The Snark Tank - #227: Pop-Tart Movie

Episode Date: May 2, 2024

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Hey everybody. Because I suck his balls. His balls, balls, balls, balls. Ooh. That's such a good fucking song. I don't even like making a parody of it. That song goes fucking crazy. It's, uh, it's, I mean, everything he makes goes up.

But that song particularly goes hard as fuck. Goes crazy. The fucking one of the brass comes in, too. like, God damn. That's what I should do you think, do you think he's like actually a like a sorceress or something and he gave his eyesight to become like one of the best? Like objectively almost a perfect musician? Yeah.

I don't know. But like it doesn't have any bad songs. Even like young, young, young, young him. I think it tracks. I think. Hit after hit after hit after hit. We're talking about, um, um, um, We're talking about

Harry Styles The original John Cena, you can't see me I can't see you All right Well, welcome to Star Tank podcast See you, man Welcome to Star Tank podcast It is a special day

Sweeney is old now It is Sweeney's birthday At the time that we were recording this I'm pretty sure, right? It's today, today actually Yeah, I'm finally Thursday 69, I'm finally 32 years old Congrats, bro

You made it That's crazy he ate you imagine I'm just low-key been older than Derek the whole time. Yeah. Never said. I've been decades older than Derek for the whole time. By the way.

Yeah, I'm 70 years. Like, what the fuck are you're talking about? People are aging. I don't know for 70 year old. People are aging better. You know what's crazy? I saw this, um, I saw on my 4U page on Instagram because it's just a bunch of, it's just a lot of comedy now, which is nice before it was like really annoying.

But Jerry Seinfeld's going around on this like, press tour for that Pop-Tarts movie, which looks like, I don't want to, I don't really want to see that movie. Wait, what? I've never,

what, hold on, don't let's get past that. Don't even worry about it. Don't even worry. We'll get into it. No, no, no, more information. We'll get into it,

but let me finish the thought. He's 70 years old, and it's insane to me because he looks really fucking good for 70. And he was old, he was old to me when I was a kid. You know what I mean? Not like an elderly person,

but that was like an old guy. Like, as a seven-year-old, he's like like 30, like late, like 40, like mid, early 40s or whatever. And I'm like, oh, weird. And then you, and he had old people on his show. He had his, his parent, well, I might be wrong.

Like mid 30s, early 40s. But like, to me, I'm like, yo, that's fucking. Because he had people on his show who were like old. And they were like 70 or something like that. Or even probably younger, perhaps. And they looked so much worse. And we talk about this every now and again. And we talk about how, like,

generations will improve continuously, like about how they age. But, like, I thought that would maybe start with, like, us. I didn't think it would start with, like, him or, like, that generation. That doesn't make sense to me. But, I mean, I just think he's one of the, he's a diamond in the rough. When do you think he's also extremely rich?

That is true. Yeah, but there's also a lot of... He's also comedically rich. He's very rich, but then I think about, like, a lot of, there's a lot of actors when you look at them. They look great in in film and then outside of it you're like, oh, that's, oh, okay. Like, you're human and they just look like a bag of pus, dude. They look bad.

Like, you know the same for a long time? Uh, Nicole Kidman. She's been that way since I was like four. Did you were four? I was like, you look just exactly, or like exactly the same. She's been probably a little bit over 30 since I was four years old. And I'm like, all right, well, they're keeping you nipped and tucked clearly because Jesus Christ. You know who, the first time I recognize how fake movies were as far as people's appearance was looking at John Travolta.

I once saw John Travolta at an award show. I don't remember which one it was when I was young. This was probably like early 2000s where he did like swordfish or whatever he's doing. See, he's still doing stuff. Go. Face off or whatever early shit. You see, you're still active. And at the award show, he was melting.

Like, I was like, oh, he's an old man. Yeah, obviously, he was active in the fucking 70s. And I was like, what the fuck is this? Because he's still looked good in the movies. He looks so bad just in regular life. I was like, oh. Yeah. Oh, okay.

You know, people are, we're all, we're all getting old. Travolta's very old. Bro, I don't, people, I still. I went to 7-11. in the other day. Just the other fucking day. There's this black dude that works there.

Infinitely darker than you, Kingston. That's crazy. Big, nice little chin, like, strap beard thing. And he's cool. And we started talking about, like, I don't remember why, but the 2008 came up for whatever reason.

I don't know why, but he was like, that was a good year. I was like, yeah. And he was, I forget why. I wish I remember the content. Wasn't that like a famously terrible year

for like mostly everybody? So it was and it didn't make sense until he followed up with the year I graduated. And I'm like, okay, that's why he had good memories of 2008 because he graduated high school. And then I told him, I was like, and I was like, oh, I graduated 06. And he looked at me like I was insane because he's like, how are you older than me? Because this guy looks his age. He looks like he's like 34 or something. And I'm like, yeah.

Yeah, I know I look like a fucking infant. and then we started chatting about just, you know, the bar scene and all this shit were I couldn't get, it was hard to get women at a bar because I looked like I had no business being in there. Like, oh, this guy clearly snuck in. Yeah. He's over the gun. You got over the gun. Put a gun on the table. Be like, what's good?

That's exactly, exactly my experience where it was just like, I don't, I'm not even going to try. Because I look like I'm, I look like I'm skipping study hall to be here. I can't possibly approach somebody that I don't already know who knows how old I am. Like, it's the only chance that I've got. I could not imagine going to a bar picking up a girl even because I feel like bars suck. And I feel like picking up a girl out of bars is a fucking terrible situation.

They do. So, okay, I'll put it this way. The bar experience for me has been, it's been extremely hit or miss. And then also the problems that I've had with in bars when there would be women, that would be interested, there would be other freak guys that have like boners. You know, they look like my fucking mods in the games that I play because they're just so,

so they like, and they feel territorial and it gets like weird. And I've had- More dick than man, bro. I've had awkward situations like that where I'm not even trying to pull the girl, but she's interested in me. And I'm like, cool. And then somebody else that was like working on her all night, all of a sudden is like, fucking like,

you know, like, and I'm like, oh man, this is stupid. Like I, I, everything about the scene is just stupid.

Those are the days, man. More pipe than human. You're trying to fucking eat me. And I'm like, dude, chill, blood.

Chill. And he's just fucking infuriate. What do you? You nose is mine. You nose is here from this. And you're like, bro, I don't know who you are.

Do you remember fucking Bill Burr? I think I mentioned this to you. I can't remember. but Bill Burr was talking about a joke about guys at the bar. He was saying like all horny they are and there's like fucking like come like shooting out of their eyes or something. Like it just can't be contained where it's like just dripping out of their orifices. And like that is how it is. Like that's what it feels like.

That's so fucking crazy. That is so heinous. Actually, that was Louis CK. Excuse me. It was one of those fucking gingers. That is a real comery right there, bro. He's so horny. He's so backed up.

He's coming. yelling at you. Abject comery, without a shadow of a doubt. You know, like, blood, calm down. He's like, I can't. I keep coming. Yeah. So, listen, everybody listening to this, everybody listening to this, when you see this,

wish Kingston a happy birthday, even though it will be way too late. Yeah, definitely. Even though it'll be, like, completely out of date, just spam it to him. Because he's got a, he's got to feel easy. He's getting, yeah, well, don't do that. There's nothing happy about my birthday. No, no, definitely do that. birthday.

What do you get something happy about? How are you feeling? How are you feeling now that you're 30? Does it feel any? Like, what do you? Oh, nothing feels different. I mean, I've been,

yeah. It's the same. I've been kind of the same person I've been to as I was like, you know, like late 20s or mid-20s. So like. That's like three years ago. That's such a ridiculous thing to say. Just wait until late,

just wait till midday. Wait till midday. Death visits you and gives you a wink and then disappears. My dick doesn't get hard. no more and I'm like no wait I'm free bliss I'm free this I'm free I'm finally free let's see but that's when that's when uh lily leaves because you's you realize that she's there for your fucking you know your you're your you're your your your your your triumphant pipe and once I would be so sad if she's like I don't I never liked you you're a black man

you were a piece of dick that's all you ever were she walks out I'd be so hard broken. That would be insane. I'd be like, whoa, I didn't know. I didn't, I had no. Who would have thought that Lily was like that? She's like, fucking. I feel like no one could have guessed Lily's racist.

I feel like that's something that no one could guess. That'd be hilarious. I think, I think I would, I would guess just to, just to guess it. I think. Yeah. Just to be safe. Just to hedge my bets. I feel like you would just be a shot in a dark guess.

She'd like, oh, Lily's racist. It would be because it would be because everybody would be so adamantly opposed to it. That would be like, well, if I'm, I'm not going to go with the crowd here. I'm going to go with my own intuition here. I'm going to go against the grain. That way, that way, if I'm right, wow, is that a wild way to be right?

And if I'm wrong, it's like, oh, whatever. No one's going to really think about it. I'm going to go with the crowd here. You're just like, yeah, I think she's racist. I'm going to go to live there's for five, Bob. I appreciate it. Hey, so I don't know. Hey.

Oh, hey. What? Hey. Tell us about that Pop-Tart movie, man. Oh, right, yeah. I'm sorry. You're really, you're queued in on it. You waited patiently, dude.

Because I can't believe, like that. You said that. It sounds fake. It's real. I know, I understand. But, like, so, for whatever reason, I don't know why. Jerry Seinfeld, well, I know why. It's just a comedy bit.

But Jerry Seinfeld has a bit in one of his comedy routines that's about the Pop-Tard and how, like, revolutionary that wasn't, like, the 60s or whatever. and it's like a whole bit. It's like a thing that's been kind of like, I don't know if it's been like a staple in his act for a long time, but it's definitely been there for a while. And some person, I guess in Hollywood was like, hey, we want to make a movie off of that bit.

And he was like, what? Why? Why would you want to do that? And he was like, just trust me, we'll do it. Like, why not? And so Seinfeld obviously having so much money and being able to just do whatever the fuck he wants. He's like, okay, whatever, fine.

And so he directed this movie. movie with like just it's just a bunch of comedians. I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at with this, to be honest with you. It just looks like a very strange. Is it like a sketch? TGI. Is it, is it live action? What is it?

It's live action. It's like, what is it going to be like an anime? I thought it was going to be like like a alien. Like I thought it was going to be like like B movie, but like Pop-Tart movie. No, no, no, no, no. No, it's, okay. So I'm, I maybe explained to this a little hasty. it is a movie about the invention of the pop-tart

but it like from like the board people and like the and the race from other companies to get that onto the store shelves and stuff like that it's not literally like the movie but with pop tarts that was my first thought because of like Jerry Seifil pop tarts it's gonna be that and I was like oh we got the next meme for him he finally can he's finally gonna come back because the be movie settled down It looks Honestly

It looks kind of like As I'm like Like I saw the trailer for it and it looks like If if the hypothetical bits that we came up with on this show Weren't so depraved And so clearly not family friendly It seems like an entire movie based on that Like it's like some guy dies and he gets like the full like

There's like a scene where like he gets like a full serial honors burial and he's buried in a coffin but they dump milk and chiroos in it and like some some ladies like weeping cutting bananas over it it looks so stupid that is so obscene that's great that that is literally like me and my friends have you know requests similar to that but you know more vulgar but right it's it's it's very true if you took if you took cereal and milk and bananas and replace it with shit cum and like anything else it would just be a bit that we would do on the show. So it looks like a G-rated version

of just a bunch of dumb serial-oriented bits that they just kind of came up with to shoot. I don't know. It looks whatever. It looks like a dumb movie. That would be so funny

if he gets buried and like, yo, before you bury me, everybody has to come on my casket. Everybody's got to shoot one load on the casket. And it looks like a bunch of birds

shot on it, but it's a bunch of splatter marks all over the casket. That is crazy. That's a hard task. That's all our task to beat off to completion in front of everyone. Yeah. That would take me easily like, that would take me easily four minutes.

Yeah. That would take me. That would take me. I'd be a really scared three tugs, but I would do it. Yeah, maybe I would get into it. First I'd be like, oh, dude, this is weird. But then I'm like, you know what? I realize that I like an audience and get into it.

And then you start getting like the challenge. You can beat me. See, you can beat me? You can't fucking beat me. I'm fucking, I'm a quick. that's a permanent shift in your in your brain chemistry though like that's that's you're a different person after that I think because that surely affects how that that that's something that would affect how you treat people I think like even just outside of just that that avenue outside of sex

I think probably be like oh I need an audience for everything now like I need people to be here whenever I do anything it's like I need people in the room when I'm shitting yeah I'm a glass I want to have a glass room for my fucking for my bathroom I just want to I would just want to have all glass doors, have people. It's connected to, you know, the side of my house to make sure people walking by my house can see me shitting. Like people to see me shit. Yeah, that'd be really good. I want people to know I'm sitting.

I want people to fucking know I'm sitting. You stare them deep in the eyes while you're shitting. I want a wooden house. I want a wooden house and a glass bathroom is what I want. That is. I want the most private room in the house to have no privacy at all. Hell yeah, dude. I like that.

I like that a lot. I respect that. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion,

our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APU. APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered.

It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.

That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show.

Thanks for having me. Visit for thepeople.com for an office near you. I have this conversation, right? We literally just walks under me in the bathroom now. That's, yeah, I can't. I don't know, man. And like, I hate it so much. I feel like genuinely the bathroom is the last place of privacy.

That's the last bastion. It's sanctuary. It literally is the final. That is sanctuary even when you're living by yourself, quite frankly. Like, because every other room has all these, like, connotations to us. Oh, this is my office. I got to get work done.

Oh, this is my best. Oh, man, all sorts of horrible memories here. Oh, the living room. I got to clean. I got a clean. And the bathroom is like, oh, peace. Like, I'm, I can take a, I'm associated. Like, I'm relaxing.

I'm in the bath. I don't have to think about anything else. So I would not fucking allow that. I lock my door here. When there's nobody here. It's a, it is a. She doesn't get it. She's a fucking tune.

But like, first of all. She's a fucking tune for his character. First of all, like, like, Like, Lily has siblings, right? One sibling, and they're weird. But, well, hmm, that's, I don't, that's weird. Because I'll say, when you live with siblings, it's ingrained and you lock the door or you knock. Yeah.

Like, that's just you, when you live with people, that's how you operate. You can't just walk in on shit. I think she's, she doesn't do it in our house. She's like, I get, we're like a couple. We get to do something with that. I'm like, Lillian. So she's consciously doing it and not just like, oh, I'm not thinking about this.

Like she's consciously like... She's trying to break me. She's literally trying to break me on purpose. And I'm like, girl, stop. That is, I can't even tell you how much of a... That is not happening to me. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's happened to me zero times in a, in relationship.

What is Lily doing right now? What is she doing? She's in the living room. Get her in here. I want her to explain herself. All right. I want, I want her to explain yourself. This is insane to me.

That is insane. of all, I don't know why he's not locking the door. She might not be here, actually. She's the sleepbook. She might not be here. Is there no lock on your bathroom door? Oh, there is. But I don't lock because I feel like I don't have to. I've never had to lock myself in a bathroom. You're going to both that fault. I'm be honest.

Yeah, yeah. I'm going to vote because I'm not, I'm not hiding away. It's not about hiding away. Well, the lock is there for a reason. The lock is there for a reason. Yes, it is there for a reason for it because somebody, somebody may do exactly. what Lily's doing while you're fucking pants are down her ankles. You know what I'm saying? Like it's it's it's a, you're

at a very vulnerable position and you would like to just have the door close because sometimes you'll be deep in thought. Sometimes it'll be whatever. If some motherfucker came and just open the door, everything has been derailed. Everything. Because if you ask a lot of the artists, big artists in the world, they write like

half of their music in the shitter. That's just what you do. It's just, it's just a place where you think. It's a place where you now of a sudden, now some motherfucker I should beat her right. Yeah. Should beat her. Yeah.

No, absolutely. Not even as a bit. That's not even as a bit. It's not exactly what we're saying. Well, I am. You should, you should, you should, I mean, you should go hard in the paint, teach her a lesson. Like, Lily, you touch this door now one more time while I'm in it. And you're, I'm going to make you fit in this toilet.

I'm going to make sure you get flushed. And it's the implications is you're fucking like accordion in her. You know, you were smashing her and make sure she can fit down the fucking toilet. God. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, that's probably my fucking God. Can you imagine that to be human? You stuff with it.

That's, first of all, that's just, that reminds me. Why is that tickling? That's tickling something in my brain. Wait, Kinks, do you remember when we, do you remember when we lived together? We created that, that crinkle-clause character, that, like, Santa Claus that comes into your house and crinkles you a little bit? Crumple people and put them in a fucking drain. I don't know what the first.

you and then he leaves or what? He just, he, he, he breaks into your house on Christmas Eve, and he just kind of crinkles you a little bit. He like, he like,

he just, he just kind of slightly malforms you, increases your skin and then he leaves. Or he, or he, like, really gets, or he gets really, really out of pocket with that. He, like,

kind of stuffs you down a garbage disposal. But that's if you piss him off. If you don't let, if you don't let him crinkle you, he'll, it'll be, it'll be a sight to be. If there's resistance.

If this is of any kind If you let yourself get crinkled That's so stupid I don't know I don't know I'd be like just It's the tradition Like nobody tries to fight back

Or kill him or anything No one tries to fight them You're just You have to spend this next several months Like slightly crinkled a little bit And that's it That's just how it goes That's a crazy way to live

So stupid There must have been something in the water In that apartment I think Must have been that place is fucking man let's never go back there ever

to never go back I actually did go back there I actually went back there a couple I actually went back there a couple you know what I because I used it to film an exterior shot for a video actually the alien video

the video that we shot where the Area 51 video this is after we moved away from it but I was like I need an exterior shot for me walking up to our apartment building but I don't want to show our real apartment building for obvious reasons so I was just like oh wait

I know our old one I'll just use that I'll just use that one So I did go back there And I forgot how bleak it was I forgot how like Derey and set that That house

Do you remember how small that lobby was too? It was like a fucking hall Like a hallway you had to like There was a lobby? Exactly It was a lobby It was a lobby? It was funny being back there too

Because I had these like memories of like Oh yeah I remember like Idub saying named Jeff to some old lady in this lobby when he came to help something. She just ran frightened. Because this is back when Ian had like really, really short. This is back when Ian had a really, really short hair

so he looked like somebody who could potentially hurt you. If you, like, upset him. So, yeah, that was a moment. She was like, don't do it again. Don't do it again, Ethan, stop. Or Ian, whatever. A lot of people, a lot of people came to that apartment. I know John Tron was in that apartment.

Ian was in that apartment. Obviously, a lot of our old friends back in the day. No, Zach, I met way later, like her. The next apartment. While we were, while we were moving. But the apartment afterwards, I remember Keystarr showed up. The apartment we lived in afterwards. That was fucking ridiculous.

Were you there for me? You were there right after that, Derek. We were there right after that, weren't you? I definitely was not there, but I do remember seeing a photo of, uh, I've ever seen I think it was a photo of Bunting and Kempstard It was Bunting and Kempstart

eyeing each other With their beards and hats In my living room And it's just like What the fuck is going on? Why is this happening? That is a How did Kempstar end up

In your apartment? Like that is actually very odd Okay Okay so apparently So I don't know if I'm remembering this correctly It would actually be good to have Bunting on the show

actually at some point Because like he would have memories Yeah I was talking to him I don't really fully Yeah, yeah But I think Like Bonte Messaged me

He was like Hey, is it okay If I bring some people And I was like Okay, sure I guess it's a party You know, whatever Like it's an E3 party

Like I don't know It was like one of the first big parties That I threw at our apartment And then I was like never again Am I doing this? I'm never doing this again Because people just show up I am not in the type of industry

Where I can just throw a party And say yeah Bring whoever Because then it's going to be like you know, sky does Minecraft shows up, you know, and that's its own problem. This is the big thing, right?

We're content creators, right? You can't just tell you content creator friends bring anybody. I know, I didn't think about it at the time. I didn't think about it at the time because it was very new to me. The idea of that even being like a problem, it's like, oh, that someone would show up

that would be like a kind of a problem for other people there was very, very new. So, yeah, he was there. Because you're used to our friends That's why Lewis Spears Lewis Spears was there

Yeah Lucy K Lucy K was beating off in the corner When I moved away Mind if I come in your face Why come in your face? Yeah I I might

Hmm I would say wing my You can wing my shoulders It's fine You can't tell him my face though I would like to have that's wild I would like to have that story No one coming anywhere near me

I'm sorry I'm that much of a bus kill No one coming anywhere near me Yeah I mean Now we know what to do case and exception. Now we know what to do. Well, Kixen, you're in a bad spot for somebody who doesn't want to get come down because you fall asleep all the time and way too easily. There's going to be a point where you're going to fall asleep and everyone's just going to joke. If someone comes to me, I'd be so upset. I'd be so upset. I'd be so upset. I'd be so much in that frat culture that like sexual assault like that is just jokes. You can just bust us all. You fell asleep, bro. That's what you get. Dude, there's a video

You wake up with cock in your mouth And you're like There's a video There's a video of Kingston So we went to a Renaissance fair Kind of recently with a bunch of friends of ours And we went to see this It was like some show

To be honest I was watching the show I had no idea what the fuck was going on It was just some guy making weird noises And like gargling balls I don't know what the fuck is going on To the show But we were watching it And it was loud

And it's a Renaissance fair It's like the sun is beaming on you. And our friend Danny took this video of Kingston, like falling asleep. And you know what? I'm going to, I'm going to send this to you, Derek, because it's good. It's a funny, it is funny video. It is a really good video of him.

I almost passed out. He falls backwards and almost like crushes a small child behind him. No, it's first of all, there was no child behind me. That's it. There was a child behind you. What I did, what I did was falling asleep. Right. And I leaned back and I caught myself leaning back. And I was like, holy shit, I got to wake up.

Yeah. And then you stared directly at the camera. You stared directly at the camera too. Like right when you woke up, it was like, it's like those videos of Toby McGuire spotting the, the paparazzi at the airport where he just like, like, we like, soon. But there was, there was a seven-year-old little girl behind you. There was no, there was no, there was no top by me. There was a woman.

She was a lollipop, eating a lollipop with pigtails. She was like, Mommy, I can't see anything. and this lumbering feller falls backwards. And I watched her age. Success starts with your drive. An American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward.

Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APU. APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said

$20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually Actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.

That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, and thanks for coming by the show.

Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. Eight years in the eyes. Like I watched her eyes get crusted and like scared for the future. But luckily you caught yourself and you saved that. She eldered. She eldered, yeah. Kingston, no.

It was a wild thing to say. No, Kingston. No. It's so funny. I would love to get thrown really hard, like it's really hard and fast and then hit a bunch of people. And they get up as long as I'm completely fine. A bunch of just getting struck by me. And I'm like, I didn't do this.

I didn't do this, anybody. I was just getting thrown, dude. Should we talk about the fact that we saw Spider-Man 2 in theaters? I know that was like a big thing. It was very, man, what a fun. That movie is so fun, man. It's so goofy in like all of the perfect ways. Like James Franco is such a goof in that movie.

And it is such a goof. every time he was on screen, because it is just so funny. Because he also can't believe him. I don't believe him. Yeah, he's very difficult to believe, yeah. I think, I was like, you go it. He's probably the worst actor in that, in that crap.

Like, watching it in the theater again made me, like, really similar. Because, like, a lot of people criticize those movies for having, like, or specifically Toby McGuery and Kirsten Dunst for having, like, subdued acting. And then you're like, no, this actually, like, works for what this is. But, like, James Franco specifically has this, like, like, he, he, Like he's trying, almost like he's trying way too hard and not really nailing it at any, at any real given point. Yeah. Strange.

It's a strange, strange experience. He just doesn't, he just doesn't strike me as someone who's like, he's Jaduitly upset. Like, yeah, like I said, like he's fake upset. He's fake mad. I really, I feel his, I feel like I'm like, you don't seem like somebody who, who thinks Spider-Man actually killed his dad. Killed your dad. Yeah. He doesn't seem like that at all.

He's just like he seems like he's just annoyed. Like he seems annoyed to me. It's kind of like weird. He's like, yeah, he looks out of place all the time. He's dispected me by touching me. That is a great moment though. Like it's like,

he disrespected me by touching me. And then he puts on his like obviously 2000 shades. It's so funny. It is so damn funny. But it's so good, man. That movie is like, that movie like strikes me. That movie really strikes me as,

like a watching it in theaters especially was a strange feeling because I was like it almost felt like watching like um like something like Edward Cisorhands where it was just like I think with like the Danny Elfman music too just kind of a company it's like this feels like like a classic in a way that it didn't feel like for a while um and being in a theater full of people that really liked it was really cool um but yeah it was super fun seeing it I don't remember seeing I remember seeing I remember seeing one and three. I have no memory of seeing two in the theater for some reason. I remember,

I remember seeing all of them and I very vividly remember seeing three. I think I've told the story of the podcast. Walking out of the theater for Spider-Man 3 in the Fish Kill, in the Fish Kill Regal, like not even like the one in the mall, like the one in like that weird offshoot mall where the one, yeah, the one with the Boston market in it. And like I remember watching,

I remember watching it. I had my Spider-Man 3 shirt. I had like the spider symbol when it was like half white and half like symbiote black and I was like I was so excited. And I walked out of that movie for the first time in my life

disappointed by something that I was looking forward to seeing. Like for the first time ever. He's totally got you. I really like three. I thought especially when I was younger. I really like three more. I got older.

I can tell it wasn't a great film. I like all of those movies more and more every time I see them. But like at the time, like no doubt like when I first saw Spider-Man 3 as a child looking for like a really exciting final chapter to a Spider-Man story I was so deeply disappointed because it's not good it's not a it's not a good Spider-Man movie even slightly but like yeah as like if you watch I swear to God like if you get a little bit high and watch that movie as like a soap opera

you are fucking transfixed on that movie it is a perfect fucking soap opera to the point where it's like why didn't this what it but it's strange that it's a good soap opera but a bad spider-man movie it's so weird and obviously it's because of venom and like how shoehorned he is and you know it just doesn't work i mean if you were if you were a like a kid and i feel like most spider-man fans well aware of venom they really liked venom and right just what they did with like just as just that alone was just kind of heartbreaking i love it now i i love that Eric Foreman of that 70s show is venom.

Like, I love that now. Like, but yeah. I controversially, I, I controversially think he's like a decent Eddie Brock for that Peter Parker, but his venom sucks. Like, his venom is terrible. Like, I don't know why they don't, they didn't just do big venom and he's like, you know, why not? Like, it's so weird. He could have turned into a big venom.

He definitely could have. I also just don't, I'm sorry, I look at, I'm sorry, I look at fucking Tofer Grace. and he just doesn't seem like a jerk to me. Like that's not a... He is being a little fucking weasel, which is fine. Yeah, but I'm like, he just seems like a guy you're like, hey, man, you're, you know, like, you would ask him for the time.

You're like, hey, man, what time is it? Like, you might give me the time. I think, I think I like that about it, though. Yeah? I think I like that, like, because he seems like... I really, I really hate it. I think it makes him a little bit more sympathetic while also still allowing him to be a weasel

because he can't be like, he can't be like a full-on brawny. like asshole, but he can be like a sniveling weasel, which he absolutely is in that fucking movie. He goes to church and asks Jesus to kill Peter Farger. It's so great. Dude, that is so out of pocket. That is so out of pocket.

I was like, you actually ask him to get murdered? It is out of pocket. But at the same time, like, it is it is the most, it is the most relatable part of that movie because I think who among us haven't, like who among us have not, like we've all gone to church at like 12 in the morning and ask Jesus to kill somebody that we don't like. Like, we've all done that. Everybody's experiences. It's, it's as ubiquitous as brushing your teeth in the morning or or coming in

your fridge to make sure the smell stays. Like, there's all sorts of things that we do on a daily basis that, like, I just think that really touched on a really strong hint of relatability. Big facts. But I, God, big facts. The idea of somebody going to church and asking. God to murder someone else is a wild experience. It's needed. It's like a seven-year-old's understanding of how praying works. Hey, God, kill my mom. She didn't let me have ice cream last night.

It's like, huh? Yeah, and your mom gets a fucking car accident and you think, who aren't in health. You think God actually did it. Yeah, like, I love God. He listens. Dear father, who art in heaven, can you kill my mommy? She won't let me have Budakai too for the PSC.

to kill my mom. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop.

You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.apus.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.

And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open.

Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you.

Thank you. Now. Your wish is granted, nigga. And then fucking like your mom just explodes. Like she just fucking explodes and there are meats everywhere. You're like, oh, those are brimstone. In a flash of brimstone, she pops.

You're like, yay. Your dad is traumatized. And the worst thing is it doesn't get you any closer to getting Budakai because you got to deal with all this shit now. Now we got to bury her. Kill my dad next. My dad will get me Boudicay 2 either. What the fuck, Dad?

Send me to an orphanage that has... Dear God, put me in an orphanage that has Boudickeye 2. Oh, my God. And then you get it. You're in the orphanage with Boudickeye 2, but all of the people that run it are fucking child molesters. So you're getting molested daily, but at least you get to play Budakai too

And they're really good at Budakai too Tragically enough So you can't even You can't even So he He pops you off his lap after he's done with you And then you play with Budakai And he whoops your ass

You beat the fuck out of you You can't even get a shred of A lose it every way I'm losing it out Not a shred of a victory to be had In that orphanage man Like man holy shit Not one little

It's rough God's like a lot of It sounds like members. He's like those monkey paws. The wish, the wish. Exactly. Those bucket paws. The monkey.

I wish for world peace and then it's, aliens come and destroy the world so now it's nice and peaceful because there's no, there's no more conflict. You're like, oh, great. Yeah. Anyway. Great. You're a fucking asshole.

Clearly, dumbass genie. Oh. So clearly you're a fucking dickhead. That's what Aladdin should have been. All right. I wish my cock was big and there was no turn back and I can fuck you till you die Jeannie and the genie's like

Yeah you want to be an ass I can be an asshole too Yeah Yeah open up You ask for a really You guys your genius It's like Jeannie I wish for a really big cock But it's just really short

And it's so wide that it wraps around the sides of your hips And that's your It looks like a stingray Your dick is like a fat stingray I remember seeing a comic look like that when I was a kid where there was like a pixie or something. This guy catches this pixie. He's like, I caught you. You have to grant me my one wish.

And it was like some like adult strip comic thing. And so he was like, I wish my dick could touch the floor. You know, just the implication is that it's big enough to where it's touching the floor. That's so fucking disgusting. And then so she grants it and he wakes up in the morning. and his legs are so short His dick is on the ground I was like that's fucking fantastic

He's like I love this He's got like E.T legs He's got E.T legs, yeah I was like I would just eat the fairy Like if I capture a fairy It's like I give any wish I'll just eat it Yeah that's how you do that That's for sure

And while it screams It screams and I bite its head off I just bite its fucking head off Spit it out Oh damn Wait hold on I think I might be getting my package right now I might So I'm going to

So but before Okay so a lot is happening right now I want to I want to make something very clear All right If you come on over to Patreon.com slash the snark tank Which you absolutely should do You have you have a There's a big question thread

That gives you a chance to get your question read on the show The promise is that if your question is good We will read it There's a lot And you know I have to curate the list To make sure that we're getting some interesting questions Some good ones because some of them are a little throwaway.

Some of you pay money to waste your chance. But Derek insisted that, you know, well, listen, they're paying money. So let's honor, let's honor this, this payment. So we're going to go into the first question. I subscribed, just get Chris to do blackface. And he writes, Ah! So is the Kinnacle Mark thing.

Ah! No, it's just script. I'm sick you're tired of being attached. that's that's yeah see see i i'm of a different mind chris i actually rather enjoyed that i actually that was dumb as fuck and one thing that i one thing i also i i i i relish is is is making fun of these people and and putting them in their place for being like you're a stupid bitch thank you for your money you stupid pussy and then and then like they it'll it'll it'll encourage more stupid to give us more money

because they're going to be like, I can... Look, man, I understand what Chris is doing. I get it. I get it. It's like, oh, let's filter out the bullshit, but but bullshit is what drives this show.

We got to be real about this. Bullshit drives the show. If you remember every animated clip that's been done, it's So it's not some casual conversation. It's not let's casually talk about some stupid bullshit.

Let's casually talk about Spider-Man. It's something that's completely out of pocket. And so... Look, man. Yeah. If you don't give me your money for me to say eight three times, man. You know what? Thanks.

I appreciate it. You know, I could use it. That's great. If not, then, you know, suck most of my dick. Whatever, man. Go fucking... Look, I just want... Success starts with your drive.

An American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.apus.edu.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan.

I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.

And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open.

Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you.

I want, look, I just, I realize that we have over a thousand people in the $5 tier. And I want that to triple quadruple. And that's going to mean a lot of shit questions. A lot of shit questions.

And I'm like, you know what? I want those stupid dummies to stick around. I want those stupid dummies. Yeah. I want them to stick around because I love them. And what the hell did you, what did you get something cool? Hold on. All right.

No, okay, so I wanted to show this on the show. So give me one second. I have to get changed. So I'm going to give you guys the next. I'm going to give you guys the next question. What is it? What is it? Would read names for you for free, Rodin?

He says, probably very, probably a very common question. But have you ever done ad reads for products you don't like? I'll answer when I get back. never on this podcast no yeah don't like um no I have turned down a lot of um sponsors because I know that I like I've had

I've had to tell the people that I was working with that I can't because this is trash or like say for example I remember there was this app it was called coin something it was a it was a it was a game and I can't remember what it was called but it had the word coin in it and I checked it out and I was like,

this is the stupidest fucking game I've ever seen. And I was like, I'm sorry, I can't fucking do this. And I'm a lot of channels I watch like these wrestling channels. They all,

this is bought to you by this stupid app. And I look at all these fucking assholes taking this sponsor. He'll give a fuck about this at all. Dude, get your bag, man. That's how most people are,

though. This is the way that you kind of have to think of it in the way. If you don't think it's dog shit, that's different. But if you think, if it's one of those things where it's like, I don't like this, but other people might. I don't mind people promoting stuff like that if they're like, I may not like this, but I can see other people getting value out of this. So I don't see any problem with that. But if you think this is actually objectively trashed, then I would say that's problematic.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I've ever done. I think maybe I did one ad read for a mobile game that I didn't really play. but I didn't think it was like

I talked to some people who did play it who were like no that's a good game you know what I mean like and they actually like Jen they had no reason to lie to me about it so I was like all right yeah that's that's fine I guess it was a fun spot to do too because like they let me do like they let me do literally whatever which was like the more appealing thing about it

it was like oh yeah I'll I have no problem like making a commercial for something that I don't like necessarily know that much about because part of the fun of making I don't know I just like making stuff but yeah that was that was the only thing I think everything else that I've ever done an ad read for, I think I genuinely actually do. I think I know what you're talking about.

I do. I think I know what you're talking about which one you're even referring to. Viking, Viking War of Clans was the one that I did. That actually falls under the same umbrella. The company's called Plarium. And that's who started fucking Ray Shadow Legends. Like there's the same fucking people. That's essentially a lot of people.

I would say 99% of people that did an ad for them. You know, they didn't, they, they don't play mobile games at all. And so I was one of the very few that continue to play and then just kind of actually discovered that whole world, that whole fucking world. Yeah. It was, uh, it was really interesting. But what do you got? What do you got, man?

Like, what the hell is? So, so, so I just got in a, so I just got in a test print. I just got in a test print of our merch. This is not, this specific thing may or may not be available. I just wanted to get a feel for like how the printing would feel and how the fabric feels and how the fitting feels. But so this is this is the verge I have. This is Brile. He's officially, he's officially, he's officially, he's on a shirt.

It feels kind of good. I don't know. All right. The fit is pretty good. The fit's pretty good. You will not be able to buy this unless, unless you want, like, we'll leave it up available for like early patrons if you really, like, the, this. The store is going to go up. There's going to be a password to be able to get in.

And we'll unveil the password on Patreon when all the prices are finalized and all that stuff. So you'll be able to get this if you want. But once the store goes live for everybody, this is going to be gone. Because this is just such an inside baseball. This is such an stupid inside joke. And I thought this would be like a perfect way to test the material and get him immortalized in some way. I feel like you could you could just slap a little tank symbol in the corner and then re-relead. I'm so upset that I'm seeing Brock.

Browell just bothers me, dude. This character is such a... He just irks me. He's so irksome. He is an irksome fellow, but it's not his fault. He's a good dude. He's just difficult to get a hold of. He's got his phone on airplane mode,

and he doesn't really know how to shut it off. So he's always looking for signal. You know, he's a good guy. There's not a bad bone in Brile's body, really. So I take on bridge with how you're talking about him because he's a good dude. but I understand what you're saying I still gotta get that

gotta get that scumbag Kingston shirt I need that I don't like that Oh yeah what was wait what was the oh with it with the Supreme I yeah the Supreme Yeah supreme Yeah the Supreme font It's a scumbag

That's good There's a picture I have the part picture for that too Well Well we We yeah we it's already Chris showed it What was the picture that we

What was it? What was it? What was it? Was it the picture that we agreed on? It was that you had, you had that drawing of it. You had that sketch of it or whatever. Oh, yeah. That one's a good one.

I have another image that's close to that. Yeah. Close to that one. It's another image that like I just fucking, I don't know. Who took that picture? Was that really that took that picture? I think it was. Yeah, probably.

Yeah, that's good. Like, I definitely, I know it would get a lot of looks and a lot of, a lot of people would be inquisitive if you were wearing that out in the streets. Like, well. Yeah, that's pretty hot, too. That's pretty hot. We might have to do a Mount Rushmore of your faces. That would be so disgusting. We could, so we could do.

I look like, I don't, I look like another brace. What we should do, what we should do, really for, for maybe a future merch launch is like, because there's one, there's a really horrible photo of me and Kingston, both of us separately. but like I don't know if we have one for you it would be cool if we could have like a like a trifecto

where it's where it's scumb bags where it's like all three of our disgusting faces. Maybe the one of you in your what's that video where like you caked yourself in ointment or whatever? Oh my God. What was it?

Oh yeah. When Joker came out. Yeah, I made a joke I did a Joker review and I put on God, what was it? Loci and don't do this guys. I put spray paint on my skin because I didn't have anything. It was a, yeah, yeah, yeah,

then I put some gym shorts on my green gym shorts were my joker hair. I feel like I did something similar to that where when I did a, because I did a Joe Biden video because he had this thing like I think I had like a viral tweet or something

that was like if you just let auto correct finish finish a sentence then it just sounds like a real Joe Biden quote and I just did a video where I read all of them and I spray painted, I'm pretty sure I spray painted my hair. I think I had actual dye.

I'm not super sure. I'm pretty sure I had like real hair die. I didn't, I don't think I was stupid enough to spray paint my hair though. You did do that. Yeah, but it was like hair. It wasn't like with like acrylic. You know,

like it was for hair. But like it was like Halloween for hair. And I did it to white in my hair. Barely shows up in the video. It just looks like I have dull hair. It doesn't even doesn't look white at all. But those are fun times. I miss.

I miss Biden Rans, bro. Yeah. I was like he's just... Joe Joe, I miss Biden Ransson. And Jojo was telling me, I don't remember the other day about like, damn, you know, your sketches. Like, like, the stuff like that. Like, that's... I could tell, like, obviously, it used to be fun.

You know, you could tell, like, we, you, me, do some shit, you know, take some time and shoot something, do something really stupid. I remember having a lot of fun doing a Red Dead Regimson 2 sketch or just me and my friend having a shootout and I'm riding his German Shepherd as like a dog

or a horse or whatever and having fun with that like feeling inspired now I couldn't I just can't I guess there's just nothing nothing's really inspired me I guess to do that

maybe like I thought about it briefly when OJ Simpson died I was like oh, I can do something with this. I feel like I can do something, but then I just love like whatever. Yeah, for me, it's more about access to me, where it's like I feel like to do the stuff that I would want to do, I need cameramen.

And I don't, I don't know. To even bother people with that in the first place is like, I don't know. But, yeah, anyway. Yeah, that's true. Let's move on to some questions. Or more questions, I should say. Sticking out my yacht for the Rizler, Rodin.

He says, hey there, buddy Holly, Bob Marley, and Stevie Wonder. Well, that's kind of... Am I buddy Holly? Are they what? Yeah. I guess it's an open question. Yeah, I mean, it kind of works that I'm Stevie Wonder right now, though, so, you know, that works perfectly.

Yeah, yeah, it works, yeah. Look at you. I'm blind as fuck right now. Look at this blind idiot toying around with that piano. We'll never make it. Success starts with your drive. An American Public. University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs,

APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APU.orgus.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Is there a music video? Is there a music video that completely skisks? scared you when you were growing up. For me, by the way, this question dated the hell that made me feel so old. Because the follow-up to this is, for me, it was the video for somebody that I used to know,

like, Gautier, which is a college song. That's a college song for me. I could see being, like, maybe, like, four years old and being kind of weirded out by, like, the painting thing. But, like, that's like, you got to be really young for that. You got to be really young for that to freak you out. So, like, I don't know. Dark stuff.

Dark, ominous stuff. scared me, not colorful paintings and stupid hipsters singing. Like, what would that scare you? Yeah, I don't, I don't fully understand it,

but like I was also just not young. I was also just not young with that video came out. I think to be, like there are, because there are things that used to scare me that I can't even fathom why they scared me today.

You know what I mean? Like, as a kid, I'm just like, why the fuck? Like, I used to be afraid of clowns genuinely and I'm like, I could just kill you.

Like, I could be, I could take a clown in a moment. Like, why would I, why was I, why was I even, I don't like these things.

But I'm not scared of me. I never was afraid of it. I used to be like when I was like really, really little, I was genuinely like they would, they would really freak me out. And then I can't remember. Like there was like, I had like an aha moment where like my aunt, my 50 Sylvia who lost me, she lost me in Manhattan several times. And my parents still let let her watch me. We went to, I got lost in the natural history museum seven times to the point where like I got to know the security staff. Like I was like, oh, Chris is lost again.

That's not even, that is not a bit. That's not a bit, by the way. That is real. Well, because they do I would just find my way back for you, bro. Yeah. My parents, that was a, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that, that was, that, that was a weird time. That was, like, it's so weird thinking about that because my parents are so different now than they use it. Like, my parents used to, like, my mom used to be, like, a, like, a city working woman.

Like, she was just, like, work all the time. And then my dad was, like, deployed. And now it's, like, my mom's, like, into Rakey and all this, like, like, oils and, like, like, like hip's like a hippie yeah it's it's like having flashbacks like daily flashbacks and my dad is my dad is in fact still deployed uh he's he's he's on the trenches still still my dad my dad's a fucking shogun with several disciples and katanas and stuff it's like what the fuck is going can you imagine you come you go back home and he he watched the hulu series shogun and he's completely entrenched in that world he's like you just you just you just

He gets flashbacks from the very idea of military conflict regardless of era. Just like anything. He's just like, oh, shogans. Yeah, it's just like, oh, Shogans. Oh, that reminds me of Vietnam somehow. That's insane. But so somebody that I used to know. It's a good show, too.

Yeah. Somebody that I used to know, you'd have to, I'll let it pass because I'm assuming that you're very young. I'm going to assume that you're skewing very young. But for me, I don't think I ever had a music video that scared me really. Like, there was never a music video that freaked me out because there was always music to accompany it that kind of like lightened the, I don't know. It was just like, I was always looking at music videos like, like, oh, cool. The only one that comes to mind, and it's not so much that it scared me, but I just thought it was like super fucking interesting and weird. And I actually think it got pulled off of YouTube recently was this animated, it was like a completely animated video.

Not exactly in the side. I think it was just, it looked kind of like an anime, but like a really well animated anime. It was called, and Derek, you might remember this if you peruse YouTube as much as I did back then, or even like in the early 2010s. It was called fantasy by die or die fantasy, lowercase D, capital Y, lowercase E. And it was this animated video of like a bunch of like, I think high school or like college kids in a swimming pool after like an indoor swimming pool after dark. And then everybody just like Akira's into these fucking crazy like monsters and, It's fucking... What the hell?

It's crazy cool. It's like a really cool video, but I remember that, like, leaving an impression on me when I was a kid because it kind of... It was really brutal

and, like, really well animated and, like, the tone of it was, like, fucking wild for, like, a kid to see. But it still didn't scare me. I just thought,

like, this is fucking wicked. I didn't see that. I just looking at it right now. I'm looking at it right now. It's a wild... If you skim through it, it's got some crazy imagery, man. Like,

D-Y-E? fantasy? Oh, it's, yeah, it's the reverse of what I said. So it's like capital D, lowercase Y,

capital E and it's called fantasy. I mean, that's not gonna you just, yeah, I guess it won't yeah,

I don't know. I just wanted to correct the record, I guess, because people are going to be weird about it. Some,

some, some, actually, actually, actually, actually, um, it's on

Vimeo. Actually, yeah, it got taken, it got taken off of YouTube, presumably because it was just

too fucking crazy, but like it's, it's, too wild. Yeah, it's like hypersexual and then like in the middle of it, it just gets fucking crazy. Super well animated though, especially for like a small, like I don't think it was made by a big studio. I think I've seen this before.

Yeah, it looks pretty cool. Yeah. I do remember having a, uh, being creeped out by one music video specifically. It was, uh, Marilyn Manson's cover of the sweet dreams or made of this, whatever. Oh, right, right. it's because the vibe of that his cover is so creepy it's such a I mean obviously by design obviously yeah and I just remember him having like sharp teeth and I don't know if it's him or somebody in the music video is running around with like a fucking giant diaper and it was just the it was creepy

as fuck dude I remember being a kid and I was like I don't like this I like Marilyn Manson I've heard some of his songs before and like oh pretty cool but there was something about the vibe of that song that really fucking just Like if they played that shit during medieval times I think people would have died I think people would literally would have been Too scared to like exist anymore Because it was just like one of those

Yeah Because I know there was a lot of like Minor chords That were not played in minor skills That were not fucking played Because it was like the devil's music Right right Shit like that would have really

Scare the fuck out of people Like there was just like I just saw the thumbnail I just saw the thumbnail for episode 225 of you kissing on Walton Goggins. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck. I want to, I want to,

I want to fuck his open hole. It's good. Um, his nose. Yeah. Yeah. But I also, do you think it would,

do you think that would sand your dick into the shape of like a, like a, like a, it would actually, like a triangle? Probably. It's probably pretty rough. It would, it would reach his, uh,

I wonder if he'd let me do it, though. Like, he's probably, he's been, alive for so long he's probably like this will maybe make me feel something he's like you know yeah maybe this will help me do anything to me do anything

maybe there's rad maybe there's rads in his semen that'll help me say alive longer um rads crazy that's crazy coming in his nose hole Jesus Christ Walton Gaggin more like

uh let's uh just lagging what is that All right. Snaple. What was that quote he said? What was that quote he said? Which one?

Like something like, hey, bendejo. Like you have three seconds, oh, and then he like shoots that guy in the head. What was, what did he say? Remember he, there's like a quote? Yeah, there's like a quality. He says something like he uses some Spanish phrase and he's like, bentejo bendejo, a chupamie verga way or something. And then he shoots that guy in the head.

Remember he didn't want to do it? Snap-alones, Yoo, Rode in. He says, Sween. How annoyed are you with the misconception that Homelander from the boys would be a real threat to any average DC superhero? Also, is his comic grant going to last more or less than five uninterrupted minutes? Go, take it away from Snapple owns you. It's like, it's like, it's like a thing that people see, you know. People don't read comics, so you don't understand how ridiculous combo characters are in comics.

So they see Homeland. and they're like, he's like Superman, he can fly and stuff. And it's like, he's similar to Superman archetypically, but Superman would hit him once and he would die. Comic, Superman would slap him one good time he would die. Comic books generally have like the Shonen problem where like, at a certain point, even like your lower level characters are capable of doing so much ridiculous shit that like there's really not a single person.

You could probably put like the fucking riddler against SpongeBob with his tune four. and like it's probably going to be close because it's just ridiculous like the shit that these people can do at this point it feels I mean it depends on where the characters exist in each each ring around right like like there's right and the movies do this too by the way

like sometimes like when Superman like reverse time by like flying around the world super fast I was like okay yeah that's how time works that's so that is insane I love that literally would have killed the world like if you kill everybody literally If you hold the world like that, everything fucking, like building stripped from the ground, everyone goes flying.

Like, I love everything. If you, if you, if you offset the rotation of the planet, everything stops for a moment and goes flying. And then it's just slam the back down. People would pop. It would be insane. But is this, this is how it is, man. You know, like, I don't know. Like people, we watch, we read, um, we see shit on an emcee all the time about like, like,

like characters are like, oh, like MCU Thor and Hulk. Like they're both horrifying creatures, but in and fucking, and they're showing it on television so they can't be as crazy as they normally be. That's why I think that everything that's cool should be resorted to animation. Where you can always see how cool they are, not just sometimes, but I just, yeah, I think, I think because those characters are so much, so, are capable of so much insanity that, like, seeing them in live action is inherently uncanny. You know what I mean?

It's the same reason why that Superman, like, flying in reverse. It's like, that works in a cartoon probably. But, like, in real life where you're just like, wait a minute. When you're a little bit more connected to what's happening, it's like, oh, that's not really how that works. You can't really have, or Dragon Ball is a great example. Like, you can't, look, you can't have Goku fighting freeze in live action. You can't fucking do it. You can't do it.

It would look so stupid. Even like that scene in Dragon Ball Evolution when he's doing the commandant, he flies towards Piccolo. Like, you could potentially animate that in a way that looks badass, but like in life, it's so goofy and dumb and dumb and dumb and dumb looking. There's no other way to put it. Every live action, like anything that has to do with like, even like a hadoken, like a Shinku Hadukin, where there have been like live action reuse, even like with like with like Bat in the Sun or something like that, it just doesn't look nearly as cool as when it's animated. It just doesn't. it's never replicated well because it just, I'm sorry,

like everything that goes into the animation, Goku's fucking arms like getting buffer in the veins and like just the swirling mysticism. Like you can't really fucking capture that. And it's just like, it's good. It'll always be nerfed in comparison to animation. And there are some characters that I think work better for it. I think there's a reason why Spider-Man and Batman were like,

or Spider-Man and Batman were some of the earliest like true successes. and it's because those are just kind of inherently a little bit more, like they're more grounded characters. The locomotion of Spider-Man works very well in live action. I think that is the only, like I think his swinging and his crawling work very, very well in live-action. Yeah, yeah. I think those are done very, very, very well. And I think Batman's aesthetic works very well for live-action. Because Batman can exist.

Like someone like him can truly exist. For a little while before he gets to a certain. A character, a real, a real, a real bad man could do that. A real Batman would not exactly Bruce Wayne. A real, a real Batman could exist for approximately two and a half weeks, I think. Before like, I think for a little while. I don't know. I would not give him over a month.

He would get sniped, though. He would get sniped with some shit. Yeah, a drone would be rifled. Pretty quickly. Like somebody would do something crazy. Yeah. So for me, what bothers me is that live action doesn't really exemplify how quick spider make him move. That's true.

That's what it is. It does a good job on how he, like, he can get from place to place and is crawling. But how fast he is, right? Like, the best depiction of his, like, his real combat abilities was in far from home. when he's fighting all the droids or all those all those robots that's a good

that was really good I was like that's a very good picture on Spider-Man moves yeah it's okay but the rest of that movie's piss on ice yeah the crime the crime of that scene

is that it's like it's a really good it's a really good showcase of Spider-Man's speed and ability but it's also like shot so boringly like that's really like

the problem with like a lot of like the modern stuff it's just like it's not a lot It's like, how do you do it? Yeah. I know, I know, but like, even just, even watching, oh, let me finish this real quick and then to Derek. Yeah, go ahead.

But, like, even watching Spider-Man 2 in, even watching Spider-Man 2 in the theater, like, even just something is like when Harry's going crazy and the camera like tilts. It's just like, they're playing with the camera. This is fun. This is cool. But like, when you have like just CG the whole time, it's kind of, I mean, that's sequencing with the series, but like, yeah, I don't know. What were you going to say that?

I guess some people do, well, actually, I'm feeding off of that. I feel like some people do miss that. They do miss it or they go completely in the opposite direction where I was just looking at that scene. I guess it was circulating where there were people celebrating that scene where Captain America takes down that light space jet thing or whatever, like a spaceship or jet. I don't remember what the fuck it was.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He just takes it down by himself. And there is probably close to 20 cuts, like jump cuts in that entire sequence. And it just looked like, what am I fucking watching? and where it's like There needs to be Avengers? It was in one of the Avenger movies

I don't know which one I don't remember which one But he like He jumps off a motorcycle or some shit And then he starts like Fucking it up with his shield And then he jumps off it And lands he sticks the landing

It's supposed to be like a really cool moment Where he takes down like a jet or something It's him in a Falcon I remember that one yeah It was he just takes down a thing Like it was you know It just he takes it down by himself And it's like a really cool moment

Where it's like oh look what he did But it looked really Fucking insane where I'm like, bro, this is, like, it could have been something where the camera's following him instead of it was just kind of like a bunch of times. It reminds me. Yeah. Do you remember what? Oh, my God.

I can't. I was it Electra or Catwoman. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Catwoman. It was definitely catwoman. The basketball. The basketball scene is crazy. Exactly the same thing.

Exactly the same. Just like that. Just like, what are you doing? Why did they make her play basketball, bro? I was like, come on. When I saw it the first time I was like 13, I was like, come on, bro. They made them play basketball. Yeah.

Success starts with your drive. An American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.apus.edu.

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. $1.20 million is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter, and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.

So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow.

Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's life. Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. She's never played back. It's because she's black. Yeah, it is.

Yeah, they were like, well, hey, listen, you're black, right? We're going to have you play basketball because that's what you people do, right? That's what you do. So we got to really show that you're a superhero by showing that you're not, you're not, you're not just playing basketball. You're playing extra. You're playing basketball plus three, man. You're on leg and there. I didn't know howley Barry was half white.

You know that, right? I didn't know she was half white woman. Of course. She looks a little bit darker to where I didn't know for sure, but I would say she had like fair of skin. I would say she would definitely have to be mixed just because she's not like, she's not my skin colors and not yours. You know, she's a little bit lighter. Some people are just some people are higher color. That's it.

It's because someone mixed in a family. Exactly. At some point along the line, somebody had to be mixed. I want to guess she's halfway. Same with Bob Marley. Bob Marley's half white. I did not know that at all. Marley, that, see, that would shock me.

Bob Marley, uh, I guess I never, oh, well, actually, I never really paid attention to his skin, like, how light he is, but kind of his skin is kind of light, yeah? Because, I mean, you think about, like, common, you think about certain people, like, they're lighter, like, they have to, something had to have gone on. But I get it because it's not like a Drake light. It's not like a, uh, what was that guy that? Yeah, it's what I mean, right?

Like, because they're, because they're, because they're, they're lighter, but they're not, like, they're not trying with, like, objective, like, white. features. They just out of ice white. The way that you can tell like that

yeah the way that you can tell though really is like if you if you look you can't take a photo of Shaq and make him white and it looks okay. You know

you can't do it but you take Holly Bear and you make her you make her a white woman and it looks entirely like that's that's generally like the rule like that would work like she looks she looks to me like a very

obviously half white person. I don't think she does to me really, but I mean, she doesn't like a mixed race person though. I was like she's going to make race person. I was just a white person. Oh, I got that.

This is, but I've also met white people that have like one black grandparent. Or like one of my aunts is insane. I know white people to have one black, like a black grandparent and I can tell their part black instantly. I'm like, you're part black and they're like, yeah.

Yeah, my granddad's black. How can you tell? How can you tell? Were they late? No, you know what they were? They were in fact very early. You're doing something. You're trying.

You're up to something, aren't you? What are you doing? What are you doing? That's how, yeah, that's how I, that's how I know I don't have any, I don't got a single, I don't got a black in me. I can't find a Photoshop picture of Shaq looking white. Am I failing? I've definitely seen them. I'm definitely seen them before.

I feel like I'm failing Google or something because it's like it should be. Look up AI white shack. AI white chat. I guess, yeah, yeah. White Shaq. Yeah, I can't find it. He would look so wrong, white man. Like, you could just tell.

And there are certain people that look totally, like, Bob Marley, if, without the dreads, I feel like you could take that guy's skin and make it white and it would look probably appropriate. Although, that explains why Bob Marley was such a peaceful soul. He was like two warring factions in his body that, like, triumphed. He was Jamaican. He should have been so much anger.

Yeah, that's very, I mean, makes no sense that he's Jamaican. If he wasn't like smoking every five seconds, you know, he probably was one of the ones

that like never had a break. He was just... He's a roster too. He should have been fucking fury. He should have had fury in his blood. I think he was just high like always. And so he escaped it. He had like,

he had like THC, like liquid, just it, like it's an IV at all times. Like a drip. He got like a drip who you're sleeping. I don't believe I had a THC drip

While I was sleeping I would die in my sleep I would get so calm I would die I would die I can't believe I can't find a white check This is this is insane Like this is insane You understand the principle there right

Like if you took a picture of Joe Biden And just like just cup Bucket Like paint bucketed his skin into a black guy It would look so far as wrong Then why did it will him the foe work so well Did it though? You know what you see

Do you think It did for a few seconds. Kingston, Kingston, that is, first of all, that is not what happened. That is a deeply edited photograph. That's not just like you made it. You made whites. That's not like you took Willem de Fo and just, like, changed his skin color. That's like you've edited that deeply.

That's what I'm talking about. You can edit anybody into being like whatever the fuck you want, but I mean just like from a sheer skin color change perspective. Like, that's how you can generally tell if someone's like half white or not. It's like, oh, you are multi, you work in both ways. Weird. You imagine if I was darker than you, but I had the same exact facial features. You imagine how confusing that would look?

I'm like, hey, you're a weird. You're a weird one, you know? It's just cool. Yeah. You're a weird one. You're a odd features, man. Mr. Spick. You look really strange.

You're a fucking racial chameleon and you strike me quite strange. It's like Freddie Mercury. Young Freddie Mercury, we related to anybody on the planet. He is so racially ambiguous. Young Freddie Mercury, yeah, yeah He's up in the air He can be anybody's cousin He's like 20% white

He's like he can be 20 He's like he's like Yeah, it's like 50% a bunch of races And then like the other 50% is like Like a like a beaver Like a mole rat or something Something with big teeth You guys got to go back and play

Resident Evil 5 and one of the recurring Enemies that's used One of the models Success starts with your drive and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion,

our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome.

I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. You're going to, I know exactly. I know

The tan man. The not black guy. Yeah. You know what that's like that going to talk about. Yeah. Jalapo is his name in the war. He said they're going to make a five remake? Not soon.

He's going to make a five remake? Not soon, but yes. I think they're going to go to one. I think they're going to go to one in like Code Veronica and those things first. And then they're going to do five. They're going to, because they want, I think more. I think so. I think they want more time to pass.

They did one though. I think, well, they didn't do a complete remake of one. They did a remake of one on the GameCube They did They did like a cool last remaster of one No no no They did a remaster of one like before two came on It was on like PS3 or something like that

No this was like a this was like a very old Like it really that old Yeah No That's yeah I have it The Rest Evil One remake It was on the GameCube And it sucks because

I think I'm pretty sure It sucks because It doesn't suck It just it is a They stay true to it's the Capcom like you know when you have to press forward to go forward kind of a thing if I remember correctly you remember their old button layout or I forgot what it's cool

it was it was the same basic setup except just better graphics but like that remake is older than the new than the most recent version of one not the most recent version that remake of that old game is older than Resident Evil 5 is so like I think one is kind of deserve the only thing with one is like One's not really robust? I'm pretty sure they did one in the...

I thought they did one for... They did one for PS3 and stuff. I'm pretty sure they did one for PS3 or possibly even, actually possibly even I'm pretty sure it was PS3. No, no, no. Because I remember, I think I downloaded it on PS3. Let's...

Yeah, but I think... I think it's... I believe that is the GameCube version ported. I think that's the GameCube version ported. That might be... That might be true. Yeah, because there's a Resident Evil HD remaster, but that's not really, you know.

No, because this version right here that I'm looking at is not GameCube. Like, absolutely not. What is it? So I can send it to you on El Stimo. Because the last real, like, top to bottom remake of Resident Evil 1 was fucking a long time ago. Like, pre-Resneville 5 easily.

But maybe there's like a fan project or something? No, no, no, this. You can buy this. You can even buy this on Steam. Like, this is definitely not GameCube. Like this is, when you look at it, is that would be, this would be mind blowing if it was on GameCube. I'd be like, holy shit, look at this. This is like PS3 or possibly even after. Like, I'm, I'm just trying to see the release on the, on Google. Because it says 2015 on here, but that doesn't mean anything to me. I want to see on Google, because when you look at the graphics, you're like, this is, this is, this is definitely. Definitely, this was newer. This is Resident Evil HD remastered. This was released on PC in 2015. Yeah, on PC. So it doesn't mean anything to me, but when was it like? I think, I swear this is PS3.

I swear this is PS3. I really do. I think this is, I don't know. I feel like I just look at the graphics. You know this ain't the Gabe one. No, I'm seeing it, but like they use. rendered graphics, they use pre-rendered as well in this. That's why, that was a big

thing about the Resident Evil remake at the time. It was like, wow, it looks so fucking good because they're pre-rendering the graphics for a lot of it. And now they're like, I guess, up-reshing the normal stuff. Because this is a game that already existed before 2015. I'm positive. I just don't know where. Yeah, I'm thinking it came because if I remember correctly,

I remember purchasing it on PS3. Like, it was like new. Like, hey, this is a new project that we have. that's what I'm you know I'm Resident Evil HD but I

Resident Evil HD remake or remaster release date Remaster Why can I not get a Just date I can't find the date March 22nd

March 22nd 2002 Yeah but that's clearly not the same thing I'm telling you this is what it is So look at no this is Look at January 15th It's set so on even on the Resident Evil Wiki

the remastered for PS4 Xbox 1 and PC actually did come out in 2015 which feels long. But that's a remaster for those systems. It's like it's the same game. It's not a different game. It's a port of the original. It's not a port though.

I promise you it is. If it's a port, dude when have you seen when have you seen something go for PS2 to having this type of graphics from an HD remaster alone just super like look at what they just did with the Tomb Raider games

for example like this would be that would be a complete 100% overhaul almost as if it was a fucking remake itself like you've just in a winning I'm just saying when have you seen something be ported from that and look this good I'm saying there's more TLC

here's what I'm saying I'm not saying that they didn't do anything what I'm saying is they did a remake and it looked really good on the game GameCube. I remember that being like a big thing. And like this is a really souped up version of Reson, one that looks really great on the GameCube. Obviously, on the original hardware, it looks a lot shittier. But what they did was they just up-res the assets to the point where it's like, okay, well, now it's like, okay, it's the same exact game.

It's just in 4K now. That's what they did for that. That's what this is. I'm telling you. Dude. I mean, look, man. Look, okay. I could be, I don't know for sure, but I feel really confident based on like my,

osmosis through like Colin and like all this stuff about Resident Evil that like there was never a Resident Evil one remake for the PS3 solely. It was always a port of like an older version. I could be wrong. The comments will let us know because I'm sure there's probably like some Resident Evil heads in the because I genuinely don't know. I could be wrong entirely. But my gut is telling me that this is an upres 4K remaster of a game that already existed on the GameCube.

I'll just say this. If that indeed is what it is, then that is the best remaster I've ever seen out of anything ever and ever everything because like say why not do that for why didn't they do it for say for example there is a dreamcast version of resin evil too that looks infinitely better than obviously the one that came out on PlayStation now why not just take that and then put that on PS4 and all of a sudden it looks like oh this looks like actual PS fucking four graphics like this because that's basically what when you look at this this doesn't just look like an up res 4k Like there's no fucking, you know how like,

it doesn't look like PS4 though. You know it doesn't look like PS3. It looks like PS3 is what I meant to say. But like it doesn't look like whenever you take any old game and you just, you know, you upscale it. There still has all the sharp corners and stuff. It still looks like it's very dated. And when you look at this, I'm like, this doesn't look.

It's definitely enhanced in some sort of way somehow for sure. I think it's literally, I think it's literally, I think it's literally because, again, I think they pre-rendered the backgrounds again, which allowed them to make a lot like higher quality models for the time than was usually allowed. Like I could be totally fucking wrong.

I'm not like a scientist, sounded like Resident Evil. I don't even know Reson Evil that well. But I feel- Look at these motherfuckers. There's something in my head. It looks exactly the same as Resonable 5. Like the graphics look like Resident Evil 5

when you just look at this shit. And I'm like, bro. They had to do, they've had to have done more work than just upscaling. Right, but I'll put it this way. It's, it probably is, it probably, they probably did more work. I'm just, it's, but it's not Resident Evil 2 level, you know what I mean? It's not that level of like, it's not like a complete, let me, it's definitely not, it's because like you're saying, it has the same kind of layout.

I was playing it and I got frustrated. Actually, I was playing it, I think I was play last year or something. I think I was just playing it because I was like, oh, I want to play. So yeah, I last played it in just almost a year ago. and I got upset because I ran into a trap or you know you take something off of this statue and then this like spike shit starts coming up and to squish you and I just turned the game off of that because I was like

I got fuck this game I was like I forgot sometimes I forget how puzzle heavy the older Resident Evil games were compared to like how they modernize it where it's not as annoying and yeah the it's it's half puzzle and I was like I just want to shoot stuff. I want to kill zombies. I hate the puzzles. Okay.

They were so annoying. They're so stupid. It's actually great. So long-winded. Yeah. I found a great example. What you got? We're like, okay, so here's gameplay.

Granted, it's a video from 10 years ago. Resident Evil remake the GameCube. This is like from the original GameCube version. Like it captured for you. Obviously with some compression. But you can kind of see like the resolution's bad. For sure. And they definitely

like souped it up. They definitely like probably like replaced the models and stuff. But it looks really fucking good for 2002, man. Like that's crazy actually.

Because games looked like fucking garbo back then. If you skim through it you can kind of see. Yeah, this is how I felt when, um,

if you looked at okay, that's fair. So maybe no, that's fair. Yeah, there's even reflections.

There's even like reflections on the floor like like that look like that look like ray tracing but it can't be it's just all pre-rendered so like i think i don't know i could be wrong we we gotta wait for the audience of trying to because i'm genuinely i'm more on i'm more on your side where i'm looking at this and i'm like hey uh i can believe that they just massively overhauled the graphics and and it looks because yeah it doesn't look that bad actually so it probably is because i mean it does it does It's a blurry for sure with compression, but yeah. Yeah, it does say it's an HD remaster.

It doesn't say it's remade. So it's, I could just be totally wrong and I'm just really fucking impressed. I'm just really impressed with, like, how they, because the way, the way that looked at it, I was like, oh, they just remade the same game, but like, with just better shit, you know, like better graphics. Like, let's just, this shouldn't take, this shouldn't take long, but no, it probably was just a massive overhaul in the way that I have seen some Skyrim shit that looks really fucking impressive, right, compared to

how it actually looks. Yeah. Oh my God, it's crazy. Crazy, bro. Yeah. Some of the hall are nuts. I put on an AK overhaul when I had a shit graphics card and I remember passing by a fucking waterfall and I was just like, oh,

it's over. Dude, I tried to play it when I was home. Your computer sound like a fucking jet. When I was home in New York for the live show, I tried to play helldivers on my old PC. Success starts with your drive. An American Public University is here

fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.apus.edu.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah,

20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone.

We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.

Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. With some friends of mine, I was like, yeah, let's play some helldivers. and it was running at like five frames a second on lowest settings. I was like, what the fuck is going on? And I forgot that, I forgot that I didn't put my old graphics card away. I just kind of put it in the computer because like, why would I put it like I need a graphics card to this computer on some capacity? I'm just going to store it in the computer where I could use it.

It's a GTX 980 trying to run. Trying to run. Oh my God. Nine? Oh my gosh. Dude. Yeah. So I was like, oh, whoops.

I'm so sorry. You pour a little you pour a little graphics card I'm trying to push my video games to the limits on this computer And it doesn't work everything is like oh it runs fine Well yeah The amount of What you described to me And like the amount of money invested

It should run Everything in existence right now smoothly And if it doesn't you wasted your money Bro I run Balders Gate 3 at its best settings Damn they are trying to overclock the game And it makes no noise And I'm like Yeah

I stopped in I stopped in I stopped investing I don't think anything else is going to get past that really Yeah Yeah

I just don't For probably I don't care Like to me Or probably be crazy We're we're approaching A point in time With video games

Where it's like Everything looks good enough to me Not at 4K I'm fine Like at 1440 It looks great to me And I'm just like

Give me more frames Like I'll play something At 1080p With good frames You know what I mean Like I could give a fuck less Really Yeah

120 at 1440 is perfect That's like perfection that is as good as anything ever needs to be really Yeah no I I feel you I feel you That's why like I when I upgraded my card I didn't upgrade it to something insane I'm gonna do one more And then I'll stop for a very long time

Because I'm already You know like I was such a console game for so fucking long That I don't need I didn't need like it was like say Okay I remember playing Xbox one And um Being at my friend's house with his PC And seeing the difference was pretty

insane. Like he was playing Shadow Mordor and seeing, I was playing Shadow Mordor on my Xbox one. He was playing it out. I was like, oh yeah, this is hilarious. I can see the fucking difference. But once I pretty much got to his level, I was like, I'm okay. Like I'm, I'm now like triple that since that year. And I'm like,

I'm, I'm kind of good. I'm all right. I really it's really now about performance more than anything. It's like, all right, let's get these frames nice and smoothed out and do some. I was playing Dragon Inquisition, the fucking cutscenes are so hard to watch because it's like 30 frames and it's weird. I don't remember being 30 frames when I was a- Oh yeah. It's a rough game. It's a rough game to

I can't do 30 no more dude. Yeah, 30. It's weird. I'll like 30. Yeah. I try to use a mod to get a 60. It didn't work and piss me off because I was like I would rather play. Weird, dude. Yeah, I would rather play a game at 1080 at the highest frameary possible than 4K at 30 easily. Right. For sure. So gross to me. My place is automatically set to put everything on performance mode immediately. Yeah, mine too.

I was just like I'm not doing what the fuck. Automatically. I don't care. I don't go to fuck about that shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, for sure. Let's try and get on to some of these. We got two more.

Oh, yeah, let's do it. Take our time with or run through, whatever. Bo Jiden wrote it. And he says, greetings boys. I have a question that will challenge both your historical and combat knowledge. If every American president got into a battle, into a battle royale, fight to the death, no items. that's important.

Who would win and why? Well, certainly not Joe Biden. Certainly not Jimmy Carter. Every president. You mean every president? Like, are we talking about every president? No, no. So we're talking about every president at the time while they're president.

Let's clarify that first and foremost. Wait, what? Okay. Because a lot of them are already dead. I'm already dead. So that'd be a really unfair thing to do. Yeah, that's fair. Okay.

So we have to choose them at the preterm as they're president. As they're elected, basically. Like when they're swearing. them themselves into office who would win in a battle right out. He's picking up at least two of them eating them.

No, Abe's Abe ain't lasting long, I don't think. I think Abe was I think he was Brittle. You had Brittle bones? I think he was like I thought it was like a winter

almost. Yeah. He just kicked him and then he'll fall immediately. It's like an AT-A-T where you just like you're so tall that you just tripled it.

Yeah. I think Obama's lasting a long time, man. I think Obama might take it. Obama might. I don't know, actually, because Obama is like a... I think... Who... What?

Who do you think... Obama? Was in better physical shape as a president than Barack Obama, actually. Probably a lot of the earlier ones. I think... I think... Maybe so.

I think physical shape their... I think you're considering their... shape at that time. That's why. No, I'm considering now, I'm, I'm, so to me, how I'm thinking about it is I'm immediately writing off every president after the 50s because they're like in comparison, like, they're just like they're soft. Like they're, they're pacified by like the comforts of modernity.

Like they're not, they're not out there. Like, there's no George Washington among presidents after 50 who are like in the woods fucking ripping the heads off of British people, you know what I mean? Like with their fucking wooden teeth and their poison brain. I think George Washington would be terrified by Barack Obama's Negro physique. I don't think he would fly to a rage. I think he would fly to a rage. I think George Washington would be like, what the fuck?

I think George Washington would fly to a rage. We got to leave them. Do you move to quick? George Washington is lasting pretty long. I don't know if George Washington would take it, but I think he would last pretty long. I think he's last. It's only less very long. I think those are people, those are then people.

I think that's the thing. It's like people then were more willing to kill, but I don't think they were physically in better physical form. That's better, though. That's better. Yeah, they survived everything. Like, they're, that's true, but I'm like, like, they didn't have any of the amenities we have, man. They're survivalists in a way that Obama is not.

That is true. I think of it like this, right? Like, like, think of it like this, Chris, our taeino ancestors are probably way more lethal than us, but I could probably pick one up and. fucking fling one. Like throw them like a rock. The lethality is the point. They could kill me.

They could kill me. They could kill me because they're more capable of killing. Like, they're more murderers or more pharaoh. But if it was a contest of strength, I would, I would, eviscery.

It's not a contest of strength. What do you not know about battle royale? It's a contest of let's a contest of strength between a two of us. Well, we're not talking about that. We're talking about a contest of lethality. What are you talking about?

We might as well get into an argument about which one will, We might as well get into an argument about which one to play the drums better. No, no, no, no. Let's think about this, right. Like George Washington runs up to Barack Obama with an axe, right? He tries to grab the axe from him. Barack Obama grabs George Washington's arm.

Not having. And then may outpower him. Not happy. I think he may just outpower him. I think he might. That is so crazy. Do you know how tall George Washington is? And how he wasn't.

He wasn't he was on Barack Obama. He is. I don't think he was a fucking ghool, dude. Was he really another ghoul too? Was he one of those crazy tall ones as well? He was a, I think he was like a regular high person. He's got like, no. He's got like rads all in him.

So he's like fucking, he probably really feral. I think that's how he got the shit done. George Washington was, that's how much. Wasn't he one of those guys that? Oh, shit he was? Yeah. Pretty much if you were tall back in the day, I thought he was tiny. I'm wrong then.

You were going to be a leader. If you were tall back of the day, you were a leader. That's just how it worked. Yeah. Big or stronger. They're the same. They're the same height, I would say. But, like, no combat experience. Watches.

He literally was a veteran. I think he pulled his cock out. You know who might win? You know who might win? You know who's proven? They were tough already. Reagan proved he was tough already. Like, actually, he really proved he was a tough motherfucker.

He got shot. He was doughy. He got shot. No, man. Well, when he first became president, he wasn't fucking. He wasn't a bitch. He was kind of still, kind of still stuick. He was always a bitch.

He was just an actor. Yeah, he's an actor. Yeah, I'm not Riggins Was he, look I'm gonna give it to No, he wasn't He wasn't

No If he was then I just don't know I just I guess I just don't care enough About knowing that I feel like can I say something? I don't know how controversial this will be But I think

I think Teddy Roosevelt's probably I think Teddy Roosevelt's Probably last Until the last At least three Teddy? Yeah definitely He ain't going out really

For sure I mean Teddy's been about the shit so He already proved he was about the shit. Didn't he steal a bear and make it as like, homie? He's a beast master. Sure, yeah, of course he did. Yeah, Teddy Rolls.

I thought some bullshit like that actually, like, it's probably far-fetched some far-fetched bullshit. He did everything. He's awesome. But then he like, all right, you're my friend now, bear. I'm going to say, look, I'm going to give, I'm going to give Taft if there's no, if there's no, if there's no weapons or anything, I think Taft, because I think he's fat as shit, if I remember correctly.

I think he was the one Yeah, he was My memory sucks so bad that I think he's the one that started the seventh inning stretch in baseball Because he would have to stand up after a while And when the president stands up, everybody has to stand up So he would have to sit because his ass would go numb if I remember correctly So he's like a big motherfucker that would be hard to take down So I would give him a larger chance to like at least survive in the later rounds

Because he just has a lot of meat But as far as savagery goes I'm probably going to give it to Ulysses S. Grant Because I think he was just like a drunken fucking maniac That would probably Probably tear a lot of people apart You know He would last pretty long I think like he's

Yeah I think he would be I'd give it to him Like if we're gonna like talk about all the presidents I feel confident that Because like you gotta be a savage to like Be able to just deal with these Devant fucking Southerners Just you know just keep coming And fighting so hard for slavery

And you're like god damn these motherfuckers are I got to really want to keep them they really want to keep them god damn like maybe I should Jesus shit Am I on the wrong side would you think that

could you imagine thinking that like these motherfuckers are fighting so hard like like maybe there's should we just let them stay slaves that's so wild dude they're putting their balls to the wall right now

goddamn he's not going to find so hard for something that's not even benefiting most of them. Most of them do not have slaves at all. They're fighting so hard. I think now, so interesting question. Who do you think is the first one dead? First one dead?

Trump. No, I don't think Trump's dying first. Trump would talk shit and someone to murder him. He would talk so. That's what he does. He can't help it. He would open his mouth. He would say some fuck shit.

And then Washington would slap the top of his head off. I don't think he would last long. I think he's out in the first, like, 10 people for sure. Like, but I don't know if he's the first one. I think, uh, uh, uh, uh, he gets, he gets beating pretty bad. Like, you'll probably coward. He'll probably turtle up. He'll shell up for a while.

So he'll last a little bit longer because he shells up because he's going to get slapped. So he's going to slap him, right? He's getting beat up on, but he survives technically longer. You're all so gay. He'll be able to survive longer than some other people. You're all so gay. I hate you. Yeah.

No, I think... He's going to it. All of you presidents are worst in me. I'm the best. You guys are terrible. I think it's a tie. And Grant would pick up a fucking spire rock and throw at him and kill him. So let me...

Am I wrong? Maybe one of you can fact just fact check this for me. But did FDR have polio when he was like elected? Like was he like... I don't know that. I don't know that fact. I'm not sure. Let's see.

Yeah, or if it happened later, I don't know. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop.

You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. EDU. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each We get bigger and badder and our army grows, so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365.

Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Um, if he has polio, he's like one of the first people gone. I like, he's my favorite president probably, but like, yeah, no shot. He's lasting long.

If he's a polio riddled fucking freak. I think he had it. Yeah, I think he had why he was elected. All right. So he's, he's one of the first. It's between FDR, Jimmy Carter and Warren G. Harding, I think. Those are, those are the three people who are probably going to die first. I think.

Yeah, I think FDR dies. Yeah, I think FDR dies. Jimmy Carter's too nice. Jimmy was the last good human being to be a president, really? Or probably the only really good person to become a president? And they were like, you're too soft. Yeah, he just doesn't. He doesn't have it in him to survive a battle real.

He's my favorite president, though. It makes me sad. But I do think he'll get boxed to death. Like, you know, like you can't run away or nothing. Yeah, he can run to people over the police. He probably runs. Yeah, he probably got strong arms, though. Yeah.

Yeah, but his center of gravity is probably fucked. If he gets your throat, it's over. Yeah, but no one's letting that happen. That's kind of thing. It's like he's not winning. Warren G. Harding, I think, is funny because he's, he's famously, like he, he's the one who wrote. Wasn't he the one that quit?

I think like a couple. Yeah, he was, well, he was, no, he's the one who died in a, in a train. Like, he died on a train eating, like, I think he ate bad lobster or something, but like he wrote on it, he wrote somewhere. Like, it's a famous. thing that he wrote, he said, I think it was like after the first couple, like, days in office, he wrote on like a piece of paper that they found, I guess, later. It says, I am not fit for this office and never should have been here. Ah, yeah. Yeah. So like he's out. Like he's, he's, he's

complete, he's out. He's out immediately. He has no self-confidence. He cannot carry himself through a battle rail. Can't even eat a lobster. It's fucked. Yeah, he got done in by a fucking lobster. That's just, we're so stupid. But yeah, I think that's probably, what if they gave a more noble death and they said that it was like lobster poisoning but an actual lobster just clawed him to death. What if like Imagine getting killed by a lobster for real he was going to boil the lobster and the lobster

actually fought back in one. Like it it caught him and it pinched him. He fucking he fell over the boiling water actually got on him and the lobster finished him off. He was so fucking people that a

lobster with like a normal lobster, nothing special bad it was able to get the upper hand of him in combat and murder him that's bananas they're like we'll just say it was not happening this is too embarrassing this is way too embarrassing to say i love the idea i love that idea of him just like in the kitchen being like well i'm gonna make myself i'm gonna i don't know what he sounds like he's a fucking from the i don't even know how long ago but he's like oh i'm gonna cook myself up a lobster and then he what is it what even happens like he goes to put

it in and then like the zip ties around the lobster like snap and then he like it reaches behind it it and like flips him into the pot fucking stupid I think my scenario is a little more believable you know like the lobster bites him

he gets cooked alive you know he slips Mickey Mouse him that is so crazy The lobster fucking Judo throwing G. Hartig. Gino flips him into the fucking pot where his head is just in it. Only his heads on the pot and he's sticking out of it.

He's boiling the death. He can't figure out of it. It's like in Kung Powell when he can't figure out how to get out of the tiny net. He's like, my head's in the, my head's in the, in the, in the pot, I can't figure it out. He just can't pull his head out. That's where they got, that's where Kung Powell got it from. They got it from the real history, the true history of Warren G. The real history of the death of.

I love that idea. So I really like the idea of him reaching to put the lobster into the pot. It's like what the newspaper is going to be like President Warren G. Harding. He's like, what the fuck do I do? Warren G. Harding found boiled to death. Found beaten and boiled bloody. Lobster in jail for questioning. Yeah.

Next to a gloating, some witnesses say giggling lobster. Yeah, it's just like It's just like It's just emoting It's just fucking like Celebrating That it just fucking did it And then they

They're doing like that Fortnite Yeah They're doing the Fortnite basic dance Bo bo bo bo bo bo boo Do it a Just fucking He's just

He's just sell And then they They fucking You know They put them in prison They They they What it would

I think they They started the electric Chair Around that time Right They definitely have a crude version of it They probably just sit you in a chair And wait for lightning to strike

A bunch of batteries They probably put you on a bunch They probably put you in a chair made of a bunch of batteries And the rooms for the outlets And they dash water on you You get them To get them from everything Wait Kingston

Why would they have batteries And not the electric chair They haven't figured out To make the chair electric yet They got batteries though I don't know I don't know I mean you could be right

We're in a world where a lobster just freaking ropy dope someone into a fucking pan. That is true. I don't know why I'm harping on the logic. A fucking lobster, a Japanese lobster that learned judo. And it just made it to the shores of America and got unlucky until it struck. It found the right time. He couldn't get out of nets. He couldn't get out anything.

But he could judo flip the fuck out of somebody, bro. The sheer density, the density of the density of the, the density of the, you know, the density of that lobster must be insane to be able to like flip another person over itself while remaining basically in the same spot like I'm almost I'm almost imagining it

like the lobster is the hinge and Warren G. Harding is the pendulum like the lobster almost doesn't move it is suspended in midair as it flips so there's no momentum at all it's just fucking no that is that is

That is an incredible lobster. I'm glad that we discovered this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, it's, um, our listeners. It's sad that so many people don't know about it. And what's even crazy is that that lobster was later released on parole, I think, recently, like, in, in, in 2023, I think, we was, he was, he's out on, he was out on parole. So, yeah. Do lobster live for a long time? Lobsters live for at least Five years

A couple hundred years Lobster lifespan I think they're the oldest Animals on the planet They live for about 100 years This wait when is Warren G Hardy I don't actually remember what president he was That might be too late

I don't fucking know either You're just in the middle of all the ones I don't give a fuck about years Years in office 1923 140 years 1923 so it's literally a hundred years it's it's literally possible that lobster is chilling and and is they sent that lobster it was a baby at

the time when it when it killed them and then it's been in prison for the last century and it's it's about to be released with only one year left in its lifespan and it you know there's there's photos of him on like the beach in tuscany um it's pretty wild yeah you know it's cool Kim Kardashian in her new crusade of getting people out of prison who were wrongfully convicted that was the first

She actually She actually got them out And there's a nice series on Spotify That I listened to about it It's really good And the lobster did an interview You know It was you know

I didn't really understand I think it does Morse code Because it just like does the little Claw things Yeah I didn't really understand What it was happening I think you tried to crack a couple jokes

Because there was a point where like the interviewer laughed But like I just didn't get it Because I just I don't speak the click language of the lobster But it's a really fat Everybody really look up that interview if you want Because it's a really fucking fascinating interview Like because there are There are subtitles

Even though it's audio only And they go into some really In depth Discussions about like He goes into like Because he goes into like Because he goes into how he does it like it like the lobster went into how he flipped him over into the into the pot of boiling

water uh he goes over what life was like for a lobster in prison they had to build like a special cell for him because he was too like he could just walk through the bars um yeah it's it's a pretty wild story and for like a hundred years he and what's crazy about it is he's completely unaware of like all the technology that is that has happened in the last like hundred years so he's like there's like there's like a there's like a video of him like walking out of the courthouse and people are like taking photos of him and he's and he's freaking the fuck out he's tweaking dude like he doesn't know what the fuck is going on. He's like, what, what, uh, you know? Yeah, he's like, afraid he sees, he sees, he sees cars and stuff. He's trying to cross the street and cars are

freaking him out. And then he eventually gets, um, a job at a grocery store and, you know, his like, hands are hurting and stuff. He's bagging. He's asking the boss like, hey, can I go to the bathroom? And he was like, for the last time, you don't need to ask to go to the bathroom. And he's like, okay. And it shows him back in his apartment. He's like, man, life's really hard. So he, you know, he's carved something in there. And he's like, you know, he got to get busy living and get busy dying, then he hangs himself. It was really nice of Kim Kardashian to set him up with that apartment, by the way, because there's, there's,

he's so not fit. He's so, he's so not fit for the work, for the work environment now. He's been out of the public consciousness for like a hundred years, like so much has changed. I bet he probably got his first, like, minimum wage check and thought he was fucking loaded. Because he's like, oh my God,

seven, seven dollars, like, whatever it is, like $15 an hour? Oh my God, I'm going to be rich in moments. But like, yeah, it's not how it is anymore. Anyway, that's a... Anyway, thank you for asking the question. I don't know if we determined who would win, but I think we narrow the conversation down to

interesting enough. I'll give it a grant, just because... I'm leaning towards Roosevelt, but I would... I'm leaning towards Roosevelt, but I would give it to Grant too, probably. There's something about that guy that, like, seems unhinged enough that he would have no problem, just doing... Yeah. Doing away with most people.

And the last question. what the fuck was that may thy load drip and splatter you wrote in he says probably a question just for chris and derrick but have you guys ever thought about using AI for some of the gay song covers of course I'd rather hear you guys do the work but it's also funny to almost hear the exact actual singer singing the gay lyrics uh I I haven't there was only one time I thought about doing it was because I've been putting a bunch of one on Instagram and it was for the ACDC cover because his that's a hard one to do voice yeah Brian Johnson sounds like a fucking bird and like

it was really hard to do um I did it as well as I could and it was still bad because it's just I can't do it it's it's he has a very unique voice in a way that I'm like wow you just I just don't know. I can't get my throat to emulate that. And so I thought about using AI for it. I actually even I was looking through the best thing to do. But as I was kind of doing research, I'm like, what the fuck am I doing?

This is stupid. Like, who cares? Like, it's a stupid bullshit joke. Who cares? I think part of it's almost funnier if it's not exact. You know, like, I don't know. Like, if we just did gateoactive,

but we just used like the original guy, Like, I don't know if that would have been nearly as funny. Um, as it would have been, it would, it would, it probably would have been like, impressive. And like in the, in the same vein as Mr. Crabs doing a Billy Jean is, to me, it's not funny. It's, it's, it's, like, I was like, dude, this is really good. And, and, and, and, and I'm not laughing, really. I'm more, I probably laughed for the first 30 seconds.

And then after I'm just like, man, this is really fucking good. I feel the way about these things That I feel like Do you guys remember Diddy That that app You could type in Oh my God I have a video of Derek

Save them I save things We just put the N word a bunch And I have that shit saved It's still on my phone I want to share it Often but I'm like I can't I'm really sad that I didn't say

Like because I made some really funny ones That like cracked me up for like weeks and then like my phone We made some good ones Chris Yeah I was so happy with it And then like my phone I never really back up Things from my old phone really

Like I just don't know It's I like to start fresh Whenever I have the opportunity to So like I only really select Really specific things like Oh these are photos of my friends Or my family Or my family are like moments

That I specifically care about But all that meme shit Just kind of went away And I'm like oh man I wish I had I really wish I had saved some of those Because some of those were bangers man And I don't know

And I'm sure I posted some of them on Twitter, but like I don't even know how to find those at this point because it's so many years ago and I'd have to scroll through so much. I don't remember the time frame. I don't even remember the month of the year. If you can remember keywords in the caption, that's your closest bet of finding something. Well, that's the thing. I don't even think I put captions on. I think I just, I think I just tweeted them without context. So, well, yeah, there you go. But yeah, no, I, I've never considered it. It was. Yeah, I don't, I don't think I'm going to do it. I know, some people, it was. It

was weird. Some people thought on Instagram it was AI that I was using. And I'm like, are you stupid? Like, it's, it's clearly not the artist. Like, it's, I don't know, I feel like it would be such a terrible AI too, if it was. I was like, I was, I don't know, some people, some people are just too, some people are too stupid. And, and, and, and then I, I, I get disillusioned with reality, I guess. Because I'm like, dude, this isn't, it, it should be important. possible to be the stupid. It should be impossible. And then it's not impossible. It's not impossible. Nothing's impossible. Nothing's impossible. Nothing's impossible.

That's true. He can be as stupid as you want to be. With strength and prayer, bro, nothing's impossible. With strength and prayer, you two can get Jesus to kill Peter Parker. Let's get on with the end. Please, Jesus. The end of the show. Thank you all for, thank you all for tuning in. Thank you all for watching. Remember? I was celebrate my birthday. Yay. I don't know. Hang out with a family. I'm going to go. I'm going to go suck a dick.

I really just want to chill. I'm going to suck a dick in your honor. Success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion,

our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APU.orgia.org. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.

And each year we get bigger and badder, and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open.

Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan. from Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. No, we're doing, I'm nothing, none of my friends.

I just don't have time to do with my friends. We stuff to pack. Yeah. We're going to get dinner with the family. They're going to be late like two hours because that's how Mexicans are. And then I'm going to come home packing. I'm ready to leave like early as fuck in the morning. But I'm going to the zoo tomorrow, once in the same day because we're really excited about that.

are you going to watch all these tortured animals that's cool man zoos are in fact not only for torturing animals it's for keeping them alive sometimes too yeah a little torture a little life ain't bad bro you're keeping the you keep a little life ain't bad bro you feel me fair enough you can't get everything you want you know if you want a live panda

you're going to have to let us throw shit at you sometimes sorry mr panda gotta make a fucking choice fair enough man you yeah yeah yeah There you go. I got nothing to say to that. I have no rebuttal. All right, guys.

Let's put the fuck out of here. Oh, you want to do it? No, I'm not doing that shit again. It's just fucking murder. What? Well, you did offer, so. Happy birthday. I'll count you down.

Oh, yeah, I'll count you down. Do you want to do it, Derek? Nobody wants to do this. That's a bad question. No, I mean, I don't, next time when I don't have my sunglasses on, I'll do it. All right, I'll do it. All right. Three.

Let's go. Two. One. Evil method man be like, we're pixies. We're pixies. I did not know she was 16. Fred Flintstone and Blackface screams. I jabba, dabba didn't do nothing.

The Home Depot day laborers who touched my son. The owner of Derek's foreskin. Miguel O'Harris, transmask pussy. Lily drinking piss is so disrespectful to her character. To her character. To her character. Imagine Juergens. Turian pussy in this life or the next

I siphoned every last drop of piss from Sween's shriveled boy balls Just a chugging in front of Lilliamaker jealous It's a prank bro As he places semen in his penis That's wild What? White me down because I'm covered and come

Little boozy Jack the world's fastest mayori Bethesda fallout is OG fallout What the hay-oh wait huh Bethesda fallout is OG fallout Is two oh Is two OG fallout What the Halo show is to the OG Halo trilogy

I would disagree My boyfriend sprayed me With the shower handle attachment So I called him Chris Watergun He later topped me Well

God bless Wow That's uh It's okay Good for you Congrats man I wasn't expecting that turn I was like whoa

I don't know how to What does that mean? What is the implication here? He's definitely skipping parts There's definitely parts he skipped. He's definitely skipping parts. Yeah, because the implication is that... Because the implication is that...

The reason this happened is you called him a joke version of my name. Chris Watergun, I just right. He just curbs to his dick and start sucking it. Immediately. Immediately tops. I love war, Charlie. I love war. Big meaty stinks.

Andy the man whose handies are Esther and dandy. Sticking out my yacht for the Rizzler. If Derek was tall, and light-skinned he would look like a goron heath smoker Charlie Sheen joining the Mujahadine bending over Tom Sween and inserting his peen on

Halloween Chris Raikamal Dongado Huh My piss look weird I don't know That looks kind of strange Yeah Tariga Sheads

Secret white gay lover Smormu Homeless trans femme who comes Drake raped Kendrick Also Derek is a sex monk Monk petition for a waffle house stage in tech and eight that would be that would go hard that would be sick oh dude i saw somebody uh do that immortal combat yeah it's cool so it's such a good idea

that's so smart uh i sneeze one big cube of solid matter on the daily all right my queer spear be gaping men's balloon knots like a child's talking a birthday party ah one of my lecturers got cucked by the lead singer of the pixies um Gay OT Genesis, be like, I'm in love with a homo. SpongeBob Piss Pants, Mr. Pants. Chris Bichanto and Sween Blackman, how do you feel about Into the Line Final Shape, Ballard the first since, Spumba Fudders?

What if instead of I Love Lucy, the show, was I love pussy, and it was about me. Well, unfortunately for you, I'm already in talks to start this show, so you can't have it. Jolly old dipshit. I love Pussies, hilarious. Captain of the Starship Enterprise,

Lujan Pecan. I don't get that one Patrick hit him with that autistic flow Black Steve Miller be like I'm a picker Oh man I'm a picker I'm a grinner I'm a lover I'm a yeah Yeah I get it

I get it up Yeah God damn May the load dry up and may May thy load May thy load drip and splatter Ciphergraph A fiberglass fleshlight prank

Oh my God that is crazy that's so mean that is beyond that's fucking demonic that is a fucking that is that is

oh man villainous a o philly looking way better than New York right now gay butcher Pete be like he's whacking and jacking and packing so dumb Hunter Dubois hosing

hosing the homeless with dirty brown water given top to my fortified penis fat nerds blowing hot monstrously thick bombs lash lash car my dick taste takes four sharp

lefts NASCAR lily's asparagus binging piss dealer the bag the back the tank of piss Caucasian container the crackabout for gays disgruntled Donald Trump burping on dom's clit Super Earth is just regular earth about Israel Max silhouette two cheers to the bestie for coming out of the closet

hip hop you're gay Hip hip, hip, you're gay. That's so dumb. She's pipkin on my pippa. Pawsom, Rosa Milano. We are rebranding the snark tank as the spank tank. Maybe slightly above average energy. It's okay, Hunter.

You can say it. We won't tell. Just the hard R. Star Coffee ripped the digital hookah. Now I'm getting molested on the set of Embryonic Sheldon. Taylor Swift is the most overrated artist alive. This album sucks. Yes.

It's pretty, it's pretty bad. Her album is awful, bro. Huh. It's awful, dude. Even as somebody who doesn't, like, I don't hate Taylor Swift really. I don't hate Taylor Swift really, but like I always try to, like, I don't know. I give it a chance. I give all music a chance generally.

Like, if I hear about it, it's like, yeah, I'll listen to that album. It's bad even by that standard. Like, it's rough. I think I've said, I, I have always thought she's relatively unremarkable. And I think that's why. I have a really serious problem with female singers that are unremarkable. Cut it. That's it.

That's where it ends. They get praise. I get really bothered about it because I think some of the greatest. I think most of the best singers ever are women. They're so many fantastic. Like, Lino Horn. Better.

They just have a better. Well, they have the capable of having better range. That's how it is. Duh. But like Lino Horn, freaking Donna Summers. We don't have to go on this old diet tribe.

But like, No, but yeah, but I love all of them, right? And then, like, there's people that, like, this person's a great singer. And I'm like, where are they great singers? Like, Adele, though she makes boring music, she's a fantastic singer. She's great, but she's her face of Ohio by going homeless to pay you function. This is now his memorial, Rip John. She's not, she's not.

Transfam. Taylor Swift's a dumb bitch. Transframed gregling. She's made. She's frighteningly made. Exposing people with lactose and tolerance in 90 million rodents of ionizing radiation. Eush, Wormst. Craig the Canadian.

Crazy, dog. Yeah, we got to be careful. Craig, the Canadian. Chris got three. Whatever. That's fine. Whatever. What do I got?

What? Show up. Whatever. Take me. What do I got? What do I got? Take you. Whatever.

I got nobody at home. Craig the Canadian. My favorite part of the snark tank is the credits. You should start the show by reading them? No. It's your boy, Shawnee D. Friendly Neighborhood Sex Offender. If I won 100 million bucks, I pay Hans Zimmer to write 20 million to write a score about all about my fat cock and golden income.

This is why you do not have 20 million. $100 million, by the way. Yeah. 3XO and the boundless nostalgia resulting from the site of old game informer covers. The homeless cat that Shane Dawson impregnated

slurping, stroking, smoking, joking. Amotikon's going like this. Drip M.H. Lord of Homeless Drip. Sillian spitting piss into Lily's mouth like a mother bird feeding her babies. Oh my God, the tannis. The idea of Sylvester Stallone baby birding piss

into anyone's mouth at all is fucking wild that's how he feeds his kids Lily come here Lily it comes out his fucking nostrils

hard he's just spraying put your mouth up to his nostrils like like in like you know the hamster thing you got to like it's like it's like it's like It's like a fucking nasal spray. Zeus, man milk,

Obi Won't you Blow Me, Jackson Vernon, Norwegian Game Dev, developing Spanx the Quest. Cremlin de Gremlin, Hey, Derek, who sucks the best dick out of the group? I'm going to steal your bones. Ha. Me.

I threw that come before I came in the room. Many men, many, many men wish sex upon me. Zoo by Denzel Fury. She blow me away until my Benjamin breaks. Imagine if those flying monkeys grabbed Chris from his seat and molested him mid-air. been crazy. That would have been fucking jarring. Yeah. If I was molested by the flying monkeys

at the Wizard of Oz, at the fucking wicked show. And you're just out of reach of anybody can stop them? You're just out of reach. You didn't sign... You guys signed the waiver to get into this show. Sorry. Like this, the script, it clearly states that one of, one random member of the audience will be

viciously molested by flying monkeys. It's part of the show. It's meant to sell how dangerous the flying monkeys are. Sorry, it's art. If you can't handle that, maybe stay home. Maybe theater isn't for you. Maybe you should just go home and I don't know, do taxes or play minesweeper or whatever it is you fucking nerds do for fun. We're here busy enjoying the miracle of theater and if you can't handle it, fuck you. Success starts with your drive and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200

flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether your changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion. Our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. Atapus.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this

year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Wage Slate 583. As they're still molesting you, as they're still fucking you. Yeah, yeah. As the flying monkeys are still fucking you. You're like, a sad guy from Michigan.

Telling the boys, it isn't gay to be gagging on Goggins because we appreciate the performance, but I'm secretly crossing my fingers. For the Pepini brothers, present Master Roshi Flow, call my Dick the Turtle Hermit because it only gets bigger when shooting Kam'A is. Donk, Donkerson, hey, Kingston, pause.

No, literally, uh, this is literally where the name is C. Uh, installing a faulty neuralink in Chris's head that plays thunder on repeat. You gotta pay the troll still again, the boys hold. Gate 6 is afraid of Gate 7 because 7 gave 9. Uh, gay version of gay be like gay,

more like gang on Dix, am I right? Uh, you probably could have saved that at the end if, if you turned it to, am I gay? and committed to it, but I appreciate it, nevertheless. You stand at the edge of a precipice, not a prefaceus. What are you talking about? What are you talking? What is this?

You stand at the edge of a precipice, not a prefaces, Chris? I know what a precipice is. Bars. And I've never used, I've never used preface. A preface is not a precipice. Precipice. The other thing precipice, not precipice. What do you mean?

you think he's saying? I'm reading it. Oh. I think he means it. I know what he's saying. No, no, no. I think he means it's not really saying. I think he's wrote something down, but he means to say something different. Maybe. Yeah, I don't, I don't know. I never have never said the word prefaces.

That's insane. Using a turkey baster because I hate gay sex. Ah, help. Fuck. I'm the dumbest lesbian. They're coming. Lots and lots of dick and balls. I'll carpet bomb the guys a strip. I'll carpet bomb the Gaza Strip For a quarter

I can't do that voice right now It's too early For a quarter He sacrificed all those little brown people As fucking crazy I don't know Eddie This seems a little unnecessary Oh my God

It's the Holy Land Eddie I can't even fucking fathom What that would be Chronic herpes By Come 40 What goes up must come down Yet my dick's hard on the ground See my boys getting stuff

and drown. Yeah, Merck's 1889, she worship my balls, call her sacrilegious. That sounds like an Eminem. That's an Eminem line to me. The first church to key David presents a massive orgy, but only the dude showed up. The second church of key David featuring

being better in the first church key David. Oh, by all accounts, probably. If the first church is anything like they're just describing. That is very true. Pryoraz, Blake 896. I damn near chokes to death Hearing Sweeney say he thought The Klansman Power Rangers

Characters in episode 22 That's what's written Chris trying to read He's got to fix that sentence He's got to fix that sentence But we get it We get it Yeah I feel like he wrote that sentence before

And it made sense So I feel like he's like trying to make it worse I think he did Jeffrey Epstein was killed By the code name kids next door Alaskan oil field trash Texas Tater Salad Last name bleach

First Name Drink Like a failed abortion I should have drowned in the sink. Sue Hulk, tickle my ass hair is Nikki Zicky. Humana, Humana, Awuga, Wicked 909, sorry Ms. Jackson, badly brave, hugger, Derek, duck cunt, the vegan necromancer, I got consent, atherian, Bulgarian, Punter, Melfaston,

finally rehabilitated and back in a saddle with two functioning hands. And as always, the grounding out our list of wonderful patrons is the king. Is the king. Of hap-hazard. Thank you all for your support. This, first of all,

the merch will go live on Patreon in the very, very, very beginning of May. We're just finalizing some prices. And then it will go live for everybody in mid-May. This is going to be a bit... I'm probably going to resize this because I think it's in the wrong place. But this will be available for whatever reason you want fucking bryl on a shirt. You shouldn't.

But it'll be there until the 17th or the 18th or whatever day it is that it goes live for everybody. So pop on over the Patreon to check that out. Much appreciated. Also, guys, don't be afraid to give us some ideas, because we know you guys, you guys want the merch. It's for you guys. So give us ideas. Don't forget to shoot us ideas in the comments like that. Like, hey, we like this kind of thing.

Because I know there's probably like Shot Uncle Bench that you guys want or like a pack or pizza time or like that. To piggyback on that, I'm going to pin on our, on our, I wish I knew the ad of Snart Tank team, I think on Twitter. I'm assuming. Yes, I'm going to pin Because I asked a while ago I'm going to pin that tweet So you can add to that in the replies Because we have a little bit of a well

From there to look at what some of you people were saying If you want to contribute to some of those ideas It'll be it'll be pinned I'll do that before I forget It's a collaborative effort So yeah Anyway thank you guys for popping in We'll see you next time

Get the fuck out of here Nigger When y'all nigger stop acting like bitches bitches, we can all clock figures. For shizzle. On y'all bitches stop acting like niggas, niggas stop acting like bitches

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