The Snark Tank - #210: Nakey Tekken

Episode Date: February 26, 2024

chris put some mods on Tekken 8https://www.patreon.com/TheSnarkTank

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Hey, look. Bro, I forgot that I, I don't remember which episode it was, but I started it off with the big show intro. Kingston just said, well, it's the big show and I completely forgot that I did that. I don't know if I forgot. I forgot that as well. Yeah, whatever episode was, a couple episodes ago. Because at the very end of the episode, there was a reference to it. And I was like, you know what?

You've got to switch up the intro, man. I'm going to start. I'm going to start. I'm not going to say I forgot things anymore. Because it's more usual that I forget things than I remember them. That's a point. I'm going to call out when I remember something. Because it happens so infrequently.

I think that's, yeah, that's proper. I think that is proper. Yeah. Oh, I just remembered that I did this. Exactly. It's just like, oh, I forgot. Of course I forgot. Of course.

If you told me something, I forgot it. Absolutely. If I've ever run into you and you met, this goes especially for viewers and listeners. If I've met you, if I've, you know, run into you in person and we had like a nice conversation, I'm sure it was nice. I could not tell you a frame of that conversation. No way. No chance in hell. Is that because I don't care?

It's because I just cannot, I cannot retain it. It's all gone. Speaking of... It happens. Speaking of remembering and forgetting, I remembered to install every nude mod possible in my Tekken 8 game. And so now that is a really pleasant game to watch. I'm getting really good at it.

I'm getting really good at it. Honestly, I was kind of fumbling with it before. Like, I was just like, I was kind of okay at it. I was like, okay, I can do combos and like, I'm all right, but I lose kind of relatively often on hard. Now that everybody's naked, I'm trouncing. I'm trouncing. That's crazy.

That's solid. I like that. It's like I can focus so clearly. It's wild. What's wrong? Kingston's nodding his head in a disapproving manner. Yeah, I don't know why he's. He's like the only one.

I can't. I can't play. I can't imagine playing tech in with everybody. fucking naked. It's amazing. I couldn't imagine it. I couldn't imagine it. I've been holding off.

Like, if I break can't rationalize that. Because I feel like I would just be laughing so hard, I wouldn't play the game. Look, it gets to a point where it just, the first time you do it, it's, it is a major distraction. But then you kind of just lock in, man. And there's something, there's something so satisfying about doing it. And I was just thinking about this last night, actually, because I was playing Shoot Fighter 6.

I'm still way behind because I'm doing the world tour thing and enjoy I'm actually enjoying the world tour thing I don't know I feel like is one of the more enjoyable it's like it's shitty but at the same time it's so charming and so I haven't like

I'm beating the fuck out of refrigerators like it's such a stupid mode but Tekken I'm so excited to play Tekken I'm just not I'm trying to hopefully by the time I'm ready it'll be a significant reduction in price. I found some good prices right now,

but I'm excited for what you did, Chris. I'm fucking, I can't wait to slap some nude mods on those bad ones. You know what I think it is, unironically? I was thinking about it's like, because I know this sounds like a bit, but I'm not joking. Like, I know that, like, I know I did install,

but like I know that like probably some people are thinking, oh, it's a bit that he's getting better. That's true. Like, my game has improved. like dramatically since I made everybody naked and I don't understand why and I was thinking about it I was ruminating on it and I was thinking like because the outfits are so intricate and so like animated and so like very designed that like I think in some ways they're distracting and I think there's like there's also some part of me that's like I think we as humans

understand how to read other fighting humans better when they're naked purely from an evolutionary standpoint. I think we easily read enemies attacking us if they're not covered in distractions. This is preposterous. I don't know what else it could just be because it could just also be because I'm playing the game more and getting better as I play.

That's literally all it is. I'm sure that's all it is. I'm not convinced. I'm not 100% convinced that that's the only reason. You don't think it makes sense. be a little bit to it. Well, in a real world scenario, it does make sense, actually. Because there are, like, say, for example, you see, like, there are some fighting get-ups,

especially in Japan and some in China, where they disguise their feet. Like, you can't see where they're got, what they're going to do. It's a, it's, I mean, it works in gaming, right? If you see your character is doing some type of frame movement where they're going to crouch or something is going downward, you know to crouch block. You immediately know, I got to do. So it kind of, with less restrictions, it is possible that it could be helping you. But I would say in your scenario, there is a perversion in you that is making you want to play more because there's good graphics and tits flopping around everywhere.

I don't. Honestly, I don't look at it. Well, outside of Nina. No one's even thick enough in the game for me to be really happy about them being naked, though. I'm caught up in the game. My attention is on every play and every whistle. But what I'm missing is a signal coming from my kidneys. That signal isn't like a refs whistle.

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Like no one's built like... That is true. There's not, there aren't crazy builds necessarily, but I've always, I, I, I always loved Nina. Like, Nina was my favorite. I love that. Even in that stupid, disgusting PS1, uh, cutscene in Tekon 2 where her hair looks like fucking spider's legs. I remember, that was like one of the first time, that was one of the first times that I saw

cutscene. I was like, because it was like, it had that, like, kind of like, that smooth music with like, I think she, like, it, she, like, she, like, it, she, like, crossed her legs or something. And I was just like, what's going on? What's going on here? So Nina's always just been a... I was happy to say...

I was looking at videos of Tekken 8, and I didn't see any videos about Nina, and I kind of thought she wasn't in the game. So... And I just bought it because I just wanted to get back into Tekken. And I was pleasantly surprised that she was still there. I was like, oh, thank God. That God, Nina is still there.

Nina's still there. King is still there. Jack is still there. Did you guys play Tekken 6? I did not play Tekken 6. I missed it. Yes. So I wasn't good at it

I haven't gone So here's the thing I might be misremembering But was Tekken 6 The only one that everybody Had super combos Like they had like a They had like a superart gauge essentially

Am I misremembering that No because seven only only fucking I thought only Akuma I thought only Akuma had one He was the only one that had one I think seven everybody had a super For my mistaken

Are you sure Am I fucking freaking out dude Am I like freaking out actually Because I can't I'm too lazy to install the games I could be thinking about what you could be thinking about I'm too lazy to install That's not Tekken but that's pretty much

Tekken so caliber Somebody somebody that's a bit Because I used to be a major Tekken fan And then I fell off at 5 because 5 was the last one on PS2 Before it upgraded to You know the 3 and 660 And so I fell off after that

And so 6 I played super late I barely played 7 eight's looking dope. I'm excited. But again, every time we probably filed up this podcast and talk about how

2020, was just too good and I feel like I'm fucked. You know, since it's, I don't have any obligation to play everything. I'm just,

you get overwhelmed and I'm like, fuck. I'm just going to play a little more street fighter in, I guess. This year's looking somewhat similar.

A bunch of stuff coming out of nowhere. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. apparently the Battlefront collection They're releasing the old

Battlefield Battlefield games On with that I know it's funny I just bought Battlefront 2 On uh because it was it was a dollar It was a buck something on CD keys And I was like oh cool battlefront two On Steam for like a buck something I just bought it

I literally just bought it two days ago And I'm like are you fucking serious You waited until the last possible minute Just by sheer coincidence That is so funny I'm so excited to play all fucking multiplayer with that shit again. That's what's cool. I was nasty at Battlefront 1. I was very good at that game because I would just throw my lightsaber with Vader and it would fuck people blow.

That was a sick fucking move, dude. See, I totally, I totally missed it because I never I never played the original battlefronts. I missed them entirely. Like those were, really? Yeah, I thought you were a PSP guy. That was like, well, I was, but. Retribution or whatever was on PSP. That's, you're thinking of resistance. Resistance, uh, resistance, restribution. Yeah. So, I mean, there was something, I don't know what it was necessarily, but I think because Battlefront was Star Wars and I just didn't care about Star Wars, I just didn't, I don't, like, there was really, it wasn't until I think the Force Unleashed on, like, PS3 and 360 that I decided to be like, oh, yeah, maybe I'll play a Star Wars game. You know what I mean? And everything before that didn't really matter to me. And also because, I mean, I had, I had Halo and I wasn't really in the market for like another sci-fi shooter in a series that I didn't care about. So I missed out on them. Okay. I'm actually, like, looking forward to, like, play them.

I feel like I'm in a weirdly unique position in that respect where, like, I feel like like I'm one of the rare people who just doesn't have nostalgia for this and can actually just play it as, like, a new game. That's actually kind of interesting to play it that way. Well, no, well, no, because I liked Knights of the Old Republic with no nostalgia attached at all. Oh, that's a good point, because I was about to say. So I'm curious.

That's a good point, because that's literally the roughest thing. I recently finished Colour Tour. Tour 2. Very recently I finished that game. That game's story's unbelievable. Like 1 or 2, like, yeah, one and two, both of those stories are too good to be attached

to a franchise that has gone through the ups and downs of Star Wars. Like, it's too good to be attached to that franchise. It's like, fuck, dude. They could have made the movies about Cotor and the movies would have been amazing. They would have been infinitely better. That's the problem.

That the old republic is so much better than any of the other shit, in my opinion. I think it's leaps and bounds better. I just, I just, I just, I just, that it's unexplored,

and that makes it cool, because we don't know what the fuck's going to happen. Like, now watching, like, even though I'm an Assocano fan, watching Assoca shit, I still know at the end of the day,

Kylo Ren's going to kill all the other people, and the Jedi order is going to fall again. I know that. And that just makes it, like, watching that stuff like, uh, I know what's going to happen at the end. This makes me really sad.

I, I just, I don't know. How did you guys feel? about because how did you guys feel about did you see the um rogue one for example would you guys see that one yeah that's not real one like there's something that you know it was going to happen but i found it really entertaining in the same way that uh you kind of knowing the lore of reach and then playing it like say knowing that what this is about and what's got essentially you know

everyone's gonna fucking die and he played it yeah yeah i just feel like if you execute something pretty well. I'm like it works and I feel like what annoys me about I don't know. I just what you know what I want. I just want like a complete I want to pretend like nothing the last three movies and everything that's surrounding it just didn't happen. Just do it again. Just do it again, but just do it fucking right. Like I feel like that's all you really need. You know what's crazy? I think people would be okay if they did it again. I think they would. A lot of people would be like, let's just do it again. just do it over and people would be like all right but they'd have to they'd have

I think so too yeah it's Disney right and Disney would have to like give it all that merch they have for it give it all that bullshit they have for the fucking third that three series and they're like we're not that's money we spent that we have to get back that's a good that's why they wouldn't do it

they'd have to change so many of the rides and shit like yeah the rides I was thinking about that yeah yeah yeah we're not doing this yeah yeah because they're making another movie with Ray. They're making a movie. I'm like a, what's it called? Like a time. What? What?

What are you just? Is this? Where she's rebuilt in a Jedi Order. And I'm like, I really wish that I didn't know that. I'm be honest. I wish I, oh, so this is a, this is a, this is a, they're continuing. There's a sequel. Yeah. I'm so, I couldn't, I can't, I can't, I can't properly express how uninterested I am in seeing that. I just, I just, I just, it's, bro.

You know, it's crazy? You know, it's crazy? I'm not going to see an opening weekend. I'm not. That's crazy. That's crazy. I'm not going to be in a weekend. I'm going to wait.

I'm going to wait until I get all the info I can. Then I'll be like, I guess I'll see it now. But Dave Faloni is headlighting it. And that's why I'm happy. Like, oh, Dave Falun, he made, he made freaking clone wars. That's like the most revered Star Wars stuff ever. I'm going to, that's cool. But also, this is, this is a shit show.

ultimately you can only work with what you got you know and uh masters can do really well but it's I don't know yeah it's Star Wars is just a very strange it's a strange series to me because I just don't really have a connection

to it but there are things about it that I like I liked Cotor I probably would have played more of it if it didn't break if the game itself didn't bug on me and I wasn't like locked into a into a problem uh what was the other one Oh my god, fucking, I just said it.

Force Unleashed, I liked a lot too as a game. So, like, I don't know, like, I like some of it. But it's funny that you bring up, that you brought up, what is it, Reach and Rogue One, because that was all I was thinking when I was watching Rogue One, I was like, this is a Reach. This feels Reach as fuck. It's pretty ridiculous. It's pretty ridiculous how Reach that movie is. But, yeah, I don't know.

We'll see. Apparently, they're doing the Fall of Reach in the Halo TV show right now, and it's, Oh no shit Yeah but it's Man And it's like I don't know It's so weird They're doing all this weird lip service

Where they're like They're saying places that were in the game It's like oh visigrad relay It's like oh I remember where the visigrad relay was That was when they first Yeah I get it And it's just all wrong And it's just

I'm really I'm really I'm really fucking curious to see like how How they're gonna say How they're going to fix this fucking show If they ever do I don't think I heard

But dude It's doing well apparently Like people If you talk to random people on the street Like people who aren't online They'll be like Hey you see You're watching Halo

It's pretty good And I'm like I realize that I realized that too right Like That's the problem I went to I went to

I went to I went to the Rose Bowl Or like the California ball Whatever it's called Right for Star Wars Night's the anniversary things Dude

The amount of people that were there Isn't It was an unbelievable Like the place was jam packed To watch episode 6 Like jam packed And I'm like dang If I was on internet

You'd assume that people really don't like Star Wars that much And now out here in the real world People love this shit It's even with MCU movies I mean they've taken a dip definitely. Sure. But you go outside and you like go to a screening.

Yeah. And it's path. You're like, well, the thing about that is like, there's no question that Star Wars and the MCU have gotten worse. But people still, people still like,

a lot of people still love it. Yeah. People are still going to love them. You know, I have my own feelings about the MCU. Like, I don't care about it really. I don't care about it really.

But like I, you know, I have a connection to those movies. I remember going to see them every year. Like, with a bunch of friends and like, Endgame was sick. It wasn't a great, it wasn't a great movie necessarily. But like, as like an event, that was pretty fucking sick.

That was cool. Like, I appreciated that. And so you're obviously going to have people like millions of people, but that blew my mind. Where I was like, because Jalen's dad was telling me about it. Or not Jalen's dad was telling me about his dad was reaching out to him. He was like, hey, they got HALO on TV now and it's really good. And he was like, what? That makes sense, though.

That makes sense, though. That was a show. Jalen is Jalen lives a very removed life from a lot of stuff and he's like then he comes to he's like yo do you see this thing called of a Apple watch and I'm like Jalen what are you talking about Jalen lives in like I would say on an adjacent plane where like it's very like every now and again will sync up with his understanding of the like like recently like he he texted me was like hey let's get on hell divers and I was like I'm astounded that you know what this is so quickly.

But yes, we'll go on, we'll get on Helldivers and then it'll be like, you know, you see they're making watches out of smartphones now? And I'm like, that's been, it's been about five years. Now, he's current, he's current in the strangest ways.

Yeah. How would he know what Hell Divers 2 is? And not have heard about the Halo show. That's pretty crazy. Right, exactly. Now he's like he's not like someone that like wants to be an ass like I only play things I really think are cool like he's not one of those. He's just like, oh, I heard about this. This seems cool.

I'm going to try it out. And that's it. Yeah. I mean, it must be nice. You'd be at peace probably better with things. Right. If you had that.

Right. Because I think before I became a content, a content person, I was at peace. I just liked what I liked and like people should end up like whatever. I like this though. Even though it's still kind of that now, but like I wouldn't have to see a tweet about all. I really like this thing. And then like, fucking 89 people come out to the world works

and just sit on what I like. And I'm like, all right, well, cool. Yeah. Thanks, I guess. It's pretty. Yeah. I appreciate you guys tearing down the things I love. Dude, ignorant.

I fuck. I wish I was ignorant about a lot of stuff, man. If you can think about there's a lot of media, if you could take back, if you could just have it zapped out of your brain and not know about it. And you just probably feel, because there's something about like,

even some of the, I imagine this is how most Star Wars fans are. Anytime you think about Star Wars, you kind of have this probably what if feeling or like what could have been like or this thing instead of just like satisfaction and imagine if you just never watch imagine if you were just you knew

you knew the latest trilogy was going to be asked you're like I'm just not going to watch it you probably feel a lot better he's like I'm not going to watch it the thing is that like I reached I reached that point I reached that point with with Halo in the last couple of years where I was like you know what there was a time where it was in the sun

and now it's not and I'm fine with that. In fact, I'm really glad about it because it means I get something that fucking stupid kids who don't deserve it don't get. That's kind of how I feel about it. It's just like anger. It's like, all right, I guess it's over.

We got it. It's the same thing we were talking about last time about like the X-Men cartoon and having like superheroes with thick asses. You know what I mean? And now that's gone. Yeah. It's just like, well, sucks for you.

Now, I add it. I'm sorry you get the fucking HAL-Assin' his kids. I'm sorry, you get the HAL TV show with this random Asian child who has no bearing on the story that is somehow forced into the whole thing for no fucking reason. Meanwhile, I got the top tier shit. Sorry. Yeah, you didn't. It sucks for you. We didn't have to see Master Chief's asshole.

Like, we're good. You didn't have to, like, have them bend over and get his ass eight. The fact that they spread his cheeks open. The fact that they spread his cheeks open in the show is crazy. Like, there's a scene where he gets a rectal. Wait, they showed Chiefs asshole? What did I miss this? They showed his sphincter and a little bit of the pink insides.

Where, like, he's getting a, he's getting a Spartan rectal exam. And on, on, and I quote, reach city, reach. I couldn't fucking believe that when I saw it. It's like, what city on reach is this? Oh, it's Reach City. Reach City. Fuck you.

What is that? You could have just made something up. At that point, Reach should have just been blown up. Like, the entire plan should have just been blown up after that. Oh, where are we? We're on Reach City and everything starts to explode. Light starts coming out the floor like an anime.

And it's like, what's going on? And everything blows up, dude. I like the idea that I'd propose. I like the idea of that the covenant finds reach. And then they're like, how'd you find us? It's like, it's the only city here. It's literally only one city. We just asked around for Reach City and we ended up here.

There's only one place called Reach City. I could not fucking believe that shit. Reach City. Yeah, God bless. That's pretty bad. It's fucking horrendous. But reach the fan is hard nowadays, bro. It is.

I mean, it is when they're stretching out the IPs, right? You got the company shitting on what you love too. There's a lot of things you're like, I'm afraid of, say, for example, Mega Man X, I'm actually afraid if they were to ever continue that series. Because I just, they already kind of,

it was really iffy in PS2 era where they made it 3D. And I'm like, this is weird. Let's be real. Let's be real. I played all of those games. They started veering. At a certain point, she started in fear.

Hey, X-5, up to X-5, in my opinion, solid. X-6 is starting to get a little weird. X-6 was really cool because you got to play as zero, and he was a demon, but it was veering. But to me, that's when the thing started shifting quite a bit. It was still good. Six was still good. Seven and eight are fucking don't exist to me, really. And I swear.

There were moments, you definitely fought vibrator man eventually. Like that's how crazy the enemies got It was like vibrating man And dildo boy You were like What? Iron laws boy What the fuck is this?

See that was Mega Man Mega Man. Mega man every single Enemy had to be Have man at the end And that was getting They were getting retarded At least on the X side

They had a little bit more liberty Most of them were still animal related Which is you know An interesting choice Somebody I think has a fetish You know You know Looking at a

I'm not going to go there. Dude, you get... We had to fight Negroid man twice. You begin... This is weird. You begin... You begin to lose the purity of the glue that holds franchises together after a certain point.

You know what I mean? Like, things are meant to end. Good things are meant to end. The whole point is that they conclude. And then you can be like, oh, that was great. You know, no one's thinking about like, oh, man, I wish they would reboot I Love Lucy. Like, why? Why would you want that?

Did you know that there's a fucking Did you guys know that there's a Frazier reboot? Did you know this? Yeah I heard of it and I had no fucking idea until yesterday that this existed. There's a phrase you know about that? Yes but ignore it now.

You have to ignore it. No yeah I can't. You didn't know about the Frazier reboot, Chris? No, I had no idea. We didn't talk about or nothing. Or if I didn't know about it, if I didn't know about it, I forgot immediately once I was told. Are you a Fraser fan?

Niles, I'm gay Niles Niles, I'm going to say the N-word in the middle of Seattle I wouldn't say... That's dangerous. Because you guys being Fraser fans is so weird because...

Dang it, Kelsey guy. Don't put that on me. Don't put that on me. I'm a Fraser fan because I was raised by an old woman who was a cheers fan. No. So that's why I like Fraserhead. You're a Frasier. You're a

Frasier. is what is what they call you in your figure that's not what they call Fraser fans he's stupid Frigger that's good no so Fraser I don't know like I Flickrigger I hate you oh whoa I don't uh let's not bring race into this I don't um I like Frasier fine I don't love like it's not I wouldn't say I'm a fan of Frazier it's like I I watch an episode. I've seen an entire episode before and I was like, that wasn't, that wasn't bad at all. But, like, it wasn't like the nanny or like, like, I was a bigger fan of like the nanny even.

Where like the nanny was like, Frigger adjacent. I don't know how you guys put up with her voice, bro. I don't know how you did it. It's awful. It is how you put up with her voice. I don't know how you do it. The show is really funny, but her voice is awful. I mean, she could, she could get it.

But like, I don't want to hear her say. anything. Like I'm not into I want to hear her I want to hear her read. I want to hear her read the entirety of the Declaration of Independence. I would hire her explicitly to do that. I would sit there naked. I would sit there naked in a hotel room with her and she

will be reading the Declaration of Independence. I'll be like yeah, keep reading. Keep reading. Read it again. No, I don't know. How does the declaration start? How does this start? Because I'm Hey, what's It's me, George Washington

We're independent now So, Hey everybody It just starts Hey everybody Hey everybody Yo was good Intro

What if you open Hey everyone What have you opened up the Declaration of Independence And even though it's a sheet of paper A GIF plays And it's a gift of George Washington Walking up to a cartoon woman

And chloroforming her and then dragging her off. And then it says George Washington. And then it This is how it starts. And then it's like the United States of America when the course of human events

it becomes unnecessary for one people to dissolve the political brands which have connected them with one another. Man, can you genzy this shit, bro? The earth.

Gensi it up for me, dude. I don't know what you're saying. The separate and equal stations to which the law of nature I literally can't understand what you're saying. God's entire entitle them. On God. England doesn't have rids.

Of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them. I'm going to kill myself right now. Stop it. I'm going to kill myself. You're actually reading the ice of events. You're just reading it. It reads kind of good though. You don't give credit to these fucking dusty ass friggers, man.

They were all. They were all lead-poisoned. Look, look, look, look, look. Some of them were racist, but not all of them, you know? Well, well. Some of them were not all of them. Not all of them. Okay, hold on.

Hold on. Hold on. None of them were abolitionists. The correct, the correct framing of that is they were most likely racist. In all likelihood, by nature of their surroundings, in their, their, their specific time. No, that's what I'm saying. Like, they were probably not all like extremely bigoted,

but they definitely had slaves and they weren't about to let them go. But they were like, it always says, maybe this is not the right. This is not the right. That looked like that. I love, like that.

I love the, no, you know, there were that one of them to do the whole thing, but they knew that the whole country wouldn't do that. Like, if they did all men were created equal, and then they were like,

we got to free blacks also. Oh, the country would be like, nah. Put us back to the, Take us all Frazier watchers. There is a charitable

There is a charitable interpretation of it where it's like, well, they needed the south They needed the South to win against England so like Yeah, yeah, it's good. We'll play nice for a little bit. That is a charitable interpretation, like, whatever, it's fine.

It's so long ago at this point that I don't, I can't care. Like, the people who like, George Washington was a piece of shit is like, I don't know, man. The dude was like, the dude chewed on lead for 40, 45 years. I don't know.

Like, he's probably objective. It reads kind of well, man. I mean, I don't... I just watch Hamilton, bro. I was not that long, actually. Watch Hamilton. Yeah, it's a short document.

My name is Tammy, and I'm here to say... It's not a very long document. Yeah. I hate Friggers because they're gay. But what we were talking about? Losing things that last too long, like lose their... The purity of the glue that holds them together. I even noticed that in Halo with...

at the end with reach. Because it used to be like all of the vehicles. There was a clear naming convention to distinguish between, between, you know, covenant and human. And like the humans named all of their vehicles after animals. And the covenant named all of their, or we named all the covenant vehicles after like apparitions and like kind of like supernatural, like ghosts, banshees,

revenant, wraiths. And then the, the humans were all like wardhogs, mongoose, squirons. Scorpion, fucking raven, pelican, all that shit. And then it started to get, like, in Halo Reach, you were like, oh, we have a spaceship. We're going to have a space battle. What would be just like, uh, saber? Just call it a saber. It's just like, like a saber tooth.

It's like, no. Didn't the space stuff always have like, like, like, weaponized names, though? Sort of, like, it's sort of. Like, it's, it's. I feel like, space always had, like, weapon names. What I'm saying is, like, you could see, you could see it starting a little bit. It's like, it's not too bad. yet. It's not too bad.

Do you nerding out right now? And then it gets, and then it gets, and then it gets fucking ridiculous. And that's what's going on with Star Wars and, and all these other, all these other things that refuse to die. I, I would like my favorite things to just rest. Ideally, forever. Yeah. Once they've hit a peak, you know, like, I don't need the same shit over and over again. Who the fuck needs that? That's, yeah. I, you know, they would be really smart to do the, um, oh, you know what? I heard that the, the, the, the, the, the, There's a show that has Daredevil, or not Dare, it has a Kingpin in it right now. What is it?

Oh, yeah. Hey, Harald. Yeah. Yeah. It's called Echo, dude. Echo, yeah. Echo, yeah. Hey, and then the subtext, Hey Arnold or something.

Echo, Echo, Echo the Dolphin? There's a show with King. Is it? Yeah, apparently. The Dolphin show with Kingpin in it? With Kingpin as the main antagonist. That's actually real. It's just a fat, dead guy underwater.

He's the, he's the, He's the villain. It's just a fat dead guy underwater. He's, like, so, he's eaten so poorly that his decomposing body is ruining the fish's ecosystem. And that's what makes him the bad guy. Yeah. Yeah, that's the whole premise of, you know, they got to bring Echo back, man, for real. They got to bring that back.

A next-gen-gen-Echo the Dolphin would kill. A next-gen-gen-Echon-Dohm would fucking murder. If you brought that back, everybody would be like, what the fuck this is happening? happening? Why? I have to play this. And then you got to put that character in Fortnite. Come on, man. You put a fucking dolphin in Fortnite. Like, come on. I like the idea that because, I like the idea that because Fortnite characters have to be humanoid,

it's just echoed the dolphin, but like with arms and legs. No, it's not. No, no, no. It's the same animation as echoed the dolphin. It's just echoed the dolphin's animation. So it looks like it's swimming, but technically the frame date is invisible. more what it really would be. So there's a, it's, the motion of the character is a human. Like the frames are human,

but, but it's a dolphin swimming animation-wise. And everybody's like, where's its head? I'm shooting in the head, but it's not taking critical damage. Do you guys remember, wrong?

Do you guys remember Echo the Dolphins famous, uh, do you guys remember Echo the Dolphins famous phrase, his catchphrase from the games? was it like I want you to I want you to guess you guys will never guess this

this is the craziest shit ever this is a lie I'm sure but okay something like humans or friggers or something like that something like that

no it's am I close no echo the dolphin's famous phrase that he says at the end of Echo the Dolphin 1 not echo the dolphin 2

echo the dolphin 1 is I am a dolphin and that's how the game ends. He turns to the camera and he says, I am a dolphin, and that's the entire phrase. Mm-hmm.

Do you imagine that? It is coming back to me. That is what happens. It's coming back to you. It is now. Go play Echo the dolphin right now. It's not. I beat two, definitely.

At two at the end of two, he just swims away. And there's like a bunch of happening and he's swimming. Kixon, I lie. There is no, I go to the dolphin, too. There is. Oh, there is. What are you talking about?

This is the same shit. This has happened to me again. Again, it's a full circle. People are telling me this game isn't real. And I'm saying there is a second one. I mean, it's definitely real. I would be in the middle of third grade talking about this game. Everybody's looking to be like I'm a fucking man man.

I'm like, you guys in Echo the Dolphin? It's a real game. You stop aliens. And they're like, what are you talking about? You play as a dolphin You go collect stuff and you eat fishies And you stop aliens And they thought I would say

You told them you eat fishies Yeah You eat fished That's why they thought you were insane That's why they thought you were fucking crazy It's fucking retard There's no I was insane

Dolphine fish is preposterous Yes Absolutely out of my school It's insane It's insane to call fish It's insane to call fish fishies For sure As a third grader it's kind of okay

No It's no No No You'd get beat up and molested for that. You should have been thrown off the highest fucking cliff. Like euthanized like they did in Sparta.

You fucking idiotish. Sparta. Do you guys think you would have been euthanized? You think you guys would have been like thrown off the cliff if you were born in Sparta? Yeah. Or you think you guys would have made it. Yeah. No way.

There would have been like this kid can't see. I don't think anyone I know would have made it. Yeah. How do you even? How do you even determine this shit? Like, what the fuck? I know that you, okay, there's obvious deformities that they would just like, oh, yeah, then they would just throw them down as hard as they possibly could.

But then like, what about people that, yeah. Imagine, whatever, fully, truly, really with your whole heart, really conceptualize that experience. You are, you have, you are having the most traumatizing experience probably ever. in being born, right? You're being born, all the disgusting, everything about that that's unpleasant.

And then a grizzled guy looks at you, frowns, and then tosses you off. You're going skydiving before you even understood what the sky is. And now you're plummeting at the will of gravity

onto jagged rocks. And that's the entire, that is 100% of your life. 100% of your life is trauma Even Totally Percentage wise Even

Like I understand That's gonna sound crazy Even if you were like In a concentration camp Right And you were starved for like four years and killed Depending on your age That's like

Maybe 30% of your life You know If you were like an adult by the time you got in there. You had a decent amount of life to let you had some pleasures. You had some like nice days. You had like probably friends. You had a good laugh.

Imagine plummeting to the ground before you've ever laughed. That's so crazy. That is so insane. In the Robes just did that. In concept, it's crazy, you know? Like in concept, that's wild. As a concept, yeah. In reality, obviously it's not, yeah, yeah.

It's finite. It's finite. That's super finite, whatever, got to toss them. Backboard. Hit him off a fucking other rock and he'd fall down even faster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd call corner pocket, and I'd hit him off a rock in the fucking direct corner of the ocean. But, like, there you go.

They threw babies off clubs because what? They were fucking, they weren't crying. A baby was just looking up at the sun. They were like, ah, this baby's dumb. Just the baby's dumb as fuck. And they would throw it as high as they possibly could and then see what happened. I like the idea that a baby is stupid. if it's not crying

like it must be like you're born and you're not crying you've just you've come into this world and you're not immediately crying what the fuck is wrong with you off the cliff you go you should be crying

because this is hell 100 oh man all Spartan kicks all Spartan kicks all Spartan kicks baby that's not crying you're like oh yours dumb

so move on to dumb Let's move on to some questions from our audience over at patreon.com slash a snark tank. Remember, $1, $1 gets you early ad-free access. So if you're listening on Spotify and you're being interrupted by 40 different ads about, I don't know, jolking powder and adult diapers. I don't know. I don't know what it is you guys.

I don't know what it is you guys buy. You don't use powder for jolking, bro. Hook me up. You don't use it. You don't use powder for jolking? No, you don't. You don't need it for joking. When I jelke, I use powder.

Yeah. What you use. You use a, what happens? You get a warm, a warm towel, and you place it over your genitals. And then you leave it there. You get almost hard. You don't get hard. You get almost hard.

Right, right, right. And then there's a series of stretching exercises. It's pretty cool, but gunpowder. I use powder, specifically. I use powder personally. I also joke in the opposite direction. I try to flatten my dick out. Oh, that's actually smart, because it is all.

It is all about girth, you know? Yeah, yeah. So I'm making it really wide. You don't need to hit the back walls, man. You need to fill it. You need to fill the hole. I've joked more than I'm proud. I've joked more hours in my life than I'm proud of admitting.

Dude, I can't stop it, really. Like, sometimes I'll get on a jolking spree. I'll wake up. I'll wake up. It'll be 10 a.m. And I'm just like, I'm joking. And then before I know it, it's winter. I'm like, God, I've been jolking for 13 months.

God's darn. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool, man. Joke summer away. God dare. Let's move on to some questions. You frying pork with that horse pussy? Rodin.

Pretty cool. God Christ. The reason Jidian, so he says the reason Jidian never posted the EDP caught video is because he's a born-again Christian. Please check his channel. What the fuck is that? Is that real?

I don't know what a born-again Christian is? Sounds like a Grisian. to me. Yeah, I mean, there's no way that's real. Apparently he's Christian. Yeah, right. Christians are not, can I say something? Christians are not Christian.

Of course they're not. They're just not. They're in name only. I think they like the aesthetics of Christianity or like the presumption of like having dedicated yourself to something deeper than yourself without actually doing it. I have never met in my life.

I've never in my life met a Christian. Ever. Actually. Like, sincerely, like, everybody's like, oh, I go to church. It's like, yeah, okay. Okay, you go to church. I have some family members that are legitimately. Nice out of wedlock family you have, by the way. That's sick.

That's really cool. That, that nice, good job. Oh, man. I have some family that are, that legitimately, my grandma, before she passed, actually, was probably the most. Even when it came to the subject of death and the way that she behaved was actually like, we're not sad here this is a celebration

they're moving on to paradise so she wouldn't be distraught in a way that even when like say some my uncle's passed and I was like actually very like oh wow she genuinely believes in this shit because

everybody else you see crying their eyes out at the fucking funerals and stuff and I'm like why are you sad they're literally going to fucking paradise they just hit the lottery unless you think they're burning for all eternity. No, it's still sad. We'll see, here's the thing.

Why is it sad? Because your time with them on this plane for X amount of time is cut short. For a very extremely finite amount of time and then there's eternity. I mean, it's still sad. How? Because you're like, oh, well, now, as long as I'm going to be here right now. Do you feel distraught when, like, are you crying your eyes out when, like, you know, your family visited you and they go get back on the plane and leave?

Are you depressed for fucking. Years on in and crying and shit. When I would leave Jamaica, I'd be sad as shit. Did I see my family for a while? You would be crying and bawling your eyes out. I cried when I left my grandma in Jamaica. Yeah, 100% I cried. And then when I went to London, I didn't see them in years.

Because you never know when you're going to see them again, you know. Yeah, but why? Never know. But do you see, do you hear your language? You say you don't know when you're actually going to see them again. Your language meaning, do you mean like you don't know when you're going to see them again within a recent amount of time? Or do you mean like forever? Or in general?

Or in general? In general. So like I'm saying like, I'm not, I'm not Christian, right? So like for instance, right now, like,

but see, your emotion makes sense. But like them, right? Like, because, you know, they're still,

because no matter even if you have faith, there's still a bit of doubt in your mind, obviously, because there's still humans, you know, believing,

believing 100% is still a fucking, nearly improbable thing. The, yeah. The thing to me, though, is just like, the thing to me is just like,

dude, you can't just sort of do this. You know what I mean? That's my thing as well. It would be like It would be like it's not even just It's just like oh hey I'm a vegan But like I'll have chicken on Mondays

And it's like well That's not That's not what that is And it's okay that's not what that is Why do you feel like you need to call yourself A vegan in the first place If you know you're just not doing that Like I understand that people contain multitudes

Nobody's just any one thing but like it's just, it's just very silly to me that people would do that. Especially as an excuse for this where it's like, oh yeah, I don't want to share this video of me catching a pedophile because I'm a born again Christian? What?

Yeah, it happens. I mean, I do see that I do see that he has only two videos on his channel and, you know, like, let's be real, people do get wrapped into this shit. Like, I've known one of my, and I will say one of my closest friends he became a born-again Christian

when he was going through some drug issues and really helped him. Once he got better, he kind of realized like, I'm being insane and I'm going to go back to, you know, the person who I was. Using drugs.

He wasn't, for most of his life, he wasn't that person. So he went back to the person he was most of his life. He didn't imagine, he's like, I'm going to go back to his thing. There's something, can I ask you guys something?

It's like, I don't know if this is just me being, I don't know if this is just me being a little unfair. I just realized my light was awful. Father. I'm going to use more math. Thanks, Derek. Thanks for getting me out of this run I was in. Anytime, bro. Do you guys feel like sometimes, and I'm not saying

all the time, but like on occasion this will happen where like I will see somebody go through, not necessarily well, not go through, that's the wrong word because I don't know what they're going through necessarily. But I will notice a character shift in the sense that like, oh, I am now very, very, very religious. Right. That kind of immediately strikes me as like, what the fuck did you do?

And I don't know why I feel, I don't know why I feel that way, but like immediately I'm like, what the fuck do you think, what, what are, what did you do that made you feel like you had to talk to the universe or conspire with like life itself to be forgiven for it? Probably just like that's I get that but like And I think that's true for most people I'm not saying this of anybody that I know personally by the way Like I just I see it sometimes where it's like online right

Or like somebody would be like oh I'm suddenly like a born again Christian It's like what did you do man What did you do? What did you do? What did you do that you needed to that you needed to believe that you just had to go into like a weird wooden booth and talk to some guy for like two minutes and say a couple Hail Mary's to be cleansed of it. That's Catholicism.

Right. That is strictly to that. So the thing is, I would say what and why, right? Because I know a handful of people, and I see it on TV, watch 9-day fiancé, people converting to get pussy. That is a major factor for a lot of people. Oh, I belong to this, whatever, so I'm going to convert. and they don't give a shit about it.

I was Jewish for two afternoons, bro. I always feel like it's so disrespectful. Like I'm watching a guy go to the Philippines or whatever. And then the dad's like, you can't marry her unless you become Muslim. And then this redneck dude's like, sure. And I'm like, do you not feel insulted that this guy clearly doesn't give a fuck about a religion all and just wants to have sex with your daughter? Like, does that not even? He doesn't care.

As long as he says the magic word. the dad's like, cool, now you can, you know, pathetically have sex with my daughter because you're nothing. And he's happy. But I've known a guy who became a Jehovah's Witness because of that. And I'm like, all right. So there is that. You know the guy too.

You know the guy too. But some guy I converted to Judaism to get a girl and he broke up with a girl. They were going to get married and shit. And they split up. And I laughed at him for it. I laughed at him to his face. I thought it was fucking ridiculous. And he was but her.

for a little bit, then he realized, oh, yeah, that's absolutely the stupidest shit ever. And I was like, yeah, that's really fucking dumb. I would do it, I think. People, people get. That's so stupid. I just feel like people should feel so disrespected in that sense. Like, oh, I'm going to convert for you. That means you don't fucking care about this thing.

No, right, right, exactly. No, but that's kind of how I feel about it where it's just like, yeah, okay, whatever. I don't care. I'm sure. Yeah, I know you would have a problem, but I feel like they should. No, they should, but like I like the idea that they should, but they don't. It makes me feel like I'm getting something, getting away with something. Like the idea of just like, wow, you really don't give a shit that I, I am not, you think I'm going to pray, bro?

What the fuck? I'm pulling my dick out the dirt right now to fuck you. Out of the dirt. I'm giving you the most filthy, you surper dick ever. And you're crazy. take you with a smile you suck bitch you suck hey man yeah I just to me that

to me that was never a bad that is a Seinfeld episode about that too where George converts to fucking Latvian Orthodox or something because he's just like yeah Latvian Orthodox that's crazy yeah because I don't think they could use a real Is that a real religion I don't think so well

there's Eastern European Orthodox Christianity So probably Like they they look very It's very similar to Catholicism Oh, it is. It's real. That's fucking... I thought they just made up like a

realistic sounding name of a religion for the show to not offend people because it was on network television, but I guess it's real. But, yeah, his whole justification was like, yeah, I don't care. Like, it makes no difference to me. But...

Right. I could... First of all, I could never, because I respect myself too much. Respects. Well, I mean... But yourself to what? Like, you just have to sign...

You just have to pretend. To lie to a God for pussy? It depends. There is nothing. You're not lying to anything. Well, like, I'm lying to the girl. I'm lying to the person. No?

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's be fucking, let's be real. She got with you. I've lied to women a lot. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

But in this, in this, in this, in this scenario, she got with you before you were a part of that religion. so clearly she doesn't care. It's only her parents. She was like, hey, I like you a lot, but we can't be together because you're not, I don't know, a fucking space Jew. And I'll be like, all right, whatever. But that's not what it is. It's about the fact that like, oh, it's always like, oh, well, my parents won't sign off on this unless you're like, I don't think, I really don't think that a relationship between two people in that context. I don't think the spouse cares whether or not you're genuinely Latvian Orthodox.

I think, or like, I don't know why we're sick with Latvian Orthodox, but like, I think whether or not you're a part of that religion, you're right? Huh? I think, but I think if they truly believe they, well, well, I mean, look, that's kind of, that's kind of a thing where it's like, it's like half and half. Yeah, sure. Like, right, it is, it's definitely one foot in, one foot out. That's definitely true. And you're right that most of the time it is because of the parents that the family wouldn't, would reject them. It's most of the time is a parental thing. I once went on a couple of dates with a girl that was,

and me being the nice guy that I am, I could have pulled her into hell. I could have, you know, she was on the, what is the word I'm looking for? She was at a crossroads. Her parents were like pastors or whatever the fuck. They were in the church, but she was having a, you know,

what is it called? Crisis of faith. She was having a crisis of faith. She was hanging with me, I could have easily pulled her into hell, right? I could have been like burning. Let's burn together. But I knew just like I was like I know that she will regret this at some point

Especially she might have to make that hard choice to complete disrespect her parents if we ever started date I was just like nah you get closer to God kind of a thing I'm just not like I'm sorry I'm sorry that I'm not a monster I wish I was she white she was so white she was as a black man as a black man as a black man as a black man as a black man as a black man as a black man Black man. Go ahead. You have to always make white women's parents upset. That is part of us existing.

You know what it's interesting? That is part of the reason why I'm here. You know what I will say? So I invited her. I went to my friend's wedding with her however many years ago. And I was like, oh, God, I was going to pick her up from her house. And I was like, guy, do not want to meet her fucking parents. Because, you know, they're immediately probably going to start foaming at the mouth and barking

at me and shit. But actually they were like they were like I was like these are some real Christians right here like these are the nicest they weren't Mormon but they seemed Mormon. If you've ever met like Mormons on average are so nice that it seems cult like

you guys are so nice that it's actually creepy but that's not that they were so fucking nice and I was like oh wow you have no problem with me that like I'm a degener with holes in my ears and tattoo on my neck and shit and they were just so like Like, well, hey, nice to meet you and so great.

Now, maybe they threw up after I left, but I don't know, dude. It was, uh, I, I, I, I, Mormons are, Mormons are strange because, like, honestly, like, some of the, some of the coolest people I've met have been Mormons. I don't know what that's about. Or, like, have, or at least were Mormons at some point. You know what I mean? It's strange. Two, same. Two of my, so one of them, so they're both siblings for me.

You've probably seen for Chris as well. Well, the perfect siblings for me, the same people. One of them, she became one of my best friends in knowing her because she was Mormon. And the other one is like a big brother to me who's always had great advice on my side as a Mormon. And they're both no longer part of the religion. But it's insane how often,

because Mormonism is very racist. It's like extremely racist. I mean, they all are. But yeah. Extremely homophobic and fucking... It's like bad. Their racism is hilarious, though. Like, there's, like, our skin is a result of basically going against God.

Yes. It is a sense. We're black because we're sinners. It is fucking phenomenal. And, bro, there's this girl in my high school. They're super misogynistic, which is crazy. I mean, that's the most. I met.

The Mormon that my first exposed to Mormon. Yeah. Was the opposite of that mentality. Absolutely. Yeah. He was so not. any of those things at all. Just Mormon by...

His sister was so opposite of those things as well. And I'm just like, Mormons are kind of lit. Mormon by name. And then there's some, there's the real ones. There's like the Mitt Romneys, right,

that fucking marry and live in Mexico and have a 10,000 wives or however many wives it has. And then you have the other ones that are just kind of like floating around with the marker. And they really don't truly because the modern churches don't teach that stuff.

The modern church doesn't teach the origins. Or just, hey, how did our religion get founded? Well, that's not, obviously, that's never going to be taught. Because if you learned that, you'd be like, oh, this is the dumbest fucking thing ever heard of my life. So you're just rolling with it. And I knew some people like that, too. The only part was, I wonder if she was being nice. She said that she couldn't date if she was 16 because we were a freshman.

And so, like, I asked her to a dance. Now, to be fair, she was cool, but, I mean, we're fucking freshmen. She late bloomer is all I got to say. Not me, sorry, early bloomer is what I got to say. Like, her boobies were just fucking like, they filled up the classroom. And I'm just like, hey, you want to go to the dance? And she's like, oh, I'm sorry, I can't date until I'm 16. Maybe that's a true thing.

But at the same time, maybe she was saving me of heartache of being like my parents absolutely would not like let me lay hands on you. And I'd be like, fair. You know, it's fair enough. I heard that. Yeah, she has. Not for any racial reason, not for any racial reason just because of the person, the kind of person that I am. but it's like it's it's not your race

it's not your race or religion it's just it's just your personality and everything that you stand you you suck you I don't like how you laughed at that video that guy dying in the microwave and so like I don't know I'm dying I've never got that

I've always gotten um I was kind of like I have a boyfriend I have a boyfriend A boyfriend And I'm like All right, cool And then a few of those girls I still got late

I still banged them But like you know Dad boyfriend You guys ever been rejected in a way That like it really fucking stung Like it really like Oh fuck I definitely got ill when I was younger once

Mm No When I was younger Then I got her back Because I fucked her best friend I got back I was like her best friend That's so petty

I was very proud for a moment I was a way worse person When I was younger I was way worse than I am now because I was very spiteful. He pretends like he's different now. He pretends like he's not spiteful. I'm not spiteful at all. What the fuck you're talking about?

You're a very, look at that. Look at that. Look at that. I'm not spiteful at all. Look at spite. So much hate. Spite bleat rolling off of him. That's my thing like, oh, whatever, dog.

You're like spite lee. We're like spite lee. We're like a spite leet. You're like a spite. Crazy. You're like a spite chea pet. I can see the spite growing out of you. Spite, spite, spite, spite, spite, spite. spite, spite, spite, spite, spite, spite.

It just does not work at all. Not even a little, man. I've never been, I've never been, I've never been rejected ever just because I never, I never really put myself out there. I never gave them the power to reject me. You, shut up, you fucking, you sound like, what do they call it, Sigma? What do they call it, Sigma Energy? You saw like one of them Sigma motherfuckers. I understand that is what it sounds like, but I'm not even...

Because I'd beat them up afterwards. So they'll be too scared to reject me. I understand. I understand that that sounds like posturing. I understand what that sounds like, but I'm not even remotely kidding. And it's not even like a point of pride. It's literally the opposite. I was just like, I was literally just too nervous to ever approach anybody.

And so I just never... That's all it was before. You made that one comment. That's what it would be. It'd be like, oh, we're too nervous to approach girls. So I never really got rejected. But now it's like, nah, I'm too much of a sigma. And I'm too cool.

It's like, nah. You're autistic and weird. You just have crazy levels of autism. No, I think what it is, it's like, it's hard to, I don't know, it's just weird. And maybe, I don't know, Derek can relate to this. Maybe not. But for me, I always just felt it was, like, strange as a, like, I could get girls, but not in the way that a lot of other people, like, I felt like as a short guy, I couldn't just go. up to people. Like, I felt like, I felt like, genuinely, like, I couldn't just do that. Because there's

something about looking up to people, like, physically. I don't mean, like, I don't mean, like, as, like, a premise or anything. I just mean, like, literally, like, the physical feeling of looking up to somebody and hitting on them feels strange. And it just doesn't, it's like, it throws you, it throws me off entirely. So I just, I wrote off that entire thing. I was just like, I'm not, I'm not going to approach people at, like, a bar or something. That's not going to be my goal. First of all, I look young as fuck. People are going to assume I'm like 16 all the time. So that's not going to help me.

I'm also short so that doesn't help. I'm not a baby face until I was like 25, 26. So like that the whole approaching people, strangers was just never, that was never on the table for me. What was on the table for me was like I would make, I would just meet people organically and like just sort of showcase my personality over a period of time. And then eventually women would be like, oh, hey, I like you. Hey, can I show you my pussy? And you're like, yeah, I guess so. Right, exactly.

And that's what it is. But I could never approach somebody at a bar and, like, hit on them. It's like, what the fuck am I going to do? That's interesting. I didn't really, it wasn't until I started becoming a YouTuber. I didn't notice. And I legitimately, I did not even think about me being short. Like, on average.

Yeah, I did. It didn't occur to me because in, I guess, in my realm, it just wasn't a thing. There was never, like, I noticed some of my friends having massive growth spurts, but then so most of my friends on average were around 5-8, 5.9. So they weren't that much taller than me. So I didn't really even pay attention to it. And most women, most women were shorter than me. Most of them were, I knew were smaller than 5'6. So I just didn't think about it too much.

Yeah, well for me, I always had crushes on taller girls. So like the only people that I would want to approach where people was like, and it's not even necessarily that it was like, oh, this is such a problem. It's just like, it's just something, it's things that I notice in social situations where like, I don't care about the fact that I am short. I care about how being short impacts the small conveniences. Like I remember I was at Alana Pierce's birthday party at a bar and it was cool. It was like, it was like this really loud bar and it was like very loud.

And it was a bunch of people It was like Eddie Burbank and Jakey and some other people These are tall motherfuckers These are tall people These are not short people at all And so like I straight up Cannot hear them As they're talking to me

Because they're literally just Too far away from me to hear them And so like I'm just like I can't I can't hear you You know what's funny But what's funny about that too It was like Oh go go ahead go what

No I was you can No no go go go What's funny about that is because like their girlfriends are my height and I could hear them perfectly fine. So I always get along like a little bit better in those environments with people's girlfriends. And then that comes across is really messed up. That comes across. Is that the excuse you're telling yourself, bro?

I'm not joking. I swear. I can't hear them. I'm not joking. I didn't say that. I just said like I can hear them. It's like, oh, I can actually talk to you and not like scream. or not fucking foes.

Like, dude, I was talking to Eddie, and I like Eddie a lot. But, like, he was talking to me, and I was like, I just had to guess what was being said the entire time at that party. And it was just like, man, I wish I was taller.

I just thought I would talk with those moments. I actually, I do, because, like, most of my friends aren't tall like that. So it wasn't a major issue when shit like that would happen. But when we hung out with Ethan, Ela, that one time at that barcade, they're a lot taller than us.

Like, I think he's like six foot. Ela looks like she's like 510, 511 or some shit. Or maybe your shoes made her seem that way. You can climb a six feet tall? Ela, Ela was just under Ethan. And maybe I said maybe it was their shoes. Like, you can see them standing next to each other anytime. Ethan's tall?

Yes, he's like he's pretty much six foot. I don't know that actually. I don't remember that. I don't remember that. But I do know what you're talking about. I don't know because like say especially yeah, they're just they're a lot taller. They're a lot taller. And my thing is I don't wear like there's people that wear shoes that have thicker platforms or thicker souls that'll give them a little bit of a boost.

I'm always wearing chucks and stuff that are like have nothing. And so I don't get that boost at all. And so people when they were, it was loud in the bar, fucking. music. There's a goddamn DJ in one of the fucking rooms, which I can't the idea of having a barcade and a fucking DJ, I'm like, do you think fucking people that want to drink and play video games

want to hear loud ass music? It's stupid. It's the stupidest fucking thing you can do. Because it's like people that want to go to a club, go to a club, and then people want to go to barcades, drink beer and play video games want to do that. And I can't fucking hear over the music. But anyway, it was a, I just get upset that L.A.

L.A. proper had two barcades And I'm like, how is this like one of the most famous cities in the fucking world? It's crazy. Yeah. The best concepts. There was a place. I went to a place called Battle and Brew in Atlanta, Georgia. It was the coolest fucking place ever been to my life.

It was a giant and there was a bunch of private rooms. You can have parties. There was gaming chair. People playing CSGO. People playing Dota. In the huge place, a huge bar. I was like, how the fuck is this not over here in the West Coast? it's just like

I don't I don't get it Yeah the West Coast is really bad at At capitalizing on that shit It's really It is truly fucking baffling But it makes no sense to me Yeah I don't know man

I'm sure The problem is that is also true Yeah Oh that's a good point And then they're like up We can't afford to rent first It's not a few people game Kings I'm curious

Because like I feel like When we all hang out I feel like most of our friends are shorter Yeah So like Do you Like do you

Like do you But but so when When we're at the bar Or at like a barcade Can you hear us Yeah Yeah You hear us just fine

That's why That's not what that is I'm actively listening I guess we've never been To be fair We've never been I don't think we've ever been to I don't think us or our friends

Have ever been to a bar At the same place That is as loud as that bar Was that not? That was easily without a shadow of a doubt the loudest bar I've ever been in by far. Like, by a lot. Like, it was basically like a fucking concert. And I was just like, yo, this is too loud for a bar, man.

It's a cool bar, too. It's a cool bar, it's nice. But, like, it's just like, dude, lower it a little. Not like crazy. It could still be loud. And, like, you could just let me have a conversation without having to yell. Because then everybody's yelling and then it's twice as loud. It's fucked.

I hate them, dude. I can't do that. That's the worst. That's the, well, like, I'm not, I'm not, fucking, I don't have any. sensory fucking issues. It's just, it's just objectively stupid to be in that environment.

It's never good. Yeah. Fucking going to clubs and shit and you got to fucking literally yell in people's ears so they can hear you. Literally leaning into them, yell in their ear,

and then you lean back so then they can lean into your ear and yell. Like that is a fucking stupid environment to be in. I specifically bought ear plugs, specifically for it. Like specifically

for like I have a bag of ear plugs that I use for like when I go out to like bars and stuff. Specifically not necessarily because it's like not because it's too loud but because I notice and I noticed this at at Bar Sinister specifically because me Paul and Jalen and our friend Justin went a couple months ago to Bar Sanister and Bar Sinister is super fucking loud and I noticed when I was trying to talk to people like if I plugged my ears I could hear them perfectly fine. I think it's just because like the type of You know the type of frequencies that that mutes Versus the type of frequencies that go through is like just It works You're like I'm just gonna do that A lot of reverberation which is that's the worst part of being in those environments

That there is so much fucking noise bouncing up and down That you know you can focus on the vibration that's directly hitting you Right It's yeah I can hear fucking completely clearly at a bar with like earplugs And I'm like I have a bag full of them and now that's just my All right I'm going I'm going here and I'm gonna use this So I can fucking talk to people and actually hear them because it's crazy.

I have a better solution. I don't fuck. I just, I don't like I stop. If people that want to go to these really fancy places where it's all loud and shit, I'm like, I'm not going. I just don't.

I'm like, I just want to go somewhere we can, I will go to a less popular place so we can just hear each other and just chill. Like I can't do that shit, dude. I can't be in those environments. They're just, I don't, how the fuck is that enjoy?

I don't understand how that's enjoyable. Like, how is this better than having. drinks at home. I don't get it. I literally don't get it. It makes no sense to me. Like, are we out to get like strange pussy? Is that the point of being here? I mean, that's not, you know, because that's literally the only being at a club and, okay, so well, there you go. That that changes it. So, like, because I have no reason to do that at all. So there's no appeal. Yeah, yeah. That's why I don't go to those things anymore. Yeah, no. Yeah. There's no reason for

a married person to be at a club. Like, there's like literally zero. I just so what I'm doing here. Yeah, I'm speaking of, I'm speaking retarded. because now I'm thinking like, of course, I'm not single. That's the only reason you would go to those places. I realize that. Like, that's why I'd for long in everybody. Everybody's like, let's go to clubs. And I'm like, guys, I'm already dating somebody.

I'm out. I'm out. I don't want to go meet people anymore. I'm fucking done. I don't, fuck everybody there. Everybody can die. I don't get to die. Everybody can die.

It's true. I don't want to stand. I don't want to stand up for three hours, barely be able to move, have a bunch of dumb noise and get rejected by it and then fucking talk to somebody whose boyfriend's going to show up and try to fight you know how many times that's happened to me at fucking clubs when I'm at a club and I'm just having a simic kind of somebody has to get a tattoo I'm like oh that's a sick tattoo of a diggemon of some stuff I'm like oh that's sick tattoo and I'm having a conversation with them and me being myself I make girls laugh I that is my nature because that's all I've ever practiced doing growing up to get pose making girls laugh then her boyfriend comes up who fucks this and it's some fucking four foot eight Mexican dude and I'm like dude and I'm like dude I can kick you so hard, you'll grow. He's like, who's this fucking, you, man? You're beating me very God. I'm like, dog, get out of my face, Juan.

Fuck you. You fix my scoliosis, eh? Oh, she away. See, I don't feel like dealing with that. I'm sorry, fool, but like. Yeah, I don't feel like. Yeah, I don't feel like. Yeah.

But yeah, I get it. Yeah. Okay. I got in trouble. I got that only had that happened to me once in, in fucking in Vegas. Actually. Nice. In Vegas, when we went, when Derek

Jaylon went. Is that one of the ones that I skipped? Because I remember I skipped one of the nights. Do you remember the night that me and Jalen went out to like 7 a.m. or some fucking outrageous time like that? It was that day where we were out dancing to like 6 a.m. literally. Like the sun was kind of like, it's fucking nuts. And we were just dancing.

We were drunk and I was just dancing with this girl. And then some guy came and was like, yo, what are you doing? I was like, I don't. No. I was there. I was there. I remember. That was that, it was like in an upstairs environment. Yeah. It was like a rooftop thing or something. It was like a roof. I was there. I remember I didn't go the first night for whatever

reason. I think I got like had too much to drink during the day and I didn't want to go at night. But yeah, I do remember. I told, it's coming back to me now. I remember that there was an issue. There was there was the conflict. I completely forgot about that. It was wild and I was like, hey man. Yeah. I don't want to die in Vegas. Yeah Yeah, we're dancing like fucking jackasses I remember getting some dumb bitches Instagram

I don't I don't remember I remember that too Something Yeah some something there was I don't remember faces But I do remember there being an issue That good times man Good times

Yeah, it's fun Good times Yeah All right Let's get on to It's got on to another question We were I don't know We just rambled for a while

John Malcovitch died last week He says hey What's up small smaller and big talentless bitch damn Jesus Christ shit dude that would hurt my feelings I wasn't getting paid for you selling me that

That would hurt my feelings If you weren't literally paying my bills telling me this question You fucking dumb cunt Thanks for paying my bills you asshole You dumb bitch Who's talented now you You idiot cunt

You fucking jack fuck Jack fuck So beautiful. That's like, my dad would call me a... No, my favorite one is rat F-word, because it's so mean. It's such a mean phrase that calls somebody. It is pretty... It's like, yo.

I like rat. Rat bastard is pretty good, too. It's like very specific. Just adding rat on an insult is so mean. My dad, my dad would sometimes, he would call me a dip shit. And I thought that was like the funniest. When I was a kid, I thought dip shit was like the funniest thing I never. heard because it's the image that that invokes

is so fucking disgusting. Yeah. Dipped and shit. Yeah, dipping shit. I think of like the dip. You know that fucking candy? Yeah, the fun dip. Yeah, that weird medicine stick thing. Yeah, fun dip. Yeah. I always think of that. I think of that stupid thing and then dipping it

in shit. That's always like a dip shit. For me, dick heads a good one too. Because dickhead, the idea of your head is a dick is so fucking funny. Like like a sponge bob level transformation where like when I call Zedikad he's like, I'm not a dickhead and your head is literally

a penis. That shit is just that funny fucking idea to me. Yeah. Anyway, he writes in, he says, what the hell is keeping Sweeney from pursuing genuine passions that don't involve Digimon cards? It's funny that he brought this up because you are,

I mean, we talk to... I literally am. Well, we're not... We probably shouldn't talk about it. I'm not going to reveal all of it right now, but I've a plan to do something that's actually like a passion product I might have had for a long time. It does technically to do it Digimon. It does technically have to do it. I mean, it has to do with me

my nerds that I love. That's awesome. This guy's like. There's a nerds that I love. But like, yeah. I have an idea to do something similar to that. Are you starting a Digimon cover band?

I'm not, why would I start a fucking cover band? Just just on the cover band. That's one song. That's one song. Like, maybe two, because I imagine there's going to be... Where the Digimon cover bed, guess what we're going to play?

Guess. Like, there's got to be two versions of the theme song, right? Like, there's got to be the Japanese version. But I'm not doing that. That's so stupid. What is the... I've never heard the original, probably an original version. Like, because I'm sure it's not...

Oh, the Japanese one? Yeah, Digimani, digital monsters. Didi Manu... I don't think that's it. You know. have to be racist, but okay. You didn't have to do that part. You could have just been like, I know

what it sounds like. We all know what it sounds like. It's an iconic song. You didn't have to go to. Change into the digital champions. All right. Let's move on. Let's move on. Save ourselves.

Absolutely didn't have to go there. The hot soup rode in. He says, hey, uh, okay, go ahead. Hello, Christoph, Strand, strand pistol, Thomas Schweeney and direction.

Swarsman. I don't know. I can't read those. As my government mandated participation, yeah, I don't know. As my government participated mandated, wait, what? As my government mandated participation, I'd like each of you to come up with a wrestling persona, your name, your signature move, and the theme that plays when you enter the ring. And if you're a heel or a baby face, it's all up to you. I don't know what any of this means. I've had this completely. I've had this completely. completely thought up already because my

homies and I, we were going to do there's a there is a thing called South Paul regional wrestling that was made up. It was like a fake wrestling promotion within the WWU universe and a lot of wrestlers had these fake personas

and we were going to do a version of that and so we had of course with the first thing we come up with the sexual wrestling federation, who cares, whatever, who cares what it's called that's what it's called. And we had the alt writer. He was was one of the famous heels

of course it came on on the khakis and the tiki torch can you guess what the alt-rider's finishing move is just take a guess think

think racist think Hitler think of something that like sounds like a finishing move yeah think of a finishing move that a racist the final solution

would do yes bravo bravo so he had the final solution I'm really good at entering the mind of a Nazi

I'm really good at it. I just like when I give, I just like when I give you what it feels like obvious clues to me and then people get it, I feel, I get happy. I hate when I try to give people, I'm like, I'm throwing you, no, I'm putting it on a tee ball for you. And then they'll be like, oh. You got to play taboo, though.

That's the next time. Yeah, I was just, I was just thinking that. Shit. Taboo, dude, taboo, dude, our friend Tyler. Oh, yeah. Oh, my fucking God. Have we not talked about this other show? We have not talked about it.

That was unbelievable. Shameful. You tell it. You tell it. You tell it. Okay. So what happens one time, so what happened is every so often, one of our good friends, Nikki Ziggins and other good friend, Indie Butternife, Tyler, we all hang out every so often.

So Derek came into town. So everybody was like, oh, we got to make sure we all hang out with each other. You know, at the Christmas house. And we had pizza. We watched. Chris and Derek massacre people and I got the Final 4. So good.

And we were listening to the big iron on his hip while you guys were murdering people in a hospital in TTA4. And then we played taboo. Tapu is a game when you have a word and then there's several words below it that you cannot men, you cannot say those words, but

they have to guess the word at the top. So one of the words was cereal. And what he said was it's like soup and our friend Ziggy almost had an aneurysm but what makes it worse I thought you were gonna talk about the other thing

oh no this one is crazy he's leading up to it he's leading up to it the second one they had was the word was mermaid and I forgot how he messed it up so bad she was like it lives in a sea and he was like oh the fish the little fish No, it was No Yeah, yeah Go ahead

Derek You do it Chris Derek I think Remembers I think So what it was Was I think the clue was Like the

The word was Mermaid Yeah And he said Ariel is what Or something No she said Ariel is what

She said Yeah And then he's like And he gets He guessed the title Of the little mermaid As the little Fish

Basically And it blew My fucking mind Yeah, he said like there is It was such a like I say T ball moment I'm gonna put it the ball on the T ball And you just have to hit it and you won

And so it's like Ariel is a what And he said a fish That like that How could you how could your mind go Like not mermaid It's in the title it's in the fucking title And His mind went to fish instead of mermaid.

That is the first thing I would have said. That's the first thing. That is the number one thing I would have said it. I just, I just think it is so fucking funny. That was the funniest. I laughed so hard. The little fish. Anyway, fucking man.

What? Yeah. What were we talking about the wrestling names? Oh, yeah, wrestling names. Oh, sorry. So I, uh, my persona, um, it was kind of, I kind of stole it from a guy. There's a dude that was named the Velveteen Dreen, and he was kind of just an androgynous,

kind of a prince kind of character. So I came up with one called Ebony Lust. And I essentially, I actually, I literally have my tights in storage right now. It's like this galaxy universe shit. It's all, it's gay as fuck. But I essentially was just going to be an extremely, extremely gay character.

And in my universe, you know, I'm doing illegal shit that I shouldn't be doing. I'm basically, I'm the most stereotypical shit that, like, probably a conservative's nightmare of what he thinks gay people are doing all the time. That's what I was going to be doing. Right. I don't really remember my finishing move, though. It would just probably be like the, I don't know, the dick sucker. I don't know.

There you go. What you guys got? Yeah. Oh, he's got. He's doing the dick sucker. There he goes. Yeah. I think I would be the Hispanic attack.

And the idea is like a panic attack kind of. So I'd be really, really anxious. It would be like a thin, frail, really anxious Latino. And I would walk out there. So the problem is that sounds like a finishing move. That sounds like a finishing move, the panic attack or the his, like you, maybe you want to be like the Hispanic panic or the panic. Yeah, there you go. That's good.

Hispanicer. Sorry. I like, yeah, yeah, that's not bad. And then I would go in and I would. man what would I do I don't know enough about wrestling to really like play with this in the way that I wish I could but I would I'd probably pull out

cool name yeah I think honestly I think I might just pull out a gun I like that I think that might just shoot her and you panic shoot somebody you panic right oh it's the uh

oh no he's gonna do it he's gonna he's gonna do the Baldwin he's he got he got the ball and oh he shot him he fucking shot him on accident He shot up in the fuck His head blew up What the fuck kind of bullets He got in that gun

Holy shit Is that a 50 cow Is that a pistol With 50 cow bullets God damn He blew his head off So you're the You're the Hispanic panic

Hispanic panic And you panic And you panic And you're Yeah right Exactly Yeah The Baldwin

The baldwinian The baldwin The baldwin Yeah the bald This is called The Baldwin Yeah Yeah

because I'm Hispanic is, of course, the Dragon Ball Z theme. American? Mysteries are found made of a deep energy. Dragon, dragon. No, it's like, it's like dragon, dragon. What, the drag. Dragon, dragon, dog. Oh, Z.

I like the O.G. I like the idea of the new one to play because it sounds so silly. It does sound so, it sounds like dragon tales, basically. You give me love. That's how we live. is coming down a fucking thing shaking with panic just holding his head. Like me? You know what?

I like the idea of someone just coming down to just, like, just screams. Like, like, you know, like almost like a woman's getting tortured, like that type of scream. It's just echoing screams and you're just walking down. And you're just walking down. you're fucking gloating. Everybody's like, everybody's looking at that, you're like, as I'm screaming.

Someone's screaming, bloody murder. It's so piercing people. Like, what the fuck's happening? One little kid's eyes and ears are bleeding. I don't know. My next person, my rest of persona

would be a sludge. It would be sludge. And what happens, I'd enter, I'd enter the mat where, like, I would get summoned, right? Dude, like, sludge is a bitch, and he can't do anything. All of a sudden, a big, oily, slick was there forming in the middle of the ring. And it'd be like the fucking, it'd be like the sand theme starts playing, and then I'd crawl out of the ring. So are you just, are you just the sludge? I'm just a creature.

Did you play, should you play Street Fighter 5? Yeah. I'm pretty much in a collie. You're so stupid. I'm pretty much as a mud person. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.

Dumb. Duda. ADHD. ADHD deviant. ADHD, and he says, hello. He says a word here that I don't understand.

I can't even pronounce this. What would you do if you found your significant other poking holes in condoms? or otherwise tampering with birth control. Leave. What would you do? Oh, strike. Strike then leave. I would laugh.

I would laugh because my medication makes me impotent. So it's awesome. I don't know if that's the right word. I just like, I just, uh... I think it would mean stupid. I think it makes it infertile. Well, is that way?

I feel like it's used in that context before. Maybe I'm... Like, you're incompetent. What does that mean? Well, let me make sure. Impetent is, the implication of impotent is that you can't get hard is what it is, I think. Unable to take effective action. Okay, so you can use it in the context.

Okay. Right. So within the context, no, so that's not, I guess that's the wrong word to use. But since I'm on TRT, what it does is it, it, your body stops producing sperm. And so because since your body stops producing testosterone and then because, you know, you're getting from an outside source. And because of that, it also, so I shoot blanks and that's awesome. It's fucking awesome.

But then, you know, if I get off of it, then, you know, my system will start back up, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. But right now it's fucking cool. So I can just, I can just paint the walls and just she can poke as many. First of all, I don't even know what a condom is anymore, bro. It's fucking. I'm being honest me either, bro. Yeah, I don't even know what the, the fucking. I haven't used protection.

It's so long, bro. It's great. I can, dude, fucking would probably be, I don't even know if I could finish at this point because, if at a, because of like,

it's, it's just, it's so, you know what I'm saying? It's been a thing, not a thing for so long that. I wonder how, I want to test that shit out.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna see how it before with a condom, bro. I'm gonna see how it's. It's like going to work. It's like going to work. It takes something that you would do for free, and it turns it into a job.

Oh, it turns into a giant. It's just like... Okay. I got... I get nothing out of this except like the visual of it, really. You know? Like, it's just like... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the visual of fucking...

I feel like they're... Well, I think it's like... I think it's like not that bad if you've always used them. I imagine it's probably like, yeah, I'm cool with it. I would always take them off midway through and live still, but like they were... That is so insane. Bro, one time I swear to God. Shorts Gamer?

Yeah. So what? They already said yes. They already. Yeah, yeah. No, you're right. Yeah, you know. You're right.

Like you said, never admit to a sexual assault and, uh, and take your condom half way off. Never apologize. Oh, never apologize. Oh, never apologize. Oh, I like how he says that. Like it makes it better. Don't do it, but never apologize. Don't do it.

I don't do it. I always. Never apologize about it. But if you do, don't apologize, bro. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Only cowards apologize. Bro, I had a condom disappear literally one time.

Like, it literally was gone. Maybe. I don't know if it went in her fucking uterus, because it was gone. And I was like, where is it? You got digging there and get it. Bra. It was gone, and I was a little worried that I was getting taken for a ride. Like, oh, this chick's going to fucking try to Drake me.

She's going to fucking, she's going to, like, tie that shit up or whatever. And apparently you said that's what happened to Drake. he said that he got his I would have I would have had her put to sleep man I was all I gonna say I want to took the kid by what I had to put Drake don't you just have these people killed

like how do you not you can you can easily assassinate someone with Drake money I don't understand they're gonna know it's you though that's a thing they're gonna know it I don't think so they're gonna know it like 150 million you don't have to be anywhere near that happening it's just a freak accident she got into an accident Derek

that's not gonna be Derek Derek's baby moms went missing No, but they're missing before Well, I'm saying in the context of So when did Drake find out Did you find out after the kid was already grown Or when did you find out? No, it was out.

The kid was small, very small. So the kid was already born. Yeah. Well, see, all you got to do is pretend like that. Like, dude, coincidences do happen. They do. Like, everyone's going to know what's Drake, dude. They're not.

That would ruin his career. Don't know what's great. Even if the coincidence happened, it would ruin his career. It would ruin his career. I don't think so. Like Drake did it. Bro, if Kanye was not, if Kanye literally collabing with a fucking neo-Nazi head did not ruin his career, Drake assassinating his baby mom would do nothing.

It actually, I think all the, no, I think all the- Because Kanye's career has been based off of him constantly saying fucking insane shit. Only that's only recent. Drake's baby mom going missing after it's been revealed that she poked the whole of his condom would lead to some eyes being like, what? What, Trissy? Let's put it this way. Let's put it this way.

The fact that you think that would ruin his career is so assonite to me. When we have witnessed some, we just recently witnessed somebody get caught with beastiality and lolly porn on their hard drive and their fan base doesn't give a fuck. Like, let's be real about what you think these periscial people. It's not, he is not, look it, you can put, you can just say, I think he did it, but there is no. evidence. They wouldn't give a fuck about that. Now, if he actually showed up and was like, hey girl and shot her on the face and you saw CCTV, that's a different story. He shows him in his degrassy wheelchair. He runs over her. He's like doing like grinds.

He doesn't drive by. He does a drive by in his degrassy wheelchair. He like he wheels down the road in his wheelchair. And he's playing God's plan. He's playing God's plan because he's like, hey, man, I'm sorry. They said, do you love me? I told her, only partly. I only love I'm dead. I'm a fucking air drop. That would be crazy. That's like old school.

That's like old school, like wild west. Like, we're robbing this bank and it's me, Jimmy, who did it. Like, just take it. Right, right. Just take it credit. Even banning. Yeah. That is so crazy.

That is so insane. Are you Jimmy in the two tails? I gosh darn am. That was real is something that I don't think we think about often enough. Like there were career criminals whose job it was to be criminals that everybody just understood it. They would take credit for it. And they got mad pussy. I talked about this on the, on the, I talked about this on sacred symbols, I'm sure.

They got fear pussy. I talked about this on the sacred symbols or consolation or something. But like I'm pretty sure. Like I wouldn't be surprised if like, like, I thought of the idea of just like, Jack the Ripper. You know how, like, he killed a bunch of people and then he, he killed a bunch of women and then he stopped, right? He just kind of stopped one day.

I like the idea of, because he was an anonymous killer and nobody knew who he was, but they gave him a name. They were like, oh, it's Jack the Ripper. I like the idea of thinking that, like, his name was really Jack. And he saw, like, the report and was like, oh, shit, I should stop. Oh, shit.

That's like mega close. They were close. That's like, a mega coincidence. It says nuts. What if there was some cop that figured it out, but he's like, that's so much paperwork. I don't want to deal with all this. So he just said, he was like, he's the one that put it out. That was like Jack the Ripper, like kind of like, I know it's you, bitch.

Stop. I know it's you, Jackery. Jackery. His name's like Jack Rippling or something. Jack Ripplin? I did his name was Jackery Rippling. Yeah. All right.

Let's see. I feel like Jack Dipper honestly tried to murder one person. And they got him. Let's see one more. And they just got him. Okay. Do we get for one more guys? Yeah.

One more. One more. One more. Um, huh. Jizz the Reaper. What? I haven't there been games like it?

I think there's any of Jiz. Oh, paint it black. Paint it black tune. I see a man butt and I want to paint it white. Rodin. Says, hey fellas. Paint it white. I see a man bud and I want to paint it why

That's so stupid I might have to do that I might have to do that That's so dumb What was the other one in the last episode that we thought was pretty good No, we'll probably get to it We gotta do pants down I'll jack you off

I forgot how it goes I don't remember Oh yeah, trapped sir Trapped it was Yeah trapped That's right Okay so this guy writes in he says Hey, fellas, you get to fuck any of the street fighter girls, but the condition, but on the condition you come on one of your co-hosts while they're sleeping or unaware. If you want to fuck them again or a different girl, you got to come on a co-host again.

Look, honestly, I'm not doing it. I don't know. I'm not doing it. Well, I mean, I can lower that shit. I can lower that shit. So the thing is you're going to have your socks on. I'm going to come on your socks, all right? So that's just it.

It's not going to get on you. I'm going to get on your socks. I'm going to bang you right. the fucking. Damn. I'm trying to do y'all as solid. Can you imagine? Can you imagine waking up with someone else's

come on your socks? Can you really visual, really conceptualize that? Your socks are crusted over. Getting them off of you is dangerous. Nah, I'd be so upset. You got to go into the bathroom, turn on the fucking hot water.

Wait to the steam liquefies to come in the sock first. before you can take it off because they are jagged. Jagged. I'd be really upset, but yeah, you know, you gotta, man, I've really been digging that French bitch than from six, man.

Like, I just like, I love judo. I really like judo. So I'm just like, damn. You're talking about Manon? Yeah. I'm really digging Manon. I'm knocking that down, bro. I'm knocking that down, bro.

I just, like, you can't satisfy her, bro. I'm knocking that down, bro. You can't. You truly. feel like you can satisfy her. I'll figure it out. I'll put, I'll put every last ounce of me in it, bro. You have to die.

You literally have to die. Go and go in a go. I'm knocking it down, bro. I'm knocking her down first, and then it's Chun Lee. But that's my... Respect. You're not making a pastor. So you got to go Chun Lee,

then you got to go Marissa because you ain't getting past her. There's no way you're going to satisfy her. There's no way you can dedicate every fire. And then when I'm dead, he's going to carry my dead body out the bedroom and throw me in a dumpster. And I was going to die. She's going to do that with like, like, literally, like, just by, like, pinching, like, pinching your shirt. Like, she's just going to, like, throw you away like your, like, your lint. She's just going to fucking just toss you with the trash.

That shit is crazy to, like, there's no way. Like, because I would want to try to, but I know it is an impossible. It's an impossibility. There's no way. At least. You got to try, at least. At least Manon, I know I can just dress nice. And I have, and then I have a chance.

I have a chance at, like, because she seems. like a high class snob, right? But I think I got this. And I'd let her throw me around a little bit. She can throw me on. She can do the fuck out of me. That'd be pretty cool. I would do it.

I would do it for Cammy, I think. I would do it for the culture, bro. For the culture, you got to, you got to. I got to do some. Where are you coming, though? Yeah, you can't escape that. Might as well make it funny and come on someone's fucking forehead. That's funny.

Might as it makes it a laughable moment, you know? That's death, man. That's like, I don't think I'm seeing red at that point. I couldn't be friends with anybody. anyway. I couldn't be friends with somebody who just came on my forehead while I was sleeping. I'm getting mad thinking about there being calm on my face. I'm literally getting mad right now. That's really fucked up.

You would not laugh at all, cases. You would not laugh at all. I'm lying. I'm lying. I'm fucking lying. I would go berserk. Dude, you would, you would look like, you would, he would go blind like the berserker and just fucking. Oh!

Oh! Stop! Just a running through the walls on my fucking house, dude. You guys ever play fucking, what was it? What was it? You guys ever play Black Ops where you're just like, you're fucking like seeing red and just on a rampage? Everyone's shooting you and you're just still going and killing everyone. That's such a crazy mission, dude.

That's such a crazy fucking mission. It is fucking nuts. I feel someone coming on your forehead is so. I'm done, dude. I'm changed. I'm changed. If Cam, if Com touched Kingston's forehead, he would, roar. I'm sure of it. A mighty one too. I'd be mad if my own come touch my forehead. I can't even

imagine someone else's there. I know people that come in their own face and I'm like, what are you doing? I don't, I just don't. How deep in are you? How deep into the moment are you that you coming are you? I really got to know what. No, what is the trajectory? If you're, if you're sitting down in your chair, I think you did that on purpose. That's how I feel. I feel like if you're laying down, it's possible because I will say I, I, I once, I ricocheted my shoulder one time. And then it was like never again. Too close to the sun, bro. Too close to the start.

That's never happened to me. That's never happened to me. You've never even like, it hit the shoulder and I was like never again. I've never come. I know people that have come on their tummies. I don't even have to come on your stomach is a fucking bad feeling of that. See it coming on your tummy is funny as fuck.

That's a funny thing to say. He just feeling up your belly butt. You just filling up your belly button. If you have a, You just make it a whole This is a heinous conversation But I know if you would have come dead in their own fucking face And I'm like

How do you fuck have you done that? Sometimes it happens man Sometimes there's a lot of PSI Sometimes there's a lot of PSI And then you cake your face and come That doesn't happen to you? You don't cake Have you ever come in your own face?

I just know I just if you have It's so irresponsible I have had the Derek experience I have had the Derek experience Where it hits my shoulder I'm like, whoa. Yeah.

That was a, we got a, we got a, we got a, we got a, that was a never again moment. That was a never again for me. I was like, that too. Exactly that. You know how never again it was? I remember exactly where I was. I remember exactly. That's how never again it was for me.

That's your 9-11. I remember, never forgot. I didn't forget that I'm like, that was way too close. What if, what is? Let's get the fuck out of your, bro. Wait, what do you go? What do you got? Nothing.

It's just very stupid. Let's move on I was gonna say what if you ricocheted come What if you ricocheted come off your shoulders Out the window and into the Twin Towers And then that was what Let's move on I would be a little impressed

I'm not gonna lie I'd be a little pressed by If you took down the Twin Towers With a stray cum That's crazy You're coming that hard No you hit the plane And that's why it all happened

That's why it happened So you hit two planes That's even more impressive. Wouldn't it be wild? That was just you edging. You just edging caused that. What if 9-11 was just some kid with like, it was just some kid with like a laser pointer? And he goes like, ha, I got a laser pointer.

And he fucking points out of a plane and the plane spirals into the twin towers. And then he's like, oh, that can't be me, right? He's trying to convince himself that he didn't do it. he's like the laser can't do that to a plane that's silly like that must be on purpose so he does it again do another plane and then it does the same thing to the other talent and that is it again and it does it again and it goes to the pentagon too and he's like after the second time i would stop would you try again after the second time after the second i would definitely stop the second time i would definitely stop the second time i would throw that thing. Dude, after this,

I would, I would try the second time because I would be like, in my mind, I have to be like, I have to prove that that that's not why. I have to, I have to,

I have to get guilt off myself to know that like, this didn't do that. And then you do it again and then it's certainly your fault. And then you're like, this is over. I'm never touching a laser in my life.

I'm never playing a game with lasers. No halo, no nothing. I'm only playing chess from here on out. That's it. Anyway. And then George Bush,

knocks on your door, you know, you answer and he's like, six job, son, good job, son. You save me, you see me a lot of grief, boy. Thank you very much. It's crazy. We were going to do that anyway. It's back in this point. It's crazy.

You want to go golfing? It was going to be, it was going to be way, too. We were actually going to do that tomorrow, but I guess 9-11 does have a ring to it. They kind of does. Sounds way better than 9-12. Sounds way better than 9-12. I like 12 because it reminds me a Christmas with the elves in it. And we're really close to wintertime.

fucking cheesy get back in the fucking helicopter you frigger and then they go that was such a weird Christmas man remember that be such an odd Christmas yeah that was a rough one

it was like gosh darn it's a bad Christmas I was still mad about Yu-Gi-o and shit like that everybody was just like Sabby a lot of Americans and I'm like God fucking damn it bitch I don't know what the fuck happened and duelous kingdom still

still it's so stupid yeah I was gonna fuck out of here I gotta go I go pick up my oh yeah that's right my

my you know that one the one yeah yeah do we have time to read through the things or no

I really yeah yeah I think if we can get it done let's just start it then yeah yeah let's go let's go let's go all right

these are $25 and up patrons one the I'm sad it ended but I'm glad it happened, motherfucker is after I put them in a box down under.

David Radden, Mick Jackal, gay Norman Osborne, be like, I'm something of a Sadamist myself. That's pretty good. Amen.

That's not bad. Using Sween's curtains to wipe the sun come off him. It's good. Why do you make, why do you make the names, how do you make the names longer? It won't let me,

what are you doing? Why you, Derek, what are you fucking, biting at me. I'm trying to see if it picks up sound. Out of my peripheral, it's scary because it looks like you're like lunging at me. All right.

Jack the world's fastest mayori. It's the fastest, not the fattest, you clown. Gay Z'd be like, baby. Why don't you just fuck me in the asshole? I'm losing my mind with this hassle. Storm my castle. Mario comes on Gumbas with his new friend Fappy. So stupid.

Cool. Chris. Chris Ragon, more like Chris Gay Run, gay, fag, queer, homo, come gay, butt cheeks, gay, peepie, gufaggot. So that's that. That's, yeah, very, very mature. Big, meaty stinks. Andy, the man whose handies are S-tier and dandy. Come Bob's sperm pants. Let's go. Let's go. I am the ass gaper, and I ride and I ride. I ride. I ride the boys back, through my boys backside. I catch loads coming off this guy. Heath Smoker, selling the lifelong family dog for 450 keys on Team Fortress 2. Good night, girl. I won't see you tomorrow.

These shots hitting like Ashley Babbit. Digimon took Sweeney's libido. Homeless transfem who has a town inside her, licked her pussy in iambic pantameter. That's good That's nice Derek You shattered my Shakashuri

I don't know what that is I don't know what that is I'll look it up Yeah We smoke and Hussein bolt dick Toby Keith be like I ain't alive As I once was

Fuck it Carry on with the Britain slander It's shit sucks here Mr. Pants Sweene I would greatly enjoy it If I heard you got Tag teamed by Lily and Derek's wife

Well Some of us have really confusing proclivities, but God bless. What is wrong with you? These people, I don't know, man. These are, well, they're homeless. You know, they're not mentally great. They're probably really stressed out.

Baller of the First Sin, Spum befudders, umbrella, pineapple, trampoline, harmonica, tornado, bubble gum, lighthouse, radiator, windmill, crowbar, pajamas, zip line. Some, one of you guys in the audience just got activated to kill someone. I'm pretty sure. That feels like a code. Jolly old.

dip shit. I'm not straight. I have relationships with men and sex with women. I got news for you. I haven't thought about that in a while. Nice. It's nice to be reminded. It's been a while, yeah. I can feel the warm embrace of the void calling. Tofer laser pistol, cipher grab. Gay Peter Parker, be like, I'm going to put some dick in your mouth. Two mad, six under.

Why do you fill me up? Fill me up, butthole, come, Gabe, just dig me down, dick me down, jerk me off till I burst my balls. Hell that verse two, be like servers at capacity. Please try again later. Don't I know it. Oh. No need. for the fire truck, sir, I'll shit on it. What the fuck? Can you imagine calling a fire truck and then be like, don't call, don't like, listen,

the house is on fire, but don't let the fire truck get here because I will shit on it. Like I have a compulsion. I cannot not shit on the fire truck. I'm sorry. It's just how I was raised. The idea of somebody shitting on a fire is so much crazy than that, but you made that idea first. Yeah, I was like, wait a minute.

I was like, wait a minute, you went there. Because fire truck is one word. Pretty. Let's go. Keep going. I'm in the jizziness of jizzery. I'm giving this man top. He's got a penis like an hourglass.

It's thick and kind of long. I'm in the gizness of jizzery is fucking amazing. That is an amazing lyric. So props to you for that. The rest of it needs work, but the gizziness of jizzery is perfect. That's so good. Comes in Ivy, Sweeney's supervisor being confidently wronged. Back to Tank of Com, Caucasian Container the Crackerbell for gays, Donald Trump burping on Doms clit, clamping open your eyelids to come on their eyeballs.

We found love in a homo place. Rihanna, she pipkin on my pippa, possum can't smell, and Chris is kind of right. Fast car, but gay. You got a fat cock. I got a plan to bust in a queer. Been working at the penis store, managed spray a little bit. Wait, you got a fast cock. Yeah, yeah.

That's great. That's great. Stupid. average clip energy throwing frozen turkeys up the interstate to create half-life zombies just the hard ar, star coffee, hey kids, it's okay, that's the fifth time fast car has come up in the last two days, by the way. I don't know why that's happening. It's the Grammys.

That fucking fat redneck covered the song and then brought a Tracy on the stage because, you know, you know, it was the right thing to do. The guy who did the guy who did Richmond, Richman North of Richmond? No. Not that fucking peon face. I was like, I'm only human. I'm only horsey after all. I'm only horsey.

Don't put your... Yeah, let's do that one. Hey kids, it's okay to... Hey, kids, it's okay to shitwip acorns and cops. Sucked off to death by Mrs. Pac-Man. I stopped paying my rent so I could be a real fan, Transfam Gremlin, exposing people with life-thous intolerance to 90 million jobs, Rodgents of ionizing radiation.

Yush, not Vin-Penn, so take off your clothes, get on the floor. They won't leave you alone. Their elbow deep, Angelic DM. Craig, the Canadian, Richard Fisting, in the spare testicle, parentheses, where did it come from? It's your boy,

Shawnee D. Ben and Jerry's Funky Monkey. I live in Philly, and everything you guys said is true. Also, I just saw a horse running down I-95 all by itself. There are all, there are human anuses that theoretically...

That's fucking crazy. That's wild. There are human... I really can't conceptualize free horses. It doesn't make any sense to me. There are human anuses that theoretically can fit a toaster inside them. That's not conjecture.

That is just math. 3XO, inventing a new sect of Islam where you get 72 fan boys after blowing up the bathroom, Sarp and Stroke and smoke and Jokin. Amotikon's going like this. Drip M.H. Lord of Drip.

Joe Pesci, killing Batman by putting his balls in a vice. Obie won't you'll blow me, Norwegian game dev, now in a loving relationship. You should, YouTube's algorithm created a children's mix for me. And the first song was, you got a dick in me. Hemothy, that's wild if that's on kids YouTube. I'm going to steal your bones. They were made in a factory, a bomb factory. Clayton Carmine's knees getting don't on.

Heavy, eaten box or playing Halo. I'm hung over either way. Paint it Blacktoon. I see a man butt and I want to paint it white. Swage Slade 583. A sad guy from Michigan. Can I get a dick pick with your gray sweatpants on and one without them? Can I also get three picks of your dick in any position?

Also, the Papini Brothers Emporium, Black Gay Son, won't you come and thrust away the straight? Donk-Donkerson installing a faulty neural link in Chris's head that plays thunder on repeat. You got to pay the trolls' hold to get in the boys' hole. Gate 6. Shaggy voice, like Zoing Scoop. Those were unarmed civilians Rari Reggie Donating children

Subscribe Like subscribe to PewDiePie Donating children To underfrivolaged Human Traffickers Mission failed We'll get him next time Could you guys make guerrilla noises for me?

I need them for my D&D campaign I don't know Chris can I don't know how to make a gorilla noise Oh Oo ah ah Good Just defer to Joe Rogan. He's got a good one.

He's like, Oh, Joe. Oh. That's more accurate. That's way more accurate. That clip of Joe Rogan doing the, that's almost, that almost makes it okay that he's doing all the dumb shit. Like, that is one of the funniest clips I've ever seen still, like to this day. It almost makes it okay that he's killing a lot of people with misinformation.

It almost makes it okay. That clip of him interviewing Miley Cyrus where he's like, and it just cuts to him. I still don't know who made that Someone randomly sent that to me And I don't know who the fuck made it I want to know It's an iconic Like going around knowing that you made that

Must be such a fucking Good feeling Right Ah hell fuck An evil lesbian Home Alone 6 Enter the homoverse What the fuck

Oh home That's so stupid Chris is a secret piss drinker A shit's so nice I had it Twice. Oh, heinous. John Strickland, Uncle Ben's converted rice.

Merck's 1889, can't stop, won't stop, joke until my hips helmet pops. The first church of Keith David presents the piss drinkers versus the yahu's, the musical, the second church, Keith David, featuring being better than the first church, Keith David, pre-Raz, Blake 896. Logan Paul has won W.W.E. Champion 90 days defended it once. Everybody gay. Fuck your buddy gay.

Everybody. Fuck your buddy's ass. Fuck your man tonight. Booker T. he apologizing for calling Hulk Hogan the N-word years later only for him to reply that he's been he's used to hearing it. Little dishrag, lost my job at Coles because they call me playing with the mannequins' boobs. Alaskan oilfield trash. Texas Tate us out.

Cox ramming everything around me. Cream in that bussy. Come, come on your face. Come. Come in the face, y'all. Sue Hulk. Tick on my ass here. Nikki Ziggy, 24-year-old, come.

Wicked 909. Jackson DuPont, Badly Brank. The Vegan Necromancer. Branketka-Goncent. Atherian. Brogerian punter. Melfast won the angriest crowd and joined the view from the Dili Plaza on the sixth floor. And as always, rounding out our list, the king of haphazard, goodbye.

Woo! You got a fat cock, and I got sperm in my hands.