The Snark Tank - #187: xQc is a DEMON

Episode Date: November 10, 2023

qxc sucks so much!!!

I earned my degree online at Arizona State University. I chose to get my degree at ASU because I knew that I'd get a quality education. They were recognized for excellence and that I would be prepared for the workforce upon graduating. To be associated with ASU, both as a student and alum, it makes me extremely proud and having experienced the program, I know now that I'm set up for success. Learn more at ASUonline.asu.edu. A little slow, but whatever. Whatever.

Robin. Come. Come. Was it? Raft. I already forgot what it was Iraq. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

Welcome to Star Tank podcast. Iraq Robbins. Welcome. Welcome to Star Tank podcast. You're right there? You're right there, bro? No. No, I need help, Neo.

You know, you. You give it off a big Neo-Vive. Yeah. A big C-O. Reed. Because I was late today because I had to go to the bank for like to run an errand. And then I went to go get some food. And then some homeless guy was at the place that I was getting food,

threatening to beat up the guy who owned the place. He was like, come out here. Come out here, Sammy. Let's fight. Come out here, Sammy. And some kid was like, bro, it's 11 a.m. I was thinking like, how are you fighting at a? How are you?

If the clock says AM and it. It's bright out. You should not be fighting people, man. Like, that's your first hint that things are wrong. You only fight to survive at that moment. You don't fight for pleasure. That's a survival fight. All these people are always on the clock, man.

They're always on the clock. Yeah, you got to watch that, especially if they have the shirts off. Any time of they don't beat your ass, bro. You got to be careful with their shirts off. He walked in there. Yeah. Dude, he walked in there with like a bucket, and he was like, yo, I'll pay you back double.

I'll pay you back double. And the guy was like, get the fuck out the theater, man. What the hell you're doing yet? You can't, I'm getting pissed off, man. And then he calls some guy. He's like, you got to come down here, man. We got this psycho over here. I can't have this, man.

I pay $8,000 rent here. I don't want to deal with this shit. And, uh, it's so crazy. AK, I mean, it's a business, to be fair. Yeah. I wonder how big the business is because that's, that sounds gross. It's a small, it's a small, like, I mean, they're, they got some good foot traffic there. They're the real, they're really the only diner in walking distance over here.

So, like, they get a lot of, uh, they're pretty good. Yeah, you know about the one that everybody goes, the one that we all go to. Yeah, yeah, you know what, I'm not going to say it because I don't want to, you know, draw attention to it. You don't want to draw more homeless people over there. I get it. They'll show up. They'll pull up, bro. Our tremendously large homeless audience would, uh, would take deep advantage of that.

Uh, I wonder how many homeless people. Like, how would you feel if we found out, yeah, how would you feel if we found out that like, like, actually, like, not even just like a lot, like 70% of our audience. I would be so confused. It would be funny if there was a pipeline. What if there was like snark-tained to homeless pipeline? That was very, very, very evidence as soon as you look into it. Like 80%? Like it's statistically undeniable.

Like everybody who listen to this. You eventually become homeless. That is just what happens. Yeah. And that's just like, that's just 90. That's like 70% of our just our listeners, but 100% of our patrons are in fact homeless. That's crazy. That would.

keep giving me your money though like yeah yeah like hey man if as long as you can keep doing that it's all good it can't be that bad can't be that bad if you're still giving us money that would be so like I don't know how I'd react to that if somebody was like genuinely destitute like sincerely but then they were like well I got to donate to this Patreon though because they're making some killer stuff have you seen Gadiobactive that video still gets traffic by the way

like it's like I saw people uh... me and things where it was in their recommendeds. Oh, hell yeah. Which is wild. I feel like that doesn't happen for videos like that. I was mentioning at my friends at Mick, a friend of mine, I was over his house the other day.

And I got an email, the same email that I get every single day from YouTube that says limited, it says, the email is always this, limited to no ads remain on your video, and it will be like a snark tank episode.

It's every, Every single time. And then the title of it will be like Bernie Sanders says the gamer word. And it's like, yeah, I bet that one got to monetize. Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, I think we have three monetized podcasts. I think we have three monetized episodes. That's crazy.

It's only that many. There was one that I was surprised recently that was monetized. I think it was the one. Oh, my God. I'm pretty sure it was the YouTube prankster one. Like where the guy shot a YouTube. prankster and that one has a green fucking thing on it and I'm like are you serious the one that I'm like obviously it's not going to be greenlit like that just pissed me off so much that video

the idea that situation is still so funny because what kind of what kind of gunwielding demon is like that's not the right reaction that is not you don't do that it's like the worst reaction impossible, but also many people. It's the amount of people. The amount of people. It's just like, okay, just something, this is somewhat related. Israel-A-Sanya, he got pulled over for driving on the influence. Everybody was shitting all over him.

Like, dude, what's wrong with you? You're so rich. Why can't you have a driver? Obviously, I totally agree with that. Derek Lewis just got pulled over this week for driving 130-something miles an hour in a 50. And it's Lambo. And then everyone's like, Well, I mean, you got to go fast to your lambo, bro.

Like, everyone's like, the vibe is so different where I'm like, this guy could have ran over several people. And everyone's like, well, I mean, niggas got a Lambo. How are you going to drive that shit 50 miles an hour? And I was like, wow. He could have ran over someone in an attempt to slow down after running over that guy. He could have ran over several more people. 130 miles. I went, I once rented, because this is what you do when you rent a car, right?

Everybody knows me rent a car. You beat the shit out of it. I ran a Chevy Colbolt one time. I'm like, I'll see what this thing can do. I'm fucking, I'm on the 10 freeway. I got fucking going over 110 miles an hour. It's just shaking. And I'm like, all right, I'm scared.

I slow the fuck down. Do you know those? That fast? This is one time, this is a fucking horrible story. So, uh, I was at the summer camp. And we were on the White Stone Bridge at like, maybe the White Stone is by where you're from, right? No, white stone is going to Long Island. What is the bridge over?

by where you're from, Chris. The Yonkers one. What do you? The one from the greater New York City to Yonkers upstate. Tap and Z? Is it Tap and Z? Is it Tap and Z bridge? It might have been that one.

That's the only bridge. That's the only bridge that I remember from my childhood knowing the name of because everything else was just kind of arbitrary. We were over there and we were going back to the camp and my camp counselor was like, you guys don't see something crazy. And we were driving at 150 miles per hour in a van, in a van full of kids. And it got to the point where, like, we were moving so fast and the car looked slow.

Like, there was not enough variety of change in the outside window. And I was like, if this motherfucker hits a bump, if a car decides to pull too close, if there's a rock that's a little too upright, we're all dead. And I just sat down in the car quietly looking around. Are you talking about the, are you talking about the Henry Hudson? Is it Henry Hudson?

I don't remember which bridge it is. I just don't remember. That's the only Yonkers bridge that I can... It might even have to have the camp. The camp was located in Irvington, but we would go to the city to like hanging out and have fun. Yeah, yeah.

For the summer. It was insane. Anyway, what is it? What is that? It doesn't matter. What's the Yonkers? Yeah, like, what even is that? Like, every time I hear that word,

I'm like, that's not a real place. Yonkers is an extension of, like, New York City. It's like, it's like Mount Verne, and yonkers are the just exiting New York City places. What is the what what fucking person what is is that what is yonkers? I mean

the word is it a name like it just doesn't sound real to me anytime I've heard as even as a young boy I'm like I hear yonkers I'm like that just sounds like some clown shit I don't know like yonkers like it is like like what is that

like niggas younger it is it does sound like a just like a silly clown word. It's so funny because it's desensitized to me. It's just like I've always, because it's just like where I was from. It sounds silly when you think about outside of that context.

I've never, I've never asked, and I'm like, oh, here's some New Yorkers. I'm going to ask them, what is, what is it? Why is yonkers yonkers?

There's like, there's like a lot of weird history there, like Elefitz Gerald and like Stephen Tyler and like DMX and all these people are from you. I know, I know this because people there don't shut up about it. I think the first time I ever really focused on that word, like actually focused on it was when

the creator dropped that track Yonkers. Yonkers. And it made me think about it more. I'm like, what the fuck is Yonkers? It's just such a interesting word. It's like you got surprised or something. Yonkers. The Yonkers, they were called Yonkers with a U before. And that is pretty much referring to the southern portion of the Bronx.

People that said within that area were the Yonkers. Basically, as far as I know, like Yonkers was just like a place where like a lot of growing out there, I remember hearing a lot about how it was really big for inventors around that time. Like around the time that it was settled, it was a lot of like science people kind of living there and like

inventing shit. I don't know what the fuck that really means because I didn't care about it. But yeah, I don't know. It doesn't matter. It's not important. I like it over there, but like also like I would never go back. I would never like live there again. Unless I got a nice house.

If I can get a nice house in Yonkers I wouldn't mind, but... I don't know anything about that. It's so... It doesn't matter. You don't have to. That shit is so foreign to me. It's like crazy.

I remember seeing it in fucking Spider-Man PS4 because there's like a level in Grand Central Station where like... And you can see like where the trains are going. And I remember seeing it's like this is the first time I think I've ever seen Yonkers mentioned in anything that wasn't Yonkers. That was, it was very nostalgic singing in there. Or like Tyler Greater, I guess. Yeah. The fact that I made a song about, about the fact that I mean, because Yonkers means you got what you call.

It means gentlemen. It means the young gentleman. A yonker is a young gentleman? I guess that's why the inventors. I guess that's why it's like an inventor kind of place. It was called the junkers. The junkers before. The junkers.

It means the young gentleman. What the? Yeah. It's not a point. I don't want to. Some clowns got raped there. Can I don't know. Yeah, but the clowns got molested very deeply there.

And fucking, I know what's over there? Edgar Allen Poe's house or whatever the fuck? No, that's it's, I remember taking a field trip to Edron Poe's house or something in like Catholic school or something. I went there too. There's a bunch of goth assholes there.

Just a bunch of dickheads hanging around. No, we weren't allowed to be godd assholes. It was Catholic school. There were people who you, it's so funny though because it's like that really is just something that people are. Because I was in Catholic school where you couldn't really express yourself at all. I mean, you could really. It was like, it was like New York Catholic school.

It wasn't like fucking Mississippi where they're going to, they're going to take you in the fucking, they're going to take you over the altar and come on you and ring you dry afterwards. But, you know, but, but it was, I don't know,

you could, you met certain people there. And you're like, even though they were in like a, like a very clear Catholic uniform and they didn't have makeup on, you could just be like, you're a goth person. Yeah.

I know it. I know it. Like, I could just tell just by your, by your fucking phenotype or whatever the fuck. Your phenotype is, allow me to know hearing. Yeah,

I knew it. Even back then, I knew, I knew it. You're too gaunt to not, you're too gaunt not to be a goth. You walk him to a really thin, really thin, man. And he's like, you're a goth. He's like, how'd you know? Oh, do you know. He's wearing like pink and shit.

I'm magnetically drawn to you. That's how I know. Oh, yeah, that's your type. Shut up. The, that's crazy. I remember the last time I rented a car, like, I hate renting cars because they're so fucking, I don't know, I, they, they never, have the car that I asked for.

It's never like, it's always like, I'm sorry. I know you reserve this thing, but would you take a Jeep? Yeah. And it's like, I don't want a fucking Jeep. Are you insane? When I was like younger, I used to rent cars just to try them out. So I would try out like really like out there. I remember I drove like a, I think I rented one time when I went back to New York, I got

this big white like a, like a, like a six door Jeep, but it might as well have been. You know what I mean? Like those long, like it was basically a Hummer. Just because I was like, I was like, I'm curious what it's like to drive one of these. And it was just like, not fun at all. It was, it was terrible. I mean, it feels nice to be able to run over, niggas, man. Like, sometimes you just, like, you're like a powerful and you just, I was in a...

I think I got it, I got it purely to have sex in a big car for once. Oh, there you go. Because I was like, I don't have a green. Do you have a big car in general? I miss, uh, I just saw an old photo of my Ford Explorer and, uh, it, it fucking, it died a few years ago. And I was like, damn, I missed that, like, just, it should. good for everything. You can pull over and banging it. You can store

extra shit in it. Your house blows up. You can sleep in it. It's just, like, I have a fucking fiesta right now. This thing is just a little bit bigger than my penis. Like, it's tiny, dude. My car is slightly bigger than my penis. Slightly. This is a tiny-ass car. I have a massive

cock, though. But this is small. It's fucking. My cock is a six-door. That's insane. My dick is an eight cylinder, bro. Carrying that thing around. Like, where would you even, where did you even conceal your penis?

You know how you fold up a map? You got to do that to your penis, bro. Anyway, nothing interesting happened as far as I'm aware. So we're going to go into some questions. We got a lot of questions to me over. Do you guys see what I named the episode on Patreon? No. The most recent episode.

Oh, no. What did you say? Let me check it out. Let me check it out right now. So you get you for a bit of it. Oh no. Let me read it. Let me read it for you.

The most recent episode... Oh, no, let me hear you. Is it really... You just named it Rip Matthew Perry, for real? Yeah, look what I... Look at it. This episode, we talk about some N-word that drowned in the fucking hot tub. You suck.

You really... You're the worst person, I think. Dude, I've been... I've been battling... I've been battling what I was going to pull for the thumbnail for a minute. because I was like, okay, how do I not be... You-hoo! Huh?

The Yahoo, right? No, that's the next... Oh, right, right, right. We're recording really ahead of time, I forgot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So... No, yeah, yeah. So, um...

They'll have already seen it. Well, they'll have already seen it by now. That's true. Man, this is, yeah, that is true. But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's the Matthew Perry one that I need in the thumbnail. Literally that's coming out today. It's... Because it's just like, all right, I want to be,

respectful, but at the same time, you know. You should just call it this, call it what it's called, but then just find a photo of somebody who looks almost like Matthew Barry, but not quite. You know what I mean? Or people are like, is that? Or put the image of him spitting up

water from the friends at the opening. So I was thinking, so here's the thing. Without any context, I think it would be so, okay, like, so I was thinking of doing it like kind of opaque. It's a little transparent, but then there's a bigger picture of him looking respectable, but then

very transparent in the background with maybe like 40% opacity you can see him spitting the water out. But I feel like without context, it's respectable if you don't know what it's alluding to. It's respectable as long as you don't understand

it's what you're saying. Maybe you're just thinking because that's oh, that's iconic. It's the opening friends theme and he like spits the other thing that's cute. And then there's us where we know why we're Is it too much? Is it too much Is it too much to take the friend's logo and just kind of like a race? Like, just make it say end.

Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Like, is that? I mean, totally just layer it in this. There has to be an episode of Friends where he was swimming. That is the F-R and I. That is just literally swimming. I just haven't said.

I don't know. I think that's kind of funny. That's but that's not bad. It's actually pretty good. I think I'll think I'm going to work it out. I'm gonna work it out. Yeah, yeah, we'll figure it out. Anyway.

There has to be an episode of him swimming, right? Shut up, shut up. Come on. Listen, let's just move on. I'm trying to get to these questions here. I'm not trying to disrespect. Yeah.

Oh, my God. There's a picture of him in a bathtub. The picture of a bubble bath. Okay. All right. All right. I'm not using it. You can put on a page on.

Can I do this one? Let this, by the way, let this be like a full on. And I'll want to see it. Okay. Let this be a full on confirmation to the audience that Sweenie is as horrible as, as, like, he, he, intents like I edit him to be like the worst person

and this is just him. No, this is just him. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm always the one that has a respect. People die. I'm one that unanimously respects it from the most part. Shut the fuck up. But I don't feel anything for him at all. I feel nothing for this man. That's one of the few times where I can be freely

as, as as apathetic as I can. All right, all right, all right. Let's move on. I got questions. All right. You're lame. We have questions that are our wonderful audience over at our entirely homeless audience at patreon.com slash the snarktank sends us and we we greatly appreciate them so we're going to read their little comment. This is, I don't, I don't have an

answer to this, but it got me, this question I have no answer to, but it got me thinking about a really interesting premise. So I wanted to run it by you guys. Ned Erdi, or a Ned Erdi wrote in. He says, Hi, Cosmo, Wanda and Juan Dissimo. Remember that Tim Allen movie, the Santa Claus? Yes. Mm-hmm. Where Tim Allen kills Santa Claus and then transmissible. into Santa over the course of a year. My question is, if you had to kill and then become Santa, what would you do? I actually, I don't have an answer to the question, but it got

me thinking about, like, how would you, like, what if this extended to, like, figures beyond Santa Claus? Like, what if you found it, like, what if you were, like, hunting, right? And you killed a rabbit. And then, oh, my God, it's the Easter bunny. And then, you had no fucking idea. And then slowly, over the course of a year, you just

become... You assume the mantle of the Easter money. You start transmogrifying into this fucking creature. Or what other, like, holiday? How much of me is left? I mean, you're, you will end up, like, you will end up a rabbit. So, like, Kingston will disappear? Yes.

You know how the fly works? Okay, okay, okay, okay. I would kill, it's like Jeff Goldblum's a fly. I would kill a leprechaun. To become a lepercon? And I would start saying vapid shit. I'd just go crazy. As I shrink out around, I try to bite people.

I'm tinier now. Do you remember that Disney movie, The Luck of the Irish? Of course. You don't remember that? It was like Irish and became a bupricon. Yeah, I only barely remember it, but I'm pretty sure that's what that movie is.

I'm pretty sure like a kid kills a leprechaun and becomes one over time. He doesn't kill lepercon. It's about embracing your culture of as an Irish person. I wouldn't know. My name is Irish, but I'm not one of them, so I wouldn't know. Yeah, that's great.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I love that for you. I don't be here. Really, really, really, you know, really, you know, I turned Irish.

I woke up with a face and I was fucking like, oh, I, I, sorry, I, sure,

we're already established. We got to record at 11. 30. 11.30. Well, geez, I don't know if it's Irish. What the fuck is that? What is that?

I'm not Irish. I'm Tom Sweeney. They don't pronounce the H, man. It's great. I'm Tom Sweeney. I hate the guys. What's up, my nigger?

It's deter of, November. It's the turn November. We need to record at 1130. Yeah. That sounds so weird. There's, I mean, just like in the other language, there's like, Yeah, no, I know you.

I don't have a lot of experience sincerely with, like, I don't think I've ever met anybody with that. I've met people with, like, Americanized Irish accents. You know what I mean? Where it's like, it's very faded. Like, Chris O'Neill is one of those people. Chris O'Neill had a very faded Irish accent. Guy we know Mark has a similarly kind of faded Irish accent.

vaccine where it's like oh man that's like strange because it's like it's not i don't know if i would guess it was irish but i would clearly tell it i know it's not american it's like very strange yeah i know a few well i mean i one of my closest friends uh she's irish and so her mannerisms like they're all in my head but uh yeah i watch uh this guy uh that chapter he's like the only murder porn guy that I watch. And he's the... I'm sorry, I'm sorry? Wait, I heard something that...

What? He's the only murder porn guy you watch? What do you mean? Yeah, true crime. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. I don't even like snuff porn or...

No, but it's... There was a whole thing about calling it murder porn because of... It makes perfect sense. I understand what you're saying. There's the two types of people. People who find it fascinating. and people were way too into it where you're kind of like

looking at them side eye like, don't you love finding out how people get murdered? Like, I'm the opposite. I don't like when they describe the, the,

the, the, the, the, I like just everything that surrounds it, but then when I got to hear about, oh, dude got decapitated,

and I'm like, oh, fuck, like, I don't really like, but then there's other mother much, like, that's so fascinating. There's always like some fucking,

there's always like some, uh, Twilight Zone ass motherfucker announcing it with like no, so, Like, no hint, like, completely detached, just some cold motherfucker. He's like, this man was found with a perfectly shrink-wrapped copy of destroy all humans rammed up his urethra. And it was fucking funny.

I laughed really hard and I kept laughing. I came a few times, in fact. I came a few times. That's why I said it would be, I think it would be better if you did it. Uh, Sween. Stop being the host of two crime. I'd be laughing. I'd be bugging the fuck.

I'm like, I'm like, this man, wait. What? You hear me like in a middle of re-escript? What happened? This guy got shot in a face 38 times. Top 100 best YouTubers, like most viewed YouTubers if you did it. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because that shit is so popular. You know what's fucking crazy?

I was watching, I was watching like some old montages of like old 2000s TV shows or whatever, and it was like wife swap and like stuff like that. And dude, the 2000s television was so unhinged in a way that like I honestly can't believe. We didn't note it. Like it was just completely. There's this great episode of Wif Swap where some guy is talking about like how like

I don't even know it's like some guy it was like a Wife Swap episode where he's like I yeah I'm you know I'm a secure man I don't need to be validated for it like I know I'm a real man I know what that means

and then it immediately cuts and the announcer and the fuck the VO guy is like up next watch a real man cry and it's footage of him just bawling because he's clearly having a mental breakdown

and I'm like yo that's so nuts next next Stop watch a real man cry. No hint of a, no hint of chill at all. It's funny because like, I think of back a television like that, and I'm like, if you're doing wife swap, right? Yeah. You got to be like, hey, can I fuck this new wife?

Is that cool? That was my immediate question. That was my immediate question. What is that, what is that, what is that synate? Like, it really was a kind of, it's really weird that that was basically like a cuck show. I know they didn't sleep together, but it's like the idea, you know what I mean? Like it's just like, because they slept in the same beds in that show. At least they filmed it like they did.

Yeah. So they tried to get that across. I don't know if that, I don't know how true that is. But like, they did. They got that message across. I'm like, bro, what is this? I can bust on her face. I mean, that's, that's just.

Oh, my fucking. That's like, I'm like, no deal. You got to find somebody. You're no deal. I'm sending her back to send her. Fock. She's returning to sender fucked. Fuck.

And not like, fuck, like, had sex with, fuck, like, damaged. Okay,

well, weird thing to say. Fuck. I mean, good show. Good show. If that motherfucker touching my wife,

I'm killing him, but I'm fucking his. I love it. I love it. I love it. It's a horrible. For thee. Do you ever watch that show,

The Swan? I think it was just called the Swan. I've never heard of that. remember the what's the point of the end game of it but it was no it was it was ugly motherfuckers

getting plastic surgery that's all it was but it was like a game show type of thing almost the way that they had it laid out it wasn't like say a reality TV or something like you would probably imagine it's like there's a stage they just point out how ugly these people are they give them horrible plastic surgery where they look even worse

and then they or just like cup it's it was probably one of the fucking craziest shows I've ever seen because I've never I don't even know what the if you won anything other than you just look you know because plastic surgery back then wasn't even that good so yeah it's still like it's still pretty bad actually I take that back it's okay

it's just people take it way too fucking far I think the technology is there to do it well but people don't know how to it it's like it you know that thing it's like that seems like everything in moderation, I guess. Right. Although this is kind of like different because you don't really, it's, you know, you really shouldn't need any of it. But I've seen people with, who did plastic surgery and it's like, oh, that looks great.

Or like, you know, it's like, that's, that's, that look, doesn't look weird at all to me. And then other people who just look like, like fucking beautiful Squidwards. And it's just like, you are fucking gross. Yeah, yeah. You are gross. You're 65, you're 65 year old woman. You look fucking terrible. Why are you trying?

You don't, I will not begrudge anybody for doing like basic shit. Like, honestly, I'll be real with you. Like, if somebody was, like, old and they had, like, a turkey neck and they want to get rid of that. Yeah. I support that entirely. I support that entirely because that shit looks fucking stupid. And I'm making fun of you always if you had that. If you have that, I make fun of you constantly.

I don't know. When I wake up, I think of you and I laugh. So get rid of that, for sure. But everything else to me seems totally like the whole buckle fat removal thing that's going around. What's that? What's that? So buckle fat, I think, is, I... Look, I'm a guy.

I've not looked into this really deeply. I assume, based on the cursory research that I've done, that there's, like, fat here. Like, there's, like, natural fat here in, like, the cheeks. On your cheeks. That is... Only get it sucked out, yeah. And they get it sucked out to give themselves more of, like, a contour or, like, a... Look out...

So, if you want to look it up, there's obvious images of it. That makes you look less feminine. Is that for women? Well, yes. So, like, listen, so here it is. It's B-U-C-A-L is how you spell it. And it's buckle fat removal. You can Google images of it right.

now just to get an idea of it. I think the girl from the boys did it. Starlight. Starlight. Which sucks because I thought she was really gorgeous, actually, before. I just think, I think, I think, well, I think naturally, because it's kind of like, you know, the more fat you have on you, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's like if you're a guy and the more fat you have on you, the less masculine you look, and the same goes in reverse for

women were if they have if you see more of their bone structure unless you know like it's natural it's like if you're if you're like way too thin or if you noticeably draw out fat from a specific area you just look fucking weird man um yeah yeah it's i mean i've seen it like it's it's another it's one of those things where it's like it's very clearly like something i have friends who've done it who look perfectly fine because it's like very little they didn't get rid of all of it they just got rid of some of it to kind of like shape their faces a little bit more to the way they I don't mind that at all. But there are people who are getting it completely fucking removed, completely.

Fucking completely. And it's, and it just, you look like a fucking alien. I'm sorry. Like, it just doesn't, it just doesn't look natural or correct at all. If you get rid of all your buckle fat, you need that to look like a person. You scream when you see it. We should yell. Like, oh my God, what's that when you see him next time?

Keep that shit in your face, guys. I feel like only like, it's the fourth kind. And like, and like, and just cry. But, yeah, I don't know. A girl that looks like triple H, you know, because of her nose. Holy shit. Like, like, I feel like there's, there are times where, yeah, if she got her nose done, I'd be like, yeah, of course.

Like, it's not, because it's not even symmetrical. Like, Triple H does not have a symmetrical nose to the rest of his, the rest of his fucking his face. It's just out there and it looks very obvious. And so in things like that, if there's something, I feel like that is, I would say, traditionally abnormal, I see no problem. there's obviously no problem either way, but I'm saying I would totally understand if people wanted to get some work done. But when you see things that are traditionally normal and people want to get rid of

it, I'm always opposed to it. It's like, uh, unless, like I saw a girl, she got a breast reduction, her tits were massed. She was very small frame. And then she got her tits and all the guys in the comments sections were like freaking out. And I'm like, I don't know, man. I think she looks better now because-kills your back. Those motherfuckers were like fucking pinbullies and shit. Like, there's also just like a genuinely,

Unchucks with those shits. It was crazy. There's also just a genuinely good medical reason to do that. Right, right. So it's like, okay, that is natural, but at the same time, I totally get it. Really huge tits on a skinny girl is not good for them. Like, I've seen it more than once, and it's like, it's not great for them. Like, it hurts them.

It's like when a dog you've had for a long time dies. You know what I mean? Where it's like, man, this is, I feel bad that this is going away. but it's inhumane to keep it going as long. You know, like, it's, like, I understand. So I'll mourn it. Make no mistake. If I'm dating somebody with just H,

you know, H size, and I'm just like, oh, man, this is great. You got to give him a hug for you leave. Yeah, exactly, you know. I'm knocking those things around like hell for at least one, at least one last time. You're hitting them with a baseball bat. You fucking sniping them around, dude.

You know, Viking funeral. We'll send him off in a boat. I'll shoot an arrow. Light it on fire For me, I personally get plastic surgery Only to change my nose So that's it I don't think you got a bad nose

If you change your nose I'd make it this broad as fuck I'd make it like this broad You'd make it like Shannon Sharp's nose Yeah like that Like it's a true blue You would look I find your disdain for your nose weird

Huh? Yeah I said I find your disdain for your nose Very sure It doesn't fit my face It does I think it does entirely. I don't know what it is.

I think you would look fucking baffling with it. Yeah, you look weird. Like, even if you had my nose, you'd look fucking weird. I wish. I wish I had, like, a standard. I wouldn't be friends with you. I would have a standard, I wouldn't be friends with you straight out.

I was had a standard negroid nose, a big white, super wide nostrils. A big, small, no bridge, just a big old, fucking.

You just want like a triangle on your face. It's a big old, big old, fucking Savannah African nose. Getting a little bit of air and the water. It's not for you, man. A serious question, though. Serious question.

Like, if you had to do prostitution, what would you do? Like, actually, if you had one thing. My nose, like, for real. You only had... Actually, your nose? No, I nose. Okay. I guess.

I just don't, I mean... If there's anything. Like, it could be nothing. Well, I literally nothing other than, uh, if, if somebody just gave me money, I'd be like, I'm not opposed to hard work and losing weight. But fuck it. Go ahead and suck some of that goddamn fat off me. Whatever.

You know? Like, you know, like... You know, like, suck it's zap it off. Do the zap. Whatever. Either way. And just tune it to my body, so you just zap it off. I would deal with the pain.

Just, ah. Like, give me no pain. Give me no painkillers. No anesthesia. Just zaping it. I'm like hung up. Yeah. That's the, that's the turn off.

I would, uh, I would, uh, I would, uh, I would think myself really tall, but only in my shins. Oh, no. What is wrong with you? What is? I would have really long shins. I'd have really long shins and that's it. I would have six foot shins and then the rest of me would be normal. Six foot shins.

Six foot shins. You know what I would do? You know what I would do? What I would do? I would try to have somebody put a Devastand in my back and then die. Okay, well, that's not real. Yeah, that's not real.

So, you would immediately die. You would go into shock so quick. Cut my back open and put this fucking turbine in me. You know, like, yo, I can't do that. Just pay some Korean guy. Just pay some Korean guy with like a fucking deli next to a Denny's and be like, hey, can you put this fucking PlayStation 5

in my back and you're like, yeah, sure. And then they just go into fucking chock and no hesitation. No hesitation. No hesitation. No, honestly, I don't know. I survive. I don't know what I would do.

But I got a metal skeleton and every time I go through a fucking, every time I go through, every time I turn it to winter, I'm paralyzed three months in a year because of the cold, I can't move. No, you're just dead. Yeah, you're just dead.

You're really overestimating your ability to survive that. I just die minutes into the operation. You should get strong arms. You should get implants in your biceps only, Chris. Have you seen synthal? Have you seen what those guys do? Yes. And there's this fucking horrible.

There's this Russian guy who I started following. I saw him a long time ago. And I finally found him. And he's just, he's done slap fighting, the power slap thing. He has these, he just, it's just his arms, just his biceps. and he looks so fucking disgusting. He's probably going to die from some poisoning pretty soon, but you should get that. I don't know, man.

The whole, the whole, the only thing that I could, I don't know if, I don't know if hair stuff is plastic surgery necessarily, but if I lost any more, if I lost, like, more hair line, like, like, crazy, I'd probably, like, get more, get, like, a hairline thing. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, I think so. Just because I like having hair, honestly. Like, I don't really care about, like, how I look more so. I just, like, I like having hair to fuck around with.

You know, it's funny. I don't feel the opposite. But I almost. Like just because I haven't completely lost my hair. Like my hair line's gone back just a little bit. But I almost feel like it feels disrespectful to my head. Because I kind of want to just shave my, I just want to shave it off, really. Oh, I've thought about that too.

Like I've definitely like had fancy. A little black man bald. Just shaving. That's what I used to do when I was young. It's just, it's, and then I do myself. Right now I have my wife. She cuts my hair because of my first and for, I just hate spending money on the hair. I just feel like it's, it just, it just pisses me off to.

give these fuckers money and i'll give you a tip to you doing your fucking job it's your job you you didn't do anything else for me did you did you did you tick him my balls and i got to give you a i still give them a tip anyway but still they don't take your balls i mean i'm going to the wrong fucking park you're like you're like all right you take a cock out and you start grabbing my guy stuck grabbing their head to bring your head to your cock and they're like what are you doing you're going to my guy i'm like you're going to your fucking job suck me up right now i don't know man i'll go to your guy because you go to a black barber they're all beating the shit out of you you even suggest that shit.

So I'll just fucking start stopping you. The fuck is wrong with you. And then they'll continue talking. I thought I was getting some fucking head. Goddain. They'll talk for 70 hours and just do one little slight. I love black barbershops, bro. It's so fun.

I have shit to do. I don't. That's a day. That's a day, though. You like take you take a day off and you don't do that. If I had time off, I'm always doing shit, unfortunately. So it's Now it's just a point

I'm just how my wife do it Fuck it Because I That's fair You'd be able to fucking Barber for like A hour and a half For me

Where I'm like Just shave the sides off You piece of shit This will literally take Ten minutes or less Turn the fucking Things off for a second And then talk to his fucking

This nigga behind him Like Blah Blubblubbblub Then turn it back on And go And I'm like Are you I'm going to kill you

I love it I love I get it It's I get the vibe I get it It's just I just don't have time for it. It's just like I say, I don't read books because I don't have time

to just do one thing. I'm only trying to do two things in once. I don't respect them because I'm not a fucking pussy. I don't go to my... I don't have fun because I'm a fucking pussy. I don't do anything. Someone's at my door. Isn't somebody here?

It's weird. It's weird. I heard a female voice in there. Can you imagine your gunshots here, a bunch of gunshots and screaming, the explosion, and the room goes white, and it's like what?

Dude, what if he gets, what if he gets, like he's getting assaulted behind us? Like, he's getting, he's getting punched and the dude slides his fucking pants off and just starts like rubbing his butt cheeks and shit.

I would just, I would just simply exit Chris up a call. I wouldn't even, I wouldn't even, I would just be like, oh shit. He starts looking at the camera and he's just rubbing his butt cheeks.

I'm like, Derek, uh, so what, uh, what, uh, it's a dark tank. Welcome to the Dark Tank.

Welcome to the Dark Tank, everybody. Welcome to the Dark Tank. You died. Yeah, I mean, yeah, oh well. Yeah. These things happen. Don't you have a Butler or maid answer or your shit? I heard about the voice.

Do I have a... Yeah, did you have like a helper or something? I've heard a voice in a house. Yeah. Helper like I'm ex-QC. Yeah. He has a helper? Speaking of XQC, holy shit.

Holy shit. Holy shit. I forgot about this. Let's hear it. That's right. Oh, my God. So everybody, everyone that I saw in my timeline, we all thought in unison that, oh, this is just an XQC eddick. Like people have been editing all the time him reacting to fucked up shit.

But this one was real. He was watching just fucking Gossans. Palestinians getting fucking bombed to hell and making the fucking... Yeah. The reaction phase. Yeah, it's crazy. He's like, oh, my God. He's like...

He's like, I couldn't believe it when I saw... He really did it. And then noodle. And then noodle, a friend of the show, is so funny, noodle, because, like, I,

I, so noodle is a YouTuber. He does great videos on, like, games and stuff. Yeah. But, like, I met him accidentally when he was,

when he had no subscribers, because I bullied him in a, in a halo game for a video. Oh my God, years ago. Yeah, years ago, that guy,

noodle in my halo video where I made fun of him. It was my, it was my bully hunter's video. Oh, like, at the end, I had, like,

I had, to teach you how to bully. And like, he was one of the people in the games that I was like shitting on. Nice. He said to him directly. He was like, oh, gosh. I mean, he's, he's, he's cool, but like, he made fun of XUC. He's blown up since then, but, like, he was like, this scum fuck. And then XUC responded, like, basically with a picture of him, like, with a bunch of money. And he was just, like, on the ground. Like, oh, look at how much money I have. Like, wow, this guy.

He's somebody, he's in Montreal, right? Isn't he one of those people? He's one of those dumb Canadian places Of course it's the fucking Canadian The thing that sucks about it too Is that like I can XUC is clearly like Miserable Like he's clearly like a miserable person

Right But I actually think he's too stupid To even understand that So he's like So he's like the sad thing about it Is that he's like an knock He's like inoculated To the reality of how sad his existences

Right Like he has all this money Nobody likes him He's completely unlikable He's got no personality He's got I've seen more personality In a microwave sock But he has

so many, he has so many followers. It blows my mind. I know, yeah. I'm not even like, how? Like, not even like, I'm not even like, I tried, dude, I tried so hard. I tried so, he's not for anybody. He's not for anybody. He's not for adults.

I have no problem saying, I have no problem saying this. There's, XTC donates no value to humanity at all. His existence is like a deficit on the, on the human, on humans value. He brings happiness to some people. I don't know who. He sucks. Look, man. He's just like completely worthless.

Look at, man. Jinzies a little weird, brother. Like they're, they're, the stuff that they're into, the, the, the, the, the, the, I show speed, uh, ex QC. Even when I go, go to the gym, I've been going to the gym since I was, uh, like, 17, 18. And the, the culture is very different for, you know, like, seeing how young people behave now. Dude, every time I go to the fucking gym, I go to the sauna. And there are people who have no muscles on them taking videos of themselves posing. I've never seen that. It is a, it's a thing.

It's just different. I don't understand it. Why the fuck would you humiliate yourself like that? But to them, they're not. It's like, I chose to be in XUC. They're being fucking weird. They do the transformation. No, it's no transformation.

You don't fucking flex in the mirror. You stand normal and this is my old. And then when you're actually transforms when you start flexing, these people are fucking flexing, like as if they're jacked and shit. And I was like, I will beat the living piss out of all of you, all of you combined. And they're just like. But they're so, like, gaudy. And I'm like, anyway, I just feel like there's, like, maybe it's confidence, though.

Like, fair play, I guess, right? Maybe it's a confidence thing, because I'm like, I just never seen it before. And these are the same people probably watching XQC while they're flexing. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I can't. I, I tried to find, like, the, I tried to find my way around because I wanted to tell him to kill himself.

I saw that. That was the brilliant. And so I tried, I tried to find some way around it. And I think it's still up. I don't think. But they, it's too roundabout for it to qualify as like a, as like a proper. That was too lengthy. It was a lengther.

What did you say? Well, I mean, that's the only thing. I think I said, uh, it is my personal belief that you should bathe more regularly, wash your toaster and practice multitasking. Yeah, yeah. Um, is what I said. Because I knew it was lengthy enough to not, it would be, it would be like, if it got reported, I would be like, why?

What is, what is the problem with this? Right. I think they wouldn't, they wouldn't, they wouldn't, even if it, you could appeal it, it would be too uh... I saw some people look at I was shocked to see certain people like publicly liking

and I was like that's funny that's interesting because it's so round about no one likes him no one likes him no one likes him like and no one has any respect for him and it's funny because I was

at a party uh recently where I was like it's so weird I was like in a party and I like Hassan was there and I'm like this is fucking weird but but like and I remember thinking like

oh man I've made fun of a couple people in this room and it's so funny. It's so funny to be in that environment because I feel like a spy almost. Yeah. Even though I liked most of the people there, like, it was like, you know, Eddie Burbeck and all these people. And I'm like, oh, I like, oh, I know you have a, I know you have a thought about me being here. It's weird. I'm very bad. Like, I don't know. I can't, if I don't like somebody, I can't mess with them very well. Oh, no, I didn't go up and to Hassan and be like,

oh, hey, man. Hey, you know, like, I don't care. You kick in that bag really badly, bro. You kick bag like a bitch, bro. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I don't know. I actually grew more respect for Hassan because of his interview with what you call it. That, that, that's... Pierce Morgan. Pierce Morgan, lymourg, British cunt.

He ever, everybody looks good on Pierce Morgan. That's a thing. You know what I'll say about Pierce Morgan? Even though he is, like, slimy as shit, he's let on a lot of, like, people who normally any other mainstream media outlet would not let on, which I would say is kind of insane. He had jank on. He even had jank and jank.

hard of the fucking paint. I don't like Jake at all. Who's Jake? Yeah. His uncle. His uncle on the Young Turks. Yeah. Really?

Who does, yeah, opposite of Anna Casparian. Who, Anna Casparin's another person who, she has, she has good takes sometimes, but just so, why didn't it be so unlikable? Like, it's like, what is going on? But you could, you could really extend that argument to all of us, you know what I mean? Like, because if you see, like, because I'm sure we each have good takes and bad takes or whatever, but, like, people might see it. People might see it in a very specific context

Where it's like wow this guy's a fucking asshole or whatever And like you know, I don't know I agree The longer the longer Yeah the longer I've lived on the internet The more I'm like I've seen videos of people where they say shit that's like really fucking ridiculous And just out of pocket and just like wow

That's a really dumb thing to say But I don't even think like I That used to be enough for me to be like Oh well fuck that guy But now it's like I don't know if I really give a shit I agree About any of it It's the nature of the content that people make now bro

The It's the nature of the internet Like, you don't know these people. You know, like, you don't know these people. You're, going to say something stupid eventually. If you're, if you're fucking doing this should be with it. Right. You will say something stupid.

And there's, and there's also the idea of, like, just when, like, we would meet fans or whatever. Like, I remember meeting fans and sometimes, uh, it never got as crazy as, like, sneko. You know what I mean? Where people were like, yeah, fuck women or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, but, like, I did, I remember meeting some fans who were like, yeah, man, I don't know, I, man, I, man, I fucking hate it, I need a Sarkeesian or whatever. And I'm like, I mean, okay. But, uh, but, yeah.

I mean, do you hate this person, really? Like, I remember thinking like, like hate? I don't feel that. Like, I think she's, don't get me wrong. I think, I don't think she's very intelligent. I think her content's not very good. And I'll make fun of it, but like, hate is, you hate this person?

That's a bit, that's a bit strong. Because I don't feel that for really anybody that I don't, I haven't met personally. You know what I mean? I feel like the only person that is even close to where I would attack them, you know, like I'm talking about, is like, there's something about, and I might have mentioned this before,

but I have like almost a Pavlovian response to Matt Walsh. Like if I saw him, I would probably pounce on him. It's because just knowing how many people he's caused harm. And it extends to a lot of people have, right? Whatever. There's something about him specifically just knowing that like, when if you see old-ass pictures of this dude, he was basically, he looked like the drummer of,

I make fun of this guy every once in a while, the drummer of the black keys. That guy looks like such an ugly, fucking nerd. Is that the guy who fumbled Michelle Branch? Yes, yes, that guy. Same guy. And basically that's what Matt Walsh looked like back then. He was like one of the most pathetic soy feel, fucking,

and now he just does this. Cospying fucking like, oh, I have this. He has the brillo pad beard to cover up his weak-ass chin. Stop, don't be mean, guys. Look, first of all, on this podcast, we don't care about body shaming at all. We will body-shaming. I don't have this.

I hate this line. I hate this line that people have where it's like, well, we don't body, like, because the people, like, make no fucking mistake. There are people who are like, oh, we can't, we can't body shame people, but as soon as Ben Shapiro says something, and it's like, well, look at this short fucking, it's like, come on, you, you like to body shame, okay? It's great. Just be honest about it. That's fine.

It's great. But, like, and so I will body shame, man. Like, Matt Walsh looks like a fucking, looks like a, I don't even know what it. He looks like fingers. Like, I don't know how to describe him. He just looks so strange. Like, without his beard, he just looks so funny. He looks like a wooly-willy with his beard, first off.

Totally. And then like without it, he just, he just looks like a fucking, I don't even know, like a disabled seal. He's like a very confusing looking person. And like, and he just, it sets my alarms off, man. It just, like, it's jarring. His beard doesn't look natural either. I feel like, I feel like it doesn't look real. And so to me, I'm just like, I look at this guy.

He changed my perception on beards entirely. Like, because now, like, I'm not even joking. Because like, when I see somebody with a beard now, my immediate assumption is you do not have a chin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna cry. That's so fucked. Holy shit. That's exhausting me. Oh, my God. Amen. That's exactly, like, that's the only guy.

There's plenty of monsters out there, of course. But I don't have this, this visceral response where I'm like, I need to do something. When I just, when I see him on my screen, if he ever comes, I'm just like, ugh. And so I would, I would unfortunately, I'm hoping the cops would be like, not take me to jail and be like, I get it. You know, if I, if I, like I said, if I ever pounced on him, like, you know, I get it, bro. That happened to me at school. Like, when, like, in the last, like, week of, like, seventh or eighth grade, I can't remember which, I think it was eighth grade.

Yeah. Or, no, no, I think it was like the last week of, it was the last week of seventh grade or something. And I remember this kid on the bus was like, he, he wasn't bullying. I wouldn't call it bullying because it wasn't like, he wouldn't follow me around or, like, beat me up or anything or, like, make, or, he would just, fuck with me constantly to the point where I'm like bro stop he would like you would like I don't know like I again it's not beating up but it's like physically accosting you know what I mean I was like pushing you around or whatever like he would like he would like sit behind me

and like like push my head into the into the fucking uh what is it the uh the seat behind me but like not hard just enough to bother me yeah just like stop and like the whole fucking year I was like stop it stop it leave me the fuck alone And the last week, I was just like, I'm hitting this person. It's over. Like, I'm just like, I have one week left to school. I took all my finals. What are they going to do?

Expelling? Like, it's over. Whatever. I don't care. And I turned around. I waited for it. We got the bus pulled in to the school. I turned around and I punched his face into the window as hard as I could.

And I just walked off the bus. And then I got called to the principal's office and they were like, hey, listen, we get it. Don't do that again. I was like, oh, my God. Love you. I mean... I had waited so long and there were so many witnesses

even the bus driver was like, yeah, I mean... I firmly believe, like, knowing that, like, I'm probably as old now as that bus driver was probably or like, at least close to, you know? That, like, I bet he was like, look, man, the kid asked for it, basically.

Like, clearly he's... You got to love. He needed to get hit. All of these people... Look at, man, that is, like... The Matt Walsh's or the bench of peers, whoever you want to say, these are all people who clearly have not gotten their asses handed to them.

Oh, no, clearly. You can tell. You can tell by how someone talks if they've been beat up before. You can hear it in someone's voice if they've gotten their ass with before. Like, there's something about, like, somebody that acts like that, that behaves like that, getting humbled, it is such a necessity. It needs to happen. And a lot of people go, we're so, on average, we're so fucking civil.

People like to pretend like we're not. but you have people like this walking around and they're not getting their heads bashed in constantly. It is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, I think, a testament to actually how the progress we've made. It is, yeah, man.

I think that some people just need, people need to have moments where they, they get checked, you know, whether it doesn't have to get extremely violent, but you have to get checked. People have to understand how they speak to people. Imagine how different our government would be if these motherfuckers got checked.

I mean, just like, let's just be real about it for a second. Oh my God. if Mitch McConnell got roughed up in a Denny's parking lot By the lower By the lower 5% By the staff By the staff That's Mitch

Get him That's Mitch Get it Oh shit The soup Oh fuck Hey here's your soup Mitch

He just splice in his fucking face Oh hot soup on him Put a grand slam down his pants down his pants. He probably wouldn't even fucking notice. He probably wouldn't even notice that he's getting beat up.

He's just standing there like a fucking dummy. He just you throw fucking hot soup all over him and he's just standing there. Scalding Hatsu. His skin is bubbling like a pizza

in a fucking toaster oven and he's just like staring into the abyss. Anyway, we should probably get some more questions Oh yeah, there's only been one question in like an hour Yeah, yeah, all right, Genghis Condom Genghis Condom

I should die your pants, bro. Go ahead. Genghis Condom wrote it and he says, Hello, the three splooges. Do you have any food hot takes And do you ever use them to, to your advantage? For example, I once put pineapple and anchovies on the same pizza because I knew no one else would want to slice,

but I would still enjoy it. That's a baller move, man. I get that, I get the greed, but I still discer. Yeah, I get the gris. I respect the greed. I can't respect pineapple and anchovies. That is... That's out of pocket, yeah, for sure.

God bless you. Are you Polynesian by any chance? Because I can forgive that. If you're Polynesian, I can forgive that choice. Because you've grown up with those delicacies. You don't know any better. Yeah, right. You don't know any better.

Yeah, man. I don't know. I don't know if I have, like, a hot take, but I do have, like, a pet peeve that really bothers me. and it's when people order something for the table and it comes with sauces and then they just kind of presume

they just kind of like all right well the sauce is going all over it you know what I mean like here's all the sauce and I'm just like dude there's sauce cups for a reason it's just so everybody can pick and choose what they want don't fucking lather all of these fries in the sauce that you like just because you like it

that's kind of fucked up I've had an excuse like that really bothers me it's not a hot take though I feel like most people would agree with that yeah most people would have happened that. And it's, that happens to me more times than not because I eat like a child. And so, what it means is, like, I am not the guy that has just the abundance of shit all over myself. Yeah, yeah. He spits up. He's like, he's like, I look at. I'm having, I'm having a normal conversation and then the food shows up. And then immediately. Wow. Wow. Wow. I do, go do that. Just fucking shit your pants. Honestly, how fucking crazy would it be? This is the only... Let's say we met exclusively online, right?

We never ate together. We did this show for three years. And then we met up in person at one of these live shows or whatever. And then we went out to get dinner beforehand. We're like, all right, guys, let's get some dinner. And then one of us. Let's say me. I was like, oh, yeah, the food's here.

And then I just like leaned back in my chair and I go... And I just like spit up all over myself. I'm like, I'm so nasty. Like, I'm wiping my fucking... You start snodding into your hand and wiping all over yourself. All over my shit. Yeah, yeah, I get hot wings with the sauce

and I use my shirt to fucking clean it out. I cry a little bit. I'm loud. No joke. You know what happens? You know, you know what? There's only two things I can think of. Either the show ends or we make an agreement that we are never eating together again.

That is never happening. That would confuse me so much because I've known Chris for like 11 years. So if I've just never seen him do that, like, all of a sudden he just does that. And I'm like, why if he do that? I wouldn't, I don't know how. It's, that is so, that is so gross that man, I don't even know. Imagine your, your significant other doing that too. Like, you just bail with them for a long time.

Like, fucking my wife old marriage starts doing that shit. I'd be like, fuck. That would be such a, fuck. It's fucked up. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know about that. The idea of him being like, Ah,

Q. It is, it is heinous. Just like, gave yourself a nice itching between your balls and your leg where the sweat is.

Putting the sauce all over. Yeah, that rules. Putting sauce all over the table and shit and like, like, like you're like swimming or something. And just,

just being a fucking, fucking hate kids, man. Fucking grabbing, grabbing your, ordering chocolate milk and drinking it with both hands. So disgusting

It is It is heinous And food advantages No, I'm usually the odd man out Because of the Lack of Options Like I said, I'm not a cilantro guy There's a lot of stuff that I just don't like to put

I'm a bare bones eater And most things don't come that way And so when people order stuff by default That's supposed to be shared It'll be like say for example To me a chicken cassidia is chicken and cheese and a tortilla. You get a chicken cassidia from a lot of fucking restaurants.

For a lot of them. They put the works in it. They put the works in it. And I'm like, ah, that's not how I eat that. I don't want that. And so it's not,

and it's not anybody else's fault. So I'm usually just like, ah, man, I'm just gonna have to stare at that shit. Are you gonna, you fucking eat that shit? It's crazy. I recently had,

so I recently, so I'm, I'm officially, I'm allergic to mangoes. I'm allergic to mangoes. You're allergic to mangoes? Avocados. Avocados.

Those mangoes, those mangoes, I would have died by now. Oh. So what happened is that recently we went to our friend's house for the weekend and I had avocado. I had a little bit of avocado in one of my brachritos and I could taste it instantly

and I was having up my panic like my coat was closing and I realized that like imagine being a damn, god damn it to all quality. I don't like avocado and I never really eat it often but imagine being allergic to like something you love like imagine chicken, you just fucking break out. If I was allergic to

to like iced tea, I think I would probably kill myself. I think I would like ruin me because it's like the one drink that gives me solace. I feel you. But so wait, you were so your throat closed up actually? It was closing, yeah. So you almost die. That's like a real allergy. Like you need a fucking epipen. Oh yeah.

So what you're saying is... I luckily took a Benadryl. It instantly knocked out because I was like, I started feeling funny and I was like, guys, damn, what's in this? So what you're saying is like you survived me and Derek probably could have been... If you died, we would get a bigger cut of the show. Yeah.

Yeah, something like that. Too bad, though. You kind of, you kind of screwed us over there. Yeah, yeah. You know, I'm trying to move back to Cal. You know, I need that shit. So you want me to die? Do my favorite, nigg.

Yeah, do my favorite. I don't want you to die necessarily, but, you know what I mean? It would be pretty cool. I mean, let's face it. There'd be a pretty good silver lining to any of us dying. Is it like we'd be. No, there's the one benefit. There's the one benefit of a larger check.

The aliens still help. They help you, you know, like, you know, like, You're completely fine. You get a larger check. You get more money. You get like everything goes well for you. That'd be crazy. I'm just like that's horrible and I'm dead.

Amen. What am I going to do about it, you know? Life goes on. Mourn? I mean, I can mourn on my free time. I can mourn. I'll happily take the money. And I'm like,

oh, dang, that sucks, man. Look, we'll mourn you by making a Tom Sweeney soundboard. And you start selling a bunch of sween merch, a bunch of dead sweet merch. You guys just go completely behind Lily's back. You don't ask her about any of this. Okay. Rip-sween merchandise. Dude, I'm going to do, I'm going to commission somebody like, you're on the floor

and your, your, your, your, your head is just inflated from, from the, from the, from the, from the allergy, but it's green to let people know that you, you died from an, an avocado allergy. So you're going to be, you just like, like a ballooned up head. That's so crazy. head and then you're just vast disrespect. You don't have to be that rude. Dead swing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kingston. Yeah, yeah.

Kingston saying it's disrespectful. Yeah. To make fun of the dead in that way. Bro, I just don't. The thing is that you guys are my friends. You guys are my close friends. Matthew Perry was everybody's friend. Matthew Perry didn't stand up.

So shut up, all right? Oh, you have to sit up in a situation he was in. He didn't do that. First of all, I'm pretty sure he had cardiac rest. He had a heart attack. Oh, no. Look. A fall out the tub.

How about that? Look, look. I won't say anything. I feel like it's going to age poorly. Let's move on. It's going to age poorly when I also die in a tub. Yeah. So it's true that that that song, the friend song was specifically made for that show, right?

So. Is that right? I feel like that's correct at all. I was hoping you guys knew. So no one told you life was good. gonna be this game let me see glub glove glove

friends theme I'm out here throwing I'm out here Boston rope for show I hope

I know U.S. Rock duo the Rembrands it's like you're always fucking three or four queers

what happens oh yeah so you're rear because I am fucking dudes because I'm gay yeah once more

you're almost in game let me get to the bottom of this. Yeah. Let me get to the bottom of this little mystery. So the U.S.

rock duo, the Rembrands, who were building popularity in the alternative space, reluctantly agreed to record, I'll be there for you for the sitcoms

theme when it debuted in 1994, which is co-written by the show's executive producers. And there's an article here that says the Rembrandts Reveal Friends theme song ruined their career. Reluctedly?

Yeah. What does that mean? You know what it means? It's probably, it's like, here's a band who doesn't want to do fucking corporate shit. They just want to play music,

and they're like, oh, well, you know, we got this, we got this gig for the show. Who the fuck knows? They're probably assuming that like, oh, here's a sitcom. What are the, what are the odds that it's going to, you know. It's going to be as big as it did. Yeah, because, like, most TV shows don't get picked up. So you're like, oh, you know, it's a good check from, like, a big network. It'll probably live for, like, maybe, like, barely a season or might not even air.

Who the fuck knows? And then we'll, we'll get a nice bag and then we can go build our career. And instead, they happen to make the theme song for, like, the most popular sitcom probably, like, one of the most popular sitcoms ever. and now it's the only song that a lot of people know by them. So then people go to their shows. They're like, play friends. Yeah.

I can imagine that being fucking horrible. I feel like artists like that kind of annoy me to a certain extent. Yeah, I know what you mean. Because you should be grateful that like that many people give a shit at all. No, you shouldn't. You don't have to. You don't all your fans anything. In fact.

You really don't. You don't, though. Like, I'm being, I'm being fucked up by the truthful. You don't. That is so. wildly undrue. You do. You appreciate them,

but you don't owe them anything. But you do because if you didn't, like thank you guys. It's so wild. It's like when the bands refuse to play hits. And I'm like, that's what got you to the ball,

bitch. Yeah. And I don't want to do it no more. You can't make me do it no more. And then it's like, so then you can't be mad at when they don't show up at your fucking shows anymore.

So sit down at my fucking concert. That is true. Shut your fucking mouth. And watch me play my indie song I wrote at 16. I just want to hear. artist say that to their fucking audience. Shut the fuck up and sit down.

Dude, man. Yeah, like, it'd be like, if I went to a, look, in a hardcore scene that would work for them. They'd be like, yeah, fuck yeah. Tell me sit down one more time, bitch. Yeah. Look, Savior is not my favorite Rise Against song or anything, right? But like,

if I go to Sea, if I go to Sea Rize Against, I want to hear Savior. I want to hear the do Savior. Yeah, because they do a fucking awesome rendition of it. There's like a fucking four minute solo in it. It's sick. There's four minutes. There's four minutes of no people's talking. this guy playing guitar, it's fantastic.

It's a good, it's good instrumentation. I know, I know. So to me, I'm just like, so that's the way around it, right? It's like, okay, so you have your hit that you're probably sick of playing. Fuck with it, man. Make a crazy version of it. You know what I mean? Make one that it's still the song, but you've got like some new shit in it or like something

that's like heavier in the middle of it to kind of like, or whatever you, whatever the you want to spice it up some way. That's a great way to do it. Because when I, when I first went to that rising end show and they did save it, I was like, oh, sick, cool, nice. It's a good thing to end on. And then, like, it got to a certain point. It just changed entirely.

I was like, this is fucking awesome. This makes it totally worth it to hear it. Bring out. What every group should do, they should bring out rage against the machine halfway through. Like, the end of the show. Every single group. Every group brings out rage. With the fastest jet to, like, as soon as that shows are.

Like, you like, what's a group? What's a group that makes no sense? Like, Joe G's singing, right? And all of a sudden it's some of those that arm forces. In the middle of Jody's song and it's like The Wiggles. The Wiggles. These little kids about to get radicalized as fuck

are the same that burn crosses. What's the fucking, Yay, Burr crosses? What's the Wiggles song? What's that popular Wiggle song? Fruit salad. Fruits salad.

Yummy. Yummy, yummy. Sallet. I don't know what that is. You're the Wiggles? You're way too old. No,

this makes sense. That doesn't make sense. That was like a meme for a while. You're way too old and you have no nieces or nephews. That is true. So that's why there's no way Derek can know what the wiggles are. Every kid that I know is like, or I know that they're dead. Every child I know is dead.

No child. No child has survived an encounter with me. I'll tell you that much. God damn. I kill those fuckers. Is that it? What is it? What are we doing?

It's just the wiggles. It's called the wiggles. It's called the song is called Fruit Salad. Yeah, the band is called The Wiggles, yeah. And it's just these four, like, kids show guys who are just in solid-colored shirts, and they would just make kids' songs. Fruit Salad. They had a song that was like fruit salad, yummy, yummy.

And then like, all right, thank you. We've been the Wiggles. Well, apparently I did hear it because about a third of the video has been viewed. So you've absolutely, you've, I let me tell you this. You've absolutely, because they had, they had this weird, like, meme moment. I don't remember exactly when. It might have been like 2010 or fucking 2015. I don't know. But like there was a period

of time where the Wiggles memes were kind of popping. Okay. Yeah. I'm gonna pop. I'm gonna hear this because I don't remember this. It sucks. You're never gonna listen. It doesn't suck. It doesn't suck, but it's a kid's song. It's a kid song. It's a bad kid's song. It's a bad. I think it's bad. I think

Brousel is good. Kingston, it's like, it's not a kid. Okay. So it's not a kid song because kids songs are like Avrilavine's complicated. You know I mean. That's like, I would argue that's a kid's song. Okay. So we mean baby. This is a this is a baby song. This is a baby like fucking I put my diaper on

backwards. That's bad. So I shit up my belly instead. Like there's I don't understand the physics of that but sure. Whatever. Whatever. It falls in front of him. I love it. I love it. It's like some

BG shit. And I shit up my belly instead. Yeah, this is bad This is really bad It's like cocoa melon It's like Yummy yummy Yeah, yummy fruit salad

We can be Here we go It's a special treat Nah nah nah Snark Tank makes kids songs We'd probably be billionaires Man Because that shit

Oh my god When I hear so many kids songs They're so fucking awful And I feel bad Honestly I'm not even fucking If you wanted If you started

If you started a completely If you started a completely Separate channel Just like just a separately Just so it's not Demonitize StarTake kids or what? The StarTank is fucked.

StarTeg is ruined. That channel's fucking... If I could upload a video of me thanking my parents just for existing and being great and it'd be like, they would assume. They would just assume it's like what kind of...

What awful shit is in this? So, if we started a new channel where we just did stupid fucking kid songs and we made it as fucking as rudimentary as possible, that shit's getting... That shit is getting millions of views. The thing is that kids songs are

so simple they're difficult to make we should we should unironically i'm not even kidding no i would i would not even be so fun you want to try you want to try extra ammo you want to want to do a double feature extra ammo next time we do one where we do the first one we're going to do and then we make a kid song have you seen that that one where it's like uh that one where it's like um but we have to make it a good kid song and it's not

vulgar like nothing no innuendo is a shit like kids song no real kid song i don't do it good song i just think what were you can say miss because there's one that I've been seeing on TikTok a little while where it's like Mickey on the Mickey on the railroad picking up stones and it's like and like there came a train and broke Mickey's bones and it's real it's like it's on like YouTube kids and shit

and it's and there's this and there's this fucking scream this blood curdling scream in the middle of it where it's like what the fuck but it's on YouTube kids and it's not demonetized yeah that is fucking wow that I'm sure if you look it up you'll find it but like yeah it's It's fucking. The only thing I don't like about the, if you, if you make it for kids, then nobody can comment because I would be, I want to read the comments. I would like to read the comments.

But yeah, if you do for kids, it was because of all those perverts. Remember, do you remember when that happened? There was a lot of, there was like these kids content and there would be perverts commenting weird things where there would be like time stamps and shit. Oh yeah. Yeah. And YouTube was like, oh, so they just like, if it's a kid's version of anything, no comments. It was smart. It's smart.

Kids content doesn't need comments. I get it. You're watching an episode of fucking Mickey Mouse's Clubhouse and you go down and it's like hot pink sluts in your area and it's like what the fuck? What is going on? That is crazy. Yeah, yeah. I understand.

Totally. Blown out pussy whores in Tacoma, Washington need your sex. Need your sex. That is so fucking rapid. Need your sex. I love that. That's a great line right there. Did you

Okay, so Snark Tank Kids What, STK? Would that be our thing? Yeah. Snark Tank Kids See, I think, look, there can be some good What is it? Blue's Clues had some bops.

Yeah. We'll just find some fucking bullshit. Goll Island was fucking fire That theme song. I feel like we could make Because I'm like, the kids, they deserve better than that wiggle shit?

What the fuck is that, dude? We could do it. could do it. Do it, man. We'll be... We can do it. And then hopefully the parents never find out on this podcast. We'll be the...

We'll be the... I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. The niggles. That's exactly. It's exactly what I was thinking. That's crazy. We'll be the...

Oh, my, my God. The gills. I hate that. I hate that we thought the same. Fung... Chris is the face of that, though. Like, there is... Yeah, it's me smiling.

We're in the background. We're way in the background. We're the background. What are the niggles. Like that I want you to Photoshop my teeth to be mega yellow Like fucking like distressingly yellow And then you guys are in the back

Like kind of like looking out in both directions You know what I mean? Like to the left and right Yeah And that'll be that'll be The niggles That would be a fun That's a fun project

There's no way that would We're not calling it But But yeah I don't know I'm dead serious The idea of having a podcast like this And then also having a side thing we do

Which is just make kids music That's it So awesome And we're making It's funny man We're making money And then So here's a thing

Right Even though it's a tank The older The older I get The more I realize It like I've known this truly for a while, but like, it's, meritocracy

isn't real, you know? It's why it's why XQC has as much money as he has? And it's like, well, fuck it. Like, people will be like, well, why are you making kids music? You don't fucking care about kids music. Yeah, you're right. I want a fucking bag, dude. I want a bag. Yeah, man, I want to, I want to eat.

I'm not going to, like, pretend to believe shit that I don't believe or anything, but like, I'm going to make these kids. Like, what is working if not doing shit that you don't want to do? Like, you're going to really chastise me. For making kids music and making millions while you're fucking at Best Buy a place that you clearly don't want to be at? Like, what the fuck? Come on.

Let's be real, chill, chill, chill, cho, ch-ch. Nobody wants to be a Best Buy, okay? It's real talk. Nobody wants to be a Best Buy. Fucking Geek Squad coming in and dragging everybody in the back room molesting them and setting them free. Get out. Get out now. Geek Squad ruined my first PC. Fuck Geek Squad.

Dude, fuck Geek Squad. Dude, Geek Squad re-formatted my fucking hard drive when I'm like, oh, I'm having some issues. And they just wiped everything. And I had like 4,000 pictures all from my high school and all this shit. And I'm like, what? Why would you? I had 4,000 30 plus minute videos of pornography on that fucking hard drive. I had 2,000 sex tapes.

What the fuck? I was in good shape. I can't do that. That is a lot. That is a lot. This was in 2004 when things weren't like plentiful. Like I bought a 40 gig hard drive after that for like $100 or something because that, yeah, that 40 gig. And the idea of someone deleting, okay, at your most horny teen itself, imagine you come home, right?

Your mom is just like, honey, I press some button on your computer and it said reformat, delete, all of something. I don't know what it is. You check your folders. You go to your porn folder. Completely barren. How do you react? Extreme disappointment. As a teen, in that year, yeah, you had to work hard again.

that shit. I'd be extremely disappointing. Not for me. Not when we were teens. I didn't save any of it. I had bookmarks. Yeah, internet was just, just not enough. It was almost there in 2004, but not enough. Which was insane, too. It's insane too, because like, I've had my account for so long that, like, all those bookmarks are still there. Like, all those videos are, like, deleted or whatever. Or whatever was, like, this video's been removed or whatever.

I hate, they're still there. I just haven't bothered to get rid of them. I had a couple of porn-hub links before the purge. Yeah. They're all gone. So you can see, you can see, like, if you wanted, you could go out of my computer

and just see, like, what my taste was in like 20, 10 or whatever. And it's all fucking whatever. It's squirting milk everywhere. Big old, juicy fucking pussies leaking juice and liquid

with some big old, greasy, big fat booies. Fat booty. Fat pussy copulation. Milk dripping fucking Ariola twitching pitties with some fucking type it in.

to the search engine. Big old fat. You're just like, we got nothing. It's literally going to return anything. What the fuck be talking about? No data found. No data found police called, dude. Police.

No data found. All right, let's move on. Philonious Punk, the crime man with the crime plan, wrote it. He says, hello, snark boys. I created a Patreon account specifically to torment you at the low, low cost of $5 a month. Welcome to board.

My question is simple. Who would you cast? in a live action gears of war movie. I need at minimum your picks from Marcus, Dom, and Carmine. Thank you for all the content. Remember if she won't suck it from the back she's not the one. That's crazy.

But thank you for coming. By the way, yeah, that's crazy. But I do want to mention that we are going to be doing in the coming weeks a extra ammo episode where we we did some episodes where we wrote a... What was the one that we wrote?

We wrote like a sequel to Independence Day that I thought That was my favorite one. End the Bittes Day and then the mask. The MASH, too. We're going to be, so we did two movies. We're going to, we're going to do a little pitch meeting and rewrite. I don't know if we're going to do Gears of War 4 or rewrite Gears of War III. We're going to decide on the day, I think.

We're going to rewrite the ending of three. Yeah, yeah, we should rewrite three. It should be Cures of Four. Okay, we'll rewrite gears three. I don't really remember Gears of War IV, to be honest. So, like, gears three would be fine. But that's going to be an extra ammo. So if you want to jump in.

of that. There's some extra content over on the Patreon and the coming weeks for that. But who would you cast? So I would immediately, Marcus, Boogie 2988. Oh, okay. Easily. Easily. So Boogie 298. He needs a bag, I think. He needs, he needs a

way out of his horrible situation. Don, a dumb. What's the Dom? I wouldn't make you for the power of... It's me, Marcus. It's me, Marcus. He plays him like from that fucking character. That's insane.

I would turn that game off so fast. Yeah. Oh, wait, it's a movie, right? Are we doing live action movie? So Carmine as Duane Johnson? That's a little... Yeah, no, it's too generic. We got to get somebody...

Carmine is... Carmine. So he's the guy who dies all the time. Yeah, Carmine. All the Carmin brothers die. Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart is a Carmine?

He's going to look so small in that arm... they're gonna have to like they're gonna have to like they're gonna have to like shoot him in four's perspective to just get him looking correct Kevin Hart is Carmine would be funny

what about XQC as as Marcus Phoenix XQC as the Locust Queen as the Locus Queen as the Lopez It's a It's a

It is emergency It's a person Chet. It is the word of the chat. Humility is when the Locust Horde will overtake you. We're going to sink a Jacinto chat. We're going to sink Jacinto with a giant worm chat. The locus is like, who the fuck is he talking to? Who the fuck?

Can you understand him? The Locust sword is completely fucking, the locus sword is completely fucking disorganized. Because they're like, what the fuck? Who is this? We don't understand the orders. Like, Boog? Grind?

Yeah, I don't know, men. I think every single locust. Okay, so do you know how, do you know how, like, in, what is it? Charlie and the Chalka Factory, all the oompa-lumpas were played by that, that, what is it, the Indian actor,

Deep Roy, I think his name is, the same guy, like cloned a bunch. I think all the locust should be one guy, who should every locust be? Huh. we gotta think about this and this might make its way into the fucking

rewrite who the fuck knows oh yeah maybe we're laid down the ground work yeah it's possible we're laying down the ground work who should be every single Lucas in the fucking film should be

it should be the guy that it should be the people that attack Jesse Smoeye um no we don't know what they look like that's right it should probably be it's just like a

just like Nigerian guys what about John Louisamo he's a thing Who's that again? No, no, Joe Pesci. I think Joe Pesci would be a great. That's terrible, but okay. Joe Pesci.

You Gears, motherfucker, you? You fucking. Boom. Boom. You Jew, mother effort. Hey, grind. Grind. Hey, grind.

Oh, my God. Grind, you motherfucker. Grind. Grind. Grind. Bug. Broi, Joe Pesci was shorter than me when I was seven, bro. Yeah, he's a guy.

He's a small guy. Hammer burst. What's the name of the chain talk about it's called? The Lancer. A Lancer. Using a Lancer is so funny because I know it's heavy. It is like, ah!

It falls on top of the person. He's cutting half and still on. Can I say it's mega weird to me that you guessed hammer burst first? Because that to me is way more forgettable. The hammerbursts is a more iconic name than the Lancer to me, I think. That's why. I see. I guess there are more things called Lancer, I guess,

because there's like a diner here that's called Lancer. Because for me, the Hammerbird sounds so much cooler. Also, when you play PVP, you would always use the Hammerberg instead of the Gunn of the Lancer. I mean, it's fun as far as far as, I would never use. I would never use the hammer, I kind of hated it. The Lancer is a better close-range gun, but the handbraith is better for head.

You're dead. You're dead. You're dead. It was like the snub and the Bulltok where it's like, I'm using the Bulltok every time. Yeah, no, for sure. For sure. But, yeah, fucking.

Who's the dog? I take the fuck out of that game. Particularly two online? Oh, my God, I played the fuck out of it. Dom? Dom should be... Hmm. Dom should be, um, Ray William Johnson.

Ray William. No, get him out of here. Not to be... Okay, who would be, Dom? We need a Hispanic person. Oh, Norman Rees, duh. Norman Rees, there you go. That would piss so many people off as insane.

Norma, there you go. Sure. Norman Reis, there you go. Rees as Dominic Santiago. And who is Marcus? Who was Marcus again? We didn't, we, No, no, that's...

No, Joe Pesci was every single locust. Oh, Marcus, Phoenix. You said Boogie, but we didn't... No, Marcus Phoenix should be... That's not real. The guy that voice is Bender. Oh, just actually bring in fucking John DiMaggio. Just actually bring him in as Marcus Fienus.

I mean, is John says that's him, right? Yeah. He's really, yeah, yeah. Honestly, that would be... That would just be... good idea probably it would yeah it's too good of an idea i'm sure i'm so sure he's gonna be in that show somehow like he's gonna be in that show somehow i'm so sure of it or like jake the dog i don't know what it would be better if he actually sounded like my name's jake the dog and i'm having fun

with my friend phoenix or or uh fucking marcus phoenix hey i'm going going around like i'm making pancakes like that's fucking insane bacon bacon pancake yeah yeah oh yeah what's that bacon pancake i I haven't seen that show in a long time. Making pancakes. Yeah. I've never finished. I've never finished it either. When Finn's voice started changing, I kind of like fell off.

I finished a whole series. Not like it was like bad or anything. I just like fell off. I never watched a single episode. Like I watched like clips of it. I'm a little. I really like the show. I've heard it was good.

It just like it came at a time where I was just kind of feeling like I don't, I don't. You know what it was? It just the art style to me just kind of felt like I didn't. It wasn't. It was a little late for us. It was a little late for us. It was a little late for. for us. Well, literally, if it came out,

definitely late for me. My friend just showed it to me. I'm sure it's a good show. I have no doubt that it's a good show. I've seen clips of it that crack me the fuck up, I will say. Like, there's a, there's a scene where, like, a deer stomps on Finn's legs and breaks them like twice. And, like,

his legs fold up like a fucking I don't even know, I don't even know how to describe it, but it's like, it is one of the funniest things I've ever said. And I, I could not stop laughing when I saw that. Or there's one where he gets a bit by like a spider. That scene is Yeah, that scene. He takes his head off.

He's got little hands underneath. There's also one where it's like, I don't remember what the fuck this was. I saw it in like a TikTok compilation where like I think Jake gets bitten by like a fucking small. Like I don't know, like some bug bites him like a spider. And then he like, he falls to his knees and opens his mouth to scream. But he's like being silent. And there's something about that scene that fucking kills me every time I see it. Because like that's so much pain that you can't even.

even vocalize. And it's so like I relate to it so hard. He's like shaking. I love it. But I never actually sat down. I watched the show. Maybe I'll, maybe I'll just do that.

The show's really good. If it came up we were like 14, like it came up when we were 14. That would have been like generation show probably. Sure. But unfortunately, it came out when we were like, like you're going into being 18, 19 year olds.

Yeah, I was like 25 the first time I saw it. So I was like, ah, yeah, it's too late for me to watch this. I really like it. I really enjoyed it. I watched every episode of that.

I watched the new series too. it really touched my heart It was at that time It was at that time for us Where we were transitioning out Of watching that kind of stuff Whereas like if I I have a feeling like if I found it later

Where I was like well Like well beyond it I probably would have been a lot more Like willing to watch it Because it's just like oh well fucking Whatever It's some cartoon that I hear is good I haven't seen a cartoon in a while

Uh Maybe you know Um Anyway Anyway So uh Let's get Let's get two more

Let's do it Let me find a Let me find a delectable little question From our from our... Looking to beat the summed out of a thick, fresh oak. Have you guys seen Blackula Flow? I have seen Blackuilaflow.

I have not seen Blackyla Flow. I think we were tagged in that show on Instagram. I didn't see it. I love how confused the Blackyla Flow guy seems. He seems very confused. I'm sure he's on lean. I saw people dressed as Dracula Flow for Christmas, for Halloween. And I was kind of... I was kind of like that's that's sick

I love that Okay scooped Scooped James wrote it He says hello my honorary F slurs Being men of the heterosexual persuasion How have your partners reacted to your collaborative gay parodies By the way as a bye guy Give you all the F slur pass don't worry

We don't need it However what? Partners If our people were dating our wives Our girlfriends whatever Oh my My I feel like uh,

Jojo is in some way she's more immature than me like when it comes to like sense of humor which is like kind of wild to me because some of the shit that she shows me I shake my head at

I'm just like I'm like come on man like some of the shit she's like tags me and I'm like what so yeah that's uh it's right up it's all good man she completely understands it yeah it's all it's all pretty like I have never

I don't think I've I don't even think I'm slept with a person who didn't think the things that I thought were funny were funny you know what I mean like I'm not that's such a lucky you guys that's like the that's the first true that's not true for me actually that is the first thing

that's my that's my way in man like that's how I get into that situation in the first place so like if I have something that I think is hilarious and the person I'm dating or sleeping with doesn't think it's funny that can't happen because that would have never even been a possibility totally I can't be in that

I give what you mean. I don't think anything I do is funny. He thinks I'm like not funny at all. Like none of my friends are funny. So you're just coasting off of pure just attraction, I guess. She just just like, I just. Yeah, that's a. That's kind of crazy.

That's so, that's so distressing. Yeah, humor is the, I always say, I always say like there's. I'm lying. Lily, Lily since the humor has gotten so warped being in a relationship of me and being around my friends for so long that she is nowhere near the person she was before. for. Now she's like, dude, I'm not gonna, no, she said she's, she's gonna get mad if I said this. I'm not gonna say it. Molding her, I get it.

I know what you're gonna say. Significantly altered her tons of humor, like really badly. To the point now that shit, she laughs at, she's like, I would have never laughed at that before. Good, because that's, I can't, I would not be able to date some lame-ass chick. I've, I've slept with lame-ass women, of course. Of course. You know, like, where I'm like, uh, you use me to place myself in. Yeah, basically.

Yeah. That's crazy. That's wild, man. Like, oh, you suck. I've never had that, man. Oh, I've definitely. Definitely have several lame-ass girls before. That's crazy.

Lucky you. Did he just lose his wife? I think Derek, Mike just disconnected. Check one, two. God, damn it. What the hell is that? Yeah, let me make sure I'm still recording. Everything good.

Everything all sexy. Hell yeah. Okay, okay. Okay, yeah. I just, I just been on, like, a lot of, you know, back in the dating app days, you would just kind of meet some chicks. I've met one I've

It's usually It's I'll be honest It's it's the bleeding Heart liberals Every single time I've had like a bad date It was just the ones that were way too progressive You know I live in Cali most of my life

And so like of course Most women are liberal Progressive But there's the ones that are like You know They're like that They're like you know I'm like yo calm down

This one chick's talking about She cried her eyes out When with her mom when Trump won and I'm like, oh, God. I was like, here we go. Like, I'm like, I understand you're upset, but like, you fucking were like, that upset?

I was like, oh, this chick sucks. Yeah, no, I can't, I can't even, because, yeah. Because humor is my, my way in. Like, I've never, I never really operated on dating apps because I just, I just never cared to.

It's just always, like, been like, this is a, I always felt like, even from, like, really early on, that it's like, there's something, I don't care. Like, it's pussy that doesn't think I'm funny. You know what I mean? Like, I don't need that,

bro. I have, I've, Like, maybe this is really sad. This is smart as good. This is really, really, really sad. It's going to bring me back to, like, some shit. There have been, out of the time, I've separate, like, maybe 11 women.

And out of the other women I step with, maybe three of them, I genuinely had respect. I respect them. Like, for real. Like, it's not even like me being a joke. Like me being a joke, be like me going, like a kid. Like, when I look back at them as people and I'm like, okay, who you were, especially at the time, I just fucked because you were attractive. I can sincerely say that's only true for that's, we have the reverse.

Like it's only one person in my, in my entire history where I'm like, that wasn't, you know, there's nothing. There's literally nothing there. There is my, well, you don't have to name, you have to name. Let's relax. There's one other one. Yeah, there's one other one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then one of them is like sort of.

Yeah, I'm trying to bring them out into the woodwork by, you never know who's listening to this show, bro. Oh, no, I'm not going to drop their names, but like, yeah, like, it's, it's wild. I one time, this was funny that this even happened where there was a German girl that I was involved with like years ago. And I got asked, I haven't done Instagram Q&A in a long time. I forgot about that. I used to do that every once in a while. But yeah, somebody asked me a question about like, oh, have you ever? I forgot what the question was, but it had to do with something, you know, related to dating or something like that.

And I was like, oh, yeah, there's German chick I was with, you know, she was really pretty, whatever, all this stuff. and fucking, I get a DM from her. She's like, oh, what's up? And I'm like, what the fuck? Like, I had no idea. Like, you, you were following me this whole fucking time. So, like, it just, you never know. I mean, I've been shitting on her for years, bro.

No, I never, I never, I never, like, trash or anything. But it's just one of those things where it's like, be careful, brother. Because you don't know, like, you might say some fucked up shit about somebody had no idea they're following you because you're a public figure. And so it's like, stupid fucking kraut bitch. I can't stand her Nah, we're cool She's fine

You can't trust them You can't trust the crowd That is true You can't just the crowd, I will say though I will say I don't get a fuck If she hears this or not

I don't care She did have a A grandpa That had Fucking Nazi paraphernalia And I was like That's ultra illegal And you're

That is wild They were even telling me this Was he in Germany? Yeah She was But, you know, she came here and stuff. Okay, good. That's so fucking crazy, man.

That shit is like, it's not good to have here, but there it's bad. No, over there it's ultra-legal. Like, it's all like, yo, I probably shouldn't even notice. But which let me know that I'm like, oh, our grandpa is really, you know, he's probably one of the last. Did you see what in Canada when they applauded that fucking SS officer? Yeah. Like, it was like one of those things where he's probably one of the last ones that probably did some shit. I really can't stand Canadians, bro.

Like, I really have a serious, like, just disdain for them. I mean... Because they're so wrong, so proudly wrong about shit, dude. Look, I'm... I, if... This is all I'm going to say. I agree with these things are at an extent, but keeping moving to Canada as an option,

if things get too dicey in this country. which I don't know, man. I'm going to say I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit concerned. I wasn't before. I'm a little bit concerned after the shit that's going on in the Middle East because everyone hates what I don't feel, I feel like Trump might win just because anything he does, his base isn't phased by it, right? But like the other side, people are so disappointed with Biden's response and blah, blah, blah,

and this and that and everything that's going. on and I'm like oh my god he's probably gonna lose enough support wherever I was like oh no I'm gonna fucking keep my options open man that's all I know it's the same it's the same fucking fucking run of the same shit I was like god damn it no

yon guys gotta come with me that's all I know I'm not going to Canada fuck that oh shit I'd rather I'd rather die here I'd rather die miserably here than live successfully in Canada I'm not even joking because then oh wow because the thing is like I don't know man it's not about sharing a border with ex-ccic yeah like i don't know well we're not gonna move to fucking uh quebec fuck that fucking

it's all it's all quebec brother i want to go to fucking british columbia british columbia will be nice we go up there all we got to do is go north british columbia what the fuck with that accent sound like we'll live in vancouver it's right there by washington you're making me sick stop saying stuff like that all right look so what bridge co bccc is good okay go go go let's go two more things and then and then and then and then out, right? I do want to mention this because I'm... You're making me sick. Parker Luchenbach wrote in.

He says, Dear Squirting Sarans, in my company messaging app, an admin employee recently posted a pick of a grandma in resin, but it wasn't the one Chris posted. It was a different old woman room and family. I thought it was insane because I was listening to the Star Trek when I saw it.

This is the most famous thing I've ever done. This is, without a doubt, when I posted that grandmother in resin, I had no fucking idea that would be like sent this far out to the point where like now it's a trend where there are different ones that's insane i don't know what i've done but i just wanted to read that because i thought that was crazy but it's it's pretty cool it's pretty cool to be uh it it feels good it feels good doesn't it a little bit right it feels good to be remembered you know it feels it feels good to like

have a little bit of a some stupid bullshit that you put out oh yeah no i don't mind it at all i think I think it's awesome. I don't know. Like, it's like, I did the, the LOLL nice reach thing, too, and I'm always happy when I see that. I don't really get it. There are people who make a big deal about like, oh, man, I made this meme, and it wasn't credited. And it's like, I get it on a base ethical level, but at the same time as somebody who has made enough of that stuff that's, like, exploded into cultural zeitguise and never get credit for it. I'm just like, I mean, that's the point of it, isn't it?

Like, the whole point of a meme like that is to get a, like, you're not going to make money off it. It's a fucking meme. So, like, what's, I don't know. I've just never really. To me, I only. care if I've spent a lot of time on something. That's all. Like, if it's like a meme, which is no time at all, I don't get, fuck.

Well, please. That's what I mean. It's like, if it's like a video or a song or like a whole fucking production that, like, took a lot of time and like mixing and editing and all this, color correction, all this fucking shit. And then it just gets spliced and uncredited and freebooted on Facebook. And then it makes money for other people. But like, I don't know, a fucking image that I, I thought

of all of this shit. I thought of all of this shit and executed it and posted it within a span of like five minutes, max. For all three of them. So it's like, what? I don't know, man. But, uh, and the last one. La la la la la. La la la.

Nice reach. We reach. We reach. Reach. Reach. Reach. Reach. Reach.

Reach. Reach. Reach. Reach. Reach. We reach. We reach. I'm trying to have fun.

Oh, you're still doing? Okay. I see what you're doing. That really made me want to quit. Imagine. Imagine. Imagine. Imagine.

After all the shit that we've said on this show, that's what does me in. Imagine me that. That was that. Unlikable something that I'm like, I just want to kill myself. It's crazy. I don't want to be here no more. All right. Here's the last one.

Mr. Beast voice wrote in. Or Mr. Beast's voice, Mr. Hands. Mr. Hands. Mr. H. You miss. He wrote in. He says,

He says, do you guys have any false memories that you swear happened? I remember Harry Belafonte speaking at Obama's inauguration and then dying like a week later because he defeated racism and could finally rest. I don't know how true that is. But I definitely had a- You never defeat it. You become idle. Dude, I thought for sure, this is not a joke or anything. I thought John Goodman died like 10 years ago or like fucking like ages ago, like a long fucking time ago.

and I found out only in the last like three years that it's like no he's still around I'm just like what the fuck I could have sworn like I remember I have vivid memories of people being like oh RIP you know John Goodman and fucking posting clips of fucking Sully and shit I'm just like I guess I dreamed this but you didn't die or something no no no he died too for some reason I don't remember why that that okay well that upsets me because now I thought I was willing I was willing to chalk that up to a fucking dream but now that you remember that too. It makes me really sad and really scared of what the world is. But yeah, I don't know. That's the one that comes to mind immediately. I'm sure there's other

examples. Yeah. That's the one I think of. I just can't think of anything off the top of my head, though. I don't remember who I thought died. Definitely there was someone who I thought died too, and I just don't remember who they are. There's also people that I thought were still alive that are not, that are fucking not dead at all. but yeah definitely who do I there's just like some mandelas

that I think that are pretty famous that I bought into as well like the the Shazam thing I was one of those people that thought there was

a a genie movie of Simbad the comedian who I think was dead for a long time and I was like oh they're not dead

I think it was I think it was what's his name um Obama No, um, Arsenio Hall. I don't know if you guys know how Arsenio Hall is. Of course I do.

But I thought he died. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. He's not dead. You're lying. Stop. I think he even tried to like bring. No, no, no, no. I think he's like trying to bring a stupid show back too.

No, he came back for a while. Are you serious? Oh, yeah, yeah. Arsenio Hall. Oh my fucking God. Arsenio balls. I can't do this anymore. Reality is so fucking fracture. I can't do it. I can't do it. I really did think. I don't know why.

I don't remember him dying. I just kind of remember. I just assumed that he was gone. That's all right. I've been seeing some dickhead. I just want to say this real quick. I've been seeing this guy gas. I think, I don't know if he's doing it on purpose or not, but he's on TikTok and

Instagram gaslighting people about certain things. Like he was saying, oh, did you know that Michael Jackson's smooth criminal? It doesn't say like when you, when you think of that song, right before he says smooth criminal, what does he say? And it's like, you've been hit by, you've been struck by a smooth criminal. And he's like, but did you know he doesn't say that? He only he says you've been hit by twice. And like there's a bunch of people in the comments section.

Like, well, that's crazy because he plays the music video version. And it just says you've been hit by, you've been hit by. And it never says struck by in the music video version. And so people are like, oh, what the fuck this whole time? And I'm like, no, that is not true. The single version, the album version. The actual, I was like, you're fucking with people right now. I don't know if he's doing it on business around.

I don't know. I appreciate that. You like lies, though. That's the thing. You like lying. You think you do it for fun, which is insane. What do you mean? You lie on the show, too.

You're supposed to lie when you need to, not for kicks. Yeah. Oh, you know one that's that crazy, though? This is the one that, like, kind of fucked my mind. I feel like it fucked everybody's mind. Mirror and mirror on the wall. That ain't what that bitch says. She says magic mirror on the wall.

What do you mean? Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who's the gayest one of all or whatever? Who's the dumbest black? You know, the world? But yeah, she says, magic mirror on the wall, and that one made my head fucking explode. Because one of my favorite songs

by a hardcore band, Bear You're Dead, they have a whole theme album. It's called Beauty and the Breakdown. And so all their songs are about, like, Disney things, or it's not about it. It's just their names are that. And so one of my favorite songs of theirs is called Mirror, mirror. And it's just like, that is

that one made my head explode because I'm like, no, it has to be mirror, everybody says mirror mirror, like, why would everybody get that wrong? But I guess it's the same way as like Luke, I am your father kind of a thing. Where you don't say that. I am your father. So I guess it's like similar to that. But still, I'm like, no, man, no, that bitch don't say magic mirror, but she does. And I was like, this isn't real.

That one kind of fuck with me. That one fuck with me good. Magic mirror, which makes way more sense than saying mirror. It makes Like if you think of it in context Why would you say mirror twice? Well I mean it's like It's already kind of sing songy

You know what I mean? It already kind of rhymes So like it's the fairest of the mall Of course But I say when you actually think of it Like Objectively like why the fuck would she Mirror

Mirror, it's like What you already said it You can just say You can just say my name It's a mirror I'm a fucking mirror dude I'm a fucking mirror dude I'm a fucking mirror

I'm a fucking mirror dude I mean I'm a fucking mirror man Stop Come on bro I'm a fucking mirror my nigga Yeah I don't know man You know I'm a mirror my nigga

Anyway I gotta watch Sleep of Beauty again God damn All right let's Or is it Cinderella I don't fucking know which one it is dude I don't know I was telling people recently

Like I feel like Cinderella would be like Like the name Cinderella sounds like If it weren't not for the fact that it was associated with a Disney movie and like a kid's fairy tale? I feel like Cinderella would be like a really edgy name. There's something about, you know what I mean? Like the idea is like cinders in there.

Cinder. Yeah. I do a stripper name Cinder. Really? Sever! Was she black? Damn. What the fuck, dude? She was not. That's bullshit. She was indeed not black.

She did give a lap dance to our friend to the fucking eye to eye from the fucking goofy movie. that's something that I Very Very Eye to eye Yeah it's very

It was very It's so not sexy Yeah I was Whatever the opposite Of chub days The find will never be far apart And that's all like It was not

It was very jarring to see Anyway Let's read our name The names are our beautiful Well I don't know If you guys are beautiful I don't want to I don't want to compliment you guys too are

Yeah that's right These are all our homeless $25 at the same time though Don't I don't don't chip Some people are beautifully homeless I've seen some beautiful homeless women And I've freaked out Can I say this

Coming on I'm like this is insane So I've seen That is insane But I saw a TikTok Recently of some guy Do you guys remember Susan Boyle? Yes Oh my gosh you got a makeover?

No no so there's a TikTok of some guy being like, hey, now that I'm an adult, do you guys remember Susan Boyle? And, like, he's talking about, like, how, like, fuck that situation was. Like, everybody was somehow surprised that this ugly woman can sing. And it's like, why would you be surprised that an ugly woman can sing? Looks don't have anything to do with fucking talent. And it's like, can we stop pretending? Like, we're, like, these amazing fucking people that are just beyond everybody else.

If a fucking gallum came up to you, if a fucking wretched creature crawled out of the fucking sewer, stood up at you, and started singing the most beautiful song you've ever fucking heard in your life, you would be surprised. You would, you would be, it would be surprising. Well, that's different, Chris. No, there's no difference. There's a reason. We have assumptions. We have assumptions for reasons. Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris. If a gallum, that's not a human. If an ugly person, if an ugly person just saying, that's different. Look at it, man, you're taking that way too literal. It is surprise. It is not surprising that people would be surprised. It's a hideous motherfucker. Because just people don't generally have good sounding voices at all.

Especially on this on this TV show that was specifically famous for people going up there and failing really hard. Of course the expectation was like, wow, this person looks weird. They're probably going to be really fucking bad. Like most people on the show who also look weird and are really fucking bad. Of course, like I don't like this like retroactive like, hmm, I'm such a good person because I didn't make such an assumption. and it's like, shut up. No, that's how we tell tales. Shut up. That is how stories have been told since stories began, where the hideous monster sounds demonic and scary

and you don't expect them to have an angelic voice. It's not even, I guess. It is, that is storytelling 101. It is the most basic good versus evil thing. Well, no, but that, but. An ugly person is usually bad. It's usually deceptive. There's, there's like, one of the stories that go on about people being,

like, yes, Yes, you're like, yes, there's truth to what you're saying. The truth is what you're saying. There's truth of what you're saying, right. You're right. It's not even truth. That is just the basis of storytelling. Well, not always.

Because one of the stories is like looking deeper. Stop being so fucking literal. Of course, not always. There is no absolution. Okay. Those are, but those are outliers. But you're focusing on outliers. That doesn't fucking matter.

Like, that is not a part of this conversation. I am surprised whenever strangers don't attack me. That's, yeah, I mean? I, like, I, I am immediately assumed. You live in a serious. Bad state of mind That is a really Like the fact that you just said that is insane

That you just said After I just assumed I assume I assume I assumed you about your point You are just like it Derek just was on your side to realize You're a fucking maniac Well no because well I have

Well first of all it's what's It's what kept me alive Remember that guy who got like fucking stabbed 4 a M wouldn't have to me Wouldn't it happen to me sorry but It's true Sorry, buddy. You don't have the prejudice.

You don't have the prejudice that I have that's kept me alive. The fact of your mouth, you're like, the fact that people don't kill me all the time is insane to me. It's such a wild statement to come out of a modern human's mouth. Chris, you're not from a thousand years ago where that was a real prospect. You're from the 90s, dude. Dude, the videos I've seen, the videos I've seen of people just shooting each other for no reason or like sucker punching people from the back for no fucking reason

or just like doing all this crazy shit for no fucking reason as conditioned me to suspect everybody who I don't know of just immediately like, I don't know, I can't know. How the fuck am I gonna know? I'm not gonna get caught lacking, all right? Let me tell you that much. Strike first. That guy who was like screaming in the diner

when I was getting my food, I was like, I might get fucking shot up today. This might be it. I was immediately like I was in a mode or I was like, all right, how am I going to kill this guy if I need to? If I need to kill this guy, how am I going to do it? You know what's weird about homeless people like? It's kind of fucked up where my thought isn't like, how am I going to beat them? It's like, ew, how am I going to stay clean?

That's my first thought. That's wild. What is wrong with you? You guys talk about me being crazy, but Derek's like, how am I going to eat this nigga without getting blood in my tongue? Like, you guys are fucking psycho. And you guys make me feel crazy all the time. To me, they have like a... You live in a different world, Kingston.

You live in a completely different world. I got to be on high alert. They're fucking smell. How am I going to devour this, dude? How am I going to absorb this dude and make this good food to me? Kingston doesn't understand because he's like, he's a wall. You know what I mean? He's like seven foot nine.

He's like fucking, he's got like a layer of like if I stabbed him, it probably wouldn't even hit his vital organs. You know, he's safe. He's safe from all this shit. Like, I've got to worry. I've got to look around. I'd be like, all right, you're a threat, you're a threat. I'm going to take you. Here's how I'm going to take you out.

Your kneecaps are really exposed. I'm going to get them. I can see your scar. I can see the scar on your shin that implies that you're really weak there. I'm going to go for that. I know, I have a, I have a takedown plan for every single stranger that I see. You're like fucking Batman? No.

He's a psychopath. Most of it, I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. Most of it is just extreme unpredictable violence. Oh, okay. Most of it is like if you pose a threat to me, I will just simply, I will simply come at you in a way that you can't possibly predict because I don't even know what I'm going to do. So that's most of it.

It's just a barrage of over-stimulation. But some people- Swamp fuck of violence that people don't know how to deal with. Yeah, exactly. But some people I see like, oh man, okay, you've got, I see the scar. Okay. All right, that's a weak point. Or some people I'm like, hearing aid.

Okay. All right, cool. Glasses. All right. What's the prescription? I can tell what the prescription is just based on. looking at it because I understand my own. It's like, okay, that's minus five. I, I, I, I, I, I, you just got a, you got to know. Complete swamp fuck of extreme violence. That's I will say,

fucking go to anyone that doesn't have any fight experience, you get in a fight the best thing you can do. The problem is in, in the, in the moment, you don't think about it, right? But cover your fucking face, put your guard up, look down at their knees and then stiper extend those motherfuckers. Oh yeah, 100%. That's crazy too. I'm not nervous in those situations anymore. Oh, because of the training, huh? Yeah, because I know how I know how to knock someone out if I really have, especially if they're not fucking boxing,

you know what I mean? And I feel like, I don't have to worry about that shit. I don't got to worry about gloves or anything. It's like, I know how to, I know exactly how to deal with this. Do you think about going around at 4 a.m.

with your boxing gloves is knocking some people out? That is, I will get killed. Someone will simply hit me with their car. They'll be like, that's a dangerous person. I'm going to hit them with my. car and then no one's going to care because everybody's going to be like what's this a lunatic

doing around running around with boxing gloves at four that's fair it's Halloween so next year Halloween 2024 how does that make you feel though actually like serious also also decides seriously how does it feel now knowing that you are you are capable of really knocking someone the fuck out now how does that feel I was pretty confident that I could do that before but I'm extra confident now and I'm not nervous about it I'm not nervous about the prospect of it so it's it feels good but at the same time it's like it's it's like I'm not going to put myself in unnecessarily dangerous situations. You know what I mean?

I'm not going to wander around at Brooklyn at 4 a.m. Just to clear my head or whatever the fuck. That's a fucking idiot. I respect it, dude. I think it's really, really dope. Like, like overall,

I don't give you enough credit about anything because I can't stand you. But you're, you're doing that training for the boxing shit was really, really, really impressive. I was like, dang, this dude's really going to do this. I thought he was going to die,

but no. Yeah. Dying is not. You should do it. future, dude. Yeah. You should do it, you should do it, man.

Maybe, if not the fight, if not the fight, just like training. I've been working out consistently for the last like, like three months and I've trimmed on a little bit, but I would definitely love to do it.

I would definitely love to do it. I got to actually up my workout regimen a bit more. At the very least, dude, just the training itself. You need a fucking diet, man. That's the part that kills everybody.

That's the shit that everybody doesn't want to let go. That was the hardest part. That was the hardest part with that a fucking shadow of a doubt was eating the right shit. It's tough, bro. I'm right now just, I'm doing, uh, right now I'm doing some extreme fasting, but for also other reasons because my stomach is a little fucked up. So I'm just doing one meal a day right now. My stomachs are a little fucked up. Yeah.

I'm sorry. Like, I was talking to this with my friend of I was like, it's really unfortunate that like my first reaction to hearing anything is like, what is the, like, what is the, like what is the most amusing response to that? Like what response can I say to this that would that would make me laugh? Yeah. And it's always either like, yeah, it's always like an insult or just something that's untrue. And so I have to like sometimes I just be like, hey, listen, I'm sorry I said that. I don't have to act like that though.

That's the thing. No, but I just, I like, it's fun for me. I don't know. Like, I like making people laugh. It's like fun. It's fun. It's, you don't enjoy making people laughing soon? I don't, I don't enjoy being mean to people.

That's the thing. You're just a I'm not trying to be mean. For no reason there. That's the thing. Well, that was more for the show. That was more for me. Yeah, sure.

That was more for the law. That was everything. That was more for the, yeah, I was simply meming a little bit. It's for the sheer memeage of it, man. I'm not really doing this for no reason, dude. The sheer memeage.

Let's read these fucking names of our $25 and up homeless patrons who have been kind enough to support us. These destitute motherfuckers are the reason this show continues to thrive and do well. So thank you all. Sweeney will count me down. Three.

No, count me down in a homeless way. Three, two, one. That's really offensive. I don't know what you think of those people sound like that. Rudolph the Red Tipped Reindeer had a very shiny cock. And if you ever saw it, you could even say you'd blow. Solid slug. Don't rhyme that shit, bro.

By the way, already with the Christmas shit, I've seen decorations already. It's like it's November 3rd already with the fucking Christmas shit. Anyway. Solid slug, Galene, Yehu Weld's Nutsacks, vaping pussy juice. Jesus fucking Christ. I'd have to think about that. They had a pussy juice flavored vape, man. I would not use it.

Can you fucking event? The FNAF porn parody featuring Freddie Fuck Bear, in-cell turned trans femme, Alexander the Gay. The Adventures of Slum. Lender Man and Thin' Boy. Sucking down a crisp diet cock. I mean diet cock. I mean diet cock.

I mean diet cock. Gay Allison Chains. Yeah, they've come to fuck the rooster. Throw your cum in the air and spray it like you just don't tear if dick. If you like dick and balls and all that gay shit, everybody. John, my friends have three years out me, Guido the 4th. I listened to every episode of the Star Trek and all I got was this lousy dick. I'm not afraid to fuck a man.

Everybody come in my hand. We'll suck this hog together. not afraid parentheses to fuck a man by Seaman M. Yeah, I'm not afraid To fuck a man Everybody

Come in my hand We'll suck this talk together Through the calm Every weather Through the calm Let you know that you got to come Holla if you feel like you need some fucking come Why do I feel like it would be so angry

about he would actually I feel like he'd be really mad about this We should We should do an M&M one at some point I don't know what we're gonna do But like he Can you imagine we get like a fucking disc track Oh my need to the snark tank disc track

A little white supremac White supremaces Nurds with Sega Genesis White Supremises and Sega Genesis. That is how you write in that shit. Yeah, there you go. God, that really fucking threw me up. White Supremagin.

And then I spitz on these grits and... Then I suck fat tics and piss shit hard fast. Everybody. Oh, hey, snark day. What the fuck even? The stop with the Britain slander. It already sucks here. Listening to Sweeney makes me consider

Racism baller of the first sin. There goes my homo. Watch him as she blows. Gap with aid of the machine. Two episodes remaining, be afraid. He's been on those two episodes for a while. His long penis is killing me. I must confess, I drank his seed.

When I'm not with the boys, my prostate's fine. You rail me so fine. I don't know what that is. Do you got to put the name of the song in front? I know what this is. Damn it. Yeah, it's not coming to me. But I know what that is.

Don't break. Take me down. That's not what it is. It is killing me. We've had that a couple times, but that's not it. Jolly old dipshit, Mr. Beast's voice. Mr. Hans. I'm coming here.

Coming here. Typhor graph. Eurethral agonizer. Damn. If you like penis, a lot of getting cock in the rain, if you're not into your girl and you love anal pain, I've gaped my dudes,

gay after guy, or guy after guy, I had my ass spread penetrated five times, and big penis, I ate a few. I had my share of cum shots. I don't know what this is. I don't know what to do.

I don't know what it is either They call my squad the Goonies Because we all have public indecency charges That's crazy That's pretty cool That's crazy That's funny as fuck If that was

If that was condensed a little bit That's a solid bar You could find something to go with that I'm trying to be like that with my boys If you were smart enough I'm trying to come Walter I'm squirting get a glass I want to see it

Walter, I'm squirting. Get a glass. Get a glass, Walter. Get a glass, Walter. It's a heavy flow. It's a heavy flow, Walter. I'm perioding, Walter. I'm perioding.

Walter, there's so much water in me, Walter. I'm going to calm, Walter. It's like a batterella stick down there, Walter. Oh, my God. Sweetie, look my weeny. Gaeo, here comes the penis up this butt, we get harder. Men, we suck on cock,

we gun fuck the bussy until it gets too soft. It's Mary Nairn-downeer, Walter. Mar-Nor-N-A-Nor-Datney-Wolter. That's fucking haines. Hey, man, you know, sometimes you got to sometimes you got to work through the Red Sea.

Penis yelling at Sweeney over Spider-Man. I don't know better than anyone on this planet. Y'all niggas is like, wild. I'm good on that, bro. I only fuck women on their parents. Only, you know, you're a coward. That's why you're a coward. You're a coward. I'm not a savage.

I'm not a savage. If you're not on your period, I don't want it, dude. Yeah, if you're not on your period, I want no part of it. If you don't toss that until they're on it. You smell like change. Oh, my God. You're a fucking, you're a demon, bro. Bro, I'm going to have kids one day, and they're going to be like,

yo, dad. What the fuck? What was wrong with you, Dad? I want to be emancipated. You know what the saying goes? You know how the saying goes, son? If the pussy ain't pennies, I don't want any. You know?

Damn. Chris yelling at sweet over Spider-Man. Maybe come all over my programming song. The Everlasting Gays. Back to Tank of Gum. Really out of... This show has gotten so fucking out of pocket over time. Caucasian container, the cracker barrel for gays,

tinfoil tyrant, putting blackface on my life bulbs. Penis man. Do Christian Girl Squirt? Holy Water. I looked too long into Craven's eyes and it made me gay. Sweenie, Sweeney, Swinney, Swallowed my peony. B.C. Sings, weren't you the one who tried to fuck my intestines? You think I'd bend over. You think I'd spread my ass out wide. Oh, no, not I. I come in guys. You know what's crazy for a little bit of time? I had a little bit lower energy in general on the podcast. And then I just started bugging out again. What the fuck? Oh, my God. That's not funny enough. I'm trying to keep it subtle

I'm like You gotta You gotta You gotta I love the idea of like the friend's logo Where it's just it just says end But like it's not even like spaced But it's not even spaced out

As if we brought it together It's just like You know I'm so it's Oh my God I don't know I don't know I don't know

So no one told Oh Let's hear the fourth one of these I'm sorry I stopped I stopped immediately You fucking That was another example

That was literally another example That would be a good thing to say She put it on my Pippa Possum's better at skating listening to you Elber Elber gone average average Clinton energy new reality show TV pedophile battle royale Winner gets a kid That's not

Damn That's just a 50 year old band with, is this a 50 year old man with pig tails and tight clothes? That's crazy. I think they're getting a kid, but it's just some fucking guy. It's just some old. They're so pissed.

This is some old nigga dude. It's some elderly man. Where's my mommy? I'm looking for my mommy. I'm lost. Where? Where? Where?

Walter was my mommy. Walter was my mommy. Can you find my mommy for me? It's just fucking Mike Arbentrot. It's just Mike Urban Trout. Where my mommy died. Come here.

Where, where. Where's my diabetes? Where's my dyby? Will you, will you, will you, will you change me? Change me. Change me, Walter.

I love gushers and fucking pixie sticks if you got him. Change me, Walter, change me. I'm shit. Can we watch the Wizard of Oz? That's so fucking vapid.

Oh my God. Where's my fun dip, Walter? Baby shark Do do do do do do do Baby shark Do do do do Baby shark We should make Pitos

We gotta keep doing Mommy At what point Do you guys think This show is just going to become Mostly the credits Uh It just

It just keeps sleeping More and more You know what's crazy The more we grow The more that is going to have to become an acceptable reality The more homeless People we get on board

in the tier. Listen to hear, you derelict niggas. We're going to have an army. We're going to have an army of the destitute at our beck and call. All these people. I like it. I love the idea of that.

And what's crazy about it too, it's like they're going to be like the most dedicated army because what are they, you know, what are they got to lose, really? They're going to be so dedicated to the cause. They're going to be like, I'm going to be wearing stark takes.

That's what we should advertise. I love what You know how like every fandom has like a name Not everyone but they have like Monsters Swifties or whatever like that type of shit Are we what do we call What do we call as are they

Bones or they just I know I know Just Bums What's up? What's up you? What's up you Bums up there? Hey

We're just going to call our fan base The Homeless The Home What's going on on you Destitute motherfuckers So that way That way, whenever a serious, that's what, that way, whenever like a serious politician talks about the homeless problem, we'll all quote treating it and we'll be like, what do you mean? What are you trying to say?

We're not doing anything about our home base. Back off. We're living our lives like everybody else. The homeless. Harry, I can't finish out with the peace so bad, dude. We love all right. Piss in here. Piss in here.

I'm not. Yeah. Hey, you got the chicken fries. Let's go. Hurry up. I got to pee. All right, all right, all right. They should make petos where GoPro's in prison so you can see what happens to them.

I think that would be neat. Star Coffee on Twitch, bitch, Mama J.F. Martin and IDF Airstrike. Beaten to death by Kat Dennings' tits. Oh, my God, man, dude. Okay. Who's that again? God bless. She got, she got some.

She got, two broke girls? Two broke girls. Oh, my God. The thick one? Yeah, dude. I think I first saw on 40-year-old Virgin. I was like, that bitch got some fucking. That show is.

I don't care what that show is, but Cat Dennings. Bro, Kat Dennings got, she's, she's had. she's had big titty since I was like a pre-team and she was like a teenager and I was like, dang, bro the milk, the milk, the milk bar and open, huh? Kat Dennings is a snack for sure.

I hear she's a fan of the show. So what's up, Kat Dennings? Yeah, what's up, you homeless, bitch? You want the three-way? What the three-way, huh? Everybody? Okay, you can't do that. What's up?

You can't do that. What's up? You want the three-way, bitch? You want the three-old. You want the cat team? What's up, bitch? What's up, bitch?

I'm a big fan of all of our big-titted homeless listeners. I gotta stop. Liz's gonna hear me say this. She's gonna be like, yo, I'm not fucking, don't fucking say that again. Blowing lots of guys living in a game in a game in a paradise. Transfam Gremlin. Exposing people with Lytocetan to

90 million origins of ionizing radiation. You should not bin, an angelic DM. His name's Apollo. He was a homo. But that was 30 years ago when he still had bros to blow. Craig the Canadian, in the words of the great Maxor, use crack whenever whenever you use your

What the fuck is this? Use crack whenever you use the computer. Okay, cool. It's your boy, Shawnee D. My penis length so long it makes you say, oh my lord, thank you for fucking me in the butt real rough. Thanks, cool. Really clever.

Awesome. My penis is so big, it's long. Like, fucking, what the hell? Look what I just posted in the chat? Oh, no. What did you do? My penis is so big, there's more of it than there is some other things. What is this you're sharing with me?

What is this you're sharing with me? Oh, I've seen this where the plane explodes. I love this video. I'm glad you finally saw this. Dude, man, Seinfeld is a gift, man. It's a gift to this world. Because this wouldn't be not, this wouldn't be funny if you didn't, this wouldn't be as funny if you didn't know the context of these two people.

Like, can we put this in the fucking, can we put this in the episode? I'm going to place the cold open. It's so good. What gets me is him swayed to the side, like, like horizontal as Jerry's screaming. The idea of your friend being yanked out of a fucking plane like that is crazy. I was not expecting this at all. You got to, you just got to continue. Imagine surviving that.

I'm so surprised. Yeah, my best friend's gone. I'm surprised I haven't sent this to you guys. This is old. This is like 2019. It looks old. Oh, fuck.

Yeah, that was good. The sound effects are so good at the faces. So funny. Oh, my God. This is another fucking hilarious what I saw. You definitely saw this one. Stop sending me.

I thought you wanted to end this. I do, but the memes are hitting. I'm, I've just pissed myself. I've already pissed on the floor. I didn't piss on the floor. I just pissed in my room.

I just got to deal with that later. He's going to walk in, but, like, why is there a puddle of fucking, why is there another puddle of piss in the room? Oh my God, this is so funny. This is so fucking funny. I'm going to steal this shit for sure.

I'm a steal the fuck out of this. It's really good. The gentle little gift I gave you guys, dude. Oh, man. Come on, man. We go. Oh, yeah, I did see this one. This one is stupid.

Oh, but, uh. All right. It's the little gift I gave you guys. School shootings prove white people are best at AOE damage. Benigeri's Funky Monkey. Dr. Robotnik's mean, swine machine. Dracula, Flo, got that Pinocchio. Dick, tell my bitch I'm faithful.

Then fuck her like I meant it. 3XO, letting the people know that one piece has a better story than Halo Mass Effect Destiny and the truth may hurt. Slurp and stroke and smoking, joking. Emotikon's going like this. Morning Owlet, Keith David, Drip M.H. Lord of Drip. Matthew Perry getting double-teemed by both worms and maggots as he's laid to rest.

Obie won't should blow me. Docs me, stalk me, my friends. Stock me. Rate me by Nirvana sung by Jack Films. A pizza guy accidentally at Chris Hanson's house. Oh my God, I came ants. Just a whole bunch of ants. That would fucking ruin my life.

Gay peace. Fucking police coming hard as I thrust and pound. Avi. If I had a nickel for every Chris Reagan fan fiction that existed, I would have two nickels. Oh, thank God. Thank God. It's not that many. Women guest suggestions.

Denims Derek's wife, Valana Pierce, Cudely, and that one lady from episode 14. Wage Slate 583. I feel gay. Fuck you. blasting in the background of a cod montage, come, bend me down. You're drilling me, you're drilling me.

I am finished. Are you? The Pupini Brothers Emporium of realistic Cammy and Chunley thigh-shaped neck pillows, self- tightening sold separately. Donk, Donkerson. Do you see Banana Man laying over his white hot ass? Here he comes with a cum for me,

flowing freshly from his banana tree. You've got to pay the troll sold again to the boy's hole. Gade 6. Warm yourself in this busy sun and the semen he'll consume. I'll tell you stories of a gayer time in a club where we once blew. Nice. Nice.

way to ruin fucking prayer of the refugee just coming after just coming after my my music thanks call my dick an abacus the way the only one

the only one who ever used it is my grandpa thin Lizzie's song half castle is about black father's not thinking Phil Lyon

is black enough to date their toddors heyo I'm feeling pretty gayo I'll fuck your a hole let's leave that mattress

stain though uh big scream boy a mean lesbian Milford dekempt I'm high on 12 Jason Borns looking to beat the combat of the fresh oak. John Strickland.

Give me a second. I need to make sure I'm not straight. My friends are in the men of them getting ran through like the nickel plate. Merck's 1889. Should I catch Peter or do a completely useless backflip and let him get fucked up so bad he quits? That's funny. That's literally what you just said. The fact that that is just the world is so funny.

Yeah. Yeah. The first church of Keith David. That was the other meme that he sent the chat, by the way. It was that meme of Miles Morales doing the dumb back flip. He actually flipped more towards where he would have been hit. What makes him so fucked up is that he doesn't even get out the way with it. He just does a flip and Peter hits the wall so hard and gets electrocuted.

And Miles is just like, you good Pete? He's just like, at least canonically Miles still sucks at that point. That's true. he's not great miles. That's at the beginning of the first game. So it's like, it's relatively fair. The first search of Keith David

featuring Chris's team Fortress 2 Scout looking ass, ranting and raving about the name Spider-Man. Miles Morales being gunned down by the IDF because they think he's a palisillian. Pre-Rodge, Blake 896. Brog Cox, the ginger who looks like edge herein with a tiny peepee.

The actual strap-on lace he used to peg me being sold on eBay for $69,000. Thanks for the Cunning linguist recommendation. It's in the playlist now. Getting suspended from school for mispronouncing that one African country. So shit. That's what you whole like a bowl of chili?

Yeah, for shes, for shes genuine. What's up, homie? Alaska, Newfield, trash, Texas state or salad. Insane Latino bussy. Remember by Etienne is a Trojan horse. Sue Hulk, tickle my ass hairs. Nikki Ziki.

Chris, it's Marcus. We lost another car mine to a giant worm. Sea is fine, but there are only 23 left. The, a roughly human-shaped pile of red flags. Emoticon's going like this. Gay Tarik and she'd be like, fuck yo ass, I'm gonna fuck yo ass. Jackson Dupon,

Bradley, Brave, Huggard, Derek, duck, cunt, Goliath voice, I've been denied everything, even my come, Ethereum, Pergerian Hunter, Melfus 1, the angriest crout, enjoying the view from, on Dili Plaza from the sixth floor, and rounding out our list is always, the king of haphazard.

God bless, God bless everyone. I'm gonna go piss brown. Hope everybody, stay safe, have a good weekend. Don't. All right, have fun of this and Brown, everybody. Pissing my mouth.

Pissing my mouth. Pissing my mouth. They killed God with a fucking plastic spoon in Detroit, Michigan. Watch out. All right, let's fucking end it. You got me, Walter.

You got me, Walter. I was here to rape God. You got me, Walter. He got me. You got me. You got me.