The Snark Tank - #114: Joker 2: An Inside Job

Episode Date: June 21, 2022

Joker 2, PragerU knows if a baby is gay and some other stuff. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Hear that? That's the sound of McDonald's extra value meal. Sausage McMuffin with egg, hash brown, small hot coffee, and sweet golden silence. All for only $5. Price and participation may vary. Promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing.

But-a-p-pap-pah. I'm about to clap them cheeks, boy. I'm about to clap them cheeks. What do you doing? What are you hand-kill water? Bobby. No. Dad, it hurts.

Shut the fuck up, boy. You're going to take this like a man. Oh, my Lord. Immediately. What's up, everybody? How's it going? Welcome back to the Star Tank podcast. So just quick housekeeping. We recorded an episode last week, and the files

got fucked. So we apologize for that. We are going to be running through the questions that we went through in that episode later on, so your questions aren't going to be skipped or nothing. I just wanted to get that out of the way in the beginning so you guys didn't uh right think we skipped some of you but uh yeah man we got uh what is this episode one 14 i'm pretty sure or 15 i don't know i don't know yeah no 14 no it's it's

it's it's it's it is technically 115 but it can't be yeah yeah but but uh i feel like there's a lot to get through today so i feel what are you doing so i got water are you are you are we Are we sponsored by that? No, no, no, yeah, don't do that. Don't fucking do that. I'm just showing I got water. I'm sorry. No, no, no, no.

It's free advertising. Fuck smart water. You hide that label. Fuck smart water. Fuck smart water until they pay us. You hide that label, damn it. Yeah. You can get sued for that.

What? No, I can't. Yeah, probably not. No, no. Yeah, probably. You're fine. Seriously, smart water fucking sponsor us. We can use that.

We can use a sponsor. Dude, I think we can get sponsored by Liquid Death Have you seen that stupid shit? What is that? Yeah.

It looks like like an energy drink or an alcoholic beverage and it has like this crazy art on it like some skull and it's just water. It's just water. Oh.

But it's like a can. It's just water. It's liquid death in the art salt. It's elaborate. It's just water. I mean water is I feel like

you know. That's insane. That is such an insane design for water. Liquid death? You see? Is it? Is it?

Murder. Murder your thirst is their slogan. Liquid death. Yeah. I've seen a lot of people. Necessary. Yeah, but hey,

it works, man, because I've seen a lot of people straight from the Alps. It's from the Alps? Yeah. Oh. Okay.

All right. So it's like good, some good mountain water. Well, they're not, they're not sponsoring us either. So fuck them also. Yeah,

right. Until they get us. I'm going to message. No, I'm going to message. No, fuck done. Give us money. Give us money.

Nezito, no si to dollars, for favor. Please, give me money. Give me. Yeah. Pay me money for nothing in return, actually. How about that? I want, I need all the monies, man. I just, I just financed a car with my, my shit credit.

And boy, I'm going to be paying this car for quite some time. You know what I mean? So I'm trying, so I'm trying to, I'm trying to fucking, you know, raid shadow legends. Please come back. I miss you Who else? Who else? Who else gives the most ads?

Rates out of legend. Adam and Eve. We got blue aprons. I want to take all of them niggas, man. We can't just say all these brand names for free. Well, no. We're not for free so they can hear us. So they can give us more.

All of those brands. Sorry. Not until you pay. I'm trying to have five ads in every episode. I want them to cut off in the middle of some of our jokes. In the middle of our cut ads Just an absolutely chaotic show Just an

It's four hours of ads And three minutes of conversation Could you imagine how much money We'd be pulling in? No If we get nothing because no one would No one would watch For the fucking

Because we'd have to have Outrageous ads at least I did think about like a long time ago Making like a video series That was exclusively like Just making like a 10 minute ad like if I got like an ad for like honey like the whole point would be like all right this 10 minute video it's all going to be honey somehow like I thought about doing shit like that but I was just like

this is so difficult you should do a B right you should do a B movie but you make it at the end somehow a honey ad like a B movie skit but then it turns in a honey or do like a ratatooie skit at the end it turns into fucking um it turns into a blue apron or something like that like just wild shit maybe you know what? Maybe we could get sponsored by the Joker sequel. Oh, man. I like this podcast is brought to you by Joker 2. So a Joker dos. Welcome. Arthur's Revenge or some shit.

I don't know what the sub-title's going to be. It's like some French. I think the script didn't they tweet out the script or something? I feel like I remember that once, when Joker 2 is like trending a while back. but it had like some French ass subtitle that I didn't understand it was like

Say la something not the you know that would be obvious but it's a musical apparently it's a musical apparently with Lady Gaga I don't know how true this information is

but that's what everybody's running with I mean there's been no denial but yesterday I mean Twitter said Zendaya was pregnant also so that's crazy and I was all I was saying was good job Good job, bro. I was like, he did it.

He did it. For the culture. He climbed the mountain. He climbed the mountain and fucking squirted in it. The first thing I thought when I saw that was like, it's probably not true. But if it is, that's smart. That's real smart. She's only going to get better looking for like 30 years.

And then she might have to dip soon. But for like 20 years, she's going to get more attractive. So he's a smart guy. He's thinking way ahead. Because she's very pretty. She's going to become gorgeous. She's going to be the next Hallibary in the future. She's going to be the future Hallie Barry, obviously.

Yeah, what is she? How old is she, by the way? I don't know anything about her. Four or five. Yeah, something like that. Okay. Mid-20s, all right. So she just fully, she just full stop.

Nice to develop. All right. So this is what we're working with. And then, yeah, she's going to, like, that graceful. Yeah, Hallie Barry's a fucking anomaly. She is an anomaly. You know, Hallie Barry's half white. And she looks fucking.

People didn't know that. Oh, well, I mean, sure, she's pretty light. I mean, you know, she's not like. I brought that up one time. Everybody was like, what are you talking about? I was like, she's half white. I haven't, haven't. Well, how could she not be, have any like other something in her?

She's not, you know, like my shade where you have two niggas that bang. You know what I mean? And then you become a dark milk chocolate brown. You know what I mean? And then there's anything lighter than that. There has to be some other fuckery of foot. There has to be something going on. There has to be.

You're almost purple in certain lighting. I if the red the red the red the red gives you a little bit of a purple what I do is what I purposely do is I try to get as dark as possible every time and then when I return back to brown I get really sad like when I go when I went to Cancun I got so black I was almost gone and it felt great like if I closed my eyes I looked like an anomaly running at you but unfortunately you I healed I healed again and now I'm brown And I don't want this.

I want to be black. When you went to Cancun, you came back looking like a Sharpie. It was like really, it was like really awful. Was that those pictures were like, there was like the, you're on the beach or something or yeah, or something like that? You'll be a beached fucking chupacabra. The fucking cremated. I look like a creature that's dressed like me. Like someone did this monster's makeup to look like Sweeney.

Like that fucking men in black That picture Alien takes over That picture I think is like one of I think we use that picture for like one of the first dark tank thumbnail For sure Absolutely But like that is such a weird photo because it doesn't

Even look like you It's like it's a different facial feet Like structure entirely Like the nose is different Everything about that's not you in that photo That was the peak of me That was when I was at my best I was at my blackest

I was at my least human looking Bro, it was just a A string of perfection Those two things Those two things that you said together It's starting to sound like People You're at your blackest

At least human looking I didn't look like myself at all I go as far to say I'm a pretty decently looking guy right Timcast Oh my God But hold on. Wait, but listen, there's a Joker sequel. Right, right, right, right.

It's a fucking, it's a musical with Lady Gaga set to play Harley Quinn. So that's happening, I guess. Look, nobody knows if this is true. No one's come out to say this is false. But, and also, let me just say this. Just the most chaotic possible premise for a sequel is this. So it does make a ton of sense that it would be a Joker movie that would do this. Like, of course.

know, but I feel like, I wonder if we're getting a little too tongue and cheek here, if we're getting too like, hey, Morbius 2 is called Morbin time. It's not really, but like the fact that they like even play into that at all. And now Joker 2 is like a, it's like a musical and it's probably like trying to, I feel like every sequel is trying to do like a Gremlin's 2 thing now, almost, where it's like the first one was serious and now we're going to get crazy. Like, what are you doing with a musical Joker? Like, how does that even fucking going to work? Can Hawking Phoenix? Can Joaquin Phelanx even sing?

Most actors can. He can because he did, he took, he took singing lessons for half a year to play Johnny Cash. I was actually kind of interested in the Walk the Line. Oh, the time you did. He did you at. Reese Rees Rees Reitherspoon both saying, they actually saying they took singing lessons. And I'm like, see people if you actually practice and work hard, you can be half decent at stuff. You know what I mean?

Yeah, whatever. Yeah, whatever. But it was pretty cool to see that. So he can probably sing and he actually, I, I know, he can, he's going to rap. He can dance. He can dance for sure. He can rap. He can dance for sure.

He can sing, like, really dance. And rap. Jeez. That's a triple threat. That's what a threat, dude. Not the acting part, not him being a renowned actor. No. He can sing dance and rap as well.

Or he can rap, dude. He's like, he's like, L.O. Cool J. He's like on that level. Well, no, I'm a little. alone in my room and I'm dancing on the stairs. It's me. It's me.

Hello, cool, Joker. Oh my fucking God. I looked, I looked up when I thought that and I was just like, he's not going to say that too, right? That's perfect. I did.

It passed me by. I heard it. I saved it. I heard it. I heard it immediately. I was like, I was like, I was like, no one would say that, right? How did I miss that?

How did I miss that? Oh, my God, dude. That's disgusting. I love the idea of L.O. Cool Joker with the fucking bucket hat on and shit. With the bucket hat and the B-point sticks? Oh, my God. He hit that one leg. Remember you would put one of his leg pants up?

Of course, bro. Yeah, so I want to see L.O. Cool, Joker, and number two, but also dressed as commonist from, from Gladiator. That's what I want. what are you asking for I want like a bucket hat with old school like Caesar clothing

and then you're asking for just like you're asking for this horrible like Dragon Ball fusion emalganation You want a chimera I'm asking for that that what is it Dalali

AI thing or whatever it's called I want one of those things Dolly yeah that's it I want one of those legs Yeah I Dude that thing is fucking insane That if you if you've been on Twitter or like on the internet at all

I'm pretty sure you've seen these fucking things, this AI that just generates Photoshop's based on like writing prompts that you just type into it. It's the craziest shit. There was this one where I saw like, I think it was like Walter White in Lego. And it was like the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. I'm making Lego meth, but it's just him. It's so gross. You have to block this out. Block this part out.

I saw one. Don't do it. I'm not gonna I it's so funny like I saw one that I saw it and I instantly had it I turned off my computer and went to bed at like 9 30 because it was so fucking funny I was it I'm not gonna say it if it's if it's not blocked out I'm I know I shouldn't say it so let's keep going no no no no how can it be that bad how can it be that bad it can't be that bad it was a deer it was a deer doing columbine so it was pretty much the idea of like it was the It was the deer walking out with that camera view of like, what the thing? And I was like, what the fuck?

Someone made that. I was like, who thought of that? I'm Googling this. I was like, who thought of that? Like, who was like this?

Some of the ideas have been so good. Some of the ideas have been so good then. There's so many unbelievable ones. Is this a deer standing up walking out with that camera view of the guy when he was holding the gun. And I was just like, this is powerful. Who thought of this?

You know what? I'm going to say something here. This is completely non-sequent, but I saw it on Twitter. It is really weird that, like, Tekken has, like, a bear that you can play as, but King is just a guy in a mask.

But King War is, like, a real creature. That's what I mean. That's what scares me so much about King. Like, when I was a kid, I really thought, like, he was like a half tiger half man you know even in that cut scene where he takes the mascot because I was like maybe it's like a slightly uglier tiger

under there you know but that is the stupid thing I've heard in my life that is the dumbest shit I've heard of my life Chris Pink said it is objectively more fun to believe that King is a half man half tiger than he is a man who just wars like a tiger Chris I understand

but you thinking that there's an uglier tiger under that they took it off He's stupid I just thought he was a tiger man I just like I don't know I thought he was for a long time as well I think he's like an actual I think he's a leopard though any

No it's a leopard yeah well what fucking whatever Armored King is a tiger I'm not trying to be like Superbac yeah yeah I just want to make sure I just want to make sure He's a he's a leopard And he's he's just he's a fighter

But he roars like an actual like His voice is soundboards of a Of lions and tigers and shit That's what scares me Because he's like There is a When I I, this is burned into my memory. Sometimes when, because when he wins, he does a specific

roar. And sometimes when I do something triumphant or like I beat something really, you know, that was hard. I don't, it comes in my head, though. Like, he'll be like, he just goes like this like, like he'll do like a thumbs down or some shit to you. Oh, I know exactly. He does like that. Like that he like And like he does this And like he almost sound One of the roars almost sounds like a dog It's almost like barking

Like usually when he starts off with that like weird thing Where he twist around and then like suplexes you It almost sounds like it's it's such a weird soundboard But I was so fascinated with it to where I learned the combos to just It'll just kill you. It's like little one shot. Oh yeah his his constant fucking suplexes

Yeah That are bullshit. I remember most of them. the combinations. I remember most of it, but I kind of forgot towards the end where you do it the last two and the swing and then you just die. But that's all, it's such a weird, but I do like the idea of that, yeah, he takes off the mask and then there is just a slimmer, not as good looking cat creature. Just a slightly less aesthetically pleasing tiger. No, it's like really, it's a very, It's a very accurate tiger actually, like crazy accurate, like photorealistic.

Like more photorealistic than his mask is. Yeah. And he wears that to calm people down. He's like, ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro how amazing. How amazing would that have been if techon put all of their budget into like photorealistic. We takes his mask off and then it like costs millions of dollars just to render his fucking face where it just looks like a real fucking tiger. They make no, they make no. profit every game because of how much they have to put into making his face. They make Zit.

The most profit they made was $25 because of how much they put into fucking King's face. Let's go, guys. We can get two for $5.99, two media two topping pizzas with their profit. Let's fucking go. They drive themselves into fucking bankruptcy. Because the lead designer. It's undisputed the best-looking model that has ever been. Like they did it in the 90s.

They did it looks better than any. It looks better than Quarry. It looks better than anything. It looks better than Thanos and fucking Davy Jones. And you're just like, yo, how did you do this? How did you do this? And it's like, how did you do this and get it running on a PlayStation? How did you fucking do this?

Bro, a lot of money, a lot of time, a lot of people died at their desk, man. A lot of people passed away at their desk. We would have people sitting on the dead people. Like, we wouldn't even take them out of their chair. Okay, this person died in this chair, sit in his lap and finish his work. Sit in his lap. They have to start stacking the bodies under the computers, too, because there's too many bodies on the chairs, so now the ratio is off.

So he's, so he's too high. So they got, oh my God. Put the bodies under the fucking monitors. People are dying left and right. It's just pillars. It's just, it's just pillars of bodies and dead. It looks like, uh, like human versions of like those rock formations in the

Sayan saga where they're all like standing on those pillars. Just the rocks had a stack. Dude, you know what's crazy? I went to Joshua Tree and I actually saw those. Yeah, they're real. I didn't. Jalen and I saw them when we were driving through New Mexico and we were driving to L.A. Also, when you go to a place, like, very wind blown, and you can see, like, the wind destroying rocks.

That's the most disgusting thing ever. The idea that, like, wind will eventually roll rocks are pussy, because eventually wind beats them up, you know? It's like, damn, bro, you got beat up by the wind. It's all about endurance, man. The rocks endure better than, like, people would. have you held a person up out there for like a few months he'd be missing. It's crazy how rocks will erode in the wind, but people are fine, you know? Yeah. Yeah, definitely, totally.

People don't erode in the wind. Hurricanes or tornadoes don't do shit to people. Well, that doesn't erode you. That just picks you up and bashes you against the shed or like a McDonald's or something. It picks you up and it flees you into an auto zone. Into an auto zone. You just end up in an auto zone. What if there was a phenomenon that literally every single person that's been sucked into a tornado has landed at an auto zone?

Every person that's lived, every person that's lived has made it to an auto zone. So you got to aim for auto zone. What kind of research would you have to do? What would that like to be like, what is the connection? That reminds me of the waffle house index. Do you know what that is? What is that? Wait, what is that?

This is very real. It's apparently like a tool that people use to figure out like how badly, like how bad weather conditions are going to be. And they base it off of whether or not a certain percentage of Waffle House is state open. So like this is real. Like you could look it up. It's like actually like a genuine metric that I think meteorologists and other other like important people use to determine how severe a storm is going to be. It's like if the Waffle House is closed, run because it's a big deal. It's a big storm headed your way.

Have you been to Woffelaw? If it's like, if it's like medium capacity, then it's like it's probably okay, but you should stay inside. And if it's like, if it's operating as normal, then like there's nothing to worry about. Because have you been to Woffel after?

Recently, actually, for the first time. Oh, my. In Florida? Yeah, yeah, because I was in Florida for the creator clash and I went to, there's like a picture of these in front. Dude, those things are so small. What, yes, they are. Oh, no, I went to large ones.

Was there a confrontation? What? Was there a confrontation within, did you see anything that made you nervous within the Waffle House? No, but everything outside of it worried me. Oh, okay. That's interesting because from my experience, more times than not, something happens. Something goes on. Bro, I want to.

You got to go to Waffle House on Sunday. You got to go on Sunday afternoon. And you'll, if you, if let's say if you're a person that likes seeing chaos. Actually, I think that is, wait, I think that is literally when we went was Sunday afternoon. If you like seeing chaos and like disorder, like, and like, if you have a thrill, like, if you want to go skydive but you don't got the money to go skydiving, go to a waffle house after church and just stand in there and you'll get enough thrill to last you a lifetime. Because I didn't, I didn't see anything. It was actually super nice. Like everybody there was like really chill, like the waitress like took like a photo with us and everything.

Like it was like a really nice experience But there was one guy in the far corner shaking So like I don't know what his story was But he was about to blow You just missed it He was just like he was holding that gun Concealed gun and he was just like He's just like when I see him

He doesn't know who but when he sees him When I see him He's gonna get it That's so fucked because it's probably just some like He has like some association with some specific type of face structure that he recognized from when he was like a kid so he's like oh man like i've seen this guy in a movie and i didn't like him in that movie so i'm like he looks kind of like i'm gonna i'm gonna nail him down it's like you remember this is like an old episode where some guy was like

he heard the n-word but only at like really bad times so when he was in the theater as a little kid when he saw syndrome on stage he screamed the inward at him oh yeah what was that was that Somebody who wrote, was that somebody who wrote in? Yeah, imagine that, like a little, the stand in the calls of me, just like. I can't imagine seeing the Incredibles in like 2004, 2005 in theaters, before cell phones, before the internet, just like expecting a normal, like, completely non-subversive experience

going to the movies. And then having a child screamed the N-word at syndrome. Oh, my God. That is crazy. I feel like now, I feel like now we almost expect, these types of things. Because we see videos go viral every now and again of like some freak making like a big stink in like a movie theater or like some

like nonsense like that. But like I feel like before like heavy internet time. Like you just sort of genuinely went out expecting a normal day. I expect a normal day every day. Now I don't. I always put a normal day because there was one time I went to the movie theater by the Batman statue near where we used to live and some guy was offering. some guys and he was like get away from me

he was like I'm just trying to give you this please and he's like get away from me get away from me and me and my girlfriend was walking up the steps while it was happening the guy was like please take this or me take this and he was like stay away from me stay away from me and I was like what the fuck I was but then I realized how jaded I was because

when I was younger I wouldn't have walked near them I would have got away from them but I walked the right like I was like front and a guy walked past me. I was like, oh, what's going on here? Whatever. He's saying, get away from me.

I wonder what's going on. There's something really funny about seeing an adult to tell another adult to get away from them. He was like, get away from me. Get away from me. It was so fucking weird. What the fuck happened? I just want to know, man. You should have asked.

Yeah, you're right? Hey, excuse me. What's going on here? That's just interject. Excuse me, what exactly what exactly is happening? happening right now. This is a initiate a side quest.

Oh my God. I've seen a quest in action before when I was, I just got out of like a Clippers game. And then so everybody's piling out and shit. And there was these two people sprinting. Like a guy was running and I was like, what the, I've never

seen that before. I've seen people like run a little bit. But I'm talking about as fast as humanly possible sprinting. And I was like, that guy did something and that guy's trying to kill him. And I wanted to know what, what? Because there was, like a lot, like what were you talking about, Cheetah trying to get a fucking gazelle or something? It was that fast.

And I was like, dude, I've never seen that much like someone, if you're running that fast, you know you're going to fucking die. Like there's, there's, if you're running that fast, you're running to survive. At that speed you're running to get to safety. Like, I got to get safe. And this guy's not safe. There's like a special, there's like a Goldilocks area in like the sprinting speed of a person where it's like, okay, you're running. You're not at risk of falling.

You're causing yourself like a little bit of harm. You know, like you're just, you're running. And then there's like, I'm running for my life. So I clearly can't safely stop. Right. You know, but I'll worry about that later. Later. That's exactly what that was. The idea of running, like the idea of running, because, you know, when you're like, you

know, like right now, like, I probably can't run as I normally could. But if I was in danger, I could probably fucking cook it. And the point of, I love seeing people that get so scared, they unlock the ability to run fast again when they didn't know they had it anymore. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, oh, something's happening. And this, like, dude, it's like big 400 pound dude stands up. and torpedoes away.

You're like, oh, I didn't know Al was still fast. What really blows my mind is how much it takes for certain people. Like, I've definitely seen videos. Like, I'm not, I can't be the most physically healthy person. But I can run. Like, I can, I is fast. You know? So when I see, like, there's that video, this famous video,

I'm sure you've seen it in Kingston because it's something that you would laugh. fed. But if this guy getting dragged away by a lion do you remember? Yes, in a zoo? Where he's like, he's like in the zoo he's like in the little thing and then he sees the lion coming towards him and he runs away.

But he like scampers like a teletubbe. And I'm like, bro, sprint. The thing is that you can't, what are you doing? It's a lion. You can't sprint at that moment, Chris. There's no. Yeah, Chris, there's no. Look, look, look, once you're in that

spot like it's like certain encounters that like oh man I saved before this and now I have to fight this guy it's like one of those encounters where like it's too late when a lion can see you and there's nothing blocking the two of you anymore

you can't get away no but the thing is like there was no there wasn't even an attempt like what what do you gain from not attempting you know what I mean like and also like the lion wasn't even sprinting it was just like sort of like sauntering up to him and then it just grabbed him.

He could have got away, I think. Yanked him up, fucking grabbed him with his paw and threw him out of wall. It was the most pathetic little scamper. It was like a, it was like a fucking like Pixar like, like, I don't even know. Minions or something. Yeah, it's like it's like when a toy and toy story that doesn't have joints walks. Oh my God. Fucking Woody just like.

No fucking Woody. Dude, Woody was booking it, man. Woody was sprinting. Woody was sprinting every time it was on camera. Woody has joints, though. No, he doesn't. He's all fucking soft. That's why when he runs his arms, go bananas.

No, but what I mean is like a, he's not like a solid piece of plastic. I know what I mean. He has bending points. He does it. The animation of Woody running is still like a really fantastic animation. It's pretty good. It's so, I wish I could move that way.

He looks like Ezra Miller. Dude, we have to talk about that. I completely forgot. Did he kidnap someone? Did he kidnap somebody? Dude, he is, he's graduated to full-blown villain. He graduated from the academy. And they're like, good job.

You're officially in the Legion of Doom. Now goes kidnap an 18-year-old. He's so. He's so rambunctious. Like, that's the nicest way to put his behavior. he just doesn't behave he's that kid in your school that's playing with a fucking lighter

and you're like hey dude maybe you shouldn't play with that and he's like fuck you yeah where we're going to eat where we're going to eat and it's like dude I don't know about the lighter man

like I don't we're in a place with a lot of farmland like you probably have a light he's like nah man when something cool and throws it into a hay bale he throws it into a hay bale we all

we all knew somebody at school that was like that. There was always that. We all went to school and somebody like that. Yeah, they had that one kid. That was just like,

I remember, I remember, I remember a Catholic school. It was a kid who, like, he's self-immolated. It was pretty crazy. What?

Like set himself on fire? Yeah, yeah. He was like sitting there like this. He was like, he was like, okay, okay.

He focused to, you know, imagine you're focusing and you get to like a good point where you're levitating, but you focus a little bit too much more. He set on fire.

You just spontaneously combust. I was like, no, I overfocused. I overfocus. No, but so, so Ezra Miller, this is real. He's kidnapped. He stole a person. Oh, my God. I don't know what, something's going on with this character, man. Like, I don't know, I don't know what the hell is going on, but he, his brain is. I don't know if it's running low on storage or what, but it's not operating at full capacity. There's something seriously wrong. I just think he with this person

Literally wants to be a villain I just think I just bored I think he's just bored I think he's bored And he's like you know what I want to fuck something up Like Ezra Miller Shouldn't be famous

He's the kind of guy He wants to go around doing bad What's going on is doing not good And the fact that he's famous Everybody's looking at him do it But if you probably go back in his life He's the kind of guy that probably had like He probably was hanging on Michael Vic

During the dog fight He's not one of those kind of motherfuckers But he was always involved in something not good. But it's fun. Like he's having a time of his life. Like if you saw him during that time when he's beating people up in Hawaii, you'd be like, that's a person that's happy. He's happy right now.

You know what's crazy? He's happy. That whole thing with Michael Vick, that is the only reason I know who that is. I don't know who Michael Vick is. I don't know what he does. I don't know if he's an athlete. I don't know, like, what the situation is.

All I know is that he got dogs to fight each other in a fucking battle royale in basement. What makes it crazy is that, well, obviously, the main thing was, I would hate Michael Vick because of the fact that, like, he was wrong. He shouldn't have done that. But what made it worse is that he was the most paid athlete in the NFL at that time. He was. Oh, he's a football player? He was.

Yeah, he was a quarterback. He was a quarterback or running back. I don't remember which one. He was quarterback. He was the most paid at that time. He was literally like a Hall of Fame level, like good. Like he was amazing. Yeah.

He was an anomaly because of how fast he was. He was so insanely fast that sometimes he would have more touchdowns than like running backs themselves. Like he could just run it in. Like his second year, he had more running yards than his running back, which is something that's not, that doesn't happen with a quarterback. Quarterbacks throw the ball. That's all they do.

Well, so, you know, You know when you're on top of the world and you're just bored? Like that's, I think that's what happened to him. He was just like, you know what, dude? Like, I have everything going for me. I have so much money. I am better than, like, everybody in my league. Let's kill some dogs.

Let me make some dogs better than everybody else in their lead, too. Adorable. I just don't understand how people have the capacity to do. I look at pit bulls and it looks so adorable to me. Like, they don't look like killers to me. I don't know. When I see pit bulls, they don't look like. I think Rottweilers are the only animals that, like dogs that look, I'm a little bit wary or I'm like, hmm, that thing looks like, hmm, that's probably the only dog.

You know what's crazy? A little bit. Pit bulls don't look like I saw so many scary pit bulls growing up because I lived in New York City, of course. And then people have pit bulls. And then. It's pit bulls city over there. Dude, Puerto Rican and Dominican people have pit bulls, bro. That's a thing.

they just have them and like I remember my cousin got a pit bull because it's hard because it's harder to register for a gun yeah so you just get a fucking you just get a pit bull

I remember I mean niggas too man they have pit bulls so I remember my cousin got a pit bull because they were like oh we're gonna raise it to be like a fucking guard dog

and all that shit obviously the wrong reason to get a pet you know it's supposed to get a pet that love it and I remember when it first got there there was a little blue nose

pit bull and it walked up to me and I was scared because I was like It was small, so I was more comfortable being around it. It walked up to me, and it just laid on my lap and fell asleep. And I was like, holy shit. Now that I'm seeing this dog without a five-year-old in its mouth, this dog is actually one of the cutest eggs on the planet.

They're so cute, dude. Pimbles are so cute. And if they're raised right, they're so loving, dude. Well, that's literally every dog ever. That's literally every dog. Dogs are domesticated. Well, no, some dogs are fucked. No, some dogs, no, it's usually just the individual.

Like, we had a dog that had a mental health issues and it seemed like it had some type of amnesia type of thing. It was fucked up. Like, it couldn't really remember people. Sometimes it would get frightened or, like, scared. It would be around you like, oh, cool. And then they could be the next day and be like, who the fuck are you? It was like, there was something wrong with that dog. But, like, it's the individual.

Because, like, I've never been around a dog. All the ferocious ones, Rotweilers, pit bulls, all the ones that people are usually scared of, German shepherds. All sweethearts because all the people I'm around. Yeah. They're decent human beings. I've definitely, I've definitely been more afraid of like chihuahuas than I have been of like full on pit bulls and like Rottweil. Think about the type of people who get chihuahuas.

They're fucking assholes. I'm telling you. Yeah. Like, well, it's just when they're angry, they're so, they're so fast and small. And you ever see like the small dogs, the way that they, they don't have the mass. To do how mad they are. They don't have the mass to slow them down. Like you can really

A pit bull You can like there's a lot of telegraphing there Because there's there's a lot of weight for it to manage it It the the speed at which a small dog can shake its head Is fucking borderline terrifying Like you don't know like it's just like knives flailing around it every which way It's not like a solid like a bike I have definitely I've definitely seen people gig as one of

There is some dude in the Bronx obviously that shouldn't have had this dog But he had an, um, Alaskan Malamute and a, some sort of St. Bernard mix. And he would walk it late at night because of how big that, it was so big it was horrifying. It was like the dog from Sandlot and a big ass monster dog from Sandlot. And I remember he, I was going home really late because I was doing something stupid.

I was out with my friend for some reason that I should have been. I was only like maybe 11 or 12 years old. And I was going home and I saw the dog give. get loose from him and attack some guy and it was a mess. That guy was wounded. He couldn't get the dog off. The dog was at least like pushing like maybe 270. And he could not get that dog off.

And all I did was see it and run away. I didn't call the police. I didn't call anybody. I was like, if I get involved, I'm going to die too. And then the next week he was like, yeah, had to put the dog down and ate half some guy's face. And I was just like, yeah,

I guess so. Damn, dude, don't have dogs. Because people don't socialize, you need to socialize dogs. That's the biggest thing for them. You have to socialize them and get them used to being around people. And that's it.

They'll be fine. They take out dogs off because you don't even have to really do that. You have to, dude. Dogs, no, that's not because there's people that are just, I live by myself in an apartment.

And then I'm not a piece of, of trash and I'm just chill my dog's feeding off my energy. It sees another person. Typically, how I react to other people is how the dog's going to react to other people. Do I hate people? My dog's going to fucking hate people. Do I, am I friendly to my dog's going to be, it's very, your dog feeds off your energy. So if your dog has the potential to be a killer and if you're a piece of trash,

your dog's going to be a fucking killer. Or you can just be, you can have a fucking pit bull or Rottweiler and they'll become the biggest, my friend's German Shepherd Kimball was the biggest pussy alive. People would be afraid to like pet him. They'd be like, oh shit. Kimball would run under your legs. Like, oh my God, a person.

He's like, I'm not sure about this shit. And I'm like, dude, you'll eat any of them. Like, what are you doing? But that's just that they're not. Yeah, they're not. They're monsters. They're not. They're dogs.

Dogs by nature love people. That's like, that's like part of their build. Well, not coyotes. No, no, no. Dogs. Not coyotes. Dogs. Regular P.

Coyotes are so, like, I was in L.A. when I first heard, when I first heard coyotes for the first time, when they were like, I heard them, like, I was, like, walking around late at night at, like, 3 a.m. And I was like, I might die today, whatever. But, like, there were, there was, like, a bunch of coyotes in, like, a bush. And they were laughing. I can't, it sounds like, they sound like babies really fighting is the best way that I could describe what I heard that. I was like, it was like babies engaged in really intense combat. Yeah, like, it was like crying and laughing at the same time with like, you know, yeah, yeah, you know, like, sure, like you can hear like the voices like moving like rapidly. Like it was just so gross.

They're fucking weird. You know what's crazy? You can have coyotes as pets and they'll be fine. The only foxes. You can have them as pets. And I'm like, you can domesticate most of those things. And it's like, you can domesticate them to a degree. Yeah.

No, no, people have pet wolves And I don't fucking, I don't I wouldn't fucking They're just stupid Like, it's just like you can You can you can domestic like There's people that They have bears

Their entire lives and shit like that It's possible Absolutely But it's just also If you slip up Their instincts can kick in And they'll eat your face You know what I mean

And it's like And it'll be sad afterwards too You basically be like God damn man That was my friend Fuck It's so That's the thing

It's like It's not you could do it, but it's not really worth, like even if you're really good at something, there's like a general risk reward thing that you have to take it to continue. Like imagine, think about how many times you've like bitten your tongue or like nicked the side of your cheek while eating something. Despite the fact that you have a lot of experience eating and speaking. Now imagine that like, oh, instead of nicking your tongue a little bit,

you react to your pet bear wrong and it kills you you know like that's if I died as if I was in a life or death situation as many times as I've nicked my tongue Jesus Christ you know what I mean you don't people people don't respect the fact that some animals are wild animals and they deserve their own peace like let them be this video this guy high-fiving a bear

and the bear grabs his hand and it's like, well, you don't deserve that hand anymore. Do you hear about that chick? This was recently, I think it was a bison or something. It was something recently that this woman was like, I want to go pet the bison or something. It was something like that.

And it fucking threw her like a hundred feet, like or something. It fucking, she got fucking hit so hard that she flew because it's a wild giant, like two-ton animal or something. It's a fucking bison. Like, what are you?

Why would you? And there's people doing that shit with moose too. Moose are the biggest fucking thing. Like, moose, I don't care how domesticated a moose would be. It would terrify me. Because I feel the same way when I see a giant horse. Like when I'm close to a giant horse, I feel it's so intimidating. Even though they're like, you can ride me and I'm like, no, please.

Horses are unbelievably domesticated. Take my money, horse. You can have my wallet. Moose, mese, moose, moose is whatever. those things are fucking scary big. Like I did not realize they were as big as they were until I saw. This is famous video. I'm sure if you like Google Moose, it's there.

It's like one of the first images you see. Is it running through the street? It's walking in the middle of a street next to cars. And it's like a fucking 80-80. It is so damn tall, but only in its sense. legs. They're big. And you're like, what the fuck is this creature?

This is scary. They're so, a moose is so big that you could run into it with your car, probably like smash its legs out from under it, and then the moose would just fall on top of your car like a fucking anvil. Like, they're so tall, stupid. They're really big and they're fucking scary looking. Yeah, and they're oner.

They'll fuck you up. Like, if you get to, if you get, if you get, they're, yes, they're horny. They're horny and ornery. They're both. They'll be angry that your pussy isn't that good. They'll be angry that your pussy's in that good. They'll kill you.

They'll kill you after your pussy's so fucking bad. This was a bad bussy. Stomp your face. That is so, that is so scary. Every picture of a moose I see is horrifying. It's just, it feels like. There was a, there was a video I was watching. when I was streaming a few days ago.

This motherfucker. Russian, of course. Of course they're Russian. Because they don't, they don't, they can't, they don't get afraid right. They don't get like, I think if a Russian feels fear, they die. I think that they didn't. Like, once the Russians scared, they're like, oh, my God, this one felt fear. We got to get them out of, get them out of the gene pool.

But there was this image of these Russians feeding a polar bear. And I'm like, what? on earth Oh that is insane Are you doing? Yeah no thank you Polar bears are no joke At all

Polar bears are literally Nightmares and Carnet bro They are horrified Aren't they literally the strongest bear I'm pretty sure They're the biggest bear They have to be because of their climate They don't have any vegetation or fucking

To eat so it's all fucking just carnivorous so they have to be strong to break ice They have to be able to just razzed you know, just ravage fucking seals. They gotta be able to swim. They're like, sweet. Look at that whatever kind of meat. And there's horrible videos and testimony of people getting their homies snatched.

And the fuck the thing about bears is they don't typically kill their prey before they eat it. They'll just start eating it. Yeah, they don't murder things. They'll smack you down. And then just start taking bites out of you. And it's like, bro. There was this video. There was this video of this guy talking about how they went on like a,

like an ice fishing trip or something like that. And they got onto a, their boat started fucking up. So they got onto a shelf of ice. And like 100 meters away, they saw a bear. And the bear went inside the water, came about another sheet of ice.

Then went inside the water, and they kept doing that until, like, got close and just grabbed one of their friends. And it went to the, the ice sheet that was like, unironically, 20 feet away, stared at them and ate their friend.

The only reason why I didn't eat them is because people finally came and scared it off. It literally was eating their friend and looking up at them afterwards. I wonder where it started. Like he started out like the handle. Probably the midsection. Like an hors d'oeuvre. It just started out like a chicken wing. It's just so.

Respect. What are you doing down there? What are you doing down there? People respect animals. I agree. Respect them. Respect them. Respect.

What are you doing down there as a person? Like I understand that that's like a tragic story. Very sad. You don't care. You don't care. I mean, like if you came to me, right? If you came to me, it's like, and you told me this story about something that you've been there. Like, ah, man, it's really rough and crazy.

But also, what the fuck were you doing? But there's no reason to be in the fucking South North Pole wherever the fuck you are, Antarctica, fucking deep, deep Alaska where the fucking Wendigos live? Like, I don't know why you're in this place that nature itself is trying to tell you you don't belong. Oh, being out here without

15 layers of heated silk and wool hurts. Maybe leave. That's a good sign. It's like, everybody who's like, oh, man, isn't it crazy how, like... This is a discussion I got into recently where it's like, oh, it's a crazy how, like,

planet Earth is like so perfect for human life and it's like the sun gives you cancer. It's not dumbest thing. You have to put sunscreen on to stay outside. It's almost it's almost so obvious that humans are alien to this planet that it's insane. Like gravity literally hurts us. Like gravity literally hurts us. We can't swim in the ocean. That person is a religious person. I'm assuming. a woman. Uh, is spiritual. It's a woman, right? It's a woman, right? It's a woman, right? It's a woman, right? It's a woman.

Anyway. It's a woman, right? Is it a woman? It's a woman. It's a woman. It's a woman. Obviously, it's a woman, of course. Obviously. Of course, it's a woman.

Of course. No man thinks they're lucky here. You know, I'm stuck with women. Women. Can you imagine, like this is some guy coming back from the woods. He's got chunks spitting out of him by a bear. And he comes, oh, we're so lucky to live on this planet. Wow.

It has been perfectly designed for us. It's because it's the same thing when I hear about like. Perfectly designed for us. His eyes. He's, he's touching his lips. He's licking his tongue. He's looking his eyeball as he speaks, bro.

That's how fucking low it's hanging. That's what, you always hear those people. intelligent design are like, oh yeah, we're designed so perfectly. And I'm like, all right, dude. Okay. Next time, uh, take, take a sip of water and when you choke on it, you know, like, like, tell me how perfect of a design it is to have fucking, where your, your fucking

tube is just in the end where you eat and drink is shares the same fucking pathway where it's so easy to choke and die. Like, like, what, isn't that a design, like a major design flaw that a lot of people die that way? There's so much like, like, like. Think of it like this. Half of the day we can't see things. The fact that there is a, like the fact that there, we have blind spots naturally.

We have blind spots in the areas in which we see. It's not even like behind us where it would make sense. Simply in the radius of our sight, there's a spot that we can't detect. That there's things there. Like we are so, we are so not perfectly made for this. We're pretty well adapted. Most creatures are well adapted. But like most of the planet is water and we can't breathe in it.

Humans as swimmers are so slow. It's embarrassing. Like I think a doggy paddling dog might be able to outswim a human. That is ridiculous. That is so stupid. I don't know, dogs are pretty sewed water. I would say maybe the average swimmer, non-Olympic swimmer. Yeah, because they do like dolphin type shit.

They jump in the water and they just glide on it. They do that fucking, they do that fucking Fortnite animation when they jump in and out. But I think, uh... Fortnight. You can't say Fortnite. You can't say Fortnite and not say Fortnite in that way. You have to always say Fortnite. We love Fortnite.

We love Fortnite. We love Fortnite. We love Fortnite. We love Fortnite. Fort. Fortnight. You always have to say it like that. Fortnight.

Yeah. I think, anyway, the main takeaway from this, I guess, is that Joker 2 is probably going to be okay. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's probably going to outperform the first one. That's what we were talking about when we got here. I don't know how we got here. Animals and bears and shit. Yeah.

Should we, should we touch on this bilsey, 11 thing because I'm not actually sure what the situation is like because I've only heard a little bit about it and I'm not sure I fully grasp it. It's like this Canadian bill that they're passing right?

Do we even have any Canadian listeners? Like it's yeah it's Canadians you know like I don't care it's a big deal to them I don't give a fuck I don't know it's pretty it is pretty crazy based on like based on what little I know about

it all that's going to happen all that's going to happen This shit's going to happen. What is it again? And then Trudeau's going to dress as a black man again. Everybody's going to be like, damn, bro. Stop doing that. So what is Bill C-11 gives Trudeau the access to fully be in blackface at all times? He can say the end word.

That's what it is. That's what it is. Can you imagine passing legislation that says it's okay for Justin Trudeau to say the N-word? That would be fucking awesome. I'd probably move to Canada and like just to support him. No, he used it all the time. he abuses it the worst

improv partner ever I like the worst improv partner ever it's just no no I like the idea of him just putting it no no it's better if he just put it has it in his back pocket

and he never uses it what is the point of passing this thing if he doesn't use it you have to assume ways he's using it you got to find it like where is he like if he passed it he has to want to use it right but he wants to use it

but he has to make sure that it still has him meaning. So he keeps it like it's like when somebody says it's like if you know somebody who just curses all the time like whenever they curse it like loses all meaning. You know what I mean? It's like oh, that's just how that person curses. But like Justin Drew is like I'm gonna I'm gonna whip this out like when I when I'm when I'm waiting in line for too long or like my my my lemonade is taking taking too long in the kitchen or oh man they gave me the wrong they gave me the wrong omelet. You know like things like that. Or what do you think like what do you think he's waiting but he's waiting for like say the next time you know um the u.s has another uh school shooting and then he's

gonna he's gonna comment on it and then just just in passing he's just like nigger this has to stop and that's just that he just so quickly damn like this has this is a little bit too much and that's it like he says it's so nonchalantly at a very serious issue this is like but it hits home though because he's like damn that he fucking he dropped an imbaugh man he means business and then people would be all mad, but then he'd whip out the Bill C-11 and be like, uh, excuse me. I can say this. We've been over this. We've been over this. Now please get, now please got on my face before I harm you. Excuse me, nigger. We've been over this. Bill C. nigger was this. He just says the hard are right at you and he walks past you. He shoves past you. Bill C-12 is, is when I don't understand this. Is it, is it actually Bill C-L.

11 or 10, which one is this? 11, what is this? So this is, I'm reading it right now. So Bill C11, I'm reading this. So, how, how? Go ahead and read it. I was just going to say, I don't, how to understand how their bills work because all of them years ago, we were talking about Bill C-16.

Like, what's going on like with how did they have a bill C-16 and then now there's this bill, Bill C-11? Did this bill already exist and then they're amending it? I don't understand this shit at all. I don't know. I don't know if like these numbers are necessarily. like in order. I think they're just like kind of like serial numbers almost. But like I think, so what I'm seeing right now, this is going to be like the kind of bland part of the show.

This is like somewhat important. On November 22nd last year, the federal government in Canada, introduced Bill C-11, the Online Streaming Act in the House of Commons. Its goal is to allow the CRTC, not sure what that. I think that's like Canadian regulation trade commissioners or something like that. Critical race theory cunts. Yeah. To regulate online streaming services. The Netflix's and Disney's of the world as well as platforms like YouTube and Spotify.

So basically it opens up YouTube to government regulation, which is a, not specifically a problem for YouTube, but like if it affects specifically independent creators on that platform, that's a massive fucking deal. And I don't know. It's just a I encourage everybody who cares about this to kind of like look into it. I know Moudahar did a pretty good video on it. I haven't finished it. Oh yeah. He's from that Godforsaken country, right? Yeah.

He's, he's a Canadian. Yeah. Would you consider Canada God forsaken or just God ignored? That's what that means. Because God forsaken means that like, for forsaken me he's giving up on you. But like God is kind of like he hears Canada and he's like, shut up. go like massacre more natives shut up I feel like

he finally I feel like he definitely ignores Montreal that's for sure but he heard Toronto because he gave them he gave them a dub they got a championship they got NBA championship

so he was like you know what I got you they had a championship and Drake so that's pretty good that's pretty good for them yeah they did have Drake which I feel like that's more of I don't know man

I'm conflicted about Drake I feel like he might be considered in the long run more of a blight thing than anything. He'll be a blight to music, but he won't be a blight for fucking Toronto.

I think he's helping Toronto out. But I think in general, especially rap music, he's definitely done damage to it. Period. Oh, man. What else? He's done a lot of damage to Millie Bobby Brown, too,

if you know what I mean? Oh, man. That's concerningly possible. Well, at least, At least she's legal. At least it's legal. We didn't, we didn't, we didn't, we didn't, uh, we didn't mention this. Oh, we did, but like the episode, the episode died.

Morbius, they put Morbius back in theaters and it bombed again. So like, uh, just wanted to, just want to address that. That's awesome. I love that that happened. Uh, but, uh, I want to work for their, I want to work for their team. I want to work for the team. Whoever, whoever gave them information that said that that was going to do well, I want that job. Because clearly it's just a random person.

it's not someone who knows how to do actual marketing research because there's no way in hell that ever should have happened. We were flamed. Morbius, Morbius as a concept was getting dped and they were like, you know what, keep them out there for a few more rounds. He's got it.

But like who, it's like, hey, this is getting popular after it's been digitally downloaded and distributed and streamed on Twitch and made memes. Let's bring it back in theaters. It would have been like,

hey, marketing would show that it's going to make zero money because nobody gave, fuck about it when it was in theaters. Yeah, right? And then they would be, oh, yeah, you're right. So whoever said that to them is probably this guy that's 78 years old doesn't understand anything.

And he's still using a fucking typewriter somehow to calculate shit. And he's just like, he's just a little typewriter to calculate it. See, according to E equals MC squared, I think Morgan B is actually could make us a few more million. it made $85,000. I don't know how they thought. That guy is now being beaten and tortured in, in, in, in, uh, it was so, does Sony have

torture chambers? I think the Japanese would do something like that. They have a, uh, probably torture chambers in their, in their executive offices. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. In some, some form or another. That's what he's being punished. So he's been punished.

So the job should be open. Sony reach out. I got you in marketing. I'll make sure you don't lose so much money in Morbius too. Yeah. All right. It's more. Do you guys want to get into questions?

Let's go for it. Let's get to some questions. We're going to cover some of the questions that we got to in the episode that got fucking yeated into the sun. We're going to do this a little bit rapid fire because we have other questions to get to. So, you know, let's just start up. Obie Won't Chablombie Road. And he says, hey, guys, what is an actual verifiable fact that you could easily be

convinced was myth if you didn't know it to be true? An example I would choose the fact that the Titanic broke in half while sinking. That shit just sounds and looks fake at first glint. I Gays can't see color Gays can't see color Yeah Is that why they think the rainbow flag

Looks good? Yeah It all harkens back to the beginning For me It would be the idea That like the space landings Like I can be told The space landings will be face

And I'm like I guess For me Gays can't see color Actually Actually Is that what's his name Is that freaking Prager you

No That actually makes sense But I was trying to deal the grass Tyson Gays can't see color Because color has forsaken them Color is beauty And beauty does not be long

In the eyes of a gay And their stupid fucking audience would believe it It's got the blue background And like the animated text falling down And he's like poorly green screened in front of it So good. Do you know that gays do not see color?

I can't even... I have murdered 40 babies. Forty. All justified. Because they're gay. Because they're gay. I could tell. I could tell the new porn.

I murdered these gaybies because they're gay. I murdered. Happy Pride Month. Gaby's Prager and fucking eliminating Gavis I've killed 75 Gaby's in Pride Month It's a side quest

He's like He's working up to that fucking Oh my God What's that achievement? What's that achievement in Gears of War 2 that was like fucking like Like kill like 53,000 fucking fucking

He's getting a she's getting achievements Prager you achievements kill 100 Gaby's in pride of it. I am three quarters of the way there. It like pops up like the X-Moc along. It pops up like the Xbox screen. Whereas like you're 85% the way there to killing all

gamies in North America. And it's like what the fuck? Oh my God. I love the idea of just knowing what babies are gay. I just love that so much. It's your moral imperative to make people feel uncomfortable about who they are at heart. That sounds very real. For me,

for me, yeah, yeah, yeah. For me, I feel like it's probably a fucking... I feel like it's very plausible to me that, like, a lot of historical figures are, like, amalgamations of several different people. I feel like I wouldn't be surprised to hear, like, oh, fucking this incredible historical figure is actually, like, four different people who they just, like,

merge together for the simplicity of history. That wouldn't surprise me Because I just feel like If I don't see anything Like I believe I know Lincoln It was real obviously But like I didn't see him

I'm just believing everybody That he's real You know what I mean If he's not real I wouldn't be like I would like well I guess cool Yeah exactly Like you could

You could be I could be told Any number of things about the past And I'll probably brush it off Just fine It's like oh Lincoln wasn't real It's like

All right Doesn't change What's happening now I guess you know I'm still I'm still exactly where I am So like fucking whatever Like it being real doesn't change that

I learned that the mad emperor Nero Is actually the same guy As Nero and Devil May Cry for Yeah it's the same guy It's real history Dude it's like it's like when they say Shakespeare Didn't actually write any of his stuff

And it's like what at this point like whatever dude Oh yeah Well that's yeah that's actually So that's a real theory So Niro is based off of what? No Not what the fuck what are you talking about I'm being I'm being completely

Because one's a video game character and one's an emperor. What happened? What was that? What was that? The emperor had a... That's what I was so... It's like you forgot. It's like you forgot you were on a comedy podcast.

I was so confused. I was like, why is he saying? Because my brain, what's happening right now is my brain was trying to rationalize that Nero's not a real person. Like what am I trying? Like, what are you trying to say? The real Nero had to. some demon arm

thing. That's some devil arm thing and that's what drove him mad to like have you know, he was, never mind. Nero was awesome. Everything you heard is a lie. Do you think fiction in fiction is like bland?

It's probably wilder. It's not even wilder. No, no, no, no. Like what I'm saying is like you have people like, you have people like, uh, if you live in like Delmecry World, right, where people are running around doing flips and shit and they got like demon arms and they're doing like devil trigger shit and like there's demons flying around like do they tell stories about like

I don't know like a like a guy with anxiety you know what's crazy because that's fiction to them it's the idea of like we tell stories about people who do like fucking like oh Spider-Man isn't that fantastic but like I don't know like I feel like it would it's like what else do you have to make up if you live in a world that fantastic it's the idea of like is there horror movies

inside of the horror worlds like yeah yeah exactly yeah yeah Yeah, right. Or there's like there's no, there's no, no one's ever made a zombie movie in, in any zombie movie. Like, right. I mean, they definitely try to do that because that's why they usually never call them zombies. And every zombie movie universe, they call them something different because zombies don't technically

exist. So there's no zombie movies and shit, which is funny, which is a funny concept to think about like this entire time. No one's ever thought about things coming back to life and being like a, you know, something that would be entertaining them. make like oh bringing the dead back to life and all the sudden that too but it's also like zombie and like zombification like that's just a that is a thing that's like specifically a thing that happens like it's a word for a reason you know the zombie is I don't know what the

etymology of the word zombie is I don't know what came first like the fictional thing or like if it's like the real like the fictional thing is based off of like a real concept but like you have things like cordiseps like the stuff that the last of us is based on and That's very real. Are those zombies by definition? Yeah. Well, yes. They are literally zombies.

They are dead. They are organisms that are dead that are being piloted by a fucking, I mean, I guess, I guess it's technically an infection, but it's ostensibly a zombie. You know, the only thing that makes a zombie a zombie really is like the supernatural element. Zombies are created in African and Caribbean religions. That's where it came from. That makes sense to me. Yeah. If it would happen, happen on an island where fucking people were just insane.

So I don't imagine. The Caribbean thing especially makes sense to me because of some of those funerals that they have where they just prop the person up and they're like, it's just fucking weird. Dude, I'm entirely Caribbean. I'm very Caribbean. Like, multiple. I'm Puerto Rican. I don't want you posing me like a fucking Barbie and dancing around my corpse.

I'm very multiple Caribbean and I, none of the ones I am do that. Thank God. Yeah. Thank God. I think we got Christianity. That's why they Christian. It's known as, it's known as a Puerto Rican funeral, but I can tell you right now, I've never seen that. Because they Christian you.

I've been to my share of funerals. They took it out. All that other culture. They were like, give me that. Give me that. Give me that. That's culture I want God. Like, I don't want that.

I don't want that part of it. You know what's weird, though? The idea of, the idea of death, particularly. in every religion that's not like Christian and like American, they're very fine with it. Like death is not a big deal to many cultures. But for us, it's like the worst thing ever, which it is and it's really sad. But they're like other people like, oh yeah, that's this peace. That's just they're on to the next step.

They're fine. Meanwhile, us were like, fuck, dude, I'm so sad. And it's like so strange to me. It's like, what the hell? You could be fine with death? That's real. I think it's the contradiction that are, you know, Judeo-Christian society of where they try to spook you in saying that you're going to be tortured forever.

So that's scary. And then the prospect of living forever is scary. And what you're doing is kind of railing against because death is sad because in reality, it's like, oh, I'm never going to see this person again. So you do have some time to mourn. but you're also kind of lied to like, oh, yeah, I'm going to see this person again. I'm going to be hopping up in some cloudy shit or I'm going to be tortured together with them and all this stuff. So I think it's all this confliction, man.

I think it causes so much chaos in your fucking head to try to really understand and you can't really make peace with the prospect of death because you're not really sold something that truly makes sense and that you could be okay with. You know, like in other cultures where like, yeah, it's just a natural part of life. You know, we're going to prop these people up on sticks or whatever. and then whatever. It's just like, it's like,

it's like, it's just like a, I will say like, I will say like I'm personally okay with debt. Like I don't, I don't care about dying personally, like me. Like I just,

I, I just know that it's just gonna be nothing. And I'm fine with that. Like I don't, whatever. But like, other people dying. I mean,

obviously that's sad. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I'll do it right now. I don't give a shit, bro. Give me, give me $20 dollars.

You have no, you have no instincts at all. Like, I have, I have the, I have the instincts to survive. That's why I try to stay safe. So I drive very, you know, defensively. It's why I, um, I, I, I do things other than. I only, I only drive like this. I drive, like, a video, you job like in a movie, like in a movie?

I only drive backwards. I only drive backwards and way faster in the speed limit. I don't give a fuck, dude. Can you get way faster in the speed limit when there's, only first gear driving to reverse double the speed limit or nothing that's it though i don't imagine imagine a car with fucking like five gears in reverse like you can that's so dangerous you can go all the way you can go like fucking 180 miles just going reverse i feel like i've seen that on the taconic probably oh my god i i wanted to say i wanted i wanted to say something i wanted um

it just in case of our fans because this is still going on There's a bundle I just wanted to mention this for people This is on the on the website Humble There's a summer Capcom bundle If you spend $20 You'll get seven games dude

Like you'll get Monster on a World Devil May Cry 5 The Devil May Cry HD collection You'll get Street Fighter 5 Dragon's Dogma DMC A Street Fighter 4 Like you'll get

A shitloading games For what 20 bucks 20 bucks Wait where is this? It's on Humble If you ever I bought a couple of games of a humble before.

Yeah, I've gotten Humble Bundles before. Yeah. So this one right now, it's basically a over $200 value and you just spend $20. I've,

that is stupid. That is good. Yeah, so I was just want to let you guys know, definitely do that because, especially if you haven't played

some of these game before. Does this, is this on Steam? They're all Steam codes. Oh my God, the fucking 2008 2008 Bion of Commando. I actually like that.

Okay. I never played it. I never played it. But I haven't. I mean, don't get your hopes up. It's fine. You know what I mean?

But like, oh, they got rise. That's crazy. I'm going to have to pull up and do this. I, well, they have rise for 50% off.

So they'll give you, you can get, um, rise and, and, and ultra street fighter five or some shit for like 50% off. This is good as shit, dude.

It's a crazy bundle. Every, the, if you, if you do more than 20 bucks, I think the rest goes to charity. Um, but like,

I think $20 is the base value to get that, to get that, um, all the items. But it's nuts, man. Because, yeah, I don't, I didn't have, I've been holding off in the HD, devil me crying, the HD collection,

because it wasn't worth it. It was like 30 bucks. I'm not fucking playing that shit for 30 bucks or something. So, uh, yeah, it's literally now just a couple of bucks now. Yeah, that is actually like a really good fucking, that's a good deal, honestly. Yeah.

Yeah, right. So, yeah, so fucking. And then some of you people, if you play any of these, because they're going to be flying soon. If you already have these games, I mean, still gift them to people.

It's a fucking crazy deal. I don't have any of these. Yeah. But yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Someone wrote in.

He says, hey, varsity linebacker, marching band drummer, and anxie debate kid. What are your thoughts on Comtown or in just other podcasts in general? Also,

when's the Comtown across Snark Tank in New York City collaboration? Yeah. I wish. Yeah. I don't actually, I'll say,

I don't listen to any podcast. I listen to like the stuff that we do just to like kind of remember what the fuck we talked about. Or like just out of curiosity if there's like somebody, if somebody brings up something I say on sacred symbols, I'm like,

I don't remember saying that. I have to like comb through and like go through the fucking, you know, timestamps and all that. But like I'm not a podcast person. I do audiobooks primarily so that I can do other things.

Fucking nerd. Yeah, I know. I've listened to Flagrant 2 now. So I listen to Flagrant 2. I was in the critical role I said this in the more Joe Rogan again Just to see just to see like you know Like what like look

When he has a good guest on the podcast is fine Like I don't like I like I like I think especially 2021 Joe Rogan He was fucking up a bit His his his dribble game was not good He was not he was not on point But at the end of the day when I watched him on Flagrant 2 And I just saw him be able to

To just relax and be a... Because there's nothing better than comedians just hanging out. That's when they just get to chill and be funny with each other and fuck around, you know? And I think that was a very good light

to see him again in because it was refreshing just seeing him just talk to people and be calm and not like have to worry about everything he says because even now, I feel like everything he says like, this is gonna just... This is going to sway people in a way

that like I don't want them to be swayed. I just want to say what I think, you know? Well, I think he, I personally think he fucked himself. Like, he didn't have to, because even, he's had on controversial people back in the day, but people saw it as, oh, this person's weird. And it wasn't like a pattern where it's like there was that whole weird intellectual dark web thing that was happening. Or there was just a certain type of people that, you know what I mean? It's a thing he got caught up with.

And then he moved to Texas. He started hanging out. He started meeting up with Greg Abbott and fucking Descentus. Like the two, you know what I mean? Like, there's a pattern. of shit and it's like he's kind of delve into that stuff so it would be so much better if he reeled it back to start having on your fucking mixed martial artist having on your comedians having on interesting people so like when he did go on flagrant too i watched it and it was very fun it was him

just uh getting fucking andrew high as shit right it was it was good and um and so um angel was baked he was baked yeah he was he was fucked up so uh flagrant too i like flagrant too um i do listen to cum town um um They're actually one of the few patrons. They're the only podcast that I'm subscribed to as a patron because they have extra episodes per week. And I like them because they're just doing, they're essentially doing what we're doing, but infinitely lazier. You know, but they also, they just, there's a weird aura that they have that they're allowed to be lazy. They're allowed to do bare minimum and just, it's probably 70% gay jokes.

and it reminds me of just being 13 year old humor that I I guess I'm still, I say 13 year old humor but I'm in my 30s and it's still funny to me so it's not technically 13 year old humor you know what I mean

but I guess it starts when you're 13 Yeah so I would fucking love to Talk to those guys or whatever But it's kind of the same thing As most comedians They kind of only talk to each other There's like a weird like We're in this together

And I don't want to use the word gatekeeping but it's kind of like that where every guest they have is to help out their comedian friends they want to bring on the people that they're doing stand-up with. So as far as collabing, it's almost impossible.

You kind of have to be in that world in order to be in that space. And to be fair, and to be fair, I feel like they would be really responsive the second you step into that way. Like I feel like if you go on stage, right? Like if you go to the comedy store or something And you just like mingle a little bit Or you go to like flappers or something

And you do like a set I don't think it would be particularly difficult To like get in with these people Like but you have to do that You know you can't just be like oh I'm I'm off in my own world Let's hang out like no Like you gotta be in this world or not

It's Brendan Shob If you know I don't know if you're aware of Brendan Shob Chris and his whole His whole fucking bullshit shit. Just basically he's the guy that Joe, without Joe Rogan essentially humiliated him on

podcast because he was like, he was, he was kind of like not the best heavyweight mixed martial artist in the UFC. And Joe Rogan humiliated him as basically telling him to like stop doing it. You're not focused. You're in and out. You're not good. I think I don't think Joe had any bad intention,

but Joe was, Joe was just critiquing him. He didn't have bad intention, but no, nobody, you don't have a podcast that literally there is not one single time I can ever recall somebody having a heart to heart telling somebody hey I think you suck and the top of the tier people would fuck you up he didn't say he he was being very critical though he was being like I just don't think you got it like I don't think you got it he's telling that's basically telling somebody they suck that is without

saying the actual word say you don't have it oh how do you think you would do versus Kane Velasquez in a wrestling match and he was like uh Brendan Shob said, I think you'd be surprised. And Joe said, I think you'd be surprised. I think he'd fuck you up. And if you, everybody knows how mental fighting is, or almost everything you do, when you fucking destroy someone's confidence like that, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not going to recover from that. And when you're on one of the biggest podcasts in the world, when you're, or talking to one of the biggest podcasters, but I don't want to get too deep into that. My whole thing is, Brendan Shob, because Joe Rogan felt bad, because he does feel bad about

that. He's talking about this. He gave Brendan a large platform. He's been able to do things that most comedians would ever dream about doing. I mean, Brendan Schaubb's not funny. He's C.T. riddled. He's, he's, he's, he's terrible. There's a, I'm gonna review one of his. Yeah, he's CTE-Riddle. What does that mean?

He's C-T-E-Ridled. You know, when you get hit too many times in the head, you get C-T-E, like, like, OJ, and pretty much every NFL person and a lot of boxers and stuff, like their minds deteriorate, they go crazy. They kill and beat women and stuff. Like, it's, like, crazy stuff. Like, this is real shit. This is real shit, dude.

See, just look up CTE and NFL cases and stuff. It's, it's, there's, there's a correlation between, there's so many jokes talking about stand-up about being in an NFL, like, it is a requirement to beat women. You have to, like, you have to like start beating your wife or something. There's just stupid, because it happens so frequently. Anyway, fucking Brendan Schaub sucks. Go watch Brendan Schaub's latest special Gringo Poppy and tell me if this guy deserves to be associated or be considered the comedian. at all. Gringo poppy's fucking bad. It's fucking terrible.

It's so bad. So that's my whole point of like, if you do it right, if you grind, like say I've always, I know Chris, you've dabbled into it, you've done some open mics. Yeah. I never got to that level where I was kind of gearing up. I never actually sat down and wrote the material. It's just been floating around in my head because that's something I've always wanted to be into it and start to befriend some of the people that I look up to, man. I look up to like Tom Zegera fucking Seeing these people grind for so many years

Seeing fucking Bill Byrne Like these people are on the top of their game now And uh yeah Louis CK even though he's controversial But same same deal You know suing these scenes people like They were They were nobody knew who the fuck they were

Like a decade ago Unless you were in the comedy scene And now look where they are now It's fucking nuts And I love it And I would love to talk to these people I'd love to you know Try to chop it up with them

And shit like that And the Comtown guys Like um One of the guys Stavros, he just released a special on the 5th and did pretty well, man. It has already a million views. It's a fat Greek. I love

to get in that stuff, but I would do a freestyle. I would be like, yo, I'd go up there. I wouldn't write anything down. I wouldn't prepare anything. I would just fucking get high, drunk your shit, stumble upon the stage and just go for it. And watch I bring the house

down. It's fucking amazing. I mean, you might. Everyone's like, yo shit, Dave Chappelle. I was like, yo, he's the future. And I'm just up there fucking. I feel like if if we, if we did consistent like, and what I mean my consistent like, you know, a handful of live shows every year, I think we would, we would have that type of credibility that these guys are doing their show in front of live audiences. And like, you know, they are a comedy show. I think that that is, I think that would be enough to be like, oh, these guys are respectable.

and that they're not just a YouTuber because that's usually the thing like these people like oh you're not like don't call yourself a comedian you're just a YouTuber or something like I've heard shit I've heard shit like that and it's like yeah I mean it's true but you know these people are they making people laugh

they are I would say they are comedians but maybe they're not stand-up comics right I think there's a difference between a stand-up comedian and a comedian like there's a I mean you can say the same thing about comedic actors you know what I mean that's true like there's plenty of people who

I'm adding all these things to my Steam library Are you doing it right now? Yeah Because I'm going to forget I'm going to forget Like I know me But like I think I don't know like

I definitely wouldn't go out and be like I'm a comedian But like I would say more I'm like an editor Like a like a YouTuber are so weird Because I feel like this is like a negative connotation Kind of

When you say that but I feel like generally speaking I don't know I don't think it's that big of a deal that people call themselves comedians as long as they don't say like as long as they're that like they're not masquerading as stand-ups right you know yeah exactly

what's next everybody everyone listening please please go watch gringo poppy and tell me if this man deserves to have a special I mean he had a showtime special like three years ago or something that's show dog shit as well and everyone's like how the fuck does this guy have like a showtime

because of his connections but when you see how horrible the fucking set is you're that's the thing that would make you scratch your head like oh this guy is genuinely not funny what's happening this is this isn't I'm not even being a hater it's just oh this isn't funny I almost wish it was you know because I feel bad I almost wish it's funny it's not it's just bad I'm having a bad time this is a bad time. I'm not having fun. I want to have fun. I'm not. This is a bad time. It's not funny.

Make it funny. Oh, that's good shit. All right. Um, uh, you still, you got another question? Let's move on to, uh, a different one. Uh, uh, po, but, but yeah, sure, women get ran a train on and no one bats and I, but I do and suddenly I'm gay, wrote it. He says, hey, y'all sexy bastards. It's June, a.k.k. A.K. Pride Month. It's a person of the F word, I would I feel compelled to ask if you had to fuck one man, who would it

be in why? To keep it interesting, you can't say Keith David. We wouldn't, Keith David, I respect. Yeah, I wouldn't fuck you, David. Right. For me, for me off top, Henry Cavill. Right. We all, we run in, Henry Cowell running terrain on us, man. That's for sure. Off top. I can't remember what I said.

I feel like I didn't say that. You said like Boeherno. No, he's... No, I did not say Boehrana. That is insane. He's like Boehner of a shit. Oh, no, no, I remember what I said. I remember Timothy, Timothy Chalime, yeah. Oh, right. He's just, he looks kind of like that girl from stranger things.

He looks soft. Not Millie. I'm not Drake. You know, I don't call me on myself. The fucking, what's her face? Nancy. Who is, I just think so, she's so fucking gorgeous. Millie.

Really? All right. I mean, yeah, she looks like, she looks like, she looks like an old school model where she's like malnourish and shit. I like people with distinct faces, you know? Yeah, she's got a nice jaw on a giant forehead. She looks good. Yeah. She's a dragon ball character.

She's a nice jaw on a giant forehead. She's Vegeta. The fuck. She looks like a hot Vegeta. Yeah, Boma's got the same thing, right? Yeah. She's got a giant-in-air. All dragon ball chicks have like, all dragon ball chicks have tennis court for it.

They do? All of them? It's fucking ridiculous. They do. Their heads are huge. All of the women in Dragon Ball is so insignificant. So I don't pay attention to them. I want to see, like, Android, like,

18 and Bulma like just do like the head bashing like their fucking like their deer or whatever and it sounds like a little marbles getting hit against each other it sounds like it sounds like it shouldn't sound like that for sure these are definitely organisms right why do they sound like fucking why do they sound like why does it sound like somebody's dropping marbles down the steps the fuck is going on you NSC forward onto dong wrote it he says howdy shart stank what's a piece of media you refuse to engage with out of sheer spite. For me, it's Witcher 3. I'm so, because I'm so short on free time nowadays,

so a massive dialogue-heavy fantasy RPG is a hard sell for me personally. Cheers, fellas. I think, uh, I can't remember if I, what the fuck did we say? I guess he means yakuza. No, oh, for you, it's yakuza? Out of spite, do you? None of spite.

I don't know. I just don't know if I, I feel like, I feel like so heavily I wouldn't really like it. But there, I was at the same time as like, that's the shit I used to love, but I don't really have the same quite taste that I used to when I was younger. So like, I don't know. I'll play yakuza eventually. I'll give it a try. I'll give it honest. I think like a dragon's good.

But I think, for me, I think it might be Star Wars, actually. I think Star Wars has just gotten to the point where I just feel so overwhelmed by it and it's so ubiquitous and unavoidable that it's slowly becoming like imagine dragons almost where like I can't escape it now. Like there's like 40 shows None of them have been particularly good Like all of this new Disney stuff Even with the shows that people really like Like Mandalorian like I don't think anybody in their right mind Would even come close to the opinion that

Modern Star Wars TV Is as good as like Clone Wars I would say bad batch and Clone Wars are the best Bad Bad Batch was the new one It was amazing I thought it was so fucking good But no one I don't know.

And Clone Wars, obviously, the final season was like award-wittingly good. I think that fan base is also just like incredibly. There is no way to repair Star Wars for the fan base anymore. It is too late. It's gone. It's no matter what's made, no matter how objectively good it could be, no matter how good it could be, there is going to be so many non-fans shitting on it because it's Star Wars, fan shitting on it because it's not exactly what they see Star Wars as anymore.

And there's going to be like the small demographic people like me is like, oh, I just enjoyed this. But it's, it's, it's, it's, Star Wars means too many things to too many people now, whether it's good or bad now. It's too late. I made fun of, I made fun of, I made fun of Kylo's lightsaber recently. And the response to that was so funny. Like it was one of the funniest, like, I had never seen that many. angry people. And I saw somebody else get ratioed in the same way where it's like somebody they were

just like talking about Obi-Wan and how like this show like really fell apart real quick for me. And just 10,000 quote retweets. Yeah. And I'm just like it's just a person not liking the thing you watch. Like you don't have to like imagine if I

responded, imagine if I quote tweeted everybody who said Halo 3 sucked. You know what I mean? Like it'd be such a waste of my thing. You would gain a fan base. You would gain a significant fan base of all the fucking Halo lovers. It's just such a... Like, Chris Reagan's our champion. No, but it's just such a weird thing to preoccupy yourself with.

Like, I think Kylo Ren's lightsaber is a little fucking silly. I don't think it makes a lot of sense. I think it's very irresponsible. I understand that it doesn't have to. I understand that it doesn't have to because it's all about the aesthetic, right? It's stupid. It's a thousand percent of the aesthetic. That light saber is fucking.

That light saber is fucking. Fucking stupid. Chris, I think, I think, look, hold on, hold on, but let me just finish this. It's not even, like, I understand that Star Wars is an aesthetic. It's, it's about aesthetics primarily, right? So, like, it's fine. Like, that's okay. But for me, it's like, not only is that impractical and dumb, but I also just don't think it looks cool.

I think it looks cool from, like, the perspective of, like, a nine-year-old, which I guess is what Star Wars is for, really, if you want to be really specific. but like the whole like T crossguard with like a fucking lightsaber it's just like it's so damn silly looking it's so dumb it's supposed to take an inspiration from like a regular like a like a long sword like a broad sword no I understand the inspiration but it doesn't make sense it looks stupid of course it doesn't it doesn't it doesn't have to make sense I don't know I feel like I think it'd be badass if he had like a fuck it like I was thinking

like I was brainstorming with eyeline it's like oh well it's supposed to be like because those side things on Tyler's lightsaber are supposed to be like exhaust or something from the unstable crystal or whatever because it can't be contained in the one blade so it's like extended outside

who said that? Whatever. That sounds fake of shit. I don't know. I don't think it's like I mean maybe not but like the whole point is like if that's true.

I think it's just literally a cross guard I think it's literally just a crossguard. But that doesn't make sense for like the design of it. The idea is that that that light saber is an ancient design where they had those like that. Doesn't it make just a

as much sense as a fucking sword having a crossguard? No, it doesn't. No, because blades are flat. Lightsabers aren't flat. They're entirely... It's almost like a... You know how like fencing swords

have like the dome over the hand? Yeah, after the handguard. Yes. That's... That makes sense for fencing because the blades are more like lightsabers where it's not like... It's not like a flat thing

that's going to like swish to the crossguard. It's going to go in every fucking which way. Well, the problem with... The problem with the fact that the problem with that lightsaber is that that's light saber energy just being burned out of it like there's no need for a crossguard for a lightsaber because it's pretty much like a rapier and a

katana put together you don't need a crossguard for that you know well katanas do have barely they very barely have a crown like but what I'm saying is like but what I'm saying is like the type of sword that a lightsaber is the cross card that it needs is not one that goes in two very specific directions. It needs to be around the...

Yeah. It needs to be around the entire blade. You know, it doesn't... Because it's a cylindrical blade. But the thing... It doesn't make sense for it to have a cross card. I don't think... Because it's only like...

Because it's only going to be effective, like... Why would the cylindrical... 10% of the time? Like, what is the... What is the shape of the... Help me understand. The shape of the blade, of the saber. Let me put it.

What is that, what is that, when you're, because it's light, it just cuts through anything in this universe. Right, but it's, right, but if it's going to glide across another, like, if, if lightsabers can glide across, glide through one another, you know, not through, but like, along one another. Yeah. In the same way that a sword can, like, clash. Right. Then, let me put it this way. Imagine a sword has a blade that's, like, flat, right? Which is, like, normal.

Like, this is how fucking swords work. It's like a flat blade. Now, imagine the cross guard for this blade, if this is the flat side, is going from, you. here to here. You know what I mean? Like if that was the crossguard. There's a reason why that's not how cross guards are designed. Because that doesn't make sense.

Because that wouldn't protect you from a blade swishing down the blade and cutting your hands off. I mean... I mean, not... I'm not... This is very difficult to explain without like visual aid. Well, because like I'm just looking at it in a way that... Like...

Cross guards are meant to... follow the blade. They're meant to point in the direction of the blade. That's the point of the crossguard. In whose blade? In the opponent's blade? In your blade. Crossguard is supposed to be guarding your thing.

Like, when you have a crossguard, right, for what I'm thinking. So, like, this is what I'm confused at, like, say, so I have, I have the Zvihander, right, from Dark Souls. Right. Crossguard is, like, probably, like, sick. The Z-Hander, Z-W, you know, the, and then, so, like, it has, like, The main crossguard, which is like probably six inches on each side. And then it has the little bullshit. Like, I just imagine that stupid Kylo's lightsaber is, it's obviously not as big as Vihander,

but it's just some stupid-ass fucking broadsword. Even though it makes no sense to have a broad lightsaber sword because it's just light, so it's not even heavy. Yeah, yeah. So there's no point of Sween at heart or anything. But just, we already know it's about the aesthetic. But in theory, though, isn't it? like, it's

it being, okay, we already know it's having the light be protection, like it's acting like it. It's way more danger than it would be a savior. That's, but in theory, it could, couldn't it still fucking like if the lightsaber,

somebody else's lightsaber hits the cross guard in a specific angle, can it actually work as a defense? I don't understand. It's a specific angle, but like, it's so difficult to explain because it's, it's like physics-oriented. It's, it works perfectly in my head. But, like, there's a reason why cross-guards typically follow the direction, point in the direction of the sharp ends of the blade. And it's because when you clash swords, that's how they'll typically fall alongside.

Like, if you're going to slash a blade down somebody's sword, typically you're always going to be at some sort of angle, but it's going to glide down the sharp. the not sharp end of the blade. I understand what you're saying now. And hit the cross guard. But when you have a blade that is, but when you have a blade that is fatal in every direction, then you need a crossguard that accounts for that.

So you need like a... I totally understand what you're saying now. Yeah. I wasn't, I didn't know you meant like the crossguard is on the same side as the sharp ends. I didn't know that's what you were saying. Yeah, no, I...

It's a difficult thing to... I was thinking just like... In the direction of the blade, I was like, what, you mean like, they're facing... up? Like I didn't understand. I was so confused for a second.

No, I totally get what you're saying. It's so much more difficult to explain than it is to show, you know what I mean? But it's good now. I'm totally caught up. I'm totally caught up. And I know what you mean where it is for what happens when you clash with a blade just by, just by physics and how it would glide along.

I understand exactly what you're saying. Why a cross guard is necessary. I get it. That's why you either see, that's why cross guards are only ever like, you know, circular, could, like, protecting the whole hand or in the direction that the blades are cutting. You never see, like, a sword that's like... Yeah, you wouldn't get, you wouldn't get a...

You wouldn't get a domed fucking crossguard on like a fucking, on like a bastard or broadsword. It wouldn't make sense. Yeah, or, like, or even just a normal T crossguard, but like rotated in the direction of flat end. Like, it would make no fucking... See, the should have a spinning one. You just somehow have it, you wind it up and then it spins. But that's so dangerous It should just be propellers

But that's what makes it dangerous though The idea of like that That design is bad Because first of foremost If the blades clash and you run the blades down the thing You'll be able to cut off the top of the lightsaber For Kylo You'd be able to come to the part where it's

The part that's not light Can be cut off and you just have that That's why for lightsabers Lightsevers are they're literally like Rapiers and Catatollary Tanah's made of light. So all you have to do, so you can stab and you can swipe perfectly with it. That's what they're good for.

And Kylo's design is sort of reminiscent to the idea of like a very European sword with a hilt, which is stupid. And that was an ancient design that they had before. It is stupid. It's silly. It is stupid. I understand it. If you turn in, because here's something like I barely care about Star Wars. I do, but then I don't.

It's a weird thing. but I I care I haven't seen any the Disney Plus shit for example Like it's just I'm like I know some of it's good I just don't

I don't have time When I see Kylo Rind's sword I can shut my brain off enough To be like Oh it's a cool design Not in a way that like Mechanically or like I know if I start thinking about it

I'm like that's really stupid But I can look at it Just as aesthetically and be like Oh that looks kind of cool To me personally Personally I'm like that was cool I can see the Darth Malls

double-edged thing and be like that's pretty cool but I think was also stupid that is the dumbest thing like even even thinking about like that is infinitely more dangerous ever because it's like

if you ever have a spear right like even people who have spears that both have like at the end like a double-edged spear it's not the vast majority of its like sharpened and like it's like at the very ends of it

and most of it is like just the pole So you have almost no chance of wounding yourself. The idea of twin blades existing in general, like they could exist, but like the blades aren't most of it. The blades are at. Exactly. It needs to be like 20% of it. And then there's two blades at the end of the staff. At the very end of it.

Not the less of you can just fight like this with somebody. That is so, such a small margin of error where it's like, think about how good. Darth Mall has to be to fend off Quigone and Obi-1. Well, Quigone sucks. That's the problem. Quigon can't fight. Quigon can't. We're not getting into it. Obi-1 is the truth, though.

We're not getting into this. Obi-1 with a little bit of help should be able to beat Darth Mall. Like, come on. You think you would think. Yo, but I guess Quigon just got in the way. Get the fuck out of the way. Get out of the way, you drunken races. Hey, bro, he apologized.

Just calling Darryon. He's calling Duthwall the N-word. Let's move on. You, I can't tell if you're Indian or block. Let's go. Like, he's just, he's fucking. I don't tell which one you are, but I'm going to kill you. He hasn't.

And I'm going to murder you. All right, all right. Let's move on. Yeah, let's go. I love F-O-V sliders, rodent. He says, hey, New Yorkers and Derek, the only place I can get pizza by the slice for an affordable price is Costco. How much am I missing out on?

Costco pizza is bad. Yeah, I've been in places where Costco is unfortunately the best place you can get a pizza, but like, I mean, it's pretty, it's pretty bad. It's pretty bad situation. It's nothing of, I will say, I would say Costco is fancy little Caesars. Like it's just, the ingredients are just a little bit better, but it's basically the same type of taste to me. It's just, just better. I know what you mean. You know, because, yeah.

It's not, damn, man. I miss pizza so bad, man. that was the best part about being New York fuck seeing my family fuck seeing my family fuck seeing the woman that raised me from birth fuck but fuck seeing my my fucking goddaughter

and all this fucking shit that all these all these storylines that I had to close up because I left New York yeah fuck that pizza at any time of the night was the best part of it I'd go back in a heartbeat

I wouldn't see a fucking single person that I love and I would get pizza yeah I've definitely done that I've definitely flown to New York and just spent most of the time just in the city eating pizza. I think it's, Elon really,

I'm starting to think about like the hyperloop and how like, how excited I was when I was a kid about it. And like it just never happens. Of course not. If I could just, if I was living in L.A. and I could just like take a train to New York.

You get up, you get up, you end up in New York. You know how, you know how much the world would change? You know how much, you know how much, you know how much,

information would be switch change so fast dude that would be like that would be the start of the golden era yeah would that would actually democratize uh real estate also because at that point it's like you don't you're always you're always just you're always near something you need to be that would change minimum wage that would alter so many laws in the world about what you can and can't do certain places it would inherently mean that's why it doesn't exist that's why we don't have it yeah yeah exactly yeah yeah Literally. It would be too good for most people so we don't have it. That's the one billion percent. Imagine being able to go to Japan in an hour and a half. Well, I don't know about that. Like, that's, you probably still need to fly into Japan.

Nah, bro. You go underground. You're like, all right, go on your two-be. I would, I would not take a train underwater. I would. Nah, I can't. That's scary as hell. I think as long as it's, as long as it's been stable for like a decade. Yeah, I'm not going to go first. Of course. the usual rule. You don't go first. You go third. Like all these eighties that are using the self-driving car shit right now.

They're all like, ooh, they're fucking the prototypes right now. And I'm like, you guys are And then when the car turns into a bubble bean, you get fucking splatter. Do you get dismantle? Where's optimist? You've turned it a juice. Just bleeding.

Just this blood just pouring out of bubble bean. It looks like he's crying. Blood and fucking bone bits and tear it up denim. What were you saying? Do you guys do the thing that I do when you grocery shop where like if you look for something specific, especially if it has like an expiration date or of it can be tampered with, you always go for like maybe like the third one behind the first one that's facing?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You never go first. I'm not neurotic. Yeah. You got to get some of the stuff in the back, especially.

when you think about how disgusting people are, everyone's fucking touching everything. Everybody goes in itching their asshole, itching their asshole, putting their fists inside their asshole, and it touches it. Jesus, digging in their pants,

popping a hemorrhoid and then wiping it all over a fucking glass of them. Digging in their pants like he's searching for something. Like a dog trying to retrieve his bone. It just did it. Bro, I made the mistake. I bought some chips of Hoy cookies, right? I made the mistake of grabbing the first one on top. I got home.

That shit was already open. I was so fucking mad. Always. Did you scream? Did you scream? It's always got to be a rule. Always. Always go for the third one.

You don't want to go for the one that's like, it's weird. You got to go for the middle specifically because that's the least fucked with part. Because like especially like when you're talking about like, especially when you're in a supermarket with like the fridges where like it opens from your side and And then like in the back, obviously there's the stock people who like put it in from the back. Like you got to go for the middle because it's like the least fucked with. Right. Right. Totally agree.

Advice from us to you on the here on the Stark tag. We try to help people. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. All right. Now we can go on to some some new stuff. Oh, let's do it.

This name that I can't fucking, I still don't. Like I can't, I don't know what, I don't know what your name is. I don't know how to read this. I mean, if you check the document. You can see it. It's very obvious which one. It is a bunch of hieroglyphics wrote in. And he says or she says or whatever it says.

It's probably that fucking dolly AI writing in. Why are you abusing me? Hello, bitch, black bitch, and blacker bitch. Would you all eat human meat if it was grown from a lab? bitch. Shut the fuck you. I'm not

answering your question. Dispect me like that. I would not eat human meat. Never.

Never. Never. Yeah, I have, I don't want to do that. I'm barely do you see this guy's name?

I can't. Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, fucking wingdings? It's some weird

alien language for sure. It's probably into aerial. It's probably from fucking Star Trek or some bullshit.

Yeah, I don't fucking know. It's bleeding into the other names too. I would not eat you I don't know if I'm barely okay with eating like

chicken and like beef that was grown in a lab You know what I mean? Like I would still rather I eat that shit I'm good fuck I eat it from a lab Whatever what's what's what's gonna happen What's gonna happen?

What is the problem? Look I understand I understand that this is going to sound really bad But I mean it so like I'm fine Being truthful with you guys I think because I've had beyond meat, I've had vegan meat, I've had, you know, scientific recreations of popular foods.

I think suffering probably helps, you know? Is that what you have? I feel like there's a taste that you lack when the meat doesn't suffer. Chris, I want you to know something really crazy. It is almost impossible. but you haven't even even food yet. It is almost impossible.

Well, cloned, well, no, but that's still an animal. Like, you've probably in lab me. They don't clone, they don't clone

slabs of meat. You've probably, you've probably in lab food already. Like, you're like, to think you haven't is probably silly.

Like, very likely you've probably done it and been like, man, this is the best, this is the best chickens that ever had in my life

and that shit never had a face. No, you can clone a chicken. You can clone a chicken and kill it. Like, it's fine.

But like, The point is like you're killing it. Yeah. I mean, look at the, I don't, I feel like I have to disagree with the suffering part. I'm exaggerating a little bit. But I feel like, but I feel like there is something weird. Like, even though like all the components are there, there's something missing in Beyond Me. Like it feels weird.

You know what I think it is? I think it's knowing that it's not, yeah, me is what really fucks you up. No, but I think so. But I've had people be, I've had people be like, hey, I got you a burger without telling me, right? And it's like, oh, it's not, they didn't tell me it was like beyond me. And I remember tasting, I was like, this is, fucking. It's definitely not because.

Oh, it does because it doesn't have the fucking fat from the animal in it. There's definitely different. Yeah. Yeah, there's a difference. But I will say one of my roommates, his girlfriend is vegan. So he's been having all this vegan bullshit in our fridge. And he made, well, they made a sub, meatball subs. And I got to say, other than the cheese, it was fucking delicious.

It was really good. But the cheese was fucking vegan. You vegan cheese, bro, remember we had vegan cheese? We had vegan cheese in our first apartment. You were like, yo, what the fuck is this? It looked like carrots. It looked like carrots shaped like cheese. Wait, what?

We had vegan cheese. It was me, you and Jalen. And we had vegan cheese. Why would we have vegan cheese? Because we were like, we were like, I wonder what it's like because Jalen picked it up or you picked it up or something like that or someone gave it to you. And we ate it. We were like, yo, what the fuck is this? That I might have been, I might have been dating Barbara at the time because she's vegan.

Oh, right, right, right, right. So she probably had, yeah, what the vegan as she's? That would make sense. Look, I have no problem of veganism. I don't have no problem of veganism. I have no problem with, in fact, I hope one day. I think it's probably morally correct. They literally are on the side, ethically, 100%.

Like there's no argument against, there's no arguing against it. but once the what once the meat once they figure out how to get it to taste exactly like meat yeah then I'll be on board that's when I think the world will shift I totally believe that they can't do that bro

I don't much money's tied up in fucking agriculture they can do it they will they will they will overtake the vegan industry easily and it'll actually be probably better costly for them overall of housing these giant animals and shit, you know, it'll be, it'll be better for them overall. Yeah.

But then here's the sad reality is that those animals are going to go extinct. Yeah, that's very true. That's very true. Cows are going to be like, chickens are going to go extinct. Cows might exist though. Because they're after important. But that's such a, what a cruel irony that is, though, that like the only reason that these animals have survived so long is because we can't stop killing them. That is so crazy.

And then we made me straight up judo chop their fucking heads off. A chicken is like, why I just had my babies. Today's a good day. And some fucking bumpkin comes in, takes a knife, he hapitates him. Well, the fucker gets a huge scimitar just slices. It's a scyth, bro. He's praying with it. What's the matter, son?

With the sight. Twirling it. What's the matter, son? You've hardly touched your pork face. What's the matter, son? And dire, just like it just died like all. It's just the most horrifying. It's just a flat pig's face on a plate, no seasoning, no sauce, no nothing.

What's the matter, son? You've hardly touched your friend. Remember him comforting you when you were sad? Remember this? Remember this animal being your friend? Remember you feeding it? And it walking up to you and looking at you adoration and it got excited when it saw you? Remember it ran into your arms the day you killed it?

you killed it. You fucking, you fucking gutted its belly and then the litter of pigs came out and then you fucking threw them in the friar. As that, you see that video, you see that video of the prawn

or like the fucking, it's like a crawfish or something. He's like, he's crawling up to a frying pan and just falls it and sizzles. It's so fucked up. It's so fucked up. People that do shit.

I would feel, I don't care about that because it's a roach basically. Did they finally, I think there's laws now, against cooking, at least in America. I don't know if this is true. I just heard that there's laws against cooking crustaceans alive.

Like you have to kill them humanely. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. They don't have eyes regularly. I can't see it being sad. Shut up. It's not about it's being sad. It's about it being in agonizing pain before it dies,

which probably makes it taste worse. Because you imagine. In fact, in fact, I've heard, I've heard this. most farmers that farm like very exotic like wigoo and shit like that they make the animals have a good as life as possible for they kill them i've heard that time and time and time again well because it just makes sense the the stress hormones and everything and straining and stuff if you're in dire agony before you die there's no way you're going to taste better there's no way you're going to taste better so like i feel like stressed bison have you had a bison burger before you ever yeah i love bison burger God, it's delicious.

It's very lean. I'll say that. It's very lean. Like, at least the way that they package it. Yeah. I like personal.

I haven't had it a long time, though. It's been like probably, like, yeah. At least like nine years. Oh, it's pricey.

If you want to get a pound to buy since, probably 10 bucks. I would always order it from like a, like a restaurant or something. Like, oh, I see,

I see. Yeah, I think they had it at like those chains, like Ruby Tuesdays had him. And I remember, like them being pretty good. For me, my thing is this.

Now, this is one thing. That's one trait that I've developed. For food. Oh, no. For food. Whoa, other than that, I've developed this feature. I wasn't born gay,

but I developed gay. If you're gonna have food and spend the money on it, if you want to have good food, spend money on good food. Don't eat cheap because eating is one of like the, one of the most true luxuries, I feel like. Like being able to eat when you,

you're hungry because I've been hungry and not been able to eat and that is the worst experience ever there's nothing worse than that dude it's so bad when you when you're going to get food when you're when you're buying food when you're eating you spend the money on it don't trip about it just spend the money enjoy your food and then go on like that's one of the few things I say be splurge on food and air conditioning those are the two things that you should splurge on in existence That's me as well. Growing up in fucking houses where they would be stingy with the AC or no AC at all, man. It's the worst thing when they fucking...

Growing up in New York City, bro, and they don't turn the heat on when it's fucking freezing. Anyone that has experienced that, bro, that will make you jaded. That's why New York is full of... That's why inner city is a full of crime. Those motherfuckers will see it's like, oh, it's been snowing for 13 hours. And we're not turning the heat on. The motherfuckers are shivering and thinking about killing. That's all they're doing.

It's crazy. Like, we would only have the heat on in November and December. And then January to the, from January onward, it was just like, you'll be fine. It gets the coldest in January. Well, I know. But, like, for some, dude, it was so bad. Like, that affects your brain psychology to an insane degree to the point where it's like, now. That is like, I will keep.

I will keep heat and fucking air conditioning running for as long as I fucking want. I'll see that electric bill. And I'll be like, ah, fine. Don't give the shit. Exactly. It's like that electric bill, whatever that electric bill is worth it. Because like there is no feeling like maybe just genuine hunger. Those are the two worst feelings.

But like, but being in like a house that's too fucking cold or too fucking hot is. so painful. Like just being in like a comfortable temperature is like so ideal. It's just being like mentally okay. There's nothing worse in trying to sleep in uncomfortable temperatures, bro. That is the worst feeling other than genuine hunger. And I guess like real bad depression maybe. I'll skimp.

I will, I will, I'm not going to lie. I'll skimp on food if it means I don't have to see my breath indoors or sweat the whole day. You know? Like that is. So bad. I'll go food. I'll go food over that. You remember?

Do you remember when we were living? Well, it's me especially, specifically, in Glendale. Because when we lived in Glendale, my room just didn't have AC. Bro, right now. It was just not. We were at the top of our building and my room was like facing like an open thing. It was like an open like parking lot. So like the sun would beam down on our apartment into my window.

And then we had one air conditioner. It wasn't central air. So it would just beam through the rest of the house and the layout was, was, you remember the apartment. Of course. You remember the apartment, Derek. Yeah. That's what we first met. We all first met each other.

Yeah, yeah. Well, that was also like, I remember like a specific photo when I was packing because you and Casarra there were there. Right. Right. I think it was around VidCon or something. But like that layout was just like the air conditioner just skipped by my room. Sweeney, you would come in there often and be like there's a genuine like 10 degree temperature difference. And right now that's my current room in our current apartment where my room is 20 degrees hotter.

Like every time I'm recording you guys don't see that There's this fucking Humidifier on or else I will sweat Till I die And it's so fucking bad and now I'm at the point where It's your PC right it's cooking your room right Your PC's actually doesn't get that hot Because I look at cooling and shit like that it doesn't get too hot

But it's just the fact that my lights are on Because what are my lights I won't be able to fucking like I'll look all muted I'll look like the creature from that photo So like I need my lights and my lights for some reason, this room burn me the fuck up. So I have to have my AC on. And I'm so, like, I see the bill and I'm like, I don't care.

And now the next place I live, when me and Lily get a house or the next apartment we move to or wherever, it has to have central or else I'm not living here. I refuse. I'll have it installed even. I'll pay them to have it installed. It's so necessary, dude. It's so, especially in Los Angeles. But like, I feel you, man. Right now it is 83 degrees in my room.

And right outside my door, it is 72 degrees. So, you know, once I, I'm excited to open the door. Because my, my PC heats up my room like crazy and my monitors and shit. It's, it fucking, and now I have a studio light on. So, yeah, it gets way warmer. And I'm so excited to, when we're done to open the door and have the fucking just all that cold air rushing. That Russian is a normal. Quick, quick, quick advice, Kingston, because you have liquid cooling.

Be careful when you move. Oh, yeah, I know. I know. I only lift it up. I only lift it up and I don't like, I lift it up and I drag it forward slightly and put it on top of things. I don't move it very often. It's so sensitive. Like, I remember like when I was first moving when I was like packing all my stuff up and I couldn't fit my PC in a box. Like it was so big. Damn. Like there was no box big enough to fit it in. It was just like, it was always like just too big. And I put it in a box and I was like, oh, fuck it doesn't fit. And then I put it out and I put it back and like the liquid cooling got all fucked. Really? Just from like putting it in a box and taking it out.

I traveled with this and I moved with this. Because apparently like bubbles, bubbles form or something and you have to get it. I just switch to fans. I just fill my fucking thing with fans. I don't care. My, like I'm not dealing with that shit.

It works so well for me. Thank God. Praise God. It works so nice. It was working well for me for a while until I had to like really move it. But yeah, I don't know. We got to, let's do one more. Gotcha.

We got one more. Uh, p, pah, magma, ma'amat ma'a, ma'amat ma'a, ma'amat. He says, Mickey Mouse is only a few years. away from entering the public domain. That's crazy. Are you excited for the madness? As an example of what the public does with IPs,

check out the Winnie the Pooh slasher film. What is that called again? The Winnie the Pooh. I don't know. Poohed? Food. Was it Winnie the Pooh? Blood and honey.

That is so fucking cool. I love that. I love that that's real. But, yeah, that's going to, that's, I'm pretty stoked about that. I wonder how that's even possible, though. Like, I understand that things expire, like, trademark-wise, but, like, how the fuck does Mickey Mouse...

How is Mickey Mouse going to enter the public domain? It's going to be... I mean, they've been trying to fight it for a long time. I still feel like they're going to still pull some last-minute bullshit to delay it again. Yeah, if anybody could do it, it's them. Yeah. Yeah, they're the only ones who've been able to fucking do it for this long. Like, just like, no,

Nope, nope, nope, nope, no. I'm like, dude, it's been fucking forever. I can't wait to see all the fucking fucked up way to poop. Well, not we need to poo, but all the fuck of fucking. I'm waiting to see what, uh, meat canning comes up with. You know what I mean? Oh, man. You can do some, you can do some good shit.

Oh, yeah. It's going to be a good time, brother. I wonder if, uh, I wonder if when Bugs Bunny goes public domain, he'll post that, uh, he'll post that. Oh, right. He'll post it again. That'll be fucking sick. That'd be so good. Yeah.

Uh, that was actually a short one. Let's, let's find, one more. Let's find one more question in this sea of things. Mitch McConnell's tortoiseshell wrote and he says, Hey, Snark Boys, hope you're all doing well. Recently I started playing Pokemon Go again and it got me thinking. Has there ever been a game or show that you set down for a while and you come back and it's wildly different?

Yes. Now it's like all of them. Like this is recent, but I just jumped into Fortnite again because I found out that they had like, Fortnite. Fortnite! I found out that they had a no build mode where people can't build.

And like I hated the fucking building shit. Like I hated the idea that like, oh, I'm playing what is ostensibly a first person, not a first person shooter, but like an arena shooter where I'm like looking for equipment and power ups and fucking weapons on the map. And somebody gets themselves in like a bad position

and then they could just be like, no, just kidding. I'm going to build a fucking 10 story mansion. so you can't fucking find me. I hated that shit. So I found out that they got rid of it. So I was like, I'll jump in.

It's free, whatever. And it's way different than I remember. You get like slide. There's a specific thing that I was so enamored with. That I'm so happy that it's in there and I wish more games had it where if you down somebody,

if you down an enemy, you can pick them up and just abduct them. I think that's hysterical. Literally every time, Every time I down to I'm like yo get her bring it to the room Bring it to the room Grab her grab her bring it to the room We would just grab people run into like the nearest building

Lock the door and just execute We were just like throw them into dumpsters And throw a grenade in the dumpster Or we would throw them off buildings So helpless is so fucking funny It's griefing bro That's just grieving But it's so funny

It is it is grieving but it's so damn funny Like that is that's such a good idea It's funny We've been playing for a night and like, I've been having fun to the point that I want to play Fortnite where I'm like,

oh man, I'd like to play Fortnite today. It's fun, man. It's, I, even when I was playing it early, I was,

like, before the no build stuff. I was like, there are parts of this that I like. I just hate this fucking incredibly autistic build mode. I hate this.

Like, especially when you watch people like, who are pros at it, who just like, it's like you're watching it. It's like an epileptic trigger thing, where it's just like,

it doesn't look fun. It's, it's, It doesn't look fun. It doesn't look like, it's like watching people play Dota 2 professionally. Like it doesn't look fun. Yeah. Like at that level, I'm like, what is this?

What am I, what am I watching? It's just key binds and autism, bro. That's exactly. It's exactly that. I'm like, that doesn't fun. See if this is another one. See if this is another one that constantly changes. There's always like new shit in there.

Like, I really, live service. In general, they, games as a whole, just kind of, that's just kind of what they do. but I might finally jump into uh because I've been waiting so long for elder scroll six I might finally jump into old scrolls online because they've been dropping so much content consistently and then they were like selling it for five bucks or some bullshit to just jump into it I tried it when it first came out and I was like this is not Skyrim and then I turned it off but it's been yeah it's been this isn't Skyrim let's do it all along I think I did the exact same thing same thing too

I was like, this is in Skyrimo. I'm like, maybe it's good now. It's been so long. I'm like, you know what, dude? I think I'm going to jump back into that shit. Because it's been years since I played it. It's still not Skyrim, bro. You're going to be disappointing.

I'm like, oh, this is. Yeah, probably. I've heard it's good, though. Like, I've heard like once you get into it, it's pretty good. But like, it's just MMOs. I don't have the time for proper MMOs. It's not Skyrim. So I'm not playing it.

It's not Skyrim. Give me Skyrim. Give me Skyrim again. Skyrim. Imagine. Imagine Skyrimos are like Imagine Skyrim, but every time you took a break, the world continued

without you. And you came back and then you just didn't know what the fuck was going on because you didn't log in once a day. You know, like, that's MMOs for me. And I'm just like, uh, I'd rather have like an RPG that I can just kind of jump into whatever I want. That's so true.

Would you guys be excited if Elder Scroll 6 was Skyrim 2? Or would you be annoyed? I would, be totally stoked for that honestly. I feel like if they need a new engine, bro. They need a new engine. If they made, if they got a new engine and they like, that's not going to happen. That's not going to happen. Well, here's a, well, I, I'll say this man, like, some of the stuff, like, it's always, you always have to take these things with a grain of salt, but if they deliver on what

they're talking about delivering with Starfield, that's kind of insane. I just want a new engine, man. I hate that they all play the same way. Like, just update it a little bit. Update a little bit, a little bit, a little bit around with that. I actually, I actually don't mind that they play the same way. They won't do it because most people don't mind. Kind of like the Souls franchise or the From Software Games, they all kind of operate basically the same.

I would say very particularly, Dark Souls, they're all basically the same. One, two, and three, and Eldon Ring are very, very, very similar. But Ghost and Sechna, not Sechna Ghost, that's not a fucking firm game. I know what you mean. But Sechiro and Bloodborn are not the same. They are different games. Yeah, Sekiro and Bloodborn play noticeably differently.

And the Eldon Ring is the most, they just add more mechanics of the Dark Souls game. Dude, there's more mechanics. Elden Ring is just giant Dark Souls. It's literally. It's giant Dark Souls. But that's not a bad thing, though, I guess, you know? The thing with Bethesda Games is like, I don't think they need a new engine. I just think they need to do better.

I'm tired of how they move and how they punch and like I'm tired of that shit. I want more fluid running. I just want more fluid. I just want more fluid running, bro. And I want to be able to run and jump actually. I just want a good RPG. That's all like I don't like for me it's like to me complaining about like specifically like, oh, the gun play or like the parkour system in like a fallout game to me is kind of like

being like, oh man, the shooting in Cotor sucks. It's, yeah, it does. No, but that's not what Cotor's about, you know? But so many engagements are based on shooting and running and jump. Like, if you could just run and jump out of running, instead of having to do literal tech in an Elder Scrolls game, that'd be fucking great. I have to use my finger ability. I have to wave dash to actually jump out of running in Eldersk girls.

Instead of me just jumping. Normally, and it makes me so... Like, I just wish they modernized it a little bit. Like, they went into the farm, they just went into it. They were like, all right, let's just add a little bit more fluidity and everything. That's all. A little more fluidity. Yeah, just more polish, I think, would go a long way.

Right. Think about the Dragon Age franchise, though, when they... Because I personally think Inquisition has a very good combat system. Amazing. But there's a lot of people that are so used to, like, the Codor and Dragon Age origins, And they hated number two. They hated because it was just hacking and slash. And then they fucking, they're so like, I think they did a great balance in Inquisition.

But there are so many people that are like, man, man, I feel like they would do the same fucking thing. You know, especially since every Bethesda game is literally the same. If they did something different, people would be like, man, even though it's better. Even though it's fucking better. It's smoother. It plays. It's different. It's fresh.

People are like, I want my shit to look like Gumby. I want him to move like Gumby. So I miss that. I miss that. I miss that. try to argue people are people for real to my face argued me argued that dragon age origin dragon age origin's game plays better inquisition i'm just like that's so fucking stupid you're so that's so you are incapable you're incapable they're there there better better is a subjective term and better is doesn't really exist but there's a term

i think when it comes to there's objective subjective subjectivity that's where i exist where it's like if everyone's saying it's better if this is is objectively moving smoother. Dragon Age. You know what it's like saying drag. Go ahead. You know,

go ahead. I was just going to say it's like, it's like saying the model T objectively runs better than a fucking modern day car. It's just like, it's like having the audacity to say, I love this simplistic bullshit

compared to something that has way, that's way more fluidity, way more horsepower, way more, like everything. It's so stupid. I love this stupid thing to say. This simplistic.

bullshit it's it's so like dude I can fucking oh man it's the final battle it's the final battle

fucking dragon age origins and finding that stupid ass dragon whatever I'm gonna just press engage and then go make a sandwich literally

that's pretty much literally I think the story's amazing I think dragon age origins one of the best RPGs ever ever it's so fun

but but the gameplay one you're not there for the gameplay exactly And I admit that and I understand that. And that's a thing.

Well, that's, that's, that's what RPGs typically are. Like, even in, even in tabletop, you're not there for the game play. Well, no, you are. Like, it's not. Even tabletop. You are there. You're there for the systems. Like, the, like, the gameplay and, like, a tabletop is more about the systems and the

skill checking. Well, that's not really game. That is, it's not gameplay, like the form in which someone goes and makes some mechanics for a game and you're not to play it. But that's the gameplay, you know? Like, the, the, the, the way a rogue play. plays the game is the rogue's gameplay. The way a range is like that.

I understand what you're saying, but like it's different in the sense that like, you don't play Fallout in the same way that you play Doom. You know what I mean? You don't play Skyrim. You don't play like Cotor in the same way that you would play Jedi Fallen Order. You know, there are different reasons to play games like Cotor.

Like Cotor, if you're playing Cotor for the gameplay, fucking help. Get help. Put them down. because Cotor plays like ass. Like if Cotor plays like like dirty, dirty pussy. Like it's disgusting.

It's such a fucking terrible gameplay. Dirty, dirty, dirty pussy. I'm fucking losing my mind. I'm losing my fucking mind here. But the story. You beat Cotor, right, Chris? No, because like, I ran into that game breaking glitch, remember?

Oh my gosh. But like from like, I play like, which I'm, I ran into a game breaking glitch where like I didn't have, I didn't have the, uh, I, I, I, I, oh, I wore a disguise. This is super early on in the game. With the Sith when you were in the Sith disguise. With a Sith. Yeah. I wore a disguise and I snuck in and then they killed me. And then I respond back before I went in, but the disguise was gone.

So like, I, I, I don't have like, I don't have like, I don't have the skills. Just, you can. My skills aren't allocated. You can get past that point. You've got to kill another Sith. Have fun killing another Sith somewhere or opening the street. No, but that's the thing. It's like, I could get past it, but like the way that I wanted to play the game.

It's a role-playing game. You know what I mean? Like, the whole point was that like, I wanted to do it this way. And then it just said, fuck you. I'm playing it right now. And I'm forgetting how long it takes to get a lightsaber again. And I'm like, fuck, dude. This is like four.

Oh, right. It's like six hours a gameplay before I get a lightsaber. Shit. And then you get a lightsaber. bring you're like fuck dude my life's weakest shit compared to what's her names fuck dude I'm weak I might play Cotor on switch because I feel like that's probably it's so good on switch and it works yeah that's what makes it and it works and it works that's their selling fucking boy it's yeah hey it works yeah the PC version's

fucked the backwards compatible Xbox version runs really really well but it has that that bug you gotta get it you gotta get it through fucking I got I got the Nexus patches. It works. It works well if you put some Nexus patches on it and just, and maybe you just overhaul it. And to where I was playing it enough to where I was actually impressed with the graphics. And I was like,

I need to, I need to fucking switch it up because now I'm starting to be impressed by this fucking, the lighting. I'm like, oh, wow. This looks pretty. The lighting and Cotor looks amazing. It looks a cardboard with a,

it's a cardboard box with a happy face drawn on it. It's fucking terrible. I played, I played Fall in Order right after it. I was like, could you imagine, could you imagine, I imagine you thought that video games got as good as Couture, like, graphic-wise.

There was a time. And then someone brings you, like, fucking Red Dead 2, and you die? You probably would die. You just die. He probably would die. I specifically remember my friend playing Metal Gear Solid 2. He was like, dude, it's never going to get any better than this. Like, you was so impressed with Snake's face.

He was like, holy shit. You know, I remember that is big. Bad Snakes' sweet. I remember. I remember being a kid and thinking Spider-Man PS1 looked amazing. And that's the worst-looking version of that game. Bro, I thought, I thought. Like, Black Cat in that game looks like a Lego.

Dude. Like, it is the strangest fucking character. I remember Smasch 64 and thinking it was gorgeous. I remember, I remember that. And I look back at myself and I'm like, oh, yeah, obviously I'm retarded. Like, duh. Obviously, I'm like... Laura Croft's tits didn't look like triangles to me.

They looked like tits to me. Like I remember my head was confused somehow. Like we were trying to find the code that obviously never exists where you can get her topless. Yeah. When she's swimming, you're doing the swimming stuff in her like in her like gazebo area. I remember that. She would live. And it's like looking, why would you want to see that?

Why would you want to see triangle tits? Like that wouldn't do anything. Because it's all you had. That's all you had. It's all we had. It's like the both. It's not like now where if I want to see everything I could ever want to see, I just go.

That is everything I've ever wanted to see is seconds away. You know, you guys remember the fucking Street Fighter Five showcase where, where fucking Chunley's tits were just jiggling like fucking dead or alive. And they said, oops, that was a glitch. And like, how did, how does it? And the culture was mad. The culture was like, how, don't take this from me.

Don't take this from me. I was like, okay, first of all, that's not a glitch. That's fucking, that's physics, that's dead or alive physics that they probably accidentally forgot to turn off. And then, of course, they were just like, fuck. Like, we have no choice. The Americans are demanding us to turn off. And it was so upsetting because they were jiggling just as much as Dutter Alive 1, which was,

I mean, if you, man, if you read the reviews of Deter Alive 1, we're like, this game's really impressive, but everyone, I don't know why their chest is jiggling so much, That shit reminds me of that fucking idiot that said, why are these butt shots of Miranda? Miranda Lawson and Mass Effect. Like, why would they do this? We're going to remove them. They're asking the question why.

And I'm like, are these people, do they not have any sex drive at all to have to ask that question? These titties are jiggling because people like jiggling tits. Miranda's ass is showing because men like asses or people in general. Everyone likes asses. It's just so weird that The outrage over that stuff Compared to like

Oh yeah, why not You could Do so, there's so many Violent games out there that are like Awesome by the way that I love That are wonderful But like you could go into fallout And shoot a person's body

All away from their head You know Like you could You could not only kill these people you could drag them and like fucking like put them in a trash can. And Red Dead Redemption too. I made it my mission to kill people that had good horses. I would find them,

lasso them, kill their horse in front of them, and then ride them with my horse till they died. That was what I did. That was like how I played the game. Like I played it in front of Lily one time and she was like, what the fuck is wrong with you? And I was like,

It's not, isn't it funny? This guy had like a fucking beautiful, beautiful black stallion dude, Max, stats, everything. And I was like, oh, that's cool. Hogtied the motherfucker. Made him face his horse. Shot it with a shotgun. You're such a, I mean, look, I can't really, I can't, I can't really, I can't, I can't, I can't, condemn you because I do hoard mode where, you know, you get the cops.

So there's the first gun shop and the first talent. I forgot what the first town's called. The first time you show up in, there's... It's not strawberry. It's not strawberry. It's, uh, it's,

I can't remember, but like, is it's, no, strawberry is where you save Micah. It's, uh, strawberry is the last place,

I think. Yeah, this is like the first one that's like populated, you know, and so there's just like a little gun shop. It's a great place to hold up. You go in the gun shop.

So you kill the, kill the, kill the owner. And so the cops show up. Valentine. Valentine. That's it. That's it.

That's it. And then the, the cops show up and they don't stop showing up. And I'm telling you, the memory, it's good. It can hold probably about 30 bodies in one location before they start disappearing. So there is just a mountain of bodies of cops piling up to the point where the cops are stepping on top of the piles trying to kill you. They're just using them as mounts to get the high crowd. It's the funniest shit ever.

They used to happen in, they used to happen in Grand Theodore 4 too. I used to do that all the time. Oh, absolutely. I would like, I would like just, I would like just unload in the street and then like run into a hospital. A hospital corridor was the best place to hold up. Dude, yeah. It would be so funny. It was so funny.

But if you saw, if you saw your kid doing that, you'd be like, yo. You know, what are you doing? It's funny. I got these pictures and people are like, yo, this doesn't look okay. Bro, it made it funny. I would do that shit and I would always hope I would get the fat black cop. And I'd call him Carl Winslow and I'd shoot him every. I would get it was I was I was literally like dude that era of video games for me like there'd be moments where in Resident Evil 5 where me and my friend would torture Wesker where we would make him catch a girl he would catch the rocket and should know the one I mean he'd fall down and went up to him we would start stabbing him we would start stabbing him and then he would get up eventually and it was one time that we did so much.

damage to him that we went and ate dinner and came back and he was still on the floor. And he were like, get him. You stab him a bit. Yo, he started stabbing him for like 30 minutes laughing. Laughing your asses off. That was the, Resident Evil 5 is the only game that I remember where I skipped a whole portion of a fight. Like a whole cutscene didn't happen because of how much damage we did him.

Because if you beat the game under 10 hours, you get the infinite rocket launcher. And we were just rocket launching him the whole time. We weren't even try and engage him. We got to the point we would know if he would dodge at a certain point. So we get him in a situation where he would dodge and the rocket would blow behind him and still damage him. We were fucking monsters. That's good.

That scene that seven minutes scene where like you have to fight him for seven minutes. Yeah. Yeah. Because I always wondered how people, because I got the game before. some guy sold it to me illegally meaning before launch he was like hey I'm not supposed to do this but like whatever so he's probably quitting I'm imagining

you already had it on the shelves and shit and so I got to play it a week before it launched and I was seeing these fucking Japanese scores where there had speed runs under like 10 minutes and I'm like there's a scene where you have to fight Wesker for seven minutes how do you get around that I guess they

figure it out. You fight him for seven minutes You fight him only for seven minutes And then you spreeed through the rest of the game in fucking three And I guess that that literally makes no sense to me like dude I have tried to get past it I've never looked up speed running on that Because uh YouTube who I wasn't fucking really watching YouTube that thoroughly in Yeah yeah I was a demon

I'm gonna look at up no I was a I I I oh my God the amount that I would hurt I would just tase the zombies instead of killing them But that's that's that was so much better Rezier because it was That's also like, I'm playing siphon filter now on the PlayStation Classics thing, and like, there's a taser in that game where you could just tase people until they die. It's really so funny. But, but like, yeah, like, that stuff's way crazier than like, oh, tit's jiggling.

You know what I mean? Like, it's very, it's such a bizarre thing, dude. Right. To complain about that shit. It was like, it was like the, there was a gay couple kissing it, the Walking Dead. And then they're like, oh, my, my. kids watch this show. Like there was literally like people complaining about

I think that was after Glid's head got bashed in too. I saw a tweet. I saw a tweet. Balancing off the back of Glenn's head is fine. No, but you don't understand. That's realistic.

And homosexuality isn't. Homosexuality isn't. Tumority isn't. Is an impossibility to these people. It's so funny, bro. I love. I love it. ignorance, bro. I love it. I love ignorance. I love ignorance. I love ignorance.

It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. Holy shit. What do we are? So we wrap this up? Yeah, let's wrap it up. We're, we're two and a half hours. Let's wrap it up. Yeah, it's good. It's a good little catch up, you know. Thank you guys for stopping by. Listen to our little episode. Remember to rate us on iTunes if you can. It really helps us with the algorithms and all that stuff, like, like, comment, subscribe, all that stuff. It does help. It really, I know it's like one of those things

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Get rid of the end of the show, which I will now do. Three, two, one. Thanks for yesterday, Chris. Your ass is the tightest I've encountered, X-O-X-O, X-O, that guy from the bars. Jokes. Jokes on you. I went to eight bars. I don't even know who you are.

Fuck. Genius. Dom, get a fucking beer glass. It's Viagra Falls in this pitch. Damn. Oh, man. With a hundred, a hundred-dollar pledge. Damn, thank you, dude.

for your squirting. Thank you so much, man. You squirting. I appreciate it. Yeah, thank you for. Avi, Chris Reagan, professional ass sniffer. If you want to hear Chris drop an N-bomb, go to 51 seconds into YouTube Heroes Censorship the Game.

YouTube Heroes Censorship the Game. Oh, yeah, I probably did. King of Hapazard. Old school YouTube. Old-school YouTube, yeah. That was when I was breaking all the community guidelines, I think. I was like saying everything that I could do. All right, when they did some YouTube.

Yeah. I had a video. I had a video called Breaking the Community Guidelines, and it was, like, exploding, and it, like, got on trending, and then, like, after four hours, the views froze. Yeah. But it was so funny, but it was so weird. Anyway, King of Haphaazard, I'll mention you again at the end,

because it's tradition. Aetherian, Alaska and Oilfield, Trash, Alstawal. Okay, you said it right, and $25 gets your name to sex thing ready to the show, which I will now do. And as always, rounding out our list, the King of Half Hazard. You guys suck. Antibus, Vaxivus. wielder of the enchanted bike lock

as quickly as he could Sonic guided shadow to the couch What did this to you? Sonic asked As he gingerly pulled off his shirt Badly brave Binkus Stinkis Blake 896 Chris Gate my Virginia hunting ass

Come man the man of come Come the DNA of the soul Comey cummy yummy summy inside my tummy Dead inside A lot of cumming dead inside Depraved McBooty warrior Bada Bobooty Debt to Hard

I feed I can't read this fucking language You people write Feed somebody forks And they fuck toasters I don't know what I don't Okay Detective Halligan's exorbitant

Pizza tab Downey McFrowney Drunken Doolahan Elsie Bray's pyramid scheme Ethan Teage First things first I'm gonna say all the words Inside my head

Just kidding We're not doing that shit again But I hope I got you for whom's doth the dom squirt he doth squat for thee uh fresh fecal fiesta jesus from the makers of they them pussy it's they them come fuck it automorbile uh fuck traveling overseas i'm trying to travel into her ovaries nice let's go almost almost that's almost good fuck you sweeney you idiot bitch fourth edition Best Edition. If you think otherwise, you agree that Lily isn't real.

Fun fact, the VA for James in Pokemon anime toured with Peter Frampton, Ringo Starr, and Leonard Skinnerd. Okay. I don't know what any of that means. Interesting. That's like a very bizarre... That's a fact that you... That's not interesting enough... That's like not interesting enough to be false. That's the fact you'd hear before you die.

Right. Okay. Like the guy that captured you would also fucking sow's birds together. would tell you that before he fucking blows your head up. Game Controler 25. George Hard R. Martin. Glasses are just real-life FOV sliders. Oh my God.

I don't like that. God is dead because Amber heard chat in his bed. Got my glasses off, but I wear contacts. parentheses I can still see. Hard hat skydivers. Hey boss wants Sween to know that his taste in movies is bad and Shangxi was as fuck. Huggard Derek, the movie theater manager.

I became a patron just. just and spent 25 bucks not to be able to come up with a clever name. I feel gay. Fuck you. I have PPSD. I love my dog. Nothing offensive. I just love her so much.

I was recently mentioned by name in a suicide note. KD ratio is officially over one now. If I had a nickel for every time Chris was on a podcast talking of alien fucking is bestiality, I'd have two nickels. Page two. I'm going to pause the name reading to take a moment to personally address you, Mark. Don't be alarmed, but you're not listening. John Strickland, Cremlin de Gremlin,

lobotomized Jesus and his merry band of figurenagets. You're right, you're right, you're right. Yeah, I told you. He argued that we don't, that phrase isn't said every episode. And I'm like, no, I say it in the names. He's like, no, you're lying. Why would I lie about that? Marcus Shorten, Mega Man X-8 guy and the lack of anything funny to say this time.

Melfis won Warlock's Hexplate supremacist who recently achieved Lichten. Merck's 1889, Mitch McConnell's Tortish Shell, Mojave Scribe. Nancy Pelosi killing a Palestinian with her massive tits. Pre-Ras. Richter 86. Ryan Lucese. Ryber 525 in the mystery of the sudden uptick and tomboy appreciation. St. Maxi. Shrinkus Funkledunk, the warlock who is using transversive steps. Sloshy Scout. Spongebob Square Tits. Steve Harvey Oswald. Sweenies clown pussy goes Hong Kong. Tell him Steve Dave.

Tevin de Black. The non-binary Galaxy Quest fan who has an Alan Rickman Funko Pop cum jar. The only stick I touch while driving is my penis parentheses I masturbate while driving. the unfortunate naming of NBA coach Steve Kerr's son, the Papini Brothers Emporium of Bullet-filled uncles, Wage Slate 5A3, wasn't an escalation but a brief moment of levitation. We've known each other for so long. Your heart's been acting. You're too shy to say it, parentheses, say it.

What if JFK's head just did that? Your favorite Martian is back. They are. They're back tomorrow, right? They just put out a song today, I think. I'm so upset. Zach Cool Number. That name that I can't read because it's in hieroglyphics.

The first search of Keith David, tis the season to be gay. Obie won't you blow me? And mentioning, as always, our final guy, king of haphazard. Thank you guys for all of your support. We'll catch you on the flip side. Don't forget. Don't forget what? In general.

Uncle. Uncle. Uncle. Uncle. Uh-huh. Eh. Eh.