The Snark Tank - #18: Seven Guys and Fries

Episode Date: April 23, 2020

YouTube Drama never seems to end, does it? H3H3 and SomeOrdinaryGamers fight over something people apparently care about? Popular Twitch streamer dated 7+ guys while dating CallMeCarson? Are hand fetishes weirder than foot fetishes? Who's the best cook among the boys? Why can't Derrick make pancakes? What games made us cry? Would you rather be a furry or have erectile dysfunction? What would you do as God for 45 seconds? Can a neck be nice?  New merch coming soon! Discord on the way.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Click and collect. Order confirmed. Dad, tomorrow can we start a band? Can we become robots? Affirmative. Can we go crab battling? That isn't a thing. How about swimming? Dad, can we take a nap?

You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal. Deal. While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials. Book your free click and collect slot at tesco.e or in-app. Tesco, every little helps. Terms and conditions apply. Hey, look, he's a little dead meme. Hey, everybody.

Welcome to the Snark Tank podcast. It's me. Chris, Ray, Gun. And I'm here with two other people. Say hello. Hey. Hey, Peter. My name's Tom Swinney.

This again? Again. I'm here to talk to you about some funny things on the internet. End in the world. Do you think we're in 2010? I'm trying, okay? I'm trying to stay happy, right? Get out of here.

Who else is here? It's me, Peter. Man, that's not right. This is truly hell. That wasn't even close. That was a bad one. Sorry, forgive me. I don't fucking know how to do that guy's voice, whatever.

Well, this is the Snark Tank podcast. We really don't know what the show is at this point. We're just making some little audios for you to keep you company during the end of the world. and let's just as Phil DeFranco would say let's just jump into it, huh? Let's jump into it. There's actually a lot of shit happening

recently in the last like a couple days there's been a lot of internet happenstances that I think are vaguely worth paying attention to if not just solely because they're just really strange and baffling

and interesting on like a base human like what the fuck is happening level I'm sure most of you know about this, this Caterino business. Oh man. Don't let me get started. That's hilarious. So listen, initially, whenever something like this happens, and we'll fill you in, if you don't know, we'll fill you in. But initially, whenever stuff like this happens between like a YouTuber and, like, if it involves like a YouTuber in their relationship, I typically just don't really care

about it because that's already like so inherently personal that it's, it's like, ah, what business is none of our business? Yeah, what business is this of mine, really? And what do I care really? Yeah. But it gets to a certain fever pitch with certain things that kind of become unignorable. Dude, she was like Goku with the fucking dragon balls, man. She was just hoarding all of them. This is mad.

What is it? Seven guys now or something? Seven, yes. I think we're officially at seven guys. I think she. That's hilarious to me, dude. No. So, for those of you don't know, Caterino is a Twitch streamer, apparently.

She streams on Twitch. I don't know what the hell she does. I did notice, I was doing some research in her, and she has, like, this Pepe doll that she streams with, which reminds me a lot of Leon's Nigel. Yeah. Little Nigel. And I'm wondering, like, I'm wondering where this trend started, because I have Paul, but I don't know where I got that from.

I don't remember that. I don't remember, like, what... It's always funny, honestly. Oh, John... Must have been John with shock. But anyway, she's a streamer, and she was seeing, she's apparently in a relationship with Call Me Carson, who is a YouTuber who's a pretty, he's a pretty funny guy. I met him at Pax briefly. It seemed like a good dude. Real chill.

But apparently she was dating like seven other people at the same time. Well, six other people. Yeah. It was pretty crazy. Like, dude, okay, so what, apparently what it seems like is that she was dating her manager. and she was messing around with Call Me Carson, obviously getting all that sweet clout. And then Carson's best friend, really good friend of his,

Fitz, was fooling around with her too. And that's where everything broke out. And that's where it seemed kind of normal, right? Yeah, tagging. Oh, cheating. Big fucking deal. Yeah. And then everything else kind of nerd.

Yeah, if it was just that, I don't think I would have given a shit because it's just like, I don't know. That's so, that's so much of theirs. But then they dug into the lore of it. The lore of it, you realize that there were so many more people. Like, double the amount of people we knew initially. It's actually insane. It's insane.

It is, it has gotten to a point now where it's like, yeah, this is, this is a story. I almost don't believe it. Like, I actually almost don't believe it. I feel like this is just some shit people are making up. Or it's just some shit he's putting out to get, like, attention because that's a lot of people. Because that's a lot of people. I just don't know how you as an individual juggle that many people convincingly. You know what I mean?

I can barely date my one girlfriend, period. I'm so clocked for time in general. And I don't really even do that much. Yeah. It does say a lot about her because in her response video, she made like somewhat of an apology video. She did say, she did blame a little bit of what's going on with her on some mental health issues. And a lot of people didn't like that.

However, for her to be, because it's just minimally seven, because I even just saw a clip of a guy, another streamer. And keep in mind, all of these people are streamers. They're all on Twitch and YouTube. One person said, I know another story, but the guy, I asked him if I can tell it, and he said he'll think about it. So there is another story out there. So it's like, it's still piling up. It's not done yet. This isn't done.

You know, and why it's not, like, fake? Because there's all of this video footage. Like this dude that a bunch of people were like, this was like seven or nine months ago. That, like TwitchCon, yeah? Yeah, you saw that, right? And he's like, hey, can I invite my girlfriend over whatever? Hey, Kate. And everyone's like, who the fuck's that guy?

Yeah, and it's just some random dude. People, it's impressive. It's fucking impressive that it's gotten to that point. It's just, I don't know, man. It's almost the level of manipulation skill and the level of just the mastermindedness of being able to convince that many people that you're dating them. That's some Sirlock Holmes shit. You know how many textures probably get in a day? Like it's insane.

It's just. And like responding. It's almost impressive. Like I almost respect it by just how like how do you, because how do you do that? I can't pay attention to a single person. person. Like, I have, I have trouble, I have trouble just paying enough attention to a single person, let alone convincing seven people that, you know, that we're dating. Like, it's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, I mean, you've been a relationship for like, what, three or so years now. Yeah, nearing four now. Four now. Yeah,

that's like not, that's like not, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's non-existent to me. To me, that's like, how the fuck do people do that shit? Because I don't know, I have somewhat of the same issue as Chris were just really paying attention to one person, but not to the extent of Chris, though, because, like, just an example, yesterday, I was like, hey, Chris, let's do this musical collaborative effort, you know what I mean? Like, it's something that I've been seeing on, like, Instagram a lot, and then YouTube, and then he said he's down, and I asked him a question, you know, a follow-up. I didn't hear shit from this motherfucker. I was like, okay, never mind.

I guess we'll try something else. I had to think about it. I had to think about it. Honestly, Chris is like one of my closest friends. And if we didn't live together, I feel like we would talk maybe twice a month at best. It's really bad. Maybe. Like, I'd be like, hey, dude, you all right? And he'd be like a week later.

What's up? Dude, man, I just, you know what it is? It's just like my, the backlog of all of the people that I have yet to respond to. I am so deeply overwhelmed by all of it. That's not an excuse, but like I have my emails are like I have 100,000 emails. I don't know, man. Just something about keeping in touch with people is just stressful

because there's so many people. Yeah. Imagine this. Okay, this is a funny thing. Imagine if one of those emails are like, hey, you wanted you to head design on Halo Infinite and you never checked that email. Dude, I bet that.

I bet there's a bunch of those. What if there's an email from a girl that wanted to pay you $1,000 to blow you every day. What if you missed that? $1,000 a day? Yes. A thousand dollars a day? Yes.

What if some rich broad loved you so much that she wanted to pay you to suck your dick every day? So every single day I get $1,000. Yes. Damn. That would be really, that would suck. That would be really painful.

That would be painful to know that I'd be mad at you. I'd be very mad at you. I'd be like, you're an idiot. Yeah. You're so stupid. You're getting paid to get your dick sucked. It is really bad. I'm really bad at keeping it.

That sounds like divinity. That sounds like being a god pretty much. That literally is. That is, there is no higher tier of like, of just being a god. That's it right there. You're just, that's just the best that human can get. Yeah. Like, that's it.

I have no good excuse. I have no good excuse. I'm just really bad at responding to people. Yeah. So you, and look it, I imagine there's somewhat of a correlation. There's probably those guys that Caterina was going after. A lot of them probably have. the same issue as well and that's why they couldn't cross reference or even find out that

she's faithful or anything they're probably talk every once in a while and but but they still feel like there is something going on like one of the guys said they met up I forgot what was the span of time but they met up like 10 times and he was probably thinking that he was probably pretty exclusive with her and meanwhile you know she's fucking marathoning all the dudes and it's just marathoning Jesus Christ dude the memes are it is it is a real It is real shame. Like, I, it's a shame, too, because, like, Carson's a good dude by all my accounts. I've never seen anything.

It's way too nice. It's ridiculous. Yeah. He's a super cool guy. I don't know him super well, but I know that, I know that he was like, hey, don't, you know, don't pile on Caterino. But I don't know him well enough to really take that advice. Right? Oh, my God. So, he apologized for him. Like, he's such a nice guy that he's like, I have flaws to guys, please leave them alone.

You know, a lot of people could probably come after me for things that I've done. And it's like, bro, you got fucked over big time. There's no need for you to say anything like that. Honestly. 100% the victim. Exactly. It's kind of unheard of on the internet. That's why I guess it's so surprising.

Yeah. Everyone goes into defense instead of like, just like, hey, you know what? It works. I get it. He's repenting for some shit he didn't do. Yeah. He's been handling it. He's been handling it really well, though.

Like, all the, the fucking, his photoshopps are great. Like the one where he was like, where he was like, I've learned that I can only trust myself and it's him just shaking his own hand. Shaking his own hand. That's a good one. That's a really good one. That, he, I want to be his fucking friend now. Like, the way that he's handled this, it's just mad fucking respect.

Some maturity, man. Yeah. Hey, I'm also pretty sure that because of this situation, there's going to be, well, hopefully some good women reaching out to him. But there's probably also going to be a lot of other ethos that are going to be like, oh, I can get this easy. Let me get that Carson Clout, you know, so. Yeah. Cloud is a powerful thing, man. It is.

Dude, when I first heard of it, too, I was like, who the fuck is fits? I was like, who is this person? And I remembered, like, I had been sent like a U-2s. of him. Like the company of U2s that makes all these like kind of like

they're not Funkopops but they're kind of like collectable like vinyl figurines in the same vein there's like one of there's some of John Tron there's one of like Dolan

Dolan Dark and Grand Day and a couple other people I think Jack's films just got his What's that mutton's name? The mutant? Yeah Ricky Burwick

Yeah there we go The mutant oh my God Don't say that Come on man Wait wait wait Does he have a U2s? He has one Is it just a bunch of, is it just a bunch of defective other ones?

Oh my God. It's a bunch of miscreated other ones that made Ricky Berwick. Uh-oh. Are Jack's films, you two's melted in processing. I guess we have a Ricky Berwick. Oh, my God. You guys got to calm down, you know. Jesus shit, dude.

Hey, Ricky's my one. Come on. Look, look, okay. But, okay, we're just fucking her out. But yeah, no, fucking, they sent me one. They sent me two of fits early on. You have two fits? Yeah, they were sending me some, and they were like, they sent me a dole and dark.

They sent me a grand A. They sent me Leon, Leon Lushes. Oh, yeah, that's right. And they sent me two fitses. And I'm like, who the fuck is this guy? Like, I just, I'm not even kidding. I didn't even know who this guy was, but I just, I threw those in the garbage. Because I just didn't, I just didn't care.

And it's also just some dude with, like, his logo on his face. Like, it's not even really a person. Oh, those are those. ones? Yeah. Oh, okay, I know what those those are. I've seen those. Yeah, I took it out of the box just out of curiosity. I was like, what the fuck? What is it? Who is this? And, uh, I don't know, I just thought that was fucking mildly amusing. How come you don't have one of those things, man? I haven't done anything, note, I haven't done anything not worthy in years. All of them are like, you should have one, Chris. You should have one, Chris. I mean, why not just make it?

You gotta, you gotta, you gotta join the hype train. That's okay. I don't, I don't need, I don't need people making plastic figures of me and then putting him in a cum jar and and then fucking going on them. Yeah, I don't know. Well, yeah. That's what I actually, I would love Justin Wayne to have him because that's exactly what would happen. Oh, yeah, for sure.

The worst shit would happen to his fucking. He attracts the most creepy people ever, bro. He just dwells in the darkest side of YouTube, like, honestly. No, I don't think he, I don't think he's that bad. I mean, I don't think he, I love him, dude, but yes, his shit is like, whoa. I would say he attracts the crate, like the, the, the denizens of the internet or anything. The Denizens. You know, his videos really, they really speak to a certain type of people.

Definitely. Like you said, the Dennises of Reddit and everything. Like he makes, I love his videos. And it's just the type of stuff that I see people replying to his tweets and whatnot, they're very interesting people. They kind of remind me of, I really like following Too Mad's content because he's too mad. Do you know that He's just

The crazy He's legitimately the craziest dude I've ever fucking seen And I think it's real Like I don't think he's trolling And do you know what that is, Sweeney? Not at all

He's this black dude That you've probably seen this meme Where he's like Hey girl like I'm about to go to bed You know I'll see you tomorrow Then he falls It's like he's shirtless

And he's pretending to be all suave You never seen that before? No, I have not seen it actually Damn That was like a really viral thing Did you see that he was trolling all of those Zoom classes and dressing

up like an African dude. You see that? Dude, it's the funniest shit. Like, after we're done, you need to go watch that. Him chloin the Zoom classes. It's fucking, it's so funny. That guy's hilarious.

I'm sure people listening know who he is because he's pretty, he's pretty out there now. Oh, I do know who he is. You know, that guy's Ryan. That guy's nuts. That guy's fucking nutty. If I call you crazy, you're fucked, bro. You're definitely wonky.

On the topic of YouTube drama, there is also a recent, really, really, really, really, really, really recent thing. Caterino's been going on for at least like a week or two, I think, at this point. Yeah. But the most recent thing, I don't know if you heard about all this. Derek. Is all this H3 stuff, I guess, with some ordinary gamer? Gamers. Yeah, yeah.

Mutahar. Mutahar. I actually just made, okay, so I was finally going to make another, I have a solo podcast, kind of like a Bill Bird type of thing. And I just shot it last night. And as I was finishing it up, I was like, all right, I saw that there was that drama going on. So I talked about it. I want to talk about it.

It was really interesting to me. And I saw that the videos that Mutahar or Mutah made, they were down. Like the one's criticizing Ethan And so I was like And I was like Uh, that's uh I was like fuck He's probably gonna make a response video

And then sure enough When I checked it was up And then I had to scrap it And then I made another one this morning I just actually published it So it's been on nice It's I gotta say I just want to say this that

It was the I can't believe How quickly the beef was kind of resolved It was so Just squashed with Muta Making his report his apology.

He basically, the timeline, right, was Muda made a video calling out H3H3 for saying he was donation shaming Jeff Bezos. And then the video turned out to be factually incorrect. And Ethan called up, Lloyd didn't call him out. He sent proof on Twitter showing that, oh, no, I never did that. When I talked about Jeff Bezos, he hadn't even donated yet. I was speculating if he was going to donate or not.

So that was the extent of it. And essentially Muda made a follow-up video Kind of instead of apologizing He said that he did take an L But he also said You know he gathered like 10 Ws So it was still very egotistical And very like

Ooh that wasn't the best response And I think that kind of triggered Ethan To make a fucking like 30 something minute response to Muda Yeah And I watched it Yeah it was a pretty big It was a pretty huge video

A bit longer A bit longer than it needed to be I think. Yeah, agreed. He was definitely charged, so that's why he had that one for so long. And I totally get it. I totally get it. I totally get it because I love it when people come at me for shit that is just so

factually incorrect. It just, there's like a gleeful anger in it. Because it's like, oh my God, I just get to just be right for 100% of the time here. And it's going to be easy. Like, I've definitely done that before. And it's a very, it's a very liberating feeling to, work on a video like that. But also, that video definitely could have been a lot shorter.

There were a lot of repeat edits that just went on too long. It was like, ah. Yeah, yeah. Like, I like Ethan as a person, but just trim it up a little bit. Trim the fat a little bit. A little bit. I will say that, yeah, you don't, it's not really an ideal line of attack to go after somebody who you perceive to be egotistical and then go about it in probably the most egotistical.

and then go about it in probably the most egotistical way I've ever seen anybody go about criticizing someone else. Yeah, it was very much so stroking yourself, and it was weird. I don't know. Yeah, like, I don't really have a problem with either of these people. Yeah, same. But I got such an air of like, it didn't feel like Muda was, like, confident so much as he was just kind of braggadocious and kind of self-congratulatory. Like, it did not feel like a confident take-down. of somebody else's take or opinion.

It felt a lot more like I'm going to kind of make myself look real good. Yeah. It was like really strange. It was like, don't, it's like the worst line of attack you could possibly. It was definitely a little weird. And what I speculated is that because I've seen a handful of Muda's videos and I thought they were good. This one was so like, I was like, what that, where did this come from?

And what I'm speculating is that the Ethan hate train is, extremely lucrative. So I felt like it was like a really good opportunity to go hard in the paint because there was obviously, there was a video that came out like a long-ass video by this dude named Gokinaru that came out. Yeah. And then that was the thing that got Ethan a lot of criticism. And so it's always been kind of, you know, dwelling in the background.

But it wasn't until the whole Idubs and Anisa Onlyfans thing happened where Ethan came out and defended Idubs where he was like being. being hypercharged. Like he was really angry to the point where Ely was even like, hey, maybe you should calm down. Yeah. And he's like, no, I'm not going to calm down. And so that kind of, you know,

I would say that was Ethan's fault by, you know, he didn't need to do that. He didn't need to do that at all. And so it's kind of like he's having also kind of a hard time staying away from this shit too. You know what I'm saying? Like, he has every right to respond, obviously. He's his own person.

He do whatever he wants. Oh, for sure, yeah. But that was just, I felt the same way watching I felt the same way watching Mooda's video or it was like this is kind of uncharacteristically like like the level of like you could feel like anger in Mood his video and it didn't feel like the situation really justified

even like a fraction of that anger like you definitely could have gone about criticizing Ethan in a way that was a lot less passionate. It was not so much passionate as it was like I was just charged. I think passionate's a pretty good way it's like it's weird to be passionate about somebody making fun of Jeff Bezos like it's just such a weird

Like even if like I'm not even going to say that Ethan didn't donation shame because I'm almost kind of certain that he did. I feel like he had to have at some point. Well, I actually, sorry to cut you off, but there is, and this is why I respected Muda when he, when he apologized, because there was a clip of him, of Ethan kind of shaming him a little bit, kind of like throwing some shade when the Australian fires were going on. Jeff Bays was donated a million dollars and it's only like 600,000 U.S. or something around. on that and uh they were kind of like uh is that like a good thing is that like kind of shitting on him a little bit but even muda was like uh come on guys i just i fucked up like just just drop it yeah because that was because that's the thing it's like even if he really did

like the thing about this whole situation is that even could have literally Ethan could have been so much harder on jeff bezos and i still don't think i would have given a shit you know what i mean like it's just same Like, who cares? 100%. Like, it's not that big of a deal. In my video, I also said that I know a guy that went to jail for 11 years for attempted murder. He came out and became an upstanding citizen.

He's now, like, you know, he has a family. He's doing great things for himself. He has a good job. And I'm saying, like, the fact that people are acting like Ethan's worse than someone who tried to kill someone. You know what I'm saying? Like there's people that have done some genuinely horrific things in life. And I feel like they do deserve shame and ridicule. But like Ethan, oh, what did he do?

He had a bad interview with Bill Burr. He says some shit that's, he has some bad takes. And all of a sudden he's like this. Oh, he's the worst. He's the worst, man. I can't trust him anymore. He fell off. And I'm like, I don't know, man.

Okay. Okay. This is where I come from. This is from me, someone that's not really involved. Like, I'm involved. I'm not really involved in a whole, like, online thing. People care too much about everybody else's business. It's just a real toxic level of, like, people wanting to be involved

and having so much to say about other people's lives or statements. And it's just like, you guys got to, like, really just take a step back and just do your own thing. It's madness to me. Like, I've never looked at a video online when someone's put and really gave a fuck about it. I heard it and I was like, oh, I disagree with that or I agree with that. But I've never really cared. It's always been really strange to me. There needs to be, the way I always went about criticizing anything for like a pretty long time was just, if I care enough about this to respond, I need to make sure that I also don't care enough about it to be truly furious.

Sure. You know what I mean? Yeah. There needs to be like, I kind of care about this and I'll make a video about it and I'll kind of have fun with it. But the second the passion goes beyond entertaining is kind of the moment. where it's like, okay, well, this either needs to be a very crystal clear, very, very concise, very well-reasoned video, or it's just not going to happen. Yeah, I agree with that. And that's how I try to operate most of the time. And I can really only think of one time and maybe there's more. But one,

or I was genuinely mad. And I'm talking about, like, I tried to record the video three or four different times and I was still just angry was when Zoe Quinn, uh, basically her lying, got that dude, um, Alec that she used to work with that indie dev. Like, that dude, like, killed himself because of all the ridicule he was getting because she made up allegations that he assaulted her and abused her. And it was all, it was all fake to the point where there's, as they say, receipts of them still being cordial on Twitter. She's that stupid to where she made up all this shit. And there's proof that they weren't, uh, they didn't have any bad blood or anything at the time.

she was claiming all this shit happened. His name was Alec Holoka, if I, I was hard to say his last name, but he was somewhat of a prominent indie dev, and he basically had mental health issues, and because of her shit, he killed himself. And she just went dark on Twitter for a little while, but then came back as if nothing happened.

She got a job with Marvel. Everything's fine, and I was genuinely pissed off that this girl is still around doing some horrific shit, probably trying to get some clout, whatever the case is. and then I was just so mad. Like to me, I feel like that's genuinely warranted

to be like, like say the way that Muta came off, I would totally understand if he came off from that way because someone fucking died. You know, like, yeah, yeah. I agree with you on that. Yeah, you even talked a little bit of shit about Jeff Bezos. Oh, fuck, man. Fuck me.

Yeah, yeah. Just Jeff Bezos. Like, oh my God. Like, he's, I mean, he's clearly done a lot. Like, it's Be real, he's done a punch of fuck shit. Like, someone talking shit about Jeff Bezos isn't, isn't the worst thing to do. I mean, people,

you know how many people work for amounts to get paid? Like, that's where you could have went. Like, that's a valid thing to make fun of Jeff Bezos. But I think that, like, Muda just was genuinely too, too involved in that whole thing.

Like, I don't... It felt too self-serious, I think. Yeah, like, I don't feel like Ethan's a bad guy at all. Like, I don't think he's a bad dude. And I don't think Muda's even a bad guy, but I think the amount of intensity that was involved in both of those statements was a little just a little much, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. Because if someone talks shit about me on the internet, I don't give a fuck, I'll just make fun of them. And I'll be like, hey, you're stupid. You look dumb. That's something horrible to them, and that's it. That's the best way. If you can operate that way, that's fantastic.

And I tell people that I try to give them advice because they say, how do you deal with, like, criticism or people talking shit? And I told them that for most people, and even I had a conversation with Jordan Peterson, and I told them that nothing bothers me, nothing really. And he kind of called me on. He was like, I don't think that's true. and then we kind of came to the realization, or at least I did, that there's an initial sting that annoys me. Like when I see somebody saying some shit, I'm like, what the fuck? And then I maybe have like a minute or, you know, however long it takes just to think about it.

And it usually comes to the conclusion that, you know, if someone's really trying to hurt you, there's usually something going on in their life that's kind of bringing them to that point. And I don't think they genuinely believe that shit. I think they're just kind of in like a dark space. and because usually people that are really, let's say people that are enjoying life typically, they're not doing shit like that. They're not talking shit to people and like,

oh, you fucking piece of shit, I hope you die or whatever. They're usually just kind of chilling and minding their own business. And so I try to think of that. Or I'm like, yeah. Yeah, I think that's also fair. I have been mad exactly once

when I was making a video and it's, it's on the Snartang channel, actually. It's really old. It was like a response to one of Cat Black's live streams. back when Lacey and I first started dating and everybody was flipping out about it she streamed like seven hours or like seven hours I think multiple times

like an insane amount of just about me and us and about like why this was like a bad thing and that people should mobilize to break us on it was some fucking crazy shit and I was just like why do you care dude it's the strangest shit and I think it's called blocked I can't care man

it's like I couldn't like I just don't give a fuck I think that's kind of dangerous but still like I just don't care like It just bothers me when people just like get that involved With like shit that's not People get involved to me all they want They get asked all these questions They can say all this shit

And if it's anything that's not true I'll just dispute it and I'll be able to dispute it But if it's like if it's anything that's like Any like if it oversteps a boundary I just don't care it's like hey man You do whatever you want As long as you're not literally bringing harm to my life Dude there was a time

there was a time this is real dude in that in one of those life streams where she was like I couldn't believe this when I heard it because it's just the most baffling and it's aged brilliantly now where like she was like really you're dating chris reagan i would have i would have been happier if you were dating sarga oh shit it's sargon what joined you kiff or something like the aging the aging of that statement was wild and i was so like i just could not i don't know it it's it was just insane like that was the end angriest I've ever been on camera for sure. I'm sorry. How in that line of thinking would dating Sargon be better? What? I was I was too right wing than the the comedian guy that

makes the parody music videos and shit and does the recaps. That guy's way he's way more right wing than a okay. I don't know man. I don't know she was crazy like I don't know I don't know what the fuck she's doing right now, but like, uh, I'm sure it's, I'm sure it's very sane. You know, when I was active on Twitter, uh, no, sorry, when I was active on Tinder, uh, she, uh, she had a profile and she was like, uh, rarely you would see on Tinder there would be a verified checkmark on there, which I didn't even know what the fuck that meant. I just like, maybe you're involved with the company or something, but she was like actively on, on Tinder and I was just like, oh my God, like, I have to match with her.

You want to know something really? You want to know something hilarious? What? This is true. And this is on video. This is on Elvis the Aliens channel. I did a Tinder trolling episode with Elvis. Oh, God.

Where Elvis made a Tinder profile for me and acted as me. And I made a Tinder profile for Elvis and acted as Elvis. Yeah. And I, as Elvis, matched with Cat Black. Oh, no shit. I must have forgot about that because I definitely saw that video. And it was wild. It was a wild coincidence.

I couldn't fucking believe it. The simulation is fucking broken, man. I could not believe my luck in that moment. That's fucking, dude, that's great. I got to go back and watch that as, I was actually wondering, somebody tagged me on Instagram saying, hey, do a Tinder trolling with Elvis. And I was like, I was like, tell that nigga to fucking start it up again.

Because he hadn't made it in fucking forever. It's been a while. But I guess he put out a tweet saying that people have been out. asking who should I do it with and that's why people were asking and I was like good because I do that shit is that is so funny especially the episode with with Bunti like yeah that was great's laugh it's just it's think I saw that one actually it's it's one of my favorite it's one of my favorite videos it really is what I've probably seen that video like at least five times or something I really like it it is a really good video it's good I'm excited for him to bring it back

because that's a fun concept, dude, just fucking with people on Tinder. It is a good idea. Elvis is really good at just finding formulas that work really well. I wish I was half as good at that as most people are, but Elvis is particularly good. Like, just people ruin everything as a concept. It is so simple. It is.

Yeah. Even though it's literally like the most basic idea possible, but he just made it so if anybody tries anything like that in the future, it's automatically going to be like, you're an Elvis. You're doing Elvis's thing. You fucking Elvis clone. It's like, damn, dude, you got a

fucking, you got a monopoly on making fun of fucked shit. Like, how do you do that? Yeah, that's so good. It's insane. Brilliant madness. That good on him. I would love to have some of the close,

the only thing that I have, and I thought about it, I started Twitter trash in 2017, I was like, I can't believe I'm still fucking doing this. It actually kind of, I didn't even, because I didn't realize how long I was doing it, and it's definitely not as popular.

as it used to be, but it's still, you know, every once in a while, an episode will perform pretty well. And I was like, I can't believe this is actually a, I didn't think that it was recurring that much. I, for some fucking reason, I thought, I don't know what it is. I just, I'm losing time and track, and I'm losing my fucking mind, and it's actually kind of concerning me. Yeah. Yeah, the closest thing I had was the musicals. That was like the one that was always, that would always explode. Oh, yeah. And then it got so tiring. Yeah, there are a lot of work, dude. It was just such a fucking insane. saying like they were all basically like cartoons like I had people fucking like

storyboarding them and I was just like this is a lot I'm tired just thinking about asking people to do this we got through pretty much most of what we had to say I feel like about that shit I'd imagine yeah let's see we got some questions from our I was waiting for this part from our beautiful patrons over at patreon.com slash the snark tank podcast no it's not the snark tank podcast not really No, it's just a Stark Tank on Patreon. I fucking work on this thing, and I don't even know what it's called. I'm inept.

Mike Childs wrote in. You know, it's funny? I'm not even sure if that's a joke. I think that might just straight up be his name. I know, he's like, fuck, man. Childs. What is weirder? Hand fetishists or foot fetishists?

Are hand fetishists a thing? Is that a real thing? Probably. Probably. People are fucked up. People are broken. I can attest to, I dated this girl. in 2018 and she told me yeah if you had bad hands i i wouldn't be able to date you and i was

like what i never even i've never heard of that but i apparently some people if your hands look gross or something i guess it if it off it's it offends them i don't know that's not that's not fetishism though is it that's that's just like i mean like if you if you were dating the foot thing isn't a fetish either then no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no the the foot thing is a fetish, specifically because the people with foot fetishize the foot. The hand is just like, let's say you were dating somebody, right? And

you know, you talk to them on Skype every now and again, or like you talk to them on Discord, and it's like, oh, we should meet up. It's like, okay, I can't wait to pipe you. And then you meet up in person, and you meet up at like a fucking Chipotle or something. And then she has fucking Jack Skellington decrepit fucking witch hands. And there's like, there's like a, they've got like very, Marcos veins and the knuckles have like jagged edges, I'm sure that's something that might at least

make you want to turn the lights off or at least imagine someone else's hands. All right. So that's very true. Your argument has base in it. But what I'm saying is that reaction would be the same if they had very hideous feet too. No, no, no, no. But the way you're described. Look, the feet are more hidden than hands are.

So that's one thing for sure. But the thing is that if someone has very decrepit hands or feet for me, I'm going to be freak the fuck out because that's just weird. That's a part of your body that looks like it belongs to a fucking zombie. Right. So I'm going to be scared, obviously. But the hand is unavoidable. The hand will always be

in play. In any kind of physical altercation. I hear what you're saying. I think that, and I guess I didn't really probe the situation and ask her, oh, are you like, do hands turn you on? The only reason why I assume they do, because

there's not, I don't think she meant like some deformed, disgusting hands. I think it was probably something that was very, something that we wouldn't have thought of. It's kind of like say, when I see feet, I just think they're feet. But then there's the people that are really into feet that even a normal foot that looks normal to me, they think that, ew, it's gross, it's symmetrically this or the pinky toe is that. I'm like, what the hell are you talking about? I think feet are disgusting. I will say, like, I met a girl in like 2015 with horrendous hands.

And it did play a part and I was like, you know what? I'm just, I'm not going to. Like, I was, there was clear interest shown. And I remember turning her down specifically because I just couldn't imagine dealing with those hands. I couldn't imagine someone really bad hands. It's like, hands are so like. You know it when you see it, man. Yeah, I feel like that's definitely the case.

That's all I can say is like you just know it when you see it. Yeah, I hate feet. I hate feet on my heart, dude. Like, I just don't think feet. I think feet are gross. I don't think feet are gross. They're just feet. I just think they're nothing.

They're just feet. Yeah. I think they're gross. It's like knees to me. It's like, oh, you, like, I don't like people's feet touching me. I don't like, when people's feet touch me, I get, like, I literally like, don't do that again. So if somebody kicked you, you would be like, don't do that again, weirdo? Oh, yeah, more so.

Even more so. I'd be like, hey, dude, stop. I'd be double angry. It's like I got kicked and they feet touched me. I don't know. Feet are, feet are, like, ugly. But they're not like, but they're not attractive. I wouldn't say they're, they're just like not.

Attractive. that appealing. Yeah, I don't, I don't understand. Yeah. I don't understand why people are into them, but I mean, I think it's just, you think it's like, what is this, some genetic disposition? Like, what do you think, what is it that like when people? People, it's just different things, dude.

Is this different things, man? It's people just are hardwired differently. That's all it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm like, if you like feet, fuck, whatever, do you do you, man? Real quick question. Do you guys think necks are attractive?

No, I don't think. I'm not saying. this for myself, I don't, I don't think necks are attractive, like personally. I mean, a neck... Can a neck be not nice? I guess a neck could be not nice. Yes, I mean, you could have a, you could have a swollen fucking you know, chin neck. Like one of the fucking, like, frog-looking necks. Yeah.

There's definitely gross necks, for sure. I've definitely seen nice necks, I guess, but it's really just more of... I feel like a neck is just more complementary to the overall composition of a person. You know what I mean? Where it's like... They just enhance it. Yeah, where it's like, oh, that goes, that looks, that looks appropriate matched with that body and head. Yeah.

So it's fine. Whereas if, like, there was some, whereas if there was some, like, mismatched, like, fucking bullied child fucking around on Sims neck. You know, that might be a problem. But, yeah, I don't know. I would say, I would still say, I would still say foot fetishists are weird. Because I at least understand from a what's in play perspective, like, why hands would be, would be. something of a factor. I think that I would agree that

foot fetishes are more weird, but foot fetishes are more common in hand finishing, I guess. Yeah, that's why I assume the other is weirder, because of the fact that, at least I've heard of foot fetishes, I don't really hear about hand fetishes too much. Well, I mean, think about, this is getting pretty deep here, but like, imagine, I would imagine that we've all been with people who have sucked our fingers

or something. What? Yeah. What? You never put your fingers, you never put your hands in, in a girl's mouth? Yeah. She like, she like simulates fallatio on your finger? Yeah. Um, no, because she's going to do that. Like, I'll just, I'll just whip out my pipe.

You're so weird. This is, I would say that that's probably, if I saw that. Common, I imagine. Yeah, it's happened. It's pretty common. But like, if I saw that in like a movie or something, I'd be like, oh, that makes sense. But if I saw someone sucking on a foot, I'd be like, yo, what the fuck? Get out of here.

Go away. This is weird. This is weird, dude. Fall down a flight of stairs and never return. Fall away. That's very. That's very. away from me that's very true i mean i still don't see because i've never had like a girl that's

like i want to suck on your your fingers all the time or anything like that so that's weird so it's like i still don't like said how uncommon it it must i really i'm actually curious about this now i want to find people who have hand fetishes i want to i want to see what the what the fuck that shit's all about you know i'm gonna do a twitter i'm gonna do a twitter poll right now do you oh my god i'm so i'm so curious i am too because i i i've never heard of it until this person and ask that question. I'm like, that's actually kind of an interesting question. What's weirder?

I think because of the uncommon factor of a hand fetish, I guess that's technically weirder. But I definitely agree that fucking feet, liking feet is, is objectively weirder. Like, just, because feet are just, I mean, they're in socks all day. Feet are overworked.

Feet are stepped on. We sweat through them. We always put a bunch of hot shit on them. It's just everything about feet is like, you know. We got to move on. I hate this. I hate this conversation. It's just the worst

The fact that we've talked so extensively about this It infuriates me to no end Secondhand We're just people trying to learn We're trying to uncover knowledge Listen to me, you must stop Ladies, DM Chris, your toes Oh my God, don't say that

Don't say that. Hey, do not say that You better not cut this out either bitch I'll go out My God I'm probably gonna cut it out DM Chris all the toe pitchers All of them More gruesome the better

I'm looking for a jazz I'm looking for like fucking talent. Velociraptor. I want the fucking upper curled toe. You're making it so hard to edit this out. Let me just I want bear clawed toes, baby. Second hand

second hand brand new asked out of the three of you who is the better cook? What's the best or most impressive thing you know how to make? I can't really cook that well. I can cook pretty well. Yeah? Yeah, I can cook pretty well. You've had my cooking

a bunch of times. It's always the same thing. I can cook pretty well. I just, I'm just, that's my best dish. The, the chicken? My curry chicken's my best dish, yeah. Curry chicken. But I can, but I can bake, I can bake chicken.

I, like, I'm really good at cooking chicken. Yeah. I cook chicken really well. I'm really good at cooking macaroni and cheese, like fantastic at it. How hard is that, though? Mac and cheese, it just takes a ton of fucking time. Yeah, it is kind of tedious. It takes hours, dude.

A good mac and cheese is pretty tedious. Yeah, like real mac and cheese, not that fucking crap. Because I bake mac and cheese. I bake mac and cheese. cheese. I don't like make it on stove top and shit. So whenever I make it, it takes hours to make. Like every Thanksgiving, we all cooking, everybody in the house cooks, we throw together food. And it takes me like two hours to make the macaroni and cheese. I used to make pretty good baked ziti, but it's been a long time since I've even tried. I got to start making

pasta again. I can cook fairly well, but my dish, but I don't cook many dishes though. Yeah, I can cook a handful of things really well. I make really good wings. I can make really good pancakes, like really shockingly good but that's like the two like that's the two main like I got you like that's good breakfast I can make

I can break breakfast all fucking day that's just easy to me I can make good French toast hell yeah my French toasts are probably the best in the world I'm confident in that I put some shit in there

I haven't ventured out in a long time now you know I just realized what if this thing if this whole like fucking quarantine shit continues like Thanksgiving is suck. There's going to be no Thanksgiving. There's probably not going to be anyone this year actually. Yeah, that sucks. It's really unfortunate. I can't even make good food because probably all of it's going to be

gone. I don't think the shit's going to contain you that long. I really don't think so. The only thing I am worried about is people being too dumb, too quickly, and there is a resurgence of the virus. That's definitely the most likely thing. Yeah, that's probably going to happen, honestly. I have no faith in people. Yeah, that happened with the Spanish flu, so I'm just like, I don't know. But we'll see, man. I really, I think, because you already seen some of the crazies out there in Texas, you see Alex Jones and people were. And here, dude.

Even in L.A. Oh, yeah. Listen, there are people protesting. And, like, look, I get it. This is rough, right? For a lot of people, they're not working. This is totally fucked. I get it.

I understand the frustration because I would be frustrated too. But protesting in groups. grouped in large groups during a fucking contagion is probably the stupidest thing I think I've ever seen, ever, honestly, in person or on the internet anywhere. Insanity. And honestly, like, this is going to sound fucked, I guess, because I've had a couple people tell me, he's like, oh, that's real mean, Chris. I swear to you, if you're out there protesting this and like gathering in large crowds to protest this quarantine, if you get sick, do not go to the hospital. You do not deserve it. You should not qualify for fucking medical assistance after you just willingly put yourself and everybody else at risk. Fuck you, go away. Actually straight up. I agree. Those people are going to kill people that don't need to be killed. They are completely insensitive and considerate and they're just not worth the money or the time spent on helping them survive, honestly. I just can't. I can't with it. It's just so fucked.

It's just such a fucked up thing. Because then it's like a matter of just like, oh, well, you were totally fine being a complete frivolous imbecile before it affected you. That's the kind of thing where it just infuriates me because it's kind of like this level of hypocrisy where it's like, oh, you know, fuck this quarantine. But also like, oh, no, I'm sick. Someone help me now. It's like, well, what the fuck? What do you expect? You know what upsets me the most is?

is the vast majority of these people that are protesting are, they're conservatives. You can see how they're coming out dressed and everything. You know, Trump signs and other stuff that it kind of shows you who they're affiliated with. The thing that makes me the angriest is that the vast majority of those people, I just assume, are pro-life. They're like, you know, hey, stop killing the babies and all this shit. But when it comes to this virus killing people, they don't give a shit. And I'm like, you can't be pro-life and you're mad that people are trying to save lives. Like, you...

That's a famous George Carlin. That's a famous George Carlin bit, too. It is. Yeah, they want to protect the baby so they can live to be dead soldiers or something. Yeah. Like a really, really great... God, I miss Carlin so much. I would kill to hear what Carlin would have to say about, like, right now.

Oh, 100%. It's insane, dude. Look, if you're outside right now, you have to understand what you're getting into, and you shouldn't be allowed inside afterward. You need to be kept outside forever. Like a fucking dog with fleas. Like, just don't come back in here. And look, it's not a fear thing.

You know what I mean? Like, people mistake fear with preparedness, and it's like, listen, you can go out and you can do the things you need to do, but you need to just be mindful and careful. Like, I understand if you're just not affected by this at all, then it's just, it seems like completely alien. You're like, what the fuck are people freaking out about? But I know people who have it. I know people who are not doing well with it. I know someone who passed away with it, dude.

Yeah. So it's like, it's not. Someone who passed away with it. It's really bad, man. It's not this hypothetical thing. It's not like a conspiracy thing. Like, this is a real... Bro, it's the...

It's 5G, dude, shut up. It is 5G. Actually, you never mind. It is 5G. Yo, if that's, if it is 5G, bro, the world's going to change, bro. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? Can you imagine, oh my God, some kid downloading fucking Flappy Bird 2 through a man and then he

fucking passes away in front of him? It's insane. The data from the data from Flappy Bird 2 killed my uncle and now I have to, I'm going to prison. If it's actually 5G, the planet is going to be different. I'm going to be, I don't even, that is so inconceivable to me. It would be. like would how would that like how would people how would they handle that information that somehow those conspiracy theirs were 100% correct even though against all odds that's just the beginning

that's just the beginning of the storm that's just a one small part of what's going to happen afterwards yeah there's going to be big fallout i'm not typically the kind of person who unless it's like for the sake of entertainment value i i won't dig my heels in if I'm wrong on something. So if that actually did have it to be the case, I'd be like, well, I guess, look at that. I guess I'm just a complete fucking more. Yeah, I'll admit it. I'll be like, I'm stupid.

I'm a fucking idiot. Because you have to. Because otherwise, you're just like, what, you're going to pretend like you're not wrong? Oh, yeah. Yeah, when you're wrong, there's another thing I don't understand about people, particularly on the internet, people, when they're wrong. You got to admit you're wrong. Like, be an adult.

Like, come on. It's like, you're wrong. I wonder how many people do it for the sake of just kind of, because, Because I definitely have arguments a lot. And a lot of the times I know that I'm wrong immediately. But I'll just have the argument because I just think the act of arguing is kind of fun and like just inherently entertaining. And it's just like a way to pass time for me.

You're a maniac. But for me like the whole North argument, right? We were arguing that, right? And literally in the middle of the conversation, you could see me realize how wrong I was. And I was like, fuck. Oh yeah, the North conversation. I am wrong. I'm wrong about that.

What's the North conversation? So we, so we had, I don't remember what the context was for this. I think we were just hanging out and somebody, I think Gabby was recording us. We were arguing about whether or not you could infinitely go north, to which the obvious answer is you can't, because North, North stops. What was it? Like, if you go, if you go north forever, you'll eventually be going south was the argument. And it's just like, that's not true.

Because you can't go more north than North. Well, there is a... There's a difference. So it's because there's magnetic north and then there's true north. Right. That's true. So basically, and there is tech at a technicality, you can always go north at a technicality. But you wouldn't, but no, but magnetically you can absolutely not because you can only, you will go to magnetically north.

You will stop at the north pole or you will fucking stop in the south. I totally agree. I totally agree. Like, say, once you reach the magnetic, the north pole, once you start going past that, you're technically now you're going south because now you're going to be heading towards the south pole. So I understand what the same.

For me, I understood the idea that you could head the direction that was north infinitely. But the thing is that it will no longer be actually north. He'll be heading that same direction, but you will no longer be heading north. It's a very semantic argument. It's very semantic. It's very semantic.

But it got heated. Yeah. We were screaming at each other. It was really bad. It was really bad But then I admitted I was wrong In the middle of the conversation I put my hands over my head

And I'm like no I'm wrong So obviously So obviously Derek is the best cook Is what this Yeah Oh my god Yeah

Are you a good cook actually I don't know if we answered that or not I didn't say shit about it Wait did I say that? You said you make bomb French toast Oh yeah I did I did say that But I do too though

I made good French toast I bet my French toast are better All tell me a recipe man Tell me tell me a recipe You're a French toast Okay You're really easy Okay, it's eggs, milk, preferably wheat bread.

I'll take white if I can get it, but preferably wheat bread, honey wheat. It's a real bomb. And then some cinnamon, a little bit of sugar, and then vanilla extract, man. Vanilla extract closes it out, man. Trust me. It does something different to it. Mine's relatively similar, but I got to use artesian bread. Artesian bread, okay.

It's fucking, it's so good. It's just really It's just much fluffier I think there's just more of They leave it in a little longer Maybe a little more yeast or whatever the fuck they use nowadays It's just really Compliments the

It just makes it better It's kind of like say when you make fries You can fucking fry any potato you want But if you want to make legit French fries You use Yukon gold So it's just like one of those little things It's insane dude like trust me And you know what makes dude

Trust me guys Vanilla soy milk makes the best best pancakes. I don't know how it happens. I don't know why, but the best pancakes, but also like, trust me. Try it, guys. I got to say that I, my kryptonite in life is I can't make, I can't make pancakes. It doesn't make sense. They, they always come out fucked up when I make them. Even if I have, like, they have pre-made batter and like those, you can like, just shake the thing and pour it in the pan. They still come out fucked up for me. And I can make, I can bake cakes. I can make lasagna

but I can't make pancakes it's just my weakness pancakes are weird because they're like I can't make pancakes either they're really simple but they're really like fickle so like you got to be like real specific with like the heat and like what you because I used to I usually make them

with um every time I make pancakes they have like a golden kind of crust to it it's almost like a like a pizza I go around the rim with with butter and then it gives you this like fucking crazy like delicious crunch and it's so good and I've never had it like like that anywhere. I love when that little crisp is there.

Like my stepmom or whatever, she would make the pancakes like that. They would have that little crust. She was like an expert at that shit. There's no other way to make pancakes in my opinion. Yeah. Dude, we got to go to this one place when all this shit's over. In downtown LA, there's the pantry. It's been around for like fucking forever. And I've never tasted a better pancake anywhere in my entire life. And I've been, I've eaten pancakes. I thought this one place Florida was like, oh, they had, they, they were the shit. But this place is ridiculous. I feel like, and no joke, I think they're putting drugs in their pancakes.

Because the response your brain gets when you taste them, it doesn't seem like just normal fucking sugar spices or whatever. It seems like LSD or something has been mixed in the battle. Oh my God. Because you're like. Like real addiction. Because it's so good. It's so ridiculously good. I question what's in there.

And I guess it wouldn't surprise me. It is L.A. Yo, dude, honestly, the best French, the best pancakes ever had in my life was some place. And it was in, like, L.A. proper. It was, um, it was just random place, like a big, like, big pancake house where, like, it's really super crowded. And it's near Vine Street. And they have such good fucking pancakes there, man. They're huge.

They're good and they're not that expensive. They got the crisp? Yeah, dude. The crisp is like, it's insane. The crisp is the deal breaker. It's insane, dude. It's so good. good.

Because I can deal with, I can deal with, like, the, you know, the, the, the, the cartoon-looking, you know, I-hop pancakes. They're fine, I guess. But, uh, that crisp really, like, fucking sends it. I'm getting so hungry talking right now. You're telling me, I'm gonna fucking go order pancakes after this shit. Fuck me. Yeah, let's move on. Literally, I'm starved.

Yeah, let's move on. Zach Fox official wrote in, hey, how's it going, my fellow beans and homies? I don't know what that means, really. I don't know what that means. I'm new to the Stark Tank Patreon and hope to see. support you for the long haul. Question for you all. If you had to pick between God damn it. Being a furry or having erection erectile dysfunction, what would it be

why? What would you choose? I would, oh man, fucking. I'm leaning towards erectile dysfunction. Me too. I'm leaning towards it, man. That's a little harder for me, man. Furries are just so confusing to me. Furies took something really important for me and I'll never truly forgive them. What do they take from you? Werewolves, man. Oh, yeah, that's right. They stole them from me, and I'm so, I'm so bitter to this day about it.

Like, I'm really upset about it. How they made something that I thought was so cool, just weird. I just made it weird. And it's like, damn, man. I might have to go with, I, this, it is a hard decision, but I think I might have to be a furry because I, I, I don't want to live without erections. I just, I don't, I don't want to. There's medicine for erectile dysfunction There's no medicine for furries

Okay, if we can use Cialis and shit, then I'm all day Then I'll do Eidia. I want to be a Cialis king. Call me Captain Cialis Because I can't become a fucking furry They stole It's like real hatred bro

Call me Aurora more Cialis Dude, I feel like The furries are like The fucking elves and Lord of the Rings And I'm like the orcs I just can't forgive them I just can't do it Like no matter how much I try

There will always be a little bit of seed of just Disdain I get it Here's the thing too I'm just going to go ahead and assume That just based on being a human being You're probably going to get erectile dysfunction at some point anyway Like that's just how the human body works

Right like at some point like it just It doesn't work like I imagine like around like 60 or like 70 or something like that Probably is not really working all that well anyway. You know, that's something that's an inevitability anyway. But like, if you were guaranteed to become a furry, that's like a world that I don't think I could deal with. I agree.

Especially now that we discussed that, you can use boner pills. There's no way in hell because there's no way. Who, who's going to, if you're like. Oh, my God. That's so fucking raunchy. That is so fucking. dank of a fucking statement. Holy shit, bro.

Who's gonna fucking... I mean, legitimate question. Come on. But no, yeah. He never said, he never said you couldn't use, like, if there was some provision

that you couldn't use boner pills, then it would be, there would be a, more spirited debate here. More spirited, but still, what, you still, it would still win.

Yeah, I think I would probably still win. But the thing, but the thing, But the thing about me is this, look, my penis has been so reliable. Okay. That having a rectile dysfunction would really fuck with my mind. Right.

Because I feel like I would, I would feel like, oh, but I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling too good right now. Then I'd leave and I'd sit down to my bathroom. I'd be like, what's happening? And my life would start falling apart. Yeah. Because I'd be like, my penis has always been the first to the party, the last one to leave. And now he's just, he's just chilling out fucking retirement. that can't happen. That can't work.

I feel you, I would get a bionic penis, actually. I mean, I almost think it's like kind of like, you know what, you've done your job, you've paid your dues, you know, take a rest. You've earned your, your pension. Nah, dude. I need, I need to stay poking, dude.

Like, I wouldn't be like. Would you still have, would you still have the sex drive, though? Is that how that works? Yeah. You probably, yeah, you probably just can't get it up. Like, you probably want to, but you can't. Oh, that sucks. These doesn't wake up, you know.

He doesn't perk himself up anymore. I just kind of assume that you just wouldn't care because it wouldn't. I think when you're old probably, but like if it was right now, I don't think because I don't think you're, I think you, because you still have a lot of testosterone and one of the reasons why your dick goes down is you don't have those hormones that much anymore. But I feel like say, you know, ED is a problem for some young men, but I think it's more of a psychological thing. And I'm assuming that's what this situation would probably be since we're so young. That's hell, dude. That's got to be worse, man. That's such a weird thing to think about because I'm like, I'm going to be 26 at the end of this week and like that's alien to think of like possibly happening.

Well, your own 26 isn't that like calm down. Like, yeah. No, no, no, I'm saying like I'm still young. I'm still a young man. Yeah. But like that, the idea of that being a future to me. Because like I remember when I was in high school, that shit was a bother somehow more often I would get fucking erections. Oh yeah.

And then eventually in life it's like, man, I'm just not getting him anymore. What's up? Did you ever, whenever the bell rang or whenever class was dismissed, do you ever just like sit there for a couple extra? Yeah, I would either sit there or I would adjust it so my belt would be pushing it against my pelvis and I'd walk out a little weird. You're standing awfully straight up, Kingston. I'm like, yeah, I know.

I would just sit. I would just sit there and wait. And people would be like, you're all right? I was like, yeah, I just got a headache. You know, I'm not feeling too good. No, see, I was pretty good. So I usually wore hoodies I started wearing hoodies like all the time when I was 13

So then that problem was kind of Oh that's a cheat code Yeah so that was great However when I when I got in high school I just stopped caring I got to the point where I'm like Yeah You were that kid that walker with a fucking bono

Oh yeah 100% Like I didn't give a shit Oh my God I'm afraid I'm afraid of people I literally if someone If I touch someone by mistake especially a woman sexually in like a place like if their leg and their backs like I'm like oh my bad I'm sorry did not mean to do that Please don't yeah I I I looked I I locked eyes with a girl once by accident

And I waited until after school to kill her because I didn't want her telling anybody that I locked eyes with her Like I was so I was so scared Okay, you're you're a monster but I definitely I don't even hug women actually What I don't even hug women? I like Oh come on that's it that I don't I actually don't because I'm like I'm like I I just don't need this. I don't need this static right now.

What the fuck is wrong with you? You don't hug women? People, I don't really hug women, honestly. Gabby's one of my best friends. I've never hugged her once. Really? What's wrong with you? I give Gabby high fives.

That's it. That's so weird. That's really strange. I don't hug women. I don't hug women. I don't want to touch you. That's, oh my God. That's just paranoid at that point.

Ew, you have a vagina gross. I don't want to touch you. Ew. That's disgusting. Where are my boys at? What does that say about, what does that say about your girl? What does she?

You don't like vagina? What's going on here? They're usually kind of icky. Okay, Zach Seagworth wrote in. I'm done with this. I'm fucking done with it. Zach Seagworth wrote in. You guys talking about Mass Effect made me want to boot it up again.

Are there any nostalgic games you guys have been wanting to go back to for a while, but haven't? I would say making my legends. One that you've been thinking about? Yeah. I actually, because I realized that I never even. even finish the sequel. And I was like, shit, I got to do it. So I actually

have a, I have, I have, I have the second one now, but then I thought it's been long enough to where I haven't played the original, so I should go back and play that first. And so I have been thinking about that. And that's, that's one of my favorite games. It's probably in my top, and it's definitely my top ten, maybe in my top five. Yeah.

I've been thinking, like, I think between Final Fantasy 7 coming out recently, and being really good, and just Doom in general, of making me think about early, early 2000s, late 90s. I've been thinking a lot about going back to Odd World, like for years already. But now I'm like really like, oh man, I should probably like go back. Because I used to love those games.

This games were so weird and dark. They freaked me the fuck out when I was a kid because there was this one, I remember this one, like, you know how the PS1 cutscenes were, how they were just like really fucking janky and fucked? Yeah. Oh yeah, absolutely. Odd World had like some of the best ones I'd ever seen. Like they looked they still look good today like you know aside from the fact that the resolution is low like the model work and like the animation is all like really solid

But there's this one scene where like one of these like Moodakins one of the aliens turns around and looks at the camera and his eyes are sewn shut Oh my God and it's like the most visceral It was like on par with like the The zombie and like Resident Evil one turning and looking at you when you go down the hallway. I love that shit. I like that's a good I love that shit so much. That shit fucked me up because that hallway looked exactly like the mezzanee in my apartment building in Yonkers. So it really, that shit fucked me up like way bad. I couldn't finish. I couldn't even start Resident Evil One until I was like, I played that game. I saw the zombie turn around to me. I was like, that's my fucking building. I

can't do this. And I waited, I think, I think straight up, I think about 10 years before I played it again. Oh wow. Yeah. Not necessarily because I was like thinking about for 10 years, but just like, it came back up 10 years later. And I was like, oh, you know, I remember, I remember being too scared to play this. But I miss a lot of those older PS1 games. PS1 is just such a treasure trove of, like, fucking fantastic IP. Legacy of Kane is so good. And it's just not really a thing anymore, which is a real shame.

Yeah, I definitely. I think for me, have to be Mario 64. I want to play that game again. But I want to play it, like, up-res. Like, I want to play, like, a modern iteration of that game. Because I feel like it's still, like, nostalgically, I love it. but like I wanted to look better, you know? That makes any sense.

I almost like the way it looks. Like I like the charm of the jack. Like I feel like a lot of the PS1 in general and like the N64 had a lot of charm in the way that In just polygon shit. Yeah, just how angular everything was. Like as much as I like the new crash games, I think CrashDefacing is actually fantastic. But like when the crash remakes came out, I remember feeling like something was kind of lost because a lot of the characters were a lot rounder in like the remake because you just have far more. more polygons to work with, you can make circles more convincingly.

But Crash always stood out as like really edgy in like the 90. Like he had like this really like sarcastic design about him. But like in the new ones, he's kind of like he's more like a plush almost. I never considered that, but you probably just ruined it for me. I don't think it's, I don't think it's bad or anything. It still looks like a, like the Crash remakes, the insane trilogy is still good. He looks very furry. Yeah, yeah.

He looks like a, he just looks like an anthropomorphic creature. But like in the original games He looks like this like He has just all these sharp lines And his mouth is like Digging into his face Because it's like I don't know There's something like really deranged

About the way Crash looks Looks looks Uh looks I just fucking said looks Jesus Christ Looks There's something really deranged About the way Crash looked

In the PS1 Versions of the games Versus like his more modern Kind of cartoony vibes That I think is kind of lost I think I want to play Halo 2 also I want to play Halo 2 again I want to play Halo 2 again

I want to play through Halo 2, Super Mario 64, and then I think Chrono Trigger. Those are the three games. I never played Chrono Trigger. Chrono Trigger is one of the best JRPGs ever, man. That's Toriyama, right?

The Toriyama style one? Yeah. Plenty things I played Chrono Cross before Trigger. What the fuck, bro? Yeah. Bro, Chrono Trigger made me cry, bro. Cochonotrigger made me fucking tear up. It's not like a pussy.

But yeah. It made me cry. Yeah, absolutely. Ouch. Thanks. Thanks, Drick. Yeah, come on, man. I've definitely...

I don't know. I'm trying to think of, like, what made me terrible was... But anything, like... Anything... I can't think of anything... Mass Effect didn't make you tear out? Ever? I wouldn't know what I was trying to say is not, like, any...

Modern stuff, absolutely. I'm trying to think of, like, something back in the day like that. I was trying to think of, like, did something really touch me in that way? The thing is that game just to make me tear out because when I was younger I wasn't a fucking maniac and I didn't fucking shell my feelings off so much

So like When I would let myself feel like I found a fantasy crisis core When Zach dies Spoilered it I guess I don't really care But when Zach dies in Crisis Corps I literally was so sad

Because he literally was like the good kid That did nothing wrong And he just tried to help everybody out Because he's like We're not monsters We're just people And he gets killed by the army That he would protect it for so long

and it's like, wow, that really fucking sucks. I think in general, like, when I was a kid, video games didn't make me cry. I don't even think really movies made me cry when I was a kid. And when I was a kid, I was just like, I didn't, I was very, very aware that everything that I was watching was fake. Like, I never had, like, this weird kind of, I know kids a lot of the time are really convinced that, like,

what they're seeing is, like, kind of like, I just kind of was always aware. So, like, I never really got that invested as a kid because I was just too preoccupied with that knowledge. But when I was older for sure, like I think Bioshock Infinite had like one moment that made me tear up, which I was like really shocked at because I was like, what the fuck? It was like, the end of the game.

Not even the end of the game. It wasn't even at the end of the game. It wasn't anything that was like really, it was a completely missable, like optional moment where like there's this bar in like one of the versions of Columbia that you go through. I think it's the one where like the rebellion is in charge or something. And you go into this basement of this bar. after you fight everybody up top

and there's like a guitar and you can like play the guitar and then like fucking Elizabeth like starts singing and there's this kid who's like hiding and like the fuck it was like a fucking it was like a Pixar ass moment

and I was like what the fuck is this doing as an optional sequence in a Bioshock game it's just fucking crazy Bioshock Infinite definitely had me had me confused and like heart heavy

but I didn't cry I like that game a lot I know people don't it was really fun I liked it a lot I cried when Dom found his wife actually When Dom found his wife That definitely made me tear up

I was like fuck dude really like it was like That was so depressing because he fought so hard Yeah and they did so much impossible bullshit And then he found it like that and I was like man that really really sucks Yeah Don finding his wife might be the first time that I recall feeling like genuine sadness So that was definitely that was a big moment From characters anyway

Yeah especially from like I said gears Yeah One of the last games you'd expect Dude, the one that got me for sure, though, the one that got me for sure was the first Walking Dead, the Telltale one. Oh, yeah. When, what's his name dies? At the end, when Clement time, dude.

When Lee. Lee dies. It was me when Lee at the end and Clemendman, that was so heart-wrenching. When Ducks Dad died, that was hilarious. Like when the Ducks Dad tried to jump off the gate and then it fell down and got impaled and the zombies came and ate him. I laughed my ass off. But when Lee dies, that was really sad.

Yeah, I don't think I ever had. Because Kenny, you can have him be in the second game. Yeah. And I definitely kept him alive. I love Kenny. I hate him. I kept him around. Yeah, that's why Doug dies.

Like, well, no, no, no, no. I had, um, what's his name? What was the old guy's name? The old guy that was old, that owned the farm. Herschel? Hershiel. Hershiel. Yeah, when Hershey's, I always make Hershey's son died.

Because, you know, the, like, Kenny becomes, like, one of your best friend. And can we, can we, can we? I'm so mad that you could not kill that old piece of shit that has like the heart attack. You remember that guy? Oh yeah, yeah, I do remember it vaguely. That guy was the biggest ass, like they wrote him so well that like I wanted to reach into the screen and kill him. That's when you know you like wrote a really like piece of shit like a good character. That first telltale game is really, really good.

It's fantastic. They never really surpassed it ever. Like it's kind of wild. Because they were floundering around. for a long time. They had like back to the future. They didn't really have a like a real hit until that game and then every game after it was judged by that standard, which sucks. Because that was a really good game and it's probably a really hard one to follow. Yeah, for sure. I tried some of their other stuff and it was definitely like lighting in a bottle. Yeah, I've actually been sitting on their last season on the top Walking Dead. I haven't played it yet. Like I bought it. It was like 20 bucks or whatever. And I just haven't because I was like, I'll get to it eventually. Dude, I remember when they came out with 400 days. This is like immediately after the first season.

It was supposed to bridge the first season to the second season. I was like, I don't care. Like, I already experienced this. And, like, I'm just done with these characters. Like, I feel like I've gotten all I need from this world, especially back then when zombie games were just so fucking common. True. Or at least, like, starting to be where it was just like, I don't need another fucking zombie thing. And, like, what are you going to do?

You're going to make me cry again? Like, I don't care. You're mean You're mean You're asshole, go away Like we already saw Like The beginning of The Last of Us is sad

But I didn't cry Yeah I didn't cry You didn't know the characters long enough To like really cry Yeah You know that was super fucked up It's definitely like It's I think the strongest part

Of like the beginning of the last of us Is just that it's acted very well Like it's performed very convincingly Like the When Joel is like fucking crying It sounds like a real person It hurts It hurts, but it doesn't make me cry.

I'm like, oh man, this is really unfortunate. It's like empathetic. I was just going to say, imagine that is the beginning of a sequel. Because that would be, you've heavily invested in these characters and then something like that happens in the next sequel. I think that would really be heart-wrenching.

Oh, yeah. Jogut his head blown off in the beginning of Last of Us 2. Like blown a smith of fucking reams. Like he gets Negan, he gets Negan, like fucking Negan, bat his fucking head to fucking juice, fucking gushers his fucking brain. I'm excited for The Last of Us, too

As much as I don't really care That much about The Last of Us as a game Like, I always felt like The Last of Us Was pretty solid as a game, but like Yeah You know, it wasn't really like Mind-blowing

Like the story was really good And the character was really cool So I'm looking forward to that aspect at least But man, it looks like it's never fucking coming out Because this thing is delayed indefinitely Fucking wild I can't remember the last time that happened to a game that was finished. Can't think of anything off the top of my head.

I mean, obviously, like, we're in very, very unique circumstances, but it's still kind of wild to see just like, yeah, the game's done, but it's not coming out. It's like, what? Feel bad for all the people that are, like, ultra-hyped, you know, that there were big fans of that shit. And they're like, you know, the naughty dog, like, heads that are like, fuck, yeah. And now they're, you're fucked. For the time being. There are definitely games that I would say, like, had really profound moments of, like, emotion that weren't necessarily sadness.

Like the ending of Halo Reach when you're fighting on that planet is like really fucking amazing. It's like, it's really sad. It's not going to make you cry, but it's like it's almost like a different kind of depressing. It's bewildering. It's woeful, actually. Yeah, yeah. I can't, I can't do anything. I'm going to die.

Like when you take off your helmet and you're just still fighting and fighting and I'm just like, oh my God. That is such a fucking ballsy way to end a AAA first person. shooter where you're just on your own in like a field and you're just doomed to lose. I fucking love that. It's so fucking just beautifully done. I've always wanted to like put um an infinite health mod and see what happens. You could do that now. You would just you would just keep fighting. You would just keep fighting and fighting and fighting and fighting. Just keep going and the waves. And then you I guess you win. I want to play I want to play that curse halo mod so bad because it just looks just totally fucked.

Like there's like wardhags with there's like there's like limousine wardhogs and like sniper rifles with flaccid barrels and and yeah I've seen it I've seen it and there's like a blunder bus that like you have to you you reload exactly like a blunder bus and it just like blows everything out there's a rocket that shoots behind you. There's a pistol that where the the barrel is pointed towards your own face. So if you shoot it you kill yourself and you have to and you pretty much just have to throw. your pistol of people to kill them. And there are like D-20 like Dungeons and Dragon dice that like have random chances to like spawn enemies or like get rid of all the gravity

or like create a sun or like make all the enemies dance or like explode into confetti. It looks just like a fucking cluster fuck. I might stream that. It's like Gary's Mod Halo edition. That sounds awesome. It's a fucking disaster and I love it. It's like the limousine word hog is like the best thing.

That's just this long fucking awkward looking piece of shit. That's bananas. Yeah, I love it. There's so many good video games, it's insane. Like, I think about, I think about just, I mean, obviously, there are times that, like, I remember being, like, 2007 is, like, one of those years that I really fucking adore because there's just so much shit happened that year.

And that was, like, I think, prime time for, you know, Xbox Live and, like, the environment of just being... Online gaming. Yeah, online gaming was just, like, I think that on console specifically is, like, that time was, like, Primo. 2007 to 2009, where people weren't just kind of in Skype chat rooms or party chats and, you know, people were just always on the mics and just talking, talking shit. It was a lot of fun.

Yeah, classic. But I don't know if you could say that just by virtue of how time progresses, I just don't think you could say that you're ever in a better time for video games than the time you're currently in because you just have access to all the new shit and everything else that came before it. Yeah, you always have the infinite amount of video game shit. You can listen. You can, like, absorb.

It may not hit the same way I did before, but it would definitely still be able to feel it. Yeah, man. Like, I had no idea that I was going to like Final Fantasy 7 this much. It's a great game. Yeah, it is. And particularly, the new way they're telling the story is fantastic. It's really good. I haven't played it yet, but I'll get to it.

I mean... Did you play the original? I didn't finish the original. I kind of liked it, but when I was... I got more into eight, because that was when... Squaw. Seven was a little bit before when I was really paying attention to Final Fantasy. And Final Fantasy 8 came out and it looked pretty interesting.

I liked that Squall sword gun. That really intrigued me as a fucking kid. It was super edging. Awesome. I loved it too. And I remember I had a lot of fun with that one. I remember my first summon was that weird teradactal thing and I named him sexy thug. I had a good time with that guy.

I had a good time with that guy. So I don't think, I think eight and ten are the only ones I ever finished. And then I just usually dabble with them. Even same thing with 15. I play them and then I just kind of like, this is, I don't have time. I don't, this game's too fucking long now. I'm kind of the same way.

Like I was never a final, I just was never really that big into turn-based stuff. Like, so I didn't get involved with that shit until way later. Like, probably like 2013 was like the first time I really said, all right, you know, I'm going to try and like these kinds of games. I found like a Child of Light was like the first one that I played that was like really really that grabbed me. I was like, oh, this is good. That game was really solid. And I was like, all right, well, maybe I'll like this. And Final Fantasy 7, I played only like a little bit of it,

and I didn't really like it. But one thing that I always, like, adored about it was like the soundtrack. The soundtrack of that game is fucking incredible. It's top tier. It's like one of the best period. Like, it is still, like, I have no real nostalgia for Final Fantasy 7 at all. Like, it is, it is completely, it is completely absent from my time as a child. It is, I have no memories tied to it, there's no feelings tied to that music from childhood, nothing. I heard that soundtrack in, I think, like, 2010 or 2011, and it was fucking still incredible. Yeah, it's great. And I was like, damn, this is amazing.

I don't like this game at all. I don't care about it at all, but this is fucking... I feel like it's the same way that people feel about Halo, honestly. Like, there are a lot of people who, like, oh, man, I'm not really into it. It's like, oh, whatever. It's a mediocre first-person shooter, but I don't think anybody would... I don't think anybody on the face of the earth. would suggest that

the soundtracks of those games aren't fucking incredible. Okay, wait, I have a question. So, if Arbiter dies in Halo Infinite, would you cry? I would cry. I might. I'd cry tears.

I don't want to talk about this. Let's move on. I'd break down. Straw cab. I'd shave my head. I would brand myself in solidarity. Oh my God, just like him.

Yeah. I was actually going to, that was the first. tattoo that I was going to get. His mark? Was the mark of shame. I was going to get it like on my one of my arms or something, but That might have to be to move for me, honestly. Straw cab, I wrote in, Hey Thing One, Thing Two, and Thing Three. I recently heard about the guy who finished all three Dark Souls games in a row without being hit, and it blew me

away. Got me wondering, what are some insane gaming feats you've, uh, you've done or seen? There was one time where I was playing Halo 5 out here with you, and I rocket launcher some guy in the air. Dude, I think And I did that by mistake That's pretty basic You know what? I'm thinking

I'm thinking That dude That we were watching The Street Fighter guy Who parried all those Fucking Cates and Daigo That's legendary

That's something different That is He's different from us I don't play those games I am not really good At Street Fighter I played a little bit Of Marvel

versus Capcom 2 A little bit of Tekken 2 Some Smash Brothers And that's like Bloody Roar 2 But that's my extensive that is my extensive fighting repertoire.

Like it's very low. It's not really the genre that I focus on. But I looked at that video without knowing any of the mechanics of that game and even I was like that is fucking insane.

Yeah, he's a different breed. Absolutely. It's just, it's knowing that if he would have missed one of those parries, the chip damage would have killed them by blocking. So it's just like,

it's such a, I don't think there'll ever be anything better than that. The thing about parries in third strike is that Perry's, are you dashing at the hit. So what happens is he's pressing forward and dashing at every single hit.

So if he would have fucked up one of those, he would have just died. That's it. Yeah. Which is fucking madness. And dude, I've never done anything like that. That's truly like too good. It's one of the most impressive, impressive things I've ever seen. Like for, like, I think it might be the most impressive thing I've ever seen.

Because I can't, I, nothing else is coming to mind at all. Like, I can think of things that I've done that are really cool for me. You know like oh man that was that was cool. I can't believe I did the fact that I would say I'm pretty proud of the fact that I was able to get the Crash Team Racing Platinum as quick as I could because that was such a fucking exercise in in monk level preparedness like it was so hard and so painstaking I destroyed one of my controllers I step and I kept it next to me in case I needed to destroy it some more because it was just so much pain but like that's not anywhere near fucking this digger go shit. Like I just couldn't I could not believe that when I first saw it and I still really can't. Yeah, I can't. The closest thing, because he mentioned

Dark Souls and the funny thing is I think that dude popped up in my recommended of the guy that not getting hit. And because I think he, if it's the same guy because I saw a guy he did something not getting hit and then he also did just for a second

to just maybe a couple weeks ago. And I looked up something and it popped up on my recommend and I was Like, that's fucking, I just don't have time for that shit. That's crazy to even try to do shit like that. But the closest thing I was, at least I was happy about it, I was streaming on Twitch was I beat Ornstein and Smow. I think on my second or third try, I can't remember.

Whatever it was, because everyone was like, dude, the hardest bosses. They're the hardest. Like, that shit will fuck you up in the Dark Soulswood One. I don't think they're the hardest. They're definitely hard, but they're not the hardest. Who's the hardest in Dark Souls 1, in your opinion? I don't know, man. I don't know.

think the last boss is harder than Arden's smoke you think they're the hardest fuck no you can just parry the shit out of him i mean yes but like you'd have to figure that out first you have to figure out how to beat Gwen first you know like you're not going to understand that pairing's gonna work and then pairing's not the easiest aren't in the smog is hard it's definitely not the easiest there's two of them you're fighting so that's kind of hard one guy's like fat and trying to smack you with a hammer and that the dragon slers trying to stab you and shit like all crazy like all super far like it's very hard but then you know once you use the pillars to your advantage you can kind of like you know yeah that's very true sorted but pretty much people were telling me like that's the hard the hardest boss and

i i think people usually struggle with it it's got okay i was playing cuphead last night and i and i think it was one of those situations where um i was stuck on this carnival like roller coaster boss that's not that hard, but it took me an hour to beat. And then, one of the harder bosses in the game, the dragon that everybody bitch is about, I whipped his ass fairly quick. So I think it was just one of those situations that

I sometimes struggle with things that are perceived to be easier, but like a lot of people say, oh, he's the worst, or Ornstein and Small were the worst, and I fucking whipped them so quickly, and I was like, maybe I just got lucky. That was like something that was actually proud of. I was like, oh, it's fucking cool.

Yeah, pretty dope. I can't beat any boss in Dark Souls on the first try I just fucking can't because the first time I'm just trying to figure out how to do it Even if I've done it already The only other thing that I can think of That comes close to that is that one street fighter match again Where There were like two people fighting and they did the exact same moves every single time

That was ridiculous It's like watching it's almost like somebody edited the video And like did like a what is it a horizontal mirror edit because they were just doing the exact exact same movements at the exact same time the exact same hits that's probably like the craziest thing but that's not really a feat so much as like a crazy thing that happened yeah

because they're not like trying to do that you know no there's like this is the best outcome and they're both just doing it the exact same time but like the daigo thing is like he was absolutely trying to parry all those things and he did it and it's fucking crazy yeah diego's legendary that's like the most famous evo moment Even a woman 37, if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, I think after I found out about that, I watched a documentary on the dude. He's also a really dope dude, and he's just like genuinely a robot, though.

What do you mean? Like, he is, like, he is, he knows, like, it's like frame data down to the point he knows shit. Like, it's terrifying how much he knows about that game from, like, just every frame. Like, you have to know everything. Like, the thing is that that ultimate that he blocked wasn't just like an on-the-ground ultimate. He had to jump and then parry it still. That's hard. That's insane, actually.

It's, it's, it's pretty fucking, it's pretty crazy. And when I, when I was really young, I was annoyed that, like, say, if you go to a practice room, that all this data and this hipbox data was there, I'm like, what the fuck is this shit? I was just trying to practice the move so I can just get them down. It wasn't until I got a little bit older. I'm like, I understand this. Like, there is so much attention to detail. Like all these little things, people have taken all this shit into account and they know how far you need to be, how fast this thing is in these frames. And I was like, this is fucking crazy.

It's insane, dude. It's insane. Fighting gamers are, they're a real different breed. You guys are real. Keep it up. Oh, man. I have a micro dick and one ball rode in. Oh.

Oh. We're talking about this before. Like, do you think, if you, how would you feel if you had a, like, a microdick and, like, a microdick. but a macro ball. A macro. What do you mean? Like a fucking, would you say like a dragon ball? Yeah, like the one ball, but it's the size of like, you know, Gohan's dragon ball hat?

Like the dragon ball on. Oh my God. Fucking little Gohan's hat. Yeah. I don't know. Really stupid, by the way, that they put a fucking dragon ball on a hat, but like, whatever. Because it belonged to Grandpa Gohan. You don't even know the lore.

It belongs to Grandpa Gohan and no, no, no, no. I understand. I understand. Plus, they live in the middle of. bum fuck nowhere, Goku and Chi-Gi. Sure, yeah. He wrote in, you become God for 45 seconds with no ability to extend that time. What do you do?

I would appear as large as possible so everyone on Earth can see me simultaneously. I guess I would have to glow too because it would be the dark side of the earth. And then I would jerk off. I would just hopefully I can finish in 45 seconds. I think that would be well worth it. I would kill all deep sea life. Like everything, everything in the darker, the dark, deep, dark parts of the ocean I would kill, except for whales. I'd eradicate them.

No, but you would essentially be doing like the halo ring thing, where you would be, you would just be destroying everything that the whale eats and starving it to death. No, whales don't eat things in the deepest, I'm the deepest parts of the ocean. Are you just just the deepest? Like when it's dark down there, when you can't, actually, no, I'm not going to do that. I would just re-free some of the polar ice caps. or some shit like that. Like, I would do something that help the planet. Because I'm like, oh, man, I want to have kids one day.

Maybe I should help the rest of the world out. What is your brain? So you go from possibly, possibly irreparably damaging the fabric of the planet. The fabric of the planet to also like, I want to help the planet. Maybe I'll freeze some polar ice caps. Like, I don't know. Like, it's either extreme good or extreme bad for me, man. Like, it's never in between.

Like, I don't want to do mesh shit. It's like, fuck that. Mesh, it's not really going to matter. I would imbue an object with all of my. godlike powers and then wait for the 45 seconds to be up so I would just be a normal person and I would then control that imbued object. You just want you just want to have dominion over the world. You are just you are the you are the embodiment of the European mindset of the 1400s.

Why would I give up the power if it's there? You're going to turn down godlike power forever? Yes, the fuck I would because I'm a man. No, you're a god. No, I've absorbed way too much media to understand that absolute power is not good for a human mind. I don't want it because I know that eventually I'll start being, oh, but I'm a God, I can do shit like this, and I'd start hurting people. I would be a good God. I'd be a good God.

No, you would. Absolutely not. What are you talking about? The fact that you're saying that is hilarious and retarded. What do you mean? What's so wrong with? I would be a good God. I would be very, very nice.

I don't know a person that would be good God. My grandma is the best person I've ever met in my life. She's actually a good human being genuinely, and she wouldn't be a good God. Because you know why? Humans have biases, and that is dangerous. I don't have biases. You're stupid. You're stupid.

You're dumb. You're stupid. You should fall asleep forever. I don't have, I have not a single bias in my life. You're dumb. You just said people that are standing outside during the freaking coronavirus fucking gatherings should just die. You would probably eradicate them.

No, no, no. I would definitely section them off so they couldn't infect anybody else. You are definitely, you are definitely not worthy of being a god. I don't know anyone who is. I think you would be shocked at how good I would be. I would be shocked if you got that power because I'd kill myself. Because I would be looking at like the god leaderboards and being like, okay, who's? Chris, you're my friend and I still wouldn't want to be alive in a world. You are a God.

No, but listen, listen to me. I want you to understand what I'm saying. You would probably make my life pretty great, but I still wouldn't want to be alive in that world. Like, you would still make me have a good life. And I'm like, I can't be a part of this. That's a major assumption on your part. I would definitely not do that. Okay, you see?

You're exactly that. You're a fucking maniac, dude. No one deserves God-like power. And if you get it, you should kill yourself. Honestly, as mundane of an answer, it would be as it would be. I would probably just, I'd probably just try and pour my biases into the Halo dev team. as as as because I can't think of anything else that I would do because I think I think you're right ultimately like I don't I don't want to do anything like crazy because then like I don't really trust I wouldn't trust my own judgment in doing crazy shit like that like changing like any like if I went back in time and like made it so Hitler was never born or something you know what I mean yeah like I don't really fuck up the I don't know what that would do or like how that there's too many unanswered fucking questions about doing anything major like that so I'd probably just be kind of selfish in a way that isn't super harmful it's just like, ah, you know, let me just...

If anything, I'll just give myself the game that I want. I would just, like, try to fix the planet. I'd be like, hey, that's just, like, you know, I'd get rid of COVID-19 or something like that. Or I'd do something like help the planet, or I would do some fuck shit. I just don't understand the logic behind that. Because I am the exact embodiment of a good person and a fucking monster at the same... Well, I'm not a monster. I'm not that bad, but I'm just like wild, you know?

I'm chaotic, so I want shit. You're just so... You compliment yourself so often. Yeah, because I'm a fucking maniac. I guess so, yeah. Just CM wrote in, and he says, What's the stupidest excuse you have ever given someone about anything? When I was a teenager and I forgot my girlfriend's birthday,

I told her I had to throw her gift out the window because I was afraid my parents would find it. Funny thing is, she believed me and told me not to worry about it since I had already spent money. What a piece of shit. That is wild. That's so funny. Fuck. One time my grandmother was like, Kingsney got to be home at this amount of time. And I was like,

cool. And I came back at like 3 a.m. And she was like, do you know what time in it? I was like, it's three. And I was like, really? I didn't know. And I said that. I said, oh, really? I didn't know it was that time. That's crazy. When I was a kid, we had, um, we had this crazy like bouquet of fucking chocolate. I was like, I think it was like 10 or something or like, or like maybe eight or something. Like one of those. And I snuck into the kitchen at night and ate all of it and threw all of it away, like all the wrapping and everything. And when my parents woke up,

they were like, did you eat all the chocolate? Why'd you do that? But I argued consistently that the world is unknowable and it's probably a ghost of some kind. You're just a manipulator. You're just a fucking mastermind entirely. Like I don't, I never.

made someone's brain. Because why would I lie about it. It's just, you know, it's just chocolate. If it was just, if I ate the chocolate, I'd say I ate the chocolate. It's not a big deal. It's just chocolate. But I didn't eat the chocolate. Why would a ghost eat chocolate, though? Well, there's no evidence that it was eaten. It's just missing. I can't deal with you. I can't. But that, you think that's what ghosts do? They come back? I don't know. I was a child, man. I actually, like, I actually, what I did, too was, like, I rearranged the dishes and I, like,

opened some of the drawers. Oh, my God. you are actually a fucking maniac. I made it really like, I, I, you literally fucked with your parents' psyche. You literally made your parents believe that they were fucking haunted just to eat some fucking chocolate. They were a demon.

They were a demon. You are the demon. Look, unless they're fucking turtles, the fucking chocolate turtles, which are by far the best chocolate. They were chocolate. Okay, that's a little special. So special, but still,

I wouldn't break my family's fucking mental state thinking we're haunted. Oh my god, you demon. I pretended like my grandmother tumbled down the stairs to get out of a date once. Oh my God. So have I. So have I.

What is wrong with you two? I literally pretended my grandmother was sick. My fucking healthy-ass grandma at the time was like, oh, my grandma's sick, I can't make it today. And she was like, oh, that's fine. And I was like, cool. And you know what I did? I went on a date with another girl. That's fucked up.

That's fucked up. It's not good. It's not. I know. It's really not good. I was definitely not a good young man. The dead relative thing is a pretty, like, I can't even tell you how many times my dog died in science class. Oh, my God.

Because I forgot my homework. And I was just like, oh, man, I can. The same class, my dog died again. Yeah, it was like every week my dog would die. How many dogs do you have? Only one, but he keeps coming back. He keeps coming back and dying. At this point, I shouldn't be relying on it staying alive anymore, but I can't give

Jesus Christ Now is about the time To wrap things up Yeah yeah Hopefully you guys enjoyed this Drunken stupor almost I feel terrible I feel sick Honestly like I don't feel good at all

I'm starving like I feel weak Yeah I'm getting like the The hunger sweats Let me guess you guys are gonna get Gus's fucking chicken or what Yeah I'm already ordered Gus It's gonna be here like in minutes Oh really? Yeah In the middle of the fucking thing I was ordered chicken

I was like I gotta eat I'm fucking losing it Just some house cubing before we go. There is currently a thread up on the Patreon exclusive for patrons. This is every tier, by the way, with some high-resolution PNGs of some of the merch designs. The way we figure this would work is, you know, if you donate to us, that's enough to warrant you having at least like the files in case you, like, want to print your shirt yourself. As long as you're not selling them, it's not really that big of a deal. So they're up there for you at any at any patron tier The merch will go through soon

I just received some test prints It's looking pretty good So that'll be out pretty shortly If you like what you heard today consider supporting us over at patreon.com slash the Stark tank At $1 a month gets you early access to Every episode $5 gets you a question right on the show There will be a change in the next few weeks to the tier system

$10 will be a Discord invite as well as all previous rewards and then 15 will be the tier that will get your name read at the end of the show just to help smooth things out. It will be a couple more weeks just because we want to get the Discord set up in the right way. Yeah. Because I'm just a fucking idiot with Discord. Like it's just such a cluster fuck of an app and I just I hate just dealing with the back end of it. Yeah.

So it'll take a little bit of time, but that's kind of in the cards. I know some people are asking about, like, whether the video podcast will happen. Because of all this shit, I don't think it will. We could do webcam, but that's just the whole other layer of editing that I just don't feel like, honestly, I just don't feel like dealing with. Yeah, I feel you. Yeah. I hear you. I just, I mean, I don't know what you're hearing in the, I don't know what you're hearing in the news or something like that.

but what do you think, do you think there's, I actually haven't really been listening, but you think there's like a trajectory or whatever when a lot of this quarantine shit's going to be lifted? Have you heard anything about that? They're saying, people are saying fall, fall and December.

That's like early fall, early winter. No, no, no. That's like the best worst case scenario. Like, I think a lot of projections are like around like September or around like August is like when things will start coming down. I don't know if I really agree with that I think it's more likely that... It's not safe, yeah.

I think it's more likely that people are just going to... Like, we're going to have to wait for a vaccine to happen, really. That's the only time that it's really going to be comfortable to go out and do shit again. Because even if the government... If Donald Trump came on TV right now and said, hey, it's fine. Everybody can go out now.

We've got this all under control. I wouldn't go out. You know what I mean? Like, it'd be a while before I felt really confident about the fact that the person to my left isn't going to fucking usurp my being and put me underground by sheer accident. Yeah, it's really terrifying. So I don't know when that's going to happen. We have no clue when the world's going to be back to normal. It's all writing on the vaccine.

Like, the vaccine is the most important thing. The second the vaccine is in existence and readily available, then... The world will get back to the vaccine. things will start to be getting better, I would assume. But any time before that is just sort of wishful thinking. There's always a chance that we could just be like, hey, you know, just let everybody out anyway. The fucking flu kills more people, whatever. Blah, blah, blah.

That could, that's possible. I'm probably still going to stay inside, though, if that happens. Yeah, I've definitely, I've recently changed my occupation, so I'm definitely going to be staying inside. When school starts again and when I can. go to school in person, I'll start going back out again, but that's not going to happen until at least, definitely nursing school is not going to do that until we're definitely positive that we're not going to die from doing it. So I'm, I really don't have to worry about that too. Yeah, that sucks. The second you get into the workforce, you're going to have to deal with all these people. Hey man,

I can help, I can help. Yeah, okay, the person who wants to fucking kill all sea life. Not sea life, deep sea life. Oh, sure, right. You know, like squids and shit and the fucking fish with the sea through foreheads. So like the introspective sea life. Yeah. Yeah, I'll fucking say it. Fuck them. That's going to be it for us.

We'll see you guys next time. Christ Almighty. Stay safe, everyone. Have a good one. Since this is the last week for $10 patrons to get their names right at the end of the show, I'll do this with nothing but glee in my voice. So let's go ahead.

Double O Dolphin. Two-tone, T-posing, toddlers, tongue-punching, sweetie fart box. A level one cleric, Aaron Alvarez, Achman, Acid Bath, Adrian Royal, Aereo, Aetherian, Afterlife Jeffrey Epstein, Alex Jones, Alex Morrison, all hands-on-dick, aloof, the chromosomely endowed ransom, Angel, arsenic and gleeful, Aurora Unit 117, Outs King, Badly Brave, Baron von Thundercocke, Negromancer of Hammerfell, Basscart, Beals above the Gimp, Ben Douglas, BK Dino, Black Nipple Gang, BLT, inflicted with Frenzy Virus 19, Brandon Peavy, Bud Dwyer gave it his best shot, cakes, Foxy PH, Carson Jones, cataclysmic cunt, catmips, Chad, uh, Chief Cruin,

please eat, we're all worried, Chris Stevenson, Christopher Middling, Colonel Colin, the Colin collapsing kingpin, Cooper Lorraine, uh, Crescent Slice, Cyborg, Damian Watson, Daniel Ortiz, Dankhouse, uh, David Connolly, David Delaney, I think I know that guy, Delcann, Decato, Dirkfest, Dodeod. Oh my God, there's four fucking pages of this. Thank you guys, but also fuck. The world-renowned Negro Hunter, Doug Dimidome, owner of the Dimstale Dimitome, Dragazorith, otherwise known as cunt, Drew Hog, Dylan Broadbent, Edward Thiboudoudeau, Elisar Nunez, Eric Pfeiffer, Fennard Fee-Hawdhury, Fy-Gasley, Elisar Nunei, Feelech, Fee-Winyesa, Fee-Wanee, got a train run on me,

so I named my son Thomas. Oh my god. Gucci juice 100% Gucci. Guillaume Oge the Jr. Heartless Wretch. Heelarby Bosworld. Home. Just straight up home. Hugger Derek. Ian Sell. If Smouche was, if Smog was black, he'd be Tom Sweeney. God damn it. Indoxicated. Jabobo. Jacob Arnston. Jake Parsons. Jefferson Steelflex. Jeremiah D. McRoberts. By the way, Jeremiah D. McRoberts wrote a kick-ass fantasy book. and you should check that out if you can. Jose Horwich, Josh Kirby, Joshua Millard, Carson Roth, King of Hapassard,

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That's a good one. It's a good alliteration there. Merrick Free Shot, Mike Gates, Mike Petit, Mitchell Blackwood, Motto Zellet, Mr. H.R. Herbrowski, Uh, Nicola Temple, Oliver Troxyl, Papa John, Polio Pussy Got Me, Disabled, aka Charles Barkley, Pee Extendis, Progerian Rectal Homicide, Rkelly's Premium Lemonade Stant. Richter 86, Rumpel Forskin, nice, classic one. Rushanish, Rusticity, Rusty Cunts, Ryan Preciado, Samuel Lathrop, Sentient Condom, Sergeant Sweaty Sack, Sherlock

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Very good. Well, Mrs. Lincoln, other than that, how did you enjoy the play? Wesley Hill. White Tom Sweeney. Winnie. Yassleen Clemens. Yummy, yummy, yummy,

Come inside my tummy. Zach Seigworth and Zachary Daniels. That is the last time that the drop of name listings will be this. long. So we thank everybody who is supported up to this long, but we also hope that you understand that we don't want a sizable portion of this show to just be reading names of our supporters, because at the end of the day, you guys are paying for podcast content, not to have a podcast

of just your names read out loud, because that would be silly. So I hope you guys understand the reason why we're making this change. I hope you understand it's not a greedy decision. We still appreciate every single donation and every single donation. and every single patron that we got. And we just appreciate you. So we'll see you guys next week for another episode of this frantic, frantic garbage. Bye-bye. Click and collect. Order confirmed.

Dad, tomorrow can we start a band? Can we become robots? Affirmative. Can we go crab battling? That isn't a thing. How about swimming? Dad, can we take a... You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal.

Deal. While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials. Book your free click and collect slot at tesco.e or in-app. Tesco, every little helps. Terms and conditions apply.