The Snark Tank - #118: Hunter Biden is the GOAT

Episode Date: July 18, 2022

Hunter Biden is the greatest of all time... that's it. If you want to support Derrick and his foreign lady, click that link baby https://www.gofundme.com/f/americanjojo Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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In March, the more you buy, the more you could save. Up to 50% off all window styles. Visit WindowNation.com for your free consultation today. I'm caught up in the game. My attention is on every play and every whistle, but what I'm missing is a signal coming from my kidneys. That signal isn't like a refs whistle. It's more of a silent SOS,

which could be warning me of an increased risk for events like heart attack or stroke. And a way I can catch that signal? A simple urine test called UACR. If you have type 2 diabetes or high blood pressure, talk to your doctor about the UACR test. Detect the SOS. Visit Detect thesos.com to learn more. Hey guys, it's Derek. Just wanted to say a couple of things before this episode starts.

If you listen to episode 117 on the Patreon feed, then you would have heard me say some stuff about, I'm going to be raising some money for my girlfriend and her family because she's going through some stuff. She's being affected by the Ukrainian war. She's not Ukrainian. She's Lithuanian, but Eastern European as a whole is being largely affected. A lot of stuff's going on. And I said that I was going to release a lot of information moving forward on the free feed episode of 117. but I wasn't ready to drop on the information, but I am now for episode 118.

If you're hearing this on the Patreon feed, all of the information will be out on the free feed episodes on Monday. I'm going to be dropping a video on my main channel, some black guy YouTube channel. That's going to detail everything. There will be links in the description. There's a GoFundMe. GoFundMe.com slash American Jojo.

There will be the Patreon. just all these different ways to help support. Very thorough thing. I'm not trying to get into it in here. I just wanted to kind of like let you guys know. So if you're listening to this episode 118 on the Monday on the free feeds, you can go to my main channel. There's a lot of information there.

And if you're willing to help, you want to help. But if you want to share the word, spread the love and all this stuff, I would appreciate it very much. So and that's it. Love you guys. You all make me very gay. And I'm still trying to. to reach a new level of gayness.

Enjoy the show. It's me. I can't stop spiking. I'm crowding, I'm crowding dad. You guys watch, you guys watch Stranger Things the last season? Yeah, I did. Yeah. What did you think of it?

I really enjoyed it. I thought it was good. I thought it was, you know, it's stranger things. You know, it's, it means it's like, it's not particularly surprising. You know, it doesn't, it's not like reinventing anything,

but it's, it's suitably entertaining for what it is. And I thought it was definitely better than like the last couple seasons personally. Like Jesus Christ. I very enjoy it. Okay. I just,

I haven't seen anybody else's opinion. I haven't been staying away because I barely, I'm actually not 100% done with it. I have the last episode to finish. But I've seen so enough of it to have at least an opinion on the season and how it's been progressing and everything. And I don't know. I'm very, I will say one thing that I noticed, very,

one thing that I really, really noticed is that, because me and Jojo, we watched from one to, we watched it, we marathoned everything. Right. We barely complained about, basically we,

we didn't really have much suspension, um, our suspension of disbelief was intact in the first season, pretty soundly. And then ever since that, it's just been nothing but nitpicking because of like decisions that were made that were so dumb that like that like it just it just reminded me of um it kind of reminded me and and i and i will say uh in the fourth season i i did it so much that it kind of reminded me a little bit

a little bit and i'm not saying it's it's on the same level but it reminded me a little bit of a season um eight of a game of thrones oh my god no way no way you just why you're lazy you're lazy choices bro bro you're not even comparable but i'll let you hear it's There's so many, I was just saying there's so many late, the writing, so many things that they did, it was just to drive plot. And it was so. I can agree with that. There was a lot of, there was a lot of like plot drive, like get to this point moments, which I agree. And certain things like something normal, things that people would normally do, they didn't do.

So Eddie, the metal guy. Yeah. Everyone's looking for him. why is he still wearing his stupid fucking clothes and not cutting his hair like literally everybody else would do if they're wanted

they did nothing they did nothing to hide or conceal his identity he's just hidden he's just hidden like I understand like that is a fair point and I understand that point

that's insanity that he wanted for murder you're right you're right that is a fair point but that is so easy to look overable by all this stuff that's happening you're right

you are correct I'm gonna I'm not gonna argue about your point not being a valid one Because it is, I would have, I would have just not been there anymore. Like, I would have been like, oh, wanted for murder, I'm, because, because, right, Eddie, based on Eddie's character in the degree of everything that he's wanted for, how to try to, the town sees him. It is, what the fuck did you just say?

Like, based on Eddie being wanted for murder, how the town sees him and all the, all the situations that's going on. Kingsen, Kingston. Hold on, on, on, Hong on, Kingston. I, I'm convinced you just had a stroke, I think. What? Did I just not that weird? I didn't understand a word of what you just said I might have babbled

Even after you repeated? Yes Because it was so That's what it sounded like to me Okay So are you Are you okay? I mean I'm in this fucking boiling room

It's not great but Okay Nice So if I'm gonna clarify it again My bad The way Eddie's character has been set up There is no way he could be redeemed After that

In the eyes of the public his character is just, you got to leave. You got to not be there anymore. There's no way because they assume he killed the people. There's no way he can't prove he didn't kill them. Right. Without revealing everything to the world. So you can kind of feel where that character is going.

I need to clarify. I need to clarify this. I'm not asking for complete logic in the universe because it's based on no logic in the beginning because it's all just about the kids taking on the monsters and not getting the adults and authorities involved who can actually, who have firepower and who can actually do things. Like I understand that it's not logical in the first place, but there's subtle things that even within this illogical universe, there's subtle things that everybody would do and they're just not doing and it's just pissing me off. Like say when Papa is blasted by the helicopter and then the van shows up. up to get 11, right?

They take their sweet. Now, to be fair, um, uh, fuck, what's the, the weird, Will's brother?

What's his name? Jonathan? Yeah. So Jonathan, to be fair, he says very softly, guys, we gotta go.

And niggas are just standing there. They're hugging. She's fucking like watching Papa die. And I'm like, the army and that nigger is still downstairs. They asked to kill her. Obviously, if there's no report that they killed them,

they're going to come out. They take their sweet fucking time and then they finally leave and then coincidentally, the army just happens to show up as the van is leaving the distance. I'm like, stupid,

oh yeah, that's a lot of, yes, well, that's just a lot of, that's a lot of 80s style. Like, I mean,

this show is very like, oh, you know, it's a goonies style. Like, none of that shit makes any sense. You know, like,

it's all bullshit. Like, like, every 80, every 80s film, every, on, every,

Every 80s story that this show is emulating, like, thrives off of convenience. Like, it's literally convenience after convenience after convenience. Even in the first season, it's like, what the fuck? Like, none of it makes sense. So, like, to me, it's just like, oh, this is just what this is. It's just like... There's... Look, I think the...

I did want to say that I know... Why is Nancy dating Jonathan after he stalked her for fucking... Like, it makes no fucking sense. Like, it's... That to me is insane. No one... No one went to Nancy's house after the fucking girl, the heavyset girl was killed. They would have fucking stripped her house down.

They would have been put her in jail problem. There's so, like, I understand your, your, your, your, your assessments are correct. Mine's just the subtle things, though. I don't want the, it's, it's the little, it's the little things. Not the, because like, like, I try to say that the overall plot, right, the fact that they're not going to the parents or the authorities and they have evidence of everything. It's not like they're, look, they're not going to just brush. them off. They know about the portals and the upside down and the tunnels and all this shit where they can literally take them and show them. Like I understand that like this is based on

just wacky nonsense. But even within the rules of the universe, there's just little things that just bother me. I just want to say, I'm going to cut this again. Don't cut it. Don't cut it. There's no point. It's on Netflix. You can watch it right now. If you haven't seen it already, you don't care about it. Okay. Okay. Okay. I will say. So yeah, I'll even pre-bumper spoiler. I'll put it in there. If you can skip this entire thing if you don't want to watch it. Um, the fucking, the one guy who was now, I loved his character. He was the, the bearded conspiracy theorist where I loved his character because he's the crazy guy, but he was also the most rational guy. He was the one psychologically could figure everybody out. He knows what's going on. I liked his character. And then in the

fucking fourth season, he just turned into a complete retard. All of a sudden he's like getting hyped up. like I know fucking karate and I took on a 16 year old then they had him do this weird speech and do karate shit when Yuri was holding a gun and Yuri didn't shoot him in the fucking face. Stuff like that that didn't need

to happen. What could have happened was still a nice karate fight surprising us that he actually can fight but he could have attacked him immediately not done some gay ass you know like say remember oh with the Raiders of Lost Ark a funny thing was the Arab guy the Arab dude and then he just fucking shoots him

Great scene. Well executed because you think you were going to get this big epic fight. Yeah. That was well executed. This thing was executed in a way where it's like he gives this huge fucking speech and he's like, wah. And then you're thinking, oh, obviously he's going to get shot or something. He's getting a shot in the leg. Something's going to happen.

No, he just attacks him. He kicks the gun. And then he whips his ass. And I'm like, well, in what universe, even in this gay-ass universe, would a guy with a gun just wait for a guy to give his speech threatening him? I think that's more about, I think. that's more about like kind of using tone to set up certain expectations you know what i mean where it's like oh hey this is like you're in a plane being smuggled out of russia and this guy just knows karate for some reason and he's like not getting her and it's just like isn't that insane and then it skips a

couple episodes and then like suddenly it gets like a really fucking dark really quick and there's like you know what i mean like i feel like they use that intentionally but honestly sincerely that whole russia thing i skipped through the entire thing like i i skis I'm, I like, I'll be honest. I feel like that was pretty much with Hopper. That was kind of the only grounded part of the fucking series. No, exactly. No, exactly.

Well, no, no, except for the fact that they survived a fucking plane crash. But. Well, aside. In the deep snows of Russia. Yeah, yeah. And you're right. In the 40 feet deep snow of Russia, yeah. And I got to say, I want to say, I'll let you, I'm going to let you go.

I just got to, I just got to say, I also want to add to you that. Hopper's feet weren't frozen black when he fucking got to the church and he was traveling with no shoes on that. Yeah, I don't know. The whole Russia thing to me, it's like it felt so. I like boring. Like there wasn't, there wasn't, well, it felt, it felt silly, but without the, I don't know, like, without any of the joy. Like, like, there's something like, like, like, when they're, like, the whole convenient thing when like Max is at the grave or whatever and she's like, I'm about to be. levitated and then also Nancy and the lesbian

are in the fucking are in the are interviewing Freddie Kruger in the in the jail cell and they just so happen and they just so happen to learn like what will help at the exact right moment like that's obviously like contrived and convenient but it's it's engaging to watch at the very least because you're like oh you know it's like it's pace in a certain way

but then in fucking Russia they're just like it feels like a Call of Duty campaign and then it switches to the Goonies. It's so fucking weird. Like that tonal shift that I was just like I was skimming. Like I would pause every now and again to see like what the characters are saying. But I was like, I do not give a fuck about this rush of shit. You are absolutely right about the conflicting tones 100%.

What it reminded me of was, and this, I go back to Game of Thrones and say that I feel like poorly they were trying to emulate like I want everyone to have an arc and then I want to tie it all together. And, because, you know, there's so many characters in Game of Thrones. And then it takes a while for things to progress. I'm talking about, like, I felt like the fight between the prisoners and the Dimmigorgon, it felt like Freeza versus Goku. It took forever to get there. Yeah. I was like waiting. I'm like, there's so many things happening that I'm like, this sequence should probably take like 20 minutes tops.

And it's taking hours to get there because of we got to follow Eddie. We got to follow Nancy and the lesbian. I think the arcs of everybody in Hawkins is really good though. Oh, well, except for Finn Wolfheart's. No, he's not at Hawkins.

He was in L.A. Oh, yeah, that's right. I know, I don't know. Lucas had a good arc. I think,

um, Dustin, Dustin had a pretty good art with Eddie. I think, um, freaking, what you call? They kind of look a little gay.

I don't know what was going on with that. It might have been a little gay. I don't know. Let them, let them be, did you see that there was a little subtle moment. We're like, because,

you know, Eddie was jealous of a Jonathan. And then like, then they, like, kind of hugged. And he was, I think he said something like never changed. And they stared awkwardly at each other for just a little bit too long. And I'm like, okay, I know what's going on with Will. But are we doing the same arc with Eddie and fucking Dustin? I know, I know they're not.

But they did a weird little pod. No, that little huggering is like never changed, man. It was like an idea of like an older brother, like older brother, like grabbing you by your head and be like, you man, stay, like, is like the whole stay golden pony boy thing.

It's like when your older brother shoves his cop down your throat, you know? I mean, that's what I'm saying. When you wake up? Have you ever,

have you ever, um, embraced your sibling in that way? Like I've, have you ever embraced a sibling in that way and held them and were like standing their eyes for like a long time. No, no,

no, but I've definitely, I've definitely hugged my brothers in ways where if another person hugged me, I'd assume they're kind of gay. I'm like, what are you doing? Like, What are you?

Like, like, if I'm, if I wasn't hugging my brother like that and someone else hugged me and like had a moment, like they put the head to my head. I'm like, I love you, man. For real. I'd be like, yo, I'm going to fight you. Like, don't touch me like that. Like, don't touch me like that. I'm going to ask you guys a question. I want to ask you guys a question.

Did you assume, I think it was in season two or something or whenever when everyone started hooking up, you know, or was it, was it the beginning of season three? That's probably the beginning of season three, I think. Like when everyone was hooking up and Will was like all pissed off that they're not just being nerds and playing D&D and shit. Did you assume at that point that he was gay already? No, I thought he was more childish. There is a scene. There's a scene and they kind of go back to it. I guess it worked out.

It's kind of one of those things where it's like retroactively. It's like, oh, that happens to work out. But like there's a scene where they're like, where they're arguing and like Finn's like, it's not my fault. You don't like girls. I thought that was like I thought that was more of like I thought that was more of a like You're too young too

But you know what I mean Like it's just like oh you're like a fucking 8 year old or whatever the fuck How old he was Of course you don't like girls You want to kill them probably Right like they have cooties and shit Yeah

Yeah So I mean it does My immature mind I immediately went to like Oh Will's gay as shit And then it just turned out I think with my immaturity

I just happened to be like Oh I got there accidentally because I was thinking more maturely would be, oh, he's just too young. His childhood was stolen from him because of being infected by the line flare and shit. That's what makes you get. Actually, in fact, if you destroy the upside down, gay people stop existing altogether. Yeah.

That's where gay people come from. No, no, no, that's where gayness leaks into our reality. Okay. There was no, dude, that actually, doesn't that sound like a real Christian thing? Because isn't upside down technically? It doesn't sound real. I bet like if Catholics or like Christians knew the story, like actually knew what happened. They would be like, you see, you see that child was touched by the mind flayer and now there are gay.

There are gay. There are gay. Now is gay. They are gay How do we explain I don't remember her name The lesbian girl How do they explain her?

Well that's that's never been a problem Was it a Robin? Robin, yeah Maya Hawk Um, okay That's Ethan Hawke Umma Thurman's daughter Which is hilarious

Do you say Robin Mike Cock? No, her name is Robin Hawk No, no I mean maybe No, Maya Hawk, there you go Yeah, Robin Maya Cock That's Ethan Hawk

That's Ethan Hawke and what you call Umma Thurman's daughter Yeah, it's crazy She looks like both of them literally it is kind of wild that that's true but yeah I mean nobody's ever really had a problem with lesbians you know what I mean

you guys don't you guys don't it's always like dude even like the hard school fundamental is Byron Brimstone dudes they see two girls make it out and they're like oh that's hot they're like they will deny it they'll deny it they'll be fiddling with themselves

no no they'll deny it they'll be like this is this is egregious but they won't blink you know young ladies stop and they're all sweating and shit. Just fucking like, this is,

what are you, Lord, Lord forgive me. It's like fucking hellfire from fucking, uh, hunched back of Notre Dame. Oh my God. Dude,

that nigga is so horny. That is the horniest song ever. That is the most down bad creature I've ever experienced in my life, bro. Man's is, he's gone. He's, his dick has completely taken control of him. He's gone.

I've seen cats in. heat less down bad than that fucking creature. That guy is. Manz Nans needs to. He's got his, he's got his dumb little fucking fortune cookie shaped head. He's got to put his penis on ice, bro. That shit is crazy. He's out of pocket, bro. That's a great.

That's a great. It's a great. It's a great insults. Speaking of out of pocket, transition. Transition. Transition. To the goldy goat of America right now. America's real hero. We got our boy Hunter

Biden, bro. The goady goat right now. Who, who, who, who. This fucking our scene. Oh, my God. You see those? Have you seen those? Have you seen the stuff yet? Have you seen the, I've seen a little bit of it. I haven't dug too deep because I'm a little scared to. I watched it all morning. All morning I was watching shit about it.

It's hilarious. I don't know, man. That whole thing is weird. Like, I saw a fan cam video about him. Like it was it was like just really fast clips of him just high on cracks set to like Tame Impala or some shit. I don't even know. It was just so confusing. So there's a video of him being like, I'm on that lean nigga and he's drinking lean. He says the N-word? Yes, he says, that's awesome.

And I'm like, this guy is, you know, you know when the champion walks in, like the hero walks into the room and everybody knows like that's the hero? That's what I thought about him. I was like, this guy, this guy needs to become president. He needs to be the next one. No, man. He does. We need that. We need another.

No, we don't. It didn't work the last time. No, no, no, no. We had a George Bush. Because George Bush was every man's man, right? Even though he went to Yale, even though he went to Yale and he was part of skull and bones and all this shit that normal people can't be a part of, he still was every man's man. He was a guy that choked on a fucking pretzel and hit his head. That's, that's fucking, that is every man's man.

Because he was just stupid. He was stupid. because he was just stupid. But we need, what happened is that we need someone like him to offset the idea that Reagan was president. So Reagan was the worst, but he was the worst in one direction.

We need someone that's the worst in the more nigger direction, you know, where he's just like doing a bunch of ghetto bad shit, you know? And it's perfect because he's not black, you know, because if it makes so,

it's so perfect. Go ahead. It's a whole joke, man. It's whole jokes. What happened is that Hunter Biden, instead of like, you know... We should explain this, by the way.

Oh, okay. So, uh... We just sort of said... So Hunter Biden, I think his like, ICloud got hacked or something on Fortune. And then, so like a bunch of these like weird... A bunch of these like weird, like insane videos and photos and text messages have just been released and like, people are sifting through them and posting them.

I don't, like, all I can really say for sure is that the videos are real. I don't know. Like, there's like little things like, oh, um, Joe Biden in his phone, his name is like Pito Peter or something and I saw that and I was like I don't know if that like that like anything that's text could easily be edited like so to me like 4chan

4chan is like notorious for like making shit up all the time which is like which is really bitten him in the ass in this situation because now like a lot of people just don't believe this shit but I fully believe I fully believe Hunter Biden's like smoke and crack fucking hookers and probably did like on some island somewhere you know fucking menace bro he's a menace

he's a he's he's Ezra Miller in a political space, bro. He doesn't give a fuck, no, but no, no behavior. He's smoking. The image of him weighing out all that coke or that crack was so funny to me, because I was like, why would you record this? Why would you record this? Why are you recording any of this?

A lot of, a lot of it is why would you record this? Like what? It's like, 90% of it. Yeah. It reminds you of EDP when he took a photo of his shit. to send to that kid. It's just like, why would, like, like the second,

the second you see something on an LCD screen, you know? It should be post-up. That should be like a wake-up call. It's like, oh, maybe this doesn't need to be digitized for eternity. It's, I will say,

it's absolutely an ego thing because the thing that they like, like EDP, he probably likes shit, you know, and then he thinks, his ego so out of whack just like Hunter Biden I like this

so clearly everybody else wants to see this shit Hunter Biden loves crack so he wants to show away the crack and he thinks you're gonna be as impressed as he is he's really impressed with this crack he's like look at all this this is macro shit son

yeah you look at this shit man and then and then he fucking there's a dope ass one where he's just walking around with the piece he's just he's just erected and he pulls out a gun bro. That shit is so, that shit is so action hero, bro. That is. And he films it.

And I'm like, that's so insane. But I've never even thought about that. You know what? I thought about dumb shit like, oh, you know, what are the two best things in the world, eating and fucking? So I want to eat a sandwich while I'm having sex. Like, I've thought about stuff like that. But I've never thought about, oh, I want to have a gun and have sex. Like, I've never, that's never crossed me.

You're not that American. You're not that American. That's real American. You're absolutely right, man. There's levels of this shit, and I'm, I'm still, I'm still a crook, man. I'm still a level one. You know what I mean? What happened is you haven't hit your, you haven't hit your stride yet.

Once you fuck someone while eating, you'll be like, what can I outside do how fuck? I want to fuck while taking a shit. That's so dangerous. It starts getting wild. Then your brain starts getting different. You know, your brain chemistry alters. I love that you mention that because that's literally a fucking Seinfeld plot. Is it?

That's, like, yeah, it's like, yeah, George's like, I want to combine, like, eating and sex and then like and then he gets greedy and he's like oh I want to combine it with like watching sports at the same time and it's just like it blows up on him but I don't think I've ever thought of it like because I eating it I love if I'm thinking about eating it's usually like oh pizza or like a really messy sandwich and just the thought of like just thought of like lettuce falling on a pair of tits is just so it kind of appealing I don't know about you I'm saying a pepperoni A pepperoni fall in that titty with a little bit of grease and stuff I'm like that crazy

That's not good to me I want to be I want to have any of the ones I don't want the other but I usually want food more than anything else So I'm just like when I when I have food I don't I when I have food I can't I can't find a use for women Like I don't like

Like once I'm eating I don't I don't know I don't know why a woman should be around Like I'm eating and I look up and I'm like No no no What do you do? What are you adding to this? Nothing. Leave. Oh my God. Dude, let me tell you. I'm going to tell you, I'm going to tell you, because everybody, I feel like everybody has an icarus moment, right, when they flew a little bit too close to the sun.

I feel like everybody has that. I'm telling you, man, I once had my knob slobbed on while I was eating an Oreo McFlurry. And it was, I turned into Icarus and I'm like, no man should experience this. This is too much. That would, that would like kill a caveman, I think. you know what I mean Like I feel like I feel like a caveman Did you see that Oh my God

Did you see that video Like this is old But I saw it recently Of this like This guy in Ukraine Like in 2017 He's like he's like The leader of like

The Nationalist Party there And he's like Giving a speech And he dies in the middle of the speech No It is It's just talking about how like this He's like

He's talking about like this nation Will Rise again I mean it's like It's all in Ukrainians I don't understand it Like the gist of it is like, oh, this nation will rise again. It's like, it's all this like nationalist stuff. And then you just like, and he just falls over silently.

And it's like one of the most, it is such an eye-opening video because I'm like, wow, people just really do just shut off. Like that. Did he get hit with the CIA heart attack gun? Either they got him with one of those motherfuckers? I'm going to tag you guys in it. I'm going to tag you guys in it right now. Quick little, you know, just a quick little. And then all of a sudden, it's a little.

You just die? Because how often does that shit happen? You feel like everybody has a cell phone. Why don't we see that shit? I feel like it's so uncommon, except for when you're the leader of a nationalist party. There's something magical about. I just tagged you guys in it on Twitter.

You can check it on your phone. There's something magical about dying while you're speaking. There's a lot of people. Like, that's like a common, well, not a common. But like it's common enough that it's happened on tape like a number of times. Like there was like a famous comedian, I think, who died on stage. And, um,

which is awesome, by the way. It's like an awesome way to die. I guess you're a joke. You say you see it on Twitter? Yeah, I tag you guys. Okay, okay. You don't even have to hear what he's saying, but just like, just watch it silently. His choppers go loose and he falls down.

Well, he is a million years old, so I kind of get it. Yeah, yeah, that's the thing. It's like, you see him and you're like, how are you even not dead? How are you not dead? It's almost like reality. He already remembered who he was. Dude, I actually, in that Asian mummy, like he's alive? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Like, that guy literally looks like he was exhumed and he's alive. That guy looks like he looks like he's the color. He looks like he's made of clay. That's how off-colored his skin is. That guy looks like a prop. It's really scary, that guy. Like, I don't know what they're doing over there.

Frightening. Dude, there's no way that guy's enjoying life. Kill him. Can you imagine? though? Can you imagine though? Kill him. Dude, there's no way he's enjoying life. No, you're right. You're right. But can you imagine, let's say you make it

to like 80 or like or at that age, whatever the fuck that guy is like 107 or whatever 40. 240, dude, no. I've seen 100 years, dude. That guy's at least 200 years old, dude. Come on. He looks like he's zoom. Let's say you make it to that age. You've, you've beaten everybody. You've got like this, you've got this amazing

well, maybe the first like 30% of your life at that point is is awesome. And you make it this far. He's like, oh man, I'm like, I'm the person, I am the person who's lived the longest, and then you die, and then your ghost is that. You know what I mean?

Like, if, if, because every time you see like a, like a dead character in like media or something, like they, they appear as they died. Yeah. So it's like, if an old man dies, he's an old man forever. Seems to me that the ideal way to go out is in your prime.

You know, you're like, you're like 27 or something and you like, you get on a jet plane or like you go skydiving and you're like, oh, well, this is the perfect time to die. Because if I go into the spirit world, I'll be this fucking perfect version of myself instead of a shambling, shambling cobweb fucking marionette. I don't know. I don't know. Would you want to be an old ghost? I don't, I don't know if I want to live very long sometimes.

No, but what I'm saying, what I'm saying is, would you rat, like, if you had to live for all eternity, you'd rather live in, like... I want to be, like, in prime Hunter Biden condition, like, 100%. Exactly. Because at 40, you're not, you're not, you're not really bad off. You're just not your peak anymore, you know? But, I mean, like, I think it's generally, I mean, it's generally agreed that, like, I mean, I feel like, what, like, 25 to 30 is generally. It's like, it's like 20, it's like, not for everybody, but like, 25 to 35 is like your peak. Yeah.

And then you start your degrade out. after that. You know, you start your... You start your real degraded, like, in your 40s, but... I don't know. You know, but it's crazy. It was crazy is that... Most people, yeah, but...

Generally speaking. The state, like, the quality of life we live, older we get, the older, like, the older we get, the more medicine evolves. I don't know. We're in a weird spot now where I don't know if we're going to be able to beat that clock anymore. But, like, the older we get, the more medicine involved, the more, like, better health exists.

Like, there are motherfuckers that are, like, 66. running marathons. And it's like, how the fuck? How the fuck are you doing that? Well, we were... Sweeney, we were talking... Because we were watching that Mega-S64 video

with, like, fucking... Shinji Makami and, like, they were, like, dude... It was like this... They did a whole, like, Dragon Ball, like, the boo saga in five minutes, and they had, like, a bunch of, like, cameos, like, Cliff Blasinski

and, like, all these game developer people and all these content-grator people doing, like, the spirit bomb at the end. And we were looking at all these, like, old Japanese men, just, like, running around living their lives. It's like, these are fucking old people.

Well, American, but they're fucking, they're sprinting around. It's fucking crazy over there. Like, over here. Like,

Kojima's not young. He's really not a young guy. Well, Kojima's not old. Kojima's not old. Kojima's not old, though. He's like 56, bro. At least,

I think. Dude, Kojima looks like he's in his 30s to me. For he looks great. He looks really good. Kojima is 58, but that's like, that's not young, Chris at all.

Have you seen that model that was like, that's, That's, oh my God, I got to pull up. I got to show you, there's this model, this Asian model that's in his like 50s, and he looks like he's 21. It's fucking bullshit. But it's like, it's like fucking bullshit. Even like freaking what you call it. People like the way, the way a 58 year old in Asia looks opposed to 50 year old.

Think of your grandma at 60. You can look back and remember your, you're like a well at 60. And my grandma did not. She looked, she had good skin, but she did not look. young then. She looked like an older person already. But it's because in like America, once you start getting old, you get shuffled away. You're like, oh, you're old. Get out of here. Yeah.

Close to there. You get old. We also are, we, we, our fucking diet are so terrible. It's so bad. It's so bad. Our diets are so bad. Our food is killing us for sure. They're destroying us. Yeah, yeah. They're eating our inside. It's wild. Dude, when I have a herniated disc that is, it's horrible right now. Right now I am having like an episode. And when I had my MRI, the guy was like, why do you have a neck of like an old guy? Like what did you?

I'm like, I didn't, I played football for two years. I avoided doing, I didn't squat a lot because I've always had kind of neck issues. So a lot of times I would do leg presses. I would avoid putting things on my neck specifically. So I can't tell you why other than just probably too much taco. Bell and my just bones are being eaten by whatever whatever material whatever I'm consuming is just making me deteriorate inside and my neck is falling off. Could you imagine later in the future, right?

Like you free or frozen, you wake up. They take your blood like with this blood, it holds a toxin that was put in Taco Bell that can kill thousands of people now. Within you, this toxin that you've learned to adapt to that's killing you, but not fast, can destroy civilization. It's probably not even anything nefarious. It would just be like,

hmm, this is a nice bottle of water that's like 40% microplastics. You know, it's like that kind of shit where it's like, this can't be good. It's going to be like, people 100 years from now

probably can't like MSG is going to be like plutonium to them. They just took it. They just took it out of everything and then now they can't handle that shit. dude. Like we're like, I've, I don't think I've had food without it. Like, say, I know there's packages now that say no MSG added. And I'm like, what, I don't even, is that, is that same for me to eat? I feel like I need it now. MSG is so bad. It's really bad for you. But it's so

damn delicious. It's insane. It's, it is a, what I hear it is, I guess the, I don't know if this is even a real term, but excitotoxin. where it tricks your mind to think things taste amazing. It makes things taste better. Yeah, it does. Well, it makes it, but it tricks your mind in thinking that it tastes better than it actually does. This is what I've heard.

I could be 100% wrong. I mean, even if that's true, that's ostensibly just it tasting better, you know? Right. So what I, what, I heard they started using it first with MRIs

when basically just that shitty, when the army had shitty fucking food that they had to use. And so they packed it full of MSG and then they're like, oh, this tastes pretty dank, bro. you know like you know like people in the that's fucked up yeah in the wars this beef stew that came out of a box

tastes delicious this fucking this brick of fucking this brick of beef welling I don't even know this brink of beef Wellington is so good this bit of beef Wellington is delicious God I love it I love my MRI is full of waggo beef

and fucking are they called MRIs no they're called their They're UGIs, right? No, I thought they're, they can be called them. I'm probably, I, I'm probably funny. Because when I hear MRI, I think of like a cat scan. I'm thinking of, so I must be saying the wrong word.

I must be saying the wrong. I mean, I'm not saying, I don't know. It's like the only abbreviation of those words I know is the cat scan. I must be saying the wrong thing because it's, it's something MREs. MREs. That's, yeah, yeah, that sounds. I've heard that before. Yeah.

So there's probably people listening to this blues in their minds when I said, they're like, I was a part of another time for four days. And I know where I was never called that Typing and shit like Well guess what bitch it got corrected Shut the fuck up Yeah I'm talking to you You know who I'm I'm you

I'm talking to you They can fall asleep Minor minor manners All right Yeah it is yeah Meals are ready to eat Ready to eat yeah I've had some of these

I've had them too They're disgusting Yeah Because my dad's in the army And he was like He was in the army And he would come home He just he's just like

This is my shit No no he brought him home He never eats him, but he's like, hey, check this. I think I, he gave one to me. He's like, hey, try this. And I remember it not being as bad as I expected it to be. But I thought they were horrible, dude. I never liked those guys.

Like, you'll just taste bad. Well, I expected hell. And like, it wasn't hell. It was just, like, really underwhelming. You expected hell in Detroit, you know? You were like, well, this is coming from a person where we saw you eat those Catholic starophone wavers. That shit was insane. I couldn't believe waiting that.

Wait more than what? You didn't just taste it. You ate some. I ate several. I ate like I ate at least like fucking 40 of them. For what? Because they just don't taste like it's such a strange.

No, no, no, no. They have a for real no taste. Like people say white rice is it tastes like anything. White rice tastes like white rice. That. Rice has a subtle taste right. Nothing. That tastes like nothing at all.

To me, I reminded me of tasting eating starry phone. I thought that's what it felt like to me. I felt like I shouldn't be eating this. It felt to toxic. No, yeah, yeah. Microplastic row. It did feel toxic, but I just, I kept eating it because I was just like, this is so fascinating because there's this, the sensation that you get when you're eating something with absolute no taste is so bizarre and so like unlike anything. It's just, is that how, sorry. No, no, that way? Is that how, uh, distilled water? I've never drank distilled water before. It tastes, you know how it has, I'm pretty sure. It tastes really bad.

You're not, I mean, obviously you're not supposed to like fucking, you can drink it. But I know why it's bad. But like say, for example, a lot of people cutting weight, like fighters don't drink distilled water to like piss out as much shit as possible just to keep, you know, dehydrating themselves because, you know, that's what they got to do. But I just wonder how it tastes because it has nothing in it. I'm like, what is it? It tastes bad. It's distilled water tastes like, like just stripped of any minerals and shit. It tastes bad.

When you pee, you pee forever. You pee forever and your pee changes colors while you pee, bro. Why were you drinking distilled water? I don't remember what I was doing. I think because I was playing, I think when I was like doing MMA for like the first like that one year, I drank this. I drank someone. You got to do this, bro. Someone talked to me into drinking it.

And my cousin was like, yo, you actually drank that shit? And I was like, yeah, it tastes horrible. He was like, bro, get set to when you pee. And I peed for like. for like 30 minutes I was pissing and I was just like bro I feel gross That can't be real

I peed for like 30 Obviously it's exaggeration But I peed like way long And I repeat I peed to the point that my back started hurting Look I get I was put to forward pissing I've had a long piss for like

I've pissed for over a minute before And I was astonished I think I think I've I think the longest I've peed Today I learned So this is I googled this The longest piss on record the world's longest piss on record was 36 minutes and 24 seconds.

That is. That doesn't register to me as possible. That's what I just can't even. I'm like, don't you, won't you pass out before you finish? No. I feel like there's two. He was probably drinking water while he was doing it. But that was not an unassisted piss.

That was definitely like a lot of things came together to make that piss. It was like, maybe it was slamming distilled water, like just slamming it. Slamming it. But I heard if you, if you, if you drink a ton of salt water, that makes you piss really fast too. Fast. So maybe that's what this bitch was doing. Why did you just say fast? Apparently, because that means it wouldn't be that long.

I think the thing is, so apparently like this, everybody is in the comments of this argument. It's like, that's not fucking possible. And then like this one guy who's like, the longest pee was 5008 seconds. not physically possible to pee for fucking 36 minutes. I don't know why don't... Why is it not possible exactly? Why is it not possible, though?

Because if you... Think about how much water that would. No, no, no, no, I understand. But if you can find a means to like drink something that quickly goes through your system and straight into your bladder, I assume you could pee that long. I don't think anything really does that.

So I can see why that argument comes into doing it. But like... If we have... had if our fucking system was just an esophagus connected to the bladder, then yes, it would be possible. Because then you could just keep drinking and drinking, and then it would just,

you know, but it takes a while for the kidneys to process things to make it to your fucking bladder. But what if it's, if it's nothing, if it's nothing you're absorbing, because it goes there to be absorbed. It absorbs all nutrients and then it others are the ways it cycles and shoots out, right? Because I've definitely drank water

and pissed in like 10 minutes. Yeah, but also, there's already stuff in your system beforehand. It's kind of like how people, you know, stupid people are sometimes. They think that, oh, they start eating and then they're like, oh, man, I got a shit. And they're thinking, some people think they're literally shitting

what they just ate. I'm like, you're a fucking retard. It depends if you eat something that's really bad, but that's not how it works usually. More often, way or not. Even if you eat something very bad, you feel it cycling through your system and it feels awful. You feel the fucking, you're like, oh, God. Like, it's working its way down.

It still takes a while because it's so lengthy. especially your small intestines. It still takes a while to get there. But like it's just literally the way that your system works, as soon as you put something in your body like food or water, then you're activated to make room, right? Now you've been activated to, okay, now let's either we've got to take a shit now or it's time to empty the bladder or whatever.

It's all that type of shit, right? And I don't think, I just 30 minutes, man, over 30 minutes. That's not real. There's no way. That's impossible. There needs to be video of it. Either video. or piss off.

Even if there was video, I believe it's like an AI rendered video or something. Like I would, I would have to see that in person to really believe it. Yeah, wasn't there a fake story about a chick that like chat like a bunch of like really far? Didn't we talk about this on the podcast? What?

The world record of like taking a shit. I feel like we talked about this one's probably like a year, two years ago or something. There was like a world record that I think was fake or something about some chick, like shitting like 30 something feet or something or something. Something absurd. Like shitting. Like a lot.

of shit that was like absurdly long but I think it was like a fake story yeah things like world longest shit shit yeah world's most explosive shit I wonder if someone had such exposed diarrhea it killed them close I want to think they like they

like they had such explosive diarrhea they sat down the toilet they pushed and then the toilet both shattered their fucking whole entire lower body shattered they die there that's definitely not happened but there are what is that there was that there was that woman who died holding in her Pita went away.

Yeah. In like 2006, yeah. Really sad. Dumb bitch. She's doing it for a kid, man. What? I mean, but was there no doctor there to be like, hey, no one do this?

Like, was there no doctor? Like, was there no doctor? Like, what the fuck? I guess not. Do you do this? Nah, man, they didn't have time for that. They were like, we got to go. We got to get that shit in.

To be fair, maybe, to be fair, maybe there was a doctor and they told him to fuck off. They were like, the fuck up my kid. It wants a wee. He was like, hey, guys. I don't think it's a good idea. I'll see you at your funeral, you fucking dumb ho, and then he literally shows up. Holden your pee, holding your pee the longest. Opens the coffin and slaps her.

Like, what the, what now? What's the, what now? What's on her face leave? Oh, the bus on her face. He's charred. Hold your pee in for as long as humanly possible, and you win a night out with Hunter Biden. Let's go. I'm going to do that.

I would dead ass hold my peon for like two days. Tabra. You guys are crazy. I don't want to be anywhere. I don't want to be anywhere near that guy, man. I feel like other than the whole kid thing. Because he's probably likely a pedophile. Other than that. I disagree. Other than that.

I disagree. You know why I disagree? Because I think he would be, he seems like the type of guy that would be proud to record him banging kids. And that footage would be available. I guess you're not wrong. I guess it should be. Yeah. I don't know.

He'd be the one. He's displaying his crack, dude. So he's probably, he would be like. Like, he would be like picking up his little, you know, you'd. And there are videos. There are, there are also videos. Show it all. Look at this.

Look at this, look at this limited edition. Uh, Taiwanese. Like, you know, he's like, Taiwanese. Like, you know, he picks up his other one. Like, got this one. Dude, this is from the Amazon forest. You can't even, they're not even tapped in, uh, civil. They haven't even been, uh, they haven't even been, it's civilized in.

They don't even got AC or DC adapters, bro. Then I got this one from Africa. He's real fast. There is no contact. He was the, he was the, first one, he went directly into it and stole a kid from one of those fucking tribes in the He's that kind of rap scowling that he would kick he wants to I want to get my own kids I want to I want to I want to grab my own I want to catch my own he's his own he's that much of a

Go getter he yeah he's he's like Tom Cruise doing his own stunts he's like no I got to do I got to do my own stunts man but for yeah I mean I guess there is there is video of him like with like a like very clearly adult women fucking all the time. He's sucking his dick and he's already doing illegal stuff so it's like so I feel like that's the only pass I'll give him

but then could you imagine could you imagine this idea of someone's sucking your dick and then you put a gun to their head like they're giving you a blow job and you take you go you grab one of your pistols and you put it on the side of her head

that's too much man isn't the one where he's like he's eating food who's eating a sandwich or something, and the girl is like in the background on the bed where she's tied up and has a bag over her head. Did you see that one, Chris? I did see that one, yeah. I did see that one, yeah.

I saw the, I saw the photo of that. I don't know if there's a video. But it might be a video or, I'll be just a photo. It might be both, but I think, I think, uh, I don't know,

legendary shit, he just, I can't be around that level of unpredictability all the time. I feel like you've probably been around worse, man. I definitely have not been around worse than Hunter By. Like, I don't... No way. I don't think so.

So I don't... And I've been around like him pretty often. Like, most of the crazy... Most of the crazy who you've been around, I've also been around with you. And I don't think I've been around anyone. That is a political figure that's recording themselves. Look, look, look, look, look, look. Look, look.

The second, the second you bring the gun out during sex is like, I... Like, that's a different... That's a different species as far as. I'm concerned. Like that is almost like, that is almost like we think so differently it's insane. You have a gun right now? Yeah, but why wouldn't you want to at least, I feel like it's like it's like the, it's like the idea of being in space terrifies me. But if I had the opportunity, I would go. Oh, no, I would not. Like it's, it's just one of those things. I feel like it's like that. Like I, it's not

like I, that's not, obviously I'm, it's not my lifestyle. I don't fucking do crack. I don't bang whores and shit like that. However, if you have the, opportunity to hang out with Hunterpocket. I would hang out with him. That's crazy. You have to hang out with them once. It's like, it's like my friend was like, would you fuck the Kardashian mom? And it's like, do I find her attractive? Absolutely not.

Would I fuck her absolutely for the experience of fucking her? That's insane. I did something that most people just would never have none. And that's all. It's just a story. It's a story. It's just like I'd fuck Obama. Like, no questions asked.

Yeah. Just to say you fuck him. Yeah. I would absolutely let Trump suck my dick. Absolutely. Just to be like Donald Trump suck my dick, bro. That's real. The president suck my dick.

Yeah. Hell yeah. It's fucking madness. Just to be like, just to have that on your resume. Like what happened? What's what was happening? Imagine being at a party for real and some girls like, what's the last thing you ever done? I'm like, oh.

And you have to sift through it because it's so many crazy things. You're like, oh, uh, oh yeah. Donald Trump sucked my dick once. It's like, what do you While he was fighting with Elon Musk on Twitter Like literally he was like And he started typing

And he started typing The pop noise The pop Hold on one second Hold on one second He calls you Sweeney too Hold on one second And he's not tweeting

He's he's truthing He's truth Oh yeah yeah Yeah He's not on Twitter Dude, truth social is so funny. I've seen people get banned. I've seen people get banned on truth social for like the funniest fucking shit.

Like just like, oh, women are people. And then they're just like immediately banned. Is that bad? Yeah. Oh my God. I mean, it's, I don't know. I love. Wait a minute.

Women are people banned. Ban him. Ban him. I just, I love so deeply. I love so deeply the idea that there's like a free speech. There's like a free speech. that limits what you can say more than Twitter does.

That's always that way, though. I know, I know. It's always like, did you just criticize Trump? Get out of here. What is it? There was all of them. I remember I got invited to, this was years ago, Gab. Oh, yeah, yeah.

And I'm like, I'm, dude, I'm good. I'm fine with Twitter. I am okay. Now, sometimes Twitter annoys me, but for the most part, 99% I'm okay with Twitter. rules because most of the shit, like, it's the people that are actively getting banned. There's always ones like, I didn't deserve that. Like somebody repeated a phrase.

Like I saw somebody said, dude, did you hear that so-and-so said this and they got banned? Like, fuck, I didn't, I didn't know. But I get it. They can differentiate the context because they're stupid robots. I thought that was fucked up. With people that, you know, going out of their way, and he'd be like, well, I just threatened his fucking life, dude, this is bullshit. And I'm like, okay.

Yeah, most of the issue. man, they deserve it. Like, I'm sorry. Like, most of the time, people deserve getting in trouble. It's like, it's so easy not, dude, I've said wild shit on Twitter, bro. I think, I think here's the, here's, I know, I know. I think you're right, not necessarily because of what you've seen, but be, but statistically speaking.

Like, I guarantee you, like, the overwhelming majority of accounts that are banned that don't get a lot of attention are like, probably like bots and shit or like, or fucking, you know, spam accounts. Yeah. And even so, there's still so many of them left. But to me, it's like the second you start, because the reason Twitter is good, well, good, in quotations. I think Twitter is like one of the worst things to ever happen to human society. But the reason why it functions better than Gab and all these other things is because it's just the social media site.

You know what I mean? Like when you think about Twitter, what do you think is like, oh, it's just like a place where you can go and fucking tweet shit? But with Gab, it's like, it's a politicized platform. It's like, oh, this is the free speech place. So then suddenly you just get all of these like self-serious, like, freaks. And it's just like, it's just like your entire user base is just fucking lunatics who are just like really, really, really paranoid and like really, really intense for no reason. So of course, like, why the fuck would I go there? Like, why the fuck would I, why the fuck would I open up a small business in the middle of the fucking like M.

night Shyamalan's The Village when I could just go to like a populated area and not make it a fucking weird statement. It's like every single, every time I see, because there was like, I saw this one thing of like, oh, it's the left-leaning gab or something. It was like a, it was like gab, but for left-wingers.

And I was just like, this is so stupid. It's just an invitation to all of the worst people to, to just coagulate. in the same place. Yeah, it's stupid. Why do you need this? Especially when there's tools on Twitter to curate things the way that you want them anyway.

Say you want to mute certain people. You want to mute certain words. You can follow specific people. You can protect your tweets. There's so many different fucking things if you actually give a shit. Or you can be like most people and then just ignore dumb shit

and then just have fun with the apps. I felt that before. I felt that before. for a period of time I wanted to get off the internet and then I just realized I just got to make it what I want to make it and now I'm fine I have no problem with Twitter anymore I think Twitter has a problem for a lot of people

because a lot of people can't they can't detach they can't mentally detach and I think that's a problem with like people more or less than the internet I think Twitter exemplifies it but I think it's a person The internet the internet exacerbates it because

I've noticed this very fascinating thing on Twitter lately where everybody on Twitter knows words but very few people I find know how to read it's very strange they know individual words

but like they won't connect them in any way like that meme out of what people are saying well no well that the meme of like you know this is the only app where people can be like I love waffles and somebody would be like

I hate pancakes. Yeah, absolutely. So you're saying you hate pancakes? It's like it really is that. It's like nobody can read anymore. Nobody said that. It's the conflation, the conflate of ideas. And that's that's a product of the internet in general.

That's the product of so many people thinking their ideas matter more than they actually do. Right. But Twitter is the unique problem where it's the same thing as the rest of the internet, except it forces you to be concise, which forces you to, remove specificity. Yeah, absolutely. So if you're just, if you're just a stupid person,

you're just going to be, you're just going to be fucking, like I tweeted this thing a while ago, uh, I at least like, like maybe like a week or two ago about like how like, oh yeah, there,

there are a lot of pro life people that I've met or like spoken to who like, who minimize the, who don't get as angry at school shootings as they get about abortion. This is just like a, you know, a general thing that I've noticed. interpersonally with people that I've spoken to.

And it's like, oh, it's, there's a minimizing of school shootings that happens with certain, certain people. Right. And then they're like, I can't believe you said pro-life people support school shootings. And I'm like, that's not even the word, those aren't even the words in there. Like, it's so fucking confusing because you can read, but you can't connect it. And it's so scary. And that's the death of context.

Well, it's just scary from my good. But the thing is that the death of, it's not even caught because it is. That was context though. That was context. Well, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no. For the person, they cannot perceive the obvious context in front of them. It's not Chris not providing it.

But it's them not absorbing it. But it's because they can't read. And it's because. And I think that, I think that. He read your statement. He changed it to what he wanted. He interpreted it. it in a way that, and this is always, it always offense, right?

He took in offense to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If he didn't take it to a fence to it, it would not have been translated in the other words. Of course. Because it would have been, exactly. And that's what when people, because everyone, everyone cares so much about shit now. And on the internet, you can care about shit and you can be very vocal about it. You can sort of champion things in a way that if you champion it in person, you're like,

yo, calm the fuck down. Like, shut up, dude. Like, I love comic books, right? and I'm very open about my love of comic books. But you don't see me going outside with a shirt that says, I adore comic books. I love She-Hulks big green tities. No, because that's fucking weird.

But on the internet, you could absolutely have a whole page about that, you know? You kind of do that, though. You kind of do that. I don't have a shirt about that. Trust me, I would. Trust me, I would. Don't play me. I would absolutely have a shirt that says,

I love She-Holk's gigantic green breaths. I would absolutely have that. And then her tits or the shirt. Insert her torso. 200% if that was a real. I'll look it up right now and I'll try to buy it. Because I think that's amazing. But it's the idea that people care too much about,

people care too much about little shit. And a lot of people that don't understand that there's more, there's way more than what's going on online. Online shit is important because it's how we get information in a bigger scale of the world. But it's, there's way more than that going on. But all of us, we have the ability of, we existed before.

We had the whole before-ness of the internet. And then some people didn't have huge friend groups or people they really hung out with that are around our age group that are very much so plugged in. But we have like last night, we went, we went to hung out with our friends, right? And we were completely away from the internet mentality.

We were just in our friend groups hanging out doing dumb shit making stupid jokes. Some people don't have that. I never had it before to be able to like, you know, balance their brains out. That's all it is, I'm pretty sure. It's a better, there should be sort of internet consumption classes when internet came out to help people regularly

regulate what goes on in the net and how people fix it. The thing is, I remember, like, this has always been a problem on the internet, right? But I don't remember it being so as ubiquitous as it is. It's because more people use internet now. Yeah. That's probably, that's definitely true. but yeah you don't think uh you don't think because when i whenever i hear like say responding to what you said what the person accused you of when you clearly didn't say that right i always feel like it's

people are unaware of how tribalistic and bias they are to their tribe i feel like that's kind of like the biggest thing that i i just saw something today where a guy wrote a book about critical race theory and how it's like it's poisoning children's minds or some shit like that when it's not being taught to kids in grade school it's a college course critical race theory so my thing is how could you possibly write a book stating that when it's clearly if you did you know literally a minute of research but but how could you even write a book about this the whole point is the argument for that is that the idea the critical race theory the mentality of those things are taught everywhere because of the fact that that's that's let's let's see that's let's

But that's not what he's saying. I know exactly. I know exactly what happens. No, I know exactly what happens here. It's like, somebody has an opinion and they're like, I'm going to write a book about this opinion. And then they research it and then they find those things. And then they're like, oh, well, if I report this, then I no longer have that opinion. And I can't have that.

I can't not have that opinion because I'm writing this book. So they'll just like, they'll forego a lot of, it'll be like, oh, that doesn't work. I agree. Because if I have, if I have to acknowledge that, then the, then it's all. Fucked. And I need to get this out. I think it jumps from Chris, what Chris is saying, it jumps to your point, Sweeney, that these people can't back down because of their tribe.

Right. Because the argument was at first, it was literally the course of critical race theory is being taught in schools. Once I feel like some of these people realize that it's actually not being taught, then it was extrapolated to, oh, it's the mentality. The mentality of this is being spread. They can't be wrong. What they did, what they did is they went from here to here.

When they move the goalpost When this part should be moved out The part about critical race theory is extremely problematic And the basis of it has horribly affected humans, right? So remove that and it's just simply the idea of race is the problem That's where the problem that it's what I'll be real I'll be real I don't know shit about critical race theory It's really stupid

Critical race theory look at critical race theory it's I I don't think I think critical race theory when I have actually taken a look into what is being actually discussed and versus what people who claim to hate it are saying is that it is it may be having an unfortunate effect on some people that feel when they're taught certain things about history they are angry now they are and it's something that I've actually

even talking about when I would talk about movements and people kind of taking advantage of black people during black lives matter because there's a lot of people that were doing kind of indoctrination where they wanted you to be angry. It's not they wanted to teach you things and raise awareness. It was, I want you to be angry about this and turning people angry and or turning people kind of hopeless, kind of stripping hope away from them, saying that you can't get out of your situation unless the white man helps you.

And I was kind of hating that language I was being spread. But if you're typically just without bias teaching people what's happening, teaching people about the history, which what a lot of people are actually just trying to do. A lot of people are claiming that they're trying to teach people that they should feel bad about being white and this, this and that. No, it's just about the reality of what has been happening throughout history. It's been largely swept under the rug and people want, they want you to understand through critical race theory. What has happened? Real fucking history. From what, from what, from what I, I knew critical race theory was, it was the idea of

using race scientifically, which is problematic. And I think that is the problem. That's where like, that's where I disagree with it. I don't know. I don't know. I would say, I would highly suggest anybody listening to this right now, the people involved with creating it who are still live,

though go watch the interviews with them. I would, I would highly suggest, you know, because it's not, this isn't some old theory that someone made like hundreds of years ago. It's fairly new. The people responsible are still living.

But deep. But at the same time... Get it from the horse's mouth, I would say. I would say that. You know what the simple race theory is. Not the critical idea, but the idea of race theory. With the idea that you can dictate behaviors and mannerisms of people simply due to the color of their skin. That is fake.

That is not what... That is not what... No, no, no, no, no. Yes, that's not what critical race theory is. But the idea of using race to scientifically, like, dictate how people will behave. Because that's culture. It's culture that Dix says that for the most part. And it's race that deals with physical features,

but in physical features to be passed on amongst different people. And like, it's a lot of shit that goes into all of that. That's why the idea of race falls apart once you start picking at it with a bigger means of thought. Yeah. Let me give you, just,

we're going to move on to this. I just want to say this real quick. So people, because I feel like there's, I feel like maybe there's a little bit too much confusion, but I just want to read this little description where it says, according to the University of California, Berkeley's Sociality Professor Prudence Carter

Critical Race Theory is a legal framework design by scholars in the 1980s that explains how structural and racial disparities persist in American society. Like, that's very different from, like, you know, from what people are kind of like saying, and what I was trying to say is that it's teaching people, like say about something that I have very, since the subject and when people talk about systemic racism,

because I feel like it's something you kind of have to tiptoe around when you're talking about it because there's people where I said they're trying to kind of stick their closet to people and say that you're fucked essentially. You are systemically oppressed and you're kind of fucked the way that their language is versus the person just saying there's things happening because of systemic racism and I need you to be aware of this. Very different language. It's being aware of something and kind of teaching people that essentially you're oppressed and some people being very impressionable

becoming angry and also feeling very hopeless because now they believe before they didn't believe they were oppressed and that they're fucked now they do and what does that do to somebody when you strip hope from somebody

it kind of kills their fucking drive where they think that because of a systemic racism you'll never make it to the top and some people use that sort of language which fuck some people other people are just saying this shit exists your life isn't fair

you're probably going to have to work harder than white people which I feel like is a fair thing to tell people it's just being real it's a fair assessment it's very fair assessment but what happens is that like this that's that and I think that is the biggest nature of the problem with America we

have still get to properly as a whole country mostly being the people that are in power that can actually severely change and disway these things have not admitted to the huge disparity of several different groups that exist within this country. That's the biggest problem.

Oh, my God. And that's it. Is this two, is two, should we, should we talk about more crack cocaine? Sorry, we got, we got, we got, we got real Zulu. We got real Zulu for a moment. Chris is like, my skin's not dark. I don't know. I don't know where to go with this.

I just, I felt like I was, I felt like I was in school again for a second. So did you, did you actually, did you actually teach a shit like that in school? I'm not actually in college. Oh, in college. In college. Okay, okay. Fair enough. Fair enough.

All right. So Hunter Biden is, uh, is actually one of the leaders of critical race theory. Dang. Yeah. Can you imagine? He's all easy. All right. We got what's up?

We should probably get to questions. Yeah, we got some questions. All right. Let's do it. There's a couple of these that I think are genuinely. I think are genuinely. I think are genuinely are pretty good. This one, I want to really dig into this one.

Because I feel like there's a genuine meaty conversation to be had here. This guy's name is the following. Is it just me or does Sweeney's hatred for furries remind you of how Republicans hate the gays? Not saying he's furries, but, you know. I don't hate furries that much anymore. I'm glad. I'm glad, though, I'm glad furries aren't actually just people. It furies is a thing.

It's crazy because yesterday we had our friend's house, they were clarifying that. Like, I figure of friends are like, no, they're different. And I'm like, what? What's happening? If furries were, if furries was just, for example, and ethnicity of people that hailed from a specific region, then I'd be like, why do you hate them so much, sweetie? But no, it's just homo sapiens with stupid costumes on. I wish my hair looked like this. Where was down this much over that.

You're disgusting. Listen. Down this guy. Anyway, this guy, shut up, shut up. This guy asks, he asked, hello, come. Who do you think would win if every animal gained human intelligence? Bugs. Bugs?

Yeah, they're so small. They're so small. They can literally just invade people's bodies. Ants, like if, ants? Bands would win. The amount of ants they're all in the world is just a, it's paralyzing. It's a stupid number.

It'll scare you if you think about how many there are. But do you think that maybe it's like, well, here's the thing too. It's like, it's, oh man, this is, this is tricky because certain, there are certain, like, hive mind animals that would, like, be really, like, you can't have human intelligence and a hive mind, I don't think. Well, no, the hype mind is just have human intelligence

at the moment, like the main one to have human intelligence and then it would just be a bunch of as smart things walking around. Because it's from in a hive. I don't know. I feel, I feel like with millions of ants, with all with, like, let's say a human psyche and intelligence is placed in

the brain of every ant. I don't, I don't know if they'd be able to really work together in the same way. I think they would be. They would enough. Let's think about, let's think about, I don't want to get political again, but let's think about something as stupid as January 6th.

You can convince enough people to do some really dumb shivery. For real. I guess. Humans aren't that bright. We're brighter than those things by quite a bit, but we're not that smart, bro. We've all personally seen people do dumb shit, bro. I like the theory that aliens designed us

to be smart enough to build awesome shit. but also stupid enough to be easily controlled. There's like a real theory about that. And I'm like, I got a plausible to me. Like some, you know, like the handsome squid where people just jizzed in the water and then they like, the DNA that was concocted was like, these guys are going to be pretty smart, not nearly as smart as us,

not nearly as beautiful as us. But they're also, I can convince these people to drink cyanide lace Kool-Lade. That's like, those two things that should not conflict in a mind that can build fucking rocket ships and learn complex equations, you can also convince them to fucking kill themselves.

That's crazy. Do animals, do animals, do non-human animals commit suicide? Well, like intentionally. They die. So check this out. So check this out. There was a lot of antidepressant runoff in the water.

And shrimp were being affected by it largely, and they were killing themselves. By swimming up to the, service to be eaten. So that's pretty nuts, right? Well, I know, I know that, I know that like apes, sometimes in a, um, apes baby dies, the ape waits

with the baby until they starve and die, because they're so sad. There was the, the, which one was the, uh, what, why don't they simply eat the baby? Because it's their baby. I also saw, I also saw a video. I also saw the first video because for a long time people

thought apes were vegetarians. So people were like, why do they have fangs? They were like, really confused. about and then there was this one time where one a scoop of apes attacked another group of eights and then they ate the baby ape and the ape got really sick and it got really really really really got really really

sick because for probably for like five years of its life it was eating like maybe termites and ticks and then roughyage and then it ate an ape and it got like wildly sick and it was like oh shit I shouldn't do that again

oh my god so yeah i guess it would be i guess it would be probably insects i was thinking more like i was thinking like if you if you if you had to take insects off the board okay okay like if you just to make it a little bit more interesting because i think about like mammals we're like mammals reptiles birds like animals think of what an electric eel could do if it real had a real mind to put itself to shit because like that because like that is the most fantasy like sci-fi animal to me other than obviously like cephalopods and shit, you know, but like an electric eel can produce its own noticeable electrical current.

Like if you touch one, it will hurt you and you'll let go of it. So like imagine if they were like, yo, let's really think about like what we can do. Because like already being able to do that is like insane already. But like what if they really put themselves to like to task? Well, their effectiveness would be really, really. It's... Urban Aaron make vibrant soft merino knitwear right here in Ireland.

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slash advantage card to save on every stamp you stick and every parcel you send. OnPust Commerce, a world closer. CES applied. It would be kind of like ocean locked, wouldn't it? Not ocean locked because it's not, because they can live in the ocean. I don't live in the ocean, right?

But imagine they like, they got to like, they somehow got the idea that like, yo, let's make all the fucking, all the electricity in the world shut down. And they're like gathered together and they started like chanting. And then like it's set like a wild current out through the world. Like the, because like electricity controlling is like not very far from like EMP shit, which is not very far from my,

in a scientific scale. Maybe not in what they can do, but like... Well, what I'm saying is, like, I feel like the... I feel like it's rats. Right. I feel like it's rats. I feel, because they're small, their skeletons, they can, like, squeeze under, like, insane services.

They can get anywhere. They have hands. Whatever as big as their head is, yeah. They have fucking hands. They can eat through walls. They can fit, like, anywhere they want to. They carry disease that specifically affects everything else around them. Like, I feel like if rats sincerely understood, like, oh, we could just eat these wires.

And then suddenly- Bermintide. It would be fucking vermin-tide. Yeah, like, I think, like, I think rats could launch a nuke better than probably any other animal could. If they were smart and they work together. I don't know. There's rats. They're viable. They're definitely up there.

Birds can fly. So, like, if they can fly. so like if they can fly and they're also hollow barn yeah but a bird can still pick up things but imagine birds with guns man yeah imagine that's a parent

falcon it dives on it shoots you flies the way up again you're like what the fuck we can't stop them that would be scary I feel like it would be more likely there are two guns you know with their with their fucking freedom

can you imagine can you imagine like a fucking like a like a like a falcon like pulling the pin off of a grenade and leaving it and just like winging it into a fucking orphanage or some shit that's insane

dude they're scary man they're not they're not to be like taken lightly there's birds there's there's what else what else could be a problem um I mean just like I feel like um I think one of the most intimidating

things would be bears because you know how like when the expression when they stand up on their hind legs now imagine a bear with a bazooka but bears are so few and so few and far away They're just like, but, but just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just thinking, well, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just talking about intimidation factor. I'm not even talking about taking over anymore. I bet if, I bet if bears, I bet if bears had human intelligence, they would, most of them would be hermets, I think.

I feel like they would, like, they would bother us. They'd be like, in the middle of the woods. And they would probably like, they would hold like big ass fucking Final Fantasy Buster swords. And they'd be like, get away from me. Stay back. Like, bears already enter people's home. I think they'll just move in at this point. They'd be like, you know what? I like this place.

And then what are you going to do? They'll be like, get out. Get out of here. Seriously. There's mine now. They'll be like, wow, high ceilings and a two-bedroom, two-and-a-half bath. This is mine. I'll take it. And then when the landlord comes to be like, you need to pay rent, he's going to be like, yeah, you know, I could just, you know, with one swipe your face is gone. Like the bear.

The bears would be respectful enough to go, wake up everybody in the house, get everybody down and cook something for them eating. Like, hey, guys, I'm living here. not you. So you guys have until the morning, you guys, and go back to sleep. I'm going to go back to my den, grab my stuff, bring it here, but you guys have to leave. I like that he has stuff. He's like real respectful. He's cordial, you know?

Could you imagine if dogs became sentient? I think if we lost dogs as a human race, a lot of people would off themselves as they'd be too sad without dogs. I think that would like send like real serious ripples through humans. Oh, probably. Because I think now as a species, we need their companionship, actually. Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right. Like dogs are like, we're doing our own thing.

We'll be like, please, if you leave, I'll get too sad to work. Please don't leave. What about, uh, please? Yeah, I don't know. All right. Yeah, there's a lot of them. Yeah, there's probably a lot of them. We'll leave it there.

I wonder what like... Maybe dolphins? No, they're already kind of just... They're already teetering on that edge and they're just rapists. So it's not that big of a deal. I don't think they're close as smart as this, but I think they're smart for them, for the animals. Yeah, well, that, I mean, that's what closest means.

It doesn't mean that, you know what I mean? They're the closest available. Aside from like chimps, I guess, because that's just what we are. Just chimps use guns and shit like that. Chips can use the rules. Do you guys think Harambe would have been as big of a meme if his name was like Jim the ape or like, or if it wasn't Harambe? His name definitely did have to fight for him. No, Harambe rolls off the tongue so beautifully.

It wouldn't have been. Yeah. I'll be honest, every once in a while I sing, you know the song, I'm here without you, baby. There's a, there's a cover of it. I'm here without Harambe. Yeah. Of course. Of course there.

That's what I mean. It's like that name is so funny. inherently that like even if it even if it had like a similarly like a musing name even if it was like oh swindles the ape or like fucking or charlie the gorilla or something you know what i mean it's like yeah that would have been in that would have been in the news for like certainly like at least like a like a like a like a month or two maybe three uh it would have been you know what i think it would have been like the balloon boy do you remember that the boy in 2009 the balloon the balloon we never actually got in a balloon oh yeah yeah it's like my son he's in a fucking he's in a

little weather balloon and we don't know how to get him down and he was in the attic the whole time. That, I feel like it would be like that where it's like, yeah, that's a footnote in internet history, but no one thinks about it anymore or it never comes up again. But like Harambe as a name, I feel like really. Yeah, Habambi definitely helped him out. His name being Habami. Jim the ape wouldn't have gotten 10,000 votes in the 2016 election.

That was one of the most depressing moments in my life when I found that out. I was like this. That is what... I wish I had your life. That is when... It proved to me that we don't deserve to be here anymore, and there's something should be able to us. That's every time I have an argument with anybody. I feel that.

Like, they should, they should us. We should be, we should be taken out the fight. Maybe. All right, let's move on. I farm, I farm horses for their milk, in quotations, Rodin. He says, hello, Chad Roach Annihilator, the Virgin Pest sympathizers. The virgin pestima Stupid

Just because we don't Can don't fucking pest torture Okay, all right That was a surprisingly divided reaction That we got from the other It was way more on your side than I was happy to admit I was like damn These people all probably wear glasses

And are small too I saw somebody I saw somebody I saw somebody Who was who was Who was talking Oh man I can't even remember

everybody was like, uh, why is Chris, this, is somebody like, oh, it explains why Chris doesn't mind killing fetuses.

And I was like, damn right. That's so stupid. Bro, that's so stupid, bro. Doesn't that say more about him than you? Literally.

Oh yeah. Literally. It's a very weird. He's, he's putting fetus on the same thing as fucking roaches. Is that, is that, that's what I thought was funny too.

But I also think like, yeah, fetus is about. that is much of... That's about the same. Anyway. I can't stay in. We're not here to redo that conversation again.

Semi long time listener of the podcast, first time patron here, welcome. I very much enjoy hearing you guys go on long-winded rants about animals. So my question, well, you're going to love this episode then, I guess. So my question pertains to that. What is an animal fact that you have learned

that has fucked you up the most? I.e. a kidnap is having a foreheaded penis, certain jellyfish being a more. mortal Octopi being about as intelligent as a human toddler, etc. Thanks for keeping me sane while I drive six hours a day for my job. Keep up the batch of crazy content. Thank you and welcome aboard. Six hours a day.

I can, that's a lot, man. You better be getting paid well, bud. Yeah. You better. So I'll talk to them for you. I have an immediate answer for this. What is it for you?

For the moment I, the moment I realized how quick hippos were. despite their size. Yeah, that's a, that's a, that's a, fuck me up a bit. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, especially in water, because you look at them and you're like, look at this fat fuck with this like fat, stumpy little bitch legs. And it's like dumb face that looks like, it looks like a. It's stupid teeth, man.

Yeah, and it's like, you look at it and you think like, oh, that's a lumbering animal. You think it's like, oh, it's, you know, it's, it's like, it's like the berserker. Like maybe it can, maybe go fast when it needs to. But, like, for the most. part it's just like a lumbering creature. And then you see a hippo swim like 200 miles an hour in the water and you're like, what the fuck is this? When you realize that most animals are very fast compared to us, that shit fucked me up.

Because I thought bears were slow because they were big. Like my brain was like, oh, bears are slow because they're big. That's why bears are slow. And I thought also lions were slow. Have you seen a lion run at someone? I don't know why you would think a lion's slow. Because my brain, my little brain was like big things don't move fast. That's what I thought.

Like a tiger. But no, no, no, no, no. Because my brain, my brain thought that it was the human rules of propulsion were on animals. That's what my brain thought. Also, when I found out that humans, in fact, run much, can potentially outrun in a sense of not outpaced, but outpace, not outrun. Outpace most animals. It's insane. people are built to run long enough to catch other monster animals so like the massive monsters

because my brain conflates animals with beasts and monsters but like a human can run and then will sweat and since we're sweating we're able to like sort of get the waste out of us and keep going so we can catch ourselves down so we don't fucking pass out so we can well yeah fucking a cheetah isn't running that a cheetah isn't running that quickly for the majority of its time You know, like, it's like, it's like a cheetah. You imagine like just like putting a drone over Africa and you just see these like blips, just like speeding through the fucking wilderness? Just running, running noticeably enough that like, you know when you're using your GPS and your car isn't moving fast. But then like when you're using it, your car is moving really fast through like a large scale.

And you're like, whoa, we're moving fucking quick. And it is a cheetah just running through the savannah, like running up and down, ripping and running through. and you're like, whoa, they're horrified. Yeah. I think another one, too, is another one is about people, really. And the idea that, like, when I, I think when we're younger, we kind of go through this, or like, maybe we see it in like a, I don't know, in a cool teacher's classroom or, like, on the internet or something, we're like, oh, here's an optical illusion and you stare at it

and it starts moving, you know, like, it's like, oh, even though it's, it's ostensibly just a drawing, like, a singular, like, non-moving image. it like your brain makes it move. Uh-huh. When I really thought about that, it really bothered me because it means that your brain just fucking hallucinates potentially all the time. And I hate that. Oh.

Very deeply. For me, for sure, it's when I realized that, um, cuttlefish or coo-fish, they can change the texture of themselves. Oh, yeah, they can change the texture of their skin. Or they can strobe like their bodies and, confuse other fishes. That's real. Yeah.

That's a molecular control. That's the power. That's a marvel power. Yeah, we've talked about this before a long time ago, but I've always just been impressed with the strength of primates. Like, like, just apes or just, it doesn't, when you look at them, you're like, come on. How are you? There's a video that's been circulated around recently of this guy, uh, nerega tank grabbing a

guy. And the guy can't get off. He's saying he's freaking out. Like it grabs the shirt first. He's like, and then like the other guy's trying to help. There's another guy on the outside of the cage trying to help him. So then the orangutan takes to grab the other guy.

So the other guy fucks off. And then the oregano can start grabbing the guy's legs. It's so fucking funny because you know at any moment he could just bite him, pull him apart. He can just bite him. And his bite is infinitely stronger. The way their fangs look is in. insane, bro. They have such big fangs, all like, other, other, like, great apes. Because, like, the idea. They're such a stupid face, but they're so terrifying if they grab you.

I love, I love this video. Like, I'm watching it now. It grabs his leg. Yeah, it grabs his leg after the shirt. And then he's like, he's freaking, he's so terrified. Because of what he could do. My favorite thing about these videos is always just, it rotates him. Like, it, I love this video so much because, like, the sounds people make when they're in these, in these situations, it converts immediately back to like little child. It's like, ah, ah,

it's no, you know, you know how strong this thing is. It can like, it can do to me what it pleases. And you, you don't know. That's what's so scary.

They can do to me what it pleases. Anything it thinks of, it can do to me. It's literally insane, dude. They're like, to me, that's more terrifying than the bear just coming and mauling you. Because, like,

you know what the bear is going to, to do, the bear's going to just maw me. It's going to eat my face. Seeing gorillas toss other gorillas is insane to me. Because gorillas are like, they're like noticeably strong for their size. Like gorillas are powerful.

They're like strong. At least you can tell that they're powerful. At least you can tell. You can tell they're strong, but they're way stronger than they seem still. That's very true. It's very true. They're even stronger than they look. But orangutang looks like a fat fucking lazy man. Or like a chimpanzee. Chimpanzees look all live and shit. And then they pick somebody up and they rip you. But specifically, I remember there was a stupid show called like Man versus Beast or whatever on Fox. This stupid show, there was a there was a like a big sumo guy doing a tug of war with an orangutan. The orangutan is just chilling with the rope in its hand. And then the guy's pulling with all of its might. And then the orangutan realizes what's happening. And then the orangutan realizes what's happening.

And it's like visibly annoyed and then just jerk some like any goes flying. It's just like it's it's so not even close that I'm like that thing should not be that strong. It looks so lazy. And it's so because you bait we base it off the way we're built. So we're built like we're built in a certain way. But what happens is that the mechanics of like muscle tissue and all that shit is different based on things.

That's why there are cheetahs that look like. like they're starving, but they'll jump in the air and pull a full fucking gazelle out there with its head only. And you're like, what the fuck? Why is this animal so strong? It's, or like the idea of how strong like cats are, like cats levitating up when they jump. And it's like, why can they do that? It's just the game is, the game is so. Cats, cats walking up, cats walking up vertical inclines always freaks me out. Like, there's something like, the fact that they can just climb a vert, like a flush vertical surface fucking confuses me. Like I don't, it. It's a I'm watching, I'm just watching videos.

I'm watching videos of gorillas punching each other right now. And there's this one where he's just like, yeah, he just tosses a fucking gorilla. Another gorilla gets flung by another gorilla. You're like, what? Yeah, and it's like, wow. You ever see that video of putting a mirror in front of like a gorilla habitat? And it's slapping the fuck out of the floor.

It's slapping the floor is like, stop. The floor is like, please stop. You're hurting me. I've never seen that. It's fucking fantastic because it's like It's uh it's I think that it shows a few different things at all there's maybe even different videos like they put mirrors in different So listen what the chimpanzee does see what the gorilla does let's see what the cat does I think the cat was like filling itself It was like oh shit I think it was like a like a Puma or something and it was like oh this pretty dope you know

But like the gorilla was fucking like challenged like boom slapping the ground I love that slap in the ground shit dude It's hitting the ground is insane bro if the gorilla slap the person like that he would turn off. He would pass out at least, at least he's passing out with a lot of pain. At most he erupts. And most of the gorilla hits it and his

hand goes follows to do and still hits the floor because the body gets flattened. It's insane dude. They're so strong. His eyes are popping out of his head the way your cock pops out of Trump's mouth. There's a little

there's a... They shoot out. It's insane, dude. Excuse me. Apes are so fucking magnificent. Because gorillas aren't violent naturally. They're actually pretty chill. Like a gorilla,

they'll adopt a human until they're like their group. And a human can just come and chill with them. Like, they're usually not that violent. But when they get angry, they get mad. They have so much just power inside of them. As well,

years ago, remember I talked about, uh, giving gorillas. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. We need to do it. No.

We need to see, we need to maximize their human, their, their, their, their, their, their,

their, their, their, sapian potential. We need to do it. Why are we going to get that to them? Because guerrillas,

gorillas don't know how to use steroids the way that, like, they'll be able to healthily live while they're doing that. All we're going to do is give them a bunch of crazy muscle,

fuck up their tendons, and then one girl is going to punch other gorilla and kill it. And it's going to be like, Whoa, this isn't cool. And then the scientists are going to be clapping. Like, you know, you know, like when they, you launch a shuttle and you see the space control, you see fucking like Houston or whatever all clapping and shit. When the gorilla just slaps another gorilla's head off, they're all going to be slap.

They're all clapping and cheering. Like, we fucking did it, guys. We did it. We did it. Now what are we going to do with this extremely powerful grill that we can't put in cages? What are we going to do with it? They're going to put it in the fucking gulag like the demig. They're going to feel.

Oh, my God. And it's going to be just apes. Instead of the Demi-Gorgon, there's apes. I would be so much more afraid. Yeah, right? It's like Donkey Kong. They dress them like Donkey Kong too. They give them a tie and that's it.

That's it. Introducing Donkey Kong and it's just fucking jacked ass ape comes out. And you're like, what the fuck is that? I just, I can't be in that situation. And they dress the prisoners like Diddy Kong. They give you, they dress the prisoners like ditty. And all you got to do And you got to do is you got to survive

That's so terrible These gorillas are also much faster than we are too They don't look like they are Also we're like oh gorillas look slow They're not slow compared to us Like muscle is so deceiving It's like you can see like a sprinter right Like somebody who's like a fairly moderate shape

And then you can see somebody in the NFL That is just a giant chuck of meat And he will smoke the sprinter Like the guy who thinks he's fast And then there's the fucking guy that's running 30 miles an hour in the fucking NFL Well I mean he's a little juice too The way the way they look is the way sprinters look is insane Because you think like long distance runners are always like thin like really lively people

But then sprinters are fucking muscular people and I'm like why are they so muscular You say they're pretty they're fucking jack bro Yeah exactly they have to be very muscular I guess that was a bad comparison because they are pretty muscular I was thinking of like Not a sprinter Like I guess a long distance runner Versus somebody in a NFL or a sprinter

Yeah right right Anyway let's move on We've been talking about this bullshit version Yeah That guy's gonna This is probably his favorite episode at this point We're just been renting right animals For fucking 30s 30 minutes

You think how many hits Do you think you can give an eight before you Like if you got the punch a gorilla Until it died right How many of your hits How many of your hits you think I could I think I could punch a gorilla Until it would it take to kill it

I don't think I could hit a gorilla until it died. I think it would take like 10 of my punches. Like 10 max power punches. You're fucking wiling, dude. You are fucking stupid. Like, 10. Like, because I, look, I think, I think with two punches I could kill somebody.

If I got two solid punches, now, gorillas are much stronger, but I'd have to be able to deliver punches at that level of strength 10 times, which I can't. I can't do that. My hands will start hurting. There's professional fighters. There's professional

fighters that train all their lives that cannot kill people by hitting them but Sweeney thinks he can do it to a gorilla like Derek Derek Derek Derek do you think if he got to get hit him square in the temple if he got to hit somebody square in a temple he could kill them cutted somebody in his jaw so hard and he's still alive he thinks that's not to kill kingson I need you I he's not he's trying to he hit him as hard as he could I don't I think he's trying to kill him, bro. I can't believe, I can't believe you're even entertaining this idea.

That's pretty awesome. I love it. I love it. I love it. I think, okay, I think I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go high. We're gonna set it up.

We're gonna set it up. We're gonna set it up. We're gonna set this up. We're gonna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna do that, though. I don't really want to do that. We're gonna call the San Diego Zoo.

We're gonna call the Kansas zoo. We're gonna be totally down for this. They're gonna be like, I don't, I don't think, I don't think fucking Floyd Mayweather could kill a gorilla with punches. He's not a hard hitter. He's not a predominantly hard hitter. No, anything. Anyone, any person.

I don't think there's a person strong enough to kill a gorilla with a punch. Not a single punch, no, no one. Any number of punches. I think you can. I think they will shatter their hand on a gun. Before you literally. They will shatter their hand before they do it. But I think if you can get someone to deliver the level,

a maximum level of punches consistently as if they weren't taking damage from delivering the punches. So a complete, so a complete, a complete impossible means of doing it. But if you got like, like, like 10 times, like 10 of his most powerful hits, like he kicks his leg up and everything. I think, I think you could hit a gorilla, you could hit a gorilla in the head with a car probably and it would be fine. It would die. It would die. It would be hurt. It wouldn't die. I think Francis Ngano, his head would, his hand would explode just like anybody else's head would explode on a garage. Yes. Yes.

but if his hand and structure was indomitable. And for some reason, his, the guerrillas would not recover from the damage it's taken. Like, if we had a lot of hypothetical moments to add to it. Your conditions make it like, your conditions makes Francis a superhuman and a gorilla a pussy. Not a pussy. I need you to understand. Hold on, one. Kingston.

I need you to understand this because I just looked this up. How strong can a gorilla punch? Oh, way stronger. No, but what I'm saying is like, we've seen grillas punch all the gorillas. Yeah, guerrillas fight each other all the time. And they have apparently enough between 1,300 to 2,700 pounds of, of PSI. That's insane.

So you are, you don't stand a fucking chance. Oh, I know I don't. Like, I'm not saying I could be one. With infinite, with infinite stamina, infinite number of, infinite number of punches, the gorilla, the gorilla, could be sitting there motionless. I don't think motionless. You can't kill him. I don't.

I think I could. It would be a lot, though. It would be a lot. You're so out of pocket. Obviously, I'm going to kill it. If you stab someone in the arm with a toothpick for two years,

eventually their arm will bleed. I like, eventually they'll bleed enough. Yeah, King said, because they're being, they're taking damage. Yes. You are not damaging that gorilla.

I think I can damage to gorilla. I agree. It would be minuscule. Your punch. Your punch to that gorilla would be way, way less than if I stabbed you with a toothpick. I don't think. I don't think it would be way less. Absolutely.

It would be negligible. Sweetie, let's put it this way. Do you think a two-year-old could eventually punch a grown adult to death? Eventually in a long, long, long, long time. The two-year-old will get bored. Its hand will break. The person will move. Like a lot of things will just stop it from happening, obviously.

But like, you know, there's my favorite conversation. But, you know, there's like moments. when you're like playing with a two year old and then it like open hand hits you and you're like that didn't hurt a lot but like I felt that kid definitely hit me you know obviously obviously it doesn't do like remarkable damage to you but you're like I actually notice this little piece of shit like a little piece of shit just hit me open hand like what the fuck those kind of interactions like obviously we've never seen a gorilla throw a punch with proper form if it did that it would be something outrageous it'd be like whoa like it's it's so crazy to like even like what

Donkey Kong throws a real punch. Everyone's like, holy shit, that punch is wild. But the idea is that, like, you got to, if, if a lot of impossible stipulations were met to allow this moment to actually exist. No, but what I'm saying is, what I'm saying is that you, your rules sort of imply that people have HP. Like, you're operating off of HP rules. We're like, oh, a mosquito bite is 0.5 HP.

Oh, no, not exactly like that, but we can take only so much damage before we kill over, you know? No, but what I'm saying is like there's a certain, but that's not how anything, that's not how that works. Chris, Chris, it is absolute how it works. It's not as numerical. It's not as numerical as HP, but at a certain point, if a car is moving fast enough, it'll do enough damage that it will straight kill you. Right. But what I'm saying is like, you punching it isn't damage. That's what I'm saying.

You cannot damage a gorilla. I can. Is this not a lot? Not at all. It would be like saying, like, you could, if you lightly dropped a leaf on a mouse, two million times, it would die. Like, it wouldn't. It's a leaf.

Because it's a leaf, obviously. But if I'm punching, if I'm punching this gorilla. I'm not a leaf. I'm like, at most, a cat's claw. I'm like a little cat's claw. Little cat's claw. It's like a girl, like a, like a, like a, a girly person. It's like, oh, this is annoying at best.

So you think a cat could slap a man to death? A cat could claw a man until he rips him open eventually. No, no, no, but that's weapons. I'm not arguing, but I'm not arguing that a cat could slap him at death. I'm arguing that I'm the idea of I'm a little claw. Like, I'm a little something that though it's not doing a lot of damage, it's doing something. And eventually, it may be, it may be 5,000 hours. I'll kill it.

I just want to end the show now and just post this now to see you like. Because I'm so curious. This clip needs to go up. It's insane. I'll edit this part out and I'll freak in what you call. I'll throw it up on the Stark tank. Just everybody's like, what the fuck, dude? Like, what the fuck?

It sounds stupid. I think it's possible. I don't think, I don't think, obviously, in a rudimentary sense, if I punch a gorilla, the gorilla's probably going to notice I punch it, then pick me up and throw me in the air real high and leave. And I'll hit the ground and die. These stipulations that need to happen are so fucking. There's so many stupid stipulations. I know, but it's unreal.

It's like somehow your hand doesn't break. Somehow the gorilla is just trapped in a place where it's getting it. You would need infinite stamina. You would need to not take damage from the punches. Yeah, there's no recoil. You would need a consistent stream of punches for years. You would need the ability to not get tired. Yes, you would.

Not years. That's crazy. Years? You would need years. Years. And you would need the gorilla to have osteoporosis or something. Like something that would like make its bones like supreme. Like like definitely like a lot because because the thing about this is that once you throw a hard punch,

you're not going to be able to throw a punch that hard. Again, you know, you're already using some of your, you're, you would tap the energy pool, you know? You use it. Your man is well. So like you're not going to be able to throw a haymaker or a cross body punt. That's the strongest one. Like a cross body punch is the strongest, technical strongest punch you can deliver as a person. punches whatever punch kills him.

So, like, it's the idea of, like, you're not going to be able to throw a fucking Michael J. White cross-body punch 45 times to kill an eight before your hand pops, or you fucking just get tired, you know, you're not going to be able to do that. You might be able to, like, maybe, maybe punch a tooth out. Maybe. I think, I think, which would, by the way, cut you and kill you, probably. I think, I think you'd hit it, you'd hit it, like. Let's move on

Let's move on We have some more questions That we want to get to One way to find out I'm gonna call San Eagle Zoo I'm gonna call San Diego Zoo We'll arrange it On this

Yeah The next live show in Vegas We're gonna get We're going to have a whole intro Don't do this We're swingie punches a gorilla And we'll see what happens That's so not cool

That's so not cool at all Me just beating up a gorilla And I'm like I don't want to do this And they're like We bought the grill out here For you to beat it till it dies Alright

It's no longer any food They're afraid It has no longer home We gave its bed Another gorilla You got to kill it. Yeah, he got a back your words on, man. Damn, bro.

Uh, p, pa, pa, pa, pa, let's see. Sad. Gay for Kay, Rodin. And he says, Gay for, can Swinney kill a gorilla? Yeah. That also was a question. Jordan the B,

Jordan the B stands for Budplug Peterson, uh, wrote in. He says, hello. Nice. First of all, thank you for letting me marinate in my, and, uh, marinate my brain in this cauldron of fettered.

a fettered bong water of a podcast for the last few years I've been listening since the Jakey episode and it's been a delight thank you man that's really early

it's like one of the first I wasn't even part of the thing yet yeah that was before like it was like the first five episodes so it's sick anyway down to the nitty gritty

a freak cosmic incident forced the three of you to swap consciousnesses with each other how would you wreak havoc in each other's bodies no oh man

where would I start If I was Sweeney, I would immediately run to the zoo and just start fucking hitting every hour. And then just let me get killed. If I was Chris, I would just start saying the N-word a lot. Like way too comfortably. Like way too comfortably. Like way too comfortably. And like I'd be really aggressive about it too.

But, uh... Oh, man. How, I don't know. That's pretty, that's pretty evil. That's a pretty evil thing you just did. Pretty cool. Because you've essentially just destroyed my. life probably. I want to show you life, bro. You're Puerto Rican. You guys can argue that.

We can argue. That's right true. Non- You're from New York, dude. Non-black. You can say it. I can say it. It's different for, look, as a Puerto Rican person and a black person, Hispanics that are not from New York are different than Hispanics that are from New York. Hispanics that are from New York, you can't tell them they're not black people. They don't understand that argument. You're like, I'm black. You're crazy. the rules. Like Fat Joe he's black in his mind. You can't convince him he's not a black person. If you tell him he's not

black, he's not black like he literally doesn't understand what you're saying. You sound like a Charlie Brown parent or something. And he's like, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, and he's like, nigga, what? Nick, what you say? Nigel, what you say? I don't understand what you say. It's a different thing. Like, Dominicans, Puerto Ricans and Cubans from over there, they, they mix with black folks so much as it's not a difference. I understand.

But Mexicans are weird. Look, you just can't apologize, that's all. Here's the thing. I, I know that I know what I can say and what I can't say. I know that I don't have a problem saying that.

But you would go the X, you would find, Oh, yes, I would go too far. You would go the, you would find the, you would find the most fluorescent lighted room. Uh, the most like,

you'd like lower the saturation to make. make me even wider. And then you'd say the hard ER 40 times. I would say, I would type it out to people. Like, it'd be like a greeting. Like,

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, act man would tweet something.

And I would just tweet out the end word in the response. And everybody's like, yeah, and you're like, what? Because I used to, I used to, I used to tweet the soft A all the time.

Like, if it's like, who fuck cares. But, but I, I, I, that's fucked up.

Like, that would fuck me up, I think. Like, if you just went on, If you went on video, if you went on video and we're just like, hard our, hard, hard our, hard in like, in my whitest appearance. The thing is that that would require too much, that would require too much context for it to, like,

my, everything's over. But give him a Macklemore haircut and shit. Yeah, yeah. You can't apologize. You got to say it and be like, I'm stoic about this. I said the N word. Yeah, at that point, you just have to be like, I'm this now. This is me now.

This is me. You gotta commit to it. You can't. There's no going back. You like that punk-ass black bitch. You're that guy. Yeah, like no one's coming after him, even though there's no way he should be saying that. You know?

You should be saying it all. If I was, oh man, if I was in Sweeney's body, I would like, I think I would just, hmm. I think I would do, I would try and cause as much damage internally as possible. I think I would like eat I think I would like eat like In like I would have like airheads for breakfast I would I would like Whenever I would I would like play a video game

And like get angry and then stomp the ground real hard So that my knees weaken What is wrong with you? You're trying to kill me You're you just trying to cancel me Chris no I'm trying to open you up To a whole other demographic Of people that are gonna fuck with you

Yeah You actually would probably You would probably actually Roe Way more rich and successful I'd definitely be like risk You'd grow way more. You'd be like on rap tracks.

Can you believe who cancels who? We'll see. Up yours, woke moralists. We'll see who cancels who. You'd be like accepted by the black community entirely on Twitter because you're not afraid to say the N-word. Black Twitter accepts you. All the ones that are part of the Daily Wire now. Exactly, bro.

You'd be fucking, you'd be hanging out with fucking Dave Rubin again. Like, it'd be fucking amazing, dude. Oh, my best friend, Dave Rubin. I think there's a question. Wait, I think there's a question about... Oh, I hope so. Oh, Nikki Ziggi wrote in. Oh, hell. Shout to Nikki Ziggi.

Go ahead. We're seeing her later, right? Yeah, we are hanging on with her Saturday. Isn't that? That's interesting. Oh, yeah, it's Saturday. I keep thinking... I keep thinking every day is today for some reason.

Nikki Ziki wrote in and says, Hey, guys, when the conservatives completely take over the country, or at least continue trying, and they outlaw gay marriage and LTP rights, do you think Dave Rubin will still praise the right? and say how his hubby and and how his how his hubby and children hate gays like him

I yes but here's the difference he has the money to move out of the country so yes he will move and then continue doing his hateful self-loathing red he'll go to Canada he'll go to Canada and he'll be like yeah

just like all the Canadian commentators they all have so much to say about America I love it dude I've seen this nigger I've seen this multiple times be praising Chick-fil-A and I'm like what is wrong with you dude the CEO thinks you're an abomination and you're like this fucking i love this company you know the thing i love chis-fil-a bro i love chick-fil-a no i'm not gay but the company he's like he's repping with the company though he's like it's not even about the fucking food

no but he doesn't even sandwich a chick-fil-a fuck that shit he doesn't even like it he doesn't even like it that much because like he's he's explicitly said multiple times or i think there was a point where he was like man chick-fil-a took the l on this you remember when they when uh there was like this whole thing. With the Popeye sandwich and their sandwich? No, I think there was like a thing where they stopped donating to a thing or something. Oh, right, right. You're right. I remember that. I think Chick-fil-A stopped donating to a conversion therapy center. And Dave Rubin was like,

this, I can't believe they would, I can't believe they would, you know, it's not that exactly. I'm exaggerating for the purpose of a joke. But it was something like that where like they just announced that they weren't going to be supporting something anymore. And he was like, I can't believe. Oh, man. uh, Chick-fil-A really like, bent the knee or something. Or like, it's like,

anytime, like, he'll be like, oh, I can't believe Disney's doing this. I'm canceling my Disney Plus subscription. And he's tweeted that exact tweet like 40 times. It's like,

it's just so embarrassing. Remember back of the day. Just admit. You don't care. Like, I don't care either. Like, like,

I don't, Chick-fil-A could be frying people in the back. And I'd be like, man, maybe I'll get it less. These nuggies are pretty good. If I've said this before, I've said this before on the,

I've said this before on the podcast, if my favorite pizza place in New York came out and said, we wish for the death and extermination of all Puerto Rican people, they are less than they deserve death. I would be like, damn. I couldn't do that. I'd be like, fuck, man. I have to wear a mask when I,

go there now. I couldn't do that. Could you do that, Derek? So here's, here's the thing. Damn, this motherfucker is that you. Here's, here's the thing. Good food is fucking half of the joys of life for me, man. For real, it is. Here's the thing, I'm never showing my face of that establishment, that's for sure. Um, but, but I will grubhubhub. Yeah, you know, I'm grubbing that slut. But I want to say something, I would say something that's actually really clever. This is really clever. It was, uh, it was on that movie Clerks too. There was like a scene where the, uh,

one of the clerks perceived as racist and there was a black couple, you know, and the woman was like, fuck it, we're not eating here and stuff. And the dude was like, you can't taste racism, baby? Trying to convince her that like, we can still eat this because it's food.

You can't taste racism. I was like, that's a good argument. I could not. I could not do that. I could not in my... Well, the thing is there's already, there's already an insanely

huge moral hypocrisy and all of the food we eat anyway. because they like rape cows and fucking torture chickens and like do all this fucking shit. I've seen that shit first person and that shit is sad. It's good point. Because you don't have to do it that way. But it's the ideas that like, you know, like they're not, they're not killing it with hatred though. They're not, they're slaughtering them brutally.

They're brutally slaughtering them. But they're not murdering them. They're not like, because they're slaughtering them in a very brutal manner. Like they don't have to go about like that. Well, it's very. You may, no, no, it is murder. It's not murder. It's not murder. It's not murder. It's a type of murder.

That's the same. It's the same thing. Slaughter. There is a premeditated reason why they're killing these things. Well, no, they're slaughtering them to eat. You're not killing it. No one, you're not killing a cow just to fucking kill it. You're killing it because you're eating it. Yeah, but that's not what the reasoning. The reasoning doesn't really like here's it does though. No, no, no. In legality between people, yes. But here's the definition of murder. the unlawful premeditated killing of one human being by another. Yeah, it's not a human being.

So murder. The only reason is not murders is because it is sanctioned. It is lawful. You are allowed to do it. You're allowed to do it. That's the only reason why it's not technically murder. That's why it's called slaughter. You slaughter animals or you slaughter things that aren't cainting it.

No, but Kingston, if somebody was like, I'm going to go slaughter some children, you would still probably be like, oh, you probably shouldn't do that. No, no, no, no. And in colloquially, they're just saying that they're killing things that they don't value as creatures. And I'd be like, oh, you don't value children as creatures. You're sick. But when people kill animals, like when you take a lamb to the slaughter, you're not killing it because it's a like this dumbass, punk ass lamb. I hate it.

You're killing if you're going to eat it. No, but that's not that's not the conversation. What we're saying is the conditions that they're kept in is fucked. that it's objectively like a lot of suffering happening and then we look man it's delicious sorry I'm sorry in PETA but like

it's fucking delicious so like it's right acknowledge that it's when they say means murder they're right it's I get it they're technically correct it's like a very technical

but there's also just the image of just like all these workers like working in these fucking factories for like little to no pay so like the idea that like the idea that the line would be oh the CEO feels this way about this group of people is insane to me because it's like they're not really doing anything

they're just like they just have a stupid opinion but it's it's not any worse than anything else that any other CEO does really as long as they're providing a service that's good you know like fucking whatever I understand and here I think this is really important I think this is really important because I don't think the people that would boycott Chick-fil-A because of the CEO

I think they're totally validated And people that don't care about that shit, fair enough But I think they're validated because You know Remember when Sterling came out He was a former order of the Clippers And he was just like Oh, don't hang out with Magic Johnson

Because he's black essentially He got exposed And they made him sell the clippers and shit Because like fuck this, what I Literally the NBA is the black sport That is the sport of the nigger You know what I mean? and you can't be an owner and be

seethingly racist. But here's the problem. A lot of those other owners are probably just as racist. Absolutely. But they're not stupid enough to shoot their mouths off. Like Hunter,

like that's why Hunter Biden's a real nigga, because Hunter Biden's doing that shit and recording it. And I bet it got out he's going to be like, so, so what they saw me do it. And I'm going to keep doing it. Respect.

I mean, you got, you got, look at Hunter Biden so far has not done anything extreme because look why am I mad that somebody smoking crack and fucking and literally contributing to sex work? Well, he's using he's using the money that we pay for taxes

probably to do it. That's the problem. Very likely. Maybe. Very likely. I'm still not, I don't know, man. I'm still not entirely convinced. I think that pedophilic stuff might be real and that's why I'm getting scared. I just need to see, I just need to see, when I see evidence of like say Trump being on the black books of Epstein. I'm like there's more evidence of that. Right. I saw a tweet.

I saw a tweet. I kid you not. And I'm sure this sentiment is echoed by a few completely just slack john morons. They're like, just because they visited the island doesn't mean they did something like nefarious. And I'm like, do you know how many islands there are? These Hawaii, like, do you know how many? Why are you going to this island on the Lolita Express to just hang out? Like, shut the fuck up.

I don't know. Shut the fuck up. I don't know, man. No, shut your fucking mouth, dude. No, hold on. Would you go on the Melita Express and hang out to Epstein's Island just to be like, I'm gonna take a vacation?

Well, not now knowing the context of everything. But like, imagine, no, hold on. Okay, all right. You don't know the names of the planes you fly in? I don't know the fucking names of the plane. I can imagine, hold on. He's a, what I'm saying is like, he's a so, it's the same thing.

It's like, oh, people, oh, they took a picture with him. It's different than, like, her being at, like, Bill Clinton's wedding. and shit. You know what I mean? Like, that's different. That's a whole other fucking can of worms. Like you're, you're friends with this guy, you know this guy very well. But, like, I could see, like, if you visited that island once, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, I think. Because I couldn't, I could, I can see. I want to.

Hold on. I can imagine a scenario where you're just, like, a rich person, and you meet this guy. And he's like, hey, I got a fucking island and a private jet. You want to come party with, like, a bunch of, like, really powerful people. And like, all right. And you go on the plane. They're not saying, like, ooh, welcome to the Lolita Express. Like, that's just what he.

It's like when somebody names their car sharing or something. You're just assuming shit. I mean, who the fuck does that? They do. They're rich fucking assholes. But you're assuming that they know. I'm just doing a logical conclusion. I'm in the middle with this.

Because think of it like this. Let me get my pants. There are so many other things that you can, hold on. There are so many other things and so many other places he can party with. And you think does Epstein, with all the illegal shit he's doing, he's just being an asshole saying, I'm going to incriminate these people without their knowledge. I think so.

The thing is this. I think that's potentially possible. That's what criminal people is. That's what rich and power. I don't. No, no, no,

no, here's, I think the idea, the idea is that people, the people who knew, knew and the people who didn't, didn't. And the idea was that there would be so many people

incriminated by the idea that if it was real, they wouldn't want that information out, that he would be protected enough to not have that stuff go out. I think that's, I think that's, I think that's potentially possible. That's conspiratorial a little bit. But I think it's very, very possible for somebody to be like,

hey, you want to go party with, like, the richest people in the world on a private island? And it's like... On a private island that has specific reasons for it being that private island. But people don't know that. How would they not fuck... Dude, would you go to... Would you assume that?

Would you assume that if somebody was like, hey, come to a private island? We're going to go party in a private island. I'm a rich person. There's a bunch of rich people. There's a reason they go to that island. You're not. not listening. There are plenty

of other islands they can go to to party. That fucking island is to bang and get massaged by fucking little girl. Do you think people went to fire festival? Do you think people went to fire festival because they assumed it would be just a pedophile ring and everybody was like, oh, I can't wait to go to this pedophile ring on this private island?

Was fire festival a pedophile ring? No! That's what I'm saying, but it's a party on a private island. You're literally, no, you're, that was a party. You don't think, you don't think it's possible that one person. I'm asking you a question. I'm not even saying that it is completely impossible. I am saying the fucking, I am using logic here. My logic is, look at, so this is what, this is what, I feel like people do this all the time. It's just like people that think that like rich people can't kill

and murder and get away with it. It's like how, well, how people think conspiracy theories can't be conspiracy theories because they can't, they always try to put themselves in the situation. They always try to enter themselves into a situation that they have no business ever being in or they will never be in that scenario ever. So they can't detach themselves from this shit. They're always trying, just right now, you're trying to enter yourself saying, I can see this happening to me. You're not these rich elite people. I can see this happening to a person. So you're not a rich elite people. You're not them. Stop trying to put yourself in their shoes. Let me, let me finish. So there are plenty of fucking islands everywhere where people party and have a good time and do all this shit.

there is this island that has this specific reason why people go there and what you're saying well I guess they just have you know Bill Clinton has gone multiple times and we already know Bill Clinton's a huge fucking pervert I think everybody I think everybody who was there more than once has some splaining to do the thing is even even the people that went what and look it it is very sorry I just I just I really I need I need to hammer this home because I feel like it's one of those things that you can be it is definitely possible to end up somewhere where you're like oh a very illegal

shit's going on and then you're just i'm out of here and then here's the thing if you witness something really agreed is happening say for example or let's just say for the sake of argument which i feel like it's so highly unlikely they just went there to party and they had no knowledge of any of the shit that's going on in that island that specific island i feel like that's so ignorant that like you because these people go to that there's some weird shit that's going on that especially. And I think

that Epstein only has one island or all these people have, they have multiple fucking places they can go. No,

because Nicholas Cage bought all the islands. He holds all the other ones. That's the island. Who's the Virgin Islands guy? I'm sure he has all of his bullshit. I'm just saying that guy

that earns virgin. No, what I'm saying? It's like, yeah, it's a party at an island. It's just like. So let's think about it

this way. I guess I'll put it in one of the most simplest terms ever. It's like there's clubs, right? You want to go

drinking a shit like that. And then there's clubs, you know, just it's owned by regular people. And then there's clubs that you know that's owned by, you're in Japan, you know, it's owned by the Yakuza. You know this. And then

you fucking go in and you, you, like, how do you not, like, are you, are you just the dumbest, most ignorant person ever? You're not seeing what's going on in your fucking surrounding. And then there's a bunch of, you know, there's illegal activity going on with these people that do illegal stuff and kill people. And you're just going to

complete ignorance that you had no idea what was happening at all. Like, it just seems so fucking stupid. You could have chose any other club. You could have chose anyone that is owned by a regular establishment. You went to the Yakuza club where you know they do illegal shit. You know they do a bunch of weird shit. You went to the fucking island that this guy, you know, and all the social circles. Yeah, but we know that that's an illegal island now is what I'm saying.

Like, I had no idea who this fucking guy was. The public, you keep inserting yourself into this. I have to. That's how I absorb information. Look, look, look, look. That is the basic. That is the basic foundation of reason. No, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm saying, no, you're still not listening. Oh, man. These people, they're not, they, look, it's just like the Cosby thing. How many people didn't know about Cosby versus how many people knew? These people in their social circles all fucking knew. You didn't know. And what you're doing right now is being like, well, I didn't know. And I'm like, you're not fucking one of these people hanging out with Cosby, bitch.

That's what my argument comes from. There's like the idea where like I could all I could see I could see someone being like oh This is a party happening. I'm just going to go hang out at a party right but also at the same time it's like How would they how would you get invited like getting invited there in the first place? It's kind of a sign that it's like Uh, uh, Uh, The top tier socialized. We're not talking about a high school party where I went to somebody else's city. It's the top tier people and they all know each other thing is like the thing is like. The thing is like. Like, and then we're...

Because, like, imagine someone going there that just doesn't fuck with that. And they're like, yo, I'm snitching. Like, I don't fuck with this at all. Like, that is the idea of it because I would 100%. If I got invited there, I'd see that. And I'd be like, I'm going back and I'm telling on all these motherfuckers. You get murdered. And I would get killed.

I would get killed very likely. I would go to it. I would go to the cops and I'd be like, I saw this. And they'd be like, okay, they'd make a call. And then some guy would come in. And before I knew it, I'd be getting choked by like some person that came out the shadows. But like... But like...

But you would... think, but like let's just say, for the sake of argument, you think it's more logical to think that the people that go to this island know about the illegal activities happening before because how much of a piece of shit which you have to be to be like, I'm going to invite you to the island of one of the most fucked up things happening right now and just not tell you a fucking word. And then now, oh, surprise. Because imagine, imagine a, imagine a shock of someone not being okay with that and then walking into that. That's what I'm like, what the fuck? It's, it's, it's illogical. You would, you would

definitely prep, you would brief somebody first. Like, well, so we have this island of very, you know, young girls. They probably would, he probably wouldn't say underage, you'd probably say, you know, my, you know, my thing is, maybe I'm just optimistic and I don't want to believe that most people are pedophiles. Maybe that's just my, it's, it's, it's not even a, because that's not most people. No, but it would be, though. It wouldn't, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, but it would be, though, because what that black book is, what that black book is, what that black book is every that what that black book indicates is that when you reach a certain level of success you just become a pedophile that's what that means that's that's essential and

and for that to be the end state of humanity is so deeply disturbing that I have to believe that at least a few of those people are just like ah we're just here and it's like a hiding in plain sight kind of thing where like maybe there's stuff going on but it's like oh there's stuff going on everywhere like there's stuff going on in the Bronx all the time and I'm like uh just like I live in the Bronx but I'm going to turn a blind eye to that I do I actually I understand that sentiment to but examining that rich and powerful people. Think about the Bohemian Grove. These people are so rich and bored.

They dress up in robes and then go worship an owl. Like these people do weird shit. They're so rich and powerful. I know, but do they have to be pedophiles? All of them? That's so sad. It's very possible. That's so scary.

Think about the amount of, because let's think about how, um, like, let's talk about, I just want to say, I just want to say this real quick. Because let's, let's bring it,

let's bring it down to our level. We talk about grooming. right all these fucking idiots are talking about teachers and transgender people being groomers yet they completely skip over fucking religious and boy scouts which have the world record of

grooming and raping kids you know and these people are on our level these are people that are you and I that can actually become a part of a church and then to start touching boys which happens so fucking frequently what happens is I think the now it's not everybody

the Catholic church is like yo they were doing so much more to little boys before re-regulated shit. Y'all niggas complained about 12 boys getting molested. There were hundreds before. We're holding the floodgates back. That's Flagrant 2. That's flagrant 2.

Before I lose it, hold on. 100%. Before I lose this. Before I lose this thought, the thing that bothers me most about this is the idea that, like, if everybody in the Black Book is a pedophile, everybody, if everybody who went to that island is just like straight up a pedophile,

then they also happen to be the richest people, that means that either oh man that means that either everybody just becomes a pedophile once they have a lot of money or that

in order to be that successful in the first place you just have to be a pedophile from the get-go it's like a... And that's so fucking scary. I think it's... I think it's... Well, it's an interesting conversation.

Is that a thing? this like you just become a pedophile. Let's break this down. Let's, because we keep saying the word pedophile, but let's be real. What is the, a Phoebe file?

Is that what it's called? Yeah, a Phoebe file. Like, yeah, whatever. But here's the thing. So most of those,

just being 100% honest, those young girls are like teenagers with, develop like tits and stuff. They're young. They're like high schools, let's, let's not even go into this. No,

this is, look, look. No, I think it's important. I think it's important because when you're saying is, can you become a pet. I don't, I don't think anybody can just start liking empty-vesseled young, you know, peepubescent.

I just want to be real before we move on from this. I think a rich person could go from fucking a 20-year-old to a 14-year-old, no problem. Because they're rich, they don't care, they're bored. I don't think it's a huge leap for them to just be like, this chick is six years younger. I don't give a shit. I'm rich and I'm a piece of shit. Because the people at the top, let's think about it. are more times than not pieces of shit.

Most people don't want those positions of power. Yeah. To be the CEO and all that stuff. You have to be a money hungry piece. You got to step on people's toes. You've got to be an asshole and a piece of shit already. So some cut comes to you and says, hey,

join the club, but in order to join the club, we got some weird shit going on. And they're probably like, I'm okay with that. I'm literally okay with paying people less than living wages. Why would I give a fuck about that? You know what I mean?

It's not a huge stretch to get to that weird shit. I guess. We're normal people. You don't want to be a CEO. of a company do you you don't want to be a fucking like a lot of work you want to be like a lot of shit to worry about fuck no i would i would like to i would like to be that secure but

all right yeah that's what i want to make that much money doing a fucking podcast you feel me right okay guys so the moral of the story the moral of the story is like you you all better fucking support us well but not like you know don't make us like don't make us do or we're gonna get a call

we're gonna get an invitation all right guys we're we're at time let's i this This episode, this last conversation grinned me up so bad that I feel like Frank Castle. But I love this because it's like when it's like taking because everybody, most people on earth are good people. And they want to avoid that hard, gritty bullshit. And I like just pulling people. I like pulling people under to like give them a little glints of the gutter and the depth of like what all the shit's happening.

You're fucking. Because your chakras. broken row. There's real shit happening and I feel like everyone just does their best just completely ignoring. It's like when I talk about

I just, this last thing I'm going to say when I say the groomer thing you have these dumb asses saying the teachers are groomers this group and then they won't do anything about the real fucking the churches

and the boy scouts. Look at how many tens of thousands of kids that have been fucking abused. It's crazy. I want to pull them down to the real shit and be like look what's really happening, bitch. That's all stuff.

It's like it's just all like people I always It's like when people are It's like when people are upset about shit That like doesn't actually like It's I just have to assume that certain people

Just haven't lived life really Like when they're upset about something You know like when Right right right Well if complaining about an MCU movie's fine Well no Imagine complain about If you're just like

If you're just like I didn't like this Yes that's true But imagine complaining about MCU movies really When there are literally The American dream is broken and the fact that like the housing market's destroyed because companies like shit like that that's what no but for me it's it's more like i'm upset this was a real response that i got and it blew my fucking mind where i was like i said something uh along the lines of like um

i just don't get how it it bothers me genuinely that people are show more disdain for the people putting like a 0.5 second gay kiss in a Pixar film than they do for like the fact that like owning property is becoming fictionalized in the country or like just the fact that like rent is skyrocketing and wages are stagnating and it's just like that it bothers me to see more fervor over that than for that and I got this response this was real from like a 28 year old person who said those are the same people the people the script supervisors of Pixar are the people

refusing to give... They're responsible for me not being able to buy a house in the future? Yeah, it's their fault. It's the script. I couldn't fucking believe it when I read that. It was like... It made me so mad. Just, oh, bro.

It just, I don't know. I think I responded. I think I was just like, you should really know better, man. Because I asked him, I asked him, once he said that, I was like, how old are you? And he's like, 28. And I was like, you should really know better, man.

And I just left it at that. because it's so scary how much people haven't lived. Because that's just inexperience. That's like I've never met anybody who isn't just in my circle of friends or who has a different perspective than me. I've never like, I don't know. I know script supervisors. I know screenwriters. They're not fucking in the Illuminati making your house cost more.

Are you fucking insane? A lot of them. You don't know that, bro. You don't know that, bro. Oh, man. I think most of them are not. The thing is that people start blaming everyone above them for everything that's fucking I'm over eventually.

Everyone gets mad at, like, it's all of you fall. And it's just anyone that's making, they probably think we pieces of shit, you know? Because we think we're making a, like, just above living wage. Just that living wage. And they're like, you sucks when you don't know anything about hard work. And it's like, bro, I worked in a cafe for years and I'm a student. And like all that shit. unload trucks with grandfather clocks, bro.

That's why my back is. That's why I'm a fucking herniated dish. Like, like, like, like they'll think, they'll think that like, just because we're in a slightly,

slightly better situation that we also are just like above and we look down them. It's like, no, I just can pay my rent. I'm nothing, nothing about my life is extravagant, you know?

But it's the idea of those things. They just blame everybody. Yeah, look at his bathroom door. My bathroom door My bathroom door If you're stuck in there for more than four minutes A portal opens up And you end up in the upside down

That place is hell I have to piss fast Where all that gay shit is Or that gay R is Exactly bro So much gay R on the upside down dude That gay R15 Yeah

Gay R15 What was the I was laughing so much about Two Infinity and I'm gay I was laughing so much about that guy How stupid that shit is Speaking of that, actually. Yeah.

Is that guy have a question? Well, no, we're just at the end. We're at the end. We're going a little bit long. So I want to, yeah, 2.14. And this. End this. Thanks.

Man, this was another, this was an episode. God, I just want our best ones. I think people are going to be really engaged with this one. I think so, too. God, fucking damn. I'm done.

I'm done with the fight. I'm done fighting. No, I don't want to fight either. I just want, dude, I want like several ads and, and I just want, I don't, I don't, I don't, I, dude, I want to play every video game ever. And I want to, I say, I say I care and get very passionate about bullshit like this, but at the end of the day in my heart of hearts, I'm on my 30s, guys. I want, I'm done. I want food so bad. I want to be rich enough to show my dick to people and not get in trouble.

Let's, let's, let's wrap this up. Let's wrap this up, because I, I'm starting to feel hungry, which is like, that's bad. I was hungry. bad if I feel hungry that's bad because I can usually go like a day that's weird yeah you're like a alligator that can eat like half a year or some bullshit like that you just eat once a what's how like once every six months I hate alligator that's disgusting I'm not starting an alligator conversation if you like what you heard today consider supporting us over at patreon.com slash the snark tank

one dollar month gets you access to every episode and access to bonus solo episodes by the way Derek's question thread is up right now on the patreon so you can go you can go So give it another like a, give it another like a couple, maybe like the weekend. It'll be, it'll be chock full of stuff. Because I want people to get a chance to hear it and maybe like even if they hear this on the free feeds, maybe go in and if they want to ask something. Hell yeah. So yeah, you had access to every episode. Add free and access to bonus episodes.

$5 gets you a question right on the show. $10 gets you access to our Discord server. That's one payment in. You're in for good. And $25 gets your name to sexically right at the end of the show, which I. fully intend on doing now. Ready? Yeah.

Three, two, one. Nikki Ziggy. I'm going to say that outright because her name keeps getting glishing out of the list for some reason. But I farm horses for their milk. Stormboy's life and what he like. The daring driver Dan delightfully deep diving down Dweeney's delicious dark dick deluxe. God. Uh, your noble truth is God.

What? Your noble truth is God is dead, but you aren't lucky enough to be. I don't know. Jokey, Joker Goofy says, you get what you fucking deserve, Maxie. I'll make my own snark tank with blackjack and hookers. Fuck traveling overseas. I'm trying to travel into her ovaries. Nice.

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That messed their son up. Now he's outside fighting. I don't know what the fuck. Is that a lyric probably? People are terrible. Sounds like it. Sounds like it. I just hate that I'm being just extorted for all these like remixes.

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He's got a rainbow flag profile picture, too, so I think it's serious. Taven de Black, Kremlin de Gremlin, Binkus, Stinkis, George Hardar Martin. Just, what the fuck? I can't read that guy. I can't read that. I don't know what you want from me. I don't know why you pay so much not to get credited. It's so confusing.

Just try it. Just try it. Is it just me, or does Sweeney hate... Sweeney's hatred for furries remind you of how Republicans hate the gays, not saying he's a furry. But it's like every letter is in a circle. I don't know how he did that, like a subway, like, oh, the A train. I don't know how he did that. That's some fucking wizardry. I don't like it.

That's pretty dumb. Mitch McConnell's tortoise shell, St. Maxi, from the makers of they them pussy. It's they them come. Alst the wall, you said it right. Dami, mommy,

tomboy power lifter enthusiast. Okay. Mega Man X8 and the lack of anything funny to say this time. I think he's dead. I think that guy's dead. Avi, women's right,

he hasn't changed his name ever. He hasn't changed it, right? And he used to change it a lot. He changed him a little shitting on it. Yeah, yeah. Women's rights. What about women's wrong? I became a patron and spent 25 bucks not to be able to come up with a clever name.

Waitsley 583. I, I, I, though, Swin made the kingpin moan. I think it's thought, but, you know. Are you thought it was Sweeney? Yeah. Yeah, I get that. I don't got that kind of vocal name. I can't do it.

I love that, I love, by the way, I love, by the way that that is just straight up how we intro the show. That's the intro. I was about to say, I was about to ask you guys, how are you liking it? I love it. It's so startling every time, because I forget. So good. Don't worry about it. I feel gay, fuck you.

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in the river. That can't be real. That's so awful. That's true. That's pretty cool, actually. That's so fucking funny. That's pretty epic. Junkin'Hulahan, Pree-Raz, A-N-It a Kick in the Dick, Blake 8-9-6, Chris consuming the essence of 117 masterful quefs from a six-foot-inch man named John. He also likes green, Ryan Lucchese, sloshy scout. And if you ask me how I'm feeling, don't tell me you're too blind to see.

Depraved to Mick Booty Warrior, bad, bad, bad-booty, hard-hat skydiver, Alaska and oil field trash. Marcus Shorten gave 25 Game Controller 25. Almost crashed my motorcycle from laughing so hard while you cretans were talked about gooning.

Also I agree with Chris on the roaches. Hell yeah, dude. We're building an army. If roaches made that noise, maybe I'd feel a little bit worse for him. I wouldn't. That'd kill him.

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Awesome merch For us Man Dude we need fucking What's going on? What's going on? We do need much We have two merch in like

200 years I know We gotta get on that I'm actually I didn't mention this On the show because I mean I guess I am now

in the credits but I'm actually I think I'm gonna kind of revamp the Patreon a little bit kind of clean it up get some get some stuff going maybe get some merch and all that stuff I want to like streamline a bunch of stuff

let's do it so that's probably going to be happening very very soon where the fuck where oh fuck where was I to infinity and I'm gay the only stick I touch while driving is my penis parenthesis I masturbate while driving

wasn't an escalation but a brief moment of levitation yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy come inside my tummy Jackson Abyssaday's Bradley Brave Hoggardirk the movie theater manager Atheirian, Chris Kate, my Virginia hunting ass Tom I'm burping Tom Richter 86 and as always rounding out our list The king of

Hap Hazard Hunter Biden Hunter Biden supports our show Fuck. Can you imagine? Give us some of that fucking stolen tax oil money. Hunter? What the fuck are you doing?

Kick a brother up, bro. Or whatever the fuck it is he did. I really, I didn't really, I didn't really don't know what the fucking did. Send me a crack and a woman. All right. All right.

All right. All right. Bye guys. Get some crack. Hunter, send me. Uh, eh. Eh, eh.