The Snark Tank - #236: Majin Seal

Episode Date: June 4, 2024

Fear Him...

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Discussion (0)
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Starting point is 00:00:30 baseball on your couch and at the park and wherever you want on direct tv it's at direct tv.com today it's direct tv like you've never seen it claim based on total games on national and regional sports networks our sends included with choice or higher availability varies by zip code and package all by lap us only up to three concurrent streams mlb trademarks used with permission hey look he said hey look he said hey look he said hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey everybody welcome to the snark tank podcast um unfortunately uh you know, we are going to have to start this episode off on a somber note. I'm here with Kingston, obviously, but Derek obviously is not here with us.
Starting point is 00:01:11 He couldn't join us today. He is very, very busy crafting a spear out of old Native American bones. I don't know why. But in his stead, we have Eminem here. We have Eminem here as a replacement guest. Yeah. And yeah, how's it going, man? Yeah, man.
Starting point is 00:01:37 Fucking welcome. I feel very welcome. And I'm just here to promote my new hair dye. And I got a single coming out. I got a single coming out called Houdini, which is better than Mussolini. and who also likes to eat Linguini and who has a bottle with a genie Well
Starting point is 00:02:02 This is a sneak peek to the song Huh? Well A sneak peek to the song You're giving us? So maybe You know, to be honest
Starting point is 00:02:09 The song has even finished yet I haven't even The idea The idea that he would just Announce a song Before it was even remotely Like he's just like You know what?
Starting point is 00:02:19 I got to get I got a lot of fire under my ass I'm coming out with a song this Friday and then he's got to be like, gosh. It's called Houdini. And he hasn't even sat down to write anything. He's like, I'll just send alarm clock early. It's literally, I'll set alarm clock early 6 a.m. on Friday or on, yeah, yeah,
Starting point is 00:02:41 at 31st. And then I'll, I'll figure it out. It's literally just, uh, it's just about magicians. That's it. It's not even really, it's not even like a clever, it's not even like a clever, like, metaphor or anything. It's, it's just. he's just talking about cool magicians that he likes he's like i like houdini he's cool
Starting point is 00:02:58 he makes my weenie and i don't even i hate oh he rap the raps now it's just like it's so choppy but not in a good like choppy like yeah it's too angry like and then he'll get all playful like i don't i don't know what happened like it doesn't you don't have you ever have you ever just gone back and listened to something you made a long time ago and be like, yeah, I should do this maybe. I like this. I should, maybe I should go back and draw inspiration from this time.
Starting point is 00:03:30 And I don't mean like his hateful, like, but like, his flow was good back then. I don't know what happened. How does that happen? Yeah, I don't know. He's older, dude. But like, your, your sense of
Starting point is 00:03:47 what you enjoy in your art form changed, especially over 20-something years, nearly about, and literally in two years, his first mixtape came out 30 years ago, dude. Infinity was his first one, no, Infinity. Infinity was his first one, I think. Infinite, infinite, sorry. That is almost 30 years.
Starting point is 00:04:08 That's 96, right? Yeah. Bro, 30 years you change, you know? Like, it's not, he just, you know. No, he's gay, no. It's unfortunately. But Kanye. I guess, I guess, I,
Starting point is 00:04:19 I guess the issue is... Kanye constantly comes down in new, like, kinds of styles. It's just how they are. The issue, I guess, would be that, like, if he didn't change, people would also kind of... That would also be a problem for people. It would be a problem for... Critics, but they don't matter. That's the thing.
Starting point is 00:04:37 Like, you look at a band, like, disturbed. Like, they... Their shows are always sold out. They're always... They're fine. Even though people make fun of them for, like, oh, every... song sounds the same essentially. Like, their fans don't give a flying fuck about that even in any, in any capacity.
Starting point is 00:04:58 And so if, what if disturbed came out and they're like, you know what, we're going to start making circus music. And people would be like, yo, what the fuck just happened? Like, he's just like, you know, like, he's just going that, that. And then there's that. Dun, dun, then, nana, and that. Like, I actually want to hear that. I'm actually want to hear that.
Starting point is 00:05:16 Now that I, now that I put that out in the world, I want to hear some, like, clown. crazy to that fucking circus song. That's one of the most famous songs ever, bro. Isn't it crazy that that circuit? Do you know like the actual story behind that circus song? Not at all. No clue. Like, do you know what that is?
Starting point is 00:05:32 That is supposed, like, that, that's, that, that is like, was originally composed and I'm not, this sounds like something I would make up because it is really funny, but it's actually true. It's like, it's called March of the Gladiators, and it was meant for warriors. Can you think of a like Can you think of like a genuine Can you think of a more degrading Over time
Starting point is 00:05:59 Reputation for anything? I like is there anything that has had his reputation degraded I'm not kidding I'm not kidding That is that is the historical origin of that song It was composed for like just for when the gladiators Were entering the Coliseum It's insane
Starting point is 00:06:18 I The idea of that song. No, it doesn't sound right, of course, because we're so fucking accustomed to it being clown oriented, but like, it's real. The idea of hearing that song while you're about to get killed is wild. Like, you're trying to fight another man off your body and that shit's blaring.
Starting point is 00:06:38 And you're hearing that, you're like, no, no. And he's trying to bash your head in with a rock. Imagine getting your penis scraped off by a lion to that music. What is wrong with a little? fucking crazy. This was a Czech composer. Julius, I'm not even going to try. It's like it's just,
Starting point is 00:06:55 look, his last name is fuck with a bunch of like squiggles and shit. Like Julius fuck is basically his last name. I'm not even going to try to pronounce how it actually is. But, uh, yeah, yeah, you're right. Entry of the gladiators. Uh, but yeah, it says military march composed in 1897. And, uh, I. What is the original, like, what is the original version of it?
Starting point is 00:07:19 Like, what is the original version of that song? It sounds more orchestral. It has to be modified, right? The original sounds more orchestral, but it's still goofy. The, dun, dun, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, like, that is such a, that is such a vibe that would not get you hyped up for anything other than it does sound like festivity and games. It does not sound like a military is marching and stuff. Which, to be fair, I guess, I guess, I mean, to them it was, though. So, like, it was less about the glad.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Because they didn't give a shit about the gladiators, you know what I mean? They wouldn't be putting them in the fight in front of lions if they cared about it. They were just like, we want entertainment. That is the silliest song ever. So for them, I guess it was like basically like a carnival. It's like, hey, everybody, look who's coming in. It's the entertainment. Look what kind of poor is going to get beat to death by a lion today.
Starting point is 00:08:10 I'm just trying to buy food or eat bread. I'm just trying to picture an army doing, because you know, you always see those marches and they're all in unison doing all that. shit and it looks like, well, it's crazy. I'm trying to picture, what is it, the check, I don't know what art, I'm assuming, since a Czech guy wrote it, is that kind of aramee. Oh, God, yeah, I'm seeing, no, that looks that, that's bad. I'm seeing, I like the video. The video is called what I'm looking at right now.
Starting point is 00:08:41 It says how the clown song was meant to be played. Like, it's, like, that. The beginning sounds respectable. No, but no, but listen. No, but listen, for real, like, really think about this for a second. Is there anything? Anything. I don't know talking about, like, individuals, because individuals, of course.
Starting point is 00:09:03 Like, you have, like Bill Cosby and fucking, you know, people have had their reputations absolutely tanked. Is there, is there anything that has had its original purpose squandered so deeply as this song? going from like a march for gladiators or an entry for gladiators to a fucking clown anthem Is there anything? The American government?
Starting point is 00:09:26 I don't fucking know. No, this is the worst. This is the worst. Like you look at like the... It's definitely still silly as fuck, but like... Some people are saying this is like, this is actually a perfect... This is a perfect...
Starting point is 00:09:38 Like, this perfectly describes the vibe of the... They said the Austro-Hungarian armies in the 20th century. So this actually does make perfect sense. So this is the... are people that are probably kind of disrespecting that region saying like yeah yeah this actually this this it captures it perfectly i can't speak on that obviously um but yeah that is that that's got to be disheartening for especially the people over there that probably had pride when they heard that right like these 17th century people are like this is this is this is the shit this is
Starting point is 00:10:12 our shit. And then I don't know how many years later, how many years later that it became like the clown thing? Because this guy said he wrote in 1897, so it was almost a turn of the century for them. And then at some point, like in the 1900s, it turned into clown music. Like, and it's like, was it maybe during World War I, it was like propaganda or something? I wonder what happened. Because that's, that's fucking sad. Damn game. Yeah. I'm a damn. game. I'm super, I would watch, I think I would watch a documentary
Starting point is 00:10:46 all about the fall of the clown song. Like I'm, I'm so genuinely curious about like, like, how, like, what, what were the steps? The rise and fall of the clown song. The rise and fall of the clowns. I'd like, when did it start? Like, did it start ironically? Was it like, oh, I've got an idea.
Starting point is 00:11:02 We're going to like, we're going to bring in clowns, but we should do it to like bad, like, when they still thought it was badass. You know what I mean? He's like, let's bring in, let's start with this badass music. but then like we're just going to send in clowns and that'll be the joke. And then people obviously when they were in the 1900s
Starting point is 00:11:19 they had no real means of even knowing what that song was. So they were like, ooh, clowns. And then it's just, I'm so fascinated by it. Yeah. Somebody said it sounds good if you separate clowns from it. But I, the intro, like that. It doesn't sound bad. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:11:36 The, that does not sound cool to me in any capacity. It sounds completely. like show tunes. It sounds like you're supposed to be dancing, not marching. It sounds like somebody is dancing, somebody has, even like the ringmaster is like leading something. You know, it doesn't sound like, oh, yeah, look at the, we've got to take this serious. It's a serious song. It doesn't sound serious.
Starting point is 00:12:01 It doesn't sound bad, but it doesn't sound serious. You also can't separate clowns from it. Like, how do you even do? Like, how do you do that? Like I really, I can't, I can't do it. You can't do it. All your knowledge of it is involving clowns. Of course you can't do it.
Starting point is 00:12:17 Nope, but that's what I'm saying. It's like, somebody's like, oh, it sounds good if you separate clowns from it. It's like, how do you do that? That's impossible. I mean, it's like, oh man, the Dragon Force sounds really good if you separate the guitar from it. It's like how. Yeah. What?
Starting point is 00:12:30 What do you mean? I mean, yeah, you can't at this point because, yeah, I literally just found the today, the day of the 5th, the 29th of March, 20, 20, 24 is when I found out the purpose of this song. So my entire life, my 36 years of life, I thought this was literally a circus song. And I, which is, I remember when the clown world meme or whatever started propping up and people started using that song a lot. And there's a, there's a version on YouTube that has tens of millions of views. And I just assumed that's the original song. not a fucking marching band type of vibe.
Starting point is 00:13:12 So this is fucking hilarious to me. They're like, oh, how come I'm surprised no one ever mentioned this to me before this? All right, fair enough. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how I learned that. I think I was probably, I was probably strolling on TikTok and it caught my attention.
Starting point is 00:13:30 It was one of the few things that's like, damn, this is such a real ones. They're like, don't, don't. Did you know that clowns, don't? Did you know that clowns are eating puppies? Also, look at this. Yeah, no, I think it was, well, they do eat dogs. I've watched, I've seen a clown eat a dog before.
Starting point is 00:13:47 Like, that's not like a, like, at least twice. I've seen a clown face fuck a dolphin until it popped, but like, damn. Yeah. It was most red. The sea world. That's a sea world, right? At sea world, they do have that clown that they let loose. He's in every Wednesday.
Starting point is 00:14:04 He can breathe on the water way longer than the human. should be able to. Like, it's crazy. Like, he's under there longer than the whales are. It's wild. You know how, like, you know, I've been doing, like,
Starting point is 00:14:12 um, anyway, we, we've been doing all that gay shit, the gay cover shit and all this stuff. Uh, so in, I don't know, middle school or something,
Starting point is 00:14:22 system of a downs popping. And we were like, it was basically one of those things. It was like, well, how about semen of a clown? And it became like, uh,
Starting point is 00:14:33 like somebody drew like a, my friend drew like a really good picture because he's like a really good artist so then there's just a clown holding semen in his hand and that was like the cover art of the band semen of a clown like a jar of it or like just it was just dripping in his hand he's just holding it in his hand and it was dripping out of his hand like he just busted in his hand like he was he was fucking edging for a while he was probably edging like all day and then he just bust in his hand and it was just tripping out of his hand, which I can see a clown doing. That's fucking great.
Starting point is 00:15:06 Busting into the palm of your hand is such vile, fucking... It's so primitive feeling. It's so primitive feeling. I don't know if I've ever done that. You feel like there's so many steps behind what a human should be. I don't think I've ever came in my hand before. I've never done that. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:15:20 I've definitely come in my hand before. There's no way. I've definitely come in my hand before. You've never... Wait, wait, hold on. Wait, hold on. I've definitely, like, I've definitely beat my dick and like... And then you just caught in.
Starting point is 00:15:32 when it got on my hand. I'm just like, I'm fucking on. It was like, it was like escaping. That's not the same thing is holding your hand out. Oh, no,
Starting point is 00:15:39 like, can I have some more, sir, and then come falls in my palms? No. I've never done that. You were doing Oliver twisted, beating off.
Starting point is 00:15:49 You're doing it. I somehow was playing both roles. Yeah. Both the fucking constable and fucking Oliver Twist rolls. Yeah, you... Oh, man. I have some more, sir, and I fucking plop in my own hands.
Starting point is 00:16:12 There you go. There you go, you get a little bugger. So on the day that we're recording... On the day that we're recording this, on the day that we're recording this, there is no real news. Tomorrow, which is going to be Thursday, there will be like a state of play.
Starting point is 00:16:27 So there's probably going to be a bunch of new games and stuff that are talking about. I forgot those state of play. Yeah, I'm not even going to be able to cover it on Sacred because they announced it today for tomorrow and I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. So like, okay, cool, thanks. I love it when they do that. It's really, really epic and cool. So maybe we'll probably talk about that next episode.
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Starting point is 00:18:01 that's going to be missing because Derek is going to be officially moving. He's going to be transporting all of his belongings. And Derek edits the show. So, so, and he has access to all the back end stuff. So, like, that's kind of like our,
Starting point is 00:18:16 he's kind of like our Achilles heel in that. He's very important. So, Friday's episode is not going to be recorded. We're going to pick things up back on Monday. There will still be extra ammo and stuff. I'll probably even do a solo one just to,
Starting point is 00:18:29 make up for extra stuff. But I do want to make that clear. And there'll be a post on the Patreon talking about all this too. But I just want everybody to be aware of that so they're not confused about like, where is everything? We're in the motions of getting things set up over here. I've made some purchases for the office already.
Starting point is 00:18:47 That should be arriving in the next two days or something. I'm going to build the space up. As we figure that process out, though, give us your feedback. Because we are going to be fucking, we're going to be fucking with stuff. We're going to be changing stuff. We're going to be fucking with the setup and all that nonsense. So feel free to let us know.
Starting point is 00:19:11 Patreon.com slash the Snarktank. All that jazz. Snarktank.shop for merchandise. Get yourself a nice little, a little gay shirt so you can get bullied. Yeah. I wonder how many people have worn that scumby. bag shirt and just completely bewildered people with it.
Starting point is 00:19:34 That's my face. What fuck is that? That's my fucking face. I love that. What is wrong with that guy? I look like I look like I have like severe special needs in that image, bro.
Starting point is 00:19:46 The thing about that picture though, is that like I love that picture because it doesn't look like you. Exactly. That's why it's so fucking wild. It looks like someone attempting to draw me from memory that heard about me.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Not everyone. saw me. He's heard about you. All right. Yeah, I guess I could do it. Yeah, so that's good. This guy a little loopy. Oh, by the way, people, if you, if you could, because a lot of you have been tagging,
Starting point is 00:20:15 which is awesome, but also, like, say, on Twitter or Instagram, wherever, send a, sinister shit, because I want to, at some point, I want to, I want to collage this shit. I want to, I want to display you beautiful people in. and kind of show everybody, you know, do some proper, do some proper promos for our shop, things that, you know, things that businesses are supposed to do that we,
Starting point is 00:20:39 we just, we just don't do. And, yeah, it would be, it would be really cool. And then you guys can see your ugly ass faces, uh,
Starting point is 00:20:46 on some post or something. But yeah. We, yeah, we would like real fans with them. Because I thought about just like, I thought about like ordering like a bunch of them and then just like modeling them.
Starting point is 00:20:58 It's like, yeah. I don't know, It feels, I guess, I guess maybe that's cool. But, like, uh, it feels, there's something got out of that feels very strange. But, yeah, so, uh, do all that. There was something, oh my God, God, damn, there was something I wanted to, oh, God damn it. That reminded me of something.
Starting point is 00:21:13 Mm. And then I lost it. Oh, damn it, I hate it when this happens. I feel like I'm going senile immediately. I did that last night before I went to bed. It's all gone. I got, I, for completely forgot what I was going to do. I was upset and I just went to bed.
Starting point is 00:21:29 because you just you do feel like you're going crazy you just you just feel like you're like oh I'm too young to be doing this. It's really disheartening it's it's really disheartening
Starting point is 00:21:44 how flawed the brain is and knowing that like we're just kind of stuck within it like I really don't like you like you really you have every single memory that you've ever accumulated like you have it like it's there
Starting point is 00:21:57 you just can't access it whenever you want there's a pool of them and then you grab some for the day and you take those with you but usually grab the ones you use the most and the other ones you just leave in there
Starting point is 00:22:10 so like they're all in here but you gotta it's like catching fish it's like you see probably not gonna catch the right one sometimes I really fucking terrible man yeah we gotta start taking
Starting point is 00:22:22 that Joe Rogan stuff but like alpha something or brain shit or oh yeah we got to take Alpha Brain. We got to make sure we got to make Alpha Brain, we got to make sure we take our brain supplements. Yeah, that's what's missing.
Starting point is 00:22:37 So that way we don't That's what's missing. Ivermectin, we got to take some Ivermectin too. I've been hearing really glowing reviews about that. Yeah. Yeah, it'll help with my worms too because I do have worms. I have a worm issue. I don't know if you guys, I don't know if you guys have a worm issue,
Starting point is 00:22:54 but like every time I wake up, if I wake up in the middle of the night, I will sometimes catch them like like wiggling around in my bed right now with ram trucks declaration of deals well qualified current fca lessees get a low mileage lease on the 2026 ram 1500 big horn crew cab 4 by 4 for 369 a month for 39 months with 4,099 due at signing tax title license extra no security deposit required call 1 877 ram 5722 for lease details requires dealer contribution and lease through stilantis financial current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency
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Starting point is 00:24:05 Do you ever have this issue, Kingston? No. When I wake up, I'm covered in sweat, come and piss, so nothing ever, there's nothing near me. It's just my sweat coming piss. I buy a new bed every other day. You don't have a worm problem? Can you imagine? Can you imagine?
Starting point is 00:24:21 So Derek was just looking for places. Derek was just looking for places that he was talking. He talked like one of the last episodes about like walking into an apartment and they just didn't even bother to hide the roach problem. How would you feel if like you walked into an apartment, they were selling this to you and it had a worm problem? And you could see the worms coming up from the floor, from like the laminate flooring or like the linoleum or the carpet or whatever. They're just digging their way up through. I was talking about like earthworm? Yeah, just like normal.
Starting point is 00:24:54 I mean, they're not regular. they're not regular if they're eating through carpet to pop up in your house but for all intents and purposes yes uh i mean i think it's it's not as bad as roaches you can hear them coming up and they're bending the floorboards you're like you hear like cracking
Starting point is 00:25:10 they're bending the floorboards you're a little like what is doing that you got you got worms sorry man I mean obviously you don't take the place it's not to me it's not as disgusting as roaches but you're still not taking a worm and what if it's like
Starting point is 00:25:26 $14 a month? What was like $14 a month? But there's a lot of worms. $14 a month, I take it because I would just use the rent that I was going to pay for a normal apartment to just have them, all the worms exterminated. Well, as long as they can be exterminated. What if they exterminate the worms? What if they exterminate the worms? And then it doubles the amount of worms.
Starting point is 00:25:49 Like you're like, I got it. They got them. And then you come back the next day and the worm problem has gotten the worst. Yeah. Like there, you can't even see your, your, you're full. anymore. It's just, it's just, it's like, the floor just, it's like, the floor just like it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it looks like a, it looks like a tongue, looks like a fucking tongue, it's just a bunch of pink on the floor. You're like, hmm, um,
Starting point is 00:26:14 what was the last time, what was the last time earnestly that you saw a worm? Um, I saw, I saw, I see worms every time it rains over here because we're like, right, there's like grass. Yeah, sometime when I was last in Cali. like I see worms. Yeah, but like, there are no worms over here. But like up close, like up close, I mean.
Starting point is 00:26:33 They can't make it over there. You picked one up and you put it in your hand and like stared at it or something. What do you mean up close? Yeah, exactly. Like, so, like, like, you got up like super close to it and just watched it worm around. I never do that.
Starting point is 00:26:47 I've never, I've never, I've never been fascinated with, with what you've never touched a worm like that. Because I'm not a fucking, no, I'm not a beast. That's why. Worms are boring. So crazy.
Starting point is 00:26:56 I don't believe that at all. They're boring because we were adults and they're worms. But like when you're a kid, you're fascinated by that stuff. I remember like some kid. I remember this kid in our school. Was his name Dakota? No, it wasn't Dakota. It was somebody else.
Starting point is 00:27:11 Somebody, I was in like third grade, I think. And I remember sitting in the cafeteria and he was like, look, look, a worm. It's like, what? He picked it up. He dropped it on my fucking food. I was like, you're an asshole. But then also, like, I was transfixed by it. I was like staring at it.
Starting point is 00:27:29 I was like, what the fuck is this? Because I think I had ever seen like a, I think I'd ever seen or registered a worm before. I just knew what they were from like cartoons and like fucking, I don't know, the game. I definitely ate, I definitely eaten worms before. When I was very small, I didn't know between regular rums and gummy worms. Fuck crazy. Oh, no. You were that kid?
Starting point is 00:27:49 You were that kid? For it, okay, first of all, for. That's disgusting. For insinuating that I'm insane for simply looking at, a worm as somebody who has eaten them before is so agree that is such an egregious I realized that was a beast for doing it and then I became a human again
Starting point is 00:28:03 no you don't have to realize you're a beast you just know that intrinsically when you're picking up a worm and about to eat it you know before that that you're a beast well no when you're little when you're little and I've had gummy worms and I didn't know that there was a difference I thought you could eat worms I that's so great that's like that is that is no
Starting point is 00:28:22 it's just I didn't know there was a difference I was little there's no way this real. It's still dumb. Don't get me wrong because other kids don't do it. It's a dumb thing. If you're old enough... I'm not defending the stupidness. If you're old enough to eat gummy worms means you have teeth, right? You have teeth to chew them because
Starting point is 00:28:38 you probably... You'd probably possibly choke on a gummy worm. Just trying to swallow them without fucking chewing them. So I'm assuming you have teeth, which means you're old enough to know better. I was like four or five. Yeah. Yes, you should know better. The worm moves and the fucking gummy worm does not move.
Starting point is 00:28:56 I'm not defending. I'm not defending. I'm not defending the action. I'm not the fucking. It's not that you're defending it. It's not that you're defending it. It's not that you're defending it. It's the indignancy that you showed what I just simply mentioned.
Starting point is 00:29:11 Oh no, of course. Because we're critiquing you. You're under the microscope. Now I'm under the microscope. I'm taking my hits. But you're, you got to take yours. You see? There is no comparison between looking at a word and eating it.
Starting point is 00:29:24 You were like, wow. And you were like letting it go through your hands. You were like, well, I like, I like, I would have been like, I would have walked up to your table, took it off your hand and ate it. Well, I didn't pick it up. I was just like looking at it. Oh, man. Like, I remember, like, staring at, like, just, I just remember being a kid and, like, staring at bugs, too. Just, like, I remember there was like this big ant hill, like outside of our school that I would like, I remember just seeing it.
Starting point is 00:29:45 Like, what the fuck? That's a lot of ants. What the fuck? What the fuck? And I was, like, fascinated by it. I hated them. But exactly once. Because you've seen it, once you've seen it, you're like, all right.
Starting point is 00:29:55 For me, I like caterpillars. I like how they got to the top of things and like roared. Yeah, we had to, we had to go to the top of flowers and like, eh. And I'm like, why do they, why do they do that? Why do they all do that? Yeah, we had flusy. I love that. I like the fuzzy black ones.
Starting point is 00:30:14 The fuzzy black caterpillars are awesome. Those are one bug that I would fuck with. Like, because they are just, they look like they had a, they look like a bean. I like caterpillars in general. They're interesting looking. Yeah. Yeah. They're like lumpy worm centipedes.
Starting point is 00:30:31 They're not as gross as either things that are components of. It's like, oh, I respect you. You become a butterfly. Butterflies are kind of beautiful. I respect. Well, I don't care. Well, I don't really care that it becomes a butterfly. Like, that's like, I actually think butterflies are more disgusting than caterpillars are.
Starting point is 00:30:46 But. Really? Yeah, I mean, from at close up, yeah. I think if you get close up to a caterpillar, it's cuter than a butterfly. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's true, but not. I think they're just, like, I don't, I don't, like, who's like, butterflies hardly stay still.
Starting point is 00:31:03 Usually people see them flying around. So who the fuck was, like, actually observing them up close and shit? But I feel like that's just a fucking, I mean, like a, I've definitely gone to like things. That's like a sponge bob bit that, like made you think that. No, it's not a sponge bob thing. It totally is. It probably is a, well, no, I just don't like flying. You don't know.
Starting point is 00:31:23 You don't know anymore. I don't know, really. I don't know, to be honest. But I know I don't like, I don't like flying insects. Like, I don't, I really, I don't like them at all. The modern. It depends on the lines. That is so beautiful.
Starting point is 00:31:38 No, they got, they got great wings. There's so many beautiful butterflies, man. I've seen, like, I went to the, I thought of Seattle, the, um, that, like, rainforest cafe place. Yeah. And, like, I walked in there and fucked the butterfly. I tried to. They were there too quick.
Starting point is 00:31:52 They're too. They're too quick. They're too quick. They're too. Tiny and quick. Yeah. Like, there are comments of the two.
Starting point is 00:31:56 We're like, I'm just like, jump around like a beast and I'm like, oh, I can't get any in my dick is hard and shit's great against the floor.
Starting point is 00:32:01 You're, like, one of my game mods and you're just trying to fucking like it. The idea, the idea of Kixit either at like the Bronx Zoo or the fucking botanical garden in the butterfly exhibit,
Starting point is 00:32:15 the big butterfly greenhouse, naked with a fucking erection to hopping around like a fucking king Kong trying to fuck a butterfly and frustratingly I can't get them I'm like doing my hands on the ground and grabbing and climbing up
Starting point is 00:32:29 He's so upset What the fuck is going on You're slaving your hands You're slamming your hands on it You're jumping up and slamming your hands At the ground but like they're delayed It's like one hand clearly goes first And then the other one
Starting point is 00:32:41 It's just a really like I'm way too I'm way too agile I'm like at a point where like I just passed the peak of human agility So they're just like he's moving around you're a little too quick and he's climbing too fast. You hear over the intercom.
Starting point is 00:33:00 You hear like we've, we've got Kingston and the butterfly exhibit trying to affect the butterflies again, over? Can we get some security detail? Remember he is bulletproof. There's no point. No point he was in guns. Try to calm him down with words and honey.
Starting point is 00:33:12 Bring him the chicken and rice. Bring the chicken and rice. See the chicken and rice. Like that, your bonus starts to go down a little bit. Chicken and rice? Are there mixed vegetables? Yes Oh, I forgot to mix vegetables
Starting point is 00:33:27 And then you I'm back I'm back There's the vegetables It's just corn It's just corn It's just It's just corn
Starting point is 00:33:37 You know that You know that You know that scene in You know that scene in fucking Uh Never mind The uh
Starting point is 00:33:48 I think I don't know man That's that's a really upsetting fucking No but butterflies are beautiful, man. I feel like they're such pretty, they're pretty little animals.
Starting point is 00:33:58 I love that. That, that, uh, that ribbon at the end of that. Yeah, no, but butterflies are beautiful. Butterflies are beautiful. Like you just,
Starting point is 00:34:09 like you were just, you just turned back into regular, I'm back, I gotta snap out of it. You're Bruce now. You're just like, no, I, I, I, I think,
Starting point is 00:34:17 I, I, I, I think saying butterflies are beautiful is, is, is a little bit more like, I don't know Their wings are beautiful I mean the more Sorry
Starting point is 00:34:26 The more literal thing is Yes butterflies have beautiful wings That isn't more literal thing to say yes But they are They are They are Because of their wings They're coating something
Starting point is 00:34:39 Because like if you look at all bugs They're all creepy Yeah Like they're all creepy I really don't like the fuzzy black caterpillars actually I'm looking at I'm looking at caterpillars on the internet right now And like honestly the fuzzy black ones
Starting point is 00:34:49 kind of freak me out They look like beards I guess it's probably because they look like like almost like a black man's hair. I think I think I like, I like like a beard or pubes or something. Like it's just, I like it. Yeah, they look like a, I don't like, I don't like that I can't quite tell. Although to be fair, like, I don't know, what are those big ass? Well, they're not always big, I guess, but like the really fuzzy moths.
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Starting point is 00:36:24 Oh really? I don't like moths Why would you why They're literally they're cuter than butterflies No they're nice They eat my fucking clothes The beauty of a butterfly Comes from its
Starting point is 00:36:37 The beautiful patterns on their wings Moss patterns are usually like very like Draw colors Like they're like dress like Not as pretty colored Like butterflies are like very bright colored wings But they're so fucking majestic. What?
Starting point is 00:36:52 Only moth are... Are you seeing... Do you know what a moth... Do you not know what a moth looks like? Moths are not really... They're like... I'm not too... Wait, hold on.
Starting point is 00:37:01 Hold on. Let me make sure... I'm not talking about like the moths back where where from, Kingston. The ones that are just fucking bugs. I'm talking about the ones that look like fucking... The dragon from fucking never-ending story. And you're like, what the...
Starting point is 00:37:12 How is this real? How is this a real... There's a handful of moss that look cool. Yeah. There's a handful of moss that look cool as shit. Here you go. I'll put one in the chat so you know what I'm talking about. Here you go.
Starting point is 00:37:23 The fuzzy ones are weight. There's like, Mothra, I think. Mothra, I think. Mothra. No, no, I put one in the chat. That looks so,
Starting point is 00:37:31 that looks, that looks like, like it's not like offensive looking, but they're, that doesn't look real. That looks like a destiny thing. You know what I mean? It looks like a,
Starting point is 00:37:41 like a fucking thing you would see like in a fucking space video game. Yeah. 100%. But like, there's not beautiful. I think. think, I really think if you see them in motion and you see them move, you'll change, because they, they move like mammals.
Starting point is 00:37:53 It's really fucking weird. The way they move is like the way that fucking cats and dogs move. It's fucking strained. Like, they'll, like, wipe their faces and stuff. And it's like, yo, this is bizarre seeing a fucking tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny bug. Act as way. Like, don't fucking flies do that? Like, disgusting.
Starting point is 00:38:13 They're, like, fucking shit. Like, and it's like the most disgusting thing ever. They're not fuzzy, so it's, like, gross. I fly's, like, flies are the most, like, I know, but like, that's the thing. It's like, it literally is the... God, I hate flies, man. You think flies are the most disgusting? I just, well, it's just because of, because of what their nature, what they do.
Starting point is 00:38:34 They love, like, hey, like, if a fly lands on you, you probably have every fucking, like, bacteria on you and that little piece of a little speck. I'm just like, oh, man, it's just like, oh, man, it's fucking, you know. this thing. Get away from me, please. Aren't they the cleanest animal, though? Yeah, that's,
Starting point is 00:38:53 yeah, they're as clean as a dog's mouth. So they say. I heard some freak say that to be. Some freak made that, I remember hearing that once. I remember it's like, flies are actually the cleanest,
Starting point is 00:39:04 they're actually the cleanest animal because they fucking, they exist to clean. And it's like, that's not how that works at all. It's like, it's not, that's not how anything works.
Starting point is 00:39:12 They're clean, but they're not clean themselves. That's not even how soap works. like how are you cleaning yeah exactly please tell me you should have open hands slapped him in the mouth
Starting point is 00:39:23 you should have open palms slapped him in the fucking mouth yeah grosses the insect I don't think flies are the grossest insects I think there's literally dung beetles there's ones that look worse than for sure
Starting point is 00:39:35 I think probably like there's just abundance of them whenever there's death around they just they party they fucking party when something dies man it's disgusting it's like
Starting point is 00:39:46 you see a carcass and then look at the flies they're all just having a great time and I'm like dude you're dancing on death it's gross Yay They're fucking and laying eggs I just love dancing and poop But yeah
Starting point is 00:40:04 You know I think I just really hate insects I really don't I don't fuck with insects at all I think there's some things that are beetle related Like beetle related I like stuff Beal look cool like a scarab I used to be obsessed to
Starting point is 00:40:16 with scarabs. Always be obsessed with like old Egyptian shit. Like, and then I got a, then when I was, I got older and I'm like, wait a minute, these guys aren't sub-Saharan. Fuck, though, I don't care about these niggas anymore. I don't care about these fucking North African,
Starting point is 00:40:30 these motherfuckers. Yeah, I was like, when I was younger, it was like, oh, you said they aren't or they are. You said they aren't or they aren't. Like, because Egypt is fucking, like, that is, you know, the, you know, not some of them are. Some of them are.
Starting point is 00:40:46 Of course, some of them are. But like, say, it would be, you know, but you know what I mean, like, say, if you know the North African population. I don't think they were sub-saharan by that moment. No, I don't like, it, it was a thing that, like, that was, that was what, that was what I was at least taught back in the day because I wasn't learning, like, actual history. It was just, you know, biblical shit or whatever. And they were just like, oh, that's cool. And then I'm like, I saw a prince of Egypt and I'm like, hmm. There are people
Starting point is 00:41:17 when they did these cool things, yeah. Yeah, them niggas don't look like me. What is this? I don't like this. Well, I mean, the Egyptians were obviously, the Egyptians were obviously white people. Yeah, there was just like, it was like John Smith. They changed the names later to not be disrespectful.
Starting point is 00:41:38 I think it's so crazy that they went there. Yeah, Cleopatra's actual original name was Cletus. But they changed it. The idea of Europeans going there, old Europeans going there, being like, this is a really impressive thing. Aliens have done this. They saw broad nose and they were like, destroy it. I think that is crazy. They're like, destroy it.
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Starting point is 00:43:14 Like A bet See the thing about Okay so here's here's the thing that I'm I'm experienced So I have I have friends I have a friend Whose friend
Starting point is 00:43:27 Just traveled across the country Yeah And happened to stop out at Mount Rushmore By the way They happened to stop at Mount Rushmore They took a picture It's fucking tiny man It's tiny, dude.
Starting point is 00:43:44 And now I'm like, I'm really quite, like, how big is the Sphinx? Really? Is the Sphinx like 20 feet wide? I have no fucking clue. The Sphinx is particularly, those are particularly big. The Sphinx are definitely fucking big. Granted, you've seen, you've seen buildings bigger than them. You're from New York.
Starting point is 00:44:04 Of course, of course, of course. But, like, yeah, I mean, the pyramid is, but the pyramids are going to be fucked up. the pyramid I expect to be big but also like it's not I don't know I think people really overstate the like it just
Starting point is 00:44:18 it's blocks in a triangle like I really don't I don't whatever like it's not really that impressive it was hard to build it would still not be easy a great easy build now it was hard to build
Starting point is 00:44:30 it's well the way the way that they were built I could build a pyramid out of Popeye's boxes Chris you Chris you couldn't build a fire with the utensils needed to make a fire
Starting point is 00:44:39 somebody If you were explaining to do it, you might not be able to do it. You're not building a fucking sphinx, dude. Because people now are like, it would not be very easy. No, no, no, I've never said I could build it. Even currently. No, hold on, hold on. I never said I could build a sphinx.
Starting point is 00:44:53 I'm not a sculptor. I don't know how to make a face. I could build the pyramids, easy. Easy. Give me 35, 45 minutes. I'm going to build a pyramid. No, it would take like a few days. It would take probably like, I don't know, maybe like a week.
Starting point is 00:45:05 Yeah, I was going to give you six. You'd fuck around and do it too. I'd be so mad. I'd be like, how the fuck? Did you do this? Change history. Did you sleep? Yeah, I slept eight hours every night.
Starting point is 00:45:20 It's like, how? I overslept most days. Yeah, man, I was late. I was like, oh, man, let me get up here. You see, the problem with, nobody actually. Chris realizes he has powers. He's really good at building's fucking pyramids.
Starting point is 00:45:35 You see what happened? Nobody actually ever attempted to recreate them. They all of them were just talking shit. Like, God, nobody can do this too hard. No one actually just straight up just tried to do it. And then Chris just dead it. He's like, what are you talking about? Yeah, I mean.
Starting point is 00:45:48 There's a, there's a grand conspiracy there where I feel like, I really feel like it's like, oh, no one can do it. But if somebody were to come to the government and be like, yo, can I build a pyramid? They'd be like, no, there's zoning laws. You can't do that. Or like, there's no property to do it. You can't do it on somebody else's property. Like, no one's allowed to do it. So no one can.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Yeah, no one's, yeah, people can't do it because no one's been allowed to. There's no room. And in fact, we did do it because we have a fucking pyramid hotel, by the way, which is way more impressive than the fucking pyramid, quite frankly. Like, I mean, it's a fucking, it's a glass hotel. I mean, like, come on.
Starting point is 00:46:27 Like, show me one glass Egyptian hotel. You can't do it. So. Yeah, and they had all that sand too. And by the way, mind freak himself, Chris Angel, floated above it. they had all this yeah they all the glass in the world of their disposal in Egypt with all that fucking sand they could have easily
Starting point is 00:46:47 had a glass they had so much pre-glass and they didn't make anything fucking lose that pictures those pictures by the way of the pyramids where like you could see that was probably I think yeah like where you see like there's like a street with like a bunch of with like a Denny's and it's like maybe like four blocks away from the pyramids and that's where like the city starts, that, that might be one of the most disheartening images I think I've ever seen. Like, as like, when I was a kid, becoming an adult, that was one of the, that was one of, that was one of the, the, the Wizard of Oz, what is it, curtain peelback moments where I was like, oh, man, that's so much less interesting than I initially thought it was.
Starting point is 00:47:33 Because it's just, it's like, oh, there's a Denny's across the street from the fucking pyramids. It's insane. But you feel betrayal. Yeah. They always take pictures from like one angle. It's like you never see the other side of Mount Rushmore where you can see. You never see the other side around Mount Rushmore where you can see their testicles. You see their asses.
Starting point is 00:47:56 Yeah. You see their ass cheeks and fucking. See, that's amazing. Abe Lincoln's hung like a fucking monster. His dick looks more horse-like than human-like. It's crazy. He's like, what is that? That would be so fucking amazing
Starting point is 00:48:12 if there really was another side of that mountain. Oh, my God. And if it was actually that, I would want to see, I wouldn't get a fuck about the heads. I want to go see their fucking ass, their fucking cocks of their asses. That's way more funny.
Starting point is 00:48:26 That's way more interesting. Why? Somebody actually did. Somebody worked on this. Someone spent a lot of time to fucking scalp this shit. That's way more impressive than some boring ass fucking heads. Like, oh, a big fucking deal. Someone worked.
Starting point is 00:48:40 They gave them the curve too. Yeah. Someone spent 30 years crafting all of that with a team of skilled engineers. They went from their 30s into their 60s building that. And they died before it was finished too. They died before it was finished clearly. Yeah, as most people did back then. Man.
Starting point is 00:49:03 Yeah. It's a world out there. Shout out. Shout out to. Yeah. I don't know what the fuck we're talking about. Dead people. Should we move on to...
Starting point is 00:49:09 Yeah, shout out to dead people. Do you want to get into the questions? Yeah, let's do it. All right. Let's get into... We're digging in. We're digging in. Okay?
Starting point is 00:49:24 We've picked... Up until now, we've picked all of the... What I consider to be the best ones. And now, we're going for the ones that we missed. That we didn't get. All right. So here's... Here's one.
Starting point is 00:49:38 one. All right, here's one. Damien Sawyers wrote in. He says, would you guys ever want to get Justin Wang on the show? I think he'd be a great guess and would fit perfectly in the roster of guests you guys have had so far.
Starting point is 00:49:55 Yeah, for sure. I've asked him before, but he's often busy. Like, every time I talk to him, he's like, yeah, I'm about to go on tour. I'm going to do some random shit. Yeah, he's a busy fella. He's always doing some shit. He's that.
Starting point is 00:50:07 He's research. I think he hit me up like once when I was in New York. But I couldn't. My what? Yeah, but for sure. Yeah, we'll definitely. That's that's not something that's like out of the positive. It's really just a matter of like anybody that you can think of.
Starting point is 00:50:24 It's really a matter of like scheduling. That's what that's. I didn't know. And Wang, what's the age he is. If you know that, I didn't know how they choose age. I thought he was way younger. How old is he? He looks young.
Starting point is 00:50:34 He's like a little older than Derek. Yeah. He's probably like either. Yeah, that makes sense. Something like that. I had no clues that he were near close to that age at all. I was like, what?
Starting point is 00:50:45 It's because the shit he talks about and shares is so fucking delinquent. It is true. Well, he has, to me, it actually makes sense when you think about it because like the stuff that he usually talks about is from his time on the internet
Starting point is 00:50:58 where he was just a little bit older so he knew all about all of that like rotten doc. Like he knew way more about it than like say even myself or there's so much. many things. I'm like, God, he has so much knowledge on some of the most fucked up things imaginable. And yeah, that was that was that age of the internet, right? Because my brother was
Starting point is 00:51:18 close. He's close on my brother's age. And so my brother showed me some of that bullshit. But, you know, anyway, I just want to say about getting people on the show, we start doing in a person. Is it just from there on now, it would have to be if he was in the area, right? Right? Or if we, how would we do getting somebody on the show? I mean, I guess we could still do that because I've seen people do that before. Remotly. Yeah. I mean, it would, I would like it to be, I would like it to be in person, but also like, if we really, if we had a guess that just simply couldn't do it.
Starting point is 00:51:59 Yeah. Then, I mean, we could, we could always just do this again. You know what I mean? Like, it's not. Oh, right. It's not really that. That crazy. Like a one-off.
Starting point is 00:52:08 Yeah. There are creators in LA, dude. There are creators in LA all the fucking time, bro. We're in LA. It's fine. I would generally prefer if we were doing a show to get people in person. Like whenever, if somebody's, like, in town, I would, I would imagine that VidCon around that time would be a pretty busy, pretty busy time. We'd have to stagger.
Starting point is 00:52:30 We'd have to stagger, like, things like that. No, for sure. Yeah, that would be good. We'd do that. Yeah. It's not a big deal. Absolutely. We'll do that.
Starting point is 00:52:36 Yeah. All right. Stagger. Let's see. Uh, uh, but, but,
Starting point is 00:52:46 but, but, but, but, ba, ba, ba, ba,
Starting point is 00:52:49 okay, here we go. Uh, uh, Uh, uh, okay, currently getting
Starting point is 00:52:56 some sloppy dome from Golam, Roden, says, hello, you filthy fucks. What is the gayest hobby
Starting point is 00:53:03 a man can have? I'm thinking horse riding. Let the discussion begin. P.S, uh, hearing Sweenean read out the credits
Starting point is 00:53:09 maybe want to rip my eyes out my ass. God bless. You should do it. Pretty good. We should do it next time. Don't talk about it. Be about it.
Starting point is 00:53:17 So do you push them in first to get them closer to your ass? Or do you just reach up in your ass and then grab your eyes? No, no, no, no, no, don't worry, Derek, just do it. Just do it. Send us a video. Send us a video. We'll put it on here. We'll make it the intro.
Starting point is 00:53:31 We'll make the intro. That's nice. Go ahead, but do it. Don't be afraid. Do it, man. We got you. You get your start on, bro. This, this question actually.
Starting point is 00:53:41 made me think of something. This question made me think of like, and it's funny because it's a topic that I had thought up. I put it in the text chat recently, just as like an idea of like a springboard in case we ran out of stuff to talk about. But the idea of like what is the, like what is the gayest straight thing and the
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Starting point is 00:54:52 your business loan may be issued by On-Dec or Celtic Bank. On-Dec does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amount subject to lender approval. It's kind of like what this reminds me of. It's bodybuilding. It's bodybuilding. Bodybuilding is extremely gay. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:55:06 It's respect. Like, it's nothing wrong with it. but it is by nature very gay. Especially, yeah, if you build a community and then you start poaching with all these big fucking sweaty men, it looks very gay porn. And then the reason,
Starting point is 00:55:20 and it's respectable even too because everybody's doing it just to better themselves, you know, and everyone like in a very, in a place that you would normally be around people that are bodybuilding, everyone is just simply there to help everybody else do better.
Starting point is 00:55:33 There's no downside to it. When you go to like a gym and if you're like an overweight guy, people are just trying to help you get your, get your reps. I'm like hey it'll teach you for them. People get offended easily there sometimes because people are like, you know,
Starting point is 00:55:43 it's a vanity thing to a degree. Yes, it is very vain, yeah. Like the body building stuff is very big because it's not because a lot of that muscle is pretty fucking useless. It's not it's not operational muscle at all. It's just like I'm huge. I look good.
Starting point is 00:55:56 I look fantastic. And hey man, you earned it. So I don't think, I don't think. I feel like you get your, you get your, you know how there's like everybody has a moment to gloat about something if you put in the work like it's to me it's like that you put in the work
Starting point is 00:56:14 so it's like somebody like those motherfuckers that will oh I beat a a Soulsborn game without getting hit and it's like damn that's insane like here's your flowers or you have here's time for you to like motherfucker that spends hours and does thousands of reps
Starting point is 00:56:29 I'll give you I'll give you your flowers too I'm like you did a lot to achieve that so even if it's not my thing I can still appreciate it I mean, well, the bodybuilding thing is my thing. Oh, for sure, dude. Like, I'm just lazy. I'm lazy as fuck.
Starting point is 00:56:42 So I do want to be jell- every, like, every person that, like, really body builds. They're, they're super kind, super sweet. But it's a vanity thing. It is vanity thing. And then the vanity thing turns into a dysmorphia thing really fast, unfortunately for them as well. Because everyone I know that does that shit has very, very bad body dysmorphia.
Starting point is 00:57:03 That, like, really works out. Like, when they go and they, like, hit the grind. having it, yeah, without having it in the first place, you can't really get to that level. Yeah, so they get like really, really bad as well because like even our friend Joe, I've spoke to him about it. Like I had like a real conversation about it with him because Joe works out forever. And now he's not, he doesn't do it anymore for size. He does it for functionality. He's about just having a stronger and healthier body now because he's like, because before
Starting point is 00:57:28 obviously when you're younger, you just want to be swole. So now he's like, I want to be as healthy as I can be. And like, that's why he doesn't, he isn't as wide or as buffed up as anymore. And he's like, dude, yeah, it gets bad sometimes because I see my body compared to all people but I don't even look real. And it just fucks with my mind. And then like after a set, like after I deflate,
Starting point is 00:57:45 I look in the mirror and I feel crazy and it's fucking wild. It's like, that's gay. It's very gay. What are you talking about? It's very gay. It's very gay. Just talking about gay men doing gay stuff.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Just being this bodybuilding. Straight men doing gay things. Yeah. Yeah. And then what's the straightest gay thing? You know what? You know what's the straightest gay thing? Oh, dancing, I think.
Starting point is 00:58:04 I think being like a pressional dancer is the straightest gay thing. Well, the gay straight thing. The gayest, wait, wait, because you,
Starting point is 00:58:11 yeah, that works. But, um, because I know ballerinas that'll beat the fuck out of other people. They would pick them up and slam them on their fucking neck. Sure.
Starting point is 00:58:20 And they're built like a little bit bigger than Chris. But they were going to have breaks off of somebody. And they would peer wet over you. Literally. Yeah. I would say, they are some strong niggas. something that like you know like kind of answering that guy's question what just you know seems
Starting point is 00:58:41 the least masculine thing that you could do is probably knitting because that has always just been historically like a grandma thing like kind of like just in like in like society like as a trope so like if you see like a grown ass man like with a beard and shit sitting down he's like crocheting or whatever the fuck you like it's just it comes off looking like Look at this pussy. But obviously, as we go forward in society, none of that shit matters. Right? It's like people are just doing whatever.
Starting point is 00:59:14 That's what wild men do. And I feel like wild men are very masculine. Wildman? Well, knitting is just also just a useful skill. Like, wow, like motherfuckers are like. This is genuinely a useful skill. Like beastmen, men that live on the fucking. Oh, like, they live on the world, you know?
Starting point is 00:59:30 Like the motherfuckers are like, like, out there are motherfuckers, you know? They got to like make shit. been saying this. Yeah. Yeah, like off the, off the reservation people, like, they knit and like crochet, like they fucking gather berries and
Starting point is 00:59:44 like mixed little tonics. Yeah. But they would fuck them most, they would fuck people up. They would just kill them. Yeah, I was always fun that they would have their pet wolf dog like whistle two times and it would trap them. I always find that dynamic crazy
Starting point is 00:59:59 where it's like, oh, women belong in the kitchen. Women are fucking cooking all the time and shit, right? But then like, You know, they're professional male chefs and then those survival dudes, they're all cooking all their own food. So then it's like, how does this, how does this come about when like men have always cooked? You know, like you're the, the mess sergeants and the people like, oh, it's all men in the kitchen in the army and shit.
Starting point is 01:00:23 It's not women cooking and shit. So it was a weird thing how that even happened. Can I make a comment about that? Can I make a weird comment about that? Like, I always thought it was weird, right? Because it'd be like, oh, women, women are now. more passive and all that stuff like that, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:37 But then you look at like females, mammals particularly. Often the ones that go out there and get the shit done are the females. They're the ones that murder things and then bring it back. The men are the ones that are stronger and big and like they're like fight off other dudes. But the women's go slaughter and they're like, here's the food. That's what I want. He brings out. That doesn't make sense.
Starting point is 01:01:00 Well, it's animal per animal, I guess. Sure. Are most predatory mammals, females hunt? Yeah, but not primates, which is what we are. I feel like they all get their food there. I feel like primates, everybody gets the food. I have no idea. It isn't really like a male or woman thing for primates.
Starting point is 01:01:18 They just get food. Kind of, well, I mean, you're not necessarily wrong, but it's also, I mean, it's very, like, there's a lot of documentation. They also don't really hunt. Well. Right now with Ramtruck's declaration. of deals. Well qualified current FCA lessees get a low mileage lease on the 2026 RAM 1,500 Big Horn crew cab, 4 by 4 for 369 a month for 39 months with 4,099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra. No security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM 5722 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution
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Starting point is 01:02:19 Apply in minutes at on deck.com. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by On-Dec or Celtic Bank. On-Dec does not lend in North Dakota all loans and amounts subject to lender approval. They're not hunting animals really primates. What are you talking about? Well, they hunt each other. Primates. They'll kill each other.
Starting point is 01:02:36 That's true. They'll fuck each other. That monkey going wild than that other monkey. The video of that monk, that chimp throwing another chimp, is one of the craziest fucking videos. Have you seen the video of the chimp slamming that other freaking monkey into the ground had like sped up right over and over and over and over again? I've not seen that now.
Starting point is 01:03:00 The skin came off of it. Like its skin was coming off the monkey because it slammed it into the floor so many times. And I was like, whoa. That's not real. I swear. I swear. It's a real video.
Starting point is 01:03:15 It's insane. You're inventing that. Yeah, there's no such thing as a chimp. I remember watching me like, I watched it and I laughed for a little bit and then it got not funny anymore. And I was like, this is not funny. I don't want to look at this anymore. And I turned it off.
Starting point is 01:03:28 There are no chumps. Whatever, dude. there are no there are no war in Bossing Say bro there is no war there's no war I almost posted
Starting point is 01:03:38 what is it because there was that video or not the video there's like some article of um of Joe Biden saying there's no genocide in Gaza
Starting point is 01:03:47 and I almost just replied I was like quote tweeted it with just that girl's face from Avatar which is like there is no war in Bossing Say because like what a fucking insane
Starting point is 01:03:58 like it's so crazy What a load of shit, dude What a lot of fuck It's fine, bro He's sleeping at night, bro Just real quick before we move on I was last He's sleeping at night because he can't stay awake
Starting point is 01:04:09 Okay Go on, go on Derek No, I was just just Like with what you're saying I was like This is so wild But then like him saying that And then I've just been
Starting point is 01:04:22 Obsessively watching World War II stuff And watching the propaganda Around the war at that time And I was like Well, I'm like Why am I even saying? it's literally exactly the same. It is,
Starting point is 01:04:33 like, nothing has changed at all. The propaganda, like, even when, like, say, I was just watching, um,
Starting point is 01:04:38 the firestorm that happened in Germany, I forget which city, I can't remember off top my head right now, but like, a bunch of people, the propaganda was saying, oh, 200,000 people were killed,
Starting point is 01:04:47 but it was more like, you know, tens of thousands. But the whole thing was, the Americans were downplaying the fuck out of it. The, it was like, it's this,
Starting point is 01:04:55 it's literally the same thing where there, uh, the Churchill was like, ah, fucking Churchill's like That's all good Nothing really happened What's that video of
Starting point is 01:05:04 What's that video of George Lucas Where he's like It's like it's like history It rhymes It rhymes it's like history It's like a poem It's like lyrics It's like
Starting point is 01:05:21 Does somebody bash a fucking chair Over his head after he said that Just put him out of fucking commission So they can actually Yikes him He used the force and he used the force to stop it. Ow, stop hitting me with that chair.
Starting point is 01:05:36 Stop it. Hey, dude. Hey, dude. The trilogy is pretty good, man. Leave it alone. The idea of some guy hitting him over the head with a fucking computer chair. Like one of those with like the fucking. Like one of the freaking like a like a gamer chair, like a heavy duty one.
Starting point is 01:05:56 And it just shatters. Yeah. And he just goes, he just goes, Ow, no, no, no, it's one hit, it's one hit, but it breaks. It breaks the entire chair. And he falls down. The chair, the chair, every part of the chair with the exception of like maybe the part that someone's holding on to hit it with combusts into dust, basically. Like it's just, it's all, it might as well be fiberglass.
Starting point is 01:06:24 How fine the fragments of that chair have become. and the fabric as well also bursts into dust it's just like ow ow why have you hit me I don't
Starting point is 01:06:40 I'm a billion I'm a billion that hurts slightly slightly annoyed slightly annoyed he's like what the fuck
Starting point is 01:06:52 he's fine bro there's no way he should be awake he doesn't even get up to do anything back. He just looks back at him. He was like, what is your fucking deal, man? And then he runs, he runs and ties
Starting point is 01:07:04 the person who hit him. He ties the person who hit him up to his car and drives real fast and drags him down the street. And he's like, it's just like what happened Mussolini. It's like, it's like history. It rhymes. It's like history. He's going at least 175 miles per hour. He's driving
Starting point is 01:07:20 so fast and crazy. He's redlining. He's so redlining. George Lucas. George Lucas running around recreating famous historical assassinations and atrocities, just so he can say to himself as he's committing it. It's like, it's like history. It rhymes. It's like it's like a song or a poem that rhymes. He's dragging some guy down the street like Mussolini bouncing him off of mailboxes and fucking pine trees and shit.
Starting point is 01:07:54 It's fucking crazy. Just bumping him, dumping him, boinking him in the head. He hits a mailbox You see a splatter And he gets pulled off Like a cartoon He gets like winchew wiped off And then drag some more
Starting point is 01:08:08 That'll teach you to disrespect I'll teach you to disrespect me Yeah He's The world around him zooming And he's just The little Yeah
Starting point is 01:08:24 Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah yeah I love I love George
Starting point is 01:08:32 I love this version of it I love this I love this I like that's a good that's a good character it's a great person is he a sociopath
Starting point is 01:08:41 or is he just kind of really he's just really obsessed with patterns and creating them he runs into like an American nuclear facility and just like
Starting point is 01:08:50 it just like it's like slaps his hands all over the keyboard it's like Chernobyl it rhymes it's like get out of here George
Starting point is 01:08:58 Stop! Stop, George! He presses the best. He presses everything. He presses everything he shouldn't. He presses, like, like he knows. He, you guys, you guys remember him to the smudgebob? He remembered him to the smudge by when he came through the wall. He was like, er.
Starting point is 01:09:22 I was just thinking that. I was just fucking thinking of that. The idea of that. all the buttons that's not walking no that's not walking that's moving yourself forward to be able to do because the idea is like his feet
Starting point is 01:09:38 you got to look at his feet right he's looking at his feet right stationary where they are so that means that he just willed himself forward through it Mr. Lucas
Starting point is 01:09:51 stop please wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait I have to make I have to make it rhyme. It doesn't rhyme yet. It doesn't rhyme yet. What do you mean by rhyme?
Starting point is 01:10:05 We're going to die. You're going to die. You're going to die. Yeah. You're already dead. You don't know this yet, but you're already dead. Actually, as I'm hitting these buttons, you're dead. You've taken too much radiation.
Starting point is 01:10:21 You're already dying. Look at that. You're already dying. Oh, man. You better not have sex. You give her cancer. You already die. In two weeks, your skin will fall off.
Starting point is 01:10:32 Bye. He leaves. By. By. During him in handpropic, there was his moment, right? He's casually leased, bye. Throw it. The idea of...
Starting point is 01:10:49 So during World War II, they were, like, doing tests with, like, very radioactive metals, right? Yeah. And it's literally, while they're doing the test, right, there's this little, obviously like a very dense lead ball over it to prevent the radiation from leaking out. One woman is a woman actually which is crazy. She mistakenly
Starting point is 01:11:07 moved the thing a little too much for a moment and in two weeks later everybody died. Yeah, killed everybody. And it was funny because when she did it, yeah, when she did it, the guy that was a professor looked at her he just like, like you dumb, that's all the most
Starting point is 01:11:24 just the most like, of course you did it. The idea that you would be in that situation where somebody did something like that, like They unleash, like, they press the button and, like, a valve opens that, like, very clearly unleashes, like, strontium-9 into the room. And, like, you're dead in that moment and you know it. And all you can really do is just glance over at the person who did it, like, because what, like, what are you going to do? What else?
Starting point is 01:11:51 That is it. Like, that's, there's all. It's not worth, it's not worth getting mad at them. Just go make your peace. That's it. It's like, whatever, man. Well, you, you would want to be mad. I got things to put into fear.
Starting point is 01:12:03 Since you already know you're dead. Like you cycle through every step in an instant because you're just like, I would absolutely beat that person up. I would want to, absolutely, especially if it was a woman, I would probably be like, I'll be back. Well, why wouldn't you? I'll be back. Well, here's my question is like, why wouldn't you knowing that like you're not going to get punished for it? You're going to die in two weeks. Like what are they going to do?
Starting point is 01:12:31 You put you in jail? I wouldn't because it's just, it's no point. At that moment, there's just no point. You're gonna die. Go get your shit in order. Like, that's what I would do. Instead of being mad at that, I'd be like, look, just call my wife.
Starting point is 01:12:49 Call my wife. Let me talk to her. Like, hey, honey. What's going on? Hey, honey. George Lucas, George Lucas bursted through the wall. Hit all of the keys on the panel.
Starting point is 01:13:04 And I will, I'm going to die in two weeks. I can't see you. I'm irradiated to my core He said make it rhyme a lot I don't know what he meant by that He's probably gonna do more things I need you to get the police I saw him walk through metal
Starting point is 01:13:19 Or move through metal till it bursted So you know Probably worry about that Some really strong cages Because he's gonna keep going So yeah Love you sweetheart Tell the kid he's not mine
Starting point is 01:13:29 Goodnight He's like a wet Like George Lucas is like a weather event To these people Like you can like forecast him Like it's just like well We've got like a 30% chance of George Lucas Popping into town trying to make things rhyme
Starting point is 01:13:45 So stay indoors Lock your windows You know you're not going to want to be outside after dark But that's for sure And Lock your windows Don't play anything Play everything Star Wars involved
Starting point is 01:13:58 You have to keep Star Wars playing the whole night Or else he will come in your house And he'll He'll What's up Can I ask you a question What's that? Would you
Starting point is 01:14:09 Would you turn yourself over to Bobbidi's magic If you could be as strong as As Masha Vegeta as you are now Like my scale? Like you, like you as you are currently scales to where Scared where Vegeta ended up after right?
Starting point is 01:14:28 Yeah, yeah Ooh, would you? I don't know. Would you guys? I just don't know. No, I wouldn't want to be a servant to him. I wouldn't want to be a servant to him. I wouldn't want to be mind controlled, but I love the idea of, like, celebrities. I don't know what I'd be able to break free?
Starting point is 01:14:41 Bobbid and Kingston. Well, that's, well, was it, was it you that, was it on, oh, it might not have even been on the show that we were talking about, like, Majin Seal. Yes, you were. Did I ever mention this year? I wasn't here. I was not here for that. So, do you know, so I don't think it was on the show. I don't think it was on the show. I think it was in person when we were hanging out.
Starting point is 01:15:04 But, like, the idea. of like, you know Seal, right, Kiss from a Rose. Of course. Like, if he turned himself over to Bobbidi's magic and he became Majin Seal, and he was just somebody that we had to, he just had, we just had to deal with him as like a force of
Starting point is 01:15:22 nature. Like, it's like, oh, Majun Seals been sided on the coast of fucking Barbados. We're going to have to, you know, causing problems, keep our eyes. Keep our people, keep our eyes open. Are we saying this is so, so, So Seal has always had like
Starting point is 01:15:38 maniacal like tendencies and then he finally just got his opportunity to terrorize the world. Is that what we're saying? Was his wife, Brooke Shields? Right now with Ram Trucks declaration of deals, well qualified current FCA lessees, get a low mileage lease on the 2006 RAM 1500 Big Horn crew cab 4x4 for 369 a month for 39 months with 4,09
Starting point is 01:15:59 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra. No security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM. 2-2 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. On Deck is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow gaps, On Deck's loans up to $400,000 help make it happen fast.
Starting point is 01:16:30 Rated A-plus by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five-star trust-pilot reviews. On Deck delivers funding you can count on. Apply in minutes at ondak.com. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by on deck or Celtic Bank. OnDek does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval. Right? It was Brooke Shields,
Starting point is 01:16:49 right? That was his wife. I have no idea. I have no idea. I think she's a sea lion. She was a model. She was a model. This is my wife's This is my wife, sea lion. It's the seal and sea lion.
Starting point is 01:17:10 What the fuck? That is so dumb. But, um, that's stupid on a level that I can't even like, I almost can't even find. I'm like, I'm like searching. I don't. All right.
Starting point is 01:17:27 So he's, he's, he's, baby. Yeah. So he's, so he's a dark, he has dark tendencies. he's, Majin's, like, if it's, okay,
Starting point is 01:17:39 so let's say it doesn't scale to Vigita's level, but like he scales in a way that, like, from saying, from default Vita to Maja Vigita
Starting point is 01:17:48 is like the scale of like what a normal person would be to like that version of a normal person. So theoretically, like you'd be able to probably pick up a car. You know, I don't know if you'd be able to fly necessarily,
Starting point is 01:17:59 but you'd be able to jump like probably damn near. People can't fly. So we wouldn't be able to be right with that. But you would also, you'd be that money more. I'm going to look up the multiplier for a... Some fucking autistic kid probably fucking did this. So he was like, the multiplier between margin and Vida, right on the Dita,
Starting point is 01:18:15 is approximately $7.40 million. Yeah. So he would... So he can jump maybe like... He can jump about, like, I would say like maybe like 11 feet. You know, like that's how high he can jump. If he's like really pushing it. Wow.
Starting point is 01:18:30 Like he's really giving it as all. So he's, he's a content. He's strong. So you'd be... You get about, well, think of it like this, right? Spapovitch and Yamu, right? The ones that fought, um, Vidal, I gotta fought Vidal and beat the living fuck out of her.
Starting point is 01:18:46 He had his neck broken, like, snapped the wrong way, and he just put it back. He was a regular fighter before, like, he was less than Hercule, and he came back and he was literally a monster. Like, could fly. Okay. He could fly afterwards and shit, actually. Yeah, but that was.
Starting point is 01:19:05 So you might be able to fly. But that's, scared. See, a flying seal is like no joke. See, a flying, a flying Majin seal is nothing to joke about. That's nothing to scoff at. That is, um, that's something that we're going to have to really contend with. Probably no energy blasts,
Starting point is 01:19:22 because let's just keep it realistic. Um, um, but he's flying around. He's flying around probably, probably with like a machine gun, uh, or something or some, some, instrument of, uh, instrument of death and destruction. Um,
Starting point is 01:19:37 What if he throws seals at people? I think you become pretty... You become pretty strong. He collects... He flies to the fucking ocean and picks seals up and beats people up with him and that's his calling card. That's like his joker fucking calling card.
Starting point is 01:19:55 Is that like, how do you know, oh, man, look at all this death and destruction, but there's like a random seal in the middle beaten, like, damn near to death. And it's like, oh, man, Majun seal's been here. We're going to have to call President Joe Biden and then Joe Biden comes on the phone he's like what's going on
Starting point is 01:20:11 he's like President Joe Biden we've got a Majin Seal attack on the Eastern Seaboard it's like I don't know I don't know what that is who's I met Majan's I remember him from when I was a young boy when I played with all the seals he's like no Joe it's not this is not
Starting point is 01:20:29 we're not talking about the animal there is an animal related to it but it's not the he's not the core problem the core problem is not the animal It's the fact that the singer seal, famous for Kiss from a Rose, is now imbued with magical powers.
Starting point is 01:20:46 Under control of the winter bobby. They know, they know who Bobbitt is. Whatever, man. Oh, Bobbity. Bobbity. Oh, right. What's going on?
Starting point is 01:20:57 Right, Bobby. Yeah, that's right. Oh, Bobby. Yeah, that guy doesn't read the boo, right? Baby-de-Bobbidi-Boo. Right? Yeah, I remember that. But Tucker, Tucker, Tucker.
Starting point is 01:21:06 Tucker Carlson goes on his show he's like the government doesn't want us turning our power over to Bobbidi Why? Why is the government so afraid of letting us, why is the government so afraid of letting us surrender ourselves to Bobbidi's magic? Bobby never heard anybody. He's the staring at the camera for way too long.
Starting point is 01:21:27 It's your own free will. He's not forcing you to do anything. He tears his face off and it's Bobbity. It's Bobbity in disguise as Tucker Carlson. Bobby's been talking about it. Carlson this whole time? This whole time. That would be a mind fuck.
Starting point is 01:21:41 That'd be a mind rape. I'd be like, what? Why is he bobbity? That's what I would just ask. I would ask it like that. Why is he bobbity? What if every time you met a Trump supporter? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:56 You didn't realize it, right? But like, let's say you have like an altercation where they fall. They fall down and then they scuff themselves. They go like, ah, and then they wipe their forehead. And then an M is on their forehead. and then they run away real quickly that it would make some sense
Starting point is 01:22:12 dude I don't know man this kind of level of power I might I might do the whole embobody thing you know well here's the thing if if if they had to end the entire time if they had to end the entire time right like and say they were the ones that stormed the capital it would actually be like well that power ain't that good
Starting point is 01:22:30 the fuck like that that's actually not that good yeah Because that shit They're broken They're strong They work in unison They all right Yeah
Starting point is 01:22:43 Like a black security guard Kept them back Yeah They some Some shit got shot in the neck And then that was That was over Like that's not good
Starting point is 01:22:51 Like they should be able to catch a bullet Or something Hey whatever Maybe I don't know man Because you'd be Think of how I'm this thinking
Starting point is 01:23:00 Because Vigita's not a good scale Because Vidita's just strong To begin with right It's hard to really understand how strong Vegeta got but we know that Spapovic
Starting point is 01:23:09 and Yamo got fucking wildly stronger from that shit that is the scale we have at least those motherfuckers got really strong
Starting point is 01:23:17 whatever whatever we got look we could be debating the ethics and the power scaling of Mashi and seal
Starting point is 01:23:23 till the cows come home yeah but uh the ethics what does that phrase even mean what does that
Starting point is 01:23:31 what does that mean the cows come whatever loves to spooge rodin and your face from the sea you became that's all
Starting point is 01:23:42 that's how he communicates is that he sings that song with different lyrics baby I'm gonna kill you in your sleep and fuck your son's ass ooh fill a full of cream corn
Starting point is 01:23:53 and my dick's gone no no no we can't mix we can't mix these things we can't be mixed these things loves to Spooge loves to Spooge wrote in he says
Starting point is 01:24:05 hello Jojo's bizarre Badland Chugs and Brandaniel. Here's a hypothetical. You're in line at a bar, and the bouncer says, welcome to the spermy spatoon. How gay are you? How do you respond? I'm like, I'm so gay, and I'd come in his face while I'm right at a finish.
Starting point is 01:24:24 I'm so gay and had a blast. I'm so gay. I had a bowl of cum for breakfast. No, no, I mean, no jerk. It would be, I'm so. so gay and then come. He's just coming in his mouth. I'm so gay, a bowl of sperm for breath.
Starting point is 01:24:45 I'm going. Without any semen. Whoa, you go in, buddy. That's crazy. How did you even extract the semen from the little wiggling? He's just a little wiggling. There's no semen in it whatsoever. Wiggles in a bowl of wiggles. Whoa, that's pretty crazy. I thought you were going to say still.
Starting point is 01:25:04 I thought you were just going to say I had a bowl of I had a bowl of cum for breakfast without any milk I'm just like what the fuck why would you add milk to come in the person like why is milk
Starting point is 01:25:20 the changer you're already drinking cum why even like why even bothered without any milk so what he's saying is that he normally has cum and milk
Starting point is 01:25:34 but he's like you know Shut the fuck up. Do not save it. You take the milk away. This is some tough shit right here. Like, it's not even masking the flavor. It's not even masking. This is the real shit.
Starting point is 01:25:46 Yeah. It's almost like a, it's almost like a mixed, it's almost like a mixed drink kind of. Like, it's like, wow, you take shots and you don't, you don't have a, you don't have, you don't have, you don't mix a gum with a, you don't put, you don't have, you don't have, you don't mix a cup with a mixer. You don't chase your cum? That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy.
Starting point is 01:26:04 He just out of his mind. He doesn't, he just straight, the idea of like somebody being like, hey, you go to a bar and like, hey, what can I get you? Let me get some cum. He just puts the cup by his dick, bust in the fucking shot glass. He hands into you.
Starting point is 01:26:23 He slides it down to you. Little spills on the counter. And a guy's like, awesome. Awesome. Wow. No, it's glippery, too, so like it's a moat. It's just, it's a, it's a boh. He's licking it inside of it.
Starting point is 01:26:48 Every little bit out. Wow, that guy's really gay. Whoa, this guy's super gay. Oh, man. All right. 50 shades of gay, rodent. God, that's a... 50 shades of gay rodent.
Starting point is 01:27:09 This is one that... This is another one that I chose not to use for the previous episodes, but we'll use it here since we're at the end of the month. We're picking up all the stragglers. He says, or she says or they say, Hey, Seinfeld, Kramer, and George. That's it. That's a nice.
Starting point is 01:27:31 That is well worth $5. That is... That totally caught me off guard. Oh, my God. What's the question? We do have a... Right now with Ram Trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees,
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Starting point is 01:28:57 it's a follow up on like something that we did in the advice in the advice column which is uh these It's a series of episodes that we have over at Patreon. Patreon.com slash the Star Tank, exclusive episodes over there. It's pretty big, it's good, but I feel like we should just read that next time we do it. So I'm going to, I'll save this one in a Google Doc. And then we'll get to that one. Let's see.
Starting point is 01:29:21 What are the ones we have? Okay. Randipe Kang wrote and he says, all right, guys, Blackman's Justice League members and Blackman's Justice League contingency. Oh, right, black men. Yeah. She, black man. So the members, so is it just all, like, racist stereotypes? Like, like, China Man is one of his, uh, his, is faithful, like, like China Man is.
Starting point is 01:29:48 Like, Chinaman is too, no, no, do, do, do, do. Oh, man. Hey, so that's one of them. God damn. He has a slut. The black guy is this name the N-word. The black guy is just the N-word. No.
Starting point is 01:30:02 That is his name. he's already black man no his name is the N word I find there's black man and then there's the N word but he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like the venom yeah he's like the venom to his Spider-Man
Starting point is 01:30:19 is just like I'm black man and he's just a mensch he's like a menstrual show character that's crazy that's black man what you doing that's already that's No, because no, no, no, black man would just be a black man. No, we are just a regular black guy?
Starting point is 01:30:40 Were you, you weren't paying attention? Oh, no, we did. I forgot. I forgot. Wait, oh, my God. How did black man look? He looked. How did black man look?
Starting point is 01:30:50 Like a menstrual. Really? Yes. We made a whole character that was. So is. Kingsen, Kingston, Kingston. Let me just a regular guy. He's just a regular black person.
Starting point is 01:31:01 Let me, let me refresh your memory here. I can't believe. I don't remember. I'm sorry. So the whole thing with Black Man was that instead of Batman being afraid of bats. Oh my God. Yes, I get it. Okay, I remember, yes.
Starting point is 01:31:14 It was Batman instead of being afraid, instead of being afraid of bats, he was afraid of black people. And he went around disrespectfully impersonating black people. Yeah, because he thought it would strike fear into the hearts of everybody else. Like, it struck fear into him when everybody else is just kind of like, that guy is just not. That guy's scary because he's clearly doing something. insane, not because he's a black guy. What the fuck is he doing, dressing up like this? But, and so he thinks it's working, and so he doesn't drop the, he doesn't drop the bit.
Starting point is 01:31:44 What would, what would Superman in this world look like? Um, I think he'd just be a fucking Nazi, and he have a freaking, what to call it? He would be probably a Nazi, yeah, I think so. Captain Auschwitz. Yeah, something like just racist shit. No, no, no. That's not, that's, that's awful. I think, like, more represented of not the atrocity, but like the, what, like, you know, some Aryan shit or something stupid like that that has to do with their...
Starting point is 01:32:14 Like the denier? The denier. All right, let's move on. Nothing happened here in the 40s and 50s. Not one thing. So we got China Man, I want the invisible sluts. Let's move on. Let's get...
Starting point is 01:32:30 What? Are you fucking... Are you trying? Try to derivisible slut. Invisible slut is one. Aquaman is come man, come man or seaman man, I don't know. What should be? Seaman man, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:32:45 I like the idea of Flash being the speedy spook. Does that work? No. We already have a, we have a black. It's, it's, it's, all right? There's only one black guy? Because I would assume it be, because I'd assume it'd be inverse, right? Maybe be inverse, right?
Starting point is 01:33:01 Whether it be, is there only one black character? Well, there could be a black Black. Yeah. He's, he's pretty, he's, so then me making him
Starting point is 01:33:11 the speedy, funny. This is why we got to, or would Flash be, would Flash be slow-mo? Now, he would just be like a, he would,
Starting point is 01:33:19 Flash would literally be a flasher. He would, he would run around a trench coat. Oh, he didn't really quickly. Yeah, he would, so he would, so he would, I did it,
Starting point is 01:33:28 I did it technically, but you didn't see. Flasher. Okay, we like that, Flacher. Um, We need like a fat one. Like someone who's just like a fat and retarded.
Starting point is 01:33:37 Like should it just be fat. Rottondo? Oh, I got, I got a good idea. He'll be, he'll be, uh, uh, rotundo. And rotundo will, uh, he'll, he'll, uh, he'll, uh, he's, his superpower is that he's so fat. You're a slut. Yeah. He's so fat that nobody loves him.
Starting point is 01:34:00 That's his power. That's his power. That is so fucking crazy. All right. You're so fat. No one loves him at all. So far. Everybody hates him.
Starting point is 01:34:11 We're just going to do the superhero arc. So far there's black man, China man, invisible slut, rotundo, flasher, and possibly cum man. I don't know about that one. But we got it's pretty good. Yeah, see man. Or sergeant's flude. I like sergeant's blude as well.
Starting point is 01:34:29 Oh, see man. Yeah, seaman. Sergeant's He sounds like He sounds like a fucking It's a funny That's a funny name Right but that sounds like
Starting point is 01:34:46 He even sounds like a royalty free character Within the context of this fictional universe Like the idea that you would even have like a sergeant anything As a part of a Justice League is so insane Okay he's basically Captain Cole avoid copyright. He's basically Captain Cole. He'll be fucking Sergeant Spluge.
Starting point is 01:35:04 So that's a, there you go. He just shoots cum at people. He has a cum ray. Great. Amazing. Yeah. No, the idea is that he'd, he shoots you in a ray, right? You'd think it's just snow? And he'd be like, this is frozen cum.
Starting point is 01:35:19 This is slushy cum. I'm saving this for later. Loves the Spooge, Rodin, and. Did he get in your mouth? Loves the Spooge rodent again. He also has another one. Dear ghetto hooligans and Mr. Whiteman. Sir, are there any 90s or early 2000s commercials that live rent free in your head to this day?
Starting point is 01:35:39 I got one, but. I have one from like the late. I don't know. It'll bother you guys. I have one from the late 90s that was like a, it was like a commercial for like a casino called Foxwoods. And I don't remember, I don't know. I don't know where exactly it is. I think it's either Atlantic City or like Connecticut or.
Starting point is 01:36:03 If I'm not mistaken, it's in Connecticut. Yeah. Or in Atlantic City. For some reason, I don't know if this was airing on Cartoon Network or what, but like I saw this commercial a lot where it was just like this like Frank Sinatra style kind of like lounge swing song. Or it's just like take a chance. Make it happen.
Starting point is 01:36:24 Pop the dough. Finger snapping. Spin the wheel. Round and round we go. And it was like it was like it's for some reason. It was like the weirdest. It's like. a very catchy fucking song
Starting point is 01:36:35 for this casino that I've never once wanted to go to or ever been to or ever been curious about but like that song lives it's very East Coast by the way there's like no shot that this was advertised anywhere else every New Yorker knows that fucking commercial it's great
Starting point is 01:36:51 like that's I know all the lyrics of that song still to this day and it's I don't I haven't heard it in years same bro but yeah it was that was hammered into me for sure So there's a commercial like put it in and sip, sip, sip, sip, sip, sip, pull it out and munch, munch, munch, munch, all together now.
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Starting point is 01:38:21 Okay. All right. So hold on. There's a video. I don't remember if I put it on Twitter. I know it's like I see it every now and again pop up where we're in the living room watching that commercial. and we're arguing about whether or not that kid is dead. And it's a serial straws commercial with the actor Cameron Boyce when he was younger.
Starting point is 01:38:38 And Cameron Boyce did die. He did pass away. So like we were watching, I can't remember what the fuck. It was like during the pandemic, we were watching like old, like long compilations of old commercials just for like nostalgia and just to laugh at it. And that commercial came up and Kingston was like, that kid's dead. We were arguing about it. It was like, that kid was like, why would you assume that kid is dead? Like it's an insane assumption
Starting point is 01:39:01 It's like I know he's dead I know I know But you were right You're totally right he's dead I know I felt it Yeah For me it's also the credit What you call it the college
Starting point is 01:39:14 Connected for free Education Action Commercial I'll never forget that song In my life I can't There's two There's two major things
Starting point is 01:39:24 That so there was a crossfire There's a toy called Crossfire And it was the most dramatic commercial lever. It was like you would shoot these little steel balls like they're like uh they're they're like a bebees and you would shoot them at like this thing you had to like move them it was maneuver it was like I don't know like a bay blade almost type of thing but not like ripping some shit or something it's like shooting things that things and they're clashing and the commercial is so fucking
Starting point is 01:39:53 dramatic or like it looks like some like tournament pit thing and the guy singing like crossfire you'll it got up in the and then like he like does some crazy like 80 scream at the end cross fire and you're like this is the craziest thing ever and you play it and it's the most boring fucking shit ever it's the most boring fucking shit I know that commercial
Starting point is 01:40:14 I know that commercial because I've seen videos about it but I never watched I never watched that I've never saw that commercial on TV but like that I've because I think the angry video game nerd did like a video about it or something like that it was definitely like one of those people but that's those those commercials are insane yeah i think there's a
Starting point is 01:40:36 the only other one that comes to mind of those free credit report the free credit report com commercials those those ones are really like when they had that band doing the jingles for them f r e that's supposed free credit report dot com baby so the ad on my tv wanted to wait one of my time i'm saying back around with fat yeah i'm i forgot what the other lyric is my legs are sticking to the vinyl and my possees getting laughed at. F, R-R-E, that spells for you. See, that's the thing
Starting point is 01:41:02 It's like, why do I know? Like, I haven't heard these songs in fucking forever. But like, I mean, it works. I remember them. It did. It totally did.
Starting point is 01:41:13 Back in that, we don't have jingles anymore, that's why. Yeah. That was, that was the resurgence of the jingle era. That was the most of the ones like, they say a man should always dress for the job he wants.
Starting point is 01:41:23 So why am I dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant? It's all because some hacker stole my identity. now I'm in here every evening serving chowder and iced tea should have gone to free credit report dot dot I remember that I remember that now It's insane
Starting point is 01:41:40 There's a there's exactly what I'm talking about By the way earlier with the fucking memories Just sitting in your brain Were you gonna say, Derek? Yeah There was a There's a show called Bonanza
Starting point is 01:41:52 Like a Western And I used to watch it Yeah my grandma loved it Yeah I used to watch the shit out of it And Taco Bell They did a It was a grilled steak Taco or something
Starting point is 01:42:06 The commercial They were promoting it And it was just It was to the jingle of the Of the intro And I was like So I run in a room Because I don't have my horse
Starting point is 01:42:15 Do ride there You know Like there's like Something grilled steak A Taco Bell It was so fucking Like catchy and cool And I was like
Starting point is 01:42:22 Yeah They don't Because they don't have to Do shit like this anymore Right They don't have to It's all lazy as fuck But
Starting point is 01:42:28 that was cool and just some little message on Instagram they show you something pretty much like three four times they're like oh I guess I want that now did you guys ever see survival
Starting point is 01:42:39 like insurance survival insurance commercials because like it was there was one that was the biggest bullshit ever because this guy his car breaks down and then as hot as babe comes rolling up
Starting point is 01:42:55 she's like hey you need a ride it's like yeah and then he goes are you insured? She's like, yeah. He's like, by survival? She's like, no. And then he goes,
Starting point is 01:43:05 I can't take that ride. And then she fucks off. And I'm like, in what fucking universe? Like, oh, I'm only going to get in a car that's insured by survival, some bullshit. She probably has fucking state farms.
Starting point is 01:43:17 She probably has top of the, you know, tier insurance. Better. And she's like a better insurance. A hot boobied bitch, probably going to get slammed, you know,
Starting point is 01:43:25 and then he's just like, nah, dude. I need that fucking $20 $15 month insurance. Yeah. Nah, you fucking, I want $15 month insurance. Get the fuck out of here. It's ridiculous.
Starting point is 01:43:36 It was a great commercial. But those are the ones, those are the ones that stick out to it. I'm sure like there's a lot more than I remember. Like, because I've definitely seen commercials like recently, like they pop up on Twitter sometimes or I'm like, oh yeah, that's right. So I remember a lot of them. But yeah, those are the ones that come to mind. Demons Rage Road.
Starting point is 01:43:54 And he says, okay, so this is another one that I skipped. Let me tell you if this is. Let me get your opinion on this one. It was worth skipping on. Demons rage running. He says, yes, every time you all talk about it, I go skip, skip, skip, skip, skip. I mean. Thanks for the $5.
Starting point is 01:44:11 Facts. I mean, facts. You need you, you, you, whatever you skip, that's what the skip button's for, bitch. Thank you. Exactly. Congratulations. Erm, ooh, eh, um, brood. And he says, I've been real dumb.
Starting point is 01:44:25 What the hell do I do? Uh, be less dumb. Yeah, you go to school, you dumb, bitch. What do you mean? Go to fucking school. Get to education. Pass some SATs or whatever the hell they do now. I don't even know what they do now.
Starting point is 01:44:42 Like, uh, they, it's always different. It doesn't matter to me. It's been to school in forever. Okay, yeah. Well, do that shit. Yeah. And then, and then, if you're still dumb, just,
Starting point is 01:44:56 yeah, well, yeah. You should just go to like, do gay stuff. Just lean into it. Just lean into it to experiment with gay people. experiment with gay people in college are you telling him to experiment on gay people go are you telling him to experiment on gay people yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:45:12 do medical experiments like gay people Billy Moll wrote in speaking of speaking of medical Billy Mode wrote in okay so these are ones from the last like two days like these are the final ones
Starting point is 01:45:27 like the last ones for the month basically Billy Moll wrote in he says hello boys first time patreon member i work as a tech in a pharmacy and have an interesting story a boomer-aged man came in and requested a refill on his insulin i looked at his profile and he still had two months worth at home so i informed him that he had to come back in two months for a refill he threw a fit stating that he was out then i told him to go home and double check he stormed out but not before saying you better put in a good word for me at the nearest cemetery he called back an hour later and apologized as he accidentally placed some of his insulin pens next to the butter in his
Starting point is 01:46:01 fridge. Do you have any story, do any of you have a story about ridiculous customers or clients at work? Thank you. Next to the butter. So like in that little, because usually the- Usually the fridge has that little section for the butter, right? Like the one little part, you open it up and then the top to the right, there's the section you put the butter in. So he like put his pins in there. He's just like, yeah, this is good. I'll remember this because I used to the butter. I used to every day. It is. Forgot.
Starting point is 01:46:36 Yeah. His mind is not what it used to be. That's true. That's sad. That's actually kind of sad. It's a little sad. Oh, man. I used to work at Albertsons.
Starting point is 01:46:47 I used to work at a really shitty... Well, I'm sure a lot of you probably are aware of Albertsons. And so I had a extremely perverted boss who gave all the women raises and not the men because he was trying to like butter them up. and like fuck him and stuff, but he was like disgusting, as though it didn't work. And we had a lot of insane people there. Like, there was this, I'll, this one lady,
Starting point is 01:47:17 she was so upset that she told, she, I could, this still baffles me to this day because she was like, I bagged her stuff and, um, I just put like, okay, I put her hot dogs on the bottom of one of the bags and then I put the marshmallows on top because, you know, you don't want them get smashed or whatever. Everything's sealed.
Starting point is 01:47:36 Everything's good. And then she fucking looks at me and she was like, excuse me, my hot dogs are touching the marshmallows. And I was like, I didn't know what to say. I was like, I,
Starting point is 01:47:52 what do you, what does that mean? I didn't know what that meant. I was like, your hot dogs are touching the, like, they're not, they're packaged.
Starting point is 01:48:01 What do you mean? Like they're, I, to this day, I'm not sure what she had a problem with. Like, not exactly. Like, was it the fact that one was cold and, like, was that the thing? Like, oh, cold.
Starting point is 01:48:15 Because to me, I always try to put the colds with the colds, but it was just, this made sense how to do it. This was like, all right, this was the last thing in the bag. But she specifically singled those two things out. And I don't know if she just has, like, a problem with literally a marshmallow touching a fucking hot dog. And I don't know. It was one of those things where I had nothing to say. And, uh, that was. that was the least. I've dealt with
Starting point is 01:48:37 weirder shit there, but that was one that kind of still baffles me. I still, I'm like, I'm not sure what you meant by that. And, um, I hate customer service with all my heart. I feel like, I feel like there's one time I worked at Starbucks where like I would give some guys
Starting point is 01:48:53 chain instead of holding his hand out to grab his change. He kept fucking up and he dropped it and he got out the car and he started yelling at me. When he got out the car, he saw how big. guy was and his whole demeanor changed. Because I think he didn't understand that I was a giant and I could probably eat him.
Starting point is 01:49:15 So he's like this Armenian dude started getting really loud with me. It's Glenn to Armenian. So if you know, you fucking know. But so he started getting, because I was like, I was giving him his thing and I was like, hey, man, here you go. And obviously I know how to hand people things, you know, people. And anything, if someone misses up handing something to you, your brain kind of auto corrects like, hey, like.
Starting point is 01:49:36 Let me auto-correct and get this the right way. And he kept yelling at me and I was like, bud, it's really not that serious. Like, I'll go outside and I'll pick up your money. I'll hand it back to you. It's like $14, bro. And I saw EBT card in your fucking wallet. Like, chill, bud. But like, he kept yelling at me and I was just like, dude, okay, whatever.
Starting point is 01:49:55 And then he said, he got out the car. He said, yeah, and I was like, dude, it's really not that big of a deal. I got you. So I gave him a free drink. And he like drove off. And he came back later on in the future. He was like, man, I'm sorry, bro. was having a bad day and I was like dude right now with ram trucks declaration of deals well
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Starting point is 01:51:11 They don't have any pride. They don't have any honor over there. I would have never come back to that store afterwards. But I was just like, I would be going, this store's dead. This store died. Dude, can I? You talk about like handing change. Like, something that frustrates me still to this day is like, and I don't know why it
Starting point is 01:51:30 bothers me so much, but it does. every time I pay for something in cash and they they and I need change in some way if I need change that's like a dollar like any kind of like if it's if I get changed that's paper and coins
Starting point is 01:51:42 they'll always give me the paper and then they'll put the coins on top of it and that frustrates me to no end why I've handed to you because I just I want to because I want to I don't like the idea it's like all right well then I'm going to have to ball
Starting point is 01:51:57 this whole thing up and then shove it in my pocket I can't really put it in my wallet yet I've got to like I don't know. It's, I don't know why, but it really fucking bothers me.
Starting point is 01:52:07 That is your minority in this one. I know, I know it's weird. I know, that's fine. I know, it probably is for sure.
Starting point is 01:52:14 But like, it really, like, because I, I want to be able to, like, if I get my change back, I want to be able to put it away,
Starting point is 01:52:19 like, where it's supposed to be immediately. Like, I don't want it to be, like, sitting in my pockets because I forget shit
Starting point is 01:52:23 in my pockets sometimes. And then I do the wash and there's like, ah, god damn it. Or like, you know what I mean? hand me the coins.
Starting point is 01:52:33 Wait, but like, so they want to hand you, they don't want to do two steps, right? They just want to, like, hand you the stuff. Like, because that's basically the way that I would do it. Like, you know, when I would have the cash register or whatever, I would try to just give it to you all at once. So it's like, here, the coins are, are supported, and you have all your shit now.
Starting point is 01:52:54 Like, that's, now, you can do. I guess how I feel, how I feel about it, how I feel about it, right, is that, like, I would rather get the coins. coins first because the coins can't really go in the wallet anyway. There's no real place for coins in a wallet. The coins are going in my pocket. But the bills have a place in the wallet. And so if you put the coins on top of the bill, then I then have to fucking do like a tablecloth maneuver to get the to get the fucking bill out into my wallet and they do all this extra step. But it's just like,
Starting point is 01:53:20 give me the coins first, dump in the pocket. That's a second. Then give me the bill in my wallet, bam. But instead you've given me this like one book. You've given me this laundry to do basically. Like this is Well Chris When you're given your change right Most humans They take it They take the bills
Starting point is 01:53:37 They put the change in their pocket They put the they put the They put the money They take the dollar bills They put it back in the wall They paid with just usually And then they put the change in their pocket It's like that's
Starting point is 01:53:50 Yeah but the thing is like for me It's like I'm very I'm very I'm very cognizant Of like I don't like to waste People's time At like the at like registers and stuff So like if I have to If I have to take any extra time to separate the coins from the bill just to put it in my wallet neatly, I won't do it.
Starting point is 01:54:08 I'll shove it all in my pocket because I got to get the fuck out of there at least I got to get the fuck out of there. So the person behind me isn't impeded by me taking a little bit longer. You just got to walk two steps up. Like I just get, I get away from the where they, you know, right from the register. I step up right where you know, you gather your items and I am out of the way. I'm out of the way before they need to You know like I'm completely out of their way And so you don't spin fucking like a minute there
Starting point is 01:54:35 You spend like an extra you know 20 seconds maximum Granted Californians the way niggas orders shit out here And the way motherfuckers in track or registers out here Fucking makes me want to hurt myself It's unbelievable It is un- It's fucking believable bro It's pretty disgusting honestly
Starting point is 01:54:53 I'm not I am not an impatient person And I am not a rude person when it comes to ordering lines at all. I'm very much of someone that was standing there and I'll wait. I've gone to banks with my grandmother's while she's opened accounts as a kid and I'm just there. I'm just in 161st Street in the Bronx
Starting point is 01:55:10 just waiting for my grandma to talk about how it's going to affect her fucking her overshore counts or whatever bullshit. I'm just sitting there. But people go up to the counters and they're like let me find my car and I'm just like what are you doing?
Starting point is 01:55:27 You're in a line? you prepare to pay you pay you leave that's kill a yeah that's kill we went shopping now one night chris you went we went shopping that one night like pretty late in the evening when you drove and the motherfuckers in the line were taking like 25 excuse me 25 minutes to just pay i dude i was losing it and i was like this is crazy what was this we went shopping in the evening one time because you drove you drove joe's car before you bought it from i'm pretty sure you drove it to um you went to Vand or some shit like that and it was an evening it was like sort of like nine or ten we were just buying groceries oh I remember this yeah yeah and the people that were paying were taking so long to pay and I was freaking out I was like it does it take that long to pay this is dude this is my experience everywhere I go like I don't like this is this is that that memory doesn't stick with me as much just because that is every that is almost every single interaction that I have ever witnessed at a at a grocery store at like a register it's always people making conversation or spending or they're always surprised for some reason it's always like oh my oh my wallet oh I should grab my what's like you're in fucking your pay you're in line what do you mean you're just getting your wallet now huh it's crazy and I don't know I feel like Lily had that problem for a little bit until she started dating me and I started mentioning it and now she notices people take too fucking long to pay and
Starting point is 01:56:58 And now she's like, yeah, it's ridiculous. And I'm like, it's, yeah, I don't do. I don't, it's, and because it's like when you're in line, it is a New York thing probably because we're in a rush all the time. It's a cultural difference. Right, yeah, like a New York minute kind of thing. When you get in line, when you get in line, you're like, oh, I'm in line to pay. I'll take out my stuff to pay or I'll take a notice to like, I need to have my wallet right here.
Starting point is 01:57:21 My wallet's right here. I go up. I load my thing. By the time they're already scanning my shit, I'm already over by the register. my wallet open ready to start paying. The thing is I treat cash, I treat lines at registers. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you, Derek.
Starting point is 01:57:37 This is the last thing I'll say about it. But like I treat registers almost like I treat the airport line before the fucking, before the scanner thing. Where it's like, I'm going to get everything that I need ready so that I can just fucking bit pop bam, like, you know, just get the fuck in and out of there
Starting point is 01:57:55 right everything. I'm not like fumbling over like, what my number is when I put it in the thing or like what my code is. I've seen people typing on that thing, that keypad, for like an inordinately long time. Like a confusingly long time. Like how are you spending five straight minutes? Like actually I timed it at typing on the fucking keypad. What do you do? Look, what are you playing fucking RTS?
Starting point is 01:58:23 It's insane. I, uh, here's the thing. Here's the thing that's really, I don't have very many experiences like that. I don't know if it's bad luck for you guys or if I, like, I'm very, I'm very, I'm very, I'm, I, I'm very impatient person like that. So I think I'm very good at picking the shit because I, I've made mistakes. Every once in a while I make a mistake. And the one thing why somebody takes a long time is they'll be using WIC. And WIC is for, you know, the people that need to get shit for their kids.
Starting point is 01:58:57 So they'll get like, the government will give them free stuff. Yeah. It's designated stuff. So then they need to verify that it's the right thing. And they got a, right. It's a process that I've wanted to kill myself being in line. Is it, is it still that way? Well, it's been a long time since I've like, because I'm self-checkout.
Starting point is 01:59:15 Maybe. I don't know. Who the fuck knows? I have the only time I don't go and self-checkout is like a traitor Joe because there isn't one. So like every other fucking store I go to is self-checkout. So I have no idea if WIC or anything like that still exists. I don't think so. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:59:28 I literally have no idea anymore. Well, there it is then. That's kind of the thing, is that there's a lot of places. The places that I go to most often around here don't have self-checkouts. They're just, they just happen to be like the most convenient. Because there's a Trader Joe's, there's like, you know, certain convenience stores that they just don't, for some reason, they're all register. And what adds to it is there's no self-checkout and they're all understaffed in addition to that. So there's like, there's like four registered.
Starting point is 01:59:56 and there's only one person working at the register who's very clearly not paid enough to care. I wouldn't care really either if I was being paid what I was being paid to work there. Are you kidding? So like it's a mixture of a lot of fucking problems.
Starting point is 02:00:10 Understaffed people not really having proper etiquette in like lines at these places and also just the fact that these companies are paying these people not enough to actually care about like what they're that, you know. Right. It's a fucking, it's like a Powerpuff Girl's recipe for like
Starting point is 02:00:25 just a completely terrible retail experience. Also, also, I'll be, I'll be, I'll be very real. It's probably be the fact that we are so used to it moving fast, that just simple by proximity of it not moving as we are, we're perceiving it as moving even slower. That might be a very real thing as well. Whereas like, it might just be like a decent time. And we're just like, come on. We're in page and everything moving so fast.
Starting point is 02:00:47 I don't even think so necessarily. I think some of the time, but like I do think most of the time because I've, dude, there's a, there's a convenience store around me that is always. always understaffed, always. Oh no, they are always understaffed in general. Oh, no, but hold on, hold on. There's always like, there's always a long-ass line that takes in, say, and I'm usually the person complaining the least.
Starting point is 02:01:10 I'm like, I'm, I'm saying all this shit in my head, or I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Like, what is wrong? Like, why can't, what is going on in this world? But then other people in line are like, hey, can we get a fucking other person on this other register over here? I'm giving them a New York accent. They don't have New York accents here.
Starting point is 02:01:29 They're all Armenian or something. But, but like people, and it bothers me too because like they're just like disrespectful to like the one employee there. I'm just like, dude, fucking. Yeah, like it was their fault. It's not their fucking fault. Because they've never had a job. That is why they've never done that job. I feel like everybody should work a job like that.
Starting point is 02:01:48 That is why. Yeah. They've never had trust. It should be mandatory, dude. I stand by that. You should have to work a period of time in retail because you. are, it is seeing people that have never worked the food service jobs or like retail jobs,
Starting point is 02:02:02 seeing the way they treat those people makes me fucking sick. Yeah, it's pretty disgusting. They don't deserve that. This person is disgusting. Right now with Ram trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, get a low mileage lease on the 26. Ram, 500 Big Horn crew cab,
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Starting point is 02:03:07 All loans and amount subject to lender approval. You're absolutely right. You're fucking sad. You're what I'm sure right. Because I've almost snapped a few times and I would just lose my job. That's it for being talked to like I made less than a person. I would just lose my job.
Starting point is 02:03:19 It's insane, dude. I've seen my boss get spit on, bro. If someone spit on me, it is game time. Yeah. I am going to choke them. I am going to choke them fall on the ground and make sure my back is to the floor so no one can get me off of them.
Starting point is 02:03:40 I've been lucky. I'm going to try to kill them. I got lucky doing my cashier job, though, only because, like, doing the cashier thing, it was, it almost was like a game to me and, like, see how fast I can scan shit. So like I was lightning so nobody had any time to complain when I was scanning shit because I was I was the fastest by far because they would have numbers. They would keep track of all that shit.
Starting point is 02:04:09 And I would destroy everybody because first of all, let's be honest, even though it's not anybody's fault, people on average are dumb and slow too. Like so even the workers. And they're not there's no incentive. They're not incentivized to even be faster. So there's that too. but even if they were, they're not that good in the first place. So it's like, here's somebody like, here's me. I'm not retarded.
Starting point is 02:04:32 And so it's like, all right, I can just, I know where all the scan things are. I started learning everything is. So I'm just fucking blazing. And so people don't even have time to complain. And that's not the average experience. So it's like, that's, it's all fucked, man. I think that's a video, that's a very video game, that's a very video game oriented mindset, too, because I feel like I had the same thing where it was like, I would try to, like, speed run my job a lot.
Starting point is 02:04:53 100%. Like I would try to like how fast can I like how fast can I scan every single thing in the in the electronics department and like update the sales tickets? Just just to give myself some something to make it interesting because otherwise it would have just been so fucking bland and boring. You'd want to kill yourself. That was Starbucks, but they would still always find a complaint. Yeah, that's the worst one. The whole time of Starbucks. The barista is the worst.
Starting point is 02:05:20 I would do shit ahead of time and they would still find a reason to complain. And I'm like, what's wrong with that? What is wrong with, like, I would get there, right? And they'd make do the pull, right? So I'd do the pull. I'd pull all the beans. I would take everything, everything that knew that got dropped off for the week of sales. I would take it all out and I would rush and I would do it real fast.
Starting point is 02:05:38 And they'll be like, well, you do scan this? It's like, yeah, I did. Well, redo that again because now you're just doing this. And I'm like, I did it ahead of time. It is already done. I don't need to do it again because it's already done. I did it. There's a problem with it, though.
Starting point is 02:05:53 And I'm like, you know what? Just come in their fucking face and leave. I'm going to come at you when you turn your back. You're going to turn your back and walk off, and I'm going to come at you. I think that's sexual assault, though. I can't just be doing that. It definitely is, but I appreciate you go to jail for that. You got away.
Starting point is 02:06:10 You skirted the charges, so you're good. It's real fast. It was, it was. the fuck's really not good Derek you're right no I was just picturing fucking Kingston coming on you
Starting point is 02:06:28 and you're like real quick kind of like you felt something but you know you're like you're not sure you just go about your business right now we're doing the podcast right and I think it'd be funny
Starting point is 02:06:39 if all of us are doing it and then just one person walks by like one person walks by in the background I like one of our things that would be fucking cool who's that dude in the back that'd be cool editing
Starting point is 02:06:49 who's that dude in the back your thing He's like, huh? Who? There's no dude in here. Stupid. All right. That'll be, uh, that'll be, that'll be it for all, all the questions.
Starting point is 02:07:05 Um, we have one left, but we have another episode to do anyway. So we're just, we're going to save that one for the next episode. And then we'll, uh, we'll round out the month. We got one more this month? Huh? You don't, we haven't, you have one more this month or not? Oh, well. No, no.
Starting point is 02:07:21 Oh, yeah. Well, it's not worth it's not. It's literally just bland. It's a, I can read it, but it would be a waste. You got to write, listen, here's the thing. I appreciate that you guys, I appreciate that you guys send your stuff in, but at the same time, I don't want to incentivize people to write in nonsense. I want to incentivize people to write in good questions, which is why I typically don't read the nonsense ones. That's the only reason. But at the end of the month, maybe. Maybe it's a no-holds bar type deal. Thank you all for supporting. Patreon.com slash a Snark Tank. Snarktank. Shop for all your merch needs. And we'll read our $25 and up patrons now. Count me now. Three, two, one.
Starting point is 02:08:09 Hidden women. Vaughn of the Dead. Spiro confidently showing up on the set of Rupal's drag race, unaware that it's not short for dragon race. That's so stupid. That'd be so fucking funny. He's just there. He's like, what's going on, man?
Starting point is 02:08:30 I'm ready. They're like, yo, that's a dragon that's talking. Round-eyed Asian, Slender Man's gay brother. Slender Man's gay brother, I like Menderman. I like Menderman. That's so fucking, dude, dude, clap. I thought you might like that one.
Starting point is 02:09:00 That's a good one, dude. When I was reading the credits for the last episode, because we had to separate him, I was like, I specifically said, like, I think Derek Kixel will get a kick out of that one. I like Menderman. Menderman. It's literally, it's facilitating your joke at any means necessary.
Starting point is 02:09:19 It is. I like that. idea. This has got to make them laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good job. All right, uh, wearing a trench coat to terrify and mystify. Uh, phallic Baldwin skeet shoot.
Starting point is 02:09:38 I ain't shooting blanks. Went on leave to Thailand and hit up Lingling the lady boy, took a big sniff of that Mahi-Mahi and stuck it in his back walls. Uh, carrying Chris around town as my pocket pussy. Mikello Harris, transmask pussy. Hey, hole fister by train. Damn. Hey, ho, fister.
Starting point is 02:09:59 I like making blisters in your booty hole. That's so stupid. Turin pussy. In this life or the next, Dick Stone Cold, call me BBC Austin. Springsteen, I'm on fire. Oh, oh, oh, I am gay. Pooped in a sack, call it poop sack.
Starting point is 02:10:16 Lil Wayne telling Drake to keep it Canadian. Jack, the world's fastest mayor. Charles LeClerc won the Monaco Grand Prix. Let's go. Comcast, Wells Fargo. Allstate Nike, Kellogg, Julip Packard, CV, Mastair, MasterCard, Dow Chemical, Macy's 3M Delta Airlines. Big meaty stinks.
Starting point is 02:10:30 Andy the man who's handy is now A-tier, but not as dandy, sprinkling MSG on my dick and making him suck. Sweene sounds like chills when he reads. Chil! Number 15. Number 17. I was walking. Cedric Biggerie.
Starting point is 02:10:49 It's like history. It rhymes. Heath Smoker Hearing him say that is crazy Lawyer Lawyer Lawyer Lawyer
Starting point is 02:11:01 Lawyer Lawyer Your way out of being Gay as you throat me Gids We should make fun of Sween
Starting point is 02:11:06 The same as Koso The Immortal Jellyfish I only fuck In fluorescent Lighting Homeless Transfam
Starting point is 02:11:11 Who Comes Kodak black Getting castrated For raping Irm Um E E
Starting point is 02:11:15 Aem Um Listen to Swords Drawn by Army The Faras and see Viracan has a sample
Starting point is 02:11:20 They're like Jedi Mindtrakes One of my lecturers got cucked by the lead singer the pixies I once saw Sweeney do a 50 Do 50 slow handstand push-ups KSE my curse There has come burning to find you
Starting point is 02:11:30 Will you come for me Mr. Pants I write fanfix of Chris and Sween Getting impregnated by mutated Musilie Bunny Peeps Baller of the First Sin Spum befudders Sweeney please come to Sweden
Starting point is 02:11:42 The gnome hunting season is on right now Oh that sounds fire To hunt some gnomes in Sweden Jolly old dipshit Honk Thorsela Honka's wheelchair mounted bike horn he uses to communicate May thy load
Starting point is 02:11:57 drippins I really love honked or Salahanka man Like it's such a good fucking name May thy load drip and splatter Cypher graph fiberglass fleshlight
Starting point is 02:12:09 prank I can't believe they put a black person in my historical fiction game I am going to climb but this is ridiculous Hunter Dubois just pussy using a riot shields Lily milk and Asman Gold
Starting point is 02:12:17 for just one drop of piss What pussy would make a hypothetical with a gay little red chode wolf Not a gray wolf Reds are nearly extinct They suck so That's literally I didn't even Make a mistake reading that
Starting point is 02:12:32 That's literally what it says Lily's Asparagus binging piss dealer You must go to the bodega system Uh Caucasian container The Crackerel for Gays disgruntled Donald Trump burbing out Dom's clit A Frenchman ate a plane
Starting point is 02:12:48 Google it and discuss She Derek on my Sweeney to like Chris. Can you please leave a few seconds of silent audio at the end of each podcast episode? Patreon always cuts off a few seconds. She Pipkin on my Pippa, Pissom. Call her Robert the way she goes downy on my junior. That's a good one actually. That actually is one that follows the – that actually is one that follows the template coherently.
Starting point is 02:13:13 That is probably the best one. That is the best one, for sure. That's the best one I've heard, I think. Yeah. Um, that's so dumb. Okay, Daddy, Derek, you can you can fight a wolf. I believe in you. Insulting that, insisting that bryl is a stand-up guy.
Starting point is 02:13:28 There's no need to insist because it's self-evident. A monkey biting a baby's soft spot. Just the hard R. Star Coffee ripped the digital hook and now I'm being molested on the set of Ambrionic Sheldon. This episode of Star Tank is sponsored by Booty Talk 93, which features actual twin sisters. My son froze to death in the waste of Ohio by going homeless to pay you fucks.
Starting point is 02:13:58 And now this is Memorial Rip John Transfem Grummel, exposing people with lactose and tolerance to 90 million rodents of ionizing radiation. Yush, Wurps, Craig the Canadian. I'll have you know I am very retarded. It's your boy, Shawnee Dee. Age and 47 in a lobster suit, giggling and wiggling his knees like a schoolgirl
Starting point is 02:14:15 waiting for warranty harding to enter the kitchen. 3XO. And that alien, I really got to make that clip. I got to clip that Okay, so wait, hold on Let me write these things down Because there's one today too That I wanted to do
Starting point is 02:14:30 Whatever 3XO and that alien from St.ero 4 Who says, who says, Whoops, after killing 7 billion people Somebody that I used to know By throat yay There is no cock like horsecock Send your asshole into shock
Starting point is 02:14:40 You need horsecock of course cock Slurping stroke and smoke and joking Emotocon's going like this Drip MH Lord of Homeless drip If I were getting eaten by a bear I would try to jack off real quick Just to see what would happen Boeing Battle Royale
Starting point is 02:14:53 Obi won't you blow me Norwegian game dev now developing Piss Quest featuring Lillian Swin Kremlin to Gremlin Lord Bartholomew Hand Job Inventor of anal sex I'm gonna steal your bones I take sacks to the face
Starting point is 02:15:04 whenever I can Tune of Remember the Name 5% gay 50% anal pain That doesn't work You gotta keep your eye on the syllables Come come come come come come come Come come come come come Are you ready Shadow Man
Starting point is 02:15:18 I love cock and other things of that matter, I'm gay. Gay, I don't know why that got me for some reason. I love cock and other things of that matter. I'm gay. Gay slip not be like thrust inside, put the penis in I. Wage Slate 583, a sad guy from Michigan, telling the boys it's not gay to mix common to our pre-workout
Starting point is 02:15:43 and not crossing my fingers and sighing when nothing happens. The Pepini Brothers presents Mass. Roshi Flo, they forgot I was him, so I hit him with General Blue's Third Reich's there. Donk, Donkerson, definitely applause, definitively, applesauce. Trying to trip me up with my dyslexia. It's not going to work. I read that already last time. Listen to hit my spot by Your Pretty, hands down one of the best original gay songs I've ever heard.
Starting point is 02:16:09 You got to pay the trolls told to get in the boys' hole. Gade 6. I'm smashing that jazz cabbage by the 30s on Cap No God. Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh
Starting point is 02:16:21 Uh Uh Uh Uh I think I think ESPN is just ESP
Starting point is 02:16:26 But for black people That's so stupid That is dumb No Grammar notes for Sween That's so stupid That's wild
Starting point is 02:16:40 No grammar No grammar notes for Sween Everything you do In the pot is fire Keep killing it Gooner Wonderland By Earth Wind
Starting point is 02:16:44 And Come Um Um Uh Ah, help, fuck She knocked on my loose Till I suffocate RFK's brainworn
Starting point is 02:16:54 I'll carpet bomb The Gaza Strip for a quarter Um John Strickland My partner snapped The chairs off My Chris Reagan U2s
Starting point is 02:17:01 Then proceeded to tear My legs off In self-defense Merks 1889 My man too Flose My man flew too close To the sun
Starting point is 02:17:08 Totally gave me The Icarus The First Church of Key David Yes I would Genocide the fuck Out of some pizza Second Church
Starting point is 02:17:16 of Key David Feet better than the first search of Keith David. Pre-Raz, Blake 896, disastrously big dicks, dicking down big booty bitches productions. FYI, it's been almost a year and Mama J.F. is still missing.
Starting point is 02:17:28 That's fucking crazy. It's crazy, man. Man. Chris trying to read like, blah, blah, blah, blah. Both JFK and RFK have holes in their head. Alaskan oil field trash, Texas Tater Salad,
Starting point is 02:17:42 Young Sheldon shot in Times Square, Sue Hulk Tickle my ass hairs Nikki Zicky Jerry Seinfeld picking up his underage girlfriend Sorry Miss Jackson Badly Brave
Starting point is 02:17:54 Huggard Derek Duck Hunt The vegan necromancer I got consent Aetherian Brogerian punter Melfus 1 finally rehabilitated And back in the saddle
Starting point is 02:18:02 With two functioning hands And rounding out our list As always The King Of a hap Hazard Let's go Thanks for stopping
Starting point is 02:18:13 Bye Let's fucking go I'm gonna go There used to be Another Uh seal But now I'm margin And I'm gonna kill you
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