The Snark Tank - #130: Sweeney Is Baking Alive In His Room

Episode Date: October 31, 2022

Matthew Perry vs Keanu Reeves and Sweeney converted his room into an oven.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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A simple urine test called UACR. If you have type 2 diabetes or high blood pressure, talk to your doctor about the UACR test. Detect the SOS. Visit Detect thesos.com to learn more. Click and collect. Order confirmed. Dad, tomorrow can we start a band? Can we become robots?

Affirmative. Can we go crab battling? That isn't a thing. How about swimming? Dad, can we take a nap? You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal. Deal. While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials.

Book your free click and collect slot at tesco.e or in-app. Tesco, every little helps. Terms and conditions apply. Hey everybody. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to the Snark Tank podcast. Episode, whatever this is. I have no idea. But you'll see this. So it won't matter. You'll see it in the bottom corner or the top corner. Wherever Spotify puts it, I don't know. I don't know anymore. Whoever MySpace puts it.

Yeah. Wherever. Wherever. I forget the Friendster layout because I never used it. What's Frunster? That was the thing before MySpace. Yeah. Or like, I think it was like simultaneous. Uh, I can't remember exactly what the situation. You heard of the, you were heard of the Mexican Myspace?

Amigos? No, it was called Moco space. No fucking way. Moko? Yeah. What's a moco mean like, um... I mean, as far as I knew, I thought I meant mucus, but... Yeah, like moccos on your face, like boogers.

That's what I thought. Yeah. You know, let me see if it still exists. Moco space. Moco's more Mexican, so you probably don't know what the fuck we're talking about, Chris. Yeah, no.

You're probably like, I don't know, fucking, dude, speaking of fucking, speaking of Spanish outlet out of the fucking blue, I was on the phone with my grandma's cousin.

She is from rural Puerto Rico. So she's from very deep inland. If there's a deep inland in Puerto Rico, it's so fucking tiny. But she said, Hugo de China What is that?

Orange juice? Yes That is not orange juice at all You were all And what made it crazy Is that all of my relatives Were Puerto Rico on the phone

And we were all like What did you say? Oh, that's funny That's racist How is it racist? Yeah, because it's like yellow juice I guess because A lot of oranges

came from China. Sounds like that. And it's Mandarin. I guess like the Mandarin orange. Uh, Hugo de China. That's fucking funny as fuck.

Nobody drinks Mandarin orange juice. But no, but you know, but like, you know how there's orange like, like Mandarin chickens like orange chicken? I assume that's why they said it. Nonetheless,

I was confused because the worst Spanish speaker there and that call was me. And I know it's not that at all. And she was like, what? She was like, what? that's how you say it

and she was like And I was like How do you say? I was like Yeah It's it's it's notanga And she was like Yes

But like We say chinas And I'm like What That is Well I look If you look up Hugo de China

It is orange juice Like without any Without any Confusion at all It is orange juice I guess But I've never It's like people saying

Discople Instead of Compermiso It's like What? People say that for real? Let me see. Okay.

Have you ever heard? I'm on Ask Reddit R slash Ask Latin America. It says, have you ever heard of Hugo de China? In Puerto Rico, we refer to our orange juice as Hugo de China. And it's very rare to say Hugo de Naranha. Have you ever heard of this term before? And somebody says, in the Dominican Republic, we call sweet oranges china and sour oranges Naranha. That's great.

I've never, I just never heard it like that. That's why we were all like in all we were like what are you talking about auntie? Yeah, because that makes sense in the US the small sweet oranges are mandarin and the larger ones are just oranges. So it is like more of a literal more of a little they come from China. So you call it Chinas. That's so interesting. I was I was we were all the whole call went silent because none of us her not to mention she was a bit older. She's like my grandma's younger cousin and then it's all like grandkids and like nieces and nephews.

You were all like, what are you talking about? I think my grandmother used to say this, but it's been so long. Yeah, mine too. It's all right, Derek. You're perfectly fine the way you are, man. Sorry, let's stop having the Latin tank. Let's have the American tank so you don't feel left out. My bad, bro.

Can somebody make a Spanish version of the intro song? I don't even know how you would even do that. Yo soy. I don't even know. So it's a mortal meme. Yeah, I don't think meme has a, does meme have a, there's no way meme has a translation. Meme. Yeah, no, I'm sure it just Meme.

Meme. Meme. Yeah, it would just be Meme or something. But, uh, yeah, so, uh, it, we're a little out of sorts right now, out of order. Uh, we did, we had some, we had some technical difficulties, uh, as we seem to always have. Uh, too many, too much, uh, what is that that you're drinking? Too much incredible. Too much incredible Hulk, bro, right there.

You know what Incredible Hulk is? Henny and hypno. You put the hypnotic and then he put the henny together. And he got yourself an Incredible Hulk, baby. That's not what you're drinking right now. Is that what you're drinking right now? No, he's doing a pre-workout or some shit. Is that like an ecto cooler?

Yeah, it's like it's my cool. It's my car's coolant. No, ecotel cooler was really. There's someone chugging coolant. Can you imagine? Guzzling that shit there inside the freezing. Wait, wait, am I crazy? Was ecto cooler, not green?

It sounds like it would be green. It's ecto cooler. Is it the green or blue? It was a high sea. A high sea ecto cooler. I don't know that one. Either green or blue. Yeah, it was green.

Yeah, that looked exactly. It was a little bit more pale, though. It was more like Nickelodeon slime than green screen green. I feel like this is dangerous because you could literally like, you know, put a little bit of cooling in somebody shit and they would have no idea. Somebody. Of course you can do that,

but people are demons, you know? Somebody in the community edit green screen his drink to be, I don't know, something, make it something. Make it something that only you would find funny, so we're just baffled by it.

Like a goblet of like, I don't know, penises. Yeah, yeah, make it like a million penis. Like a goblet full of, like, this is when the penises

came out of the fucking. It was like a shrimp cocktail, but it's dicks. Replace his drink with the texture like a really high definition texture of close up skin. Oh, gross. Yeah, that's such a gross pose. Oh, gross.

All right, fucking, what do we got? A skin. So, nobody that we're aware of has died yet, although I'm sure tomorrow somebody important will die. So we're just going to save, you know, next episode is definitely going to be a, oh, you said nothing happened this week. But something crazy happens. It always is that way.

I think Joe Budden died, actually. Joe Budden? He's not dead. He's not dead. I've been checking. I have a heart monitor attached to Joe Button just in case. Every time somebody tweets about him, I look at it just to make sure he's dead, but he's not dead yet. Do you remember, do you ever hear about those kill switches or a dead man switch where it was like... The whistleblower type shit or what?

Yeah, the idea of like, oh, someone's heart rate is attached to a thing and when it goes away... Something activates. I don't know. A bomb goes off or like a... like an email goes out or something. That's so dumb. Is that real? Like is that possible?

I'd assume maybe if like you hook them up to it directly, like directly, directly, directly, directly. See, see, the thing about the thing is real. No, but that's what I mean. It's like, it doesn't seem, it seems fantastical. It seems like a ridiculous thing, but also in comparison to some of the, some of the things that are currently real, things like AI art feel. Like AI, like making perfect art to me feels a lot stranger than, oh yeah, a heart rate monitor attached to an email address. Really?

And yeah. And AI making a woman. Because we already have watches that are monitoring our heart rate all the time. Right. You know, I'm sure there's something you can do to trigger a response like that. Okay, it's not out of the realm of possibility. It's possible. I'll put it this way.

I'll put it this way. I feel like Michael Reeves, if given like a month, could figure that out. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I believe that. It doesn't seem out of the realm of possibility to me. Yeah. No,

I agree that you could probably program something to where when there is no more pulse, it'll trigger to send something or whatever. Something like that. Bro, I've seen videos of robots through obstacle courses, bro. That shit will fuck your night up. Oh, dude, Boston Dynamics, man. They're going to kill us all.

It's insane. Like, I don't think that's ever going to happen. whole robot's murdering us thing. I think that's going to probably be like, oh, there's just going to be no jobs for people that don't have like extremely specialized like fields. That's going to what's happen. But like seeing a robot do absolute course better

than anyone you know can do it will fuck your night up. Robot obstacle course. Like just jumping from board to board and then like jumping down something and then climbing up something. It's like that's a robot. Great flips, perfect balance. And then other companies

are making Boston Dynamic type robots. and then they're, of course, they're putting guns on them and shit. Of course. Because the military was solvating. It's like, fuck, yeah, let's go. Did you see that one? If we don't send people, how are people going to die? Did you guys see that one where it was literally just,

it wasn't even like a fully souped up Boston Dynamics robot with a gun. It was just a gun with legs and it was just running around. What? That is so insane. Like a schoolhouse rock type gun where it's like a gun actually. with eyes and arms like a little squiggly squinty arms

like I'm a gun I shoot people I thought that's what you were doing I'm just a gun I just kill people Texans won't put me down you can carry us out in the open now because they did that law

and now a kid's gonna take me in school and the cops aren't gonna come in there to help out because they're pussies that is that really happened man like I forget about that sometimes

because it feels like every week or like every like in the span of three weeks some like earth shattering thing happens or like there's like 50,000 things

happening every day so it's hard to remember but that like that feels like years ago but it was like like maybe three months like if that even it was like before the summer

ended it doesn't feel real to me man It feels unbelievable that the cops really didn't do even go on there. That there were hundreds of them there. That's the thing that I don't play. With riot shields. They had riot shields. Imagine hundreds versus one bitch-ass 18-year-old.

And it doesn't my brain, it just, that's why I feel like it does feel like ages because it just seems like some, ah, somebody made that shit up because it's just too stupid. It's too stupid. Two of the most horrific ones that I remember personally happened. It was like the one in Buffalo where there's. guy with the N-word on his gun went around shooting people. And what made it funny is that people were trying to be like, it's not about racism. I'm like, bro, he had the N-word embroidered on his blade.

You can't entertain those people. Like, the fact that that argument reached more than maybe three people, people were like, yeah, you know, it's, you're making it small than what it is. It's like, oh, yeah, it's over. That's like, but that's like people. That's like, yeah, it's over. we're gonna lose. That's like people who are like,

oh man, I didn't know rage against the machine was so political, you know, like there's no reaching those people. Those are like the Dunning Kruger types.

You just don't, you can't fuck with them. You can't fuck with them. They're, they're, the fact that there are more than zero saddens me. That's all it is.

Is it the fact that there's like, someone, you can hear someone say that and you'll just be like, you're kidding, right? And they'll be like, no,

what? Raid against someone. Bulls on parade? What is that about? It's like, it's about bulls Are you listening to the I thought they were a whimsical band

Singing about happy little bulls And robots Throwing a little party I thought gorilla radio I thought guerrilla radio was about Donkey Kong having a radio station I don't know Like that was political

The beginning where he's fucking dancing In Donkey Kong country Like that it's literally that A song about the fucking intro Then he brings his boombox and shit I just learned that cranky Kong is the original Donkey Kong Yeah, cranky Kong is DK from the Mario games Yeah, I didn't know that

Oh, from like the first one? Yeah And then Donkey Kong we know is Donkey Kong Jr. And then his baby's junior junior, junior. I got to be real, I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I just found that out just a little while ago. I had 64 and I opened a little book

a little manual and it said that. And I was like, oh, shit. I was like, oh, that's crazy. Oh, man, when I was about that age, I did not read those things. I just like, oh, the art's awesome. And I wouldn't read anything that it said. That was me with comics.

I loved the manual. In the beginning of my life, I would just like see pictures and comics. And then my uncle would like tell me that there are stories there. And I'm like, what's a story? If I look at these words and decipher them, it'll tell me a story. And I started reading comics.

are like five or six. But for a long time, I didn't, I didn't understand that you could, like, I didn't understand a story could be conformed to you in any form other than you watching it for a little bit. That's the easiest way to absorb it. I remember being a kid and not being good at reading and certain things that I didn't understand. So it was hard to read comics. I remember, I knew the word hell, but I didn't know he will was H-E-aposher-B-L-L.

So, like, for example, I remember. there's this guy overkill in the Spawn comics. Oh my God. Yeah. And he's like, and he just has this one line where he's just says, he'll pay. And I didn't understand. I was like, what does hell pay mean? What does he mean? Like, hell pay? I didn't get it. And then I had to be like

explained. I'm like, oh, I'm a fucking idiot dude. Like it was basically hard reading some stuff. Those were the good days, man. Just being like a stupid like just dumb kid. It's a stupid little fucking snot-nosed idiot. Just not knowing. anything and not understanding how stupid you are either. That's my, really, really.

That was my favorite part because I was like, I'm dumb, like, whatever. I had that for a little bit, but I, uh, I think I became very, very hyper aware of how limited my intelligence was, like, really early on. It was like very unfortunate, because I feel like I had at least like another four to five years of being blissfully ignorant. And then just like, oh, you know, I, I can't grasp. this because I literally am not ready. And I understand that.

That sucks. That was me at like nine when my grandpa passed. Like that was like, I was like, oh, things, things are going to change for real now. Yeah. Like when you experience that first, for me, it was like when I was seven. So like, when you, when you have like that, that grow up moment, like too early, it's like, it sucks. Because then you're just like, you go to school and that everybody's like, I don't know what that is yet. And you're coping.

And you're just sitting there being like, and you're just sitting there being like, is this. This is this all there is? I remember being, I remember being seven years old in school and thinking like, is this all there is? I remember thinking that. I was, like, as a child, just, fuck. I was never, I was never that grim. I was kind of just like, oh, things can change. And I can't change the fact that they're going to change.

And I kind of came to peace with it. But like, I knew some people that were like, my sister could not come the piece with that. Like, when she lost my mom when she was like 12. she could not come the piece with that fact. She was like, I can't accept the fact that I'll lose people other than my mom, like my other people. And it's just like,

damn, bro, you're going to have really hard life. And now my grandma's older and sick, and it's literally reappearing in her. Like, she's breaking down again. And it's like, yo,

you got to deal with this, dude. You have kids. That's a really pivotal age for that to happen, though, to be fair. Like 12 is crazy. for that to happen.

Like, because that's, like, right when, because that's, that's, that's when you're just complete, your just brain is out of whack already.

So like, that's when the motor starts running incorrect for you. So you just like go through. Because yeah, because being a teenager, though like teenagers suck. They are the worst, they're the worst state of a person as a teenager.

Unless you stay shitty, then you, adult, you can be a way worse adult than the teenager, but usually everyone is shitty-ish in their shittiest phase as a teenager, you know? And like, having,

like, as much as they see, suck, you got a lot going on at that period of time. Like, there's a lot of patches and updates and then re-releases and then repatches going through in that brain of a teenager, you know, like, as much as I hate them and they annoy me. It's not going on. When you're a teenager, you are launched day, cyberpunk 277. Yeah, you know, like you're trying to hate it, bro.

You're bugging out, like, things don't make sense. Nothing, bro. Why? But. Fucking backed up with cum, you know, like, cyberpunk. same shit, you know. Yeah. Great analogy.

I remember being just fucking confused that other people didn't understand what death was. Like that blew my mind. But I guess like seven years old, you don't really think about that. But it's it. It was also like 2001. So then 9-11 happened immediately after us. I was like, oh, this is a bad place to be. Like this is not a good, this is not Dragon Ball Z whimsical.

Like, ooh, I can get strong if I fight enough. Like, this is just like a bad place. You can get back home on Snake Way. That's crazy. Because your experience in that level was fear. Mine was just upsetness. It's like, come on. Mine wasn't fear.

Mine wasn't fear. Mine was just like, wow, that's, those are two pretty big whammies in a row. Also, like, I probably, it took a while before I was comfortable going on a plane again. Like, sincerely. Because it was just like very, it was just very weird to, that that was possible. I think that like that. Did brown people with turbans terrify you? No.

It wasn't brown people. It was just the fact that that was possible with a plane. Like, I just didn't think that that was... I feel like a terrible person. I feel like a terrible New Yorker and American because I didn't give a flaming fuck about that. It is inconvenienced to my life directly, so I was upset. I didn't give a shit.

I didn't give a shit that the country was scared. I didn't give a shit that like people flew into this monument, his landmark, and it blew up. I was just like, come on, dude. Like, whatever. The only thing I did notice is that brown people got treated really badly for a while. That's one thing I noticed.

Like, all of my ARAB, all of my, like, Middle Eastern friends in school. Is it? I called them ARABS? I love it. I love it. I called them that because that's what they used to refer to each other as, which is really terrible. ARAB. But, like, they would all refer each other like that.

So I remember all of them getting treated really badly. And even as a little kid, I was just like, he's from here. He's not going to do anything to you. He plays. he plays dodgeballed me in class why are you calling him these mean things i don't think i had a i don't think i had a concept that there was even like when i learned that that had happened i i don't think i learned who did it like i don't think like anybody like said like oh it's these people for like my parents aren't ignorant assholes that's why my dad sat me down he was like he was like so

there's war is real i am in the military you know, it's complicated out there. I can't remember the exact speech, but it was like he just like, I just remember being like, I was like, ah, Dragon Ball is fun. And then immediately like, Chris, just so you know, there are people out there that will fly a plane into a building and kill people for no reason. They mean to hurt you, Chris. There are people that I mean harm you. It was, I don't know, man. That was such a fucking weird, especially because we were in, you know, New York.

I feel like it was obviously less of it. Like if you're in Wyoming, you don't give a fuck. Or maybe you extra care, like more than you should. You're probably care more because you probably. You're probably in such a tiny bubble you think they're after you next. They got my white friends. The Pentagon, me next. They're going to hit my farm.

Even though we hate New York all the time and make fun of it, we hate city people. But like we're going to pretend to care for this one moment because it helps me be racist in a justifiable way. The most country people. the most about this metropolitan blue state. Yeah, I mean, in New York now, it's funny.

Like, most people in New York just joke about it at this point. Like, it's, but... Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, it's one of those things, man. Yeah, what's the point? Well, the point is, there's a new sausage party, and that is the closest thing to 9-11.

That, uh... Whoa. Whoa. Hey. Sauces party, party, too, will hit harder than 9-11. Remember 9-11 The buildings look like weed sticks Heard sticks

His brain is so cooked He doesn't remember what a joint is Weed sticks Yeah can you pass me over a weed stick That is so gone That's a vessel right there man That's an empty vessels Do you remember those commercials of like the flat

People on the couch? Yeah Yeah That is that person That's like Bro, they had me afraid of smoking weed for a while, man. They had me for real scared because, like, most of my friends were smoking, like, 13. And I was just like, I ain't going to do this, man.

It's shit crazy. And then I smoked, and I was like, I definitely felt weird, but, like, I didn't deform. I didn't turn into a bed sheet person. Yeah, I just don't know who those commercials really, is this? I was like, is this actually working on anyone? To me, you know, especially the way that when you're, kids usually want to do what people are telling you not to do because it's like, ooh, that's juicy. If they're telling me not to do it, there must be something interesting about it.

And, you know, I didn't really get into drugs or anything. But still, those commercials at least maybe think that, I bet a lot of people are trying heroin or whatever. They're just, they're like, I want to get a hold of it now. Because like, don't do it. It's so bad for you. And they're like, well, let me find out. Yeah, every time I did meth, I was fine. afterwards.

Yeah, I don't know if you're serious to that. You know the funny thing is my friends like they heavily got into the punk scene because like in Orange County made a huge resurgence

and yeah, some of them used it's funny saying it they used meth recreationally. Like it was fine. Like everything there was no I've used meth like zero problems. Like I used meth last night

Well let's be real. Let's be real. Let's be real. Let's be real. there's like, what is it, Adderall has meth in it, or something like that. What is that, what is that, there's an ADHD medication that has meth,

like, literal methamphetamine. Well, a lot of speed is just like, yeah, low, is low tier meth. Yeah, so, I mean, obviously, obviously, though, probably shouldn't do meth. I wouldn't recommend it. I would find, though, like,

seriously, like, viewers who are listening to, I'm kidding, don't do meth. Sweetie, I would, I would, I would laugh. I would laugh. I'll be real with you. Like I'm, you know,

I try to be there for my friends and they tell me the important things. But like, if you came to be, sweetie, and you said, Chris, I've been on meth and I can't get off it. It would be difficult not to laugh at least a little bit.

I would still help you. Because it would be funny. Because it would be like, when? Yeah. That's the funniest part. It's like, Jalen.

I would be like, when did this happen? How? like who in our circle would have even remotely brought that to you What if I was like Lily? Lily helped me get on meth That would be believable entirely

You could believe that You hate her I'm not saying I could see Lily on meth I could see Lily hooking you on meth accidentally How explain this This is funny Explain this to me I think

You know I think maybe you guys are at a I don't know Kinsenera or something. Okay, of course. Mexican place, continue. Yeah. And, you know, it's California. There's a lot of people of various cultures, a lot of white people as well.

Maybe there's some white friends over there. And maybe, you know, they bring some meth to the Kinseniera. And maybe they're like, hey, Kingston, you want some? And you go like, nah, I shouldn't. And then Lily says, no, Kingston, don't do that. It's meth. And then you're like, fuck you, woman. I could do whatever I want.

That you do meth. And then you like it. and then and then that's that's what happens fuck you woman I can do whatever I want sounds like that doesn't sound like something you would say that's exactly something you would say it's not yet it's

you guys go to Halloween parties right you guys do some shit like that dude I don't give a fuck about Halloween actually I never have a Halloween I like the vibes I don't like the vibes I like how it's cold

it's getting a little darker the weather vibes not the Halloween the weather vibes I respect I respect I mean it To me, it's kind of synonymous. Like, as soon as I start seeing spooky, you know, quote unquote spooky things, you know, it's getting a little cooler. And then everybody's kind of like, I feel like, honestly, I feel like people are in a better mood around Halloween than they are during Christmas. A million percent.

The thing about this, right, Christmas is fake. Everyone's fake happy, bro. I fucking hate Christmas, bro. The emphasis is on fake. It was fake. Fake. Fake. That reminds you of like, you were what Dave Chappelle said the F-sler in that one comedy's funny?

You just shouts it. I think it's to have a gap in my teeth, that's why. So the F-can, you can start hearing it like a little fuse burning down before I say it. Christmas is fake. The thing about Christmas is this, right? I've worked in retail. We all did the retail grind during Christmas. And if you like Christmas, work retail one Christmas, you'll never feel the same about it again.

You will never have that same love for Christmas ever again. Because I worked retail for maybe six Christmases in my life. When Christmas comes, they put on this fucking annoying-ass Christmas records. That blare month around. You have to hear this dumb-ass people speaking about this holiday that one isn't about Jesus' birth. It's about pagans butt-fucking one another. Which, hey, bro, that's a vibe. Try it.

Try it. Honestly, it's kind of a vibe. But it's just the fakes air. And then people come in and they're stressed because everyone is doing their last minute shopping. Everyone has so much shit to worry about. People are spending their last week. Other people feel happy. It's a bunch of just shitty times for people.

And then it's such a gross time of the year. Not to mention that if Chris has become so matured, I sound like such a fucking white grad student that's like, I fucking hate the consumerism, but I really actually for real. hate that part of Christmas, dude. Well, yeah, you should. You should. A normal person should not feel obligated.

The idea of being obligated to get someone a gift already cancels it being a gift. A gift is not fucking supposed to be obligation. So if you're one of those people that feel like you need to get somebody something, need to, it's already kind of like, ah, like this isn't how a gift's supposed to work. A gift is supposed to be when somebody receives a gift, right? They feel like happy. Oh, thank you. I appreciate you got this for me.

Yeah, like you didn't have to do this. This makes it a gift. Otherwise, you're just kind of just giving somebody something that they're expecting. But the thing is this right. I respect the idea of gift giving because I've, because I've met very few people that give gifts out of the kindness of their heart for real.

Like for real, they'll give you a give because they just wants you to be happy. Lily is one of those few humans I've met that genuinely gives gifts and does not. care what she gets back. Yeah. She does. And that's how it's supposed to be.

But seeing other people just like I'm getting you a gift simply because I know you're getting me a gift. And I want something like, and dude, people are so bad at giving gifts too. It's outrageous. The fact that I'm not going to name one of my friends who is really bad at giving gifts. I'm not going to name the friend. but the fact that you can say me it's okay it's not you it's not you you're half decent you're at least half decent i'm not half to i don't give gifts you're at least i don't even bother i have given me gifts

before and they're like oh thanks at least i appreciate it you know i don't ever give you a gift ever as an insane you gave me literally my go on that i have right back there back in my room but it's like but it's like this is not horrible at least thanks but when people you know known you for years give you shitty gifts you're like yo do you even know I've known you for like 10 years how you can be such a bad gift

it's mind blowing and then like but wouldn't you rather see that's why I would rather not receive anything from those people just or just you know what you do if you're not going to give gifts just give money bro be real I don't hand me some cash I don't think look I

I just feel like the idea of If we're doing it. If we're doing it. If we're doing it. If that's the situation you're in, you know, if it's already happening. To me, it's like, look, look, if I, this is how I, I feel like everybody should approach it this way. If you have an abundance of money to actually give people stuff, why the fuck not? The problem is most people don't.

So they're stressed the fuck out. So I say, don't fucking get me anything. If you can't afford it. It's literally like doing fucking charity. It's like donating to, you know, causes. People donate what they have. They're not going to donate if they're fucking poor, if they're broke. So, like, don't do it.

Take care of yourself. And literally, like, just showing up and hanging out with people, your loved ones, is good enough in my eyes. So what the hell is this whole shit when, like, say, people on their birthday, they get all bummed out. Oh, man, I didn't get anything. I'm like, why the fuck should you expect anything, bitch? Who are you? For me, I just want to chill, bro.

I just want to chill. I want people that care about to be around and have fun. I hate birthday parties. In general, like I hate them. I hate having birthday parties. But every year, every year, there's always, I'm relaxing on my birthday. I'm having fun. You know, I'm playing video games.

Everyone's leaving me to fuck alone. And then I go into my living room, there's a bunch of people there. And I'm like, hey, now I have to host. Yeah, I specifically go out of my way to be like, bro, I, I, nothing. I just don't want any, you know, I like something very small. with just the homies. It's been like that's my, the vast majority of my adult life.

It's been nice. And I will accept gifts. I will. But the whole thing is only if you can, you know, like it's like if you have the kindness of your heart, you want to go out of your way. And I'm the same way.

I want to do the same thing. But it's like if I'm fucking broke, dude, whatever. It's like I'm going to a wedding this weekend. My friend is not getting in a wedding gift. He's not getting shit. The fact that I'm going to California is already good enough just to go to his fucking wedding,

you know? And anyone that cares about you would understand that, you know? Anyone that really cares about you would be like, my boy's on a tough time now. Like the fact that he's even here, I appreciate, you know? Yeah. But some people don't understand it. People just like, you're not going to give me anything? Yeah, I would rather just hang with people to be honest.

Or like if I don't like giving people things typically unless I think there's like, unless I think it's like funny or like we've, we've talked about it. For me, it's more like, ah, let me let me get you food or whatever. let's go get let's go like I'll you know that's like you never go wrong for me you can never go wrong exactly that to me that to me is that to me is a gift too like if anybody's like yo let me let me let me get you food it's like absolutely yes I will I will 100% appreciate this but like I don't know so many times I'll get like a gift or something and it's just like it just I don't I'm like I don't know where to fucking put this or or like it'll be just something that like and or like and I appreciate this most of the time because most of the people who give me

things like that understand like or or it would be something that's like really fucking funny. I'm just like, absolutely I want to put this up or whatever. But food is, food is easy. Like the easiest cheat code. You can't fuck up.

You can't fuck up giving somebody food, you know? No, absolutely. I think it's the only reason I don't have a bad reputation as a gift giver because I give people food all the time. There you go. It's like,

let's go out to fucking lunch my treat or whatever. Hell yeah. I was like, oh, I'm hungry. Like, oh, what are you in the mood for? I'm in the one for this.

Like, all right, I bet, I got you. Yeah. That's it. Because most of the time, it's like, I don't know, shopping for other people's way.

Like, I don't even know how to shop for me, really. Bro, you know? Like, I have no fucking idea what I would, what I would want to buy outside of, like, the things that, like, the only thing I buy are groceries and, like, stuff that I need to continue to do my job. Or, like, if I have an idea for, like, a video or something. You know what I mean? It's, like, it's never I buy a thing that's, like, specifically because, like, ooh, I want this thing. Really? I mean, I haven't.

Or it's rare. I definitely have, like, I definitely have. I got, I got myself a jacket. A couple years ago that I was like, yes, I want that jacket because I like the way it looks. But that's it. That's like the last time that's happened. That was like a year and a half ago. I definitely have gotten, I am much less, like when I definitely started making money from the podcast, like more than I was making from Starbucks like that, I definitely went crazy buying stuff for a little bit.

And then like, I happen. And then like I now, because I'm so, I'm so trying to save for like things I need. and I'm so like, oh man, what if something fucks up and I can't work or do something like that? That like I don't really buy stuff for myself too often And if I'm not buying it that it can't be like a tax write off Or something like that I just don't buy it anymore Like yesterday I tweeted out

Like my friend, my remember you were watching Digimon And we found out there's a new Digimon card game And I was like, am I gonna do this? And I spent like $30 on a Digimon deck And I'm like, Negro. I'm like, dang bro. This made me feel happy because I just don't buy shit for myself anymore

because I just like nerd shit That's all I like really got my Lilligai my light's it But that was a gift from her But like I don't really buy things I want anymore You know? Unless I'm like streaming and I'm a game Games I guess you know I buy those But I stream them usually

Yeah that's different It's kind of work related Yeah The joy of buying video games is entirely gone Like I still I still like playing them But that like that moment of like Ooh I've got a new game Like that's entirely fucking

That's dead in the water It's like, oh, oh, I'm excited to play that because I know I will because it's my job. And also because I, there's no way I won't be able to afford this unless something catastrophic. Unless like something fucking insane. Like, like, in which case, that's the least of my problems anyway. You got a lot of, you got a lot more to worry about than to simply that. Yeah, yeah. That's kind of like, honestly, like, that's why the conversation about like video game, like, prices of video games going up to like 70 bucks or whatever.

Like, it's difficult for me to, um, take it super seriously because first of all, they're cheaper than they've ever been really, like, realistically speaking. Yeah. Like, they're not even just inflation wise, but I mean, like, literally, like, I think Super Mario World went for like 90 bucks in like 90's money, which is like fucking insane. Now, I think it's like 140 something in today's money. So it's like that already to me is a thing. But like, if you're really at a point where like you can't swing for this. game that you want, there's probably more that you should be paying attention to, you know, not to, you know, I hate to sound, not to sound callous.

It's not to sound callous, but like, if I couldn't afford a video game, like, I wouldn't, I wouldn't be thinking about it. You know what I mean? I would be like, fuck, unless I was like a kid, you know, if you're, if you're a kid, you're in school, it's like, it always sucks to not be able to, man, I don't have fucking, I don't have the new fucking console and everybody else does. This sucks. I remember that.

But like, as an adult, man, I don't know, man. You gotta, there's, there's way more. Well, it's also like, just have a little fucking, like, the way that I do it. Since I don't make money by playing video games, I have no reason to buy shit brand new. Like, I have no reason to do it, so I don't. Like, it's super rare. Like, say, obviously, I'm going to scrape together some money, just got to wear Ragnarok, just because, like, you know, Kratos is my boy.

But besides that, like, I, like, I've talked about Resident Evil fucking village has been out how long, and I'm barely going to play it because the winter is. expansion. You know, I waited for it to like... I wait because I'm just like, you know what, dude? I love the Resident Evil franchise, but I can wait because I have more important things to do. And let's be real, every fucking gamer has a huge back catalog of shit that they're not fucking playing. Oh, stupid big.

It's wild because, like... I have thousands of games that I own that I haven't played. My back catalog is like... It's so bad now. especially because I became a PC gamer as well that I don't even know I don't even know if I care anymore Like it's like some games that I know I'm gonna love

I'm just never gonna play And I'm like okay with that now I'm like whatever like Like yeah I love that game Never gonna play it Like Capcom Bumble like humble Humble had that that bundle Like a lot of those

You told me about that You told me about that and I bought all of them And I have yet to play I have yet to touch a single one Like I still got look at my Oh Monster Hunter World like I just I don't have time to play it. I saw there was a

good deal on Final Fantasy 7 remake on Steam with like whatever else, something else was attached to it like an expansion or something. And it was a good deal. And I thought about it. I'm like, I, there's no way I'm going to play this. I just don't have,

I barely have time to, like I just started, I finally try to beat sleeping dogs because I've had it for so many years on different consoles. And I have it on PC now and I'm like, dude, I have to beat this. People fucking talk about how good the game is.

Let me try to finish it. Bro, sleeping golf is so old. It's so old. That game is nearly 10 years old. Is that 20? That's 2012, right? It's like, it's, it's, it's something around. Yeah, it's, it's hovering around early the 2010s, right?

August 14th, 2012, this game is. So that game is officially over 10 years old now for real. And I keep trying, but then I get like, I get distracted. I tried again. I officially have given up forever. I just know I'm not going to do it. That was Witcher 3 for me. Like I tried Witcher 3 so many times.

I restarted that game like maybe five times. And then I got super, I got like maybe like 30 hours in. And then I put it down to play other things. And then I went back to it and I was like, I don't remember where I was going. I don't remember what I was doing. I'll have to start again.

But it's like 30 hours. I'm not going to do 30 hours again. This is dead. I'm not going to finish the Witch of 3. Sorry. Huge 3. For me, that game got to a point where I couldn't put it down. Like, it was like, oh, pretty good, pretty good, pretty good, pretty good.

I can't stop playing Witcher anymore. And I just beat the game. I couldn't stop. Like, I wanted to. I wanted to play something else and I couldn't. It took over my mind. It's just, it's so easy for me to play something else because I always have these, these games that are very easy to jump back into, you know, like, or that I've played

so many times that I don't even have to pay full attention to him. I could just play while listening to it. Oh, there's a new, there's a new Devin Townsend album. I'm going to, you know, pop on this game while I fucking listen to it because I can't listen to it while I'm playing Witcher because I need to pay full attention to it.

It's just like this thing where it's like it's a time management thing more than anything. And it's just like, I can't put another 30 hours back into the Witcher to get to the point where I am only to probably put it down at the same place again. Like, like for instance, like with, like with a cyberpunk, right? I went through part of it in the beginning before

and I never finished it. And then I recently just finished that game. Mind you, such a good story. Like, holy shit, it's a great story of a video game. But, like, I remember just playing through it before, and I was like, I'm not really feeling it too much. And then, like, I really started getting into the way I was building my character. And I went, like, really tech-heavy.

Like, I had, like, quick hacking, like, through the ass. And it definitely made a lot of encounters way easier than it should have been, probably. because I remember I fought I fought Spoiler alert guys who we haven't Be in cyberpunk sorry I'm about spoiler view You fight Adam Smasher and I short-circuited him And one of his arms blew up off And it was just like

That's crazy Oh shit I don't know you could do that And then I did um then I did cyber A malfunction and we just ran up on him and beat him up I had a baseball bat A golden baseball bat And I beat him to death

And it was so fucking cool and I was just like I can't put down RPGs once I hit that point where I really feel like my character is weighed in from anything else like I just can't put the game down but a lot of other people they're like oh I get lost or like I forget where I'm at but for me it's like it'd be hard I have to hate RPG to put it down like despise it yeah no for me to see I have to love it to finish it like so a lot of RPGs I like I most RPGs that I start I don't finish because they start really strong or they'll they'll get to a point that's really good and then it'll kind of like taper off and I just I can't do it I don't know what it is like Skyrim was one of

those where it's like oh I could I could get through this because this was so fucking crazy or like it was Skyrim Mass Effect 2 fable 2 just like these very specific games then like everything else that I would play would just be like oh man this is good but it's not exactly what I want out of the, and I don't know. There's a bunch of stuff of my back catalog too. Like, I'm starting, I jumped back into Dishonored 2

because it was like this one glaring hole where, because I had played dishonored, I'd played Death Loop, I'd played Prey. And I was just like, oh, this is the one game from them. I haven't finished. So I've been jumping back into that

and I've been playing that new, the fucking rat rats. I got to get that game. It looks really good. Plague tale? Yeah, Plague, too. I got to get it. It's very good.

Get it on PC, though. On PC? Okay. Because console has like, it's at 30 frames on console for some fucking reason. Yeah, I can't do that. I never played any of them. It, it, it, I felt like, uh, is like what, the game is, is it, is it, is it, is it mostly like stealth?

It's a stealth game. If you don't like self games, you're not going to like it. The thing is like, stealth is so underserved now. It's insane. Like Splinter Cell's gone. Uh, fucking Metal Gear is, is, is gone. Uh, all of these stealth games are gone. The only stealth that is around anymore is like open world, like, oh, it's Far Cry and you crouch in the grass.

Like, it's like stealth games now are games that are open world within a stealth option. There's no longer stealth-focused games. There's like, yeah, there's like stealth mechanics in other games. Yes, yes. But the actual stealth game is gone and Playtale is like a full-on proper, like. The new one, it's definitely more like encounter, basically you can actually fight people in this one. the second one, but it's still like you should probably be using stealth is going to make it a better experience. It's still a stealth game with combat mechanics.

Yeah, now. Which is like, which is like the opposite of how other games are. It's like most games are like combat with stealth or open world with stealth. Right. It's almost like featuring like on like a track. Featuring stealth. Oh, open, open world RPG exploration featuring stealth. It's like, yeah.

It's like, yeah. And his little wing's going to be rapping the whole time. You're going to be like, bro. Yeah. But he's going to be rapping stealthily. So he's like really silent. You got to really listen for him. Anyway,

what the fuck were we talking about? Oh, yeah, this is a new sausage party. Oh, yeah, that's where we were. God,

damn. That is where we were. It doesn't matter. I'm sure it's going to be awesome. I'm sure it's going to be awesome. No one, no one kid. Like that was the fucking suck.

Who's the cast? Who's, who's it? I don't know, it's probably the same. It's probably the same. Matthew Perry. Did,

did the winter. Oh, yeah, Matthew Perry. So I want to talk about this because we I just learned about this moments before we even, like, while we were on the call to talk about, like, what are we going to talk about today? This Matthew Perry shit came up, but I couldn't. I can't not talk about it because this is the kind of thing that I will forget in a week unless we talk about it.

So Matthew Perry wrote a book recently. And apparently there are a bunch of headlines about him talking shit on Keanu Reeves, and this is one of them. Matthew Perry takes aim at Keanu Reeves. And this is what he said in his book. why is Heath Ledger dead but Reeves still walks among us and there's a bunch of other let me see if I could fight

because there's one that was a little bit more in depth harsh but it's like what the fuck what did he do man that's what I'm saying it's like I have to imagine Keanu Reeves is seeing this trending and he's like what he's like Maddie Perry I never spoken to him one time

Chandler I met him in like he was in my house for some reason one time at a party I know I didn't invite him. Why is it that the original thinkers like River Phoenix and Heath Ledger die, but Keanu Reeves still walks among us? River was a better actor than me. I was funnier, but I certainly had my own, held my own in our scenes.

No small feat when I look back decades later. So it's just like, it's not even about him. It's just like he randomly decides to just sling a shot at someone that's just trying to smoke a blunt by themselves, bro. And you know what I think it is? he's probably so out of touch that he's probably only seen Bill and Ted and then like that's just it

and so he just thinks like this guy fucking sucks what a fucking and then he just hears about Keanu Reeves all the time like why is he so popular I don't get it he's the Bill and Ted guy even though like he's a Matrix and everything else that he's done there's a bunch of there's a bunch of thing yeah because Keanu Reeves has reinvented himself like a million times it's kind of amazing

like he's like I if you would have told me that Keanu Reeves would still be relevant today like in 2009 or something, I would have been like what? Well, it's because he's, it's because, one, he's managed to stay such a likable guy so long without anything happening to him. Whenever he has interviews, he's very personable in his interview. So you're like, oh, I just kind of like this guy. And also he's like a kick-ass martial artist.

So that's another reason why people really like him. So I'm learning a bunch of things about this guy now. Apparently he was in New Vegas and he was so bad that people modded him out. Not Keanu, Matthew Perry That's amazing, that's awesome Which is really That's funny as fuck That is really goddamn funny

Get this Get this out of here, bro I met both Keanu Reeves and Matthew Perry During my Hollywood days Kiannu asked My friend and I for a light And we ended up in a fun conversation He's such an original

I was at a party I was at a party drink line with Perry And he was just randomly nasty and sour Yeah, so I don't know Maybe it's his exploded colon Or all the years of drugs Well, think of it like this Think of Chandler's character, right?

Think of Chandler's character As a character in friends, right? I don't remember He's an asshole He's kind of a sarcastic asshole And I think Perry So he has So he embodies some of that

Those characteristics Where he's like, oh, he's why He got the job Yeah, like you're, okay You're a piece of shit Like that's what we need You're a bit of a twing-cunt, aren't you? So like, yeah, you

No, you'll perfect. It'll be perfect. Could my ass. Could my asshole be any more exploded? Yeah, yeah. For those of you people that don't know. Oh, yeah, his asshole exploded. It exploded.

He was popping one too many fucking oxy cotton or something. Maybe that's why. Maybe that's why he's such an asshole because he's overcompensating for the asshole that he lost. What the lack of an asshole? He's like, if I'm not a, if I'm not a. dick people might think I don't have an asshole but I do I have an ass I have a real ass I want to see my asshole I have an asshole I have an asshole I have a real asshole

you think you think uh Keanu Reeves put a bomb in his ass and that's why he's salty stop you got to can you imagine he put Keanu Reeves he him and Matthew Perry at a party once he was like hey man I'm I'm I'm practicing for this new movie John Wick you want to see and Matthew Perry's like sure man and he kicks him in the asshole so hard that it explodes

and Keanu's like, hey, we can keep quiet about this, right? It's not a big deal, right, between friends? He kicked him in an asshole. And he's just been stewing with that resentment for years. The idea of kicking someone in the asshole is so outrageous, bro. So pinpoint accuracy that it splits his fucking pants and straight into his asshole.

So his shit explodes. There's like a blade bursts, like a water balloon all over the fucking floor. And he's just lying there crying. Whoa, sorry, man. All right, well, it's been, it's been good catching up. And he just leaves. He leaves, he leaves Matthew, Matthew Berry with his bleeding ass on the ground of a fucking random party at Hollywood where no one else saw. No one's going to believe him.

No one's going to believe him. There was him like, no, he did not do that, dude. He's like, he fucking kicked me in my assholes. Like, no, he didn't, Matthew. Stop fucking lying. You're telling me Johnny Silverhand, like the fucking your, your breathtaking guy from E3 kicked you in the asshole in the middle of a Hollywood party, exploded your colon and then left without saying anything. I don't believe that. Yes, Johnny Silverhand would absolutely kick someone.

That's why I changed it immediately. Dude, there are several characters in video games that I've met that are like, oh, this guy's kind of a dick, you know. Johnny Silverand takes the cake For the most dickhead person I have ever encountered in a video game Like he's just a dickhead bro I don't know What about a what about you play the telltale

Walking Dead series Oh my god fucking Duck's dad Um not Doug's dad No not kidding No Duck is the biggest guy Bro when I killed Duck When I killed Duck on stream You must say quack, quack.

Yeah, I killed him. You got bit. Yeah, you can shoot him and you mean later. I thought you meant like you didn't save him. Oh, no, I saved him. I said, okay, okay.

Kenny was an asshole until the end when that school kid got hurt. And he actually stayed with him like a G and then Kenny got away. And you guys actually got away. Well, he dies. Kenny dies still too. No, Kenny takes what you call it. Later. Well,

he didn't have to die. He takes Clement time. And it's him, Clement time, the Hispanic dude, Kenny and the wife. But I, I shot Duck in a face.

Yeah, Duck is sitting there against a tree. And you shoot him in the fucking head. He's like, man, he's like Afflack. And he's like, Afflack,

bitch. Bam. Afflack. He starts turning into a zombie. And he says, Aflick. And he like jumps at you. And Lee puts his fucking boot on his head

and blows his brains out. Squishes it slowly. And then fucking, what you call it? Your new name. Kenny, he's like, would you do that for Lee? And Lee slaps him with a gun and fucks Kenny's wife. Slaps them.

His life was pretty stacked, man. Your new name is Peking, buddy. That wasn't even- Pow, pow! He shoots him 18-time. He just, he wastes all of his ammo. He waits all the bullets just like, he just turns duck into fucking paper bachet for no reason.

Now, Clem, I just needed to make sure he was actually dead. Okay. I want to play those games. I own, I own all of them, but I don't play them all. They're not that thing. They're,

you know, dude, I think they're so fun to do on stream or play with people. Oh, they are, yeah. Yeah,

like that. Like yourself, I mean, sure, they're fun, but I always, whenever I played them, I'd be playing with people.

And, um, I wasn't even, dude, I got so far from we always saying the, the fucking, uh, that one chick's dad,

the guy that has the heart attack. Oh, I fly in that nigga's head, bro. I mean, dang it's that word. Dang it. But I said it, dang it.

You last it a while. You lasted a while. Damn it. Dude, I went weeks without saying it. But I, it doesn't even count really because like two of those episodes are lost.

So like it doesn't even really count that much. Yeah. So he was getting mad and he had a heart attack. And I was like, I'm killing him. And the daughter was like, don't kill my dad. I was like,

if you try to stop me, I'll kill you. And then she left the camp because she steals, she steals the RV eventually. because I threatened the murder Fuck that bitch, bro.

Bro, the funniest thing I saw that game So, like, I think it was Kenny that I can't remember I think it was Kenny Kenny convinced me

No, no, no, I did it I did it No, well like, Oh, so I didn't So I was trying to save the motherfucker Right? I was giving them Resuscitation

I was like, I was like pounding and then the funniest fucking thing I think my game glitched Because I think it was Kenny or whoever drops the brick on his head, right?

Kills him And the game, his head is gone. And, like, he's still fucking pumping. He's still trying to pump him while he has no head. So I'm trying to resuscitate him like for a good, like, five seconds. That's awesome. That's what the funniest fucking thing I ever see. That's when you get stuck in a what you call. You get stuck in the house of the cannibals, right?

Yeah. Dude, I, can you, can you like, can you save him? Can he, like, not die? No, because he's racist. He's like, oh, he's attacking. He's a blacking you because he's a flash. I think he punches you and you almost get left behind. He is doomed to die.

I think either you can kill him or Kenny kills him. Yeah. Like I don't think there's any other outcome. But I don't know, man. His daughter got really mad. How did we get here again? I have no. Oh, because he said like he was the biggest dickhead.

He was the biggest dickhead. Oh, I don't know, man. Who do you think beats Johnny? Johnny's an asshole, bro. I think, have you ever played Spire the Dragon? Yes, but it'll look. long time ago. I didn't play the remastered.

There's a character in that game. I think his name is Moneybags. And he literally, his whole purpose is to get, is to block you from entering the next level until you have enough gems. Mind you, his world is under threat. And he's sitting there.

He's not even like, he's not even like a hired goon by the bad guys. He's just this guy who like, he sees you trying to do hero shit. And he's like, ah, it's a shame that everybody's going to die soon. If only you had fucking 14 gems, perhaps then maybe I'd let you pass. And he's just like a stingy motherfucker.

Like I forgot about this until I played like those remasters a couple years ago. I was like, this is one of the most evil characters I've ever seen like in anything. Like for no reason. Could you imagine that's like Spider-Man trying to save lives and Venom just getting in his way while he's doing it? Yeah. Just not letting him do it. Just like, nah, man. I'm not.

He just grabs him, push him, push him back. Nope. The thing that makes him. it's so egregious is this character is clearly mobile enough to get to all these different realms and everywhere around

him there are gems so he's just he's imagined going like going out of your way to visit an exotic location specifically to block heroes

from progressing so they can collect gems for you even though they're very approachable and very, very abundant in the world. Like, it's a wild. That character sucks. That's actually a cool, like, little list to compile, like, the most, like, dickhead. That should be their next episode.

We should really think about it. That would be a good idea. Go over the most, and we put it on, like, we tweet it out. We just go, we all retweet it, and we need to get, like, a poll of the most dick-headish characters of all time. Yeah. That's a good idea. Guilty Spark is definitely top five. No, that could be, that could be a, that could be a good extra episode.

That could be like an extra, like, patron exclusive one. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Just like a one hour, like, theme. And we could, we could poll the audience on it, not even just Patreon, but just, like, you know, just Twitter in general. And just, we could have, like, a big debate about, like, who the worst character. I like it. In fiction is.

I wouldn't say, though. So, look, look, look, we got to go, are we going to go, like, dickheads? Like this sort of assholes Are we gonna go like villains? I don't think more like I wanted to be more like say They are designed to make you hate them Like that type of shit

Like Oscar Kakashka Kakashka fuck that dude Mr. Kukashka might be the most Evil character I've seen in anything Not evil but for real unlikable He's super unlikable Mr. Kakashka is evil I strangle him

I have watched The entirety of Hey Arnold recently And I have no doubt in my mind that there's no character with worse intentions than Mr. Krakashka. Where'd you watch it on? Huh? What'd you watch it on Amazon for I'm thinking? I think, well, I saw it on a friend's Hulu account.

It's on Hulu. Oh, it's on Hulu. Oh, right, right. Yeah, okay. Yeah, but he just does not want to improve even slightly. And the only time he ever feels guilty enough to even try to improve is when he's lost and afraid. Like, that's the only point.

Like, he shuts the door in Arnold's face so many times. He doesn't give a shit about his wife who is miserable. He doesn't read. He's so. But it's not even like an ignorant like, oh, you know, like I just, I'm having, I'm having trouble Arnold. I cannot read. That's my fault. I'm sorry.

It's like I don't and I won't. I don't know. And I will get by. I'm happy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And guess what?

I'm happy that my wife settled for me. And I'm dragging her down in every single conceivable way. I live for that. I am a vampire. And if she's happy, then I'm fucking miserable. He's such a terrible piece of shit, dude. I just want to, I just want to, I just want to make it so he can only taste soap. Like, whenever he eats, it tastes like soap.

So he just hates eating and he die. At least. Just shove a bar of soap in his nose. I mean, it'll fit. Because the thing with, like, no more Arnie. Arnie has a really big nose. No, but so does Oscar. It's just long and skinny like a dick.

it is pretty long and skin he has he has a dick nose too I mean not as big as Ernie's Bernie's nose is uh He's nose is different from the rest of his face Ernie's nose is explored it bro Big as his fucking body He has a schnaz dude

Anyway What do we go what do we got Hey Arnold Remember Ernie dated a model And he let her go He broke up with a model That's right yeah Well

Right Ah He had a good reason He let her go He was like hey look You're too beautiful To be with someone like me look I understand

No that that wasn't it She did that Oh she did that to him? I thought she did her Well he was like she was she was like Well it would look it would look strange Because you're too small And he was like well I

Alright well fuck this And then he leaves Damn So props to Ernie Who is a better character than fucking Oscar Oh he is At least Ernie has like

It's earnest At least you know He's an earnest He works He's a fucking He's a hardworking construction worker Oscar Kakashka is worse than Friza

And all he's I'll leave it. I'll leave it there. Because Friza's so stupid. Bro. Because Friza at least, like, man, there's,

Friza's not given a sob story, man. Friza's not like, oh, oh, you know, I'm sad. You know, Arnold, I can't read.

Oh, Goku, Goku, I can't read. If only I could read, that could be a better person. Friza is so transparently evil that it's almost good.

He's almost a good guy. He's almost commendable. So like, I don't commend him, but like idiots who are, like, villains, the dumb kid in school is like

I like him because villains are cool that idiot would like him you know even that kid would be like I saw I saw a tweet recently that blew my mind it was deleted shortly after I drew attention to it because that's just what happens with terrible opinions but like somebody was like

I think I wish I could remember the exact verbiage of it but it was somebody talking about how like people need to stop liking villains when the villains are racist or homophobic or or like basically all these villainous things and it's like that's what a villain is.

Yeah. Like that's an instrument like like like like liking a villain isn't like oh I would love to have tea with this person and I think they're a good person. Likeing a villain is about like wow what a good antagonist that you really like to root against or like. Or for sometimes because of what they're bringing to the story. Or for some of it's fun to watch him. Yeah, it's like bringing the story. I understand.

But it's. the thing is that the thing is that there are so many people out here in this world that are mentally ill that really like these villains for the dumb reason of like oh that's actually cool i like how cool this guys are being that because you know we know we know we are the minority right we 100% know that no one out here is really ruined for freeza because of his racist tendencies you know we're like oh fuck freeze he's a dickhead, you know, but it is cool to see what he brings to the story sometimes, you know?

He may go super sane, stuff like that. But they'll, though they're not a large majority, they're not a large majority of people, there are those fucking stumble fucks out there that can't tie their shoes that are like, yeah, freeze is awesome. I like when he calls them monkey. Like they exist. They're not a huge crowd,

but they exist. That person's dumb for saying that, though. I feel like that's more like anti-heroes that people miss the point. of you know what I mean where it's like oh like I love Rick or like oh man I love Walter White is such a good person I love Punisher he's so cool I'm I like cops and Punisher and it's like you know Punisher kills cops you know that right you know he like explicitly goes on his way to kill police officers that that is that is funny like like that the blue lives matter like the thin blue line

or whatever the fuck I can't remember what it's what it's called but like the fucking the blue lives matter shirts are Punisher logos because yeah it always had that Punisher shit or when you see like Punisher hates you you see the Punisher USA things and it's like do you know who Punisher is first of I hate Punisher he sucks I think but like literally they don't know but it's like yo you know he would not be for the military or for you he'd probably shoot you and he'd be right to do it probably they should just watch like a Punisher anything and then they would know immediately like just watch this watch a 10 minute video of comments explain explaining but I also feel like I also feel like

people don't care about that. Like, you're not, not to get political, but just think about the most popular, uh, Republican president, uh, Trump that, all that should happen,

who he actually represents, you know, a rich guy that has no connection to his actual constituents. It's mental illness. It's people, it's being incapable of understanding what they're viewing. It's just one of those things that's just weird to me. I'm like,

why would you like this guy when you, he represents everything that you, actually hate and you're not a part of. So it's like, I understand why those Punisher things can happen too. They just, for some reason, they just attach themselves to it even though it makes zero sense. That was so, the whole watchman thing

is like, the whole watchman show is like all these fucking Confederate asshole dickheads using Roershack mask. And it's like, do you don't know who Roershack was? Like, what? I guess. Have fun, man. Well, they are cool mass. It's just what. It's just what happens.

happens. There's just a deep hypocrisy in most politics in general, and I find it hard to reconcile with any of it, because it's, it's, it's, it's so strange to me that someone could, it's, it's like whenever somebody goes like, oh, I, you know, I just want small government. It's like, well, that's not true, because there's no such thing. Like, there's, like, there's a difference between, like, it's like, oh, I want small government, uh, in the sense of, I want the government to be, uh, corporations instead is really what it is you know what I mean it's like there's no such thing there's no actual small government people that that's libertarians those those are the real like actual like small government people and they're crazy too but like just but just normal conservatives

but just like but just like normal conservatives who are like uh yeah maybe sodomy should be illegal it's like that's small that's not small government all bro are you kidding you want to make something illegal that's just a that's just a different type of big government It's like, I don't know. It's just, there's all sorts of fucking hypocrisies all over the place. They're talking without, like, they're just saying shit. They just say things. But like, I don't, I don't even blame.

It's like, it reminds me of, sorry, but it reminds, this reminds me a lot of, like, when the abortion stuff was happening and people were like, oh, well, you know, it, it's, it's not a baby yet, but it will be a baby. Like, so if you abort, then you are still coming in, you, you are still severing a life. And it's like, all right, well, how does, that to me is like, that's a brilliant, you know, line of reasoning for a pedophile who's like, oh, yeah, you know, well, they'll be, they'll be an adult one day. Andrew Schultz literally said that exactly. He said that exactly during his stand-up.

And I was like, that's a bit forward, but also. Who's Andrew Schultz? Oh, the comedian guy? Yeah, and I was just like, oh, man. Oh, did he say that? She said that literally exactly that. That is really, that is, but that's so real. I think I saw it like written

I saw it written somewhere So I can't take credit for it But that's a real like oh that's fucking That is true That's the argument Dude people want to use stupid arguments The thing is that these stupid arguments Can always be redirected in a fucking

Even stupider way That's true yeah It's like it's like a ping pong game It's like You don't want to do this Because God doesn't want me do this It's like well God doesn't want me do this If you read the book

You know I'm shouldn't be showing their faces You know unless they're married right And it's like Where is it like Oh in this book that you don't even Fucking know You're gonna

argue these things for Kyle. You don't know the book you're arguing about. Well, that's, I just, I can't, I can. That's what, like, we keep talking about, I brought up Dudley Kruger earlier because that is the, I, I, I've had to say this a few times and I stopped because of like, these people, you can't reason with them. They think they know, but, like, say, I know. I used to be a religious person. I made it a point to with a podcast I used to listen to, which is funny because, uh, this guy ended up debating, he ended up debating, um, uh, Sargon of Akkad at one of the Mythcons, the 2016 one or whatever. This guy's name's Thomas Smith.

And I would listen to his podcast where he literally just went through the entire Bible. And then he started doing the Quran. Where you go through it so you can stop being like, oh, I actually know what's in this thing. And it's insane when you read it. And it was basically that's the whole point of it. So when I say things like, oh, you know, that whole abortion argument, it life begins that when you draw your first press. It says it in the Bible.

So please stop using the Bible as a thing about these babies and shit because at the end of the day, God doesn't give a shit about babies. As a matter of fact, he drowned them all. Like, let's just be honest about this. It's like one of those things where you can't talk to these people about these certain things because, like I said, it's done in Kruger. They think they know or they claim to know. And then you're like, well, what do you do with that?

Because it just stops. It's like, I saw this one interesting. argument it was on it was a Reddit thread where he said this guy I was having an argument with a guy that said he outran the cops a helicopter while it was raining and stuff and he cooled down his body so then the helicopter couldn't pick him up on infrared and the guy said and into himself he's like well even though like to be able to cool your body off that much you would die to escape infrared he said to the guy well what about your motorcycle's engine and then the guy said well they can only detect organic heat signatures. And then after that he just, he's like, I, I can't, there's nothing,

I can't talk to this guy because he's just saying, he's just saying things that aren't real, you know, like that are, they can only track, like, imagine that.

And like this is what this guy, it's not even like a real distinction. That's not even like a real, no, no, it's really not at all. It's heat. You can't, that's like sci-fi stuff.

Artificial heat versus organic heat. Thermal, Are you serious? Heat is heat. Hot is hot. Like that's so, that is so, like, imagine not understand. Imagine, imagine, imagine for a moment not understanding that hot is hot. Like, that's, that's astounding.

It's only biothermal heat. It's like, are you stupid? But that's how, like, you dumb. You get to a point where you can't, you literally have to stop arguing because you can't. You won't win because you know there's nothing you can do. And I feel like with a lot of these talking points, it's, It's like punching a baby in the face. It's not even going to remember you did that.

You know? Yeah. It's like such a pointless. But that's why you do it though. But that's why you do it. Yeah, you do it to get away to get away with something. You pick up a baby and you talk into the year and you leave. Yeah.

There's something about like, there's something about like, can you imagine in the Marvel? Can you imagine the Marvel cinematic universe? Somebody was like doing that jumping thing with their kid where they're just like throwing him up. And then he gets snapped out of existence when he throws him. So just a child comes careening down. women, you know, baby disappeared in their stomach or and then like five days got pregnant again.

Whoa. Oh, that's interesting. You know, or what if no, or what if no babies got snapped out of existence because life isn't real until he draws the first breath. So in an at the moment everybody's like, you see, you see? What about? The mom and the baby's spooks. The babies ain't fucking real.

What happens to somebody? Blood clot, idiot. What happens to you? What happens to somebody who gets snapped out of existence and then their house gets torn down? And then they build a new building in that place. But where that person would theoretically respawn is in the middle of a, is matter. What happens to that person? What if it pops in a safe distance? How does it know that?

I don't know. Yeah. How does it know where all the life is in the universe, you know? You know what you sound like that confusing. you saw like that guy mauler that just deconstructs like oh yeah yeah yeah he asks questions like that where every little thing he comes to it is like what about this and what about it is a fun it is a fun question to think about

yeah the idea of the idea of just like being snapped back into like like because I know they toyed around with that in the Spider-Man movie where they were like uh oh yeah some people came back in the in their old apartments that was that were resold and they were like what the fuck or people showing up during no freaking what you got people showing up during like the basketball game and get in there with a basketball Yeah, yeah Imagine like

Oh dude Imagine that Like all them years later You remarried You got a new kid and shit And all of a sudden Your fucking wife just calms back Like oh

What's the worst Or the weirdest part Is that you come back Younger than your younger brother Oh yeah You were three years younger than your brother Your brother's three is Right

You come back in these two years older than you And you're like What the fuck? What if you come back And your significant others They're just gay now They were so traumatized that they're like, I can't date anyone that even resembles my guy.

So I'm, I'm gonna just, I'm gonna just stick with the ladies or whatever. The guy so androgynous look. Like, it's such a fucking standard looking man. What, like this? It's like how they say, Chris, it's like everybody's like one of those guys that just looks like a guy. Like, if you look at him, you can't tell who he looks like more than out of the three of us. Like, he's just such a normal looking dude. And he's like, I can't be with men, period.

anymore. Hey man. The stranger things have happened. Yeah. Why did they make, why didn't Marvel make a series about that time period? Because there's already a show about that.

Is there? Yeah, it's, it's, I don't know what it's called. I don't think it's called the terminal. But it's like,

it's a show about a, it's a show about people who go on a plane and then there's like a weird, right? Or was it a show? It's a show. It's like,

it's like, it's like, it was like, these people get on a plane and they land like five, years later or something. And everybody thinks they've been dead the whole time.

And everybody's like, what the fuck? And it's like this whole fucking thing. I've heard about this show. I wouldn't be okay with that. Like people would try to be like, oh, that's strange. I'd be like, no. No. There's something more happening.

I would be intrigued in that show. If they actually explain what happens. But what happens with a lot of these bullshit fucking sci-fi things is he never explain what happened and it drives me nuts. The thing about sci-fi. stuff is that when you explain everything that goes on, it ruins some of the mystery of it. No, you don't know, no, no. You shouldn't be adding a bunch of shit that you can't explain at the same time.

I need it explained at the end of the series or whatever or at some point. You know, it just, it just can't never get to it. That shit drives me nuts. I don't care if it for a while you don't know, like even seasons, but if they finally discover, for example, I know the Walking Dead still on, shockingly. I had to like confirm that. did any of you know if they know why the zombie

apocalypse happened? Kirkman gave an interview about he said he he said he gave he said like I don't this is what I read right it was on CBR right and it was like the idea that Kirkman said that the the pathogen that turned everybody

into zombies was alien it's an alien pathogen that did it and he came how did it get there didn't you say anything about shit lands in places all the time you know I mean okay It's like a symbion

It's like a symbion How does that make sense How does that stupid? Well, it's stupid because in that universe So, okay, look Alien stuff does come like say right A meteorite comes in I'm sure we're alien stuff

You know But it's like The idea of that So where's the other It's just like what other Like the idea like this look You know like sci-fi You need to have

Realism bounds right It needs to be bounds of realisticness in sci-fi. But once you explain everything and something, the magic leaves it. That is how it is in fantasy. That's how it is in sci-fi. How is everything? Halo, they started explaining too much shit. Halo started getting stupid.

Let's explain why the forerunners are this, and let's make Master Chief this. And it's like, you don't need to do all that. That's not what that is there for. To me, I agree to a certain extent. There's certain things. Like, say, you talk about Star Wars and you talk about the force. The force is supposed to be magic and all that bullshit. I don't care about an explanation of that.

It's more of like, say, for example, if I never would have understood, say they never explained or, um, uh, order 66 or something, you never got to see that sequence or any of that stuff surrounding it. You just know shit happened. I just get annoyed when there's like really big, like plot holes that are just left. I think that's fine. I think it's fine. And I feel like not knowing how the fuck the zombie,

apocalypse happen, for example, is what would just annoy. Not the fact that there's zombies at all. I don't care that that's just bullshit. It's completely fake. That would never happen. It's an impossibility. I'm okay with that. It's like,

just give me a logical explanation to how it even happened. What if no one knows, though? What if no one knows? But how the fuck do you not know? Like, no, no, not like the author,

but like relative to the world that you're experiencing and the thing through, no one knows. I understand what you're saying. I understand what you're saying, like I would understand most people wouldn't know, but usually, there is very smart people

that are able to track where this first started and then they start investigating from there to figure out the ground zeroed patience. Yeah, but that's true, but that's like, that's in reference to like an idea of like like in in Walking Dead right like though I'm not defending this show at all right. Right. I'm not giving the defense

of the show. But it's like the idea of like it's like when there are some mysteries are mysteries because they're mysteries you know having an answer for it kind of ruins things, you know. But I may be in the minority. I may be the minority with this. Like, I know, I'm sure we're going to

have people that interview with both of us at the same time of this. I stand where I enjoy things being fantastical to a certain degree. It's what to explain, like, midichlorians didn't help Star Wars, you know? Yeah, no, I agree. It didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I was never

wondering where the force came from, though. That was never even a question. I feel like, at least in my, in my, in my, in, from my point of view, I never was like, they're, uh, the Jedi are evil from my point of view or whatever. But I never I never understood that like Oh were people actually curious like

What is the force? I just accepted it as these motherfuckers It's like magic There is no expect like like say the DC universe or anything Magic is just magic There is no explanation It would be nice maybe it would be cool But it doesn't need it

It's just like it's just magic Magic is magic It's just a thing Yeah It's called magic and I'm like fine Fair enough To me I don't know A zombie apocalypse is so...

Like, that's in the realm of, like, fantasy for whatever reason to me. Like, like, if... I know there's more genres than just fantasy and sci-fi, but if I were to put zombie apocalypse into something, it would probably be more of a fantasy thing than sci-fi thing. Yeah, because I would imagine that, like, a zombie apocalypse is... The idea of the dead... The idea of the dead coming back to life is more of, like, a necromancy. type type fucking thing and it almost feels like that aspect of it you're right the dead like coming

back to life aspect is more yeah so to me it's like i've never i was never really curious about like how the zombie pocket started because like those questions never get answered in these things and whatever they do it's always like wildly unsatisfying it's always like some fucking like oh there's a virus and it got and it it got out and it or it's like rabies or like even in the last of us where they're like it's a fucking fungus and it's like the the fungus it's cool to distinguish the look of the zombies I guess but it's not in and of itself all that fucking interesting it's I don't know like I think it's one of those things where it's like I want to know why there are halos but I don't want to know everything about the the the people that made them you know what I

mean like it's there's there's room for mystery and there's room for uh um explanations It's also interesting though because people were For example We're really upset that In Mass Effect 3 That people didn't know about the reapers Unless you You fucking bought the DLCs

So like in the fucking main game In the vanilla You didn't know What the fuck happened or where they came from Which people were really fucking like just What is happening That I would argue though Because it's size

and because there are so many means in that universe to get information, it's a little bit, and because you spend most of that universe, most of your time of that universe uncovering things, like it makes a little bit more sense to be off put by that than not knowing where the zombie apocalypse started because realistically in universe, if a zombie apocalypse like that happened just one day out of nowhere, it would be really fucking unlikely that anyone would have any clue of how that started or even where. Yeah, that's the thing. Or even how to track that down.

Some government entities. Because I feel like there's some people that would be protected in any type of a doomsday scenario. Just thinking of like it logically, there would be a lot of protected classes. But in the context of what the one is for the one we're talking about, there's no protection from it. I feel like it's almost better to go like a Joker. It's over. I feel like I feel like the best way to go about a zombie apocalypse storyline is probably like a Joker type scenario where there's like there's different people. with like really strong

predictions of what's happening there's really strong reasons for why they believe this thing happened and they each have like like things that might go to their that might reinforce their point

or whatever but like at the end of the day people still kind of don't know I'm okay with I'm actually okay with that too um but that show is terrible that's by the way

I don't want to fucking yeah we're not defending we're definitely walking dead it's interesting that now I thought about it because I I'm watching a lot of trash TV just to put on the side of when I'm playing something but I thought about hey maybe I'll take this opportunity to actually see what the hell is happening in that because I fell off around the time um uh Glenn got he got he got beat

he got bashing he I feel like that's when everyone stopped watching the show because that's when I stopped simply because of how shocked I was Joel and last was part two he got Glenn essentially that's yeah yeah yeah so that I watched yeah after that I was like okay this guy because I the show seemed pretty popular because I would go to a conventions and every there would be 10

000 fucking what's that guy's name zombie in niggin what Negan degan degan yeah oh right yeah I was like because I was thinking about like the conventions that I would go to

and there would always be like a walking dead booth and there would be Like people dress as zombies. Yeah. Like a rat, like they would have him at E3 or like packs or whatever. They would always be there. And yeah. Yeah, there was that character zombie that best. Yeah, zombie.

You don't remember zombie from the walking dead? I don't know, man. It's, uh, that show, I fell off way before. Like, I fell off like season three. Like after the farm because I was like, man, we spent the whole fucking season on this stupid farm just to wait for a girl who was in the barn the whole fucking time. The whole time. And then the shit never said. anything. Yeah, and then

season three starts and it's just not very good and you're just like I can't. Is that? The prison? I don't remember. Yeah, it's the prison. Yeah. And it's like I can't. I don't care enough about this to continue. Like I fucking, I like the first season was good. You know, it wasn't amazing. It was fine. It was very good.

It was very, there was nothing that bad about it. Nothing particularly wrong. What the hell are you laughing at? What are you giggling at? Like a little fucking Kirby school girl what are you doing? No nothing dude yeah what's up talk your shit

talk your shit what are you laughing at he saw some bullshit I saw some bullshit I saw some watch I'm sorry talk your shit talk your shit for real

it's not very good is the point yeah it's it's I mean it's obviously it's not good enough to fucking watch for fucking however many seasons what is it like season it's been over 13

it's been over 10 yeah it's definitely over 10 what makes what makes me so upset about last of the fucking dead is I feel like I swear to God they said it's ending like three times. I swear to God, if I guess it's been like at least eight times.

I think legitimately, I'm like, let's go. I think legitimately it's ending next year. I just wonder who the fuck still on the show. Yeah, even Rick's gone, isn't it? Rick's gone and Mishone. Mishone's gone. Glenn's gone. Oh, Mishone's gone?

Yeah, I think Daryl is the only one. That's hilarious. Oh my, he's still on this show. I think it's only Daryl, yeah. Bro, that makes sense. Like a lot of people still liked, uh, there's probably a, big you know um southern draw to the show because of darrell like you know he he brings that it was like remember when duck dynasty was the thing well there's a duck dynasty video game

bro what is that game what do you do in duck dynasty wait you want you guys want to do a duck dynasty no i don't i kind of do i don't i actually don't want to stream duck dynasty i want to see if there's footage i played through on youtube yeah duck dynasty video game i remember this for some reason. What do you do? Do you just like just smoke meth and shoot ducks? I don't understand. I think this might have been

and shoot ducks. I could be wrong but I feel like this was a game that fucking total biscuit talked about. Like it was like one of the last games he talked about. Oh wow. Which is like ages ago. I could be wrong though. That's it could be entirely in my head.

Duck Dynasty full game walkthrough. It's about four and a half hours. What the fuck is this this is insane that this it's fucking quick scoping trouts yo

what the fuck there's hit markers oh my god yeah I gotta say the the graphics are a little better than I thought they're gonna be I'll be honest I mean I thought the graphics were gonna look like

fucking did you see that fucking um fashion furious game that came uh you remember that shit the one I came It looks like a... Yeah.

It looked like it was made in 2007. Bro, I don't know how they released that game, for real. They got stealth sections. Oh, they got... Dude, that's actually... Oh, look at the poopie. This looks so fucking shit. It's insane.

Well, the thing is, it's like it looks better than it should, but also this... This does look like a... Like, I could make something that look like this for sure. Dude, this is like Unity. Like, fucking old school rock star. He's running like fucking GTA 3 or 4. I'm like, why? watching this dude run and his legs are wide and he's doing that, that skippy run.

You remember that fucking run from like G-C? Oh, yeah, from every video games? Yeah, yeah, I guess we're on that era. Oh, my God. Oh, Lord. We got questions, right? Yeah, let's get to the question. Click and collect.

Order confirmed. Dad, tomorrow can we start a band. Yeah. Can we become robots? Affirmative. Can we go crab battling? That isn't a thing. How about swimming?

Dad, can we take an app? You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal. Deal. While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials. Book your free click and collect slot at tesco.e or in-app. Tesco, every little helps. Terms and conditions apply. No more, no more Duck Dynasty.

Stop letting us talk. We got to get on a range with the shit getting out of hand, man. I'm fucking, I'm already half dead. You think there's a porn? I think there's a porn called Dick Dynasty. Okay, so hold on. Before we continue, Walking Dead future spinoffs,

even though the Walking Dead season 12 isn't happening, we haven't seen the last of all of the show's characters as there are multiple spinoffs in development. Oh my God, they're still going. The first, the Walking Dead Dead City will see Maggie and Negan

take on New York City. So correct me if I'm wrong. Wait. But... Wait. Maggie's the old lady. No, Maggie's the one was Glenn's wife. Yeah, Maggie I'm pretty sure is Glenn's wife.

from what I remember. Carol was the old lady. Carol, yeah, yeah. They're working together now? Yeah, because they all, imagine getting that cucked that like your fucking, your wife watches you get your eye

blown out of your own head and then she goes on little fucking spin-off adventures with a guy who killed you. That is, that is, rested fucking sadness, Lennie. Rest and piss, pussy.

Shouldn't have fucking died. That's crazy. like that pussy I literally don't That makes Now I really want to watch This series to see how How are they

Coexisting at all The idea The idea is going to be some bullshit Like the greatest enemy We have to work together It's like I understand working together You know But that motherfucker flatted my husband's head

He too ded my husband's head Bro I can't fucking do that He killed the only thing She cares about In this apocalyptic world. This survival, dude. Well, they had a kid too.

Yeah, she was pregnant. So I'm just like, this. This is so fucking, but the series is getting the most attention is the walking dead dead city, which will team, which will team up the unlikely duo of Maggie and Negan. Dude, is like Friza and Goku fucking working together. This is, I mean, I guess it's on the same level. First of all, why would you go to New York City in a situation?

like this. Yeah, there's nothing. There's nothing. They're going from Georgia to New York. That's not even a hard thing to do. But it's just like... I feel like it is in the apocalypse.

Well, I feel like there's so much like, why New York? Like, look, guys, I'm going to be real with you, right? New York's a great place to go maybe now if you don't mind the smell of ass and air. But like, in a situation where for every dead person, there is a monster

that'll eat you, there is no reason to go to New York. New York is like where it happens. If you have family in New York City, when that shit happens, you got to understand your family's dead. Yeah, of course. You're like, oh, they're gone. That's it. All of my, all 98 of my cousins are dead.

I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that. I got to go on. New York is turned into fucking like, uh, fucking vermin tide. New York, New York looks like the upside down. Like that place is ruined. You can't go there. Even upstate, I would be like my grandma's gone.

Like I can't go save her. Like, there's nothing there anymore. Yeah. Even here. I feel like going to Cuba's like a good idea. You're going to the island. They should went to fucking Savannah and sailed. Like, why fucking, like, if you're in Georgia, go to the coast and leave the mainland.

You'll probably find an island just chill there for the rest of time. Yeah, this chill there. Learn how to fish. That's it. And just be like, well, I'm never going to see people again. That's it. I just hope Negan blows her back out. And then like after he, after he bust, he just smashes her head too.

That's the last. That's the series finale. That's the series. That's the pilot. That's Neat. I don't He fucks her He fucks the shit out of her

Leaves her like Adriana Chetachick And then gets up Gets Lucio Batch Batch Hose her eyes Come up

All right We gotta we gotta We gotta fucking go I wanted to talk about This little band Anything But like Okay

Oh right But we'll We'll get to it We'll get to it By then By next week I'm sure there'll be more to say I might make a video

You look like you're Cooking in your room Dude You look like you're Literally being cooked right now Yeah, you look like there's fog in your, like red toxic fog. Dude, he's got the fucking zombie spores coming in his fucking room.

It looks like those sections in The Last of Us where you're like going through the spores. Ellie put your mask on, Ellie. I don't need it, jail or Joel. I said jail. Jail. Jail. I don't need a jail. That's not a bad name for a person if detached from the fact that, you know,

shut up. He's like those white girls like good Spanish. names they had different meanings. Plamedia. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about, dude? My name is jail. Cramedia. It means with God within.

It's like, shut on it. My name is jail, and I hope I don't get my head bashed in. I tell you what. I'll tell you what. All right, let's get to the fucking question. Archbuster wrote in. He says, greetings Miles Morales that gave up. Howard Jones, the European jigolo, and Idubs plus Steve Smith from American Dad.

Cool. Wow. That's all of us there. Way to go. I won't be reading the rest of your question, Arkbuster, because you hurt me. You hurt my feelings, therefore you should. Emmett Daly wrote it. No.

If you can master any fictional weapon or non-fictional, which would it be? Avoid vehicles or firearms because they're too easy? Wait, no, you can't do that. You can't avoid. I'll say vehicles, yeah, okay. Vehicles aren't weapons, technically speaking. Although, by all means, I've seen people make good. use of them.

Bro, I saw a video recently in Saudi Arabia where a vehicle was tumbling. And instead of people running, they were looking at it and I saw an arm flying to the air without a person attached to it. That's pretty cool. That'll happen. Why are you watching Saudi Arabian snuff films? Don't worry about me. Are you compensating for live leak being gone?

Hey, bro, I need my fix still, right? Yeah. I'm recovering, but I'm not cured yet. Remember how you said? Remember how you said you don't do that anymore? No, I don't. It's just Twitter's fuck, dude. No, it's, I, I, it's because I, it's because the shit I like on Twitter in general is already pretty zany.

So they're just like, here's, here's, here's, here's hood fights. And I'm like, all right, that was kind of funny. That guy got kicked in the back of head. That's kind of funny. Then next to you know, it's like, man in Taiwan turned into missile. And it's like, what the fuck? I feel like, you're just, and then I have to not interested. I'm not interested in that.

I can't see that every day. It's still your fault. Avoid vehicles or firearms are too easy. Thanks for the last during RPG grinds and accompanying me on long drives between Houston and Dallas, four to six hours. Well, thank you for your support, my guy. Hell yeah.

Your patronage means the fucking world. You help me live. You help us all. But, man, mastering any weapon, fictional or non-fictional, I feel like a fictional is obviously the way to go. fuck cares if you could master a I want to AK-47 if you could just put a new way

Gallo horn up I want the new Lancer and gears Oh that thing New one yeah the new one sexy bro What's the what's the difference Between the new one and the old one It looks different

The old one's just like a Just like a bayonet at the end Essentially Oh the normal so just the Lancer Well yeah but there's you know There's two there's There's old There's the retro Lancer is the one with

Retro Lancer With the blade yeah Yeah but yeah just the Lancer Lancer I just want that thing because it's so stupid. That is a fucking cool gun. Like I've seen replicas of that gun many times, and I've thought to my...

I've really wrestled with whether or not I want to buy it because it just looks so damn ridiculous that you can't help it. You can't help it smile when you see it. It is just like one of those, like, what a joyful weapon this is. It's a sexy as weapon, bro. I'm just like, where's the...

Where you put the gas in it? Because it's like, there's exhaust. coming out of it. Yeah, yeah. It is such an insane. It is such a baffling. It is an insane weapon. Like,

I, it could, that weapon could only exist in a video game. I actually think it's too ridiculous for anime, even. Really?

Like, it's just, it is such an absurd premise. Like, I mean, like, I guess, I guess you have chainsaw man in anime,

which is like even more ridiculous. But that's ridiculous in a way that, like, is so absurd that that could only be an anime, you know what I mean? But like a gun,

just some big, beefy guy who's just, just a person, carrying around a gun with a gas can in it with chainsaw bayonet that doesn't fully make sense even just the way it's built.

Like it is so damn cool. I love it. Like chainsawing through people in that game is still satisfying. I was playing with Eyeblind recently. We were doing a horde. Split screen because I remember when you could do that. And it was dope as hell. Man, that is a fun weapon. I don't fault you for the answer.

That's a good one. By the way, we're going to break your fucking rule on no firearms. You're insane. I need it. Yeah, yeah, it's too good. I would say, man, I'm thinking, for some reason, what's on my mind is that hammer, or not the hammer, the, um, the fucking axe from God of War. Oh, the Leviathan axe? That's really good.

I feel like the Leviathan axe is pretty damn cool. That would be amazing. Yeah, or the Blades of Chaos. Honestly, both of those are pretty fucking. It would be awesome, but it makes another thing that makes zero sense how it works. Weapons with chains on them? It's just like how they, well, if you look at them resting, the chains are probably like three feet long. And then they just somehow, literally magic, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Like 20 feet long. And they're just something like, and then they're, I'm like, where is it coming from? I love it. I don't give it shit. I don't need it to make sense. But at least the ax is just, all right.

it's just you can summon it back and forth and it can free shit that's pretty cool I think I would pick that I think that's the coolest one that is that's a good choice actually especially because it's like doubles as I think the blades of chaos I'll go blades of chaos because they function

as a grappling hook also oh yeah so like that would that would bring me all the joy that I would need I mean I can't wait to beat up some freaking elves and the Ragnarok I can make the fact that little black girl I'm like kill that little black girl

freaking ain't god of work Damn. You didn't see a little black girl? What are you talking about? A little black girl in God of War. You didn't notice her. It's so, I look so weird right now.

I look so weird on the camera. You look like you're baking. I look like, I don't know, it's, there you guys, better. What character are you talking about?

She's a little black girl. You haven't seen her? A little young black girl? Yeah, she's a giant. She's a giant. I don't know she's a mother of monster. She's some shit. I mean,

I can't even kill her. She's a, she's a giant. I'm sure of it. All right. What's your answer? Oh, I don't know. Either like

Virgil's Yamato's I can teleport places and like cut space or Excalibur Could you It's like a take over the UK My right for my right It'd be mine.

It'd be mine It's just my now I do like the Yamado I do like that because I would just Walk into banks Just take all their money With Excalibur Excalibur

be the UK would be mine. By right, I am the king, you have to give me this. The king doesn't hold power though anymore. Bro, no. But I, no, I take over the royal family because I'm the one that holds Excalibur.

If he slew King Charles, I think he would have power. I think something would just happen. Like, I think it still works that way or something. I'd be like, hey, look, this is it. Let me have mine. This is mine now. You fucking.

try to kill King Charles. No, I wouldn't try. It blocks it with his sausage figures. No, he would simply do. Snaps the blade in half with his fucking huge hands. No, dude, his Excalibur, bro. No, dude.

He'd be like, he'd be like, Have you seen those fingers? And I would just. Those fingers would stop anything. Nah, man. It's a magical weapon, bro. They'd be like, oh shit, Kingston.

Could you imagine how fucking weird that'd be? They'd be like, yo, Kingston's the rifle air to Arthur's kingdom, bro. You're underestimating King, Charles, man. King Kingston. I'd sit on my throne and I'd get real gaunt.

I'd get real gaunt. Do you immediately like start speaking British? Would you like, do your accent change? Are you like all in posh now? I just start saying the N-word vapidly though and making everybody uncomfortable inside of the fucking the, the mess on shit. All right. Do you still go on like this?

This is how you sound now. Anyone that wraps like that gets beheaded. Let's say no more British drill. anyone who's caught rapping this way shall face the king's judgment I'm just sitting on my throne I'm trying to think of other like insane

Or lightsaber obviously lightsabers are fucking cool Lightsaber is without the force though It's kind of useless I mean it's still an ultra deadly weapon But yeah it's not as useful Yeah I would say like if the scarab gun was real Who Or like Tony Stark's armor I guess

or like... That's not a weapon. What? If he's gonna say avoid vehicles, then like I assume he also means like armor. But, mionnier, I guess.

Oh, the hammer? Yeah, that'd be cool. Yeah, I thought about that when I thought about the axe. They're basically the fucking same. Yeah. But, uh, all right, let's move on. Emmett Daly wrote it.

His knees. Yeah, he's got strong ass knees and be fucking falling from that high and leaping that high up. I'd want his arms, I think, because I'd want to be able to web swing. I want his knees on this. He's got a fucking fat ass, bro, true.

I want Dick Brisson's ass. Emmett Daly wrote in. Hey guys, simple question. Who was your number one crush in video games or shows slash movies as a kid? Love you, boys. Been following from the start because I needed a new sleepy cast substitute.

Keep up the good work. Nice. High praise. I love that. We get those comparisons a lot, and I always feel they're very undeserved because sleepy cabin is such a a fucking insane show.

I would love the chance for us to all sit around just the shit. Like if they somehow got sickby cast back, somehow that would be amazing. And it was all like nine of us just sitting around shooting the shit. That would be an amazing. Not to mention we're friends with most of Sikipi Kass who is insane. Are all of it actually? No, we know all of them, right? I think I're overdue.

I think we're overdue because you had Zach in episode zero, right? Yeah, he was like the first guest. We should, you know what? That'll, uh, that'll happen. Hell yeah. Yeah. But yeah, fucking. The number one crushing.

The number one crush. Oh, oh, Kimberly was. The Pink Ranger. Yeah. I have a video on my, I was watching. I was rewatching Power Rangers in 2018. And there is a shot that is specifically like, it was like perverse. Basically, they're like looking around.

Kimberly is wearing just the crop top and these these tattered jean shorts and like it's angled directly she's in front she's not the leader right but it's angled I was like they know exactly what they're doing I love this thank you so much Saban and

whoever the fuck else shot this American shit you know it was I I look like that now you're gonna you what my screen looks so different nothing nothing continue oh it's because you're done you're not cooking anymore.

You literally did your 400 degrees for 20 minutes. So scared. Continue talking. I don't know why you derailed this just to talk about your fucking screen. But yeah, yeah, Pink Ranger. That was a good one as a kid. I used to, I need to watch this game because Hocus Focus 2 just came out recently, right? And I haven't seen the original one.

Oh, my God. I haven't seen the original one in like since I was a kid. but I remember Sarah Jessica Parker in that movie looking like bomb but I need to watch it again and see if that's like true or if I was just a dumb kid that that fell for the

she's singing that like seductive song about you know stealing kids and doing God knows what with them you know as an adult context is a kind of weird that movie I think they were just stealing kids and trafficking them or something yeah it happens

It happens from time of time. It's not my problem. But, yeah, man. I don't know. There's a couple. There's a couple that I remember. Like, I think specifically, the one that sticks out to me is Black Cat from Spider-Man the Animated Series.

I remember that very, very vividly. Yeah. Because that was unreal. That was, like, ridiculous. Still is. But. It was specifically supposed to be video games. I forgot.

It's just like movies or television and video games. It's pretty much anything. Okay. I don't know. It was difficult for me to. I don't think I had crushes on real people when I was like a child You know what I mean?

Like, Because I was just like, I don't even understand what that means. But like, I knew what whoever the fuck was drawing black cat was doing a good thing. Yeah, that's, that's all,

it was, it was good. But when I was like a really little kid, the first real human crush that I had was, was the girl from spy kids, the sister. For whatever reason. I heard,

yeah, Alexa Vega or whatever. And I just looked her up. It's hilarious. You know, she has, kids now and you know what

one of her kids' name is uniron I'm not even joking her son's name is Kingston James Vega which is hilarious that's terrible

isn't that crazy that's weird yeah poor kid bro and you know what I feel justified in that by the way because like she was in machete

machete machete kills and you know what not bad You're still attracting the young lives. Not bad at all. There you go. That was the first one.

That was the first real human person. Right. Yeah. Because yeah, like stuff like, because there's Chun Lee and specifically I was mesmerized because I was a huge wrestling fan.

So Armica in Street Fight Offer 3 was like ridiculous. Because Chunley's thighs was already a thing. They just brought in Armica. And. It's bros. For me, for me, it was Cammy, like, the whole time. Cammy was always cool.

I liked Cammy. But there was something about, I just know nothing against the Brits, man. Just whenever, like, I heard her speak in, like, the animated movie, I was like, ugh. I was just like, I think so out of focus. I didn't watch the anime. I don't matter. I watched all. The only thing I would recommend is you just watching just Vega versus Chun Lee.

That's it. Dude, they show tities and that thing, man. Well, in, yeah, in the. What? In the, there's a non-sensored version. Oh, what? There's a non-sensor version where she's showering and stuff. They show her titty.

That's crazy. Where would I find that? Well, they have an American version because, like, the movie came out in America. There's no titties in that version. That's crazy. I'm not looking that up right now. No. No, it's crazy.

I'll remember seeing it. And showing her tits. I didn't remember. If you saw it as, you probably didn't see it as a kid because they, trust me, I was a street fighter, Mark. they didn't have the version in America because they had it show in America as well so you had you had to get you had to get like an

unrated version or whatever if you wanted to see actual tits or whatever I remember I remember watching it recently like I remember seeing a scene recently and it showed her tities and I was like yeah if you saw it recently a dozen times I never saw her titty look he's watching it out but that's exactly

what I'm talking about they didn't have that's great I love that that's wonderful I've seen it on, like, you know, cable TV. I saw it. I also have an old anniversary edition of Street Fighter. I forgot which it's... This had the 25th, so this must have been 15 or whatever the fuck it was. And then they had that movie on it as well, and they didn't have the tits on that version.

I was pissed off because I'm like, bro, this is, like, what are you doing to me? That's all, that I wanted to see. I didn't even care about watching the movie. Just going to delete this from my history real funny. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's that, yeah, it's that vulgar. It's that explicit.

Well, no, it's just, I don't Oh, because what, you typed in Chunley Tits or something? I typed in Chunley Shower uncensored Which took me to, you know, a site Hell yeah That I don't want on my computer Generally, that's a good fight though I highly recommend that fight, like say

If you, it's a, it's a, it's a, I got my fill I got my fill, I'm good Yeah, all right Anyone else, anyone else I got my roof before hit, I'm fine All right, yeah, fair enough And if you watch Street Fighter 2V, there's a scene where Ryu and Guy will have sex. That's a sick.

That's my favorite scene. I mean, nothing. I hate that scene. All right. And it's awkward because, uh, uh, Giles and adult in Rio 17. Just thought I put that out there. That's crazy. Gile is fucking twisting them up.

It's a Japanese game, though. So he's basically a fucking elder. Oh, God. You're 18? Oh, my God. You're fucking spoiled goods. You're useless. I like him in a weird.

I like him. ancient. Oh my God. How much trauma have you been through? You're fucking 17. Jesus Christ. What,

do you have eight kids? I'm sorry. I'm sorry if anybody's from Japanese listening to this. Nope, I'm not. But we love our Japanese inwards. No, I'm not.

That shit's gross. Anyway, let's go on. Crash Bandicoot calling Cortex the Heart R road. And he says, say some, say some off-brand fallout shit happens,

and you wind up surviving the apocalypse in some sort of protected facility. You've woken up Then you've woken up by people who survived above ground for centuries later. And it turns out that the facility you're in has perfectly preserved libraries of all recorded music. What's the first song you play over the loudspeakers and why? I'd personally choose 50 and 5 by Hilltop Hoods.

Just to give the new society a quick rundown on the bullshit and war crimes that have happened. I wouldn't want that. Why would you do that? Why would you just thrust them into being sad? The first song, I haven't heard me. music. You know? You wouldn't know.

You'd be like, you'd be like, oh, whoa. Oh, well, then it means nothing because it will have been

like a couple days at max. Let me see if I remember the next. You're woken up by people who have survived above ground centuries later and it turns out the facility perfectly present. What's the first song?

Caramel dancing. I'm not picking, I'm picking, I'm picking seventh chamber of by Wooten clan. I'm going to pick caramel dancing. I would say I want to fuck you with the ass by Out There Brothers. I would say Scott Pilgrim versus the world ruined an entire generation of women.

Is that a song? Yes. By whom? She did that. It's, it's, uh, I don't remember. Oh my God. It's not very good, by the way. It sucks.

Yeah. It's just a cool name. It's just a, it's just a ridiculous. It's by. I think John Lennon's song It's by negative It's by negative XP Negative XP

What the hell Yeah Says a lot That names is volumes Yeah it does Yeah Yeah Champion gear

Jit Jit Jitjit We'll get your boots Knocked Then attack you like a pit Then lock shit down Shut the hell And I praise the sound We're giving you more and more

Like being I always see white people playing that song No you fucking don't You know what I heard That's ass That's ass You know what I heard for the first time? I'm pretty sure there's a Seth Rogen fucking video.

Like, I swear. He might be listening to that song, but like that, dude, we live in Cali. I don't know any white Californians that know that song, bro. Fuck, well, there's a movie. I swear, I swear there's a movie with, I, it's remember seeing, like, weed and, like, his ugly face and then hearing that song. Do you remember? Seven Chivers? Maybe it was a Panopal Express.

Maybe. You know what I heard for the first time recently? What? in a long time that fucking Lincoln Park fucking oh my god was it was a P. Diddy who did it?

Who the fuck did that? Yeah whatever. What fuck? Fucking, uh, was it Jay Z? Yes. Why would Jay Z work with Lincoln Park? That seems so bizarre.

Oh yeah, the re-the, the re-animated or something? They made an album together, I'm mistaken. I think, did it make a whole album was just one song. It was, no, it was a whole album. They,

they, uh, they did mashups. They were like, they did mashups before that shit, I think they created that fucking phenomenon. That's like a wild. A hardcore is a crazy popular song, dude.

That's them. I don't know, man. It's insane. That's a very popular song. It is a very popular song, but I haven't heard it in a long day. It's a very dated song. It's more dated for whatever reason than the original version of that song that they're sampling from Lincoln Park or that like obviously that song's based on.

It's so very specific to that time. It's insane Do you want more Cookin' raw with the Brooklyn boss One last time we make some noise What the hell are you waiting for So bizarre Yeah

Yeah 2005 What the hell are you waiting for Oh my god I remember that I just like looking up a lot I become so gay I've been so come I can

feel you come when I must come we are all just come those are the lyrics I'm waking up to ass full of come all right Brie Larson took method acting too far and metamorphosized into an actual lake sturgeon rodent say greetings devious Chris uh wait what is it devious dris delicious dweenie and dastardly Derek well that's not fair What if Jarjar Binks had been voiced by Keith David instead? That would have been fired. Oh, Misa Jarjar.

Misa Annie, you must get out of time. Misa actually a Sith Lord. I hate that. I hate that theory. Dude, it's a prevalent theory, man, and it makes sense. It's good. It actually makes sense. But that's what I don't like about it is that it makes sense. It shouldn't.

That would be like, how would I even say this? It feels so loose that it, it's, it feels so loose that it, It can't be, but at the same time, it makes so much sense that it might have actually been. Well, I feel like George Lucas dropped the ball by saying, did not claiming it to be so. I would have, if I were George Lucas, I would have been like, yes, that's what I meant the entire time. And all of a sudden, he's back on top as being like a fucking genius. Everyone that gave him shit about Jar Jar Jar and all this other stuff, all of a sudden, we're like, I'm sorry, I apologize. The definition of back on top is very loose.

Then he makes Howard the Duck Part 2. Then he makes, what else did he do? I don't remember. I'm actually astounded they haven't made a Howard the Duck movie yet. He's going to be a Next Guardian's. The holiday special? Well, yes, and also the movie. Wait, wait, say again?

What? What? He's going to be a next Guardian movie. Yeah, there's a Guardian's a holiday special. That, I don't know. Yeah, that's what I thought your reaction would be. It's a reasonable reaction. It's like, all right.

It's funny because it harkens back to the time in Marvel Comics where Thanos let Gomorra celebrate Christmas when she was a kid. What? That's real. That's like when Dr. Doom was crying at 9-11 or something where it's like... I have that kind. Own that comic, bro. That comic is worth a lot of money. I own the, um, I own the, uh, the ultimate collection with that comic in it.

and it's worth like a few thousand dollars. That's crazy. And I got it and I was reading it and I was just like, Dr. Doom, how many times have you tried to take ultimate power? Whatever, dude. Yeah, 9-11 serious. Oh my God, this is so funny.

So Bastion Head, Bastion Head Joel is the last guy. Last question here. Nice. He says, hey, howdy, hey lads, and potential lass. Don't know what that means. What did you guys think of telltales,

rise and fall. I really love their interpretation of Batman and how they handled Borderlands with Wolf Among Us being one of my favorite games ever. What have your experiences with Telltale been like? I just totally skipped my mind but we were just talking about the Walking Dead earlier

just by sheer fucking coincidence. But I only played the Walking Dead season one. I tried that 400 day thing. It was like the it wasn't the season two but it was like that weird interstitial game they did in between it. And I was like

I don't care. And so I didn't, I didn't fuck with it. I played a little bit of Wolf Among us. I was like, yeah, this is better, but like, tell tell's game engine is fucking horrible. It's silly. I love it. And it's crazy because it doesn't need to do anything

other than just play animations. You know, there's no physics. There's no nothing. But I think that's what makes it so charming. Like, I like Telltale games, honestly. Like, as much as they're like kind of shit, I think they're fun. I think they're fun as fun Because there's a jank to them for sure

They're not They're not like I'm not playing a telltale game For like Fucking mechanics You know I'm playing it to an experience And that experience is fine You know

It's like me Like I shit on I'm fucking deaf stranding all the time For it barely being a video game And more of a simulator But that's what you're playing it for You know you're playing it for The interaction between you and a terrain

So I enjoy What telltale games are You know even though it's kind of silly. Because, you know, there's fucking dragging, starting off an encounter, and you're looking at the floor of the zombies coming at you, and you've got to get your fucking thing over them and focus it to shoot them. Like, that's silly, but that's a good time.

Yeah, I mean, they're okay. Yeah, I've had fun playing whatever, played a little bit of the Batman. I even played that Game of Thrones thing that never actually finished. Oh, yeah. That's right. I forgot they had a Game of Thrones thing, and then the show got worse. Yeah, it was based on the game of Thrones thing, and then the show got worse. Yeah, it was based on.

the Red Wedding, the first episode or whatever. And then I was like, oh, it's interesting. And then it just never materialized. I'm like, oh, all right. Then the company got fucking shut down. Yeah.

That's why I never put the last season in The Walking Dead because at the time, they were going through some bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. I think for me it was just the episodic content. I didn't like, I still don't really.

Like, I don't like episodic content in the form of video games. I don't. Because a full, length video game is already by itself episodic because you will you'll pick them up and then you'll put them down you'll pick them up or they'll be chapters or something right where it's like okay yeah but you know just playing the first episode of something and then like oh the next one will be on a couple months and it's like I don't know if I care to wait that long to experience all like I

feel like those games would be would have been better off just being released as one big like game as opposed to just this weird kind of partial release. I get what they were doing. They were trying to mimic TV, but that works for TV because TV is passive, and you're not going to be distracted by like a million other things immediately. And so to me, I was just like, oh, the Walking Dead Season 2 is out. Yeah, I mean, yeah, if that's fair, because I didn't play the games.

I only played them when they were readily available. Right, exactly. Yeah, so, yeah, I understand what you mean by that. yeah I didn't I tried the Batman one and the reason I didn't it wasn't out it wasn't completely out

and then I was like fuck this and I forgot about it yeah you fall you fall off it you're more likely to fall off of something like that yeah because it isn't enough to keep you enthralled I don't know I enjoyed it for what it was

I definitely didn't play him when he released obviously because I wasn't fucking doing that yeah that's most people that's why their company doesn't exist anymore because all of us had this exact same experience but no the book of manga is coming out too

it's back no well they're not back though Telltale is gone Telltale is gone Like they don't exist They're bringing that game back They hired some of the original people from Telltale To do that that border

Tales from the Borderlands game That they Or like the Because they're making a sequel to that And I think Wolf Among Us is coming back But that's going to be handled by The new telltale Which is like a bunch of new people

Let me see I could be wrong But telltale games Do they have a website? Is it functioning? Tall tale Yeah Yeah so this is

It's just like, yeah, Teltale exists still technically, but this is, it's the old name with a bunch of new people. So, I mean, it might be, I don't know, it might be good. I've heard good things about The Wolf Among Us, but I don't know what it is. I just can't get myself to sit down and download these fucking things and play through them because I just, I feel like I would just rather be playing mostly anything else.

Mostly anything. Yeah. I don't know. I might play him with my lady or something, because those are always, that's the best way to play, I really like some really likes those games. That's the only way I can get, that is the only way I can get.

through those games, to be honest with you. Like, like, Detroit Become Human was one of those where it's like, oh, that's a good game, but also like, eh, it's better with a person, you know, to argue about choices with. Man, that was around that time when everybody just kept putting celebrities in video games.

I was like, what the fuck's going on? Is it? Is it a... Is it a... Raylor Man that game? Uh, there's a... Mr. Crabs is in it. He's in it? Yeah, Clancy Brown.

Clancy Brown plays... Clancy Brown plays a cop. who you're like who hates robots and you're like an android who's like in the police force or something yeah it's not bad it's pretty good i i'm i mean i'll pick it up man for a few bucks it's a good game to play with it with a partner because that's the only way that's how i was doing it was that guy jesse williams is the main guy um he was from that uh doctor uh gray's anatomy i think he was on the yeah probably yeah and then um what was it that quantum game or whatever where they put another celebrity.

Quantum Break? Was that it? That was one of them. Yeah. That was like, they were doing this for a minute. Like even Halo 5 Guardians, they put in,

uh, uh, what's his name? Luke Cage? Yeah. Yeah, well, I think what's happening.

He wasn't it, right? Yeah, it's Mike Coulter's body is, is Agent Locke. That's, that's the, well, that's what it is,

though, it's like a lot of facial capture and like body capture. So it's like, oh, we might as well just, you know, instead of making a,

a fucking person from scratch and then having them be voiced by somebody, you might as well just scan the person because it's just easier to animate. It's easier to fucking get all that stuff done. So you're going to see that a lot still. Like, I'm pretty sure there's a bunch of video games that are in development now that have a bunch of people attached.

Like, I'm sure the next Hideo-Kajima game is going to have all sorts of random. Like, Death Stranding is... Death Stranding is Norman Reides, Guillermo del Toro, Nicholas Winding Refin, and fucking Margaret Qualey. That's like a... That is an insane cast. He loves his white actors, bro.

He's like, I want to make the perfect American move. I think that's what he does. I think that's his goal. He wants to make the perfect American family. He wants to out America, America. And I fully support him in that journey. I don't because I don't think he's ever going to do it. But I think he has.

In which one? The entire original Middle Year Solid trilogy is American as fuck. It is insane. I would say. two's the least American, but three is really American. Two is wildly American. Two is wildly like, two is wildly, like,

two is wildly mimical. That game ends with a samurai fight in New York City. On top of a metal gear. And then you fight a metal gear afterwards. That game is so fucking insane. It's about finding out who you are and being yourself,

Jack. It's like, yo, Jack. Why haven't we gotten a remaster of these fucking games. Like, isn't that weird? Konami won't let happen, literally. Konami's coming back, though. Konami is back and, like, they're actually doing things again, which is insane. They're going to be like, look, we would do that, but Kojima would come back, and then he would spend $8 million on recording a song again, and we're not fucking having that. Dude, did you guys hear about that? He spent like $5 million re-recording a song.

What song? a song for I'm freaking five. Oh, wow. What do you mean? He spent like five million dollars re-recording a song because he kept like, I don't like the way the song sounds re-recorded and he kept doing it until the point that they were like, yo, dude, look, look, we get who you are, bro. We get it. But chill.

I don't know what you're... They remade up that money with fucking Metal Gear Survive. They remit that money with the Pocinco machines. So I can't find. anything about this. Polenko machines. Are you sure this is real? I read an article about it.

You got to just look for it and you will find it. I Google searched Kojima $5 million song and it's nothing, there's nothing. I'll find out in a chat. I know there's a mean sent it to me and he would know.

Kojima maybe expensive song? No, there's nothing. This isn't real. This sounds like a satire thing almost. Maybe it was like a hard drive.

article or something. That would be hilarious. I mean, the only thing I see is, is Kunami, like, every year saying or it's saying Konami is annoyed by Kochiua is spitting too much money. That's all I see. And, like, every year. It's, like, articles from, like,

different years of, like, Kanami rolling their eyes at, like, I feel like, I feel like, for his predictions, for his kind of games, you got to just be like, look, you give him a blank check and be like, look, just don't go overboard, right? And then he immediately gets Norman Reattis.

And you're like, whatever, it better be good. And you just send them out. Yeah, I don't know. All I know is that a remake of a Metal Gear Solid would make a... Particularly one. I think one is very due for a remake. It would make a killing. Yeah, it's crazy to me that one was...

One needs it the most. I think two and three are like perfectly replayable still. Yeah, I think two looks rough, but that's fine. But we need one. We need a remake of one. Right. Absolutely. It would be so good.

The thing is, like, two and three look like they're from the generations that they're from. But they're also playable. Like, they're not, like, so frustrating that, like, one is... I would be happy if Twin Snakes was more available. Like, it's just a GameCube fucking exclusive or, I guess if you have an emulator, but still. That's the excuse they use as to why they won't remake it because, like, oh, we already did that with Twin Snakes. It's like, all right, we'll put it out again. Which one is Twin Snakes again?

Twinsnakes is just the No, it's just one, isn't it? Yeah, it's just the game, it's just the remake. It's just the, it's just a remaster on GameCube exclusively. Oh, okay. And it's fucking annoying because I'm like, oh, it looks really good. And, and it's, I, who the fuck? It's so funny, it's so funny that we're clamoring for, uh,

it's so funny that we're clamoring for a fucking remake of Middle Gerselot One when it was literally like one of the first remakes ever. I know, right? Yeah. That and, uh, I remember they remade, uh, they remastered, uh, Reson Evil 2 on Dreamcastles. Yeah. That was so quick. And R4.

Dude, you know how many times remastered the R4 exist? Bro? Well, they remastered that game before remastering. No, they didn't remaster it. They just,

they just upresed it. They upresed it. They upresed it again. Ported it, ported it again. No, but that's different. Twin Snakes is like a different game straight up. Oh really?

It's not just a, yeah, Twin Snakes is not just Metal Gear Solid one up res. They like remade it. Yeah, they did. Yeah, they actually, It's a proper rebaster, and it looks great for the time. It looks great for the time.

I played official, Margarzold one. And that one had some of my favorite moments. The fact that Liquid Headbutts you was hilarious to me. The fact that you're fighting Liquid on like an elevator going up or down, I can't remember which way it's going, and Liquid runs at you and Head Butts You. It's like, this guy is headbutting me. They're just like, I can just imagine, though, some of the scenes that, some of the fight, the boss,

a remake, like a proper remake right now, some of the boss battles would be so fucking cool nowadays. Psycho Mantis would be amazing. I don't know how you would do Psychomans. Cycomat. Psychomats would be really kind of tricky. Yeah, I mean, they'll probably figure something out to make it all fucking. Fucking Grey Fox. Seeing like a modern Grey Fox design to be fucking wild.

Me cool. I want to fight that big ass black dude, raven. Do you remember when they made PT and they were like, there was like a whole thing about like, the Silent Hills game that that game was a teaser of was supposed to have like you would give the game your phone number

and like you would have to give the game you would have to give them consent of course but there was a thing in that game where if you gave them your phone number that like you would get harassed basically by the game like while you were playing it

so like fuck with you I don't remember that ball that game was really cool but I love that I don't know It just felt like That game didn't need to be a Silent Hill game at all From what I saw But it was the beginning

It was like the alpha of it So we had no way it was just It wasn't even the alpha It was just a separate team The whole point was to make you think it wasn't Silent Hill Oh really? Well, he did a good job Because it wasn't called

Because it wasn't called Silent Hill It was called PT And then like you'd beat it And then at the end You would see Silent Hills Because it would be Fucking Norman Redis at the end And you would be like going into the fucking fog

Right right Okay I remember that Norman Reattis was a part Okay, I remember. Yeah. And then, yeah. Norman Reidis. And he was like, he was,

he was, Jim was like, get him. Him. This episode should just be called, we got guests, we got Norman Reattis to be on the show. We should get them on the show.

And be like, yo, why does Joe, like you don't like you so much? He'll be like, honestly. I don't know, man.

I don't even speak to him. I don't know what he's saying. I've never, I've never, I've never even met the man. He leaves him for I get there. He's just been photoshopped into every, he thinks I'm actually, every time.

What's his name in Walking Dead? He thinks I'm actually fucking Darrell. He thinks he's dead. He actually thinks he's Darryl. Like, Darrell, you're so cool. No, he doesn't. How did you survive? I've never seen him before.

How did you survive? He, in fact, leaves the room when I walk in every time. I've seen him in passing. Never talked in once. The Walking Dead is a documentary about the real past. He's like, it's like, I just enamored. Please share your story with me.

He's like, how'd you make it so far? It's like, what do you talk about? I don't know what to tell you? you, man, my name is Norman Redis. I'm an actor. I've been an actor for at least 30 years. I don't know. You know he was in Blade 2? Norman Reyes, yeah. Wait, what? You knew that? He plays the Blades. Okay, never mind. Never, never, never. I mean, at first, I first discovered him in Boondocks, Boondock Saints.

Was that before Blade 2? Yeah, right? Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Like, well before Blade 2. I'm pretty sure. When did Bundy Sings come out? I don't know the year. Is that not like the 80s or like early 90s? No, no, no. It's either late 90s or like probably the turn of the century or something. Boondock Saints. What we got?

Oh yeah, 1999. Yeah. And so Blade 2 was like 2000. Yeah. So not that far to be to be fair. He was in Blade 2 and I was like, that's fucking Norman Rees. What the fuck is he doing? What the fuck is he doing not in PT?

Yeah, and fucking Chris Christoperson. Why are you not in PT? Wasn't Triple H in one of those movies? He was in a third one of the blades. Triple H is in all of them. Triple H has actually, you know that fat fucking ginger kid with the glasses that's an extra in every single movie? No, but continue.

You've never seen that guy? You know what I'm talking about Derek. He's like no like facial hair. Are you talking about that guy? Yeah, he's like a baby looking like fat ginger guy with big glasses and like red short curly hair. He's like been an extra in every. If you look up like the most famous extra, there'll be just video compilations of him in everything. He's in Spider-Man. He's in, like, the office. He's in like, uh, uh, he's got a bag. He's got a bag, bro.

He's in 310 to Yuma or some like, fucking, just like insane. Just like movies where it doesn't make sense. He's got a bag on him for sure, though. He's been into that many things, you know? It's crazy. You know, it's wild. He probably is very poor. He's probably very poor or very much. Man, SAC Africa don't pay that much, man. Yeah, world's, world's greatest extra. Yeah, he's in fucking, yeah, my name is Earl, Bones, The New Adventures of Old Christine.

17 again, the social network, Spider-Man, George Lope, Reno 9-1-1, American Pie, NCIS, grounded for life. He's an American staple technically, based on all the shit he's been into. Yeah, I don't know who the fuck this guy is. You know who was rolled with the most prolific voice actor all time. The guy that does spike

people voice, he's like the most prolific voice. Oh, Steve Blum. Yeah, he's like the most prolific of all time.

Well, no, well, prolific, what do you mean? Like he's like, he's the most notable voice actor of all time.

A little voice actor of all time probably is him. It's crazy. The guy you have probably has the, the, probably has the most roles because he does

the animals. De Bradley Baker by a, by a considerable metric is, is, Steve Bradley Baker does animal sounds. They don't even record animals. They record

him. That blows my mind. He's taking work from like tigers and elephants and shit. That's kind of fucked up, honestly, man. Oh, well, it's not my, it's not my fight. It's not my cross. I'm not going to fight for these fucking animals.

This guy's making out some blonde and he actually looks like he actually knows how to like make a kiss. So that's pretty crazy. Why are you staring at his lips like that? Why you lick your lips down? That's all you. I'm looking at both of them. And he's not just awkwardly, like, never seen like an awkward Where he's like fumbling and shit.

No way. He's not. Jesse Hyman? What an unfortunate last name, too? Yeah, that's a poor guy. The hyman broke. Oh, no, he's not dead. Never mind.

Yeah, I was like, there's no, there's nothing that says he is. I just saw a thing that said he was. It was just like some, I don't know, why would somebody just lie about somebody being dead? Uh, one of it. Anyway, anyway,

let's, uh, Remember 4chankers? Let's get out of here. Yeah. Let's get out of here. Let's get out of here. All right.

That's fine. If you like what you heard today, consider supporting us over at patreon.com slash the snark tank. We've got a higher tier, $25 that they get a credit at the end. So I'm going to go ahead and fucking read all those.

I'm sure they're going to be very fun to fucking read. Yeah. Count me down. Three, two, one. Your most alcohol fan by far, the superstitious reincarnation of white Tom Sweeney. Stop.

Come, man, the man of cum. Indy Butterknife, the Brenword. Derek, please wake up. Andrew Tate's Tasty Taint. Tom Sweeney's crippling porn addiction, parentheses, it's all Star Wars of War. It's a lot. I love it is, though. Starvores.

You missed pretty good. Stinky. 3XO, learning his father is a flat earther and his dad not wanting to listen to an explanation of the earth being around. The milkman that looks like Chris returns, and I've come from my son. Sweeney, quickly. There's a Twitter account called Sweeney's Guide. Go there and scan the code to see a video, not a scam.

Rectal Lacerator. Emojis going like this. Stormboy's life and what he like. Sweeney eagerly digging up Reagan's crusty corpse in order to suck his cock once more. Nice. Oh, geez. Once more. I hate you.

A lot of implications. Tricle down economics. I'll give you something To trickle down Tax cuts for my rich buddies It's called trickle down economics Because I pee my pants Your noble truth

I have no urethra And I'm swelling with cum I can't feel my fingers Don't drinks What don't drinks Dacqueries Oh my God man You gotta fucking fix with your writing

Don't drink dacheries Do drugs Drugs define divinity Drinking definitely drastically damages dope dads. Call her Little Caesars the way Pete's the way you're pussy hot and ready. Elsie Bray's pyramid scheme, aka drip M.H.

Nancy Pelosi killing a Palestinian with her massive tits. Obi won't you blow me. God, why did I move to the swamp land? God, I moved to Florida to save me. Never mind, Sweeney, I just realize you have swamp ass. I'm coming for Chris's butt instead. XOXO. Big Papa Shack. Kremlin the Gremlin, Binkus Stinkis,

the man uppercutting 9-11 jumpers before they hit the ground. Jay. Mitch McConnell's tortoise shell. off the wall. Hi, I'm Mega Man X8 guy and no joke 2009 299 is my favorite Spider-Man. I'm serious here. Abby, welcome to Andrew Tate's

Kidnap Women and Little Dick and Porium, fragile masculinity sold separately, wage slate, 583. Signor, Alberto, Jose, Juan Carlos, Gustavo, Gonzalez, Julio, Don Ramon, Ramon, Vincent A El Torresado. I feel gay, fuck you. Dead inside. The Papini Brothers and Porin with Bulletfield uncles and pepperoni

pizza gliders. Scrincus. Hey guys, I just got a new Can everyone say hello to Zoom before me? Your dog's not new anymore, my guy. You got to change. You should say my dog is still here. Initial D is a good anime.

Prove me wrong. Never seen it. I have PPSD. Fun fact, bananas can improve memory function. My girlfriend put one in my ass three months ago and I haven't forgotten. That's a good bit to be honest with you. Not bad.

Not bad. at all. Like if you said that on an open mic, I might laugh. Yeah, yeah. Tell him Steve. It actually got me. Yeah, it's a good little... Yeah. Tell him Steve, Dave. Andrew Tate is missing because God's sex traffic came back. John Strickland, I don't get why nobody knows Obama's last name. It's clearly bomber. He has been Barack Hussein a bomber this whole time.

Yeah, that's that sucks. Merck's 1889. Alternate Universe Sweeney where he's the same in every way, except he's also a big Reagan supporter. Damn, roast beef and crabs. Call her my little surf and turf. God damn. That is vile, man. That's like a little Wayne bar, dude.

It is. That's like if Little Wayne was a 46-year-old white uncle in the Midwest. That's like something he would say. Call him a little surf and turf. Crabbs. That's fire. That's fire. That's fire.

sickening. The first church of Keith David. Wrong, Chris. Reagan would have made for a better Mario. I don't know. I don't know what you're saying. I don't know what any of this. Why Derek's mouth so dry? My mouth is fucking dry as hell right now. I ran over Jimmy Hapa with my 2003 Silverado. You ran over Jimmy Hafa in 2003?

I love the silence after that. That premise is why. That's a great idea. I love that. Drunken Doolahan, pre-Raz, Los Homo's Hermannos, Blake 896, fucking kill me, Ryan Lucchasey Scout. Dang, my dog be low-key, dead-ass, kind of simp. Respect his drive, though. On God, no cap, for real, for real fresh.

Sheesh. What the fuck is that? What wrote that? Not even who. That's like... Some zoomer waiting to be beaten. That's a millennial for sure. Depraved McBootie warrior, Baba Babbooty, doing the worm while eating her pussy.

Blocked by Steve. shy. Can you imagine seeing that? I want to see it. How is the belch, bro? Eating pussy, then living out a big old... Oh, damn, that was real. What the fuck? You guys are fucking monsters.

Right on a clip. Make that shit fucking dance after you belt on it, bro. Yeah, and then you bust. You fucking geysers on you. You drown and you die like that. You die. Many such cases. Alaskan oil field trash, Sue Hulk. Bone Controller

25, Danny DeVito was a stealth trans man. The gout law. The gout law. Dom became a farmer in Gears 3 because the vegetables remind him of his wife. Whoa. God damn. You didn't have to do that.

Gears 2 is wonderful. Anyway, lobotomized Jesus and his merry band of figurenaggates, the loathsome come eater, first Eldon lord. Load. Sorry. Maria. Maria.

My name is Dominique. Maria. I love you. Yo, what is that accent, man? That is they scared. That's like that, fuck it. That's like a very sheltered Hispanic alien roach guy from men and black. No, that sounds like how they wanted Ricky Ricardo to sound on TV.

And he was like, I'm not going to talk like that. I'm scared. I'm scared. Dominique. My name is Dominique Santiguanic. I'm scared. I don't know like my wife is dead. My wife is dead.

She's still alive, but she's dead by all intents and purposes, man. Marks. That's fucking crazy. I kill my wife with a balkawk pistol, man. He doesn't sound anything like that. I came like a... For clarification.

He sounds like slightly Hispanic. Like, that's all. Dom sounds like... He just sounds like... He just sounds like my cousins who don't have thick accents. Like... Like he, like the most Hispanic thing about Dom is that sometimes he speaks his Spanish, you know. Like he's Spanish.

That's it. Other than that, like he could be like he, he's browner than Marcus, you know, not quite as brown as Cole. Is Marcus Phoenix a white? I feel like Marcus Phoenix is not a white guy. You know what I mean? He definitely is a white guy. He's definitely some Italian dude. I don't know, man.

He doesn't seem Italian to me at all. He seems like Samoan or something. Like there's something about him. That's fucking. There's something about. Marcus Phoenix Like, I don't know, man He's just a standard white guy

He's a white man, bro. I've never seen a, I've never seen a human person look like that. I'll just put it that. For sure, for sure. You're right. It's the bandana that's confusing you That's making them seem a little more ethnic, you know? Maybe.

Maybe that's what it is. Maybe reminds you my cousin fucking, I don't know. Juan Dissimo. Hey, Vato. Come here for a minute. Come here. Is Marcus Maria?

Hispanic? He's white. He's a white man. I'm reading. What is this? The carmines are Italian. What's Marcus? What's Marcus Phoenix ethnicity?

And the first answer is Bender. He's of the Bender race. Can we please continue? Let's just end this episode. We can Google this afterwards. I'm a future robot, Dom. I actually didn't know that. He's Filipino?

No, he's not. Stop listening to these things, Chris. You're just getting fed misinformation. No, he's based on... I get, I can't. What the fuck? That's crazy. He's based on the guy that made it.

Have you seen the guy that made gears? Oh, Cliff Plosinski? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's just fucking... He looks nothing like Marcus Phoenix, my guy. You are out of your mind. He's just a white guy, though.

He's just a white guy. Cliff Plasinski looks like if Chris Hardwick wasn't him. That's the only way I can describe... Like, he just looks like not Chris Hardwick. Why are we talking about Marcus Phoenix's race? Why are we doing this? I suspect, I don't know, man. He's not.

I don't feel like he's a white guy at all. You like him. That's why you want to portray Hispanicness on him because you want to feel closer to him. No, I'm just curious. Obviously, Dominic is Hispanic. That's why I think they wouldn't have two Hispanics in a game. That'd be ridiculous.

Yeah, there's no, that's way too many. That's fucking insane. Too many knife fights. But, uh, Maria, Maria. We don't have enough tortilla in the world to feed those people. Anyway. She remind me of a west side story.

Chris's, Chris's cum-filled cum gutters. The only stick I touch while driving is my penis, parentheses I masturbate while driving. Jackson, App sage, badly brave, Huggardust, Atheirian, Atheirian,

Hunting Ass, Melfis 1, Hex Blade, warlock supremacist, and as always, rounding out our list of top $25 patrons, uh, the King of Hep hazard. lend me your, share your energy with me.

This is not the right color. This is not the right. This is not the color I am. You're looking like a, You're looking like a... I look like a... I look like a black guy from the Simpsons.

You're Apu. You're Apu right now. Yeah, you're... Can I do the accent or whatever I not be able to... No, he's not on TV anymore, so it's fine. He's not? Yeah, they took him out. It's funny that...

He died. He got assassinated. Indian people canceled him, man. That's crazy. He got assassinated in a Simpsons episode. He got shot... You remember that video of the guy getting shot at 7-Eleven? It's that. It's an exact recreation of that, but it's Apu and... What's that white trash motorcycle guy from The Simpsons?

Oh, he's like red hair, right? Do you mean like Snake? The guy, Snake? Yeah, Snake. He's like, yeah, yeah. He shoots Apu in the head. Yeah, he kills him. I thought it was Hindu radicals like how they killed Gandhi.

I thought it was the same thing. But they shot him in the chest. All right, I don't want to talk about this anymore. With a blunderbust. You do not want to talk about my death. Bye everyone. I'll see you, they're going. Bye you.

I'm a good time. Everybody, everybody, this is not racist, it's fine.