The Snark Tank - #147: SNEAKO MODE

Episode Date: March 20, 2023

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Hey, look. You can only see the people that bookmarked and other people can't see it. Well, you can see how many... You can see how many... It's like a stamp. Your tweet has been... bookmark, but you can't see who has done it. No, no,

no. It's like, it's not good enough. It works the same way as likes. Yeah, basically. Well, I can see who likes my shit. Sorry, views is what I meant to say. Okay, okay. So that's kind of the where they're going to me. Yeah, it is kind of boring. The only purpose

that serves is just to feel unnerved. What other purpose could that serve? I don't know. It's not even unnerving. It's just such a weird stat. Like, the first thing I thought, the first thing I thought when I saw this feature is like, I'm going to go and find shirtless pictures of me that I know I've posted. And of course, of course, it's like 25 to 50 bookmarks on each of that we compared to like normal. Oh, God, I should check my four.

That's, I just posted like my thighs the other day. Check the bookmarks. It's probably like 70. Do you click on it and then and then it'll just show like, uh, it'll be under the stats along with, uh, The stats like when you do like, oh, like it's six, like it'll show like the retweets, the cool tweets, the likes, and then the, and then how many? Oh, do I need to update my app? Because I'm not seeing you.

You might have to. I just got it today. Like, it just, like, updated. I, it doesn't show it on the computer. It shows on the phone, I guess. Yeah, it's a mobile app thing. Gotcha. I turn off my automatic update.

So my, I update my shit like three, four months at a time. And I usually update it when it, when it starts crashing. That's when I'm like, oh, yeah, I have an update. it because I always they put new versions of shit and then and then sometimes it makes it more buggy and fucked up of certain things and

I have some old it should I feel like I practical that's how that's how Adobe runs I'm pretty sure they just like I get it I understand I'm just too like lazy to even bother going into the settings to shut that shit off

I'm just like whatever it's my phone I don't care enough I don't do anything important enough on my phone to go ahead and disable that feature but like Adobe is absolutely off. Like you are not, you are not automatically updating my premiere. Fuck you. Get the hell out of it.

Yeah, it's really annoying. It's weird because this whole bookmarking thing, right? Like, there's a bunch of pictures where like, and I'm like, that I'm like,

that have way more bookmarks than likes. Oh yeah, 100% because, no, 100%. Like, so far, because like we,

we're friends with a lot of, obviously, models. Obviously, like only fans or like, or like, cosplay people. people and it's so funny because some of them will have way more bookmarks that likes because

very clearly people are not liking those people are like oh well I don't want anybody to see that I like them but uh I want to have them though like I want to have any stability I feel like that's a feature really kills people's uh because perception is reality if something doesn't get a lot of likes then people automatically just have that feeling of like, oh, it must not be that good or this, people kind of, it feels, they, they feel discouraged to also like said piece of media. One thing that you can do, and this is approval people have done experiments, is that you set up a few sock accounts or whatever, and you just give your tweet, for example, a few likes and a couple of retweets, which gives people automatically

the, because there's a lot of times, like, I don't want to be the first one to retweet this. I don't want to be the first one to like this. There's like a weird psychological. thing that people do. And so what I'm saying is the fact that like say these ladies, I like the post very revealing shit, and there's a lot of people that don't want to, people to know that they're liking it. They refrain from liking it and then it kind of

causes it to not be boosted as much as it could be. Yeah. Because it's just one of those things that, um, it's not a real problem per se, but at the same time. And, and let's be real. Niga, I want to like some shit and not I want to support some of my friends by shooting them alike, and I'm like, I appreciate this.

But then you can't because then people start just reading into that shit. Yeah. Like, I mean. Oh, why did you? Yeah, because everybody minds. Everybody's business now. Have you ever been tagged before for that shit where someone's like, oh, look who like this.

Has there happened to before? Oh, yeah, of course. When, when, when, when, uh, when, when, uh, when, when, uh, when, when, when, uh, when, when, uh, when, when, uh, I made a secondary only fans. And I was, or I made a, I made a, uh, a Twitter account for my only fans. I was like, oh, okay, cool.

I know Anisa. It's, the way that I was thinking about it was like, oh, it's a second, it's like a secondary account in case like the main account gets fucked up or whatever. It's like, it might as well have it in my fucking, you know. And everybody was like, he's following. He's following. He's following. He's following.

There's something going on. It's like, God damn it, you people. It's a public account, man. One of our friends, Bree posted a picture, right? Well, hold on. Before, before you go on, Derek knows this better than anybody. Dude, your Twitter account is just the way that you can communicate with people. And so, like, like, when he got his fucking account, when he got his account fucking nuked,

he lost a lot of important context. And so the way out, like, if you have the option to follow, like, five separate accounts that belong to the same person, you might as well. Because, like, chances are, it's possible some of those get nuked for no reason. Or, like, there's, dude, I was, like, the last month, I was in, like, Twitter jail for something that I don't even remember what the fuck why. And so I was like And I didn't have any other account

All I had was the podcast accounts And I was like God damn it I can't do anything It sucks For me For me like literally One of our friends Bree She posted something

And it was a nice picture of hers She does post Some content that You know Person that's me in a relationship I stay away from that Yeah big Labia is like

Flapin in the wind And I'm just like I'm not gonna do this I'm not I'm just not gonna set myself To get yelled at for a fucking three hours for no reason. Yeah, there's no point. It's not.

I liked one of her pictures because it was a simple picture. It was a very simple question about something nerdy. And I was like, and I said something. And they sent it to Lily. Gotcha. Gotcha, bitch. And I was like, what kind of rat, rat bastard

are you? Just scum of the earth, bro. The funniest thing about it is like, it's clearly like it's a public interaction. So it's not, you're not hiding it. Exactly. It's such a bizarre. It's,

I don't know. The person knows my girlfriend. They're friends. I do think it's funny though. I do think it's funny though the idea that like people are going around probably like definitely bookmarking this stuff because like I have only ever used Twitter bookmarks for like literal like, oh, I have to I have to keep track of this story for the recap. And like now that I, and I didn't even really think about this necessarily until I saw my like shirtless pictures with like 50 bookmarks. God damn. Just shoot it a like.

It's fine. It's okay. I know most of you are guys. It's fine. I'm not threatened by it. That's cool. I actually appreciate it. I had to dispunge some shit when I came out.

Because I know the next wave. I had to, there's this shit that I'm not ready to explain, you know? Yeah. There's just shit. I'm just like, I can't explain why this is on here. Do you think?

It's not even like, it's not even like, women salates but is this like images that if you find that I bookmark this I'm like I can't explain to you why I bookmark this

because it's gonna be weirder than what you think yeah it's it's like it's like uh it's like it's like bell delphine but uh her asshole is Mario's photo realistic asshole

when he's like Ben you know that image yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like I swear to you it's just funny I mean it's funny it's hilarious But, yeah, I don't know. That's the reason why I have it. Do you think Sneko bookmarked, uh, do you think Sneaker bookmarked his orgy?

Like, like in his mind so he could like kind of like, oh, man, I got to just so I can remember this. I, I. When he was just sitting in a chair in that, in that awkward chair on the side of the, in the side of the hotel staring at people, ream in his girlfriend for hours on end and then shyly walking away. Shout out to Sneako for letting his wife get tossed. right in front of him, bro. Shout out to him, bro. Shout out to Sinko.

In arms, was it more than once? Was it more than once or was it? Because I feel like I heard it was more than once. Well, you know what, Derek? I'm going to go ahead and say, it might as well have been. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, might as well. But, dude, like, it doesn't, like, can you imagine trying to be like, no, guys, it was only once? Like, no, man, that doesn't help. That doesn't make it, like, that's just the same. That's just how you're doing that.

And also, how are you doing that? are you like a like a like an like how do you have the image of an alpha I don't it is the absolute there is there is no bigger paradox there is no bigger oxymoron then there is there is nothing that it I just can't even when I look at this guy and when he says that when he told that story because I didn't know that much about Sneco no I actually do have a I have a video that there's a crater fuck uh uh his name is uh willie mack i was about to call him penis mac but yeah he made a i think a 40 minute video and i have it um bookmarked i have i have i have it

i want to watch it later i want to watch it later so i can actually learn about this guy like really learn about him because i only know this and then he's like uh what is it he's like what would you call lesser than andrew tate light he's like a mannesphere he's like a mannisfere type guy where it's like a, not a pickup artist exactly, but it's like adjacent, you know, like, it's just sort of like, get your life together, uh, fucking be, uh, throw your woman down the stairs every once in a while. Like, he's like, he's on, he's on, he's on the tape brigade. He's a, like, I, call them Tate lights. Yeah, I'm saying he's lesser than light. What would be like a version that is, like he is like gluten free? Like he's not even light version. Like he's one of the Tater Tots. He's

one of the Tater Tate. He's gluten free Tate. That's good. He's a gluten-free tater-tot. And he's one of the tater-tots. And I don't know, man, it's the, I don't know how you tell that story. I don't know how you let yourself tell that story. I couldn't. If I had ever been through anything like that, no way. No way would I just sit there on a podcast.

His friends are even like, you didn't, you didn't just sit there, though. He's like, no, yeah, I sat there. It's like, what the fuck, bro? That's real. That's real shit. You guys. Dude, I don't know if I would tell, like, I don't, I can't even imagine that scenario, but I can't, I can't imagine that I would even tell my therapist or something. You know what I mean?

Yeah. That's something that I would probably die with if that happened. And the idea that, like, this dude has the confidence that got there and be like, yeah, I did that. Also, fucking take my advice. Like, is crazy. And he hasn't, an audience, like, there's people that probably listen to him to, which is an. You know what, it's just as, I guess I can't be too surprised because I was just looking at some statistics about, you know, that Dominion lawsuit that came out recently. And basically there was a lot of Fox News pundits that have been trashed, you know, the Dominion voting machines and saying, oh, blah, blah, blah, shit's rigged and just talking about this good shit.

So these text messages came out that obviously they don't believe that the election was stolen, they hate Trump, like Tucker Carlson hates Trump and all this. And what I'm getting at is polls were conducted for Fox News viewers to say, do you still trust Fox News and only 9% said, uh, uh, yeah, uh, nah,

not really. And then the vast majority of people are still watching. Even though like what, and then, um, like it was like overwhelming like 50% people still think the election's stolen. My point being, even with that information and that shit dropped in your fucking lap.

Oh yeah. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. So like, and sneko being the biggest like finally we can use the cuck in the way that it's supposed to be used yeah finally he's really it

he got cucked bro look at how jovial i look saying about him he got cut dude that's yeah because it's finally because it's finally accurate that word's been so fucking mangled and it's like i'm it's like finally it's like okay finally we have in a situation

because that was like the whole i devs thing right because like anise did only fans or whatever it's Like, oh, you got cuck. Oh, right. How? People are paying for, like, do you not understand how any of this? I don't, I really couldn't figure that out for the longest time. But here, this is like a real.

People say words. People say words. Yeah, they hear. Yeah, they hear words. You hear, you're like, oh, you hear like, oh, you hear like cuck. You're like, oh, these guys are the insult. You don't know what that means, bro. It's just a funny-sounding word.

If anything, everyone else is, he isn't paying for anything. He's not the cuck in that situation. You guys fund. He guys fund his ability to, like, do whatever he wants. Like, it's, I don't know, man. It's weird. But this, but this sneak-o shit. I want that, bro.

Yeah. But this sneak-o shit is, like, it's so funny because he is one of these, like, Tate guys who, like, he's like, oh, men need to be this way. And it's like, bro, you can't be given advice. You can't be given that advice. Are you kidding me? Did you see Critical Dog him, bro? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Critical went up because he's talking about, like, because I, I can't remember what the situation was, but I think, like, because, uh, because, because, because,

Sniko just constantly like shouts slurs. Like he couldn't actually like talk. Critical couldn't talk to him on stream so they had to communicate through Twitch clips. And Sneiko was like, look at my clips. Look at my clips. And he's holding up these two mags from his guns, not knowing that they're fucking mad. They're mags. They're not clips.

Guns don't really use clips anymore. Dude, even I know, even I know the difference between a clip and a mag. And I'm not really a gun person. That's like very bizarre. Yeah. I feel like some people, they, some people still even know, I feel like they even know the difference. but they just can't escape using the word clip because it's so associated with just like...

Clip sounds better. Clip does sound better. Like, it's even like in most hip hop I listen to if they do talk about guns. And I feel like a lot of these motherfuckers are connoisseurs of guns. And then it's just like... I mean, I just did a cover of that Billy I just song. Like two pistols, you know, 30s in the clip. These are Kimbo's.

Like, nigga, you know they're not clips, but it just, you can't say... I guess Mag just doesn't sound cool, I guess? Yeah, Mag sounds cool, but not as. cool as clip. I guess. Because you could ride clip with his met,

but let me be perfectly honest. I firmly believe Sneko doesn't know the difference. Oh yeah. No way. No way now. Yeah. No, man.

What gets me is he could have... The only thing he knows is the fact that his wife got tossed in front of him. He doesn't know anything else. His brain is probably still there. He's so stuck in. He probably goes to bed and wakes up at that moment again. He's done.

That man is... He admitted it. on the internet, bro. That is insane. He, no one held him down. No one forced him to admit that. He wasn't getting blackmailed. And he admitted that he watched his wife get tagged peamed by some other characters.

Yeah, it wasn't even like, that is a nightmare. It wasn't even like a situation where he had to come. It wasn't even like a situation where like a private matter became public and he had to like, he had to just be up front about shit. Like he just threw that out there for no fucking reason. It was just very. very bizarre. Like I just let you know,

I just lets you know how traumatic it was, dude. Like, yeah, he was on autopilot. Like, it's like he just sat there and like, I have to release this. I have to get out.

It's eating be alive inside. And I can't, I can't look at myself in the mirror. I can't sleep. Every time I cry, it's dust. I have to tell someone. And he just,

he loses consciousness for like five minutes, while his subconscious tells this story. out of live podcast and he comes to and he goes what did I say? What? What a wild fucking story. That was such a good.

It's great. But the thing is like people are like dogging on him and then he's like acting like he's being canceled. It's like you're not being canceled. I mean, you suck. No. But you're not being canceled. You're being made fun of.

You're being made fun of because you have like no self-respect. Everyone's trying to come on your wife now. That's another angle that I forgot about. It was the reason. he kept sharing that collage like oh these are what the dudes look like and it's like random white people that are being critical of him

like one of them was Hassan one of them was Hunter Avalon if you remember that guy and then a bunch of other streamers I didn't really recognize but it was like a collage and he's like this is what they look like essentially accusing them of being soy boys

and like first of all Hassan's like 6-4 and giant like that's just silly even Charlie even even Even Charlie's pretty fucking, like, built. I've seen pictures of Charlie. And he's like, that's no joke, man. Like, he's built.

Yeah, he doesn't seem like a pushover. No, he doesn't seem like a pushover at all. Also, Charlie has machine guns. Yeah, he'll. He's taking out artillery. And I was like, yo, he has guns. Sneaker, you have two pistols. He has a rifle.

He has an assault weapon. Well, he's in Florida. In Florida. They give that to you when you enter the state. Yeah, they cross the border. Let's go. We're going to get an assault weapon. one in the next month.

I'm excited. They're in the vending machines when you go there. No, a fucking alligator hands you one. You fucking, you stop at the border, they check you. You know,

like, like as if it's like, you ever, like Mexico and shit. It's like one of those deals. Because they, you know, they love their borders and shit over there in Florida.

Stop you. And a fucking alligator comes out of the swamp and hands you a collisionikoff. And then it just walks away. I, That's an old gun. That's not a modern gun. That's a past tense weapon.

That's somebody handy. That's like you go into fucking England and out of the tree a squirrel gives you a swain handler. And it's like, here you go. You're like, what? It's like, take this. How is the squirrel going to? The swineering is German.

But how I would love to see a squirrel handle one. Dude, I would love to see an alligator handle one. What are you talking about? Yeah, yeah. Like, I can't stand those animals, man. They look like the fact that, like, it's like somebody put a dragon in a waffle press or something. It's like something is really off-putting about. They're just such flat lizards.

It's weird. But you always the crazy thing. They've been that way for millions of years. Yeah, at least five decades. At least. At least. At least five decades. They've been like that.

They've just looked like that. They've just looked like that for a long time. It's shrunk. That is disgusting. That is this hardening. Do you think that's something that's like, yeah, this fits its niche so well. We don't got to change much about it. After ice ages and fucking cladicalisms, we just keep it the same way.

We've had like three extinction events since there existed. They just looked like that at the end of each time. Nica, they just chilling at the bottom of swamps and then they just eat every dead carcass and they just survive. I bet. Easy money. Easy. What you're saying, Chris, you're going to ask question? No, I don't remember what I was saying.

I just wanted to I just wanted to wrap it back into Sneako Sneakle mode You should make a sneako mode I actually That was that did pop up my head It would be very easy

And it would probably do extremely well Oh yeah Very easily All right Let's see Yeah let's see Is it he's because he's one of those By the way

every time he tweets about that collage, the collage gets bigger. I don't know if you saw that. Like, there's more and more people just, like, make fun of them. Like, because of course,

like, why would you not? I want him to tag me on it. I want to, like, and I'm gonna send him, like, a picture of me flexing

as hard as I can to or, like, I, you know, tear my muscles and shit. Yeah, we should, we should title,

we should title this episode, uh, in defense of Sneiko. So he thinks we defend him and then, like, and then he clicks on it. And then he walks it and get sad.

I love it. That's so fucking funny. I feel bad, but also at the same time, I'm just like, you didn't have to tell anybody about this, brother. Why do you feel bad bad for, why? I feel bad only because of the fact that there's this guy who had to watch his wife get fucked in front of him. I didn't have to do it.

No, no, no, no, no. No matter how that comes the part, I feel bad that someone would have to do that. Well, that's his wife or was that would transpired. anybody was who was it who was it was it was it was it his girlfriend or his girlfriend if it's his wife then that's really bad that was his girlfriend there's no way this guy's married married he's got to be like 22 or something sure right he can't yeah yeah he's not married let's look at this old sneaker is he's probably like oh no man and then and then even the name

sneako how could you take anyone like that seriously it's because he's sneaking it's sneaking off into the corner to watch is what i'm saying yeah he's 24 man he's a fucking baby still. He's great. He's getting off the corner to watch. I'm fucking dead. You know what the sad thing is? You know the sad thing is too?

It's like any future relationship this guy has, everyone's going to be looking at him and his girl like they're going to be like they're going to be, I mean, the thought's going to cross your mind. If you see these people, like if we see these people at like an industry party or something,

like why am I not going to feel like I can just go talk to her? You know what I mean? Like what's really like? What's really, like, what's really the problem? I feel like that's your obligation. Shoot him a nod. What's going on, man. You just got to do it.

What's going to? You go up to her and you go like this. Hey, yo, what's going on? Is that your brother? That's the first thing you say. You just immediately just separate them. And is that your brother right there? Boom.

And then she laughs. Is that your brother right there? Don't answer that. Let's, you know what I love to? It's like, I saw this picture of like, you know how you go into a hotel? there's that one chair. It's like, somebody was like, hey, look, this by hotel's got a sneako chair.

That's a sneako chair. It's so sad. It's so sad. What a fucking, look, I will say, God damn, man, damn. Yeah, man, just don't. Look, man, I'm not here to, look, well, I, eh, eh, I don't know.

I was going to say I'm not here to king shame, but we absolutely are. So like, we'll see No, no, no, no, no. I'm bringing it back. I'm bringing it back. We got a king's shame, all right? At a certain point, at a certain point,

it is just you should just keep your business yourself. I'm sick of everybody. I agree. I agree. Everybody going out there and saying all this wild shit that I have to hear. That's fine. That is fine. I don't tell anybody have to shit I do because it's no one's business.

I'll build off of that and, and say, I know too much about all of you. You know, like, I know too much. I don't need to know. I don't need to know what, you know, what gets you hard. I don't need to know what gets you off. I don't need to know, like, what you bookmark, what order, like, who you follow. Like, oh, this girl does it for me on Wednesday specifically.

Like, I can't. I can't. I don't need to know, like, about the puppy play, about the weird, the weird masks, about the costumes, the capes, the fucking larping. I don't need it. I don't need to know any about this. We should go back to keeping it at least a little bit to ourselves. A joke here and there is fine. But I will say this is more of a sneak of shaming thing

Because like the hypocrisy of it is what makes it so funny Because listen like if I gotta be real I cannot fathom this at all but if this is your type of thing Like you know you do you but also to do to be that person And like let this happen And then also be on the internet telling people Telling men specifically how they're supposed to act And like telling women how they're supposed to act

Meanwhile you're off doing this shit You're sneaking off I don't know, bro Like, that's just, that's hilarious That's objectively funny And there's nothing Anybody could say to change that That is just truly awesome

Let's be a little bit clear I just want to be a little clear about Why it's not making fun Why it's technically not king shaming It's because And what makes it much funnier Is that he did not enjoy He clearly did not want

Oh yeah, it's not even a yeah Like it's not like he was there And he's like this is hot And he just got exposed That oh This guy's a cuff and he loves it. You know, because that's funny too,

but it's not nearly as funny as this dude being traumatized by it. And just not asking his girlfriend to not do it or whatever or leaving if she's like, nah, I'm into this shit and staying. I'd be like, fuck you, I'm out. We're done kind of a shit.

You know what I'm saying? There's so many scenarios. Anything but what he did was the right answer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is awesome. That is so funny. He was talking about how like I was sick to my stomach, but I just, you know, I just, it's like, bro, you couldn't, Batman couldn't get that out of me. Batman couldn't get that.

I could have my toenails individually tied to a Hummer that is about to drive away. And you could not get that information out of me if you fucking tried. That's some shit. I would never say to it. Batman driving his fucking taller. I would die with that information. I would die with that information too. Roger Cogoldry.

Nothing. Nothing. I would look him in the face and I would say Martha. I wouldn't do. I would never. I would never reveal that. I would even reveal I had dreams about stuff like that. Everything, everything in that scenario is just bizarre.

I did I ever tell you about the guys that? Like, I was approached at a bar once to do something like this? Did I ever tell you the guys this? Nice. And you pushed out. I absolutely did not. Yeah, I was like, no way. Because something about it felt like you're going to kill me.

Like, while I'm... You know what I mean? Like, that's what I thought. It was like... In a way... No fucking way am I going to sit there. Have sex with some random guy's wife who I don't know. And then just like while the other guy's just like watching from like this dark area that I can't see.

I got to take my glasses off. My perception's not going to be that great. You're going to be able to sneak up to me and bash me over the head with a fucking cast iron pot. I don't know what the hell is going on. I don't know you people. What if that's your... What if that's your kink? Getting people to like, fuck your wife and then kill...

and then kill the guy. Like, I'm not doing this. Get the fuck out of here. That's smart, dude. Yeah, yeah. I don't need this. I don't need this excitement. People are too bored.

You missed out on a great friendship. That's okay. I can't respect that. I'm sorry. Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm not in a friendship. Oh, what am I going to do?

I mean, it could have been your best friend. You're fucking your, your best man at your future wedding and all this shit. And she's the best, uh, uh, rides made. I was going to say something. Yeah, yeah. I just stopped myself from, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that would have been nice to say.

I was going to say something much worse. So, but yeah, the, the best bitch. And you missed out. Yeah, man. I remember when I first met Chris, he was fucking long-stroke in my wife. Wild experience, was it not? That is so fucking long-stroken. I could not.

How could you start a friendship that way? He was giggling at. Right after, right after. And after he bust a fucking hot wad on my wife. We went. We got fucking. And we got some, I don't know, quiz nose. We got some quiz nose.

And we really talked about it after having him fucking hogwash my wife with his come. Like what the fuck? Like, no way. Like, there's no way. You know, is that those are real. There's definitely at least one person who's like, like, man, you've known each other for how for 15 years? How did you guys meet? Well, it's actually a funny story.

Yeah. Like, and that's the story. Like, absolutely. That's definitely real. I don't need that. I've got enough friends as is. I barely, I barely, I feel bad sometimes because I meet new people and they're like really cool, but I already am like, listen, like the positions are filled. Like I don't, I don't have the bandwidth of the time to manage any more of these.

I don't need new friends, man. Yeah, it's too much. Who do you consider, who's like a hero or slash mentor of yours? Oh, man. If Keith David wanted to be friends with us, if Keith David wanted to be friends with me, I would, I would. David wants to cuck hold. He wants you to cuck his wife. No, you don't do it.

No way, I could not disrespect him that way. No way, I couldn't do it. No, you're disrespecting him by turning him down because he's into it. That's fine. This is, this is almost like a religious thing at this point. You can't do that. You can't do that. You know how Ben Shapiro won't go to Dave Rubin's anniversary parties?

Gay wedding or whatever? That's what it is. It's like, you know, listen, I respect you, but like with all due respect, with all respect. You fucking religiously. You keep David bigot. Religiously. Even if Keith David's wife was

knee along, the woman I, I, I, do, I'm in a factuated with her. I would not do that because that is Keith David's wife. I would absolutely sleep with,

I would absolutely sleep with Dave Franco's wife. Absolutely. And I would have no point. I'm trying to get a pregnant too. Yeah. I'm trying to get a pregnant too to ruin or just a make things worse. Oh, a million percent.

I'm getting some of that, I'm getting some of that community money. I grew up. All right. So. Okay, okay. Let's just be so fucked up. All this is so fucked up.

Fucking luger up, man. I'd fucking, I'd make that, I'd ruin that bio. You would seriously ruin your, a chance, a relationship with Keith David. Derek, would you have Keith David's wife? That's, first of all, that's so disrespectful. Look, it's, to me, it is. And let's, let's put, so we have the craft this a little bit further. Okay.

I am not married in this scenario. Okay. Okay. They say, yes, we are all not. That's a good save. That's a good save. But let me just, let me just paint the picture this way. You say, to you, it's disrespectful, right?

But to him it's not. No. But like, correct, correct. Imagine somebody, imagine you're, for some reason you're looking through a where's Waldo book, right? And you see, oh, look, there's Waldo. And then somebody goes, all right, now look at it again, but like, don't pretend like you don't see him. You can't do that because you know where Waldo is. Your eyes are almost going to be directly like you're going to see Waldo every time because you know now.

That's what it is. There is. You know, like regardless of what he feels, you know in your heart that it's disrespectful. And there's nothing, there's really nothing that's going to change that. You will see Waldo when you turn that page. Nice, nice private, Chris. Keep stroking her. That's good.

That's, that's, I can't. I can't do it. I would pass up the opportunity. I would pass up the opportunity. Because first of all, a relationship with Keith David is already scary enough. Like, I need to be as separated as possible because it's one of those situations where it's like, okay, now that I have it, I can fuck it up. Right now, I can't fuck it up because I don't know. It's like I'm actually in the best position possible.

This is the worst possible scenario to be inducted into the friendship of Keith David. Okay, so what would be worse, him asking you to cuck his wife or he wants you to fuck him? that's way better I'd rather way I would way I would absolutely absolute

a million percent because that feels like I'd fuck you David yeah because generally and that's you fuck no you are giving it to him

he's not fucking yeah I know I'm very just being clear no one's fucking me ever time time I time on time on time out in this and ever

I'm not letting anyone fuck me never say never dude I'm not I'm not in my state of mind right now I'm not letting anybody fuck me. All right? This current me right now. That's fair. That's fair. That's fair. But if some

dude was just like, hey, would you mind fucking me for like $100? I'm like, yeah, I got you, bro. And I'd toss him. That I'd be like, Lily, it's, it's, I had not, I had gay sex for $100. It's $100. It's not a guy. I feel offended when an average, uh, uh, so, uh, Ridge wallet. He's never coming on this show, by the way. Yeah, it's too late. He's over. This is the final straw. This was the final straw.

Keith David will not hear this. Yes, sure. You think our fans have things to do. They don't get it to him. They'll be fucking psychos. He won't, even if they send it, he won't check it. He's just, he's too busy. He's always working.

We're okay. We can still save face, and there's still chance to have a sexual relationship. Listen, listen. We love you. We love you. if you're listening to this, I'm so sorry. We do... We really do love you.

We, like, unironically, but I... Revereered. And I would never disrespect you in this way. Oh, hell no. Unless you ask me to. If you asked me to, then why... If you ask me... Why would not?

Sweetie. Sweetie, pull out your pants. Put on your pants right now. It was like, to stop the covenant, we need you to fuck me. I'd be like... Jackpot. And I'd go in there and I'd toss them up, bro. I would take that.

I'd, yes, sir, Arbiter. I feel like I'd probably take my chance. Yes, Falconon. I'll fuck you. I'll fight a grunt. I'll fight a grunt. Exactly. Easy.

Oh, man. I love that. I love that so much. Okay, okay. Here's a bet. Here's a last scenario. Last scenario. Okay.

All right. So, keep David walks up to you and he asked you, hey, I really like your stuff. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to come in my hotel room and I want you to invite Sneko and we will

You have that cucked Schneco with Keith David That is insane You guys got to work together to cuck him I thought you were going to say something like shit on my dog Or something like something really bizarre I wanted to get Sneakle back I want to get Sneakle back in there and be like We're going to we got

We gotta fuck Sneakle's girl We got to fuck we got to We got to fuck Cigle's girl And then we got to I would I would I think I would double team You would double team Sneakle's girl would keep David

Absolutely I didn't know who she is Just her Just her to her disheal You would basically do everything But fuck his wife It's not even about It's not even about

This hypothetical person It's not even about this hypothetical woman It's really about Sneco It's about the fact that this Absolutely Because we now know it's just He's not gonna do anything Because here's the thing

If you're uncomfortable with something Generally speaking Like especially in an environment like this Like I feel like there's going to be some part of you. That's going to be like, hey, you'd panic. You'd panic and you'd freak out. You'd at least do something to like stop this from happening.

Right. And so to me it's like, yeah, well, I mean. And they clear. So you, Keith David asked you to invite Sneakow and he wants, he wants, he wants, he wants, easily the most disrespectful podcast we've ever. We've done a while. So you invite Sneakow over. I can't even finish it.

Look, we apologize to anybody who, we apologize to anybody involved in this who isn't Sneiko, basically. Yeah, exactly that. Yeah, even think the girls. I'm not apologize to anyone. I don't feel bad, all right? Do we even know that Keith David is actually currently married right now? Keith David's married.

He's absolutely married. I'm assuming he is. It's just, well, because sometimes people get. Nobody like that. No, that voice is too. It'd be impossible. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It would be absolutely fucking... We're not a stupid bitch. We're not a stupid bitch would leave Keith Dave. Let me put it this way. What kind of stupid bitch would leave you? What kind of dumb bitch? Let me put it this way. Let me put it this way.

Keith David's voice implies that he's married. In the same way that... In the same way that Michael Sarah's voice implies the opposite. Yeah. I don't know. Michael Sarah listens to Snecoeco. I'm not as confident in that as many people would be. want to hear Michael Sarah scream at

somebody and then fall asleep in a middle of doing it. You, fuck, fuck you, fuck you fucking bitch. He dies in the middle of screaming. Oh, Michael Sarah is married. Look at that. Congratulations, bud. Oh, what the hell? Oh, wait, no.

There's a guy named David Keith that looks like Beavis. What the hell? There's a guy because, like, so it popped because, you know, I typed in Keith David's wife and wife looks very lovely. He looks like Beavis. What are you talking about? talking about. I mean,

look at this guy. That's just some guy. It looks like Conan O'Brien with with prosthetic makeup. It does, it doesn't, his name is David Keith. Yeah, his name is David Keith.

I've definitely seen this guy before. He's definitely seen the chin like butthead. He looks like Tarantino a little bit. He looks like Tarantino and, and, he's a hybrid of everything. He looks like if Tarantino was handsome Squidward. He looks like if Tarantino and Conan Fused.

Yeah, actually, you're totally right. That's that totally. I can see that. I've definitely seen, I've definitely seen this actor before. David Keith David Keith

That sounds so wrong My name's David Keith Oh he was Oh he was Daredevil's dad In the original Daredevil movie Oh really? Oh what he's like Oh son you're blind

And he like poured like Yeah Yeah Yeah Hawaii 5 oh Yeah this dude's like in a bunch of shit That I'm sure I've seen But like I wouldn't

He's an Indian in the cupboard Or Native American in the cupboard now Is they really Stupid? No it's not It's not called that. Can you imagine? You know what's what?

I can absolutely imagine that. Native American. Native American in the cover. Native American in the cover? Native American. Do you guys remember when, so, the Washington Redskins, right, they had to change the name eventually? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there was people putting out suggestions, like, real suggestions.

And, like, like, I was so happy because you knew the degenerates of the internet were going to come together. and like there was this very popular trending names like obviously think about this when you think about degeneracy degenerate internet people and you're replacing the redskins name what do you think was one of the most popular names that were suggesting three and words no no that's that's no that's a little bit cut that cuts too deep come on think think about it they said in the revenant it's they said in the revenue they called them think think about it just take a a chris an educated guess on what the Washington red dicks wait what are you what are we talking about what are we talking about what are we

talking about sorry I I I believe I lost consciousness completely blacked out I actually did I'm not going over it again all right well my guess is a Native American slur that's all uh uh when to go it's too complicated savages people savages So like, so like basically, okay, so They were gonna call us the Washington Savages? There was people, because there was conversations being had and there was

people, they were inflating, they were inflating the name to give it steam. You know how people do fucked up shit on the internet? It was one of those things. People were trying to inflate to be like, yeah, let's make it seem like it's legitimate. Like, let's call them the Washington from the Redskins to the Savages.

That's crazy. That was so fucking funny. I love that insult, bro. I love reading, like, old books and them calling people that are half Native American half savages. That's shit so funny. Do you guys remember the... That's so funny, dude. Honestly, it's kind of badass, to be honest with you.

But, like, the half savage. Because Savage has, like, kind of a positive connotation, technically. Now it does. Then it just meant you weren't human. Barely even human. Barely even... You guys remember the scene from Indian in the cover where the little boy kicks a hamster down the stairs? Is that real?

I swear to you, this is real. You mean Native in the cupboard? You mean Native in the cupboard? Yes, I do. The movie Native American in the pantry where like the child, the child kicks. There's like a hamster and a ball and he kicks it down the stairs. And I'm pretty sure it's not a fake hamster. Yeah, I guess.

They probably bought like dozens of hamsters, dude. They shot it like 20. times. Yeah, it's like Homeward Bound where they killed all those dogs. That's crazy. I hate that lie. I hate that lie,

because I love Homeward Bounds. That's what are my favorite movie? That's not a lie. What do you mean? It's a lie, dude. Kingston, they absolutely murdered like 50 dogs for that movie. They,

they were Fauci's dogs. Too real. Fouchy dogs. There's all the dogs that Fouchi. We gotta test those fucking dogs, all right? Shit.

We have, we're testing to see whether or not live dogs make good slippers. So we're trying to, we're trying to, uh, we're trying to, Trying to see if bullets hurt live dogs, but they hurt dead dogs.

Boom. Is that real? Was that real, by the way, like the fouchy dogs? I can't remember. Like, because the only people talking about it, because the only people were talking about it was psychos. If I'm not mistaken he wanted to test on them. I mean, we were like, we should test on dogs and cats and shit. It was the same thing as if I didn't look into it because let's just say for the sake of argument, it's true.

The, what is that, what does that do? other than like that sad because animal testing has been prevalent for quite some time That's kind of how I felt about it too where it's like we test all sorts of horrible shit on animals Like I should be testing on apes bro. I'm sorry I don't give a fuck and they do They do fucking fucking test on people too I don't give a shit They do by the way If someone's gonna go to jail for a light sentence Test shit on them

It's levels they test on animals first and then they test on humans after they've proven that it won't kill as many of them Right there's levels to it I do think it's one of those things like, yeah, all this shit is fucked up, but it's not any more fucked up than it's happening to a dog, quite frankly. Like, I get it. Like, we have dogs

and we're like socialized to like dogs and all that. But like, look, man, if I'm in a country and you serve me up a dog, I'd probably eat it. I wouldn't. I don't see, I don't see any real reason not to.

Like, it's just like what you're saying, but I'm just completely programmed to, I don't want it. I don't want it. But if, let's say, if I was starving.

You were at, you were starving. And all you had to eat. easily, right? No, no, no. That's not even a little question. No question. And I can say right now I would try to, I would try to not eat it.

But if I was starving, I'm starving, you know? I would never eat a dog if I had something else to eat. If I was in. David, if I would not eat David. I would not have to start. You're stranded on an island. I eat them. And he's like, I'm not going to make it.

Just make sure my meat doesn't go to waste. Would you, would you eat them? I would eat the brain, but I'd eat him. I guess if he's telling us to eat him, I don't want to just. If you eat brain, you go crazy. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. If you're a human brain, you go crazy.

Well, it's not exactly. Is it human brains? Yeah, you're getting a human brain. I think I remember reading sometimes. It's not going to happen if you eat just a little. Like, you have to, this has to be a long process. It's why cannibalism is insane. But if you eat, I think it's something like if you process brain matter, it does do something really, really fuck.

It fucks with your mind. Yeah, it fucks with you. your chemistry in a way that, in a way that affects your brain later. I don't think it's like literally one to one to one. But, um, like, I don't think if you have like a smidgen of human brain, I don't think you're going to start, like, worshipping Jared Lato or something. What you do is, what you do is you go to a daycare. You get a little head, baby's head, you crack it open.

Eat the brain. Like Christopher Reed. Like an hors d'oeuvre. Um, like you're cracking the egg. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yo, you've seen those fancy niggas eating like birds, like, with, like, with, you know, all the bones in them and shit. Yeah,

do you ever see that? It's like a delicacy, right? The bird, I think it's, it's not, it was about to be hatched, but then they, is it called polteros, something like that or bealtros

something like that. I don't know what it's called. I know there's people listening that probably know the motherfuckers are biting that shit and the bones are like stabbing their mouth and they're like all bleeding and shit. It's the fucking.

That's crazy. Why are these people? I'm not eating nothing that's going to make me bleed. Here. Well, again, I don't know. I mean, if I'm in like, I don't know, if I don't know, Thailand or something or

I don't know where the fuck they eat dogs I remember my dad told me he had a dog burger once by accident Northern China When he was that when he was on Asia Asia yeah he was somewhere in Asia I think it was I think it was Thailand I think actually Like because he was there He was stationed there for something a long long long time ago

And they had to get they got food from a truck And then you know they got it in the middle of the day And he thought nothing of it until like later on the rest of the guys Were like you know that was dog right And he got real sick God damn it But I don't know man Like I feel like it's

I could It's a fucking animal. I'll eat a cat. I'll eat a dog. I'll eat a fucking parrot. I'll eat a fucking rat. I wouldn't even eat a cat. I don't even like cats that much,

and I wouldn't eat a cat. It's just like, like I just, some things, and even if they taste really good, I would eat a horse as well. It's, it's very complicated.

It's very complicated, man. It's very complicated. I think it's complicated. I wouldn't eat, I wouldn't eat my dog. Right. You know? Like,

I don't eat, I don't eat lamb. Even though lamb tastes delicious. I just don't eat lamb. Because I had a lamb once and it got killed. and my family laughed about it. You had a lamb? What are you talking about?

In the Bronx? No, in Jamaica. At a pet lamb, it was my little lamb and they ate it. And I was like, that's fucked up. No. No. Wait, what are you talking about? Hell yeah.

When I went to Jamaica when I was younger, they gave me a lamb. Like, oh, this is your lamb. And I named them woolly, obviously. What do you mean they gave you a lamb? Wait, hold on. Hold on. This is your lamb. Wait, but you went to, you went to,

Jamaica for what purpose? Vacation? Yeah, vacation. It was a summer vacation. So it was a summer vacation where they gave you a lamb. Yeah, like, oh, this is yours. I was, I was, I was feeding it. I was, like, brushing it. I was the one taking care of it. It was mine. Were you planning on bringing a lamb on vacation?

That's what I'm saying. You know, you know, you guys, I don't know if you guys have done. I don't know. No, Kingsen, Kings and, you being a black American, you have nowhere to return to as for happiness. So, Hey, Chris is Puerto Rico, so I don't know if you guys had farms there.

No, I understand that, but like vacate. So you were at a family place. Yeah, I was at the family farm. And it was your land. Okay, so that's different. I thought you went to like a resort and you were gifted a lamb. No, no. No.

They show up at eight months. Here's your lamb. You go, Kingston. Yeah, no, no, no. I mean. You know, I don't know why I do it, but they're not. They're for you, all right? I will say, like, I don't know, man.

Lamb is delicious. Lamb is not that good to be really. That's crazy. I don't give it. I don't know, man. Lamb is delicious. You know what it is? I had three meats that I never had before in a row at this in the same night.

And it was lamb, rabbit, and duck. And I can tell you, like, when I finished the duck, I was like, what the fuck was that bullshit that I wasted my entire time leading up to this? Lamb is good, man. Lamb is good. Rabbit is fine. Rabbit is fine. Rabbit is fine. Lamb and rabbit are fine

I hear rabbits are alright It's not too bad I hear if you want to know what humans tastes like you eat rabbit That's crazy that's fucking unsettling But yeah I don't know it's fine Like rabbit rabbit and lamb are fine I do think you can prepare them in ways

They probably make them better But like duck what's your favorite meat then? Duck What's your favorite meat? Chicken I could bite into a Chicken's pretty I could bite into a live duck

And probably like still taste the fucking Dude they taste so good It's just too greasy I have fantasy often. Like, every time I see a duck in any context, whether it's like cartoon, that much. I really fucking love duck. I can't even express you. I would kick a duck to death just to eat it. Really? Every time I've had duck, it's been like it's okay. It's all right.

No, duck is very good. Duck is good, but the thing is that duck is, you got to cook it for a while because it's greasy. It's always like very greasy. It's very fatty. It's very fatty. It's very gaming. It's like that such a... But the duck fat itself like seasons the meat. Like you don't need to put anything on for it to be fucking delicious, whereas, like, rabbits, rabbit and, um, and lamb are kind of bland unless you prepare it in a certain way. Lamb is fucking good, man. I've had some good ass fucking shorma and shit like that. Oh, well, swarma.

Well, I mean, what I'm talking, I'm talking about as a base meat, like, by itself. Like, without like any fucking creaturemon. What the fuck? Lamb is shorma. Shorma, surema's lamb, dude. Yeah, but, yeah, but like, you don't order, you don't order unseason fucking lamb. Oh, true, but who's, who's, who's, uh, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, going to unseasoned.

No, but what I'm saying is you don't have to season. Like, I have made, I have cooked duck breast by itself and not put anything on it, and it's fucking delicious. That's the whitest thing I've ever heard. And that duck fat, by the way, that duck, you can add, and you can add extra shit to make it taste even better. But, like, that duck fat, too, you can make fries with that stuff, and it's fucking unbelievable.

Like, I don't know, if anybody has an opportunity, like, and maybe it's like, it's probably not that, I don't know if it's really that big of a thing in L.A., to be honest. like in in in um manhattan or new york or maybe even on the east coast in general where there's like a lot of chinese restaurants like or like more i don't know there's there's more of a i feel like it was easier to get duck over there i don't know what it is but it's fucking delicious chicken's the second best because it's the most malleable you could do you could do like the most with it i think chicken's the best man it's i think duck tastes better but i think's overall the greatest meat ever do chicken is more chickens like they're

clay of meat. We're like, you could like really make it into whatever the fuck you want. You can make it into a soup. You could make it into a fucking, uh, you could make it make it, uh, you could make it, you can make it fried. You can make it like, you can make it fuck Sneakos girl. You could do anything with chicken. Yeah, you can make it fuck Steak and if I could, if I could, if I could, if I could, if I could cucked sneco and eat duck at the same time, that's like Christmas.

That is, that is Chris. That is my, that is Christmas. Right there. Anyway. That is the most fucked up. That's good. If I could eat duck and fuck Sneakle's girl, it's got a question. No, I never said, I never said fuck Sneak girl.

I don't know who she is. Whoever she is irrelevant. The point is, Sneiko is getting cucked. That's the point. That is what I want. I don't care. I'm not even paying attention to the woman.

It could be a guy for all I care. I don't really care. As long as I'm getting my duck. Get your dog. My duck and my fuck, dude. Duck and fuck, dude. Duck and fuck. thick and duck.

Duck and fuck. That sounds like a good, it sounds like a good restaurant. You just say it's Thai, just to pass it off. You know, it's called Duck and Fuck and say it's Thai,

and then you can call it duck and fuck. Anyway, that's literally, that's literally all that happened this week, to be honest with you. Like, I, I scoured for a while today,

like looking for something. The Streamer Awards happened and like whatever. Oh, the Oscars happened, and everything, everything, everything.

I still haven't seen that movie. I gotta go, I gotta watch it. Yeah, I tried watching it, but I was, you gotta really pay attention I was like I don't have time to pay attention to shit right now

I don't have time I know what you mean when I first started to watch it I was like falling asleep because I had just flown in like when I moved here and then they were like let's watch the movie I was like yeah and I fell asleep 20 minutes in because I was like exhausted but I gotta give it a I gotta give another shot that swept Brendan Fraser

one I want to watch that movie the fat piece of shit I really want to watch that movie that movie look look it's sad it's fucking depressing that movie's a lot of course with man that's a that is a film

dude you don't feel good after watching that movie at all uh it's not like it's not like life of pie it's not like that where it's not really like nice and warm inside I think I would compare it

you feel sort of triumphant towards the end but like not really he loses like a pound or something and then like the movie ends yeah he loses one pound and it and it implies that uh yeah

yeah he dies yeah yeah starts playing this like triumphant like angels in the outfield music or some shit and then like he loses one pound and dies. He loses one pound and dies. He needed every bit of that weight

to function and now that you lost one pound he's gone. No, it's a good movie. It's a very good movie. I would seeing him in such a good after such a long time makes me feel so good dude. It's nice. I felt so good. I was like, let's go. Same thing with the fucking short round man. Short round, uh, Keehuei Kwan

fucking won the, uh, won an Oscar two. That was fucking, that was dope. That was dope. That was dope. Yeah, so Consider in freaking what you call Bicentennial Man together too Which is also hilarious as well And they've been friends since then Which is a wild

This is wild circumstance Hey yo, if we don't see The Mummy 4 I'm gonna, we we ride it That's not gonna happen No He got so mistreated Yes it is don't say that

Don't even put the energy on the way Did you guys see? So mistreated during that movie's creation Hell no It's time To redeem the franchise The Rock's Coming back as a Scorpion King, it's all coming together.

Speaking of, speaking of, speaking of, speaking of Rock, that would be hilarious. Speaking of Rock, did you guys see Chris Rock's special? Yeah, it was all right. I finally finished it today. And it was, it had some moments, but the problem, the biggest problem and was that everybody that watched it was waiting for him to talk about, you know what. So essentially what you were kind of doing while you were watching it. is almost kind of just anticipating like, I feel like it would have been better

if you would have opened with it. And, like, say, it kind of like, you blew your load, now you can kind of relax. That's how I felt at least. You know what's crazy? You know what's crazy about I've noticed about a lot of comedians? What, the way Dave Chappelle's comedy works

is because it's so storied, you know? Like, Dave Chappelle tells you stories in his comedy, you know, where, like, it's funny because he throws a joker to in there, but you feel like you're learning something. You're hearing something that's worth being told. And I feel like no other comedian does that. So automatically I have less of a good time watching most other comedian stand-ups.

Well, I mean, there's a lot of videos that tell us stories. Because I prefer the way Dave delivers his stand-up so much more than every other one. Yeah, he's, I mean, he's very good at telling stories. He doesn't do that anymore, though. He now- I know, he hasn't for a little bit. He's doing, you know, political, he's doing commentary. Yeah.

And it's not really funny. It's just like, oh, okay. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I haven't seen his most recent stuff, but I remember, I don't know, he's done a couple of shows that were basically lectures. And I thought they were pretty fucking good, to be honest with you. But I like them, but they're not, like, killing them softly. They're nothing like that. No, it's different.

It's different. It's different. It's completely different. It's fucking hilarious. I screamed. I screamed. I thought was, I, that was. Stix and Stones might be the last comedy special that I asked.

I actually like laughed at to the point where it actually like heard a little bit. That Michael Jackson like suck my dick joke fucking kills me every time I hear it. But yeah, I mean, I just, I don't know, it was so, you know what it, what disappointed me about it, about Chris Rock's special is that so much of it felt like my old material, but done worse. You know what I mean? Like, because he touched on a couple of, he touched on a couple of things like, oh man, you know, it was like some of the stuff that we'd be. We would talk about a lot when we were doing political stuff back in like 2016, 2017,

except I genuinely don't think it was even close to as funny. And that's largely because it's so late. I think that was my problem with Paper Tiger by Bill Byrd. Like, the first half of it was just all stuff that I remember doing back in, like, 2017. And quite frankly, like, I don't like feeling like I'm better than comedians that I look up to. Like, that's like, that should never, that should never cross my mind ever. Yeah, but the problem is, it does sometimes. These are older people.

That's true. These are older people and they're getting this material late because their finger is not on the pulse. Like Joe Rogan, for example, because he did it too. Joe, I liked one of his specials in like 05 or something. And after that, I just didn't give a shit about his stand-up. But he got onto a super late that he discovered us after a while. And he was like, oh, these people, I want to talk to them and shit. You know, Sargon came on his podcast, which I still.

I'm like, why the fuck is this guy on there? They made the atheist came on a few times, which I at least understand that. He was pretty OG. Yeah, yeah. Sark guy. Well, the thing too. You know what I'm saying? But they kind of like got onto this and specifically because of Joe and shit like that.

And then Chris Rock too, where he started making woke references, which really disappointed me because I felt like Chris Rock is old enough to where he's fucking knows that woke has been around. which really disappointed me because I felt like Chris Rock is old enough to where he fucking knows that woke has been around for decades. It is a very, it is a term that has existed and has had meaning for decades. And I feel like he's old enough to know this. But he's like, I'm just going to participate in this fucking woke shit now too because it's the hot thing to do. And that kind of disappointed me. I was like, that's fucking lame. It's just boring.

It's just boring. I don't think it's as interesting. And I also just think like, like, Paper Tiger by Bull Bear is a really good example. Because the first half of that special is like a lot of stuff that I remember doing back in like 2017, except quite frankly, quite frankly just better. Like straight up. I'm like, I don't like to say that, but it's just true. And the second half of it's actually really good because it's actually new stuff that he focused on that's like completely separated from it. It's like, oh, this is good.

That's so weird that half of the special is really good. And half of it's just kind of like almost like hand me downs for. from YouTubers. It's very, it's, it's bizarre. And it's, it's, it's not even that it's offensive. It's just that it's like, I don't know, it's just bland. It's like really safe and easy and not all that clever and just like, we, we get it. We get it. Yeah, it's annoying. All this stuff is annoying and dumb and stupid. You get it. And see, that's the thing. Like, you're not, you're not, Bill Burr is speaking to his audience that are, I would say, in his age range and a little bit

younger that are not on YouTube. They don't fucking live on YouTube like we do. So to them it's pretty fresh and it feels like oh, so we I've noticed most stand up a lot and a lot of them are talking, doing the same thing right now. They're

latching onto this whole, you know, the SJW woke or whatever it is and oh everybody's getting offended, outrage, that's the new one. Like triggered was one from Joe Rogan and I'm like completely over I'm with you. I'm completely over this shit. And I'm like, well, somebody likes it because they keep fucking doing it.

They keep fucking doing it. And it sucks. Not everything is for you. It's not for me. I just want to. Like it. This is not clean. I'm not meant to like it.

They're going to move on eventually. It's just like how our community of anti-SJW shit, that shit dispersed. And then, you know, most people moved on. They're like, oh, okay, that shit's done. And I feel like whatever the hell is going on in the comedy scene where these people are talking about all this dumb shit. They're trying to be like, oh, everybody's, they're still saying things like everybody's offended. They're like, God, damn, that was 2014, 2015.

I remember that was talking points that people like us were saying. By 2016, that was old news. And it didn't bear, it didn't bear repeating, really. Yeah. So it's just, yeah, it's just like, man, it's 2023 now and just like, come on. Not a lot of it was that. But it's made worse also by Chris Rock's method of delivery. And this is just like

He's always been like that He has a fame Yeah I mean it's it's his style It's like it's absolutely like Because he has what he does And I've seen and I've seen And I've seen and I've seen And I've seen him talk about this too

Like with other comedians where he talks about like Yeah my style of delivery is like Or Chris Rock's style of delivery is like He repeats the premise Over and over again To kind of hammer it in to remind people What the joke is And his repetition of the premise

combined with the fact that this is very old material it just makes it so much because he goes like you know I don't know like everybody is offended and then he says it three times again and then like he delivers a joke and then he says it twice again and it's like this is too much man

like I get it I know this is your style and I know it works for a lot of things but like this specific genre of joke you gotta come up with a different you got it you know I almost I almost turned it off I almost turned it off dude I wasn't I didn't finish it

I didn't finish it I finished it I watched about I watched about 25 minutes of it I got it to the point where he talks about how his daughters go to a good school like he did a good there was there was one bit where he talked about how he like how he

he was talking about how he got his kids kicked out of school to teach him a lesson Carter kicked out of the school yeah to teach her a lesson I was like I like that that's a fun story but also I was like it took too long to get here

it took too long to get to the first the first story and joke that I actually really liked so I'm just gonna I'm gonna like I look I just looked up the the the Will Smith stuff afterwards I should have done that I should have just looked it up now I gave it a full watch so I can give a proper critique then my feelings

about it's still the same for the most part it's fine I definitely had some laughs I remember that I the part I almost turned off at was there's a joke where he's talking about why he dates younger women and like like say why he wants to like fuck doja cat or some shit like that or you know he was saying they're they're not as expensive as women his age because they expect more because they're grown

ass women and one thing he kept doing and his repetitive shit was all 25 years just want a pair of shoes and then he kept going could he buy me new shoes and he said it like 10 times can he buy me new shoes and i was like i i was just about to turn it off and then he finally stopped I was like, this is the most annoying shit. Imagine like a woodpecker just pecking your dick. That's what it felt like. I was like, I can't believe this guy thinks this is, with his voice, too? Yeah, just fucking voice.

It's like helium escaping a fucking balloon. He's like, yeah, and I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, 205, you just want a parachute. And it's like, all right. I can. That's pretty, I'm going to be honest, that wasn't that bad. He's not that. He's not that.

Chris Rock is a pretty high. Chris Rock is surprisingly not difficult to impersonate. I've never once tried that before, but that was way closer than I thought it would. Yeah, I was way closer. Yeah, I don't know, man. To be fair, Chris Rock's never been like one of my favorites, but like, I don't know. It's strange. He's never, yeah, he's just been like, oh, I respect him.

I respect him. He's one of the great's favorites. That's a thing. He's not one of those. He's like, what is it? the rapper's favorite rapper or whatever. Yeah, yeah. I feel like that's...

Yeah, I feel like that was Bill Cosby, honestly. For a long time. No, Bill Cosby is all of the goats favorite because of the... And still is... Because of the black goats, because of the fact that, you know... Like, I think everybody unanimous, like, everybody from that era,

like, Jerry Seinfeld literally has talked endlessly about how, like, yeah, he was the... I wanted to be him. Whoops. You want to be just like him. Everything. Every single thing about... him you wanted to be. Every single

thing known or unknown about Bill Cosby he wanted to emulate. And unfortunately he did it. All he did is have one of the greatest shows of all time that people still talk about fucking 35 years later. It won't shut the fuck up about it until it was crazy. But yeah, it's great. Hey lady, why is your drink

fizzing? Did somebody slip something in there? You put a gun in my mouth. You put a gun in my mouth. Why'd you put a gun in my mouth? I don't know. Jerry, I wanted the soup. Jerry, I wanted the soup. Jerry. I wanted the soap.

I needed the soap, Jerry. I just, I didn't think she was going to call the cops of me. I think it was a big deal. She called the cops? She called the cops. She called the cops. Oh, my God.

Hey, hey, you guys got any, um, you guys got any inward passes? He breaks in and asks them for Edward passes. That's a great episode. That would watch it. I would watch, you know what? You know what? You know what's fucked up?

that would be a great episode yeah uh let's move on to some uh some questions kramer's hunt for the n word pass that'd be great I have some questions chat chat gtb

chat gt chat gt dude did you see that episode of south park with the chat gpd yeah chat jbbt dude it's pretty good chat t bt bt dude I fucking dude dude I forgot south park even

I'm I fuck it's back with HBO finally took it off paramount oh because of that deal yeah yeah for the deal, but there's a, there's, there's, there been, I mean, some of the, HBO's falling apart two, HBO Max falling apart too, though. So, so they're killing it? Like, uh, I mean, I would say it's not amazing, but it's pretty, it's not bad.

Like, the last, the chat GPT episode, I thought was pretty, was pretty funny. Like, because they, the whole, the whole premise is like, uh, like, like, I think, like Stan, like, Wendy's upset with Stan because, like, uh, she doesn't like the way he, like, kind of nonchalantly responds to text, like, and it's like, what, everybody's, like, like, praising Clyde for being like such a good boyfriend for sending thoughtful text and it's like how you do it how you send these great texts and he's like chat GPT dude and it's like a whole thing chat too yeah it's it's it's pretty good they got that fucking mountain man like that naturalist mountain man to come into the school it's like I'm

here looking for AI shadow wing to me yeah the falcon it's it's not bad it's not one of the best episode he summons a falcon out it goes and it does stuff and it packs it at the end of it, it's like written by Tray Parker and chat GPT. Let's, but yeah, let's get into some questions. I love FOV slider, Zeronez. There's positive question this week. What's something that amuses you or makes

you smile every time you see it? Sneak-o. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. As a blade, it makes me smile. Every time I see him, I smile now. What makes you smile every time I see it? Definitely boobies. Yeah, I don't smile when I see boobs. I just look. I gawk. I don't want to smile. Yeah, you just gawk. I get, I get

hard and then immediately flaccid in the span of two seconds. And it's a sight to behold. Yeah, it's like a really quick. You won't believe the headache that I get, though. That's sick, man. It's crazy. What is that?

Is that your face when you see boobs? Is that what that is? Yeah, it's hot. That's hot, dude. That's hot. That's hot. The ladies love that shit, bro. Click and collect.

Order confirmed. Dad, tomorrow can we start a band? Can we become robots? Affirmative. Can we go crab battling? That isn't a thing. How about swimming? Dad, can we take a nap?

You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal. Deal. While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials. Book your free click and collect slot at tesco.e or in app. Tesco, every little helps. Terms and conditions apply. There you go. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for the audio listener. Hey, next time a chick shows you your boobs, you got to, like, smile. They're like fucking, like, like, what's his name? The baby. I'm not even going to lie. Like, one time I was so. She flashing the gun. One time I was so tired, I literally just said, oh, cool.

I've definitely been, like, just put those away. I've definitely been, like, just put those away. Put those away. Put those away. All right now. Like slapping my wife's tits, like, like, hard. like actually like disrespectful slapping. You're having a bad day.

You're having a bad day and then your girlfriend's like, how about, does this help you out? And she flashes you and you're like, honey, every single one of my friends and family have been outed as rapist pedophiles and all of my money is gone. And I lost my leg. I don't even have a penis anymore because the bomb exploded

right in front of my genitals. No. this doesn't fix anything are you stupid are you a are you this much of a dumb bitch that you think you have this much power to help this situation and you start reaching towards her

you think do you think you start lurching you start lurching with your one leg missing with the he's I'm sorry I have had experience I have that experience like that where it's like I'm going to like a really like rough period

and it's like oh do these help it's like I mean no not really to be quite frank to be honest with you like I mean do you say it Do you say it? No, I say it. I accept. I accept to like listen, like, she's doing her best, but like there is part of me that

thinks like the audacity of this person to think like that that helps it all. Like I have thought it's like that. You got to be. Look, man. I thought you're going to say something. I thought you're going to say something I was waiting. Part of me wishes I was dating so I could just demean women more than that in a way, in a better way, you know?

I mean, aren't you, I mean, you're, you are technically. Well, I'm, I'm stuck. I'm stuck though. I'm stuck with this one. Yeah. but you could just berate this person. I can't get she's one woman. I wish I could go around.

Like, I wish I was still in the game so I could make women, give women problems to other men who have to deal with later on, pretty much. Yeah, you're the worst.

Yep. That's pretty dope. Anyway, that's pretty dope. Anyway, I'm going to move on. I'm going to move on. Chasing Tom wrote in.

He goes, hello again, cunts. My questions never get read, so I'm going to spam some. Fuck you. You give you by a bit, well, congratulations.

You finally did it. What are some, what are some disturbing facts that alter your view? of otherwise cute things. For me, it's that toddler's adult teeth form right under their eyes. Look up a toddler skull if you're brave enough.

Can't look at the little freaks anymore without looking at their cheekbones and thinking what horrors lie underneath. It is off-putting. I think when I learned like dolphins were rapists and things like that. Yeah, I really hurt. That was just fucking dope.

You're a demon. This is a devil. You fucking prick. Jesus Christ. Hey, yo, man, them rape is daffins, man. They go hard, dude. What did I find out when I found out

I made me really upset? Yeah? Made me not want to fucking meet Flipper, dude. That nigga will rape you faster than lightning. I was like, not fucking that. He'll rape you dead and then leave you there. You remember that dumb-ass show?

There was a fucking... His name is Flipper. Faster than lightning. Of course. What the hell are you talking about? You didn't watch Flipper? Y'all niggis should see. Y'all niggis should see.

trust me y'all niggins what's it called flipper flipper it was just like an old fucking

I think it might even been in black and white maybe got in 1964 bro like what the fucking watching flipper for

you fucking freaks you watch my chance it's my chance did you watch that you watch that fucking talking horse show too

you fucking Mr. Mr. Ed I put to watch this a little bit you're gonna give me my cubes are we going to have a fucking problem

there was a few niggas in the barn today and it's like the black people are like Ed shut up please I'm on the run look the niggas up there he's in the dark he's hiding from you I can see him I actually thought three fifths was too much hirr fucking horse

kick someone in the fucking head three acres in a mule that's absurd I love the idea I love the idea of a racist ass horse A racist is fuck He's They have to put blinders on

So he doesn't see He doesn't see the minorities on the side of the road He can't see He can only see what's ahead of him If he notice is when he goes over And he starts berating them It's like shut up times have changed We can't say that anymore

Ed this is not right I don't want them to go to school with your kids? The shit that passed for entertainment, man. They really just dubbed a horse without any effort at all. They just recorded a horse.

They recorded a horse as is and just had a guy off camera go like, well, Donnie, I think you should, I don't think she has rights. So it's all right what you did. And that's the whole show. The whole fucking show. I watched Lassie?

Yeah, it wasn't that, was that a talking dog or was it just a dog that went on adventures? There's a dog that ran to the same well, the same stupid ass boy over and over again. Timmy kept getting fucked up. Timmy was a molested by his uncle. He got molested by his uncle's fucking best friend. He got molested by the fucking by the teacher.

He got molested by the fucking lawman. And then to hide by the fucking doctor. And then to cover for them, for all these people to cover for them, they just dumped him in a well. In the well? They molested him. He passed out. They put him in a well. Last he'd be like, he's back in a well.

well again. Can you imagine, can you imagine really, like, authentically, like, waking up in the middle of the night and your uncle's, like, dabbing on you, and then you, and then he just drags you out into the middle of the road and throws you down a well to cover up. And then, and then, not only

that, but you get saved by a fucking dog. The same borderline that looks at you with disappointment, yeah, is like, how are you getting molested so much? What is it? What is it? Tim, you fell on the well? Rape. Rape.

Rape. Rape. Pastor. It's really fucking. What are you saying, boy? It's really fucking evil. A lot of those shows are fucking good. Look at that moment.

It's like, Timmy, come on, dude. Timmy, come on, dude. As far as... You think there were like all new horses for that show,

like after they were filming they just shock them, blast them, and then bring in the next one for the... It was definitely not to say. Homer bound, home or bound, again. They just...

They went through so many horses. I've seen videos of that And that shit is so Funny for a moment than Not at all Because horses drop like bricks when they pass away It's insane You ever see that video of the

You ever see the video of the bricked up horse Where he's like he's trying to like they're trying to get to I think it's like a mate Yeah they're trying to get two horses to mate and then The girl the female horse Kicks the male horse in the head and it dies It just drops. Holy shit.

It just drops and shits itself. It's one of the funniest videos I've ever seen in my life. Because, you know, they don't care. You know, they're horses. The horses is always shit, man. I'm pretty sure. I'm fairly certain a horse could see its own son or calf or whatever you want to call. Get whist away by a flying saucer.

They probably wouldn't even pay no mind to it. I think they're not like apes. They don't have the capacity to mourn or anything. But all the man needs in this world is a horse and a dog, man. I got to be real with you. I gotta be real with you. And a gun and a sword. I don't know if this toddler thing.

I don't know if this toddler thing should apply because I don't know if toddlers are cute enough to even have a cuteness thing dispelled about them. Like, I don't think- Infants are ugliest shit. Toddlers are pretty cute. Infants are disgusting, bro. Of course they are.

I guess yeah, I'm thinking like newborns. I'm like, Jesus Christ, man. Newborns are disgusting. They look disgusting. Like, don't resist the urge to just throw them in the dumpster

downstairs or whatever. I feel like newborns are really good gaslighters. because to convince anybody to take care of you looking like that is crazy. Fucking horrendous. They look like nightmares. They look like nightmares in tiny form. They look at all the one thing I did like about Chris Rock is. Dobby is free.

Dobby just subscribe to Verizon Wireless. Dobby just caught a knife to the sternum. Dobby has unlimited calling to the U.S. and Canada. What are we talking to? I don't remember. I don't know, man. Dude, he got killed like a regular person, man. He got killed like I would get killed.

He just caught a knife to the middle of his body and died, man. I think about the fact that Dobby got Wadden Warfare 2 throwing knifed in a movie about magic and whimsy all the time. Like, there was so many magical, mystical ways for him to meet his end and he just got throwing knifed. And a bunch of kids were probably like screaming and like blowing MLG air horns while it happened. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh. That was honestly, that was the before time. That was like the, that was, you know how like, um,

like in destiny terms, that was the golden age. And like we're living in like a collapse now. That was before the collapse. Yeah. Now the collapse has happened. Everything's fucked. Yeah. Anyway, let's move on because I don't think anything's cute.

Uh, Ninja Fox wrote in. There's the last question because we, we got stuff to do. Also, I'm, I feel fucking. So I've been going to the gym like three times a fucking day. Now I'm so tired. Ninja Fox Road in It's two sessions of actual So it's one session of boxing

Like proper boxing Then it's a second session of Of conditioning So it's like like intense cardio basically And like specific muscle exercises And then the rest of it's just Basically running and working on breathing So it's like

My whole body hurts They're parts of my body that I didn't even know where they are that hurt now I like that though Yeah I like that for you bro I like that I like that you're a pain Let me be happy. My body is getting sneak-oed right now by me.

You know, like, I'm really ruining. I'm really ruining. Like, all I'm doing is causing it damage, and it doesn't quite see the benefit yet. Maybe it will be there, but who knows? Ninja Fox wrote it, and he goes, hello boys. The song parodies have been absolutely hilarious recently. My question is for Chris and Derek.

When are you two going to cover It's Terror Time from Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island? Derek did this already I was actually going to do it But I was sick for like a week's at the time It had my voice just didn't I couldn't do it But uh

You're you're you're fucking You're three for three man You're three for three every time I ask you This nigga is is pure silence from you I'm sorry It is fucking silence In fairness this time I saw what you sent me this time

But I have like no fucking time And I'm so tired all the time Because of this gym shit Normally normally this would be unacceptable but I'm gonna give myself a pass but I want to tell you this

I will absolutely do that I just have to you send me the lyrics right did you send me the lyrics No I didn't see the lyrics as I assumed that like You know it's toxic it's just fucking toxic man I mean I know you didn't know it budges Wait oh it's oh okay What did you think I said you? I thought it was a gay parody

Oh No no no no no it's just Oh I was waiting for the lyrics No no no no no that's so funny no no no no is that my legacy now is that who I am

yes you automatically assume you make the homosexual parodies that's Derek right that guy that makes those homosexual song parodies I did post something and I don't know if you saw this I did post something to say that if I sing it without changes in the lyrics it would technically be a gay parody because it starts off by saying like a guy like

you should get a warning which I'm singing about how a guy's making me toxic because he's so hot or whatever And so I'm like, well, I was like, oh, this is gay shit. I like it. I like it. I qualified. Gay shit. Yeah, I mean, I got a laundry list of shit, bro.

I'll try and jump on it this weekend. On the taste of your lips, I want some cum. But, yeah, so this guy, in my throat, sipping peat. Cawksic. So this guy says, you mentioned this is about 130 episodes, and I haven't forgotten, please, I need it. Thanks for the last. There is, like, Derek already killed a really good fucking tarotime pair. Not parody.

God damn my brain. A teratime cover as is. So that already exists. Cummy time again? It's cummy time again. That's so dumb. It's cummy time again. As he's coming straight into his hand and squeezing it.

And then come is leaking out his fucking leaking between his fingers. He's squeezing it hard. On Scooby-Doo on Zobie Island. Who would be the most likely to come in their own palm on Scooby-Doo Zami Island? Um, fucking... Did you see the chef? Did you, did you, did you, do you remember the chef? He's kind of thick.

He's like a big guy like... Yeah, yeah, he's like, yeah, he's like, yeah, I remember their chef. He's like, y'all, I'm on here. These guy, I got cum in my hand over here. You know, he's just walking with just... He's a walking in his hand. And everybody's like, yo, is that cummy? He's like, yeah.

Gumbo. Well, I got this cumma in my hand over here. And, uh, he put it in the gumbo over here. And then you eat it. He doesn't use that hand. He just, he just, he doesn't use that hand. comes in that hand and squeeze he never

used cooked with that hand he's never touched the food with that hand never once but yeah yeah yeah he was just saying like we should do that that cover or was just saying anything else

he just said he wants a tarotime cover okay well look it look it actually so I'll say this and let's move on I want to I want to redo it because number one the guy that I worked with on the drums I hated the set that he used you know, respect to him.

I hate what it sounds like, and my mixing was so fucking bad that I just, I'm not happy, even though I think it's something kind of good for its time. Exactly. And then, I'm down. We'll do that.

I love that song. Okay. All right. Excellent. Excellent. All right. Well, that's going to be, we're trying to,

so I'm going to be straight up with you guys. I've got a lot of training to do. It's, it's, my schedule is hectic as hell right now, and it will be for, like, the next, like, month or so. So, I hope you, don't lynch me or anything, but the episodes are going to be a little shorter,

and I hope that's okay. I hope you guys understand. I'm fucking exhausted. We need it. All the time. I'm doing two days of the gym now. Same. And I pick up my wife.

I take my wife and I pick her up. I take my wife. I kill wife. I take my wife. I kill wife. My wife. You know, me sad. I go to gym again.

I find new wife. I kill wife. I find out if I kill new wife I kill new wife I kill new wife It's the cycle It is new cycle All right

Let me just I wish I could kill my wife man All right That being said Well thanks for stopping by to start Oh by the way By the way Welcome to the Star Tank podcast

We'll see you We never introed the show at all We never intro the show at all Anyway if you want to go support us go over to patreon.com slash the snark tank. There's a bunch of stuff over there, including Patreon exclusive episodes. All that jazz is over there. We did a fun one that I still think about where we did the Steam game,

the Steam review guessing game, and we did the canceled person fantasy draft. There's a lot of fun stuff over there. That game show one was fucking funny. That was a funny. Howie Mandel? Oh, yeah, I forgot about the game show. Howie Mandel. This is hilarious.

There's fun episodes over there, and I think you guys will appreciate it. Eat the baby. Eat the baby. I'm going to read off some of our highest tiered patrons, our $25 and up patrons, the people who keep this show afloan, as well as the rest of you guys donate. I'm going to delete my bookmarks while we're doing this. I'm going to do something about bookmarks. Man, the people are going to be asking questions that I can answer. Off camera, how many tits in total are saved?

Oh, tits? genuinely like maybe maybe one pair of tits. Really? It's a lot of penises though. It's like way more penises than I can explain because I think it's really funny

that someone's really mad to try to one up you and you just send him a picture of our animated cock. And it's just like, what the fuck? Yeah, yeah. All right. I mean, fair enough. I do send my friends gay Disney porn sometimes.

Yeah, yeah, I'm aware. You said this to me, you ruined my day. Yeah, yeah. You said to you guys. I love that fucking movie. You ruined it for me. He forgot. You know, I still could ask about that shit.

You did that to yourself. Fair enough. Fair enough. All right, let's get out of here. All right. Three, two, one. Doc Jenkins and the tism schism. Dad, dad, dad.

No, don't worry. This is only gay if you like it. The embodiment of Sween's mommy issues. She pipkin on my pippa. I used to sponsor a third world child. Now I pay for this podcast. Congrats on actively making a child's life worse. Jordan Peterson's decrepit finger pointing.

Domo Nation average clit energy. Audio booking HP Lovecraft is hilarious because he'll be describing a hideous monster and it's just some black guy. What the fuck? Damn. That is H.P. Lovecraft. though, that would be how he would do it. That's just

funny. That's so funny. It's like everybody just thought it was Cthulhu, but like if you read the book, he's literally just describing like Marlon Wayans. Oh my god, him in the future, though. But in the future, in the far-flung future. It's so stupid. Goaded racism, man.

It's like that episode of South Park where like San, like he turns tan and everything looks and sounds like shit or whatever. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's like we all thought HVLFraps was describing these, like, horrors beyond our comprehension, but it was literally just... It was just Eddie Murphy. Like, as is.

Like, not even from delirious, where it's, like, kind of, like, looks dangerous. Uh, let's... All right, let's go. Star Coffee. Sweeney, you owe my friend, Devin, child support. Uh, I have a cute... Whoa. I have cute penis syndrome.

My penis is not small, just cute. Uh, okay, you know, I think I, do I understand this? I don't, I don't. I've never seen, I've never seen cute genitals, quite frankly. My penis is barred, dog. It looks terrifying. It's barred. You know, you know, when they show, you know when they show serbris and he has that spike collar around his neck?

My dick has one of those, bro. Yeah. Yeah. My dick has, uh, my dick has calcified stones in there that I've been, I've been, uh, I've been saving. and every now and again I pop them for like a YouTube video and it's like one of those tripophobia videos where like there's a much of holes in the skin

that's what it looks like very cool like a lot of like a lot of tiny like a lot of tiny bowls of cereal oh my god staying that's so horrible that's actually one of the most heinous images I've ever conjured up

staying hydrated to be ready to piss on Margaret Thatcher's grave at a moment's notice I'd rather be I'd rather my kid be trans than a furry scream team quit yeastwood trans femme gremlin can Logan Paul abandoned a million pigs. My sexual awakening was the quirky goth girl from NCIS and my taste in women is ruined. The angelic dungeon master whose father makes really good political points but also doesn't like trans people and I'm not sure how to deal with it.

Dr. 8 Ph.D., very smart. Craig the Canadian. It's your boy. Shawnee D. Isaac Clark kicking the shit out of a mutant baby since 2008. Matt Walsh is a hero of our time. Sweet Baby Game for Life. Indie Butterknife on YouTube.com. Alternate reality porn. Mr. Rogers is the tightest cum-hungry slot on the bang bus. What's with these homies? This and my girl. Oh yeah. To gain an edge on Froggy Fresh I've been sparring with Fireless anal beads up my ass. So if you, so if I win, you know why. 3XO and the coin purse or shoe singular from his ball.

I don't know what's happening. 3XO and the coin purse or shoe singular made from his ball skin post-mortem. It's in the will. Slapp and eat and stroke and gulp in. And modicons going like this, Storm Boy's Life and what do you like? If he turned the word gullible upside down, it looks like, you suck. That's literally just the, it's just the word gullible upside down. I can't say that.

What a rat. That's so fucking annoyed. That's that piss. That's so aggravating to see and read. Call her Little Caesars the way her pussy hot and ready. Drip M.H. Lord of Drip. Nancy Pelosi killing a Palestinian with their massive tits. Obie won't you blow me.

Lovin women is gay. The fuck you kiss on cock suckers for. Kremlin the Gremlin. The Messiah of Misogyny. Cuck Norris. Hey, that's Sneiko is a subscriber of the podcast. Alst the wall. Okay, you said it right.

Abby, something funny and topical. Chris, you look like you speak. smell bad. Aw. Waste slave 583. I'm actually obsessively clean. It's disgusting. Like, I used to like... I'm not going to get into this. What's up, Howie?

I bleached the tub when I hit it, which is like a... Not something you're supposed to do. You bleached the tub. Are you fucking maniac? That's why you're right. You're probably brown. You were probably brown once. When I was little, and this is no exaggeration. When I was little, I was darker than Kingston. That's what...

What type of life did you live? Very stressful. I had bleached the tub while I was eating. He's about to fucking get a soul patch and shit. I've actually, I've actually been color grading my videos this whole time. I was actually black until 2017. That's insane. I can tell you guys personally that's not true as I knew him before.

He was not a black person. I have no way to verify that. Yeah, yeah, there's no way. Anyway. black. I just appeared white. I just appeared white skin to you, Kingston. I was definitely black. Wichelay 583. I feel gay fuck you. The Pippini brothers

and the mystery fighters, Jackie Rippy Doe. Darren some white man. Oh, interesting. Nice. Culturally unwares snake, the ever chosen. Fun fact, the Americans were polled. When the Americans were pulled, the two most common pancake toppings are common piss.

Have a nice day. That's not true. Oh my God. Those are mine. That was mine. Tell him, Steve, Dave, Andre Brooks, Ah, Aaron Yeager's defense lawyer.

John Strickland, Puss in Boots, The Last Wish, would be a perfect movie if Jack Corner was also racist. Merck's 1889, cavernous gash energy. Oh my God.

The first church of Keith David, oh, whoa, here he comes. Watch out, boy, he'll suck you off. Oh, oh, here he comes. He's a cum eater.

God damn it. That's so stupid. It's a hall. Oh, here he comes. It's going. Here he comes. Watch out, boy. He'll suck you all.

Oh, oh, here he comes. Oh, here he comes. He's a tough eater. So dumb. That's a good song, though. It's a good. I like those. I like Hall Notes.

Goops McKenzie. You guys should make a gay parody of that Sandy Hook tribute song. Will I Am produced? Yo, say word. Man, come on, bro. Say word. That's crazy. That doesn't exist, right?

I'll fucking, I'll make fun of that song right now. I believe that's real. You know what it is? It's like logic doing his suicide hotline song. I ran over my 2003 Silverada with my new voodoo blue 2020 Toyota Tacoma. Pre-Raz, Blake 896, the spider that crawls in your mouth while you sleep. Ashlet came on the brakes of the train that derailed in East Palestine. That's how it happened.

I love Chick-Mnuggers. God Emperor Sweeney. Clean yo dick, Peterson. Away. Fly it's building. Church of Cammy's abs. Absolutely. I would go to that church.

I'd go to the church of Cammy's thighs personally. I'm over Cammy's thighs. I go to church of Cammy, period. Cammy period. I'm first in line. I'd go to that church. I would deal with getting yelled at too. I'd go to that church and get yelled out.

No, yeah, Cammy, Camie is, I'd buy, I'd buy scented candles of that pussy. I swear to God. Tonka, the in-bred cabbage bag. I would actually, I would actually buy her underwear. And people would make fun of me And I'd be a guy, whatever, I got them. I would, look, man. I'd buy them.

I'd frame them. And I'd make a candle out of them. And then I'd light that candle every goddamn day. And I'd be walking around my apartment, brick the fuck up 24-7. No one would come over. But you'd always have a place to hang your hat. Blocked by Steve Shives. You can come here.

You just won't. Alaskan oil field trash. The tenant Lifting's famous Wyverns died. But thank God my parents don't listen to this. The fucking the pussy hat. of 2017. Sue Hulk, the Gout Law, Nikki Ziggy, Gears of War collection coming to Nintendo Switch

with Labo support featuring a fully functional Lancer controller. When I was, you know, I regret, you know, I will say I regret very deeply. Like, I could have at one point in like 2017, 2016, bought a fully like functioning replica of a Lancer and I thought I don't need this.

I won't buy it. And I regret it so hard. Like I wish I had bought that thing. because that thing is so fucking cool. Like, the Lancer is awesome. Like, just as a general cost. I don't know. I just,

because it was like 500 bucks and I was like, that's steep. You know, like, and I was like, I don't need it really. And I, I,

stupid me, I thought a pandemic wouldn't happen and the economy would improve. And, uh, these things would be available for longer. So, uh,

now they're all gone and I, I don't know. Yeah, you mean, I'd buy, it now though if anybody's out there if anybody's out there they got a lancer they're looking at part with I'm fucking

you name your price I'll come in a jar and give it to you if you want because my mom is that valuable I mean it's it's worth a lancer at least it's worth a lancer at least it's it's had enough you know beta testers that like it has there has to be some demand

lobotomize Jesus much like it's too much like Jeffrey Epstein loves all his children a teeny weenie little worm creature that lives in Tom Sweeney's ear canel that whispers dark truths to him every night. Jordan Peterson's Twitter out of 10. His Twitter's going fucking crazy.

Do you see the one where he thought Shia on Head was a trans? Was trans? It was a transo. So fucking funny. Bro, that shit had me wheezing. I'm bringing back Twitter trash specifically to just go through his feed.

Yeah, it's amazing. It's been amazing lately. He's been on fire. I'm not going to lie. He's been amazing. I like to chew on Jolly Ranchers. Jordan Peterson would be a like he would be a Batman villain you know what I mean

like yeah he's already got the drip man that suit is that suit's kind of fire I'm not gonna lie that suit's kind of it's extremely fire it's a pretty fire suit like that two-face would wear it is a two-faced suit and it it looks way cooler than it like he

he doesn't do anything that justifies that suit for sure but like it's a cool suit right uh people were clowning on him and I was like look man that's he's he's he's a weirdo, but that's a cool suit. That's a cool suit. I don't lie about that not being a drip.

That was objectively a drippy ass. I hate when people can't just admit just obvious things that are just like real just because it's like, oh, I don't like the person. Yeah, it's like, come on. It's like, no, dude. Like, everybody, everybody knows Hugo, Hugo Boss made cool suits.

Like, we all know this. We all know this. We all know. The Nazi uniform was kind of fire. You're going to tell me the KKK doesn't have cool names for ranks. Grand Dragon Bro Grand Dragon

The High Wizard The High Wizard is the fucking coolest shit bro That's a destiny term Dude Anyway I like to true Jolly Ranchers Jackson DuPont

Badly Brave Hugger Derek Sweeney There's a Kingdom Hearts Trading Card game Because of this knowledge As I have Aetherian Chris Gate Mavision Hudson ass

Bomberchann And as always rounding out our list King of Hephazard Much appreciated Thanks for stopping by This was a mess of an episode But I appreciate it

you all. We all appreciate you. There's going to be a fun uh, there's going to be a fun extra episode that we have not uh, you know, we've not decided on yet, but uh, but look forward to that. It's Patreon exclusive. Go over to Patreon your house slash start tank. Stop being a freeloader. Leave us

nice reviews on Apple, iTunes, all that shit. Uh, like share, fucking whatever. Share clips if you think things are funny. Uh, that's it. Fuck you. Oh, please. Please. Bye, sir. Yo, I had the Ku Klutz Klan Wikipedia page, Marked. What the fuck is going on?

What the fuck? That is weird. I, I, I have, I'm kind of speechless. I got to log out of my stormfront account. Yeah, yeah.