The Snark Tank - #202: Trump in Mortal Kombat DLC?

Episode Date: January 29, 2024

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Yeah, everything all right, bud? Does I want to kill myself? The fuck. Well, yeah, but like you're not supposed to show it. What's up, guys? Welcome to the show. What's up, guys? Isn't it fun how $20 can't buy anything now?

Isn't that cool? Isn't it fun seeing the people that you love age in front of you in a rapid way You can't stop and it makes you sad? Hey, man. You know, anyway, welcome. Welcome to the show. Good vibes. Reverse aging cookies.

Yeah, Jerry, bring the meth in right now. Continue. We got, look, man, you know, people, people, people get older, people get gayer, people get more, more retarded. Amen. People get richer, people get poorer, people, people get. I can't touch you anymore. Dad, you're so gay. People get more autistic.

People age. Gay. Yeah, you know, I mean, I remember being heartbroken when I was, like, you know, like when I realized that I was the I was like I was officially at an age where like pedophiles would dismiss me you know like they'd be like ah it's not young enough you know it's like I remember feeling like I already face I already face so much rejection in my normal life that that have it just not even the worst people will accept me now I swear to God I've never thought of that in my life I think

very few people very few people. I swear to God. I guess because you're small, Chris, you were like, oh man. Yeah, it's actually, it's actually, no, it's actually the opposite. I'm sure, I'm sure. I have a,

I'm pretty confident that, I'm pretty confident that up until I was probably like 23 pedophiles were probably like, yeah. At least kind of, you know, sizing you up. I'm petrifying this guy. Yeah, I'm,

I, I'm prey. Like it's a fucking app. Yeah, I'd pedify that guy. He's pedifiable. I'd swipe Brian on this guy. Download pedify.

The advertisements are really fucking loud. Welcome Welcome to StarTank. My God. My God. I don't even know. So, honestly, I got to be real with you guys.

I got to be real with everybody in the audience as well. Obviously, support us over at Patreon. on our com slash Snark Tank. We have fun doing the show. but knowing what our plans are for kind of not the not necessarily the immediate future but this but the soon future kind of makes me frustrated at the setup that we currently have you know what i mean like i'm just like oh man we got we got the the webcam and and and the internet delay and all that stuff and we've got some stuff cooking that i think i don't want to confirm yet because i don't want to get

ahead of myself. But there's some exciting evolutions that we're about where that we are aware of with the podcast that I'm just really amped to get to. And so I'm just like, man, we got to, we got to iron these, these next few months out in this, in this format that I know is like, I know people are going to be so excited when, when certain things happen. Yeah, for sure. I don't know if we've talked about it.

Do we talk about it on the show publicly or? We have, we've, we've definitely mentioned a handful of times that, uh, that I'm, I'm coming back, um, uh, to Cali and we're going to figure things out. Uh, we, we've mentioned a handful of times. The one thing that I've seen a lot and why I know that we've mentioned a few times is, uh, people have been kind of hyped about those prospects and then. Yeah. The one recurring question is live. Dude, it is, it is, it, let me, tell you something. It is fucking baffling the amount of people that are requesting like live shows for this thing. Like I've done some cool things in my life that I've actually felt really proud of. Thanks. I appreciate it. I appreciate this not be one of them. It's cool as shit,

man, because I mean, let's be real. I don't know if I've said this before, but this was definitely a goal of mine was to be a part of some sort of podcast. that was always wanted to do this. And so it's kind of cool that this kind of just happened to work out. So I'm like dope. And, yeah, we definitely, we definitely want to do a live show. The more, so over on Sacredson, we've done three so far with Sacred City. And we're doing another one in New York City in March, which is crazy.

Oh, wow. But the more I see like the behind the scenes kind of planning of this stuff, the more I feel like it's kind of not that. it's expensive is the thing. That's kind of the thing. It's like you really rarely, if ever, like between covering like expenses and travel and like lodging, it's really difficult for like a small show to turn a profit. We would really just be doing it out of the,

not the kindness of our hearts, but just to do it and just to like touch base with people in person or to touch base with like the audience in person. It's not really like, I don't know, maybe we could figure it. I don't know. got to look into it, but it seems like it'd be pretty easy to plan. If we're all in one, if we're all in one predominant city, then I think we can do it. If we're paying for like flight and shit like that, like I think they're going to do it.

I think what we should do if we do it, I think we could probably muster up like since we're all going to me in California just to mitigate the cost of it. Do figure out a show in California first. Just do it at my house. That's minimal. Yeah, we'll do it at Kingsett's House. We'll share every. we'll share and now everybody knows

my not big house at all my house is really not big at all so many problems with that I think sincerely you would get arrested for that I wouldn't even tell Lily Lily would just be like

why are there random people here and I'm like what are you talking about yeah I don't maybe if not arrested you would definitely be shut down because I know

it's been a long time since I've partied in like there used to be you know the house party scene used to be popping way back in the day like everywhere right and then it's it's starting to crack down right so that's what I assume so it's probably don't get buck no more I'm I was the last one I was at that was crazy was a 2017 I saw a party get out of head I saw a party were like that's really recent actually it is more recent than I would think so so it's like that's a that's a that's a rare one that's a that was also seven years ago see it's actually not recent at all seven years ago seven years

Seven years is kind of, it's, it's, it's, it's crazy. It is crazy. When I did count how many years I've been doing YouTube, I was like, what? That's, that's, that's great. That is kind of, it's upsetting. It's, I've been doing it since I was fucking, I've been doing it since, technically since 2006, which is fucking up, beyond upsetting. That's gross.

I've uploaded stuff sporadically, but as far as, like, actually upload, like, here's my opinion, guys, it wasn't until 2014. No, that's not true. I forgot. That's not true. That's not true. 20, 2010. I used to have a, I forget. I used to have a little political channel in 2010, and then I nuked into existence when I was like, I got so jaded.

I was like, fuck the world. That is what happens. I was like, I'm done. The jade. You know what it is? There seems to be something I honestly sincerely notice as, and maybe, honestly, this might vary from person to person. And it might have something to do with age as well. I don't know.

But I notice that for whatever reason, like the beginning. like the beginning of the decade kind of sucks almost always for me like I noticed that like 2001, 2002, 2003 not fun for me really but like 2004 yeah 2001 I get 2001 yeah

for various reasons but 2001 for me was very lit but like it's because I was stupid was it lit at the end though I just want to know yeah it was lit at the end too until I missed my episode of Yu-Gi-yo because of terrorists. I told you guys that story, right?

That's right. I was so mad at terrorists because of Yu-Gio. That was such a wild thing. So funny. His episode of Yu-Gi-O got interrupted. For people who are new who haven't heard this story, Kingston was a fucking... How old were you six, seven?

Fucking moron. I was... In 2001, I was six. You were six, right? Because I was... Well, I was turning seven. I was seven. Yeah, okay.

So, I mean, okay. I was seven years old. I don't know about that. But yeah, so you were a young kid and your Yu-Gi-O episode got fucking interrupted by the 9-11 terrorist attacks. And that's stuck with you more than the terrorist attacks did. That made me a blue-blooded American. That's when I started. I was like, goddamn.

There were goddamn brown people over there doing to take my damn Yu-Gi all away from me. I show them one for I go over there and lace that strip of guys with bombs they'd never seen The point that I was getting at was But then like 2014 to 2015 Or you know

2004 4 5, 6, 7, 8 Of so far both the tens The 90s and the And the 2000s have been pretty dope I don't know I don't know why Like for me personally

This is my cycle I'm noticing Because the 2021 The 2021 was fucking terrible 2020 was terrible Like for universal reasons But now I feel like things are I don't know I feel like I don't know man

I feel optimistic in a weird way Like I don't know I feel like things are on the up and up But I envy you I envy you so much Because I really I might I can't Dude I want to turn my brain off to The world's problems and even problems in our own

backyard so badly and the vast majority of content I can consume outside of when I'm working or something, you know what, it just needs to be background noise, is political stuff that's keeping me informed and it's just making me so angry. And I'm like, oh, you know, it's election season. So it's like, oh my God. Your optimism is, I'm envious of your optimism. I need to be very clear.

When I say I'm optimistic, I don't mean like, oh, the world's going to get better. I think things are on a steady, I think things are on a steady decline from here on out, basically. But on a personal level, I feel like, yeah, on individually. I can agree with that. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I feel, I can agree with that. Because on a personal level, my life is fucking amazing.

I'm happy to be alive for the first time and like, I've been happy to exist for like maybe. happy to be alive. For like maybe, maybe three years of my life, I've been genuinely happy to be alive. Is this one of them? Most of it is like neutral. I'm here and I'm here and I'm here and,

you know, I'm doing it. And then like, there's been like, at least like six of those years around. Like, dang, I don't like this very much.

But this year, last two years has been really dope for me. I've had like really good experience. I met a lot of really cool people, done a lot of cool things. You know? Yeah, nobody cares about that.

I'm a woman. Let's, Nobody gets a fuck about that. You, man. You guys are just having your happiness ripped to shreds. Beautiful. Anyway. Anyway.

That happens a lot. Dude, I went to, I went to Walmart this morning. And I was just zoning out. Like, I'm in, I'm in,

yeah, yeah. Hey, Walmart has a good prices, man, shut up. But the neighborhood Walmarts are actually pretty good.

Because the neighborhood wants and they don't have all the mutants in them. Walmart. And they don't have all the mutants in them. Walmart fell out of favor with me. Walmart. fell out of favor with me when they stopped being 24-7 like when they stopped being

open at like 3 a.m. But I understand why they did it though. Oh yeah, I get it. It makes me mad but God damn when I would go in there at those odd hours, the freaks would come out. It would be so cool though. Remember our Walmart? Yeah, dude, I love

I loved going to the fish kill to the fish kill Wapengers, whatever you want to call that area Walmart at like 2 a.m. and just watching people who are clearly on the sex offender registry who are too afraid to go in the daytime just meander through the aisles buying like

fucking tank tops that are too small generators Hi Walmart at like 2 a.m. was the time where you would see shit you could not explain. I would see shit that made no like I saw some guy that

was a zombie like that was a zombie like I saw some like that like I was so taken back that I was like I was near him enough to look at him he started bugging but like not close enough for him to lunge at me

and that's just uh if in real life I was like yo what is that? That's just the uh that's just the employees that's late night at Walmart it's a whole different story

like I'm too old to feel safe in Walmart now at late nights what do you mean when it gets past 10 I'm like all right we're getting out of here now let's move on let's make a Make a move. Let's get... It's going to get...

It's been nerfed. It's been nerfed into the ground. I'm just too old now. Like, as a 30-year-old, I'm like, ah, I'm just getting past 9.30. I know what's about to show up here. I can't protect everyone I'm around right now. We got to start moving out of here before these creatures exist. The thing about being in a Walmart that late, and I kind of attribute this to being out late, like, super late anywhere,

is that you kind of... I feel like I make really... really evil assumptions about people just because they're out at that time. You should. You should. But sometimes, but like I'll be, like, if I'm driving at night, if I'm driving at like 3 a.m. somewhere, usually, I don't know, in my experience, it's, I'm going to some girl's house. Like, in my experience, that's usually what it's been. I'm driving at 3 a.m. to see someone or something like that.

And I'll be on the road and then I'll see somebody headlights pop up on. behind me, the only other car on the fucking road. And I'll immediately assume, this guy's a killer. This guy's trying to kill me. Because like, why are you out that way? Like, what the fuck are you doing out that late? Exactly.

But like I never, I never give them the benefit of the doubt to assume that they're just probably doing something like I'm doing or just something equally as harmless. I just assume the worst of them. You're never out that late for no reason. You're out that late to do some fuck shit. And it really depends on where you're going. Like, see, that's why.

Walmart, see, there are some 24-hour food places. You understand, there's a lot of reasons why you want to eat at 24 hours. You work overnight, so this is your lunchtime, you're coming home from something, you get a party, you're drunk and you want to get some food. Plenty of reasons. A Walmart, for example, it's just, if you're shot, like, it's, there's nothing good that comes of being at Walmart 2 to 3 a.m. Then nothing. I need a gun. I need a good at 2 a.m. Even the people that work overnight, you go at 7 in the morning, You should have. You definitely can't tell somebody a gun at Walmart at like 2 a.m.

Right? You can't do that legally. I don't know, dude. There has to be a law. There has to be a law in place. That's like you can't get a gun right now. But what's the reason? Why wouldn't you be able to buy a gun at 2 a.m. at Walmart?

Because no character that's acquiring a gun past midnight is up to any good. I guess the same reasons why you have to stop selling liquor at a certain time. Like for those certain reasons where it's like there's no good. that's going to come out of buying alcohol at 4 in the fucking morning. You came by alcohol past like 1030, I think, or something like that. There's like some, it depends on state by state. It actually depends on county, actually. Really?

There's counties that will, there's some counties that will not even sell you alcohol on Sunday. It just depends. It just depends. I have really, I have really specific memories of buying, oh, well, this is in New York. I don't know. I don't know. Is it different? Yeah, it depends on where you are.

Like a lot of places don't sell you alcohol past a four Usually is the that's usually the cutoff Off 4 a.m.'s usually the thing and then I think it resets that all right I think I was Are you thinking 4 PM? I was like what the fuck? That's like what the hell? No that's that's insane That's fucking happy hour

That's happy hour. There's definitely fucking no no no no Four in the morning there's usually a cut off and then it resets I don't remember which time but that's that's standard for a lot of places But yeah, like I said, I understand I miss overnight Walmart. I really do, but I get it. It's like as much as I want to be, it's all about me and seeing all the freak show. It's like, as a business perspective, you're like, yeah, dude. There's no, you're not making enough money to put up with all the shit that's coming through at 2.3.

I want to buy batteries, a sweater, a generator, a lawnmower, a gun, and an Xbox at 3. in the morning, why can't I do that? I like the idea of like at 3 o'clock at night, like an alarm starts going off and it starts drawing all the greacher's to Walmart.

You just sit in your car in the parking line and hide. You gotta hide if they see you, they'll mall you and eat you. But if you hide and you just pay attention, you'll just see every sort of fucking creature. Some dude will come down flying with like fucking like bat wings and lands and it'll recede it to his back and he'll

walk into Walmart a bunch of like a storybook monsters going into the store I saw one of those people

this girl that I went to see pretty late uh she lived by a Walmart and I actually

her apartment I parked in the Walmart parking lot to not because I couldn't park in her structure I guess

and the there was a guy that was on everything. I don't know. He was, he was so, he was so fast that I thought like

there was, you know, an actual, an actual after image trailing behind him. He was doing, he was just, I was like, I am so, like, I'm so don't move because I feel like if you move too much, he's going to come after you and he, he, he started

like, uh, I don't know what he was doing. He was pressing the, you know, the releasing tire air from the tires for some reason. Not like just letting them deflate, but you'd go up to the wheel and he had something. And then he was laying on the floor for a while and I was like, yeah, I guess he was doing them a surface.

He was just checking the pressure or something. So it was just a tire gauge. Yeah, yeah. I love the idea of some guy who's, I love the idea of this dude. Like, was he like glowing? Like, what was, because in my, the way you described him, I'm imagining like, Frank, Fontaine at the end of Bioshock where he's like blue with glowing veins moving real fast.

And gross. He was not glowing. He was just, he looked like a, he was, he shaved his head. He looked like he was just, uh, there was these people, um, shit, Lamerada punks, I think they were called. The LMP. They had, they, you ever, you ever, uh, seen people who were into like social distortion, bands like that? And, um, yes. Yeah.

Um, yeah, shit like that. Those people. bandanas and fucking he looked like one of those people and he was just on I think he had like maybe maybe it was he like ascended to a level of because he was just doing things that like I don't see normal people move that quickly it's like a video game you know how people move faster

because otherwise it would seem to if you move normally it'd be boring you'd be like this too fucking slow and yeah he was fast and then he was at the end he was laying on his back just just I don't know what the fuck was going on but I'm so glad it better frame data than regular people he had he did frames he was

I wonder what he's up to you think I'm pretty sure he's dead he must he probably dead or he's in like he's in like another plane of existence he probably figured out how to leap yeah he yeah he did he got it he probably figured out how to leap and he left

us he left us behind yeah he's like he's like he's like dr manhattan now and he's just like he now he's just like i don't go fuck about anything y'all y'all are so irrelevant i'm so powerful and i the idea of dr manhattan calling a person irrelevant it's crazy you're irrelevant you're out of here just just you're just right man hent's just rice gum he's just rice gum Let's, uh, let's, uh, all right. Yeah, I, I don't know. There was, I was looking through some of the stuff in the news.

There's really not a lot of interesting stuff going on. At least in my opinion, I, I don't know. There's, uh, DeSantis dropped out, whatever. Obviously, he was, he wasn't going to win. Uh, something could happen. One thing. Nikki Haley was talking about how she wants to raise the retirement fucking age to 75 and everybody's just, but who said that?

Or, no, 70. Yeah, Nikki Haley. We should expect kids who are in their 20s today should expect to retire at age 70. And I really don't understand how these people. Yeah, match it with life expectancy. Yeah, I really don't understand how. Retire when you're dead, essentially. Yeah.

I don't understand how these people aren't afraid to say these things. You know what I mean? Like, I really feel like we've failed as a society because these people aren't terrified to speak this way. Like, they should be terrified to say that. like you should be if you're a politician and saying that shit

you should be cowering in as you say it you shouldn't be out there like proudly like yeah fucking and like let's be real like there's not there's not gonna be any

social security when we're fucking that age like the idea that system is gonna be gone right before we get to that age literally it's gonna like we get around that age

the idea that there's any faith at all possibly placed in that system by like this generation at all that we would even bother that we would

I feel like no one would entertain working until they're seven like most I would imagine most people would just fucking leave the country like most more people would rather leave the country than do that I think like easily

fuck that's ridiculous that would happen if it's it's just like you know I'm paraphrasing George Colin when he always when you that one line where he talks about you know when you think about the dumbest people and you realize that they're even like

half is dumb or whatever what is he say like yeah it's yeah but I I don't I think about that all the time, though, because you're always, you shouldn't be surprised at the level of human stupidity, but then you continually are. And when you hear Nikki Haley say stuff like that, or when you think about just a lot of those new wave of politicians that are coming in, like a Matt Gates, Lauren Bober, a Marjorie Taylor Green, like anyone like that. And they're one trillion percent advocating for things that are 100 percent against their basis interests. And these people still put them in.

You're like, Hmm. You know, all you can do is just like, huh. Hey, I know none of you all want to work forever and then get retirement. And then she says this.

And then you just completely ignore it. And it's like, I don't, I don't know what to do at this point. I don't know what to do. The Carlin quote that you were thinking of, by the way, is think of how stupid the average person is and realize half of them are stupider than that. And it's probably probably very real. That's the real as shit, though.

Because you're like, I can't believe. It just. I don't know. I'm just saying outside of that, I didn't really see much else in the news. That was really. Yeah. There's a lot of political news. It was on a flagrant.

Who? Huh? The Vec. I just, I wrote on their comments. on Instagram. I just wrote on their Instagram hard pass. The fact that

I, dude, I used to, so it used to be called flagrant too, right? Now there was people that were confused that aren't fans of basketball because they didn't understand.

They're like, is there a first flagrant? Is this the second podcast? Like, no, flagrant two is a type of foul. But so they got rid of it. Just call it fragrant. So there's no.

fusion and when they did that they kind of repackaged the show and the producers got a little bit more involved and Andrew Schultz really is trying to bump shoulders with some more prestigious people and the show has gotten so shitty because of it where before it was like a podcast about just trying to you know be stupid assholes and make jokes and now you're going to bring on warm warm or whatever when that guy is Dude, he's a fucking, he's just a brown elf. Like, he is this, he is a, if you look at him, he's like, he's like a, what are the, what are the elves? He's a little slime ball.

Who are the, who are the dark elves in, uh, in, in, in Skyron? What are they called again? Not, not in Skyron, but the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the glimmer, no. No, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the thing. Oh, the fucking farmer. Yeah, the ones that are underground. Fulmer, those Fulmer pieces of shit.

Fucking P, dude, timeout. Let me, let me talk. Let me talk real quick. Dog, fuck Falmer, bro. Fulmer are the worst piece. I would kill every fucking farmer I find.

I hate them snow, but those fucking snow elf blind idiot titanus wearing pieces of shit I fucking hate him. I fucking hate Falmer, bro. It's more passion than you've ever shown for anything. I can. bro, the

Falmer, the mission about you have to find a Red Guard woman and it's because that Falmer came from the basement and killed that whole family because they had a hole downstairs in their basement that Falmer came out of. She's in the middle of the snow city fighting Falmer in this house.

Skyron has come up there lately that it's making me want to like genuinely reply. Like actual. Gotta turn it back on. I've thought about it many a time. times and I fought the urge. There's a comment, there's a comment about how,

there's a comment that we got recently. There's a comment that we got recently. I think it was on an extra ammo where they were talking about survival, survival mode and I'm like, that kind of sounds, I don't know. That sounds more and more enticing to me as the days go on where I'm like,

I kind of would be down for, for, for a Skyrim play through for the, because I haven't really, I haven't really, really played Skyrim since 2012, probably. Like, I played a, a little bit when the Ultimate Edition came out. But that was your, that was really Kingston, you know, that was your first time.

Yeah, I went crazy. I've sunk in, yeah, that's definitely my most played game. Yeah. Because of all the different platforms I played it on. Yeah. Yeah, by far. By far, that's my most played game. And I'll get back to it eventually, especially whenever some Elder School 6 news comes out,

like when they just, hey, here's a map or something, whatever the fuck they're going to do. You'll get the itch or whatever, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's smart problem. Dude, I'm excited for, I think this year we're going to either get surprised by like how MK1, we got ambushed by MK1. I think we're even going to get ambushed by Dreadwolf or will at least know exactly when it's coming out this year. Yeah, probably. We'll find out when it's coming out that year or sure.

Yeah, I just want to be ambushed, man, because they've been working on that shit for too fucking long. What if Vivek Ramaswamy is in it? Unfortunately. You get to kill him. Honestly, as long as he's not a main companion, I would like, okay, I would make sure the game is modded to kill him if you can't kill him. But if he was a companion, I had to interact with him regularly, I would, I would, I, can you sound different? But I might actually not buy it. I actually might not buy it.

I'd be that pissed off. Can you imagine the prospect of like, like. Did you imagine? Just the sheer idea of, like, okay, you're running for president. And so the way you're going to campaign is you're going to do motion capture for a fucking RPG, a highly anticipated RPG. You're going to be a character in the game to promote your fucking campaign, basically. Like the idea of like, you know how they used to have like movie tie-in games? Yeah.

This is like a presidential tie-in character. Here's a thing. Holy fuck. Even though I dislike Trump infinitely worse than Vivek, because Vivek is just a fucking, you know, a corporate piece of shit, blah, blah, blah. He's like a lot of them. Yeah, yeah. It's a slime. But if Trump did mocap and was in Dreadwolf, it would make me want to play it more.

I would love if Trump did mocap for Mortal Kombat, dude. And Mortal Kombat would be fucking, if he was like as himself. Yes. Like that would be, because that would be the only character I would practice against. You'd be the only character I, like, it would be. What is Trump's fatality? What is Trump's fatality? What is nobody ever asked this question? What's wrong with you guys?

What's wrong with you guys? This is a fucking bloody question. That is a good question, right? He'd fire you or you'd blow up. You're fired. And then you just explode and you die. Get out of here. Cut those lights.

No, cut the lights off. He did it. Cut the lights off. They cut those lights up or then a fucking stage lamp and fall on you and kill you. I'm trying to think I want one of his moves Like maybe he has Kevin McAuster come out And like Kevin you know

Puts a pipe bomb down your throat or you know Whatever he does something Kevin McCauser throws Kevin McCauza throws the strongest Pipe bomb at you ever The most lethal Pipe bomb Get him

Get him Get him dead Kevin I want him dead Kevin I want him not alive anymore McCauley Like getting a cousin Macaulay too. He's not even, he's McCulley, Cawken. He's not even Kevin McCallister.

He is so barely associated with that at all. Like, he, they have maybe 10 seconds max of screen time together at all. Maybe three minutes of in-person contact in real life. But his fatality is Kevin McAllister or fucking McCulley Coulkin speed running. a fucking pipe bomb down the opponent's throat. I love it. Get him, get him,

I want him dead. Kevin, beat his eyes. Beat him to death, Kevin. That's right, Kevin. Beat him,

beat him down. He gets, he gets in, he just makes, remember, you'd get multiple. He makes it, yeah,

so that's one of them. And then another one is, uh, he incites an insurrection. And you, and the character, that was my next, that was my next thought,

dude, that was my next thought. People just tear you to pieces. Yeah. they'll be like, I won, kill him. And then everybody just runs up and they just Rips him apart. Tairs of like a wishbone.

Trump will be the only character. There's like there's like walls people are falling off of two in the background. And they're starting to be falling off walls and dying. They all storm you and they kill you. But some of them are climbing up this castle that's there for some reason. I feel like that should just be his stage. Like he should have like, you know, most characters have like their own stage or whatever. And it'll be in the capital.

with all that chaos happening He'll just be called January 6th That's it's just called January 6th That's all it's called I feel like Trump should be the only one that has Because like saying you know in a lot of RPGs They'll be like a health swap move So the idea is to when you're about to die

You swap with somebody else has full health I want to feel like he has One of the only abilities that can do that To where you know And it only happens as a fail safe of you're about to, it's about, you're about to hit him their last, he's about to lose his last, his health, HP. And he's like, no, no, I win, I win.

And then that's when you health swap because he just, he refuses to die. And so you have to be careful. You got to do it during the last hit. Yeah. And they can interrupt combos, but you got to do it on the last hit. I don't want to make it too. I don't want to make it too powerful. No, no, no, no, it's that, it's that bullshit because it's like you're getting hit with

the combo and all it does is make it so your health comes back. That's it. You're still in a combo chain. But if you press it the right time, if you put this input at the right moment, you'd be like, no, didn't happen like that. So essentially if it's like a combo breaker, if it's like a reversal, then you get it. Yeah.

I like that. I like if you like, no, no, no, no, no. He walks into the camera. He walks into the camera, he breaks fight. No, no, no, no, no, no. This didn't happen anything like this. You're the one who lost. And then all of a sudden, your life Everybody saw. Did you see I saw? Yes, we did.

You all saw it people. You all saw it. You all saw it. You're going to say, yo, what the, what fucking game am I playing, bro? I wonder if I could, because there's a guy that's making most of the MK1 mods that I put on. I wonder if I can pay him handsomely to just, can you please make at least a model of Trump? Can I at least just have him in the game? I just want him.

I just want him to swap a character with him. So I can at least, or I've been talking about Barack Obama for the longest fucking time. Barack Obama, that's a classic. I can finally get it. I want to get it.

I just feel like Ed Boone, I've harassed him so. I am shocked. I am not blocked by Ed Boone. You are absolutely, you should absolutely be blocked with him. I've tagged him so many times. and I'll see him retweet much smaller tweets that he's tagged in.

So I know he's seen some of the shit. You know why he retweeted them and not you? He might have just muted them. Yeah. Horsassing him in. Oh, totally. I totally. I have 100% cop to that.

I've harassed him relentlessly. And I even tagged him in the latest thing with the Omni Man thing. And I was like, asked him for his thoughts. And, you know, you tagged him in that? Say anything. I did tag him. He must have seen it. I was like, if he definitely, I know, there's no way he could have avoided that.

There was too much traffic on it. But, and I was thinking this might be the one where I get blocked. Nothing. I got to give him props for not blocking me because I probably, you know, I would expect anybody else to do it. He has a better, he has a thicker skin than fucking Sean Aston, that's for sure. That's crazy. God damn. Anyway, let's move on to some questions.

Yeah. Let's get some questions out of here, right? Sandman.gov wrote in. It says, salutations, you wretched human, come stainers. Stainers, Jesus. With all the buzz about the Epstein list, it got me thinking, this is a couple weeks old, by the way, but, you know, still, it's January.

What fictional characters would be on the flight logs? The more absurd, the better. So what fictional characters would be on the Epstein flight logs? Definitely, Mr. Crabs. I have a good one. Mr. Krabs probably, yeah I have, I have, uh, I feel like Mr. Crabs would be on there, but I don't think he's a,

I don't think he'd be a pedophile. I think he'd be there for the status in the money. I don't know he's a pedophile, but I think he saws unhappy and someone gave him money and he'd shut up about it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like, he would be there. He'd be like, wow, this is where the rich people go. This is where the rich people go, huh?

And then he goes like, yeah, he's like, ooh, yay, me money. I love being on the island. Yay. And then, uh, and then, uh, and then he'd see a, Pearl. A child getting ramshackled. and then he'd

What are you doing your burle? They'd pay him. They'd give him $3 to keep quiet And he goes, oh boy, three dollars He'd shut up forever They roll a penny out the room By their fucking tags him And his poor young person

What are you doing to be Pearl? And he runs out the room And leaves him there To do what they're doing Yeah So him I think So you guys are I'm sorry

The real situation And then we'll go Continue Yeah yeah He would be selling Pearl Let's be real about that Oh, man. No, no.

That's what... Spongebob into it. He'd be tricking Spongebob into it. Anything for money, bro. Anything for money and status? Damn, dude. For sure. No, he actually likes to pro more than money.

He actually does. Yeah, okay. No faith. He's just some Redcon. That's just some Redcon bullshit. That's early episode SpongeBob, man. Am I nuts? Pearl worked in the Krusty Krab.

She was spending up all his money and he was fine with it. He was crying. He was hurting. He hated it. He hated it. I mean, he put up with it, but he fucking absolutely. He loves his daughter. Dude, he was going to kill himself.

if he if he would have put up with it for a day longer he would have killed himself he said he was true though he was like SpongeBob me boy if things are getting dark out here me boy Spongebob walks into the office and then he just Did you just fucking Popeye laugh? Who me? Was that how he laughs? I never realized that Popeye and Mr.

Crapes share the same way. I sound more like Popeye when I do it but that is the same kind of laugh. No, I know what you mean. Yeah, yeah. I heard Popeye. But yeah, yeah, yeah. Sponish boy, Bobby Bob.

There's pitipires on that island. Yeah, I think, yeah, okay, so Mr. Crabbs, obviously. Mr. Crabbs, they're doing bad things there. Don't worry about it. Mr. Spudbubb. Head over there, quick, and give me my money. Mr. Stas. Let him toss these ones.

We'll, we'll just blame it all on Mr. Squidward. The, uh, well. Right. You know those artists types. So we'll have, so we have Mr. Crabs. I think for sure, this is a very deep cut, but it's only in my head recently because I'm playing through those games.

That guy, that fucking bear in Spiro the Dragon that like arbitrarily locks off your fucking progress until you have enough gems to fucking continue. I think his name is literally Mr. Moneybags or whatever. That guy's on the plane. That guy's on the island. That guy engages with the kids. Like that guy for sure is a pedophile.

too deep. I don't even remember what he looks like. I don't know who he is. Look him up. I forget. I think his name, I think it's Moneybags. His name is money bags, dude. Money bags. I haven't played the remakes.

Spiro. He's in the original ones as well. Yeah, I just, I mean, I haven't played this one since I was like fucking, you know, play PS1. No, yeah. I, no, obviously. I totally get it. But, like, if you Google him, even just his image, both in the PS1 and in the remaster, he just looks like he's up.

to no fucking good. He's just up to no good. It's the first two images. Oh, because he's like all elite. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like a super elite as fucking, there's like children in his bag. He's got a fucking money in that bag.

He's got a monocle. Yeah. Fucking pieces. What a shithead. Pedophile? Is that 100%? Monocle just means, you know, royalty and royalty equals pedophilia.

Okay, gotcha. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a few degrees separated, but it's still there. It's still there. I think the Monopoly Man. The Porni and Alex Jones and everybody.

The Monopoly Man absolutely sacrifices children. 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Monopoly Man. Is it Aquaman? The Monopoly Man. Oh, 100%. Isn't the Monopoly Man's name like money bags or something or something close to that?

It's like, it's like, I don't know that. Let's see. I'm probably so wrong. I think you're right. I do think you're right. I think his name is like dollars Mick bucks in my ass or something. Like I don't know what the fuck. Bucks in my ass.

Rich McNitt. His name is Milburn Pennybags. Jesus Christ. Kitty bags? So he's trying to be humble? Yeah. Oh, Penny bags.

There's moments where he's really poor too. Remember that. Even though he's been through it, you know. No, that nigga owns everything. And he watches people way lesser than him play gamble with. the money that he already owns, all the properties that he already owns. And he's like, it's, it's, uh, whatever.

So we got the Monopoly Man. We got, we got the bear from Spiro that impedes your progress for no reason. We've got, uh, who was the first one that we had? We got them. I feel like, um, I feel like, I feel like Dudley from Street Fighter would be there. No.

He just seems like, yeah, because he seems like, respectable at the same time, you know. I mean, Dudley's, I love Dudley, but I just feel like I would be disappointed by him. like I feel like okay no to be fair it probably Dudley's father was Dudley's father was and then he was actually probably

best friends with Epstein and then he probably I can't remember if Dudley's father actually went to jail or if he died I can't remember his origin story the arc but I know he like lost everything

and probably because he was gonna you know something happened there was a disagreement and then Dudley Dudley, he's associated, but in his father's honor, he's kind of keeping quiet. So pretty much anyone elite

is kind of what the theme's happening right now. Anyone who's listening? Yeah, if we want to break it, I can imagine. Ken Masters, Ken Masters for sure, before he met Eliza. I feel like I could imagine,

and this isn't necessarily for any, like I feel like Kramer would be there, but like I, but I don't, but I feel like it would be like an accident. Like I feel like he'd get Like he'd get on the wrong flight And he would scream me N word

And he would get kicked out Before anything bad happens But he still did scream the N word there Right Yeah Like come on dude Like come on dude Docs

No DK's not malicious enough He is a he's an ape who wears a He's an ape who wears a tie He's on the island He's too small I don't think I think DK would be one of the victims there No, that's out of your right of mind

They would lead him They would lead him there were bananas They would trick him Because it's really easy to trick him And he'd be like Just they're like Oh so he's happy to get Like old white men taking off this goes

He's like What taking off his tie you mean He's trying to take off his tie He's like push him away Like he's trying to be gentle And they start touch him A little too much He starts freaking out a little bit

But then they outpower him They start outpowering DK And he gets confused How do you outpower his donkey cog How are they outpowering Donkey Kong? I don't know, man. Somehow they're so powerful because they have the blood of young children or whatever. You know that whole.

Exactly, bro. They're harder than Army Man is, bro. You're not outpowering or overpowering fucking Donkey Kong. He's not only a gorilla. No, you've never drank the blood of children. You're right, but like you have to understand he's not just a gorilla. he's a girl think about a normal human being right now think about a like think about the strength capacity of a normal human being now think about the normal strength capacity of an animated human

being now scale that with a gorilla look I'm aware of DK is out of pocket I'm quite aware he's a powerful guy normally they're fucking him they're fucking that there's no way he's he's he still has stamina he's found away he's tired eventually they found a way they found a way tossing that gorilla, bro. They're tossing. I never thought that I'd be raping Donkey Kong. I found away. I found away.

With my adrenicrome in hand. That's an adrenal chrome. That's it. That's the shit that I was thinking of. It's so bad. They do him so dirty that D.K.'s tie is standing straight up. because all the cum that crusted on it. It's standing up.

And D.K.'s is lying there, bro. They got to chisel him out. Do do, do, do, do, do, do, do. They got the nerve to play that while they're fucking him. They got the nerve, the audacity. That would be that. Jesus Christ. And then it's got Diddy and a.

cage in the room too. Did he just stuck in a cage. He has to watch it. And he's like, he's like, he's like, oh my God, I can't believe this is happening.

He was the strong guy in our family. He was the hero in our family. Yeah. And then you see it pans off to the, to the other corner. And then King K rules is there just blown out and dead. He just did the corner.

Just fuck. He got fucked. He got fucked dead. You pan to the corner There is a freshly fucked to death King Gay, Roo. I'm going to glaze my slime

His scales, bro. There's come under his scale. Over your shoulder, you know that I told you I always be picking my Wait, Dicking you down or something. Just turn around.

Just turn around. This sucks gay already, dude. What are you talking about? That song is crazy already. I never thought. I never thought that I would rape Donkey Kong. I found a way. I found a way.

It's a wild. Let's move on. It's so good. Jesus fucking Christ. See what's inside? Like, it's already there. It's just a mess. The room's a mess.

Everyone's face is a mess. Everything is done. I'm going to spray. I'm going to climb across his thighs. I'm going to jam my pipe inside your spine. We have to do that. We have to get a fucking song. Yeah, why not? fucking whatever. Who cares?

100%. I'm so specific. I mean, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, I know. Whatever. I look at your home. I'm fucking you hard as I can till I blow my load in your mouth. Do you think?

Let's see, let's see. Get another. Okay. So, uh, rhino, rhino shitting up the back of his suit like a baby rode in. Oh, God.

That's golden, dude. I mean, I think that's canon, though, because all the fuck does his shit. That is canon. That is canon. He's stuck in that suit, man. He gets to the bathroom a little too late, and Spider-Man's like, why are you sweating chocolate?

That's part of why he's so effective in combat is that, like, he smells so bad that people's eyes water, and they can't, they can't, they can't make sense of anything around them. Like, oh, my God, what is that? Spider-Man Spider-Spider Man Spider-Sense is like, this motherfucker got septus. Don't touch him, Peter. Get the fuck out of there. Hit him with stuff. Do not lay your hands on him once. You'll die.

Who the fuck is that? Who the, who is that? Is that Elizabeth, New Jersey? What the fuck? And it's just rhino. Yeah. It's just rhino's smelling like absolute shit. His fucking spiky senses is just going crazy.

Yeah, everyone has spiky sense around, around him. Yeah. You smell that? Rhino's coming. Oh, God. Anyway, he wrote in. He wrote in. He wrote in.

He wrote in. Spoil. Destroy Spider-Band. Yes, Fisk. Get out, go. Hurry, hurry. Hurry, get out of here. He's in a fashmats.

He's in a hazmat suit? You smell like age to come. Get out of my fucking office. He's a hazmat. What's that for, boss? Don't worry about it. Get out of here, please. They pay him in, like, soap that they beg him to use, but, like, he just doesn't care.

He says, what do I need? that for it's fucking fine he thinks he smells fine because his sinuses are fucking ruined they've been they're completely melted yeah he can only he can only smell

like he only smells blood basically like that's all he smells for the rest of his life can't smell anymore he thinks he can smell he remembers smell very well he can't smell No, but there's still like a default sensation there, though, isn't there? No, I think he thinks there is.

If you can't smell, surely there's one thing you smell. Like all the time. It might not be anything. Finish saying what you're saying and repeat that out loud. And how does that make sense to you? Well, because if you're blind, you're seeing dark, right? And if you're deaf, you're hearing something. No, you're not seeing anything.

Right. That's how blindness works. You're in the, your mind's in the darkness. If you can't smell, you can't smell anything. That's actually not how blind that works. People who are blind do see things. Like it's not, it's just like, well, most people who are blind are just like legally blind.

Like they can still see shapes and light. Most people that are legally blind are legally blind. People that are blind and they can't see, they can't see. I don't know how I can't believe that. I'm referring to someone being complete blind. Like, not like legally blind. We have vision impaired. But wouldn't they see black?

No, they don't see anything. I think there's darkness. I think there is darkness, but it's not darkness in the sense that we comprehend when we close our eyes or when it gets really dark outside. They don't see anything. No, but even if you, listen to what I'm saying, listen to what I'm saying. If you're in pitch, if you're in pitch blackness, there's literally no light in a vant of black room. And you open your eyes. You are seeing darkness.

I think it's different compared to what a person. Because if someone's like, let's say someone goes blind versus born blind, right? Right. If you go blind, you understand that this is like when I was before, when I would close my eyes and I see nothing. Right, right. If you're born blind, you've never seen. So you see nothing. But that's not how that works.

Because, like, they're still seeing, they're still seeing, they're still seeing, before you, let me be wrong, if I am wrong, but let me choose this sentence. Oh, sure, go. Because like, because if you feel like, what you're saying is like, if somebody goes blind and then they see darkness, they'll be like, they'll relate it back to when like, oh, this is like when I would close my eyes in like a dark room and I would see nothing. And that a person born blind, they wouldn't have that because they wouldn't see anything. There's still the same type of blindness. Only one person has the context to understand what that is.

It doesn't mean the other person doesn't see darkness. It just means that they don't have the capacity to understand that that's the same person. They won't even be able to comprehend it. They'll be like, what do you mean? I've never seen anything. Derek looked something up. What is the, like what is it? well so apparently it's it's somewhat of a misconception um that that they that they see black um

because i guess the the you being blind is not like say you know the part that absorbs light for example uh like your eyes absorbing light may not be the part that causes you to be blind so it's Not like, you know, so it's, it varies so much. But like, I would say most blind people, they're even saying the people that even are like totally blind. They don't just see nothing. It's like, you know, you would see nothing if he didn't have eyes at all, essentially. Like if your eyes were gone and then there was nothing to absorb light at all, then it would be completely pitch black. So, but this is something I need to read more into.

Right. It's yeah So imagine like that right So they still see something Blindness is blackness right I guess blinds can technically be Super brightness too Yeah probably

Just like completely washed out I want I'm actually kind of fascinating in this So I read it and not be as ignorant as I once was I do have one's but so just to be clear What I was saying was Assuming you do see Yeah it was more towards blackness You still see something like

Like, it's the idea of, it's like, if you can't smell anymore, that, you must still smell. It must be like a, I feel like it works in, like, definition, right? I don't think that's how that works, though. I feel like it must because that's with everything. Like, it's like deaf and mute people. Like, they can still speak in here. It's just that they can't. Some people that are deaf are 100% deaf, though, they can't hear anything.

They don't even have the buzzing town or the muted sound. They're just death. There are some, yeah. There are some words pure silence. If you are truly deaf, not like partially. Because there's not a partial hearing loss. I guess, yeah. You can't hear.

I guess I just can't fathom not hearing anything. I guess that's what it is really. Of course. It's just, it's difficult for me to fathom it's here and see. But no, but I can fathom blindness. Like I can,

I obviously. Like I very, very, you can fathom darkness. You can't fathom blindness, I can fathom not hearing way more than fathom blindness. I think you can fathom darkness.

You can't fathom darkness. You can't fathom. I'm literally blind. Blindness. Well, you're not blind, Chris. You're vision impaired. There's a difference.

All right. There's a big difference between that. We're learning it right now, literally. There's a huge difference between you having very bad vision and you being blind. There's a different thing, clearly. Yeah. Like, I can fathom being in a dark. That makes sense to me.

I've been in a dark. I can fathom seeing nothing, but I can fathom seeing nothing but shapes and light with no definition. That is very, very fathomable to me because that is literally how I see without my glasses. I have a definition to them in a way that I wouldn't have if I was blinded. That's for sure. But I can fathom it. Like, it's very, I very much clearly understand it. I think you can fathom the idea of not being able to see things as they are with your normal eyes.

I think that is what you're fathoming. I don't think you're fathoming not being able to look at something and tell at all what the fuck it is. Like, I think that is what you're doing at a level. I do. Are you at a level where you couldn't play video games? that your glasses, like you couldn't play it all. I could absolutely not play video games on my glasses. Like, even if you gave your eyes a time to adjust.

You really have no concept. Kingston, I don't think Kingston has a concept of how bad my prescription is. I really don't think you have any idea. I've seen you, I've seen you, I'm minus 11. 300 or some shit. I'm minus 11, which is fucking crazy. That is very bad. That is very bad.

Yes. I cannot. And this is what, and this is what I mean by like, I can, Like, I could, I could meander around a video game that I have played before, probably, like, based on, like, color memory. Like, I, I see, like, shapes, like, vague, undefined shapes and colors. And from that, based on, like, if it's a video game I've played before, maybe I could get through it. Maybe, based on color and sound and, like, other cues. But, like, I could not, I could not beat a new video game without my glasses.

No chance in hell. Like, it's not happening. Really? I can't, because I've seen you meander. I've lived with you for a long time. I see you get around the house on your glasses. Yeah, because I'm familiar with my surroundings. It looks like a struggle.

It looks, it looks, it looks, it there's moments where it turns into like the heart of the angel's like commercial and it's like damn. Let me put it this way. I'm not going to help it. I lost, I lost my glass. I lost, Hey, let me put it this way. I lost my glasses. Yeah, yeah, where's your mic?

Where'd you put it? Hey, where's your mic? Hey, where's your mic. Oh, it's right here. All right. All right. So, hold on. So, let me put it this way.

I once lost my glasses in a hotel room. and I had to use the phone, like my camera phone to look for them. Nice. Like straight up. Like I had to, I had to, like, hold the phone up to my face

and, like, use the camera to see the room clearly. Just so I could find my glasses. I am blind, Kingston. I don't... Just because I'm not... I mean... I mean...

There's degrees to it. It's like autism. So there's the limit, there's the limit, right? Like, just like being considered a little person. person, there's a limit, and there's a limit of being legally blind. Do you meet that criteria? I don't know. I feel, what is the, what is, let me see. I don't know what it is, but I have no

idea what it is, but I know like, you guys had a, would you guys have a governor or was there a mayor that was legally blind? Who was it? It was, it was a New York. No, in New York. Um, so it was Chris, it was a black dude that was like blind. No, not, not, what his name? What does name? What do you like, shatter it or something? You like Chargeraldon So here's You want to do

You want to do something Fucking awesome So simply put If your prescription Is minus 2.5 This means that you are Legally Blind So 2.5

And And below I'm almost Straight up 10 below that So I'm That is crazy So that means Lilian's legally blind

Too What the fuck? She is It sounds like That sounds Maybe I am as well I don't think I'm legally blind though I guess it means I guess legally blind

Why that's it's such a low bar is because You at that level Out of minus two whatever You need glasses You should be at you You absolutely should not be doing Specific things without your glasses Like you know there's people

There's enough people I see there's enough And I feel like this is one of the reasons why there's so many fucking accidents There's so many people that refuse to wear their glasses My friend Wonders why he He's gotten to like multiple accidents in multiple cars and he needs his glasses and he never wears him. And I'm like, I don't understand how he still has a license. But yeah, I could not drive with I had to drive with without my glasses once.

And it was fucking horrible because I had to basically, I was driving like two like two like five miles an hour with like the light. You know the two what the emergency blinkers on? Because I was like. Oh, the emergency. The hazard's on. I had to because like look, I can't go. I straight up can't go fast. I will kill someone.

I can't do this. And I only got home because I understood like geographically like where I was. Like I was like, okay, I know this road. That is crazy. I know these shapes can take me home. I know where my house is based on like how the road goes up. But like, yeah, it's fucking, yeah. So yeah, I'm legally blind.

I feel pretty good. I feel pretty good. Mine's only a small astigmatism. It just, worst case scenario for me, I get a headache. If I don't, if I wear my, if I don't wear my glasses all day, I'll get a really, you know, the strain on my eyes will get really bad. What's your, uh, what's your prescription? It's fucking nothing. It's like, zero point.

It's like, it's barely, it's not even one side's the right's a little bit worse than the left, but it's so, it's so, it's so little that, uh, twice before. I got my first prescription actually in Greece. That was when I started to notice that. It was like, why the fuck is everything blurry when I'm, I was like, I was like, like playing games. Like, I'm looking at the clock. It's getting blurry. And I'm starting to get headaches.

And then he was like, all right, yeah, you just have a stigmatism. But at first, I didn't even think he was going to give me a prescription. He's like, he's like, you do, it's barely anything. And I'm like, yeah, but I still want to be able to play games comfortably, asshole. He's like, oh, no, I'm still going to give it to you. And, yeah, two people are like, yeah, it's fucking barely anything. It's, but it's enough to where if I take my glasses off, if I'm driving, for example, everything goes blurry as fuck.

and then it takes maybe two to three minutes for my eyes to like adjust, but then my eyes start straining, right? Can you read the street signs without your glasses? Without my glasses, once it gets, because I'm, what do you call it? I can see near a lot better than far. So on your near side, is that right? Yeah, so like once it gets to a certain level, I can see it just fine, but like I notice that my, you know,

further and further away, it starts getting blurry, blurry. See, yeah, see, for me, I remember walking, I remember breaking my glasses and having to walk to the lens crafters to get new ones. And I just made, I walked, I walked back and it was like, it was all blurry, but like, I mean, it's, you know, I can, I know where I am, basically. It's not that big of a problem, but it's, it's funny because I notice, like, dude, like, I can look up at a street sign. And if, and how it works, basically is like, if more light is being, is surrounding an item, then is reflecting off of it, then it basically erases it. It's like it photoshopps it out.

So, like, I've been looking at street signs. And when I take my glasses off, it's just they're not, it's not there anymore. It's just, it's not even the thing. It's like the clone stamp tool,

like how you, like, clone stamp something out of a picture and it just surrounds it with, like, whatever's surrounding it. Whatever's there. Yeah. Yeah, that shit's cool. Straight up.

Yeah. So, like, I have a pretty, that's crazy. I have a pretty decent understanding of, like, what that experience is like. I feel like I'm going to ask you a question

a second, Chris but Sweene, I feel like you should just get glasses and it would probably change your life I'm so functionally fine without glasses but I probably

I feel like you think that I need them I do need glasses I feel like you think you're functional this is the same problem that my friend has at least contacts me I'm fine and I know he's not

I'm way more scared of contacts and glasses. Me too. I don't like contacts. Just wear glasses. I feel like literally the only negative. I would always wear them and I would fucking make, I have a weirdly weirdly bridged fucking nose. Bro, there's so many different types of glasses you'll find the one that's good for you.

And the only drawback. Honestly, you don't even have to use them all the time. You don't drive. You don't do fucking anything that really needs glasses. But like even just to have them just to be like, I want to play a game and kind of see. clearly. Like that's it. Even just for like little things. And do better. I feel like it would be

worth your time sincerely. I just imagine now, bro. I've imagined so well and I've gotten so far. It's imagining, bro. I feel like there are times where I close my eyes and I do better at games. I'm like, fuck it. This is not worth it. The thing about it, the thing about it is that you own things, you own things that almost feel pointless if you can't, like, oh, I got a steam deck OLED. Look how good the screen looks. Why did you even bother? no different. I know exactly what you. So just fucking get

glasses so you can get the value out of the thing, the expensive things that you buy. You know, at the very least? You know what the problem is, Chris? Well, you know what the problem with us doing this right now? It took this dude months to just get fucking curtains. And they're still not here yet. But you said that you ordered them.

Wait, did you order them? Did you actually order them? No. On Lily's life, I ordered them. I did. Okay. I'll order them. Okay. All right. They are. But yeah, us trying to get you to get glasses. I'm like, wait, it was too hard enough to get you to get some fucking. Dude, if it's not hurting me, I don't care.

I'm like, whatever, dude. Even him getting the mic was a son. It was burning your retinas. And you're like, no, it's good. No, I'm straight. That's how bad my eyes are. The son didn't bother me, bro. I was like, all right, bro.

I don't know what's going on. But yeah, you said you were going to ask a question. Yeah. No, we'll move on to the next one. So if you. They look into my genetics and have perfect adaptation ability. I mean, that'd be pretty fucking cool, but no, get glasses. Man, I'm the future, bro.

It's crazy. No, get glasses. Shut up. All right. If you, so if you got kidnapped and taken to Epstein's Island and raped by all those fancy oligarchs, but they just took your glasses off. Would you, would you be fucked? Would you not be able to identify any of them? Is it that bad?

I, no way. I had, no clue to do it. I would have to be fucking super close to them. Like, like, like, like, like. Like, they would be. No, but I would have to be looking at him also. You would have to be like, like, point blank in King K. roll's colon to even identify who he is.

They're like, oh, fuck, I think that's his ass. Can you imagine you? It's hard for me. It's hard for me to gauge. He's looking around. He's like, is that King K. It's hard for me to gauge what, um, because I've never had my glasses. I've never not had my glasses in a space

I've always If I've If I've ever been What do you mean? Oh no go ahead Go ahead Keep on Keep on

I don't I was saying it's like I don't What I'm saying is like I don't know if I've never experienced life Without sight in a space That I wasn't also

Incredibly and intimately familiar with So I don't know how well I would really Like I don't know I've never been in an environment that I didn't know well enough just based on sight sound, shape, and color.

What about what? We got to test this. Yeah, okay. We're going to have you assaulted in like... Yeah, have me assaulted. Well, I, yeah, if I've been through an area once with my glasses on, there's a pretty good chance I'll get around it pretty well.

But like, yeah, if they took... If I just was in a place that I had no context for and I had no glasses, it would be pretty, it would be rough. It'd be a challenge. Yeah. I'm gonna find like some underground. I could still beat people up.

I could still hurt people. But they probably should probably just go crazy. I probably wouldn't even see them coming quite frankly. Do we look like people to you right now as you look at the screen? You look like, no, you look like fucking. You guys look like Cousin Skeeters to me without my glasses. Oh my God. It is, it's fucking crazy.

I wish I, I wish I, sometimes I wish I could. record how I see just so I could explain it to people because people look really fucking because people look really fucking funny without my glasses like it's it's a really hilarious sight because you can't your glasses like Laura Kraft from PS1 I mean I mean put it more directly because your hands also cut off by the by the camera as well oh because we're in vertical yeah that's three right right but I know that based on the light in the shape of your hand you know what I mean like it's blurring but like from far away if I was like fair enough If I was five feet back, no way I could tell.

Unless you were, like, behind, unless you were behind a background that, like, was very clearly, like, very contrasted from you. You know what I mean? I see. So if you, so, like, gauging the, you know, the length of your apartment, right? If, if you were on your couch and I was in your kitchen and I took my penis out, you wouldn't be able to tell. You would not be able to tell them that took my thing on. No, I wouldn't be able to tell. He's walking around to cock out.

That's honestly I've got to take my dick out That's why I go through this time Stick my penis out Really, to me honest It's I have this So I have this

So this is actually funny This reminds me of something I have this So it doesn't really benefit me at all But I have been Granted this very strange privilege In some way Where you know

You know how like Women will like change In front of their gay friends Because they're gay and it doesn't matter Yeah I've had the same experience but they'll just be they'll literally just be like

take your glasses off And so it's like You get to see So like I straight up I cannot It just It's I might as well not be there Like I've been asked

Like hey you don't have to go But can you change it Can you take your eyes off It's like yeah sure I'll squint But like you know Yeah you're trying But do you imagine

You're right up near her Just Yeah I think that's a nipple I think I think he's like yeah barely that's pretty cool because that's still like the implication

still pretty hot like like when you would try to watch I appreciate it I appreciate being considered I appreciate the I appreciate that I am trusted in that way that's nice

it's a good feeling but I think it was good for all parties man that's good stuff I'm gonna pretend I'm blinding I'm gonna do that to random women on the street hey just so you know like I can't just so you know I can't see very well like you know

just walking on the street. Just so you know, I can't see very well. If you ever need to change in front of me, it's still. Don't feel obliged. What do you think, dude? That's such a crazy thing to say to a stranger. Let's go to the next question.

Can you flash your tits at meas because I can't, because I can't see them? That's like, I can't. Oh my God. What the fuck, dude? What the fuck? Would you,

would you mind show me your breasts? I can't see them. Is that a problem? Did I say that wrong? Gay man ass sucker of the straight man. Oh, oh, gay man. Sucker of the straight man. Nice.

I like that. Champion of the cum. The cum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a master of Bukaki. Dude, that's ideal, man. That's actually pretty perfect. So he writes in

Yeah, that's good He says hey Wrong wronger and wrongest Which one of you guys are winning a twerk off? I'm losing I got that I'm losing that I got some ass on me So I probably I got a good chance

I got I don't know my my ass is Proportionate to my body is Kind of ridiculous I feel confident my abilities Not because I've been working on my leg strain I've never tried to twerk But I made now that this question

the next time I go to the gym I may try I literally have I don't even know exactly how to torque actually like I understand the concept but the way that my body moves I have no concept I have no concept of how

how you would even do that really like it's always mystifying to me when people do I'm Jamaican and I'm Puerto Rican bro that is true Hips is part of my nature you have a lot of advantage I'm moving on nature bro is it Humping the air to make your ass jiggle. I don't, I have to try it.

You like pop the lower part of your back and like move the front of your body. You do like this motion. Yeah. I don't like that this is happening. The upper part of your body and the lower part of your body. I'm gonna wear the tightest fucking, uh, I have these UFC shorts that are, that are way too small for me because it was the last pair. There was just $10 on sale.

I was like, I want them. I'm gonna put them on and try it. Nice. I bought the, I bought the, out of them. They're $10. So, like,

I don't care if I can't wear these. I'm so fucking happy. I can't fucking, my fucking groin can't breathe. I love this shit. So, so Kingston, Kingston wins.

Uh, all right. Probably by default. Yeah, by default. I'm going to ask. I, I,

I, I, I, oh, interesting. Huh. Griff, Griff,

what is this? Grifter. Griff, Griffith, Griffith on, at the nith. The, thing.

Daniel? Something like that. I don't know. That's a lot of... That's a fucking hell of a name to say and spell. You wrote in. It says, Howdy Boys. Been a listener since the Jonathan Young episode roped to be into this podcast. So funny. We were just talking about him. I mean...

I just sent him some... Some songs or... Or... Some songs that I was working on, which is... This is so funny. Yeah. It's a different one than the one I sent you. but uh...

Damn, you've been busy. Yeah. Yeah. Been busy. Because I record a bunch of songs and I'm like, I can't mix this, but I don't know. So I don't know what I'm holding onto this for. I'll just send them out. But Jonathan Young episode rope me into this podcast, but I'm a newly christened homeless

person. Welcome. Welcome aboard. That said, that's it. Thank you. Skippy. Have the algorithms ever gotten you into something you never expected you would see slash maybe just some niche stuff that you want to show?

shout out. I've found myself watching a lot of console restoration videos or just like people restoring old shit. Like breaking it apart and like submerging it in this like weird chemical and then like blasting it with UV

and shit and then like putting it together and it's like oh it's like a this 14 this like 8th this 1994 Ford Taurus or whatever is like now brand new or whatever and it's like whoa I like that shit Because I don't have the space to do that stuff

I feel like if I had space I would I would probably do a lot more of that Type of thing I would I would probably build a lot more Of furniture and shit I was weirdly I weirdly did a lot of that In upstate

But I don't have I'm in a fucking Two Better apartment I'm not I don't have a shed But I'm watching those Um Uh Music Music

Music man Random ass fucking music Oh, yeah. I found a Japanese just wild fucking band called Otoboke Beaver and it's these three Japanese chicks

that play the most chaotic alternative punk it's insanity but it's also pretty good it's every once in a while for a while the algorithm kept showing me it was like oh you like Asian stuff obviously

so then it was just showing me crazy shit and I was like all right a lot of this sucks you're black you like Asian things you're black right yeah exactly you're black clearly here here you're black I'm like yeah thanks man you're black

just looking at my um yeah what you got I'll go rhythm bickly it shows me a lot of cool little artists that you know you never stumble upon

so sometimes YouTube works pretty well what do you get what have I recently got I don't know, man Most of my shit is like very like It's like My shit is like

D and DG card games FD signifier Like Like my My shit is so like regular for me Like nothing I don't I don't know Like maybe

I don't know I've been watching like Chinese like Mandarin rap battles That is so specific Kind of out there I guess That is crazy That was a crazy answer. Yeah, what the fuck?

You're watching Mandarin rap battles? What the fuck you're talking about? Well, because I watch dance stuff and because of the fact that it's, you know how Asians do everything black people do, literally? Sure. So it's like that. So I guess they just, like, all right,

they dance and I guess some of them rap at each other too. And the rap battles sound insane. I don't know what the fuck anybody is saying, but it's like, oh shit, this is crazy, dude. This is really, it sounds wild. I like the energy, man. It gets me hype before I go play Digimon and lose to a 12-year-old. It's really...

I get really hype, dude. I'm like, yeah, it's crazy. I can't wait. And then I go there and I get beat by a child. And I'm like, damn, dude. Putting way too much money into this game to be losing to fucking toddlers, you know? Yeah. I mean, that's why I'm not a PVP guy.

That's pretty much all it is nowadays, just getting beat by kids. You sit down the table in front of a kid. This kid is still worrying about chemistry homework. And then he proceeds to whoop your ass in this car game. No, he's not worrying about it. He's not worried about fucking anything. That's why he's so good. That's a very good point.

I was a very good point. I was a way bad thing. I didn't give a shit about nothing, man. I didn't give a shit about high school. I'm, I suck now. God damn. I'm even, I'm even, I've, I'm re,

I am now somehow bad at Soulsboard games again. were, you know, see, I'm at the point where I've played, I've taken so much time. There was the Eldon Ring and even before that. Because first that was, did you notice it during Eldering? You were kind of like, yo, I'm fucking up a lot. Incredibly rusty. And then I got lucky a few times that a handful of bugs kind of almost cheated for me with some bosses that I probably would have struggled with for a long time. And I'm like, oh, I was somewhat robbed, but at the all at the same time, I'm kind of relieved.

I couldn't have done you when you realize you couldn't have done it you're like oh that sucks I got stolen from me you're listening you're like yo I couldn't have won as even if I tried if I tried really hard I might not have won there are because I remember I remember being so locked in even I'm talking about I guess even 2017 that was probably the peak where I was just locked in oh elven ring sorry uh Dark Souls 3 DLC is out and I'm fucking I'm the ring city I'm a fuck up the ring city now it's hard like dark I'm Deer, that dragon was such a piece of shit. Probably took me like 20 tries to beat it.

No, no, no, it didn't take me. It took me three tries. My friend took me 20. But Gail, that fucking asshole, I don't know why I couldn't beat it. It took me forever to beat him. Anyway. That's being several balls in that game. There's so many balls that I could not.

I was going to beat every thing in those games. I was so embarrassed with myself. I don't think I can do that shit anymore, dude. I think I'm way to just, you know, you just get You were focused when you were a kid. I was focused around that time. Now I feel like if I try to go back and beat the ring city right now,

I would probably lose patience and turn it off. I'd probably just turn off. I'm getting there. I'm getting there. I remember when I used to be able to bullhead my way through every game. And now I'm like, I don't want to play no more. 100%. It was really sad.

Really sad. Really sad. I was like, dude, can we, I just want, can we please get rich so then we can just do nothing but play video games? I just want to

I just want to grind games and get good again and beat a bunch of titles I whatever whatever next question yeah let's do what I just want to play a game and play a kid and I beat him so badly he doesn't want to play the game anymore that's all I want

I want to be the guy that makes move on games I feel uh let's bring up bring up this one real quick uh Marcus parentheses Marcus wrote he says hey babes long time listener uh slightly long time listener uh slightly long time patron, first time question asker. Warring if you guys would know or be able to find out as to why I get an error when I try to give you all five stars on Spotify. I've been trying for like two years now. I genuinely forgot to ask every chance I got.

I love you guys. What the hell? There's a bunch of little emojis. I don't know. I've heard this from two other people as well. So I don't know. We really, that's not really on our end. I would have no idea where to even begin fixing that with the information that we have access to and the tools that we have access to.

and the tools that we have access to, that seems to be like a Spotify problem. Totally. I tested this out with a couple podcasts. Like, I tried to give them some good reviews, and some of them worked and some of them didn't. It seems like it's a Spotify issue, but I guess for right now, just if it works for you,

just try it. If it doesn't, you know, there's iTunes and YouTube as well. So that helps us also. That's so bizarre. So, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. But I just wanted to get to,

that so people know that we are aware. No, I feel that. But Tender Cutrode, and he says, Hello, Hispanic Pretender, some dark dude and David Duke's erotic nightmare. Whoa. If you could make any person alive today fall madly in love with you, who would it be? It's a simple question.

I like the simplicity. Princess Jasmine. I'm just kidding. I was just thinking of Jafar. He's got a really fat ass. Jafar? Yeah. Jafar.

it'd be Taylor so I could I'd make Taylor so fond love with me so I can reject her so horribly you don't understand you would be shot probably

you would be killed oh yeah someone would kill me someone someone that looks like a girl that me and Chris went to high school would kill me

yeah they would shoot me in the fucking head they would get you like sunny at the toll booth man you would be gone it would be so insane like you would be on your way

to like I don't know you'd be on your way to a Digimon tournament and then you just get Swiss to the fuck up. Yeah. There ain't nobody coming to cry over you how you were massacred. They're going to just find your corpse and stomp it out

even more. They're going to dig you up bring you back to life with their fucking weird pop music witchcraft and then kill you again. Dude, the 1987 Lawn her is great. They love her. They love her like people. They love her like black folks love Whitney Houston, bro.

They love Love her, bro. It's crazy to me. I've never seen more of an adoration and love for a pop singer that, I don't think we have any diehard Swifty's listening, but that is, music is okay. You know what I mean? So frighteningly average.

So frighteningly average. Her music is okay. It's not bad. It's just, I've never heard a Taylor Swift song where I'm like, Let's put it this way. I cover, I've covered a handful of pop songs, made the metal renditions of them. I've never felt compelled to do any of her songs. They just don't.

I'm like, oh, they're all right. I was like, that's all right. That's, you know, it's not bad. It's a little catchy. I think I think I never, ever. Now, maybe if I heard more. Yeah. Maybe if I heard more.

I'm being a little bit of a hater because that's the wrong word. I'm, I guess, obtuse. because I don't listen enough I don't listen enough for music I don't either I uh people love her I just always my assumption has always been this though

is that just like I don't know like this level of adoration is usually for people who are kind of just like yeah that's fine they just tap into they just tap into something that works I personally just and I'm talking about this on the show before

like I've just never like I hear I heard Michael Jackson and I saw the reaction to it, but I fucking, under no circumstances was I lining up to go see a show from him or care really at all. I think Michael, I think Michael's a rare talent because I think he did, he probably had, his adoresh was probably oversold, but I think he did have genuinely, to a degree, maybe to a degree

it was oversawed. Nobody should be worshipped that much, but. Yeah. But he had a lot of iconic songs, of course. He's a fantastic artist. He's an iconic artist. He is. I understand.

He's entirely good. I understand more than Taylor Swift, right? You know what I'm saying? Like, I understand how people win insane for Michael Jackson. Like, I watched it. The people like post on Twitter, like, such an iconic performance I love

and I watch it. I'm like, bro, I've seen kids on the street do these better performances than this. And that's not even me being overly hard. It's like, just like moving barely and like singing fine, 100% fine. And then people are like fucking picking up their kids and throwing them in parking lots for it.

I feel kind of the same way. I feel kind of the same way about Michael Jackson, though, because you'd be on stage and he would do those dances, and then he would do the lean or whatever, and it's like, all right, well, I know how you're doing that. You ever listen to any of his music actually outside of, like, popular songs only. Or, like, have you ever listened to his music? Because it's like, people say this about, like,

people say that about Kendrick, right? Like, oh, I don't understand people fall for Kendrick so much. If you listen to his discography, you'll understand why people think he's such a great artist. Because he's... It's not that I don't think they're great artists. I just... It's more just like the sheer psychosis around their fandom.

Like, I just... I have never... Like, I don't think Taylor Swift is a bad artist either. Like, I think she's a perfectly good artist. Like, there's nothing... There's literally nothing wrong. I've heard a couple of Taylor's songs. I'm like, yeah, that's a good song.

I wouldn't... I'm not putting it on my Spotify or anything. That's a good song. Like, I'm not gonna be annoyed if I hear it. It's not like, you know, every song that would play at like Sears when I was working retail, you know? Like, it's not... It's not that type of pop where I just want to kill myself.

Yeah. But it's just, you know, it's fine. It's entirely fine. They deserve their flowers and all that. But like the sheer psychosis around it, just like the worship and the crazy fucking reactions to just them be existing. It's weird. It's weird. I don't get it.

I didn't get it with Michael. I don't get it with Swift. But see, them in the same conversation, that's the thing that's weird to me. Yeah. Because even though I don't like the level of psychosis and Adoroa. and fandom for like a Madonna or a Michael Jackson, I understand it because I understand people. I understand how crazy and stupid people are.

So I understand why Madonna, her greatest hits out of record, I love it. I like a lot of her hits. I think she has a lot of fucking amazing hits over the decades. Michael Jackson, a lot of amazing hits over decades. Taylor Swift, I can't classify any of her songs as amazing. That's the difference I feel like between them, where I understand it even less for her. I think it's more of a, she's more of a symbol than it having to actually do with her music.

Like, she's, yeah. I don't, when I hear her music, there's nothing where I'm like, damn, this shit, like, there's fucking like five Michael Jackson's songs I can just rattle off and be like, that shit fucking fucking slaps. You know what I'm saying? Like, I can, I can use any type of term and be like, that's a fucking good ass song. Like, I appreciate. Yeah. Yeah, I guess his hits I don't like, really, I guess, is really what it comes down to. Like, I find.

It's so much variety, though. It's like it's all over the place. I think it's crazy because out of everybody for hits-wise, he has the best by fall. Like, I don't think he's the best artist by far. Well, I kind of do. But I think, like, I don't think he is, like, when it comes to his hits in particular, like, there's a reason why so many people put him as, like, the artist, like, V-1. I understand it.

But to me, it's getting to the point where it comes. kind of feels like obligatory. It's kind of like, yeah, Citizen Kane or like the Beatles. It's like, yeah, it was like super important, but like, I'm not, I'm more with you with the Beatles thing. I'm gonna put on fucking,

I'm not gonna put on Beat It ever, probably. Beat is kind of dope. Ever again. Beat, it's a fire song. Like I hear it on the radio. I hear it on the radio and then fucking, I understand what you're saying. No, I'm actually with you.

I don't actually, out of all the Spotify playlist I've had, there's no Michael Jackson on my playlist. And that's just, There's the Motown for me. To be fair to myself, to be fair to myself, I didn't finish. Actually, I've never finished making any of my playlist. They're always lacking. Like, I'll start and then I'm like, oh, whatever.

It's like eight songs or whatever. I have the same exact thing. I'm going to go for a mood and then I'm like. The song's on it. And I don't know what the fuck I'm going to get. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to. Like, let me look at my playlist right now. How did you do that?

Like, I have my big, my biggest playlist had like 30 songs. Oh, my biggest playlist has a thousand, one thousand two hundred. I don't know how. So are you guys like, wait, are you guys adding like albums at a time or something? No. Holy shit. I'm just, I just suck, bro. 1,1,000.

Oh, you're liked. See, the liked playlist isn't like. That's like. Like is, because that's not, I don't use, I don't use like. 933 songs. 133? I have a playlist that is, I have a playlist that is, I have a playlist that's called every song I've ever even remotely enjoyed, which is just like...

So you went on the way and made that? It's just called my music, and it's 900 songs. That's impressive, because I get way to, I don't have ADHD or anything, but I get, I get to a point where I start curating my playlists and I'm like, ah, whatever. It's just, I can't get that far.

I get it. Whenever I try to make another playlist, I feel that way too, it's like, well, my other one's so big already. Yeah, it's so... Like, why am I going to, starting a new one? Like, what the fuck is the point? I need to do that now, because I'm, I'm one of those guys. that keeps starting a like fuck fuck spotify raising their prices and shit so i'm like you just you just you just make up a new email and then you just uh you just you just go through the loops and then all of a sudden you get three you know you can get the three free premium months for like for free you do that i used to do that i got i just got tired of it

no see i would do i had i paid for Spotify for years and then they're like oh we're going to charge you like two or three more dollars now just for no reason and not going to add any new fucking features. And I'm like, well, fucking, fucking. I mean, honestly, I use Spotify so much that like, I understand, but they could raise it like probably another 30 bucks and I'd probably be like, oh no, I wouldn't. At that point,

I would just use the YouTube music because I already have the YouTube premium. So, well, yeah, I guess that works. YouTube music isn't as good. That's the only thing. They just need to just steal Spotify's format and then I would just stop using Spotify. Just, yeah, because you can't copyright a fucking format.

No, yeah, you're right. Like, so it's just like the way that like having, it shows you the monthly listeners and the top rated songs and the way that Spotify does it as a as a premium member is perfect. No one else does that. Apple music doesn't do it that way. Fucking D's or any of those other fucking things. Tidal. They don't do it in the way that Spotify does it. And I'm just like, can you just give me this format and then I'll fucking bail?

Yeah, I like the format. It has lossless audio. It's better. It's just. It is. better. But, yeah.

The format's kind of gay. This is kind of the thing, right, where it's like branding, branding is everything. It is. Where it's like, we're like, look,

a PC is better than a Mac. 100%. Like it just, and it, and it always probably will be. But like, you're not convincing that Mac people to get a PC.

And the same thing with iPhone and like Android. It's like, look, man, I've had an iPhone for a while. I'm not even necessarily super loyal to Apple or anything, but like,

dude, it's an ecosystem. I'm comfortable with already, like, I know my way around it. I'm not going to jump to fucking Samsung at this point. I just have that. I'm not going to jump to a fucking Google Pixel. I got a Samsung S23, specifically because I wanted better audio on my earbuds. I bought some premium earbuds that support LDAQ.

LDAQ is like the evolution, right? And so fucking Apple doesn't support LDAQ. And I was like, fuck. So I went to Samsung for three days. dude the fucking the the the the the operating system the interface is just too janky now they they updated it to be a little bit closer to uh iOS but it's just not the same and dude this that you have to call to check your voicemails you have to do that old it's like that archaic shit i remember it's like you have your old it's like you have that archaic shit like now because on apple you just have that section it's just there and then fucking it's just there it's just there and then it's like here's your voicemails and then you can just push the button and there's a transcript and all this shit

and I was just like, can we talk about phones for a second and how wild like I used to be the person that used to upgrade my phone all the time like every time it would be like like a month or two beforehand I'd upgrade my phone right

a month or two right like before my time's up I do my two years a month or two I'd be like oh like maybe like $85 more I'll pay $85 more and I'll get a new phone I haven't done that this time

and I can feel my phone getting worse. Like I feel slowly but surely becoming a worse phone, but I'm not gonna, I just don't care about my phone anymore. I've got to know what I just don't move fuck. Apple got sued a, um,

uh, hundreds of millions of dollars for, for doing the shady stuff. But the thing is, and just like all these other companies, they will take the penalty and continue to do it. Because they save, they make more money by fucking people over and just paying that small

penalty. And so they're gonna just probably continue to throttle, your speeds and stuff and all that shit. Yep. Yeah, so. I remember old, old, like, salienta service, the old grandfather plans. One of my coworkers had it,

where he had unlimited everything. In the era where you had to pay for, like, three gigs was like a bunch of fucking money. Get limited everything. And literally his phone, I'm sure they would, like, hack into his phone directly and fuck with it. And it was so fucking funny.

Everybody's like, I don't have any day. I don't have the day to do this. He's like, yeah, I got unlimited everything. And then I remember they made an unlimited. everything I think again, which I'm pretty sure, like, maybe four years from now, you're going to have to pay for unlimited again. You're going to have to, like, not be able to give unlimited data. Because I remember that was a huge thing for a lot of people just didn't have unlimited data. Dude, I didn't have, I didn't have unlimited data until like, probably the, like, I think mid-pandemic was when I was when I was when I, really? Yeah. Yeah, just because I was on a family plan. I was on a family plan. Like, and because there was like a military discount for like my, my parents. So we just stayed on, I just stayed on my, my parents plan. And they just. And they just. refused because they didn't use data so they were like we're not paying for this what's the point i'm just like guys it's it's it's screwed me over so there were times where i was stranded places and i couldn't get ubers because my data ran out and i had to like go to like some

starbucks or something like i use the Wi-Fi to call a lit like it was crazy and then like in the pandemic the pandemic was when it was like because i was just indoors like on my phone all the time and then we were running out of data so quick i had to basically for their hand. I was like, I'm just going to use up all of our data. And then they're going to see how important this is. And then they were like, all right. I even offered to pay for it, but then they were like, no. It's like, let me just let me do it. It's free. Like, nah, I'm good. They're very set. They're old. They're old. You know, they're set. They're set in the way things are. Like, it takes a lot for them to budge. But like I got it eventually. I think it was like

2020. I think 2020, 2021 was like when I got unlimited data. And I was like, wow. Which is crazy. It's longer than most people. I have them, 2014. because when I came back, I didn't have a limited date. I know that because I had overcharged plenty of times. But maybe like 2020, 2018, I got a limited date and I was like, thank fucking God for the invention. Yeah, I got that shit. Yeah, the T-Mobile 24th, man.

I've been, yeah. We just switched our plan, though, because now that we have, me and my buddy, we were just doing this one plan. It was just two of us. And then now that we both got married, it's now a four-person plan. It's way cheaper. That's the only thing we just changed.

Yeah. There you go. kind of gross. I don't know. You're on a plan with your buddy and not your wife. That's hilarious.

No, I know. No, I know, but the idea of it not being that is hilarious. Not being my wife. You're on a plan. What's just, we added our wife's

onto our plan. So it's all good, man. It just feels weird though. I just, I was just like, this is gross. This feels gross. So.

This is invasive. So you guys had to just to round this out. Just to round this out. My answer would be, my answer is Sydney, Sweeney. Oh, right.

Yeah. yeah she is you know what I get it I get it that's not I'm not uh she's not exactly my type but I would still I would still pipe it down

I would still pipe it down I'm not in a different life of course yeah if you're willing oh who else who would be

well you pick Taylor Swiftor so you can you could and she's very strong seeming I like her a lot. Who? I'd like to wet her. Who?

There's this like Jack girl from WWE now. That's like, she's like dark hair, she's a really nice body, and she's big, and I'm like God. So Derek. Oh, dark hair? Are you talking about Ria Ripley? I think that's her name, yeah.

Maybe. I'd like the wet her. I'd like to bed her. She can get piped. Yeah, she can get piped. What's up? Derek, I want to ask you, I want to ask you something.

Do you feel like, do you feel like, do you feel like Sweeney's going a little deaf? Like, do you feel like Sweeney's going deaf a little bit? Maybe. Because something's going on. Something's going on. Why? I don't know.

Something's going. I just have a suspicion. Either that or, like, you just, maybe there's a supreme. I don't know. I did, there is a, like, you're locked in, you're so locked in to, like, a thought. And then you have absolutely zero idea what else is happening around you. I don't know. I'm not sure.

What's going on? nothing because you had this look about you that said I'm deaf you know you had that you know how people look when they're deaf yeah yeah anyway one last one before we see one last one before we see one one and then we'll wrap it up

but Barry the Dead wrote and he says hello snarky cabin you've talked a lot about having potential guests on the show but have any of you considered appearing on another podcast as a guest also thanks uh thanks also eat my ass no problem thanks well you know what's interesting in in my position i i i am so happy where i'm at right now as far as uh because i used to i used to be kind of like in demand for creator stuff and uh i feel bad because i've turned down some podcast blah blah blah it's just it's just sure laziness

you know just being like lazy but i like that like we have a a thriving podcast, but outside of it, nobody, like, gives a fuck about me and it's great. It feels cool. It's a really comfortable, I've told people this many times where they're like, why, I feel like part of me has intentionally somewhat sabotaged my channel because I felt it getting really big. And I was like, I don't know about that, man.

I'm comfortable, like, because there's a comfortable level of note. variety where it's like you go outside and, you know, every now and again, you'll get, like, recognized by, like, maybe one person or maybe two people will be like, oh, hey, what's up? And then they'll leave you be and then you can exist. You don't have to, you know, the thought of, like, being any of these people with, like, millions of followers is just really unappealing to me, like in every single aspect of the word. Like, I'm already comfortable enough to exist and comfortably on my own. What do I need more than this for, really?

Why do I want to go to fucking, I don't know, a supermarket and then not be able to fucking leave because it'll be tweeted out that like, oh, I'm here at the supermarket. And then suddenly there's like 30 people and then I'm like a menace to society for simply existing. And then I got to wear masks and shit. Like, I don't know. Like that's not a, like where we're at right now, I mean, if we get bigger, that's great. I'm not going to turn that down necessarily.

But like I mean, we can, I feel like there's a level. level of comfortability that I feel like we're all kind of at or around. Yeah. Which is just very pleasant. 100%. And don't get me wrong. I've tried, like, I wouldn't, like, I just want to say before, like, I, I have still, I've, a couple of podcasts I've, I've done to, like, somebody have asked, that's fine.

I'm not saying, like, oh, like, fuck off everybody, you know, I'm not saying that. Yeah, yeah. It's just, it just, like, like. just piggybacking off what you were just saying. It is in a perfect level right now. And say maybe this is, oh, an amazing year and things kind of blow up or something. And then if there's people that want to ask or something, we'll see from there. I mean, we'll see what the fuck happens from there.

But I just, I guess what I'm thinking of is the question is, are there any podcasts you want to be on? Yeah. Because that's kind of like, I don't know. I don't, I don't listen to podcasts, really. I make them But I don't listen to really any Like there's only one podcast that I listen to And it's like a 20 minute podcast by

It's called Morning Somewhere It's by The previous founder of Rouserty, Bernie Burns and his wife And that was because like the Roustique podcast with him Originally was like the first podcast that I really Sat and listened to for a long time And then it just kind of came back after like five years of complete silence Raising his kids in fucking Ireland or whatever

and they have like a nice little kind of 20 minute kind of morning radio show that they do. And that's like sick. It's perfect for me. But like that's the only one I listen to. So I have no concept of like where I would even go. But generally my rule is I don't really like to be a part of podcasts that aren't mine unless I can be there in person. I see. Like if I'm going to record something with a delay with this kind of like webcam and this kind of thing.

I want that to be for my thing because it's already kind of I don't know I'm really excited for like the really near future where we get to do this in person and we get to figure all that shit out because I just feel like that's that's prime stuff that we did that initially that was how the show originally was

when we started but then the fucking pandemic happened and it kind of screwed us and then Derek moved and so we just kind of stuck with it but being able to do it in person again is going to be like way way more fun I feel like it's going to be way better I feel like we're going to be able to do a lot more And so

Unless I can get some semblance of that somewhere else On like in a guest capacity I really have no desire to put up with the delays With strangers Like I don't know it's I don't know it might be a dumb rule but I would still I was thinking about it the other day I wrestle with it

Because I the two people Like say Joe Roe was somebody who I used to like, right? And there was the invitation, blah, blah, blah. And I was thinking the other day because, no, not even the other day. This is my, well, it might have been yesterday. I don't remember 100%, but, oh, yeah, it was because Bobby Lee just came on his podcast

for the first time and like fucking forever. Oh, yeah, yeah. I never been on before. And I was thinking just like, oh, if it got brought up again, would I go on? And I was wrestling with the idea of the only reason I was wrestling the idea, because I feel like I don't know if I would be able to not try to. I don't know if I'd be able to not shit on him. That'd be a good episode.

It would be, I just, I feel like for that reason, he probably, I would never even be able to come on anyway because I know he used to be subscribed to me. I don't know if he is or is not anymore, but I made a handful of videos about him like just shitting on him.

And so I'm thinking, oh, I burn that bridge, whatever. But I was just thinking about, is there any podcasts I would even want to be on? I was like, well,

technically I don't want to be on that anymore because I just, He just failed me as Someone I used to look up to you Or like oh this guy sucks now But at the same time Imagine the opportunity to be able to I'm like I don't need I don't want to suck his dick So it just

If you have the opportunity to just be like You fucking bald piece of shit Fuck You are so dumb Like I just like I there's so many things I would love to say to him But I would go on Lex Friedman

To ask him Holy shit stole his soul I'd be like Are you who? Is there Zanix permanently stuck in your stomach? That's just like... Dude, that guy's a walking melatonin. Like, it's crazy.

That's so fucking crazy. I've never seen somebody more effective. Like, if I can't sleep, I put on Lex Friedman, ironically. It puts me right to fucking sleep. I couldn't, like, wow, I've never, I've never listened to anybody that I care less about in my life. Hey, welcome to the show. Hey, Bobby Lee. Welcome to the show.

What do you do? We have Destiny and Ben Shapiro. here. Debating the intricacies of pussy. And it's like, and it's like, holy shit. And no, that would be entertaining, actually. It's crazy that he plays guitar.

Like, he's really good at guitar, but somehow he makes playing guitar look boring, too. I don't even know that's possible. He just, like, I hear him play. I was like, oh, he's really good, but he just. That is crazy. You're totally right. If you play guitar, that at least boosts your stats in some way.

Like, if you're a girl who plays guitar, if you're like a guy who plays guitar, if you're just some, like, literally it just does, it does something for your stats. But like for him, it, like, it does nothing. It's wild. I've never, he, like nullifies the status effect of guitar. What the fuck is that? Yeah. Like, a normal guitar in his hands is like an acoustic guitar in the hands of somebody at a party that they weren't involved. invited to. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You know what, but I'm intrigued. I'm not, you know what, this poor man.

I'm a start. I'm a start. I know I said I don't give a fuck about me on a podcast or whatever, but now, just because, hey, let's see if I have any clout left from, you know, the channel. Like, even though it's completely dead. I want to see if there's anyone that'd be like, oh, yeah, I remember this guy. It happened with Tim Poole, but I didn't go on his podcast because I was just like, I can't do it. Remember when I made that song? He released a song And I was like, I'm going to release a song with the same name And like it'll be way better than this fucking guy's goofy. Didn't people think it was like a cover or something? They thought, I can't Is that not a testament to the George Carlin quote?

Yeah, yeah. It even says in the fucking title original song inspired by Temple Because I wanted to put in there to get the SCL, right? Let's maximize it. Oh yeah, yeah, of course. I love that you did that. Yeah, it worked. I was, he invited, I think he invited me on also, but I was like, I'm not gonna fly.

That was like mid-pandemic, too, like, I'm not gonna fucking fly. Oh, was it? Yeah, okay. I think so. I, I don't know, I could be completely misremant. I know I was, like, invited in some capacity to be on that, on that thing. Yeah. I just don't remember if it was like him or his people or just a general kind of, a general kind of invitations.

I don't know. I don't remember exactly the specifics of it. I went on one podcast ever. I went on one podcast. You went on one podcast? Who's podcast? A poet. What?

What? What? What? What? what poe has a podcast he does he does that's right pose law yeah yeah I didn't even know he had a voice

it was me Paul mom somebody else fucking hilarious I was like I completely forgot about that I saw it was the funniest one of the funniest one of the funn't shit I ever did in my life because I could just went on it and the fuck I wanted to back when I cared him enough to say his wild shit but but I would go I would go on Tim Poole's podcast

I'd go on some podcast I'd go on all of those far right ones and just sit down and just listen to them I would just listen I would just say that I would just sit down I'd listen and not take notes

and then when I just want to take a note about like oh it's nothing just keep talking and I'll just keep taking notes I thought about going on and just kind of somehow looping everything back into the Halo games

somehow like playing into the joke that like I could only talk about this that'd be great I am only authoritative in this says like he'll ask me like I don't know like

what do you think about the migrant crisis And it's like, well, I don't know, I think it's a lot like, I think it's a lot like the siege of void, if you really look at it. And like, what did Chief do in that situation? You know, like, it's complicated, it's complicated stuff. You know, it's, there's no good answer. Like, we're not going to glass an entire continent just to keep, you know, something from spreading. So, like, that options out of the deal.

That makes it really inhuman. That's not humanitarian. And they'll be like, just like, what the fuck is he talking? Like, like, the goal, like, the goal, if, if I ever appear on. of that stuff would be to just be such a disorienting presence that I just leave the entire audience studio and viewership completely befuddled. That would be, that would be amazing. I don't know if I have enough restraint to do that.

That's the only reason why I kind of just ignored the invitation. I think I would snap and have to say something. It's, I, uh, God. I would totally just, I think I would totally just, I think I might just grift actually. The guy might just be like, yeah, Timpool, yeah, trans people, like, I don't get them either. And then, like, come on over the Snark Tank podcast and, like, support, like, you know what I mean? I've thought about that. And then we'll just insult them when they get here, you know?

I thought about that so much, man. I just don't know. I feel like I don't know if I would actually be able to sleep well. That's a legitimate concern of mine where I'm like, even though I know I'm doing it just to, like, not legitimately. be an actual real grifter. But just even like from your position, I feel like I would almost be like, it's almost like, you know, let's say,

I felt dirty one time when a kid accidentally left his 3DS at a car wash. And of course I took it. Of course I took it because my friend let me know, hey, that kid left. That's God. That's God telling you you have a 3DS. Nobody came back for it.

It was instead of lost and found I'm sure that kid got beat up You know whatever And I just took the 3DS And I was like man I feel gross But I enjoy it I hate that I have that feeling sometimes too And it makes me mad

I enjoyed I enjoyed it But I felt gross You mean guilt? It hurts It feels bad You mean justified guilt for doing a bad thing Like I don't Look

I've had people That's not bad That's not bad That is that's I feel like whenever It's not evil It's bad It's not bad at all

It's fine It doesn't feel good It's not like I You know It's not like a actual Hey I'm I lifted it from this kid Ha ha you little shit

You didn't chloroform a child Beat him up After the fact that after he was already Unconscious and steal his Nintendo DS I understand that like it's not evil What you've done We gave it a little bit of time to You know once the everything was finished

The guys were done wiping down the cars And of you know obviously not tipping them And then we uh and then we Obviously not Obviously not Obviously. You would never. They clean the car.

You walk over to one of them. You bust right in their lap and then you walk away. Remember, if you're listening to this, if you're listening to this, remember, remember everybody listening to this, especially if you're young and developing, if you're like 17 and you're starting to go out there into the world and you're starting to, you know, go out and get meals with your friends and or just even on your own. Never tip. It's not your, it's not your responsibility that the economy is the way it is. It's not your responsibility to pay these people living wage. Why should you care? If you have $20, that should pay for what costs $20.

You know, like that's not your responsibility. So I want you to go out and exclaim that that's true. Never tip anybody. And if anybody told you like, oh, where'd you get this idea from? Say Kingston Jamison from the Snark Tank podcast told me that this was the way to live. What I say, man. I know what I know I know I know I know well I'll never forget

There you go That was the most nothing thing I've ever heard In my life I know what I know what I know what I never forget I am I am but that's all that I am Or whatever It's basically

Just busing in someone's lap That reminds you of those old say Like my dad would say They're holding out their hands for money And then you come in their hand That's me do You give a quick You give a quick two yakes

My dad would do this thing Blast on his head and then leave. My dad would do this thing where he would say, he would like, that sounds like an old saying that like my dad would say. Because he used to say to me like,

I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger. For a hamburger today. And I'm like, and I, what the fuck is that? That's a reference to something, but I'm clearly just too young. What is that?

It's Popeye. Was it Popeye? Yeah, so. Jesus Christ. So that, that piece of shit, that one, you know that piece of shit?

I think his name was like, Wimp, Wimp? I forgot it Whimp Chester Wimpy Wimpy I forgot his name He's that one guy

That all he wanted to do Was eat cheeseburgers And not fucking pay you And it's like what the fuck You're useless Get the fuck out of here He's just trying to eat for free But he says he's gonna pay you later

And I'm just like Who's this guy? You know where that guy ended up Epstein's Island Easy I like it. I'm glad you pay you Thursday for a child today. For a child today.

That's the updated version. What's his name? All right. I think it's like wimpy. I think it's wimpy. Yeah, here he is, that piece of shit. His name's literally wimpy? Yeah, Jay Wellington wimpy.

With a name like Jay Wellington, you're clear. Oh, dude, he even looks like somebody would be on FC's Island. 1,000%. Like we could, yeah. We've completed the... He looks like he's eating the kids. That's crazy. I'm swelling from all this fucking adrenalocrine.

I can't... I can't keep the weight down. I think I know who he is already. That burger looks fucking heinous also. Like, what a fucking disgust. If you Google him, the first image that comes up is so gross. It's like he's eating just...

It's like a burger with a void. It's like... It's just black. I want my meat well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well done. I didn't even notice that. He's eating a lump of coal in a fucking bun. This guy needs to be shot and or molested if possible. That's fucking, what a wild character this is.

Yeah, he's such a menace. He's just eating the charred like the endings of the burger. You know when they, you know when they, you know, when they squirt. the grill? He compiled the grill scrapings into a paddy and fucking put it in between two buns. It was like, this is good enough for me. It looks like dark matter. Yeah, it does.

It's like matter. That's a much of a sick freakie is, though, but obviously... Let's get the... Yeah, yeah, it's good at. Let's get the fuck out of here. I can't... Piece of shit. It's a piece of shit, Jay Wellington.

I bet Winpy... Yeah, the nerve to name himself. after a food and eat this tripe. Fucking tripe. Oh, my God. I'm glad we pay you Tuesday for an ass fucking today. I'm gonna try that.

I'm gonna get a hooker and see if they'll fall for it. I'm gonna go to Best Buy today and buy an Xbox or or another PS5 for my room and I'm gonna be like, hey, I'll pay you Tuesday for this. I'll be back on Tuesday.

I mean, that is kind of what a credit card is, actually. Yeah, yeah, fair enough. but I don't want to give them anything. I want, I wanted them to just, my word. Just take my word for it. I'm good for it,

bro. Yeah, no collateral necessary. Shoot this place up. I'm going to try me down. Make a choice right now. I'll kill everybody in here. Give me that PS5 and I pay you Tuesday.

Oh my God. You're going to count me down? What? Yeah, because I said count me down. You didn't hear. That's why we were talking. I'm not because I've been talking. I was talking myself.

My apologies. That's the, Is it your volume? Because sometimes that happens to me Where the volume is just so fucking low So low I just like I have turned it up crazy

This headset isn't the very loudest Drich, I gotta get a different one Is that the one you usually use? Yeah but it is I don't know I think the sound is kind of waned over at a time Oh I gotta get a new headphones

Get a new cable It's usually the cable How much? Cable usually dies first before the headphones Yeah Unless they're wireless Are those wireless doubles Hmm

Like these are these are just wired Like these don't work wireless Oh, no, these are double. These are supposed to be wireless, but I have, though, what you call it? To make them wide for this. Okay. Yeah, whatever. All right, coming down.

We're going to count down. Ready? Yeah. Three, two, one. These are our $25 enough patrons over at patreon.com slash the snark tank. If you want to be on this list and make me say just the worst shit ever, pop on over there, give us your fucking money, become homeless, be a real fan. Starting out our list, fuck bitch ass. Patreon, this website can suck my fucking balls and my dick and cock.

Well, that's not a great. It's not a great endorsement, but I swear it's good. Real shit. I swear it's worth your time. The app itself on the phone is pretty abysmal, but you get pretty good shit out of it, I think. Gay system of a down be like we're left with no come in the right in the power bottom. The song is Bubbles. Patreon cutoffs, cuts off my nay.

He cuts off his name. Nice. Private Ellen. Private Ellen. Cut off my balls, Private Allen. Private Allen. That's the fucking tutorial. You can cut his balls off.

Use R3 to shank my balls off, Private Allen. Oh. Oh! You've done it. We've got to get to the White House. So I can stitch up my empty balls. aren't you to cut my balls off. If you get your balls removed, do they leave the empty scrotum there?

What do they do? I don't know. He's so pensive. He's so curious. That made me so tired. Oh, man. You must? SpongeBob.

Like, what is wrong with you? SpongeBob Squarepants, more like blowjob gay pants. Bargans. imprisoning me all that I see Absolute savings Savings Leon Sam's Big meaty stinks

Andy the man whose handies Are Shtier and Dandy My sons My name's Sung Gaku Not Cockerot Derek quit Picture Chris and Kingston Both gazing in your eyes

Are they simultaneously Simultaneously Coddob your cock Heath Smoker Homeless woman Giving y'all the Fsler pass Sleeping with only a shirt Like Squidward is Peak

Jesse Pickman Rise against Reeducation to the sound of a black eye pounding away to the rhythm of the thrusting deep inside me. Homeless, trans femme, whose resolution is to fuck. Alexander the horse.

No, not Alexander the horse. Alexander and the horse eating Philadelphians. That one blood-borne death scream. Bitch, where were you, where were you when I had this cock in King Kuma? You are tuned into 98.7.

W-R-I-P with Negro and the Spick, mariachi music with foghorns. I really want to do that radio thing I want some cock sludge I love to swallow man spluge I really love to make Dix cry so tonight I'm sucking on sucking this guy's ball sack by Seaman M

the Star Tank is my favorite Marxist podcast Fuck it carry on with the Britain slander It sucks here listening to Sweeney makes me consider racism Sweeney thank you for being the voice of reason Christian kill himself baller the first sin Spum befudders To the tone of Rockmey Amadeus come and suck me I'm a penis

I'm a penis Homo I'm a penis I'm a penis I'm a penis I'm a penis I'm a penis I'm a penis Homo I'm a penis Oh my penis I'm a penis So stupid Jolly old dipshit

Could you nut in the vacuum of space Or would it freeze in your urethra Ruining the upholstery of a Ford F150 With the boys Becoming homeless to support the homies Cyprograph gay Peter Parker Be like I'm gonna put some dick in your mouth

Elmo found dead in New York City apartment getting loud in the club, parentheses smoking meth in the McDonald's playplace. Greetings and salutations. Welcome back to Snark Tank, a gay racist podcast. This is episode 300. My name is Colin Mordiarty and I'm gay. Andy, why you so gay? So Andy, why you so gay?

Are you homo, Andy? You've been dicked down. You've been fucked in your smooth booty hole. A smooth. Are the jagged duty hos? Yeah. Yo. Comey, come, come, come.

It's like fucking origami. Sweeney's superpowers being confidently wrong. Back to Tank of Come. Caucasian container in the cracker bow for gays. Donald Trump burping on Dom's clit. Fight me, Greg Miller for what you've done to my boo. Do Christian Girl Squared Holy Water? King Kong's ding-dong rode in.

All I want is to bust inside a guy or two. I'll fuck them. Then I'll fuck you. Thank God. We're gay. No rain. She pipkin on my pippa Popsim is gay and homeless

Fsler on the roof Be like if I was a gay man Yeah, yababab dibba dibba divba Dibba Dibba dumb I really get what's so gay about Dibba I don't know I don't know if that's like I think it's just

Is that something? It's just the melody of the song Yeah but I feel like it could be gayer Yeah I agree I agree I get this feeling in my gut that it could be gayer Average clit energy

What starts with my Hellcat is push to start and ends with ER Just the Hard R, Star Coffee, Yo, can I work on Gangsta Quest? Derek, check out Speed of Light, petition to turn Starlight's Actors' face back to normal? I don't know. Because, like, he doesn't say, like, is it a book?

Is it a game? Yeah, the issue with telling somebody to check out Speed of Light is that that's such a generic term. Yeah, that's all like. Like, I guess, hold on, speed of light. Let me look it up right now to see if it, yeah, it gives you what the speed of light is. It gives you.

It gives you space.com. It gives you NASA.gov. It gives you encyclopedia Britannica. It gives you just all of this stuff about the literal speed of it. Here's an Einstein article. What if he wants me to literally check out the speed of life? Hey, Derek, check out this. You're not going to believe what I found, but like check out this cool thing.

It's called the speed of light. Oh, fuck. Did you know about this? Did you know that light is like fucking, like, you could, if you ran as fast as you could, you probably couldn't catch the speed of life. It's so ridiculous. Oh, man. Petitioned to turn Starlet's actors face back to normal.

RIP. All right. I stopped paying my rent so I could be a real fan, trans femme gremlin, exposing people with lactose and tolerance and 90 million rodents of ionizing radiation. You should not Vin-Pen. The angelic DM. Big dudes fuck the living shit out of me.

They could care less as long as I'm on my knees. So take off your clothes and strike a violent pose, something, something, something. That's what I'm talking about. about. I filled the rest of that in. It cuts off a violent pose. I don't know.

Like my ass. I don't know. I don't know what a violent pose is. I've never been violent in my life. That's crazy. Craig the Canadian. This episode of Star Tank is very normal, I swear. This is actually like the most normal, even-keeled episode we've had in a while.

I wasn't too great. I feel like we're a recharge. So for Donkey Kong and King K-Rul getting. Is that what a K-K-Rul? thing is the fact that blind Chris realizes King K. Wool's fucked after the death in the corner is pretty funny. Yeah. I would have to get,

you know what's crazy? If a hyper-realistic King K. Rule was dead in the corner of my room and I didn't have my glasses on, I would have to get really close to it before I realized something was deeply wrong. How scared would that make you? Because I feel like at first I would think it's like, is that a pile of clothes? I feel like that would be my assumption. Yeah. And then I would get closer and then the

detail would come in and then I'd be like, oh, it's it's King K rule. and then I would have to come to terms with that and whatever that means. You got to become really okay with that really fast and that's super unfair. I think I probably would. I think if faced with a reality-altering situation like that,

I feel like I would be a lot more okay than I would otherwise be, just because it would inspire confidence and the fact that nothing that I've worried about up until this point was actually worth worrying about and there are far deeper problems. That aren't my immediate. problem you know what I mean like it's like oh I don't have to worry about paperwork and

emails if King K rule is real like that's a whole fucking that's a that's a complete that's more fun to think about I think like what the fuck could this possibly mean what are the implications of this could I go there could I go where he's from what is that like is there like a is there famine and and and and you know distrust and disharmony where he's from like why is he here what happened it's a lot more fun than thinking about like oh man I wonder how much eggs will cost next month. Yeah. It's your boy, Shawnee D. Daily Wire presents.

Matt Walsh's What is a Black. Ben and Jerry's Funky Monkey. If they ever make a Smash Brothers movie, Paul Joseph Washington should play Master Hand. And Crazy Hand. Racist Alonis Morissette be like, and what did you expect their N-words? ironic melody.

3XO. Inventing the new sect of Islam, where you get 72 fanboys after blowing out the bathroom, slurping, Stroken, smoke and joking. Emoticon's going like this. Homeless drip M.H.

Lord of Homeless drip. Dean Martin S. voice. Ain't that a dick in my ass. Obie won't you blow me. Norwegian game dev. Let me develop your game, Mr. Blackman. Kremlin to Gremlin. If I hear one more Chumba Casino ad, I'll kill you.

Deith Kavid. Appetan Oak. Fucking police coming hard. And as I thrust and pound. Abby, I don't want to be queer anymore by Rise Against. Donkey. Crying out, Shrek. Help me.

As Kingston savagely beats him to death. with dual-wielded hammers. Wage slave 583. A sad guy from Michigan. Down bad for helicopter dick emoticons so I could see Chris going to modicons going like this to it. The Pepini Brothers Emporium

of All right snark tank Feast your ears on that gay doctor's mix. Donkerson, monk gea. Yo, that was disturbing. Yeah. I saw where your penis goes all the time. Out of the corner of my eye, all I saw was skin.

And so I was like, I really hope nothing problematic is happening. Because it was your hands. So it was like white skin. White skin. It wasn't even white. It's tan at best. I mean, it's.

So that might be. Skin. Kingston, that's like Taylor Swift's hands. No, it's not. What do you mean? I mean, if she was fat, it would be. No, she was like big. No, Kingston, look.

No, do that again? Taylor Swift. You know, I'm dark, my hands are darker than yours. No, they're not. You're crazy. They literally are. You're crazy. Look how white his hands are.

That is great. It is great. All right, can I, can I ask you guys a question? Is that weird to you? What? What? My hands are white. Your hands are that palms are, that they don't absorb any of the pigma other than the, the, uh, the little creases.

Yeah. Like, it's weird to me, like, because even I notice it, like, it's, like, the idea that it's, I don't know why. why it's different. Do white people's palms look like their hands? I thought they did, right? What did? Huh?

No, I don't. I thought why people's palms aggressed her hand. I thought like that's my people's skin in general. I mean, it's harder to tell the difference, I suppose,

but like, you can tell it when I tan a lot more. It's like now it's a little more even. You guys clearly came afterwards. It's fucking crazy. It's fucking crazy. It's fucking crazy you guys are clearly the offshut. But you have,

you have white hands. We have white hands, white teeth. white eyes fucking white morals is not in there white come I'm like I don't like this man

some girl asked I swear to God I was at the shemite on my fucking life I swear on my life I swear on my life if I'm lying right now the most high take me there's no way

there's no way this white girl was like do black people have black come and I was just like that's not real. I swear. I swear. Why would that be?

I don't know. They're black. The black person, she had black tears too and black blood. That's why she's hanging out with a fucking, he's hanging out with the fucking Promethean,

I guess. What would get here to think that? Like, does she have like, does every, there's every fucking liquid that comes out of her, like white?

There's like everything. Does, like, she just have like, she's wide and she's pissing. She's fucking shitting white And then she's just like Oh well obviously

That's you know And then and then when she fucking Somehow had blood in her stole She's like oh I guess I'm Native American You shit and it comes out like bird shit And then you have to just pretend that's normal You gotta pretend that you know it's not normal But you gotta never shit yourself around people

They gotta be extra cause to never shit around people ever Well I'm not going to the doctor So this must be normal Yeah Monkey Yatsu You gotta pay the troll so to get in the boys' hole Gade 6. I can mathematically prove why liking Femboys isn't gay fellas. You can't. You can't. But it's fine. Do you think?

Bill Bo Faggans, be like, I'm going on an adventure, but gay. Here comes the come. Do do, do, do. There comes to come. Master of baiting, I'll come on his face, Metallica. If I were a gay man with a femboy or two, an evil lesbian, blow gay, me, ma. What the fuck? Blow gay me, maf. Fogg G. It's Dorei

Fasolati do I know what he's trying to do but like But it says G he says gee That's that's I don't know man The Gager scale I get it It's forced but I get it

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Synagogue of Keith David check out our journals The first church of Keith David featuring Paul Joseph Watson's massive fists I'm worried about this guy I feel like he's dead The first church of Keith David

Yeah Waffle punching his shit down to the sink drain Second Church of Keith David Feathing Being Better than the first church of Keith David Pre-Raz Blake 896 Crypto Scammer and the YouTube sensation Logan Paul winning the United States Championship at the WWW World Crown Jewel

He said son Have you sucked the balls What would you say if I said that you cocked Just grab on the stick You'll even get laid Um Reds against Hero War Sweeney would rather die than deal with furries

That would gladly fuck a girl Who could turn into a cat Little Dishrag Britney Spears It's a cat that can turn into a girl First and foremost Fucking idiot Look at terminology

I think That's worse I think No it's not Yeah because then it's a cat first Right Not when I'm fucking it Little dish rag Britney Spears toxic

In the taste of your dick I want to ride Your Cocktick I'm sipping inward Alaska Norfolk I suck me Cockra Sue Hulk Tickle my ass hair Is Nikki Zigi

Marcus currently working on turning off the hammer of dawn outside Sweeney's room, a roughly human-shaped pile of red flags, penis country, inhabitant, Wicked 909, Captain Crunch's Oops All Come, Jackson DuPont, badly, brave, hugger Derek, duck-cunt, the jiu-jitsu master slowly but inevitably mounting you, Aetherian, Perjurian, Hunter, frying bacon, with a shirt-off, and help us when anger is crowd enjoying the view from Daly Paws on this floor, and is always running out our list. King of Hephazard.

That's the fastest we've got through credits in a while. Thanks for stopping by. We'll see you soon. I let that slip out, by the way, in like a sacred simplest episode. I said, mine. My. It's a problem. All right, let's get the floor out of here.

Colin, man. What are you doing, Chris? It's me calling. Stop.