The Snark Tank - #247: Sweeny vs Uber
Episode Date: July 22, 2024MERCH: http://www.snarktank.shopPatreon: https://patreon.com/TheSnarkTank...
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Hey, look.
He said, hey, look.
He said, hey, look.
He said, hey, hey, hey.
I mean, it's going to call them real quick.
You guys are starting to enter back in furious, I guess.
Oh, my fucking God.
Oh, my God.
I'm so angry.
Oh, fucking.
Amazing.
Amazing.
Amazing.
Amazing, isn't it?
Oh, it might be, most of you would have closed the fucking door.
God damn it.
Every, everything.
He's doing everything.
Everything's fucking ruined.
you can't do anything right right now
oh my god
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welcome for the snark tank podcast
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an episode like today's
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we also uh kingston uh he's uh he's here uh he's here uh he's here but but should we explain the
situation should we wait until he gets i think we should at least just give a little just a little
like a little hey he's gone because he's taken massive else he's yeah he there's a lot so he
He is unfortunately inhabiting a brain space of intense incompetence along with somebody else.
Yeah.
Now, look, we record this show in person at my apartment in my office.
And so Derek, he walks here and Kingston takes a lift.
And I guess when he got here, Kingston left his wallet in his lift.
And so he calls the lift.
He goes, hey, my wallet's in the lift.
Can you bring it back to me?
And he goes, yeah, I'll get it to you after I finish this drive, this ride that I have.
And he's like, okay, cool.
So then the lift driver calls again and says, hey, I'm going to drop it off on the address on your ID in your wallet.
Instead of, you know, where I dropped you off where you clearly are.
Yeah.
fucking crazy.
This guy made so many assumptions.
He made a assumption that, oh, he's home that this, this ID is, people move all the time before
they get new licenses.
Yeah.
Like, he just assumed that everything was like, okay, he's here, clearly here, he clearly lives
here.
Everything's fine.
That's just such a crazy.
Like, I don't understand why you would just, you know where you drop this guy off.
It was one ride ago.
Right.
You know, the only time you do that is when, say, for example, I've dropped my wallet.
it on the street before.
Yeah.
And then, oh, there's an address here.
I'll at least take it here because that's all I can do.
Of course.
If you know where the person was.
It really is a level of crazy.
I honestly can't believe it.
Like, imagine, imagine you're pulling out of a fucking grocery store, like a parking lot.
You see a motherfucker drop his wallet.
And he just like, oh, oh, oh, you know, he drives off before you can get him, before you
can hail him.
And then I would think the logical thing would be, okay, let me just put it in the store
Because they're probably gonna come back to the store
Yeah, yeah
Instead, this motherfucker's like, oh, here's this address, let me go like, what are you doing, dude?
You're doing too many steps?
It is truly in and saying, here he is the man of the hour
He's back, how's it going?
It's fine, it's just away, I'll get it here, I'll bring it to you.
And I'm like, all right, cool.
Wait, so now he's bringing it to you.
Yes.
So why wouldn't he do it before?
Because what happened is that the address gets deleted immediately for lift.
Okay, they don't linger.
I guess what he says.
Oh, so this guy isn't like, he's probably not from here and you didn't know where he was.
I'm assuming.
Because it would be like, oh, I was on.
I was on that street.
I'll just go back to that street.
I told him here.
Let's see if the story's not over yet.
But we'll see.
So we were just explaining, we kind of told a little bit of the story up until the point where, where do we leave off?
So we just left off.
This is not a fucking adventure.
It's a bit of, it's a, it's not a saga.
Well, it is kind of a, this is a crazy amount of like, this is a crazy amount of like, this is a crazy
the amount of negligence on both of your parts. So it's like it's like two, it's like when,
when two, uh, when currents meet each other, there's a tornado. Because I gotta say this.
Yeah. I think how this started was how he approached it at first. Because the first thing he did
and he said, and I'll say the was the first thing I said like, well, call the guy. Yeah. And then he was
like, oh, I'm going to call Lily first. Like, I think that makes more sense. And I was like,
that first thing was like, well, that it would already went down.
where I was like, this is going to not be good.
Because the first thing you want to do is call the guy so he doesn't get too far.
Exactly.
Like he might be able to just turn right around and be like, oh shit, I'm still right down the street.
But you called Lily first where I'm like-
Well, I called Lily first.
I didn't know if I had to follow me in the first book.
That's why.
It was a blank of my mind.
That's why I did that.
You would want to call the Uber person first where you, that person that's moving, that's
on the move.
Lily's not going anywhere.
That's true.
Yeah.
So like the first thing, like I said, possibly this all could have been avoided.
If I would have called them immediately.
Yeah.
And if he was like, oh, she, yeah, I can just, I can just turn right around.
The thing that I find is so funny is that, like, I just don't understand why.
I get the address is deleted, right?
But you know where, like, if you're, if you're doing Lyft, I would assume so.
I feel like you have some assumption of like the layout of the land.
I would assume so, but sometimes.
Oh, I dropped this guy off across from the Trader Joe's on Alameda.
He didn't go that far.
That's the thing.
Right.
And I feel like, was he in San Diego?
So here's the thing.
He's obviously really stupid.
So that's the thing.
He's stupid.
So he needed to, as soon as he probably turned off the street.
street, it might have well been in another country.
Yeah. It might have been, because that's how
some people are actually. He might have just been burned out, honestly.
I don't know how long he's been driving. That's a good
point. But dude, like, it's so funny.
Because, okay, so you call him
or he calls, like, I'm going to drop it off it at your,
what the address that's written on your, on
your fucking ID. Oh, yeah.
I got my old, my ID's and license. This fucking
my old place. Yeah. From fucking
Valencia. Yeah, you thought it was the
place. Well, whatever. Yeah.
I don't care. So you thought it was the
place prior, but it was two places ago. So you tell like, you're like, so you call your roommates
where you used to live. Yeah. Right? The people used to live and you thought it was at that place.
You let him know, hey, well, it's going to show up. Cool. And then. I was like, hey, but don't worry
about it. You're Scott free. When he shows up and calls, the phone's dropping. The call's dropping.
So you guys are having miscommunication. You're like, okay, let me just call my friend to let him know
that he's out there. And you mentioned the street that it's on or the address in your
You're like, wait, that's not where they live.
Chris says that.
Chris says that's not where they live.
I know that.
I knew your address, your old address better than you did.
I thought that was like very funny.
Amazing that happened.
This is a series of miscommunications gone wrong to the umpteenth degree.
Yeah.
It's, it's, it's, it's, it, that, this shit doesn't happen.
That's why.
That's why I don't wear loose shorts, man.
Can't do it.
That's the thing.
That's what we were talking about.
You should start Donald ducking.
what is that just don't ducking was that oh like no pants yeah pants in it um i think it's no
yeah because you just a fanny pack and uh no pants and it it forces you to make sure you put
your stuff in your fanny pack and not be lazy to put stuff in your pocket and potentially
lose it again that's high power i think you have to do it now that's some high power shit
i'm not gonna do it but i'll think about i think you pop three c alice and then you
donald duck i pop three c alice and one extends yeah and there's golf
They're fucking twerk looking for trouble.
Is it still even making product?
Is that still a thing?
I'm pretty sure it almost killed somebody.
So they were like,
we can't have these anymore.
There's no way that shit even worked,
did it?
I don't know, man.
I never used them.
All of those.
I never played with penis poses.
I was like,
this could be dangerous.
There was,
there was one other brand before them.
I can't remember what it was called,
but it was,
they had a guy named Smiling Bob.
He was like the,
the mascot.
Smiling Bob,
like,
and it would do like these kind of innuendo things
or whatever. Damn it.
I can't remember. Inzite. I think it was Inzite?
This is Bob.
Bob is looking cool.
And with a call to Enzite about natural mail
enhancement, Bob is living large.
In a few short weeks, Bob has
a big new spring of confidence.
This is Bob.
Bob is playing well.
That's because not long ago, Bob decided
to go big time. New clothes,
new clubs, and a call to Enzite,
the effect of a reliable way to natural
male enhancement. And in just a few
short weeks, Bob has a big new swing of
confidence. I have no idea.
I remember. Damn it. It was before
because Extins was the second one. Have you
guys never used dick pills? Never, right?
I've taken one gas station
pill one time. I actually
remember specifically. I just wanted to see how it went.
Just curious about it? Yeah. That's exactly what Zach did.
He took too many, though.
This is when I came back. Oh, they took more than
one. No, he just took one rhino pill. He's like,
oh, report back to you. That's crazy.
I came back to Cal
I was living in Arizona at the time, and I came back in 2012.
And that was when I got my license to spend it because of some bullshit, right?
And then, so when I came back, I didn't have my car.
I was actually taking a bus to go see my girlfriend at the time.
And so I took it like, you know, 30 minutes before, you know, I was like, by the time I get there, it should kick in or whatever the fuck.
And like, it didn't kick it immediately at all.
All it did was make me hot.
And it gave me this weird white after image.
shit. It did not give me a hard penis. Maybe I performed better. I don't know, but I was too
distracted by the other effects. You had fucking after, you had fucking ethereal site for a little bit.
It's crazy. My friend did the same thing and he basically, I think everybody, I imagine if you go
on Reddit or something, there will be people talking about that weird white after thing you see.
There's a lack of blood in your fucking head and how hard your dick was. He's more paying attention.
That's so crazy. You were just scared. You thought you were dying. I was probably like almost
stroked out and shit.
and I just didn't know.
That is so insane.
That is so fucking crazy.
You only do things like that once, though, right?
You know what's funny?
I'm afraid to take psychedelics,
but I was totally okay with trying dick pills.
Well, I mean, that makes sense.
Psychedelics are like,
like people take those and they have psychotic breaks.
Not most of them.
Right.
But like enough of those,
it's like that same thing where it's like you hear about the worst shit.
So obviously you're going to be a little bit weird out by it.
Smoking weed to taking DMT immediately.
Like what's the,
What's the worst case scenario? What's the worst case scenario for a dick pill? Heart attack.
Well, yeah, I feel like there's probably, like, just the unknowns of what is in that cocktail, I guess, is really stupid for me to take that.
They sound like gas stations. You can't be that bad for you.
I feel like those are not FDA approved at all. Yeah, I have definitely taken some things that were, you know, mixed in the same batch and they didn't clean them out well. And you know you're getting like some of something else that you shouldn't be having. Yeah. It's like, tainted supplements is.
such a, it's a real thing, right?
In, like, uh, combat sports, people get popped for, uh, they think they're cheating,
but they're, they're taking stupid cheap stuff.
They're, they're trying to get around taking, like, the more expensive stuff because a lot
of them get paid dog shit.
And then so they'll get like the Chinese factories where they make everything in the same
fucking bats.
And, um, and, and yeah, so you get, you can pop for some type of opioid shit that you
clearly never took.
That's wild.
So, yeah, so yeah, so you got to be careful.
I never took, I took, I never took math.
you sure?
Are you sure?
You might have.
You just didn't know.
Trace amounts.
I feel like everybody's taking trace amounts of most things.
Most things.
I know.
Like I remember like a friend of mine
failed the drug test because he had like,
he would eat these poppy seed.
I was just talking about that.
Too much.
That's so,
the trace amount of poppy seeds like the opioids and poppities, right?
Or like something like our cyanide,
but that's so little.
If I even found that is crazy.
Yeah.
It's,
it's,
it is enough to where it happens.
It's happened actually multiple.
time. I feel like it's insane because it's like
so, because I've got Chuck that's and I used to eat poppy seed
bagels all the time and it never showed up.
I don't think you eat him as much as like say, I think there's people.
But I guess I probably like only eat that. This was a daily, this was like a daylo.
This was like go to morning sandwich.
It was like a poppy seed like roll with like a bacon, egg, cheese, ketchup, salt pepper.
And that was like his, which is fucking really good by the way.
But, you know, so I mean, I don't know.
It was it enough for him to get fucking dinged.
Yeah.
But like, what's he explained it was like, guys, I'm not.
I'm not.
On opioids.
Do I seem like I am?
Where do you get those from?
I actually just, we were talking about this the other day at my house, me and Jojo.
And I was so curious because I'm like, how the fuck is like the whole process of even making heroin?
I was like, what plant it is?
I've seen the little thing and then it's like the white stuff comes out of it.
I have no clue how to do it.
I saw it.
So the funny thing is Jojo knew way more about it because since they're,
second world country in Lithuania, a lot of farmers.
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To make ends meat, they, they grow poppies to, you know.
Oh.
Yeah.
So like a lot of,
you'll see in a lot of poorer countries,
they'll grow poppies to make ends meet.
What the fuck is a poppy actually?
A poppy plan.
Well,
so it's like that has a,
it's a flower.
Like they have a,
it's like a redish,
like a light colored red flower.
And then that's never thought of it.
They do it before it like blooms and shit.
They just,
you see it like it's green and it has that little fucking bulb.
And so you,
if you cut it open,
you see all that green,
that mean,
sorry,
that white jizzy shit.
That's the,
how they make it.
And so you see the seeds when it blooms.
They're all like the little.
And I was like,
oh,
this is crazy.
I've never seen that before.
Yeah.
I didn't know anything about it.
I don't think it's weird.
I was so like painfully,
in curious about what a poppy seed turned into.
Ah.
I just know that they were on my rolls.
And I was like,
hmm.
That's it.
Yeah,
I just got curious because Jojo,
she's currently,
she's job hunting.
Like,
she already secured a job,
but she's looking for like other opportunities to.
Right, right.
And so I was kind of like,
Oh, he's finally here
That's a new saga
All right
New chapter
It's not even the same guy
I get abducted
Enough
You get abducted
Some fucking 5-2 Asian man
Just throws you in the back of the car
It'd be really awkward
If he gave him no tip
I
I don't
That's
That's the
I feel like
Of course you have to
Because of all this shit
But you almost
Because of just like
The thought
His thought process
Pisses me off
so much of like, why did you, you couldn't have, I feel like your first, okay, oh, the, the address is deleted.
Let me call the guy and ask, hey, where are you?
Yeah.
What the fuck, dude?
Yeah, I don't know.
It's, look, it's a lot, it's whatever.
There's a lot of people.
I've noticed there's a lot of people that kind of just operate in a, there's a linear line of
thinking and they just kind of chug forward and they don't ever like stop and like look around to
think about other things.
They just kind of just go.
Oh, yeah.
Well, this is their day.
You have to think about it like a job in the way that we used to have jobs where, like,
I would go to Sears and I would do my tasks, but I didn't fucking, you know.
I was putting stickers up for like sales on the Allen Wrenches, sales on this, sales on that.
If somebody came up to me and asked where the Allen Wrenches, well, I probably, I don't know.
It's in the tool department somewhere.
Fuck away from me.
I don't know.
I'm not paying attention.
This is like I'm on autopilot doing the thing that I need to do to survive.
And that's probably what this is.
is like, you know, you drive, you zone out.
You know, you're probably not paying that much attention.
You're just like, oh, destination here, destination there, cool.
Do it.
But still, like, it is crazy to be that you would assume that the, because, dude, my, my ID still has like, fucking, it's like eight addresses ago.
Exactly.
You know, like, what the hell?
Exactly.
Mine, right currently is Nevada.
It's my Vegas address.
It's my Nevada ID driver's license.
where my driver license should be coming pretty soon.
Dude, I almost failed the written test.
Oh, here?
Yeah, because it became,
so the last time I took it was like 2013
because when I had to get my license back.
All good?
Yeah, I'm good.
Okay.
Everything's all right.
I gave him like $50.
That's way too much.
Yeah, but I was like, I'm sorry about the day.
I would have gave him a 20.
Yeah, 20's fine.
I was like, I'm sorry about your day, man.
You were going back and forth from me.
$50 if you were like...
Especially because he probably already took $50 out of your lot.
He didn't get any money.
If you did, I would have yelled.
I'm like, I'm going to get my money back.
He would have Tokyo drag race away from you, man.
He would have gotten a Mario cart and like skirted into his car and got his cart and left.
What would you have done were, say, you meet up with a guy, he's still in his car, he rolls down the windows and you see in the backseat as a girl tied up.
What do you do?
It's none of my business.
Can I set my wallet?
That is, do you think of in your heart of hearts?
Would you just ignore that?
I'd be like, what the fuck is going on?
Like, what is this?
Yeah.
I'm my daughter.
I'm kind of 50-50 with it.
If you let him go, you're going, you're in trouble because you're the last person that he had contact with.
So it's like, yeah, you guys and you have all this money in your wallet.
So.
He, oh my God.
He leaves your wallet in there with her.
And are you implicated in it?
Yeah, yeah.
So I guess.
For some reason, a girl is saying, she's describing me.
I'm like, no, I never saw you.
Okay, I would have called the police.
I would have called the police.
He was tall.
Dude, this really reminds me of like there was, I saw a video like on like a ring camera.
It was like a ring camera video that was circulating around Twitter of some guy who was like,
hey, I found your wallet and I walked like 20 minutes this way.
So I found your address.
Here it is.
And they're talking to the ring camera.
And he goes, and the person on the ring camera was like, okay, thank you.
You could just leave it there.
I'll come down and grab it.
He was like, yeah, man.
I kind of walked 20 minutes.
So, and I miss my bus.
So I'm just going to take a, like, a cool 20 out of here, if that's cool.
And then she goes, what are you doing?
Stop.
Get out of my mom.
I was like, no, it's just a 20.
I'll even leave, you know, I'll leave most of it.
I just need like a 20, you know.
It's like, yo, that's fucking crazy.
It's like, I mean, I would do that too.
That's the craziest way to rob somebody.
Yeah, why would you tell them?
You don't tell him,
he thought he wasn't
get a reward.
He thought he was going to get an award
and praise.
Yeah, for being honest.
But he barely got anything.
So he's like,
I'm getting something.
See,
the thing is he probably would have got something
until he insisted.
Well, no,
no, no,
he was just like,
he was going to leave it.
She's like, all right, cool, bye.
That's it was kind of like that.
Yeah, that's kind of what it was.
Oh, she already said, yeah,
I'll leave it.
All right, thanks.
First of all, you got to give somebody
something if they do something like that for you.
You got to give them.
You got to be a good.
Yeah, because it's so easy not to do that.
Exactly.
Okay, that's a good point.
So, yeah, I mean, I still wouldn't reach in the wallet and just take it myself, but I get it.
I would absolutely.
I have definitely when the Bronx found people's wallets on the floor.
Seen had money in it.
Like, oh, that's crazy.
Take like a $100 bill.
And then it's clearly a drug dealer dropped their wallet while they were running from the cops.
And I'm like, dang, that's crazy.
Look, if there's that much money in there, yeah, you don't, you don't leave it.
Like, to me.
I should have took all of it.
If there's like, this person needs this person.
Yeah.
I ain't taken me.
If there's like way too much money, I'm like, all right.
Okay, you're stupid.
Like, oh, there's $300 in here?
You clearly have enough money.
Like, you have expendable money to just take in your wallet.
That would happen in the Bronx all the time.
On 170th Street where I used to go right by where I grew up, people would run from the cops, right?
And they would get rid of all the money in the shit they had.
So you'd find weed.
You'd find whatever else on the fucking sidewalk.
So people were just hunting.
They were just probably like, you know how like those old people have the metal detectors on the beach?
Exactly.
No, no, so you'd find a wallet sometimes.
Oh, there's a wallet here.
You open a wallet.
It's way too much money to be in there.
You're like, that's awesome.
I've had a couple of, uh, I saw a few hundreds and I was like, I'm just going to take one.
I took one.
But at that time, I was like 11.
Wow.
So that was way too much money for 11 year old.
Dude, that is a crazy amount of money.
I remember my first $100 bill and how crazy that felt to get one.
I was that one.
I wouldn't give me that all that fucking money at once.
Like I got it for like a, like a birthday or something.
Right.
It would be like a birthday, like some like, like, like, like,
your family would like chip in or something and you're like give me you can have 20
yeah your parents are you give me my money it's my I hated that shit I'd get money for my
birthday and my grandma like give me that I'll hold on to it and I'm like grandma give me my
you were a doctor you don't need that money grandma give it back you know grandma give it back
you know how not okay you know how my grandma had so many sons you know how badly I'd get my
ass beat if I did that it's so funny though because it's like that's like that's a
I feel like in my family
the grandmothers would do the opposite.
They would, they would sneak you money
so that your parents wouldn't divvy it up.
That would be sick.
My grandma was my mom.
So, you know,
my grandma gave us.
You didn't have that cheat person.
I don't have the barrier.
I'd have the barrier.
It was like,
I'm just raising this little motherfucking out of a piece of shit.
So like I got to discipline him.
My grandma,
she gave us like reasonable,
like little, you know,
dollars, five dollars here and there.
But no, there was never like all this money.
She was kind of,
she was a gambler.
So she could impart with too much money.
because she's going to be like, I have to go hit the slot suit.
She was, yeah, she had a problem.
Or she does, I think still.
For me, the thing is that, like, I never, I rarely got what I wanted.
Yeah.
I always got what I needed.
So that was the thing, right?
I hated that.
I hated that.
I hate that.
I always think it's like, I always got what I needed.
So at the end of the day, and I said, I'm not, I'm a grown-ass man.
I can't complain.
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambatta.
We discussed his vision for the future.
of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,
whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum,
or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question
of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy
of building stuff? Yes.
Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came.
to IBM. I wanted the experience the culture of building hard things that others have not done
before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point
when it will mature. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from
that point with Conta? By 2029, we'll build the first Volt-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that
can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing,
visit IBM.com slash quantum.
All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there.
What's worse?
Being understaffed or being poorly staffed?
Well, that's a trick question,
because both are recipes for chaos.
Either way, just say to yourself,
this is a job for indeed sponsored jobs.
You'll get matched with candidates
that meet the skills, certifications,
and everything else you're looking for.
Or go a different way and get no traction.
Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs.
It really is a no-brainer.
Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes.
Less stress, less time, more results.
When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.
And listeners of this show will get a $75-sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status.
it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast.
Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now.
Indeed.com slash podcast.
Terms and conditions apply.
Need to hire?
This is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs.
I'm like if I needed something I got.
If I needed a pair of shoes I got,
if I needed new basketball shorts, I got them.
If I needed like something for like school or like for better than me,
I've got it.
But when I wanted it, I'd have to beg my heart out.
And then I'll be like, I'll get this,
but I'm not getting anything for your birthday.
And it'd really be that.
I'd be like, well, I get somebody at this game now,
but I'm not going to get it for my birthday.
The birthday were coming, I would get like a meal made for me.
And I'm like, that's good enough, I guess.
Yeah, I didn't get like, I got stuff, but it was more at the expense of me not getting allowance.
Like, say, if I wanted something extra.
Yeah.
I fucking hated that, though, because it wasn't like I would see some of my friends and how much money they would get.
Because some of my friends, they weren't poor.
And they were like, oh, 20 bucks here, this, that.
Like, I would get, for until I had a job, I would get $10 a week.
So, say if I wanted a game, like, mom, give me Marvel Super Heroes of Street Fighter.
and then okay but you're not getting allowance for a month
and I'm like fuck
I really want it
I'm like okay the food
the house is stocked with food
I have everything I need but I can't fucking go out and get a bag of chips
I can't do anything
and so it was annoying
I hated that trade off but that's how I would get dollars
I would find so much money on the street
man
it really it really is crazy
it is lucky I'd rob people
I find out of because I'm paying it from people
it's crazy you would see some stuff like that too
even in Yonkers.
You'd see like,
oh,
there's a fucking wallet.
What's in here?
Oh,
a 50?
It'd be bags of powder
and I'm like,
like, come on.
Whatever is,
I don't care about that.
Wow,
a hundred dollar bills.
Or you know,
you know what a common thing was?
Was,
just the dollar bills like blowing.
Like,
there would be like,
there would be one like blowing
because it clearly fell out of somebody's hand.
Yeah.
You'd be like,
people would chase.
I saw a guy dive into the fucking street for a dollar once and
and like,
Jesus Christ.
That is for a dollar.
People are struggling.
People are always struggling, dude.
I was going to church with my family.
And then, like, it was like a really windy day.
And I saw this guy dive into fucking traffic.
So what if it was 100, you know?
It wasn't 100.
For 100, I would risk it a little bit.
I wouldn't risk it.
Not anymore.
100 in the 90s is, that's not.
That's like, that's different animal.
That's like 30% of your rent is $100.
That's like $300, 400 right now.
It's so insane.
Like watching old sitcoms and they talk about like, my God, my apartment's fucking 300 bucks a month.
Yeah.
I think, I think on my first apartment in 07.
Such a fucking ripoff.
It was all in it.
What did you move out?
How did you move out?
So what was I?
19?
19?
So like right after high school?
So just a year after.
So I chilled for a little bit.
Did absolutely no.
Dude, it was awesome.
I did absolutely nothing that summer.
I gained so much weight because when I turned 18 March of that year when I graduated in 06,
I started getting these checks of, I think it was my dad's life insurance.
And.
Oh, we got them immediately?
Yeah, when I turned 18, I didn't get it because he died when I was four.
So I got money.
Those five just withheld from you until you were, I got to make sense.
And still, I wasn't, I wasn't ready for it.
So I did get a car.
Okay, I got a car.
But then everything else was my tank, when gas was almost five bucks in 06, my tank was always full.
We went everywhere.
I ate fucking, I usually would get these half order of super nachos and super fries.
But this time it was full orders all the time.
So it was like, those were like,
about 10.
Dude, when you get that money
when you're a kid,
when you get that first
such a money when you're a kid,
it's so responsible.
I paid for a year at the gym.
Instead of just doing the,
you know,
the month,
month,
I'm like,
fuck this month of month shit.
You didn't even go.
You're like,
bro,
I did,
I wasted most of that money.
By not,
I just paid for a year in full
and I went probably,
I ended myself a little bit too,
but I probably went
three months out of the,
in total.
You know,
I went in sparingly,
I did the same thing.
I did the same thing
when I went to the gym
for the first time.
And like, yeah, I'm, I'm making a real decision.
Well, for me, I'm just like, I don't want to see that charge every month.
I'd rather just have like, I'd rather just know where I stand now.
Yeah.
You know, just get out of the way.
For sure.
When I.
Support local business.
When I started working at, when I started working at Duncan, that's when I first got, like,
I never was poor, but that's when I first started to get in my own money.
And you were around some of the times.
We would go.
We would just go anywhere.
It'd be like, let's just go somewhere.
And they're like, all right.
Because we were all, we were like, we were like, not exactly.
I feel like I never went anywhere.
You were not.
We weren't exactly after where we were, but people, people weren't exactly poor.
You know, people weren't exactly poor.
This is where my development was, people had money and they lived there.
Yeah.
It was like, it was like middle, middle.
It was like middle.
It was like middle, middle class, lower middle class.
It was like at the very middle points.
We would go anywhere.
We'd go to like fucking six flags.
We would go to Rye Playland.
It would go to fucking Connecticut and just buy dumb shit.
I was buying weed out the ass, dude.
It was insane.
I was like, oh, yeah.
I'm not learning the value of money, but it was fine.
Yeah.
And then I moved here and I was fucking.
fucking destitute for like three years, three, four years.
And it's just like, it's dude, it's just simply understanding how to be able to spend and use money.
My grandma was trying to teach me that.
But I think I got a job before she could really hammer it into my mind.
I should have paid rent at the house where I live with that, man.
That would have been a good idea.
I think that's a good understanding of it.
But the thing is that when you make your child paid rent, you have to respect their privacy also.
Yeah.
And they didn't want to do that.
My aunt did not want to do that.
My rule was that I would pay rent.
rent kind of to myself.
Like when I was like staying home for a little bit,
I was like,
I'm going to spend the money that I would spend on a rent and put it like in like a thing.
You know what I mean?
Just because like, why not?
You know,
it seems it would benefit you greatly.
It's to do that.
And I would actually recommend that of most people like who are living at home to do that.
Like don't like,
don't take for granted the fact that like you are,
you have a free base.
You have a free ride basically,
but also like save that money.
Yeah.
For sure.
For sure.
Good investment.
I think I'm going to make my.
kid pay rent, but I'm going to truly give them the freedom of somebody.
At what time when they get a, when they get a job?
After high school.
Oh, like if they're still home, like after high school.
After high school, my rules are going to be if a kid is like if you have, if you're
at a high school and you're the first, I will give you one year to figure yourself out.
I give you one whole year for yourself out.
You can do whatever you want.
You want to go to college.
You can go to college by all means if you want to be you have to work or go to school.
What if you find out that around 16 years old, your kid actually hates you and wants to get
emancipated. You thought everything was cool.
I respect it, man. Yeah.
There's no, you literally thought there was no
problems like, Dad, fuck you.
I pretended to love you this whole time.
Like, I've been a very, like, their father, like,
very kind, very much of supporting.
You've got of everything. He has the PS10 or whatever the fuck is out of that time.
Like, I'm a great father. Like on paper.
Like, and I have two kids. Other kids, like, I don't know
where that came from, Dad.
Spits in your face.
I don't know.
Fuck you, dad.
The brother is like, I, things were, things seemed fine.
Dad, you were great.
I don't know what, what's wrong with him.
I don't think I would make my kid pay rent.
I would, I would, not necessarily.
I would make them pay rent, but the stipulation is like, you will see this money.
Oh, no, yes.
This is like going into a thing.
You have to pay this rent, but it's, but you would, you, you would let him know or would you not let him know?
That's what Lily's dad wants to do for us right now.
I don't know if I would let him know necessarily.
I wouldn't let him know.
I don't know if I would let him know necessarily.
I was that I was doing right now and I was like no dude
he gave us a fucking house
This is your money
Please because he can be making so much money from where we live
Right yeah yeah yeah yeah he can making a ton of fucking right
Literally if if I mean maybe
Well at least like probably double
You can make you can double and a half
You can make 2.5 at least yeah at least like maybe like
Close to close to two three bands
I have
All right
A hundred percent of people think I understand where you're
Think of how much a studio costs.
No, no, I understand.
Based on the metrics of how fucked everything is, yeah.
But like, I mean, that's...
If I was looking for that place, if I was looking for that place,
if I was, like, looking at rent a place.
I wouldn't.
That's like a $15 to $1,700 place.
I would say, it's in the back of somebody else's property.
It's no privacy.
It's really, really small.
It's the square feet that gets me.
Yeah.
So I would be like, all right, cool.
So I was like, you...
In a just economy, that would be like a 17-750.
you know what I mean?
Based on how nice it is,
but also like take it into account
this square footage
and the fact that it's on someone else's property
in the back where you have no privacy.
Yeah, where they were like, yeah, you know,
if the next people that move in or whatever,
I'm sure you're, uh, Lily,
Lily's parents got a spy glass
and just check it on it makes sure
they're not doing any weird shit because,
but you never know.
I could, I could never imagine that shit, bro.
That's very Mexican, dude, right?
Mexicans do that shit all the time.
I think it's insane.
They do what?
People living on their property.
And then they get fucking.
over. They get into my mom's
fucking gone with her or the house that I
grew up in. That that happened.
Some people that, the whole thing
was a cluster fucked. Like, long
story short. That's why you got to do contracts. Dude, you have
to do a contract. It's so unfortunate, right? Because
Yeah, but the rights, the renter's rights
in California are crazy.
They're insane. Dude, even right now for me,
I could fucking do squatters bullshit
to at least father if I wanted to.
Which is absolutely preposterous, but it's possible.
You know, and it feels bad. It's either like
what happens is they see other, other
I don't try and locking up people.
And they're like, I don't want to, I want to help this person out.
Because that's what my heart wanted me to do.
And I'm like, all right, cool.
I'll figure out rent where you can live here.
You have to pay rent and I'll give you your privacy.
You have used for the washing machine, all that stuff.
I would do that for somebody.
But then because of people being shitty in this world, you would get fuck over very likely.
The thing is that everybody is expecting someone to fuck them over.
So they fucking does.
Because it is.
Because it is, it is, it is that.
It is that way.
If you don't, if you don't eat the dog, the dog, the dog's,
going to eat you, you know, unfortunately.
It just kind of is how it is, you know?
And you're living, it's like, well,
if I can save money in this
obviously unjust economy, why would
I not do that? Like, why wouldn't
you do that? I don't know, man. I just, I don't, I don't, I don't,
be insane not to, quite frankly. People would be insane
not to employ squatters rights on people. Like, it's
fuck, I don't get it. Are you kidding? It's this
instinct is like, you, I don't know. I,
I'm also not doing terrible, you know?
So I'm ignorant to it. I'm not fucking
down tried and struggling in desistute.
So my brain is not the same.
I don't have kids as well that I have to like hopefully protect.
So that's why I'm like that.
But it's like dude, like just come on.
Like come on, dude.
Like what is going on with this?
Dude, it's insane.
Yeah, people suck.
Whatever.
I want more money though.
Give me more money.
You guys figure it out.
Whoever's listening figured out how to get us more money.
Either give us more money or make things less expensive.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
You guys got to make a change right now.
You guys got to figure it out right now.
I'm not doing it.
I wish it was just some guy that we could threaten to make this.
You know what I mean?
No, there is.
There is.
I mean, there's.
Let's get on to.
There is.
There is a couple of people.
There is some stuff.
You got to be game.
You can't be half involved in that.
And they also, you know, they might.
They might.
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata.
We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
Right?
Yeah.
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with Conton?
By 2029, we'll build the first Volt-Hol-Tolerant quantum computer.
That is one that can run a very, very large.
lodge problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com
slash quantum. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse? Being
understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for
chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for indeed sponsored jobs. You'll get
matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for. Or,
go a different way and get no traction.
Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs.
It really is a no-brainer.
Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes.
Less stress, less time, more results.
When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.
And listeners of this show will get a $75-sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status at
deserves at indeed.com slash podcast.
Just go to indeed.com slash podcast right now.
Indeed.com slash podcast.
Terms and conditions apply.
Need to hire?
This is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs.
You know, some people are already working on them.
You know what I mean?
Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look,
we're working on already.
We got, uh, we got one thing in the, in the topics to talk about.
Hey.
Uh, and then we can move on to some questions from our lovely patrons over at
Patreon.
on a com slash snark tank.
I guess this is kind of where the show really begins.
We used to have Mexican titty.
Now we have,
we have no,
he's only Mexican tities.
I have no American tities anymore.
Is it,
the city epidemic?
That shit was Shane Gillis.
Shane Gillis on Kill Tony.
I don't think Kill Tony's very funny.
I don't.
I think it's kind of man most of the time.
But every single time,
Shane Gillis shows up is fucking.
What's that guy's name?
The Tony guy?
Hinchcliff?
Yeah,
I don't,
I don't like him,
but I mean,
I'm like mixed.
I like him sometimes
and then other times
I don't really care.
To me,
he just seems like the most smug fucking person.
I don't know.
I think it works.
Yeah.
I think it works for him.
I don't think he's funny enough to be that smug.
I think that's what makes it funny.
That's funny to me.
That's interesting.
Yeah.
That's interesting.
Like he gives,
he gives up like,
he also did really well at that roast.
And then there's this laugh that he does that I can't stand.
It says his look.
Like he does this thing like where his teeth kind of start perching out.
Yeah.
Like he's like he's eating the crabby fatty.
The little,
the little.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Squidward bite.
He does his thing.
That's the first thing I thought of when I thought.
But, yeah, that was a really funny.
Yeah.
The Shane Gillis stuff.
You gotta get me, Jack.
You can't fucking touch me.
That Biden impersonator was really good too, actually.
He was.
Like, he had like a really solid.
Like, that is how he sounds, actually.
There's a point where it got out of hand.
It got, like, really wild.
And I was like, holy shit.
This is, if I was in that crowd, I'd be screaming.
You see the guy with the little hands?
Yeah.
And he was like, he was literally like, oh, shit.
let's reset
Let's reset
Anyway
That wasn't what I was going to talk about
Yeah take as many shots at me Jack
Please somebody I need
Please look at me free
He's had this fucking unhinged
Face
Set me free please set me free
Let me set me free
At his next
Break me home
His next round
I miss my mom so bad
I let me go home
Why isn't nobody doing it to me
What's going on here?
They won't let me have a weapon
You know what sucks?
A bunch of bullsies
I'm gonna have to like do like deviated septum
Surgery or whatever the fuck that is
Oh to fix your nose?
Yeah
Oh, you never do anything about that
But it's getting annoying now
What's wrong with your nose exactly?
I just like I find like I get to these points
Where it's like it's kind of like
I never feel like even
Like when I'm breathing through my nose
It's never like
It never feels like correct
You know you're not to be able to breathe both of your nostrils
You know that right? That's the thing
What you're talking about?
What?
It's just to be able to usually one nostrils
It's kind of always close
somewhat closed.
I've never heard of that before.
It's a thing.
You're not usually supposed to be able to breathe
through both your nostrils.
Some people can do it.
Like I can most of the time,
but sometimes...
Yeah, but I can't, I can't most of the time.
It's kind of the thing.
It's like, it's mostly like one...
You can take an air from both of your dick.
One year and, like,
I thought that was the thing.
Like, you can take an air from like,
usually most of time one knocked away more than the other.
He's taking air from both of your nostrils,
the same...
As long as I'm not congested.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sometimes I'm just really contesting.
Like, well, people who don't have like, you know, fuck the nasal situations.
I don't think we're not sick.
Like a lot of times.
I feel like, that's normal.
It's fine.
Sometimes you're not.
You got one of those back alley doctors.
Look, sometimes I agree, but most of the time it shouldn't be the case.
I'm looking at.
I think probably like breaking my nose in the fight probably like made it a little bit worse than it was before.
Do you an extra spleen?
He says put it up my nose.
I'm like, please stop.
Let the spleen up your nose
That's not where it goes
What is a spleen? Do you know what a spleen is?
Your spleen, I forgot what it does.
You're like a medical guy.
Your spleen, I think helps you digest like,
I think it helps you digest like fatty acids.
No shot, that's true.
I think it does.
I think you're lying.
I can be wrong, but...
I think you're lying.
I think you're an informant for big spleen.
I'm not lying, but I'm not lying purposely for you're wrong.
I could be incorrect.
I don't know.
I thought the gallbladder did that.
Like, because I know it produces bile and I thought the
while was to help break down like the the the the there's the wishbone
do enzyme the wish bone helps you help you imagine I couldn't it's too stupid it's the bone that
allows you to say I wish if you didn't have that bone if you take that bone out of someone they
can no longer say those words it's the bone that uh causes you to seeing airplanes by B-OB
featuring Haley Williams oh and so it's like
Okay, so the swing...
If you couldn't sing that song without it.
It helps you fight off invading germs in your blood.
Whatever.
It helps you.
It cleanses your blood a little, huh?
It cleans out your blood.
I don't believe that.
Can we pretend that it planes?
We got some news about...
I can really use a wishbone right now.
Cody Co.
Oh, yeah.
Cody Coe's in the news.
Oh, yeah.
Only 37 minutes in, just about...
That's why I said this is kind of where the show begins.
We're dilly-dallying around a little bit.
All right.
Just because that start was so crazy.
It was a pussy footage level of a fucking guy right now is going to crash through the ceiling.
I fly Uber plane now.
Uber plane would be a real thing soon of that.
I would never do that.
I would never do that.
I would never do that.
I would never do that.
I would never do it.
Don't get me wrong.
Although they do have Uber helicopter, kind of.
But you can do that actually.
I don't know if it's through Lyft or Uber or something, but like you can get like.
I remember seeing one of those options when I was coming home from my.
when I was flying into JFK
and I landed and there was like an
option to take an Uber
or a taxi to
Grand Central or a fucking helicopter.
Oh wow.
And I was like, what?
That makes sense.
Who the fuck is doing this?
Rich motherfuckers?
Yeah,
to avoid all that traffic.
Wasn't even that expensive really.
I thought about it.
But then I was like, I don't want to, you know, Kobe Bryant.
Yeah.
You know what's crazy?
You've ever been like in a helicopter?
No.
I look at the person.
They're like, I can just fuck this off
for both of us right now.
Well, like just just just hit the fucking good.
Or like we're in a car or something?
and they're like annoying you and get it's like
I can just jolt this thing
I can end this
I can end this
I can end this all
I think about it sometimes
I never do it but I think about it
like we got the shooting range
he just like
turn around
See that's why I don't go to
I don't go to shooting rings
because of that
Because I feel like
It's smart to avoid for that reason
There'll be the
unlucky person
Just that one time
Some asshole comes around
And he gets you
Like they don't get him
Before he gets you
You know you're like all the bullets
You take up all the bullets
No no no no like
You're the first target
He gets like maybe two
people and you're the first one. He's like,
do, da, do, do. I feel like I have
the kind of luck. I have such a backhanded
luck where, like, I feel like if I was at a
shooting range, I would get shot, but I would survive.
Oh, yeah, you get your beard shot, you get your
graze a little bit? No, it would be
like my, like,
I wouldn't, like, I would get hit in
the back or something. You're paralyzed?
And then I would be paralyzed for like a year.
Oh, wow. You know what I mean? But I would eventually
be able to walk, but like when I was able to walk again, it would
never be quite the same. Like, that would
really, that would make me so much more angry than just
being paralyzed because at least I could get around like doing like crash team racing stuff.
Yeah.
But like the idea of just like, oh man, I'm walking but like at like my 80 year old self's, you know,
ability.
That sucks.
Would you still?
Would you still do the podcast or would you be selfish?
What do you mean?
Would you still?
Would you be selfish?
Would you be selfish and like stop doing this podcast because your life was ruined?
You're a kind
You're an absolute quiet
The look at his face
It was sold it
Would you be selfish?
Anyway
Cody Co
Dude we're not doing the podcast
He's gonna fucking quit
You're in your fucking bed
We're in shower crying
Because he can't fucking walk him
I mean I'm in an iron lung
And I'm breathing
All right come on you're being a fucking baby
Stop being a bitch Christian
I slapped the lug up
He's like,
BING.
You're still funny,
nigga, get up.
We're just sitting on his bed
while he's doing the fucking
Huck as breathing heavily.
All right, Chris, read the names.
That would be
I'm sorry to any of our listeners
who are in iron lungs.
Yeah, yeah, sorry.
Not fuck you guys, man.
Hope that lung gets hot.
You think we have any,
you think we have any listens
in an iron mask?
What is it?
What's an iron mask?
You know,
like Leonardo Caprio?
He was in that, right?
Was he in that?
Are you talking about
Man in the Iron Mask?
The Iron Mask?
Yeah.
Who's that?
The superhero.
You mean Iron Man?
No, the Man in the Iron Mask.
You know the Marvel spin-off?
The Man in the Iron Mask?
Yeah.
Metal Man.
Look, I'll pull her up right now.
Pull it up.
I have no idea what the fucking does.
Metal mask man.
Metal computer man.
It's computer man and arachnid lad.
I want to make fellow arachnid.
I want to make sure it's actually.
No, it is Leo.
It is Leo.
I'm right.
No, but you've never heard of the actual manning iron mask.
I have no idea what that is.
No, I think I see the face.
Let me see the face.
I thought you were just trying to say Iron Man in a dumb way.
No, no, no.
So I understood that like you, but that was like, oh, I wasn't sure if you were leaning into the bit or if you hadn't like actually.
That's just MF Doom.
Let me see.
I've seen.
before.
I've seen the
image before.
That's just
it.
La la la la
la
a
That's just
But no
That's a real thing
I actually don't
remember like
the backstory of that
I just remember
Leonardo DiCaprio being in it
and they like
fuck his ass or something
Can I tell you something?
That feels like a movie
from like
a parallel universe
because I have not
Not only have I
never heard of that movie
Yeah
Not only have I
Am I very familiar
with the Leonardo
DiCaprio
And I've never heard of this
I've never even
seen that imagery
anywhere
I mean, it's not
I miss that entire
My whole life without coming across that
Do you think they slip through sometimes
Like this thing from the alternate
Made up place?
I think so
I think so
And it's like where did that come from?
I think that's what a Mandela effect is
Seriously
I think that's what happened with Sia
What did what she do?
Exactly
Like why is she around
Who the fuck is this person?
I think she makes some good music though
I have Dave up sometimes
She kind of came up one day
And it was just like okay
She did come out of nowhere unless
I'm sure there's a documentary that explains her.
I don't even think she has a birthday.
I think in the documentary of it.
Can you imagine there's no, she's like, Jesus, man.
There's like no fucking record.
Her ID just has her height on it and that's it.
Height and no age.
I mean, is she still doing shit?
She made a song.
Because I've heard two of her songs.
Chandelier song.
And then the other one, like,
I put my arm on show you how gay I am.
She just did she stop.
One, two, three.
Yeah, that's the chandelier one.
She said see ya.
To her own career and she fucking vanished.
She said, what are you fucking 50?
See you later.
See you.
I've been having deja vu about shit that's impossible, dude.
What?
I had deja vu about like, I had deja vu today.
I got my PS5 about playing my PS5 and looking over at it and being like, this is not possible.
This came out a week ago.
I know what you mean, yeah.
And I hate that because I get so stressed out.
And I think that's, obviously, it's just my brain putting together memories of like shambled.
Like, ah, I guess.
It's your brain fucking up, which is like really distressing.
Yeah.
Because like the fact that that can happen is like, oh, I know I've experienced this before, but that can't be real.
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna.
And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create,
smarter business.
My one advice to them.
Pick areas you can scale.
Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side.
For example.
If anybody has more than
10% of what they had
for customer service
10 years ago,
they're already five years behind.
If anybody is not using AI
to make their developers
who write software
30% more productive today,
with the goal of being 70% more productive.
Yeah. Wow.
So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it.
We say, you can leverage what we did.
We're happy to bring out all our learnings,
including what needs to change in the process,
because the biggest change is not technology,
is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things.
To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks.
All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers.
there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question,
because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed
sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications,
and everything else you're looking for, or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously,
sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored
jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing
candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right
person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. And listeners of this
show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves at
indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and
conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for indeed sponsored jobs. So like it's just like,
oh, it's just your brain being fucked up. The human brain is not even close to perfect. What about the
phenomenon of and I imagine it's like, you know, it's like Dr. Strange where he ran through every
scenario. There's like one is, I, this is my best guess of like where people dream the future.
And but it's in like, say, not in very broad like, oh, a basic scenario of something happening.
Something very specific happens. Or like, what the fuck?
I dream that because this is happened to me like like at least four or five times throughout my lifetime where I'm like I can't fucking believe this happened. I dream this. Yeah. And a very specific. Well, I might have talked about on the podcast years ago. Like some girl was chasing me when I was in elementary school. She had a yellow shirt on in my dream chasing me around the classroom. And then it fucking happened. This girl named Whitney wearing a yellow boys and girls club shirt chasing me around the classroom. I was like, what the fuck? I was like this. I dream this. And I'm thinking, okay, only explanation.
as an adult, I'm thinking
there are so many scenarios going on
in your dream and so many dreams
of things. You must eventually get to one.
Eventually just landed on something like that happening.
You're just, you grab pieces, you know.
When you wake up every morning, your brain just grabs
little pieces in like, all right, this is your memories for today.
Yeah.
I remember the things that you try to remember the hardest
are usually there, but there are sometimes,
like think of how many things have happened to you, you know?
Not much.
Like a couple of things.
Nothing's happened.
A couple of things have happened.
Dude, I remember one time I was really fucking high.
I remember I was really fucking high.
You know when you go to P and it's like,
you get the dual stream?
The viper.
Yeah, the two stream where like forks off.
It only happens to me when I have like.
Right after I come,
that's the only time I happen.
Like when I have a little residue left.
Oh, okay.
So same, same.
Okay.
So that's what happened.
Well,
yeah.
But I was like really high.
I remember I was really high and I did this.
And I had the two streams.
I was like, I remember thought like,
oh, this must be like,
another version of myself is pissing.
at the same time.
And then it made me laugh so hard while I was pissing.
Did I ever tell you guys that I legitimately
pissing in the middle of the night one time
when I looked at my dick, it was upside down?
Was it like, what do you mean?
So what I mean is, what the fuck are you talking about?
The top of my head was fucking now, not the top.
It was fucking turned around 180.
I can't sanction this.
It woke me up.
I bet.
I actually was scared.
And I was like, oh.
And it wasn't like, it was like, but legitimately.
That would put me to sleep.
It was like me when I'm playing.
You see that and you just, oh.
Oh, I'm tired.
And you fucking still pissing.
You lay down.
You still pissing?
You still piss it all over the.
Do you think that's how the Native Americans yawn?
That's so disrespectful.
I can say that.
What the fuck?
Your heritage of my grandma.
That's so rude.
that.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait, that's kind of fire.
That's kind of fire.
John Redskin.
Play the drums.
That was a funny joke.
Very funny joke.
There is a one time I was playing video game.
Throat's mouth.
Throat's mouth.
We want to hear this joke.
That's my cousin.
Listen to podcasts.
He's an himself.
Runs with scissors.
Runs with scissors.
scissors.
Runs with
scissors and
flirts with the underaged.
Anyway,
Cody Co.
I have one thing to say.
We're never going to get to this.
I've tried so hard.
And got so far.
There's one time where you were like your
your dick was upside down.
Yeah, yeah.
There was one time,
there was one time where like I was playing
video games, right?
And it was really late at night and I pissed myself.
What do you fucking mean?
What do you fucking mean?
Like at like at the gate,
like,
Sitting there?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why?
I don't know.
What do you mean?
I thought I thought I was in the bathroom.
Dude, my eye twitched.
What do you mean?
You thought you were in the bathroom?
You're playing Assassin's Creed too.
I must be in the bathroom.
Let me piss.
I'm kidding.
I'm fucking kidding.
But actual story,
Lillian's going to be mad as fuck.
It was one time Lillie had a dream where she needed to use the bathroom.
She was little and she peed in her mom and dad's bedroom.
She was like four
I mean that's kind of the normal way that it would happen
But she was like so embarrassed
And she just said she just stood there and cried about it
So she added tears to the piss
It's disgusting
And she got beaten savagely
She got beaten savagely
She got beat elbows
Growning
They discovered
Had to start elbowing this poor little kid
Her parents started watching UFC
Was like brand new
Like this is fucking awesome
That's when it was anything
When you could do any bullshit
In it
His strangle her with a blanket
and dangled her off the bridge.
Do they bars, by the way?
But, like, that's crazy.
That's pretty good.
That's really genuinely crazy.
You're pissing yourself.
I don't know if I can be myself.
I think I've tried recently and I just can't do it.
You've tried?
What are you?
Why?
Because I want to know if I could, if I could make my brain be like, do that.
You can.
I can't.
It's so easy.
Wait, what?
Wait, is it?
Yes.
I'm broken?
Yes.
I have no reason to do it, but I could.
What you're saying, what you're saying is that you cannot piss on command is what you're
saying.
No, even when I have to pee, I'm like, I'm going to pee myself right now.
That'd be funny.
And I'm like, I can't.
My brain won't let me do that.
My brain won't let me remove that life.
You're not going to do it, not because you can't do it, but because you understand the value of that bit is so low.
It's not low.
It's pretty funny.
Look, it's, I did somebody pissing themselves.
It's pretty fucking funny.
It's funny, but like it's not, you have to deal with that.
I want to do it.
I think it would be funny.
It's pissing yourself.
It's hilarious.
I bet you can do it if you drink a gallon of piss
Well yeah
Because I'll get it'll filter through immediately
It'll oh this is just piss
Put this in the piss container
You'll get the piss out
Put this right in a piss container
Yeah
Anyways move on the questions
Yeah
Oh we're not
Whatever
Yeah Cody Cody Co sucks
He's a fucking idiot
Cody Coe was fucking Tanamoja when she was 17
Gabby Hannah openly told Cody hey she's 17
And he was like
Oh my boy coo
bad, bro, I didn't know.
And then proceed the fucker that night.
And then he fucked her.
Yeah.
So, I mean, hey, dude, Cody Cole has always had given all kind of dickheadish energy.
Yeah.
I, I, I have not seen, if I've seen any of his content, it was like somebody else you
recently said that like, you have no, you're aware of who they are, but you, I can't
remember who it was.
No, I don't know.
But it was same fucking shit.
Where I, if I've seen anything of him, couldn't tell you.
I've laughed at this shit before.
I thought him and Nora Miller together were very funny.
I think Noah was particularly.
funny. I've seen him and no Miller
Miller's like clips on like TikTok
and stuff. I've seen that. But uh,
you know, he fucked me. He did what
he did what he.
Look man.
You can't. You can't.
Just come on.
You're 25.
The biggest thing is like you were told.
So even like, right.
There's no, there's no sugar coding it because you were
told him. Because it was like, it would have been like,
because I remember somebody was giving the explanation.
I remember it was it. Gabby or whoever it was,
was saying like, oh, I understand that
Hannah looks older, so maybe you thought, but
no. Like when we're, I don't think
anybody, you know, look, I don't think anybody
earnestly, like, if you're at, like, a party, you're at, like, a bar
and you make out with somebody who looks older
without knowing is really going to give really that much,
maybe some people will, but like, I mean, that's an honest mistake, right?
It's a mistake.
Especially at a bar with, quite frankly frankly, like, a lot of people, like,
get into bars without, like, with fake ideas and shit.
That shouldn't be there.
That's fucked up.
Yeah.
And you're like, fuck that person for doing that.
Right.
For being the person for being the person.
person to go in there, you know, when you can't.
But he was told explicitly, and it's like corroborated by people who have no reason
to corroborate, really.
So, like, it's definitely true.
And so it's just like, you told him and he said, oh, thank you for telling me.
And then you went and fucking.
Did it anyway.
Bander?
That's crazy.
It's such a, it's such a, especially in, as you, you're an internet personality.
You're famous, right?
You're famous.
Why wouldn't you just be like, oh, yeah, okay.
Thank you for, thank you for letting me know.
that's not worth it.
I'll go grab any other legal.
I have,
there's probably DMs up the ass of women
that want to bang me or so.
Legally!
It's so,
that's the thing that is so,
I expect,
remember when that,
uh,
what was the fuck that kid's name was,
uh,
call me Carson.
Oh yeah.
What happened with him,
I expect,
like when you look at that guy,
he was younger though,
wasn't it?
That kind of,
that kind of felt weird about it was.
Carson was,
the girl was 17 and he was like 19 or something.
And he was 19.
She was,
she was,
the thing is that.
I think he was freshly 19, and I think that's what a problem came from.
But freshly that age.
But what I was getting, but still that's a mistake on your part.
You got to be, you got to move smarter.
You got to move smarter than that.
What I was getting at is that 25 to me, 2017 is a lot worse.
When I see like call me Carson as a person that if I, when you look at that gentleman, no, you know, no shade.
But that is not a, you know, he's not a handsome cat.
What is what you're saying?
I'm trying to say that without his cloud, without his position,
that's the only reason he's like getting anything.
And I expect people who don't, listen, listen.
And the people who don't normally talk to women or get women or something like,
I expect them to do, make mistakes like that.
I expect them to be like, because now they have this power and influence.
So they're going to make stupid mistakes.
I expect stupid shit like that happened.
It's more forgivable for me.
and when a person that would,
because let's be real, that person
without the clout that he had,
you think he was getting pussy before?
You never know.
You never know, you never know.
We're using Occam's Razor.
Stop doing that.
But at the same time,
stop doing that.
You have to move into television.
Well, Alcum's Razor would suggest that he would be
because like plenty of ugly people
with no power get laid.
Not at that age.
A 19.
Do you think we'd be in the position
where now where men are all fucking lonely and fucked up?
I think that were true.
Well, I agree.
Change the subject.
I don't want to fucking talk about this
if you guys can do that fucking devil's advocate.
It's not devil's advocate.
It's just like I know so many people who are not attractive.
Of course.
Ugly people get pussy.
Otherwise,
there would be no ugly people on earth.
Of course.
Right.
Yeah.
We're not talking about no ugly people get pussy.
He's getting heated.
I don't know.
I'm getting heated because it's like,
no, triggered snowflake over here.
It's just like, hey, we're fucking talking about this normal thing.
It's like, hey, let me interject with some bullshit.
And it's like that you know you don't need to do it, but I'm going to do it anyway.
That's what this whole show is.
It would be, if you were doing it for community purposes, I would play into it.
It's just like, let me just say this.
Let me just let me, I just want to interject.
And I'm like, oh, come.
I, I, I, I, I, I just want to be with you.
High lately.
I don't know what's going on.
Actually, it's fantastic.
I just got my blood pressure.
Shout out to you, dog.
Good shit, bro.
I got my blood pressure.
I don't give anybody my blood.
Yeah.
Well, I didn't give anyone my blood.
They took, they took, they took, they took, they check my pressure.
Chris, they don't, they, Chris, they don't take your blood out to check that.
No, I don't, I don't, I don't understand.
I just don't give my blood to people.
I wouldn't.
I've been to doctors.
They say, like, we really should get you a blood test
because you're looking real rough.
And I say, no.
Son, pretty sure you have polycythemia barra.
Paria.
And then fucking.
The animal crossing of cancer.
Guys, me, Chris Reagan,
pretty sure.
Pretty sure my doctor diagnosed me with a fucking polycymia.
Gay.
I got gay.
I don't know.
Should I open a go fund me guys?
What do you think?
Can you imagine if I, like, lied about being short?
You were as long as this time.
You were tall to me the whole time.
This whole time for no fucking reason.
I would respect that, actually.
Because it's so unheard of.
It's such a like, what?
You lie for short king.
Privilege, I guess.
I think hard mode.
That's hard mode we're talking about.
Can you imagine they take your blood, right?
Take your blood.
They're like, put on a thing.
They're like, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gmbata.
We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,
whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI,
coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need a day?
have a legacy of building stuff.
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with quantum?
By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.
That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.
All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there.
What's worse?
Being understaffed or being poorly staffed?
Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos.
Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs.
You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for.
Or go a different way and get no traction.
Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs.
It really is a no-brainer.
Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes.
Less stress, less time, more results.
When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs.
And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves.
At Indeed.com slash podcast.
Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now.
Indeed.com slash podcast.
Terms and conditions apply.
Need to hire?
This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.
This is this.
And it's red like blue.
It's still red like blood, though.
There's no hemoglobin.
We've done.
There's no hemoglobin.
This is urine.
There's no blood cells in here.
Ms. Jameson, we've, we've, we've analyzed your son's blood.
And it seems, I've, I've ever seen anything like this, but it's, it's all urine.
Every ounce of it.
Every, not a hint of blood to be seen.
Not a single hemoglobin.
No.
A single white blood cell?
Not a single, not.
There's no iron?
There's nothing that isn't piss related in the sample of blood that we took from your son's arm.
What's crazy is that this is effectively water, but this is just piss.
The government is on its way.
I'm sorry.
You're like we'll never see him again.
I'm very sorry.
Fucking government lassoes.
They're going to try to rent.
They're wrangling me.
That's what the Secret Service should have had.
They should have had a lasso.
They could have just like,
take the gun out of his hand.
Take the gun out of his hand.
And then someone starts whipping him.
Like, he ain't going to fucking
up up.
Wow.
It'll be a very different situation.
Very different situation.
Why don't more assassins use bouncy bullets?
How so?
Let me put it this way.
It goes through someone's head and then it bounces back around.
Like the threaded spectre thing that you throw as a hunter and it comes back to you
and you can throw it again.
Well, I was just thinking more like a thing that bounces, but yes.
Yeah, like bouncy.
Like a bouncy ball, but it's a bullet that pierces your head.
Like rubber bullets, but they're a little bit harder, I guess.
They're like, they're real bullets covered in bounce.
They're covered in bounce.
Like the dryer sheets.
The bounce dryer sheets, they smell really good.
They're delectable.
Yeah.
But like, but.
But, Cody Co.
I know what you meant, but yeah.
Cody Co.
This whole situation really.
So this thing really blew up, huh?
So can I say this?
Yeah.
I don't know if this is necessarily fair.
What's up?
But it is kind of how I feel where there's a lot of people who write into the show or like,
they'll be in the in the chat on Twitch whenever I'm live or whatever.
And they'll ask like, when's the next guest?
When's the next guest?
Like who else is going to be on the show?
And I agree.
Like I want guests to be on the show.
But shit like this real.
really fucking makes it so sad, you know, because I'm always gonna, if we have somebody that we don't know very well, like, we had, I'm Alex, you know what I mean?
And I think like, ah, great. It's a little funny, right? But there is part of me that, like, thinks, like, the reason I don't collide with people is for that reason.
It's like, I don't want to just don't want to fucking deal with, like, having to answer for that. Like, imagine being Noah Miller right now. Like, it's just, that was your man. You know, be know what's, you know what's interesting about that, though? You weren't guilty?
It's not that big of a deal, I guess, because it's not you.
I hear you.
But it's still annoying.
I hear you, but I think we're past that point now.
Because if you notice, all the shit that really has happened or anything that's getting exposed was there was that like moment around 2016, 2017.
Like people are getting exposed now, but they were doing fucked up shit way back at that time.
Oh, right.
And I feel like pretty much anything, especially the people that were interested in, I feel like, I feel like.
like everything's kind of the dust is settled is what I feel like yeah yeah I guess so I feel like the
people that we like say the people that we've had on so far like like say we had on Leon Lush
yeah I'd see anything weird with him and then this tomorrow yeah tomorrow uh Leon Lush's son is in fact
an alien and I'm like what the fuck dude that's crazy your movie sucks I mean he he he's open
about the weird shit that he's into it's no big deal uh fucking who the fuck else was
on the show. Yeah, the Lyle. Meek Canyon, Lyle. Yeah, like, these are people that I generally...
It would just be the same people again. I feel like that's so nervous. We just keep having our
same group of friends on. We would have fucking little, my me can on here eight times. And he'd be like,
honestly, I haven't really made anything to. I didn't kind of... Yeah, I would get like Lyle,
I'd get like Mick. Like, people, people that I like and trust and know, like, very well.
Yeah. And I'm sure, like, we'll have some people that we like, that we don't know super well
or like people that, like, we know kind of tend to... I know. I know. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,
I do want like Jay Aubrey to be on the show at some point.
I want that lined up actually.
Then like the scheduling got fucked up.
Yeah.
I would love that John because Jay is such a fucking analyst on anything he paid attention to.
Jay Leno?
Aubrey.
Jay Leno.
Oh, I'm sorry.
You said Jay Leno too.
I swear to God.
I actually heard Jay Leno too.
Right?
I swear I got it.
It sounded like Jay Leno.
I think you actually, now I think about it.
I got to go back.
You're winning.
You have to open.
You go back and listen to it for sure.
Stop.
And going back and it says.
Jay Leno.
I love Jay Leno.
He's great.
I love Jay Leno.
Like, stop.
You guys are waiting.
Exactly the hour mark.
I'm going to see all his cars.
I heard that.
Anyway, yeah.
Don't sleep with underage people, just generally.
Like, a general rule of thumb, dude, as an adult, especially like, especially
like your, you're 23 and above, just stick to people who can drink legally in the United States.
I think there's like plenty, there's plenty of action that you can find that is entirely ethical.
Be a lot of that age.
There's weight.
There's almost.
too much legal pussy out there yeah there's an astonishing amount it'd be a lot easier man it'd be a lot
easier and there's way more fun you can have by going to those 21 and up places so that that really
helps i've definitely like not gone to parties because it's just like oh we're going to an 18 and up
bars like why the fuck would i want to be at an 18 in a bar i'm 30 i went to what oh yeah that that is
strange insane when i turned 24 um one of my one of my friends who was 22 was at uh us csb uh
hello hello i'm malcolm glabwell host of
Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta.
We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM Research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,
whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI,
coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
Right?
Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with
Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can
run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing,
visit IBM.com slash quantum. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse?
Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both
Both are recipes for chaos.
Either way, just say to yourself,
this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs.
You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills,
certifications, and everything else you're looking for.
Or go a different way and get no traction.
Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed
are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs.
It really is a no-brainer.
Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates
who check all your boxes.
Less stress, less time, more results.
When you need the right person to cut through the chaos,
this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.
And listeners of this show will get a $75-sponsored job credit
to help your job get the premium status it deserves.
At Indeed.com slash podcast.
Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now.
Indeed.com slash podcast.
Terms and conditions apply.
Need to hire?
This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.
And I went to a party there and I was like, these are children.
I could see it on them and I was like, yeah, I can't do this.
Yeah.
You can see it on some of them.
And then some of them look deceptively old.
Yeah.
So it's just like, look, man, I can't be in here.
It's a mixed bag.
It's a fucking weird.
It's dangerous.
Yeah, you feel like I'm in danger.
Danger.
That's the thing.
Most people.
Make up makes people look older sometimes.
100%.
No, that is kind of the, yeah.
Yeah.
So it's like, you imagine, dude?
Imagine you like go home with somebody.
You're drunk.
And then like they take their fucking makeup off and they look at a fucking
rubber baby.
It's like, what?
All right.
I'm sorry.
I got to kill you now.
I would rather kill you.
At that point, at that point, I don't think I could, I'd be like, all right.
All right.
I can't excuse me.
I think I would, I would peel myself like a banana.
They just rip the inside to myself out.
They come in a room and they're holding a blankie and they're actually in a pack three feet tall.
Because the cops, that's what the cops would do.
If you had got in trouble.
Your beer goggles made them taller?
The cops are like, there's no fucking way you didn't know that you can't just put,
makeup on a baby.
Well, yeah, yeah, no.
I'm exaggerating.
I know, I know what you are.
But I'm just saying,
if you try to defend yourself,
they'd be like, bro.
No way.
Imagine I'm sitting here right now.
I wipe the makeup off
and I look three.
It would freak me out.
How much makeup do you have on you?
Whose baby is this?
Is this actually Chris?
Whose baby is this that's been in person?
Was there ever a Chris?
Yeah, because then I'm like,
I'm scared.
I'm like, I don't want to be alone.
I knew you longer than three years.
So I'm really confused.
at that moment.
That would mean there would be a point at which
the baby substituted you.
But you'd never know what it is.
You have to like ask me questions that only I would know
sequentially up through the years
until like, you know what I mean?
Chris is still in New York.
Oh yeah, guys, I never moved.
You guys just stop talking to me.
You guys just like stop talking to me for some reason.
I give you a call and it's like, hey man,
I haven't talked to him in a couple years but like I hope you're doing well.
And you're like, what?
I just saw you yesterday.
What?
This is weird.
Chris is in the same room as me right now.
Wait a bit.
I don't know.
Why did you just call me?
I would really, God, my dream is to like give somebody like a slightly too high dose of shrooms and pull something like that off on them.
That'd be great.
Like I really love psychologically torturing people, I think.
You know?
Do you hear this guy?
I've always wanted to like someone who's deeply religious wanted to like do some devil shit, you know?
Yeah.
I've always wanted to do something like that because they believe it.
No believe you're like possessed or whatever.
Why do you guys want to torture people?
Well, because that's just funny because like,
it's the idea.
Remember, I was just funny.
It's funny.
It's funny.
Come on.
I want to shoot an air canada on someone's pants and then make them shut out their organs and they die.
See that's funny.
It's funny.
Come on.
Look at him.
His underwear's red now.
It's funny.
Come on.
Look at it.
Open the door and they get hit with an air cannon and then they hit the wall and they're flat.
Like a fucking cartoon like Wiley Kay-O.
They get too.
Dude, seen that.
And there's so much visceral and blood on the wall.
And I'm like, hey, yeah, yeah, isn't it fun?
Hey, Brad, is that?
Did you like that?
Hey, Brad.
It's funny.
When people are afraid of clowns, you wake them up in the middle of the night with your friends dressed as clowns, like circus music in the background.
What do you mean?
It's funny.
It's funny.
Come on.
What you do is you fucking, you, you fucking slap someone in the face really hard while they're sleeping.
And right above their, you know, because they're going to stand up.
You put a knife right up.
What you do is you
is you have to
you're sleeping right
and you fucking you
you wake them up right
and when they wake up
you have a shotgun
don't barrel shotgun
in their mouth
right
you just hold it
there you're like
you're like
oh
you don't fall the trigger
you're like
uh huh
I got you
riddle me this
you're gonna tell me
you're stupid
you do so much shit like that
your roommate is like
stop it, bro.
Stop.
Bro, stop.
He bites down on a barrel and eats through it.
You're alone, bro.
I'm trying to sleep.
I'm going to get you next time, bro.
The idea of just like somebody walking into a room and just announcing it's like,
I really like to psychologically torture people.
And that's just me, you know.
It's just me living my authentic life, you know.
In that tone.
Yeah, exactly like that.
Like muted, but like kind of like very serious.
I would never hang out with somebody like that ever.
problem what do you mean what i do is i like making people's voices and then what i do is i mimic
parents voices and then i make i call their parents and i'm like make it's not going to be in a car
crash and i'm about to die and i really fuck up their night and they feel better when their
mom comes back inside the house afterwards it weren't yeah somebody pissed me off on twitter the other
day so i like found videos of their of their voice and like i trained an AI on it and then i
used it to call their parents and tell them that i was i'm sorry i'm going to kill myself and
then um you know this is what i like to do you know what do you mean what's the problem
I don't know
I'm like video games
I like making people fucking
I really like playing games like
Kingdom Hearts specifically
I think I like how you guys are speaking
Jack
I like I like you guys
I play Rome total war
and they also
Rubble's eyes
This is the tone that I like
I play meat and fuck kingdom
That's right
That's a lot of questions
This is a totally real mobile game
That is a real
That is a real game
Yo how can we haven't gotten any mobile game ads
Isn't that like the only thing that like they'll sponsor anything?
That is kind of weird.
Yeah,
anything but us.
Anything but us.
That is true.
I think that's why.
That is very,
yeah,
it is the diversity.
Yeah,
those are Chinese companies,
bro.
They're like,
oh!
Yeah,
they watched one video and fucking screamed.
Yeah,
yeah.
That is fucking insane.
Oh,
too much.
I'm,
I'm going to go,
go,
go, go,
I was about the,
you already,
you already put your foot in that.
That from Vienna show.
It's got a,
it's got a,
I was like me with that episode yesterday
I went to the colonoscopy center today
this morning
and it's it's in Korea town
Oh wow
Oh man
You came from Korea town?
Yeah
Damn
It was a dude
You're on about early then
I didn't know it was
Yeah I got up
I'm a fucking idiot
I went to sleep at like five
Oh dude yeah
And then I woke up
Something similar
I got like two and a half hours to sleep
Went to the thing
Slept for like maybe
When I got home
I slept for 20 minutes and came
but anyway
then I came in
then I got here
then I got in a car
and got it
I'm actually
I'm actually
true
that's actually
100% cheer
I'm not even front of
anyway
I fucking beat my dick
hard and
insanely
I got I got a
anyway
yeah I didn't know
I was going to be
in Korea town
I didn't know
and I was walking
in the cold hospital
I was like
oh there's just
nothing but
create calligraphy everywhere
yeah
and then
I felt so out of place
like I've never
felt more out of place
I'm in the
It's all like a physician center with a bunch of stuff and went to the GI place and it's just I'm like everyone's looking at me.
That's me when I go play Digimon.
I play Digimon.
I play Digimon.
Oh, yeah?
Whenever I walked around, I see them like they literally move aside and they walk around.
They move aside.
They grab their cars and their cars are like, oh, fuck.
Some piece of shit did that when I parked at the down, no, it was at the LAX.
I went to go pick up Jojo.
And I dropped my ticket.
for the parking.
I was like, oh shit.
And it went by this guy's car
and I was like, I looked at him
and I was like, bro.
Like, bro.
Like, come on, man.
I love it, man.
I love people.
I love people afraid of me, man.
He's just being careful, you know?
I mean, he is being careful.
And that is actually true.
Would you be like, hey, oh.
You know, honestly, I do that to everybody
who approaches my car.
If like my car is empty.
Well, if someone's approaching my car,
no, even if they're just walking past
and I'm just like, I just see legs coming.
I'm like, I hate that.
I don't trust nobody.
I almost.
I felt like jingling his fucking door just for doing that.
There's so many videos just people just being crazy for no reason.
No, you're right.
I can't.
I don't trust my fellow man at all.
I always lock my doors actually as soon as I get in the car,
specifically from watching one of those live pursuits because one of the guys he crashed his car
got out and immediately was trying to open other people's cars.
Yeah.
And that was like, oh, fuck.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I never want to get that situation ever.
What's crazy is that.
Living in Fish School made me not, like, I used to not locking my doors.
You got, you got it.
And it's really bad.
That's never, I never happened there.
I know.
That family that, you know, got burnt alive by the dad.
Well, other than that, nothing else happened.
What is that?
You had moved there and like, oh, wait, some dad burnt his family alive.
What where?
What the fuck?
And like, in D.P.
There's got to be a fucking, double penetration.
Oh, Dutch's Park?
Me?
Where is family alive?
I never heard about that.
Not far from where one of our friends live.
I never heard about that.
You serious?
Yeah.
I heard about that shit.
I was like, oh, this place is crazy.
I know somebody killed somebody on my block.
So underwhelming.
This place is crazy.
Yeah.
I came from the Bronx before that was in the Bronx.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You never killed families, but people, people, you'd kill people with straight people would die.
I was in a small city in Connecticut one time.
I went on tour and they didn't have locks on their front doors.
What are you talking about?
Exactly that.
They didn't have, in where we got to stay with these guys.
They had this cool.
They're this band.
They're, hey, you guys can crash with us.
You know, I don't have to sleep in your van.
And I was like, how do I lock the door?
Like, oh, there's no lock.
I'm like, the fuck are you talking about?
I was like, what do you mean?
There's no lock.
And they just didn't even dawn on them.
Like, well, kind of like, why would you need to walk?
They had a well and stuff.
It was just such a small.
That is not okay.
Was it secluded?
It didn't seem like it.
I don't remember how I got there specifically because it was too long ago.
I would lock my door if I had a house 50 miles away from people.
Right.
Like, I don't, you just.
What the fuck?
Do it.
Just do it.
Why not?
The thing is that when you live 50 miles away from somebody and your door
unlocked open by that person, that means
you're really in serious thing.
Yeah, because they can really
go out of their way to get you. That's what I'm saying.
It's like, you have to kill somebody.
Yeah, but like, well, I got to kill somebody right now
because this person in my home and that's, there's no,
this is a bear, which I see that should happen.
Bears open fucking doors.
They're just in the house, fucking making a stir fry.
I'm like, oh, sorry, my bad, I'll be done like 15.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, yeah, take your time.
What else are you going to do?
You got to tell them to leave?
I ain't got to tell them to leave.
I don't know what you do.
That's what scares me so much.
Whenever people have bears approaching their home,
that door is not going to keep that bear out.
Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta.
We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,
whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI,
coming up with quantum or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
Right?
Yeah.
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with Quantum?
By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.
That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.
All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there.
What's worse?
Being understaffed or being poorly staffed?
Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos.
Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs.
You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for.
Or go a different way and get no traction.
Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire
than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually
interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need
the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. And listeners
of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves at
indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and
apply. Need to hire? This is a job for indeed sponsored jobs.
Like if it wants to get in, it's going to get in. It'll get in if it wants to.
So that's where you got to like hope that the bears a little timid, which a lot of times
they are. Particularly black bears. So you just got to like, you kind of just going to be like,
fuck out. Fuck out. And then I'll be, oh, I guess. Fun, shit. Are you tripping, bro?
All right. Like, just that video. Oh, go ahead. Yeah. I was just going to move on a question.
Yeah, let's do it. All right. Patriot.com slash a Starktank. Remember, you can go there and ask us
questions and we read them on the show if they're really good
and if they're not really good we kill you
yeah bitch that's kind of the penalty
for it if you give us a bad question we
personally come to your dwelling
space we personally arise
first you zealous money for the ticket
crazy zealous money
for the ticket to get to your house
and then we kill you
yeah we kill you yeah so
we've lost a lot of people that way
but you know we got to the families don't check
their credit card tables our numbers
are dwindling
dwindling, but hey.
Listen, once you sign up to our
patron, to our patron,
that's in the fine print.
It actually would benefit us greatly to just kill our
boast. It kind of would, actually,
wouldn't it? Anyway, we love you.
I mean, you know, as reasonably as we can,
as people who don't know you very well.
We appreciate you. The word love is not the right words,
appreciate it. I really do appreciate all you all guys,
because I'm like, this is our, be real for five seconds.
This is my fucking job. And I'm like, holy shit,
this is what I've, this is, I've wanted.
to have a podcast of a job since like 2012.
You're gay. You're gay.
It's awesome.
Born under a pride flag with a gay dick in yo I wrote in.
What is that?
You are asking the wrong person.
This is as new to me as it is to you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It must be like a play on something, but like these people just don't give us any fucking clues.
Yeah, these fine people.
You people.
I love saying that.
LFL offensive it is even when it's like not offensive
You don't know
You guys can't do it
Yeah you did it
You guys can't do it
I've resisted so many times this episode
I forgot
I was out of and I'm a little delirious
So I just kind of normal thoughts are not
Are fleeting me
But now I want to like now it's back
Now I feel like damn what was it
An hour 15
An hour 15
What do you mean these people do
All right
You want to keep reading
For me
For me
His M is a B
It's so fucking funny
You want to keep reading
The names for me
Me
And I want a bunch
Of you
Queer shit
Ew
That was really something
I reverted
I read
All right let's move out
This sounds
This must be terrible
The lizard is it do
Bored under a
Bratwick in your eyes
He says,
Ola Pendejos.
Just wanted to say,
you guys are my favorite podcast,
and every upload from you guys
makes my week a little bit easier to bear.
Hell yet.
Hey, thank you.
We appreciate it.
Now with that shappy shit out of the way,
with all three of you oiled up and naked,
who's winning the twerk off?
Oh, I got it.
Easy.
Yeah, probably.
Easy.
woke whoa
Oh so you're doing the power bottom thing
Supreme
You're doing that power bottom
So you actually know how to work it
Yeah I'm in hey man
I feel like
Happy wife happy life you know
Look so he probably would win
But I feel like if I had practice
I've had like a weak practice
I think I would kill it
A week of practice
The idea of Jojo walking in a dirt
And then I fucking
Twork in a living room
And Jojo is just like
He's like oh this is what black people are like
This is what they're like.
I guess this is okay.
I guess this is what I came here for.
I can't get upset about his culture.
I can't.
You think that's racist.
I just got to be like, good job, honey.
Good job.
Good on you, sweet.
I think I can.
I think if what I think I could.
She would probably think like, oh, so there's something to those covers you're doing.
That's probably what's probably what she would actually think.
You'd probably be like, oh, so there actually is something going on here.
I really don't know if Lily would be okay with if I was like a queer person.
I don't know.
Like, I know.
I know she's not bigoted.
She's not bigoted, but I don't know if she'd be able to be fine with knowing that, you know.
Like, I don't think her heart would be okay with it.
She'd be like, I.
You mean, she's just not comfortable with dating a queer person?
Is that what you're saying?
I don't respect to marry a queer.
A queer.
She says that.
I don't want to live the rest of my life with a queer.
She turns into, she just gets his, like, a sthetic.
I just feel Lily, but she gets like this clothes.
And his, like, mustache like that.
I didn't think I'd be living with her.
queer and then she stays that way would you now would you stay with her dutch lily yeah
this is my wife dutch vanderlilies this is my wife dutch vanderland this is my wife dutch vanderland
give me a little faith kingston i'm like what the fuck little what did you become this i don't know
Like the wet man
You remember the wet man?
You remember the wet man?
Oh my God.
I think I remember you guys talking about the wet man.
It was this voice I would do.
It's not too dissimilar than actually.
It's sort of similar to that, but it's the wet man where he sounds like he talks sounds like
water's dripping from a ceiling.
I can't make that voice anymore at all.
Do you remember?
Do it the best that you can remember
Because it's kind of a weird voice
That I don't even remember
Like the intricacies of it, to be honest
I just remember that it was very much like
They were like
It just sounded very wet, wet water
Disgusting
Let's not do that
Let's not do that
What are you doing?
That's exactly it
Why is it fucking making me nauseous?
Why is that making me nauseous?
Why is that making me nauseous?
It's like, oh, fucking, all right
dancing puddle of pee
A lavish and murder
Anyway
Yeah someone who dances in piss does a lot
Lavish and murder
He's like murdering is like a puddle of a pee
And he's skipping in it
He's got his little
He's got his feet out too
He's getting all the piss
In the pissing in the piss
Oh my God
Zinn Neon wrote it
And he says hey eyes ears and mouth
Do you guys ever find yourself
Wanting to go back to
quote unquote the good old days.
If so, what slash when is that?
P.S., a wolf would draw and quarter ears
before he could get his gloves on.
I don't know who's who.
I don't remember what ears, ears, ears in my mouth?
Am I?
Oh, I'm ears probably because of my earlobes.
Oh, what am I then?
My eyes because I'm blind?
I guess.
And your mouth because, what, you read like a dragon.
Is that it?
What the fuck?
Is that it?
I guess I'm mouth because I don't know I'm loud.
I think it's just like in a silent room.
So without the noise gate.
And sometimes I mess up the noise gate because it depends.
It's a fixed one and I need to adjust it.
But sometimes you have dragon breath, bro.
You're like, it sounds like an angry like, you know when they're in the cave and like you're like and then all of a sudden you hear it.
Before you see the dragon appear, like you hear that you hear it breathing.
That's exactly like there was a.
that I showed on Twitter, I think, before or after the doctor disrespect stuff came out.
Yeah.
I was talking about how like, I mean, we're making an assumption here, but this is a pretty
fair assumption.
I'm usually right about these things, like whatever.
And in the background, you can hear kicks in like,
and people were like, yo, who's breathing in the background?
I thought that shit was the funniest.
I was laughing so hard.
It's tricky to, it's tricky to, because, like, say, so I do two things.
So first I do a noise reduction of just the, the audio noise, right?
Just get that out first.
And then I noise gate, but the problem is it's a little tricky because sometimes you've got to find the sweet spot because if you cut out too much, there are some words that are very low and they will get cut out.
So sometimes, like actually, I remember how to redo the, when we did the Halo theme.
Yeah.
Because it started off really low.
So the noise get cut out the first part.
I was like, fuck.
So I had to redo it.
And then so it's a very delicate thing.
And the problem is doing three hours shows,
you can't fucking sit and listen to every single thing.
So I have to make my best judgment.
Be like, okay, sometimes things might slip in and out.
Like say that,
you might hear some breathing.
It's,
there's people that are better at editing.
Probably have a better solution, but whatever.
Bro, is deep breathing into the mic in this clip.
It was crazy.
You think you'd hear it live?
I can bookmark this and send it to it.
Hold on.
But I am so often casually correct about things that people are viscerally opposed to me on.
Yeah.
And then eventually it'll come around.
I'll be like, yeah.
I will gloat.
I'll be like, yeah, I'm correct.
Oh, my.
Am I breathing that hard?
What's going on?
What I get excited?
Is that your dragon brother?
Am I edging?
Are you?
Are you edgy?
That's so crazy.
You are a fucking dragon.
So it's what, you know, those times, in between the periods of when, sometimes it's so, you don't catch yourself because you're just paying attention to conversation.
But then all of a sudden, you're breathing through your mouth and you, you just, you sound like a dragon.
You, you, there are so much oxygen being sucked in.
Call me Aldwin, bro.
It's, it's kind of a hard thing to get used to, but like, put, like, like,
Because you want to be up to the mic at any moment just to know that like if you're going to talk, you get to, you can be heard.
Yeah.
But like, yeah, try to come.
You got to like, I still kind of don't do this really.
Like I should.
I should do it more.
But like when I'm not talking, I move away.
Yeah.
But like, I usually the best thing I try to do when I catch myself is I just move my head.
Yeah.
So like, because I don't, I don't breathe in my mouth unless I'm completely stuffed up.
But then like I'll try to like move this way.
That's the guy from fucking dead space.
The first one you find, that's just, like, in the corner just, like, trying to make it.
And I'm like, oh, man.
Man, I'm a plasma cutter your eyes, bro.
I'm sorry.
Get out of here.
You're done, bro.
You're cooked.
So I'm working on, I'm playing all my games in order on Steam.
I'm in the, I'm in the seas right now.
So I try, I abandoned Code Vane.
I just couldn't do it.
It's too anime, dude.
It's Dark Souls anime.
And, like, look, it was, like, it was fun for, like,
two seconds, but then...
Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata.
We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM Research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing.
Whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum,
or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point.
when it will mature.
Right?
Yeah.
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with Conton?
By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.
That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.
All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there.
What's worse?
being understaffed or being poorly staffed?
Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos.
Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs.
You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for.
Or go a different way and get no traction.
Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs.
It really is a no-brainer.
Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes.
Less stress, less time, more results.
When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.
And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves.
At Indeed.com slash podcast.
Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now.
Indeed.com slash podcast.
Terms and conditions apply.
Need to hire?
This is a job for Indeed.
deed sponsored jobs.
And then there's like some here's the hot spring and towel.
I'm like, what the fuck is this?
There's this chick that had huge tits that you first meet.
I was like, okay, that's kind of cool.
That's crazy.
How much is this?
Probably not fucking.
Cold vein, right?
Code vein, yeah.
And it's, it's got to be, it can't be more than whatever I bought it for it was less than $10.
There's a sequel.
So you can, you might want to just go on YouTube just to see it.
and then just be done with the fucking game.
But her moobies are huge and they have like the slits through the like the shirt thing.
And I'm like this is so fucking absurd.
Her boobies are her moobies.
Her movies are really big.
I was like I don't like that.
What are you queer?
What are you boobies?
You like women.
You don't like queer.
You don't like maimaries.
You know, mammaries.
Starts all like.
goofy a little bit.
Bamberies.
I'm a big fan of mammary glass.
Wait, what does he say?
I pity fuck your mom, Matt.
Yep.
That's why you're half cow.
Your mom's a cow, Matt.
Your mother is a fat, stupid cow, Max.
Larry Mel is your mom.
You're a fucking beauty.
What's your mom?
This is his neighbor's name.
Peter?
Peter?
Pete.
Pete the pedophile.
Pete the pedophiles.
His name is, no, that's his name.
His name is actually Pete the pedophile.
His name is Pete the pedophist, bro.
Be,
me and Peter have a gay sex.
How's going, Pete?
I'm off to pedophile again.
Well, stay away from Maxie.
And the juniors like my dad.
You stay away from my son.
They're so pleasant about it.
They have like a just a normal fucking neighborly relationship.
Not a chance old goof.
Not a,
You can't protect him from me forever.
He's outside of a goofy movie.
He's outside of Max's window levitating.
He's outside of Max's window.
He's in a tree.
The tree branch breaks.
He falls down.
He gets up.
He runs away.
There's come all over the side of the tree.
That is a plot.
That is the plot of a goofy movie.
That's why he wants to take him on vacation.
To get away from the beat.
And they keep running into beat.
He's chasing him.
Oh, my God.
He's like really like, he's really like,
goofy cannot accurately display his emotions.
So he's really stressed out and really like on edge about the fact that his neighbor is a deeply entrenched pedified.
and he's just trying to get his son away,
but he can't,
he can't sound serious.
Right.
It's just not in his,
but he is.
You stay away from my son.
If you touch Maxley,
I'll fucking skin you.
Yeah, whatever, goofy little bitch boy.
You think a simple knife's gonna kill me, goof.
Ask Maxo.
I was on Epstein's plane.
I'm the first name in the black book, goof.
I wrote the book
I wrote the book
The book was in fact
The gift from me
I cried so hard when Epstein
Killed himself
Neighbor Pete
Crying
Holding a candlelight vigil
In front of a fucking television set
For Epstein
Imagine seeing that
Imagine seeing a candlelight vigil for Epstein
That would be so crazy
He's made a goofy movie
you have a heart attack
That's just not good
Oh God, what are we going to do, Max?
Donald Duck shows up and he goes
Someone should arrest him
No bullshit
No bullshit
No nothing just
Why is nobody called the police
the idea of Donald's speaking
lame English
is insane
like things get so bad
that he's like guys
I think someone needs to do something about this
oh you're just overreacting
I just need to go fishing with my boy
and then fucking
I find you in the background
max his fucking
lying, like, trying to get away from Pete.
And he's like trying to grab his ankles and shit.
He's kicking Pete in the face.
He's doing everything he can.
Oh, Pete, settle down.
Leave my boy alone now.
He's so down those shit.
You stay away from him.
You stay away from him.
He's like, snap.
You stay with my fucking son.
I'll kill you.
I fucking eat you, Pete.
No, that's at the very end of the movie.
That's like the last five minutes.
He just snapped.
Yeah, because like the post credits.
The post credits after.
The most greatest is Pete shows up again and he goes, seriously, stay away.
And then then it ends.
Okay.
And then says Pete will return.
Pete will return.
Oh my God.
How the fuck did we get here?
I have no idea.
I have no idea.
Oh, the good old days.
That is the good old days, though.
That's the old days, dude.
I'm actually wearing a power line shirt right now.
Oh, my God.
What the fuck?
That is crazy.
I don't know if that'll come out.
Oh, yeah.
But that's wild.
The way they did the poor guy
That voice power line was so fucking horrible
Oh yeah
They did it yeah
They didn't yeah
Yeah that's
I saw him doing a
Like probably performing to like 10 people
And like a convention
It was the saddest fucking thing I've seen
He was so talented
They took his knees too
I mean they didn't
They didn't
They really did a homosexual man really poorly
Yeah they took his knees
They did a young black
They kneecapped them with the chariot
You know the chair how they put the kneecapers
On the chariots
They fucking
What the fuck are you
What the fuck?
Yeah, the director of a goofy movie
He was in a chariot like in Gladiator
You know how they put the kneecaps on him
Kneecappers
And he fucking was like oh like hey good job
By the way and then
BOW!
And they took his knees
What happened to him was very fucked up
Whatever I think he was very wrong
I think I quit
I think I'm gonna go
Dang that's crazy
Why you don't like news?
You don't like the news?
What I can't
What's wrong?
What's wrong?
What's wrong?
with what happened?
With what happened?
The fact of the news?
Yeah, a problem with the existence.
You know, we should do,
we should Alex told it one day
and let's start a line about you.
Oh, we should.
Yeah.
We should do like a news report episode,
all about like fake news.
I love that.
This week,
Hallie Barry assassinates
I don't know, the leader of the who.
I don't know,
the leader of the who.
The who?
The who?
The band?
Yeah.
The band are like the Grinch people.
Dice roll.
I don't know.
I'm figuring out. Roll a D20.
Audrey, you've been drug.
She kills all of them.
How many Grinches per capita do you think in the United States?
Exists?
Or like...
I don't...
That's the whole...
Or like...
Like, how many good per capita what?
Like...
I'm simply asking.
It's a dangerous...
That's a...
Because a Grinch is a what.
That's a pipeline question.
What do you mean?
The Grinch is a what?
You know, that there are whose?
No, no, no, no, no.
See, a Grinch is a Grinch.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
A Grinch is a what?
I don't know.
I don't know
A Gritches are what and the who's or who's?
Yeah, actually
Is there a when?
That's now
Is that what a Wendigo is?
No, now is the now is the when.
Who's before?
I think we're getting to the bottom of this.
It's still a when.
Who's how?
I guess a prehistoric who's a when
maybe.
Prehistoric who?
The when.
Have they explored that yet?
Have they done?
It's a whom.
Oh, fuck.
A whom.
And then a Holmes is a wedding that's a little more proper.
And then a woman, a woman who is a whore?
You're really making sense there.
You're really making sense there.
I think, I really agree with that.
Sandy Hook was fake.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I haven't checked out yet?
Him talking about the, yeah.
I watched it.
I bet he believes it.
You know, like I bet he doesn't think it's fucking.
staged. I'm sure
this is exactly what happened. Yeah, they
missed him, but now
a bunch of redneck
Oh, no, I heard him talking about it. He said
that we're going to like try and car bomb him
or send sharks after him or some shit.
They were going to try everything they could
to get him now. They were going to like blow
up his elevator or something, like crazy
stuff. They're going to, they're going to
Zooka sharks. They got the
sharks filled with them. They got the basookas.
They're going to share FK brainworms in his fucking
They're going to set Agent 47 after him. He's
There's going to be dup.
You're not going to be able to stop him.
They're going to send the Power Rangers after him.
The real.
Can you imagine that the deep state sends the Power Rangers to finish the job with Trump?
At a rally.
You see this unfold.
You think, you think, you think that this is just, you think this was Japanese media?
They're desensitizing us.
I've seen them.
Jason's actually a pretty nice guy.
They killed Wishbone, the dog.
The idea of Trump.
Rita made them grow and they killed them.
Rita Rapulsa.
She was a really attractive young woman, dude.
Oh, man, I want a sperm on her.
Outside, outside of all the whole...
Yeah, I want a sperm on her.
Did you say sparing?
Yes.
That's a verb.
Yeah.
You want to...
Outside of her, get up, she was a fucking bad bitch, bro.
Spirming all over the place.
Orter.
You look at you.
I'm sporming all over the phone.
He's spermed where they're laying down where Arthur is dying, it's completely coming down.
He just.
No.
You can see, you can see Dutch's pants are like the wet kind of translucent, and then there's cum falling out of his leg.
Come falling out of the leg.
There's so much sperm on him.
His shoes look like they got dipped and glue.
It's insane.
Ruining that scene is so funny.
There are he ruined.
There's so many people that love that scene.
That's so hard.
And then just putting that...
Do you think like you can see that scene again and take it...
No, I cannot.
I can. I can. It's the beautiful scene.
I can still.
I have to do the bad ending now.
That's all you can do.
I still can't.
Like, I can very much say...
I was like there with Breaking Bad too.
Like, I can still watch Breaking Bad and like completely like for whatever reason.
Yeah?
I notice it, but it doesn't bother me.
But like, that scene might be...
Just that scene.
That scene's too much for me.
There's no way I'm not thinking about...
No.
There's no way.
Fucking queer for me.
me.
You'll stop.
We keep doing it.
Yeah, yeah.
Fucking dutch,
man.
Anyway,
so yeah,
the good old days
were fun,
I guess.
Glad he fucking
fucking...
We never got to
this question.
We never got to this question.
Yeah.
We never answered this question.
Oh,
we didn't even get to the question?
Yeah,
he doesn't give him the chance.
He doesn't give him the chance.
He dies.
The question is...
I hated that.
Do you ever find yourself
wanting to go to the good old days?
I was like,
I guess sometimes.
I reminisce sometimes,
but I feel like
I've,
I've grown so much
in the years of my,
like the years I've grown.
Big deal.
I don't know.
I appreciate the old times
what they were.
Good deal.
That's it.
Yeah.
I mean...
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell,
host of the podcast
Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently sat down
with IBM's chairman
and CEO,
Arvin Krishna.
And I asked him,
how can companies
use AI to its fullest potential
to create smarter business?
My one advice to that.
Pick areas you can scale.
Don't pick the shiny little
toys on the side.
For example.
If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago,
they're already five years behind.
If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive
today, with the goal of being 70% more productive.
Yeah.
Wow.
So we are not asking our clients to be the,
first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our
learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not
technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things.
To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks.
All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being
poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes.
piece for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs.
You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're
looking for. Or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly
on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer.
Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes.
Less stress, less time, more results.
When you need the right person to cut through the chaos,
this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.
And listeners of this show will get a $75-sponsored job credit
to help your job get the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast.
Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now.
Indeed.com slash podcast.
Terms and conditions apply.
Need to hire?
This is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs.
Yeah, I don't know.
I miss my grandma.
That's about it.
I feel that way sometimes.
It's more of a curiosity standpoint for me because I just, I understand that my memory is faulty.
And so because of that, I would be like, yeah, I remember that being cool.
But, like, I wonder, like, I wish I could go back and view it through, like, a modern lens and just see, like, oh, I wonder what that was actually like.
Because I remember the Carvel down the street for my apartment was a pretty fun place to go.
And I went there in 2016 and it was like completely fucked.
It looked like a fallout place
Like it looked like a fallout like store for that you would find like
Still a Carvel though technically
It was still a Carvel
And it was still operational
It was just like the wallpaper was peeling off
It was like stains all over the place
Look grimy as fuck there was like
What if what goes to Carvel anymore really
Well it's it's not anymore is it
I'm talking about the past
Yeah when it was when it was
The fact is an open Carvel there's crazy to me
It's who goes there anymore
Well I don't know this is again
This is outdated in of itself
This is 2024
the last time I went there was 2016, 2015.
I have no idea if it's still there.
But that fudge the will was fucking really good.
But I was thinking about it when I went there, I was like, was it always this fucked or is this like a recent?
Like that's kind of the thing.
It's like I'm really curious about that.
And so like, yeah, I miss some of the old.
I miss that stuff and I would love to be able to like choose to revisit it.
But I wouldn't, I wouldn't necessarily want to go back and then be forced to like live through the rest of it.
I would do that.
Well, I mean, if you could keep your knowledge.
I guess, yeah.
I would even tamper with things.
I would just live through it again.
I'm like,
this is pretty crazy.
But you couldn't really help yourself tampering with stuff.
Yeah,
I would just know more.
That's it.
And I think that knowing more,
but I wouldn't,
I would adjust some stuff,
of course.
I wouldn't,
I would live through things,
but I wouldn't do,
I wouldn't touch outside of my life.
I would go back in time.
Like,
I wouldn't touch lottery numbers.
I wouldn't like,
like Bitcoin and shit.
I don't even know any of those anyway.
I wouldn't do that.
I'd just be like,
I'm going to be here now.
The Bitcoin thing I would totally do.
I would fuck.
You know I'm going to edit that.
You know I'm going to edit that.
Clip that.
I'm going to edit the width.
I'm going to edit the width out.
You're going to fight me, kid.
You understand?
I know how to do an arm bar child.
He's trying to say it.
Throw a punch.
Throw a punch in me.
I'm going to pop your arm out the fucking sock.
That's it.
And I'm going to do that shit.
And all the fucking fights I had to braw or kids are trying to meet me up.
I'm just going to arm bar them and not let go.
If you touch me,
I'm going to take it out.
I would go back in time.
I would go back in time.
I would make Kingston white.
That's it.
That's so much further back than you think.
No, I'm going to inject it with Vidalago or whatever.
With Vidalago, the viral version of it.
Yeah, however, yeah.
When you get to the drugstore and the pill.
I'd be so mad if I was worried.
If that happened, oh, man, that would be one of the most controversial things that would be ever made.
The coloring of white, the coloring of blackness?
Like, if you can, yeah, like straight up just get rid of your image, just be white.
God damn, that would be so controversial.
Oh, my God.
Because then you would get to see all the people who would do the real turncoats.
Then you would get to see.
truly like say all those like grifters and all them are that you would know if they were real
or not.
Candace Owens would just become one.
Look you see.
She would take two doses.
Most of those motherfuckers would be like, okay, so you actually want to be eating and we'd
know and then you know who's just like, oh no, I'm just like there was that one guy.
He was like in the army.
He was pretending to be like, oh.
He didn't be a black person, but he was actually a Middle Eastern person.
No, no, no, not that.
Not that.
What I was saying is there was a guy that went on like conservative Fox News or some shit,
this black dude.
and he was like kind of pretending to agree with them
and then like I think years later
on his YouTube channel was like I was just
fucking grifting he's like I was just doing it just because
I wanted it was like an experiment for him
and I was like oh that's crazy
he just he had like a whole like presentation
of showing like what he was doing
I dream about doing that and it's pretty cool
because it just shows you how easy it is if you want to do it
I would not become a white person I think I like
black stuff you say that now
because you've been doing
You've been a black
So, yes, so long, I guess.
But what if, what if, here's the thing.
What if I went back in time, I made you white somehow?
Like, don't even, don't even hang up.
Hold on, hold on.
And then I let, I let that, what do you mean?
When did I become a white person?
You're born white.
Oh, then I don't know about being a black person.
Right.
So then, but you're still Kingston.
You're, you're the same.
You are, for all the purposes as you.
And the white version of you grows up.
He's like 20.
He's 29.
How old are you?
Are you 30?
I probably be a racist.
And then you, I, I, I, I'm, I,
mentality. I make you meet each other.
I put you in a room with each other.
Black me and white me? Black you and white you.
What does white Kingston look like?
Bond hair, fucking long,
long, unkept.
Can someone please draw that?
Fucking. Someone white him.
Yeah. Don't use that fucking AI shit
because that shit sucks. That shit sucks. It's not good.
I don't know, man.
Somebody draw. Would I be more visibly Hispanic, I guess? I don't know.
Remember what, uh, maybe?
Maybe more visibly Hispanic. Yeah.
When they did like Uncle Ruckus?
when he was dreaming and then like he was white in heaven.
You remember that?
Yeah.
In heaven he was like white.
He's all blonde and she has long like golden locks and shit.
So I imagine you looking like that.
That's why I want somebody to draw you.
Either that or I'll fiver it.
I was going to fire real fast.
Can you draw this guy making him white as fuck?
I don't know what the fuck I would look if I was like if I went back in time and they just made me black.
Yeah.
It's just.
I feel like that sweaty guy that I just posted on my story.
Did you see?
Yes.
I don't know why you posted.
that in the morning, dude.
That video cracks me the fuck up.
I don't know.
It's some guy who's like,
he's like sleeping
and he's sweating in an apartment.
The whole joke is that like
when you're at somebody's apartment
and they're fucking sweating.
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell,
host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's
new director of research,
Jake Gambata.
We discussed his vision
for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM research,
what we always do
is answer what is the future of computing,
whether it's coming up with new algorithms,
coming up with better AI,
coming up with quantum,
or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM
because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience,
the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
Right?
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with Conta?
By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.
That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.
All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there.
What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed?
Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos.
Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for indeed sponsored jobs.
You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for.
Or go a different way and get no...
traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a
higher than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time
actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results.
When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.
And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium
status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast.
Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now.
Indeed.com slash podcast.
Terms and conditions apply.
Need to hire?
This is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs.
Or the AC is broken.
But the way he speaks is fucking...
Oh, the way he speaks?
He's like, yeah, no.
What's the account?
Nas not funny.
Nas not funny.
I follow him.
He's pretty funny guy.
I've watched some of his other stuff.
It's not as far.
That one killed me.
It's like,
oh,
you don't got no,
you got no AC?
When are you going to fix it?
When are you going to fix it?
They go like,
it's not that bad.
No,
it's not that bad.
Yeah,
it's bad.
It's that bad.
It's that bad.
He just seems like it's so authentic,
the weakness of it.
He's authentically weak.
He's genuinely out of liquid.
I ain't say,
oh,
my friend had a new baby.
I really believe that, though.
Like,
like, I feel that.
Like,
I've been in that situation so many times.
When?
When have you been like?
Oh,
me probably.
But that house gave an apartment I lived in before I moved with the guys.
No, the apartment that Joe, Jalen, and Wisk had.
Ooh, the first one.
The first one, that shit was unbearable.
Because I would turn the AC on at night because I was just like, listen, I'll cover you guys.
I'll pay the electric bill straight up because I cannot sleep in this.
You know what's crazy?
You know what I found out was really crazy?
The vast majority of the money that comes up turning on AC and electric,
for AC is turning it on.
If it turned on, you leave it on at a moderate temperature,
you don't pave that much for it.
Yeah.
It's the turning it on and off.
That's the hard part.
Yeah.
It's, I feel like...
So for years, I was lied to about that.
So my thing is, I feel like,
especially when it came to, like, my parents and stuff,
or like my mom,
I just feel like I was lied to in a sense
that it's not as expensive
as they were making it out to be.
Like, the way, this is how I found out.
So my friend...
Even today, when everything is expensive.
Yeah.
It's still like,
My friend would keep his, in the summer, we'd go to his house like almost every day.
And he would keep the AC.
It was just a wall unit.
He'd keep it blasting his apartment all day, the very big guy.
And I was like, God, that must be a fortune.
He's like, I'm fucking like 80 bucks.
80 bucks a month.
And I was like, it's $80.
That's it?
Like, there was in summer.
I was like, that's not that much.
And then so my bill last month was actually about 80 something.
It'll probably be a little bit more because I got a portable AC into the room.
so there's like,
there's two things going on.
So it's going to be a little more,
but I'm like,
as far as being completely comfortable in the summer,
that is well worth the extra money that you'd spend.
Literally for me,
the ones I have,
the ones I have in my house,
you've probably seen the ones I have them.
They're the modern ones that are literally meant to be energy
like energy sound.
Okay.
They're meant for that.
And like at best,
my energy bill is maybe $100 ever at like best.
Yeah, mine might be like,
Because my apartment's old and insulated, like, I just got new windows.
They put in new windows and everything on it.
So now it's a little bit better.
But I would say maximum is probably the 120 bucks.
Yeah.
And that's like between two people.
Like that's all like my mom.
The fact that we grew up with no fucking AC when I'm like, what the fuck?
You easily could have afforded it.
I think it's generally just misinformation.
Misinformation I was given to them probably that like,
oh, I'm having to pay a bunch of money if I do this.
because my grandmother in the Bronx
you didn't have AC
but then we got Central Air
Central Air in general in upstate
it's just a better way to have you
it's better to have it in like an AC unit
sure obviously yeah
because it just circulates through your house
I would rather have that but you know
mine doesn't have that option
dude I remember in like the 90s
early 2000 my parents had this
old AC that was like
had the wood paneling on it
I had that in my room
and that was the best air conditioner
I have ever experienced
like that shit made it snow
a window you want
Put it in a small room is the fucking...
Well, specifically the older ones, because the older ones were just like,
we're just gonna make it fucking freezing.
Like, there was like no...
There was no care at all.
It wouldn't stop at 60.
It was going to like 32.
It was just cold.
You could go, like, there wasn't even like numbers.
It was just on, it was just off or cold.
And I swear to you, like, there were periods of time when I'd walk into my room and I think
it would be like maybe like 50 degrees.
And it was amazing.
Especially in the summertime, dude.
You just run into a cold room
Oh my God
Yeah
After like sick
Is that's happy before
No dude
I definitely went outside
And played a bunch
When I was fucking
Like younger
And then I went inside the house
And it's cold
And I got sick
Because I was sweating so much
And I was in a freezing room
That is a way to get sick
It's very true
I feel like my electric bills
Like the fucking high though
Like the doing the gym
I mean
Oh yeah
Well yeah
It's true
But it's not
It's not as much as you think
I think
I think we're very much
So have this idea
Like oh we're using
So much energy
It's like
I don't think it's...
Well, no, I've seen it shot up since I started doing the lights.
Oh, I'm sure.
I mean, it's whatever.
I'm sure it has, yeah.
I don't even look at it really at this point because it's just like...
I'm not going to write that off here.
I'm not going to...
I can, but it's also like, I need my...
I don't know.
I don't make bones about stuff that I need to do.
You know what I mean?
The lights need to be here.
So, like, whatever it is, like, yeah, it's expensive.
But, like, I mean, so?
Yeah, you got to...
Like, I'm not going to not do it.
So, who cares?
Same thing about, like, caring about, like, your fucking your guy.
Latter's like, whatever, I have to have to use it.
Yeah, it's just, and it's a little for, to be comfortable.
Like, I don't, I don't understand.
Like, I've lived with people where did they, oh, it's, it's a hundred degrees.
Now let's finally turn it on kind of a thing.
And I'm like, why?
Why didn't you?
It's like, if you just don't fucking eat fast food for the week, you'll cover that.
It's like the entire, sorry, for like the month.
I mean, if you, you would cover probably a entire summer's worth of AC.
And we're talking about people that are not destitute, people that are like not really
struggling. Obviously, some people are struggling really by situations
that like, hey, that's understandable.
But you know what's crazy about that, though?
Because, like, people that are
in those situations,
they also, they use
a lot of their money irresponsibly
in a way that they're doing things like,
I'm gonna go to fucking Starbucks. I'm gonna go
to, like, the shit that they know they shouldn't be doing.
Because I did it. When I was
my warehouse job, making like,
what, a nine bucks an hour or some shit back in 2007,
I ate at Taco Bell
like fucking at least three times.
times a week.
And like,
because I would go for lunch
or at the lunch truck,
I'm like,
if I would have made my
fucking meals,
how much money would I say?
You know what I mean?
It's shit like that.
Anyway.
That's how I think now,
dude.
I'm like,
I'd just rather have
home cooked food way more off
than not.
Yeah,
it's number one,
it's better,
obviously.
And then you just
save so much fucking money.
It's crazy.
Splish,
splash.
I was gaping his ass
rod in.
Very cool.
He's,
Hey,
Cringe gay,
some whack guy and top,
top sweet cheeks.
Some whack guy.
How dare.
Dang, my was actually nice.
Yeah.
Sweet cheeks.
Do you little freaks
have any interest in doing a separate show
slash segment, maybe just extra ammo,
dedicated to politics?
It's very interesting to hear you guys talk about
Diane Stein Feinstein's corpse and RFK Jr.
doing the reading for his audiobook.
He seemed reluctant to dive into politics sometimes.
I mean, I'm reluctant to dive into politics
because I just don't really spend time researching
and like I don't have like documents in front of me
so I don't want to talk on shit
I have the documents
You see his desk
because it's like a bunch of papers
Yeah what the fuck is it more clear
Some of shit of empty papers
I've seen everyone on his desk
I'm like what the fuck are you talking about
It's like John Stewart
When he just has papers there
My favorite thing is like on the John Stewart
He's like because it is real papers
But like he just scribbles all over it
You start doodling instead
I noticed that in the most recent thing
Or one of the more recent things he did it's like it's just covered in scribbles
Yeah
I think I'm pretty sure there's a
penis on it. It's the funniest thing. I love it. But yeah, I mean, I don't see a point in making a
specific show for it. Like, we just dive into it whenever it's necessary or whatever it's like
funny or relevant and then we, you know, right. I prefer to make more jokes out of it. But like,
you know, sometimes you got to talk about it. I can't avoid it. I think a political conversation is
very good. I think they're often useful. I actually know, like they're useful at all. I think I think,
I think they are, but the happens is that you're, you're, you guys are dated. That's why you're
super dated. I'm not dated. I just see the world. And it makes sense. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I
I actually, I'm not, well, I, I'm jaded in general, but as far as actually having a political show, I've thought about it many of times, but it was in the same thing. In the same vein is, who do I do it with? It was basically that because the, you know, this show, I was like, okay, we got, we have this show. With this show's locked down, we have our extra thing. I think that's cool. The only other thing I was thinking of like, oh, well, we fucking, maybe we'll stream somebody once in a while. But like, as far as doing a political show that's tied to this, like, I. I think that's, like, I think that's. I. I'm not. I. I
I'm like, it doesn't make sense to me.
The thing about political shows you need people with different views, and that's the problem.
No, you don't.
I feel like, I feel like for the best, the best interact.
I think those are terrible shows, to be honest.
Really?
Yeah.
I think, um, the thing is that this is the thing, they can't be like people that have, like,
it can't be like a fucking Trumper in like one of us.
Because that's just going to, that's going to lead to nothing.
To me, it's, it's somebody with like, like, I just like, relatively conservative values that isn't a psychopath.
I just what, like, say, when I'm watching, uh, so, so this is what, like,
The show I've been watched
For it
Okay here we go
Reset
I watch
I've been listening
This podcast
Cognitive Dissence
Since 2012
Actually
Chris you might have
Seen one of the guys
Because he got into an argument
With Sargon
And like the first
MythCon
It was the one before I went
It was there was one before
There was a guy that got thrown out
Because he got into an argument
With Sargon
He was like
You're a fucking asshole
You're this, that
And I was like
I mean
Yeah I guess so
But I was like
I was like crazy
I know this guy
He had a
Dargon did a debate with this guy named Thomas Smith, who was friends with those guys that I'm mentioning right now.
He used to just read the Bible as a podcast. It was called Thomas in the Bible. And then he did Thomas in the Quran. And so he was kind of an asshole because he was like one of those SJW types. But I like their content. And same thing with this guy, Tom and Cecil. These guys Tom and Cecil from A Con of Dissinence. I like their show. They're very like-minded with very little nuances. One of them's more like, you know, angry and like kill him.
wall type thing one of them's more reasonable but they're very they cover things very reasonable they
always cover the citations whenever they make a mistake they talk about on the next show i've been
listening to them consistently consistently since 2012 and i would love to do a show like that just
feeling like a contribution and the thing is it's just well like my problem is i didn't really i never
really took advantage of networks and connections i'm very hello hello i'm malcolm glabwell host of
Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbeta. We discussed
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I'm very like, I don't...
Gay.
Yeah.
I mean, kind of, yeah.
It's just one of those things where I just didn't take advantage of like, oh, I technically, I'm acquainted with so many people, but I never talk to them.
Right.
And that's just like me being stupid technically because you should.
You should talk.
You should befriend people.
For sure.
You should keep up with people.
It's a business, man.
I just don't do it.
Yeah.
But like, you know, we even talk.
I mentioned Lyle where like he reached out to be a couple times.
I'm like, you know.
And then every once in a while.
I like creators.
That's the thing.
I don't really like most consigators.
Yeah,
I understand.
A lot of,
a lot of them,
like my friends are my friends,
obviously,
you know,
like I'm friends with like Mick,
Lyle,
uh,
I'm cool with,
uh,
Jack.
I'm friends with like me,
my friend and we know Jonathan Young.
Like they're,
they're our friends,
you know.
Yeah.
But like,
I don't,
I feel like so many consens creators have sucked.
There's some like me looking in on them that I'm like,
I don't really,
I mean,
realistically speaking,
it's just because people suck.
That's true.
You know,
It's kind of like when people are talking about how, like,
how many got there's so many pedophiles in Hollywood,
and it's like there are a lot of pedophiles.
Like, I don't, they would probably be very distressed
if they knew how many were just like in their family.
Even if it was just one.
Statistically, I mean, like, dude,
there's a lot of people in people's families.
Like, I mean.
Yeah, a lot of rugs, things being swept on the rug too.
Yeah, I mean, you know.
That's just crazy, dude.
Yeah, I actually met somebody, geez, somebody who was in,
before I nuked my discord because I was just like,
Like I hate Discord.
Like somebody was talking about, you know, something happened to her.
And then her family was like, you know, because they was connected to the family.
And I was like, I have directly.
You don't want to ruin Thanksgiving.
Yeah.
I have directly called out and threatened people like that in my family.
And I'm like, I don't want, I don't ever want to see you again.
Right.
And my grandma was like, you're right.
You're just a 200 plus pound man.
And you can do that.
I can't.
I'm old and tiny.
And I was like, all right, grandma, I got you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's like, oh, don't ruin the family.
Don't do this. It's, it's, it's, I hate how prevalent is in black and Latino family.
Yeah. It's, it's everywhere. It's, it's everywhere. And I guess I'm around people.
was mostly of my ethnic background, so I guess is why I say that.
Yeah.
But like, dude, it's like, don't do that.
Like, that's your, that's your, that's your uncle.
And it's like.
Yeah, that's what?
Remember the big story?
And then, like, I want to put it back to the thing, but I just real quick,
do you remember that story of that, that 10-year-old girl that got raped and impregnated?
She had to travel to Ohio or something because in her state that she lived in,
abortion was like, like out.
Like, you couldn't, they were like.
Oh, yeah.
And then they found it.
You're supposed to say essayed, by the way.
I, I don't allowed to speak like a person.
I will kill you so hard.
I'll kill you hard.
Dude, I'm seeing that shit bleed out into other things where it's unnecessary.
I'm seeing that bleed into conversation.
And I'm like,
and that really pisses me out.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you,
is your mouth going to get demonetized?
I'm sorry.
Are you not going to make money off of this conversation?
Like,
why are you censoring yourself?
I saw a guy,
this guy,
a mortal technique.
Oh my God.
He used the word unalived in the,
in the,
Instagram,
where you don't make any money.
He's not making him, but there's no monetize.
They took the monetization thing out unless you get like gifts or whatever.
Yeah.
But as far as wrapping up money.
I know why he said that because of the fact that they would ban.
They could, people can report and have his page ban.
The thing that bothers me.
I agree.
Here's the thing.
The thing that bothers me about a lot of that stuff is that there are already alternative
ways to say these things that aren't dumb.
Like when you say people say like, oh, um, suicide or whatever.
You can't say suicide.
But then they go like self unalive.
It's like, bro, just say you off himself or something.
They say office or they took their life.
They took their own life.
That is the one of the most obvious things.
Why did unalive become a thing?
Why?
Because of the social media.
And then S-A.
Dude, you're not going to get pinged for saying sexual assault.
You're not.
Even on YouTube,
you're not going to get sex.
That's the thing that pisses me off.
They're just doing it for no-
It's the change.
It's the change in language.
I understand it's stupid, but it's fucking.
It's a stupid bullshit thing that came from YouTube and it carried into other conversations
because people are stupid.
And one thing that essay pisses me off the more.
I think it's actually kind of funny.
Stephen A. Smith. So, you know, in basketball, it's always the two initials is a lot of people's name. So if you're, if you're named Derek Rose, some people might call you like DR or something like Alan Iverson, AI. So Stephen A, they call them essay. And Stephen A. Smith, they call him essay. And I'm like, now it's just in my brain that his name is sexual assault. Sexual assault Smith. This is first take. I'm sexual assault Smith. And this is first take, baby. So fucking stupid.
He makes me laugh so much.
His hairline is made me laugh for years.
His hairline is at the middle of his fucking.
He's a czecho shit, gang.
He's a fucking, a commentator.
He's on ESPN.
He's like, God, he makes like 20, 30 million a year.
It's crazy.
He makes so much fucking money.
I've seen this guy.
Yeah.
He's from New York.
It's pretty crazy.
Of course, he's from New York.
The way he talks.
It doesn't look as bad as I was expecting it, to be honest with you.
It's a die-hard Knicks fan.
It looks silly, but it doesn't look.
Because they suck.
The Knicks haven't been good.
so long. They got so close
to advancing in the, because they, you know, they made
the playoffs. They're probably going to do better this
coming season. I feel like New York is just resting
on their laurels of just like being the main character
of like the United States where they're just like, we don't really
have to try. Yeah. Our Yankees, like
whatever. They tried with Brooklyn.
They, and basketball and it was
the biggest disaster ever. When you
had three of the most
like, Kyrie Irving. I feel like
Kevin Durant.
And, um, um, um,
Thompson, right Clay?
What the fuck?
Was Clay's how?
No, but it was the beard, James Hardin.
Hardin, I guess, yeah.
Just them three alone, you're like, how are you not winning a championship?
I feel like I've seen the Stephen A Smith guy.
I feel like I've seen him talking about like.
He talks, every once in why he talks about politics.
But I've seen him talk about like whether or not Vegeta can beat like.
Yes.
So he has a new, he has a podcast now.
It used to be called, he had a gay name.
It used to be like no mercy, but it would all first, it would say like no, like the K.
But then it had in these brackets like the N-O.
It was like no mercy double on tonne.
Like he believed she lied or.
Yeah, yeah.
It was called no mercy.
And I was like, what a gay name.
And then everybody else thought that because then a few episodes in, it's just called
the Stephen A. Smith show now.
Because they're like, yeah, maybe for search purposes too, for the SEO, you just want
to call it your name and podcast.
For sure.
Not call it fucking no mercy.
What the fuck is that?
Anyway, Joe, he does that.
Every once it became popular where he'll answer questions.
It was like Vegeta versus somebody else.
They now ask them, it's all about that now.
like Pokemon, he's done multiple Pokemon ones
and they go viral because it's funny
seeing this guy that has no idea what any of this
shit is. He's got to look it up a little before he's in.
He's like, you gotta look up a little bit before
it's like, needlegrass Tyson talking about
shit, he has no clue talking about. He's like,
dude, I want to talk about stars and stuff. Pussy.
What is? He knows the pussy is.
Alopecia. He fucked a ton.
Alopecia on my pussy. He was like, you saw him in high
in college? Yeah, he was a wall, dude. And a
fucking wrestler, you've got pussy for sure. Alipisha, what?
Elipa on my what?
Alopee shot my pussy
Call me Jada Pink Cunt Slit
Ruynes his boys
Which is worse
The NYPD or the LAPD
NYPD
NYPD
Huh
I guess you guys have
I don't have that experience
To get by a crazy margin
Because shit
The shit that happens
In New York
Is the nature
What's made them so fucking
dumpy
Interesting
LAPD is just corrupt
NIPD is corrupt
And also they have to
deal with bullshit
That exacerbates their wild nature
I would say
They're also
The amount of money
that they make and that they siphon from the communities is there it's crazy how much money those
motherfuckers LAPD is famous for doing LAPD is more famous for doing that shit because of the fact that
like you see it so often like oh drug bust and 54,000 dollars is found and it's like these drug lords
only had $54,000 wow this this cop's wife got a new car two days ago too yeah yeah it's so it's like I
is the nature of where New York is.
That's why.
NYPD's worse.
So much shit happens there, you know.
It's the, I mean, I have no stake in this.
I, okay, if it's worse, then like, I, look at.
I mean, I don't know.
Like, I could believe that.
I think the thing is like, you know, I think because of 9-11 and just the fact that, like,
New York is ostensibly, like, the unofficial capital of this fucking, it's kind of like how,
like, Albany is the capital of New York, but, like, it's not, like, it is, but, I mean,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
No one's going to attack Albany.
right you know
New York's kind of like
that is a big place
and so like they're thwarting
all sorts of shit all the fucking time
did you remember that
do you remember they found the car bomb in
Times Square or whatever
it was like 2013 14
something around there yeah
but they found like a car was like oh we got it
and you're like oh what the fuck okay
they're just chilling around
but it exacerbates their fucked up nature too
that's why they're so because they're calibrated
for like crazy threats
Yeah.
And so like some guy like steals a bagel.
And then they're like, they send a fucking lion after him.
It's fucking insane.
They send a dog with metal teeth and fucking a gun on his back to him.
And a dog activates the gun.
They have a lion unit.
They have a lion that they drop lions with drones on to people stealing a bagels.
A lion coming down in the air at you.
Dude, grab it.
It's like a P&G like growing.
That's great.
It's insane, dude.
And the way they...
Your cops are fucking horrible, bro.
Especially in New York City cops.
They're fucking terrible.
Glad I haven't encountered any, so...
Yeah.
Fucking terrible.
I...
I think I just have no...
I encountered cops more in New York City
just because you just see them more.
If you're in a place that's walkable,
you're just going to run into more cops.
Also, in New York, I was driving a lot more
because I had a car.
And so, like, I don't really have a lot of
examples of, like, run-ins
with LAPD.
It's the nature of the beast, dude.
Like, like, they're not even like, I think they're not even consciously really fucked up,
but there's so much underhand training terrible shit that they've fucking,
they're brainwashed and scared.
Yeah, literally.
You kind of have to be.
You have to be brainwashed at least a little bit to do like a,
dude,
your average person is like,
you can't just throw a random person into like a war zone or like a,
or like a situation where there's like that level of heightened conflict
and expect them to like act reasonably.
I bet a lot of those people are also.
ex-military. Oh, for sure. Yeah, I bet. Especially on that side. They're like, oh, send the most
fucked up loony ones over there. So the two cops in my family that are cops, they are ex-military,
Marines and freaking Air Force. Literally.
Sweating, waking up, sweating at night.
When they got back from wherever it is, they went, they went from, or they came from,
that they could have just, you know, relaxed and be cared for by the fucking country.
And acquired a job that they were promised to do in the contract they signed. Remember they sign those
little contracts? And they were like, oh, yeah.
we'll give you this pension.
We won't let your house go into foreclosure.
And then he's like, no, that doesn't happen.
Wow, dude, it's crazy.
It's so cool how it's crazy.
It's how my grandma had to fight for my granddad's pension that he earned.
It's funny.
Come on.
He earned that.
That's crazy.
This guy went to war and he thought he was going to get something out of it, but he got crippled and sad.
And now he doesn't have it.
What do you mean?
It's funny.
Come on.
What the fuck?
You don't see it like you were in it?
Come on.
Dude, it's hilarious.
Fucking crazy, dude.
Low.
Getting a V-A shit is crazy, bro.
Dude, the fight for it is insane.
And I'm like, what the fuck, dude?
I was like, why do you guys still do this?
Are you not aware?
Why do you keep?
I like my friend.
I like, I don't have paths, man.
They don't have paths, man.
Some people just don't have another path.
Dude, I was going to do it.
I was going to as well, dude.
I thought about it as well.
Because I was just like, well, fuck.
I mean, I don't know.
It's a pension.
And my thought was like, we're not going to like.
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research.
Jake Embatta, we discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,
whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI,
coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
Right?
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with Conton?
By 2020.
will build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.
That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing,
visit IBM.com slash quantum.
All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there.
What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed?
Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos.
Either way, just say to yourself,
this is a job for indeed sponsored jobs.
You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for.
Or go a different way and get no traction.
Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs.
It really is a no-brainer.
Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes.
Less stress, less time, more results.
When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs.
and listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit
to help your job get the premium status it deserves
at indeed.com slash podcast.
Just go to indeed.com slash podcast right now.
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Like what the fuck's really going to happen?
Like I just kind of like bet on the fact that like nothing would happen
and then I could like write out 20 something years in peace
and then just kind of collect a good pension.
get really fucking fit, you know?
Like, I don't know.
There's reasons why you would do it.
But like, especially if you just don't have
do many prospects.
In New York, there just wasn't really,
I wanted to do game design,
and there just wasn't anything in New York.
And then, like, I saw,
I found a school in like,
Washington.
It was DigiPen.
It's where portal was made, actually.
But, uh, I forgot to switch the camera was.
But we could,
wait, they just, I couldn't afford to go there.
So I was like, okay, well, what the fuck?
I guess I'll go, I'll go to the military.
And then my dad was like, no.
No.
he wouldn't let me do it but like he says hey you don't got to do that I mean what are you
I did I did that why are you gonna reenlist same they gotta stay here in Vietnam with me
same thing my grandpa said my grandpa my cousin that once Afghanistan and fucking died
my grandpa was like I did this so we don't have to do this yeah there was already a
Jameson that did that I did it for fucking like 25 years and he was like nah grandpa I think
it's really I want to call that one off the country and he was like dude right bro
don't do that
And what I did he went out there
And got blown the fuck up
And it's like
Yeah
My dad was in the military for so long
My youngest step sister
I saw a
What it was it called like
An ad
It was an anti-military thing
It was her friend
And that dude
His IED
It is fucking
Actually it was a roadside bomb
And he doesn't have an arm
Anymore
So he did one of his things
Like he's talking
And starts zooming out
And it shows like his missing arm
That was already enough for me
I'm like
Fuck that dude
Like, why would you?
That's not worth it.
What happens if you're in a military family,
that shit is very much so ponging your brain.
It's you're like, oh yeah, my grandpa, my dad, my uncle was a hero.
I want to be a hero too.
And it's like, but it's black people.
Dude, you know how our history with the fucking military.
How we're like, oh, we're going to go there and they're going to shoot us like people afterwards.
And then we come back and it's like, I mean, we just look.
No.
When you look at the most historical, look at any World War II footage that is documentaries,
Netflix, whatever.
the amount of black people you see on there is like
it's slim and there was so many of us
at war for america especially in the Pacific
and uh
Pacific and up in up in freaking what's called you don't see
very many well of course when after World War two
but I'm talking about during World War II
even and this is one thing that I actually and I understood why Battlefield
5 did what they did they're like we want to tell a different
a few different stories because they even showed like say the
you know the French that colonized
you know African Africa
they used a lot of soldiers from Africa
and so they did a
segment in the in their
campaign mode
showing those dudes
they did uh
some Norwegian shit like it was actually
I was like when you get past all this
shit storm of the what was it the woke
whatever they were accusing them of
I was like I was actually kind of cool
did they did this I didn't really enjoy the game
but like I just thought it was kind of cool
that they did that yeah
perspective the same
see that. Yeah, I'm like, oh, here's some shit that they don't, you know, just never fucking see it.
I guess it was very weird. I think, I think the military is a very insane concept. I think the,
well, the people still go there and they do it, you know, and I still respect people that go on there and do it.
I think national guards cool. I get it. National defense makes sense. Like, I get why.
It's perfect sense to me. I think it's just like, dude, just take care of your people when they come back.
It's like a really simple fucking solution, really. It should be the, the literally, the bare minimum.
It's literally the bare minimum. The fact that like, should never have to work again if you, if you, if you fucking. But,
Every single person I know.
Every single person I know that's in the military has had to put a bullshit that deal with.
Some bullshit.
There is something.
All of them.
Every single one.
I don't know a single person.
That doesn't.
So I'm like, yeah.
You're your fodder.
It sucks.
All right.
Yeah.
What we got?
There's two more.
And then we'll wrap it up.
Hell yeah.
First, there's a key, David, uh, featuring the corpse of that fool that tried to kill Trump
without, without a silver bullet.
He's a werewolf.
Could you imagine?
Probably.
Oh, no.
I'm changing.
I'm a wary time
That's what, dude
That's what happened
When you see him do that that bit
It was like, ah
And then like you just look closely
You see the hair sprouting
It's it
Oh my god
That was fucking genuinely scary
That actually made me feel like
I was like
I should run
Danger
I'm in danger
What's going on?
Raur
Probably be the most stupid
fucking one off ever
Yeah he would
He's still on a banana
People go straight through a tree.
You ever see that movie Teen Wolf from the 80s?
Yeah.
Like his dad.
His dad looks so fucking goofy.
His dad was such a cuck wolf, bro.
Cuck wolf is crazy.
Cuck wolf.
That's a baby.
He's a beta wolf.
He's a beta wolf.
I love it.
I want to start a band call because a new,
there's a new metalcore band called Alpha Wolf.
And they're like, oh, we're fucking, yeah, I'm going to be beta wolf.
I'm actually, I'm going to start like, and I'm going to take all of their titles and just change him ever so slightly.
Make him a little weak.
Your album cover could be just.
photos of destiny.
I forgot that shit.
I'm just playing kind of sort of.
Yeah, whatever.
I'm just playing.
I'm just playing.
I actually like that he's kind of going off on these people, to be honest with you.
But.
Yeah, they deserve it.
Sure.
Yeah, I'm kind of like, yeah.
Sure.
Keep going.
But it's.
He got banned for it.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
It is crazy.
The hypocrisy of that is crazy.
Like, dude, there's people run around on kick with like,
guns and like they're actual pedophiles on kick just making like literally
sneaky like straight up pedophilic comments being racist toward people that's
Sudani being racist those people that are fucking from the came like like just just shit that is
straight up fucking racist sure yeah of course cancel culture did like the whole the whole
the whole thing about like oh the left wants to censor you and the right doesn't so insane
it's it's like the earliest instinct of this that I can remember is like the dixie chicks
when like the fucking when all all all all they did was protest bush literally they were like i don't agree with what bush is doing
and then they were like fuck the dixie chicks and they fucking ripped them off the air they got mad at them when they ruined their careers
they changed their name to the chicks and then they're like but you see either older people know that and are dishonest or younger people don't know that
and they just assume that this is like this is like this came out overnight he's like oh well the left does it so we should do it's like no you fucking
this is so old it's crazy they all have it i mean it's just
It's been cognitive distance from the very beginning.
They swear that their side doesn't do it.
It's like so sta.
They think they're warriors.
I saw the craziest comment today.
Yeah.
Where somebody was like,
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata.
We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM research, what we always do is answer,
what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with
better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience, the culture of.
building hard things that others have not done before.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
Right?
Yeah.
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with Conta?
By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.
That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of
computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.
All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there.
What's worse?
Being understaffed or being poorly staffed?
Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos.
Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for indeed sponsored jobs.
You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're
looking for.
Or go a different way and get no traction.
Seriously, sponsored jobs post a job.
directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a higher than non-sponsored jobs.
It really is a no-brainer.
Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes.
Less stress, less time, more results.
When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs.
And listeners of this show will get a $75-sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast.
Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now.
Indeed.com slash podcast.
Terms and conditions apply.
Need to hire?
This is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs.
It was a conversation about Destiny like mocking the dead guy and like whether or not that was okay.
And somebody said, Destiny made jokes at the expense of a dead man.
Toying with a dead body is a crime.
It is illegal.
And that's why it's not okay.
And that's why I got banned.
That is authentically.
the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my entire life,
sincerely.
I probably would push that person in,
like,
if they were in front of me,
I think I would like push them down and then walk away.
Because like that's the Mega Man thing.
Yeah,
it would be like that,
like just fucking Dr. Lydol,
hypnotized,
throwing roll on the ground and walking away.
That is,
because it's just,
shut the fuck up.
You don't believe that.
You don't believe that.
You don't believe that.
No one believes that.
I just wish people could just be honest,
what they believe. Like, dude, just, if you agree
if you just want, look, if you want
Destiny Band, just because like, hey, you know what, I don't like him.
I don't like him. Just be honest about it. Right.
Don't like fucking bend over backwards. Yeah, be petty.
Like, own the pettiness. Dude, I'm so petty, dude. It's crazy.
Well, I've done some petty shit. And the same thing where it's like,
I don't feel. I'm not, I don't think I'm a pretty person at all.
I can be. I have the capacity for pettiness. You want to talk about petty because
like one of the reasons why people didn't want to make fun of the assassination,
everything that happened is because, oh, the guy that died. But like, the thing is,
it's say, you want to talk about petty.
I'm like, well, most of the people there, like, if you talk to them in real life,
it probably seemed like nice and decent and chill.
But in reality, their ideology, them being at that fucking rally, you got to think of what type of person they are.
Personally, this is me just talking about myself.
I don't go to fuck about any of those people there.
Those people are actively helping the country being fucking ruined.
I don't care about them.
So when those people are less, I'm like, oh, all right.
Like, you know, and people are like, that's so mean, but I'm like, guys, I care.
and people would be wealthier, they'd have health care,
everybody would be better off if those people expired.
Not even expired, right?
What happened is that those people are ignorant, right?
Very most majority of them are ignorant of them are ignorant.
There's a lot of them that are grifting that are fucking absolute monsters.
The people at the,
the people are often ignorant people.
They're not grifting.
They're mostly ignorant people that are that they want to do better in their lives.
They're probably truly not evil people.
Well, he's not.
No, they're stupid.
They're ignorant people, right?
They're stupid.
They're more than ignorant.
It's a shame.
It's a shame that anyone lost their life.
Unfortunately,
similar to anyone lost their life.
But at the same time,
for them to act like if this shit didn't happen to the opposite side,
they would not have a celebratory stance.
Right.
It's fucking preposterous.
Right.
That is the part that I can't fucking stand.
That is the core frustration with me.
And like,
and people on Twitter are fucking all over saying.
And I'm like,
you guys need to suck the fattest cock.
Because I know it's one the other end,
you guys are.
be like, well, it's when they deny it, though.
That's the thing that pisses me off.
When they deny it.
Because even though there's the examples.
Yeah.
They'll deny, no.
The insulting of the intelligence is crazy.
It's just like, dude, I can see your Twitter account.
I saw, I can go back and see what you said about the club cue shooting.
I can go back and see what you said about Paul Pelosi.
I can go back and see what you said about all these, all of these examples.
And it's all equally as fucked.
So just like either you want to make, either you're okay with that kind of thing and you can disagree with it.
obviously I'm going to feel differently about like whether or not somebody on my side gets fucked over versus the other side.
Obviously, yeah.
But I'm not going to like if somebody makes a joke about it.
I'm not going to act like I don't do that also.
And that's what bugs me about it.
Like whatever.
Like I hate the fucking warrior as stance they take to that fucking like, oh, we're fucking alpha male shit.
It's like this happens in there bitching and crime.
Dude, it's fucking preposterous to me.
Of course it.
Not to mention the dude that did it with a trusty weapon that we.
been trying to get rid of for fucking ever.
Yeah.
For fucking it's, I, dude, I am, I stay away from politics because I know when I was
paying into it to it, it was making me insane.
Yeah.
And literally it's making me insane again.
Sure.
And it's, I try my heart.
Like, I was reading through fucking part 225.
And some of the shit I was seeing was making my soul burn.
I felt like Johnny fucking storm.
Yeah.
I was like, I'm sweating on fire.
I can't listen to this.
Yeah.
And seeing all the people on Twitter,
being like, I've been ostracized for my right-leaning views.
It's like, and people are getting ostracized for being homosexual every fucking day
and fighting for their lives.
And you're going to play victim right now.
Yeah.
Of course they are.
It makes me so upset because it's so disingenuous.
That's what gets me.
I almost didn't see.
It is the disingenuous is that really like pissing up.
Like I don't even care.
Like, I really genuinely like sincerely from the bottom of my heart, I really don't care
how you feel as an individual.
Like I really could give a fuck less.
Like on some, I'll have a lot.
line obviously, but like, at the very least, just own it, dude.
Just own it.
Why hide?
Why hide?
Because they can.
It's Twitter.
Like you got like one of your freaks running the platform.
What is even the incentive to hide?
It's because they can.
They can, they, it's one of those things where it's so lame.
It's the problem with the internet where if you talk to any of these people, it's just like
all the street interviews I see.
I kind of don't like watching them, but at the same time I watch them because there's
some value in it and seeing how people behave in social settings in real life where these same
people exist out.
They'll say something just as absurd as all that shit.
And when you confront them immediately, they can't run anywhere.
They can't just like a lot of times people, what they do, they glaze over the response,
the reply.
They don't even pay attention to what the fuck you said because they're not interested.
Right.
So when you confront them in real life, they can't hide from it.
And a lot of times they have to concede.
Or they're going to fucking walk away like a weirdo.
which doesn't usually happen.
It's usually just like...
They offer violence because that's the fucking nature of people being
fucking ignorant.
See, that is such a rare occurrence in real life versus like online somebody saying
some crazy wild shit like, oh yeah, I'll do this or whatever.
And so that's why I feel like it's pretty useless engaging with people online.
I don't do it anymore.
You can't earnestly do it anymore if you ever could, you know.
And I think really...
I think you can have a discussion with people, but it can't be V.
But they have to be reasonable in the first place.
It can't even be, I don't even think it can be, like, it needs to be, like, in person, too.
Like, like, if it's going to be valuable at all, like, I just, I don't buy this whole Discord thing or, like, just like people having to be.
Because it just, I don't know if it changes really anybody's mind, really.
Like, anybody who believes the things they believe is not going to, like, this.
And the problems that it's.
The sides that are fighting right now are just so diametrically opposed in such a way that, like.
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of.
research, Jake Mbeta, we discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's
coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with
just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
Right?
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with Conton?
By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.
That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.
All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there.
What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed?
Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos.
Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed,
You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for.
Or go a different way and get no traction.
Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs.
It really is a no-brainer.
Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes.
Less stress, less time, more results.
When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs.
And listeners of this show will get a $75-sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast.
Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now.
Indeed.com slash podcast.
Terms and conditions apply.
Need to hire?
This is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs.
It's not even like it used to be a long time ago where it's just like there was like a kind of like subtlety to a lot of politics.
No one's really in the middle in the way that they think they are.
are people who are in the middle are just people who can maybe like see like the examples of the extremes on both sides but even people in the middle are like pretty fiercely in wonder like I don't people who pretend to be in the middle right now are very clearly right you know what I mean they're on the right you know the people who like argue it's like oh well I can see both sides but also Elon Musk is amazing yeah yeah I don't you mean another another online fucking persona I think they exist I think no the people I'm saying the people who exist in the middle so much so much so I'm saying the people who exist in the middle so much so.
that they would actually, so much so that they would actually be swayed by an argument, I don't think they're real.
I don't think that's like a real thing anymore.
Yeah. Because even when I, I think when I was politically homeless, for example, but then I was kind of like when I was a lot younger, I just thought like, oh, I like some of I like some of.
Well, that was the thing.
That was the thing where I'm like, I don't belong here at all.
It was because they were all saying that they're fucking libertarian, but they're.
They were all conservatives.
They were all just...
Or extremist.
They didn't actually give a fuck about freedom.
They were just like weird.
And I was like, oh, because I like some principle, I thought some things would be better.
If, because I feel like on, because here's the thing, even when you talk to these people like, do you remember, I don't know if I mentioned this on the podcast, when that fucking guy in the vape store was screaming at the guy that had a MAGA hat on?
Oh, I don't remember that.
Like, he was screaming at the top of his lungs.
get the fuck out
like it was so
it was just this
right bro guy
with a maga hat on right
and he was being
very chill cool
calm and collected
so the other guy
was looking like a
fucking idiot
worse
and so he was just
but what the guy
was saying with the maga hat
even though he's
magas
you know he's in the cult
but he's like
hey man
I just want lower taxes
I just want better health care
and I'm like
there's no shot
and I'm like
but here's the thing
it shows me
even when you talk
to these people
on the street
pretty much
everybody agrees
on the same thing
we all want the same thing
they're just so fucking
stupid, they have no idea how to get it.
And so they think that guy, hold on hold on one sec, that that guy, the Trump, Orange Man
is going to get them that.
And so the only way you can tell them is by having a conversation with them in person.
You can't tell them online.
Yes, I agree.
And that's the problem.
I think what happens with our debates, our debates fail.
Yeah.
It's because these are these content creators that are there for fucking content instead of
a middle ground perspective.
The online is not going to work on line.
It shouldn't be an idea of like, I'm going to throw my fact at you.
and I'm gonna throw,
I'm gonna make a stark you comments
and throw,
it's like, well, no,
I think they should just fight each other.
Let's just chat.
Whatever, man.
I would want to attend if they actually fought.
If they actually scrapped it up,
that'd be crazy.
I would love to see Dave Ruben fight dream.
I would love, I would, not dream.
I would not dream.
I still see that.
I don't know that one too.
Fight who?
Yeah.
Destiny or dream?
Both.
Both.
Both.
Or everybody, triple threat.
Triple threat.
Dave Rubin's bigger,
so I think he could take him.
Dave Rubin's very tall.
But he might be still weak.
because I bullied
I bullied tall people before
Like one of the weakest people
They're like they're gym rats
He's not a gym rat
He's not a gym rat
He was soft
He's soft
He's a punchy fella
The gym rat
The gym rat gay is
I would
That's a fucking
Oh yeah
Yeah one of my friends that I grew up with
He was like a he's a fitness instructor
In West Hollywood in WeHo
Yeah
He'd kill me
You don't want to fuck with gay
Gay gym rats are crazy
They're like
They're a powerful breed
Because they're extra dedicated to go
Exactly right right
You know
They go there
They go there
hot jackpot I'm stronger now yeah but yeah all those people like you know whatever I want to
that was just the name of the guy by the way this this that we let us oh right let's go let's go
let's go let's go he's got a question let's go says it it's time to write it's time to find out
how depraved you motherfuckers really are how far would you be willing to go with your only fans content
for guaranteed donation of 15 million dollars 50 million oh man what I mean like well so
we say how far are you willing to go like that's an interesting question I don't know how to answer that
because like I would I would do a sex tape for $15 million.
Well yeah that's what I mean that's nothing.
That's why I'm like yeah.
I have I have like I'll show you everything too.
I have the light of the flash on.
I'll even turn the lights on.
I'll even turn the lights on for you.
Yeah, yeah.
I actually know someone who does audio porn erotica.
Where it's just like a recording.
Yeah.
So she she like uploads.
I don't know if she actually I've never seen it or heard it.
I mean I never heard it.
But what I assuming is.
is that it's like auto erotica or she probably like,
it's probably like an actual,
remember those people that would listen to,
what were those things called?
They would listen to the sensitive.
Oh,
ASMR?
They listen to that stuff and they would swear it's not sexual.
So I bet like what she does is that like,
oh, no, this is definitely classified as sexual.
There's no, there's no wiggling around it.
It's probably like stuff like that, I imagine.
But, you know, all those people,
I remember all those motherfuckers back in the day,
they were like, it's not sexual.
And I'm like, okay,
then why is this hot bitch whispering in your fucking ears?
Is it a chiropractor thing?
There is an ASMR that is like,
but you know that's not what they're listening to.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah, yeah.
There's like stuff where it's like,
where it's just like the people like fucking with slime
or like a weird like,
tactile stuff.
Uh-huh.
That's,
I think it's weird.
I still don't really understand it fully.
That's,
that's asexual for sure.
Yeah,
like,
but when it's like,
hello.
Hey,
hey,
hey, I want it.
And I'm like,
what the,
come on, dude.
That shit bothers me.
I hate it.
It makes me upset,
actually.
I hate every single bit of it.
I don't know.
I do, I'd do a...
I would fuck on camera for $15 million.
That's not even hard, though.
Well, that's the thing.
That's what I was like, the question's weird
because, like, how far are you willing to go?
The question should be preference, like,
would you be willing to do this?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm having a hard time related.
It's like, I don't know.
Like, I'm trying to see if I'm willing to do gay stuff
for $15 million.
That's a question.
And I'm like, it'd be almost stupid.
It'd be almost stupid not to.
I would attempt it.
But the thing is like,
as long as you're not expecting
something to happen because there's
there's no guarantee I'm going to get
erected trying to have
gay sex so that's the thing
is the attempt good enough for me to get the money
and I got a
I got a great I got a great stipulations obviously I have to agree
subulations I don't want anything to happen that's not going to
everybody every party has to be very much so willing to be a part
of it obviously
Of course what you're talking about
No no no no like the idea like the idea is like hey
I'm going to fuck you and you're going to fuck me type shit
And it's like yeah that's what basic consent is
Yes no no the ideas like I'm
I'm not just going to fuck you only.
You're not only one taking dick, you know?
It's like, it's like, man, I got to take dick too.
So you mean like, oh, man.
Well, that's not even how old porn works.
Sometimes it's just one person's the top and one person in the bottom.
I've never, I've never really watched gay porn if I'm being honest.
That's not, you don't have to watch gay porn and know that.
What do you mean?
I know, but it's like, I'd assume gay porn.
They'd be like, hey, we're, everybody's getting in there dig it, you know?
I know.
I know what?
I would assume so.
Why would you?
Both parties have penises that they probably want to assume I'm, of, why would you assume?
I'm, why would you not assume that there's some people that don't want to get
fucked in their ass?
I mean, obviously there's some people that don't want to fucking fuck that.
I assume that it's a real thing.
But I'd assume if I'm doing a gay scene, right?
I'm like, I'm not going to leave buddy.
I'm going to leave buddy outside of the past.
I see.
So he's like,
he's extrapolating it from like lesbian point probably.
Yeah.
Where it's usually pretty reciprocal and there's not really a,
there's not really oftentimes where one does something that the other one doesn't do.
Is that what, is that what my assumption is.
I would,
why my assumption is not that is just knowing how many different types of gay dudes there are.
They're like the twinks.
They're the bears is all that shit.
And I imagine a lot of bears probably aren't getting fucked in the ass.
Like they're probably going, you know what I'm saying?
There's probably these dynamics.
I'm assuming because I'm assuming the homosexual sex in general.
You're probably like some sort of standard porn where they're probably both jacked.
They're both like the same.
Yeah.
And then they're like, yeah, I feel like that's such a stereotype.
Like the jacked gay porn.
It's like it's big tits, blonde, dry pussy because she's obviously not turned on.
moaning fake moans
fake coming like it's I imagine the jacked
gay guys is like this like that
it's like the standard oh bro
I'm so jaded you would you
accept $15 million
fuck my ass
but yeah baby you are
they have to you have to
be injected with a serum
you're already
you're losing me
this is that's going to do with the only fans
I'm curious
15 million dollars a serum
that turns you into a wear
tarred
like every full moon
I become a retard
like downs or what
no no like
or just a genuinely idiotic
like Sam I am Sam
no
I probably die
but every full moon
every full moon for 15 mil
yeah
if you're outside
and you're exposed to the moon
no
that's crazier
it's sometimes the moon
just be visible
and like no
I might
I might do it
because I would just
make sure I have my calendar
mapped out for the rest of time
and then just oh it's time to stay inside.
You know there's going to be situations
where you're going to be caught.
You're going to be caught.
You're going to be fucking traffic.
No.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Let's start just join the names.
Let's get out of here.
The propeller had this spots.
Last one.
It's not really, Jesus Christ.
Last one.
Coming on his skin, the lopopoop beauty again too.
Coming on his skin, the gaping will not yield, rodent.
This is less of a question, just more like an interesting comment.
Coming on a skin, what is that?
I know that.
Coming on his skin, the gaping will not yield.
God damn, and I know that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it.
That's it, that's it.
Oh, the gaping will not yield.
I see, yeah.
So dumb.
Why are you so terrible at advertising?
It took me well over a year of watching Chris to find out about the snark tank
and that you had another hidden podcast about PlayStation.
I don't disagree with this.
However, I will say that I think the Internet has evolved in such a way that it's made people really bad at doing obvious common sense things.
And what I mean by that is because everything is so algorithmic and people expect things that they're interested in to show up in their feeds, nobody actually goes through the power puts in the effort.
to actually look for things in the way that we used to when we were perusing the internet.
Because all of this stuff...
Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta.
We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,
whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI,
coming up with quantum or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
Right?
Yeah.
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with quantum?
By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.
That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.
All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there.
What's worse?
Being understaffed or being poorly staffed?
Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos.
Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs.
You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for.
Or go a different way and get no traction.
Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-soroughed.
sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing
candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right
person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show
will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves at
indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and
conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for indeed sponsored jobs.
Is there? I have one link, literally a, one link in my Twitter bio, one link on my YouTube
channel, everywhere that has everything that I'm doing on it. Here's the word. And in the past,
we would click those things. People would be curious to check out other stuff that they have.
Right. If you're a fan of somebody, I want to see what else they get into. Yeah. So I don't do not, I don't, I don't, I'm not
discrediting because that is true. We don't really push this as much as we could or should.
Not even like, that is 100% true. Not even at 10%. However, I do think a lot of it is like, it's really
bad. Because we still, we, the thing is we're still growing. So clearly something's working.
I think, um, I think purely by word of mouth. And that's awesome. That's, that's great. But also,
I also understand how much call to actions work. And I hate that they do. Because I feel like they
shouldn't. Because I'm like, fuck you, you know, tell me what to do. But, uh, people actually,
actually do do things when you ask them to do stuff.
So if you're like, hey, just real quick, like if I made an Instagram reel, oh, hey, real quick
guys, blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like, oh, shit, I never thought about that.
And I'm like, well, you should have, bitch, but, you know, they kind of do.
And you should, yeah, I mean, generally, yeah, yeah.
The person's right, but also I understand it's like, it shouldn't, it shouldn't be this way.
Yeah.
It should, like, I just feel like people just don't do that.
Because I do that still.
Like, if I find a content creator that I like, I click on.
the profile, I click on the link just to see like, oh, what else are they doing?
Yeah.
But I guess that's like a really old mindset to have on the internet because people aren't
used to having to look for the stuff that they're interested in.
That's true.
That's true.
I'm why just thinking somebody's talking about the thing.
I like, all right, cool.
I'm going to click on their videos.
I'm going to go through their page.
Look at what they got to see their playlist.
I'm like, I check their social links too.
Because sometimes I'm like, oh, let me see if I want to follow them on something.
If they don't post off then, I'm like, oh, it's not worth it.
Because like, some people have like an Instagram and like, oh, they haven't posted since 2020.
And I'm like, well, no point and follow them.
There's no point.
Yeah.
So, but like, I'll, I look at their stuff, especially if it's musicians.
I want to like, oh, maybe I can collapse.
Can you organize Instagram that go by relevancy still?
Like, not relevancy, our recency?
Yeah.
Like you do that.
So you clicked on the top left.
And watch.
So the top left, this is a recent thing they added because they actually got forced to do it.
They literally got forced to do it.
It was a due a lawsuit.
So you click Instagram, right?
In the top left.
And then you click following.
And then it goes chronologically.
Oh.
Yeah.
They were forced to do it.
Weird.
They didn't want to do it.
That doesn't really communicate that that's what that does, though.
Well, because they didn't want to do it.
So they showed you one time in the most subtle way.
And they're like, but they want you to stay with the main algorithm.
I really had no idea that was even possible.
Yeah.
Wait, really you click following and you go to.
And then it's chronologically now.
What are you doing?
This, right?
Yeah.
So it comes to chronologically now.
That's crazy.
Exactly my point.
Like, they were forced to do it.
They didn't want to because algorithmic.
obviously the regular feed is what they want.
So that means that you don't see shit you don't follow anymore?
Yeah.
That's insane.
Now the thing is, well, the one thing that they still haven't done, I think Congress still
needs to do something about it is that you have to snooze those suggestions every 30
days.
So instead of just being like, stop showing me shit that I don't want to see, you have to go
in and then it'll be like snooze for 30 days.
And then I'll start noticing shit's appearing that I don't follow again.
And I'm like, oh, I got to snooze it again.
And so it's, it's, it's.
stupid. It's so fucking stupid.
However, remember, we're not
paying any money to be on these
things. That's why they're going to do shit. Yeah, they're trying
to advertise. They're trying. Yeah. I understand. It makes sense.
Yeah. It's like, fucking Twitter with the fucking random
ads about penis pills. And I'm like, dude,
and the way that the ads are now, they do the ads so subtly to make it seem
like they're not ads. Dude, the people...
I get in the name like, did you tell this was an ad?
And I'm like, yes.
They're selling me something.
Yeah, the...
How man.
I don't know. I totally forgot what I was going to say.
I don't know. Something about homosexuality or something.
Probably.
I don't know.
I don't know what he was going to say.
Whatever he was going to say.
Something I don't know what, tell me, what did they do, Chris?
What have they done?
What do you want for me?
How do you know?
How do you know?
How do you know?
I forgot about that.
That's an old one.
Holy shit.
I thought of that in a while.
Oh my God.
There are consequences for saying the end were.
How do you know?
I love that.
was puny pie and his son.
I love that that is the fucking caption.
That is so fucking funny.
It is true.
Our consequence, unfortunately.
That is going to be, that is going to be,
his son's going to be on the same bridge one day.
He's going to be like,
imagine?
He streams
and ever long as playing.
He still for some reason?
He still streaming PubG.
It's so different.
There's three people on it.
Everlongest playing in the background.
All right.
Let's read these names.
Get the hell out of here.
Yeah.
I will be
N.
I didn't say it.
Bye!
Edward Long.
N-word Long is something.
There's something there.
His name is Edward Long.
That's sparked my N-word-long.
Three,
two, one.
Why'd you count me down?
The adventure is blacked in peas and John's son, Sergeant John's son, the international
PDF file training to shit 50 yards.
I want a row of guys.
I want to be on my knees because I miss those days.
I miss fucking all them twinks.
I don't want to miss a thing.
Oh, I don't want to miss the right.
This is why I want it in the beginning because.
Yeah, so you can have the preference to do it in the melody.
Because I'm reading.
You know, I'm like, what?
Yeah, I'm set on ending the show now.
Gears of War, Nendroid, number 2533, Marcus Phoenix.
No, Kanye, don't say that.
The Jews are not gay.
I'm just trying to do killer instinct combos in real life on women.
Get the Pasa, what is it?
The dragon stuff.
Is that all, like, the actual size?
Yes.
This is the size of Drogon from the series before.
Show the camera.
And that's how big Belerion was, dude.
That's fucking absurd.
Show the camera, but also like, what the fuck is this?
This is the size range of like all of the dragons of Game of Thrones, right?
So the really big black and red dragon at the end of Game of Thrones was huge, mind you, was Drogon.
Yeah, yeah.
Dronon was huge.
Like that's, this is the size of Balaureon, the black dread, the one that they keep mentioning in the legends of how big it was.
But they also said it was big enough that its shadow of cover town.
What the fuck you talk?
That's when they show, it's a Game of Thrones.
Yeah, but where did this come from?
It's this story.
You just pulled up the ratio of the dragons.
It was, it's on my turn.
That's like when you see like when they go like, oh, look at the, the planets in the solar system.
And then it just shows like the Earth.
That shit stresses me out when I see that dog.
I'm like, bro.
You can put a bunch of Earths in just the red spot of Jupiter.
That's so crazy.
And then there's like, you know, it's like 300 Jupiters or probably more.
There might be 3,000 Jupters to go to the sun or something.
I forget, but it's something.
You could actually put 49 Rhode Islands in Burbank.
No, you can.
What are you talking about?
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about Rhode Island.
You're wrong.
I'm right.
Rhode Island is like as big as a school or something.
Rhode Island is exactly 0.8 acres.
The idea of giving that,
that's small and calling you the state is crazy.
Yeah, they're just lazy.
They're like,
oh, that's good.
The size of maybe a middle school.
Do they have like one representative?
Like, what is their situation?
You can't like just
They probably have a very few
Yeah
I never hear about them during election time
That's how small they are
They must be
I never hear about them
I forget that they're a state
Seriously
If it wasn't for family guy man
That is Drew
Rhode Island would have a rough go
Quahog right
Quahog yeah
Coahawk
Pohog
How do you say
Quoh
No I forgot
It's cohog
It's cohog yeah
Cohog
Gohog Rhode Island
Right
Cohog baby
It seems to die
Is that where he's from
Me Farland
No you see
No I don't know where
I think he's from New York actually
I don't know
passion values
I'm with the use to in life
Do you know
I didn't know until I saw a
subtitle
I didn't know they were saying lucky
I had no idea what the fuck they were saying
just listening to it by ear
Oh I kind of I knew
It was like my man in the family guy
My man in the family I was like what is they saying
I knew what it was
It's funny you say that because there's some songs that I listen to where I listen to it over and over again
I'm like, I have no idea what the fuck he's saying.
And then everybody else understands.
I'm like, how do you?
That was me one of my favorite band's jungle.
I had no clue to listen to where they were saying.
And then I've read the lyrics to one of their songs and all of their songs started like being decipherable for me.
I'm like, wow.
Interesting.
Oh, he's from Connecticut.
That's why he was almost on that plane, the 9-11 flight.
He was?
Yeah, actually.
It's a real story, actually, for real.
Like, he was supposed to be on one of the flights,
and then he just was hung over or something,
and so he couldn't make it.
Oh, sorry.
So we have an alternate reality where Seth McFarlane is dead in 9-11,
and we just don't know about family.
It's almost crazy about that time and I die in 9-11, Llewish.
I almost happened, Lerich.
I wish.
Always.
That's how he's like that joke where he's like,
they go to fucking ground zero and they're like,
wow, so this is where the first guy got AIDS.
It's like,
So stupid.
It's dumb, dumb.
I love it.
What are we at?
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambata.
We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,
whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI,
coming up with quantum or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
Right?
Yeah.
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with Quantum?
By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.
That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.
All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there.
What's worse?
Being understaffed or being poorly staffed?
Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos.
Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs.
You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for.
Or go a different way and get no traction.
Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire
than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually
interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need
the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. And listeners
of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves
at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and
apply. Need to hire? This is a job for indeed sponsored jobs.
What the fuck is this? Vaughn of the Dead. Do you know what this spells? Gotti
gently used anal beat emporium. Round-eyed Asian. Slenderman's pansexual brother. I like
every genderman. Call me Jared Fogelowellie. I lose this weight. Phalic Baldwin and the
the comiton waved guns in the finale of fresh penis with ball hair.
Fresh penis with ball hair.
That is so much of a stretch
It's crazy
Who the hell would
Miss Trump's fat head like that?
I'll put that on his shirt.
Blair White
canonically banging Alex Jones
I mean
That definitely happened
Occam's razor and
Yeah
Hey baby
I'm gonna see your penis
Let me see your lady penis
We are in a battle
Between good evil
And women's penis
And I am losing that battle
And I am losing that battle
And I am losing that battle
In both everything
everything is taking
I lose that battle every day
I lose that battle every day
I lose that battle every day
I'm not
she got the gawk
in fact I had the gawk
me too
I can't stop throating
I'm throaty on
you've ever seen a video of me
throating it was staged
I couldn't believe
it was nine inches soft
that's fucking
what
that is insane
Google and read
about the Charlie Brown
comicster for November 6th
974
Femboy Sauron
Lord of Mordor, Ares, destroy Israel and my life is yours.
Super male vitality.
Made with 100% transgendered semen.
I like pussies that are long.
Come out and they shut out.
Words.
Using come for the counter blackface cosplay.
Death.
So death is a patron of ours.
Oh, nice. Death.
1776 is the amount of penises I've taken.
Jesus
fucking Christ
bro
That's a lot of
I wonder who's the person
That's fucked the most people
And I find it
Gang is con
I don't think so
Objectively
I think so actually
Objectively
I think almost like
scientifically you could probably
Like make that case
On horseback
I mean he must have
On horseback
To get the horse to turn afterwards
He definitely
He definitely fuck the horse
I mean he's that
People back then are definitely
fucking horses
They fucked the horses
For sure
That poor horse
I mean that poor gangas
That poor con
You know they actually
Do you know Genghis Khan's
nickname?
What?
Mr. Hands?
Farewell, brother.
Farewell, brother.
Big meaty stinks.
The world's, uh,
Jack the world's fastest maori,
roasted maple neck supremacy.
Andy,
Andy the man whose handies are eight here in dandy,
uh, but not as Mr.
Hans, the audio,
but not as dandy.
Why?
Retardy Oswald.
Because there's a moment you know he dies.
JFK was shot,
Grown.
Retardy Oswald.
I'm sorry.
The groan.
I hate that shit
I hate that
It's a death rattle
It's crazy
It's crazy
It's literally
I hate it
I hate it
I hate it
You're like
Oh he's out
He's
He was actually an engineer
He was an engineer
Yeah what a fucking idiot
Maybe he should have
Engineered him a better
Cohn
He drew up a blueprint
On how it wouldn't
It wouldn't fucking fit in there
He did it before
It was more than one time
He wasn't
Stupid asshole
fucking like
Prolapsed and measured it
Hmm
I've still never seen that video
It is really sad
I seen it one time
I was enough.
No.
Pulled up.
It's way more sad.
Jamie, pull up Mr. Hands.
There's some...
We need another screen.
We need another screen.
Just from that side for no reason.
Nope,
there's some things.
Audience, put Mr. Hands
behind Kingston's green screen there.
Let's not.
You know they're going to do that.
I should have said that.
Your mentions are going to be great.
Hey, do not at me or the snark tank.
No, at every single one of us.
No, just at Tom Sweeney, Inc.
Tom Sweeney, at Elon Musk.
I'm going to retweet it.
Everybody at Elon Musk.
Everybody said, put Mr. Hans on Twitter behind Kingston begging for it not to happen.
And at Elon Musk right now.
Oh, my God.
Yes.
I command this.
I command this.
It's happening.
That's a rhodo, bro.
Thank you very much for this.
What's that guy's name, Kingston?
This is very funny.
I want to meet him.
What an edge lord.
I love him.
I want to meet this man immediately.
I want to meet this man right now.
And I want to kill him by having him drive a cyber truck.
You're a free cyber truck
No, it's literally just driving it
You're gonna die
You are going to die
That is a fact
Is a guaranteed
The Trey is a sonatum medalian
There are 4,000 cybertruck
Smoker
And every single person
Has died driving them
Every
Sweeney's beard looks sprayed on
Sweeney makes my solid
My snake solid
Sweeney looks like he rolls
around in carpet
Three back to back
Why is there so much
Anti-Me rhetoric bro
why is there a what the fuck is that a number what you're talking what the fuck are you looking at
your fucking screen there's a number right by your finger oh yeah i haven't gotten there yet i'm just
i was just like i just saw it i was like what the fuck i don't know what to make of that
maybe this is a social security number you snarker it literally is the same amount of digits it is
it is the amount i mean i'm sorry we're financially obligated to read this i mean technically
you're right i mean i guess anything's a social security number though i mean you can just
make sure that's a good point yeah um swine makes my six solid six nine nine six nine six
many men wish death upon trump blood my ear uh blood on my ear the sex serve around me mini
amen uh sucking on mr rogers twelve inch cock seven six one six seven seven six oh one uh ben
shapiro moans when his finger goes through the toilet paper mr pants swine what's your
favorite magic cards and commander to play you answer this i'm not going to fucking i'll allow you to
saying.
Ball of the first sin, cardboard pie, spum befudders,
Lincara pulling out his trusty magic
gun at the Trump rally.
Jolly old dipshit, they tried to make me go
retar, go to, they tried to make me go
to retard, but I said, nur, nur, nur,
ner, ner, nir.
Stupid.
So insane.
Nure, nir.
Stupid.
It's really fucking dumb.
It's really mean.
May thy load dripping splatter.
Live, but I said no,
no, no.
Oh my fucking Christ
May thy low drip
Spire cyphergraf
Coming kidney stones
Like a machine gun
Speed up
Fuck me last
Fuck me fast
Load me up with comes
So I fill a glass
Uh hurry up
Boy I don't need no sass
Now speed up
Fuck my ass
Fuck my ass
Snake
Saves the kids
From the Transagenda
Featuring
Revolver Writtenhouse
And the Bud Light Factory
Hunter Dubois
Moonlight Great Ford F150
Eli Frost
Martian Man Fucker
sweet dome
What
Give it to me
Sweet dome
Alaban
Alaman butt
Sweet
Dome alla man butt
Where the guys
Fuck dudes
Sweet home
All a man butt
Mama I'm coming on a dude
That was great
Sweet home
Oh ala man
What is it?
Al a man,
but...
Al a man, but...
Man, but...
Man,
no, man,
no.
There I be fucking dude.
Lily's asparagus
binging piss dealer.
You must go to the bodegas
as the mops like grudits
and guess I'm a woman
now wrongfully exonerated
to help me.
I'm stuck in a well.
Would you be okay
if Marvel made Black Panther white?
I don't understand
why a guy who's don't gargle a seaman
all day.
They say because that's gay,
but that's gay.
No, it's fine.
She picking out my pipa
coming in the name of
El
Chris Esputo.
No way I'm hanging out with a couple of gooners.
Insisting that Brile is a stand-up guy.
My motherfucker went from sketch to catch real quick.
Just a hard R.
I fall asleep to N-word compilations.
Gordon Ramsey's Lobster Bisk Victim Memorial Fund.
That 10-second clip of Meek Mill telling the Rock to get up has had me laughing for a fucking month now, and I hate it.
Transfem gremlin, exposing people with lactose intolerance to 90 million rodents of a veneration.
Yush.
Craig the Canadian.
Ellie.
Ellie.
Ellie, Ellie, do my taxes.
It's your boy, Shawnee D.
The term short king is a false motivational phrase
created by Big Short.
Big Short.
Hook up my car battery to a dead hooker's clinton,
clit bling and nose ring,
call her Frankenstein's whore, sell her on eBay for a neat five.
3XO, unbelievably sad that Trump Wilkes shoot
barely missed their mark and graze his head.
George Lucas firing an RPG at the Goodyear Blimp
because it rhymes.
I love the sparkles around that
sparkles around it. It rhymes.
It rhymes.
It rhymes.
I think it just rhymes really well.
Namor rolling SpongeBob up and using him as a flashlight
and dumping what's less of him left of him in the chum bucket,
slurping stroke and smoke and joke and emoticots going like this.
Drip M.H. Lord of Homeless Trip. Gay, Bill O'Reilly
be like, fuck it, we'll do it gay.
Seal, Kfar.
But did you know the men I blow?
make my ass become wide and the gerbil inside can be seen.
Obi won't to blow me.
Kremlin to Gremlin, the rotten old Jimmy Dick.
Evil Sween says, I love the gays.
Yes, that's what you said.
I'm gay, yes.
Toby McGuire's Spider-Man is older than me.
When I read that, I kind of got confused because it's like, yeah, I mean, he's 49.
That was my first thought.
It was like, oh, wait, no.
And then I thought like, oh wait, I understand what you're saying.
It's not a Wawa.
It's a convenience story.
Somebody that I used to know tune, some bussy.
Oh, some bussy that I used to know.
That's all you wrote this one.
I think that's a bussy that I used to know.
Wichslave, 583.
The Pippini Brothers game presents Seinfeld versus It's Always Sunny.
Two, numanium of the Nightman.
Donk, Donk,erson, listen to hit my G-spot by your pretty hands down.
One of the best original gay songs I've ever heard.
You've got to pay the trolls' holes to get in the boys' hole.
Gade 6.
solid stink tweeting about how the woke mob took over the military because he can't take slurs anymore.
Pee-P. In an earlier name, I said I was putting Pee-P in the beginning of every name, just identified as me.
Good.
Killer instinct.
Announce her voice, Supreme Racism.
Also, a good second name for this podcast.
R.A.P. Very William Johnson, 1981 to 2004.
I'm gay.
I'm in need of a guy.
If I don't see him, I'll die.
You can feel my behind.
You can tell you can see my intestines.
Nice.
Me Be Fishy.
Speaking incantations to the posties to call that Spirit.
box, Dr. Kid and Speck.
I'll carpet mom the gods that stir for a quarter.
John Strickland.
My partner snapped the chair legs off my Chris Reagan
U-tues and then proceeded to tear off my legs
and self-defense.
Merck's 1889,
fat...
Ooh, uh, fat dykes really just exist.
Just stonewall their hot friends.
Facts.
The first search of Keith David featuring the corpse of the fool that
tried to kill Trump with a silver bullet.
Uh, without a silver bull.
The second search of Keith David featuring being better than the first
to keep David pre-Raz.
Somebody once squirted on my mother's ashes,
Blake 896.
It's been over a year, and Mama J.F. is still missing at this point.
How many pieces do you think she's in?
Chris Lange, trying to read, like, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Crazy that Starlight, I got that surgery.
Adrian Brody just looks that way.
Alaska noodle field trash.
Texas Tater salad.
Young Sheldon with two planes crashing onto him.
Sue Hulk.
Tickle my ass hairs.
Nicky Ziggy, Ghost of Jojo, Short, Schadenfreudian slip.
Sorry, Miss Jackson, badly brave, hugger, Derek, duck, cunt.
The vegan necromancer.
I got consent.
Aetherian, Brogerian, Punter.
Naferam.
Melfis won.
I busted my hands last week again.
but the doctor diss was too tempting
and running out our list is always the king of haphazard
thank you
thanks a lot
sianara niggas
sianara goodbye it's over
everything's fucking scary
I'm so seriously guys vote and read politics
read you read your read stuff
read it read up read up on people it's really crazy actually
no seriously please please I am not I'm not a
you know, an extreme person.
It's pretty wild out there.
Yeah, go to political orgies
where you fuck each other and also review
policy. Come on an enemy.
No, review, review policy.
Please, please that.
You guys have more power than you think you do.
Get out there and come on an enemy right now.
Get out there and come on your enemies.
No, no.
With consent.
Ask them if they're okay about it.
If they're not, convince them.
Convince them.
There we go.
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