The Snark Tank - #121: CHADZILLA

Episode Date: August 15, 2022

1998 GODZILLA x GIGACHAD  https://www.patreon.com/TheSnarkTank Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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Can we become robots? Affirmative. Can we go crab battling? That isn't a thing. How about swimming? Dad, can we take an app? You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal. Deal.

While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials. Book your free click and collect slot at tesco.e or in app. Tesco, every little helps. Terms and conditions apply. My Apple Watch is not working anymore. That's fucking weird. my Apple Watch has been dead for months I just I wear it for fucking style

What is the What is the benefit of having an Apple Watch Is this a pretty much an extension of your phone It is I will say it's it is useful But The battery life on it is is garbage Really? Like two would

Yeah I I Because I My Apple Watch runs out in like No more than no It never lasts more than two days Before I have to charge it again And I'm just like what's the point of this fucking thing?

But it was a charge it like a phone. Yeah, but like, it's supposed to, it's a watch. Like, I feel like, that's two whole days of battery life. I just don't understand. But it's just sitting there not doing anything.

It's just sitting there like, it shows me the time when I look at it. Right. What is it? What, what, what has, when you got your Apple watch,

what like, did your quality of life like improve or a convenience? Did anything like improve by having it? It was just the idea of me and not exactly needing my phone every time I was going anything. Like I can call people from my watch. I can get messages from my watch. I can respond to my watch. I can interact with Facebook, Instagram,

Twitter, all of them with my watch. For me, for me, but I have my phone for that already. Right. So that's what I'm trying. It was just a bit of a more sell it to me. Sell me. Go go. Go go. Go. Go. Sell me. Hold on. Sell me. We, we are not sponsored by Apple, so I'm not selling anything. But I will, I will, I will say this.

Like it's not coming on. It's ever so, it's slightly convenient. Like specifically I got it because I liked the idea of it's waterproof, right? So I like the idea of being able to have like play music in my shower while charging my phone and being able to like kind of like adjust it from like from inside the shower and shit. Like that was nice. And just being able to like call and find my phone when I lost it. That was a big one. That's that's that's really. You're selling me. You're selling me. That's but that's but that's really it. Like getting texting on your watches. so insanely cumbersome and dumb that like I don't imagine that anybody actually does it for real. Like maybe they'll do like the Hey Siri, could you text my mom and tell her I'm dead? Maybe they do that stuff. But like they don't uh...

Wait, no, don't. The, I think I don't know, it's not something that I would recommend really to most people. Like, you don't need it. You don't need it. The Apple Watch represents the dragon of chaos. Damn, bro. That's a fire emblem shit.

and Pinocchio was getting fucked by Geppetto Gepegno Depegneau Gepeggephre Gepegophile Who's that guy that dude with the huge ass

Like he was like the villain That stole Pinocchio Oh my god He's got the circus I know what you mean Dude Go look at that guy is He's got the juice

He's caked up beyond Believe The villain in Pinocchio has a fat ass? The guy at the carnival that takes the little boys to turn him to the don'tkees. A ridiculous,

like put in, I don't know what his name is. Fat-ass Pinocchio nigger. Yeah, so. Fat-ass pinocchio nika. So we were talking a little bit before we started the show

about, uh, about shaving because like, uh, Sweenie and I, we both have to shave. Like, you might not be able to see it for me,

but I look fucking disgusting right now. Uh, and what was it that you said there? You said like, you're, it's, anytime you shave. it makes you look like you're trying to be 20 or something?

Yeah, basically it looks like you're trying to bang high school girls or something. Dang, dude. Obviously, I'm being a little hyperbolic, right? Extremely out of pocket. Out of fucking pocket, bro. So my theory is... So this is my theory, and I admitted to you guys

that this is coming from a person that can't grow. This chin strap, it doesn't grow past this. and then there's like no hair here. Some people even say that I have a reverse Hitler because there's like hair on the sides of my face and there's like no hair growing in the middle. So it's just like, it's like if me and Hitler kiss, we'd make like a complete mustache.

And I was like, that's fair. That's fair. But yeah, so I have like the, oh, I've always wanted a beard. I think I'd look better with the beard, especially when those AI apps came out with and then people were slapping beards on me and I'm like, fuck, that looks good. That looks really good.

And even one time my ex-girlfriend, And she saw all those things like, man, that does look really good. And I was like, thanks, bitch. Look, let me tell you. I really appreciate that. Look, look, I'm not going to, look, I've heard. And I know people who have had a hard time, apparently, by the way, this is like a very weird thing that has just happened lately.

I remember when I was a kid or when I was younger, this was entirely fictional medical technology, but apparently you can just grow hair now. Like, that's just a thing. Like, you just take a pill and you will grow hair. Like, I had a friend who couldn't grow a beard forever. and then he started taking like this thing and he has a full beard now. I don't understand what the fuck that is.

I thought it's been around for a long time. It's like supplements are good. No, no, but when I was a kid, I remember feeling like that wasn't real. You know what I mean? I remember feeling I know that hair transplants were real. And then you look like that fucking,

you looked like that fucking that photoshopped image of Brendan Fraser with the sad eyes and the, with that fucking piece. Yeah. Yeah. The pineapple hair. Yeah. And like, I remember those being a thing.

But apparently that's just like, you could, you could get a cream and a pill that will let you grow a full beard. Look, most stuff was like, kind of charlatan type stuff. Like, Rogaine was like really big for a while. And my thing was, okay, if Rogain works for your scob, why the fuck wouldn't it work for your face? You know, why isn't their beard gain, for example? Like, to me it was like, okay, this is like Charlottetan bullshit. It's like those dick pills. the the extends and insight no see what they do i pop four extends i take a half of my aggr and i'm good

to go for the weeks bro okay see yeah but they they make your rod like maximumly hard but they don't grow your penis like bro it grows with it it's it's so far extended it grows slightly and then it bursts it's true it's true it's true because the thing is it's like those pills make you harder than you ever have been. Therefore. And so it sticks, and so it grows further. It goes further beyond, you know? No.

I mean, technically, and you know, I do actually want to get sponsored by it. There's a company. I'm not going to say their name, but there's a company where it's chewable Viagra and Cialis. And I was like, dude, we got to give these to it. We got to give this our audience. I'm going to reach out to these guys. Can you imagine chewing?

Can you imagine chewing hard dick gum? Yeah, dude. That's crazy. I've been hearing it on some podcasts And I was like, you know what, dude? I hear you be talking about it I'm like, I don't believe this, bro. I mean, dude, I've never, I've been too scared.

I was too scared to try it. But I had a sample pack of Viagra. I was too scared because I don't have any problems. So I imagine that like if I took a pill, it's just going to be painful after a while. Like you're just going to be rocking. Especially Seattle, they say last for 36 hours. I'm like, why would anybody need that?

When you're trying to get a baby, when you're trying to make a child, that's when you need that. Like, when you're like, all right, this is what we're doing. We're making a kid. I mean, maybe so, right? You pop a Seattle and you're like, hey, bitch, I really hope you've been drinking water. Because I got to, I got to get this out of me somehow. You just have a hamster, hamster water, one of those hamster fucking walls that's above your bed. So you're just pumping and just.

See, I never, see, I never drink water. That's dangerous. That's why, that's why you're so, look, I see you that you're in the gym like three hours a day and shit. And you're just like, why am I not getting bigger? You're just, you're dude. You just need to drink water. You're deflated. Nope.

You just need to drink water. Literally. And then your muscles will, you'll get as big as muscle bob buff pants. Muscle bob buff pants. You need to drink water or else your brain doesn't work as good. No, no, no, no. Like literally. No, no, no, no, no.

No, no. You guys don't understand. you see, you guys just haven't figured it out yet. I've figured it out where if you engage in insane exercise and you don't drink water, you get really close to death. And then it's like a saying effect where it's like you get really close to like perishing and then you come back stronger. That's exactly.

That's how it works. Could it possibly be that you think you're stronger because you're hallucinating? Because I'm getting, because my brain is getting damaged. Yeah. You got to have a lot of water on me. buy it all times, though. All time. That's fine.

You see it right next to me, right next to me, it's a dildo. Now it's right next to me, it's a bottle of water. You see, always, always at least one. Also, my bedroom's so hot

that if I don't drink water, I'll die. So I have to drink water a lot or else I won't be here. See, for me, I got to be in the desert, bro. I have a bottle of water. I have a bottle of water.

I have a bottle of water on the couch, and then I have a teenage mutant Ninja Turtles too for the NES next to me. that's sick. These give me the strength that I need. Why do you have that? Why is that right there?

I don't know. I think on sacred symbols we were talking about because they're remastering it and I went to grab it to show it and I just never took it off my desk. But the fucking, I don't know, man. Oh yeah, the beard.

If you, if you, look, if you really, really want a beard, if you're in fifth grade, maybe don't do this. But generally, if you want a beard, there are ways to just do that for yourself, apparently. Apparently, now that's, like, not fiction. So if you're curious about what you would look like with a beard, like, go fucking try it out.

I don't know. I've always been curious about it, but it just takes too long for mine to grow in. Because mine grows in like a... One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I opened my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low,

listen. So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place. With so many options, why choose Arizona State University? For me, the only online option was ASU because of the quality. Their faculty was really involved with their students and care about your personal journey.

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It's not mutton chops exactly, but it's kind of like that. Where it comes in like that at first and then like over the... course of like four months it'll fill in but it's like I can't look like a fucking trucker like an emaciated trucker for that long it's just not worth it yeah I can't stand it my face sure my face share comes in really patchly and then like at like month four it looks nice and I'm like I can't give four months yeah but you have to look like an asshole for like three straight months they're like for fucking months dude yeah I don't know I just said grass is greener though You know, like I say,

I might save my head bald and grow my beard out. All I can do is just get a little shade. And guys, like, let me tell you how much genetics play into this. Because you see that there's people, like, say, for example, I, when I got, like, really sick last year or whatever, and then my fucking, my hormones, like my testosterone, like crashed like crazy. And I went to a clinic and I got on TRT to stabilize my levels. and stuff. Never figured out exactly what happened

particularly, but that's beside the point. But when you get on TRT or you boost up your testosterone levels, your hair should grow. It should grow. Just like say, I know somebody, it was actually, I got introduced through a shoe on head. One of her friends, this fucking New Yorker that is a trans man, fucking full beard. Yeah. I think his name's Derek too, actually. Derek? Yeah. Yeah. I think his name's, I was like, wait a bit.

He has the same name. And, yeah, like, I wouldn't have known. This was like a regular fucking, some fucking guy from New York that, you know, likes to hit women and fucking go to baseball games or something. Let's go. So I'm like, I wouldn't have known it. Nice fucking beard and shit. And I'm just like, all right.

So I've been done this TRT shit for a minute. And I'm like, where's my beard, bro? Where's my beard? I don't, I just think that I'm curse. I'm just cursed. I'm just cursed with my genetics are just too. Well, it's. Or I have to take it a redshirt.

Ridiculous level. I feel like, because I'm not taking those type of levels. Otherwise, you would see me like shirtless all the time. I would just be like, oh, it's hot. It's like in the winter. And I'm like, it's so hot. And I'd just be fucking just jacked. I'm like,

testosterone too fucking. Like, what's the worst got to happen to me? I just, I get, I look like a wall, look more like a wall than I do. Like,

what's the worst thing happen? I mean, if you just take within the limits of a normal range, which is the white spectrum. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, wait, what do you want?

Like, like, Like, so you can the total, the total levels, like, the highest you should ever go is like, say, around 1,100, 1,200. At least 3,000. At least, bro. At least. I want to. That's what all those, all those fucking people. That is, that is so insane. That was, that's like, that's, that, at that level, like, I feel your cum would overflow into your lungs and drown you.

Like, that is such an insane amount of testosterone. I'd be more cock than man, and it'd be hilarious. I mean hard rods hard rods for sure the cool thing is though it's also natural it's a natural anti what's the word I'm looking for

it kills your sperm it turns your sperm production off you still fucking like your your semen everything's fine but you just if you try to have a kid while you're on testosterone good luck so it's actually pretty awesome if you want to make sure you're not

trying to have a kid so let's see more energy more strength, more cardiovascular fucking capacity, um, uh, spermicide essentially. It's like, what, what is, why is this a bad thing? I don't know. It could be, you, it could be like, because I, I feel bad for the people who both can't grow beards and who look terrible without that. That's true.

Like that, that is a, like, if you have like a leafy chin, you know, like, or like one of those like the turkey turkey you know yeah no no not turkey tom i'm talking about like the the that fucking jiggly shit how do you get that i wonder because i'm so apparently i'm chunky and i don't have it which even crazy so i think so apparently and i did some research on this because i also for some reason was very curious about this but apparently it's like it's all to do with how you learn to breathe when you you're a baby because it's not actually all that genetic necessarily.

Like there is like there's genetic capacity there. Like if you have like, if your mom and dad have strong jaws, you have the capacity for a strong jaw. But if you breathe wrong as a baby and like leading into adulthood and like development, it'll be like it'll get fucked up. If you're a mouth breather, actually. If you're a mouth breather,

yeah. If you breathe through your mouth, I don't know how. I don't know how you like, how do you become a mouth breather? How do you become a mouth breather? By having to fuck Fusinuses.

I have a fuck. I have fucked sinuses, dude. Like, not that fucked if you can breathe your nose. I have fucked sinuses. To the point that I had when I was learning, like when I was exercising,

I had to learn how to properly breathe to run, which a lot of people don't, people don't know that's true at all, but I had to learn how to breathe correctly like, like, like in my nose and then like out and spurts through my mouth. And I was like, my type professor was like, you have pretty bad sinuses,

but you have good lungs. So you're able to deal with this. You're going to have trouble, obviously. You can deal with this. Hold your breath a lot when you're fucking goblin cock. I used to be able to breath for like three minutes, bro. Then my head would start burning. That shit's wild.

The head burn is crazy. You get headburn? When you hold your breath too long, your head starts to burn. Like in your head burns. See, I've never held my breath for that long. I did it for like, I did it one time for like two minutes and I started feeling because what happens is they teach you how like when you hold your breath a long time, They teach you that certain things are going to happen, and it's fine.

You can just breathe and you'll be able to get through it at a certain point. Because people can do like eight minutes and other shit like that. But when I did it for three minutes, my brain started burning. Oh, no. You're probably on the verge of passing out. Did you kill like a hundred? What happened to this guy? Oh, no.

So I. I'm sorry, I just got a Twitter notification. So there's this complete tangent. Complete tangent. But there's this game that's coming out in the next, I think in February for a PlayStation called For Spoken. Yeah, with a black girl. And it's got, I don't know.

Yeah, it's that magical black girl. She's light skin. I didn't even realize it was a black girl. But yeah, she's light skin. I didn't think about it really. But she, there, it's, it looks. cool, but there are trailers of the dialogue specifically that sound really, really cringe-inducing. It's like very, very, it's like what you would assume someone would joke about a Marvel movie

being. It's like, oh, he's right behind me, isn't it? It's like that kind of like writing in the trailer. And it's been this meme for the last day or two where it's just like people like, uh, because the lines are like, uh, so, okay, so let me get this straight. I'm not exactly where somewhere I would call Earth I'm seeing dragons and I'm talking to a fucking ghost or something like that it's like and I did like my own edit of

a God of War trailer like that it's like whoa I'm not exactly where I would call Athens and I'm talking to my son and fucking Cory Barlog the director of God of War just fucking retweeted it to everybody. That's funny which is confusing because

I mean, they're in the same family of studios and this is clearly making fun of that other game so it's like I mean, why not? A little weird? I mean, I guess it isn't good fun. Especially since he's not the director of Ragnarok right now,

he probably has more freedom to do whatever. He could say a little shit, yeah. I was not expecting. That means those devs are going to see it. I'm sorry. If you're developing first spoken, I'm sorry. It's just, it's cringy dialogue. It is.

I'm probably going to play your game I'm probably going to play your game with a Japanese dub if that's available or something just to get through it. What's so crazy is that there is... Oh my way. Like, one of my favorite games has such ridiculously cringy dialogue, but they somehow did it in a way that it's not the worst. But it's like, Devil May Cry.

Never Make Cry has ridiculous dialogue. It's so fucking... I just went through one through three. But it's good. It's... It's not good at all. Really? No, Double-Met Cry 3 particularly.

Three is good. I mean the dialogue. Double May Cry 3 is fun. The dialogue, it finally becomes like fun and less. The first two, especially the first- Oh, holy shit. It takes itself a little too serious. It's a little serious.

I forgot how, I forgot all bad. I forgot all bad just the dialogue was and everything. But I will say, the game just went off the rails in three, even though that's the funnest one. That's the one that I had like replay value, like a bunch of times on PS2. But that's when Dante every five seconds is screaming woo and Wahoo and shit. Like he's fucking Mario and Mario 64. He's having a fucking jamboree because to him killing these demons is late.

So what happened to him though? So like the one and two, right, are sequels and then three's a prequel. Yeah, I know. So what happened to Dante to where he's like he's not having fun anymore? His brother went to hell, bro. Remember that part? His brother fell in hell His brother fell into hell

And he was like Damn son Yeah that's a good point I got this big kid If we talk about how ugly We talk about ugly Sparta is Like he's fucking like

He's like That's an ugly man That's an ugly demon dude Why he's shit on Sparta like that bro? Like what did what did he I feel like he didn't Like who would What woman would see that

Demon thing and be like Yeah that is a hot man As a human He's not a good looking guy He's not a good human at all. There's just nothing about him that. Anyway, I'm getting, I'm totally off the room. I just started playing a bit because I want to, I never.

One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low. Listen. So we sat there. Listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full.

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The State Liner's are coming to Mucklechlechusk casino resort. Get your tickets now to see Aaron Lewis at mucklechlewis at mucklechusotcasino.com. I took my time and now I've never beaten four. I try to play it twice and then I'm like,

I'm working up to it so then I can play five. Five is the shit, bro. Five is so good. I've heard nothing but good things about five and I've just, it's just been sitting. I'm playing everything. I'm finally,

I'm finally backlog. I'm actually working on, um, I stopped playing Delmei cry and I started playing, uh, Ascred Valhalla. And, uh, I don't know what's up with the optimization with fucking, I think it might be even be Ubisoft connects thing. It's their own app right now. And that game has crashed like 15 times for me at least. Dude, I, Ubisoft is so bad with optimization. It's insane. I just, in my, go ahead. Go ahead.

Sorry. No, no, no, go ahead. It's just, it really is just, I don't, I can't think of a Ubisoft game that I have played on PC. that has been even remotely stable. You be soft. I have to. I'm being forced to upgrade. My PC's old.

My PC's like old and it's the optimization. Let's put it this way. My characters look pretty good. The world looks like PlayStation 1. That's how I have to optimize the game. There's no other option. There's no other option for me. And I'm like, okay, I can play, I don't know.

Like, I played Doom Eternal and it looked great. Yeah. And it's a fucking fat game. It's like 80 gigs or something. Played it fine. For some reason, my PC is screaming playing Valhalla and fucking the world. I'm telling you, if I show you a screenshot, it looks like PS1 fucking environment. Just so it can run smoothly enough.

And I'm like, okay, I'll rather have good looking armor and characters than the world looking nice because I have to trade off. Now, it is my fault. I need to upgrade my, my, my GPU is kind of shit. What's the GPU? It's, it's pretty old. I can't even remember the number right now, but it's just like, I have like basically three gigs to work with. Oh, Lord.

So I can't, my opt, it's old. Oh, boy, ancient. Now, the thing is, is that, is that, um, it's a, it's a, I forgot which number of GTX is that, is that, is that a 980? I can't, I, I have to pull it up right now. Because I had a 980 for a long time. It might be, it might be actually above that. It might be a 10 something.

It's been a long time since I looked at it because I don't even... I bought it so long ago. I don't even remember. That boy, a relic. I respect it. Whatever. It's one of the early tens of something. And so I'm pretty far behind.

And I basically, I'm being forced. I had such a bad experience playing this game that like, now here's the thing. I want to be fair to, I want to be fair to fucking ask Creed where the options that they have in the game to where you can play the game. Because a lot of people complain about, like, say, there's just two much this, there's too much that. Like, if you put it on like exploration mode and put it on very hard difficulties and stuff where the AI's not completely stupid, it's actually really fun. I was actually having fun with it. Like, if you put the difficulty, because you can,

you can not only toggle the damage difficulty, but also the stealth difficulty, which I thought was a pretty cool distinction. Because usually the stealth are just completely just, you know, the people are on the spectrum. They're just, they're not, they're not paying attention to nothing. You literally walk in front. Yeah. It's not a... It's not a... It's not a great... It's not really a true stealth game.

What? In the... You know... I will say, like, I said, just to the credit. No, I could go on... This game's fucking... I've been playing this game. Obviously, I've been playing the game for 36 hours, and I have one set of armor. This is all fucking shit the game is.

Like, the fact that, like, you can't just get armor. raiding and pillaging shit and you can't pick up people's stuff. And it's just it completely optimized to make you want to buy stuff from the store. And so that's why Ubisoft can suck my dick. You know what's wild? That is my review. You know, it's wild too. It's like, it's, I didn't even think about this until recently, but the fact that I am so

cynical about video games now really makes me sad because I actually like most of the things that I used to play. you know what I mean like most of the time like if I'm playing a game I like something about it like even if it's not like I remember playing Assassin's Creed

for like a while and I remember playing Black Fag and I was like oh you know I this pirate stuff isn't necessarily for me but like this is a decent game I'm not gonna finish it but like it's not bad

but like what people describe as like recent Assassin's Creed games it seems like really rough and I don't know like I want it part of me is like I should go back. Part of me is like, oh, I should try Far Cry 6, you know? And like all these things.

Because I feel like I would like it. But I just, I don't know. They're so bloated. There's an interesting thing that happened to me where Black Flag was always my favorite Assassin's Creed. And I went back and played it after playing Odyssey. And the thing that I had to admit to myself, like, I had more fun playing Odyssey than Black Flagg.

And I was like, that's fucking crazy. Because everything that I liked about Black, the, only thing was the Navy combat is different. The Navy combat is shit in fucking Odyssey because it's just spears instead of having cannons and mortars and shit. So, and you, you know what I'm saying? So it's totally different. But everything else was, the only thing I don't like about Black Flag is that you have to be really careful when you say that name really quick. But, but generally speaking, it's a decent game from what I can remember. It's still fun. I still, I still, I played it like a couple years ago.

I don't know how you can play. I don't know I can do it. Every Assassin's pre game for me feels like I'm doing nothing. It was like a series of me doing nothing. You didn't like, you didn't like Assassin's Creed too? That was a good story. I played Assassin's Creed one when it came out

and I was like, oh, this is kind of ass. You know what I played instead of that for hours? Really? You know what I played that instead of hours? I mean, it is as but like. I played Halo 3. I was like, oh, well, come, I understand. There's a completely different.

There's, there's completely different. I was playing. And at that time I was playing, I was playing dead. space. I was playing Halo 3. I was playing fucking Dragon Age Origin, because Origins was around that time, and it was the most lit thing ever. I was playing fucking gears

around that time as I was playing gears. It was that Assassin's Creed was fun, but there's nothing about it made me want to stay playing the game. I remember being impressed by Assassin's Creed one, not necessarily because it was fun to play, but because it looked really impressive. Like, the fact that

like if there was something unique about it that I didn't see in most other videos. I felt the, I felt the same way. It was the first open, open world game I really experienced like that. And I admit that. That was the first time in the game, I felt like, oh, I can go anywhere that I can see for the most part, you know?

And I did that. Because it was before, I mean, there were like loading screens. And obviously, this is like a 360 game. But because it was before Grand The Photo, four. Like, it was a full year. Because I remember Assassin's Cube was 2007. And that's what was so big. I was like, wow, this is kind of.

been saying that this is possible. And then Gradsdivore came out and it was like, okay, well, I guess this is just kind of... Yeah. But the story, I thought the story in two is... I like Etsio as a character. I thought it was cool. I thought he was cool and the story came back in, right?

And I was like, he was back in on Assassin's Creed, like Brotherhood or some shit. I was like, oh, Etsy. I didn't play... I didn't play Revelations because I was like, okay. He's just too old. You're like, I get it. No, I think, I think, because I, I played Assassin's Creed 2 and I was like, this is great.

Like, I actually, I think Assassin's Creed 2 is genuinely a really, like, from a story perspective, that is a really good video game. I don't, I don't, I think it's fun. I think it's fun and it's cool. I would never say very good. I would say like, oh. That's a very good video game. I would not, Chris, I don't. I wouldn't say it's like, I wouldn't say it's like a top 50.

But like, it's a good. It's, you don't like a SSISD too at all. It's solid. It's solid. It's solid. The fucking acting in, uh, and devil may cry is stupid. but it's great. No, no, no, no, no.

Devin May Cry is stupid and it should be cringe but doesn't come off as cringe because of how much fun that game is, you know? Like, everyone is aware that they're a joke. Like, Virgil is in on the fact that he's like a hard-ass bitch. And then Dante knows that he's a fucking loser. Like, Donny does something cool and then he gets hit by a car afterwards. And it's like, fuck, dude. I feel like Virgil is every, like, anime meme that you see when that guy is holding the sword. He literally is.

But those people think he's, they think they're cool. I think I think Virgil's sick as fuck. I think Virgil is cool. That explains why you don't like Assassin's Creed too. No, no, no, no, no. I think Virgil is cool. But Virgil is cool because of how sick is fighting it. Not because of him.

He's like I need more power. He's so, he fights like he literally fights like he should be wearing a fedora. You're lying. That's crazy. He fights like he thinks he's a gentleman samurai. That's how he fights. And it's so cringy. Like he should be wearing a fedor and have a neck beard.

Like he only has a beard right here. Look, look, I know we're all going to go around the table. Just disagree with what each other thinks is a good game. Unless we're talking about Mass Effect, we're just not going to all agree. That's just where we exist. That's beautiful, though. I like that. I like that. I like that, though.

Because it'll be boring if we're all just like everything is good. I like Halo 4 a lot. I like Halo 5. Yes, very good. What about you, Christopher? In fact, I do love Halo 5. What Assassin's Creed 2 be good to you if Etsio was voiced by Keith David? Oh, well, that's not fair. I'm an Italian. I'm an Italian. I'm an Italian. I'm an Italian. It's the most clearly black man in the world. Leonardo. I need your help. I need your help. I need your help.

There's very many things. You make me. a new hidden blade. I won't. I'll fully I'll fully admit that I'll fully admit that it's been a very, very, very, very, very long time since I've played Assassin's Free 2. Right.

It's very possible that it's aged poorly. You should play it again. It's always worth playing those games again. I've been thinking about it. Just because, especially now, because I feel like they don't really make that game anymore. You know what I mean? Like at the time, at that time around Revelations,

that game, was fucking everywhere. That like open world kind of grant the auto clone like there were a ton of them. Like there were a lot of them. Now it feels a little bit more novelty and I just,

I remember that story being like very, very compelling and I remember liking Etsyo a lot. I remember liking Brotherhood a lot and thinking that multiplayer was actually really unique and interesting. And Brotherhood was short too. That's what I liked about Brotherhood. It wasn't a long game.

I remember being short. Brotherhood was like really digestible. Was Brotherhood with Unity? Did those two come out the same time? No, you came on 2015. You could buy it with the Xbox One, actually. You're thinking of... Yeah, you're thinking of, I think, liberation.

And bloodline? And something else. Because liberation was the one with the girl assassin. And that was on... One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much,

just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I opened my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.

Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome.

I think I saw Billboard of years recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows.

So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open.

Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. PSVita, I think.

Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right. No, wait, wait, wait. This happened twice. There was one that came out of two of them. It was, it was rogue and syndicate. Right.

Because Rogue was on 360 and PS3 and Syndicate, I think, was on... I'm sure somebody in the comments will, like, clear this up. But, like... Rogue was the last one, I think, that was on the old console. The last gen consoles, yeah. Yeah. It's something like that. I heard that one was really good, but I played, like, 10 minutes of it.

I just... I was kind of burnt out at that point. Yeah, at that point, like, once... Once Revelations came out, I was like, all right. Like, I liked Assassin's 3-2 a lot. I really liked Brotherhood. but they were also very much the same type of game like exactly

and so when the third when Etsio was like oh it's the revelations I was like I think I'm I think I've seen enough I'm good it was like a Pokemon situation where it's like I think I get it I'm I've got my fill of this I'm good and then Assassin's Creed 3 came out and I was like oh colonial America that seems like a really cool

fucking setting and then you played Assassin's Creed 3 and it was terrible god they fought with that shit so hard I was so bummed too Because I was like Native American Was that cool? Was that that? That was three.

That was the one Everybody was hyped for I remember everybody being like I know Because it's going to be It's so hard Because that is such a cool

fucking like Like that idea Is awesome Assassin's Creed As like a Like a Native American Assassin like in colonial America

When everything's like Getting sick That is awesome And they fumbled it So hard And what's so sad about it Is that it's not even like Horrificallyly bad

It's just disappointing. It's like that, that intro, like I beat that whole thing. Oh, God, the intro. I'm getting PTSD, bro. You beat three? How do you do that? I did you got to be three? Dude, I played, I played, I played three.

Kingston, Kingston, Kingston. I had, I, this was when I was, this was when I had maybe, I had no job. If I bought a game, I had to finish it because that was the game. That was all I have. I respect that. Because, like, for me, I played three. And as soon as, like, I got, like, a really dumb assignment to kill some guy that was, like, 45 feet away from me. And I just walked up to him and just, I was like, this is dumb.

I'm not playing this game anymore. This is stupid. And I turned it off. For me, for me, it was the intro when you played it as his dad for six hours. Yep. You had to be, you had to be a fucking young Connor or whatever his name to you and all this shit. Like, I can't do this. Yeah.

When they do shit like that, it makes me want to just lose my fucking mind. I almost checked out of a Valhalla because the first like 10 minutes or whatever, you're being the little Avor and you're going around. It's setting up the story and I'm like, I'm about to turn this off. I can't. I couldn't do Val. Nothing about Valah excited me at all. I looked at that game and I was like, ah, no.

Yeah, if you're not into like Norse shit, there's literally zero reason to play. I'm in a Norse shit, but I'm really not into how. Assassin's Creed does history. I'm really not into it. I think it's kind of cute. It's very, yeah, like the whole like the spin on shit. These are aliens. These are aliens.

They're not guys. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's, that's stupid. That's dumb. Robin Tut and all these other fucking gods. Anubis, I know Anubis. He lives 45 paces away. It's like, no, that's so stupid.

He lives, he lives on 308 Negro Royal Way. Look, I understand, I get it, right? Like, there's a lot of stupid things about it as well. But I don't know. I think the, like, Leonardo da Vinci, like, making your flop fly. That's cool. Like, that's cool. No, that was cool.

And why wasn't Benjamin Franklin? Why didn't he do that in three? He was too busy hating black people. They were too busy hating black people. He was too busy hating the fact. They're real? What? he fucking discovered electricity

you do fry niggas man he was like I gotta do something about these people he made every person that hold the kite a black person every person that held the kite was a black person and they were like they all got electrocuted and he took the grand lord laughed and rolled on the floor

tickled pink and went and fuck the black girl because his current family is black people isn't that hilarious his ancestors are black like his current descendants are black. That's so fucking funny. Have you seen that picture of Benjamin Franklin and

Chris Chan side by side? It's pretty interchange It's pretty astonishing. That's so scary. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. What's up with the electricity? I'm working on. Oh my God. Someone please. Someone please draw Christian as Benjamin Franklin

turning around to like his dad saying I'm working on it tying like the kite the key to the kite that's so fucking funny that is so funny I love that that does need to be real

it needs to be Benjamin did you did you figure out electricity yet I'm working on it I think um I don't know I would be I would be surprised

to hear that uh Assassin's Creed 2 was a bad game. You know what I mean? Like that would surprise me. But whatever. I guess I just, yeah, I'm sure it's not bad. It's just the aging

that's probably going to be a problem since I had the same issue with Black Flag. I had the same thing where I played it years later and I'm like, oh, it's not as enjoyable as I remembered it. But it's just because. Yeah, it's definitely, there's no way it's going to be as fluid. That's right. Like a lot of those old games are really rigid. But I don't know. I've been playing a lot of old stuff lately. Some games age well. Like there's, there's, Every now and then there, well, I feel like mostly S&S and prior games age the best.

It's because of the way they look. That nature of 16-bit and like 8-bit, they just, they age well. It's kind of how it works. No, I agree. I agree with that. Every now and then there's a mass effect or like a Dragon Age. It is like, oh, this is still a good game, technically. It is still harder, like still to this day, it is harder to make good pixel art than it is to make

a good looking 3D game and that's wild. I cannot believe that. Like I, I've been told that directly by animators that I know and I still can't believe something like that. Well, it's, it's because pixel art, there's like a, there's like a lot because I could, I could make me with no experience. I could sit in like Unreal Engine and make the hallway from PT look really, really convincing. Like I could do that like from scratch. I could do it. Like I know how to work the engine enough. And I didn't go to school for this shit. It's not my job or nothing. I'm not fluent and Unreal or anything.

But when me and I blind were fucking around with unity and all these different game engines, our first thing was like, oh, let's do a horror game, because that's easy. And it was. Because it's all just walking in, like, atmosphere and shit. And as long as you, like, set up lights in a specific way

and you get the right textures and you get, like, the right resolution, your shit's looking golden, no matter what you do to it. But, like, pixel art, that's, like, handcrafted. You have to look at, like, you have to understand, like,

color theory in a specific way. You have to know like, okay, this is how this looks, because pixel arts, like pixel, um, what do you call? Sprites up close, like blown up look like shit. Oh yeah, of course. So, so you have to think about like when you're making these things, you have to think about like,

oh, this looks like shit while I'm working on it. But when it's far away where it's supposed to be, it'll look amazing. And then you have to animate within that framework. And it's like, it's a lot it's a lot more fucking complicated than like setting up a motion capture rig to like a 3D model and just saying like, hey, can you crouch so I can record that and put it in.

It's a whole different ballgame. And a lot of those games do look great still because of that. Because it's still a difficult thing to do. It's why so many of the pixel art games that come out now are our fucking gems. That's true. Fucking Celeste is awesome. And Dead Cells is fucking great. And all of these.

Very solid. Yeah. Not that, you know, again, I'm sure it's really difficult to make Assassin's by yourself as well. Do you imagine one guy, one guy sweating his mind out? Just, I don't know.

Hasn't stood up in weeks. One thing, I do want to talk about this, this Trump, FBI raid, but first, because I forgot to mention it at the top of the show,

if you listen to this show on Spotify or free feeds or stuff like that, that aren't on YouTube, we've gotten some messages in the last, several weeks about the first 20 or so episodes not being available on Spotify and iTunes for some reason. I want to let you guys know that that is now fixed.

They are now available. So like if you were curious where the fuck the first several episodes of the Star Tank were, or maybe you're a new audience member who just kind of came in and you're wondering where the hell the intro is, they're there now. Apologies for the weird. There's some weird shit with the podcast service that we use that we do. we only just figured out now. So go back and watch those.

Let's be candid. Those are good episodes. Let's be real about this. We had to scrub the episodes clean of all of the N and F bombs. Yeah, yeah. That's what happened. We don't think we said the F word that much. I mean, I have.

I've said it may, I've said the N bomb quite a bit with F one. I've said maybe twice, maybe. I can't stop saying. I say the F thing every morning when I wake up and every night when I go to bed. So that was. So yeah, so it was like 20 episodes, right? And off the top of my head, I think I at least it was like 400 in bombs and like about 40 to 50 F slurs.

Like I just had to clean up. But it was just like it wasn't, it didn't look good. Thousand FF. It's just an episode of just nothing but that. I want to put episode like that out where it's just us saying a bunch of wild. Like one day randomly a Patreon, I recorded myself and edit myself saying a bunch of wild shit. And then put it on Patreon. Patreon exclusive.

Free episode and everybody's like, yo, sweet. I like it. I like it. People were saying that when I accidentally dropped the hard R at the end of that one episode, people were like, oh, could you unmute it for Patreon and shit? I was like, ah, whatever. No, no. Someone's going to take that sound clip, edit it on to the end of the regular podcast,

and I just have it out there. And they'll be like, look, that was Chris Raygun. He said it. He said, I knew it was him I knew he was racist He fucking right away piece of shit Fuck you Right away

So what's going on with Trump He uh he He um He did an insurrection In Mara Lago or something What happened? Yeah his Florida house got Seased by

I don't know By some Tony Stark agency Or some fucking shit They the FBI raided Trump's house and I don't know exactly why. I haven't been paying attention to be, to be frank with you. But... One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar,

and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low... Listen. So,

we sat there listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.

And each year we get bigger and badder, and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open.

Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. I just thought the reaction to it was very funny because I saw all these things like, if the FBI can go after former presidents, they can go after any one of us. And it's like, yes. You're next. That's, that's, like, that's just such a weird.

The dumbest take ever. It's so insane. Like, of course. The FBI has always been able to go after you specifically. That's like their purpose. And the idea that like, oh, even a former president isn't immune, it's like you would want that? Like, if Bill Clinton was out there trafficking minors with Andrew Tate, you know, on the Lollita Express, you know, and the FBI found that out about him, you would want him to just be like, oh, well, he's a former president. it doesn't matter. Like, why would...

Like, you... And the takes about this have been so out, like, out of pocket. They're women's jeans. Fucking out of pocket. It's fucking insane to me. That is such a fucking good, Joe. Good one. It just...

It just bothers me so deeply that people actually think this way. But they don't, though. That's the thing. That's what's so disingenuous. But they, but see, no, they're saying this shit, but they don't believe it. Because if... Hillary Clinton or Bill Clinton or like if Obama right now

they busted into his home while like you know he was he Bo was he was like resurrecting Bo right he dug up Bo and he's like doing some nuance he's doing some dark fucking necromancy They bust into his house and they arrest him for necromancy right

they get him and then fucking all of those same people would be celebrating they would be like justice is being served. We love the FBI and all this shit. You know it's true that like if any of that stuff, that's why I'm like, they don't believe a fucking word they're saying like,

the FBI is fucking corrupt and oh, there's no justice. This can happen to you. And I'm like, it's just because doesn't this just prove that how much of like, of a cult this whole thing is? Oh, absolutely. That fuck my motherfucker can do no wrong.

He can't do anything wrong. He can steal shit. And they're like, oh, it's everyone. else's fault. He can, he can, he can militarize a part of the American, uh, politics political side and then have them attack the capital. But I mean, it's fine. I have another, I have to say, is necromancy illegal yet? Or it has to happen first for it to become illegal. Necromance. Like, it's not illegal yet. So like, if I can necromance, but I just haven't done it yet. And then one day I do it, the cops come in. What are you doing? I'm doing necromancy. They're like, that's like I saw. Like, no. it's not. In fact, there's no law for it yet. I'm safe to do this. Until you do something about this. Until you guys

make a law about me necromancing, I'm going to keep bringing dead people back to life. So, I mean, that's what they're working on. The FBI's putting a case together for Obama. They're still watching them closely. But they haven't arrested him yet because he hasn't got it done yet. He's getting close, though.

He's crying. I'm figuring this out. He's crying. I think I need a sacrifice a couple more kids. Bo, I miss you so much. If you were here, you'd be able to help me. I can't do this. I was going to sacrifice Michelle, but they know she's missing. I'll sacrifice the girls.

I'll do anything to get you back, Bo. I miss you, my friend. Who's going to talk to me about drone strikes and selling kids to billionaires, Bo? Imagine Obama. Obama is just son of Sam and Bo is Sam. Yes. Dude, that's so good. That's been it the whole time.

That's been our joke literally the whole time. It kind of has been. kind of has been. What's that, Bo? What's that Bo? Bo did. Syria? Right now, Bo. Okay.

Bo, you want me to... How many drones? That's a lot of drones, Bo. That's a lot of drones, Bo. That's a lot of drones, Bo. That's going to cost the taxpayers a lot. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I mean, if you insist that the kibble that got you sick came from Syria, Bo, I guess I'll do what I have to do.

No one's hurt. No one's hurting my favorite Obama, Bo. Bo, that is a that is a that is a 16 year old kid Bo are you okay okay okay I won't argue Let me uh let me uh let's be as long as I sell them I'm not doing anything and my people are doing that I'm just making money I'm not I'm the middleman you're right Bo Let me be clear

I think the thing is it's like Yeah if if it And here's the thing too I want to make this very clear Absolutely do this for all of these people like absolutely Like I would love to see that report in the news. Hillary Clinton's house raided. Oh my God. All of it.

It would make me so happy. Does you doubt happen? All of it. Rescue all those kids that have been, she's been hoarding because she drinks the blood of them. She drink the blood of children while eating cheese pizza or some shit. Something like that. I wish I could do an impression.

If they raided Hillary Clinton's house, some sort of flying apparition would come out while they're rating it. Something with the wings would jump out of a window. roar loud and fly away. You'd be like, oh my God. If the FBI rated, if the FBI raided Hillary Clinton's estate, they would probably wind up in the backrooms at some point.

Like, I feel like that's where she exists, where all these, like, wire monsters are like, just fucking, like, like, or there'd be like a, there'd be like a sheet with like a, like a goat head on it. And it would be like flying around. It's like, what the fuck kind of place is this? And it'd be that guy from, what is it?

What is he from? He's like from Wales or something like that. Like a soccer fan is like, hey, guys, you got stuck in here. You went to Hillary's house, I guess, huh? Don't touch anything. And then he would run off. Oh, the British guy in the background.

The one person that back was not hurting you is some British, really intense football fan. And it's like, wait, what is this? What is this? Logan and Jake Paul have now issued warnings to Andrew Tate. What is this? Oh, no. They're beefing with them now.

Oh my God, man. What is going? Are they trying to act like... I would like to see them fight, though. That'd be interesting. I feel bad for this. I feel bad for this guy, this Andrew Tate, who is just like a weatherman at KTL.

Some irregular guy. Some standards. And he's just getting shat on like crazy. By fucking 16-year-olds, calling him everything. Guys, I'm a weatherman. I'm not trafficking people. I swear to you. Like I I barely make enough

For my fucking studio apartment Guys my life is a lot That's what he wants you to think That's what he wants you to think That's his cover That's actually the real Andrew Tate And the other guy is just a He's a he's a puppet

He's a charismatic He's good looking That's not the real Andrew Tate You got you gotta look deeper You gotta look a lot deeper And uh give me money You gotta give you money Buy my supplements

Because I'm getting fucking soon And Sandy Hook And uh Sandy Hook is still fucking fake I was just kidding Bro did you I'm sure if you watch his shit, he's probably saying that to the T.

Did you see, did you see that his fucking defendant emailed his prosecuting lawyer all of his text messages from two years? That shit had me. I was, I turned into a pelican

and I was laughing when I heard that. I was, I was losing it. Bro, at this point, I'm kind of on like the side of like, because I imagine Alex Jones is like, oh this is obviously these people are against me and stuff

and at this point I'm like he probably was his lawyer was probably sick of Alex Jones's shit and it was like fuck this guy and just fucked him over because how does that happen one sweet melty bite of a Hershey's bar

and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon she doesn't say much just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece I open my mouth to say whatever a nine year old wants to say

and she replied with a low... Listen. So we sat there. Listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's. It's your happy place.

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan,

which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Bill. Billboard of years recently, it said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows.

So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call.

24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. How do you accidentally send?

I almost feel like it wasn't an accident. He probably was like, oh, I'm going to, this is, they made an agreement. You're going to pay me this much money to be a lawyer. And at the end of the day, Alex Jones said, no, this is fucking pro bono. This is pro bono, right? You're doing this like he's some shit like, uh, he gets paid if he wins or some shit like that or some try.

And he's like, fuck this. I'm just fucking I'm over. Fuck this guy. Because I don't know how you'd be that incompetent to. I've never accidentally emailed somebody anything. Look. Because you have to, you have to put in. Yeah.

It's such a, it's such a process to, like I've never sent anything accidentally on email. Emailing is so much more work than it, than a text is. It's wild. Then a text for something, right? That's like, that's like mailing. something accident. It's like, oh, that's like, that's like if you picked up, if you, if you were like carrying your baby to the kitchen, right?

And you're like, oh, I got to feed my baby. And then you like did some weird like looney tune slip all the way to the post office. The baby falls in a box. And then someone, and then someone signs it up, Roy's closing it up. Yeah. And then, and then you trip and sign it away. And then it's like, it's like, that is the amount of things that has to go wrong for you to email something accidentally.

It's like the guys that cheat And it's like he was on the toilet Using a bathroom and then she flipped She slipped on his dick while he was on the toilet It's like what? That doesn't happen Crazy that's not how that works That's not that's not You were doing something

There's enough multiverses not an accident There's enough multiverses to wear in one Universe that actually did happen In one of them that is that a bad universe or a good universe like dude which kind is is that like Well, I don't think, I don't think there's any, like, there is no good or bad. It's just, in that there's just somehow that actually happened. But there's good or bad endings, though, you know?

Like, let's think about this, though. So, so let's think about this, though. This guy was, he went into the women's bathroom like a fucking pervert to go jack off because that's how he gets off, right? Okay. And then a fucking chick was like, like a, she, she was like, oh, man, I got to piss so bad. And she busted in without even looking to like, she just had to sit down. And she sat on the guy's dick.

And the guy came at the same time she sat on his dick. But see, like, there's so many universes that in one of those universes that actually happened. You know what I mean? It's kind of like the Earth being populated with humans and shit. There's so many planets in the universe itself that, yeah, random shit enough occurred for us to actually have life. So imagine. Kicks the door and backwards, takes her pants down, slams on the toilet. it's a penis there.

Or no. Or what happened is to make the guy not a bad pervert because, you know, we don't want to have an objectively bad character. So what happens is... I'm trying to think of how... Okay, give me the scenario.

He uses the bathroom, right? Right. While using a bathroom, he takes a very, very forceful poop. Kind of, kind of, you know, stimulating his prostate, therefore erecting his penis,

okay? Afterwards, a woman who is so frantically needs to use the bathroom, she assumes she has her glasses are a little foggy she assumes the male bathroom is the female bathroom so she goes she runs into the bathroom she sees there's urinal she's like oh i guess she doesn't she has a potential urinal she just quick runs by kicks the door backwards slams on guy's dick guy comes immediately woman pee's on guy now what happens what happens at that moment no one's at fault exactly right he didn't do that on purpose. So now it's up in the air situation.

So in that moment, do you tell your significant other that because it was just an accident? Do you even tell them? Because there's no way you can explain that away as a real accident. From personal experience, there was one time where I was at somewhere with my girlfriend and something wild happened that it was, like, it was, it wasn't, I didn't do anything. And it wasn't, it was the most insane thing ever. but it was wild enough that like I tried to rationalize it and I had a panic attack because I knew no one would believe me. If I wasn't there with other people who saw what happened, I would have just moved back to New York.

Are you talking about? Are you talking about what I think you're talking about? Which one? Did we like when you were on the couch? Are you going to tell the story or no? No, it's give me, give me, give me cliff notes of it real quick, Chris. Because wasn't it wasn't that like Lily was in the same room and then somebody did something that like could be misconstrued is like, is that what you're talking about? Yes. I don't remember.

I don't remember the specific. You were there for it, right? I wasn't there for it. Yeah. You just told me. And I'm not going to say what happens. I don't want to name names and I don't want to say things. You could just name fake names.

I was at. So Obama. I was at a place. And a person that I knew gave me a kiss on the cheek. and a squeeze in my posterior. My girlfriend was there and that happened. And it happened and I immediately went into terror because I was like, what? What happens now?

Rational. How is it rationalized though? Like why would, how was that like, how, explain to me as a person sitting on the signline. I was just so frightened and scared because of the situation. situation that would fall out afterwards that I... Give me the how that happened. How did that even happen to you?

It was simply I went for a hug because I was like, oh, this is the first thing I know. Hug. Change. No, no, no, no. Why would the person do that to you? I don't know. I swear.

I swear on my... I swear on my... See, if I'm a detective, if I'm... No, you wouldn't believe me. You wouldn't believe me right now. You see, you wouldn't believe me. But there are people that literally were there to see this.

happened? No, they saw it, but the implication to why that would even happen to you in the fucking first place. This is it. This is why. This is exactly why. I'm Colombo right now, dude. I'm the detective. This is exactly why I'm like, you lying sack of shit. You're like, oh, you, I was, I was

sending suggestive ideas or I was doing something. I was like, I did nothing. I was at a place and that happened. So did Obama explain themselves? No, I left. I left because one of my friends, one my friends saw what happened and they had to calm me down as I started panicking.

So Bo saw what happened. And he was like, he was like, listen here. Listen here. Boy, you did nothing wrong. All right. We all saw what happened. You're safe here. You're safe.

And I was starting to tears. I was so scared. Wait, so you never, so you never, you never talked to Obama. You never, you never got an explanation from Obama.

Never once. I've avoided that person with every ounce of my being. That's going to. me. I'm going to have to call Obama. Why? Don't do that, please. I think they were, I think, I think they were just, they were just, they're a very fluid person, and they were just being nice, and I got scared, and now I'm never going to confront it again. One more question. One more question, and then we can move on.

Thanks. Thanks. Did Obama know, that you were with your significant others? Yes. That's weird. I, yes. That is, man, that is some juicy tea shit. type shit that I actually... It's literally no... There's no tea. I poured the tea out. I fucking... I flew away. I flew away.

I flew away. You never confronted Obama. You know what? That tea is cold, but I'm about to go warm that shit up. No, you're the worst person ever. It was ever. Now, now, now, now the person knows. Now, now my, now my...

You're telling me Obama listens to... You tell me Obama listens to my significant other knows now. Oh, wait, she didn't know. Wait, she was there. No, no, she didn't see it happen. Oh. I thought, oh, I misunderstood the story. So that's why I got scared the way I did because I was like, if she see, if she

saw this, this is going to fuck the night up. This night's going to get fucked. Was she there just not in the, when it happened, she was her eye heartachev was not on me. Understood. Understood. If it happened on me, it would have turned into the thing I was dreading. So that's why I was so nerve-wrapped. I looked like, I looked like a, I looked like a battered wife.

I was shaking. I was like, what? Oh, no. Oh, no. I messed up his, oh, no, I cooked the steak a little too long. It's not medium well. It's well done now. Oh, no, he's going to, he's going to assault me.

And he's going to go after the kids too. What have I done? What have I done? He's going to hit me with the kids. Oh, no. This says a lot about a lot of stuff, man. I love this. This just says, like, dysfunctional.

this weird weird you have interesting friends like Obama's a very interesting friend Lily is clearly a wife beating or what would you call it what's the reverse white beater What do you call that? Husband beater?

It's the same thing. Okay It's the same thing You don't understand Derek The person the person who is getting beaten Is the wife Okay got to All right cool

If you're getting beat your wife Yeah If you're getting hit you're the wife That's wild That is so disresresistant And like that is so immensely disrespectful But I love the idea of Lily being what is she like four seven or something Like she's like fucking just beating the shit out of you what are you like six nine?

You're just like I'm six three She's wailing on your knees and you're fucking like crumpled All my knees and I'm fucking Ah Your knees are really important in fairness That's true if you want to take that a giant go for the knees Yeah I don't think you're six three, dude.

I'm pretty sure you're like seven, four or something. I'm six foot three, dude. I think the last time I saw you, you were like definitely, I think I'm, okay, I think I'm lying to myself because I think I actually, my, my neck is so injured that I'm literally shrinking. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say, whatever a nine-year-old one.

to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number.

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.

That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show.

Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Because everybody's seeming taller to me now. Dang, you're doing the reverse E.T. You place your neck and stay in the room. I think so. You remember that scene at E.T? Where he, where he, yeah, when he's like,

because he got erected, that's actually alien penis. if he didn't know that. His neck is an alien penis. I thought that's Stephen Spielberg. He was in an interview. He was like, yeah,

so you ever watch the commentary things? You ever watch a commentary movie? Yeah, the commentary for E.T. where he talks about how E.T.'s neck is actually a euphemism for an erection. Yes. Yeah. Like,

it's actually really interesting, man. And it was what hooked me on movie commentary. It was that specific thing. I'm like, okay, what else is a euphemism for erect penises? What else, what are their symbolism?

opposed to the Wokowski sisters. They talked about Neo is a penis. Like his entire character is just an extremely hard penis. I want to see. Morphus is balls. I want to see like a really honest, like a painfully honest movie commentary track with a cast and crew that absolutely hated each other.

Like that I think would be amazing. So fun. And it's so sad to be that they have to like, you know, they still have to be like professional and shit. Where it's like, I remember, I remember when you came into work on this day

I fucked your wife and it was hilarious Funniest shit ever The whole rest of the commentary track is just The whole rest of it's just that fighting And then like 40 minutes of silence at the end Because they've left the booth And you can hear them outside arguing too

Outside the booths scheme age Yeah Like really like really faintly Underneath the normal movie Because the movie's just mainly the loudest thing now Right That's funny That's so good man

So stupid I used to be completely, it's the stupidest thing. When I was young, I used to think movie commentary was the dumbest shit ever. And then, like, for some reason, I started listening to podcast forgetting that I used to not like movie commentary. And then I'm like, this is the same fucking thing. At some point, it just clicked. And I couldn't think for the life of myself that why did I not like this for so many years? I used to, like, tell my friend that was obsessed with it.

He's like, I won't buy a DVD if it doesn't have the DVD commentary on it. And I'm like, you're a fucking loser, bro. Like, I'm talking about like Spider-Man and shit. Like, he just, I'm not, I'm, this is a waste of money. And now I understand because I'm completely there with it. Well, I loved movie commentaries because, specifically because I was so used to getting bootlegs, which did not have them. So, like, I would get bootlegs from, like, fucking Machula and, like, Gun Hill Road. They had these people set up.

1-70 bootlegs, bro. Yeah, they would be in, like, the really flat DVD cases. They would have, like, covered that were. extremely faded extremely faded always faded always faded like printer paper like really like just like the scan lines on the printer

like you can tell like they were running out of ink and I would get them and I would bring them home and it would be just a worst version of the movie and that's it so like when I found out that like okay I would spend money on like a on a DVD or like my parents would get a DVD I'd be like okay we have one DVD

which means I have a lot of content here because I have the movie, then I have the commentary on the movie, then like deleted scenes and blueperson stuff like that. So I would watch DVDs to like their fucking, I would 100% speed run fucking DVDs. What is wrong with me? I fucking hate it. Because I only had like, I only had like a handful of DVDs. So like I would watch them a lot. And when I got bored of watching the movie, I would be like, oh, what did they like, how did they make this? And then I would watch that. How did they make it? How did they make Beetlejuice? And you're sitting there trying to get like,

I don't know what's happening. Well, I started editing when I was like eight or nine. So I was like, I was interested in it already. Right. That makes a lot of sense. That was the only way. It was the best way to get a lot of value out of the DVD as well. Because I couldn't just go out and buy more movies.

I was a fucking child. For me, I remember there's one time I was watching 99 Scotsilla. And I, I was thinking, 98, 98, sorry. And I'm stickingly had the commentary on. And I didn't know how to turn it off. So I was like, why are these motherfuckers talking? during this movie. I was like, why are these people telling you stuff?

I was like, I don't get, I'm six, I don't get this, I don't get what's going on. And I'm sitting there through the movie and now I understand a lot of their ideas. First of all, those motherfuckers were insane. They had, they were like, why don't we have Godzilla have babies? They said that for real. And I was just like, what? What? That was, you know how much that Godzilla bothered me?

That when me and my friend Cameron, we were, like, like, all right, let's go to the movies. And it was the choice between Godzilla or Deep Impact. I saw Deep Impact because fuck that Godzilla. Because I was just like, I was kind of a Godzilla geek, like a Gojira

geek. And when I saw that giant fucking iguana, I was like, no, I'm good, dude. I was like, I can't. I was so offended that like I didn't watch it. And I rather saw the most boring asteroid movie I've ever seen in my life.

Deep impact. I'm not like deep impact now because I just like. Deep impact. Deep impact was like, because I saw Armageddon. Armageddon I liked, you know, I think it came out a year before.

Armageddon was a cool movie. And then Deep Impact came out and it was the most boring shit to the point where I almost was like, fuck, I should have just watched that dumb lizard movie. But I just did, come on. Did you enjoy the Godzilla when you watched that movie?

When I was little, yes. And it's also so funny. It's so. bad it's funny though it is it actually is that degree of funny maybe I need to watch it it's been I literally have fish you never heard you never seen that fucking Matthew

Broderick after he crashed into a fucking innocent woman in his car he got out of his car went to a port up here he was like whoa that's a lot of fish that's what happened in the movie bro I swear he friggined he go go gadgeted a woman into a wall with a freaking pistol and then he was like

whoa that's a lot of fish go go Gadgett kill Godzilla. Was he, was he like supposed to, I have to watch that movie because I feel like I've only seen clips of it. Maybe I haven't watched it all the way through. You know what?

I saw Godzilla getting killed, and I was actually, I remember it being a really sad part of the movie. I think they got like missile to death. Is that right? Am I pretty sure he got missile to death? Yeah.

That movie, something, Godzilla was an asshole in that movie, though, in all fairness. It wasn't like nice, semi-nice, protective of Godzilla. It was an asshole fucking America

and he had a little baby. that were like eating people. It wasn't cool. I just couldn't get over the, I couldn't get over the iguana like design. It just, it just didn't do it for me. It looked like a dinosaur.

Yeah, I didn't. It looked like a fucking iguana. Like, am I wrong? To be, to be completely frank, Godzilla always looks kind of stupid. Oh, yes.

In some, I'm not going to disagree. The newest Godzilla movie, like the one of the King, Kong and at first, Gaza looks cool as fuck in those ones. He does.

I will admit, I will admit that. They just made him not as fat, which is, I think that's... It's them dies, bro. It's Godzilla's thighs, bro. Those thighs are plop,

dude. Those things are thick. Yeah, so if you look at... You would eat Godzilla. No, no hesitation. The 98 Godzilla is like a T-Rex iguana. It's like both combined.

He literally has like an iguana body with T-Rex legs. And it's just like an upright iguana actually. We had the T-Rex head. It's just a weird design. There's a new Godzilla one I just came out called Shin Godzilla.

One that just came out. It's made by the person that made Neogedus Evangelian. And it was actually really, really, really good. Well, it was pretty slow, but I really did enjoy watching it. The thing with 98 Godzilla

is that 98 Godzilla looks like a, like more like a xenomorph almost. Like it's the silhouette and the way that it, like, and also. I can see that. Also, they gave him like a, they gave him like a Chad chin. You know what I mean? He's got a giga Chad chin.

He's got a giga chad chin. He's got a gigazzaa, giga chadzala. And it's like, it's just, it's such a weird look. Like every time I looked at it, it just struck me as like bizarre because it just looked like he was just trying to like, he has the smirk. Like he has the giga chat smirk too. He's just like, he does. He's smiling. I love this movie.

God, I feel so. stupid. I really like this fucking movie, dude. What, the 98 Godzilla? I think he still looks kind of sick, actually. Like, I know he guys... He looks... He looks... He looks cool if he's not Godzilla, you know what I mean? Like, if this was like...

Right, exactly. Totally bad. I don't know. If this was like a monster movie about some dinosaur, or like, he would fit, he would actually fit in pretty well in Jurassic World, because Jurassic World does all that weird, you know what I mean? Like, all the weird, like, genetic dinosaur shit. Like, I feel like he would belong there.

He looks bad ass to me, dude. It's the fucking giga. It's the giga-it-chin, man. He's so not Godzilla in appearance, though. Like, he, he, he don't got the thighs. He has long as arms, actually. His tail's not big. His spikes look like, it's a very

90s designed Godzilla. Like, that's another product of the 90s. Like, this is the 90s. That is so, that is so true, dude. This is how people do things in the 90s. In the 90s, they made us, they made a Spider-Man, with a hoodie on and they made a Godzilla that looks like a Velociraptor.

Like that's the 90s, you know? A vegan, a vegan Godzilla compared to the other one where, yeah, the original Godzilla has the fattest thighs. It's comically, like, it's so fucking you look at that Godzilla and you're like this is pretty funny. It's crazy.

I had a I had a fascination with Godzilla and just not even the series because the series were so fucking corny in the movies and stuff. but like just the toys and stuff and all that shit I used to when I used to play drums

I just have a Godzilla on my drum mantle I would like put it up just above my bass drum and it was like a part it was like an accessory and so yeah the 98 Godzilla just

bad taste but now I'm excited now that we're talking about it and we're looking at it he has abs I'm actually and you're saying Matthew Broderick's in it I don't even remember that

I'm excited to watch it I'm gonna go tell let me make sure it is Brojardin 100% I miss it is Broderick is Broderick. Yeah, I don't doubt that. You got Matthew Brady?

How many people do you kill in that movie? John Reno's in it. Yeah, he is. Oh, go ahead. Sorry. You know what's cool, too, is that, like, what's so interesting is because there are so many, the fact that Godzilla alone has just become synonymous with,

like, you could add anything. You could say a word and then Zilla at the end of it, and you would, like, you would know, like, what the implication of that is. I just think that's really cool Like anytime like a character just becomes Almost like what happens with like certain brands Like how Band-Aids became synonymous with just like bandages Right

Or like uh or like how like oh I'm gonna grab an Uber Even though you're grabbing a lift Or Nuggett It's like it's like Godzilla just is His giant monsters Yeah That's kind of crazy Bride Zilla is a show

Like what implication Yeah apparently Zilla means shadow So his name is God Shadow which is fucking... One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much,

just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low... Listen. So we sat there. Listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's.

It's your... your happy place. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with

Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. Dope. Giroira. That is actually kind of cool.

Giora. Gojira. I thought that was, like, I thought people was being disrespectful, but actually, no, it's how you pronounce it in Japanese, actually. That's actually how you pronounce it. I was being rude. And I was like, what? Like, y'all don't got to say it like that, you know?

But it's like. That makes me so excited for fucking destroy all humans, too. Shin Godzilla's really cool, man. You guys should watch it. It's, uh, it's interesting because it's like, it's, this Godzilla's like really freaky. And it's, it deals a lot with the fact that, um, it's on prime. Is it on a streaming thing? It's on prime.

Oh, it's on prime. Oh, watch it. Yeah, I got prime. Shane and Godzilla. I've had prime since 2007, dude. I just realized. Damn, bro. So you've seen every, because, bro, at a time, whenever everything comes out first, there's

everything on it. That's how like old streaming services were. So you probably saw a bunch of shit on there before. So it's weird how well like prime prime originally just started off just being exclusively a two-day delivery service and then they slowly started adding more shit onto it. And I thought about it and I was like, I signed up for that shit in 07. I remember where I was. And I'm like, damn, I don't know if it, how much it costs an offer. It's the same or anything.

I feel like, I don't know, I don't know. I get it too because I'm a student. I get everything too. All I know is now it seems fucking worth it because now there's like real shit on there. And now they got some stuff now too. You spend like 25 bucks and you can get fucking literally same day delivery like overnight. Bro.

I just bought some shit last night and I showed up at my doorstep in the morning. This is dope. I didn't realize. I didn't even realize Shin Godzilla was a thing. Yeah. I'm right. I had no idea either. It looks really.

Apparently shin means true. Well, it's, A lot of, it means a few, because it also means kind of super. Super Godzilla, yeah. Yeah. Because I remember, I only, yeah, because like, uh, the shit of the Dragon Ball Z. Well, I remember Dragon Ball Z shin Budakai for the, for the, uh, PSP. PSP.

Game was dog shit, but it was fun. Yeah, it wasn't very good. It's because they went to Budakai 3. Boudikai 3 was so lit. Like, Bouturikai 3 was such a moment in time of a video game. Great. And then, like, they went to Shin Boudicay, and I was like, it's on the PS. Because when I was younger, I didn't understand that things being on handheld consoles means they had to be worse.

They were just always worse games. I was like, why does it have to be worse? Why can't they put, I don't know, freaking, what's the name of the thing with the Giants? Shadow Colossus be on my Game Boy Vance. I don't get it. I don't get that. Yeah. I know exactly what you mean.

And I realized when I'm like my late 20. that's why I didn't understand that until I was a grown man I was like oh that's why I mean I I definitely learned it like in middle school but there was a time not middle school um junior high sixth seventh yes yeah whatever the fuck that is 27 but for me but whatever but yeah that's uh anyway I don't know what should we should we go into some uh questions how long have we been going on it I can feel like we're almost almost an hour 20 We're just picking around so much

That's why It does not feel that way at all Last thing being said about Trump It's it's a wild situation You guys should watch it It's really funny He pled the fifth in court Even though he is on record

Seeing that only mobsters and crooks Plead the fifth He's just he's just a bag Of just unbelievable moments He's That's a very well Great way to put it He is pretty much a meme

compilation of a person It's like It's pretty wild He also did He also did this weird thing where he posted this This video of him giving a speech On a truth social And then it got it got onto Twitter of course

Because nothing can really get viral on truth social Because there's like I don't even know like maybe like 5,000 people on it But It's just this really It's it's got this like pseudo inspirational like Like music behind it

And it's just A lot of people were commenting like, oh, what a brilliant speech. And it's literally just him going like, America sucks. America's gay. We're now, today America's far gayer than it ever was. And it was, it's so sad. Today America's like an hour and 45 minutes long. Is it a long speech?

Well, I don't know how long this. I'm sure the event, I'm sure like whatever he, I'm sure whatever his thing was was that long. if he did like an address, but it's specifically this like maybe like two minute, three minute thing. It's like it's like an ad campaign basically is how it comes across. But it kind of paints him as like the, you know, the one true guy who's like, oh, I see how, I see how it is. But it's just the whole speech is just him going like America's gay.

America sucks. This thing is bad today. It was bad a couple years ago, but it's still bad. And it's like this is not a brilliant. speech. It's just him saying America sucks over and over and over again. Completely. Which is just like.

And there's literally things within it that he's complaining about that his actions caused. Like there's certain things of like, he's like, yeah, yeah. He's specifically, he was like today America is ranked last in education. And it's like, it's been like that for fucking decades, dog. Like it's, that is not even remotely a new problem. Like that is, it is insane. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see how all this shakes up. It's hell, honestly. This is like, this is, this feels like, I don't even know. It feels like, you know how you check up on a show like young Sheldon and you realize there are six seasons. And you're like, wow, six seasons of this. That's what it kind of feels like now. It's like, wow, we're still.

I can't believe that so existed. I need a minute. I need a minute. That was, that was a fucking revelation. God damn. I thought it just came out. No, I thought it just, I just assumed it was going to fail because who the fuck wants to see that? And I mean that in a way that even fans of the show, like, they liked Sheldon, not kid Sheldon. Why the fuck would they want to watch that? I'm assuming. Like, if I watch, it's always sunny, would I want to see kid versions of those fucking characters? I might, low key. I would love to see, I would love to see a kid back.

Okay, kind of a bad example, because actually that would, that might actually be kind of good because seeing a kid, A kid Dennis? Young Dennis When it's starting, When it's starting, when it's starting, when you're seeing all the shit starting for Dennis,

and it's like, yo. Look, an episode would suffice. Yeah, one episode would be funny. Seeing like a young, but like a series of this shit just sounds fucking like a completely overkill. But apparently there's six seasons

of young Sheldon. I'll do you one worse. There are six seasons of young Sheldon. And I'm not saying that as in previous. I'm saying as in the sixth season premieres soon. Oh. So it's still going, it's not even like six seasons and then it's over. It's six seasons

so far. So it feels like that. It feels, this is how this whole Trump shit feels where it's like, we're still, this is still happening. Like, I'm kind of over it. Like I got, I was over it probably like two years in to the first term, to be quite honest with you. Like two years in, it got like, This is like kind of boring. Yeah, some funny things like, oh yeah, him getting like 200 Big Macs

for that, for those graduates or something. Yeah, that was funny. Imagine going to the White House. Like, oh man, I just won a NBA championship.

Like, I fucking, I put my, I've sacrificed relationships, fucking time with my family, all this shit to fucking become the best of the best in the league.

You know what I've got to have a good dinner. Like probably, probably not even. expecting anything too crazy, but at least something nice, like fine dining, at least. And you get there and you see the fucking flat punched in McDonald's cheeseburgers and

their fucking goop made fucking pink goop fucking nuggets. And I would just be like, I am going to leave. It's not pink goop anymore, man. Oh, what is it now, Derek? Let's have it. It's no, it's actually, it's like, I I don't know how this

ended up in a recommendation on my YouTube channel. Probably McDonald's paying a lot of money. but they showed the actual Tyson factories and they went through them and they showed the process how they prepared the chickens out it's actually real chicken I was like oh shit

literally be they like well you think they just spent like millions and staged dollars people I actually have something to say I have something to say about this because this feels like that whole pink goop at McDonald's

like being the chicken nuggets or the meat that feels to me kind of like you remember when you were told like oh you swallow like 10 spiders every night or something. You know what I mean? No, no, no, no. But that pink goop shit was real, though.

Like, that was actually for real, no, no, no. I think the pink, I think the pink, the pink goop shit was real, but I don't think that was chicken, dude. Like, I think that was like, some other confessions. I think it was probably like, like milkshake, or like, you know what I mean? Like, something that would make more sense to have pink goop. Like, I don't even know the scientific process that you would have to, that you would have to undergo to make pink gop into anything.

that looks, feels, and even taste remotely like chicken. They goop it, they add a little bit of whatever the fuck they're going to add to it, and then they fry it and it's just the nugget. It seems, it seems counterproductive. I don't think that's real, man. The goop or the slime seems counterproductive to the actual consistency of the

nugget, where it's complete slime, and then once you cook it, it just seems like you're doing extra steps or something. You don't even need to grind it to goop. That's what I mean. That's what I mean. It seems like something that we saw one day and we just sort of like unanimously believed but I don't I something something about

that story like bothers me where it's like I feel like that was never true quite I will say I've never looked thoroughly into the pink slime thing I will say I saw the video of how McDonald's this was probably a few years ago I saw a video of how they prepared their nuggets and it actually made me feel because I used to not eat McDonald's chicken nuggets because I'm like I don't know what the fuck's in them and then they showed the workers on their assembly line type of thing cutting the chicken then they throw it into this big thing with the batch of their seasoning and chicken skin and stuff and i'm like oh that's real chicken it's it's a tyson they partner with tyson which isn't the best company right if you're you know if you're a vegan

tyson's your worst fucking enemy Tyson they walk and they pick up a chicken they slam it on the floor and then they go bring it to the slaughter they go bring like why do you always bring us dead chickens already like i don't know they die on the way here i don't know punching they bring in cyclical pass and they just put the people in the room full of chickens start punching them the death. It just saves so they don't have to have machines anymore. It's like they don't even, the guy

pays them to kill the chickens because he's just like, you know, he's like he's satisfying an urge. He's almost like Dexter right? Like where Dexter needed to kill the animals because he couldn't eat. He's having that urge again. So these motherfuckers are killing Tyson chickens.

Can I kill a chicken please? A photo Okay, so a photo circulating online does not. Okay, so what the photo shows is mechanically separated chicken, but it's not from McDonald's. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly

I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low listen.

So, we sat there listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. 1. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. thought.

Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. Apparently.

It's literally just like mechanically separated chicken for like, I don't know, I guess like. It could it be for animal feed? It almost looks like it's animal feed. No, see, I'm actually interested in,

and, you know, I'm not, I'm not going to look into this. One of our listeners is going to, you know, somebody is probably, somebody's probably an expert.

They're gonna lay it out for us. They know. You guys are so dumb. You guys are so dumb. You guys so darn this podcast. Actually, it's made from fucking cockatiel brine. And it's like, whatever, dude. I get it. Sure.

Okay. Actually, Obama in 2008, he signed into law that it's now made exclusively of Middle East people. It's not exclusively of Syrian children. It's made of people from Katar, Syria, and mostly the Gaza Strip. I'd be like, God damn. Hum to Allah, bro. Hum to Allah.

Al-Qi might become Muslim. What else is supposed to do with the bodies? I loki might become Muslim for a week, bro. I might become Muslim for a week. For a week? I'll try for a week. What is? And if it doesn't, I don't feel it.

What is with the most like, you know, the darkest brothers. Say it. Why do they flock to this obviously Arabic religion for people that don't look like them? You know nothing. You know nothing about the black Israelite movement. So, well, allow me. Well, see, that's a completely different thing. No, no, no, no.

Israelites and Muslims are like that's. Do you understand what five percenters are? And light, me. Enlight me. There's a five percent of us. Yes. Yeah. Look, now look, people have made fun of me for years about this shit.

They're like five presenters being crazy. But I, knowledge of self does make sense, right? It does. Understanding self-worth and applying your mind to challenges that you need to get past, you know?

So why does what does religion have to do with anything you just said? Because I learned that from five percenters. Like that's the people that informed me of that idea, that mentality. That's why. I'm just saying like every idea that has been conjured into existence has been used by religion. Has existed. No, but it existed before religion. Religion just packaged this thing into something and sold it to people to control you.

I mean, by definition it would have. This man's out of it. By, by. This man's at arm, bro. By definition, it would have to, wouldn't it? Yeah, it's like these ideas. The idea of people saying the golden rule is like a Christian value, I'm like, oh, treating people how you want to be treated, that didn't exist before Christianity. That sounds.

I don't want to hear this. I don't want to hear this. I'm sorry, brother. I'm sorry, but al-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-oh, excuse me. I see, now, that's halal. I'm actually. Now, that's hal-lah, I'm Muslim right now. I just converted.

That's so disrespectful. That's crazy. But at the same time. I'm religion fluid. I'm religion fluid. Hey, why can't you? I mean, why can you? I mean, it's arguably.

God's jealous and you can't do that. You're disrespecting them. You don't fucking get it, Derek. When I go and get my virgines and you fucking burn in hell for eternity, I'm going to laugh at you when I'm fucking on my virgins. All right, dude. Where's your child bride, though? Make sure you have a child brides. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I want you to, I want you to follow in this shit for real. No, no, no, no. I want you to throw acids on the infidels. you know when you see her. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, no, wait, wait. Fucking Punisher. Oh, man. That's pretty.

I'm too alive. Have we not done any questions at all? No. In fact, I cannot believe we got from Donald Trump to talking about me becoming a 5%er. That is a very interesting loop to be taken. So. Yeah, yeah. All right, let's jump into some, uh, start with some questions.

We'll run through some of these, huh? Remember, you can always ask your questions at patreon.com slash the snark tank. So keep that in mind if you ever want to get into the show in that way. Remember $5 tier gets you your questions in. Sue Hulk wrote in. Whoa. How do you, Sue? Hey, Sue Hulk.

I just want to know if you guys would ever try Haggis. I've never tried it. I don't know what it is still to this day. Well, I think it's a thing. Well, I think it's like some type of meat filled in a sheep's bladder. I think so. I can't do that. Can't do that.

Yeah. A Scottish dish consisting of a sheep's or caps. Ophill mixed with, I don't know what any of these words mean. Well, I think it's supposed to be a bladder or a stomach. I'm not, I'm not fucking Gordy Rimas or whatever the fuck. Gordy. So like, whatever, Connor McLeod or just, just pick up. I'm not Emerald. I'm not Emerald.

The Emerald chef. So like I don't know any of these words. Absolutely gangster. Can you have? Can you have a? I would love if Kitchen Nightmares had a if fucking Gordon Ramsey said that as a compliment. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar

and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I opened my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full.

Hershey's, it's your happy place. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number.

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with you? Morgan and Morgan. What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. He goes to like some, he goes to some chicken place in like New Orleans. Be like, this is absolutely gangster. I love this.

Boyd to pay money to see that sounds dope If he hurt if he like Because I know uh I know Gordon Ramsey listens to snark tank So when he hears this he's probably gonna adopt that You know what's crazy You guys, you guys, this is all jokes aside In October, me and my girlfriend are planning on going

To New Orleans for the fried chicken festival Okay So you got to come with us When did you say? October Uh, wait I can't do October man What part of October?

Like within the like within the first week I might be able to go. I might be able to go. I might be able to go. That'd be fun, bro. It'll be so fun. I mean, I might be, I might be able to go. I would like to. Snart takes take New Orleans. Yeah, I'll bring my new ball and chain. I got a, I got a wife and my life's over and shit. You got a wife. That's insane. You just said that. As soon as that happens, like, literally like, I think I aged a year in like in a couple of weeks. I sincerely, I keep forgetting that that happened. Yeah. Because it happened. It happened. It

happened so nonchalantly. Yeah, I'm getting married. My fucking roommate, my roommate, Chris, um, um, he, like he, he was aware of the situation and everything, but I did, we didn't, I didn't come up to him and say, hey, we did it and all that stuff because I just, whatever, we're all just, we just exist in the house together. And he found out by me just nonchalantly mentioning in my fucking video, the last one that I dropped. And, uh, a guy that I haven't talked to since like high school apparently he watches my shit and he was like oh dude congrats

I'm like what the fuck why first of all I don't even like that people that I know watch my channel I hate that I hate it so much I want no one that I know personally to ever watch anything because sometimes you say things

and you never you know what I mean like you just don't want the wrong thing and it starts circulating in other circles and shit you don't want that ex gangbanging kid that you fuck this girl for that one time and be like, do you did what, Kingston? And then I got,

then I can't go back to New York anymore. I can't, I can't go back to New York anymore because they know where I live. And like I got to tell my grandma, hey grandma, just be, be safe, you know.

Dude, New York is so foreign to me, man. Like, I always hear New Yorkers talk about certain areas and all this stuff. And talking about all these bureaus and all the boroughs and all this stuff. And I have no idea. Like,

I can't picture anything. Like, you guys, Andrew Shultz recently was talking to, I forgot who he was interviewing and he was talking about where he's from and he takes it really seriously by his area and I'm like, I have no recollection.

I can't remember what he said. But I just, the way that you guys, you guys say so many different like, what is it, ekeepsie or? I went to school in Poughkeepsie. Pekipsy. Like when you guys say these things, you'd never go there.

There's no reason you'd ever be. But like, in a reference to I've been, And I've been on the aisle of Manhattan Where what is that like what what what what what is like say and then and then and then and where and that's and that's considered a burrow yes Manhattan is Manhattan is the city but it's it's kind of like how L.A is a city but L.A. County is kind of everywhere right New York City technically technically encompasses Manhattan Brooklyn Queens and the Bronx so New York City is like a county let me let me let me let me explain it to you. Kind of. The city of New York is, the city of New York is Manhattan.

When you refer to as city of New York. But New York... So there is no actual New York City. No, no, no, no. But New York City consists of all the five boroughs. Because what happened is when you live in Manhattan, when you sign things, you don't sign Manhattan. You sign NYC or NYU. Or New York.

Yeah, New York, New York, there go. You don't put Manhattan. But in a business. Bronx you sign New York, the Bronx, when you're in Brookingside, New York, Brooklyn, or stuff like that. The Bronx is like a thing and not like a nickname. No, it's a borough. What happens is New York City is a is a mega city consisting of four other cities that spans a little bit into Mount Vernon and what's the other one called New Rochow?

It technically expands a little bit into it and the Bronx does. But that's that's far up. So is it kind of like, okay, so in the way that, okay. Okay, I think I'm understanding because I know, like, say, for example, Hollywood, Hollywood is Los Angeles. There is no city called Hollywood. Is it like that? Yes. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. It's pretty much a county. It's pretty much the idea of, as L.A. But L.A. County is just a Burbank, you know, Glendale, all that jazz. Right. But those are also cities, though. Yes.

Burbank is a real city with its own zip code. Just like the Bronx is as well. The Bronx has more than one Zipode. Okay. Yeah. It has more than one zip code, actually. Okay, okay. But the thing is, it's not an actual county, though.

No, it's instead of a county. Yeah, see, that's the part where I'm getting, because there's actually L.A. proper, the city. And then there's, like, stupid bullshit around it that's still L.A., but people call it other things like, yeah. Like, basically, like, there's no official county, but the city, like, when you say New York City, there's, like, a double meaning there where it's like it, you're either talking about Manhattan,

or you're talking about what was what is ostensibly just the county of new york city which is considering it the Bronx Brooklyn queens the uh Staten Island I guess is Jamaica a Jamaica isn't Queens and that's a neighborhood it's not a city it's a neighborhood God see this is what I remember when I was in there and I was actually traveling to Jamaica I forgot where I was stopping but I was so confused I'm like wait is this like a see I didn't get it it's fucking, but you're educating me. When you go to New York, you got a, you got a, you cannot expect to traverse New York, and you traverse the men like California.

It isn't the same way. What happens is there's a lot of subway connections, the way that it works. It does a lot of the work for you in a sense that it informs you like loud, like here, the connection to this place and that place and that place. Because I forgot when I moved out of the city and I moved upstate, I didn't really come down to the city by myself until I was like, like in my life. late scenes and I forgot how to get around but what happens

that every single time you go to a stop on a train, it tells you where it connects to and what other line you need to go to. So it will inform me how it works. It is confusing though if you've never had anything like that. If you lived in like I don't know like fucking Sweden and you try to take a train in New York, you'll

very likely get lost. But luckily every train station and line connects to another line that will connect you to another place where you have to go. It's very I have another question The main All the the the the the the subways or whatever They're like the A's the Bs and all that bullshit

Yeah is there a reason why there's always Homeless people fucking is that like I've never seen that certain things I've never seen that in all fairness I've I've never seen that either but Why is there so much food exist of that shit though Well I will say You will find homeless people in the subway Right

Because it's technically shelter. But specifically... One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low...

Listen. So we sat there. Listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's. It's your happy place. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for thepeople.com for an office near you.

I have seen it. I'm like, I don't think these are pranks because there's people around and these people have, they're fucking. They're actually having sex. And I'm like, what is it about New York Subways? I have sincerely never seen that in my entire life. Are you just not looking for it? Because you're so, you're so used to it. Maybe. No, I look around all. I look, I'm very, no, you have to be observant.

Okay. And like, you're not, you're not just passively, like, not looking at anything in the city. I believe me, I'm taking it everything around me. Because at any moment, like, I don't know, a fucking bust will topple over, a fucking, a great will explode. Or, like, a fucking single. Or another building, another fucking giant building will fall down. So you always got to be, you always got to be aware. But the thing is that for me.

Imagine 9-11-2 happening. Like, the same place. They fly into the hole of the freedom plover. The amount, the amount of actual, like, attacks that have been stopped in Times Square alone is staggering. It's staggering, bro. Especially during Christmas time. Like the security in New York City is, the security in New York City is simultaneously, like, one of the most incredible things in the world. But also, if you're calling the cops, they might not show up.

Bro, it's what, bro. if you call the cops in so in upper east side of Manhattan they will show up there they'll show up but if you live in the Bronx and you call the cops

you better deal with the problem yourself you're better off dealing with it on your own because they'll come three hours later angry at the fact that you called them but I do know what's going on here huh you're just like I had to fight off burglars

but I'm I know why it is confused Because it's kind of like To me I would imagine that hearing about New York boroughs and neighborhoods And the distinction between them It's kind of like hearing about like I don't even like the different

Almost like hearing somebody talk about Like Tamriel In Elder Scrolls where it's like Where's Skyrim? Yeah Like wait is white run Skyrim? No white run's a city And it's like oh

But that's in like the fucking You know the The shadow of Mount whatever you know, it's like, I can imagine why it would be a lot more tricky. I will say, man, Seattle's streets are fucking horrific. Like, the way they number their streets is insane because it's all numbers. But none of them are chronological. Oh, nice.

What? What? I ended up, let me, let me, let me, let me find. Frise Tamriel. Frey. Let me tell it's a new, like, that's not an old city. Like, because that's, an old city. city would be like, we don't have

maps or anything, so we have to number things, so we know where the fuck we are. It is fucking, like, it was like south, like, you just like, hey, can you take me the south 1,1,012 street, first street?

And it's like, that's, that would be like an address in Seattle. It's like, it is so bizarre. People just can't keep things simple, man. I just, I don't understand.

Don't get me start on downtowns, man. I'm just not, I don't understand the appeal of designing downtowns the way that they're all designed like the same essentially. Where it's just like, if you've never driven before, you're going to crash. If you try to navigate through a downtown, people are like, am I in England? What the hell is happening?

Oh, okay, so I figured it out. So like their numbers are like, they divide streets based on exact compass directions. So basically there could be like, there could be a 293rd street south and there could be a 293rd street east. And then there could be a two and then there could be a 293rd street southeast. Okay. Okay. Now they're just getting silly.

Because in New York in New York and when you go to different boroughs at least, because I remember there was one time I got on a wrong train. I remember because I was like fucking like 11. I got on a wrong train. I looked on the track and I saw my grandma see me on the wrong train and I saw the panic in her face. She was like, and I went to where I lived in Brooklyn. Because I remember I got off the train.

I was like, this is weird. There's no water by where I live in the Bronx. But since I was in Brooklyn, you could see the water going toward where the ferry was. So I was like, ah, you know, this walk. So I went from like 145th Street,

which I probably can't. If I took this walk now, I'd die. And I went all this. the Huntsy 7th Street. And I was like, what borough am I into somebody? And they were like, you're in Manhattan right now. And I was like, oh, I got to get back to the Bronx. And they were like, kid, what?

They're like, what kid? It's, it is, it's like that in L.A. too, though, because there is like, there's like a Colorado in Glendale and then there's like a Colorado in Burbank. And then there's like, all of those connect eventually. Well, well, no, not all. Because the one in the one, the one, the Colorado in Glendale doesn't connect to the Colorado. Are you sure?

Uh, fucking. And yes, because there's mountains separating them. Oh, you're right. You're right. So, like, Colorado will drop off in, like, one city and then pick up in another city divided by a mountain. So it's very much kind of like that where it's like, oh, this is a different first street than the one I'm supposed to be on.

It was really funny. It was really a similar situation of me getting home like three hours later. I was like, what happens? I went to where I lived in Brooklyn. And it looked fairly similar. And she was like, don't get on a train without. me again and I was like all right I guess anyway so I think the answer to the question is I

would probably try haggis oh holy shit oh my god sorry sue oh my Jesus we ended up talking about miss sue and you're and you got you got really answered wait we didn't even ask too she's she's extra fucking she's extra unfamiliar like hearing sounds oh this whole like everything she's yeah because we're talking we're talking about like But at least like when we're talking about it with Derek, it's like at least it's American.

But like... Yeah, all this shit we're talking about. Sue probably lives like, oh, my address is like 12... It's just 12 stone. The house across the bridge from the Stone Temple sheep on the glass eye of Mount Vernon or whatever. Fucking Haggis Road. Like some fucking 12...

Let's stop being rude to our... Stop being rude to our friends from different places. No, no. Sue's cool. but she's got a real inner fucking husband man that motherfucker's off the rails on Twitter I love it. What did he do when the, you love that shit when the,

he became like justice dangula and people thought he was real? That was funny. I mean, it was funny that like people thought, come on guys, there's nine of them and none of them are named Dankula. Can you imagine Supreme Court Justice Dankula? Like how dumb do you have to be

to think that that's a real person. That's like, oh, I'm Senator Pink guy. That's insane. I think it's hilarious. I love it. It just shows the like... One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon.

She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low... Listen. So we sat there. Listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full.

Hershey's. It's your happy place. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan,

which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got to an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your

cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 47 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.

Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. The susceptibility of people to like how they're so easily duped. But I mean, come on. If you have a 70, almost an 80-year-old fat guy wearing makeup and dyeing his hair, just be like, everything sucks. And then everyone's like, yeah, I guess everything sucks.

You're like, yeah, literally no explanation to why things suck. Fucking jobs are booming. right now and then he gets on stage and says jobs are shit like I literally just saw him do that the job jobs is terrible you're not looking at the real numbers or what makes it funny is the idea that he says she said jobs are booming jobs are booming jobs are booming

but the argument is that he said jobs are great but the jobs that we have are dog shit jobs meanwhile he bragged about the unemployment rate being so low for years as the president this man is you can't make up you can't make up who he is

That's why it's the goat, man. That's why it's when you have people, when you have people, I just, I just wish I had, I grew up in a different way. Because I, I would love to be a cult leader without feeling guilty. You know what I mean? Like, I would love to just like, and then I would, I would just, I would just feel like, just haggis, like, bags or whatever, full of come and make people eat it. like I would just do it just because I can that's wild man that's how it you you isn't that like isn't that like a regular recipe of haggis you do not have power because you are not supposed you are not worthy you are not worthy you are not see like I don't

want to do evil and level and stuff I just want to no I just want to force feed people come yeah isn't that funny everybody drink my come that's it and like wouldn't it be funny wouldn't it be funny if I made all these all these really desperate people who are probably like looking for something really who probably have like tragic holes in their in their lives and in their souls and they're trying to fill it with just some semblance of meaning it wouldn't it wouldn't it wouldn't it be funny if i filled their esophaguses with my cum and told them to eat it because it was like a fucking ancient tradition god will be happy if they ate my come oh look good god would love you more if you ate my fucking come you're out of

fucking mind you off your fucking rocker bro lots of like but would you guys but would you guys try what i actually try haggis um i i really really have a day i just don't like a lot of Oregon meats unless the consistency is like muscle meat you know if if it's like because like say my friends you know Mexican they love menudo and

and you know they're just they're just just going to town on cow stomach I've heard I've heard I've heard noodles cow stomach it's fucking gross and the way you have to prep it dude it's just not you gotta dry it's such a long process and it smells terrible

it smells awful and because it's I gotta say I Yeah, like Minuto doesn't If If, if, if, If Haggis,

It really depends on the consistency, I think. Like, if it was like the consistency of like a steak or like a like a like a like muscle meat like like yeah. Like it was like the consistency of muscle meat. I think I would probably eat it. Like I would eat most things in in that consistency. Like if somebody came to me and like hey, welcome to fucking I don't know Thailand or or Vietnam or whatever. And it's like, hey, would you do you want like um do you want some dog? or do you want some cat?

I was like, is there anything else? And they were like, no, it's like, I guess I'll have a dog. You'd have to trick me. You'd have to trick me. I think I would eat that. My dad, my dad was telling me this awesome story about how like when he was 19, he was in Korea. And because he was in, he was doing, he was in the military.

And they were doing like some training exercise in Korea. And then they went out for burgers. And apparently they went out with people who were like already training there for a while. So they kind of knew the area. And they tricked them into eating dog burgers. And they didn't tell him until like the end of the day. They had it at like for lunch at like 12. And then like at the end of the day, he was feeling totally fine the whole day.

And then they were like, by the way, that was dog. And then he started throwing up at the end of the day once he learned. I just love all the mind works. Yeah. The mind is delicious. The connection between a person and a dog is sacred. Humans and dogs have a literal sacred. It's not people.

If that were, if that were true, that part of the world would not be destroying dogs. No, they don't care. because those are demons. Those are demons. They fell. They fell in Allah's eyes. They're careful. You're starting to sound like a Trump supporter.

Careful. What do you say? Be careful where you're treading. You're saying those people are, you're saying those people from the side of the world are demons. You got to be careful where you're treading, sir. Open a book, read the literature. All I'm saying.

Anyway, let's move on because we've only got to one question in two hours. Yeah. God damn it, man. All right, let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see. Your noble truth, wrote it. He says, ahoy, ahoy, you chicken arrow critters. I don't know, this is, fuck it with my dyslexia really bad.

If you were all supervillains, who would your arch rivals be? Oh, imagine dragons. Absolutely. I would, I would, I would be a supervillain, and I would, I would, I, I would make life difficult for them in the way that supervillains make life difficult for superheroes. Just completely, like, out of pocket, like, really unbalanced. Like, oh, this rock band has to deal with this, like, genuine threat now. You're...

That's... That would be my story. Who would be my... Who would I hate? Who do I hate? I don't know. Other than, like, the gays, who would I... It would be a viable person for my wrath.

Very classic. I'm trying to think. You don't have anybody. It's not even like, it's not even to be like somebody you hate. It just could be like an arch rival. Like somebody like Ethan Ralph would be a good one. No, he's not worth. He's not worth my powers.

I want him to keep doing what he's doing. Every, every one leads to Reagan. Dude. The whole Reagan family. The whole Reagan family. The whole Reagan's family. Just me and the same. guy throwing the lightning bolts at their

house. They're just like, please stop, but I refuse. I want to just get Haggis, fill it with come and feed it to Ben Shapiro. That would be really good. Oh, my God. I think it's really... This haggis is really good. There's an extra spice on here that I

quite understand. And I just like, that is my cum, Benjapiro. And then he won't, he won't accept it because these two, you know, with this argumentative like no I I this is this is this is uh this is this is crispy creams filling

this is this is crispy cream's icing and it's very delicious and he'll just justify it then he won't accept that it's come he'd be gargling it behind the scenes once the cameras are yeah I literally like it's like it's like that episode of it's like that episode of SpongeBob where Squidward like takes that little bite of the burger

and then he's like he's painfully addicted to it that his face an episode when his eyes are like slumped in and dark it's like yo my favorite my I think I I will say I think about his lips like grabbing that little piece of meat I think about that at least once a week

that is insane it's so unprofile it is it that image just left such a profound impact on my brain it's just tattooed in there like I will never I'll be I'll be on my deathbed when I'm like fucking, I don't know, 48, suffering from like insane Alzheimer's or whatever. I'll be buried, I'll be senile. By 48.

Jesus, right. By 48. I'm speed running. I think, but I don't want to die. I don't just want to die. Like, I don't want to, like, get in a car and, like, explode or something. I don't want to get, like, oh, a stray bullet gets me. I want to speed run life.

Like, I want to, I want to get through all of the phases that a normal person gets through, but real quick. Fair enough. I want to be elderly by 50 for sure. We can make it happen. A lot of drugs? What is the youngest person? A lot of drugs. A lot of drugs.

The youngest person I got Alzheimer's ever. Like I fucking. Probably a baby, honestly. I was so sad. I mean, if you keep sleeping like shit, like say four hours a night and you don't have the genetic, uh, what is it, whatever, the ability to be recharged off of that, you'll get, you'll get dementia really fast. So, you know, just, just sleep for four hours in night and be,

insanely tired and then just drink buttloads of caffeine and you'll get there quickly. A 23 year old is believed to be the youngest person in Britain diagnosed Of course he was dementia. All right mate, I don't know what the fuck's going on it.

You know, you know why we have that statistic? Why? Because in Britain they have the NHS and so he's been alive long enough for them to figure that out whereas if that happens over here that guy's like diving in front of a train to save a cow or something. I'm so fucking confused.

I have no idea what's going on. Where am I going to? I have no clue where I belong. Oh, wow. Look at me. Let me go ride and find Franklin the tugboat. And he goes, jumps into a lick and die. That was fucking manic.

That entire drive was if I saw anybody doing it. Oh, my God. Like a fucking animatronic. Isn't that just what British people look like always? That's so vile. I just did a really good impression. That's so vile.

Oh, you're looking to catch the football game. Later today on the telly. Football TV. On the TV. Oh, my, bro. I like looking at the telly. You want to have some on-season meat. I need to go to the lude.

I don't finish cooking my bacon. Ooy, oi, oi, oi, oi. And it goes in the house. Put the milk in the tea, mom. me. Mama, eat the milk in me tea. I'm so sorry.

I have a whole ass British sister, which is so fucking fucked up. I like it, man. They've been in control. They've had so many. kingdoms and shit. It's their time. They need to be, you got a punch down, man. I love the idea.

I love, hold on, huh. I love the idea that like, when you're thinking of a talent, you think of like, you think of this, and then like, you think of New Yorkers, you think of like, you know, and then you think of like. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch

with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open in my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan,

America's Large Injury Law, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. British people. This absolute psychosis. What's going on here, mate? Boy, bro. I could go for a little bit of a Roder and fun up in a little, right, all right. Let's go to Nando. We gotta stop. I want a little chipping with a little bit of tea with a little bit of honey with that fanny.

God. You know what I mean, right? And put that dead body in the boot. Put the body in the fucking boot. Holy shit. All right, let's move on. Holy fuck. Cremlin de Gremlin wrote in.

He says, what's the funniest memory you have playing a co-op game with someone? I don't have answer to this specifically, but I don't have an answer to. have a memory that stuck out. It's not, it's not co-op exactly, but I was playing Smash Bros. With I think you, Jalen Paul, and a bunch of other people, and I remember specifically, and I've never been able to recreate it. I've never been able to do it again. And maybe you remember this. I, I main snake in that game. And snake places like explosives, right? And you can like, kind of like detonate them whatever you want. You could stick them on people, all sorts of shit. but there was this one time specifically that I remember

placing an explosive and dying I lost I lost all my lives I wasn't playing anymore and there were two people on their final lives and they stepped over it and killed them and I won while being dead do you remember this? Yeah, you're the most kills by being dead

that was really... That was insane to me because I did not think that was possible but like it because I don't really play a lot of co-op like the only

I I can't maybe like gears of war back in the day like horn mode when like we would get like to level like 49 and then someone would disconnect

and fuck it up for everybody those were moments that I remember that's horrible I've definitely been the guy and I've been there for that guy and the shit

that guy gets called in the lobby is outrageous dude I know I know Because that happened to me specifically with ODST. Because I remember when ODST came out, because there were these firefight achievements where he was like, okay, we had the last like a certain amount of sets and a certain amount of waves in firefight on legendary to get this achievement. And then we did it.

And we got like super, super close. And then my Xbox red ringed. And then I'm sure that there were all sorts of slurs going on in that fucking in that Xbox Live party. There was something so pure about it back then, you know? Like, it was, it was very pure. It was like, I'm upset and I'm just saying things I'm upset. Gris is an N-word. You ruined it for all of us, that fucking N-word.

I love it. But I've also been, I've also been that, like, I've been in that Gears of War lobby where eyeline disconnects at Wave 49, and it's just, God damn it, this piece of shit. Fucking asshole. Why do you join the game if you know you're going to disconnect? What the fuck is going on? You spent six hours on this? Eyeblind is also the worst teammate in history.

He is the worst in history. I like playing with him, but he's a terrible team. I love, like I, like, what is it? What has been a funny time? There was one time we were playing Smash at Joe's house, and one of our friends played as Donkey Kong, and he would just grab people. No, we were playing with Lyle, and Lyle kept playing as Kirby, and he would just swallow Kyle and then spit him out.

every time. And it was like, it was, that's like a technique from like smash bros one. But he just stayed on the ledge, swallowed Lyle, spit him out below the ledge and it floated back up. And I've never seen Kyle get really mad before. And he just, and he wasn't even mad. He was just more hurt. And it was so funny because I've never seen him get hurt like that. It did. It did feel, I was there. I saw this. He was so bad. It did feel like, it felt like, like watching,

I don't even know, like watching a dog get its face rubbed in piss that wasn't his. Just hurt. You know, like, just like, just like, no, like unnecessary shame for no reason. And then Lyle was the kind of guy that like, to make sure you die,

he'll rub shit on a knife, and stab you with it. Like he's just a bottom feeder. He has no honor at all. So is watching this one person that's trying to have fun with this game while this other person just being a huge piece of shit to them. That's like that's like the fucking, um, that's like that video.

That's like that video of the guy dipping his, dip in his hand and bitch and punch the other guy. He was doing poison damage. I've never seen that video. They were fighting in a bathroom. They were fighting in a bathroom. And then he like, I don't think. he did it on purpose. I think he went

to punch and then his hand dipped into the urinal and then he puts it out and punches the guy in the face again with a fistful of piss. It is poison damage, bro. It's poison damage. It's such a good

it is such a good video. It was an elder drink poison damage. 2% man. He's got to get that stack up and you're going to be fucking ruined. If I keep punch you about piss-fist, You're gonna fucking die You just see his life chipping away

It sounds like some UK shit That sounds like something that would happen in the UK Was it? It might have been America They were they were ruffians It sounds like something that would happen They were ruffians It reminds me

It reminds me so much of the beginning of fucking splinter cell conviction When you're fighting in the bathroom And you're like bashing You're like bashing some guys head Through a urinal and breaking it Should be dead Like I should be dead

It should be flat his head should be flat. Sparrow's our conviction was a good game. This is not a good, you know, not a stealth game exactly. I never played past the first. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I forgot about. Halo 3, it was like multiplayer with my roommates. And I remember there was, we would jump on a warthog,

and so we would try to get somebody else to jump on the back, jump on the machine gun or whatever on the back, mounted. And then so whoever would do that, we would just drive them in circles and see how long until they just would get off. Because you know, you wanted to see how long they would last before they're like, what the fuck are you doing? And one guy, like, lasted for a long time. And then as soon as he got off, he got sniped. And it was like the funniest fucking thing ever. Because I can only imagine how mad that guy was thinking like, oh, we're trying to actually win. And then we're fucking with him. And then he dies immediately. It was just, it was just like beautiful, like if it was as if it was planned. out. So the circle thing is like a weird thing that we do though because I tried out path of exile in I don't know 2014 whatever that Diablo rip off the free to play one and it's actually pretty fun and we would just get everyone in the lobbies like there's a place where you go where you can buy skins or whatever before you jump right back into the game people are just kind of hovering around like an MMO and we would get everyone to just start running in circles and just you start

see monkey see monkey do you just keep doing it and other people would see other people do it and everyone's just running in circles just for no fucking reason that that was such a magical time for video games when that was pot because i feel like that kind of thing doesn't really happen that much anymore like i feel like now because everybody's like grinding for the battle pass you know what i mean they're like oh man i got to get i got to get these daily challenges in or whatever i'm trying to get but like back in the day you used to have like you would jump into like a team death match game and sometimes

you could communicate to the other players in a way that would be like let's just fucking do let's just do stupid shit and like the game would stop like no but like people would stop

trying to kill each other and they would be like oh let's try and like make a tower of men whatever crazy because I was never that kid I was the asshole or someone with a shotgun

and kill them they're like oh the people were playing like something cool and I'd walk up to somebody and I would just fucking shotgun shotgun in the back in their head

blow their brains out It's crazy that you say that there, Derek, because I remember there was this one time that I was on a turret, and I was around, spinning around circles for like a really long time and then I jumped out. Did that actually happen before? Can you imagine if that, like, my mind would shatter if it was you. The world's small but also huge at the same time, you know? It was kind of like getting on a team death match with the Jesus Christ in Modern Warfare 2. Like, he got the name. Like, that's the guy.

And I'm like, who's this guy who had to have been on the game from fucking the first hour to claim that name? Because, like, that's one of those names that someone's claiming immediately. I've definitely played, I've definitely played Marvellous Captain. I'm that nigger 69. I've definitely played. You're what? I'm that nigger 69. That fucking joke that was going on all over fucking, like, every video game I remember hearing that.

And I was like, no one has that name for me. real. And then I played Marl versus him and I was like, yo, this guy's a real person. That's insane. I'm that niggas. Funny as shit ever. Do you remember when your call tag, a model war, like, it could just be a dick and balls. Yeah. Or you just do the eight, you know, equal equal, let you just do the, the fucking they, I was grandfathered in. So that was still my call tag from all those years ago. I logged in in 2018. And then I changed it just because I, I'm like, whatever, and I try to change it back, and they couldn't do it anymore. I was so mad.

They don't let you do it anymore. I was so mad that I was grandfathered in. It was still there, and I changed it like an idiot. I couldn't believe I did that. Rookie mistake. Rookie fucking mistake. Anyway, the indomitable human spirit, Ronez is, howdy there, Chris, Zach, and Lyle. I'm moving 12 hours away from my home state in order to pursue my master's degree,

and I'm both incredibly excited and terrified about this prospect. So I figured I'd ask you, you guys, if you had any interesting stories to share regarding long distance moves slash road trips, given your past experiences moving across the country. As always, thanks for all the laughs and smiles.

You fellas bring. Yeah, I mean, Jesus, I've moved across the country like 17 times. I mean, I always like just about. I've had sex with a lot of desperate hitchhikers. I'll say that. A lot of desperate hitchhikers. What? A lot of

desperate male hitchhikers? Mostly, mostly, male. There was like one girl. Oh, there was one girl that, like, I, I, I wasn't even into it. I was just like, I was hoping she'd be a man, but it was. In fact, yeah, in fact, it was the least interesting one. Yeah, I was like, I was like, she was like, oh, she's going to feel like, oh, this is obviously, I do. I'm just going to wait until she, she pulls out the pipe and then I looked there and it was a fucking, fuck, a fleshy cut. And I was like,

God damn. Well, yeah, yeah. It, I mean, yeah, I mean, it, it depends, man. Like, I, I, I, I, I, I, it I drove across the country a really long time ago, like with my friend Jalen, and we had, I had no money. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full.

Hershey's, it's your happy place. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan,

which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion. been recovered it's actually I think somewhere north probably closer to 22 23 after this year and each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on awesome so how does someone get in contact with

Morgan and Morgan what would I do if I got into an accident probably the easiest way is dialing pound law that's pound 529 from your cell phone we are always open our call call center is always waiting to take your call 24 7 365 wow Dan Morgan for Morgan and Morgan, America's large injury law from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. At the time, we couldn't stop at a hotel. We stayed at one hotel, I think.

And that, like, fucked my budget up entirely. But we had, I think I had maybe, I had, like, a hundred something bucks, a hundred and sixty bucks, I think. And so, like, you know, we took, we took showers in Walmart bathrooms and fucking slept outside in parking lots and fucking, you know, did all this crazy, like we, I remember specifically, we almost died in, Kansas, like, twice. Some trucker tried to run us off the fucking road. And then there was this

fog that was, like, silent hill thick. And it was just like, it's, driving across country is awesome, because it's, especially if you're doing it with somebody, and it's, and somebody that you, you know that you'll get along with, because you just end up with a ton of stories

by nature of just traveling that long. Just, just, just, just, Just getting sore from that drive will fuck with you. Like, I remember in New Mexico, we were in the middle of nowhere, and I had to, I had to stand up because I turned to jail. I was like, Jaylin, my balls are killing me. I have to, I have to stand up. They're so big. Like, this is like, no, it's just, I don't know what it is.

Like, it's sitting down, I, I've only done that drive once, and that's the only time that's ever happened to me during that was during that drive where it's like, I felt this is intense. just like, I don't know if it was like pressure or like whatever the fuck, but I was sitting for so long and I'm just like my groin was just like explode. I was like I can't. I got to fuck. I have to stand up. I have to stretch for a little bit and like I don't know lay down on the grass or the sand or fucking or something. And so we get out in the middle of the night pitch black New Mexico and Jalen looks out into the sky and he's just paralyzed by the fact that you could see the galaxies. And shit. Because you can actually see stars when there's no fucking LA pollution or fucking light shit all over the place. And it's amazing. It's an amazing thing to see because it really like, I don't know. It does make you feel small. Yeah, it makes you feel small.

Yeah. And you start going crazy. It makes you feel small, but it's, it's, I don't know, like, I remember looking up and it's just like, he's like, wow, this is an amazing feeling. Just like seeing this. And I get, like, part of me like really gets how people could like live out in the fucking middle of nowhere just with that shit above you. I can't. I can't do it. Like, imagine looking up.

No internet. Suck my cock, dude. I can't watch porn without the internet. I don't know. I feel so much. I bet I bet I'd be so much more healthy without the internet. Oh, oh, I mean. But healthy, yes.

Dude, I've been like not. I've been, uh, since I started playing what ass creed for 36 hours or whatever. So I've been like not on the internet. And I realized how much more relaxed my shoulders were from not seeing stupid bullshit about because I see a lot of memes, sure. then there's always the, it's like this Trump shit. You know, I'm like, I'd feel a lot better than not even seeing any of this stuff. I love it, bro.

I love it. I don't use, I don't use Twitter enough to, like, really get into the point of where I'm, like, dangering myself. Because for me on Twitter, I go on Twitter, I post like something stupid. I post a good morning, shit. I post something like maybe, maybe at max on Twitter, I post it maybe like five times a day. Max, like very small little things. And then I'm usually out of there. But I love it, bro.

I love it. I just, because once upon a time, it was so hectic and toxic. But now I just, I live, I thrive in it, bro. You know, I've gained that ability. I'm a fucking, I'm a skin dancer. I'm dancing, fucking dancing the skin of all these fucking psychos. And I love it. Yeah, these, uh, I don't know, cross-country shit.

Never really done it. I've been, I've been, I've drove cross-country a bunch of times because my grandma, we'd always go and visit, we'd always go to Florida. We would take the 10, which is like a fucking. scenic thing, which is I hated it. When you're a kid, all you want to do is stay home and play fucking video games with their friends and shit in the summer.

And I would go with my old-ass grandparents that don't like anything and fucking... I don't know why they think that kids would want to do this shit. If we didn't have video games and stuff, if we were kids, like when they grew up and there was

nothing, yeah, that's awesome. It's really fun because that's literally the most entertaining thing you could do. But then when there's cable and fucking PlayStation and Dreamcast and all this shit, I'm like, this fucking dumb. Yeah, wow. It's like, I can't go to space and fight aliens because they have to sit in a car for 10 hours. That's wild. Thank you so much for this experience.

And they didn't like, they didn't like fucking shut up, man. They didn't like stopping. So you would piss in bottles. That was like the thing too. It's like, let's make good time. That's barber's. So you're going to piss. You're going to piss in a bottle.

Instead of I remember being in Georgia, like about to piss my fucking pants. And all they had was a open, like, Coke bottle or not bottle, a can. So I had to angle, make sure my dickhead is just perfectly, you know, at least when you have a regular bottle, you can just kind of like slam your dick onto it to make sure it just pisses in the bottle. You know, but like the thing, you have like these sharp little edges, you know, where you drink from. when you open the thing, that's just kind of sharp. So if you want to make sure that your pee hole is directly in it, you're going to have to kind of shave your dick a little bit.

You got you, you're going to have to kind of like to. See, I like to mash it in. Yeah, you just like to get it all the way in there. I fold it once and I fold it one more time than I fold it one more time. I get one more fold than I did. I fold it. It's out like this and then I fold it once. Then I fold it again.

fold it vertically? Do you fold it vertically? No, I fold it vertically first, then I do a flip horizontal, flip vertically, to my dick looks like a fucking little, a little piece of cardboard. And then I put it in, I piss like that, and then I'll pull it. You fist like that? I actually, we actually didn't do that. We didn't piss in bottles somehow. I guess, I mean, you can stop.

I don't understand the fucking why it was so even like, can I pull over on the fucking next. exit or on the side of the road and just piss the side of the fucking road. If you're in the middle of nowhere, your parents are barbarians. That's why. My grandparents will rip to my grandpa. He was pretty reasonable. My grandma, she's getting older. I think

she started calling me a lot recently. I think she's probably been reflecting on a lot of stuff. And so I think she feels bad. She was a, she's fine, but she wasn't like, standard. You know, she's probably like, I think your grandma

was a really good person. Who mine? She was like, yeah, you're right. You have a good grandma. My grandma's dope, but she's fucking harsh. One sweet,

melty bite of a Hershey's bar and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece.

I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's. It's your happy place.

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.

So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Todd.

Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Well, she's, okay, let's say on a tier of S to D, where would you rate your grandma? Oh, solid A, solid A, easy.

Okay. I'd give my grandma like a B minus or something. She wasn't like horrible, but there was some things that about her were that it could have easily slipped a few grades lower, but, you know, I wasn't tortured, so. Oh, yeah. Like, my grandmother, my grandmother was always kind to me.

She loved me definitely, and she defended me a lot. She was just, like, very much so she was old and, like, biracial, like, half Hispanic and half, like, Caribbean. And she was like, she thought that being harsh was the best motivating factor for kids. It worked for my mom. It worked to my sister. So what did you gain from when she would, like, blend rats and make you drink them? She never blended rats

Did you Did you gain anything from that When you would do that? I'm never blended rats That's why of your parents Blends rats They blend rats with the fur on it too They don't even take the fur off

They're like you hungry You know what you get You know what you get for fucking up that test They grab one of their fucking many rats In their fucking tub It's like in a big old like cheese puff tub too When they dig in there You hear a bunch of rats

They grab a rat Throw it inside of a blender and blend that shit make you drink it. And it's like, what? Will it, will it blend? Like, how well does the blend? Does it look like pink slime when it's done? No, it looks like, drink your, drink your nuggets.

Drink your rat nuggets. Take your fucking nuggies here. Take your fucking nuggies right now. Your ratty nuggies. We call them ruggets, right? We call them ruggets. Fucking ruggins. Rubgets, man.

Oh. My God. I love Ruggets. Whoa, this episode is on fire, bro. The puns. You know what I love? You know what I love about that? It's not even clever at all.

That's what makes things funnier, dude. The death of comedy. I don't like that Frazier smart shit, dude. I'm not in the way. Frazier's good, but like also, no. Just give me fucking dumb shit. Well, Frazier is dumb. Like, Fraser's dumb people pretending, like thinking they're smart.

Like, that's that. See it with Seinfeld low key. But Seinfeld is great, though. The writing. No, no. No, Seinfeld. No, no, no, no. Seinfeld is a sitcom about bad people who think they're good.

Yeah. Well, actually, they all kind of, actually, they're all kind of aware that they're not good. But no, no, no, no, they try. They happen to is the entire people outside of their group. We don't, we don't have time. We don't have time to get it. We got to get it. That's true.

Fuck it. Let's Marathon the shit. Fuck it. No, fuck that. No, fuck. I haven't done anything today. I got to do some shit, too. What do you mean?

I drink. My water got hot by the time I was done with. done now. So I was drinking hot water for a bit and I'm so sad. I'm so genuinely not happy because the warm water touched my tongue and I feel like I'm cursed.

Freeze a bottle water overnight and then when you're ready to the podcast take it out and then you know it'll melt pretty quick since your room's so hot but it'll be cold. I'm in such a bad state right now dude. My room my room is actually darker than this but it's so hot

It looks brighter than it is. Stupid. All right. So, Mexedankus Sanchez wrote in. He says, Hey there, Mr. Blackman, the Dark One, and Puerto Rican. What's a classic, what is a classic childhood dish that you still find yourself enjoying from time to time?

I will always have some ramen cups in stock for that very reason, and also because everything is fucking expensive. Oh boy, oh boy. Keep up the great content, my beautiful buff boys. Same thing for me too, ramen, man. For the question. Is that a child? I don't know.

See, I didn't eat ramen until I was in like late high school. Really. Like that was not, and like college was like, it was really like my introduction to ramen because it was so cheap. Tyson chicken nuggets. I mean, Tyson chicken is fucking kind of good. Like, it's kind of great.

I mean, yeah, it's great. You can really taste the, the torture. It's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. I love it. I love that there. I'll fuck up a bag of Tyson chicken.

It's really good. Oh, fucking. I punched that chicken to death my fucking self. You never had any fucking, like, ramen, man, ramen was my, like, my stepsisters hate ramen because of how that, that was 90% of our meals as a kid. But I have, if you look at my pantry right now, I actually just told Joe Joe's, like, I know we have all this like frozen chicken

all this stuff. She's like making all this good shit. I'm like, I'm gonna start working on this pantry that's a stockpiled full of like rice errone and fucking uh, and top ramen and all this stuff. So that's gonna be my fucking diet for like the next month. Nothing hits more than you outside a cold day of work. You walk home from work.

You get those two squares of top ramen. You crack them up. You put them inside of there. You make it on a stove top. You always got to make it on the stove. I do stove top. I'm a big believer in that. Yeah, let it simmer, let it simmer.

You add a few dashes of adobe. You go, you boil a nice egg. You get some meats you had, you chop them up. Put it in there, bro. That shit is cuisine, bro. Yeah, I mean, you're doing too much work, but I agree. I agree, like, you spice it up and you can make it like a good, like real ramen. But I am, I want to get wealthy enough to have a personal chef.

Oh, that's so much. I love good food. I don't like cooking. Oh yeah, me too. It's just so expensive. Yeah, I don't want to do anything. I don't want to... It's really not even the cooking.

It's actually the cleaning. That's the part that I don't want to do, ever. I know exactly. The ultimate... Having a personal chef is perfect because of the fact that you have... You have... Like, dieting is the hardest part of losing weight, for real. Like, once your diet is on green, it's on, like, good,

just simply eating will help you lose weight. You'll eat your meals. It won't be a huge amount of fucking fat and bullshit in it and you eat that and every day it'll be fine. You'll have more energy to do shit and you'll just be able to like, I guess I'll start working out now because my gullet is, my gullet is good. I can do this, you know? Yeah. I'm an idiot though. I don't, I hate eating like perfect so much that I would compensate it with two hours in the gym.

I would work extra hard so I could eat like shit. Right now, I'm not working out to that level, and I'm still not eating great, so it's not working out that well, so one's got to give. I'm like, I either got to start eating better, which technically,

I don't have to eat great. I just have to eat less. Technically, like say, I do have green supplements because I'm a child. You don't eat greens? And I rarely do. That's crazy, bro.

Like say, I had pasta with a little. little bit of broccoli in it only because it came with it. If it had the option, I wouldn't have even put the broccoli in it. But I'm just like, well, it's already in it. It might as well eat it. And it's not even gross. It's not no. Broccoli is not gross.

Like I said, I didn't just refuse the pasta. It was like, oh, no. I'm like, I just, even if I'm fine with it, I'd rather not eat it. I might have told the story before, but just psychologically, it actually has to do with my grandma. I was a sick kid and I couldn't keep down solid until I was. I was like four. And even when I was keeping down solids, most stuff just made me nauseous.

And my grandma didn't care about that shit. So she would basically, you can't leave this table to you eat your squash. You're throwing up on the table crying. It was your teeth, your fucking teeth are bleeding. My grandma didn't get a shit. She's like stop being a fucking pussy. Basically. She thought I was just being.

Grandma She just thought I was being like a A difficult kid You know, because kids don't But I'm like, no, I You don't understand. Like, you know, my mom, I think I got to explain to her And she still didn't matter.

Then I'm like, I just, I was a sick kid for whatever reason. And anyway, so I kind of have this psychological thing. Even when I taste some vegetables and I'm like, This tastes fine. I still just kind of. of go back to, I'd rather not have it. I know what you mean because vegetables of, like, they are

like the least I mean, they're the least engaging, but they're not the best tasting by design. I mean, the most fanning shit is... Most of them, most of them are fine, though. That's the thing. Like, I had a huge thing fine, I didn't eat, I didn't eat

onions. I didn't eat, um, which I didn't eat, uh, uh, onions. They, I thought the wrong word. I didn't eat onions for a long time. I was really weird on peppers. I was really weird on like beans spouts like that for a long time. And then one day... Beans sprouts is weird to me

because they don't taste like anything. It's just like, uh, it's just for crunch, isn't it? It's a weird crunch in it to it for me. I was like, that's weird. But I started eating them recently

and I can't believe I didn't eat them before. I fucking love peppers. Like just raw peppers. I bought a raw pepper that I ate like two days ago. So I was just bored and I was like, I want to eat that.

I like bell peppers. Oh, like bell peppers. Like bell peppers. Like, yeah. Yeah. I just ate a raw pepper. I was like,

I love, I love bell peppers are great. to me because people say celery has such a fucking weird taste. It has a taste. I can taste. I have a taste. People tell me they can't. Celery celery tastes like water to me. Yeah, because it is like 98% water or something like that. I can taste celery.

It's like a watermelon without flavor. The thing, the thing is like, yeah, I don't know. I don't love vegetables, but if you know, I tend to just, I tend to try to have them. Just throw them in with everything and I'll eat it all together.

It's smart. But but but I will say like You'd be you'd be doing a great job if you were just eating If you were eating vegetables and taking those supplements Then you'd be fucking, Then you'd be fucking bawling So I mean the whole reason you'd take supplements is if you You're supposed to supplement, right?

If you don't actually get the stuff that you get in you Like me since if I if I were like a motherfucking salad eater Then I wouldn't take this shit I love salads too which is weird But I like it dry I like dry. I told Chris this before, because you've seen me eat dry salads before. I love dry salads.

No, no, no, no, no, hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Let me tell you this because I've, I, I also, well, like, when I have salads, I also have dry salads. I love it. I just got some chicken, some dry ass chicken. It's not that I love it. It's, no, you know what?

You know what it is? You know what it is? It's not even that I love it. It's just like, this is purely healthy. This is just so. is purely as a means to an end. This is not here for me to enjoy. This is not here for me to savor.

This is, this salad functions as a means for me to get what I need for the day. Right. So I'm not going to drench it in fucking all these like flavorful additives just to try to trick myself into thinking that I'm eating something delicious. Also that's like, and also the assumption is too that like, oh, if you're putting more flavor into your food, it's technically making it less healthy because there's like sugar and all That is absolutely true.

Especially, most people get most of their calories from liquids. They don't even know that shit. Like, when I see people eat fucking, let's say, for example, they're eating chicken. There's just a little light breading on it. And then they have five sauces with it. I'm like, you just drank a thousand calories. Yeah. You just like, yeah.

That's the thing. I have to get rid of every sugar-based drink because that's how it gets you. That's what gets you literally is your beverages. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low... Listen.

So we sat there. Listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's. It's your happy place. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do

if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. So like is soda like I like I like I like I like soda I try to drink what I mean do but I sugar free I've look I've gotten to the point where I've there's so many different type of alternatives there's stevia there's sucralose there's aspartame there's potassium case there's so many different kinds now that you can find one that actually tastes really good to you um I like

stevia just because it's plant based it's like stevia's a plant um so I like that and it's uh zero calories thing is I used to be a little wary and scared of a lot of the sugar-free shit because I heard so many different like Alex Joan type of theories. But I'm an, I'm a, my brain works now. And now I can see research from real doctors. I'm like, no, it's fine, bitch. Or for me, simply this idea is

I have like a bit of juice. Like, I like orange juice a lot. Like, probably too much. But I have some juice. Aren't so acidic, man. It doesn't bother me at all anymore, which is crazy. Later on, it's going to get me. It's going to get, I'm going to have acid reflex. I'm going to have it. Because I love orange juice.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. It's fucking great. It's great. It's so good. What was the original? Why did we start talking about food? Well, the question was like kind of, what's a childish dish that you still like really enjoy? I just kind of thought of one.

Pizza bagels ramen. Yeah, I guess. For me, for me, genuinely, just a plain fucking grill cheese. Just like buttered bread. Right. With like just normal, just child ass American cheese. fucking with like the brown like the bread gets like a little brown

but like not too burnt and like the cheese is melted there's no real nutritional value in that it's literally just carbs and dairy but I I love I could probably I could eat a fuck load of grilled cheese they're so good I love grilled cheeses yo I want you guys to do something I don't know if you guys have a

I don't know if you have a raisin canes around your area I just got popping all over the West Coast I got raising canes yesterday all right so check this out. So you get the number four, whatever, that comes with like four of them. You replace your slaw, because who the hell likes that shit? You get an extra Texas toast. Now, you take those two pieces of Texas toast you got. You get your cheese at home, you fucking make yourself a grilled cheese with that shit. Because they're Texas toast, I don't know what drugs they put in them. That's the best piece of toast I've ever had in my fucking life. So good. Like, I prefer to go to racing

canes for the toast and fuck the chicken. The chicken's fine. But that toast is something else. Texas toast in general, like in most places that I've had it, is fucking... It's so good. What is it? I don't know what... I don't know what the hell. Because I had Texas toast at this place called Texas Roadhouse in New York.

And I was like, what the fuck is this? This is crack. Like, whatever this is. No, it's just bread. Whenever you go to an American restaurant, they have bread, bro. It always goes bananas. I'm like, why is it so good? You're right.

I remember, I remember where you, No, you weren't friends with us at this time, but there was a period of time when, like, during high school where me and Jalen and a bunch of other friends of ours would go to Outback for the bread. Because they had this, because they had the brown, they had like the real, the bread came out hot and it was, and it was brown and it was like kind of,

I think it was Pumpernickel. I'm not super sure. It might have been rye. It might have been rye or something. No, no, no, no, no. Those aren't sweet breads. It's not right. It's not right.

But I know what you're talking about. Oh, that's sweet. Oh, man. It was that outback. I remember that. I'm going to fucking Outback now because I want to know what the kind of the bread is.

I want to go... Wait, I know exactly what you're talking about. Does it have the oats on top of it? Was it the brown bread that had the oats on top of it or something? Or am I thinking of something different? Yes. They don't...

Look at the picture. They don't have the oats at Outback. They don't have the oats at Outback. But like I have had bread that's basically the same with the oats that tastes basically the same. So I think it's just a different type

of the same bread. But I... It says... It's Pumpernickel. is that what it says? I think it's... I'm seeing different things. Honey and molasses wheat bread roll.

That might be what it is. Maybe. I don't know. Whatever they have... Again, this is over 10 years ago, so this might not even be applicable anymore. But... I want some bread when we're done with this shit.

That shit was... Yeah, I'm going to make myself a cruise. I'm going to get better after this because I need to eat some food. Let's go. Yeah, yeah. All right. Well, let's see.

Let's do... Let's do maybe... Get one more. We got one more for I die. For I die from this heat. It's so hot in here. I'm shining. I'm shining.

You're a little glistening. I'm dying. We'll do one more. Just get naked, bro. Just get naked. I can't. I have no pants on already. Oh, okay.

Patreon exclusive. Ginger ripping ball sweat up to the floor. Ginger mutant Ninja Turtle wrote in. He says, hey there, Star Tank. Some people I know physically recoil at hearing the word moist. Like someone just licked their ear. Similarly, I hate Pruning?

Oh, like when your fingers get fucking pruning? I think that's what he's talking about. That shit's fucking, yeah. A little, do you, do you lovely lads have any similar intense hatred for really small or minor things? Yes, and I don't know what happened. I have no recollection to why this happened.

I never used to have a problem with this for most of my life. When I hear people brushing their teeth with their mouths open, I cringe so much that, like, I feel like I want to die. I don't know what happened. The only thing I can think of is at some point in my life, I switched exclusively to electric toothbrushes, so I don't hear that sound anymore when I brush at all. And I think maybe that's it.

Because when I hear people, when that, and I'm like, ah, fuck, stop. Close your fucking mouth. I don't know. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me. I don't know what happened, dude. I hate it. I'm trying to think of something irrational.

because I really think moist is just, it's fine. It's because the word's fine. It's just what it's, like, say, for example, someone who doesn't speak English, you say moist to them, they're like, whatever. But then when you think about something actually moist, when you think about, like, soggy.

Like, soggy. I know what I hate. I just can be real, fucking rude. But I hate squeaky voice women. Give it an example. Just like really fucking high-hitched, squeaky voice-gris.

Oh, like the really high-hitched squeaky voice. Martia shots fired at Martia and shots fired at a Dunkie's wife Shots fired at a No shade to her she's fantastic Like 40% of women Probably

I like I like girls with like deep-ass voices I like Molly Cyrus is like smoky voice Like she's been smoking for 40 years And she's only like 30 I like that too I mean women I love them No I'm glad

I'm glad you said that Derek Because I like the I like that too that that that uh i don't even know what what you would call i don't know if it's a smokiness or like mali's voice there's something about uh there's something about that that slight rasp that i do and i do like when i hear yeah i don't what the hell kind of voice is just like hi i'm uh i'm lily well lily's voice is like very stank i don't even like lily's voice in all fairness but

hola so lily oh my stas no Oh, I don't really, I don't, I don't, I don't, el homo, too. Wait, what would you say, too? How would you say you're a homo? Two is homo. To as you. Yeah. You is gay.

You is gay. You is gay. You is gay. Is that you are? Tu er is omo. You don't pronounce the age. But would you actually use the, would you, would you say, putto? That would be the correct thing to say?

Putto, yeah. Putto means. No, it means, it's the F word. Oh, but that's like, is that the F would? Is that what, is that an equivalent? Well, putta, put that means kind of, it means a lot of things technically. Because the thing is that that's, that's a word that changes between languages. Because, okay.

My friends that are Salvadorian, they call to the puto, and that means, like, idiotic, silly, like idiot, like stupid. Hmm. But then my Puerto Rican family members. The way that, the way that, the way that, the way that I grew up with it was, was, was, was, The way that I grew up with it was more like it was like it was like bitch or pussy. Yeah. Like the idea was like it was like it was basically like an emasculating like you're a, you're a, you know, like you're a less of a man. So like you're a pussy, you're a bitch.

You're gay. No, no, no. It doesn't mean gay. It doesn't mean gay. It means gay. It doesn't mean gay, but it means gay. You know what I mean? It means gay in the same way that pussy meant gay when you were like when you were in high.

school. I remember it now because now I'm thinking back to my childhood and what the kids would always be saying. Um, it's the word, uh, um, uh, uh, I, I remember a lot of people saying binchy, hoot. Bichi Hoto. You remember that? I have never heard. I've never heard that. That's very as, as, as it's met you can, you can, you can tell that it's Mexican because it's very long, uh, even though it could be a lot shorter. It's like saying, well, it's like saying you F and F. It's like very, it's very, I think it's very, I know,

it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's very vo-sotros of them. Mexicans are like, ah, let me actually be like,

stop, it's, this is really offensive. They don't say nozotros either. No one says that. You, you say nosotros in reference to the fact that it exists.

You say no in the fact, in the same, like when you're, when you're talking about multiples are you describing it to people. You say Los Otros.

It's the only time you say that phrase. I hate that word. I think the only time I've heard someone say that was literally when Brian and family guy was trying to speak Spanish to this guy on the train. They're like hitchhiking or something. Oh yeah. And he's like,

and he's like, go ahead. You can just say me. I'm O'Brien. You can just say me. I'm O'Brien. And he's like, oh, you speak English?

It's like, nah, just that sentence and the sentence explaining it or whatever. I love... Are you serious? That's a good joke. That's a good joke. That's a classic joke. That's a classic joke.

That's a good joke because, again, it's also not clever at all. Like, it's just, I don't know, man. But as far as, like, I don't know, a little... I'm trying to think of, like, irrational things. Because there are things that I hate that I think are entire, like, teeth scraping against a fork or whatever, like... Or, like, metal straws for the same reason. But, like, or even paper straws.

Like, the... Paper straws is the blight on humanity. Right. But I think the most irrational one, the one that's like, the one that, the one that is on the same level of moist. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen.

So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. 1. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 316. Wow, Dan Morgan from Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for thepeople.com for an office near you. In that it's just kind of irrational to me is that I despise. I don't like the idea that an establishment could sell burgers and not have bacon on the burgers. That to me is like insane.

And I just, I hate it. I hate in and out for that reason. I will never get in and out. Well, Well, it's about as, it's about as logical as the moist thing to me. I understand your,

and the reason why that's, because that's my favorite, because that's my favorite type of burger. I would never get a plain burger. I would never get, I would never get, you know, a patty with meat and another patty.

I would never get a patty with meat and just cheese and another patty. To me, it's just like a bacon burger is like the bare minimum of something that you could have while, I don't know, like, No other burger that is...

I totally understand you and I understand why they don't do it just because they're so fucking successful without adding another ingredient which upsets me because it doesn't feel like I would because a bacon burger and that would be the pinnacle

of flavor to me just because I really like their patty like it's very flavorful to me. Yeah, it's a good patty. But the thing is it's like, but you could also, the thing that makes it stand out to me is that you can get a bacon burger

literally everywhere else. But literally. You can get in a cabin. Five guys. McDonald's, Burger King, every single other place has it. And a lot of these places, though, that's the thing,

because I'm a very, I'm a proponent of, I want to taste the patty. So I'll first get a plain ass cheeseburger so I can just taste the meat and the cheese and the bread. I want to know, is the bread taste good,

your cheese, those are the three, and then everything else is interchangeable. But if you don't have that down, I don't fucking want to fuck with their shit. Ed. McDonald's, for example,

pisses me off what their baking because it's too fucking crispy usually so it just falls apart like it needs to have a little bit of softness and a little bit crispy there's like a balance they're bacon usually because i'll try to get a bacon burger for mcdonalds right and then it's just so crispy that it just crumbles and i like ah like you're you're what are you doing what do you do i really i i i will say i really like crispy bacon but like it kind of i don't hate it because i like bacon that's gross i like crispy bacon i like crispy bacon when it's n't i i know what you mean i like crispy bacon when it's not in a burger yes i like if

having if I'm if I if I if I if I if I'm having like eggs and bacon and like a like a like a like a biscuit or something I want that bacon to be crispy as fuck I like I like I agreed mind you but crispy I don't want it to bend too much but in a burger I would agree that it had it should be a lot more because I don't know something about eating bacon by itself and it's like fucking flaccid it's like a sad sight but I mean it better be cut all the way through god damn but that's all I'm saying like you cook that I don't like burgers that much and I and I'm more of a chicken sandwich they're not my favorite they're not they're not my favorite but if I'm going to get a burger I'm going to get a bacon cheese burger you know what I mean like that's that's that's my default burger and to me it's like

it's just such a simple thing that adds so much and it's I I know what you mean Derek when you're talking about like getting a plane burger I do kind of the similar thing with uh when I go to a place I always order like lemonade because I feel like how could you fuck up I like that it's such a basic yo people fuck up lemonade all the time I know I know I know and the places the places that fuck up their lemonade I know to just I'll trust I'll get I'll get my own drink from somewhere else. You just said, don't fucking fuck them. People fuck up.

If they're lemonade sucks, their sodas flat. Their fucking milkshakes sucks. Dad sucks. Dick, fuck you, man. That's why I get bean and cheese burritos to every Mexican food joint I go to. Because beans and cheese, if you can't get that right, your meat's going to be fucking garbage. I always go with a chicken, chicken cassidia. Oh, that's a safe two.

For similar reasons. The thing for Mexican place, if you go there, and the carne Asada is bad. You leave. That's it. You get one. You get one of a sada taco. All right.

Just fuck you all because I'm getting really hot. Yeah, it's time to eat, dude. We're going to end this episode. I am salivating. I had to swallow spit like three times already. What if I pushed my hair down and water came out? Sweat came out of it because I sweat not much. That'd be outraged.

That is disgusting That is My bedroom's 143 degrees I'm dying That's a son right there How's the How's the air in your new place?

Oh my God Central Air Have you seen Have you Well so does Well not I guess that place doesn't This place

This place is the opposite Of Central Air in fact Air doesn't go anywhere This place It's a fucking vacuum It's a fucking oven It's an oven. All right.

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It means a lot. $1 a month gets you access to early episodes and access to bonus solo episodes. $5 gets you a question that's Joe. What are you doing?

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and that's one payment and you're in for good. $25 gets your question dyslexically right at the end of the show which I will now do Sweeney count me down. Three two, one. Nikki Ziggy, rectal lacerator the emoticons that are doing this that I can't pronounce

because it's impossible. I farm horses for their milk. Sweeney loudly screaming the N-word in my dead silent ninth grade English class because my headphones unpaired. Storm Boys, life, and what he like. Why is there so much Rule 34 of Spider-Man

fucking Lucina from Fire Emblems? Seriously, what the fuck? Look it up. I mean, that makes about as much sense as the Spider-Man and Elsa's stuff from back Oh my God, bro. Why was that so popular? It was mind-blowing. Elsa and Spider-Man were like canonically buddies. It was insane or something.

Was that even? No, because Spider-Man isn't even Disney. No. So that's even weirder. Like, I thought at least

maybe they had that Marvel connection, but no, it's just entirely, it's got to be like 4chan or something. Like, just one of those threads

that just did it. You know, they do everything. Oh, yeah. Everything weird. It's always them. It's so funny because people,

people like talk about, like, the deep state and like conspiracy theories, I guarantee you every bad thing that's ever happened could be tracked down

to some guy on 4chan starting shit by accident. Yeah. Your note, Yeah, you remember that freebleeding thing? Right. Yeah. That was all, that was all for free bleeding was like women being like, we don't fucking care, man.

Oh my God. Oh, my God. Oh, I know what you're talking. Never mind. I get it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was all, that was all a fucking fortune thing.

Fucking fortune. Uh, your noble truth. I have no urethra and I must come. Uh, I eat my boogers because they taste like my favorite jelly bean flavor. Bougars. That's so stupid. That's a deep. Fuck.

Fuck traveling overseas. I'm traveling into her ovaries. Mojave Scribe, Elsie Bray's pyramid scheme, aka drip MPH, or MH. Nancy Pelosi killing a Palestinian with her massive tits. Obi-Wan chabloomy, a fukin pran. Glasses are just real-life FOV slider. Zach, cool number.

Never mind, Sweeney, I just realized you have swamp ass. I'm coming for Chris's butt instead. XOXO, Big Papa Shack. Jesus fucking Christ. Tevin de Black, Kremlin de Gremlin, Binkus Stinkis, George Hardar Martin Yes, Harder, Sweeney Nice looking black man

P.S. Chris, your mom is hot. Thanks. Damn. Very weird. Mitch McConnell's tortoise... Hey man, I don't know. Mitch McConnell's tortoise shell. St. Maxi from the makers of they them pussy. It's they them come.

All's the wall. You said it right. Mega Man X8 guy and I'm out of funny battle network things to say. Avi. Welcome to Andrew Tate's Kidnapped Women and Little Dick Emporium Fragile Masculinity sold separately Hey, it's me

Hey, it's me Elvis the Alien I lied about having fun You guys are boring and gay Can you imagine I can't imagine Elvis literally doing this He makes an hour video You think he would pay $25 just to say that Wage Slave 583

Long Schlong McGahn I feel gay Fuck you. Before he could react, Sonic was on his knees, pulling his pants down, revealing his cock. Sonic froze, heart pounding, staring. Dead inside. The Pepini Brothers Emporium of Bullet-filled Uncles. Shrinkus Funkledunk, the warlock who is using transversive steps.

Oh no, the list totally just crashed. Well, that's the end. Thanks for listening, everyone. Nice try. Parapologics aren't people because people are bipedal. I got my glasses off, but I wear contacts. Parentheses, I can still see. That's just a fact about a person.

I have PPSD. Fun fact. A palindrome. is a word or name that reads the same backwards and forwards. Imagine, imagine being named Regina. Have a nice day. Damn.

God damn it. That's so dumb. Tell him Steve Dave. Antifus Maximus. Weilder of the enchanted bike lock. God is dead because Amber heard shat in his bed. John Strickland, Sweeney has so much chuckster energy.

How has he not chucked Chris into the abyss? Chuckster? Merck. Yeah, like you throw things. You're not to throw things? I'm a dropper. Downy McFrowny. Merck's 1889.

I'm a drop. Drop shit. Alternate universe Sweeney, where he's the same in every way, except he's also a big Reagan supporter. The oddly sexual moaning of the biometric scanner on solar opposites. I have the first church of Keith David, not gay,

just topping the first church of America to assert dominance. Baby Simba getting ran over by a red 2003 silver. with a flared red bed and extended calf. Is that something that you guys did on stream? No, no, no, that's just, that's just so specific. That's what I thought was something you guys made up or something. No. Pree-Raz, drunken Doolahan, ain't that a kick in the dick?

Blake 896, Ryan Lucchese, Sloshy scout, Maximus Sussis, the brother of Sussis totalis and son of impostis amongus. Fuck you. Depraved McBooty warrior. Bada, bad, bad booty. Chris has a high voice for a lesbian, back and no longer on crack. Alaskan oil field trash. Marcus Shorten.

Sue Hulk. Game controller, 25. Danny DeVito's draconian return. Oh, hey, it's been a while. Marcus penis and his hammer of tongue. Lobotomized Jesus and his merry band of figurenagets. The loathsome cum eater. The non-binary.

in cell who accidentally clicked on Tumblr in 2009 and now I wear thigh highs and hate. That's where it ends. What? Yeah, it cuts off. Sorry if there's more. The only stick I touch while driving is my penis parenthesis. I mess with driving. Wasn't escalation but a brief moment of levitation.

Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, comes on my tummy. Jackson Ab sage, Badly Brave. Huggardark the movie theater manager, Aetherian. Chris Gate, my pejorian hunting ass to save our mother earth from alien attack from vicious giant insects that have once again come back. God. And once again, and the one true king of haphazard except no substitutes. That's, that's, that's, that's him. Wait, that's, he changed his name. Oh, shit. The one true, the one true king of haphazard, except no substitute. Let's go. You should have changed it to my suggestion, you know? Maybe he will. Yeah,

anyway, hope he does. That's going to be it for us today. It's almost three hours we've been at this. It's time to get some toast. It didn't feel that long, but I'm about to make like 10 grilled cheese. It felt long when we started talking about food. Yeah. That's when I was like, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

The second. I was like, oh shit, yo, I'm hungry. Goodbye. All right. We're out of here. We're out of here. Bye. Bye.

Hail sweetie. Our new Nazi overlord. Hi, this is Danielle Robey, the host of bookmarked by Reese's book club, a podcast by Hello Sunshine and I Heart Podcast. I'm partnering with Simple Mills and I've just found my new go-to reading snack, Simple Mills' almond flour crackers. Think of this as a quick book style review because these crackers deserve it. The premise, a snack that feels light, not heavy.

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