The Snark Tank - #228: Drayne 'The P*ss' Johnson

Episode Date: May 6, 2024

The Rock is gross and Sween is missingjoin us on patreon!https://www.patreon.com/TheSnarkTank

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To learn more about Jardians 10 or 25 milligram tablets, ask your doctor, visit Jardians.com or call 1-88-968-664-8. Allergy season always sneaks up on you. One minute, you're listening to your favorite podcast. The next, it's non-stop sneezing and a runny nose. Don't worry. Kleenex ultra-soft tissues have your back and your face. They're allergist approved and silky soft to help prevent skin irritation

so you can stay comfortable all season long. Don't let allergies interrupt your flow. Be ready with Kleenex Ultrasoft tissues. For whatever happens next, grab Kleenex. I want to show you a brand new color way for the Rock Delta training shoes. This is called Desert Sand. It's a badass color. Never seen before on the market in a training shoe.

And I just realized you also, you just saw my big bottle of a pee. Look, I go hardcore when I train. I don't have time to go to the bathroom. I find a bottle. I pee in it, and I keep training like a beast. Hey, hey, what's up? Welcome to the Star Trek Tagic. I was going to go off on a real diatribe, and I realized, like, wait a minute, I can't do that.

It's the top of the show. We got to wait at least, we got to wait at least for the AI algorithm to become disinterested in what we're saying that way we can go hard on the paint deeper into the video. I think that's like a real thing, right? I don't know. It is a real thing, but it doesn't matter for it. It's just nothing matters.

The algorithm is so against us right now. Oh yeah. There's hilarious. We have no algorithmic support whatsoever to the point where it's like I am consistently astonished that we're successful at this at all

because the algorithm really does not if the algorithm was a person it would have put a hit out on us I think by now like there's a deep deep disdain but regardless welcome to the Snark Tank podcast

Sweeney is gone Sweeney was unfortunately he was taken his monthly walk and a van pulled up to his house and said, hey, I got some comic books inside and some funco pops. And the way that it's, the way that it shows up on the security camera footage that I saw was he said, no fooling.

And then he waddled up to it. And then they grabbed him. And we haven't heard of him since. I'm sure things are going to be fine. Like, I don't know. I'm not really that worried about him. Yeah, but it was crazy in the surveillance footage how they grabbed him. Like, they whisked him away.

like he was a five-year-old boy. Like, they, like, grabbed his hand and he just, like, got sucked into the van. It was pretty insane. Yeah. Like, I don't know who was in there. The fact that it was such a small hand, too. And the fact that it lifted him with almost no, no effort, no struggle. It was as if he was completely weightless.

It's really disturbing footage. Maybe we'll put that out for patrons. Yeah, that would be pretty good, yes. Patreon.com slash snarktang. Yeah. Patreon.com. Yeah. Patreon.com slash the snark tank.

Go there to obviously support our show, get early access, all that, all that jazz, ask questions that we will answer on the show. So exciting news, the merch store, snarktank. dot shop, is officially, it exists, and it is open for, at the time that we are recording this, it is open for. for patrons. Now, there's, it's $5 and up for a reason. We're doing like pretty heavy discounts on that stuff for early access and we just kind of

figure like, we got to lock you guys in to get some of this early access. But there's a lot of cool designs there. Some of them will be, some of them are temporary. They are limited edition designs. We're testing some stuff out trying to see like what people gravitate towards what people want.

But snarktank. Shop, it is open. there is a password that we will send out to all patrons. Well, by the time you're hearing this, it'll be out on the Patreon already. But there's a password for it, and you guys will get that. And it'll be open for everybody on the 17th of May, and that's when it'll go live for absolutely everybody. And maybe that'll change. Maybe it'll go live earlier.

Who knows? We're really kind of feeling this stuff out. First merch operation. So we're just trying things out. A little late. A little late. Yeah, yeah. We've been a podcast for like consistently for like four years.

Well, we needed the time to build material so that we would have stuff to put on shirts. Oh, yeah? Because we did have one. Yeah, yeah. We did have one little drop a while ago, but it was just kind of design. Like, I actually like those designs, but like they were just kind of, you know, they were just interesting designs that were kind of like. loosely associated with us. We've got some really exciting stuff on StarTank.shop that I'm really pumped about.

I threw together some quick designs. There are obviously some designs are drawn by artists from the community. I know Beanie Linguini has some stuff up there. And that's pretty exciting. But I think the hoodie with Sweeney's gross face on it with the scumbag supreme logo underneath it is is probably going to be a big one there's a I love when I came together I love that came I was at the at the credits or something I think I was like at the end of the show yeah yeah it was it was it was in my mind so much that I was like I have to

make this and so it's up there we got a logo hoodie we've got a gay station 3T we got the the on cap no god hat we've got some other stuff some dumb shit. There's a bryl shirt up there just for my own amusement, but that'll be gone when it launches for everybody. Nobody wants that fucking creature. But we're excited about it. So remember, snarktank.shop. And yeah, we'll see you there. Remember, if you want to get early access, it's $5.5.5 and up. And then you get the password and all that. But yeah, that'll be it. What's in the news? The Rock apparently... A couple of rock things, really.

There's a few rock-related, related incidents. What the fuck is going on with him? Somebody chose, I don't know, somebody chose violence. Somebody woke up and was like, you know what, fuck the rock. I'm going to put this out. Because I feel like this must have been known for a very long time, but apparently he's somewhat of a menace on set when he's filming movies. Yeah.

There was one thing they were talking about him being late on the set of, I think it was called Red Arrow or some bullshit, some Netflix thing. Sounds like Sweeney. He was Yeah, he was so late though that it cost the set, it cost the movie. It was like tens of millions.

I think it was like $40 or $50 million of that they were because he was late for like an entire like more than half a day of filming because they'll film long days like 12 hours, sometimes even longer. And he was gone. He was missing for more than half the day.

Who knows what the fuck he was doing? He was probably in his stupid. Do you know this motherfucker flies gyms with him? When he goes wherever he's filming, he has gyms manufactured, like a big tent, makeshift tent thing that has air conditioning and thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of weights that. You don't need that while you're doing. That's crazy.

He's like, he's like the Olympics where they like build a stadium for him. And then he goes there for like three minutes and then leaves. And then there's like this empty fucking stadium. That's ruining the economy of the village or the city that it's in. That's fucking awesome. There's, yeah, I don't know. Somebody just leaked all this information. Apparently he is late, but apparently he just like pisses in bottles.

I heard it like just in front of people. But I don't know how accurate that is. To save time. When you think about that, think about that actually. How much time? I feel the same way about traffic. When you see some pieces of shit like just zipping through, like they can't wait like 10 seconds to like make their turn or whatever.

They have to hurry up and turn before you pass or some shit. And I'm like, you risking your life. Was that worth the three seconds you gained going home? Like in this in the same fucking way. The fucking rock. Yeah, yeah. The rug pissing in a bottle. What is that true?

truly accomplished. I think he just really wants to just show people his penis and then just pissing up. Like, what, what other? What does that really accomplish? Him not stepping away for fucking a few minutes to the bathroom go piss. Yeah, I think he, uh, I don't know. Maybe he's, the idea, I don't know. I, have I ever put, I must have pissed in a bottle at least once.

But like, this is not like a, that's not like a common occurrence, if anything. I think I did it once on the trip when I was driving, when me and Jalen were driving to, like to L.A. from New York. And there was just nowhere. There's just nowhere. I think it was like a traffic. I was like, this is, this is, this needs to stop. But the idea that he makes like a habit of this and that people have like watched him do it is crazy. That's so, that's so insane.

It doesn't. I was just trying to think of like, okay, why game. gamers do it, right? Gamers do it usually because they're in these long-ass sessions or whatever and they're lazy fucks. Obviously, it's all lazyness. That's crazy too. That's crazy too. It's definitely crazy, but at least I understand a, I'm not condoning it.

I'm just saying I understand a purpose where like, say usually those motherfuckers in a long session of like fucking StarCraft, whatever it is. And they're like, I can't leave or I'm going to die. And so they piss in a bottle. When you're on a movie, can cut at any moment, at any moment, cut, like, take five. And, like, it doesn't make any sense. I don't get that.

It doesn't make any sense, especially because he's late to all this shit. So if he's, like, always late, but he's, like, pissing. Like, you're not offsetting the time that you're, like, oh, you're five hours late. You're, oh, you're five hours late to a shoot. So, like, let me just piss in a bottle. It's like, no, just at the very least, like, take the five, take the three minutes to go piss and not do it. front of like seven interns in a tent like it's so crazy you know what i also love about that so clearly

since he's he's pissing in a bottle he's not shaking well he's not like you know you got to really give your your your your dick a few good shakes you got to like if you don't want to get like a bunch of drip all over yourself or all over your fucking box you have to you have to you got you got to you got you got to ring it out you got to give it a good tug yeah you got to really you got to really get it out there. And him, he's pissing in a bottle. You know there's this piss dripping on his dick and he puts it right back into his

costume, whatever he's wearing. And now he ruined his costume. And then he needs to change anyway. He's probably like, you got caught, rock. You got a little bit of peepy drip. And he's like, oh, sorry, sorry about that. And then he just gets naked in front of everyone. He changes in front of everyone.

He doesn't even go back to wardrobe. He's like, bring wardrobe here. There's no time. There's no time. And he's, he's still pissing as he's changing. Do you think he, like, mashes it in the hole of the bottle? Do you think he, like... Yeah, he doesn't...

He's fucking... I've always... Dude, some people surprise me with their... Just how stupid they are. When they're like, I don't understand how you pissing... Like, you know, a regular soda bottle has, like, a small hole. Or, like, a water bottle or anything. Intensely small, yeah.

Like a... Yeah, it's really small. It's ridiculous. motherfuckers are like, I don't understand how you pissing that thing. I'm like, wait, are you trying to shove your penis in the hole and not just put your head up to it? You put the tip of your head up to it so then you just piss in the thing. And when people are talking about like it being too small, I'm like, what are you doing? Are you trying to shove your dick in the hole?

I don't get it. Like people are like, wait, but then I might spill. I guess that's their logic of like they got to get their penis into it. because I've heard that a few times of people saying it was too small and I'm like I wait yeah you're not mashing it in there your piss stream is so wide like a fire hose and they just I don't understand that logic of thinking completely escapes me oh man I I want to be on the I want to be I want to be on the South of the Rock I got to see what that's like I got to experience. I want to be a background actor

and just see how he operates. I wonder if he's one of the people that you can't look him in the eye because I always thought that was fake. But I've heard enough stories. Like the whole thing, you can't look people in the eyes, directly in the eyes. Like, usually the main talent. Really? I vote. Yeah, so I thought

that was just a trope. But I've heard enough stories. Steve Harvey, Ellen DeGeneres, like you'll hear this as a trope in movies they'll be like don't look don't look so and so in the eye and I always thought like oh that's just that's just a trope you know like you can't but apparently

there's been enough people like assistants extras people that have done multiple things PAs that are like oh you can't if you're lesser then you can't directly address them you can't stare at them like what do you mean how does that even work Yeah

Apparently somebody got fired Oh somebody got fired For doing what? A security guard got fired on the set I think it was a set of Fuck I can't remember what set I think it was one of the Fuck I'm gonna mess this up

So I'm not even gonna say what it was Just just yeah yeah I just remember a story That a security guard Who is supposed to Who's guarding the main star's trailer The star was coming back to the trailer and the security guard just said hi because it's weird to not look

at somebody while they're passing by. It's just like unless you're going somewhere, you're not really staying at people, but you're standing there and someone's coming in your direction. You look at them. And so he did that. Go ahead. Apparently that's a very American thing. Did you know that? I didn't know that. That was like an American thing to like when, apparently like when it's an easy sign like it's an easy tell when americans are in other countries because like when they walk past people on the street they give them like a like a like a like a like a a nod like a yeah like a nod of um yeah just like uh acknowledgement and it's like don't do that nobody nobody else does that which i thought is so strange i don't see anything wrong with that um yeah because it it's it's literally just a second of

it's usually literally just a right and then I'm never going to see this person again probably or like I don't have a problem with that it's if some motherfucker tries to actually put a sentence out then that's when I usually get annoyed like if they actually say something like how you doing or something and I'm like I wasn't expecting that and I'll usually say something stupid or I'll say the exact same thing because I'm just caught off guard and I'm like how are you doing I'm like how are you doing and I'm just like oh fuck I just ask another question to this question just like nigga don't say anything just yeah it'll be like How are you doing? I'll be like, it's like, how are you doing? And I'll be like, you too. At Arizona State University, we're bringing world-class education from our globally acclaimed faculty to you. Earn your degree from the nation's most innovative university online. That's a degree better. Learn more at asuonline.asu.org.org.

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I'm like, ah, fuck. I'm fucking ruining that and I'll want to kill myself. I've definitely done that to like postmates people or like when I get like food. order it's like I enjoy it and I'm like you too and I'm like you too like fuck you too it's like it's your responsibility to not trap me like that say something different I agree I agree yeah it's don't say that to me I'm not thinking about this interaction this is like this is a necessity to get to where I need to get which is like in possession of my food but yeah like I don't know like I think that must be like a real thing like where people's like oh yeah you can't look at

At the very least, it's a trope for a reason. You know what I mean? Because it exists on some level. I don't know how intense it is. I don't know. I'm sure. I doubt that was the case on like the fucking Pop-Tart movie that Jerry Seinfeld did. Like, I don't think that was a very serious environment at all.

But I would wager that like, yeah, if you're doing like a Marvel movie or something, it's like, yeah, don't look at Chris Pratt. It's distracting. Did that be crazy? Did you see that thing about how he tore him? down like a historic landmark? He did that? No.

So he and his wife apparently, like, look, I don't, I could be spreading lies right now, but like, whatever. Like, I saw, I saw this on TikTok, whatever. I'm going to spread it. If it's misinformation, let me know. I can't be fucked. But I'm pretty sure there was a story about, like, him and his wife buying a, buying, like, this old mansion. And it was apparently, like, a very historic, like, it was like something about, it was like very historically significant.

Like it was the first example of like modern architecture of like like modern luxury architecture in like the 50s or something. And they tore it down to build their own mansion and like the community is like pissed about it because like that was like a relic. It was like the only little standing relic of like that time and they just tore it the fuck down. That sounds right. That sounds totally believable.

That totally sounds like some rich fuck that just doesn't give a shit about history. And from the little bit that I know about Chris Pratt Extremely religious weirdo He's in one of those sects of There was it called, was it called Hill Song? I think it was Hillsong church or Hillcrest I think it's Hillcrest. That's crazy.

That sounds like a cult. It is. It 100% is. There was this church that started in Australia called I'm pretty sure it's called Hill Song if I'm not even looking it up. I'm too lazy. But I'm pretty sure it's Hill Song. And Hill Song was, you know, of course,

a cult church and they obviously molested their members because of course because of course and then so there was an offshoot that started in America I can't remember what it's called but Chris Pratt's a part of it

at least he was at the time I was looking this up Justin Bieber a bunch of celebrity it was like all the celebrities were joining this cult fucking offshoot of that church of the founder who molested one of

or straight of raped one of the members I think he went to prison for it and then like the fucking son took over and just kind of swept it under the rug because you know they're all scumbags and so you know it's it's pretty cool it's pretty cool to I don't really know how you get into cults nowadays

I've been thinking about that I'm thinking about like yeah it doesn't really make sense to me I tried I was thinking about maybe trying to start one, but I wouldn't even know where to go about it. But you know what's weird about that, though? I feel like at the same time, I know what you're saying where it's like where'd you even go to get into a cult. But at the same time, there's part of me that also feels like it's probably very, very easy to start one. Yeah, it is.

You know, I would, it's a paradoxical. You and I have enough influence over the internet to start a cult. even if like some people thought it was a joke at first. Say for example, right now with the, that the gay parody shit that I've been leading into more, I could be like, oh, I'm going to start a fucking gay parody organization.

I can, you know, just say it's something. And then it just gets more serious and more serious over time. Like me and my friend, we talked about, oh, making the first church of Batman and making a bat Bible and all this stuff. and then we were talking about like if we did this people will literally join and then we can have them drink poison

coolade at the end like it's a thing that you can actually do and it's fucking stupid I think I think between the between you and I and I maybe even sweetie I think we could get at least 10 people you know what I mean at least 10 and I'm saying like 10 like devout like like I'm talking about 10 like devout like really like

you do our biddy this is my entire, yeah, yeah, this is my entire life. And that's really kind of all you need, really. You know what I mean? Like, if you get like 10 people of like even remotely, slightly wealthy stuff, like, let's say you'd be like, all right, this costs like, we're going to need donations for our church. And we need like, you know, 500 from each of you every single month. Even if you have 10 people doing that, that's, that's pretty good. That's not bad money, you know. It really does not take a lot to, or it doesn't, take a lot to get a lot, I guess, is what I'm saying.

It doesn't, man. And I just, I guess I understand. Obviously, it made sense back in the day. Colts made sense how it would happen. You had a lack of information. There's nothing. You didn't have access to anything. So you just had to trust what people were telling you.

Some charismatic fuck comes along and says they have all the answers. And you're like, you know what? I trust this person. Now it's like, with this thing. I feel like it's so easy to just not I don't understand the people have theorized and I want to get your take on it

people have theorized that humans were engineered right like say some gay aliens came along at some point and like fuck with some monkeys or some apes or whatever and engineered us to be brilliant but also retarded

like super subservient like a complete oxymoron like a thing that should not exist to were we can build these amazing fucking skyscrapers and do all this crazy stuff with like architecture quantum computing and all this stuff but then at the same time be like that fucking colt seems pretty cool or like this orange fucking douchebag this guy's gonna save us like this is like yeah yeah you get to an offset we're like huh right now with ram truck's declaration of deals well qualified current fca lessees get a low mileage lease on the 2026 ram 1500 big horn crew cab four by four for 36 nine a month for six six six six six nine a month for 39 months with 4,099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, no security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM, 5722 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply.

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Yeah, because like the most... Yeah, because like the most retarded aunt is still... not that far off from the most intelligent one you'd imagine. You know what I mean? It's probably like maybe the divide between the two is so so slim as to mean nothing at all. Like you would really not be able to be like, oh, that aunt is so much smarter than that other one. It's like, what is it really doing to demonstrate that? But with a person, it's like noticeable where it's like, and even like within the same person.

Because they'll be like, oh, we talked about it before on the show. It's like, oh, like Isaac Newton's like, like this. brilliant, like, oh, invented calculus or whatever. And then, like, he's, like, gargling mercury before he goes to sleep because he thinks he's going to become gold or something. Like, it's fucking, it's fucking insane. But, like, yeah, I don't, I don't know. I've, I've talked about, like, my thought of, like, how there's, like, a limited, almost, like, cloud storage of human intelligence and the more, the more people there are, like, the less bandwidth it has.

But, yeah. I don't know, man. It's all, it's all fucking crazy. It is crazy. I think I feel like, I guess when it comes to programming, right, you're programming a computer even as just like a virtual intelligence or something and not like fully self-aware. And you have to, I feel like you program it one way and it can't hold this type of cognitive

dissonance because it's been programmed. It's like, I can't hold these two certain views because they're completely contradictory. And like, great. And I feel like people, you know, they are technically programmed. in a way. And they've been thinking one way for a very long time, but I don't understand. Like, I was just, I was literally thinking about this, this morning.

For whatever reason, I was thinking, I saw this interview a while ago and it sticks with me where there's this street interviewer guy, he's interviewing a Midwestern farmer. And this Midwestern farmer is basically saying how much Trump is like him.

He's one of us. And I really, I'm like, I really like, I'm like, hold on a second. Like I really want to examine this because this motherfucker is dirty, grimy, you know, he's never had a handout. Like he's fucking,

he's worked all of his life to maintain his farm. And I'm like, how could you possibly believe this? Like, I really, I really, like, it's one of those things

we almost want to take a shovel and hit the guy because you're like, you're useless. You're useless. You're useless human being. It's almost like, oh,

but maybe this will be like a factory reset. If you think about it in the terms of computers, I almost look at not even necessarily those people specifically, but like generally people who, I think most people hold contradictory beliefs on some level. Like whether they, but there's, there are people where it's like, it is so fundamental that like it's kind of shocking that they can persist. And I almost look at it as like, you know how like when a game or like a computer system is coded incorrect? and then two things contradict with each other and then there's like an error

and then the thing crashes and dies. I feel like what you're looking at, I feel like what you're looking at is a sentient crash almost. Because people don't need to be logical to survive necessarily. All they need is food, water, and environment.

So like they're not, they don't need logical consistency to stay alive. But like when that does happen, when that feedback loop happens, and then the game, game crashes, the person continues. And then they continue to crash.

It's almost like a domino thing where it's like crash, crash, crash, crash, crash. And then before you know it, it's like, yeah, yeah, I believe in, I believe in the core principles of America and American exceptionalism, but also, yeah, I don't mind that this guy wants to be a dictator and that he said it. And it's like, well. Yeah, you said it? You know, it's, that's, you're looking at, you're looking at, you know, a, you know, a glitch basically.

Yeah. And it's interesting. You ever see, there's something about Mary? Do you ever see that movie? I think so, like a long time. I've only seen it once. Yeah, it's super old.

I think it's a Fairly Brother movies with Ben Stiller and Keith David. 1888? Yeah, yeah, I know this. 1980, oh, 98, yeah, sorry. Yeah, okay. I was like, dude, don't fucking, if you, if you're like, no, it's definitely,

I would have probably melted because I'm like, there's no way. Did you, oh my fucking God. Did you see that, by the way, sorry, did you see that they're making a fucking sausage party TV show? Who asked for that? Yeah. That's exactly what my first thought was like, who the fuck? What did we do to deserve this? But like, yeah, it's, there's a, that's a real thing.

It's apparently coming to, what is this first poster for it? It's sausage party sequel series on prime video. Well, they can all be hits. Just when I was, like, giving fucking Amazon so many flowers. I'm like, dude, Amazon's been killing it. And then they're like, hey, sausage party. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I ain't watching that, though. I hope they continue the tradition of screwing over their animators that the movie that the movie had. Do you remember that, that whole thing, how they, like, just didn't pay their animators at all? Yeah, that's something. That's such a shocker when, like, you know, they have all the money in the world. That's such an abusive thing too because it's like, hey, go animate this movie.

Yeah. That is like go do this movie that sucks, right? You have to spend hours and hours watching like hot dogs pretend to be penises. And then you have to make that a reality. You have to spend hours texturing this thing and like hooking it up to like a rig and then like make it's like, oh man, I'm spending hours and hours and weeks. and weeks and days and days animating this fucking hot dog. That's clearly a dick joke the entire time. And then on top of making me animate this,

you're just going to fuck me over financially as well. That is crazy. It sounds about right. It's just, it's so disgusting because like these, obviously these studios, the producers that are funding everything, blah, blah, blah. They have so much fucking money. Like they can, like they can, they can.

can shell out the money easily. They just choose not to because they're absolute fucking dirt bags. And, you know, I actually just watch something. This popped up on my screen because there's drama with this one YouTuber. I didn't know what the fuck it was about. I just wanted to know

it was about. There's this guy that I like this guy. His name's Rich from Review Tech USA. I don't have a problem with him. Oh, yeah. But there's some drama with him and his editor or something. And I'm like, what the fuck's going on? I try to understand it. And because of that, algorithm some stuff about him has popped up on my my feed and it was this one drama that I loved so

much it was I was him back in 2014 it was him versus this guy named big cheese it was just out it had to do with like $200 dude it's it's it's long story short um this guy there's a guy of big cheese gaming he was like hey um can you uh I'll send you I'll send you a laptop a PC and stuff and in exchange is advertised on my channel. Okay, cool, cool, cool. But Rich doesn't go through it. And then it's like, sends another PC and he's like, all right, let's just extend it. Let's actually go through it.

And then on top of that, I just need $200. And it was just $200. Now, keep in mind, Rich was making a lot of money. His channel's doing very well. But the whole thing about this, it was just like, it was astounding. Me kind of remembering this whole thing where it was this huge drama over $200 that I was like bro you can easily pay him like please just pay this fucking man and be done with this in the same vein as i think about like oh here's these animators they they did their thing

pay them you have the money to do it easily so much money is going to be spent on advertising and all this shit that's going to cost infinitely more than what you owe these motherfuckers and then you just like nah i'm good you get here here's some crumbs there you go. And I'm just like, what, what possesses people to do this when, especially when you have like, imagine you're fucking rich, dude. Imagine you're rich. And then, um, like, you taught, you mentioned Beanie linguine. And really, yeah, here's a, here's a, here's a free t-shirt and your 10 bucks for your fucking art. You know what I mean? You're like, yeah, it's so crazy. But you can, you can, you can, I know you can afford it. Please pay me. Nah. It's all right.

And I'm just like, it's okay. And I'm like, why are these people? I don't mean this by rich, but I just say, the people, the, the, the, the express the exact. Why, why is angry mob justice not more of a thing? It is crazy. At this point, I'm like, come on, man. Yeah, I don't know. It's all, it's all fucking disaster.

Whatever. I want, yeah. Whatever. So we got, so we got Saucers party coming. we got Pop-Tarts coming which I still am a little disappointed that the Pop-Tart movie is not in an animated movie like in the B-movie

I'm still mad about that I'm still I was like what the fuck man I was looking forward to seeing something like that and not just Jerry Seinfeld standing around and being like Pop-Tarts Pop-Tarts What's the deal?

And then Michael Richards throwing Pop-Tarts of black people Yeah, yeah, he's freezing. He's throwing them like fucking destructo discs. He's like, he's sawing people in half. He's actually like the final boss of the movie is Michael Richards at the laugh factory, throwing Pop Tarts at Black people and divisecting them. Sawing them in half.

Yeah, that's his revenge. His revenge after having, after being humiliated. Back in the day, we used to throw Pop Tarts at you people. Back in the day. Back of the day, Kellogg's would have had you on a spike outside of the offices. What's the big deal? Kramer, no. You can't vivisects black people with Pop-Tarts.

What are you doing? No! Beem, boom, boom. It just transitions away. Let's, hold on. Yeah, this is, all right, so this is the Seinfeld. This is a signfeld. episode it opens it opens right right now with ram trucks declaration of deals well qualified

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he's in the middle of it. He's already like killing. He's, he's throwing these pop tarts with such insane. Like, they're breaking the sound barrier. There's like, there's pockets of light emanating behind them.

At just in audio, he's in Atlanta. And he's doing a set in Atlanta and he's just throwing, he's throwing pop tarts of black people. And he's, he's shut every word out of his, there's, There's no coherent sentence out of his mouth that isn't laden with slurs.

And it's like really old school. Like it's not even just the N-word. It's like... Yeah, he's called like moon crickets and like all this crazy-ass old shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's just like he has he has a big, like the fallout duffel bag full of them. And he's like, he's throwing him. He's throwing them.

And Jerry Seinfeld is in the back like, Kramer! Stop it! You're ruined. We got to protect our syndication. What are you doing? And it cuts to George. Yeah. In the audience.

And he's like, Jerry. Get me out of here, Jerry. Get me out of here, Jerry. It's dark. You might think I'm black. Get me out of here, Jerry. He might be scared. He's like the only white person in the room.

But it's dark so it doesn't matter. He's just, he's, he's, Kramer's aiming indiscriminately. Because that's his MO. And George is scared. He's panicking. He's pissing his pants. His pants are soaked.

He's like, help me, Jerry, help me. Get me out of here, Jerry. I can't help you. I don't know, man. I'm scared. Is Elaine there? What is she doing?

No, she was, she's smart enough to cut ties with these people years ago. She left. She's too smart for that. But, yeah, I don't know, man. I am curious. That movie's so... That Pop-Tart movie is so strange

because, like, it's got like Melissa McCarthy and, like, Amy Schumer in it and I don't really like them. At all. But the idea that they even made this movie in the first place is so... Like, I don't know if the movie's going to be funny,

but it's funny that that movie exists. Because apparently Kellogg's didn't even know that they were doing it. Like, Jerry Seinfeldon was just like, yeah, well, they like, they like forged a legal letter from their lawyer saying that, like, yeah, it's probably fine.

And then they just made the movie and then, like, Like at some point and then at some point they were like, oh, you're making this movie? And it's like, oh, okay. I mean, I guess it's like, I guess it's free advertising. So I guess we'll like, I guess we'll help you promote it. But like, what the fuck? You don't want to take on Seinfeld either.

Yeah. You might, you might have the sick Michael Richards on them, you know, this fucking clean some shit up if they didn't, if they didn't get their way. So maybe that was the threat. No matter what. That was, that was the threat. It's like, listen, you can let us make this movie or we'll have Michael Richards go on the Laugh Factory again with a Pop-Tart and shout the most...

Do you remember how... Do you remember Kanye West with a Yoohoo? It's like... It's like that where it's like we're going to... If you don't let us do this, we're going to give you like some of the worst brand recognition you've ever had in your entire life. So just it's best for you to just comply with us here.

Please. For the good of everything. You don't want to... You don't want what's coming. You don't want this. promise you. I mean, I would agree. I would be like, oh, yeah, I really don't want that.

I fucking do it. Make a stupid fucking pop-tart movie. What was the last time you had a Pop-Tart? Like, genuinely? Maybe two, three years ago I bought fake Pop-Tarts. Like, Walmart brand. You know, it's just great value Pop-Tarts. You know what I mean?

Because I just wanted some, I'm not really a breakfast person, but I was, like, I only ate breakfast. when I needed it. I used to, I used to old job I had, I used to ride my bike 18 miles round trip and I needed, you know, calories to work and sustain myself.

So I would eat, usually cliff bars or whatever. But I was just kind of, you know what, dude, I miss, I miss that bullshit. And I didn't want to spend the money for Pop-Tard, so I just got the fake shit.

But it's just, first of all, I don't, did you ever warm them up? Did you ever put them, in the like, yeah. I actually did it.

I would put them in the toaster oven. Sometimes I wouldn't. But like sometimes like if I felt like I just kind of wanted like yeah, I kind of want like a hot thing today or like right now. Like I'll put them in the, I never had a toaster. We always had a toaster oven. But like, oh. Because they're like a toaster so big.

I think maybe like when I was like really like maybe when I was like five. But I think at a certain point there were like a toaster so big and so specific in its utility that like it. It just makes more sense to have a toaster oven that, like, does the same thing, but does more, taking up that same amount of counter space. You know what I mean? That's kind of how I felt when I was, like, furnishing my own apartment where I was like, I'm not going to get a toaster that's going to take up, like, a sizable amount of counter space

when I can get a toaster oven that does, like, everything a toaster does end, like, everything else also. You know what I mean? I mean, there's some pretty small toasters, man, that just like, because you really only put in, like, two pieces of bread than the toaster. But I get it. I get it does the same utility. the out it does the same it's more about the outlet space because there's only like a limited amount because i'm not going to pull the stove out you know what i mean so there's only like there's

there's only like one i have one outlet in my kitchen or like well two i guess specifically but like one like one little section i know what you mean right so it's like i'm not gonna i'm not gonna waste one of these on a on a waste it with the toaster i mean you can't just you can't just unplug it i i guess i could But that's the thing. It's like I have a limited, like, I'm already doing that as it is because I have the toaster oven and then I have my coffee maker. And then I have like, what is it? Well, I guess I bring certain things out, like rice cookers when I need it or whatever. And it's just like, it's another appliance.

And I'm like, I don't, I don't know, man. I don't need this. Yeah. Dude, I'm fucking, speaking of that, I'm, this is the amount of, man, California, bro. So I've been in, I've been in, I've been in, I've been in Vegas for since 2021, September 2021 and I made the mistake. I don't know if I said this on the podcast or if I've just said this off, talking to other people.

But I've been looking for apartments, trying to move back by June. Jojo, she's going to go fuck off back to her country for a while and go hang out while I figure all this bullshit out. Oh, really? And yeah. So it's because really, Because the thing, I drive her to work and I need to leave.

I need to go to California and I need to go be there to, my main concern is not getting fucked a place. And I think I might have said this on the podcast before. I just can't deal with some roach-infested apartment. I need to scope it out and see if there's any signs of that shit. Anyway. So I've been like, there isn't that many apartments available that are reasonable. priced and reasonably prices in fucking quotations already because I I just out of curiosity started

looking at apartments over in Vegas and I was so upset the first day I did that I actually got dizzy because there was a brand new like just whole brand new apartments three bedroom fucking 700 just 1700 three bedrooms fucking gym every I was just like it made it And then there's houses for similar prices too like that. And I was just like, it just made me busy. It really is. I was so,

there's a part of me that I'm like, all right, I have to make like twice as much to justify moving back to California. Really? Like, so basically meaning I have to grind because otherwise it just pissed me off so much. And I'm like,

what am I doing to myself? I know the whole point or the whole purpose. is like, oh, let's do it. Let's get the podcast. We're going to record in a person. Let's try to vamp things up. But I'm also like, all right. I'm for there, you can barely find, you can barely, like, for 1700, you can, there's a couple of one

bedroom apartments, but it's mostly you, that's studio numbers. That studio apartment, you know, no bedroom. And I'm just like, that. It's crazy. God. It makes no goddamn sense. It's so crazy. Like the good thing, I mean, the good thing about because of like where we, like what our job is, we write off, we can write off a lot of that rent, thankfully.

Right. But like, it's still, you still have to pay it, you know. It's like, yeah, it's, it's truly, I'm really astounded that things have not collapsed because they keep, they keep building new apartment buildings, right? But they're all like luxury apartment buildings, but they're not also. You know what I mean? Like, they say their luxury apartments, but they're really just like what you would expect at a standard building. Like, the luxury apartments that exist that are being built up right now are really the same, like, ostensibly no different than the apartment that my parents had growing up. And that was not a luxury apartment.

It's just like they marketed as luxury because it's like, ooh, there's a lobby. Or like, oh, there's like air conditioning. And it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is not luxury. Like, what do you think? What do you, like, what do you think luxury is? That is so crazy. That is this fucking bullshit, man.

I, I, I truly do feel. Who the fuck is left for like, oh, one bedroom $5,000 apartment? It's like, who the fuck is buying? Who is doing well enough to justify this? Are you crazy? Bro. And I'll look at, uh, this is funny. Some of those higher-in apartments I'm looking at and they're like, they're not that good, right?

Like you're saying, I was like, Like, all right, these, this is nice, but it's not. And then you'll look at the requirements and they're like, you have to make three times monthly what the, what the monthly rent is. And they'll verify it through a paste of. And I'm like, what piece of shit making that much money would live there? If someone's making upwards of $10,000 a month, who's going to like, you would probably live in a much better place. You would probably live in a better place than like this fucking. fucking sardine

fucking area with a semi nice apartment but I'm like bro bro you gotta make $50,000 a day sorry

to afford this $3,000 bedroom like one bedroom it's like you think I'm looking for this are you stupid I'm in a penthouse

somewhere if I'm making that money like it's so it is embarrassing and quite frankly I was like I don't know man right now with

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On-Dec does not lend in North Dakota all loans and amounts subject to lender approval. I was raised to be almost like honest to a fault with this stuff where like I would tell like I would I would be like really like straight like like really accurate about my resume and like really accurate about applications and really accurate about this stuff. And then at a certain point I just started lying because like yeah none of this shit is fair anyway. So like honestly like I'm I remember when I got this apartment. because we had split the podcast up. It was easy. It was easy before when I was like all the money was coming into my account and then I would pay everybody. So like on paper like I looked really good, you know, to people when I was like looking for apartments.

It's like, oh my God, he's making like a shit ton of money for like, you know, and on top of sacred. It was just like, oh, obviously. Yeah, this guy can afford this. Right. But it wasn't accurate because I was paying all that money out like the majority of that money was going to you and Sweeney. That's hilarious. So it was like, so I remember being like, when I moved here, we weren't doing that. So I couldn't do that.

And I just remember being like, I'm going to, I'm going to fake these bank statements because like, what the fuck? What are they going to do? Like, really. Like, truthfully speaking, do they give a shit? No. They just want somebody in there that's going to pay on time and I will. Sorry.

Like, I don't. Yeah. I really don't care anymore about that. stuff. Like I will, I will lie toothed, like through a fucking, through my fucking soul to these people specifically. You have to. I could give a fuck less. You have to. Yeah. You have to. You have to, like, especially for a lot of things to get, like, uh, the best credit limits and all that. Just say you make infinitely more than you actually do. I fucking, I'll, I'll say that I make like four times what I actually make. And then so you can just get a much larger limit. Because like, I'm honest. I don't check.

Yeah. They don't, yeah. Yeah, they don't. I try to be careful with that stuff, but, like, when it's interpersonal and it's, like, in exchange for, like, a, for a physical utility that, like, your arbit-like, the gatekeeping of that is so arbitrary, like, objectively, where it's like, no, I, no, sorry, like, what the fuck? You're not going to give me this apartment that I can obviously afford because, like, you're waiting for a- Who are you waiting for to get this apartment?

Tony Stark? Right. Tony Stark's not living here, bro. There's no fucking indefinitely. unit washer. You think like a fucking, who do you think is moving in here that you've got the gall to be this exclusive about it? Jesus Christ. It's so stupid. There's, I've written off some places because of stupid shit like that where, like, I don't understand your requirements are so astronomically stupid. And again, there's a apartment right up the street from where I grew up.

And I thought it was, I was like, oh, they must have revamped this whole place because for my understanding that's where a bunch of pieces of shit always lived but um it looked nice inside so i guess they just redid everything but the asking price and then the three times the thing and like so and i'm and the skimping the skimping that they do too like i remember like the the apartment that we started the podcast in uh the one that i was living in i believe on olive in burbank that apartment I remember behind, like, there was a mold issue because Sweeney had cracked the tub. Because, of course. Like, he's a six foot.

He's because he's six foot and like, you know, however big he is. He's a big guy. So like, I don't know, he was doing jumping jacks in the tub, I guess. And then he cracked the tub and somehow didn't notice, somehow didn't notice and was taking showers and then like that got into the wall and it was like water damage and I was like hey there's fucking water damage and they're like okay we'll come fix it

they came in at 9 a.m. I left the apartment for about like three hours. I came back and it was all fixed and I was like what the fuck are you talking about and I checked and they just painted over they just painted over the black fucking wall

like they painted over the And I was like, are you fucking for real? And I was like, that was when I was like, we got to get the fuck out of here. Like, I don't trust these people even slightly. That is wild. That is fucking... I swear to you, I swear to you, a lot of these buildings are going to collapse one day because all of them are water damage in some way.

Like, and like, it's just going to be like rusted pipes and they're all just going to like fall, fall in on themselves. And that's my hope quite. frankly because oh my god the payout for that is going to be so sick of like if like if i survive from something like that like oh dude see that's the thing that's what makes me want to be on the top floor i want to be on the top floor because of that to where like oh shit collapses i have a good chance of surviving because i'm collapsing on someone instead of being collapsed on and uh so man there's the inconvenience of bringing stuff upstairs like oh fuck i got to bring

all my shit upstairs but then you know inevitably when when the foundation crumbles because because of all this shit fucking construction and poor maintenance, then, there you go. But yeah. Because 50% of the foundation is water damaged pipes, rusted metal, and roaches just masturbating all over each other

and the fucking crevices of your apartment. Yeah, it's a... Fuck. It's a rough world. It's a rough world out there. Hopefully at some point, we get enough sense. Right now with Ramtruck's declaration of deals,

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OnDec does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amount subject to lender approval. I don't know, man. I do have this fantasy of just like maybe... I hope that I live to see at some point people just finally have enough. But like, I don't know if that's ever really going... I don't know. If it's not already there, like, I really... I struggle to imagine, like, what could possibly be the thing that tips people over? Because I really don't understand what more they could do to you. I don't know how much more basic necessities they could gatekeep you out of before you're...

before you get furious enough to, like, do something crazy. I don't know. Right. It's wild. You've heard of the boiling frog theory. I feel like the frog has been thoroughly fucking cooked, man. I think they've already done everything. It's so, like, I was just talking to Jojo about this the other day saying,

hey, all of those gun-loving Second Amendment people, for example, that talk about having these guns to do. something about the terror and tyrannical government, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And every day in the fucking media, they're hearing that the government is, or tyrants and they're doing all this horrible shit and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, well, well. That was what that. That was the storming the capital thing. I just remember being like, wow, this is like the worst reason for that, like, this is something that probably should be happening.

But what a terrible reason for it. And then like for the even. Yeah. Like it's just such a wilder and then even though they were like completely even though they were pushed to that brink to do that in the first place It didn't they didn't matter anyway You know they got to the capital they stormed it and then they were like all right let's take a selfie on that Fucking Pelosi's desk and it's like really? Yeah Man only a handful of people there you know the the craziest ones took it seriously

Yeah in a way that they brought weapons and they brought things that they thought this was yeah Like, oh, this is the real thing. This is the thing that we've all been talking about doing. Oh, and most of them were just a little bit angry and then trespassed in a way that I'm like, you guys, you're all talking here. And this is the thing. I was like in a real, if the fucking National Guard came, it was those people versus the National Guard, they would surrender immediately. Immediately they would surrender.

And that's why I'm just like, these, anything can be done. Anything can be done. We're thoroughly cooked. I think propaganda is too. I don't think propaganda should work nowadays, but it works extremely well.

Anytime I'm reading the news, like the protests that are going on right now on the college campuses, if you look at, say, a lot of right-wing media, and left-wing for a lot of it, because a lot of them are kind of doing the same thing. They're saying these demonstrations are pro-Hamas.

They're saying pro-Hamas. And I'm like, this is, this, somebody should be sued for this. This should be, you can't say that. You can't, these are, these are clearly not pro Hamas demonstrations. It's so fucking stupid to say, but they can get away with it. They just, they just do. You know what's crazy too is that like we're, we're entering this point in time where there are, there's already the first logged crime of, uh, AI used to frame somebody for something. like that's that's there's like an official like log like in like it's like okay this is the first and like laws are starting to be passed because like some i can't remember i the the finer details of this will be wrong but like the general point of it is is accurate and true but like there was like some principal at like some school district somewhere who uh there was a recording going around of him saying like something about jews or something about like uh you know black students not if one of the if more african students fail or like i don't i don't know how much i could

deal with these fucking people. And like this recording going around. And it was like spread from like an employee to like a student and then from the student through the school and then from the school to social media generally. And this dude just got like harassed endlessly. And it was all it turns out it was all AI from like an employee that got fired. Like some guy just like made it in like a fucking AI studio. And now they're like they're drafting laws up for it. So like we're entering a really fucking crazy.

a wild wild time that uh I don't know it's crazy let's uh I don't know it's gonna be weird

we're getting we're getting into the realities of the world which is not fun so let's move on to some of our questions from our patrons over at patreon.com slash a snark tank remember five dollars and up and you can

ask us a question and more likely than not we'll read it try to obviously keep it keep it pithy make it a good question I do want to So there's this one thing Here

Where Wait what is this What the fuck is? Okay Mr. Hot salsa wrote He says question What Dragon Ball ability Would you like to obtain

For me it's instant transmission That is the obvious answer But Yeah I would go for solar flare I like the idea that at any moment in time I could blind someone with just my forehead Yeah just the idea of just like

Because I think you could get away with pretty much anything if you had SolarFlare. Instant Transmission 2, but it's almost like so overpower that it's the obvious answer. You know what I mean? And I don't want to be like obvious. Like yeah, clearly instant transmission is like the best, oh, I don't have to pay for travel. I never have to like spend time going anywhere. I could just be where I want to go. Obviously, that's the most useful one.

But solar flare is pretty wild. That's not bad. That's being able to eclipse people. Crazy. Just straight up blind them. Then they're probably. Probably worse than an actual flashbang. You'd probably really just, they're forever disoriented and fucked.

Oh, yeah. If it's enough to disorient, like, sell, I feel like it's probably worse than a flashbang by, like, orders of magnitude. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's pretty good. I think I would like to, I would like to do that fucking, that's probably too evil. Uh, just that death ray that fucking Friza has were just, you know, just, you know, just pierces people's hearts and shit. Just like quick little point and then it just, phew.

And then I was like, see a lively want to kill people. You imagine a lively video of that? That would be, yeah. It's just kind of chilling. I feel like it's, um, I would, what I don't know, I guess if I want to keep it more silly. I've been thinking about the spirit bomb because I think the spirit bomb could work

in the way that if you're gathering the energy especially if it's like if it's high noon and you're gathering the spirit bomb people may not notice it they may just think like oh suns you know suns fucking out it's a little bright

so they're not looking up they're just there and then you can just throw it when it's ready and catch people off guard probably I probably I'd probably Yeah

The spirit bomb is a wild I like the idea that you can build it over time too That was even in the games too Like you could like if you got enough key You could like charge it But then it would like sit in the sky And then you could you would only like Throw it when you're ready

That was that was fucking cool I the other ability that I would like Is the ability to just I like what Chautzu and the Cybermen do In the sense that like if I'm really if I'm really just done with it and I'm really having a bad day I can just choose to explode

that would be a pretty amazing ability really like to be able to suicide in that way is crazy like just to not even yeah poor I like that a lot I've thought about that's actually the way that I want to die

like if I yeah meaning like say if I live to be an old person and like I feel like my time's up I would like to explode in the most fantastical way too like you're hopefully I'm in a position where I can give a speech somewhere

for some reason we're invited to like some alumni or some valedictorian thing I get to take their spot or some shit at USC and I just I say

I just do like you know just clear my throat and then I explode and then that would be that would be amazing I would love to do it's something like that where people are like, I need a huge audience. I need a lot of people to see it. And I would love that.

Yeah, it'd be great. You could stream it. Let's go with that. Yeah, yeah. You can, whatever it's going to be, whatever streaming is going to be at some point, I want it to be like, what's going to be,

people are people actually going to implant fucking phones in their body or something? Yeah, I think so. Like some type of bullshit that were, and you're going to project things. Yeah, that's interesting. Interesting. I know some neural link guy is playing Siv 5 or Siv 6 or something. Some guy that can't use his limbs or whatever and he's controlling it with his brain or something.

What a fucking nerd. I don't believe it. What a nerd. What a dweeb. Fucking crippled little nerd. Oh, big deal. Ooh, I can fucking control things with my mind. Cool. Somebody beat him up. Yeah, especially with... Somebody beat that guy up. So you beat that guy up and take his brain. take his brain and sell it on the beat his brain on the black market beat his brain up yeah yeah yeah or the white market whatever you want you can put it in like a world market

and the world market what is the white market just like what we use is that just the market the white market is like target yeah like that's the white market to me you take the brain you put it on the shelf and label it.

You put a fucking label on it. You sell it for five bucks. I used to do that when I worked at Sears. I would put labels on like, whenever there was like something empty, whenever there was like an empty stock, like something was out and they weren't going to be stocked in for a while, I would put like some ridiculous label

with some ridiculous price and with some ridiculous item. Like I think I remember at the time, I was playing a lot of Skyrim, and so like I labeled like Sweet Roll. Right now with Ramtruck's declaration of deals. Well-qualified current FCA lessees get a low mileage lease on the 2026. Ram 1500 Big Horn crew cab four by four for 369 a month for 39 months with 4,099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, extra, no security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM 5722 for lease details. Requires dealer

contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. OnDec is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow gaps, OnDex loans up to $400,000 help make it happen fast. Rated A-plus by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five-star trust pilot reviews. OnDec delivers funding you can count on.

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I would fuck around constantly. I had to find like some way to amuse myself. And I like to imagine that Skyrim was so big at the time that at least like some customers like maybe saw that and smiled. But also, but it was Sears. So like there's kind of, there's no way. There's no way like a, there's no way college students were shopping at Sears in the hardware section. Like there's no shot. So it was just a bunch of old people being like,

sweet roll. Acts of, acts of, what is it, acts of vampirism for fucking 700 gold? What the fuck is this? Seven hundred.

Why is this out of stock? Why is this out of stock? Yeah, I don't know. But, uh, anyway. Yeah, I think,

I think I'd go with the solar flare. But the obvious answer is instant transmission. So, Mr. hot salsa, you had, you had the correct instinct. I would be a menace with that thing.

You could not contain me I would be a perfect person Because I would have all I would have all the money I want Because I would steal all the money I would I can actually go to the gym easily Because well I guess I would just have a gym in my house Because I stole the money

Really that would solve everything It would be perfect Yeah I'd have everything I want I would just Go to bank and steal all the money I wouldn't even do that What I would do is I would teleport to every home in America

And steal exactly $1 enough that they would never notice. You know, it's like, oh, a dollar's missing. But there's like, how many people, like 300 million people? And at least you have to figure at least like half of them have a dollar. So it's like $150 million? I mean, that's one way to do it. Something like that.

You could just appear in people's houses. And unfortunately, you're probably going to instant transmit into like their daughter's bedroom. And then you're going to, you know, they're going to think you're a pedophile and that's why that's why I wear a mask. That's why I wear a mask. I'm not there for any nefarious reasons. I'm not there for any nefarious reasons. I'm simply going to take a dollar.

You're not even going to notice. You're not going to notice. And you'll notice me appearing in my, in my scary get up. But I will quickly, I'll say, where's your, give me a dollar and I'll leave.

That's what I'll do. I'll dress up like a demon. And I'll be like, give me a dollar and I'll leave. And everyone will pay that money. Because I'm teleporting and there's no shot. Like, dude,

teleported into my apartment right now, like behind me right now, like dressed up like a demon and like clearly obviously teleported. I could not deny that and ask for a dollar. I think I might give it to him. If he's like, give me a dollar and I'll leave, I'll be like, yeah, I think so. Okay, that's worth it. I don't, I have questions. Yeah. Yeah. But you can't come back though. That's it. That's it. That's the one condition. Like, all right. Yeah, yeah. Sure, but you can't come back. Yeah, you can't come back. And also like I, I, yeah. Yeah. I guess that would be the problem is that you would run into people who are too intellectually curious. So you'd have somebody's like, yeah, I'll give you the dollar if you can explain what this, what is going on.

And then you'd be like, nah, not worth it. Not worth my time. Not worth my time. And then teleport, teleport over the next one. Duh. I think you should not be, go ahead. Let's not, let's not explore this. Wait, I think you should not be what?

What are you saying? No, I was just going to say, the demon thing, maybe if you, if you came in, as like a mascot, I think you would be able to 100% clear that money from everybody. Because, like, you just appear as crash bandicoot or something. I like, you know, you're just a goofy as fuck. You just show up and you're like, hey, let me, can I give a dollar? And I think more people will be like, I don't know what's happening here than being, you know, frightened and shitty themselves.

the idea of The idea of a guy Like am I taking the form of like A realistic Interpretation of like I would say I would like Or is it the mascot guy

Who's in like the commercials The actual mascot guy In the commercials Yeah Yeah that's what I meant I admit that the guy Yeah yeah And he's I'm doing my twirls

And I'm saying I'll leave if you give me a dollar Do you do it? He's fuck up there And fucking living room real quick And then leave Yeah Yeah, eat all their fruit. And then leave.

Are those peaches? Dort? Are they... They're wumpa fruits. They're made up for the game. They're wampa fruits. But I think they're like a cross between an apple and a peach, I'm pretty sure. It's like that's kind of the vibe that I always got from them.

Which in theory sounds kind of gross, but whatever. Dort snort wrote in. And by the way, Dort snort and gay. wrote in with the exact same question. I don't know if you're the same person paying for two accounts. That would be really confusing. Or if the second guy is intentionally

trying to troll you in the sense that he hopes that we read your question under his submission. I don't know exactly what's going on. But I'll read them anyway. So both of you get your question answers. Two birds of one stone, I guess. Dort snort wrote in with Gay's copy.

What's up Brothers and Chris, I guess? White, parentheses, White Devil. How do you feel about the state? of media criticism, especially in the realm of gaming. Some of my favorite games have been killed due to the internet dog pile, yet complained that nothing is innovative. Cursed Clash. I don't know what Cursed Clash means.

But media... I don't know, man. Twitter's fucked, first of all. Like, there's no meaningful discourse happening on Twitter. I don't think there ever really was, to be fair. But, like, it's especially obvious now that, like, I know that... I don't know if you've kept up with this at all, but, like, the Stellar Blade. Did you see that there's, like, a petition about Stellar Blade?

where people are signing it to uncensored it. And there's video submissions as a part of this petition. And it's people. I cannot. For a good five minutes, I thought, I have to be. This must be trolling. I know I saw a couple of troll actual video troll videos. But the real ones, the greasy fucks, the ones that, dude,

there's some dudes there that were so slow that I was like, I can't accept this as reality. Like, they're like, bring, bring back the, uh, the stellar blade censorship wrong. I'm like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, dude, I can't. My brain was, it was malfunctioning. Yeah. It,

how, dude, dude, like, come on. Did you, did you, did you see?

How have we, Like some of the, some of the video petitions or some of the video submissions on that petition site. Because apparently change that orc lets you like sign with video. Yeah. Yeah. I can't fucking. I can't fucking believe this. Like I look through the videos and I'm like, I cannot believe this.

It was, this is how fucking like, I wasn't even going to bring it up because of how like I can't believe that this is. this is where we're at right now. Like, what was it? What was it? Mainly the camel toe was one of the big ones. That was the big gripe that I saw. Like the stellar blade had like a suit. And then they removed a camel toe in one of the parts.

Because there was multiple things. I saw the compilation of things that were censored. One of the things was a camel toe. Right. And I'm like, are you really? like this really does play into what this question says like the like oh the media criticism all of this discourse to be

it's fucking I can't I can't believe it dude like do you remember Street Fighter 5 um they censored Rainbow Mika's ass because like she slaps it she slaps her ass um yeah she does I think one of her ultra fucking super arts or whatever the fuck that's called

she slaps her ass they just pan the camera up so you can't see her slap in her ass and people were slightly annoyed you know even me I was like oh it's stupid I was like it's fucking she fucking has her ass out who gives it's in PG wrestling they have their asses out

in PGWE make no mistake dude do I think it's cool that like they're just like arbitrarily like making things like slightly less sexy than they are like for for obvious censoring reasons no I think it's really lame I don't really understand I think it's like treating the audience with kid gloves for sure like I think it's lame and I don't think it's I don't think it's it makes any sense I think it's treating the audience as if they're like too immature to handle this stuff I don't think it's it's it's really it's dumb but like

the way that some of these people talk about it this is like I said this in a video a long time where when we would talk about like social justice warriors, to me, to me, it was never necessarily the social justice part of it that necessarily bothered me. Because like I have all sorts of politics that align with that. It's, it's more like this larping as if you're like a soldier on a battlefield somewhere and you're fighting like a good fight and like you're really putting yourself out there like, oh, you're like this this role that you're playing. that you're more important than you actually are, that you're like on a battlefield somewhere

and you're fighting. No, it's the warrior part of social justice warrior that always bothered me. Like this larping of like making everything so much more serious than it actually is, so much more life or death than it actually is, implying that like you're in danger for speaking out about it. I saw some guys, it's like they,

I saw some guy literally saying like they want me dead for for sharing my opinion on this. And I'm like, dude, no one, I promise. as you, no one cares to that degree. I think generally, right now with Ram Trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees,

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at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. On Deck is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow gaps, On Deck's loans up to $400,000 make it happen fast.

Rated A Plus by the Better Business Bureau, and earning thousands of five-star trust pilot reviews, On Deck delivers funding you can count on. Apply in minutes at ondeck.com. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by On Deck or Celtic. Bank. On deck does not lend in North Dakota all loans and amounts subject to lender approval. Like, artists should be able to make whatever art they want. And if they want to make like a really

explicit like hypersexual game, I think they should be able to do it. And I think censorship in that regard is is lame. But it is also so ubiquitous to the point where it's like there are, these decisions are being made behind the scenes for everything that we consume. And they have been, they've been, that's been the case for a really, really long time. Like, still. Yellow Blade isn't unique to this. It's not even necessarily, I don't even think it's like uniquely political because both sides have done this for a very, very long time. If you go back long enough, you know, not even really that far back. You see like all sorts of, like, I think originally in 2008, the six days in Fallujah video game that they were making was like really controversial

because it was a military game about like a recent military conflict. And usually that doesn't happen. Usually it's like, oh, we're going to make a World War II game like 40 years after the fact. or like we're going to make a video about a video game about World War I something in the distant past. And right wingers were freaking the fuck out about it because it was like that's really disrespectful to the people who are still alive. And it's just like, well, what the fuck? What do you? That's dumb. And they ended up not making the game.

They don't care about it. Yeah. Of course not. But like they didn't, they ended up not making the game because of that. And then obviously that happened again later on because now that it's been a long enough time, now it's like it became like a, oh, you're a grand. Then it became like a left wing criticism. Because it's like, oh, you're aggrandizing the military and you're making a game out of, out of, uh, you know, an imperialist occupation. And it's like, all of us, like, let's all of us relax.

It is lame that Stellar Blade got a little bit less sexy. But it is still so hyper. I'm playing it right now. It is still so fucking. It's extremely. It's extremely still. Like there's a nude suit in that game that's like fucking you. Yeah.

It is. wild like what you're saying um and so i don't know i i yeah i've talked i've talked at length it's no i it's not i like acknowledging just how um first of all yeah when you start off the social justice thing i think that's i think that's all the important to point out i remember somebody pointed that out to me one time way back in the day because i got lazy instead of saying social justice warrior i said social justice and somebody said well there's nothing wrong with that and I'm like yeah no you're right I should be careful with my words because of that's true yeah that will twist things because I'm like obviously social justice is fucking important you know like

like historical things and movements have happened through but it's like the civil war yeah the civil right movement is technically social justice if you if you really it is 100% so like it but yeah yeah it really is these people who like get on the internet and it was even the same back then where like it It was like, you know, oh, you know, everybody's like sexist and racist, and they're like, they're trying to fight. They're trying to fight against women in, like, people who are criticizing Anita Sarkeesian. You were labeled as like, you just hated women in the workplace. And it was just like, or you hated women or something. It's like, well, fucking, let's relax.

Let's have a real conversation about how lame this video critique series is because it really has nothing to do with the fact that she's, I'm sure, like, and granted, it was all tainted because a lot of people were just in that for that reason. That were pieces of shit, yeah. For sure. But like, I don't know, man. I think to get upset about this to the degree that you were getting upset about it, to the point where you're making videos about how like you're fighting the good fight and you're like on the front lines and using this terminology where like you're larping as a tough person. And you're not.

And it's okay that you're not. You don't have to pretend to be like not, you don't have to be like, oh, I need to be Marcus Aurelius in order for my opinion to have weight on anything. I have to be on like, I have to be like a, like a central figure in some kind of fight. And it's like, that's not what this is. And if you're fighting censorship, it goes way deeper than Stellar Blade, man. Like, there's like, or even just like the concept of like network notes or just like, I talked about it on another episode where it's like Elaine on Seinfeld was a network note. Like that's the whole reason she's on the show is the network was like, you need a female character in this.

And that was like a good thing for the show. Like, it's not necessarily that all of these are bad. I agree that it's dumb that it's happening to Stellar Blade, but it's, Like, you know, you can't possibly feel not cringe. These people have, they have no consistency. And that's the biggest problem that I've had with, especially when there was the whole anti-SJW movement, when I realized pretty quickly, pretty much at the height of it, 2016 into 2017, I started to realize within the tail end of 2017, I was like, oh, I understand what's happening now. There's a lot of people that are here that are here to Griff and they're here to be upset. And in the same way that like say the difference between the SDWs, they weren't there to grift.

They were there to complain about things that they thought was important to them. And then it was like, I disagree with you trying to censor this thing. And then in the same vein, like you had a lot of those same people that are mad about Stellar Blade, for example, and mad at the censorship of Stellar Blade. They absolutely wanted Starfield to censor the pronoun thing. Like it has nothing to do with censorship for me with them. it has to do with I want things my way and that's how it's always I started to realize that oh a lot of these people aren't here to protect art

a lot of these people are here to complain about I want things the way that they used to be I want always this I want you to not and so oh you're you're including things you're adding inclusion in the game this is bad and I'm like so now you want this censored they made a conscious decision

this studio to add this into the game and you're fucking obsessed about it and I'm like fuck you you want censorship you're a fuck you've been exposed and these people you can only get that you can only talk to them about this one on one collectively they will just be like oh no no you don't understand or they'll listen to one of their dumb ass fucking you know whatever YouTubers that are making all these

videos crying about it like that fucking fat idiot that was screaming about Starfield like that let don't listen to these people and think they're justified and I'm like no you're asking for fucking censorship asshole so be consistent if you actually care about this shit and so the Stella Blade thing it's not a big deal it's like we can all agree that it's stupid

just like I was bringing up rainbow mecca for example Rainbow Meika and the censorship was stupid but it's not a big deal it's just annoying it's like oh it's dumb right now with ram trucks declaration of deals well qualified current FCA lessees get a low mileage lease on the 2026 RAM 1500 big horn crew cab four by four for 369 a month for 39

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And then you move on. What was more stupid was how fucking Street Fighter-5 launched. That was, it was abysmal, right? Like that was the actual problem. Yeah. But like say the censorship part of it, it was just fucking annoying. Yeah, I just, I just want these people. Yeah.

You need to gauge your reactions appropriately. You know, like you're not on a battlefield somewhere. You're not in danger. You're not like trudging through blood and bones in the trenches. You know, like, and that's how they talk. Like they're revolutionaries. And it's like, listen, you can raise concerns about this. And I even think that there's a way to talk about this.

a way that's like completely reasonable where it's like this is really dumb that you're censoring this game that's already so sexual like why even bother going through the effort to even like why like why are you doing that but it's all like this it's ratched up to like 11 where it really doesn't need to be and it actually hinders your argument because it makes you all seem fucking crazy uh so it does it it was in the same it was in the same vein as like that was the whole reason why we made fun of SJWs when, oh, here's Anita Sarkeesian, this fucking grifter dumb bitch, right? Like, she's not a dumb

bitch because she was making, like, she's a dumb bitch because she was a fraud. Like, that's the whole thing where, yes, I've seen people say, oh, in hindsight, Anita Sarkeesan was right. I'm like, don't listen to fucking charlatans. Fuck this broad. Like, there are other people in the

progressive spear that have made some criticism about anti-Shtw, some of the freaks. And yeah, I've, like, they're right about certain issues and certain aspects of it where like you can see what's happening with Cellar Blade. They're like those were some of the same people. They're like freaking out about this dumb shit and it's like here's

you and I. Here's Sweeney and here's plenty of other normal people that enjoy art. Right. And we just think oh that's stupid. But that's where our criticism ends. We're like that's fucking stupid. I don't even see because who does it benefit really at the end of the day?

Mildly censoring the Stellar Blade. Who does that benefit it at the end of the day. So it's like, yeah, that's stupid. We can talk about this and have a normal discussion and not pretend like you say, we're in the fucking trenches. This is some gay ass culture war. Like, get out of here, dude. It's ridiculous. Get the fuck out of here with that shit, bro.

It's all optics and it's, and I do think, like, the, everything trying to be catchy and trying to catch your eye and, like, the outrage bait has ruined a lot of media criticism in general where, like, you just see, I remember actually that was a big thing with the fallout show where people like just misinformation spread about like what they were doing, like, oh, they're reconning

New Vegas. And it's like, they didn't do that at all. but like enough people believed it for a long time that they wrote off the show or they had like opinions about it that like did not match what the actual thing was. And people people were talking really confidently about it. And I see this a lot. And it's really annoying. I don't know what happened to make this okay. But people will talk about a movie or a game and talk really authoritatively about it. And then when asked about like what they thought of it like on a deeper level, they go like, oh, well, I haven't played it yet.

I don't know what the fuck happened. Like that was the whole thing with suicide. Squad. Do you remember that whole thing with Suicide School where I was like, I think I'm going to play this because I kind of want to know firsthand like what this is. And make no mistake, suicide squad was a mess and it was bad for a many, many reasons. But like

and people were like actively like they had a problem with me actually looking into it. Like it was viewed as like a negative thing for me to go in and actually research it on my own. Like it's like, why? Why did you do that? like it was a problem and I'm like what the fuck are we talking about this is like bare minimum

like you have to know what you're fucking talking about if you're going to criticize something are you serious that's so that is so crazy I don't know when that became okay but like that was like that hit me like a truck

where I was like you gotta be joking that this is like a controversial thing I'm doing that I'm choosing oh do you what is that I want to show you something yeah so this so you might have seen this Chris right

there's I've never heard of this creator named Josiah Rises. Yeah. So Josiah put this tweet out about Fallout, this Fallout series, says, finished Fallout this morning. I was completely engrossed with the story and surprisingly invest in all three main characters throughout. Lots of fun twist and turns.

Good character development. I truly felt like I was in Fallout world once again, nine out of ten. And somebody replied with, delete this then. And it's a fucking screenshot of him putting out a video three weeks ago prior to that tweet saying, Fallout is a disaster already Woke Hollywood ruins another franchise And I'm like, the fuck is wrong with you

And the fact that you didn't even delete it He didn't even fucking delete the fucking thing It's like the goal of these fucking people To just keep up this bullshit And feel no responsibility to take it down It's fucked man It's so fucked Yeah, I mean

Yeah That's one of the ones where it's like I do feel like it's all It's a good example of how like how unsurious a lot of this is. But, you know, at the very least, like, there, I understand the impulse to when you say that. Like, let's assume you've made a value judgment on something before you've, you've taken part in it, right? Which I'm sure everybody's done on some level, right? Let's assume that's the case. And then you see it and then it's good. There is technically a content

incentive to just kind of double down and stick to what you already said just because it's like you don't want to look like a hypocrite. So what minimal credit there is to give that guy, at least he was like, he actually turned around and be like, actually I was, uh, maybe I was wrong or whatever. Like, it's actually really good. It is still crazy to me. He didn't say that. You then, he didn't say that. Well, you're giving him manufactured credit, brother. I'm maybe I try. I would give him credit. I would give. See, the problem is he acted like that shit did not exist because that's what they do with content all the fucking time. As soon as something's exposed that they're completely demonstrably wrong,

they ignore whatever the fuck they said and jump on the new wave. And I'm like, no, no, no, I'm not giving this guy an ounce of fucking credit because he would say in that fucking response right there, damn, I was fucking wrong. This show was amazing. It's actually, all he would have to say is those

words. Like, I was completely dead wrong about this shit. And I'd be like, all right, kudos, man. But also, yeah, delete your fucking video. And there's people that do that. I have done that. I have done, I have made prejudgments of course. I have also done it in the opposite way

where I thought something was going to be awesome and it turned out to be dog shit, you know what I mean? Like it's right, right, of course. And then you just say it's, hey, I'm wrong. There is nothing wrong with being wrong. We're fucking humans. And these people won't do the most human basic fucking thing and just be like, oh yeah, I was wrong. Because for some reason, there's been a

culture of like making fun of people for getting things wrong when it's like, what are you talking about? You can't get things right all the time. It's impossible. Yeah, that's, that is also, and to be fair, like, I think that is the fault of, um, I think that is the fault of, I, I don't like using these terminologies because I find it, like, so pointless, but I do think on some level that is, um, a culture that has been fostered by, and I, I say this loosely, the left, the American, like, understanding of what that even

means, which is, like, already kind of, like, fucking nebulous and dumb and vague. but like yeah the idea that like you can't you cannot be forgiven for anything or like you must like the idea of cancel culture when it first started was like i think about like james gunn when he got fired for those joke tweets you know what i mean um when he got fired for those joke tweets from marvel and then they immediately rehired him because they were they realized how stupid it was that's an example of cancel culture i think that's not that's different than like oh somebody got outed for genuine sexual misconduct and then they're facing like public backlash for it That's just like consequences for like your actions.

That's like not what cancel culture is. But I do think that that idea of like, oh, well, you know, you can't be like there's no path to redemption. And if there is no path to redemption, people are just going to go where the love is. And that's what the grift is. That's just like, oh, well, I've already fucked up. That's Gina Carrano. You know what I mean? Where it's like, oh, well, I already fucked up.

I have no incentive to change because the people over there will never accept me as I, if I change. I'm going to go to people. who are encouraging my current behavior and love me and will clearly support me no matter what. And that's its own kind of problem in... You're definitely right about that. That is very important. I'm glad you even brought that up because

there was a reason an anti-SGW community, whatever you want to call it, sprung up. Like some people on the left refused to acknowledge their part in it. When there's an anti of anything, you have to remember it. It came up because, something exists prior.

Even like, say, when you talk about something, you know, I'm not going to get into it, but when you talk about terrorism or terrorist, they're not just movie villains that sprung up out of nowhere. Something happened to create this. And what I'm saying is this whole movement, and I'm not comparing to terror, like, there's going to be some dumb idiots that are going to say, are you comparing anti-shadmitter terrorists? No, I'm just giving an example. It has to be one to one.

I know we talked about this before, but I know there's people that are neurodivisions that are going to fucking type it. And I'm like, I have to nip it in the blood right now. But it's just, it's there, there was a reaction to how intolerant some of these fucking people were being. And it was like, yo, this is crazy because me growing up in California with my progressive friends, some of my punk friends and stuff, they were not like this. And it was like, what is this new wave of you cannot be redeemed? The whole idea was you wanted people to better themselves and you would accept them. You wanted a racist to renounce their racism and join normies and be a part of society.

and not hate people instead of being like no you were once a nazi fuck you forever it's like what what are you talking about he he did the thing you wanted them to do right yeah exactly and look i'll joke about that too it's like sometimes i will make fun of people who have like who who are like oh yeah i used to be a nazi and now i'm not like there is look it's funny on some level to me but there is like yeah dude like it's a it's a it's such an inherently left yeah of course but like there's inherently it's such an inherently left left leaning principle to believe in the concept of red that's the entire point of like the left wing perspective on the prison system is that like oh it's a rehabilitation it's a system for rehabilitation not just for like abject punishment but like the way that we the way that it's almost like a complete flip of ideologies where it's like the the republicans apparently you know there's like oh man well what the hell like come on like let like I mean it's all pretend, let's be real. But like, oh yeah, let's like, let people, what people can't change, people can't make mistakes anymore, but then they'll be like, oh, you're in prison, you're,

you're a slave and you deserve it. And the left people are like, oh, no, everybody should, you know, have the ability to change and be better in prison. But in culture, it's like, oh, you said a racist thing in high school, like 20 years ago on Twitter or whatever. And it's like, no, sorry. And it's just like it's it's so backwards and insane uh yeah i don't know i will say politics are inherently i will say this and we'll move on contradictory of course there are yeah i gotta say this we'll move on at the very least right now there is as far as like the left goes and left movements um for politics that less insane people are sticking around and that are more

prominent and they're they're really been preaching what exactly what you've been talking about you and I have been saying, they've been like, hey, that crazy not accepting and so-and-so and, oh, old tweets, this and that shit, that's not helping knock that shit off. That has been a thing that a lot of people, like, let's talk about some important shit. Let's talk about real progressivism. And, you know, let's not pretend like fucking the writer, you know, their fucking anti-censorship and they're all welcoming arms and everything. Like, let's put things in a perspective and not cater to the,

insane fucking people. And I've been appreciating that because they're like I've had many cops. Somebody actually jumped into my DMs recently apologizing for saying like I thought you were a chud.

I just want to apologize and I said Right now with Ram trucks declaration of deals well qualified current FCA lessees get a low mileage lease on the 2026 RAM 1500 Big Horn crew cab 4 by 4 for 369 a month for 39 months with 4,000

$2,99 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, no security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM, 5722 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. On Deck is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow gaps, On Dex loans up to $400,000 make it happened fast. Rated A plus by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five-star

trust pilot reviews. On-Dec delivers funding you can count on. Apply in minutes at on-deck.com. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by On-Dec or Celtic Bank. On-Dec does not lend in North Dakota all loans and amounts subject to lender approval. You have nothing you apologize about. There were people that I was associating with that were chuds and so I was adjacent to it. And so you're not watching and consuming that content. You made a judgment and you just assumed things. And I can't, like, I wish you wouldn't, but I also, humans are going to human. So I'm like, I totally understand why you thought this, but then when you actually started hearing me speak and you start hearing my, my thoughts and my takes and you're like,

oh, that's all you can really ask of anybody. And I'm seeing more of that acceptance of and realizing that, oh, it wasn't just this binary shit. Like, you made fun of people like crazy progressives. That must mean you're conservative. People are kind of being a little bit of. more charitable and more understanding that it's more complex than just straight up hard left versus right and I think technically things are overall in a better place

I think there's more grifters but I think that there's I think that it's less this warry gay culture shit now it's more mainstream politics right now it's more fucking we're gonna go back to talking about spoof

gay people and trans people on the right, you know, we're gonna, instead of, uh, pretending like we're, we're, I don't know, fucking arbiters of anti-centrichip or some shit. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. You gotta, and maybe it's because I,

I don't know, maybe you can relate to this, but I come from like a, more of a comedy-oriented background anyway. Like I didn't start, I didn't do YouTube to be didactic or to preach. really. I think I definitely did it early on when I felt like I had something to share, but like that went away pretty quick because I was just like, I just kind of want to make people laugh or entertain people. And so, I don't know, I just kind of always felt like my place is not here

on like some fucking cultural battleground. I remember we talked about this before, but like people were like, oh, you're like a voice for us. And it's like, don't make me a voice. I don't want to be a voice. I speak for myself. Right. And I'm totally fine to do that, but I'm not going to speak for anybody. I like, what the fuck? It's insane. Yeah, think I appreciate when you thank me for entertaining you. I drank bleach in Central Park. Like don't, what are you doing?

Like, please hire your standards. Dude, really, like really, really do. And it's like, hey, maybe nobody should be that for you. Like maybe it should be a collective of like thoughts and stuff. I'm like, there shouldn't be this like, oh, this guy's the person that's speaking for me or that's leading the charge. Like, I don't think people like that should exist. I don't think the idea of like, you know,

there needs to be like these champions. I think those people we should kill them. We should kill those people. I don't think they should exist. Probably, actually. I think anyone who like who accepts that role, I'm like, they probably shouldn't be a lie. They shouldn't be here, dude.

They're not doing it for good. Nobody wants to be. Anyone who deserves to be a champion, you know what I mean? Doesn't want to be a champion. Like it's a clean cut simple. yeah like nobody wants to be like any yeah it's just like straight up yeah we've been going on for a what yeah we should get some more i i i guess this is i guess this is more of a i like this is more of a

yeah this is more of like a chill episode uh i yeah whatever it was kind of weird before it got a little it got weird before there was just this little segment of like seriousness but there was a lot of pissed off and there's it's a normal snark tank episode I'd say it's more restrained but it's good let's see what is this what the fuck is this I haven't read this one yet but it's

it's long and I'm curious about it Uncle Magic molesting Tom Sweeney at the ripe age of 30 at his own birthday party that's fucking crazy he wrote in says evening DEI cast recently a lost song was found as a 17 second clip called Everyone Knows That was posted vaguely and not much information was given before the original poster disappeared. After three years of searching for what this song was,

it was discovered that the song came from a 1980s porno called Angels of Passion. He led the internet on a wild goose chase because he was too ashamed to admit he was jerking it. That's awesome. Now my question is, how far would you let a guy, how far would you let a guy, how far would you let a lie go go on to hide something you did or something you know? I feel like that would depend on the severity of what I would have done, right? Like, wouldn't, wouldn't it? Like, I wouldn't go that far to hide the fact that I, like, stole a fucking candy bar from a Walmart once. You know, like, I could give a fuck less about that. But if I was like, a demon, I don't know. I don't know how far I would go. I wouldn't go very far at all

I just I I am I'm so against it's my it's mainly out of laziness I I don't lie because I don't care enough to keep up the lie it's right yeah yeah I have to often care yeah I often have to like immediately correct myself sometimes because like in conversation

if I'm in a flow state of a conversation especially with people I don't know that well or like people like that I only kind of know, they will ask me things. And I will, my brain will default to whatever I think is the most entertaining thing to say, whether it's true or not. And then I have to like,

I have to backpedal sometimes where it's like, nah, but, nah, yeah, but I actually, I'm doing this or whatever. It's like a problem. So like I like,

I go back often to correct those things. But there's sometimes where I just, I completely forget. Like I completely forget, like, oh yeah, I told that I told that guy that I was at like a fucking, that I went to, I went to a clown college. And I don't know why I said that. I don't know why I said that to that guy. And that guy's walking around thinking I go to a clown card. And I'm, I'm sorry to strangers who know me because they're walking around with like complete fucking, I feel like I'm, to people who don't know me very well, I feel like I'm like a joker like figure where like they don't, he tells a different story. He tells a different origin story to like everybody. about like where everybody that I know in real life know exactly like where I'm from and what I've done and like where my you know where I went to school and where I grew up and like when I moved and all this stuff but like there are people that I've met like maybe twice who think I've I went to clown college there I told a guy that I was 46 and that I've just been getting stem cell treatment for a while I don't know I don't know because part of part of it too It was just the entertainment factor of just seeing how much people will believe, no matter how absurd it. Because I told... Sure.

I remember I just pretended to be really ignorant at a party once. It was actually at... Some people listening might know the show. Hell of a boss and Hasbin Hotel. It's on Amazon. I think it's on Amazon, I think. I'm pretty sure. Vivsy Pop is the showrunner.

She... I hesitate to call her a friend of mine because I haven't seen her in a long time. And we only kind of like passingly know each other. But, like, we're friendly. And I was at a party at her house, like a couple of years ago now. And I remember talking to some people. And I tried to convince them that I thought Mount Rushmore just kind of formed like that. Like, I tried, I made the conversation in such a way that I was like, yeah, I just think it's kind of amazing.

Like, like the coincidence of that. Like how could it be like at this mountain just like, how could this? mountain just like how could this mountain shape in such a way that it it resembles four set not just four separate real people but four separate real people that are important to the country that it's in like that's that's a staggering miracle of nature and I'm like I'm constantly blown away by it every time I think about it and there are some people who clearly knew that I was joking but I could tell there were two people who weren't super sure and that I'm concerned about those two people but they made me like I got

got so much energy out of that and I don't know why I don't know I don't know what it is about that that is so fucking stupid it's really it's really I can I real that's concerning that anybody would ever the fact that you can you can trick this is what I'm talking about man like it's that should be impossible to to trick anybody unless a you know you're talking to a fucking 10 year old or something they just don't know which ways up they're like oh yeah and maybe they even questioned it themselves like oh maybe it was for him that way but but like growing ass adult should immediately be like oh this guy's fucking with me like clearly he's right like yeah like oh yeah but some people are like oh yeah yeah good for you bro and they walked around thing you're

dumb moron i i loved but i loved that because because every time i would be every time i would be around them i would make a point to like i remember i was in the kitchen trying to get water and like that one of those guys walked into the room who I think believed me and I was like looking at the water machine like I had no idea how to use it. And I was like, I don't understand. Is there like a button that I have to like, like, I'm holding it under it, but it's not. Usually it's like automatic. I've seen them be automatic, but like I'm looking at this thing and I can't figure it out. And I like, I just, I pretended to fumble with it for like a minute straight.

And then I was like, oh, I got it. Okay, cool. I don't, I don't know. I really, I am not a party person. So, like, I really need to find ways to entertain myself at parties. And usually it's... Exactly. It's that kind of thing.

That's exactly what I was thinking about right now. Yeah. I was like this... You do not want to... You don't really give a shit about being here, so now you got to... You get to entertain yourself. Well, yeah. I don't care what strangers think...

Like, if some guys walking around there thinking that I'm a fucking complete idiot, like, that's... That's funnier to me than it is insulting. It doesn't matter at all. I totally feel you If you're a stranger, your opinion on me doesn't fucking matter And so yeah, I think about stuff like that all the time Like especially

Uh Dressing a specific way Like maybe like I've worn some I've worn some stuff that I probably should throw away Because there's just like a giant hole in this shirt And it's completely it's fucking it's like I don't care Who am I trying to impress?

I don't give a fuck about these people Like you know In the way that I I need to to impress you. It's just like fucking whatever, dude. And, uh... Yeah. That's funny, though.

That's cool, though. That's cool. Um... Yeah, I don't really do that shit, but... I have bullshitted just some strangers. For sure. Yeah. Particularly we talked about...

Yeah. Oh, yeah, obviously. You're just, you're on it. You're in a different town the very next fucking day. Like, what do you care? Yeah. Um... Yeah, okay.

What is this? Ben Baclidge wrote in. He says, I would like your opinion on this. Me and my friend had this debate since high school. Is there a difference between alligators and crocodiles? I say there isn't, but my friend says there is. Yes, there is.

Of course there is. They're different, they're different animals. What do you mean? It's like, is there a debate there at all? And a pigeon? Is there a difference between a dog and a pigeon? Yes, of course, they're both a type of animal, but. Right.

I understand the spirit of what you're asking, which, is like ostensibly is there a difference to which my answer would be no not really if i'm in a room with a crocodile or an alligator i'm probably going to treat that situation identically i'm going to be like i'm going to get out of here i'm not going to be i'm i don't want to be around this thing right this is an unpredictable fucking animal that i just no longer i don't i don't wish to be around but on like a fundamental level yeah they're fucking they're even just like from a looks perspective i get them mixed up i don't know which one is which but i could tell that they're different.

If you put an alligator or a crocodile next to each other, I can tell you that they're different animals, like, for sure. And I can tell you that, like, one is one thing and one is the other. I forget which one is which. I think the alligators are like the wider snouts and the crocodiles are thinner, right? Yes. I think.

Yes. Like, just think of American gators, man. You see, like, Florida, just think of Florida and just gators. And they're not, if you know what they look like there, then it's like, all right, that's that. and then anything that looks slightly different, you're most likely dealing with a crocodile. You're most likely like, oh, that looks a little weird.

That looks a little different, but... I had a dream about an alligator recently. I had a dream that I was... I have... I don't know about you, but I have, like, really mundane dreams for the most part. Like, my dreams, even like when they're, like... Even when they're, like, nightmares, it's usually, like, a realistic nightmare scenario.

Like, someone passes away or, like, I receive, like, really horrifying information or so... But I'm still, like, in my apartment, generally. I'm not in, like, some weird, like, Willy Wonka fucking fever dream. where I'm like, you know, moving through non-un... Like, it's very rare that that happens. It does, but like very rarely. And I had a dream where, like, I was making coffee

and I walked into my office and there was an alligator barreling towards me, like my real office. And it was such a frightening core experience because it was so believable in the moment because nothing was weird. It wasn't like, oh, my house, my apartment's, like, bigger than it normally is.

You know what I mean? Those, like, weird telltale signs that you're just. dreaming or like, oh, I can't read any of the signs. Weird. None of that. It was just making coffee walk into my office and an alligator is barreling toward me. I'm like, what the fuck?

I'm not even like afraid of alligators particularly. I mean, I guess I would be if someone dropped one on me. Yeah, if there was one at front of me, yeah, I would be scared for sure. Yeah. If I was like jerking off and then like an alligator barreled through my window, I would absolutely not come, you know? Like that would interrupt me. to come on it.

I think I would try to shoot one on it, try to disrupt its charge, something like that. Do you think that that would accurate, do you think that that would disrupt its charge? Or do you think that it would detect an additional scent and therefore find you more appetizing?

I don't know, man. I feel like it probably was not expecting to be came on. And it might take a minute to try to process what just happened. Because that's a little different. I don't think anybody normally. normally does that to it and it's like hey what just happened to me yeah you think yeah you think it's having the conversation in its head where it's like this is a new experience I've never experiences before I've never I've never been I've never been seaman

upon have never experienced this yeah me and alligator yeah uh all right that's a question for sweeney I'm not gonna I'm not gonna answer that Derek Michael Vic Blackman wrote in right now with ram trucks declaration of deals well qualified current FCA lessees get a low mileage lease on the 2026 RAM 1,500 Big Horn Crew Cab 4x for $3.69 a month for 39 months with $4,099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, no security deposit required.

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Did I have about killing dogs or something? that is a specific reference by the that is there's no chance that people under the age of 25 know what that means like I don't think that that's like a probably that is such a that is a palpable moment in time

that that references from like a very specific flash I don't know but he writes in he says hey Ed Ed Nettie hey Ed Ed Ed and Spetti I don't know what that's implying since Derek thinks he could easily fight off a wolf and most dog breeds

how many aggressive German Shepherds do you think each of you could fight at once before you lose Oh aggressive German Shepherds I'm like I think honestly two is probably like Those those things are like really fucking effective Once there's two Of those things

I might The chances go down significantly Because while you're dealing with one The other one can just go for the kill Like that's why it's so hard to deal with a pack of wolves Because they'll fucking They'll eventually get you because there's so many that are doing the distracting biting

and then trying to drag you down so then they can tear your fucking throat apart and shit. And when you're dealing with one wolf or one dog, which I've dealt with like I've even dealt with like say a very aggressive dog before that busted through a fence and grabbed my, you know, step cousin, whatever you want to call. Like, yeah. Fucking miraculously did not chomp.

her but got her, what do you call a spandex, what do you call those things again? Leotards. What do you call them now? They don't call him spandex anymore. Like, jeggings or whatever. But like leggings, leggings, whatever. But just got what, like, it just happened, instead of chomping her, it

chom, like, she got lucky that it just chomped her clothes. That's pretty lucky. And, like, that thing was like, and like, I just fucking, I'm younger and I fucking toss this thing. And I was a lot. Like, now I am infinitely strong. than I was when I was,

when I was however fucking old I was. I don't remember exactly what year that was, but I was probably like a teenager or something, 13, like barely. And now I'm, I will crush that it was a, it was a,

I can't remember the breed of it, but it was a bigger dog. And I, I would roughhouse with my friends, German Shepherd all the time. There was a Labrador that was huge my step, my step sister had. And that motherfucker loved to rough,

like would charge at me full speed. And I would, fucking try to be like, all right, let me brace myself. And I could, I could toss it. And, uh, I, I will toss a fucking wolf too. Like I, maybe not initially if it catches me off guard. But the idea, and I feel like maybe, maybe people are really weak on average or something.

And I'm like, maybe go to the gym. I want to see you put up some numbers and, and maybe gauge and see how like, how strong or weak you are. And then maybe you want to just get to like, where, here's a better gauge. Do 10 pushups. All right. If you can't do 10 push-ups, get to that level at least, where you can do 10 fucking push-ups.

And if you can't, that means that maybe a wolf would absolutely maul you and you'd have no fucking hope because you can't even- Terrier would kill you. If you can't do 10 push-ups, if you can't do 10 push-ups, if you can't do 10 push-ups of terriers taking you to the pound. Like, you're in the grave at that point. Like, I actually, like, there are, look, two dogs is like way worse. Especially the German Shepherds, which are like,

those are military dogs. They're trained for that reason. So, like, I don't know. I think, because, like, my uncle Santiago, like, he had, like, a fucking, he got into a run with two German shepherds, and one of them, like, one of them was fine, but then the other one went up behind him and ripped his spine out of his asshole. Like, it burrowed its, its nose up his asshole and grabbed his spine and pulled it out, like a fucking, almost like, like, deboning a chicken.

And he had to limp home, like, all, like, limping and gross and, like an accordion. Miraculously survived. he was fine yeah because like it was crazy it was crazy because like all the nerve ending wires were like still attached it was almost like a puppet

with like dragging its marionette the wooden marionette thing with the strings behind it it was fucking scary and he showed up to our doorstep he slithered up to our doorstep and we took him to the ER and then he went bankrupt

because that's a really expensive it's really expensive to get it turns out it's really expensive to get your spine reinserted But it was a one and a million chance, man He got really fucking lucky Oh, so he was able to get the recover the spine The dog didn't like eat it or whatever

Yeah, no, it just It pulled it out and then It pulled it out and stood up pointed and laughed And then ran away with the other dog Is how he described it But he was also in like a he was in a I don't know how accurate I don't know how accurate that story is

Because like he was in clearly a fugue state But I did see his spine dangling out of his asshole And it was really scary See I know that's actually because you're It was your uncle right? It's your uncle, right? Yeah, my uncle, Uncle Santiago, yeah. Yes.

So I know a little bit of that, or at least you're misremembering because your uncle Santiago actually, he told me the story. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything was right. Like, he definitely got the spine pull out of his ass and everything. But when the dog stood up, he wasn't laughing. He actually said bark, bark, fatality. And then he got back on his hind legs and then walked away.

Right, right. That's the one thing that's wrong. Well, maybe. Yeah, I think he maybe interpreted it. as like, you're probably right. I think it was probably more like the action that he, that the dog took was interpreted as basically laughing in his face. But that sounds laughing.

That was kind of like a very insult to injury. Like a bloat. That is very true. Yeah. But you don't, you don't know what it's like, man. Like two dogs, they'll fuck you up. And it's pretty bad. So don't fuck with, don't fuck with that.

Last, the last one. Yeah, what's up? It's so dumb. What a fucking stupid. This is all real, by the way. Combed Uncle Butt wrote in. He says, Chris, hey, this is the last one. Hey, hey, Chris, Sweene, and it's just like an empty space.

Just there's nothing written there. Damn. Been listening since that, yeah, what the fuck? Sweet's not even here, so jokes on you, idiot. Yeah, bitch. Been listening since the start and finally bit the Patreon bullet for the merch. You won't be disappointed. Maybe we're on.

I can't control you. You're right. my question is, if something were to happen that would immediately turn you into a raging bigot with no chance of rehabilitation, what would that thing have to be? I think I'm only like one bad day away. Really. I think ultimately, at the end of the day, I think like maybe I'm like, I'm one minor inconvenience away from just becoming a truly, truly diabolical individual, I think. If I were to guess or if I were to gauge, it wouldn't take much. If I could cut off in traffic and I notice, if I notice anything that I can pinpoint, then it's over.

But it is going to be distinctly, it is distinctly going to be only related to whatever group, the next person to inconvenience me is a part of. You know, it really is like the straw that broke the Campbell's back type deal where it's like it could be a million different. inconveniences from a million different places, but the next guy, if he's, if, look, man, if the next guy is Armenian, it's over. It's over for the Armenians. It's, it's, it's over for the Armenians. Then you're going to contribute to the genocide, I guess. Yeah. If the, if the next guy is, if the next guy is Hawaiian, then it's over for, it's over for, so it's over for those people. Yeah. You said another island on fire. Yeah. Yeah. Like I did the first time. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I feel you on that, man.

I'm very, I'm on the, I'm on the cusp of just being anti-Semitic, bro. I'm almost there. Like, I'm at the point, I'm at the point where just my entire feed is just littered with, you know, news in that region from that region. Oh, right, right, yeah. And then, and then there's, like, protests and all this stuff going on right here in America. And I'm just like, man, if I were, if I were a less. their being. Like if I, if I were the person that, uh, that this question suggests, I, I would just, yeah, man, it would be, it would be over, right, but you know what, fuck it. I'm gonna, I'm gonna,

me and, me and fucking neo-Nazis are holding hands now. I'm gonna fucking go hang out with Kanye. I'm gonna hang out with Kanye and be like, hey, you know what, dude, you know what? it's funny it's funny enough that he kind of disappeared where he would probably gather a ton of sympathy now oh now yeah it's it's yeah it's obviously the the iraraeli people have nothing to do with what's happening right it is it is the regime yeah it's all the government right but it's it's it's all it's all the people in power everywhere people suck and then all of a sudden they would just be like fucking anti-semitic powers activate and then just start just becoming the fucking working the fucking people.

It is really crazy to me that people can't make that distinction, by the way. It is wild that people still can't figure out the difference between, like, criticizing a government and its people. I don't know. Very weird. Yeah, it sucks. It sucks as. But, yeah, so that's my answer.

That's my answer. I would fucking, I have all that. You know, there's somebody actually drew, I don't remember if this was tongue and cheek or if this was when the alt-right were coming after me. but there is a what is that the covetous the greedy Jew drawing

you know that you know that drawing right oh yeah I don't know that's yeah like the hunchback and then like somebody drew that of me a version of me of like that and I can't remember if someone did it as a joke

or if it was when when those guys were fucking with me I can't remember but I have it I'll be honest I love it it's great I was like I can't believe someone did this is crazy yeah The effort that's that I still have people sending me that picture of do you remember that that ridiculous image of uh it's like me and lacey in the middle and then it's the two like right now with ram trucks declaration of deals well qualified current fca lessees get a low mileage lease on the 26 ramb 1500 big horn crew cab four by four for 369 a month for 39 months with 4,099 due at signing tax title license extra no security deposit required call one 877 ram 5722 for lease details requires dealer contribution

and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. OnDEC is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow gaps,

OnDex loans up to $400,000 help make it happen fast. Rated A-plus by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five-star trust pilot reviews, On-deck delivers funding you can count. on. Apply in minutes at on deck.com. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by on deck or Celtic bank. On deck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amount subject to lender approval. Sides. And it's this big drawing. This is a big drawing of like every side. It's like Steve Shives on one side and like me and Lacey are in the middle. Yes, dude. That drawing so fucking weird to me. Holy fuck. I forgot about that. I forgot about that. Dude, I still see

it. It gets brought. I see it every now and again. Like people tag me in and I'm like, man, it's so weird that that was like a thing at that time. It's annoying to see it. Like you were, you guys were the, you guys were fucking literally Romeo and Juliet. Like, you know, there is the monogues and the capulets or whatever the fuck. Yes, it's so dumb and. It's so fucking retarded that somebody did that. Yeah.

Is that even right? Is it the monogical? Monegues and the Capulets. Is that even right? No, you're right. Yeah, it's the Monagues and the Capulets. Okay. Okay.

All right. I didn't want to, like, I was like, wait, I don't want to sound confident that it's, like, the wrong fucking house. Yeah. It's like the monogues and the Silversteens. This. All right. Let's get the fuck out of here. A little bit more of a in-depth episode.

We have been doing, oh, by the way, while we're at it, we've been doing this. we've been doing this advice column on extra ammo lately and it's been people really like it and that's kind of cool it's a it's a more subdued it's less uh less joky i guess there are some there's some bits in there for sure but uh it's interesting people seem to be liking that we're going to keep doing that we got a lot of questions and a lot of them are really really fucking interesting so we're going to keep keep that up we're going to be doing our elections for our dictatorships very very soon as well when swenny is back from being ravenously touched on by whoever whoever um Whoever kidnapped him

We'll get him in the booth And hopefully he's not traumatized enough He doesn't have that thousand yard Stair Yeah You know That's dangerous You don't want to come back

You don't want to come out of that With like resting molested face You know You never You think You think there's a possibility That he's not going to return With his own face

Like somebody actually like Replaced his face With somebody else's Like they had like Yeah the skin mask and then they put like a like a 10 year old girl's face and they put it on his book I could not do a show with Kingston with his body and a 10 year old girl's face on I could we would have to end the show at this at that point but oh god that's so gross

that's so vivid all right yeah we're gonna get out of here check out extra ammo if you want we have a dictatorship election coming on we each pitched our dictatorships and you you guys get to vote on that we're doing advice columns we're going to be starting up some movie scripts sometime soon as well. Merch, snarktank.shop. Absolutely. Patreon.com slash the snark tank. And yeah, we'll catch you.

You want to count me down? I got to open this first. I forgot to set this up beforehand. But it's a quick little paid all paid active 25. Oh, man. There you go. Odd parents, black. I totally forgot about this.

Oh, we forgot about, yeah, we forgot about the woke fairly odd parents. I had it open. I know. God damn, and I had it open. We got side check. Well, we'll bring it up when Sweeney's, when Sweeney is on the show. Because I think he'll. Yeah.

Because he already tweeted about it. All right. So, like, he's got, yeah. Oh, he did. He's going to. Yeah, yeah. So we'll, uh, we'll bring him in next time. We'll talk about the woke fairly hot parents reboot.

I can't believe they're doing this again. I can't believe they're, because they just rebooted the fairly odd parents for a live action show a couple, like a couple years ago when the Halo show came out on. Paramount Plus, and it was fucking terrible. So the fact that they're doing it again, yeah, I don't know, man. Yeah, and this is like, stop this. It's got to be something to it, man. Let things die, man. It would be just, please, please, yes.

Three, two, one. Binya, binja, bin' all up in you, not Rodin. We're not asking, we're not answering questions still. Binia. That is a fuck. Do you know what Benia Binia is? No. What is that?

That is, unless it's, I'm assuming it's the reference, Gola Gola Island. There was a kid show called Gola Gola Island where it had Kingston's people. It was basically a show about Kingston's family. And there was this giant yellow frog named Binya Binya. And it creeped me the fuck out, dude, because it was just, it was giant. It was like, almost as big as big bird. Like, you know, frog size. Binyabinia polywag.

It was a polywag. Ew. Oh, yeah, that's upsetting. Whoa, that's huge. I'm saying, ew to the frog. Not that it's a black family, by the way. I want to really need it.

It freaked me out, dude. That is really, it's so human. Yeah, I don't like. Like, even its eyes are droop. Like, its eyes are droop. and it's got like a, it's got like an expression that seems to indicate like, I guess I'm here. Like every picture of him seems like he's. I guess I'm here.

It does look like that. Yeah. Let's go. Oh, man. But anyway, the intro song is fucking dope, though. It's dope. You also hear it. It actually kind of slabs.

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On-Dek does not lend in North Dakota all loans and amounts subject to lender approval. I feel like I've only seen this image like once in my life and I blocked it out. But yeah, binya, binya, been all up in you. MCG, epic rat battles of history. Chris's dad versus a sickly Vietnamese boy begin. Well, spoiler alert I love it. I love...

I'm alive. I love this... I love this lore. I think my dad might have won. The lore is funny. I wonder if my dad would... I wonder if my dad would come on this show. I wonder if he...

I feel like he has too much dignity. Hot ones. Hot ones, but the wings are covered in increasingly increasingly thick levels of ropey, dripping, scorching calm that makes you gag and... burp.

Yeah, it makes you burp cum bubbles. Yeah. So just hot cum? Is that what you mean? Yeah. You imagine Conan O'Brien on the hot ones burping cum bubbles?

I don't know how I'd feel about that. I'd be like, dude. You don't need to degrade yourself that much. Do you damn? Yeah, yeah. I love Conan O'Brien, but that's... That would be a bridge too far, I think, for him. Yeah.

Yeah. The Home Depot... he's like one of those he's like one of those few like I don't want to this sounds disparaging but I don't really mean it because I don't know

who else I would apply to either but like he's one of those like examples of like a like a very white person that I have like unyielding respect for like there aren't really many you know what I mean like I don't know I like him a lot

yeah like he seems like a good like a genuinely he seems like one of those like Jack Black type people where it's like I would be really disappointed pointed to find out like really negative things or like weird owl where it's like man it would really be disheartening if I found out that you were like yeah I don't know

anyway one of those is nothing sacred anymore kind of kind of moment yeah like for sure do you think that yeah protect him uh the Home Depot day laborers who touched my son the owner of Derek's foreskin. Miguel O'Harris transmask pussy. So, fuck. I fucking touched your son. Damn, I hope that's not true. Hey, man, you know?

I think you're laughing at somebody, the idea of somebody owning your foreskin. Oh, no, I just, I'm just thinking of these poor beckskin dudes that are just trying to grind in for some reason. I just grabs this dude's son and starts fucking molesting them. Hey, molesto, molesto, you'll give me back your son. I don't know. 50 bucks or something. I don't know. I guess it's go. Go. Go. I don't know. Yeah, Turin' pussy in this life are the next. Elon Musk inviting eight wild ram ranch cowboys and Sean Mendezze on a spacecraft to Mars.

It's a prank, bro, as he places semen in his penis. White me down because I'm covered and come. Little boozy. Jack, Jack the world's fastest maori, Bethesda. Fallout is to OG Fallout with the HALA show is to the OG HALT trilogy. Chris, what's your favorite helldivers stratagem? I don't know. I haven't played in a while, actually. Like, I think it's...

I don't know, man. Probably, uh... I think that that, that, that 500K megaton bomb is pretty fucking... It's pretty rad. Uh, big meaty stinks. Andy, the man whose handies are S-tier and dandy coming in a hot pocket. Now I'm boiling milk. Uh, if you...

Nice. If you take Tim Poole's beanie off, he looks like cup head. Ha! That's so stupid. What does that mean? Does he have like an empty space in? his head that like, can you imagine having a concave? Can you, can you imagine having the a concave skull to the point where it's like, man, you look like cup head. It's just, yeah.

He's like a fucking breadpole. Oh, fuck. Oh, man, I need that drawn. I need a cuphead version of Tim Pool. Yeah. And then I will print it out and make a personal shirt for me. I will, I will wear that just for me. I got to make personal. shirts again. It was fun making dumb. Because I would make dumb. I would make merch that like I know no one else would make. Like when I used T-Spring a lot, I would just like put up a design on there. I would order one and then take the design off because it was so dumb.

And then take it down. Yeah. I did a couple of those for, there's a specific shirt in the merch shop, Star Tank. Shop. That is very clearly a design that could be used to say a lot of things. it's the it's a it's a it's a it's the gay station three shirt in the in the original PS3 font where like I feel like I want a lot of shirts of this just saying different things and so I I ordered like a bunch of dumb fucking

just so dumb but yeah I don't know yeah big meaty stinks heath smoker gids legridicis cornbread what the fuck Tarik Nishid's secret white gay lover Smormu, Homeless Transfam Who Comes Kendrick raped Drake Not the Nickelodeon one Oh yeah That was I was saving that

Like I wanted to talk about that with Kingston also Oh Kingston yeah Yeah I did hear it I don't know I don't know what's going on I don't know what's going on I don't follow these people

I saw people I saw some people were just disappointed just because they wanted it to be like push a tea Push-a-T dumped a lot of fucking, like, you know, tea when it came to, like, oh, firing back at Drake and shit. And Kendrick was kind of like, no, let's not go that deep. And some people are like, oh, man. And so, but we can talk about it.

You know, returns with his child face or whatever. Yeah, yeah. The thing about Kendrick is, like, I like Kendrick, but sometimes I'll listen to his music and I'll feel like he's doing an impersonation of somebody who's rapping. And it's, like, disrespect. Like, he sounds, I don't know. I don't know He just has many different I know what you mean though

I do know what you mean He has an inflection That sounds like he's worse at it than he is And it always It always leaves me kind of confused Because it's I don't know Whatever

I'm sure Sweeney will have a lot to say Uh Tommy Tommy Pickles Like there's a part in the song Where it's like Where he goes Be

Be be Be be be And I like Just looking at the lyrics where it's ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, B, B, B, B. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Tommy Pickles found suffocated from crib bumper. Jesus. I'm too medically and profoundly horny for racism.

That makes sense. I get that. I understand that. Like, if you're just a derelict gooner, then, like, you're probably going to be attracted to everybody. And racism doesn't make much sense to you. I respect that on some level, you know? Listen to swords drawn by army of the pharaohs and see if you recognize the sample. They're like Jedi mind tricks.

One of my lecturers got cucked by the lead singer of the Pixies. Gay OT generous. Genesis be like I'm in love with a homo. SpongeBob Piss Pants. Mr. Pants. I have a separate patron account for the snark tank. Okay, that makes sense. Nice.

That's so funny. Yeah, I understand why. Baller of the first sins, spum befudders. What if instead of I Love Lucy, the show was I Love Pussy and it was about me. Jolly old dipshit, poopstain McLean, May thy load, drip and splatter, cyphergraph, fiberglass, fleshlight, prank.

Jesus. Ayo, Philly looking way better than New York right now. Gay butcher Pete be like he's whacking and jacking and packing. Hunter Dubois out of spells, not shells. Housing the homeless with, oh, hosing the homeless with dirty brown water. You could never fuck a guy like I Spread 12 feet wide with thick-ass thighs

I couldn't even feel you inside Come, only in guys I don't know, I don't know what it is Who's that? Is that like Aladdin? You never have a friend like me? I don't know. I don't get it. Yeah, I don't know, I don't know.

Back to Tank of Piss, Caucasian container The CrackerBow for Gays, disgruntled. Donald Trump burping on Dom's clit. Super Earth is just regular Earth without Israel. page two come on mac silhouette two cheers for my bestie for coming out of the closet hip hip hip hip you're gay hip hip hip you're gay uh she pipkin on my pippa uh rosa milano uh we are rebranding the snark tank to the spank tank maybe slightly above average clip energy how can i be homophobic i blew his fucking brains out just the hard r star coffee um ripped the digital hooka now i'm getting molested on the set of embryonic sheldon uh the mc uxed uh the mc u should cast the hound from Game of Thrones as Sabretooth My son froze to death in the waste of Ohio

By going homeless to pay you fucks This is his memorial Rip John Transfem Gremlin exposing lactose intolerance people To 90 million Rodgians of ionizing radiation Yoush Craig the Canadian And Icy Handjob from a frosty Edmonton hooker It's your boy Shawnee Dee

Gilbert Godfrey voice I hit it from the back play whack a mole With her tapeworm Jesus Man Holy fuck 3XO and the boundless nostalgia resulting from the site of old Game Informer covers

and Game Informer actually came back recently They're like they didn't come back But they separated from GameStop So now you don't have to fucking go to GameStop To be subscribed to them Which is I immediately, I was like, yes Yeah, that's cool I love those magazines

I don't even necessarily read them The Homeless Cat Do you? I would like flip through them. You know what I mean? I used to flip through them. No, I read them extensively. But that was also, you know, I'm a little bit older, so that was kind of like the best way to get information.

I should clarify. I should clarify. I used to read them. Right now with Ram Trucks Declaration of Deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees. Get a low mileage lease on the 2026. Ram, 500 Big Horn crew cab, four by four for $3.69 a month. For 39 months. With 4,000-99 due at signing.

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All loans and amount subject to lender approval. Like I have like the ones like when I was a kid, I would read them. But like when I was a teenager, I would be like, I would skim them and I just liked. They were just genuinely good magazines, actually. but yeah and I just I subscribe to them again because I was like

I kind of miss I kind of miss having physical media in some way like I don't know there's something about that like I every time I go home I agree I see my stack

I see my stack of gaming forwards whenever I go home and I'm like this is nice I don't know but yeah I totally agree actually I resubscribe to

I used to subscribe to a revolver it was a metal magazine and then I realize I was like, oh, they're still around. So I was like, fuck it, why not? For that very reason, I was like, I miss kind of thumbing through that shit.

Part of me is also just wondering how long they have left before they go away. So I'm like, eh, let me get into this last wave before this goes away for good. The homeless cat that Shane Dawson impregnated, slurping, stroke, and smoke and joking, emoticons going like this. Drip M.H., Lord of Homeless Drip, Sillone, spitting piss into

Lily's mouth like a motherbird feeding her babies. Obie won't you blow me. Jackson Vernon. Norwegian game dev developing Spanx the Quest. Kremlin de Gremlin. Dib membrane is our only light-skinned Hispanic rep. Oh, that's true. That is true. I forgot that that was true.

That dib from Invader Zim is Mexican. I did forget that. Oh. It's easy to forget when their last name is fucking membrane and not fucking membranio or something. Membrano. I'm going to steal your bones. She Azarath on my metrione till I zynthos.

That's awesome. One fish, two fish, gay fish, swine fish, zoo by Denzel Fury. I am gay by ice ice baby. What? I'm gayby? What is it? I'm gayby.

Ice Ice Baby by vanilla ice. You're going to have to clarify that a little bit more. Wage slave 583. A sad guy from Michigan telling the boys it isn't gay to be. gagging on Goggins because we appreciate the performance but I'm secretly crossing my members. The Pena brothers present Mascaroshi Flow drank Master

Corrin's sacred water and got straight to pop and launches Senzu Bean. There's a new Dracula flow by the way. There's some gold in there. Oh really? Yeah, there's one where he's like the fentanyl got me moving like a claymation figure.

That was my favorite one. Because it's very busy. I can visualize it very easily. Donkerson, Degobah, these nuts in your mouth. Installing a faulty neural link in Chris's head that plays thunder on a repeat. You got to pay the troll tolls to get into boys' hole. Gade 6 is afraid of Gade 7 because 7 gape 9. Multiple genders is a scam made up by big toilet to sell more bathrooms.

So stupid. I love that. I love big blank. I love that. Yeah, Big blank is a good joke, but more than that, I love the idea that you can sell a bathroom. You know, like, the idea that you would go to a store and be like, I want this bathroom instead of just the components that make it up. Oh, God, you stand at the edge of a precipice, not a preface is Chris? Natasha bent, bent bedding field, pocketful of semen.

Oh, I got a pocket full of a pocketful of semen. Oh, I get it. Yeah, I think that's who that is. Ah, help, fuck. The dumbest lesbian. I'll carpet bomb the Gaza Strip for a quarter. Oh, Eddie. John Strickland,

chronic herpes by Com 40. By the way, Come 41 is an obvious. Yeah. Obvious one. When I hear Come 40, are you talking about... Oh, Come 41.

So, like, fat dick or something. I was thinking about Fat Lip. I think that would be a fun song. to do. They're hard to sing though because like they've got like a I don't know there's something about that guy's voice that's like really hard to

emulate in a way that's I don't know I feel like even Pearl Jam is easier you know what I mean? Yeah Pearl Jam wasn't that hard actually It was no There are definitely something like say Chester Bennington very hard Derek from from fucking

Sun 41 he has a pretty difficult voice There's some that like they're like oh that guy from a three days grace is a hard fucking because he has like he has like a unique whatever he does with his vocal cords almost makes him sound by himself like he's like he's layered it's impressive yeah i don't know how he does it i don't know how he does it it's fucking crazy it's it is really crazy like yeah he he's yeah he's got a unique one yeah i don't know that'd be difficult murks 1889 uh she worshipped my balls call her sac religious the first Church of Keith David presents a massive orgy, but only the dude showed up.

Second shirt to keep doing being better than the first shirt to keep David. Pre-Ros, Blake 8-96. I got to hit up, that bitch, Delphine. Need to get myself some elf man ass at the Thalmore Embussy. Thalmore Embussy? Stupid. That's so dumb. That's so dumb.

That only works in writing. Happy belated Sween. Happy belated birthday. Sweene. I think I'm getting allergies again. Also, you're gay. Plays enter Sandman.

Nice. Chris trying to read like blah, blah, blah, blah. Jeffrey Epstein was killed by the kids from codename kids next door. Alaskan oil fuel trash. Texas Tater Salad. Last name, bleach, first name drink.

Like I failed abortion. I drowned. Should have drowned in the sink. Sue Hulk, tick on my ass here. It's Nikki Ziggy. Wicked 909. Sorry, Miss Jackson. brave hugger Derek Duck Hunt The Vegan Necromancer I got consent Aetherian, Brogerian punter

Melvis 1 finally rehabilitated him back in the saddle with two functioning hands and rounding out our list as always The King of Hephazard Thank you all Yeah For your support Remember snarkank dot shop

Uh Patreon.com slash a snark tank All sorts of shit over there And yeah We'll see ya Yeah Ghosts and I know it's belated birthday, but go send

Sweeney buff dudes holding birthday cakes. Like naked buff dudes holding birthday cakes. Send them that in his feed. All right? We'll know you're a real, we'll know you're a real listener if you do that. Like, if we see that in the wild, we'll know that you're a true because you stayed to the very end.

And that's how we'll know. And guess what? I'll send, I am going to, in that thread and in the pinned comment on our, on our Twitter, I'm going to post the naked birthcake cake guys so you guys don't have to search it up and fuck

up your search engine. I'll post it there you know what to do and we will know you're a real one. Right. All right. Let's get the fuck out of here. I got a meeting with my uncle Santiago. So what do this animal and this animal

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Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331.