The Snark Tank - #21: The Last Great Spoof Movie

Episode Date: May 14, 2020

Was Tropic Thunder the last great Mel Brooks style parody film? If we could rid this world of anything, what would it be? Are bees really endangered or is it a lie from Big Bee? Are deepfakes introducing a huge issue with the reliability of video evidence? What's the deal with OnlyFans?  Why was Billy Mays such a perfect salesman? All this and more on todays confusing episode of the Help Me I'm Terrified of The Great Beyond Podcast Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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It's me again. It's me. I'm Chris. You remember me from last time. Guess who else is here? Wow, it's them. It me. Tom Sweeney,

aka your favorite, lovable African-American man. I mean, maybe. Definitely not. I definitely love a lot of other African-American men before I love you. Why are you got to say that? Why are you going to put me down like that?

They're fucking partners in this, bro. You know that, right? It is pretty presumptuous of you to assume that that's where you're, that that's the pedigree that you have. I'm their favorite. And for them to say otherwise is, first of all, untrue and it's disrespectful, honestly. I mean, that's, I disagree, but like, okay. So, honestly, I have, I don't know what the fuck is happening.

Are there things happening in the world? Because I feel like it's the same like 10 stories over and over again. Well, we're unfortunately stuck in an infinite time loop. That is, it's been February for the last three months. That is, that is a good point. True. So everything is just people on Twitch doing dumb shit. I don't know.

People, people die over bullshit. Um, quarantine. Yeah. Yeah. Kim got resurrected. No, no, he's dead. No, he got re-erected. He got re-erected.

Somebody got him. Somebody got him up. Do you think that that proves his godhood? Probably. I mean, that's what some people are probably saying over there, but you know that motherfucker's dead, dude. We've been over this. He went to the gulag and he fucking beat everybody down, bro.

We've been challenged. His fucking Android's fucking 19 looking ass killed everybody in the fucking gulag. And he brought his bitch ass back. That's not what... I don't know. No, no, that's not what's... We've been... We already been over this.

We're not changing the narrative. We're right. Everybody else is wrong. I don't care. Even if they do a DNA sample and they figure it out a way blood transfusion. He's dead.

They did the bone marrow thing. They did the bone marrow thing where they gave him the bone marrow. Oh my God. True. Well, damn, well, pretty much it's him then. At that moment, it's just straight up him.

Well, as far as like the DNA is concerned, I suppose. Yeah. As far as what makes you you is him. So yeah, it's him. No, no. What makes you you is your personality and how you perceive the world as a human being. But your DNA definitely has quite a bit to do with that. Not that much.

Not compared to your... Like maybe like 15 to 30%. Nah, I feel like your percentage is off. Nah. I feel like... I'm not going to say a percentage is. I don't know how much, but definitely a good chunk. I think I remember us talking about...

what do you call it? Teleporting and talking about and not being able to transfer your consciousness and everything. And I think you guys were really talking about like if you actually do genuinely teleport, it would be like a copy and then it wouldn't be you. Something like that, right? You guys said something along that lines?

It wouldn't be you, but it would be pretty damn close to you, like almost you. Like really close to you. The Transfusion thing is a little wonky. It would basically... It would be like science fiction to me. It would basically, no, it would essentially just be you.

It's essentially a cloning device that takes everything that you've perceived up until that moment and copies it into a new body. But like your perspective from that original body would cease. It would just be another person walking around being completely convinced that it's you. Carrying on from where your perspective was cut off. So that's damn near a clone then. Yeah, yeah. Well, it is. Fucking wild, huh?

Don't get teleported, guys. It's fucking... Don't get teleported. I don't know. I saw some... As far as, like, news goes, The only thing that I could think of is, well, I can't, I just, I can't damn think of anything. I know, like, today, specifically, on the day that we are recording this, May 11th.

We're recording a day late because we fucked up yesterday. Yeah, sorry about that. And mainly, like, what I mean by we is, I mean me. My head is exploding for, like, fucking 12 straight hours. It's pretty funny. He was so frail and weak. I could have killed him, but I chose not to. But what's a big thing on Twitter right now is that,

I guess K-pop Twitter just found out that Joji was filthy Frank. Oh, man, here we go. I saw that too. I saw, I saw Joju was trending, and initially I thought it was, oh, he must have put out a new single. It was... Whoa.

Yeah, it's not that at all. Yeah, K-pop is disappointed. There's a whole swath of people out there. It's baffling to me that there's a whole swath of people out there that just didn't know. Didn't know this person was exactly like the other person is that person.

Yeah. It's weird. It kind of reminded me of not too long ago on Twitter. There was people complaining like Gen Z people that were like, I didn't know Iron Man

wore blackface before. Oh my God, really? With the Tropical Thunder? Yeah, like I guess some of them probably watched some. They didn't know. They just found out. I have to, I cannot deny the fact that Tropic Thunder was one of the greatest films ever.

I fucking adore that movie. And I especially love R.D.J.'s part, man. Because it was so fucking good, man. It's great. It's so good. Like, yo, look, I'm not the biggest fan of Blackface, but R.D.J. gets a fucking pass in my book, man. It was so fucking well done. It was so well done.

was some of them that I forgot that that was Ironman more than once. I forgot that it was more than once. I was like, wait a minute. That was one of the, that was truly, I think, the last of the great, the last great spoof movie. You know, when they would make

like entire movies that were meant to just parody like genres and other films and stuff. That was like the last genuinely great one. That was like a Mel Brooks movie nearly. 100% That's actually a great analogy too Or a great comparison To a Mel Brooks

Yeah Yeah Because and it also Essentially you can't do that shit again Just like most Melbrook Movies you can't do either Yeah yeah No it's it really is like

Tropic Thunder levels of just like You can't do that Ben still are playing a fucking pale Ghostly idiot Who speaks in Tard speak For like an entire scene What is it like Simple Jack

You're talking about Simple Jack Simple Jack. Make me happy. What was it? He says like something. There was one line that used to crack me the fuck up. He's like,

my head movies make my eyes rain. So good, dude. That's so good. You, dude, look, look, I don't like anybody people. That's actually kind of like

one of the things I try to stay away from. But goddamn, that shit is funny, bro. It's too funny. Because it's so absurd. Because it's so ridiculous. Like,

there's nobody. No one is that stupid. Just nobody. You would have to, you would have walked into, like, so many buses if you were that stupid. There are people who are mentally ill, and people who probably suffer with problems like that. But just, his portrayal was so fucking funny. Like, come on. It was.

It was just too funny. And, like, I mean, speaking of Ben Stiller, Jerry, his dad, Jerry Stiller passed away today, rest in peace. Yeah. Yeah, I just saw that. One of the funniest people, I think, on TV. He made King of Queens watchable. Yeah, he did. Which is more than I can say for everybody else.

On that show. Yeah, definitely. I guess the wife was okay. The wife was funny. But, like, I don't know. She sounded like my landlord. That annoyed me, but hey, whatever. I mean, I don't know.

That turned me on. But anyway, like, I think, I think generally, like, it's just off-putting to me, because I'm just realizing what I'm like 26 about to be 27 and I guess I'm at that point where like I'm I'm reaching a point where I'm noticing people just not be aware of things that I just remember seeing you know and it's like kind of an uncomfortable feeling like the fact that like there are people out there who are like 15 who just like didn't know about Tropic Thunder makes me sad yeah it's it's wild it's strange it's strange that it's strange seeing people's um their their birth dates and it freaks me out because I'm like what the I just I graduated high school

like someone born I was born in 2006 and I was like what the fuck that's when I graduated it's weird it's a really weird thing to process and I once had uh the only like revelation I really remember when I was young was hearing a lot of songs growing up and then my mom coming down on me like all of those fucking songs that you listen to they're all like just she she said play But you know they they basically sampled all the beats and they remixed everything like everything and then and then she started showing me all these classic songs and that was the shit that kind of blew my mind and it makes me think there's probably a lot of stuff like that now Like I can't remember the name of the song but Nikki Minaj was on it and meek Mill and then one of the last parts of the verse They just completely bit some biggie lyrics and I bet like people kids growing up they have no idea because that was fucking early 90s.

How would the fuck would they know about that shit? It's just weird, dude. It's weird how many, like, how much sampling? Like, Kanye West, the beginning of a discography is pretty much all sampled songs. Yeah. Like, it's so much sampling that goes into it. It's so weird how, like, like, people that people, a lot of people now think that, like, figuring of kinds particularly, people think that, like, oh, Kanye's albums, like, Kanye's music is so, so listen that.

And it's like, bro, you don't even know what. type of music is like. Like, I remember listening to Kine in 2000, like, too, after they made Jesus walk and shit like that. And that was like, fucking 19 years ago, I like people that exist now weren't even around then. That's fucking madness to me. It's, it's just off-putting because it reminds you that just time is moving and you just can't stop it. And the thing that's, it's strange because I almost feel closer. Like, when I see the year that my parents were born or like, and the year that I was born,

they feel closer to me than the year that I was born and somebody born in like 2002. You know what I mean? I don't know what the hell it is, but there's something about that first number of being different that makes it feel like a fucking century worth of like just complete...

Especially just because of how much has changed, I guess, in the last 20 years. Because like, I mean, even just stuff like... I didn't really use the internet until like 2005, you know? So I'd already like Yeah Like I was I was a kid Like by then

Yeah And it had been around for a while But I like never I just didn't fuck around I feel like I lived in the 80s For like seven years And then like It was weird

Because like I just didn't have access That we had like one computer And we used it I think to just fax stuff Like I didn't know that the internet Was real or that like You could go on like Amish donkey Or like

Amish Donkey or like Play like ridiculous games on it I mean Dude, for real, though, I think that's, you probably hopped on at the best time because I didn't, I, I have no fond memories of the dial-up era. It was frustrating. It was, yeah, especially when I think about when things started to get to, like, oh, okay, now we have DSL or whatever. I remember having fucking Napster and it would take 40 minutes to download one song. And if you wanted to download a movie, uh, you know.

come back at the end of the day maybe you'll have a good 10 to 16 hours depending on how large the fucking movie was that shit made me want to I it wasn't even worth it to me but we still did it because it was the it was like the only way to do it I got to get my porn somehow

so I'm gonna wait I'm gonna wait my three fucking hours until I'm gonna wait I'm gonna wait I'm gonna play some fucking crash team racing I'm gonna play some fucking Sonic Adventure 2 and I'm gonna come back and it's gonna finally be ready and I can watch my two minutes of porn There you go.

Dude, I print it out once things like, I'm talking about images were done buffing. They're loaded. Finally, after a good 10, 15 minutes or whatever, how long it took, I would print them out so I didn't have to go through that shit again when I was a kid. So I would just have fucking printed out pictures of porn fucking chicks. Just wasting so much ink. So much. So much. Did you imagine walking into your kids' books?

bedroom, opening up their fucking drawer, and there's a printed picture of a vagina. Like, print, and back then time, so the quality is horrible. Yeah, it was, it was like, what is this? What is this? What is this clam with a horn doing in your fucking closet? This clam with a tiny horn doing your closet. You had to hang it up across the room just to get a sharp look at it. I think that's what it.

I can kind of see where this is going. If I squint, this is fucking hot. Bro, when I was in seventh grade, I don't know what you were at. So it was still like early 2000, probably like 2001, something like that. Yeah. I was starting to get really hit to MP3s and MP4s and stuff.

And I had a burner that could, okay, now you can burn all that stuff on there. Everything started to get better instead of just using Wave or whatever the hell that took up way too much space. So it blew my mind. So I would start downloading so much porn, so many images.

I'd have hundreds of images on one disc and maybe a few videos. And then we had a new DVD player, which I got it for Christmas with, my mom got me Spider-Man and the DVD player. So if I wasn't watching Spider-Man, I was watching an ass ton of porn. And thank goodness, I think that,

I think my mom didn't understand how you had to access the files because you know you put in a movie and it immediately starts playing um so i remember she went in my room for whatever the fuck reason and i saw that that disc was sitting on top of the DVD player because i left it inside of it and i was like holy shit and if if she would have saw what was on there i'm sure she would have took it so i'm like i don't think she knew what the fuck she was even looking at like the just the file selection or whatever because man i remember when i was fucking seventh grade i was like i was like Like, dude, squirting was like a phenomenon to me.

Like, that was like the craziest thing ever. So I just tried to get access to anything like that. Did you just juice out of your Vajajahole? What? Now I was like, freaking madness. Dude, that's why, like, I'm not really even, I'm not really into porn anymore because I just went so fucking hard in the paint when I was a teenager that I just got it.

You over did it. Totally got out of my system. You definitely, you definitely eventually is just like, this is this I I can't even really I try but I'm like oh man it's like when nine year olds it's like when nine year olds like drink beer until they're until they graduate high school and then they're like I'm done are you talking about me are you trying to throw shots of me is that you did you start drinking with your nine high school I don't know in high school I didn't do when I was in Catholic school I remember there was a kid his name was Michael he brought in

he would bring in this is like by the way I'm like oh my God like nine or like 10 this kid would bring in beer and like chug it in the bathroom kid was drunk in a fucking nine year old classroom every fucking day

I don't know what the hell I don't know what happened to him I'm sure he's probably dead like I kind of like started not really caring about the whole porn thing but then a quarantine happened This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain brought to you in part by Vital Farm

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And I've been separated from my, my woman for I never I never overdid it and I'm not overdoing it like when I was like 14 I overdid it and like I was out of commission for like a little while

like I was like a broken down car I can't do this right now that's when I got my first computer The thing that blew my mind The thing that blew my mind was when This is before I even had a laptop I had a PSP Oh yes

And it was an internet browser on the PSP It was like it was basically dial up With how long you had to wait For things to load up on it But like that was that was the opening of the floodgates for me the PSP was not a PlayStation portable

it was a porn station portable no nice that was literally a headline on Fox News hey well hey oh every no one you could uh you're smart enough to work at Fox News no thanks

so the quarantine yo so the quarantine actually did open my eyes to a big avenue of only fans and I actually just put out a tweet about this because there's a lot of, I guess, there's a lot of women that are savvy. They'll have a paid account,

and then I'll have one that's free, that'll have, like, ludes on it or something suggestive every once in a while, and then maybe they'll have something behind a pay gate every once in a while. But so my thing was I'm like, okay, I'm not going to subscribe to your only fans. I'm not going to do it.

There's just too much porn anywhere if you wanted to watch porn. However, these free accounts, this is pretty cool. So it kind of introduced me to that, which I didn't really know about because I just, like, I'm not really that into this stuff. But I've seen four girls that I've known throughout the years.

They're on only fans now because of the quarantine. They're just like, fuck it, why not? And then all four of them have, like, follow for free. And then I was just like, so that's what your fucking ass looks like. So that's what your tateas look like. That's pretty cool. I was like, that really, that really actually made me kind of, because, you know, sometimes you see, like,

you have a friend and she's very attractive. you're like, I bet you look good naked. But you know, you're just friends. But now. Right, right. You're doing it wrong, Derek. I understand. I'm not doing it wrong.

You don't fucking, what, should I be like trying to flirt with every fucking girl I know just so I can see them naked? What do you suggest? I'm just saying, bro. If you, if you, I'm not going to say that. I have a girlfriend. I'm not going to say this. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to get myself in trouble for no.

Son of a bitch. Yeah, no, I understand the only, the only, the only, the only, the only, It makes it makes it makes sense because the longer I thought about it I was like okay These are people that like people are like vaguely aware it's not just like a random Woman on some website that who's like nudity means very little yeah yeah that's it I still I couldn't imagine it's fucking genius like literally what they do is the free the free accounts Get people until there's the first step you know you're like oh man exactly you know and like it's free now but like what's five dollars you know Yeah yeah you start to you start you start you start it's the first step you know it's

It's like, it's basic marketing. It's like you start to think like, I've dropped $5 on less. You know, right, right? It's, it's a fucking, thousand people start doing that shit. It's literally free to play, dude. It's, it's exactly what it is. Like, I just, I didn't, I didn't, yeah, it totally is. It's like buy the power up on fucking War of Clans.

Yeah, like, Fortnite. It's like, oh, man, I paid this game for like 20 hours. What's $10 for the season pass, you know? It's, it's like, what's $10? And then I totally get it because, like, there was one time where I was like, I was just morbidly curious what Pornhub premium was. And I was like, it's pretty well. It's pretty nice.

I enjoy it. Well, I remember like I was just so curious about it because I'd been, I'd been using Pornhub for like years at that point. I was like, I was like, ah, you know what? I've been using this website for a long time. I'm morbidly curious. I have the money to throw around. I'll check it. I'll see what the big deal is.

It's just, it's just 4K stuff. It's basically just like stuff that's way too. high death. It was pretty much like it was it was free over the beginning of the quarantine. Oh was it? Yeah and as soon as it was free one of my homies like yo bro you got to get on this and I was it's like well what of course I'm gonna get on this I'm not stupid. But I'm not dumb of course I got to do this and I was like oh it's just pretty nice and I can watch anything now there's no oh you got to have a fan that's like no I'm one of them now all right let me download you download stuff from it right yeah I was I was fucking in there like

swimwear. Crazy. That's not so bad. That's pretty good. But, uh, yeah, I don't know. I don't want to talk about porn this whole time. But, but, uh, what were even talking about? I don't know.

I hate, God damn it, yet again. You can't stay on track. You introduced the, start with Joe G. Hold on. This started with Joe G. God, fucking damn it. Yep. Fuck this.

Let's move on to questions. Christ Almighty. Holy cut. I'm so genuine. I'm actually fucking so mad. That was great. That was great. Fucking cucked me, man. Fucking James Passmore wrote in. Hey James.

No, actually, fuck this question. I'll move on later. Hold on. I'll save your question for later. This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain. Brought you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs to be exact. My favorites. The only kind I've got in my fridge.

No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata.

And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at VitalFarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified B corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit

VitalFarms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome.

I think I saw Billboard of years recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder, and our army grows.

So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open.

Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. Because this one is a little bit more relevant to what we did the fucking train that we've just gone on.

Connor King wrote in. He says, Hello, Sentient Cheekbones, Black Chad, and Shattered Ribs. Is that me? No, it's just, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, fuck. Man, you're the only one here who's shattered their ribs. You're black chad though, I'm pretty chattish. Yeah, that's my, I'm black chad, yeah. No, Chris. You're cheek, no, black chad is my, so fucking weird. Black chad's the name of my second channel. Just, just, just let you know. Yeah, it is. I think, I think he, whatever.

What are some of the weirdest kinks slash fetuses that you guys have heard of? Please kinkshame us. I did a video a long time ago about dating sites that catered to very specific ones. And I actually did a video on one specifically. But the one that I found that was the strangest and I wasn't convinced was real until they reacted to my video was there was a Tumblr fan site. about near-sighted boys. People who were just wore glasses who were blind, but specifically near-sighted.

I don't understand today. I didn't understand during, and I didn't understand before what the appeal could have possibly been. I thought it was a satire, and then I made a video kind of making fun of it, and then they deleted it, which is how I knew it was real,

because you don't delete parody. I think I saw that. I think I remember that, actually. It was called The Boys in the Blur. And that was probably the strangest one. Aside from like the obvious strange one, that's like, I like to gargle diarrhea and shit in my fucking pants. Like that's a whole other level.

The fucking guys that dress like babies. It's like, what the fuck is your deal, bro? What's your fucking malfunction, bro? You ever see those TLC shows where they're like, I like to live my life as a big baby? Yeah. And they just sit in cribs and like suck on their nuts all day. It's fucking sick on their own fucking nuts.

That's what babies do, baby. He's sucking it all fucking nuts. Like fucking cats. Like cats. That's pretty fucking flexible, man. That's a bendy baby, bro. You got to give it to them. I respect that baby.

That baby's fucking limber. Jesus Christ. Oh, man. Yeah, the fetishes, I don't know. There are all these things. It always, I would say 99.9% of the times stems from trauma. Like I, okay, so I was just talking to this girl. fucking smoking hot it was ridiculous

I'm like well what's going on here and then I started asking her some questions and we got to a point where she said that she was talking to a guy that liked to be dick shamed because he had a small penis so basically when he sent nude and she was trying to be like nice

about it even though it was probably like I don't know a two incher or some shit I don't know and two three I don't know what the fuck it was but it was really small and then he replied with no don't you think it's really fucking tiny don't you want to talk shit on it and you know just basically just really degrading himself and i was like okay this had to have happened when he was about to bang a chick right and then she just laughed and then it's stuck with him and now he just and i got him there yeah got him there he was

like i need this that's so uncomfortable man dude that's uh for for me the weird ones of the um i think they're the furkins is that what they called or like the people that think that they're animals like oh other kin other kin other kint yeah that shit fucking terrifies me bro is that a fetish though or is that like a disability deep disability do some of them claim it's not but i i think it just like furries i think it's it's it's it's a kink you know what i mean look guys i've vocalized my um my feelings regarding furries before i've made it very vocal but um furries are not other kins Yeah, they're different. Don't disrespect fairies like that.

Well, no fact, actually, every time, there were some days during the week where I would come home really late, and I would see, like, Sweeney would be in the corner dressed as a horse, as a big little horsey. You know what's crazy? You know what's really funny?

Chris, one time I came home really late, and I saw you just as a Zelda and a bunch of black men leaving your room. It's pretty crazy. You seem very tired afterwards, too. I do not know why. I saw you dress as Zelda. I'm fucking leaving for a week.

I'm taking a vacation, dude. Star tank on hold. So is it on hold? So I'm done. I'm out of there. So is it okay if like, is, is it cool if he just dressed like, let's just say dressed like master chief and then a bunch of black dudes come out of his room. Is that, is that acceptable?

I would like, I would like, Chris, what are you doing? Are you fucking, what are you doing in there? They want master chief to join the basketball team. man we're about to have some tryouts you know those fucking videos are fucking insane I'm like Chris what are you doing in there why are you dressed as master chief

what are you doing? Well okay first off that's a stupid question okay so please elaborate what you're doing in there this master chief please it's so stupid and please enlighten me if I could dress if I could

if I could dress like Master Chief I would do it I would do that immediately why would at that moment why would you yeah and why are there four black men that are at least six feet two in the room with you.

We have wearing the tightest of underwear. They're the brutes. Oh. Okay. Okay. Okay, man. Yeah, but I don't know. I'm not shaming you.

I'm just saying I'd have questions. I need to see that, John. I'm sorry. Whoever's listening. Yeah, guys. You have a call it duty. You have a duty to truck that scenario. I want to see it just like the fucking meme where the girl is sitting down crisscross applesauce on the white couch. Holy shit.

And there's just four guys behind her. And it needs to be a frisked. Did you know that there's a B movie kink? This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain. Brought you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs to be exact. My favorites.

The only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine. all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm

they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at vitalfarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit vital farms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of

recently that said 20 billion one 20 million is an insane number yeah 20 billion recovered it's actually i think somewhere north probably closer to 22 23 after this year and each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on awesome so how does someone get in contact with morgan and morgan what would i do if i got into an accident probably the easiest way is dialing pound law that's pound 529 from your cell phone we are always open our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show.

Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. What? Like, actually, there are people who like, get off to B movie. What do you mean by that? What do you think I, what could I possibly mean by the English words that I'm speaking to you? What is kinky about the beat? I don't, I'm... I don't know. I'm telling you that this is a thing that I've seen. Oh my God.

That doesn't sound real. I'm not a scientist. I'm not a fucking, you know, a fucking Oracle. I can't tell you what the fuck's going on in the heads, these people. I have had enough. You haven't had enough.

Do you think that's like genuinely real though? Like, it's... Here's the problem. Here's the problem with stuff that like, oh, is it real or is it not? The problem is, if something starts out as a joke, it will become real for people anyway. It's like the, um,

it's like the Setsuan sauce thing Like when the, you know, where it's like It's a joke, yeah But then it like manifests into like a very real thing To the point where like even something that's meant to be a joke Like I'm pretty confident that like diaper fetishists And like even other can I think other can as an as an identity as like a thing Started as a joke

And I think people some people were like oh yeah That explains me That explains me That must be why howl at the moon every day while I fucking drool all over my my own asshole I think you're right I think you're right

that's what it means it means do you guys remember sorry did you guys ever see that news report it was in Texas of it was around the time when Twilight came out and there was these dumb ass teenagers putting tails

on and they were basically they were were were were were were were wolves and they would actually go to school like that. Do you remember that? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because I thought that, and I think to your point, I thought somebody was fucking around, and then a bunch of people started doing it. And I just, it was one of those things where I'm like, I, it was my first introduction to anything that fucking stupid. And I, I was like, when are they going to say psych? You know, I thought like, where's Ashton Coucher? Yeah, like, it never came. You know, that piece of the shit never came. Oh dude, do you guys

I'm sorry, like you mentioned Ashton Cudcher Punk, Zach Braff was on an episode and he like... Oh yeah, and he beat up a child, right? Yeah, he whooped on some kid. He beat up a kid. Yeah. So I think I think the story was that like a kid was supposed to like key his car as part of the prank or something and I guess

Zach Braff is faster than that everybody thought he was. So he just, he just sparked. Carton charged up to this fucking 12-year-old and started wailing on him. Started punching his eyes out like Mark Wahlberg did that Vietnamese man. And he just... Wait, wait, you mean when he went with the vehicle? What?

No, no, no, he didn't run him over. No, the kid vandalized Zach Brass vehicle as a prank and then ran away, but Zach caught up to him and then whooped on him. He fucking savagely beat him. Savagely. Nice. Yeah, they didn't air the episode, apparently. Yeah, he was like the kid, the kid basically died.

He functionally, he functionally collapsed. I think, yeah, I think what happened was Zach Brath, like, he, he grabbed his leg and he slammed him against the concrete, and then he caved his skull in with a shovel that he happened to have in his back pocket. And then Ashton Coochard came out of the bushes. He says, wait, Zachary Brath, don't kill that child, but it was too late. It was too late. It was too late. And then they just agreed.

They just agreed not to air the episode Every time Ashton It's super embarrassing Says stop, it's already too late He's already did it You know, Jack Braff is a violent man He actually absolutely is

But you know, I think When it comes to that episode I actually I remember now This is, it might be a Mandela thing Because I thought I remember Seeing that episode So this is what it might be either

A Mandela Or what they did was they actually did air it And then they cut out the part where he whipped the kid or it was a reenactment because I specifically remember Zach Braff yelling at a kid for spray painting is his expensive-ass car and now so I'm kind of like I want to look that up because they said oh it never aired so I'm like what if they just it's a reenactment they cut out the beating or you know Mandela I don't know which one it is but I also specifically remember sorry I remember Red Foreman coming out

and he's calling him a dumbass So now we can safely say that Derek has dementia Because he's remembering fusing realities Two TV shows Completely different from each other Just fusing in this one ashton contra-punk episode I mean

Tofer Grace Tofer Grace fucking trips Zach Braff off a skyscraper and plummets into the grave. Tofa Gray shows up as venom. Yeah, he's fucking movies. He's just like, Hey man. Toby McGuire shows up on a fucking horse.

Oh my God. What was that Z-Biscuit? You're talking about Seaman Biscuit, right? Seaman Biscuit. That was a good one. That was a good. That's disgusting, bro. That's so gross.

You know how the Biscuit is going to. to soak it all up too? It's so crumbly. It's so crumbly and creamy. Yes. It's so fucking heinous. Dude, that's almost as bad as the fucking cum-filled Twinkie. Somebody in our Patreon,

somebody in our Patreon, I think his name is 23 Rainbow, insists that his dad in high school threw Toby McGuire into a trash can. Every time I stream 23 is like, promise it happened. I promise. I'm like 23 like I don't disbelieve you but we need some sort of fucking confirmation. Yeah, I need to see 23. I need to see and this could be just for us personally. You don't have to post this like publicly or anything but I need to see your ID. I need to make sure that your last name matches your father's last name in the yearbook that he shares with Toby

McGuire because if that, if I can't get that then I will assume that this is a ridiculous story. although the thought of someone's dad just throwing Toby McGuire in a trash can in high school is pretty funny and I would love to believe that that's true Hey come here nerd it's pizza times fucking throws him in the trash He says that years Can you imagine being that guy though

Can you imagine being that guy and then watching Spider-Man Like I threw fucking Spider-Man in the garbage I'm a fucking god Great accomplishment I'm basically Venom What we have here? Bat Vermin the 10th, wrote in. This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms.

Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs, to be exact. My favorites, the only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life.

That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at vitalfarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture.

Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit vital farms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open, our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan. For Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm, thanks for coming by the show.

Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. Yeah, 10th. He says greetings dark chocolate, semi-sweet chocolate, and bleached cow bones in the Mojave. Holy fuck. Damn, he went fucking hard on you. That's clever enough, I appreciate it. He tore you down, bro. You bitch. No, he built me up. You know how strong a cow is? They're sacred in India. Did you ever have a moment? Did you ever have a moment as a kid? where you said something incredibly racist without ever knowing it due to childhood innocence. For me, I screamed the N-word at Syndrome while watching the Incredibles at five years old

because all I knew about it was it's the worst thing you could call someone. Fun fact, my half-black friend was right next to me. Oh, wow. That must have been awkward. I don't even know if I have an answer for this, but that story. I cracked me up Unfortunately growing up as a black man I very much understood race

At a young age So I mostly never said very racist things I did for a long time Referred to Asian people as Orientals Oh right That's like a very 1950s It's not the worst thing you can do Because it's just like

Oriental is a Is it like an object Like an inanimate object Like or a place It's like a noun that's not alive I guess. Yeah. That's a good way to put it.

I definitely understand people could not be happy about that. But like, I usually never screamed racial epithets. I just, the image of a kid just screaming at syndrome in the incredible. It's so good. Like fucking team star.

This self-righteous Anward syndrome. Is doing this shit. It's doing this shit. I love it Fuck with me, bro. I'd be like, why'd he say that? Yeah, I don't know if I ever

I think when I was a kid, I remember thinking the chickety china, the Chinese chicken song was pretty funny. Oh. But I never like sang it. I never like sang it to a Chinese person.

That's bare naked ladies, right? You're talking about that? I don't know if it's bare naked ladies or it's like a thing that kind of existed. as like a joke song that the bare naked ladies like ripped off or like kind of like included because it doesn't seem like something that originated from that song

The Chinese the Chinese chicken Like why would you write that at an For for no reason That seems like such a weird lyric Yeah Fucking laws man Probably I do have one example of me being

Racist But it was because this kid Nick It was in elementary school He was being a bitch And I had nothing against him until he was, there was a rocking chair that I would sit in. And he just, yeah, my elementary school was like a, it was a little private elementary school and he had a normal desk.

A grandmother's living room? A fucking rocking chair? Well, look at the, there was the normal desk and then when you had like playtime or recess or whatever the fuck you call it, there was, there was designated areas where you can play. One of them had like a rocking chair. And so I just, I kind of claimed it. I just did, you know, and people just knew what I sat at it. And then Nick just took it upon himself.

Nick was a, I think it was Chinese. I'm not sure it doesn't matter, but he just sat in my seat. And I was like, hey, that's my seat. And then he just literally ignored me. And then fucking, that's when it just, the genius idea of me, I was like, hey, ping pong, like get out of my chair. You know? And like, that was.

No, no, I have already. moment okay so that that was pretty much it but it escalated from there but it's it's fine we're we're fucking 10 or something who cares yeah so i think i've already told this story but um as some people may not know i was raised by a Hispanic grandmother she's half Hispanic but she's Hispanic unless so me one day i was in math class and literally one of my other classmates i was he was a she was a latin kid and i was I was just like, oh la,

Miguel, do you have the answers for this question? And he was like, dude, I've been in your class for the last four years.

Why did you say that to me? It's just like, and literally I thought back and I could not figure out why I said that to him. I had no clue. I've known him. I've seen that kid

more than I've seen most people in my school, but I just decided to say, oh la, me go. I thought I was making it more comfortable to him. I was like, I'm just going to approach him in a language that he'll understand much better to smooth over the situation. Yeah, we had a, well, I don't want to say we had a friend

because he's still a friend of ours, but one of my friends, his name's Steve. Oh, in, yeah, yeah, backdizzle. This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs to be exact. My favorites, the only kind of got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously. Side of the carton, you'll find the farm name.

Type it in at vitalfarms.com slash farm and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pastor. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.

So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow.

Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. He, when I met him, when I met him in, I think, junior high, I nicknamed him Cuban for no reason

He's like he's Filipino Very Filipino I don't know why I don't know what part of me Thought that that made sense But it did at the time And that name stuck for a real long time I don't know if that's really racist

So much as it is just like dumb But a little bit of both They usually tend to go ahead Yeah yeah It's probably vaguely vaguely racist But I don't know like just the idea of kids Kids being like racist Without understanding

it is just really funny. But I don't think we have, I don't think any of us have a story that tops, yelling the Edward at syndrome. Yeah, it's pretty. Syndrome's so not black. Yeah, it's just the thought of a fucking child's voice uttering that word at a fucking Pixar character. Out of anger. That's what makes even funny.

He's mad. How could you betray the Incredibles? You miss. I feel so strongly about it. You just know it's bad so you say it. Like, people do that. It's just so fucked up. Like, a lot of people don't mean that, I'm pretty sure.

Well, that is. No, it hurts. He's no, it's not okay. It's funny, though, because it's like the logic that he uses, like, when he was a kid, because it's like, I just know it's the worst thing to call somebody. It's definitely, like, the logic that people probably still use when they say it. Yeah. Like, because I've definitely, I've definitely heard people who are, like, very socially progressive say that word.

I definitely been mad enough. I definitely been mad enough to be like, yeah, I'm just going to say it. It's, it's. Because it really is just a word that, like, displays just the ultimate amount of anger, even if it's just completely, like, not directed. It's just chimpanzee shit. It's just, like, you're fucking at the end of your rope. Yeah, it really is. It is very ape brain, like, like, back of your stupid, like, instinct head.

Like, it just goes, like, oh, man, I need to, I need to, I need to say something really foul. Exactly. Especially now when, like, especially now when just every curse word is just kind of. bland and basic because the internet exists and you could just say whatever you want on the internet and you know people don't really care that much if you say fuck or shit uh it's it's like think about like back dude south park had a whole episode dedicated to saying shit um like a bunch of times and they had a counter for every time they would say the word in the episode and they said it like i think over a hundred times or something over 150 at least and that was like considered an edgy

thing to say shit on television, so much so that they made a point to count how many times they had said it. And now if that were to happen today, no one would even fucking notice. Like, it wouldn't even be a box on anybody. It wouldn't tick any boxes on anybody's radars. It would be like, oh, okay, yeah, there's another show, I guess. Yep. You know? Yep. Yeah, so the only shit left is just really hurtful shit. It's wild. And we just, and it exists because of how much power we gave it and the thing is if it was any other word

say if any other word was given that much power then that's the word that everybody would defer to like they would go for that word because it's what we like you said that ape shit that chimp shit we just subconsciously go to the most offensive thing it's kind of like say when that whole PewDiePie thing happened

you know that's what he like he reached for the gamer word you know he reached for it and it's just like fucking did you see that video on it's on Twitter where somebody scrubbed it where they edited it out perfectly he just says asshole, right? Because he does say asshole afterwards,

but they edited it perfectly. It's a really well done edit. It's really good. It's pretty, uh, that's stuff that's freaking me out, honestly, just how easily it is to like manufacture video. I saw this deep fake of Nathan Philean playing Nathan Drake from Uncharted the other day.

I think it was literally last night. And it looks like the game. It just, there's, and there's no, What's astounding to me is that there's no editing happening. It's just an AI that's just an Instagram filter that does... Who the fuck has the gall to text me right now? Why? But yeah, it's just an Instagram filter that just projects something onto it and just rewires,

just does on the spot CG. And it's just how the... It's crazy. Like, I feel like we're getting to a point where it's going to be really difficult to even verify, like what actually is said. Yeah. Yeah, we're almost there. I mean, because between deep fakes and, for example, the Jordan Peterson voice generation.

Did you hear that shit? Like, where? Yeah, the voice shit. They shut it down, though, didn't that? Yeah, they shut it down because Jordan Peterson was crying about it, and it just made everyone so sad. But I get it from his point of view because there's a lot of people that would use it for malicious purposes. But everybody else was just having fun. I literally got to it too late.

I got to it too late. I was going to fucking use that shit fuck shit I like a quick fuck I like a quick fuck I'm a dick suck I enjoy a sick suck I've made him fucking

rap to Kanye I made him rap to uh Tupac's head him up and I was having a fucking great time with it it was so good I would have made him say

one of my very few quotes and I would have been like it would have been yeah it's a shame because that's a pretty good I mean I guess he's not in the entertainment sphere but that's amazing marketing

to have something like that right yeah um although yeah Yeah, I do understand, like, the weird aspect of it where it's like, if you could, if anybody could make you say anything that they wanted, it could get uncomfortable. It really could. It could get dangerously, like, illegal.

You know, somebody could say some shit that make you say something really incriminating. Yeah. And so that's where it's like, okay, I guess. But come on, man, 99.9% of us were just trying to have fun, Jordan. At least leave it up for a month, bitch, you know? Yeah. I don't have anything else. I would have done some fuck shit.

You did the smart thing, Jordan. I was on my way. As soon as I heard about that shit, I was like, oh, jackpot, you got rid of this. It's just crazy. Like, you can just make anybody say anything. You can make anybody do anything now with, like, the CG shit. What's worse is that people are just not going to, it's just going to be, no one can prove anything. So people's going to get away with fuck shit then.

Look, that was a deep fake. It was a deep fake. I didn't go in it and nurse free and set those babies on fire. Someone put my face on that. It's like, what the fuck? Like, okay. Yeah, it wouldn't even be a stupid It wouldn't even be a dumb defense

Like 50, like 10 years ago even Like if you had said that's not me Someone CGIed my face on that person Like you'd be laughed out of the fucking room You'd be like what? What? You're going to jail? What, you think James Cameron just stole the footage And CGI'd your stupid face on this

On this murderer that's caught on camera Murdering 12 people, you idiot? Get the fuck out of here But now you can just hold up an Instagram camera You just hold them an Instagram filter to a to a murder and put fucking, I don't even know Jerry Seinfeld's face on OJ at the OJ trial. Oh my fucking God. Suddenly you're just looking at alternate history. It's crazy.

You put fucking Kramer's face on fucking bin Laden. It's just like, what the fuck? And it's like, Kramer's like, I didn't do that. I may have said something and I regret, you know, I may have snapped at a fucking comedy venue one day, but I had nothing to do. Dude, I forgot about that. I forgot about that. That was one of the first, that was one of the first major celebrity,

I don't even know what to call it. I wouldn't call it a breakdown, because he didn't, it wasn't a breakdown. Phopaz, a bit too light also. Debacles? Yeah, I guess so. Like, that was one of the first celebrity debacles that I could remember, like, being cognizant of.

Like, I know that, like, Michael Jackson, and, like, there was shit, like, preceding it. But that was the first time that I remember seeing something, like, in real time. and like how the internet reacted to it. Because that was like, I think, 2006. It was like the original, it was like the original Keemstar. Yeah, he's the original Keemstar.

He just let it go. He snapped, and he was on fucking curb after that, which is hilarious. Kramer, Kramer walked so Keemstar could run. Damn, dude. Back then, we used to shove pitchforks up your ass or something. I just remember him saying something like that. I'm like, damn, dude, calm down. crazy shit.

I was like, bro, it's not that serious, dude. Just make fun of him about being black suddenly. Don't use the hard R.

Don't use Nigel Gerald. It's pretty wild. That video is, uh, it's weird because that video is so old now. Like, that's actually like,

that's, Jesus Christ, that's like 15, 14 years old at this point. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. That's all, like,

I don't even think, I've, 2010 was 10, years ago, dude. That is a little nuts. That is a little nuts. That's insane, bro. Well, I was just reminded of that because I randomly woke up to, like, this riff,

this guitar riff of my head. And I was thinking about, like, when I wrote it, it was, I wrote in 2008. And I was like, holy shit. That was fucking 12 years ago. And it's amazing how drastically the internet has changed in that time. Like, it's actually, like, phenomenally different. Which is weird because, like, you don't really think about it like that because, yeah, you don't really think about it like that because it's like, it's all,

kind of the same sites. Like Twitter was around back then and like 2009 and like Facebook exists and like YouTube's been around since 05. So like the internet's kind of the same, but it's also like functions entirely fucking differently. Yeah, it's wild. Like Twitter in 2009 was hilarious. Yo. There was a lot of comedians saying dumb shit. Yeah.

That's how James Gunn got fired. To tweets from like 2009. This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs, to be exact. My favorites, the only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most

people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at vitalfarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle, and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today?

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?

What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan.

From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for thepeople.com for an office near you. Like I remember there'd be times where I would be on Twitter one of my friends He was like really in the basketballs like that So you know he would go on Twitter and he had like quite a few followers at the time and I was like Then yeah quite a few followers and then like the shit you would hear like I remember there was this one guy called Arthur

Who was in a this is gonna be quite a story okay But we were used to play We used to just go on Twitter and make fun of this one kid and literally he we found out Come to find out, he was a dick, you know, he was a huge asshole. Come to find out he was in a wheelchair. So my friend John, one of my friends was like, Arthur is the last nigga you unlock in Mario Kart. And I was just like, whoa, whoa. I was like, I can't be a part of this anymore.

I can't be a part. It was a wild land. You could say whatever you fucking thought. Yeah, no, that was like an entirely different ecosystem. I would love it was like that, so. That'd be fucking amazing. I mean, it probably would have gotten old by now. That's true.

Like, there's only so many things you could say. Give us one day of it. Like one day of the old worries. One day of the old Twitter. Dude, it was insane. Like, I don't even think it's even close to the same website. I would have people as far as, like, user, I could say anything I wanted.

I have people's jaws dropping if I had just one day to just go fucking all out. I mean, you could do whatever you wanted. You're still free to do that. Twitter. Twitter is kind of like how. I hopefully make my well-being now So like I'm not gonna do that But like once upon a time

Oh man The memories Yeah you gotta be careful There's always one dickhead That'll report you There's always one Well do you remember Mr. Jameson When you type the N word on Twitter

And I'll be like Oh man really How do you know it's me It's not that hard to find out Once I looked far enough into your history It's yeah Your online history is Fucked

By the very virtue that it exists You should probably Look in This is probably the one time I would say Look into yourself And maybe Start doing a little bit of scrubbing

If you haven't done that already No I'm I'm totally fine With whatever people find My Twitter Yeah same same Is better now Like definitely I never let To get too out of control

There was one time I sent Chris some very Not respectful messages And I got And I got I got Did you get suspended for that? I got suspended for a little while and I was like, oh shit.

And then it was another time where I saw a video of some guy beating a dog and I said something very, uh, I said something that wasn't that bad. I was like somebody should fucking revoke this guy from life. Like some guy had to press pause on his guy's fucking head. Something like that. And they fucking suspended me for that. And I was like, okay. It's probably that fucking guy. He was looking at that thread.

He was like, okay. Fuck this dude. I think it's because I got enough, because I got like 1,000 likes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So it was like, so it was noticeable. So, like, oh, you got to get rid of that, which really sucks because, like, he should have had his life pause. He was beating a dog.

That's pretty fucked up. Yeah. I don't understand. That's one thing that I don't think I'll ever understand that shit. Harming animals? The weird, like, people who, like, kick cats. Dude, did you see that fucking, that woman that was, uh, I mean, she looks, she was probably in early 20s. She was boxing her dog.

Like, she had, what? She was boxing her dog. She had boxing gloves, like, probably like, I don't know, 14. probably 16 ounce gloves on and she was straight up hitting her dog like full force like the dog was kind of trying to play but she was hitting it hard enough

to where it was yelping and like jabbing it in the fucking nose like where you know the most sensitive part of their body and it was insane so of course the internet docks that shit out of her and then people are looking into her but um yeah honestly honestly fucking honestly fucking

honestly good honestly good like fucking I'll just fall asleep at the wheel fucking bitch That's so fucked on, man Yeah, that's an extra fuck Oh yeah, 100%. Let's move on to this next one. Metal Gino 14 wrote in.

It says, Hello, voices in my head. Best of wishes, oh my God, that's scary. Best of wishes to you three and your loved ones. Do you guys have any guilty pleasures of any kind? Mine is some rap music, parentheses. I mainly listen to metal. That's fair.

I understand that. I don't know if I have any, I don't know if I have enough shame to have a guilty pleasure. I just like the things that I like. And if you're, if you think poorly of me because of that, then that's fine. Like, I just don't, yeah, I don't know if I care. We're very much so don't give a fuck kind of house here. Yeah. Like, everything I like, I, I, I'm very proud of the fact that I like it. Um, I don't know. Any guilty pleasures? What's, I mean, my, my, my lively thing, I guess. But that's, but that's, but that's,

Yeah, much less so now. Like, I've definitely lost my appetite for a little bit, which makes me really sad because, like, I used to be fucking started. You just sent, I think not even like a few days ago, you showed me a video of a man being cooked on power lines. So I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, but I didn't like it. I used to laugh at that shit for hours. Now I'm just like, man, I feel bad for him. I hope he's okay.

No, no, no, you walked into my room smiling and said, Chris, look at this. No, no, no, I showed you that one. That video I showed you were on a couch. And I was like, dude, look, this is fucked. Another video of some guy getting beat up hit like a thousand times and getting kicked on his head. That I was laughing ass off. That's funny. That's funny. Yeah.

Jesus Christ. What about you, Derek? And he's a little dirty secrets? Not really. I'm kind of like you guys where, you know, I like what I like. There's some things that I do feel like weird about, say, for example, if I'm driving, if I'm out driving and there's certain things that I won't like just blast at the, top of my you know i won't i won't turn i won't crank it up to 11

yeah yeah yeah you're not gonna blast fucking caramel dancing out of your yeah i can't blast fucking jeanette mercurdy's fucking music or fucking rana cosgo's music fucking loud while i'm driving being a big black man that i am i can't fucking i can't blast dua lupa and shit like that

but it's it's so funny basically i totally i it's so funny because i just do it i totally blast like garbage i can't man i can't move from with if i'm with my friend I can blast anything because it just becomes fun, especially if somebody else gets a little uncomfortable. That's always pretty great.

But when I'm by myself, like, say, I really enjoy the band Baby Metal. They're like the J-pop metal band. And because they actually do have some really fucking insanely good talented stuff. But then they have a lot of that bubble gum J-pop stuff mixed into it. And so if that shit's playing, I have to turn it down. I can't be at a red light. And then some other niggas across me. I was saying you just hear these fucking girls all high-pitched and sounding all cute.

He was like, you know, you just, you just feel weird. You're like, it's almost like, it's almost like pulling your dick out, you know, like where it's just like, yeah, yeah, it's my dick. I'm cool with my dick. But at the same time, you probably would be a little bit embarrassed just pulling it out in public and everybody can just see it. You know what I mean? I would not at all. No, man. If I wouldn't go to jail for it, I would put my dick out all the time.

If I would not go to Joe for it, I would pull my dick out. I have nothing. I am very proud of my penis. I would have no problem pulling it out if I wouldn't. getting trouble for it. I think the thing with music specifically is just blasting.

No, no, I mean, we're talking about the same thing. The idea of like blasting like something like really like almost cringe-worthy that you would listen to just at full volume, like no shame.

That's essentially, that's essentially like saying like, hey, my dick is 10 hours long. Hours. It's going to take you 10 hours to get to the end of it. Hours. It doesn't matter

to the means of transportation. Yeah, it's almost 10 hours. It's almost like I'll pull up to your house blasting fucking the Zoe 101 theme song and your girlfriend will still

cop in my fucking passenger seat. I'll pull up to your house and I'll fucking rub my dick against your face from the outside of your house. Oh my God. Like a fucking doctor octopus tentacle. Nah, like a fucking

like the shit they fucking fumigate houses with. Like all the way outside your house. Yeah. Derek. Hypothetical. Hypothetical.

You're hanging out. It's like a college party. It's like a kegger. People are just hanging out. They're chugging beer. Maybe there's like, maybe the movie accepted featuring Justin Long is playing on the TV in the living room. But it's on mute.

Okay. So nobody's really watching it because the music's blaring. And you're, you're passed out on the couch, right? And then one of your friends says to your other friends, he says, hey, watch this. Gets himself real hard and fucks your nose real quick. Just plunges his penis into your nose. Like just once.

One deep thrust and then out again. and then your nostril is kind of like all expanded and loose and like flappy. Do you do you still hang out with them after that even though you have to permanently like cinch your nose shut with a fucking clamp? I might go to jail for murder. I might actually, I might. Here's one thing. You have one big nostril. You know what's crazy?

You have one big nostril. You will never. I'm sorry. If you put your nose, your eyeball would probably pop out a little bit too. Dude, that's fucking. crazy but not that's like that the idea the thought of one of my friends doing anything with his dick or bodily fluids to me because i know there's like frat boys that do fucking stupid shit like that i don't fuck around like that no i would fight you immediately i probably would go to jail

and absolutely would we not be cool because i'm just like what the fuck is wrong with you to think that shit's funny you know it's just it's not you got to be fucking what's wrong with you that you thought like touching the touching the tip of your penis to my brain stem through my nostril was a good idea like how dare you? That's straight up sexual assault like it's right it's essentially rape it's straight up sexual assault like

it's not sexual assault it's straight up you're fucking someone while they're asleep in their nose something that they that's not even fucking possibly that's not even that's not even fucking fun that's not even a good it's not even gonna feel good for you you're just gonna literally be harassing somebody yeah and your brain is probably gonna get indented a little bit and you're probably going to like remember things wrong like you're going to like

every now and your eyes are going to fucking fall out the socket because it fucking had a dick thrust past it so aggressively you're fucking night sight you're gonna you're gonna be in the hospital and you're gonna be like I can't wait to see my mom and then you're like imagining like a completely different person and your mom walks in it's like I've always been your mother but your brain is so fucked from the penis she like her head looks like a dick yeah it's just everything you see like oh my god oh god I gotta get to the hospital and call my mom Katie Perry the singer that's my mom's your I mean, I'd be cool with that.

I'd be cool with that, man. I'm willing for her to fucking nurse me back to health. Oh, my God. But it's your mom. You'll be talking like Simple Jack after that. Oh, no. See, guys, we come full circle this way, right? That's good.

We're fucking, we got scripts. Yeah, we're fucking genuses, dude. That was great. The ancient Jojo wrote in. He said, if you could purge anything out of existence, what would it be? This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms.

Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs, to be exact. My favorites, the only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings.

They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously. Side of the carton, you'll find the farm name.

Type it in at VitalFarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle

and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more. VitalFarmes. Good eggs. No shortcuts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one.

20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.

for an office near you. I know what I would say about. I'm let you guys talk first. Yeah, we already know what you're going to say. Let's see. No, I know it's actually something different. Oh, okay. Well, you go, Chris.

You got anything? I, okay. It's hard for me. It's either mosquitoes or micro-transactions. I feel you. I feel like a world without, both of them would be ideal, but like a world without one or the other

is a pretty substantial step up from the current existence. I feel like the guy with the mosquitoes would severely fuck up like the world. No, it wouldn't. Suck my dick. This is bullshit. I think it would, but you know, whatever. I don't know it. I'm just saying I think it would. There's no way. There's no way they hold any

redeeming value. I think they've only... I think they've only... They're here to ravage the population. I think that's all it is. I think it's Mother Nature's defense. I think they just carry, I think they just carry viruses and disease and kill millions of people. I think that's all they do. I think they help the world, but like, I mean, they suck dick, so like I fucking hate them. What are you, what are you basing the assumption that they help the world off of?

Because most animals, like most bugs, they help, like, pollinate other things and help, like, freaking seeds of other things we put like other places to help them grow. There's plenty of bugs to do that though. You don't need mosquitoes. You know how many, you know how the whole bee thing happening? Like it's a lot of less bees on a planet? No,

no, no, that's not even true. That's not even true. That's, it's, that's, that's,

that's bullshit. I think it was like that for a little bit. It made of, the numbers may have bounced back a little bit. It was what it was people being stupid because there is so many bee farms. We're not going to run out of bees ever. That's, that's specifically what they,

do. But those aren't. No, it's, it's, we're fine. Wait, is that true?

Like, I don't know. It is definitely true. You can look that up that there, it was a misconception that were like, oh, the bees, they're dipping stuff like,

yeah, a bunch of them died, but people aren't going to let the beat. That's why they have the farms. That's why they, that's why they do it. And then they, they were poured in with their numbers.

It was kind of like say at one point, there was a shortage of pork. That was the, the rumor going on, but it was just the pork industry. They wanted people to buy more pork. And, It's just people just fucking say shit

And it's like no, then, and then we don't Check it afterwards. Like, is that actually true? Or did, or does someone just say it? It's like urban, it's like the, oh, you eat 10 spiders a year or something. Oh, yeah. I remember that ridiculous thing that was like everybody just sort of assumed to be basic common knowledge, even though it was just like complete bullshit.

Yeah, kind of like, or like say you shit 500,000 times a year. I'm just kidding. If you shit, that's a lot, bro. It's just a lot. fucking snaple fact that's a bunch of people being like you shit um a bunch more than a hundred times a day that's a lot dude that's a fucking a lot of shitting and what if you're like what if you're like you know like one day you're on fire and you shit like 300 times a day like you just that's a lot dude i i i'm actually curious to i guess there is an average right there is a real average out of

365 on average people go let's just say what once a day so it would say at least 300 a day three times a day is kind of a lot for average you think i think average is three i can check it right now that's insane that does seem there's no way it's three times a day i would i would have to say two at the very most on for average yeah there are a lot of people who just don't go for days yeah and and so there's no way there's no way that three is the average yeah that would shock me to my fucking core true i i learned and you know one thing i did learn about people that don't go for multiple days that it's actually normal

for them like if that's just how their system works like people we assume that it's like really bad you like you must be all fucked up what Sweeney

it's about three times man That's the average Day to three times a week is normal Oh well that's that's a Yeah So it's such a huge wait Wait

that's such a huge leap in Yeah That's like a completely different That's a completely different human being I guess there's the range That's the average trade. You shouldn't be shooting, you shouldn't be shooting like less than that in that. I guess the trial period. I don't know. That's weird. The trial period for

shitting? Like, like the trial by the trial, I mean like the test. Like how average how much did you ship per day, I guess? It's, that's a lot. Yeah. That's weird. Is it normal to poop 10 times a day? I just read. I don't think so. I don't. That's pretty crazy. That's like you're eating spoiled food all the time. time. Three times sounds I mean, okay, I guess it would make sense if you, okay, okay, so one thing that I have learned when I was a kid was that

on average you digest food in eight hours. It usually takes eight hours for the food to completely process and turn into waste. So I guess out of that would be like technically you could shit three times a day, but that just seems like it seems like so excessive. Like I kind of... It seems like a

speed run. I'm at two. Like I usually shit twice a day. I think that's reasonable Like in the morning and usually some more towards the end of the day or something like that. Yeah. I think that's pretty reasonable. I get one more chocolate baby out of me and then I'm done. Okay.

I think that's pretty reasonable. But I mean the first time, dude, I heard, I'll never forget this. This girl, her name's Amber. And she actually, we found out, say, in 2013, 2014 that she did a porn scene, which was pretty hilarious. We all downloaded it and were like, oh, remember her? But anyway, I remember her in my earth science class when I was a Jewish. junior or sophomore, whatever the fuck, we were talking about that for some reason. And then she said, without a joke or any type of, you know, she was just like, yeah, I shit

once a week. And everyone was like, get the fuck out of here. Like, that's not a thing. That's not real. And then it turns out that I know plenty of people that do close to once a week or I even dated the girl that was like, yeah, you know, maybe four, once every four days or something like that. And I was like, what the, I can't. It's like kids do that. Kids do that a lot.

I can't even fathom that shit, man. I can't even, it doesn't like, but I guess that's just, they're just like, I don't know, I don't think about it until like, that's fucking days later. But none of this is conventional wisdom, like, like, the average that people, like, people don't think about that really. They just, they're concerned with themselves. But, like, the whole B thing was like, I just, I just, assumed at the time that that was true because like oh what a weird thing to lie about

there's no people don't sell bees you know yeah yeah i don't really know about like no no i know i know they do but like when you're a but when you're a kid and you're just hearing this information it's like yeah they don't sell bees right bees are free i see all sorts of bees i don't know man i can buy a kid logic i kicked a bee into a kid's throat once that's pretty cool that's how free they're whatever i want that's not even a lie by the way that like actually Think about this. Think about the, so you guys heard about the murder hornets, right? Yeah. I keep hearing about this.

I don't. What is that? Okay. Is that a real thing? Yes. So here's the thing. It went pretty viral for a second. Like, oh my God.

Like another thing is happening, the murder hornets, these Asian hornets that are two inches long on average, which is pretty fucking big for a hornet. That's big. That's a mouse. That's a small mouse. It's kind of ridiculous. Showing them in people's hands, they're holding them. I was like, oh, my God. So people are like, oh, they show.

They showed up in Washington, D.C. Guess how many they saw? They saw two, and one died, and another one flew away. So that was what everybody was freaking out about. Everyone assumed that it was like a swarm showed up or something. They were like, we're fucked. And so it's just things could spread so quickly. And then, you know, it's just like misinformation.

And I think that's what happened with the bees. I don't know why it happened because I don't think there's, you know, like big farm. I don't think there's big bee or something. I don't think that's a thing. Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. Like, there's no big bee. Like, there's a big pharma. But, like, my assumption later on down the line,

because I remember reading that it wasn't true also. And my assumption was that, oh, maybe it was like a specific kind of, like, type of bee that was, like going extinct. Maybe. Like a species of bee. Because there's actually, like, a hilarious amount of bees, like species.

Like, way more than you're, way more than you think there are. Yeah. There's a lot of bees on his plant. Oh, my God. I'm seeing these fucking horn. for the first time, because I missed the wave of those murder hornets. I just, I immediately

was just like, they were up, it was just COVID-19 talk, and then I saw a meme that was like, geez, now we've got murder hornets, and I'm like, what? I just, I didn't know about that at all. It's fucking weird. It's weird how much, it's weird how, like, some places in Africa, Australia, have these fucking, fucking enormous roaches, too? Oh, yeah, there are roaches in Australia

that will fucking adopt your kid without you noticing. It's fucking insane. I can literally put your shoes on and walk around in them and you'll feel that someone walked around in your shoes. Yeah, and they'll laugh about it.

They'll fucking tap dance on your fucking rug. They're fucking clatter and fucking laugh at you because they're fucking disgusting. Yo, yo, speaking of abducting kids, did you see that monkey on the tricycle

trying to steal that kid? I don't know. Why? Did you see that? I showed you the video about the monkey trying to steal the kid? It wasn't on a tricycle though.

It was on a tricycle first. Oh, it got off. dragged a child away? Yeah. It almost successfully kidnapped a kid. Listen, if you don't think monkeys will steal children and eat them, you haven't been paying attention to the literature. Oh my God.

Have you seen that clip, Derek? Which one? The Joe Rogan clip of him talking about chimpanzees. Oh, yeah, yeah. Dude, the edited version of that clip is the greatest. That might be my favorite clip of all time on, on, like, you know, like. like any video platform of him talking about chimps like they'll rip your feet off and fuck your ass and it's like the most insane shit i love it yeah i think i think jo rogan is legitimately

jealous of chimp's power like i think he wants to be as strong as a primate and he's pissed off that he's not he talks about it a lot exactly i feel like there i feel like you could make an entirely new podcast and fuel it for at least like one to two hours a week from here on out without it making any new content of just audio of Joe talking about chimps. Like, I'm sure you could do it. You know what? There's an AI of Joe Rogan before the Jordan Peterson one where the guys making him talk about chimps playing hockey. I don't know if you heard that. I did. I did. That was creepy too. That's just another example of this fucking crazy

like what's real. Look, chimps are adorable when they're little. They have human eyes. Their faces are like, they have like, they have like, they You can kind of tell what emotion they're feeling. But you're right. You can't give them the same rights we have, man. Come on. That was like, um, they have, uh, they have so many, it's amazing just the amount of emotions that they can convey, uh, in the way that they rip your face off, you know? Like, oh, he, this is a, this is a, this is a, this is an I'm hungry face rip off.

Or like, oh, this is like a, I'm tired face rip off. Huh? You're seeing their fucking fangs? Huh? fangs. Oh, that shit's fucking crazy. It's insane how fucking... It's so fucking weird that, like, they don't even really eat meat like that.

Like, why they got fangs like that? They have fangs? Yeah. That and, like, baboons. Like, some, some, uh, some apes have fangs. And it's fucking terrifying. I think apes have fangs. Monkeys don't have fangs.

Yeah, I think you're right. I think monkeys don't have, but... And it's great, dude, how many the, they teach apes sign language. and it's fucking freaky because they 100% understand and if they do something like say there was this one gorilla

that like fucked up did something wrong and then they were like did you do this and then the motherfucker was blaming it on somebody else like signed like no it was him or something

and I was like what the fuck like that's dude fucking chimps are like this is just embarrassing I'm looking at pictures of like chimps fangs and like there's no excuse for their teeth to be this yellow

Oh my god. The yellow teeth? There's no real, they're not drinking coffee. You know, like there's no good reason. You're mad they don't have fucking toothpaste. Yellow teeth because of the calcium buildups on your teeth. I think their teeth are harder. That's why their teeth are yellowish.

This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain. Wrought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs to be exact. My favorites. The only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why.

These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They live in their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from.

Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at VitalFarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're comming. committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts.

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently. It said 20 billion one.

20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.

Why don't they just clean their teeth on the faces that they keep stealing? Ah. You know what, Chris, you have all the answers. You can have a TED Talk. Yeah. Yo, I agree. Hey, did you guys see the Flash Kids video of Joe Rogan in an interview. a chimp on the podcast? Yeah, yeah. That's my favorite fucking video.

That's the best video ever. So good. Would you have a baby chimp in your house? Absolutely not. No. A baby? Really like a baby one? Like you just for like a second?

Do you mean oh like say just to have it around and then and then it goes and then it leaves after? Nah, it's yours. It's like your kid. Yeah, no way because I sure there is, it's just like say if you domesticate something, you raise something. when it's young, that there is a very, very low probability that it would ever attack you

because it sees you as the parent and they don't typically attack their parents. But at the same time, I just still don't want to take that risk. I just, I don't think it's a good idea. There's a video circulating around of this fucking Russian just having a pet cougar.

And he's just like, yeah, what up? You know, and it seems all lovely and adorable, but it's giant and it can maul him in any second he wants. Cougars are different. Felines don't really have empathy. But yes, they do. Not really.

It's not the same. Not like a dog does. Not on the same level as a dog, but they definitely, I mean, you can watch compilations of stupid cats cuddling humans to death because they definitely have empathy and they want to be loved and they can get angry, sad. They're cuddling a person because their person's benefits. feeding them. They're not... That's what a dog does too. That's literally what a dog does. A dog does it because it's like, oh, this person's sad.

I'm on a console it because it helps me eat. That's what a cat does too, man. That's the same thing, idiot. It's like, I need you here because I'm cold. Don't fucking move. You stay where you are. You just, I can't believe you just described the same exact thought of us. It's more insidious, man.

It's significantly more insidious. You're just a fucking cat hater, man. I don't hate cats. I just don't trust them entirely. Okay, so you're racist against cats. There you go. I'm not a race. They're not a race, Derek.

They're not a race, Derek. You're fucking cat is, bitch, all right? I'm not racing against cats. Cats aren't a fucking race, all right? And I actually like some cats. All right? You fucking. You're talking to the mic, you dumb ass.

You're feline bigot. I like most cats. Wow. Now we're getting, now we're getting to race. Now you're really showing your fucking Uncle Tom colors, man. It's not fucking about the cats don't have race. Black cats just scare me. I can't see.

You sound like fucking Karen right now. Jesus Christ, fucking I had to imagine Paul Joseph Watson was our guest today. You see a fucking cat, you see a cat jogging on the side of the road and then you think it's fucking suspicious and you want to fucking go confronted,

asshole. I'm just going to call the cops because I feel like this cat shouldn't be out this late. Like, what could it be up to? Black cats bring bad look. Imagine my shock. Joy, noisness, you fucking degenerates. It's so fucking, dude, I think actually,

because of black cats always having like the fucking hazel yellow eyes, they always look so fucking cool, man. Yeah, I had a black cat for like, I think 14 years. Until I killed it. Yeah, it's put in my blender. Oh, my God.

Oh, man, I'm getting tired of you, Blender. That's your first thought. Oh, my God. I don't want to feed you. anymore throw it in a blender. This cat is a very beautiful, a beautiful species.

But will it blend? Oh my God. The first viral video on YouTube was fucking will it blend guy blending a fucking cat to pieces. Oh my Lord, with the bones in awe. You know how strong of a blender has to be? Jesus. Just get a ninja.

It's a strong thing, man. You used to have infomercials. It could blend your cat if you needed. If me be. It's like the sham fucking wow guy. But it's his British man talking about what is not and what is blendable. Yeah. You've ever wanted to blend anything. Have you ever wanted to blend your car?

Well, with the blendertron 3,000, your car is as good as paste. I'd rather have fucking Billy Mays. Tired or not being able to kill your cat? Not anymore. Introducing the Catslayer 3,000. Buy it now and fucking I'll give you some of my Coke. I don't know. Introduce.

cat be gone. It's just a fucking handgun. It's a fucking, it's a fucking cult handgun. It's just there to fuck. Aim at your cat. Pull the trigger and it'll be gone. It's that easy.

Dude man, Billy Mace is amazing because he could just sell fucking. What's amazing about him is that he somehow he yelled softly. I don't know how a human being does that. But he would always yell, but I never felt like he was screaming. You're totally right about that.

You're totally right about that. He would yell toward you, but not at you. He would, he would just project his voice. But it would never feel like he was like shouting. He would just like, introducing oxyclean. And it would be like, I hear you. All right. I certainly hear you.

Snart tank. I want to see a video of Billy Mays beating the fuck out of Alex Jones. That would make me so fucking happy. That would be the greatest video. whoever because it's just a hero versus a wait what are you saying Derek okay let me I gotta go back to that point because that's just too insane to ignore

but uh I was just saying to the snark tank listeners uh you have homework you need to go look up Billy May's suicide ladder it's a brilliant YouTube poop and um it's it's it's one of the first ones I saw like I think the beating the beast

some ones and then that Billy Mays has the best YouTube poops but uh let's go back to because I want to know where your thought process came from to why you need Billy Mays to fight Alex Jones. Because they're both loud creatures. But Billy Mays is a loud guy for

justice and hope. And hope. You know, I saw him a couple days before he died. Really? Yeah, I went to see Conan when he was on TBS and then Billy Mays was one of the guests. And I was fucking chanting. I was being obnoxious and I was chanting OxyClean, you know, trying to get everybody else

to chant. Nobody was doing it. Nobody felt it. People were like, shut the fuck. Like one of the producers was looking at me all pissed. He's like, shut the fuck up. But yeah, he died a few days after that. And I was like, what the fuck, man? He died immediately after that, after I followed him to his car and hit out in his trunk.

After I, you know, I cut his body up. He died. Weird. After I killed him with my cat be gone. After I threw a volatile amount of cocaine in his wallet for the next time he reached for a dollar bill. Volatile. You know, I have to say something real quick. I hope, I hope that Billy Mesa's son doesn't listen to this.

And there's a possibility that he does because he follows me. And we've talked a little bit. Oh, really? Yes. And he's a musician. He's a musician. He's pretty good. And I'm just thinking right now, I hope he doesn't listen to this.

It's nothing but respect. We love Billy Mises. Oh, we love him. We love him. He's great, dude. I just thought about that right now. It's just weird that you know Billy Maze's fucking kid, dude. Bro, it's okay.

So Billy Maze's son. I've chatted with him and I've also chatted with fucking John Lennon's son And he's like yeah man I've been watching you for years And I was like what? I was like what

What are you talking about? John Lennon? John Lennon's son What? What do you mean? The dead beetle? Yes His son that he had with Yoko Ono

Oh my god He's he I'm sure he's aware of you If he's been watching me for years That's fucking horrifying It's fucking genuinely off-putting It's so weird Complete, man. I was like these people have no business watching our bullshit.

It's fucking, it's crazy. Damn. All right. Hugger Derek wrote in. Hey, hugger Derek. He says, what's popping Gerald from Hey Arnold, black Donnie Darko and L. T. Grey. Okay. I mean, I'm Donnie Dark.

No, no, you're Donnie Darko because you're a fucking emo bitch. I'm not fucking emo. What do you mean? You mean? You're always talking about wanting to destroy the world. world. You're definitely black,

dark and no one understands you. I'm definitely a little more edgy. A little edgy around the don't a sides, but,

no one understands you. You always say that the world's gonna get what's coming to him, what's coming to it and fucking, I've seen you at fucking a,

a, what's the, my chemical romance? I've seen you at a show, dude, like don't fuck around. You would never see me there. That's something

that's a bit of a stretch. Dude, they pulled you onto the stage and you were fucking singing the black parade. Don't fuck with me. Stop. They pulled you on to the stage

And then you were grasping your, you were grasping the head of your penis and you were like slowly pulsating with it. Like I and my penis were pulsating. Yeah, it was like it was more like an undulation. Like someone was about the transforming fucking dragon ball z. You were undulating. You were like, you were like, watch this,

my chemical romance. I can make the tip of my penis real hard, but the rest of it will stay flaccid. Look at this. And then you did it. What is your fucking, what is the fucking major malfunction with you guys? It looks like a literal fucking much room.

I'm a little more uncut than most people, but I'm not edgy, okay? Anyway, Hugger Derek wrote in, he says, so, we're going way already. So of all of my favorite food, wait, wait, okay, so what is it? All of my favorite food items from fast food restaurants seem to be limited time only slash discontinued, like nacho fries from Taco Bell, the pretzel pizza from Little Caesars, et cetera. Are there any fast food items or even grocery store snack items that you loved but were sadly

discontinued. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I listen to you guys while I drive all the time. Well, thank you, Hugger, Derek. Thank you, Edgar, Derek. Hugger, it's my nigga, man. I like that guy.

I, dude, I, I, I, I, I fuck with them. I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't fuck with that, that pretzel pizza thing. That's, like, little Seasons is just, it's, come on. Like, come on, man. You got, you got to step your game. Yeah, I, at least do Domino's, man. At least do Domino's, like, come on.

But, uh, I, I'm a pizza snob, but, like, Domino's in Pizza Hut, I could at least justify for just like what what they did. Like Pizza Hut's got the weird crusts and like the weird experimental pizzas. It's like I get it. And then Domino's is just relatively like,

it's like a step above the pretty decent pizzas that you could make in like the microwave or like the toast oven yourself. It's totally worth the price, totally worth the price, man. Yeah, exactly. But like Little Caesar is like fucking heinous. Like I don't understand it.

It's just bread with cheese on top of it and sometimes fucking meat. Dude, the fucking. crust is so, I mean the dough, the dough, it just tastes terrible. It doesn't, it tastes like there's, you ever have, it tastes frostbitten. It always tastes frostbitten. Oh my God. Like it's been in the fucking freezer for years and then he finally put in the oven.

I totally agree. It's awful. But, uh, okay, so I agree with hunger, Derek, though. There's a lot of promotional stuff that disappears and I fucking love it. One thing that I'll never forgive Jack in the Box for is they used to have these things called spicy chicken bites where they were like chicken nuggets. like or I guess like boneless wings even though they're not wings I know let's not get started but they just had this like little bit of this jalapenial flavor to them they were so fucking

good they were amazing and they introduced them in like 07 06 or 07 or something and then they're like ah let's just fucking get rid of them they taste too good we don't want to have something really good on the fucking menu like fuck you and uh I'm still mad about that shit still still still mad and and then I had one other one taco bell they used to have the chili cheese burrito when I was a kid and it was my favorite thing and then out of nowhere they took it off the menu and they was gone for fucking forever and then one year 2016 no no not 2016 2014 they brought it back for like a month and I was so excited that I literally I tweeted it out no no I I I I posted it on Instagram.

I was so excited that I tagged Taco Bell and then the main account even liked my post. And I was like, holy shit, this is real. It's happening. Then they took it away. And now I'm just, I'm fucking depressed, dude. I'm depressed. I'm so sorry. They're fucking with my shit, man.

Like, it's just stop being stupid. And I'll be stupid. I keep saying, just like he said, the nach fries from Taco Bell, I always said, I'm like, dude. All the Mexican food joints, all the best one always have fries. What's up? And then Taco Bell tries it. And then they keep fucking, they just fucking with people, man.

I'm getting close to, I don't want to say it. Never mind. I don't want to, I don't want to threat another fucking entity. That's not, um. Yeah, last time you fucking talked about Papa and look what happened to the fucking planet. So chill the fuck out there, all right? Fucking, dude. Yeah, it's a little bit frustrating.

I have a very similar kind of thing where it's like there is, there are definitely some like, I remember I used to love, like when I was a kid, I used to love these like ego waffle sticks that they would make. Because they came, because they came with like a little tub of syrup that you would like dip him dip them. It was like, there's something like really like, oh man, I loved them. Like, there's actually a picture of me as a stupid snotnosed child in a suit eating them. Ew.

Like one of the few pictures that I have from like that time. But like, uh... This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain. brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture-raised eggs, to be exact. My favorites, the only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke.

And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know.

You could trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at vitalfarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.

Say hi, hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome.

I think I saw Billboard of years recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open, our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan.

From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Yeah, they just didn't make them anymore after a... Like for some reason, just out of nowhere. They stopped. And also, chicken fries, which they brought back since.

But, like, for a while, that was, like, a new thing that was amazing. And then they were just unavailable. This is like Burger King. Yeah. And they were amazing. And then they just stopped making them. And I was like, well, I have no reason to go to this place now. Like, what the fuck?

I'm going to go to Burger King for a burger. Ew. Or what? Or what? Fries? Gross. Dude. The thing?

Maybe. Maybe I'll get a shake. Dude, but like... Yeah, yeah, for sure. I don't know. What you're saying? Um, I... Fuck. It got thrown off a little bit. Uh, oh no, I was just gonna say the, the chicken fries, the seasoning.

I wish they would just use the seasoning and then just make it like a regular chicken sandwich. It's always there because it was the best fucking seasoning I've ever had in, like, any fast food restaurant. Bar none. It's really good seasoning. Especially when they made the, they made like, the offshoe where they made them like spicy, the spicy chicken fries. Oh, yeah. Those were delicious too. what the fuck these are so good why would you ever stop selling these and they like finally like

after after like six years they finally like i actually think now i think about it one of my first real videos when i started taking the channel like a little bit seriously was just kind of it was like a subscriber special but it was like a jokey one where i just sort of like drove around my town and i stopped at burger king to get a ridiculous amount of chicken fries i fucking loved those things i still do actually yeah they're pretty great getting a little hungry. For me, I like the Lego waffles, man. The waffles.

Oh, the waffles? Those two were so fucking cool. They had, like, fucking jelly in it. I don't think I ever had. I don't think I had those either. I had them, like, twice in my life. And then I went back and they were gone. I was like, what the fuck is wrong?

What is wrong with this planet? Ego waffles. I'm looking at a commercial right now. Oh, yeah. These are thick as fuck. I've never seen these. I love the waffles, man. They were so fucking good.

this looks kind of brilliant I kind of want waffles now man it's like a pop-tart waffle yeah it is it's fucking delicious and they fucking stole it from me there's like a pastry struddle it's pretty much like a total stoodle but a waffle outside

yeah I would fuck with that that sounds good that sounds good I'd fuck with that that sounds genuinely awesome I went there then I went there then a week later I went back on my grandmother and I was like I'm coming get him when she was like oh finally all right

I'll get him from him to shut the fuck up and I went to get him were gone and I mopingly walk back home without her. One thing, one thing I will say that I think everybody could technically guess at this point.

I love lemon snapple specifically in glass bottles. I don't know what it is about it. It's probably just like a comfort thing from like when I used to have it all the time in Manhattan because it's like the most aside from like just

straight up water and like Coca-Cola, it's probably like the third most common drink in Manhattan specifically. It's just so, it's every fucking wear. Like every little street vendor has it. They got the little hot dogs soaking in the filthy water where the guy's bathing in it also. And he also has like, some Gatorades. It tastes amazing. I love that.

I would love it. They used to call them like what, dirty water dogs. Yeah, dirty water dogs. Yeah, they're so good. But like they would always have like a snap. So you were always like within arm's reach of a snap on any given moment, basically. So I just drank him a lot And in the last like

I would say probably like seven years They've just been phasing out The glass bottles in favor of this fucking garbage plastic shit And I didn't think it would make that much of a difference But it just you can taste the fucking plastic Yes It's so much worse bro It's like a completely different beverage

It's a completely different drink I didn't believe it was I didn't believe him I thought he was fucking lying about I was over-exaggerating about it. Like, oh, it's fine, it's fine. Stop bitching. And then I tried a Kiwi strawberry fucking snapple in a fucking plastic bottle, and it tastes

fucking horrendous. Yeah. It's a completely different, it's not even like, it just ceases to be refreshing, too, because, like, glass just gets colder than plastic. It gets colder, and it doesn't, like I said, the plastic gives off chemicals. For sure. Yeah. I mean, dude, just go get a Mexican Coke and then go get one in the plastic bottles.

have been selling them for fucking years over here. It's night and day. It's night and day. People don't get it. And it's, I don't understand why Snapple did that. I mean, it's probably to save fucking money, I guess. But, yeah, no, it's definitely to save money

because I think glass is heavier, so it costs more to ship. True. And they're also... It's easier to make plastic of the life. Yeah, they're also, just more fragile because they're glass. True. But I don't know.

I think it's, I don't know if anybody from Snapple is listening, but it's a fucking, that's a drastic fucking mistake. I agree. I haven't had a straight up. Go ahead. No,

go ahead. I was just going to say, I haven't had, it's the only time, like, say, get them at a specific store that still carries them.

I used to get Snaples all the time at the fucking liquor stores. All the time. Yeah. I'd love smacking the bottom of the glass and hear that little popping noise before you open it. It's such a satisfying drinking experience.

Fuck, yeah. And then none of that. there with the plastic. Yeah, they fucked up big time. I hate that shit. Yeah. Really terrible. This question is funny too because...

Sorry, God. What? No, go ahead. No, it's just funny because like every single time... I'll go to Snapple's Twitter sometimes. Just out of curiosity to see what they're doing. And every response, like nearly like every... I think 50% of the responses are just them responding to people begging for the glass

back. And they're just like, we still sell them in like six packs and 12 packs. And, and they're just like, we still sell them in like, uh, six packs and 12 packs. And it's like, it's just, dude, if there's many people, if half of your Twitter activity is dedicated to responding to these people, maybe you should like, I don't know, listen. Yeah, that'd be a good fucking idea, wouldn't it? That'd be a really good idea. I don't know.

I'm really, like, autistic about this specific thing. I feel you. This is one thing that I 100% agree with you on, like, say, being passionate, like, irrationally passionate about this. I'm like, yeah, I'm on board. What's up? Like, I don't like agree with you. In fact, let's go fucking rush them.

Makes me sick talking. you sometimes but you're right about i was actually i was actually going to make a video about it i was going to i was going to have like a whole taste test i got like hundreds of plastic bottles and i was working on tracking down some glass where i can find it i think they still sell them it they still sell them at vans which is like a pain in the ass to get to but i still make the trek um and i was going to go into the like one of the town centers kind of nearby and just sort of do taste test and see like if people could actually taste the difference but then the universe stopped

yeah everything broke being safe yeah it's like there's no way people are gonna be sipping sipping random strangers drinks in the middle of a pandemic so it's like ah fuck yeah that's probably not the optimal move right now yeah definitely definitely not Travis Powell wrote in he says ahoi goo crew I don't like that okay I don't know what that means

I've got a nice light heart hypothetical for you. Okay, let's hear it. Imagine this. You're approached by a man and he offers you $5 million. But in exchange, you have to do crack cocaine for an entire week. And at the end of it, you'll get the money. The twist is you must now abstain from doing any more crack cocaine. Do any of you think you'd have the fortitude to abstain now that you're firmly addicted? I think I would be fine if I didn't have a bad heart valve. I think that's my only deterrent.

Otherwise, I would try it. I would try it. I just don't like drugs. I don't like drugs. I mean, I don't either, but I want that money. And I don't want to have to deal with that. I would do it because like, fuck it. $5 million is a lot of money.

But like the cold turkey is going to be a trip. So. I think I would do it. I think I could do it. I have a like a very loosely addictive personality, but it's nothing has filled the void that glass bottle tea. Well, you haven't done crack cocaine yet either, Chris. That might be it.

No, but I've, I mean, I don't know, I've had addictive substances before. Like, people are, people get addicted to alcohol. I don't even understand how that's possible. Yeah, it's insane to me. Yeah. Because it tastes so bad. Like, I like going out to drink and I like drinking with people and like, and socially drinking and like hanging out at bars.

I like bar atmospheres in general and hanging out. But I don't know. Like, I always drink because it just makes sense. And also just like the outcome is like not so bad. It's like, all right, well, I'll stomach through this kind of poorly tasting. There's like plenty of delicious drinks. I don't understand that. I mean, there are drinks that I like.

I like a Moscow mule. I like, you know, Long Islands and stuff like that. I like Guinness with the foam on top. I'm off this train. Guinness tastes fucking horrible. You're fucking insane. What, do you drink the piss corona? You drink the fucking urine?

I don't drink fucking people's diarrhea, though. I don't want to drink people's fucking diarrhea. If I'm drinking, I'm going to drink my vodka or like I'm going to get something fucking hardcore. I'm not going to drink beer. You don't do that when you're just hanging out at a bar. You don't just fucking be the one drunk asshole. I sip some vodka with some ice in it, bro. I don't fucking.

I don't like beer, first of all. I think beer tastes disgusting. But if I'm gonna, if I'm gonna drink, I'm gonna get like, I'm gonna get something pretty hard and I'm gonna sip it throughout the rest of the night. That's it. I don't know. Yeah, there's some,

there's like a handful of drinks that I like, but like, for the most part, I'm just powering through it just to get to the drunk feeling. I'm definitely because it's social. I'm not doing it because I really want to. I don't know. I think everybody,

there is a drink for everybody to where you can just, enjoy and you're not just like oh this is gross I can't wait to hit that point where I'm feeling good I think there's something for everybody you know like I I hate the people that that are weirded out there like oh you don't like IPAs

like IPAs tastes like fucking pine cones of course I don't like IPAs that's stupid that's fucking stupid but like I'll drink it I guess I'll drink it if it's the only thing available like there's beer yeah yeah but I'm never gonna go to like I I feel like I like drinking

more than I like the drink Thanks. most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at VitalFarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts.

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an

accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. I like, it's kind of like, smoking where it's like, I like cigars a lot. Yeah. Because they just, it just, there's something that, something about the actions that you have to,

something about the physicality that you are forced to embody when you're smoking a cigar is like very satisfying. Just like the, the flicking of the cigar and like just how, just how like overtly mobster it looks and feels to just smoke one. Yes. I feel like I like that sensation and that feeling more than I like actually smoking the cigar. And it's a similar thing with, like, weed sometimes, or it's like, you know, I don't really like smoking weed, but I like the, I don't know, the kind of etiquette almost that's employed when you're smoking weed.

Mm-hmm. I feel you. I totally, actually, I totally hear what you're saying, the atmosphere, the, and then it's kind of like, say, I feel like Michael Jordan was like that, for example. He smokes cigars, like an athlete at the highest caliber, and then you'd think somebody like that would stay away from, fucking smoking cigars like that because it's just like really heavy on your lungs but i think it just made him look very fancy and he liked how it made him feel not like say the tobacco because he can get access to anything you want so i think there's definitely something to that and um and i totally get it i get that too and there's people that don't really like to drink that much but we're all in the

same setting we're all at a bar we're all hanging out of the house so like i might have a drink or two Ooh, so I get that. Yeah. It feels good to hold, it feels good to just sort of hold a beer. There's something about it that's like, oh, I'm like, I'm a functioning adult. You know? Yeah. I'm in a first world country.

Things are pretty good. It's not so bad. I mean, I guess. I just, I hate beer. I hate it. I'm never going to like it. That's fair. I mean, I hated a beer for a long time.

I could find a beer that you would love. That's, that's my whole thing is like, there is a, there's a drink for everybody. I wouldn't like. I wouldn't, I wouldn't hate as much. but like, I don't know, man. Like, I was a kid that would fucking scarf down four locoes, even though I know I hated the taste, just to get fucking wild.

That's, to me, that's like pre-alcoholism, you know, even though you didn't become alcoholic, but just the people that drink to purely get drunk, I'm like, fuck that shit. I always am like, I'm going to find a drink that I enjoy, and then it's like I don't feel any type of pressure. I'm literally feeling good and enjoying something tasty at the same time. Best of both world.

Yeah I understand that You fucking weird ass niggas man What the hell I mean What I'm just say okay You know what I'm gonna give you And this is cheating

This is cheating This is what we would do for the women Like if you wanted to drink a beer We would get this beer called frambois It's Belgian And it just tastes like beauty It doesn't taste like hops It's totally different

It's almost It's more on the side of like You would think of a carbonated wine But it's beer called Frambois. It's fucking delicious. And so you can tell it, motherfucker, I'm pounding some beer right now,

but you feel like you're in heaven getting your dick sucked. That's what it feels like in your mouth. That's really good. Nice. Sounds like my kind of place. Yeah. I hope heaven's just literally

getting your dick suck for eternity. I hope so. And if I hope I'd go there because like shit, man. And then hell is you getting butt-fucked for eternity? Or what? Damn, bro. Can you imagine?

If you're there for eternity, you might as well just at that point learn to like it. You're not getting away from this. Yeah, but just start pulling on yourself a little bit. Like, you know what? I'm starting to enjoy this. I don't know. I don't know what to say, guys. This is kind of weird.

Just getting kind of weird, guys. Maybe after the first few hundred years. Maybe after the first few hundred years you might be like, you know, starting to develop a taste for this, you know? To get in fucking plowed by a fucking horned imp? It would be like a day, dude. Like 24 hours of just not sleeping. He would just be delirious.

James Passmore wrote in. He says, this is a bit of a closer. Because it's fairly simple. What character do you want for Smash Brothers? It doesn't even have to be plausible. I just want to know what character you want. What would make sense? Or what you think would be a...

music. Uncle Rico. From Napoleon Dynamite in Smash Brothers? He would just one hit every fucking body. What is this? He'd pick people up and throw him over the mountains. Holy shit, I haven't thought about Napoleon Dynamite in so long. Neither by. Not, but for me, for real Arbiter. I would love Arbiter in a game, but I'm very biased. Dude, Arbiter is in fucking killer instinct.

But he's not in Smash. I don't care if he's a killer instinct. Well, fuck you, I do care. I don't give a shit. Yeah, but bitch, you said, you said, and I quote, Oh, I would love Arbiter in a fighting game or some shit. I'm sorry that I said quote because I forgot what the fuck you said, but you said something like that. Yeah, you definitely didn't say Smash.

You said I would love it if Arbiter was in a fighting game. I would love Arbiter and Smash. All right, yeah. The thing that sucks, too, the thing that sucks about him in Killer Instinct is that it's not Keith David doing the voice. Oh, what the fuck? That's not even Arbiter. That's just some other fucking elite nigger.

That's some fucking other fucking four-jawed nigger. Fuck that. I agree because Keith David is so godlike I get that I get that that that would piss me off But hey Keith David is Spawn So he's still working Yeah still working Are they bringing Spawn back again?

Yeah spawns in a MK 11 And Keith David's voice in him not I fucking like creamed my pants so good Praise the sun man Really did you see fucking Robocop In Mortal Kombat Yeah that's happening that's hilarious Yeah and they um they

They fucking got a What? Peter Seller? Why do I always want to say Peter? I always fuck his name up. Is it not Peter Sellers? No, I think you're right. I think you're right.

I was just going to say Peter Frampton or something. I keep doing that. Flampton. I keep doing it. Anyway, but yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's cool that they're like reprised in a role. That's pretty cool, I guess. I guess it doesn't really matter though for Robocop.

Like any voice actor can do fucking Robocop, right? Oh, yeah. Stop, faggot. I am the law. Halt nigger, I am the law Oh my god Robo cop is the person that beat fucking What you call it that guy?

He was the name of the black man I got attacked savagely in the fucking 90s Oh, Rodney King? What? Rodney King Robocom's one that fucking savagely beat Rodney King Yo Somebody is gonna put that footage in there, bro

Yo, savagely, bro. Oh my God This fucking joint body, fucking... Dude. Black man, you are resisting. Dude, I need to see that. Why don't we all just be friends? Can we all just get along, nigga?

No way. Coon. That's so fucked. I love it. And then just getting thrashed to fucking the theme of Robocop, which is a great theme, by the way. Jesus Christ. You're getting Rampa-stomped. Bro.

Fucking Rodney fucking Robocop burst onto the scene after Matthew Broder kills that family in his car. Oh my God. In the fucking 90s.

What else happened? What were some big fucking moments? Yo, Robocop versus Inspector Gadget would be amazing. No, Robocop's too vile. That sounds like that's what I mean.

I'm not saying it would be an even I never said it was an even fight. I said it would be amazing. because you'd see Robocop pummeling this fucking Fisher Price toy of a person fucking Go Go GoGadget 9-1-1

Dude I bet it's a fucking death battle I bet it's a death battle Fucking Robocop against Jacks for Mortal Kombat Which is probably going to happen now Oh yeah Yeah Imagine the first thing he says to he gets out

I thought he had a gun I feared for my life I feared for my life Go Go Gadgett's shallow grave As soon as Rovo Gadgett comes out Watch out Trayvon Immediately Oh my god

All right we're reaching the end We're reaching the end here Which means Which means the names Are coming up Oh my God Let's see What did I even...

How do I even do this? That'll be the end of our... I don't even know what the fuck. I don't know what's happening anymore, really, but if you like what you heard today, please consider supporting us over at patreon.com slash the snark tank. $1 a month gets you early access.

$5 a month gets you a question read here on this show and $10 a month gets you access to our Discord, which is live. Also, letting you guys know that. Yeah. And $15 gets you a producer credit and your name dyslexically red. At the end of the show, every single God fucking damn episode.

And here we go. We're about to do it in three, two, one. Hold on a second. Hold on. There we go. Hold on. I have to get this ready. All right, we're good. And now. A level one cleric, a level 20 paladin, Dern disapproval. Aaron, I-noscoped, JFK Kalupa, Aaron Alvarez, Etherian, Alex Morrison,

all hands-on dick. It's too long. I'm not going to read the rest of this. The Otts King, Bealsabubb the Gimp, Ben Douglas, Big Dude 0444, Black Nipple Gang, Cataclysmic Cunt. Chris, please eat, we're all worried. Cold burb, come fart from my dad.

Oh, my God. No. Christ almighty. Jeepers. Creepers. Curtis Smith Dankhouse David Connelly David Delaney

Decado Derpfest Doda da da da da da da da da da da da da da daova cunt Dunderhead Such a fucking Dunderhead That's such a TVY7 insult

Um Emperor Palpatine Patreon stop changing my name Fat Houdini Female Sonic Admira Been there since the beginning I feel like What is fetus

Fluid Filatio I'm not about that life Yeah, me neither. Fialar Tandri Gutormson, Fouhei, friendly local psychopath, a girthworm gym. Oh my God.

That's a good one. I like that one. That's pretty good. Gucci gang, my goches gang green. Haiko, Heartless Wretch, hugger Derek.

I have brain damage with an exclamation. Oh, wait a minute. So I read this wrong last time, but I'm dyslexic, so I actually self-corrected it. It's, I have Dane Bramage.

Oh my God. Hey. That's so strange. My brain corrected it. Dane Dramish. It's usually the opposite of what... It's usually with the opposite of dyslexia does. If Smog was black, he'd be Tom Sweeney.

Jabobo. Jason Tenticles. Jeremiah D. McRoberts. Julius Caesar has jungle fever. Oh, my God. Catovox. Limp Bizkit thinks they're black, but they're just gay. Melfis won Ph.D.

Shiblobony and non-concessual de-assing. I don't even know. You guys got to fucking tighten them up. You got to tighten them up. Tighten him up. Brevity is the soul of wit. As a philosopher once said, probably, maybe, at one point. Mitchell Blackwood, Moto Zealot,

Mr. Ninja Fox 117, murder ascended. Jesus. My ex is a cheating cunt, and I hope she burns in hell. Oh, shit. Damn. Thanks for the $15, dude. Yeah. Fuck that bitch.

Hopefully it's like your ex is $15. Yeah. You know that dude's going to clip that shit in Senator? Oh yeah, probably. Yeah, fuck you, bitch. Yeah, what a, you slutty whore. Go fucking start only fans, bitch. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, stupid.

Women are property. Next. All right, all right. My black ass, nerd master, Paul the Negro hunting llama prince. Nice. Randy Weaver's wife. Oh. Don't know who Randy Weaver is, so the reference is lost on me.

Yeah. Sorry about that. Richter 86. Rumpel Forskin. Sergeant Sweaty Sack. Slav Squatter, the Globetrotter, who dicted your mother's daughter. Sunny Chance, Super Sonic, Super Sayan. Oh.

Sweeney, the Kauaiwifu. Stitz, Ridge, Kema. I still can't for the life of me to pronounce this name. That Nick Water, the Pragerian Hunter, the Spector Angel, tickle my ass hairs. Oh. Hmm. Toby Schupeman. Tom.

Tom. Sweney's Waccondon sex slave Thadamus Prime. Tom Sweeney, the cum-guzzling champion of New York. Look at you, huh? You feel good. You could continue. Congrats, man. Go on. Tootsie.

Winthropy, the man who can't undress himself without watching a YouTube tutorial. Oh my God. And as always, as always, closing out our list, Say it with me now Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, Come inside my tummy.

The classic. How good. You're the gold, dude. Yeah, you're really consistent here. Yummy, yummy. Comey in my tummy. Special shout out, though, to, let me read this name again.

The Progerian Hunter, who's 50 bucks a month, which is wild. That's insane. Thank you so much, dude. Crazy appreciated. Again, Uh, if you liked what you heard today, consider going to the Patreon, Patreon. Patreon.com slash a snark tank.

Uh, there's a bunch of shit there. So, uh, yeah, we'll, uh, we'll see you soon, I guess. Yeah. If we survive. We'll be back next week on, on Sunday again. Sorry about, you know, on Monday, actually. Sorry about, you know, fucking up. Yeah, well, if, if you're listening to this on free feeds, you're not going to notice a difference.

But, uh, the patrons got a day late because my head exploded on the day that we were supposed to record. Yeah, so sorry about that. We'll be fine. They'll get over it. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Stay safe.

Niggas. Niggers. All right. That's fine. Stop recording. Click and collect. Order confirmed. Dad, tomorrow can we start a band?

Can we become robots? Affirmative. Can we go crab battling? That isn't a thing. How about swimming? Dad. Can we take a nap? You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal.

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