The Snark Tank - #173: Crazy Old Joe

Episode Date: September 20, 2023

The Snark Tank boys are running for president

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It's too existential. Welcome. Welcome. They had a moral combat fight in Icarly. They did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When Freddie tore Gibby's larynx out. Yeah.

And shoved it up his anus. That was pretty fucking crazy. Freddie picked up Gibby and he said verbatim Obama and he killed him. And he killed him. One of my favorite, one of my favorite, one of my favorite Icarly related stories is that, you know, the stuntman who, the stuntman who fell and smashed all of his ribs. Did you see that? Wait, that was a stunt method? That was actually Gibby.

Does that happen? No, no, no. You think Givie would do? No, so there was a stuntman for Gibby. There was a scene where they're all leaving the apartment or something. And they're like, Givie, are you coming? And then you just hear Ghibi scream, Ghibi! And then a man falls the entire, like, easily like 20 feet down onto the fucking floor.

It's a stuntman and he smashes all, he broke all of his ribs. and they use the shot in this show. Used it? They still used it. I remember that. I mean, I guess he better use it, I guess. He was,

because he was going to land on Sam. He was going on Sam for some reason. He wasn't supposed to land on Sam. No, it was supposed to be what it was. They forgot the timing. And they were like, oh, we forgot about Gibby.

It wasn't belly flop. I remember the bit. It's like, um. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah. He belly flopped. I get the bit. And the sound it made was insane.

I was like. yeah it was very clearly that guy was hurt like in a in a myriad of ways so i mean they got the shot dude it's a dude i no wait hold i have to show it i have to show this to you because you are going to fucking you are going to die give me stuntman knowing the context is great the guy fucking fucked himself up he probably collapsed his lungs

too because he probably is his fucking ribs like pierced his lungs and shit oh dude easily easily uh so here it is Here's this. Here's this clip. You guys can look up. It's called Gibby Falls from Sealing. It's at, it's at around,

it's at 10 seconds in the video. So you just fast forward to it. Dude, it's fucking crazy. The way he hits the ground is wild. He's like, yo. It is so impactful.

Like he reverbs. Like he kind of almost, if he wanted to, then he got to stood straight up if he wanted to. If he had enough extra energy to do that. Oh, no. You can even see him writhing a little bit.

Dude. That's what's... He fell so far. It's like a good... That's like a good 10 to 10 to 15 feet, man. That he's falling from. He bounced on concrete. That is...

Well, it wasn't... So it was... It was like a softer surface. It was like a softer surface that was put there for stunt purposes, but it wasn't soft enough. It was like, you know what it reminds you of? It reminds you of the...

Not the ball pit. Oh my God. At TwitchCon. That's crazy. Yeah. Which, that's what I'm saying. Broke her spine,

bro. That's the crazy thing ever. A little bit of whatever they put on it. That's not enough. That's not going to absorb a fall from, it's barely going to absorb a fall from three feet. Yeah, 100%.

Yeah. The fact that he splashed up a little bit is crazy. That's incredible, like, that his bones literally. That's a real showman right. His organs, that's a true showman. His organs, like, actually stretched, and when they came back, gave him a little bit of force to bounce.

Yeah. Poor bastard. Speaking of people, people hitting the floor too hard. So we were talking, Chris was telling me about how bad the voice acting of Megan Fox was in the new Mortal Kombat. In the new Mortal Kombat. Mortal Kombat. I didn't notice it was that bad. It was that bad.

was that terrible, but for anyone That is crazy to me that you didn't... You mean 11. You mean 11. The voice acting of Rhonda Rousey was so bad. Like, so... I think this is just as bad. Genuinely, is it worse? Yeah, but that's...

Because I heard her... I saw her trailer and I thought this is like, whatever. And it's because Mortal Kombat had... No, no, not the trailer, man. Always... I haven't played... You didn't see... You didn't see in-game, did you?

Did you see, like, one of the clips that is circulating around? because it's the same thing for Rhonda. Rhonda has a lot of lines in MK11 that are fine that are just like, oh, this is fine. It's not great, but it's fine. Every interaction she had. But then there are clips that were circulating around.

Like, there's the scene where they're forced the cage fight. And then one of the lines that she delivers saying something like, you're going to kill us whether we fight or not, it is the worst deliberate. You're going to kill us whether we fight or not. And everyone's like, wait. The lines? They used that line.

So right after that, you know when her and Casey, her and her, her Johnny and Cassie are leaving and she's about to fight Cano for the eighth time when she fights a younger cano. He's like, come here. Let's get this over with. And I was just like,

this is so bad. What makes it funny is they have that. Then they also have Keith David has spawned in that game whose voice is a mac. Yeah. It's like, they have a lot of it.

I mean, it's like this mix. It's like this mix of amateur. it's it's like they mix up amateurs with like fucking brilliant voice actors and it's and it becomes even more jarring for the amateurs. It's like holy shit.

So many like who like listen to a this in the chat. Luke Hank is really good. Listen to the chat. So does freaking what you call it. Yeah. Kingston. Click the link in the chat so you can hear

you can get the context because you got to hear this just as bad as Ronda Rousey. It's actually I think Technically it's worse because nobody likes Megan Fox. That's kind of like the, there's like a vibe that particularly because she's dating MGK and people are like, see, now he's absorbing it. He's just absorb it. Yeah, yeah.

That we feed on blood does it make us evil? It's like, yo, dude. And somebody said, because I quote tweeted this and just as confused as everybody else. and somebody replied this morning saying maybe Ed Boone wants this, maybe he likes this. And I hadn't really considered that because I'm like, it's possible. There is no other reason when you have, when he's surrounded by brilliant voice actors all the way from, really, MK, when they rebooted it from NK9, the voice acting was fine. X, 11, great, except for Ronda Rousey. Like, everybody has done well except for that Ronda Rouse and like, what the fuck's going on with this?

and then you have Megan Fox My theory now that that that person said that, it's good to Stallone is Stallone Stallone's actually He didn't deliver his lines well man But Stallone actually I still liked it. I think he did his Rambo lines

Exactly how his Ramble line should be I think it just records Rambo lines again This is a stupid This is shit of Rambo again But that's just my opinion See I'm a fan of the Rambo franchise He's not some fucking elegant speaker delivering these beautiful

soliloquies. That's not what he does in Rambo. If you want to hear good... Fair is fair. It wasn't as bad as that. I'll give you that without a doubt. I don't think it's bad at all. I think he did exactly what he was supposed to do. Just like Jean-Claude Van Damme being the version of Johnny Cage, because

if you got, if people don't know about Mortal Combat, the original game was supposed to be a Van Dam game, but John Clown Van Dam would not sign off on it because like, who the hell are these guys? There's like fucking these three kids that are trying to make a game about me not a big studio piss off. So then they just made Johnny Cage

who was based off of him in Bloodsport. And so finally, 30 years later, they finally got him in the game so he's delivering the lines. And he sounds like... What a bag miss. What a bag invasion? Oh, yeah.

It's like... I feel like the same way about a... About a good job. Will Smith and Swift... Will Smith turning down the Matrix? Yeah. Like crazy. The Matrix was...

It's very popular, but that's not any... insane bag. Like that is a bag he missed. You know how popular, a modal combat will be? No, no, no,

Kingston, I don't think you have any, I don't think you have any concept of how important the Matrix is. Yeah. No, no, the Matrix is single-handedly

responsible. Legacy. Without the Matrix, you would not have, I'm not even joking when I say this. I really think Cyberpunk 2077

wouldn't exist without the Matrix. It's way older than a matrix. But, but, no, no, no, you don't understand. You don't get what I'm

fucking saying. Exactly. Keanu Reeves, Keanu Reeves would be nothing without the fuck. I'm sorry. He would be fucking nothing without the Matrix.

It's insane. Silber Punk was already a star. Imagine what it would have done for him. Right, right. Cyberpunk, I understand the table top exists.

I understand the table top exists for a long time. That's what I'm saying. But like fucking crazy how important. Like it is, his life would be so different. If he just,

if he took the matrix, he would have just stayed in Marshall. And he passed it up for what. That's what it would happen. He would just kept doing martial arts movies. I would have found out. Didn't he, didn't he pass up, um, oh my God, what was it? He passed up the Matrix for, was it, was it for Wild West West?

For Giant Spider. Oh, fuck, for the Giant Spider movie. Because Wild Wild West seen a box office hit than that did to him, which is fair. Fair. Which is not fair. I thought, I thought it would have. Westerns were not popping at that time at all. I thought, I mean, I could see how he could have done it, but like, oh, I'm already in a Volvo

than this, whatever. But like, I don't even, like, I don't even think what the fit as in all fairness. His thought, he just thought it was the safe movie. Like, well, it's, see, that's just, that's just not being able to see because Neo, Neo as, uh, at Keanu Reeves is so well established. It's hard to picture anybody else. But Will Smith at that time was killing it. I imagine it would have worked.

I imagine it would have worked, but it just would be different. Like, Neo would not be this kind of subtle guy as much as like, because, you know, Keanu Reeves is a very subtle guy. But as much as, like, say, I could picture somebody else playing doctor, whatever the fuck his name is,

and I am legend, but at the same time, you know what I'm saying? Like, I could, it could be done in a different universe, but it's just hard to picture since it's already there. I just,

if I will Smith, though, it's still, because he made a video about this on YouTube. Like, I hate that all these fucking celebrities got on YouTube

and started being like, oh, me, yeah, it's fucking annoying. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, I don't exist anymore, really, though,

but it was happening. Like 2017 is when it started like really happening. They started encroaching. Yeah. And they kind of fell off a little bit. They'll have these fucking like plaques and shit. I'm like, fucking Kevin James.

Kevin James, the King of Queens himself had like a sketch comedy channel or something. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. And to be, to be fair to him. No, no.

Well, yeah, Jack Black, I'll allow. Like I remember Jack Black was like, I'll let, we'll let him pass. He's such a weirdo.

He was just cool. Everybody likes it. Jblinski or what? still doing the same thing. Yeah. But he's cool. So he made Camp Rock. He made Cool School Rock.

Kevin James, he had, to be fair to him, he had this one series of sketches that he would do that was actually pretty, it was actually not bad. Not necessarily because of him, but because of like the editing that was involved where he would play, he would play the sound guy in, like, very famous movie scenes. And they would be shot really, really well because they would be shot like in the same style as like the movies that they were in. and like they would color grade it perfectly and like cleverly edited. I was like, this is not bad, but it's very bizarre.

It's a very bizarre day. I was like, why is Kevin James making, making fucking sketch comedy like fucking sugar pine seven? This is really bizarre. Like it's bored. Yeah,

just bored people with millions of dollars. Yeah, right? If I was him, I would just hop on the Adam Sandler fucking train. Because Adam Sandler's just making like 10,000 movies on Netflix. It's weird to me that Kevin James and Adam Sandler never work together because they seem like they you know what I mean they seem like they seem

incredibly adjacent aren't they aren't they in grownups? As far as I know wait maybe they have I don't know I'm sure they have something together I'm assuming but I can't think of anything off the top of the head oh was he in grownups I never saw grownups to be fair no because I think oh I guess I guess they are for some reason they don't seem like they weren't together at all they were in Chuck and Larry weren't they that's right Chuck and Larry I totally forgot about Chuck and Larry. Yeah fair enough yeah How many movies?

How many movies? It's probably just those three. The grownups, both grown-ups movies and... I don't even... There's three grown-ups movies? Did you see any of them? I didn't see it.

There's definitely two. I saw zero of those movies. Yeah, I saw the first movie. I saw none of them. So it's Kevin James, Chris Rock, right? David Spade and Adam Sandler? And there's someone else. Was Adam Sandler?

Like, I just don't even... I think so, yeah. Yeah, there's Sandler movies for sure because it's... And every time I think of grown-ups, I think of that one movie where those... Wild Hogs. I don't know why. Something about that move. The guy with the bus light year. I don't know if they came out around the same time or something.

I forgot his name. Chris Rock was like you. Tim Allen? Tim Allen? Oh yeah. Well, because I had a, uh, geez. What's his name? What's his name?

Oh, Sandy. I want to fuck your ass. What's his name? Come on. Oh, Fonzi. No, no, no. Oh, geez. Travolta.

Thank you. They're the same fucking person, though. Yeah. They're fucking basic. Fonzie and John Travolta. Like, Greece and, him in Greece. Yeah, him and Greece and Fonzie of the same fucking, oh, did you, um, I don't know what happened. I don't know the context, but I saw, uh, Henry Winkler responding to a fake story of, um, of Hassan, uh, of having sex with Tucker Carlson.

What? Yeah. So there's like some fake thing. What are you talking about? There was like some fake video circulating on Twitter of like Tucker Carlson, like, talking about how he had sex with, uh, Hassan Piker. And it's like some, I guess, and then for some reason, Henley Winkler, Fonzie responded to it. And I forgot to get the context because I was driving.

I was driving and I was listening to someone, what the fuck I was listening to? And I was like, I have to follow up on this. I was like, what is it? Yeah, yeah. So it's somewhere on Twitter, which I forgot to look into it. Oh, so I see. You found it? Yeah, it's something.

Like some Twitter account called Call to Activision question. If we were given some interesting information about Tucker Carlson, should we release it? And it's a picture of Tucker Carlson next to Hassan. And Henry Rinkler says yes. Why? That is so weird. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because I guess I think in that call to activism within that thread, there's like this video that's going into detail about them like smashing or something.

That is so ridiculous. That's just a lie. If you scroll on it, if you scroll on the replies. There's this blown up picture of a son with his like nipple and hairy chest and like, Tucker's like talking about him and shit. That's just not the truth. And the people are like eating it up.

He's just selling a lie. I love fucking Fonzie's like, hey, yeah. There's a conspiracy of Tucker Carlson. It got exposed after, you know, Tucker. finally exposed Obama for being gay as shit. Oh yeah, that's right.

I totally forgot about that. You guys saw that, right? Yeah, Tucker Carlson interviewed some guy who claims that he had sex with Obama in 1999. Did you know that this guy has gone on campaigns for years saying this shit, though? This is the one thing I didn't know.

Does that make you really gay? People started looking into him. Shut up. He's talking. What are you saying? Yeah. What? Like, does that make you...

I don't know what's going on? If you fucked somebody, like, let's say you're as old as Obama is, right? Shut up. No, it doesn't. What does he? I want to know the content. I want to know the context.

I want to know the context of like, wait, I didn't know that he went on like a press tour for years. Yeah, so he's, there's like, there's footage of him throughout the years trying to sell this story. You can find time lapse footage of him getting older as he's telling him about, as he's telling random strangers about how Obama fucked him in 1999. To fucking I'm blue.

deba-de-deba die. Hell, yeah. That's fucking crazy. Pretty much everybody, the consensus is Obama can do better. That's pretty much the consensus. They're like, I don't believe this.

Seriously. They're not taking it seriously. How? Well, first of all, yeah, that's the kind of thing that I was thinking. I was like, I could,

look, I could believe that Obama fucked some random guy in 1999. But do I believe that Obama fucked this guy in 1999? I just, I don't believe it. I don't know, man.

How was Obama? I don't know. I was like, I was like, uh, 24 years ago I don't know like 30 something I don't know

39 maybe Obama age what I don't know how old how old is he now yeah I couldn't even I have no idea I never care I barely cared when he was president you know yeah

he's 602 he's way older than I thought holy shit oh okay 62 so it was literally 49 49 did you see Romney did you see that video of Romney being like we should really step down

like we shouldn't have old people in government. You see that? He's the only sensible one, bro. It's crazy. He's like the only one. He's the old school monster. Like I miss the old school monsters because they're just they're just monsters but

they're subtle about it. They're supposed to be like politicians, their job is to be monsters but to be subtle is to pass monstrous policies but pretend be a like respectable in public and not go too far. And then there's post-Trump where no. No one gives a fuck where you have a Lauren Bobert that could get elected. And she is, I mean, her rap sheet, first of all, she didn't graduate high school. Awesome.

Her husband, her husband, who she's now separated from, but like her husband, then husband, then husband, exposed himself in front of a bunch of kids at a bowling alley. Oh, sick. I don't know if he did that specifically to them, but he took his dick out because he's a fucking to dinner it. So now whoever Lauren Bobbard's dating, we're just going to fast forward. Whoever Lauren Bobber's dating, they went on a date to the Beatles Juice. I've heard good things about Beetlejuice right now, the play.

And so they went, she's drunk as shit, being loud, vaping. She's fucking vaping. And then there's a pregnant woman sitting behind her like, hey, could you please not vape? I'm fucking pregnant. And she just doesn't care. She starts taking. don't this is the funniest part not because you know you're you're not supposed to take footage of

the thing right usually people bring they want to take pictures or footage and they're like don't do that she didn't even wasn't even interested in that she wanted to take selfies so she started with the flash on taking selfies of herself and i'm like what do you even you're not even there's just people behind you i don't even understand what you're doing so then of course they they uh the ushers were like hey uh get get the fuck out of here get the fuck out of here get the out of here now and then she started being like don't you know who i am and started flipping them off and shit i'm Lauren bobite it's dude anybody I don't even know who this person is who is brother she's just is or like do you know who um marjorie taylor green is oh yeah yeah

or uh Matt gates they're just this new wave of the worst people possible um getting into congress like Jess. They're being They're being voted in because they're Really didn't Yeah I wasn't fucking

She's an office She's an office rep In what you call it In Florida Of course Of course Of course In Florida

You don't have to finish High school To become a fucking office Rep Of course We should we should run For a We should run for office in Florida

And just like We thought about We could We could fucking trounce All we have to do Is just say retard And slurs And then we would

Like It's like for real Like we would just We would just win That is how these people are winning now That's so crazy They're promising They're running on a campaign

On promising to hurt the libs That's it That's it That's it Yeah She's five feet tall Yeah I mean

It's She's four feet tall She's like a Mexican alien Yeah Yeah yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

I still I've been thinking about Getting some cake Because that shit in general do that that Mexican alien all right it's it's a different it's a different

we're in a different mode that I feel like at a certain point we're gonna have to pump the brakes and then change some shit you know like I don't know because of I think a lot of people were just awakened to oh

Trump Trump can Trump can go to prison still be president like that just doesn't but you but you can't vote if you're a prisoner if you if you are a felon you can't vote but you can be present

to become president. Somebody makes it make it sense. That is one of the most insane things I think I've ever become cognizant of. Yeah. Like that that was a real thing. It's like that's lunacy to the max. But I don't know, man, we got to get these Mexican aliens down. We have to wake them, we have to wake him up somehow, maybe put some water on them, rehydrate them.

Get them back. So maybe, uh, make him, have them teach us a thing or two. You know what's so funny about these aliens? Did you, uh, did you guys see? Did you see, wait, before you, before you, you, before you, you, You see that picture I sent you of of radio heads, the bends with the Mexican alien?

No, what? I said it to you, I said it to your, like, in a text message to you specifically because I thought you would be the only person that I know that would appreciate it. Oh, it fucking, it failed. It failed to sin. Oh, it did?

Yeah, while we were, it didn't go through. Oh, dude. It is, it's so fucking good. Yeah, send it again because it, it just said failed to send and then I forgot to mention it. I'll send it on Twitter because that would

probably, it'd probably be more reliable. But this picture this picture fucking killed me when I saw it because I was just like, oh my God. It's just the Mexican alien but like it's radio heads the bends and it's like it's so perfect.

Like if you know the original album cover it's fucking it is it's so fucking perfect that I can't I can't get over it there we go

oh yeah yeah yeah that's fucking yeah that is I'm gonna tweet I'm gonna tweet I'm gonna tweet it out right now actually that is fucking that is sick as fuck I'm gonna tweet it out right now

it's too it's too fucking good I don't know where I got this I like a friend of mine said it to me with no context so it's probably a stolen meme but whatever yeah if nobody tagged it then they wanted to be shared around

that's what I think that's kind of how I feel about it some people will give me shit about that it's like you stole this video and it's like, it was sent to me and I thought it was funny. Right, I'm sorry. I'm not going to steal like a 10-minute video from someone, all right? Don't worry.

It's like, don't make little off it. Like, nobody's- Like, nobody's claiming it. Yeah, I'm not making money on it. And you're not claiming it as yours. Like, that's the thing. Like, I feel like, it's just stupid people because I feel like it's pretty obvious. It's one reason why I like the Simpsons shipposts community because we don't use watermarks.

And it's the point is just to share it. So. The point is proliferation. Yeah. Yeah. And it's a, great like nobody's no one bitches that's crazy that is great that is very yeah it's fucking very accurate it's exactly it's so perfect but uh it makes me live every time we see it so um yeah

i don't know man so we're we're in the since we're in the realm of politics already uh i mean so there's there's a lot of stuff going on with Biden um Biden so the first thing i want to talk about because it's like the most, it's brief and we can move on to the impeachment stuff that that's been circulating. But, uh, dude, there's a clip of him at like some Vietnam, I don't know, Congress or some, I don't know what the fuck he's there for. It's like some kind of speech that he's giving in Vietnam or for Vietnam or something, right? And he just goes up to the mic and says, I don't know about you, but I'm going to go to bed. and along with other just like rambly tangents and it's like dude between this Mitch McConnell breaking down twice fucking Diane Feinstein's face slowly melting in one direction

I we we why look I don't know what the fuck Biden did as far as like what the reason for impeachment is you know what I mean like I'm sure it's all some stupid shit about Hunter Biden's laptop as if it matters yeah or some fucking nonsense about that but like dude for real, get these guys out of here. Like for it. I don't even care if it's a good reason. Get these fucking people out. They're too old. Get them out. Dude, I wish, what was I said?

I feel like we were, we had a solution. Oh, no, we had a solution for Mitch. We didn't have a solution for Biden because the solution for Mitch was while he was in his seizure. We were going to put him in pronouns and rainbow suspenders and stuff and then he'd get beaten up. For Biden, how would we get rid of money? How would we get rid of Biden? Just lead him somewhere. Just leave him somewhere.

Just leave him. No, but see, I feel like he'll eventually, he'll find his way back eventually, even though he's not cognizant of where he's going. Build him. He's like a bath in a house. Build him a, build him like a big swimming pool. You know, so he can sit next to it and reminisce about corn pop. Yeah, but I remember corn pop. And then he just goes on for fucking seven years.

He just keeps talking about it. He used to pat my little leg hairs down in the pool. He used to pat him down. I used to suffocate him with my, with my airs. He used to blow big fart bubbles in the pool and eat them. And bottom. And bottom. And bottom.

Look, bow. Dude, if, honestly, dude, if Biden was senile in a way, in the same way that Dracula flow, is I I would be so I would be the biggest fan of Biden in the world man If Biden went on stage No no but you know what I mean

You know what I mean like if he if If Biden went on like a press conference Or like went up to a podium in front of a national convention and said I'm biting the fart bubbles in the bath I'm flipping bricks for Monsamusa like fucking holy shit This is the best person If he started getting aggressive too like he started a year yelling that on stage and like people were like scared him like i think i think if i just i don't know man

i'm smoking that arizona rattlekush i'm smoking simbriots out here bro we smoking we smoking dude we smoking symbiotes everybody everybody who's listening to this episode you'd owe it to yourself to look up dracula flow it is so unhinged i it is my it's my be my favorite video on the internet right now. That's just some kid putting some shit on their grandpa's heading by my grandpa just talk. And he's just getting quality content from it. He's definitely right.

It's just so, it's just the, it's so stupid but so worldly. Like there's no reason why you should know like Monsamusa at all. Yeah, especially that guy. There's no reason. Especially that guy.

It has no. business. It's like, it's so stupid in like an educated way. I love it. But so who's he hanging out with that's telling him that shit? I don't know, man. The guy recording it from the, from the left. Yeah, I guess so, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Man, I, uh, I, I'm so the, look, look, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit conflicted because politics have been incredibly boring as of late. Biden has not been freaking out as much as I'd like to.

I think that he started, you know, doing things to fix his, you know, to prevent his slipping further into senility because it, when we, when he was running, there was so much material. There was, honestly.

And I'm like, what the hell happened? He seems like he's, he's stable. Like, it's not like, it's not progressing and it's been years later. And it's kind of upsetting me. it's uh like even like there there's these impeachment inquiries it's just based on his son and like oh maybe he's tied to it or something let's look into it further and it's they got nothing and like they

they got nothing and i'm like bro come on guys it's so crazy finds you you're telling me this guy that's been around for decades you can't find anything on him that's juicy dude dude dude you know what it is it's it's again it's it's right thing wrong reasons again yeah like the like when they stormed the capital for the fucking stupidest reason as opposed to like the thousand other rational reasons to storm the fucking capital. Same thing. It's like, let's impeach Biden. Why?

His son's dick. And it's his son's penis is fucking a chonker. His son's penis is smoking crack. We got to, I would love. How about the basic fact that he is clearly too old to be there? How about fucking that? I just wish we were all just reasonable enough to understand that that alone is a good enough reason. Like sincerely, like, what

like, you have the person who is in charge of making military decisions. And he's like, I'm gonna go, I don't know about you, I'm gonna go to bed. He's in the middle of a indefensive Pol Pot speech. And then he's like, you know what, never mind, I'm tired. I'm going to bed. Literally. Literally. You know what's crazy. And he walked away from that

Medal of Honor ceremony recently too in the middle of that fucking Medal of Honor ceremony. I'm like, he saw a butterfly. He just wandered away. And it's like, bro, it's not even a matter of like whether or not this is like offensive or whatever or like, whether or not he's being like kind Like, oh, okay, it might be, like, offensive to the guy who got the Medal of Honor. Who cares?

The point is, this dude is almost completely unaware of where he is. Get him out of there. Now, he's fine, bro. That's your reason. That should be your reason. Because I feel like if that was your reason, if the conservatives were like, hey, we should impeach Biden because he's clearly fucking senile and losing his fucking mind. And he's, like, a fucking drowger. Yeah, he's unfit.

Absolutely. And then I feel like, even, I feel like, even, I feel like. like even a lot of Democrats would be like, yeah, probably. Yeah. You know what I mean? Well, see, the problem is because the only, I think you would say that. I think you would say that. I think you would say that. I think I would say that. I would say that. I don't think

a lot of Democrats to say that. I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I don't think so. I just wonder if they would do that because of the implications, because then there's a lot of other people that that would probably have to go as well. Oh, yeah. Feinstein and the fire sale would start. And, obviously, and probably. like 20, at least

20% of people in Congress because I think most people in Congress are above 60. And then then you have the ones that are so fucking crazy. Yeah, it's like the majority. What's the young? We should do We should eat.

Who's the youngest? Yeah. Oh, I think it's somebody in their 30s, I think. Yeah, I don't remember. But you could look it up. It's probably there. But we should hack into their. We should hack into their life alerts. You'll be an awesome prank if what you did was like you snuck into every congressperson's

house and then you replace their life alerts with one of those like shock, the hand shock things. Yeah. Oh, God damn it. Oh. Oh. There's a 34 year old. 34. This is it.

This is the big one. 34. 34. They just go away. 34? They have a bunch of 34 year olds. Yeah. But they're drastically, the issue is that the 33-year-olds are like,

they don't have a lot of power in comparison to the people who've been there for fucking generations. Guys, I am 35 years old. I can run for president. I can do it. Let's run. Let's all run. That's all, I mean, I can literally do it. Let's all, because between the three of us were really old.

So we should all run. I wonder if there must, that would be so fucking fascinating. If there was like some, if there was some insane legal loophole where. like let's all run let's all change our name to the same name run under the same name yeah and then just use our cumulative age to be like you're old enough that's and then just well it's like dude we talk you guys in a trench coat we talk to a lawyer it's probably something just like you can be president and be a fucking prisoner i'm sure there's some type of loophole where it'll work yeah we just yeah we'll just we'll stand in a trench coat on top of each other's shoulders we'll be obscenely tall yeah and

We'll run for president. Bro, we'd be like... This person in Senate is Maxwell Frost. He was born January 1997. He is 26 years old. Yeah, I know that guy. That's a black guy, right? Yeah, he's black, you know.

And it's insane. He's a kid. He's 26. That's insane. I mean, I mean, if you're compared to, like, Mitch or someone, he's a kid, but I ain't a kid. Yeah. That's a young guy. That's a young...

Like, even in general, Derek, you were seven when he was born, bro. That's a young dude. And you're not an old person at all. I was nine, sir. You were nine? Yeah. I was born, 80. Are you 36?

I'm 35. Yeah, he's 27. So you were like, you were seven. Yeah, but he's probably having a birthday coming up. That's true. Yeah, that's true. He's young. This doesn't matter.

Yeah, but anyway, it's, it's, I just don't think, like, I feel like our minds are warped and you're saying that that's young, I'd say, that's appropriate. I would say that's appropriate because you have gone through many years of college at that point. I think you're ready to take on the world now around that age.

And so that's a good time for you to get in the office and not be a thousand years old. That's a tight, yeah. That's perfectly appropriate. I would feel like you a little older will be better,

but like better. I just know. I think that's stupid. I disagree. Like why would you. It's like me saying older is really matter. It's just arbitrary.

Dude, I would say fucking younger, man. Get some 22 year olds in there. I don't give a shoe. We need so. We need so. We need some young that's young.

Why not 22? I think post 25. Why not? Why not? Because 22 you don't know who the fuck you are yet exactly. Oh, really? Does Mitch McConnell know who the fuck he is? Chris, I understand. I understand.

I understand. It does matter. Who cares? It just also sounds like, no, I don't think. No, no, no, I disagree. I think get a fucking. Honestly, dude, my honest opinion, my honest opinion, get a fucking 17 year old in there. I don't care.

I don't agree with that. If you have people who are 80, if you have people who are 87, right? People who are fucking 87 who don't know where the fuck they are And they're making like massive decisions that impact people who are going to live through that shit They're gonna die before that shit's even a problem for them Why not get a fucking 17 year old? Who cares? Oh, the brain's not done maturing.

Have you met recent fucking old people? As if like they're any better for fucking being old? I 100% agree with you and the fact that there are people that are seen now that should not be in office. Give me your reasoning for age gating. I want to know your reasons. I just think that like 20. 25 is a fine age, you know? Why?

Like, give me a reason. Give me a reason. You're usually done with college. You have had at least some exposure to the real world in paying taxes, doing less things. Now, that's not every 25 year old. Obviously, it's ebbs and flows, of course. But if I was a very safe age to start introducing you into, like, politics and stuff like that. You can introduce you into someone that's going to severely affect politics.

That's my opinion. That's my opinion. I just think, I just think, I just think age is a little less. really turned on. I just think age is a little less important and I just want to know the substance of what people are actually going to do. I think that's really the most important thing. Like the youth right now are very into.

Hold on. With age genuinely comes wisdom though. Hold on. Hold on. I think wisdom doesn't mean shit when you're trying to make policy about saving the fucking world or the people within it because the world's going to be fine. I don't think, I don't think. No, no, no.

Let's see, look it. Look at, look it. A fucking 16 year old does not need wisdom in world lived experience to know that we're are going to be fucked on this planet in a few hundred years. They don't need, they don't need wisdom for this. A few decades. A few decades are going to be in a really fucking place.

But look. A few decades, things are going to be weird, that's for sure. But I'm saying, like, maybe in a couple hundred years, we'd be gone.

And, like, what I mean, like, there's already irreversible damage going on. All I'm saying is you don't have to be an old and wise. You don't have to be my age to know that to where all I want is somebody who is passionate and who is actually going to do it. And hey, here's the thing.

Just like any other job, if you don't do what you say, you're fucking fired. It's as simple as that. Like any job that we have, you work at fucking McDonald's and you don't fucking take care of the customers, you know, you're like, I'm not going to ring them up. I'm going to take a nap. I agree. I agree. I agree.

I 100% agree that, like, there are 100% plenty of young people in the planet that are probably, like, there's maybe like 15, 16, 17-year-olds on this planet that if honestly, they got into Senate and like, you get removed. bunch of old motherfuckers, they would get shit done or you'd be like, yo, this is impressive these are children. Yeah, it would be infinitely better.

I just think that what's a call a certain age how about a compromise? I feel like a certain age threshold should be acknowledged on both sides. Like I think once you're like 60

you need to get the fuck out of office, period. You are a relic. I agree. You're a relic, you should not be there anymore. How about a compromise? Look, if you're old enough to destroy your brain

with alcohol, I think you should be old enough to fucking be a part of the government. Another arbitrary age game. as well. I understand. I agree. 100%. You know, like alcohol, marijuana. If you're old enough to do that. If you can rent the car, you should be able to

go in the Senate. There you go. Yeah. So, 25. That's, which is, that one's way more arbitrary. The 25 that's exactly. That's also arbitrage. All of these things are very arbitrary. It's way crazy. You can poison yourself with alcohol before you get rid of car.

Dude, you could, you could conscript yourself into the fucking military before you can drink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can blow it. You could blow your face off. You could hold, you could throw, you could throw, you could throw a Vietnamese kid in a fridge, lock him in there and kick it down this fucking mountain legally. But you can't fucking have a beer afterwards. It's fucking so crazy.

You can't drink that pain away afterwards. It's insane. I don't know. I think that age does matter a lot. I think it does matter any decision making. I think depending on the context. But I do think it is not as important as some people give it credits to. I just

Like somebody who's Like someone who's like A little leader of like War or combat or something Certain things that I do want wisdom I want experience Because they can think of things That a person that hasn't had experience

You know they can think of more scenarios And stuff They can better help navigate Certain situations and stuff I understand like experience But if if we're just talking about like See a lot of these people That are just supposed to be

Representing the populace I don't need experience from them I just need them to do what the people want. You wouldn't, but you wouldn't want, you would, like, think it like, no, because their job, their job is to represent. They're supposed to represent us. Right, exactly. Exactly. Their job is to represent.

They don't, they don't need to have fucking any experience, any wisdom at all. All they need to do is look at what their fucking constituents want. They have to look at like, oh, what do the people want. But it's not that. It's not that simple. We've all seen. It is literally that simple. It should be.

It should be, but it's not. It's really not that simple. That's what we're getting at. Everything we're talking about right now. now is what should be done how it should be like a person that's like a person that's like um let's say like a person that's like 20 23 years old right still lives at home but is a part of a part of a progressive movement about the housing market right and um trying to uh alter property taxes throughout a state if the motherfucker's never lived in the house outside of his own how the fuck is he

gonna really understand that it doesn't matter talk about it's supposed to represent what people are asking of him he can talk about it hey he can bring it up and I agree. He can potentially be very right. He potentially be very right about it, too. I agree with that as well. I don't think you understand how the job works, man. It's they say, here's the majority. They want this. You get it done. So then that information is passing along to you. So I want you guys to regulate or hey, I want you to regulate gas. This person may not know exactly how to do it. He will get into position to make the meetings, to get to the people that know how to do it, have the meetings to make it happen. It's like, as he has, he has, he has, this is the representative to make it happen. So they, they meet with the fucking BP oil and the whatever the fuck. They, they make these meetings and stuff.

And they bring people, like lawyers, who is their job to negotiate and make sure nothing is fucking screwy. Like, a lot, like, say,

like, it's like the presidents. They have advisors around them, right? They're supposed to be the voice of the people, but then they have smart motherfuckers doing shit around them and advising them. Okay. I understand the argument.

There's also, there's also the aspect, there's also something that I think comes into play and that's just like the general desire to like I think once you're once you pass a certain age I do think there's like a fire that's kind of gone and I do think like there's there are people who are like like for real like I just think like you like you lose passion over time and like dude if I would if I had a if I had any influence over government at like 19 I would have got a lot of shit done man I would have got a lot of shit done because I was super fucking super invested super angry very, very, like, passionate about it. Now I don't really give a shit. Now the whole world can burn for all I give a shit. Like, fuck, fuck all of you, quite frankly. You actually got to, you're right about that because I remember being in my early 20s.

I remember being in my early 20s. I don't, dude, I would be, I would be, I, I, you still care. And maybe Bernie Sanders still cares, but like, you think the majority of those people fucking care. Like, the overall majority of people lose steam as they go on. And that's normal and natural. But, like, fucking dude, that's why I say, like, honestly, like, the younger, the better, sincerely.

Get them in there fucking 21. These motherfuckers are fired up, dude. Yeah, fire them. They're so fucking, and I remember that. I remember having that energy. And like, you know, that's, that's useful. I've been, I went to, I used, when I was younger, I went to picket lines. I went to, I went to, I went to, I did, I would, like, oh, here's this, this environmental

movie we're going to watch at this film festival and we're going to talk about things that we can do in solutions and shit. And I interviewed this one fucking nerd that was ahead of it and stuff. Like I would listen to a lot of conscious hip hop And I was like really ingrained and like Oh, I want to help change things I want to get cops, hold them accountable Like when some bum got beaten up a city over for me And now where I'm at in 35

All that stuff still bothers me But I'm like, I don't want to do anything I don't want to do it I don't want to do it Now extend that to the people Extend that to government officials Who are like, man that sucks And they're like 50

They're like 60 They're 70, they're 80 You think they're fucking, you think they care, bro? I don't even know that group existed. What's a Guatemalan? What the fuck is that? I thought that was a fruit. I did everything right.

I did everything right and they indicted me. I saw, I saw this police officer, hit this woman on the street. I said, what a shame. I walk back home. I cry. One big tear. One big tear. And that's it.

That's all they're doing. I get it. It gets harder to, you know, care. Because, you know, you like, you have, your own things that become more precious. You get your family. That's just a fact. I think you,

that's a fact. I don't think that's true. Yes, you do. You do. I think it's generally true. But you do. It could be,

it could be generally true, but I don't think it's, I don't think it's true universally. I have become way more left leading as, as time has gone on. No, no, no,

no. And so it's funny. Conservative. Because Colin is not a fucking, uh, way about your family and who you care about. Like, not so much,

politically. That's not what that means. Met like you become more like I don't care about my tight-knit group Everybody else I wish you guys the best Sorry but I got kids I got a wife I got a girlfriend I got really close friends

That's not really conservative though That's just like self-preservation That's like I guess Conservative Conservative is a word that works for it I mean I guess I'm politically conservative Technically politically conservative I would say

You do look after more of you and your own You do look after more of you and your own But I don't think that's like It is more But yeah, at the end of the day, if we wanted to be, because a lot of people, maybe they'll get offended, but it is selfish at the end of the day. It's like when we talk about billionaires of people with a lot of money, by default, them, their inaction is immoral just by inaction. And they would be like offended by hearing that. But when you have just a massive amount of wealth that you know that could help fix most of the major problems in the world and you don't do anything about it,

Why are we printing all this money and devalue in the dollar? Why are we printing all this money? It's like, oh, geez, I wonder if that has anything to do with all this money that was already printed. That's just chilling in offshore accounts collecting fucking dust and not doing anything. Oh, man, I wonder if that, I wonder if billions of dollars, billions, billions, billions of dollars, chilling in offshore accounts, not trickling back into economy, has something to do with that. It's really crazy. I've noticed it's about...

Astounding. Like, um... I hate it, man. Like, the idea of web. and what it is what it is done to people and groups like like like I've I've been to I go to barbershops whatever I go to barbershops obviously have like the big chats and conversations like the like the black experience of the barbershop right sure and hearing them completely some of them completely alienate like morality for the idea of what money means is so horrible and sad

it's just like it's like you're like Kanye West is a rich man he knows who he's talking about I was like, rich does not mean smart at all. Rich just means. Oh, yeah, no, not at all. That's all it means. But to them, it's like, this guy's rich, this guy's wealthy. He's doing good at this life. He's going to know what he's talking about.

Because our world has been brainwashing the thinking that for so many years. It's also so weird because, like, I don't know, that crowd tends to talk down to like, like, like, rich. It's just, it's selective, I guess. You know what I mean? It used to once upon the time. No, no, they do still. They do still. Like, it's like, look at all these fucking rich Hollywood actors fucking like, oh, they're

fucking rich. What do they know about the fucking? And then they go to Elon Musk. He's like, oh, he's so rich. He must know a lot. I think maybe that group. Yes, maybe that group. When it comes to like, that's what I'm talking about.

That's what I'm talking about specifically. Like, anyway. Artists in general, we give artists too much credence of them being like intelligent. It's like, no, you can be talented. Artists are talented. Not intelligent. Even when it comes down to our level, the type of stuff that I've heard people say about me, for instance. And I immediately push back and I'm like, guy, I have,

memorized a handful of things but that does not make me smart like that does not make me because I've been here oh you're really you're really fucking I'm like no I just I've read more than I'd say

that bothered the hell out of it that would bother the hell out of me when people would come up to us at like VidCon or something and and talk about that stuff where they would be like oh man you're so intelligent

and it's like it's not it's literally not intelligence at all what it is is just basic I really do feel like it's just a basic intuition or like maybe just common sense, really, you know, because it's like it should be, it should be obvious. You don't need to be educated to know that somebody who doesn't know where they are the majority of the time shouldn't be running the country. You know what I mean? Or you don't have to be educated to feel like, oh, maybe 80 year old shouldn't be making policy decisions that are not going to affect them at all and are only going to affect people who live afterwards. Like, that's not, there's nothing about that that that needs a degree. at all. You're right, right? You guys are right, but what happened is that those people got that knowledge from you, so they inherently think you're intelligent because most teachers and like, teachers are not, like, not of them are not very intelligent, but obviously they're teaching us so we think they're smart. You know, not to discredit teachers, but like a lot of teachers are probably, like, unless they're like grade school teachers, I don't probably not like super, super smart people. They understand the curriculum of how to teach younger children. My generation, there's a lot of teachers. I know a handful of teachers now and they're not smart people. They're just capable. Knowing how to teach is a skill set in of its own. It doesn't necessarily mean.

Arguably the most important skill set period ever. Oh, yeah. I can't. Teachers are the most important jobs ever. Dude, I can't teach anyone. I don't understand how to teach. I remember when I was younger, like my nephew came up to me. He was like, hey, can you teach me how to play guitar?

I was like, I have no idea how to do. even slightly. And it seems easy, I guess, because it's just like, but I would just be like, uh, and I remember being like, no. Yeah.

I've turned down a lot of, I've turned down a lot of people that have wanted me to teach them guitar or drums, but only because I'll be honest with them. And I would hope that they understand that it's not that I'm trying to be lazy or brush them off. It's that legitimately the way that I learned the drums and guitar, I would tell them it was mostly,

I have this thing. That is, it's like some people that are great at drawing. They can, like, I can only trace. I can't fucking see something, a picture and draw it like damn near perfect. But then my friend Ed is a fucking God drawing. Me, when it comes to music, I have this, like, perfect pitch thing that it was easy for me to absorb things. And there's so much about music that I don't know. Lots of chords, the most basic shit that you should go to school for or, like, take a class for.

I don't know most of that stuff. So I can't teach somebody. That's no way. There's no way you don't know basic chords. I know how to play most chords, but if you were like, tell me the name of this chord, I don't know most of them. You serious? That's pretty insane. I picked shit up.

So how I learned how to play guitar was just hearing shit and then being like, all right, and then figuring it out. And then I was playing guitar for like a couple of months with my friend Moises. And then I started to learn the basics with them. And I was like, ah, this is gay. I don't care. Because it was basically me going, it was me going backwards, which what I should do. I really should learn the basics. Like,

I'm the same way. I'm the same, I know the basic chords, but there's some chords that I found with like, like, I don't know, like suspended sevenths or whatever. Like, you know what I mean?

Like, where like the weird sounding chords where it's like, I know how to play them. I know where to put them. I have no idea what the fuck that's called. Right.

I don't know what that chord is. I know all the basic of piano. Like I learned all of the basics and that's all I was able to get down back. I remember the was like a classic piano player. So she's like, you got to learn how this works. I know A through G

and some of the, minors. If you... The minors are way harder than they need to be to do. Even those things that you tell me, like, I forgot. So we can, I can sit down with you and then as soon as you play and say that's A, then I'm like, okay, yeah, I know that. I just didn't know it was A.

I just, that, for whatever reason, my brain doesn't want to retain that memory because it's like, I get it. And I was mostly trained in, not trained, that's the wrong. There's no training. I mostly played metal. And that was a huge thing that I skipped over, like, playing basic stuff. I went to metal.

I went to down tuning, which kind of fucked me, where there's so many songs that I play down tuned and I play it differently than another person would play in a standard tuning. So I tell people,

like, I can't teach you on the drums. I told, how I played the drums, I told people, I watched music videos and I just watched people drum. And then I just did air drumming until I got a drum and got on them.

That's how I played it. To me, it's kind of like, I don't know, it's like trying to introduce people to video games who have never played them you know where it's like I don't know I don't know where to start you really like I have an idea of where to start you

like but I also don't know if that's I have no idea if that's the best way because I don't know what it's like to learn how to play video games I've been playing video games since I was a fucking child since before like my earliest memories are literally like tech and stuff you know so like I don't know what it's like to have to learn that for me it's different right like guitar

I'm a cable teacher I was teacher assistant a few times. For me, if you don't want to learn, I don't want to teach you. That is my instant thing, right? Like, I've taught people how to play like Dungeons Dragons and D&D and shit like that, right? And for people, instead of like, you have to learn how to do something so I don't have to tell you how to do it all the time so you can do it yourself. That is the most important thing about learning stuff in general. You have to figure it out, hey, I don't really know how to do this.

When people are like, how do you do this, just tell me how to do it. I'm like, I'm not teaching you anything else anymore. I'm done. I'm done talking to you or teaching you how to do this. I feel you. I hate it. And it bothers with that stuff. Like for me,

when I would learn how to do something, it's like, like when I was little and I was learning to cook for my grandma, I didn't want my grandma to keep cooking. I wanted to deliver it myself. I was like, grandma,

how do you do this and this? How do you season a chicken? How do you clean a chicken? And she taught me I do it. Now I can do it myself. Other people is that just give me the answer and that blows, that makes me feel crazy when I see that happen.

I'm like, what do you mean? So you have the ability to be able to, You pass? You want to pass based on me. But why do you think, I want to see if we're, because why do you, why do you, why do you, let me, I guess let me phrase it this way. Do you get like maybe a hit of, uh, uh, dopamine? Do you feel better when you fucking like conquered something, you learn something? You figure something on your own. Do you actually, do you feel better? Because like, I do. And when I, when I, like recently, right? Recently, I had, um, I went back to college, right?

And I recently had to do a math class. That was all of college mathematics. From algebra, you would take in high school, we're getting algebra, you take it like at then high school, all the way to calculus two. I had to learn that in one summer, and I did it. And I feel really proud of myself that I did that. There was a hard fucking class.

And if I missed one day, I'd have to, like, do a bunch extra backup work. And I had COVID, like, twice during the time it happened. Like, it was really difficult. And I learned it. And now I have it. Now I have that skill set of my own. I don't. I can do that. That made me feel good doing that shit.

Yeah. That means like, oh, I achieved that. I know I can do this. That's, I always try to communicate that to people when they want the quick, even like say memory that I've retained in my brain,

but it's been pushed all the way back. Sometimes I, I'd be like, don't, don't tell me the answer. If you know it, let me work it out. Let me figure it out.

Let me, because then once I remember the answer, once I, you know, it feels so much better like, oh, good. I didn't have to just rely on Google or what have you. It feels nice when you.

when you even like you can work things out in your own or even like say a problem solving a problem but not have to immediately go to somebody figuring something out of your own it feels fucking moving the gears it feels good it feels good it feels really good like oh good

my brain isn't completely fucked it's not like when you're listening wait right like when you go when you fuck up that first time you can't curl something you go back and you do it right it is the same kind of endorphins so you're like oh my god I can do this now this is something I'm capable of doing but I feel like some people don't have the

that fucking everybody knows that video games if you played a fucking from software game from software when you not everybody go for those games though very apparently here's the thing though this is so I think I've always known this but there was a guy I think his

name's like Matt Smith or I don't fucking know but he's a neuro neurologist is that right I don't know I'll do some research it doesn't matter but a neuroscientist anyway it doesn't matter but he went on Joe Rogan's podcast

Years ago for Joe Logan just went completely insane. And he was just talking about sleep. Long story short, he was talking about, like, have you ever noticed, like, there's a thing called sleeping on a problem? Sleep on issue, you wake up, and then you're able to do that thing better than when you went to sleep. And it's because your brain is working the problem out as you're sleeping. So when it comes to playing something, I've noticed this video games and music. I've noticed when I'd be trying to learn how to play a riff or something, I'd be getting frustrated, and I'd wake up the next day, and I can play it way easy. year. Same thing with the video game if I was getting my ass handed to me and my brain

works some shit out to help me conquer it while I'm sleeping and I wake up and I whip its ass and it's something that I was I noticed but I was never truly cognizant of because I didn't pay attention to it but when he said that I was like that's fucking phenomenal when you think about that that how I just and I like that feeling and I don't ever want to be robbed of that so when people are always trying to have shortcuts not fully work something out and stuff They're robbed of that feeling of just like, damn, I fucking killed it. It's, I don't know how the fuck we got here at all. I have no idea how we got here.

It don't matter. Yeah, it don't matter. Yeah, it don't matter. We should get to some, should we get to some, uh... Oh yeah, let's fucking crush some questions. Some of these, uh, some of these questions, huh? All right, let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see. What is, Jesus Christ, there's so many.

There's so many questions now. Are you? Uh... All right. Hayden's Spring wrote it and he's like, hello, respectable gentleman. What out-of-pocket nonsense would make Insomniac Spider-Man 2 better or worse? I vote a dedicated slur button or making it so you have to play as Mary Jane the whole game. I was so disappointed, by the way, because I saw some gameplay of Spider-Man 2,

and immediately they brought those fucking puzzles. Like those puzzles are back in. No. The fucking little... The little spider robot. Do you remember those little spider robots? I totally forgot about those. I wiped them out of my memory,

but there's like those sections with like the little spider robot that's like jumping around indoors and fuck I... You can't you? I don't know, man. I don't know. Or can you skip them after you beat the game? Maybe he's about to beat the game. Yeah, it's after you beat the game.

You can skip them. But it's like, fuck, man. Like what? If you, if you... The, the, issue that I have with that, right, is like, if you're going to give somebody the option to skip them after they beat the game, that kind of intrinsically, that that kind of indicates that you know as a developer that no one wants to really do this. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like, it's fucking bizarre that that's back. I'm excited for it. It still looks, it looks really cool. I'm excited to play Spider-Man too, obviously, but, like, genuinely, that's such a step back from Miles Morales, in my opinion. Miles Marius had none of that, and it was way, way better of just a gameplay experience. I forgot that it's a PS5. Oh, sorry, go ahead. What?

All the bullshit was cut out of it. It was a streamlined Spider-Man game in the best way, which I really enjoyed. So because of just inflating the time, is that, like, why that shit's back? It's inflating. I don't know. Like, oh. The argument is usually like, well, it's for pacing because you don't want to be Spider-Man the whole time, and it's like, yes, I do. Yes, I do.

I'm playing a Spider-Man game. If I didn't want to play, tell you what, if I got to the point where I was getting bored of being Spider-Man and a Spider-Man game, you know what I do? I fucking turn the game off and play something else. I don't fucking go like, oh, thank God, I'm Mary Jane now. Yeah. What the fuck?

That's a good point. I mean, I definitely, I personally, I'm weird. I'm weird at an engine. I don't want to be Peter. I like Spider-Man for being Peter Parker and Spider-Man. The same thing with Miles being both Miles and Spider-Man. I want some of their, like, their human character. I think that's what helps them be our social,

such great, you know, characters. I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that in cutscenes, though. You know what I mean? Like, I don't need that to be. Walking around and talking to people is fine too, but like, to me it's like the whole, like, I didn't mind being Peter and like walking around like the, what is it, the feast shelter, the homeless shelter and talking to people.

Like, I didn't mind that at all. Or like Miles at the parade, you know, or not at the parade. The, what was it? The fair or whatever? Like, I don't mind that. Yeah. it's when you're Mary Jane and you're sneaking around

or like when you're a fucking tiny robot or when you're doing like fucking match puzzles it's like this isn't I don't need this at all when marriage I got to taste I was able to tase those motherfuckers bro I felt powerful finally

I just feel like Mary Jane I just feel like Mary Jane shouldn't be involved with Spider-Man stuff to the degree that she is yeah I'm not a family to do that you're four you're six decades too late man

I know I know I know I understand I just I don't like that she's, I don't know, her being a journalist just sort of feels like, I like like it just feels like, I don't like how it feels like a really hamfisted, it just feels like a really hamfisted way to get her involved in, in Spider-Man's life more than, like, I feel like Mary Jane's life is, is, is, it should be Peter and she should, she should, she should have her own thing that isn't just being like a tool for being, for, for like helping Peter out. Like, I don't think it really

serves her well. I don't think it's like interesting at all. I, I, I, I, I, it's just lowest lane. They turn her into lowest lane. Yeah. For me, I think the only reason why she's like, I don't like MJ. I've never really been a big fan of Mary Jane Watson ever. I've always been kind of like Peter can do better than you. Even though she's fine, like Peter can do better than you. He's fucking, he's hanging out with like Carol Danvers and Black Widow and fucking rogue and storming.

Like he can get some powerful pussy, bro. Like, water, you're just an attractive girl from Queens who dyes her hair red. Like you're not on his level. anymore, I'm sorry. But their love story is like so intrinsic to the, like I'd argue they're the most famous couple in comics is between them or it's

like a close, it's very close between them, them and Lois and Clark. It's very, very close. Yeah, I would say, I think Lois and Clark takes the King. I think Lord of Clark takes it. Yeah. For, for like, I mean, they've had multiple shows. They've had multiple shows. I think modern time now, it's like Peter and MJ. But from

like, I don't think so right. Historically, it was like, I mean, I think they have a modern Lewis and Clark too. Like, in that and that? They do. They have Superman and Lois. You're right. That shit.

That shit just fucking... Yeah, no. I would say, I would say that Lois and Clark takes it by a... Or Superman takes it by a while... And I say that I don't mean to... I know what you're saying. It kind of reminds me a little bit of like, um...

You know how Pewty, Pewty Pie was like the most subscribed channel for a certain point? And then like the second most subscribed channel before him was like 50 million below him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But even... but the people below that 50 million were even further away. It's kind of like that where it's like, I feel like Superman and Lois,

that's PewDie Pie. Spider-Man and MJ is probably like number two. It's still way higher than everything else around it. I would say yes. There would never be a TV show called Peter and MJ. Never. You're right. No one would fucking watch that.

It would not be something that it would be. I would check it out, at least. I would check it out. I would watch one episode. I'd watch one episode. I'd watch the whole thing and I'd be like This show was interesting

And I wouldn't talk to my friends about it But man Don't even put that Netflix is about to fucking green light That shit right now Just because you said it's true They're looking They're looking for writers

So they're probably just like They're probably hanging around podcast Yeah They don't do Spider-Man shows unfortunately Which is really sad Because I feel like Spider-Man At an episodic form Is significantly better

Than movie form But I think that You know unfortunately You know how they did Daredevil If they did a Spider-Man Man show, I'm sure, if they did a Spider-Man show and they really took time but money into it, bro, it'd be groundbreaking. People would be like, oh, this is an amazing television show.

But they wouldn't. I think, fucking. I think, yeah, God. The movies, man, it's crazy. The movies of, I just, I have not been, I have not been satiated. I have not been satisfied since the, uh, the, the, the, the OG Sam Ramey ones. And I think that's just because it's probably nostalgia lens. It's probably just all the YouTube poops and memes.

that are surrounding it why I enjoy it so much but everything moving forward I've I've just felt something lacking always even with the trilogy happening with the what's his face Tom Holland Tom Holland yeah where I still feel I'm like something just feels I don't feel satisfied

and I can't put my finger on it there's a there's a that's the problem with those movies yeah I don't even think it's necessarily I don't even think it's necessarily just due to that I do think you're right that is the problem is the that they're all confined to the MCU but I also feel like generally

all movies now kind of feel like MCU movies Like it's not even just that the MCU is the problem It's just that like everything kind of emulates it And back then Like I don't know man Spider-Man 2 And like the Dark Night were Only a few years apart

And they feel like very drastically different films Whereas like I don't know You look at like the flash And it feels like every fucking movie I agree It just doesn't like Especially especially this fucking saw it. And also there's this like

multiverse thing that's happening that's really ruining. I don't like Ezra Miller as a flash. It just doesn't work for me. And it's not... Yeah, he's... This was before, like, we found out he was... Or they were insane. Like, I just don't. I don't. Like, even before we found out of that

crazy shit that, uh, that they did, I was, when, uh, first in the, the Justice League movie, it just didn't work for me. I'm like, I don't... This is something... This is not a... This is not a... This is not the, I don't want it. And I saw the movie.

The only thing I liked about it was Michael Keaton. That was the only thing I liked about that. Yeah. And even that, he was so out of place. Like, he, it was, it was like, it would be like, it would be like putting fucking Tony Soprano and Smash Bros. Like, it felt, it felt so fucking. I feel like it isn't that out of place.

Why don't they do that, though? Yo, you would finally get me to get on Team Nintendo. If they put fucking Tony Soprano and Smash Bros. Oh my God, we didn't talk about that fucking whole. Horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible Nintendo direct, bro. I didn't even see it. That shit was, what happened? Nothing.

There are, there are, at least, you know, the paper Mario for the 3DS now. I mean, but wasn't that the same thing for a fucking, the, the, the, the, the, the state of play? The state of play, I thought the state of play was right, honestly. That's it. This, this new one showed nothing. It was just like, here's, RPGs no one's going to play. Again. Again.

I was like, wait a minute. They showed me a ton of Spider-Man before. I was already like, well, I'm not even, personally, I'm not excited about it because I forgot that it's a PS5 exclusive. And I've been, I was like, I had no reason to buy a PS5 yet because really the graphics weren't that much of a difference when I, I saw like PS5 versus PS4 playing God of war. I'm like, that's not, that's not enough for me to get PS5.

I do want to play Demon Souls, but it's been that long. Demon Souls is gorgeous, man. Dude, that's a gorgeous looking game. It's so long that I... It's so past, it's ridiculous to me. Like, I played Demon Souls so long ago. That was like, I was like... But that's how I felt.

Like, I was so, like, I just... I got over that itch to, like, okay, I need a PS5, but they're hard to get. And then it's so long past, I'm like, it's... I can play it fucking years to come. It's fine. Dude, it will be... Literally, by the time the PS5 comes out with, like, a pro model, or like, this one... If the PS5 comes out with a pro model, or, like, this one...

If the PS5 comes out with a pro model, it's... model and this one goes down in price. By that time, Spider-R-R-2 might be on PC. Right. That's what I'm hoping for, yeah. Yeah, so you don't really need it. I kind of, for some reason, and my dumb match just thought it was going to be on PC because since the first one's on PC now, I just my brain just, brain fart, and I forgot that it was a PS4 exclusive. I forgot about that.

Yeah, that's, yeah, Microsoft is the one that does that. Yeah, I was like, oh, great, I can't even play it. I just, I was only on PS5. And I was like, oh, yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. But I just, I don't know. I don't know.

I just wish. at Nintendo's completely People are like They're obviously winding down Because you have a new console Coming out next year It's like then don't present Wait

Show us your new console Wait Did they uh Is that confirmed that they're They're showing new console next year It's believe to speculate heavily It's not confirmed I very much so believe next year

They'll be like we have nothing again And people will be like Well it's fine It's fine The new Pokemon game And it's gonna be not finished But that new Mario looks pretty cool Wonder looks cool

Yeah that's cool So my RPG looks cool I like playing that game when I was seven Yeah yeah You know that's dope I'll look at I will get out I like playing that game when I was 14

I had to switch for a minute and then I got I'm sorry I got a switch for a minute and then I got rid of it And then I'll come back If they I know they won't do this But if they at some point

have a remade version of Mario 64 I would I would come back because that's really the only thing that I want from Nintendo I would love for that game to just I don't know to me it

I know they're not going to They're never going to touch that It doesn't make sense Why it's Why what's going on with Why wouldn't they though? Like what is what's going out with Nintendo. You know what I think it is? You know what I think it is? Yeah. I think it's because

that game is so classic and so broken in such a very specific way and so beloved that they're afraid to go back and fix any of it or really or really spruce any of it up because it might destroy what's so cool about the original or and it won't live up to the hype of what the original is supposed to be. I think that's the only, it's, it reminds me of like, almost like why Half Life 3 will never come where it's like there's, there's really no point. It is just, I agree with the half-life thing. I agree with that. Think of it like this, Derek, right?

Think of it like this, right? There's no reason why Nintendo. Think of it like this. Think of it like this. Think of it like this. Like, think, use a brain. Use a brain. Turn it on. You get to get it. What happens is this right?

Nintendo has the greatest video game catalog in history. Period. We argue what you want, say what you want, have your own opinions. You're wrong. It's Nintendo, unfortunately. Most successful, that's for sure. He can't argue that.

100%. It's not as good as Tiger Electronics. You have your opinion. You might be right. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going.

But there's, they don't, they don't, they don't, the access to the Game Boy Advance is gone. You can't access that catalog of video games. There is, if there is no reason why they should not have an ability for you to be able to buy the games for the, like, if they released it for a week, like, when they were like, hey, we're going to make almost all of our video gameway advance games available. Yeah. Come buy them up. Have fun. Do this. They would make billions of dollars in days. Because I know personally I'd be on their spending $35 per game for at least a good hour and a half. So the question, why? That's what I want to know. What are they doing? I don't, I think because they're a Japanese company and a tradition of things being where they were is so important to them that they don't understand how stupid and much and money they're missing. It just sounds so fake

It sounds so unbelievable to me Like they wouldn't have people crunching numbers like bruh Because I know I agree though I agree that I'm willing to give them a lot of my money And it's like they don't want it And I and that always Because I couldn't get the games I wanted

I was forced to buy this It's costing me $200 I'm so mad I paid the money I paid for this Oh my God But I was forced Oh man I had to do it. And I've been using it regularly.

More than the Switch, in fact. Way more than my Switch. Wait, what have you been using? My 3DS more than my Switch. I buy a huge margin. I have this. No, that's weird. I barely use my Switch, though.

Like, I, I've had a Switch for... I have this. And I have this. I've had a Switch since it came out. This is how desperate I want to play these old games. Is that the light? Both of them. Is that the light?

I don't have a game with a little bit. I'll just get a what you go. I get a light. Yeah. I still have an SP somewhere. It's laying around somewhere. It's just I don't know what, I don't know what's going on with their brains.

I don't know what's going on with their brains. I don't know what's going on with them like Fiskew like they're clearly not hurting for money, obviously. They make a Pokemon game. That's half a video game and people buy it up and act like it's a crazy on the planet. Talking to people about that game was the most insane shit to me ever. I've ever experienced.

People were defending, like, it's like, when people, like, let's, what game came out that was kind of fucked that people were defending. People were defending cyberpunk, right? And people were, Cympunk was fucked when they first came out. It was a fucked game, right? I loved it. I loved the game. But it was a fucked video game when it came out.

Yeah, it was a fucked video game for the majority of people. Like, I'm having, it's the same thing with Starfield for me right now, man, where, like, people are like, performance on PC is terrible. It's like, it is running fucking flawlessly for me. Yeah, you're lucky, yeah, yeah. Like it's so, like, and it's same thing happened with cyberpunk where it's like it crashed, Cympunk crashed once for me. And then the rest of the experience was completely bug free, like totally.

Like it didn't look as pretty as it as they promised for sure. But like, you know, like it didn't have ray tracing or whatever. But like, it was a fucking dope-ass game. And I remember being like, this is so good. And everybody's like, are you fucking stupid? And like, yo, what's going? What's going on? But then they were like, but then the same people that were talking to them about cyberpunk,

Pokemon came out and you're falling. through the world, your Pokemon's appearing with inside of you. You can't go into any buildings. The shit that was, and it's just like your brains are mush. You guys are incapable of admitting the truth of on Nintendo anymore.

Pokemon games though, I don't say this to defend them, right? Okay, I want to make that very, very clear. They have been buggy for a very, very long time. Like, even the original Pokemon games were fucking very buggy. It wasn't, like, as noticeable because 2D games are very... Yeah, dude, missing no.

There were, like, there were certain chapters where you got, where the game would, like, crash itself, like, a lot. I don't... I remember running into some crashes. I remember missing no. On Pokemon Yellow? No, no, not Pokemon Yellow. Pokemon Red.

I remember having, like, I remember that game crashing on me before I understood what crashing was. I thought my Game Boy was fucked up out of being walking in. It would freeze. Definitely happened. Remember that for sure. Right, right, right. But I don't remember it being, like, super fuzzy.

It was, I guess, not in comparison, right? Because the bugs now are like, because games are a lot more complicated now and so like the things that can go wrong with them are a lot more I'm not saying that to defend them. I'm just saying like they have a long history of being very, very they've gotten buggyer, I'll say

but they've always been, they've always been buggy. It's kind of like the opposite of Bethesda where Starfield's like the least buggy game they've ever put out and like, and this is like this is the most buggy game that that fucking, what is it Pokemon's ever put out? Yeah. The bugs that were coming out of

that Pokemon game though, I remember laughing my ass off at it because they were fucking genuinely funny. I was cracking my ass out. I look, dude, I love the original ones. Anything, anything before anything before the 3DS era of Pokemon, I'll fucking play it. I like it. Cool games, fun.

But the amount that people are able to like just completely negate, like, quality and then say other games are bad, it's like, dude, you play Nintendo games religiously. You got to understand that, like, you know, come on. they'll never make a, they'll never make a Skyrim level game.

They can't. They don't know how. They got Zelda. Zelda's fun. That's cool. You know, they made it again. That was cool.

Like, I have no, I have, there's nothing they're making that I look forward to at all, period. Same thing with Sony as well. Very much so true, Sony as well.

But I have no, like after Spider-Man, I might sell my PS5. Because they, what else did they got after that? What's coming after that? Like, Well, I mean, that's...

God of war and Traces Revenge. I don't know. What the fuck? You play video games. You know what I mean? They're going to... There's also Wolverine on the horizon as well. Yeah, what is that?

Two years for now? No, I think it's next year. You think it's next year? I don't think next year. I think so. I think Insomniac... Listen. They do.

They do. Insomniac is unreasonable with, like, how they... How quickly they get shit out. They put two games out within like five months of each other at the beginning of the PS5 generation, and they're already, Spider-Man 2 is already out.

They're working quicker than every other fucking studio. And so I do think it's possible that it's, at the very least. If not next year, probably, obviously, early the year after. But I think there, I don't know, man. I think people are getting a little too

fucking weird about it. It's like, dude, there's nothing on the horizon for Sony. And it's like, there is. They'll show it when they've got, like, a lot of stuff to show. And they'll also show it when, you know,

I would imagine after Spider-Man there's going to be a showcase. I don't think they like to cannibalize. What else they're like? Oh, Spider-Man's out. What else do they mean? We don't know. That's what's interesting.

The Last of Us, Part 3. No, nobody, nobody. Joel's Revenge. Ghost of Sashima, I know they're doing another one of those, but aside from that, we don't really know. I want Joel's revenge. Yeah. That's all I want.

Joel's revenge. Yeah. He comes back. He'll be so sick. He just pops out of the ground or wherever they buried him. You know, he's like, throw him in the dumpster, whatever he pops out of it and shit. With the gauntul. He loves down his head and he's just like...

Yeah, I mean, I don't really use my PS5 that much at all. Like, the Xbox is my main thing, and then PC is the second one afterwards. But I have the PS5 because I know this... I know there's going to be must-play shit there. And especially for the show, it just helps to be there on day one. But, yeah, I mean, I don't know. Whatever. We didn't answer this question at all, but thanks.

What the fuck was... I don't... I don't even remember what the question. question was and I lost it so thank you sir our man I think oh yeah the dedicated slur button would would be a great addition if there's a button for for miles where if you press triangle he says the N word

oh it'd be great shit I'd break my triangle what you're talking about oh yeah the triangle would be gone like it would be like rubbed off yeah it would just be in let's see let's see be stuck into control authentic shaggy Authentic Shaggy wrote in. He says,

Hello, my three little weekly baby boys. A long time set dressing, first time being a side character. Have you guys seen the sheer amount of music coming out this fall? There's hundreds of hours of anticipated music just on the horizon. Also, probably a fair amount of trash. Also, are there seasons preferred for music releases, i.e. summer blockbuster?

I don't know. I've been so clued in on video games that, like, every other entertainment medium is just like completely stuck by me like I don't know like outside of like

Barbie and Oppenheimer like in like I am not paying attention to movies at all I am not paying attention to music even slightly yeah I don't know what the fuck

is on the horizon at all music's been too overwhelming even where I was gonna give I was gonna give my shot at because there was people that were like

oh you should there's a whole meta going where people are just like jamming along to like music kind of in a reaction way and I'm like all right I did it a few times

and I was like oh let me give let me give this a shot like I'll it'll be fun and there's shit coming out all the time and I'm like ah fuck this it's like I'm not like it's if you don't you know if you're not caught up with it then no one gives a shit like if it's already days later and yeah

it's crazy I was like god damn there's so much music coming out like me actually paying attention and I was I just fell behind. I'm like, I'm good. I'm just going to listen and whatever and not, just enjoy music. For me, it's like, I've got to the point where I listen to so much, right?

Like, I've got it's like really into old like 90s music. Like, Gypsy Queen and shit like I've just been like on that shit or like Brazilian like funk music. And it's like really simple beats that people are just dancing around to. And I'm like, I don't even listen to good, like I don't listen to good hip hop anymore. I'm like, shit, dude.

I got to like, cleanse my power. I got to go. back to New York for a little while. I said the music and like my homies and then come back like all right I understand good rap music again

but for like my older man I've been really into um I was in a black Sabbath again for some reason because when I was younger I listened to them a little bit

and like I listen to the back Sabbath and Grateful Dead because of my I think my uncles they like that shit probably yeah and sounds like an uncle thing yeah because my uncles was a nerd

he liked fucking weird he liked D&D back when it was like people thought you were the devil liking it and I was like I guess I'm going to listen to this shit and I would just watch listen to him and I'm like,

this music is strange and angry but like I'm seven so like whatever I'll fuck with it and now I listen to it again I'm like oh this music is weird as shit I'll still listen to it and Lily hates it yeah she just like bad bunny and shit

so funny her her ears are bleeding listening to the shit I've been to lately dude my my music consumption has been so fucked lately it's I don't even know how to I'm delving into like death tone I've been delving into Chica who I feel like is relatively

There's a new album she came out with recently that I really like And just like I don't know like metric I was listening to a rock set A little bit Which is like very specific But I don't know man If if If I open Spotify

And it tells me that a new release is out for something that it thinks I'm interested in. That is the only way I'm going to find out about it. Like, I have no tethers to, like, a music community. Like, my friends aren't really musical. Like, they are musical people, but, like, not in, like, the new sense. Like, they're very much, like, every time we get together, we just listen to, like, old stuff.

Right. And it's usually old stuff that we, like, either have on a rotation or just stuff that we've genuinely never heard before that's fucking old, and we're like, how do we not hear this? I can't stand it to music with our friend group, actually. But it's the same kind of music every time, and it makes me crazy. Like it's good music.

It's very, like, listen to like very like, like 90s dance music. And that era of music is amazing. It is great music coming out that is just good to listen to. But we listen to it all the time and it drives me mad. Like I get crazy. Like I can't do this again. That's why I go to, that's why I go to throw in insane shit. Like either like Japanese breakfast and stuff.

I'm just trying like, try and like spruce it up a bit. But I was listening to it. Because I was trying to like, I was looking at some of the playlist that I have on Spotify and I was like I have a high school playlist that's just like all the stuff that I would listen to as like a kid or stuff that was on the radio and I was a kid just to get that vibe. And I was like I got to flesh this out a little bit more. And I found a song that I can't. I totally fucking. So right now like the most recent additions are like a lot of, it's a lot of dotry. It's like fucking it's dottery.

And I found this song that I can't believe I totally forgot about fucking Liz Fair. Do you know, do you know Liz Fair? It sounds familiar, but I'm not sure Why can't I breathe Whenever I talk about you It's like I haven't heard that song since I was a child Dude, that's what I'm saying

That's what I'm saying I heard it and I was like fuck This reminds me of like a very specific moment When I was a kid when I was like eating fucking brownies In yonkers So I was like this is definitely going in here But it's all just like Memory Trigger music

It's just like, oh, this is, I haven't listened to these songs since I was a child. So, like, when I listen to the Vigama, it's like, oh, it brings me back to this point. You're everywhere. But I would never fucking, like, you're everywhere. She hates that song. And I'm like, why don't you like this song? Who? She doesn't like that song at all.

She doesn't like the song at all. Like, she has no. She's fucking insane. She has no attachment to it. And I'm like, how do you know, like Michelle Brandt? Like, this song is great. I think, I don't know. I think she should be shot.

Let's move on. You should be shot. No one should have gone her down. All right. Let's get a handful. We spent a long time on one of those. Yeah. So let's try and get,

how are you feeling about three more? All right. Yeah, let's do it. I'm not answering that. I'm not asking that question. You know what? I'll read it.

I'm not answering this. White guy, dangerously close to accidentally saying the N-word because of this podcast. Nice. Be careful, guys. Be careful. He wrote in.

He says, Hey, Crabs. Uh, what's the most embarrassing piece of non-porn you've jerked off to? For me, it was an episode of Big Bang Theory when I was 14. Wow. Good touch. That's crazy. Wow.

I've definitely, I mean, what's sexy in that show? Oh, man. I don't know, man. I can tell you guys, you guys will never, I'll never live it down. So I can't. I don't, I'll never live it down. Let's just keep that in silence. It's a safe space.

I want you to understand it is fucking hilarious. but I'm not going to I'm not going to tell you guys it is you guys would a howl I swear if you guys freaking it out then fucking say it it would be good for the show somebody reveals tell you what I'll tell you I'll say it I'll say it if you say it I and that's a promise

I'm my word you say it if you say it no no you have to go first okay so there is um is this going to sound crazy because I don't I can't ease my way into this there is a point I can't even

this goes out so wild there's a point Alvin and Chimunks where there is a really hot girl with no bra on in Alvin and Chimmuk's live action movie that I

Jacked off to and I look back at that moment and every time I look back at that moment I feel like such a barbarian I hate the person I was and am because of that and it's what happens is that during the scene

goes to the chipmunks and I'm like oh man he's the fucking chipmunks and I have to wait and then it just prolongs the process even more and I'm like this is the most terrible just fucking edging and then waiting for the chipmucks to get off the screen.

Let's hear you're pretty cool that's pretty cool I like that one it's so embarrassing dude that's pretty cool I like that that's so that that is good answer that is that is really that is really it's horrible

That's a pretty good answer. I don't know if I could top that, to be honest. I think, so I'm trying to remember. There's like a few of them that I know. Oh, no. You ever dribble to a really curvy tree? No. So.

God damn it. Sounds like some of, like. It was just, it was, it was, it was, I don't remember what episode. it was. There was some episode it was some episode of modern family. It was Sophia Vergara,

but I don't remember what the fuck. I don't remember what the fuck. I don't remember the exact instance because I never went back to it at a certain point because I realized I could just look up whatever the fuck I wanted. I can't touch the same more. Well, no, I just, I could just like, oh, I could

just Google porn. This is ridiculous. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, yeah, that might that might be it. I don't remember what. episode, I wish I could, but that's the one that comes to mind anyway. I'm sure there were, I'm sure there were a lot of other ones. The moment you realize

that I'm blanking from my memory. You're like, oh, wait, all of this other magazines and attractive whistles and curvaceous fire hydrants, these mean nothing to me now. Curvacious. I can watch real pornography. Yeah,

that's, I was, I was trying to rack my memory and I've never had, I've never done anything like Like that wasn't or adjacent to porn. Like say the closest thing was my mom, she has, she would buy these Sports Illustrated swimsuit editions. And like those are like they're adjacent though, right? But it's not.

Yeah, they are adjacent. So like that would be. But other than that, I always, you know, even though it was fucking dial up, man, I don't go fuck. I'd get up late at night, download some shit, burn it on a disc and have this fucking pimp-ass disc is full of way too much shit. To one point that like I thought That's back when porn was way more graphic too

So you were getting anything My favorite when I was like In middle school was like Sorority type shit It was like college because you know that was the fantasy Oh man I'm fucking fuck all these girls And so it would be like Oh clearly some chick that's not in college

But that's just the title You know It's like that barely 18 shit when they clearly They're like 30 or whatever They're just saying whatever They just say whatever That woman has mother ariolas

dude what did you do that's a dude her nipples are blown out for being sucked on like dude i I used to know dude I used to know exactly do you remember those girls on wild ads on comedy on comedy central

exactly done done done done 145 p.m. 145 a.m. dude 140 145 a.m. or something like that where i was like i for me it was 10 o'clock yeah yeah yeah yeah and i remember i remember being like i know it's coming and i would just wait I would wait

And they would like You get like a minute And third minute and a half You get like a minute and a half max So it like You really had to be quick about it You gotta use your time It was so funny

Dude I had it down to the fucking minute Down to the fucking minute I knew exactly when they would show up So fucking funny My uncle My uncle is I don't know why it's you know like It's a weird thing right

It's like All uncles I think like why is it always the uncle that's the pervert even though like you don't turn into an uncle there's a criteria to turn into an uncle but why is it when there's

like a degenerate in the family it's always the uncle and what I mean by that is boys are degenerates in general my yeah yeah so is it just every guy and then I think it's also because the word uncle is just such a fucking silly sounding like like in comparison to everything else

my uncle in here yeah that's my uncle the fuck like say look at my my my dad before he passed uh i don't think he was that guy and he probably was an uncle to one of his brothers or something well everybody's an uncle to someone that's the thing but then like but he wasn't he wasn't the guy but then my on my uh my my dad's uh uh one of his brothers he uh became that guy he was the uncle and so he was the big he was the biggest degenerate ever where he's he didn't even try to hide his porn or anything there was a gun next to his porn that was i easily had access to and uh there was a shot i definitely played one of my uncle's

guns before i definitely didn't have a clip in it it didn't have a clip in it but i definitely one time because i was like why did i get a beating i was like i was trying to reflect on why i got a beating one time and my grandmother filled me in the story i definitely went my uncle's room dug through tried to find some of his comic books found a gun came i was like grandma look what I got. She was like, oh, no, no. He will pull the trigger and not have a clue why anything went wrong. She got it from me beat my ass, and I was just sitting in my room like, wait, what did I do this time?

You got your ass beaten. You didn't even know what you did. That's fucking. What did I do? She scolded me, right? She scold when I do wrong thing. Me, no, do wrong thing now. Me just wave toy in air.

He just wave toy. Yeah. That's so fucking crazy. What wrong I do? I had a lot of good material. I had a lot of good material with my uncle. I just say that. The last thing I was say, move on.

We're sitting down watching Comedy Central or something or whatever. We're bored so he starts flipping the channels. And this fucking guy, he knows. Now, I'm a dumb kid. So he paid for some of the spicy channels, right? Yeah. And so he's flipping, and he's pretending that he's flipping arbitrarily, but then it goes to, like, some of the porn.

And I remember this, blonde chick with huge tities rubbing them and moaning and he's looking at me like he's all surprised that he flipped on it where clearly you have to go to the high channels that you know i got older and i'm like what a fucking pervert i'm a kid and he's like oh i'm gonna show this i'm gonna awaken this motherfucker he's just flipping through porn channels and like there's some chick just grabbing her titty's looking like she just can't take it anymore like she just wants you so badly and i'm looking at the screen he set you down the path bro he tried to sit you down the path of darkness, bro. In hindsight, I'm like, I wouldn't do that to my nephew.

What's so weird right now. I'm the uncle. I'm like the, um, I'm like the everyone comes to talk to me because I'm like the emotionally intelligent uncle in my family. Like my niece, whatever, she's like having really hard trouble or like the cousin. It's insane. It's a wild. That is a wild family, man. It's holy shit. Dude, my family's, the only person that was normal. The only person that was normal was my grandma, but she was normal by other people. standards. She was still crazy, but she was like, she appeared, she played normal well. She was like, oh, I present as a regular person. But now, like, talking to, like, my niece and my niece being like, like, Uncle King said, I really appreciate you being there to talk to about crazy stuff.

You're very, like, upstanding. And I'm like, Brianna, I, I tried to fuck Ben Gay more than once. I'm not, I'm not an upstanding person at all. I'm a piece of shit. But in her mind, I'm like a good uncle. It's so insane thinking. Like when Lily met them and how much they loved me and how much they like really looked up to me, do they know who you are? And I'm like, no, they don't.

They have no clue to the kind of person. That's the only way that people can, that's the only way the people can look up to you is if they don't know who you are. Really? Everybody's, everybody's, like, I remember, it's funny too because like I remember saying, do you guys remember that sentiment of like,

I guess it's not like a, like a dead sentiment. It's probably just like a generalized kind of saying this point, but it's like never meet your heroes. Yeah. You know, where the idea it's like, oh, if you meet them,

they'll disappoint you. And it's like, yeah. I feel like it's the opposite. I feel like everybody should meet their heroes because it just sort of like, oh,

they're people. Right. It's exactly what should be happening, in fact. It's exactly how people should react to meeting people that they admire. It's like,

oh, you're just a person. Cool. As opposed to just like putting them on like this weird pedestal. I remember I felt weird for so long going back home and like my nephews

and my nieces would be like, oh, man, Chris is here the star. It's like, You don't even understand. I'm a fuck up, kid. You don't even understand. I don't even understand.

You're a fuck up, kids. You have, do better. Yeah, do significantly better. You have a crippling porn, bitch in two? Wow. It's crazy. I thought I was a low. Yeah, well, you have 10,000 bookmarks as well.

Dude, we were talking about the bookmarks, and everybody thought we were crazy. I thought it was insane that people didn't have bookmark porn. We were talking about it. you're there for that you were right i wasn't there for that oh my god we were talking about bookmark porn everybody was looking at me like i was some sort of fucking alien and i was like you guys don't have bookmarks what do you mean what do you really was like i'll use your computer i've never seen bookmarks again you'll never find you'll have to go through so much shit to find those bookmarks girl i'll definitely be home before you find them i would i have fake folders i have i have fake folders

on top of fake folders on top of fake folders i got you'll never you'll never get them picture of a fuck you sign like how you're not gonna get them you're trying that's so fucking that's so insane i used to i used to that the good i don't i'm pretty uh everything is just if you if you truly don't want to trace you just everything stays online everything is online man everything is there's just everything is uh yeah i just i i've i've stopped caring about how private something like you know it's like whatever like I'm not watching crazy shit Yeah I know that's the whole thing

I was never what yeah There was never anything like say Always think of it this way If I died would I be content with Like it doesn't matter if I'm content I'm dead but you know Meaning like say right now I'm just thinking Was there anything I'd be like holy shit

Like they might find this And I'm like no I don't have anything like that so The most wild thing I've ever looked on my On a computer of mine Was Mr. Hands And I didn't look at it for fucking sexual purposes I looked at it to hear the sound he made When that horse put his dick in him

And it was like, uh, and immediately, I was like, oh, that guy's going to die. I was like, that guy is gone.

He's dead. This is really unfortunate. I'm watching someone die, but it was so, I've never laughed like that in my life, dude. I was, I was got malware on my,

I was got malware on my computer when I was a kid. And it was like, uh, it installed some, like, naked chick on the front of the desktop. And if you clicked her pussy would moan.

And I'll, I was like, oh no. I was like, what do I do? I was like, I hated those fucking... You had to reset that whole bitch, bro. You had to reset that entire bitch. Dude, honestly, for real, imagine for just a brief moment having that installed on purpose. Like, that was something that people would, like, people would make that for the purpose of people.

Like, people would install that shit on their computer, like, have like a naked woman straddling the fucking task bar. That is so fucking insane. primitive, bro. I was terrified because that was the family computer. Oh, my God, how do I get rid of this? This was before I, like, knew how to, like, search through and everything. Even on your personal computer having that is so fucking overkill. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's so outrageous. It's barbaric, bro. It's like, what is wrong? Like, you don't deserve anything. It's pretty crazy. It's fucking barbarism, man, because it's not hot. It's just this awkward, it's this awkward, tiny naked lady fucking this. the size of like barely your phone.

Yeah. No, man. Like, what the fuck? Anyway, let's get this one. A couple more. Shut the fuck up, dude. Benjamin Aaron Shapiro and he says, hello, my gay little fantasies.

Longtime listener, third time question ask her. Now with that out of the way, hypothetically speaking, if you were to be kidnapped by Nintendo and they wouldn't let you go unless you gave them three, unless you three gave them four characters to add to Super Smash, brothers, who would you add? I love this question. Dante?

I love this question. Four between us? Well, no, I mean, that would make sense. So I guess like if we could add, let's just, let's simplify it and we each get one, right? Let's do like three for each of, or not three for each of us, but one for each of us. Okay. Who are we adding? Scorpion.

From Mortal Kombat? Yeah. Okay. That's pretty boring. Yeah. Well, we were talking about him earlier. I think I think I've got to go with Tony Soprano for sure. Got to go Tony Soprano easily.

We got to get Tony Soprano in there. And I would say, I would say, I would add, um, uh, flow from progressive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she'd be bad. I'd be so fucking cool. You put her in that zero suit armor. Oh, dude, zero zero, zero from, from fucking progressive.

My apologies. Maybe get, maybe get like, maybe get Aaron E-surance in there. For me, it would be pulled smack, Will, Smith. Like, Wolf Smith walking away, the Will Smith, the being of Wolframed walking away after he smacked Chris Rock. When he was at his most powerful. That's a dangerous Will Smith. I was like, I, nice.

That's dangerous. He would fucking tear somebody up. His spike would be crazy. You know, Tony Zabrano would be good, but I got, I got, I've been watching, um, I watched the YouTube poop last night of, uh, Breaking Bad and, uh, it's, it's great. It's, uh, so I got to put him Mike Armand Trout for sure. He's like,

there's a fucking YouTube poop where he, He's just, it literally consists of this, abusing his granddaughter and like, like, like, like, like just yelling at her and just being the biggest piece of shit and them having a standoff with guns. And then him refusing Walter White, like the entire, Walter White just wants to have sex with Mike so badly. And he just constantly refusing him. And it's like 10 minutes long. It's like 10 minutes. It's such a, it's such a good fucking YouTube poop.

I love feature length YouTube poops. Like that's such a It's just like It's It's a A Jojo fucking Stumbled upon it I walked into my room

With her watching it And I was gonna go to my PC But then I stopped And watched the whole thing Yeah It was really good So yeah Mike Armitrout would be great Okay

Okay so Mike Herman Trout I would also suggest Maybe E.T And him getting hit Just makes the like Ah Like Ah

I love that sound man. What did fucking, what does his name say, E.T. stand for? Ernest Ternus? What was it? He had Ernest Ternus. I think, I think Jack's what I asked, what is E.T.'s real name? He said, Ernest

Ternus. That is so insane. That is such an insane that I don't know what to say to you. Oh, Ernest Ternus. It is such a stupid. We gotta get, oh, Jack's, by the way, like, I mean, I guess he did say this publicly on his stream, but I rated him.

I rated him on Twitch after I finished playing Starfield. He was playing something else. I think he was doing some AI stuff. He was fucking around with that. And Jackson said he would be down to come on. Yeah. We just got to get him. We got to get like a schedule.

Obviously like we're probably going to start doing guest episodes more often like after once the year ends. Because this, this Christmas is just like it's too busy of a, like that that month is too busy of a time to really do anything more than what we're already doing. Yeah. But I think once January rolls around We'll start getting more guest episodes in Jack would be an awesome You guys are not ready for the college we got with Jack

I'm really excited to have They're not ready for it dude We got to do it like Dude we've been talking about this for months because he He said he was down fucking forever ago I know I know I know so let's just Let's before this year's over Let's let's get Jack on

Let's do it before this year's over I want to let's do because bro Like he's he said he was cool That's true that's true yeah we should We should just do it. Also, there is, like, a lot to talk about recently. So, like, with the sniper wolf stuff. I want to probe him more about that.

Absolutely. That is good. Yeah. You know what? That's not a bad idea. Yeah. Who wants the message? Like, you want to just, because, like, it's really just about asking him when the fuck he's available.

I'll message Jack right now. Yeah. I'll send him a, I'll send him a text. All right. Yeah. We had a good thing going, Walter. We had a good thing going, Walter. You had to, you had to fuck my urethru with a big little sounding straw.

A big little. I don't know why you had. to do this. It stings. I've been saying that for years, and it's just purely my brain just not, it's just my brain not deciding where to settle. Big little.

I keep calling things like, oh, it's like a big little fucking, it's a big little party going on. It's become like a, you're not, you ain't ability to understand the world around you, so you say big little,

because you're confused. I just, I just, I'm very indecisive. There's a big little place. It's like, which one is it? That's a medium.

I've gotten it I've gotten into the habit of just kind of letting myself say that because it's become like a it's become like a signature problem of mine where I just I'll just be like oh it's a big little party you got going on here

but um I you know what I bit I bit this thing off my off a pen and I've been chewing on it and it reminded me of fucking being in school I just like chew on plastic and ingest all that plastic I'm way ahead of you everybody everybody

this fucking everybody on this planet right now is so behind me. They have to get used to all the microplastics in the rain. They're getting sick. Not me. I've been eating plastic since I was fucking 10. Yeah, you got plastic lungs now, man. I got plastic lungs. There's nothing beneficial about plastic.

Oh my God. I have, I have, uh, every time I inhale and exhale, it sounds like a, like a water bottle. Yeah, like that crunched. All right. One more. There's nothing beneficial about plastic lungs. There's, you get no from that.

You're just worse. You need no benefit, but it's just the reality. Oh my God. What do you got? Eric John, Eric John Rodney says, Hey, fellas,

have you ever missed out on anything that you had an opportunity to do or experience? I was at the festival where the brass against the machine vocalist pissed on a guy,

but I missed it to see Cyprus. I missed it to see Cyprus Hill and I haven't forgiven myself. So close to the last week. So close. That was so crazy that that happened. That's in my bookmarks.

Yeah, that's, yeah. That's a regular watch. Yeah, that's, I don't need anything for that shit. I don't need anything for that shit. That's raw, that's raw me right there. Dude, fucking that, I couldn't believe that when I saw that. Like, that was so, well, first of all,

maybe it was rock and roll. It was very rock and roll. It was also like, man. That might have been the moment where I was like, look, man, there's a certain, it was like an angel and devil on my shoulder where it's like, I respect that, but also, that is fuck, I'm too old for this. Ew.

You know what I mean? Where it's like, ew, gross, I respect that. Oh, why do you think that guy jacked off when he fucking, probably didn't even have to. Probably didn't even have to. He probably blew his load right there. He probably gnawed. He probably nutting through his, he probably came so hard in his pants

that it flew out of his pants and her in the face was just pissing on him. Now the question is, now the question is, like, he was so bold and brazen. He was so bold and brazen to get up there and allow that to happen to him. Is that the mark of somebody who gets no action or who gets so much that he's unfazed? I think it's... You know what I mean? I think this was like the... I think this was the lottery for him, like the jackpot.

Like, I think it was... He loves watching that shit and he's always fantasized. Like, man, I wish someone would piss on me. And he literally, like, not only that this happened publicly in the most shameful way possible, because you know he's into that humiliation shit a fucking attractive woman too like not even just some nasty fucking gargoyle lady just like a really hot woman

just pissed all over him and he yeah literally nutted through his fucking his pants like it got through his boxers and whatever else he has he was probably sounding to like it got through everything that motherfucker just went up there like it probably

afterwards he just laid on the fucking thing he was laid on to think piss come shot through his pants just laying there just like I It's you know It is it is a shame It is a shame because she is she's really pretty Yeah

Very pretty Fortunately for the guy No action because she's a she's a lesbian She uh yeah she has a she has a lady and um she's actually I think she's pregnant right now So they did like a sur uh they got somebody else's Probably that guy the guy that they pissed on Probably the guy that is like the guy is coming

She's pregnant That is such I still I'm so glad you ask that question too because like I told this is like a memory i totally forgot that this happened yeah and just like remembering so hard she got pregnant yeah that was actually an inward club oh bro there was a i think the last that might have been the last episode of the inward club we did it might have been that episode that's crazy watching her piss on that guy she's flooding him bro y'all's podcast which got me thinking that is so rock and roll bro so what was the question

was it like what do you regret or what was it well the i was it well the i i I just thought that that, just remembering that would be, would be cool. But, like, I mean, the idea, I guess is, like, have you ever had the opportunity, like, retroactively? Like, have you ever passed up on something only to realize that it was something that you really should have been at? Yeah, definitely. Because you could have experienced something cool. I definitely, like, decided to go home early one time with my friends. And then they ended up meeting, like, Method Man.

And I was like, this is so stupid. This is so fucking stuck. I was like, I don't really feel well. I'm going to go back home because we were in Harlem. And I was like maybe like 15, 60. I was going to visit after I moved upstate And I was just like guys I'm gonna go back to New York in the Bronx I'm hungry I want to just eat

And they were like all right cool And then like they were like guys dude look with the fucking horrible ass flip phones Fucking Blackberry I'm like yeah method man Like yeah method man came out of the bodega Like three minutes after you left he probably in fact said I didn't want to be around that pussy ass nigga Kingston Jameson and I'm like awesome

He was waiting around the corner waiting for you to leave He was like peeking and then as soon as you walk off me just M-A-H-O-D And as soon as I walk up, thank God. Hey, oh, get off my style. You don't like me, you don't like my style.

I had plenty of moments like that. Last one. And then we'll bump on out of here. Big Ugly Jordan wrote in. He says, hello, Huey, Dewey and Louie. Nice. Recently, I drove two hours round trip for sex, parentheses.

line, I guess. And on the way back, I was listening to y'all's podcast, which got me thinking, what's the longest distance y'all have traveled just to tame some strange? Tame some strange. It's such an elderly saying. I love that. One of my friends. Two hours a trip, by the way, is not really that long. It's not the word. He drove an hour in one direction. That's one hour. That's an hour. That's like nothing. It really depends on the, it really depends on the traffic situation. Because how far was it really? Like was, oh yeah Like an hour in upstate New York

That's like nothing But like an hour in like LA Fuck that Because that's like that's like 30 minutes of being stopped You know Like no Yeah

I guess that's a good point Yeah So I had one of my homies Drive me to the Pleasant Valley From where I How far was that From where I from Fitch goes That's maybe like 45 minutes

Then I got there Yeah I got there We argued We had sex And then we broke up It was the fucking most And I had to, it was such a bad, oh my God.

College, Lake High School Collegationships are so stupid. And I look back on them now and I'm like, this is such a waste of time. I could just be getting really good at video games. I could have been really perfecting my video games. That is so crazy. And I'm,

and then I remember, I'm waiting outside for my friend to come pick me up. He picked me up. He was like, how was it? I was like, I. And then he went home. Yeah, I mean, yeah. At home, and after I got home, I was just like, dude, I'm like fucking single.

He was like, dang, that's crazy. Dude, an hour is fucking, and hours, and hours, nothing, dude. That's great. That's a minute. It's all been in the, me, it's all been in, like, the vicinity. It's all like the, the, technically, I would say when I was in Arizona, just because I lived in a desolate city that was near nothing. So driving anywhere, like, if I had to drive into Phoenix, like, to go to work, that was, uh, like,

20 miles just on its own. So if I needed to go, it was kind of like just by default. But so it wasn't because I didn't live in the city. So it's like there was a city called Surprise that had a drive up. That was kind of far north. That's like the close. But otherwise when I was living in California,

it was nothing ever too far. But I will say this was kind of weird where I met up this girl from Tender and whatever we hooked up. And then I think it was the next day. she was like hey you want to fucking go to Sedona and I was like what I guess and I just this random fucking broad that I just met we drove all the way up to you know

Arizona Sedona I never been there before because her mom had like real estate and all this shit so then I was just hanging out in this fucking two million dollar fucking three million dollar house when I was like I do not belong here I'm gonna get shot like I was like just me being here I feel like if the wrong person saw me they'd be like oh clearly this person's robbing this place

and I mean, he had shot up by the... Hey, what are you doing over here, boy? It was the weirdest fucking thing just from like, oh, this was supposed to be a hookup, and then now I'm... I drove seven hours to go into this rich-ass thing, and then I bought something at goodwill, and then I never saw this bitch again.

It was so weird. That's... That's fucking wild. But Sedona's fucking gorgeous, man. Sedona is goddamn gorgeous. I even... Actually, I brought my shotgun, and we were shooting shit over there.

It's, uh... Oh, cool. I would recommend going to Sedona. It's fucking gorgeous. Otherwise, Arizona's a hellhole and should sink. Yeah, Arizona is fuck. I definitely wouldn't go to Arizona.

I've been there one time and I was... I wouldn't go to Arizona for... I wouldn't go to Arizona for some strange. I mean, I wouldn't like... Why do people call it strange? I don't know. I don't know. That just been the term that I've...

It's like a very old term. It is some strange. I'm going to get some strange. I've never used it. It sounds weird. I've never... I've never used to it. It's way before. The idea of people means like someone digs in their pants,

scratches their groin. Like, let me go get some strange right now. And they walk off. Yeah. The guy's balding tunes. I'm strange. Yeah, no, dude, like fucking an hour. Dude, I flew across the country, dude. I've flown from New, I've flown from California to New York easily. Specifically, just not. Like, specifically. You're my boy.

Well, look, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me be more specific. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was, it was specifically to do that, but it was also because, like, oh, oh, oh, it was around my family. I almost used it as like an excuse to go like ah i'll go see my family and i'll surprise him but like really it was like so here's the question would you have done it if your family wasn't in the area no yeah see so that doesn't necessarily count but still it i mean it does kind of count it kind of does count but it's like i want you to fly to louisiana where you don't have family to go smash and then it'd be

like oh damn you flew fucking like 2 000 miles just to get some pussy that's crazy yeah yeah that is yeah i I guess that would be different. What I'm going to say is this, right? If I'm not getting some pussy that I know, I'm going to defend it straight. Like, if I can't, if I can't, like, it's got to be like I'm going to have sex with, like, I don't know, like, 20, 2006 J-Lo. And I get to do whatever I want to that bitch. That is the only way I'm hopping on a flight for some pussy. That is the only way I'm hopping on a, to me.

What about like a four? What about like a 40? What about? What about? What about? What about like a 40-minute flight? What about like Vegas? Like Vegas?

I think that's reasonable. Not worth it. Flying scares me. I would do it. I would do that. Like if I met somebody and it was just like, oh, yeah, you know, why not? It's like, the furthest I feel like I would go is like maybe like. No, are we, Washington's the furthest, I think.

The second, the second, the second it's like over an hour flight. You know what I would do? You know what I would. If I could get a weekend with like one of those like Lily hypothetical sweetheart before her for, I say this. Lily, come in here and beat him up. This is real shit. This is real shit. Really, come in here and shoot him.

Some of the Australian woman I've seen in my life, if I could get a week with one of them and I had a place to stay in Australia. Just a generic. And a place to stay in Australia. Yeah, yeah. You would go to Australia for an Australian woman? I would hop on a flight to Ozzy land. If I got a week with that girl in a place to stay, yes.

Yeah. So, look, now, I want to preface it because some people might be. flight. The whole, girl, I think the flight's like 17 hours or something. That flight is,

that flight is extra, like I would be eye wrap, bro. I'm gonna be higher. It's funny too, it's funny too because like many, many, many,

many years ago, I was kind of like, I had this, it wasn't really a thing that was going on, but it was like, I was flirting kind of with this like Australian girl.

And I remember thinking like, am I gonna, am I really going to do this? Yes. And I thought, no, I'm not going to go to Australia. Like,

I'm not doing this. No way in hell. Am I doing this? Because that flight by itself And it's also just so embarrassing The idea of just like Oh my God If that plane went down

It's just like Where did Chris go? He went to go get some pussy on Australia And died Died. You got sucked up by a Bermuda triangle Or something shit Because there's no

I would have no You know what I mean It's just I want to go to Australia Just for the sake of going to Australia I would love to go to Australia With like friends Bro what I mean

Snark Tank Our next fucking life show Let's just do some wild Shit, dude. How welcome do you think we would be in Australia? I've actually been looking at stuff for a live show. No cap. And we're not going to Australia.

I'm telling you guys that right now. No, I think. No, I think from what I know of Australians and the type of humor and the gutter mouse that they have, I think they would welcome us with open arms. Dude, we would be super stars on Australia. Let's fucking go. Let's do it. Dude, I'm 1,000% down.

We'll link up with Lewis Spears and some, I know actually a lot of Australia. Weirdly, I know a lot of Australian content. If we did a combined show with Lewis Spears, we would get canceled. There's no such thing. There would be no reason for us to do that, by the way. But I'm saying, like, you know, I don't know, man, Australia could be cool. I would only go to those places with, like, you guys or, like, friends. 100%.

I feel the same way about Japan. Like, I'm not going to Japan alone. Like, I'm going to Japan with, like, my boys or, you know. I think we should legitimately. put my mind to it. I've settled it. I'm doing it next year. When are you going? So are we? Probably around time of my birthday. So are we. We're going to go at the same time. So at the time of my birthday. I'm going to Japan. I got a, I got at least see the place.

I'm going to. Let's go to Japan. No, actually, I literally like, we were going to hit Hawaii first, then we're going to Japan. We were talking about, we were at Jordan's house. I brought it up and I was like, yeah, I really want to go to Japan next year. I'm going. I'm like without it. No, we have to, because I was even thinking before, like, Japan explodes or something stupid what happens. Like fucking Hawaii caught on fire. Hawaii, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's, we gotta go before shit happens. I thought, I thought I had the rest of my, I thought I had at least, like, I thought I could go to Maui in like, when I was like 80, you know what I mean?

Isn't that funny? Like, I, and now it's like, it's gone. So it's like, yeah, now I'm thinking like, fuck, let's see, let's see. I got a, I got money. I've got, like, the ability to do it. I should just go to Japan.

Yeah. Dustin's in Japan right now. Yeah, you're right. And I'm so, I'm jealous of them, because I'm just. And then there's going to be a few Gundams that are going to come out. There's going to be... We've got to go before Dustin's...

Some fucking kajus and some Gundams start battling and sink the whole place. I was like Yonish is crazy. Dustin's going to put some C4 on the struts and detonate it before we can go. Can you imagine? I love the idea that Japan is on struts. Yeah, it's on struts. There's underwater struts in Japan. Yeah, yeah, that's good.

No one noticed this? Dude, let's actually... I want to, like, legitimately, unironically put out in the universe, in the ether. we go extreme instead of like doing a local show let's fucking go to Australia and do a show I think that shit really

fucking if listen man if we can get this if there are enough people in Australia even if it's just like a small like maybe like 200 300 venue place I really think I don't know I'm curious about that yeah I mean let's put some fillers out there

put some feelers out yeah if you want us to come to Australia let us know give us an excuse to come such a wild thing for our first live show it's in fucking Australia that's our first live show it would be our first independent life show that would be fucking so dope man I want

to pet a koala so bad and fucking I want to I want to wrestle kangaroo and shit you want to eat out a koala and get fucking yeah you get fucked by a kangaroo too yeah yeah yeah legendary gets fucked by a kangaroo that's what happens to you get sounded by a fucking get sounded by a fucking

kangaroo someone puts a Joey up your dick bro like Joey I forgot that they were called Joey. All right. Yeah, I ain't fucking no All right.

God damn, yeah. I ain't fucking a qual. They are cute though. Come on, that's silly. That's crazy. We're joking. We're just joking.

That's a little too far, man. That's a little too far. We're just kidding around. I love the idea that you had to clarify that we were joking. Like, after everything that we've said on this episode, that's the line. It's like, listen, I'm not fucking a koala.

That's a funny little joke there. Like, y'all are doing too much, man. That's a koala bear. Come on. Come on. This is a fucking out-of-pocket episode. This is a mess of an episode. All right.

Let's read our names. Thank you. Thank you guys. All right. I keep forgetting. I got to write myself a script and remind everybody about the fucking Patreon. All right.

Pitted on the com slash a snark tank, obviously. If you're listening this far, you're probably already a patron. But thanks a lot for your support anyways. We appreciate it. We're going to read the $25 in up names. Now.

Count me down. Three, two. Walter. One. Walter. Fuck face unstoppable. There goes my homo. Watch him as, as he blows.

Nice. Shama Lama Long Schlong. I'm 44 episodes behind and catching up quickly. This is a threat. Yanti. Walmartburg. NDC 13. Cypher graph.

Professional sync pisser. They should put a GoPro on EDP to show what happens to him. The only snart tank patient to have both justifiably and verifiably shot and not killed. Shot and killed not one but two people. His balls are sweaty. D's weak, arse is heavy. There's semen on his sweater already. Starfish spreading.

Sploed yourself by Mement. Menonem. Meninem. Meninem. Meninem. Mennine Mip. Okay. All right.

That's good. You set it up. We will do splude yourself by mininum for sure. Yeah. Menonem is too good. In a moment, you're blowing, you're sucking. I'm about to shoot my fucking low. Bro.

Hawn. Hon. Hawn, on. Let's let's give it. Let's relax. Adolfo the twink Lord of Come and Master of Bannas Sweeney lick my weenies

Keith David All their dicks are brown All their dicks are brown And this guy is gay Yeah this guy is gay I've sucked on a cock I've sucked on a cock I don't know

I don't know what this is It's running through my head Run into my head Is it that? No no no no No no No no that wasn't it It was it

That was no no You really stuck with that For a really really long time Despite the fact that you knew it was wrong It's not it's it's That's not that's not not the other right there's another one later on that that is that i think uh benjamin aaron shepiro come in my ass you're drilling me drilling me all i want is your ooze i don't know what that is

either caucasian container the cracker barrel for gays keith david tinfoil tyrant because i'm a hexerron i'm going to put my come on you uh black face on putting black face on my light bulbs cute david with my dragon max silhouette swini suini swiney swiney swallop my penny benedick Come in or not sing sings, and the signs, and the signs to some cock were written on the bathroom stalls, digging balls. She pipkin on my pippa. Possible, yes, it's my real name. I tried the Buffalo Wild Wings cheese curds and they're just okay. The man who's outside your window, I'm not using stilts.

I'm just that tall, domination, average clit energy. I'm a black belt and hate speech. Star Coffee. A mob of cock, goblin, goblin mobsters Robin, Robin Williams Grave. Gollum and Smeagel arguing over whether to say the N-word. Transfam gremlin, exposing people with lactose intolerance to 90 million. rodogens of ionizing radiation. Yush, not Vin-Penn,

the Angelic Dungeon Master presents Game of Throne and Special Victims Unit. Craig the Canadian, Richard Fisting, declares that Craig the Canadian is dead. Oh, shit. Maybe. It's your boy, Shawnee D. 9-11, uh,

two this time. It's personal. Matt Walsh is a hero of our time, sweet baby gang for life. Ben and Jerry's funky monkey. Indie Butterknife on YouTube. I reckon the, if the flash rapidly tensed and untensed his dick in bitch's mouths, it sound like a fleshy rattle.

snake 3XO buying Raycons in 2020 and them shocking my ear to cease function shortly after the warranty expired. Oh, we're just, that's crazy. We're on to three pages of 25. That's insane. That hasn't happened in a while. Woo. That's been a, that's been a long time that's happened. Let's go. That's what that's what made us raise the price in the first place. It was getting too fucking crazy. But we appreciate you guys. Holy shit. Three pages. Thank you, Walter. Thanks, Walter. Slurping, stroke, and smoking joke and emoticons going like this morning. Alec, David, my name is Pinguis, Parker.

I was bitten by a radioactive dinner. Dinner. And for over 15 years, I've been the YouTube poop man. To the tune of Hey Jude. Oh, yeah. To the Beatles. Hey, dude, come over here. Get on your knees and suck my penis.

Nice, nice, good. Obi won't to blow me, Keith David, Guy, Abby. To the tune of killing you the name, sucking it, I'm gay. Something funny and topical. That hieroglyphic language that I can't fucking translate or pronounce. wage slay 5883 i feel gay fuck you the papini brothers emporium tries to get vegeta to say i swallow come on stream donk donkerson quiet quentin and quefe and queer uh keith david william harrington let's get down to busy and defeat these puns uh tell him steve dave not a furry i just want to fuck a wombat a mean lesbian

john strickland armored whole sex fires of rubbing cox uh god damn it merx 1889 i'm such a dog i bite at the fart bubbles in the bathtub The first church of Keith David featuring the Unholy Choir of six unique, slightly altered clones of Keith David. The universe where Peter Parker is a Klansman, Pree-Raz, Blake 896, Gay Jonah Gameson, editor-in-chief of the gaily bugle,

cop shoots Pomeranian out of fear that his dick is bigger than his. Alaskan oilfield trash, Texas Tater Salad, peanut butter, and cummy sandwich. Ew. God. Sue Hull, tickle my ass hairs, Nicky Ziggy, Marcus's pronouns are he, him, and Dom's were was-Wer.

Love it. JFK's head was an IED. Every time I come, it sounds like Squidward Walking. Jackson DuPont, badly, brave, hugger, Derek, duck, cunt. Nice. Bulk, the first disciple of the fitness, Ethereum, Pergerian Hunter. Melfis 1, Warlock, Hexblade, Hexblade Warlock Supremicist, and rounding out our list. The King of Hephazard.

The King. The wonderful King of Hephazard. Thank you all for listening. I got to say, man, we're hitting these episodes pretty well. Thank you so much. doing a good job. The Patreon, the Patreon is exploding. It's growing really quickly. We really, really appreciate that. We want 2,000 followers, Walter. Gotta keep pushing. We got to keep pushing. How can we afford our gold-plated jet skis if you're not going to throw us your money? Come on. No, 2,000. 2,000 patrons would be fucking insane. We're at 1,200. We're 1,200 right now. We would, uh, yeah, we, we, we appreciate you guys.

Yeah, no, it's up. It's fucking awesome. What's going on? What? What did you say? Are you crying? Let's end this show. I don't even know what to make of that. What the fuck was that?

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