The Snark Tank - #16: Fictional Crushes

Episode Date: April 9, 2020

What was your first fictional crush? What influenced the goth girl trend of the 2000s? What was our most painful experience? What were the best movies of all time? Is Shrek 2 the best sequel ever crafted? Yes. It is. Why does Sweeny want to harm all who approach him? Would we set foot in Jurassic Park if Jeff Goldblum was guaranteed? Why was Dragon Ball Super so ... eh? Do British rappers inherently suck? Why does Gears of War 2 STILL have the best horde mode in any game ever? Has this pandemic made us all incels? Find out on todays horrible sounding episode of The Snark Tank! Some audio issues in this episode due to a primary discord recording (mostly Sweeny) but these issues are already resolved for next time. Thanks for your support. Enjoy the shitshow. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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Unless I'm there, of course. Save on every room every night when you click on Clayton at Claytonhotels.com. Clayton Hotels, our focus is always you. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Snark Tank podcast. We're back. It's me, Chris Reagan, and I'm here with Tom Sweeney and some black guy again. Hey.

Hey. My God, we're, uh, you might notice some audio discrepancies on this episode. compared to previous ones. And that is because we are doing this remotely. We're not really all that used to this. Not at all. This is very weird. I don't think I've ever talked,

I don't even, outside of like phone calls in like college. Like I don't think I've ever talked to Sweeney through a call like this. Literally like years. Over five at least. Yeah, because I mean we've lived together for a long time at this point.

You guys never thought about experimenting with each other? Uh, no. Some pretty gay shit there, my friend. Okay, chill out, chill out. Okay, we're here with another episode of the internet tank podcast. I'm sorry, it's the fucking quarantine, man. It's getting to me.

You're disgusting. So, this is a weekly conversational podcast. We did not have the podcast last week because things got a little hairy. We found, we had some information that led us to believe that we had a possible COVID case in our building and we didn't want to risk it by having everything. And it was like the same day that we were going to record it. Literally. We did not the email right before.

Yeah. So we didn't want to, uh, we want to have Derek come over and it was a bit like, it was a bit late to do, uh, like an impromptu kind of digital discord kind of thing right off the bat. So we're back this week. We're going to try and just do it this way for a while until things kind of settle down. It's not, it's not, it's just fixing itself. Yeah.

It's not ideal. This really does suck, like, a lot. But, uh, I don't know. Shit's, shit's going crazy. Like, New York is going fucking wild right now. New York is broken. Isn't it like the,

has the worst? I'm pretty, I'm pretty sure, yeah. I mean, New York is so compact that, I don't, I don't even think you really even need to, you could be probably,

you could probably be isolated in your apartment and still get it. Honestly. So, like. Terrible. Everyone there, stay safe. Yeah, so we just want to be careful. so if the audio is a little weird, we're going to be continuously working on improving that in the coming weeks. This is still kind of new to us, so bear with us.

But I just want to say thanks to everybody who's still, you know, paying for the Patreon and subscribing to our channel and stuff. It's really cool. We know that things are pretty tight right now. So I've gotten a couple messages that are like, oh, I'm so sorry that I have to stop whatever, stop the donations. It's like it's not a big deal. Just take care of yourself. We can keep trucking on. It's totally fine.

Yeah, so just to get us going, we got a question from David. He says, at what point do you become so famous that if you are killed, it is reported as an assassination and not a murder? I don't know. I don't even, oh, man, those are so objectively different things. Yeah, those are, assassination is one thing and a murder is another thing. Like, that means you don't know, like someone just walks up on you and kills you randomly. Like it's something like a spectacle would be assassinated opposed to like being murdered. It's like some guy robbed your house and then murdered you.

Well, it's like some guy from a few blocks away snaked when your head jumped off your neck. Well, I think that's how we typically say, right? Like, yeah, that's what an assassination is. But I think you can, you know, walk up and shank somebody and a crowd full of people. and you did your job, you know. I think you can't do that. So you can assassins creepy. Basically, you can assess it's creepy.

I think that's the whole point, right? I don't know the literal definition of assassinate actually come to think of it. If I were, yeah, look it up. I'm pretty sure an assassination requires some level of political power. Like, you can't assassinate Robin Williams, but you can assassinate like a president or like a political figure. I don't know if it really counts. too. I agree. I totally agree with that. Yeah. I don't think it counts if it's just like,

oh, this comedian was assassinated. Like that'd be a weird way to, that would be a weird sentence to hear. You couldn't, like, a helicopter didn't assassinate. I'm not, I'm going to stop there. Okay. An important person in a surprise attack for political or religious reasons. So yeah, pretty

much you got to be political or religiously assassinated. Yeah, that's what I assumed because I was thinking how come only presidents are assassinated and stuff and other people, like, Nipsey Hustle, for example. Yeah, he wasn't considered an assassination. But he was killed by somebody.

And he was motivated by whatever the fuck reason. Yeah, Jesus Christ. That Nick Walker wrote in, Hey, Huey, Dewey and Spanish. Okay, fuck you, sir. Which one are you, Derek? It doesn't matter. That's kind of the point of those ducks.

Yeah, I guess, right? That's pretty fucked up. Huey has on green, right? And Dewey has on blue. I don't know, man. What even characters are these? Are these Donald Duck's nephews? Yeah.

From Duck Tales? From Duck Tales. You know how long it's been since I've even considered watching Duck Tales? The Duck Tales song. I'm actually really got to sing in that song. The Duck Tales theme song. Yeah, I don't want to hear it, though. I don't want to hear it.

Anyway, he says, a coworker recently broke their arm and said it was the worst pain of their lives, and it made me wonder what yours was. Stay safe and don't cough on nobody. Oh, easy. You guys already know mine. Oh, is it when you broke all of your ribs? I didn't break all my ribs I broke like six of them

That's a pretty That's basically all Like after a lot of them You said your grandma was Whipping your ass after that too right She was gonna whip me Like I was getting in the ambulance She was coming

She was gonna hit me Like I saw it in her face And they were like hey chill out Like chill out like chill Like he might die right now if you hit him That is so That's so brutal That while you're at your lowest

When you're in agonizing pain And somebody wants to add more to it That's a That's impressive But I learned that lesson already Like, she didn't need to, it's her part. You know, usually when kids do something stupid, you got to be like, oh, you got to, you know, discipline him.

She was like, I'm going to discipline him right now when he's died probably. That's pretty fucked up, dude. Good, good times, you know. I don't know, man. I think, honestly, I don't know if anything necessarily physically, like from like blunt force or like a cut or anything. But I have two instances that I remember very, very distinctly that will never leave me. And it's waking up with alcohol poisoning was probably the most,

like metaphysical pain I've ever been in in my life where I just felt like my body was attacking me and I couldn't run away because it's me so like I was just stuck in a state of just like it was almost as if someone was using telekinesis on my brain in my body I went I was asleep I woke up at like 7 a.m.

and I was in bed till 8 p.m. And I walked out of my room at 8 p.m. Into the living room where everybody was and I was like hey guys I'm awake. Oh, that just sounds like a good time to me. It was, no, man. It was not rest. I was not resting.

I was just agonizing in a very rigid, in a very rigid pose so as not to disrupt my organs. It was so bad. Yo, alcohol poisoning is. Everyone should have it at least once. No. No. You're so, you know. You're such a, you know.

Psychopath. I'm not a psychopath. I just want everybody to understand the world thoroughly. Oh, my God. There's certain things that you don't. need to know. That's not, I disagree. You disagree.

The venture for knowledge is everlasting. I don't think that's viable knowledge to most people. Absolutely is viable. Because you can understand people better if you understand their pain. You're talking about striving for knowledge and you can't even remember your own YouTube login to the point. To the point where you made a channel with thousands of subscribers. I think over 10,000, I think.

It wasn't over 10. It was definitely over five. though. No, you had a decent amount, dude. You had a significant number of subscribers. And you can check. I think I remember the name of it. It was an American Sweden machine.

Oh my God, here we go. I wonder if I can contact you to about that and be like, hey, can I get my account back? It's definitely me. You definitely can't because they don't respond to me, so you definitely can't. But you should just, he lost the login information to his channel and then had to start a new one. Okay. Sweetie's right, though. It was just, it was just under 6,000.

Just under 6,000? Okay, so now that you guys brought up, you're shitting on me. Shameless plug time. Follow me on YouTube now. I got a whole YouTube channel. I've probably put in the link of signing here. You know, tune in to the Sweeney's Adventures. What's the name of your channel?

I think it's the Sweeney, the Magic Pine. You don't even know. He doesn't even know. All right, listen. I can't with this. What were you even talking about? I don't even remember. Oh, oh, the pain thingy.

It's somewhere between alcohol poisoning and waking up during surgery for like a split second. Oh, that's terrifying. Yeah, that was something that happened. And you weren't, you didn't have anesthesia? I did, but like anesthesia doesn't really work that well on me. I have like a weird tolerance that I didn't really realize because I'd been, I don't know, how do you compare your experience with anesthetic to anybody else's? You just, you get injected when you go to the dentist and they do shit.

And you're like, oh, I still feel a lot of, I still feel a lot of pain, but I assume this is how everybody feels. Because I see, I see. You know what I mean? So, like, I just, I went under for, like, this biopsy in, like, 2004 or 2005. And they put me under, and I was asleep. And then I woke up and felt really cold in places that I've never felt cold. And I passed out again, just from the shock of being. That's crazy.

Yeah, it's pretty wild. That is not a... I just don't... Weird shit to you, bro. I understand. For me, I just don't feel of pain the right way. So, like, I get hurt, and, like, I'm fine for the most part, but, like, probably somewhere my body's, like, damage.

What do you mean? When I broke my ribs, like, I was still up and, like, trying to walk around. Like, I got up after I broke a bunch of my ribs. And I was like, I'm in a lot of pain. It hurts. That's adrenaline. Like, I'm still very functional. No, but it happens to me all the time.

Like, every time I ever hurt myself really bad. Like, a cut, a bruise, concussion, like, anything. I'm still very capable of going around. but I'm like, there's definitely something wrong. Have you ever had a concussion? Yeah, I play football. Of course had a inccussion. Oh, right.

That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Yeah, it does. Derek. I've been heard a lot. You guys know I've told a story about me jumping out of the truck and stuff. But I think I've got to go with, and this one surprised me because I didn't break my foot because I got an X-rayed. I was running around my house in circles like I was a running back.

just pretending to do like certain moves and jukes and stuff like that because I was so into football like when I was around 15, 16 or whatever. And I hit the corner of one of the walls with my foot. I thought I broke it because it was the worst pain ever. I was like, oh, can't walk on it, whatever. I just bruised it insanely badly. And I was like, how does breaking your foot feel if that felt so agonized? It had to be on crutches for a week because I couldn't walk on it. And I was like, are you sure, like to the doctor?

Like I'm fucking questioning him with the x-rays. I'm like, are you sure didn't fucking break it? It hurts like any, I've never felt any type of pain like this before. I was like, this doesn't feel like a fucking bruise. And he's like, well, this is what it feels like when you bruise your bone, you bitch. And then he just sent me on my way. That's crazy. That's insane.

I can't even, I can't even like conceptualize a bruised bone. Yeah. It was insane. I couldn't believe how much it, I was like, how does this not feel like breaking something? Because I guess I've never, only the little, the small little bones in my wrist, those are the only things that I've broken. and that hurt a lot, but not that bad. So the bruised foot. Breaking bones hurts, man.

It's comedic. Bodies are fucking crazy to me. Like, I don't even know. Like, how does that shit heal and come back together? It's just so weird to me. That shit really, like, I'm, I've never broken a bone, and I'm convinced. I don't know if I've said this on the podcast before. I'm sure I've said it before.

But, like, I genuinely feel like I would be far more traumatized by seeing a part of me that has been solid. for my entire life suddenly not solid anymore. Or seeing my wrist or like my forearm with like a 90 degree angle in it would probably be more traumatizing than just the pain of breaking a bone. Yeah, because it's visual at that moment.

Like you've never seen your body bend that way. You're going to be like, oh my God, something's definitely really, really wrong with me right now. I think I would be fine seeing that. I think the only problem I would have is if I saw like a bone sticking out of my body, when I see that happening and people's skin like, horn and the bone sticking out, that shit freaks me out. But seeing

like limb flopping it shit, it's almost funny to me. I'm like, huh, that's silly. It's wacky. It reminds me of that scene. You're like fucking gumby now. It reminds me of that scene in Harry Potter where he like, like the, what is it? They try to heal his broken bone and they get rid of all the bones in his arm.

And then he has to sit in the hospital and grow with his bones back. That was the second one. Yeah. Checking your mom. No. I'm sure of sex. Something like that. What? That was a good. That was a good one. I don't think you watch the same movie. If you see a Harry Potter movie on Pornhub, it's probably not the right Harry Potter movie.

It could be the right one, actually. It could be. Yeah, I watched Dragon about Super on a porn website. Yeah, that's right. You ever think some senile fucking person trying to watch something legitimately and they ended up on Pornhub and they're watching the parody and they're like,

oh, I don't remember being this good. Wow, the nun's a really good movie. What do we got here? What do we got here? Jacob O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O I don't want to say odour It sounds like

Sounds rude to assume that that's how you say it. How would you feel about How would you feel How would you feel about dating a conjoined twin Either one individual or the pair of them? What would it take for them? What would it take for her slash them to steal your hearts? Oh, man.

I had never... I thought about that shit, bro. Really? I have never... I have straight up never once considered this as even like a remote possibility because honestly for a long time I just thought that that wasn't a real thing. There was like a famous one. There was a famous one. You know how there's like famous like, you know, bullshit.

Like it's like lock nest or whatever. And I'm like, I don't know. Okay. That's not modern. Wait, wait, time on to monsters. It's a fucking fake sea creatures. What are you? What is up?

Wait a minute. What do you mean? Loth nest monster is probably a fake sea monster. opposed to Siamese twins, which are real creatures. No, no, no, you're misunderstanding. They're not the same level of mythological. No, you're misunderstanding. It's not about whether or not they exist or not.

It's about the fact that I see them and I refuse to believe it. Oh, okay, gotcha. It's just such a shock. Like, I can't, I can't conceptualize like a cat dog person. Like, I just, I just... So you're choosing to be ignorant about it. Yeah. You don't even expose it information.

Like, at what point, here's my question. Here's my question. Here's my question immediately. You are joined. You have the same body as someone. Do you feel... What they feel? Yeah.

That's why you got to watch the interviews and shit of the, like that famous one. I was so curious because I never thought about that until I saw them. They were like, their body was kind of like one body just a little stretched and then they have the two heads. And there were so many like, bro, like who feels what? And then it's more of like, I feel this part of the body and this.

And then, of course, I'm sure they talked about sex, but I don't think I ever watched that one because that's what I wanted to hear. Because I wanted to know about that shit. I'm like, how do you guys bang? How do you guys date? How does this work? I would not touch one of them. I'm sorry. I hate to be like that person.

I hate to be the guy that sounds like a monster, but like that's just too much. I'm not, I'm barely ready for regular relationships. So, like, I can't, I can't give myself to two. people when I can barely even manage the one I'm in right now. Like, I can't do it. I'm sorry. Nothing against them. They're probably wonderful people, but like, I just can't. Yeah, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I can't handle it. It's, it's, it's just too, I don't like having to explain things. And I know that if I walked, if I walked, if I walked into a party with a two-headed girlfriend, I would, I, I, I couldn't, I, I couldn't, I, I couldn't, I, I couldn't, just like walk in and go start mingling you have to talk that's not like that's not like a wheelchair you know where you could you could walk in with like a wheelchair and no one's going to ask or no one's going to be that curious about it it's like ah whatever wheelchair a wheelchair are you talking about

having a what do you think i don't know you didn't you didn't specify it the fuck man needs to specify in that scenario walking with a wheelchair and then a human in it like dude oh my god your your concussion is really showing today the fucking btis bitch. No, I just think like you can walk in with like a girlfriend who's in a wheelchair or like a girlfriend in like crutches or a girlfriend

with like all sorts of different shit. Like a blind girlfriend or like all sorts of things and you probably wouldn't have to explain a lot. But like with when your girlfriend has two separate heads, you can't just sort of strut in there and pretend like nothing is abnormal. Like that's not something you could just walk. Imagine the uncomfortability of trying to have sex

at one of them when the other one's in the room just trying to go to sleep. Yeah. And you're plowing the one on the right while the one on the left is just trying to get some rest. So wait, are we talking about, are we talking about two people like, we're talking about two like bodies that are like joined it, like joined it like the side, right? Yeah, we're not talking about the fucking double-headed creature like the demigorgia from D&D.

Okay. I couldn't do it. That's it. It's got to be so I mean, because here's the thing, if they're just, if you're just stable to another person, they immediately correct that with easy surgery. That's true. So I don't think that scenario would really exist. It would have to be way more conjoined to where they're sharing organs and stuff. That's so fucking maddening, dude.

That's insane. Oh my God, that scares me. What if you're sharing organs, but you have two asses? How does that work? Like, what do you do? Double dip. I'm getting so, I'm actually shaking right now. I'm so, I'm so.

I'm sorry if there are any two-headed people listening to this fucking. Can you imagine? Like our one, like our biggest fan, like our, we had a fan listening to our podcast right now who's like the richest person she was like I'm gonna donate a million dollars to the snark tank and then like this episode aired I'm really sorry if it is conjoined um I know that this is like a fucked scenario because you know it's so that I'm feeling bad like my brain's like you should probably stop saying these things and it's not good look look look I'll I'll I'll rescue this because I um

even though it would be difficult I say I am open to you know, well, as long as they're, you know, a woman, I'm, like, open to, like, whatever. You know what I mean? Like, as far as somebody's in a fucking wheelchair, someone's got two heads or fucking six breast or whatever. You impress me, dude. Like, I, you. I really do value a fucking connection, right? Connection first, and then we'll see what we're working with afterwards.

I value a connection, too, but I don't want two connections that's on one body, you know? Dude, I was trying to save this. I was trying to save this so we can keep the fucking fan. Yeah, that one fan. Or the two fans. The two fans. Oh, my God. Next question.

Oh, my Lord. Oh, my God. Okay. Jay Cunningham asks, hey, you pieces of talent. This is the last time I'm going to be able to ask a question for a while. Thanks to the current state of the world. No worries, Jay. Thanks for supporting us.

however long you were. So I hope it makes it on to the show. Anyway, simple question. Favorite movies? It's a pretty generic, normal question, but since he's, you know, not going to be able to ask a question for a while, I figured why I can toss it in here.

Movies or movie? Movies, plural. Okay. You go, Derek. All right. Mine are pretty generic. Shawshank Redemption, Gladiator. I think it's one of my favorite trifectas of, like,

I love Ridley Scott. I love Hans Zimmer. I love Russell Crow. I love anything that's ancient, like Roman shit or anything that's like Latin stuff. The only thing I don't like is... Was Joaquin Phoenix in that? He was, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Fantastic movie. I love it. I love the costumes. I actually, there's this guy, Tigers of Gall. He has that Tiger helmet and then it has the teardrop on it. Oh, yeah. That fucking helmet is so...

I wanted to buy the real one, but it's, you know, I'm fucking... I'm rich. and so I'm hoping that somebody can 3D print that shit for me because it seems pretty possible now. But yeah, that and then the Matrix because I'm huge into sci-fi and then fucking martial arts and that shit blew my fucking mind.

Gladiator's fucking awesome. That's one of the first movies, I think. I'm pretty sure this is true. It's one of the first movies where they had somebody an actor die in the middle of filming it and they actually recreated the actor with CG like pretty convincingly. Like even back then.

which is pretty fucking wild. That's insane. Yeah. I'm actually not aware of this. I didn't, yo, I swear, I didn't notice it until,

like, I think I was just watching some, I think I just had watch Mojo like playing in like, on autoplay, because that's how they make all their money, probably. I need to,

because I have like every version of this movie. I need a fucking, like, how do I not know about this? It's, it's not, well, I guess like back then it wasn't that public

because it was like, you know, the internet wasn't really that fucking. Yeah, because that was like fucking 2000 or something. some 2001 or 2002, so I forget what it was. It is now.

Yeah, so I think most people just assumed that they filmed it before he died or whatever. But, like, yeah, there's like some digital shit that they did where they took like one shot and just sort of recreate. They just sort of changed the lighting and just took the face and like put it on. There's something crazy that they did in that movie that's like actually like really, really ahead of its time. You're blow my mind. I'm going to look into it as after we're done. Yeah. What the fuck?

You should. It's pretty wild. It blew my mind when I saw it too. Or at least I hope I saw it and I'm not. just making the shit up. And that's why I'm like, I'm like, maybe it's a, I'm still, I'm still looking at whatever. I'm pretty confident that it's a real thing. But yeah, I think, I'm a big, I'm a Tarantino person, like, which is also kind of a generic choice, but like, I think, uh, Inglorious Bastards is like such a fucking incredible movie to me. And I,

honestly, that's the one. It's, it's that, Spider-Man 2. Of course. And Shrek 2, of course. Okay. Is, is Shrek 2 real, though? No, no, no. It's not a real movie. But I will say Shrek 2, as far as like, I'm not even kidding really when I say this, as far as like a sequel to a movie and a franchise, I think Shrek 2 is probably one of the best

sequels, probably ever. It's up there. Because Shrek 1 is so like, Shrek 1's funny, I guess. It's not aged the best animation-wise, but neither is Toy Story, really. So like, you watch Shrek and it's like, oh, that's kind of like entertaining.

But then Shrek 2 is actually like genuinely kind of a good movie, weirdly wholesome and it's got like the right amount. It's got the right. level of, um, it's got the right mix of crude and wholesome that like allows it to kind of like walk this line of just being kind of like an entertaining, an entertaining romp. And also it's got like one of my

favorite uses of I Need a Hero ever. Yeah. It's just so good. No, that wouldn't be on my favorite movies list. It's pretty mad. I would say a movie that you've seen upwards of like ten times. Yeah. That's definitely Inglorious Bastards in Spider-Man too.

I love Django also. I feel pretty good. Yeah. The movie is ridiculous. I'm going to say into the Spiderverse definitely one of my favorites as well it's gonna sound like a fucking like whiny teenage girl but I love Donnie Darko I love that movie That's a very goth girl thing to say

I was a goth girl on a six foot black man's body Like most of high school Ah okay That's so scary that's such a scary visualization Terrifying visage And it wasn't at the movie I just I can't I adore Empire Strikes Back

Really? I fucking love that movie. I think that's the best sequel in any movie ever. Maybe. You might be right. You might be right. I mean, especially what it did to pop culture. What it did, it fucking, it changed shit for like forever.

I don't know if it holds a candle to Shrek, too. Star Wars doesn't have Antonio Banderas. Wow, that's very true. True. I mean, Pussy and Boots is the best character ever created. My favorite character is. see it, Tim's. That's so gross.

Someone please draw that, holy shit. Yeah, someone draw. Please draw pussy boots with Tim's on and a Yankee hat and holding a gun. I'd pay for it. This just sounds like, this just sounds like all my cousins. Modo zealot, Rodin. What is the most dark and screwed up inner thought that you have had? One you know you'd never act on,

but is scared what, what, one, oh, this is written a little weird, one you know you'd never act on, but is scared you that you could even think such a thing. Okay, I get it.

Oh, man. I don't know if I want to say, because mine is definitely really bad. Okay, so I, I don't, I'm, I'm going to pick the most, the most okay thing that I could say on,

on a public, on a public forum like this. I have definitely been walking behind people, and like children on escalators or like staircases and thought like, you know, I really could I could kick this kid like way down this flight of stairs like pretty easily. Like with very little effort, very little holding me back. Gravity is really, really my speed right now.

Like it'll do most of the work. I don't have to do a damn thing. I would, and like what are they going to do? They're going to believe that someone just kicked a kid down a flight of stairs randomly for no reason who would do such a thing? Like, no one would do that. Like, babies are dumb, it fell. Yeah.

Not exactly. I've definitely thought that. I would never kick a baby down a flight of stairs. But, I don't know. The brain is really fucking terrible. Like, I'm firmly positive that the only difference between, like, a raging psychopath and, like, a normal human being is just the ability to deny the brain of its thoughts. And just to be like, hey, listen, we're not going to do.

If you, if you're like, you be given one time, then that's it. You got to fight it. That's a constant bout, but you got to fight it one day. Look, the brain wants peace. The brain wants peace. And that's why so many mothers that they, they're in therapy and they're crying that I can't believe I have visions or thoughts of throwing my baby out the window or fucking just bashing their brains out.

And then they're like, it's fine. Like, you have this little thing that won't shut up. And your brain just wants it silence. So then it goes to the deepest dark, it's part of itself. And it's like, hey, how about we do this? And I think it's like the worst thing ever, but it's like, it happened. There's also that cute aggression thing where you like, like you see a kitten or something. And you're like, oh, it's so cute.

I just want to throw it into the ground as hard as I can. I've never thought of that ever. I've definitely thought it. I don't have that at all. It's not about harming. It's about, yeah. You just want to like squeeze it until it can't survive anymore. I do not have that even remember.

I have 100% had that. I'm afraid of touching cute things. I don't want to hurt them. I, yeah, cute things. It's like, it's, you know, it's the, the mechanism in nature. Things are so cute to have, it's a defense mechanism, right? Yeah. Like, it completely works on me.

When I see the little adorable things, all I want to do is protect them at all costs. And I have no thought ever that strays to, like, I want to pop it or something. Let's see the worst you've ever thought of. You know, I just, I don't have, I don't have that many things. I think the only thing that happens sometimes is it's, you know, it's just like, I don't want to get too deep into it, but it's just like a member of my family where they're kind of a scumbag. And I think, I think if, if properly diagnosed, it would be like legit sociopath. And I've definitely had visions of beating this person to death. You know, I've had like, I've had visions of like, you know, this person deserves. the most wholesome ass whooping I could just muster up to where my hands are now

just applesauce, you know, because I've fucking wailed on them so goddamn hard. Absolutely. I've had shit like that. Yeah, yeah. That's fairly normal, I think. I've gotten so angry. I've gotten so angry about this, like,

random things that I want to make a bomb that's so big, it'll destroy the planet. Like, such a serious bomb. Like, such a, like, such a serious explosion that it will destroy. You have brought this up on so many occasions. It's not a joke. It's like real.

And the only thing, the only reason that it's okay for you to bring it up is that I know that you're just fucking incompetent enough that you wouldn't be able to carry out anything even close. I am not good enough at chemistry or anything to be able to do that. He can't remember his YouTube login. He's going to make a, uh, uh, a point. Like a quantum bomb. Like something. something to like level the fucking like I want you would you would try to be so big so big that no matter where you are on this planet you would it would just go missing and I've gotten so

mad that crossed my mind and I literally went to church afterwards I was like 16 I was I got to go to church because that was a bad that was a bad daughter you got so mad that you went to church Jesus Christ shit is that BK Dino wrote in says hello again Trevor Reagan sweetie bill Nautis and Count Nigula. Oh, my God. I felt so there. I should be, I feel like I should be the Belnades, but like, okay. Your boy, Skidnig.

Of course. Skidnick. Your boy, Skidnig returns for possibly the last time in a while, lost my job recently, but hoping to bounce back if this viral outbreak decides to take a day off. Best wishes to you. BK. Dino. I'm sorry about that, man. Stay safe.

Yeah, stay safe, man. Got another hypothetical, but before that, I wanted to mention, and this is cool. This is the main reason I chose this question. I wanted to mention that I was inspired by a question asked in the last episode, leading me to start work on a snark tank fan game in my spare time, along with the second project, Untitled Sweeney game. I got three playable characters on the way with Chris's sections of the campaign playing like a mix of Halo 3 in the recent Doom games. Derek's being a third person homage to Mass Effect, and Sweenies is a Persona 5 style JRP gameplay. Hope to show it off when it's ready and earn the coveted Sweeney seal of a pro-vents. approval.

You're already earning it, man. That's fucking wild. That is insane. My guy, if you deliver that shit, that is, I will straight up pay you. For real. That's fucking astounding. That bullshit out of the way, the question I wanted to ask was whether or not you would all want to visit Jurassic Park slash world, if it were real.

Goldblum included. Hope you're all doing well in these uncertain times. Still want Derek's organs juices. No, never. Yeah, no organs. I'm not an organ donor ever or anything. I'm going to liquefy my organs when I don't. Orgates are too valuable, so no one can happen.

I would, I, you would not catch me dead in, in Jurassic Park. You would not catch me alive in Jurassic Park. I would not be in Jurassic Park. I think humans are too stupid to like keep that shit in order. Yeah. It's not, it's not going to happen. There's just no. There's no reality.

There's no reality. There's no fucking fan fiction where I would do that. Even in a fan fiction as someone else wrote, they'd write it out that I would do it. Then they'd wake up and it'd be different. Because I wouldn't fucking do that. I, I am so afraid of this world's, Old creatures. They make sounds that don't even make sense.

Yeah. The sound of a T-R-R-W-E-Rex, though? We don't know the sound of a T-Rex, though. We don't know exactly. We can't mimic it. They might sound like complete pussies for all we know, honestly. Some archaeologists or scientists, whatever the fuck, people that study, or Pellate, whatever, they theorize some of them sound more like birds where they squawk and they don't roar.

They're probably loud swaps. But, like, that's just another theory. But then I said, like, what about fucking alligator? They're like dinosaurs and they sound ferocious. So, you know? I guess I guess they would sound pretty, pretty horrifying. Considering dinosaurs are so huge. This is what I just thought.

So sorry, sorry, I just watched Tiger King because everybody kept talking about it. Yeah. And if they can't, there's many problems with those zoos and just having tigers. Now imagine having a zoo of animals that are four times the size. Maybe even 10 times the size, actually. There's not enough meat for, like, even just probably, like, a handful of them. Like, how are you going to feed a fucking... How are you going to feed a T-R-X, really?

And how much fucking green would you need for, like, a brannosaurus or something? They're fucking massive. They're, like, way bigger. They're way bigger than T-Rexes. That's probably, like, part of the reason why they died out, even just, media or aside. I just, I couldn't think of it. I'm scared right now, actually.

I mean, they're probably not that big of it. Like, maybe they, maybe they show up. No, they're huge. What if they... Bronis was like way bigger than an elephant, right, right, I understand that, but what if they sounded, what if a T-Rex sidled up to you,

and it sounded like, it was like, look, no, look, if it sounds to me, it was like, I would run because it's so big still. It's keeping the size of my arms. I thought of just like a fucking T-Rex going, like that scene when the fucking, when it puts its eye up in Jurassic Park,

like up to the fucking car or whatever, like you see its eye, and then just go, uh, oh my gosh. Yeah, sorry, there's no amount of money

in this world that made me hang out with a dinosaur. Yeah, you would have to pay me like a substantial, like I would do it for no less than a billion dollars.

Like, you've got to, you got to really make it worth it. Because I don't know, I think I'm, I'm small enough that I could probably sneak into places

where they probably couldn't get me. But like, I feel that's not true. I think it definitely. You'd be, you'd be way, like, amazed by how much

faster and stronger they are than you. No, it's not about faster. It's about, like, me just, I'm going to hide in like a box, and then I just won't leave. And then it just break the box and go into it probably smell you, too. No, they can't smell me. Yes, they can. No, they're birds. Birds don't smell.

They see. Okay. You may be so angry as now. Zal Hudson wrote in. Salutation is you snarkaleptic Sween slaves. What fictional world from any medium would make a good tabletop RPG or setting in D&N? Indeed, don't say Halo, there already is one. I didn't know that there was one.

That sounds fucking... Yeah, there is. Yeah, I thought immediately, Castlevania. Castlevania sounds cool. Probably Mass Effect, honestly. That just sounds like it's already... Has most of the framework done. I kind of see a lot of the...

Especially if you use figures and stuff, too. Yeah. I see just... I would buy that immediately, so, I mean, I'm pulled out on board. I am not a tabletop person, but I would absolutely play a tabletop mass effect game. Like, without a doubt. Like, that sounds fucking.

and right up right in my house. Maybe Dark Souls, but like, maybe a Souls game. That's just already kind of like what you have, though. It's just like you could, you could, that's kind of what D&D is, isn't it? It is, it is similar to that in a sense, but like, I would like the idea of more. Because, like, the problem with Dark Souls is that there's just too much shit going on for you to deal with that once. You got kind of kind of deal with your bullshit at a time. So I would like to be more than one person, like a tabletop version and that would be pretty cool, I guess.

I would like, I like, I like, I like side. Like, the main reason I don't really do. D&D is just because, like, I'm not really that enthralled by fantasy. Like, I feel like fantasy is just one of those things where it's like... I'll play it in, like, a video game, but I have no desire to, like, go to like a fucking, you know, like a

renaissance fair and be, like, enthralled with the olden times or anything. It's just like... Truth be told, I... I am... like fantasy. I'm definitely more of a steampunk fan. Like, I definitely like steampunk more. Like, I like the idea of old and new put together. That's definitely

like my niche. Like, we'll Smith's Wild Wild West? You want that fucking spider? Huh? I'm thinking like just pretty like right around the time of the Industrial Revolution. Wiki Wawa. Wicawawah. Wicay. That sounds pretty hot.

Don't sing that song, please, guys. Stop. Take it down to the Wild West. Yeah, I don't know. I never, I never no disrespect. The steampunk thing. I never got it. Oh, that's cool. Thanks. No, yeah. I agree with Chris, though. The sci-fi is like my favorite thing.

Just everything like that intrigues me. Just futuristic stuff and space and whatnot. But I am dark fantasy. Stuff like that is really cool to me too. So like when you talk about a Renaissance fair, like I like the idea of having like a fucking, a sword and a fucking smoked turkey leg. And I'm good to go.

I like the turkey leg part of it. I like swords. The turkey, like, if you go to, like, medieval times or something, the turkey leg is the highlight. Like, you don't give a shit really about the idiots of this show. Yeah. I went to one recently. It was pretty dope, honestly. I haven't been to one recently.

Like, I went to one in high school. It was other high school or junior high school. I think it was like... Yeah, I was one in middle school too in the city. The one in Jersey, right? Yeah, yeah, I think so. Yeah. And we went to, we went to it, and I was like, I hate all this.

But then they sat us in, like, that coliseum where they had the people hitting each other with sticks, and it looked stupid, but then they gave me this big ass turkey leg, and I was like, oh, I like this, I like this now, and they gave me, like, a chalice and shit, it was cool. I like that part of it. Like, I would, I would eat at a, like, if they had, like, a, and I'm sure this exists, I just haven't bothered to look for it. Just somewhere, yeah.

But, like, if they had, like, a medieval themed, like, just restaurant where they gave you, like, a fucking huge ass slab of meat, like, a fucking golden chalice with wine, and, like, that, that'd be fucking, I'm all into that. Aorns full of ale and shit. Yeah, like, dude. I'd be totally down. I think the food, honestly, like, the food part of, like, fantasy is, like, the most interesting

part to me, which is, like, really expected. What about the murder? The murder is definitely part of it. And, like, a stadium? That shit's fucking probably dope. Yeah, but, like, I always just think of, like, oh, this would be cooler with, like, lasers. I like how intimate it gets when you have a sword. Because you've got to run it into them, you kind of get stuck on them sometimes.

Yeah, you go to wiggle it out. You're in time. Your problem. You're a problem person. Somebody should keep an eye on you. I'm fine. Yeah, okay, sure. Yeah, that's what everybody says.

I'm fine, dude. Don't wait. I haven't snapped yet. I'm still me. Yeah, I don't know. I would say probably like Castlevania or something. Or maybe... I think Mass Effect is probably like the one that I'm... Yeah. I probably Mass Effect definitely would be dope. Yeah. You still have to play Mass Effect. Yeah, dude. Or June. And now we've got all the time.

I have all the time in the universe now. I can probably stream playing Massifite too, so I have no reason not to play. You should do it. And then you could... And then you can come back and be like, fuck, I can't believe I've waited this long. Like, what the fuck's wrong with me? I'm an idiot. Okay, you calm down. Thank you. I just wish there was a way to... Is Mass... I don't think Mass Effect 2 is backwards compatible on Xbox yet.

I think it's just... Is it? Is it two? You played it. Yeah, absolutely. I was playing one. Really? You can play all three of them.

Really? Like the discs? Absolutely. Oh shit. Right before Indromeda came out, all three of them became backwards compatible. Oh, fuck. I did not know that because, like, I thought... Because, like, on the Xbox store, like, you can only buy Mass Effect One.

You can only download that one. Why? That's so stupid. I don't... Oh, I guess because it's not... it's not tied to EA. There's, uh,

it's, that's, it has to be that. Oh, yeah, that makes a ton of sense, actually, whoops.

I, I can't believe, I can't believe I missed out on something that obvious. Yeah. Well, I have multiple, I have bought,

and I have like, I could give you, uh, two and three, because I have multiple copies of it for some reason. Well, I have the discs for, for two and three.

I just didn't, I didn't, yeah, then fucking do it. Yeah, I'm gonna do that. I'm definitely gonna play two and three. Yeah,

fuck. Okay. I knew it. I was actually just finally going to stop being lazy and download the the the the the mods I need so I can have controller support on PC. Oh yeah. I just I just haven't done it. I was like, why don't I do this so I can stream Mass Effect because I talk about it so much. You know what? I never actually played any of the DLCs for three either. That's the thing that fucking I keep coming back to it. That's the shit that makes and I feel like a lot of people miss this because even I was watching a review of a what was it red letter media. They're reviewing PCA. card and they were just talking about how it's a rip-off of mass effect and it is and but um rich evans even said because everybody says it peti pie says everybody says everybody says oh three shit

like everybody just says it and i feel like no one went back and play the dLCs when you put them all on the game is fucking amazing it really competes with two because of how charming and and you get so many different answers you know exactly what the reapers are yeah you know you know you know you know you You know there's so much You get this other stupid Jamaican alien Who's kind of funny I like him This guy Javik

Yeah he has a Jamaican accent For some fucking reason And like I keep saying The Citadel DLC It came out as a part one and two And that is the real ending So I always say Fuck the other ending

That everybody was mad about The Citadel where you get some shore leave And you do all this crazy shit It's the most charming thing ever It's perfect I thought yeah I didn't even I guess I just didn't bother with it

Because I was actually okay With Mazavex 3 I didn't have a problem with it really that much. Yeah, it's wild. That game's so good. But speaking of, since you brought it up, Red Letter Media,

what's his name? What's Mike's, the Plinket guy's name? Mike, it's like S something. Yeah, I forget his last name, but, yeah. Mike from Red Letter Media recently voiced in a pilot that aired on Adult Swim that was created by my good friend, Zach Hedl and Michael Cusack. It's called Smiling Friends.

You can look it up on Adult Swim. I totally forgot to bring this up. They are some of the funniest people I know, and that pilot is, So great. So if you want to check that out, please do give them some support. I'm sure Adult Swim is like monitoring that link

and seeing how much traffic it gets. Yes. Yes. So do your boy a favor and watch some, watch a nice little episode of some smiling friends. Yeah, for sure. Definitely. It's fantastic to see that and see,

see that because it's such a weird thing to me, seeing like the Adults Swin's been around for so long. And then seeing people that, so my first experience with, Michael was, I think it was in 2012 when I saw the Yolo video and I was fucking like losing my shit. I was like, this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. This is great. And then because it threw you, Chris, I think we all went out for drinks and then, and then Zach was there. And I was like, this is so weird, man, like, fucking how many years ago? Like six years ago, I was like watching

your shit. And then I found out of a psychic pebbles at some point. And then I'm like, we're all just chilling here and then cool guys. And now all of a sudden, they got a pilot up on adult swim. I'm just like this, that shit's surreal, man. It is insane. I'm super proud of those guys. Zach was literally the first guest on this podcast. He was right. That's right. So, uh, Jack is one of the, he's probably the first man ever met in my life. And I know a ton of hilarious people. He's, he's up there. He's a unique soul. Like that he's like naturally funny. Like he's not just, it doesn't seem, you know, like how there's people that are like, oh, I got to be on. Yeah. Yeah. They're like, oh, I got to be on. Or, yeah, he's just, he's just, fucking, just a fucking, just a funny,

a silly person. I'm not gonna continue sucking his dick, but like, yeah, just, uh, give that pilot a watch. It's, it's,

it's, it's pretty, I can't do his voice. I can't, come on, Chris, keep on, I'm doing what you're doing,

man. Just, uh, watch the pilot. It's really good. And, uh, yeah, that's about it.

I think, uh, we've got a few more here. Okay, uh, what do we got? Nelmeco wrote in. He says,

if you could fuse with someone, like they do in Dragon Ballzzi. Who would you fuse with? This actually got me thinking, can you fuse with the opposite sex? I don't want, I don't, I don't care. Like, what happens? I don't care. I just don't care about that.

Well, Dragon Ball Z is clearly sexist and we'll never find out. Absolutely. Yeah. But I never, like, because, like, that's just adding a whole level of problems we don't really need to have, you know. You could fuse with another, you could fuse with a woman, yeah, but then you're just going to add that whole problem. And you're like, I'd rather fuse with a man just to keep everything, you know,

keep the genitalia. looking like not come not yeah keep everything symmetrical I think the uh there you go imagine you fuse sort of girl and it is your dick immersion from a vagina pretty much that's so scary yeah because women never fuse in that show well not that not well they do

they don't and super they fuse what keflah oh I didn't watch that and super is like I don't know man it's it's it's it's it's it was super's really entertaining but it's also look you know look I just want to say it it kind of seemed like remember when South Park was making fun a family guy.

Yeah. And how they make their shit is manatees like put their jokes together. Yeah. I feel like Dragon Ball Super is that. Like they're just throwing a bunch of shit out of a wall and I'm like, all right, this is the next thing we're going to do. And I'm like, where is this going? Like they, this billions of

universe and tournaments and this and all these people, Super sane Rose and this and I was like, all right. All right, come on guys. We love Dragon Balls, you're a little. But then what happened is Super came up while we were adults. and we've already watched a ton of fantastic shows and you're like, whoa, this show is really not good. Whoever wrote this is insane.

Who wrote this? I think Dragon Ball Z is still pretty good. I don't think it's just nostalgia. I think it is just... It's definitely nostalgia, man. I love that show. And I look at it and I'm like, whoa. No, I don't think so.

I disagree. I think there's a heavy amount of nostalgia that helps it, like, be really great. But I think Dragon Ball Z is still a good show regardless of whether or not there's install. in it. The problem is now, it just, like, back then they kind of invented the, they kind of like

pioneered the formula of just like transformations, and that was like cool at the time because it was like the only thing that was doing it. But now we live in a post-Dragon Ball Z world where everybody has copied Dragon Ball Z. So when you see Dragon Ball... So when you see Dragon Ball super doing the same thing again, it's kind of like

oh, well, this was cool the first time, but like this isn't going to work again. Like you can't, you can't just have like random transformations in here and just expect that to be the driving force of the show. It's like, that's, that's not interesting. And also, I just think the arcs and sagas were less interesting. Yeah, because we, the most iconic characters were already introduced.

You're not like, okay, I'd say Lord Beres, or what do you say, Bearest? I think Lord Bearest was a really good character. He was interesting, definitely. Beers is cool. I like, I think, yeah, I think Pass, there's, obviously there's some good characters in there, but I feel like he's the only thing that comes close to, like, the characters that were introduced in DBZ. Yeah. Goku helps

Friza, who is the man that eradicated his whole planet. His species is gone because of that guy. And then Vita also agreed when Vartita was pretty much one of his slaves. Okay. It just makes you think, like, he's got a sociopath. They're psychopaths. They're just stancholaps. They're just lunatics.

I mean, all they care about is funny. They don't care about anything else. They just care about fighting and getting strong. They don't care who they harm, who they hurt. It's, fuck it. Yeah. Let's just get stronger together. It's weird. think I think there's more merit to Dragon Ball Z than there is to Super, I think. Absolutely.

From just like a, even if the writing in a lot of, even in like all the Dragon Balls really have been like pretty, ah, whatever. I do think. I think, I think, I think, I think, but I think. Because of what it's, what it's, because it's not an action show, it's a comedy show, and it is funny. Right. You know, it has a basis already.

I don't know. I just, I think for the most part, like, the character interactions in Z were like really, really good. And in Super, they just kind of felt like in Super it felt like they reset a lot. Like, Vegeta had a whole bunch of character development throughout Z

and then like in Super it's just gone. Oh my God, Wichita. And it's just really weird because he was like the best character in Z. So like I just don't know why they would just walk back. Uh-uh. He's definitely the best character in Z. He's the biggest

piece of shit in Z though. Yeah. He's a, he's a fucking, he's a huge piece of garbage. But like he is... That's what makes him a good character. that's like exactly why i mean that's i mean i guess he's still a piece of shit you really do have brain damage it's such a weird no virgin is the worst he's a piece of shit okay sure so many problems are his fault objectively fact technically everything is freeza's fault no yes yes yes yes well i guess yeah

he started at all yeah freeza is literally the entire reason why goku is on earth to begin with which is the only reason anything bad happens you're right right freeza is awesome i love friza i love his laugh I love how racist he is. Friza is such a piece of shit and you're like, oh, Freeza is great, but I don't know about that guy. That's kind of the problem with Super though, is that like it relies so heavily on Freeza. Like if you're watching Super for the first time, like you have no fucking clue why that matters. But like you could watch, like I watched Z and I didn't know anything about Dragon Ball.

Like I watched Dragon Ball way later. And I loved Z without any, without needing any of the pretext of the original Dragon Ball to enjoy. it. But like, Super feels very, very much like, you need Z to really care about anything that's happening in Super. It's like a straight-up sequel, that's why. I guess so, yeah. And I feel like, and then obviously Toriyama is famous for forgetting shit. Do you remember Launch?

Lunch? You remember Launch? Who is that? It's Krillin's girlfriend. Oh, the girl, like the blonde chick or the blue-haired chick? The blonde. The blonde. That's right.

Wait, she might have been blue-haired. I don't remember. And then it was a blonde chick that was dating Yomcha, right? No, fuck, I don't even remember. We can't even remember, but, like, he forgot about, like, one of these characters entirely. I like Toriyama, though, because he doesn't seem to care. He's just like, yeah. I forgot it.

So what? Watch it. You're going to watch it anyway, and you're going to argue about it on podcasts that have nothing to do with anime at all. You're very right. Also, we had a question that we completely forgot about the whole fusing with people. We ended up talking about how much we were disappointing a Dragon Ball Super. I would fuse with any of the people that I am tagged in on Instagram because, oh, hey, they have. glasses and short hair. This is Chris.

Ha ha ha ha. I would fuse with them since nothing would change, according to everybody on the fucking internet. Remember tagging you in something, or I think I clipped like four different people or something. There's always these like cringy kids on TikTok with like short hair and glasses.

One of them was on TikTok for sure. I'm sure one of the ones. That's just so fucked up. Every time I see it, I'm just like, this is just terrible. Constantly. Constantly. If you, if you put glasses

and short hair on Bill Cosby, people would comment, oh, look, it's Chris Reagan. I'm so fucking sure of it at this point. I've seen people who don't even look close to people, even. Dude, it's so funny because everyone does it. If you look up at Chris Raygon on fucking Instagram,

we're going to see so many just skinny white people with glasses on that don't look anywhere near him. I'm like, how does that look like you? I wish I could find that post. This puts me... I'm gonna find it. This is the thing that gives me explicit authority to speak on race relations, because now I understand what it's like for like when a...

Oh, hey, you look like when somebody says, hey, this black person looks like that black person. And even though they don't look the same, I feel like now I have the exact same experience. No... Yeah. Exactly. Exactly.

No difference. No, absolutely no difference. Their pain. In fact, I would go so far as to say, I understand it a little bit more and a little bit better. You need to stop talking now. You can stop talking. If I could fuse anyone, I would definitely fuse with like, I don't know, somebody with like the military launch codes. What is wrong?

Jesus. So that should have I would just, I'd hold the fucking plan at ransom. Okay, so I just found the post. This, I did this in July. Please. Shit, I might have been in Norway at this point. So I guess I was just like fucking, hey. Oh, yeah, I was because that's when I discovered I started using TikTok for the first time.

That's where I saw you, Chris. So I just retweeted it right now. So Sweeney, go and look at this and tell me these three motherfuckers are not Chris Raygun. I actually did a good job. I'm literally excited. I remember seeing this. The cartoon guy from fucking Johnny Bravo, I get constantly. That is for sure.

you. That's not for sure me. It's just a person with glasses and short hair. He has the same demeanor. That fucking cartoon from Johnny Bravo, that dude looking back with the fucking glasses and the short hair, I can't even count. I can't even begin to fucking count. Dude, it's so fucking funny. I first saw, I first saw that meme because it was attached to a, when the beats fire, but then a British niggas starts rapping. I was looking all mad. I was laughing so hard. I agree.

There's so few British people that sound decent when they're rapping. It's fucking awful. It's not even if they sound decent, is that they have no fucking bars. Like every British rapper I hear is just spitting about fucking nursery rhymes and shit. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? Spitting about the nursery?

You fucking crump it, be an idiot. Get the fuck out of here. I don't want to listen to what you got to talk about. Wait, what are you talking about? They have very weak, weak rap lyrics. I mean, they're weak, but then it's also just like the way that they enunciate. It's just not good. Like, there's a group called Foreign Beggers.

It's this fucking Indian guy that basically is grade A under A. And then there's fucking this guy that's like KSI. They're like these British fucking, like Nigerian and this fucking Punjab fuck. And they're actually, because they mixed, they actually got me a little bit because I used to hate dubstep. And then they kind of started incorporating it a little bit to the music. And I'm like,

oh, I can fuck with some of this. But a foreign beggars, it's just like, I like them. But then they also just, yeah, and then like, oh, you got a whole lot of hype. And I'm like, ugh. Like sometimes just makes me cringe. Whole lot of this and a lot of this, bro. And I'm like, you don't sound good.

You, like, that British shit doesn't sound good when it's rhyming, dude. It doesn't sound good at all. That's why like so many British people or even Australian people, you can't even tell that they're where they're from when they're singing because they don't they they shed their accent a lot of the times yeah i mean that also has to do with the like we just have the the biggest market for that kind of thing that's true like i mean k-pop is pretty massive here and that's like not i'm so upset about that but whatever yeah i don't know if i mind british rap that much i don't listen to it but like it's it sounds the same just british to me it's it just sounds like rap but

British, which is what it is. Like, because I think the problem is, and look at this, I think this is the issue. Um, because there's a lot of, I'm sure there's a lot of urban areas in the UK, but the problem is they sound so proper. So it doesn't sound. I don't know, man. I've been to the UK and I've been like, it's not even a new to the hood. It's just like, it's just like nearing the hood. And they sound confusing. They sound like I the words I was getting used at me. I didn't know if they were cursing me. I don't know if they were speaking at me,

but I was like, these guys are so aggressive. Like I felt scared and I'm a big dude. I'm not scared of most things. Chris, who's that guy? You replied to him, you replied to him and you called him like Harry Potter or something. Who's that fucking guy? He just replies on Twitter, that British dude and he just talks shit.

Oh my, gross score. That shit, that guy is fucking hilarious, man, because his accent, It's so medieval. Like, where's that part of England? I want to know. It's not there anymore. He sounds like some cockney dude from Monty Python. It's like the strangest.

He just, he's a really off-putting soul. But I think, I guess I don't know him really all that well, but I know Dan Bull, and I've worked with Dan Bull a couple times. And he's like a British rapper. Or he, he wraps. I don't know if he's like, he does like a lot of video game stuff. But, uh, I always heard his stuff and I was like,

sounds like rap to me. Sounds about right. I mean, it's not all, it's like, I'm not shitting on everybody. Probably the vast majority, I would probably agree. I'd probably, I'd probably think that's a fair assessment. I don't know, but I'm also an American, I'm also American New York rap fan.

So, like, I'm very, very picky about my rap music. I only like my rap with Ed Shearing features. Okay. What was that fucking Eminem or some shit? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What the fuck happened?

Dude, what? It started in 2010, man, when he did the love the way you lie. And then he just went that route forever. I'm going to feature with famous people. And I'm going to, I'm going to get rid of third bars or I'm going to my third, my third verse, I mean, is going to just be like four bars and then and then another chorus or something. I don't know. It just, I was like, what happened? What is this?

Yeah. It's weird. Because like I, I was recently, I was listening to a lot of it recently. and I was like, oh, I was listening to some of the new stuff, and it's like, ah, this is whatever, it's fine, I guess. But then, like, you go back and it's like, I listened to kill you recently again. So good. It's so good.

It's so ridiculous. I couldn't believe what I was listening to. I was like, this is so much fun to listen to. And so great. He's, like, laughing in the choruses. As the, as the choruses start, like, the, like, the second and third in the end of the song, he's, like, laughing. You know how fucking silly this shit is.

Well, there's like a playfulness that is just kind of gone now, because now it's like weird like there's still like he he plays it off as playful but he's he's writing stuff that's supposed to be serious but there's nothing serious to write about his time is over i think this is what it is i mean music musicians in general have a pretty like the shelf life of music is it's a pretty tight it's a pretty tight shelf life i feel like you're not gonna i don't it depends it depends on what you make it about no i i i don't think so i think for name somebody who was who was making music in the 90s who is still making music today that is good at it Jay-Z, literally.

His last album got mass appeal. Mass appeal. After how long? After how long? After how long? Like, how long did it take for it to get a lot of good appeal? No, no. How long since he was good?

Like, how long was between the most recent hit and the one before it? Probably. Well, dang, like six years? Dude, I've heard nothing about Jay-Z in the last... His last album? His album? His album got a lot of appeal. The story of O.J. was a fantastic.

song. I don't even like, I hate Jay-Z, actually. In fact, I hate him, actually, but he's, he made a really good album. Oh, man, the last, to be honest, the last time he was on my radar was the death of auto tune. Deval Toon, that was a great fucking, ooh, man. When was that? That was the last time he was like, 0-8, 0-9 or something? I forget. Seven-th, yeah, man. It was something around that time.

That's what I'm saying. Like, I knew about that. I didn't know about the one that you're talking about. And that's kind of what I'm talking about. It's like, but you also don't follow hip-hop. I agree, though. Well, I certainly didn't follow hip-hip pop back then. and I knew about Death of Auto Tune but I didn't know about the fucking I think I knew about the song

the story of OJ for like a day and I listened to it I was like that's fine and then that was it's a lot I agree with you man there's a lot of there's a lot of fucking it's just when you get older I think just the vigor

a lot of the passion fleets because the last like most authentic M&M record that I heard is that song A Crack a Bottle yeah

and that was like in like 09 or something like that, whatever. I think, I don't know if those on relapse or, or the other one, recovery. I don't know which one it was. I hate that trip of that trio album, man. All three of those albums I hated. They're all bad, but I just like that song, that record, that fucking crack a bottle, like, say, who else was on at fucking Dr. Dre at 50 Cent? It's such a good song. And I was like, this sounds like classic Eminem. Like, I would, this would be on the Marshall Mathers LP or something like that or any of those older albums. And then, and then, and then, just completely, I was like, what the fuck is this?

Even like rap God, I was like, oh, that one line when he's just going fast, that's cool. But the song as a whole is fucking trash. I hated that. I, my God. Eminem makes me sad. This just happens, man. Like, I don't know of any, I just don't know of any band that is still doing stuff today.

You have to understand your time. I don't know if it necessarily means you have to stop making music. But like, I just think, you know, at a certain point, like, the problem with Eminem is that he's still so boastful. Like, nobody. like Green Day too is like another one where they're like oh he'd check out our new fucking punk rock album and it's like it's

clean as shit and it's like what it's come on. So different. Like come on dude. Like I don't even really hate that new Green Day record as much as like everybody else does but that's not a that's not like that's not a good record. That's not what I would like that's not what I expect from like a Green Day album or at least like not what I

used to like when I was a kid like when they were you know something I don't understand about musicians and this is something that I always try to, and this is something that I, well, it's not that I don't understand. It's, I think it's something you have to grow out of because I remember when I first started making music as like a 14 year old and I was so proud of what I made and I was showing people. And then years later, I went back and listened to that music and I was like, embarrassed. Like I can't believe I showed people this stuff.

Yeah. It's, it's objectively bad. And I was like, I can't believe nobody told me because it would have helped me a long quicker, but people, you know, they're nice. And I feel like there's a lot of people that are still in that, like the reason that Eminem could release that whatever the fuck that record was before Kamakazi and everyone

hated it and it's like bro Kamakazes you've been like it wasn't great but what was the one before that like recovery revival or revival yeah revival yeah like him not being able to listen to that and be like compare it to

the stuff that made you who you are like you can't differentiate at this point like when I was young I couldn't I made stuff and I thought it was good and then when I got older and I'm like, all right, so I'm good now. And moving forward, if my shit's not up to the standard of this, I know I'm making bad music. The thing is that everybody respects Eminem's.

Like Eminem's talent is undeniable. I think that's the frustrating part of it is that, like, you know that these people are capable of making cool shit. And I think that's the frustrating part of a lot of, anytime a musician is sort of like falling off or they're not like really good for you. or they're really not hitting the same vibes that they were capable of hitting like really easy.

The thing is that a lot of people are fans of Eminem because of he's rap so fast like that but the thing is that his talent and being able to rap really fast to put together bars that sound good are fantastic. The thing is that he's his album making. He's not really got to make albums anymore. That is like the thing that's definitely gone.

He could still jump on a freestyle and like tear anyone apart would like would be stupid enough to engage him other than maybe on a $100,000. But like, he's his album-wise he's just it's not fun like used to be it's not like as wild as it used to be it's just kind of like oh this was really watered down it's weird it's weird to listen to it's weird to hear revival and then like immediately afterwards listen to that machine gun Kelly track where he just fucking eviscerates him and it's like so fun to listen to and it's like playful and

like mean and it's like oh i like this he seems like he i don't know like he just oh i don't know like what you want to call like a ballad rapper like he wants to just like it seems like he wants to play up the Super Bowl at some point or something. In fairness, he could probably, he's doing what he wants to do and like, whatever, that's fine. But, like, he's earned the right to do it, I think. But, like, I still feel like, I don't know. Like, at a certain point, you got to, it really is just in the attitude. Like, if you're, if you're, if you're just not hitting the things that you used to hit,

then don't pretend like you're still hitting it. Like, that's the thing. Like, you can't be Green Day and be like, our albums, punk rock. And it's like, none of this, none of this. No trap beats. And it's like, you can't. Oh, yeah. that shit. Shut the fuck up.

I can't do that. Like, I like you guys, but, like, you can't do that. You can't do that. This isn't the 90s anymore. This isn't even the early 2000s. Like, you can't, you can't pretend like you're still on this high horse. If you want to continue making music, because, like, hey, you know what, we've earned the right to do this.

We've earned the right to do whatever the hell we want. And, like, for most of these people, I would say, yeah, that's probably accurate. Yeah. But you just got to stop pretending. You know who did who did a good job, actually, is the band. I mean, there's actually of a few metal bands I could point to that have been around since the 90s and they're still making decent music.

I always felt like someone that would be able to come back and make a great album, always would be Kanye West. But I think he just got obsessed with changing his style so much that he like started fucking up. I caught a glimpse of old school Kanye and that I love it song or whatever when he's just, you know, I'm a sick fuck. I like a quick fuck. And then his flow in that and just how in his cadence and how he just, he seemed like he

was actually having fun with his track. And it kind of reminded me of things. Like it reminded me of, um, what was that, uh, that, uh, make her say that poker face song. Oh yeah, poker face. With, uh, with Kid Cuddy and common. Yeah. Common.

And dude, like, I love that playful fucking song. And, uh, it kind of reminded me of that. I was like, hey, you, Connie can still do it if he wanted to. I think he could. He just, he's like, he's such a progressive artist mentality. He's like, I got to be, I got to change. I can't go. Because, like, if he could easily make an old, like, soul hip hop album,

like he did in the freaking, like, and we did for, like, college dropout or, like, late graduation, the registration. And it would sell off the charts. But things I still think he wants to. And I'm like, I don't get why you're doing this to us. We're begging you. At the end of the day, they're just going to do whatever the hell they want to do. And I guess it makes sense.

It's kind of hard to tell somebody to make a song. You know what I mean? Like, you know, we just sound like entitled cunts, you know? Yeah. I would like, you know, I would like. you know, I would like these people to make good shit again. Or like, maybe not even good shit

because maybe that's a bit too demanding because it implies that the only good shit is the shit that I like. But I don't know. Hey, was there a question attached to this? How do we get here? I don't know how we got here, but let's just keep going.

If Smog was black, he'd beat Tom Sweeney. Like the dragon? Smog? I'm assuming. Smog. He says, How hard is it to? get guests on the podcast. I know it's a little hectic right now with everything going on,

but I would really like to see Zach on the podcast. Well, lucky for you, he was, but we'll definitely get him back on again. Or maybe anybody from sleepy cabin, especially Corey. Again, I know it's a little hectic, so don't worry about it right now. I hope you guys are doing good with everything that's happening. Love your work. Keep it up. It's not hard necessarily, especially it's probably easier now than it probably ever has been just because everything's kind of online right now. Yeah. So that part is actually kind of easy. it really is just a matter of getting everything set up. We're still working on some sponsors and getting some sponsors set up.

I've actually made some pretty good progress on that. We'll probably have some sponsors in the next maybe in the next few weeks, which is pretty good. Oh, that's hot. Yeah, man. So I think once we get the ball rolling on that stuff, we wanted to do the video podcast, but I guess that's just not happening. Take another big break.

Yeah, we're taking, that's, I mean, I hope you understand why. Yeah. Man, I fucking built that fucking, I set up the room exactly for a video. Yeah, we had a whole setup. Put a sound foam and fucking, I had an explosive barrel that I, God, God damn it. Maybe in May. I don't know.

Maybe in, maybe in, hopefully in no later than June, things started getting like. Yeah. Society again. But yeah, we'll get, we'll get some guests on the podcast. It's probably going to be easy now. It's possible. I put a tweet a while ago on Twitter asking, like, who do people want to see on the podcast? And I already kind of asked some people who are on that list.

And so far everybody's agreed. So we just got to set up a time and like when we're going to do that. But yeah, absolutely, we'll have that. Liam Birch wrote in. Question for Chris and Derek. What are your favorite Mass Effect characters? You should say who, you fool. Said what?

What are your favorite Massifax characters? What a piece of shit. Massifax. Shepard's dildo is my favorite. Mine are Miranda for giving a 10-year-old me, my sexual awakening, and Morden, because I think he's one of the most

morally complex characters in the game. I'm going to be a basic bitch and say Garris because I just, I can't not... He's just so cool. I love everything about Garris. He's the best, like, he's the best friend that's ever been written. Ever.

Like, he's such a good companion. that, like, that's the guy that, like, I always want this guy to be in my fucking life forever. I think he's a really good guy. I genuinely think Garris does, like, like, Mass Effect, and Mass Effect, like, Mass Effect 2 is a great game, and, like, the Massific series is, like, really great.

But, like, Garris, I feel like single-handedly does so much of the heavy lifting in enjoying that game. Like, he does, he is such a huge reason as to why I like that series. Like, I think, I think about Garris, immediately when I think about Mass Effect. It takes a couple more leapses. It takes a couple more firing synapses to get to every other character or like even just the plot of what happens

because Garris is so front and center in my brain. I don't know. He's a great character. It's your fault, sweetie. I'm sorry about that. I haven't played a fucking game. I'm gonna stop yelling. What about you? I mean, mine's obvious because

Tally Zora is tattooed on my neck. Yeah, Talley is definitely, I love, I love tech and technology. That's all she is. I like her especially in the third game because of a... She has this fucking attack drone that is just so fucking useful.

And she also... She wields a shotgun, which is great. Just having some fucking alien broad with a shotgun. Can't go wrong with that, man. She's corky as shit. Like, just really, really adorable.

And the thing is, I don't want to get you deep into it either because fucking... You still need to play this shit. So and then it'd just be better if you experience everything and not have a say little things. And then you anticipate it. And it's not going to hit as hard. I don't mind.

You guys want to. No, no. Because look, man, it's like when I was a little bit invested in, I wouldn't say a little bit. I was a lot invested in the gears in the gears series. And then the third one of my friends beat it in like a day or something. And then I logged on Facebook. He's like, oh, man, I can't believe Dom killed himself. And I was like, why would you, why would you do that?

Why would you do that? That's such a dick thing to do like on the day. Yeah, that's like way too soon. I didn't believe. I was like, why would you? So then when the, the mad world song started playing, I immediately knew. He's like, oh, he's going to kill himself. It just took completely took the sting out of it.

I actually liked Dom as a character. And I felt bad for him when he found his wife in the second one. So I was kind of like, even though it's just a meathead shooter, fuck, third person shooter, there was a little bit of a story to it. that actually got me a little bit invested, and I was so fucking annoyed. And so what I'm saying is that, hey, certain little things you'll enjoy so much better

if you don't know beforehand. That's how I feel. Yeah, for sure. That sucks, man. Gears of War is, like, weird because, like, it's such a, it is like one of those meathead shooters, but I feel like it has a lot of heart, honestly. Like, those three games in particular are just really,

there's something about him that's really weird because they would be completely generic if they were just written slagely. slightly differently. Yeah. And dude, there's a really, there's a really like good moment when, when Col, when Augustus Cole, like the biggest black dude on earth. He was dangerous. Or wherever the fuck they were. He was hallucinating because, you know, they just miss how things used to be. And he starts playing his football. Like he thinks he's playing football again. And he's like doing his spins and his hurdles and shit. And he has to like snap out of it.

And it was such a like sad moment where it's like, God damn, dude. Like this war is weighing so heavily on them that it's getting to the point where they start and go crazy and shit and the little moments like that kind of just showed like the charm in such a fucking ridiculous chainsawing motherfuckers apart type of game. Yeah. It's kind of a good balance. I actually really, it's weird. Like I never consider myself

like a fan of Years of War really and then I start thinking about it. And I'm like, I really like Gears of War. I like it a lot. I've definitely played that series like two, three, at least probably three times. and I enjoyed it. I even enjoyed the fourth one. That was pretty fun. Yeah.

I haven't played either four or five yet. I played one, two, and three a lot. I have some of the most, like me and my closest friend have such fond memories of just trying to beat the waves every time and just getting shat on. Horde mode was fucking,

that was some really game-changing shit, dude. Horde mode in Gears of War II is probably the best wave defense game mode I've played in anything even since Gears of War like Gears of War's Horde mode

Gears War II specifically that Horde mode and Halo 3 ODST Firefight and those games came out pretty close to each other Those were like some of the best wave defense modes because they felt like really dire

and very like oh my God we're being fucking swarmed Like it really It felt almost like a destiny raid Where like you really had to fucking communicate You really had to be like Listen I'm getting a shield I'm gonna go and barricade us

in this building and you just you really felt like you're in the middle of this crushing defeat it felt like the last episode it felt like the last level of halo reach like when you're just trying to survive it just felt like that but a game mode dedicated to that entire feeling and it was so cool and and firefight felt like felt like that too in odesty because you were just such a such a puny little bitch weak piece of shit yeah like what i do i don't know that i love that game all right you couldn't do like half the shit that Master Chief could and like you didn't have as much health and you were a brute was like a big deal. In the future games like both in Halo and in Gears like in Geys War III they brought Horde mode back but they were like hey there's like you can like build defenses now.

They made it an actual tower defense opposed to just being like an enduring way. Yeah like you could build like like trip wires and you could build like turret auto turrets and stuff and it's like well this doesn't feel like this doesn't feel like I'm fighting for my life. this feels like I'm fighting for my life with the military defense budget at my disposal. Like I don't like I don't feel claustrophobic a tower defense was just such a weird way for that mode to go.

And then in Halo when they brought it forward it was just like, hey you're a Spartan now so you could like jetpack around and like and crawl up on boots backs and just assassinate him and it's like well this now it's just this went from like a really dire like survival almost a survival horror game mode to just like you were playing like a rail gun shooter at an arcade and you were just trying to rack up points.

It really is weird like that they just like hit the nail on the head that one time and they just never, never really got it afterwards. That's, um, why is because it wasn't the same developing team afterwards. That's why. No, that's not true. It was Bungy did reach. Bungy did reach, really? Yeah. Oh, no. I thought it was okay, wait. Oh, there was no, there was no, what you should call it, firefighting for. Yeah, there was no firefighting for. They replaced it with this like, I don't even know what they replaced it with. I don't even remember. It was really bad. Like, yeah, I don't know.

That shit was, how did we even get here? Okay, that was my fault. So, because I was talking about spoilers, and so I brought up gears. Oh. But we were talking about favorite mass-fetched characters. Right, right. So, yeah, you say Garris. Did they ever show Tally's face?

Yes, they did. Is it disappointing? So, but here's the thing that was so, it's so disappointing for the reason that it wasn't an original creation. Because if it was, it probably would have been, because people have speculated, looking at her through her, through her mask you can kind of see her a little bit it looks like your skin might be a little shade of purple too I think and you know and it's not just the tent of the shield people were kind of like speculating

and then there's all this fan art there's amazing fucking fan art and other depictions so what they did was they took a a fucking stock photo from I forgot where and then they just kind of just altered it a little bit to where okay she has these three light on her face and then they just made her have three fingers because when you when you're romancing her and and and mass effect three she gives you a picture of her and then you can set it on um your

your desk by your bed and um i was like well that's what she looks like she looks like fucking she basically almost looks like Miranda you know like a fucking some basic white broad and then they just put some shit on her to make her look like a fucking what a quarian would look like under the mask do you um and do you consider Like when you see that, do you just kind of erase that from the canon in your head just to... A little bit, yeah. Yeah. Because I was just like that, they could, someone could have, and the problem is one of the, one of the guys that, the guy that created Talley, like campaigned.

And this is where there's so, some of the people that were working on number three were a little bit out of touch because they had a campaign to get Talley into three. Like the dude that made her was like, what the fuck? Like, she's one of the best characters. people agree because the people that were kind of working on the game were like, oh, we got to just really prop up Leara, Lear Tessoni, which she's fine, but she's definitely not the favorite, but it's their favorite. So that's one of the reasons why you can't, you know, she's always safe in number two. I'm just going to say that.

And so she's always, she's no matter what, she's carrying over to three. And there were some other people that were kind of brushed aside. like Rex obviously is one of the most favorite of characters and you barely get to see him like you have a nice moment with him in DLC and so there was a little bit of like misfiring that and then so the thing with Talley as well oh just grab that thing whip it up real quick

this is her and it's like you couldn't someone couldn't have just fucking drawn her like or like or even have a competition of something of like hey guys draw Talley and then we'll all agree this is the best one this is her under the fucking mask something yeah to me it's Like, that's one of those things that, like, you never really want to see.

Like, I don't know, I don't know if I would have ever wanted to see Talley's real face. I wouldn't want to see MasterC's face either, really. Like, I never want to see, I never want to see him frown or smile or anything. Like, I don't want to. I would like to, but also, like, I don't need to think. Like, I don't need to see his face. Like, not seeing his face is perfectly fine. I'll be able to live without seeing his face.

I've seen Arborist's face. And Arborist's perfect. Yeah. I don't need Chief. Yeah. That's too much of a gamble. It's like if you see. nothing and then seeing something

it's like it's not a good idea it's just the it's just gonna be a guy like it's it's just a guy just imagine a guy and then and you've got it and it's fine and it's not that big of a deal and it's I wanted to be like fucking what was the what was the uh

the sting the the the the the sting ray that mantarae guy and SpongeBob I can't remember his name oh my god man ray right man ray that's right It looks like Man Ray when he finally was like giving up evil He's like I don't need this anymore

And like he took off his fucking mask But he took off his head So he just started walking around He walks away with no head I don't know if you remember that Of course, he's a classic episode And I thought that was so great because Yeah like that would I would have preferred that for Talley

Like if she just fucking just did that And then you didn't see anything Because it definitely it ruined it Especially since he did such a bad job I'm like oh you fucking assholes Try to fuck with my favorite character Imagine Chief takes his helmet off. And he looks like,

Casey nice that? Oh, no. So imagine, he takes his helmet off and that's how he looks. Oh, my, that's the thing, too. That's the thing, too. It's like, I don't, I don't, I don't want Chief to be like some fucking ugly guy, you know, like, I don't really care, I guess. But, like, also, like, I would prefer not to know that.

Like, it would re-contextualize every scene that I, like, if you, if you had Master Chief looking like the fucking collector from Toy Story 2, like under that fucking helmet. Like my life would be over. Like every, like suddenly I need, I need a weapon. Like suddenly that's not nearly as cool because it's just some fucking fat dude who's bald.

Like I don't want to see that. I almost felt the same way about like, because you see the Doom Slayer's face actually in Doom Eternal. And I immediately, and one of the first things I know was like, you do see it, right? Well, I mean, you kind of see it. You see glimpses of it. But like even then I was like, oh man,

I don't know if I liked that really. Like it was kind of cool not knowing what you look at. And then, but I also kind of remember that like in Doom 1. They showed before, right? Well, like in the original Dooms, like you see his face like 100% of the time because it's like at the bottom. It's at the bottom. And I was like, okay, well, yeah, that's fine.

I think for the most part when you have a character like that, that's so, that a lot of what works about him is the fact that you don't know much about what he looks like. And like, there's like an air of mystery about that kind of character design that's like really cool. and I think carries a lot of, I don't know, it just carries a lot for that, for any given character and you don't really want to,

because you're just going to not live up to expectations. You're never going to have a character that everybody's going to be happy with, but everybody is happy with this as it is. So why would you, why would you unmask him? Yeah, so you. Let me see if we got any other questiones,

pre-guntas over here. I'm not reading. this one? What is this? Bad? I don't know. Dodger and Ice wrote in.

He says, what's the first character from a cartoon slash movie slash game, et cetera, that you wanted to slam fuck?

So I've always kind of understood that video game characters are like not real and I shouldn't really be attracted to them. So I don't,

I'm pretty late on this. But the girl from Borderlands 2, the one that sells you shit? The one that sells you shit? I was like, in Borderlands 2? With the top hat

Rock season name? Oh, Moxie. Moxie. I was like, yeah, I found her. Oh, yeah, for sure, yeah. Her in Petrovenge, bro. Oh, from Destiny? I'd love a piece of Petrovenge.

I don't know. That's very late to the game, man. That is very late. Yeah. Yeah, I don't, I can't, I'm sure that that's a pretty normal thing to have, like, if you're just watching cartoons a lot, like, I would imagine that, like, as a kid. Oh, no, Sailor Moon. What am I talking about?

I was like, I'm attracted to this. Oh, it's like, I'm attracted to this. I don't know why, but I'm very attracted to this person. Oh, if we're going to, if we're going like, by like, what was the first one. Yeah, Sailor Moon. I guess so. I don't know what my, what the first one would be.

I feel like it was. Probably Sailor Moon, too. No, I don't know if it was Sailor Moon. It might have been, it might have been one of those, one of the, whatever, I don't know the names of these characters, but like the characters in totally spies might have been. Really? You watched that before you watch Sailor Moon? I just, it's not that I watched that before Sailor Moon.

It's that I just didn't, I didn't think that way about Sailor Moon. Like because I was just like she's annoying And I was a kid So I just wasn't really I wasn't really looking at girls in any way Other than like you're fucking annoying Get the fuck Get out of my fucking clubhouse bitch

You know I pretty much know For sure Like there was So 97 and 98 were good years For fighting games And there was two that I just even to this day So, yeah, Morgan from Darkstalkers, and Darkstalkers three specifically. Oh, she's sick.

Morgan was fucking just, damn, like, that's, that awoken something up in me for sure. But then you also had this girl, Felicia, this cat lady. She was like not fucking, you know, she was not like, you know, because, you know, furries are just like, I don't know, like weird. But she was like, she was designed to where she had a couple, like, some cat features. but her body was she had the thickest fucking booty and like the way the designer was so perverse

and I'm just like dude she's basically naked and um that was like ridiculous you just reminded me you just reminded me actually I'm such an idiot I can't believe I just didn't I can't believe I didn't think of this because this is definitely it the fucking Felicia Hardy fucking black cat from Spider-Man oh damn that was 100% because she had

that like delivery like that like that old school like sultry kind of like tone and I remember like watching watching those episodes with her in. I was like, what, what is this? Why she talked like that? What is this that's happening? Oh, yeah.

So I can agree with that. She was a good one, Fletcher Hardy. But I got to say my favorite, though, was in Street Fighter Alpha III. There's Rainbow Mika. She's a wrestler. She is the thickest. I fucking, I fell in love with her. I was like, because I loved wrestling.

I love Zangip. Huh? Mika's a, she's a lot of woman. Well, yeah, she's thick. She's thick and all the right. places she it's it's ridiculous whoever designed her needs a gold medal because that was like that was my favorite i was like dude this chick's so bad and then when she uh showed up in street fighter uh five i was like yes rogue and storm from freaking what you call it from the x-men animated series who

they're like dude there was a have you seen that picture that screenshot of rog yes yeah like the deliberate like of her ass just so pop you know. Wait, what is this? She's so deliberate. Oh yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. Have you seen it? Yeah, yeah. I know. That's ridiculous. Like whoever drew that, I'm like, thank you. They knew exactly what they're doing.

I like that she had a skin tight outfit, but she still had like a fucking jacket. Oh, yeah, it's that little brown jacket. It was green, wasn't it? Made no sense. No, she had a brown jacket on. Really? I could have sworn it was green and yellow. I thought it was green and yellow. She had a green and yellow spandex suit, but then she put on a brown jacket. You're right. No, man.

Yeah, there's probably a lot. Like, I wonder, I wonder what the most shared, like, there's got to be something from, like, TV, right? And any given point in time, like, cartoon or otherwise, or, like, games or movies that, like, has the most amount of people that they've given a sexual awakening to. And I wonder what, I wonder what that would be for, like, the 90s or, like, the, even the early 2000s. Because I'd imagine, for some reason, I feel like, goth girls were, like, a big thing.

but I can't think of, I can't think of like anything in like a movie or a TV show or anything. The Hacks Girls. No, that wasn't that popular. I don't know. Because I remember I had crushes on Goth Girls in high school and like, in like junior high, but like I can't think of anything that would have made,

I can't think of anything that would have sparked that for me at all. Same. Everybody likes Goff girls. It's kind of like a phase that everyone goes through. It's a given. To give it. Everyone goes to the face. I still kind of like them a little bit.

I don't know. I'm over that vastly. Like that alternative, kind of feel. Yeah. Like this girl, she slid in my DMs recently. She's all tatted up. I used to be a model. I thought she was a catfish immediately because I was like, what the fuck is there? Get the fuck out of here.

That's how it always starts. You're like, what? You can't be talking about you. You have the wrong fucking number, idiot. Dump fit. Get out of here, dumb, dumb, you stupid. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah.

Oh. Dude. Just a mean-spirited little kid in an adult's body. Get out of a loser, bitch. A fucking model hits you up. It says, I think you're cute. You respond, get your fucking out of here, you stupid, bitch.

Stupid ho. The fuck. That is some shit. That is. That is so cruel and stupid. Yeah, she, for sure. She was, she's very, like, alternative. and I was like, I still like that.

I'm still, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still a fan. I wouldn't say no. Respect your hustle. It's not, not a preference or anything necessarily, but, you know, definitely when you see it, you're kind of like, my ears perk up a little bit. I'm like, hey. Hey. Hey.

That's pretty good. That's pretty good. I think that's basically all of the questions that we have today. So what are we at right now? How long, how long are we recording? An hour in 48. All right. I didn't actually

set up a timer this time so it's actually pretty appropriate. I think let's see where's my little Google Doc? I lost it, I think.

Yeah, so if you liked what you heard today God willing that you liked when you heard today, please consider supporting us on Patreon.com slash the snark tank.

$1 a month gets you early access, $5 gets you a question around on the show and $10 gets you a producer credit and your name dyslexically read at the end of the show

which I will do in a little bit But first, I want to say just thanks to everybody who's still supporting us. We know this is pretty weird. It's a pretty weird scenario that we're all in. I know that the audio, this episode, is probably not good. We are aware of this. We'll be working to fix it. Please also remember to leave us reviews on iTunes and stuff that helps.

Before everybody goes, shameless plug again, follow me on YouTube at Swing the Pee Machine. That is my new current channel. I'm going to try not to abandon it. I have some ideas. I promise. I promise he will. I'm going to try not to. Don't listen to Chris Raygun, right?

Listen to me, Sweeney. A savior. Jesus Christ. Are you calling yourself Jesus Christ? I'm calling himself pretty damn close. We've got, so because we went over this last time, but there's a lot of people at the $10 tier right now, even still, which is awesome.

So what we're going to do is if it's a name that we've read already, I'm going to not say it this time. Because we'll be here forever. And I just want to make sure everybody's... Oh, fucking rude. All right, you don't fuck it. Fine. Double O Dolphin, a deplorable, a level one cleric. Aaron Alvarez, absolutely not.

Acid bat. Adrian Royal. This is ridiculous. Aero, Ethereum, after-life Jeffrey Epstein. Oh, no, he's back. He's back. He's returned. Alex Jones, all hands-on dick. Aloof A.K. Ransom.

Arnie the one-man party. Aurora Unit 117. Ots King, Badly Brave, Baron von Thundercock, Negro Mancer of Hammerfell. What the fuck? Holy shit. God damn. Bazcar. At the Hammerfell.

Beelzebub the Gimp. B.K. Dino. BLT. inflicted with Frenzy Virus 19. Brendan Peevee, cakes and Foxy pH, caliber 64. You got a sonic profile picture, God help you. Carl Weezer's juicy cum dumpster ass. Carson Jones, cat nips, Chad, chef bang bang, bang.

It just changed the whole tone of everything. Chef bang bang, bang, I like that. Chief Crewan, Chris's creamy carnivorous cum dumpster. I hate that. I don't like that. Cabern is. I don't like any of that. Christian Rodrigo

Christopher Midling Colonel Colin the colonel collapsing kingpin Cooper Lorraine Cyborg Damian Watson Daniel Ortiz Dankhaus David Delaney

Oh my god Delcon Decado dodaud Donald Trump Drew Hogg Dylan Broadbent Edward Thibodeau Eleazar Nuneez

Eric Pfeer Oh it's so many It's so many It's so fucking many Finklin Fat Houdini Fat McLarge Huge

Wait, fat McLarge huge Yeah, fat McLarge huge That's such a funny That's the fakesest name I think I've ever Fucking seen The worst name I've heard in my life Actually That's like McLevin

That's McLage huge FDR's wheelchair Felix Anderson Female Sonic Admire Fiajar Oh my god FialR Tandri Guttormson

I always fuck that up Fjornor Fou Hey Fuck you Stevie Nix We all know your eyes work Garrett Jones Gassie Gassie Gassley Heartless Wretch, Harvey Lee Boswald, Hugger Derek, Ian.

If Samoa was black, he'd be Tom Sweeney, intoxicated, Jabob, Jacob, Jacob Armston, Jake Parsons, Jefferson Steelflex, Jeremiah McRoberts. Jeremiah, what the fuck? Jeremiah McRoberts again? Oh. That's either a fucking stunning coincidence or you're very dedicated. Nice.

Thank you. Jose Horach. Josh Kirby, Joshua Millard, Juan Guavara. Julius Jeffries, Justin Hunter, Carson Roth, Kevin Andrew Ennis, King of Hapazard, Nicka. You're not going to get me with that one, fool. Might as well try. Leon and Susan Five Ever, Levante Poustai, Liam, Liam Birch, Luca Bella, Luke Jercovic, Matt, Matt Fitzsimmons. I've never seen that name in real life.

Melfis. Melfis. Yeah, Fitzsimmons. I've always seen it in shows and stuff. Melfus 1, Merrick, oh my God, so fucking many. Frischot, Mike Gates, Mike Petit, Mitchell Blackwood,

Moto Zellet, Mr. H.R. Roboski, Nicola Tempe. Okay, final run, final stretch. You got there, Chris, you almost did it. Here we go. Oliver Troxel, Papa John, Polio Pussy Got Me Disabled, Pee Extendis, Progerian erectile homicide,

Quinn designer, Richter 86, Rod Holder, Rohan Foster, Rush Anish, Rusticity, Rusty Cunts, Samuel Lathrop, Sentient Condom, Shih Tzu posting, Sideshow Bob's body double, Sejallics, soggy Ardvark, Stephen Hawking's unrestrained libido. Oh my God. So he was alive so long.

Can you imagine how devastating that would be if he just woke up one day and could move? He'd be fucking instantaneously. He'd have so much built up. He'd die. Steve Lucas, Sunny Chance. Sweeney Tom, the ethnic barber of Yeat Street. Sweeney's Magic Weenie, Stitz, Regemke, Rijkema, I think, Teon, Taylor O'Connor, Telos 2121, Tharja IBW,

that Nick Walker, the cosmic hippie, the Dreameranda Shadow, the Pergerian Hunter, the quivering membrane, the invisible skeptic, the job is Dick. Toby Schupeman, Tom, triple question mark, Troy Umberman, Vettie Good, White Tom Sweeney, Winnie, Yassline, Yassline, Clemens, Zach Seagworth, Zachary Daniel,

Zachary Ward, and that's fucking it. Hey, good shit. I, proud of you for doing it, man. Yeah, he did it. It's hell. I think we're probably, man, I don't know, this is a weird thing because, like, we were talking last time about maybe

raising the cap of, like, the price to do it, to get the names read. But, like, with everything that's happening that feels kind of wrong. Ah, yeah. So, like, I'm kind of, my hands are kind of tied here. I don't really know what to do.

We're in between space right now. What we could do is what we might have in, um, in place is we might have a discord for the $10 tier and have the, the names read at the end, maybe like $20 or like, uh, or $15 or $20.

So that way, the list at the end is a lot more manageable and $10 patrons are still getting something. Mm-hmm. That seems like it might be a good idea. I don't know how you guys feel about that. Actually, that sounds really good idea. That sounds perfect.

Yeah, so we'll get to work on that. I think someone messaged me on either the Patreon about having a Discord kind of set up already for the Snark Tank. So I'll figure that out today. And then by next time, just so everybody is understanding of what's happening, that's probably going to be what the updated to your list is. just for the sake of keeping everything, you know, tight and not, not overbearing at the end. But thanks again for watching. Thanks again for listening. We'll get these audio issues resolved by next time.

Hopefully we'll be able to see each other again because, you know, probably not by next time, but like hopefully in the, before the fucking year is over. Like, it's getting, it's getting ridiculous. I'm sure. Yeah, I'm getting fucking, I'm already going insane just cooped up here. Have you been like quarantining? Like what have you been doing? Like have you been going out and stuff? Yeah.

So I mean, I, the thing that I, the only reason I went out in the first place was to, the fuck was that. Whoa. Somebody's like knocked on our door one second. Let's, uh, let's, uh, let's see, see if it's something. Sorry, sorry. Okay, yeah, that's right. I only left the house to go to the gym and to get food. That was pretty much the only thing.

So now there's no gym. and I've been eating a lot of food at home or rarely I'd go out or something and just drive through and come back or some shit. But typically I'm just home and it's weird. Not going to the gym is actually frustrating. I'm actually, my body's twitching a lot because I'm not exerting the amount of energy

that you would, you know, exert at the gym. Like doing home stuff is good, but it's not good enough. It's not, I don't have the tools to really burn the energy that I need to. And then it's not a good idea to try to invite like people over, obviously, you know, so that's kind of annoying to, or it's like, hey, lady, would you like to come over and get fucking throated and, you know, it's not a good idea. All right.

That is, that is definitely probably the worst part of this. Yo, it sucks, man. It sucks so much, man. I hate it. Oh, man. We're all in cells now. All of us, we're all incels. Literally are incels.

That's good. You should tweet that out, dude. That's a good one. I think I did. Did you? I think so. I don't know. I said something like that.

They got the last laugh. They did. God damn it. They totally did. Fucking asshole. It's fucking laughing in heaven right now. That's so fucked up.

That's so fuck. And that's it. Goodbye. Have a good one. Have a good one. Have a good one. Guys. Stay safe.