The Snark Tank - #25: Jake Paul Arrested

Episode Date: June 11, 2020

Jake Paul got arrested and he literally stole a charity! Logan Paul became a decent human?! Mark Wahlberg is trending for very awkward reasons!? Would you rather die every day or restart your life on death? What if Keith David was everyone? (We're not even high, I'm so sorry.) This is Ormy again just letting you know everything's fine. They're treating me better than before. No need to alert authorities. I promise.  :)  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Hi everyone. This is Mariah Rose, co-host a full circle and the creator behind Hoops for Hotties. Whenever I'm headed out to a workout first thing in the morning or getting ready to yab about sports with the girls, I'm drinking Gatorade Lower Sugar. I've always been a Gatorade Girlie, but I don't always need more sugar in my life. So Gatorade Lower Sugar is perfect. It has 75% less sugar than regular Gatorade and all the electrolytes. It hydrates better than water and has no artificial flavor, sweeteners, or colors. Try Gatorade Lower Sugar today. Available on Gatorade.com. in stores nationwide. I like things My Way, my coffee,

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It's injected under your skin subcutaneously. It means I can inject in my space on my time. It's my treatment, My Way. Visit Vivgardmyway.com. That's V-Y-V-G-A-R-T-My-Way.com.

And talk to your doctor about Vivgar Hart Hitrullo, brought to you by Argenics. Hey, look, it's a little dead mean. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Snark Tank podcast. It's me. The same people, the same people.

I'm going to stop introducing us, because at this point, like, if you don't know, there's like 25 episodes at this point that you can go to and find, you know who we are. Fuck you. Welcome back. Calm down. I'm still your co-host, Tom Sweeney, my other co-host, some Derek, some Black Derek man, Some Derek Blackman Some black male

That's it right there You got it You got it right the first time You should be Derek black male Or black male man Black male man Black male man Black male man

All right We should be the black mailman What's wrong with you We can go We can go on our own little venture We can do the We could be the black males We spit it like male

Is this like another one of your show ideas Like the grim adventures Of Tyrone and Darius Dude that's such a good name It's, is it though? It is. Is it? And like, you know what I, you know what?

What's the name of the two brothers that would solve mysteries with each other? Oh, uh. The Harvey brothers? I know what you're talking about, but I don't know what the fuck it's called. I never watched that, but I know what you're talking. I mean, I never read that shit, but I don't know you're talking about. It's, I think of me and Jalen turning back and like having flashlights and like, we're in like a dark area, like in a cave going to solve a fucking mystery.

That's actually kind of good because, you know, Black folks are notorious for not taking chances like that shit. Like they don't go and explore the bullshit things and get murdered. Oh, I don't either. I don't either, but I just like the idea. Yeah, but see, now you will. Exactly. I'm not going to get murdered, right?

I mean, you probably are. Dang, I don't like this that much anymore. I think it's a bad name. Maybe use a different name. Why is it a bad name, Chris? Why? I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, Sweeney.

Maybe you don't want to have a black-centered show with a name that's stolen from somewhere else. Maybe that's maybe not the best idea. The grim Avengers of Tyrone. That doesn't mean. There's no other grim adventures. I can spell like they do the grim show. Not the grim adventures of Berlin, Mandy. I'm a spell out with an H somewhere.

Like grim. It's so obviously stolen. Grim. Grim, you know? It's a good idea, honestly. Let me know. With the comments, when we put this on YouTube, let me know if it's a good idea. idea guys. Oh my god. We have merch. We have merch at teespring.com slash stores

slash snark dash tank. There's a bunch of hoodies over there and if you support us on Patreon you get the art files for free like the at any tier you get the I want to get away from whatever the hell sweeteney's talking about. Why are you hating so much on the progress yo? Like it's a good idea. Then make it. Go make it. Look I'll I'll concede that the black male whatever that was was a pretty good idea. I pictured something like having a PO box and we'll just have people send us, you know, not anthrax. Like fried chicken recipes or something like that. Yeah. Like how good your fried chicken is and you send like different fried chicken recipes and we made fresh. What am I doing? Derek, Derek, that genuinely would have been a great idea for like a like a PO box show,

blackmail. It's not bad, man. We'll congregate after the show. We'll congregate after the show. We'll conga and get called and the police call on us because they're loitering, but we'll do it. Let's see. What do we got here? Okay, so just to get everybody up to speed, there are some new snark tank animations on YouTube right now. Obviously, this is a podcast,

so I can't show them to you or link them. And if I played them for you, they would just be parts of the podcast. So it would make no sense for me to do that. But there are two new ones in just the last, like, day that we got. One by Missile Tos Art about the Alien Molotov story and the other one by Cube Punks

with Sweeney's Fire. ball story where you threw a fireball out of a city building. And they're both really... It's already... It's already bad. Don't illustrate it anymore. It's a real... They're both really good. We love them.

I'm gonna be making a playlist on the Star Tank YouTube channel for like all the all the animations that we get because it seems like we're probably gonna get a decent amount of them. I would hope so because like I love them. They fucking, they bring me live. It's the most rewarding part of doing the show, honestly. And, uh... We don't want to, I don't want to re-upload all of them to the channel because I just, you know, I wanted to put at least one out there on the main channel so people knew that it was a thing and people could like maybe get inspired to do it.

But putting all of them on there, just like, I'd rather just like link to the original videos. So that's kind of what the plan is going forward. They're so good. They're so good. The Fireball one in particular is so good. Fantastic. It's hilarious. Oh, man.

It's insane. Thank you guys for all that shit. It's insane. They're all wild. The fact that people bother to sit there and like draw to storyboard, the shit that we talk about is insane. Because that's actually work that people get paid to do. They're just like doing it.

It's just wild. Anyway, so that's some of the housekeeping that's in order. So what's going on? What do we got to talk about here today? We got Jake Paul is in the news again, of course. Jake Paul is. Jakers. I can't believe how I

Well I guess I can't believe it because all the way back to I would say like 2017 when he Devised he conspired with an assistant to try to get like Faye's Banks thrown in jail where it was like Fays Banks beat my assistant or something Got her in a chokehold and then she put on fake makeup And then it quietly got swept on the rug I guess they settled outside of court But I was just like dude that's the that's like the craziest thing I've ever heard of

That's like as far as you YouTube goes. And so I guess I'm not surprised that fast forward to the stuff that's been going on recently, Jake Paul got caught on film, like participating in the rights and the looting. And he was like, oh, I was just filming this shit. But somebody handed him a stolen bottle vodka from P.F. Chang's. So it's like, you're on camera. How are you trying to justify this? I don't even understand this. I don't understand. He has enough money to not have to do shit like that. Like what is I just don't get is it is it just the necessity to be in a limelight? Because yeah there's no reason there's just no reason and like there's no good reason for him to be involved in that at all

Yeah, yeah he can't help himself. He can't he could have easily like he has enough following he could have easily just posted something and but like black lives matter Here's a link to this that post a black screen even like something and then just like stay away from that but no he had to go and get involved in the worst part of it It's like, bro, come on It's funny that you even mention that about like say Maybe saying something because he had like a justification Somewhat of an apology video or whatever that you can't you know rate or comment on And he linked to He attached a charity

On that video and it raised like say tens of thousands of dollars. That's what it showed Like for the NACCP And it was like people are like oh that's that's awesome like what a good guy And then this Asian dude comes out on TikTok and he's like, hey, this is my charity and he just stole it and pretended it was his. So he just can't

like, he can't Bro, not do stuff. Imagine, imagine stealing a charity, dude. This guy, bro. You stole a charity. You looted a charity. He looted a charity. This man's a, this man is a comic book villain,

bro. This guy is fucking ridiculous. You remember when Shane Dawson? made a nine-part documentary about how cool he is. He didn't make, it wasn't really about how cool he was, but it's definitely not. Wow, Jake Paul goes off-roading in his backyard and he put me in the car. What is going to happen? It's just so fucking obnoxious.

I have no ill will to the shade at all, but I'm just saying like, God damn, Jake, you got to do better, bro. You're a, you're a role model. Like, you're actually, like, as much as people don't want to acknowledge it, people that create content are role models, dude, and you are just facilitating such bad ideas into people's minds, dude. Think about, and by the way, Jake, think about who is telling you this. Me, bro. Think about the fact that Sweeney of all people.

I go to bed watching Live League videos. That shit puts me at rest. And I'm telling you, bro, just take a step back and just look. I was talking to Sweeney about the animations, about the Snark Tank Animated's, and how the fact that like Derek you're always drawn with like a mass effect thing I'm drawn with like you like either just uh the typical clothes that I wear just like a halo shirt or something and then Sweeney always has like it's it's not a furry not a psychopath or lively it's just all that's how I'm created I have sweatpants on I have my slides on and I have a shirt that says not a furry or

or live leak that is what defines you that is your What if I get a sponsor from Lively? Wouldn't that be sick? Like my streams have like LiveLeak sponsorships on it? Do they insane? Is LiveLeak even allowed to fucking sponsor? It's for educational purposes, bro. That's what it says when you go on the website.

How would you even, how would you, how would you do a live, Derek, how would you do a live league ad read for our video? I got one ready. I got one ready. Let's see what you got, Derek. I want to hear yours. I can't even, okay, but my mind just doesn't work. Work that waste, Sweeney.

I could probably do it. Go for it, because let's hear it. You're fucked enough. Hey, everybody. This video is brought to you by LiveLeak. Have you ever seen men die? Have you ever seen souls vanish? Have you ever seen the light in a man's eyes dwindle into a pale spot? Come to LiveLeak and you'll find all sorts of things like that. Also, horny lesbians get Grandpa Midget Surprise exclusively available with the affiliate link. That's not LiveLick, bro.

That's, it's EFuck. It's close, though. It's his cousin. No, no, no, it's on LiveLick. It's on LiveLeak? Of course it is. Nani. Where else is it going to be?

It has like two places. Listen, it has two places that it could be. It's effacked or LiveLek. There's no... I love how that video is so fucking unnerping that it's not even on regular porn sites. That's how crazy it is. You know the shit I've seen on poor sites? I've seen whole arms inside of women.

But that video, a video of a tiny little creature doing it on a fucking threesome. It's not on it. That's fucking gnarly. I watched all of Schindler's list on a porn site once. It was actually on there. This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain. Brought you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs.

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At Arizona State University, we're bringing world-class education from our globally acclaimed faculty to you. Earn your degree from the nation's most innovative university. Online. That's a degree better. Learn more at asuonline.asu.org.edu. I watched the new, I watched the new Dark Side Wars on a porn site. The newest DC movie, I was going to watch porn that found it on there. And I was like, oh, shit.

And I watched a whole movie on there. That's so funny. I've legitimately thought about starting to just upload a porn hub because I was like, dude, YouTube fucking sucks so much that I legitimately think I'd have a better time and be more successful on porn hub. And I can actually show my fucking dick, which is something I've been wanting to do for a while. Yeah, dude. I'm getting sick.

I'm getting sick of not being able to show it, honestly. I have a girlfriend. I have to talk to her about that first. But once we get past that first part, bro, I'm just going to start whipping it out everywhere or online. It gets really annoying having to, like, frame the camera around it, you know? Yeah. Yeah. It's so apparent.

Yeah. What are we going to do, hide it? We're going to do be decent and not reveal my genitals of people that don't want to see it. Fuck that. Fuck that and fuck them. Bro. You know, I'll be honest, I've gotten a lot of messages when I revealed, this was probably like two years ago, I revealed that 90% of the videos I record are, I just, pantsless.

I just have, like, my boxer briefs on. Yeah. Because what's the point of putting pants on? And I got a lot of messages about, like, hey, you know, you should, you should show me what's under there? Kind of, I'm like, what's happening here? This is. No, that's fucking grungy.

It makes me contemplate a fucking only fan, man. Like, honestly, there isn't a huge demand, but I think I can still make a good amount of scratch from there. I want to try it. You could probably make some, at least some portion, some significant portion of rent, probably. I want to bring it up. I want to try it, but I don't understand how I'm going to review that to my girlfriend. I just don't know how, like, I don't know how I'm going to get her to be okay with that. She'll just dump me.

She'll be like, I can't, why are you doing that? Like, you don't need to do that right now. I'm just like, but honey. What about the laws? Yeah, and I'm making assloads of cash for just showing my dick. It's just there. And now there's money in my account. It's just a dick.

That's like when Repzion, when Repsion was like selling feedpigs. Dude. What? It was just like, yeah, I'm making bank just selling feedpigs. Like, damn, dude, nice. It's just stupid. Because, like, there are videos, there of, I've put videos on my channel where, like, people could see my feet, and that's for free.

And this dude's making bank off it. Like, what the fuck? Yo, honestly. Listen, yeah, get your money. The human race is collapsing anyway. So it doesn't matter. That's a great point. Who cares?

Yeah, fuck that, man. It's so fucked right now. You know what? You guys convince me. So I'm going to start with a cameo. Let me see how that goes. A cameo of your feet? Well, yeah, you ease into it.

They start showing the stuff that's like kind of, what do you, PG-13? Just on cameo. I'm going to start with cameo. Does the foot stuff ever get out of PG-13 until a dick is showing up? Like, you can never just have a, foot thing in this PG 13 if it's like it can never really get out of the range of like PG it's just feet but once you start showing genitals and feet then it's like out of the range because feet stuff is this is this feet yeah it is just feet and that's why I don't I don't

really give a shit about people paying to see my feet that's pretty great and so cameo first I don't know maybe five bucks pop starting off maybe I'll put up 20 and then slide into only fans you know what I just realized you know what I just I just thought of this this is a moment of like a real human being emerging. I'm literally contemplating right now selling pictures of my penis. What has happened to me? What is just like at a moment of clarity

where I was like, you are really about to take fucking really good pictures of your dick to sell them. This is what happens. Like, what's wrong with you, dude? Like, this is not you, Kingston. This isn't you? This is what happens when fucking Jake Paul's in the news.

Just everything falls apart. All of your stand. standards just drop immediately when Jake Paul's brought up. No, complete chaos. Everything's out of order. We already talked about the reasoning for this, if you remember. If you guys remember why this is happening. Is it Papa John?

We suspected Papa John and now the world's falling apart. Papa John is the angel of death. But God has died. What? Our God Ken Jong-un. Oh, right. He has left this earth. And now Papa, who warned us about.

about the day of reckoning. It is here. And now he is the harbinger of death. And he is wreaking havoc. Yo, fuck. I totally forgot. I totally forgot that Kim Jong-un actually did die. Like, for real.

He did not die. He did, though. We know he died. We established this. Like, bro, when's the last time he's been out on a horse or whatever showing himself and chilling? Like, he didn't have like a fucking heart surgery that would have you sit out for months at a time. Yeah.

Yeah, Kingston. When was the last time? That's a heart. So every heart surgery you should be out for a little while. It's your heart. What are you talking about? You guys are maniacas. Kingston.

When was the last time Kim Jong-un updated his only fans? I happen to have it on good authority that it's been a while. I don't understand. I can't talk to you all right now. Can you imagine Kim Jong-un has a fucking old only-fants? I've been legitimately subscribed. And he's hung. He's hung.

The head of his dick is bashing against his fucking knee-cat, bro. I thought. I thought you were saying something racist. He hung? What? That's what? I am fucking baffled right now. Oh my God, I didn't catch that.

I wish I didn't catch it. That's pretty good. So, yeah, I picture Kim Jong-un's penis. Like, it's, let's just say it's like 12 inches soft, and then the head is as big as his actual head. The head The head. It's just a pendulum ride at a fucking fair.

That's a fucking pogo stick. That's a small pogo stick. That's scary as fuck. I just picture it looking like a reverse elephant head. Oh my. What? Like the shaft is the trunk and then his head is the elephant's head. Oh my God.

That's such a massive. That's like a fucking weird shovel. It's like a weird looking fucking shovel. That's like on some not safe for work Like ratios I've read it But tell me If he was packing like that You would subscribe to his only fans wouldn't you

Like just out of sheer curiosity I would definitely be curious enough To search for leaks I don't know if I wouldn't I wouldn't pay him money to see that Until I at least see a leak of it And be like wow that's insane How dare you question our Lord and Savior

To the point where you need a leak you should trust in him I don't I don't trust people anymore This is why we're in trouble guys He's not even honest about being dead Like how can I trust him This guy doesn't fucking lie about being

He's probably in space Pround to protect us From some sort of fucking Eldridge beast But still He's having some kind of coolers revenge Fight in space Oh my God He's off planet

Protecting us bro That's some real shit right there That's real basketball Honestly like real real talk if... This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs, to be exact.

My favorites, the only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste.

I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy fratatom. And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at VitalFarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people,

animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle, and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. shortcuts. Let's be honest. Buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated, sketchy, or low quality. That's why I want

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Just head to mood.com. That's M-O-O-D.com to get started. An alien ship came down. Oh, man, here we go. And this is not going in the alien direction, I swear. Like if some kind of like foreign like just some ship that you've never seen before like descends on the on the planet Earth lands in I don't know like the Grand Canyon or something and people step out of it in and they're all wearing the same kind of space uniforms and it's it's Kim Jong-un accompanied by all of these different aliens from different races and they're here to protect us. Is it like a green lantern core? Yeah like the Green Lantern Corps like the Guardians of the Galaxy or something.

It's like Kim Jong-all right. Who could it be? It's Kim Jong-un. Keith David Keith David Absolutely Who else is fantastic Keith David again Another Keith Johnwood Featuring Keith Davids

Keith Davids No it's Keith David in different In different like works of his Like one of them's Arbiter One of them's the president One of them's like the There's a bunch of different kinds of Keith David Yeah but then five of them are just straight up

Just normal Keith David So we have Ken John Un, five Keith Davids, and Arbiter, Captain Anderson. I already got the name. It's Kim Jong and the Keith Corps. Yes. Hello, humans. I am Keith David, and I am here to help you with these troubles you're going to experience.

He's been here helping us. He's been helping us this whole time. One of them has been stationed here the entire time. Yeah. But there's a planet of Keith Davids. Yo, that would be the best planet ever. There's a Keith David. There's a Keith David in every civilized society.

Just observing. And once they're gone, that's it. Like, they're the balance. Shit. So we got to protect Keith David at all costs. And luckily, we had Kim Jong-un on our planet. He was a random effect, but he came into existence and he protected us. Yeah.

He was like Goku. He, like, he crash landed on this planet, and he was here to, he was here to actually save the world, but then he hit his head and became a dick. It's just reverse Goku. Reverse go-go-go-co. Oh, my God. That shit's so fucking precious. I got to tell you, I, I, apps, I adore this. I adore every scenario that has popped up in the last five minutes.

This is really fantastic. We should really, really, somebody make a, not, if you don't do that, that might be dangerous. But remember this idea, okay? Don't make anything about it. Just remember it. I think I'm going to talk to the president about this. I'm like, hey, man, we, can we, can we do something? Like that Space Force thing.

Can we like... Listen here, Derek. Listen here. I know you want to stop having your communities looted by all your thug friends. But I don't have time to speak to you. I'm in a bunker. You sound like, you sound like, uh... I can't do Trump's voice.

You know what you sound like? You sound like, um, like a man who runs a hair salon. A man who runs a hair salon? Yeah, and your name's like Fabio 2, where someone's on. Yeah, Fabio two are like Richard with a Q. So I sound... What the fuck? Richard with a Q?

Where's the Q, please? It's silent and it's right in the middle. And it's capital. I'm Fabio, Richard Q. Let me tell you something. My name is Richard Q and I run a hair salon. I don't know why you're speaking to me about aliens and Keith David, but I can't help you. What is your black man?

What is your name guy? What is your black man? Black man guy? What is you? Black man guy. Please get away from me. You're making me nervous. That's all I'm going to say.

Oh my God. You're making me. What do we got? What do we got? Let's move on from this. We're derailing already. What else was, what else happened? You said Logan Paul did something?

What was happening? I didn't see anything with Logan. Well, Logan Paul's actually been getting a lot of praise and a lot of people have been kind of like giving them props because people are just flabbergasted, I guess, is the best word to say that Jake Paul is. is this menace, I guess, and then Logan's been just laying low, just been doing his podcast. I guess he went out a rant about everything that's been going on and everybody like kind of highly praised him. And they're like, hey, it seems like he's actually maturing or something. And it's just such a stark contrast. It's so weird to see when everybody hated Logan Paul so much.

And everyone's like, oh, he seems kind of reasonable now. And then his brother just cannot help himself. He just, it's like there's a book that he has to like how to fuck up. And then he just keeps going through the chapters. He's like, fuck, man. All right. Chapter 6, you know. And then he just, it doesn't, there's no excuse at this point.

It doesn't even fucking make sense. Like, yeah, I'm a steal charity after I just got charged with the trespassing and all this shit. It's fucking weird, dude. Fucking, I can't get over it. The fucking stealing a charity. The Logan Paul thing, I, now I, if you watch the video, you can tell he's reading from a script. You can tell you can look at it and see Like he's that

He did not write that He did not think that Like an off the cuff rant Yeah okay yeah for sure Like he definitely He definitely was reading it from a script I'm not saying he didn't He didn't mean it

I'm not saying he didn't think it But I'm saying The script just makes it Like you could just easily Just go on screen And talk about the problems that come I mean I guess it was To formulate the idea better

He read it from a script So every point could be hit That's pretty normal. It's pretty normal to have a script or to have like a guiding document. I'm okay with that. It was a really, really good speech, though. Like even I was like, Dan, this is a good speech. Yeah, and look, I'm okay with that because it's something that like, say, especially

to help people feel good, it's kind of like, say, I was even, I was talking to my mom the other day. And I was saying that I've seen a lot of people that are on the right that are like very disappointed in Trump, that they're like, this dude is not behaving like a lot. leader. Like, I've seen shit like that where even if you don't say necessarily believe everything you're saying, there's sometimes we need to say something to boost people's morale to have unity and shit like that towards like, come out, have a nice speech. You know, there's usually a teleprompter. Like fucking Obama was the master of that shit. You just like, all right, he's great with his words,

has the speech. It's all prepared. And then he can inspire a lot of people. Now, I don't know how the fuck these people really feel because, you know, they're all, you know, politicians and shit. But I think there's something the leader like being a general or something you inspire people and kind of calm people down. And so I feel like say Logan Paul taking that approach other than

say if he was trying to go off the cuff and like stumbling and saying ums ands and it just sounds like he's lost. I don't believe it. We're this fucking guy saying he's probably just thinking about I don't know parading other dead bodies and shit like he just can't wait. You can't wait to go back to that forest. But people

they accepted it. So it's cool. I mean, a lot of times people, like, not everybody, like, even if you think the right things or if you, like, believe certain things that you really want to get across, not everybody is eloquent enough or really capable enough to really get that across well, because speaking publicly or just like even speech writing is a skill set. It's kind of like debate where it's like, even if you're right and you have the right points in a debate, it really doesn't matter if you don't know how to debate. You know what I mean? Yeah. So like you could get trounced by somebody who's completely wrong in a debate, which is insane. 100%. It shows that system is broken because like all you do is insult people to win debates instead of like, I don't know, just being correct and having points about it.

That's pretty much every YouTube debate I've seen ever. Well, they're also just, yeah, it's pretty much every YouTube debate that's ever existed. It's like, how do you, how do you, like, and there are some things that, like, you feel don't need to be proven. You know what I mean? Where it's like, oh, well, a black life is the same as every other life. And it's like, prove it. It's like, what? Like, what?

Who the fuck says prove it to that? Obviously, that's like a hypothetical debate. But it's like, there are certain things where it's like, even if you, like, thinking the right thing just sometimes is enough because sometimes like just the format of a debate requires like all these like weird citations and like really, a really. really specific mode of communication that just isn't present in normal arguments. Imagine, like, it's like the idea, like, you have your debate going on, and you say something that's so unbelievably reasonable and true, and then someone disputes it, and you're just like, what? Yeah.

What? And all you're thinking is, like, how did you dispute that? It's true. Like, it's so weird. Debating is such a strange, such a strange world. America consists of 50 states, yeah, prove it. And you're just like, at that point, like, what do you do? Like it's just, it's, it's, you have to name them off, name all of them off, I guess, and then call him a dumbass afterwards.

I mean, I just, I hold this truth to be self-evidence, sir. Like, I don't know what to tell you. See, that will get you pointer there. I like that. Yeah, that's right. Oh, I was saying, do you guys, do you guys remember the debate between Ken Ham and Bill Nye that happened years ago? Oh, I do. Yeah, Ken Ham was like this, like, creationist.

Yeah, he's the creationist that essentially believes, and this is, I think Bill Maher said this, that the Flint's, Ken Ham believes that the Flintstones is a documentary. Because he's... Wait, wait, wait a minute. Time out, time out. You said the Flintstones were a documentary.

That's not real. Essentially, that's what Ken Ham believes because he believes that humans and dinosaurs was coexisted. And he has a creationist museum. Not literally the fucking Flintstones, but he's just basically saying they coexisted. They did stuff together.

And as asinine as that shit is, he's just on this earth. And he's like, yep, I have a museum showing how shit be. And him and Bill Nye had a debate. And just the very closing statements, they just asked, like, what would change your mind? And Ken Ham was like, nothing. and then Bill and I just said, you know, evidence.

And that was basically the entire debate in like, however long it was. I was just, I was so mad. I'm like, I wasted like fucking an hour or two of my life. It was so stupid. How do you disdue carbon dating then? Oh, easy. The Bible. It's simple.

Oh, okay. There you go. So, um. This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain. Brought you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs to be exact. My favorites.

The only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at vital farms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms, is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store,

look for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit vitalfarms.com to learn more. Vital farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts. This episode sponsored by Vita Hustle. Why aren't you eating right? Because eating right is hard? Because it isn't.

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The Bible. I mean, that's literally, that's literally, not to get a deep at two, but that's literally what it is. It's just, I remember seeing this thing. You remember when Zykeyes came out in a conspiracy theory documentary? And the first segment about it was dismantling, like, religion and stuff. And then I saw somebody make, like, a counter to it. It was called a zeitgeist refuted.

And I remember, I was like, oh, this is going to be fucking amazing. I can't wait to see, like, the points and see what they have to say. And then it was literally just that, like, well, this ain't true because in this chapter the Bible, it says it's, this is true. And I was like, oh, fuck. I was so, I was so sad. I'm having a serious...

Strongest, man. It's so powerful. I'm having a serious flashback to, like, some of the earliest days that I can remember on YouTube. And I remember watching this full-length documentary called Jesus Camp. Hell yeah. And it was like, but I didn't even watch it. I watched it through some YouTube guy doing like doing videos on every single,

like he would just watch the episode or he would just watch the documentary and just pause every time something was wrong and he would just climb. It was like honestly one of the first commentary videos that I think I've ever seen. It was like 2006. Oh, wow. And his name, I think his name was Big Al 2K6 actually. Like I remember this so, wow, it's so weird that I vividly remember this. I wonder if he still exists. I mean, yeah.

He's probably, honestly, he's been around so long at this point that I imagine he's probably on like local boards because that's just how that works when you've been around for that long. Oh yeah. But that's so wild. There was a lot of, that was like early YouTube commentary. It really was like religion, commentary on religion, like the amazing atheist and something like that. Yeah. I didn't see that stuff until around like 2010. I didn't even know commentary videos existed in 06, man.

I was watching like unforgivable. You know that black dude fucking saying. silent shit in the woods. Dude, that shit was unforgivable. It's classic, classic comedy. That's my, dude, I bought three of his fucking shirts. Like, I was a huge fan. That was such a fan.

And, uh, what was it? My Way Entertainment, the juggernaut bitch. When, uh, if you remember that? That video was so fucking funny when I was little. Yeah, that was, dude, that shit was fucking nuts to me because I was like, uh, this guy's named Randy Hayes that did, uh, the voice acting, all those dubs and shit. And, like, he's so, I was like, his timing was so funny.

And that shit. made it into X-Men, what was it, the last stand? Yeah. You remember the third one? And they made that joke, I'm the Joganaut, bitch. And I was like, are you fucking serious? That shit blew my fucking mind.

What happened to the world, man? You were making such good progress in some places. Some places shit didn't really change. But then the world got all fucking icky and shit. Man, I'm sad. I read something, I read something about how, like, the Mayan calendar is, like, is off. And actually this year is technically 2020.

by my end standards? I mean, they had the exact same, they had a solar calendar, so, like, it couldn't have been off. I mean, it was definitely off, though. Like, because it's, it's objectively off. Like, that's true. But, like, I don't know if it's,

I don't know if it means that this is their 2012, though. So, you can't have an exact calendar. That's the whole point of a, that's the whole, that's why daylight savings exists and why leapers is exists. Well, no, they use the calendar system similar to ours. It's not the exact calendar. They use the solar calendar.

They used solar days. So, the way they've, measured time was roughly the same as we measure time. That's how, yeah. So that's how those calendars work. Mm. Because they,

because they were farmers just like that. So they were, you were like, they were like farming stuff. So they measured their calendars based on when they would be able to harvest stuff. What do you mean finally like for experience? No. Yeah.

Yeah. Same shit. Experience in life. Yeah, they got to level up, man. Come on. God. So,

oh my gosh. So you slow mo. So Mark, Mark Wahlberg is trending on Twitter. Oh, my God. Do you want to tell us why? Go ahead, Mr. Black Man. This is so good.

So a lot of people, just like with a lot of people didn't know, a lot of K-pop, you didn't know, Joji was filthy Frank. It's the same principle. So Mark Wahlberg came out on Twitter and he left a statement about everything that's going on. And Twitter, you know, unearthed the shit that they're like, you have no business speaking about Black Lives Matter or anything because he has multiple. hate crimes, which one of them, keep in mind, this was maybe in the 80s or 70s or something, that he was chasing a black man with his friends throwing rocks at him saying, die inward.

So he was trying to kill a black man. So that was his first one. And then he graduated. His first one. Like it's his first video. What was your first hate crime? Oh, well, I do rocks at some guy. But, you know, I got better after time.

Yeah, that's a. It took him a while to stop this shit Because there's one that's even You know Like I said he graduated Where he started beating up Vietnamese people So yeah

Yeah he put he blind a Vietnamese man He punched a Vietnamese man's eyes out Yes You know what's funny I think When I was talking to When I first started talking to John Tron a while back He was making this video about workout tapes

and one of the focuses was this Marky Mark workout tape. This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs, to be exact. My favorites, the only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why.

These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They live in their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little. butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name.

Type it in at VitalFarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more. farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts. IP Vanish protects every device you own, your phone, your laptop, your smart TV. If it connects to the internet, it should be protected. IP Vanish encrypts your connection and masks your IP address, helping keep your browsing private at home and on public Wi-Fi. And with no

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And he was like, yeah, it's totally real. And I was like, wow, I'm surprised that hasn't caught up with him yet. But I guess we're at it. It's finally getting there. It was in that video, though. So plenty of people should have known. has millions of views everybody's getting revealed bro so people did people did know about it it's just that yeah it's tearing now because it seems hypocritical that he yeah yeah he should he probably should

have shut up because obviously he remembers the stuff that he's done to these uh minorities and he should probably be like yeah people aren't gonna like me talking about this because you know I might as well be a cop you know because I'm beating people of color and it was probably really fun at a certain At a certain point though, like I would imagine if you're Mark Wahlberg, you're probably like, that was like 40 years ago. Yeah, yeah. You're probably thinking that's like kind of an eternity ago. It still doesn't excuse anything, but it's, I wouldn't necessarily call it hypocritical. It's not because you can also change.

I would say that. Look, it's, look, the whole time heals all wounds thing is like kind of, I guess a thing, but also like a lot of the problems. That's a lot of the time is like that's a long time ago, you know, I understand that. But that argument is also made to severely to diminish things that happened at the same time. So I feel like he should have, his comment should have been like, hey, once upon a time I was ignorant enough to do shit like this. And I saw things that that's not a big deal. But now as I've gotten older, I understand that I can't, I shit like this is just not okay. Yeah.

That's something he should have put out. You shouldn't just put out something like, oh, this is disgusting. what I'm seeing and I'm so apported. It's like, bro, you were, you blinded an Asian man, bro. Take a step back. It would have been pretty funny if he was like, man, even I support this. Like, what if Mel Gibson, like, what if Mel Gibson came out on Twitter? It was like, man, even I think the cops are stupid.

Yeah, these cops are. I mean, he does because they're the ones that caught him while he was drunk. And yeah, and he went on his anti-s. Semetic rant Oh, was it a Jewish cop? I don't know if the cop was Jewish, but I think he just started ranting about the world's problems while he was being pulled over or whatever the case was.

So there was something like that. I don't remember it in particular, but we just know that cops and anti-Semitism was involved in. Bill Gibson gets fucking uncanneled because he hates the bullies. Did you have more news at 11? Like he was trying to tell us this entire time. He makes the passion too. It's insane.

Passion of the Christ, too, starring Keith David and only Keith David again. Keith David's God and Jesus and the people that are nailing Jesus and Jesus, everything. Keith David is Jesus. Keith David is Jesus. Keith David is Pontchus Pilate. Keith David is the little cut on his abdomen that's in all the crucifixes. Oh, my God.

Steve David is Judas. I'd watch it. Judas, how could you betray me like this? I don't know, Jesus. I just wanted the silver. He constantly has to address everybody by their name as he's, talking to them because he knows it would be too confusing if he didn't.

I feel like that would be his final project and he'd have to lay him to race to rest because he couldn't do it. You know what's something that's like a really superficial thing that I kind of that always kind of bothers me, but I can't help but notice it. Whenever you're watching like a movie

or you're playing a game or like really any bit of fictional media and characters are talking to each other and they use their names. Oh yeah. That drives me nuts. It drives me nuts. Yeah, because like I, unless I'm trying to communicate with one of you over the, like, over this, where I'm trying to say like, hey, you know, Derek, what were you going to say? Because we're just, we're just on audio.

Yeah. And it's, it's the, but like in, in person, I can't remember the last time that I called somebody by their name frequently enough for it to be involved in every main story beat of my life. Yeah, I feel you. That's weird. It doesn't happen. And people just shove that shit in and it annoys me. Yeah. It's like a screenwriting thing that's like really odd.

It's like whenever like a character introduced, it's like Bill Mitchell, the famous one hit wonder of karate town. Well, it isn't you again. And it's like what? Who talks like this? No one says their names. No one says, like you never say, I don't call you Chris. I call you like bitch, goblin, troll. You should be dead.

You know, stuff like that. I don't call you Chris. I call you, you should be dead. Hey, you should be dead. The only time that you use someone's name is when you're yelling over them to get them to shut up. Yeah, you got to get their attention or something like that. When I need your attention is when I call. Like, when I'm like, hey, you know, when you're not, no, when I'm calling someone and me using like just pronouns doesn't get it, then I call them by their name to alarm them.

Yeah. Yeah. Dude, no one really annoyed me. and this it's a little bit of a different situation but kind of the same principle it was at the end of the Dark Night Rises like I already hated that movie and then it just was like

hey uh I like your name you should use it or something and then she just like pauses and says Robin and I was like what the fuck like who talks like that like it doesn't you can you know

you see the name you've already seen it like say the way that it should have been shot is like say you see the ID or whatever and you can see that his name's Robin but she just like says it she like pauses and then says his name like you know joseph gordon levitt's supposed to be like robin i guess and you don't

find out to the very end so it's like oh yeah like i like your real name you should use it he got so cheated robin he he did he got to be he got to be robin in theory yeah yeah it's so fucking sad he got to be hell he had to be batman's helper not even batman's helper robin he got the robin part at the end they gave it to him at the end after they busted all over him they're like Here you go. Now you're Robin. They shot strings of come on him and they spelled out Robin. That would have been better.

I actually would have a standing ovation. That would have redeemed the. I was already nervous because everybody else had this nervous energy because the Aurora shootings. Remember that? Oh, yeah. People had all this nervous energy in the theater and it was making me nervous because I was like, what are the odds that someone's going to come to my small-ass hometown and do some bullshit like this? But people are kind of being all like looking around.

They see somebody coming through the, like someone's returning from the restroom and everyone's kind of looking over. And I'm like, what the fuck, man? So it was already like a weird experience. And then on top of that, the movie was just, that movie, that movie doesn't get enough credit of how bad it is. You know what I mean? Oh my God. That's so mean. People don't, it isn't, people don't talk enough about, like say, people talk about, oh, Game of Thrones season eight and, and everything, you know, all these movies that are really terrible that would come out.

Batman versus Superman. but I was like, can we go back and talk about the Dark Night Rises because of the contrast between the Dark Night and the Dark Night Rises? It's like two different directors. It feels like a completely different movie. It's fucking awful. It's like if it's like,

it's like the opposite of what happened when you, when you went from PS3 to PS4. It's like, it's the whole, going from the Dark Night to the Dark Night rises was like one of the biggest downgrades I think I've ever seen in cinematic history as far as like sequel

like kind of like established like trilogies go Tom Schwer it's because the thing that bothers me about it is that like Spider-Man 3 is like a really bad movie but it's also hilarious and there's like reasons to watch it because it's kind of fun to watch

just even just out of like a sheer just like kind of like get together and just fuck around movie No one No one is doing that with the Dark Night Rises And no one is watching the Dark Night rises So it's just this This sad mediocrity I'm just saying on the outside

Because I didn't hate that movie I didn't hate that movie I didn't love it But I didn't hate it I didn't think it was Batman I mean I didn't technically hate it Because I don't have any passion for Batman at all That makes sense

I just remember watching it And being like this is This is nowhere near As good as the previous Like, it felt like a, it felt like you were watching an episode of like Breaking Bad and then you, you changed over to a fucking C.W. show. Oh, my God. Like, what the fuck? Why is Anne Hathaway here?

What is going on? Dude, I just want to hear the conversation that Chris Nolan and Tom Hardy had where it's like, yeah, I want you to put on a voice for Bain. And then he's like, yeah, like, what did you have a mind? I don't know. could you like sound like a fucking like you're in the circus or something like you're a fucking ringmaster

or could you like what the fuck I don't even understand what that voice is maybe there's some like underhanded Peter Malinue working on fable type shit where he's like we wanted to create a movie where people had to watch it with subtitles utilize our new

subtitle technology that scans your brain and beams like language directly into your synapses without even needing to read. Watch as the Dark Night Rises. That's pretty dope. Dude, I genuinely don't know. I didn't understand a single thing he said genuinely.

Like, I only know what he says because the subtitles exist. Bramah! I just, I feel so weird. I didn't, I had none of those problems in that movie. I was just watching and I was like, this is fine. I can't remember what you're saying, Twitter. I was born in the darkness molded by it I didn't see the other day till it was but I'm out of way wait wait you got a

fucking movie was just weird like the football player still playing football while the fucking all the world's well everything's collapsing around and he can't notice that his legs should be violently shaken to the point where they fucking burst he should have fell down he should not be running at all he should be fucking careening down into the pits of the earth. Like, there's no, like, all of that movie was just, the problem is it's just so ungrounded compared to, like, the Dark Night.

Like, the Dark Night was, like, weird and kind of hokey, but it was also, like, relatively grounded and relatively serious. It was a good time. The Dark Night Rise is just, like. This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs.

Vital Farms Pasture Raised Eggs, to be exact. My favorites, the only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at vitalfarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture.

Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle, and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts. Let's be honest. Buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated, sketchy, or low quality. That's why I want to tell you about mood.com. That's M-O-O-O-D-com. Mood ships federally legal cannabis straight to your door. No medical card, no hassle.

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more than I did Christopher Nolan's Bane. Like, I got, I got a, I understand, just like you see with Spider-Man 3, Joe Schumacher was going for just fucking campy schlock And as a kid I didn't like it Because Batman Forever was a little bit more serious And I thought what was this Batman Robin stuff

I felt like mature I guess You know how kids feel mature And even though they're fucking kids And I get it now though I can enjoy some nipples And I don't know what this other shit is So a bat credit cut Oh my God

Oh my fucking God I haven't heard that line in like 10 years. Actually, I haven't seen that movie in so long. It's been a while for me, too. Those shows, I never leave, I never leave the cave. I never leave the cave without it. Yeah.

So, like, like Batman. I was like, I don't like Batman anymore because this stuff. This is stupid. It was stupid. It was like Adam West stupid. Yeah, that is exactly where they're going for. It was like stupid that had like a grounding, like, it was stupid in a way that kind of made sense for the character

because the character has been interpreted in so many different ways. But like, there was. nothing that was, everything that was stupid in Dark Night Rises was just, was just stupid. Because it thought it wasn't. I have a theory that Chris Nolan was just trolling. You know? I don't think so.

I genuinely think that they had a plan and then like, he ledger died and then they were like, fuck. I mean, just explain Bain's voice to me. Like, what is that? I can't, I feel like, how was that not trolling? There's nothing. I mean, in fairness, in fairness, that is a pretty iconic voice

now. And it does, it had, it did stick around it became a meme back then it's gonna transcend it's gonna live for a long time man yeah maybe even ever it's like a meme for the wrong reason is anything a meme for the right reasons though yeah yeah yeah so I didn't I'd even bro that's

you're just upset because you love Batman yes you don't understand that fucking hurt me that hurt me that that fucking hurt me dude look look I'm gonna say this people don't like it I do not like Spider-Man and far from home I hated him and far from home because he was so not Peter

Parker that it bothered me a lot. So many things that happened in that movie were so like, this is not really what Peter Parker would do. I'm not the- The new ones are just not for our generation at all, man. I think they're not for people who grew up reading comics prior to very recently. They're just not built for those kind of fans.

They're built for people to either like really, really like action movies or people that don't really know the characters the way that they like, you know, even like... Well, they're built for the majority of people. I guess. I guess. Yeah. Because like even Dr. Strange.

Like, I love Dr. Strange. That was fun. That was a bitch in that movie. He was a bitch. I was like, this man, Dr. Strange is a fucking threat. I like the way they go about things in it. Like, I like how they tied the way things worked in their own universe. Like, how he used to time zone to get Dormammu in a trap.

That was really cool. I was like, that's cool. But I was just like, he's so weak. No, but like, you have this weird thing where you just like, you try. You want every movie to just be the comics. I don't want everybody to be the comics, but I want them to portray the characters. Because you're like, oh, these characters are so weak. And it's like, yeah, of course they're weak.

Because in the comics, they're just, it's anime shit. It's just bullshit. Not, dude. I think it's just like, they just don't put. Every character in the comics is stupid powerful for no good. Yo, that's not every power is. Every character is. Okay, sure.

Like, Captain America's portrayal is perfect, actually. Like, actually flawless. Like, that's fantastic. They portray him the way he is. Entirely. But when it gets to... Do you know why they're able to do that? Why is that?

It's because Captain America is just a guy. He's just a super soldier. He's just a strong, normal guy. Yeah. That's why they can do him well. They portray Tony pretty well. They portray Tony pretty well. They portray Hulk pretty well.

They portray Thor pretty well. But I think they're portraying those characters well. But then when it comes to people's single movies, particularly like the newer ones, I guess. That's mostly Spider-Man. Dr. Strange are the ones that had a lot. like a lot of problems are like how much they didn't feel like their own characters, you know? I guess.

That's how I, that's how I feel. But I've also, I've absorbed a ton of content from those characters over several decades. So I think that's why I have a very skew. I think that's probably my very skewed like amount of shit I've read of those guys. It's like, oh, I understand why. Yeah, I guess. It's got to mess you up. I get it.

Yeah. But it's just like you get, you get to a point, though, where it's like, when you're building a real universe, when you're building like a. a universe that's supposed to be believable and that's like live action and you're already dealing with magic and all this like crazy shit like these characters

if they were brought straight from the comic into the fucking real world would be just beyond jarring and just it would just fuck everything because every character could probably solve every single problem because they're all so strong they're all so comedically strong for no reason that's not Spider-Man though

Spider-Man is definitely not that kind of character Well Spider-Man's definitely not Spider-Man Well Spider-Man's one of the few He's not Yeah That's his thing

But I just didn't like his attitude But like fucking Tony Stark He's like growing armor out of his body And it's like what the fuck is happening I just didn't like Peter's attitude That was my mostly thing I didn't like how he didn't act like Peter Barker much He acted like some kid that just was like really

On The Avengers dick And it's like that's like the opposite of that character Like literally the opposite of who he is I understand. I get it. But, like, there are some, there are certain parts that are, like, even, like, stuff that they got directly from the comics, like, when, like, when in the most recent, in the last two Avengers movies, when Tony's armor just appears out of nowhere. And it's like, this is so stupid.

That's nanotech. Oh, my God. Fuck off. Nanotech is, like, the thing that everybody uses when they just can't explain something. Hell yeah. How, fucking, yeah. I don't know. I don't even understand that this is supposed to be really tiny robots.

Like, I don't know. Some shit like that. It just means, like, it just means, like, hey, you know, we. We want to do magic, but this character's not magic, so we'll just use nanomachines. Fuck off. I hate that, excuse. That's not exactly. And it looks so stupid.

It looks so dumb. Like, he takes his sunglasses off, and then the armor just spawns on him, like it's glitching in. It's like, what the fuck? Who designed this game? It crawls up him. It comes out his chest and down his body, bro. It doesn't just spawn in. He doesn't, like, do a dragon ball transformation that he's just in his armor.

His key doesn't form. I understand. I just don't. There are certain things. that I just don't really buy. Like even in a, even in a universe that's this fucking weird. And like, that's one of them. Like, I just don't believe.

That's the final straw. Magic, you can, magic's cool, but nanotech. Well, if they established, if they established that nanotech was like, hey, this is like some Asgardian shit. Like, this is like, uh, Stark Tech merged with like fucking, I don't know, some bullshit. Then at least like, all right, well, at least that's something. They were in space and Rocket had pretty much canned ship. He had like a thing in a can.

He was spraying and it was making a ship in Guardians 2. So I was just like, well, I'll let it. Did he really? Yeah. He was just fixing a ship like a canned spray pretty much. I was just like, oh shit, that's what's wild. Yeah, that was probably nanomachines too. How fuck they'll visit that all old 80s future stuff suggested that we'd have shit like that by now?

and all we have is just like riots that's all we got riots and we got we got we got better porn quality that's it oh yeah we got 4k that shit i can see i can see her pores on her pussy that's really nice nice that's exactly that's what i've been waiting for i've been waiting for that just makes it worse honestly imagine imagine a person that like that first sees 4k porn is like i'm so happy i finally get to see the hair follows on her pub this is fantastic It's too intimate, man. Like, that's too gross, man. I don't, they don't even look, they don't, they never look great ever.

I've never seen one that's like, oh, that's, now that, that's a real nice, real nice Vajay you got there. They always kind of look like this vagina and it's like, I don't really care how this looks. Unless it doesn't look like damaged. Like, fuck. Anyway, I think that's, uh, I think we got. through pretty much everything that everything that's being talked about.

So we'll let's move on to some questions, huh? Yeah. Let's do it. Let's hear it. The orc war boss rock Eads matcha, Jesus fucking. You people with your names, man.

Holy is that? I'm probably gonna, I'm getting to the point where I'm willing to hurt you. He wrote in, it says, sup, if you were a super villain, what would your powers be, your name be, and the hero that would stop you? Okay, well, no one would stop me.

Okay, wow. Because my power would be just completely uncounterable. You're just the worst fucking person, man. What? You'd make a video game out of a guy that just kills God and becomes God. That's it. Guy throws a rock at God's head, kills God, becomes God, can't be beat. There's be a bunch of heroes trying to fight you and dying.

No one wants the responsibility of being God. I don't want that. I mean, I would. I would take the responsibility. I just wouldn't do anything with it. It's like, oh, whatever. Yeah, I guess there's no responsibility for being God based on what we're saying.

I think I've talked about this, I think we probably answered a similar question to this before, but I feel like I would just want incredible persuasion. Like, beyond, like, I would want to be able to re-contextualize people's memories in their heads. Oh, yeah, you didn't mention something about this. Because I just don't, I really don't see how anybody would, like, I would, I'll give you a scenario.

Kingston, you're walking down the street, right? Oh, let's hear it. You're walking down with, like, your grocery bags. You've got fucking four pounds of bread for some reason because you just won't stop eating fucking bread. It's so good. And I walk up to you, right? I fucking take all your bread. I throw it down a sewer.

Throw it out an open manhole. Laugh at you. And then I piss on your shoes and sprint away. What are you going to do? I'm going to try to hurt you, obviously. You're going to try to hurt me, right? You're going to try to hurt me. The first thing you're going to do is you're going to be like, yo, what the fuck?

And then you're going to come at me. But then see in that moment I'm going to re-contextualize that memory and I'm going to make it so somebody else did that And you're just going to be standing there like Wait where'd that person go Where'd they go? I saw the person who did it and that's not him

I know I know because my brain is telling me this And then you slowly descend into madness Trying to figure out who that guy was You're just going to be the guy that gives everybody A immense second thought Yeah And kill and destroy people's minds You're a fucking demon.

Yeah if I wanted somebody gone If I wanted to kill somebody, I wouldn't even do any. I would just do something really heinous. And I would just do something universally heinous. Like something that everybody would disapprove of. And then I would just re-contextualize that memory as that person doing it. And then just watch the world descend on that person. You're the worst.

The worst. That's evil. That's just evil. I would be fucking unstoppable. You couldn't stop me. There would be no fucking. I wouldn't even have a name because I would defeat the purpose. No, you would be stopped.

You'd only be stopped by people who just have spectated outwardly. Like, if you fucked up enough to do something like that around someone and they saw the outside, they were like, oh shit, that guy just told him he didn't do that, but I just saw him do that. What the fuck? Like, that's the only way, because no one could just up front come in contact with it because then they're just going to get redirected. Yeah. So no one could come in contact with me. No, no. What happened is like you would, let's say like this, if you're doing that, right?

And then people already know you're doing it. Like, somebody's like, okay, this guy did that. He's like, no, he didn't. He's like, how does that make sense? And he goes through the steps. He's like, that guy must have done that. My memories aren't telling me he did it. So he must have done something to me.

But then everybody's remembering what I want them to remember. But all you can, is it like, how do you broadcast? Like, what scale can you broadcast your power? Like, see anybody watching blocks? I don't know. Can people hear you? I would say it's focused. I would say I would be able to focus it.

But like even let's say like it's even just one person, right? And then the cops bring me in. and then they put me in the fucking room and they're interviewing me the cops is going to be like well this isn't the right guy yeah I think it's people that's come in contact with you so like if someone would have to see you on the outside

yeah but then no one could no one could do any that's what I'm saying like all the consequences that exist would be completely forfeit I don't think so if somebody could just shoot you yeah but then they'd be fucked well then yeah but then you would be destroying a whole universe taking people's minds

and turn them upside down I don't see a problem with that I don't see a problem with that You could recreate the world entirely So that's pretty powerful Yeah definitely What about you Derek? What do you want? I've thought long and hard about this

I'm a little bit conflicted All I know is that I want Sexual powers You know I want like things that or Just make me the king of sex But I don't know if I want to be like I don't know if it's if I deserve to have all that power

Like, say, I just, I'm so charismatic that I just get all the sex all the time. Right. And, like, I've thought about, like, say, I've had a name, like, an alias, like, love machine for, like, a long time, like, L-U-V, M-S-H-E-E-N. So I've always thought, like, what if I was just that? And then I cure the world with sex. Because, you know, everybody's just all pent up and angry. And then I just have sex with everybody. Right.

I think that, like, I think that, like, I think that would really heal the world. But I could also be selfish, though, and just, you know, only have sex with the women. And, you know, I guess the men stay angry. But maybe I would just take one for the team and actually just literally have sex with everyone. And once you finish, once I finish, you are, you're just, you're enlightened. Like, you start crying and you realize that all of the world's anguish, everything, all the atrocities. Like, it's just like, what have we been doing? and then everything that you've done wrong in your life

which is like, what have I done? And then you're done, you're cured. Think about how good that would be. Like, you've just been serviced and now you're fucking like, you're basically at peace. That's deep, honestly. That's deep. Like, I was, I was just thinking it was going to be fucking bitches and, like,

not trying to fix problems, but, like, you want to really fix things. Chris Over here wants to become the fucking complete supreme reader, fucking fear of the planet, but you're trying to heal the world. I'm not trying to become the leader of anything. I never said that. Okay, okay, sure. I mean, you want to manipulate things enough. to where you're basically

You're kind of... Yeah, you're fucking lucky. Yeah, that doesn't mean I want to rule anything. No, you're just going to be able to do everything you want without any consequences and be able to make people do what they want for you, so, you know. Yeah. So, you know, pretty much control everybody.

Well, I mean... You're controlling people's thoughts, Chris. You're pretty much the ruler of everything. You can make anything sound bad if you worded that way. No, no, Chris. Yours is special, but it's okay. You can. You can.

You can. Give me like a wholesome, give me, give me one wholesome activity. Give me like a wholesome thing. Just having a picnic. This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs to be exact. My favorites, the only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living. their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at VitalFarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture.

Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle, and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts. Running shoes online can feel like a guessing game, but Marathon sports makes it easy to get the right gear without stepping into a store. At MarathonSports.com, you'll find the same trusted brands runners and walkers rely on, including Brooks, Hoka, New Balance, A6, Sokony, and more. Whether you're training for a race, walking for fitness, or just need everyday comfort,

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Is it? Yeah. How? Because you're just fucking, you're probably like putting a little blanket on the fucking grass. You're suffocating like millions of ants. You're fucking throwing rappers all over the place. You're definitely not going for the garbage can because why would you?

I mean, it's so far away. No, no, you see, Chris, what happens is this is a branch. Fucking, also, also, also, also, there's a pandemic and going outside and gathering with a bunch of people is fucking really dangerous. Also, there's riots, so maybe staying inside is probably the safest thing to do. You're fucking yourself up. Don't go to a picnic. L-O-L-L-Nice reach. You can't use my meme against me, you piece of shit.

Yeah, I did. I did. Okay. So if I had powers, another hand. Oh, baby. Vox, cut out everything that Sweeney is about to say. Okay, if I had powers, I would probably, for ever since I was a little kid, I've really been fascinated with like, this is going to sound super. This is like actually like me as a person, not me as a demon.

I've always been really fascinated with like the light spectrum, the visible light spectrum. I liked the idea of just light in general. So I wish. and then I found about the Green Lantern. Like Green Lantern is like, that's kind of cool. But I wish I could absorb light and then project it back at people concussively in like any form of any color along the spectrum.

So you'd want to hurt people. You want to hurt people. Yeah, that's what it sounds like. Oh, sort of like that. I'd like, it's pretty much like a really, like a simple Marvel power. It's called Photoconesis, which people have. And I wish I had that kind of power

because it just seems really cool. Yeah, just to blast lighted people. I feel like being charged with light would be ridiculous. You probably could do some wild shit. You just had a bunch of photons pumping through your body like fucking like calories do I like that really fucking take you to the next level, you know? So you just want to hurt people. You want to hit people with light.

Both of you want to fuck people up. You're villains. I don't want to be anything. I'm not going to be a hero or villain. I'm just going to stay out of people's problems. So you just want to be like a mutant, like an X-Men where you're just like, you just have powers. And I'd be like, this is dope. People would be like, can you help me?

I'd be like, I don't know, man. If I help you, I could throw things out of whack for the whole entire world. I'm sorry and I got to be pinned under a truck and I'd be like I'm out of here later I'll fly away Well I guess that's well the question was super villain So oh wait you wait you were specifically supposed to be super villain Yeah that's what the question was

Oh it was so long ago at this point That like we forgot but whatever If I was a villain oh if I was a villain I would just make explosions That's it well I want to like nuclear level explosions I want to change my answer because if I'm making love to people And I'm a villain I think I'm just sexually assaulting everyone and I don't want that Sweeney's Magic Weenie wrote in he says hello Martin Luther King

Malcolm X an obvious leader of a Puerto Rican drug cartel okay so that's cool I obviously got the one who's Malcolm? It doesn't matter it doesn't matter I got the bad one so what are you complaining about I mean I don't want to be assassinated so I'd rather be the Puerto Rican drug lord or whatever that's so cute you think we're not assassinated they're definitely fucking assassinated They're definitely fucking killed. Drunk cartels.

They're fucking king. They're king assassinated. Well, aren't they assassinating people? They're not the assassinate. Well, yeah, but they're probably both. They're both, probably, yeah. We're just assassinated. Those are assassinated.

At least they have the chance to change their paradigm, you know. We're just stuck. I guess so. Anyway, he says, would you take a sum of a billion dollars on the condition that once a week for the rest of your life, a furry will attempt to yiff you? What's a if? I'm gonna be real, I don't know.

Like, I feel like I should know this. I don't know what that is, but it doesn't sound a billion dollars? Pretty much it's like furry sex, I'm guessing. Oh, so like, wait, really? Like, just straight up. So for the rest of your life, a furry will attempt to fuck you, basically.

Oh, yeah, that's what it, because it's, it's an automatapeia of, like, like, a hump, I think. Oh, that's so fucking disgusting. Young, incredibly fuckable furry. Oh, he goes on, he says, he says, it will not stop during that visit until it is either dead

or you have been porked. I would take the billion dollars. I could probably kill it. You're kidding me? A billion dollars... See, here's the thing. People don't really understand what a billion dollars is.

It's changed the world money. People think it's hilarious. Like, people think like if Amazon, like, if, like, Jeff Bezos lost, like, a billion dollars that's somehow like a lot to him. Dude, a billion dollars is more than any individual

could ever conceivably need ever. Well, yeah, think about it. A thousand million. That's stupid. That's stupid to think about a thousand million dollars. That is so, that is so borderline obnoxious. Can a furry not be just as a furry?

Huh? No. It's not a furry. What the hell are you talking about? Like you're a furry, but when you take your clothes off, when you take your fucking fur suit off, you're a person, you know?

No, no, you're still a furry. Right? Like, can they just not be? be dressed as furries? No, that's stupid. Then that's just like a regular person is banging you. Well, if you're gonna, well, I mean, come on. Give me, give me some leeway. You guys know how I feel about that group. So you wouldn't have a thousand million dollars just to get yift. I don't want to get, I don't want to fuck a. Dude, it's not even, it's not even you have to fuck it. It's just a furry will attempt to do it. I don't want to kill him either. I don't

have to fight somebody off every fucking week. You could do like a, like a, like a, like a Harry Potter thing where you just trap him in something. We're like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, I'm, um, The thing is this, look, the thing is this, Ferries frighten me. And when I'm frightened, I don't think. And when I don't think I could harm people. I don't want to harm someone. This is a person under that,

disgusting suit. You don't understand what a billion is. You don't. I know, I know what a billion is. I understand. Billion big money. I would take the billion, but I'd be like,

God damn, here we go again. I'd be upset about it, but I would deal with it. Dude, take a portion of that of one million and higher private security. You're right. Dude, not even. Not even.

Literally just pay a couple thousand dollars to send him somewhere and then just that's it. Well, I'm imagining the furry is supplying the money though. So maybe they can't be killed. Well, you've got an interesting imagination because it doesn't say that here. Well, where's the billion coming from, bitch? Just the fucking hypothetical money man. You got a suit stipulations, Chris, because what happened is there's always an easy way out of every single problem being come into. Especially when they encounter is money.

You can just pay somebody off. What you have to do? You have to think of if I'm getting this billion dollars and this furry is trying to give me, that's pretty random how they're both at the exact same time. And they're both a part of the same question. So I would assume I'm going to have to deal with this furry.

I'd be like, hey, can you not fuck me? But can we talk? We have intimate conversation. You're the guy that goes to an improv comedy class and says no to everybody's suggestions. No, I wouldn't. I'd love improv. This show is improv.

You know that, right? I'm not saying no to anything. Okay. Okay, sure. What about a more realistic scenario where the furry... All right, so the furry is a, you know, a millionaire, hundreds of millions of dollars, not a billionaire because, you know, that's just kind of ridiculous.

But let's just say that a furry approaches you, listens to the snark tank, he's like, hey, sweetie, you know, with that stupid wolf head on and stuff like, I'll pay you $20 million if I could just eat your ass. ass in my fur suit. Like, so it's literally not even like, there is no actual tongue touching your ass, but it's just the helmet of, or whatever, the costume is just, just basically ramming against your ass.

Would you take $20 million for that? What do you got to ask me this? My man. What are you got to do this? $20 million. I don't have to work. I don't have to work for the rest of your life. You don't have to do shit.

You can buy your girlfriend, whatever you want. You can buy a house. You pay it off. You just, literally, you just, you're sitting pretty for the rest of your life. If a furry just digs its ass, it digs its nose in your ass. Come on, man. The thing about that is that like, yeah, I would do it. I would do it.

Who am I kidding? Like, as much as much as I try to act like I'm full of hate. One, fairies are just people under the fucking disgusting armor that they wear. They clad themselves in. And then two, $20 million is a lot of money. I'm just going to feel so weird during that process of this guy just rubbing his fucking fur nose up against my ass. It's going to be so fucking weird. And every time I spend the money, I'm going to have to think about that.

I find it fucking staggering that you submitted to the $20 million so much faster than the fucking billion. Because that ferry has to fuck me. It has to fuck me. It's going to try to fuck me constantly. I don't want to have to constantly. Dude, one day I'm just not going to be on my A game and I'm going to get fucking trounced and fucked. That's what happens, Chris. You're not always going to be 100% every time.

That's what happened. That fucking, as you're learning, that furry's learning also. All right. And it's going to come at you with different strategies every time to try to fuck you. Hey, yo, right, real quick, I'm going to have to make a soundboard of you saying fuck me. There was. Why? There's too many.

It's too many good ones. It needs to be used. Fuck me? Why? Yes, because you said it with so much passion. It's like he's going to try to fuck me. Somebody made a soundboard for me, and it's on iTunes,

or like the Apple App Store or whatever the fuck. Oh my God, that's disgusting. Yeah. Somebody asked me, like, in an email, like, several months ago, it's like, hey, can I do this? And I was like, yeah, I guess so, you know, I don't care. And then I found it on my subreddit. It's like, oh, it's real.

I was like, oh, shit. It's fucking insane. You're in that, too, by the way, Swaney. You're in some of it. It's got five fucking reviews, too. Oh, my God. Isn't it weird Does it cost anything?

No, it's just a free little piece of shit Who the fuck would pay for that? Why would you pay for something That like not only is like Less content But like you can get the full context for free It's like so stupid But uh

I don't know I don't even know what the fuck we're doing at this point Derek Derek Zes Zunj what What is this name Derek Zunid Nuzenga

Zuzzi oh my god Fuck you Zuniga Fuck you I think it is I think it is Are you reading it? No

No, I'm just saying it I don't even have the talk pull of them I'm gonna see that shit I think it's Zuni But I can't say that You can't Yeah, what is wrong with you bro? Yeah, what's your problem dude

You don't understand What's happening right now? What's happening? Oh my God You're so insensitive dude It's kind of fucking ridiculous Anyway, whatever, fuck off Hi there Chris Sweeney

And you fucking imposter I don't know what that means. Is that like a reference? I got a question for y'all. In your guys' opinion, which is worse? People who base their entire personality slash identity off of geek culture slash fandoms or people who base their entire personality

and identity off of politics. Ooh, politics. Do you think so? I think. Hell, fucking. So you're saying Martin Luther King is worse than Chris Chan. I'm saying that the,

and it's not politics. This is social stuff. That's not. That's not exactly the same thing. What are you saying MLK isn't politics? He's politics, but it's not only politics. It's also social problems. You know, social-

Yeah, social justice. And social stuff are not exactly the same thing. They coincide quite often, but they're not the exact same thing. Social problems are politics. But they're not exactly. Like, they coincide. I don't particularly count those are the same thing. Because if I'm talking about simply problems that are happening with people of a certain culture,

I'm not talking about anything, I'm not talking about like, politics in the sense of like these policies. That's not necessarily just what politics is though. Politics is everything intersecting. That's like the whole point of it. I would say that Chris Chan's pretty, pretty, you know, pretty different. But I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I like,

geekdom. I don't really like thinking about, you know. I just levels to this shit though. Isn't there just levels to this shit on both sides? Of course. Or I, that's very true. I think they're both like equally egregious, honestly. but it's the people because like say I wouldn't compare like somebody like MLK to

fucking Chris Chan or I was gonna fucking Chris Chan you fucking daft screwhead I'm upset that you did that actually I'm now that I'm that I'm lingering on it and I'm I'm getting nowhere for what you just did you're dick you did that you're the one who said no you did that you don't fucking blame me there there he goes again with the nose don't fucking blame I didn't say no I said don't Don't. Oh, yeah.

Okay. What if, what if, what if MLK was a, like a, like a K-pop stand or something? You know what? No one, every, every person, every person that I love has disappointed me. So I'm sure. I'm sure he would be. I'm sure. All these fucking posters and shit.

And he was like, any time like, okay, MLK's fucking trending. Like, all right, everybody. Get your fucking fan cams ready. What did they? What would they fan cam in the 60s? You talk about a black man being killed. Oh, no. Racial prejudice.

And then there's just some teenage Asian girl dancing and putting up peace signs over her facing. I'm like, wow. That's what I needed right now. That's what that's going to get me through this fucking problem. This fucking 17-year-old idol. Dogs, pictures of, or what do you call it, footage of dogs being sick on protesters and fire hoses

being fucking like just pointed at them and shit and then fucking he's just fucking did they have video cameras like say readily available for citizens where he's just no no just filming a let's just a let's just say kpong it did exist in the 60s so he's just that grainy black and white footage is being fucking played over and displayed with all these civil rights atrocities happening one of the most uncomfortable thoughts ever is just the thought of a gif in the 60s. I don't know what it is about that premise that is just really...

It's probably gonna be extraordinarily racist. That's why you're scared. No, no, no, it's just because like, I don't... No, it's just because, like, I don't understand, like, how... Like, how it would exist, and in, like, what medium would it even be... Like, it just plays before movies. Or, like, on TV, just this silent, looping, really low-quality image of a fucking Korean girl dancing

to fucking... social justice captions and then it goes back to fucking I don't know leave it to beaver like that's so unsettling I can't I can't do that I think if if it's

if it's not your job this is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain brought to you in part by Vital Farms Let's talk eggs Vital Farms pasture raised eggs to be exact My favorites the only kind I've got in my fridge No joke and here's why These aren't your average eggs

The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name.

Type it in at vital farms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're comming. committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle, and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts. Great shots start with confidence.

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It's kind of strange to be like completely all-encompassed. It's fucking shit. That's what it is. Even if it's your job, it shouldn't all-encompass you because you just be more than just those things. Like if you're working at fucking Target and like you just post nothing but political shit all the time, it's just like, what the fuck are you doing? Like figure yourself out, dude. Like, yeah. What the thing is that even people that post political shit don't, like, even if that's their job. Like you, that's your job. You don't post all the time. Same thing with like, that's not all you are. No one's all anything. If you're all one thing, that's fucking scary. Yeah, basically. I remember, that's a good way. You know that the, that, what is it? She's basically like a clone, like the Fox News clones. They're all like blonde. and hot. Oh, all the,

yeah, the hot Fox News ladies. Tommy Lauren. Tommy Lauren. Yeah, Tommy Lauren. She posted a, it was like on Instagram, her Instagram story.

She was singing along to damn, 21 Savage. And like, people made a huge fucking deal of it. And it was just one of those things because, you know,

of her job and what she represents, that it was hard for people to fathom that, oh yeah, she listens to hip hop in her leisure. And I think that's the problem, like kind of what, Sweeney,

what you're bringing up is that, yeah, I understand what this person kind of portrays, but behind the scenes, there are people and they listen to music. So, and it's like, it's just weird to me.

I mean, I'm like, I feel you. I feel you on that because like that's just kind of shame that you assume that people don't do that. But like, Fox News is,

you know, you're notorious for, uh, you know, using, uh, using hip hop. as a tool to discredit people.

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, maybe she's done that too. I don't know. I can't speak on that. Like, I don't know if she's did that, but like I've watched several times. There's definitely examples. They use hip hop.

They use it on Kendrick Lamar. Well, they do. Literally post music about uplifting the black community. And they were like, oh, yeah. Fox News has been a target for a real long time for me. Like, I've always hated them. But like they do a lot of dumb ridiculous shit Like say I saw something recently

I think it was one of the older blondes Were just talking about It was Drew Brees versus LeBron James And that shit was silly Because it was literally the same thing Like a rich Um A sports athlete

Speaking about politics And then say Drew Bree's good LeBron James bad And it was like that shit Or I'm like that's silly How does people not figure the shit out yet? Like Or the people who are like

Stay in your lane Yes And it's like, what lane? What are you talking about? Did you see that fucking that thing with Tom Morello who like tweeted, you must have seen this, right? No, no, what do you do? So Tom, Tomarillo is obviously, he's the guitarist for Rage Against the Machine,

and he has a guitar, and on the back of it it says, fuck Trump. And some guy's like, another musician pretending to be a political expert. And he's like, and it's like, have you never listened to Rage Against the Machine? To Rage Against Machine? Also, I think that dude, like, has like a degree. agree in political science like a like a like a strong one like I'm pretty sure same thing with the guy from bad religion actually he's like a teacher oh yeah yeah Jim was a teacher I knew that

yeah yeah so it's like so it's so it's like how do you I don't understand how you're a fan of rage against the machine and you're surprised that they're talking about politics it's like that's they can't be a fan they're whole they can't be a fan of rage against machine that doesn't make sense like that's that's what's one of their whole albums literally bro you know it's up the whole album. Yeah. That's the whole premise. It's everything that they do. I don't think they put out a non-political song. Do they think what do they think the machine is? I like to I like to imagine, I like to imagine some guy, some guy thinking like man, these guys really hate technology. Wow. It's like, what? I really thought it was like an ATM machine. He's like fuck yeah,

do those things. They take like three dollars when we withdraw money. Fuck those things. Fuck, man. I didn't even realize radios could be gorillas. And it's like You know what's crazy? I'm talking about the whole ATM thing I've never used an ATM that takes money out I refuse to use it I just refuse

What does that mean? I mean sometimes you got it Like anyone that like takes money out For like when you go to like a taco shop You know you're gonna get money To buy some tacos And it's like oh it'll be a $2 charge I'm like suck my dick and I leave

I mean I'm not paying you machine I walk the fucking extra mile to Chase, take money out there, walk back hungry. That's fucking... I'm gonna enjoy the food more. I will gladly pay $2 for convenience. I love convenience more than anything, but I agree.

I do the same thing. I will not use a fucking ATM that's gonna take $2. They're charging me to access my money. Fuck off. Yeah, but it's not... It's not... I understand what you're getting at, but it's... It's just like anything else where if it's the more convenient it is, they're going to charge you for that convenience.

Like a fucking convenience store Then don't show me Don't show me that Lie to me hide it Don't tell me you're gonna fucking do that So So how do they go about that You're gonna withdraw 20 bucks

And then it just says 22 without telling you that it's taking two bucks No what happened is I withdraw it Then I get my bank statement letter on that month It was like I cost $2 dude I'm like oh my God are you serious I didn't know that And then I'll be mad about it then

But it's already too late you know What am I gonna do? okay i guess it's it's it's nice to be lied to i guess every now and then every now and then a little white lie helps yeah i know i i get it i really do that's why

uh paypal like has like it like delays takes my money out of my account and i like it sometimes or it's like things are pending and i still feel like oh yeah i'm responsible and then it's still there takes it later and then i'm like fuck it feels good at the in the beginning yeah yeah i totally get it Yeah. That's my uncle's side.

All right. Let's, okay. Moto Zealot wrote in. He says, would you rather die every single day but wake up like nothing happened or die at the end of your life only to restart it all over again with the only memory you have being the occasional deja vu? This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain. Brought you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs to be exact.

My favorites. The only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They live in their best life.

That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously. Side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at VitalFarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture.

Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle, and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts.

Let's be honest. Buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated, sketchy, or low quality. That's why I want to tell you about mood.com. That's M-O-O-O-D-com. Mood ships federally legal cannabis straight to your door. No medical card, no hassle. And here's the kicker. The quality is better than anything you'll find at your local dispensary.

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That's M-O-O-O-D.com to get started. Die every single day. Yeah. I thought that was pretty obvious. Like, I don't want to do all this shit again. No, dude. That's actual reason. Okay, I'm about to get deep for a second.

Here we go. Here we go. Speed your peace. No, I just disagree with you guys. Like, I don't... Dying fucking... I imagine dying sucks. No, it's the opposite

Dying's fucking like When you die Your brain like releases all the happy chemicals It's like the best feeling in the world apparently It depends on how you fucking die I don't even know how apparently works You can't really dictate that But I just don't want to

That's what the word apparently means What it what? I don't know how like Because how do you're gonna know They apparently of dying No one's ever fucking come back and told you Oh based on dying it's like this Kikston you're a fucking you're studying to be a medical professional

Aren't you You know that you know what's the brain does when it dies. But Chris, you're saying it feels good apparently. That's based on like someone might have told you that. But the thing is that we don't know what dying feels like because that shit might get released. And then it might just all be gone and it hurts. But we know, but we know what that chemical does.

What those things do. We know what those things do. We don't know the context of dying. Look, all you're talking about is literally dying and not, you're talking about being dead, not dying, which is the process. Which that can mean anything. You can be getting gutted, which. is one of the most most painful things ever and what if you have to get gutted every day

or what if you're like what if you're like Prometheus in Greek mythology where a fucking giant bird eats your innards your entrails every day and then you're revived like I would I would be a fucking I'd be a millionaire first off because I would be making content about this I would just kill I would kill myself every day

and then I would make a ton of money fucking morbid and then I would get to the point The problem is you're too liberal with these theories. Like you think that like this is just going to be a free fucking ride. Like I think I think what needs to happen is what you're doing is you're lawyering. Like there's a there's a guy named, um, Infinite Elginensity. He's a fitness YouTuber, but he's like a troll and stuff. Is that his birth name?

Is that his birth name? Fitness. Yes, his name is fucking fitness and fitness. Infinite Elgin intensity. That's his full fucking name. My name is fitness. No, no, no. He's, anyway, I don't even remember what else.

Okay, no, no, okay. So he's also like a lawyer or a paralegal or something, and he does these lawyering questions. Like he asks scenarios, people ask him scenarios like this, and he needs to weasel his way out of it. So people try to word it in a way that you can't get out of it at all. And I feel like these people that are writing these questions in just aren't going the extra mile to make things more difficult

because you're just assuming, oh, just die every day. That's totally fine. Like, well, what kind of fucking question? What kind of choice is that if it's not like anything fucked up? You know, if there's no fucked up shit attached to it. We're like, yeah, and just going to release chemicals and it's fine. Like, well, would I want to just relive my life over again? I'm like, I think you're missing the point, bro.

I really do. What's the point? I think the point is dying. Typically, people are frightened. people don't want to die when it's happening they're like please don't take me I don't want this to be over unless they've been suffering or some shit

so you're gonna have to deal with that every day no no well here's well no you won't because the reason why dying is so scary and why people don't and why people are afraid of it is because they don't experience it on a daily basis if something's happening to you every single day chances are you're probably going to be fine with it

by like the fourth day fifth day max It depends on what's happening. Like if you were like say like I said, Prometheus, if you're getting eaten alive every fucking day, you're not going to get used to that. Also, I'm sure dying and killing yourself repeatedly is not good for your mind.

I'm positive. That's not good for your psyche. No, it's probably, it probably is the best thing for your psyche. I feel like it's not. Because you have all the answers, man.

Okay, Chris, how are you dying? Here's the question. How are you dying every day? Because this is what seems like the disconnect. All sorts of things. I would like dive head first off a building. I would,

I would, like jump in front of a train. Uh-huh. Okay. I would drown myself. Okay. I would, like, in crazy,

like I would, like, tie, like, weights to my feet and, like, jump in the pool and stuff. Okay. And then everybody has to wake up the next day and, like, the police arrive and their kids crying.

And then I just wake up the next day and I'm in the fucking pool house, like, getting a tan. And all these people are traumatized. You would, you would literally, Okay, so besides the Chris being a fucking maniac

The scary thing I will admit The scary thing would be that that would probably not go unnoticed And the government would probably try to find me And they'd probably try to test shit on me That's the one thing that I would be really concerned about Genuinely The thing about me is that I would hate to have to die And then lose all my memories

That shit sounds like the most unfun thing ever That I like the idea of the deja vu It almost sounds like a fucking video game Where you're like slowly That doesn't sound good because then like you get it. Imagine, okay, imagine you get a moment of Deja Verborn and you remember your mother. You remember all the love your mother gave you all of a sudden. And then you're like, I don't know if this is real or not.

I want to meet this woman who cared for me, but I don't know if I'm going to frighten her because I don't look like me. And then you're just constantly having to deal with these thoughts that just showing up in your brain that were yours, but they don't, they're not valid because you're not you anymore. That would, maybe. That just sounds terrible. That would drive you. That would drive you crazier than dying every day. I don't believe that at all.

I don't believe. I think you're exactly. I think you don't understand how terrible it is probably drowning. I don't think you understand. I don't think you would kill you. I don't think you understand how time works. If you're infinitely coming back to life, that's a lot,

that's a fucking long time to have consistent doubts about where your fucking brain comes from and like where your memories exist and like whether or not you've lived before. That's like an, that's an eternity. That is why, that is the reason why people who are like, immortal in fiction go insane because they can't handle that.

But Chris, think of it like this. Think of it like this. If you, let's say you jump in your pool, right? With fucking cinder blocks on your feet. Because, you know, you're a dumb ass. You're not thinking about that. You jump in a deep ocean, right? You're going to come back to life in that ocean

and then die again. And then you're going to come back to life and then die again. I don't think of, back up. That's not how that. It can be how that works. Back up. This is what I just re-referial.

This is what I just reread the question. I think how it works is it's literally a reset. So you wake up as if nothing happened. So meaning that you don't even remember dying. Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. So I think that's worse because you are just experiencing sheer death every single time with no, you can't brace for it at all.

You don't get used to it because it's like you're dying the first time. So you still game for that shit, Chris? That's not what the wording implies. I mean, yeah, you would read it again, bitch. Would you rather die every single day, but wake up the next day like nothing happened? You wake up the next day like nothing happened. It doesn't say anything about whether or not you remember it. See, you're lawyering, dude.

You're fucking... If you're stating like nothing happens, that means that that moment didn't happen. That means you experienced that didn't happen. But it says like... It says like nothing happened. Then what does it mean? Then what the fuck is the point of the statement being shaped the way it is? It's going to be like, well, like.

It's like I felt it. sleep, well, you pretty much fell asleep. It's not exactly the same thing. We didn't close all the fucking loopholes. Let's just say it can't be like nothing happened if you remember. That can't fucking, those two things can't co-bes it. So it's just a normal day then. So then it doesn't matter because I would just die and I would have my one death.

And it wouldn't impact me at all the next day. I would be fine. But you technically wouldn't be fine. Personally, you think you would be fine. but let's just say from I guess would you okay here's the weird thing because does this mean

you're affecting everything around you because obviously if everything goes back to normal like as if nothing happened then that must mean the universe is fucking also rewining every time too yeah are you the main focal point are you in the loop are you in the universe

so I wouldn't be able to traumatize people and the government and the government wouldn't come after me and you wouldn't progress at all in life you would just die and come back and die and come back. But I would be... That sounds horrible.

No, but it wouldn't be horrible because you wouldn't, you wouldn't be any, you would be none the wiser that any of that is happening. It would just be as if you're going through a normal day. You would, your life would be basically unchanged from your perspective. Because if you're waking up the next day and it's as if nothing happened, then it's just another day and the scenario is basically not happening. Destroyed. I think I would rather just live again.

It's a repetitive moment. It would be like you would die. Would time repeat itself? or would it just be you repeating dying every day? I don't know, man. That's stupid. That's a dumb question, dude. I'm sorry, bro.

I definitely did, I don't know, I'm pretty proud of that lawyering that I just did. Yeah, of course you are. Fucking snake. That's pretty good. I wouldn't say that that was bad. John White Boy Extraordinary Rodin. We have enough white boys, dude. I'm sorry.

Go ahead. Yeah, just skip this. Fuck this. Whoa He says Hello skin, fat, and muscle Oh, damn Well, it's really just a compliment to Derek

It is a compliment to me But I feel like an imposter Because I'm pretty fucking fat right now So, but carry on He says, what games You think big biceps? Jesus, that hurt my feelings Oh, big deal, shut up

What games do you think are objectively bad Yet you still enjoy, i.e. for me, it's Resident Evil 6 We were just talking about Resident Evil 6 Like a couple episodes ago Yeah, I think we did He was talking about Leon's segment It was not so, it was kind of fun Yeah

This is Leon, he's a cool character Yeah, I think that's largely There was this game On the 360 That was not good at all It was called Eat Lead the return of Matt Hazard It was like this satire

It was basically just naked gun But a video game Was it that game with a guy To Cursed a ton? No, oh that's a rogue warrior Okay No, this was like It was just like a satire

It was like a parody game, which we don't really see really ever anymore. But you were basically just this 80s action, this 80s video game action star. And you were making the jump to 3D games, but like none of your games are selling anymore. So you're just this washed up asshole. And you're basically just trying to save your franchise.

But it's just this third-person shooter that has like all these like, they're like these 2D enemies that like turn to the side and become invisible because they're 2D and they're like, you fight like cowboys and like just all these like really weird enemies it's genuinely hysterical

it probably hasn't aged super well because I probably thought it was funny in like you know late middle school early high school it's probably not really that funny but I remember liking it and it's backwards compatible

so I'm actually I'm thinking I might jump into it again just out of curiosity okay what about you what about you Derek a game that's just like, you know, there's a game, I don't know. I feel like a lot of people enjoyed this game, but it didn't really have much to it

because it was just like a flash animation. It was developed by Instorm. And it was called Elf Bowling. And all you did was you were just Santa and you, and elves were the pins, and you would just kill them. Like, they would just taunt you and stuff.

And I remember playing that game so much. But I, there's, there's no way that's, it's a stupid game. I know it's dumb But I just remember having like An amazing time with it Just because I was probably like

Fucking 12 or 11 or something Yeah I'm looking at it now It's like they get mutilated Yeah It fucks them up pretty bad You get a strike And Santa celebrates and shit

It It was great Yo the way they pick up The way they pick up the elves Is they lock their heads In this little cage And they drag him to the top of the screen They drag him to the top of the screen

Yeah, that was I had a good time I actually I think I want to I'm probably going to try to download it because it's been I can't even It's fuck it's been decades I guess That reminds me of fucking That uh do you remember that

That uh I think it was called Bush shootout It was like a flash game where you played as like This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain Brought you in part by Vital Farms Let's talk eggs Vital Farms pasture raised eggs to be exact My favorites

the only kind I've got in my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. type it in at vitalfarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about.

So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle, and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts. Let's be honest. Buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated, sketchy, or low quality. That's why I want to tell you about mood.com.

That's M-O-O-D.com. Mood ships federally legal cannabis straight to your door. No medical card, no hassle. And here's the kicker. The quality is better than anything you'll find at your local dispensary. Yeah, I said it. Whether you're into edibles, concentrates, flour, or just looking to explore, you'll find it all at mood. And it's not just the variety that makes them stand out.

Every product is sourced from small American-owned, family farms that care deeply about what they grow. It's cannabis you can trust, delivered discreetly, and ready to elevate your mood. And because you're a listener, you get 20% off your first order. Just head to mood.com. That's M-O-O-O-D.com to get started. George W. Bush and Condoleezza Rice and you were just like shooting Al-Qaeda in the White House? Yeah, I remember that game.

Dude, it was such a popular. It was on Newgrounds. It was on like Amish Donkey, I think. How the hell did I miss that? Dude I think it was called Bush Shootout Damn how did I miss that

That's crazy It's a really classic It was fun Oh my god I can't believe I'm like I'm watching a clip of it It's like yeah Did you guys remember when Chris Dorner Got Burns Alive

You guys ever play that Doom mod Christopher Dornor's last stand I never No I never played it Right now it's probably really appropriate To play with everything that's going on Like he's just hold up been the cabin and he's just basically

shooting a bunch of cops it's insane it's so fucked up games like those flash games are crazy like the fucking Super Columbine RPG and like just all these insane that game was so fucking hilarious

yo that game was so dude Super Columbine RPG had me in tears when I was little I already knew it was way funny what about you fucking sweetie have any trash games you fucking really enjoy?

I'm trying to remember, like, all the games I played, like, what game did I play? That I... This is going to be kind of devices for the anime fans, but I think I liked, I really, really, really liked a lot of the 3D anime fighters like Naruto Storm for a little bit. But I know as I got older, I kept realizing how bad those games were. Ah, yeah. But these games are really not that good of games, because, like, 3D fighters are just kind of not the best things.

It's fun. They were cool, but, like, I was like, oh, this is just kind of stupid. Yeah. That's the best I can go for it because I usually, I think I only played games that everybody told me were good for the most part growing up. So I was just like, all right. Yeah, they really, like, the obscure games and the shit games are reserved for people that just, like, kind of collected them as a hobby, I think.

I didn't get. Oh, yeah, yeah. And it's almost like a lot of the games that you played me or your kid that just ended up being shit games, like you just sort of liked anyway. Yeah. Like, uh, yeah. Like, I played Blinks the Time Sweeper when I was a kid, and I didn't hate it at all. Like, I thought it was kind of cool.

I played a Wu-Tang fighting game, actually. That might have been bad. It was a Wu-Tang-Klan fighting game. I played the fuck out of it. I was really good as Ghostface Killer. I haven't played that, but actually, that sounds really intriguing. You know, I actually do not like Altered Beast. That was, like, one of the OG Sega games.

And I just, it's so even, because, like, I had one of my first game got this Genesis 2 and then shoots of rage 2 came out on that shit and they had Sonic 2 and then going back and playing Altered Beast even when I was young I remember I'm like oh this is pretty cool but like not even that much older I was like this actually is fucking terrible what the hell like it's just to me now a lot of people probably feel would probably feel offended or something but I just I never spent that much time never beat it so meaning that it wasn't that great to me back then but now like I have like the Sega classics and that one I just can't get into it like the first.

first level. I'm like, this is fucking trash. This is so clunky and just slow and I don't know, man. Yeah. I hear you. No, fuck that game. I didn't really, I never really fucked with those games, honestly.

Same. But I played, the only thing I played on Sega was Sonic. That's it. I played a ton of Sonic on Sega. I played, I played Time Crisis on, uh. Oh, I love time crisis, man. So good. Good games. On fucking Dreamcast. Never even got close to beating any of them but I'd love them.

The dreamcast is cool as shit. I think Gabby has a dreamcast. I have one. Dude, you can, um... I got mine for 60 bucks on on Amazon. Really? Yeah, it was just a refurbished, but it works perfectly. I'm surprised there are enough

dreamcasts at all. That you could find someone. Yeah, my... Yeah, I agree. My original one, it just died. It wouldn't load anything. And that was a... That was a huge fucking bummer because I really did like the games that are on Dreamcast. The thing that was the most impressive to me was the original HD, I guess, remaster of Resident Evil 2.

Oh, yeah. I was just like, this looks so fucking good. I was like freaking out. That was amazing. The Dreamcast was so cool. Yeah. I love that controller too. Yeah, man.

It was just so neat. It really was. It was kind of like the, it was, that was, like, Xbox definitely stole that idea with the controller. They're like, oh, yeah, they just build upon it. I feel like the Dreamcast was the last, like, if the NES was a supercomputer, like, the Dreamcast would be it, you know what I mean? Like, it had the design language of, like, old systems. It had, like, the look of, like, an old kind of brick.

Like, because, like, I think with PS2 and Xbox and GameCube, console started to look a little bit more stylish, you know? Like it was like, oh, here's a black box with like some sick, uh, defining, uh, edges and, or, or here's the GameCube and it looks like really distinct. Yeah. But like, the Dreamcast was just like, here's a fucking gray box or a beige box. Fuck you. You know. It's just like the NES.

It's just like the NES. The NES was just like a fucking VCR looking thing. And it's just like the Dreamcast was like the last one that really took that design language. So cool. I love that thing. Same. Doda Dodd wrote in. He says,

Hello fellow insignificant beings. Well, speak for yourself. I'm mad at people. Bitch. If you were to be executed in any way, what would it be in what crime would you want to be executed for? Well, easy for me. I want to get shot in the face in front of a bunch of people.

Oh, my God. Back in head with a shotgun. Blow the fucking fun of my forehead off. Jesus Christ. Probably for like, probably for, maybe for like I don't know just doing some fuck shit

sat in fires or something like that just sound pretty light I'm gonna change this a little bit what what crime would you expect you to be executed for oh that's interesting

like what is something that you think that you do that probably like you probably shouldn't be doing like maybe like you download like anime or something from this like fucking this pirate bay

and like this Russian web site and you're downloading anime off of and you get killed for it. Probably setting fires. Like that's the only thing I ever want to do that's kind of like, ah, that's not that good. You shouldn't be doing that. Because you ever to see a mountain full of trees. You're like, you know, that'd look so much better if it was on fire.

No, no, never. Never? No, man. I'm not a, dude, I'm not an arsonist. I'm not a psychopath. I love greenery. You sound like a bitch. I respect plants. You sound like a 40-year-old white, white, woman bitch. You know what you sound like? I respect greenery. You sound like you sound like one of

those pieces of shit that when the bush, the brush fires happen in Australia that were like, you know what, dude? This would be really nice if I just flick my cigarette out the fucking window. Yeah, that's gonna be really nice. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Yeah, yes, you fucking would. I'm not gonna act on it. I'm not gonna act on it. It's like, it's like someone that has like, I'm not gonna act on that. That's what every fucking. I haven't yet. I haven't done it yet. Yeah, you're not that dude. There's still plenty of life to live. You never know. Like you can be pushed to the edge pretty like right now things are so tense where everything's going on All you need is just like a simple little push off the edge and then all of a sudden now you're everything that you've been chanting and channeling

You're the you're the fucking lively killer like you're become the you're gonna become the first black notorious serial killer Never I'm never gonna be notorious what you mean I'm gonna try one to get killed never gonna be notorious no I think you're gonna no you're gonna be the first one because they're all white You know every single documentary is always and I'm like damn where's the niggas that man And I think you're going to be like... Damn, we don't have enough representation in the serial killer department. Yeah, that's the way... Where all my niggas at? I hate you, Derek.

I'm not lying, though. You know that it's like, come on, man. I want to see, like, some, like, say the Washington sniper, that dude gets no love. That dude gets no love, Chris. Jesus Christ. Derek is going on a tangent right now. Sorry fans. Sorry people of black people of our group.

because one of us wants to see us go down this terrible line of fucking canonical murderers. It's not like I want to. I'm just, I feel like. You're like, hey, where's representation? I'm just kind of like, hey, man. It's kind of like say, hey, let's be real. Like, say, I'm really into metal.

And I do appreciate when I see black dudes in that genre. It is nice. It's nice to see. I don't. Are you into murder? Are you in the serial killing and you want to see a black guy in that genre? Is that what you're saying, Derek? What I'm saying, I'm not you, bitch, I'm not you, but here's the thing.

I am your friend. I look at it. I am your friend. And I would, I would appreciate when you do start murdering that you become high profile. I do when, like he knows. We all know when I do. I'm not, okay, first of all, I'm not a murderer, right? I don't have the guts for it.

I am a destroyer, though. I do like seeing shit just destroyed. I'm not saying I'm going to do. I'm not saying I'm going to try to help fund someone. to do it. So you want to murder indirectly. Once you set fire to a forest and kill hundreds of people. You'll just know. I just like the way fire looks. I don't like seeing people die from fire. Yeah, you just don't want to see the damage fire duds. I just like seeing how it looks. Like if it happens to be a mountain fire, I'm like, oh shit, I want to take a picture of that. That looks insane.

That's nice. Because fire's beautiful. That's so nice. All the people that live north towards that mountain, they're all dead. All those animals, they're all dead. They're all dead. That's so fucking Yeah, you have some demons. You have some demons to look after. Look, a lot of animals are, look, there are animals in the ocean. Fuck animals, right? What is that? What is that?

Let's just move on, I guess. Jesus Christ. The voices in my head promised riches beyond my wildest dreams, but all I got was 13 separate STDs wrote in. That's his name. Oh, holy God. What's up Hispanic Dr. Dufan Schmertz, Miles Morales that's given up on life, and black Bilbo Baggins.

This is all hurtful. Why am I black? What? Okay, all right. Because you're short. Yeah, but my feet are fucking pretty small. So whatever. Fuck you.

We don't know. We don't know that. You know how mean that is? You know how mean that it? That is literally punching me in every place it could hurt. Every part of my ethnicity and my weight. Ouch. I don't know.

I have 10 and a half. I'm not fucking, I'm not, God, okay, whatever. Save that, save that for the cameo, save that for the cameo, dude. Oh, that's exactly. That's a good idea. Good point, good point.

Anyway, he wrote in, he says, what's the most embarrassing thing you've done to sleep with someone? I don't know if I've ever done anything embarrassing, just sleep? Wait, I have to think maybe. Oh, I know. I don't want to bring it up, but I know.

I don't, really? Tell it, tell it in like a, tell it, just pretend it's someone else. Yeah. So, yeah, one of my friends, right, lame ass, bitch. dude he was like oh man wait what was his name what was his name uh bingston he uh he really liked this girl right and she was like i want to see twilight you know we should watch the

twilight movies so he like went with this girl to see pretty much every twilight movie and he sat through him just to get some really not impressive vagina and it was just the worst it was so bad wait did you sit wait a minute wait a minute did he sit did this person that we're talking about. Did he sit... Did he sat through like a movie marathon? Or did he like accompany this person? He sat through a marathon of the first three

and then went to the theaters to see the fourth one. Oh man. Jesus. That's pretty rough. That kind of made me full gross. But I saw my cousin there. So that was what made it fantastic. Oh, your cousin was like a thug.

Your cousin... He was like a thug. I don't know if he was with anybody. That's made it so weird. He's like a thug-ass thuggish black dude that like somebody not to fuck with. And then I saw him there and I was like, oh, what are you doing here? And he was like, I was at the movies.

And I was like, wow, man. Like, who are you with? I was like, oh, I'm with a few girls. And he was like, oh, see you at home. And that's it. It was so fucking awkward. That's so fucked. Can you imagine?

That's so terrible. I would hate to be caught doing that. Yeah. Yeah, it was really bad. It was really mediocre of a JJ too. Like, I feel. I have somewhat of a similar, but I had a tragic situation. It was, it was, it was, I was,

A few days before the first time I moved to Arizona, so this was probably like 2008. And I kind of somewhat got catfished, meaning that the girl that wherever the fuck I met her from, I don't even remember, she looked much better online, probably MySpace or something like that. But I picked her up and I took her to this kickback at my friend's house because it was like, hey, let's have a little something. I'm leaving pretty soon. And tragedy struck. Like, one of my friends had an incident.

and basically cops got called a dude hands got cut by a box cutter it was just a bad time and the chick was there she's the first time meeting any of my friends or anything and it was like a really like traumatic situation for a lot of people there and I was like oh man this is fucked up

and I was just kind of like you want to go back to my place like it was basically the only thing I could do to be like oh man this was so fucked up Maybe this fucking catfish, this fucking Decepticon will like just kind of make me feel better. And I felt so much worse after I banged her. I felt so bad.

Oh my God. You did it? I mean, I went through with that. Bro, I thought it was going to help me, man. I thought it was going to be like things are so that was such a fucked up night that like maybe this will kind of help take my mind. But it just like made it way worse. I was just like, man. It just taints the experience.

It just makes that worse. Oh, my God. That was a bad, like, that was definitely... That's pretty fucking vile. I respect it, though. I respect it, but that's pretty fucking vile. Yeah, it wasn't my highlight, but, you know, hey, this is what it is, man. We'd be honest on this podcast.

You got to live and learn, bro. I kind of wish I had stories like that. I'm Chris. I have integrity. Look at me. No, it's not about... I think it's kind of embarrassing that I've never done anything like that. Because it's almost like any situation that I had, like, especially like in high school and, like, early

college was just like, I would just rather be making videos or like, or like playing video games, like genuinely. Yeah. You know, like, I would just be like, if something was just too inconvenient for me to do, I just I wouldn't do it. Like, I remember there was this one girl who was like, hey, do you want to, do you want to come, come see this play that I'm in? This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms.

Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs, to be exact. My favorites. The only kind I've gotten. my fridge. No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata. And here's something most people don't know. You can trace

your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at vitalfarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food. Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit Vital Farms.com to learn more. Vital Farms.

Good eggs. No shortcuts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan.

I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365.

Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. And I remember that was like a guarantee. You know, like that was like, oh, something was going to,

something was definitely going to happen. And I was like, it's like 30 minutes away you know I hate plays I hate sitting in fucking theater chairs

and not being able to move and like waiting for the intermission that takes everybody ages I'm good and I never talk to her again damn I mean that's pretty

to me that is pretty impressive for like young like say now totally like I don't like yeah Totally now, like, that's, that would be me 100%. Like, oh, that's a little inconvenient. I don't care. I don't care enough.

That's, yeah, when I was younger, I just couldn't turn it down. Like, I just couldn't do it. I do, man. I would take, like, two buses to, like, go to two cities over and shit. My, my, that was, that was, that was, that was me later on. Like, because, like, early on, because early on, I was like, I've been, I've been, you know, I've been fucking fine. I've been fine not doing this for this long anyway, you know? Yeah.

It's just like, whatever. It's, I just didn't care. The second I was like, oh, wait a minute. I have power here. The second I was like, wait a minute. What? This world is open to me? Then it was like, then it was a problem.

Then it was like, okay. Then I'm like, hey, man, yeah, I'll fly over there. Yeah, that's pretty impressive. That's wild. For me, it was just the idea. Like, I was like, if anyone knows, I would, I lived in Fischo. I didn't have a car and I had to get all over the fucking pleasant valley to get vagina and I would do it regularly.

It'd be a fucking venture. It'd be like getting from, it'd be like getting from like, I don't know. Give us an estimate mileage. Give us an estimate mileage. It's like near the other end. It's like near the other end of the county. It's like nearing over by like one angle of the fucking

county. I would just go. I would just like I got to get this. Now I don't even talk to the girl anymore. All that time I spent on buses just waiting. Just like I'm so, I feel so stupid, but I respect that because now I know that like, hey, you know,

you got to take a break and every now and then. You know, not every vagina is worth fucking venturing for it. I'm not link. I'm not link. That's a good, that's a good, that's a good stopping point, I think. Yeah. Anyway,

thanks for, thanks for joining us today. I really don't know. This episode is a little weird. We had to pause a couple times because technology she was being an asshole. Yeah. But I think I was, I think it was all right. It was a decent one.

Oh, I didn't. That last one was crazy. It was a good dismount. The last one got insane. Yeah, the last one, it's going to happen again, unfortunately. I can already fucking feel it. It wasn't resolved. It wasn't resolved at all.

Absolutely. We just stopped talking about angry where we didn't ever like come to a point where we were like, I agree with you. That's what the show is about, pushing things off for later, even though it's really detrimental to your health to do so. Thanks for stopping by, everybody. If you liked what you heard today by some miracle, please consider supporting us over at patreon.com slash the snark tank.

$1 a month gets you early access. $5 a month gets you a question read on the show. $10 gets you access to our Discord. And $15 gets you a producer credit and your name dyslexically read at the end of the show, which we're now at. So I guess we'll do this. Ready, say, go.

Hold on, hold on. Hold on. I have to open it. Patreon is so shit. This is the boy, this is a boy, Bob Carroll. Can you do his intro like perfectly? Have you figured it out? I can't do it perfectly, but if I listen to it like 10 times, I'd get it because it's just like. Yo, so yesterday, guys, I posted on Twitter, which is me going over my voice reel, doing like some creative voices. And if you guys would like, I could do some of those voices right now. No, don't do that.

What is wrong with you? Are you okay? I don't know. I don't know. Something's up. Something's wrong. You know, I've literally,

have never had the urge to genuinely hit you until now. Like that, like, honestly, I felt it. This has been the toughest few days of my life. And there's no good reason why. There's no good reason why I'm an episode.

It's just a random period of intense and unflinching turmoil. I just feel. stressed and I don't know why I feel so stressed. Well, uh, our $15 patrons can help ease that stress by having their names dyslexically

get rid of the end of the show. Double O'Don, one meter long fetus, uh, a level one cleric, Aaron Alvarez, uh, absage, Halo Gremlin, Ethereum, Alex Morrison,

Alexia v. Britania. Uh, uh, Andrew Wang wants to give every American 1,000 dicks a month, aka universal basic income. I like it. I love it.

I'm all for it. I'm all for it, too, I guess, because I have no choice but to be. Outs King. Beals above the Gimp. Ben Douglas. Ben, facts don't care about your feelings, but I refuse to go to Dave Rubin's wedding, Shapiro. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. What an asshole. Betty White's beautiful baby powdered body. Jesus Christ. Big dude, 0444. Big G with N, fat underscore D. Black Nipple Gang, Cayuse Cum-Filled Eye Sockets, Cakes and Foxy, PH,

Carson Jones, Chris Bash My Coot, Chris Benoit, babysitting service. No! That's good. So fucked up. That's good. He's one of the best Chris's. Chris is hidden.

I don't know if my favorite is Christopher Columbus. That's my favorite Chris. Yeah, and Christ, I guess, counts. Chris, Chris, is hidden eighth nipple. This is Sarah Spain from Good Game with Sarah Spain, brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Let's talk eggs. Vital Farms pasture raised eggs, to be exact. My favorites, the only kind I've got in my fridge.

No joke. And here's why. These aren't your average eggs. The hens live on open pastures with fresh air and sunshine all year long. They forage on local grasses and stretch their wings. They're living their best life. That care really shows in the taste. I love mine scrambled with a little butter or whipped up into a fancy frittata.

And here's something most people don't know. You can trace your eggs back to the farm they came from. Seriously, side of the carton, you'll find the farm name. Type it in at vitalfarms.com slash farm, and you'll get a 360-degree peak at the pasture. Plus, Vital Farms is a certified bee corporation, which means they're committed to improving the lives of people, animals, and the planet through food.

Eggs you could feel good about. So next time you're in the store, look for the black carton in the egg aisle, and visit VitalFarms.com to learn more. Vital Farms. Good eggs. No shortcuts. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.

Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome.

I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion. And really recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting

to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's large injury law from thanks for coming by the show thanks for having me visit for the people.com for an office near you um I have seven damn available club COVID sweet what club COVID suite escapes in

Minneapolis I just don't know just don't know what that refers to Coldberg Colonel Sanders gaping cumfield urethra Jesus Christ oh my god Count Cocula conscious pilot Curtis Smith

cyborg, dangleus Blampus the ancient Roman ancestor of Dangle Blampi Dank House, Danny DeVito's Dank Delectable Draconian Dick David Connolly, Death Corps Guardsman, official terrorist of the Snark Tank Discord Decato, Dirtfest, DJ Xerdev

the... Fuck you. Dota Dod. I'm just going to skip you. Fuck you. Oh no. It's DJ underscore Zerdave the anarcho dubstepist. but like it's got all these random interspersed capitals It's too much

It exists purely to fuck with my dyslexia I swear to God Dodod Ddovacunt Dragazorath otherwise known as cunt Dummy thick Dave Dunderhead Emperor Palpatine

Epstein's favorite Every time you paint a room It gets smaller I hate thinking about that That's true Yeah I've got a layer Yeah I used to think about this when I was a kid And it would always like fucking make me feel claustrophobic

Every time I would paint You start screaming and going in a corner I'm, it's shrinking on me. I'm shrinking. Fat Houdini, feed me Chris with your piss. God. Ew. Female, female Sonic admirer.

God damn it. Fialar Tandre Gutormson. On page two now. God damn, there's so many. It's so many again. Flesh puppet panda. Fou hay. Gasping for Breadth.

Gay Vatar, the last straight bender. Girtworm Jim. Such a classic. I love that one still. good one. Granny's $5.00 gum job jobs, a no denture adventure. All right. Holy shit.

Fuck me. That's so fucking terrible. Oh my God. The grudge, grudge the ground level devil. Gucci gang, my gooch is gang green. Guy Fieri is one-way trip to Flavor Town in the back of his trunk. Haco, Harvey Weinstein's latest victim, heartless wretch,

Harvey Lee Boswald, HK9-4-10. Hugger Derek. I have Dane Bramage. I kick-flipped. good your mom left your dad for me. If Smof was black, he'd be Tom Sweeney, Jabobo, Jason Tenticles, Jeremiah D. McRoberts, Joe Jolie, a jolly old dipshit. John, White Boy extraordinaire, Julia Caesar has jungle fever, Catovox, King of Haphaazard, Kingston's walking nightmare about Waluigi's meter-long noodle knob? Oh my God. Okay. La Muffler, limpisket, think they're black, but they're just gay.

That fucked me up the first time I heard it. Luigi's eccentric linguine, Melfis 1, pretend there's a funny title here. Miguel, Mitchell Blackwood, Moto Zellet, Mr. Fox, Mr. Ninja Fox 117, murder ascended, poo on head, Ramocles, the raunchy rapist of Rhodes. Oh, my God.

Richter 86, Rumpel Forskin, Ruth Bader Ginsburg Moist Clam sauce. Oh my God. That's so disgusting. Fuck, that's heinous, man. Jesus. Thanks for the 15, I guess. Ryan Kingler

Klingler Sarah McLaughlin Goblin your Cocklin Sirton Sautie Sack Sherlock 93 Simp Biscuit Slav Squad of the Globetrotter Who Dict Your Mother's Daughter

Who Dict Your Mother's Daughter And now Chris's kneecap For misgendering me I didn't misgender you I don't know who you are I'll fight you Do it Steve Reagan graduate

of the Tarik Nishid School of Audio Engineering What? I'm never gonna make a better gag than that That was from an old video Oh. Because, like, you remember when Tariga?

Do you remember when Tariga made that video where he was like, and, uh, Steve Ragan? And he, and his audio was like all blowed out. Yeah. All fucking peaking and shit. That's what that's from. Dude, those were good times, man. I miss when he was, like, talking shit about us. It was great.

Yeah, that was a fun feud, honestly. That was like, uh, that was, that was, Tariq Nishid was our shoe nice. I feel like. Yeah. That's so fucking ridiculous. suing Chris for Sharpie theft I didn't take your fucking Sharpie

Sunny Chance Sweeney's suicidal spell checker Sweeney the Kauaiwifu Sitzrup Kemma that Nick Walker The Cosmic Hippi The father the son and the holy Sween The Ork War Boss Rak Eats Masha The Progerian Hunter

The Supreme King of Autism The voices in my head promised riches Beyond my wildest streams But all I got with 13 separate STDs The Specter Angel Tickle my ass hairs Timothy McVeigh's childhood frustrations of losing at Jenga What the fuck is that?

Is that a real thing? Timothy McVeigh blew up an abortion. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't put two and two together. That's so fuck. Toby Schuettman, Tom, Tom Sweeney, voraciously butt-chugging Chris's liquefied corpse? Oh, my God.

You need to help yourselves. You need therapy, all of you. Take a break. Tom Sweeney's ass-eating sex slave Feed me please Sweene I'm starving Tutsi aka the pale cum goblin Under Derek's bed and haunting Sweeney's Streams Winthropy

Uh Wormulon Keeper of the Elder Cream Yummy yummy yummy yummy come inside my tummy Z-Tonger and Z theory My God Gonna have to This shit got out of control again Gonna have to do it again

And find some other fucking bullshit to put in the fucking $15. That's fucking crazy This is insane. It's longer than it was. It's way longer. Yeah, it's longer than it was. It's longer than it was when it was less.

If there are those of you who are new here, who are new listeners, this initially was the $10 tier. But then the $10 tier was just overloaded. And it got to the point where it was taking up so much of the show. They were like, all right, we got to raise the price. And now it's the longer, if not. It's the same size, if not longer than it was when we decided that it was getting off the rails. so I'm going to have to figure something out with this how do they do this

like I know people who do this for like all their patrons and it's like how do you how the fuck do you manage this I don't know man fuck them Jesus Christ fuck them all right well I just to keep this episode short we're just going to cut it thanks for all you guys who support us it really doesn't mean a lot

thanks for the fucking animations all the shit that you do all the shit that you guys do that surrounds this podcast is wild. We love it. It's genuinely some of the shit that... I look forward to seeing the next thing that people fuck with

from this show now. 100% of us. You guys are fantastic, honestly. Thank you for all this bullshit. We don't deserve it. So thank you. Shut up. I think we do. I do, definitely.

Okay, okay. Okay. You're both wrong. Maybe not Sweeney. Maybe Sweeney probably deserves it less. I deserve it. I deserve as much as you guys do. I whatever. Fucking flip-flopping bitch.

Man, get out of here. Shut up. Shut up. Fuck you both. You fucking dirges. Do you remember when I said, hey, Tweeney, come to VidCon for three years and then you didn't come? And then the one year you said you did come, the fucking world collapse?

It's not my fault. I didn't do this. I mean, you did not come for the first three years, though. And the world was fine. So based on circumstances, yeah, suck a fucking, suck a cow cocky, bitch. Yeah. You see that? That's you lashing out.

I don't think cows have cocky, dumb asshole. I don't think it's cow. Okay. You know what a cow is? You fucking idiot. He fucked you up. That's so bad. No, it's not true.

A cow is when you're not describing it. Then it's a heifer than a bull. Yeah, that's what you would say, suck a fucking bull cock or a heifer cock. I'm saying a cow cock. All right? Just let you know if it has a cock,

I mean it's a bull. Don't try to get me. No. Don't fuck with our English language, man. Fuck you. I'll fuck with you. All right, let's fucking stop. Let's stop this.

Click and collect. Order confirmed. Dad, tomorrow can we start a band? Can we become robots? Affirmative. Can we go crab battling? That isn't a thing. How about swimming?

Dad, can we take a nap? You not off and I'll pick up the shop and deal. Deal. While you do the important things, we'll do the essentials. Book your free click and collect slot at Tesco.e or in Al. TESCO, every little helps. Terms and conditions apply. Success starts with your drive,

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