The Snark Tank - #165: xQc Reacts to Racist Walter Jr

Episode Date: August 7, 2023

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Click and collect. Order confirmed. Dad, tomorrow can we start a band. Can we become robots? Affirmative. Can we go crab battling? That isn't a thing. How about swimming? Dad, can we take a nap?

You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal. Deal. While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials. Book your free click and collect slot at tesco.e or in-app. Tesco, every little helps. Terms and conditions apply. Hey, look, you say, little dead mean That water was spicy

Are you still drinking that fucking spicy mango lemonade or whatever the fucking is? No, no, I'm not drinking that shit. I really want to finish it because I spent money on it But like, that shit is fucking spicy. Spicy drinks piss me off so much. I won a radio station contest Of course you did.

Like, I was like, oh, hey, you get a free drink You'll be qualified to get a VIP table. I didn't get the VIP. But the guy. the radio station guy, Huff, he's like, I got a new beer, come down to this brewery, and I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm going to try this dude's new beer. It's fucking mango halapeno. It was so fucking disgusting. It pissed me off. Where I'm like, mango in a beer is good because there's like mango cart. There's a lot of wheat, ales and stuff that have like citrus. This piece of shit's like, you know what? I think we need to put some alapeno and some fucking beer. Was that nigga Mexican? No, he was the whitest piece of, a Mexican would never do that. Like dude mexicans love spicy sweet shit no but see what they like to do is put in like some tahin They like to put it like that the clamato or something that's just that shit is disgusting i don't like it either but it ain't fucking just straight up putting a goddamn chili pepper just dunkin in there and you like enjoy it this mango nectar with a fucking chili in it that is crazy it's disgusting bro like there was nothing refreshing about that i'm i was so mad that i'm like i can't believe i drove down here i mean i got some free

shit, but still, God damn. It's why I'm, it's why I'm so innately offended at the notion that Caribbean and Mexicans are even close to the same thing, because that to me, it's like, that, that is, the whole spicy sweet shit is so fucking degenerate. I hate it. Dude, we are. We are. We're similar. We're not the same. There's similarities, you know. If I were to build a wall, that would be the reason. It would be to keep that spicy, sweet shit the fuck away from me. Let's go. And out of this great country of ours, you know.

And out of this great country of ours, we feel this country. I'm incarcerated. I am in prison. So, yeah, I guess, I don't know, man, Trump got indicted. I don't know what the fuck that even means anymore. It's, it's, yeah, because it's, I feel like he's been indicted like 40 times. like and it doesn't seem to matter so like what the fuck do I care the funny thing is you're like not even exaggerating you do no I'm I close to 40 or something it's like a lot it's it's more

than you would assume outside of like a parody reality you know like it's it's surprising and you know it's been great that happened it's been great seeing his defenders like the the the um the what do you call it the punnets trying to somehow defend him. That's actually been very entertaining. I've seen a little clips here and there. They're like, uh, well, uh, it's because like, what do you do? When somebody's got that many charges, you're like, hmm, how fucking is it must be so, it must

be so weird being like an adult human being and have to, like having to run defense for some random guy who's like very powerful who clearly doesn't care about you. Yeah. Doesn't give an int of a fuck about you, dog. Like, like, why would, if you are simping for, like, somebody who's going into, like, I don't understand. Like, I would never in a million years. I'm, because some people, like, I would tweet about Trump sometimes that I would, like, make fun of him. Yeah.

And then they would be like, you wouldn't say this about Biden. It's like, are you kidding? Biden is, like, barely sentient. He's like a walking skeleton. What are you talking about? Like, why would anyone- I'll grow with his skin on, bro. Joe Biden's, like, Windows XP in, like, a person.

Like, today. If you kept using Windows XP. I'm just saying that niggas, Vista, man. He's Vista. Vista is, Vista is even worse somehow. So that is, that is true. But, no, it must be so weird to, like, feel this weird, like, almost like this, this burning desire in your heart to, like, run defense for these people. And it must be so awkward when they get fucking arrested.

I don't know. It's just, all I've seen is, and you know what it is, it's, it's the, all the, the, the, the deep state are coming after him. It's the, it's the deep state. And I'm like, bro, it's the shallowest state. What's the shallowest state. Literally, like, you know what happened? If Trump literally got on his fucking hands and knees, like a feral wolverine and started just tearing somebody to pieces. and then, you know, like, just completely everyone's like, holy shit, they would still somehow be like,

they gave him a Wolverine serum. He didn't act. They would somehow try to justify it. That's how weird it's just gotten. I'm like, bro, this thing is going to prison. If he got on his hands and knees and turned into a feral beast, he'd be like, yeah, this is what we need. We need more this. Yeah, yeah, you just started tearing apart like Colin a little hair.

is fucking, uh, straight up attack them. You know what's crazy though? Like a dog. I understand on us on something like from his, like if I were him, I would be having so much fun with that. So like I, I do like if I were on, if I had, if I was President Trump and I understood that I had like this crazy audience that was like with me until, until death.

And I knew for some reason that I was going to die in like a week. I would go. I would do a press conference. and like pull out a gun and start moving my hand as if it's independent they're telekinesising me I'm not doing this it's not me

and then I would die and then I would shoot myself with the head and die and then just to know that the world that I leave behind would be so fucked up finally

there would be so many people the civil war that they finally want would show up they did they got telekinesia they got telekinesia They got psychomantic shit We gotta fight

Dude for real I would help somebody plug it into the second controller port Help me Help me Somebody Read the back of the case Dude it's it's so nuts Like how simple it would be to really get something like that done

I love it So because people are willing to just, you know, because first of all, why would a person do that? You know, like, it's already, like, believable that something's wrong. So, like, I just love the idea of somebody just misleading an entire nation in death purely for the, just purely for the entertainment value of it. I would have no quarrels. No. I mean, I would have no quarrels at that point. Like, right now, I'm still a little annoyed, but if he just turned it up, because it is kind of fun.

I do, I watch a little bit. and he does he just I don't know how you could just say things like I did everything right and they indicted me and they and I'm like it's such a good delivery dude and I'm like he why does I don't I don't

I wish I wish I wish he would just be a funny part I wish he would just do that because that delivery was so damn funny I don't think fantastic like I like I understand what you're saying but in my mind I'm like I did everything wrong and the

He indicted me. They indicted me. He reminds me of, like, a Disney villain that's supposed to be cooky, but it's just fucking dumb. And it's like, I can't get a laugh at him. Like, oh, those guys, because I, I feel like all he does is just make idiots feel bold. More bold, idiot. He does that.

He does that, too. He's not funny. It's dangerous. He does that, too. Sure, sure. But, but, but, okay, 20. Did you, did you hear him, did you hear him slip up and say, oh, Obamna and he says it in the

Obama Like how could you not It's also it's also when he's like What he's talking about Do you remember what he's talking about Puerto Rico? And he's like yeah Puerto Rico

Poetto Rico Poetto Like what the fuck even is that? It's crazy because I don't Like what's nuts about it is that like he's I don't think he's trying to be funny That's why it is funny I think it's just it's it would be different

if it's like, it's almost like Tommy Wissot with the room, if you've ever seen the room where it's like, this is a dude trying to make a genuine movie. Yeah. About something that he is experiencing or like some deep thing he wrote it, he produced it, he did everything for it. It's a personal story to him. And it's a

laughing stock. But then when he became self-aware and he started making like shitty movies on purpose, nobody cares about this. Yeah, like that's, that's, nobody gives a shit. Go away. Shoo! That's what, that's what he is. He's like Leave Malbozer. yeah and there are some people

and there are some people who still like watch time in why so movies and they have a good time with it like fair enough whatever but like that's this with Trump now where it's like he's not trying to be like he's trying to be genuinely like a voice of people you know he's trying to be a voice for like a generator

or like an undercut and it's so funny that he thinks like he's doing such a bad job too but since the people that fall him Obama no I love it so much. I think he's fucking, I don't know, man. I guess I'm just different. I guess I'm just dumb.

No, look, you're not, look, it. I just think it's funny. You haven't, you have not ascended to the level of, you know, the comedian from Watchman. I always, yeah, the comedian from Watchman is perfect because at a certain point. Don't, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Derek, Derek, a moment, a moment, a moment. What? Please clarify what aspect of the comedian is perfect. Can I say something?

I've never seen it. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I want to say something. I want to say something before Derek Kna. I've never seen Watchman, but from what I've heard, the comedian seems like a great person.

And I would love to, like, if I could emulate even a fraction of what he's capable of, I would feel very proud of myself. I feel like I've ever seen the facts. Facts, big facts. Comed is the only character in that series that I think is like almost irreparably bad. So the comedian. No, never mind. I'm not. The comedian is, so what I was going to say is the comedian is a perfect representation of how people feel when you're so everything, when you figure everything out, you become so jade.

Everything is just a fucking joke to you now because you see where things are headed. And basically in Watchman in the graphic novel, oh, in the movie too, whatever, he figures out before anyone else what the hell, what the, you know, the, and I don't want to spoil it. If you haven't read or seen it. I'm just saying it's so good that I wouldn't want to spoil it. He figures out the two main things. The master plot of the attacks, blah, blah, blah, blah. But at a certain point, when you become so, like, self-aware of what's going on, you're like, this is everything around me that's going on is kind of fake and this is a fucking joke.

It is manufactured. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I feel like when you kind of pay attention to what the hell is going on with, seeing Trump fail, like, upwards, seeing Trump fail. seeing him fucking screw up so badly a store

secret files in a fucking bathroom super ultra classified files just in a have you ever seen anything like that before like have you ever seen something that is so insanely

top secret that is just in a bathroom where was he board dude that was the inception of Trump if you want to know so look at in wrestling lore in the WWF there was always Vince McMahon

right, the guy who was the owner, but then there was the birth of Mr. McMahon, which was after he screwed over this guy named, oh, my God. His villainar, I remember that. Wait, what's his, oh, my God, the Canadian guy, Brett Hart, sorry. He just, he screwed over Brett Hart. Long story, short, he screwed him over. It's a thing called the Montreal Screw Job.

He was supposed to win. They screwed him over. In Montreal, it was fucked up. Okay. So the whole point is, once he screwed him over, on the fly, he then made a, he personified a villain called Mr. McMahon. And that's essentially when Trump started doing this fucking Fox News show and started talking about Obama's birth certificate, that's when the Trump, because that Trump didn't exist

before then. And the, the weird thing that you hear now is like, was that's the inception. Yeah, yeah, 100%. 2012 was like the pilot or like 2011 was like the pilot. Where's the birth certificate? kid, he's born in Muslimville. He's born in Muslim hell. You know what's wild, wild, wild.

That is exactly the character of Donald Trump, like he was always a character. He's always been a character, a socialite piece of, piece of shit, that guy, but the character that he is now, that main,

that fucking, the one that motherfucking people will go and they'll, they'll fight for and ride for, is, was born at that period of time. That's when he was, that's when this version,

and became created. How can we do that? How can we get that? I want it. I think Chris tweeted it. It was like some person that was like, imagine making it your whole life and your whole personality, you know, wearing the flags and doctorating the kids and all that stuff. And the sheer obliviousness of these people that this guy is patronizing you to your face.

That's awesome. They're like, imagine why having these kids wear these flags and put on these clothes that exemplify these ideals. Oh, are you talking? So disgusting. And there's these little MAGA dripped out kids right next to them holding these Make American Grey Flag. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'm just like, what is what? That was, that was the thing on, no one's this dumb. That was the thing on TikTok that I shared. It was like, it was like an interview show where this dude just kind of ran around to Maga Rally and he's talking about how like, he's basically pretending like he's on their side or whatever. And he's talking about like the gay, the trans flag or like all that stuff. Yeah, LGBTQ stuff in schools or whatever.

And they're like, isn't it crazy how they have, uh, kids with signs and and and and and all this like weird political shit it's like let just like kids be kids and they're like yeah man and then like they're standing right next to their kids and their kids are dripped out and all this political shit that they clearly yeah that's awesome it was like it's a very it's a very awesome video but i don't know man we we do got to get it we do have to figure out a way yes to patronize people in a way i can't do it anyway i can't do it right now because i've been i was i got banned from twitter today Or not banned. I got locked. I got my account locked. So I can't start immediately. What do you do? I didn't do anything crazy. Well, I, so I, I tweeted at a, at some guy. So we're, we'll probably move into this topic immediately because I do think it's like one of the bigger things that are happening. It's, it's, it's the whole XQC, the whole XQC fucking, you know, streamer, like React content shit that's going on.

Oh, I forgot about that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So that's, that's resurfacing. Yeah, it's resurfacing. So like somebody, I was. was basically, I tweeted yesterday something along the lines of like, hey, you know, it's wild that a lot of streamers think that they're entitled to just steal other people's, you know, content and not transform it in any way. It's, you know, we used to make fun of this. And for some reason, it's just become the meta now. It's weird. And some guy was like in my comments, like, IP doesn't exist. IP's not real. And anybody, it was like some libertarian dude. It's like, IP's not real. Of course. And you can, you know, anybody, anybody can go. an ass, Nick and go to the dumb shit. It's like, anybody can take,

anybody can take whatever the fuck they want. And I replied to him, I said, I believe you should kill yourself with a gun. And that was, that was all I said. But, because I really,

the, the I believe part makes it so genuine. It makes it almost like a Christmas story. Yeah. It's like, where it's like, I believe you should die. Don't fret on me!

I do, I am just kind of at a point where I just no longer really care that much. You know? I believed it, you know? It's like, you're a stupid person. And, you know, I'm just, I'm just, I'm simply sharing my beliefs, you know? It's, it's getting, it's getting really hard. Taxation is staff. Because, because, because you should be able to have sex with the fetish.

Intellectual property don't exist. Yeah, boy. I think, I think, I, well, here's the, it's, but. The thing about it is, listen, I don't think I did anything wrong because I was sharing an opinion. I wasn't telling this guy to kill himself with a gun. I was simply saying that I believe he should, which I think is totally fair. It's free speech. This is exactly like if we're supposed to live in a society where people are free to share their beliefs, I don't understand why I'm being persecuted for this.

You are making fun of death and or suicide, which is funny sometimes. I'm not making fun. Not always. Not making fun. This is a sincere belief that I hold. Okay? I believe that that person... Okay?

It's not a command. It's just... It's just a... Command word, kill yourself. That's a D&D spell. Command word. Kill yourself. You use command.

You tell a person to jump off bridge. Come on. Can I just say that it is weird that that whole... like I feel like it really wasn't even that long ago that like React content was like really just bottom of the barrel like objectively kind of like the shittish stuff that you could do what's crazy is that all of a sudden in like 2018 or 19 a bunch of black people started doing React videos like every black person with like their cousin or something like that was like

let's do React videos and then have funny vernacular because you remember that what do you remember that specifically do you remember that specifically with like those videos videos that were like listening to Bohemian Rhapsody for the first time. It's like, dude, what are you talking about? There's no fucking way. That might be, that might not be. So here's the thing. That might not be the first time they listen.

They've heard it, but for the time they listen to it. Here's the thing with niggins that I admire. Here's a thing that I admire with niggas right here. So they figured out because niggas are always about getting that quick button, buck and hustling. I love it. And so. You got a, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not saying anything.

I'm not saying nothing. First and foremost, I'm gonna, this moment, I'm in this moment to separate myself. I am technically, I am technically.

Yeah, you please go, you go sit in the corner with your white buddies. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go speak on behalf of niggas that actually will attest to this

and tell you how to make fucking quick money and how to hustle. First and foremost, I'm stealing money. Do you remember that? Do you remember that TikTok guy who's like,

how to fuck your bitch? How to steal a dumb bitch? How to steal a dumb bitch? How to make a fat bitch lose weight? lose weight, how to make your bitch, how to get your bitch pregnant in three strokes. Like that guy first one, he had an index of real, real advice. It was just labeled it. It was just layered in ignorance.

How to charm, man. So you had some, so you had some brothers on YouTube that figured out that white people love watching the reactions of black people. That's why like the whole, there was that whole talk about digital blackface and shit like that, blah, blah, blah. It's the same concept where they figure this out. They're like, all I have to do is just do what I do. Like, I'm not doing anything different.

I'm just watching some dumb shit and reacting. And I'm making a shitload of money. And so they figured it out. And then so for a while, it was cool. Then, you know, people started to step in and say, hey, this is bullshit. You're just doing content, yada, yada. And then it went away for a while. And then it came back.

But it came back differently in a quote unquote clever way, like the way you said, listen to Bohemian Rapsey the first time, which is, I always say, like, so the mega dev drummer, I just saw this the other day. The mega draft drummer said, um, hearing, um, Mr. Brightside for the first time. And so I just, there's a part of me that, and then in the video, it's authentically, he's like, he said like I've never. And then in the studio, the guys are behind the booth and they're like, no way. Like he's even, like, I feel like he's acting. He's like, no, there's no way he's not heard this before.

There's no way. And I'm just like, I believe you, there is no way you've never heard Mr. fucking bright side before being like that entrenched in the music you've never came across the fucking killers and literally inconsiderate that was i was having a conversation i was having a conversation wait wait on before i forget i was having a conversation the other day with somebody was and i was i brought up vanessa carlton and she was like who and i was like what the fuck are you talking about bennissa carlton you know like and i was like you know da-na-na-na-na-na-no-no you know i did the fight a thousand miles and he's like what is that and i was like you've absolutely heard a that what a thousand

thousand miles she was like no i've never heard it was like you are you're lying i know i don't know you're talking about i don't know you're talking about but i was gonna but what happens for me is this right i couldn't make that context i'd be like listening to this for the first time right even if i didn't know about it i'd listen to part of i like not heard this before sorry guys end the video now just end the video right there can i say something is that would be able to lie about that for me very funny i really i i think that would be a great channel of just listening You know, oh, listening Some of them go through, some of them

I listen to the whole thing without knowing There's some songs where I know it And I'm like, oh, I can't do this. No, I think the whole channel should be You listen to the song for 10 seconds You're like, ah, fuck, no, man, I heard this already. Sorry, guys, see you next time. It's like 40,000 videos of that.

It's like Buff Correll. You make like 2 million of these. That would be so good. The numbers are high. That'd be so good. Yeah, so I can't like, how do you, like, how do you, like, this is a thing, right? Yeah. You may have never listened to, like, I haven't listened to, I've never really listened to, um, what did you say?

You've never, may have heard something in the background. I've never really listened to Prince. I have definitely heard a lot of Prince's music before. I've never really listened to, no, you've never sat down and listened to it and listened to Prince, right? That's the man to heard a fuck ton of his music. That's what, the, the label usually you hear first time hearing, first time, listening. I feel like most, I still, I still think that most of those videos are fake. I see, um, like some of the most popular songs that are just, that have been drilled everywhere and

people are saying first time hearing this. I don't believe them. It's like, suck my dick. Yeah, I don't believe, I don't believe that at all when people like, I saw a really famous drummer saying like the first time listening to a Michael Jackson song and I'm like, I don't, I don't believe that stuff at all. I know, I know what they're doing. First time. It's like, it's like, it's like, Chris, last week, it's like, I've never watched an episode of fucking Law and or you were like, bro, That's impossible. That's impossible. You have to have seen it.

Hold on, hold on. You could have not watched it, but you have definitely seen Law & Order beyond. But very quickly, he realized, exactly. That's all of me.

But that was the, that is to this day, the only episode of Law & Order I've ever seen. Yes, Chris. That's fair. You've definitely, Chris,

I want to, I want to tell you something very true. You might disagree with me. In your life, in passing, in walking into rooms, in waiting for shit to end, if something else to come on,

you've probably watched like maybe 10 hours of Law & Order. I don't think so. Ten hours? It's a lot. Can I say? Because that shows on every channel. No,

no. Place for hours. It's so much law and order. Let me explain why that's not true. My family, for whatever reason, my dad loves like NCIS and all that shit. But like for whatever reason,

straight up, Law & Order was never on that list. Like I have never, I was introduced to like the low and order meme, like the theme song, like bum bum, you know like the fucking court thing on like internet shit and I had no idea what what the fuck it was just not a present thing I've I guarantee you I've seen more of

like days of our lives or like those like fucking soap operas you know those what is it oh my god Kingsen you might know some of the Spanish ones that I can't oh my god I'm freaking um let me let me just let me see what I don't I mean you know what I'm saying right yes of course yeah I've see I I'm sure I've seen 10 of dozens of hours of those shows, even though I've never sat down and watched them. Right. Loan Order is like a weird blind spot for me.

I don't know. I was never into it, and my parents weren't into it either. I saw a lot of Judge Judy, though. I think it's totally possible. Yeah, that's the daytime television. I think a lot of people have seen that just by proxy. I think it's totally reasonable that some people may have not seen some of even popular shows.

Music is a little more complicated, and you see the people that are doing. Right. I hate looking at the. Spanish soap operas and not understanding almost any, knowing more of the words now, because I speak Spanish way better now than I did when I was younger, but like, freaking no,

I'm, I'm, I'm sorry, Lafaya, Ugly Betty, the fucking original one, which was just sort of racist because of course, everyone in that cast was fair skin,

and then Betty was the only dark skin, curly-haired, Latino person there, and it was like, hmm. Okay, sorry, sorry,

sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, I'm gonna lose my Spanish Leave ugly buddy alone I'm sorry The uh

But yeah Fucking I don't know man But like dude It shifted so quickly I feel like Because I feel like overnight It became like oh this is just what streamers are doing now They're just reacting to things And that's just expected

And I I don't know what the fuck happened really Because that that exquisite shit is egregious Because it's one thing and maybe this is just my opinion I don't mean to presume this on everybody else but it's not

necessarily a problem to sit and react to something on stream right like whatever that's like a live audience it's like it's its own I feel like it's its own unique experience you get to interact with it it's they have a chance to make an impact on the content like whatever right but if you're going to upload that to YouTube

at the very least that should be that should be like edited or like you know, maybe highlighted. It should be clipped. You should not upload. You should not upload reaction content. Do you know what I mean?

Like, like, like uploading a one hour and 30 minute video in its entirety with 20 minutes of your reaction with no edits whatsoever. That's fucking egregious. Like, I am totally fine. If like somebody wants to like react to like a video that I did that's like

maybe like 20 minutes and they make like a, I don't know, they clip their reaction stream down to like the highlights or whatever. That's fine. Yeah. But like when it's just straight up like, I think there was like 15 minutes of that exquisite stream where he just played the video and walked away. Yeah. Like straight up and just let the video play. And it's like, dude, come on.

I've seen that. I've seen that a lot. Like, let's say, let's say if there's, um, there's a conversation and a content. Like if there's, if there's like a, I would hate to say debate because debates, the word debate doesn't mean shit to me anymore. As now it's just yelling at each other and not telling the truth. but when it's like a conversation like if you're doing a piece on um on like uh let's say disagreeing of the point of somebody else right and there's a conversation right if you upload the entire video of you constantly having content well just look it's transforming it literally because your input is transforming the content where it would still be the whole video so let's say

chris you did one of your um videos right you were talking about i don't know that was fucking that of the black bitch that you may go missing if if she made a video right and she was constantly talking to you Or like disproving your point or arguing against your points? When you upload that, I think that's fine. There's always going to be caveats to rules, right? Like, if you are directly related to the content, I think you have full right to respond in however way you choose.

Like, I would never, if I'm making like a video about like Cat Black or something and Cat Black reacts to it and uploads that to her channel, I would never be like, that's ridiculous. Like, that makes perfect sense. It's to do with her. Of course she would, of course she would have something to say. But, like, taking, like, a documentary that some YouTuber made, like, of their own free will. And it's, like, this, like, really highly edited, really, like, masterly crafted hour and a half piece of, you know, video content.

And then just playing that on stream and then walking away for 15 minutes of it is fucking ludicrous. Like, that's insane. Yeah. Of course. I think, well, man, I think there's, like, a delicate way to handle this as far as, because really that, all the only big problem. is the big, the biggest, yeah, definitely. No, like the biggest, the biggest streamers that, you know how, like, creators lose, um, they lose views and stuff because yeah, the biggest streamers will take their content

and everybody's just going to watch their reaction over it. I think that's the biggest thing. I always feel like if people would just delay, would delay the streams to let the, uh, the, the original content creator get like as many views as they were going to get. Like, for example, so, um, this band, like, I'll still do reactions to music, but number one, my shit's small as fuck, so it's not going to have any dent.

My stuff is completely transformative, too, because I'm not just sitting there and not saying anything. Maybe mine are too long, too. I look at them, I was like, shit, my shit's fucking almost 16 minutes, and I'll look at somebody else's in a few minutes reaction. But anyway, I'll see, like, say, this band Slaughter Trip Avail, they just put out something new, and it hasn't hit, like, a million yet.

It was, like, at 700,000, and I saw this one big streamer. He reacted to it and it had like 300,000 views. And my problem is that guy is so big that a lot of people who normally would have watched the fucking the original music video just opted and watched a dude react to it. So they lost probably at least 100,000 views

where they could have been closer to a million. So I feel like that kind of sucks in that. So I feel like maybe there can be more of a courtesy of just letting that shit kind of just, kind of just just a little bit but you know I understand why they're trying oh strike while the iron's hot I get it I get the whole point of doing it as fast as possible

but it's just like courtesy shit you know like trying to help out the person because obviously what would you be watching if it wasn't for the people making good content so you kind of should respect them first or or just dude like at the very least like if you're going to react to something

fucking be there for it like yeah it's really the it's really the playing shit while you're gone that's crazy to me. That's the wildest thing. There's no excuse me. It's just stealing. It's just straight up.

There's nothing else. Because it's like, I remember Hassan was like, well, what am I supposed to do? Die? It's like, no, fucking idiot. You just fucking leap. You walk away and pause. You can pause you piece of shit. Oh, but then my streams are going to be entertaining when I'm not there.

It's like fucking so? What the fuck are you talking about? Like, I've, I have stepped away from my stream a number of times. People are just talking in the chat, okay? Right. I don't have to, like, play other people's content to supplant them or, like, like, entertain them while I'm gone. Because, quite frankly, that's not my work to entertain them with. It sounds like, it's crazy to me that there's no, this is just the last part of it, but, like, it's crazy to me that there's no basic ethical consideration for what is and is not yours in the,

streaming space. It's fucking weird. And it's why... Streamers are bad people, bro. Don't you notice that? They're fucking lazy. That's the biggest thing. They're fucking... Do you remember when there was the whole YouTuber versus Twitter thing? Which one was more difficult?

Oh, sorry, yeah, Twitch versus YouTube. Which one was more difficult? I couldn't believe that that was even a thing that happens. It's crazy. So it's saying... That you would even entertain that shit. Oh, I wonder. I wonder. You know what's crazy? For a long time, I thought that streaming would be...

Avenue that would eventually usurp a lot of the the the just the just the moat media on the motion not the motion yeah traffic on YouTube and then obviously because of the way that i amazon facilitated twitch it didn't and twitch is like on fire pretty much now it's barely fucking doing anything anymore because i you assume streaming is more interactive more intimate obviously if it's done correctly if you're not just getting up and leaving you know letting people just exist on content which i i've definitely like, hey guys, I'm going to go pee, and I've played a video before, but the video I played what these people how to play a game. So it was just like, hey, here's how you play this game. I'm going to go piss. I'll be right back while this game is the thing's playing. Hopefully you

guys have the idea. Well, you know what I do. What I do is still, which is still the same thing. Well, what I do is whenever I leave a stream and I, and I'm going to be gone for a while, I'll play one of my videos. Because that's mine. And you know what? I bet a lot of these fucking streamers have a lot of stuff in their back catalog that they can easily, if they're going to be gone for a while, they can easily go back into their fucking archives and play

something that they've done in the past. You know what I've seen? You know what I've seen a lot of people do and what people used to do back in the day from what I remember, people would just have a be right back and then they would just play a little bit of music. It would just be like

to, oh, I do that too, yeah. Yeah, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that because especially if somebody, and a lot of people who are professional are very good at this, I'll be back in five minutes. I'll be back in, you know, they have like a time. Yeah. So then all you can do is really just be like, oh, I'll fuck off for five minutes. I'm going to go do something else for five minutes, or I'll just leave it there for five minutes,

whatever it is. No, but Derek, if you fuck off for five minutes and you get, you click off the stream and then you'll never come back. Because I'm not, I'm not confident in my own ability to entertain. So, like, I need you here constantly. I need you here forever. I'm going to steal this documentary. It's like the worst fucking anxiety, dude. It is the nature of the, what you call, the, of the new viewer.

They'll be there for a moment, but, oh, this is entertaining. I'm gone by. And they're just instantly. Whatever. The insane with it, they're catering to the insane viewer that's like, that's pro, like, they're like the vine people that they need entertainment immediately and constantly back to back. And then if it stops,

they're like they freak out Vine was fucking lit bro Vine was the best Vine sucked dick until I found a couple of creators I like like Will Saso and uh Vine was dope man That guy that would scream at everybody

I always forget his name Will Saso has my favorite vine I think ever And it's the one of him With the blood Yeah the color blind What is it? The guy was like I forget what the setup to the

To the joke was But I think it was like It's in blood The color blind guy finds out he has like you know, test, like, or urethral cancer or something, and he just, he's peeing blood into a toilet really, like, with like such insaney eyes. Like the PSI is so ridiculous.

And he's, and the narration is like, hmm, that's strange. My pee is a darker shade of gray than the lighter shade of gray it normally is. And that, that fucking killed me when I saw it. There is, there is a bunch of funny Vinders. The problem with Vinders, like, everything else is the people that got popular on,

It's a king badge with him and him and his group of Coonerty. They just sent black people back like a dozen years. Bro, it's so funny. It's so funny how he just made content that was like, ha ha, black people do this, black who do that. And then white people decided to be like, ah, you're black, right? So you like this? And it's just like, do you not understand?

Did you, what? He was like, how did you not know this? How did you not know that was going to happen, Batch? King Batch was like millennial Tyler Perry in a lot of. ways where it's like he really like didn't have to do all all the things that he did but he did it anyway the sheer amount of coonery he had he created was crazy it was funny afterwards he did the he did the all lives matter because him and his fucking group are stupid so they did the all lives matter thing when it first happened when when when when someone got killed in 2016ers i like that

and then he did the black lives matter thing afterwards he He was like all the black people's names he wrote on their body, his body. Because he obviously after the time, you probably understand that like all lives matter. He did all lives matter thing? He did because obviously like most people didn't think it. I get it. He didn't think it made mainstream. Well, I did.

He didn't think it meant ignorance. That's why every life matters, but ours lives matter too, you know. Well, on the face of it. Yeah, I remember on the face of it hearing that like and being like that doesn't sound really controversial at all. It doesn't. Yeah. And it's not really. It's a matter of like, oh, you know.

know, it's like, oh, the orphanage is on fire. We should save the orphans. And it's like, well, everybody else matters. We just save every child. Yeah, why don't we save every child? And it's like, yeah, I understand. But like, right now the orphanage is on fire. Like, let's deal with this problem first.

It's even, it's a problem is, like, good. Yeah. Well, the problem is that a lot of the people, like, really kind of the, a lot of the people engaging in that conversation weren't willing to really, like, communicate in a way that would make that make sense. It was really just like, you're saying all lives matter, therefore, like, you're kind of, you're immediately like a racist and you're not like just ignorant or like maybe just like misunderstanding.

I mean, you know what I mean? And so it's just like a lot of people jumping down each other's throats instead of being like, hey, no, that's true. But also like this is the reason why this statement makes sense. Like I think if anybody came to the under, if anybody heard that explanation, I feel like it would make sense to most logical people where it's like, yeah. It would.

It's not. That's just not the problem right now. They're not. They're not, no one's saying that entirely to be a person that disregards. But King Batch is fucking retarded. Most humans are not saying. Of course, holy hell. Yeah.

And then what happened was he did, he brought all the bodies of the Bifahood who died to a good of priest's reality. Do you remember? It's like, shut up, coon ass. Do you remember? Go hang out with some white bitch again. I was reading those comments and laugh in my ass. Because it was so mean.

He was doing a reason to do the right thing. Everybody was just tearing him out. But it was already, it was already too late, man. It was already too late. He was crazy. He was crazy about King Batches that he's, he's, he's, is he dead? I hope so. No, he's just off doing Coonery somewhere else.

Oh my God. Him and his charkoonery. Last time I saw him, I think he was, I think he appeared on like MTV. He was in a Drake video. He was like, ridiculous and, uh, what was that other wilda now? Like, I think he was having sex with the, the Canon or something. He was fucking Nick Cannon raw, Ronald, out. Yeah.

I was just like, you know, I love his love, but I was like, I don't want to watch. Did you guys see that Nick Cannon show where it's like, who wants to be, who wants me to get them pregnant or something?

And it's like a real show. I'm not even fucking kidding. He's got a show. He's got a show where it's like, he's got a show called like, who wants to be my baby, or baby, or something like that.

I don't remember what the fuck it was. Oh, like a reality show, like the flavor of love or something. Yeah, exactly. Except the, except, except,

the prizes you get to be impregnated by Dick Cannon he's got some powerful sperm, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got some shooters. He's literally, he's literally just building a small militia. Yeah. Isn't he like a 5% or something now? Isn't he like get me to go deep down like the, the, um, the, um, the, um, the, uh, militant Muslim shit.

If I remember correctly. Because what's, I don't disrespect. Please respect my religion, please. Please don't disrespect my religion, first of all. Yeah, sure, bro. Yeah, no problem. Do you think. I got some people that will come see you, Derek.

You would keep talking. I got some people that don't come up for you, bro. Can you? Do you guys think in 500 years, 5% of all human beings will be related to Nick Cannon in some way? That's crazy. Kind of the way that Genghis Khan, like, it'll be like, it's very similar. Genghis Khan was child's play.

Gangis Khan was child's play. this is real crazy I hate the idea of that I hate the idea if people be related to me in the first place but like especially

like having that man he's like dang Nick Cannon was out here fucking that many women he has like what like 10 kids now I don't know I don't know

he has something stupid I don't know who cares by Nick Cannon I care I care that he has too many fucking spons man yeah it's too many canons

there's been a blight he was an absolute blight he's like the fucking he's like the fucking flood he's just just he's propagating it just like his music was so bad bro I don't know I think it was that bad

because in that era of time there was a lot of horrible music that was not it was bad he's only done one thing decent to me and uh I saw drumline and I remember liking it but I never watched it again but I remember it being an okay movie I'm not hearing about it yeah now there's like Miles Teller

in the other movie that replaced it so you know who's Moss Teller again uh he's got Fantastic Yeah fantastic right yeah fantastic Infant Force it Jesus What's that movie called

Whip Blash right Whip Blash? He is in Whiplash as well Yes With uh with fucking uh Wait you got two marble characters In that fucking movie Yeah with just kidding Simmons

That's crazy Just kidding Simmons Shut the fuck up That's his name His name is Justin Kitting Simmons It's just kidding Simmons It's just kidding Simmons

It's not even Yeah And His name is like James Kennedy Simmons Did you know Michael B. Jordan's name is Michael Basketball Jordan? Classic. I love Michael Basketball Jordan.

Crazy that Michael Basketball Jordan is the Michael Jordan that doesn't play basketball. It's always been so fucking crazy to me. That's nuts. Even though they're like 25 years apart in age. It's just weird that Michael basketball Jordan doesn't play basketball and Michael Jordan plays basketball. That's fucking weird. Yeah. What a weird.

What a wild coincidence. It's hilarious. That's not, we're not calling him. him that that's his name that's his name that's who he is I'm not calling him if I tell people if I met him I would say

oh my god Michael basketball Jordan I'm a massive well I'm a decent fan I'm a massive basketball fan I love you as a human torch yeah you were really good I like you I like

I can't place you exactly but I know I like. I don't know what you've been in exactly, but you know, like you seem nice. I actually do want to talk to him. I do want to, Mr. Basketball. I want to talk to him because of that project, that show we worked on where, you know, he was obviously like up there. And I just want to be like, do you remember that shit?

And I want to be like, do you, did you feel? feel like, damn, I deserve way better than just stealing some bitch's purse. It's the come up. You know, it's the journeyman, you know? Yeah, but he was already... He had some lines when he was younger, like, say, in the wire, for example.

And that he just, like, with some dirty nigger fucking ate his tooties. It reminds me of Jonathan Banks who, uh, he plays, um, he plays Mike Ermintrout and Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, like that guy. Yeah. The old bald guy. His first acting credential is in some

fucking PSA about women's periods. And it's like him as like a 15 year old kid and he goes like, what's, what's a cycle or whatever? And it's like he still sounds like, wait, who are you still saying? I'm talking about Jonathan, Jonathan Banks, Mike, from breaking bed.

You're just lying. How long ago was that? Like in the fucking 60s maybe? Like, Jesus Christ, it's ancient man. It's got to be fucking forever and He's like a thousand. Let me look up. Let me look at it.

Mike is the only character in that series that I actually really like. Everyone likes him. Him and Simonsal are the only character that's in that universe that I actually like. Everybody else, I can't fucking stand. Yeah, Jonathan, yeah, here it is. You didn't like Go me? No. You don't like Go me?

Listen. This shit's fucking crazy, but it kicks like a fucking rocket. Jonathan Banks of Breaking Bad appears, okay, so it's 70s. Okay. 70s period PSA menstruation film and it's so nuts because he's

just he's bowling with this girl on like an awkward first date and he goes like what what's that mean what does it mean to bleed or like something like I don't know but he sounds the same that's what's nuts that's fucking awesome it's like what do you mean you're bleeding from your little pussy there what do you mean

what are you talking about get out of here I got to go get out of your blood and your fucking and pussy, we wouldn't be going through this, but when you're greed and your average, you kept bleeding. And you agreed. You always want more.

You always want more, don't you? That was such a good quote, because I was just like, damn, that's the only person that ever told Walter in a way where he isn't able to squirm and wiggle about how much of a shitty dude you are. I fucking... We had a good thing going.

We had a... That fucking, that show pisses me off so much because, like, he's so brilliant, but then just astronomically retarded at the same time. Walter? Yes. The whole time, he's flying by the seat of his pants. But it's like, he thinks he's not. That's the thing. He thinks he's not, because he thinks he's smart everybody in the room.

But he's not smart everybody in the room. He's like, like, socially, extremely autistic, to the point where. Like, people, they blame it on his ego, but I'm like, bro, even, I don't know anyone's ego that's, like, I don't even think Hitler's ego's that out of control. To the point where, like, say, let's just say this real quick, Hank thinks, oh, Gail is Heisenberg. It's over. Case closed. This niggas ego is so out of control. He's like, you know what, nigga? I want you to reopen this case.

Nah, I think he's just copying somebody's work. It's probably somebody who's bald and has a goatee. crazy. That was such a wild part of it. By the way, spoilers, light spoilers for breaking down. Yeah, I think people would have. You should have seen it by now. It's a fucking incredible show. How do you not know Heisenberg is Walter White at this point in American history?

No, I mean, I mean, finding out the gale and all that stuff. But, like, dude, that, I really, that show, it's so weird because, like, I remember finishing Breaking Bad and being like, God damn, that was such a good show, but it's so slow. that I could never watch it again. And I have watched it so many times since, and it's gotten better every time. Every time I've watched it. It's so fucking good.

And so much of it is funnier than I remember it being, like, not even, like, accidentally, but, like, just the first season that show is hilarious. And the second season is really funny, too. Why are you blue? Why are you blue? It had me crying. It's so good.

It's a fantastic show. The one thing is, the one thing that I, I, I, I liked, Not like, that's the wrong word. I am so much more comfortable the second time around with the Skyler's role because you're... Oh yeah, a million percent. Yeah, you understand. I understood it the first time, but it still was naggy.

Everybody who hates Skylar from Breaking Bad has clearly only ever seen it once and has not thought about it really all that much. Right. Everyone that hates Skylar has never been a situation where someone they love is doing something that's terrible. Well, that's like astronomically terrible. And by the way, that's not to say that she doesn't also suck, but in the grand scheme of like everybody in that show, she sucks significantly less than most of the other characters.

Like, Walt Jr. sucks more than fucking Skyler. No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. Walt Jr. fucking sucks. No, Walt Jr. is a dick. No, Walt Jr. is a dick because of Walter being a dick head. It's Walter's jeans inside of Walt Jr. is why he sucks so hard.

Fuck you, dad, you black piece of shit. Dad, why do you keep going to that black guy? He's black. Wasn't that something, did we not improv that before? No, no, no, we were making fun of the fact that people don't know their agenda. It's like, how do you not know what you are? You're it. That's right, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it

It was Walt Jr. being completely unsympathetic to people with like gendered his four years. Like, how do you not know what you are? You're it. That is so funny. You know what's funny? Dude, you know what's funny about that? It's like, I remember doing that in, we, me and Kixie were doing that like in our apartment when we live together. And I think we actually said this to each other.

We said, that's so funny. We'll never tell that to any. anybody. Because it's so offensive and then it just can't. Listen, whatever. Let's go. Well,

Jr. being a complete first and foremost asshole bigot is, I feel like he's going to be. He's already on his way to be in the cigar. Wait, wait, wait, wasn't another thing,

another part of that, that whole improv session we were doing that like, the reason Walter White is, is bad in the first place is because of Walt Jr. And because of what a disrespectful little shitty is. The breaking, so the breaking is, Walter White and

Junior's the bad Galaher is Ireland's new name in car insurance we work hard to get the best insurance for you if your car insurance is due for renewal called Galaher today for a quote on 0818-2-2-400 Arthur J Gallagher insurance brokers Ireland

limited trading as Gallowher and Pulski quote is regulated by the Central Bank of Ireland Click and collect Order confirmed Dad tomorrow can we start a band Can we become robots? Affirmative. Can we go crab battling?

That isn't a thing. How about swimming? Dad, can we take a nap? You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal. Deal. While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials. Book your free click and collect slot at tesco.e or in app. Tesco, every little helps.

Terms and conditions apply. Stupid. If you want me to love you, Dad, Shell meth. Sell meth and get me a car. What's the big deal? We're broke, dad. I know.

I understand. I understand that this is dancing. This is awesome. You understand that this is awesome. I'm done. I'm done being respectful. I'm done. I'm over it.

Let me, let me, I just want to say something real quick. Before you, before you, we go forward, I think it's more disrespectful to dance around this shit as if they're like, Not people. I... I... Well, they're not. All right, let's relax.

What do you mean? I'm spending too much time around his... You're one... His wife. ...three-fifths. He just... He's so big in it. It's crazy.

I may not be able to... You know, I got one. I got a crazy one. We never... We never get a glimpse of it, because... he's so crippled that we're so, we're just thinking like, oh my God, this poor kid. And meanwhile, he's like, he's on in-cell forums talking about how Elliot Roger did a good thing. But you don't see that.

That whole Walter, do you remember when he was doing that, that fucking fundraiser? Yeah. Like, he's actually, he was actually, like, also, like, trying to embezzle some of that money into, like, fucking, I don't know, in-cell fucking. Yeah, he was. I may not be able to walk far, but your dad's in prison. The shit like that is like, whoa. You have that. Dad is not in prison.

Dad. Give him a year. Let's move on. I remember we should, uh, I don't know, should be. Let's go to questions. Yeah, let's go to questions. What a fucking outrageous fucking episode. By the way, before we move on to questions.

We're going to do a little bit of a break. But I do want to point out, we got a really fucking fun extra ammo episode in the docket right now on Patreon right now. I can't even express to you how much fun we, like I specifically had. I don't care about these other people, but I had so much fun writing Independence Day 2 with these guys.

And if you want to give that a shot, give that a listen, I promise you you, won't regret it. Pop out over to patreon.com slash the snark tank and, you know, all that. all that you really like it immediately goes backwards I tried to save us I just want to piggyback real quick on that

okay I was brushing my teeth last night and I started laughing randomly because I was remembering Uncle Phil smiling dude we can't no no no we can't don't don't we can't we can't right

go over go over to the Patreon and and check it out we had so much Much fun. Anyway. It's like in there, just in there just floating. All right, all right, all right.

Leave it alone. Leave it alone. I'm not going to say anything else. I think to say... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll be right back. We're going to hear a message from our sponsors, and then we're going to do some questions.

For just $14 a day, you can get your name carved into Steve Buschemy's leg. Donate to carve your name into Steve Buschemy's leg. leg.org and support a worthy cause. Steve Bouchemmy, fuck that guy. I think he killed Natalie Portman or something on a boat. I can't remember. Whatever. Now, it was Christopher Wachin.

Yeah, that's Christopher Wacken. That's right. Like in real life? Well, it's like a movie. It's like a, no, it's like a, it's like a theory. I don't remember the, I don't remember specifically who it was. Or like who it would, but like there's a, a big theory going around that, like, at some point in the past,

there's, like, some celebrity that got pushed off a boat and died and, and, uh, Christopher walking knows about it or is responsible for it somehow. It's never been proven or whatever, but like, I don't know. Listen, I'm a Fasbeian. I can never do that. I'm going to kill your wife. Yeah. I'm going to throw your wife into a submarine and imploder on impact.

I'll use all the power. in my body to make sure your wife dies in pain fast. Why are you sound like a... My name's Christopher Walkin and I'm going to kill your wife. It's just no impression at all. Hey, what's up? You're lying.

That's how he entered. Your accents lie. Oh. Shut the fuck I'm, Jr. Oh, Natalie. Yeah, Natalie Wood. Wood, that's it. Natalie Wood's wife?

No, that's Robert Wagner's wife. Shut the fucking Jesse. These are old. This is... Pithant. That's such a... That's such a villainous insult. Like, nobody but a villain...

...calls another person a piss hand. That's so nuts. Holy fuck. Dude, you know what I'd love to do? No. You never told us yet. What do you mean? That...

Yeah, it's very true. Maybe for another extra... We write our own... alternate universe breaking bad. That would be a lot of fun, yeah. Fucking awesome. That would be great, yeah. We can actually finally have our race as Walt Jr.

That would be fucking great. Oh, dude, it'd be so perfect. Going off, saying anything you can think of. He never says slurs, though, but he says shit that makes you wish he says slurs. Yeah, he, he, he's one of those, he's like a prime example of, like, he's never said slurs, but he, like, donates the Stormfront, and he's like, he believes all this hard. horrible shit, but he's never said a slur, and people respect him because he's never said a slur and that's it. I would, but there's, I would never say something like that.

But then his friend who's like donated to LGBT causes, he said like the F slur like in 2009 on a call duty match and he his whole career is fuck. And Walter's definitely like snitched him out. Yeah. He definitely snitched him. I like you bald head dad. All right. Let's move on. Let's move on.

Next. Yeah, I guess. Skin hit. Okay, go ahead. It's getting fucking rid of us. The satanic Hispanic Rode and he says, After school,

we got to play outside while waiting for the bus. One day I strained my ankle playing football. I went to go rest on the benches at the bottom of the hill. However, my brother and his friend came, and I thought they were checking on me. Lo and behold, they started beating my ankle with these thick,

not exactly logs, but bigger than sticks. Pieces of tree. I love pieces of tree, as I said, Anyways, after they were satisfied, I got to climb the stairs and hobble over to my bus to go home. Any stories about playground betrayal? That's very specific.

It was very specific. But I love the concept of it. Nowhere near to the same degree. I've definitely been, I don't know. I've never been beat, beat. Yeah. I have a very, I have a very, this is the, I think about this every once about it, because this is the stupidest fucking thing that ever happened to me as far as a, a, a, kid goes, I got to a fight with this red-headed kid named Justin. Shout out of, I don't know where the fuck that guy is.

But naturally, in elementary school, we were obsessed with Mortal Kombat. So all we would do is do like stupid-ass martial arts things. I don't remember why we got into an argument. But instead of fighting like normal kids fight, like tussling and probably trying to hate each other, it looks dumb. We were kicking the shit out of each other, literally just nothing but kicks. And it was to the point where We both became self-aware, and we just started laughing because of all fucking stupid it was. Because it was just like, we're, you know, I don't know, 10 years old. It's almost like the camera gets, like, knocked out of your head, and then you get to see what you're doing. It's like a dream camera almost.

Yeah. That's nuts. It was so goddamn stupid. That's so, I remember specifically get, not, this isn't playground portrayal exactly, but I remember, like, this kid that I used to go to the playground with, I would see him there all the time. It was a complete fucking dick, and nobody liked him, and he was just an asshole for no reason.

There was, like, maybe one of the kid who liked him or whatever, and for some reason he would just make everybody his problem. And we were in line to use this, like, slide. There was, like, this playground that we went to that had, like, this really big, like, really cool fucking slide. And we were, like, single file kind of, like, waiting. And I was behind him, and I was, like, I had this moment of, like,

Man, fuck this guy. And then I kicked him down the slide. Like head first, like any... But I didn't want to be blamed for it. And this is a long time ago, right? So, like, I understand that this is going to be hard to believe a little bit. But I used to be, like, really fucking stupid agile. Like, I was really, really fucking good at, like, moving.

And I was like, if I... And I had the thought to myself where it's like, if I can kick this guy down this slide... and then kind of twist my way under the bars, I can make it look like I wasn't even fucking up there, dude. Like, it wasn't even fucking me. And I did it successfully. He got really mad at me,

and then all the other kids went along with it where it's like, he didn't do that to you, bro. And he was like, well, who did it? And he was so fucking mad. That was like the last time I said, that was like maybe the second of last time I saw that kid. Because everybody just teamed against. I mean, whatever, man, fuck it.

He was freaking awesome. Dude, he was such a, like, he would, like, he's the kind of kid who, like, he would, like, pants you and then kick you down on the gravel. You know what I mean? Where it's like, where it's like, he was such a dick, like, no one liked him. Like, he was such an asshole. But, yeah, fuck that guy. I definitely got in tough. So I lived on, I lived in the Bronx.

His name was Cody. Fuck you, Cody, if you're listening. I kicked you down that slide. You deserved it. So I remember there was this one time that I was at this park in Grant. I was a part by way I used to call Grant Park. It was like a part that got built when I was, like, very small. um so i went there one time after like maybe like fourth graders right before i moved upstate

well i moved it was a six grade so maybe it's like so i went out there was fourth grade and there was this like there was this group of kids that were like a little older and they would always be mean to like there's always one of them that was like and of course he was a gay kid or he seemed like he was a gay kid he seemed like we were little so we don't know exactly yeah so i remember he was like pushing one of my friends and i was like hey don't push him and he pushed me and i think he thought i wouldn't do anything because when i was younger, especially when I was in like New York City I had, I was a very like

Hey, you gotta you gotta Defend yourself kid or also gonna eat you alive kind of kid so he pushed me Yeah, little rabid I stood up and I hit him I just I got soft Because I moved upstate if I would have did this upset I would have got shot and killed So I had to pacify myself Yeah they would have been like what is that

What is that thin black deer Doing in my yard? So I hit him. And then he was like, he started getting mad. He's going to hit me again. And I hit him again. I just kept hitting him. And I remember one of my friend's parents told my grandma I did that.

I got home. I was like, yeah, I won a fight. I was happy. I got home into an ass weapon because he was Billy and my friend. I was like, I was trying to help out. I thought that was what honorable people did. That's what I saw Spider-Man, dude. I got my ass beat.

Your grandmother, your grandmother, your grandmother treated you like, you know that's that it was like the church scene in Kingsman but all directed at you well no she was trying to teach me lessons because of the fact that when I was younger I got bullied so when you happens when you get bullied

if you don't just be stay evictive some people stay getting bullied some people they start overcompensating by just fighting everyone that bothers them and I was definitely skewing towards the other side because you're like eventually gonna fight some kid they're going to shoot you

why did you should get bullied because that was too nice Genuinely. That was too sweet. You were too nice? That was the problem? Too sweet. They'll eat you alive, man.

Inner cities, if you're too sweet, if you're a nice kid. This must have been way before I met him. Oh, way before you met him. I was already a gig. I was in a Bronx store. Years before he met me. I was like maybe like 12. I was so sweet.

I met you and I remember thinking specifically like this is the kind of guy to like sneak up on someone and cheese grater their back. hard, dude, just slamming it and a yank it down. Through their jack, I do it through their coat. That's how strong I am, bro. Like your fucking, like you're fucking slamming it. It's like you're rock climbing. All your way. I was very much so a sweet little kid.

And they would just mean me because I was nice. I thought that's what you had I thought you had to be nice I thought being nice is the way to do it That's what Disney taught me That's what comics taught me That's what Power Rangers taught me I was like oh you gotta be nice

Also I would cry when I was little When I was might pick on me I would cry And they smelled that on me And then eventually my cousin was like Yo if you don't stop being a bitch I'm gonna be every time you come home So then those Dominican kids in the Bronx Man those Dominican kids in the Bronx man

Those Dominican and little African kids They walked into some problems man It was funny because one of the kids I thought when I was in like elementary school before I moved he became like an MS-13 kid and I went back to the Bronx to visit and he instantly recognized me I was like 18 you know going back home to visit

that's when I was like finally able to like go and do what I wanted to do on my own really yeah so I went I took the train down to the Bronx went to visit my dad went over to the Bronx off you my old homies and I saw him their fucking face tattoos bandanas on and I was like oh no this motherfucker

going kill me. Damn. It was actually hella cool. He was like, I was being a dick back then, man. I'm sorry about that. It is none personal. Nothing person.

We smoked weed together, actually. Hella cool, but I was like, oh, I'm going to die. I was like, I am done. This dude is about his shit. He has more tattoos than I have hair follicles.

All right. Let's, story of the story. Don't be, don't sell drugs. Yeah. Or do. It's fine.

Or do. So, Emmett, um, if you got to, if you, listen, if you got a fucking Adderal hook up,

let me know. Emmett Daly wrote in. He says, favorite comic that isn't Marvel or DC. I would say I would say George Carlin.

For me, it would have to be either it would be, I love Invincible a lot, but Invincible has some really bad moments, but it is a great comic. I'm a big fan of Spawn. East of West, pretty good as well. So, Ben had a project by... Well, yeah. I keep forgetting that...

I keep forgetting that spawn his image. Or, um... Is it, is an image? What are they? Mm-hmm. It was... It was image, right? Okay.

It was gonna be Marvel, but then McFarlane left, and he was like, I don't want to do anything over there. And he... Also, he... Mada Farland, huge cunt. Huge, huge cunt. But, um... Got some dope-ass fucking figurines, though, man.

Four. Those... That's the... That is the only thing I stand by that it's as good as he said. Like, his comic, his linework is pretty good. He's really good at drawing line. Like the way he draws Spider-Man's webs are amazing. I stand by that.

But his fucking toys are insane, bro. His figures are out of this world. It's, if they're not McFarlane, I kind of don't give a shit. I remember, I remember, I don't know if it was McFarlane or Weta.

It was one of the, like, you know Weta? They used to do like, they were like equivalent to McFarlane where like they did, they might have seen them, but I didn't really hear about them.

Yeah, yeah. They were more popular. for what they did rather than their name. Like, they kind of like undersold their brand name a lot. But, yeah, I don't know. I don't read enough comics to really give an answer, but. Yeah, I would definitely, I mean, watchman's dope shit, but I definitely spawn. Spawn was my bread and butter.

That was, that for a while was shaping my childhood as far as, like, all my toys. I wanted every spawn. I had for a while, I'm starting to recollect them again. We're just, you know, you can find them pretty easy. at cons so that's been pretty nice and they're not pretty expensive to anymore they're not that's the thing that I bought like a fucking

the original 90s ones in packages for like 20 bucks or less and I'm like this is insane to me I didn't think that was I guess maybe a lot of people don't want them and I'm fine with that because I want them and like a lot of them still come with the fucking comics

like it would come with comics in them and stuff like that so and I've kept them with spawn a little bit back, like say, a few years ago, I know Greg Capulow got involved with Spawn and stuff. Pullo had the last one up from my mistake. Yeah, so, like, I was still kind of

but then it's been a while, dude. I have not, I actually, our power went out, which is rare in Nevada because obviously in the summer if blackouts having a while it would just die. But it went out for a couple hours. That's so fucking crazy.

Yeah, that's why they're pretty good about keeping their power on. This is the first time it happened to me since I'm bigger. I just got a weather notification on my computer. It says 85 degrees Fahrenheit, very high UV. That's fucking, I don't think I've ever seen that. So put on extra stuff. That's a regular thing here. I've never seen that notification, though. Like, I've seen like, oh, it's fucking hot. Are there solar flares? Maybe.

Extra cancer. And there's still a first happening. Stepping outside. That's the only thing that worries me because I'm like, how do you, you can't predict, like, like a massive one, can you? And then, like, you just, an EMP fucks us, and then we're all go back to being fucking monkeys and shit.

Good. Good. We could predict one of those as we would see it probably. Like the one. Like one of those ones, we'd probably be like, yo, look at that big. It just fries everything.

Why does the sun look like it's got a hair in it? That would be so fucking scary to see, bro. That'd be so scary to see. I always, did I tell you about this on the podcast that, like, there's a, whatever the moon, Because right now, it's like massive right now looking at it from where I'm at. And I'm always like, there's a thought in the back of my head that I'm just going to stare at it too long.

And then it's just going to keep getting bigger and bigger. And like that's a fucking mojura's math. He's going to have a fucking face on it. And you can't do anything about it. What are you going to do? Have you ever thought about- Superhero shows up? You got a hope a super being shows up.

Right. You know how the sun is the moon? The light of the moon is, is, um, the sun. Sunlight that's reflected off. Right. I used to think, like, when I was like really, really little, I was like, I wonder if I could stare at the moon for so long that I go blind.

No, I've never thought of that. I remember specifically thinking that, and then immediately, like, I tried it for, like, 10 minutes, and I was like, this isn't working. Yeah, it'd be more chances. Dude, the amount of, the amount of things you do, the amount of things you do when you are bored out of your mind is staggering. like I had like just nothing to do and I was like I guess I'll stare at the moon

and try to hurt myself You know what I really wanted to do? I always wanted to do I always wanted to stare at a clock if I could physically see it move A clock, what do you mean? Just look at a clock until I actually notice the hour thing So you can see the hour hand move Yeah

It's that takes too much discipline Because I've thought about that too I have thought about that before I want to actually pay attention to the hour head moving Look at the moon move throughout the sky Like sit down look at the sky and watch the moon move throughout it. It's hard, man.

You just got to have a psycho. I have actually done that. I've never done that. So at least for the sun and stuff like that and the moon, particularly, no, not the moon. The sun, I know the sun you just need roughly like around eight minutes to really focus. But that's too hard to just focus eight minutes at a time. You can't lock in unless you have camera footage and then you slow it down.

That's the only way you can really notice it. Otherwise, you'll speed it up. specifically. That's what I meant. Sorry, I meant speed it up. But, hey, when he, go ahead, go ahead. I don't want to Okay, so, well, yes. Well, I guess that's it. Let's move on.

Michael, Michael wrote in. He says, you're tasked with pulling an Elon Musk, taking ownership of a social media platform and ruining it for no real reason. Which website would you choose to ruin, and how would you do it? Google. Everything's porn. Everything's porn. Everything is Google's porn.

You can't Google anything that's not pornography. I would ride that should be. It'd be up in flames in 20 minutes. I think it would actually be better. I think it might get more traffic, bro. It's just even easier to find porn now. Cat porn. Cat porn comes up.

Dog, fucking, the shit, the shit that, like, you look up, I'm having serious pains in my back. I think I hurt myself. What should I do? Porn. Some chick just getting her back blown out. Brokid. I actually like that

That's funny That is good You gotta ruin Facebook bro Is it even possible I feel like Facebook's already ruined Well it is so Yeah It is not ruined

It's just That's not where we are That's it Facebook has so much traffic I know there's so many people on there Facebook dude But it just seems like Is it

It's like 45 year olds and above And then not Americans That's what it seems like Who's on Facebook Because Yeah, all my Jamaican ass fan members on Facebook

I still uses it too And I'm like, you're old Tiffany Why are you on Facebook? I don't get it Because I'm like None of my homies are on Facebook But I do see Whenever I log on every once in a while

There's these massive insanely Viral posts that they're always shoving in my face And I'm like, who's doing this? Who's liking this shit? I just feel It's one of those things When you feel kind of a little bit I guess in your own bubble

I remember seeing a lot of like my content freebooted on Facebook for a long time. Like, I remember seeing that. That was like a common thing. It's like, people would be like, they would tag me. They'd be like, oh, this is Chris Reagan. And I'm like, oh, cool. It's nice to see that this video has 17 million views on fucking Facebook.

And I'm not seeing a single cent of that. That's dope. I have, uh, where my reparations, huh? I'm going to calm down. What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? That's 17 million views, dude.

You're a little too active right now. You're a little too active, Chris. You gotta calm down. Look, Ben. I could have at least got like a soda. I will say, you can. You saying that actually reminded me that I need to apply for monetization for Facebook, because I just never think about it.

And the only reason I thought about it once before, I was monetized on Instagram for a while. And that shit was fucking dope. Oh, wow. I would just do nothing. I would do fucking nothing. upload just a couple of dumb-ass things. I would get like a few hundred bucks.

and then they just stopped and then when I took it seriously for the first time because like I started getting like millions of views on my reels and so I was like yo I'm gonna get these fat payouts then they're like oh we're stopping

the program on I was like are you are you fuck for a year for a year I had monetization and then literally I'm the last month I'm like oh man I'm gonna get the fattest fucking payout and they're like we're not doing anymore I was so pissed off bro you can never

never rely on social media to pay you when you need it Real shit. Real shit. It'll always fuck you over somehow. I'll be like, yo, I needed that. I really, I have German assassins after me. I really needed that money. You don't, you're killing me.

I'm going to die. I would take, see, what I would do is I would take only fans, right? And I would, I wouldn't change much about it, but what I would do is, in order for you to view anything on only fans, you would have to turn your webcam on and you would have to and we would have to interact and we would have the direct and we would have the direct right to record you

and you couldn't say no if you covered the camera like no you're you're booted off we'll use like facial recognition software to make sure that you're there in person watching and then we're going to record you and then archive all those recordings

for future use. And we'll even put that in the, in bold text in the, in the fucking, what do you call, terms of service. So that way,

like, it's obvious. And people are going to click through that anyway because if you're on Only fans in the first place, you're clearly ravenously hoarding.

You're clearly like, you're possessed at that point. It's like fucking liquid, liquid's arm on fucking Osolot where you're just like, ah, ah, ah,

ah, it's taking over. They put liquid armor. The fact they put the most evil niggas arm ever on the biggest pussy ever is... Why do that? I saw that's not a pussy. What are you talking about? I'm sorry, no, Osloat.

I'm sorry, I'm thinking of Otokan. My apologies, yes. Yeah, yeah, Adicon. Ococon would have been taken over at 20 minutes. You have been doing it? Ocelot is like fucking 15 steps ahead, man. Like, Osloat's awesome. He's like, ah!

I'm playing what it's got I love that fucking Did I ever show you that that video That really quick edit of Of what is it? Liquid Liquid Yeah

It's some stupid meme where it's like me sneaking coke Or me sneaking my own bottle of water through the airport And it's like it's snake crawling on the ground screaming liquid At Ocelot and he's like running away laughing So stupid It turns out it runs off Yeah, because they cut out the silence between each ha, so it's like, it's all fucked up. But anyway, yeah, I would fuck Onlyfans in that way, because I would love that, dude.

If you had to just stare at yourself while you watched all that stuff. I want to piggyback on that by having me ruining Facebook is just going to be Facebook redirecting to OnlyFans. And then so it's just to, that it just has to, that's all it is. Everyone vicious cycle. Every time. You're like, I just want to see what my grandmother posted about this week. Why am I back here? Or I would take Twitter as it is and I would make anonymity illegal and your profile picture has to be a picture of you spread eagle.

Yeah, it has to be. It has to be. Like, there's no way around it. There's no way around it. And if you don't do it, if you don't do it, the, you know how like the original profile picture, like for default, was like the egg or whatever, it was like the unhatched egg. It would be an AI generated photo of you spread eagle, and it would find you. It would find you.

And so it best, you might as well be actually you as opposed to like the fictionalized fucking AI version of you that we're going to fucking plaster all over your profile. I was thinking about AI, and I do want to retract my thing and say that I would rather to help out Zuckerberg's endeavor. Facebook would just be Elon Musk in his office AI generated just torturing animals And so that's You lock on Facebook It just looks like he's just fucking kicking dogs and shit

And a fucking cat And it scream at the top of his lungs Elon's laughing He Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So this is a pretty obvious I feel like this question I feel like this next question is really obvious

But maybe that's just We'll see Monday left me stroken Tuesday I was I was through with grope And Wednesday my ach and balls were broken Thursday waiting for come Rode in And he says

Would you rather be able to pause time Or rewind it Rewind it Obviously What the fuck is pause? Like what the pausing time like what the pausing time like what yeah if I shoot someone on the What happens? Yeah exactly it's like first of all you pause you pause like look at it you really look at it. You're like ah I did well so I guess you can kind of run away

You're close? Oh Wow, so that's what an eye looks like huh? I'm sorry grandma I'm sorry grandma you saw your grandma oh by the way i can't believe we didn't bring this up fucking paul rubens fucking fucking peewey herman's dead oh yeah i'm dead ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh You, I don't like the way you laugh. You laugh like a fucking... You laugh like an Amazon Alexa.

I'm like, oh man. Oh, God. Holy shit. Why did you do that? Why did you do that? Yo, honestly, dude, we were really unfair to that guy. Like, in retrospect, the amount of people, the amount of people who, who have like been like, hey, I'm Harvey Weinstein

and I'm gonna fuck your child so that I can put it in a fucking movie. And then meanwhile, like in the 90s, we were like, what does Paul Rubin think he's doing jerking off in a porno theater? Yeah. Like, in comparison, dude, it's crazy. He wasn't doing, he didn't hurt himself.

He wasn't bother anybody. He went somewhere. He paid money to do at that place what it's supposed to do. Well, see, that's the problem. That's what that's for. You're not, so here's the thing. It's, this is the stupidest fucking thing ever to me. I'm not supposed to jack off in those theaters. But why the fuck?

What are you doing? Yeah, it's like, I, look, look, under no circumstances, would I ever be caught dead masturbating in a porno movie theater? No way in hell would I even think to even go to one of these places in the first place. But what purpose does a porno theater have? have if not explicitly for that. Who the fuck is sitting there? I love the idea of somebody complain, like going to management.

It's like, excuse me. Someone's a masturbating in the porno theater. Like the idea that that was like a complaint. To be fair. To be fair. Some of the flashlights. Are you masturbating? No, to be fair, was Paul Rubin just like lightly masturbating or was he in character?

Was he thrashing? That's gonna be a, that's gonna be a loogie. Like, it's gone, by the way, Kingston walked away. You funny, he's gone. Like the cops were like, bro, if you would have just beat off subtly, nobody would have said shit. I just love the idea of like, ha! Well, that was underwhelming. Uh-oh.

How am I going to clean all this up? He like comes in in some guy's hair. Like he's got a good fucking shot. He hits some motherfucker. Dude, it hits him in the head so far that so much that he goes. Like it got assaulted. The fuck. It's like, it would be like getting hit with a basketball point play.

It's like that much force, that much PSI is built up in his semen. I'm sorry. Not. I had to take a moment I think I'm looking at myself after hearing Looks like I came all over the floor Ha ha This is so disrespect

I'm sorry I'm actually I do like Like dude Pee We Herman Pee We heard Look Peeee Mervid was a very very

You know He's very You know That show That show on adult swim Specifically like when I I would watch that show On Adult Swim and be like

fucking mesmerized I really loved that movie too I don't I haven't seen it since like I was a child, but I remember Big Adventure. Yeah. I remember specifically that truck driver scene scaring the shit out of me when I was like a kid.

But, um, yeah, so I mean anyway, yeah, rest of peace. Yeah, rest of peace. He's entertained so many motherfuckers, man. Yeah, he didn't deserve the shit that he got. I feel like Pee-Werman was the basis of SpongeBob. I think so too, honestly. I was so much like Pee B. Herman.

That nigga kind of looks like him too. The, uh, what's his name? The voice actor? Oh, Tom Kenny. Kenny? Yeah, Tom Kenny. Yeah. Tom Pinnney kind of like has a very...

He just kind of look like it. A little bit. The idea of Pee B. Herman coming hard enough to knock people down, it's crazy. Then knock, motherfucker is over, dude. He hits to the back of your head and your head starts to leave. It's like, what was that? It's like listening to the atomic bomb in fucking Oppenheimer in IMAX. It just, it, it fucking shakes your body to the core.

Getting hit with that. I'm sorry, huh! Not I'm so sorry, sir I didn't need to come all over you Just kidding Alright let's move on I think he's just pelty you

There's a fucking police chase too The police are chasing him down He comes on the floor and they slip Like No he comes He comes It's like a fucking oil Slick like it's twisted metal

What the fuck We gotta move on. He comes on the floor and in a police officer twists his ankle because there's a dent in the floor. He takes a step in and rolls and shit. Looks like I got another officer. Pig. Pig. Pig.

Oh my God. I'm fucking studying, bro. The thought of Pee-Wee-Herman fucking shouting pig at a point. police officer is fucking amazing. I'm fucking sweating, dude. I'm sweating, too. Holy fuck. There's a heat wave. All right.

Let's move on. Wow. I got fucking dizzy. We'll end with this. Actually, hmm. Where are we got? Are we good or?

Yeah, there's just a couple. I'm trying to make sure. Okay. I want to do like maybe two more max. Okay. Okay, Hayden's Spring Road in. He says, hello, snark boys. What's the dumbest thing you've spent a large amount of money on?

Mm. Fucking rent. That's not a bad question. Damn. Yeah, dude. Honestly. Huh. This might take some digging.

You know, pizza rolls? Well, that's, no, that's insane. I think I know. I think I know. I do think I know. It's not dumb. I love it, but objectively speaking, probably a really dumb purchase. When I bought my white Gibson, or not my white Gibson, my white epiphone Les Paul,

I love that guitar. I would never get rid of it. But at that point, I had owned so many guitars already, and I was nowhere near being like a proficient, like a proficient or professional musician at all. So like having all, like, by the time I got that guitar, I had already had way too many guitars for the amount of success that I had with music stuff at all. Like, it made no fucking sense. It was like maybe like $600, so it wasn't crazy, but like, I don't know. It seems kind of like over.

And I think about that specifically because today I was looking up on offer up because I like, I want, I want electric guitar, but I don't want to go home and get it. because that's like an insane that's an insane amount of money to spend just to get my guitar just to get your guitar maybe like it would be like a $900 fucking you know plane ticket

and then it's like okay so I've been looking for like just cheaper guitars on offer up but yeah that's the one that comes to mine yeah I only in the similar vein I guess

because I just overpaid for a car only because I don't know Dude, cars? Yeah. I just fucking, I overpaid because this was just never again lesson learned type of thing. And it's also this guy.

I hope he's dead or something because I just trusted the guy. There was nothing about his car. Yeah, the car was salvaged. Now, it ran all right. It ran fine. Salved. But the thing is, since it was like basically when it has a salvaged on the title, it's worth infinitely less.

And so basically I paid like twice. They fucking dug that car at a District 9. That's fucking crazy. So it probably got into, it probably got into an accident at some point and then they just fucking makeshift. It looked beautiful. It was a Toyota to Selika. It was a 2000 Toyota Celka, which I was, Selka is my favorite car.

They discontinued them in 2006 and it pisses me off because I, but anyway. So, yeah, I wanted one. I got one. I probably paid twice what I should have paid because it happened to be salvage. And so when. I was ready to sell mine I'm not a piece of shit so I salvage and I fucking

Basically it was just I was like well lesson learned I just assumed that he seemed like a normal Fucking guy and he didn't seem like you're trying to pull any tricks But he got my money He got he got my fucking money and I hope he's fucking dead I hope I really hope I really hope somebody killed him but you know It is what it is

When I look back I realize I have no stupid purchases I only make smart purchases of my money I'm sure Yeah I'm sure I'm sure yeah so my lightsabers all my Digimon cards my vast amount of books that I haven't read this piece of shit this fucking what is that shit what is that what is that it's a freaking holocron oh right okay oh right yeah this piece of shit uh what else uh the obnoxious amount of so I just bought from my computer um I I spend money so stupidly all

the time that I just kind of try to not pay attention to it or else I'll just be like yeah that's really smart yeah it's really not yeah I know that's why I only that's I only have control on my debit card for maybe one day a month before I really takes it away Jesus that's crazy she's like you can't have this because I know you'll make bad decisions and she's right oh shut the fuck up you have plenty of money let me blow mine All right, I just want to acknowledge also Yeah, and then you siphon hers, bro I want to acknowledge

Big Ugly Jordan wrote a really good question But it was basically the same It was basically the same question that we answered earlier About the, you know, what company We would fucking completely run into the ground We acknowledge you, Big Ugly Jordan You're a new name, so I wanted to call A special attention to you

But we did answer your question. Shout out Big Ugly nigger All right, let's relax But Jordan might be female too so you know big ugly broad that's true like that

you like that all right last question ADHD deviant wrote in and he says hello dirk crust and tungsten if you woke up one day and you were gay how would this affect your life I love this question because let me tell you something

infinitely better than whatever is going on right now I like my life would be so amazing if I were good. And it's not even... It's not even a fucking contest. The biggest facts.

Yeah, it's just straight up. Like, I would... I'd be brimming with fucking happiness every fucking day probably. Bro, I would get on Grindr, first fucking second I woke up. Like, yo. Yeah. Okay, so, first of the most...

The dating experience is going to be so fun. We both high-five each other. Like, hey, I'm horny, you're horny. Like, what's good? None of these games. We don't have to... I don't have to fucking buy you dinner and shit. Like, we're just gonna meet up in the, like, fucking just 69 or something.

Like, let's go. Yeah. And I don't have to explain, like, I don't have to explain destiny to you. You know, like, you get it. You're like, it'd be, like, I don't know, man. Seems like, it seems like a perfect reality, quite frankly. Right. But, uh, but Kingston's life would be in shambles because his relationship would fall apart.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. heterosexual relationship right now. So that'd be really crazy if I woke up gay. I'll be honest. That is not teller? Can I can I, can I, can I ask you an honest question?

I want you to answer this honestly. If you woke up one day and some wizard came to your door and like hit you in the head with a staff and he's, and he was like, you're fucking, you're gay now. And then he disappeared. And he disappeared like in front of you so you know he's real. And you understood just intrinsically like, fuck, I'm gay. would you just pretend not to be for the foreseeable future no I wouldn't put it I would tell the truth hmm how do you think her reaction would be

she wouldn't believe me at first I'm like nah I'm as gay as the day as long I like I swear to I swear to you honey I swear to you honey this wizard came to my fucking door and gayed me so like now he blighted me he doused me with gay and now that's like a quick little gay dousing yeah it was funny I don't think

I don't think Joe Joe would be surprised at all. Like, I think there's too many I think there's too many gay jokes in our relationships which you'd be like, oh, like, but then I would say, no, it literally just happened. All that stuff was jokes, but I literally am gay now. And then she probably wouldn't believe me.

He'd be like, oh, no. It's okay. It's okay. We can still be cool. But, yeah, you know, you go get your dad. dick. I think she would be okay with me exploring penis. I feel like, I don't know. God bless. I'm going to ask her. I'm going to ask her.

I'm going to ask her. I'm going to be like, can I suck penis? Would you be okay if I start fucking penis? Would you stay married to her, though? Well, see, it's the, see, the weird thing is so the feeling that I have, like, the feeling of like wanting to protect her and all this shit, with that flee, because now that I want dick, I don't know. You might be, no, because you might not.

What's crazy the thing is this, right? I don't know if I'd be able to put up with Lily without the romantic parts of that. I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, would you be able to, like, imagine, like, all she did is, like, all the part, like, you still love her, but, like, now there's no romantic shit. So when she annoys you, that's just raw annoying. There's just straight up 100% annoying, and you're just like, oh, my God, shut the fuck up. Hey, guys, I think my doctor's calling.

I'm going to just take this real quick. I'll be right back. Okay, well, we're going to be bound. We're going to be bouncing anyway. Okay. So Derek's going to be, Derek's on a phone call, making sure his, his prostate's all good. All his prostate clean he needs to do. Yeah, he's got to do a deep clean of his prostate.

It's going to be like. That is outrageous. If someone's like, hey, your doctor's like, hey, we got to clean up your prostate and you have to use a man's penis to do it. Well, you have to use a man's penis. Take one for the team. Anyway, that's going to be it for us today. Thanks for joining us on today's episode of The Snark Tank. Come on over to the Patreon.

Patreon.com slash the Snark Tank for to get your questions read on the show and all that jazz. We've got some extra ammo popping up. We're doing them a lot more regularly now, so there's going to be like a nice little bit of stuff for you. And yeah, that's going to be today's little jaunt. It's going to be today's little ex-S. You know?

How you feel, Kingston? You feel good? I don't know, man. Hearing about Peeby Herman's fucking concussive cum blasts really took a lot out of me. Now, let me ask you an honest question before we go. What? Do you think the Walt Jr. impressions and the Peewee Herman thing together will cause problems for us? Probably not. If so, we'll just do more of them. That's a good... All right, yeah.

Let me do more of them. That's it. All right. All right. Ready to get this count in. There's this thing on. Yeah, I'm going to read the names. Now.

Ah. I don't even know how to say that fucking word. Sorry. Wouldn't be, wouldn't that be awesome? Marcus Peanix, a rail gunning sneako in the head with his hammer of dawn.

Lobotomized Jesus presents Indiana Jones and the cum jar of confusion. Every time I come, it sounds like Squidward walking, Jackson, DuPont, badly, brave, how good Derek, just remember, this is the time on where you're not Spider-Man, Aetherian, Pergerian, Hunter, Melfast,

one, heir to the throne of haphazard. And as always, King of haphazard. Goodbye. Click and collect. Order confirmed. Dad, tomorrow can we start a band? Can we become robots? Affirmative. Can we go crab battling? That isn't a thing. How about

swimming? Dad, can we take an app? You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal. Deal. While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials. Book your free click and collect slot at tesco.e or in-app. Tesco, every little helps. Terms and conditions apply.

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