The Snark Tank - #192: Bullying Henry Kissinger and Just Pearly Things

Episode Date: December 8, 2023

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before we get to far as that episode I want to say something real quick also welcome to the snark tank podcast all that bullshit you can follow us on Patreon

at the snark tank podcast you can give us your money there you appreciate it I love you guys Onlyfans Onlyfans.com slash Chris R.

Gungne Nice shameless bug from Chris Anyway you better I'm just kidding. You better come with it, though. You better come with it now that you're plugging that shit, though.

I'm just, I'm just joking. I'm just joking. He's not joking. He's not joking. He literally plugged himself, but he's trying to. No, no, no, no, no. No, no. You better come with it, boy.

You better come with it. Henry Kissinger is dead. We killed Henry Kissinger. We finally did it. Talk about that. I got to remember. I got to hold on to this idea. What do you want?

Just say it. Say it. Spit it out. So they recently that an update for Balders Gate 3. And their update, no, the update is amazing. Why would you spoil that? Oh my God, no. No, no, never mind. Never mind.

You even spoiled it for me, niggas. Cut this part. Wait, no, sorry. Did you plan the dark urge, Derek? Can I say, hold on, hold on. Did you plan to dark urge, Derek? Kingston, hold on. You are a bad person.

I am. You are a bad person. I really can't believe you did that. I really cannot. You sat there and did it. You sat there and did it. I try to do the right thing and I do the wrong thing.

I'm a bad person. Derek, can you just bleep out that entire thing? It will be scrubbed, but I will say it didn't bother me as much because I'm already playing it again because I finally, I'm just being as, I was already kind of evil, but now I'm even more evil, like in my third or fourth play through, whatever this is. Because you have to exhaust all options. Like, you can't, do you, what do you get for being evil? Do you get stronger faster? Well, you just, no, it's just a completely. different storyline almost.

Like of who you're traveling with, who you can bang. And it's like, who's with you? Bro, like, okay, like, I know, I don't want to get into it. But let's just say, obviously, game of the year. I mean, it's clear. It's clear. I'm getting scared, man. I think it's going to be.

I think it should be without a doubt. There's a lot of people are calling for other shit. And I'm like, I don't know how you guys are calling for other shit. It's not how that works. It will be game of the year. There's no way it would it be. There's no way it can be. It's not like, it was just like last year there was two clear-cut choices, but there was one obvious choice.

Right? Like there was-a-church-to-you-it-all. So there was Eldon Ring and Radar-Rog. But it was like, clearly everybody enjoyed Eldon Ring way more than Ragnarok. You know what's crazy? I look back at Ragnarok, and Ragnar-Rog feels a bit of an empty game to me. You know what I just realized like a week or two ago? What?

I didn't defeat all of the berserkers. I did not defeat the new Valkyrie Queen That's how much I didn't Care about playing the game thoroughly I forgot to do it I'm telling you I don't know why I am telling you you know why

Yeah It's that split focus man Like I don't I just don't think that was a good idea at all Like I really I noted that at the time I was like this is this I like it It's not a bad game at all the way

Like I'm not saying it's like shit or anything But like I definitely like I don't know half that game was like a miserable experience to me like because I just I really hated playing as Atreus It wasn't it wasn't miserable I enjoyed Atreus what a trace was You know the weird thing is for me Like I did the reason why I didn't hate playing as Atreus is because The way that the game play the combat is set up

And this is from going from an old school God of War fan It's set up it works way better as Atreus The way that you can move it works way better The way that I want to play as Cratos I feel so controlled the way that it's set up versus the old games. Compared to what you used to be able to do before. So I think that's why,

even though I still love being Cretus, obviously, but I just feel so contained. And with the Treyas, the way that I can dodge, the triple dodging, the fucking, you know, diving and shooting and stuff like that, it worked well for the camera angles for me. And so, but I still, but we can't forget about that whole ironwood thing.

That shit makes me not want to play the game again. Because I was thinking, oh, I should play it again. I was like, I don't want to go through. Well, when you're with that one chick and you're in the giant world. Yeah, the very first part of Atreus by himself, it's like, come on, dude, it's so boring. I don't want to do that again. I just, I can't. It was the worst.

And I'm not even being, I'm not even being hyperbolic. That was the worst gaming experience I had in a very long time. I really can't. It was pretty bad. Yeah. I can't remember. Even a game. Because even a game that's, because even a game that's really bad.

If it's like, like, even if a game was like really, really bad, there's like something about that that's entertaining. Like, Lord of the Ring, Ghalam was so fucking funny. And that Kong game and that Walking Dead, do you, have you seen gameplay footage that Walking Dead game? I want to play that shit. We're like, so badly. It looks so shit. Walking Dead Destinies is a game that kind of came out in the last like a month or two. It looks crazy, dude.

It's so fucking, it's crazy bad. Like, one of the worst games. This year's crazy because it's, this year's so weird because. because it's like some of the best games of all time probably came out this year, and then like, and then the worst games I've ever seen, probably. Dude, you haven't seen any of that shit, Kingston? It's not even slightly.

Dude, there's, can I say, let me point this out. There's a trailer for the Walking Dead Destinies that has, and the whole gimmick of that game is like, oh, if you're a fan of the Walking Dead, you can kind of experience the story again, but this time you can change key elements. You can change key elements of the story, so you can like,

Oh, instead of Shane dying, you can make Rick die, and then Shane's the protagonist. It's a cool premise, I guess, if you're really into Walking Dead, but they botched it so hard. There's a scene where all of the main characters are walking towards the camera and, like, a hero shot, and Herschel is walking normally without his leg. Yeah. Like, they just made his leg from his knee down invisible,

and he's just walking with everybody in the trailer for the game. it's not even like a glitch or like an oversight it's straight up in the marketing material and so like dude it is so fucking funny it's but uh the voice act there's so many it's it's just incredible it's incredible that's why i was like kind of tearing up because i'm a better man than you rick i'm better than you rick i'm gonna shoot you in the face

rick did you did you see those you know what sucks you know it sucks, that part of the series is really fucking good. Like, Rick and Shane when Shane dies, that shit is like, that's amazing television. And I'm like, come on, dude, don't ruin it. Spoiler alert.

for the Walking Dead, by the way, but that's on you, honestly, at this point. Like, it's been so long. Yeah, yeah. Baldur's Gate was a bit egregious. My apologies about that. It literally was a fresh patch. It came out yesterday. It came out yesterday. Dude, I've said this for years.

Kingston cannot help himself. He spoils shit for everybody. It's just in his DNA to do that. I don't know. He comes from a long line of ruiners. Derek's this game. Derek's beat this game already. I beat this game once.

Derrick be it three times. He'll know about it. No. I looked at the thing and I was like, oh my God, look. It's such a cute little thing. I'm like, this is so nice. And then I get excited and I tell you by and I ruin it. I will say, though, I will say, I'm glad you said that only because after I'm done

with my last evil run through, I was probably going to put the game away for a while, but I'll probably do it one more time so I can experience what you said. Because that sounds wholesome, sounds nice. But yeah, yeah, man. Because they go through a lot of fuck shit in that game. That game is like, it's really cool

and it's like very whimsical, but so much bad stuff happens to every character constantly, dude. Yeah, I will say I'm not a, I will say, I'm not a fan. This is, I guess I can't even say that. I'm not a fan of, I don't like, even though I understand it that I wish I could have a good ending for everyone. I wish it was possible. But you know how games always, and this is what makes them good.

There are consequences for things you do. I understand that. But sometimes I wish, I wish I could be God and be like, no, I want everything to work out in my favor. But it's impossible. That's obviously what makes it good I get it But I just want I want to save everybody I want everyone who's a piece of shit to be punished

I want every but it just doesn't work out that way Like there's certain people that you want to just fuck up That you can't fuck up in the game for example And it it irks me It's like you stupid bitch Fuck you and there's nothing I can do When I want to kill you But anyway that way if you haven't seen that Walking Dead shit

You got you got to see it Did you guys see There was these clips floating around. When Walking Dead joined Fortnite and there was these guys that would make these voiceovers, this shitty like, oh, uh, Carl

says he's gay, then Rick shoots him in the face and, you know, fucking, uh, what's his name? What the fuck are you talking about? It's just some guy that, like, they're in the prison and he's like, oh, dad, I'm gay or something, he's like, no son of mine's gay and he just shoots him in the face. And then

that fucking remix Walking Dead song starts playing and then they're doing the emoji dances and shit. It's so stupid, but it's hilarious and the reason I bring this up is because the way that the voices the kids are doing the voices reminds me of this game that just dropped where it's so

it's so exaggerated it's like what the fuck is this it's truly outrageous and that's what I mean though it's like those games a game like that that's bad from the get-go is just it's entertaining that that even exists right you can find enjoyment out of that but like God of War is like God of War

is good and so when there's like a really shitty part in it it just like sticks out so much worse. Like I would rather play the Walking Dead Destinies easily than that part of God of War Ragnarok. Right. By 100%. Like by a wide margin.

I still can't believe that that was, it's one of those things that I cannot believe that they left that in the game, that they didn't cut it by 45 minutes or something. That it is so crazy to me that I have not seen anyone who said they enjoy that. that I think they're lying. I haven't seen... Yeah, because I haven't seen anyone that actually, even fanboys of the game, they're like, yeah, that part was kind of lame.

I just haven't seen anyone enjoy it. So when they were testing the shit out, who was like, yeah, that was great. That was great pacing, man. That was fucking amazing. I don't know. I loved it. I loved picking flowers for paint for 10 years.

I love it. It's the best. This is exactly what I want to do in God of War. In God of War, right? Dude, it reminded me of another PlayStation game that I really fucking hated Days Gone. Just the zombie motorcycle

game that came out in like 2018 or whatever. That game fucking sucked. Did it? In such a deep way. Like I just couldn't, it got good like at the last third apparently

according to a lot of people who stuck with it. But it's just like that's, no, I'm not. That's not a... There's scenes where you're like walking with your wife along a shore and it's like you're playing through it and there's there are literally cutscenes in that game that like fade to black and then fade out from like they fade in and fade out to the same location moments apart like moments like moments like minutes and it's just like what is why don't you just write this in a way like you control how you write this why'd you do that

I couldn't believe it man people who ride or die for that game there are people who like man days gone's like really underrated you're I God bless you for being able to stick with it through all that bullshit, but no way. No chance. I saw it for like 12 bucks on Steam or something or somewhere. I just couldn't put the trigger. It's not worth it. Okay. Yeah, I won't.

I couldn't do it. Yeah, I never. As soon as I saw it was hordes of zombies, I was like, yeah, I don't care. Yeah, I saw some people having fun with blowing, like killing the zombies. I saw scenes of that, which made me like, oh, maybe I want to get it. But then I was thinking, just like what you were saying right now, oh, they're probably going for a very super serious vibe trying to, uh, like I don't, I don't need another, uh, it's so awkward, man.

What's the, it feels that famous game? Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that. It feels like it's trying to be last of us, but it doesn't have the writing chops to be able to do it. Like, there's scenes where, first of all, driving motorcycles around in a, zombie apocalypse is insane in the first place. That's like the worst vehicle you could possibly have.

Uh, second of all, there's scenes where he's, like, listening to, like, the main villain on the radio and that he's screaming at the radio. Like, he's like, he'll, he'll, he'll, he'll, he'll, have a conversation with the radio, and he's so loud. He's, like, screaming to himself on this motorcycle driving in a post-apocalypse, like, as if he's talking to the person. And it's so awkward. I don't know, man.

I fucking hate that. Are the zombies fast? I feel like a motorcycle is a decent thing if the zombies aren't quick. I just feel like if you get, like, barricaded by, like, if they surround you're done, like, if you ever surround or you're done, you can't. It's not the worst. I'll put it this way. It's not the worst game I've ever played.

It's not like there's no fun to. be had there, it's just, it's just so low quality. Like, everything about it is mid. I couldn't bring one up by it. Even the fun, even the fun you feel from it is mid-tier fun. It's like fun in the way that like, I don't know, pissing skid marks out of a toilet is fun, you know? Where it's like, I guess, like, I guess, I guess, I guess I'm having slightly more fun right

now than I was moments ago. Pissing skid marks. That's crazy. Anyway, Henry Kissinger. Henry Kissinger has been murdered in cold blood. He's 100 years old. Finally did. Yeah, I had a good time pissing skin marks out of my toilet.

It's like, what the fuck? You had fun doing that. You had a pretty good time. Henry Kissinger got swirly to death and choked on some skid marks. His final words was. He did the ice bucket challenge. But he was too frail and weak to sustain the damage. He did the fucking challenge and a bucket hit him in the head and killed him.

now it's just the water man yeah the water was too heavy he killed him did you see how the media that guy that shit like oh this

what what a very he's a very interesting man a very influential like there was like all these pieces on yeah they would just say like

in passing like some people find him a little controversial and I'm like what the fuck is happening some people find him a little controversial dude bombed Laos

with like millions of bombs. I think Laos is like the most bombed country in the world in all of history because Henry Kisinger dropped millions of cluster bombs all over that place. Wasn't even part of the war, by the way.

This was like during, I think, I think Vietnam. And then he was just like, hey, Laos, wouldn't it be cool if I just seasoned you with cluster? Those cluster bombs, by the way, are still going off to this day. People are like,

kids are like finding them in parks and like playing with them and exploding. Farmers are like digging into their fucking crop field. Like it's it's not a, like he is, for the last like several decades, he has been murdering Asians with no consequence at all. So yeah, like I don't have much sympathy for this guy. It's like how is how the fuck? I saw some people. This is by the way, this goes into the conversation that we were having last week about that soft language, man. this is what I'm talking about.

You can't just call a spade a spade anymore because it's like, oh, well, he's a respected member of Congress or whatever the fuck. I remember somebody telling me... That nigger sucks. He sucks. I can't remember who died. Dang, it was somebody... It might have been someone in the Bush or something.

I can't remember who it was. I can't remember who it was, but it was someone like adjacent to like a Henry Kissinger or something. And I just remember saying like, like rest, you know, like a lot of people say rest and piss or I said something. I remember people, like a handful people are like, oh, that's fucked up.

Like, you know, he's dead. I'm just, I don't understand. This whole respect in the dead thing even if there were fucking monsters is the craziest shit to me. Or like this revisionist history thing where, what was it? I think we might have talked about this before

were I think Bush offered Michelle a candy or vice versa or something. and people are like, oh yeah, yeah. There's at something, I can't remember. I can't even remember the whole context, but people are like, oh, what a wholesome moment. And I'm like, did you guys forget how many fucking people died at the expense of this nigga? Like, are you serious?

Yeah. Like, I don't know how. And then the same thing for a, one thing I'll, I think it was, there's a rapper. Her name's a no name. And she got in trouble for, because it showed Obama. He showed up, I think he showed up to, like, Flint or something. and he was playing basketball he was like shooting threes

and people like I remember that man and then she was just like like fuck this war criminal like she just like and people are like whoa that's crazy and I'm like is it crazy dude he's the drone we know we always make jokes about his drone striking and shit and then people I'm like what is this dance of like

oh yeah this guy's weird yeah like I dream of not dream but like I I fantasize about meeting some of these people like pretending to be cool with them taking a picture but then Like that's when you like, you know, flip them off or you do some type. Like I picture, I want, I want one of those moments.

I would love that. You want a moment. You want a moment. You want to tan of these people. Yeah, basically. Yeah. That's too short game for me. That's too short game for me.

I wanted to become their friends one day. I wanted to become friends with them. And I'm going to be like, yo. So, Brock, what about all those like brown people with you like vaporized? Like, let's do with that. Like, it's not going to talk about that. Like, is that like on a hotchups or something like that? Like that's like, that's like, that's on a low.

It is my dream. What do you mean? I'm like, remember all those brown people that turned into dust because of you? Remember the gods of strips? It was good with that. It is, it is my absolute dream to like meet somebody like that, to meet somebody and befriend them and get close with them and then marry them and spend my whole life with them as like a loving, as like a loving figure and like go through hell and back.

And, you know, we're sitting in hospice care at the end of our lives. And I just whisper over it's like, I've never meant any of it. this. I did all this to fuck with you. None of this was real. I hate you. I fucking hate you. So deep. I just wanted to keep you away from true love this whole time, actually. That was my only goal. That's pretty cool. You still gave her true love, though.

No, it's not because it's falling apart at the end. It's just ripped it away. That's the cruelty of it. Where it's like, oh, man. What if I can turn Obama gay? It's so dumb. You think I can convince Obama. You still loved me. You still gave me.

Oh, he's the person who loves the game. Yeah, but it's fake and you die. It's fake. I'm going to turn. And by the way, all of your kids hate you as well, all the kids we had together. Like, I've been told you. I've always hated you too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You will not be remembered. We're filled nuts in you so your kids would hate you. We photoshopped. We photoshopped you out of all of the family photos. We legally erased your name from all of our documents. You will be erased from history. You will have no legacy. No one will remember you.

No one loved you ever, really. actually now that I think about it, even back then when I met you for the first time, it's kind of nuts to have so many people around you and no one love you. Wild. So who'd you do that too? Anyway. Who's your target? That's the thing.

I don't hate anybody enough to do that. But I wish I did. You know what I would love to do that to you though? Even though I don't hate her, I'd nothing her. I'm indifferent. Pearl, just pearly things. I would love to get close to her. That'd be so purple.

Just break her heart. Can I say something about just pearly things? I almost feel bad for her, honestly. Do you just, because it's so... I do kind of, because it's so... It's really pathetic, you know? Who is that? I don't know.

Okay, well... I can't explain me. I can't explain. Quick little synopsis, but I would encourage you to watch Jay Aubrey's video. I think it was pretty good on her. Yeah, it's really good. Yeah, so, I mean, long story short, she was just some low self-esteem reject, right?

Oh my God, is that that white girl, that super misogynistic white girl? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you got it. I don't know what I would do to her. You know what I would do to her? You know what I would do to her? You know what I would do to her? You don't make her feel really, really bad. They feel really, really, really bad. I'm not going to say that wow. That's crazy. I was going to say that's so insane. I was, I was just going to say I would, I would introduce a turn of an abuse relationship, but I thought that was like, that's a little too much. She would stay

with them, too. Yeah, I mean, you laid, you laid the track work to get there. And and then immediately reneged at the end. I was going to say, because it was going to be way more personal than I was, I was going to say some shit that would have got me, like, for real, actually canceled. And I can't say that.

Yeah, because you're a bad person. Anyway, I'm not, I have bad thoughts like everybody else. She deserves, she deserves to have true love ripped away from her. I firmly believe that because, you know,

because it's just one of those things where you know she doesn't believe all the shit she's saying, obviously, she's just really bad at, she's really bad at grifting. She's not even doing, she's doing a terrible job at it. but I would love for her to finally live the life that she's been preaching, you know,

she's talking about, oh, being young and getting married and being fertile, and she's like, none of that. She's like, at her, the way that she talks, she's already past her prime. She's mid, and she says all this shit about her. But then I'm like, but you're not married. You're not having kids. You're not doing anything. So obviously it's fake.

We all know this. So I would love to just be like, yeah, you know, like, oh, I think you're so great and all this shit. And then like I said, 40 years down the road. and you just be like, he's stupid bitch, I don't get a fuck about you. You know, you slap her a little bit. Just fucking kick her down the stairs.

You slap her a little bit. But, you know, padded stairs, though. It's not like hard wood, you know, like there's carpet on the stairs, so it doesn't hurt that much. You just kind of over-guised. And you're like, fucking, like, you dumb bitch. You fucking strike her one time really hard.

Like, really, really hard. You fucking do like, bam, her running hand really hard. She, like, cries a little bit. I'm like, ah, ha, ha. He's all jokes. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. He smacked her one more time.

She was his consciousness. she's tall as fuck. She looks like she's tall. Yeah, she looks, she looks tall, yeah. Yeah, so that would be crazy. That would be fucking... Are we, are we done impersonating Matt Rife? Should we get to questions?

Yeah. So what? You gotta hit a woman every now in Mnardt and Henry Kissinger or something. There's probably some degree separation somehow. Yeah, yeah, somehow. The fact that he was like, the fact that he come to find out he had his job made is crazy. They made his jawline. Oh, that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously, they made his jawline. It's just the most obviously fake thing I've ever seen. I guess. I didn't fucking, I don't know. I don't look at his jaw is hard enough to be like, oh, your jawline's fake.

I've seen him, though. I've seen, your jawline doesn't change when you're that old, bro. Not at that, not in that way. Like, you've got to, like, it just doesn't.

It doesn't get better. He's not big enough to be taking, like, you know, human growth hormone or something. You know, like, that thing, that thing, that thing. They're like,

hey, get this on your jawline or pronounce you got to chew on it. I don't really help so much That shit didn't help at all That's like Everybody eats every fucking day Everyone's fucking jaw should be Like it's so stupid

It's such a stupid thing And I remember there was YouTube ads Like in 2014 In 2014 there was just Explosion of YouTube ads Chew on this stupid fucking ball To get your jaw to find And I'm like I can't believe this is

That nigga probably made money though Do you think that was because of the levy thing? Har, har, har, I don't know. It was either earlier or after. It was too much before and definitely too much after. I don't know, but maybe there was,

oh yeah, I think it was like 2015, 2016. Yeah, I think that was before, actually. That wave came before, like in 2012. Because when did I just put out that video? And then after in 2018, 19. When did I just put out that chin video? That was like,

um, I'm assuming like 2016 or something. I really don't know. If you're going to do that, at least be quite do it silently you fucking asshole oh my god just ruining the track all right let's move on to questions i fucking i hate I'm not even making noise though

yes you're making noise retard god damn it you can't hear yourself you're not in the same room as you what do you mean what do you mean am I making noise oh man anyway like muscle muscular jaw

the totally real the totally real Manhattan circus tent wrote in. He says to all three of you, when at a urinal, do you take your cock and balls out or just the cock? Who takes their balls out? Sometimes they got to let them breathe a little bit, you know? You take your balls out of year. You're fucking weird. I pull my pants all the way down. I pull my pants all the way down.

Like a little kid. And I lift my shirt. I legit saw that. Actually, I in, I invasively, I maybe even say illegally, this old Walmart employee. You know, when they have those fossils working in the in the in the in the front of the store so this dude comes into the pisser drops his fucking pants cheeks all exposed just pissing in the year and on i'm like what and of course i just whack got my cell phone out took a picture fucking hashtag people at walmart i illegally photograph this guy of course i illegally photographed this nude man of course i mean it's a break in the law just now it's not every day you see that happening man

This dude is like 80 years old. Just imagine he's been doing that shit for at least 70-something years. It's kind of crazy to think about that. It is crazy to imagine that he never got beat up or bullied out of that behavior. Because everybody says that he turns out he's pissing at them. They're like, yo, go, go, put that away. Yeah, that shit was wild. But, no, see, sometimes you can take, it's rare.

It depends. Like, say, if you have, like, gym shorts on, for example. and then if you want to just hands-free piss easily if you take your cock and balls out and then it easily rest under your gym shorts you can't do that with like what would you call it jeans or something like that it has to be something elastic

but then that's if you want to be hands free you want to have like your phone you want to scratch your fucking head while you're pissing you know you just want to multitask a little bit or when you're like really beating draining you got to like lean on the thing you're like yeah those nights were yeah the late night

To the bar, you're just fucking tired. Like for me, like the post, the post swimming pisses are the ones that get me, dude. Like, after I swim for like an hour or two, like, I'm really drained and I go and I piss. And, like, my body's like, I'm damn near like my arms on the urinal metal part in front of me. And I'm like, oh, my God, bro. And I feel like you feel gross because the water out of your body is making you less boignant. So the gravity's hate you harder than it would before. You got to be careful, though.

That's how you piss all over. the place, man. You get too tired. You can, you, you, you got to, that's when you really, that's when it really counts for you to aim, to, to hold your piece steady. The idea of somebody taking off, taking off their balls, the piss is crazy to me, dude. It's pretty well, but someone going to a urinal,

they cup, take out everything, and then piss, it's like, dude, what are you doing? You take out your dick so you don't zip your ball sack. You don't take out. the whole fucking kid in kaboodle. If you're doing jeans, you don't, yeah, you don't take out your dick and or balls.

I'm telling you can do it if you're just wearing like gym short or something. You can do it. And then it'll rest your balls hold your dick in place. So you don't have to hold your penis while you're pee. It does. It's a nice little support right there. It's just nice and propped up. And then, uh, you just pee freely.

Little splash and little, little to no splash. Sometimes you, you know when you know when you know you mastered pissing. because I wear flip flops a lot. And so if you don't, if you don't piss at the right angle, you're getting piss on your fucking toes. It's disgusting. So you,

so I know how to pissing on my toes. You go to. I am pro pissing on my toes. I just love it. I love it. I love being on my toes. I love it. I love seasoning my tutsies with piss.

I love it. I'm very happy for you. That's crazy. That's why I piss in my hands and then I dump it on my feet sometimes. That's so fucking insane That is a person who needs to be Like really genuinely excommunicated

In like a Napoleonic way Like sent to like an island Way far away Remember you can't You can't always do that The Polia came back That is true Napoleon came back in a wild way too

Because didn't like the opposing army He came back better Didn't the shore didn't the opposing army like meet him at the shore And then they were like We're actually with him now I'm pretty sure that actually happened He came back with an army again it took over.

No, no, no, he came back, and then the army that met him joined him, I'm pretty sure. That's crazy. And it's like, how? That's what kind of game was he spitting, bro? To be like, yo, if y'all joined me, I know how, well, I guess, because he was the general. And it was like, if you guys join me, we're taking them down easy. I know all of their plans. And I guess that worked.

He's interesting, I don't know. I don't know. I didn't know really, I still don't really know much about him. But, like, every time I learn anything new about him, it's, it's fascinating to me. Like, this guy had that much pull. Derek, you think he could beat him in single combat and Napoleon? It would depend on his age. Like, say, if we're the same age, probably not.

Yeah, Napoleon is prime, you're losing, man. Like, you're losing. Really? I feel like he wasn't a, I feel like he wasn't a, like, he was a warrior, definitely more of a general. What did you be? What did you be, would you be a seasoned warrior if you were, like, that's all you do? Generals don't exactly mean warriors, but that could mean warrior. No, they, they, they, so the sheer narcissism, the sheer narcissism and bloodlust alone would just, like, you would, you would look into his eyes and you would be afraid, I think.

First of all, I think he's taller than me. If I remember correctly, if I remember, no, I think he was like 5-9 or something. No, he was about 5-6, 5. I can be wrong. I don't think that's right. I heard he was like 5, 6, 5, 7. Yeah, I heard he was taller Like because 5-6, 5-7's kind of short But he was the whole like him being short was bullshit

So I think I think he's like he's got he's got a little bit of reach on me I'm sure I don't go to war ever I don't spend any time with Yeah he's about 5-6 That's what it says 5-6 I thought he was tall Oh no no no no he's got bodies I'm not killing him never mind

He was he had bodies on his hands Never mind Well I mean how would you like say you don't just be the general just by showing up. Usually you've got to rank up. You got to earn that fucking position. Bro is doing some crazy. Some crazy shit.

I would kill me easily. If he's like old as shit, then I'll be like, oh, fuck this old ass. I'll fuck him up. But other than that, I'll beat any. I don't care what, you know, there's like some hardened old dudes that have like all this knowledge, but they're still brittle. Your bones are going to break on mine. So he read.

So he has had. had more than one victory in three-way struggle combats against royalists, revolutionaries, and corsarian nationalists. So that means that regularly they'd be outnumbered, and because of his tactics, they would win. They'd beat both armies regularly. So, yeah, because I feel like, because I'm a big dude, and I feel like at my prime, if I, but I'm not a killer.

That's the thing. I don't have the killer's edge that I feel like motherfuckers back then and like Amazonians and Congo niggas have now. Well, you have to understand. They were, they were. I'm going to kill you. Like you're going to fight me. You're going to die. You have to understand that like this dude was like, they were so afraid of this guy that they sent him to an island and then placed people there to watch it.

Like it wasn't even just a normal exile where it's like you get just get the fuck away. It was like we're going to send you here with a. bunch of our people to make sure you don't fucking get away. That is crazy. That's crazy at that time, especially. It's so fucking weird. I don't know. I guess they'd probably believed him like he was like supernatural or something because I was back in the time where that would probably

you know, that kind of thing would probably be believed by a lot of people, but like... They were also French too, you know. Yeah, they're also French. The French suck, bro. Historically, they fucking suck, Nick. Napoleon is literally the only thing...

The only chance they got... The only chance they got... Not to suck was Napoleon and he was kind of a monster. I think they get a bad rap. I don't think there is. That's crazy. Derek, you know history. The French suck.

Like, in which way? Like, what do you mean? Like, sort of low-key being the cause of World War II and one, giving up every time they have a chance to stand up for themselves during a grand giant war. They were the cause of World War I or two. What are you talking about? They were heavily the cause of World War II, bro.

Treaty of Versailles. They were very much so, like, one of the reasons why World War II happened. because they wanted to overtax Germany because they've hated Germany for centuries. They went to war. Germany and France went to war as countries like maybe like 12 times in like the 1,000 year period. They're really like like like like they, I think they, I think like. The reaction they had to Germany from World War I was super unnecessary. I think they I think they stood their ground.

I think they, what was it? I'm not going to get into the history, but I know there was just like, this is an history podcast. They, they fought valiantly and didn't, you know, give up, obviously. I think the whole giving,

I think the whole giving up thing, it's, it's a little bit overplayed. It's, it's what, I feel like that's, it's what you should do. Yeah.

Yeah, but I feel like it's fine. Nowhere else did. That's what makes it funny. Like everywhere else kind of tried a little bit. And then they were like, like we seek surrender and they were like all right and everybody was like you guys gave up you guys gave up

everybody else fought at least the little domino on that is crazy it's like they surrender once and then they're known for that forever it is kind of it's kind of wild but uh yeah whatever this isn't a history podcast uh you know let them eat their fucking what is it

what is it called what do they eat escargette escargo escargo escarget escarget That was the most American moment of your life. Yeah. A French food's pretty bombed, dude.

Let's move on. Patience was pretty good, I guess. Palm Fritz. Oh, yeah. And thank God those French fucking colonized them, man. Holy shit. Thank God. Thank God they came there and they got those fellers.

They put them in line. That shit is crazy. It took them forever to get those motherfuckers out of them, man. Here's a question. No, bro. They were the first to do it. Haiti was the first place to rebel. Let's go, let's go.

History's fun. I like talking about it. Here's a question from Chris turning into the Quagmire toilet at Creator Clash. That'd be insane. Nice. That'd be fucking terrifying. That even, I hate that image of Quagmire as a toilet. It's like one of the most distressing images.

It's all I want to be, bro. Fucking ultra pervert. He says, hello three of the four horsemen of the gay apocalypse. For $300 million, would you accept the infamy and reputation of Chris Chan? The info would be a Google search away. No legal consequences, only social ones. 300 mil? Yes.

Yeah, I think it was so much. You say whatever the fucking want to bop me for $300 million. Right. I feel like with that amount of money, I could very easily repair that reputation. I wouldn't even try to. I wouldn't give a fuck. I would have a backfee. I would have a backfee.

I would turn it to Batman I was gonna say the same shit I would just turn into Batman I would go in this tube and have motherfuckers workout and strengthen my body and that I'd have waked stronger So do you know what the

Do you guys know what the newest Do you guys know what the newest lore is Because apparently You know obviously There was a big thing with him Allegedly sleeping with his mom That was like the big That was the big story a couple years ago

That made everybody was like Oh fuck that's crazy that's over the top. And apparently, and I, this is even, this to me is even crazier than just doing that.

But apparently it came out that like he lied about it. He lied about doing that because he wanted to seem cool. Yeah, I think he was trying to impress by proving that he wasn't a, he was trying to.

Yeah, he was trying to impress a girl that he was talking to. So he said, yeah, I had sex. I've had sex before. I'm not a virgin.

And then they said with who and he said with my, with my mom, or with Barbara because he for some it is crazy in a way that I totally believe for him to think like oh you know what would be a good thing to lie about people will think it's cool if I say I fucked my mom

I fucked my mom am that insane it's so insane that like I would I could maybe excuse his you know because of his condition if his mom was young and smoking hot, I'd be like, well, this guy is on the spectrum and he just picked this.

I'd be like, okay, I see how we could make that connection, but it's still obviously horrific, but his mom's fucking so old and so dementia. It's like, come on, man, are you really that, well, yes, the answer is yes, you really are that fucked to even suggest that. The thing about it is we'll never, we'll never really know the truth because both of them, both of those scenarios seem very, very possible when you're talking about this person. You know what I mean? I would say...

I could see him doing that and I could see him lying about it because he thought it was cool, even though both of those are fucking mega fucking nuclear level insane. Right. I feel like the... I feel like what's more is... I feel like what's more realistic is that he's lying but or she or whatever. And Chris Chan always wanted to fuck. maybe.

Fantasize when Chris Chan was younger maybe fantasized because there's a lot of there's a lot of dudes in therapy and also well girls actually

that want to fuck their dads and stuff that's like a thing I know there's terms for that Jesus Christ yeah I give so few fucks

about this conversation it's insane I care so little about this conversation is now we can move on we can move on let's go were you tired

of not spoiling something? thing for everybody. I was just, I was looking at the Chitty of Versailles, bro, and I was like, damn, Germany got fucked. So other than that, I was just like, you do you think, what's good? What's next? Just hitting too close to.

I like laughing at Europeans. It makes me happy. All right. Too much incest, bro. This is a fascinating question because I feel like, I feel like it's just, this is a strange one. Chocolate Rain by Tay Zunday, uh, penis, man. He fucks you.

The way you said it, but so, penis, you said it with you the smallest amount of excitement. Like, be as little excited as you can. You're like, penis man.

Is this the marriage of like the lore? What are you talking about? What's happening? Because there was, there was two people. There was penis man and sir something. Lord sex man. Lord sex man and penis man.

Lord sex. It was Lord sex man and penis man. Or sex man and penis man. So is this why it's penis man and it doesn't rhyme at all with gay? Is that a rain? I mean, excuse me? Well, no, hold on. Go ahead.

Go ahead. I don't think he's trying. I don't think he's trying. Let me just get through the name. His name is Chocolate Rain by Taze Dane. He goes, penis man. He fucks you. Then he comes in.

Your wife, penis man. I guess. Yeah, all right. That's fine. Yeah. So he wrote in. He wrote in with a fascinating question. And it's only fascinating because I just don't really understand what the,

I don't really understand it Question for gay, gay and gayer Would you rather have sex with a guy Can be a fictional character, I guess In parentheses Yes And you're the top And you're the top

Or have sex with a woman can be fictional But she has to peg you No, you can't end your life I mean There's nothing to kill yourself over damn Yeah like that's just so good It's like I'm No you can't kill yourself

Like he just gets that You can't hear yourself. You can't hear yourself. That's not allowed. They're going to yourself over that. That's crazy, dude. In his mind, it's like, that's kill yourself worthy, fucking a guy or fucking a girl getting peg.

Or girl fucking your ass. Like, I mean, look, if we're going to be real, like realistically, wait, did you say it could be any dude? It could be any dude. It could be any woman, I guess, yeah. Well, see, that's so. So, like, but realistically, you said, oh, you have to be pegged. Okay, lawyering, like, okay, peg me with, like, a fucking pencil or something that's literally not going to, that it'll feel uncomfortable, but it's not tearing my ass up, right?

Like, say, a fucking, I imagine getting, getting destroyed by a deal. That sounds terrifying to me because I know, like, there's levels of this shit, right? You got to, like, you got to, you can't. Yeah. I imagine something that is even smaller than like a thing or something because I feel like I need to be like 40 years old to where I'll be ready to like experiment. I'm just not there, bro. I'm just not there.

I know you mean, yeah. I'm not. I have pegging is something that's so beyond the scope of what I'm even remotely curious about. But I mean, at the end of the day, like if if the choice was, you know, a guy or a girl, but she had to peg me, it's like, I mean, I'm straight. I'm not gay So like I mean I'll I guess I'll figure out how that

I guess like I guess I'll figure out The pegging thing I guess you know I just watch something I'm hate Fucking I'm hate fucking her legs Out of you so bro Like the like the Get Back I'm gonna get from her

Is going to be so Outrage gonna have to go to a hospital Like I'm gonna get her back Crazy I'm gonna mix a concoct in the kitchen that is going to help me like my penis might not work anymore like I'm going to get her back. So here's the million dollar question.

Here's the question. How are you receiving? Are you going to be on your back with your legs spread open? Are you going to be doggy? What are you doing? Doggy. The idea of myself in doggy style getting tossed across my lily. The idea of Lily taking a fucking taking a dildo out of her.

of my ass and slap it on my cheeks. It's such a fucking disrespectful idea. Yeah. It's so demoralizing. You got to put on the Gip mat. Just go full blood. Just submit, dude. Just put on the Gip,

they put on the Gimp suit so they can't see themselves. So they look up, they see something else in the mirror. Not them going through that, you know? Is that what that's for you think? I think that's why. Because I couldn't, because I couldn't love myself anymore. that personally that's interesting so you would be where everybody else is

that's interesting I couldn't do that uh... shame a gimp thing being a shame thing that's that is interesting I don't it maybe there's shameful for me that I don't know you're kind of just blowing my fucking mind because

maybe there's a lot of people you're not ready for you weren't ready to learn that probably people that are like because I know what you mean about the shameful thing. So what if putting on like a, like, I just bought a slip-knock mask I'm going to do for some parody? What if I put on that slip-knock mask?

Will I feel less bad about it? Well, I feel like, nah, you were fucking Corey Taylor. That was that one me. That was, that was me. You're out of your fucking, you're out of your motherfucking mind, Eric. You're out of your goddamn

mind. You were doing that. That was you. That was you. What's me? You're talking about. That's crazy. You have conversation. You're like Willam Defoe and Spider-Man one talking to the mask at night time.

You be letting Toto Chrissy your cheek is like, no, you do that. I don't do that. I'm not there. It's you do it. Look, I'm going to bring it up to her when I turn 40. We're going to see. We're going to see where I'm at. I can't.

Once that happens to you, you know, you had about buck breaking. You know, you know Treek the sheet's buck breaking. I can't let that happen. What fuck is buck breaking? What's that happened to me, bro? It's, well, bug breaking is a real thing,

but don't, you can't, you can't learn from Derek to Shee. It's just a, humanizing, emasculating black men, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

It's just like, there's a term that, like, say you have to humiliate to emasculate and to, because there's this whole narrative about how black men are beast and stuff

and that you have to essentially break their spirit and their masculine, because really what was about long story short is that the white man back then was extremely intimidated by the prowess and the you know just how them you know brothers be fucking they were dicking down their their wives like really really good and so that was a that was obviously a problem and uh they had to do something about it which they called but the idea the idea of that is crazy like this is like these african slaves come to america and just fuck their

way through the wives of these fucking slave bastards. Like that shit is so fucking funny. So all those guys were crusty, fat just, and then you had like these these dudes that were being forced to fucking work so they're strong as fucking oxes and stuff.

They're fucking sweating and glistening and these bitches are just like, I want that. That's way better than this shit that I fucking married. What the fuck? Insane. Yeah, but yeah, yeah. But yeah, yeah. So I don't know. I'll cross

I'm a crossover, dude. I'm a, I think once I get, I just want to get buffed. I think that's my biggest thing. I need to get like extremely shredded and then maybe I'll feel like, all right, now, now you can like do some weird shit to me because I feel, I'm so secure with myself now. I'm so, I'm so into myself. Now you can do some weird shit to me. I don't know. I can imagine me doing that to me.

So yeah, exactly. Exactly. All right. The coat ghost. It's not a question, but it's a, it's a little right in that I felt like I should read. The coat ghost, uh, ruined. And he says, Ayo, new patron here, ditched an old Patreon. Ditched an old Patreon stuff I wasn't enjoying anymore and dipped into this one while

still saving two dollars. Feels good. Keep up the good work fellows. Welcome aboard. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Welcome. Much appreciated. Fuck that other those other people. Yeah. Yeah. They're trying to be. Where do you money, but fuck them. Yeah. Yeah, man. Let's move on. Can't think of a name. Fuck you, Rodin. He says, Hey, ho, Gabros. You guys. You guys. have mentioned the Budikai games a few times on the show. So I was curious what you guys think about the announcement of Budikai Tenkhaichi four a few months ago. Excited, don't care or praying for the downfall of whoever makes it. I love to hear what you think. I'm stoked about it was... I'm extremely

excited. It's been such a stack year that I actually forgot that that was even announced. But yeah, like I'm... I love those games. I don't... Look, man, I don't think it's going to... I think the magic isn't going to be there in the same way that it used to be when I was a kid, obviously for obvious reasons. I mean, I'm looking forward to it. Even if it's the same type of game that it used to be, just sharper and at a higher frame rate, I'll be pretty happy, honestly. It's kind of annoying to me that those original games

aren't backwards compatible at all. Like, I mean, it's annoying. Those games are gone, man. I know, but that's a shame. That's a shame is what I mean. I feel the same way about the old Spider-Man games. Like, I don't know, man. Those are fun.

Those are fun weird games. that like I feel like should be preserved in a way that they aren't but you know whatever I agree Spider-Man 2 is is definitely like it's interesting game I don't remember being as like I think Spider-Man 3 was very fun I think Spider-Man 2 was interesting I loved the first one like the level-based one where it was where it was like you were kind of like swinging around on the clouds or whatever that was like actually like a genuinely fun game even if it wasn't like truly like you know wasn't physics-based like spider-man goodness in the same way that we have today but that was a fucking solid combat.

It was a solid little beat-em-up. Fighting Shocker and Grand Central Station and, like, dodging the fucking waves. It's fucking dope. Fighting Shock and recalling him. Yeah. Orte goes what you do in that game? I just hope someday, yeah. Hope someday that everything, all these classics will be available on the, like, PlayStation

platforms, Xbox platforms, or whatever. And you just don't have to go out of your way to emulate them because that just, I don't know. It just annoys. The emulation, so, yeah. It's not fun. It just feels bad because I don't like, they hear us all complaining and asking for these games.

Like everything, they hear us, you know? Yeah. I want to be able to play Pokemon games on my Switch. Just to be able to do it. Why can't I? Like,

why? It's probably, I would say that's the most insane out of all of that shit. Like, why not? The Game Boy Advance has arguably the best game catalog of all time. Arguably, it's between that.

and the PS2. Just give me the ability to play the PS2, the Game Boy Vance games on my Switch. I don't want to do a monthly service. I'll pay you the $40 per game. I'll pay you $3. I'll pay you what the, what was the,

what was like, $40? Right? On the front of release? I think so, yeah. $40, $30, $40. That sounds right. It sounds right.

And then I feel like DS games were $50. It's just weird when you're willing to, there's so many people that are willing to like, please take my money. and they're like, I'll buy them. I will pay for those games. I will play for Mega Man

Blue Moon and Red Sun. I'll pay for the Game Boy Advance Mega Man games. Yeah, I'll pay for Metro. Premium Game Boy, premium Game Boy advanced games were 40, a bunch of titles were 20 and most games were hovered around 30.

I'll pay it. I don't give a fuck. I'll give you, and that's worth more now. Thank you's inflation. I'll pay it though. I'll give it to you. I'll give you $45 for the games I want.

I'll do it. I'll buy a bundle. It's worth less, actually. It's a shame. I'll buy a bundle for $150 for three, for a coupon for four games. I'll do it. That's a sad reality.

That's a sad kind of reality about like what the games industry kind of is right now, where people are complaint. I understand people who complain about it in the same way where it's like, oh, this game's $70? What the fuck? I'm not going to pay $70. It's like, dude, you do not. understand how little $70 is worth

like today compared to how much money they're spending on games to make like games realistically if they kept up with inflation video like a good video game would probably actually I'm not even exaggerating probably it would cost like $140 probably like actually like genuinely it's crazy and that's why you're seeing a lot of micro transactions

and all this fucking all this nickel and diming and like those premium versions of games that like or like hey pay fucking $100 for early access for this game. You know what I mean? Or like, hey, here's a special edition version for like 150. That's recouping the fucking cost of what the game should be. It's like, that sucks.

And I don't want to pay that much for games. But at the same time, it's like, that is the reason why we're getting like, hey, here's a $70 unfinished game with like $20 pieces of DLC and like $20 skins like attached to it. And that's a genie that's like out of the bottle. It's not going back. So even if you did manage to somehow get like, oh, okay. Even if we all unanimously agreed, okay, we're going to spend like $100,000.

$140 on premium games. Those micro transactions are still going to be there because they'd be stupid not to put them in. So it's over. Yeah, it's over totally. Yeah. The fact that people... And it's call a duty's fault. Piss me off.

And it's called it's not called it's fault. It's not called duty's fault. It's not even close. They started it. They made it big. No, I don't think so. I think honestly, honestly, what started really was probably MMOs. When people started really, when people started understanding that people would pay subscription services,

When people realize that you could, oh, we could get people to pay monthly to play the game. Because, dude, I remember being young. I remember being like 13 and seeing like, oh, a World of Warcraft subscription was like whatever, whatever amount of money. It was $30 a month. And I was like, why the fuck would I ever do that? That is insane. I remember thinking that was absolutely fucking lunacy. and now it's the model for everything now.

How much is how a month to play now? I have no idea. I just know because I played a while back in the day. You know most people who play games that play on consoles or PCs, including myself, we're unaware of the whole the gotcha community and all of those games. $13 a month, by the way. $13 a month for World Warcraft.

That's about $3 back then. Yeah. Yeah. But it's one of those things. It's one of those things that that was, because those are literally micro transactions, those games. You know, they call them gasha or pay to win and people know them as. Yeah. And those were the things that they, that's why you see a lot of games that were never even like that at all.

All of a sudden adopt some of those type of things because they're just kind of implementing the same things. That's where a Mortal Kombat you were seeing these things, like a Mortal Kombat 11, like what the fuck is this stuff? Yeah. And so it's and it's and it's and it works so well because I mean here's here's example. My first one was Raid, Shadow Legends. That was my first introduction. It kind of reminded me.

Do you remember when Ethan Klein had a video game just like ball run or something like that? Oh yeah, yeah. There are people looking at the packs and one of the packs was a hundred bucks and people were just fucking outrage. They're like, what the fuck is this shit? But in the community, in the gasha community, that is. so fucking normal that like people don't know this stuff

so when I started like playing raid and started seeing what type of shit people were spending I'm talking tens of thousands of dollars a year and I'm just like I cannot fucking believe people who spend this on a video game Diablo 4 comes out and they follow the same fucking thing sorry

not Diablo 4 if Diablo Immortal and one of the guys was watching is like oh so if you want to fully max out your character like fully fully fully let me run you about $100,000 and there's people paying that money. They were paying the money. And so...

Where do you get that money from? These people... There's these crazy-ass people that are so fucking rich, man. Called the whales, man. And the whales and the hundred... When you get to that level, they're called crackens. These motherfuckins are crackens.

They're called crackens at that level. They call them crackens. Whales are the people that probably spend tens of thousands a year. The ones that are probably like, say, closer to the six-figure region, but those people exist because I still play raid. I still play and I can't keep up

I just play casually but if you want to compete you got to spend ass fucking you got to spend thousands of dollars probably every couple months if you want to actually compete and I'm like people are actually doing this. They're doing it and so the gaming industry

regular ones are like hey we want some of their money it's like why would you be stupid you would really be stupid not to do it like why would you not do that? Culture happened as well Lubbox culture fucking destroyed

Almost broke That was worse Yeah like that was worse to me Like that's insane I like I like Look boxes But I understand what they were That's crazy

Well no because I played card game Because I played card games Right right It's all gambling It's all gambling Yeah yeah That's what it was That's why I like

Loubockes But I understand what they were Pay for a chance at getting nothing Fucking insanity At least now At least now you get In card games Right for boxes

When you buy a box of cards There is a sword. You're going to get a secret rare. You're going to get two secret rairs and you're going to get at least one alt-art, right? That is assured. For loop boxes, there's no assured shit at all. So you spend your money on that? Well, I would say the biggest difference is you get physical media when you buy cards at least.

I just feel like I have something. This is tangible. And then that online shit is nothing. There's nothing. There's no assured anything. If you're not definitely. You have nothing. Like you have nothing.

I think about that a lot when I, whenever I play Overwatch and I'm like, yo, if this game just gets shut down for some reason, those hours of me trying to get those Genji skins are just gone. And that makes me so sad. They shut down, dude, 2K

is so fucking greasy that they shut down the servers of the old games to make sure you can only play the newer ones. There's only one server alive right now? So they'll usually have like maybe two. So it'll usually like, so 2K24 is out. So you can play 2K23.

You may not be able to play 22 anymore. That's cool. It's like, like say 2K19 was the last decent one. You can't, I wanted to go back and play the story because it's actually really fun. You can't fucking play it. You can't do it. And I was like, you can't play the story? They will not know.

So they turn the, they connect the story mode to you have to play online. You have to basically That's so skeevy, dude Right I don't do any PVP in 2K games But you still have to connect online So they shut the servers down And you can only play the offline services

Which is just bullshit You can't, it's nothing The whole thing is centered around The story and building up your character and stuff And you can't even fucking do that It is It's the most disgusting dude In the PCs

The PC game doesn't even get The next gen Like what's on the consoles because PC or more savvy they don't spend a lot of money you can just hack the game and fucking like you can build your characters up to 99 but instead of paying $500 to max out

your character you just fucking get around that so they stopped even servicing PC they just give you this shitty fucking PS4 version that has nothing in it no story nor nothing literally no story you pay $60 for like fucking what is worth probably $20

it's the most I can't believe what they get away with It sucks. It's crazy. And people buy those games like wildfire. I want to strangle each and every one of these motherfuckers. Tens of thousands of reviews. I used to love those games too, man.

I used to play mad when I was younger. I used to play 2K. I even played PGA games. I played all those games. Madden is actually worse. Actually worse if you can believe that for what I just said. Madden's way worse. But I played those games and they were fun because that's what that's what being a black

young kid was. And like if you grew up in the fucking hood, you lived there in the hood, you, that's what, like, when I live, once going to go and Poughkeepsie, I would play those games on my homers. I'd go to the house. We'd play, like, Street Fighter 4, then you'd play, like, a few games of Madden, and we'd go outside and do something.

You kind of see, though, but you see the correlation, though. The games that are, a lot of the centered around, like, sports people and a lot of urban communities are, they are just, you know, and, I, because people are, like, what's up? It's because people are religious about their sports. And so, like, they're more willing, they're more willing to, like, put money into, like, it literally is, yeah. It's like, oh, well, I really love football.

It's like my entire personality. I'm going to buy this game and then I'm going to spend money on this game. And then even if the game goes, if the game, like, loses or goes offline for whatever reason, I'll just buy the next one because they come out every fucking year. It's weird to me that they don't just, like, it's weird. It's especially weird to me because I feel like they, of all the games that have become platforms, I feel like sports games makes the most, make the most sense to me. Instead of putting out a new game every year, why not just have like,

here's Madden, and then just update that every year with like new rosters and use that. If the community was savvy, that's exactly what would happen. But since they keep giving them fucking money and paying them like $500 to max out their characters or whatever,

they're doing it. Like there's all these content creators too that fucking they keep it all propped up because they max out all their characters because if you wanted to max out by doing like free to play, it'll probably take you like an entire year and then by the time that happens well the new game's out

so you might as well fucking pay money to maxedary characters. That's why the whole entire AMP cast all of those um Cass and that Duke Dennis and all them that's all they did. They all they're all like, what you call?

Like they play 2K and like they fucking like 2K YouTubers are a big big group like they make same thing with Aiden Ross and stuff like that. That's how he became famous. He played 2K and he ended up playing with LeBron son one time on 2K and then lifestyle took off from marriage wild it's the only and look it to be fair to be fair to the community it's the only option that that that's really the big problem because

if you're a fan of of sports or basketball that is the only option nobody else has license the NBA right now and so that may change actually next year but it's just one of those things where you can't do anything else. And what sucks is that the parts of the game, like the actual gameplay, is actually pretty decent. So that's really all those people care about. You went, look it.

So 2019, just like the story, full-fledged celebrities in it. Good writing. It actually made me laugh and I was invested. And then when you see people like 2K people that actually are in this community and the content creators,

they don't give a fuck about any of that stuff. It was like, remember what everybody was shitting on? I don't play campaign. and I just do fucking multiplayer and I'm like, you're a piece of shit. So they're going to strip this shit out. I remember Titanfall came out and they're like, campaign what? Y'all are just going to play multiplayer anyway.

And I'm like, you're fucking, it's because of you guys. You say you're not going to play their fucking campaign. You're not even going to try it. You don't give a fuck. So, let's make apex. I don't want to watch these fucking cutscenes. I just want to fucking just play ball. And I'm like, okay, yeah, so now you're going to have fucking half the game and pay even more, though.

Fuck you. Whatever. Whatever. I have a friend who works for the companies that I have a friend that worked for fucking what to call it for whoever made it as long as riot. Who makes Apex? I don't know. I said right. I can be right.

Apex is respawn. Yeah. I have a friend that works for respawn. She was like, you're never seen Titan fall three. That game will never exist. If Apex stops doing good, it will exist. And I was like, are you saying just like, dude, never. Like we're, it's not even brought up.

It's not even. one's even talking about it. They're just like, oh, no, Apex is doing great. We'll do that. And I'm like, really? They're like, yeah, there's, it's, it's, I mean, I get it. If Anthem did well, right? If Anthem actually did what they wanted it to do,

you know, for a fact, no legendary edition, no new Mass Effect game, Dreadful, dread wolf would probably be shelved for fucking ever. Probably when it came out. We'd be hearing, we'd be hearing about Dreadwolf this year, probably. He would have first heard about it this year.

Maybe. We're thinking about it. We're thinking about making another game. I mean... I mean... They didn't delay general for another two years, so we forget about Baldr's Gate. Because that game's going to suffer because of Baldur's Gate 3, 100%. The thing that really makes me sad about a lot of this stuff is just like how...

Like, look, it's not like money was never... Money's obviously always the primary motivating factor for a business. It has been like that forever. And it was like that when we were kids as well. So it's not to say that it's it's not to say that something is happening now that's different, but I do think it's at like a fever pitch now in a way that it didn't used to be because so much money goes into making games now that it's like there's too much money in it to not do what works. I don't know what I mean? I think it's the same way it goes to music where like do you make music to because you're.

love it and because it can help you get money. You do both. Right now, the love and the money are completely out of whack. It used to be like a balance before. Now it's not. That's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying. It's a lot more about like, well, we can make money doing this so let's do it. It would be dumb of us not to do it as opposed to like, hey, it would take a lot of effort to make this thing, but we think it's cool and it could make money. Yeah. You know what I mean? Let's put it to this way.

If the developers, the people who actually, the game developers, if they owned all the shares, shit would be very different. Yeah, oh yeah, 100%. So it's like,

yeah, if the game developers owned all the shares, we would get banger. This year would be this another year in the historical logs of like banger games coming out. We would just have, it would be, we would probably like video games left of the community

because of how many good games. like everything's just like actually polished and up to, yeah. It would be like, because we'd be like, you'd be like, you'd be like, you're still playing a game that came on 2017 because they're still making content for it and it's fucking so cool.

Yeah, I understand that people get like kind of annoyed when, when, I don't know, politics are brought up or like when people complain about capitalism or whatever, but like I, part of me does really long for a time when like,

wouldn't it be nice if every piece of media that you consumed was created? was created because people cared to make it and not because people understood that it would make a lot of money. You know what I mean? I feel like I've seen this happen a lot with YouTube and like content creation over the years

where it's like, dude, there was something that I tweeted recently where some dude, it's like, here's my TikTok method. And it's him screen recording somebody's video and then screen recording gameplay and then just putting them on top of each other and then using auto-generated captions and then he showed his wallet or whatever.

And he said like, hey, look, I made $1,200 from that video. Isn't that cool? and it's like that simply wouldn't happen if there, A, wasn't so much money in this and B, the only way to make money from something like this was if you actually gave a shit. And I think that attitude extends beyond just YouTube and content creation.

I think it extends to games. I think it extends to music. Media period. Music, I think, is probably the least affected by it because that industry came crumbling down like 20 years ago. So, like, I feel like there's actually a genuine I feel like music's almost

enoculated from that in some way because it's been so it's been dire in the music industry for such a fucking long time it's dire but not but it's the way it was when before it were born it was dire but like it's not like that anymore

artists are so rich no no no no it was wait wait you have it backwards you have it way backwards you have it way backwards it was it was peak before we were born really you would say back then because the whole entire streaming areas was destroyed music, right?

Right. Entire streaming areas were destroyed music, right? Yes, so after us. And that's like early Napster. Yes, that's after we were born. But like I feel like, because I feel like artists are still so rich now still. Like still. Like people like Taylor Swift, all she does is music and like maybe merchandise.

And that girl is like one of the richest women on the planet. Yeah, but Taylor Swift also had to remaster her entire discography because she wasn't seeing because she didn't make money off of her own. Most of these people make money off of merchandise. But then she's still rich. She's still a billionaire, which is insane. No, she, but she is not. Well, she's billionaire now.

She is, she is call of duty. Not every game is call of duty. Right. Exactly. Exactly that. There's always the exception of the person who's like, oh, that's an example of how things used to be still. Even, even though, like, dude, if things used to, if she was as famous as she was, if she was as famous today as she was in the 80s, she would be making way, like an incomprehensibly large. I'm out of money. Think about this.

I just saw somebody do a post, just real quick. They were talking because everybody was sharing their Spotify rapped. By the way, guys, people that are listening, thanks. It's so cool. I love when this happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It makes me feel really uncomfortable.

Tag us. It, to me, it just feels like, well, like, we're... It's flattering, though. Yeah, we're doing something, you know, we're doing something that we truly enjoy, and then in a turn, these people enjoy it. So it's like, this is a great symbiotic relationship or whatever. It's pretty fucking great.

Love it. So yeah, thanks. And on the downside, some people, artists were sharing their numbers. And this one guy who was in a band was like, oh, we got like 100 million something plus streams. And between all of us, you know, we're splitting it. I got $1,500 from all that. And I'm just like, hearing that makes me, I'm like, it makes me, I'm like, are you, so you can get like, like 100 million streams like what would that actually quantify as far as like sales like back then

if there wasn't streaming let's just say it's not going to be 100 million but we can just bring it down to even like let's just say that's i don't know a million fucking buys that's a shitload of money you know for 10 bucks or whatever it's it's so different they steal so much of what could be it is so insane right now that yeah you have to be a taylor swift to really see some fucking money from these streaming numbers so hopefully you have some you'd have some bomb-ass merchant To me that's basically Me I've been

You know Dipping my toes Into the music industry I'm probably gonna start like a new project And everything And I'm just like well let me just come hard With merch because Making money through streaming is so fucking difficult

But but that's kind of what I mean It's like it's so difficult to make money off of streaming That the people who are making music Are people who really Care to do it You know what I mean? I'm like I'm like I? I rarely get recommended new music to me

that isn't really fucking cool or interesting. Or even if something's not my favorite thing, it's not like stolen gameplay over a stolen video with like AI generated captions. Because there's so much money in it. You know what I mean? That's very true. So part of me feels like everything needs to fucking crash and burn

in order for things to get back to like a reasonable quality level. Because I've heard a lot of great shit musically over the last like year from artists that I've I had no hope of finding before purely because you're not really you're not really seeing a lot of people get into it for the money because there's so little money in it at least from the get-go so we did the rap thing right the Spotify rap thing and we were looking at me and we were looking at like our um our music thing so I listened to I was about like maybe like I think like 75,000 minutes of music of music series which is I don't know people some people say it's I don't really feel attention to that.

But I know 1% of my favorite artist, I made up 1% of his listening like all throughout the year. And I'm like, Jesus Christ, that's so much. And then me and Lily together made up 2% of it. Because we both listened to one artist. We listen to K Trinada so much in the house. Also shout out the new band called,

not new band, or old band called Jungle. Really good year for them. went from like averaging like 65,000 streams to over 90 million because of how popular they got behind of TikTok. But it's insane. I love when that happens. But amazing.

They've made the best album this year without a doubt. 100% no doubt about it. I think their number one album this year. I really hope they're conditionally deserve at the Grammys. They're probably not going to because they're probably going to give it to Harry Stiles or Taylor Swift or it's one of the people they are automatically usually give you that that too. But I really, really hope they have a great year at the awards.

wise. Yeah. Dude, TikTok is, I can't stand it, but Jesus, man, every time when you hear about somebody having an astronomic, like, or meteoric rise like that, it's, it's TikTok. What was that fucking comedian? We're just talking about Matt Rife. Matt Rife, yep. Fucking some other, another comedian that, uh, this big black dude, I can't remember his name right now, but he's blown up. Cam Patterson did really good there too. Like, there's so many people. another black guy. The fat black guy

forgot his name, the heavyset one. Yeah, I think we're talking about the same guy. I think we're talking about the same guy. Another huge year because of TikTok as well.

Yeah, like something that's something that's really catching my attention and it catches my attention every year. And I always say I'm going to do something about it,

but I never do. And I think I should probably just do it. Because I, I don't know, man, I haven't put out new music in a really,

really long time. Yep. Like in probably a long time. Like I haven't posted anything to Spotify and ages. But, there's an app called Spotify for artists where you can kind of see like what your

stats are and my stats like are so fucking weirdly like they're not like astronomical but they're higher than they should be considering I don't release it regularly at all. Dude you have. So I feel like I should I should probably just do this at this point.

Yes dude you are so so you are considered I think to most people that watch or listen to or whatever, you're considered as a musician first. That's why you still have these high numbers because people are listening to your stuff. And like, just as a testament to the two collabs that we did, they got, I think each song right now, for my page is pretty big. So that Tara Times has been out for like, what, like a month or something?

and that has like 5,000, close to 6,000 streams, which is a lot. It usually takes me like a few months to even if something actually is pretty decent to get there at all. And so, like, there's people that are still looking out for you. Like, they're still searching for a Chris Raygun project. And, I mean, shit, how many fucking times has, how many times has Jonathan Young been like, hey, let me fucking produce a album for you? He harassed me for years. He's like, please do something.

I'll mix. I'll help you. And I'm like, yeah. You posted that thing on TikTok of us, our collab. And then there he was again. I think he posted under there. And I was like, this dude really wants to fucking, I mean, he obviously, yeah. He's here too.

I should, I don't know. Like, I know he's in LA now. That's why. He really, really, really, really, really loves music. And he loves music. Yeah, I got to. helping people make music and creating music. Like, he just loves it.

So all you have to do is just give him a chance to make music for you. And he'll be like, let's go. I want to do this. I know, yeah. Why haven't you at least done a song? Like, why haven't you like? I don't know. I think there's a level of it that I haven't done it in so long, like seriously,

that I feel like, I guess, a little insecure about my ability to do it again. Because I feel like so out of practice. There's also just, like, musically. like I kind of know what I'm doing, but I'm largely like playing it by ear, and that feels kind of like shitty. Like, I feel like I should know what I'm doing. And so like, ah, I should probably like look into music theory, like really. And I don't know. And there's also just like the elements of like mixing stuff.

And I know that that's what John would handle theoretically if I were to hand it off to anybody. But I do kind of like, I do want to know how to do it. I'm just so bad at figuring that shit out. It's annoying. I want to know I can do something. The way I feel about it is like, I want to know that I can do something. That way, if I hand it off to somebody, I at least know that, like, I'm not atrophying in some way. Or like, oh, because I know people who used to edit a lot and who handed their project, who handed their stuff off to editors.

And then they stopped editing for years. And then, like, when their editors left or like when they were just like, hey, I got a, I got a bigger opportunity elsewhere, they have to edit themselves again or they have to hire again. And it's like a whole thing because they literally can't do it anymore. you know what I mean so like I want to know how to do it that way like if I can hand if I should hand it off to somebody I could still I'm not like at the

I'm not beholden necessarily like I don't I'm not reliant but he can teach you how to edit to do it though I get it it's not gonna not teach I know I know the problem I don't know problem with mixing is it there's so many fucking parts to it I was actually just looking at new plugins today today and when I was looking at so there's a there's a website where you can get a bunch of free

plugins. It's just called like something like free plugins.com. I forgot what it. People just make free shit and you can donate to them. And there are so many of them that I have no fucking idea. Like you read the description to even know what the hell even this is. And I'm looking at there's so much that I don't even do with my own music, my own projects. Mine's very basic. Like just mix it, right? Just try to, okay, cool, cool, cool. Then I just fucking. I just fucking, I, I run it through this little mastering bus that just kind of like, all right, kind of glues everything together, levels things to where I kind of want it to be cool. A little bit of EQ. I'm done.

It's just one of those things. Now, it's a little more complicated than that, but I'm just like, you know, general stuff. It's just like there is so many other things that I'm not doing or sometimes I'll look at tutorials of what other people do. And they'll have multiple compressors for this one thing. They'll have this and I'm like, bro, fuck all of this. This is too much. Right. And people are bringing it, man.

Some people that they really enjoy mixing. I don't really enjoy it. I like laying down the tracks. That's fun for me. But when it gets down to it, my fucking eye starts twitching when I'm like really have a large project. Like punk is great. Dude, that song we did or what we did,

the two things that we did Chris recently, fantastic. So much fun. Yeah, because there was. nothing to it. Like when I'm doing metal and shit, it's the worst fucking thing ever. So, yeah, anyway. But tell you what.

I understand to me about that, Chris, 100% because before, like, I learned how to edit on my own, like do audio and video editing my own. People like, yeah, I'll just record something and I'll do it for you. And I'm like, I want to know how to do this so I can explain to somebody what I want them to do for me, you know?

Like, that was my reason for not just giving people all of my shit to do. Because I was like, I want to know how to edit on my own. At least now I under, I understand. I'm not good at it, but I understand how to edit now, at least. It helps to have an understanding of like just having. Like if I wanted somebody to change something from me and print, like, if someone's somebody to change somebody in Premiere, I'd be like, hey, can you, can you focus on this?

I want you to add this effect over here. And then I want you to turn that down over there. I know how to do it now. Yeah. The big thing for me is like, dude, I've never experienced this before or maybe I have it. It's been so long that I don't remember it. But like my MacBook that I used to do all my music stuff on is just like, I remember I was like, okay, I'm going to get serious about this stuff.

I'm going to download. I don't remember if it was logic or Pro Tools or whatever the fuck. I don't remember what the fuck it was. But I was like, I'm going to go download this thing. And then it said, your computer's too old to do this. And I'm like, no, it's not. There's no fucking way. And then it said, like, dude, I can't even open Discord on my MacBook because it says

your MacBook can't handle it. And it's like, that does not make sense. I bought my MacBook in like 2018, I think, which is old, sure, but like, it's not that old. Surely it can run Discord. Like, are you kidding? That's insane. So, like, part of it, too, is just, like, not really, like, man, I don't even know if I can really even run the fucking hardware to, or the software to even start doing this seriously.

Because all I have, my PC is up to date. But I don't, but I've heard, I've heard that the Mac versions, like, are way better for music or something. I completely disagree with that. I think it's just preference. Yeah, I really think it's just preference. I feel like Macs make it easier to do audio software stuff. I've always I've always I've I've always I've always I've always ran everything on PC Uh so like I what do you use to what do you use as like a

Uh so right now I'm being. Yeah yeah DA. So right now I'm being cheap. Uh, Reaper is, uh, technically free. Now they it's kind of like an honor system thing. They let you, I've been trying it for years now. And the only thing they won't let you do is like I think you can record up to like 10 minutes or something. as far as a project.

So if you're doing songs, usually your songs are gonna go longer. My longest song's been like five minutes of change. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, all it does is prompts you like, hey, it's not free. It's 60 bucks for a license. And I'm like, if I make money,

if one song goes really fucking viral and I make some money, I'm gonna pay them. Because then I'll be like, thank you, Reaper. But so this is cool. So there's a lot of like, say, I think Jonathan Young, you know, maybe you want to use what he uses

because I think, I think it was like 200 bucks and it comes with a ton of plugins. I think he said he uses logic, if I remember correctly. However, Reaper is great for me. Like, I'm, since I'm not some master, Reaper's fantastic, comes with a lot of plugins, like the RIA. It has a bunch of EQ's compressors, a bunch of stuff. And then I just added a bunch of shit that I've accumulated over the years. And then I do a little bit of work because actually, Audacity, because, you know, it's open source.

they're getting to a point where they're actually kind of viable to be like you could just use them straight up as a DAW where they even have the BPMs. Now they have all the copy paste things that you normally do in a regular DAW but in the latest one, if you upgrade to the latest one that they did 3.4 something. But anyway, long story short, I bounce between Reaper and Audacity depending on what I'm doing

and it works for me. But if I wanted to get serious, I would have to probably completely abandon Audacity. all together, get more serious with it, but I don't want to get to that level. I really want to just be, I want to work with somebody who has this, like, one of my, a band that I really have started to love recently is called Periphery, and their basis. He's the mastermind that, like, he knows all of this stuff. And so I'm like, I want to work with somebody who has that type of knowledge, who records all this shit.

He's a brilliant musician. I think Lyle knows him. Well, oh. I was really good with that shit. Oh, yeah, he knows Misha, right? Yeah. He knows Misha Mansour, yeah, that he has the guitars. Yeah, yeah, dude.

I, but yeah, like, that type of shit, like working with people like that that know all the ins and outs of all this stuff. Yeah, I've watched some of actually Misha's tutorials of, but yeah, long story short. Lyle and Matt. Or Dave. Matt, Matt, yeah, yeah, there you go. Dave, Dave. Dave, Dave, Pornoy? Dave, Pornoy?

Dave, Dave, uh, signite in happiness, Dave. That's so funny. Yeah, wow, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I guess I think I, I never tried Reaper. I think I, or I think I tried it, but like it was on my MacBook and it was running all fucked up. So maybe I just got to try it on my PC. Reaper's, yeah, it would be very easy.

So many people were telling me that like, dude, you got to, what's the one that's on Mac exclusively? Is it logic or Pro Tools? Pro Tools was the Mac thing. Yeah. So many people were telling me is like, you got to use Pro Tools if you're serious. I'm like, okay. But like my MacBook doesn't run it. So like I would have to go buy a new MacBook, which I would have to go buy a new MacBook,

which are so fucking expensive. And then Pro Tools on top of it. I was just like, I don't know. That's so much money to drop. So I was just like, no, whatever. And so I put it off for a long time because I just thought that was like the only way that I was going to get anything really done. But I mean, if Reapers is a solid DAW then. It is.

And the thing is, I think the reason why people would use Pro Tools so often, first of all, the promotion. Obviously, you throw money. You want everybody to get that shit, that software and stuff. But since everybody. was using it was easier to share projects. So it's like just, you can just, here, give somebody a project and import it into their Pro Tools, which is something that. It's like Adobe then.

Right, exactly. So it's literally that. Yeah, it's that. So that would be a reason me you would want Pro Tools. But that is industry standard. Like you said, I think, uh, fucking Jonathan uses, um, um, logic or if I remember correctly. And so it doesn't matter.

People aren't really sharing projects anymore. They usually share stems. So you just bounce out your, um, fucking tracks into your stems and you send that to them and you can import that into anything. And, but anyway, last thing I just want to say on this is that I would say in the meantime, we've done a couple of things. So just to keep to get you out of this rusty stage, I'll keep throwing things your way to kind of like, just to challenge you to kind of get out.

Yeah. And then you can get into your, now you're like, oh, yeah, I'm going to do my own thing now. I'm a fucking, I'm a finally, I'm a finally, uh, contact Jonathan. Yeah, I'll, I'll, I'll get around to it. Yeah, cool. For sure. I definitely, I definitely have been itching to just do something in that way. I bought a bass guitar specifically this year just so I could like fool around with it.

I've been fooling around with it still, but it's, it's, it's, I've been fooling around within garage band and garage band is not really, you know, it's, it's, garage band is not particularly, uh, amazing. Yeah. Very, yeah, very entry level. Yeah, yeah, my bones. My bones. I'm going to help me my bold.

All right, let's see. Let's get one more. Let's help me my bold. My bold, my bold. I don't, what is that? My big old little bolts. My big little balls. Is that your latest single?

My big little bulge. My bold. Watch out for my big little balls. Uh, yeah. Okay, I think, man. All right, let's, let's end with this one. It's a simple one. Like, I read through all.

All the questions. Oh, yeah, let's go with this one. Bloodsar wrote in. He says, Mike Ock Small, Mike Hawk, and Mike Hunt. What's... Very cool. What's an embarrassing, common thing you learned at an awkwardly old age? For me, it was finding out they were saying wind chill instead of windshield for temperatures,

because I thought they cared about cars thermostats for some reason. Anyway, stay safe. That's fucking crazy. What is something embarrassing that I? learned at an old age I didn't know about I think the only one that comes to mind

immediately at the same time there's I'm sure there's many examples but like I don't remember most of them because like most of them just like oh interesting

okay I've been saying that wrong I'm really quick to kind of you know just be like oh okay I'm not gonna fight it you know what I mean but there was one time and I think I brought it up on the podcast before

I know I brought it up on sacred symbols but maybe not here where for some reason I made it until age like 25 or 26 thinking that New Zealand was like by Greenland or something.

Oh, that's interesting. I don't know why I thought that. I have no reason. I think what happened was like I... Pretty wrong. It's a pretty wrong. It is very wrong. It is so wrong.

It is so wrong. You didn't know about Oceania? You didn't know about Oceanica at all? Oceanica. I don't even know what the fuck you're saying. That's over that area of the world. That like, like... Oh, is that what it's called? Yeah, like, that's Oceanica.

Yeah, no, I don't know what the fuck I thought. Do you mean Oceanana? Do you mean Oceanana? All right, got you. Put it wrong. Wow. This is, there you go. That's his. That's his. That might be. That might be it. But no, I can't remember what the fuck it was.

I think like, I saw a movie where like the Kiwi accent was in it. And I, for some reason, either made the assumption that it was by Greenland or someone told me that who was older than me who I trusted for no reason and I just didn't think to question it because why would someone lie about that? Such a weird thing to lie about. And I remember, I don't know if it was like, it was a Taika Waititi thing. I know because it was that that was the whole reason that it was subject of conversation where I was talking to somebody and I said the stupidest fucking thing or I was like, it's kind of crazy how close the New Zealand acts. is to the Australian accent, even though they're so far away. And the person that I was talking to was like, what? I think it was lazy. I think I told it too lazy, which was already embarrassing because she was already so much smarter than me as it was.

So I said that to her and she was like, what do you mean? And I was like, they're really like far away, right? Isn't it like by like Ireland and shit? And she was like, uh-oh. And she was like, uh-oh. And she was like, no. She was like, oh, this dude's retarded. The hat with the propeller on it.

Yeah, she gave me a little propeller hat on. There you go. Oh, I'm dating a dunce. It might not have been lazy. I really don't remember who the fuck. I really don't remember who the fuck it was, but like it, what, I remember just feeling like such a fucking idiot because I just believed this because some adult told me it. And why would they lie?

Like, what kind of, unless they just were wrong also and passed on that misinformation to like a young kid who never bothered to ask questions. Because we don't really study, like, we study the world in America in public schools, but not really to like the degree that we really should. We have like a cursory, a cursory like overview of like world history and like world geography. And New Zealand is so fucking small that I just don't think I ever thought to even notice it on a map. And so I just assumed like, yeah, it's by Greenland or fucking whatever. Who cares? Yeah, it's pretty wild.

It's like Nantuck. You know what I mean? It's like, you know where Nantucket is? Yeah, it's in Rhode Island, right? Yeah, but it's weird that it's there. It's weird that there's just this little island that's like famously known that's just off the coast of Rhode Island that is like imperceptible from space. Like you can't see it. Do you know the little rhyme of Nantucket?

There was an old man from Nantucket. He brought out a baby and fucked it. A big bucket. That he went to prison. Raw fucked it. that's not it that works that works

that's a that's a limerick though isn't it yeah yeah it was a nigga from nantucket bought out a baby and butt fucked it

and I don't know why you ruined the syllable count of that for no reason did I really ruin it that bad you did

you fuck the syllables entirely damn it's like that guy fucked that baby and man tuck you know do you know

do you know the real one though Do you know how to finish it? I don't know the real one actually. Yeah. You know what? I don't even know if this is actually real, but this is what I, apparently, because it's like, oh, you're not supposed to. No one ever finishes it because it's like the next part is, oh, I don't say it's too explicit. So apparently I learned, and it could be one of those things, could be wrong.

But whose dick is so long he could suck it. That is the next part. Or once was the man from that's awesome. Whose dick was so long he could suck it. And I'm like, that's pretty impressive. that's that's pretty nuts if I if I didn't have my big gut suck my pee pee man I would fucking

never leave home if I didn't have my big gut I'd suck my pee pee shut my p p let's let's go on to the fucking yeah the fuck are you talking about Derek I would let's get the fuck out of here the fuck are you on right now hey man I need you to come

pick up for a weird episode I got okay so oh so this is going in we are recording this on the first of December we wrapped up the November questions today. There were a lot of questions this week. If you, like an insane number. So if you didn't get picked, we apologize, don't worry. We, you know, we're trying to get to everybody that makes sense. So remember, just, you know,

be pithy with your, your questions. Be short, succinct. And we're, I, remember, I have a bias towards people who haven't had their names read on the show before. So if I really specifically We try not to play favorites in that regard. So keep that in mind when you're leaving questions. But thank you for listening today. Come on over to patreon.com slash the snark tank and get all the beauty over there. We're going to do some...

We're going to do a Gears of War extra ammo very, very soon. That will be fun, I think. So stay tuned for that. And let's move on to the fucking credits, I guess. All right. Ready? Ready? I'm ready.

Three, two, one, okay. Adam Jama. The totally real Manhattan circus tent. Matt Walsh looks like the red guy from Monsters Inc. After his face gets sucked off by the machine. Heath Smoker. Daddy Lars, Uncle Ruckus of the Goon Squad. Frosty, the gay man was a very homo soul with a corn cobb plug and a button dick and two balls made of coal.

Metal Gay Solid 3. Spirm eater featuring solid cock. I did everything right and they indicted me, Walter. Roush V's big booty fantasies. Welcome to the Cream Kingdom, bitch. Open up. Homeless Transfem who gave her last dollar to the story. Snark Tank.

Alexander the gay and the frozen corpse of JFK. Sheltering Yoohoo drinkers under the floorboards. Sucking down a crisp diet cock. I mean diet cock. I mean diet cock. I mean diet cock. Gay tool the cock. Who are you to suck my penis?

You must be A.F. I don't know what that means. Throw your cum in the air. Spray it like you just don't care. If you like dick and balls in that gay shit everybody. Mitch, I'm a feel you. You're going to slurp up. up on my peen. That bed won't ever stop squeak in. I'm a squash them cheeks by Seaman M.

IDF cum extraction team starring Ryan Gosling. Stop with the Britain slander. It hurts all, it's, it sucks, it already sucks here. Listening to Sweeney makes me consider racism. The PVEE Titans have no real purpose in raids due to lacking DPS and support options. Baller of the first sin. There goes my homo, watch them as she blows. Two episodes remaining. Be afraid. No silly names for now. Please share and donate to the GoFundMe in the Stark Tank Discord, hunting channel. J to the jizzot, G to the G to the Glezy. Fuzzle, the jizzle always drizzled down my physes.

And that's the anthem. Get your damn pants off. Johnny Silvercock. Johnny Silvercock, my girlfriend uses my foreskin like a sleeping bag. XX Elmo found dead in New York City apartment, XX. It's something undetectable, but in the end it's gay. I hope you had the femme boy of your life. It's fucking horrible.

Hunter Dubois, big hair, small brain. Geez, Rick, I'm squirting. You should get a glass or something. Sweeney lick my weenie. Bro, same. The everlasting gaze. Back to Tank of Cumb. Caucasian Container the Cracker Bell for Gays.

Transstar penis lady. Do Christian girl squirt Holy Water. Matthew Perry's last fart bubble. She pipkin on my Pippa. Chris's Toyota Corolla moaning like an anime girl every time he inserts his keys into the ignition. Average clit energy. I'll kill myself faster than Jesus died.

What is this three days bullshit? Wham, I'm a little bitch. Just the hard R. Star Coffee on Twitch, bitch. She Shizno on my doohickey till I abe. Oh, she's Shinso on my doohickey till I abe. Smothered to death by Sidney's Tits. Been blowing lots of guys living in a gay man's paradise,

taking dongs of every size living in a gay man's paradise. Transfem. Yeah, Transfem gremlin. Yush. Not Vin Penn, the Angelic DM. So here I am. Blowing every man. I can.

I'm fucking every man pretending I'm a homo man. My sex name is Marcus Penex and Dom Sada Miyago. I love that. It's so good. It's so fucking good.

Craig the Canadian Snark Tank has two modes, funny mode and racist mode. Racist mode is default. I think it's gay mode is the other one to be fair. Yeah. It's gay mode and racist mode. No funny mode

to be seen. It's never funny. It's your boy, Shawnee D. Little Big, Little Dick, Big Nuts. Daily Wire presents Matt Walsh's What Is a Black. Oh, that's what we forgot to talk about. The Matt Walsh thing. Ben and Jerry's Funky Monkey, proud owner of a 12-gauge silly straw,

take me down to the gay pride, to Gay Pride City where the shongs are big and the jizz is creamy. Whoa, awesome. Oh, you won't escape my hole. Oh, won't you please take my load? Glug glug. Oh, nice glug glug. Someday, I got to get my ass finger blasted by a ginger in a My Chemical Romance hoodie with the little thumbholes cutting the sleeve.

3XO and the Japanese skin professor whose suitcase of Yakuza hides was stolen in Chicago. Slurping, stroke and smoke and joking. Emotikon's going like this. Morning Allot. Keep David. Homeless drip, M.H. Lord of Homeless drip. zombie by the cranberries.

Please give me head. Give me head. I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay. That's great. Big pussy's death scene in the Sopranos,

except they all slowly pull out their dicks and busts on his face. Obie won't you blow me. Kremlin to Gremlin. Kingston, your microphone is off. Sweeney's left nut. Gay piece. Fucking police. Coming hard as I thrust and pound.

Abby. Avi. I am going to kill the other non-binary listener. Wage slave 583. a sad guy from Michigan. It's G, not J.U. Invalid. Hope you get a stray, greasy Italian pub stuck between your teeth. Pippini Brothers Emporium of realistic camy and chunley thigh-shaped neck pillows,

self-tightening sold separately. Donkerson, that level five, yatt-bussy got me gooped up for real. For real, no cap on God. Damn. You got to pay the trolls told to get in the boys' hole. Gade 6. That $50 mouth of yours is right in checks.

Those $2 hands can't cash, son. take one more step I'll knock you back 10 I sucked myself off today I sucked myself today just to see how it would feel oh oh I sucked myself today to see just just to see how it would feel tried to bust it now I'm gay come is my only meal

syllables need work but yeah Mike Irman Trout would voice would you kindly stretch my tight pussy Michael Jackson tried to buy the rights to Spider-Man so he could play Peter Parker

Big Scream Boy A mean lesbian Super Cunty Fessler Fist Dick Ex-Bunk Alley-Duchess Nice Gumball's voice actor Calling Dream the F-sler

John Strickland Yeah Oh well Oh yeah that whole weird thing Yeah What the fact is That is crazy that that happened F-and-F word

I do love that guy. Since this were a little bit early and we did forget to mention this, it is crazy to me that Dream caught, recorded this guy on video. This guy is dropping so many slurs, being so offensive, being a dick to service people too by being mean to that Uber driver or like being like annoying. And he's still like, how do you record somebody doing that and still? come across. As the worst person.

As the, as the, you know, the loser in that situation. Well, he got a kid drunk. He held on to the footage to use his blackmail.

Yeah. He just sucks. Dream just sucks. He definitely sucks. Dream is an absolute. It's so funny though. The kids have having an episode, Loki,

he's drunk, he's having an episode. Anyone can see that. And it's like, I'm going to hold on to this. So when I need to blackmail you because I'm a shitty person, I have it.

And everybody's like, it's fine. It's fine. Everybody's like, it's fine. Call him that word. Yeah, he has one. Fuck Dream. Dream looks like if Rumpel Stiltskin fucked Shane Dawson's cat.

And just, like, everything, like he, he sucks, man. I love that photo. I love that photo of him

that I sent to you guys of his face not making sense. The side profile where he's just like, just fucked up. Like, he's so fucked up. It's crazy. Like,

someone tried to extend his face. and fucked up and then tried again and fucked up again. He looks like someone took and kicked him in the face. It looks like it looks like someone turned, it looks like someone turned a hillside on its side. Like I don't understand the makeup of his head. Like it makes no fucking sense, but I'm glad that it does bring me some level of joy to know that he's just so universally hateable. Oh man, that was fucking hilarious. And then it was Gumbull's voice actor of all people.

like I don't know I wish it was Darwin instead that would have been funnier what show What was that? Huh? No one was Darwin from

Amazing World of Gumball Oh I don't I don't watch it I don't know their I don't know their names At all I don't I'm actually not What show? What show is he on?

I didn't I don't Gumball Gumball It's like the amazing world of gumball It's like a cartoon Oh I know I thought gumble

Oh okay I was thinking like Oh so it's okay I got you I only know his name because he's the title character and that's how people were talking about it but I don't know any of the characters on the show I don't know their names at all.

I actually, I like, there are certain clips from that show that I remember watching that I really liked but I never actually said that. It's like adventure time to me where it's just like I miss this. I'm not, I'm just not gonna. It's too late. Yeah. Anyway, let's move on from Dream. John Strickland, give me a second.

I need to make sure I'm not straight. My boys are in the men rooms. Men's Room getting ran through like it's Watergate. Merck's 1889. Circumcised but still stacking that cheese. Happy birthday, Chris. Oh, thank you. Yeah, my birthday is in three days.

So it'll be after this episode, but before the next one. I'm going to be 30, which is fucking weird. I don't know how I feel about that yet. Exactly. But... It ain't nothing, niggoo. Hmm. Yeah.

Anyway, Chinese Spider-Man getting eaten and starting COVID-23. Pre-Raz, Blake 896. the actual strap on Lacey used to peg me being sold on eBay for $69,000. A chili con dickhead. Nicky Zicky. I feel kind of gay. By the way, thank you for Nikki Zicky. She's been giving me like all these like crazy, like she gave me like a Bioshock strategy guide

and like two Gears of War books that they're all like prima like strategy guys. There's like a bunch of art in them. So thanks to Nikki for those. I feel kind of gay. Yeah. I could use one of those Nikki. I could use one of those gears books, Nikki. See a little favoriteism going on

Nikki You don't live in Cali dude We see her every weekend literally We hang out like her We have her way for her weekend Don't even try to make excuses for her man To be fair I'm coming for you

I haven't seen them in a hot minute But I see them every weekend My closest friends I'm coming for you Nikki I'm gonna watch out Nicky's dead I kind of feel gay

Gonna suck on some peen Can you ready if we just threatened somebody live on the... Go to suck on some penis today. It doesn't matter much to me as long as he coombs, misfits last caress, the chin implant that Matt Rife built a comedy career off of. Monk the non-binary here. Nice.

Before. Texas Tato Salad, Slender Man, made me scared of white people. I'm Dr. Roxy, the rock and roll clown. I do cocaine. Sue Hulk, tickle my ass hairs. Nicky Zicky. Wait, again? Oh, I didn't even realize.

This one was... That was a fake one that's sneaky. There's another one that's... Niggie Ziggie. Oh, Niggie. I auto-corrected it in my head. My favorite opponent, the Niggler. All right.

Chris, it's Marcus. Baird has an idea to get you out of a coma. Jack is going to play Imagine Dragons on repeat till you wake up. Jackson Dupont, Bradley Brave, Huggard, Derek, duck hunt, Goliath. I've been denied everything. Even my come. Aetherian, Pergerian, Hunter. Melfis won the Angriest Crout.

And, as always, running out our list. King of Habazard. The King of Hephaver. Oohie. Sweet, sweet. Yeah. So we all have a solid beginning to your December. We'll catch you.

Next time I see you, I'll be 30 years old, and I'll be in crutches, and I'll be bald. And pussy, pussy. Yeah. My blood pressure is going to spike. Sweet, sweet. Okay, bye. Thank you.