The Snark Tank - #17: Film Failures

Episode Date: April 16, 2020

Can your brain understand having your heart ripped out? Is Tom Sweeny a genuine sociopath? Will teleporters kill us? What is it like going to Black People Church? Gears of War 5 is actually kinda good? Are games harder or easier to play now that we're older and smarter, yet more feeble and weak? Do dogs understand violence? Should cunnilingus have a bubblegum flavor? (jesus christ) Would you want to experience true blindness? What was the worst film? Dragon Ball Evolution? Catwoman? Or Avatar: The Last Airbender? The competition is fierce this Easter! Sorry about literally everything you're gonna hear.  NOTE: This episode won't have the names at the end, but the public feed will have it. Editing this was a nightmare due to discord completely fucking our audio. It's better now than last time though. Will be working to make audio as crystal clear as possible. Thanks again for your support in these trying times.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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It's me, Chris, Raygun. And I'm here with everybody that you expect to be here at this point. I'm here. Oh, yeah. Is your boy. Is your boy? What's popping? We're still, we're still,

we're still social distancing at the moment. So, bear with us as the world crumbles. Yeah. I figured we'll just jump in to some shit right off of that. No reason to dwell on the sadness. Absolutely.

Because every video I see now just starts off with a, you sure are some crazy times. Yeah, it's getting really annoying being sad. So let's just talk about some bullshit. So I put up a thread for every podcast that we do on the Patreon, Patreon. Patreon.com slash the StarTank. And I think it's $5 patrons can ask questions. I didn't do that this week because we had one thread up for like two weeks, and there are still a lot of questions from that thread that are worth going into. So I figured we'd just jump into those. Oh, hell yeah.

And the first one, let's see. Let's see. What do I want to start off today? Let's see. Come on, guys. Stop that. Stop smacking no lips. I'm not smacking.

This is all tongue work, bro. There's no lips involved. That's horrified. Either way. All tongue work, bro. I can show you to work, Derek. I don't want to... No.

Double O Dolphin wrote in. And he says, Why is Bethesda such a shit company and why don't they let me play Doom? Excuseing my... What? Excuseing my saltines. A real...

What the fuck? I don't even know what the fuck you're trying to say here. A real question for you guys. If you had to be a leading... If you had to be the leading expert in one niche subject, what would it be? So, like, what is something

that you know about, like know a lot about that is deeply unnecessary. Oh man. What do I know a lot about actually? You, probably nothing. Probably, actually. I'm really good at like social interactions so I can do like a study about that.

No, are you joking? I'm super good when I'm not trying to be a fucking absolute monster. I'm really good at talking to people and consoling people. You're a fucking... In fact, I'm great at it. Soling. Yeah. Can you imagine, can you honestly anybody?

this is me this is not this is not it's not Sweeney this is me the person I can console people but the whole thing is that you are arguably worse than your counter you've been your no I'm not no I'm not I'm really I'm really nice but it's like like you know sometimes I just get fed up with all the people trying to be heroes and I'm like fuck it I'm just going to say something terrible but I don't mean it it's not me it's not my heart you know fucking sad bitch. You're always, fuck you Derek. You're such a, you're such a, what are those anti-conformists or whatever?

I'm not an anti-conformist. I'm not edgy. What do you mean? I don't know, man. Even when you're just like playing smash in your, in your leisure, you're still just like, fuck the world. You know, they, they, they're going to. You told me, you told me, you told me that you chant hate every night before you go to sleep. Yeah, but that's just to keep my power.

That's to keep my power strong. Like, what? hatred gives you power and focus, bro. What do you mean? Don't fucking judge me. You're definitely well adjusted. I feel like you'd, I don't know, maybe like a smash. You'd probably be like a smashed expert or something.

No, I wouldn't. I'm not good enough if I smash to be a smash break. Really? Not good enough, no. I can't, like, devote that much time. I think if I just devoted that much time to anything. Like, if I just actually paid attention to school entirely, instead of, like, taking tests the last minute and getting, like, bees,

I could be really good at academics, but I just, I haven't done that in years. I know far more about Halo than any person should who isn't, who doesn't have a job keeping track of that. There are some Halo channels that I know that are like, okay, well, that's your business. I make, that makes sense. But for some reason, I think I know too much. That's probably going to be, I could be a leading expert in that, if that's even a thing. Probably not a lore consultant. A leading expert in Halo.

Lore consultant. I think Derek would be something, I don't even know. You'd be a pussy connoisseur. You'd be like really good at telling people like what kind of pussy's the best kind of pussy. I mean, you know, that's that is such a stupid thing to say, but at the same time, like, I mean, there's dudes out there that, you know, that slay and they probably have like 700 STDs. But I think for the amount of stuff that I've done, we don't have that many SDs. I think I have a good curation. I think I could give sound advice on what's the best pussy and maybe possibly not sound misogynist.

I think I think I could do that. That's the key. That's the key is to not sound misogynistic. That's pretty hard when you're critiquing pussy. When you're actually just critiquing vagina, it's really, really hard to sound like a nice guy. Okay, well, hold on. Let's think about this for like even just. the modicum of a second.

If some woman was out there reviewing dick, I don't, I don't know if people would be like that person hates men. You'd argue that, in fact, probably the opposite. So, like, she loves men so much that she's willing to dedicate this amount of time and an entire career path dedicated to just seeking out the, like, the prime examples. You see, that's... No, I understand that. But due to the political climate, you see.

Yeah, I don't know. If I went around saying, hey, you know what's the best kind of pussy? You'd probably have to be. And I'd have, and I'd have analytics too. I'd have like a little fucking, like a little fucking graph drawn up. Like, here you guys go. Here you guys go. No, not a PowerPoint.

It's like a fucking, it's like an Excel program. Okay. I like it. I've heard some wild shit from people. Like, you know, just talking to dudes that, you obviously they don't have any idea what they're talking about, but they genuinely believe that there's like a difference in taste based on. ethnicity or something like that and I'm like are you fucking oh I agree with that what what vastly agree with that really stupid no I mean there's definitely no there's

definitely a no there's definitely a taste in flavors oh no you've definitely you've you've never eaten supposed to that taste like fucking bubble gum and you're like wow what is no that's probably that's probably a disease what the hell is that shouldn't taste like that's a good taste in disease man sign me up god damn it it shouldn't taste like bubble gum at any point well bubble gum tastes good Hubba Bubba Max kind, you know, the LeBron kind, I had the fucking purple, the purple inside with the paint outer side? This might be the quickest we've ever descended. This, like, I'm sorry if this is your first episode.

I'm really, let's hope it's not the first episode. Guys, I'm sorry. We've answered the question. We're just going to move on. My brain is not what it used to be anymore. I'm just angry. Oh my God. God help us all.

Dangel Blampy wrote in. He says, hello Ronald Reagan. Don't call me that. Sweeney Tom and African. Okay, I'll take that. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Shit.

What? Straight up. And African. 40% man in the Cameroon region. Chill out, man. Calm down a little bit, all right? This question is probably the most baffling thing I've ever read in my entire life. It is the future, and you decided to get your eyes replaced with better ones.

They offer to wake you up during the halfway after your eyes are taken out. and before your new ones are out or what before your new ones are in so you can experience true blindness you have a lot of anesthetics in you so it won't hurt and you can go back under to complete the surgery at any point

do you decide to wake up during the halfway point so you can experience true blindness I have never wanted you know what true blindness is when you're asleep and your eyes are closed that's true blind in a pitch black room but there you go you have it Like, I don't need to...

I guess, yeah, that's as close you can get. I don't... It would be like completely darkness. I have never once seen like somebody with like some horrible affliction and thought, man. I'm just so curious what it's like to be that person that I would actively seek out a way to experience it. I... Okay. Now, this is going to sound like me being a fucking maniac again.

Wow. It's been, it's been a minute probably since you sounded like a maniac. So it's fine. Hey, I might be on board. What you got? I've always wondered what it was like. like to be like a dwarf. Oh, okay.

No, I'm not on board. Never mind. Because this, because I'm pretty tall, but like, I could imagine being really small. That might be like a whole other world of adventure. Why would you want that? I'm just, I don't want it. I just wonder what it's like. I mean, you can suck dick while you're standing up.

Big deal. Whatever. Like, like, like, like, a big fucking deal. That's, that's the best. That is Derek's, that is Derek's optimal function at that height. That is what that's the best thing you could do at that height. Not, not explore, not have a real amazing time on a jungle gym. Like a real great time.

No, it's sucking dick while you're, sucking dick while you're still standing. You can, you can go up on people's wives, I guess. Hey, you could really, you could really have an intense time at an obstacle course. Oh, yeah. Like that might be like insane. They might be like fucking a triathlon for you. Look, man. I'm so sorry for any of our-

Exactly. I'm so sorry for any of our viewers. Exactly. I'm so sorry for any of our viewers who are little people. That's exactly fine. That's really insensitive of me. I'm so sorry. But like shit.

It must be an adventure. This podcast is like 66% little person or something. We got this. Can you imagine? It's two-thirds. What of that fucking comedian? Derek and I are. Of a person?

What of that? Of a person? Oh, yeah. We are pretty short. So I think we're okay We can say that We can say that's not really that short I am

Not really To the average person Like the average male height In the US at least is like 510 And I'm 56 510 is the average I thought it was 58 or some shit Damn no no

It's it's on like oh you know Because there's a lot of You know a lot of corn fed Fucking Midwestern people Which is straight up European fucking Viking blood And they're tall as fuck There's a lot of them Man, that's true.

But in my area, since I grew up around a bunch of fucking tiny Mexicans, being around like 5-6 to 5-8 is totally fucking normal. Didn't notice anything. I didn't notice how short I was until I was in London. I was in the Heathrow Airport and I met up with a bunch of people. Like, hey, I'm going to be at the airport with a three-hour layover. Like, let's meet up and get some drinks. And everyone, including the women, were all tolerated.

than me. I was like, what the fuck is happening? That's insane, dude. It was pretty weird. Trip me out, man. I was short when I was little, when I was like, when I was like a little kid, I was not very tall. And then like, I just kind of decided like, I don't want to be short anymore. And I grew. And that's it. You just decided. Okay.

But I'm going to be short again because like my grandma, my grandmother, bless her heart, she's Puerto Rican. And you know Hispanic shrink when they get older. So if that shit's in my blood, I'm going to get real tiny. Now, you're probably just going to be a normal, heighted person. Yeah, I might just be regular. I might just be 58. Yeah. Wait, so when we, uh, oh yeah, the blindness, the blindness.

So, I was thinking the only reason why I'd want to try it, because I obviously, I think a lot of people can figure out, like you said, at night, you can figure out how, how, what it's like to be blind. However, I think to having true blindness. Success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs. APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop.

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There is something to being an extraordinary person like Stevie Wonder, like Ray Charles, like fucking like Daredevil. Like there's something to it. Like, like these two, these two realistic, these two people that learned how to play the piano and sing really well, and then this comic book character, the guy, chemical stone in his eyes. For sure. Matt Murdoch, Matt Murdoch is blind and he's extraordinary. And so I feel like if you got blinded during surgery temporarily, you might have powers. Derek, you know what? Honestly, go for it.

I got your back. Do your thing. I am objectively the most blind person in this call. And I can tell you it's not, it's not fun really. It's not cool. It's not hip and swagalicious. My eyes suck, too. Don't worry.

But like, I understand. My eyes are very, I'm colorblind partially. So like, I, oh, that doesn't count. You just get like a different filter over your fucking light. No, the fuck I don't.

I just can't see some colors that are important. I didn't know the color. I didn't know the color carnation pink was pink. I thought it was just white for a long time. And I got into a heated argument with one of my teachers. I was like, this just looks like it's white. This is like a weird white, I guess.

And they were like, No, that's a pink color. And I was like, that's not pink. And I raised my voice and I got sent to the principal's office. You can't tell when the traffic light is telling you to go or stop. That's not a big deal. Are you fucking dense? Are you dense?

Is your brain thick? We're only like 10 minutes in. Oh, shit. Actually, 15. That's going to get buck wild. That's better. That's better. Ruebe?

I think that's how you say that. I have no idea. Tell us, they wrote in, tell us more existentially terrifying shit. Mine for today is, Do you think your brain would be able to comprehend the feeling of getting your still beating heart ripped out of your wound? You guys got a really... I'm going to start not reading these things if they're written, like, weirdly grammatically.

Because I'm already dyslexic, and it's fucking me up big time. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck you were just saying. Do you think your brain would be able to comprehend the feeling of getting your still beating heart ripped out of your chest? Or would your brain just short circuit and shut down? I don't know, maybe. You'd definitely be able to understand what's happening. Maybe you might understand it visually. but like you might not know what to feel in your brain.

We're like, oh, we don't got time to feel that. We got to try to keep you alive a few seconds longer. No, your brain would just be like, yo, you've got your brain is where your understandings happen. So like you'd be able to understand that your heart is getting into your chest. It's happening by visually. But I feel like you wouldn't feel it because your body's probably just like what the fuck's going on. That's not supposed to happen. We're not built to feel that, you know?

You wouldn't feel your heart being ripped out of your chest? I don't. I feel like at that time your brain, your body. probably your brain will probably like use some backup function. It'd be like, hey, just turn off his sense of feeling for a little bit. Yeah, it depends on how prepared you are for it. Yeah, it's just, I feel like you go into shock. Yeah, you, you would.

I don't know if you could really prepare. I don't know if you can really prepare for that. Oh, let me tell you there's people that can kind of prepare for it. The, the people that the Aztecs would fucking, or was it, it was the Aztecs, right, that would fucking do this. Or was it the minds? It might have been either. They're both, you know. I always forget.

I got to ask my. fucking yeah my friends that know about that bullshit anyway but the ones that would do the sacrifices and they would fucking rip people's hearts out like those motherfuckers had plenty of time because they absolutely knew what was coming you know all those people that were being like lined up to be sacrificed and have their hearts cut out so I feel like they had it the worst because they anticipated it opposed to like say if uh you know sheng sung or someone just walked up to you on the street just ripped your heart out real quick and then I don't I think your brain would like just shut everything down like what the fuck

just happened and then what if you're in a line at like Universal and a really tall man behind you gets like a really powerful and quick erection and it goes through your chest and pushes your heart out like a like a little Lego piece and then it goes back in that guy that first and foremost that guy's um dangerous

uh his dick just punctured me his dick just fucking entered and he'd rate me technically so um yeah i mean just I mean, a little bit, yeah. That's, that's big. It's like Inspector Gadget. Like, that's like something that he has. Go, go, go gadget, heart punctured dick, McGill on.

Straight through your fucking chest. He specifically does it to puncture people's hearts. Is that? Because he's tall. He's that tall. I don't know. I don't know. His dick is where people's hearts are.

What the fuck is that? What do you mean? He's got to be like, he's got to be like 12 feet tall, probably. That's insane, bro. Although I guess technically Inspector Gadgett was pretty tall Because there was that scene in the movie where he's like running, he's like chasing that car And he's walking down blocks He's walking on his big ass legs

He's walking down city blocks Do you remember that movie with like they had like another Matthew Broderick with like chicklet teeth? What? No, no, not at all. You don't remember that? No. In the Inspector Gadget movie it was Matthew Broderick. He was playing Inspector Gadget and there was like like, oh my God, how do you even say this?

Like a dark version. Like a negative version of Inspector Gadgett in the, yeah. Like a nega, a nega inspector gadget. Negaggotget? Nega. Naga. I didn't want to say, the exact reason I didn't want to say,

Nega. What's good, my Nega? But he had like, he had like chicklet teeth. He had like really white, like fake looking teeth that look like, like chicklets. Nega gadget, right? Naga gadget had that, right?

Yeah. Nega gadget had chikettee. I don't think I've seen any of those movies. I saw the first one, definitely. There was a second one? Yeah, there was more than one. Wasn't there two? wasn't there two?

I'm pretty sure there was two. I could have sworn it was just one. Because the gadget started fucking up and he had to fix his hands. Maybe you're right. To fix his gadgets. I don't know. Fuck. What the hell are we talking about?

I don't know. I don't know. How do we get from the heart? Oh, the heart thing. Would your brain be able to comprehend? Yes, it would. It might be able to, but I feel like it's very possible that I can just like skip over it and try to just do something more important.

Because I feel like feeling that pain would not be the optimal thing for your brain to do. Because like sometimes when you get hurt really badly, your brain goes into shock. Does your brain. your brain do the most optical thing for your brain to do ever really? It tries to keep you alive first. That's what it does. Like whenever you break your ribs and you go into shock, your brain's like you can't really feel this. You don't have time. You know, people have daily panic attacks because their brain does it to them. There's no evolutionary benefit to that. But that's like a chemical imbalance, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. But like you can feel like, that's like different, um, their brain is built differently. That's like a problem that they have. But you feel all your pain. So why would you just not feel the most exhumating? But you don't, but you don't always. always feel your pain because if something's really extreme, your brain is like, it tries to fix the problem instead of like making you get overwhelmed and then overworking another part of your body, you know? It tries to correct itself. But you still, that's kind of like anesthetic or it's like, oh, yeah, it numbs it, but you still, you're still very aware. Adrenaline, man? Yeah, you're still very aware. It numbs it. You might still be feeling the effects of the pain, but you might not be actually like, how I'm explaining it. You're still taking the damage from it, but you're just numbing it. No, usually, I don't know if that's how the brain works. It does do that. It does do that. Literally. But it definitely, that, I hate agreeing with Sweeney. I really do. But he, he's right, man. He's totally right. And when it comes to bioscience, sometimes, some of the time, I'm good. Yeah, I don't, I don't like that. It kind of annoys me that you're, that you're kind of on to something. But, yeah, you're right. But no, yeah, it's just like adrenaline. Like, say, anytime I've done something, you know, we talked about adrenaline before, but, like, say when I got, I got, I got, I got jump or when I got, when I even got sucker punched by this fucking Cholo. I didn't feel it until after it was over After I was like oh my jaw's a little sore But like even with that second that you know

When he punched me your my brain already was like Shoot the adrenaline shoot it in there so he doesn't feel shit It's like instantaneous so kind of like when people get shot Or they don't notice or remember that dude Paul Pierce Yeah I know the best player yeah he got he got shanked like eight times at a club And he had no idea He got to a fight and then and then he got stabbed He was a stabbed eight times, and then it was later.

He's like, what the fuck? Like, why am I? I bleeding a lot. Why am I covered in blood? Am I on my period? What the fuck's going on? Right. I don't know.

I think there's a massive difference between a stab and one of your organs being spooned out of you. Look, I get what you mean by your organ being swooned out of you. But like, think of it like this. If you felt your heart be taken out of your body, you'd probably feel so much pain you would just instantly turn off. off. It wouldn't even be worth feeling that pain. You'll probably feel it and it's passed out. Like, oh, I'm dead. I'm gonna die. Right. Right, but you would feel it. I don't know. And you would understand

what's happening to you because you would be like, oh, that's my fucking heart. It's a possibility. I think you would just see that's your heart. But I think it's very possible that your brain will probably try to ignore that and then die anyway. Because that's too much work to do. Like, your brain can't fix that. Sure can.

Chris, I don't know if you're, I don't know if you're being a, uh, what is that? What do you call it? when you're just being negative for the sake of pissing people off? Stupid? Stupid, idiot? Maybe a little bit.

Maybe a little bit. Yeah, I feel it, man. But he said, tell us more existentially terrifying shit. You know what else happens? Aneurysms, bro. That shit's the craziest thing ever. I live in constant fear of an aneurism because it's just so fucking random

and there's no rhyme or reason to how that shit works. Aneurysms. That is like, that is somebody just control, alt-deleting existence and just like closing programs it deems unnecessary. Just a shot in the dark. I don't like that shit. Terrifying. I think the thing that freaks me out a little bit is the idea that

or the thing that bothers me is the fact that I don't think we'll ever really have true teleportation. I know certainly not in my lifetime, but just in general as like a as like a species or like even in science. I don't think you'll ever have

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And I feel like that would in turn be like It would be like stepping into a suicide booth And being like cloned somewhere else And that shit really really freaks me out The idea that I could step into a teleporter And then just my consciousness stops And then just some other husk goes on With my memories

I mean I don't think it would be another husk If you were reassembled It would still be you They wouldn't still be you Now your consciousness can't be reassembled I think to agree with Chris because he's garbage, but it's very true. You would die. You would, if you went to a teleporter.

It is an impossibility. I agree with that. But I was just saying if it were possible, then it wouldn't be going on with something else. It would just be a clone of you. Well, if it were possible, if it were possible, I feel like the only way that we would solve it with our primitive science would be in a way that wouldn't really take into account, like, kind of the metaphysical kind of ideas of like what consciousness really is. I feel like it would just be like, hey, let's disassemble this person and just reassemble them perfectly on the other side, which, like, I feel like you would just cease. I feel like your, your, your, your, your, your, POV would end. And then it would be, it would still be you on the other side.

But like player one is no longer, it would be like starting a new. It'd be like someone, someone unplugging your control and putting another controller in. It's like saving in Resident Evil or something at like chapter seven. And then you continue on past that. It's like once you've loaded, once you've started that new save, like that's, that previous save is just, that's all, that's where that ends. I think they'd have to upload their consciousness into something else. Because what happens is when you, because when you get, to be teleported,

you have to break apart your matter and then reassemble it somewhere else. So you're being atomized, pretty much, and then place in another place. But the thing is that you have consciousness, that no matter, even when you're asleep, it doesn't really ever just get completely destroyed. So the thing is you'd have to upload your conscience into something else and then reassemble your body, then re-imple your consciousness back into your body afterwards. That's actually, that's probably the way around it, honestly,

because I don't foresee people being able to figure out how to teleport human beings or like complicated life forms without really just kind of resorting to cloning and just sort of uploading, because that seems like, which is kind of cool, because that seems like really crude and like a cool kind of like sci-fi concept. I just don't want, I think cloning is wild.

That shit is insane to me. It's like fucking terrifying. Like CRISPR technology and all that shit is this insane. Wait, what is Chris? Is that like the gene editing? Anything that involves artificial, artificial creation of organics is mind blowing to me. It's so, it's so wild. It's just like dark science to me.

That's like editing your kids, right? Yeah, that's what the CRISPR stuff is. I mean, it's just a direct way of doing it. But, you know, we've been doing that for a very long time with selective breeding. You're very right. Yeah. So it's just now we just have a, now we just have a. A lot of dogs.

Yeah. A lot of dogs right now are just. Abominations. Abominations. Yeah. They're fucking mutants. Oh, yeah, you see them. Some of them just look like they're just straight up suffering. You know?

You've ever heard a Frenchie or a pug breathe, dude? That shit is so fucking heartbreaking. Awful. And people think it's so fucking adorable. I'm like, God damn. It's like, oh, look at him. wheeze, it's like he's wheezing because he doesn't have all of his nose. Don't you think it's cute the way the top of his skull goes up and down as if it's hollow?

He's missing part of his nasal canal, bro. That's not cute. That's horrible. I love the way his ribs collapse every night. It's so adorable. Like fucking chihuahuas are just naturally terrified. They're just filled with anxiety. That's how he shakes so much.

People are just like, because they think that, because it's all the like the adrenaline of a fucking full-sized dog in this tiny pee-week. creature. Yeah. It'd be like putting Broly in Krillen. It's like Krillen would be fucking shaking. You'd be shaking up a storm.

Like constantly. It would be terrified. That's sad. I fucking, I hate you all so much. Krillen would look like, if you put broly inside of Krillan, Krillin would look like fucking Michael J.

Fox. I swear to you. No, he would just not stop. He'd look like flash whenever he's vibrating to solid matter, bro. He'd be, it'd be fucking like, almost transparent.

It'd be a tranquil process. He'd look like someone made of smoke. just low opacity krillard I don't know man that shit that I don't like that shit man it really just it really does bother me though because like some of them

the ones that aren't ostensibly ostensibly suffering are cute I think all of them are suffering though because of the fucking life expectancy oh yeah they're just all fucking wrong actually no no actually that's not true

smaller dogs actually have higher life expectancy that's true but the thing is that like they also they usually have like problems like for the most part most purebred dogs are sick yeah yeah no i i know what you mean but like i know they're all suffering but like i know they're all suffering but like i'm just saying i'm just saying there's some of them that it's like way more apparent you know what i mean like like you look at like a yorky and it's like that thing looks fine but like a pug is like oh why is my skull pushing my face out of my body what why is why why why do my eyes fall out when i turn six.

The thing about Yorkies, you can tell they're fucked up because of their aggression. They're such aggressive little dogs. Like, they'll kill, like, a yorky, if you gave a yorky, if you give a yorky a knife and an instruction manual on how to use a knife, it would kill everybody in its household. Well, no, it wouldn't because a yorky is still a fucking yorky and it can't read or pick anything up. What are you talking? If you taught it how to use a knife, man, that thing would

fucking slaughter people. Success starts with your drive. An American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. Agents who are realtors do more than open doors.

They analyze market trends, interest rates, comps. They can tell you about flood zones, mixed use zones, and decode acronyms like HOA, APR, MLS. They connect you to lawyers, contractors, even Phil, the Searoscope guy. They negotiate, coordinate, advocate for you, close the deal with you, and hand the keys to you. They bring you home. Realtors are members of the National Association of Realtors, right by you. Yes, if you hypothetically in a different reality, imbue to Yorkie with thumbs and a malicious conscience. I think the malicious thing is already taken care of. They're already malicious.

Yeah, but it's not a malicious conscience. I mean, they're conscious somewhat and they're malicious. So, I mean, it's... I don't know. Do you think an alligator is malicious just because it like tears the arms off of other alligators? Not so much. I think if an animal choose to hurt something out of want, it's malicious. Like, chimpanzees are malicious. They can be very much of malicious. Killer whales can be malicious. But maliciousness requires empathy and like animals kind of don't really have that. Like, there's not exactly true. There's no way a cat understands that like I don't know if I don't know if dogs really understand I think they do

That's very much so that's that's that's ridiculous I don't know That's a ridiculous thing so I can't know If you hit a dog and it whimpers and runs away It understands pain That's no no that's not what I'm saying idiot I can feel pain But I don't know if it understands that when it bites down on you

It's hurting you It does I think it just knows That's why when you play with dogs They don't go full force and tear your arm They're literally they bite you ever so gently or like cats usually don't claw your eyes out and they won't extend their claws When they're fucking with you, you know? Yeah, I guess that's a good point like if a dog bites you it licks you afterwards Because it knows it hurts you like especially if you like you reel back it'll try to lick your hand Yeah, that's a fair point. Yeah, that makes sense

They do they just they just can't communicate it the way we can that's all it is Yeah Because they're not as smart because they're stupid. They're fucking dumb animals. Yeah, no, that makes sense Yeah, you're totally right. Slaves. They are, man. I love my dog. I was thinking, I was thinking,

because I was thinking more along the lines of just like, I figure a dog understands it when it bites another animal, or like, presumably, like, based on its, like, genetic memory, that when it bites an animal, it stops moving and they can eat it. But I don't know if they understand, like, I didn't know if they could really understand that animal is feeling pain so much as they're just like, oh, I know how to eat things. And this is how you eat things.

I think I definitely Based on human interaction Usually animals change psychologically a lot So I think definitely Dogs and cats particularly And even bears Because it's weird as bears have A lot of ridiculously social

Like behavior We're just disgusting You see a bear in a fucking gang bang What? It's just like I'm here It's me I'm a bear A bear A bear walks in puts a condom on

It's like I got next It says that It says that out loud They're social animals, Derek. They have social behavior, man. It's weird. My mind did not go there at all when he said social. You ever see the country bears?

Is that the, no. I thought that was like a book or something. You never saw a bear out of open mic. Just spit in a bunch of spoken word about how terrible forest fires are. You never been here before? It's snapping its fingers and it's just, and you know there's some fucking stupid hipsters at the club just like totally like yeah man just vibing off that shit no but then you start to listen you start to listen and you start

understanding the bear's pain simply through facial expression you're like damn this bear is really talking about his emotions you start to hear clear english stop burning my force man fuck for real shit sucks bro fuck I'm starving my baby starving. I love the idea of a bear just fucking roaring and snapping its fingers at a fucking open mic. You have fingers. You have paws, bro.

Yeah, I know. That's why it's off-putting. Pins one of the people in the audience up against the wall, and he whispered, I tried to tell you. And then it just slowly eats his head. Slowly. Fuck.

It just scoops his face off his body like a fucking, like the cream off an Oreo. It was fucked up Bear could totally do that Yo, I've had that image in my head for such a long time Just like the visage of scooping anything off of something The way cream falls off an Oreo When you fucking tooth scrape

Just so together Like the cream and Oreo is so together Like it's It doesn't really adhere to the Oreo the right way You know Yeah, you can scoop it off pretty cleanly Yet it's so reliably grafted onto it Yeah, it's weird

It's fucking it's weird All right. What are we talking about? I don't know. What is our lives? I don't know. This is our lives at this point. Chase Davis wrote in said which of the elemental bending powers from Avatar the Last Airbender would you have?

You can make up your own if you want. Air. Air? Easy. Air. You know the amount of fuck shit I could do with air bending? If we're going on just purely... If we're just being like rudimentary and like,

sticking with the basics as to like, okay, this is air bending, firebending, water bending, earthbending, these are just like the basics of what you can do. I feel like earthbending is probably like the most useful. But success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion,

Our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APUS.edu. Springs here and weekend projects are back, and so are the Lowe's runs. Save up to $20 on Scott's turf builder grass seed. Plus, save $20 on a select ego 56-volt leaf blower. Now just $199. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's.

Lowe's. We help. You save. Valid through 325, while supplies last. Selection varies by location. Turf builder offer excludes Alaska and Hawaii. We have everything you might want for the end of winter. Visit your nearby lows on Renier Avenue South in Seattle. They're all useful. But yeah, but I mean, I don't know.

Just earthbending seems cool to me, just like flinging mountains of people. But the, also just like from just like a shelter, like you could build your own house and like a set. Like that's, it's a really utilitarian ability. But if we're going by like the actual like lore implications, like the deal. like the deeper implications of like firebending being able to control lightning and kind of shut people synapses off or like water bending translating into like bloodbending and shit I'd probably want to do I'd probably want water because water's kind of everywhere control people you fucking demon you wouldn't you wouldn't want a blood bend I would you would not want a blood bend yeah you say that now and then some wizard falls into your fucking lap and says I'm gonna I'm going to give you a bloodbent if I was given it I would use it obviously because I'm giving this ability why you Why not use this thing I've been gifted? But, like, if I could choose, I would choose air bending because you could do everything.

You could manipulate every element air bending. It's fantastic. Yeah. Can't really manipulate Earth, can you? You can blow winds hard enough to pick up rocks and fling them at people. Yeah, but I can make, I can be the rocks. I can be the rocks. Can you smell what the rocks are cooking?

I would be an airbender and I would do fuck shit. I'd crash planes. I'd crash helicopters. What is wrong with you? I'd make fucking tsunamis. I'd fucking make hurricanes, bro. I'd fucking take people's air off their lungs, man. I'd fucking collapse people's hair.

I'd fucking do shit that I couldn't get fucking caught for doing because it's wind. You're giving me shit about wanting to bloodbend and you're fucking out here. I don't want to take people's will away. You're out here killing. You're out here. Okay, hold on. You're giving me shit for bloodbending and you're out here sending Kobe Bryant into the mountains. I'd be doing so much fuck shit.

I would be literally change the way this planet worked. I would fuck this world up This is why, man This is why we can't have anything nice I would literally fuck with the wind Above the fucking in upper atmosphere And cause like fucking serious storms Like I'd fucking ruin this planet

Just for fucking fun Certain I am certain that whatever creator of the universe Is listening to you right now And using it as a prime example Of why humanity should not ascend Oh yeah we shouldn't ascend We're monsters We're monsters

I'm just admitting it Everybody fucking hides it. It's solely that guy. Nobody else. It's that guy. Like, we were going to give you time travel. We're going to show you how warm holes are going to work. We're going to show you all of this beautiful stuff.

And then this man keeps opening up his fucking, his jaws and making the most horrendous fucking sounds. And it scares us. Look, look, all I got to say is that I would be a god. Let's be a fucking. Let's do a hypothetical here. Let's do a hypothetical here. I'm, I'm God and you've just died and you're at heaven. Oh, me?

Yeah, you've just died near. You're at the pearly gates. You're walking up to me. Hello, hello there. Hey, God. Hey, God. What's up? Are you not supposed to be here?

You're supposed to be downstairs. Yeah, I know, but I came here to dispute that claim. I don't really want to go to hell. It seems too hot down there. You say you want to crash Kobe Bryant into building. use you want to? It was a joke. It was big joke. No, it's no joke. I read your heart. I read your heart and man.

You go downstairs where the devil is. One moment. May I please talk to you? Okay. Why are you putting a voice on? This is supposed to be you. That's just how I sound. That's what I was thinking. This is my voice. That's your voice when you die because you've died of a feeble

voice box disease. And why is, and why is fucking God German? Why is God German? Yeah, why is he German and or Austrian? What was that? Somewhere in between. I don't know.

Like Heinrich or some shit. Heinrich Yahweh. I always thought God would sound more like bombastic and urban, you know, like, what's up, niggas. Like, you know, like, what's good, niggas, I'm Yahweh. What's popping? What's popping? You're all trying to get saved or what, son?

Doesn't that shit sound like commanding? What if God was like a hot braud that was. just moaning all the time. I wouldn't want to hear moaning all the time. Like that shit's not attractive all the time. Yeah. That shit's fun. That shit's like,

that shit's cool when it's cool and only in that context. When you're somebody moaning outside of that context, it's disgusting. Because I do it and it fucks with people. Oh, oh, well, God damn.

That's weird. I just moan randomly to make people upset is that it's funny because they get angry. I get it. Yeah, because that would have said. You're like perpetually 13. Yeah. You're prepared.

Yeah. I'm going to moan because it makes people angry and that's funny. Yeah. I like controlling people's emotions. You're actually just a full-blown psychopath. This is what I mean. I'm a psychopath. I'm not a psychopath.

I'm not a psychopath. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I started this episode specifically saying that you are likely worse than your persona is. And I think really honestly, any episode of this podcast really kind of makes that argument. I am not. Look.

Look. Okay. Look. let me explain to you my way of thinking okay I am fucked up because all this shit I know I use it to harm people or bother people I just like fucking what someone's life because that's just divine fuck this planet you have said uh every single word that I need to make it to edit you into saying something terrible so like what is wrong with you you're a demon you're a demon I love you talk shit about me but you're you literally just warned me that you could fucking destroy me you just warn me to blackmail me what's What's your fucking deal? I told you, though. Like, I told you. It's fine.

It doesn't make you a hero. Doesn't make you, oh, man, I fucking shot your son in the face. But I told you, so I'm a good guy. Like, that doesn't change anything. I mean, that's a lot. That's a big difference. If I knew it was happening, then I was like, all right. At least you gave me the time to prepare for this.

Look, I'm fucked up, but you are fucked up too. And don't act like you're better than me. Moving on. There was another avatar one that I, I, oh yeah. Gweezy wrote in. Hello Sween Team in the Dream Machines. Also, Gabby, if Derek isn't there, Derek is here, and Gabby is not. I don't know where Gabby is actually.

Gabby is actually. Did she go out to get food? Yeah, I think she wanted to grab some group. Uh-oh. Is she like, fucking living there or something? I mean, she's, I mean, she was here during the quarantine, so, like, there's not really a way to get back? Because none of us have cars? Yeah, what's to do with you fucking Californians?

You're officially Californians now because you've been here long enough. Don't call me that. have fucking cars. Hey, if you don't want to fucking be called California, get the fuck out of California. Don't call me a fucking California. I am a New Yorker still, right? Don't fucking call me that. Go to New York, bitch, because you've been living in New York. New York is dead right now. I'd love to. What do you mean you can't? What do you mean you can't?

It's like fucking Raccoon City over there. I'm not going back to that bitch right now. I wait to that shit clears out. I kid you not as soon as New York is like okay to go to. I swear. Whatever. What are you going to say? What are you trying to get at? Especially you, Chris. Why the fuck? Don't you have a car over here yet? What's going on? Because I just haven't really needed it enough. That's not true.

I haven't needed it enough. I imagine you probably spent enough money on fucking taxis to have like two cars. No. I don't. I think so. Maybe. I hate that logic because that shit's like it's down payment for a car definitely. Probably.

Okay. Look at it. See, I don't, I bought my car, my truck that I have for 1,500 three years ago. 1500. That's it. It's been good. I mean, it's had a couple problems, obviously, but it's still, it's been, like, well worth it. You feel me? Yeah, that's the thing. I don't, I don't need the problems. I don't need that. I have enough problems as it is. I don't need to worry about the thing. The thing that I used to primarily get around breaking down on me on a highway or, like, maintaining this thing, like it's a fucking baby that's going to break down every couple months. Oh, I got to get their fucking oil check. Oh, I got to make sure it passes to fucking inspection. Oh, I got to bring it in for. a fucking recall because everything gets a fucking recall all the time.

I'm done. I don't need that shit, but I could just get in an Uber or just walk. This is why I moved to Burbank from Glendale's because like Burbank's just like so much more walkable than... Yeah, there's a lot of stuff in... I mean, I hate Glendo. I'm glad I'm just, Glendos is the worst. That's the thing.

It's just, it's the convenience of it. Like I love... You hate the Armenians. I would prefer to have a car. I would prefer to have a car, but it's, it's expensive. The insurance is super. super high for guys in general. Yeah.

In California, it's like crazy high. I just pay $48. I want. It's not bad. I mean. For real? Yeah. That's pretty good.

Progressive, baby. Yeah, I don't know. I definitely will get a car eventually. I definitely will get a car eventually, but it's just, I don't know. It's just been, it's more of an inconvenience to go get a car than it is just to stay the way things currently are. Yeah, it's slightly inconvenient. also I've been so I've I've I've been in so many people's cars where it's like

oh let's go somewhere and then we drive somewhere in LA and then feels like half the trip is spent looking for fucking parking and you got a park in a fucking oh yeah that's that's just that's just stupid that the people that try to find parking in LA Hollywood or anything remotely in that in the in these areas I'm like what are you doing just stop stop it's just so much easier to just get in an Uber and step out and not have to worry about anything and you're right in front of that thing. I agree with that.

But when you're like commuting, which I see people do, and then I see people buy fucking Starbucks every day, I'm like, dude, do you know how much money you're spending? Like, holy fuck. That's all. I just, I trip out on that shit. That is fair. I don't leave the house much, though. And when I do, it's, it's to walk to, like, the bar that's down the street or, like,

or, like, any other. And I'm definitely not even leaving the house now, really. I know. Fair, I know. It would be kind of stupid to buy a car now. Once this is over, though, I'm definitely going to. I need something. I might get a motorcycle, honestly.

Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop.

You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said $20 billion, $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to $22, $20,000. after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is

always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. an office near you. I thought about it. You would fall over in a motorcycle so fucking fast, dude. I've been on motorcycles before. I'm not good. It's terrifying.

I might crash, but hey, you never know. You got to live life. You only get one life. You only live life once, man, you know? You gotta take life by the horns and you don't go. See, the point is since you only live once, you should fucking protect yourself. You guys are, you guys sound like a bunch of punks to me, honestly. We were just having a conversation like not that long ago about the fact that everyone,

Everybody that we know who has a motorcycle has been in some crazy fucking accident. That's very true, actually. One of our friends more than once. Yeah. We have a friend who's been under cars so many times. You know when Jalen came home bleeding? I was so confused. I was just like, why is he bleeding?

Dude, he had like a huge scar. Does he start the scar on his arm? I don't know. He was driving. He had a moped. Jalen, our other roommate, had a, had a moped for a while or something like that. Like, I forget what exactly he had. But he drove it around and, like, he came home bleeding one day.

He was like, hey, do you got any weed? He's like not somebody who smoked. At the time, he just, he was not like somebody who smoked at all. He just walked into my room bleeding, holding his arm. Do you have any weed? That's how I knew it was serious. Instead of going to the emergency room or anything, I just get some weed. I'm fine.

If you got some scrapes and bruises, you're fine. You don't need to go to emergency room. Yeah. I mean, also. You go to the emergency room and then you're fucking, then you're just completely, you're destitute. You're fucking poor man after that.

We should get back to this question because we... What was it? Where were we? I didn't even finish reading it. Oh, you never even said it. It said, Hello Sweenteam and the Dream Machines. Also, Gabby, if Derek isn't there, we already stab, well, she's not.

Which is the better of the three films, and this is a horrible, just horrible assortment. We have Dragon Ball Evolution. Oh, fuck. I knew it. Avatar the last Airbender the film. Oh, no.

Or Catwoman. I personally love all because 7-year-old me didn't know any better and is now just nostalgia. I would say Catwoman, because at least Catwoman, like, Catwoman was never good. So we were never disappointed. Like, you weren't going to go into Catwoman and be like, wow, this movie's going to be great. You kind of like, oh, this is Catwoman, I guess. And Hadley Berry's in it, she's beautiful. But, like, Avatar and Dragon Ball were just so not what anyone wanted or expected or could have expected.

Or just, it was just... It was just bad. They would be bad. Goku kicks a fly into Master Roshi's throat in that movie. Goku's in high school in that movie, bro. Yeah. It's really... Son Goku, the fucking alien.

That guy, that guy's career was destroyed. Yeah, he should have been in that movie. He should have seen that script and left. I wonder how people agree to that shit. Are they that desperate for a fucking role? Because, oh, don't you read this shit? And then do some research and be like, oh, this is not. going to be good.

Yeah. No, no, no, not at all. I mean, people, people need to work, man. Even, even some of the most famous voice actors today, like, you'd be surprised at how much they don't make. They make a lot only because, they make a lot only because they work a lot, which is why, like, Nolan North and Troy Baker are in everything, but they're not, they're not, like, rolling in it.

So, like, when you have, like, actors, so when you're actors and you're, like, you've got an opportunity to be in a Dragon Ball movie, and you're not, you're not, you're not, like, you're a no name. You know, it's almost like one of those things where it's like, it's better to be known

for something bad than just not known at all for some people. It's wild, dude. A lot of the voice actors like, the whole critical role crew, they kind of just like,

like, they're all the biggest voice actors like in the game, but a lot of them just like do critical role because they get paid so much more from it. Like Mercer isn't really

voice acting right now. Yeah. It's paid so much more from this other avenue that why would he be focusing on this and that's not going to get him that much money.

Yeah, it's crazy. Like we, Everybody used to make fun of like, I mean, I still do sometimes. The fact that like Nolan North is just everywhere and like, you see like Tom Kenny, like the voice of SpongeBob in some fucking knockoff

Kung Fu Panda movie and you're like, what the hell? Why is SpongeBob in this knockoff DreamWorks film that was funded by like some Russian company for $18? Like, what I'm like, how? $18. Jesus Christ. Like it's just, uh,

and you just kind of realize like, oh, yeah. I guess they just don't really make that. Although, I'm sure Tom Kenney's probably rolling it. Oh, dude. I mean, and he's done so much even before that, dude. He's SpongeBob. Like, how are you SpongeBob and you're not, like, absolutely?

Do you think he puts on the voice during sex? I hear better. What's your fucking deal? Because I saw this, because I saw this. I saw a video of him recently, like, as SpongeBob cursing up a storm. Dude, was that any of your recommended? Yeah. It was a mine, too.

Who was if I recommended? Because I've been watching so much SpongeBob. Definitely got to watch this. Oh yeah, I've been binging on SpongeBob on Amazon Prime. I didn't even know it was on Amazon Prime. Yeah, it's on Prime. Hell yeah, dude. I'm on Season 2 right now.

Fucking so good. It's even better than the last time I was watching it. Because there's just so much, so much going on in it that you're not going to understand when you're really fucking young. You know what I mean? It's just so much better. Yeah. Yeah. I just watched that sailor one when they had the gutter mouth when they were saying all the bad words or whatever.

And they were doing it. Oh, yeah. I would just watching it. Yeah. And in that video, they were explaining that they were actually swearing, but you'll never find those fucking recordings. I was like, fuck, I want to hear those so badly. I want to hear those. Yeah. It'd be so amazing to hear that.

Yeah. I wonder what they said. Right. Whether they were like, yeah, because like, I'm thinking they were just like basic curse words, but also like they could have easily put like slurs in there. And I'm just like, I'm so curious. I'm so... I just want to hear SpongeBob say to N-word. So bad.

I want to hear Mr. Crabs, dude. He's a really great voice actor. Do you know how I found out? I didn't even... All this time. I only found out he was Mr. Crabs because Clancy was... He was the dad in Master Effect Andromeda.

And they were like, Clancy Brown is... The dad was like, um... And he also does Mr. Crabs. I was like, the fucking guy from Shawshank Redemption. He's Mr. Crabs. It blew my fucking mind. He was also, uh, he was also Dr. Cortex in the crash games, which I had no idea. I didn't know that either.

That makes sense, actually. That's so crazy. Yeah, it's insane. I just found out, I just found out something just by, uh, actually paying attention. I, I just started, or a couple weeks ago, I started playing Dante's Inferno again. And then, um, I was playing and then I'm listening to Dante do his sound effects. And I'm like, dude, that's fucking Dracula from, uh, uh, from, from the Castlevania, the Netflix, It's Castlevania.

And I was like, that's that dude, Graham McTavish. And then... Oh, cool. And then I was like playing it when you're facing your father and I'm listening to him and I'm like, what the fuck? That's Mark Hamill. It blew my mind. I had no idea.

It's crazy the shit that you just become aware of after like a long period of time. Yeah. Of just being alive and like paying attention to all these voice actors. Yeah, I can notice Keith David anywhere anywhere now. Anywhere I know his voice. Keep David is my favorite person on the fucking planet. Yeah. anywhere. He's great. I know his voice. It's insane now.

I've actually been playing through Mass Effect 2 again because it's been so long and when you told me that they were back was compatible and I didn't realize it I was like, oh shit I'm going to jump into it again. And it's so good. It's so much better than I remember it actually. Gameplay is still a little

you know. It's not amazing. Yeah, it's a little old but like I can't even describe how much I love that game. Yeah. The gameplay was fixed, like, it was fine-tuned perfectly, in my opinion, in Mass Effect 3. Yeah. They just, they just, they, this added a little more things, a little more liberal, the combat was very smooth, and one thing is, you could run.

There was no, you didn't, you didn't, there was nothing stopping you, you're a soldier, you're trained to fucking sprint, and you're able to run. I was like, thank you. You can run in Mass Effect 2? For fucking three seconds. No, you can run for a long time. No, no. You can run for five seconds max after you boosted it.

or some shit. You put something on it. No, I... No, no. Dude, try it again. I've been playing it. I've sprinted it down hallways. I can't...

No, you're thinking about jogging while you're out of fucking combat. When you're in combat, there's a sprinting mechanism. You can only sprint for like five seconds maximum. I promise you this. For every class? As far as I'm concerned?

Because I've done... I usually do soldier, vanguard. Oh, yeah, I'm doing vanguard right now. Yeah, and... Maybe you're right. What, Church? I feel like, I feel like you're probably right, but I, I've never noticed it cut out on me because I'm very, I'm not really running that often. Yeah, I mean, I guess you don't really need to, especially if you're a vanguard.

I mean, you do the war. Dude, the warp is so much better in three. Like, it's fucking ridiculous. Like, the improvement of the warp is fucking, it's my favorite. There's no reason to play any other class because they just fine-tuned it perfectly. And then you do this other Nova smash thing Where you like smash down and then your shield You use your shield

Oh yeah Kingston Why is everybody attacking me? Leave me alone Leave me alone I'm gonna play it okay Back off yeah okay Okay back off I'm gonna do it It's been it's been 10 years since I played it And I played it again before he played it the first time

Oh my God shut up This guy's just fucking But anyway Jacking off and playing smash And you won't fucking touch Mass Effect I'll fucking jack off on your legs Shut up That's such a terrible threat

But yeah, I guess What were we talking? Oh, yeah. It's a mass effect. To mass effect and beating off of someone's legs. Okay, everything goes back to Mass Effect because it's great. I guess between Avatar,

Dragon Ball and Catwoman, I'd say probably Dragon Ball is probably the worst one. I give it to Catwoman. I'm not have to go to... I'm not, I'm sorry, I give it to... Catwoman's the best. I would say the worst is probably... You see, Dragon Ball doesn't even have

good writing in regular Dragon Ball, you know? But Avatar is such a good show I would argue that Dragon Ball Like Avatar is bad But like you could recognize that as an avatar movie Like it looks like an avatar movie

Yes that's what I agree with that Dragon Ball You wouldn't know that that was Dragon like based on Dragon Ball at all Unless you were told Or unless you knew Dragon Ball like really really well So I would say based on Based on potential or like what they did with a with a franchise Definitely Dragon Ball is the worst one

But as a movie As a movie Catwoman is just a fucking abomination I There's actually this This really viral scene like it's a famous scene that I'm pretty sure anybody Anybody anybody who's into editing at all has seen this scene.

And it's the scene where her and, where Catwoman and someone else, like, I don't know who the fuck it is. They're playing basketball in a court. And the camera cuts, I think, like, 115 times in a span of 40 seconds. And it's the most egregious editing

I've ever seen in anything. Like, even Ang Lee's Hulk movie wasn't this, wasn't edited this poorly. Like, it is edited about it. badly though. It is, but like this is so much, it hurts your eyes to look at it. Like, it's just, it's what I imagine D-Day felt like, but like for your eyes. Like, you're just being assaulted from, by like all these angles and all these visuals and none of them look good.

You're being assaulted. Jesus. God. It's not a good movie. It's really bad. So, like, from a technical aspect, from, as far as technical aspects go, I think, Catwoman's probably the worst one. Just because, like, people kind of

expected Dragon Ball to be bad. But, like, I think at the time, Catwoman didn't really need to be. Like, I feel like there's such an easy way to make Catwoman totally fine. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition

and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion. Our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.apus.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.

Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours, recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows.

So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open.

Our call center is always waiting to take your call 24 7 365 wow dan morgan from morgan and morgan america's large injury law from thanks for coming by the show thanks for having me visit for the people dot com for an office near you and they just fucked it up but like dragon ball like it's like inconceivable how you would even do that in live action same thing i'm at the i still i still like how disrespectful to me is it that they didn't even try even remotely oh my god i know look like how they are not Like, say, Chow Yong Fat is playing Master Roshi. And I'm just like, it's like they just said, hey, just, just cast some Asian guy.

Just get one of them famous Asians. And I'm like, you couldn't have found a bald, a bald old guy. How fucking hard is that? I mean, they could have also just, they could have also just made, they could have also just made him bald. They could have also just, like, because there are people who go through, like, crazy transformations and even just like people who wear, like, makeup and like. Very, very true. You know, all these, like, different things to make them, like, actually look like the characters. I don't, it's really weird to me that they just couldn't shave Chalian Fats' head or just put, like, some beard on him.

Shave his head. He's not even walking, like, Master Roshi walks. Like, there's nothing. Like, there's nothing. That looks more like my uncle Lucho than it looks like fucking. Oh, my God. Dude, fucking, King Piccolo looks like a just, he looks like a piece of shit. Like, he looks like a green piece of shit.

He looks disgusting. He looks like. He looks like an avocado, bro. He looks fucking horrible. He's the alfacado. He looks like a fucking, he looks like a pickle rick, man. Like, he's just such a disgusting animal, like that they made pickleowing to. He looks like a cosplay.

I like that, dude. I think I'm going to make that. I'm going to get that scene of, I don't know, him showing up and just saying I'm pickle rick. I'm going to fucking splice that shit together. It's kind of amazing. Like, that pickle rick meme is, like, really, weird because it was like so bad it was so terrible and then like there was a like that meme that came out like later or that resurfaced later yeah it's back about yeah like it's come back but in like

a really ironic sense that's such a terrible episode of fucking rick and morty dude it is i disagree i disagree i see i feel like i feel like the fan base ruined it when i watched the episode and um i talked to a guy my friend that doesn't go on the internet like this shit he's like a super normie. And he watched the episode. He's like, oh, that episode was fucking great. Like a lot of gory action and stuff. It was pretty fun. And I'm like, it was. And then it got turned into this weird meme thing where like I'm Piggo Rick. I feel like he said that like maybe three or four times in the entire episode. And he said it one time. I think he said it one time actually. Yeah. I mean, I never said it a couple times at least. But I feel he said it only

once, honestly. It's one of those things that like it's what are they called like the court of public opinion kind of a thing where it's like people were like oh that shit was fucking whack or i didn't oh that show was so annoying and i was like dude they didn't it wasn't i don't think it was intended to be like that i think it was intended to be a regular episode and then um well that sessuan shit just it just got kind of caught in a weird storm i feel yeah no yeah you're definitely you're probably right i think that episode was bad because they wanted it to be bad i think that was episode wasn't meant to be an episode that was like a really really good And I think they built it or like, this is going to be an episode we're going to put out.

It's going to be in a season. It's not going to be really as good as other ones, but it's going to have some cool action. No, I don't think so. I think, I think, I think, I think, back to when I saw it for the first time, I thought it was pretty funny. I thought that, I thought him killing the rats was insane. I thought that was, like, fucking goreous shit. Danny Trail was in it? Yeah, he fought the guy, right?

Season three is, like, full of, it's not really that good. The worst one, though, is like, it's not. Picklebrick's not the worst one. It's just the most annoying one because it's inescapable. But like, I don't know, it's kind of made a resurgence with that. It's like, oh, he turned himself into a pickle. Funny as shit I've ever seen. And all these, like, voice actors doing it.

It's genuinely funny. But, like, the worst episode, the worst episode is. Yeah, really, really good. You got a real good career ready. Shut up. The worst episode of that fucking show, or in that season specifically, is the Avengers one. Yeah, that's not a good episode. Oh, yeah.

We're just sort of ends with a fucking logic concert, and you're like, what? Oh, yeah, that's right. That was logic. Yeah. That was really not good. It was not the best. What's the consensus?

Are we catwoman or Dragon Ball? I'm going to go at the last airbender, actually. I'm sorry. That's true. That's such an affront to fucking love. I haven't even seen that, to be honest. I haven't seen that one. You're a smart man.

and let's see I'm going to have to go me personally I'm going to have to go with the evolution because of just I guess that's just out of it it's more out of a bias I can't even I can't even objectively think about it I can't even objectively think about it

it was just so offensive to me I agree with you based on yeah I agree with you I think it is I think Catwoman is still worse but I'm more offended by evolution What do we got? We got Gillian X.

Rode in. This has been a long debated Would you rather question with my friends? Would you rather kill one random person or kill 100 animals also random? You cannot choose which person or animal, and you must personally kill them however you want. You guys are great.

Keep it up, Abby. What? At first I thought, like, easily, 100 animals. Right? No. No. Really? I, look.

am I crazy? Well, not necessarily Because I think a lot of people would They're like, oh, I could never kill a person You know, we're people, you know, there's people like that I get that I just can't imagine Killing a hundred of anything

Like that's, I think I think after a while I would descend in a madness Derek, you've definitely killed a hundred of something Absolutely Well, okay, I've probably killed millions of ants Over my lifetime. Yeah, sure but okay fair enough

isn't it random you're gonna be like an assortment of fucking random creatures to murder and I just like look I look I don't like killing anything I just I just not my thing you know like I just it's just murder something about murder is really unattractive to me I don't know yeah you just want to

I guess I'm crazy you know yeah this is the part in the podcast where we rewind to the part where he talks about trying to crash planes but that's a hypothetical I'm not doing it It's the error. It's my wind. My wind's doing it.

I'm just making wind, bro. And things are crashing. So what you're really saying is murder is only okay if I could do it really well. Murder is only okay. Never. But. Really? That's a great moral lesson for the podcast.

I don't know. I think I would choose a, I don't know if I just, I don't know, man. I just, I could definitely kill a hundred animals. I got a bunch of fucking cute ass lambs, a bunch of cute little fucking corgis, a little baby chimpanzee. Like, I wouldn't want to do that shit. Yeah, but then the alternative is that the alternative is that like you might have to kill like some old lady. I mean, I mean, let's be, let's be real for a second, okay? Let's be real and calloused.

Okay. There's way more humans on a planet. You know, there's too many of us here. That's a fact, actually. We're very old popular. Humans are extremely overpopulated on this planet. There's more people than animals? No, there's no I'm saying.

Well, that's not what he means. There's a lot of humans on a planet. That's it. There's a lot of animals on the planet. Yeah, that's true. But the thing is that, you know, we're not really... Most animals are overpopulated, you know? Right.

But definitely humans overpopulated, you know. So I'm just saying, like... This is every possible animal, by the way. I mean, every possible animal, but definitely humans, you know? No, what I'm saying is, like, the hypothetical applies to every possible animal. You can get like fleas or like an ant or like a fish. You could also just not.

You can get a hundred tigers that were in a wild and you got to murder all of them. And it's just no more wild tigers. I guess. I hadn't considered the tiger. You know, or I think. Or fucking, or whales or fucking. Or probably people if you do animals too. You might just get people.

Oh, that's interesting. It's like a little trick almost. Yeah. See, we're not doing some gay riddles, okay? That's not what happens. Because it's not a riddle. Otherwise, otherwise she would have differentiated, right? Because you would assume that.

But you see this one you got to do to work for yourself, you know? In a math problem, they don't give you all the answers. I'll kill 100. I'll kill 100 animals. I'll fight a crocodile or like an alligator, whatever. Like, that's fine. I don't, I don't know. I'm not going to kill some fucking Disney Pixar's Coco looking ass old woman.

See, you're assuming that's what you're going to get. What if you got like, what if you got some guy that was in the act of a bow? to like, like, like, like, assault a woman or something. You know, like,

what if, what if he was about to snatch her up at night? He was putting her in a van and then that's who you get. And then you just, and then you're just like, I think I'd rather kill 100 animals and you just walk away.

Well, well, no, no, hold on, hold on, hold on, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up,

now you're making me seem like a bad person. Well, that's pretty easy, Chris. That's not a hard, that's not a hard feat. I, I, listen,

if that were to happen, I don't know the context. Exactly. You don't know the context of anything. You know. You can contextually just get a bunch of animals that are pregnant with other animals and you kill them. And you're like, oh man, they weren't finished forming yet. So you killed technically, you killed 3,000 animals. Like, no.

What if everyone was a, every animal was a baby panda? Fuck. I could probably do it. Oh, wow. Pandas, pandas are so far removed from my daily life that, like, I, I, I don't really consider them at all, like ever. I don't ever think about a panda unless I'm seeing one. You might get the adverse effect, actually,

because you assume it's so removed that you'd be seeing this creature that you saw in person for the first time. You'd be like, oh, my God. I've never noticed just how cute they actually are, you know? Maybe. Hmm. I don't know. This is a hundred baby pandas.

Holy shit, man. That's a... Maybe 100 is a lot. If I... Look, look, look, this is the thing. This is the thing. I know... I'm pretty sure right now,

as me, I wouldn't enjoy murdering animals. But the thing is that once you murder a hundred of them, like, what says you're going to not want to do that anymore? Like, oh man, I really enjoyed murdering these animals or these people, you know? I'll just say this. I could easily, like,

I've had a lot of people, like, I've seen this online a lot. It's like, vegans who are like, if you couldn't kill a chicken, then you shouldn't eat a chicken. I was like, I could easily, I could ring millions of chickens next. I could kill a chicken. I wouldn't be happy about it, I guess. I am not. I am not going to give up chickens. I'm not going to give up chicken as a food for just the uncomfortability of maybe hearing a neck twist a little bit weird. Like I'll do it. I'll do it. That's why I don't eat lamb.

Well, that's where I draw the line. I can't do that. I can, I can operate machines if I had to, you know, to like get the job done, but like personally breaking a chicken's neck or strangling them. Like that's where that's where I get a little bit too empathetic and I'm like, oh my God, I'm killing, you know. I think the thing is that killing and murdering. You're killing not to eat and sustain yourself, you know? You're not killing it or militia. You know, like, I couldn't murder something, but I could kill an animal if I needed to eat. I wouldn't feel happy about it, and I wouldn't be jumping for a joy, but I could do that.

I would fold a chicken's neck like laundry, dude. Like, it would be so easy. It would be so easy for me to just. I feel like you say that, but then it's like, man. No, no, this is. Go kick it with some chickens, man. No, this is the rare. They're kind of alien.

This is the rare occasion. This is the rare occasion where I think I'd genuine... Because I would go to my grandparents' place in Puerto Rico and they would have chickens. And I just always saw them as like, you're a food. You're a food for me. Your food. I will eat you. Like, I've never once...

I've never thought of them as like a real animal because they're so basic AI. My grandma broke a chicken's neck so easily it was hilarious. Huh? She just grabbed it and broke his neck and I was like, damn, that's wild. That was alive. few moments ago and then this old woman killed it quickly with technique. She just snapped this neck. She just ringed it and snapped it.

And I was like, I'm sorry of vegans. I'm sorry for listening to this. I'm probably like a really violent conversation. I'm really sorry. Like, look, if you don't eat animals, more power to you. That's actually, that's actually really commendable, you know? Yeah.

That is probably objectively, I'll extend an olive branch here and say that you are definitely better people probably. Yeah. As far as like morality goes. You're right. I agree. Here's the thing. Here's the thing, all right.

That's a part of life. Animal eat other animals. That's just kind of how the universe. That's how the world works. That's how it's been working. Yeah. Well, the argument isn't that, and the argument, the argument isn't that it's necessarily bad to eat animals.

The argument is that, like, we have, we have ascended as a species to the point where we kind of really don't need to. I disagree. what do you mean i don't mean i don't we can but like why that's this that's just been our engineering for thousands of years but that's what i'm saying is like we can no other animal can do that like a bear can't like plant shit you know i guess i don't know i just that whole argument is like we're built to eat and we're built for that like literally it's a part of our physiology yeah and i think we are the most part eat meat right that's why we have canine teeth you know right right but

the the argument isn't that i don't think the argument is that i think the argument is that i think the argument is more like we don't need to it's not a necessity yeah it's not a necessity and also you know animals that do that it's why vegans like animals despite the fact that animals eat other animals because they're actually doing it themselves whereas we just sort of rely on these big kind of factories that keep their animals in like really terrible conditions to do it for us understand that like for instance i don't eat lamb i refuse to eat lamb anymore because i could never kill a lamb and eat it i could i'll Oreo scoop a lamb's face right on i could i could put a fucking canyon in a whore,

a fucking cow's head. I could put a fucking, I could put a size 15 inside of fucking chicken's back. Like, I could kill them.

I could, but I could not, in my heart of hearts, kill a lamb. That's interesting. I could. Did you meet a lamb? They're so fucking nice.

They're so fucking nice, bro. But so are fucking, so are cows, man. Cows are nice, but cows are stupid. Lambs are nice and social.

Like, they play with you. Like, they walk up to you, and they play with you. So do cows, bro? Not the same way. Cows kind of see you and then keep grazing.

I don't know if you've ever been in like any agriculture, man. Like cows like get kind of crazy like dogs, dude. It's pretty crazy. If you see them not in captivity. Success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward.

Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, Our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man.

Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently. that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number.

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.

So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24 7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan.

From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. Like I'm just saying. Where have you seen a wild cow before? What the fuck? There's wild cows, really? There's, where, cows didn't start off.

Nothing started off being domesticated, man. I understand that, but like I've never seen, like, I can't even think of a cow being like a fucking. Well, it just think about it like as animals play. Animals play with each other. That's all I'm saying. Like they socialize. Like there's certain animals like sloths and koalas that are just useless. But then you have like, you know, you have a lot of animals that actually do fuck around.

They play with each other. They're very social. They get depressed. It's kind of crazy. Like I see why somebody can get really wrapped up in that stuff. Because if they start really looking into how animals live and how much like they are kind of like us just not with the higher form of consciousness, you know, what I'm saying? Yeah, I like so, I get it.

But I still don't give a fuck if somebody's shotguns, like a cow to the face to eat, you know, I don't, it's fine. You got to do what you're going to do. I'd prefer they would do it in a less brutal manner, and I prefer they'd have been much better, like, holding, you know? But so here's the question. If you, if we got to a point where we could make meat with, like, stem cells, or, like, we could clone meat reliably, would you, would you,

substitute, like, would you move to that form of meat? I absolutely would. I would. From all of the science shit I've done when it comes to, like, bio and when it comes to like, or like creating life, like, in or like sort of in like a cloning manner, it just scares me. It just gives me like a red flag. I think it's because I was a Christian growing up.

That's why it fucking just, it just, it immediately, as soon as you're like, oh, stem sounds, I'm like, oh, man, that sounds kind of warm. monkey. But it's like, I, I, to keep the animals, like, to keep the animals safe and to have them not be killed as much, I guess I would. But I'd be very, like, it'd take me a while before I would try it, you know? Like, I'd have to try it. Yeah, totally.

I'd be, like, scared. I never try anything when it's first on the fucking market. So I totally believe. Or even, or even that, like, and I'd be first on the market, like, I'd be scared to just try it. Like, even if, like, I knew people were using it for a while, I'd be like, I don't really know about this. I don't know about eating this because like from what I was taught this is kind of like

the idea is that like who taught you that cloning was that a cat was that a Christian lesson that cloning food is bad? Not cloning but like the idea of cloning has always been scientifically it's always been like science fiction wise has always been like oh clones are going to take over the world or it's always like some sort of weird stigma that's attached to cloning you know.

But it's a slab of meat. No I understand that and I get you but there's a bunch of bad stigmas attached to these things still so it still makes me uncomfortable to try it. I would try it. It would be a while probably before I fully... I'd probably be going back and forth a lot. Like, I'd probably be like, okay, I'll get the clone chicken

and then I'll have some, you know, some real chicken. But the thing about cloning, there's... I'll have to... Even now, there's no problems. I'll have to, like, really measure, like, back and forth, like, how I feel about it, and then eventually I'll... I'm sure I'd... Like, we eat chicken all the time.

You probably eat in... so much clone fucking chicken in our days. I would like, like, I would love. We have. I would love, I would love to be able to just sort of not eat any meat, morally speaking. But I have no so,

like I, I love chicken so much that I think genuinely, if chickens vanished, I think I would have so much less of a reason to live, honestly. I'd be depressed, definitely. I would love to know. That's crazy. I mean, I get it. Chicken, so, dude,

you don't even, dog. It's such a versus. I get it. It's so good. I see your color, man. I get it. Bro. You know damn more you love chicken, too.

Don't even act like you don't. Well, look, look, look. Okay. I do love chicken. However, I was actually just the other day. No, no, no. I don't fucking, I don't even fuck with steak, really. Maybe I'll have a burger every once in a while.

But I could survive off of bean and cheese burrito. Like, legit. Oh, yeah, absolutely. This is my favorite thing. It's just you make beans correctly. You throw in some cheese in there, wrapping in a nice fucking tortilla with just a little bit crispy

is my favorite thing on the planet I could live off of that No joke When here's something crazy That people are gonna hate me for I love chicken so much Like I adore chicken But you know I think I like rice more than chicken

D rice I love rice Rice like I'm a factuated Just period Like brown rice white rice White rice yellow rice red rice It's like rice in general I fucking love that

Just plain rice? What about with some spice on it or just like it? Like it could it could be like you wait, Chris you know about this. They don't have transplants like this in California. But you know when you go to like a restaurant like the Bronx and he's give you a carton of rice? Yeah. I love that shit. That should make me so happy.

Because it's just good. Yeah. Yeah. But it's not. I would never choose rice over chicken. But the thing is that I have like chicken and rice. Like the thing is that like I also have like I love very. flavorful food, but I also have this taste for bland thing sometimes, too, which is weird.

So, like, a palate cleanse it. It's like, oh, this is going to take me back. This is going to take me back to like zero. Then I can enjoy how good it is. That's why I love rice so much. I can just eat plain rice all the time. Yeah, I understand. I understand that. Because I used to like the fucking, I used to like the, uh, fucking communion wafers that they would give me a church and shit. That's right. That's fucking insane. No, they're just, it's the same principle. It's, it's just bland. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's true. That's true. I understand I'm being ignorant right now, but I got just, that's insane.

You like, you like the body of Christ, you fucking maniac, you monster. Yeah, what is that? It's Easter. We're recording on Easter. What is with the people wanting to eat Jesus and drink his blood? What is that? I don't know, man. I don't know.

I didn't get it when I was a kid either. I'm not Catholic, so I don't fucking, I'm not a mania. I mean, I'm not Catholic. I mean, Baptists do the same shit, too. They, they would, instead of giving you a wafer, they would give you just a fucking regular cracker. Yeah, same thing with a, you still get the wine or the cranberry juice, whichever. thing. We do the same freaking crazy stuff. I don't know, man. I haven't been Christian in like fucking 10 years. I don't know, man. I only went to church because after church people would

bring like faith goods. They'd bring dog. And my church after after service, they would have this lunch and a lunch would be divine, bro. Yeah. That was honestly. It would be insane because it'd be a bunch of Caribbean people because 70th vendors are mostly Caribbean and like old white people. So they bust out like the fucking like macaroni and cheese Fucking ox tail Baked chicken Stude curry chicken I'm just like yo this is so good man

That shit was cool That's probably the only thing that I miss about church Yeah I would in the morning I had to go in the morning like early as fuck Because I don't know I hated visiting my grandma because she would make us Be at church all fucking day That's black people church man

Yeah All day things The only thing to look forward to was these biscuits. I don't know if you've ever had layered biscuits. They're like flaky and you can peel them. They're so fucking ridiculously good. And that was where I discovered those.

And I was like, yeah, church is pretty cool at this part. And then the rest of it, I'd be so trying to keep myself awake. But then when the pastor would give his like sermon at the end, I loved it. Because you go to a Baptist church, man. That shit is the most. My friends would beg me when I got older. They're like, please take me. And I was like, no, dude, because you guys won't be able to hold in the laughter.

Like, I can't. Like, I can hold it in because I'm used to it. But these motherfuckers are just like, and the Lord says, and we're going to talk to the Promiseman, that. That shit is so insane, though. And then the organs wailing, wham! And then the, fuck it. It's crazy.

And then they start doing like circle pit shit, dude. It turns into a punk show. It's the crazy shit ever. It does. It does. Dude, black people church is a different breed. It's so crazy. Even Hispanic church.

Hispanic church is a different, it's a different thing too, bro. Yeah, I've never been to one. I've went to some Latin freaking, I went to some Latino freaking churches in New York City. And that shit gets wild too. But black people church is something. It's unrivaled. I've seen some of the truly best singers I've ever seen in my life at those churches. Like truly people that can sing.

my aunt my aunt can sing like a fucking angel it's insane some of the people that played instruments there it's just like these people are truly talented they're insanely talented and then they just do it for the church they suck that they're just stuck here yeah the church I went to was just like not at all anything like that it was it was exactly like how you stereotypically imagine a church it was just like some guy and he'd be like he would he would talk as if you

it was just the beginning parts of the halo theme all the time dude I always wanted to explain experience that shit. It's, it was not, it's not fun. And all that weird. I've always,

Amen. Like, I've always wanted to experience that shit. It seems so cultish. I remember it. It was like, everything would end with like, Amen,

amen, amen. It was like, what the fuck is happening? It's so scary. It's definitely some cult shit, bro. Like, I've been to Catholic church before. That shit is sketchy.

It's different. It, it's weird because it was, Like, I went to a Catholic church, but even, like, my Catholic church was like, it was never one of those, like, it wasn't like a Jesus camp, you know, something that you would see on like a, you wouldn't find a viral video of that church saying some egregious shit. It was really just the most basic, tame-ass, liberal Catholicism you've ever seen. But it was also a Catholic church, so everybody would just do the Catholic church thing. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it.

With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.apus.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365.

Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for thepeople.com for an office near you. And it was just so weird because it was all this culty, it was all this culty imagery and culty, like, aesthetics. But, like, every sermon was just, hey, just, like, treat people nice and stuff.

It was just like, what? It was so weird. I've, uh, okay, I just remember this. So when I was in seventh grade, my, um, these people that were kind of like extended family, I would go to their church in San Gabriel Valley. and it was just a cavalry chapel, the widest shit ever. There was a guy that, no joke, and I get why they made Ned Flanders look like that, because there's a guy like that at every church at those churches.

And so, yeah, he had the same haircut, the glasses, the mustache, and I'm like, what is, what is, it's fucking Flanders. And this guy was the biggest Puritan ever. He was even, we'd do these church retreats. We'd go up to one of the mountains, like Idaho or some shit. And that was the only reason why I wanted to go. go because there was some fucking hot girls they'd be in their bunk and then we'd be all in the snow and I'm like what's up and uh but the the songs and that guy he was like telling stories about

this and god was talking to him and doing this and like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like he's completely psychotic and then then he ended up with the story saying that yeah he stopped like jerking off and he just doesn't do it anymore and I was like what what is where's he going and he was like trying to like convince people like yeah don't jerk off and god listen to god when he talks to you and shit and i'm like this is like if you're not enthralled in it it's the most insane ramblings ever and uh wild dude the music was really wild awful dude like open my eyes to my heart lord you know

oh my god it was like there was one that actually kind of it kind of slapped a little bit it was like, our God is an awesome God, he reigns. That song is fire. It sounds like a musical. It was pretty, that one was pretty bombastic, man. That one track. And they brought in a fucking Christian rap group called Eternal Tribe. And I still have the cassette.

I still have, it's this purple cassette. Oh, that's so funny. It's fucking great, dude. Make yourself a crucifix tape. Get good good I actually no I'm not going to do anything I'm gonna try to whip it out though We should all guys let's let's fucking start a church Let's do this no thank you

I don't need worship let's start a Christian rock band I don't need worship I don't want that I'm I'm down no thank Actually we should do it I would not I'm fucking down I don't deserve worship Because once once I know people are praying to me I will feel it and I will ascend. I will ascend far beyond what I am now into something that is terrifying. Some, okay, so some Russian name that I cannot read for the life of me, I really, I cannot

stress enough how difficult this thing is to even look at. So apologies if this is your name, but I, this is inconceivable what I'm looking at. What is up my snark canineers? This question is for Sweeney. Okay, what's up? I was for many years in love with the Kingdom Hearts franchise. But I had mixed feelings for the third one. I still appreciate the experience it has offered me. And since I've heard you've been into it in the past, what was it that made you like the game?

Do you still, if ever, have any sentimental connection with it? Okay. Well, where do I start? Shit. Well, I initially loved Kingdom Hearts because I was a fan of Disney growing up, like most people on the planet were. I really enjoyed the implement of like the little bit more edginess of like having the final fantasy characters in there.

That didn't strike you as like horrifying and like gross. Not really. Because even the way they animated the Disney characters, they were a little more geared towards the art style of the final fantasy characters. But I know, I hate, I currently, I can't play a Kingdom Hearts game at all. It hurts me because of now that I've gotten older

and I've played many like actually good, like well-written games with like good stakes and like really good characters, those games just don't hold up at all to me anymore, which really suck. still am sentimental. Like, I love Riku. Because one of my favorite characters goes through the whole being a bad guy, a good guy, and, like, sacrifice for his friends. Like, that's a really cool character.

I love Roxas because he had, like, a good story. But, like, I couldn't play those games ever again. I, I always hated. I always hated them. Like, I think... But you hate Indian as Webish, though. Well, it's a combination of two things that I didn't really care that much about at the time, which were Disney and anime. Like, I could give less of a shit.

If it wasn't Dragon Ball, I wasn't watching it. But, yeah, like, I just, I couldn't get over it. It reminded me of like, do you guys remember the Jimmy Timmy Power Hour? Oh, shit. Who doesn't? They had this thing where they, they cross over, they did a crossover with Jimmy Dutron and the fairly odd parents. Success starts with your drive. An American Public University is here to fuel it.

With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.apus.edu.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan & Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome.

I think I saw Billboard of years recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder, and our army grows.

So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 5. 9 from your cell phone.

We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.

Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Oh, that's right. That's right. And they... It was jarring and scary. It looked pretty gross. Yeah. He looked like he was just on some heroin, bro.

He looked like... He looked like he spat meth. He looked like a fucking trailer park kid that got mutated into a fucking meth addict. Like it was just something vile. So just the trailer park kid. Yeah, yeah. No, man. I'm sorry if anybody was in a trailer park.

I think. No, man, I don't know. I just couldn't do it. Like, it was just a combination of two things that I didn't care about at all. But also just the first time I played Kingdom Hearts, a friend of mine was like trying to show it to me. He was like, hey, play Kingdom Hearts. It's so cool. It's so neat.

And I was like, okay. and he hands me the controller his first time playing Kingdom Hearts 2 this is his first time going through it and he wants me to experience what he's experiencing he hands me the controller and immediately and remember he doesn't know this because this is his first time going through it

immediately it goes to this little mermaid level oh no oh how neat little mermaid that's kind of cool I guess even though I'm like you know an eight year old boy and I don't really care that much about the little mermaid at all

It was the worst thing I've ever seen. And I think actually, like, doing some research on it, it's probably like the universally, like, it's considered the worst part of those, that series, right? It's terrible. The Little Mermaid Level where it's just this horrible stock song that they got some fucking dude in his trash can home to write. Oh my God. Like, it doesn't sound like a Disney song at all. It sounds very much like what a child would write if he was trying to write a Disney song. It was not good.

And I had to sit through this horrible musical number. And I was like, dude, this is, you're playing this? You're playing this right now. Halo 2 is out currently. And you're playing this. Are you stupid? Are you daft? And that just ruined it forever for me.

There's no going back from that. Shit happens, bro. Fair enough, fair enough. It would be like, what's a similar, like, what's the worst, what is the worst part of your favorite, or like one of your favorite games? That would be like the worst point for anybody to, The worst point for anybody to jump in to try to convince them that it's good. Definitely Gannon's Castle in Breath of the Wild.

Oh, really? That shit is not fun. It's only fun when you're good at the game. If you just end up there in the beginning, you're like, why am I getting shot by these laser statues? And I'm falling off, and now I'm in the water and I'm drowning. It's a lot going on there. It's like being plopped into the middle of death stranding.

And being like, just do it. And it's like, what? Do what? Dude, I get it. I don't know what it's doing. It makes sense. I get it. I actually was just, I just played Gears 5 for the first time because it was free on Steam.

And the second act, I was so angry because when you're playing gears, pretty much all you want is a little bit of dialect and then shoot everything. And the first act is great. I was like having a great time. And the second one is, all right, fucking, you're in this giant icy fucking place. Oh, yeah. I've ever seen that part. Go ski everywhere. And I was like, what the fuck is this?

It turned into like just like some. It kind of reminded me of, yeah. And it reminded me of like, this isn't the game that I want to play. Like I wouldn't have mind doing that for Mass Effect, for example. Oh, I need to go across here and collect stuff and do all this shit. That's cool. But for for gears, I was, I was fucking angry.

The entire second act, I was so angry. I was like, I'm barely doing anything. I'm barely killing stuff. So, you know. Yeah. It's weird because the combat encounters in the game are great. Like, I would argue the first act, the first and last actor, like, really, really good. They're really good.

And I didn't mind the open world stuff as much, but I definitely did feel like this doesn't need to be here. I enjoyed it fine enough, like, going to different places and, like, shooting people up and trying to, like, farm for, like, upgrades and shit. Like, I actually didn't mind that. It was the right amount of complexity mixed with, like, the right amount of simplicity that was, like, okay, this is kind of... It's getting my brain kind of in like the borderlandsy kind of like check things off a list kind of. I'd imagine that'd be pretty cool. Yeah, it's not bad, but it's not gears. You know?

Yeah, I think, you're right, you're right. I think my issue was that I was just trying to like blaze through the game, but I can't. Since there's all this stuff to do, I was like, I got to get the shit. It's jarring. It's jarring if, like, did you look up anything about Gears 5 before you got it? No. That's, yeah, that makes, yeah, because I was, I was, I was. reading up on it and I was like oh there were some open world levels and I was like okay

let's that's a little weird so I was like a little bit more prepared for it so it didn't bother me as much but like it definitely did feel like one of those things where it's like if they make a six one and I think they probably should yeah they have to yeah because there's honestly those games are they're still good games they're still good yeah but it's jarring that's really jarring that there's five I would have I mean it's like 18 final fantasies technically six because they had gives the word judgment but every final fantasy game is a different story though. Like it's an objectively different story. This is the same people's

for the most part. What the fuck are they going to do? So what are they going to do with this one though because they did that stupid bullshit where you have a choice at the end to control? Oh yeah. So what's the full? What's going to be canon? In my opinion, I think I know it's going to be canon

just because the reaction was kind of weird. Gears 5 is great honestly. It's really sad apparently. If it's free right now on Steam right now, yeah. That is insane. that is insane. Oh, by the time it's... Oh, yeah, it's not, yeah.

Yeah, so it's... But I think you get it through game pass anyway. Yeah, yeah, that's true. If you have... If you have ultimate game pass, yeah. Yeah, I would 100% recommend playing that game. That game's really good. I know we just sort of spoiled it.

Maybe I'll censor some stuff. Maybe. I mean, yeah, yeah, that's true. But it's actually pretty good. I had a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun playing it. I'm playing it on the hardest setting right now. Just, well, it's probably going to disest.

appear in a few hours, but it's, uh, they don't have Iron Man, the Iron Man anymore where you just die and then you're fucked. They don't have that. Oh yeah. I want to try it, but they don't have it. At least at least on this version they don't. They have that in Doom, which is like, I'm never going to do that.

That's just so crazy. If you, if you die, you start over, you literally game over. Like, actually start the game over again, like I got stuff in the beginning. That's, I do. That shit. It teaches you to get really good at the game. but also, fuck that. I would lose my shit.

I would lose my shit. I would lose my mind. I like it as an option. It's like the Halo games had like legendary all skulls on where you just put all the difficulty modifiers on in addition to the legendary and that would make mythic difficulty

and it was just like beyond stupid. Imagine you're playing a fighting game like an arcade fighter and you lose a match and you got to start from the beginning. That'd be horrible. That's the ultimate rage quit. That'd be horrible. I'd be like, what the fuck do you mean?

And I would try it. more time. I'm like, I can get past that part. And then eventually I just end up losing my shit and never playing it again. Dude, there was one game that they, uh, Street Fighter Alpha 3 was ported. It seemed like when they, when it was on PlayStation, I feel like it was, it felt like an arcade port because it was so hard for the last two levels. It, it didn't make sense because I, I can whip, I can whip Alpha 2, Alpha, Alpha, any other,

any other one. It didn't matter. But Alpha 3 for some reason. you fight the ninth person and then you fight bison and I can only imagine if you only had one shot I feel like almost nobody would beat it

because you know the AI can whip you at any given moment if it wants to if it wants to it can block everything and encounter everything and that was the we might have even talked about

because we might have talked about rage quitting that was the game that I rage quitted multiple times because of how much bullshit bison was it was bison's stupid

But I'm just stupid in every game he's in. He's just the fucking worst. I don't know why they made him like a fat asshole in the Alpha series though. Speaking of... He just got really fat. Speaking of video games, we got a final question here. So let's hear it. Caleb Rocco wrote in.

Hey, dardy cunts. Was there... Was there... Or I'll correct this. Were there any games you found difficult as a kid slash young adult? But then next time playing through it as an adult, it was absolutely piss easy. Also high from Western Australia.

Yeah. You know a game was really hard as a kid that I can play as an adult now like a fucking wizard? Uh, Sunshine. What? Oh, Mario Sunshine was really hard for me when I was little. Now I can play that game in my sleep probably. Mario Sunshine has, Mario Sunshine has a part that is still impossible. It was really cool.

There's like a water slide part that's like really fucking... Every slide in any Nintendo game is stupid. Yes. That one's egregious, though. I think, um, I've kind of found the opposite, honestly. Same, same. Like, there are games that, like, I beat as a kid, like, destroyed. And I don't know how the fuck I did it.

The Mega Man games are that for me. 100% agree. Every Mega Man game was so easy when I was little. I finished, I remember I finished Ninja Guidon on my NES. I have the file. All right, I had the file before my fucking NES exploded. And I was like, I guess it was, like, the only game that I had. Because I must have just played it incessantly.

and I can tell you right now there's no way in hell I'm doing that again like I'm just not gonna do it I don't even remember I don't even have the memory of doing it

and it still seems like just egregiously ridiculous to do it again those games are hard man the stupid hard old video games were just brutal man they're just built to hurt your feelings

yeah I would sign that way for fucking arcades dude fucking commando contra games like that Mega Man. I had Mega Man.

The first Mega Man game I had was Mega Man 4, unfortunately. I didn't get two. Two is a bitch, man. Dude, I... It was brutal. Yeah, yeah, it is. But those games, I would whip their asses.

And I don't... Even Mario games, I remember having just a blast playing, like, Super Mario 3, Mario 2, any of those. And then when I tried playing them recently, like, say maybe the past couple of years or something, I just keep falling in fucking holes. I just keep fucking up. I don't understand. I don't understand. I had the technique.

I had to, I could land on the edge of this platform and be fine. I can't do that shit anymore. I'm like, I should be better now. Yeah, it's wild. I am definitely worse at Halo now than I used to be,

and that breaks my fucking heart. That just shatters me. That's something happen with me in Smash. I'm starting to hit my decline. I think I have to play a lot more. I used to fucking sweep, dude. I still sweep, but it's like,

it's definitely not, like I can feel it. Like, I used to get perfections kind of... Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion,

our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APUS.edu.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365.

Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, and thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. Regularly. Like, not like super, like, not like every week or anything,

but it was at least like a couple times a year. I would get a perfection. Now it's like, I can't even remember the last time. That's why, like, actually, we were playing destiny recently, weren't we? And like, I almost, I almost didn't die the entire game. And I died once and it ruined my fucking day. Like, I was in such a bad mood after that because I was like, that was giving me my first perfection in fucking years.

I don't know how you do that. It sucks. I don't know how you play a fighting game and like are fighting or a shooter and you don't get hit or die. Like that's insane. I mean, it used to be, it's insane. I've used to be pretty. I've seen people get perfections in fighting games and I'm like, how did you get perfect rounds? Like flawless victories entirely?

That's impressive. How did you do that? He didn't hit you once. You weren't just pressing buttons one time and got hit. That's insane. That's more important. impressive to me than not dying because like to not get hit at all is insane that that is it's an insane feat that's something I'd never be able to achieve when I was younger though and this is the theory

that I have of having more time to sink since you didn't have to worry about adulting you had more your brain could pay more attention to this shit and you didn't have to worry about anything and it wasn't really drifting off because I remember I got heavily into Tekken like Tekin 3 for example and then I kind of skipped four. But I would go to the practice, and I would put it on the hardest setting, and I would practice for hours. And then I would also, there was a mode you can put it on to where it would block everything. So then I would have to figure out how to break its block.

Like, say, if I could somehow make it just slip up a little bit. And doing that really helped me beat people because I was able to just find these, Little things, little frame differences. I was actually really paying attention to the shit. I don't give a fuck about that stuff anymore. So now I'm so bad if I go online and like say when I first started playing MK11, like, what was it? That should come out in 2019 or 2018? I don't even remember.

2019, I think. But when I started, yeah, yeah, the early 2019, I started playing that shit and I was streaming it. And I'm like, how am I getting, some people were whooping me so bad. I just don't understand. I'm like, I feel like I'm doing. the blocking or whatever and it's just not working. Like I feel like my brain is just deteriorating.

I feel like about smash, man. I felt that about smash it. I played smash yesterday. I was really good at that game once in a time. I took like two months off and I played online. Now there was definitely a fuck ton of lag

but I just wasn't playing right and I was like this feels disgusting. Like I'm better than this. Like I felt like I was watching myself play and I was just like, you're doing terrible dude. Like what? This isn't you?

You're a golden god. Yeah, it's really, golden god. It's really frustrating. Yeah, it's definitely infuriating. Every time a new Halo game comes out, and now I just think about like, damn, will I be good at it? Like, if I'm not good at it, that sucks.

I've been consistently good at all of them at least. Yeah, you have. So like, so like when something, but it's always the possibility of just like, oh, maybe it just won't carry it this time. And that fucking scares me. That's a dark thought. I kind of just gave up, to me honest. If I'm not good at a street fighter game

or a smash bros game, I'll kill myself. I would give up, but I'm, like, really competitive as far as, like, FPS goes. Like, it's just, like, the one thing where it's, like, I can compete here, and it's... It's cool. I don't know. Like, I'm good at this. Yeah. I just feel good when I, like, be...

Like, say, I never... I kind of forgot that I never finished secado. So, I was like, oh, yeah, I should do that. And so, when that's complete, that's when I... I just feel good about that. because those are those things that are fucking ridiculous those fucking from software those games are so stupid

they're so dumb they're insidious they design them they're built to hurt you designed to piss you off how yeah absolutely but once you're done though you're like oh fuck yeah like I that show is I can't believe I beat that I like that feeling that that's pretty good but uh it's it's but I can't get that satisfaction

off of a multiplayer because I just what what you should happens to me is usually there's somebody that like I want to best and then you can you know be in the same lobby but then sometimes you can just lose them immediately and never see them again like say if you're playing against some people like if you're doing some matches or whatever they might just leave or whatever the cases and I'm like no I want to like I want to overcome this person that's really been killing me or you know what I'm saying it gets me really annoyed that I a lot of times I can't

just completely have vengeance you know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, I hate that. I hate that. I haven't we're back out of lobbyists. That shit blows my mind, man. That's in a lot of single player games, too, with leaderboards and stuff. Like, I always, like, I always pay attention to that shit. Like, with Beat Sabre, I get fucking annoyed if I see somebody that I know above me, and I'm like, oh, fuck off. Like, if I'm playing you in Smash and you beat me because of some bullshit, like, oh, I lag and I can't get my recovery off and you leave the thing. I'm like, yo, you're a bitch. You're a bitch. Come back and fight me. Come to my house and fight me. Come to my house on my couch and fight me. How about that?

Play me here's a deal My house and fight me But I'm also overly competitive I get way too heated when I play video games Look at I haven't played I just want to say this I haven't played smashed in 64 So

I'm gonna I am going to sink A hundred hours into Into this new one I'm gonna buy the switch again I'm gonna I'm gonna sink like all this ridiculous hours And I'm gonna look up like the best shit And I'm gonna compete with you I'm gonna see if I can whip your ass

And just just just force you to or drive you insane. I think that would be a really good thing. I am good at Smash Bros. on a casual level. I'm not good on a, I'm not competitively good. I'm not to play the game.

But if you still beat me after never playing a series, I would be upset. Because Chris beats me sometimes and I get fucking furious. I get so angry. Most because he plays at Snake and that shit makes me anger.

Snake doesn't belong there. But that's a different argument for a different day. Okay. All right. Well, that's all. the questions we had.

We're at about an hour and 50 minutes, so I think now's a good time to wrap things up. Wrap it up. Thanks, everybody for listening. If you like what you heard today, consider supporting us on patreon.com slash the snark tank. $1 a month gets you early access,

$5 gets you a question read on the show, and $10 gets you a producer credit and your name dyslexically read at the end of the show, although we will be changing that in the next week or two, where $10 will give you access to a Discord, and a Discord for the podcast And I think 15 will get the name

Right at the end of the show Just to keep things simple And yeah So let's do that now Double O Dolphin Two-toned T-posing toddlers Tonguey Fart Box forcefully Good Lord Jesus Christ

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Chris, please eat something, we're all worried. Christopher Midling. Colonel Colin, the colonel collapsing kingpin. Cooper Lorraine. Crescent Slice. Cyborg. Damian Watson. Daniel Ortiz.

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Unrestrained Libido Sunny Chance Sweeney Tom The Ethnic Barber of Yeats Street Sweeney's Magic Weine Sweeney the Kauaiw Steetsrip Kema Teon

Tarkon the Hippadrake Tharja IBW The Boneless one The Cosmic Hippi The Progirian Hunter The Invisible Skeptic The Job is Dick Toby Shootman, Tom Sweeney's Wakand sex slave Theotomous Prime

Triple Question Mark Troy, Umborman, Very Good Well Mrs. Lincoln, other than that, how did you enjoy the play? Oh my God Wesley Hill, White Tom Sweeney, Winnie, Yassleen Clemens Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, Come Inside My Tummy, Good Christ Almighty, what is wrong with you people? Zach Seagworth and Zachary Daniel Bradshaw

Yeah, and that was that. That was all the names. Wow, we did that so well. It's almost like I did it off screen and edited it into the podcast. That's wild. Oh, amazing. Before we get out of here, I want to let everybody know, I am actually taking a venture into streaming now. Yeah. Yeah. So Sweeney is streaming.

Yes. I do that. It's Tom Sweeney 1278. Yeah, he put, he puts. On what? What do you stream? On Twitch. On Twitch.

On Twitch. Thank you. It's that. Wait, so it's, what is it? Thank you. So what is it? Tom Sweeney 1278 on Twitch, you know, stop by, hang out with your boy. I'll be doing it every other day.

You know, just come. What's coming out with me? I want to ask you this, Derek. What's that? Because it frustrates me, and I wonder if it frustrates you. He very clearly has an opportunity to pick a name that doesn't have numbers in it, and yet he chooses. I like deliberately. I like the numbers.

I like the numbers. Dude, I gave him, I made him a fucking Twitter. Like, the first Twitter I made him, it was Tom Sweeney Vivo. And it looked great. It looked like super official. And then all of a sudden, he changed. it to just what is it super swine 12 it's just it's like having it would be madness I like I like the fact that it's insane I like it's cookie it's so bad for branding bro yeah you're just

gonna fail miserably like all whatever everything you do you will fail if you have name like that I'm just telling you I'm just I gave you I listen I helped you it's your choice to dismantle all the help that I've given you but uh Yeah, so that's a thing. Check out his fucking Twitch account, which, what is it again? 1278. Tom Sweeney, 1278. Jesus Christ.

I'm going to change as soon as I can. I just can't right now. They won't let me, they won't let me, they won't let me change it. So I can't change it. No, they don't. They don't let you change it. But, so, yeah, so that's happening. I have some merch samples headed over, headed over my way.

So there will be, there will be merch soon as long as, as long as, as long as, as these prints come out okay. So that's a thing that you can look forward to. I think what we'll do is people who pay $10 and up also will just put those designs on the Patreon in case, you know, money's tight, you know, whatever. Like you can have just the designs and you can print them on shirts if you want. As long as you're still supporting us, you still get access to that shit. Gotcha for sure.

I think that's kind of a fun idea. That's fair. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah, and it's fair because those people are paying, obviously. So, yeah, so the merch is coming soon. Shipping might be a little bit weird with, you know, the world collapsing. Everything going to walkie.

So just keep that in mind. Probably not the best time to start merch, but like whatever. Fuck it. So yeah, that's going to happen. And yeah, once again, it's Patreon.com slash a snark tank for more of this. And we'll see you guys next time. Click and collect. Order confirmed.

Dad, tomorrow can we start a band? Can we become robots? Affirmative. Can we go crab battling? That isn't a thing. How about swimming? Dad, can we take an app? You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal.

Deal. While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials. Book your free click and collect slot at tesco.e or in-app. Tesco, every little helps. Terms and conditions apply. Tick-Tac knows the day can be long. So here's some nice words to give you a little refresh. Tranquility.

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