The Snark Tank - #12: Surviving Aliens

Episode Date: March 5, 2020

How would we go about surviving an alien invasion? Do roaches count as animals?  And if so, do they deserve respect? Will Derrick win a date with Trisha Paytas? What are the perfect video game soundtracks to accompany everyday life? Would you let a man knock you out for $10,000? Should the Snark Tank have merch? WHO WILL MAKE IT! Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I earned my degree online at Arizona State University. I chose to get my degree at ASU because I knew that I'd get a quality education. They were recognized for excellence and that I would be prepared for the workforce upon graduating. To be associated with ASU, both as a student and alum, it makes me extremely proud. And having experienced the program, I know now that I'm set up for success. Learn more at ASUonline.ASU.edu. Well, well, well, if it isn't you again, welcome back to the Snark Tank podcast, the only podcast that has minorities on it. I'm not going to fact check that, though.

That's a bold statement, but probably. But it's probably accurate. It's damn there near it. It's a sad but true. What do you think Keemstar's podcast is more diverse? I don't think so. Alex, you self-righteous. All right, let's calm down.

I love that. I still love that. That's a good moment. He just broke down. He lost it. God damn. I'm Chris Reagan. It was going on. It's Tom Sweeney.

Derek Blackman, hey. And today, I don't really know what we're going to do because I saw something that really completely derailed every plan that I thought I was going to have for this episode. And it relates to a question that we got. So I just want to jump into this immediately. Okay.

Jose Horak asks, Horach. I still don't know how to pronounce it. And he's not given me any information. Jose, you can just text. You can tweet us. You know that right. He asks, if Derek,

Eric gets on that H3H3 Bachelorette competition. Will he clap Tricia Paytas' cheeks for the culture? I have no idea what any of this is. What is happening? Is there a competition? Let's hear it, Derek. Let's talk about it. All right.

So I listen to an array of podcasts to Phil. I don't really listen to music that much right now. It's usually history podcasts like Hardcore History of Dan Carlin, H3 podcasts. whatever, you know, I listen to a lot of stuff. So H3 podcast is one of those that I listen to, usually at midnight or something when I should be sleeping. Yeah. And I saw that they had Trisha Pettis on, and then it was about she's going to, they did a bachelor thing for one of the interns, this guy named Ian, where they picked contestants and it's like, oh, we're going to find you love. So girls send in your applications or whatever.

And it was really popular. So now they're doing it for Trisha Pettis. And Trisha obviously is insane. She's notoriously insane. Everybody knows that. And she's kind of gross. And I mean, just real talk. It's kind of gross.

I thought when I saw that, she's into those muck bang things and all that shit. And they were like, send your application. And it's like, hey, I haven't put anything out on my second channel in a long time. And on my second channel, at a certain point, I started just wearing a Spider-Man mask, the Miles Morales one. Yeah, yeah. You get a little verbal On that channel It just like

I don't know It just manifested that way And so I sent in my application I did like a mini Muckbong thing or Muckbang I can't I'm not sure how to say it doesn't matter I think it's Muckbang Okay

Yeah so I sent it in I sent in my application Because at first I was like Oh this is just gonna be a joke I'm gonna do that But then I thought You know what no I should actually Because as a kids say nowadays

Shoot your shot That's like they all say shoot your shot And I was like you know what Fuck it I emailed them the thing. Now, I didn't like tag Ethan or anything because I was just like, fuck, it doesn't really matter. I wanted the process to be natural. Yeah. But yeah, they saw it. They all the, all of them saw and then Ethan messaged me. He was like, dude, like, we got it. It was fucking, that was awesome.

And I was like, oh, shit. Derek, I think, I think, I think you just like. You might win. You might. You very well might win, especially because you, you, you, you want a fucking PS4 from a Taco Bell? Oh, yeah. He opened a freaking tulipabata. It was a PS4 and it. still can't believe that was in 2013. I'll never forget me winning. It still doesn't seem real to me. I still don't think those are real. You've told me that you want it and you have

a PlayStation 4 at home. I still don't believe that this really happened. Because I just fundamentally like from a physiological standpoint disagree. They're possible. It's very rare. It's it doesn't make man. Because they don't have to. You know what I mean? That's the thing. It's like you could be like you could be talk about and you could be like we're giving away a free, I don't know, fucking PlayStation 5

with every 1% of fucking whatever, you know, and just never do it. They can't do it. No one's going to. No one's going to cross-check it. Yeah. There's too many fucking people that go to Taco Bo. I legitimately agree because when I first won, I was like, this has to be. Even though it's officially through Taco Bell, I was just my first thought was, oh, this has to be a scam.

There's no way this is real. And I would have been fine with it being a scam. I looked up on the internet. I posted on Instagram and hashtag, and there was another person that found my post on Instagram through the hashtag and was saying, yeah, man, I was wondering if it's a scam too. So we're all in, you know, pure synchronicity, right? Yeah. And I confirmed a few things.

And then a week before or two weeks before it officially came out, I think in September, late September or something like that. Yeah. It showed up in my door. And I was like, wow, this is, this is the thing. And it came with knack. And I was like, oh, this is this. Oh, knack. I was like, this is nice.

That game was nice. That's classic. That game's an instant classic. So if you win, what is this Bachelorette thing even really? What is the, like, what do you get if you win? Now, here's the thing. I'm excited to hear this. Now, here's where I kind of should have maybe looked in a little bit further.

Because, okay, so I don't, when I'm listening to those podcasts and stuff, I'm like half paying attention because I'm usually doing another thing. Yeah. So. Of course. She says that she, she's looking. looking for marriage. And, and the thing is, the thing is, um, so I really, you know, if I, if I, if there, if I become a legitimate contestant, I think there is an opportunity for me to win and let's be real. Like, I don't want to win. Like it's not, it's not, look, man, that,

Trish, she kind of frightens me a little bit. She kind of, she seems like the type of person that would drive you mad like Cthulu, you know? Oh my God, like exposure. to the fucking great old one. Yeah. Like, I feel like that's what she kind of, she reminds me of that. And while I think it would be really fun to do,

it does, the idea of like actually being alone with Trisha and like going on a date or something kind of frightens me. I think for the shits and gigs, I think it would be really fun. Because my main thing is, and this is the thing that might disqualify me, because I say, if I'm able to like appear on the podcast

or however they're going to do it, I have to have the spider mask. Like, I can't not have it. Oh, yeah, for sure, yeah. Because if I don't, if they don't let me do it, I'm like, I don't want to be on the show. Like, I don't want to, it would still be, I still want to kind of like fuck around. That sounds right. But I'm a little bit concerned that she might actually, like, be interested or something.

Yeah, the Spider-Man mask is a good barrier. Yeah. Because, like, everybody, immediately, the second they see it, they're going to be like, what the fuck is this? The fuck is this bullshit. There's a good screen between the two of you. And I do have one other thing, because I do know, I know that she likes tall men. Because I remember, uh, I remember her. hitting on Ethan. Ethan's like 511 or something.

Is he? Yeah. Ethan's 511? Yeah, he's like 5'11. I thought he was way shorter than I. I feel like I don't remember him being that tall. Oh no, he was definitely, and Ila's pretty fucking tall too. He was definitely tall, yeah. Like there, I, uh, went on that one time at that bar, she looked taller than Ethan. Yeah. To me. Right? Well, she might have just been wearing something like larger shoes or some shell, yeah, because she definitely doesn't wear heels, but, um, they're definitely much taller. And like I said in the video, like if he, uh, my channel's called Black Chad where I just put

reject bullshit on there. And she, I said in the video that I'm a towering 5-6. And so that alone, even if I'm the most charismatic person on the planet, I feel like she would never go for somebody that's 5-6. Thank God. That's like a fucking,

that's like a, I'm like a midget to her. That's such a saving race. Is she tall? I have no idea. Tricia Paitis? I have no idea. I imagine I imagine she's short, but I imagine she's one of those girls that like, I saw a, I saw a meme of It shows a girl

And this like demon like towering over this girl And then it says it says Five foot and then it says the demons like five eight or five nine And she's like you're way too short for me Yeah yeah It's like even though he's like I'm way taller than me What are you talking about? But that's all you know

That's how some that's how some women are I think of the scarce meme when he's all scrunched up Yeah I'm much I'm a foot taller than my girlfriend Yeah Like an entire foot tall So you could easily kick her, right? I could easily kick her, right?

I could easily kick her to death. You could probably easily kick her to death. Maybe. I could probably kick most people to death. I'm a big creature. What do you're fighting at? Huh? What do you say?

Where am I built? No, I said, what do you build at? Like, build. You know, build. I don't know what you mean by that. You don't work out. We don't know any of this shit. What does that mean?

Build? It's like a, that's like a fighting term. Like, you know, your stats. Oh, like my build? Like my build? Like, say, you're high. I'm essentially, usually when you're saying your build at, it's usually your height and weight,

but I'm not in your weight, usually your height. I'm like 6-2, I think. 6-2? I'm like about 6-2. Yeah. Once people get around the 6-6 range, I can't really gauge people's height anymore. Yeah. It's like, all right, so I know how tall I am.

Because it's just irrelevant. At a certain point, like, it's like from 6 to 6, like 4 maybe. It really. It's like, it's just, it might as well be the same. Yeah. But my dad, and my dad is 6-6. Damn. The second it gets beyond 6-4,

then you're just like a fucking giraffe. And it's just like kind of creepy You always like big and lanky at that moment Unless you're like an athlete Then you're like big and wide Like a wall You're like a siren head You ever see the siren head

That fucking horror creature What you think with an actual Fucking like megaphone type head Yeah it's fucking creepy It's creepy as shit It's really cool though It's like creepy pasta type shit Yeah

Yeah there's man I totally got Okay so my mom's side of the family All of them are like six foot They're all tall My grandma's mom tall mother, they're all. And then my mom, she got short in the stick and she's 5-2 or something. So I forgot. She's something like that. She's short. And then I just found out because I didn't

really know my dad because he died when I was like four or something. And then my mom just told me like, oh, yeah, I think he was like, five-five or something. And I was like, oh, no wonder. I was like, no wonder. I was like, no wonder. I didn't even have a fucking chance to know because me, I was a sports fanatic. And then- When I was going to go as a sports head. So I was like, oh, I'm definitely going to go play ball. And, and, whether it was going to be basketball or football, and I never had my growth spurt or anything. And I was like, oh, that's cool, man.

And as I was entering, like, it was about to be varsity football, I was, I injured my hip, and it made me considerably slower. And then I was racing my, this giant black dude named Josh Michael. And he almost beat me. And this dude is like, he's probably your height or a little bit taller. And I was like, I'm useless. I was like, there's no reason for me to be anywhere near this if this giant guy is almost faster than me.

and all I have could have is speed at being this fucking short. And so, eventually, I just cut myself. I was going to sit down, guys. Yeah, I went to the coach.

I was like, hey, man, we know what this is. And he's all, man, quitters and, I was like, shut the fuck up,

dude. I'm like, I'm not going to, you could have, what you're going to, well, I don't know how bad your hip injury was. I know,

like, right now compared to, like, when I was younger, I played tight end in football. And I was fast. I was like a pretty fast dude, especially for my size.

Yeah. And then, like, I stopped exercising. And then for, like, the brief, like, year I started exercising again, I got really quick again. And I, like, but I shit off the ton of pounds while I was exercising, too. And I got fast as fuck. Well, let me tell you, that was a bad your injury was. It was a hip. That's probably different.

It was, so that was, like, half my life ago. It still feels the same. Yeah. It still hurts. Yeah, like, I can feel it now as I'm just sitting down. But I've gotten so used to it, like, that I'm like, it's just pain, whatever. Like, so it's heightened my threshold of pain. But the thing is, I'm also retarded because I've, one time I've, I thought it was like my spine or some shit.

I didn't know. I was like, oh, my back hurts. I don't know. And then they x-ray. Doctors are very specific, right? You tell them what's wrong, and they look at that and that alone. For real. And then so they're like, oh, you're fine.

Get the fuck out. And then when I figured it was my hip, I never went back. I never even. I was just like, I was like, that's fine. You probably, I'm, I'm, I'm. Okay. Yeah, maybe. Maybe I should.

Maybe that I'm like, I'm actually getting up to a point where shit can not be good. It's fine, man. I'm living my. I feel like, though, the one thing I would say is like, I don't think it has anything to do with it. But when I injured my hip, I'll say, I wonder if I could have gotten taller if I didn't injure myself. Because it was, it was around the time, you know, 15, 16 where, you know, it was probably 16. It was, that was the time where, like, all my, a lot of my peers were having those growth spurts and shit. Like, people that I knew they were around my same height.

I think I was fucked though. Never mind. It doesn't fucking matter. Later way. Trisha Pate's, man. Trisha Pateus, man. You're gonna do it? The thing is, look at, man.

Think of the exposure, man. Like, you would blow. If you were the guy that was deep dicking, Trisha Padas, imagine how many fucking followers you would get. Well, look, here's the, imagine the dimensions. Yeah, imagine.

Listen, it's, it's, kind of thing's not worth it, really. It sounds off. All I got to say is that, hey, I'm not the kind of guy that I'd do that. But, you know, you could explode. You could grow.

You could truly, truly excitedly grow. Well, here's the, here's the deal. Because my entire life, I've always been the person that would never go for stuff like that. That would never, not a clout chaser. I've turned down a lot of stuff that even sometimes in retrospect, I'm like, I don't know. That, you know, like, hey, you want to be the lead guitarist in this band that's touring? And I'm like, ah, that's all right. Hey, I used to do background acting.

And then director, PA called me up. And like, hey, we want you to audition for this movie. I forgot the movie, but it had potential. And then I was like, no, I think I'm just going to continue working at this warehouse, you know? Like, stuff like that because I'm just like, I don't think I want to do that. I'm not sure. You're just, you're just, you just don't want to change shit. Yeah, it's, it's kind of a, it's, it's an issue.

And I think I sometimes I, I self-sabotage when there's like an opportunity to like explode. Yeah, without a doubt. Honestly, that's like my biggest fear, period. I hate it. It's an issue. Wow, you don't say, wow, really? Yeah, yeah. The person who doesn't have a channel at all,

despite the fact that he has, like, a bunch of fans. Yeah. Idiot. Right? I hate you both. It is a normal. I'd say it's pretty normal. It's the reason.

Because then, like, the second, here's the thing. Like, the second you fail, it's like, ah, whatever, you know? You could just try again. Yeah. But, like, if you used to, like, explode, you're just, like, your life has changed now. Yeah. Now, like, people are calling you and you're like, who the fuck is that? Is it?

Like, I don't ever want to be a day where, like, if I walk outside and someone says, oh hey that's this guy and I get sworn people I was like my life is ruined now I can't go places I can't just add fun going out yeah yeah I've definitely seen that too like I've I've I've hung out with people and I've seen you know I've seen the way like when somebody's huge the way that they have to interact in public is like so I can I can tell that it's a fucking tedious it's grueling oh yeah it looks so fucking painful to me and I don't even really like being in public at all. It's already tedious to me. So the thought of like trying to go

somewhere and then being stopped all the time is such a huge deterrent to me. I will literally like, I think I have had so many opportunities to just like completely explode and I'm like, ah, you know, I'm comfortable where I'm at. Like this is fine. It's a, it's a really, you know, and a lot of people will tell you that it's a really bad thing

to do. You should let it naturally happen. That's what I've been told. It's a fear of success, I think. It's pretty normal. It is pretty normal. And that's the thing. The thing is trying to overcome that. So about the, even like that Tricia thing, it's kind of like, all right, I think this would be a good test for me to not sabotage myself. Like if there is an opportunity to just like, you know, hang out and have fun and fuck because the thought of actually like dating her or anything like that, that's that's assinine to me.

You know what I mean? That's fucking, that's crazy. Asin. But like, if, but like say if there was. like some, oh, let's... Fucking vocab word. It just... I can't, like, I couldn't think of it, that's, that's how I genuinely feel. It's a good word. And it's like, hey, um, however, uh, if there's an opportunity to say, be on a podcast

or even make a video, do something wild, I thought like, I should take advantage of that opportunity, um, especially now that I'm feeling, I'm feeling my mortality. I'm not old, but I'm much older than I've, you know, when you think about it. You're older than you ever been, you know? Yeah. In the aspects of. your life are like, oh shit, like I've been on this planet for three fucking decades. I need to start like, I need to switch it up.

And the biggest problem is honestly, it's being a fucking bachelor. Just being single, bro, you don't give a fuck about it doesn't matter. Like, oh, I make enough for myself. I'm fine. And then you're not thinking about the bigger picture. Like, say if there's another person involved, then it's like, I need to maximize my profits. I need to take care of this and that. Yeah.

I'm going to fuck about any of that shit. I don't care about it at all. I don't think about I'm so I was like oh even when my channel tanked on YouTube I'm like I still survive

you know what I mean I still make enough money I'll pay my bills I won't be able to buy whatever the fuck I want I'm sorry So we got We got some more questions here

Let's talk about Oh my god Galactic Thundercuk Asks I think I've called somebody This before That's probably where you got it This sounds like something

definitely said before. That's some shit that we've said. Yeah. If you could have one singular soundtrack for movies, games, or anything to narrate your life, what would it be? So I guess to score your life would be a more accurate. Really? Fucking easy.

He's walking around with all that fucking stoic-ass cowboy music doing all the stupid shit I do. That'd be fucking fantastic. Twang. So you get the entire, you get the entire fucking score. Yeah. The entire soundtrack? Yeah. Oh, wow.

I guess so. Imagine like, imagine fucking your girlfriend to that fucking Angelo song that played when they got back to the same. States. Like imagine how sick that would be. I'd be like, I wouldn't even finish what I'm doing. I'm doing. I'd be like, well, this song is just. This is jazz. It's tight. It's kind of hitting. It's a good. It's a good song.

Push the person off me. This is kind. This kind of hits. Honestly, I'm too good for this. Everything. I'm out of here. Man, I think I would have to go with damn, there's so many good ones, but I think I'd have to go with the Mega Man X. Mega Man X has the most ridiculous. And it's

It'd be so hype. There would never be a dull moment. How would you sleep? There's a few, because like, there's, like, say there's a moment when, there's a moment when there's a couple of sad moments. There's, uh, I probably, I guess I'd have to sleep to that. The one thing I would sleep to is there's a song on, it's the very last stage right before you fight, um, uh, Sigma. It's just like this kind of cosmic, da, da, da, da, da, da, na, na, na, na, na, it's very subtle.

And they're going to sleep to that. I think it'd be very good. You know what, you know what? Okay, you guys are making me think about it more. Now because you're like, how are you going to sleep? litness like there is how you're gonna have a mundane day well the thing's not constantly playing it's just key moments i mean it's like a soundtrack it's like the soundtrack's not always fine okay okay if it's okay key moments and that that's a little different then i thought like i would think like

consistent like there was always some sort of fucking music playing no no no period because you think about it you have one soundtrack to last your whole life that's gonna get grading after a day i don't care yes you do i i i'd say you don't because you don't have to deal with it yeah that's very true that's very true that's absolutely care after like three days you'd be like holy shit what the fuck can this stop yeah okay de angelo shut up i could i would never say that to the angelo don't don't if you listen to this i love you okay sure for real for i do love you yeah i'm gonna switch my answer not not magamann x i'm gonna do uh uh you and i would appreciate if you all checked out this soundtrack um

illusion of gaia and because it has a ridiculous i know it's like a kind of obscure the game but it has some of the best music and it does have like when i think about variety there's some shit that I would I could fall asleep to like legitimately when you save the game there's this stuff like it's hypnotic

and then there's the hype music when you're going to fuck up castles when you go to Egypt and you fight these fucking this mummy chick and I think I'm finished I think you guys get it I would change my

I want to hear what yours I swear stuff Chris I don't know man I like a lot of soundtracks I would say probably Seinfeld I hate you so much I fucking talk to me What is this?

I feel genuinely. I just think it would be a, I think it would make my life so much better. Yeah. To have that twang every time I walked into a room. Duna, damn.

And just like walking, and it's like slight. But I don't know. It's short, it's short burst, so it's not gonna, it's not gonna get on my fucking nerves as quickly as like a soundtrack

that's playing consistently throughout my life or just like, even a key moments. Like, if I can walk into a party and then like you get that little twang, get that little bass, slapy bass.

Bam, bam. It's such a fucking fun bass. I was usually gonna be like, ah, you know, I like, I like Halo 2 a lot.

Ah, you know, I like Bastion. But like, ah, I don't do anything cool enough to justify any of that. You know? I'm not doing, I'm not taking, I'm not killing people. I'm not taking down, like, corrupt entities. You could. I'm not taking down, giant spider mecks. All you have to do is reach deep inside yourself and you can do whatever you want, Chris.

You're not a voice actor. Don't do that. I could, I could be, I think. I have a pretty, pretty damn thing. Give me a feel of a lot of confidence for somebody who does nothing. That's true. but I think you be a voice actor It's like frustrating

Just do something then I don't want to be one I don't want to be a voice actor But I probably could I want you to put a real out on YouTube A real Yeah Hi I'm Tom Sweeney

This is my little kid I'm little Hired I'm little You are so hired Chase Blauvelt wrote in Hey Chris and some black guy Favorite brand slash style

of electric guitar. We both have the same one. Yeah. At least one of the same one. We both have a... C1 platinum. Yeah, C1 platinum. Shechter. Which is a good, super good guitar. Got it completely independently of each other. I did not know that that was the one you had. Yeah, I kind of made me mad. It's really weird. I knew that I had played...

Because I don't really know the brandings or like styles of guitar. I don't know the first thing about pickups or anything. I just play the fucking instrument. But I knew that like, when I played it at your house, I was like, oh, this is a pretty good guitar. And then I played it like, years later at some fucking guitar center. And I was like, this is pretty good. And I just bought it. I was like, oh shit, it's the same.

It's the same exact. Like same color, same color, same model. I'm pretty sure. Same pickups probably. It's the same fucking guitar. And it's like that's insane. It's a good guitar. Twinsies.

I love, I love Shactor. I love the Diamond series. There's, that was, I've had guitars before that. But when I got the Diamond series, that was when I was like, I'm going to just, these are the guitars that I'm going to play with forever. And then it was just like upgrading the pickups, like those EMGs that were in there. And those are, EMGs are really good for metal. And the only other thing I would have is the person I'm assuming you probably know what I'm talking about.

Seymour Duncan, they're really good pickups, very chunky. And so anything, even if I get a seven string, like there's a Hellraiser that's seven string, Schecter. It's always going to be Schecter. And I have other pictures and all this stuff. I played with some Ibanez's, but just like looking at the show, that's a fucking big guitar. Yeah. It sounds good. It looks good, and then just, you can just change it around, do other bullshit to it.

Yeah, I like, I don't know, I, I've fucked around with, like, Fenders and Ibanezes and, and my, I played, like, a real Gibson, Les Paul at my uncle's house, like, when I was, like, a kid. And it was, like, the most in love I've ever been with a guitar. Like, the way that guitar sounded and the way the guitar felt was fucking amazing. I got, I think, a Les Paul, but it's not a Gibson. What's the other one? Fuck. it's like a Oh it's kind of like the

It's not a Gibson Les Paul But it's like a fucking It's a Les Paul But I can't remember if it's like Ivanez or fucking some other company No it's the fuck me I'm getting thrown off Because it starts with an E doesn't it

I'm getting thrown off Isn't it not a Epiphone Epiphone Yeah yeah and that's a pretty good one too But like the real Gibson Les Paul is like a fucking Oh my God I don't know how Gibson is nowadays

But like back then That was a fucking crisp Guitar and if I could get my hands on that exact guitar, I definitely would. I would kill my uncle. I'd take it from him. Kill your entire family for that. I knew what's coming.

I knew what's coming. You're going to say some fucking monstrous shit eventually. Guitars are important, man. Not more than human lives, you fucking monster. It's really super debatable. You fucking dark dwelling demon. So you would save Osama bin Laden before you saved a guitar? How old is Osama bin Laden?

What is he done? What is he done? How old is he done? What is he? What is he done? What is he done? What is he done? Like, I'm talking about what stage of his life. Oh, so what? You want to try to save him? Like, how you can sit, like, I have a chance people would save Hitler like that. As if he wasn't like, because before everyone, no one's a monster upon birth. I don't think so at least. I could be wrong, you know, because I don't

know every fucking body. I didn't know Hitler. Of all the people to be saying this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. It's true. Watch who speaking. But of, I think, look, I hear what you're saying because there actually is, uh, like, been, Lodin became radicalized. He wasn't always evil. He actually did work with the United States for a while. Yeah, for a while with the Mujahideen and with the Zabignu Przinski was a part of that. It's kind of weird how he just was like, oh yeah, you know what, America sucks now.

You know how, you know, we dig them over somehow. You know, people. We did the classic America one, too. There's good books about blowback, what it's called. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's good books on that. And you can understand why a lot of those people become insanely radicalized. Yeah.

And it's an unfortunate thing. All you do always comes back to the military industrial complex. Fucked up. It's horrible. That's the little bit of history that you'll probably ever get from this podcast. Everybody gets angry. Whenever we talk about politics, people are like, you should fact check and you should do some research. Like this is a fucking off-the-cuff podcast.

If we fact-checked everything, we would say nothing. Yeah, exactly. Like it would be no purpose to having a podcast. What the fuck should we even fact check? Like things that we've talked about, I feel like we've talked about things that were pretty fucking. Damn their fact. Like, objective? I don't think we did any deep dives anything.

I was like, that's a fucking, that's a hot take there. Yeah, it's a conversational podcast. We're not on a debate stage. Yeah, shut the fuck up whoever said that. Fuck you. Yeah, man. I bet I know it was about to, man. Fuck you.

That Nick Walker wrote in. Oh, my gosh. I thought that was about to be a very different. Oh, yeah. I thought that too when I was writing it. I was like, ah, that's close. An alien invasion a la world. an alien invasion a la war of the world

is about to occur. You have two hours to prepare. Who do you bring? What do you grab? Where do you hide to prepare to survive the probing? I'm going to get a really heavy rock, right? And I'm going to drop it on my head and I'm going to die. That's it.

That's it. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't deal with aliens, man. You have no fighting spirit. It's not that I don't have no fighting spirit. I just have to understand what I'm fighting.

And I can't understand aliens because I'm earthly. Aliens are pretty easily understandable. Shut the fuck up. I mean, from what we've, from what we've, from what we've imagined. Yeah. And we've imagined some pretty, I'd imagine, I would go as far as to say that the shit that we've imagined is probably way more out there than the fucking the fucking things that exist. Probably. I mean, maybe.

I mean, yeah. It's just maybe. It is just maybe. But I would, I would not be surprised. Like, if an alien came here, I feel like I would understand it entirely. I'd be like, that is a fucking this kind of organism. This, like, that probably breeds this. I feel like you are very much to overestimating your imagination.

No, you can just Google this shit. That's what I'm saying. It's like, they come here and you're like, oh, what is that? That's weird. And then like some scientist is probably going to be like, oh, that kind of developmental stage happens when like, oh, this, like a planet has this much gravity. But the thing is that that's in reference to Earth. Yes, exactly.

But the thing is you can't reference Earth when you're going with foreign bodies. What if they're not carbon-based, man? Like, if it's not from Earth, we only understand life on Earth. That's when people say there can be life on Mars. They can be life on Mars similar to life on Earth. But life on Mars could be vastly different because of the fact that it could be silicon base. It could be fucking aluminum.

Like, there's so many things that can be based on. And these are all things that we've named and understand. That's true, but we don't understand organisms at all that are made of those things. That's why when we say, oh, it would be like this, like, that'd be like that in reference to what we've seen so far. If we saw an alien that was a silicon-based life, we would see it and be like, that's silicon-based life. Yeah, and then we'd be like, oh, it should do this and they might not do that. It might just do something completely different because of the fact that- You're off your rocker, dude. No, I think I'm really right.

You're off your rocker. Because think of it like this, okay? there are so many things about us that we already know and then things that we don't understand about ourselves. We can't understand the brain entirely. Right. So how the fuck are we going to assume we understand these alien creatures when we can't even figure out why we do things we do? We understand creatures when they come to it. Like when a creature appears, we understand it.

Not exactly. You're looking at it. You're viewing it. You're not like observing existence through its eyes or anything. You're not trying to like empathize with it. It's not how much exist. No, that's not exactly true. You're just looking at it.

You're viewing it. You don't understand it. To understand it means you are, you understand it. Like, I understand basic math. I understand arithmetic. It's addition, multiplication, and subtraction. And what's the one? Division.

Oh, my God. I forgot the other name. I forgot the other name for a second. You know, I understand that. But if I look at, like, if I look at like freaking like some fucking alien, alien science up, like, I think those are numbers. I just can't imagine seeing a creature that I can't imagine. Exactly.

See, that's... And the second I would see it, I would imagine it. That's what I'm saying. Like, the second you see something, you at least have some basic understanding of what the fuck it is. Chris, Chris, I'm... And I can't believe I'm about to say this. I agree with Sweeney.

I can't believe... You're off your rocker, dude. You're off my rocker. Look, Chris. You're off the wagon. The first... The first fucking old school, good old-boy, old-timey person that saw a fucking plane flying.

Do you think they can identify what the fuck that thing was? they don't exist in the same context that we do where we expect innovation and different things they're not in an existence where they've theorized about aliens for like centuries you try to reference it they just exist they just they're they're old

and they're fucking they're just walking around in the fucking woods and they're like metal bird metal bird what that angel and it's like that's their first assumption but like yeah that's what's what you would do too no you would see you you try to reference I've seen this this looks sort of like this

but I think it might be this. That's what you do. Yeah, but you would have that extra level of, I think it might be, as opposed to a caveman who's like, that angel, that fucking demon, kill it. Everything does that, though. Everything does that, but this is a different stage of human evolution. This is not the same. We're not cavemen still.

We're not, but I just don't think, like, when it comes to, like, space, I just don't, I don't understand it. If a jellyfish, let me put it this way. If you saw a fucking ghost, Something fucking completely supernatural. Anything supernatural. Okay. What would you, what would you assume that to be?

Oh, doom. Like, terror. It's doom. Bad. Not abstract. Like, like actually as a thing. I don't know. I don't know.

I just don't know because that's so not real. That's so not how things work. But you would think about it. You'd probably look at it and you would think about it. You'd be like, oh, what the hell was that? It would just set off like alarms. It would just set off alarms in my brain. It would be a lot.

But like, I don't know. I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, if you. saw I'm having a hard time imagining something that I can't imagine obviously well see that's that's the thing is I think and anything that gets here I feel like would be imaginable I think Chris I think that's just reference to yourself arrogant sir I think you're just I think you're just overestimating what you've seen and you assume that what you've seen is everything that exists which is very not true because there are animals underwater that we don't even like that we haven't even seen yet yeah but when I see a new animal underwater I understand it it pisses me off and it makes me angry and I want to

kill it for sure. You understand that's an animal. You understand that's an animal. Like whenever, like, think of it like this. Like when Lovecraft, whenever he would, um, write something, it would be things that we could barely imagine. We would get a very simple grasp. Like, I guess, I know what tentacles are. I know what things have like weird

skin. So it'd be sort of like that. You'd be like to try to put things together and he might not even be able to reference it the right way. You'd be like, I what is that? Yeah, I know about your hero, man. We don't want to talk about it. That's not my hero. I don't like that, man. I hate him. I fucking hate hate him. He's really good writer though. He's an amazing I want everybody right now to do yourself the greatest favor in the world.

And Google. And Google, I want you guys to, I want you guys to Google the name of H.P. Lovecraft's cat and just, just have a, just have a day. Just bask in the glory of it. And imagine what it would have been like for him to lose that cat and ask for help looking for it in public. This in modern, in modern society. In modern society. Not back when you, not back.

I've always wanted to do that sketch We should do that That'd be so fucking funny We should just do it yeah The three of us would do that We should do that one day we just got to get some time together Like an hour And just figure that shit out

We should just do it in downtown Burbank That'd be hilarious Like near the freaking town center In the walk around I'm like hey have you guys seen my cat Oh what's its name You know it's definitely my cat You know it's you'll know it's mine

And you see it Once If you see it you'll know it's my cat It's my cat And it looks like it's my cat and it responds to you calling it my cat. All right, it'll be some sort of stimulus. You'll see something going on to TED.

Listen, man, I don't know. I don't think it's arrogance in the sense that I think I understand everything that there could be in existence. I just definitely get that's arrogant. I think it is that, but it's only referenced what you've seen. I just feel like nothing. I just don't feel like anything that I could see that is new to me could break me in a way that a fucking plane would break a caveman. I disagree, man, because there's so much stuff that we don't, in the universe that we don't understand. Right.

There's so much of, like, we don't even understand. We don't understand that the concept of, like, the dark matter and, like, and stuff like that. And imagine there came a race of a species that was made up of that shit. And we just don't even, we can't even fathom what that would even be like. Right. But what if it was a color you've never seen? And you're, like, looking at that, and your brain's like, what? And that's a thing.

Your brains on fucking fire. That's an interesting thing. I think about a Battlestarter Galactica, the real. reboot and when the sidelin started to replicate as humans and started look like humans, one of them was so pissed because he's like, why are we these gross disgusting like meatbags? Like, I don't want to be this. Like, they're so inferior. They can't see everything.

They can't smell. Like, they're garbage. And so he was pissed off that like, oh, this is what I have to be. And I was like, I feel you, man. Yeah. Like there are so many different things that we can't even experience or even fathom that is there. Imagine you got to do a fucking something. You got to be a roach for a little while.

Like that would be like, what the fuck? I don't want to be a roach. No. I'm better than a roach, I think. If you were conscious of being a roach, like, too, would you kill yourself immediately? Yeah, yeah. And it'd be hard, too, because roaches are so fucking resilient. Yeah.

You try to jump off a fucking high place. You just float. You're like, because you're so light. Yeah. If you're fall off a building, you'll probably land gracefully. I would just walk in front of a bird and be like, here I am. There you go. I think that will work.

Here I am. Here I take me. I think the thing that I would, if I was a, if I woke. up a bug with your same mental capacity? With my same mental capacity? I think I would, I would, I would immediately try to die. You know what I would do? I would try to rally all the bugs and then take over because there's a lot

of bugs. Because they wouldn't understand you. Well, it's just your mental capacity. You're not, you just... I would use tools and shit to kill other bugs. You're just walking around it, but like, the thing that would freak me out is just knowing that I'm probably fucking disgusting. You know what I mean? Like, just knowing that, like, if I saw myself in a mirror, that would break me.

If I saw myself in a mirror, and I was a fucking roach, I'd be in a fucking mental ward and I'd be saying the same syllables over and over again. You wouldn't know me. Like, I would be completely unknowable because that would just shatter my fucking cerebrum. Yeah, but you wouldn't be in a mental ward because you're a roach. You'd be in a roach mental ward. A roach. Yeah. So what there's like, what if there's like an underground society of people who become just a sentient and, and they're like roaches and bugs and then there's this, like a bug's life. What if a bug's life is real? Where are you going right now?

Somebody. Somebody wrote a bug, wrote a bug's life about their real life. About their real experience, really understanding that they're fucking just shitty fucking barely life forms. Yeah, and they have their own Hollywood and everything. They have their fucking academy. Wasn't you that you were saying that you consider bugs like sent like like, like, uh. Bugs are damn they're not animals. What?

They're like almost not animals. Well, they're insects. They're insects. They're, by fact, they're animals. They're not animals. They're insects. They're animals. These are separate things.

I thought absolutely. You guys are guys, they're animals. These are separate things. They are literally one of the seven groups of animals. They are animals. What are the seven groups of animals? I think it's, um, it's mammals. It's mammals.

Animalope. Antelope. It's mammals, cephalopods, birds, reptiles, insects. Insects are animals. Look, they are. They're not. Like, actually, factually. I don't give a shit with a definite.

I don't give a shit with science. I don't give a shit what this word that defines things are. No, I don't give a shit. I do not give a shit. I don't give a shit with science. And I don't give a fuck what the word murder means. It's all defense, huh? No, it's aggravated assault with a knife.

Until your death. Yeah. So it's murder. It's more like manslaughter. It's not, I didn't do it by mistake. I'm not going to do it by mistake. Oh, excuse me for believing there was good in you. You're fucking slow and.

stupid and silly for that. No, I can't respect. I just don't respect. I just don't I just don't. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. This fuck. You said, you said that you don't kill bugs. What is wrong with you? I don't want to kill bugs. They just get me so mad. I slip into this fucking primate rage

and I fucking squash it. Yeah. Of course you did. I don't want to. Do you know why, Kingston? Why? Because they're not animals. They are animals. They're not animals. They're not animals. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. On a spiritual level I'll put it this way They're not animals

Look look look look look like this Okay if a dog came in here And it was trying to attack me I was like Mr. Dog leave Would you stomp it into the ground? I'd like Mr. Dog leave And I would try to scare it away And if it didn't listen

And it like tried to bite me And like let's say if I could try to bite my jugular And it missing like nick my shoulder I'd be like well man here we go And I'd fucking go primate mode again Now I'd try to bash its headache And then I'd cry about it It'd be like fuck

It had a face I could identify Yeah but you wouldn't cry over a row Roach. Because rogers don't have faces. They do. They don't have, like, mammal-like or bird-like faces. I've seen a roach smile.

Where? What the fuck? I get real up close to them when I kill him. You're fucking bats. You see? You see? You see there? That's that fucking pale skin shit, man.

That is that. He, like, he first tried to colonize them. He first tried to subjugate roaches. And then it feels like, I'm just going to fucking kill them. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to fucking give them syphilis. And then if that doesn't, work, I'm gonna fucking put him in a project.

And if that doesn't work, that's in a project. I was gonna go full sale murder. I just really hate him. I just, I really can't, I cannot for the life of me stand those fucking things. Yeah,

I don't, I don't, I don't tolerate roaches. Just the way they, the way insects move, yeah, specifically roaches. Like,

I understand an ant, because an ant is fast, but it doesn't like, skitter. It doesn't skitter. Quite like a, quite like a, In.

Quite like a roach. They're, they're pretty, yeah. Like they were, I didn't want of the fastest animals. And they're just,

and they're just so strong. No, man. You've never seen a fucking scorpion run. They're really fast. They're fast, yeah. It's, so I never,

I never really noticed how fast they were because I've never, I've only seen them in pictures or videos or whatever. But then living in Arizona, you'll come across one every once in a while. And I just assume, since they're such apex predators, I thought like, oh,

they have to have something that, like, gives something a chance. They're so dominant and strong and everything and they have venom. They'll kill any insect. Oh no, they're also fast as fast as fuck too. They're really fast as they have everything.

They're super fast. They have everything. It could definitely clear this, like, the length of this apartment in like, good, uh, probably like, good five, ten seconds. Yeah, I would say so. They're fast as shit. It's, it's disgusting how fast they are. It really, that's insane.

That really took me. It took me, I was like, I can't, They should not be this fast because they have every other advantage over every other insect. They have a carapace, right? They have the carapace, what is it called? Carapest? Oh, oh. They have the outer shell.

They have the outer shell. They have the pincers. They have the tail. The tail. The pincers, yeah, the pincers, the tail. Damn. The thick, they're fast. They have everything. They have every.

It is the, like, the apex, the pinnacle of insects as far as like evolution, I think, because there's no disadvantage to it. Yeah. Actually, I think they're not insects, actually. I think they're arachnids. They're arachnids. For sure. And like... Arachnids and are the one to other groups.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right. The arachnia, so they're not insects. But it's still like the most insane arachid. What are insane than like... I mean, obviously there's spiders that are just way too big. That don't even make sense. Like I saw, who is it?

Was it Bering or Bering's sugar tits? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think they were like in the backyard, you know, in Australia just doing their thing and by the grill. there was a spider that was like bigger than a hand just there and I was like I can't believe how calm you are my friend that's just insane that's like some sky room shit

let's keep walking to a cave and there's a fucking giant spider there with a gun like you're just like what the fuck is this is this is not a joke one of my friends went to australia and he said he felt something crawling on him he was like oh he thought it was his dog he was like oh my dog is usually bigger than it so he hit it off my dog is usually bigger than this and he heard it hit the floor oh my god he heard it hit hit the floor and he got up turned on the lights and it was a spider. No, no, no, no, fuck off.

And then walking away. No. And I would, now would have been like, that would have, I would have just got on a plane. I would have stalled away on a fucking plane and got away. The second you can hear an insect from across the room, that's not okay. That's so gross. Unless it's like a, like a flying insect where the wings are making the noise, it's like, okay, whatever. I get it.

But like, you should never hear the meat of an insect. Never. Stepping around a room. Never. That is too big. If I hear it, if I hear it, if I hear. anything when I hit it aside from like the sound of my fist hitting concrete or whatever surface it's on. Yeah. That's, that's too big. It's too big for an insight. It's like, it's like a

spider walking in a room and going, and you're just like, what? Clearing his throat. Hey, yo, what's good? You got any breading here? You got any, you got any flies, man? It's just fucking disgusting, man. I can't. I can't with it. The way they skitter, like, the thing with scorpions, though, it's like, you're not going to come across a scorpion super often. and they're not just spawning in droves Roaches just appear, man It's like they're like manifested They just appear for no reason

Even in like the most clean Fucking Prestine rich people homes That exist You'll just find them For a moment If you have food off for a little longer I think they're just everywhere

You know what I read? I read that they eat matter They subsist No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no Their food source is just matter. They can eat anything. They can eat paint chips. They can eat hair.

They can eat fucking burnt food. Fucking normal food. Fucking plastic shards. Fucking lint. Fucking dust. They just feed on... They just feed on everything that can exist. Disgusting.

Get the fuck off my planet. That's actually a really impressive creature. Like, I hate... I hate them. Like, I don't respect them. It just sucks that they look so fucking gross. I wouldn't give them the right to vote or anything. But like

Because we would look at them differently If they looked graceful For example If you zoom into a butterfly It looks disgusting I think they look disgusting a little bit But like it's like They're better than roaches

That's classic sponge bob also It really is It really is Yeah showing it And it makes that buzzing noise That's all frightening and shit Because butterflies don't There's nothing about them

That's just pest them You know Like high butterflies land on me And they just land And they're there for a little bit Then he leave They were like ladybugs, dragonflies. Because dragonflies, they're very big, but they don't fuck with you.

Yo. You know, they can't walk? Yeah, they have to fly, I think. They have to land and then fly. Oh, I have no idea. Their legs are completely vestigial. They just, they're like landing. They're landing gear.

That's it. When I was in St. Thomas, there were dragonflies that sound like RC planes. Were they that big? They were huge. They were huge, and it was on, I couldn't, I could not. They're big. You probably seen something in Puerto Rico. Yeah, yeah.

The second you leave the United States, the second you leave the mainland United States and you go anywhere else, there's always an insect that'll give you a run for your money. There's always an insect that'll just be like, wow, that's a startling size for something that I presumed just not to be that way.

Well, they're all there by the Gulf. The water, man. The water has something in it for fucking bugs that this makes them. The equator, I think it is. I think it's being near the equator. It's better for them to thrive. They don't die during the winter.

That's true. So they keep evolving. It's a better creature. And it's like, yeah, actually. Being in, when I was in, so Louisiana, Texas, insanely awful. But the worst, actually, I would probably say the worst, it was between, Louisiana is the worst. It was, it was the worst. I have stories about that place.

The locust where I was just like, I can't believe this is, it's a, it's a fucking grasshopper that is, that could, and it could be like a friend. It's like it's so big and so like it's like it almost You almost don't want to kill it How big a locusts? They're not that a locust should be able to fit in your hand You know like it's like oh it's there Because it's like a large fucking grasshopper Yeah

But I saw some locust over there that were like You don't want to hit it because it seems wrong Because of how big it is It's almost like say like there's certain things That people consider pests like a like a Possible And shit like that. That's too big for me. I could never hit up.

Yeah, I can never kill it. Like this, go away. I'll shoot you away. Yeah. And the locust was so big that I'm like, that I'm like, that is fucking gross. So I can't. Like a mouse almost. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yo, I really had trouble killing mice for real. I can't do it. I can't do it. Because mice are just nice, dog. They're just nice little animals. I don't have a problem with mice.

I'll fuck up a rat. Because a rat will fight you. That's the thing. Like, a rat will see you. And it knows you're about to square down. And it'll square up a little. bit. It'll be ready for a fight. So I'm just like at that point I'm in survival mode. Like I've held mice before and like they just sniff your hand. They look up for you.

They're just like kind of nice and I'm like what? It's so kind. Yeah. Well I mean street because I mean every animal is kind. Yeah. If they're domesticated and stuff. Every animal is kind because they can't shoot you. That's the difference. It's like we are people and we've learned how to destroy so efficiently. Yeah, we're pretty great. And other animals kind of know that. They're pretty great. I fight the animals that knew that before were the ones. ones that survived in and had baby. So that trait was just instantly put in other ones. Yeah, it's like, man dangerous.

That's why dogs are so fucking cool. Because they're like, you know what? These guys kind of crazy, but like... Well, they became cool. I'm a ride with them. Because wolves will still fuck you up. Wolves, no, wolves won't... If you don't bother wolf, we'll probably just see you and leave.

If it's not hungry. Exactly. If wolves have not eaten in the wild, they will see you and they will chase you down to the ends of the earth. And that's the most terrifying thing about wolves is that they never stop. No, they do. You know what's crazy. Chase you to the end to the air.

You know what's crazy, crazy, crazy? It's insane. A human that is amazing at like distance running could run longer than a dog. Easily, actually. Because since humans sweat, we can cool ourselves down as we run, but since canines don't sweat the right way,

they have to sweat through their mouths. Yes. That means they can't just keep going as long as we go. They run faster than we do. They'll probably get to a point quicker, like a quicker point, like maybe than like miles. Well, see, that's, The biggest problem is that they will

They won't give up you won't outrun Those things like you won't the fact that the fastest humans can can't break 30 miles an hour Yeah, like a dog can do that just like non-impressive dog like a right like my dog does like a not like a non abomination dog Yeah, yeah one of the dogs that just you know stump legs and you know you know like if you have if you have a dog stuff if you have a fucking pug if you have a fucking Frenchie I love those dogs My favorite dog is a Yorkshire Terry I think they're fucking adorable They're little teddy bears

They're abominations Yes absolutely There's no reason why a dog Should be small enough to fit in a bag At any time ever It makes me angry My dog my dog back home is like that And she'll fucking

Break 50 probably Dude that is the fastest dog I've ever seen Because it's tiny that's why It's small and it's just like Nimble So it just like zigzag I've never seen a dog turn 90 degrees quicker than the dog that I have now

It's just fucking scary Your other dog was quick too And it was elderly Yeah, it was terrifying, actually No, my other dog was in a 20th You see like racing dogs and shit, like greyhounds? It's fucking crazy They turn into, they turn into like little jet dogs

Yeah Wills are vengeful though man They'll fucking see people out They're smart They'll see people out, they'll fucking They cause traps Yeah, they said they set traps, dude Not like, not like

Fucking pitfalls and shit They'll ambush you But they'll ambush you like I saw it was the most fuck The video ever seen in my life Because I felt like the animals were laughing afterwards But like, it was It was like a mama bear and like a, it was like a mama bear and a baby bear. And a mama bear was like roaring at this freaking like wolf, no two wolves.

And they were like encroaching slowly. And then one wolf came from behind and grabbed the baby and they ran off. And they were making noise. And I was like, they're laughing at the mom. They're laughing at her. They were giving each other. We're going to eat your fucking kid, bitch. All those months for nothing.

Oh, fuck you. Fuck you. It's really fucked up. They know what they're doing, man. You know what's sad about all that? A wolf would. A wolf would file your taxes incorrectly. On purpose, yeah.

On purpose, if you could. They would siphon your money, like it's happened to all these celebrities. They get their fucking money siphon. Then they have to go to jail. They have to go to fucking prison. I didn't do this. And then the other person, they're so savvy. They're like, oh, I don't know.

And then they're fine. Doing it to somebody else as they say, I don't know what's happening. Hold on, I got to go. I got to pick up this other money. I got to go get the rest of Wesley Snipes money. I'll be right back. That's so fucked up. A wolf will fucking shoot.

A wolf will fucking shoot you and you and you'll shoot you. put gloves on and wait till you come in your house and then hold your hand up and shoot your wife. I never like, damn, it's crazy, huh? I just realized he just never answered this question at all. Wait, what was the question? This is a question about surviving an alien. Oh, my God.

That's so funny, because, yeah, you guys got into it. You guys got into it. That's right. Oh, my God. So you answered yours. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you said you would drop a heavy rock on your own head. Fuck that.

Now, the interesting thing is, because I kind of feel the same way about aliens. I kind of feel the same way because if an alien is savvy enough to get here, there's no chance in hell you're winning. That's just like,

let's be real. Let's be real about it. Because we can't do that. If they can do it, they're miles ahead of, a lot years ahead of us, literally. So,

I know, it could be like Avatar. It's definitely not like Avatar. Right. Right, but still, they still won. Because they had the arrows. Stupid. That entire,

everything about that movie is stupid. I'm talking to a particular, you're the person that's going to listen to this podcast, and you know you're out there, and I know you're listening. Avatar is a fucking awful fucking movie, and I want you to remember I'm saying this. When I see you the next time, cry. Do you know anybody who defends Avatar? Yes.

Really? Yes. I'm actually a stop. I'm not going to say the person's name, but I do know somebody that I read this is a great movie. Do you know there's people that were depressed after they left Avatar because they said it was such an amazing experience? I couldn't, man. I couldn't relate to it at all. It was visually beautiful.

Yeah. It was a story written by a fucking epileptic dumb dumb, dumb, dumb, gummy bear brain, idiot. It looked fine if it was, if the story wasn't like, oh, like when someone pointed out to me, they're like, oh, this is fucking smurfs. And I was like, that's why it's so fucking basic. Because I was like, I don't feel anything. Like, yeah, visually, nice. It's just fucking, it's just Pocohana's. I don't feel anything.

Smurfs. Smurfs. It really is, man. Calm down. Just these blue little dumb things. Spock honest, just Elizabeth Warren is walking around on fucking Pandora. Oh, my gosh. I don't know.

Yo. Hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait. So, let's answer the fucking question. Move on. We're about where we almost did it again. Yeah, we almost totally got Dural. Really?

We almost totally got Derell. Holy shit. I don't know. I feel like I would just, I would hoard weapons. That's the thing. Because the second, everybody else, Everybody else is going to be hoarding supplies and hoarding food and like, oh, it's a real smart. Yeah, you want to get yourself a lot of stuff so you can subsist and survive.

And then I'm going to come in with my weapons. And I'm going to say, hey, this is mine now. Thanks for all your hard work. Get out. You're such a man. You are, like, I say fucked shit. But instinctually, your mind always goes to weaponry and harming others. Well, that's what instinct is, literally.

Yeah, he'd be like one of those. You're a monster. This is the end of days. Oh my gosh. Dude, do you understand that you cannot survive on your own? You shouldn't just fucking run up in people's places with fucking guns blazing, putting holes in people. I'll keep the strong ones.

This guy's a fucking... So here's the deal. You're a Darwinistic piece of shit. He's definitely one of those people because, like, obviously, even in, even as we live now, the strongest or the cycle paths are the ones that are the most successful. Yeah. So he would definitely do very... well. You'll say like you say like you would kill yourself me I probably would

too or I wouldn't necessarily kill because I don't ever think they can kill myself I think I would wait I would wait until I was vaporized by whatever the alien shit was yeah I don't want to get probed I don't want to get fucking I don't think aliens they're not gonna prove you I don't think they have to kill you if anything yeah I don't want to like I play too much d and d mind flares aliens and they put little tadpoles in your fucking head and they eat your brain you turn into one they'll probably not doing that Kingston they'll probably just hit you with a really hard thing yeah like they'll do something I think or what Or what if they try to fucking, like, terraform the planet?

Here's the thing. And, like, I just don't want this shit. Here's, here's the reality of, of, of, of, here's the reality of murder. Of murder. Here's the reality of murder. There is no more efficient way to kill another living being than just hitting it with a hard thing real fast. Bludgeoning. Like, even an alien will probably just resort to hitting you real quickly with something real hard.

That's true. But think of it like this. They're not going to put, like, they're not going to, like, scatter you. you off and do a little cage and put like a little worm in your head just to, and like clap along the fucking weird alien penis music. I don't know what the fuck that even is. What is penis, alien penis, woke age. You don't know what penis music is?

Not, no. Penis music is hype music. Okay, whatever. So what are these? What are these aliens are made of like some type of, some type of metal that's stronger than anything we've ever could even think about, even fathom? and they show up

and they literally punch everyone to death. Like they start real intimate. Like they just get on top of you and you can't move it. They just get on like your fucking pelvis and then they just start punching the shit out of you. And like you block the first two and your arms are fucking like fucking slimmer.

And then they just start fucking bashing you into the floor and they do that everywhere. Every single person on earth this, they finish them off. So would you, how would your guns? Well, how well would your guns do? in that scenario Chris.

Yeah, you dumb dumb. I was that about the aliens. Oh yeah. That's true. It's about subjugating human. It's about it's about it's about in this time of us as human beings are being threatened.

It's about me dominating what's left of them. God, your white skin, Chris. Dog, damn it's crazy. Listen, man. You just got a, you just got to subjugate.

Here's the thing. If you don't do it, someone else will. That's the thing. Somebody else will do that. And then I'm going to be there with the weapons and then like suddenly they're going to thank. me for being there because I'm the only one who bothered to think about offensive tactics.

Everybody else is busy. Fucking, Ooh, let's get some Twinkies. They survive forever. I'm not gonna think about that. I'd fuck a Twinkie. I know it'd be pretty good. You fuck the Twinkie?

No, I would in that scenario. Like warming up a little bit? Yeah, I feel like, I feel like because like, I mean, they look like they're prime for that. You just take off the top or something, like just break off a little piece and then you kind of... Warm it a little bit. Like a very little bit. You can't warm it to when you'll be hot.

It'll be a hot cream. That'll burn your dick. But it's a little. little, like a little, like, it would be like 10 seconds. They just remind me of something. Cut the top of it off and then just go to town. And then people aren't even going to notice when you finish, you know? And then you just get it to somebody.

Oh my God. That's so gross. And he's giving us someone. And Chris, Matt, I got an extra tweaky. Yeah, the top of it fell off. You can have it still Fucking Twinkie without the top So I'm the crazy person

For wanting to kill people But you're fucking Twinkies And coming in them and giving them to people In a fucking apocalypse scenario That shit is hilarious Is this for the laws man? Yeah for the laws, yeah cool Fucking psychopath

That's insane Yeah it is Because that's not even tactically minded at all That's just like that's just like madness. That's just like you're being an asshole for no reason. I mean, there's a reason. There's no reason. Give me a reason.

What the fuck else I'm going to do? You come in a Twinkie and give it to someone. What's the reason? What's the laughing asshole? You're laughing about it too because it's hilarious. Oh my God. If you see somebody in a cum-filled Twinkie is not the funniest shit ever, and you're looking at it to be like he's going to fucking eat this cuffel tweaky.

It's just so much more barbaric than walking into a place with weapons and threatening to take. That is somehow more barbaric It's not more barbaric It's just It just makes so much less sense It's definitely more barbaric I don't know about barbaric

Is this insane That's barbarism That's fucking barbarism Yo Oh my God Derek thank you for Thank you for helping me Finish that journey

Hey man I set you up You knock him down Thank I appreciate you God damn Where do we even go from there Carl Weezer's juicy Cum dumpster ass rod in Carl

He says What are your guys experiences with psychedelics slash other drugs and do you have any funny drug related stories? I haven't really done many. I haven't done any actually now I think about it. Well Carl when I think about psychedelic drugs.

I'm cutting all this out. I'm cutting all this out. Hey please. I just I don't know I haven't done any of this really. I don't do psychedelics. I did Molly one time and it was a horrible experience and I decided to never use drugs again. Ever I was like Molly was a horrible experience. Why? Never time because

I did Molly and I like I did Molly. I went to Florida. It's like right before, that's like maybe like a few months before I moved. I did Molly and went to Florida. I went to, I went to Florida because it was EDC, Orlando.

Okay. So I did Molly like like maybe like six months before I moved to California. And I had my girlfriend at the time. I did Molly. We went and we literally banged for like six hours straight. Like I was like on fire. I was like, but like I felt like I was sitting on fire.

Then afterwards like I said, I didn't drink enough water. Yeah, okay And like I was drinking water But it wasn't enough And in the next day I had like a serious headache And I've

I don't I don't really ever feel that sad Like I get sad every now And then for like a long period of time But then I don't really feel that But for some reason I could not control how bad I felt All my endorphins were gone

No, you're your serotonin Your serotonin Yeah, serotonin There you go It was all gone Yeah And I was just like I feel like not good

Like I'm scared Wow you felt like How a lot of people feel like normally and they need fucking uh uh the serotonian inhibitors like that shit's insane like i literally went home and i like i for the first time in like years i sat down to spoke to my grandma to feel better because i felt like i was i felt scared i was like this is not i don't feel like this ever i think no the thing of i thought molly was not supposed to do that and it was it might have been ecstasy honestly i think i think molly's like pure the stuff and i think something else i can be

totally wrong i don't know shit about psychedelics and all that stuff so somebody could be i'm just gonna stop why I'm head myself. But the only thing that I've ever tried was, uh, was called Salvia. Salvia was just like, never, I never did it.

Because Salvia, because it was the thing that it's like, hey, it's only for a few minutes instead of like, because I, I don't like the idea of, of doing shrooms and tripping for hours. That,

like, I can't be in, I can't be like, you know, having some type of like being out of control and not controlling myself for hours. That freaks me out. So all right,

automatically, I think I'm going to have a, bad trip because I'm already going to freak out about oh um I don't know what's going to happen and it's just going to fuck me up but the saviya it didn't really do anything for me the only thing I saw and it was I don't know if I fuck because we smoked it right and maybe it was just like old and fucked up because I just saw like bus saws and they were like kind of flying through the air oh really it was really disappointing you're a fucking level and some kind of Like a fucking platformer.

Yeah. Oh, wow, look at this. No, I was like, okay, that, that's it. And my friend, though, he almost, he almost leaped. Like, he, like, not, and I don't mean, like, off a fucking building. I mean, he was, like, quantum leap type of. He was about to sit. He was, he was, like, he was in the corner, like, stretching.

He was on the, like, sitting down, laying on the floor, and he was stretching. And then, like, when he came out of it, he was like, oh, man, I almost made it. Like, like, he was, like. You know, drugs are fucking nutty, bro. Like, that's, like, after that, I was like, I'm going to stick only to weed and, like, drinking every now. And then, I don't even smoke anymore. I'm just, like, I'm just not into drugs anymore. I've just done.

I don't do anything, man. Yeah. I really drink. I don't. The only time I consistently smoked weed was when I was, like, um, when I realized that, because I've, I've had girlfriends before 2013. But this is when I realized I was like, oh, this is like what real love is. Yeah. Yeah, because, like, I was like, oh, I deeply cared for her.

And then when, when she left, that shit, like, fucked me. You know, because before it's like, oh, I've been in breakups and everything. I'm like, oh, whatever, bitch. Yeah, that shit fucked with me, man. And then, and it fucked with me more because I got her job. This is I knew I got her job there. And then so I still had to, like, see her. And then, and now that's the fucking worst.

Oh, it was. And then so I was just smoking and smoking cigarettes, too. Cigarettes really helps with anxiety. It distracts you. I don't know if it really helps. The addiction of it? I think so. How distracted your anxiety?

And I actually did. But, guys, if you ever want to, if you ever want to not be no, no, no, no, no. I'm saying if you ever want to not be addicted to something, like say caffeine or, or nicotine or whatever the fuck it is,

get really sick. Like, get the flu. Get the coronavirus. Get the coronavirus. And then so, you're going to feel so shit. that you're already going through the withdraws and you're not noticing the withdraws. You're just noticing the, because I had the flu very badly in 2013 one time. I was sick for like two weeks.

And then I didn't even notice the withdraws of the cigarettes. And I was after I got healthy, I was like, oh, I'm good. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm great. What about you, Chris? You never did any hard drugs? No. No cocaine.

No, no psychedelics at all. No, I've just never been into it. Just did the weed. Did some weed. smoked some... I drank some weed. I had it, ate a weed. I mean, that's...

Inhaled a weed. I did everything with weed. Man, I ate a weed. God damn it. I just, I don't know. Like, the... I don't mind necessarily the effects of, like, tripping for hours. In fact, I think that's like the...

Like, if I'm gonna trip for like a couple seconds, I almost don't even think it's worth it to poison my body in any way. It's like, you're not even getting anything out of it. It's like being drunk. It's like, if I'm gonna have a beer and not get drunk, then there's no point in having the beer. I'm just gonna have a juice or fucking literally anything.

It's water. I don't think like that is not, I mean, it's crazy that you're not an alcoholic because that's how an alcoholic thinks. What? Like, if, I mean. Well, because I don't like the taste of alcohol. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. Like, I just don't like it.

I'll drink if, like, other people are drinking and I'm hanging out with them. Yeah. But I'm not going to seek alcohol out for you. I'm not hanging out. But once I go hard, I go hard. Like, once I start, like, once I start drinking, I'm like, yo, this is about to be a fucking event. Yeah. Because I'm going to get fucking plastic.

And I'm definitely more okay with it now that I just know that I could just cure my hang over immediately with two glasses of pediolite. Yeah. So it's like, it really does. So it's like, okay, well, now the effects aren't so bad. It still has negative effects on you. But I don't know. I don't know.

I've had the opportunity to do shrooms and stuff, but I think I'm just stressed out at the idea of like seeing shit that's going to break me. Or like change the way I think or like fundamentally just. See, that's what I want. I can't do that. I want to do that. I don't, but I don't want it to be for hours. I like, I like the idea of doing DMT where it lasts like 15 to 20, minutes.

DMT scares me. That shit terrifies me, man. I like the idea of hallucinating just because, like, it's just VR, but like the best kind of VR that you're going to ever experience, probably. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like dreaming. It's like dreaming while you're awake.

Like, that's like ultimate VR. Exactly what is. That's what the DMT does. Yeah. I can't, I'm down to do that as long as I could. If I could control what I was going to dream about, I would be all over it because I would be like, I want to be Spider-Man today. That would just like fucking, you know, have a Spider-Man dream all I'm awake.

That'd be amazing. That would be pretty amazing. But the chances that I'm going to see, like, I don't know, some dead man walk out of my own chest. That's another thing where it's like, ah. And like what I don't want to, I don't, for me, like, there's lots of times where I have a dreams where I don't know if it's real or not. And I don't want to have to like have this experience. And then like for months, I'm like, did that really happen? Should I talk to somebody about it?

No, I can't talk somebody about it. But I feel like it happened. And I'm just going to be in my head about this fucking me, fucking using DMT. and talking to God for three hours. And I'm just like, yo, where you been, bro? I've been on the block the whole time. I'm chilling. Like, I don't need that.

You know what I've done instead is I will will myself into a state of sleep paralysis and I'll indulge in that hallucination for a little bit. That's awful. It's cool. Because once you're doing it and you're not scared of it anymore. It's just like crazy shit happens. You constantly tell me I'm fucked and then I constantly realize you are all so fucked. What are you talking about?

I'm normal. Nobody wants, like, you're not. No one enjoys sleep paralysis other than you. I don't have it anymore. I'm a big boy now and I just stopped having it because I don't dream anymore. I've just gotten over it. That's weird. Yeah, I just got over it because I don't.

How do you get over dreaming? Like it's the chemicals in your head that's supposed to do it. There's nothing in there. It's just darkness. It's darkness and hate in there. It's just darkness and hate. It's his hate. Every night where I go to bed, I say hate until I fall asleep.

Then I pass out. Dude, you need to fucking, you need to cut an album. The title, Darkness and Hate. I like that. I literally chant hate before I go to bed That I go to sleep What you're saying though That's the whole fear of being chopped in a coffin

Like underground is like I can't move How would you want that? Why would you like oh yeah I can't wait to not be able to control my body It's the ultimate form of claustophobia man Literally but it's in your own vessel Yeah I don't like it I don't like that part That part's not fun Well then what's the point of even wanting to fucking tap into that at all

Because you can have crazy hallucinations Without any of the side effects of like crazy fucking I've never hallucinated drugs I never had any hallucinations people like oh I see a demon is like I don't see a demon I never saw a demon I see my uncle Ted but like he's not he's actually a really nice guy I've never seen the demon I've never seen that demon or like everybody some people say they see like a like a like a creature with a white face yeah like I see paralysis demon with a with a little white face or like a or like a witch sitting on their chest that's the most common

one that I've seen yeah but like I haven't seen any of that the only ones that I've seen I saw like like a goblin that like walked in my room and it was like making fun of me like while I sleep he can't move what an idiot I was like what the fuck is it fucking roger clots what was that kind of yeah actually I think so like I remember hearing it though it's like I was like wow I'm like hallucinating and it's like auditory that's wild

but I was like very aware that it was just a hallucination I think that's kind of the thing where it's like I don't know if there's really anything that could convince me that it isn't a hallucination if I'm like already in that state of mind I'm like I feel like I'm very very very self-aware

to a point where it's like probably not super good. But I feel like I'm so self-aware to the point where, like, if I am hallucinating, like, crazy, tripping on shit, I am going to be aware that I'm tripping on shit. So I feel like it would just be, like, fun. And that's why the sleep paralysis is so interesting. It's like, I don't really do this. Like, I did it like twice or something just because, like, oh, this keeps happening.

And I'm not scared about it. It was like, ah, might as well. And then I had that hallucination with a little goblin. But then I realized that I couldn't even see the goblin because my glasses were off. So, like, it was blurry anyway. And I was like, I've been a. fucking Eminem on the side of his fucking room doesn't make it fun of him. No, but that's what that was so interesting to me because I was like, what the fuck?

Even like my brain, even something that I'm creating manifesting in my brain, I can't see without my fucking glasses. Damn. You might not even need glasses, actually. You might just be thinking you need glasses. Dude, I've thought about that a lot because I remember there was one time when I went to school and I didn't have my glasses on. I totally forgot that I didn't have my glasses on.

And some kid was like, where's your glasses? And I immediately couldn't see anything. I vividly remember that. And I'm like, what the fuck? power of their mind. There's a theory about that man. Like we, we, we, uh, placebos are insanely powerful. Insanifying. The clinical tested all the time and it shows how well they work, how placebo's work. One thing that always trips me out and I've noticed about this with a lot of people who have, um, terminal cancer is that they're fine until, they're fine

until they know they have it. Like, they're like, oh, I feel a little bit weird. And then when they feel like, oh, I'm sorry, you have like terminal cancer. You have like stage four. And they die within a month. It happens. I know multiple people where they're like, they've had cancer for a long as time. It takes a while to get to that point. But they're just like, I feel a little sick. And then it's like, if they just held on longer, would they have lived longer? Because the idea of like...

They probably just would have passed away with like no fucking hint of what was... Because definitely knowing it makes you... It makes you feel worse. Because it makes you feel worse. It makes you like infinitely more depressed. It like puts a lot of stress on you at that point. So it's like, obviously it's going to fuck you away worse. Yeah.

But you're still going to fucking... and you're still going to crope real soon. Yeah, of, like, probably eventually, but it's just definitely knowing being conscious of your demise, like you're going to die and speeds up the process. It definitely makes it worse. I remember, like, I went into surgery in, like, 2014 for, like, a lymph node biopsy.

It had, like, a swollen lymph node. I was like, what the fuck is this? This is the second time it happened, too. It happened once in 2004, actually. It was, like, 10 years apart. It's super weird. So I guess I'm expecting another one in, like, three years. But they were like, oh, this could be, like,

this could be, you know, lymphoma. Let's just like take a biopsy to make sure it's like not crazy. And I remember thinking like, oh, like I could die. And I remember being like weirdly relieved by it. Because I was immediately thinking not to be dark right. It wasn't like depressing or anything. It was more just like, oh, like I don't really have to worry about anything now because I'm just going to die soon. Dude, it's crazy.

And I have so much money now because like all your, all the money that you have. Like if you have like two grand, which I probably had about that around. that time. I was like I saved up like two two thousand dollars working at fucking sears or whatever and like I found out that I like I could die and I was like oh $2,000 isn't a lot for the rest of my life but it's it's a lot for a year. I could do some cool shit in a year with $2,000. It's weird it's weird like I have that same idea like whenever I think about dying I don't think I don't get sad yeah I get sad for other people yeah I get sad for that's like I was gonna like this is gonna be really tough on my friend

it's gonna be it's gonna be suck it is gonna be like oh it's gonna be sucky for people that care about me, I'm just dying. But then, like, when I die, I'm like, yo, instantly, like, fuck life. Like, I don't got to respect this fucking motor quo no more. Like, I would definitely, I would definitely probably be, like, I'm going to do fuck shit. I would definitely probably, I feel like I would definitely probably be more sad now just because I have more of a life. Yeah. Yeah.

But, like, I don't know. I was like fucking seven years ago. So, like, 19 year old. Yeah, I was like, yeah. I don't know. I have to go to college. It's all stressful. I hate this.

That is a relief. Thinking about something like that. We're like, oh, I don't have to deal with that. Like me, I don't have to deal with taxes or anything. That would be great. That would be fucking amazing. I can't help it, but I'm really in tune with my instincts. And the thing that goes through my head is thinking about death is,

I haven't left my mark on this earth. And that's basically what survival is, like spreading your seed or legacy something. And that kind of goes through my head. And where I'm like, fuck, if I die, it stops with me. And there's nothing, nothing has happened. And that's not how, I don't typically, I don't feel like that. It's like it defaults to that It's like you need to

Because that's why You know that's why like Anything is here That's why you have the urge to bang So you can fucking you know Procreate and shit And so it's really weird And that I'm like

That's some real Fucking evolutionary shit Eight brain shit Yeah Real talk and I'm like I don't I don't like it But I can't help it Dude I can't wait to die man

Honestly Like people think I'm kidding Yo I can't fucking wait to die. I cannot wait to I've always, I just wanted to know what it'd be like after death and like then it'd be like either it's nothing and I'm out. I'm out like a light and that's it. Or like it's

some wild shit going on and I'm a partaking now wild shit I guess. Now it's it's nothing. It might be. No, I know. It might be. I wish it was something but I hope there's something because like I know people that are religious that are good people that live their life based on it's like oh, there's going to be an afterlife and they deserve an afterlife. They live

they've done good for the world. I do. Some of them Some people have done, like, good things. Some, some, no doubt. Sure. But, like, sure. Sure. I don't know, man.

I think, I want to blow up. I want to die in a lot of pain, though. In a lot of pain. Yeah, I want to die a lot of pain real quick, though, like, real quick. I could arrange that. Well, then, I think. Like extreme, like, then being set on fire would be the best way to die. That's not a lot of, that's not real quick.

That's the most, yeah, you will die. Dude, because you're going to die very fast. Your brain's going to boil, and then you're going to start hallucin me. You'll probably die within seconds if you're set on fire. Not seconds. Yeah. If you're engulfed in flames, dude, you're going to die within seconds. Not, well, I guess my body would just turn off.

I'm like, oh, that's enough. We're not doing this shit anymore. It doesn't take long to cook the fat in your brain. I want to be deatomized, but I want to feel every parts of my atoms be pulled apart. You're weird, man. Just so I can know, like, that's maximum pain. You're way stranger. That's crazy.

You're way stranger than I. That's not true. Okay. That's not true. We're both, we're a pretty spoiled batch. I think here's what's going to happen. You're going to die and it's going to be blackness and it's going to be nothing. And that's going to be lit.

No, it's not. It's not going to be anything. It's not going to be anything. It's going to be permanent nighttime and I love that. It's not permanent nighttime. Dark. Eternal rest, man. No, it's not anything like that.

It's just nothing. It's just not a thing. It's not just you're sitting in eternity with no light or anything. It's so fucking cynical, man. He's dark, bro. He's a darker. I'm all this guy. Your heart is darking in my skin.

It's just the fucking math, dude. You're born. right and you remember nothing before you're born it's not like an infinite lifetime of darkness before you're born you just don't remember anything and then you die and it's the same shit it just makes the most sense I mean yeah that's a theory Genesis says Genesis 14 says a heathen in the beginning

my nigger my nigger the sky nigger created heavens and the earth you feel this shit this is just the whole real hip-hop nigger that's real hip-hop nigger that's really just it says it's literally just the holy bivisal we have that book it's basically this it's basically this

with the father the son and the holy nigger the holiest nigga ever dog I think it's radiant I think um I think I hate this conversation I think you're not sure yet I'm not certain yet

but I feel something yeah I got it to do you're just a broken person You, dude, my fucking psych, like, I think I'm fine, but like, all, everything points to like, yo, I'm really not okay. There's going to be a super cut of everything you said this episode, followed by that sentence. I think I'm fine. I think I'm fine.

I can't wait to die in a massive amount of pain. Yeah. I think I'm fine. Yeah. I'm not hurt anybody, so I'm chilling. No, you're not, I guess not. I'm not a threat. I would love, I'll put it this way.

I would love to haunt people. Oh, hell yeah. I would love that. Like, if there was an afterlife and I was, like, permanently stuck. as like a ghost, there's no, in my opinion, no downside to that. That is just like you've ascended. Now you're just Danny Phantom. Now you're Danny Phantom, except you don't have to deal with the eventuality of having

to contribute to the government. Can you imagine as a ghost possessing somebody and jumping off anything that's a little bit like just something, nothing that's like fatally high, but something that's like definitely like two high. Two stories. No, one story. One story is two stories. One story and like half a staircase.

Like, like, you know, there's. You know those stairs that go downward? That'll fuck you good. And then you just, you like land and you look like a fucking velociraptor. You have elite legs. I fucking love that. I'd be the biggest troublemaker ever, man. Because the only reason I don't do a bunch of like trickster shit is because of the laws.

It's like I don't want to slip up and take it too far. Then I got to go to jail. Yeah. I don't know. See, this is the problem. This is any time, I want everybody to take note of this specific conversation because this is,

this is lawlessness. This is humankind without laws, without restraints. Yeah. They're horrible. Oh yeah. Absolutely despicable. I don't want to kill people. I just want to fuck with people.

Yeah. That's it. That's all I want to do. It's the most, it's fun. Seeing people like, like, come on, seeing people drop their fucking food and shit like that. It may not be hilarious,

but you chuckle. If I could drain that pool into someone's apartment, I probably would. That's fucked up and there's nothing nice about it. But I kind of want to see someone's house full of pool water. See, the closest thing we can do to being like a ghost and having no boundaries is being insanely rich. Oh yeah.

No, the rich is super like. Because you can do that same thing to somebody. You empty that pool into their farm. apartment and then just give them a million dollars yeah and then they're fine first they're gonna be mad but they'll have way more money than i ever would have had like and i lost this stupid apartment for that wow that's fine big fucking deal so one thing i've i've been saying this since high school i want to get rich and i want to walk up to people i want to put on my fucking uh my my my hand wraps and put on my gloves probably like 10 ounce gloves and just knock people out

and then stuff 10 000 on their pocket and then so they wake up like what the fuck 10 grand's probably not enough 10 grand that's enough it's not because you're gonna get knocked unconscious and then an ambulance is going to take you. That's three grand. And then you're going to be in the hospital for a little bit. That's like another couple grand. Now you're just, you know you got four grand, maybe five grand left. And that's like maybe like a rent for a couple months. I'm not knocking out people that are going to go to the fucking hospital.

I'm knocking out people that. What does that mean? What does that mean? You're knocking people out in public, right? Someone's going to call someone's going to call an ambulance. I'm not, I'm not, I don't need, I don't need spectators. You know? Me and you in a dark. But this is public, right?

Are you going to lure people into a fucking box? No. It is, come here. It is public. But you know how there's public spaces Like you can be on a park like there's people playing basketball Chris we're from New York dude I see people get knocked down people step over them man

Yeah I've seen that shit People don't give a fuck really But people are calling the police No I mean I feel like someone might call the police And then especially if they see me in my in my fucking gold suit And then they see Because there are people in New York right

Who will walk over you right But across the street There's a kind like Hispanic lady Who's like I don't like this I don't like this like, Ah, Yura. I don't like this.

And then they call the cops. And then they fuck your mother. That's what happens. Like, I've seen it. My mom's this person. My mom will see, like, the last time she told me. My grandma's good. When I went to, um, when I went to New York this past Christmas, uh, I took like some of our

family from Virginia down to the city because they wanted to go. And they took this, they took, they went into a subway station and these two people were fighting. And everybody was just recording and like laugh it. They were like, aha, they're fighting on the fucking subway platform. I've never actually seen that before. I've seen argue on it, but I've never seen altercation. It was like just a straight of physical fight on the subway platform.

They could easily fell in. Could have easily been a live leak situation. But, and everybody's just laughing and recording. And then my mom's like, I can't do this. I can't do this. And then she called and then ran away because she didn't want to deal with questioning. Oh, she's a good human. My grandma's like that too.

If someone's hurt, if she's like, are you okay? Do you need something? And I'm like, that's fine. You can tend to them afterwards, but. Let them, let one die? On the street level, you don't, you just don't get cops involved, man. To me, that's always, like, the worst thing. It's not, and it doesn't have to do with, like, oh, I didn't get a shot or something.

It's just, it always complicates things. If someone... It definitely does. If someone is fucking, like, brain dead after they've been knocked cold, then, okay, maybe somebody should call the ambulance. Okay, maybe the place you get involved. You get knocked out, you're confused, and then you just, all right, walk it off. It's true, though. How many fights have there been?

Club, parties, everything. Everyone gets knocked out every once in a while I've been a what do you call it shit I've been rocked I've never been knocked out But I got rocked one time And it was because they do this thing called crowd killing At like metal and hardcore shows

You know these fucking pieces of shit Will run and just start punching people in the crowd It's the worst thing ever The only people that like it are the people that do it Yeah no shit Yeah right It's just like it's a thing that's And for some reason it was tolerated for like a long time

And some guy he accidentally hit me Luckily, he just hit me on the temple. So it just... Temple's pretty important part. Yeah, but... People turn off from that. But, like, say, if you, I mean, if you, if you get hit, like...

On the side of the jaw, like the right spot, your focus. I totally, because that guy was heavy-handed, he was just all beef. And so, I remember seeing how people describe it in movies and shit, and it's real. Things slow down. I've been knocked on. That shit's fucking horrifying. I still don't know what it's like. Because you go from being on to off the waking up and you're like, what fuck.

I still don't think 10 grand is like that. You got to make it at least. You got to make it at least. It's like 20. I mean, look, you're thinking, you're thinking it in the way that... You're rich. It's not a lot.

That's the thing. It's not, but you're thinking of it in the way of, and I think, like, I imagine me, if somebody knocked me out and put 10 grand in my pocket, I'd be like,

that's fucking awesome. No. If somebody beats me up and puts 10 grand in my pocket, I'm suing them. See, that's your... I'm suing. Because now you thank you for paying

for my lawyers. See that sweet skin you have? You see that, that's what that's what that is, man. Like, say, there's there's I I wasn't expecting 10 grand I can easily get knocked out for free and he could just knock me out and walked away

except here's the thing now that's a blessing except here's the thing now you've now put a target on your back because you're going around just willy-nilly putting 10 grand in people's pockets and now it's like oh I'm going to sue this fucking guy because he's got a lot more than 10 grand obviously and this 10 grand is going to my legal fund

it's going to go after this fucking dude I'm going to get maybe like 50 grand maybe 100 See, those people... Why would you not want to maximize... Because I am not a piece of shit like that. That's the problem. I like how the person who got beat up non-consensually

and wants, you know, fucking some recourse for it is the bad person. But not the guy beating people up in the street just because he's rich. Look, you're fucking fascinating. Look, all I got to say is that I... Look, Bluebird 2020. If someone knocked me out...

If someone knocked me out and I put that $10,000 in my pocket, I'd be like, I'm upset because I got knocked out in the street. I don't know what happened to me while I was unconscious, but now I have 10 grand. That's what I'm saying. That's what I would go. I would be like, I have 10 grand now. That's pretty dope, I guess. Until you walk, until you lazily walk into a fucking bar and like, I want some beer and then you fucking give them all your fucking money because you're too stupid and daze to even understand what the pay. Bro, when you get knocked out when you wake up, when you wake up, when you wake up, everything's a little confusing.

You start up immediately and it go about your day because you can't even do that usually. You get up and you stumble a little bit. I'm just going to sit up. I'm like, man, I hope I didn't get raped. You're going to let me check and see everything. Also, here's the thing also. You're knocked out. He puts 10 grand in your pocket.

Someone's going to take that fucking money. Look, man. The scenario that I'm picturing. You didn't work all the kinks to it. No, see, I think I did. I think you guys, I think, Chris, I think you're envisioning a very public place like New York, like something where there's a bunch of people there. And then they see this and then someone's going to call the cops.

Someone's going to steal that money. All this. I can't think of a public place. So I'm thinking of my city, my hometown, La Habra. Like, say, I'm walking down La Habra Boulevard across, even from the high school. Just some dude. Just one dude on a sidewalk? A lot of times there's like nobody there.

It's very barren, you know? Like, everybody's in their cars. And then that, sorry, Idaho Street, not La Habra. Idaho is, it's not a lot of people. Okay. You rarely see. So there's one person just walking from the agriculture thing that's across from the high school. Just knock them out.

slip 10 grand in the pocket and guess what that motherfucker especially since he's not number one he doesn't give a fuck about suing people he doesn't let me it's and look and when I say like the skin thing there was this rich guy that we were gonna fight these people at La Habra this was when I was a freshman the reason I didn't fight him and he was inviting to be knocked out he put his chin you know in my face like he's like do it and the only reason he had confidence is because his older brother showed up and then this other dude that was actually pretty buff but then I had a had gangsters that

like didn't like these people they were backing me up and the only reason i didn't fight them was because i'm like these guys are going to sue me that was the only reason i was if it was if it was if there were any if they were mexican but anything i would have like oh we're throwing down it's going to be i don't care if i lose it's we're just going to throw down but i know they would sue us and those are the type of people that would avoid you know it's crazy you know it's like honestly like i i i've fought every i fought people of pream i haven't fought an asian guy yet because you know i'm not i'm not trying to die But what's you call? I fought white people and I get more scared because I feel like if the cops would come and they'd see me beating on the white man, that would just look so bad.

I just get like really scared. Like if I fight a white kid, I fight him. I win and I leave. I don't stick around. I don't fucking, I don't talk shit. I don't get like, yeah, you should have said that nigga. I'm like, yo, I won this fight. He might have money in his wallet.

I'm not going to rob. Not this time. And I run off. It's only good the idea to fight. a white dude from like a trailer home yeah trailer part because then then there's like because it has to be like has to be urban because those parents they don't give a fuck they're not gonna call the cops they're actually probably gonna get mad that you got your ass whooped yeah but that kid's probably gonna be not the most fun opponent yeah he'll probably have a gun you'll

have like a fucking butterfly after he's twirl on his tongue he probably has something he has a broken bottle or so there's something i'm just saying you got to you got to think about the fact that you're thinking of expansion. That's what you're thinking of. I'm thinking of an opportunity. You are thinking of opportunity. I just, I'm not that person though, man. It's smart. The people, the people who you target might be. That's the thing. So if I, if I knock out a young nigga, he's not going to do that. So, and that's, and like, I know. He's going to wake up. I'm like, God damn, I got $10,000. You're trying to, you're trying to, you're trying to, you're trying to go get some chicken. Like, you're trying to, you're trying to go get some buses. That is a stereotype that

I just never understood. Everybody loves chicken. Because fried chicken. is so fucking objectively. Objectively delicious. It hits on every single station. And you know what's funny too? It's actually like compared to a lot of things that you eat as far as like meat goes. It's actually some of like one of the healthiest ones. Even fried.

Which is insane. So there's only a small coating of like of like the fucking grease. Well because people are afraid of like fried foods but like it's really like the trans fats and shit and like the fucking it's really sugar that fucks people up. Sugar is the worst. Sugar is the thing that fucks people up massively. I know. And what is the other, the carbs, the refined carbs? Yeah.

Yeah. So that kind of shit, you stay away from that. But like, I don't know. Like, fried foods is like, there's not, like, my great grandparents lived for a fucking long-ass time, and they fried everything. In Puerto Rico, they fried every fucking thing they could get their hands on. My dad's side of my family.

They're from Texas. Everything was fried and had gravy on it. Yeah. And they were fine. Yeah. Because it's no, there's no sugar in that. They just get real shit. is get real food and they make it, then they fry it, and that's it.

Yeah. I love the idea of, like, just, because, you know, there's chicken fried steak and stuff. Oh, yeah. And they fry everything. Everything is called chicken fried. You chicken fry it. So then even if you're making a patty of chicken, like chicken, like chicken fried chicken. And I was just like, is that, you guys really?

Really? It just makes it sound more delicious because it's like the second you say chicken fried, it's like, yeah. It immediately, you immediately taste something great when you hear that. Chicken fried chicken, chicken fried steak. And I'm like, what the fuck? And then he put it. the fucking, they put the white gravy on the chicken fried steak.

Ooh. Classicals. I got a fucking... They don't have big chains of fucking good soul food. No, no. Southern fried food. It doesn't make any fucking sense. In SoCal, I was like, dude, there's just...

Do you know why? Honestly, I think it's because it's hard to maintain the level of quality that people expect in a chain environment. That's true. As far as, like, a big chain goes, like, I think Gus's is a chain. Like, there's a decent amount of gusses. But it's not like a fucking Burger King chain. It's like a fucking mega corporation

Because so food So food is like So food's hard Like it's not hard to make But it's like it takes time to make I fucking love Southern It does it does take time to make Like I make macaroni and cheese

And macaroni is this fucking bomb But it takes a while to cook that shit I make like I make like Southern fried Because my grandfather He's also Caribbean But he's from the south So we have like a bunch of southern foods Like I make collagreen to smoke turkey

We make fucking like mac and cheese Yeah And like that shit takes a while Like it's not a fast cook No yeah That's the thing You can't you can't mass produced that shit. Well, you can, but it's not going to be good.

Yeah. But look, they have like, there's, you go to Arizona and other states, they have Cracker Barrel and, um, we had a Cracker Barrel, uh, oh, upstate, right? Yeah, there's none in California. Really? It doesn't make any sense. That's not a while has, it's, yeah, they have, like, Grisitimely. Yeah, they have, it's great. They have, it's legit. It's, it's all there. And they have real, the crazy thing, I've never had real maple, maple syrup until I went there. It was like, real, not just like, you know, I'm a jubble. mimas they add like everything in it and then it becomes like really gloopy and shit

they have like real like oh yeah we extract this from fucking the trees and I was like what the fuck I didn't know that I didn't even know that that was weird maple syrup is insane it's not it's like runny it's yeah yeah but it's so good I like I like pretty much every syrup that I've had I think even like the fake ones

are pretty good I do like I do like real fucking maple syrup though it's like I was cracker all the place that we went to when we were all fucking hung over that we had We had, so right before everyone moved, because like around 2015, right? It was the 2016. Yeah, it was 2015. This is when everybody was deciding on where they're going to go and we're going to move away and separate.

So we had one last party at our friend Joe's house, one of our roommates. And that party got so unbelievably out of hand. And it wasn't like, oh my God, it was like a bunch of drunk girls. No, it was just like we would just started fucking around to the point that it got crazy. And literally, one of our friends broke his finger. One of our friends broke his finger. It was like three people passed out. One guy pissed himself with he was passed out.

I was going to rob the guy that was pissed. I was trying to give him to the people that like, I was like, yo, we should just take his shit, you know, like let him know he shouldn't be doing that. He shouldn't be getting drunk like that. Freaking, it was, it was like ridiculous. Like, did you hurt yourself? You didn't hurt yourself. No, I didn't, you just blitzed out of my mind.

I didn't hurt myself. I never hurt myself. Lucky. Yeah. I'm very aware. Yo, we were all, it was really bad. And afterwards, I had to work at like 9 a.m. Oh, great.

So we all woke up and we were all like in a living room just in agony. And one of us brought up Cracker Barrow. I was like, yes, go to Cracker Barrow. So I went to work very late, like hours late after going to Cracker Barrow. We were all eating like breakfast. We were all so groaning and angry. Ever just like. It was like a big, the biggest table that you can imagine.

I think it was like maybe like 12, 15 people. And Cracker Barrel just like sitting silently over their food slowly, slowly eating. looking miserable groaning it was really bad and Joe had a fucking cast because he twisted his ankle he had a cane he had a cane and then fucking

Marco had the cast because he broke his finger broke his finger it was dude good times man it's insane to be young and fucking to be young man it was so fun it was fun it was a good it was a good final party before everybody left

that's pretty nice but fucking I got a I got a I got a I got a cracker barrel again yeah we got a Next time we go back home, we shall meet up there. That'd be a good idea. There you go.

It's weird that there's one in upstate New York, but there's none here. Yeah, there's none here. It's just none here. And there's no Waffle House either, which is really upset. Yeah, there's Rosco's. There's no Waffle House is actually. Waffle House. I can't believe how good the waffles are at Waffle House.

It doesn't make sense for like a piece of, like a shithole like that. It's disgusting. It's notoriously a shithole and there's like pages and channels and accounts or whatever dedicated to Wobah House fights. Dude, man. That's how I went to Atlanta. and I literally saw a Waffle House fight. It was these two gigantic black men.

Like, they're gigantic in comparison to me. And they were just throwing the heaviest blows. People were still eating. People were still eating while these two fucking ebony fucking warriors were fighting right behind them. I couldn't believe it. That's pretty much every time I got food in the Bronx. Yeah. Is that what happened?

My aunt would take me, my aunt Sylvia would take me to this fucking like, oh, let's go get Burger King. You like the nuggets? It's like, yeah, yeah. And then I'd go there and then every time without fail there would be something fucking wrong. I remember this one time. You know how like sometimes you can get a fry and it's got like a black spot on it from the burns? Yeah.

There's this one guy who walked up to the counter. It was like, my fries are fucking dirty. And like the counter's like, no, that's the, it was a burn. This is like normal. And he launched over the fucking counter and started wailing on the cashier. The cashier. God, I definitely didn't even do anything. And it was like fucking 2 p.m.

Like he was not drunk. Dude, it's insane, bro. Like, I literally, literally, in growing up in the city, growing up in New York City school system just lets you know that humans are unstable, that like you cities are not good for our brains. You shouldn't be on top of each other like that. Yeah.

Because there's so, people are so uptight. Like, it's so pent up. And all it takes is, person to fuck with them for them to explode literally all it takes also is one person just listen to them talk and it'll just calm down it's so fucking hilarious like like there'd be times where people be so angry in the city and i'm like oh my bad man you're right and need to start talking to me and then like they're just they're just spilling all the terrible shit that's happened to them that's going on and then they're just like finally you i really appreciate you

had taken a moment to just speak to me it's like yo no worries man you have a blessed day and then they just you probably prevented them from fucking going home getting the blicky and there's lighting up somebody It's insane. Dude, that's, yeah. It's really true. People need to talk to. 100% man.

Now that I live in South Central, it's the amount of people that talk to me, even though I have headphones on, it pisses me off. But you can tell, just like you're saying. Yeah, they need it. They need to vent. They need a vent. They need a vent, man. I'm like, fuck, dude.

It's scary. The world's scary, bro. It's fucking crazy. Humans really just need some time to talk to each other. Or else we're going to fucking lose it. I never really experienced that in the city. I only experienced that in the Bronx Only ever in the Bronx

That I see fucking crazy Unnecessary shit Dude you want to get And that's why I fucking can't stand in Brooklyn I haven't been to Brooklyn enough bro Brooklyn I haven't been to Brooklyn I have no reason to go to Brooklyn Brooklyn is different now because it's all gentrified

It's all gentrified It's weird because I remember when I was growing up Brooklyn was like that borough you'd stay away from But like when I went back like When I went back when I came to the city For my friend's wedding like over like I think a year or two ago I went to Brooklyn

And we were in five fucking Ben Stey. And Betz Stey, at like at like, at like, 9 p.m. when I was growing up, people were like,

all right, we got to get inside and starting to get a little, a little shaky. But people were outside. There were white guys outside talking loud on their phone. They were like,

fucking girls walking back and forth. There were like bars, like fucking hipster bars. And I was like, um, excuse me? Where the fuck in my? Is,

is this beacon? And it's, it's so fucking weird. It's great though. That means people can live there safely now. Yeah. It's funny talking about that. I've heard that multiple time for people

that grew up in L. They've all said the same thing. L.A. L.A., what I thought L.A. was and what L.A. is now was completed from what I thought it was. There's a, I mean, South Central mostly is pretty much the fucking same. But there's the borders, like the borders like on Englewood and Inglewood itself. It's crazy. Where I was born and where I saw like the house that we, the first apartment we had, my mom, my dad.

I passed by it all the time on Century. And it's fucking, it's so nice over there. It's crazy. It's crazy. The streets are paved beautifully. And then because it's right down the street from, it's just like a couple miles away from the forum. And then they're building that new stadium right there. So they got to make it look fucking nice.

They can't make it. It can't be like the way it was before, man. It's wild to see that shit change, though. It's crazy. It's good and it's good and bad at the same time, you know? It's ultimately it's good. You know what I mean? It's good, but it's bad.

It's good and bad. Things are always shifting. Like, I remember Yonkers, like, where I lived first. used to be actually pretty good It's not It's not it's not Youngers got worse Yeah that the area that I was from

In Yonkers definitely got worse Are you near Yonkers To the point where it's near Mount Vernon Or are you more close to the street up the Bronx I'm like close to the Bronx Does it have, do you have numbers on your streets That's how close you are like No no no

Okay so you're you're not because I know Because I know parts of Yonkers Like 2203rd street in Yonkers Is just the Bronx also Yeah no You know you walk up an avenue You're literally in the Bronx Yeah yeah no

It wasn't that close You had to take a It was I think we were like maybe 10 minutes Okay Gotcha But like I mean it's it's like I went back there Kind of like a couple years ago Just like the park that I used to play at

It's like completely fucking Dessalid There's like broken beer bottles and fucking crazy shit And it's like oh fuck the Carvel that I used to go to It's like what has graffiti all over It's like holy shit Carvel that's a throwback That's a throwback

That's a fucking ice cream cake With ice cream cake that's a fucking whale And I'm like I didn't want that one I didn't want the whale The fucking whale I don't I didn't want that. I just wanted regular cheesecake. Why did you get me the whale?

Because everybody else likes to fucking whale. I'm just like, I don't want this. I totally fucking forgot about the whale. That shit made me so mad, dude. I didn't like chocolate ice cream for years. And my grandma, my grandma, my cousin, my sister, my fucking uncles, they all fucking love chocolate ice cream cake. And I'm like, I don't like this.

This is my birthday. Can I please not get this? My birthday. And they would just ignore me and laugh. That's fucked up, man. I know exactly what you mean. And I'm just like, why are you doing this? I'm going to get what I like.

And I'm like, it's not for you. Like this one day, this one day just let me have this. Yeah, I feel that. Then my grandma, get on the phone talking Spanish Shard cousins about how it's going to be chocolate ice cream cake and how she doesn't care that Kingston doesn't want it. And I'm like, I could understand somewhat what you're saying. That's fucked up. For your own party? Dude, all the time, man.

I hated it. Vanilla, por favor. Vanilla. I actually really like ice cream cake. I don't like chocolate ice cream cake. I'm not. Because chocolate ice cream doesn't taste like chocolate. That's your right. I would agree with that.

The little crunchy chips though in the middle of it. Exactly. Oh, that's fucking. That's just the tick. Dude, I honestly don't even give a shit about the rest of the cake. Like you could take the fucking ice cream. Fuck this. I just want the cookie crumble. That shit is fucking fire, man.

That shit. It just, man, a little bit of crunch. The little slight bit, it's just pretty much broken up tops of Oreos. Yeah. I have a picture that I adore. It was my seventh birthday. and um god it looked like a fucking cancer patient it was weird i was so much lighter and i just it was weird it was a little kid like that i just look you know shaved heads stuff well i was shaved her heads

of course and um so i'm wearing my spider man shirt uh and i'm just looking so impressed by this cake that was customized um i never forget this cake uh it was a lion king cake but it had three layers and it had like a shitload of chocolate and the chocolate crunchy things all place throughout it and it was I couldn't believe it was impressive then to me as a kid obviously so it was like the craziest thing in the world looking back on it still I was like I've never had a cake

that good yeah I was like what the fuck it's it's it can be pretty good honestly even like it's a great every like every birth like even if you get older like an impressive birthday cake like I don't care about my birthday at all like I've never given a fuck like Chris knows it times it's like that's my birthday whatever and I's go in my room like have a or sleep or some shit yeah I don't care about celebrating my birthday but like if someone got me a really

beautiful cake. It's like, it can be any flavor. This is a beautiful cake. I'm like, thank you so much because that's just kind. Yeah. This is a kind thing you did for me. So like I really like it's, it's weird. It's just art that I'm going to eat. But like, it's this art that someone created for me to see this part at least. I, which takes time. I fuck with it heavy. Do I totally agree with you. I agree with you with a birthday thing too, man. Because it's, uh, uh, it was, I always kind of avoid my birthday. Like I avoid, I don't want to do anything. And then, uh, so my birthday is on the eighth next month. Oh, March 8th?

Yeah. That's crazy. That's where that's on a women's day or international women's day. I was like, oh, fuck. Darnie. And I also think... At least we're out of black history market. Dang, one.

It's always fucking something, man. I read that comment. I read that call. I saw that tweet this morning. I don't remember who the fucking was from. Rich white man. God damn it. It's always something, man.

We just finished with the damn, the damn cuffs. The other month. Now we got this. Now we got it. Damn it. I'm sure that was. They're always complaining about something. I'm sure that was a real tweet.

Dude, I fucking. Oh man. Okay. Okay. One, one. What? One. I posted something on Twitter yesterday and it was an Asian kid and another guy arguing.

And one guy said, shut up Corona Chan. And I was like, God be praised. That is fucked up. I was this like, yo. That was saved up. Undefeated. undefeated That kid, after he said that, that kid stood up.

Somebody gave him a tiny, raised it above his head. Because that was the most mean thing I have ever heard. Because that's like... Unnecessary. That's a thought. That's not only like racial. It's also just completely fucking, just complete disrespect. That's mean.

Like complete. Oh, yeah. Yo, I was taken back, bro. I was like, yo, people who are fucking. cold bloody. I can't believe that that was made up on the spot. That's pretty good.

That's pretty good to make up on the spot. As far as the cleverness goes, it's not bad. It's really good. You definitely shouldn't call people that. Yeah, don't. That's definitely fucked up. That's definitely not,

that's a really not nice thing to say to somebody, especially if you just having a simple disagreement, and especially if you didn't come up with it. Oh, yeah. To me, it's like that makes the difference also. Yeah. It's like, I can handle being called like the most horrible thing in the world.

As long as you've made it up. If you're stealing it from a... You're just a dick. Yeah, that's not even... You know what's crazy? I've had so many insults. I mean, if you have so many freestyle insults in his house that are just gems that we just forget.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I've said, I've said so many things that I've been like, I've kind of had to rene myself back. I'm like, whoa. Whoa, that was a good one, Kingston, but that one's going in the locker. Because you can't use that one again.

Okay, before this goes out of hand. We just have a handful more These are probably quick ones Somebody wrote in Android 927 Wrote in about the last time He's upset Oh

I like this I like this I'm upset that you guys Started talking about Spider-Man the animated series Last week And never saw my question Relating to it The question was whether or not

Any of you have seen The spectacular Spider-Man animated series And how you think it compares To the 1994 animated series I love spectacular Spider-Man I haven't seen it I didn't see it Is that Drake Bell?

Is that Drake Bell in it? Yeah it takes a lot of reference from the Ultimate Universe which I think is the best literature version of Spider-Man. Like, I love main Marvel 616 Spider-Man, but Ultimate Universe is just the, I think he's just written better, honestly. Nerd.

People are going to hate me. People are going to get mad at me for saying that because, you know, I'm a huge, I'm like one of the, I'm probably the biggest Spider-Man fan I know. And, like, I really like Ultimate Spider-Man a lot. That's spectacular. Ultimate.

Ultimate, the universe, and it's spectacular. The show is a show about it, and it's super dope. I'm sorry. All my Old School Spider-Man. Men fans don't unfollow me on Twitter. Y'all are really cool. All right. Sorry.

Yeah, so sorry I missed your question. I just literally didn't see it. I have to siphon through a lot of questions and, you know. Yeah, I also didn't see it either so I can't even answer it. Damn. James Passmore, Roden, am I crazy for still liking Bethesda? No. No.

Not at all. Absolutely. Skyrim is a game that will never be forgotten, man. Yeah, I think, I don't know. I don't think you're crazy for liking anything unless it's like, you know, genuinely insane. Yeah. Like if you're like, oh, hey, is, am I crazy for liking, you know, shoving my penis up dead rats?

It's like, oh, yeah, probably. Yeah. That might be a safe step. That's just not good for you. But if you just like a game, I don't know, man. Like, Bethes is objectively, like, fucked up a lot. And, and I think I definitely respect them less. But I still, I don't know.

I like Skyrim still. I don't trust them as much, but I still feel like they can. Yeah. I don't, I still feel like, like, they just need to take a step back and just like, go from the ground up again. They haven't been going from like the floor level up. They've been like,

let's just add on to this kind of mechanic from another game. They need to like revamp their games. Yeah. Like change the engine and rebuild something new because the next elder scrolls, if it's not amazing,

then they're doomed. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, they can't. Because there's so many other studios that just outclass them. Yeah. At this point.

So Shane. What about you, Derek? How are you feeling about them? I'm still, I still feel, I still feel pretty much the same. It's,

it's, It's worse. There's the disappointments there, but they still have opportunities to make great stuff. Yeah. I think that's the most important thing. It's unlike, say something like BioWare, where I am actually really sadded. Just kind of like... I was actually about to bring that up, whereas, like, I almost feel weird saying it.

But I actually feel like I... I don't trust Bethesda that much anymore, especially all the shit that they've done with Fallat 76 and all the fucking... The cluster fuck that that was. Yeah. But I feel like I still trust them to make a... a more engaging video game than I trust BioWare to make, and that's really sad.

That's, like, super depressing. Because I definitely have always preferred bioware as, like, a developer, but, like... That's insane. That's wild. The tides have shifted, man. It's fucking... That is not something that I would have ever said. You'd think, right?

Like, pre-Andromeda, like, I would have never said that. Yeah. It's, it's baffling. It really is. And it makes me so sad because that, especially a lot of people that I've bonded with we're like huge fans.

Yeah. And it's somebody that, someone that I, you know, I'm fucking, Mass Effect always been like my favorite shit ever. And I can't believe, I still can't believe, like how do you fuck up that badly?

I mean, I've seen it. I've seen the timeline and I've seen behind the scenes of what happened. But. You just can't believe it got that bad, I guess. Yeah, when that's your bread and butter, when that's like your, that's your flagship. And then it's that much of a disaster.

to the point where they're like, oh, we're not even going to update anything. We're fucked up that bad. We're just not even going to fucking, we're done. And I was like, ha, what? I hate to see it, man. It's really depressing. I don't want to talk about that anymore. And the last question we got from Donald Trump.

Was it on Donnie? Yes. He says, when are we getting snark tank merch? I need me some merch. It's not a bad idea. I honestly, for some reason, just didn't think about this at all. Yeah, that could happen easily. Yeah.

So here's what I usually do for my own merch stores. I ask artists out there who are in the wild, who listen to the show or watch the show, for maybe if you wanted to submit some art that you think would be cool for a t-shirt, just hit up the email. Hit up my email, I think it's Raygun Business at gmail.com, and just send me some stuff, and then we'll work something out. I'll typically just pay for the art And then we can sell that money

Because none of us are, we don't draw You know? Not even slightly. So But we also want to make sure that everybody who's like Submitting work and like Who's where especially the people whose work gets used Is sufficiently compensated

Absolutely. Compensated. Because I do, I really do think that there's a lot of A lot of artists are really fucking taking advantage of On Twitter and on YouTube in general And it's really frustrating to me like Because I remember like when I first paid One of the first shirts

I ever got done and I paid for it. I was like I sent that I sent like something on PayPal. I was like oh here you go. Thanks for the thanks for the design. I was like whoa and he was like what do you mean? It's like I usually get paid like 50 bucks and I'm like what the fuck? That's ridiculous. $50 for like the shirt is going to make somebody thousands of dollars.

Yeah it's just wild. It's just wild. It is wild. In general you take advantage of period throughout the whole entire art field. Yeah. It's insane like it's it's absurd. And a lot of a lot of people, oh it's because they're so humble and they don't like to they're like oh I don't want to like seem like an asshole like oh i think i'm worth this much i'm like yeah totally i was like put

it out there and then look it if someone thinks it's absurd that you guys can negotiate or something talk about it and it's crazy but i understand like say especially when people that are fans of yours when they're submitting stuff a lot of times they either don't want to accept money or they will ask for the lowest denominator or whatever and that's been frustrating or i just found something out recently because there's this one dude uh name ash that is made made a lot of stuff for me. And I keep telling them, like, dude, give me your PayPal account, give me your email because I can't keep accepting free stuff because he made like three pieces for me and I'm like, like, I want to compensate. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

And then I was like, dude, I'm not going to leave you alone until you give me your, your, your, your email. He gave me an email. It turns out he gave me an email for one of his other favorite creators to support them. He didn't even take it. the money that's a good you're a good dude man you're good dude but stop it i was like dude when when he found when i found out i was so mad i was like dude why would you take my money i felt like fry like shut up and take my money dude he was great great fucking dude and other people like that too like hey can i can i can i can i get you something yeah and i've gotten this um dude you've given me so much free content it's the least i can do and i was like holy shit i'm like that's

crazy like it's still your time i don't know man i'm like your time is it's where you guys look people artists period ever like you guys you guys do you guys don't get paid enough and no matter what field you go in whether it be acting whether it be fucking singing dance or any kind of what's called like designs like that animation especially animation is the worst animating is animating and voice acting dude some ways well that's true yeah you're right voice like voice acting is weird because it's more of like a homogenous thing where it's like the same people are in everything yes yes so like most people just don't even get a shot like oh hey look another Nolan North project.

I like Nolan North, but like I mean, for a period of time, Mercer was in everything. Mercer, Ben Bailey were in everything. Laura Bailey, yeah. You just couldn't find people anything that weren't those two. You know? Yeah. And like even the people that get in, they paid shit. So like you guys understand

your worth, you know. I totally get it. Like I remember like when I was editing, like I didn't know what the fuck to charge people because I was like this is just. That's good. Yeah. Like how do I how do you price your time? It's your time. Yeah, but like, I don't know. It's weird because like everything almost everything sounds too high because you would be doing it regardless. That's kind of the thing that people have a tough time. It's a hobby of yours. I don't even think it. Yeah. I don't think it's even generally that they don't think they're worth it. I think it's more like they have no idea what to value time as and even even just how to structure it. It's like it sounds outlandish. That's true. But like also it's just you got to get references. You got to figure out like hey, you know this person that does. art does it like about for this much you got to talk to people yeah you got you got to figure out

what you know what what you're worth it's again you just don't understand exactly what you're worth you're like oh i'm gonna sit here because i'm one of our good friends one of the best natural artists ever seen in my life like uncanny it's horrifying seeing him draw but oh yeah he he told me stories about how people he knew where artists were just do their work and then people just wouldn't pay him like oh i don't like it and that person spent hours creating this entire fucking storyboard for them and it is don't want it and it's like what the fuck it is that's real that's like you still did the way even though you might not like it you it looks paying me something because i just took hours out of my idea to create that for oh yeah yeah it's it's it's it's it's wild to me man

it's crazy yeah i'm glad i don't have that talent i've definitely like yeah i don't know i just think it's i think it's just the right thing anyway right is right so that's that's typically how i i just organized merch so if you're an artist out there and you're you think you have an idea uh just send some rough sketches over to the email and I'd be totally down to I didn't even think about merch so it's probably a good idea that's a postability postability that's a that's a that I actually that is not that is brought up that is a really good idea because you're right I did the only thing I was thinking I can't wait until we get video that's all I was thinking yeah same even think about oh yeah the people sell merch yeah I was so I was so focused on the video

aspect and like getting everything set for that but like yeah I just told yeah that'd be insane seeing somebody wearing a snark tank merch and I'll be like Like, what? That would be cool. That jarred. Seeing people with my fucking head on their fucking shirts already. I love that so much. It's terrifying.

I love that so much, man. It's terrifying. You'll get over it. It'll be fine. I'm not going to get over it. My head is open. My head is a gape. That's, uh, we're at about two hours now, so I think we're... Sick.

I think we're good. Thanks for stopping by, everybody. If you want to help support whatever the hell this was that you just listened to, you just go over to Patreon.com slash a snark tank. You can get early access for as little as a dollar a month. Early access to every single episode every week. $5 to answer questions and $10 for producer tour that gets your name written read out at the end of the show,

which I will now do. Three, two, one? One? Double O Dolphin, a deplorable, Ethereum, afterlife Jeffrey Epstein. Nice. Alex Jones. All hands on dick. All hands on dick. Aloof.

All hands on dick. A.K.A. Ransom. Rantiam. The one-man party. Badly brave. Bealsabobiles above. The Gimp. What's up, Beals? By the way, that song that I was thinking of last time was Beals by, I forgot the guy's name again.

What was the point even saying that? The bub? I thought I remember it. Stephen Lynch. Gotcha. Balana, black nipple gang. Nice. I like it.

You ever seen a white person with black nipples? What? No, that's not a thing. That's wild, right? What are you talking about? Does asking questions? I don't know. I didn't see it.

I was asked a question. Oh my God. BLT, the Ace Hoonter. Whoot? Brendan Peavy, BLT, I wrote BLTVEA soon as twice. Where's that boring guy? Like Dave Davis or whatever? Leave alone, man.

He tweeted at me. He's a nice dude. Leave alone. Bug butter. Carl Weezer's juicy cum dumpster ass. Oh my God. Carlton Banks. Ooh.

Finally. Finally. Yeah. Where are you been? Get your fucking buddy will over here. Damn it. Right? Oh, ha.

That's hot. That's hot. Carson Jones. Uh, catnips, Chad, Christopher, what is, that is you? Christopher Midling. I thought it was for a second. I thought it was just me. Corey McNulty, David Davis.

There he is. What's up, Dave? De Cato, Donald Trump, Dylan Broadbent, Eric Pfeiffer, Fjord Noir. Fjord. I love the way that sounds. Foo-Hai or Fou-Hae, something like that. Galactic Thunderfuck. I know I've said that before.

I just don't know what fucking video's from. Ginny Higard, Glendon Cole, Simper, Simper. Simp's. Fucking Simper. Simper's a simpleton, right? More or less. He Larvie Boswald. That's a fucking weird name.

That's fucking good. I love the shit like that. That's pretty good. Jacob Arnston, Jantium, Jose Horach, Joshua Millard, Carson Roth, King of Hapazard. Nice. Nice one. Give it to me.

Let me see you. Nice one. You fucking asshole. Go for it, man. You say it. Give it to me. I want to hear it because I can't see the screen. Nica.

You thought you could trap me. Nicker. Thanks, my knicker. Leon and Susan five ever. I hate that. Lukeabella, Luke Jerkovic, Melfis 1, Mia Khalifa. What is the real?

Mia Khalifa? Of course not. Can you imagine? I'd be like, what the fuck? I love the snark too. If Mia Khalifa is listening, hold on a second, hold on a minute. If mea Khalifa is in fact listening, by all means, I would love to have you on the show. Yeah, that'd be, that'd be, that'd be fucking interesting. That'd be jarring. That'd be really fun. That'd be exacerbating. Can we all come on your tities? I'm not, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. Honey, if you're listening, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I'm not a part of that. That's not me. I didn't want to do that. Derek made that up. Mike Gates, Mr. H.R. Robowski. I can't pronounce that. Nicola Temple, Papa John. Oh,

polio pussy got me disabled. What happened? Got me not walking, right? Is that I have an FDR or whatever? That's pretty. He got polio pussy. And he got polio too. The end of this show, the end of this show is literally just a contest to see which names can make us fucking... That's kind of what's happening. Polio Pussy. Rod holder. Nice.

Rushanish. Rusticity, Ryan. Shodenfroidian slip, Sherlock 93. Shitsu posting. Sideshow Bob's body double. Sagi Ardvark. I remember that. Sunny Chance, Sweeney's magic weenie.

It is magical. Sweeney Tom, the ethnic barber. Beat Street. Okay. It's such a good one. I love that one. Eat Street. I had so many

Sweeney names. There are. I love it. They're building. Dude. You're building a legion. Dude, it's insane. It's, dude.

You just got a bunch of acolytes. Okay, guys, this is a real shit time. I really appreciate all the love I get from everybody. Like, it's wild. I gotta get it from somewhere because he's not getting in here. I don't do shit. And people just fucking adore me.

Thank you. I appreciate. Tharja, IBW, the cosmic hippie, the dreamer, shadow the progerian hunter oh the virginity thief

the invisible the invisible skeptic the specter angel uh... Toby shootman triple question mark umberman white Tom Sweeney and Yaslyn Clemens just a normal ass name a person's name thank you Yasmin for showing up

thank you thank you all for your support the list continues to grow and continues to get more outrageous. I don't even know if we're going to be able to fit the end of this fucking show in eventually, but... Oh, I know, right? It's a good part of the show. It's fun. It's fun. I like it.

I like it. It's a fun little tradition here. But thanks a lot for your support, everybody. You all mean a lot. We'll see you guys next week. Same time. All right. Shout out to Virginia thief.

You're my idol. That polio pussy got me disabled. I can't walk right.