The Snark Tank - #141: Chris Ray Gun at Creator Clash 2

Episode Date: January 30, 2023

Chris Ray Gun is taking on Froggy Fresh at the next Creator Clash. PLACE YOUR BETSAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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Dad, tomorrow can we start a band? Can we become robots? Affirmative. Can we go crab battling? That isn't a thing. How about swimming? Dad, can we take a nap? You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal.

Deal. While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials. Book your free click-and-collect slot at tesco.e or in-app. Tesco, every little helps. Terms and conditions apply. All right, let's relax a little bit You know, that animation on I've been on my anime shit lately too, bro

Really? That gets me through cardio Really? He said lately as if that's just not him I don't know I took a bro, I took a long while off anime Yeah, what's with the grown ass men and anime Explain that to me

Explain yourself It's cartoons again, you know There's more cartoons to watch, I don't know But it's like cartoons with the girls that are making awkward porn noises. I don't watch anything with women in it, period. So that's...

Right, right. That's the key. So basically it's just Dragon Ball Super and that's it. I watch Dragon Ball Super one piece until Nami shows up, then I skip. Like, there's nothing involved. That is almost like a really transcendent level of

misogyny. To like... Like, I love this show, but every time... Like, here's here's the woman-free cut of of any show. Seinfeld. Did you imagine? You're the woman-free cunt of Seinfeld.

That is a moneymaker. Look, Seinfeld with no women is like, that might be about 20 minutes. That's probably like 20 minutes total. It'd be 20 minutes, but it'd be all of the best interactions, you know? No, because like so many of those, like every episode, Jerry has a new girl. That's like the whole thing. It's like Jerry slept with like nine million women on that show. And so is George, quite honestly.

It's fucking ridiculous. George's exculpate sexually are just unbelievable. Like how was someone that looks like a meatball with a little bit of hair on the back of his head? Just getting played like that. That's what makes this show like so charming but yet so unbelievable. It's like this fucking troll is just like. Part of me almost does believe it because I think maybe, I think maybe before now. like before we before we were like teenagers or young adults

it might have been that it might have been that amount less superficial like it might have been think about how many bald people get like have kids you know what I mean there's a reason baldness is still around you know what I mean like it would yeah that's very they gotta be they gotta be able to pull the thing the thing is like I don't it's not even that he's bald

is that he's himself yeah he's a maniac George is terrible this isn't a sign-telf No redeeming quality. Look, look, look, look, look. This isn't, this is an Seinfeld podcast. This is, uh, welcome, welcome. Welcome to the Stark Tank.

By the way, before we get into today, this is going to be a big one. But before we get into everything that we're going to, before we're going to get into anything that we're doing today, I just want to be like, I just want to say just quick, thank you guys for all the, like, there's a crazy amount of support going on over at the Patreon. I know we missed the video. We missed, we missed. Lillian, why do you do this?

He just turned your phone off. It's like she smells, bro. It's insane. It's fine. She can call. She did nothing wrong. You got to put your shit on fucking silent. He doesn't,

I don't think he knows how to do that. Do you have to? No, I do it. What happened? He's like, I don't know how to do it. Every single time, I put it on silent.

The ringer is still on, even though the phone is on silent. No, no, what you call it. That's not how that works. You see this? There's a little thing,

there's a little thing, there's a little thing called work. I got it. I got it. It's over now. It's over. It's done. It's done. It won't happen again. It's over. It's literally every fucking episode.

I know. And I don't know. I don't get calls ever until the podcast starts. And it's like, everyone's like, I don't know, man. I mean, I get it. Kingston should know this. Any, look, look, I don't even know what the fuck I was saying. Well, what was I said?

Listen, we've gotten a lot of, a lot of support. We've got a lot of support over there on the, on the, on the, on the, on the, fuck. God damn it. You just ruined the vibe of this entirely. But we've gotten a lot of it. I'm a lot of sport over at Pitcher on a COPS slash the snark tank. Stop interrupting me, please.

Thank you so much. I will choke you to death because I can do that now. I think... You can't, but you're probably more... You can probably better at them before. I'm all there. You have a much better chance. You got to be kidding me.

Is that really a man with a jackhammer outside about to start? Is that seriously what's happening right now? Whatever. I think the snock tank is recorded right now. Oh, geez, Rick. Oh, geez. Our podcast is going to be fucking. Oh, no.

Listen. God damn it, Morty. We're already off the fucking rails. Listen, go over to Patreon.com slash of Snark Tank. Fucking support us over there. We're getting a lot of, uh, we're getting a lot of support over there, and it means that means a ton.

I think a lot of it is to do with the extra episodes, and, uh, we're going to keep doing that. I want to address the fact that we missed last week, uh, that was in large part because of, uh, something that we're going to be talking about today that I can finally talk about is that, uh, yeah, I'm doing the crater clash. I'm doing that. that is real. I have been training like a fucking madman for the last

I don't even know five months. So you know, it's getting closer. Training's getting a lot more intense. And I just straight up did not have it in me for like a couple straight days. So that's on me. My bad.

But... Here's the thing, Chris. You know what you say? Just real quick. I should cut that part out and say that you've only been training. You just started right now. You just started like yesterday. And so, and then what you'll have is, like, just in case Froggy, oh, shit, like, I'm actually, I'm cutting that out because I want you to drop that.

That's fine. But just in case, your opponent, yeah. I just wanted you just, like, announcing, be like, I'm fighting this and then, like, put a promo or some shit. But, yeah, I just wanted, like, to give your, like, just in case your opponent is just, like, a monster. And you're like, oh, it's okay that he beat me. I literally just started training the other day. Yeah, I just traded, I put him in the ground. I just started.

I barely started training. You're a pussy. I started training. I'm doing like... I'm stronger than you. I'm doing one... I started training one hour ago. I've been lifting a two pound weight for like 10 minutes every couple days.

I think I got it. It's fine. But yeah, no, I'm fighting fucking Froggy Fresh, which is fucking awesome. Tyler Cassidy. He's really dope. We've been talking back and forth. We've been talking about maybe doing like a song or something. because that would be really cool, but, uh...

Which is awesome. The fact that's real... Yeah, he does make music. He dropped a song for the announcement. It's actually pretty... It's kind of a banger. It's pretty fucking good. But, uh...

Check that out. Yeah, he's not bad at all at it. But, uh, yeah, it's... It's crazy. And it's been wildly draining. But I'm really stoked about it. I feel... I feel like it's just been like a really good...

Because I've never really had a reason to get in shape actually. Like, I've never really had... Because I have been... Fit my entire life despite not doing anything. Like, I've... Like, I did, like, a little bit of martial arts.

I did a little bit of baseball. But I did not do anything for years. And I remember for years, people were telling me, it's like, do you... Like, what's your workout regimen? I would be like, I... I don't. Like, I don't do that.

And it was always, like, a disappointed, like, defeated feeling. but now it's an excuse to actually like get out there and fucking um you know actually work at it except what i'm realizing now is that boxing itself isn't the hard part like getting hit getting punched all that shit that's fine it's actually kind of cool to be to be honest with you what i can't stand is the eating man just the sheer amount of the sheer amount of calories that i need to intake based on how quick my metabolism is just for just for me to be able to bulk up and still like burn fat into into muscle is fucking insane I I think I evened out like usually usually I average out around like maybe 1800 1900 calories like sincerely like I'm like a heavy day

now I'm like I think my average right now is like 29 to 3,000 and it's like to damn that It sucks. I hate it. I hate, I don't like it. I'm realizing, I'm realizing I, it's not even like junk food either, right? No, I mean, I mean, some of it. Some of it. It's like good food. It's like good food you got to eat. Well, I mean, I do have the benefit in the sense that I just have to gain fat to turn into muscle. So I could. Like there's, I don't have to worry too much about eating completely clean. Yeah, it's not about eating clean. Like I'm fine to eat like I'll eat like I'll eat like I'll eat like, like, I'll put like just a bunch of shit just to gain fat. But it's just, it's just this. It's just this. sheer amount. And I'm just sitting there eating when I'm not hungry and I'm like, I don't like eating at all.

Like, it is, it is not a pleasurable experience to me even slightly if I'm not really hungry. So that's the part that sucks. But everything else has been awesome. It's been really cool getting punched in the solar plexus every fucking day and feeling my organ shutdown. Because my 40-year-old Bulgarian coach who's been boxing for fucking ever knows some pressure point bullshit that just shuts your body down. I don't even know what the fuck. Shit's insane.

Probably just getting just a liver shot. Liver shot will fucking put you out. I don't know, man. I don't know. Getting hit in the whole stomach area. Anywhere below that rib cage, bro, that whole area getting punched, pain.

Because you've got no defense there. All of your vital shit is right in that one sack. Yeah. See, that's kind of a problem where it's like with human evolution where the, you need the rib cage had to, to stop so you can have more mobility. Yeah. But there's also like your fucking, you know, your fucking big, one of your biggest organs,

your liver is just completely exposed. Yeah. You're like, oh, your lungs are protected and your heart's protected. And then everything else, it's like, okay, I don't know what else to do. I don't know what else to do. It's like, it's the idea of like there's so many like people that people, no one, people that don't fight always assume that getting hit in the head is the worst. Like, oh my God, hit in the head.

It's like, you have a skull. a whole hard-ass, strong-ass skull. You can get knocked on contests and you can get brain damage. That is possible. Yeah, getting hit in the head has a lot of risks, but, like, in the moment, it's not nearly as bad. Like, to me, it's like, I've eaten some headshots already, and it's like, it sucks. It's not fun.

I would choose not to endure it if I could, if I could. But also, like, nine times out of ten, ten times out of ten, I'll be like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, aim for my head. Because if you hit me in the fucking right in the center That shit sucks Because that just feels That feels defeating That feels defeating

Like there's something about like getting hit in the head That makes you like It like sparks like an adrenaline thing Where it's like all right now I'm retaliating But like the stomach's just like That's just doesn't feel good man It's just it It just makes you meek

Out instantaneously So Just out But yeah You guys have known about this for a while Obviously Yeah But

it's uh it's fucking weird there's a lot of crazy people on the card too it's like fucking marisha ray from critical role who's fucking really cool um all these just strange people I think our fight is I think me and Froggy's fight is the one that's like most interesting

since I and I obviously I'm biased because I am in it but also just because like just what we know based off like off of last year and what like how that Michael Reeves fight was that was one of the highlight fights I think specifically because of Michael Reeves and I think I think that's just an interesting

underrepresented weight class you are you really are hammering right now hey yo what the fuck someone's just going to bust through his fucking wall right now full ass horse is going to run through your window and ruin your whole studio

turn that shit into dust bro that's so annoying and shit I guess I'll just just Bucking starts ticket holding your wall. It's like, you know, why is there a horse here, dude? Scared horses has no idea what's happening.

Of course they're hammering right right outside the wall of my fucking recording studio. That's wild. That is hysterical. What the fuck are they doing? Are they putting up Christmas decorations? January. Yeah, baby. Just leaving those holes up

all here. Now we don't have to deal with it. It's good forever. I'm a fucking legal. It's smart to get ahead of it You know, like Honestly, sometimes you got Sometimes you got to get ahead of the game, you know

Yeah But yeah, it's fucking Oh, I'm sorry, man My God, yeah I don't know I don't know what else to say about it Yeah, I said I've streamed a little bit about it

But Because now that I can talk about it Promos, have you been Talking mad shit about Froggy Fresh You got, Are you gonna be the heel? What are you going to do? Are you the heel?

Are you the heel? Are you the face? I, I, I would spend a lot of effort on that Look at this, listen, listen. This guy, I hope this guy falls off his ladder and he can't see his wife and kids anymore. Listen, I don't, I would, I thought it, like, we talked it a little bit about it. It's like, do we want to construct, like, some, I can't remember. Like, there was something that he came up with that, like, I was like, that's not a bad one.

But then I was like, if, if, to execute that right would take a lot of energy, and I would rather just, like, focus that energy on, like, the fight. You know, like, I don't think I, I'm not really interested in, like, I'm not personally interested. in a fake beef because I think our fight is the fact that Froggy Fresh is there at all is inherently interesting and I don't think it I don't think it needs any of this extra shit I think there's some some of the fights that probably might need a little bit of a boost

as far as like you know a little bit of intrigue but I don't I don't got the energy Yeah I want some like I don't know man like Alex So Alex Wasabi versus Idubs is the main event and I was getting a read for that

I was getting a read for it and Alex Wasabi fought someone before? Who was it? I don't remember. Do you guys remember? Was it KSI?

Was it KSI's first fight? You're probably right. I just know he fought before. But like, I'm just like, is this something like, is there, is there a, man, I'm a man of,

who has watched a lot of, yes, I've watched a lot of pro wrestling over my lifetime. And I love, like, real beef is, is all good and dandy. But I like when people are just fucking hamming it up. It's just funny to me.

Like they're totally friends. There's nothing wrong. But then people just like, it was kind of like what Worski tried to do to that salt poppy guy. So I watched the press conference and Worski was being the heel. And I thought it was hilarious because, you know, that salt poppy guy was, he has experience. So I thought like, he's a funny that he's a leader. He's legitimately a fighter. So he was like a sacrificial lamb.

and then he destroys them in like under 20 seconds or whatever, which is That was insane. It became such a perfect storyline of like, oh, you have no idea what's going to happen. And then he just fucking dies. What makes that funny is right, is like for some reason people keep underestimating Filipinos love and desire for boxing. That's what I don't understand how people keep doing it. It's like, you understand that boxing is like, it's like their baseball.

Like that's that's what they do over there Mexicans and Filipinos they box That is how they do it Yeah, it's it's cool man It's cool that this is happening Definitely April, what is it? 15th, April 15th, it's tax day

For anybody who wants an easy way to remember it Yeah, that's interesting Get your taxes done before then So make sure you can still go Exactly. Yeah. You're, obviously there's a website. I think the ticket's gone on sale 27th, I think.

I don't know. I'm fairly certain that's when they go on sale, but. Yeah. Oh, by the way, is Idub's jacked. I haven't seen him in a while. So he's probably been doing shit this entire time. He's in good shape, man. He's in good shape.

He's in definitely. Yeah. He's in a good place. I sparred with him, actually. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, uh, Yeah.

He's doing pretty good. Ethan specifically, cranked gameplays, I think, is, is, uh, is pretty, pretty good. Like, he's got a... He was a gymnast, wasn't he? Wasn't he, like, a gymnast growing up? Yeah, he's, doesn't I just weaponize you for the rest of your life? Yeah.

He's, he's... Definitely makes you good for rhythm. Yeah, he's really... I sparred with him, too. I sparred with a couple of people. Yeah. I think, I think, I don't know if this, I don't know if this is true. Huh?

You spar with any of the women? Yeah, some of them. And beat their fucking faces on. What's really cool about this is like, I'm short. You know? So like, if there's like most of there's some women who are who are fighting who are like like five, eight or like nine or whatever. And so if I'm sparring them, like I don't, I don't feel bad at all. You know?

You've reached it. You reach the place I've always dreamed of being. you can give it your all you can go like 100% like I thought we're sparring like oh I'm sorry sorry you know like you're hitting as hard as you can you reach the you reach the place that I've always been like no because here's the thing the thing that I've realized because I'll spark with women and I realize like when women spar they just assume they don't have to hold back because you're a guy you know like I spar with Sabrina sometimes just because we like we should we have the same coach and we're at the same class together a lot so like and she'll just like

fucking, like, drill me. And it's like, all right. Okay. Yeah. And then for the sake of patriarchy, you fucking obviously, you know, you return to sender. I tell you obviously. You give a receipt. Because that is fairness.

That is equality. Oh, I was talking more about patriarchy, not equal. Well, the way that I see, the way that I see it sincerely. The way that I see it sincerely is like, there's no point in, like, I'm not going to hold back during sparring because, like, this is the whole point is to, like, prepare you for like a fight like like I don't know like we obviously we have headgear so it's not like crazy like when we're sparring we're not gonna like concuss anybody or fucking um not trying hard enough i mean headgear doesn't protect your chin yeah it does well if you're not well not fully not fully but like i i'm not worried it's it's

enough it's enough especially it's it is obviously a uh a major day difference. I wouldn't even say major. It's, weighted seven pound gloves, bro. Ethan, I'm there for the fucking real thing, dude.

Ethan, Ethan, uh, Ethan got me in the fucking, um, in the chin once real fucking good. I was like, that's a good one.

Yeah. That's a good shot. Still, still, still preferred that to a punch in the fucking heart. But have you been, have you been rocked? Have you been rocked and or knocked out?

No. I have not been, well, there was one point specifically, it was the first day that we were, we were, we were sparring. with mouth cards that like fucked me up because like I have a custom one that I have to order

but that's not done yet so I have to add I have to have to rely on like the the fucking normal ass like boiler plate ones or you got to like boil yeah and they suck they're just they're horrible they're like a last resort emergency and like so the first day that I was sparring with them I was just like this is I can't breathe in this thing it's like falling out and that was easily my worst performance, but like, that was just terror. Like, I hated that. Like, I would almost be like, listen, I would prefer to just not do this with the mouth card at all.

But that was just what we were doing. So that was, like, not a good one. That was, I was just winded and fucking, it was so hard to breathe with that fucking thing. Because the non-custom mouth guards are just, like, big. Especially for me, you know, like, I'm a small guy. I don't think they're built for that necessarily. Like a youth one.

Well, I just got to get, like, a custom one. It's like fitted for my... Yeah, no, for sure, for sure. It makes sense. But, yeah, no, it's a wild... I don't know if I ever thought I would... I don't know. I don't know if I ever thought I would do something like this.

But I think, like, going to the clash last year was, like, really fucking contagious. I don't know. There's something about it. I get it. I mean... It's cool. Yeah. Hell yeah, dude.

There's something that, I mean, I have too many injuries. Otherwise, I would have... I would have, you know, anybody I would have went fucking... Oh, Kame Star, let me fight fucking Worski. There's actually, like, I would have done, I would, I would love to be on something. But I have, I have a torn ligament in my wrist, which is one of my biggest problems that, like, just even punching and training in general that I need to fix. And then I have some torn shit in my knee and I have a fucking herniated disc. There's like a lot of shit that I need to get straight down.

And I'm like, I'm pretty sure, like, I wouldn't be able to do it because of, like, I have. have it's in my files it's not like it's unknown shit it's oh I have these x-rays and all this stuff MRIs and fucking I'm x-rays so they'd be like oh you're kind of fucked up so nah and I was like oh yeah let me try to get this stuff fixed first and then

because I would love it I mean I I'm a combat sports guy fucking I'm obsessed with that shit so to have the opportunity to actually do something like this you know fighting a creator that seems so fucking fun particularly because they're creators than they're not fucking trained killers.

Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? Like, the fact that it's like relatively unequal playing field is kind of cool. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's so funny because like, uh, I got so many messages that were like, you're going to die. Froggy's Jack. And I'm like, this is exactly, this is exactly what I want that first off.

This is exactly like, I, I want expectations to be so set. Because it's like, I know that that's going to be a good fight. I know I'm not going to go down in the first round. I know I'm beyond confident in that. And so that baseline is going to be so easy. Like the second I don't go out in the first round, that's already, that's already like a way more interesting fight than people are expecting.

So like this is going to be fucking awesome. I'm beyond fucking stoked. I'm like, I think three inches or three, almost three inches taller. So I do have the reach advantage, which is fucking bizarre. Then Froggy? Yeah. Yeah, he's five two.

He's five, two. He's five, two. I'm 5-4, closer to 5-5. They actually, they rounded out to 5-5 for my card, which is, you know, so we'll see how it goes. I've got a lot of time. Muscles, man, like, it's a muscle guy. If they watch, they watch that fucking,

if they watch that last salt poppy one on the KSI card, that fucking behemoth guy that went after, like, just look at them. I'm like, just show, tell me that muscles fucking mean something. I mean, people, people, people don't watch, people don't watch combat stores. That's why, they don't know what they're talking about. They're like, oh, this guy's big. It doesn't mean he can fight. It means he's strong probably.

That's what it gives you. That's exactly what it means. It means you strong. Look, look, I'm not saying, I'm not taking anything from him. I'm just saying, like, appearance, you know? What I'm saying is, uh, don't count me out because I don't look like a Michelin, man. I think I'm going to surprise a lot of you guys. But, yeah, let me see if I can, there's some, I know I have,

there's some questions here. Just don't get cailed in the, you know, or it doesn't matter. Go in there and it's enjoyed, like, that's an experience, you know? Like, that's not like, you're not going to be a boxer, so that's not like going on your record. You're not going to have a card. It literally doesn't matter. Like, just go there, throw some punches afterwards. We'll all get drinks and we'll celebrate the fact that you did something that fucking cool.

Let me tell you something. If I lose to Froggy Fresh, I'm not going to be even remotely embarrassed. Because the dude's fucking jacked. I have no, I've know, it's like, yeah, I'm kind of like, like, like okay all right let's like if he shows up and he's like right if he's like spectacular it's whatever I'm like

if I win that's surprising who would have known that's gonna surprise that's gonna surprise people uh anyway what is it was fantastic what do we got what do we got what does no one dies in the ring bro it's a win win for everybody you know imagine

imagine Chris kills foggy French he just one hits him and one one bangs him his first fucking his first punch is a jab and he dies. No, man.

I'm not trying to kill nobody, man. That's fucking crazy. You know how loud? You know how loud I would be in a fucking seat? Yeah. That would ruin. That would ruin my life, I think. I'd be like, I can't.

I would probably never be happy again. Something just comes over you and you just start celebrating. You start emoting. Somebody told me the tea bag in the ring, which is like, Jesus. start doing the TV or the fortnight dance remember the freaking the freaking what you call it the recent fight some dude got knocked out of a dude was doing one foot

back flips and fortnight dances that shit was unbelievable that's evil in a street fight no no no and like one of the one of the keem star fight things the guy was like doing I was like yo imagine being like shadowy like you're like your inside

your just go in and out and some dudes like fortnight dancing and you're trying to keep your head on your shoulders. You're trying to stay awake. That actually happened recently on the latest UFC pay-per-view. And legend of the sport, Shogun Hua, he was his last fight.

And this fucking guy, this Ukrainian dude, you know, fucking knocked him out. And then he fucking just, in the heat of the moment, does the suck it, like, DX thing. And then he's doing this roping shit and like and then he jumps on the, everyone booing his ass off. And I was like, what the fuck was that? It was just like at the moment.

He was just doing every dance he could imagine. It's so disrespectful, dude. Everyone was like, what the fuck, bro? This is his last fight. This guy's been in this fucking game for like 20 years. And then he started dancing on him. It's no respect, bro. It's the younger people got no respect nowadays, dude. If I got beat up by a teenager right now, you know what they'd probably do? They'd probably do a bunch of while. They'd probably like make a freaking TikTok of me unconscious. on the floor. Oh,

100%. They would somehow like put fucking crocs on you. They were just like, they go buy me crocs my size, put on me. Look what I fucking did to this guy.

This nigga, now we got some, now we got some, now he's fresh, man, fuck this dude. He fucking start dancing on you and shit. On top of me,

not neary all my body. They're dancing on you. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's dope. All right. That's dope.

What's happened? You got some, you got some, You got some questions? Yeah, let me just run through... Yeah, I'll just run through some of the... There's only like... There's only a handful since it's pretty recent news.

For sure, for sure. But I'll just run through them real quick. Some of these V-R are kind of answered already, but like, might as well. Hold on. There's a bug on my screen already. He says, hello, goofy goons. Another question about the creator clash for you, since I'm sure you're going to get a lot, Chris. What's training been like and do you think you're going to win? Derek and Sweene, which fight aside from your boys are you most excited for?

I went to the first creator clash and had a lot of fun, even though I was in the nosebleeds. Well, of course. That sounds very fun. Excited to go again this year. Let me know if you want to grab a drink in the celebration of your hopeful victory. Let me tell you something. I'm probably going to be sleeping. Like, after the fight, I'm probably, like, everybody's talking about like,

does anybody want to go do a party? It's like, I'm probably going to go to bed. Because I have a feeling. That's not true. If you win, there's no way. If I win and I'm not. If you win, you're going to be on the high. If I win and I'm not, like, slightly concussed, sure, I'll go party.

but like I don't know man I feel like I'm gonna have a headache at the very least you know it's a boxing match you're gonna get punched you're gonna have some fucking drinks that's my coaches it was like it's it's it's boxing you get hit it's swimming you get wet you will get hit I was like oh my god

but but yeah I'll tell you like I'm most interested in specifically let me look at the card just I can remember specifically I want to see Alana fight that's the one that I'm really excited if dad is going to come out the way that he did last time.

Savage, bro. That's what I'm really, because, like, I got to tell you, I actually hate that. I'm not a fan of people just blitzing people. I'm not a fan of it because it's a sport. And in my opinion, I think there's also kind of almost like a gentleman's agreement of, like,

let's fill each other out and then let's fucking put on a good show. Oh, you don't like, you don't like the full court press? I don't like when motherfuckers just come out, like, blitzing and just try to kill you immediately where it kind of feels less like a sport and it feels more like I just I have a murderous energy than I want to just just destroy you and uh even like most professional

fights in the highest levels do not do that oh yeah because because because well there's this also because these people are they're they're both trained killers and that's true probably really stupid so like but I'm really curious to see if he's going to like oh it works so well last time I'm just going to bull rush and fucking destroy this guy I'm I'm kind of kind of really, I mean, I'm not even talking shit. It's just more of a like, it's a curiosity to see, like, if he could pull it off again. Yeah. I mean, he definitely, like, I'm much bigger than dad, and that would have scared the fuck out of me.

That would have scared this shit out of me. And I'm, like, not, like, I'm not a combat specialist, but I'm not, I'm not unfamiliar to fighting. Right. So, like, I would be like, whoa, dude. Like, I would call time out. I'd be like, whoa, whoa. I'm not ready for that kind of energy right now. Did you see that clip of Joe Rogan getting emotional watching that?

I love that. You got emotional? You didn't see that? No, I didn't. Oh, my God, Sweeney, you got to look that up right now. You got to look that up and react, react as, just don't even, don't censor yourself at all. Look up. Let me see if I could say, oh, man, I had a link to it.

It went viral on Twitter. Yeah, yeah, let me, let me, uh, Joe Rogan, uh, creator, class. There's a couple of different ones. Some of them are not the right one, so hold on. Okay. Hold off on clicking it. It's too... It's too good.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You put it in the chat? Yeah, I just put it in the chat right now. Everybody watching, I'm sure, has seen this. It's uploaded on a... It's called a Daily Dose of Penguins Zero,

which is a criticals... YouTube name. I don't know why. Why that's the name of the channel, but... Yeah, that's interesting. It's so damn funny. It is, it's so... Yeah, he believes it. Like, he believes.

He doesn't... He fucking believes... Father beats up, son. He believes that fucking dad is Matt Watson's dad. It's so amazing It's such a ridiculous assumption

Like he didn't even Like realize that it says Dad on his fucking trucks That's so fucking funny Because Joe's heart He's so like heartbroken For a son He's wearing his heart on his sleeve

Like he's just like showing that Underneath it all All the comments For the other jokes Joe's like a caring guy And it's wrong He's just so fucking wrong about the situation.

Dude, just the idea that's something that's not even remotely real drew that much emotion out of him and drew that much, it's, it's so funny. Like, I love that clip is one of the best. That clip is one of the greatest contributions that creator clash has made. Like, I'm so glad that I dobs did.

I'm so glad that Idubs put this show on not just because it was fun, but also because we got this clip. It's so funny because it's just, it's just Joe being like clearly immediately after Jamie clarifies. He goes to dad. He goes on for a minute.

He goes on for a minute and 40 seconds and he's just like ranting about how like that's your fucking son. He's got brain damage probably. He's probably going to be depressed for the rest of his life. And then some guys like that's not exactly what's happening. And he goes what? And then he asked

he asked this question that it's like a five year old's question. Why does it lie? that's what he says why does it lie it says dad fights son and he goes like oh it's a YouTuber thing like you don't know what clickbait is like I don't think it's like I don't know

it's not the biggest deal ever it's just funny no fit my my dad's in his 70s and he's not that 50 year old it's uh it's well fair enough it's because like for you you're probably seeing like

Joe's like an idiot I'm just seeing a person reveal the like he's just just watching something that's really just not saying well with him and he's talking about it, you know? He's just talking about something that bothers him, you know? I think for me, for me, the situation is more like you, you're not, I understand you're in your 50s, but you're a pioneer in the podcast space. You know, you're, you're relatively, you're relatively tech savvy. You must know what clickbait is. You must understand that like, when you click on a video sometimes.

The thing is, the thing is that like, it's just, Like, if it says dad beats up son, it's like, why, like, obviously my first thought was going to be like, look, his trunks. It says dad on his trunks. I know. That's why it's make you be like, wait, what's going on here? You can think that the title, you think it's real, you click on it, and then you see it says dad on it. Wait, wait, what's going on here? That immediately that, like, completely.

Matt Watson has daddy tattooed on his chest. Like, like, how do you? Like, it immediately makes me be like, wait a minute, this isn't, what is this? That's the next question. What is this? And then someone explains, it's creator clash. Could you imagine if that was just, if that was actually his son? So like this was real.

And he put dad, like he loves his dad so much. He tattooed daddy on his chest. So his dad's always protected that his dad goes in front of the world and beats the living shit out of it. I love the... Oh, man. The clips like... It's beautiful. It's absolutely really...

It's a brilliant clip. I love it. Yeah. It's a good video because this is Joe trying to be a... Trying to show some sort of care. But he does this fucking, like, he's so gullible to the point where it was the cat... He spread the cat litter thing. Like, oh, they're trying to put cat litter boxes in the school.

And then he reinforced it by saying, I know my friend's a teacher. And then he did it before. and people don't remember this, but I have this on my Instagram because of how fucking wild it is. I'm like, this can't be real. Where he's like,

I literally the same scenario. My friend's wife's a teacher. And she says at the school, they're taking tampons and putting alcohol on, and vodka on them and shoving them up their ass. And I'm like,

why the fuck would they do that? Why wouldn't they just get a water bottle and then put fucking alcohol in it and drink it like normal kids did? Why are they shoving shit up their ass? That is so insane at the, You know, it's crazy? Of course it didn't happen.

Just like a kid a litter thing. That doesn't sound unbelievable because kids are insane. But it's just like why. Like the reason that deflect me from believing that is just the why. It's so much easier to do other stuff, you know? You can also just clarify, but you could talk about these things and be like, I have no idea if that's true. It's really that simple. It's really that simple.

You don't have to just believe everything at face value. Sometimes we talk about stuff on the show that we don't, we don't. Two degrees from it. Right, right. Well, the thing is, like, sometimes we talk about stuff on the show that we don't know for sure, and we will, we say that. You know, we'll talk about, if we don't know something for sure, so most of the time, we'll just be like, yeah, yeah, I heard that. Like, uh, maybe. Yeah, like, when we heard about, like, the, the alien ant farm singer, grooming all those ants. Like, that's not, you know.

Right. That was just sort of, like, we heard about it, but we weren't 100% sure. We heard about it. We can't confirm. I'm pretty positive, though, but I can be wrong. Logan Paul fucking his pig and then kicking it out before he went to Puerto Rico. Like, that's another thing that we're like, we're not one-homerson short of. And Yeah But so like Joe Rogan

Like he put himself In the scenario He put himself a couple of degrees From the scenario itself Just to reinforce that this is real And I'm like What a compulsive liar To do that

That's fucking bizarre Let me ask you Let me ask you a question You're driving along I don't know Whatever highway It doesn't matter Whatever highway is local to you

You know you're about to pull off You're like maybe like A three miles away from your exit A car speeds by you on your left side you see a pig fall out the window

with a long string of cum trailing behind it it bashes in your fender and like whatever pig noises make and then it bounces off the highway into the woods and then you hit a light

and then you pull up next to that car and it's Logan it's Logan Paul how do you de-roll your windows down and like address which is like if

if someone if someone fucked a pig and kicked it out of a moving car then you had to just like awkwardly idle at a red light next to that car like

what would you do my real reaction would probably be I don't know how I'd like genuinely I would just mind my business because it hit my fender like okay I would just be like this

I think like that stress me out like moments that I can't grasp wait wait It hit your fender and your fender fell off. Your fender fell off. And there's like a little like there's like one really long string of one really long rope of come across your window. Across your window.

Is Logan Paul's dick visible so I can tell it came from his dick? Probably not since he's sitting down. He's he's naked. He's naked driving in car. He's shirtless. You can definitely see that. Yeah. And he's sweating and his windows are fogs.

Okay. And then when you pull up to the light, he's looking at you. Yeah, he's already staring at you. Galking. Like, he's just looking, yeah, just like that. Just like a blank stare, but he's just looking at you. Do you haunt your horn? At that point, at that point, you got, you got, you gotta be, bro, bro.

Yo, your fucking pig hit my fucking car, dude. Were you fucking this pig? Was that, was that calm? I think that would be the first answer. That would be the first question. Is that, dude, is that calm? No, no, I didn't come. No, I didn't come.

Oh, he's, oh, so he's a liar, too. He's a big fucker and a liar. That's not my come. That's not my come, bro. That's not my come, bro. Buy some of my prime. He wants some prime? He doesn't give you pride. I'm like, bro, what the fuck?

My fenders destroyed. He's in the passenger seat. His sex slave Mike is in, like, leather driving the car. Yeah, he's in a gimp suit. He's driving the cum suit. He's fully gimp-up. He's in a gimp suit. He's driving the car.

And he's maintaining a pretty steady. He's like he's driving it relatively well despite the fact that he can't see. Like, it's only his mouth is open. And there's a big red ball in his mouth, and he's like slobbering all over, and he's choking. But Logan Paul doesn't care because he just needs to get, he needs to get to Puerto Rico. He's going to get to Puerto Rico. He's fucking, there is no way he could possibly see in that suit. It is impossible.

Let's flush the scenario. Let's flush the scenario. But he's going. You pull up to the window. Logan Paul is staring staring at you what do you say Is that come? Yeah and now I go You fuck that pig

Yeah and now I go fuck that pig That's come and now I go I go bye And he speeds off I would tell us I would try to throw a brick through the window I would try to hope I'd have a brick and I would throw it through a window Yeah sometimes you got a brick and in your Yeah it is it's actually pretty smart to have one And then I go over to the fessly fucked and come on pig

And I'm like damn bro really tough time for you and I'll just start stomping on its head. That's crazy. That's wild. He's, but he's, you try that, but he's, he's so glazed and come that your foot keeps gliding off of him. It's like, it's like, it's like, uh, oil. You try to, yeah, you try to put it out of its memory.

And then, and then, and then, uh, and then Freya shows up. Freya shows up. And she's like, don't harm him. And she does like the things. That's my thing. And she starts, like, so, you're like, what the fuck is? This that shit would be...

He's the last of his kind. That shit would bother me so much because now I'm involved. Now I'm really involved, you know? Like, if Freya shows up and starts doing patchwork Nordic magic on this come-drenched pig that just fucking hit my fender. Imagine the story?

Imagine the story. What to do. Imagine the story that person is going to tell when he comes back, like, when he morphs back into a pig? Or like, not back into a pig, but back to a person? Yeah. he probably can't speak anymore he's been he's been traumatized so much

that he's now mute like I don't think he can fucking speak anymore he's just traumatized to he's mute his eyes are really open he goes stares at you boho

boho and I just picture Phil Lamar in his voice but anyway creative life oh great

I don't know how the fuck we got here But yeah I think a lot of fight is I think I'm looking forward to the Ilana fight I'm looking forward to I'm a little biased To the Sabrina Jelleray fight Just because I've been training with Sabrina

I'm just like and I'm just curious how that goes I think crank is gonna be an interesting one too Because sparring with him I think he's a sleeper I think he's a sleeper I gotta say one thing There's not enough niggas on the card though I gotta put that out there man

Yeah I got I got I I got, where's Mark, where's Marquez Brownlee, man? I want that fucking, I want Marcus Brownlee versus Michael Reeves. Let's go. I know they, I know they. I want, I want, I want, I want to see Dr. Umar fight freaking, what's his name? Um, what's the name with a guy that was Fuentes?

I want to see Umar fight Fuentes. I'd like that'd be such an interesting fight. I want to see. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Stephanopla. What does this guy's name? The guy that was with, uh, Kanye. No, which one? The little white kid?

No, the one I was with Kanye. Milo Yanopolis. Milo? Mano Unopoulos. I would love that. I would love to see two opposite forces. Whoever wins that fight wins, you know? That side wins.

Miloianapolis versus the nostalgia critic for Creator Clash 3. I think a meeting of the minds. I think... I like it. Yeah, I don't know. It's... Dude, you know it would be sick. You know William Knight that there's no...

such thing as a coincidence guy. Yeah. You've seen that guy? Yeah, of course. Yeah, like, I want, he would be a, like, press conference, imagine that fucking guy.

That'd be great. Like, the way that he ever seen any of his videos. That would have been, that would be fucking cool. They asked, I know they asked a lot of fucking people, and these are the ones

that accepted. I would imagine. Yeah, the ones that because, yeah, there's a lot of people that don't want to do it. Yeah, people are going to be like, what the fuck,

I saw Philly's, uh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Philo Franco, was going to fight Greg Paul.

Isn't it? It's so crazy. Yeah, and Lisa asked me about that. She was like, what do you think about this? I'm like, or what do you think about it? I didn't know that Phil DeFranco was on the car to fight him, but I knew that Greg Paul, like, might have been involved. And I was like, I mean, it's funny, but also like, I can't stand that family.

Like, I can't. So ridiculous. Like I hate the Paul's. But. Yeah. Like Logan Paul's dad? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

that there was like alleged videos leaked of him like banging some young chick. Yeah, he's apparently. Yeah, he was banging a 1,000-year-old dragon. He was apparently banging like an underage pig and this is like, God damn, bro. It's just genetic.

That's crazy. Do you think is it worse? Is it worse to fucking underage pig than it is to fuck just like a, like an elderly pig? Is it really like I'd rather I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say.

You know what to say. I was gonna be like, I'd rather, and I was like, it's a pig. Because it is just bacon ultimately. You know, like, it's not, yeah. Like, it's not, like, it's way more morbid, dude. It's way more fucking. That's way more fucked up. Like, I would say out of, because, like, what is the purpose?

Is he doing it because it's young? Like, he's like, I'm like, yeah. That makes it so fucking gross. This motherfucker. is waiting for... This motherfucker is waiting for the pigs to be birthed, and then he just swipes it for the mom. That's crazy.

And then he's like, ah, here's your, here's the nipple. And then he fucking just, just, just, you know, the pig just engulfs it. You know, you know, the scenario. Pigs of the deer pigs and gives it some cock. He's just fucking, like, there's like nine litters. And he's like, just like, hmm, you know, this one's a little juicier, grabs that one.

and then Logan Come here I guess here's Here's kind of how Here's kind of how I think about it right Is it is it more morbid Get your pig Logan Come get your pig Logan

Come get it Come is spelled CUM I think What do you think Oh my God Because my thing is it's like Is it more morbid To like kill and eat

An adult chicken Than it is to kill like And eat a teen age chicken. Okay. I was gonna say, I was gonna say, I thought you're a child. So I thought you were gonna say,

is it more morbid to kill and eat a chicken than to fuck a chicken to death? I thought you were gonna say that. And I was like, Chris, no, no, it's very clearly,

it's more morbid. It's pretty clear. It's way less bad. Yeah, because you're not surviving. It's something you're doing for survival. It's just like you're an, you're just a fucking piece of garbage. Just a beast.

Just a demon. Yeah, yeah. Which you know, I mean, Stop fucking chicken. Well, I mean, it would have to be because it's like, it's like, uh, whatever you see, um, veal on the menu, some people get very offended. Right. Yeah, but it's the same people who, that they're just.

I feel like it's the same people who would get offended at the, at the, at the fact that there's beef at all, right? Or is it like more sensitive because it's like a fucking calf? It's more sensitive. Yeah, people like, no, people get, I mean, even to myself, I had a, uh, I, uh, unknowingly. So I was, I was in Greece and, you know, kebabs or, you know, kebabs or, over there, you know, you get your souvlacier kebabs. And so I had a kebab and I didn't realize it was veal until afterwards. And I felt a little, because I'm just like, you ever see a little baby cow like a calf?

They're so fucking adorable. And then you just picture some machine just grinding it up or some nigger with an axe like just, you know, teeing off on it. And you're like, oh, man. But fuck that's some delicious ass shit, though. That's some tender ass shit, man. You know those machines where it's like the, it's like the, it's a. like the half discs that are like kind of like

semi spaced apart and they twist together and they like break down rocks and concrete yes yes those things scare me I have like a really deep fear of those things like just like those things are because they break cement

but if they can do to us yeah dude like a person in there is so gone like it's juice it's a Zeus it's scary how quickly it would be over yeah yeah I don't like it, man.

Yeah, hopefully you just one leg in first so you can pull it out. You know what I mean? Once that one part of your leg gets crushed, maybe you can pull out one part of your leg, hopefully. Or you'll probably be too in shock to not do that. Yeah, you'll be pulled in, though. Imagine being that diligent to where you can pull your leg out. You would, that would happen to you, and then you'd be like, oh, well, that part of me is just gone. Fold it up, too.

You'd probably like, first your leg goes, and then the way you're being pulled into the machine, because, you know, it's kind of like this. so now you're awkwardly getting pulled in you're getting twisted and then you're going to die fast just hope you die fast just go ahead first what if Logan Paul

pays people to let's say like that machine has like an underground where everything collects and like Logan Paul pays people to go on the top and throw pigs in there so he can jerk off under a sea of raining pig blood oh my god

he beats off the pig vests for being dropped on him You see, he's so hard it's out. He's so hard. Like, he doesn't take his pants off. He just let himself get bricked up. And he's so hard his pants. He's so hard.

His clothes are fast into the back of him. He's just jutting out. It's just jutting out. And he's just like, I love this. What's it called? What's the thing called? His fucking game. Crypto Zoo.

Crypto Zoo. Crypto Zoo. All the blood of his was falling on him. CryptoSoo. You know how he said he said he's going to fix the Crypto Zoo thing, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He talks to all the customers. Yeah, he was like, he was like, yeah, guys, guys, like, I, I apologize and know all your mind is

my pig. My pig, my pig, uh, crypto zoo card just had a baby and it's Logan. It's, it's a Logan. It's a Logan. Put that in the game. We're starting this. You know, it's funny. We are starting.

We are starting. really drilling into this to the point where like it might become like a rumor that Logan Paul fucks pig because I feel like people are going to tune into this and they're going to be like why are they talking about this like it's real it must have like there must be something something must be based on

something anyway I want to let's I manifest 100% I want to get a DM from Logan Paul and maybe hey you guys better stop talking shit y'all don't know shit about I would edit I would edit the fuck out of it I want to do the fuck out of it.

I would edit that chain me like, I fuck pigs. And when a message would be edited to I fuck pigs and I'd tweet it all over. Yo, he, yo, angrily, yo, motherfucker. I fuck pigs. That's all it says. This is just lying. I might fucking do that. I might just edit some regular ass message to that.

I might just use my other account, send myself that message and then edit it as Logan Paul because I'm fucking bored. Just like a piece of shit. That's so funny. Just a lying asshole. Just do some fake ass tweets too. Do some fake tweets too. all those fake Trump tweets to do fake Logan Paul tweet

Oh boy Big fucking time Oh golly Christ Oh my latest pig just arrived Oh my latest pig just arrived I can't wait to fucking come on it And then like have dreams about it While I'm deep into an REM cycle

I think While I'm in my REM sleep I can't wait to finish REM sleep So I can fuck my pig again I can wait This is my entire life I sit in REM sleep, I wake up, I fuck my pig, I fall asleep, I go back into REM sleep, I wake up, I fuck my pig, and I die.

That's my life. That's the rest of my fucking, that's Logan Paul. He's just, he's very, away. Like he has, he has a very, very loose. I go to Puerto Rico. I meet bad bunny. I fuck my pig again until it died. I did dies.

I fucked it so much. Buy another pig, go to sleep. Fuck that big after. Hell yeah, dude. Anyway. Jesus Christ, man. I'm going to do something. I'm going to do, yeah.

Yeah. Let's move. What's next? Let's move on. You get it. You guys get it. I'm boxing. You get it.

Let's move on. This, um, there will be more. I'm pretty sure there's going to be a bunch of streams about it, too, at some point. But, um, what else? I turned myself into a pig, Morty. Oh, yeah, yeah. Morty, I'm a pig. I turned myself into a different actor, Morty.

I'm, I'm not on the show anymore, dirty. Why is my voice different, Morty. So they got, I mean, they got rid of Justin Royland. And, uh, I'm, I don't know. I feel a little weird about it, to be honest. Not necessarily because I don't think it's like warranted. Obviously he's like, he's, they're just messaging a lot of sus suspicious shit.

And it's like, eh, it's, it's very sus. It's very, very. Even if there's no, even if there's no real evidence necessarily that anything bad happened, apparently. It's still just weird. It's just weird. and that makes sense the domestic violence charge that could be real

could not be but that also is just kind of like there's so many people who don't have a domestic violence charge that you could work with you know so it's like why would you

so I understand it from that perspective but like there's something about like so they're continuing Rick and Morty season seven and they're probably going to continue into the future as well without Justin Royland

and I'm of two minds about this the first mind is that it's cool that the show's going on and that the people who work on the show who are not Justin are not being unfairly put out of a job or punished just

because the creator was kind of doing some sassy shit. That's cool. I appreciate that because it's usually it's like a scorched earth policy where it's like oh this guy at this game studio is a piece of shit so then like they're just like boycott the game and then everybody suffers and then they all

lose their job because the studio goes under and then suddenly like 200 people are on fucking food stamps just because the fucking the person at the top screwed up so I think it's cool in that regard

however that show is Justin Royland and there's no way like there's no way they're going to continue it at even a remotely decent quality level

like you can't do so what do they what do they do I mean I think they picked the morally correct choice technically speaking because it's like

okay People aren't going to lose their jobs. But the show's going to be... I mean, the show's arguably not particularly all that great, even with him still there, because he's kind of checked out. You know, he's just... He definitely, like, he family guys the show, for sure. Like, he just shows up to do the voices, and he might write a little bit,

but I even doubt that. I think he's more focused on, like, that his game studio, which he also resigned from... And solar opposites. I agree. So it's not necessarily that the show is going to get worse, but it's definitely going to feel fucking weird. Yeah, unless it somehow gets better. What if it does?

The fucking odds of that happening, but it gets way better. So do you think it's going to be a situation that's like, oh, Mark Hamill didn't want to do Joker for this? So we got Troy Baker and it was pretty much just as good. What do you think? It'll probably be that. Yeah, I think there are plenty of people who can do that voice. Like there's a guy specifically, I don't remember what his name is, but he went viral several, like at least a couple years. years ago doing like impressions. There's like a video of him like meeting Justin Royland and like

even Justin Rowland saying like yeah, if he was doing the voice like he wouldn't even be able to tell that it's not me. I think he's the guy who's going to get it because it's just like why he can do all he can do literally all of his voices. He could do Rick, he could do Morty, he could do fucking those extra like all of his voices he knows how to do. So why not? But I love the I love the idea of just getting people who sound nothing like them. Yeah yeah. I've been seen some videos going on. seen some videos go up like that. Yeah, that would be... I think it's time to turn Rick

like straight up into like a Hispanic person. Oh, I got that, bro. That was what... So we were talking about doing like, uh, voices. Like, let's all try our auditions. And I was just gonna speak Spanish badly

and voice him. It's like, uh, uh, you know, I don't say, Rick, uh, do I'm, doigo, Tengo, I don't,

uh, no, no, Morsazaz like fucking. Is that? That's like you're speaking Spanish badly. Yeah. I can't sound like Morty. I have a man's voice.

I can't do that. Can you sound like Morty? Yeah, he does a pretty good Morty. Dang, bro. That's crazy. I can't do it. I don't... I can't do that shit.

Oh, geez. Oh, geez. Oh, geez, Rick. I can't be here fucking Logan Paul's pig all day. I've got so much stuff to do. I keep seeing long stringy ropes of come coming out of the pig, and they're not mine, Rick. I swear, I swear to God.

You know, like, and then Rick goes like, Morty, stop it, Morty. He goes, stop it, I fucking disagree with you, Morty. Do you not understand? We are leaving, Marty. We leave now. And that's, that's my audition. I think I got the part. I think, I think, I think, I'm shooing.

It's going to be so weird. I can do. I got, I got, I got, I got Rick right here for you. All right. Morty, we can't do this, Morty. Morty. Oh, no, Morty. Morty,

Morty, we can't do this. Oh, come on, Rick. Let's go to the fucking drunken clam, Morty. And then Morty's like,

he's like, he's like, well, vio, Viore Rick, come on, Rick, this is a good idea at all.

Come on. Come on, Rick, we're on the road to Rhode Island, Rick. We're on the road to Rhode Island. The road to Rhode Island. Come on,

Rick, where are we going, Rous? Lois. Lois. No, not always. Maudey. What's the daughter's name?

Monty. Summer. I forgot her name. Summer. Summer. Summer. Shut up. Shut up.

Summer. I can't do. I can't do Peter Guy. Peter. Peter guy. Imagine you're that disconnected and you call him Peter guy. That's such a confusing amount of information to ignore. You know, like that's a confusing amount of misinformation.

Like, that's a lot of misinformation. Right. Like, I feel like you would either, you'd probably be like, oh, that's family guy, right? Like, he's, like, he's family guy. He's family guy. Yeah. Like, look, it's family guy. And it's fucking Brian, the dog.

It's family guy. Look, it's family guy and Snoopy. I'm Brian. Brian, the dog is just Seth. It's just, yeah. right. Yeah, it's just his normal voice. And he's just like, oh, I'm like, oh, that's really cute. That's brilliant.

Because Brian was, what's up but Stewie? He's like, Brian was supposed to be Seth MacFarland's views, political, like political views and everything until they just turned him into like a liberal asshole. But what, what we can ask about Stew? He turned Ryan to the most liberal douchebag. His arc. I haven't watched it in a long time. Oh, me neither. Yeah. Because he's gay.

Apparently he's gay now. Yeah, yeah. Is that the whole? He's been gay for years to be free. Which I always thought was... But he's... I mean, he's like... I do love that joke where they make the whole family British. That's like a really old... It might be like season five or something, season six.

And he's still the same. Where... No, no, everybody's British and like, it's like, oh, yes, yes, chap. And everybody's speaking that way. But, like, Stewie's like, I fucking hate that bitch. That dumb whore.

I don't remember that. It's like, it made me... It made me chuckle. Family Guy makes me laugh, but not as a show. It's weird. Like, it's just individual clips of Family Guy will make me chuckle. Or they'll, like, get a good exhale out of me. Sometimes they'll make me laugh on, like, rare occasion.

But, like, I would never, at the same time, sit through an entire episode of Family Guy. Like, I wouldn't dedicate 20 minutes to sit down to watch, like, the A story and B story reconcile. I used to watch all the old episodes. I used to enjoy the same. The old episode, I mean, it's similar. Yeah, like anything nowadays, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Now everything, I feel like everything now is more about, like, trying to make something so absurd that it gets shared on social media as a clip.

I feel like that's, like, how things circulate now. Like, so I think a lot of, even television is, like, made with that in mind where it's like, this is going to be a ridiculous scene. It'll get shared out of context on Twitter and then, or, like, on social media and then or TikTok. And then people might be curious to check the show out. Yeah. I feel like that's genuinely. Morty? No. Have we kept to know? I'm like

I'm not sure the yeah I might have seen season five just to like I don't remember anything from it which is that's kind of a problem you know like if it's for me it's like okay this isn't sticking like the the first two seasons I remember the third one

being pretty good too but I can't I kind of don't remember anything after the third season yeah the first two seasons one really good episode and like there's one really good episode remember recently where there was like where there was a clone of beth and then he was like i'm gonna i have to wipe beth's memory and then oh i do remember that or something like that i do remember something like that became like cool and one beth that stayed and fell in love with jerry and like i remember that

being like oh this is actually kind of sweet i don't remember that i i know i kind of remember that those first two seasons i think are still like really great but yeah yeah i don't know i i saw one recently from the most, I think the most recent season, I think, where, like, Rick replaces Morty with two crows. He's just like, even two crows would be better than you, so he just goes and trains two crows, and he's like... So he just does... I did think it was funny because the crows got really...

They were really good companions. It was, like, vaguely amusing. Like, it was, like, the most memorable part of the episode to me. But, like, it's just, like, I don't know. It's... It's not hitting the same. Things now. Now that we're talking about it,

I remember like bird person came back as a robot or something. That was a season before though, I'm pretty sure. I don't know. I remember that. And then I remember one of the thing,

I don't remember what season this was from. If you guys, I think Beth and, and Jerry do therapy. That's season two. That's, no, is it?

No way. No, no, no. Like when, or one. Hold on. Maybe no. No, no, because it's like,

it's, they, they do the, is it the one where they do the, where they, where they, where they, The one where they project, they, they, they see how they see each other.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Beth is like a xenomorph and, and she's a, and then Jerry's like some pussy-ass worm. Yeah, that might be season. That was like from the old seasons. That might be season two. That might be season one or two. That might be season. Jesus Christ.

That might, that sounds like two, three at the latest. I felt like that was like, oh yeah, because they weren't split up yet, right? Because they're split. Jesus, man, my fault, yeah, so I don't even remember any of the new shit at all. I thought that was maybe newer. You're thinking that season. five, that shit happened a while ago. Like, frankly three years ago.

Fuck, man. Yeah, it's even interesting. So this is going to be season seven, which is like, I didn't even know, if you would have asked me, gunpointed to my head, like, how many fucking seasons had there been? I'd be like, fucking know. Dude, I feel like I've been in a fucking memory hole with that shit recently. I found out that

Young Sheldon had six seasons. And I was like, excuse me? Like, what the fuck I'm talking about? Like, how do you think? The show in American television, Young Sheldon. I have a theory. And I want to see maybe if you guys think this is maybe plausible at all about the Big Bang Theory because when I talk to people about the Big Bang Theory, it's not, there is no actual comedy in the show. Like, it's not like, like, you, you, there's no, like, jokes.

They're just saying shit. Like, like, I've, I've, I'm talking about, we just, me and Joe just a little while, we watched, like, the top 10 funniest moments. And they're, and I kid you not, there were no punchlines. They were just saying shit And I was like this can't be the whole show So I've watched other stuff and I'm still waiting for something That would actually make me like giggle and shit This is my theory

These people, the writers of the show must understand comedy I'm assuming they do Do you think that these guys Purposefully were like Let's write a show that is so unfunny And make it the number one comedy Just to like see if we can actually do it it. Because that's something that

I would do. I could believe that it's so because that show is so stupid that it almost might loop around to being brilliant in the sense that like they might have been like you know what we're going to do? We're going to make a show that makes people who watch it feel like they're intelligent

and it's going to suck. Like there's going to be nothing about it that's even remotely interesting or remotely true. We're just going to have these nerds and they're going to be like in Caltech or something. They're not even nerd. They're not even nerd. They're like just like, like, look, okay, I'm gonna say some offensive words right now. So, Derek, prepare to start bleeping shit, all right?

This is about to be. I'm fin of going to tie rate because- Don't believe it. This is the big bang theory. It's supposed to be a series that for someone like me, I'm supposed to love because they're nerds. They like comic books. They like sci-fi shit. They like fucking Star Wars. They like D&D.

All that shit that they enjoy is things that I love. But there it's just there's nothing. There's just a bunch of mentally disabled people and one average blonde girl. And for some reason, people like, that shows so funny. There's a character that I can only talk to women if he's drunk. That's so stupid. And everyone's like, that's so funny. And I'm like, how is that funny to anyone?

Yeah, it's not even, it's dumb. It's just not, it's just not real comedy. It's not as good as. No, no, sorry. What were you going to say? No, I just, I want to just make it clear that I'm not being like hyperbolic when I say I have yet to like the jokes that are in that show that I've seen. I've gone on my way to see enough of them and I, and I've said this before.

Back in 2008, I was living in Arizona. I was waiting for cell phone service and the show was on. I had no bias. I was like, oh, let me see what this show is about. And then I was like, I don't, this is, I don't get it. That was my first interaction. All the way till now, I have not heard a joke where I'm just like, oh, that's a shitty joke, but it's a joke. Like, it's actually, there's a punchline.

I'm talking to, like, they're just, and I mean this, saying shit, like, Cheldon's trying to decide between Xbox 1 and PS4. And he just said, this is like when I was trying to decide between Betamax and VCR. And then he says something about recording in the wrong format when he was trying to watch something. And I was like, that's not, he just said, he just said. said information and the audience was like, oh, oh, and I'm like, there was nothing funny about it. He just said something that happened that if you were sitting down to dinner with people, you'd be like, oh, yeah. But they were laughing.

And I'm like, this isn't, what am I watching? It is not even as good as some of like the, like the C tier television sitcoms or like the B-tier television sitcoms that were kind of under. Like, you know how like things like King of Queens or like everybody loves rain. Raymond. Like, I was, I didn't love those shows. I didn't love those shows or anything. But what I'm saying is, like, those were not like, when people talk about, like, really fucking influential sitcoms, no one's fucking bringing up King of Queens. No one's bringing up Everybodyless Raymond. But, like, they at least have something. They're at least, like, written. Like, they're, like, they're, like, they're entirely fine and passable. And, like, there's, like, I saw a clip on TikTok recently of an Everybodyless Raymond clip of, like, I don't even know. It was, like, it was like, it was. It was like, it was. It was like, it was. It was like, like, it was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. You know Brad Garrett, the tall brother who's got that weird voice? He brings a girl home and she eats a fly. And only like Ray notices and it's hilarious. It's fucking ridiculous.

It's dumb as fuck. But like it's at least like it. Yeah, it's funny. If you brought a date home and your best friend saw her independently alone eat a bug, that's hilarious. That's a good situation. That's funny. That's a genuinely funny idea. But like, oh, I want to buy a PlayStation, but I might want to buy an Xbox too.

Shut the fuck up and hang yourself. You know, how the fuck is it? You know where to make that show. The thing is that there was one time that Lyle tweeted a clip of it. It's the funniest thing ever. Lyle tweeted a clip and they just set a bunch of things. They just set a bunch of like pop culture references. And he was like, what is this?

He was like, this isn't comedy. Why? I think they were playing like ping pong or or a beer pong. They were doing something like that, and they made up like, oh, this is, and yeah, it was a laundry list of just nerdy things being said. Again, which is not a joke. It's just people saying shit. And that's the whole thing where I feel like, I feel like I feel like I've seen enough of that show to where I was like, I'm convinced and I wonder if other people would agree that these people are completely aware of the writers. They're completely aware of what they've made.

Because compared to, let's just take a sign-filled script or anything else. I think they know the difference. Like, oh, here's actual jokes and punchlines. Here's a funny scenario. This is a situation comedy. And then they just wrote shit that just like, let's just say stuff. I am partially convinced that it is, like, because the writers of that show are, like, there are writers on that show who are, like, actually, like, insanely smart. Like, like, I think I remember seeing something like how like physicists and shit were actually like writing it.

And it's like, I wouldn't be surprised if they just, if they really did, was like, listen, we don't have to write a funny show. We just have to make, we just have to make people feel like they're, they're more intelligent than they are. And so we'll write a show about smart people. We'll dumb it down. We won't have any jokes, but we'll have things that refer to things that if you know a little bit about it, you might think yourself smarter than you are. and then you'll feel like happy for getting it a little bit. You'd be like, oh, I know what Betamax is. Ha, ha, ha.

And then you laugh, and that makes you think you're enjoying the episode. And then, like, let's write the fucking top earning show with no jokes. Let's do it. Because we can. Because there's a formula here, and we can do it. We're smart enough to figure this out. And they did it. Like, that is, I think, sincerely, it is the biggest sitcom ever.

It is. It is. It's number one. But you know what have made that show better? A gun, a gun. Would have made that show better. If Sheldon said... The N-word?

The N-word? The N-word? Wow. That is... It's so good. That is so good. Everything comes back to the N-word with you. Of course.

Click and collect. Order confirmed. Dad, tomorrow can we start a band. Can we become robots? Affirmative. Can we go crab? That isn't a thing. How about swimming?

Dad, can we take a nap? You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal. Deal. While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials. Book your free click and collect slot at tesco.e or in app. Tesco, every little helps. Terms and conditions apply.

Oh, but you're telling me that wouldn't have been, you're telling me that wouldn't have been groundbreaking television. I can't believe you're suggesting that after we just got, I can't believe you're suggesting that after we just got after, I can't believe you're suggesting that after we just got such a wonderful monument to MLK built in the city of Boston. So what? He dead. He, he, in fact, he wanted things like that to happen.

That sculpture sucks, man. Is that what? What he wanted, he wanted, what? He wanted black kids and white kids to join his hands. To join hands and save an end. That's so nice. You go back, you see a fucking, a will, and it says that. Sheldon must say, can I say it there?

Can I want to say it so bad? It's such a funny word, but I'm not going to say it. Can you listen? Listen, listen, listen, can we? Can we, can we? You know what it is. I want to do a quick hypothetical with you, with you guys before we get the questions. Not that one.

It's a quick, just a quick hypothetical. You, uh, let go. You really want to get into a, you really want to get into this club, right? For whatever reason. Like, you're, you're standing outside. You're in a line. You know, you get to the bouncer. And the bouncer goes, hold up.

You can't come in here unless you show me your dick. You can't come in here unless you pull your peepee out. Oh, easy. And let me stare at it. What do you do? Easy. I show my dick. I don't care.

The only reason I'm not. So hold on, hold on, hon, hold on, hon, hold on. So, all right, so I'll be the guy. I'll be the guy. You come up. You come up. And I was like, all right. Listen, what's going on, man.

Yeah, sorry, I can't let you in unless you, unless you pull down your pants and show me your, your peepee. How old are you? I'm 26. Let me see your ID real quick. That's not your job, bro. You got to, you're not getting in here. I'll show you, I'll show you.

I'll show you. I'll show you an adult. You're not going to get in here unless you show me your peevee. You're not going to get here unless you pull in your pants and show me ID. I will show you my peeve. I will show you my peeve. And I'll start digging in my pants and, like, outlining the frame of my penis. I'll show it to you.

He's got to show me ID real quick, man. No, no, no, I got to make sure I don't want to break the law, man. I'm sorry. Move aside. Next. I move aside. Next, as I move aside, I flash him. I flash him and I turn.

I did a, with a quick flashover, I turn. I go over it. Well, so you showed me your dick then? Yeah. Okay, well, you're definitely not getting in now. You just showed me your penis. What the fuck? Get out.

You're a creep. What the fuck out of here? Oh, then you're fucking weird. It was a test. Then I started aggressively groping him. It was actually, it was actually a really, it was actually a really, it was actually a like a Machiavellian trial to see if you were worthy. What I do is I walk up to him and then at that moment I dig in his pants and start digging

his pants like I'm looking for treasure. Like you know, like you're looking in the back of it. Like you're looking in your toy bin for the toy you really want and it's really at the bottom so you got to start like moving things around. Damn, imagine. Imagine having that many toys? Holy shit. I had a toy drawer and it had like a couple of action figures in it and I saw them.

Why do you make me feel bad every time, dude? What do you mean? What do you mean? I had a toy bin because I had a toy bin. That was me and my cousin. We had like a toy bin. You know, like, the Fisher Price footballs? We had, like, one of those full of toys.

I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. Please tell me. Come on. Yeah, I know that we're talking about. We had one at school. Yeah, it was big plastic football. Fisher and it was, like, had my toys and my cousin's toys in there. Yeah, but yeah, we didn't have that.

My neighbors had a big ass fucking tub full of toys. They were bawling with toys. We had, we had, we had, I had enough. I mean, I still have some of mine. I still have some of mine. The thing is that I wasn't alone. I have sincerely, my cousin, and my other cousin, and my sister's shit, whatever, she had left, you know? Yeah, let me tell you something.

And then I had nephews and nephews that came right after me. Let me tell you something about this, this Fisher Price football. I've never seen this thing in my fucking life. I've never seen this thing in my goddamn life. They definitely, I know what it looks like right now. It's like brownish. And they have like a stripes on it. It's Fisher Price on it.

I remember exactly. You just described to football. Yes, it's a, it's a, it is a, I'm Googling it now. I see what you're talking about. I have never seen this. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't get inside of it when I was little too.

I used to get inside of it. I used to get inside the thing. I would take all the toys out and I would go inside of it. I'd try to hide from my grandma. What a pervert. That's crazy. I just had a drawer. Is that not normal?

When I was, people had like toy chests. Because you were, you were probably by yourself. That's why. Yeah. Or there weren't a lot of kids in your house. That's a thing.

For me, I was. I was one of, like, when I turned seven, when I was still definitely in my toy phase, I had my first niece. And then my left, my nephew came by the time I was 10. So when I was like, when I was, I got out of my toy phase later than most boys will. And I admit that at like, I like 13, 14th when I got out of my toy phase. I was like, that's when I was done. That wasn't the last time I played with them.

But that's when I was like, toys aren't my main focus. I'm more into video games now. And pussy. No, the idea of pussy, not pussy yet. The idea of it thinking I really wanted it and didn't know what it was yet. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

When did you guys stop playing with toys? Probably sixth grade. Sixth grade. But when's the last time you played with them, though? That's the thing. It was less to me at like your last hurrah. Like straight up like actually scenarios when I would play with them. It probably, um...

Because mine was 16 in my last one. Six. Oh, no. I had no, my imagination was shot by the time I was in high school. So I probably would like pull them out and like see if there was any magic. But like, it just the scenarios were gone because to me it was a whole continuous saga when I was a kid. My fucking rooms were different universes or dimensions or whatever the fuck. I would even like say like I had the Marr versus Capcom, but the X-Merve's street.

fighter toys where they would come in two packs and give you one X-mo one tree fighter and uh the the the cloth and stuff that they would have was pretty good so like i would steal ryu's pants or something i'd steal reused pants and then i would put them on like um i had the savage lands fucking arch angel and like so that niggin needed some pants so i was like this is way better like i would fucking like really like i was pretty detailed with my shit and um and then you get older and that i the whole the juices is fucking drain that's crazy they never went away from me But they, but I, but I just stopped. I was like, this is not what I'm supposed to be doing.

Well, they did, though. Like, playing with toys, it's not just play D&D. Because I just play D&D, you know? Like, D&D is just that literally again. This is the same shit again. It's not, it's like, there's rules, you know? But other than that, like, that was the same shit I did all the time. I remember 16th last time I, like, I got a bunch of my toys.

My grandma was like, oh, you're going to, we're going to donate these. And I was like, all right, but can we donate them, like, at the end of the week? Fuck, no, he ain't donated my fucking toys. I donated, because I wasn't. using them you know like I was like might as well give them to somebody nigger your kids can like I understand I understand that do you have anything that you want to like say say you have

kids do is there anything that you want to pass on your kids right now yes I have a few things what do you have I have a custom set of dice from Dunnese and Dragons that only I have that are Spider-Man dice I have that's gonna put him up his ass probably probably and it's going to break my heart

um I have that I have I have a bunch of books I have like a bunch of Afrocentric books and like Caribbean books I want to give to my kids and I have like obviously my comics. Fair enough comics is a good one. That's good one. I mean the other stuff's good too but I was thinking of more like something a kid would enjoy.

But they're gonna oh of course they're gonna be like dad what the literature The pulpevoo the fucking origin of the fucking Taino universe is like yeah this is really cool it's like no it's not I'm six no it's not man put on the 14th season of young Sheldon right now dad

I had these Spider-Man gloves I put on Cocomel I don't care I had these Spider-Man gloves I had these Spider-Man gloves with like an actual

thing in the palm where you could press it and it would make like a web shooter sound and I remember I would I would have that glove and then I put like the that web shooter mechanism on it

so that you could like get the sound of the web and the actual like silly string that toy is still fucking like fucking really high up there like they're They're still making that toy today for like Spider-Man related things. That's crazy.

Every time a new movie comes out, they have it. Too good. It's too good. Go to Toy. But anyway, let's move on. Let's get into some questions. That's so crazy, man. Inward blood.

I came out to my parents using Gadiotive. Jesus Christ, can you imagine? Hello trans-inclusionary radical misogynists. I recently became legal drinking. Wait. Age. And, wait, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it was like, I be, you, you, that sounds like you became legal while drinking.

What does that mean? That was like a weird sentence for me. Recently became legal drinking age, and on my first night out, a lady pelted me and my friends with ice cubes and lemon slices for 10 minutes. This kept going even after we switched to a booth. her friend chastised her for throwing crap at us then the drunk woman came to us smelling like booze and went to apologize with the most incoherent slurred speech I have ever heard after she left we found out that she might be banned

she was actually banned from the bar and shouldn't have been there at all my question for you guys is what is the weirdest experience you guys have ever had in a bar thanks thanks for the funny ha-haz and I hope you have a wonderful day in a bar the weirdest experience I've ever had in a bar my mind the thing that the place my mind goes to immediately is when when i first met

psyche pebbles when i first met zach and i met him he was like come to this i think was at a place called barney's beanery he goes come to barney's beanery i'm hanging out with with two other people i don't i haven't seen those guys in ages i don't know who they are but i showed up this is my first time meeting and we like dm'd on twitter he obviously like helped me he gave me like a voice or two for like a video before as paul i think when i first started using voices for him And we met up in person at this bar. And he's like, hey, what's up?

And then I'm coming in and I'm, you know, I'm, I'm saying hi and everything. And I'm sitting down and we're talking. And then this guy comes up really, really drunk. And he goes, like, I can't remember exactly what the conversation was. But he goes, well, you know, what's going on? What's everybody's story here? And then Zach, this is my first time meeting him. Zach points to me.

And he goes, he's a Hitler youth to this drunk man. This is what he did to me. This is my first meeting with Zach. I don't know, I don't have a feel for who this guy is yet. I'm just like vaguely friendly with him. I've watched this stuff for a long time. And he says like, this guy's a Hitler youth. And the drunk guy goes like, oh, yeah?

And I'm like, yeah, man, you know, what can I say? It's, uh, I just, I just went along with it because I was like, I, I just, I don't, that somehow felt like the least, like, because if I said no, I feel like he would have felt like, I don't know. I felt like it would have it would have been like a problem, like a way worse problem for whatever reason. Like I feel like he would have snapped. Like I don't know what reality is. Everybody's, everybody's fucking lying to me.

Everybody's like, what's true and what isn't? I thought it might have snapped. So I was like, yeah, you know, it's a living. You're Hitler youth, you know. Yeah, you know, I just, you know, I can't help it sometimes. I'm just, I'm just Hitler youth and around. And he goes, I'll never forget this. He goes, whoa, man.

Not my style, but I'm not one to judge. And he, and it was like, I wish I could remember, like, I got to talk. I got to ask Zach if he remembers, like, the majority of that. Because, like, I definitely forgot. But that was not my style. Not my style. He said something along the lines of like, you know, I don't agree with that. But like, you know, I say let live.

It's cool, man. I said let alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like I was like, you know what man. To you say around. I don't let live, man. You know, man, I don't fuck with that shit. But like, you know, if it brings you joy, you know, like go fucking, you know,

do what you got to do, man. We're all on this, we're all on this rock together just trying to find our place, man. You say it's just like shit like that. And he was just like slurring speech the whole time. I think he sat with us for like a good hour before he like trounced away. But yeah, that was, that's the, that's the story that comes to mind when I think of weird experiences. I have any weird bar experiences. I've seen like fights and like shootouts, but I've never like, never directly meet.

I've never seen people get shot. It's a freaking, the bar and pernipsy by where we grew up, absolutely. I saw somebody get shot there. And I was like, well, I'm not going to say anything. I'm leaving. That's it. Smart thing to do. It's so casual.

It's so casual. It's time for us to go. Dude, you have that feeling too, Derek. When someone starts getting loudly, I'm like, hmm, this guy is getting loud in a place where there's a lot of people here. That's not a smart idea. He has a weapon on him. You get up and you get out. That's it.

That's the only time. A lot of party in Norwalk. That should happen. That should happen a few times, actually, in Norwalk. I fucking hated that city. There's a bunch of degenerates there What's Norwalk? What is that?

It's by Paramount. What other cities does it surround? City of industry? Is it that area? No, no, no, no, no. It's a little bit before East Los. It's a little bit before East Lose. So, like, basically, if you know the city,

I don't know if you know, this is a lot more east of you, of you guys. But like, say, before you were hitting, East Lose and a little bit south There's like Southgate I know where Southgate is Norwalk there's Paramount and all these other shitty cities you know a lot of people that

People that they Reped their cities to the point where I was walking down the fucking street After I got from a party And I was this guy was like Well the fuck you from dog And I'm like not from here You better get the fuck out of my city And then I was like okay do I want to get killed or not

Because I was like I was like oh fuck I didn't realize you're the mayor bro and then and then he started I was like wait a minute I should probably stop because this is gonna end up with me dead but it was just so annoying that anybody like these people that exist and they like I'm just walking to my car and then this guy's fucking antagonizing me and I'm like it's like people that like where we're from we're from upstate New York right and I know we know we both know people that have tattoos of our area code our shitty ass fucking. lame ass nothing of fucking do ass town area cold on their body it's like how the fuck

like what kind of yeah fucking motherfucker are you 845 for life bro 845 it's like you idiot nigga you stupid bitch I gotta say something

I recognize how I recognize how stupid that shit is but I like it a little bit you're a dumb nigga you're a stupid you're a stupid you're stupid

You're stupid, bro Look, man, I was actually going to sell I was more concerned about making money But I never got around to it Because I recognize how much people Like this shit in my area too I was gonna make these 5, 62 family shirts Just to like, because they would fucking sell

Like hotcakes I never got around to it. You're not wrong at all That's actually, that's not a bad idea For the money, for the money I understand I understand Tricking idiots for money, it's fine

I don't feel bad about that Like people are like, people always are like Kingston. You don't feel bad. It's like, why would I feel bad? I'm not making people do this. I'm just supplying them what they're what they're going to do anyway. Also, look, look. Also, just generally, don't get numbers tattooed on you.

Just especially by themselves. Just not. I feel like there's just something about that that might not sit well with most people who see it. Look, dude. My friend, he got a. People are from places that are, worth getting tattooed the area like i don't think anyone's from a place like i'm not going to get 9-14 tatted on me i'm not going to get 718 or 2-1-1 or 9-17 because i'm from new york it's like

no you dumb motherfucker don't get that on your body i would rather why wouldn't you just get a just get a new york tattoo just like something something like that's fine it's just more is it more like concentrated like like i like i look there's there's a psychological reason why people like that because people like the three letter like almost like an acronym or something. Just three letter like a combination of something dot dot dot dot is

satisfactory and so I'm just like I feel like it's more of that than anything because people like you said why not get New York or get like say my dumbass has fucking LH because I grew up in La Habra so I got LH tattooed on me

just because like I like where I can't I like my city and I rep my city and I'm like That's fine That's fine I just think I'm a I think the numbers It's like to me Where you're from fucking sweetie

I don't go fucking I'm fine where I'm from I don't give a shit I don't like I don't fucking love it I don't love it to get on my body The fuck I like my city Well I'm also a motherfucker that has an eagle Swooping down a hot dog on me

You know I'll get anything on my body You know exactly you have you also have several tattoos So at a certain point is like what not to get Unless they don't get like You know There's certain things like getting a The numbers I'm whatever, a name.

Even, like, say, I said the only time you can never get a name is if it's family, it's got to be blood. Otherwise, like, anyone that's done anything else removed of, of, like, oh, my, my. You should get a photorealistic human vagina slightly above your dick.

That's fucking dope. Or on your dick. Fuck it on, like, fucking, like, just do it, like, right on where your paws and your dick and balls are, man. No, no, no, no, it wouldn't read. That's true. You know, my favorite tattoo I've ever seen is,

uh, It's Homer Simpson's face, but his eyes are Marge's tits. So it's like basically the eyes are tits, and then it's March like pulling up her top. Yeah, I've seen that one. It's like Homer Simpson's face, but it's like a hybrid. I can't even fucking envision this. What you're describing. So picture Marge Simpson pulling up her top, but then like her eyes are the beginning of Homer Simpson's head.

So like the eyes are homers and then it's like the rest of her body is like Homer Simpson's face. So it's like a hybrid. Okay. It's fucking. Sounds like an assy tattoo. I've seen it. It's freaky. It's fucking funny.

I don't know. Oh, the bar thing. The bar thing. Oh, shit. Yo, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. There's this fucking guy. Okay.

So I used to go to this bar called the Tomcat lounge in a Buena Park. And it was just karaoke. And, uh... That's fun. This fucking, this guy that, um... Let's just say he is his... He's severely mental disabled. Middle-hageable.

Nice. Nice. So he looked like, let's just say he dressed and looked like Doug funny. Bro. So this is like, so I'm just trying to give you. He had extremely tiny ears too.

It was fucking weird. So this guy, he fucking, it was his turn to do, his name was, well, I'm not gonna drop his name. Yeah,

but he, he fucking, his name was Gus. His time to do karaoke. Yeah, his name was Gus's chicken. And he, he fucking

when it was his time to do karaoke he so he did he did the star's male banner but uh he fucking dropped to his knees and the halfway through

he started crying it was the funniest fucking thing I ever seen him all life it was so fucking funny I was so funny I wonder if my friends remember this shit I just remembered that shit. I almost choked on a cashew.

Oh my god. That would break. That would break me. Do you have somebody crying from the Star Spangled banner is the funniest thing. He fucking got on his knees, too. It's like it was so broken. Do you remember the stuff like a banner? I was saying, can you see?

I don't remember how it starts. It's O'Say Can You See, no? O'Say Can You See by the dawn's early light. What so proudly we hail as the twilight's last. Gleaming. Gleaming or gleaming? I thought it was gleaming. Two broad stripes and bright stars.

Through the peril and strife. No. What? Is that it? I thought it was perilous. I thought it was perilous. something. I thought it was perilous fight or something.

I thought it was through the peril and strike. Oh, hon, hon. You guys, we got to play a lot. Let's play a little. Let's play a little. Let's play a game here. Like, you'll go, you'll go. You'll read it.

I'll, I'll let you know how close you are. Holy fuck. Star-Spangled Banner Lyrics. Don't look them up. Don't look them up. Neither of you. I'm really curious. I'm not, I'm not going to.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so, I'll say, can you see by the Dawn's Early Light What's So Proudly We Haled at the Twilight's Last gleaming, who's broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight. Yeah, so I was right, nigga. Yeah. For the round, for the ramp parts we watch.

As so gallantly streaming. We're so gallantly streaming. We're so gallows. As the rockets red glare. No, red glare. Red, I thought it's red glare. I don't, something's bursting in air. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, don't.

Wait, as the rockets, red glare. the bombs the bomb's bursting in air right gave proof to the night gave proof to the night that our flag was still there

oh say does that oh say does that star spangle banner and then everybody goes the last part for the land of the motherfucking free and the home of the motherfucking brave

yeah yeah so yeah the land of free in the home of the there's like for the land that was the Native Americans that we took and the whole of the not niggas

I had the not niggas. And the whole of the not niggas. I had no idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had no fucking clue. There were four verses to this. Wait, there's more songs? There's more words.

There's more verses. There's like, that's the first of four verses. No way. Jesus Christ. On the shore dimly seen through the mists of the deep. Where the foes, hot tree hose, and the dreads sign. I want a whoop his ass. This is real.

This is real. The complete version of the Star-Spangled Banner showing spelling and punctuation from Francis Scott Key's manuscript in the Maryland Historical Society Collection. Let's go pry open his coffin and slap him. How amazing. Make him suck our dicks. Yeah. Look, look, look, look, look. Look, look.

Look, look. Look. Look. Yo. I read something that Kim Kardashian preserved, like, bought Rasputin's dick. Is that real? no way I keep hearing

I keep hearing about that motherfucker's dick man it's not that big they put like a cow dick in like a jar and said it was his dick or something No you don't understand it's his real penis But it shrunk in the it shrunk in the liquid So it's actually it was actually massive So it was like insane

It was like it was like 17 inches Yeah it was this thick It was as thick as a planter's cashew's container And it was as long as in Arizona And it was tall as in Arizona And it's as the fucking players, too That's a fucking hog He's just passing out

Even when he's semi hard He's got a fucking chub He's like all like just light at it That's why they couldn't kill him bro So he couldn't kill him dude When he would get hard He'd fall out the way of the bullets All the assassination attempts

Whenever he ate the poison And all the blood went to his dick So the blood the poison didn't move through his body fast enough It stayed in one place And by the time he wasn't hard was five. Can I just say that I really love the fact that we have an entire American national anthem and we are so lazy that we cut it, we cut the last three-fourths of it off. Thank God, though.

That's the Star-Spangled banner. That's not the National Anthem. Imagine how fucking long-ish. That's what we just said. That's the-it- It's the same thing. Yeah, what the fuck? No, there's two different songs. No, there's no. What's the National Anthem?

What's the hell you're talking about? What's the national anthem? is the Star Spangled Banner. I thought they were too... No, wait. No, there isn't a song called the National Anthem. The National Anthem is a Star-Spangled Banner.

You're right. You're right. Right. And it's a shit one because all it is is just the fucking... The American... It was just trolling. It was literally just trolling.

Like, oh, they just took the fucking melody from God Save the Queen. Yeah. And I was like, that's fucking gay. Are you thinking... Are you thinking of... Uh... Men at Work?

The band? Land Down Under? which is like Australia's national anthem. What are we talking about? I'm living in a land down, and da. That's the Australians. Who's fucking,

Oh my God. Is that theirs? No, you're right. I'm sorry. That's the, that's, my brain is reduxing.

I was like, wait, there are different songs, aren't they? No, you're right. No, the national anthem is,

the national anthem is the star's mango, Ben. I don't know why I thought, because we, it was the pledge of allegiance. Okay, I'm thinking, the pledge of allegiance to national anthem were said,

side by side. I was going to say that, but I was like, that's not a song. So I'm like, that's what my brain's like going through and going through. I remember most. Well, no, what happened is in school. You say I'm both at tandem. When you were literally, at least when we were very small, we'd sit them both in tandem. We never said in national. I never sang that fucking shit. I never said that song. I definitely sing them both in New York City school for a little bit. Not through all of my schooling bit. Like I sung it. Like I sung it. Can I talk about maybe like third grade? Can I tell you that school sucks? I have sincerely never in my life.

been in a classroom where they sang the national anthem. They were like rise for the national anthem and a star spingo banner. Every day? And in my little dumbass, I'd put, yeah, and I put my little hand over my heart. And I would sing it. We didn't do the full one.

We didn't do the full one, but we did the pledge of allegiance in the anthem. How old did you, how old were you when you finally understood the pledge of allegiance? I didn't even understand what that fucking even meant. Pledge of Allegiance meant when I was, meant when I was fucking I was a little kid

and I eventually like you don't have to we were like oh you don't have to say if you don't want to and I was like okay I don't want to I just stop saying it Did you even understand what you were saying? No because I was a kid that's what I'm saying How old were you into like oh wait a minute I had I pledged leads to the flag of the United States of America And to the Republic for which it stands like

The fuck I don't what the fuck I know what the republic is when I'm fucking I'm saying I'm not the god Indivisible With liberty justice for I was like I didn't know what any of that shit meant No me neither I honestly thought, you don't have to say it anymore. I stopped saying it. I was like, this is dumb.

I thought for, like, you had to stand, though. Yeah. Yeah, I remember specifically thinking at one point, this is like when I was like slowly learning what it meant. I thought like, are we doing the Pledge of Allegiance because learning can't happen unless we, unless we do this chant? Is this like an incantation? Like, is this like a spell? That's fair. I can't learn until you do it.

Yeah, like. It was like, it was like, all rise. little kids saying this shit and none of us had a war they literally could have made us say anything and that i mean they what you go they have children get baptized you know like clearly they make kids do shit i love those videos and they're doing you know like really like slamming those kids in the fucking bucket fucking and you see and you see the dad you see the dad like you see the dad like you see the dad like making their fists like he's hurting my fucking kid but i can't this guy molested me when i was younger i can't swing on it

This guy fucked me when I was a kid. Did you see that video of the... I'm gonna get him too. I'm gonna get him too. Did you guys see the video of the guy like doing like those heavy dunks and then the baby's head hits the... It makes like a thing.

It makes like a ding. And the dad's like... The dad's like what the baby's fine. Like it's not a... But it's so fucking funny. It's like, things. And then the dad's like, yo. Why are they so violent?

No, there's one when the guy drops the kid. He literally drops the kid out of his hands. And everyone's, freaking out. The guy is just like, oh, man, I messed up. I really,

but my whole job is, my whole job is dunking babies in a puddle of water and I just can't seem to figure it out today. I guess I'm just going to go. Glass onion sounding mother of,

we need a plan, Dutch. Oh, damn. Listen here, Arthur. I can't fucking get a job doing this in the next five

cities. I done fucked up. I guess I gotta go back to the Vatican and ask for forgiveness to protect him anymore there's no more no more cities to protect him Can you imagine if he had to go to the Vatican

every time you want to forgiveness Holy shit They would do it like Oh you killed another kid Oh that's cool Like just go here You go to this Italian church And try not to you know

Fuck all the kids You know like you know Like You go to this church in Italy Speak to this guy behind this This piece of paper in this fucking broom closet and act like God's gonna forgive you. It's fucking sorry for all the Catholics out there.

I'm sorry, it's very respectful. Let's look. Look, I, let me, let me, let me just say, I, I was Catholic for a long time. My family's Catholic. Whatever. It's, uh, it's silly, but I'm not. I think we can, I never have been. Fuck you guys, y'all are weird.

Y'all are weird. Y'all worship of woman that got pregnant by the fucking wind and that's fucking stupid. That's dumb. Y'all are dumb. are stupid. I don't even care about that shit. Of course, that shit's just dumb. I'm just like,

how are niggas are still a part of this organization when so many of the people that look up to who just fucking all the kids? I don't know. It was worse before. That's crazy.

They're juggling them on their dick. They're like jumping them on their dick. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever.

We'll let TJ Kirk handle this. Let's move on. Look, Chris is defensive. Oh, my family's in this. Oh, my family's in this. Oh, no. No, I don't give it. No, I don't give it.

It's, it's just more about. Leave Benedict alone. I don't care. It's more of it. It's more about it being very, very 2012. And it just, like, feels very 2020. But it, like, pulls me back. I just, eh.

It's like very 2012 YouTube where it was just like a bunch of atheists. And it was just like, it was, I agreed with it, but it was like very cringe as well. So I'm just like, ah. Let's, let's move on. They were saying the N-word. That's why I wasn't funny. I don't think shit on pedophiles is cringe, so I disagree. Like, I'll be.

I don't have a problem with pedophiles. Fuck those motherfuckers. Oh, I thought, Whoa, okay. Dude, that's, I'm gonna cut that. It's more the religious stuff. It's just like, all right, we don't believe it got. All right, we get it.

Like, I just kind of tired. I wasn't even, like said, I said, I don't care about that shit. I don't care about these motherfuckers juggling kids on their laps and shit. Oh, yeah, yeah. That shit that piss me off, man. Oh, that's funny. Like, fucking. But, yeah.

That's funny. I mean, it's funny, and I agree in a, in a, in a, in a dark way. No, no, we're not doing any more questions. This is it. Thanks, guys. All right. Bless.

You imagine, if you imagine there's like a real, like situation where like some, some like altar boy like opened a door that he wasn't supposed to. And instead of seeing like a like it's the worst thing he's ever seen, it's just priests juggling babies. Like just juggling them. And that was what the scandal was. And dropping them. No, no, no, no.

given a fuck. No, they're not dropping them either. They're like, they're really proficient. Like, it's, like, it's like some cat in the hat shit. We're, like, they're balancing on top. They're standing on top of an umbrella, and that umbrella is balanced on a volleyball. And they're just like, they're juggling babies. Like, it's fucking Dr. Seuss.

And then a little altar boy comes in, and he goes, like, what the fuck? And he goes, he goes, no, no. No, Alden, I swear, we were pedophiles. Yeah, tell him we're fucking you. Yeah. Because that's better than being a juggler. This whole time, they've just been juggling.

They were just covering. They were covering for being jugglers by... It's like the worst thing you could be in that religion. It's a jugglers. They had to be like, that's so ridiculous I can't laugh at it. Because it's just like, what?

They'd rather just tell them, tell them we sleep with underage boys. It's like, what? You'd rather that, I would. This can't get out. You don't understand.

You don't understand. This will ruin us. You don't get through repercussions. You're not old enough to understand it, but trust me. People forgive. People. We're done. People make excuses for pedophiles all the time.

No one respects a juggler. You know? No one respects a juggler. You kind of got a point there, man. There's nobody does respect a juggler. No. It's not like I saw that guy doing vaping tricks. You ever see those guys?

Oh, yeah, yeah. They make all these circles. They do tricks. Like, they're the new age jugglers. Like, that is the least, there's no ounce of respect for that guy and he spent hours tens of thousands of hours perfecting his craft

like wow you wasted your life dude that sucks just catch an axe in the middle of your face bro bro that sucks I can't you smoke without making silly little shapes out of his fucking in a shop like I was I saw him and he's making these goofy noises because he's blowing it out

like literally that and then I was just like I was hoping a car was going to smash into the building and kill him I was just waiting for something to happen and it didn't happen. He just kept doing it. Catch a fucking, Chin Ha-Doken, bitch. You're out here fucking doing baby.

Just go run in front of a car on the highway, a little bastard. That's the thing that's going to make you so mad. All right. I want to get to this one. Mr. Hot Salsa wrote in. He goes, hello, dingus, Wingus, and Zat Branigan. I'll let you all decide who's who. We're not going to do that. We're running a long time.

I'm writing to say that Chris almost made me drive off the road during a blizzard when he compared Andrew Tate to a Roswell alien due to me laughing. Have you ever... It is... Have you seen that video, that screenshot of him going around

where it's like... Yes. He looks like a fucking Roswell alien in that screenshot for, like, absolutely. And he goes like... Yeah, yeah, I almost rode my... drove my car off the road during a Blizzard

when he compared Andrew Tate to a Roswell alien, do you'll be laughing? Have you ever been in a situation where a sneeze or laughter almost made you crash your car? I... I... I...

have not, but I have thought, I've thought a lot about how, like, about the hypothetical of, every now and again, we have, we have some pretty funny moments on this show. And I have to, like, yeah, I genuinely think about that sometimes. Like, I think about, like, if we just cracked a joke and we just like, ah, ha, ha, and then, like, you know, they miss a red light or something. Like, I think about these things, because it's like, it must have, it must have, it must have happened at least once. That's the thing.

Like, I feel like it must. That's so crazy. That's crazy. We killed people. Because I really, I really don't give a fuck. Like, it's really bad, but like, I just, I can't, like, if I allow myself to feel bad for everyone that's been hurt by me in passing, I worked at Starbucks. And I definitely gave people a caffeinated coffee when they wanted decaf, you know. I definitely, people definitely, like, wanted Splend, like, I'm alert to Splenda.

And I'd probably mistakenly put Splendid in. once or twice, you know? Like, I can't let myself feel. I can't let myself feel that. Yeah, doesn't I be like, oh my, I'm a sociopath. You're a sociopath. I'm not a sociopath. I just understand that there's so much matter being displaced every moment. I'm just being anywhere that if I allow myself to feel bad for hurting anyone, not intentionally, I will be overwhelmed by how many terrible things I've done just by existing. So I just don't let that in. That's fair, but You've done a lot of terrible things. That's pretty bad.

Probably by mistake, mostly too. You know what I think about too? How many cars probably stopped short because of me and how many people blow up in passing, you know? You know, I used to think too a lot about like just the... I don't think about it anymore because I don't drive really because my car's in New York. But like I used to think about the idea of just like your car

being physical displacement. You know, like just the idea, just the idea that like your presence on the road would be assumed by someone else and that kind of puts everybody else on like an off like a staggered world placement. It's just like it's just where other people are because of you existing. It's not displacement, you know, it's not like it's supposed to be there. It's just you're there instead of it being there. So it's just something isn't where it would be with you minus.

Well, there is no. It's like displacement, you know. It is, it is, though. It's not, there's no supposed to anywhere. Like it's supposed to implies intent. It's not about like necessarily intent. It's about like, you know, if I sit, if I jump into a bathtub, I'm displacing that water. It's not because that water is supposed to be there.

That water just happens to be there. And I happen to be going in it and I'm displacing the water. It's the same situation. Because I feel like displacement means like you're, it just gives a degree of intent. That's why I don't want to give intent because it's like this is happening because. I feel like it erases intent actually because it's just. the root of it. It's just like displacement.

There's like no moral thing tied to it. It's literally just like, okay, you are here. Therefore, this person who is currently behind you would be here. It would be where you are. But now they're there, which means somebody probably missed a light that they wouldn't have missed. I think about that a lot. It doesn't help. That time when you slow down the bus from going to that next stop because it stopped for you.

And then that lady ran out of house from her husband that was trying to stab her to death. And she would have gotten to that bus that would have taken her to safety me. Because you made that bus slow down. That bitch got stabbed in death. I can't. I can't. God's will. Exactly.

It's bigger to me at that moment, you know. Okay. So here's a question. If you died and you had the option to look at your post-game report, your stats. Okay. And like, and everything you could possibly. want to know is on that is on that stats it's everybody like everybody that uh you've benefited everybody that you've uh you know deficit it doesn't sound like a right word but also at the same

time benefited but harmed harmed uh or like and so like on that list of stats is people directly like yeah your indirect kill count would you would you take a peek would you be curious could you imagine could you imagine if you got a certain number you get a chance you get a one more chance to come back. So you see it and you're like, oh, man, if I only would have made eight more people die from car accidents, I would have been, I would have woke up from this coma. Fuck. I feel like it would operate on, what's that sport that goes in reverse?

What's that sport that goes in reverse? Or tennis? I can't remember which one. It's golf. Tennis is like 31. Yeah, you want the smaller number better. Yeah, yeah. I feel like that's the, like, the person who has zero gets another chance.

Zero, God damn Yeah I mean, I guess it's totally possibly Just gotta be like Although A hermit, you know Alone, you'll be alone Yeah, I guess that's probably not a great example

I don't know I think it's just got to be under I think it's got to be under five You know? Yeah Under five No I do I

I think we are all I think all of us I think all of us I think all of us I think all of us are sincerely I think all of us are sincerely probably in the hundreds. I think I'm in a thousand.

I think your average person is in the hundreds, to be quite honest with you. I think that I think sincerely like... And then old people got big numbers because all they do exist is just hurting the rest of the world. Every time old buff up votes for a tax bill that's got a fuck up the rest of the planet, that shit. Yeah. Yeah, they're killed. Yeah, they're raised.

Imagine the one. Imagine boomers out here making things worse for no reason. Imagine the one dude, the one dude who brought COVID out of Wuhan. That one dude. The one person that dropped that vial, wherever COVID was being held, oh no. No, no, no, no.

He doesn't know it. No, it's indirect. It's indirect. He doesn't know it. He had, like, they had it all under control in like a Wuhan lab or whatever. It's like, okay, there's a little outbreak, but we got it under control. And then the dude, like, oh, I don't have it because it's the test is I don't. All right.

See ya. And then he leaves his entire life. He lives through the pandemic. It's like, wow, what a crazy pandemic. He goes to his entire life. He lives his entire life. He has a family. his kids, he has a fucking retirement party,

all sorts of things. He gets cancer. He's like, slowly dies. He goes, like, I'm not going to get chemo because I'm in the last part of my life anyway. Like, big deal. Like, fucking whatever. I'm probably going to die have natural age before the cancer kills me. And then he, like, passes away silently in his sleeve. And then he meets St. Peter at the Holy Gates. And he goes, listen.

This is going to fucking surprise you. But you have a kill count of literally millions. You've killed millions of people. You've changed the way the world worked. He's like, oh, fuck, yeah. And then he goes like, Sick.

Not righteous. That's kind of cool. Righteous. That'd be crazy. He's like, I'm sorry. So anyway, I can't. But you got to go downstairs.

Yeah, you got to hell, nigga. Yeah, sorry. You got to go to hell. That's fucking what the idea of like being punished for like completely indirect. Oh, man. Are you, what are you doing? Are you juggling?

Yeah. He's like, we got a juggler. Yeah. Juggler. No, no, no, no, no, no. We got a juggler. Bancled. Bancled.

Bancled. Canceled. Don't say that. They see people come in my room and grab me. They just put me down. No, no, I'm not. Back over his head and shit. They get a bag over my head.

They hit me with a nightstick like four times in the head. The second time I'm not moving anymore, but they just walt me two more times and they drag me out. It's like, whoa, dude. I love the idea of a world. He's not on the podcast anymore. They find me a juggler. They live stream me in Guantanamo Bay. Damn.

I love the idea of like a foot loose style world, like a footloose world where instead of dancing it's like juggling, like juggling is like a really shameful thing. And so like even if you do something like, even if you do something like really mundane where it's like, I don't know, you like throw your keys up a little bit and catch them again. Like people look at you funny. You caught them with the other hand. That's fucking technically juggling. Oh yeah, yeah.

Never throw something to your other hand. Because they'll fucking, they'll neuter you, dude. I'm a bat to your face. Like you catch it with the other hand and then a bat just hits your fucking face. You wake up in the hospital. You got to hope, oh, no, it's all my money. You have your wallet

and you like trip and your wallet goes from one hand and you got to really think, do I want to catch my wallet and like have all of my money or like let it fall? You gotta hope one of your friends catches it. And we're like, here you go, man. Because if not, bro, if you catch that shit,

have fun in a barracks, bro. I found in a gulag. I just love it. They just torture you for something so insignificant. I love it. But it's, it's justified. Jugglers are just the bane of, just the blight on humanity. Absolutely. Jugglers.

All right. The worst. Got any other questions? Are we good? There's one more, but like I kind of want to think about it a little bit. so I'm going to highlight in a different color I think I want to get that to next episode it's a really good one by

by Domo Nation so if you're hearing this Domination we'll get you next episode it's a good question We got you bro We got you But what the fuck For about two hours

It's a longer away episode We want to go All right cool yeah But awesome All right so Yeah that was I don't know This is a podcast

This is a Stark Tank podcast Thanks for stopping by Go on over to Patreon.com Slats of Starktank To figure out how you can help us over there there's extra episodes there too. Patreon exclusive episodes. So go check those out.

They're pretty fucking cool. And yeah, I think now we're going to read, we're going to read our lovely patrons' names. So whenever you got, whenever you're ready. Okay. Three, two, one. Whenever you're ready, just count me down. Go.

You are going to count down? Three, two, One. Whenever you're ready, man. Now. Piss bed. Domo Nation. L.J.

Piss bed is the first. What is a PDF file? And why is everyone mad at my uncle? That's pretty good. That's pretty good. That's like a good. There's some layers to that one. Sweeney is secretly a drag queen.

Secretly. The game, I wouldn't say that. Uh, yeah, it's not a secret at all. We've all known. The game Ultra Kill has built a... The game Ultra Kill has built in vibrating butt plug support. Carry on with this knowledge and have a blessed day.

Right. That's hilarious. Star Coffee. Dennis Odevin is pregnant. A urethra that can only be compared to Pene, but my cock is still small. Oh, man. That's fucking sickening. Can you imagine having a ureth that says

That's as wide in diameter As a piece of panay pasta But you got a small penis Yeah It's like somebody folds over a piece of paper At least you can piss really fast You know It just falls out

It's like a chunk of pea You're just done A cube of pea One solid cubic pee All right That 90s show was mid But it was nice to see the gang again I actually watched a couple episodes

of that and it was fine I didn't hate it I didn't I didn't I think it was particularly good But I don't know I didn't think it was that bad really I will say though Those parents those parents carry Like red and kid red and kitty carry that show I think they probably carried it back in the 70s to be honest

In the 70s show too But They still carry That first show's really good man That 70 shows are very like that's one of my favorite television shows of all time I love it bro I actually don't think I actually don't think I've watched it

in a chronological way. Like, I've only seen, like... I've seen it every episode at least twice. That's wild. Three times, man. At least twice I've seen every episode. My fucking roommates were just watching it last night. It was crazy.

I was like, what the fuck? Yeah, I just never... Is it streaming anywhere? Like, where is it streaming? I'm assuming it's on Netflix just because they dropped the 90 show. Yeah, it's on Netflix. Are you sure?

Yeah. Yeah, it is. I'm just assuming it is like, why wouldn't you have that on there if you had on that 90s show on there, you know? Sometimes that happens. Yeah, it's true that when things are just so astronomically stupid. Oh, it's on fucking peacock. Oh, no shit. Yeah.

Oh, I have peacock for a dollar for a year. What? It's one of those Black Friday deals. It's on there. It's not on Netflix anymore? Well, it was on there for a long, long, long time. Yeah, yeah. Seinfeld was on there for a while, too.

And then Seinfeld went to Hulu for years, and then it came back. to Netflix. I don't know. These licensing things are fucking annoying. It might still be on Netflix because I was watching Seinfeld in the summer on Netflix. It's on Netflix. It's on Netflix. It's on Netflix. Okay. Yeah, I was watching the summer and so it's good that it's still on there. Yeah, Seinfeld's still there. But yeah,

that 90 show is not... Hang in a night. I don't hate that 90 show. I don't think it's all that good, but it's, you know, I haven't seen it yet, but I've saw people say they liked it. Yeah, it's fine. It's 100% better than Velma, but if you're going to watch something, watch this. Don't watch

Belma, watch that 90s show. Damn, we forgot to talk about that shit, man. We've got plenty of time. Oh, Extra ammo. Something just happened that made me really warm. My heart very warm. My heart very warm. What made you a heart?

I'm not going to bring it. Because she was going to make fun to me about it. No, what made your little gay little heart warm? I tweeted something about Star Wars and my girlfriend responded something about a character that I love a lot in the series, so it made my heart very warm. You're right. That wasn't even worth sharing. Yeah.

I had a gay moment like that. I'm sorry. Go ahead. Just finish the shit. No, what was your game moment? I'm curious now. Oh, just my fucking battle axe ball and chain blight. She was like, oh, yeah, once I'm done playing Odyssey,

she wants to do the Mass Effect trilogy, and I'm just like, yeah, that's, that's, that's, see, I knew there's a reason why we called your wife. I get it now. That's what like old white men call their wives. That's a, that's a Norman. That's a, Norman McDonald's. Norm MacDonald used to say that about his wife

who he didn't even have He didn't even have He wasn't married He just lied He's a fucking chronic He's a lot about shit I love Norma Tom The gnomes that drilled

A cavern into Logan Paul's head Scream Team Clit Yeastwood Transfem gremlin Can Logan Paul abandon a million pigs My sexual awakening was that Quarky Gokgirl from NCIS Now my taste in women

is ruined. It started as P, then upgraded to a poop. Get out of here. Squishy and his four big comes. The Angelic Dungeon Master who is trying desperately to convince the rogue that robbing the King of Hephasid is a terrible idea. My landlord upped my rent by

my landlord upped my rent by $40 so I'm going to change my pledge for a bit. Thank you for reading my dumb names, Chris. No problem dude. Fuck your landlord. No worries, dude. Thank you for even being here. I appreciate it. Fuck your landlord though. Yeah, fuck your landlord. Actually, I was just watching Hey guys, watch Somemore News.

If you guys don't follow the YouTube channel, Somemore News, they just dropped a video on expensive housing. Oh, sick. Wait, what was it called? Well, the housing market's broken. Somemore News. If you know, Cody Johnson. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, summer news, yeah.

So, fucking, dude, his Elon, you just did a part one and two on Elon. They just did that fucking brilliant. I love that channel. It is good. It's like, it should, yeah, it's good stuff. Let's see, let's see, let's see. Where the fuck was that? Yeah, my let...

Yeah, don't worry about that. Fuck your landlord. He sucks. Marcia, when my landlord fucking raised the rent $700. Yeah, I remember that. I was really lit. I had to find a new place to live in four months.

It was fucking awesome. Yeah, I really loved... I really loved how fucking stressful and stupid that was. Dr. 8, PhD. Very smart. Craig, the Canadian. It's your boy. Shawnee D.

Root beer is the best soda. Fight me on this. I'm not gonna... I don't like soda at all. So I'm not going to fight you on that. Matt Walsh is a hero of our time, sweet baby gang for life. Come, man, the man of come. Indie Butterknife on YouTube.

Happy endings, smoke shop. You smoke them, we stroke them. It's not bad. I like it. I like it. What's with these homies to send my girl? Oh, God. Lisa Piss and her collection of lion foreskins.

3XO at Genesis 9. I got a ton of polaroids with top smash melee players now. Sweeney, quickly, there's a Twitter account called Sweeney's Guy. Go there in Scan the Code to see a video. Way to skip my name. Listen, I got you this time, all right? Don't worry about it. Slapping, eat, and stroke and gulping.

Oh my God, the emoticons are going like this now. They change directions. Thank you for letting me know in your subtle way that you're still alive. Stormboy's life and what do you like? Give me, money, money, me, money now. Me, a money needing a lot now. that's so stupid begging for money

I love shit that's written so dumb that it just It becomes funny Give me money money me money now me a money needing a lot now Is awesome Call her little seasons Throw her pussy hot and ready drip MH Lord of Drip Nancy Pelosi killing a Palestinian with her massive tits

Obi won't you blow me I have resurrected the from the ashes of Sweeney's swamp ass I now I want to know can you show me I want to know about these strangers like me. Let's go. How many songs blow me? Oh, wait, don't fucking... You know, I'm still getting hit about that shit?

Still? Just tweet it and pin it to your profile. I don't want that on my profile. Why not, dude? I mean, I'll put it on the snark tanks. I can't put it on my shit. No, no, no, no, no, no, don't do that. I support it.

I support it. No, no, no, don't do that. Don't do that. Seriously don't do that. At least, you know, you should run it through like a little bit of a blur, so it's like kind of, but you could still. Okay, I'm fine with that. I'll put a mosaic over it and then I'll fucking put it.

I'm fine with that. Fair enough. I want to know. Can you show me? That's a. I want to know if there's strangers like me. As Tarzan is just elated. He's just elated.

D.S. principal John Paveo arrested on charges of felony drug possession. What up my Bizzigas? I'm Black Sheldon Cooper from Gang Gang Theory. Are you serious? And you're watching Kunami. Bizzas. God damn it.

I love it. I love it. That's full circle, man. You should sell that fucking shirt. Bissigas? Bizzas. Banzigas. gang gang theory

That's fucking awesome Fred Jones using the mystery machine For bang bus Oh my god Mitch McConnell's tour to shell That has to be a thing Oh absolutely Okay you said it right

Avi welcome to Andrew Tate's kidnapped women And little Dick and Porin Fragile masculinity sold separately Louis Armstrong's voice I see rows of cocks Fat ball sacks Two I see them grow

For me and you and I think to myself. Oh, come on, you didn't finish it? What a one. That's a, that's a cliffhanger right there. Yeah, it's a cliffhanger. You gotta fix it next time. Wageleigh, 583.

Pussy and Tim's the last Crip. Let's go. It's a good movie. I stand by it. I feel gay. Fuck you. The Pippini Brothers Emporium of Obama's Let's Play Clips.

and whoa I didn't see I didn't know like I would come off from the other screen there Bo you see that God damn Bo did you see that that's fucking excellent

that would actually be a really funny video just him and Obama are just playing through Counterstrike and they're unbeatable Bo and Obama are literally unstoppable in CSGO

yo I love those videos of people like doing impressions in like called duty lobbies and they just like... Yeah. It's actually some wonderful, like, a little subgenre of content. It's almost as good as, like, that subgenre of image where it's like, I don't know, some... Like, like, an unlikely crucifixion.

Like, it's like that Sonic on a crucifix or, like, that Digimon tied up to a cross. Dude, that Gobulmon on a Crucifix is one of my favorite images on the internet, dude. It's a fucking great image. It's just a little dog. Someone crucified a Digimon. That is so insane. He's on it, and it makes it fun. they gave him a little platform so he's not dangling.

They gave him a platform. All he wanted to do is hurt his hands. That's so ridiculous. They just wanted to hurt his little hands. They give him somewhere to stand. I didn't even think about that. All right. An Asian hit me with her car and said that she didn't see me.

Ooh. Dang, that does, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. Oh, boy. That's a 2006 joke, bro. That's just... That's why it's funny. But that's why it's funny.

It's like quaint now, in comparison. Culturally unaware snake. Fun fact, if you fuck a bitch that has cancer, you technically had some limited edition pussy, have a nice day. Tell him Steve Dave. Andre Brooks. That's just his name. God is alive because Andrew Tate is going to be kicked and come in prison soon.

John Strickland. John Strickland, burp. Oh, wow, I fucking burped before this. And it was like, I wasted it. It was like a... Oh, let me see if I can do this. Morty, the truth is I loved beating my wife

while texting miners, Morty. That's why she died, Morty. I can't do Rick at all. Morbid as shit, dude. I can't do Rick at all. Marks 1889. Come on, Morty. I can do it.

I can do it. I can do it. Come on here, Morty. Come here, Morty. Meya, come here, Morty. Ross, grab Morty. What I do with Marty? Hey, let's do.

Marty. Moir. Yo, get out of the screen. Get out of my screen like that. Help me, Morty, help me, Morty. I'm fucking Dadan over here, Marty. It's Morty, but it's sloth. It's Morty with Sloth.

That's just, that's just, no, that's Bob. That's base, I didn't even realize I could do that. That's just Bobcat fucking, what's his name? Bobcat Goldthwaite. Have you ever seen that? You know that guy, right? No, that name doesn't, what's that name?

It's that comedian who has, he's the voice of one of the, one of the little demons in Hercules, but that's also just his voice. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. know exactly who he is. I know exactly who he is. I don't know, man. He was agony. I'm losing my mind over here, man. Like, that guy had a fucking wild voice. Wait, wasn't they pain and panic?

One of them... Pain and Panic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was pain and panic. I thought it was pain and agony. Why don't get me wrong? No, it was pain and panic. He's also, uh, he also made a movie that same guy. He made a movie called Shakespeare the Clown about an alcoholic clown. It's got Tom Kenny and fucking Kathy Griffin and fucking all sorts of random. Adam Sandler's in it. I'm sorry, it's called The What Again?

I swear to guys. It's called Shakes the Clown. I swear to you. And it opens with a little boy peeing on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, on a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, he's a, I, I can't believe I didn't want to wake you. It's fucking. No, no, no, he's like, he's just shakes. It's like, he's like, is he shake? No, he's just shakes.

I, I, I can't believe I didn't bring this up earlier. I watched it. Uh, where the fuck did I watch this? I watched it at Paul. with Gabby and we were just like an Alex and we were just like what the fuck is this I I don't know what it's the clown man yeah look it up hey I'm shakes the clown I took fucking Pfizer it's oh whoa whoa dude oh we didn't talk about that the fucking the all those people like the vibranes oh the fysifred do the fyser frenzy

bro the one that way close of the girl was the freaking which the glorious the fun that should had me in tears bro oh the yeah that shit had me in tears it is sincerely insane that that shit is happening. I love that so much. It's just a bunch of people intentionally doing like talking heads like big suit dances. And I don't know.

I'm like these things are so funny. They're so funny. They're my favorite videos right now. Like I love, every time I see a new one, I like my eyes light up. They are height to your content. I got to admit. It's pretty good. Okay, DreamWorks is back. Baby. The first Church of Keith David. There are consequences to saying the end word.

Derek genuinely thinking he can fuck up a fully grown wolf is Andrew Tate level retarded I don't think I disagree I don't think I disagree with Derek to be honest I don't think I don't think that whoever wrote that probably doesn't know how big wolves are on average wolves are bigger than they're bigger than like German shepherds but they're not as big as like St. Bernard's I don't I think there's a lot of wolves and a lot of them the average wolves are not fucking huge I'm thinking of like timber wolves, that's why. I'm thinking of like a gray wolf. That's what I'm not, yeah.

I'm not even at the end of the day. I think Derek could potentially kill it, but I think Derek could die from being like beaten and wounded and bleeding. Like I think you could win the fight, but I don't think you'll survive. The whole idea of, like just real quick, the whole idea like wolves are in packs, that's why they fuck people up. One-on-one, it's not that bad. It's not going to be the worst. It's not like taking on a fucking cat that is way stronger, even, even

Even smaller cats are just very fucking strong. You know, like, you're like, oh, and then they have razor sharp claws, so you're probably going to get something sliced up or something. Cats are dangerous. Cats are more dangerous. A cat the size of a wolf can, like, put its hand on, put its paw on you, and then, like, quickly, like, retract and unretract its claws. And then you're dead. You're a dead person. But, like, here's the thing.

Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I think, I think, Derek, in the woods, in like a remote part of the woods, he's, like, miles of. he's like miles away from any civilization against the wolf, I think he would kill the wolf, but you would still die. You would be in a...

There's a possibility that I would bleed out. You'd bleed out or something? If you, in the middle of Burbank, if you fought like a wolf or something, and the same exact scenario happened, I think you'd be fine. They'd pat you up. You'd walk into the CVS and you'd be like,

you'd be fine. That's the thing, like cats? It's just not that, like, it's, I think, people are more afraid of the idea of wolves than an actual, like, wolf. Like, wolves look different. They look different from dogs. They're bigger. They have bigger paws, that bigger heads, right?

They don't look that much different from, like, a husky. No, they're much bigger than huskies because these aren't that big of dogs. No, some of our marr. No, some huskies are very, that's what I see. No, no, you're thinking like a Malamute, like a Malamute. Even wolves are bigger than Malamute. Timber wolves. I've lived with huskies, sir.

Oh, dude, my friend, my cousin had a husky. understand. I am a husky. My mom's husky first. My mom's husky lao was not a small dog at all. I'm not saying they're small, but like, you know what Alaska Malamute is, right? Yes. They're just bigger huskies, right? Right. So, they're just scaled up.

It's just like, it's not that, like, I feel like there's a lot of people that don't understand what, like, if you were just to take, like, an average wolf or something and they would probably like, oh, it's not as intimidating as I thought. It pretty much just looks like a fucking

dog. Yeah. If this was the old, if this was the old days, if this was the old days before all these wolves got all fucking beta and soy, then like, you know, then there might be a problem. But these days, but these days there's so many wolves that are just like fucking complete soy,

like just total soy fucking like wolves. Soy fucking half hungry, star fucking mostly coyote-ass motherfucking wolves. They can't do shit to me. I'd run through all those motherfuckers. Every wolf you'll run to do nowadays is woke and annoying. Like I saw a bunch of wolves Just to ignore

Pray just because it was a minority Sincerely I saw this This is like I don't know what this I don't know what this world is fucking Can you kill you because you're a black person They're like sorry we don't kill black people We're not we're not doing that right now Yeah yeah

They're woke wolf Yeah so They're good The average size of a wolf Stand um you know like On its on its both it's on four of its legs Is is less than three feet What

They're not big Like I'm telling you Oh, yeah. Several kinds of wolves. I'm talking about average, because we're not talking about the biggest fucking wolf, because first of all, I'm not going to fight the biggest wolf.

I'm just thinking of like the kinds of wolves. There's like red wolves. I'm thinking of like an average. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just saying like what people perceive as a wolf. I don't know what the fuck they're thinking of. Why I say something like that? It's not as crazy.

They're thinking of an emu or a wolf is. They're thinking game of stones, dire wolves. I can probably fuck up three coyotes. You know, what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. I once like, I, fucking coyotes were kind of coming close to me, and I'm like, oh, I could fuck those things up. Do you think you can fuck up a cassowary? I don't even know. The dinosaurs?

No, hell no. It's not a fucking dinosaur. What is that? They look like, they look like dinosaurs. Wait, say it again? What is it? A cassowari. I don't know what that cat-sau-sauri. They're like big birds. I don't think you could. Maybe you could probably kill it. Oh, they're like, they're kind of like the whole emu type thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll see how big is it 5, 5, almost 6 feet Yeah, I think you could kill it But I think it just wouldn't be smart to fight it I'm gonna be wrong with you I'm gonna throw the legs on something that scares me Look I'm gonna tell you something this thing will kill This thing is I'm not lasting a moment in time with this thing

Because they have like raptor feet Yeah they have they have talons Birds in general have dinosaur feet Yeah but these ones in particular like They like skewer things for fun They don't even do it for like reasons Like they're just like harassing They're serial herat.

They're like wasps. So like really aggressive. Okay. So these are like, yeah, prehistoric fucking aggressive birds. They literally, they're literally assholes, dude. They're in, they're in Far Cry 3, and they're the hardest animal by far. Like, by a. And you have guns.

Yeah. Guns in that game. And they're still annoying. Like, oh, man, they got some caswallaries coming. Do you guys know about the Emu War in Australia? That's real. That shit's fucking dope. If you got, like, just, uh, if, if listeners,

if we don't know about this, look up the emu war and they lost. Let's just put it that way. Fucking emu. It's fantastic. The idea of losing a war to emus is hilarious. We can't beat them. We got to fall back.

We got to fall back. You can't beat the emus. Did you see that interview that Kevin Feigey gave recently where he was talking about how the nostalgia critic inspired the MCU and I'm not even fucking kidding? Wait, what? Did you read that? Did you read that article? No.

because like there was like because on the early internet like early channel awesome like 2005 2006 2007 they had all these like um what is it like the internet was like all those channels were like collaborating and they had these like shared universe thing going on and like it was sincerely like an inspiration point to to connect the MCU like actually he brings it up he brings it up it's not like a huge focus of it but he mentions it And I'm just like, what the fuck is that? That is crazy. That's interesting.

That is insane. It's pretty crazy how that's what they did. Is he like, hey, can have some money? Without the nostalgia critic, we would not have end game. That's fucking disgusting. The nostalgia critics like, hey, can I have some money? I have these really cool ad ideas. Yeah.

And they're just like, no. No. Like, we still did everything. So get away from me. Your ads go on too long. And he's like, I know, but trust me, please. This ad will be really funny. 14 minutes in

Kevin Faggy Let's finish reading these things We're end in the episode We ought to finish this We're at the end We come on Just keep reading Quick

Oh I forgot Oh I forgot that we were I forgot that we were doing that I ran over my PTO By getting COVID Instead of my 2000 Silverado My only said to his race

Pre-Raz Blake 896 Ashlet Formerly known as Cross-Eid Transgirl Nice Fucking kill me Mortal of Peace Sweeney should cosplay as chef from South Park.

I was born three days after Ted Bundy was executed. So maybe I'm his reincarnation. I'll be turning 34 on the 27th. Congratulations. Damn, that's lore. I don't think... If reincarnation is real, I don't know if it...

I don't know if it works temporally in that sense. That's crazy. Athletic short-haired tomboys are the superior race of women. It's your opinion I've seen some short haircuts They're not bad I wouldn't I wouldn't put them on

I wouldn't put them on the low end for sure La Pooh-Poopee There's worse you know I'm sorry Do you want to interject I'm sorry Do you want to have a conversation about the name that I just read or do you want me to get on with it

Hmm Get on with it Yeah Alright that's what I thought Go on La Poopee with translates roughly to English as the poopie, blocked by Steve Shives,

Alaska No, I feel trash. She sells seashells by the seashore, and he sells seashells on the seafloor. Sue Hulk. Danny DeVito, fuck Matt Walsh to death. It was consensual. The gout lock. Nicky Ziggy, the coal train,

using Maria's severed head as a thrash ball in a pithy as the induced hallucination. Holy shit. Can I just say I really appreciate the fact that Gears of War has become like very, very integral to this, yes, to the referential nature of the show. Uh, can't agree more. Uh, libotomized Jesus. He's dead.

Whoa. When he was soliciting in three. That's so funny. Oh my God. He starts bugging out after he just kicked Maria's head. I was like, I was like, I was like, Markis. I, I don't know what to do, man. I don't know what to do.

Oh, guys. After he fucking binks her head off. Lobotomize Jesus, much like Jeffrey Epstein, loves all the little children. I don't know what that is. I've never seen that. I can't read that. There's no words on it. I like to chew on Jolly Ranchers.

Jackson DuPont, badly brave. Huggard Derek now has a bachelor's degree. Aetherian, Chris Gate, My Pagirian, hunting ass. Playing D&D with the wrong group is like starting HALO with Launch Day MasterCheed collection. Oof, it is. And as always, man, rounding out our list. I think probably the longest consecutive King of Hab Hazard

The one chosen by us to be the king, bro All right, man Where we It's a long one So Anything we want to say Anything we want to close it out with? I don't know

I'm Yeah, slob of my knob Oh geez Oh Oh It's me Oh I'm sorry

It's me I'm Logan Paul's pig. I'm Logan Paul's pig. Oh, that feels so good. Oh. Myelda, Morty. Oh, Logan. Oh, Logan.

Oh. Oh, boy, going, oink, oh.