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with permission hey look he said hey look he said hey look he said hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey
hey everybody welcome to the snark tank podcast um unfortunately uh
you know, we are going to have to start this episode off on a somber note.
I'm here with Kingston, obviously, but Derek obviously is not here with us.
He couldn't join us today.
He is very, very busy crafting a spear out of old Native American bones.
I don't know why.
But in his stead, we have Eminem here.
We have Eminem here as a replacement guest.
Yeah.
And yeah, how's it going, man?
Yeah, man.
Fucking welcome.
I feel very welcome.
And I'm just here to promote my new hair dye.
And I got a single coming out.
I got a single coming out called Houdini, which is better than Mussolini.
and who also likes to eat Linguini
and who has a bottle with a genie
Well
This is a sneak peek to the song
Huh?
Well
A sneak peek to the song
You're giving us?
So maybe
You know,
to be honest
The song has even finished yet
I haven't even
The idea
The idea that he would just
Announce a song
Before it was even remotely
Like he's just like
You know what?
I got to get
I got a lot of fire under my ass
I'm coming out with a song this Friday
and then he's got to be like, gosh.
It's called Houdini.
And he hasn't even sat down to write anything.
He's like, I'll just send alarm clock early.
It's literally, I'll set alarm clock early 6 a.m. on Friday or on, yeah, yeah,
at 31st.
And then I'll, I'll figure it out.
It's literally just, uh, it's just about magicians.
That's it.
It's not even really, it's not even like a clever, it's not even like a clever, like,
metaphor or anything.
It's, it's just.
he's just talking about cool magicians that he likes he's like i like houdini he's cool
he makes my weenie and i don't even i hate oh he rap the raps now it's just like it's so choppy
but not in a good like choppy like yeah it's too angry like and then he'll get all playful
like i don't i don't know what happened like it doesn't you don't have you ever have you ever
just gone back and listened to something you made
a long time ago and be like, yeah,
I should do this maybe. I like this.
I should, maybe I should go back and draw
inspiration from this time.
And I don't mean like his hateful, like,
but like,
his flow was good back then.
I don't know what happened.
How does that happen?
Yeah, I don't know.
He's older, dude.
But like, your, your sense of
what you enjoy in your art form changed,
especially over 20-something years, nearly about,
and literally in two years,
his first mixtape came out 30 years ago, dude.
Infinity was his first one, no, Infinity.
Infinity was his first one, I think.
Infinite, infinite, sorry.
That is almost 30 years.
That's 96, right?
Yeah.
Bro, 30 years you change, you know?
Like, it's not, he just, you know.
No, he's gay, no.
It's unfortunately.
But Kanye.
I guess, I guess, I,
I guess the issue is...
Kanye constantly comes down in new, like, kinds of styles.
It's just how they are.
The issue, I guess, would be that, like, if he didn't change, people would also kind of...
That would also be a problem for people.
It would be a problem for...
Critics, but they don't matter.
That's the thing.
Like, you look at a band, like, disturbed.
Like, they...
Their shows are always sold out.
They're always...
They're fine.
Even though people make fun of them for, like, oh, every...
song sounds the same essentially.
Like, their fans don't give a flying fuck about that even in any, in any capacity.
And so if, what if disturbed came out and they're like, you know what, we're going to start
making circus music.
And people would be like, yo, what the fuck just happened?
Like, he's just like, you know, like, he's just going that, that.
And then there's that.
Dun, dun, then, nana, and that.
Like, I actually want to hear that.
I'm actually want to hear that.
Now that I, now that I put that out in the world, I want to hear some, like, clown.
crazy to that fucking circus song.
That's one of the most famous songs ever, bro.
Isn't it crazy that that circuit?
Do you know like the actual story behind that circus song?
Not at all.
No clue.
Like, do you know what that is?
That is supposed, like, that, that's, that, that is like, was originally composed
and I'm not, this sounds like something I would make up because it is really funny,
but it's actually true.
It's like, it's called March of the Gladiators, and it was meant for warriors.
Can you think of a like
Can you think of like a genuine
Can you think of a more degrading
Over time
Reputation for anything?
I like is there anything that has had his reputation degraded
I'm not kidding
I'm not kidding
That is that is the historical origin of that song
It was composed for like just for when the gladiators
Were entering the Coliseum
It's insane
I
The idea of that song.
No, it doesn't sound right, of course,
because we're so fucking accustomed to it being clown oriented,
but like, it's real.
The idea of hearing that song while you're about to get killed is wild.
Like, you're trying to fight another man off your body
and that shit's blaring.
And you're hearing that, you're like, no, no.
And he's trying to bash your head in with a rock.
Imagine getting your penis scraped off by a lion to that music.
What is wrong with a little?
fucking crazy.
This was a Czech composer.
Julius, I'm not even going to try.
It's like it's just,
look, his last name is fuck with a bunch of like squiggles and shit.
Like Julius fuck is basically his last name.
I'm not even going to try to pronounce how it actually is.
But, uh, yeah, yeah, you're right.
Entry of the gladiators.
Uh, but yeah, it says military march composed in 1897.
And, uh, I.
What is the original, like, what is the original version of it?
Like, what is the original version of that song?
It sounds more orchestral.
It has to be modified, right?
The original sounds more orchestral, but it's still goofy.
The, dun, dun, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, like, that is such a, that is such a vibe that would not get you hyped up for anything other than it does sound like festivity and games.
It does not sound like a military is marching and stuff.
Which, to be fair, I guess, I guess, I mean, to them it was, though.
So, like, it was less about the glad.
Because they didn't give a shit about the gladiators, you know what I mean?
They wouldn't be putting them in the fight in front of lions if they cared about it.
They were just like, we want entertainment.
That is the silliest song ever.
So for them, I guess it was like basically like a carnival.
It's like, hey, everybody, look who's coming in.
It's the entertainment.
Look what kind of poor is going to get beat to death by a lion today.
I'm just trying to buy food or eat bread.
I'm just trying to picture an army doing, because you know, you always see those marches and they're all in unison doing all that.
shit and it looks like, well, it's crazy.
I'm trying to picture, what is it, the check, I don't know what art, I'm assuming,
since a Czech guy wrote it, is that kind of aramee.
Oh, God, yeah, I'm seeing, no, that looks that, that's bad.
I'm seeing, I like the video.
The video is called what I'm looking at right now.
It says how the clown song was meant to be played.
Like, it's, like, that.
The beginning sounds respectable.
No, but no, but listen.
No, but listen, for real, like, really think about this for a second.
Is there anything?
Anything.
I don't know talking about, like, individuals, because individuals, of course.
Like, you have, like Bill Cosby and fucking, you know, people have had their reputations
absolutely tanked.
Is there, is there anything that has had its original purpose squandered so deeply as this song?
going from like a march for gladiators
or an entry for gladiators
to a fucking clown anthem
Is there anything?
The American government?
I don't fucking know.
No, this is the worst.
This is the worst.
Like you look at like the...
It's definitely still silly as fuck, but like...
Some people are saying this is like,
this is actually a perfect...
This is a perfect...
Like, this perfectly describes the vibe of the...
They said the Austro-Hungarian armies in the 20th century.
So this actually does make perfect sense.
So this is the...
are people that are probably kind of disrespecting that region saying like yeah yeah this actually
this this it captures it perfectly i can't speak on that obviously um but yeah that is that that's got
to be disheartening for especially the people over there that probably had pride when they
heard that right like these 17th century people are like this is this is this is the shit this is
our shit. And then I don't know how many years later, how many years later that it became like
the clown thing? Because this guy said he wrote in 1897, so it was almost a turn of the century
for them. And then at some point, like in the 1900s, it turned into clown music.
Like, and it's like, was it maybe during World War I, it was like propaganda or something?
I wonder what happened. Because that's, that's fucking sad.
Damn game. Yeah. I'm a damn.
game. I'm super, I would
watch, I think I would watch a documentary
all about the fall of the clown song.
Like I'm, I'm so
genuinely curious about like,
like, how, like, what,
what were the steps? The rise and fall of the clown song.
The rise and fall of the clowns. I'd like, when did it
start? Like, did it start ironically?
Was it like, oh, I've got an idea.
We're going to like, we're going to bring in
clowns, but we should do it to like
bad, like, when they still thought it was
badass. You know what I mean? He's like, let's bring in,
let's start with this badass music.
but then like we're just going to send in clowns
and that'll be the joke.
And then people obviously when they were in the 1900s
they had no real means of even knowing what that song was.
So they were like, ooh, clowns.
And then it's just, I'm so fascinated by it.
Yeah.
Somebody said it sounds good if you separate clowns from it.
But I, the intro, like that.
It doesn't sound bad.
I'm sorry.
The, that does not sound cool to me in any capacity.
It sounds completely.
like show tunes.
It sounds like you're supposed to be dancing, not marching.
It sounds like somebody is dancing, somebody has, even like the ringmaster is like leading something.
You know, it doesn't sound like, oh, yeah, look at the, we've got to take this serious.
It's a serious song.
It doesn't sound serious.
It doesn't sound bad, but it doesn't sound serious.
You also can't separate clowns from it.
Like, how do you even do?
Like, how do you do that?
Like I really, I can't, I can't do it.
You can't do it.
All your knowledge of it is involving clowns.
Of course you can't do it.
Nope, but that's what I'm saying.
It's like, somebody's like, oh, it sounds good if you separate clowns from it.
It's like, how do you do that?
That's impossible.
I mean, it's like, oh man, the Dragon Force sounds really good if you separate the guitar from it.
It's like how.
Yeah.
What?
What do you mean?
I mean, yeah, you can't at this point because, yeah, I literally just found the today, the day of the 5th, the 29th of March,
20, 20, 24 is when I found out the purpose of this song.
So my entire life, my 36 years of life, I thought this was literally a circus song.
And I, which is, I remember when the clown world meme or whatever started propping up and people started using that song a lot.
And there's a, there's a version on YouTube that has tens of millions of views.
And I just assumed that's the original song.
not a fucking marching band type of vibe.
So this is fucking hilarious to me.
They're like, oh, how come I'm surprised
no one ever mentioned this to me before this?
All right, fair enough.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know how I learned that.
I think I was probably,
I was probably strolling on TikTok and it caught my attention.
It was one of the few things that's like, damn,
this is such a real ones.
They're like, don't, don't.
Did you know that clowns, don't?
Did you know that clowns are eating puppies?
Also, look at this.
Yeah, no, I think it was, well, they do eat dogs.
I've watched, I've seen a clown eat a dog before.
Like, that's not like a, like, at least twice.
I've seen a clown face fuck a dolphin until it popped, but like, damn.
Yeah.
It was most red.
The sea world.
That's a sea world, right?
At sea world, they do have that clown that they let loose.
He's in every Wednesday.
He can breathe on the water way longer than the human.
should be able to.
Like, it's crazy.
Like, he's under there longer
than the whales are.
It's wild.
You know how, like,
you know, I've been doing, like,
um,
anyway,
we,
we've been doing all that gay shit,
the gay cover shit and all this stuff.
Uh, so in,
I don't know,
middle school or something,
system of a downs popping.
And we were like,
it was basically one of those things.
It was like,
well,
how about semen of a clown?
And it became like,
uh,
like somebody drew like a,
my friend drew like a really good picture because he's like a really good artist so then there's just a clown
holding semen in his hand and that was like the cover art of the band semen of a clown
like a jar of it or like just it was just dripping in his hand he's just holding it in his hand
and it was dripping out of his hand like he just busted in his hand like he was he was fucking edging
for a while he was probably edging like all day and then he just bust in his hand and it was just
tripping out of his hand, which I can see a clown doing.
That's fucking great.
Busting into the palm of your hand is such vile, fucking...
It's so primitive feeling.
It's so primitive feeling.
I don't know if I've ever done that.
You feel like there's so many steps behind what a human should be.
I don't think I've ever came in my hand before.
I've never done that.
I don't know.
I've definitely come in my hand before.
There's no way.
I've definitely come in my hand before.
You've never...
Wait, wait, hold on.
Wait, hold on.
I've definitely, like, I've definitely beat my dick and like...
And then you just caught in.
when it got on my hand.
I'm just like,
I'm fucking on.
It was like,
it was like escaping.
That's not the same thing is holding your hand out.
Oh,
no,
like,
can I have some more,
sir,
and then come falls in my palms?
No.
I've never done that.
You were doing Oliver twisted,
beating off.
You're doing it.
I somehow was playing both roles.
Yeah.
Both the fucking constable
and fucking Oliver Twist rolls.
Yeah, you...
Oh, man.
I have some more, sir, and I fucking plop in my own hands.
There you go.
There you go, you get a little bugger.
So on the day that we're recording...
On the day that we're recording this,
on the day that we're recording this,
there is no real news.
Tomorrow, which is going to be Thursday,
there will be like a state of play.
So there's probably going to be a bunch of new games and stuff
that are talking about.
I forgot those state of play.
Yeah, I'm not even going to be able to cover it on Sacred because they announced it today for tomorrow and I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.
So like, okay, cool, thanks.
I love it when they do that.
It's really, really epic and cool.
So maybe we'll probably talk about that next episode.
But I forgot to mention at the top of the show, although I guess we're only 60 minutes in, so it's not that big of a deal.
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Next, the upload schedule for main episodes will be impeded slightly.
we're going to, there's one episode
that's going to be missing
because Derek is going to be
officially moving.
He's going to be transporting all of his belongings.
And Derek edits the show.
So, so, and he has access
to all the back end stuff.
So, like, that's kind of like our,
he's kind of like our Achilles heel
in that.
He's very important.
So,
Friday's episode is not going to be recorded.
We're going to pick things up back on Monday.
There will still be extra ammo and stuff.
I'll probably even do a solo one just to,
make up for extra stuff.
But I do want to make that clear.
And there'll be a post on the Patreon
talking about all this too.
But I just want everybody to be aware of that
so they're not confused about like, where is everything?
We're in the motions of getting things set up
over here. I've made some purchases for the office already.
That should be arriving in the next two days or something.
I'm going to build the space up.
As we figure that process out, though,
give us your feedback.
Because we are going to be fucking, we're going to be fucking with stuff.
We're going to be changing stuff.
We're going to be fucking with the setup and all that nonsense.
So feel free to let us know.
Patreon.com slash the Snarktank.
All that jazz.
Snarktank.shop for merchandise.
Get yourself a nice little, a little gay shirt so you can get bullied.
Yeah.
I wonder how many people have worn that scumby.
bag shirt and just completely
bewildered people with it.
That's my face.
What fuck is that?
That's my fucking face.
I love that.
What is wrong with that guy?
I look like
I look like I have like severe special needs in that image,
bro.
The thing about that picture though,
is that like I love that picture because it doesn't
look like you.
Exactly.
That's why it's so fucking wild.
It looks like someone
attempting to draw me from memory
that heard about me.
Not everyone.
saw me.
He's heard about you.
All right.
Yeah, I guess I could do it.
Yeah, so that's good.
This guy a little loopy.
Oh, by the way, people, if you, if you could, because a lot of you have been tagging,
which is awesome, but also, like, say, on Twitter or Instagram, wherever,
send a, sinister shit, because I want to, at some point, I want to, I want to collage this shit.
I want to, I want to display you beautiful people in.
and kind of show everybody, you know, do some proper,
do some proper promos for our shop,
things that,
you know,
things that businesses are supposed to do that we,
we just,
we just don't do.
And,
yeah,
it would be,
it would be really cool.
And then you guys can see your ugly ass faces,
uh,
on some post or something.
But yeah.
We,
yeah,
we would like real fans with them.
Because I thought about just like,
I thought about like ordering like a bunch of them and then just like
modeling them.
It's like,
yeah.
I don't know,
It feels, I guess, I guess maybe that's cool.
But, like, uh, it feels, there's something got out of that feels very strange.
But, yeah, so, uh, do all that.
There was something, oh my God, God, damn, there was something I wanted to, oh, God damn it.
That reminded me of something.
Mm.
And then I lost it.
Oh, damn it, I hate it when this happens.
I feel like I'm going senile immediately.
I did that last night before I went to bed.
It's all gone.
I got, I, for completely forgot what I was going to do.
I was upset and I just went to bed.
because you just
you do feel like you're going crazy
you just
you just feel like you're like oh
I'm too young to be doing this.
It's really disheartening
it's
it's really disheartening
how flawed the brain is
and knowing that like we're just kind of stuck
within it
like I really don't like
you like you really
you have every single memory
that you've ever accumulated
like you have it like it's there
you just can't access it
whenever you want
there's a pool of them
and then you grab some for the day
and you take those with you
but usually grab the ones
you use the most
and the other ones you just leave in there
so like they're all in here
but you gotta
it's like catching fish
it's like you see probably not gonna catch
the right one sometimes
I really
fucking terrible man
yeah we gotta start taking
that Joe Rogan stuff
but like alpha something
or brain shit or
oh yeah we got to take
Alpha Brain. We got to make sure we got to make
Alpha Brain, we got to make
sure we take our brain supplements.
Yeah, that's what's missing.
So that way we don't
That's what's missing.
Ivermectin, we got to take some Ivermectin too.
I've been hearing really glowing reviews about that.
Yeah.
Yeah, it'll help with my worms too
because I do have worms. I have a worm issue.
I don't know if you guys, I don't know if you guys have a worm issue,
but like every time I wake up, if I wake up in the middle
of the night, I will sometimes catch
them like like wiggling around in my bed right now with ram trucks declaration of deals well
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Do you ever have this issue, Kingston?
No.
When I wake up, I'm covered in sweat, come and piss, so nothing ever, there's nothing near me.
It's just my sweat coming piss.
I buy a new bed every other day.
You don't have a worm problem?
Can you imagine?
Can you imagine?
So Derek was just looking for places.
Derek was just looking for places that he was talking.
He talked like one of the last episodes about like walking into an apartment and they just didn't even bother to hide the roach problem.
How would you feel if like you walked into an apartment, they were selling this to you and it had a worm problem?
And you could see the worms coming up from the floor, from like the laminate flooring or like the linoleum or the carpet or whatever.
They're just digging their way up through.
I was talking about like earthworm?
Yeah, just like normal.
I mean, they're not regular.
they're not regular if they're eating through carpet
to pop up in your house
but for all intents and purposes
yes uh i mean i think it's
it's not as bad as roaches
you can hear them coming up and they're bending the floorboards
you're like you hear like cracking
they're bending the floorboards
you're a little
like what is doing that
you got you got worms sorry man
I mean obviously you don't take the place
it's not to me it's not as disgusting
as roaches but you're still
not taking a worm and what if it's like
$14 a month?
What was like $14 a month?
But there's a lot of worms.
$14 a month, I take it because I would just use the rent that I was going to pay for a normal apartment to just have them, all the worms exterminated.
Well, as long as they can be exterminated.
What if they exterminate the worms?
What if they exterminate the worms?
And then it doubles the amount of worms.
Like you're like, I got it.
They got them.
And then you come back the next day and the worm problem has gotten the worst.
Yeah.
Like there, you can't even see your, your, you're full.
anymore. It's just, it's just, it's like, the floor just, it's like, the floor just like it's
just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it looks like a, it looks like a tongue,
looks like a fucking tongue, it's just a bunch of pink on the floor. You're like, hmm, um,
what was the last time, what was the last time earnestly that you saw a worm? Um, I saw, I saw,
I see worms every time it rains over here because we're like, right, there's like grass.
Yeah, sometime when I was last in Cali.
like I see worms.
Yeah, but like,
there are no worms over here.
But like up close,
like up close, I mean.
They can't make it over there.
You picked one up and you put it in your hand and like
stared at it or something.
What do you mean up close?
Yeah, exactly.
Like, so, like, like,
you got up like super close to it and just watched it worm around.
I never do that.
I've never,
I've never,
I've never been fascinated with, with what you've never touched a worm like that.
Because I'm not a fucking,
no, I'm not a beast.
That's why.
Worms are boring.
So crazy.
I don't believe that at all.
They're boring because we were adults and they're worms.
But like when you're a kid, you're fascinated by that stuff.
I remember like some kid.
I remember this kid in our school.
Was his name Dakota?
No, it wasn't Dakota.
It was somebody else.
Somebody, I was in like third grade, I think.
And I remember sitting in the cafeteria and he was like, look, look, a worm.
It's like, what?
He picked it up.
He dropped it on my fucking food.
I was like, you're an asshole.
But then also, like, I was transfixed by it.
I was like staring at it.
I was like, what the fuck is this?
Because I think I had ever seen like a, I think I'd ever seen or registered a worm before.
I just knew what they were from like cartoons and like fucking, I don't know, the game.
I definitely ate, I definitely eaten worms before.
When I was very small, I didn't know between regular rums and gummy worms.
Fuck crazy.
Oh, no.
You were that kid?
You were that kid?
For it, okay, first of all, for.
That's disgusting.
For insinuating that I'm insane for simply looking at,
a worm as somebody who has eaten them before is so
agree that is such an egregious
I realized that was a beast for doing it
and then I became a human again
no you don't have to realize you're a beast
you just know that intrinsically when you're
picking up a worm and about to eat it you know
before that that you're a beast well no when you're little
when you're little and I've had gummy worms
and I didn't know that there was a difference
I thought you could eat worms I
that's so great that's like that is that is no
it's just I didn't know there was a difference
I was little there's no way this
real. It's still dumb. Don't get me wrong
because other kids don't do it. It's a dumb thing.
If you're old enough... I'm not defending the
stupidness. If you're old enough to eat gummy worms
means you have teeth, right?
You have teeth to chew them because
you probably...
You'd probably possibly choke on a gummy worm.
Just trying to swallow them without
fucking chewing them. So I'm assuming you have teeth, which means you're
old enough to know better.
I was like four or five. Yeah. Yes, you should
know better. The worm moves
and the fucking gummy worm does not move.
I'm not defending.
I'm not defending.
I'm not defending the action.
I'm not the fucking.
It's not that you're defending it.
It's not that you're defending it.
It's not that you're defending it.
It's the indignancy that you showed what I just simply mentioned.
Oh no, of course.
Because we're critiquing you.
You're under the microscope.
Now I'm under the microscope.
I'm taking my hits.
But you're, you got to take yours.
You see?
There is no comparison between looking at a word and eating it.
You were like, wow.
And you were like letting it go through your hands.
You were like, well, I like, I like, I would have been like, I would have walked up to your table, took it off your hand and ate it.
Well, I didn't pick it up.
I was just like looking at it.
Oh, man.
Like, I remember, like, staring at, like, just, I just remember being a kid and, like, staring at bugs, too.
Just, like, I remember there was like this big ant hill, like outside of our school that I would like, I remember just seeing it.
Like, what the fuck?
That's a lot of ants.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
And I was, like, fascinated by it.
I hated them.
But exactly once.
Because you've seen it, once you've seen it, you're like, all right.
For me, I like caterpillars.
I like how they got to the top of things and like roared.
Yeah, we had to, we had to go to the top of flowers and like, eh.
And I'm like, why do they, why do they do that?
Why do they all do that?
Yeah, we had flusy.
I love that.
I like the fuzzy black ones.
The fuzzy black caterpillars are awesome.
Those are one bug that I would fuck with.
Like, because they are just, they look like they had a, they look like a bean.
I like caterpillars in general.
They're interesting looking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're like lumpy worm centipedes.
They're not as gross as either things that are components of.
It's like, oh, I respect you.
You become a butterfly.
Butterflies are kind of beautiful.
I respect.
Well, I don't care.
Well, I don't really care that it becomes a butterfly.
Like, that's like, I actually think butterflies are more disgusting than caterpillars are.
But.
Really?
Yeah, I mean, from at close up, yeah.
I think if you get close up to a caterpillar, it's cuter than a butterfly.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, that's true, but not.
I think they're just, like, I don't, I don't, like, who's like,
butterflies hardly stay still.
Usually people see them flying around.
So who the fuck was, like, actually observing them up close and shit?
But I feel like that's just a fucking, I mean, like a, I've definitely gone to like things.
That's like a sponge bob bit that, like made you think that.
No, it's not a sponge bob thing.
It totally is.
It probably is a, well, no, I just don't like flying.
You don't know.
You don't know anymore.
I don't know, really.
I don't know, to be honest.
But I know I don't like, I don't like flying insects.
Like, I don't, I really, I don't like them at all.
The modern.
It depends on the lines.
That is so beautiful.
No, they got, they got great wings.
There's so many beautiful butterflies, man.
I've seen, like, I went to the, I thought of Seattle, the, um, that, like, rainforest
cafe place.
Yeah.
And, like, I walked in there and fucked the butterfly.
I tried to.
They were there too quick.
They're too.
They're too quick.
They're too quick.
They're too.
Tiny and quick.
Yeah.
Like, there are comments
of the two.
We're like,
I'm just like,
jump around like a beast
and I'm like,
oh, I can't get any
in my dick is hard
and shit's great
against the floor.
You're, like,
one of my game mods
and you're just trying to fucking like it.
The idea,
the idea of Kixit
either at like the Bronx Zoo
or the fucking botanical garden
in the butterfly exhibit,
the big butterfly greenhouse,
naked with a fucking erection
to hopping around like a fucking king
Kong trying to fuck a butterfly
and frustratingly
I can't get them
I'm like doing my hands on the ground
and grabbing and climbing up
He's so upset
What the fuck is going on
You're slaving your hands
You're slamming your hands on it
You're jumping up and slamming your hands
At the ground but like they're delayed
It's like one hand clearly goes first
And then the other one
It's just a really like
I'm way too
I'm way too agile
I'm like at a point where like
I just passed the peak of human agility
So they're just like he's moving around
you're a little too quick and he's climbing too fast.
You hear over the intercom.
You hear like we've,
we've got Kingston and the butterfly exhibit
trying to affect the butterflies again, over?
Can we get some security detail?
Remember he is bulletproof.
There's no point.
No point he was in guns.
Try to calm him down with words and honey.
Bring him the chicken and rice.
Bring the chicken and rice.
See the chicken and rice.
Like that, your bonus starts to go down a little bit.
Chicken and rice?
Are there mixed vegetables?
Yes
Oh, I forgot to mix vegetables
And then you
I'm back
I'm back
There's the vegetables
It's just corn
It's just corn
It's just
It's just corn
You know that
You know that
You know that scene in
You know that scene in
fucking
Uh
Never mind
The uh
I think
I don't know man
That's that's a really upsetting
fucking
No but butterflies
are beautiful, man.
I feel like they're such pretty,
they're pretty little animals.
I love that.
That, that, uh,
that ribbon at the end of that.
Yeah,
no,
but butterflies are beautiful.
Butterflies are beautiful.
Like you just,
like you were just,
you just turned back into regular,
I'm back,
I gotta snap out of it.
You're Bruce now.
You're just like,
no,
I, I, I, I think,
I, I,
I, I think saying butterflies are beautiful is,
is,
is a little bit more like,
I don't know
Their wings are beautiful
I mean the more
Sorry
The more literal thing is
Yes butterflies have beautiful wings
That isn't more literal thing to say yes
But they are
They are
They are
Because of their wings
They're coating something
Because like if you look at all bugs
They're all creepy
Yeah
Like they're all creepy
I really don't like the fuzzy black caterpillars actually
I'm looking at
I'm looking at caterpillars on the internet right now
And like honestly the fuzzy black ones
kind of freak me out
They look like beards
I guess it's probably because they look like like almost like a black man's hair.
I think I think I like, I like like a beard or pubes or something.
Like it's just, I like it.
Yeah, they look like a, I don't like, I don't like that I can't quite tell.
Although to be fair, like, I don't know, what are those big ass?
Well, they're not always big, I guess, but like the really fuzzy moths.
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I've seen a moth
That shit creeps me out
That's like super fucking fuzzy and like
Oh really?
I don't like moths
Why would you why
They're literally they're cuter than butterflies
No they're nice
They eat my fucking clothes
The beauty of a butterfly
Comes from its
The beautiful patterns on their wings
Moss patterns are usually like very like
Draw colors
Like they're like dress like
Not as pretty colored
Like butterflies are like very bright colored wings
But they're so fucking majestic.
What?
Only moth are...
Are you seeing...
Do you know what a moth...
Do you not know what a moth looks like?
Moths are not really...
They're like...
I'm not too...
Wait, hold on.
Hold on.
Let me make sure...
I'm not talking about like the moths back
where where from, Kingston.
The ones that are just fucking bugs.
I'm talking about the ones that look like fucking...
The dragon from fucking never-ending story.
And you're like, what the...
How is this real?
How is this a real...
There's a handful of moss that look cool.
Yeah.
There's a handful of moss that look cool as shit.
Here you go.
I'll put one in the chat so you know what I'm talking about.
Here you go.
The fuzzy ones are weight.
There's like,
Mothra, I think.
Mothra,
I think.
Mothra.
No, no, I put one in the chat.
That looks so,
that looks,
that looks like,
like it's not like offensive looking,
but they're,
that doesn't look real.
That looks like a destiny thing.
You know what I mean?
It looks like a,
like a fucking thing you would see like in a fucking space video game.
Yeah.
100%.
But like,
there's not beautiful.
I think.
think, I really think if you see them in motion and you see them move, you'll change, because
they, they move like mammals.
It's really fucking weird.
The way they move is like the way that fucking cats and dogs move.
It's fucking strained.
Like, they'll, like, wipe their faces and stuff.
And it's like, yo, this is bizarre seeing a fucking tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny bug.
Act as way.
Like, don't fucking flies do that?
Like, disgusting.
They're, like, fucking shit.
Like, and it's like the most disgusting thing ever.
They're not fuzzy, so it's, like, gross.
I fly's, like, flies are the most, like, I know, but like, that's the thing.
It's like, it literally is the...
God, I hate flies, man.
You think flies are the most disgusting?
I just, well, it's just because of, because of what their nature, what they do.
They love, like, hey, like, if a fly lands on you, you probably have every fucking, like, bacteria on you and that little piece of a little speck.
I'm just like, oh, man, it's just like, oh, man, it's fucking, you know.
this thing.
Get away from me,
please.
Aren't they the cleanest animal, though?
Yeah,
that's,
yeah,
they're as clean as a dog's mouth.
So they say.
I heard some freak say that to be.
Some freak made that,
I remember hearing that once.
I remember it's like,
flies are actually the cleanest,
they're actually the cleanest animal
because they fucking,
they exist to clean.
And it's like,
that's not how that works at all.
It's like,
it's not,
that's not how anything works.
They're clean,
but they're not clean themselves.
That's not even how soap works.
like how are you cleaning
yeah exactly
please tell me
you should have
open hands slapped him in the mouth
you should have open palms
slapped him in the fucking mouth
yeah
grosses the insect
I don't think flies are the grossest insects
I think there's literally dung beetles
there's ones that look worse
than for sure
I think probably like
there's just abundance of them
whenever there's death around
they just they party
they fucking party
when something dies
man it's disgusting
it's like
you see a carcass and then
look at the flies they're all just having a great time
and I'm like dude you're dancing on death
it's gross
Yay
They're fucking and laying eggs
I just love dancing and poop
But yeah
You know
I think I just really hate insects
I really don't
I don't fuck with insects at all
I think there's some things that are beetle related
Like beetle related I like stuff
Beal look cool like a scarab
I used to be obsessed to
with scarabs.
Always be obsessed with like old Egyptian shit.
Like, and then I got a,
then when I was,
I got older and I'm like, wait a minute,
these guys aren't sub-Saharan.
Fuck, though, I don't care about these niggas anymore.
I don't care about these fucking North African,
these motherfuckers.
Yeah, I was like, when I was younger,
it was like, oh, you said they aren't or they are.
You said they aren't or they aren't.
Like, because Egypt is fucking, like,
that is, you know,
the, you know, not some of them are.
Some of them are.
Of course, some of them are.
But like, say, it would be, you know, but you know what I mean, like, say, if you know the North African population.
I don't think they were sub-saharan by that moment.
No, I don't like, it, it was a thing that, like, that was, that was what, that was what I was at least taught back in the day because I wasn't learning, like, actual history.
It was just, you know, biblical shit or whatever.
And they were just like, oh, that's cool.
And then I'm like, I saw a prince of Egypt and I'm like, hmm.
There are people
when they did these cool things, yeah.
Yeah, them niggas don't look like me.
What is this?
I don't like this.
Well, I mean, the Egyptians were obviously,
the Egyptians were obviously white people.
Yeah, there was just like, it was like John Smith.
They changed the names later to not be disrespectful.
I think it's so crazy that they went there.
Yeah, Cleopatra's actual original name was Cletus.
But they changed it.
The idea of Europeans going there, old Europeans going there, being like, this is a really impressive thing.
Aliens have done this.
They saw broad nose and they were like, destroy it.
I think that is crazy.
They're like, destroy it.
Destroy it all.
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The monkeys couldn't have done this. Destroy it.
These dark
It is wild
Like
A bet
See the thing about
Okay so here's here's the thing that I'm I'm experienced
So I have
I have friends
I have a friend
Whose friend
Just traveled across the country
Yeah
And happened to stop out at Mount Rushmore
By the way
They happened to stop at Mount Rushmore
They took a picture
It's fucking tiny man
It's tiny, dude.
And now I'm like, I'm really quite, like, how big is the Sphinx?
Really?
Is the Sphinx like 20 feet wide?
I have no fucking clue.
The Sphinx is particularly, those are particularly big.
The Sphinx are definitely fucking big.
Granted, you've seen, you've seen buildings bigger than them.
You're from New York.
Of course, of course, of course.
But, like, yeah, I mean, the pyramid is, but the pyramids are going to be fucked up.
the pyramid
I expect to be big
but also like it's not
I don't know
I think people really overstate the
like it just
it's blocks in a triangle
like I really don't
I don't
whatever like it's not really that impressive
it was hard to build
it would still not be easy
a great easy build now
it was hard to build
it's well the way
the way that they were built
I could build a pyramid
out of Popeye's boxes
Chris you Chris
you couldn't build a fire
with the utensils needed
to make a fire
somebody
If you were explaining to do it, you might not be able to do it.
You're not building a fucking sphinx, dude.
Because people now are like, it would not be very easy.
No, no, no, I've never said I could build it.
Even currently.
No, hold on, hold on.
I never said I could build a sphinx.
I'm not a sculptor.
I don't know how to make a face.
I could build the pyramids, easy.
Easy.
Give me 35, 45 minutes.
I'm going to build a pyramid.
No, it would take like a few days.
It would take probably like, I don't know, maybe like a week.
Yeah, I was going to give you six.
You'd fuck around and do it too.
I'd be so mad.
I'd be like, how the fuck?
Did you do this?
Change history.
Did you sleep?
Yeah, I slept eight hours every night.
It's like, how?
I overslept most days.
Yeah, man, I was late.
I was like, oh, man, let me get up here.
You see, the problem with,
nobody actually.
Chris realizes he has powers.
He's really good at building's fucking pyramids.
You see what happened?
Nobody actually ever attempted to recreate them.
They all of them were just talking shit.
Like, God, nobody can do this too hard.
No one actually just straight up just tried to do it.
And then Chris just dead it.
He's like, what are you talking about?
Yeah, I mean.
There's a, there's a grand conspiracy there where I feel like, I really feel like it's like, oh, no one can do it.
But if somebody were to come to the government and be like, yo, can I build a pyramid?
They'd be like, no, there's zoning laws.
You can't do that.
Or like, there's no property to do it.
You can't do it on somebody else's property.
Like, no one's allowed to do it.
So no one can.
Yeah, no one's, yeah, people can't do it
because no one's been allowed to.
There's no room.
And in fact, we did do it
because we have a fucking pyramid hotel, by the way,
which is way more impressive than the fucking pyramid, quite frankly.
Like, I mean, it's a fucking, it's a glass hotel.
I mean, like, come on.
Like, show me one glass Egyptian hotel.
You can't do it.
So.
Yeah, and they had all that sand too.
And by the way, mind freak himself, Chris Angel,
floated above it.
they had all this yeah they all the glass in the world of their disposal in
Egypt with all that fucking sand they could have easily
had a glass they had so much pre-glass and they didn't make anything fucking lose that
pictures those pictures by the way of the pyramids where like you could see that was
probably I think yeah like where you see like there's like a street with like a bunch of
with like a Denny's and it's like maybe like four blocks away from the pyramids and that's where
like the city starts, that, that might be one of the most disheartening images I think I've
ever seen. Like, as like, when I was a kid, becoming an adult, that was one of the, that was one of,
that was one of the, the, the Wizard of Oz, what is it, curtain peelback moments where I was like,
oh, man, that's so much less interesting than I initially thought it was.
Because it's just, it's like, oh, there's a Denny's across the street from the fucking pyramids.
It's insane.
But you feel betrayal.
Yeah.
They always take pictures from like one angle.
It's like you never see the other side of Mount Rushmore where you can see.
You never see the other side around Mount Rushmore where you can see their testicles.
You see their asses.
Yeah.
You see their ass cheeks and fucking.
See, that's amazing.
Abe Lincoln's hung like a fucking monster.
His dick looks more horse-like than human-like.
It's crazy.
He's like, what is that?
That would be so fucking amazing
if there really was another side of that mountain.
Oh, my God.
And if it was actually that,
I would want to see,
I wouldn't get a fuck about the heads.
I want to go see their fucking ass,
their fucking cocks of their asses.
That's way more funny.
That's way more interesting.
Why?
Somebody actually did.
Somebody worked on this.
Someone spent a lot of time to fucking scalp this shit.
That's way more impressive than some boring ass fucking heads.
Like, oh, a big fucking deal.
Someone worked.
They gave them the curve too.
Yeah.
Someone spent 30 years crafting all of that with a team of skilled engineers.
They went from their 30s into their 60s building that.
And they died before it was finished too.
They died before it was finished clearly.
Yeah, as most people did back then.
Man.
Yeah.
It's a world out there.
Shout out.
Shout out to.
Yeah.
I don't know what the fuck we're talking about.
Dead people.
Should we move on to...
Yeah, shout out to dead people.
Do you want to get into the questions?
Yeah, let's do it.
All right.
Let's get into...
We're digging in.
We're digging in.
Okay?
We've picked...
Up until now, we've picked all of the...
What I consider to be the best ones.
And now, we're going for the ones that we missed.
That we didn't get.
All right.
So here's...
Here's one.
one.
All right, here's one.
Damien Sawyers wrote in.
He says,
would you guys ever want to get Justin Wang on the show?
I think he'd be a great guess
and would fit perfectly in the roster of guests
you guys have had so far.
Yeah, for sure.
I've asked him before, but he's often busy.
Like, every time I talk to him,
he's like, yeah, I'm about to go on tour.
I'm going to do some random shit.
Yeah, he's a busy fella.
He's always doing some shit.
He's that.
He's research.
I think he hit me up like once when I was in New York.
But I couldn't.
My what?
Yeah, but for sure.
Yeah, we'll definitely.
That's that's not something that's like out of the positive.
It's really just a matter of like anybody that you can think of.
It's really a matter of like scheduling.
That's what that's.
I didn't know.
And Wang, what's the age he is.
If you know that, I didn't know how they choose age.
I thought he was way younger.
How old is he?
He looks young.
He's like a little older than Derek.
Yeah.
He's probably like either.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Something like that.
I had no clues
that he were near close to that age at all.
I was like, what?
It's because the shit he talks about
and shares is so fucking delinquent.
It is true.
Well, he has, to me,
it actually makes sense
when you think about it
because like the stuff that he usually talks about
is from his time on the internet
where he was just a little bit older
so he knew all about all of that
like rotten doc.
Like he knew way more about it
than like say even myself
or there's so much.
many things. I'm like, God, he has so much knowledge on some of the most fucked up things
imaginable. And yeah, that was that was that age of the internet, right? Because my brother was
close. He's close on my brother's age. And so my brother showed me some of that bullshit.
But, you know, anyway, I just want to say about getting people on the show, we start doing in a person.
Is it just from there on now, it would have to be if he was in the area, right?
Right? Or if we, how would we do getting somebody on the show?
I mean, I guess we could still do that because I've seen people do that before.
Remotly.
Yeah.
I mean, it would, I would like it to be, I would like it to be in person, but also like, if we really, if we had a guess that just simply couldn't do it.
Yeah.
Then, I mean, we could, we could always just do this again.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's not.
Oh, right.
It's not really that.
That crazy.
Like a one-off.
Yeah.
There are creators in LA, dude.
There are creators in LA all the fucking time, bro.
We're in LA.
It's fine.
I would generally prefer if we were doing a show to get people in person.
Like whenever, if somebody's, like, in town, I would, I would imagine that VidCon around that time would be a pretty busy, pretty busy time.
We'd have to stagger.
We'd have to stagger, like, things like that.
No, for sure.
Yeah, that would be good.
We'd do that.
Yeah.
It's not a big deal.
Absolutely.
We'll do that.
Yeah.
All right.
Stagger.
Let's see.
Uh,
uh,
but,
but,
but,
but,
but,
but,
ba,
ba,
ba,
ba,
okay,
here we go.
Uh,
uh,
Uh,
uh,
okay,
currently getting
some sloppy dome
from Golam,
Roden,
says,
hello,
you filthy fucks.
What is the
gayest hobby
a man can have?
I'm thinking
horse riding.
Let the discussion
begin.
P.S,
uh,
hearing Sweenean read out the credits
maybe want to rip my eyes
out my ass.
God bless.
You should do it.
Pretty good.
We should do it next time.
Don't talk about it.
Be about it.
So do you push them in first to get them closer to your ass?
Or do you just reach up in your ass and then grab your eyes?
No, no, no, no, no, don't worry, Derek, just do it.
Just do it.
Send us a video.
Send us a video.
We'll put it on here.
We'll make it the intro.
We'll make the intro.
That's nice.
Go ahead, but do it.
Don't be afraid.
Do it, man.
We got you.
You get your start on, bro.
This, this question actually.
made me think of something. This
question made me think of like, and it's funny
because it's a topic that I had thought up.
I put it in the text chat recently,
just as like an idea of like a springboard in case
we ran out of stuff to talk about. But the idea
of like what is the, like what is the
gayest straight thing and the
straightest gay thing?
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It's kind of like what this reminds me of.
It's bodybuilding.
It's bodybuilding.
Bodybuilding is extremely gay.
Right, right.
It's respect.
Like, it's nothing wrong with it.
but it is by nature very gay.
Especially, yeah, if you build a community
and then you start poaching with all these big
fucking sweaty men,
it looks very gay porn.
And then the reason,
and it's respectable even too
because everybody's doing it just to better themselves,
you know,
and everyone like in a very,
in a place that you would normally
be around people that are bodybuilding,
everyone is just simply there
to help everybody else do better.
There's no downside to it.
When you go to like a gym
and if you're like an overweight guy,
people are just trying to help you get your,
get your reps.
I'm like hey it'll teach you for them.
People get offended easily there sometimes
because people are like, you know,
it's a vanity thing to a degree.
Yes, it is very vain, yeah.
Like the body building stuff is very big
because it's not because a lot of that muscle
is pretty fucking useless.
It's not it's not operational muscle at all.
It's just like I'm huge.
I look good.
I look fantastic.
And hey man, you earned it.
So I don't think, I don't think.
I feel like you get your, you get your,
you know how there's like everybody has a moment
to gloat about something
if you put in the work
like it's to me it's like that you put in the work
so it's like somebody like those motherfuckers
that will oh I beat a
a Soulsborn game without getting hit
and it's like damn that's insane
like here's your flowers
or you have here's time for you to
like motherfucker that spends hours
and does thousands of reps
I'll give you I'll give you your flowers too
I'm like you did a lot to achieve that
so even if it's not my thing
I can still appreciate it
I mean, well, the bodybuilding thing is my thing.
Oh, for sure, dude.
Like, I'm just lazy.
I'm lazy as fuck.
So I do want to be jell-
every, like, every person that, like, really body builds.
They're, they're super kind, super sweet.
But it's a vanity thing.
It is vanity thing.
And then the vanity thing turns into a dysmorphia thing really fast,
unfortunately for them as well.
Because everyone I know that does that shit has very, very bad body dysmorphia.
That, like, really works out.
Like, when they go and they, like,
hit the grind.
having it, yeah, without having it in the first place, you can't really get to that level.
Yeah, so they get like really, really bad as well because like even our friend Joe, I've
spoke to him about it. Like I had like a real conversation about it with him because Joe works out
forever. And now he's not, he doesn't do it anymore for size. He does it for functionality.
He's about just having a stronger and healthier body now because he's like, because before
obviously when you're younger, you just want to be swole. So now he's like, I want to be as healthy
as I can be. And like, that's why he doesn't, he isn't as wide or as buffed up as anymore. And he's like,
dude, yeah, it gets bad sometimes
because I see my body compared to all people
but I don't even look real.
And it just fucks with my mind.
And then like after a set,
like after I deflate,
I look in the mirror and I feel crazy
and it's fucking wild.
It's like, that's gay.
It's very gay.
What are you talking about?
It's very gay.
It's very gay.
Just talking about gay men doing gay stuff.
Just being this bodybuilding.
Straight men doing gay things.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then what's the straightest gay thing?
You know what?
You know what's the straightest gay thing?
Oh, dancing, I think.
I think being like a pressional dancer is the
straightest gay thing.
Well,
the gay straight thing.
The gayest,
wait,
wait,
because you,
yeah,
that works.
But, um,
because I know ballerinas
that'll beat the fuck out of other people.
They would pick them up
and slam them on their fucking neck.
Sure.
And they're built like a little bit bigger than Chris.
But they were going to have breaks off of somebody.
And they would peer wet over you.
Literally.
Yeah.
I would say,
they are some strong niggas.
something that like you know like kind of answering that guy's question what just you know seems
the least masculine thing that you could do is probably knitting because that has always just
been historically like a grandma thing like kind of like just in like in like society like
as a trope so like if you see like a grown ass man like with a beard and shit sitting down
he's like crocheting or whatever the fuck you like it's just it comes off looking like
Look at this pussy.
But obviously, as we go forward in society, none of that shit matters.
Right?
It's like people are just doing whatever.
That's what wild men do.
And I feel like wild men are very masculine.
Wildman?
Well, knitting is just also just a useful skill.
Like, wow, like motherfuckers are like.
This is genuinely a useful skill.
Like beastmen, men that live on the fucking.
Oh, like, they live on the world, you know?
Like the motherfuckers are like, like, out there are motherfuckers, you know?
They got to like make shit.
been saying this.
Yeah.
Yeah, like off the, off the reservation
people, like, they knit and
like crochet, like they fucking
gather berries and
like mixed little tonics.
Yeah.
But they would fuck them most, they would
fuck people up. They would just kill them.
Yeah, I was always fun that
they would have their pet wolf dog like whistle two times
and it would trap them.
I always find that dynamic crazy
where it's like, oh, women belong
in the kitchen. Women are fucking cooking
all the time and shit, right? But then like,
You know, they're professional male chefs and then those survival dudes, they're all
cooking all their own food.
So then it's like, how does this, how does this come about when like men have always cooked?
You know, like you're the, the mess sergeants and the people like, oh, it's all men in the
kitchen in the army and shit.
It's not women cooking and shit.
So it was a weird thing how that even happened.
Can I make a comment about that?
Can I make a weird comment about that?
Like, I always thought it was weird, right?
Because it'd be like, oh, women, women are now.
more passive and all that stuff like that, right?
Yeah.
But then you look at like females, mammals particularly.
Often the ones that go out there and get the shit done are the females.
They're the ones that murder things and then bring it back.
The men are the ones that are stronger and big and like they're like fight off other dudes.
But the women's go slaughter and they're like, here's the food.
That's what I want.
He brings out.
That doesn't make sense.
Well, it's animal per animal, I guess.
Sure.
Are most predatory mammals, females hunt?
Yeah, but not primates, which is what we are.
I feel like they all get their food there.
I feel like primates, everybody gets the food.
I have no idea.
It isn't really like a male or woman thing for primates.
They just get food.
Kind of, well, I mean, you're not necessarily wrong, but it's also, I mean, it's very, like, there's a lot of documentation.
They also don't really hunt.
Well.
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They're not hunting animals really primates.
What are you talking about?
Well, they hunt each other.
Primates.
They'll kill each other.
That's true.
They'll fuck each other.
That monkey going wild than that other monkey.
The video of that monk, that chimp throwing another chimp,
is one of the craziest fucking videos.
Have you seen the video of the chimp slamming that other freaking monkey into the ground
had like sped up right over and over and over and over again?
I've not seen that now.
The skin came off of it.
Like its skin was coming off the monkey
because it slammed it into the floor so many times.
And I was like, whoa.
That's not real.
I swear.
I swear.
It's a real video.
It's insane.
You're inventing that.
Yeah, there's no such thing as a chimp.
I remember watching me like, I watched it and I laughed for a little bit and then it got
not funny anymore.
And I was like, this is not funny.
I don't want to look at this anymore.
And I turned it off.
There are no chumps.
Whatever, dude.
there are no
there are no
war in Bossing Say bro
there is no war
there's no war
I almost posted
what is it
because there was that video
or not the video
there's like some article
of um
of Joe Biden
saying there's no
genocide in Gaza
and I almost just replied
I was like quote tweeted
it with just that girl's face
from Avatar
which is like
there is no war in Bossing Say
because like
what a fucking insane
like it's so crazy
What a load of shit, dude
What a lot of fuck
It's fine, bro
He's sleeping at night, bro
Just real quick before we move on
I was last
He's sleeping at night because he can't stay awake
Okay
Go on, go on Derek
No, I was just just
Like with what you're saying
I was like
This is so wild
But then like him saying that
And then I've just been
Obsessively watching World War II stuff
And watching the propaganda
Around the war at that time
And I was like
Well, I'm like
Why am I even saying?
it's literally exactly the same.
It is,
like,
nothing has changed at all.
The propaganda,
like,
even when, like,
say,
I was just watching,
um,
the firestorm that happened in Germany,
I forget which city,
I can't remember off top my head right now,
but like,
a bunch of people,
the propaganda was saying,
oh,
200,000 people were killed,
but it was more like,
you know,
tens of thousands.
But the whole thing was,
the Americans were downplaying the fuck out of it.
The,
it was like,
it's this,
it's literally the same thing where there,
uh,
the Churchill was like,
ah,
fucking Churchill's like
That's all good
Nothing really happened
What's that video of
What's that video of George Lucas
Where he's like
It's like it's like history
It rhymes
It rhymes it's like history
It's like a poem
It's like lyrics
It's like
Does somebody bash a fucking chair
Over his head after he said that
Just put him out of
fucking commission
So they can actually
Yikes him
He used the force and he used the force to stop it.
Ow, stop hitting me with that chair.
Stop it.
Hey, dude.
Hey, dude.
The trilogy is pretty good, man.
Leave it alone.
The idea of some guy hitting him over the head with a fucking computer chair.
Like one of those with like the fucking.
Like one of the freaking like a like a gamer chair, like a heavy duty one.
And it just shatters.
Yeah.
And he just goes, he just goes,
Ow, no, no, no, it's one hit, it's one hit, but it breaks.
It breaks the entire chair.
And he falls down.
The chair, the chair, every part of the chair with the exception of like maybe the part that someone's holding on to hit it with combusts into dust, basically.
Like it's just, it's all, it might as well be fiberglass.
How fine the fragments of that chair have become.
and the fabric as well
also bursts
into dust
it's just like
ow
ow why have you hit me
I don't
I'm a billion
I'm a billion
that hurts
slightly
slightly annoyed
slightly annoyed
he's like
what the fuck
he's fine
bro
there's no way
he should be awake
he doesn't even get up to do
anything back. He just looks back at him.
He was like, what is your fucking deal, man?
And then he runs, he runs and ties
the person who hit him. He ties
the person who hit him up to his car and drives
real fast and drags him down the street.
And he's like, it's just like what happened
Mussolini. It's like, it's like history. It rhymes.
It's like history. He's going
at least 175
miles per hour. He's driving
so fast and crazy.
He's redlining. He's so redlining.
George Lucas.
George Lucas running around recreating famous historical assassinations and atrocities, just so he can say to himself as he's committing it.
It's like, it's like history.
It rhymes.
It's like it's like a song or a poem that rhymes.
He's dragging some guy down the street like Mussolini bouncing him off of mailboxes and fucking pine trees and shit.
It's fucking crazy.
Just bumping him, dumping him, boinking him in the head.
He hits a mailbox
You see a splatter
And he gets pulled off
Like a cartoon
He gets like winchew wiped off
And then drag some more
That'll teach you to disrespect
I'll teach you to disrespect me
Yeah
He's
The world around him zooming
And he's just
The little
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
yeah
I love
I love George
I love this version of it
I love this
I love this
I like
that's a good
that's a good character
it's a great person
is he a sociopath
or is he just kind of
really
he's just really obsessed
with patterns
and creating them
he runs into like
an American nuclear facility
and just like
it just like
it's like
slaps his hands all over the keyboard
it's like
Chernobyl it rhymes
it's like
get out of here
George
Stop! Stop, George!
He presses the best.
He presses everything.
He presses everything he shouldn't.
He presses, like, like he knows.
He, you guys, you guys remember him to the smudgebob?
He remembered him to the smudge by when he came through the wall.
He was like, er.
I was just thinking that.
I was just fucking thinking of that.
The idea of that.
all the buttons
that's not walking no
that's not walking that's moving
yourself forward to be able
to do because the idea is like his feet
you got to look at his feet right
he's looking at his feet
right stationary where they are
so that means that he
just
willed himself forward
through it
Mr. Lucas
stop please
wait wait wait wait
wait wait wait wait
wait I have to make
I have to make it rhyme.
It doesn't rhyme yet.
It doesn't rhyme yet.
What do you mean by rhyme?
We're going to die.
You're going to die.
You're going to die.
Yeah.
You're already dead.
You don't know this yet, but you're already dead.
Actually, as I'm hitting these buttons, you're dead.
You've taken too much radiation.
You're already dying.
Look at that.
You're already dying.
Oh, man.
You better not have sex.
You give her cancer.
You already die.
In two weeks, your skin will fall off.
Bye.
He leaves.
By.
By.
During him in handpropic, there was his moment, right?
He's casually leased, bye.
Throw it.
The idea of...
So during World War II, they were, like, doing tests with, like, very radioactive
metals, right?
Yeah.
And it's literally, while they're doing the test, right, there's this little,
obviously like a very dense lead ball
over it to prevent the radiation from leaking out.
One woman is a woman
actually which is crazy. She mistakenly
moved the thing a little too much for
a moment and in two weeks later everybody
died. Yeah, killed everybody. And it was funny
because when she did it, yeah, when she
did it, the guy that was a professor looked at her
he just like,
like you
dumb, that's all the most
just the most like,
of course you did it.
The idea that you would be in that
situation where somebody did something like that, like
They unleash, like, they press the button and, like, a valve opens that, like, very clearly unleashes, like, strontium-9 into the room.
And, like, you're dead in that moment and you know it.
And all you can really do is just glance over at the person who did it, like, because what, like, what are you going to do?
What else?
That is it.
Like, that's, there's all.
It's not worth, it's not worth getting mad at them.
Just go make your peace.
That's it.
It's like, whatever, man.
Well, you, you would want to be mad.
I got things to put into fear.
Since you already know you're dead.
Like you cycle through every step in an instant because you're just like, I would absolutely beat that person up.
I would want to, absolutely, especially if it was a woman, I would probably be like, I'll be back.
Well, why wouldn't you?
I'll be back.
Well, here's my question is like, why wouldn't you knowing that like you're not going to get punished for it?
You're going to die in two weeks.
Like what are they going to do?
You put you in jail?
I wouldn't because it's just, it's no point.
At that moment, there's just no point.
You're gonna die.
Go get your shit in order.
Like, that's what I would do.
Instead of being mad at that, I'd be like, look,
just call my wife.
Call my wife.
Let me talk to her.
Like, hey, honey.
What's going on?
Hey, honey.
George Lucas,
George Lucas bursted through the wall.
Hit all of the keys on the panel.
And I will, I'm going to die in two weeks.
I can't see you.
I'm irradiated to my core
He said make it rhyme a lot
I don't know what he meant by that
He's probably gonna do more things
I need you to get the police
I saw him walk through metal
Or move through metal till it bursted
So you know
Probably worry about that
Some really strong cages
Because he's gonna keep going
So yeah
Love you sweetheart
Tell the kid he's not mine
Goodnight
He's like a wet
Like George Lucas is like a weather event
To these people
Like you can like forecast him
Like it's just like well
We've got like a 30% chance of George Lucas
Popping into town trying to make things rhyme
So stay indoors
Lock your windows
You know you're not going to want to be outside after dark
But that's for sure
And
Lock your windows
Don't play anything
Play everything Star Wars involved
You have to keep Star Wars playing the whole night
Or else he will come in your house
And he'll
He'll
What's up
Can I ask you a question
What's that?
Would you
Would you turn yourself over to
Bobbidi's magic
If you could be as strong as
As Masha Vegeta as you are now
Like my scale?
Like you,
like you as you are currently scales to where
Scared where Vegeta ended up after right?
Yeah, yeah
Ooh, would you?
I don't know. Would you guys?
I just don't know.
No, I wouldn't want to be a servant to him.
I wouldn't want to be a servant to him.
I wouldn't want to be mind controlled, but I love the idea of, like, celebrities.
I don't know what I'd be able to break free?
Bobbid and Kingston.
Well, that's, well, was it, was it you that, was it on, oh, it might not have even been on the show that we were talking about, like, Majin Seal.
Yes, you were.
Did I ever mention this year?
I wasn't here. I was not here for that.
So, do you know, so I don't think it was on the show.
I don't think it was on the show.
I think it was in person when we were hanging out.
But, like, the idea.
of like, you know Seal, right, Kiss
from a Rose. Of course. Like, if he
turned himself over to
Bobbidi's magic and he became Majin
Seal, and he was just
somebody that we had to, he just had, we just had to deal with
him as like a force of
nature. Like, it's like, oh, Majun Seals
been sided on the coast of fucking Barbados.
We're going to have to, you know,
causing problems, keep our eyes. Keep our
people, keep our eyes open.
Are we saying this is
so, so,
So Seal has always had like
maniacal like tendencies and then he finally just got
his opportunity to terrorize the world. Is that what we're saying?
Was his wife,
Brooke Shields?
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to lender approval. Right? It was Brooke Shields,
right? That was his wife. I have no idea.
I have no idea. I think she's
a sea lion.
She was a model.
She was a model.
This is my wife's
This is my wife, sea lion.
It's the seal and sea lion.
What the fuck?
That is so dumb.
But, um,
that's stupid on a level that I can't even like, I almost can't even find.
I'm like,
I'm like searching.
I don't.
All right.
So he's, he's, he's, baby.
Yeah.
So he's, so he's a dark, he has dark tendencies.
he's,
Majin's,
like,
if it's,
okay,
so let's say it doesn't scale
to Vigita's level,
but like he scales in a way
that,
like,
from saying,
from default Vita
to Maja Vigita
is like the scale
of like what a normal person
would be to like
that version of a normal person.
So theoretically,
like you'd be able to probably pick up a car.
You know,
I don't know if you'd be able to fly necessarily,
but you'd be able to jump like probably damn near.
People can't fly.
So we wouldn't be able to be right with that.
But you would also,
you'd be that money more.
I'm going to look up the multiplier for a...
Some fucking autistic kid probably fucking did this.
So he was like, the multiplier between margin and Vida, right on the Dita,
is approximately $7.40 million.
Yeah.
So he would...
So he can jump maybe like...
He can jump about, like, I would say like maybe like 11 feet.
You know, like that's how high he can jump.
If he's like really pushing it.
Wow.
Like he's really giving it as all.
So he's, he's a content.
He's strong.
So you'd be...
You get about, well, think of it like this, right?
Spapovitch and Yamu, right?
The ones that fought, um,
Vidal, I gotta fought Vidal and beat the living fuck out of her.
He had his neck broken, like, snapped the wrong way,
and he just put it back.
He was a regular fighter before, like, he was less than Hercule,
and he came back and he was literally a monster.
Like, could fly.
Okay.
He could fly afterwards and shit, actually.
Yeah, but that was.
So you might be able to fly.
But that's,
scared. See, a flying seal is like no joke.
See, a flying, a flying
Majin seal is nothing to joke about.
That's nothing to scoff at.
That is, um, that's something that we're going to have to
really contend with. Probably no energy blasts,
because let's just keep it realistic.
Um,
um, but he's flying around.
He's flying around probably,
probably with like a machine gun, uh,
or something or some, some,
instrument of, uh, instrument of death and
destruction. Um,
What if he throws seals at people?
I think you become pretty...
You become pretty strong.
He collects...
He flies to the fucking ocean
and picks seals up and beats people up with him
and that's his calling card.
That's like his joker fucking calling card.
Is that like, how do you know, oh, man,
look at all this death and destruction,
but there's like a random seal in the middle
beaten, like, damn near to death.
And it's like, oh, man, Majun seal's been here.
We're going to have to call President
Joe Biden and then Joe Biden
comes on the phone he's like what's going on
he's like President Joe Biden we've got a Majin
Seal attack on the Eastern Seaboard
it's like I don't know I don't know what that is
who's
I met Majan's I remember him from when I was
a young boy
when I played with all the seals
he's like no Joe it's not this is not
we're not talking about the animal there is an animal
related to it but it's not the he's not the
core problem
the core problem is not the animal
It's the fact that the singer seal,
famous for Kiss from a Rose,
is now imbued
with magical powers.
Under control of the winter bobby.
They know,
they know who Bobbitt is.
Whatever, man.
Oh, Bobbity.
Bobbity.
Oh, right.
What's going on?
Right, Bobby.
Yeah, that's right.
Oh, Bobby.
Yeah, that guy doesn't read the boo, right?
Baby-de-Bobbidi-Boo.
Right?
Yeah, I remember that.
But Tucker, Tucker, Tucker.
Tucker Carlson goes on
his show he's like the government doesn't want us
turning our power over to Bobbidi
Why? Why is the government so afraid
of letting us, why is the government so afraid of letting
us surrender ourselves to Bobbidi's magic?
Bobby never heard anybody.
He's the staring at the camera for way too long.
It's your own free will.
He's not forcing you to do anything.
He tears his face off and it's Bobbity. It's Bobbity in disguise
as Tucker Carlson.
Bobby's been talking about it.
Carlson this whole time?
This whole time.
That would be a mind fuck.
That'd be a mind rape.
I'd be like, what?
Why is he bobbity?
That's what I would just ask.
I would ask it like that.
Why is he bobbity?
What if every time you met a Trump supporter?
Yeah.
You didn't realize it, right?
But like, let's say you have like an altercation where they fall.
They fall down and then they scuff themselves.
They go like, ah, and then they wipe their forehead.
And then an M is on their forehead.
and then they run away real quickly
that
it would make some sense
dude I don't know man this kind of level of power
I might I might do the whole
embobody thing
you know well here's the thing
if if if they had to end the entire time
if they had to end the entire time right like
and say they were the ones that stormed the capital
it would actually be like well that power ain't that good
the fuck like that that's actually not that good
yeah
Because that shit
They're broken
They're strong
They work in unison
They all right
Yeah
Like a black security guard
Kept them back
Yeah
They some
Some shit got shot in the neck
And then that was
That was over
Like that's not good
Like they should be able to catch a bullet
Or something
Hey whatever
Maybe
I don't know man
Because you'd be
Think of how
I'm this thinking
Because Vigita's not a good scale
Because Vidita's just strong
To begin with right
It's hard to really
understand how strong
Vegeta got
but we know
that Spapovic
and Yamo got
fucking wildly
stronger
from that shit
that is the scale
we have at least
those motherfuckers
got really strong
whatever
whatever we got
look
we could be debating
the ethics
and the power
scaling of
Mashi and seal
till the cows
come home
yeah
but uh
the ethics
what does that phrase
even mean
what does that
what does that mean
the cows come
whatever
loves to spooge rodin
and your face
from the sea
you became
that's all
that's how he communicates
is that he sings
that song with different lyrics
baby
I'm gonna kill you in your sleep
and fuck your son's ass
ooh
fill a full of cream corn
and my dick's gone
no no no we can't mix
we can't mix these things
we can't be mixed
these things
loves to Spooge
loves to Spooge
wrote in he says
hello Jojo's bizarre
Badland Chugs and Brandaniel.
Here's a hypothetical.
You're in line at a bar, and the bouncer says,
welcome to the spermy spatoon.
How gay are you?
How do you respond?
I'm like, I'm so gay, and I'd come in his face while I'm right at a finish.
I'm so gay and had a blast.
I'm so gay.
I had a bowl of cum for breakfast.
No, no, I mean, no jerk.
It would be, I'm so.
so gay and then come.
He's just coming in his mouth.
I'm so gay, a bowl of sperm for breath.
I'm going. Without any semen.
Whoa, you go in, buddy. That's crazy.
How did you even extract the semen from the little wiggling?
He's just a little wiggling.
There's no semen in it whatsoever.
Wiggles in a bowl of wiggles.
Whoa, that's pretty crazy.
I thought you were going to say still.
I thought you were just going to say
I had a bowl of
I had a bowl of
cum for breakfast
without any milk
I'm just like what the fuck
why would you add milk to come in the person like
why is milk
the changer
you're already drinking cum
why even like why even
bothered without any milk
so what he's saying
is that
he normally has
cum and milk
but he's like you know
Shut the fuck up.
Do not save it.
You take the milk away.
This is some tough shit right here.
Like, it's not even masking the flavor.
It's not even masking.
This is the real shit.
Yeah.
It's almost like a, it's almost like a mixed, it's almost like a mixed drink kind of.
Like, it's like, wow, you take shots and you don't, you don't have a, you don't have, you don't have, you don't mix a gum with a, you don't put, you don't have, you don't have, you don't mix a cup with a mixer.
You don't chase your cum?
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
He just out of his mind.
He doesn't, he just straight,
the idea of like somebody being like,
hey, you go to a bar and like, hey, what can I get you?
Let me get some cum.
He just puts the cup by his dick,
bust in the fucking shot glass.
He hands into you.
He slides it down to you.
Little spills on the counter.
And a guy's like, awesome.
Awesome.
Wow.
No, it's glippery, too, so like it's a moat.
It's just, it's a, it's a boh.
He's licking it inside of it.
Every little bit out.
Wow, that guy's really gay.
Whoa, this guy's super gay.
Oh, man.
All right.
50 shades of gay, rodent.
God, that's a...
50 shades of gay rodent.
This is one that...
This is another one that I chose not to use for the previous episodes,
but we'll use it here since we're at the end of the month.
We're picking up all the stragglers.
He says, or she says or they say,
Hey, Seinfeld, Kramer, and George.
That's it.
That's a nice.
That is well worth $5.
That is...
That totally caught me off guard.
Oh, my God.
What's the question?
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and amount subject to lender approval that's good we do have a big one that i think is better for
we do have a big one that's better for an extra ammo though because it is it is it is responding to uh
it's a follow up on like something that we did in the advice in the advice column which is uh these
It's a series of episodes that we have over at Patreon.
Patreon.com slash the Star Tank,
exclusive episodes over there.
It's pretty big, it's good, but I feel like we should just read that next time we do it.
So I'm going to, I'll save this one in a Google Doc.
And then we'll get to that one.
Let's see.
What are the ones we have?
Okay.
Randipe Kang wrote and he says, all right, guys, Blackman's Justice League members and Blackman's Justice League contingency.
Oh, right, black men.
Yeah.
She, black man.
So the members, so is it just all, like, racist stereotypes?
Like, like, China Man is one of his, uh, his, is faithful, like, like China Man is.
Like, Chinaman is too, no, no, do, do, do, do.
Oh, man.
Hey, so that's one of them.
God damn.
He has a slut.
The black guy is this name the N-word.
The black guy is just the N-word.
No.
That is his name.
he's already black man
no his name is the N word
I find there's black man and then there's the N word
but he's like he's like he's like
he's like he's like the venom
yeah
he's like the venom to his Spider-Man
is just like I'm black man
and he's just a mensch
he's like a menstrual show character
that's crazy
that's black man what you doing
that's already that's
No, because no, no, no, black man would just be a black man.
No, we are just a regular black guy?
Were you, you weren't paying attention?
Oh, no, we did.
I forgot.
I forgot.
Wait, oh, my God.
How did black man look?
He looked.
How did black man look?
Like a menstrual.
Really?
Yes.
We made a whole character that was.
So is.
Kingsen, Kingston, Kingston.
Let me just a regular guy.
He's just a regular black person.
Let me, let me refresh your memory here.
I can't believe.
I don't remember.
I'm sorry.
So the whole thing with Black Man was that instead of Batman being afraid of bats.
Oh my God.
Yes, I get it.
Okay, I remember, yes.
It was Batman instead of being afraid, instead of being afraid of bats, he was afraid of black people.
And he went around disrespectfully impersonating black people.
Yeah, because he thought it would strike fear into the hearts of everybody else.
Like, it struck fear into him when everybody else is just kind of like, that guy is just not.
That guy's scary because he's clearly doing something.
insane, not because he's a black guy.
What the fuck is he doing, dressing up like this?
But, and so he thinks it's working, and so he doesn't drop the, he doesn't drop the bit.
What would, what would Superman in this world look like?
Um, I think he'd just be a fucking Nazi, and he have a freaking, what to call it?
He would be probably a Nazi, yeah, I think so.
Captain Auschwitz.
Yeah, something like just racist shit.
No, no, no.
That's not, that's, that's awful.
I think, like, more represented of not the atrocity, but like the, what, like, you know, some Aryan shit or something stupid like that that has to do with their...
Like the denier?
The denier.
All right, let's move on.
Nothing happened here in the 40s and 50s.
Not one thing.
So we got China Man, I want the invisible sluts.
Let's move on.
Let's get...
What?
Are you fucking...
Are you trying?
Try to derivisible slut.
Invisible slut is one.
Aquaman is come man, come man or seaman man, I don't know.
What should be?
Seaman man, I don't know.
I like the idea of Flash being the speedy spook.
Does that work?
No.
We already have a, we have a black.
It's, it's, it's, all right?
There's only one black guy?
Because I would assume it be, because I'd assume it'd be inverse, right?
Maybe be inverse, right?
Whether it be, is there only one black character?
Well, there could be a black
Black.
Yeah.
He's, he's
pretty,
he's,
so then me making him
the speedy,
funny.
This is why we got to,
or would Flash be,
would Flash be slow-mo?
Now,
he would just be like a,
he would,
Flash would literally be a flasher.
He would,
he would run around a trench coat.
Oh, he didn't really quickly.
Yeah, he would,
so he would,
so he would,
I did it,
I did it technically,
but you didn't see.
Flasher.
Okay, we like that,
Flacher.
Um,
We need like a fat one.
Like someone who's just like a fat and retarded.
Like should it just be fat.
Rottondo?
Oh, I got, I got a good idea.
He'll be, he'll be, uh, uh, rotundo.
And rotundo will, uh, he'll, he'll, uh, he'll, uh, he's, his superpower is that he's so fat.
You're a slut.
Yeah.
He's so fat that nobody loves him.
That's his power.
That's his power.
That is so fucking crazy.
All right.
You're so fat.
No one loves him at all.
So far.
Everybody hates him.
We're just going to do the superhero arc.
So far there's black man, China man, invisible slut, rotundo,
flasher, and possibly cum man.
I don't know about that one.
But we got it's pretty good.
Yeah, see man.
Or sergeant's flude.
I like sergeant's blude as well.
Oh, see man.
Yeah, seaman.
Sergeant's
He sounds like
He sounds like a fucking
It's a funny
That's a funny name
Right but that sounds like
He even sounds like a royalty free character
Within the context of this fictional universe
Like the idea that you would even have like a sergeant anything
As a part of a Justice League is so insane
Okay he's basically
Captain Cole
avoid copyright. He's basically Captain Cole.
He'll be fucking Sergeant Spluge.
So that's a, there you go.
He just shoots cum at people.
He has a cum ray.
Great. Amazing.
Yeah.
No, the idea is that he'd, he shoots you in a ray, right?
You'd think it's just snow?
And he'd be like, this is frozen cum.
This is slushy cum.
I'm saving this for later.
Loves the Spooge, Rodin, and.
Did he get in your mouth?
Loves the Spooge rodent again.
He also has another one.
Dear ghetto hooligans and Mr. Whiteman.
Sir, are there any 90s or early 2000s commercials that live rent free in your head to this day?
I got one, but.
I have one from like the late.
I don't know.
It'll bother you guys.
I have one from the late 90s that was like a, it was like a commercial for like a casino called Foxwoods.
And I don't remember, I don't know.
I don't know where exactly it is.
I think it's either Atlantic City or like Connecticut or.
If I'm not mistaken, it's in Connecticut.
Yeah.
Or in Atlantic City.
For some reason, I don't know if this was airing on Cartoon Network or what, but like I saw
this commercial a lot where it was just like this like Frank Sinatra style kind of like lounge
swing song.
Or it's just like take a chance.
Make it happen.
Pop the dough.
Finger snapping.
Spin the wheel.
Round and round we go.
And it was like it was like it's for some reason.
It was like the weirdest.
It's like.
a very catchy fucking song
for this casino that I've never once
wanted to go to or ever been to or ever
been curious about but like that
song lives it's very East Coast
by the way there's like no shot that
this was advertised anywhere else
every New Yorker knows that fucking
commercial it's great
like that's I know all the lyrics of that song
still to this day and it's
I don't I haven't heard it in years
same bro
but yeah it was
that was hammered into me for sure
So there's a commercial like put it in and sip, sip, sip, sip, sip, sip,
pull it out and munch, munch, munch, munch, all together now.
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That's the cereal straws.
That's the serial straws commercial with the dead kid in it.
Yes.
So for anybody curious.
Okay.
All right.
So hold on.
There's a video.
I don't remember if I put it on Twitter.
I know it's like I see it every now and again pop up where we're in the living room watching that commercial.
and we're arguing about whether or not that kid is dead.
And it's a serial straws commercial with the actor Cameron Boyce when he was younger.
And Cameron Boyce did die.
He did pass away.
So like we were watching, I can't remember what the fuck.
It was like during the pandemic, we were watching like old, like long compilations of old commercials just for like nostalgia and just to laugh at it.
And that commercial came up and Kingston was like, that kid's dead.
We were arguing about it.
It was like, that kid was like, why would you assume that kid is dead?
Like it's an insane assumption
It's like I know he's dead
I know I know
But you were right
You're totally right he's dead
I know I felt it
Yeah
For me it's also the credit
What you call it the college
Connected for free
Education Action
Commercial
I'll never forget that song
In my life
I can't
There's two
There's two major things
That so there was a crossfire
There's a toy called Crossfire
And it was the most
dramatic commercial
lever. It was like you would shoot these little steel balls like they're like uh they're they're like
a bebees and you would shoot them at like this thing you had to like move them it was maneuver it was
like I don't know like a bay blade almost type of thing but not like ripping some shit or something
it's like shooting things that things and they're clashing and the commercial is so fucking
dramatic or like it looks like some like tournament pit thing and the guy singing like crossfire you'll
it got up in the
and then like he like does some crazy like 80 scream at the end
cross fire
and you're like this is the craziest thing ever
and you play it and it's the most boring fucking shit ever
it's the most boring fucking shit
I know that commercial
I know that commercial because I've seen videos about it
but I never watched
I never watched that
I've never saw that commercial on TV but like that
I've because I think the angry video game nerd
did like a video about it or something like that
it was definitely like one of those people
but that's those those commercials are insane yeah i think there's a
the only other one that comes to mind of those free credit report the free credit report
com commercials those those ones are really like when they had that band doing the jingles
for them f r e that's supposed free credit report dot com baby so the ad on my tv wanted to wait
one of my time i'm saying back around with fat yeah i'm i forgot what the other lyric is
my legs are sticking to the vinyl and my possees getting laughed
at.
F, R-R-E, that spells for you.
See, that's the thing
It's like, why do I know?
Like, I haven't heard these songs
in fucking forever.
But like,
I mean, it works.
I remember them.
It did.
It totally did.
Back in that,
we don't have jingles anymore,
that's why.
Yeah.
That was,
that was the resurgence of the jingle era.
That was the most of the ones like,
they say a man should always dress for the job he wants.
So why am I dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant?
It's all because some hacker stole my identity.
now I'm in here every evening
serving chowder and iced tea
should have gone to free credit
report dot dot
I remember that I remember that now
It's insane
There's a there's exactly what I'm talking about
By the way earlier with the fucking memories
Just sitting in your brain
Were you gonna say, Derek?
Yeah
There was a
There's a show called
Bonanza
Like a Western
And I used to watch it
Yeah my grandma loved it
Yeah I used to watch the shit out of it
And Taco Bell
They did a
It was a grilled steak
Taco or something
The commercial
They were promoting it
And it was just
It was to the jingle of the
Of the intro
And I was like
So I run in a room
Because I don't have my horse
Do ride there
You know
Like there's like
Something grilled steak
A Taco Bell
It was so fucking
Like catchy and cool
And I was like
Yeah
They don't
Because they don't have to
Do shit like this anymore
Right
They don't have to
It's all lazy as fuck
But
that was cool
and just some little message
on Instagram
they show you something
pretty much
like three four times
they're like oh I guess I want that now
did you guys ever see survival
like insurance
survival insurance commercials
because like it was there was one
that was the biggest bullshit
ever because this guy
his car breaks down
and then as hot as babe
comes rolling up
she's like hey you need a ride
it's like yeah
and then he goes
are you insured?
She's like, yeah.
He's like, by survival?
She's like, no.
And then he goes,
I can't take that ride.
And then she fucks off.
And I'm like,
in what fucking universe?
Like, oh, I'm only going to get in a car
that's insured by survival,
some bullshit.
She probably has fucking state farms.
She probably has top of the,
you know,
tier insurance.
Better.
And she's like a better insurance.
A hot boobied bitch,
probably going to get slammed,
you know,
and then he's just like,
nah, dude.
I need that fucking $20
$15 month insurance.
Yeah.
Nah, you fucking, I want $15 month insurance.
Get the fuck out of here.
It's ridiculous.
It was a great commercial.
But those are the ones, those are the ones that stick out to it.
I'm sure like there's a lot more than I remember.
Like, because I've definitely seen commercials like recently, like they pop up on Twitter
sometimes or I'm like, oh yeah, that's right.
So I remember a lot of them.
But yeah, those are the ones that come to mind.
Demons Rage Road.
And he says, okay, so this is another one that I skipped.
Let me tell you if this is.
Let me get your opinion on this one.
It was worth skipping on.
Demons rage running.
He says, yes, every time you all talk about it, I go skip, skip, skip, skip, skip.
I mean.
Thanks for the $5.
Facts.
I mean, facts.
You need you, you, you, whatever you skip, that's what the skip button's for, bitch.
Thank you.
Exactly.
Congratulations.
Erm, ooh, eh, um, brood.
And he says, I've been real dumb.
What the hell do I do?
Uh, be less dumb.
Yeah, you go to school, you dumb, bitch.
What do you mean?
Go to fucking school.
Get to education.
Pass some SATs or whatever the hell they do now.
I don't even know what they do now.
Like, uh, they,
it's always different.
It doesn't matter to me.
It's been to school in forever.
Okay, yeah.
Well, do that shit.
Yeah.
And then, and then, if you're still dumb, just,
yeah, well, yeah.
You should just go to like, do gay stuff.
Just lean into it.
Just lean into it to experiment with gay people.
experiment with gay people in college
are you telling him to experiment on gay people go
are you telling him to experiment on gay people
yeah yeah yeah
do medical experiments
like gay people
Billy Moll wrote in
speaking of
speaking of medical
Billy Mode wrote in
okay so these are ones from the last like two days
like these are the final ones
like the last ones for the month basically
Billy Moll
wrote in he says hello boys first time patreon member i work as a tech in a pharmacy and have an interesting
story a boomer-aged man came in and requested a refill on his insulin i looked at his profile
and he still had two months worth at home so i informed him that he had to come back in two months for a
refill he threw a fit stating that he was out then i told him to go home and double check he stormed out
but not before saying you better put in a good word for me at the nearest cemetery he called back
an hour later and apologized as he accidentally placed some of his insulin pens next to the butter in his
fridge. Do you have any story, do any of you have a story about ridiculous customers or clients at
work? Thank you. Next to the butter. So like in that little, because usually the- Usually the
fridge has that little section for the butter, right? Like the one little part, you open it up and
then the top to the right, there's the section you put the butter in. So he like put his pins in there.
He's just like, yeah, this is good. I'll remember this because I used to the butter. I used to
every day.
It is.
Forgot.
Yeah.
His mind is not what it used to be.
That's true.
That's sad.
That's actually kind of sad.
It's a little sad.
Oh, man.
I used to work at Albertsons.
I used to work at a really shitty...
Well, I'm sure a lot of you probably are aware of Albertsons.
And so I had a extremely perverted boss who gave all the women raises and not the men because
he was trying to like butter them up.
and like fuck him and stuff, but he was like disgusting,
as though it didn't work.
And we had a lot of insane people there.
Like, there was this, I'll, this one lady,
she was so upset that she told, she, I could,
this still baffles me to this day because she was like,
I bagged her stuff and, um, I just put like, okay,
I put her hot dogs on the bottom of one of the bags and then I put the marshmallows on top
because, you know,
you don't want them
get smashed or whatever.
Everything's sealed.
Everything's good.
And then she fucking looks at me and she was like,
excuse me,
my hot dogs are touching the marshmallows.
And I was like,
I didn't know what to say.
I was like,
I,
what do you,
what does that mean?
I didn't know what that meant.
I was like,
your hot dogs are touching the,
like,
they're not,
they're packaged.
What do you mean?
Like they're,
I,
to this day,
I'm not sure what she had a problem with.
Like, not exactly.
Like, was it the fact that one was cold and, like, was that the thing?
Like, oh, cold.
Because to me, I always try to put the colds with the colds, but it was just, this made sense how to do it.
This was like, all right, this was the last thing in the bag.
But she specifically singled those two things out.
And I don't know if she just has, like, a problem with literally a marshmallow touching a fucking hot dog.
And I don't know.
It was one of those things where I had nothing to say.
And, uh, that was.
that was the least. I've dealt with
weirder shit there, but that was one that kind of
still baffles me.
I still, I'm like, I'm not sure what you meant by
that. And, um,
I hate customer service
with all my heart.
I feel like, I feel like there's one time
I worked at Starbucks where like I would give some guys
chain instead of holding his hand out to grab his
change.
He kept fucking up and he dropped it and he
got out the car and he started
yelling at me.
When he got out the car, he saw how big.
guy was and his whole demeanor changed.
Because I think he didn't understand that I was a giant and I could probably eat him.
So he's like this Armenian dude started getting really loud with me.
It's Glenn to Armenian.
So if you know, you fucking know.
But so he started getting, because I was like, I was giving him his thing and I was like,
hey, man, here you go.
And obviously I know how to hand people things, you know, people.
And anything, if someone misses up handing something to you, your brain kind of auto corrects
like, hey, like.
Let me auto-correct and get this the right way.
And he kept yelling at me and I was like, bud, it's really not that serious.
Like, I'll go outside and I'll pick up your money.
I'll hand it back to you.
It's like $14, bro.
And I saw EBT card in your fucking wallet.
Like, chill, bud.
But like, he kept yelling at me and I was just like, dude, okay, whatever.
And then he said, he got out the car.
He said, yeah, and I was like, dude, it's really not that big of a deal.
I got you.
So I gave him a free drink.
And he like drove off.
And he came back later on in the future.
He was like, man, I'm sorry, bro.
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He came back later.
He was crazy.
Because, you know, he came back to the story.
They don't have any pride.
They don't have any honor over there.
I would have never come back to that store afterwards.
But I was just like, I would be going, this store's dead.
This store died.
Dude, can I?
You talk about like handing change.
Like, something that frustrates me still to this day is like, and I don't know why it
bothers me so much, but it does.
every time I pay for something in cash
and they they
and I need change in some way
if I need change that's like a dollar
like any kind of like
if it's if I get changed
that's paper and coins
they'll always give me the paper
and then they'll put the coins on top of it
and that frustrates me to no end
why I've handed to you
because I just I want to
because I want to
I don't like the idea it's like
all right well then I'm going to have to ball
this whole thing up and then shove it in my pocket
I can't really put it in my wallet
yet I've got to like
I don't know.
It's,
I don't know why,
but it really
fucking bothers me.
That is your minority
in this one.
I know,
I know it's weird.
I know,
that's fine.
I know,
it probably is for sure.
But like,
it really,
like,
because I,
I want to be able to,
like,
if I get my change back,
I want to be able to put it away,
like,
where it's supposed to be
immediately.
Like,
I don't want it to be,
like,
sitting in my pockets
because I forget shit
in my pockets sometimes.
And then I do the wash
and there's like,
ah,
god damn it.
Or like,
you know what I mean?
hand me the coins.
Wait, but like, so they want to hand you,
they don't want to do two steps, right?
They just want to, like, hand you the stuff.
Like, because that's basically the way that I would do it.
Like, you know, when I would have the cash register or whatever,
I would try to just give it to you all at once.
So it's like, here, the coins are, are supported,
and you have all your shit now.
Like, that's, now, you can do.
I guess how I feel, how I feel about it,
how I feel about it, right, is that, like,
I would rather get the coins.
coins first because the coins can't really go in the wallet anyway. There's no real place for coins in a
wallet. The coins are going in my pocket. But the bills have a place in the wallet. And so if you put
the coins on top of the bill, then I then have to fucking do like a tablecloth maneuver to get the
to get the fucking bill out into my wallet and they do all this extra step. But it's just like,
give me the coins first, dump in the pocket. That's a second. Then give me the bill in my wallet,
bam. But instead you've given me this like one book. You've given me this laundry to do basically.
Like this is
Well Chris
When you're given your change right
Most humans
They take it
They take the bills
They put the change in their pocket
They put the they put the
They put the money
They take the dollar bills
They put it back in the wall
They paid with just usually
And then they put the change in their pocket
It's like that's
Yeah but the thing is like for me
It's like I'm very
I'm very I'm very cognizant
Of like I don't like to waste
People's time
At like the at like registers and stuff
So like if I have to
If I have to take any extra time to separate the coins from the bill just to put it in my wallet neatly, I won't do it.
I'll shove it all in my pocket because I got to get the fuck out of there at least I got to get the fuck out of there.
So the person behind me isn't impeded by me taking a little bit longer.
You just got to walk two steps up.
Like I just get, I get away from the where they, you know, right from the register.
I step up right where you know, you gather your items and I am out of the way.
I'm out of the way before they need to
You know like I'm completely out of their way
And so you don't spin fucking like a minute there
You spend like an extra you know 20 seconds maximum
Granted
Californians the way niggas orders shit out here
And the way motherfuckers in track or registers out here
Fucking makes me want to hurt myself
It's unbelievable
It is un- It's fucking believable bro
It's pretty disgusting honestly
I'm not I am not an impatient person
And I am not a rude person
when it comes to ordering lines at all.
I'm very much of someone that was standing there
and I'll wait. I've gone to banks with my
grandmother's while she's opened accounts as a kid
and I'm just there. I'm just
in 161st Street in the Bronx
just waiting for my grandma to talk about
how it's going to affect her fucking
her overshore
counts or whatever bullshit. I'm just sitting
there. But people go up to the counters
and they're like
let me find my car and I'm just like
what are you doing?
You're in a line?
you prepare to pay you pay you leave that's kill a yeah that's kill we went shopping now one night
chris you went we went shopping that one night like pretty late in the evening when you drove and the
motherfuckers in the line were taking like 25 excuse me 25 minutes to just pay i dude i was losing it
and i was like this is crazy what was this we went shopping in the evening one time because you drove
you drove joe's car before you bought it from i'm pretty sure you drove it to um
you went to Vand or some shit like that and it was an evening it was like sort of like nine or ten we were just buying groceries oh I remember this yeah yeah and the people that were paying were taking so long to pay and I was freaking out I was like it does it take that long to pay this is dude this is my experience everywhere I go like I don't like this is this is that that memory doesn't stick with me as much just because that is every that is almost every single interaction that I have ever witnessed at a at a grocery store at like a register
it's always people making conversation or spending or they're always surprised for some reason it's always like oh my oh my wallet oh I should grab my what's like you're in fucking your pay you're in line what do you mean you're just getting your wallet now huh it's crazy and I don't know I feel like Lily had that problem for a little bit until she started dating me and I started mentioning it and now she notices people take too fucking long to pay and
And now she's like, yeah, it's ridiculous.
And I'm like, it's, yeah, I don't do.
I don't, it's, and because it's like when you're in line,
it is a New York thing probably because we're in a rush all the time.
It's a cultural difference.
Right, yeah, like a New York minute kind of thing.
When you get in line, when you get in line, you're like, oh, I'm in line to pay.
I'll take out my stuff to pay or I'll take a notice to like, I need to have my wallet right here.
My wallet's right here.
I go up.
I load my thing.
By the time they're already scanning my shit, I'm already over by the register.
my wallet open ready to start paying.
The thing is I treat
cash, I treat lines at registers.
Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you, Derek.
This is the last thing I'll say about it.
But like I treat registers
almost like I treat
the airport line before the
fucking, before the scanner thing.
Where it's like, I'm going to get everything that I need
ready so that I can just fucking
bit pop bam, like, you know, just get the fuck in and out of there
right everything. I'm not like fumbling over like,
what my number is when I put it in the thing or like what my code is.
I've seen people typing on that thing, that keypad, for like an inordinately long time.
Like a confusingly long time.
Like how are you spending five straight minutes?
Like actually I timed it at typing on the fucking keypad.
What do you do?
Look, what are you playing fucking RTS?
It's insane.
I, uh, here's the thing.
Here's the thing that's really, I don't have very many experiences like that.
I don't know if it's bad luck for you guys or if I, like, I'm very, I'm very, I'm very, I'm, I, I'm very impatient person like that.
So I think I'm very good at picking the shit because I, I've made mistakes.
Every once in a while I make a mistake.
And the one thing why somebody takes a long time is they'll be using WIC.
And WIC is for, you know, the people that need to get shit for their kids.
So they'll get like, the government will give them free stuff.
Yeah.
It's designated stuff.
So then they need to verify that it's the right thing.
And they got a, right.
It's a process that I've wanted to kill myself being in line.
Is it, is it still that way?
Well, it's been a long time since I've like, because I'm self-checkout.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Who the fuck knows?
I have the only time I don't go and self-checkout is like a traitor Joe because there isn't one.
So like every other fucking store I go to is self-checkout.
So I have no idea if WIC or anything like that still exists.
I don't think so.
I don't know.
I literally have no idea anymore.
Well, there it is then.
That's kind of the thing, is that there's a lot of places.
The places that I go to most often around here don't have self-checkouts.
They're just, they just happen to be like the most convenient.
Because there's a Trader Joe's, there's like, you know, certain convenience stores that they just don't, for some reason, they're all register.
And what adds to it is there's no self-checkout and they're all understaffed in addition to that.
So there's like, there's like four registered.
and there's only one person
working at the register
who's very clearly not paid enough to care.
I wouldn't care really either
if I was being paid
what I was being paid to work there.
Are you kidding?
So like it's a mixture of a lot of fucking problems.
Understaffed people not really having
proper etiquette in like lines at these places
and also just the fact that these companies
are paying these people not enough to actually
care about like what they're that, you know.
Right.
It's a fucking,
it's like a Powerpuff Girl's recipe for like
just a completely terrible retail experience.
Also, also, I'll be, I'll be, I'll be very real.
It's probably be the fact that we are so used to it moving fast, that just simple by
proximity of it not moving as we are, we're perceiving it as moving even slower.
That might be a very real thing as well.
Whereas like, it might just be like a decent time.
And we're just like, come on.
We're in page and everything moving so fast.
I don't even think so necessarily.
I think some of the time, but like I do think most of the time because I've, dude,
there's a, there's a convenience store around me that is always.
always understaffed, always.
Oh no, they are always understaffed in general.
Oh, no, but hold on, hold on.
There's always like, there's always a long-ass line that takes in, say, and I'm usually the person
complaining the least.
I'm like, I'm, I'm saying all this shit in my head, or I'm like, what the fuck is going
on?
Like, what is wrong?
Like, why can't, what is going on in this world?
But then other people in line are like, hey, can we get a fucking other person on this other
register over here?
I'm giving them a New York accent.
They don't have New York accents here.
They're all Armenian or something.
But, but like people, and it bothers me too because like they're just like disrespectful to like the one employee there.
I'm just like, dude, fucking.
Yeah, like it was their fault.
It's not their fucking fault.
Because they've never had a job.
That is why they've never done that job.
I feel like everybody should work a job like that.
That is why.
Yeah.
They've never had trust.
It should be mandatory, dude.
I stand by that.
You should have to work a period of time in retail because you.
are, it is seeing people that have never worked
the food service jobs or like retail jobs,
seeing the way they treat those people makes me fucking sick.
Yeah, it's pretty disgusting.
They don't deserve that.
This person is disgusting.
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You're absolutely right.
You're fucking sad.
You're what I'm sure right.
Because I've almost snapped a few times
and I would just lose my job.
That's it for being talked to like I made less than a person.
I would just lose my job.
It's insane, dude.
I've seen my boss get spit on, bro.
If someone spit on me,
it is game time.
Yeah.
I am going to choke them.
I am going to choke them fall on the ground
and make sure my back is to the floor so no one can get me off of them.
I've been lucky.
I'm going to try to kill them.
I got lucky doing my cashier job, though,
only because, like, doing the cashier thing,
it was, it almost was like a game to me
and, like, see how fast I can scan shit.
So like I was lightning so nobody had any time to complain when I was scanning shit because I was I was the fastest by far because they would have numbers.
They would keep track of all that shit.
And I would destroy everybody because first of all, let's be honest, even though it's not anybody's fault, people on average are dumb and slow too.
Like so even the workers.
And they're not there's no incentive.
They're not incentivized to even be faster.
So there's that too.
but even if they were, they're not that good in the first place.
So it's like, here's somebody like, here's me.
I'm not retarded.
And so it's like, all right, I can just, I know where all the scan things are.
I started learning everything is.
So I'm just fucking blazing.
And so people don't even have time to complain.
And that's not the average experience.
So it's like, that's, it's all fucked, man.
I think that's a video, that's a very video game, that's a very video game oriented mindset, too,
because I feel like I had the same thing where it was like, I would try to, like, speed run my job a lot.
100%.
Like I would try to like how fast can I like how fast can I scan every single thing in the in the electronics department and like update the sales tickets?
Just just to give myself some something to make it interesting because otherwise it would have just been so fucking bland and boring.
You'd want to kill yourself.
That was Starbucks, but they would still always find a complaint.
Yeah, that's the worst one.
The whole time of Starbucks.
The barista is the worst.
I would do shit ahead of time and they would still find a reason to complain.
And I'm like, what's wrong with that?
What is wrong with, like, I would get there, right?
And they'd make do the pull, right?
So I'd do the pull.
I'd pull all the beans.
I would take everything, everything that knew that got dropped off for the week of sales.
I would take it all out and I would rush and I would do it real fast.
And they'll be like, well, you do scan this?
It's like, yeah, I did.
Well, redo that again because now you're just doing this.
And I'm like, I did it ahead of time.
It is already done.
I don't need to do it again because it's already done.
I did it.
There's a problem with it, though.
And I'm like, you know what?
Just come in their fucking face and leave.
I'm going to come at you when you turn your back.
You're going to turn your back and walk off, and I'm going to come at you.
I think that's sexual assault, though.
I can't just be doing that.
It definitely is, but I appreciate you go to jail for that.
You got away.
You skirted the charges, so you're good.
It's real fast.
It was, it was.
the fuck's really not good
Derek you're right
no I was just picturing
fucking Kingston
coming on you
and you're like real quick
kind of like
you felt something
but you know
you're like you're not sure
you just go about your business
right now we're doing the podcast
right and I think it'd be funny
if all of us are doing it
and then just one person walks by
like one person walks by
in the background
I like one of our things
that would be fucking cool
who's that dude in the back
that'd be cool editing
who's that dude in the back
your thing
He's like, huh?
Who?
There's no dude in here.
Stupid.
All right.
That'll be, uh, that'll be, that'll be it for all, all the questions.
Um, we have one left, but we have another episode to do anyway.
So we're just, we're going to save that one for the next episode.
And then we'll, uh, we'll round out the month.
We got one more this month?
Huh?
You don't, we haven't, you have one more this month or not?
Oh, well.
No, no.
Oh, yeah. Well, it's not worth it's not. It's literally just bland. It's a, I can read it, but it would be a waste.
You got to write, listen, here's the thing. I appreciate that you guys, I appreciate that you guys send your stuff in, but at the same time, I don't want to incentivize people to write in nonsense. I want to incentivize people to write in good questions, which is why I typically don't read the nonsense ones. That's the only reason. But at the end of the month, maybe. Maybe it's a no-holds bar type deal.
Thank you all for supporting.
Patreon.com slash a Snark Tank.
Snarktank. Shop for all your merch needs.
And we'll read our $25 and up patrons now.
Count me now.
Three, two, one.
Hidden women.
Vaughn of the Dead.
Spiro confidently showing up on the set of Rupal's drag race,
unaware that it's not short for dragon race.
That's so stupid.
That'd be so fucking funny.
He's just there.
He's like, what's going on, man?
I'm ready.
They're like, yo, that's a dragon that's talking.
Round-eyed Asian,
Slender Man's gay brother.
Slender Man's gay brother, I like Menderman.
I like Menderman.
That's so fucking, dude, dude, clap.
I thought you might like that one.
That's a good one, dude.
When I was reading the credits for the last episode,
because we had to separate him,
I was like, I specifically said, like,
I think Derek Kixel will get a kick out of that one.
I like Menderman.
Menderman.
It's literally, it's facilitating your joke at any means necessary.
It is.
I like that.
idea.
This has got to make them laugh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good job.
All right, uh, wearing a trench coat to terrify and mystify.
Uh, phallic Baldwin skeet shoot.
I ain't shooting blanks.
Went on leave to Thailand and hit up Lingling the lady boy, took a big sniff of that
Mahi-Mahi and stuck it in his back walls.
Uh, carrying Chris around town as my pocket pussy.
Mikello Harris, transmask pussy.
Hey, hole fister by train.
Damn.
Hey, ho, fister.
I like making blisters in your booty hole.
That's so stupid.
Turin pussy.
In this life or the next,
Dick Stone Cold, call me BBC Austin.
Springsteen, I'm on fire.
Oh, oh, oh, I am gay.
Pooped in a sack, call it poop sack.
Lil Wayne telling Drake to keep it Canadian.
Jack, the world's fastest mayor.
Charles LeClerc won the Monaco Grand Prix.
Let's go.
Comcast, Wells Fargo.
Allstate Nike, Kellogg, Julip Packard, CV,
Mastair, MasterCard, Dow Chemical, Macy's 3M Delta Airlines.
Big meaty stinks.
Andy the man who's handy is now A-tier, but not as dandy,
sprinkling MSG on my dick and making him suck.
Sweene sounds like chills when he reads.
Chil!
Number 15.
Number 17.
I was walking.
Cedric Biggerie.
It's like history.
It rhymes.
Heath Smoker
Hearing him say that is crazy
Lawyer
Lawyer
Lawyer
Lawyer
Lawyer
Lawyer
Your way out of being
Gay as you throat
me
Gids
We should make fun
of Sween
The same as
Koso
The Immortal
Jellyfish
I only fuck
In fluorescent
Lighting
Homeless Transfam
Who Comes
Kodak black
Getting castrated
For raping
Irm
Um
E
E
Aem
Um
Listen to
Swords
Drawn by Army
The Faras
and see
Viracan has a sample
They're like
Jedi
Mindtrakes
One of my lecturers got cucked by the lead singer the pixies
I once saw Sweeney do a 50
Do 50 slow handstand push-ups
KSE my curse
There has come burning to find you
Will you come for me
Mr. Pants
I write fanfix of Chris and Sween
Getting impregnated by mutated
Musilie Bunny Peeps
Baller of the First Sin
Spum befudders
Sweeney please come to Sweden
The gnome hunting season is on right now
Oh that sounds fire
To hunt some gnomes in Sweden
Jolly old dipshit
Honk Thorsela
Honka's wheelchair mounted bike horn
he uses to communicate
May thy load
drippins
I really love
honked or Salahanka man
Like it's such a good fucking name
May thy load
drip and splatter
Cypher graph
fiberglass fleshlight
prank
I can't believe they put a black person
in my historical fiction game
I am going to climb
but this is ridiculous
Hunter Dubois
just pussy using a riot shields
Lily milk and Asman Gold
for just one drop of piss
What pussy would make a hypothetical
with a gay little red chode wolf
Not a gray wolf
Reds are nearly extinct
They suck so
That's literally I didn't even
Make a mistake reading that
That's literally what it says
Lily's Asparagus binging piss dealer
You must go to the bodega system
Uh
Caucasian container
The Crackerel for Gays disgruntled
Donald Trump burbing out Dom's clit
A Frenchman ate a plane
Google it and discuss
She Derek on my Sweeney to like Chris.
Can you please leave a few seconds of silent audio at the end of each podcast episode?
Patreon always cuts off a few seconds.
She Pipkin on my Pippa, Pissom.
Call her Robert the way she goes downy on my junior.
That's a good one actually.
That actually is one that follows the – that actually is one that follows the template coherently.
That is probably the best one.
That is the best one, for sure.
That's the best one I've heard, I think.
Yeah.
Um, that's so dumb.
Okay, Daddy, Derek, you can you can fight a wolf.
I believe in you.
Insulting that, insisting that bryl is a stand-up guy.
There's no need to insist because it's self-evident.
A monkey biting a baby's soft spot.
Just the hard R.
Star Coffee ripped the digital hook and now I'm being molested on the set of Ambrionic Sheldon.
This episode of Star Tank is sponsored by Booty Talk 93,
which features actual twin sisters.
My son froze to death in the waste of Ohio
by going homeless to pay you fucks.
And now this is Memorial Rip John Transfem Grummel,
exposing people with lactose and tolerance
to 90 million rodents of ionizing radiation.
Yush, Wurps, Craig the Canadian.
I'll have you know I am very retarded.
It's your boy, Shawnee Dee.
Age and 47 in a lobster suit,
giggling and wiggling his knees like a schoolgirl
waiting for warranty harding to enter the kitchen.
3XO.
And that alien, I really got to make that clip.
I got to clip that
Okay, so wait, hold on
Let me write these things down
Because there's one today too
That I wanted to do
Whatever
3XO and that alien from St.ero 4
Who says, who says,
Whoops, after killing 7 billion people
Somebody that I used to know
By throat yay
There is no cock like horsecock
Send your asshole into shock
You need horsecock of course cock
Slurping stroke and smoke and joking
Emotocon's going like this
Drip MH Lord of Homeless drip
If I were getting eaten by a bear
I would try to jack off real quick
Just to see what would happen
Boeing Battle Royale
Obi won't you blow me
Norwegian game dev now developing
Piss Quest featuring Lillian Swin
Kremlin to Gremlin
Lord Bartholomew Hand Job
Inventor of anal sex
I'm gonna steal your bones
I take sacks to the face
whenever I can
Tune of Remember the Name
5% gay 50% anal pain
That doesn't work
You gotta keep your eye on the syllables
Come come come come come come come
Come come come come come
Are you ready Shadow Man
I love cock
and other things of that matter, I'm gay.
Gay, I don't know why that got me for some reason.
I love cock and other things of that matter.
I'm gay.
Gay slip not be like thrust inside, put the penis in I.
Wage Slate 583, a sad guy from Michigan,
telling the boys it's not gay to mix common to our pre-workout
and not crossing my fingers and sighing when nothing happens.
The Pepini Brothers presents Mass.
Roshi Flo, they forgot I was him, so I hit him with General Blue's Third Reich's there.
Donk, Donkerson, definitely applause, definitively, applesauce.
Trying to trip me up with my dyslexia.
It's not going to work.
I read that already last time.
Listen to hit my spot by Your Pretty, hands down one of the best original gay songs I've ever heard.
You got to pay the trolls told to get in the boys' hole.
Gade 6.
I'm smashing that jazz cabbage by the 30s on Cap No God.
Uh
Uh
Uh
Uh
Uh
Uh
Uh
Uh
Uh
I think
I think
ESPN is just
ESP
But for black
people
That's so stupid
That is dumb
No
Grammar notes for Sween
That's so stupid
That's wild
No grammar
No grammar notes for Sween
Everything you do
In the pot is fire
Keep killing it
Gooner
Wonderland
By Earth Wind
And Come
Um
Um
Uh
Ah, help, fuck
She knocked on my loose
Till I suffocate
RFK's brainworn
I'll carpet bomb
The Gaza Strip for a quarter
Um
John Strickland
My partner snapped
The chairs off
My Chris Reagan
U2s
Then proceeded to tear
My legs off
In self-defense
Merks 1889
My man too
Flose
My man flew too close
To the sun
Totally gave me
The Icarus
The First Church
of Key David
Yes I would
Genocide the fuck
Out of some pizza
Second Church
of Key David
Feet
better than the first search of Keith David.
Pre-Raz, Blake 896,
disastrously big dicks,
dicking down big booty bitches productions.
FYI, it's been almost a year
and Mama J.F. is still missing.
That's fucking crazy.
It's crazy, man.
Man.
Chris trying to read like,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
Both JFK and RFK have holes in their head.
Alaskan oil field trash,
Texas Tater Salad,
Young Sheldon shot in Times Square,
Sue Hulk
Tickle my ass hairs
Nikki Zicky
Jerry Seinfeld
picking up his underage girlfriend
Sorry Miss Jackson
Badly Brave
Huggard Derek
Duck Hunt
The vegan necromancer
I got consent
Aetherian
Brogerian punter
Melfus 1 finally rehabilitated
And back in the saddle
With two functioning hands
And rounding out our list
As always
The King
Of a hap
Hazard
Let's go
Thanks for stopping
Bye
Let's fucking go
I'm gonna go
There used to be
Another
Uh seal
But now I'm margin
And I'm gonna kill you
I'm gonna eat your brains
Oh
Kill all the children in front of me
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