The Snark Tank - #206: The J*zzler

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

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Go to my skylight.com slash get-30 for $30 off your 15-inch calendar. That's M-Y-S-K-Y-L-G-H-T dot com slash get 30. Okay. Madly and N-word with you. You guys like St. Anger from Metallica? St. Inward from Metallica. That is so goddamn

though. I saw Metallica I saw Metallica won a Grammy that confused me. Oh yeah, yeah. They have a song. Well, they dropped an album last year called

72 Seamins. No, they didn't. I had a couple of good. No, no, they did. Look it up. up. It's 72. Seasons.

I don't know what you're talking about. It's seasons. So that doesn't even make sense. Why would it be seasons and not Siemens? There aren't 72 seasons, Kenston, dumbass. No, but 72 seasons is like a combination of a bunch of years, you know? There's four seasons every year. I'm just saying there are definitely at minimum 72 Siemens. Yeah, there's a whole, like there's. In total, like in total period. I have about 72 Siemens left in me.

Could you imagine how low that? Do you know how low of a, count that is dude that is fucking crazy what i like what i actually like about this is uh because the actual count is the sperm right the semen is the fluid so what i actually like about

70s 72 more nuts period bro just the complete lack of understanding is uh it's really what makes it's so ignorant is what makes it work yeah that me just gonna start coming straight little fucking sperm with No goo around.

Wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on. We're getting off track. So they release now and they want to, they want a Grammy for it? So do the, so the Grammys pretty much when it comes to like rock and metal for the most part, for the most part, because Paramore's new album did win best rock album. So it was pretty cool. But usually when it comes to metal in particular, they just don't give a shit about metal at all. so they'll give it to the oldest, like, band.

It'll be like, oh, fucking Motorhead released one fucking single. Give it to them. Oh, fucking. Oh, who made an album, though? Lazi Osborne, give it to him. It's like, is it? It's because not truthfully, but it's a dead, it's a dead genre in most of the public's eyes. It's, well, it's, I would say.

It's not really a dead genre, but like in the vast majority of people. Well, no, it's just not. not taken seriously. It's just like, uh, it's just like, it's just like, it's just not taken seriously. That's all it is because like, uh, it's always been like that. It's just not taken seriously. There's, you know, and even in the movie genre, when you go to the Oscars, there's certain things that just won't be taken seriously. Even doesn't matter how many people like it or think it deserves something. It's all about the certain groups of people that are voting. So they gave it to Metallica, which is fine. It's not a bad album. It actually really, well, when it comes,

Long story short, the only redeeming thing about that album is James Hetfield's vocals. He sounds phenomenal for like being ancient, you know, but everything else is fucking mid-city. And I think that's kind of music in general right now because you can talk about Taylor Swift and I tried. I mean yesterday I legitimately tried. I went through her catalog and I was trying to, my challenge was, I want to find a Taylor Swift song I could cover, something that would insubes. inspire me couldn't do it and I'm not even trying to hate but at this point I just sound like a hater because I just think all all of her music is mid there isn't anything that like gives me chills or makes me really want to like oh yeah yeah it's not gonna give you chills definitely

like or at least give me like someone of an that's why an demographic you just never be it man sorry I know I'm not the but I'm also but like say I'm not the demographic of uh what's it uh what's Her name, um, the, the sad bitch, uh, uh, Billy Elish. Like, I, that's, yeah, that's not my demographic either, but she has like two or three songs that I'm like, well, I cover two of them. Like, I think she has. Right. Some shit that, you know what, I just don't get the, I don't get it.

I, I legitimately don't get it. That's just all it is. I'm just old, I guess. For Taylor in particular, well, first of all, I hate how much America loves her. It's gotten to the point now where it's obnoxious. like I can't turn on anything without seeing her on it. Like it's bad now. It's like, it's like, all right,

she's in first. She's encouraging in football. This is a place she's just going to be for a while. She's dating a guy that's the one the most popular for a player is currently on the planet. I'm going to see her there. But it's like everywhere now. Like, it's like I can't not see her. And even on YouTube, even though I don't even look her up.

She's just encouraging on me. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Yeah. So it's pretty, it's pretty annoying when a musician you don't care for just kind of shows up everywhere, huh? Well, I don't hate her. I don't hate her. I don't, the thing is that you have imagined Dragon.

I think they're more listenable than she is. I disagree entirely, actually. I disagree with you. Allow me to continue. I've definitely heard Taylor Swift songs that are better than Imagine Dragon songs, like by a lot. And vice versa for me, yeah. No. I, that's it.

That is an interesting. No. I actually like this. This is a pretty good conversation because I'm not sure exactly how I feel about that. Because I really do think most of Imagine Dragon stuff is annoying. But I feel like the chorus of what's the one that we covered? Oh my God. What's it?

Radioactive. The chorus. No. The chorus to me at least sounds like something. It sounds like what I would call. Someone who understands how to write music, I guess. As far as that chorus goes, I have the problem with Taylor Swift that every time, and I really, I spent like an hour just skimming through her stuff. And there was on that new one, that one that's all kind of like has 80s vibes and it's all shoegasy and shit.

There was one, fuck, I can't even remember what it was called, but there was one thing on there that I'm like, I could maybe turn this into something. It's like the, I don't, fuck, I'm not going to remember what it's called, doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I have an open mind. But I will say, I don't have an open mind for Imagine Dragons. I will say that. I'm not going through the catalog. The thing to be, well, there, therein lies your answer right there, to be quite right.

And that's a good point. That is a very good point. I think, no, man, like, I, I don't, look, I don't think Taylor Swift can write, uh, lyrics, uh, worth a damn. Really? But now they can imagine Dragon, so that's beside the point. But, like, I don't know, like, I can look at the chord progression of, like, anti-hero and be like, that's a good chord progression.

I like that. Or, you know what I mean? The verse, I actually like the, my problem is the chorus in that song. It completely, the chorus is the hook, right? The hook is supposed to do what it's called, right? It's supposed to hook you in. The hook sucks my dick on that song compared to the verse, which is a really big problem with writing, in my opinion.

Because like the first it's like Dun dun da da da da da da da I'm like I like that But then I just hear You me Yeah And I'm like what the fuck is this bullshit What is this bullshit?

That song is fucking horrible I don't think the chord progression's good I think it's a bad song I think that's because you don't know what chord progression is Quite frankly But like I literally Okay continue Chris

I'm not gonna engage I do like the little I don't know It's like a classically trained musician grandmother I don't know what a chord progression Oh, you were raised by a classy? Oh, my God. I was raised by a fucking veteran,

so I guess I could kill you with my thumbs. Like, these don't translate my guy. Like, you didn't study music in the same way. You probably have heard about killing more than I have since you were raised by a fucking killer. You know I have it, Kingston. That's how that works. Kingsen, no, I've heard about Corbress is my whole life

because my grandma loves piano. I hate it. She tried to teach me, and I was like, I can't, you're a bad teacher. But I've heard about it. my whole life. I know what chords progressing. I've heard about it. I don't think. Oh, both, probably. But she's definitely

not a good teacher, though. So insane. She's like, oh, do this. Hold on. I want to cut you guys off real quick before. I want to continue this, but I do want to give some flowers to Kingston. Congratulations for finally getting your curtains. You look good.

The sun's not blinding you. Your position well. I'm going to open them next time. I'm open them next time. I'm open them next time. I'm let the fucking son right in and be. Yeah. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's so, yeah. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to fandango, my brightness

so well, I'm going to look white, like, in features, too. Yeah, that's, that's real good. I mean, yeah, you can, you can do that without opening the, the blinds or whatever you have. I mean, you just got regular curtains, right? The son's got to help me out with that. They make me look like a white person, not just white skin, like a white man. This dude is trying to look like Taylor Swift.

Like, you just want, like, you act like she's on mid, but you want to be her. I'm trying to look like Ryan Reddotes. I'm trying to have like blonde hair. Do you mean Ryan Gosling? Reynolds. He's a white man too, right? You don't have a blonde hair? He sort of has blonde hair, right?

No. I have blonde hair. That's the case. Though Kingston is, although Kingston is colorblind, that to be fair. Mine is not good. Oh, yeah, that is true. That is very true. I'm not going to die on that hill.

But like, I thought he had blonde hair. I can be wrong. Are you sure you just not? thinking of Ryan Gosseling? No, I know the difference between me. I know Gossling definitely has blonde hair, but I thought Ryan Reynolds had blonde hair as well. Casey, do you think I have blonde hair? You're jamming your favorite song, and while you aren't missing a beat, you could be missing a signal from your body. It's an SOS from your kidneys, and it doesn't sound like music at all. It's silent. High blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, and other risk factors can quietly stress the kidneys

leading to negative impacts on the heart. That's what you should ask your doctor about a simple urine test called UACR. Most missed the signal for hidden kidney disease and related heart risk. You shouldn't. Visit Detect thesos.com today to learn more. Well, no, but like, I don't know what I did.

I don't know what I did. No, but I feel like your hair isn't as dark, his hair isn't as dark as yours. Ryan Reynolds? Yeah. I don't know. I think it's like I always, right? I'm not, I'm not.

I'm gonna stop because I feel like I'm digging a hole Not confidently He's got my exact hair color, I think It's just dark brown It's just dark dark dark It's just dark brown hair Which I guess Which to be fair

To be fair brown hair is like I mean like when I was younger I was I did Like I was they They wrote my doctors and all that They would say like dirty blonde To describe me Like that's like something that Like when my hair is shorter

When my hair is shorter, when my hair is shorter, when my hair is shorter, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's blonder. I don't know why, I don't know what that is. It's like lighter. I don't know what the, I don't know what the fuck that means. Probably, yeah. But whatever, because when you shine light, if you shine light through brown, it's blondeish. Light brown. Kind of.

It's just like, uh, if the sun's directly in my eyes, if the sun's directly in my eyes, then they, they're amber. Right? Like, you know, like, there's dark brown. when you just see this, but then when the sun smacks me in the fucking face and if I take a picture and say, what did you just say, Amber?

Wait, what did you say? Amber, you said? Did you say Amber? Yes, like color amber. All right. The,

like the actual, the actual, what would you call it substance? What would I call that? I'm not, I'm the, the goo. I was like,

wait, when you, the, yeah, the, yeah, the, yeah, the,

yeah, Amber is, just look at fucking, Yeah. Just look at dark brown people's, people have dark brown eyes in the sun. It turns amber. Amber, that's yellow. That's yellow to me.

I'm looking at amber. Amber is not yellow. What the hell are you talking about? Amber's like darker than honey. Yeah, it's, it's actually pretty good representation. I'm looking up, I'm look, I'll say this. When you look up the color, amber. The color amber and the sub-amber are probably the same color.

Look at amber. No, no, yeah. Amber stone. Different. Type in Amber Stone. Like that is... Amber Stone. Yeah, this is much...

Oh, no, it's lighter than I thought it was. It's like slightly dark good and honey. I think it depends on the lighting. Like, like, say, when Amber is in the sun, it lights up and it gets brighter and looks less... But, like, amber is just like, just look at it. It's not fucking... It's not fucking... It's just like...

It's what you're describing. Essentially, that look at... Let's see, let's see. I'm going to... Let me put like... Let me put like... Let me put like brown. The reason I brought it up is because I'm just like amber.

It's like, what do you? It's like people's like, I prefer a fuchsia or like a vermilion. And it's like just say red and just say the fucking color. You know? Your eyes aren't amber. It's insane. I'll show you a picture right now, bitch. Why I say that because it is an accurate representation.

You know, it's not, I'm not trying to be cute. I don't do that. I'm not one of those people. It's just like this is an accurate representation. Yeah, I don't know. I just think that you. are culturally ignorant to everything

everything there is that is so wildly disrespect you're culturally ignorant to everything you've seen like five movies you fucking like you've you've

I've seen a free guy five times with Ryan Reynolds yeah so you've seen one movie my bad so you've seen one movie my apology my apology but this is what I'm talking about

Like when you see like some brown-ass shit in the sun, I feel like Amber's a good representation of what that looks like. If I'm pissing my hair too much, it turns brown. That's a good. Okay. Let's move on to Drake's penis. If I do it too much, like if I do it once and twice, it's good. But the third, fourth time, I got brown as fuck hair.

It's crazy. That's pretty cool. All the whites turn brown too. Congratulations. Congratulations on that discovery. I got really dark piss. I'm looking at this picture, by the way, of the, Derek just sent on Pinterest of amber eyes and it's fucking brown.

Your eyes are fucked. Your eyes are fucked too. You just don't realize it. The fact your eyes are that brown is that light colored is crazy Derek because mine are like fucking almost purple because we're also damaged. Almost purple. Almost purple. You can't possibly have purple eyes. What?

Some people have purple. My eyes are almost purple because of how damaged they are. They're like, fuck. What are you fucking? What are you, Frisa? Because I had, what are you talking about? I think, no, no, no. I think I was born with cataracts or like something similar to that.

Like, there was a, there was like a plaque buildup on my eyes when I was born. Because I was born a little early. I like how this fucking genius just refuses to do anything. He's probably damn. As he stares at the screen right now, he's just damaging his eyes. It's been damaged my whole life, whatever. I've made it this far and not die. What a fucking stupid

What a fucking What's talking about Drake's penis? What a survivor? You're not a survivor You're not a survivor You're not living What a What a fucking kingston

What a What a makeshift warrior? What a What a Kingsen you would have been dead long ago You know this guy What a What a fucking

You do not live What an emboldened hero What a fucking Kingston You don't live in a society You don't live in a society That requires Mightiness

to survive I made it this far based on having worse tools than everybody else. You know why? Because we have a government that doesn't let people destroy you. That's why. That's why. That's the only reason. It's like me.

Like, I would be dead probably. Because these eyes are not. These eyes are not. I'm hearing I'm getting W's Chris. Like I hear what you're saying, but I'm factually. You're getting lowercase W's is what you're getting. You're getting upside down.

People are packaging upside down M's and delivering to you. them to usws. You're not getting a real W. You don't have any people. You know any people who were fucking strong people and they died in train accidents like that? Who's still here? You know? Dude,

I've seen so many people. I've seen so many videos, by the way. What is it? What is it? Can I ask a question? Like a legitimate question? What is it?

And I mean this as respectfully as possible. What is it with Indians and dying on trains? I've seen so many. I've seen so many on Twitter because Twitter is. become, because Twitter has unfortunately just become live leak too. India. I've seen so many fucking videos of guys climbing trains

in India right, like hanging off the side and getting fucking split in half or fucking duped by fucking signs electrocuted. Like, a train how do I put it?

I feel like trains I feel like trains are too Indians what salt is the snails at this point like it's getting fucking ridiculous like it's crazy they sell Indian repell it it's just a fucking train it's just a train dude I'm sure there are some people in the in the audience who understand what I'm talking about who probably sharring it's really fucking jarring how many of those how many of those videos specifically are from India it's like the Russian dash cam footage how like it's always Russia we're like oh a satellite is

falling on a barn and this Toyota Corolla happens to find it. It's crazy. What's funny is in India, right? Often I see Indian videos where there are people, someone stuck on train tracks and they get the edits where they go and they punch the train away. Like they're defeating their natural enemy. Like it's the edits. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I've seen that video too. Often is people pushing away trades because I feel like trains are the Indians natural predator. I have seen it's like on TikTok They're natural predators It's crazy It's very weird

But anyway The only Indian train thing that I saw was And then you know we can go Is they were snatching phones They were on the You know what the bridge part They're like Oh yeah

Yeah part when it's like Goes over the bridge And they just fucking wait for people That are like on the sides of the trains Or whatever people that are sticking their they're outside of the windows and they snatch people stuff and apparently probably a lot of the people that are dying are those people too so I make sense yeah that makes sense yeah no it's it's wild out there anyway I should probably move on to uh this uh so yeah why is Drake trending

why is Drake trending oh um uh damn I didn't I wish I would I wish I would have even thought for at least 10 to 20 seconds of a something that was clever with what happened, but I didn't. But yeah, Drake's penises. Is it really him? So I don't know. I feel like it could be. Here's the weird thing. This isn't the first time.

This is a video. This is different. But I remember within the last couple years, there was a supposedly a leak of Drake's penis and it was fucking massive. and this is like a it almost seems like the internet got amnesia and because a lot of people are commenting on this like it's never happened before but I feel like Drake does a lot of dumb shit like busting in strippers or whatever escorts and shit and having kids that's not what happened for his kid situation how is that not what happened somebody popped a condom on him like I went to court about it and everything he went to court about it is someone broke a condom on him literally aren't he like somebody he's like he popped a condom on him literally aren't he like somebody he's like he popped a condom on him literally aren't he like he's something he's like he's he like he's he like he Isn't, aren't they like cool and they like they're, I mean, that's his child's mother. That's his child's mother. So he has to have some sort of respect. So he sued his mother?

She snaked him. He sued his child's mother? No. Are you sure you're getting your source is correct? Like no cap. She snaked him. She like, he like came. He got like six tests.

He was like, and he's sure that's my kid. And he was like, it's my kid. And he's like, well, I guess I got to take care of my son now. And that's it. I have to, I have to verify that. I don't, I have never heard that before. Did you never see the interview he did when he was on like that? Yeah, I know people can lie.

I definitely know that. Well, no, the interview he was on with him in like, I think it was LeBron. Was it sway? There's all those, the niggas sit down. Are you talking about that. Oh, he did that bar. Oh, that, yeah, his podcast, HBO thing or whatever. He was like, yeah, I had to get tested like six times because, you know, I wasn't fucking

raw dogging anyone and then some bitch snuck him. And now she's rich forever because that system is broken. That whole system is completely broken. Yeah I guess I don't have enough time to look into it But I wanted to see I want to try to verify if that was true

She's see if there's any sources What would I have to What would I put in? Chris Brown did that Chris Bounder did that Chris Bounderner to fuck strippers And got one pregnant And I was like you're so stupid

Chris Brown Now go be the real What would I put in to look that up? You said it was Damn I don't know I can't think of like I can't think of like

If I look it up Yeah and make sure it's not from fucking World News Dude dot geo Or fucking geo cities or some bullshit But yeah Drake it looks like If you haven't seen the video I mean it's trending on

They try to get rid of it on Twitter But it's just trending As Drake's Drake video And everybody's posted at this point So it's pretty much impossible to miss where he's just laying on his bed

and flapping his wiener around like he's one of those inflatable tubemen and people are deducing that he has a large weiner because I guess from the how far away it is like how it is it like it's in a reflection of a mirror or something like that

it must be pretty big because if he was just like turn the camera in a selfie mode and had it directly there it would look like a colossal fucking salami or something, I guess. And so good for him. Good for him.

He's just winning in all avenues the second most popular artist in the world. Got a big peepie. Canadian, I don't know if that's a win or not, but Universal Healthcare, I guess. But Canadian and black is a win, though. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it is very true because I don't think the Mounties are like stomping blacks with the moose. What do they do? I don't even know what they do.

Have you ever seen a moose in real life, dude? I've seen them in videos and think that, like, how are these things bigger than some trucks? Like, it's terrifying. A moose is so big, it's terrifying, dude. They're like beers and deers got on stilts. Mooses or meese or whatever the fuck? I have no idea. It's just moose.

It's not moose. It's literally just moose. It's probably mooses, let's see. It's just moose. I think it's a. Moose, two moose. Moose? One moose, two moose, three mees, two moose.

Moose, it's, it's, it's moose. It's not moose. It's right. That's first grade. That's fucking is that. That upsets the fuck out of me. First of all, first of all, there are no moose. It's not real.

Yeah, they're just people. There's a fucking fake-ass thing. No, it's just not real, man. Like, it's just like, it's all CG, all that shit. Like, you tell me a moose is real? What the fuck out of here? You're kidding. First of all, if moose, if moose were real, why would

Reindeer aren't real either, by the way. I love that we pretend like reindeer are real. It's fucking insane. We have deer. We see them. Those aren't them. So what the fuck are you doing? That's why they're called reindeer.

You know what reindeer are really? They're cantaloupe. They're not. Okay. That's a fruit, idiot. Let's move on. I'm right. He's right.

He's right. It's antelope. My apologies. You're right. My brain was so broken. You're right. You're right. My apologies.

I said the wrong thing. What I love about that is like that was so many. It was a series of misinformation going downhill. Going downhill. I literally got paralyzed. I couldn't speak. I was like, you were like, no, that's not what it's called.

That's not what it's called. I just picture them all in the wild rolling and shit with fucking antlers like this. And they're looking out of them and then booking it. And they're fast as fuck You can't track them with a camera Because they're so small and fat Oh man But yeah

Congratulations to Drake Yeah there's another conversation That should be had about The way we react to dudes Getting their dicks leaked versus women Because you know It's always A shameful and it's fucked up

And you shouldn't look at it and stuff When girl like the fapening for example But then when my boy Rickishay who's a wrestler, he gets leaked of him just banging his ass, and it's the funniest fucking thing ever. This dude's laying in a bed.

Of what? So, ricochet is a, is a wrestler. He's in the WWE right now. I know Ricochet is. Yeah, this guy's fucking amazing. Well,

no, he was, it was videos of himself. He was laying down in a bed banging his own ass with his finger. He's fucking going to town on himself. And, sick.

We all just laughed. But now I'll say, like Tony Storm, another wrestler. She got her shit leaked. It was a tragedy. Paige from WWE tragedy. That shit was, I'm sorry, that show was legendary for one reason. Because, hold on, I got to say this.

I got to say this. This is amazing. So there's a wrestling trio called New Day. There's three black gentlemen in the WWE. And one of them named Xavier Woods. He was texting with Paige. and this other guy named Tyler something he's not the WD anymore

and they were fucking doing three sums and shit all of her shit got leaked and you can see in a very video that dude the Tyler dudes like hitting her from behind

and then she fucking like hops on Xavier and you're like yo this is insane and there was a segment on the WBE that there's these two

Samoan brothers that are there the cousins The cousins from Robert Romanoids. Yeah, they're all in that same fucking family, but it's the sons of Rikishi. And they did a rap battle. It was a freestyle. And one of them mentioned that shit.

And it was the wild, because this is fucking TV for kids, essentially. And they kind of vaguely mention that sex tape. And I was like, there's no way that was proved. There's no, which actually kind of shocked me because I thought everything has to be, everything is so tightly scripted. but that was a fun time on the expense of this girl being humiliated. We were wrestling in the fucking early 80s and 90s. Not all of that was scripted.

No, no, I'm talking about now. This is moving forward, it's gone public because this was like 2017, I'm talking. Oh, really? Yeah, this was very recent. So it's why those things were. They got into the league recently. They got into them, the Federation recently, the twins.

Or sort of recently. I was aware of that maybe like 2020. They've been around for a while. They've been around probably since like 2014 or something. They used to be gay. Like they used to wear these loud colors and shit and they would dance and they'd be all smiling. And then everyone's like, that's fucking gay. And then they're like, all right, where's it's going to be our real selves was it's just Samoan hoodlums?

Just, you know, the ones that say the N-word every other sentence. Like, that's really them. What confuses me is that they look black. Rikishi, is Rikishi black? No, he's straight up Samoan. But, you know. He looks sort of black. They're just that, well, I think they just absorbed.

Like, they're, you know, like, you ever seen a long. Beach Samoan. You ever been in that area or Hawaiian gardens or anything? No. Okay. So if you go in those areas, they're all, they're essentially how Puerto Ricans get the inward pass over in New York. It's the same thing.

It's the exact same thing. Right. It's kind of, it's funny to me, but at the same, huh? So what's this guy's name? Which one? The guy that we were, the, the Samoan guy. Oh, the Samoan guy, so there's Rikishi and then his son's Jimmy J. Yeah, Rikis, Rikis, Rikis, H-I, S-H-I.

A Samoan guy named Rikishi is blacker than a black guy named Stewart. I'll put it that way. You know what I mean? Like, you know, Rikishi Fatu, Rikishi Fatu. Did he? And they're all massive. No, he's still around. I met him at one of the L-A-Colcons.

And he looks like a nigg. Like, like looking at him. him like I was like this is a black person he's the part black like I was looking at him in his I mean maybe at some part down the line maybe at some point down the line but they're all like they're all very with the exception of like the rock's parents uh they're usually very like let's keep it in the the the Polynesian culture you know they're very weird because it's like where the fuck the Rock's family's like because his mom the Rock's grandma was like the leader of all that shit after the husband died she was like

the main fucking like reiner of all the fucking like someone wrestling She was like the final boss and stuff she had like these metal legs and like robot like fucking spider And like mecca hiller? Yeah Oh yeah wife Mary black Mary black person married this black man American

Yeah yeah I'm down I guess I don't know I will say yeah like there's yeah because I remember even Do you remember when Chris had You okay Derek? Come Mike He's like sniffing his mic My mic smells like penicillin.

This is so weird. You know the smell of penicillin like off rip? Absolutely. Have you ever had like a moxacillin before? I have allergic to penicillin. I don't know what penicent smells like off the top bed at all. It's an extremely distinct smell. Like if you've ever had like an augmentin or anything like that, like these antibiotics and your piss smells like it too.

It's a strong, very distinct smell. and my mic smells like it and it's fucking distracting the shit to me. No, what I do is when I get an infection, I drink bleach. Yeah. I get sick of my eye well. How much of it? Three swallowed swigs, bro. Then I laid down for 19 hours and I'm good to go afterward.

Not by choice, right? I was laid down for 19 hours and suffer. And once my body's done working through it, I'm back in the game. Yeah, dude, the way You know, do you remember when Chris Evans got his nudes leaked? Do you remember that too? That was another, that was all right. I don't think I saw those.

I think I missed that. I mean, I didn't see them. But there is like a, fuck, I missed that one. There is a. Just look it up. Yeah, man. At this point, it's all funny. I think at this point, it's all funny.

I'm looking. I'm looking now. At this point, it's like, okay, like, Drake's video is trending on Twitter, but like, I'm supposed to care. when it like it happens to like an equivalently like rich like female celebrity like no way no chance in hell it's over the days of equality are over there's a weird

100 but gone degree of like of of anti-sexual sentiment when it comes to women we understand that but they make money off of this so like I don't know man it's so men but not as much so obviously not the same way you know whatever dude I understand what you're saying I just I also just like I cannot I cannot

this is a violation of privacy in the same exact way so like Well, I'm treating it in the same. I'm treating it the same way. The thing is that penis is getting leaked as funny. I think it's all funny. I don't think there's anything inherently funny or about one thing. I don't think it's exactly funny, but that's because I'm a man in the world where, like, you know, I'm part of the society we live in. So, like, it isn't as funny.

But a guy getting his dick leaked and it's just, it's just, even if it's like an impressive penis, it's still sort of silly and funny, you know? Like, Drake fucking kind of mixed, Drake mixing the air with his dick is kind of funny. me. He's like he's trying to stir something. But that's also just because we've seen that that's because we've also just seen every woman naked at this point. You know what I mean? You got like, like, realistically, like, I know what you all look like. Like, there's this like I've, there's an algorithm in my head that understands like, I know what you look like. And there's like so many celebrities too where it's like, oh, nude. Oh, nude pose. Oh, nude pose. It's like, okay, here's here's here's Kanye West's girlfriend who just doesn't wear clothes. Here's Miley Cyrus just. Just. not wearing clothes at the fucking Grammys and it's just like whatever. So like I don't Of course it's not funny when women get their newsleaks because we've seen them already. It's like a reprint or a rerun.

To me it's all the context. It's on the context. Like say that page wrestler. If it was just regular oh here's my tits, there's my pussy or whatever I'd like oh cool. But it was it was a lot of shit which made it funny. Oh she's fucking other

wrestlers. She, this guy, okay, so there's the, the, the, they're now considered sister companies, but it's kind of the B tier or like development brand NXT. So they had an NXT championship belt. And she has her face under, like she has her chin on top of the belt. And there's just come all over her face of the belt. And it's so fucking funny. That is crazy. It is, I laughed so hard when I saw that because.

It's just completely disrespect. Like, here's something that's supposed to be prestigious in that world that has come all over it. It's fucking amazing. And so, like, in that context. If something is prestigious in any context, it has gotten come on it, I think. Yeah. I think it's probably a rule. I mean, I would have come on my Grammy if I ever got one.

Yeah, like, if you got a Grammy, you wouldn't come on it. You wouldn't cake your Grammy and Come. You wouldn't cake your Emmy and Come. I would like right in the little circle, like in the little hole where. Literally never. When do you call those things again? I guess I'm the only one. Well, that's exactly.

Well, you know what, you know why? Kingston, because only the people who would win these awards would do it. Like, if you wouldn't come on your Grammy, you're just not going to get your Grammy, dude. You're not worth getting one. You're not going to get it. You're not even, yeah, you're not even in the conversation. You're not even the right fucking ballpark. Get out of your loser.

You're not going to bust fat loads on your Grammy. They really protected. I try to just Google it real fast. and I was scrolling down couldn't find it which also tells you a lot that how dudes don't give a fuck about archiving that shit compared to

if like if Sidney's Sweeney's pussy leaked right now there would be like the top websites like what's that one that I we talked to Mr. Skin like it would be there immediately right it would probably or maybe not because I'm not specifically

for movies or some shit but you know what I mean It would be archived immediately. I'm having trouble finding it, which is actually kind of funny. It does not make me happy the fact that, like, if someone sent you a pussy picture, it would be like, gay, I'd be like, oh, cool. Send me tits. Don't send me pussy pics.

Like, what are you doing? It does send me pussy pics. I've seen enough tits. I like it, like, I don't, that's, to me, that's like an insane. That's like, I've eaten enough pizza. I've played enough video games. I just like they don't do they don't they're not I think a fat man can have them I'm not interested you know what I mean?

It's time for you to so you're not interested in women's lips because men have them Not exclusively or particularly no like I think it's nice like I would prefer a woman I would prefer a woman I would prefer a woman with lips as opposed to a lipless woman for sure That is definitely not the argument It's definitely not the argument. I'm saying because a man can have them all of a sudden that's uninteresting, I just find that like kind of kind of. I wouldn't care to get a photo of it.

No, I'm just saying like I wouldn't, I wouldn't, if I got a photo, dude, if you got a photo of a woman's lips fair, you're telling me you're going to be like, you're, you're straw manning. You're straw manning again. How are you straw manning again in like, within 10 seconds? That's not the argument. That is not the argument. What's the argument?

The argument, you're making the argument that you would jerk off to a woman's lips. That's what you're saying. That's what you're saying. Listen to your third stromid. He's going for the record,

ladies and gentlemen. He's going for the grand slam of fucking stromid. Nah, look at, hey, fair enough, I will just say you're just not as sexually active

as, I would say, the average man. Or not, not horny. That's the way, that's what I mean. Not sexy active.

You don't know the average man. The average man wants his old. average, bro. The average man is fucking disgusting. Let's be real. Let's be real. The average fucking, like, guy that has come shooting out of his eyes because he's so horny.

He's, like, just leaking, like, come out of his ears. He's, like, so horny. This is, this is cum dripping out of all of his orvices. When I, you just, people like that. Like, when I, like, when, because we don't, you don't meet them in everyday live. When, like, you impasse somebody that's so fucking, like, horny that is just like, what is up? Do you like, what?

It's just, bro, we got. We got this biology that wants semen to be released all the time, and it makes these people insane because they're not to control it. They've never practiced self-control. I can be sitting down and be like, oh, I could bust, but I'm fine. You know what I mean? Like, I could bust. Like, you have the urge surfaces because the way your biology works.

And I'm like, I can bust, but like, I'm good. I'm like, you know, I'm fine. I love the idea. I love the idea of somebody just. calmly, just calmly like they're doing a crossword puzzle and they just think, like a bus right now, I think. I can't come right now. I don't, I don't you mean. I don't think it's, no, I think what I'm saying is like, I just, they're just so over it.

It's the, it's the thing that's everywhere. It's like I kind of see it all the time. They're under every single tweet of mine now. It's, it's, I don't know. Like there's something about like I, it's not that I don't appreciate it. Like I can look at like a nice, you know, a nice pair and be like, that's nice. I like to see this. Sure.

But it's not, it's not going to excite me really in any real way. It doesn't need to. It's just an appreciation. It's literally like a, it's like a, right, right. And then then you kind of. But the context and the context that we started this conversation was like receiving a picture. You know what I mean? where it's like, I'll appreciate it, take pick, I guess.

It's not really gonna, I don't know. I could move on with my day and not even. I get that. I get that. It's crazy, crazy thing I talked about. So I was talking like when a bunch of my other guy friends, right, and they were talking about like how often they like they come a week, like how often they fucking bust another week, right?

Uh-huh. I told them, I'm like, oh, like maybe like twice, three times a week is like a good range for me. And apparently I'm way off the market. in which way the average guy is like once to twice a day apparently yeah really

yeah I think especially if you want longevity and yeah and also if you want to know this is like real shit if you want to have a really low chance or what's the word I'm looking for you want to help reduce

the chances of you ever getting prostate cancer cleaning out your pipes regularly is very important But I feel like every other day to like I feel like that's fine for prostate health That's fine No, it is but if you want to increase If you want to drastically increase the risk Once a day would probably be the most healthiest

You don't have to do it every day I'm just saying it's just I was like you do it like That's not even a lot though We were younger We were addicts and we had no control of who we were But once a day is not even a lot I feel like that's kind of like

That's a lot I'm beating a day. Do you remember what we were talking about? Do you remember what we were talking? There were a couple episodes ago where we were talking about how Kingston is a 78 year old man. And this is one of those instances. Once a day is, once a day is so normal when you're not 80.

I feel like it's very normal. I feel like once a day was a thing I would do when I was young. Like when I was when I was like, when you were young it was once a day? Dude. No, no, no, no. This guy's libido is fucked. No, no, no.

You're flat. When I was, let's say like, so, for instance, right, when I was, when I was like 16 years old, right, I would always have, like, basketball and then, like, whatever, like, honors, bullshit or interaction I'd have, right? On Saturdays, I would beat my dick the whole day if I was single. That would just be my whole, like, afternoon. Like, if I was, like, if I was, like, single and I'd have any girls I was talking to and I wasn't, like, doing anything. I wasn't being forced to go to church or something stupid. I would go from like 9 a.m. to 12 me and my dick all day to the point

and my dick was just not responsive. And then as I got old there was You fucking ruined your penis. I think I think You probably did. You probably twisted into a pretzel knot or something. And you fucked yourself up. I think my libido shot to protect my genitals.

I think that's what happened. I think my libido got fucked up because it's like, yo, if you don't get him to not like this, he's going to break us. If you're doing it that much, I mean, shit. Yeah. I mean, I never went crazy.

That's not uncommon, though, right? I feel like every young person beat their dick too much. Not that much, no. I never. Not the whole fucking day. Me would probably be like three times maximum, but like three times a day. I'd be like three times maximum, maximum when I was like young when I was in like high school. I definitely beat my dick over 10 times within the span of three, four hours.

That's really impressive. That's insane. It hurts too much, bro. After a while. just too sore. Like, it's not even enjoyable. It was pain. So why keep doing it? It took like, because I was like, might as well. I'm this far in.

After three. I feel like, I feel like after three a day, it's like, you're getting into territory where it's like, this is young me when you can regenerate still. There's not. No, no, no, no, no, no. You're not misunderstanding me. I don't think it, I don't think that plays a part in it at all. I think even if you were like 17, after

three in a fucking row in like, an hour, you're, it's, it hurts. It's going to hurt. It's, it's, it's, it's pain. It's punishment. It definitely, it's, it's punishment. Definitely numbed. So what are you doing? What are you doing to like, numbed up? Then it's, they're numbed up. It was just like, that's an addiction at that point. Then from pins and needles to pain. Did you screw yourself? You, you, like, you, like, I can't be the only person I did this. You might have done, nerve damage. No, you're clearly not.

I actually know somebody, one of my closest friends. Sometimes my friends gossip like fucking little fucking girls do, and they'll say shit that like nobody asked. And he's like, oh, did you know that so-and-so fucking, like, used to beat his dick like nine times a day? And I'm like, first of all, why the fuck would you, like, if I'm my homie, that actually does that, why would you tell anybody that? That's not like, that's not a, it's such an high number that it's something that I'd want to

keep to myself, like, just being self-aware. They're like, I don't want people to think of fucking crazy. And so he told, and then of course, my friend had to tell me, you know, the other one that learned about it, he had to. And I'm like, I wish I didn't know that, but I do know. And now I want to laugh at him, but I'm not supposed to know, right? So it's just one of those things. I'm not supposed to know this motherfucker's, like, beats his dick like a monster.

And I'm talking about, I think it was, like, adult shit, not even kid shit. Like, and I'm like, I just don't. He was doing that? Yeah. And I don't know how. How? I just don't... So hoover, bro. Like, I one time, one time, this was years and years ago,

but I, like, I smashed this one chick for, like, three hours. And the shorts rubbing against my shit hurt. And I'm, and there was a never again scenario. That was a never again because it's not like, oh, we paste ourselves within three hours. You know, you can space things out and you keep having quickies and whatnot. Now, this was just like bullshit. like we're marathoning and that was the worst fucking thing

ever. Anyone ever tells you that shit was, I think our audience knows our audience aren't sex fiends. I don't think we have any like super freak-up. So I don't think anybody else like that is even wants to do that. Anyone's listening? They're probably like yeah, that sounds awful. And yeah,

you're right. I don't know. But that's maybe you want to get your shit check. You want to get your eyes checked out and you want to get you want to see a urologist too and just make sure that you're good I don't know man because if you don't have any six minutes to get an erection bro

it's fucking fine I'm fine I'm fine it's because of size and blood flow bro it's both of them to have back that's so funny that is outrageous

just sitting there just in a get hard did you guys know a cock ring helps you keep your dick hard Yeah That's the whole point I think So I didn't

So I didn't I'm not like I don't I'm not really into like sex toys and stuff I didn't even know I actually never thought about what it was for Until my roommate a few years back Said like yeah this shit rules And I

My mind was like Yeah I take a Viagra I take a rhino pill I put my cock ring on And then I'm good to go bro I'm good to fucking go I'm fucking

They can see your dick pulsing from space Have you ever Have you ever taken a Have you ever taken a Rino pill? No Not yet One time

I thought it was a vitamin I thought it was a fucking vitamin I thought it was a vitamin So I took it No you did I'm not even joking I'm not even joking I thought it was like here's a

I thought it was I thought it was Here's a rhino vitamin It's going to make you feel Like a rhino Because it's a vitamin It's gonna turn me

To the rhino From Marvel Spiderman Did you have sex at least So you just get a fucking wild boner and beat your dick and go to bed. No, I took it at like 1 p.m. when I went out for coffee and I just had to sit there until it went away. Yeah. You just sit there quiet. Like after everybody left the table, you're like, all right, later guys.

Yeah. Yeah. You remember how it's like school when like the other bell, the bell would ring and then you would sit there for an extra 30 seconds? No, I didn't do that. I didn't do that. That wasn't me. Yeah, you told me if you were to fucking walk around with fucking boners like a fucking psychop. You just got to be proud

It's a gremlin. Fucking Derek is a gremlin in school. That's nothing. I know we're Recycling. You're right. That's what I'm saying. I know recycling,

but there's probably new listeners. I don't think you should be ashamed of your, like if women can fucking have the hardest nips and just act like casually just have the piercing. I think they should be ashamed too. I think I think you should rub their faces. I think when women have hard nipples, you should rub their faces in them.

Like a dog in piss. Look what you did, stupid. What if they have small breasts? How do you do it? Then you break the neck until it works. He fucking snap their neck down and rolled their head. Oh, man. It's not enough shame, you know?

Fucking outrageous. I, no, I think, I think, I think we got to be like Europe. We got to be like Europe, bro. And stop fucking acting like sex is like the, and nudity is like the crazyish. shit where they can actually have nude beaches and there's only like five perverts versus half of the beach would be perverts if there's a new beach here.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, I know. Yeah, exactly. The thing is this, right? It's fine. You shouldn't walk around crowning though. That's a bit ridiculous. It's, well, it's rare, right? It's just one of those things where it's like, guys, I fell asleep. I have morning wood after my nap. It'll go away

in about, I don't know, 40 seconds or something. It doesn't take for... You get morning what after... You get morning what after naps? Yes. Yeah, you fall asleep in school. I get morning what after like waking up from sleeping.

I don't get morning wood after... Do you know why morning what even happens? And I wake up, fucking hard. Kingson, you never need to see someone. Yeah, you really do need to see someone. I don't wake up hard as shit. I feel like...

I feel like I feel like I've just getting control of my penis. It's the idea of getting... relaxed actually, like your body relaxing and this naturally happening. You can sit in an extremely comfortable chair and start getting sleepy and you can fucking start to get erected. It has nothing to do with sexuality. It has just your natural body functioning that way. That's why when you're sleeping, you're not fucking, I'm not having a dream where I'm railing

some bitch. It just happens. And so, uh, clearly clearly. Yeah, we're, I'm going to book your, what's your, what's your, what's your medical insurance and your ID number? I'm going to book a urologist for you. Let me put in the chat Your dick has not been functional for six years

Dude what are you doing? I'm like what What you have to have it fell off bro What are you doing man I'm gonna have to have a talk with Lily about this I'm gonna interview her about your fucking dysfunctioning penis I don't understand I don't understand is come not supposed to be red What do you

It's come not supposed to be cold orange Like the fucking mountain dude It's not supposed to be orange like mountain dude You're kidding me right It's not supposed to is? It's crazy. You say he knows a shoot,

come not ooze it out. Can you imagine? Can you imagine for real? Casey, can you imagine for real drinking a cup of carbonated come? It's a lot of seas. That's a cup of my

cup of carbonated cup. One of my friends showed me a picture she got sent. A clear cup. Of carbonated cum. The guy's dick was coming and had bubbles in it. That's,

that's so bad. I don't even know how that would happen. It was bubbles in it Was he coming on the surface of Mars Or the surface of Venus I mean Like that's crazy That

Yeah I don't know How what's going on All right we got we gotta we gotta talk Does he have bicarbon it in his dick Is that what does it? Maybe he has too much of it in his system Isn't a isn't the the The gallbladder that makes that shit

Maybe he just has like too much trying to expel it into his bladder. I don't know. Oh, man. His come is a fizzy drink, like the fucking Brits say. Yeah, yeah, this dude, he's going to get checked out too, man. I feel like that is definitely, if I had carbonated or bubbly cum, for sure I'm seeing the doctor immediately. Because that's, that's a little weird.

I don't want to, but I'd be too scared. I'm like, Doc, what's wrong? I'm like, I'm not scared of waiting until it turns to. into something crazy. I'm the opposite. Like, I, I, I don't want to wait for, you know, me to be suffering forever. Like, that's the, I mean, I'd probably, I'd probably be one of the people that would jump off a bridge. If I, if I was like, you're going to live in constant agony. I'm like, no, I'm good. I don't want that. Yeah. It's like that guy who, like, uh, he had, like radiation sickness from like Chernobyl or something and they kept him alive for like 12

weeks or something. Christ. Even though he was just like, let me die. My skin is melting. Please kill me. You're just like, nah, man. We must study. Have you seen those stupid videos like the people like having the thing in the radioactive isotope inside of something and they open it for a second. Everybody looks around it like, oh, oh. And it's so fucking sad.

But funny. They're like, no. That's so fucked up. And it's so fucking. That really is crazy how like just being around it. It's really sad. This is like, yo, you guys all are going to die. It is.

You're all going to die now. That anything like that exists at all is crazy. Because it's one thing like fire or like, you know, like some element that will kill you in like some semblance of a quick time. Even a slow time. Like, I don't know, like you freeze to death in like an igloo and it or like in an ice cave and it takes like maybe like, I don't know, several hours, you know. But like you just exist around this thing. and then somebody opens the lid and then in three weeks you will die.

Like from that moment, from that moment you are slowly gone. Like you're slowly erased from the planet. That is so fucking crazy to me. That's real. It really happens the way it does too. It's like insane. It really makes you think.

You get radiation poisoning and literally it's just your body having too much of a certain charge and it starts to, the bonds start to fall apart between your atoms. That's fucking insane. sane that that's how that works and you're like that sounds like magic that's like somebody

cast disintegrate on me it's like what the fuck is going on if you did like a time lapse if you did like a time lapse of it if you did like a time lapse of it like one photo a day it would be like a solid animation of somebody just like deteriorating it's fucking great what were you gonna say uh Derek you said it's wild to think about no I was just going to say some disrespectful to her I was just gonna say something, you know, this is gonna be disrespect for religious people, that's all. It wasn't anything that important.

Stop. Okay, yeah, yeah, right. It's standard. Yeah, it was just, it was just like, oh, hey, look at all this awesome stuff that God made. That's shit rules.

It is crazy that the sun gives you, it is crazy that the sun gives you cancer, like, the nighttime will give you hypothermia, all the shit. And if you were like, wow, we're in the best possible place

that caters to all. It's like, that was actually my problem, I think, with Avatar. We're like Avatar, like the James Cameron movie Because they were like The whole message was like

Oh, the earth provides And it's like that one does Like that or Pandora, yeah Pandora provides like crazy Earth wants you dead I mean I mean I'm trying to kill you Earth provides

Not like Pandora man If we did our Earth was like Pandora We would not treat it like that Like we just wouldn't Yeah the fucking would We do the same shit No, he wouldn't. No, he wouldn't. We would evolve down the same line.

We would pilfer all the fucking shit. We'd frack the fuck out of the floating mountain. We would do the same fucking shit. No, we wouldn't because there would be no reason. It would just be slightly different. The whole reason we frack is because getting anything out of this planet is possible. But it's so fucking inconvenient. You got a till, you got a toil, you got a fucking plant, you got to wait.

In Pandora, you put your head, you stick your head, Kingston. Imagine you sticking your hair into a plant and then just getting food for free out of a tree. Like, what is? That's what Pandora is. It's crazy. Chris, you would eventually start doing that. Give me a 5,000 year time lapse of the fucking Pandora,

and there's going to be buildings and shit and fucking smog being created because they're fucking making some sort. It is how, I don't think you would because there's no necessity. There's no hostility in the environment. But the thing is this, people will get smarter. They'll find different ways to be able to innovate,

and those innovations may very well take. But Kingsen, people get smarter out of necessity. People get smarter out of necessity. It's why fucking insects haven't gotten smarter. Well, no. Insects aren't, insects are different. They don't have the luck on a double tree table. Those blue cat motherfuckers, I put money.

If you gave a time lapse of that planet, even independent of humans' existence, they still chop down trees to make weapons. They still make shelter using the fucking, using parts of the world they live. They will eventually do that shit. Maybe not to the same vapid degree that we do it to this earth. I just don't think they would start developing and stuff like that. That's the nature of how evolution works, man. They'll do it.

I don't think for that. I think the nature of evolution is to make the environment more convenient for survival. But like that's kind of impossible on Pandora because food falls out of plants without any planting necessary. It's already- It's not even like we had to genetically modify our fruits just so we could eat them without without being completely fucking encumbered. You know what I mean?

And Pandora, it's like, oh, imagine if you could put you, oh, let me put my hair into this tree real quick and then I get a fucking burger. It's like, it's ridiculous. There's no necessity. There's no drive to innovate because there's nothing left to be done. There will be, they will innovate. That's how it works.

They're too smart to not do. No, you're saying, you're saying that's how it works, but it's just like, say, the places in Earth. They're still predator. They're still predators on that planet, right? Yeah, and they have weapons to kill them. That's what, and they're good now. Yes.

But then one guy's only like, we need a weapon. I can make a better weapon to kill them. Except there's barely even predators there because you could just stick your hair into them and then turn them into a friend of yours. It's like it's ridiculous. Like I understand what you're saying, but you're coming at it from the perspective of Earth and all of its hostilities. The sun gives you cancer.

The night gives you hypothermia. The deserts will kill you. The tunders will kill you. you. The rainforest will kill you. The bugs in the rainforest will kill you. There's really very few places that are hospitable for human life that are not explicitly demanding of really intense shelter. And that's just not the case on Pandora. Pandora is like a perfect utopia where everything is provided for you. So like of course you're going to feel bad when like the humans come and fucking try to steal some stupid ore that's completely unnecessary because like, hey, they don't need it.

Nobody needs this. But we don't have Pandora. We have shitty earth. that does all sorts of bullshit to you constantly. We have, oh, you're pissing in a river? Oh, guess what? A fish is going to swim up the P stream into your urethra and kill you. This is a very hostile place. The earth is fucking wild, dude. It's a fucking, I mean, the idea.

I feel like, I feel like very honestly, humans are just aliens. I feel like life in general on this planet is just alien. I feel like we're not meant to be here. I feel like something fell here and it was like, I can figure it out and it kept it going. That is a theory. I think I've heard that theory before where it's like this. Was it like an asteroid?

Have you heard of the Tiamar theory? Yeah. What is that? The TMA theory is that also apparently, I'm not a scientist, let you guys know very early in this before I make a mistake. And somebody's like,

that fucking black idiot I hate. The guy who thought, The guy who thought cantaloupe was an animal is not a scientist, guys. Yeah. I mixed up the word. Antelope, cantalope. They're quite similar. But what to go?

Apparently there was this planet was the planet Tiamat at first. And Tiamat consisted of what is now the moon. Mars was, I think Mars was one of our moons previously. Uh-oh. apparently It is amazing how quickly I know it's I don't believe I don't believe it I want to hear this

I don't believe it but it's just what's the gist of this I want to hear this pretty much that what you call we got struck by another heavenly body it fractured us it sent us it's fractured what was that huge planet into now Earth plus the moon

and then the Mars is one of our fucking moon's prior previous to that and that's why there's going to be architecture in our world that is much older than any possible human civilization because it's from the Tiamat civilization is not ours. Isn't it more likely? I feel like it's more likely that our understanding.

I'm not agree with it. No, what I'm saying is like let's assume like we found, because we have found structures that are older than humans could possibly. Like the current account for human history is like it doesn't account for how old certain structures are. And that's interesting. But I feel like it's more likely that we just have a. misunderstanding of human history than that Mars was here.

It's actually within the communities of people that study stuff like that, like paleontologists and stuff that are always trying to like carbon date shit and whatnot. There's politics just like anywhere else where there's people who don't want to give up, quote unquote, discoveries they've made or they don't want to strip accolades that certain people made because first of all, it's a lot of chaos, it's a lot of revision. I was just talking about this within the UFC or MMA in general where there needs to be certain weight classes

that clearly, like, it does this jump from 155 to 170 and then it goes to 185 and there's this weird gap that fucks a lot of people that fight within that range where it just needs to go 165, 175. But it's just going to fuck everything up if they fix that. So in the same way, they have found artifacts, they have found structures, they have found so much stuff,

they have found humans that are infinitely older than 250, to 200,000 years old, and they're just like, uh, fuck. And not doing anything about it really. It's pretty wildly known that, like, yeah, they're completely wrong about that shit. And the humans are much older. I saw this thing where it's like they found like a small city under the Amazon.

And they used like this thing called a, LADAR? It's like laser radar or something. Yeah, so they didn't have to They didn't have to tear down the Amazon rainforest To find it, they could just like scan And it's just like there's this huge fucking Ancient city under the fucking Amazon That doesn't make sense

And it's crazy because like explorers who went to that area Like a long time ago talked about like Oh yeah, there's a city here And when they went back to discover it It was all gone so they just assumed it was like fake Or like like just fantasy but it's like it's really there

so that's interesting and I know there's like controversy around that fucking that guy who what is it he had that show ancient something he talks about this stuff and some of it's a little bit

looney tunes but like I think it's I don't know it makes sense to me like if they keep finding shit it's like oh hey here's this fucking arrowhead that has a drill hole in it from like oh right

like something really 30,000 you know some crazy amount of time ago it's like that's worth that's fucking crazy yeah they have ancient computers actually too the way that like you know they understood computers

like these analog things it's like these things that they they did things not like an actual electronic computer the way we understand it but they had like they had machines and certain type of artifacts and tools that

pretty much any type of expert is like what how and which comes to the question Oh, we're, it's just like the pyramids Where people think, oh, aliens made it because of the you know The advanced blah blah. It's like no, we just simply don't understand it fully They have a way better understanding now

There's actually some really good theories now But there's still just plausible theories and not just the complete understanding of this is absolutely 100% on it's made And the fact that there are pyramids in North America bother the fuck out of me, bro Can I say something about that? That shit bothers me to my core Can I say something about the can I say something about the can I say something about the the the great pyramids Oh here we go

I don't understand What is so difficult to understand about it They stacked bricks in a triangle Yeah There you go I just solved I just solved the mystery The pyramid

The pyramids That's confusing Like the sphinxes and shit like that Nothing else do it Because what happened What happened literally Is that white folk came there They were like

We can't do this yet How did these savages do it That's pretty much what they thought That's why it's so confused. They were like, we can't do this yet. We're perfect. How did these things do this? That's all it is. The thing about it, the thing about it that I think is so funny where it's like, because they look at it from like a modern lens where it's like it would take so long to do this. It's like, how do they do this? And it's like, slaves. That's how they did it. They threw people at it until they died and they didn't care that they died doing it. And then they kept getting more people to throw at it until it was done. That's how they did it. Not so much the slave thing. It's like, I. Obviously slaves did it. Yes, 100%. It's like, do you remember how they built?

People that found it, the people that found it weren't capable of doing it themselves yet. So they were confused. They were like, if they had the power of slavery. We're traveling. We're so smart. We're able to do all these things. How did these people do it? That they're so below them.

Other amazing structures like the Sistine Chapel or anything like that that was built, they had something that was better. Or churches that were built in Europe, they had better than slaves. They had devoted freaks that felt like God was calling them to do this. And I don't want to get into the whole slave thing because there's people that argue even about that as far as were they actually slaves? They wanted to do it. Not like they wanted to do it, but it was actually a fucking job.

Like this is you will get shelter in this. Yeah, right. Like not like you got paid money, but it's like, it's like, it's like, it's. It's one of these things were... They were granted shelter, Derek. You don't have a person like they were granted shelter. And it's like, dude, stop. Look, I just don't want to, I just don't want to be...

I don't want to pretend like I'm an expert in any field, any way, shape, or form. Like, I know this for sure. That's just basically, like, I don't want to... I don't want to be caught slipping like we, you know, usually do it every episode. Where somebody's always like, well, well, actually... Actually got this fucking guy. It wasn't even a correction. and it was only one guy though

he's like yo crack a bottle is fucking ass I was like damn dude I was like damn but it was just one person dick that song sucks dick except for 50s part

50s part is really good does it though it's a if you even um so they made a music video for retroactively and they're not in it but it's a really cool music video and it was uploaded like

a little over a year ago and the entire comment section is just what I've been echoing. That they're like, this is a highly... Obviously, most of the people in a comment section of a video is going to be... That is not true at all. That is not even true.

What I'm saying specifically... For music, it's often not that terrible. Right, but that's not even what I'm saying. What I'm saying is specifically, it's not they're just saying, oh, I like this song. It's, wow, highly underrated. Like, there is people that are echoing, echoing the same sentiment saying that this was one of those bangers, it was a diamond in the rough, right? Because

everybody knows that later's albums were fucking ass, but then you can still put out one or two good tracks. There was a lot of people that liked that fucking song that sounded like old Eminemua, we made you, it was the same type of vibe where it was like, yeah, I'm just going to be goofy and wacky and shit.

Like it had that same, you know, you remember that stupid ass song, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it had the chick singing in the chorus. Can I... Something? Bring this back to what we were talking about before a little bit Because you brought up the Sistine Chapel

Like that's also some great achievement Um Like this out There you go That's what it is That's it. That's phenomenal I just did that in like

I just in five seconds And that's like already like 20% of the way there So like I just I don't get it I just don't I don't I don't respect that much You know what's funny That probably is the base

of what is actually what what is under the actual painting itself if you like erase if you like erase the layers you would just you just find this eventually that would be crazy all right let's get into questions

we even meandering around for a while respect Christians at all but that's crazy it's crazy all right to Roland Thunder wrote in he says hello you lovely stars my question is if there is any little thing you guys do in real life that you got from

video games. For me, whenever I pick anything up, when I pick up anything handheld at work, I inspect it like the first time pickup of a new gun in an FPS. That's funny. The idea of just like... That's tism.

That is tism. That is definitely tism. I'm sure there's something, though. Like, I'm sure I've picked up something, some weird mannerism from a video game that I'm not entirely acutely aware of. but it's uh i don't know if i got one i don't know i don't know oh yeah i definitely have one it's

what it's relatively the same as far as not inspecting anything but if i find something that i've been looking for or something like say my my earbuds like these fucking things will sometimes just walk off somewhere and then i'll find it and the first thing that naturally comes is a shepherd what you a lot of times when shepherd from mass effect would pick up some ammo he'll go nice. And like it just, I say it automatically. I just go, nice. Like, I'm not even trying.

I do that too, but it's, it's, it's the, it's the, almost the same thing, but, because I've been playing Gears of War, I'm playing Gears of War forever, but like every night, like, yeah. He'll say nice, too, he'll go, nice. You know, like, it's, it's, it's so stupid. But I think that. Every time I, every time I pick something off the ground, I think that. I don't do it, but I think it.

Nice. That is so true. Like, there is even nice. Like, when you, when you reload perfectly, too? Yeah. Nice. Sweet. Or, I like when you fuck out, I like when you fuck out the reload.

Ah, come on! He starts fucking smacking it. Yes. Well, I mean, those, well, we did a whole, we're going to do a whole sacred symbols. I was going to be coming everywhere. Yeah, we should at least mention that. We should at least mention it. We'll mention it.

There's plenty of people more suited to talk about this stuff with going far more in death. But like that shit is fucking crazy. And I hope it happens. But for me, whenever, whenever I, so whenever I pick up something that can be used as a weapon, I inspect it. Whenever, like it's like, it's the same thing. Like, it's like when I pick up a knife, I'm like, yeah. I do a little flare. I do a little stab at the air.

I'm like, all right. Do a little stab at the air? Like right before you're cooking, you just, mm-hmm. And then you start chopping your onions or whatever. And I stab really twice. And I'm like, right, and I put it away. Nice.

Why, Kingston? Why you stab me? And then just piss starts leaking out of her. You just start you stabbered and just piss is just leaking all out of her. Okay, why? Why is it? That'd be crazy. Sometimes I will.

Sometimes I will. places your blood. Hey what? He becomes so piss-coded, pissed-coded, piss-fuscated temple. Sometimes I think about, I don't know, was it Tekken,

was it the early Tekans or? Oh, I just realized I bought Tekken A, but I didn't download it. Was it the early Tekins that had, like, when you would die or when you would lose the fight,

it would do the triple echo? You know? Ooh, ooh, ooh. That's Street Fighter definitely No, but I think they would do The replay and that's it I don't know they would do the triple No, they would do a triple

There was a triple It depended on what it was Like I think if it was a If you got a counter Or something there was a stipulation Just like if you If you both If both lives

If you had like a little less than 10% HP both of you And if you beat the person The announcer says great because it's anyone's game right like pretty much any any punch will take like about 10% and so it's like who's gonna win and then if you win it'll go great and then the triple thing was I think if you just did a actual super move if I if there's a stipulation for it to do the triple thing but you're right tech and three yeah so I know street fighter you do the echo you're like

ooh ooh oh oh oh that's guy oh oh that was guile I remember specifically I remember specifically and I don't remember why I remember this so vividly but it's like, ugh, uh, and it's just like, I think it was like, I think it was like fucking like Yoshimitsu dying in Tekken 2,

I swear, or something like that. But it's been buried in my mind ever since. So every time I see somebody like, every time somebody gets knocked, if I'm watching a fight or like even just like a fight compilation and somebody gets knocked out, I think of that sound.

So whoever is that voice has permanently impacted the way I view people failing. Now I got to hear every death. than Tekken, see who you're referring to. Yeah, it might not be teken, though. That's the thing it's like... Oh, it might not be texan? It sounds like it's Tekken, though. I feel like it's Tekken.

I feel like that's the game that I played the most, fighting-wise, and it's the one that I committed most to memory, so it would be weird for some random thing for, like, Marl versus Capcom or Street Fighter to stick with me more than Tekon. And I think it's the only one that has that triple thing. I think you're definitely right.

Really? You can't think of any other... I can think about any other fighting game that has the triple thing. I think the best. Death sound? The Tekken, I feel like now has replays now. Well, it's all,

Replays. That's always had replays. But it's like when you actually kill them, there's like a boom, boom, boom. It would just be, yeah, this three in a row. I know three had it for sure because I actually didn't play that much Tekken 2. The first two Tekins, I played a little bit. And three was the one that I just, I was completely consumed in. And I remember the triple thing and a lot of things.

I just, that fucking announcer guy. I love that dude. It's the way he would say certain people's names like Mokajin, you go Mokajin. Like he said it in a weird, like not even the way that, you know, the period is like, it would be like Mokogen. But no, he says in a way where it starts going up, he's like Mokajin. And I'm like, I like, I played two more, but like as I remember, Yosci Mitsu. That game is crazy.

Hibon Tzu is crazy. Fucking out of pocket. I've heard a lot about how insane it is. I'll get to it. I'll get to it eventually. There's a moment. There's moments, right? Because Tekon is the only fighting game this happens in, right? For some reason in Tekken, everyone speaks their native tongue, but everyone understands everyone else. Yeah, yeah. I love that.

I love that. I love that. There's moments where, like, I forgot the boxer name, uh, Jeff, whatever his name is, Jack, whatever's name is. He's talking to King and King is roaring in response back to him. And it's the most insane shit ever. It's like we got to get past these guys. King's like, and I'm like King, no one has ever talked about that.

He really does just roar. And what's crazy is that King. I love it. In the third one is a guy that was a regular dude in the second one. So all of a sudden he just loses his language and starts to roaring when he puts the mask. And I'm like, what is this? Yeah. It's like it's completely k-fabe.

It's one of those things like wrestling where they won't break character no fucking matter what. Like that's all it was back in the day. They just always. Cosplaying a Jamaican person for fucking 10 years. I thought he was Jamaican. Kobe Kings is not Jamaican even slightly. This is a black guy. That is very true.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah. He's just a regular. You know how hard I rooted for him. And when I found that out, I was like,

I feel so betrayed. Yeah, you can't get it right. You're a black man. All you have is DJ now. Why did you lie about that? You got DJ and he's not real. You could have just not lied, bro. I was already on your team, bro.

Why'd you lie to me? So, all right. So next question, Jacko asking Chris Savat to sing my way as Vegeta wrote in. He says, Hey, Long Dick, Why Dick and Chris? Has there ever been a time? when this podcast

has bled into your lives outside of the snark tank for me I can't watch the opening cutscene for Halo Infinite anymore because I just think about Master Chief shitting up his own back when fighting atriacs

like a baby fighting a gorilla keep the yucks common I don't even know if we have an answer to this question I just love this idea of that's amazing Halo's ruined because I can only imagine Mass Chief shitting up his own back. Hard, too.

So crazy. Like, like giving himself a fucking skunk stripe up his fucking middle of his back, dude. I need a wet nap. I need a wet nap. I need my diaper changed. What do you do, Chief? I'm going back to hand of my dipey.

Yeah. You might tell me what you're doing in that shower? Sir. Wiping the shit off my back. I like him wearing a diaper on the outside, though. Like, it doesn't work, but he still has a diaper on the outside. He gives him peace, you know. He gives him a lot of my piece.

Yeah, he feels secure. It keeps his speaker tightened. Yeah. She's like, see, what are you doing? Reminds me of getting my back, sir. Shat me. Carry on. What do you say after that?

What do you say after that? I don't know. The question, has there ever been a moment where the, where this, where the show bleeds into your lives? Of course for me. The only thing I can think of, really, is that I don't know what I've talked about off air and on air. Like, I don't know, like, sometimes I'll be, I'll have, I'll be telling a story. And I'm like, did we already talk about this? And I won't remember if I told it to you on the podcast or if it was something that we said in private.

That happens on the show sometimes. So I don't know. We'll be like, did we talk about this before? And we did. Or like, did we talk about this before? And then we didn't, even though we're sure we did. It's more stuff like that. But I don't think it's any, I don't know, like the show hasn't.

I wouldn't say it's bled in my life like that. Because I usually forget everything that we fucking say. The second we're done recording. Pooh, and pee-p-p. Yeah, there's definitely some. I know there's some stuff. There's references probably, I just can't, there's nothing off top of my head right now. But for sure, because, because,

we, I do that with regular television shows where it bleeds in the other shit. And then we have all these ends, me and Jojo have all these inside jokes and stuff like that. And I'm sure stuff like that with the podcast happens too. But not as often because, you know, she doesn't listen regularly. She listens every once in a while. And so I can't, even if there's something that happened, I can't really, she may not know what I'm talking about. Then I have to explain it. She's like, I fuck it, whatever.

But, uh, there's definitely, I don't know, there's some funny shit. Like, I think, I will say. Joel's death in the last was part two is is not sad at all it's it's it's pretty hilarious because of just thinking about him the way we disrespect him I would say that's probably something that it is completely just him just it's just a joke to me it's not even yeah it's not even an iconic moment that that and shot uncle Ben is is somewhat like I still love it I know I know

it's sad. I know I know I know I know I know Cliff Robertson and Terry McGuire do a good job in that scene but like I just think about all the ways that we've disrespected that scene over the years Peter I'm shitting up my own back Peter. It's a very serious problem where I miss respect

everything that's the thing I have no respect for anything because everything I make fun of I make fun of like every single thing that comes out so like now I'm just like damn I've made jokes about every single thing I've Like I can't I can't watch us

Like I can't watch a serious moment in television I start making jokes about somebody being like Hey man you know really fixed this situation The son got shot a nice steven bowl A piss on his body And it's just like God Everything's a joke Yeah

I have with Lillian because Lillian's living around me now So everything's becoming a joke to her too So like her brother tells her and we're like Oh man I got dumped today and she starts making and she starts laughing at him because everything is funny now. Yeah. There's a coping mechanism, I'm sure, to deal with the problems of the world. I'm sure, yeah.

It could happen. Yeah, that makes sense. It's, it's, that is so funny to me, though, because it's like the very notion of it. The very idea, it basically implies that you've brainwashed this woman into, like, not even brainwash her. You've indoctrinated her outside of her emotions. Like, she can't feel anything now. She's not her anymore She's who she

She once was someone That no longer is there Do you think that old Lily would fight Would fight New Lily and win No All the Louis get destroyed by the new Lily Yeah Yeah

Nilly would grab the blade She would talk to old Lily Old Lily would like grab her And she'd be like you fooling And she'd jug you like stab her She'd like you fell for it huh And she'd make a joke about her And I'd be like that's hilarious

That is pretty hysterical I've fallen so far I've fallen so far All right Let's see Let's see let's see let's see Oh okay I haven't read this one

But it seems promising I live in Philly And everything you guys said is true Also look up Kensington Beach 215 on Instagram They wrote in Said hello hello Gay Gay and Gayist

This might be better suited For an extra ammo Depending on how in-depth you want to take it But in a recent episode You guys briefly discussed What Donald Trump's Mortal Kombat Move Set would be Now I want to see more fighting games

movesets for more and more ridiculous characters Could anyone Could be could be anyone you guys think of in a fighting game Mortal Kombat Street Fighter Smash etc? The more ridiculous the better It's not a bad idea It isn't a bad idea I feel like that could easily turn into something

1,000% It'll be an extra ammo And I think it should just surround People that we Creators that we know. I want there to be like a YouTube combat. Like a content creator fighter fighter? A creator class? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, like an actual creator class. A real. Yeah. Yeah. That's brilliant, Chris. That's brilliant. You know, lo-key. Low-key, yeah, I think that's a great idea. I think that's a great name. I think we'll get the ball rolling on that. We'll see how that goes. I just want to, and I wanted to have

factions. I want this one to have like a lot of characters and have factions. And they'll be Yeah, we're going to build a story. We're going to build a story. Like an in-universe story. We're going to use these people in their real lives. We're going to use these real people in their real lives and their real names and the real social security numbers, everything. All the information that is about them that is real, we're going to use and we're going to use it in our video game.

But we're going to base an entirely new lore around the game to give them a reason to fight. You know what I mean? So we're going to have Taze Sunday. We're going to have Jack's films, obviously. We're going to have Boogie 2988. we're going to have Ray William Johnson We're going to have It's going to be great

We're going to have a great character action fighter I just realize how disrespectful that sounds To Jack I didn't mean to put him in with a bunch of crazy people But he was just the second person that came to mine I think it'd be great I think that'd be a great idea And ironically we're definitely going to do that

For an extra ammo I think it's a great idea So yeah He was going to be in there He's going to have like assist know, like these dudes that are just fucking his girl. Yeah, he's gonna like, he's all assists. He actually can't attack without assists. I like, he just has these, he has these buffed black dudes next to him

fighting for him. That'd be amazing. Yeah. It's like Claire in Marvel's Captain 2. Yeah. You know, like, you know, Claire, she sends the zombie and the dog and the crows. It's like, it's like Little Red Riding Hood with the fucking gang of people. Oh, yeah, yeah, BB hood.

Dude, I love that. I actually. Well, no, I'm going to get Bebeahood tattooed on me And I was thinking about I should get the whole back piece of those bounty hunters Those buff-ass fucking dudes Yeah, that scene is crazy I know the question that I want to read

But I don't think we'll answer I just want to acknowledge this because it's kind of ties into what we just answered But be a bito my me wrote And he says, hello come boys All this talking about fighting games got me thinking If you guys were to create a Star Tank fighting game Who would be in the roster, the stages, the super moves, etc. Thank you for giving me a break

from my monotony every week. So I think that could be part of that conversation, I think. But or absolutely. Characters, be the main characters. We all the guests. So it'll be John. John, John has a music fucking thing. Well, no, no, no.

It can't be everybody then because that just kind of bleeds into what we're, what the other thing is. If it's just us, if it's just three, could that work? Probably not. But that might be funnier for that. We should do a beat-em-up game where it's us three. And then we'll build like that.

and maybe some secret characters will be some guess or some shit I don't know I guess it'll be Lily we want to see your characters Yeah A good chondipalbent in there

We'll get We'll get a piss coin And if you find every piss coin The game you get a lock Lily I want to do a fucking Hadoakin You know like the Marvels Capcom Hadook

And super Hadoquin Where it's like a huge stream I just want to be like Just huge stream of piss Just like I'm sick as fuck Pisc canon out everybody dude

It's the highest DP in the game It is It is such a It is such a big and forceful stream of piss that it's going through the jeans and it's still enough pressure to knock people down.

You guys ever see Cyclops's wipe away your jeans at that moment. You would just eventually be pissed straight through your jeans. Listeners, go look up Cyclops' his hyper optic blast. Hyper optic blast.

Because like his fucking beam is almost as large as the screen itself. It is so ridiculous. That move is absurd. It's so fucking stupid. I love how he has the show you can the optic blast. That was always my favorite move of his. Bam, bam, bam, and then one little shoot at the end.

I was like, fuck, I like Cyclops. Dude, I grew up loving Cyclops, and I didn't know he was lame until well later in my life. I always thought he was lame until X-Miver's Street Fighter. I was like, Cyclops is gay. I thought he was so cool. There he is in the cover shaking hands with Ryu, and I'm like, oh, fuck. And then his move set was actually pretty cool. cool and I'm like, you know how to like psychops now.

But no, he was always good. He was the, he was the, he was the, he was cock blocking Wolverine. I'm like, bruh, you mean Wolverine was cursing on his fucking bullshit? Don't get me wrong. I like Wolverine more. I like Wolverine a lot as well. But I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, he's a good guy. He's a, but he's a cunt. Yeah, he's, he's, he's a, he's a real person. That's the thing. He's like a, he's an asshole. He's the ass. Yeah, which is like, people on average, there's like, they're short, they're angry, they've had the short end of the stick you got experimented on. Wouldn't you be a cunt, too? If you were like, you had that type of bad luck.

So I'd just be like, you fucking knit and you fucking pussy-ass bitch, you know? You know, Logan says the N-word. You know, he always calls Scott. Watch out four eyes. He's no good for Eugene. He's a bitch-ass knit. He's a bitch-ass nigger. I'll just say he'll say soft day.

I'm sorry. I grew up saying, but he says, he says, he says, my apologies. Who's black and actually? He says,

so. Well, it's, well, I don't think Wolverine doesn't discriminate because he's, he's,

he's piped down all those girls. He don't discriminate. He's just giving it out. He's just, he's tossing to whoever can catch it, bro, that regeneration,

he's just, yo, hey, you want some pipe of roro. Fuck you better than that African nigga. Oh my God.

It's like, damn, Wolverine. You're talking a lot of shit about Black Panther. Black who? Black who? I don't know. I don't want no nigger.

I don't know black nigger. Get the fuck out of here. Holy shit. You have anima mania on your claws on the ends of your fucking cute-ass nails. That's cute. All right. Yeah, yeah, go ahead. I got to put it.

We're getting. We're getting crazy. If this, if the Star Tank was designed. And if the Star Tank designed a new weapon in Halo. Go ahead. Go ahead. Just keep going.

If the Snart tank designed a new weapon in Halo, it would just be the needler, except Chris would name it the N-wordler. So stupid. That is so funny, but yeah, it's stupid, yeah, sure. It's badass. What would it do? It would just, like, put a bunch of...

I just want to have a bunch of black. You see like just a bunch of niggas. There's a bunch of niggas in there. No, no, no, no, no. That's crazy. I have the, that's amazing. I have the perfect what it would do to you. Okay, what would the niggler do?

Watermelon stradne on and then you turn into a black person. Ah, that's, all right. That's so, that's so. That's insane. That is, that's insane even for that universe. That is such an elderly racism. Yeah, all right. You're shooting an elite, an elite's like,

Oh, black man standing there, a black human. And he's like, what happened? What happened? It's so stupid. And you're like, Mr. Elite. He's like, I was a whole different thing a few seconds ago. What's going on?

I guess it would be better. Would react to seeing, and to seeing, do you think, how do you think courage the cowardly dog would explain 9-11 to use this in Muriel. He would turn into a fucking building and he'd blow up.

He turned to the building and blow up and he went Shoo! I love that his language is shape-shifting. I love that his language is shape-shifting. I love that he shapeshifts as a part of his language, but he can't... Like he can't really... But he can speak, he can.

Because he said, the things I do full of... You know, he says... No, no, no, no, no, no. That is not him speaking. That is him conveying to us. I think that's him speaking. I like to think that that's the only thing that he can say. And his actual...

No, no, no, don't know. He speaks. He speaks constantly. But it's not him really speaking. No, no, no, you misunderstand. I understand what you're saying. Like, he's conveying to us. It's like we're reading his mind in some way.

But I believe in universe he is also shapeshifting while he is, well, he... Ab-de-Bob. And then he becomes a plane for three frames. And then he goes back to being like a yammering. I think at some point, like, if courage was able to live his entire life, I think he would eventually just be able to shape shift into a person who knows how to calmly explain the situation. And I think that's what that, I think, I think what'll have it you eventually, eventually, eventually, eventually you'll get to a point where Curz, Cavalabro, Abadoo, Abad, Abad. There's a demon outside.

and he's going to kill us. And then we'll shift back into a dog. I don't know how we got here. Muriel, I have no idea what's actually. Because I thought about, I thought about trying to explain, I thought about trying to explain,

like how would I explain an alien becoming a black person like instantly after getting shot with that stupid weapon that Kingston described. I think that's really funny, dude. I just kind of flashed into the, this state of like, I would have to just hysterically

courage the cowardly dog explain it. And then I thought about like, how would he explain Nigel? Like, how would he explain January 6th? Like, would he shape shift into, would he shape shift into Donald Trump? And it'd be like, yeah, maybe. Transform into a bunch of smaller

curritches approaching one regular courage in a cop suit on steps. He turns into, he turns into, he turns into, he turns into Ashley Babbitt exploding. He turns out of somebody falling off a wall That's crazy

I didn't even remember that name That's yeah that's the name Yeah they got a fucking headshot multiplier on that one man That's that was fucking That was crazy Dermination Do you think the guy after that was like Nice

Nice Oh yeah Oh yeah You fuck with me You know how fucking nice hand Look at that motherfucker Fuckers head. It's gone. Let's go. All right. Let's go. Let's move.

All right, let's go. Let's go. That name that I read before about the Halo weapon being made, except I would call it the N-wordler or whatever. I'm not reading that name again. He wrote, Dear Middle-aged, Middle-class, and just playing mid. God damn. My question is, with the Super Bowl. I guess I'm middle-aged. Yeah, I guess you must have. Who's middle? Am I middle class? I don't even want to know. Are I just mid?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't like that... It is a lot of not nice. It is a lot of not nice. With the Super Bowl being this month, which video game characters would you recruit in a space jam

like scenario to save the Earth? To make it interesting, let's say the contest is in two parts. Regular American football and hardcore gay power bottoming. All right, that's ridiculous. We're getting crazy. They have to be total champions

in both arenas. I like the idea of people. Yeah, I mean, it's easy. It's easy for Augustus Cole, obviously. Yeah, Cole easily. You know what's crazy? You know what's crazy? There are, I really feel like there are D&D monsters that are not as strong as

Cole. Like, I feel like there are strong D&D creatures that Cole would beat the, like, I feel like Cole could beat an Albert. Like, I feel like if he fought an owlbear by himself. I think he can truck ones. With a rock, you give him like a rock that's like about the size of his hand

that he can lift up and slam on it. I think he'll kill the hour before it kills him. He might not have like lacerations. I feel like the only way the owl bear would win is if it crushed them

like I've seen some people do. Like I've seen some people use the owlbear like a fucking meteor. And I was like, that shit is game ruining. Dude, the creativity. So fuck. Because you enlarge,

you enlarge. You enlarge it Albert, you have it jump on somebody, and it does an insane amount of damage. It's, I think it's the most damage in the game crushing somebody with Albear. I think it's the most A-O-E, like, damage per like not casting a spell. You just jump, land on it. And you're like, oh, I did like 70 damage to six people. Yeah. Just keep doing it.

But yeah, Cole would definitely fuck one up. Who else would be? Okay, so we can talk about American football. I think. Agent 27 or 47? You say Agent 27? I forgot his name from

Hitman. 27. 27, that'd be fine. It's me, Tony. I would to live in a fucking universe where it's Agent Tony seven. No, you would not want Agent 47 on it. Well, actually,

no, Agent 47 might be a good thing to have because we've established that he's good at everything except being a decent part. like he can't be a normal part. Like he's really good at mimicking everybody to the point where he could just play the part. He could play the part convincingly of a really good football player and do well.

He'll play Tom Brady. Yeah. Yeah. He'll dress up as Tom Brady and start kissing his son and shit. And they get ready to play. And everybody, yeah, yeah, it should be, for our team, it's Coltrane and then Tom Brady, but it's clearly aged 47.

Like, it's just a bald man. It is a bald. man with a fucking barcode on his back who doesn't speak at all and it just says Tom Brady he doesn't even put on his

helmets no he doesn't he doesn't need it he doesn't need it he's perfect he's a flawless flawless football player yeah that I love that

I think sack boy I love your son I think sack boy should be there because here's what I'm thinking I think sack boy can you can probably make the ball out of him

and then you kind of get yourself a little cheat there is that cheating? Is that cheating? Well, I mean it's space jam The whole thing is fucking cheating. The whole thing is fucking cheating. You don't think it's you don't think it was a calculated decision

to put the rapist from a clockwork orange in the front row fucking seats at that like court side at that Looney Tunes game as like a distraction tactic? Be like, why the fuck are the fucking rapists? The rapist here. Why are the rapists?

How amazing would have been if they... There's an extended cut where they rape LeBron James. They just did it. They raped him out of his shoes, bro. Like, right, like, during that it was going on, he was raping him, and his shoes flew off. I really like the idea of them addressing it in some way. Like, I like the idea of, like, Bugs Bunny turning to death. Like, there's no music or anything.

It just cuts to music, it cuts to Bugs and Daffy, and Bugs is like, are those the rapists from a, are those, are those the, yeah,

those are those the rapists? No, there's not even, yeah, there's no character there. It's a real moment of, it's a real sincere moment of Bugs Bunny being like,

are those the rapist from a clockwork orange in the front? And then it cuts back to like the shenanigans. That would have been sick as fuck. That actually, I would have appreciated that for real.

It would have been the only good thing about that movie because that, God damn, that movie was, yeah. Wow. Wow. All right. So, we got Coltrane. We got two more people. Yeah, we'll do the only two more people.

We would like blitz. Yeah, yeah. Let's see. Hmm. I think Carlach, honestly, it's just mussely enough. She's big enough. Carlac is a very. Carlac's great.

That's a great one. You need food to Carlac, though. You need food to Nari Carlac. All right, man. Okay. pipe on her with the pipe on her. Sure. And she just slaps someone.

She wallop somebody with it. You guys know how. You guys know how poison is, uh, is technically trans in a, in a streetfire. And street fire to law. Stop. Stop. Yeah. Well, yeah.

Well, technically, yes, she is. She's not. Um, yeah, if it go to final fight and yes, it, technically that's true. Yeah, you're, you're saying, you're saying facts, but I disagree. Well, I mean, you get, yeah, because you beat off to her a lot. Now you're ashamed. Oh, what. Yeah.

A lot Too much I went back to Street Fighter 4 and I found her Her food A mod Dude it is so funny It is the biggest penis on earth Is it is her thing

Is her penis or is it like her fucking It's just it's just a huge It just It looks like It's so big It's almost like if you grabbed a Nathan hot dog And put it up to the screen Like it's so big

I'm like, bro, why is it so big? It's the funniest thing ever. Anyway, I got another one. I got another one. Who we got? Blinks the time sweeper. Oh, he would cheat. Blinks would just cheat the fuck out of everybody.

You could rewind the game. Okay. All right, this is getting kind of weird. You know what Blinks would do? Blinks would stop time and have people injure the other same teammates. he would like he would like stop time go grab the regular quarterback when the whole team was about the dog pile the other team's quarterback and they all land on that guy so they all cripple their own quarterback and briggs's like i don't know how we got there that's insane

i hope he's alive and then and then the last one they're trying to rush him to the hospital blink freezes time so he dies inside the ambulance that's crazy yeah blinks is a mess so it's so it's him and then uh private allen not Keith David's character, Private Allen, the one he's directing. Yeah, yeah. Not even any of the iconic characters of the franchise.

It's just private Allen. It's perfect. I just want a franchise has and you chose private Allen. Replace Tom Brady, be a quarterback. Yeah, I want private Allen. I feel like Private Allen slept on. Yeah, and Keith David as himself

from Saints 4 as the coach. So we have him. Yeah, exactly. Private Allen. I believe in you. I'm Keith David. Private Allen, I'm Keith David. Hit the showers, Tom Brady. That is how coaches talk to their...

That is how coaches talk to their team. It's like, guys, it's my name is this. Hit the showers. Hello team. My name is Andy Reid. The Super Bowl is today. Remember. I'm Maddie.

Good, good game. The Super Bowl is today. Just fucking giving the most obvious information possible. It is a Wednesday. Let's move into a... Oh, yeah. This is another PS from that guy. It's like, PS, I started subscribing and listening on account of my cute boyfriend, Scotty,

who would absolutely blush if he heard you read that, Chris. So there you go. I hope he's blushing. If not. I demand a fucking, I demand more money. I demand a lot more money from you if he's not blushing. Give me one of your vested digits. Hand it over.

Give up one of your paychecks. You can part with one of them. That is so crazy. Find the most prize position your parents have. Can you fucking imagine donating a paycheck to anyone? The idea of that is crazy. This guy really deserves it It's so fucking like

Your priorities are so fucked It's just the entire thing Hey hey asshole you forgot to sign it And you got to send it back Oh man All right You remember physical paychecks Yeah yeah

You got to rip the little things off You got to sign that bitch Fucking ancient shit So I'm a little confused I'm a little confused by this question, honestly. Spank Sinatra and Bing Comesby. It's good. I like that.

They wrote in, they said, hello. Big Comesby is really good. Hello, insert mildly racist names here. Yeah, yeah, we're good. Yeah, first time writer, long time listener. Keeping it simple, would you all rather give the first 99% of a blowjob or the last 1%? Oh, well, I mean, yeah, so you're just saying like right before the money shot, right? Right, right.

So, so I think this is an easy question because there is no stipulation of you must take a shot in the mouth to complete a blowjob. Right. Like that is not, that is not. So you get to kiss it, then you aim it away and it blast whoever it's going to be. So essentially, yeah, they tap on you like, you know, like you're being submitted. and then you just right there misses you. It all you literally just got one little and that's it. I mean, that's, yeah, that's way better.

Easy, piecey, lim and squeezing. What if he's got a concussive boy? And he like, it hits you and knocks you back. Oh, it actually rips my mouth open because my fuck. My mouth split open like the joker because I didn't, I didn't get it like out in time. It's like, you want to know I got these scars. Three scars on their face. It's like, oh, did you find like a liner?

You got to tag you like, nah, actually, um, I kissed this guy's dick. and it came real hard and it tore up my face a little bit that's why have these three scars on my face like that's the joke that's the Joker Oregon origins he went crazy after that

really that's what happened he busted so hard and he went nuts and then he like after he started laughing like just maniacally after his fucking face got ripped over by the gum all right all right and then they just like

now he has the white makeup to represent cum let's get the fuck out of here that came on that is great this is a dude that got come down that's so freaking

maniacal oh my god let's get the let's get the hell out of here I can't even I can't abide by that thank you for everybody for supporting this

fucking disaster come on over to Patreon.com slash Star Tank to get your questions you know a Batman universe where every villain is based on cum

every Keep, go, go ahead and get out here. I just, I just want to put that. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a bunch of spurb all over his suit. Ah, Batman. He still does riddles, but they're all come related and they're really obvious. He's like, what he's like, it's like, it's, it's, it's, I love, man's just done solving him. He has, I read no point.

you, Batman, what's white and comes out of my penis? It's like, is it come? It's like, yes. You got me again, Batman. It's all the answer is always going. He goes, what's, what's, what's, what's caking my room, but still with me? And he's like, is it come? Filed again.

God damn it I'll get you next time he's like why do you keep making everything time because it's come it's always funny I'll get you next time you black creature I mean in darkness I mean nothing skin

I'm gonna be a black person I'm gonna get cancelled but not because they're bad he runs away I'm gonna get canceled he's dressed in cum Jesus come I'm fucking All right.

All right. All right. Alfred. The cummikwin. The cum. The cummler is the cummler is loose. The cumler is loose. The cummer.

He's coming on everybody. Alfred. We got a sobby. Quinn. The jizzler. Uh, did two cum or two sperm. I don't know. Mr.

They're all. You broke out. Mr. Who's that? Oh, Mr. Freeze? What was that? Mr. Freed? Drain the main vein is breeze.

Brise. Drain the main vein is breeze. Killer cum Who else is there? Cuck. Cumpfay. Cumpface. He's the exact same as Clayface.

He's the exact same as Clayface. He can become anybody, but it's like a perfect DNA match to the, like, because it's come. Like he can just become anyone's cum. So like, he's just like, if you get a DNA sample from Cumpface, it's like, it's whoever he's impersonating at that time. That is fucking phenomenal. Cumbes.

And then there's a Poison Ivy parentheses with cum. With cum. Because there's nothing. I don't know what you could do to Poisoned Ivy, really. Yeah. Because I already used Cummy Quinn, Harley or Harley Cum, I don't know, whichever. Pick your poisons. Splat woman.

Splat. Splat woman. All right. There we go. There's too much cum in the city. All right, let's go. I got to get the fuck out of here. I actually got to cut on the talk.

There's too much. I bet they're clean and come up the streets. All right. This bothers me so much. Do we have time to run through the credits real quick? Can we do that? Or should we just like save it for later? Well, if we're disciplined and we stop it.

How much, when is your heart out? When's your heart out? Well, I mean. What's the time? Just do it. Let's go. Let's go. Let's do it.

All right, right. Game, Nard war goes gluck, gluck, gluck, gluck, guck, cack, cuck, cuck. Gua, quah, I don't know what that means. How do you make... The interviewer? Yeah, the interview. I don't know I'm enough to know as fucking cash rates.

How do you make names longer? It won't let me, thanks. If the Star Tank designed a new weapon in Halo, it would just be the needler, except Chris would change it to the N-wordler. Patreon cuts off my name. Holy shit, Chris does look like Julie Louis Dreyfus. You're crazy.

Bargans, imprisoning me. All that I see, absolute savings. Big meaty stinks. Andy the man whose handies are S-tier and dandy. cocky for the piss cut uh cocky Chris only likes

cocky for I can't believe we didn't think of cocky right oh man I love I love drinking piss well I read the Patreon

names Chris only likes Julie Louis Drives because he kind of looks like her Heath smoker there's too much cover in this city

outfit Heath smoker Drizzy Drzy Drake's Drisler Jesse Pickman Homeless Transfam

who has a town inside her Hey, he saw that guy's pizza. Thin' boy and Longfeller, a slender opera. We smoke in Usain Bolt Dick. Toby Keith be like, I ain't alive as I once was. Fuck it. Carry on with the British slander.

Shit sucks here. Yeah. That's crazy. You just laugh at that. It's amazing how little I gave a shit when I saw that. He was like, all right. He didn't even react. Yeah.

Wasn't even worth making fun of. Mr. Pants. Chris. I'm going to use you as a condom for my, for when I'm fucking Sweens, a jar ass. Baller of the first sin. Spum befudders going down on Chun Lee like Ed eating his mattress, starting with the toes, stopping at the hips. Yeah, dude, absolutely, 100%. Jolly old dipshit, shot Uncle Ben Shapiro.

Let's say hypothetically, I was shot by a criminal. You chose not to apprehend. Excellent. That's good. Once I had my cock up to my jaw, they said I wasn't going to suck it. I don't know. I don't know. Tofer, laser pistol, cyphergraph, gay Peter Parker, Parker, I'm going to put some dick in your mouth.

Cracker rot and Nogita and Piccholo team up to fight Majin Jew. Magin Jew is so good. He wrote Jew normally. I feel like you should have done it with the two U's. But yeah, imagine Ju-Ju-J-J-That would have been really cool. That would have been a little better. Not a straight by men and M.

I'm not a straight to gay to stand. Everybody, come gate my man. Sweeney's inability to not interrupt Chris. A-O, my name's Colin Moriarty. I'm going to need a jug for all this squirt I'm about to produce. Come in the sheets up to my ankles. Come in the sheets up to my knee.

Come in the sheets up to my butthole. Come in my eyes all over me. Sweeney, Superpower, is being compromised. Confidently wrong. Back to Tank of Com. Caucasian container in the cracker bottle for gays. Donald Trump burping on Dom's clit. Fight me, Greg Miller for what you've done to my boo. All I want is to bust inside a guy or two, I'll fuck them. And they'll fuck you. Thank God. We're no, we're gay, no range. She pipkin on my pippa pisa. Possum. Pawsum. Can I work? I can work on gangstead's head during a three sim allegedly. Average clear energy. What starts with my Hellcat push to start ends with ER. Just the hardar star coffee. Yo, I can work? I can work on gangster quest. Creation of Adam. But they're touching dicks. Oh, that's weird. Creation of Adam. Maller and the culture war soldiers.

I stopped paying my rent so I could be a real fan, Transfam Gremlin, exposing people with lactose intolerance to 90 million rodogens of ionizing radiation. Yush. Not Vin Penn. Angelic DM. Big dudes fuck the living shit out of me. They could care less as long as I'm on many, so take off your clothes. Craig the Canadian.

Richard Fisting and the ever-changing name. It's your boy, Shawnee D. Jinkies, Velma. We like can't call Asian people that anymore, man. Again. It's... Whatever. Ben and Jerry's

Fuck you monkey. I live in Philly and everything you said is true. Look up Kensington Beach 215 on Instagram. I looked up Abby Shapiro's titties and got the article for incarceration in the U.S.

3XO, inventing a new sect of Islam where you get 72 fend boys after blowing up the bathroom. Slurping, stroking, smoke, and joking. Emotik's going like this. Drip M.H. Lord of Homelessrip. I walk a lonely road.

The only one that I have ever known. Don't know where it goes, but it's only me and I'm fucking gay. Obi won't you blow me. Norwegian game dev is homeless and gay. Let me smash. Kremlin to Gremlin. If I hear one more chump a casino ad, I'll kill you.

I'm going to steal your bones. Apton Oak. Fucking police coming hard as I thrust and pound. Avi. Chris, what happened to the Sween Bears video? I still don't know. Derek, look up only, oh, geez. Remember this Jade moment on YouTube? Then make an extra ammo.

FG women tearless. Yeah, it's crazy. Wageleigh 583. A sad guy from Michigan. Can I get a dick pick with your gray sweatpants on and one without them? And can I also get three picks of your dick and Eddie position also? Elipsis. That's a hungry guy.

You can get one in bike shorts. The Pepini Brothers Emporium. Inquirer. Black gay son won't you come and thrust away the straight? Jesus Christ. Donk, Dongerson, monkey atsu, installing a faulty neural link in Chris's head that plays thunder on repeat. You got to pay the troll's toll to get in the boys' hole. Gade 6.

Joe Biden unhinging his gay big ma to suck the melon out of any so-called black person who didn't vote for him. Drink me some bleach boys and eat my soul. I want to get tossed in a fucking hole. pass away. That's good. That's good. That's not gay. That's just really good.

Very good. Mordecai Jameson sounds like a nerd, Kingston. Oh, Mordecai Jameson sounds like a nerd. Kingston Jameson sounds like he moves weight. You and your cousin should change names. I don't know what that means. Because Mordecai, that's my nephew. And he's fucking not a scary little boy.

We don't care. Yeah, we don't care about nephews on this program. An evil lesbian. Blow me Blow me Gay Faso Fagg E bro

The Gager scale Chris is a secret piss drinker My girlfriend Shoes my balls Like bubble gum John Strickland So lay down

That pussy Feel when it's tight I cream again The head by Gayevel Merck's 1889 It's a damn shame What the world's gotten to For F slurs like me

And F slurs like you Oliver Anthony It's the first search of Keith David Dick Butkus. I was convinced his name was Dick Butkiss second church of Keith David, featuring being better than the first

church of Keith David and last page. Pre-Raz Blake 896, Logan Paul, has been the W.W. Champion for over 90 days and has defended it once. What would you say if I throw it at your wood, just grab on the stick, you'll leave to get laid? I said, that sounds pretty gay. Booker T. Calling Hulk Hogan the N-word on live TV and immediately regretting it. Little

dishrag, lost my job at Coles because they caught me playing with the mannequin's boops. Alaska and oil field trash Texas status out of Vince McMahon Shitting on Jojo's head while Derek watches with a you-hoo Sue Hull, tickle my ass hairs Nikki Ziggy, 24-year-old cum, a roughly

shaped pile of red flags, King K rules colon, Wicket 909 I love that Jackson DuPont, badly brave, DJ Chazzy Chaff, duck cunt, the jiu-jitsu master slowly but inevitably mounting you, atherian, Perjurian hunter, Melfus won the Anguress Crowd and joined the view from the Daly Plaza on the 6th floor

and rounding out our list, King of Hephazard Bye We'll see you next time We'll see you next time Go fuck Get out of here It's the Negro

Man's out tonight Well It's my dick grows And my dick grows And my dick It's the Negro Y'all It's the Negro