The Snark Tank - #155: Making Fun of The Brits

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

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Sausage McMuffin with egg, hash brown, small hot coffee, and sweet golden silence. All for only $5. Price and participation may vary. Promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing. Buta, ba, blah, ba. Hey, look, he said,

Get me. It's the chicken, chink, bungee. You can't touch me at all. Kitchen. in a dungeon. I'm crying. You're singing that. I'm just...

Torture, dog. Oh, no, I'm touching you. I don't remember the rest. Welcome to episode whatever. Face. Welcome to episode, whatever. This is an podcast. Did we do anything special

for episode 69 or did we fuck that up? We missed it about a lot. That's a while ago. We did... We didn't do anything special. Nearly a hundred episodes ago. I know, but I mean, we fucked it up, didn't we, though. No, no.

We didn't capitalize on it. We definitely mentioned it at the very late. Like, I don't know what we could have done. I don't know 69th obviously Dix and dimes I don't know That would have been pretty fucking

Orient the screen Just orient the screen differently I don't know Yeah What you say? You said orient Oh yeah We are talking about

Being chiling So Oh yeah Yeah It's a lot of sense I really thought That was the proper I thought that was the proper way

To refer to I thought Asian was rude And I thought Oriental Was the most proper way To say it Because unfortunately I was raised by grandparents.

Technically Oriental is supposed to be offensive. It's just supposed to be inanimate objects, right? Yeah, like, it's not what they're called. Right. You're called people. Oriental is like furniture. Yeah, furniture. Exactly.

So I would say that. And what made it words is that I had Asian friends that didn't correct me. You used to say Chinese niggas to everyone, like to everyone. I remember you talking about that. back in the day I used to call like everyone like this Vietnamese guy I beg oh this is that Chinese nigga right there and I'm like whoa that's crazy dude I don't do that

like I feel like that could have been me but I was around too many Asian people to do that because I had so many different kinds of Asian friends that is didn't have the energy to be like oh I'd have energy to argue with all of them all the time about what they were even if I knew I was right I didn't have the energy to force that on all of them

yeah it's like Ham Vina No, you're not. You're Chinese. What are you talking about? What are you on about? I have a friend that would, uh, he, uh, would just call everyone VCs, just like Viet Cong. He's like, they're all Viet Cong to me. I was like, yo, I hope this, uh, I hope this trend stops pretty quickly. Yeah. I hope you stop being racist. I really hope you stop me.

Good news. It stopped. I haven't heard him say that in a very last. long time, but I will remind him and get it going again. It's because he whispered him. You're going to remind him and it's going to be like, I never stopped. It's going to be like chat logs. And like this shit, he just been saying it the whole time. Just leaked Discord DMs. Yeah. Dude, if they

leak, if I get scared of like the idea of everybody's like, oh, freaking, remember that guy that ended up looking at the fucking porn for Pokemon, um, the, what is it called the, uh, I forget that guy, yeah, the deep fake. What is it? The deep fakes. Oh, yeah, yeah. I dread.

I dread the day that everyone's history gets leaked on Discord. Because mine isn't bad at all. Mine is probably the most vanilla ever. But like, if like the day that comes out, there are going to be some characters. They're going to have some explaining it. There's going to be some people,

yeah, for sure. Like if they leak people's fucking porn, like, like, people's history, like if somehow they get like this, um, some means they can look at everybody's like search history,

there's going to be questions, bro. everyone is going to be like I feel like it might be a day of unity where everyone's like oh we're all a little strange Yeah it's gonna be like some people are gonna be like Like I'm gonna be like here People are gonna be like up here and like There's gonna yeah I'm going through mine right now and it's so boring

Like there's not even anything you can misinterpret You know like uh Mine is just vanilla shit Oh like why was why would you search that And then there's an explanation for it I don't say anything in DMs that I wouldn't just tweet is the thing. And anything that I wouldn't tweet is just too boring to tweet.

It's just like, oh, that's a cool video or something. It's like it's never like I don't know. I don't know what people are doing. I don't know what people are doing that their DMs on Discord are so fatal to them. Like when people have like, oh, like, but it's constant. It's constant. But that's great. What are you saying?

It's crazy. It's like it's like constant. What could you possibly be saying? I guess it's constantly grooming. some wild shit. I feel like they're living like a fantasy. It's like, oh, I can't say this shit in public, so I'm going to go wild. I don't have that desire. I don't have that because I just say it. Yeah, I don't have like a thing.

What can I say that's so bad? Like, if my search history came out, then there's going to have to explain some stuff. It's still pretty vanilla compared to most people. I can let you. I'm looking at, I'm disappointed. It's like really not that crazy. Oh, here's one. Here's one that's at least, uh, Far back, me and Jojo were watching. We've been binging on Hell's Kitchen.

So there's searches of me trying to find naked, like, fake naked pictures of Gordon Ramsey. That, like, I was trying to find, like, Gordon Ramsey nudes. Him like, yeah, nudes, like, trying to, like, you know, the deep, before deep fakes. What did they call it? Just Photoshop. But, like, just Photoshop, right? Things like that and just weird. I bet he's toe up.

I bet he's toe up with the hot. bro. See, that's... I was hoping there was some type of something, but of course there was just fake shit, and then there was him changing in like a real show. I don't know what show it was, but he had...

Dude has zero ass. I was like, that's disappointing, bro. I was like, you can't... You can't fucking have that type of swag. But you think with all the butter and shit that he's probably eating and stuff, you probably get something. Get a little something.

There's nothing. I was like, I was like, what fucking Brits, man? You guys got to get it together. Yeah. You guys have to get together, man. I love hearing the discourse between British people. They're like, oh, Americans are so stupid.

It's like, we're so stupid. But you guys don't contribute to the modern world. All you guys did was make us. Y'all just made us and now we're just better than you. We're like a rogue AI or something. Like, it was the last thing that they did. I got it, I got admit, they got really good black actors. They're kind of running the scene for black actors now.

name three John Boyega Idris Alba okay it was the third one wait there's one more I could do this I can do this oh Daniel Kalua

Daniel Kalua easily Daniel Kalua okay okay I thought he's from America I forgot I thought he's he's too black to be American and not that I fucking I'm laughing because I knew there was you were gonna say those two and I was like name three

I got three I got three quick though it took you a second No there was a bit of a divid because I wanted Someone, someone please edit that, so it just cuts off before he answers. He goes, I want that clip to be like, there's one more, and then it just, and it cuts. There's one more than it like fades. He never figured out the last one.

I don't know. They're pretty good. They got some pretty good singers over there, too, I admit. They got some good singers. They definitely, but let's be fair, though. Let's be fair to us, the only reason that they're phenomenal is because they shed their accent when they sing an American. Yeah. Like, they shed their

accent. That's the only reason they're good. It's so, it's so sad, but it's so true. I don't like that either. I would say one of the most damning fucking examples is original cold play versus cold play that's like really famous now. Yeah. If you listen to their first song like, look up the stars. Sorry for you. Oh, Mike. I was like, what the fuck is this

bullshit? Oh, I went called you trouble. I was like, this is fucking terrible. It's bad. It's bad, yeah. And then he just turned into American Viva or something where he's just like, I rule the world. And I'm like, this niggas, he's fucking American now. And then they played the Super Bowl. Like, there's no coincidence. No fucking coincidence. So fucking funny. Like Lily Allen, Lily Allen's the only person that I can think of that, like retains it and is still popular. But like that's like, that's a while ago. Like, I can't remember the last time I heard about Lily Allen. You know what's insane? But Bowie, too, but.

I would even argue like a little he sounded British he 100s that sound of British and not like that though not like not like not like a fucking mad hatter character no but he did sound British I would like I wouldn't confuse him for not British like Leona Lewis I would never think she's British I had no idea I was never in your life think Amy Winehouse is British at all when I found out Leona Lewis was British I I used to crush her on her hard. You like the less. Same. Same. I like their life. She's gorgeous, but I was like, she's so fucking beautiful. But I was like, you know what it is? It's the deceit. It's the deceit implicit in pretending not to be British. That's like, you know what you're worse? Because if you're, because if you're just British, if you're just British and like, like that's it and you own it, it's like most people like, like David Bowie, like for example, it's like he, he didn't have the thickest accent, but he was also clearly British. Everybody loved him. Right. Right. Right. There's a lot of people like that.

But like if you find out that someone's British, it's like a, it's like docking points off of like. It's like seven out of ten too much water. Did you imagine you're sleeping with your wife of four years, you know? You guys are going at it. All of a sudden she says, oh,

go blow me. You guys have two kids already. Yeah. You're like, what? It's, I'm definitely visiting the lawyer the next day. She's like,

oh, yeah, I was born in London. But I lived in America for like 30 years. years. It's like, I don't want that. Because what does it say about you? You know what I mean? Like, what does it say about the person that they were willing to hide that from you for so long? You never told me? You never told me? Yeah. It's like, yeah, I grew, like, I told you I grew up in Seattle. It's like, you did, but you don't, you're not from there. Can you imagine me found out, you're an originate there? Can you imagine

if you found out fucking Santana was British or something? That'd be like, fucking insane. You'd be like, you'll reply by J-Women. What the fuck? No. Bam. He made that show. I was eating beans and toast. Did you imagine that?

He made that. Yo, I, oh, no. I would cry. He's like my favorite modern guitar. He's like my sword and chiot. My missionary in a foreign field. He's my favorite modern guitar.

He's my fucking stare. No one would listen to that. Are you kidding? Get the fuck out of here, cold play. Oh, man. When people found out MF Doom was British, everybody was like, what the fuck? He's good. He's a good rapper.

How was he British? I didn't know that. Go ahead. As a baby. Right. Exactly. And see, that's okay. Just like, uh, uh, um, um, 21 Savage.

Like, it's okay. What happens is every caribbean, every black Caribbean. Yeah, pit bull, too. You have a ton of family in London. Excuse me? What did you say, Chris? You ever heard pit bull speaking like in a, in an actual conversation? Stop. Stop. That's not true.

I hate to break it to you, man. I hate to. I really. Chris. I've been. Look up pit bull private conversation in 2010, I think. Chris. I'm not even kidding. Chris, I'm not kidding. I've listened to Pitbull. You guys are going to think I'm crazy because I'm one of the four people on the planet that listen to his mixtapes.

I've been a fan of his is like 05. And that's because my cousins are Puerto Rican. So they would come in and they'd be like, yo, this is Mr. this nigger's mad he and I'm like stop saying nigger to me and they're just saying it to my face like hard and I'm like you guys can't really say that but like whatever so I listen to a bunch of his mixtapes and he is he's a Floridian yeah that's that is that is the image I agree but unfortunately unfortunately there is private conferences private audio I think from like France or something I don't remember where the fight it was like some weird interview you know what it is it's like that it's like that private uh that private uh that private audio of Gilbert Godfrey speaking like a normal person. Have you ever heard that? That is real because that's not that's not his voice.

Like it just, it can't be. It can't be. You're just a non-believer, that's why. So you're like, oh, I can't be in the voice. Nothing sounds like. I don't even believe certain people like a, like a jaw rule. I'm like, there's, how do you have that much distortion just talking? What the fuck is that?

You just did, I'm like, come up, bro. They take the moon. Let my guise upon the stars. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry to all the British people listening. No, I'm not sorry at all. I'm fucking sick of them.

I'm sick of them, right? Harassing the people. You can be sorry if you want. I'm Jamaican. I hate you guys. I hate all of y'all. Y'all are the worst. Except for my sister,

Averill, you're nice. But every other ones I'm not related to me. Y'all suck. Black, the British sister named Aver. Aver. That's crazy. What hell is that? Avro Marie.

That's her name. I didn't name her. I didn't name her. French and Hispanic. Did you say Avril Marie? Yes. She is a fucking, what? So, we got Caribbean.

I did not name her. We got British. We got French. We got fucking Hispanic because Marie's like all fucking. You just docked. By the way, you just docks the hell out of this woman. There's no way there's multiple. There's way there's no way there's multiple black averils.

In London. Look, look, look, look. I kid you not. She was like where I'm from, there are so many people with the same last name. Oh, they're all named Avril. They're all named Avril. She's from Jamaica land. Yeah, they're all named Avril.

Hey, why do you have to go and make things so complicated? I see you the radio. She was a skater boy. We're going to see you later, boy. Him won good enough for her. We should do that We should make a pot- A Pot-Twas

Skater Boy cover Oh my God That is so funny As a concept Me gone See you later Oh fuck So stupid

That's so damn dumb That's so damn dumb Oh my god Anyway It needs to be more patois covers, bro. We need to start doing that. That's a funny. That's heat, man.

I like that. That's the next chapter of gay covers. We should make pottois covers and we should make Spanish covers, but literal Spanish covers where there's no rhymes. We just say the words in Spanish. The English, the English. He just translated. English translated.

We'll get better out our Spanish. We'll bust up our Spanish while we're doing it too, and we'll offend so many people. That would be good, honestly. We'll use only the most disrespectful versions of the words. We'll scan each Spanish language for the most disrespectful word to the most people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then they'll use that one.

No, Ustead, anywhere. No, there's no edises, just a bunch of fucking Nosotroses. It's a bunch of horrible. We'll pull them all on an EP and we'll call it Ustead is dead. There you go. But, uh, Ustead is dead. We'll be burning a Spanish flag.

The flag of Spain. Yeah, I think, I don't know, man. I think we've got a good future ahead of us if we, if we, if we, if we, if we, uh, if we hammer that home. We can really do it, man. We'll give, we'll give, like, you know, it could be, we could, what other people? What if he was doing that? I don't know, yeah. Imagine, imagine, uh, imagine, uh, because we know, uh, we could contribute, we could make a song and, and Ron DeSantis can use it for his, uh, his presidential campaign that he announced that he announced that he ended.

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I don't like, I pretty much don't like anybody running for president, to be honest, like implicitly. Of course. Like the second they run for president, I'm immediately like, I don't trust you at all. But Trump is going to steamroll this fucking guy. This guy is the least charismatic person I've ever fucking seen in my entire. He sounds like, have you ever seen, you know the rat, Kingston might know. Do you know the rabbi from Seinfeld?

Yes, of course. He sounds like that guy. Like it's crazy. No, he does not. Like he sounds like, if you listen to Rhonda Santa speak, he's like, ah, hello, I noticed. It's like really fucking weird the way he speaks. It's like monotone.

He's got, and that he called, he called his. wife mommy that doesn't help but like it's i don't know man that was fucking that was fucking embarrassing what do you think is his strategy because from where we're i feel like where everybody's sitting he doesn't have a chance in hell you think it's just a cash grab what do you think i don't know i think he's i think there's a lot of people who support him you can do it i think if he comes up the water big in it like if he really play if he really plays hard basketball well he's doing it way harder than Trump, that's for sure. But that's the thing, right? The thing is that people want to hear that. I said to say, what people want to hear that shit. So if you really come out the water,

like, you know, they-thems will be they gone. Yeah, you know, what has to be done is, you know, when Trump was like, oh, they're not, Mexico's not bringing their best people, their murderers and rapist and shit. DeSantis should be like, I, I understand. he was talking about illegal immigrants. No, I'm talking about all them niggas. They're all, like, he just goes hard and says every single Mexican across the border is a rapist

piece of shit. And I will personally shoot them all in the face. Let's be real. Like, we're kidding right now, right? We're joking. That would win a presidency actually no joke. I think so, bro. That would 100%

to sue were the president. They would get arrested for saying that and they'd get disqualified. But they would get the most votes. No, but the thing is running the fucking world from a, from a goddamn jail cell. Like some sort of fash and a furious villain? No, it's fucking, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, he's governing from inside jail. How's he doing this?

I forgot about that fucking movie. The movie was intense, bro. I'm not erroneically really like that movie. That movie's, like, really fun. Who's the protagonist? I don't remember. It's Jamie Fox. It's Jamie Fox and Gerard Butler.

Okay, okay. Yeah. Jimmy Fox got maybe like a few days left in him. He's in bad shape, man. Is he? What? He suffered, no, dead series, suffered a heart attack. He's been hospitalized for like a month now.

Are you for real? Oh my God. Dead ass serious. I didn't know that. He did he, Fox? What? I knew that he was in the hospital for something. I didn't know it was a heart attack.

I think it was heart attack or a stroke or something. And he's been in the hospital for a while. Bro, that's serious. Unless he very recently got released. Bro, I was just watching fucking him do impressions. That's like literally two days ago. Just watching him do like fucking a Shannon shark. But when you realize how old he is, Jamie Fox is not young at all.

He's in unbelievable shape for his age. He's 55. He's like he looks better than everyone else does in that age group. Like actually. 55 is not that old at all really. These do a matter. Look at everyone else when they hit their 50s physically compared to him. him. I mean, Tom Cruise is another person who looks who looks basically insane.

Well, nowadays, man, if you have money, all these motherfuckings are looking phenomenal. Tom looks old. Dude, I was watching a video. Tom Cruise is in his 20s before I was born. That's insane. I thought he was like 35 when I was like, when I was like 10. Tom Cruise still looks like. He's like 60 now, dude. Tom Cruise looks good in the movies. When you see him outside of it, he's starting to look like a soccer mom lesbian. Like, it's kind of like seriously, there's a picture that I shared of him. And I was like, oh. I legit thought it was He's always looked like

fucking Tig Natarro to me. Like, Tom Cruise. He always looked like a lesbian. There's a picture of him with Vin Diesel for promotion of Fast X. And I legitimately, first take, I thought it was like

Vin Diesel's mom or something. I'm not even joking. Like, not even as a joke. I was like, oh, shit. Have you seen Vin Diesel? He looks, Vin Diesel has the silliest face on a human I've ever seen in my life, bro. What? Because like, what, okay, so he's like black and something. No, he's not. He's ambiguous.

He has a black parent. He's ambiguous. He's an adopted parent. No, no, I don't think that's correct. I think he's an adopted. I think he's adopted dad to black man. I don't get him. Where are you getting that? He's actually a black man. I think he's a black dude. Francis? I think he's actually. Francis is a black dude.

Hold on. You mean Francis? From the fastest of theory is the fast of the Francis? The fast of the Francis. Who are you talking about? The fast and the. That's his name. His name is Francis.

That's his last name. His first name is Fast. No, his real name is Francis. His real name is Francis. His full name is Fast, Francis. No, his name is. It's Francis, isn't it? A Vineyard Dazzolus.

That's so dumb. That's so stupid. He's a real name. He's a real name. His name's in California. His name's Mark Sinclair. Yes, Mark. Yeah, it is Mark.

Sinclair, I remember that. There was someone famous named Frans that I stopped respecting them immediately. I don't know. That was the most ready. Adopted African American father. Yeah, adopted African American father. I don't know what he is, though. Will Smith's real name is Francis.

His mother. So who the fuck's his dad? He doesn't go. So he left. So, so he is black. So he might be very well be blacks. Imagine that's all it took. If that's all it.

took. Abandoning? If you leave, you abandon. You gain the power of blackness. That actually, because it was stalled upon you, like a lightning bolt.

But it happens randomly. So, like, you can be, like, at school in second grade, and then you're, like, doing something, like,

you get struck by lightning, and they're like, uh-oh. I've been watching, I'm watching, I'm watching a static shock recently. Uh, and I'm actually surprised

at how fucking hard that show goes. it's a great show that shows are really really good and it's like a kid's cartoon and they're talking like the for the pilot episode it's like you can't join that fucking gang they're the fucking gangb they'll kill you and I'm like what the fuck is this why I said this is on WB that's crazy that's insane that's back when cartoons taught you story taught you things other than emotions yeah remember even in our justice you now was just like emotions like oh you it's okay to be sad or gay and back then it was just like, it's okay to like, you know, massaging is kind of weird.

Yeah, it's okay to not join a gang. It's actually really probably best to not. The fact, much better for you. You'll get superpowers. Don't worry. If you don't join this gang, you'll get superpowers. But if you hang out with that, no, don't join the gang, but hang around them enough to get power.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I'd do it. What else? What else? what else happened? I did end up seeing Gardens of the Galaxy.

I actually thought it was really good. Yeah. I actually did a good job. I liked it a lot. Yeah, I thought it was fucking way better than I thought it was going to be. I was like, oh, man, because I'm thinking like, it's an MCU movie, and I fucking hate these. And most of them are really not good. The MCU needs to take a break.

I like what this guy does, the director. Yeah, he's a good director. And I feel like he gives you shit, unlike the, like, I feel like, every. The problem is it's like there's a lot of, because Tycho Matiti clearly doesn't care about Thor at all. And like there's, there's always like, I hate when there's always these like, the stakes of these movies are always like if this doesn't, it's weird to me that Guardians of the Galaxy has a more grounded theme than the most recent Spider-Man movie.

Like that's kind of crazy to me. What's supposed to? The threat of Spider-Man was all of reality will unravel and the, you know, universe will collapse and gardens of the galaxy is my friend is dying let's save our fucking yeah it's it's it's it's so weird oh no i know what i know what you mean sorry yeah i get it yes that's yeah yeah it should it should be the opposite it should be the opposite yeah but the guardians the guardians from the comics are like they like they handle big shit that's why and spider man because of the nature of spider man being spider man unfortunately in the modern time he can't just like

stick to stop people to robbing from robbing bodegas or like stopping like armed criminals. He's got to be like, oh, I'm going to go to space. The fact that he went to space at 17 years old is stupid as shit. That is dumb. That is so dumb. It is really stupid. Yeah, I don't know.

He was, and he was bragging about it to everybody else. And it's like, yeah. This is dumbest. It was no. But yeah, I was sitting there in the theater. I was like, I'm actually like enjoying this. Like, and I'm actually like, invested and like the villain's such a dick.

Granted, it is like a, it is a little bit of a cheat code there when you have like animal cruelty is like such an easy. It's, it is really an easy way to get you to hate a character. And like by the, by like the midpoint of that movie, I was like, yo, I actually hate this guy. Like I fucking, I hate this character. It was a dick. You're right. You're definitely right about it being like a cheat code, but it was warranted because of the story.

Because like imagine if like Thanos just randomly start beating this shit out of Savannah. Instead of him whipping dogs. Like, like, what's going on? I'm like, yo, why is he, why are they on his purview? Like, why does he care about dogs? He puts a dog in an idea bag and dashes it against the fucking Ford Focus 50. Like, do you know what Thor did to Loki in the first Avengers? He starts fucking slamming dogs.

Bags full of dogs. He goes to space. It's giant bags puts a bunch of dogs in a bag and it starts slamming them all off the floor. Yeah, I, I don't know. What the fuck, dude?

It was, uh, yeah, I liked it a lot. Yeah, worked super well for me. It felt like a, I was just gonna say that you can, I was just gonna say it actually felt like a movie to me. Like that wasn't like about, like it wasn't like a chapter in like, you know, like a bigger like fucking,

oh, this ties into this. You know, I was like, oh shit, this is good. Dope. Oh, no, it was, it was what movies are supposed to be, you know? Yeah. I think the only thing I was worried about it, um, spoilers. Yeah, whatever.

I haven't seen it yet. If you fucking, if you care about it, you would have seen it already. But like, I feel like it was a, what's his name? Was it Adam Warlock? Warlock. I, that was the only thing where I'm like, what a waste. What a fucking waste of an arc, I guess, in my opinion. They did what they did with drags to him, you know?

Oh yeah that yeah that's very true that is actually a very good point You've read you you've read comics Yeah, so he's a demon The first guardian I was the I was I was so fucking disap I was disgusted at first I was like he's a pussy like he's literally He like you know he is he's he is designed to Kill than destroy and destroy like he's going to murder Thanos right And he's he can't even he literally couldn't even scratch

fucking Ronan. That broke my heart, bro. And I would, because I just before that, I started getting in a gardens of comics. And in a comic, he won. He solos an army of annihilation. Gets the Thanos rips his heart out. And that comic, he got beat up by Rodan the accuser. And I was like, yo, Ronin sucks.

Yeah. He was like the worst of all the fucking, um, the, uh, Infinity Watch. What are they called? No, they're called something else. The scroll or the Cree. What are those niggas? No, not the, they're a part of that stupid cosmic group. It was Silver Surfer, Beta Bill, Beta, Beta, Beta, Baytors?

Beta Mail Ray. Beta Mail Ray. That's Chris. If that's Beta Mail Ray. Beta Ray Bill. If someone made a hit piece towards you, that's the best thing to use. The annihilators. The annihilators.

The annihilators. It's a Poizar, Beto Mal Ray. That's so funny Ronan and Oh and then No, Silver Surfer It was them four niggas

And like out of all them Four niggas I feel like Ronan is the weakest Pussy Ronan got a hammer Rodan got a hammer That's less cool than Thor's Yeah

That's all they got Yeah So yeah So yeah But you see But yeah They completely nerfed them For

I thought that was pretty Fucked up But yeah They obviously Nurfed them Because really The Guardians would have been absolutely obliterated by

by what's the everybody what the actor's name what's that niggas name the the um like he looks like sin yeah I forgot his name I forgot his name but he would have his character

he would have um is it Matt Potts or something like that something he was uh he was the joker wouldn't he in that um no that was the guy that played Calcasis in Star Wars oh really the fuck are we talking they're the same people I don't know that's not that

oh he did Pennywise he did Pennywise he did Pennywise He did Pennywise. He did Pennywise. Scarsgard? He was the new Pennywise, right? No, that was a Scarsguard. Yeah, that's a Scarsguard. What was the Scarsguard? The actor, Bill Scarsguard or something.

Oh, my God. I'm getting confused. I don't want to say this, but all the white genders with the saying to me, I'm sorry. This will Porter, there you go. Oh, Will Porter, yeah, yeah. That doesn't even sound familiar to me. Wait a minute. How many how many.

His brain is going through it. Derek is experiencing dementia all at once. I feel like my brain is deteriorating, so I got to, like, you know, do stuff before I... Would you got... Should I still... What if I lost all my memory? Should I still do it? Like in the middle of the podcast?

You just like... I'd be so fucking... I'd be laughing at you, but I'd feel so bad inside for laughing. I'd be so upset. I would laugh my ass off at you. I would laugh my ass off at you, but I would cry afterwards. I'd just saw a... man, forget everything.

I'd be so fucking upset. I'd be so upset because he's the guy who has to stop the recording, and there's no one he remembers how to do that. Oh, right. So we would lose the episode, and it would be, like, the worst episode to lose, because it's, like, it's... That's hilarious.

It is. It'd be good. That would blow up the podcast. Listen, listen, join our Patreon now. We're going to keep this exclusive to the Patreon for months, the episode where Derek lost his memory, mid-episode and it's for real and we have the rest of the episodes leading up to this

is like restart it's like a reboot we got to teach him how to be Derek again dude that's what makes it funny is that this is such a small part of it because you're in your house with your wife and people you live with you got a whole you have a whole

great canyon to climb out of after you just lost all your memories and I'm here laughing at you like it's funny even though your life is over as you know it That must be so fucking terrifying But I guess maybe not terrifying for me Because I don't, I'm not self-aware I just I'm just like

You're just like, yo, who are you guys? Like, yeah, what the fuck's going on here? Please lay everything down for me. Why am I here? Why? Why is my pants off? Like, tell me like all these things. I would just make, I wouldn't make you think you were a game, bro.

I would so have a, I'm like, yo, you're a gay man. You're a gay man. And then you know, you're speaking of gay. Did you see that picture of Matt Walsh? You got to clip that. I got to clip that. You know guys know Matt Walsh is, right? Of course, no Matt Walsh is. There is a picture of him, quote unquote, fishing.

He's not fishing. He's wearing boots that are unlaced in a weird fucking fashionable way. He's wearing skinny jeans. He's wearing like a like powder blue or something. His tackle box is virtually empty. There's like a couple of items in it, which I've never seen. I've literally, I've gone fishing dozens of time with my mom and other family members, and motherfuckers tackle boxes are crusty and old and filled with a bunch of useless shit. This guy is like pre-tees, he's larping as a straight man, but can't help himself.

His beards died. His hair cut is gay. Like, it's one of the gayest fucking photo ops I've ever seen. He's larping as a stray man. And he's doing such a bad job. He's doing such a bad job at him. Like, bro, wear the fucking lumberjack fucking button up. Look a little filthy and unwashed.

If you're trying to look manly, right, quote unquote manly, put some shit in your tackle box, maybe have a fish to pose with or something. It's bad. Did you see the, have you ever seen a photo of him without his beard? Yes. It is rough out there, man. Like, my, I have a theory. I have, and I've had this theory for a long time that, like, most people. that I've seen with beards

look fucking they need them like and it makes sense because like whenever my hair grows in I hate it like it's like and it's not it's not because it's patchy it's because it's like annoying and like the idea of like maintaining that like you have to

really be committed to maintaining a beard and the only reason that you would ever want to do that has to be like you've got a fuck chin man because like Matt Walsh looks like a fucking, like a rubber chicken. I can't believe what's under that fucking beard.

And it's hilarious because his beard looks like a fucking, like a woolly-willy. It looks so fucking fake. Like he's like he got it. It looks so stupid. It's like he peppers. That is so disrespectful. Lemon pepper or something. It's the weirdest fucking beard I've ever seen.

His beard looks like a, his beard looks like a wooie. It does. It does not look real. A Willie Willie. It makes so much sense that when you see him and see like this photo that just dropped a, it was posted by there's a person that, um, uh, their name Brett something. It's basically the female Ben Shapiro. And, and, and interesting enough, the reason it is, it's funny that we're talking about beards. Um, my theory about, because Ben Shapiro grew up his beard recently and it looks terrible.

It looks like, uh, it was really bad. It looks really bad as a, when you, when you. When you have a shitty graphics card like me and you need to put your settings to low and the texture just looks fucking like ass. That's what his beard looks like. It's terrible. And I theorize it looks so bad,

but the only reason I feel like he's keeping it is so we can separate himself from that Brett. I forgot the last name, but it's female Shapiro on the daily wire to separate himself because everybody was saying that's literally just Ben Shapiro, like female Ben Shapiro. So we tried to like be a little.

little bit more masculine, but it looks way worse. It looks like Homer Simpson's fucking goatee, dude. It does not look good. That's fucking mean. It just not look good on him. It's not good. Like, you got to pick your battles. You got to pick your battles, right?

Like, Ben Shapiro doesn't need a beard. Like, he's fine. No, not at all. Just exist. Not at all. Just do whatever you do as Ben Shapiro. This looks so much worse. And it comes across as him trying to, like, compete with Matt Walsh or like these other, like,

these generic bearded conservatives that they all look the fucking thing. Let's say hypothetically. Let's say hypothetically, I had a beard. Let's say hypothetically my beard looked like I just ate out a shitting baby. Let's say hypothetically I... Like, he looks fucking horrible. That is so mean. That is so not nice, yo.

It's bad, man. Let's just say... What? Oh, my fucking baby is crying and shit. What a fucking groomer. What a fucking thing to say. Holy shit, dude. Anyway, I look like.

Oh, man. Anyway, speaking of Spider-Man. Because we mentioned Spider-Man 50 minutes ago. I was about to say, I was like, what are we talking about the Spider-Bet? Oh, God. So they showed, there was a whole PlayStation showcase. Was it yesterday? Yeah, it was yesterday?

It was yesterday. It was yesterday on the day that we're recording this. It's going to be a couple, it's going to be probably like a couple days old by the time you hear about it. But really the only thing they showed anything of was Spider-Man. and it looks pretty dope But It looks really cool Yeah

It looks pretty fucking solid I just Man Like I don't know what the fuck They were thinking With that showcase It's like a really baffling It's really confusing

It was this It was severely underwhelming Like they had that like that That over the shoulder samurai game That does look sick as fuck It doesn't really cool Phantom Blade Zero or whatever the fuck Where it's like dodging and stabbing and kicking and shit

Is there another one of those? Like what is the There's like three There's like, so there's like Neo that exists That is that a series? No no no it's no no This is kind of the problem with it It's like it does look cool

But it also looks like 15 other things There's Rise of the Ronin Which is like a new thing coming out I think in like next year Which looks you know It's a Japanese samurai kind of sword thing That one has gun Bloodborne style gun stuff going on

I don't know what the fuck's But it looks like that. There's Gostushima. There's fucking, you know, Sekiro Neo, fucking, like there's a lot of these Tertiomi,

I think. There's a fucking pattern. Well, Phantom Blade is, this Chinese. There's some Chinese aesthetic differences. Sure.

Yeah. He was using a doubt. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know. I wasn't paying me. I gotta be real. I'm very ignorant.

But it looks cool. It looks cool. It looks fucking dope. It was, it was the standout thing, like to me, like the newest thing. thing that stood out to me because like there's just not

a lot of gameplay there. Like, and all the gameplay that they showed, all the gameplay that they showed was like, for like, I don't know, Genshin Impact clones and and just like all this like fucking Japanese. Like I don't care about Final Fantasy. I'm sorry. Belshire. Final Fantasy looks cool, but like also.

It looks better than 15. At the same. 16, 16 is being directed. The combat director is Devon May Cry Fire Sarmid director. We all know that shit's going to go up. It's going to at least be a fun game to play. How do you feel about all these niggas being all British and shit, though.

You know, you know. I'll be real, kind of, kind of turned me off a little bit. You know what? He's got a dog, you know,

so like, I'm with it. The main character has a dog. That's redemption. I can deal with it, you know. Honestly, any game with a dog?

There's a lot of fantasy. There's a lot of fantasy games that I see, like, because there's a lot of final fantasy games that take, obviously like, Final Fantasy seven is like different. It's like a little bit more like steampunk industrial type shit going on.

But there's a lot of Final Fantasy games that do take place in like castles and shit. Most of them do. The originals at least. Yeah. And it was kind of always jarring to me that they weren't British. Because like I just associate. I just associate or like at least like. Yeah.

Or at least like used to it. Yeah. I mean, I guess Skyrim didn't either. So now that it's like being a little bit more like traditional to adjacent. Now I'm like, I'm throwing off. I'm like, what the? These guys are supposed to sound like soft. babies and and the fucking

the girls are supposed to be whining and shit and all cheesy and the sky. That is disgusting. That's a thing. What's up for the dragon. He's fucking stampers off. That's what Final Fantasy sounds like to me by the way. Whatever I fucking hear it is.

But yeah, I mean, that's probably going to be good. I don't know. I'm not going to, I know myself well enough to know that Final Fantasy is just never fucking worked for me. I tried to play six recently and I just like I couldn't fucking stomach. I love that game, but I understand, man. I understand.

I can't do it. I love that game when I was a teenager, so I don't know about now. I must clarify that as well. I love that game a long time ago. Now I'm probably like, I'm going to fall asleep. I guess I felt about snake eater being the first one to be remastered, a remake. Well, okay, I have a lot about, I have a lot of things to say about this one. Snake eater, so I've, this has been a rumor for years.

Like, since I, literally since Colin and I started Sacred Symbols, there were, rumors about a Metal Gear Solid 3 Snake Eater remake. And the trailer they showed was fucking cool, right? Like, it was a really cool. Like, I love the misdirect of like, what is this? Is this a survival game? You know, it starts in the woods and you see Snake. It's like, that's badass.

But then it just stopped and that was it. And for me, I was like, that's cool. But I kind of knew it was coming already because it's been rumored for so long. And also, I don't. don't know. Like, I was excited about it, but I also felt underwhelmed that that's how they did it. Because, like, I would at least like to see, like, what the in-game, like, what the game looked like.

And at least have a date for it, because, dude, again, 2018, there were rumors about this game being in development. And so, like, five years later, to just have, like, a CG teaser trailer and no idea when this thing is going to be done. Or, like,

we don't even know who's working on it. Like, there was, like, a message from development team. And it was just like, what? What is that? Who's working on this fucking thing? Obviously, there's no Kojima. The development team. Maybe they don't need it.

Maybe they don't need Kojima because it's just, like, they're just redoing the game. Like, that's fair. But it makes sense that they're doing Snakey to first because chronologically, that's the first one. And I feel like it's probably... Yeah, so I thought about that, but I was also... Personally, I would have liked if they just released it in the order that they came out. Yeah. I like yeah I I look my favorite one I stay I stiffly me and Christmas

we all the time I think three is the best my guess Holly game but a lot of people agree with you I also felt like it felt such like a hollow like such a hollow way especially the way you know how Kojima is Kojima anything's ever involved in is super pretentious who it's not him anymore I think that's why right it's not him anymore yeah there's no fun yeah there's no there was like there was like there There wasn't enough fun in the announcement, I feel like. Like, it should have been... He'd come outside, he'd be like, hey, and he'd speak English poorly for a while,

then eventually say something involving, what you call it, like, coming out, you know? And it'd be like... Yeah, fucking Norman Rees would come out for no reason at all. No good reason. I almost feel like they should have opened the show with it. You know what I mean? Like, it just, it felt like just... Because they smacked it in this weird spot, like, in between a bunch of weird indie games.

and it was just like, what the... Oh, by the way. Yeah, oh, by the way, this is happening. And then, like, the collections coming, which is... That's dope. That's cool. Yeah. But, fuck, dude, what is going to hide?

What is... Why won't they fucking release twin snakes? Like, why won't they... Like, fucking... Oh, that's the one and two one, right? That's the one and two release. Well, that was the fucking GameCube version of Metal Gear Solid. And, like, it was basically, like, a kind of remastered and with a little bit of extra in it.

And, like, I can't get it. get that fucking thing anywhere. And so they're releasing the games, but like, you're probably just going to get Metal Gear Solid with a little polished, but not fucking Twin Snakes. I want to play fucking Twin Snakes.

Like, I don't know. Like, what's the problem? I don't know. If anybody knows about that. If it's a remaster, I've heard of Twin Snakes,

I never played it. I played it just, I played as Metal Gear Solid. I played one. But we're just going to be a remaster. It's going to be good, very likely. It's going to be very good,

probably. Yeah. When it's a, it's going to be. remastered like retouched like they did with Final Fantasy 7 and 8 and all that shit it's gonna be slight I wouldn't aren't they aren't they

no sorry I thought it was a remake my apologies no no no that's probably gonna this is what in 10 years or something now yeah the new the new the collection is gonna be just like the original game probably like uprest sorry sorry I thought you were talking about snake eater I mean that's a remake isn't it

Snake eater is a remake is a twin snakes twin snakes is new ones yeah I get it out yeah so so it's middle gissol which yeah yeah but they might, I mean, like, it's weird to me, the weirder thing is that, and to be fair, it is like the Middle Gear Collection volume one, so maybe volume two will alleviate that. Maybe that'll be like Peace Walker, four and maybe five, I don't know. Um, but it's weird that four is still not. Like, four has been stranded on the PlayStation 3 for fucking ever. Yeah, it's crazy. I hate that

game personally, but like it's weird to me that it's just like sitting there. I gotta tell you Old Snake infuriated me. It's really horrible. I hate that my back would get fucking all fucked up and you had to like put your stress out. That fucking shit pissed me off. I mean, I get that part. The things that

old snake. Those those gameplay quirks that I fucking can't stand in four that I just like I couldn't play like, oh you're back. That started and it's kind of the reason I don't love three as much as a lot of people do. It's like that shit started in three. Like, you got to feed yourself.

You got to, like, and I get it. You don't get back angst, though. It's not the same, but I know what you mean. But that's, but that idea, like, those ideas, like the whole, like, oh, survival element of like, oh, you got to, you got to nourish yourself. You got to, like, paint your face very specific ways to stick. I love you. You got to go kill an alligator. The alligator's in the water.

It's in a water. It's going to water. I think it's cool. And then you get a real gun and you're like, I'm going to kill that nigga. I think it's, I think it's cool. I just think, I don't know, two to me is like. just pure metal yourself like there's no like there's no

fucking bullshit in it and that's what I love about it like there's no there's no like weird like oh you got a you got a feet you got to come every 10 minutes no you gotta listen to a bitch no you got to listen to somebody that makes you

do the opposite of come every time the fucking thing goes on really so David I'm so sad I'm just like yo shut the fuck up right it's so funny shut up riding I like it a lot

I get it Like I get it He's a great character He's actually fucking amazing in four He is a beast in four But he's just so Pussy bro But he's not

That's what makes me so angry I was like you're like a living weapon You're like better than solid snake Shut up and just kill people We get it It sucks Do it just do it He's like I don't know David

maybe maybe maybe I should just edge myself till I fall asleep and it's like no right kill

kill liquidis or solidus right with solidus solidus solidus yeah kill him I don't know mentally soliditude

is just like that's the first game that really blew my fucking that game blew my mind in like a crazy way like I couldn't you and my friend three was just cool

yeah three was cool I never got into it like a lot of people did because of elements like kind of what you were talking about too i was just kind of not in the right mindset to really deal with that shit yeah uh which happens every once in a while um but like one i've just been waiting for because it really what started at all because nobody played the

fucking nintendo one no one fucking played that shit we know one person i know one person i did yeah jameson jameson our friend jameson the only person the only person who played the original metal gear and metal gear too and that's crazy and understood they were connected Because I thought Metal Gear was Metal Slug When I was younger I was like oh that's the other Metal Slug game I paid zero attention to it It didn't appeal

I was like I don't know what that is I don't care And it literally didn't I didn't even make the connection I feel until somebody actually brought it up And I'm like oh shit Maybe I should see what that's all about See what the story is

And then see how that reflects on a metal Yeah solid because I was always under the impression that Well this is this is a new fucking franchise Like when I play it And I was this was They consumed me man I thought this was the coolest shit, the little, oh, the confused psychomantus, you got to unplug it. I thought that was the coolest fucking shit ever.

Or he kind of knew what was on your fucking save, uh, your memory card and shit. You've been watching a ton of hentai. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, that's what they should do now with like, if they put it on like fucking. They put it on like steam or some shit and then it just knows all your fucking search history. It just goes through all your really invasive shit and just shows like, oh, you've been a, you've been a, you, uh, the fooda. Like you, you, you really like that.

shit, huh, nigga? You've been watching a part of food of porn, aren't you? You particularly, like, what's Sandy Cheeks Footenari porn? You're just like, Sandy, uh, uh, SpongeBob's. How do you know?

How do you know? Sandy Cheeks, fooda. Holy shit. I mean, I, of course it exists, but I'd never. There was, unfortunately, there was one time on Twitter was everywhere.

There was a picture of Sandy cheeks. I remember this. I remember this. Pinas sucking up cars into her dick. What? I was just like, what the fuck is this? I knew the second you brought her up that that, that, how sad is it? I got it.

When you said Sandy Cheeks, the first thing that came to my mind wasn't the character from the show. It was that drawing of her with a giant dick sucking cars up like a vacuum. That, that image is so crazy. Not the years of SpongeBob. Not the years of SpongeBob you watched growing up. Not the decades, literally decades of SpongeBob. Yeah.

instantly Sandy Cheeks vacuum-dicking a city. And she's giant and she's huge, yeah. It's ridiculous. And she's sucking up those cars. See, if they showed that picture during the PlayStation showcase, it would have been a lot better. Just a quick flash of Sandy Cheeks with a big dick sucking cars up. That would have been... I just wish more people just went bug about, like, just started misbehaving more in, like, ways where it's like, this is a,

This is an award show, right? And you always have a certain kind of etiquette. But what if he did it? Award show? What if you just went out there and it said some wild shit or did something crazy? Not like what are these like structural. Oh, that's very funny for the higher brow. Like, no, some fucking wild shit.

Yeah. Well, it's not, it's different than E3. Like, it's not like presenters going up. It's just like a, it's just like a highlight reel, basically of a bunch of stuff. But like to me, to me, to me the weirdest. The weirdest thing to me is that like, so they didn't do they haven't done a showcase since like

2021 right so like the assumption is like when they do a showcase it's going to be a lot of like first part you're going to see what you're going to see like maybe a teaser of what I don't know the god of war team might be working on you know or you're going to see a teaser of like maybe even like you'll see Spider-Man

but maybe you'll even see like a little bit more information about Wolverine maybe you'll see that fucking last of us multiplayer thing none of that was really there except for Spider-Man and it's just a bunch of these like I think Xbox even tweeted out like a really fucking, a pretty cheeky little thing where they were like,

oh, it's a good group of games. And it's all the stuff that they showed at the showcase. And it's also coming to the, like, even Metal Gear Solid, which is like kind of Xbox, yeah, a little jab. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, Marathon also. And like Sony owns them. And it's like it's, it's, it was just weird, man.

Like it shouldn't, it didn't need to be a showcase, really. It could have been like a state of play. Or just like, They could have just announced these things, like, separately. Like, and it would have been just as fine. Or, like, for Summer Games Fest or something, because, you know, that's coming up, and there's going to be a lot of fucking trailers and shit. I know Mortal Kombat's going to have its own event.

I know, destiny's going to have its own event. It's, I don't know. Just weird. Like, I only cared about it in the last five minutes, ten minutes, maybe, with Spider-Man. And Man and Marathon. Those are the only things I really cared about. It wasn't quite, it wasn't dope. We saw Cade.

Cade's back. That's amazing. Yeah, I have questions about that. But yeah, I'm, yeah, I mean, seeing Bungy there at all was fucking crazy with something different. I couldn't believe that. Yeah, Marathon looks like it might be cool, man. Looks like it might be a cool game. I don't really know if I've ever played an extraction shooter.

It's too early. It's too early to really get a sense. Like, if your average person is not, your average person is not going to get a sense of what Marathon is. But Marathon, seeing that name again and that logo again is so fucking cool. because Marathon is is old bungee that's like 1994 that was like that was the shooter they worked on before Halo before like anything

and it's so dope it's just like people and like hollowed out asteroids building ships out of them and having limited populations and going to war and like bringing their dead back and like reanimating them with like computer chips to have them fight for each other

it's fucking so cool and uh... I'm glad it's that because like I ins as soon as I was like all these people in suits they don't have magic power hours. There's no green dude. Instantly, if it wasn't literally what Bunchy's been to me, my last 30 years of life,

I was like, oh, there's no master chief. There's no big ass blue assistant. There's no, here's, here's, here's what's going to happen with Marathon and Kingston, right? He's not going to play it for three years. And then you're going to be obsessed with it because it's what happens every time bungee put something out, literally. Not every time. That's true. I mean, kind of, sort of. No, no, I feel I always played.

Yeah, but like it's different. Destiny, I didn't, I played in the beginning, like when everybody did, and it was balls. And then I got it. Then pre-COVID, like a few months before COVID, we started playing it again in a world shut down. Yeah. So, yes, I played a lot of destiny. That was the only game that was being made at that time. Nothing else was being created.

Yeah. I think else was stopped. That's a game I'm looking forward to purely because I know that universe and also, I just trust that developer implicitly. It's like if FromSoft were to announce something else, you know what I mean? It's like, yeah, I'm going to check it out. Absolutely, because it's probably going to be, if I, even if it's not something that I end up viving with all that well, I know it's going to be good, you know?

Yeah. So that's my, but like, it's really just Spider-Man and that- Street Fighter. They showed Street Fighter again. I'm like, why are they showing Street Fighter? Yeah, Street Fighter's out in like three days. Yeah, I feel like that was really. Weird. Wasted time.

They showed a trailer for the Grand Tresmo movie. What the fuck is? What do you do? What is this? Street Fighter. Street Fighter comes out in a few days. Are there numbers looking like a little low? So like, God, just try to like.

I don't know that. I think that movie is probably going to be. Yeah. Street Fighter? No way. It's huge. I would imagine that. Online was crazy.

I was playing the damn the beta. It was insane. I mean, I know it's, it's, because it's been fucking. Street Fighter came out in, what, 2015? Five? Or is it 16? 2015. Yeah, like, those fucking forever ago. So it's like, I get it.

The hype for six is going to be massive, but it's just, why did they, why did they even bother that this? That's so fucking weird. February, February 2016, sorry. Like, so, like, tail in 2015, early. Capcom gave him some money. We were like, here, yo, here's this.

There you go, it's a little. Yo, somebody said in, because I tweeted about Dragon's Dogmat, somebody said that they've talked. I had no idea. First of all, I wasn't looking for it. I had no idea that there was even a whisper

that they were making a sequel. I thought it was like, this game probably underperform, but I had a lot of fun playing it. That's just how I felt. About a year ago, they showed some about it. Yeah, yeah.

Dragons. I completely missed it. It was more along the lines of how Marathon was revealed this time, where it was like, it was just sort of like, hey we're working on this but we don't have anything to show

quite yet. Like that's that's because I remember like just seeing kind of like a logo and like the development team they were like hey you know we're thanks for you know loving Dragon's Dogma we're making another one and it was just like kind of like panning through the offices and they put it somewhere out they put on another system and they were like we're going to make another one too

and it's like all right cool that's so. Yeah I completely missed it. I didn't even know that there were people like clamoring for a sequel. I didn't even I thought that was something that I feel like there's certain, there's like other games that could be prioritized over Dragon's

Dogma, you know, a sequel of that. That's why I guess I was a little bit surprised by it. I liked it though. When I played it, I had a lot of fun with it. Yeah, I mean, modern Capcom working on it is, that's pretty fucking, that's pretty, that's pretty fucking cool. Because, you know, Capcom.

Drop the ball in a long, in a hot bit of time. They've just been like on fire. And I think the reason dragons, the new R.E. Engine, man. Because that shit came out, they've been like, yo, let's go, we got it. But I think the original, the reason the, well, the original Dragon's Dogman didn't do as well, I think largely because it came out in the shadow of like Skyrim. But also that was around like kind of like the time of, you know, Capcom wasn't really. Capcom wasn't doing so hot at that point.

Like Capcom back then is where like I feel like, I don't know, Ubisoft is now where it's like what the fuck is going on over. there. Yeah. Like Beyond Good and Evil 2 has been in like development hell for fucking seven years. That game doesn't come out, bro. No. That's wild. They canceled.

They canceled like two splinter cells. Like, uh, the only thing, like, Rainbow Sixth Seas is doing well, I guess, but that's it, really? I don't know, man. Ubisoft is fucking weird. I don't know what's going on with them. I got to say this. And maybe, maybe you guys would disagree with me.

When I saw the trailer to Mirage, dude, I was like, it looks the same. This is, I, I would have rather they just remade the first one because it's basically the first one, but I like the character, Altayir. And so I was like, why not just make it modern and where they don't, if I don't know if you guys remember this, you played the first one, where they had these fucking retards hanging on the docks and just, they would literally shove you if you got too close. They were just, they were literally like, oh, and then they would shove you. And the thing is, you couldn't swim. so if you're on the docks they would shove you to the water and they would kill you

so I'm just like remake the game but change that just that they just get rid of the retard than the dock yeah you're a master assassin and your best

buddy is fucking retard shoving into the water it's so funny because like strategically they're like they'll be throughout the cities right they're all crazy and they're like they're mumbling and saying like really stupid making, you know,

you know what's going on with these guys. You get too close to them, they shove you. And then there's this one mission where you need to be by the docks, and then they strategically put a bunch of a bucket dog. It's so fucking funny. You're having too much fun, dude.

You haven't too much fun. I'm just fucking telling you what these insensitive people did in Assassin's Creed. These insiniscreet. Nice, nice, clean dismount. Clean dismount. Yeah, I don't know, man. Seeing Assassin's Creed, seeing Assassin's Creed there, I just sort of like, I mean, it looks, it looks good, but like I don't care.

You know what I mean? Like, it looks, it looks visually, man. Visually, it looks great. Like, I think it, like, it's pretty. I think the colors look great. I think it, like, it doesn't look bad. It's just like, I, who hasn't experienced this already? That, and I'm like, that exact game, too.

Where I liked when they were trying to, okay, the Viking thing, they haven't done that. They didn't do the Odyssey. A lot of people are going back and playing Odyssey and realizing that this is actually really fun. There's been a lot of, especially I was looking at Steam reviews and stuff and see what people were saying. Yeah, yeah. I wanted to see if they agreed. And yeah, so I didn't like the direction they were going either, where it just felt like almost like a mobile game too. Or there was just all this like, do these things.

And within these time periods And there's this, and I play the game and I got like no armor. Like, I got like nothing. I didn't even, I was like, what the fuck's going on? Where that was kind of like the point of the other games

just like looting shit and get a bunch of stuff. And anyway, I don't know what he's going on. Yeah, Ubisoft is, God, they fucking, they need something, man. They need something that's going to fucking bring them, bring them to the promise land.

Because is this. They're not going to do. I think Ubisoft is done, man. Yeah. I think it's going to be you stay soft because they're done. They're never going to fucking do it again. I think they can't fucking do it. They're fucking out of the fight.

It's fucking, I don't know, man. They look like if there was ever, so obviously the Activision thing is kind of up in the air right now. But if I feel like they're the next people, you know, like they're the next publisher that's going to be like bought up by something or like by some big entity because they're. they're just in fucking shambles, and they have a lot of good... The fact that they have, they're just sitting on fucking Splinter Cell pisses me off

to no end. They canceled a Splinter Cell VR game too. Which is crazy. Because that's like... I don't think modern gamers would like it, Chris. No, well, they're working on a Splinter Cell. It's just like they had one that they can... They're, they canceled a VR one.

They're working on a remake of the first one, which is, you know, that's cool. But I don't... Again, like, who knows if this is even gonna fucking come out at this point? Like they fucking everything that they make. Oh, there's that Skull and Bones game, too. Did you hear, you guys remember this? The, um, the, um, it was the, uh, it was the thing that sort of like Nintoshemran Katana Zero, right?

No, no, no, no, no, not, not at all. Skull and Bones is basically the, the boat part of Assassin's Creed 4, but that's the game. And they've, oh, interesting. So it is still in development. I saw that at E3, 2017. Oh, right, right. Yeah, that's right. Man.

Completely lost on me. I don't give a, I don't give a, look, dude, if Desmond, if Desmond was choking on his own blood and was like, hey, please help me. I would laugh and I'd be like, ha ha, and I'd step on a gun wound. I don't care about a sadist creature. I've never, I only liked Etsio. That was it. Only character for like, that feels pretty cool. That's it.

Every other character from everything about Assassin's Cruz. They made Viking assassins. I was like, that's fucking stupid. Those are dumb as they ever. They had Egyptian assassins. Yeah. That made a little more sense, but this is just dumb. I mean, it's not about to make it sense.

It's just like, it's, you know. They made all the different locations and just three fucking aliens. Yeah, it's fast and furious with assassins. Exactly that. Exactly that. I mean, it never really, it never really made. Like, the first one was really the only one that made, like, some sense. They tried something.

Yeah, and even then it was a clownering. I think the first three were like, all right, this is like just European history. These certain figures are just sort of aliens. And I was like, all right, that's fine. That's insane. And then it's kept going. That is in and of itself. Like, Assassin's Creed 2 and Brotherhood, I love those games. I think they're great. I wouldn't play them again.

Because I just, I don't have the patience for Assassin's Creed in that style anymore, really. Yeah. I'm spent on it. it but yeah like I liked those games made no sense that like oh it's fucking oh here's my friend Leonardo da Vinci and like it's just cool it's fun it's like but it's it's like Jimmy Timmy fucking Power Hour logic where it's like oh you know what a fun little cameo that this is for for this history game of course you're gonna be friends with fucking Leonardo decapreon of Da Vinci

Decaprio Decaprio is there dating only 20 to 4 year olds dude yeah he's dating a 28 year old now let's go bro he broke he broke his rule that she must have had that good good good good good yeah that shit made him

fucking like his eyes came out of his socket he was dancing he wasn't great Gatsby after he was done with it bro getting it he was killing it in great Gatsby bro that was one of my favorite scenes ever I'm not fucking leaving I'm not fucking leaving I did that

see different movies digger I know but like he sort of have similar personalities no not really no no no he's trying to save yourself in both of those roles I'll say that

oh my god he's doing a new movie he's doing a new movie right now has anything else happened is anything else happen are we good can you go to questions now fuck now let's go do the questions

yeah let's go to questions we talk more about Leonardo DiCaprio okay Connor Wilson wrote a he says Does Peter Parker in the new Venom suit get the N-word pass? Yes. Absolutely.

Who's going to stop him? Yeah, he, that's violent. That's dark-skinned Peter Parker, too. So he's got dark-skinned tendencies. Or are those light-skinned tend- What? Because dark-skinned tendencies are the, like, air quotes, we're more violent and more aggressive.

But history has shown light-skins have that tendency more than dark-skinned people. Yeah. So is that technically a, dark skin or light skin tendency I don't know the trick the tricky thing the tricky thing about that

is is the you know it's it's more conniving is the thing the light skins know where the cameras are so they don't do it in front of the cameras

you guys don't know where the cameras are I'm sorry to say because I keep I keep seeing these fucking videos man like straight up like they always like in 4K bro it's crazy like no

awareness of the camera. It's fucking great. And like light skins are like, let's, let's take, let's tank the housing market. Like that's, that's a, that's a life. You know what I mean? Like, you're not going to take house market and also beat the shut on orion. Yeah, like it's, it's, it's, it's more devastating, but it's like subtle and like, like, like, off, off screen.

It's like, Bernie Madoff is a, is a demon who hurt, who hurt like way, way more people than like probably any individual person. But. Yeah. But it's, it's like so many steps. removed from him. And you know, you're not going to find that moment. You talk people about that.

People like, they talk about like, these people do commit crime. I was like, have you seen what Bernardan made off, though? What kind of, was that white on a white crime or is that white on humanity crime? It's white. Like, that was evil what he did. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. It's fucking wild. And I'm like, no, it's not.

It's a person. It is different. It's worse. It's a fucking worse. It's a piece of shit. It's, yeah. But yeah, he can't. And Miles can't beat him.

So he can you say it. Yeah. Like that, Miles can't do nothing about it. Can I say- Can I say-you-get his ass beat? Yo, one thing I got to say. What's up? Shocker. Shocker is in InsomniaX Spider-Man.

The black suit. I think they got to, man. They got to. They got to. I am boycotting Spider-Man, too, if I learned that there is no scene where Peter Parker traumatizes Shocker. Off my playlist. I'm not going to play it. So we need that scene.

So, my-guer assumption, right? What's going to happen is this, right? There's going to start. Craven's going to come looking for lizard. Harry and Peter are going to link back up. He gets the suit, right? What I'm guessing is going to happen is that Miles is going to have to whip Peter's ass to get the suit off him. I think that's going to be the plot device.

Well, with the help of somebody. Well, no, because his shock probably, because in the comics, his shock is effective against the suits, the cart of symbiotes. That's too easy. But I'm pretty sure. Yeah, they're probably going to do it. Peter is going to beat the fuck out of him, though, before he does it. like it might end with Miles winning. They're definitely going to fight each other.

That's for sure. It's going to end with Miles winning. But then Peter is going to say the end word and Miles is going to be like, why did you say it? And he's going to get him. He's going to start dogging him. It's going to be like, dang. So Pete,

why would you say that? So they're kind of going their own way with it, right? They're clearly like, because Miles and Peter have never coexisted alongside the symbiote suit in that way. Like that's kind of a new thing. That's cool. That's dope, actually. Like I think it's, they should be going kind of their own way with it.

I wonder then if Venom is even a separate character. Like, because we already, they already kind of established that, like, Harry isn't necessarily who he is. And, like, I wonder if, if throughout the game, Peter sort of becomes Venom. And that's kind of what, you know what I mean? Like, because, like, the main villain of the game is clearly Venom. Like he's on the teaser art for like when they teased it initially I think Venom is going to be the part Remember how in the first one

It was everything was um was Lee until it was uh the six Yeah yeah I think it's going to be everything is Craven And things happening around Craven Until he goes too far Then Peter's going to hurt Miles or something like that And then it's going to be Venom versus Peter at the end Maybe yeah

I mean yeah Anything goes I like not knowing I think that's what's fun about I also love the way to suit looks I always thought it should look slimy It should yeah

It's an alien creature It should look kind of gross Yeah I do like it's like slithering Yeah They just give Tofer Grace or Something

They just throw him a bone Right Yeah No Don't give him anything bro that was the worst Next question You may be upset

The last... Next question. I'm done. Al Jazeera Jizz highlighted. Nice. Says, hey, snorplers. If you were able, if you were to be reborn

and could choose exactly where and when, you were going to be reborn. When and where would it be? Where? I'd be... Can I choose? what I am as well. Yeah.

Yeah, why not? I choose to be a... I would choose to be a assaulting and such an asshole. Like the fucking, like, I don't know, the 1100s in fucking somewhere in fucking Persia or some shit.

Yeah. Where I was being thrown bitches. Or I would... I would be in my life right now. Yeah. I would be Oppenheimer. Yeah. Yeah.

stop that psycho. Just so I could correct his stupid, like, I wouldn't change anything he did, by the way. I would just change what he said, because I am become death destroyer of worlds or whatever. That's not English, bro. Like, you're speaking stupid. That's not English, bro. Like, aside from the meaning of what you mean by that, like... Yeah, no.

I would still make no way. I would still create the nuclear bomb. I would still engage in really, really questionable behavior. I would do everything exactly the same. I would just, the way he says that always bothered me. You know what's crazy? He probably saved the world for a little bit, but also most likely doomed it. That's really hilarious.

Yeah, it's. You saved lives, sort of. In a roundabout way. When it all fell apart, it was your fault. There's never going to be a way to know that, though, until it's objectively false, you know? Like, it's like you'll never really know. Well, some people get off on the ship.

Some people get off on the ship and they'll be fine. I'll go somewhere else. I don't think so, man. It's pretty optimistic. There's probably been a planet we found a long time ago. That could support life. And only the rich motherfuckers are going to go there. Yeah.

Counter is like, wow. Yeah. It's a flight with like mostly furries and politicians. It's a nightmare planet. It's like, ah, man, there's no children here. There's no kids here Damn it All of you are grown

Damn You got any of those suits to be like a child That's so fucking stupid Let me look Let me look, let me look, let me look Let me to the moon Let me gaze upon the stars The stars

Fly me to the moon What is it? That's life. That's what all the people say. You're riding high at April. Shot down in May. Everything is worse in that. It's crazy.

No one's ever really singing that accent, though. That's why. That's why. That's why. That's why. I want to have your hat. Yeah, yeah. I want to hold your high.

No, they was kind of like that. It was kind of like that. Actually, that song was... They sang in English. It's a bit of a whole dies life. And I'm walking like a dog. Is it a whole day's life? Nobody wants to go.

They're all cockney. It'd be so funny if they had one British accent, but then they like, they switched to cockney when they sang. That's hilarious. Like, it just made it the worst. right now over my even like that

even the fucking instrument bow bow do do do the instruments have an accent you got to behave yourselves guys even the instruments sound British co oi oi govgovgov

gov oi oi oi oi oi oi oi oi boy that's so what was that legend of That was Game of Thrones Oh, I fucking didn't recognize that. Oie, gog, gov, go, gov, gov, gov, gov, gov, gov, gov, gov, gov. Oh, yeah, yeah. Constable.

Yeah. Constable. Let me see, let me see. Man, you guys got to get better at making conciscer questions, okay? Because a lot of these walls of text, like, I got to be real. When I see a wall of text, I kind of skip it, okay? Because it's too much. It's a lot.

I understand you got a lot to say, but there's a lot of you. So we've got to. keep it pithy. Okay? Piffy. Piffy. Let me see. I'm trying to...

Man, they're so long. A lot of these. Let me just pick one at random. Okay? I'm going to read one of these long ones. Bear with me. Cerebral Halsey wrote in. Says, hey, all, not a question.

Just an explanation of a topic brought up in episode 116 regarding poop transplants. What episode is this? Like 150s? 155 maybe? Like what, like two years ago, it feels like this episode. Funny enough, I was taught about it in college last semester in my microbio class. Long story short, we all know that the gut has healthy bacteria in it. But part of what makes certain bacteria type healthy or unhealthy is now concentrated,

is how concentrated it is. So this is literally just an explanation of what this is. doubt this will make the show well too bad it did now you're you're the guy you're the you're the person who explained poop poop science yeah so uh we need people like you but also not the talk like you like shit you're in the shit huh you're that shit like scack Derek you're you're you posted a video I don't remember where I don't know if it was

on Instagram or what but it's you in the gym watching Mrs. Defire and you're saying exposed groomer to this And I think about it all the fucking time because it cracks you the fucking. Expose, grummer. Expose, grummer. Because to me, I like to imagine somebody who isn't in on the joke overhearing you and thinking you're entirely serious. Yeah, yeah. They're like, what the fuck this has got out of hand.

This is about fires of grumer. Totally. He's like, because I mean, like, there's like, if you watch that movie in the context of how insane people are now, it's probably their nightmare. Because it's like everything that they fear. Here's this dad that's trying to like getting close with his people so he fucking becomes a nanny in, you don't even call it in drag, I guess. And then like there's a scene where he's pissing in the toilet and like the son walks in.

And so like, you know, that's like that's it right though. That's fucking the pinnacle of grooming where he just like pop in. You're this old granny with your penis hanging out and shit. And he's like, wait, that I can explain. And then, you know, what some weird happens from there, at least in their mind. Stop. And their mind, that's where they're going with it. Like, oh, you know what happened.

You know what they do. You know what they do. They all do that. That's what they do. I'm glad Robin Williams killed himself. Fucking, what a groomer. I'm glad, like, ritual actively. Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely.

That's such a wild sentence. Holy shit. Imagine harboring such resentment for Robin Williams. That is a whole fucking thing. After all these years, you realize, oh, God, this whole time, he almost got away with it down. He almost groomed my kid,

God, Arnie. He almost groomed those actors. I'm going to drink a beer and punch my wife in the face. Yeah, I also had a similar, like, I saw some Bud Light in the store, and I started kicking the shit out of the box, like, you know, like, fucking, you know, just, just being those people,

channeling their energy. It's kind of fun because they don't got to think. They just got to exist angry. They're like animals. They really are like animals. Just reactionary to like things, right? It's like they're, it's like you see a prey and then they just do things or they're like, you know, like there's no thought to what is going on.

And try it some time, people. Try it some time. You'll get a kick out of it. Be ignorant sometimes. It's lit as fuck, bro. Pretend like you're a couple. complete bigot and just go wild. Just profile people sometimes, bro.

You might be right some of the times. Just profile people. All right. Hucker Derek Rudin. He says, hey there. Hey, there, the three that complete me. Which color Gatorade is the best color? I expect a long, angry, 20-minute debate about this topic.

Love you, Boyos. Oh, blue. You think blue? Yeah, by far, blue. Blue or red? I'm tired of red. I'll take a blue. Yeah.

I'll take a blue. I'm tired of red. I'll, obviously I'll drink anything, but if I had to get one, I'd get blue. Yeah, I think that's probably a unanimous agreement. Yeah. I like, I like red, but like red is too common. Like, I've had red, like, my entire life whenever I have a Gatorade. So, like, I think that's kind of the problem with, I will say, there's like a lavender,

fucking blueberry or some fucking vitamin water. The coolberry one. The coolberry one. It's very good. No, specifically, not Gatorade. It's a vitamin water. There's a lavender-flavored mixed with something else vitamin water that is one of the best things I've ever fucking tasted. And it's so fucking good.

But I can't find it anywhere. I only found it in like the gas station down the street from my parents' house. That's the only place I've ever seen it. So they all got shipped. Yeah, yeah. So they all got shipped upstate, upstate New York. Yeah, man, it's just it. It's just blue.

Yeah, blue is clear. There's better flavors. There's not going to be wrong. There's better flavors. What's, okay, so what's the worst one? I think that fucking lime, that yellow, fucking... Yeah, that yellowish, that's not quite yellow, not quite green. That's the original?

That's the original? That's the original? Because that's the original flavor. It's a prototype. That's crap. I figured red would be the original. Yeah, you'd think that, but like, yeah, it was, uh, it was some disgusting gator drink or some shit. Um, it was like, some swamp shit. Like, the Florida gators were like, Like, we need a drink that looks like piss from a fucking gator. And then they gave it to them. And they believed that it had some special electrolytes.

And they won that year. They won the college Super Bowl, whatever it is. I don't know what the college. I don't know what their championships called. The NCA. The NCA. Wait, NCWA? Yeah, NCAA.

NDACP championships? No, not that one. Who do you think would win NDACP championship? They had like a championship for the best, the best colored. The best Negro. No, the best colored. I guess, yes. We got to include more people.

Yeah, no, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. My Hispanic friends count, all right. Who's the best colored person right now? Yeah, let's keep it to America.

Ice spice. You think, I mean, but yeah, the Gen Z would probably vote her in to win. I don't know shit about her, man. I don't care about her. No disrespect. I just don't know anything about her. Jamie Fox. I'll give him to Jamie Fox.

Yeah, hopefully he makes it. Dude, that's crazy that, like, he had a fucking stroke, man. I just assumed he's like a bill of health, like that guy. Because he looks like it. He looks perfect for his age. He's crazy. He's just saying he's just really down bad, man. Oh, another sad, sad news.

Sorry, guys. You probably don't care because most of you guys probably aren't black or old. I know. Black or old. We lost Tina Turner. Yeah. Horrible, horrible, horrible thing. What the fuck is that?

Of course. You're lying. You have to know what Tina Turner is, Chris. Of course, I know who Tina Turner is. Thank God. Timmy Turner's mom. Yeah. No, that's Mom Turner, actually.

No, I know. Yeah, that's... That's a big deal. Yeah. She's fucking... Yeah, it's pretty crazy. I was, I was binging on her music a couple weeks ago, oddly enough. How old was she, though?

Some old, like, songs. Like, 80s something? Really? Yeah, she was in her 80s. Well, she made music when my grandma was young. So, yes, she's definitely not young. She was fucking in the Thunderdome, Mad Max 3. Oh, yeah, that's right, yeah.

You know, though, obviously the worst Mad Max. That movie sucks. That movie fucking sucks, dude. Yeah, and it's all her fault. Like, Mad Max 2 is fun. Mad Max 1 is unwatchable. I don't if you've ever seen it. One's a bad movie.

It's fucking unwatchable. It's just not good. One is a bad movie. It's so fucking boring. And the Fury Road's pretty awesome. Yeah, so I'd really sucks because I'd recommend you not watch any of them just watch Fury Road.

You don't really need any context for the movie. It's just cars, desolate, apocalyptic desert cars and weird Australians. Yeah, and it works. It works. All right. We got another.

This blows, man. I remember listening to her music when I was a child with my grandma. Like, that was, like, one of the things we did. We would, like, dance together and, like, listen to, like, fucking, like, the best. And, like, shit like that. What's come? Got to do. Got to do with it.

It's insane, dude. What's come. 83, man. Not a damn. Ejaculation. EJ. May she rest in peace, man. That's so sad.

Yeah. Yeah, no, that sucks. No legend going. would it be disrespectful if I did a gay cover for us? No, I don't think so. That's up to you, Derek. That's up to you. If there's a good enough idea,

then it justifies itself. I would argue. Yeah, it's true. But let's move on. Papa Jesus wrote in. He says, hey, hey, hey, you hilarious hymboes. Recently a family member told me he thinks porn is a conspiracy to get men addicted to draining themselves of their masculine energy.

Needless to say, I was flabbergasted. So that being said, what are some of the most outrageous belief slash conspiracies you've ever heard? There's a lot of these. There's one, but I'm scared to mention that it's the group that I want to talk about. They are about their action. So I don't want to say it. Oh, I know you're talking about. I have no idea.

You're talking about the gentleman that relieved Malcolm X of his life? Are you talking about those people? The ones that relieve Malcolm X of his life, those fellows. Yeah. They are rather about their business. They have some funny fucking beliefs. They do. They have a lot of, uh, it's like anything Dr. Umar says.

I'm gonna say, I can't believe this is a real guy. Because he, because he starts off on the right train of thought. And then it just turns into like, what are you talking about, brother? Like, what's going on, man? Look, if you, if you guys want to have any idea of, of what the type of shit they believe, even just watch or at least just get a synopsis of um uh tarik nashid's documentaries called hidden colors because it's just that shit essentially it's it's fucking it's fucking it's just made up fucking nonsense that's all i can say it's there is no basis to any it's just

somebody trying to and they're not even good stories that's the problem it's it's bad storytelling that it's not compelling like uh uh at least like like some say Scientology has some cool characters in it. You know what I mean? Like at least there's... Both three is pretty lit. Scientology. Like, there's some shit in it that's like,

at least like, uh, this isn't the worst shit I've ever... Oh my God. Is this fucking real? What am I seeing right now? I'm gonna... Okay, so... Oh, are you... Are you...

In the... In the, in the, not Zankankeh... In the Riverside chat, I'm going to share a link with you guys. Uh... If this is real, I can't fucking... believe it. Uh-oh, from right-wing cope? Uh-oh, what's happening?

It's hard to believe because this, this, this account sometimes jumps the gun. But like, what the fucking, if Matt Walsh is actually selling. No fucking way. It's, it sounds, this is too funny to be real. Like, it's, I, yeah, no way, this is real.

$100 for free Leftist Tears Tumblr Hmm I can't tell Somebody I need a leak I need a leak This is pose law

You know This is Pose law In full effect Where it's like Matt Walsh Apparently Apparently Matt Walsh It's selling Baby plushies of himself

And it's just like a baby plushy With like his head on it But like I can't It's so The thing is it's like I would believe this Like it's

It's totally believable But it's so stupid That I just I can't tell anymore man it's such a mess out there let's see what

yeah see what happens see if you can let's get one I will absolutely buy one and I will come on it and send it to him that's so fucking vile

that should be crunchy holy shit by the time it gets back to him okay so all right thoughts on the plushy I'm still not seeing a link

uh I'm where can you I see no links I see this thing posted fucking everywhere but I see no links at all Damn

So there It may it may just be That's so funny though That is such a funny idea He should do that He should do that He should sell plushies of his head on a baby Just take it

I think it I think it would work out Do you think I don't know To be like Conspiracies are Store dot Hold on hold on

Hold on Oh did you find it? Oh my God It's real Oh my Oh, it's fucking real. It's on the store.

Dailywire.com. Oh, and then it shows one of those sliding, uh, slideshow things. Yeah. Oh my God.

I can't believe this is fucking real. I was like convinced. I'm like, oh, this is bullshit. And then immediately somebody in Reddit like dropped the link. And I'm like,

oh my God. Imagine sincerely getting like a plushy like that for like your kid. Right? And then. somehow sharing the opinion that like man politics should like not be everywhere

you know I really wish politics weren't weren't so fucking everywhere when my kid fucking plays with a Matt Walsh fucking plushy it's so insane it's so fucking crazy I don't know there's a conspiracy theory that

that I never understood which is like that the vaccine is meant to to kill you because like Like, it's like the exact people you wouldn't want to kill are the people who take your advice. Like, I just, it doesn't, if anything, it would, it would behoove them to make people think that the vaccine was that so that the people who hated them would just not take the vaccine and get sick and die. Like, it, like, it never really made sense to me, like, this, like, weird conspiratorialism about the vaccine.

Like, or any, really any anti-vax statement ever, like, really at all. Like, just the entire premise of it. Oh, it gives you. autism like what like I just how I feel like the only reason it took off is because of the same way people are freaking out about like trans stuff is they see the graphs they see the numbers that oh

these numbers are rising why is there so many more trans people than back in the day and then people have to explain to these dummies that are like because it's more acceptable and people know more about it kind of like being left fucking handed right back then it wasn't accepted to be left handed Right? So it's just a great example. It is a great example.

Trans and social is like, dude, you know how long, how many cultures, like a third gender existed? Like that's a thing that's existed for far longer than what is male and female has existed. It's like, no, you're out of your mind. And it's like, no, I just read a book. I read one book about it. Well, the other thing, too, is just like, I don't know, like, I remember us having this conversation with like a it was like a family friend

like it was like a friend of a family member who was like a little bit older and they were talking to me about like like why man why are there so many like why are so many people who are gay now it's so weird and then he referenced he referenced the Romans

as like as like a period where like you know it was like man we used to be like you know fucking like masculine and men used to be and it wasn't like he's he's I could tell he's like too old to be ironic

you know like ironic humor is like a very specific thing and he's never been that kind of person like he's just not he's just not into that at all and when he's joking it's obvious and I I was just sort of sitting and it's like yeah Romans

yeah I couldn't believe yeah right it's like gayest place in fucking in the war Rome is gayer than West Hollywood. Like, buy a lot. Like, buy a lot.

It was smart, man. Make your homies fuck each other so they fight harder to save each other. That's math. That's math, bro. That's just how it works, man. If you want to keep that butt around, go fight to protect that butt. Bro.

Yeah, that's, man. My boy, Bacchranes got some good booty on him. I'm gonna protect him. When we go to war, I'm going to kill for him. You got the best booty out of all my friends. That's it. Man, the wildest conspirator, man, there's so many. It's crazy how many there are.

It's crazy how many are the wild. The lizard people one is crazy, too. That one is deep, bro. That one's my favorite. That one's my favorite as far as, like, because it's, it's just fantastical. It's not, I feel like that's one of the ones that doesn't really, well, I, okay, that's not, somebody would probably yell at me right now. I was going to say it doesn't harm anyone,

but a lot of people have unfortunately associated the lizard people, reptilians with Jews. They think Jews are the reptilians. And so it took me a lot to figure that out because I always just thought like, oh, there's some other entity. They think it's some alien shit. But yes, but they also think Jews are those people. They're the shape shifting, though.

And that's why the Jews are in control of everything. Of course they would. I actually didn't know. I actually did. I actually did think. Until today that it was that it was an alien thing. Yeah, it's way deeper than you think as far as like the anti-sidmatism goes. It makes sense, though.

When you really think about it, though, it makes sense. I've seen some of these niggas say something like this. Well, why are there if you go like, why if you go to any culture around the world that had no contact with each other, there's always these like lizard drawings or like kind of dragon things? And I'm like, dinosaurs? Extinct animals? I'm like,

are you guys, did you not go to preschool? Did you not go to preschool when there's the fossils and we all love dinosaurs and they look like dragons, they're fossils and shit? I'm like, how fuck is that even? It's so many people just leaping,

just leaping before they look. Like, and it's not a fatal leap. It's a thing, man. So like they just leap and they continue, they continue going. It's a, like, well, well, I believe that there are lizard people running around and I'm not dead,

so it must not be that bad of a thing. And it's like, I don't know, it's crazy. It's crazy out there. It's the danger, man, a danger of half knowledge, man. That shit is really not, that shit's terrifying, bro. People that have a bit of knowledge, it's scary. Because they just, fucking, they're just saying the wrong things, loud, real loud. Yeah, they're the people who, they're the people who read,

read like the inside sleeve of a book and be like, yeah, I read it. Yeah, I get it. I get it. I already know what it's about. It's like, no, you don't. You know what the preface is. I get it, though. Maybe you have to read the whole thing.

Cerebral Halsey wrote in with another one. Hey, hey, all, Pat here. Celebrating my golden birthday later this month. Would appreciate a question read. We got your last one, but it wasn't really a question. So we're going to go with this one. My question is a simple one. What's a boomer gamer take you have?

if that isn't self-explanatory, I'll give you mine. Mine is such as I love Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom. As much as I love Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom, they fall into a large group of open world games that don't need to be 100% open world and would benefit by having a smaller world with more linear story and routing. So like linear, like more games should be linear

is basically your boomer, gamer opinion. I mean, I agree with that idea. I don't agree with Breath of the Wild being that into his kingdom, but I agree with that idea. I think level does. design that's falling apart now because we don't have it anymore. Yeah. Everything's just open.

So we've lost the ability to make levels about things, which is very sad because level design is very important for things. Yeah. A boom at game. I feel like, is it just like a, I don't know, man. I feel like just more like, uh, people feel like they're getting more of a bank for your buck when it's open world where I always feel like the, the, the bank for your buck, the replay value really what it was what I'm looking for is just,

Like, I thought when New Game Plus became a thing, I thought that was just, that's genius. That, that's, it gives me the replay value. I can play this more than there's like the completionist piece. I feel like there's a lot of linear things where you can still spend a lot of fucking time in it. Yeah, 100%. Like, yeah, so I do agree with that. There are some things that are like unnecessarily open world. Not too boomerist, I guess, you know, because, I mean, shit, you can streamline a fucking thing like a,

fucking Final Fantasy game and that shit will still take two trillion hours and shit. So I don't know, man. But, yeah, I can't think of anything really as far as, like you said, a boomer, like something where I'm just like, things need to be this way or I miss when things were this way. I got one. I can't think of anything right now. 16 bit needs to become popular again, man. We need more 16 big games again.

16 bit? Like, we got a decent amount of those. More. Yeah, Steam's kind of doing, like. More. A lot of indie studios are picking up the torch with that. And not 16 bit exactly, but like in the spirit. Like things like HoloNite and dead cells.

Like those are very much in the spirit of 16 bit. Like absolutely. But yeah, those are. I want to make my gangster quest. Somebody, some help me out. Gangsticquest is such a good idea. It's a good game. I love that idea.

Snark Tank presents gangster quest, man. It'll be like, that she'll do numbers. Easily. Easily. I would fund it. Go, go fucking. Because you and Colin have a game, so just... Yeah, I'll pitch it to Colin.

I'll pitch gangstic west of Colin. Fucking do it, dude. All right, yeah. Do it. Yeah, I'll pitch to him. And it works. It works. Dude, that shit will blow my fucking mind, man.

Because I just feel like it's a concept that it's like, how is this not existed yet? It's so easy. It's such an easy. It's an underhand pitch, you know? Or it's T-ball. It's T-ball. You can just fucking get on Roids and knock that shit out of the park, you know? You know why it hasn't existed yet?

Because everyone that's pitched that hasn't been black. Yeah, it's true. So not you. Yeah, like the widest people like pitching and they're like, oh, this sounds like, I don't. I don't get it. I don't know, but if you, if you wait. Oh, never mind. I don't think I understand what it is your pitching here.

What? Grab this stuff. I'm falling asleep, bro. There's that stuff. Gangster quest. I got shit they do, bro. I got to move a couch. Put some fucking, uh, you never do.

the gangster quest. I don't get it. I don't get it. Like gangsters like like like um like Noriega. You know? I don't think they really do quest though. It isn't, my boomer opinion is that games don't need to be as long as they are.

I think there's a lot of games that are like really like overstay. They're welcome and they're kind of bloated. And honestly, 10 to 15 hours is like more than enough for me. If it's like a good, if it's like a well-designed game and it's solid, And it's got like good replay value. That's, that's more than fine.

I don't need fucking 28, 30, 30, 40, 50, fucking 70, 80 hours. I don't need that. Nah, bro. I want RPGs that are that long, bro. Give me an 85 hour RPG. So by the time I'm done with that bitch, I cry. No, I cry. I hate that.

By the time, by the time I finish Richard 3, I cried. Because I was like, fuck, dude. But there are so few. There are so few games that are that long that justify themselves. You know what I mean? Like, Witcher and Red Dead are like the only two games that are as long as they are or that are super, super long and benefit from being that long. I can't think of another game that's benefited.

I mean, every other. Oh, they show Dreadwolf a little bit. No, they did. What the fuck are you talking about? They said that they, then they show stuff for Dreadwolf? They didn't show anything for Degu? You're fucking hallucinating. Did they not show anything?

No, did I not see the word Dreadwolf? No, PlayStation wouldn't even fucking do that anyway. Well, they would because so many of these games aren't even PlayStation game. Yeah, that's a good point. No, Dreadwolf was not there. I wish. You're going insane. It's not going to be a bad game.

I think I won it so bad. That's what I thought I saw it. I think my brain was like, oh, Dreadwolf, yay! They're good. Like, it's going to be a decade between these games. Next year, I think. I think next year it's going to be a decade since the last one came out. That's fucking stupid.

You know what's crazy? if this one fails, it's done. Oh, they're definitely done. It's done. You believe that, it's gone. This next mass effect fails, it's over. I don't even have money anymore. Like, I don't even know how they're still aflo.

I guess they got a little bit of change with the legendary edition. But, bro, I thought once Anthem failed, there was like, that's it. Fucking Andromeda Anthem. Who the fuck thought that was a good idea, man? Andromeda is such a half-made video game. It's insane, bro. And that... And that...

And that... And the next thing. Dude, that exposed... That expose... Yeah. The article? I can't remember what are... What...

I think it might have been Kataku, actually. Props to them. It might have been Katak. Or whoever did it. Like, yeah. That exposee on fucking Anthem

is crazy. Like, it's one of the most interesting pieces of like... It's one of the most interesting stories. Well, like... I think about it every once in a while. Yeah, I think...

It is a crazy story. So Anthem, when they first, unveiled Anthem, the studio making it, like, they showed it at like E3 or the game awards or something, at some like press conference. And the team making the game had no clue what they were making. They just knew that they didn't, they didn't have a name for it until like they learned, they learned the name of Anthem at the event along with everybody. And they didn't like, they just, they just had higher ups go like, we want flying.

or something. Or like, I don't even think it had flying. I think it's some, look it up. Just look up the, the anthem expose or something, because it is one of the craziest articles ever. Like, no one knew what the fuck it was. Everything there was like CG made by some like outsource studio just to, basically when we all saw it, that was the pitch meeting for the game for the studio. And they were like, oh, I guess, I guess, I guess that's what we have to make. And then they went back from. that E3 or that game awards or whatever and then tried to build the game that was in the trailer. And they weren't allowed. How to fail. It's crazy. They weren't allowed to like reference any outside. Like if there were other looter shooters around the time, like they specifically explicitly say they weren't allowed to look at destiny.

Like they weren't allowed to talk about it. They weren't allowed to address destiny or like what it was doing. or pitch anything. They had to just basically develop that game in a fucking silo in a cave like separate from the world assuming they knew how to do a fucking multiplayer looter shooter

and they fucking don't because they never did. It's crazy. It is a fascinating article. It sucks to suck, man. How does a AAA? Like how? How?

That's really the... How? It shouldn't be possible for that to happen. It should. not be possible. That's what's so fascinating about it. You know what's also read that article. What's extra fascinating about it too is that it wasn't even EA that made them do it. Like, that was just internally. Like, they just imposed all that shit on themselves. Yes. Like, which is so crazy. So insane. Man, what a shame. BioWare. They really fucked themselves up.

Yeah, big time. They were the king of Western RPGs, man. Yeah. They were the kings. They were literally on. They made Kaltour and Kaltor. People were like, yo, Kutour, best things come out of Star Wars. They made Dragon Age origins. They made Mass Effect. They made fucking all those games. It's hit after

hit after hit. And then they just like And then Skyrim. And then Skyrim came out. Skyrim came out. And then that was it. It was it for them. It was the last thing. They didn't do Skyrim. No, but that's what I mean. Bethesda came out with Skyrim. And then suddenly

it was like, oh, well, Bethes is crazy. Whoa, Fallout? Whoa, fallout New Vegas. And then Byer was like, oh, oh, wait. Uh, wait. Uh, uh, uh, Mass Effect 3 is going to end really poorly. Yeah, Mass Effect, the vanilla was just the complete fucking dog shit. Holy fuck.

Yeah. The thing is this, right? The thing is right, what happens is you have to understand that they could have just chilled. Like the fan base that they accrued, like, I think that's before, that's back when companies were like, we got to get revenue. Because, like, a very passionate fan base will get a game, it'll do great. But I think that's my time when they were like, we need numbers. You need to put numbers on the board. Now it's just like, oh, no, if you just have a game that's very good, the people that love it will play it and it will get, it'll get recognition.

That's for Dragon's Dogma. Yeah. That's what divinity. It's all those, like, smaller games. People just love these. It's easier said than done, though, Kingston. That is true. It's easier said than done.

Because, like, you know, you say, you say, why didn't they just chill? And I say, why don't you just get a sure SM7B? These are very, very easy things to do. I am evidently. In fact, getting one as soon as I move. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll see. I am.

Yeah. Okay, Peter Ball. I like how there's just, it's like one click away from like that. Yeah, yeah, literally. I'm actually getting it, you know? Yeah, it's like it's, it's way easier than. actually chilling out at a game development studio actually but like I mean shut up shut up all right here continue do what you're doing I'm just saying

you know you're like the you're like the Peter Malinue of buying a microphone so I'm not you are you're like fable three's gonna be fucking crazy do you remember when oh oh yeah silk song shit oh yeah silk song's been I don't even know what the fuck's going on with that game I filed that game. I don't think that game's coming out still anymore. I don't think the game's coming out still. I think they're just going to Mars or something.

They're like, fuck this, dude. Let's get out of here. I think they lost the source data for freaking Hollow Night. And they're like really trying to create it. They have no clue how they created it. They're like,

yo, how do we do this? How do we fix this? There it is. They all finish making Hollow Night and then they were all like, all, like, all, like, oh, we're done making Silk Song. And then like,

delete. They all went to different. They all went to different jobs. They all went to different jobs. And so all the new people came in. And they were like, cool. We got a Silk Song done. And then they accidentally deleted it.

And now they have to remake it from memory. From what they got nobody from the old team to help them. It's just eight, it's just eight people and two gingers trying to figure out how to build Silk Song. Eight people in two gingers. Yeah. I can't be a part of this. Yeah. The implication, of course, is that

their separation. 10 cc's of girl juice running. This is the last question. Citation is Chris, Derek and Sween, long-time listener, but first time sub here, thanks for keeping me sane through the doom eternal-esque crusades, through swarms of pro-life mom surrounding my local plant parenthood

as I produce more feminine essence to transmute my horrible visage onto the government mandicated... This is too much. My question is for Chris, who, as we... We all know as lived a long life of suffering at the hands of Imagine Dragons. At the recent Netflix writers strike, they performed in the middle of the crowd.

So, Chris, would you rather have Imagine Dragons perform in every room you occupy live with no auto tune or instrumentals as they did at the protest for the rest of your life? Can't kill yourself or can't escape to Mars? Or have vicious oral threesome with Chris Chan the quartering and a lifel-like fall. in order to rend Imagine Dragon's That is a life farmer With them hands on that dick

With them hands on that dick man What if a former could suck the fuck out of a dick though I mean they can't see So you know things get enhanced You know? They're sucking is enhanced I would I understand that I can't kill myself

But I think that's like an inevitability of like Even if I If I killed myself to avoid this I get that that's not, I get that that's like not allowed. But if I did either of these, I would probably kill myself, I think. Like, I don't think me dying is escapable. So honestly, it makes both of them, it makes both of them basically the same, except one, I have to fuck Christian. So no, I think I'd rather just like suffer with Imagine Dragons for about four days until I decide that I can't do it.

and just, you know, bite the bullet, literally. The idea of you just being, like, waking up and be like, I can't do what I imagine dragon's playing everywhere. I'm winking up. If I, yeah, they play, they say I'm waking up. Every time I wake up. And I'm waking up. I'm waking up.

It's awake right up. I'm awake. Yo, that's a quick death, dude. Like, is that, that you already know, because you know that you're going to have to endure this for the rest of your life. Yeah, that's a pretty quick decision. I'm waking up. I'm awake.

I would be. I'm waking up. I'm awake. Welcome, I'm awake. Wake, wake. I'm awake. Welcome, I'm awake. Wake, wake, wake.

I'm awake. Wake. I'm not. That's an easy one. Yeah. So I won't be awake. You'll probably be at my wake in this situation. Just make yourself go deaf.

No, but then I would still have to see. See, because it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not about the fact, because they're there. The implication of the question is that it's not like, they're alive in every room, you know? Like, they're following me, basically. So I would stop to see them. And I think at a certain point, I would, it's such a psychic damage that I think just watching them and like, reading their lips would make me hear the song, like in my, in my, in my, in my, Yeah, true. You would hear it in your fucking head.

I would hear it in my head because it would have been, it would have been the last thing I would have heard because it's the thing that made me want to deafen myself. So that sucks. You know what's crazy? You know what's crazy? Imagine you kill yourself, you shoot yourself, and you don't die,

but you heard imagine dragons over the shotgun. Like they were louder than the shotgun blast you used. And yourself. They drowned out entirely. No one even knows you shot a shot. Yeah, no one knows I shot myself because it's drowned out by the fucking drums in Thunder.

Oh. I, uh... And what? Thunder. Feel the Thunder. The Thunder. Lightning and the Thunder. I got to tell you, I hit that song way worse than Radioactive.

That song is fucking... I actually like radioactive a little bit. That song sucks. That shit is fucking crazy. Thunder is worse. It's crazy how shitty it is. Thunder is fucking abysmal, but I don't run into it. nearly as often.

Like, I, like, I haven't, I haven't heard thunder against my will in, like, six years, probably. Yeah. And it was crazy. Radio Act is one of the most popular songs ever made, probably. Isn't that wild? Yeah, it's like, it's, it's the minions effect. It's the minions effect. It's, it's popular, but, like, no one knows quite why.

I just want to write a song that, like, I want, I've always just wanted a one-hit wonder, because I don't really, like, the idea of touring, I don't really want to do that. I like local shows and shit Yeah It's money, bro It's the money It is money But I just don't

Like when I was younger I liked the idea of touring Not I don't fucking want to do that anymore But yeah Just one hit wonder Like Just get in so much money From streaming and shit

And like And then don't do anything Toor yeah Touring is unironically Very hard work Like I know that it's like I know that it's like Oh bro artists talking about touring is insane

It's like kind of like a meme or like just sort of like a generally like like less educated joke that like artists or like performers are kind of lazy With musicians, I don't know, man. Like, I could not travel for as long as they travel. Like, sometimes like multiple flights a day to like, like, oh, you spend one night in fucking Vegas. You spend the next night, the next day driving to fucking, I don't know, Vancouver to do a fucking. It's, it seems like hell, honestly. Like, I, that was the main deterrent for me about music where it was like, oh, man, I don't want to, I don't want to tour.

I would love to just play Like if I was ever doing music I would love to like play like one live show And then just sort of like chill Like I'm way too lazy to be a fucking famous musician That's insane. That sounds like hell That shit's work bro Big time

That shit is work I was gone for two months And Towards the end every day I was just dreaming about sleeping in my bed Like that I was just having dream My brain was like

I need the bed And the home And just be home It didn't want to do anything but just sleep at home Because it's so uncomfortable Fucking It's it's it's terrible But if you do like traveling and meeting people and shit like that right

I always told people it's the best worst experience I ever had Going on the road Because it maybe it would be different if you were like fucking Metallica or you know Or a huge pop thing because then you're flying everywhere You're just getting Yeah You're getting there Everything is thrown at you.

Everything's complimentary. Everything. So maybe that experience, you know, it's probably not that tough being one of the big, like being Taylor Swift is probably very easy touring because you're just flying on private, private jets. I mean, it's probably easier. It probably can't go home and chill and then literally get on a plane and go to the next fucking city. It's probably easier because like the idea, the idea, I can imagine performing every day.

Like that shit sounds dope. Like, it'll destroy you. to a certain extent I can't do this I can't Like imagine being like a fucking DJ That's probably gotta be a pretty sweet gig Yeah

Just kind of like dancing around And still But still that's every day You gotta go up to a set every day You know you gotta I'm okay with that Because I gotta do almost the same shit every day Everybody's got to go to their fucking job every day

That's true That's true Like I'll push some fucking buttons and dance around Right There's ones like like Kate Trinata right Like he's he mixes every day and he's always like doing, like every time he comes before him

he's out there mixing, he's just like, he's doing proper sets. He's not just playing music, you know? Derek. Derek, uh, I don't know if you've seen anything about this Gallum game. Oh, dude, did you see the score? Dude, it's got like a 38 from like

IGN and like big, uh huh? Dude, it looks so ugly too. I was watching some, I was watching some gayplay of it and this dude's beard there's a guy talking in his beard like the tip of his beard like independently like twitches

like up at him like it's got a like an arm with a bone in it I don't know who the fuck made this game but it's it is so fucking funny it is so bad dude

he looks like fucking crack-addled Tommy pickles I can't like it doesn't even look like Ghalin it looks like such a Wow. It is such a disgusting character model. My question is they made a game about Ghalm. Bro, did they not read those books? Everyone hates that dude.

What do you mean? You know what? I play video games for the power fantasy. So I can't wait to play Ghalm. A Gullum, a mutated hobbit? Yeah, I love the feeling of... A hobbit that doesn't have the power that a hobbit should have. Yeah, I feel like the, I love the feeling of being meek, thin, shrivel

and helpless. It's an amazing. I like a, I like Skillup's, um, uh, title. It says, Gumb is way worse than even our lowest expectations. Yeah,

the skill of videos, I would honestly like, I'm a huge nerd, so I watch a lot of like game review content, but like even for people, if people just want to see like a fucked product and like in an entertaining way, his video is awesome. It is,

it is so fucking funny. because it starts off like I don't like making videos like this but this fucking sucks and he just shows you all the like you breed a bird or something and he has like a pet bird it's fucking it's mesmerizingly horrible

but highly recommend that video ran out of ideas man because yeah that's one of the that's one of the characters you don't visit in Lord of the Rings as far as making a fucking game you don't like Gollum

Dude, I was fucking annoyed when you had to work with Ghalem in the fucking Middle Earth games. I was like, fuck this guy. I hate this nigga, dude. Like, yeah. Why can't I kill him? This guy. Seriously. I would, dude, I would catch Ghalm while he was sleeping and I would drop a heavy rock on his head, bro.

Like, I would, I hate him. I hate him. Yeah, he sucks. Yeah. I mean, he's technically sort of the hero of the end, but still I hate him. No, fuck that, nigger man. Yeah, he's a, I don't know. I want to be Gallum.

I want to be Gallum. They're going to make, like, fucking, like, a Smigel game. Like, they're just going to, like, just go do some origin bullshit. Or he's like, hey, I'm a fucking stupid-ass hobbit before I turn into this weird creature. Oh, they were still whatchicolor when he was still on? When he was just like, it was, it was, like, smigle back in the day or some shit? I think it was Smigel. I think it was, I think it was, I think it was, I think it was Smigel now.

Yeah, I think he was Smigel. He was, he was smigel. What if Smeagel? What if Gowland looked exactly the same, but Smeagel was played by Jamie Fox as he is. Wait, what? Wait, say that again? He was like a six-foot-three black man.

He's like, y'all don't understand. I got to take the spring where I got to bring it. That sounds like this. Is that what you see? Like that's where we ended. That is where we ended. Make them blue, too.

Make him like that homeless Manhattan. That he was a homeless Dr. Manhattan in a, in Spider-Man 2. You know that shit? where he was all blue and he looked like electrode electrode where like when I saw him

and somebody was like dude that's just homeless Dr. Manhattan and I was like I lost it I was like that is literally it It's crazy because Dr. Manhattan

Manhattan got his dick out Yeah that shit was dope But wouldn't you though If you're Dr. Manhattan But wouldn't you be erected though Like always Always breaked up Yeah just always

Why why not Living up to his name's Live up to his namesake I was kind of, you remember the watchman movie? They fucking, when he was in Vietnam and he's like large and they put a thong on him, I was so pissed off. Is he, like,

why didn't they just show his massive penis? It's not even big. That's what's crazy. He didn't even make his dick big. He just made his dick like a regular size dick. Like he doesn't need it. Beyond human bullshit. He got a normal size penis, you know?

If I was him, I would just get a pussy. Just make a pussy for no reason. Just as you know, like I'm Dr. Manhattan. I have a pussy. Is Dr. Manhattan circumcised? It doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't have to be if he doesn't want it to be.

That's what I mean. I need to. I think he was circumcised before he was before he became Dr. Manhattan. But it's like, you do whatever he was. Maybe he is. So I'll be straight up. I've never seen Watchman. I don't know what the fuck is about.

If I was Dr. Manhattan, I'd have a vagina with a penis erupting out of it. That's fucking penis. I would do some fucks. I don't, you don't have to respect the laws in the universe. I am, that's it. That is it. I'm doing whatever I want. Yeah.

I'm going to make every cat on the planet cough up rats. Like, just wild shit like that is that ruin the way the world works. Yeah. But wait, watchman's pretty good, man. It's a good movie. Yeah. It's very much so, like, very critical of war, particularly Vietnam, obviously. Highly all rated.

I should be more specific. I don't remember much about it. Because I, like, I definitely have, because I remember that fucking times they are changing intro. I remember the fucking. Oh, yeah. Hallelujah sex scene or whatever the fuck. I remember, I remember Dr. Manhattan waving his hand. Remember that egg and gets hot oil thrown on him?

Do you remember that? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And fucking Borchaxon, fucking prison and throws oil on that dude. And he starts screaming like when, when, Peter, with, with, with Spider. Yeah, shocker.

You showed me that scene. You showed me that scene. when Spider-Man gets, like, kicked in his chest or whatever, at the end of the first Spider-Man one, and he makes that fucking squeal. I never would have noticed that if it wasn't for you. You pointed that shit out. I can't even get that.

I can't even hit that note. That's good shit, though. Oh, anyway. Yeah, that is, that is, yeah, let's get the fuck out of here. Thanks. Thanks, everybody for showing up. Get your Matt Walsh plushies over at WW. www. patreon.com slash a snark tank.

That's crazy. We had the link. We got like a fucking link that we got kicked back like 75% of it. You know what we should do? We should unironically just steal them. It's just like you should submit that design to like some plushy company and have a

and just name it something else and you just sell them. If we could figure that out, that'd be dope. Because like is that, who's to say that's even Matt Walsh? Who's like it's just, it's just, it's so generic. What's Al Boreland? Is that Al Bundy? Yeah, yeah, that's

Al Bundy had a fucking bearded glasses. It's not even close. It's like everything wrong. If you ordered an Al Bundy Plushy and the Matt Walspussy gave you ass, you like, this doesn't even rub, every single minute, minimal detail is incorrect here.

Nothing about this is right. Not a damn thing about this. Correct, maybe is the skin-toned. That's even that's like, you know, even that I would have to I would have to further examine. But pop on over to patreon.com slash Snark Tank.

We, you know, we post, we post the episode there first. Peg, me, good, Peg. Then goes to free feeds, much appreciated. And I'm going to read our $25 and up patrons now. Let's do it. Let's do it.

Three, two, one. Al, you can't fuck the cat. The Athletic Cup that all the Spider-Men share Lee Harvey Pogswald A man who got fired for playing Gadeo active on the PA system I hope that's real Hey Chris

If Master Chief is so great Why can't he stop my parents divorce? 533 anti-trans bills in 2020 alone 49 states 64 pass 3752 active 97 failed Derek some white guy Doc Jenkins and the Tizum

schism. Damn it Sweeney, how many times do I have to tell you? Stop sending me news of your girlfriend while I am reading the credits. She pippin on my pippa. Pawsum! Yes, that's my real name. If Tom and Chris are Puerto Rican, why don't they speak like bad bunny? Piss bed, Domination, average clit energy, face fister, star coffee, Harambe versus 20 elementary schoolers in the gulog. Lindsay Graham's little ladybug, staying hydrated to to be ready to piss on Margaret Thatcher's grave at a moment's notice. There is a chair at the end of my bed for my cat, and I call it his sneak-o seat. Transfemling. Transfem gremlin. Can Logan Paul abandon a million pigs? My sexual awakening was the quirky got girl from NCIS, and now my tasting women is ruined. Yush. Asker, the angelic dungeon master who would like to ask you about the raiders that have just entered the tavern.

Imagine you in a conversation and your friend farts for 10 minutes and starts deflating. Would that be funny or should I draw that? Would that be funny you should draw that? I can't draw that. That idea is fucking vile, though. Yeah, that would be... Like, they end up, like, you know the weed? You know the weed commercials?

Where, like, the girl is, like, flat on the couch? Yeah, yeah. That'd be fucking frightening, so fucking insane. That is so fucking dumb. Oh, my... Okay. Craig the Canadian. It's your boy, Shawnee D. Southern Sweet Tea.

Matt Walsh is a hero of our time, sweet baby gang for life. Indy Butterknife on YouTube. What's with these homies? This and My Girl. I dream of Ricky Berwick scuttling through a hall of mirrors, like some sort of relentless Tim Burton heartthrob. 3XO, getting his question read half red and skipped the last episode. God damn it, Chris.

I'm sorry. Nice. I'm sorry. It is what it is. Now, honestly, you guys, I might, make a post on the page around about this. We got to get better about the questions. They're too long. We got to, because there's a lot of you. And I want to get as many of you in as possible. And so basically just think about it as if you're trying to ask your question, but you're also making room for the other people.

Because more of you will get selected that way, for sure. And, uh, you know, it won't waste your time. So be quick with them. Slurp and stroking, smoke and jokin. Emoticon's going like, this morning owl it the average person has one fallopian tube Caesar little drip M.H the lord of drip Nancy Pelosi killing a Palestinian with their massive tits Obi won't you blow me

Sween you have something between your teeth Creator Clash 3 featuring Ricky Gowich versus Regina Cooney That's so mean because I have a gap That's so not nice I didn't even notice That's so not nice

Fuck you Fuck you Creator Class 3 featuring Ricky Berwick versus Eugenic CUNY Alst the Wall Okay you said it right Avie

Something funny and topical Gay Metallica be like Exit Puss Enter Bus Take my hand We're off to

Homo homo land That's so Dumb Not bad I have a little I have a little bit of some shit in my head For that song already actually Sleep with your ass open

Holding your penis tight And then There we go, a nice little teaser A course A little teaser for the next gem That we're going to be Wage Slave 583 Wait let me make sure I didn't skip someone

Yeah okay Wage Slate 583 I feel gay fuck you The Pippini Brothers Emporium presents their latest in Cuck technology Sneakovision good fight Chris soy what is this Situano

what is that I don't know what that is gay version of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata with no added lyrics but you play the piano like a faggot I read that last time and it's so stupid it's just Moonlight Sonata

it's the straight up same song There's no difference at all, dude By the way, I didn't say that, slur, I read it. There's a difference. Fun fact, the Challenger crew, there's a, there's a, so I did this on Secret Symbols.

There's an article from Push Square. Let me see if I could find it. It was trending yesterday and I was, I was laughing my ass off. It was about Final Fantasy. And it was, uh, uh,

uh, preview. Final Fantasy 16 still seems like a PS5 must have, but a couple of niggles need to be addressed. Right. That went pretty fucking viral. That went pretty fucking viral. That thread.

That thread was excellent. I'm so confused right now. This image of me looks so discodafee. What's that? What the hell are you looking at? What are you talking about? Yeah, what are you talking about? Are you going insane?

All right, I'm going to keep reading. Yeah, I don't got the patience. I don't know what's happening. What's a niggle? Fun fact, the Challenger crew likely survived over minutes, over a minutes after the initial explosion. You guys need to fucking learn English. I'm sorry. It's fucking insane.

Fun fact, the Challenger crew likely survived over a minutes, a minutes after the initial explosion. they were killed by the impact on the water. I don't think that's true. I think they were incinerated. But tell them Steve Dave. Ah, limp biscuits and gravy. John Strickland. I am announcing it right now.

Our next parody is F. Slurs in Paris. It is not. Merck's 1889. Call me Ahab the way I harpooned these white whales, parentheses American women. The first church of I first I thought it was a Metal Gear reference The first church of Keith David

Yo past the oregano Folk singer Bob Dylan has a song where he says The Hard R it's called Hurricane He does Pre-Rise Come around you nits Wherever you roam Is it a good song though?

It is a good song actually Like I like that song There's not really many Because it's about that I saw a movie about That character Hurricane The niggas

The other I think he's like a black boxer I think Or like a wrestler I can't remember I can't remember the story Some crazy story though Pre-Raz

Yeah the hurricane Yeah the hurricane Plakeet 96 Coming soon Church getting What? Church of getting kicked In the face by Cammy

Tonka the inbred cabbage patch kid Alaskan oil field trash Sue Hulk Tickle my ass hairs Nicky Ziggy Marcus Chainsawing through a locust While I'll taste thickly screaming

Dom am a surgeon. Lobotomized Jesus can't wait to lick on Hulk Hogan's sloppy wet fat fucking pussy like a dog in a water bowl. The sounds of mommy and daddy fighting downstairs, but it's drowned out by Derek and Sweeney's slang argument. Every time I come, it sounds like Squidward Walking. Oh, God, that's heinous. That's pretty cool, man. It comes out in spurts like that, too.

Jackson DuPont Badly Brave Hugger Derek The rhythm To the rhythm of bulls on parade Come on command Aetherian Progerian

Phrygian under Melfus 1 Air to the throne of haphazard And rounding out our list As always You know who The king The king of haphazard

N in word The king of haphazard And that'll be Come on command That'll be our show Cummies Cummys Cumbies, cummys, cummys, cummys, cummys, come com com comic, come, come, comic, cum, coming, coming, come, come, come. Come on, come in our throat.

About the shoot this load, shodder in our throat. All right, all right, that's it, that's it. Fucking get out of here. What you, slick upon my chode with the cum shot? Sure, I make that penis hot. Bye. For times they are with me again. Here, what's a story with Ruth and her zero alcohol beer?

Maybe she's doing dry January. She's a bit late. Could be on antibiotics. I'm not sure Ruth is fit as a fiddle. Maybe she has an important fiddle recital? No, that was last week. It wasn't bad, actually. Got the car with you tonight, Ruth.

No, I don't. You never need a reason to enjoy. great tasting beer. Heineken Zero. Zero Exhibition needed.