The Snark Tank - #233: Peter-Man O Face

Episode Date: May 24, 2024

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Or your first car, the one you wished you never sold. It has to be eBay. Shop eBay for millions of finds, each with a story. eBay, things people love. How are you doing today? Welcome to the Snark Tank podcast with your hosts, Chris, Derek, and Sweeney. I have to remind you at the top of the episode that the merch store is now live for everybody. On the day that we're recording this, it's going to be, you know, if you're listening to this, it'll have been live for like at least a day or two or a few. So, it's not technically newly live for you, but it's live for everybody now.

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And yeah, that's all the housekeeping, I think. And now we can address, address the realities of the world. Derek is in a new place. Yeah. Yeah, we should probably address that just real fast, that I, that looks a little weird. There's a lot of stuff going on the background. My webcam is awful because it is the internal webcam on my shitty, you know, business laptop. And yeah, so it's pretty cool.

But I am currently looking for a new spot. I hate everything about this. Everything about this process is fucking so dumb. I'm so tired. It's terrible. Yeah. And then the last place that I just saw, before I came up here,

it was like, so I caught them off guard because I called him like, hey, can I just see it right now? And they're like, yeah. And it was a fucking dumpster. It was crazy because like inside looked okay. But then on the outside, I was like, oh, it looks, it's usually the opposite. Like, it was, and then it was roach infested. Like, I was just like, oh, this. They didn't even try.

Like I walk into the kitchen, there's this roaches crawling, and then I open the covers. There's dead roaches. I go in the master bedroom. There's dead roaches on the floor. And I'm like, oh, they didn't even like get up in the morning. They didn't even attempt to hide it. Cover it up or anything. Nah.

I was just like, oh, yeah. I was like, oh, yeah, you know. And they also have the audacity to be like, yeah, you know, three times your income. You need, you need this. Six months of fucking bank statements. And I'm like, for this fucking dump? For this fucking dump, you need all that. that shit. Like, like, it wasn't even some like luxury apartment shit. Oh God. Chris, remember that? Remember those

days, dude? I do remember. And I hated every single time was a nightmare. It was it, I mean, thankfully, it was easy for us to do the income thing because we have a business. Like, it was easy for me to just be like, just point to the Patreon to be like, hey, look, this is, you know, and, you know, other things where it's like, we're, we're good. But like, it is, like, the sheer, the bare, the barriers that they have for even the shittiest places truly baffle me. It's like you're really going to demand somebody who makes $3,000 a month to like you're going to demand that they show you proof that they get like to live in among roaches. Are you kidding?

Not even that, dude. If you if the rent is $3,000 a month, you have to, you have to make $9,000 a month. Yeah. To prove that you can live among roaches. That is so, that is so out of box. It's insane. There really, there really needs to be like a big overhaul in like how rent and all that stuff works in this. Like I really do think it needs like, we need like an executive order to like handle this shit because it's, it's really so tyrannically out of pocket that I really.

Oh, it's terminal. Yeah. There's no way. Near like terminal levels where it's like this is horrible. We need to fix it. 100%. There are some good spots that I saw, but then there's those barriers. And then I've asked the people that live there. And I'm like, how do who?

I'm like, I'm not trying to shit on you. But if I made upwards of $7,000, $9,000 a month, why the fuck would I live here? Like, why the fuck would I be here? I would have either an amazing apartment or logically you would have a house. If you cleared that type of money. Yeah, I just, it mind boggles me. You know what my conspiracy theory is about that? I genuinely think that they want that because it's like the people, the people who make that amount of money, like you said, are going to be living in better places.

The people who are not making that money can't afford to live there. So it kind of leaves those places, those places open for like purchasers. And by purchasers, I mean like companies, like Airbnb. It's like, okay, well, we could just buy this property because it's so out of, you know what I mean? like it's in this weird spot where it just doesn't make sense like it really it really does not make sense for these things to be priced the way they're at like I'm sorry there's no studio apartment on the face of the earth that is worth $3,000 a month like it's I'm sorry like just there's nowhere that justifies that it's insane

there's no studio worth more than there's no studio worth more than like 2100 a month I'm being honest studios should be kept out at 16 max max in like a large city And as there'll be a beautiful studio somewhere amazing. You need to cut $600. Yeah. Because having no bedrooms, having a kitchen, that that's not, that is such bad amenity living. Like, even the way I live right in my house right now, my house is small, but I have a nice bedroom. I have a very small living room, but I have space.

And if I was renting this as a house, dude, the money I'd be paying right now would be insane. It'd be like maybe $2,000, $3,000 if I was renting this. Yeah, yeah. I was like, there's no way. There's no way that should cost that much. The place that you're at would easily be like 27 to 2,900, I think. Yeah, insane. It makes no sense.

No sense at all, dude. It's, it's, I actually, so I just got my oil changed. I just got my oil changed. And the guy he saw my, my license, because he was just asking for my information for the, they write all that shit down. He's like, oh, like, you're coming up from Vegas. I'm like, well, yeah, I mean, I lived here and coming back. And then so then he asked the question.

So, you know, the price difference. Like, how is it? And then I just laughed. I just laughed. I'm like, you really don't want to know, like, how much better it is everywhere else, essentially. And then living here. Yeah.

Like, I could, I could. I was saying, I don't remember who the fuck I was talking to. I was saying I was some of my friends. And I was saying, man, I almost want to, like, kidnap you guys. Success starts with your drawing. and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward.

Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today?

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number.

Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm,

thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. And like, just have everybody, just convince everyone. everyone to move to Nevada. Like, let's just go to Vegas and we can live like kings. Like, we can live like, we'll live like kings among just the peasants that live in this fucking area.

Go to like Miss Missoula in fucking, that's like a city in Montana. And you can live, you can live like a king in a city up there. It's fucking, I mean, that is true. I want to go to Midwest so bad. I just, there is, there is. Like, if I would go with my friends, I would be. problem going there. I'd be like there'd be no problem going there. Yeah, but there would be no reason to go there.

No one wants to leave. Yeah. Well, no one wants to go to. We'll still have everything. You won't though. If we're all together, it would not matter. We would still enjoy where we live. You'd still have all the amenities we need. So here's the reality of that, right? It's like people are going, like, we are getting older, right? And eventually, we will all hang out for the last time and not know that that's the last time. Because like we're going to have kids. or, well, I don't know, you guys. And that kind of thing, that will happen. And eventually, then you're like in the Midwest with fucking nothing else at all. And so that's kind of the issue, really.

It's not necessarily that like the Midwest would be fine. If all of my friends were in the Midwest, I'd have a great time. Yeah, if we all moved that, I think it would be a perfectly fine idea. But we got like, what, four more years of that maybe? Max? I don't think so. Before like, before crazy shit starts happening.

Dude, think about our friend Elliot who's like had, he dropped off the face of the fucking earth. Because he has a kid. We haven't seen. And it makes sense. We haven't seen Elliot because of the fact that Elliot was more totally tied to Joe and Joe moved. That's what we haven't seen Elliot. Sure, I guess. I'm still.

I know people, I know, I know people in their fucking 30s and 40s that like play magic with me. And they're like a grown ass, I was like, I see my friend. like once a week. Obviously sometimes that's get cut short because of the kids. But like I still see my friends as long as you make time for it. You just have to make time. Your wife has to understand like hey, I'm going to need my days to do what I'm

going to do. Obviously you have kids that might get fluctuated. But you still can go enjoy yourself. What we need What we need is is what I can't say on the air anywhere because we'll get flagged

by like, you know, the government or whoever the fuck is paying attention. But I'll put it this way. I just, I think, you know, some people should go. Is it is the long and short of it.

But I'm not saying, I'm not saying anything crazy. I'm not saying anything crazy. I'm just like maybe just take a vacation, leave. I think about, I think about 2020 Puerto Rico all the time. I think about 2020 in Puerto Rico all the fucking time. When they wheeled that fucking guillotine up to the mayor's office,

I think about that every single day, I think. And he ran, they, the bear ran the fuck away. I'm like, yo, why? Whatever. Whatever. Because we're America and we're way bigger. And if we do that, our cops will go. But they'll be like jack, pot.

And they'll run into the street with fucking AK spinning. I actually don't think that's true. I actually think we're just really pacified. Like, I think, I think everything is so much worse. But we have a lot of distractions compared to people. people like back, like people in the civil rights era just did not have like, they couldn't just dick away for like 24 straight hours on their phone being distracted by fucking cocoa melon or whatever it is, whatever the fuck it is that people are watching now.

I agree and I disagree. That's what it is. Oh. I think we have basic comforts. We have basic comforts that we didn't have. The problem is that we are not going through anything strenuous enough forever for them of huge murderous to be like, yeah, we got to do something about it. Yeah, but here's the thing about that.

You're gay. Because we are pacified, but like think of it, because they were going through shit that, like, they weren't getting treated like humans. We're getting basic human amenities, air quotes. Right, right. But, like, you didn't hear my point. Yeah, you didn't hear my point, though. I said you're gay, and so I win. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. That is true. That is very true. So what? So. Yeah, so. Xbox Live days.

Let's go. Xbox live. Xbox is pretty much gone now. What are we? He played it so bad. So what do we want to talk about? There's a couple of things to get into. But I wanted to let you guys steer the ship here.

Oh, yeah. I got one already. Yeah. We got to talk about it. So one thing really sad. Tyree's Parliament member reportedly stole a bill and ran away with it, you know. Huh? Because, you know, they're trying to eat Taiwan.

So a Taiwanese parliament member literally grabs the bill out of a Chinese office, a Chinese parliament member's hand and ran off with it. Okay. All right. Look, I want to explain something real quick to the viewers listening. So before every one of these recordings, we have, we don't have like a serious meeting. Sometimes we do. But usually we meet up before the show and say like, hey, so what are we going to?

going to talk about. Like we have a general idea. Sometimes it's nothing and we just decide like we're going to wing it. We're going to just improv or whatever. But sometimes there's stuff that we're like, okay, we're going to talk about this and this. And then we agree. And it's like, okay, cool, we're going to talk about this, this and this. Right. And then we start the show and we talk about those things. I have no idea what you just said. You did not mention that at all. I was tossing it over to you guys. I just saw it on Dextone. It's insane. It's wild. This poor man. This poor man. This poor. man like did a full he did a full full press with the fucking parliament

and he made it through everybody he got away that poor country's doomed but uh other than that we can talk about ditty i guess okay we'll start with uh start with ditty i don't actually i'm not caught up yeah what he do now is uh so we've been on a ditty hunt for a little while if you guys don't know who's butt ditty for ditty so uh we guys don't know ditty or revealed that a lot of people have been coming forward for years, in fact, saying a bunch of really

sketched about Pete Ditty. Right. Come to find out pretty much everything everybody's been saying for years came to light. And just today, there's a video of P. Diddy running down a hallway with a fucking towel on only grabbing and beating the living fuck out of Cassie. Who's Cassie? It's really, really, really sad. but this is probably the final

there was no violent acts shown against him for years but now they got him Who's Cassie? You want to explain who Cassie is? You know? Cassie is a young famous artist She was a famous artist back in the day

She made a few songs Very attractive Filipino Black singer If you listen to R&B in the early 2000s You might have heard her But she was a PDD's girlfriend For like maybe like 13, 14 years She's also way younger than him.

He started to make me as she was 17, and he's been dating her since pretty much then, and it's like, uh, classic, you're weird, Diddy. You're weird, Diddy.

That's what they do. But there's a video of him beating the living shit out of her. And it's like, wow, man. In like a, in like a hotel, like,

in that section of, in that section of, it's not a lobby. It's like that section of every single hotel floor where the elevators meet, you know, like there's that kind of like little like pseudo-lo. Bobby that just like platform where all the elevators are.

And it's just Pete Diddy in like a towel. Just throwing shit at her and beating her up. It's fucking crazy. Just wailing on her. Whaling on a poor girl. Yeah. That's pretty cool. So he's got in the chat right now direct so you can see it.

He's going on. He's not. Did he? It's over. It's over. Yeah, he's, uh, what is this? Why isn't this a hyperlink? Why can't I click on this?

Oh, really? Is that hyperlink? Is that, no, it's not a high link. What is my, is that my issue? What the hell's going on here? No, it's my show. No, I see it too. I should try to post it again.

Okay. Yeah, I don't even know how that happened. No, it's not working okay. If you literally just tweet, if you, if you search Twitter for Pete Diddy, it's like the first thing that comes up, really. So you don't have to really search. It's, it's pretty obvious. It's, it's repeated a million times. It's wild.

It's a, it's a pretty stunning display. So, I don't. I don't know, man. That's our buddy, our buddy, our buddy, our homie. God be crazy. It's so sad, too, because she's, it's so sad because there's stories about him, like, constantly doing that. This isn't even remotely the first time. And it's like, damn. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess nothing's going to surprise us at this point. Nothing's going to surprise at this way. It's just going to keep going. We're just going to find out more dumber and dumber shit that's happening. or I'm waiting for him to like, you know, he's going to pull out a corpse or something. He's like dug up someone's grave. You know, somebody that he really hates and he's probably going to beat that up or so. Like, there's going to be no limit to what he's going to do. He's going to do something so stupid and it's going to also have been filmed.

And I'm waiting for that point. I'm waiting for the thing where it's like it's so cartoonishly evil. It's going to be like, like, we finally. And we killed Biggie. And I'm like, yeah, we knew it. finally is 100%. The thing that's crazy. Everybody knows he killed Biggie.

Everybody knows he did it somehow. He was involved with it. Now we just need to find the last speckle of proof that he did it. And we're all able to go to bed after that. There's video of him doing it. Killing Biggie? Yeah.

There's a video. It's from whatever the year that it happened, there's like CCTV footage. It's from whatever year happened, whatever time and over city. Yeah, I don't remember exactly when because I don't, I don't really, I mean, obviously. I don't follow hip hop culture really.

But I knew about this because it was like trending. It was on the news where like there's a video of Biggie. Success starts with your drive. An American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion,

our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. APU.orgia.org. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said $20 billion. One. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered.

It's actually, I think, somewhere north, closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Is it for the people.com for an office near you?

Outside of a Ben and Jerry's. And he's just kind of, he's laughing and licking. And then Pete Diddy cartwheels over him and flattens him entirely. It's like really quick. And it wasn't until, like, I think, like, they got the high-speed cameras involved where they could actually see it. Because he, he was on, Diddy was on the on footage for, like, maybe five frames. Like, he cartwheeled so fucking fast.

Crushed Biggie into a thin paste. and everybody was like, yo, what the fuck happened? He did it so quickly that nobody was sure. Even in the footage, his face is kind of blurry, but he's wearing a name tag that says, hello, my name is Pete Ditty,

so it's kind of wild. It's just a wild video. I really highly suggest looking up that video. It might be, you might have a difficult time finding it because they've scrubbed the internet of it, but it's real.

I saw it with my own two eyes. I didn't have my glasses on, but I saw it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're right. I forgot that that actually was the true story. That was the real thing that happened. I'm glad you reminded me of that because it was something that kind of slipped the mind. You know, it was somewhat of a cultural zeitgeist and we kind of just forgot about it. And I'm glad you're bringing it back up to the forefront of our minds. And we need to really examine that. And you know, I will say it is a little bit weird that there is not nobody is talking about it in their P-Ditty videos, all these video essays that have been coming out. So like they're really dropping. the fucking ball, dude. Yeah, it's, it's pretty fucking embarrassing.

But, you know, he's talking about P.DiDi's flattening power. Everybody's ignoring it. That's why he's doing, he's doing, I mean, that's why famously, he's do, famously in every single P.DDDD music video, he's always doing a cartwheel and he opens every music video by saying, we, look at me, I'm doing a cartwheel. You know, the evidence was always there. We just, yeah, he always sprinkled it in.

He just didn't care to look for it. Subliminally. Yeah, he's always sprinkling the shit. Cartwheel. Cartwheel. And it keeps a thought keeps playing. Can, okay, so.

Real question. Real question. What? Is there anything? There's something about, like, okay, somebody like P. Diddy,

or like anybody trying to put up like a, like a gangster persona, right? If there was video of them doing a cartwheel, do you feel like that kind of, damages that image. Like if there was an image, if there was a video of anybody who was like, like if there was a video of Tupac and Kurt doing a cartwheel,

do you think that that would like diminish his, like his, his, his image and someone. You got to end it with a backflip. You got to end it with a backflip. A little bit. Yeah, you can't end it on some,

you can't end it on week stuff. You end up a backflip. Yeah. You got to like a cartwheel and then to like, because you can do like a roundoff into like, a backflip and that's always pretty late, you know? But you can't do like a cartwheel. Anything that ends in a backflip is pretty, is pretty, yeah, it's too, it's like a second grader.

Like, well, first of all, everybody can do a cartwheel. I don't know. Like, it's, it's not really that difficult at all. So, like, it's not impressive for somebody to do a cartwheel in the first place. But also, it's just kind of, it's flowery. There's something about it that's not very, it's not very masculine. It's very childish to me more, more than it. anything.

Because when we were kids, we would do gymnastics all the time. But as an adult, the last time I did a cartwheel, like, I almost pulled a fucking my groin. It was kind of crazy. Like, you don't really. Yeah, you don't really realize because, like, it's not things that adults do very often. And when you're trying to, and not like a shitty cartwheel where your legs are like bent and stuff and they're not, I'm talking about a legitimate cartwheel where you're extending.

Like a real one. Like your fucking limp. Yeah. Like doing that. The girl is rolling to the side. Yeah. Doing that shit fucking, it fucked my groin up. I was like, oh, I didn't.

I was like, ow, that hurt. It just kind of made me realize how not limber and stuff. I know. I did one recently in my living room just to see, because I had that thought. I was like, can I still do that? I haven't done that in like a really long time. And I was like, I wonder if like I'm still, I can. But I did notice that it like.

it didn't hurt. It didn't hurt really, but there was like 1% more, or like 5% more discomfort than there normally would be than I remember. And I was like, oh, I'm getting old.

Yeah. It's over. Yeah. When you go for, like, when you sprint and you sit down and you're fucking, you feel your fucking whole groin's tight

because you didn't stretch before you sprinted. So your groin's like, ow, why did I, why did I just take off like that? I'm not supposed to do that anymore. Yeah. You got a stretch, man.

Trust. stretch you got to stretch man if you don't stretch as an adult you are going to hurt yourself you're going to hurt yourself and you're going to be like all i had to do was stretch to not do this that is where you're going to end up that dude i went years without stretching like sincerely like they were like i think until like when i started doing the boxing training i realized that i hadn't stretch i hadn't like really stretched since like since i moved to l.A. probably like really like truly that's kind of crazy that's kind of crazy did you stretch this on like firecrackers No, it just was very clearly

Like I lost a lot of like the flexibility that I that I used to have You know And it was just like damn That's crazy It's all gone Flex your hip flexors man Those are number ones man Hip flexors man

Do your 90 90s man Your 90s man Your 90 Pretty much the rotes yeah Where you like you put like one leg as a 90 and you like flip a leg each side Oh yeah yeah You make one leg like point inward and one leg points outward Then you do that over and over again

You said inward. Doing like that. That shit helps the fuck out of your tips, man. Whatever. What else is? Fuck you. Fuck you. If you're trying to be healthy,

fuck you. You're gay. Being healthy is dumb and gay. Yeah, man. I don't get why anybody want to do it. Don't do all that shit that you're going to work so hard for what? For what? Just fucking.

Yeah, so you can be fit as a ghost? Yeah. So you can be fit as a ghost? Stupid Yeah You know, did we talk about the guy Did we talk about that guy who fucking That's true, yeah

Did you Did we talk about that guy though Who was making the rounds on Twitter Because he was shoving a gas pump up his ass And jerking it outside at a gas station Did we talk about that? No No

Is that real or you just fucking It is real I'm not kidding say that like me why you talked about that. Because if, all, first of all, Kingston, Derek, of all the people that I speak to who would even know of such a thing, you are the most likely people. I'm not asking this question to fucking Gabby or Paul or like any of my normal friends who are like reasonably well adjusted. I ask it to you people because this is the kind of stuff that you would see. Well, relatives.

They have like jobs in the. outside of this bullshit sector. That's kind of what I consider it to be normal. True. Yeah, I guess we won't. All right. Let me see if I can. Let's see if I can.

You can find it. You guys are going to be so disappointed when you see this. Oh, yeah, here it is. First thing. Is it? Oh, yeah. I had it like on lock. Wow, it's crazy.

There it is. If you search, just to give you guys an idea, I searched just the word gas pump on Twitter, and it was the first thing. So here it is. This man is built... Wait, why is that not a hyperlink either? Yeah, what the hell's going on?

What is happening? Oh, you know what it is, I bet? What is happening? So I know what's happening. Because you remember how... So Elon officially changed it from Twitter to X.com. So it's no longer Twitter,

and now the links are broken, I bet. But if you copy paste that, or if you just search gas pump on Twitter, you'll find it. It's the first video from Shardi, at Shardy Jr. And, uh, bro. This man is built like, this man is, this guy's built like a Jim Henson person.

He's built like a fucking Muppet. It's the weirdest. He's the weirdest looking person I think I've ever seen. But, uh, you saw him take this whole gas pump out of his ass. That's crazy. He back is wild to me. I hope he gets devoured. This guy's beaten up.

That's so crazy. Just broad daylight at a gas station. It almost seems like he, it almost seems like he kind of snaps out of it. Like, or is it because he got caught? I don't understand because like he's about to. He got smacks the hard lightning showed up and he was like, Macdonorbo. That Middle East guy got smacked on.

Oh, right, right, right, Whitney. Oh. Put your dick in your pants. He fucking smacks the shit out of him. He woke him up. He woke him back. He pulled him out of the trench. He woke him up.

He fucking woke his ass up And the dude starts walking away Then he kicks him down the stairs Because he was He didn't know he didn't know the whole con he was being controlled He didn't know he was being controlled So he was like oh man I'm sorry brother I didn't mean to kick you

But you were you know your dick was out And he's like I understand my dick was out But I was being hypnotized You should have gave me a second I was putting my dick away I don't know man I have never been I have never once been compelled

To jerk off in public I don't know what that I don't know what would compel a person to do this a fucking pervert that's it that's it there's only because like I understand public sex like I understand like the the adrenaline the the the riskiness like I understand why people do shit like that right but the jerking off thing is just I it's kind of it's it doesn't serve the same purpose like where oh like let's see we'll be naughty together like this is almost like an expedition or whatever But I guess some people maybe they're in that same classification, but I feel like it's just mostly pervert.

I mostly think of like trench coat people that are naked. Success starts with your drive. An American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop.

You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.apus.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan.

I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. $1.20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365.

Wow. Dan Morgan from Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. Yeah. The trench coat people. Do you think they have like... Okay, so not that I'm trying to provide strategies for this, but do you think, I feel like it would be very, very effective in some way for you to be able to like... Well, no, they would have to be naked under the trench coat, wouldn't it? Because I was thinking you could, like, flash with a trench coat, but then you'd have clothes underneath. That way you could, like, run around the corner, throw the trench coat in the garbage or something.

And then just me anders, that wasn't me. That was somebody else. Almost like Spider-Man steals his own pizzas at the beginning of Spider-Man, too, where it's like, oh, yeah, it's not the same guy. That's a completely different person. I'm not in trouble. And so you'd have, like, a closet full of trench coats. Like single-use trench coats. I know what you can do

You have a thin backpack Like strapped onto you That has a change of clothes Thin Fing Right And then you put the trench coat over you So you're naked but with only a backpack And a trench coat on So then you flash you do your thing

You run around the corner Throw the trench coat away Right And then you put the clothes on And you're like Oh you went that way You know And then that's it

You're good I like that you have somebody doing that But they're really slow And like they're very like They tend take like 30 minutes to put their clothes on and then like they approached the person that they just flashed like 30 minutes ago and they're like hey I saw that guy who flashed you he went that way I guess the problem is wait is there a disguise hopefully the face is disguised in some way

because they might actually recognize it's the same it's the same face no no no you you have no it's shadowy it's a shadowy it's a shadowy face you don't know exactly what the face is And that gives it way, they know who it is then. They know who the throw our way of clothesings are. Yeah, yeah, you got to. You got it. You got to, you got to. You couldn't convince me to take my pants off in public as an adult.

You could not make me. There's no money you can give me. I will say I have been, I've been beat off in public, but like my dick wasn't out. My hand was down my pants. But I was in public. So that did happen. I've never I don't I don't want that shit happening in public I feel like I don't know it's pretty cool

It's pretty cool It's pretty cool It's too risky It is risky but the way that I did it wasn't risky The way that I did it wasn't risky That was actually It was very stealthy Just you know

Hand goes down my pants And then the only bad part is Fucking busting in your pants It's a That part sucks Wait wait wait wait hold on my pants Hard wait I missed I missed something What are you are you saying you like

You jerked off in public before No, so I've been jerked off him because he was so so Kingsden was saying that he can never take his pants off in public and and I agree and he said he can never do anything like that too risky and I was like well I've been jerked off in public but it was my hand down my pants not taking because I'm not going to take my dick out right like to pull my dick out of public. That's insane. That's crazy. But like stealthly like you know in a way like that it that happened to me one time and it's cool except for like the finish because then it's like I have come on my pants I'm too cognizant I think I'm too cognizant of the of the mess of the finish that I'm like I can't do this outside of my I can't do this outside of my own home man like this is not yeah it's just not it's not worth it I mean never again it's too much I never again I mean what about how do you feel about like a how do you feel about a movie theater because it's not like it's kind of You know, it's dark.

Oh, I beat off every movie I watch. Yeah, yeah. And me too, actually. Actually, when we went to see Spider-Man, when, yeah, when Kicksa and I went to see Spider-Man, we were the only two people in the theater, we were just jerking off. It was pretty crazy.

We weren't near each other, obviously respectfully. Yeah, yeah, we weren't near each other. We, we weren't near each other. We had two, we had one seat in between us. That was empty. So we weren't close to each other. And you guys were in it. It's like, you know what it's a beam clash?

You know what it's like a beam clash in Dragon Ball? It was like that what our master beating orders, like, clashing against each other. Yeah, yeah. That's crazy. You guys were sitting, like, all the way in the very first seats. So you had to look almost, like, almost 90 degree up to see the fucking movie. Yeah. Beating off the Spider-Man, too.

There is almost nothing sexual about that movie, dog. Yeah. Literally nothing. Yeah. I was trying to think of one. Maybe when Aunt May fell. Maybe the most sexual moment of that movie. Maybe.

There's, yeah, it's probably the least. I can probably get up in there. Doc Gak has a shirt off. Of those movies. That's true. You're right. Doc Gok has a shirt off. Maybe you can get a little bit of blood in your dick with that.

Just a little bit of like, just a little. There's the tentacles, the arms. The arms do a little bit for me, you know. That is probably sexual to some people. That is very true. That's actually very true. Oh, those tentacles, man. He can't control them.

They control him. What about that face he makes when, like, M.J. is about to be crushed. And, like, and then Peter makes that face. He screams and makes that face. I think that was kind of like a little hot, you almost reminds you of, like, nutting. Do you scream when you nut? He makes some faces, bro. I mean, you don't?

Yeah. I don't. I don't. You don't, you know, you don't when you're fucking a girl, you're about to come, you put your head right on her, right on the back of her head while her hair is and scream into her fucking head and hair. Just wail into her head and then push her off you and sit down and cry. Put her off of you to cry. Dude, I gotta say, Jojo fucking, Jojo makes me self-conscious because two different times,

one time she said I sounded like Batman and another time I said, sound like a Frenchman. And I'm like, dude, that's not because I like, oh. And I'm like, bro, what the fuck are you talking about? And then so now I'm kind of curious where I'm like, I need to fucking record myself. I would just not sleep with me. I'd be so embarrassed. I'm like, all right, no more.

I'd be like, oh yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. This is awesome. For real, dude. Fuck me in my ass. Yeah.

I'm ready. I like to do impressions. I'm ready to try. Yeah, that's, that's, yeah, yeah. You do, you do, you do, I'm like, I'm like, I'm going to come. I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm coming.

I hate this so fucking much. I'm going to come. It really is like that. You know, it's how we sound too. I'm going to come. You know that's how he sounds too. Absolutely. We know all jury sample fucks.

Yeah. I only, in fact, I'm the only one in the situation making any noise whatsoever every single time. And it's always my hilarious impressions, you know, and I can feel it. I ducked my bitch's mouth. It's crazy because like it works really well. And you know it works really well when, you know, it starts, you know, it starts. you know, it starts drying up. You know what I mean?

It starts to get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Start getting. Now, I know that's working. I'm really getting this bitch. Yeah, yeah. I'm really getting this bitch. Feels tighter like the friction and stuff.

You're like, now you're really getting into it. Yeah, that's what. That's real shit right there. Success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion,

our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident. Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. What are you doing? There was something else that we were, there was something else. You're doing great. We want to talk about, by the way.

Big is crows. read. What? Yeah, so before we, before we, before we jump into that, I do want to. Get out of the camera, Derek. I don't think we fully explained. I just want to apologize for the audio. If you've made it this far, me and Derek are in the same place, obviously.

If you were watching the video, you would have seen that. But if you have audio issues, forgive us. It's temporary. But I don't want to hear about it is all I'm saying. So if you, if you complain about it, we will ban you, we will kill you, we will find you, we will steal your identity, we will frame you for all sorts of crimes. So don't comment about the audio. Because I will not stand for it. Okay.

Yeah. It's, uh, it's anyway. Yeah, the audio might be a little bit weird, but, you know, I'll make it work. I'm going to put it together and hopefully it'll be very smooth. But if it's not yet, like Chris said, fuck you. so uh yeah yeah so uh

so assassin's creed black yeah black yeah what are we real black flag what are we feeling uh I gotta tell you man so

I gotta tell you um if they weren't doing what they were doing this angle I probably wouldn't even care about it like say if it was just

random fucking Japanese hero or something, I kind of be like, well, it's not going to be better than Gosa Tsushima. So should I even bother fucking playing this thing? Like there's no shot. It's going to be better. This angle where they're going with Yoske and some other broad piques my interest. It's like, oh, this is kind of cool.

This seems interesting because I didn't give a fuck about Mirage. Like, I didn't care about that guy because he was a big part of the previous one, the Viking one. Valhalla. And I didn't care about him. He did nothing for me. Valhalla actually was very underwhelming. So I was like, I was pretty much done with Assassin's Creed.

To me and a lot of people apparently stopped at Odyssey. They're like anyone who was like into the series. They were like, yeah, I kind of played Odyssey because I like that Greek shit. And then after that, I just couldn't fucking care anymore. A lot of people stopped way before that, which is totally fair enough. But anyway, I like it.

And then I just saw the discourse, which I see all the time. And it's, it annoys me that, because I know where it's coming from. We know where it's coming from. Because it's even outside of the gaming, if you mention Yaske and people call him a samurai, there's all these people that claim to be historians or whatever the fuck to be like, excuse me, he's not a samurai. And so I'm like, I notice they don't do that for other people where there's like questionable like roles where they're in. Yeah.

And I'm like, they just. really give a fuck about this black dude that was with Oda Nobunaga and where his role in from from what I've looked up was very important maybe not give him the role of a samurai but the role of a protector somebody who is very like valued and some people would even try to dispute that but and so it's carried over to a Sassas I looked into it too. Yeah. I looked into it a lot of because I was like, wonder why people were getting so upset about it, right?

Yeah. So what happened is that from the time he existed, they didn't really call people that were like of that class samurai yet. He was a little before that. Uh-huh. He was a bushy, which means a warrior. He was 100% a warrior.

It doesn't mean he was a samurai exactly. Like every samurai is a bushi, when every bushy's a samurai. So I'd like how every toads a frog, every night frogs a toe type thing. Yeah, no what you mean, yeah. So he was someone that held the,

well, held a Nobunaga's sword, and he was a trained warrior with land, a bejeweled whole, like a whole sepuku, like bejoled katam, Tanto and everything. Like he was a trained warrior with a katana. He had its own armor and everything. He was loved by the guy. And it's like, but he's not a samurai.

Don't give him that title. And it's like, no, he's probably better off than any samurai was. Well, he had a great position. He was like one of King. He was like one of King Arthur's like, dudes of like Nobunaga's group. He was like one of the people that sat beside him and helped him to say side shit.

And it's like, because I'm Japanese aren't mad about it. Like people in Japan are tweeting. Of course they're like, yeah, this is cool. They've never been. That character is a really cool character. Yeah. Brother, brother, I just, I came across the post.

Yeah, totally. Absolutely. I came across the post too. I got to say this. That somebody was saying that, oh, the Japanese people are speaking out about it. And like it was just like a Japanese calligraphy and people exposed like this guy's,

this guy's not Japanese first and foremost. It was a whole thing. It's a whole propaganda thing that's happening. It's so dumb. And every time this happens, it doesn't matter which side it's coming from. And it has to do a Japanese culture or anything, they go.

People on the streets go and ask regular Japanese people about these culture war issues. And 100% of the time, they're always like, yeah, it's cool. That's cool. Every single time. Remember this happening with fucking Ghost in the Shell and what the fuck's her name?

Scarlet Johansson? Scott Johanson. Like, how do you feel about this? Like, oh yeah, she's great. She's beautiful. Like, that's cool. Like, they don't give a fuck. And every time.

Like the whole kimono thing, people are like, oh, it's weird to wear kimono. Oh, yeah. The cultural appropriation, they're looking at you because people don't wear kimonos either. They think it's cool you're wearing it.

They're not looking at you to make you feel bad. They're like, oh, that's sick. Someone's wearing that. We have such a myopic view of a lot of that stuff. It's so America-centric that, like, people often forget. Like, I feel like, I feel like everybody, especially the like the far right and the far left, I think they forget that other countries exist.

They're very, like, their world is very like America centric where it's like, this is like, this is like an offensive thing to do. It's like, oh my God, Scarlet Johansson. This is this, this is not okay. And it's like, they don't care. Like, they really don't give a shit. And no one, and that's the right attitude. No one should care about this kind of thing. It's like, so what?

Like, I don't. The idea, well, first of all, like, the idea that it's about historical accuracy with Assassin's Creed is fucking hysterical. Like, I can't even begin to... We talked about it on stream a little bit, Sweeney and I, but like, dude, like, Leonardo da Vinci did not build a fucking Renaissance tank in Ezzio Adore's time for an assassin. It would be fair. Like, that didn't have... To be fair. What?

He had some blueprints. There were schematics for it. had some blueprints, but he also built them fucked up to make sure that they couldn't actually be built. Yeah. So what I'm saying is, like, they stretched historical fact for fictional purposes

is the point of that, and that's what Assassin's Creed is, it's historical fiction. George Washington did not help a Native American assassin. Okay? Like, that's not real. I don't know. Shot him in the face. Yeah, and even even just the

depiction of George Washington, George, George Washington was unequivocally. Like, he was very clearly crazy. Like, he was a lunatic. He was, he had lead teeth for most. Like, he's not sane. He's not a sane person. Apparently he was a ginger too.

So, like any, any, any, he, ew. That's definitely, they definitely whitewashed the hell out of that. For good reason. It's like, we cannot have a redhead as our first president. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. I feel actually like, you know what's... That's crazy.

You know what's crazy? I actually just realized we've never... Like, we just... We've never had... Have we ever had a ginger president? Maybe in our younger years, but none of... I feel like no one, like, during presidency, maybe. I just don't think that would ever work, because I think they were...

I think they were cursed. I think they were, like, you know what I'm saying? way that, I mean, I guess they're still treated the same way. But I think that was a legitimate thing that they were worried about. Like, Ginger people were, they were like demonic or something. So no. And I think there's still some superstition, because obviously in Hollywood, we always see that weird thing. It's happened too many times to not be deliberate, right? Or they just, they get replaced. There's no, there's no shot that that is, like, oh, coincidence. Coincidence.

Well, it's just crazy to me because, like, I, I'm really racking my brain. I cannot, I cannot, nothing's coming to mind as far as, like, ginger presidents or ginger vice presidents. Like, I don't, like, the fact that we had a black president and a female vice president before we had a ginger version of either is kind of insane. Like, that's kind of wild to me. That's not funny. Are they the secret? So, let me, redheads. Are they the secret, like, are they the ones who are, maybe we don't perceive them as getting the most shit?

But how do I, how do I word this? This is a difficult concept to kind of flesh out. But, like, compared to the shit that they get versus the shit that is obvious that they get, I feel like they're probably one of the bigger ones. Because I don't think that your average. really get shit anymore. I don't think they used to get shit I don't think it's conscious. I don't think they consciously get shit.

But like... I don't get shit at all. I don't know, man. I disagree. Like who really, who really fucks with redheads now? Well, Kingson, do you remember,

do you remember like that story about like, I can't remember exactly where it might have been Africa or somewhere where they found like a dumpsterful ginger babies? That bundle of redheaded children. Yeah. Who does that now? Like, like, I'm talking about like now.

I don't know. Because redheaded girls are like the most fetishized woman on the planet. People love red-haded women. They are. Even I like redded women. I don't really like white women that much. Not the UK. People love red-headed women. Not the UK. Really? Yes, really. Well, UK has like pretty mixed girls. They don't need redheads. They don't need redheads over there.

That's where they're from. They have like so many pretty half black, half white girls over there. That's where they're from. They've moved on. They, specifically in England, uh, genders are very, and it's in the same vein as, uh, if you go Australia. So Australia is pretty racist too, but not like American racist. But like say a lot of Southeast Asian people that move down there, particularly a lot of ties, they are not considered like top tier women. Even if they're fucking gorgeous, they're still kind of like, because, you know, they have all these hyper blonde fucking Australian chicks and that's like the apex what they like over there. And they see like, yeah, they see like, yeah, they're

as the other, and that's how, like, England would treat red-headed women. And it's probably a historical thing because of, like, warring between, you know, Ireland and Scotland and shit like that throughout the ages. So I think it's just historical prejudice. And it's fucking weird, man. It's weird. But, yeah, there is, but you're right about the fetishization. You're right about that. I just realized, I didn't think of it until you said that.

I don't think I've ever dated a blonde girl. Or even been with somebody who's blonde. I never have either. Never dated a blonde girl. Never dated a blonde. Yes, you have. Died blonde. Died blonde. Not naturally blonde.

Oh, well, died blonde. Yeah. But like, that's, that doesn't count. I think that's different. That doesn't count.

I've never even, I've never dated a girl a blonde hair ever. I've slept up blonde hair, girls. I've never dated blonde hair my life. Yeah, I mean,

me, I'm trying to think before. Because they were really, you know, my wife and my ex. Your wife. You're, I, I,

I'm trying to think before. I was trying to think before that. I think it's just that, just that, and then everything else was up. Your girlfriend before your wife. That's what I'm saying. I was saying, yeah, my wife, my ex, and then before that, I don't think there was any other blondes at all. But there were what you could like freckled bitches though, you know, but not like not red. Otherwise I would have said redhead or ginger or whatever the fuck.

But yeah, it's the colors of rainbow, man. I've, I've dated women darker than you, Kingston. like I never did the girl's dark as me you know I've done a couple When I lived in L.A. That my

The you know That the demographic guy I shared it was That was That was a fun time I would say though That was probably my last Bastian of like being

Wanting to just I love being single When I lived in L.A. Around 2019 Sorry not 2019 2009 2010 And that was just like

Right Fucking I don't know Girls around there just fucking insane. It was a good time. But then I'm like,

I just want, I want to be a regular person. I don't want to fucking be some fucking weirdo that's just smashing everything that moves. It was fun though. Yeah, it's not,

it's, yeah, that's like a get it out of your system type thing. Like that ain't, that ain't something that you're meant to carry on for the rest of your life. When I was just around that phase, right.

I was around that phase. Because when I was, when I was, before we moved to New York, that's what I was trying to, I was trying to fuck every girl I could say hello to me and I did pretty good

I got a few bodies and then I moved L.A. And I was like, all right. And I met Lillian. I was like, you seem like a person that like, you seem like a forever person and I know that if I don't stay with you and make a good life with you

and be like, dang, I could have had someone that was fantastic to be my partner and I just let them pass me by. You see, it was the opposite for me when I went to L.A., I think. Because when I came from New York, yeah, because I had come out of something that I thought was that.

You know what I mean? At the time. And I was like, all right, well, fuck this. I'm going to stop. And I moved into a new place across the country. And I was like, all right. Time to rack up some points. Because I missed out on all that stuff

when I was like a lot younger. Because I was like romantic, like a retard. But. Yeah, romance is not for young, young people. It's just not for young people. No, no, no. I know people that met their girlfriends at seventh grade and they're still with them.

Of course. Of course. The exception. The exception. That exists too. That shit is rare as fuck. Don't get me wrong. He's the only person I know is like that.

My friend Shiv met his, my Indian friend whose parents are super not into like into world. They probably are now. I think they're okay with it now because they know her. But he met his girlfriend in seventh grade. Now he should be like 27. And they've just been together for that long. Like straight across.

And they're like like, yeah, I have some of that. I have some of that in my family. My niece and nephew actually both. met somebody really early on and they're like basically married at this point. They've been together for like seven years. It's good. It saves you a lot of bullshit.

It saves you a lot of bullshit. Yeah. It definitely. It definitely. Yeah. It's not, uh, wasn't the ideal path. But whatever. The thing is that like those, those moments you got to understand.

You got to understand the person you're with for sure. Because sometimes, you know, you're with somebody like that. And then you're like, oh, I haven't experienced my life yet or anything like that, which is like, yeah, that's true. You know, one partner forever could be daunting for some people. But it's just like, that also means you could have found someone you just. Because I know people that have been like that. They found girls they like for me. They've been there for like 14 years, right?

And you're like, they hit their 30s and they're like, I don't know, man. The same girl forever feels kind of weird for like I'm missing out. And they go and they leave that woman. And they're like, oh, every other woman sucks because I grew up with this woman together. as a partner. Right, right. And now they just lost that part of they had. And it's like, what, you're an idiot. Yeah. Yeah, I do, I do think though that it is something, I do think though, on some level that, I don't know, man, I think because you're coming from a perspective where like you've done it, I'll put it this way. I think everybody, if they haven't done that,

they will reach a point where they will be like, oh shit. You know, and it will, it will get in the way. it will get in the way of whatever it is they're fucking experiencing, I think. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion,

our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU. you. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each

year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. What do you mean? Like they'll start questioning?

Yeah. I think it's just, I think it's just, I think it's just natural to be curious about like the world around you. And there are people like they reach their 40s and their hair starts falling out and they're like, oh, fuck, fuck. How much time do I have? And then it starts getting, I've seen it happen like a lot. And I think it's why I think it's like it's something. Some people don't, right? Some people just don't care.

But I do think it is something that is like, it is a natural curiosity and it's best, if you feel like that's even part of you, I think it's best to just get that out of the way. as early as humanly possible. Because there will be a point where it will get into way. I think for me at this point, that's not something that I think about ever anymore because I know the experience. But I know for a fact that it was like, oh man, I don't know.

Like at some point I remember being like, I don't know if I want this for the rest of my life. What the fuck? And to be fair, I was right. What it turns into is like, it turned into the idea is like, they're learning some of a stupid-ass movie, right? The dumb-ass movie.

But it's a movie called a movie. think like a man. Stupid-ass movie. Super misogynistic, chauvinistic movie. Steve Harvey's a fucking, he's kind of a shitty guy for writing a book

that's so fucking insanely dehumanizing the women at times. But it's the thing of like the 80-20 split. I respect that one thing, right, out of it. It's like,

you will go and give up a woman that gives you 85% of everything you love, looking for 20%. And then you get to 20%, you know, oh, this bitch is this gives me this one thing that I like, but this person that I was with for years gave me pretty much

everything I needed. And I just had to change a little bit about myself, opposed to someone where it's just like, they're hot. It's really hot. Of course, yeah. I do worry about those people though, who like just, because I feel like they're just waiting, like, I, I don't know, I feel like they're waiting to snap at some point. Like, because I just don't know if people are, I don't know if everybody is built to be so. uncurious. And that's all I'm saying. Like, it's good to have...

I'm... I'm glad that I did it. You know what I mean? Honestly. Even though if it was, like, a mess and it was, like, annoying and it was stressful and, like, it was, like, a lot of mistakes. I'm glad that I did it because I have a better idea of who I am now and what I want. Whereas, like, I... And I'm a natural doubter.

So, like, that would have plagued me for fucking ever. Even if I was, like, super, super confident and, like, super happy. And, like, but, like, you know, that's not bothering me no more. 100%. And so like all I'm saying is And you see it all the time too It's like when when people get divorced After like 15 years

They get divorced and they're like All right fuck it And then they go They go on a spree And then they get fucking Chlamydia and roll around In a fucking gutter and die So

38 years old It's like bro You're amazing Can't fight that anymore Bro You're too old to be having that bro Yeah

Yeah I mean yeah dude That's some real shit right there Some good advice Motherfugugus FOMO fear missing out, all that shit. Grass is greener thing.

I think 100%. You gotta get that shit out of your system if you're one of those people. Not everybody's like that. I know some pretty fucking boring people that just, I know I have met people that don't listen to music. And I thought, are you insane?

But they're just so like, not a curious person. That confuses the hell out of me. I really don't know how people look. Like, there are people that I've spoken to who turn music off in media. that has music. Like they'll play like a video game

and they'll shut the music off. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? That is crazy. But I feel like those people are just milk toast and they are just content with very basic stuff. And I feel like those people would never even have the thoughts of straying because they're like, I got my thing.

I am fucking good. But that's not most people. Most people do want to experience a lot of, like say, even if it's not even specifically about the relationship and like your partner, it could just be the things that you don't do. Like say, oh, maybe you want to travel.

You want to hit all these places. And your other partners, like, I don't really want to travel. And then now you kind of, what do you do? Are you going to be like, fuck you.

I'm going to go travel by myself. It's going to create. Like, all of that shit, brus. That's me and Lily's thing. That's me and Lily's one thing. It's like,

I want to go see Europe. And I'm like, I don't give a fuck about Europe. I don't give a fuck about that place. I don't get a shit. I don't care. I don't care. Like, she's like, I want to go to Spain.

It's like, all we're going to do is go to Spain and feel bad that we are the way we are now because of Spain. That's all we're going to do. All we're going to do is speak Spanish wrong and they're going to look at both of us. She's like, I want to go see Greece. It's like, why? I don't care about but sex. The only, I don't see Rome. I'm like, I just don't care.

I don't care. I don't care. I already know what I'm from history. The only thing I care. I would like to go to, I would like to go to Japan for the food for food, right? That's it. But, like, I don't know if I care to, yeah, I don't know if I'm curious about, like, seeing the Coliseum. Like, it's a, it's a big open room.

Like, I get it. You know, like, no one's going to die there. I don't care. That's the thing. If they were still, if they were still doing the, if they were still doing like the, you know, throw the, throw the Christians at the Lions thing. Like, oh my God, front row seat, VIP, I'm taking dates there. If they were doing the pedophile circuit, I'd be there. I'd be there in a heartbeat.

I'd be there often. Yeah. Easily. You just don't agree. I'm like, hell yeah. But you guys trying to go to London. You guys got to go to Greece this month. You're like, hell yeah, I'm trying to go this month.

I got some extra money. Yeah, whatever. But like, I just don't care. Dude, I want to go to Japan. And I want to, and I want to see the Great Wall of China. And that's it. I could get a fuck out about the Great Wall. Yeah.

Maybe see the pyramids too. And then I don't care anymore. I do want to see the some pyramids. I want to see the pyramid. I want to do a lot of shit. But yeah, I guess it's just. I want to see the. real noses of the sphinxes.

I don't see if they look like mine. They're probably not. Because I don't even have that kind of nose. I'm just going to feel bad. I'm like, dang, man. I feel like the only value I would get out of a trip to the pyramids. I feel like I would have to go with like a partner just to crack jokes the entire time. Like that's like that's like, or just to like riff on everywhere that I am because like that's really the only thing that brings me joy.

To the degree that I would be willing to travel for it. You know what I mean? I don't know. What food is there in Egypt? Like, what are you going to... Just food is pretty good. There's some good meals. It's fine.

I've had Egyptian food and... I've had different types of... Where? Yeah. Where at? I don't remember. Right, right. Okay.

In New York, they're like some... Fair enough. You find everything, dude. Because I've had Moroccan food. It's pretty similar. Or like, just people that speak Arabic, I've had their kind of cuisine. That's delicious.

It's, yeah, it's fine. So I feel at home. Oh, yeah, that's right. You hate pork like a freak. I don't hate pork. I didn't grow up eating it. That is weird. Yeah, that's what I said.

You hate pork. That's not. Okay, yeah, exactly what I said. That's what I said. It's what I said. I want to make sure you get pork later on today. I mean, I'll eat pork.

I don't care. But, like, I just didn't grow up eating it. Yeah. No, I'm going to get you some carnation. My friend makes carnitas and I'm gonna, I'm gonna fucking, I'm gonna bring them over and then I'm gonna convert you. I'm gonna convert you to pork and then you can have more clogged arteries and shit, you know, it'll be fun. And then I won't go to heaven and allow it, be like, what are you doing, Kingston? What are you doing?

Brother, brother. Brother, what are you? Oh, brother. All right. I hate that. You don't really have to move on. What the hell? I was one temple away from becoming Muslim growing up.

Who are you? I'm gonna kill one more temple away. I'm going to blow up this entire apartment. Please don't. With me in it. Yeah, what do we got? What do we got? Let's move on.

Let's do that, actually. Well, yeah. So, okay, so it'll be a little unorthodox. If you're listening, you probably won't notice. But we're going to segue into questions right about now. No, why'd you say that? Why'd you say that? No.

I took a screenshot of it. All right, welcome back. You might not have noticed, but we're recording this on a different day. We're getting to the questions that you guys submitted over at patreon.com slash the snark tank at the $5 and up tier. So thank you guys for all of your support. Let's jump in with a, hmm, hmm. Let's jump into the Taliban. They wrote in.

That was pretty hot. They said, are you ever going to do the most fuckable fruit tier list? Why does this ring a bell to me? Why does this ring a bell? Did we talk about this before? If we did, it must have been very in passing because I don't remember it all. Hmm. Absolutely not.

Wait, wait. You know, we did have one little mention about, I don't remember all the context, but I do remember it was something about something in an apartment and walking in. and a fruit being fucked or something, like an orange being fucked. I don't know if you guys, if that rings a bell at all. There was something, I'm sure the listeners will remember.

I'm jogging their memories right now, but there was something about walking into somebody's apartment and they just finished fucking like a fruit or something like that, like fucking an orange. I just don't remember the context. So that's all I got for you guys. I don't remember. This feels familiar though.

I don't know why. I feel like we said we were going to do this. And then we didn't because it was probably just, It's probably a fake idea. I don't think that was something I don't think that was something we were like, oh yeah,

we're definitely going to do the most fuckable fruit tier list as like a serious thing. I think we were joking. Yeah. Because I have never planned to do this. I'll tell you that much.

What is the most fuckable fruit? I'm thinking about it. Uh, uh, see, the problem is the, the squishiest fruits like have a lot of citrus in them.

It's kind of a, hmm. Because like there's people that, papaya, right? I don't know. No, man, there's people that fuck maybe. Maybe what, maybe like, you kind of just dig a hole in a kiwi and kind of go to town on it.

Maybe. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Wasn't there a whole thing about grapefruit being that? I think I'd never fuck a fruit. I think that'd be it. Well, in general, I don't want to. Because I'd want to eat it.

I'm like, I'm not going to fuck this. I can't you eat this. Right. No, no, there's nothing in me that wants to fuck food. I don't really want to fuck food, so there's that. No. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. Maybe. Maybe someday. Brilliant. This is, this is, this is, this is the correspondence we get when Sweeney was asleep five minutes ago. That is. Let's try and get in.

I'm not the only one here. You guys can figure out some ideas, too. You guys get throws some stuff ideas. Yeah, but like, yeah. Okay. So wait. Hold on. Wait, wait, wait, but hold on. Here's the thing, right? You paint.

I said to you yesterday, hey, can we, are we good for 11? And then you're like, can we push you to two? You're totally right. I just forgot what day it was. I certainly forgot where the day it was. That's it. Yeah. You know, tomorrow is tomorrow. This day it wasn't even a day to remember. You know what? Yeah, I forgot because we usually don't record this day. Usually by this day we're done recording. Of course, but. So it came to this day and I'm like, oh, yeah, we're recording right now.

My apologies. I woke up. Yeah. You know what? Because of that, though, because of the anomaly, of the day that we're recording, the, you know, usually what I do or what normal people do is like, oh yeah, hey, Siri, set alarm for so-and-so,

and then they literally don't have to think about it ever again. And then it's like, you know. Yeah, I don't think about anything. Yeah, I don't think, I don't do, I literally don't even think about brushing my teeth. Hey, Siri, remind me to brush my teeth. And it works. Yeah, me too.

Yeah, because, yeah, I say Siri, make sure I, make sure I, make sure I, remind me the shit today. Remind me to pee and poo. Yeah. Because I will, Did your seat go off? Yeah, it says, it says brush my teeth and it works.

And it's like, okay. They put a reminder for you to brush my teeth. Oh, my fucking God. Thank God, yeah. I feel like I have to brush it. I feel like, honestly, though, I feel like I feel like I have to brush my teeth because I always, like, like, I wake up and I taste that there's something wrong. You know what I mean? I'm just like, I wake up and I need, I need to brush my teeth.

Yeah, like somebody's like busting in your mouth or something. Like you woke up You're like Yeah Every night Every night as I sleep Yeah You feel it

You just be like That's weird That's crazy Why is this every night It's weird Ew You need like You need one of those

Surveillance cameras To see what's happening At night See why that's happening You know Like you might Well I don't really want to know

Oh Okay Yeah Yeah It's like So fuck It's like I don't really

Want to know What they're doing To me It's It's that is... That is a good point. Actually, that actually is a good point.

I think I would be horrified if I found out someone was actually busting in my mouth while sleeping every night. Then it's just being like, oh, maybe it's like acid reflux or something, you know? Like maybe acid reflux did it. It's kind of cummy or something. I don't know. Fuck it. I don't care. Yeah.

All right. So let's move on. Be gay Khalid wrote in. He says, what's up, Snark boys? Got a weird one for you. Have you ever heard of Morocco allegedly offering America an army of 2,000 monkeys to help explode landmines during the invasion of Iraq? I just learned about this. And the idea of a monkey both seeing the effects of and not being able to comprehend landmines absolutely sent me spiraling.

Be easy, my boys. What? I am not aware of this. I will fact check this. Yeah. What are the Moroccans? That sounds fucking great. What do the Moroccans have against the Iraqis?

Like, what is, why were they like specifically them? They were just trying to help us out because Morocco is a part of the UN. So it's like, here, guys, we'll help. Here's some monkeys. They probably have way to, they probably have more monkeys with people. You think they have, like, more monkeys? Like, they have like, like a. Maybe it was like a pest control thing where they were like, they were like, we have so many monkeys.

We need to get rid of them and we can't figure out a good way. So let's just send them to Iraq. to be exploded. That's actually, that works. I bet we figured it out. I literally think we just figured it out right now. They have a million monkeys to every hundred of,

of the people that live in Morocco. So they just need to get rid of them. All right. I'm going to choose to believe that this is true because I really want that. I really want that to be true. How many? But I'm, I looked it up.

I looked it up, right? It says, did Morocco A lot of people have this question Did Morocco provide 2,000 monkeys to the American-led effort in Iraq

in the Iraq war? It appears this claim originally appeared in Usubu al-Siyasi E.G. Washington Post attributes them to, was it true?

Morocco denies this. Oh. So they denied selling monkeys, which honestly, kind of That pushes me to believe it. Yeah.

Wow. If they have a million per monkeys per 100 people, that's a lot of monkeys, man, because they got 37 million people. They got 37 million people in Morocco. A million monkeys per 100. Wait, hold on. Hold on. A million monkeys per 100 people is staggeringly outnumbered.

That is fucking crazy. They almost have 40 million people. Morocco. That's so many monkeys. That is... That is such a disproportionate amount of monkeys, man. That is such a disproportion... Like, that is such a vastness of monkeys, man.

They're begging to please take these monkeys. We can't breathe. I guess it would make sense. It would make sense why they would just send them off into a field. That is one thing. like a monkey, because monkeys are capable of comprehending. Like, I've seen monkeys, I've seen monkeys witness magic tricks and react as people would. You know, like they understand like, whoa, that's not supposed to be how that works.

Like, they understand object permanence enough to grasp a magic trick. So I do wonder what like the thought of a monkey would be upon seeing their brethren monkeys explode from seemingly nothing. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion,

our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one.

20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.

That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.

Visit for the people.com for an office near you. Yeah, I mean, it would probably be like, don't go over there. That's what, that's their immediate thought is don't go there. I explode. Or maybe run away. Yeah. Me, monkey explode. No, what if they.

What if? Because they probably would understand the media it's the mind. They don't understand it's the mind first. Exactly. So they'll just run. They'll probably other ones would probably blow up. Run in the other direction. And there'd be one monkey that's a little smarter.

I'd be just stand still. So you got to what you got to just do. Speaking of a... I was going to say, speaking of monkeys, I still have not seen these Planet of the Apes movies. I'm kind of staggered because apparently these are really good movies. I didn't know that. No one ever told me.

Two's a pretty good movie. Three is all right. Yeah, I saw the James Rapo one. What was three? James Rapo. I only saw that one. James Rap. That was RISE, I think.

Yeah, RISE. He didn't rape anybody, did he? Did he rape somebody? What do you? I can't. He did something. Well, he had... He had two stories.

He had an acting... In front of the other class, that wasn't like, that's not rape. I think he had... He had an actor's... He was teaching an acting class and he was like sleeping with students, I think. Basically, is what it was. He was like, so he was... I think.

Like, like in a college thing? I think... We're talking about James Franco. We're not... I don't know if it was a college thing. I don't think so. I think it was just like he was offering acting classes. I was like, James Franco is acting one-on-one.

whatever the fuck, and then he had like, I don't know. I really don't know. I don't care. You know? Oh, I kind of do a little bit since I'm calling him James Rapo. Let's see. I didn't, I don't know. James Franco, I only ever saw it in Spider-Man and that's it.

Like, I never saw, and I guess that Planet of the Apes movie. I never watched, I didn't really know he did anything else. I know he was in. Geeks and Geeks? You never watched? I never watched Freaks and Geeks. It's pretty good. I liked it.

I never watched Freaks and Geeks? No. Yeah. Jeez, man. You've, you've, like, really not watched

or seen much stuff. You're, like, so very opinionated about a lot of things, yet you've, like, not really seen anything. It's like a really weird combination of,

like, how the fuck do you know if things are good sometimes? Yeah. Because I know what I like. I know what's good. Have you at least seen... But you've seen six things.

So how do you know if you just don't like those? six things, you know? Well, no, but here's the thing, but you have this thing where, like, you pretend to have seen things. No, most things I've seen I've seen. No, no, no, no.

You've been around, you've been around things as they're on, but you haven't seen them really. I don't know. I know, I can say that I've seen it. This happened recently. This happened recently. I didn't sit down and watch its entirety. Yeah, I've seen what I'm saying is. Here's what I'm saying.

Here's what I'm saying. I don't necessarily. I focus on everything. that I see and I absorb what I see, but I don't, I don't pay attention to, like, things that I'm not paying attention to. And this is, we actually came across this kind of recently where we were having a conversation, I think, on stream about, like, Kendrick Lamar's album or, like, one of his songs where he says, you're right. No, Mother, I'm sober. But I was wrong. Mother I sober. You were wrong, but you've heard that song probably a million more times than I have. I've heard that song exactly

twice. And I knew immediately what, that's very true. That's kind of where I'm at, where it's like, I don't necessarily watch everything to. completion, right? There's like a lot of games that I've played, like, maybe like five hours of and I'm like, this is good, but like, I get it. I've seen all I really need to see out of this. And movies are the same where I'm like, I don't really feel like finishing this. So I've seen a lot. I just don't count the things that I've seen only part way. Yeah, that's true. I've seen I've seen freaks and geeks. I've not finished freaks and geeks. Okay, there you go. That's a thing. That's a thing. I'm not sat through an entire episode.

That's different from not seeing it, though. That's what I was having, I've seen it before. I didn't all of it. Because I would say at least I've seen it. Well, no, because I don't know. I consider if somebody says I've seen something to be like I've completed it. Well, yeah. That's how I consider it. I consider seen as I've seen it. Like,

I've not may have watched all of it. Yeah, but what haven't we seen at that point? Like, that's almost, that's kind of useless. Because we've seen, we've seen fucking Turkish Spider-Man, but we haven't watched Turkish Spider-Man. I haven't seen most things. There's a lot of things I just haven't, I wouldn't say I've seen. You know, like, it was like, have you seen.

Have you seen like maybe a Mozart music? I'm like, no, I've heard some. I've never really seen that. Right, right. Because you know, you know, if you've seen Freaks and Geeks, you know what it's about, you know, Dengue's like a huge part of it. He's like the second main character,

I'm mistaken. Well, here's what I mean. I've seen like, I've seen clips of it. I've seen, I don't think I've sat through an entire episode of it. So I really don't, I don't fully really know what freaks and geese is about. I can assume.

Well, But like, I don't fucking know. I have a 12-year-old sister. So if you're a sister, the sister that's 12 years older than me, so I've definitely sat down through that show because she fucking loved it. It's for that age group. It's for like five years older than Derek's age group. Yeah.

Those are people that, like, watch that. 80s kids. Yeah. I fucking grew up in that era. And then it's just bad boys that are like the outcast, the pariahs, the freaks, and then just fucking nerds, geeks. That's it. It's literally just that.

That's all it is. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I just, I feel like when I, when I say I've seen something, I want to,

like I think that's, like I've seen a lot of, like theoretically I've seen WrestleMania, you know, like I've seen, I've seen a ton of shit, but I haven't sat and watched

WrestleMania. It's such a fake, that would be such a fake thing for me to say to be like, I've seen WrestleMania. Yeah. But yeah, I know freaks and geeks.

You never seen them watchinia before? Why would I do that? I mean, because it's just like, they were like party, they're like party a moment. I mean, has he ever,

I don't think, like, I'm not really into it. Yeah, right. It's just like some of my friends that really aren't in a pro wrestling, we'll invite them over because one of my friends, he always has, for pro wrestling paper views,

he always has people over. And so people will come over just for the camaraderie. And so they've seen some WrestleMania's and some shit, but they can't recall anything that fucking happened if you asked them. That's understandable. I wouldn't say, like, I know a lot of, I've definitely seen a lot of stuff.

So I guess, it's where you want to draw. your line. Yeah. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU

helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at appu.apus.edu.

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes

on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Because we've seen doesn't mean like, Like, I won't say like I know everything about it if I've seen it. But I've seen it before. Yeah.

You've probably seen enough to know if you like it or not. And it's like a, you know, it is, it isn't. I love the, I just, I love how that is one of, there's a few things like cilantro, pro wrestling. There are some things that there are just hard lines for people where it's either they're all in or they're just like all out. And pro wrestling is one of those lines that I love. I like, I have friends that are either like, I love this shit and the, and other friends are like, that's just gay porn.

What are you talking about? I'm like, yeah. I'm very much, I definitely was very into it growing up. Yeah. Like I was super in a person growing up. And then around my early teens, I kind of stopped watching it.

But every now and I'd pop in when something wilds to see what's happening. Like the whole, like the whole rock era right now with the fucking of the family. Yes. And the fact that Roman Reins has won so many consistent fucking, like he hasn't lost a match in like five or six

years. I think he just lost it the last one actually. He just recently lost one. Yeah. He just, just lost the roads. It's funny you saying that though, because I just realized, I think it was, might have even been last night. I was just thinking to myself before I went to sleep that, I'm like, oh, I really am not in a pro wrestling anymore because the rock came back and I didn't watch a second of it. I didn't watch any of it. And like, even though I was like that, he was the most entertaining thing, he's just a fucking retard. And I love watching him do his

dumb shit that he does. And I didn't watch a second of it. And I was like, oh, huh, I guess maybe, I got me back. There was like one of you. It should have got me back. There was one Twitter video that showed some shit for me. And I was like, well, this is crazy because the fact that Cody Road, I hate Cody Rhodes. He's very hateable. I fucking hate him.

Okay. And seeing as Samoans, I was like, oh, this is cool. So I watched a punch that rock. I was like, wow. I like this now. Yeah, it's weird because that should have brought me back too. It would bring back anyone at my age. And I just, I just, I guess I just couldn't care less right now.

And whatever. I mean, if I ever have kids or something, I'll probably get back into it. But right now, it is just dudes butt fucking right now. That's kind of where I'm at right now with it. They're just having sex in front of like tens of thousands of people. Sometimes you got to have sex from dudes, man. Facts. Wouldn't that give you material for your music?

It definitely would, but I don't know. You're not even trying to succeed, bro. We got out of here, man. All those dudes could beat me up. You're thriving more, bro. All those dudes can beat me up. So I got to watch it, you know. I can I can make fun of all these these these metal be decisions because they're all skinny and malnourished.

Like they don't eat. They just do drugs. So I can, I can like, I can make parodies about them. And they're all old too. Like so. They don't eat. They just do drugs. So I'm not afraid of them.

Rock and roll, baby. Just fucking, yeah. If I want to get in shape, if I ever want to get back in shape, I'm just going to start playing rock and roll. And then I'll just, my diet will be Coke and 15 year olds. And then I'll be, I'll be set. That's. Jesus Christ Yeah!

Yeah! All right, let's move on. Thank you for your question. Dilf Lungren wrote in. Okay, so this is a... I don't know if there's any real question here that we're going to answer,

but I have to... I had to... This right, it is crazy. This is greetings fellow mistakes. I went homeless just to ask this question. Welcome. Welcome aboard, Dilf Lungren. I accidentally made a girl squirt

and ruined the carpet in front of my grandma once. Paranthesis, long story. I guess I'm more of a deviant than Mr. Blackman. Anyway, what's your favorite awful story to tell? Side note, gay collab with Brojob and Hydrocock. I know both of them. I don't know what that is. I know both of them.

But hold on, go back to the story. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. I'll elaborate on that in a second. What did he, did he something about, he accidentally made a girl squirt? I heard something about grandma, but I didn't grasp that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, you heard it right. You just didn't want to. Please tell me again. So he wrote, I accidentally made a girl squirt and ruined the carpet in front of my grandma once, parentheses, long story. Look, man, that is, I will skip past that because that is too much for, there's too, there's too many variables in that for me to go to be like, how could that possibly happen? And so we will await this guy's story. I don't want to know it for me and real. Well, here's the thing. I just want to know how could you possibly do anything remotely sexual in front of a family member is really my question of how.

Because he said accidentally. Yeah. And I'm like, how do you even get even remotely to that place where there's a family member? It's white people, bro. That's regular white people. It might be right, dude. Because I actually, you know what's funny because I did see. I forgot who it was, but somebody recorded a video.

It was this girl and she was like, my mom's sitting down and she actually, and her pussy was hanging out. And like, they were just kind of like, they were, it was like they were like, like, bros in the locker room talking like that. And I'm like, dude, that's, because I didn't, I didn't have that type of shit in the locker room, right?

We didn't do gay shit like that. But it was the way that they were talking, how like her pussy was just hanging out and like, not being like upset that you just saw your mom's pussy. It was like, it was just funny. And I was like, I don't have, I don't know these type of relationships. It's kind of crazy to me.

But I guess, you know, white people would be white people. If I'm being honest, in a locker room, we wouldn't, we would, we wouldn't be showing each other our dicks and shit like that. But we would, the way we would talk about women would be the problem for me. Well, that's. We would just have the most disrespectful who talks about women. That's me everywhere. Like they were just not even autonomous creatures. And I was like, yo, I'd like it here.

This is my kind of place. this is my other place man yeah yeah yeah I'm not getting into my as I'd like I

the thing that I I just don't understand what the situation would even be where you would find yourself in this in this predicament right

that's what I'm like I'm like you know I'm just like oh no dude no you click either either this is this is what makes you mad

right either you don't respect your grandmother because it's all about respect at that moment right because my grandmother, Lily met my grandmother and me and Lily were next to each other side by side like a loving couple

because my grandma's the matroner of my family. So we got to be like respectfully address my woman that I raised and the most important woman in my family to me. Maybe I'm grandma's that have been important to you. Maybe you're like, hey, whatever. Fuck my grandma. She's old and see now.

Let's squirt in front of her and make her fucking pray confuse her day. You know, let's just do that. You know, I don't know your story. I don't really want to know your story for being honest. I don't respect you. Yeah, because there's too many things. You got to think about...

To be able to... I'm trying to... I assume it's like a... Pants must be off. It was like a... Pants must be off. You can't go lightly. You know, you got to put some torque into it.

So, like, you can't be stealthy with that. So, like, I just, I can't... I really can't fathom this. There's so... Maybe did you walk in? Because that's a different story. But that's a different story. then that also wouldn't be accidentally.

For sure, but that changes entirely. But see, but like trying to intentionally, that would be like you were intentionally trying to make her squirt, like you were doing stuff to her. So if you were doing something sexual to her, then there wouldn't be an accident. That's what, what this almost sounds like to me is fake bullshit. The accident, though, is that it happened,

well, yeah, it's probably bullshit. It's probably not real. Here's the thing about a lot of these, a lot of write-ins, is that we have to operate as if they are real because if we just assume they're all fake, then we won't have a show to it. do. So it's either we have a sure or we don't basically.

But because he wrote it in a way that like it could be like it's not it's not necessarily that he accidentally made a squirt. It's that the accident is that it happened in front of her grandmother is how I read it. That isn't that is not how it's written. That's not that doesn't make sense. But it is it but it's ambiguous. Yeah. It's like oh I accidentally made her squirt. No, the syntax of the if it would work either way. The issue is that it's too vague. We don't really know what the fuck is going on. But you can disagree.

It's fine. Yeah. I don't want to know. I don't want to follow up to this. Yeah. Just by the way. I don't either. Thank you.

Don't ever come back. I see, you guys, I need to know. I'm a curious. I'm like Socrates, man. I need to know some shit, bro. Like, I need to know. You know, it's like. So crates, you mean?

Yeah. Yeah. So crates. So crate? Yeah, definitely. Yeah. So crates. And, um, and.

And plato. When I first read that, I was like, so crates and plato. What am I what? Who is this? Let's see. What else? What else?

What does Gay-Lio mean? Gay-Li-Li-Li-Li. I can't even. Gay-Lio. Gay-Li-Lio. Who's Gay-Li-Lio? Yeah, there we go. That's great.

So fucking stupid. All right. Wait, so who are these? Who's Brojob and Hydrocock? What the fuck? What is this? Oh, right. So Brojob.

is a death core band that exclusively first they started off doing like gay parody stuff like they would just take songs that were already prominent in the metal community and then they would put gay lyrics over it like you know but it so it was cool but then they just became in their own band just making gay music so they just have their own songs now but it's all gay and they're called brojob and uh some guy that i met on ticot a couple years ago name a screamy mimi he's now the lead singer, huge motherfucker, he's a big boy. And so I thought like, oh, that's cool. Like this guy fucking, he's joined that band now. And Hydrocock is actually, uh, he was inspired when I made that gay rock parody. So he made one. He sent it to me. And his was like, the production is

fucking fantastic. This guy's an amazing producer. Uh, but he also, his was a little bit too homophobic because there was a lot of things about AIDS and stuff and his version. I'm like, I'm trying to go there. Like I'm not trying to do like I try to keep even the word homo to a minimum, but it works so well. It fits in so many places, but it is, you know, a derogatory term. So I'm like, damn. So I just try to keep it like not, you know, homophobic. And but he's, he was fucking very good. He was very good though. Everybody does. So, uh, shout out. Yeah. It takes a very mature person to do gay parodies without making them extremely homophobic. Right. And I'm very proud of you, Derek. Thank you so much, man.

I actually really appreciate that. It takes a mature person because, like, come on. I try. I try. Let me give me an example. I actually need, I'm working on something right now. I'm working on gay country, back country by a VIN 7Fold, right? And one part, the second half of the chorus, I want to use, I want to use homo so badly because it fits so like, because the part we says,

my none is leaving me on my own. And I want to say it's making me a homo. I want to like and then like in the background they go all alone but I want to say a homo it's like a homo Like it fits so perfectly like if you guys remember that song and I'm like damn How do I get around this? Because it works so well, but I don't I'd rather not use it So now I need to use my fucking brain and not just Just jizz it out there you know what I mean so this is where the effort This is where the effort comes in the little the little the 10% effort of well I guess that is

all of the effort. I should say that is the 100% effort of everything else is no effort at all. It is pretty lazy, but hey, people like it. The people have spoken. Yeah. All right. Success starts with your drive. An American public university is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.apus.edu.

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.

So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow.

Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Let's see. Let's see. The ghost of RFK Jr.'s brainworm,

now possessing him, Rodin. This is, hello people of color. No, hello people plus color in color inverted Yeti. What the fuck does that mean? Is that? color inverted is that color inverted that's clearly you

you fucking I guess what is a Yetty I'm a black Yeah so you're a big black person So like I guess I googled Yeti But all I'm getting is

These are really good thermuses I mean yetis are essentially The abominal snowmen Yeah they're like they're like The winner bigfoots That's Yeah they are winner bigfuts Anyway

He says first time Long time from Ireland Oh Look at that Call me a year from Ireland Piece of shit You know what I gotta say

I fucking call me Yeti Piece of shit You fucking rat Batson You fucking rat bastard To Damn

To be fair to this guy He's from He's from Ireland This question is written Very very well You know And I have reason to believe That is

No no I don't mean like an intelligence Love I just mean like He's clearly not sober Because he's in Ireland but he's writing he's writing a very he's written a very a very good writing here he's the least sober he's the he's the most uh he's the least not sober you know what i mean like he's like he's the

the least drunkest i guess he's at the event horizon yeah yeah uh anyway he says been following Chris ever since episode six of sacred 2018 nice welcome wow welcome board uh I'll cut to the chase, as my question is a profoundly autistic one. In a battle royal fought between three chrises, three derricks, and two suines. Why don't you just make it three suins? Who wins? You are all located in a single IKEA store. You have no access to any weapons from the outside, but are free to utilize the environment

and cheap Nordic furniture as you deem fit. You don't need to give us weapons in IKEA, okay? First off, IKEA is just an armory. basically. Yeah, it depends on how much outside the box. If you really do,

you can fucking do some wild shit. I'm like immediately snapping fucking the legs of tables and then I'm stabbing. Like that I feel like that's too many weapons. Yeah, easily. Too many weapons.

There's frying pans and shit there too. There's fucking, they probably nail guns. Those meatballs. Oh my God. Be balls full of poison. Like you got a lot of fucking got a lot of options.

The Swedish meatballs. Yeah. I've never eaten there. I've always wanted to. I've never had a chance to eat there. I'm afraid. It's kind of, it's fine.

Is it? it's it it i was very excited and i was thoroughly underwhelmed by it but but at the same but then you eat it and you're like of course why was i excited to eat here it's a fucking furniture store that's what i'm saying and then you feel stupid for being excited about it in the first place so like if you go in with like reasonable expectations where it's like yeah this is you know it's it's it's nice to have food in the middle like of this place while you're shopping yeah but it's i i wouldn't really write home about it you know i hate i could i would ever go out of my way for it much i'm going to IKEA when I moved back.

The fact that you have to go through the whole place first before you can leave makes me so angry. Oh, is that? Yeah, I haven't been in IKEA in fucking ages, man, because I've had no reason. Really, Amazon, I don't even know how IKEA still exists because Amazon is fucking literally, Amazon is what I want, uh, gaming to be, to be honest. Like, I know, like, people always talk about the dangers of a monopoly, but I'm, as a consumer, I'm tired of buying everything. I'm tired of it.

I just wanted to be one single hub. I want Gaben I want Gaben to just like kill everyone and absorb everything And then it is be he'll just be Steam Lord And then it'll be called Steam box

Steam box station Steam Station 1 or what Series X or some shit And then Yeah yeah He he somehow takes We're getting closer and closer to that We're getting closer and closer to that

We're getting closer and closer Because I think Xbox is Probably after this I think they're going to have one other console and then after that it's going to, maybe even that's kind of up in the air. But they're not going to do more consoles. Based on the way they've been hemorrhaging money as a company in the game side, I don't have another console.

They just suck, man. I think there's so much money going to waste there. And the way they cut things, dude, very likely not going to have another console. I think Sony may have one more. I think Nintendo will be the ones that will last the longest with it. But it will be like every nine years you'll get a new console from Nintendo. Well, I think PlayStation is probably, going to continue doing it first.

Yeah. They're going to continue doing it for as long as they can continue to fucking clean house because they're, they're, they're killing it still. But, yeah, I think, I just think Xbox is integrating with PC eventually. Maybe. Or I can see Demme and Steam doing a combination, like them and Steam actually making a collaboration proper later on in the future. You're more likely to see that with Microsoft, if anything. Success starts with your drive.

An American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. do? I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's

largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you.

Really? But I think, yeah, I think so. Just based on like the working relationship between those two companies, I think, I think Microsoft, has it, but at the same time, like, I, I, I don't know. There's plans already draft up drafted up before next Xbox, so that's probably in the works too late to pull. So that probably will happen, but there's no more after that, I don't think. I think they're just going to go, I think Halo will be on PS4 within three years. That's pretty wild. That'll be a funny day.

That'd be a funny fucking day. But it won't be funny. I think it'd be, I'd be fucking stoked about it. I don't really get, I don't like exclusives, really. Oh, that's what I was my original. That was definitely my original take where I just, I want somebody to just do it. Like, I was like, the one time that I think a dictatorship or a monopoly would actually

make me happy. And in every other realm, it scares me. But, yeah. See what happens. Right. See what happens. Anyway, thanks for you. Thanks for your question.

That's our answer. Thanks to your question me, boy. That's our answer. You're right and tight. No, we didn't. So we got three mees, three Derricks, and I don't know why you'd limited Sween to two. I think it's totally fair that you would have three of each of us, and we'd be fine. In an IKEA show, in an IKEA store, the Battle Royale, it's a good question.

He also adds, will the Chris's hide away and ambush from the darkness? Will the Derricks build some elaborate base, or will the two squeens loudly argue before strangling each other? They're both agreeing on the same point, but neither of them know it. But that's fucking crazy. That's funny. But I think, I think, I don't know. I don't know how that would play out. Ikea's a very dynamic playground.

Yeah. Yeah, I think the Sweeney's will kill each other because one of them will accidentally brush up on the other one's penis. And then they'll get like really upset. And then they'll, you know, start arguing and then just start fighting. Like, just fighting to the death. I'll get like unbelievably upset from it. Like it's an unreal label like, yo, why are you tripping so hard, dude? Yeah, yeah, so that problem takes care of itself.

So then it's just me and Chris, like how that would play out. So I feel like Chris's, he's got, I feel like Chris has more survivability. Like, I don't know if he'd like, like say I'm like a vanguard. So I kind of would just, I probably would do something stupid That would lead me my people to to perish Because I just want to like, I've always liked the idea of just being on the front lines Just tearing shit up and then you know, then you exploding eventually because like why drag out war man That shit sucks. That shit sucks. I don't want to fucking be like

Exactly. Imagine being like in the foxholes and but most people didn't though. That's the problem Like most soldiers like we usually just die Like so many of them die that it's like Like we need the vast numbers of like world wars for example And people holding out And it's like it's so it sucks You hold out for so long just to get your head popped At the very end of it sucks

So we warren I'd rather just be like let's just go Imagine Imagine Let's just die Imagine being the last person shot Like the very last person shot in World War II like a minute before the

I don't know the scroll or whatever the fucking paper gets to you it's like hey the war's over the Japanese is surrendered and then right next to you pop pop oh my god

oh my fucking God the thing for me is that I'm see so for me it's like I'm very squirrely I can fit in a lot of places yeah I think I would be so, I would be like frighteningly good

at hiding and moving silently. I move very quietly. And that would be a, that would be a problem. Yeah. Yeah, I would give it you. I think after all that, with Sweeney's taking themselves out,

me recklessly charging into probably traps or something, some bullshit, because I just don't, like, I just don't have the patience to deal with that shit. And, and yeah, you'd probably end up being victorious.

Like if it was like blacktop You know with nothing You know No environment And it was just like Yeah that would be hard And that would be more of it I would

I would probably Sweeney If he has enough energy To finish killing all of us I don't know I would bet on him But it's like Yeah

It would be in a black top In a black top like empty In like FD You know It was like a flat stage Yeah That would be That would go between

Yeah, that would go between you and Sweeney, I think. Yeah. Because I just like, I don't know, I don't feel like. I would probably have the same reaction you would have to the IKEA show where I'd be like, I don't want to deal with this. I hate this field. I don't like this field. I don't change it. Well, I would be, I think I would be too, I would be too bored by the, by the boring environment to find the will to survive past it.

I'd be so bothered by so much of this. I feel like I could have so much fun. What? Because I'd be like, if it's three of me, I'd be like, let's not kill them. One of them would be like, nah, let's fucking kill them. I'd be like, dude, come on, don't do that. And they'd be like, nah, let's do it. I'm sick of this.

And you'd go and I'd have to try to stop one of me. And then I end up killing one of myself. And then it'd be another one of me just alone. Like, come on, dudes. That's it. And there you go And you guys would easily kill that one And I'm like, well, there's one injured me left

That's it Yeah Yeah, that'll be And I go right for the balls of me Because I know that would make me freak out the most If I myself tried to temper my own balls off I know that'd be the most like vulnerable I'd be If I grab my own balls

So I'd have like damaged balls already And I'd be like limping around Bleeding from my testicles On a timer already Hopefully you guys killed each other Like to sneak up and get the last hit on you guys and then win. Yeah.

Oh, man. Well. So stupid. Yeah. That's like a rogue-like. We should do that. We should do it. We should do a-

We should do a-snark take murder a roguelike. Yeah, why not? That would be cool. Actually. Why not? All right. Let's get a, let's get demons rage in here. He says, hello, tank full of snark.

I'm eagerly anticipating my physical collector's edition of Baldersgate 3. I've stayed away. from all materials regarding that game and spoilers so I could have so could I have some starting advice I've never played before thanks that is all you guys wow how the hell did he avoid spoilers starting advice no spoilers did this nigga even like yeah it's pretty impressive to me has he been even like so like every time we've talked about it which was multiple times he's just skip skip skip skip skip skip skip skip that's cool probably all right I would say the best advice I would give is to make sure you do everything in every act before you leave like try to get everything done in the act

before you leave i would i would say really yeah go ahead don't push forward to move on until you're done to you like oh i can't do this anymore here i agree look for the iron look for the inferno iron um actually look for the inferno iron yeah that i mean yeah that's a great one but also i think it would be a good experience. I think it also experience, well, if you want, if you want to have the best outcome the first time he plays, yes, absolutely. But I would have said, it is kind of also a nice experience to kind of not be privy to that also, because then it like, it really does, you know, it does affect the story. But yeah, I do like, if you don't do everything, at least go everywhere.

At least, at the very least go everywhere. Because that's where I made a mistake in my first played through. I miss some stuff. And it was, Significant. I missed some significant. Just going accidentally skipping an area. Just literally not walk into a specific area. I skipped significant things on accident. So that, yeah, fucking.

Like Derek skipped characters, which is insane. That's it. You were missing whole characters. I was like, what? I missed a very important character, yes. Because I just, for some reason, I thought there was nothing in a specific area. And then I was like, I can't. I was like way later.

I was like, where's this thing gonna show up? So, yeah. So yeah, there you go. Have fun, man. Great fucking, great shit. I, I can't wait to play that game again.

Actually, it's kind of funny. I was talking to, I was talking to, um, uh, Brian. Um,

I was talking to Brile, actually, no, but no, I was, we were talking about like, all of our backlogged games and stuff. And it's,

It is, it's fucking, everybody has the same thing. And it's just shameful. And it's like, it's fucking shameful. I was like, man, I gotta start working on this shit. Yeah,

I've stopped, I've stopped caring too much about, I'm really don't know how much about, man. You do. You just, you just don't know it. You're a fucking liar.

It's probably, I do think, to your credit, you do finish games more often than most people, I think. Most, because most people just don't finish their games,

really. Like, that's the overwhelming majority of people do not finish their games. So it's like, it's pretty, normal. But there's got to be games that you just don't play, that you own, or have played that you didn't finish.

There's like maybe, I would say maybe there's like five. I don't believe that. No way. Five that I give any fucks about finishing. Well, that's different. That's different. The games that I care about finishing is probably like, maybe 10. But like beyond that, there's a lot of games.

that I haven't finished. And I'm like, oh, yeah, maybe I should finish that. But I don't really care. Like, I generally, like, I play a game until I'm completely satisfied with it. And I'm just like, yeah, I'm good. I'm not done with this technically, but like, I'm satiated. That's kind of how I felt about Eldon Ring, honestly. Like, I got to a certain point in Eldon Ring when I was in the snow, when I reached

the Snow Dragon, where I was like, I was having a hard, I was having less fun than I did hours and hours and hours ago doing this a similar type like overcoming a challenge and I was like okay I think I've kind of reached my apex with this excited about the DLC still but not really excited

at the prospect of having to play that game over again just to get to it yeah it's not pumped for me I live in the context where like before when I'd buy games I wouldn't have a lot of money so I'm like I really want to finish I really want to finish the game that I played

you know like I want to like spend it $60 and get my worth out of it and then it turned into this idea of that if I'm playing this game, especially if it's like an RPG, I'm so excited to know what happens next or I would end or see you at the final boss that I have to finish the game.

That's where my thing's shifted to. So like I couldn't imagine not finishing any of the soul games, you know? I can imagine not fighting like the Nameless King. I can imagine not fighting Gwyn. You know, never, never getting to Germand, never fighting the freaking,

um, the, the Hashi guy that comes out of, the guy, that comes out of his grandson twice in freaking um in um and um

and secro like those games have such important final bosses to me that I couldn't imagine not finishing if I'd lose my mind yeah I guess so but you know yeah the reason why I feel like a lot of people have issues with just their library it's just um

a lot of people skip games because they don't have a lot of money but then they go on sale for next to nothing and so for example somebody somebody's somebody's before we left uh last night someone started talking about Metro Exodus or whatever the fuck and I started thinking about all those Metro games and they were all like $2 on Steam

so I just bought all of them and then I didn't play them but I bought them because there are two bucks you know what I mean? It's like a problem like that we're like oh these games look interesting but I've like popped one in on PS3 a long time you know and then I never went back to it

so I have a lot of that stuff like a lot of I have a lot of those games where I'm like I know these games are pretty good. Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh,

or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.org.org. you. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion

recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Sleeping Dogs is another game that I've been trying to finish,

but the driving is so fucking dog shit, I just couldn't get into it. I'm like, I have driving missions. When I first moved here, me and my friends got really, you there, you were,

it was a Jaylen. We got really into fucking sleeping dogs, and that game is fucking wild. Yeah, it is. Because it is a belligerent police officer, Chinese guy going around doing wild things to people. And it's like,

I love this game. I was having a lot of fun. But I just, the driving sucks. I, feel like I'm driving like a tank or something. Like it just feels awful. The thing?

Yeah. Bad. The thing about the thing about games for me, and I don't say this is a disparagement. I love games more than probably any other medium, I think. But I do think because they are participatory, there's more guard rate or there's more barriers to completion than there are for other things, especially because me, I'm very particular. Like, I'm a very particular person.

Like, I know exactly what I like. I know exactly what I want. I know exactly what I don't like. And I'm very aware of it when it's there. Like, the Metro games are awesome. But there's something about the Metro games where the audio balancing is fucked in a way that even I notice. Where you will be having a conversation. Like, let's say you're walking through like a city.

And your character is talking to like a person who's important to the mission. and they're giving you like mission specific dialogue and like narrative specific dialogue and you're walking through the city and you kind of can hear all of these disparate conversations happening in the background because there's a lot of NPCs talking all of that audio is prioritized in the same way at the exact same volume

and it's it pisses me off because I can't focus it's too much everything is like everything the game is telling me that all this dialogue is equivalently important and that is literally I'm not even joking that is the only reason I can't finish the Metro games because I love everything else about it

when I'm actually playing in the world and there's nobody talking it's so good like it's some of the best like immersive first person like adventure stuff that I've seen but that audio balancing fucks it and it's the stuff that

and it's the only part of the game that you need to engage with to finish it the story and that was kind of my issue with the Final Fantasy 7 remake a little bit too like when you're walking through the towns and like all that like all the side

text pops up where like all these like separate conversations when you're just trying to listen to Tifa tell you something. That was kind of, that was less egregious than Metro, but it was still pretty annoying. So there are things in games like that where even if it's one tiny thing, it can be so deeply disruptive to the experience that I'm just going to, oftentimes I'm like, I don't know if I can handle 40 more hours of this, um, even if the rest of it is good. Whereas a movie, it's like, even if you don't like a movie, the movie's going regardless. you know.

You have to interact with the movie to stop it, but you will make it to the end of that movie even if you don't like what you're seeing. Because it takes more effort to not do that. And so that's kind of my issue with games. A lot of games that I play. I often run into something that I'm like, I can't look past this.

This is too drastic. I feel that. But anyway, let's see, let's see, let's see. I mean, I hope that was valuable advice to demons rage. I don't know. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. I'm really impressed the fact that you managed to avoid spoilers for fucking Baldur's Gate

this long after. Because even I've, I have no, I have no interest at all. And I've had that game spoiled up and down for me. So, good luck. Lily drinking piss is so disrespectful to her character, Ronan. He said, the Lion King discussion in the last episode makes me think you guys should do a Lion King 2099 or something. That's what we were talking That's what we were talking about

So for the people who might not have heard that episode We were talking about like What year the Lion King takes place in And it theoretically could be Literally at any point in time Yeah And it is a little upsetting Lion King 299 would be cool

Yeah I'd be into it Let's do it, yeah Simba No shot Wait hold on Mugillo Harris Transmask Pussy Roded They said

Not a question Just thought you guys might like to know That I got asked out twice While wearing the scum bag shirt Apparently it's like catniff To dudes who just want to be friends Also my mom laughed for almost an entire minute Despite not knowing anything about Sweeney

Or this podcast 10 out of 10 would recommend product Some positive reviews about the merch That's really exciting it is just an objectively funny it isn't objectively funny there are tweaks that I've made to that image too like really subtle Photoshop tweets that I don't want to give away

because I don't want people to notice them but like that picture on its own is funny but like there's subtle nonsense that I did to that photo that makes it like twice as uncanny so what makes it the worst for me

is in that tweet my teeth all look round like my teeth all look round like my My mouth is a circle and my teeth are all round and aligned the side of my mouth. Like, like, freaking, like, Lila's dad from freaking, what you call it? From freaking Futurama. And I hate it because my niece saw that image.

Because my niece saw the, I don't know how by some means, but she saw the scumbag image on Twitter somewhere. That's amazing. And she was like, Uncle Kinkson, is this you? And I was like, what the fuck? That's amazing. Why did you see that? I'm going to, okay, dude, that's, that's amazing. So I don't remember which episode when we were like, you know, just riffing for where that to come up.

I'm going to find it. And I will make, I will edit it as a promo for that because that's amazing. I didn't know it was that powerful, but we will, we will be, it will be plastering it everywhere. And making sure everybody gets their scumbag t-shirt so then they can get asked out as well. well. Jackpot. Yeah. Get their ass fuck good.

All right. Yeah. So remember snarktank dot shop. Some new stuff is in the works there. There's a new metal. That's that for everybody, right? The metal shirt? Mm-hmm.

Oh, right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I wasn't sure. Because I saw it in the back end and I was like, oh, dude, is that like a test or not? So, like, there's a new metal core kind of design up there with the snark tank

stuff on it. I'm working on All the bryl stuff is gone But I'm working on reintroducing I have an evolution of man Of like You know monkeys turning into Neanderthals turning into homo erectus turning into people

Turning into Brile That I'm like pretty I'm trying to figure out how to work I'm trying to figure out how to work with So that's in the back end right now There's some new stuff coming to the merch It's honestly just fun to design merch Truthfully

So there's going to be some stuff popping in there periodically So make sure you check that store out, Startank.shop. It's going to be some stuff in there over the next couple months. I hate to think that Brile is after man. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like, bryl is somewhere beyond Homo erectus. That really bothers me.

Like, we went from upward to Homo erectus to like some weird interaction with the world made people turn into Bryles. Kyle is more evolved He is man That's the pinnacle He's a feller All right And the last

We'll get to this last question Right Last one And then we'll read We'll read our Read our credits Our wonderful Patreon $25 and up

Patrons Who wants to do it? I've done it recently I don't have it pulled up Okay I have not logged in I'll do it next time When I get home

Okay I'll do it All right, no worries. We got it. So Tom Tom, our Lord, wrote in. He says, hey, boys, had a thing I thought would be a nice discussion. See, this is, I think it's an obvious answer, this question. But, like, he's going to say, what's a worst movie in your opinion? The Amazing Spider-Man 2 or Spider-Man No Way Home?

They both feel like commercials to sell more toys. No Way Home without the hype from the theater. It's kind of a bad movie. What do you guys think? So, okay, so I could be misremembering this. Which, so it's Spider-Man homecoming. And then it's, I think no way home for last one. The Spider-Man Homecoming is Spider-Man.

Far from home, then No-Way-Home. Far from home. And No-Way-Home. No-A-home is the third one. Oh, okay. No-A-home is the one with all-Spotter-Ban. So no-way home is redeemed by the ending. The ending of that movie, the ending parts of that movie, like after the spiders show up, is all great.

from the fight with Doc Ock in the house to the fighter spiders showing up in the ending of the movie are all good Yeah The problem of the Amazing Spider-Man 2 Is just a fucking mess Like the whole time

Yeah And has some really good moments Look man But it's a mess You got homeless Manhattan Homeless Dr. Manhattan Right

Is that the one Or is that the first one No that's the second one Yeah Yeah Yeah Homeless Dr. Manhattan And then you have

Yeah Yeah And then you have that fucking that the rhino suit that did nothing yeah

yeah yeah it's you got hairy looking like a fucking gremlin it just it was yeah

extremely underwhelming it's not good yeah no way homo was also like there are cool parts but yeah

but yeah that's the problem with both I will say yeah I will agree that no way home is better it's just I mean

fucking fucking green goblin like suplexing Spiderman was probably my favorite fucking thing that happened. That is the craziest moment from a Spider-Man movie still. Amazing.

Him putting him through a building. That is nuts. That was amazing. We're all like, oh, that's, yeah. Look, I have issues with No Way Home. That's a comic moment. Like, that's what it was. Yeah. I have issues with No Way Home, and I think they're all very, very valid. I do think that, I do think as a movie, it is kind of like, it is more of an event film. It is something that you watch in the theater and it is fun to watch with friends for that. reason it plays on nostalgia a lot. The first half of that movie is kind of not good at all.

And then the last half I think is pretty The last half I think is a lot It's not amazing but it's a lot better for sure And then there are parts within that last quarter That are fucking great sincerely. Yeah. But success starts with your drive And American Public University is here to fuel it.

With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.

Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan. which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome.

I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.

So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Accident. Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. Yeah, it's nowhere even close. Just because they are both not fantastic movies doesn't mean they're even close to comparing to each other. I think Amazing Spider-Man 2 is fucking abysmal on every level. There's nothing redeemable about it. outside of the fact that Andrew Garfield looks the part and the suit is kind of cool, that's it. It's literally, I don't think there's anything. There's small moments.

Like there's moments. Very minor. That was very good. Like, oh, it's a good moment to Spider Sense, right? But then it's undercut by Blue Jamie Fox with clothes on and what a gear, a fucking gear in his head. And it's just like, what is this, dude?

The beginning of that movie really, I don't know, man. I hate that. scene of him just like letting rhino drive this fucking armored car through fucking civilians vehicles and like clearly people are dying and spider man's just kind of using it as like a way to sharpen up his tight five because he's like getting ready to go on kill tony or something i don't know i don't know what it's so fucking weird it's it's not a good movie there are like individual i don't even think there's like individual scenes in that movie that are good i think

there are like shots. Like that opening shot of him diving, dope, right? I think the CG holds up really fucking well. I don't know what it is about those two movies where the CG is really good. But like, outside of that, it's, it's a, I would, I have not, I've only seen the Amazing Spider-Man to probably three times in my entire life. And I have no interest in watching it again. I've seen only once. And I was talking about this makes me think that I should watch it again to have a direct

comparison and then watch no way home again um i just i think i keep thinking about him i keep thinking about really uh real quick the how out of character it was for spider man trying to use magic to undo that like it's it's such a weird home falls apart as a movie it's such a weird thing to do where i'm like damn they just kind of don't care anymore do they just because what happens Think of it like this, right? They know the scrolls already. So when they said Peter Parker was Spider-Man,

he could have just had a scroll be Peter Parker at his house, which they knew already. They knew the scrolls. He knew Fury. Fury could have just been like, oh, a scroll, pretend it would be you somewhere else. We got it.

Don't worry, Peter. There's a lot of things. But there's so much of that movie that makes no sense in the beginning. Like, it's like really, like, it's really, hard to watch that movie again because it's like this movie is really fucking dumb yeah but i like toby and andrew yeah of course right like yeah they're like yeah they're like yeah that's it

this movie's really stupid like i don't think there's a good at alfred malina and willem defoe are really good in it uh to be fair like i think i think everybody i think everybody's good in it actually i just think it's like it's just messy it's really messy i do i think the first half is fucking boring and then the amazing spider man too isn't boring it's just not good It's really hard to describe. It's like, it's very strange. I think the third movie was genuinely not going to be that. I think really genuinely, honestly, it was not going to be that movie.

And I think they were like, fuck it, multiverse, whatever. Yeah, it was like, all right, cool. Why does Spider-Man keep getting disrespected in Hollywood, though? Like, what is it about Spider-Man that they just can't? You know what I mean? Like, you think about, like, say, Captain America, someone who's not as beloved, like, maybe. as a symbol but not as a character

and Captain America had some solid fucking movies. You can think of it like okay. The problem is the problem is that everyone has their rendition of Spider-Man in a really oddly autistic way that I don't understand why.

Because there is Spider-Man's character right, but everybody when they make Spider-Man they want to make Spider-Man their way, opposed to making Spider-Man the way he's just been. Everyone has done that. Like, the one that got closest to it is Ramey, right? But Ramey knew Spider-Man from the 70s,

which is still the fairest, most objectively correct version of Spider-Man we got in film, right? And they made him that way. But then after that, but the 70s is such a small period of his character, you know, opposed to, like, then Webb's got him. And Webb was like, I want to make him like the kind of Spider-Man, I feel like I would have been at my age. They made him like a young skater, which sort of follows Ultimate, but it's like, all right, this is, this is some cool.

He had really good wise cracks, and he had a very weird suit at first, and then Amazing Spider-Man 2 suit, Tasm 2. I think that's the best Spider-Man suit, 100%, but it's like, they did their moments, and they made Tad Han, and T'Han has a fit in this whole, like, universe with all these other heroes

that are pretty good. Like, I think they did a really good job at, like, Iron Man and Captain America. I think they did a great job with their characters. But Spider-Man got there very late to the party, and now he's a little kid that's like, oh my God, I want to be just like Ironman. I'm going to make a fucking

Reddit account about it. I couldn't put this on my Tumblr. Is that how he had to be? Since he was so late to the party, is that how he had to be? You know, like, what did it? He could have been what he always was. Well, let me ask you this.

Like, what I would personally, I wouldn't have given two fine shits. I would be, I would completely suspend my disbelief. But say, established Spider-Man joins way late. It wouldn't it be awkward. Where the fuck were?

you, dude. Where the fuck were you? So I would You know what's thing? I think he would have, it would have been fine if he would have been that little kid Spider-Man during the first Avengers moment. That would have been amazing. That would have been perfect. That would have been amazing. He would have been like during the time everything's going wrong. Spider-Man's

like swinging through helping save people. I think that would have been perfect. He would have ran into a cabin. I'm a huge fan. And maybe like, all right kid and he'd be like, I'm going to go help people now and that would have been fine. That would have been perfect, but it is much better. That would have been fucking, yeah, but you know, wishful thinking, right? Thank you.

Whatever. Can't do nothing about that. Now what happens in the next movie? Because the next movie is being made right now, so we'll see. I'm not excited at all. Yeah. I'm excited to see what happens. It could be bad.

As long as I got Sidney Sweeney as Black Cat, I'll be like, all right, whatever, I'll watch this at least. As long as their tits fall out of her fucking costume, my cool, that. Well, yes. Of course, Eric, but I didn't want to say it. Yes. I pray that happens, in fact. Yeah, but I wasn't going to say that. All right.

Let's get the fuck out of here. Let's do it. I'm literally praying, bro. Let's read our $25 and up is what we're at right now. So we're going to read all of our the names of our wonderful contributors over at patreon.com slash the snartank. Remember snartank. Shop for all of your merch needs.

Check there periodically. There will be updates. On the Patreon about it as we go to, letting you guys know what's new there. But, uh, all right, count me down. Three, stop praising the sun or whatever it is you're fucking doing.

One. I'm praying to Allah. I see Sidney's when he's tits during Spider-Man. You can just, you know, you can just Google them right now. Nah, it's better in the movie.

In the movie. All right. Vaughn of the dead. Two, one. Uh, when you have guests, you should have them read the name since Chris isn't the only one

reading them now. down-eyed Asian. Which of you, which one of you put quailodes in Sweeney's jug of piss before he reads the names? Dude, we had so many, I was talking to Derek a little bit before we started recording. We're like, some of the comments on that episode are hilarious because some of them were like, I couldn't stop laughing at Sweeney reading the names. It was a highlight of the show. Yeah. And then people were like, and then other people were like, this is the most painful name read we've ever had. I skipped the entire thing. It's so all over the place. I can't wait for you to do it again. I loved it.

I can't wait. Yeah. Sweeney, screeching the hard R after losing at the Digimon tournament. Binya, Binya, Benia, Benalla Benya. MCG. Lillie be like Dios Mios, Kingston. You should go to El Doctora. Success starts with your drive.

An American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.

Say hi, hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with me?

Morgan and Morgan. What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Your peace, they said bloody last night. Phalic bold. She doesn't sound like that at all.

Phalic, bold, tweens, skeet, shoot, I ain't shooting blanks. Uh, she raises my flag till I napalm for super earth. Carrying Chris around town is my pocket pussy. Uh, Miguel O'Harris transmask pussy. It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, the monster condom, the magnum dick. Uh, Turian pussy in this life for the next. Splish splash. I was gaping in his ass.

Um, Springsteen, I'm on fire. Oh, oh, oh, I am gay. Poopped in a sack. Call it poop sack. Very clever. Man. What a fucking... Oh, man.

That sent me a little bit. Lowell Wayne telling Drake to keep it Canadian. Jack, the world's fastest maori. Charles Lecleric, or Leclerc, this is your year. Don't fuck it up. If Derek ever did a gay parody of Scatman, it would just be called I'm the Black Man. Bada-da-Babab.

N-Wab. N-word bop. Oh, so. B-b-b-b-b-n-word bop, or are we talking about that? Me-gaw-c-g-a-cgros. N-g-g-g-g-d-nig-g-g-n-h-h-n-h-h-d-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-hhhkkkkkk-h-kk-g-kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk-k. and having a stroke. Kind of. You gotta fuck your mouth.

We literally sing you that song last night too out of nowhere. It was, yeah, yeah. That was weird. Big meaty stinks. Andy, the man whose handies are now a tier, but not as dandy. Arkham thug voice.

It's the black. It's if you take Tim Fools being off, he looks like cuffhead. It's the black. Heath Smoker, Gids. We should. make fun of Sween the same as Koso. I don't know who

Koso is. Getting bitten by a radioactive black man. Hitler was tripping for real for real. Honk Schrader. Homeless transfer him who comes. That one furry Owo Ha ha! You said Owo. My entire reality is

bashed like a bag of carrots. Listen to swords drawn by the army of the pharaohs and see if you recognize the sample. They are like Jedi Mind tricks. One of my lectures got cucked by the lead singer of the Pixies, I once saw Sweeney do 50 low handstand, slow handstand pushups. KSE, my curse.

There's come burning to find you. Will you come for me? Mr. Pants. Next on awful news, the evil corporation BlackRock has a podcast. Is that real? Wait, hold on. I'd be wild. I'm not surprised.

A Black Rock podcast is. I'm not surprised at all. Listen to a Black Rock podcast would be insane. By the way, there's a Mike Curse. Gay Party already out. Called my girth. It's out on my Instagram. Oh, really?

Yeah. Oh, you did. Yeah. God damn it. All right, well, there you go. There you go. There you have it. It's official.

Baller of the first sin, spum befudders, sweet liberty, my leg. Jolly old dipshit, serial sex pest, Doug Gimmie Dome. May thy load drip and splatter? uh, cyphergraph, fiberglass, fleshlight prank. I can't believe they put a black person in my historical fiction game. I get,

I get monkeys are good at climbing, but this is ridiculous. God Christ. You know what I'm just realizing? Is that this is, this entire end segment is essentially, you know that thing on Saturday Night Live where they have the two where,

what is it, Colin Joseph, and Michael Shea give each other jokes to read? And they try to make them say like the most out-of-pocket shit so they get the brunt for it. I realize that this is basically what this is. Yeah, to a certain extent, yeah. As I read some of this. Probably 50% of them, yeah.

Yeah. Maybe more, 80%. I'm non-binary two. Only I own a missile, Gandalf flow. Hunter Dubois, just pussy using a riot shields. Lily making, milking Aspen gold for just one drop of piss. Homo erecto, conflecto, selecto. recto delecto perfecto

Lily's asparagus binging piss dealer You must go to the bodega system Cawcajian container The Crackerel for gays disgruntled Donald Trump burping on Dom's clit A French man ate a plane Google it and discuss

A disqual What Is the my details The French man Is it a Mato Air Force a Wong Yes Allow me to not try down on it.

Comey. How do you say food in Spanish? I don't care. I think it's comee. I am going to eat

at this 747. I will now consume these delicious this scrumshaw is a Boeing 747 this has

no door for it is frequently flown I look forward to it's called new it to Ew, French is so stupid.

What? I do not care. Ooh is ooh. I don't know what's crazy about that. We. I don't get, you know. You just crazy about that reference?

Is that that reference is so old now? Like, that's such a, that's such a, like, niche internet figure for, for, he's like a niche within a niche within a niche,

that, like, when we reference that guy, I almost feel like, it's like when my parents would talk about, like, um, Oh yeah, that's a Jimmy Durandy reference or something. And you're like, what?

What the fuck is that? What the fucking talking? Who the fuck is that? Exactly. I remember, so here's how I know what that is. Apparently, there's a guy named Jimmy Durandy. I wonder if there's Jimmy Duranty. Yeah.

I'm sure he talked like, all right. I'm in Jimmy Durandy. And he had a big fucking nose. Oh. Yeah, he had a big fucking nose. And my dad, uh, I remember watching the Power Puff Girls movie. Do you remember the movie where like all. the all the Mojo Jojo's attack or something?

I might not have seen the movie. Yeah. There's one that, it was on Cartoon Network, I remember. I don't remember what it was called or anything, but there was a Mojo. There was a Power Pop Girl's movie where Mojo Jojo gets like an army of other monkeys to like super intelligent monkeys to descend up on the city. They're doing crazy stuff. And all of them have different personalities.

And there's this one with a really big nose that goes, the camera cuts them and it goes, ha, cha, cha, cha. And my dad is like, oh, that's a fucking Jimmy Durante reference. And I'm like, what? What is that? And apparently it was just some guy with a big nose who like in the 40s or something would go like ha, cha, cha, cha. And it's like, okay. You have these cartons.

But that's how I feel like shows for cartoon, like for kids. And they'll have a decade old references. It's so fucking stupid. It's for the parents. Half century. Bro, even the parents, even most of the parents probably don't know what the fuck that shit is, man. but so like that's that is 40s yeah for sure 40s most of our parents were not

my mom was born in 60s I mean I don't I don't know okay fair fair fair I thought you were specifically because I was let me fact that's fair but yeah yeah I was thinking that is such an old reference like god damn no I mean no I mean he yeah I mean he's okay so East Side accent comic language butchery jazz influence

songs and his prominent nose helped him helped make him one of the United States most familiar and popular personalities of the 1920s through the 1970s. Oh, okay. So he had a pretty long fucking, a long career. Yes, he did. So okay. Well, fair enough. But this is somebody that I have

no business, I have no business knowing about this person is what I mean. You know what I'm saying? And like, there's somebody listening to this show right now who's like, they don't know who the fuck JF is. But every time Every time we do like a, uh, is ooh, we're keeping him alive in the fucking Coco universe where there's people around to remember him. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, whatever, what the fuck were you talking?

Oh, yeah. French man eating a plane. Crash Bandigoon. Picking through the shirt nipples is the skinny girl's cleavage. Yeah, kind of. Yeah, I like that. She picking on my pippa, possum, Chris milks, marsupials on the weekends. Derek, please stop being wrong all the time.

You cannot fight a wolf. Slowly training to become a... Oh, hold on a second. I had a person... Hold on, hold on. I had a person that tried to... Maybe it's the same person, but they're trying to do so. I guess there's a lot of people, at least that guy particularly,

doesn't know that there are many species of wolves. You know, this is like a failure of school, I guess, you know, of education. Yeah, there are. Yeah, there are many species of wolves, and most wolves are not as big as gray or timber wolves. You know, timber wolves are the biggest wolves. Yeah. Those are the biggest wolves. And so a lot of people, oh, well, at least that guy thinks that that's the average size of a wolf.

And I'm like, you're fucking crazy. So he showed me pictures of timber wolves showing it how big they are like, there's no shot. And I'm like, yeah, I'm not fucking talking about, I'm talking about the average size of a fucking wolf where I'm like, it's just this, this. Oh, you're not talking about it. Yeah, you can be the red wolf. No, we're not talking. I'd fuck up a red wolf. Yeah.

They're fucking timber wolf is not the average wolf. Like, what, that's never, that was never in the discussion. That's the one that we would think of, though. I understand that's the one. Grand Timberwolves. When I use the fucking language, average size, like I'm specifically using that for a reason because I'm like, there's no shot.

I'm going to fight a Timberwolf. What the fuck? I'd be scared just seeing one. If I saw it, I'd be like, yeah, I know, that's true. That's true. Chris, a Timberwolf would bite your neck and it'd be hilarious. No, it's true. I actually believe.

It'd bite your neck and your legs will crack. I believe. You're like, it's fucking insane. That's crazy That's like when you crush That's like when you crush like a Like a Poland spring water bottle And then the bottom caves in

It just does its little I guess what happens to Imagine an animal biting your neck so hard That the rest of your body Snaps in the opposite direction Of where it normally Would bend that's how much give

your body needs to do a meat it's got to do that fast to keep you alive that's literally your body trying to outrun itself it's trying to get out of it this is like this hurts where I'm at let me move somewhere else

slowly training to become a Shibari rigor with a hard R my dad died and all I got was this lousy heart disease just the hard R Star Coffee ripped the digital hookah Now I'm getting molested on the set of embryonic Sheldon. Say O'V. Ho. O. V. Ho. Now, step this way, step this way.

My son froze to death in the waste of Ohio by going homeless to pay you fucks. And now this is his memorial rip John. Transfam gremlin, exposing people with lactose intolerance and 90 billion rodents of ionizing radiation. Ush. Wormst. Craig the Canadian. The stroke Derek had while thinking about Tarkov. It's your boy, Shawnee D. Agent 47 in a lobster suit, giggling and wiggling his knees like a little school girl waiting for Warren Garding to enter the kitchen.

3-0 and that alien from St.ero 4 who just says, whoops after killing seven billion people. There is no cock like horsecocks, and your asshole into shock. Need horsecock of coursecocks. Slurp and stroke and smoke and joking. Emotocon's going like this. Drip M.H.

Lord of homeless drip. Cutting Sweeney's balls off, putting them in a blender, and then waterboarding him with his own blended up balls. Obie won't you blow me. Norwegian game dev. Now developing cardboard quest, parentheses,

I am homeless. I wore my three sweet moon shirt for a Mother's Day party and got weird looks for some reason. Lord Bartholomew, hand job, inventor of anal sex. Yeah, it's really difficult to figure out why. I'm gonna steal your bones. She Azarath on my metrione till I zinthos.

One fish, two fish, gay fish, swine fish. I'm loving that arc. Chris dyslexically misreading my name for three weeks. What happened? I'm loving that of people of saying stuff like that. She this on my this till I this. Like a, like a, uh, yeah, it is, it's fun. She, she, she eber on my kneeser till I scrooge.

Like, I've been like, just shit like that. Like, I've been having. I've been having fun seeing a lot of those different ones. It's really fucking stupid. She, she, she, she, she's, sheimmies on my Durante till I ha, cha, cha, cha. Exactly. How's that for a fucking, how's that for a fucking? That's the only time.

That is the 1920s meeting the 2020s in a way that I bet has not you. That has never been said, I promise you. Never. Chris dyslexically misreading my name for three weeks. Success starts with your drive. An American public university is here. here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a

lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey. Learn more at APU.apus.edu.edu. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Hi Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said $20 billion, $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows, so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. Hey man, I'm doing my best here And I think I do pretty okay Pantara son or MGK daughter question mark

Gay Kendrick be like Wop Wop Wop Wop Wop Wop Wop I'm a fuck his buck Gag gag gag gag gag gag gag gag I'm a drink his nut Wage slave 583 A sad guy from Michigan Telling the boys it's not gay

To compare loads on our cum maxing journey But secretly crossing my fingers The Pippini bros Can you imagine coming on a table With a bunch of people and comparing it No No I'm scared for the biggest

Commer What if somebody's like Really got it They're like all right Like there's like an audible Like there's like somebody Through a glass of water on the table You're like damn dude

That actually You've really been cum maxing bro That's impressive visually that upset me I just just Phantom I just imagine like Phantom dudes around a table Just busting on a table like No but there's no

There's no there's no yank There's no buildup they just stand at the table and nut it just does it's not right at the table. I've always, I've always wanted to have that power of like just nutting on command. Just to nut. Just to nut. I've always wanted that power. It's a good power.

Yeah. Yeah. I love you. Yeah. If I could, if I could pressurize come at Bush, I want to be able to do that. Like, I want to be able to come hard enough to like dent in. Someone, someone wrote it. It's funny that you say that because someone literally commented on, I don't remember what it was.

It's a recent extra ammo or a recent episode where it's like, what is Sweeney's obsession with forceful cum shots? Because it's hilarious. The idea of being behind a closed door, right? And then, you know, like when a carriage is a punch in their way, you hear like a ping, boom. Yeah, yeah. And then you check.

And it's me that just came three times at this door. And I knocked it off his hinges. It's hilarious. That's fucking. Are you trying to overcompensate? That guy's dangerous. You come like a fucking a leaky faucet. Is that what's really what this issue is about?

It just dribbles out. It just dribbles out. It's a lot, but it dribbles out. So it takes forever to finish. It takes a while. So I just lay on my side and wait for it all the dribble out until a plate, then I throw the plate away. But you're like squirmishy.

That is so crazy. Can you imagine your homeless? Can you imagine your homeless? guy, you're digging through the dumpster, you're looking for like a bag of bagels or something, and you find a plate with cum on it. Full of cum.

And it's saran wrapped over, too. It's like, what the fuck is wrong with this person? It's still fresh. That's fucking outrageous. Like a cat drinking cream. Hey man, it's protein. The Papini Brothers present

Massa Roshi Flow, drank Master Corrin's sacred water. till he and straight pop and launches Sanzi bean Um Donk, donkerson I speak for the trees And for some reason

They are speaking Vietnamese Installing a faulty neuralink In Chris's head That placed on there on repeat You gotta pay the tolls hold Again the boys hold Gade 6 He's afraid of Gade 7

Because 7 gap 9 P-P Word of power learned Frenzy Redguard Stupid You would You would say progressive Sphere

Not progressive spear Derek Progressive sphere, not spear. Did you say sphere? If this person is correcting me from speaking on a podcast, like how many times would that app, like, imagine if someone did that for every missp, like every time you misspoke, imagine it's got to be, that would probably be an hour, like an hour podcast on its own, just catching the mistakes.

The fact that you changed your name to that, you should be punched severely and put in the hospital. Like, that's fucking crazy. That's so crazy That's so funny You know I'm at Sphere you bitch You bitch Come on Oh man

Fermented my own come and drank it Now I am gender I help fuck She knocked on my loose Till I suffocate Uh RFK's brainworm I'll carpet bomb

The Gaza Strip for a quarter John Strickland We have never seen Dan Schneider And Aubrey Drake Graham In the same room That is true Merck's 1889 merch came in the mail today, boys.

Hey! Let's go. The first church of Keith David, Willie Wonka, be like, goon with me and will be in a world of savage masturbation. Second Church of Key David featuring being better than the first church of key, David, P.Ross, Blake 896,

Jordan B. Pellison. Derek reaching Eric Cartman levels of penniness with his cum-filled watermelon ploy. That's crazy. It is a wild fucking... Oh, man. I forgot about that. Chris trying to read, like,

Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa. I should start a Nirvana cover band called Shotgun Lobotomy. It's a fucking awesome name, by the way. That's actually kind of cool. Alaskan oil field trash. It's a really fucking, it's a dope fucking name to be honest with you.

Alaska oil field trash. Texas Tater Salad, the Viet Congs that rearrange the kitchen. Sue Hulk, tickle my ass hairs, Nikki Ziggy, honk, sorry Miss Jackson, badly brave, hugger Derek, duck hunt, the vegan necromancer, I got consent,

Atherian, Broomek. and punter. Melfus wanted to finally rehabilitated and back on the saddle with two functioning hands and routing out our list, as always, the king of Hap-Hawazard. Hong-Konkerson. All right, let's get the fuck.

Naming your child to honk. It's fucking, it's so fucking, it's so fucked up. His name is Hong, and your husband is just like, I'm cheating on you. He's just like, some,

So I'm cheating on you All right That's our show It's a long one So We'll see you guys On the next Out here slinging a rope

So much Got lots of damns for you Got some yo play Got some fucking girt Got some activity Which one you want? Which one's your favorite? I got them all

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