The Snark Tank - #229: How is Asmongold So Filthy?

Episode Date: May 9, 2024

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He's being vigorously touched on as we speak. Yeah. By strangers beyond our control. I got a, shame. I got a, uh, a ransom video. Oh, you did? Yeah. Yeah.

He was, you know, it showed sweetie on his knees, you know, bound, gagged, an apple. Right. Of course. He's beaten, bloody. And essentially the guy, you know, using one of those voice distortion things was like, I want, and I'm be honest, even though the voice was distorted, it was a little, I could tell what region he was from, you know, somewhere in India. And he was just like, right. If you want, if you want this guy back, I'm going to need a $50 gift card to Amazon.

And I'll be honest. Yeah, no shot. Not worth it. Yeah, no shot. I'm not spending $50. Yeah, Kinks and Beck. Yeah, no way. That's no shot.

Yeah. It's not worth it. But, you know, I wish him, yeah, sorry. Hopefully, I mean, I know Lily's loaded, maybe she'll fork over the money. We're not, we're not, we're not doing that. Yeah. We're not doing that. Speaking of, speaking of forking over the money, snark tank.

Stop. We've got a merch operation open right now. It's early access for $5.00 and up patrons over at patreon.com slash a snark tank. You can get it. That store will open on Mesa. 17th. It's doing pretty well. A lot of people are big, there's, people are big fans of the scumbag hoodie in particular. I should notice, I should, yeah, I knew it. That's, that's a big one. Gay Station 3 is a big one too. So there's a lot of, a lot of good shit over there. Um,

there's some limited items there that will be gone when the store goes live for everybody. And also because it's an early access period for patrons, there is a, there is a, a steep little discount there. So if you want to get in before things get up to, you know, normal prices, we're operating a business here. You know, profitable levels. You got to come into our, you got to come into our hole, as the kids say, before you, I don't know what I was saying. Anyway, there's merch over there. Go check that out. What else?

We're going to focus a lot on questions because there's a lot of new patrons on the $5 tier. A lot of people asking questions now because of the $5 tier. a lot of people asking questions now because of the the merch promotion. A lot of, in like two days, there's like a shit ton of questions. So we're going to focus on questions today. But I do want to mention, I do want to mention at the very least, there is one thing that's happening in the news. There's a look, I don't, I don't know the politics of what's happening right now. I know there's like a bunch of like protests happening on student campuses.

I genuinely, and I mean this sincerely, have no fucking clue what is going on. because I've been so offline. I'm not even exaggerating when I say this. I'm so disconnected from this. That's awful. It's, it's, it's, it's astounding. It really, I've actually, I'm flabbergasted by it. But it's probably, it's probably the majority.

It's probably is the majority. Right. It's, look, man, the protests are awesome. I'll just say that. And it is very cool seeing Palestinians acknowledge the protest with like signs and stuff and, um, holding up. college universities and stuff and science is kind of saying

like we see you like thank you and that's all I'll say about it that's cool but other than that like people are fucking busy bro I get it it's fucked up but I also I get it I the way I feel about it

it's like it's it isn't going anywhere as fucked up as that sounds I mean the Palestinians are they're going to the ground well you know what I mean

you know what I mean this conflict is how long? How old is this conflict? Like this, it'll, I'll catch up. But, yeah, yeah, okay. The reason I wanted to bring it up is because there's been a big kind of conversation on Twitter, especially with, like, a lot of streamer people weighing in. Obviously, Hassan's weighing in. He's a political streamer. Obviously, Destiny's weighing in. And for some reason, Aspen Gold is weighing in also. And he's kind of like, Oh, I didn't know. Yeah, he's, he's kind of like poking fun at the protesters, kind of like, doing all this stuff. And I, I,

It's not surprising necessarily, but I don't even, again, I'm so detached from the situation that I don't even necessarily, I don't know what is going on. But I will say this. I will say this. If I hypothetically agreed with everything Asman Gold was saying or his position on this issue, which I'm sure is very nuanced and very deeply researched. Oh, yeah. I feel like even if that were. case, I would still be like, if I was in that audience and I like had that perspective, I still feel like I would be like, hey, can we, can we get somebody who isn't caked in filth to say

this? Like, I just, I feel like genuine, like, completely apolitically speaking, I feel like I would be a little embarrassed to have such a filthy person. Did you see that picture going around of his room where like he's got blood stains on the wall and apparently it was like, like, oh yeah, he replied to me. He's like, oh, yeah, my gums would my gums bleed every night and I would just wipe it on the wall instead of getting up. Like, yo, there's, I, just, I can't, I'm sorry. Gingervitis. It's so bad. That is so bad.

He's an absolutely disgusting. And I saw a picture of him, um, associating. He was hanging out with other famous streamers or whatever. It was like famous people. And all I could think was, I can't even imagine how much that dude smells. Like, there's no way that guy smells good. Yeah. There's no way he's like,

oh, man, like maybe at best he smells like Axe body spray. At best, like he just, he doesn't shower, but he puts on axe and he's like, good. I smell good now. Because if you don't, if you're at the point where you don't brush your, you're a first worlder.

that is rich and even before he was insanely wealthy just doing well enough you can't afford I mean a dentist

an office you don't even have to visit the dentist and pay them just being in the office itself there will be toothbrush items

there will be tooth care available for you there is right there is free shit like there is zero excuse

to not brush your teeth there's not absolutely no excuse It's not even that that bothers me. It's the fact that like, dude, okay, look, you got ginger vitus sucks. But like, you're, you wipe the blood on your wall, dude. Like, that is a next level. That is so fucking grimy.

It's unbelievable. Like, I really, like, I couldn't believe it when I saw that. I thought it was like AI or something. I was like, there's no shot that he actually, and that you would admit to doing that. Like there's no shame That's the thing He doesn't see anything wrong Like the fact that there's even

These pictures that exist If I like say My office right now There's some shit on the floor right now Like nothing crazy But there's a water bottle Some feces There's like

There's a yeah yeah There's some shit on the floor But there's like my my Goku Beanie There is a I took my socks off last night And they're still there So it's a little cluttered

But like it's But you would never know because I would never show. It's not even that bad. But still, even the fact that it's a little messy. I got a pair of sweatpants back there on the floor that I haven't picked up. Whoa. What a fucking tornado back there. God damn.

What a fucking disaster. You're fucking rough. Yeah. But like, I would never show. I am self-aware enough to wear. There's no way. There's no shot that I would ever show how filthy I am. And when you see that these pictures have been,

they were taken and shared without any problem or to admit to I wipe my gum, my bloody gums on the wall. And it just, it says so much about a person. It says so much about a person. They're like, bro. Do you remember the, he got to some controversy? Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Before you go on, when you said wipe his gums against the bloody wall,

I physically imagined him. pressing his gums against the wall as they were bleeding and like scraping them against it. Look, I'm not going to pretend like I have amazing. Like my teeth are pretty are kind of fucked too. Like they've been stained by a lot of like tea and coffee and it kind of bothers me. Staining is is unavoidable. If you eat food and drink stuff, you're going to, you're not going to avoid having stained teeth. Unless you're one of those people that go over the top, right?

You go over the top. You get your teeth bleached. You do all these extra things, but it is natural to have stains on your teeth. It's unavoidable if you fucking eat. It's going to happen. Yeah. But then there's your gums bleeding. That's actually different.

That's you not fucking... Yeah, that's you not... It's simply just you not mouthwash, not gargling. It's really that. It's really that. If you're not fucking using mouthwash, it's an very easy chance that you can get gingivitis because a lot of people don't really brush their gums. But, like, the mouthwash kind of takes care of the, you know, it prevents ginger vitus.

So you get like, anyway, we already know he's absolutely disgusting. And it is weird that you would want to use this guy. I don't even know it's because you didn't really say what was this position. He said he was making fun of the protesters. Well, yeah, he was, he let me, I can't remember exactly. Let me look at it up real quick here. Asman Gold. By the way, I've agreed with some of the stuff that Asman Gold said before, like as far as like gaming goods.

But, uh, no, he has, yeah, I don't know what. He has some reasonable takes outside of politics in my, it, from what I've seen, his takes outside of politics are reasonable. But when he's talking about politics, it's pretty clear the type of people he watches. He watches, well, I put it this way. He liked, he, he, he, he, he liked a tweet by Ian Miles Chong, which is kind of like, well, they're, that kind of. That says so much.

Yeah, yeah. He, he's, uh, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's. You know, it's something. It's something to consider. It is something absolutely to consider that anyone don't. I can't really, I can't even say I can trust anyone that would be like, oh, yeah, this guy's, I should get some news and information from this fucking guy. It's immediately, I'm like, oh, well, all right. You know, but that's why I feel, I feel like that about a lot of people, though, where I'm outside of, yeah, outside of politics, there's a lot of people that I'm like, yeah, outside of politics, there's a lot of people that I'm like, yeah,

Like this band all their remains They just dropped a new single after like six years You know their main guitars died In a very sketchy way And there's been like a lot of shit going on And then after all these years They finally dropped a single And I was actually kind of browsing through some forums

And and whatnot and Reddit Just because I wanted to get like a sense of What people thought about the lead singer And because he's like a libertarian And he works he's now contributor on Tim Poole's podcast And so I just wanted to get a feel for what a lot of people were saying. Yeah, and there's a lot of people that obviously are

trashing the shit out of him. But I've spoken with him. I'm an acquaintance of his. He's actually featured on one of my videos. And so outside, when we're talking, cool guy, but I don't want to talk to him about politics ever. I don't want to do it. It's always,

it's always disheartening whenever, like, because if you look at my profile anywhere, you're probably going to have a tough time predicting what you're going to see. Like the people that I'm going to retweet or the or the or the things that I like like you're like on Twitter like publicly like it's going to be really difficult for you to predict what that's going to be. But whenever somebody disagrees with me on like something political, I always go to their page and I always I always know exactly what I'm going to find. I always know exactly the accounts that I'm going to see retweeted. I know exactly the accounts I'm going to see in their likes. And it's always right.

It's always right. I'm never incorrect about it. And it's like, God damn, that's like NPC shit, like, literally. Like, you are so, you are so predictable in your routine that I know exactly, I know who you watch just by your blanket perspective on like anything that I have to say. It's wild. And, uh, yeah, I don't know how people's function that way. I don't, maybe they're all, you know, maybe that's like an, like a nightly reprogramming,

like a nightly, like, hard reset where everybody's, you know, they go to bed, they wipe their bloody gums on the wall and then they wake up and they're like oh he and miles strong there's a lot of good points i like the way you swatted that dog smart i like how he's i like how he try to kill i like that you try to kill a YouTuber you try to swat him and get him killed and then and then admit it to a uh a sex worker so like like oh let i'm gonna i'm gonna gloat i'm gonna gloat to a fucking only fans chick about like how i try to kill somebody that's a crazy that's okay me think about that think about that as a concept of thinking that is a thing to be like Hey, what do you think of me now?

Like, you like that? Because I'm like, bro, who thinks murder, I mean, other than murderers or attempted murders that like, oh, that yeah, that rules, bro. That fucking rules, dude. You're a really good guy. And the fact that this guy sells a platform, I mean, I guess nothing really surprised me anymore. Yeah, I am a little bit surprised about, I'm a little bit surprised about the, how many people

have, because it's the cognitive dissonance. How many of these people right now, like Asman Gold, understand legacy media. It used to be called mainstream media, but now legacy media is less popular than, like, say, independent media, like a Tim Pool or something. Like, they will, their reach is more vast, like, but they just have a less bigger production. But, like, you see the biggest news on Facebook, the most like and the most traffic will come from, like, the Daily Wire or something, for example. Right. Which like so, but the thing is, so now it's been classified as legacy media, but like how many people know that legacy media is bullshit? They will say, oh yeah, you don't trust that shit.

Like, they're all just lying. It's all propaganda. Success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a. lifelong passion. Our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu.edu. With so many options, why choose Arizona State

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But then at the same time, those motherfuckers will still consume pieces of it and be like, I like what they're saying. So I'm just going, I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a second. It's always super hypocritical. It's annoying. It's kind of dis, it is just, it's the major, it's not even the, well, of course, it's hypocritical, but it's like the, how do you hold these two thoughts?

You know, like, the cognitive dissonance is something that's so fascinating to me. Because I'm like, how do you hold these two thoughts together? You understand this, but then you're still consuming some of it. And the way that I am surprised how many people are, like the way that they'll even classify the protesters. They'll call them like pro-Hamas supporters. and I'm like, bro, is that what you really think? Do you think when people were against, like, the Iraq and Afghanistan, like, shit that was going on,

all the fucking mass deaths over a million dead motherfuckers? Do you think they were pro-Al Qaeda? Like, how fucking stupid are you? Like, come on. Yeah. It's a deeply... Look at these pro-Aqaeda protests. Like, go the fuck out of your day.

It's like a very first grade. It's a very first-grade understanding of, like, how the world works. But, like, whatever, you know, people... Totally. Some people just don't. Some people just don't got it. But some people just don't know. They just don't got it, man. But I, there's no, I can't, I can't get over the Asmigold dirtiness, though. I can't get over it. I really can't. That really, that really is the thing. It's just, it's really difficult for me to respect somebody who, who is filthy, but doesn't have to be. Like, I just, I don't know what it is. Like, and it's not, I, I, I assure you, I sincerely, I really do promise. that this has nothing to do with like, oh, he has the, like, an opposing position to mine potentially.

Like, I swear to you, like, if I had somebody in my camp who was saying the same thing, I'd be like, there are better people to deliver this. There are better people. We don't need the guy who, like, fondles roaches, wipes his gumblood on the wall and fucking, like, smells like axe in a, like,

a fermented axe. Like, we don't, we can probably do without this. That's accent of porta potty Like accents has been like Sprayed at a port that's probably what he smells like bro Um I want to do

I saw something on Twitter A while ago and it was a There is some girl I don't know who the fuck this chick is I think she's a streamer as well And she went on a rant about How filthy Asmigold is

And me I'm like well yeah I get it Of course And then so XQC came out And defense Well was shitting on this girl Calling her fat or something And like a druggy or something

I don't know anything about her But it was bizarre Seeing I'm like Why is anybody Why would anybody defend this filth? And somebody replied Some XQC Well on

Somebody replied with XQC's Room in some pictures he's had And he's not as filthy as Asman Gold But he's one of those people So then I understood that he actually Oh he lives in squalor as well And he obviously takes that as offense too

because he lives in the same lifestyle and he's like well he doesn't think anything's wrong with it and again another rich motherfucker beyond belief who wears all these rollies and shit and then apparently he's filthy as fuck too and look at and I excuse he's an absolute fucking moron but I will say I saw him one time

he's genuinely like mentally disabled like there's no he's absolutely there's no question about it yeah but I will say I saw him one time really push back against Aiden Ross Because Aiden Ross is like the The successor

The successor of Andrew Tate or whatever Is trying to be Oh yeah He's like He's like Andrew Tate's Cell Jr. Right? Yeah It's like the kind of vibe that I get from him

Yeah Yeah that's exactly what it is And I saw him pushing back Because he was talking about the The like I think he was basically advocating SQC saying There isn't this gay agenda thing Like there is people just trying to

live normally and comfortably and you are a bigot and just having a problem with it and saying it's like some fucking epidemic or whatever the fuck and I was like, whoa, it was really weird seeing XQC have like a really good, reasonable normal take really when

everything else that I've seen him in has been just the dumbest fucking bullshit ever. So I was like, at least his politics seem reasonable. That's all I can say about XQC. You know, just to be like being charitable. Yeah. But he's still a filthy fuck, too, I guess.

Yeah, I just, I don't know. It's really difficult for me. Like, if, dude, I'm sorry. Like, there's, like, if, like, if Bernie Sanders was on the campaign trail and he was just caked and shit and you could see it on him, like, you can see it like dripping down his hair. I was like, there's no, I'm not voting for that guy. Like, I'm sorry. Like, that might be like super shallow or whatever or like, oh, well, you're not really engaging with the substance. You're judging the person before what they're saying.

It's like, now there's a bunch of people are saying this who aren't caked and filth. So, like, I'll just go to those people. Like it's there's there's plenty of people who you know what I mean like I don't know just have a higher standard for like who you're optics are important. You're right. Optics are arguably like really the unfortunately like the only thing that do matter in like this modern era. So like you think that you'd think that you'd be aware of it. Anyway, let's move on to some questions from from our people. There's really not anything going on. There is a whole thing going on in the rap game with Kendrick Lamar and Drake and Jay Cole.

I want to get Kingston in on that conversation specifically. Yeah. So, yeah, we'll hold that off because I'm sure more stuff will happen by then. But let's see, the nightmare. Of course. Success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it.

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Learn more at APU.apus.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner

at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north,

probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call 24 7 365 wow dan morgan from morgan and morgan america's large injury law from thanks for coming by the show thanks for having me visit for the people dot com for an office near you yeah he's by the way on our merch store did you see the did you see the about section i wrote i wrote like a little uh i wrote no i didn't i wrote a whole spiel about our origins our origin stories on on our about section on

I'm sure they're extremely accurate. Absolutely. I'm going to check it's very incredibly accurate. It's all it's all very incredibly accurate. Go check that out if you if you have access to that store by the way. I had fun writing that. The Nightman wrote in. He says, what is up my goofy goobers? Who's the strongest fictional character you think you could beat in a fist fight? I'd say for me it would be close, but I could probably beat Kayu's dad. I like this. Kaiu's dad Yeah Kaiu's father Somebody who's like Someone who's strong And I could beat them probably Well the strongest

Character in fiction That you could defeat Basically It's a good question It's an interesting question But I guess the strongest Almost feels redundant Because it's like who

Who do I think I can beat Just like who But the strong Like the strongest that's so subjective I don't know that's that is something that that's a that definitely gets the noggin jogging because

I feel like so many people in fiction are just there there there's almost no in between they're either incredibly because like they're just I don't know man because like I would say incredibly strong right because like even like Krillin for example

who's one of the weakest out of the bunch, he would absolutely decimate us. You know, it's one of those things where I'm like, huh. Yeah, I mean, maybe I could beat Chi-Chi. Maybe, I don't know, man. Like, I don't think I could beat, like, I don't think I could beat Mr. Satan. You know what I mean?

No, fuck me. Like, I don't, like, and Mr. Satan is the joke in that world. So, like, Dragon Ball is off the table, I think. Like, maybe Ajorobi. maybe. Like I think, I think there's a chance. Because he's kind of got like an Ethan Ralph build.

Yeah. If he doesn't have a, if he doesn't have a sword, I think maybe I could defeat Yadirobi. I think I do, okay, I think I could. Like, if I just,

because I think I, nobody, nobody interrupts her in the middle of the transformation sequence. And I would, I just wouldn't let her do it. I would say, I would, she's a 14 year old girl.

I like that. She's a 14-year-old girl. I would kill her. Like, it would easily. Like, it would be, there would be no shot. But she's also very, she's strong, theoretically. You're right. I think I can beat most of the Sailor Scouts and Tuxedo Mask.

I think I, whoop. Tuxedo Mask does nothing. He just throws, like, roses or some shit. I'd beat the piss out of them. He shows up at the end of every conflict. I don't know if I'm remembering this correctly. I haven't watched Sailor Moon in, like, since. the 90s probably

I think maybe maybe like 2002 was probably like the last time even that's being like generously you know recent was the last time I saw an episode of Sailor Moon but I feel like I remember the structure of that show being Sailor Moon's in trouble

she becomes Sailor Moon she defeats the thing and then Tuxedo masks come like comes down and almost does like a hercule where like he kind of takes credit for it in some way and then Sailor Moon is like swooning over it because it's like, oh my God, he beat the, he beat the person. And then he runs away all mysterious.

The swooning. I don't, that is actually funny. The funny thing is I actually don't have any recollection of him doing anything either. And maybe that is the joke. It's been too long, so I don't actually remember the nuance at all. But you're probably right. I do remember there being a scene. And I don't know if somebody either put the, if this was actually, the actual dialogue,

or if somebody wrote it in themselves where it was something like he shows up and it was like you didn't do anything and then he just takes this cape and then fucks off like kind of a thing. I don't know if that was real

or if that was a representation of how it normally goes. But I remember loving tuxedo mask and there was a brief moment where I was going to start a music project called Tuxedo Mask but the SEO was completely

fucked. Because like if you everything would just immediately go to him and nobody would find my project. And I was like, that's not a good idea. But I tried. But yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think we can beat up the Sailor Moon crew.

Maybe not the Queen Barrel. I don't know if they all had different names because I know her name was different in English versus the dub versus the original. So I don't know if they all had different names, but Queen Barrel was the main boss watching the dub one. and her minions, I think, I think I could beat them. They seemed like that a lot of magical powers. No, I don't think, those are like, those are straight up demons. I think, but I think I could beat, I think I could beat the Sailor Scouts provided I get in there before they transform. And even then, I think I might have a shot.

Right. Maybe. The totally spies I would wipe the floor with, I think. Sure. I think the entire Scooby-Doo gang with the exception of Fred, probably, I think I could take. Fred seems pretty jacked. Yeah, Fred, I don't, Fred seems jacked in a way that's like really subtle, like almost like a muscle man. Like not like a, not like a like a bodybuilder, but like a like a strong man from like the 30s.

You know what I mean? We're like he's got a lot of muscle, but none of it's defined or toned. He just kind of looks like a, just kind of looks like a like a like bubble buddy almost. I feel like he's got that kind of build. So I think Fred would probably kill me. but I think I could take Shaggy I think I could take I mean

Velma and Daphne are easy easy marks yeah Scooby might be a problem but I think he's too much of a coward I think Scooby would be a major problem that's a massive dog but he is a coward you're right

you just put on a mask and he'll fucking run away yeah I guess it's Shaggy too right you just pass him a blunt and then you just snap his neck that's Shaggy I bet I promise you that Shaggy has

malnutrition So I think I think I could twist his I think I could just break his bones like toothpicks He has a tapeworm He has a tapeworm and he has osteoporosis So I think I think I could I think I could just if I did one push down a good flight of stairs and Shaggy's It sounds like you know those videos where they like roll vases down the stairs on TikTok Or like they roll like glass bottles down the stairs and wait for them to shatter that's shaggy falling down the stairs. It's like you are going to hear breaking ceramic and glass

at every bounce because he's so frail. I'm dead, like, sooog, I'm fucking dead. I've got no medical coverage. Yikes. Holy shit. And then fucking cook Scooby. We, uh, we fucking, and then Fred, Fred, you just get a shotgun, I guess. You just deal with him with a shotgun because as strong as he is, you just blow him away.

Unless if I had a If I had a gun or like an enchanted scepter I think I could take Fred I think Scepter Yeah there's those are the only Those are the only two Those are the only two instances

Where I'm coming on on top against Fred Why was that your first thought An enchanted scepter? What were you watching? I really I don't know I tried to think of something else As deadly as a gun

And I couldn't think of it and it immediately went to enchanted scepter. I don't know why. An enchanted scepter, okay. But yeah, I think that counts. I think patch Adams I could take. Any fictional kids. Patch Adams.

Patch, patch. I don't know, man. I think he, I feel like he has too many tricks up his sleeves. You'd probably inject you with something lethal, like if you got too close. Yeah. Make sure, oh, I'm going to kill you before you kill me. Hey, look at me. He's got his clown nose on

He's got a big bag He's got a non-Euclidean bag of tricks And he's just like he's pulling out like It's just an infinite bag Where he's just pulling out like hammers That are like five times the size of it Come over here I haven't seen Patch Adams in a very very long time

I don't think that's what the movie is But I'm pretty sure it's a movie About a guy in a hospital Trying to make people smile By putting on a clown nose I don't think there's any like Jim Carries the mask type fuckery going on and Patch Adams, but nevertheless.

Yeah, it's a good question. I feel like this could be its own extra. I would love to get Kingston's input on this. So I think we might recycle. This might be, you know what, I'm going to put a note here. Recycle for extra ammo. Because I think that'd be a good one to come back to with everybody. After we get some time to think about it, you know?

Because I think that's a fun one. I misspelled recycle. That is a fun. one. Oh, well. What? Yeah, I don't know. I think I typed it. It's, you know, like, I wrote resile.

I wrote resile by accident. That works. Hey, it works. Yeah, whatever. Okay. Distraught DM wrote it and he says, hello, hello, long time listener, first time homeless person. Welcome aboard.

Welcome to the homeless. Nice. We're going to have a, we're going to have an army of homeless, the likes of which, not even Rome could withstand. I think we'll be able to take over San Francisco. Easily. Oh, dude. San Francisco is already like,

they're already on their way. All right. Yeah. But he writes in. My question is, if you could put six problematic celebrities or media pundits in a death battle. Success starts with your drive.

An American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition, and over 200 flexible online programs. APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey.

Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number.

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with? Morgan and Morgan. What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Who would it be? Six. Problematic celebrities. Six of them. Man. Okay, that's interesting. I think... Look, man. that's a lot of people

I think we could I think we could work with it Are we talking about Are we talking about like say the running series Death Battle? Are you just talking about like Coach That's more of a one on one thing Yeah I think

Fuck it let's try to get six Let's try to get six We'll try to get six We'll try to get six Problematic celebrities Problematic celebrities That's a tricky one So well

Damn. A lot of them are dead. Yeah, Harvey Weinstein I want in there. Harvey Weinstein, I want in there. Naked Harvey Weinstein, though. Yeah, just give these fat, ugly fucking bad. Yeah, Dan Snyder, that's a good one. Bill Cosby, maybe.

Bill Cosby would be good. I want Kevin Spacey. Oh, yeah. Him as Frank Underwood, though. He has to be Frank Underwood. I say, I say this is going to be a mighty fine death battle. Yeah, yeah. This is going to be a mighty fine little battle to the death.

I think what I'll do is I'll bite Bill Cosby's throat out and spit it in the Dan Schneider's eyes. Yeah, that's what I'll do. I do declare. I don't know. I've never seen that show. I mean, it's, you pretty much nailed it.

That's pretty much it. Yeah. He's just fucking foghorn leghorn. Yeah, he's like foghorn leghorn on Ambien is what, is kind of the vibe I get from Frank Underwood, where he's just, he's just like,

I say, I say, I say, I will sell our country to the, to the Ruskis for $5. Yeah. Yeah. That would be so fucking crazy

If somebody had just the authority To sell America And they settled for $5 They're like listen Give me a solid fiber And all of this is yours Yeah I'm trying to get one of those

$5 foot longs from Subway Yeah And then he just gets his subway And after he eats his sandwich He's like Hmm What have I done? This might have been what we call in the South a fucking disastrous mistake.

I love, I really love the idea of Frank Underwood selling America for a really like medial price. I love that so deeply. Oh God. And he goes to Subway. He goes to subway and he still has, like, it's not even, like, it's $7 for the $5 foot long. So he can't even, oh, fuck. When did this happen? Where am I supposed to go to get this $5 foot long?

I'm sorry, sir, that was fucking 10 years ago. Well, shit. He's got almost, he's got almost like a Mitch, he's got like almost a Mitch Headberg kind of like quality to him in some, in some way. Like, like, not a. Exactly, but there's like, like I could see, I could see Frank Underwood doing Mitch Headberg style jokes where it's like, yeah, somebody, uh, somebody in the audience called me a has been, which is strange because I never, I don't remember becoming an is be or something stupid. That actually, that actually does track. Yeah, I can't take credit for that. I definitely heard that somewhere.

Okay, so this is a good, my $5 foot loans. Wait, we got three. Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, wait, okay. Oh, wait, wait, wait. So we got Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Dan Schneider, Kevin Spacey. So we need two more problematic celebrities. I say throw, oh, man, wasn't there somebody?

There was somebody recent. Oh, fuck. I'm not going to remember it. It was such an obscure thing. But we could throw, I don't know, fuck it. Throw Ben Shapiro in there. Why not? Yeah, I guess he is considered a celebrity, so.

He's a problematic celebrity. He's in those movies, those Daily Wire movies, as a great big of hero. Yeah, yeah. I would like to put in Joseph Rogaine because. Oh, Joe Rogan, yeah. I think Joe Rogan is, I mean, at this point, I think he's probably the king of problematic celebrities now because he just, I was listening to a podcast and I totally agreed with him. Dude, this guy's so rich. He doesn't have...

He has no reason. He does not have to bring on Tucker Carlson on his fucking show. You can, like, talk to anybody. That was, I don't know. That was funny as fuck, though, listening to Tucker Carlson deny evolution in front of everybody.

I couldn't fucking believe that. I was like, this is crazy. It's funny to me, but I know that there are tens of millions of people that are like, yeah, this guy's a fucking genius. This guy really knows... This guy really knows. Evolution is.

I think. Evolution has been disproven. Here's the thing about this, here's the thing about this death battle, though, right? That's the last one. So it's Ben Shapiro, Joe Rogan, Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby. Dan Schneider?

Oh, and Dan Schneider. Joe Rogan's winning. That sounded like... But I think Dan Snyder could eat Joe Rogan. Oh, wait, he's smaller now. Fuck. Fuck, I'm thinking of Dan Snyder in his prime. Yeah, well, Dan, do you, Dan Schneider's always been big.

No, but he's like much smaller now. Oh, yeah, he's, yeah, he's lost weight. Yeah, I did see that video, that apology video or whatever. Yeah, that one where he's like, you know what I mean, yeah. Yeah, the excuses. He's trying to explore. Oh, I don't know about nothing. Look, Dan Schneider, I'm so confused by him.

Because actually, he's in the news too Because he's actually suing that the producers of that, of that, not the Netflix documentary, the HBO Mac show quiet on set. He's suing them for like defamation and shit. And that to me, I'm so, I don't know what to make of this guy. Like, actually. Like, because part of me looks at this guy and I was like, dude, he's so clearly guilty. But then like, why?

But then I'm thinking about it. And I'm like, he, okay, so he's definitely a bad boss. He's definitely a creep. but like why the so here's my logic right why would you sue why would you sue that company knowing full well that if you are guilty of any of this that they're going to find it in discovery

why would you do that um I almost feel like he just wants to hurt them a little bit financially and they'll just settle outside of court yeah that's what I feel like he just wants to do maybe yeah it's just so weird to me I just don't understand.

Because even in the, even in that documentary, it sounds like a terrible idea. Yeah. But even in that documentary, like, Dan Schneider comes across like a real asshole for sure. But like he's also surrounded by genuine,

like, like he's kind of thrown in there with like serial rapists and like actual pedophiles. To the point where it's like, it's weird to me that if there was any indication that he was one of those people or he is that kind of person, that that that,

wouldn't have come up in the documentary. So I don't know what to, I really don't know what to make of Dan Schneider at all. Like he's either like a sadistic evil son of a bitch or the most unlucky person in the fucking world because I don't, I don't know why he would be, I don't know why you would sue. I don't know what I just, it's all, I can't get in the mind, the headspace of it. It's so baffling to me. I think it, I think, well, I would just say he's an egomaniac. which a lot of people are that get at that level

and some of the stuff that they were saying about him in the documentary would probably confirm that and again I think just wanting to hurt them not actually go through with a defamation lawsuit just settle out of course I think that's what he's just trying to financially hurt them I imagine he doesn't actually want to go through with an actual lawsuit which is what I imagine

which still even with that it's just putting him more in the limelight which is stupid. When you're in his position, you want to just not say anything. You want to just, because mainly the documentary is he didn't actually do anything illegal. So as far as like the documentary was talking about. So if anything, it's like you kind of don't need to, you can just kind of fade into obscurity. People will forget about you after a while. And then that's it. And but I think egomaniacs can't let. that happen.

They're like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, you're, it's, it's stupid, but I think a lot of times they sabotage themselves like that all the time. Like, shit, I was just watching a video on Hulk Hogan where he lies, he inserts himself into everything. He lies about some of the most obvious, he said that Andre did Giant, you know, one of the biggest fucking wrestlers of all time, died two days after he wrestled him at WrestleMania three.

But he lived for like years after that, like six months. more years or something. And it's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Like, why do you have to make everything about you? Like, it's, he just can't help himself. And he still, to this day, does it? He even recently was like, oh, I discovered the Undertaker. He was like one of the extras in one of his movie, Suburvan Commando.

And he was like, yeah, I remember blah, blah, and I gave him the name. And I was like, dude, he was already signed to the WWF when that fucking movie was being felt like, he just can't not do it. And I feel like maybe Dan Snyder has somewhat of that, like, I have to, and I'm like, dude, just go away. Stop. You've done enough. Even his legacy, I think his legacy of the shows that he created would eclipse the creepiness

that he did in time. Like, of course, like, if you have a discussion about Dan Snyder, are going to be like, what a fucking creepy-ass weirdo. But mostly people were just going to be like, oh, Drake and Joss was dope, I Carly was dope, whatever the fuck else. He was, you know, all the other shows that he was involved in. He has it. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know, man. Think of Brian Singer. I can believe that. I think Brian Singer is a great example. Brian Singer did like gay orgies with like teenagers and shit. Why he was like filming X-Men or whatever. Success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it.

With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence. to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said

20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Like, he did some crazy shit and no one talks

about that at all. Like, it just, it is crazy. He doesn't say anything. He just like, he's like, I'm out of here, bro. I don't know. Fucking weirdness. All right. Yeah. I don't know. It's very strange. Anyway, let's move on. We've got some other questions here. Where's the water? Rode in. He says, what's up?

Charcoal, onyx and spick. I've recently started trade school and my teacher was telling me about the potential injuries on the job, such as losing my fingers or metal rods impaling me. At what point did I majorly fuck up? Bonus question. What was the most dangerous situation your job has put you through? So the first question, we can't really answer that. Like, that's up to you.

I don't know at what point you fucked up. That job probably pays pretty well. So I'd imagine you probably are in a pretty good position. Just be careful. Just be careful. But the bonus question to me is a little more interesting. So I'm going to focus on your bonus question. What is the most dangerous situation in your job has put you through?

I think because, like, so I haven't worked any, like, factory jobs or anything like that. I've done retail almost exclusively and then I've done this for, oh my God. almost 10 years now, which is fucking weird. But so this is not a dangerous job. And retail isn't really a dangerous job either, but I do remember specifically being put, I remember a Black Friday shift specifically, where I would come in,

and I came in every day that I would work. I would come in at 6 a.m. And I would either have a part-time shift where I would leave around like noon or I would leave at like 4 or something. And that would be generally the shift. And we had a bar. Black Friday shift. I can't remember if it was the, I think it was Thanksgiving morning where I went in at 6 a.m. on Thanksgiving. I came back at, I think, two. I went to Thanksgiving dinner at my girlfriend's house at the time. This is like 2012 or, you know, 20, yeah, 2012. And after dinner, I went back to work from, I believe, seven or eight to four a.m.

And then I had to be back the next day at 6 a.m. And I worked till noon. And then I went back from like, from three to close. And it was a fucked scale. Like, there was like no sleep whatsoever. And I remember driving home on my final, like the last shift of that, of that entire sequence of events. And falling asleep on the road. And like just while I was driving.

and like, like, the shaking of the car, like woke me up. And I was like, oh, and I was like, at that point I was like, yo, I'm quitting soon. Because no shot am I going to die for Sears. That shit was ridiculous. That schedule was so fucking insane. I don't even think I went home. I think I slept in the car. I think I just went to the parking lot and slept in the car.

Like overnight from 3 a.m. to 6. It's fucking ridiculous. yeah that type of shit um as far as i'm concerned it's it's supposed to be illegal but because i think it was supposed to be yeah uh i forget there's a minimum of hours they can go back to work but obviously people abuse shit all the time yeah i i used to work for the government uh like there was these city projects that they would do to install like water meters and electric meters and uh i was i was working in glendale and um um The new meters were being attached to these fiberglass lids.

They were being replaced with the old concrete lids. And we didn't have good. I was in charge of the warehouse essentially while the other technicians and stuff were installing shit. And in my downtime, I had to screw those meters, the water ones, onto the lids. and I was telling my boss like, hey, man, I shouldn't be breathing this shit in. Like, I just had these little shit mask, and I'm like, bro, this is, this is fiberglass.

Like, this is, obviously, this is going to give me cancer if I do this for, you know, an extended amount of time. And he was kind of like, he's from the south. He looks like he's fucking, he already looks like he's, he's like an old goat. He looks like just, he looks like a plucked chicken. because he's just like one of those like he's 50 years old but he's just

been working hard his entire life so he already looks like he's dead and he's just like oh like stop being such a pussy like he's one of those people or he's like a little little little like he'd be one of those people like oh little asbestos and going to kill you like he's one of those type of people and I was like bro this is crazy

that you're so just why are you pushing back against this at all just invest a little bit of money to get like good fucking mask you know that like with the whatever. And I had a bitch about that for quite some time before you actually just did it.

Success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting

fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APU. APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion.

It's actually I think somewhere north probably closer to 22, 23 after this year and each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on Awesome so how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open our call center is always waiting to take your call 24 7 365 Wow Dan Morgan from Morgan and Morgan America's large injury law offer him. Thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.

Visit for the people.com for an office near you. And then he only bought one, which I'm like, all right. So then basically I'm supposed to just wipe this down. And then somebody else uses it after if I'm not doing it. It was just, it was fucking weird, man. I was like, dude, why don't.

And you hear about these stories of construction people, you know, getting all fucked up decades later. Yeah. Because they were doing similar shit. And, uh, yeah. So that I'm fine, but I do remember I did have some pretty bad lung issues that year.

And I will say, I thought it was funny. I learned about, this was in 2010. And I learned about Kim Trails in 2010, the conspiracy of Kim Trills. And my chest was like hurting a lot at one point. And I was just like, oh, maybe it's the Ken Trails. Instead of thinking, oh, no, maybe it's the fucking fiberglass. I've been ingesting. Yeah, dude.

So fiberglass is no joke. Fiberglass is fucking crazy. And, you know, construction, construction is so fucking dated. Like, I had an uncle who, like, he, like, they were, like, making bricks, like, big concrete bricks, and he fell into one of them. And then he just had to live the rest of his life in that brick.

His lips, I think his lips were outside of it. So it was like, it was like, if you were looking at it from the side, it would be like, it would be like, one side would be just a flat brick. And the other side would be a brick, but then you'd see his lips and, like, a little bit of his nose popping out.

So he could breathe and eat. but that's pretty sick did he did he become like a superhero like brick man or anything did just embrace it? No he no he died eventually like really he died I think like three weeks later

because he kept they couldn't get him out of it without killing him but then like he shat so much and he like he had to go to the bathroom so he shat so much in the brick and there's like there's no there's no other space so he just filled himself up with shit and died

Oh Yeah, that's a really Horrible story, man Rest and peace It's rest and peace Yeah Real sorry Yeah, yeah, he

I mean, we didn't really like him that much It wasn't that big of a deal It was kind of a Oh, well, yeah, it was kind of a blessing in disguise He was a mooch sort of Um, we buried him in the brick Oh, fuck him You buried him in the

We figured it's enough of a coffin You know Is he holding up any foundation? right now? Is he even, is he like a circle of life thing? He's like helping out? No, we didn't even want to give him that, I think. We just, we were kind of glad to get rid of them. Anyway, fair enough. Thank you for writing in. Thank you for writing in. Where's the water? Spank Sinatra wrote and he says, oh, Spank Sinatra and Bing Kumsby. Roney says, howdy guys. One of the latest episodes, on one of the latest episodes, you guys talked about the Pop-Tart movie.

So I was wondering, if you could turn any of your bits. from the show into a movie? Which one would it be? Who would star in it? Better yet, who would direct it? Would it be connected to the Snark Tank Cinematic Universe? Stay snarky. So I just want to bring this up because we have an entire sub-series

dedicated to this in some way where we write our own versions of movies. But this is more specific. I guess it's what bits would we turn into movies if we could. Oh, go ahead. Easily. Oh, man. Since Sony wants to make these fucking dumbass Madam Webb and Morbius and Craven and all this shit,

we're making a pizza time movie. And we're bringing back Sam Ramey. Right. Like 100%. Now, I don't know if Sam Ramey has any type of contract with fucking Disney right now and stuff because he did the second. What's that alien's name, Cumberbatch movie? Yeah, yeah, that's it.

And so he did a He does like an idea I don't know if there's Yeah he totally I don't know if uh yeah But we'll work it out I want Sam Ramey back I want Willem Defoe obviously reprising

Well not I guess I guess he's technically not reprising his role No he's not But But he he accepts I feel like if you catch him walking down New York you know people always like They'll catch him walking down

walking down New York somewhere, like those, uh, him, like, doing his outfit. They're asking him, like, what he's wearing and all that shit. Like, just approach him and just hand him the script. He might be like, yeah, I'm gonna take a look at this. And I think he probably would end up calling. You'd be like, I'm in. You know, I was, I was, I was walking down the street and this man approached me with this script.

And I thought, wow, that's amazing. Pizza time. I love the idea of someone approaching Willem Defoe with this script on the street and him being instantly enamored. What is his pizza time? He just sees the cover of it. Wow. And it's like it's Times New Roman. It says pizza time real small.

But then like underneath it, it's clip art. It's like Windows 98 Windows XP clip art pizza. Underneath it. And he goes, wow. This is exciting. I must say I'm captivated. Absolutely captivated by this. Dude.

I want that so bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's a good idea. Pizza time. Yeah, there's a lot of legs in that. As far as like any other bit, like, I don't know, that's, that's really is the first one that came to mind, really, was pizza time. Just because it is so stupid and so like, like, I.

I feel like it, you could approach that from any angle and get something hilarious out of it, but I'm sure there's, I really do not remember what the fuck we talk about on this show immediately after we record it. It's the same thing with Sacred,

where like I just don't remember. So there's probably like a million great, it's probably at least 100 great bits that I think could work in that, in that capacity that we just completely, just completely gone. Totally. You know what happened?

I was at the gym. yesterday and I I I so normally when I go in the sauna I put on a playlist or something so I don't have to I leave my phone outside of the the sauna I don't like to bring it in I know you

can bring it in it it especially if you keep it close to your body it'll just absorb some of the heat so it won't overheat but I still just like to keep it outside so usually I just put on music and let it play but this time I was letting a podcast and I had 10 minutes left in a podcast and I

ended up staying in the sun longer than 10 minutes. And I was like, fuck, this is awkward. I don't want to leave. But now it's silent. And so what I did was I pushed next and it actually played a snark tank. It went to, it like went to almost like an auto thing. And I went to start. And I was like, oh, that's fucking.

I'm like, oh, great. That was immediately. I was like, oh, great. Fucking. But it was actually a pleasant surprise because I really don't. After the editing's done, I don't want to hear that shit ever again. but right there was I heard the

yeah right and I heard the Fred Flintstone shitting bit like I listened to it and I was actually laughing I was like in the sauna laugh I was like dude this is really funny

I was actually really like this is awkward that I'm listening to ourselves back but I forgot how funny that fucking bit was I really enjoyed it I do it sometimes where like I'll go back to

I'll just, every down and then I'll get like an urge to see like I wonder what we talked about. So I'll go back like several dozen episodes and I'll just like kind of click through it and skim through it to see. I'll usually look for our faces like if we're all like smiling or if we're like moving a lot because it's like oh something happened. And it's usually like it's usually genuinely entertaining to me. Like I'll watch and be like this was this was this is a fucking ridiculous conversation. I love it. But I know what you I know what you mean. It's like it's kind of awkward

because it's like, oh, you're listening to yourself that's so fucking what are you a narcissist? It's like, no, I genuinely forgot all of this. Yeah, there's a little feels pretentious. I will say I have twice. It was cool somebody mentioned

that they went back and listened to Independence Day 2 because I've listened to it twice. I have literally listened to that entire episode two times because I wanted a refresher on all of the insanity

that was in it. and it was the second time, it was, it was just as good because I kind of forgot. And then I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, like the. And I still, it's probably out of all the ones that we've done so far. That one's still my favorite because it was, it was easily the stupidest. It was, it was, the, the, the mask one was pretty fucking stupid, too, obviously. But that, the uncle, the, the, the uncle Phil thing, I can't get over it. It's too stupid.

Every time I think about it, it makes me laugh. It is so profoundly, it is so profoundly dumb in a way that you cannot explain. But yeah, no, that's it. Yeah, I don't know. Like, I really like especially sometimes, usually what I'll do is I'll go back really far. Like, I'll go back to like episodes in like, like even before 100 just to see like, because there's no shit. shot. I remember any of like the minute things in this episode. And I'll listen to it at two time speed because listen, I'm not trying to, you know, I'm not trying to spend more time necessary listening to my own voice. But there are some bits in there that I'm like, oh my God, that was so funny. Especially like early COVID. The early COVID bits were like really good. Before we understood like what the hell was happening. There's some there's some good stuff in there. And it reminds you it's like, oh, we actually have a good show here. Sometimes it feels like the opposite because it's just talking. It's just a. It's just a. the same thing that we do all the time, but

success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey.

Learn more at APU. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.

And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open.

Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. It is, there's some gold in there, I think.

No, you're right. But yeah, I think pizza time. I sometimes, yeah, pizza times the shit. Yeah, no, go ahead. No, you're right about that. No, you're right. I just, I do, I do believe, I do believe that we have, uh, the show is good. I some, I do lose side of that.

That is definitely true. Sometimes I almost feel like the fuck are we doing in a way. Right. But it's also, it's also me. I think sometimes it's just being a little bit hard on ourselves in a way. Like sometimes I feel like there's a certain standard. And sometimes I feel like, I don't know if we reach that standard. But at the same time, I'm not the listener.

So really, if I see people complain and be like, this shit sucks. Like when they complained about the Tatey rating episode, which was like, I think unanimously, I mean, what a shitty. What a disaster of a fucking episode. And all right, that's what I want to, like when people give us feedback like that, I'm like, okay, yeah, yeah, No, fair. That was a shit episode. I totally agree.

The worst one. Easily the worst one we've ever done. But I think by like orders of magnitude. Like, because even the ones that aren't like, because I think our last, the last episode we did wasn't particularly like, we didn't go off like hard in the pan on like,

like crazy, hilarious like diatrives, right? But like I feel like it was at the very least like interesting. But like that one was just like a mess. Like that was fucking so bad But I think Well here's the thing too about about this is that I do think This is why I think it's important

I think being in person It just there's something about that energy Being able to improvise with people on the spot in person With no delay You feel the energy in the room It just because I was listening to those earlier episodes And you there is a point where it's like You can't really tell necessarily

I really heavily edited those episodes though I would move things around a lot. Yeah. But, like, you could just tell that there's like, oh, everybody's like kind of like in the, you can feel the energy of the room, which I think is important in making jokes. I think you need to be able to feel the energy in the room. And when you're separated by like, you know, the internet and like a screen, it's a little bit more difficult to do it.

So I'm just stoked. The delay is crazy. Yeah. The delay really fucks everything, quite frankly. Like it's and it's and it and it and it all has to do too with like there's all sorts of different things to factor in. It's like I think I genuinely think sometimes that Sweeney's like volume like his like his volume for us is low and he can't tell when we're talking sometimes. You know what I mean? I like in person I do there's like I can interrupt him and I think it'll it would flow like we could interrupt each other in person in a way that's a lot more natural and organic than we can here.

100% I will say the biggest thing I am decided for is Sweeney me being able to or us to just fix everything that that that as editors

as both of editing his podcast that like dealing with his audio and certain things is it makes I was I randomly just had a fleeting thought where because he you know he has the he has the little

stand on his desk. And like, why do you not have one of these? And he talked about getting a shitty one or something that like fucked up. And all I thought about, I literally just had a fleeting thought the other day. And I'm like, why didn't you just buy a different one? Like, why did you give up? Like, why did you? Like, things, like, because when we're in person, we'll have the proper shit, the, the audio, like, when we're doing our checks, like, we're checking the balance.

because when he got his new cloud lifter, I was like, fuck yeah, his audio is, it is thick, it is good. And then somehow it went back to being like, the tiny with,

I'm like, what happened? What the fuck? I'm just excited to be able to, let's just do our sound checks, let's get everything good. We're in a nice padded room to where there isn't just like

his barren room that sounds like it's fucking in a goddamn cave. Like I'm excited for the quality to really be brought up. up and then us to banter in person. Like, I'm really excited for that for sure. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't mean to hide. I know it's probably annoying to hear it's like constantly hyping this up. I'm just genuinely excited about about doing it in person. It's around the corner. I just think it's a better show. I am. Yeah. Yeah.

My wife is she has one more week of work and then she's going to fuck off to her home country for a while. I'm going to go. I'll talk to you more about it, Chris. because I basically in a couple of weeks, I don't know which day, but in a couple of weeks, I'm going to come back up to California

and the purpose is to secure an apartment and try to be out of here by the first of June. So, you know, hopefully it all works out. The problem is I'll look at, oh, here's the new listing available. Already seven applications put in. And I'm like, oh, well, yeah, cool.

I'm like, it's not, all right, well, I'll see what's available. Yeah, it's more. I'm up there, I guess. Yeah. All right, let's see. Let's see. What the fuck?

So many of these are... All right, I'm going to read this one. Tiger. Triple threat last man standing match featuring the Benoit family rodent. He says, someone is holding a gun to every one of your family members' heads. And the only way to get them to put it down is to suck dick until completion and swallow. You're allowed to pick who the dick is attached to, who you're picking, must be male.

Well, it's easy. You say must be male. So I'm going to lawyer this easily. So, yeah. Trans women are biologically male. So great. So I will pick. Right.

It's like a really hot trans. Yeah. Come on. Who's that really famous one that they said Drake? They said that Drake fucked her. I don't, see, I don't know anything about the, the, the, well, I can just look it up real quick if I put in, um, trans Drake. I'm sure somebody here knows who I'm talking about, but there's this influencer that,

well, actually, well, the thing, I don't know. See, okay, I will, so the sake of argument, I'm going to say this, um, they, uh, she still has her penis because I don't know if she did the, you know, she cut her, you She cut her junk off and did the full transition. What do they call it? Bottom surgery. Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

But yeah. So I'm not happy about the swallowing thing, obviously. That's, I, the problem is with that, the problem with that, to be honest, I think I would probably vomit everywhere. But I think the attempt would have to count because there's nothing I can do. But even thinking about that upsets me. It's thinking about it upsets me. Yeah. He's thinking about like taking a shot in the mouth is...

Yeah, the thing about it is, the thing about it to me is like, would I be happy sacrificing every single member of my family for the pride of knowing that I wasn't gay? And the answer is no. I'd probably just suck, you know what I mean? Like, I'd probably suck it up and just, all right, fine, let's figure this out. I know there are definitely some, look, man, I've definitely been around at least two trans women in my life that have had me a little bit.

You know, this is a stronger than not zero, you know, like more so than I ever thought like, uh, I'm like at least five percent considering this. There's a lot of beautiful trans women out there. And, right. you wouldn't know you wouldn't know like say if they didn't fully transition you wouldn't know unless like oh you were invited back to the room

and then it's like some you know what I'm saying like outside exterior you would have no fucking idea so that's what I'm like lawyering in this situation you would to lessen the blow because I'm not there's no shot like with no joke jokes aside there's no shot I can just blow some dude with abs and he's all like, you know, like,

like I made jokes about like, oh, Henry Cavill is so gorgeous. I'd bet like, no shot, dude. I'm not, I'm not going to fuck Henry Cabell. Yeah. But like, right. I'm like, but in a situation like this, it's like a life or death thing for my family. Okay, well, we're getting, you said it has to be male. And I'm like, well, you didn't say.

But wait, okay. So, wait, but now how's, he didn't say has to be male passing. So I'm like, you just said male. Okay. here's the thing here's the thing about this let's say you do this right and you save your entire family and then your family gives you shit for it for the rest of your life well then i'm shooting my family myself what the fuck yeah but then but then you've saved you but then you've swallowed come and you have no family so then it's like a lose you

lose basically you know what i mean like it's it's a complete watch well i think i think i think if you're a good person, you're saving your family's life outweighs the gratitude. I guess you should receive from them. It's almost like when people kind of expect a gift back when you gift somebody something, then it's like, well, then you're not really gifting someone. You want an exchange. That's what you want. Or it's like a gift is supposed to be something that is free. Like a gift is here you go. I'm just giving this to you because I appreciate you. And if you're expecting something back, It is nice to get something back, but if you're expecting something back, well, then it's not really a gift. You can call it a gift exchange, which is different because then there's the obligation.

I think that's totally different to work. If I'm giving somebody a gift, I'm not doing it in like, oh, they better get me back someday. And in the same vein, if I were going to save my family, I wouldn't be like, I need your appreciation or something. Even if it was negative, even if they were like, well, thank you for saving your life, but you're fucking, you're gay. shit bro like I could never I could never and I'd be like that's fucked up but all right I mean I guess I guess I'm just a

decent person and you're not but whatever I still wouldn't I still wouldn't really take back I wouldn't be like I'm gonna go ahead I'm gonna go ahead a non zero I'm gonna go ahead and not lawyer out of it just for the sake of satisfying a question I know who you're doing

who I already know who you're doing I'm not saying I promise I'll see if I'm Right. No, no, no, I promise I won't change it. I promise I won't change it if you're, if you guessed correctly. Oh, I didn't think you were going to. I just said, I think you would do, uh, uh, we, we talked about him before Timothy Shalamee or whatever the fuck his name is. That was my first thought, but he's looking a little rough lately. So no. I think, I think, uh, that's so mean for no reason. But I think, um, success starts with your drive. And American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible

online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today?

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner. at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number.

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.

That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show.

Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. I don't know. I feel like, I'm going to say Tom Holland. He's like, I don't know. We're close enough that it's like maybe, yeah, you know, I feel like we're close enough to the point where it's like,

maybe I could convince myself that he's like a, it's like a clone situation. And this is like, I don't know. I can figure, I can figure this out mentally, you know? Yeah. Why do I, why do I feel like I, I don't know, why do I not know,

I feel like I should know some famous trans women. Like there's, oh. Yeah, I don't know either. I was trying to think. There, okay. I got one. I don't remember her name, but she was on anybody who watches, well, to be fair, I haven't watched the flagrant podcast in a very long time because it kind of sucks ass now. But Andrew Schultz's podcast, he had on a trans woman.

And there was a guy that a comedian that came on because he was like a big fan of hers. And it was like, it was a funny episode. And it was also kind of nice because a lot of Andrew Schultz, fans in that bro-y universe a lot of them are kind of not down with that shit but this kind of let their guard down so I would choose that chick, this

porn star. It was a trans chick porn star and I'm like, that's the thing. Like I said, you didn't say it to be male passing. That's how we lawyer this shit, bro. That's my answer. That's fair. All right. How much time you got? Because we're on a tight

schedule today. Are we good for Yeah, I think I can do Well, really I should Yeah, I can do like Probably two Okay, all right Let's get two then

Let's get two in And then I'll record the names later Just so we can get as many questions It as possible Oh okay then yeah I can probably do link Yeah, let's do it let's do it What the fuck is all that All right

The three terabytes of porn on Chris's old Macbook That's insane No show Do I have three terabytes of porn? I don't even think I have three terabytes of porn like bookmarked. Honestly. Like I don't even think it. No.

No. That's way too much porn. Yeah. Well, honestly, how much are you jacking it to where you need like, say really an hour more of, like to me it's like you really just need a couple of links that are like compilations. Really. If you, if you, if you, because like really, how much porn do you, how long? are you drag what are you doing

some people have gooning sessions man some people some people they're up at 5 a.m they're jerking it some people are up 5 a.m. they're jerking it 6 a.m. they're jerking it 7 a.m. they're jerking it bro 1 p.m. they're rejerkin it I don't know how do adults have time to goon like to me

only porn's no not porn stars the what do you call the live streamers that stream you know like Twitch streamers but the porn ones the porn ones are probably streaming for hours gooning that's their job that makes sense Who the fuck else is Who has time for that shit?

I don't know But I assure you it's real I know it Okay Fair enough So I don't know I don't know man That's a lot of porn

Hello Jimmy Rings Black Santa and Derek the gay Just posting this because I've been listening To you guys since the beginning Of the pandemic That sounds about right That's when we kind of started I've had a long road

And a lot of changes in my life since then Lots of Ups and Downs Thank you guys for providing the last Throughout By the way I use my I use my last $5 for this. Can't wait to hear this for my cardboard box. This is just a comment.

I just wanted to get to it. It seems like, he seems new. Nice. So I appreciate it. Excavik wrote in. He says, I got a hypothetical. If you and your co-host are in an apocalyptic wasteland, you have no food. Who would you all eat first among each other?

Well, Kingston's obviously the first person to go. There's just more of him. Oh, yeah. Like we could, we could, we could ration for a long time. We could ration Kingston off for years. years. Yeah. If we're really careful about it, you know.

Kingston is a big boy. What, 6-3 or something? 6-3? 6-3? Been nice and hearty preparing for this. He's been preparing himself for this scenario. I'd appreciate that. That's actually what we've been doing secretly,

is that we understand that the world is going to end. So we've been kind of, I mean, not to be rude about it, but we've been kind of, we've been giving him certain meals. to make sure that when the day comes, he's not, listen, man, he ain't, he's not outrunning us. We got him. So I think, I think we just have a, we have a good situation here where Kingston's going to last us. Kingston, I think we could, we could last between the two of us if we're really, if we're really diligent about like rationing. We could, we could get a good year and a half out of Kingston, I think.

If we, like, focus on it, maybe making jerky, you know, you know. Lots of Kingston jerky will last us for. a long time. Yeah. Yeah, easily. So yeah, I think he's easily. Yeah, we got it. Yeah. Because we're not, no one's eating me. I got nothing. I got nothing to offer anybody.

Yeah, you might as well just, I'm like a salad. And it's not, it's not satisfying. But I'm like a salad that hurts you. It's like, it's like if you, it's the least nutritious salad ever. It's just, it doesn't taste very good. And it also doesn't help you. so it ain't happening I don't think Kingston's going to taste very good either

but you know there's going to be more of it and survival is the name of the game yeah so yeah really that yeah man can you imagine how unfortunate it would be to be in a situation where like you've you're let's you're crash landed on a desert island

and you've been there for like however many days it takes for starvation to take hold and you start eating the first person and then help arrives. I'm sure that is a scenario that has probably actually happened. Yeah, I bet. It's just got to be incredibly awkward.

Like, oh, hmm. Well, we did. It was necessary. I think we're humans really good at compartmentalizing. We would be like, well, how to do it. We had to do it. There was no other way. We didn't really get to use the meat.

You know, we'll give it to the island iguanas. something. God's plan. God's plan, you know, like, what are you going to do? It's just, well, we have all sorts of idioms about, we have all sorts of manners, manners of speech to get away with something like that. I think it's like, ah, it's just the way the cookie crumbled, you know, it is what it is. You know, God's plan. It's a way to keep some crumbled. Yeah, dude. I could see it. Just like they, they finally hit him, they hit him over the head of the rock, they kill him. And then they start cutting

they start skinning and like the very first slab a helicopter light shines. Hi guys, we're here. Yeah, it's great. That would happen. That's absolutely what happened then. We get home and Lily's like, where's Kingston? What is, get his Kingston or whatever? And we're like, oh man, you know, he just fell overboard, you know.

Oh, he got washed out to sea, unfortunately. It was like that Christopher Walkin story about that lady that fell off the boat. Yeah, exactly. It's just, you know, we can't, you know, honestly, he, he, what happened, see, what had happened was he, he, he was skipping down the, down the beach. And he tripped and hit his head on a gun that went off and, shot him and it blew his head out. And, you know, yeah, it was, it was pretty gruesome. I'm glad you weren't there to see it, Lily.

You would have been really, really taken aback by it, I think. Yeah. Really sorry. I think it would have been wrong. Here's five gallons of piss as a, as a, just a token of our, you know, of mourning. That hopefully this will help you cope in any way, shape, or form. Yeah, we weren't able to make much of his body, but here's the, here's the jerky, here's the jerky that we made out of his shins. Yeah.

We'll just, uh, we'll just, uh, we'll read this to you. Okay. She vacuum seals it, and then keeps it on a mantle like somebody would with an urn. Yeah. Yeah, it's like a, it's like a bouquet. It's like a bouquet of, uh, of shin jerky. Yo, man of action road is Hey boys, I'm back. Cool hypothetical here.

Imagine if you are jerking off to straight porn and just when the guy's about to come he runs up to the camera, jizzes through the screen and onto you. What do you do then? Yo, I can't even express how angry that would like that would both, that would send me into such a, first of all, I would feel so disrespected and shamed and then also feel so,

I would feel so shaken in my understanding of how reality functions that I feel like that those two intense emotions at the same time I think would have the potential to probably break me

and make me insane, I think. Yeah, it would send me if my immediate thought would be, I'm dreaming. I'm clearly dreaming. I am lucid right now. Especially because I just don't,

I don't watch porn with men in it. I just, the dude fucking like if if if he says one fucking word or any type of groaning and grunting i'm just not into it i just like i don't like hearing kind of immediately male moaning and shit i'm like ah no thanks yeah if you're gonna be if if you're having sex it's different but like if you're if you're filming porn shut up success starts with your drive and american public university is here to fuel it With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop.

You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. do? I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and

our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact? with Morgan and Morgan. What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan from Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. Yes. Shut up. Like, sorry, just be the stud. Keep your mouth's fucking shut whatever um but obviously i know some women like that but i'm like i don't know

isn't they're gay porn you can watch that shit but anyway um yeah it's if yeah if that happened to me for sure and then i and then and then all the sudden i verify that this is real life i am absolutely in a sane assignment i'm 100% i'm i'm i'm gone yeah no they're putting me away they're putting me away it's like you're saying that you got came on by the computer and i'd be like yes i swear to you I know this sounds insane, but I promise you, the computer came on me. And then I'd be in a straight jacket. I'd be in a padded room and you would never be able to get me out of there. Yeah.

That would piss me off so much. And the fucking, the psychiatrist or whatever that, that's evaluating you, it's, he, he, you see him, you see the back of his head in his chair and then he swivels around. And it's the fucking guy that came on you. It's the guy. It's the porn star. Just wearing a lab coat. but you can see his abs. Yeah.

It's like, so. What seems to be, what seems to be the problem? I like the idea that he would, I like the idea that he would ask that question, even though you're already in a psychiatric hospital. So what seems to be the problem? What seems to be the problem?

So what brings you here? So what brings you here? Oh, God. So good. Yeah, no, that would, I don't know, man. That would, that would be too much.

That would really shatter me, I think. That is a hilarious. thing to imagine though. I do appreciate the the image of that. See, I think we got probably time for one more. One more, yeah.

Let's see. Let's make it a good one. Okay. Kendrick raped Drake, not the Nickelodeon one wrote and he says, hey, mommy, daddy, and creepy uncle. In light of the fallout show, reviving the games, it also revived the most annoying fandom I'm a part of.

Fallout New Vegas fans. What are some annoying fandums that you guys are a part of? I'm not a part of any fandom, honestly. Like, I like, I like, I like, I don't know. Like, there's no shot I'm going to be. There's a distinction when you like, make. They're, Fallout New Vegas fans are fucking,

they, I do want to, I want to slap them. They're being, they're being ridiculous. Like, yeah, fall, obsidian did a great fucking job.

It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a fun game. But I'm be honest, and it may be really controversial. And I would also say the numbers really prove my point.

And even that Fallout 4 is just a much enjoyable game overall. And why? I said the numbers, obviously, and even people who are really diehard fans of the Fallout series, people, I went on my Steam and I would see people booting up Fallout 4. They're not booting up fucking New Vegas. They're booting up Fallout 4. They're enjoying that experience better. that's what I've been doing.

And I tried, by the way. I was like, you know what? I should play New Vegas because it's the only one that I didn't finish. It's the only one. I started it so many times and then just like kind of fell off it. And I went, I booted up New Vegas and I played about four hours of it. And it's well written and it's good and I like it. But like, fuck, it kept crashing still.

It crashes all the fucking time. And then also quite honestly, like the, I, I, I know that it's, I know that I would never say that it's not the best written fallout game because I think it's by almost objectively true by like a wide objectively provable margin. But like, I don't know. I kind of don't like that map nearly as much as I like the fallout four map or the fallout three map. And fallout four is just so much more playable that I just got to a point where it's like, well, I'm sick of this thing crashing. I don't really like this map that much. I'm going to play fallout four and I've been playing it for fucking 25 hours because it's just it's just really good to play.

It's not nearly as well written for sure. But, like, I don't care, really. Like, I don't, I'm not this. I know that that probably sounds like really annoying. But, like, if I'm coming to play a game that, first of all, if I'm coming to play a game that I've played before already, you know, the writing of the game is not really as important to me as, like, how much fun am I having and how good does it feel to play?

Like, those are almost, like, way more, way more important. It's like Stellar Blade. Stellar Blade is really great to play. That story is so dumb, it's unbelievable. It is such a stupid, stupid story. But who cares? I don't care, because it's really fun. It's enjoyable?

Yeah. A lot of platinum games, for example, like I play Devil May Cry 5. I don't remember the story at all, but I remember having a lot of fun playing the game. The only Devil May Cry story that I remember is three. The origin, like, story of his business, devil made cry, starting and stuff. But, like, I remember that's because I beat it so many times. But everything else, I have no idea. It doesn't fucking matter to me at all.

I feel the same way about a lot of Bethesda games in general, where I'm having so much fun in the world, like a fucking Elder Scrolls or a Fallout. Right. And I'm having a lot of fun in the Fallout 4 world. And I didn't boot it up again because I actually played it two years ago. ago. Because I remember I was like, I played this recently. And so it was recent enough to where I'm like, I'm fine. I did try to beat the boot up Fallout 3.

And guess what? Success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion. Our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APU. APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.

And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.

That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 47 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law,

from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you. It won't launch for me. I fucking patched it too, and it won't launch for me. It just won't do it. And I'm like,

I'm like, bro, I can't, I literally can't play it. I thought it was so funny. Yeah, fall out, yeah, I don't know. Fall Out for us a good, it's a good game, man. Like, I, you know.

It's fun, man. It's, it's good. And I like those, I like, it's it's got me yeah I'm two years ago is too recent I haven't played it since probably

probably since it first came out really like they were still coming out with those like I remember the newest expansion at the time that I stopped playing was that amusement park one it was like nuke, Nuka World or something Nuka Kolo, Nuka World or whatever yeah yeah yeah and that was pretty soon after release

I'm pretty sure like that was no more than a year so like it's been It's been, yeah, it's been quite some time. It's been seven years since I played it. And I'm remembering a lot of it as I'm playing through it. It's like, oh yeah, I remember this. I remember Nick Valentine in the subway. And I'm, like, I'm remembering things as I'm playing again.

But like, it's pretty good. And I haven't played Far Harbor either. That apparently is like pretty good too. So there's some stuff that I'm, I'm glad I waited because I have all this like stuff that's kind of like accumulated over time. But yeah, no, fallout four is fucking great. It's not an amazing story, but like, I really don't, I really don't care. I don't care.

I don't, I don't, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't consider myself a part of an annoying fandom. I think the closest I would, the closest I would get is like a halo, I guess, is the closest. But even, even that I'm kind of like, I don't know, I'm kind of jaded too at this point. Yeah. Kind of out of it. I think, the only fandoms that, like, the only fandom that I'm truly a part of is The Simpsons. and The Simpsons, I more call it, community is the best out of anything, just the memes that are shared.

Nobody's doing this weird shit like trying to steal shit and take credit for all. It's just like people are just putting shit out, shit posting, sharing fucking scenes, and then people are just quoting. And I've literally, out of all the years that I've been following this shit, not one aorta of drama have I ever even come across. and it's been kind of cool like just oh yeah we just appreciate this show and the well okay there was one little thing

there was some people writing essays trying to say the last good season was season eight there was some fucking nerds trying to convince people and I'm like that it's just it's just untrue it's just unfucking true and I hate

I hate most video essays yeah they really take something that is only like kind of interesting to think about and then they they just exhausted to the point where it's like like that that happened kind of recently with like um because seinfeld has like a famously like not loved finale or whatever and there's been i've seen this thing going around it's like well it's like yet the middle seasons of seinfeld are the best and then at the end it gets it gets really bad because it becomes uh really cartoony and i'm like

the whole show is fucking ridiculous like like the entire time. Like the first season is way grounded and the second season is pretty grounded. But ever since like season three onward, it's fucking absurd. Kramer gets, in season three, Kramer gets arrested for being a fucking serial killer. In California. Like it's, it's, it's immediately cartoony like from the get-go. They just kind of, I don't know, like there was this whole thing.

It's like, yeah, the last two seasons are like really where Seinfeld loses its way. And I'm like, it's literally, that's not true at all. it becomes more of what it's always been really naturally over time and then it ends. It's not a great ending, I would agree, but like, I mean, like the last episode, that's where it really kind of becomes a little weird.

But, I don't know. AAS are annoying. Anyway. Yeah, absolutely. Let's get the... All right, let's wrap it up. I got to go get my fucking ball and chain. All right.

We'll see you guys. We'll see you guys next time. I'm going to read the names now. Give Derek some time. But we'll see you next time. Remember snarktank. shop. Patreon.com slash the snark tank. $5 to get access to the early access shop

and ask questions on the show. All that jazz. $25. It gets your name right at the end of the show. Thank you for your support. We'll see you next time. Sweeney should be back by next time, by the way. So, guys.

I'm going to be the one reading the names today. I'm going to be doing it, so we're going to do it right now. We got round-eyed Asian. I was just watching something where I heard that. I don't remember whatever I was watching. Anyway, I am the come, don't weigh a cum, oh, that's a, I am, wait, I am the come, don't weigh you, come, don't need to come to get erect upon his meat by, that is balls to meant by Denzel Cum. That's pretty good

I like that By the way Am I the only one who thought The first time I heard that song I thought it was some British nigga Like I swear like the way that it sounds It sounds like someone Like some British dude was rapping

And then it's like oh no Denzel Curry He's from the States He's from here And I'm like well It's just the vibe That's what it sounds like to me But anyway

Who puts the sex in sex offender? Yeah that's me Zero with a hero, Hercules. Benya, Binya, Benal up, Benya. MCG. The Spank Tank starring Dick Gaye Cum, Harry Blackman, and Long Pini. Very hot. Oh, I gotta make this a little longer.

Like my not penis. Hot ones, but the wings are covered in increasingly levels of thick, ropy, dripping, scorching cum that makes you gag and burp. The Home Depot Day laborers. who touched my son. I'm sorry. Raging cancer. That's funny to me. Miguel O'Harris transmasked pussy. Walton Gaggins.

Turian pussy in this life are the next. I molested 23 Vietnamese boys and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. It's a prank bro as he places semen in his penis. That's crazy. Pussy Boy wanted beef after galactic acquisition. wipe me down because I'm covered in come little boozy nice jack the world's fastest Maori and the only snark tank fan from new zealand I wonder if you are the only snark tank family from new zealand if that's the case whenever I make it to new zealand you and I

will have to have a I don't know if you guys say pints over there too I'm assuming you do you guys talk about fighting wolves meanwhile I want to throat train blade from elden ring I want to kiss his red rocket that's come on man you saw the mods where he's nude right you saw his nude mods if not I'm sure I posted them I don't know I'll I'll pull them up if I can I mean I guess you can just Google it real fast Big Meaty stinks and you the man whose handies are S tier and dandy Drake cock slapping Kendrick in the face

I mean he probably can do that If you take Tim pulls Beanie off, he looks like Cuphead. Yeah, I'm sure he does. Did you see he was at some like conference or something in Florida where everybody's wearing suits and he still had the fucking beanie on? I'm like, come on, man. Can you not at least just put on a nice like golf hat or at least if you still want to be, you still want to conceal your baldness?

Like just put on a nice hat. You can't even do that, man. Like, damn. Heath Smoker. Gids. Uncle Magic molesting Tom Sweeney at the ripe age of 30 at his own birthday party. That's facts. Why can I not say this?

Leggritt Tigges cornbread? I don't know why I'm struggling to say that. Torek Nishid's secret white gay lover, facts. Smormu, homeless trans femme who comes. Kendrick raped Drake. Not the Nickelodeon one. I piss it all at once Like the shower

Wait I piss it all I piss it all at Once like the shower in BR 2049 Very cool Okay I get it now I get it now okay I'm fucking Blade Runner

I'm too I just never heard anybody do that BR 2049 I don't know I'm just maybe I'm just not familiar with that I'm too I'm too medically and profoundly horny for racism

them. I didn't know that that was a thing that that could happen. Listen to swords drawn by Army of the Farrells and see if you recognize the sample. They are like Jedi Mindtricks. I definitely know Army of the Farrells. They've, they've collabed for sure. They've for sure collared. That's funny. Swords drawn and then Storm of Swords.

I wonder if I've heard that. I'll check it out because I'm completely aware of those dudes. One of my lectures got cucked by the lead singer of the Pixies. Love that. I once saw Sweeney do 50 slow handstand push-ups. I need that footage. KSC, my curse. There is come burning to find you.

You will, wait, will you come for me? I've actually thought about doing that one. Since I already covered that on my main channel, I was thinking I should just do this but gay. since I already have the I have the instrumentals already I could just do it real fast I've also

I thought about doing a different a different kill switch one of the song when darkness falls I was going to call it like when gayness calls or something and I've been working it out of my head but whatever all let's see Mr. Pants

can you can you show a do can you do a deep dive extra ammo on Destiny the guy I wouldn't mind doing it but I would ask the boys next time they're here I'll ask them if they want to do that

I wouldn't mind doing it because it's funny that I'm reading this right now because this morning in my head I was just thinking about his arc his villainous arc and what he's doing it and why he's doing it and I don't know if it's just like if it's a money thing I don't know if he got money

I don't know if he's just trying to be the ultimate contrarian But I know he doesn't believe what he's saying Because of arguments he's made in the past Like destiny is not a stupid person And I'm like The arguments he's made against ethnostates And the reason why ethno states would never work Especially to peacefully remove people

From a popular From an area where they do not want to go Like it is impossible to move people peacefully If they don't want to move violence will take place. That's the only way to move them if they don't want to move. And so he's made these arguments before and how peaceful ethno states could never work

and say somewhere like the United States because the brown people don't want to leave and you would have to forcefully remove them. You would have to violently remove them. And so you can extrapolate that to what has happened over the decades with Israel and Palestine. So it's like he knows this. And so his argument and where he's

stands, I know he knows he's arguing not in good faith, but the question is why. And unfortunately, he won't tell us why because that would give up his, you know, the jig would, it would be up. The cat would be out of the bag and then that would not look good on him. So I don't know his motivation. And only, I'm pretty sure only he knows. And maybe someone who paid him or if it's just his own his own volition, just wanting to be like, I'm going to argue on the side of ethnic, cleansing and see how well I can justify it. It's crazy, but, you know, I digress. Ball of the First Sin, Spum befudders.

Stop calling me neurodivergent and say what you want to say, you African-American. I know, right? Like, I just don't like, look, man, I don't want to use autistic as a pejorative. so I want people to understand when you're saying neurodivergent I want people to understand what I'm actually saying and not just calling somebody autistic in the way that it's like an insult

and I mean that you literally are autistic you know what I'm saying? I feel like some people need that differentiation I don't even know if that's a word but just to understand what I'm trying to say and not just oh I'm just trying to insult you or whatever because just being autistic is not purely an insult

It's just like, oh, you probably are doing this because you're autistic. And I don't mean that as a bad thing. It's just like you see the world through this lens. So this is probably why, you know, as an example. I'm just trying to give an example. Where do we go? African American. That's funny.

I like that, though. I understand what you're saying, neurodivergent in quotations and African American in quotations. I totally, I totally understand where you're coming from. Jolly old dipshit. Flint dribble owner of the dibbill, the dibsdale, dibletone. Jeez, that was hard to say. May thy load, drip, and splatter. Ciphergraph, fiberglass, flesh light prank.

Ayo, Philly looking way better than New York right now, yeah. Gay, butcher, Pete, be like he's whacking and jacking and packing. Stupid. Hunter Dubois, out of spells, not shells. Hosing the homeless with dirty brown water. Yeah, you just get that flint water and just hose them all down. Give us your dong. Give us your dong. You're the penis man.

Give us your dong tonight. We're all in the mood for a slab of meat. And my booty's filled up nice. Damn, I can't tell what that is. Damn. I hate when I can't tell because then you can't spend too much time thinking about it. You got to move on. You must go to the bodega system.

Caucasian container, the cracker braille for gays. Disgruntled. Donald Trump burping on don't. I love that. That was a fun segment, fun little bit. My granny shits with the dorm. Come on, Grandma. Like, it's, how interesting is that, though, because you feel like old school ladies probably have the most like, success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion,

our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with

Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law that's pound 529 from your cell phone we are always open our call center is always waiting to take your call 24 7 365 wow dan morgan from morgan from america's large injury law firm thanks for coming by the show thanks for having me visit further people dot com for an office near you like uh they have the most trauma of you you you dare can't do anything that would be perceived a manly thing to do like a man just leaving the door wide open and shitting like that seems like something like a man would do and like usually grandmas were so like probably beaten up back in the day for doing anything that's like hey sunny miss you're a perfect little angel you do everything right and if you don't do it

right i'm gonna kill you you know kind of you know you know what i mean max silhouette i convinced my friend 25 years old that a camel's second hump is where they store their piss i made sure to come clean because i remember let's see yeah so that's funny i mean that's a harm one unless they try to write a paper about it that that would have been crazy or something but that's pretty good she pipkin on my pipup possum chris milks marsupials on the weekends i didn't know that Derek please stop being wrong all the time i like when people say stuff like that but then like they never elaborate on like say this happens all the time when you see people in chats will they just say you're wrong or something like that and they'll never elaborate on why or how

or anything. And it's because they 99.9% of the time have nothing constructive or a value to say. It's how it happens. And sometimes that's the annoying part. I don't mind people telling me I'm wrong because I'm a human being, right? You can be wrong. You're human. There's something fascinating about when people try to point and laugh at you or try to be like, oh, you're wrong or something. It's like, well, yeah, like you can't always be right. The hell are you talking about? And then it's just like, well, just explain calmly what you think I'm wrong. wrong about and then we can agree to disagree or I can explain or I can concede or anything like that so I'm looking forward to you changing your name next time and explaining on how I'm wrong

or you know DM me explain explain yourself okay maybe slightly above average clit energy how about just masterful clit energy how about these the best clit energy you know how about epic clit energy I like that like masterful's good epic click energy sounds pretty good how about I like that. Let's see. How can I be hobophobic? I blew his fucking brains out. That's so stupid.

I like that. Just the hard R. Star Coffee. Rip the digital hookah. Now I'm getting molested on the set of embryonic Sheldon. Stupid. Once I've learned from one, I think you meant to put thing. One thing I've learned from this Drake versus Kentrick is that the Toronto

accent is fucking awful. Somehow the worst than Swedish accents. Swedish accents aren't that bad. I don't mind Swedish actions. They are a little silly, though. They are silly. Toronto accents are bullshit. Completely,

I feel like they were recently manufactured in the way. I don't even think that it's like old. You know what I'm saying? Like in a way that most dialects have not been invented that long ago. Like I would say the, the latest dialect that exists is the Valley Girl accent.

Right? I think that was the most recent. That's only been like a couple of decades. And this new Toronto thing, I feel like it's fairly new. Like I don't think you can go that far back and then there was people in Toronto that were talking like that.

I could be totally wrong, but I just feel like this conversation would have propped up a long time ago because it is that bad. The Toronto accent is that bad. My son, to death in the waste of Ohio by going homeless to pay you fucks and this is now his memorial. Rip John.

I appreciate that, man. Great sacrifice. Transfim Gremlin exposing people with a lactose intolerance of 90 million rodogens of ionizing radiation. Yush. Wormst. Craig the Canadian. Featuring a icy hand job from a frosty Edmonton hooker. That sounds awful, but I'll take it.

It's your boy, Shawnee Dee. Gilbert Godfrey voice I hit I hit it from the back I can't do I can't I can't do that I hit it from the back

and play whackamo with their tape worm I know Chris can do a good Gilbert I think so he'll have to do that one next time 3XO and the Flintstones Tub Girl pilot episode I love man that

I went back that that fucking Flintstone show was funny as fuck to me like I usually I think it's in the podcast I don't listen back to myself very often on the podcast but you know other than when it's just going

through the editing but like that that shit was making me laugh I was at the gym like laughing my ass off anyway there is no cock like horse cock send your asshole oh yeah there's no cock like horace cock send your asshole and a shock

yeah that's pretty good you need horace cock of course horse cock that's a crazy ass song man slurping stroke and smoking joking emoticons going like this I guess I should go like this because I think my thing is reversed. See, Drip M.H. Lord of Homeless Drip.

L.O. Cool J's voice. Don't call it a cum shot. Stupid. Obi, won't you blow me? Jackson Vernon. Norwegian game dev now developing a cardboard quest. I am homeless. Dude, cardboard quest.

Stupid. I like that. Hey, good on you. Kremlin de Gremlin. Dib membrane is our only light skin, Hispanic rep. I'm going to steal your bones. She Azorath on my

Metriontililis. That's very cool. One fish, two fish, gay fish, swine fish. Zoo by Denzel furry. We got two Denzel Curry references. Interesting.

And rounding out our list, and rounding out our list, the king of haphazard, that's false alarm. Racist fallout Walter Goggins be like, know what we used to call your kind before the bombs fell dark dark dark dark darky damn can you imagine wade slave 583 a sad guy from michigan i'm sorry you're sad telling the boys it isn't gay to join the snark tank sex cult as

bottoms but i'm secretly crossing my fingers do if we have a gay sex cult and i'm unaware of this i'm going to be very upset i'll be very very upset because this is something that i would want to openly talk about and be very proud of. All right. The Braini Bros. present the Master Roshi Flo. Drink Master Corrin's sacred water and got straight to pop and launch's Sinzub Bean. Very cool.

Donkerson. Dagobah D's nuts in your mouth. I probably said that wrong. Installing a faulty neural link in Chris's head that plays thunder on replete. You got to pay the trolls told to get the boy's hole. Gade 6 is Afraid of Gade 7 Because 7 gaped 9

That's fucking awesome I didn't know when Chris was reading this That it was two separate Names So like Gade 6 is a guy And then this dude Knowing that he was next He continued it

That's very clever I didn't know that Chris didn't mention it Because he sucks sometimes Robah Hood and little John fucking in the 4 Who did laudee Golly what a gay

Robin Hood and Little John Fucking in the four is I don't know why that That fucking rules That's a good one I feel like that's something Maybe Maybe deep diving more

Into more Disney shit Would be good man That's fucking awesome Sween reading the names Was awesome You do two shows a week Have Chris do the first Then Sween

Or Derek do the second one Yeah What I think We should probably rotate I think it should just rotate. I'm sure you guys would prefer that, so I'll bring it up next time. Or at least if I don't bring it up, we'll bring it up again once this name is read again.

D. Zief Kweef. Ah, help. Fuck. The dumbest lesbian. I'm sure you're not the dumbest. I'm sure you, you know, give yourself some credit. I'll carpet bomb the gossip strip for a quarter. So crazy.

John Strickland. Oh, okay. Chronic herpes by Come 40. There's no spaces in this. See my boys getting stuffed and drown a huge orgy with so much sound. It's actually kind of hard to read without spaces a little bit. It's a little harder. It's kind of funny.

Merck's 1889. I really hope Mike Tyson kills Jake the Ring. I mean, we all want that, but like let's just don't get your hopes up to. too high, man. Don't get your hopes up too high. God, I would love that, though. Wouldn't that be great? The first Church of Keith David, Willie Wonka, be like, goon with me. Goon with me, and will be in a world of savage masturbation. Yeah, that's pretty good.

Second Church of Key David featuring Being Better Than the First Church of Keith David, nice. Pre-Raz, Blake 8, 96. I swear, I thought I just read that. No, I guess not. I gotta hit up that bitch Delphine. Need to get myself some elf man ass at the Thalmore Embassy. Yeah, why not? You should.

Happy, oh, and they have the, I like your, your avatars that fucked up animation or drawing or whatever of Norman Osborne. That looked like the Game Boy Advance or something. That show was so funny. A picture of Sween that says, Happy Bladed Birthday, Swin. Also, you're gay, plays inter-Sand-Man. poorly.

Hell yeah. Chris trying to read like, pa-pa-p-p-pa. Yeah, I noticed a couple of people do that. He was the first person I've ever noticed to do that. And somebody else, I was probably listening to a podcast and I heard them by, blah, blah, blah.

And I was like, is that like a thing? Like multiple people do that? And it's not just Chris? Okay. Kingston falling down an escalator that takes him up as fast as he falls down. That's crazy. That's crazy. So then he just fucking stays suspended, falling forever.

I love that. Alaskan oil filled trash, Texas tater salad, sween with the face of a 10-year-old white guy. That's right. I forgot about that. Dude, can you imagine? Sue Hulk. Tickle my ass here's Nikki Ziggy. Nicky Ziggy, congratulations on the engagement to one of the gayest men. I'm just kidding. Well, I mean, maybe I'm not good. Maybe you actually agree with that. Humana, humana, awuga. Sorry, Miss Jackson. Badly Brave. Hugger Derek. Duck cunt. The vegan necromancer. I got consent. Nice. Ethereum. Brogerian Hunter. Malephus won. Finally a rehabilitated and back in the saddle with two functioning hands.

Let's go. And rounding out the list. Finally. Dan, how long was this? How long was this? Let's see. Let's see. Where's my timer? What the hell? Okay, wait, let me just say this. King of haphazard is the last one. I should just say this before. I fucking, but like, I think my stuff was, oh, it was too crunched up. 22 minutes I got clocked in right now.

But, you know, I'm going to cut it probably just a little bit. So there you go. Thank you guys for, if you made it this far. Appreciate you all very much. If you listen to this entire thing, what do I want you to do? In order for you to know that you listen to this entire thing, you can do one of two things. You either need to DM me on Instagram or at me on Twitter.

And you need to say cummies. You just send me the word cummies. And that lets me know you made it all the way through. So on Instagram at some BG, you know what? No, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry. Not on my personal thing. Go to the snark tank IG.

You know, because I need to start using that. more. So go to the Snark Tank Instagram. I think it's just called Snark Tank IG. I'm sorry if it's not. And just either DM, comment on something, whatever, because there's not much traffic on there. So I will see it because I just don't want to miss it if it's on the personal stuff. There's too much traffic going in and out. So just put comies anywhere to let me know that you made it all the way to the end. And I'll let you know that you were a true homeless person. You have no fucking money. All right. Take care, guys. You do it yourself. That's why you change your own oil.

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