The Snark Tank - #160: WORST. APOLOGY. EVER.

Episode Date: July 5, 2023

Colleen Ballinger is very cool.Thumbnail Art by MEATCANYONAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Hi everyone. This is Mariah Rose, co-host a full circle and the creator behind Hoops for Hotties. Whenever I'm headed out to a workout first thing in the morning or getting ready to yab about sports with the girls, I'm drinking Gatorade Lower Sugar. I've always been a Gatorade Girlie, but I don't always need more sugar in my life. So Gatorade Lower Sugar is perfect. It has 75% less sugar than regular Gatorade and all the electrolytes. It hydrates better than water and has no artificial flavor, sweeteners, or colors. Try Gatorade Lower Sugar today. Available on Gatorade.com and in stores nationwide. Allergy season always sneaks up on you. One minute, you're listening to your favorite podcast.

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Me. Hey, me. It's always greener. That's not right. That's not right. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the StarTang podcast. Man, oh boy.

So I'm going to say this now because I've forgotten to say it for the last, I think, 200 episodes. But if you want to support the show, go over to Patreon. com, Slice the StarTang. Leave us nice reviews and all that shit on, uh. on iTunes and all that. It helps. I know that's like a, I know that's like an aggressive,

out of the gate thing to say, but I'm catching up for the literal, I think for a hundred, I think it's been a hundred episodes actually since I've said anything. Why are you eating it like that, Derek? Jesus Christ. What are you eating?

You're not supposed to say anything. The people in the audio would, the people in the audio would know. Only the. Oh, my God. You need like a kid that's, really hungry. A child that's really

hungry and they're trying to get all the water they're about. When you're in broadcasting and those motherfuckers like say for like a USC event or something, they're there for like six to eight hours and they have to in between fucking commentary fucking scarf food down. So I was just basically trying to do that.

It reminds me of like when I know some women who like will they'll eat and then they'll do this. They'll like hide. Stupidest shit. They'll hide their mouths. I only do that. for the visual the people who are like get visually like

you know there's some people that that would watch this video and hate seeing a motherfucker chew like okay everybody hates hearing it but there's also some people that hate seeing a motherfucker eat so I usually try to like just be courteous while I'm unless if we're reading the

if we're reading the name I want people I want to look like a horse as often as possible what I mean I want to show people the shaft of my penis people get mad that it's on the shaft of my dick that's I mean I want people people to see the top. I want to see, I want people to see my shaft and the top and bottom of my gums. Hell yeah, dude.

I like that. I like that. That's a good shot. It's so outrageous. So, outreaching someone to the shaft of your penis, bro. Showing them the least of the fucking part of your dick when it's still your dick. I literally had a vision of that earlier. I was filming.

I was filming, oh, for the people that don't know. Well, they can't know. By the time you're hearing this, there should be a. gay cover of disturbs cover of the sound of silence. I was just shooting the video right now. And the weird thing is, as I was shooting it, I was thinking about the podcast that we're doing right now. And it's hot in my room right now because the fucking studio lights.

And I was thinking, I just want to be pantsless, not even like fucking box, like just nothing under. And I was thinking, yeah. And I was thinking, don't do that. But I just thought don't do that somehow you're going to accidentally see my penis. That was the only I think about that I think about that

I think about that sometimes I do specifically with like the glasses like my glass like it'll like it'll like somehow like reflect off my glasses

so I can't get away with it yeah that was that was it's scary yeah I can't somehow I'll it'll fuck up and you'll see it

and I'll see it and I'm thinking about like I used to have this I used to I used to I used to have this dream well not used to it's not it wasn't like

a recurring dream I had this dream once where there was technology that basically allowed computers to see the rest of the video frame as infinitely as possible. That's terrifying.

So like the idea that like, and it would be accurate. So anything that was happening off screen would be, you could theoretically see. Press a button and scroll and you can see under your desk and your dick. Did you see that Photoshop?

Yeah. It scared me. It scared, like it was like scary technology. Like that Photoshop, uh, AI things. AI. Yeah, it's like finishing shit. So people naturally, the first thing they did was...

But that shit is funny, though, because it's like it's just guessing. Like, I love the ones of, like, porn stars' faces. Exactly. Like, where they just take porn stars, porn stars getting railed, and then they just take their faces and they just, like, they let AI finish it. And it's always them, like, filing taxes or, like, baking a cake. It reminds me of Microsoft paint. When people would do the MSP paint to, like, mass the porn stars videos of doing...

And they're just doing, like, mundane tasks or something. They're playing a bass or whatever the fuck. fun of me. Those are really well done too. Very good. I think literally, I think Riley Reid's profile picture is literally one of those. It has to be. I think it's her eating a banana or something.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is funny. But, yeah, man. Oh, man. So what do we got to? The only thing that I found. Oh, my God.

I don't even want to talk about that shit. We know we have to. And it's, we're a little bit dishevel today. I've got a, like, Sweeney's in the middle of moving. I'm leaving this episode once it ends to go straight to a wedding and then straight to the wedding

straight from the wedding I'm going to the airport so it's like a fucking mess today but it sucks yeah it's not fun I have the steam deck though which by the way dude Metal Gear Solid 5 on the steam deck is so

fucking incredible I can't believe it really it runs well I yeah it runs it runs perfectly and it's like, wow, it feels like this game was meant for this. Like, playing that game on like a handheld where it's like, because it's like mission structure, it's like, it's very like piecemeal the way it tells its like story and does like missions.

It's just like, this is fucking so good. I can't believe it. But the only thing that we saw, that I saw anyway, that I thought was worthy of kind of taking the conversation to today was this Colleen Ballinger, Miranda Singh's ukulele- non-apology video because I saw a lot of people calling it an apology video right

which it's not oh my god really it's not an apology video I didn't even I made like a fake version of it with like an electric guitar I didn't even watch it I just kind of assumed what it was

and everybody was like yours is actually your satire is actually better because you actually apologize and I was like oh I didn't know everybody was calling you an apology video but I don't even know where to begin with this

because I don't have any history with Miranda Singh's at all I never heard of her really yeah I know who she is only because of the fact that she was like very popular on YouTube like when my first move to California that's that sounds about right but like even so like she she wasn't making stuff that was for us anyway like there was no way that we would cross I don't even I think the only reason I knew who she was is because

Lacey knew who she was. And that's how I knew. I was like, oh, okay. But I haven't heard of this person in years. And she just kind of comes back up. I think she was in like Reckett Ralph or something. Really bizarre. She had a Netflix series.

She was on, I think she... Hold on. I got to look this up to make sure I'm not making this up. I swear to God, I feel like she was on like comedians and cars getting coffee. What? Really? I'm not... Miranda sings.

Comedians. Is she like funny? Is she, is that like her? I actually still don't know. I just, I didn't even know she, I wouldn't have even known that she did a music. If she didn't do that ukulele thing. I, I, I just, I actually don't know anything about her still. I just know that she entertains kids or some shit.

I know. Yeah, she, she, that's, that's what she was. That's what she was called. She made YouTube video. She had a show on Netflix as I knew about that. Because I laughed at it. Was it a children show? Like, what is it?

I don't fucking. I think it's for young. For youngers. For younger's? For younger's. Yeah. So, I mean, have you guys looked into this at all? Not at all because as soon as I, as I saw Philip DeFranco. I just saw Philip DeFranco cover it. That's as much as I, as I've seen. Yeah. So there's like, I don't know, man, there's a lot of weird. As soon as I'm talking to kids, I'm like, I can't do with this. I just kind of go somewhere else. That's the thing that fucking confused me. Lyle has a great tweet from like a year ago that he, he, he, he, I know. again where it's where it's like where are people where are YouTubers finding the time to talk to

kids and teenagers I can't fucking keep track of my I can't keep in touch with my real friends I had a comment on there where and why and I was like dude I was like I can't I can't hand in homework and manage to like speak my friends I'm failing as a boyfriend I feel you as soon as I took is I was like I'm getting likes from like a tweet that

like I posted like years ago, year ago. I looked at it and it was literally that because like how I don't have enough. It's it is it is a it's almost like a sport the way that I look at it the way that these people pursue because I taught I talked to Jojo about this every once in while where we we make jokes about like cheating on each other or some shit like one time she she wrote the she misspelled you and instead of the the Y OU was Y OI and I was like who the fuck is yo? Like are you fucking banging some Asian dude like what's going on? So, like, we have, like, this inside joke. And we, so we always, so we always like. So outrageous. Oh, it is.

It is what the point is. The point beside the, put the racism aside. It's the fact we always talk about, like, none of us have the energy. First of all, none of the desire, but the energy to just, like, step out on somebody and keep track of all the other shit and the lies and all. It's, it must be so exhausting because I'm barely hanging on to my normal life. and then these motherfuckers find times to DM a bunch. I don't get it, man. It's like, it's got to be like a sport.

Like, it's just challenged. The thing that blows my mind is like, yeah, like, just the idea of, dude, she's like mid-30s right now. You know what I mean? Like, which would make her late 20s when she's, like, talking to these, like, 14-year-olds and like, and like DMing them and like just like oversharing. Yeah, yeah. Venting about divorce. It's like, these are children. That's so funny.

What the fuck are you, do? Have a kid. Like, dude, have a kid then. Have a kid and trauma dump on your kid, bro. Yeah, trauma dump on your kid like the rest of us. Your dad sucks. Like the rest of humanity. Like my parents did.

Have a kid and then die. Do my dad. Holy fuck. Hey, I mean, hey, real talk. Oh, you too. Yeah. Forgot. Rip pops.

God damn, man. Rip, rip. RIP. RIP parent. Anyway. that's fucked up listen that was

you know what that was that was an intrusive thought that was an that was an that was an inclusive thought that slipped right the fuck through a fucking what you call it from fucking

the Simpsons ha ha ha and fucking laugh at me yeah yeah what's this fucking they're bringing Futurama back too you see that I really sad about that

I remember I don't know how I feel about that what's his face well the only reason why I feel bad about it is that it ended so perturably It was the perfect.

It ended well. It ended well a couple of times. Well, like, didn't it end like three times? I don't think so. I think it got canceled a bunch. So yeah, it ended. It came to end three times. But like there was a literal season 10, there was a literal, like,

finale. Perfect finale series. It's over. And it was, in my opinion, perfect. It couldn't be better. It was probably the only time I've actually really remember being satisfied. and like, oh, this is done, this is great. Because a lot of times the things last too long

and then some weird shit happens. I just made it to season seven of The Walking Dead and I'm already getting like, I'm already getting like, what is happening? Dude, I fell off of the Walking Dead immediately. The revelation that I watched. In the middle of, I think I started season four. I think I started season four because I was like, man,

that season two is really bad. And then season three, I was like, okay. Season two wasn't bad. It was just slow. It was boring as fuck, man. In comparison to like literally every other season of television I've ever seen, like, walking to season two is really, like, it was so like, because you, I don't know, season one I felt scared. Like, I felt scared in that world.

I was like, yo, this is a really serious. And to be fair, she said one was only six episodes, too. True. Well, that's only very good, though. Yeah. Yeah, it's very quick. And then, and then it went to, like, 12 or 13 episodes. Most first seasons of, like, I think Breaking Bad is only, I think, I think Breaking Bad might be eight max.

eight episodes. I thought it was 10. Maybe. I think it's like, I don't remember what the rest of them are, but like the rest of them are a lot longer. I see. I see. And so Walking Dead was the same. I don't know, man.

Like, Walking Dead just got weird. I watched way too much. I know why. Like way more than I thought I did. You were like, nah, dude, that's like season 10. I was like, what? That was like season. I watched intently until those points.

So, yeah, I saw, I guess, I literally dropped off And I So I thought I said season five or six That was when Glenn gets his head bashed in Right

But it's actually at the beginning Of seven So I saw eyes I am now Finally further than I stopped All them years ago When it first aired Because I remember watching it on AMC

And after that And then I remember why I stopped watching Because of that nigger At that point I was done I was like Ezekiel's tigers Coolish shit The idea

of I just couldn't handle it. Like it's fake. Like it's like don't get me wrong. It's extremely fake. And he even addresses, he even addresses like keeping a tiger alive during this, like how much it eats. And I'm like,

I love that they're self-aware, but it still doesn't fix the problem that how the fuck are you feeding a tiger? Yeah. The Walking Dead. It's eating people. The Walking Dead is not the, that is a marvel. That's some Craven the Hunter ass nonsense.

You can't tell me that's not sick as fun. You can't tell me. It's cool, but it doesn't belong. It's cool. It would be like, Kingston. You're right. You are correct. If the green goblin showed up in the middle of Mrs.

Doubtfire, it would be cool. That would not be long. That would just be like, what the fuck? You know the dinner when he's, the dinner when he's like keeps up running back and forth? The war's close? Yeah. Finish it. No, no, dude.

No, for real. You're going to tell me for real 100% Ezekiel's introduction. When they get to freaking, it's not Victoria, it's way past that point. They get to the kingdom. Whatever, called the kingdom, yeah. And he's sitting at the throne, and he's talking to Rick, and then the tiger comes from behind the throne. You don't tell me that introduction wasn't fire. Look.

That was fire. For theatrics, absolutely, I liked. I like this setting, but here's the thing. I love Ezekiel, too. He's a great character. Karen was there being willed in by Morgan. True. And Karen represented the audience with common sense.

Right? She was like, what the fuck? Like the breaking of dispensive disbelief for, she represented that. And that's really, now I'm obviously I'm pushing forward because I really, I want to watch it all because I want to know what happens. I have no idea at this point. Enjoying a healthy dinner that tastes great means eating out at a pricey restaurant, right? Wrong. Healthy choice simply steamers are delicious and healthy. The tray-and-tray steam technology delivers crisp veggies and tender,

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The fact that any of those people are still alive is just plot armor. And so I'm really curious to see how it's going to push forward. I don't know who, because I remember there was a big announcement at some point. They're like Andrew Lincoln is leaving the show. I don't know if he died or if he fucks off. I don't know anything about it. He's Rick. Rick.

I know how he leaves. I'm not going to, well, yeah, don't spoil it for me. I would be very upset. Even though I don't give a show about the show. I was waiting.

I was waiting. I was literally waiting. I was like, is he going to do it? Do you know how Rick leaves? Is he going to be like, oh yeah, I know he died?

Do you know how Rick leaves? Chris? I don't know. I don't know anything. You know Chris is the one thing about the show. Are you joking? I watched The first episode of season four, I think Mac.

No, no, I got to the point where the Where the governor shows up. What season is that? It's three. It's three when he shows up. Yeah. What is three? The governor showed up and I remember being like,

at the end of three maybe or four? Some like that? The prison, no, no, no. So the governor shows up in four. It's, it's, the first time that the prison is three. Because they've been, they were at two prisons throughout the time of the show.

Season three is the prison. Because they were at a prison once and then they were at another prison later on. Well, in the beginning, well, in the beginning, like, so season three, I think they're in the prison trying to establish it. And I think it's fine when they're trying to clear it out. I think it's fine. How did we get here? Just mentioning something about. I don't even remember how.

Look, look, I understand what that show becomes. Disappointment. A lot of plot armor. It's a main character series. It was very main character. characters surviving. I'm okay with the plot on. I get it.

I got to admit. I'm just, I'm just wondering, okay, I feel like the peak of the show and probably why I stopped watching was Negan introducing himself and establishing his dominance.

I feel like after that, I'm like, well, from what I know of these characters from how they've developed, I think they would have went out in a blaze of glory. Like the way that Daryl tried to do, you know,

which got Glenn killed it in the first place, do you at least try to attack Negan? And he doesn't. And then now they're like, and I don't know. I'm sure at some point there are obviously something's going to happen and they're going to figure it out. I'm sure that's going to happen. But from those people, just kind of like Carl, pointing a gun at one of the guys when they're

trying to take all their guns, I feel like that would already get anybody else killed, right? I feel like that's what would have happened. Mishone, none of them, Sasha would have been like, I'm not going to be a fucking slave. We're going to fight or die. and then they would have all died or some shit like that. So I feel like that's probably why I stopped watching the fact that like Rick becomes a sad puppy with his tail tucked under his legs. I'm like, this is just this is fucking dumb now.

And then the lion tiger nigger shows up and I'm like, all right. I was like, okay, I'm done. I was like this guy is a tiger. That show's got a lot of fucking wild moments. All right. Every black character dying for some bullshit, except for Michone. I like how they always have to, uh, they have a big black nigger. And then he has to die and then they replace him with another big black nigga.

Did you, so have you seen any, like, have you seen any people that you have recognized from other series on the show yet? I'm not going to spoil anything. I'm trying to tip a toll around some stuff. Oh, my God. I hate that this is a conversation. This is real quick. I love that. I was just so, you can have a conversation about, like, I don't know, man.

I can have an interesting conversation about, I'm trying to think of the least interesting thing. The shaft of your penis. That shit is not a good at all. I'm very interested in the shaft of my piece. penis, bro. I'm thinking, would you agree that's the most, that's the least offensive part of your penis? Like your shaft is not offensive at all. Because if you just, it's a shaft. Yeah, I agree. No, it's like an arm. I agree with that. They can just be like a butterfinger, a fucking snicker pretty much.

It's like, for me, for me it could be a snicker. I don't know for you, you probably not, because there's a snick ass pretty weird. Yeah, I would love that if Chris had a dark ass penis. Who knows? It would be awesome. It's so fucking weird. And you just think that's fine. Everybody's like, yo, dude, like, I know it's kind of weird me seeing your dick and everything, but like, why is your dick like as dark as me?

Like, it's not supposed to be. All penis are black. Like, I just thought that was like, that's how it worked. Yeah. That's just like, that's just been my understanding for as long as I've been alive. Like, what do you mean? Like, no, dude, it's not, not that color. Now, whatever, man.

You're bugging. Interesting. Are you sure? How do you know? What are you looking at? I mean? I mean, this is a lot. Yeah, a lot of penises.

Yeah, how do you know? What are you gay? Dude, nothing else happened this week, man. They found her remains in the what you call it. It's literally just that ukulele apology that, that like went fucking viral to the point of, dude, that video has 500 something, 560,000 dislikes. Like, which is insane. I don't know.

Really hated that shit. It's just so. Anthony Fantano reviewed it. too because it's technically music. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, it's so... It's being clowned on really hard. I mean, like, I don't know.

Naturally so. It's, I... The best thing about that video is the self-awareness where she, her representatives, right? Her agents or managers, whomever said, hey, it's not a good idea to talk about this. So I'm gonna, they didn't say anything about singing it. I'm gonna sing about it.

And it's like... Yeah, they didn't say anything about singing. Which is like the most Saturday morning fucking Disney channel fucking car car. I've ever fucking heard in my life. They didn't say I couldn't sing about it. No, this is not a whimsical world that you're living in. Shut up.

Don't say anything. Don't sing anything. Don't write anything. Don't sculpt anything. Don't do shit. Stay. Or if you're going to say something, address it seriously. It's just like, I don't know, man.

Like, some of the DMs are weird. Like, I wouldn't say it's like, it's a shit. She's not Jared Fogel or anything, but it's fucking weird. Like, she sent, like, she sent a fan underwear. And I don't think, I don't know if it's used underwear or what, but, like, it's fucking weird that you would do that at all. It's pretty bizarre. She's in group. Her brother, though, like, there's somebody else involved.

I think it's her brother. That shit's the weird. Uh-oh. That guy's fucking DMs are really fucking concerning to the point where it's like, you can't just sing a you can't. Laley song if you're associated with that I didn't even know that I don't know what's happening exactly it's stuff like man

I don't want to quote anything exactly because I don't have it off the top of my head but like if if you just go look into it a little bit you'll find some DMs from people very very closely involved with Colleen and this whole situation that warrant a little bit more of a serious

addressal or addressing than a fucking quirky new girl ukulele fucking song like I don't know man I'm surprised she wasn't fucking a dog in that video because that is it's the whitest fucking thing I've ever seen

it is the most white woman thing I've ever fucking seen in my life it's it's the craziest shit and it's a 10 minute song it's a fucking R. Kelly fuck it's an R Kelly fucking trapped in the closet ass ballad about how she didn't do anything and no dude I'm so

underprepared I didn't even know it was that long I assumed it was probably like average three and a half minutes and a half minutes. Yeah, like everybody else does. No, bro. It's 10 minutes. And then it has a fake ending.

That's the thing about it. It's like, it's so... Yeah, she goes... She finishes. She finishes and then she goes... And then she goes again with like a second chorus. Oh my God.

It's like different. So it's like, it's not even just the fact that it's a bad idea to address serious allegations with a fucking quirky ukulele fucking Zoe Deschanel fucking white girl. song, it's extra bad that she rehearsed it and performed it

arguably over a series of many takes to get the best one. Like you have to imagine there's at least like 10 takes of that. Yeah. Which is like enough takes to realize like hey, maybe I shouldn't

maybe I should at the very least just shut up. You know what I mean? Like don't say anything. Do you think what if she's playing fucking 20D chess and she knew this response was going to be so crazy that it would actually distract kind of from the seriousness of it.

Maybe. I mean, it is. I mean, it is. I mean, it is. It's so fucking wild. It's such a, like, it's, it's hard for me to, unless the other thing is, maybe she is mentally ill. Maybe she has something because I feel like that's the only two lanes in this.

It's so extreme that she either is really going through some shit or she's, She's like methodically like, oh, how am I going to beat all this weird shit that I used to do? Oh, let me just amplify it into the wackiest situation. I become the flavor of the month because I'm so thoroughly embarrassed and that everybody forgets that my brother is a fucking weird out too. Who knows? It's a distinct possibility. That situation's fucked in general. Like, she's, her career is done.

Her career is done. There's no fix. And not you can't, you can't recover from a P-file thing, you know. even if you didn't do anything. But is that like the, you can't come back. You're done. I know that's what people are calling her,

but is, is, is there things? Well, the thing is that like, it's a lot of weird messages back and forth between, um,

I've seen some of them. Yeah, I personally, I personally looking, looking at the things that I've seen, I, I don't, I do,

there's an aspect of it that I do think is somewhat overblown in the sense that I, what I think is happening is, she was just really dumb and really not aware of the fact that you shouldn't talk to fans, which is something that, like, in fairness, like, I don't know, like, as you're growing, when you're, like, when you have, like, 5,000 subscribers or something, or, like, even fewer than that, like, a couple hundred, like, it's pretty normal to talk to fans.

You know what I mean? Like, I used to do that. I used to, like, talk to people. Sure. But it's another thing to be, like, a successful, like, YouTube person and, like, make money and like have all of this do live shows and then have DMs with those fans and those fans are 15.

And you're, you know, and you're talking about like... Enjoying a healthy dinner that tastes great means eating out at a pricey restaurant, right? Wrong. Healthy Choice Simply steamers are delicious and healthy. The tray-and-tray steam technology delivers crisp veggies and tender protein and tasty selections. Like Healthy Choice.

Choice Simply Steamer's grilled chicken and broccoli Alfredo. It's a satisfying meal with 28 grams of protein and nothing artificial. Healthy Choice Simply Steemers. What having it all tastes like. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man.

Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered.

It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?

What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. You're talking about like, hey, my ass looks great in this. And, and like, it's just weird. I don't know if it's indicative that she did anything, like,

like, literally, like, illegal. But it's fucking, it's just weird. behavior at them at at least because I can't imagine a fucking world where I would be like where I would have a fucking group chat full of teenagers talking to them about how good my dick looks look at my dick print you know what I mean like I can't I can't I can't fucking fathom that reality it's fucking insane it's it's a thing it's why it's hard to escape the Michael Jackson allegations for the same reason that's the thing well that Most of those things touch you. They're touching you.

Because even though, yeah, even though there is no direct evidence that he actually did something, like there isn't like something like that is just completely provable. Just the situations that he were in, it's such a, it just leads to that conclusion. So it's so hard. How do you get that off of you? You fucking, it's naturally. Like, come on. Yeah, your eyes are naturally guided.

It's like Occam's Razor type situation. Right, right. Occam's Razor could be wrong sometimes, but it's also just like, it's, it's just like, it's. It's the best way to reach a common sense understanding of like most things. Yeah. Which is like, I don't know, man. And adults haven't sleepover with strangers, kids. That's fucking weird, man.

Even if nothing happened, great, but it's still fucking mega weird. It's the craziest. You know how mad? The more damning stuff. And there were, there was a kid in my, I would be so upset if I woke up and there was a random kid in my. I would just, I remember, I remember,

do you remember, do you remember, do you remember, because there was a, there was a, so we had a party at our house or at our apartment when we all lived together and it was like a big,

well, I'm telling you, we had a party at our apartment. And I don't remember who, I think it was Joe who had the party. And it was a bunch of Joe's friends. And at a certain point,

it was the first time that I realized, like, oh, we're at that age where like friends of ours have, kids and they're probably going to have to bring them to things if we invite them to it. These aren't my friends, right? These are Joe's friends, but Joe's friends are like a lot of people.

And so like a bunch of people came and then there was some kid in my apartment along with all these other other people, right? And it was clearly just one of Joe's friends' kids who was at this party. And I remember being that too, right? Like I remember being the kid at the party that like my parents would bring to like some family, some get together. and I would be like the one kid there and I'd be like kicking my legs on the fucking couch doing nothing because I'm what the fuck am I supposed to do? And I remember being like,

I remember thinking like I seeing a random child that I did not recognize in my apartment set up, it was like spider sense to me. I was like get this, get this thing the fuck out of here. The worst thing ever. I didn't even conceptualize that that was even possible really.

Like it felt like something that it's like it's like seeing an assault rifle in in, in Legend of Zelda or something where it's like this is not, this does not belong here. That was very much so not a child friendly house too, which made even worse. No, yeah.

That was not a, like there were knives all over the place. Like a bunch of like box cutters everywhere. You dig in like a cushion and you can find a box cutter. Dude, I hid, I hid knives all over that apartment. Oh.

There was a knife. There was a knife under, there was a knife under both couches. There was a knife like under like some of the cabinets. There was a knife like, under both cabinets in the bathroom? Just in case. I just don't want anyone's kids anywhere near where I am.

It makes me so upset having to deal with people's children, especially when it's in my domicile where I don't, I just don't want to deal with kids. I don't do what kids getting hurt near me. I don't want to deal with. I don't even like people's pets touching me. I just don't like anything that, like anything that I can get in trouble for getting harmed.

I don't want it anywhere near me. I don't want anywhere near me. You're fucking weird, though, for that, though. Yeah, there's an aspect You should see a therapist probably For what? But for something, man Like there's something up

There's something up going There's something going on with you You're even You're even the same way about like Something about hugs or something Or hugging? Yeah, you can't you won't hug women I'm like tons of people

Now you're like fucking Mike Pins and shit Like oh I can't fucking I can't be in the same room With the woman alone Or like what the fuck is not like I can't I can't be in the same

I can't control my urge To like rape I don't trust myself I don't trust myself to be a good person. I think I'm evil at my core and I left alone. Lord knows what I'll do. Honestly, like I can't even promise your safety. I'm not that extreme. I just don't like being around. I don't like being around people very often, but especially don't like being around women. You have people over your house all the fucking time.

I know, I know. Obviously, I thought I don't like being around people and I especially don't like being around women. It's true. But I have to have a most all the time. Literally, it's going to be that again. Lily's like, we're not going to be the hangout house. And I'm like, all right, honey, whatever you say, you think that's not going to, that's crazy. You believe that. I mean, but what if you must like people around.

I don't like hanging out of my friends. I just don't like being around women at all. Period. I don't even think of all. Like, I just like, such an absurd thing to say. How is that absurd? How was my truth absurd? How was my truth absurd?

You have a lot of female friends. That's not true. That is very true. I have like... Yeah, you do. What do you mean? I have like one, two, two, three. Any female friends?

Nah, you got more than that, bro. You have as many female friends as we all have, which is a lot. That's not true. How many friends will have? I got two, three. You got more than that. I can think of at least five. What are you?

What are you talking about? What are these numbers? These are people who like... I'm not going to get into this. It's so fucking obvious. You're trying to pretend like these people don't exist. They were constantly at your house for fucking months. I saw them. Every time I went over, relax. I'm just aware. I'm just, I'm just aware. Like every, every, every fucking, like, female content creator that has to do with anything, whether it be voice acting, whether it be YouTube, wherever it be any this, this or that. You know them. You were friends with them before like me. They know me because of you guys. You have a lot of lady friends, bro. Look at him trying to comprehend this. I'm trying to,

I'm trying to wear my way out of it, but I can't. I'm trying to get out. I mean, it's fine, my pants. There's nothing wrong. It's fine, my sense. I just get mad and scream at women when I talk to them. It's a little of a conversation. Shut up.

I've seen you literally snarl. Yeah, I've done it before. At women. Like, I've seen you snarl like a fucking wild boar. I love that. To get them away from you. You know what's funny about that, too? You know what's hilarious about the idea that you would even have the gall to argue that? Is that so many, in fact, a few of the female friends that we both have, we both have because of you, because you brought them in.

What do you mean a few of them? You mean one of them? You're out of your fucking mind. There's only one. Smokey. There's one at smoke. down plane the player player someone else

is playing it's literally just smoke amen I mean that's that's one that's gab we've know we both known about the same time yeah I guess

I understand who's that I guess yeah who's that it's insane I'm gonna be talking about myself we don't know a Lily

like look look guys my me and my girlfriend are here it's gonna be in an empty apartment It's like really sad and dark. It's like those, there's images on Reddit of like men's living spaces and it's just like a foldout chair with like a TV on the ground. Yeah. And like a PS4 slid. And a fucking orange would come all over it.

Hey guys. I want you to meet. I want you to meet Lily. An orange. An orange. An orange. It's the first fruit I was thinking of them. She is orange.

That's been, that's been. An orange that's been fucked raw for like just days. It's like, yo, dude, slow down. It's just a massive orange peel and fucking gum in like a pile. That is crazy. That is wild. My girlfriend of seven years or whatever. I can't carry around in a Ziploc bag.

That is so fucking man. That's so, man. Stop, please. I mean, it's, we. joke around but you know from all the shit that you've seen on like fucking Reddit or whatever or that Justin Wang covers that there is somebody doing that there is absolutely some guy that has somebody drilling a hole in an orange and fucking into

fucking it which is so wild to me because of the citrus then that got like orange on my I would fucking orange not for an Iran like I'd fucking orange but it's I wonder I just wonder what's going to happen you know like I would do it for some like wilds like that but I wouldn't like call it my girlfriend like I'd be very very very Very weird. It's an orange. All right,

yeah, no, that's, no, yeah, that's, that would be crazy. No,

there's, it's way crazy to think you're dating it, Chris. You can't, you can't, you can not tell me that's not crazy.

Of course, it's obvious, it's obviously crazy to think you're dating an orange that you're fucking, obviously.

That's just kind of weird. So how do you feel? That's not just kind of weird, man. I could forgive someone for doing it. Like,

I wouldn't judge them too much for doing that. It's not about forgiving. It's not like a sin How much would do you do? So let's put it like this. I would take that very seriously.

If I do somebody. You know, fuck that are it? I didn't say personally. I wouldn't say I'm like personally offended by it because it's like ultimately like they're not hurting anybody. They're just doing something that I can't fucking fathom. I can't fucking fat like there are things in this world that I can that I can fathom. That I can understand why you would want to do even though I don't do it.

You know what I mean? Like skydiving. I can fathom that. I understand. It's like because I get it. I wouldn't do it. Enjoying a healthy dinner that tastes great means eating out at a pricey restaurant, right? Wrong.

Healthy Choice Simply steamers are delicious and healthy. The tray-and-tray steam technology delivers crisp veggies and tender protein and tasty selections. Like Healthy Choice Simply Steamers grilled chicken and broccoli alfredo. It's a sadist. A satisfying meal with 28 grams of protein and nothing artificial. Healthy Choice Simply Steemers. What having it all tastes like. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.

Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome.

I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. 1. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got to an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 316. five. Wow. Dan Morgan from Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from

thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. But I get it. Right. Let's fucking an orange. Let's just say like, let's just say, it's not specifically at orange too. Your Honor and curiosity. One of your friend is like, yeah, so I was like, this is really dumb, but I fucked an orange. I was just like, I just wonder what would happen. I worked Orange. I did it. It was, it was just a messy stinging experience. And I'm moving on from that. At least I know now. How, at least, How much would that alter your relationship with them? It depends on what age we were.

If it was now, it would be very weird. It was fucking back in middle school. It was so recent that his hands are sticky. His hands are sticky. And he had pope on his upper hips. He didn't even clean up. He was trying to clean up. But you got there.

And you got there. You interrupted him. So you came over. And he answered the door. He answered the door. He was like, God damn it. He came over. He took the...

He answered the door. There's like a long string of come from his hand of the doorknob. Hey, sorry. I'm in the middle of something. I do you. I don't know, man. I... It would alter my relationship.

First of all, I would never feel comfortable eating anything at his house. Absolutely. That's done. Eating at his house is a done experience. Because to me, because to me, an orange... is probably like one of the least fuckable things as far as food goes. So,

yeah, yeah. So like, I can't even imagine what else. What do you mean the least fuckable? Because it's a fucking round surface. It's like a round, it's like a sphere.

And also, it's not even like a vacancy where it would make at least some level of sense. You know what I mean? Like it's just a hard. That would be, what is, look, an orange is what it's fuckable as pretty much anything else that's food to me.

Other than things that are phallic shaped. Like, phallic shaped things are the least fuckable things to me. Because they're fallacy. Well, you can get fucked by them. So, that's what I mean? So, like, what is more fuckable than an orange? But no, no.

Hold on. Yeah, loaf of bread. Yeah, loaf of bread, I fuck over an orange. That's what I'm saying. You acknowledge, you acknowledge that there's a, there's a tier list of these things. We should make a tier list of most fuck of most fucking food. Yeah, let's do. Bread.

Yeah, let's do it. Yeah. That's good. Okay, so guys, can I tell you something that I recently found out that was like, it's really fucked up in a base, but the idea of it is also really fucking funny. Okay, what? Because there was this, obviously, you guys remember the period of time with those fucking psychopaths. We're like coming on people on the street, right?

Let's fucking, just like a complete absurd bullshit, right? Yes, I do. That's fucked, right? That's super fucked and respectful, superly horrible, right? Let me finish. Wait, let me finish. We finished. I love the bravery in that statement.

fucking coming in someone's bag. Like having someone have a looking open bag. Like somebody open up their sports bag or the gym bag and you come in their gym bag. It's kind of fucking hilarious to me. I mean, I will say it's much less offensive and much less illegal than coming on somebody. I will say that. Someone's going to dig in their bag.

They open it up and you none of it. Everybody open it up and they're like, oh, what's this? That's rage inducing, man. That is absolutely. I gotta imagine, I can't even, look, is it worse? Is it worse? It's probably worse that it's cold, right? Like that's, that's, it's probably worse, right?

You gotta, you gotta, you gotta do it when they're about to interact with their bag. You gotta edge yourself, you gotta edge yourself until they're about to reach in their bag. This sounds like some shit you did back in the fucking, back in the day with their basketball homies or some shit. Nah, I never know. I'm not that vial. I'm not that vial. I've always wanted to be, but I can never bring myself to do things that fucked up. I just, that is so much preparate.

That is so, that is skill to be able to, like, you, in order to pull that off and not be detected, that's like splinter cell, like, fucking Etsyo Adetore. No, that's fucking agent 47, shit, man. That's Agent 47 fucking Sam Fisher tier stealth skills to be able to, to be able to edge yourself in public discreetly enough that you're able to come on commitment. And in someone's bag. So I think I know how you do it. So you get like a triple X hoodie, right? It's big enough. And then basically you point your hard penis to 12 o'clock, which is something that I didn't know.

Do you know this fucking blew my mind? Because I was not one of the kids that would hide boners. Always thought it was funny. Like, say, if you had morning wood, I'd sleep in my classrooms. And I just walk out of the classroom with the fucking hard-ass dick. You're a fucking monster. Hey, you're an animal. bro it's fucking natural why can women have the hard ass nips and it's totally fine everyone's

like what about my heart and my heart ass dick and rubbing his dick against someone's fucking ear as he walks past him we're like yo what the fuck dude just whatever i learned way later in life that you could put your dick to 12 o'clock you didn't know that in your waistband no i did because i never i never felt a shame to hide my He never had the shame to want to hire, which is crazy. You're a fucking Spartan. That might be, the 12 o'clock might be one of the first things I learned. For real, dude.

I probably learned in high school or something. Like, and I was like, oh. I always had a baggy hoodie just in case because there was no way. Like, because let's face it, even at the 12 o'clock, it's pretty fucking obvious. Yeah. So, like, you got to have. If you don't have something over. Yeah, yeah.

You got to. This the head of your dick is this out of your fucking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you took in your shirt like a dumb ass and you put your dick over your shirt. That is animalistic, dude. And he's like, yo, what are you doing, dude? And that shit just, you're walking fast, bro.

You're walking fast. That's just rubbing against your shaft and you just bust. You're like, oh, shit. I wish somebody, you know, you know what it would be amazing. If you could somehow There'd be no way to plan this But I just think this scenario is hilarious If you do that

You do the 12 o'clock Oh my God And then for some reason You lay down And then you fall asleep And someone puts your hand in water So you So they

When you pee Piss on your face You just piss all over your fucking face The idea The worst prank ever dude That'd be so sadistically evil Imagine like yeah Like jackass or CKY

Like oh he fell asleep Biaz morning would then they literally 12 o'clock his boner and they get the water and fucking that's so fucking

bro you got me first of all that's that is so clearly assault very very so if anybody is listening to this

don't do that I'm not to we're not trying to be we're look we're not trying to be fucking Miranda sings we're trying to be responsible with the people who watch our stuff

who are maybe a little bit younger do not fucking do this is this is hilarious the idea of the idea unmistakably but don't do it yeah of getting a belt changing your boy's pants putting on jeans

12 o'clocking his dick and fastening the belt so he pisses on himself is that is so much finesse there's so much finesse to not wake up to not wake him up the way how he pulls his pants he just goes one

quick pull where he goes by the ankles and it's one yank and his band. Oh, like, like, yeah, it's in the tables. You know what it's like the table? The tablecloth. It's like, yo, you're not going to be able to take his pants off with one yank. It's like, how much you want to take his pants with one yank? Bet.

Oh, my fucking gosh. The idea of the tablecloth trick with someone's pants is so fucking funny. Like, you'd be able to do it so swiftly that, like, they don't even move. It's just the idea. So much crazy is that the idea of people that exist like this is terrifying. Because if they supplied themselves to real nefarious shit, they are, that's a killer. Someone that can pull your pants off without you waking up is a, that is an assassin that just hasn't been pointing in the right direction yet. The thing that's crazy about it is we, we have these thoughts, right?

We're talking about this stuff. We would never do any of this. Yeah, whenever. That means there are people who would. You know what I mean? Like there are people who like who will think of these things and they're like absolutely I want to do this I'm not even gonna think second I'm not even gonna think again about it. It's like yeah my friend's sleeping I'm just gonna give him a blowjob now he's gay and it's like what are you doing? That's a salt bro. That's a son-you're gay now. You can't put your flaccid dick in someone's nose bro. That's such a 2003 fucking that's such a 2003 insult too. Oh bro you're gay you came in my mouth you're gay bro. You're trying to put your flasky a dick in your friend's ears

so you get come in his ear, bro. Do you understand how not okay that is? Yeah, it's fucking funny. It's like, no, it's not. You can't touch people's genitals or touch them with your genitals while they're not conscious. I mean, tell that to all those.

I imagine having to explain that to someone. That's the thing right there. That's why I always got annoyed when there was the the feminist thing of teaching men not to rape. I'm like, oh, oh, the people that are raping, they know they're not supposed to do it.

And they do it. There was so many dumb, there were so many dumb, like, phrases that came out of that time where it's just like, this is not intelligent conversation at all. Teach people not to, I'm like, what? Like, they don't know. It's like, why don't you put signs on? It's like, why don't you put signs up that say no crime allowed? Yeah, yeah.

It's like, oh, man. Like, I don't work that way, man. I can understand the arguments, right? Where, like, people aren't taught the right tools to understand why they want to to do these things. Therefore they, and so they go out and they do it instead of like fully understanding why they shouldn't do it. Yeah, yeah, but that's not going to stop it.

I guess the thing, but the thing about it is like these, these ideas need to be talked about. They don't need to, they don't need to be simplified, simplified into slogans that miss the point. You know what I mean? Like there's too much of an emphasis on making a really complicated message short and digestible, but in doing that, you just kind of lose everything that it's supposed to mean. I totally agree. I just don't think it helped. I totally agree.

You can say something like... There needs to be more except as well conversation because conversation is very important. There's a lot of things that have happened in this society that we just don't talk about that we really need to talk about so he can get some bottom of ground. Because we don't know people stand. Yeah.

And I like that. Like I want to clarify about that. Like, sort of expounding on what you were saying, Chris, there are social cues that can be talked about that some people would be oblivious to, like say something that could Yeah, like don't walk around with a fucking erection. Yeah, Derek, don't fucking bulldoze to your friends are a bowder. I was a fucking minor, bro.

You can't touch me. That, like, literally. Literally. That's crazy. Can't touch this. You couldn't do shit to me, man. I was just a dumb-ass kid in school. Literally, and I couldn't even be in trouble for school because it's literally a natural thing that happens to men.

And I was just like, why am I? Did you never, let me ask you, you never got in trouble for that? No. Because you can't get in trouble for it's fascinating. You can't. You can't get in trouble. You can't get in trouble for Natch for something. That would be a fucking like a national outrage, like a story, which I would have loved

that that happened to me if I ended up in like the newspaper. I was in the newspaper one time for, did I tell you guys this one time, this kid, we might have talked about this because, you know, everybody was talking about, oh, the jab is causing my old carditis or whatever, blah, blah, blah, that stupid shit during the pandemic. And all that. And there was a kid that I was. was saying there was a kid that dropped dead from when we're running a half half mile at my middle school just kind of say that this shit happens every once in a while right and i was and i don't

remember if i mentioned this on the podcast but it was hot as fuck that day just happened to be hot and i was leaning on the fucking flagpole like because i'm like god it's so hot i'm waiting for uh this boys and girls club van that i would take i would go to the boys and girls club and the fucking news people took a picture of me like i was mourning for this guy and i didn't even know him I didn't even know the digger. So they made me look like I was crying. And I made it in the newspaper. And I was like,

that's crazy. These people are slime balls. But it was kind of cool that I made it there. And I would not mind making it in the newspaper be like, boy, gets suspended for having boner. And all of a sudden, people are like,

what? Wait, what's this? And I'd be like, I guess, I guess, I guess that's fair. Yeah.

It's like, I'm not doing anything to fairies. I literally would wake up from like having a nap during class. And then I'd have a fucking hard thing. You're not coming in people's earwise or nothing. But like, so real quick, this is for Derek, but also for the audience in case something, in case something about that seems fucky. Derek, you completely froze for us for like a good 30 seconds.

So we were like, oh, that's interesting. Well, what? Really? Did my audio freeze? Yeah. Yeah, everything held up. And then you came back and continued a conversation. They were like, oh, did we not, did we freeze on your side too?

Oh, my God, that is fucked up. So when I was giving my whole little fucking soliloquy about hard kicks and shit. We got the end, we got the end, but we were talking about, like, how you vanished. So there might need to be, like, a weird edit. You might have to, like, cut us out. Enjoying a healthy dinner that tastes great means eating out at a pricey restaurant, right? Wrong. Healthy Choice Simply steamers are delicious and healthy.

healthy. The tray-and-tray steam technology delivers crisp veggies and tender protein and tasty selections like Healthy Choice Simply Steamers grilled chicken and broccoli Alfredo. It's a satisfying meal with 28 grams of protein and nothing artificial. Healthy Choice Simply steamers. What having it all tastes like. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm Dan Morgan. I I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome.

I think I saw billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.

So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow.

Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. I will... Because we're just going to be talking about how you're not there. What the fuck?

That is so bizarre because I didn't see you got... That doesn't make any fucking sense. This is this ghost-ass shit. I don't know. It was this ghost bullshit, man. All right, well, we're back, though. We're back. Yeah, yeah, anyway.

Let's get into some questions. Let's do it. I guess. Oh, yeah. We're talking about fucking 12 o'clocking penises. But quick break before. That's right. Click and collect.

Order confirmed. Dad, tomorrow can we start a band? Can we become robots? Affirmative. Can we go crab battling? That isn't a thing. How about swimming? Dad.

Can we take an app? You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal. Deal. While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials. Book your free click and collect slot at tesco.e or in app. Tesco, every little helps. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome back.

If you went somewhere else. We're going to do some questions now. And by the way, keep in mind you can always join in on the conversation. You can leave us questions at patreon.com slash the snark tank. and get your questions in. Make sure they're, you know, look, man, a lot of you guys write essays. Not reading an essay, man. There's so many of you.

There's so many of you. And we thank you. We thank you. Which is awesome and great, but I want to, we want to get to everybody as often as possible. Okay. So my advice to you guys is keep it relatively brief. Keep the, the spelling and grammar reasonable. I'm not asking for like, you know, I'm not asking for like, you know, I'm not asking for like,

crazy high standards here. But proofread your ship before you post it, please. That's all. Yeah. Proof read it. Edit it down.

Because we want to get you in here. Yeah. You know? I never like, I don't like skipping out on questions, but like some of them are just like they're so long. Yeah. Anyway.

Thank you, though. But, but, but let's see, let's see. Colleen, Colleen Ballinger's crusty panties she sent to an underage fan rodent.

Nice. I love. I love it, man. I love all these people are always on point. Yeah, they're on top, man. They're on top of it. They're ready. They said, if you could bring any horror novel character or horror video game character to life, who would it be and why? I want those nurses from Silent Hill. Why would you do that? That's so terrible.

I mean, you know who I want. I mean, come on. Everybody, I want the vampire bitches from Resident Evil 8. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's true. I would choose, I would choose non-transful. transform Salazar. So I can see people beat the fuck out of him. He's so adorable, man. He's trying to be like everybody starts kicking him in a face.

He starts kicking him in a fucking jaw. Why are you? He would get abused so... Well, here's the thing, though. He would he would either get absolutely tortured or he would be so famous.

Yeah. Like he's pretty much Osbula. Yeah, I was going to say he's like, He's like, He's like Hasbula. And like Ricky Berwick put together in some, in some weird, like, some weird manifestation of sin.

You combine those two of my brain. That's disgusting. So sad. That is literally the most disgusting thing. Like I follow him on TikTok. You follow him even though he abused his cat. He abused his fucking cat, bro. He abused his cat.

The cat, that's a viable enemy to him. Oh my God. You don't understand. I don't think you guys get it. That's why everybody's getting so fucking upset about it. Like in D&D, a half. Right, which he pretty much is a standard Chihuahua is a threat That is a that is a person coming for your throat

You got into Hasmila getting his fucking throat ripped out by a fucking chihuah That is a creature coming for your throne, bro. Vicious, cunty fucking animals There was a, there's a video of Hasbola And I'm like, good, draw your blade There's a video, there's a video of Hasbila shoving a cat in a microwave and turning it on Yeah And I, you know, I just, I don't

resources. Those cats are days. And I don't like spreading, I don't like spreading misinformation, all right? That's insane. Chris, you don't get it. You don't get it, dude. So you have to understand that this is very real. Imagine every cat you encounter with pretty much a fucking jaguar. That is his life.

It's not exactly a jaguar, but I understand what you said. He kept as a pet, though, so your fucking argument is null and void. One day he realized, some people take alligators as pets and tigers as pets. And still, and then they realize, and they realize, they realized they made a slight mistake and they have to defend themselves. Do you guys know?

I saw this video recently and I think I knew this but I kind of like filed it away under information that I would never need again. Yeah. But it came up again and I found it interesting. Do you know Steve Irwin's kid is dead? Like they're literally crocodile hunters?

Yeah, absolutely. They're going to boy and a girl. I followed them. Yeah, they're both. They both do it. Yeah. I follow them. I know Mandy's the daughter, right? Mandy's the daughter, right?

Yeah. I knew she was doing, she was little, little, she was doing stuff like that. And then I saw the son eventually. The son looks just like him, like identical to him. Yeah, it's crazy. It's weird. You know those fucking stingrays are just thirsty. They're just looking at them.

That's the thing. That's how to you ascend. They got to kill an Irwin. Oh my God. The idea is like, it's like they're on a destiny quest. And he's like they're taken king. He's like they have, in order to progress, they have to defeat an Irwin. Dude, I don't know, man

Like, I look at that And I'm like, you're tempting fate Like crazy Yeah, dude Like, I'm sorry But like, why would you go anywhere near that shit? You think it goes to like an aquarium With like a shield or something

And just the fucking stingrays They start slamming against the water Boom Do you think he meant Do you think Do you think Not today, little fucka Do you think they met the stingray?

Oh like they've Like they've had a showdown You think he like You fucking hunted him? The one that killed him? The one I killed... Yeah, do you think that Steve Irwin's kids met the Stingray that killed?

Yeah, like, Steve Irwin is probably... What, the... I don't know the whole story of why he got killed. So, what do you mean why? Like, a Stingray killed him. So this is what happened. Like, what was he doing exactly? Like, he was not like a...

He was just filming some shit, right? He was filming some shit, and the Stingray was like, hey, you know, approaching to my territory, so I stabbed you on the heart. And then so this is what happened actually very recently, if you guys didn't know about this. Many people missed this. story. So the submersible, that whole

Ocean Gate shit, that actually had nothing to do with the Titanic. That was the cover. So apparently there was a kingdom of Stingray down there. And that Stingray that killed Steve Irwin is their king. And

they're working on So he's a king ray. It's a Stingray. Yeah, he's a king. Yeah, he's literally named King Ray. They spoke to them. And so the back end, the funding of Ocean Gate is actually the Irwin estate. And they were prepping to get

whatever Irwin, son Irwin, Irwin's son, yeah, Irwin's son. Well, I think that's what he's called now. To slay King Ray. Irwin's son. Irwin's son versus King Ray is almost there. The idea, let me ask you, let me, the premise of the Stingray that killed

Steve Irwin becoming a king and setting his new civilization in the wreckage of the Titanic is fucking incredible. That's a story. That's what game of throne shit right there, bro. That is that is, we will stake our flag in the triumph of sea

over land. And the Titanic is that is that place. Yeah, that actually is a great place. That like for sentient fucking yeah, that actually, that works. The self-aware, conscious fucking stingray. They do the name more thing from Black Panther.

I didn't see Black Menace with Namor You walk into all these stingray All these humanoid stingrays swinging around They're like Zoras from Zelda pretty much now They've evolved that far It's like holy shit dude The King Ray we gotta kill the King Ray Someone has to challenge the King Ray

And so now you know How the submersible Ocean Gate thing Now you know how it How it really went down You know exactly why that thing They found what was left of it Yeah, exactly.

They found what was left of the sting-raised damage. Did you see the accurate... Did you see the accurate computer simulation of what the sub? Like, the actual accurate one, not that meme one that was, like, going around, like, the day of... That one was really funny. Of, like, what it would be like to be... What it would be like to be in the sub? Oh. Is it bad?

Or, like, how the sub would implode? Yeah. Dude, it is so fast. It's insane. Yeah, you're not. Like, I... You don't know what's going on. I understood...

I understood the concept of it, where it's, like, it happens. happens quicker than humans can perceive, but like seeing it, like, simulated is fucking crazy. It's, it's, it's, uh, you wouldn't even notice it's, it's, it's being a one extremely durable guy. So it's like crack you're like, ah, because you're just, that's how you find out. You find out, you're indestructible because you went down on the ocean gate thing and survive. So you're just, instead of crushing you, it like kind of like, it's, instead of crushing you, it like, it encaves in, it's almost like a carbonite thing where you're like encased in this steel. You ever seen like somebody, you ever seen somebody like doing the, the simulators of like 9 Gs or whatever,

and their faces like fucking all just slipping off like their skin just like separating from their eyes and shit? Yeah. Just down there and just like, and you got to like somehow make it to the, to the full, to the service. They come out there and they get you. They got to carve you out like Iron Man. They got to take you out the suit. And they're like, so that was pretty very painful probably. You're also, you're also invincible.

So, you know, that's cool. Does your cells... Do your cells reconstruct your body? Or are you just, like, paper for forever? Are you just so fucking... If you're immortal, you regenerate, right? And if you're invincible, you don't take damage. Enjoying a healthy dinner that tastes great

means eating out at a pricey restaurant, right? Wrong. Healthy Choice Simply steamers are delicious and healthy. The tray-and-tray steam technology delivers crisp veggies and tender protein and tasty selections, like Healthy Choice Simply Steamers grilled chicken and broccoli alfredo. It's a satisfying meal with 28 grams of protein and nothing artificial. Healthy Choice Simply steamers. What having it all tastes like.

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good. man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.

And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. Well, he doesn't regenerate. He's, he's just, he's just very durable. He's just very durable

And he was just in a And he was in a place where life can't really exist So he's like he's gonna be fine But he will never look the same Like he'll recover to the point He ate his green vegetables is what happened Right He's in a bad way

Can we just like send some nukes to the bottom And see what happens I want to see what on earth You fuck up the water everywhere No it's cool Like I want to see what giant sea monsters Float to the service After we blow them up

I think that's the only way I think that's the only way we can see what's at the very bottom but yeah I don't want to Go fund me well let's get it done When you said that thing

The size of a country blinking And then moving around On the water I would a big ass eye Just staring at us And it blinks After you put the ocean You want a new continent

That may be That should dies And then we just embalm it And then we have a new continent No I don't want that I don't want to live on something I was living Whatever

That's what all land is. It's just the corpses of dead giants. Wow. Right talking. Anyway, let's move on. Let's move on. Swarth wrote in. He goes,

Hello, Snarkverse. Longtime listener, first time patron. I would like to preface my question by saying there's a Mass. Affect theater ride at the Great America theme park in the Bay Area of California.

I heard about that. If you were to take a game and make a theme park ride out of it, what would it be? What would it be? I heard about that. First of all, I didn't know that. I don't know if that's true

or if that's a lie. It is real. I remember the... The being announced that I just completely forgot about it. I got to go do that. What could that even be? Probably just a bunch of... Like you're just in the Mako as it tips over?

Probably. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. It's destroyed in the beginning of two. Oh, yeah. You're just watching it get destroyed in two, and you're like, yay! You got to go see Joker's bitch-ass. Fuck, Joe...

Joker is, man, like... What's what would soldiers, Man, I'm going to like this. Look, no, Joker's fine, but it's one of those things where at that point, I'm like, you deserve to die for not fucking hustling out of there. Like, ooh, I could save it. I could save it. I could save it. I could save it. I'm like, no, bro.

No, no, you deserve so much death. To a theme part, A? Resident Evil's like, Resident Evil is, they do a lot of haunted house stuff with Resident Evil, I feel like. Yeah. Well, Reds and I think I've seen that before, like, at, like, E3 and stuff. So, like, maybe not like a ride. Remember the Minecraft madness. You know what I would want? I would want a Spider-Man ride where you actually have to swing. Okay, yeah. Yeah, definitely. That's what I want. That's not going to be liable at all. Hersleyville five ride where you meet some light-skinned black girl with a fat ass, and you and her walk her out and shoot other blacks in the face. That'd be kind of fucking hilarious. That's crazy. Oh, hang. Okay. You shoot Stars people five? You shoot dark skinned all other niggins in a face.

He's such a fucking dick. I mean, that would be a pretty good fucking, I guess. You don't think people would pay to swing around like Spider-Man? I think most people can't do it, so that's the problem. Yeah. Yeah, but most people, you're right. However, I want to. Okay.

You would have to charge like the fucking host. I'm down. $250,000 a ticket because otherwise, you know, and waivers of you're going to probably die. Yeah, but the thing is we've seen the Titanic already. Yeah, that's true. The thing about the Ocean Gate, the thing that's sad about the Ocean Gate isn't that, or not sad, but like, I think that's pathetic and fucking stupid about the Ocean Gate thing. Isn't that it happened? It's that it happened on the way to the Titanic, a thing that we've seen like a million times.

An infinity billion times. Like that's, yeah, like, it's not even, it's not even remote. uncharted territory like even slightly. Like if this dude was like trying to like, if this dude was trying to independently go to the moon or something and and like without

like without NASA or whatever it's like that would be that would still be stupid but at least it's like oh okay he's going to the fucking moon like we don't really we haven't really gone to the moon that much we got to like a square yeah I would at least respect There's a lot more you can explore on the fucking moon

than that dumbass ship how many times can you see that stupid ship and there's yeah and there's a lot of astronauts who would be like i think everybody who is an astronaut like professionally which is i can't imagine that there's that many but like i think every single one of them would if if you were to if you were to tell them like hey we're going on a suicide mission to mars i think i think the overwhelming majority of them would be like yeah let's go yeah you know what i mean like that's just kind of their job to do that shit i'd go right now going to the fucking titanic is so dumb and lame fuck the fuck the ocean dude just i would never do that is this the ocean's

whack, bro. Just no. The Titanic didn't even want to, the Titanic didn't even want to go where it ended up. Enjoying a healthy dinner that tastes great means eating out at a pricey restaurant, right? Wrong. Healthy Choice Simply steamers are delicious and healthy. The tray-and-tray steam technology delivers crisp veggies and tender protein and tasty selections,

like Healthy Choice Simply Steamers grilled chicken and broccoli Alfredo. It's a satisfying meal with 28, grams of protein and nothing artificial. Healthy Choice Simply Steemers. What having it all tastes like. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today?

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number.

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America. large injury law from thanks for coming by the show thanks for having me visit for the people.com for an office near you you know yeah so like what are you doing i don't know why it's just man i don't know what's so sexy about it man uh like it's you it's you can see it there's great

fucking 4k images of it is and now like there is i don't see it up close it's it probably looks worse than the pictures like seeing it because like seeing it through like a shitty window or or seeing it through like I want to see it in person I want to look at a shrimp getting torn to pieces

on the bow of the Titanic like what's the what's the what do you get from it $250,000 to go see the Titanic and die that that that's what makes it tragic that is what makes it a tragic situation no but don't you don't but don't you think that's like

that's like paying $250,000 to do a bungee jump off of the Twin Towers and then fall and then it breaking. It's like what did like you're not doing anything new. 3,000 people died already in the fucking in the in fucking 9-11. You're not doing anything by bungee jumping off a similar height and dying yourself and paying a quarter million dollars to do it. It's fucking so stupid. But why haven't they built the towers, God damn it. I want them back. It's just, it's, I don't know.

There's a hole there now. Can I, can I? Okay, so can I say something that's, I don't know how controversial this is. I don't know how controversial this is to say. Mm-hmm. Those buildings were kind of ugly. I don't agree. You don't agree?

They were not ugly, Chris. They were old. I mean, they're kind of, 100%, yeah. Because it's just like a, it's just like a tall rectangle. It was like, there was no style. Because, because I, which you probably, knew, they were modernizing that area. They were like doing some of an area, but that building was so big

because they were not really like modernizing it yet. Because it looked older than the rest of the area was around. Obviously, you know that part. No, I understand. But what I'm saying is like you have the Empire State Building and the Chrysler building and all these like really like gorgeous looking buildings. Right. And then you have the Twin Towers and they just kind of look like, I don't know.

Kick cats. I personally, I knew that the Twin Towers existed, but like I almost never associated them with New York. York even as like a child like because to me I just saw them as like because I remember seeing them and I was just like those things I don't know like I Chris I guess that's New York dude that's it is part of it that's the start of it I understand but it was it was always a part of the skyline that like I personally was like I remember you know it's fucked up I remember thinking specifically at a certain point it was like I was like I was like six and I remember being like

city would look a lot better without those those buildings That's crazy. And I remember, I remember distinctly thinking that. You're gonna lose your New York card, bro. Stop safe. I mean, whatever, dude. Like, they've been gone for, like, the overwhelming majority of my life. So, like, I don't care.

But, anyway. What the fuck were you doing? He was insulting our fucking home, you dickhead. I'm not insulting it. I just, I think the new building that they put there is better. I mean, the holes? The CGI. The Freedom Tower, right?

The Freedom Fries Tower, yeah. Stop. It's real. What is this? The Freedom fries. Remember that? Oh, my God. Tom, I would beat my pussy to death Sweeney.

Or Tom, I would beat a pussy to death Sweeney, wrote in. It says, hey, Mr. New Vegas, three dog, and Travis Lonely Miles. Earlier today, I walked in on my dad and my grandma watching an Andrew Tate interview, and I immediately thought slightly less of them. Is there any situation that you guys have had similar to that? So I have, I do have something. I do have something. I walked in on my parents,

both of them, watching sniper wolf. What? Which is, like SS sniper wolf? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And how? Were they sick?

No. It was just like, it was just, because she does that, just general it's just that it's it's it's literally just tick talk on youtube you know it's it's reaction content and they they they like that because they're just older and they just they've seen everything already they've watched nc i s a million times they've seen every movie that's available so i guess they're just kind of delving into youtube now and that's just the stuff i i remember just watching i i walked in and i was like they're watching sniper wolf but her like her like what is she she just reacts to video it's literally just reaction are they even good reactions

though, like, I feel like... I mean... Let's be real. What are good reactions, you know? That's the thing. It's like... Let's be real. Before we start...

I'm not going to judge... Your mom and dad have been very nice to me, so I'm not going to judge them ever. There's technically... They're cool. Good is, I guess, entertaining is what I mean. Not necessarily good. But entertaining. I think the funniest reactions are like when we're on stream and we're here, it's

on stream and we're making jokes. I think those are... You know what it is? You know what it is? As I was watching them watch it, I realized what it was. It wasn't about, it was exactly what everybody assumed reaction content was. It's not about the fact that they're not watching for sniper wolf. They're watching for the stuff that she and her editors curate.

Right. And it's like, it's like one of those things where it's like, I'll be scrolling through TikTok and I'll see a clip of something. And underneath that clip, there will be like subway surfers gameplay or like some random like mobile game playing. underneath it. Right? And that's TikTok. And when I'm scrolling to TikTok, I'll see those videos and I will watch them because my thought is I'm scrolling randomly and I just found this thing that I'm curious about, this clip above the gameplay. I'm not going to look this clip up because I'm

already watching it. Also, I don't have the context necessary to Google this. So while it's here in front of me, I will continue to watch it because I can just ignore the other half. And that's what it is. But because of that, their recommended are full of sniper wolf, and my fucking TikTok algorithm is full of people

fucking doing parkour and Minecraft and fucking all this. But edited underneath clips of actually interesting things, like people beating the shit out of each other, or Karen's getting fucking slapped in malls. So it's like, I don't know. I don't know. It's an algorithmic mess.

Can I, can I, can I, I, I, funny? Yeah. So, you know those games where it's like the guy, that people are like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're perpetually going forward and they're like, yeah, and they like, end those runners. Yeah. And they like, go through the games, like, now it multiplies to more of them, or it advances them through technology, or they get more guns.

Watching those things, sometimes as ads make me so upset as of how bad they're playing. And I'm like, I just want to play it to see how good I can do. Well, that's, you know, that's, you know, that's stupid. Well, that's literally, that's, well, that's literally the strategy. It's like, they'll have, it's so fascinating. They'll have like these gameplay or like, you'll never solve this puzzle, right? And it'll be like the simplest puzzle in the world. And then you'll watch somebody and you'll watch somebody just fuck it up.

Like, endlessly. Like the whole ad is just somebody fucking up the puzzle. And then you're thinking like, fuck this guy. I can do this. And then you download it. I never did it. It never works on me. But like I understand that that's what they're doing.

It's never the real game. You download Candy Crush and you gave some Chinese company your exact IP address. That's what it is. It's like, ah, man, I'm going to do it one day. Hand your social security number over to the Chinese mafia or whatever. Yeah, we're going to go find this guy. We're going to eat his kids. We've been talking about bringing the N-word club back.

I would say the first episode would have to be all of those fucking ridiculous fucking mobile game ads and just just curating them because they're getting. If I saw a dog get kicked in the nuts, then fart. Like I saw, I saw fucking, like, I think it was tigers holding the dog and then another one kicks it in the nuts. And I'm like, I can't believe what I'm seeing. Oh my God. Monica posted one where some girl was like stretching and she farted in his guy's face and killed him. And then she didn't have her wedding because of that or something like that.

And I was like, Monica, what the fuck is that? There's this one called Lily's Garden. This is one called Lily's Garden that I've been like, I've been flirting around with the idea of making a video on it, like a weird wide web or something, because like they are so ridiculous. But at the same time, like, the thing that bothers me about it is that they're so ridiculous that, like, it's what they, like, it's literally what they want you to do. Right. You know what I mean? Right. They want to perpetuate.

Like, they want people to talk about, like, this crazy mobile game ad that they saw. So, like, I'm torn between making content that I think could be entertaining, but also, playing into a fucking advertising campaign that I understand is using me. Dude, it's like I can't quite reconcile it yet. I think I'll end up doing it still, but I don't know. It bothers me.

And it works, bro. It works? Yeah, but you're susceptible to that stuff. I've only downloaded one thing. I've downloaded one mobile game just because the puzzle aspect of it, it intrigued me. I forget what it's called.

It starts with an ear. something ever. I forget what it's called, but it's just that thing where... That narrows it down. Yeah, I know it. I'm sure you guys seen it. It's usually a guy that's trying to get some treasure.

And there's little puzzles you got to do. Like, oh, you have to... The lava, like, lev it, and then get cool off the water. And it turns out of rocks. Oh, yeah. It's like fake physics. Yeah. It's some bullshit like that.

I was like, I want to play this. But it's, that is, of course, like... 20% of the game. And then it's all just a thing where all right, grind this, grind that, get resources, build up your tower defense. Like the rest of it, like, I always see these games where it's like, it's like

these intricate narratives about like wives cheating on their husbands and like fucking affairs and like soap operatier fucking storytelling. And then like you play the game and it's literally just bejeweled or like fucking hexic HD. Candy crush. Yeah, like, God damn. It's literally

just match. It's color matching. It's candy crush. That's the whole fucking thing. That's the whole fucking thing. sass in your fucking home address on the dark web. You're like, shit, dude, I got to move. I gotta leave this person behind. I'm gonna kill me.

Oh my God. We got it. Okay, this question. What we got? Gaying my way downtown. Very cool. He said, Hey, fellas.

What is a video game that made little kid you realize not every video game is good? I have two that were on the PS2. First one is Ed. Netty is an Edinetti game. Was it the submarine? That could only, that only had five levels to it. Enjoying a healthy dinner that tastes great means eating out at a pricey restaurant, right? Wrong.

Healthy Choice Simply Steamers are delicious and healthy. The tray-and-tray steam technology delivers crisp veggies and tender protein and tasty selections. Like Healthy Choice Simply Steamers, grilled chicken. and broccoli Alfredo. It's a satisfying meal with 28 grams of protein and nothing artificial. Healthy Choice Simply Steemers. What having it all tastes like. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said

billion one 20 million is an insane number yeah 20 billion recovered it's actually I think somewhere north probably closer to 22 23 after this year and each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on awesome so how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan what would I do if I got into an accident probably the easiest way is dialing pound law that's pound 529 from your cell phone we are always open our call center is always waiting to take your call 24 7, 365.

Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. It was extremely short and little me was astounded that a game like that could exist. The second one was a game called Search and Destroy. It had tanks on the cover, so I thought it would be cool. Instead, it fucking sucked.

To make things worse, my game couldn't save. There were no scratches on the disc. It was just a dog should copy for her. dog shit game. Very cool. I love this question. It got you, buddy. And I love this question

because Oh, he has something. Oh, he has something. He went to read things weren't good. Search and Seek and Destroy. I have a couple on PlayStation 1.

PlayStation 1 started making some dog shit-ass games. I'm so glad that somebody else knows about fucking search and destroy. I can't believe somebody else in the chat

or somebody else in the in the audience actually knew about this because I had the exact, exact, exact same experience

where like I saw the cover, I was like, ooh, tanks. And then I got it and then I played it and it is the worst,

it is, I think, one of the worst fucking games I think I've ever seen. Like, I can't believe how shit they made

a tank game. but like I saw that question I had to I had to pick it because I was like oh my god no one has ever mentioned that game ever who made this

my dude these are not around anymore yeah wow they're both gone I think they're gonna you think it's gonna get a remake no you think they're gonna no fucking way

no no remake what a shitty fucking I hated this I need a play I don't want to like it I need to play something again and see how it is as an adult but I'm sure it's probably still ass But I remember

I love fighting games And there was a bunch of fighting games That were released on PS1 That were kind of obscure One of them was called Battle Arena Tosheden And it looked cool Oh yeah I remember playing it

And it was just so fucking underwhelming I was so in Around that time I got a very small allowance weekly allowance. So I would have to be very careful with what I purchased. And I purchased Battle Arena Toshidin.

I remember being so fucking angry because I really enjoyed say Bashido Blade, for example. Love that game. Very cool concept. Battle Rian To Shiden was just like a fighting game with weapons

but it sucked dick. It just was so fucking underwhelming. You know what I love about that? Yeah. I'm looking at Battle Arena to Shindon. Really, really highly regarded, highly reviewed game. That's what's so crazy.

I mean, I'm like, I have to play this again because I'm seeing some people saying, I loved it. And I'm like, I don't remember having... Game Informer, 8.5, Famitsu, it's like 10 out of 10. That's crazy. I pulled up a couple of reviews too, and I was like, there's... And I was like, yo, that isn't... I almost feel like, I'm like, am I being fucking, uh...

I thought my big gaslit I need to fucking play it again as an adult and maybe some for some reason I didn't understand it but I was pretty other games that were highly regarded I loved and this one just did not feel good because I feel the same way about I think everyone universally understood that uh...

uh... Tarras Kassai or whatever was dog shit and I feel like everyone understands that now if I go on and I swear to God, I see people given any nice reviews, I feel that I would know they're bullshitting. But I feel like that one, I feel like other people universally understood. And I'd be very upset if I saw people like, no, that game was actually good. You know what I think for me.

I know it's a good game. I just don't like it personally. Like, I just don't, you know, I just don't like the game. Metal Gear Solid Rising. I did not think that was a good game. And everybody, a lot of people. And a lot of people didn't like it when it came. out too. People lie about

this is an altered history. People lie about liking that game. No, no. Chris, you're nuts. Chris, people lied about liking that game when it came out. That is not true. A lot of people did not like it came out. A few people made video game essays about it and then people change their minds. I swear to God.

No, I understand. Here's what I think happened. Here's what I think. Because I remember playing that game and really, really liking it. Before I had really had any experience with Metal Gear Solid in any real way, right? what happened was that game is a very disappointing Metal Gear Solid game. Like there is nothing about that game that evokes Metal Gear Solid at all.

It would be like if there was a Halo game that came out and it was fucking, I don't know, Marvel versus Capcom 2 or something where you're like... That would fire, but you'd be like, this is great, but also like, what the fuck is this? This is not what I want. This is not a Halo game at all. That's what happened. People didn't like the fact that it wasn't a real Metal Gear game, which it wasn't, really.

Like, not at all. And not, I shouldn't say not at all, because the story is ridiculous, just like Metal Gear Solid Story. It's funny. It's trying to convince you the Metal Gear Solid Story is like a great story. And me just sitting there like, yo, shut the, like, it's fun. It's a fun story. I think it's a great story. I think it's great.

think it's fun. It's so much fun. Great is not the word I would use. Well, I don't, what do you, what do you mean? Like, I would not like, if I'm teaching somebody the foundations of writing a story, I would not give them Metal Gear Solid, be like, follow these views. No way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't, don't follow Metal Gear. I would tell them explicitly not to. A great, the way that, the way that I think about it is, like, a great story is one that, uh, that engrosses you and Metal Gear Solid absolutely does that. And so to me, it's like, it's, I wouldn't call it like, it's, I wouldn't call it, a perfect script because Kojima writes in like such an alien way.

I would say I liked it a lot until, until what you call it, until how sloppily five was put together. Because like the story was already fucked and then the end of five story just fucked it way more. You're like, I knew this had to be true. The thing with five though, why? The thing with five is that the, yeah, but five isn't, I feel bad for five because five isn't finished. It wasn't allowed to be with him. Literally. I honestly think, I honestly think

Kojima wanted Venomis to still be big boss. I think like I could see him still being like, no, that was still a big boss. He just didn't die. You thought you killed him. I don't know. He was still around, though.

I don't know. Because you thought you killed me. He was still around technically too, actually. Look, Metal Gear Solid 5 is, is fucking awesome. Like, as a video game, dude, like, that is, I'm playing it now. And, like, as a stealth game, I don't think there's a better one.

actually. Like as far as like the actual fantasy of like infiltration and fucking sneaking and actually like using all these like and just research, the whole research and development thing. Playing it again actually like there's a lot of death stranding in middle year solid five. Like a surprising amount like more than I had even really considered. But I'm looking at I'm looking at reviews for Seek and Destroy. Yeah. And I'm I'm so happy that everybody. it's one of those things where it's like

I feel vindicated that like my my child self knew that like this was not Seek and destroy pales even further where graphics and sound are concerned each tank is pretty similar looking

with only some minute differences in design the environments are all straight out of 1995 with badly pixelated buildings and absolutely horrid looking ground textures equally painful as the camera which dude this was fucked

I wonder if this killed that studio probably. Probably died from that. That's probably a start-up. It's like sandblast games. They were like, this is all we got. We're going to be, we're going to make it big in the game world. And they fucking shat the bed. It was sick of destroying. They had to fucking die of the house. They went, they had fucking, they lost the kids.

They fucking lost everything. You really? Unless you watch gameplay of it, I think you can get a sense of how bad it is if you watch gameplay of it, but man, it really fucking reeks. Like, it is, it might be the worst game I've ever, I've ever played. And I've never mentioned it. I specifically avoid mentioning it because I really do hate it that much. The only reason I brought it up at all is because someone else out there acknowledged that this was real

and no one else that I've ever met has even known about it. I don't know. I don't really know a game that was like bad. Like, I don't like, no, there was this Jedi Star Wars game that was for like the Wii. I was dog shit, dog. I remember what it was called? Like Jedi, Jedi's bad Jedi Battles. Game was ass.

Jedi Power Battles? Was it Power Battles? I mean, that was a PS1 game. There's one for the Wii. That was so fucking terrible. And I was like, I cannot believe I fucking bought this. Oh, you know what? I mentioned this a while ago.

I don't know. Probably maybe a similar question or something, but there was a, you know, people were making all their competitors with Sonic and shit. And this one was called Awesome Possum. And that was complete ass. That sounds fucking horrible. Instead of Dr. Robotnik, right? because he wasn't Eggman in America.

The boss was named Dr. Machino. I just looked it up. Dr. Machino was the villain. He's like, Awesome Possum kicks Dr. Machino's butt. It's so fucking shitty. And my mom just like, oh, my mom was just probably like, oh, he likes dumbass animal games and then just gave me this. And I'll like, the fuck is this shit, dude?

It's not good. Mom, what the fuck is a good? This reminds you of bubsy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you ever play Bubsy? Basically, yeah. Dude, awesome, possum. That reminds you, like, because I think Crash Bandicoot was supposed to be like

Willie Wombat or something before they changed it. Willie Wombat? It probably would have died. Yeah, I'm not even kidding. It probably wouldn't the fucking take it off. Yeah, Crash Bandicoot. Crash Bandicoot, just phonetically, just saying it sounds way cooler than fucking. One thousand percent.

Fucking William Wombat. Willie Wombat. That sounds stupid as fuck. Crash Bandicoat and, Comparison sounds edgy as hell, actually. Enjoying a healthy dinner that tastes great means eating out at a pricey restaurant, right? Wrong. Healthy Choice Simply steamers are delicious and healthy.

The tray-and-tray steam technology delivers crisp veggies and tender protein and tasty selections, like Healthy Choice Simply Steamers grilled chicken and broccoli alfredo. It's a satisfying meal with 28 grams of protein and nothing artificial. Healthy Choice Simply Steemers. What having it all tastes like. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today?

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number.

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.

That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, Thanks for coming by the show.

Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. Willie Wombat. That's fucking hilarious. Willie Wombat. It's fucking crazy. Wow, Mike. It's me.

Willie Wombat. The fact that he's Ozzy makes me like him a little less from being very real. I like the Ozies, man. I don't know. For some reason, I like the Ozies and I have a bias against the Brits. I don't know what it is, man. I don't know what it is. Are New Zealanders called Kiwis?

That would they call them? Yeah. New Zealand's or Kiwis, yeah. Kiwis are cool. Kiwis are. They are very good at speaking with their minds. They just say whatever they think, and I very respect that about them, even if it's very disrespectful. They just say it.

Hell yeah, dude. What the fuck is this? Libertarian Waluigi wrote in. This will be the final one, I think. He says, if Kratos is covered in the ashes of his dead family, does that mean when Atreus was conceived? It was an incestuous necrophilic force in between Cretus, Lafay and Cretus's dead wife and daughter. I don't want to think about that because there's a second part to this question that says, side note. Since you mentioned in a recent episode, God of War III was originally supposed to end with Cretus being one of the wise men who visited Jesus Christ as a child.

I'm not making this up. You know what's crazy? I heard that before. Is that real? I have, you know what's, you know what, actually? I think David Jaffe The creator of the original god of war follows me because he works

He does stuff with Colin I'm gonna ask him I'm gonna ask him how to you that is That's so stupid That's so stupid That's so stupid That is so stupid That is funny as fuck

I love that Was that just a concept that was thrown around But not like actually considered That's what that sounds like to me Well I think You know what that sounds like to me That sounds like a joke But like not in like a

this isn't real way in a way that like I think back then specifically like pre 2007 games weren't really like I don't think they took themselves as serious as they take them now and so like I remember specifically like Halo 1 had that legendary ending

where like the planet explodes and Sergeant Johnson just hugs an elite and they're just like he's like hold me baby and it's like just all this fucking nonsense it's literally just a gag people ruining stars just don't Because it's fun.

It's just stupid. Yeah, yeah. There's a, even in Halo 3, there's like, there's a grunt that if you, if you stop just before you finish the game, like you can get out of the car and,

like, walk to the side. And there's a grunt. And he just hurls insults at you. He says like the jerk, he says literally the jerk store called and they're running out of you. That's what he says. That's his,

those are his dying words as the planet is explained. It's just fucking dumb. look some things and so I think this sounds like one of those things where it's like wouldn't it be fucking hilarious to just absolutely just but that one's so like I look at there's some I get it I do get it

I in the end of Gears 3 when Marcus finally takes off his bandana because like oh not signifying like oh the journey's over I would have loved to absolutely ruin that series by having him just fly away like he just takes off

and then like a sparkle he's gone and then that dude the restraint the restraint the restraint the restraint it would take me to not end

something like that is intense like I would like I would absolutely like I would I would love it if he took he took his band end off and he was bald in a really gross way he was bald but he had he has he has no skull

his fucking brain is or or his hair line is so, his hair line is so low that it merges in, like, just barely above his eyebrows. Oh my god. He's got the lowest fade ever. His line of is Chris, though. He takes it off he has waves.

Let's go home. He has waves. He turns into, like, you know, Transformers transform, but it's just meat and bones. So he just, just, yeah, or like, uh, or like, uh, or yeah, like, or like, or at the end of, uh, at the end of, uh, at the end of, uh, at the end of, uh, at the end of, uh, at the end of, Gears of War 3

Marcus takes off his bandana and Dom like kind of like walks by and he walks and he walks and like puts his hand over Marcus's his shoulder and he's like he's really there and they just don't explain it oh my god he's not dead he's not dead like he's totally fine they don't even talk about him

let's go home, Dom let's go and then fucking Kim shows up and the general ram shows up and they all hug each other and they look at all the general ram shows up and he hold all the carmines show up single, yeah, yeah, I, I don't know, man, I love, I love wacky shit like that, man. And then it goes up on, like, in Metal Gear Solid 3, in Metal Gear Solid 3, smiling, it's like a really dumb smile.

Yeah, dude, in Metal Gear Solid 3, when the fucking ape escape apes just show up, like, that's so, that's, it's, it's, it's completely ruins immersion. And I love it. It's pretty good. It just completely fucks it. Look, I love that it's just like, just so you know, this is a fucking video game. I, look, I, I actually, and it's, and it's, you're going to have a. ridiculous time. Coming to think about it in that context, if that was why they would have did,

I actually, I would have enjoyed that. My first thought was, oh, they were going to try to actually do some, oh, we're going to go to the fucking Judeo-Christian mythology now. And I'd be like, oh, fucking, okay. No, shut the fuck up. But yeah, to absolutely ruin. Actually, I do like that. If that would have happened, I probably would have liked that, actually. Yeah, I think, I think that's a great, that I think is a great way to reward people for finishing games on the hardest difficulty if there's if you beat the game with the hardest difficulty

you get an ending that completely fucking ruins that right there you have no idea how much of a motivating fact like if you ended Halo 3 or something on legendary and at the end you see a cutscene of like Master Chief taking off

his helmet and it's fucking Danny DeVito or something and it's it just it just completely it's just completely reconculting recontextualizes absolutely everything for no good reason. I would love that so deeply. That's real shit right there. That is kind of, the Colisto Protocol, do you know that game that came out in like December?

It wasn't very good. It was supposed to be like a spiritual successor to Dead Space. They did something similar to that in the, in the DLC that just came out because I think the studio even realized that like this franchise doesn't have legs. We're not going anywhere with this. And so they just ended this DLC. You have to see this ending. If you, even if you have no idea what the fuck the Coliso protocol is, if you look up the ending of that DLC or like the secret ending of the DLC, I don't know if it's a secret or if it's the official or whatever.

But it's just the main character with, I'm going to spoil it because I don't think anybody cares. Yeah. It's the main character strung up, no arms, no legs, just a torso in his head. And he's like, hey, is anybody going to cut me down? I need, this is me talking. not like he's talking it's the voice actor talking like it's like and it's not the character at all it just completely just shits on the game entirely

I love that that's pretty cool anyway I just wanted to bring that up again because I have to yeah I'll ask I want to ask David Jaffe if that's true do it but uh the idea we're gonna

we're gonna get the fuck out of here what the idea of him being a wise man is so stupid you still you're still I just don't it is stupid Kingston but how hilarious would it be after after fucking crawling off

after crawling off the mountain after destroying the world he like it just cuts to a manger three men and all of them look generic except for crato yeah like just towering over them and it's just crato's yeah and he gives him like the blades of chaos

or something dude and then Jesus becomes the protagonist of the next God of War trilogy. All right. See, now my dick's hard. That's so stupid.

Love it. So stupid. Anyway. Like, I don't know, man. I guess. It's not stupid. You're stupid.

It's like, it's like, I used to love endings like that, dude. Like, I used to love endings like that. But then like I got old and I was just like, that's so dumb. That is so dumb.

Like you got to like, the hardest part about a story is, is writing a good ending, I think. I really think that is the most. But I think you can have an ending and that you can have a good ending but also end it. Yeah. That's what I mean.

It's like, it's kind of like in. Like in D&D. You play D&D. At the end of one of the campaigns I played one of my friends, the end of the grung is like a frog person wish there would no more black people. He got the thing that gave him a wish. And he was like, I want there to be no more black people. We were like, yo, are you serious? And he was like, yes.

I want there to be no more none. They're gone. they're gone. So there's no more black elves. There's no more black humans. There's no more black dragons. There's no black things anymore. There's a,

the original Spider-Man, the original Spider-Man Neversoft game for PS1 and N64 had a great ending too. They were playing poker? It was it. Yeah, they were playing poker and like none of them knew how to, like, Rhino didn't, like the villains and heroes were playing poker respectively in their own places. And like, it's like Punisher, Captain America, Spider-Man and Daredevil.

and they're playing poker and Punisher's like, Daredevil keeps looking at my cards and there's just all this dumb jokes. But like I love that shit. Anyway, we gotta get out of here. I gotta go to a fucking wedding. And then I gotta go to an airport immediately after. Enjoying a healthy dinner that tastes great means eating out at a pricey restaurant,

right? Wrong. Healthy Choice Simply steamers are delicious. and healthy. The tray-and-tray steam technology delivers crisp veggies and tender protein and tasty selections, like Healthy Choice Simply Steamers grilled chicken and broccoli Alfredo. It's a satisfying meal with 28 grams of protein and nothing artificial. Healthy Choice Simply Steamers. What having it all tastes like. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan.

I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365.

Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for thepeople.com for an office near you. I'm going to record the credit separately,

so it's going to be a bit of a cut. But thanks for stopping by. Thanks for all your support over on Patreon.com slash your snarkank. Remember to check us out over there. leave us questions, leave us nice reviews on podcast services, iTunes and all that shit. Like the video, share it around. Do what the fuck. Do what you got to. But we're fucking outy. Zeus, den, niggas.

Jesus. Jehovah. Yes, nigger. Yes, my niggas. No, no. All right. Hello. Hello.

everybody I'm reading the names now sorry it took so long I go by he him or Nick Carr nice smitchie the kid Caucasian container the cracker barrel for gays Miguel O'Hara shooting Uncle Ben tinfoil tyrant 13,000 feet under the sea and you hear the opening notes of under pressure putting back oh my god putting blackface on my light bulbs Chris's singular sperm that gaves his urethra every time he comes I'm not so hard I put holes in my drywall. I've heard enough. Guards. Take this man to the penis explosion chamber and have his penis exploded immediately. The Zelda Legends, uh, the, the Zelda of Legends Kings of the Teardom is year of the game, no cap. Doc Jenkins and the Tizum schism. The church of baptizing

your baby in Belle Delphine's bathwater. She pipkin on my pip opossum. Yes, that's right. My real name. Yes, that's my real name. Yo soy Christobal Rayo Pistola. Ellis he is Thomas Sweeney and he is Derek A manne negro Bienvenido to snark tankie Man, some of these are

Some of these are rough Domination, average clit energy Jared from Subway has a cameo in Shark Nato 2 Star Coffee, Epstein wasn't killed, he was raptured into heaven, damn I nutted in a man from Kanye West hit song, Very Gay Am I? The following names will be red solemnly to remember the victims of Lee Harvey Lion.

Transfem. Gremlin. Can Logan Paul? Abandon a million pigs. My sexual awakening was the quirky goth girl from NCS, and now my taste in women is ruined. Ush. Vindpen. The Angelic Dungeon Master would like to congratulate you for saving the microwave baby

by shoving the horse off the bridge. Dropping to $5.00 because I need to skim money for rent. Been a pleasure making you boys laugh each week, though? No problem, bro. Thanks a lot for your support and your continued support as well. Craig the Canadian, Richard Fisting, it's your boy, Shawnee D, the studio that made Lord of the Rings Gollum shut down, rip. Matt Walsh is a hero of our time, sweet baby game for life, indie butter knife on YouTube. Gay Weezer be like, what's with these homos fucking my boy?

Why do they got to suck? I just need a girl to Hindenburg, my balls. Please God, I beg you, 3XO and the uncanny accuracy of Pris's Vigida impression. Slurping, stroking, smoke, and joking, emoticons going like this. Morning Owlet, she, knee, tie. I'm gay for you and you're gay for me, Spider-Man. Why are you gay for that guy?

Nancy Pelosi, killing a Palestinian with a massive tits. I hope you want to blow me, Kremlin to Gremlin. Guy, Abby, something funny and topical. Gang my way downtown. Wage Slate 583. I feel gay. Fuck you. The Propini Brothers in Portium of Submarines made by

Ed and Nettie that plays sonic drowning music. Spaceball's the patron. The surprising George Floyd cameo and Little Mermaid where he sings the new song under the knee. Oh my God. Tell him Steve Dave. Ah, limp biscuit and gravy. John Strickland, the white dude stalker who says the N-word,

comma, son of entrenched CEO of Ocean Gate. Merck's 1889. I'm so glad these train wrecks are polluting the water supply. First Church of Keith David featuring solid. Sweeney and his gay genocide. The first Sam Ramey Spider-Man movie came out a month before I was born. I'm 21 now.

That's insane. I was like seven or fucking eight when that movie came out. Pre-Raz. Blake 896. Begita getting streamed sniped in PubGee and calling the child. Calling a child. Cammy's ass jiggle when she kicks. 9-11 theme baby shower.

It's twins. Alaskan oil field trash. Sue Hulk. Tickle my ass hairs. Nicky Ziggy. Hey, Dom. Do you know that those fish are eating five guys? That's pretty fucked up, Marcus.

What the fuck is going on? Well, bottomize Jesus, I can't wait to lick on Hulk Hogan's sloppy, wet, fat, fucking pussy like a dog in a water bowl. The sound of mommy and daddy fighting downstairs, but it's drowned out by Derek and Sween's slang argument. Every time I come, it sounds like Squidward Walking. Jackson DuPont, badly brave, hugger Derek, normal McPherson, your new roadmaid, atherian, Prergerian hunter, Melphus One heir to the throne of haphazard and king of haphazard. Thank you all for your support. Bye.

Click and collect. Order confirmed. Tomorrow can we start a band. Can we become robots? Affirmative. Can we go crab battling? That isn't a thing. How about swimming? Dad, can we take a nap?

You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal. Deal. While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials. Book your free click and collect slot at tesco.e or in-app. Tesco, every little helps. Terms and conditions apply. Here's the truth. You could literally be adored by every...

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