The Snark Tank - #253: Homer and Yoda Sitting in a Tree

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

MERCH: http://www.snarktank.shopPatreon: https://patreon.com/TheSnarkTank

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See website for full terms and conditions. Hey, look, you think a little dead mean. Getting thick skin is a blessing. It's necessary, man. You got to learn how to be able to deal with bullshit. It's like somebody the other day, like I imagine if I haven't been doing this for years, someone randomly quote tweeted my pinned comment and was like, law, this guy's still doing stuff, law!

And I'm like, what? My reaction is like, what? Instead of like maybe feeling a little like her like, oh, fuck this guy. You should just shout to the N-word at him. I was thinking, I was actually trying to think of my, what could I say to this? And then I forgot. I was like, fuck, I forgot. Too much time has passed.

Yeah. And so, like, you can't, you can't do anything now. I really like tweeting things that like say the inward at the end of the video. So, like, I don't get in trouble because at the end of the video. I do a lot of times I used to, but now I kind of don't. I'd rather not have my account banned because the other one was banned. Right. times you would just tweet like grotesque stuff at somebody that say something like uh gaped asses or

something you know i miss those days well like stuff like that that's what that you would do you used to do wild shit somebody says honey you would just tweet something really mean at them i i did that kind of recently i'm i'm always astonished that the stuff that like i don't get banned for yeah because like i've told people that just straight up killed themselves yeah like on twitter like replied and like with like four thousand likes or whatever nobody i don't know i guess because i'm technically technically shadow band already. Yeah, you are. I guess they don't care.

Yeah, I am shadow band as well. Yeah, because anytime, because, you know, obviously I need to tag you guys a lot or I need to look something. I can't, like, I have to go out of my way and I saw somebody say that to you, Chris. Yeah. They have to go out of the,

they have to go to the snark tank account to get to your account. And actually I do the same thing. It's whenever, sometimes I need pictures of you for thumbnail. You've been in the thumbnail more than like Chris has. For some reason, like, say the last thing was your Uber escapades. Oh, yeah. So I need a picture of them.

and I'm like, I can't search you. You can't put in, what is it, Tom Sweeney, Inc. Yeah. And it nothing shows up. Yeah. It's just, it's crazy. I made a, you know what's crazy about that, though? Is that, like, I made a second account just to make a separate one just because I was like,

yeah, fucking whatever. Yeah. And that one isn't Shadow Man, but it's connected to my first one. Like, it was like ad account, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just like, what? Very cool. Why is, wouldn't it, like, my assumption would be like any account.

that stems off of this would be also equally treated. Because that's just kind of how you would assume it would work. But then it's like, why? You're assuming that X formerly known as Twitter makes sense as a website. That is true. It is an unfair assumption. So have you heard about what Elon and his, oh yeah, he's going to sue. He's going to sue.

There's advertising. Yeah, his CEO or whoever, like, he's going to sue Garm. Because they don't want to, they don't want to work with him. And I'm like, everybody is just like, I can't, how could you in, this is too stupid to were like that one video of him telling the advertisers go fuck themselves. Yeah. I can't make this any more clear. Go fuck yourselves.

It's, it's beyond parody, really. It is beyond parody. This is it. I don't, I don't know what to tell you. If you can't. I also respect him, dog.

It's crazy. I really got, I respected him. I liked him around the time. The space X stuff. When he first came out, I thought that she was cool as well. When he threw his,

when he threw his car into space, I thought, that's funny. That's a dumb thing to do. Whatever. Yeah. You know? And then,

Like kind of immediately after that, he just sort of began, it just sort of felt forced. I don't know how to explain it. Over COVID, he became very annoying. Well, way, yeah, way worse. Oh, that is true. Before then, there was, because if anyone was paying attention, like the, his projections of about what the things that he was going to do about going to Mars, about building certain type of trucks, like semis, all these things that he said, like, none of them happened.

And I'm like, oh, this guy's a fucking, like, Charlotte. I do love that video. Like, did you guys see Trump on Aiden, Aiden Ross's... Of course I did. I only saw the clip of him dancing with them and I was like, I can't do this. It was so funny, like, it's so funny watching that stream in retrospect, because, like, the stream ends with Aiden Ross gifting Trump, like, a really expensive watch. Which is actually, like, a legal kind of thing. It's kind of dangerous.

But he gave him, like, this really expensive watch and a cyber truck with, like, rapping on it. That had, like, the picture of him getting assassinated. which is amazing but before that like during during the stream he's asked about

like electric cars and he's like they'll never work he's talking about like the one they might have to make electric trucks it's too heavy

that bridges will collapse and he's just making fun of like electric vehicles and then it ends with him getting gifted a fucking cyber truck and then he has to sit in there being like

it's pretty cool I like the playlist I like the way it's all set up in here and it's like it's so do you see a At one of his rallies, the most blatant, like, he, because he would always, right, like you said, he would always shit on electric cars. And he's like, but then Elon paid me, so I can't do it anymore.

We got, we got, they're not, they're not all bad. Just at the, at the rally, you just admitted that Elon paid him to be like, hey, stop shitting on them. So now he's okay with them. But we still got to have gas powered vehicles, but there's room for some of these two. And it was at one of his recent rallies. I remember being a kid, the simplest shit would get people shit canned as a politician. Oh, yeah, dude. I remember the 2000s, that guy who did like, yeah.

Yeah. And that was it. That was it for him. Why did that happen? I remember hearing about that. Easily. It wasn't that big of a deal. People made it.

It was one of the fakesest things to like, be like, oh, this guy's weird. but they led it to it because all he did was make a weird yelp and then I'm like okay it was kind of cringe but like compared to like some of the stuff that people have gotten away with since then not his policies not like I don't know anything about the guy's policies to be right I never looked into him yet that's true but imagine like

he could have been like a really good step forward for humanity but like you were like oh this guy made a cringe sound gross not voting for you it is that's crazy it's mega funny like what how little it took versus how much it would take now. Oh, it's over. You don't have to do anything now. The American political landscape is ruined forever.

I firmly, we'll never recover from it. Yeah, I genuinely think we're approaching territory if we're not already there. We're like, you could have video of a politician just fucking a child in the sand. And like, yeah. It wouldn't move certain people away from. They wouldn't move anywhere near as much as much as you would be like, oh, that's it. And it'd be like, you're dead.

There would be two things. There you'd be killed probably. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Two things would happen with that. That video surfaced of a politician savagely assaulting a child sexually. And like, so the worst way possible, the worst thing you can imagine, right? Right, right. It would be either what did that child do?

Yeah. Or that's AI. What did that child do? Or AI. It's one of the two. What did that child do to cause this? Bro, I was just recently, so one of the most famous MMA fighters, Alex Pereda, right? He's the, he's the Light Heavyweight Champion.

There's these allegations that he, that he, that he, uh, rapaid a girl while they're all hanging out in Florida or whatever, New York, sorry. Anyway, long story short, I don't need to get into it. But I actually saw her stories and then I read the comments. Never read the comment. They were so much She even said that She was like I knew I was going to get like Trashed

But I didn't know how fucking Do these It's crazy The MMA community Are the most disgusting people I don't know what happened to it Trump happened It wasn't okay

Because I remember It wasn't always because I used to I watched MMA since I was younger I wasn't always like super up to it But I was a huge silver fan So I was watching in the 2010 I was like and um J J.J. J.D. Vance No no no no stop

I'm going to forget the president's name J. Z. Stop, shut up. What's... Jake Cole. Oh my God, he's like one of the most decorated. He's a white guy, uh, French from him I was taking or... Oh, George St. Anastra. George St. Vance.

Yes. No, no. George D. St. Pierre. Stop. George St. Pierre. Jesus. I'm trying to remember someone I respect. G.S.

He was a demon and he wasn't like, and I was like, oh, they're like respectable guys. They go on interviews and they're like, oh, yeah, I fight, but I'm not like a bulldog. Sorkin-von Strangle. Yeah. You're such a fucking... That was just... Cut that. That's such a...

I just realized you never introduced the show. Welcome to Snark Tank. Hey, this is our job. Hey, hey, welcome to the Snark Tank. Patreon.com slash the Snartang to get ad free, all that shit. It's only a dollar to get in. Come on. Do it.

Or you'll be wasting your time. You'll be wasting your time and money. Or we'll kill you. He sounds like an old politician, like old school. Like he's... Yeah, because I'm not going to say that. He can't. He can't like you...

It is 20-24. so you can say, you can say Jay DeVance, fuck the couch. Did you see what Tim Walt said? Yeah, he said, that's weird. No, Tim Watson was like, I hope he can get off that couch. He's like, yeah, like, I hope he can get up.

Like, he was about, like, debating him. And he, he mentioned the couch. That is so amazing. Can you, can I say something? Look, look, look, can I be real? It's fake, too. It makes it fun of yours. That's what's so beautiful.

I, I, as a basic principle, I will never, I don't like simping for politicians. I think it's weird. However, and I haven't looked super deep into this Waltz guy. The cursor research I appreciate the fact that we have somebody up there

Who's willing to say something like that Because I've always wanted Bernie Sanders Just call Trump a fat retard And that's the closest And that's the closest we've That's the closest I've ever seen it Get to that Right

Where it's like you're a filthy couch fucker Like you didn't say that But there's like a underpinning It's like okay I can appreciate this Waltz has a really good track record I've heard but like yeah Yeah it's from everything

From everything I did like a little dive on him I did like a nice three four hour Like look over here this person Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI,

coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question. of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.

I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.

All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because... both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for, or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results.

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This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. Best choice she ever could have made. Literally. Like it the only because like say Of the people available, yeah, there's no better person I liked a Buttigieg but at the same time There would have been a hill Yeah there would there would have been a hill to climb

Because he uh you know Because he has a husband I know and they were gonna call him booty fudge You know like he's a little gay Fucking booty fudge He's such a gay fagg Little booty bitch booty bitch booty booty What is the wrong with you

He just he just leads into it Boodie Bidge, booty butt bitch, Bidg. Look, he's trying to have sex with Jady Vance. Stop him. Stop him. He's doing it. I would love if he called him that, and then he just got up and punched him.

He just got up, and he just criticaled him once and killed him. He hits Trump? I will say, I like... I would cheer a little bit. If it happened like that. I would cheer a lot of it. I'm like, that's crazy. He just one hit him.

Because a lot of these people do need... A lot of these people do need to be hit, Oh yeah, yeah. It always comes down to that. I think most people need to be punched to be honest. I agree. Yeah. You got to,

you got to understand. Not enough people have been hit, I think. I agree. Yeah, I think that's a true thing. I actually really agree that. People have to understand that words of consequences.

That's a real thing. I understand that you shouldn't be hitting people. Obviously, don't put your hands of people. I don't really entirely really bad. But I, sometimes it got to. But the idea is that like a lot of people need to be punched in a face.

So they know like, oh, if I say some fuck shit, it's not it happened to me. Because freedom of speech is a thing, but not freedom of consequence. That's what happened to our people in general. Yeah.

I realized like, and though I understand this is a situation that was a little, it was a little bit hyperbolic still. The idea of like Will Smith and Chris Rock, right? Like Chris Rock was genuinely joking and I think Will Smith overreacted it a bit hastily. I think that was a major overreaction.

Yeah, maybe overreaction. But the idea is that people that say stuff, that's why comedians need to be able to fight. As a comedian, you got to be able to fight somebody. Someone steps up to you, you got to be able to fuck them up. And then make fun of them again. And it hurts them.

The thing about that is like, look. But jokes are jokes, though. I get it. Jokes are jokes. No, it's not even just that. It's like it's a different thing. If you're,

if you're on the street and you walk up to some random person and you're like, your wife's bald and fat and gay and then you get hit. Like, that's your fault. Yeah. But if you're understanding the place of where you're at and how things happen. Because obviously, I'm out a comedy show and I get crowd show.

They just work and they get me. They get me, you know? They're going to ravage you. And like, Come on. Like, you're one of the richest people ever. What you got to do? You got out joke them,

which I've seen happen a few times, and that shit's crazy. He should have shouted the N-word, like really loud. Like a sonic blast. Yeah. Physical damage to Chris Rock. He, like, he gets knocked back

and he goes to the one knee, and he's like, get an ambulance. Get an ambulance. Everybody hates me and he dies. He starts saying everybody hates Chris theme song as he crumbles and collapses to the ground and dies. And you see his chest kind of cave in a little bit.

There's a dent. There's like a dent. There's like a bigger. dead that there should be and it's like yo his stern his sternum starts up here imagine he's hitting the head so hard that your legs break and you crumble to the ground damn i saw a video somebody getting sweep kicked and coughed up blood the kick itself made him cough up blood that can't be real he's probably drinking blood already yeah yeah something he's running blood he's drinking blood and you guys swept

Anyway, yeah. I mean, yeah, so far I like the guy. I've seen, like, I've tried to look at every single source I can about, like, I want to see what right-wingers are saying about him. I want to see what left-wingers are saying about him. Apparently, he, like, didn't handle the Minneapolis riots super well or whatever. Well, they wanted them to kill them. That's why they didn't do. Right, yeah, I know. They were like, why didn't you murder them?

Well, the criticism that I heard was like specifically, and even this is from, like, Fox News specifically, they were like, he didn't. he he waited too long to call enforcement or whatever which is like which is an interesting complaint for that group of people to make Wow interesting man Because I'm pretty sure there's a really convenient Three hours of time that is probably not worth

Crazy man and like the president like Initiating something in a half an hour later Sponsor sorry Trump Stakes Trump cards buy your Trump cards here You imagine Trump's like estate sponsored the show somehow

Like what would we do? Would we accept that? Yeah. Yeah. If it's, I would die. And I would still talk shit. If it's stupid products, sure.

And I would still talk shit. Dude, I would chill at Trump's sake so easy. Yeah. I could do it so fast. He has like a, I think he has a casino game. I think I would totally chill that.

Yeah. I would still insult him. Like I would. Trump University. I'm pretty sure it's an operational, but I would still do an ad for it. Oh yeah. That's right.

Now it's, um, Hustlers University. with Andrew Tate, he's got that going on. Although that might not still, that might not be happening still. Yeah, probably. Who the fuck knows. I don't, what the hell is taking so long with this fucking investigation?

Oh, for Andrew Tate? Yeah. It's taking forever. I'm like, okay, how long does it take for you to, are they trafficked or are they not? Like, what, like, I feel like they've had, it's probably been like over a year. Yeah, it's been over a year.

Because like, so they've been in. It was before I moved in with Lillik, so it's been over a year. So there you go. And I'm just like, uh, let's go, man. I think it's pretty cut and dry when, on video he's explained this process of how he traffics these women

I mean I don't know what to do I don't know what I mean the investigation is moving slowly much like traffic would so I mean it's just kind of how it goes Hey hello But yeah Tim Walts I feel like things are going

A little bit too well right now With the yeah it's suspiciously Like the vibes are too good That I'm like There's gonna be Look I'm not saying this is true But there's gonna be something where he's like, I, like,

there's going to be a video of him like, like, punching a child in the face and like, like doing this to his peepee. I think he's going to be Jerry Sandusky essentially. What's that again? Remind me. Okay, Jerry Santusky at Penn State was, molesting the shit out of his,

uh, the football kids. Malesceding the fuck out of them. Yeah. And so this guy was, you're fucking, you're fucking, you're fucking damn.

Uh, but yeah. Damn, dude. That's pretty crazy. But yeah, so Tim Waltz, That's pretty crazy. Yeah, yeah.

He's a varsity football coach if I remember correctly. And so there's a possibility that he could be slamming ass of the varsity kids. I always. I said there's a possible. It is so sad that we're in this kind of place where like when something, when something, huh? Oh, sorry. When something good happens and we're like, oh, I think that looks pretty good. The immediate assumption is like, how long can this possibly last before it becomes really sad?

Right. Or like, like, what are we going to learn? Like, is my assumption? at this point is that like everybody that I've ever looked up to has probably done something really heinous and I expect that bare minimum and if somebody can live long enough and then die with nothing terrible coming out about them

then that's when I can feel safe being like okay cool yeah like I really love that like weird owl it would break my heart yeah there's a handful I would be really sad yeah my grandpa was like my hero and he like shot Asian people well you know it's not like he did he sign up and be like I can't wait to blow up. He absolutely got drafted.

He was, but it's just like, you know, like, that's a different situation. Everyone has done things that like, anyone can have done something. I'll be like, I don't fuck with that. But we're thinking more of like, you know, like say, where Dalyakovic is. He didn't even picked up their skull and said, Fatality.

It threw him back. It threw him into the butcher. Like, if I find out, like, if I find out that decades, decades, the 60s. Fatalities. I win. And he does like the, I'm too sad.

I'm too sad. Oh, my God. That is crazy. I was going to say something while. We're watching. Ermac. Ermac's fucking black. Oh,

who is it? That shoots the skull. Oh, fucking, no, Quanchi. Oh, my God. He starts,

Hey, look, I'm, he says that. Hey, look, it's me, Kwanchi. From the,

you know, the hit game, Motor Kombat in 30 years. You know, you know, Motor Kombat 4 from the PlayStation 1? I'm Kwanchi, and he throws the skull.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, I wouldn't believe If I saw that footage I wouldn't believe it If I saw your grandpa

Say I'd like this Nope that's nope I would see that And I would sit down And like grandpa Abraham I would I would contact the dead I'd go to like I'd go to like a medium

I'd be like Why was he doing that? He just thought it was funny I don't know what I was doing I don't know what I was thinking I was I got I was in a trance All the opium man

I was fucking saying Seeing stars bro Yeah I don't know It's just it's sad That we're in this place Yeah So it's

We're so cynical. Because it used to be that you could like really excitedly, like really like really like people. Who do you think of what? Do you think it was Obamna? I feel it was Obamna. People were so like hyped on him and we're so happy. To be, I actually, I was pretty cynical and empathetic. You know what I think actually?

You know what I actually think the turning point was sincerely? I think the canary and the coal mine was OJ. That was like the early canary kind of like, oh. What do you mean? Like people that you like are like kind of shitty? Oh, like people that you like are actually like could potentially be like really terrible monsters. I know the British have their own Like Jimmy Sable guy

Like that was that guy I was unaware of that Because I'm not a fucking inbred freak Who lives in the fucking UK That's very true But Uh Uh

My sister lives there She's not inbred Yeah she ain't Yeah So I don't apply to you Well she is now That she moved there I think that's how it

No! No Her teeth You got the chain You know the Inbride chain You know the Inbride chain She's her dagger like bro No

No but I think I think it was Those people For like that group of people And then like I think OJ was like early. It's like, hmm, curious. And then Woody Allen was like one of those.

I was like, hmm, okay. Woody Allen. Well, it's still not that many. I think Bill Cosby was the shatterer. You know what I mean? Because that was exceptionally. That came like around Trump too. It was like a wave of bad.

Early like 2010s, I think is when all that stuff. All that stuff started to like fall apart where like celebrity worship or like the idea of like really looking up to a celebrity kind of became like, oh, this isn't. Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side.

For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive, so we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it.

We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com

slash smart talks. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for

indeed sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills certifications and everything else you're looking for. Or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the

premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. It never was safe, I guess, theoretically. But now it's like explicitly not safe. Because Woody Allen, like, there's a lot of creepy shit about that. But at the very least, like that's like somewhat, I don't know. It's like you could, if you're a freak, you could get away from that.

I could not. That is mega grooming. It is mega grooming. That is like, I heard about that shit. I was like, this nigga sucks. Right,

right. But what I'm saying is mega grooming was mega common for a mega long time. It was like bands in their groupies and stuff. Like that's not, it's not that.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Bill Cosby, America's dad going on and quay looting thousands of women. It's like, that's crazy. For me,

the Woody Island thing hurt me to most. I was a communication major. first and being a fucking film person I was gonna you know that's how I met you guys what I was communication kids major first so I met you guys how that's how I met the group you were never in any of my classes

no not your classes but there was a huge group of us that's how I met people I'm I should you not I was going for my AA and in my freaking I'm in like liberal arts anonymous you don't gotta bring that up but like yeah but I was going for A and I was like, I don't really like this very much.

I was thinking film classes and I was like, this is, what fuck am I doing here? I'm dyslexic. I can't see these pictures. I'm so dyslexic. I don't know what people are doing. Dyslexic. I need glasses. I'm aslexic.

I'm black. I'm gay. I'm fat. I'm stupid. I piss. I shit. All that. Will you do that all in the class?

Kingston. Kingston, go outside. Stop pissing and shit in the class. Can you imagine waking? You imagine somebody's asleep in class and you wake him up. You go like, hey, wake up. And then they're pissing and shit and cry? No, no, no.

I'm so mad. Imagine you fall asleep in class and you wake up to someone doing that. You're like, and you're like stupor, you're like, yo, is he sitting and pissing in the corner? Oh my God.

That's, that's, that's, you got to go to different college. That college is marred, because that's, that's never getting out of my nostrils. Like,

like, yeah, the memory of that, it's just, it's sealed in, man, that would, you know,

that's a bitch, and his pants I have a friend I have a friend that I might have mentioned this on the podcast before but this guy was

this guy was a fucking he's been not maniacal man he was dared to so he was using this bucket as a seat because they ran out of chairs in one of his classrooms and then

I don't know why and then this guy was like hey it would be funny if I like shat in this bucket or something and then my friend was like yeah do it and then he fucking

shat in the bucket and use this socks as toilet paper and then sealed the bucket. But of course, it could only conceal the smell so good. So the whole class had to fucking go out and then he got expelled. The thing about... When you're that young, whenever somebody says, wouldn't it be funny? It's always just a reveal of like, this person simply wants to do this. You know, like, it's just like...

Literally. It's not like... Literally. There's nothing funny about it. It's just like, I really want to shit in this bucket right now. How can I justify it socially? Wouldn't it be funny? Wouldn't it be funny? Wouldn't it be entertaining for everybody here if I shat in this bucket? The answer is no, my friend. How is that funny?

Please explain me the steps how this would be funny. Hey, my morally dubious friend over here. I really want to shit in this bucket. Can you give them the green light? It's like, yeah, shit in the bucket. Thanks. It's just such a weird fucking request. Like a lot of those things.

Like, I remember when I was a kid, I remember like being, I don't know, I don't remember them specifically, but I remember instances like that. It was like, wouldn't it be funny if this happened? Yeah. Or if I did this and it's like, to who? Like, what do you mean? The answer is always no. Yeah, it's never been yes.

Yeah. It's usually like, leave me alone or like get away from me. Yeah, it's like, no, it's not. Because a kid that does as a kid that comes out of the dark. Like, he's like, you never see him in class, but he like shows him behind the jungle gym. It's like, it wouldn't be funny if I set half of America on fire. And you're like, bud. First of all, America's like the size of this block. I don't know how big the world is.

I'm six. Second of all. Yeah, but it would be funny though, right? Yeah, really good. It'd be hysterical, I think. Yeah, I guess. Can you help me get all the matches in the world? This just in, just to send a global fire.

There is a global fire. Every single match in the world is insane. How much of a space would that take up? That would be, I mean. Like if you hollowed out a building, a half-story building in New York City, there's no like floor, it's only like the casing of a building.

Would it fill up that entirely? It's a great question. Probably, maybe. Maybe, maybe not. How many matches exist? We're talking about matches that are made, not potential matches. Yeah, yeah. They have to be made matches.

Every, like, pause time right now, assemble every single match that exists right now. Not matches that are gone. Not every match that has ever existed. The matches that are in the world right now. Because matches are on a decline. Well, they have, yeah, I can't imagine. Like, I can't even remember the last time I... I still like a good match, though.

I just love that. When you strike it, there's that smell. It's nice to strike it. I have a match in my house. I have like special matches in my house. Special, special matches. Yeah. I have like this.

I have, you know, the little cowboy boot on my, on my, on my, on my, like, little table. I don't remember it.

I look at my table and it's a green matches. And the fire's green at first when I fight with you wicket. Oh. It's really cool. You have some like, is it like wildfire? You fucking nerd. No,

no, it's not like the, um, D and you're like, are you sure? I swear. I didn't buy it. Okay.

So it's just like green matches for no reason? Yeah, they're green matches. They're festive. I guess. Interesting. For what? For green day? I don't know if I burn cats.

When I set small animals on fire, they're green for a little bit. That's crazy. I've been green the fuck up. Help me. Help me. Help me. I'm green. And then they burn the death and die.

Yes. A dog says that. It gets on its high legs. I'm green. I'm green. I'm green. Dababababab die. Dabby.

Dabby. Dabby. Damn. D. I'm green. Debbie Dede. Deby Dean. Dabby Dean

Fucking stupid I need them That's it I found their Because you know iPhone 65 has been like Hitless for a while Yeah

Are they still around? I imagine they probably still Do shows in Europe Or wherever the fuck they're from Do European Imagine going to an iPhone 65 show And they don't sing blue Like they did

That hipster shit They put on to Brother Do do do do And then somebody else plays They play the fucking PlayStation song If they

If they did it play the place in the song I'd write it. Yeah, yeah. That was my jam. That's their only other song. Tegin 3 Metagis Solid. It's such a stupid fucking song. It's so dumb. It's a Lids of Wikipedia list. Grand Turismo. It's literally

It's a fucking spreadsheet. It's like it's like a PlayStation employees like tax document that they just like I guess we'll fucking. They just found it on the floor. They found it on the floor of SIE. And then they were like, I guess I guess we'll make a song out of this. We'll just sing this out. Don't worry. We'll just sing this out.

fucking stupid. There's one song on that list that I'm not, I'm unaware of. You mean one game? So yeah, what the fuck? One game. Yeah. What is the worst show you guys?

I can't even, something, it sounds like the lyrics to that song. It sounds like something with 11 in it. I don't, it's, I don't think, I think this song is way older than that movie.

That's a real game. I wouldn't be surprised. I don't, I don't know. I'm lying. I feel like it might be true. I'm surprised there isn't one, though. I know that that doesn't sound true based on my experience with games

and how many times I've seen the same cases over and over again in my life that I would have seen an Ocean 11, Ocean 11, but it wouldn't surprise me. There was like an endless runner on like a phone where you played as like the 11 from Oceans. I don't know what Ocean's 11 is. There's like a group of bank robbers. It's like a spy movie or something? Group of bank robbers. What are they, what's the ocean about it?

That's their group called Ocean. They're called the Oceans. And it's 11 of them. So each of them is an ocean. Yes. So do they call each other ocean? No. So it's not.

The name of the group. Oh, I'm an idiot. It's not even a game. It's a... Did they say patch, patch, no... Like, software update, 5, 6, whatever? They didn't have that back then. I've never looked up these lyrics.

I guess I've never looked at these lyrics because I thought he was saying something with 11 in it. And I'm like, the fuck is that game. But it says after odd well... After odd, wow, after Odd World, he says, we get 11. And I was like, is he saying another game? And I was like, something 11. I'm like, what the fuck is that game? So he says, we get 11?

We get a living. We get a living that came on our possession. And I didn't even know that's what he was saying. I didn't even know you're saying that. We get a living that came in our possession. Was that even, that's broken English as far. I think they're Italian, so it tracks. Oh, that makes sense.

Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. It was like I love reading pop lyrics from those Swedish guys or whoever the fuck. There was like some Swedish guy or there was like two guys that teamed up and wrote most of the pop songs. And like they would write the lyrics and you can tell that English isn't their first language because it's just that the songs don't make any sense. They don't people there are speaking. A lot of them do speak English, absolutely.

But if it's not your first language and if you know you might be one of the ones that aren't completely fluent. and I think I want it that way is the perfect example Oh yeah Yeah Because like that There was an original version of that That was like more grammatically correct

There was nobody liked it Yeah In comparison I guess this one yeah Just flows better But it I've thought about that as a kid I'm like what the fuck is this song mean

I was really I'm like I don't understand The point of this It's like People are from rumble flagging Or something like that And they speak like what they Like what are the northern people speak

Which part What are you talking about? You know what's crazy about Italy is that they everything they do God bless them Yeah It's kind of improved by other people

Damn You know what I mean Like I don't know man Like I think about like There's no video games That Italy makes But they're the most famous They're the most famous video game character ever

That is a good point You know like they're really I feel this is I think this is such a huge Like look I make fun of Italian as much as anybody else I'm from New York You know

That's where we do where we made better pizza Yeah You have to have better Italians in Italy But I'm just saying Probably But the idea is that like They've like

Their ancestors did so much art stuff You know What like Da Vinci? What did he do? What did he do? Yeah They didn't do But what did DaVinci do

What are they doing now? That's most of Europe now though Compared to like the history They had of like such a grand history And they're like, yeah, we're here now. Like, we were conquerors and wars. And now, like, we're not in playing stage anymore. We're kind of just chilling.

They got nothing. They got nothing anymore. Like, they got weak Olympic boxers that cry when they get hit. The shuffle. And they're like, oh, someone got you my spigant. And they're like, that's it. It sucks because she was so respectful to her opponent. And everybody else is a huge cunt.

She was so like, I lost and I feel bad. And I wish I did this for my father. Oh, yeah. And everybody's lying. Like, X, Y! X, Y! It was crazy. I had an argument with a guy that he did some art for me, for some merch.

And he, I was just like, man, you, A2, a two guy? Et two? Like, I'm like, I don't know why people were so confident in being like, she's X, Y. I'm like, who told you that? Yeah. Oh, there's this one fucking, this boxing organization for Russia or something that just said and then they literally have no proof of it. And I'm like, trust me, bro.

Yeah, but it's how everybody thinks it. But the thing of sad is that Izzy said something about it. Oh, yeah. And that hurt me. Because Israel, like a very, everyone opened his, everyone opened a mouth.

Israel said something stupid. He's a boxer, right? And he's, first of all, a guy, kicks boxers. He was kickboxed like the MMA fighter.

Yeah, we briefly mentioned it. Who I really liked. I was a big fan of his, you know? Like, I really enjoyed him. I thought he was very cool.

Yeah, but now he's stupid and, I'm gonna stop there. No, he's fucking, like a lot of those people were, I don't think they're red-pilled. I think that unfortunately, nobody looks anything up anymore. Yeah, yeah. And to be fair, Google is ass now.

It is really fucking shit. So even if you do- The AI shit has ruined Google. Yeah. I literally chose not to use that shit on my home's computer. Like you were like, oh, do you want to implement you new AI things and proof searching? I was like, no. I'd rather eat a man's ass.

Like, fuck that. Oh, that's hard. Clean, clean. Be a dirty ass, going to be clean when I'm done. Sparkling. I'll talk about me and somebody like you. Oh my God. Like a cat's tongue sandpaper, bro.

That is. All right. Look the color off a feller. Let's go to some questions, man. All right, what time is it? 30 minutes in? I mean, we probably have a ton of questions. Can you do me a favor?

What? Can you grab the iPad off the desk? Yeah. Look at him. Look at this fucking bum. What I do with somebody asking me and I'm a fucking punch for that. You do me at favor or you're at? He's fucking.

Pussy! Fucking chud! Oh my God. I kind of get bullying sometimes. You know what I mean? I try not to bully people. Then I like it. I like it a lot.

That's why I try to do it. Yeah. The whole thing about like a lot of this stuff, that's happening right now. It's like, I've realized that I heard this quote a long time ago. I don't remember who said it, but it struck me pretty well. Those who are not, okay, go ahead. Those who are gay are gay. Yeah. That's just it. It just really, it just really struck me. No, the, uh, you cannot reason a person out of a position that they did not reason themselves into. And so it's just like, if you find, if you're talking to people who are just like going off a shit that just makes, that is not based in reality, you can't really help them.

Like it's kind of done. Oh yeah. You got to inform them and let the world teach them the rest of the lessons, you know? Because the thing about like, because you can still argue, because there are conversations and arguments that you can have from a position of, you know, not knowing everything. You know what I mean? Like the X, Y stuff. It's like, okay, let's say like hypothetically, like let's talk about this as if this is true.

What would be the explanation for that? Okay, this is this syndrome that actually affects this, this and that that's actually a real thing. That creates a problem because it's like, okay, well, X, Y. might be the chromosomes in this person, but their physical makeup says this. What does that mean? Because we don't,

we don't, like, we don't say that you're gay if you slept with somebody with X, Y chromosomes. We say you're gay if you slept with a person with a penis. Yeah. You know what I mean?

That's our, that's our definition of what gay is. Literally. Like, ostensibly. Like, chromosomes only matter because scientifically, generally speaking,

in most cases, 99% they influence the development of those sexual organs. Yeah. So like, it's literally that actually. Yeah, so like that you can, and you can still have this conversation going off of that X, Y, misinformation, and you'd still end up in a position where you're not right. Yeah, you're not right. And the whole thing that annoyed me about that, they were clearly moving the goalpost because they were the ones that Matt Walshers or whomever would say the criteria of being a woman is, can you have a baby? Do you have a uterus? That was the, that was the criteria. And it's like, as soon as, but I was saying, as soon as that was the thing where I was like, okay, this person has a uterus, oh, but X, Y. So they moved the goalpost. And I'm like, oh, but. So now you want to talk about chromosomes when you weren't interested before in any way she had performed.

And so like you said, Chris, you can't have that conversation. But I'm also annoyed because you never want to have that conversation in the first fucking place. Because before they were just trying to say, oh, no, no uterus, you're not, you're fucking, you know, I'm like, I can't. But again. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.

At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.

I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.

To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed, sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for. Or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a

no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos. This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to

Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for indeed sponsored jobs. Well, a conversation like that can only happen in person. Like what he was just saying? Yeah. That's what's so... You can't do it on Twitter.

You can't have a conversation like that. Like I watched middle ground often. I really like this show, right? What is that? I think it's like a hip hop battle, right? So it's a thing on Jubilee where like it's because people are opposing opinions and they kind of have conversations, right? What's really funny is that the most respectful one was lights and dark skin people.

It was a very respectful conversation. Oh, you watch that stupid fucking shit? I think it's interesting. I almost got invited a one. Really? I would love to do one of those. I would love to do one too. One called me.

I can't remember what it was about. but I know that it was like being gay and being causatively gay and you like one of the closeted gay ones no though it was can you imagine I would totally do it oh do you I would just lie don't go up there and lie it's no I would just make things worse you know that would be the most viewed episode it'd be funny as fuck but it'd be like this guy's I'm like that's Derek and he's not oh you would expose me no yes because you're making things worse for like in in my comedic nature I'd be like, this is funny as fuck, but I'm like, he is so. I'm like, yeah, I suck dick at night to go to bed, and I'm scared of girls.

Ew. You just made this so bad. I feel like the more interesting aspect of that conversation is like, let's have gay people in closet of gay people. Is that somebody would have to respond to that email. I'm closeted. But they'd be, they'd be like blanked out. They'd be like in the shadows. Like, you know how they'd be like, yeah.

They have the voice. I was really scared. from my homosexual tendencies. I get turned on by my own boners. That's an infinite loop. That's an infinite loop. You can never stop. That was one of the things that I was...

Look at my own dick makes me hard. That was one of the things that always confused me. That was one of the things that always confused me about being gay. Are you stupid? No, I'm not even joking. How old are you when you were like, oh, that's not how that works? I don't know. Probably like in my teens or something.

Yeah. Oh, probably 27. Probably like this minute, actually. Like, I'm only changing my stance because you guys are laughing at what I said. In fact, I still believe it until you guys. No, because you know the thing of like if, especially when you're a teenager or whatever, and you think about like, oh, what would do? The first thing you would do if you were like in a woman's body all of a sudden. Oh, you're fucking kidding? Like ruin it.

Immediately. Right. Put everything in it. So the thought of like, oh, I'm attracted to my own equipment. Like I wouldn't. That seems like such a. short circuit to me. People aren't...

Did you not realize that you weren't attracted exactly to vagina, but more or less the act of putting your penis of vaginas? Because not quite everyone's exactly attracted to vaginas. Like, I've never looked at a vagina and been like, Jackpot! I looked at a woman's physique and I'd be like, I want to... I guess you can say that for every

body part on anybody. No, for... When you actually think about it, when you think about it in an abstract way, you're like, oh, well, this is just sacks of meat and fat. I like booties, but then I raise the booty's doing. I like booties a little less, but I still like booty.

Well, see, I don't have that associated. Like, to me, it's the, it's, I just know that I'm hardwired through, uh, evolution. So you don't even, you don't even have attraction. You have impulse. No, I have attraction because I was made this way. So in the way that, like, say, when I see, you know, an ass doing this thing, I'm like, on a man. See, but that's, see, that's the thing, though.

I'm hardwired to when I see it on a man, I'm just jealous. That's all. But I'm not my people. doesn't get hard. I'm like, oh, I wish I had a firm ass like that. But if I see a woman do it, like say, watching the Olympics or it's watching this girl named McKinsey Dern in the UFC. And she weighed in the last weekend and everyone was like, like, yeah, she got way too much. What's going on? For a female fighter, she got way too much ass on her. Like, that's not. She bought something that were, I would say, 70% of her butt cheeks were hanging out of it.

And I was like, that is excellent. I appreciate that. I don't. I just, I just, it's over. I was like, what do you want, sir? I can't do a show with this person. Are you, you want to return to tradition? What is this? I just, I can't. He wants all Olympic, Olympian women to perform in Berkus.

Yeah, yeah, that's what. That'd be perfect. They're perfect for me. Like the boxing, I'm dula, and they just fucking, they gotta give a prayer to Mohammed, aim to the east, aimed towards Mecca prey, and then start beating a bare knuckle, dude. No, freaking brass knucks,

dude, knuckle dusters. And whoever I, dies first wins. They return to Allah. Did you say whoever dies? Wahlai. Oh my God. I don't know enough of that to know whether or not that's offensive or not, to be honest.

Yeah. I don't think it was offensive exactly. Do you know? Neeshan wants to be Muslim so badly. I do. But I'm scared because the ones that are, there's so many cringe ones. Go to the Sneko around. I'm going to get you in touch with Sneeko.

Yeah. I don't want to, man. Snego Time Sweeney collab? Yeah. That'd be a wild collab. Sneco Sweeney. the sneako sween I wouldn't do it because

for some reason like before you know it there's gonna be like a fucking 12 year old girl in your lap and then like a ring's gonna be like put on her finger somehow You know it's crazy Like you don't even you blacked down The drone is gonna come I'd rather I'd rather smite that girl Than have her near me is crazy

I'd rather like at least I'd go to jail for ending something Oh then so you killed your wife So basically you blacked out for some reason And she's in the corner with acid on her face and shit And you're like I didn't do you I don't remember I knew you

Sneak was like I saw the whole thing bro But no you don't understand You don't understand that That mentality of just like Understanding like the equipment Is like having the same equipment That doesn't like confuse you in any way Or like that doesn't strike you

It was like an interesting situation to be in As a kid I would see how you could have that thought And like oh I wonder if gay dudes Or since a gay dudes like penises I wonder if they think their penises Look kind of hot or something But then like And like, but then you get older and you're like, oh, well, a lot of people aren't narcissistic in that way where they find themselves attractive.

Right. So. But like I get how you can come to that. It was like on Scrubs, one of the doctors, one of the one of the retarded surgeons. Like they're sitting in the in the bar and like J.D. and Turk are having problems or whatever. So Turk is having a beer with that. I can't remember. His name's Todd or something. And he's like, oh, I can just talk to Todd.

And then literally the first thing he says, well, do you think gay dudes are turned on by their own weaters? And he walks out of the bar. It's like, that's such a stupid question. That show has so many fucking ridiculous moments. It is. It's not so much turned on, more so that is like, I feel like you're a lot more appreciative of the fact that this is what you have. Maybe. Like, I feel like it's more convenient.

I think this is an easy thing, like, for our gay audience, for our gay male audiences, or gay... Every gay... Only gay males. No gay girls. Well, yeah, unless you have a penis. Every gay listening. Anyone who has a penis and like... Only gay men.

Hold on. Every gay listening, let me know what this is like. Because I don't know. I really can't fathom it. I love the idea that we're actually going to get some feedback on this. I don't want any feedback. We have a lot of gay listeners. I don't want any feedback from girls.

No girls. Oh, yeah. It was like any time. No girls. None. Only guys. No girl. The fucking doctor.

The Dr. Manhattan wipe away. Purges a whole civilization away. Do it. All right, let's get the fuck Do it Call me the N-word I don't get a fuck When anybody says man

I love I love Zach Snyder's Fucking Uh fucking Whatever that movie Watch watch bands My brain just stop working Whatever whatever

Whatever that film he made With the blue With that blue guy With that blue nigga With the When he's in Vietnam And he has the biggest thong on in history Like he finally puts on underwear

He's in Vietnam And it has the largest thong ever constructed i was like yo that is that's that's a record right there i love dr manhant because i feel like i would just make silly shit exist yeah i just feel like i feel like he's so he even though he's constructed they made this character a decades ago but you know wait what are we talking about dr manhattan i just feel like he i just feel like he so perfectly represents millennials i think like the way that we kind of came up and the way that he's like man, you're aware of a lot of stuff now

and then you're just like, fuck everything. Because he's naked and nihilistic. Yeah. I think he's not a nihilist. Well, he's kind of, he's apathetic and kind of like, he becomes nihilistic when that's why he fucks, well, he fucks off to the, I think Mars for a while. He goes to Mars,

is the fact that he's like, I can't let, I can't constantly keep getting involved in these people's lives. Well, he doesn't want to. He's like, you guys suck. There's going to be a time where I'm going to be here and they're not. And I can't, They have to fix it themselves. And then they also made him the main enemy.

Remember they made? They blamed him for everything. He was like, I fuck you guys. I'm gone. Well, he thought it was actually, there was a great idea.

It was the only way that we were going to save from the whole nuclear war. Which is crazy because like the fact that he sees the past and present at the exact same time all at once would fuck anybody. Can he channel like every like horrible thing happening? So if you wanted to see every like dog getting kicked at once, you think you can see like that? Like it's like on demand. Like he just It's like an on-demand service in his own head

It's like I want to see every be heading now I feel like that would be Really dangerous overindulgence Tud's a creature Oh yeah Because I would do that I'd be like I want to see every time Someone's been fucking hit by a car

And immediately blew up And then I'd be like Whoa it happened a lot Yeah These are billions whoa I don't know about billions That's insane Billions you're like

Yo how many people have existed are the number of people way more than I thought? People exploding by getting hit by car. That must be like, that must be like below 100. Tens of thousand. That's below 100. 10s of thousands. A vehicle?

Tens of thousands. Look, man. I've seen at least a thousand. No, you have not. It probably happens at least 100 times a day in India. The density of the population is insane. And their numbers don't drop really, which is crazy. They put numbers on a board.

Poor communities fuck good. That's one thing. the only thing they have, man. Like, when you're not doing well, you produce babies and then have them build up the village and have them do shit. Chris were Puerto Rican. How many cousins, aunts and uncles we have? And they got shit going over there.

I miss. Because my thought was like, fuck well. Oh, like they're good at sex. And to me, I'm just like, that sounds terrible. Like, but like, dude, it's a terrible time. Yeah, just like, oh, this person hasn't bathed and they shat themselves this morning. You know? They shat themselves.

I feel like human. I feel like human. But I know what you're saying now. Yeah. Like a lot. Yeah. Humans. Hello, hello.

I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbeta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing. Whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together? It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?

Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the time? timeline of this technology. There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Contum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.

To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. worse, being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for, or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress,

less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for indeed sponsored jobs. Don't shit themselves and be fine with it.

Humans can't do that. Yeah, if you're a person that does that, I feel like you're below that. Yeah, you're below people. You're below people. You're not even a beast. Animals don't like doing that. Yeah, you're something. That's why dogs scrape their assholes against the ground.

And they just, yeah. And they do that because they need as a poor as a reason. They're not doing it. Like my dog never did that because my dog was. taken care of. You didn't see it. If he did it, you made me love my dog a little less.

Don't say that. You'd do it on you while you were sleeping. I'd be so mad. He starts sleeping and he starts on cross your body. I'd have a really cool. I'd have a really cool coat the next day. Who the fuck drew all over being smelly crayon? What the fuck?

That is bananas. Oh, my God. But what? Bananas. Bananers. DK. Donky Kong. He's the leader of the bunch.

You know him. He lives in fucking Inglewood, California. And his real name's Tyrell. Oh, my God. What is happening right now? Stop that. You know what you better. You've met Donkey Kong.

You've met him before. All right, all right. Go hard. Go hard getting bussy with it. Remember, you can ask a question. If you go over to Patreon.com, like snark tank. Remember, snarktank.

Dot shop. Got some cool merch coming very soon. I think actually in September, there will be some new, some new merch in there for you. On next week I think we should also

we should start reviewing some of the contest what do you call it? Not contestants contestants for the intro Oh we got a few Oh we did? I'm locked out of that email remember

So I haven't seen it Are you guys still locked out of the email? I just gave up I'm technically I technically handed that that aspect of this off to you guys anyways I was like, whatever. I guess I'm locked out.

Fine. I'll go through them. I have a Muslim star. I'll lose the restaurant. Star them. That's right. For the curious, we were having like a new intro contest or whatever.

We were having people send us, send us new songs and stuff that we can use. Yeah. We're going to do that soon. If you want to participate, I guess this is the time left because I think we said in September we were going to like try to like to be like,

all right, here you go. You guys top three or something like that. So if you guys heard the intro song many times if you're a listener, you think you can throw something together you probably got a couple of weeks or whatever Yeah, you got a couple weeks left Yeah, it better not have any girls in it though

No girls, no girls moaning Guys moaning's fine though No girls allowed women are of the problem All right, Sniko told me that women fucking suck So I punched my mom I, Matt Walsh and Sniko Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, right up there.

I'm not gonna say it, but Right up right up the money on that's up Go hard getting busy with it Oh go hard getting pussy with it But I got such a gay heart I'll make A woman fucker wonder If he wit it

Also I remember Tarzan Oh Somebody asked me for I cause I mentioned on that episode I think I don't know what that was No I don't know I don't know what that it was either

Anyway It's the last part I kind of get it Whatever he said I want to know can you throw me I want to know If the A N is tight B I'm just tight

B B you know It's good B Yeah that's what I was thinking I always said It was stupid Oh penis holes Hello meat

Teat and feet Would you rather Tatoo your whole cock Or both your legs and feet You have the You have the choice Of any primary color To do so

Blackout style Like a fill tool In MS paint I tattoo my penis What color? Bright yellow So then when I I knew you were gonna

That's so weird How did you know that? I don't know I even thought bright too. You guys are gay. You guys just like sync up too much. Because there's, you know why?

Because there's something about a yellow like a cartoonishly yellow penis. It's very funny because there's something to Simpson about it. That's why I thought it. I don't believe that. I don't believe that. I thought because of the Simpsons, it'd be funny.

Hey, Marge. Hey, Morge. Yellow Degg. Look at my yellow peepie boards. Plus I'm like dark skin. So when I get a boner, it'll stretch out so it'll be like some little cracks of like like my regular penis cutter

it'll look so gross it'll look off it looks so gross it looks faded it looks so gross I love it I like it I like it

I don't know I don't know if I like the idea of my Where's a lot Mard Homie Homie I like you Homer

Looks like chocolate And banana Yeah Yeah Marte I have a gun Suck this I will Mark sounds a little Suck this I will

Suck here yellow Pee P I will Be gone Luke I'm fucking Homer It's me Homer Simpson Homer Simpson is fucking Yoda Luke comes back in from practicing Like his handstands And it goes in and Yoda and fucking Homer

I'm going at it There's a moment where There's a moment where Yoda's looking at Homer's ass like this. He put his whole head in there from... Is this a part of my training? Yes. Get the fuck out now. Fuck out.

You live. Leave you will. Leave you will. There's a moment there's a moment where Yoda pops his head out of Homer's eyes. Get out! I do you be like, Regan. Get out, you fucking. Regan?

What do you say? It's an word backwards. He doesn't even have it works. He doesn't even talk about it. He called him a Regan. We got to make that more of a poem, we got to start calling white people Regan. You can't call it.

Oh my fucking God. Put that on a shirt and then watch people like walk by mirrors. Holy shit. Ring. Oh, man. Oh, man, I took my job photo with this one. No.

I'm ascending. I'm ascending right now. That's maybe like, oh, that's an amazing shirt. It's kind of amazing. I thought it was German. No, it's just the N-word backwards. It would have to be like, it would have to be like almost in like graffiti type place where it's hard to read anyway. Right.

And then you like go in passing mirror. That is incredible. Then it's in Times and Roman for some reason in the mirror. In the mirror. It is just aerial on a. white background in the mirror, but on your shirt, it's a fucking tie-dye with graffiti fucking multicolored. Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM.

I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to that, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example, if anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today,

with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment, And we say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things.

To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for.

Or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a higher than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now.

Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. I wish I could do that. It says I hate them. You bought my head out of Homer's rectum. I will. Lap it up, I must. And Homer just like, Oh, Oh. Just in pure bliss.

Homer goes. Homer's like, Do! No! Do! Do! Do! Do!

Is he getting assaulted? Yota's, because he's popping it in and out like real fast. Oh, so we see. Yoda. But it's probably like, it's doing that, like, but way fast.

Yoda is. Slow down. Slow down. Slow on Yoda. Up, Homer's ass, nibbling on his prostate, bro. Like a fucking dinosaur, like, with a tree star? Yoda, slow down, slow down. Go, go, go, no, go, go, go.

That's the only way that he could process pain. Fiddledity-Tee. No, yeah, oh my God. Anyway, no, I wouldn't tattoo my... I think I would, you know, I'd go for my legs. Whatever. I give myself like red legs like fucking Oh my god.

No, no, no like Red leg man. Is that a fucking, Is that a mega bad villain? No, he's like, yeah. It's like, Red leg man. No,

I got red legs. Red leg man is a YouTuber. Oh, shit. Red leagger media. There you go. Red leger media. I'm glad you said you got that. I was going to say that.

That's pretty good. It's good. Red leg. Red leg. Lanker Media is crazy. Hi, I'm Rich. I'm Mike. We got red legs.

We got red legs. Let's run around the room with our red legs. Let's review movies with our red legs. It's like this movie was great, but it made me not think about my red legs. His legs are red because they're so, they're in so much damage. They're hot. So they appear red. They're so swollen and irritated.

They don't walk. They've never walked ever. And they just been sitting in that room and their legs are so unhealthy. Your legs are just inflamed. Someone help me from lack of circulation. Best of the worst. Oh, God, help me. Oh, God.

Oh, God. Save me. I try to get up. He cuts his leg a little bit, and it bleeds so much. I was going to say, like, those lizards that shoot blood of their eyes. Those things are so cool, man. When I was a kid, I really wanted, like, lizards, I really loved the idea of my knolls. I liked.

What did you say? The lizards, annoles? Anoles? Yeah. I had those exactly. Yeah, those are the standard lizards to get. Okay, yeah, it was weird. Because I've only heard them when I got, I only heard about those when I got them and never again.

So the fact that you said that was like, what the fuck? Oh, yeah. It's the first time I've ever heard somebody else say that word. I guess it's like exotic pet shops that's probably like the standard one to get. Yeah. We always made fun of them we call them anales. Anal lizards. I know the shooters are.

I want to salamanders out that they were cool. Salamanders are cool. But I just, I just hate this. the idea of having, just because they're, you know, people don't take care of them well. Like, we had a, they're kind of hard to We had a nice light, but it's not like I had a nice heat rock or something. So in the,

in the, in the, in the winter, they were like, you know, you can see like, they're just like, their skin's cracking and they're dying. So then like you would pick them up and they would be like clinch to you because like you're all warm and shit. They're like, oh man, this is amazing. I'm like, this sucks. It's kind of sad. Yeah.

And you can't even really be as like, because you can't just fuck around with them as much as you think you would. You see videos of people fucking around with their lizards, but like, you extended contact with them kind of fucks them up and you. So, like, because like the, the oils that they secrete and like it's just, it's just not super sanitary in

comparison to like a dog or a cat even. Right. You know. It's just, a lot of... As a chameleon and he says, it's a horrible pet to have. They're like terrible pets that. Why? Pets on average. They won't, they won't sleep until you turn off the lights. So turn the fucking lights off. Well, no. So the thing is that he has to go.

He has to go there. He has to like, prepare it to go to bed. because obviously when he's not home, he gets away for the time it's awake, right? He doesn't get home by a certain time. It'll just stay up. And then when the lights come up, when the sun rises, it'll just wake up.

What's wrong with that? So the thing is that, like, if you don't put it at a certain time, we won't get enough for rest. Therefore, it'll get stressed out and stress can kill them.

Straight up. Stress can kill anyway. Like, not much stress. Like, like, for them, if they, like, if they spend that $75 in their, like proportionate to what they would experience,

they'd be like, ah, fucking it would die. Yeah, but counterpoint. A million dollars, I get it. But counterpoint, have you ever seen them grab onto like a cuttip? Gives him grab on to people and they hang on out and they're like, oh, what's going on?

It is pretty cool. But yeah, I just give it like a sword. I love them. When they got the little Lego hand, they got their little Lego hands, I can't help it. They're pretty cool. I look, that stuff all looks cool, but I think everybody that mostly has exotic pegged something. Shouldn't take care of them. Yeah.

It's pets in general, dude. People that have dogs that don't walk their, like you got to walk your dog a lot, man, especially when they're young when they're like healthy. You got to walk them for like two, three hours a day. Yeah, nobody. Like, genuinely. Nobody does that enough. That's tough to do, dude. Especially if you have a job,

anything that you have things to focus on. Yeah. You got to do that for them. What's the reason why as an adult I've never had a pet because I just know I don't want to, like the amount of time that I want to put into it to properly take care of it. Yeah. I don't really want to do it.

Yeah. By myself especially, like I'm not, yeah, I'm not putting the time in effort to do a pet room, but I does understand the fact of how much I'd have to sacrifice. I have to be ready. You have to be ready for things like that.

You know, it's like a child for me. Look, If I run out of, like, video games to play at some point, then I think I can have a pet. Because that's the thing. Like, in my free time, I really, all I want to do is sit down and just fucking, like, game. And I feel like a lot of that time could be used to take care of your pets, right? Also, you lose them fast.

That's what bothers me, too. The loss of a pet is the loss of your dog is a fucking harrowing experience. Yeah, I don't know why we haven't genetically made dogs that live for like 200 years or something. We can do it. We have the technology. They would get too smart. They would get too smart. Yeah, they would get them.

They plateau immediately. I don't think they would, man. You can't, there's literally a phrase for how dumb dogs can be. What is the phrase? You can't teach the dog new. You can't teach old dogs anything. But think of anything. That's the same.

Well, think of it like this, right? First of all, you can't train older dogs. No, you can't. Impossible. You can't teach straight dogs gay tricks. You can't teach gay people out of not be gay. I mean, you can't. They're just gay and you got to leave them like that.

Fags. At least it fags. I was like, that's crazy. Why would you say that? Well, you said it. I know now I said it. That's crazy. Why would I say that?

Such a homophobe, man. I can't believe we have such a scathing, blatant, seething homovovote. It's true, man. I really hate gay people in myself because I'm gay. What was the last time you guys seethed in anger? It was been a while. Probably playing. It must have been some type of Soulsborn game.

That was probably the last time. It was probably that because, like, I've been relatively, it's been, I like, look, I'll be honest, Soulsborn people. I like winning way more than I like getting destroyed. And so those games are fun as shit, but goddamn, they induce so much stress that you just don't, I think you don't realize it. It's a ton of stress. Like, I've played, I've played, I'll finish out of during it after I was done playing it.

I felt like, I felt my head was compressed like the angry head shape. And I had to be like, why do I feel like relaxing my head? I'm like, whoa. I think those games... And I was really hard too. It was crazy. Really hard. It was a rage boner.

Did you get rage boner? I can't... You do. It's not some lying. Look, man, this is what's going to happen. Now that you mention it, I'm going to recognize that I do. Because it's not like when my stepmom was like, oh, man, I have a hunger headache. And I was like, why, you get fucking headaches when you're hungry?

I never noticed that. And then I noticed that I do. So it's one of those things that you kind of just don't put two and two together. Yeah. So now the next time I get a. fucking raging hard on when I'm fucking frustrated. Oh. Oh, I want to have rage, mate.

I'm gonna fucking have sex with my couch because why not? Why not fuck your couch, man? I don't like the guy, but like, why not fuck your couch? It's your couch. I feel like if you just, because like dry couch sounds crazy, so why not just put a pocket pussy dry couch all the way? Yeah, you don't like dry. You don't beat your dick dry until it starts, you know, peeling off and in the

blood use the blooded lubricant. I mean You don't beat your dick with just water I feel like that's worse than nothing I feel like being you dick with straight water is so barbaric That's worse than nothing Barbarism At least like just like because like what like a hand job

You can just stroke the shaft up and down Skin's doing this thing but like water What if you don't sweat at all though You don't sweat at all the hand job is arduous I just feel I man To me it's that's I don't know man I don't even know what I don't even know what I'm going with it's the next question

All right wolfman 666 wrote and he says hey boys I'm back on the question tier after I plundered some de blooms Word welcome back bro welcome back wolfman My question for y'all is whether or not you would buy a brand new game for an older console There's nothing saying you can't just make a PlayStation 2 game in 2024 That is true technically you could do that The only group of people that do that is Atlas in fact Atlas still is willing to make and send out PS2 versions of their games

What are you talking about? they'll create PS2 versions in their game. If people buy it, they'll create, like, if you buy a Ducky from Aglis, they'll make up a disco persona for and then send it to you. Are you serious? Yes, actually. It's crazy, right?

How? They still have the ability to make it, I guess. Sounds illegal, but cool. Yeah, I mean, okay, cool, sick. It's wild. The only people to have it still. I know there are people who make their own, like, custom, like, NES games. I know that that's, like, a good thing because, like,

that's such old hardware and even probably PS1, you could probably still get away with just, like, making, making PS1 games off of, off of those old, uh, skews, the,

the black PS ones that people used to dev develop on. But yeah, I mean, that would be so sick. That would be weird as fuck, but I would be totally into that. There's something really special about owning, uh,

physical media. I know I don't really partake in it too much. Yeah. But owning, owning it is a really special thing. Because it's like for me, it was a bit books, you know,

owning the books I own. I really appreciate having them because they're like there. You know, they're always mine. And I can always embark on lots of people afterwards, you know, so I think that's really cool. by the same time the convenience of digitally buying things

just unbeaten man nothing beats coming on the pages of a physical book Nothing beats coming on your fucking uncle's playboy After he already came on it and it shatters There's so much come it's more it's more It's more of a tablet than a Patriot book And then it shatter Because you can't really come on a Kindle

It's not the same You can but it like it fucking the wind It's like it just easily wipe off It's boring Yeah it's boring like you want to see like Oh what pages are missing What pages are like stuck together It's like you don't get that experience

Go to a public level libraries and I just start sperming all over their books. You know, you got sperm all over the book sometimes. People, they'll know which one's the special book. You know, once they find the crested book, they're like, oh, that's the one. Exactly. I go to library, I look up female reproduction and then I come all over the fucking book and I leave.

That's insane. Those are like the least sexy diagrams. With my, with my dick out, I leave. What always does it for me is when you see, like, you see the diagram, you see the anatomy of the female and I see the little thing pointing to the anus. That does it for me. I'm actually genuinely astounded that that hasn't. The fact that that thought hasn't crossed my mind before is actually pretty astounding.

To come on a book at a library? No, the idea of like seeing a woman and then like for a flash of a moment, like realizing that that system is there. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business. My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side.

For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. Wow. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say you can leverage what we did.

We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. All right, quick quiz for the hire. managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for

Indeed's sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for, or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75-sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves.

At Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. Because I think about like sometimes I'll look at people talking and I'll be I'll be really aware that there's like a skull in their head like moving like a fucking puppet.

Yeah. And I'll be like very like it'll freak me out a little bit because that'll be like really aware of that like the fact that we're like skeletons and there's like sticks at the center of us and it's weird. There's moments where I realize that like every night before I go to bed I realize like I could die and it's crazy right. So like I'm closing my eyes. I'm like yo. It's happening right now. You're like a Halloween skeleton right now. That's terrifying.

You're like a party city skeleton to me right now. But it's like, dang, I can really like die right now. And I'm like, all right, I make peace of myself. And I'm like, right, I had a good run. Did you? I think I had a pretty run. Did you? I mean, yeah, I mean, it's not a bad run, I guess.

You know, I have this thing where I think about that every once in a while. Like, oh, man, you could go at any moment. And then so you think, oh, you should make sure all your ducks are in order. But then I'm like, if I do that, that means I'm going to die. I don't want to feel the prophecy. Yeah, in a superstitious way. Like, as soon as I get everything sorted out, like, just in case if something happens, something is definitely going to happen.

At that moment, you do that, and you turn around and some guys like, gun pointed to your face. And it's like, you did this. You did, you did this. You should have just lived life. And then the thing is like, right at that moment, you're like, oh, man, I didn't pay this credit card. Oh, man, I got an overdraft fee. And then he's right.

I'll be back later. He just poofs like a like fucking night crawler He looks at you and you're looking at him And he's just gone It has to be like There's no transition He's just there then he's not there There's no like flashing light

There's no like blur out He's just not there Just not there immediately That fuck with me for a few months I always like when it's like More of like the like They're there and then you turn around And then immediately not like

say uh like i was just playing yeah batman uh me playing uh cyberpunk uh johnny silverhand or he just always he's just there and then he just look away and he's gone he killed it as johnny superhand man canneries did a really fucking good job i would say my favorite moments in those game is when you get to be him oh yeah you get to play as uh yeah that was cool yeah when you get the fucking wild ass gun that suits explosives that gun is so stupid it's fucking pops people it's crazy it's so cool the guns you get in that game by the end of that game the weapons you acquire are so out of fucking pocket yeah that's what I was like I wanted that

immediately I just wanted you got no you can't get immediately you got to do submission I probably yeah I think yeah I mean I can just get them you mod it yeah I didn't mod the game I was actually so I so the first thing that I did of course I was like oh hell yeah I'm going to make everybody naked but it was uh it wasn't working well there was there was an issue where even if I wanted to put on clothes uh like say the idea is supposed to to be there's a default thing that should be that like oh this is gonna be gone

and this will be like nude it's like invisible like a lot of time about mods work but for some fucking reason if I it just didn't work well for me the armor box dude it's like you're just naked actually it was just yeah it didn't matter what I did dude's dick was out all the time and it was like I was like this is just stupid and it

what's the point if you can't see yourself but anyway next time I'm gonna I'll get deeper into it I'm playing cyberpunk again yeah although like it's it's schizophrenic Because I'm playing like a million other things. I'm playing Red Dead right now again. You play Red Dead?

Yeah, that was the, well, that was my last big game that I played before I was like, I'm going to do the A to Z. Yeah. I'm going to do everything. I do Sirepunk. I actually only do the fights. We got to, you know, like the bare knuckle fights. I only fight like the really big women.

I beat the fuck out of the big women. Cyre punk is weird. I'd be beating a fuck a dude. I get the gorilla arms. I cheat like a motherfucker. He's supposed to like have a fair fight. I put the gorilla arms on and I'd be beating the brakes off those ladies, dude. Why wouldn't you?

What are you saying? I was just saying like cyberpunk's weird because it like it plays very like I like it. And a lot of it is really good. But like as I'm playing it, it's just like man. It kind of just doesn't feel good to move around. Like I think there's something about CD project where like they just don't know how to make games where like it feels good to move around in them. I don't know what it is. Have you played it recently?

I'm playing it right now like literally like last night. I'm just like man. And you know what it is? good after because I had the whole game regularly before then I got like upgrades all the way up to the point I was using a lot of like the Shinobi and like deck stuff and I felt like butter running around the city I was just jumping on

buildings and fly it pretty much The thing to me is it's just like it's very clearly like That's not their first I guess they don't know They're not adept at making first person games you know what I mean it's it's a little clunky Like pretty often it's cool Because you can do so much and like there's so much There but like man like sometimes I'll play it

I'm like man I wish this I wish I wish I wish this felt like destiny like I wish I could do all of this the gameplay I want the same but it's just like moving around I see I wish felt a little better I love that game bro

I'd fucking run around with a snap rifle a pistol and a sword like a psychopath yeah like the like a melee combat in that game is like people make fun of like Skyrim for having like really clunky melee combat but like it's not really that different

in cyber porn it's kind of the same like you could do cool stuff like the Shinobi blocking where you guys could like deflect bullets back. That shit is insane, dude. I like that you have to aim it too. Like you actually have to aim properly to do it.

It's cool. I love that. I saw I killed, what's his name? A cyborg, cyborg guy. Never mind, forget it.

You're still playing a game. You mean like the, the big guy? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know you're talking about. The big failure. I actually,

I still need to do that. I think that's actually the last. Well, I mean, I'm work, I'm, that's what I need to toggle that next mission to, I think,

go fuck that dude up. I did the I think I don't know 100% of the game but I did every mission every mission every gig every size story thing I did and I was like I played this game I definitely didn't do that I yeah I I like I cycle but the weapons I had were insane the weapons I had were insane I was like I was a god yeah yeah I'm already good enough and I'm not even like I am so since I was kind of blazing through it I'm like I'm good enough I'm I'm basically glass cannon right now yeah you know like so if it's very it's very easy to get killed if you're trying to rush.

And sometimes I'm just trying to get through the things. I love it, dude. I love it. I get the wire. I wait people until they die. Then I call them slaves and I whip him some more. I whip him again. All right.

Scooped James. He whipped him some more. Scooped James Rodin. Waits up. Yeah. He did see La La and Poe. I noticed, yeah, the Tinky Winky. I remember that one in Poe.

People had a problem with Tinky Winkas. He had a Perth. He had a what? Perth. What's that? A what? A purse. A purse.

He did it. He did it by mistake. I was like, what? Anyway, he says, I remember Chris mentioning that he'd be sad if something bad came out about Jack Black. So with his Zionism and cutting Kyle gas loose, how you holding up, Chris? Fine. I mean, that's like.

Zionism, what do you say? I don't know. So, what, are you just supporting Israel or something? I don't even think so. I think he was like... I think he just said something out sort of like... Seed death of Palestine. I don't know.

I don't think... Wow, that strikes me to say... Like, I haven't... Look, I haven't paid attention to everything Jack Black has said because, like, why the like, I don't... Why would I... I thought you would have seen something about that, because as soon as everything happened with a teenage deal, you know, I got ball brought up.

Yeah, the thing about, look, here's the thing about that kind of, the whole Israel thing, right? I think it's dumb. But it is mega common. okay like this is like a very deeply entrenched kind of cultural thing I'm not gonna get bent out of shape about it if like fucking noish nap from fucking stranger things like really loves Israel like I could give a fuck I think it's dumb and it matters

Jewish man loves Israel yeah like it matters I guess for policymakers I guess like that's like the only time where I'm gonna really give shit but it's such a commonly held position that like I don't know man I can't I'll you know laugh at the idea that like oh they're wrong or whatever or like if they're wrong about certain specific things like that's fine Yeah. But, like, I was talking more about, like, you know, he's a pedophile or, like, a rapist or, like, a fucking serial killer who's been quietly, like, operating in the shadows or something like that. If he was the racist, I wouldn't hate him as much as, I'd be like, racist is, like, the most bad fine thing you can be with me being like, I'm kind of on your side.

Like Kanye? Yeah, I think so for him. I really don't follow Kanye anymore, which really sucks. I mean, well, did you hear that? Did he have, like, a new album or whatever? I didn't give it. I saw it. I was like, I'm not goes to this.

Why not? Because I just I can't anymore What if it's good I heard it's bad actually I can't keep I can't keep I'm gonna choose to ask If he stopped making music

Because I respect his first Several projects I'm gonna leave it that's that Yeah there's nothing wrong with that man I mean it's how It makes me sad I can't keep doing it I feel like I feel like I would be too curious

If I were you like I'd be like what the fuck is Just wanna like hear it I guess Yeah like what's going on Well see like because I don't feel that way about like say I used to you know over a decade ago I really respected Joe Rogan And as time went on It was getting a little less and lesser

Orlo like I still like him But now it's at the point where I'm like I kind of detest him Yeah but Joe Rogan puts out so much stuff You know Like I feel like with an album Or like kind of it's like it's like maybe like once a year max You know

For me I don't know I'd be fucking curious For me my perspective is this right And the investment is so low It's like what like 30 minutes maybe I'm supposed to a podcast It's like fucking

I'm not gonna spend five hours I'm gonna spend five hours I'm gonna spend five hours I guess what I mean is like I just don't care about him anymore. Like I don't like them and I really don't care to like even. Right. That's fair. In the same vein where people in the comedy world are trashing his new Netflix special.

Oh, it was dog shit. Of course it was. Before even seeing it or anything, he's never had a good, I saw him live one time. And everybody, Bill Burrow was great. Like this, it was Joe Rogan and friends. Their friends were great. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.

I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake M. Bata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff, building actual physical machines.

Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.

To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for. Or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs.

It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. Joe Rogan did the longest set and it was fucking ass.

Joe Rogan's not really a comedian Where'd he get in this comedy sphere? Like I just don't know where he got me Well, I know exactly how his friends Thought he was hilarious in like the locker room When he would do like Taekwondo and shit So he would do like all those competitions And he was like the comedian of the group

Like you're fucking hilarious And after a certain point He started getting into that Because he realized Oh I don't want to get kicked in a head for a living You know which I feel like you should have went down that route To be honest Either that or just stayed away from comedy

And just stuck with his When he started doing acting And the Fear Factor shit And then the podcast But the comedy aspect of it I'm like Every time I would listen to his friends That'd come out on his podcast

And they'd be fucking around He would almost never say anything funny It would be everybody around him And it was like He's a great beacon But that was it Yeah he's like He's like an interviewer

Like he's the person That you put in front of people so that they can, they can kind of bounce off of him and, like, shine. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like talk show hosts or something where it's like, okay, like, some, like very, with very rare. I mean, Conan O'Brien's really the only, like, late night television personality. He's actually funny.

Like, the rest of them are kind of, like, fine. You know what I mean? It's more about, like, the people that they're talking to. Right. And Joe Rogan's that. Like, he's just, like, he was a really well-connected guy who knew a lot of comedians. And that's just how'd, but he's not a, like, he's never had. I can't think of a single Joe Rogan joke.

You know what I mean? Like, there's no. like I don't I really like sincerely like I I don't know if there's like a single one that like and the only one that I can think of is the one that everybody made fun of him for which is the hump in the stool yeah that that is the icon that is the Kardashian we was pertaining to be like the Kardashian old something happens when you turn into a Kardashian dude I don't even remember the the content I just I just remember everybody laughing at him because he was like oh he's he's hump in the stool for like just to get a reaction he does this retarded physical

comedy that's not good at all actually I don't like most physical comedy to be this is personal preference on a stage it's ridiculous yeah so it's not like yeah that's what i mean exactly when i'm talking about stand-up comedy yeah idea somebody's like ha ha real physical comedy shoot stuff in the face it's not funny to you someone blows their head up if somebody with a colt they put a colt under their chin if it was someone like hey laugh and you don't if physical comedy did that right now i would laugh i would not physical comedy is like is is not a stand-up thing like you don't like you can't but don't you have to stand up you should You are sung to.

Shut the fuck up. You should be boiled. It won't work. It won't work. The water will get cold as soon as I get in it. That's insane. That's a wild statement. You say, throw it in a boiling pot.

They put you in a brass bowl and you're fine. Just... Solid. It freezes. Solid. But yeah, no, like, I mean, yeah, I saw, like, one clip of it, and I was like, maybe I'll watch it. I don't know. I have Netflix for, like, a little bit, so maybe I'll...

Lillian was like... like why are you watching this? You actually turned it on? It's so stupid. Yeah, it's, to be fair, I was, a lot of the prestige of,

uh, comedy specials have really worn off in the, in the past years. There were some bangers in the early 2010s. Yeah. And then, when Chappelle came back, I thought it was a good as little resurgence and then it fell off again.

I remember one or two of them being good. I don't remember when he came back. When he came back, like a comedy special thing became like old things. I remember watch Andrew Shultz's one. It was, fine. It was okay.

Well, Shane Gillis had a pretty good one recently. Shane, that last one, like, what the fuck was it? Oh my God, where he talks about. I think it was just live somewhere. I don't know if it had to be. Yeah, yeah. Were you like, it nicked me. It nicked me.

No, like he's. I think he's mad funny. I think he's like genuinely like. He's actually like one of those people who's like genuinely like he's, he's edgy and funny in a way that like works. You know what I mean? And when I say edgy, I mean like he's, he's touching subjects that are like, you know, a little bit like.

You know, not great. The thing is that a lot of people don't do, they don't see the landing of you got to be funnier than you are fucked up. You have to. Yeah, we've talked about that a lot where it's like the whole point is, and I think I've used this analogy before, but like,

you know, if you're doing like edgy stuff, it's almost like diving in a dumpster, like looking for like a diamond. And if you're just like, if you just get dirty and you don't put out of, pull out a diamond from that garbage hand, then you're just a dirty asshole.

You're just like an assing garbage. You're dirty for no good reason. And it's like the whole point is like you dirty yourself. And then you're just, you pull out something that makes it worth it. And most people just aren't really good at it. They just kind of roll around to the top and get all fucking, it's like, oh, slur, slur, slur, slur. And it's like, it's not a joke.

That's funny. It's funny in the sense that like, if you saw that in the street, it's hilarious. Like, if you were getting a sandwich and some guy just, like, was getting a sandwich and he just shouted the N-word 50 times in a row for no reason and then walked out. That shit is hilarious. But I'm not going to pay for that. Right. I'm not going to pay for this. I could see this.

I would pay for that. You know, remember, like, people watching? in New York, all sorts of crazy shit. That I think is hilarious, but I wouldn't pay you to see. I remember people stabbing. That's funny. I mean, you are watching people get stabbed. That's physical comedy.

You want to somebody. You do one of the... This is fucked up. This is really fucked up. We do one of the things like, hey, what are you saying to? Oh, came after you were back, stab him three times and leave. Oh, those TikToks where they're like, what do you got playing in your earphones or whatever? And you just kill them.

They don't kill them. They don't kill them. You don't kill them. You don't kill them. You don't kill them. stab him twice. That'd be on, like, kick or something. You don't kill him, the blood loss kills him. Yeah, right, right. They're not in the hospital.

You didn't do it. But yeah. You guys fail. Yeah, Shane Gillis, I think did it well. I think, I think even Chappelle, like, early when he, like, around, like, pandemic or, like, pre-pandemic just before. Like, his first, like, two specials, I thought we're pretty good. Like, sticks. Like, it's, oh, go, sorry. No, I was going to say, like, six and, like, I watched Stix and Stones with Gabby, Paul, and,

and, like, a bunch of other people. I think you were there, too. They were out of the house. And we were cracking the up. And that's like a joke that there's a bunch of jokes in that one about like all sorts of shit like the stuff that he would he would go on to like constantly harp on and it would make it kind of like boring and unfun.

But like his joke about like the LGBTQ car and then like stopping along the road and picking people up is hilarious. That's a great. It is a well-crafted joke and it's like he's getting dirty and it's like oh he's being clever with it. There's something here. But then like now it's just like I don't know man. It's like the new that fucking norm show basically.

He revealed that he's a, what's it's called? That's how I feel. It's a boomer. It's gotten to a point where I think why crowdwork is doing so well nowadays is because of how unoriginal so many people are being because they're all just doing culture war takes. And I feel like a lot of people are fucking just, they're so tired of it. It's boring. The written material is just not as good as it used to be. And it's, and it's lazy.

It's lazy as far. And I mean, crowdwork is to an extent lazy too. It's lazy, but it's original in a way. that each person that you're making fun of is not the same person, if you know what I mean. Yeah, it's spontaneous. Yeah, exactly. And there are people who are really good at it.

Yeah, there's people that are very, and they're doing the best right now. Like, say, there was that guy that got chat on for a while. I forgot his name. He was like, they said it was really handsome. Oh, Matt Reif? That's, that's him. I guess he blew up doing crowd work.

I haven't seen his work. He's good. He's okay, yeah. Stavros, Alquiz. He was in Comtown and he left because he wanted to blow up more. and his crowdwork clips do gangbusters of numbers. And I'm like, damn, what annoys me about that is I've never considered doing that type of shit. Because I've always been like, oh, I want to do stand-up, but I'm too lazy to write.

And I'm like, dude, crowdwork, I never even thought about that is a thing that I could, I could, I love roasting. Roasting is like the thing that you do like, we could fucking, you know what I'm saying? We could do crowd work, I could do crowd work and literally blow it. I would feel so scared going up there with no written stuff though. It would be weird. I would just go up there and I would let it fly. But it would probably get turned into like, it would be like ha-ha-ha to booze. Get the fuck out.

Stab that man. Kill that man. Kill that man. Murder. Yeah, I like, uh, if they don't laugh at my jokes.

I'm going to see some wild shit to them. I just, just, just get to it. Like, you just get up there and be like, pretty sure my dick's big in yours, man.

And then somebody's going to get mad and then you want to fucking do something about it. And it gets all awkward. And then you hit on his fucking wife and it gets weirder. Then I go down there and I put my cock in a safe in his mouth. And then you open your jacket And there's a bomb strapped dude No, there's the fucking nuke on me I'm like, I love Huacbar

And I fucking You somehow have the fucking The fucking Oppenheimer Fucking Adam bomb The first atom bomb That they were telling Trinity test Atom I went back in time and I got this

Somehow you open your trench coat And then it just That would be fucking insane That's tuned for us You throw it out the guy in the front I put a dome over him I put a dome over him and blow him Only him

Like it's just so much A light comes out of him There's so much a light And I'm like For as I'm like holding it down The idea The idea of putting a nuke And I'm slipping slightly though

Like I'm having way more trouble Oh my pop up up Oh Chris come out here Come out here Help me out And you're scared You're like Oh okay

The premise of putting a nuke next to like a mouse and like putting a fucking dome over it is fucking crazy and that it would work and then it wasn't it's done

it's just a little smokers that was almost really dangerous that was almost really bad if we didn't have this particular dome we would have all died you open it and there's a hole like a perfectly cylindrical

whole shoot and then you see light at the other side and then you turn them you hear some might speak in Chinese on the other side like that animated you hear you hear fucking like Mandarin or something and then after that you hear screams because it all funneled throughout and up through there you see the core

of the planet you see the bright light of the core of the planet you're like that was silly huh niaha nihawa niggas You scream. You hear you. That's some shit the mask would do and really not understand this and fuck shit.

I'd be like, what, why somebody's so mad? It's like, bro. Yeah, he wakes up in the morning. Oh, fuck. The regular guy? He's like, bro, I killed so many people just now. I sexually, I put my dick in someone's mouth.

I fucking nuked him And then nuked an entire country Oh, God, bro We need a show I show speed Join the IRA, Rodin He says, what's up, you bunch of British cigarettes?

Damn! So Lucy's? Nice. That's New York, right? I think he made a bon of a stick, Mike. I do always do it. Oh, you do?

I always do it. Oh, you, we're not too. You do you like. That's the guy. I have a friday fan's a little dude. O'i, Huey. I was thinking of I'm Alex. Sook me cock.

O'i Huey. I'm about the picture in the head with a fucking brick. Oye, what's up with Starlight's face, Mike? What's going to do? He was but fucking the clone. He was like, I'm down. Oh, dude. Only butt sex.

Painal. What so oldish then? You didn't know what was me? We got to make yourself. Yeah, you gotta, you gotta look appalled, essentially. You gotta look at Pauling. My jest. You didn't know what was me, no, I was butt fucking.

Yeah. We've never had anal. How did you think that was me? I thought you finally came around with, bitch. Fix your fucking face, you stupid bitch. You stupid gaunt whore. I'm out of here. My Homer Simpson Yoda porn isn't loading.

Oh. If you, okay, let's say. Oh, Huey, what's wrong with my Homer Simpson's Yodiporn? Is that the boys? Yeah. Oh, Hughie, fix my porn. Oh, you fucking wanker. Listen, Yuri.

Ewie. Yowie. What's going on my, what's going on my Yodiporn? Let's hear. Afterwards, if it all works, I'll even suck your dick and beat the fuck of that black fellow's been boring, right? Yeah. I really hate black people, I think. I think I fucking hate them.

I think I want them in my country, I think. I think. Ewie. Ewie. I love him so... I'm going to... I think he's such a good casting for a character because his smile is so diabolical.

It's so tiny and devious. He's got such a tiny, mean smile. He's definitely... He's low-key, one of my favorite actors. I just never thought about it, but... Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. He's been consistently, like, great in every single thing he's been in. I like, I mean, I don't need to bliss it off, but yeah, everything's been in.

I've been like, fucking... Ewie. Yeah. Let's burn some Jewish people, Yuie. It's like, what the fuck? What is this like the reboot of Shinders list? I could have done more, but it's okay. It's okay. It's all right. All right.

Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them. Pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago,

they're already five years behind it. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today with the goal of being, 70% more productive. Yeah. Wow. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process,

because the biggest change is not technology. It's getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. being understaffed or being poorly staffed. Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for.

Or, go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves. At Indeed.com slash podcast.

Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed. Sponsored jobs. Pack it up. We go to Bukkabbo.

I love that clip. That clip of him, that clip of him saying that is what it, ate your little boyfriend in the car walk, Bukta. It's amazing. I know he laughed off saying. I know he laughed his ass off watching. I didn't know how significant that scene was until I saw it circulating.

It's a core part. It's a core part of that entire season. Is there, um, Buket Bapam. Does he, does he have like what is I know he has an accent but like is he he's Ozzy no no he's British he's British

he's British and then Anthony Star Anthony Star is Ozzy Anthony Stars from a Kiwi yeah Yeah yeah the Kiwi lands I'm like stop making our American people from not America Well you know the problem You're not my problem exists right

We don't fund the arts Yeah you go simple as that We suck and also our Americans They're not even These Brits are these foreigners are doing better at being American than Americans. It really pisses me. I will say, dude,

it's not okay that British people have been Spider-Man for the majority of his screen time. Not cool. Because it's never been a New Yorker which is hilarious also, too. If they do it again, I think we riot.

No, it's our fault. There's got to be somebody. That we'll do a... It was almost Salome, but he chose not to say he didn't get in. I'll do a January 6th, I think. If the next live action Spider-Man is British,

I'm going to January 6th. Well, what you look? Garfield's a halfie. Stu, no, he isn't. Yeah, he is. No, because his accent. The accent is what makes you. Boy.

But he's a half of you. He literally is half. No, I don't care because he has an accent. You're going to do January 6th. But he also can talk like regular American, like not even like accenting like old speaking American. He lived half his life in both places. I don't care. Hey, I don't care.

He has an accent. I don't care what a lot you throw at me. He's a different. He's got a fucking accent. That's all that matter. Put that bottle down, bro. So. Chill, bro.

You're acting real, you're acting real on brand. What if I shadow? What if I shattered it? Uh, that would suck because it would... With my left hand. It would become my and Derek's problem.

Your hand would be fucked up. My throat would be open. I look like a little throat pussy. So you mean like shattered with that? Oh my God. That little throat pussy. All right. All right.

I should be joined the iron. He said the British thing. He said, You know, me your throat pussy, homie. Mm, your prostate tastes like gummy bears over. If you had the choose between only eating the same meal, the same main and two sides. Oh, fuck.

You got a headache. You gave my fucking migraine. Whoa, I got dizzy. Did you eat today? No. No, I didn't. No. It's so late in a day.

It is 5 p.m. Oh, shit. It is, huh? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I had a cup of. Let's be the second to last question. Palmer.

ice tea lemonade. That's so crazy. You got to eat, man. Dude, I can't stand. I can't stand how irresponsible my adult friends are still. Like we're grown-ass adults and we still do dumb. I'm at a eat. I forgot.

You're saying that like it's like it's new or something. I made sliders too and I just forgot. I could have ate them easily. He made them look at them. It was like, mm, good job. And it walked out.

Was there a bug? I thought it was a spider, but it was like a gnat or something. Oh yeah? It looks like a nothing now. It looks like a stain. Sorry. Yeah, I don't know.

I've seen... It's like a part of it now. Yeah, I don't know. There's definitely like something going on. I've seen like one bug like that already. I think it was a nat. It might have been... Probably got to seal up some holes.

Yeah, when they sneak in, man. Whenever they do, whenever they renovate afterwards, there's always going to be shit moving around. This is the nature of the beast. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's fucking annoying. I'm just glad they're not like filth bugs. You know what I mean?

Right. True. I'm actually, I'm curious about there's these bugs that keep showing up in our bathroom. What it looked like? They look like they're roaches, but I can't, I'm not, like, first of all, why would they be coming from the bathroom? Why are they not trying to get into the kitchen or anything where the food's at? I want water.

I don't know what the fuck. They don't want anything. They don't want nothing. And I'm, I was actually going to text my manager and say, hey, how is my, you know, my partner, my apartment's on the right, the person that lives next to the next to me. Have they complete? Because, you know, nothing problems on any part other than the bathroom, which is connected, the walls connected to, you know, my, the people that live to me on the right. And I'm wondering, they look like film students.

I wonder if they're just like living in squalor. And maybe. They're filming filthy fucking fetish porn. They're putting like fucking dung beetles in someone's pussy. Oh my God. And fucking butt fucking fucking them. Amazing. If you had to choose between only eating the same meal, the same man and two sides,

or listening to the same album for the rest of your lives, which would they be and why? Oh, wait. So what? Same meal? Same two sides? I'd be fine with that, bro. I 100%. It would make things way easier for me.

Curry chicken, some rice and some Mitch vegetables, bro. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to that. Pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny,

little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. So we are not asking our clients to be.

be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change in our technology is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're

looking for, or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time. More risk. Less time. More results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job

for Indeed sponsored jobs. I think you're underestimating how the human brain works. and how you would probably die from boredom of that. I think I'd be fine for a while. You think that until you're forced to live that reality. But it's only that meal. The human brain is built almost to like be unamused by something, even if it's really good, if it's repeated. I got to say this though.

The way that my brain works is if I, if I only have one option, what I mean by this is when I've been dirt-ass poor and I just bought the same shit in bulk, I would completely fine. It's when I have money and I have options, that's when I can't be content with eating the same thing. So I think if I literally cannot eat anything else,

I think I'll accept it. Yeah, I think you just would have no choice. Right. But it would eat away you slowly, I think. Maybe, maybe like after like a year or so or something. All right, fucking hot water and lettuce again. See, like if it was just hot water and lettuce, I would kill myself.

There was like some old lady who said that. It was like it was like, what's your secret? She was like not, she was like 100 and something like 102 or something. Yeah. And people were like, what's your secret? It was like I drink hot water and I eat fucking celery. That's just like, that's not a light. Why would you want to be that old and eating that?

Like if I was, if I was 102 dude, every day fried chicken. Every day like pizza. Like the worst. There's an old lady. It's like I drink. I drink it. The pig was like the doctor that I told me. The page was like the doctor that told me it would kill me died.

That's crazy. I mean, that's, hey, that's fair. She didn't say that she shot him, which is the actual story. That's really what happened. She shoved the doctor pepper up his ass the fucking long way. Hey, some people are built different though, man. And it spun it in there like a fucking spin the bottle game when he died. But yeah, anyway, it's just like, what would they be?

I don't know. If I had to choose an album, I think it would be, I would choose, uh... I couldn't do that. I couldn't listen to the same music every day. Yeah, I couldn't. That would, I would wait. The same 12, something. longs over and over again like being cheese burrito fries and uh I mean being in a

piss burrito yeah be in a piss burrito some fucking right fuck off some nice fries with yeah with piss fries and um piss fries and um piss shake the plate has to be made a piss too yeah somehow so mad I'm not mad a plate of piss is crazy multitasking I got to eat this because uh yeah go ahead he almost fell asleep he almost fucking dizzyed himself to death i was like i'm starting to notice that i'm like oh i'm feeling a little weak you chose shit dude yeah isn't that wild that you could just feel it yeah you just feel yourself shutting down yeah i was no but like you feel like i love that fit there's something that's like i was like i almost like that feeling it's almost like a fever where like it's it you feel so disoriented and so weird that it's funny

like it's fucking funny how weak you feel like during a fever or like when you're really hungry. I think that's so stupid. But yes, I've seen your fucking dumb ass giggle like an idiot when you got the fucking COVID shot and you were sick.

You were like, yo, dude, this is fucking funny. I was like, don't come near me. I was like, I remember reciting the beginning of destroy all humans

over and over again. You can't like, I was like, dude, don't come near me. Like, stay over there. Like, stay where you are at. Do not get me sick.

And you were like, you're funny. I was like, seriously, don't come near me. It is fucking. It is fucking. Feevers are hilarious, man.

Like it's like I'm hot and I'm cold What the fuck? For me this is a joke It's the power drop of fevers Like you'll be you'll be like Kind of humbling you're out of energy You're just on the floor You're like whoa that was silly

You get back up It's the novelty of feeling that deeply out of sorts Because you're gonna die actually You feel like oh I could not be alive from this And people used to die People used to die from fevers Isn't that crazy like they would kill you Yeah

Well the fever wouldn't kill you then what would kill you, Chris? The thing that gave you the fever would kill you. It's a good point. Because the fever, I mean, you're... The fever is like a symptom of something wrong with you. You're right. Yeah, trying to kill off something that's in you.

Yeah, like, you wouldn't go to... You wouldn't go to the doctor and they would diagnose you with fever. You know what I mean? Like, you would have a fever because you have... Oh, yeah, fever. Boom! He got his fever, and he grabs your neck and he starts pulling it off. You're like, stop.

He's like... Sorry, boy. He's... Sorry, boy. Stop, stop, stop, stop. You just have a long neck now. Oh, he just ran out of strength at the very... Oh, like those tribes with the rings or whatever?

That shit is crazy, man. Pick it up again tomorrow. You're like, Okay. Somebody had a fucking... I think it was in Mortal Kombat, deadly alliance. Some asshole had a fucking fatality like that.

The uppercutte junior shit got fucking lanky, I remember. You would, it was, like, no, no, no. It might have been Kwanche. I don't remember. Somebody would literally just get on top of your shoulders and then stretch your head up. And it's so fucking funny because about stupid. It looks ridiculous.

I did such a hyperbolic thing to somebody. Like you jump on someone's shoulders and you grab their neck like under and then you stand up with all your might and you pull that fucking spine out. It's like that is, that's a good move. You can't do that to somebody, right? You theoretically could. If you were, you would have to have a lot of, you have to be really. fully fucking strong to rip someone.

A person? Couldn't do that. Yeah. But a machine. A machine. Absolutely. You get a machine to do that? Oh my God. It'd be hilarious. Be wild. Machine can definitely rip your bones out. Here's another one. Gandalf. You're by a man. He grabs you by the throat and flattened your throat. All right. You're like, I didn't mean to.

All right. Gandalf flow, rodin. Okay. Best fruit. Mangoes. I love mangoes. I like me a mango. You cut a mango and you like squeeze a line.

I'm on it, dude. That shit's sincerely like candy. It's unbelievable. I've never done it before. Worth it. Some grapes are good too. Blueberry, solid, strawberry solid. Apples as well. I would settle. I mean, I'm just, uh, these specific oranges that don't really exist anymore here. They're called Valencia. Hmm.

They're the best fucking oranges ever. And they're just, they just, for whatever reason, they don't, they don't grow them here anymore. I forgot what some clownish fuckery. Something happened. But now all they have is naval oranges over here. and they're not nearly as good. The oranges aren't that good. Yeah, they're kind of, they're kind of mid to be honest. Yeah. I like oranges.

Or at least I remember liking oranges, but when I lived back home. But the oranges that I get now is just kind of like. They're just trashed. I had oranges literally this morning. They are so pretty good, but they're not as great as used to me. I wish I can get the one, like, so you guys can taste the Valencia ones because it's like, it's like game. I've had them before. I think, you know what I think it is?

It's what the, it's the oranges that they normally use to make orange juice. And so they fucking. and pumped them all. So big orange juice took a little. I mean, literally big orange juice fucked it to where I can't get Valencia oranges. I think that's what it is. That's fucked up.

Fucking big orange. God damn big orange. I love me a mango though. It's hard to argue. I'm going to say something that's probably like a little bit insane or controversial, but yeah. I love me olives, man. They're not fruits, though.

I think they are. They might be. I think they are. I don't know if that's true. They're not, I feel like they're not vegetables. Yeah, they grow on trees, right? They grow on trees, right?

They're very like they might be. So I think they're fruits because. by definition since they grow on trees. Yeah. I feel like it's like a weird technicality but like they are, they're definitely not vegetables. They are absolutely fruits. Yeah.

Yeah. Just like a tomato since they grow on vines. They're, they're, also they have seeds. That's how you do. Yeah, they have pits.

So the seeds, yeah, that's right. Seeds are defined a feature. But that's a feature more than it being on trees. And then I think, I think, uh,

why you define berries again? Berries are something like what a berry actually is. A berry is a small thing. It makes you feel gay. I think that's what it is. If you feel gay eating it, I think it's a berry. Yeah. I gotta say, dude, blueberries, as like a fruit.

As like an ingredient, I think they're great. Like, you put that in something, like a waffle. Oh, blueberry raffles are great. But like a, I would never sit there and eat blueberries like a fucking demon. I've never done that. No. I put on my smoothies. Yeah, they're good.

Yeah, they're good for smoothies and stuff. But like, I don't know. I've never snacked. I love blueberries. I've never snacked. Really like by them. I fucking have blueberries in my house and I eat because it tastes like, almost nothing.

They taste blue, which is crazy to say, because it's obviously dumb and wrong, but they taste, it's obviously dumb and wrong, but like they taste blue. What does blues taste like, sir?

Like blueberries. Does it though? So if you were so, so, so you're saying if you were to give a blind person blueberries, it'd be like, oh,

it tastes like blue. The blueberries, like blueberries. Yes. They would do that. Okay. Like my, it's dumb.

My definition of what the taste blue is blueberries. So it's just synonymous to blueberries. All of it is based on a blue. That was your first, like, my thing would be blue raspberry. Blue raspberry. Blue resries. What I'm saying is, like, if there's a color associated with blue, it would be blue raspberry.

I think it would be blueberries. The blueberries are blue berries. You would assume that. However, I think colloquially, I think culturally, I don't know, like, is this, am I crazy? The blueberry that is just a blueberry. Because a, a blue raspberry tastes like a raspberry that's also blue. Yeah, but a blueberry just tastes like a berry that's also blue. Exactly.

So the blue from the blueberry combines a raspberry making blue raspberries. What? What I'm saying is that... What I'm saying is that culturally speaking. Because blue raspberries aren't real. You know that, right? What? They're not real.

Same thing. That's ridiculous. Same as pink lemonade. They make them with pink lemons. Are you daft? Are you gay? Are you gay? Oh, gosh.

No, no, I feel like if you ask most people, like, what the flavor of... You're not of all this. You're not being talking right now. I'm just listening. You're staying out of it. I'm just listening. Am I, like, I feel like... Blue raspberries aren't real.

No, no, no. I know. I'm joking. But like, when I'm saying... Wait, wait, they're not. I was gung-hawn. I thought I was going to get proven wrong. You know, I...

From my understanding, I thought they were fake, like a, like a candy thing. Like, blue raspberry? Well, like in the same thing is the same vein as pink lemonade, but... Like dads. Look, the amount of time... we've just been flat out wrong on this podcast it doesn't like

it's miraculous it doesn't like it doesn't matter you know we have a pretty good record I just saved my ass and saying like wait they're real to be like to be it would be wrong I don't know look look go go here's kind of take both

they should kill him I think I think what I'm saying is culturally speaking as a as an American populace I think most people would associate like what tastes like blue they would say blue raspberry.

Like that's like, I know what you mean. I agree. I agree. That's dumb and wrong, but I agree. I understand what you're saying totally. Right. Yeah.

It's because when you get a drink and there's blue in it, it's usually not blueberry. It's usually blue raspberry. There's no blue raspberry lemonade. Never mind. Yeah, you're a fucking, well,

yeah, like it's pre-workouts. One of the most popular flavors is blue raspberry. It's generalized like a fucking across-the-board pre-rockout, period. Yeah, it's weird. It's weird. Blue raspberry for some reason, and it's not the best flavor.

But fucking, People taste blood suck. And the best flavors are usually... There's a blue drink that I wish I could feel. Like, it's not really, like, it's not really readily available around here, like, as far as I've seen. Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business?

My one advice to them. Pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind it. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive.

Yeah. Wow. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks.

All right, quick quiz for the hiring manager. out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for, or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. It really is an No-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos,

this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75-sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? this is a job for indeed sponsored jobs. But like there's, I don't know if it's vitamin water or what, it's one of those companies, but they make this like this blue like lavender drink that is so fucking good.

So it's not detergent. It might be detergent. It might be detergent. It's like it's the fabric softener. No, that's what's crazy about it. That's what's crazy about it, dude. It's like it smells like something you shouldn't be drinking. But then you drink it, it's so good.

I don't know what the fuck it is. But it feels like you shouldn't be drinking. I don't want to drink lavender, man. You think that You never had lavender lemonade I don't want that Lavender is fucking is laundry to me That's insane

There's like dish soap That's like citrus like orange It doesn't mean like Well see He wasn't ready for that No no no no no let me give you so So the funny thing is because I'm normally like Dawn I'm normally like Dawn that doesn't taste

That doesn't taste like Wait wait wait We got it we got it over That was not over That was not a slip It's over. Derek is done. Derek just admitted that he was one of the Tidepod people.

He can't eat eggs because he's eating so much fucking soap. That your body survives off soap. You can't. You get your protein from soap now. That's my uncle soap. He eats soap. I get biodegradable fucking edible soap. The idea of Derek coming to my house.

He's in the bathroom for too long. I open a door and he's eating. eating my bar so I'm perched up on your fucking sick yo some soap smells why are you doing it I can't help it yo can we be real yeah some some soap smells delicious African soap

bro African soap bro when I first had when I first used African soap I was like I remember being in the shower thinking like you literally I might eat this he almost got your fork and knife you're like wait wait wait wait wait dude some of it's really good

they smell like the ice creams from the freaking what you call the ice cream trucks do they it's been a while since I've The baradetto man's they said Well no You know what I miss Actually I haven't had it in a long time

I haven't had like Proper soft serve ice cream In like a really like Because all the ice cream that I've had in the last Like probably like 10 years of my life Has been like the stuff you like get at like a shop Where it's like scoops Or like in like a thing

And it's like And I remember just thinking like earlier today I was like oh man I really like I would kill for ice cream right now I would kill for a soft serve I had a I had a Oh! So I actually

Scared me I didn't So I technically ate A scoop of ice cream And why? Yeah so why it was right before I left Because my Well I shouldn't be drinking this

So I put a There's a little bit of energy Added to this cast Why it's green You know, cactus cores Was it actually regular Cactus Cool? So it's a cactus cool

It's madness So the problem is It is extremely acidic Because it was already Citracy Fucking carbonated And then I added The pre-work us

with the caffeine. So it's really, it was like, my acid was like, I was like, you're drinking, you're drinking green fried chicken right now. It was like, it was so acidic. I was like, oh, so I literally got a scoop of ice cream and that's all I had just because, uh, because Korea, it's like milk. Yeah, it's like a meal counterat. I've done that before. 100%. So I usually have like a, like a spoon of ice cream before bed just because like I would do for like naturally like high acid levels or whatever. Totally. Yeah. That helps a lot. I would kill for one of those right now. Yeah. Oh yeah? Oh yeah. Look, it's got caffeine in it. I'm trying to prove to myself I can do this. It's like a personal thing now.

How long has it been? A month. Exactly? One month, yeah. Congratulations. It sucks. I hate myself. I hate myself.

I want to kill myself. I don't want to be like. I don't want to be life. I hate my life. I'm going to be caught in pain. I don't want to be like. Dude. I saw this stupid.

You know the content aware scale? Yeah. Yeah. There's one of a boogie like content aware of so he's like small and shivering. And he's doing it like, I've been paying. I've been paying. I want to die. I want to die.

And it's like the caption is like the gnome that I trapped in my tessoract for 10 millennia. That is so fucking stupid. It is stupid, but like, it's like, first of all, content aware, plus that, like, that, that, that, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, there's something about, it's so dumb, it's jingling keys in front of a baby stupid, but it makes me laugh every time I see it.

The shivering outlines. It just works. It just works. It just is It is funny That would make Jesus laugh Yeah Why he was crucified

Yeah Yeah yeah On the cross He was hilarious He'd giggle a little bit And then blood would squirt out His little fucking abdomen wound Oh man

But yeah I don't know man I love Of all the fruits that I love I think for some reason And to be fair This is largely tainted By the fact that like

A lot of fruits I'm like weirdly Alergic to Like at least like subtly Uh At least you're not allergic to eggs, bro. Yeah, I mean, if I had to choose, I guess I would choose every most fruits over eggs, because eggs are just like pretty... They're like the one of the easiest forms of protein, dude. Like, literally so mad. Eggs are probably the only reason I'm even remotely healthy.

I get, I get so mad. Every time Jojo, like, puts eggs in the basket, I'm just like, dumb bitch. Yeah. You see, you know, you fucking, you just lapping up eggs every morning. Raw eggs just like, I went back into a straw. So what do you have in place of eggs? Nothing. So I bought, like, these. For a while, we had, we had, we had, we had this, this is like really crushing it.

I should eat eggs like every day. That's the thing. So like, and then like, uh, went back to my house. Who doesn't? Like I eat like I eat eggs literally every morning. People who eat breakfast typically have eggs. I eat like eggs and fruit and like some sort of like turkey bacon every morning. I could not imagine not eating eggs.

Yeah. Well, yeah. Exactly. It's, it's weird. I'm hoping one day my body just shifts. And then it's, it's just like I didn't use to have. have fucking seasonal allergies. I didn't either.

When I lived in a place of way more allergens. Because I lived back east, I had no allergies at all. I didn't have allergies until I moved up state. And then I moved out here and I have allergies. And I'm like,

what the fuck? I had allergies when we moved upstate. And in Yonkers, I had like very, very little of any. Like, I don't even think we knew that I had allergies until we moved up state.

And then I remember mowing the lawn and almost fucking dying. I was like, why am I so sick? What is going on? Yeah. I had it. my first, I like real allergy attack maybe like in 2019

and I thought I was gonna die. I never felt that bad in my life. I kept sneezing snows come out of my fucking face. There was not coming out of my eyes. I was like, what the fuck it was fucking if I saw snoburn on your eyes, I would kill you I think. I would be like, oh, there's some evil dead shit going on. I would I would pray like I'm a zombie

and I'd be like, oh, not what I'd want somebody is. You would regret that. You would have a fucking shot. I could try to kill it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. hopefully or I got to find a better solution because the vegan egg thing

that I had before it was like an alternative solution first of all one of the best things about the egg is the smell of it yeah literally when you open it it smells like I was like

oh it was this vomit oh they so vomit flavor like what the fuck is this so the consistency look like a scrambled egg fair enough why the fuck would you not chemically make it smell like an egg

you're already going through so much to process the fuck out of wherever that is yeah Make it smell good too, bitch. It just smells like racism. It's just like it smells so poor. Yeah, you just know it's like that's racism.

That's vile. I'll keep searching because I just got sad and I'm like, ah, fuck this. I can't eat it. Don't be sad. I got to find another one. I just got to find another thing. Yeah.

You know what you do? Whole grain that, what's the name of that whole grain bread? That protein filled home green bread. Where you don't even know. He doesn't even know. He's offering a solution. Dave's bread.

I know what you're talking about that bread. It's fucking expensive. but I don't know you're talking about it. It's very expensive. Yeah. But it is good. I have my sandwiches with it. Yeah. I just, man, whatever. I'm sure, look, at this point, now that I said something, somebody will probably turn me onto something that I just didn't know about. Just eat olives instead.

I'm just going to mash them and have like a nice mashed olives. Over like a, so I can have my because I like a nice, I would have a, to make like a sandwich, to make like an bacon egg sandwich or whatever the fuck, I would have my egg over hard. Yeah. I would just crack. it let it get nice and like kind of solid enough to I can slap it on a sandwich

yeah dude I have to have scrambled I can't eat fucking anything with yoke moving but yoke moves I can't do it no I said over hard like it oh you flip it both sides yeah my my shit ain't fucking I don't do that white people shit though yeah it's not it's not a fan of it but you know how do you eggs what do you scramble you scramble I know you scramble I'm not gonna put effort into this this is already like such

mine's even less effort because I just crack at it and then I just let it get hard oh I put seasoning on it though yeah I mean I like I I guess I mean I guess I mean like I'm not making like a crazy omelter yeah yeah omelets go fucking hard though

I like an omelet but like I would never prepare myself an omelet I used to do omelets because just because it wasn't that so if you just had like especially if you had a skillet that was specifically for eggs or omit or whatever

would be a different story you do that and then you just put your meat and cheese or whatever on one side and you just and then it was the easiest like birth of a matter omel I thought I thought God was real I thought I was like, this is insane.

I really made this. And it's like, it's the same thing you make normal is that it's all in one thing. Guys, what is the, what do you call this thing? The phrase,

the saying, you got to break a few eggs to make an omelet. What does that mean? It means, to get something done, you have to have to bash some heads. That's not what that means.

I think the, the idea is that you have to do, this is really overcomplicating a very simple phrase. Right. But I think the idea is that you got to, you got a, you got to,

struggle and break and make a mess. You have to make a mess to like make something worth. Is that what that meant like say like, oh, you're going to broadly like does it like, oh, is it is it assuming that you're going to fuck up making omelets? Because to me it was like like, or did they mean like action up? You got to fuck something up to make something work. Yeah. Because you're fucking the eggs up. You're breaking, you know, I think, I think it's like, it's a very like loose analogy.

I don't think it's like necessarily particularly great. Okay. I've never, I've never looked it up and I'm like, I'm, am I? I feel like I know. it means, but I'm also not sure. You got to bring a couple of olives. It was kind of the same thing as like, oh, Rome wasn't built in a day. I'm like, who fuck says that?

Yes, it was. Well, first of all, yes, it was. I'm like, it's such a weird analogy or whatever in the way that, yeah, it was, it took forever. So are you trying to tell me that like, whatever I'm going to do is going to take forever? No, it's going to take time. I know, and I obviously. It's just like, I just feel like it's such a over like,

calculation of like Rome wasn't built in the day yeah well also it's fucking fake because it was and we have proof of that yeah I actually it was built in five minutes when that's an authentic let's read these fucking

I want to leave now you know what fuck everybody here I'm gonna fucking blow up look at this bomb I got I just got this green glowing fucking I found it in a spaceship all right right let's get out of here

glowing already I'm like Oh, fuck, I'm dead. You got plutonium, bro? Why do you have plutonium? If that shit's glowing, I'm like, I'll be dead in like probably five minutes. Plutonium. Because, like, you'll see, like, regular plutonium and it'll look unassuming. But, like, imagine seeing it, like, glowing.

Like, it's already fucking up your fucking valence electronics electronics. I literally think you'll be dead, like, before the hours up. That's so sad. What? You're like, you just look at this little fucking metal ball. You're like, I got. three weeks to live. I love those videos.

When they fuck up and they're like, no, because there's videos of people like going through, like, they'll be like in a facility or whatever. They're like breaking into asylum or whatever. Like they break into like a, you know,

some building, some storage facility. And they'll pick up these like, whoa, look at these rods. What are these? And it's like, you're dead.

You don't even realize that you're a dead person right now because you're picking up. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast, Smart Talks with IBM.

I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna, and I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service, 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers

who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive, so we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology. is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things.

To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for indeed sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for. Or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs.

It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status. it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now.

Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. Pure uranium rods. It's like, wee. What if they don't die? Oh, what happens to them?

Nothing. You know what reminds me of them? It reminds me of those pictures or those videos of people like on the beach or whatever and they're like whoa look at this fucking fish or jellyfish or whatever it's like you just did it you just did it you just you're gone unless you can get to a hospital in 10 minutes

you're gone I want to the bad look at the video they're not aware of it yet so they're like look at this fucking I found this yellow spotted fish wow ah the bluffish stung me a little bit wow look at that it's like good bad ending goodbye roll credits on this person it's funny they're like doing like the fucking nuclear test

right and then someone moves the top much and they're like everybody looks at each other and they're like do you think don't stay by your family do you think when when the Trinobal thing happened because it was so like it was so mundane like what actually happened? It was propaganda crazy

no but what I'm saying is like yeah like it didn't explode and there wasn't like this fucking crazy like well from them it was like everything's fine it's like my dad's melting no but what I'm saying is like do you think that there was like in that group of people and they were just like sitting in like a observation deck or whatever and they saw the thing go wrong and then just somebody was there just like

and just accepted right yeah i think that's they because they know that they're like imbued now yeah what like this second i thought i become spider man or i'm gonna fucking shit my head out you know there is no other way to react that is the way because you're like oh i'm done you just kind of have to hope that like maybe you're i felt that way one time when i uh i i was maxing out on bench and i i missed like i like you missed the hook you missed the hook Essentially, it was going to, you know, smash my head open. And the feeling was acceptance. I was like, oh, it was like in that moment, I was like, oh, I'm done.

My spotter was not paying attention at first, my boy Nick. And then he looked at me, he got grabbed it real fast. But I was like, oh, man, I probably was going to crack my head open. How much were you throwing up? 7,000 pounds? It was definitely like, it was probably like 240, something. Like, I don't know, something like that. Just throwing up 240s.

Stupidly something like that were and then you're trying to go PR I'm guessing it was I was trying Was maxing it was definitely yeah it was new people just I was being dicks I saw some girl like fucking like deadlifting right and she was just doing it I'm like When you when someone deadless right like I've been I've been working out again and you can tell when someone goes down For what you call it what it's um L L what is it RDL somebody goes down for Romanian deadlift right If you're shaking on your way down just to lower it something bad's going to happen very likely. So she went down and went up and you could audibly hear a crack. And I was like, that bitch can't walk no more.

What's you do? She went down for the crack and she yanked up. And when you yanked it's supposed to come up from your hips, right? It's supposed to be like you thrust your hips forward. That's not true at all. No, actually, don't listen. Guys at home, do not listen to Chris for this. If you're lifting weights like that, what you're supposed to do is you're supposed to use only your back.

You're supposed to kick up. You're supposed to kick up as fast as you can. Because otherwise you're not really getting stronger. In a twitching jerking motion. And it's like, yeah, you have to jolt up. You got to yell, oh, omelander. Oh, omelanda. I'm in, I mean, I'm up here.

I mean, I'm up there. It'll give me straight. Bro, with that shaking shit, if you ever see anyone, anyone, if you ever lifting weights and you're shaking like that, up way smaller weights. That means your fucking muscles suck. You're not, you're just not where you need to be yet. And there's nothing wrong with that.

That's the biggest thing ever. No. Starting light is fine because you start light to grow heavier. That's the thing, right? Doc. It's crazy right now. If you're shaking, you're exercising more because you're moving your body more and you're getting more out of your workout. I mean, you're right in a technicality, but also stop.

I'm not wrong. You're somebody killed. You got somebody fucking throw a kettleball on the air and land on the head. They're going to fucking turn it to fucking rain man. I didn't say anything like that. I'm just giving advice. They're going to be rainier without the cool part. Yeah, the problem is people, people, the problem is people always, they'll have like a couple of muscle groups that are really strong and then they forget about other things.

Say for example, like if you're doing something like, you're doing like lat pull downs or something. At a certain point, your back is going to engage and your back's not nearly as strong to say your biceps. And so your biceps will start off doing it. Then when you start getting to this point, you can sometimes, it may be injure your bat because you're trying to have it carry the load or when you're going up or something. so you might get some shakiness because your backs can't compensate You know like it's one of the things Supposed to shake people's shoulders dude Like like people in general have very weak fucking shoulders

No they barely work them out because like even in high school That was never a focused group Never yeah no never Yeah It's just like your ass Alright let's read the fucking name Okay Let's get the fuck out of here

Give me give me this let me start it You want started? I wish we did a ass workouts In high school Fucking? You have like a No, like actually my have my ass like toned as fuck like way way stronger than my fucking Triceps you know what I mean? Yo the thing is that no one ever we were not in school. You're not taught about how like important your pelvic wall is.

Yeah. And you just in the public wall your pelvic line public wall sounds like a fucking that's all your pussy. Yeah, sounds like some pussy shit. It's like back in a pussy. Uh, Kingston curb stopping a baby like link from boots. On link from boot. I don't link from what?

Are you reading it wrong? Probably. Oh my God. Kingston curb stomping a baby with Link's iron boots. Oh, there we go. You read iron as from? Yeah. You got to get glasses.

I'm having my fucking test in a week, okay? Okay. So unfortunate. I don't want to go. They're going to be like, yo, dude. Your automatres is going to fucking scream. You're blind. You're actually blind.

You use echolocation. You're amazing. Mark my, Mark. No, I don't. I want to say this now I want to say this now because I wanted to be noted When you get glasses

You're going or when even if you have contacts for a day You just put them on You're going to come on this show And you're going to be like What the fuck was I doing? Yeah I know it You're probably like a minus four or something

You're probably fuck Minus four You're gonna be crying like I remember Logan Hall Logan Paul did that fucking With that body right I could see colors now With the body right

No no He was like colorblind. And then there were these special glasses that can help you see color. And he's like, he was crying about it. He looked like that old guy crying. And I think like Doctor Who or something. There's that gift that goes around all the time.

That old guy crying. He's like, From Dr. When? I think it's from doctor. What? I've never seen an old person. When?

Yeah, when? Not who when? What the fuck up? God. Shut up. Oh my God. I can't believe that. I can't believe what just happened.

Read the fucking names. I love it. I thought you meant like Vietnamese. Like when? Like, Nguyen. No, like, when? That's what I thought you were doing.

Like, Dr. Wynn, I'm like, what the hell is that? Oh, this guy's making the stupidest joke on earth. I've been on my bullshit today, dude. I fucking love it. If you said Dr. Y would have got it faster. I thought when. Who win? Wait, Master has given Dobby a prostate exam.

Dobby is free. Dolly is free. Fleebus. Mxtinct. cremate me put me in a douche bottle Higher hooker then run me through one more time Beast Mr. Killing Logan Paul And a suicide Savannah

Let's go The Silver Spencer one way The Silver Spencer wonders why everyone's a petto Universal Remote that's weird Deep Needs for its dinosaur chicken nuggets No Kanye don't say that the Jews aren't gays Vaughan of the dead Papa Roach comes inside of my penis

Give me your biggest load testicular information. Don't give a fuck if my penis burst, I'm coming. Is that supposed to be a... Yeah, I read it, but it's, that's what it does. Cut my ass. Cut my ass in sweet.

Shove five dicks into penis. Shove five dicks in my penis. Give me your biggest load. Testicular inflation. Don't give a fuck if my balls burst. I'm coming. But then, nah, nann. Gently use anal beads.

That's actually a little more difficult to play than I ever thought it would. Round-eyed Asian, rich rich chicka, lesser-known cousin, poor Oriental, Poriental. Rich Chigua's less-known cousin, Poriental. Oh, my God. That is crazy. Using Oriental in the modern world day is wild. Kid Cuddy's hit song, gay and white.

Fallick Ball, Ball, Sweet, Eddie Come. Gay and white. and Komoto Carlton's alter ego in the phallic verse waves a gun in the final scene of fresh peanuts of balls hair. Who told, wait, which call it? Who the hell? Who the hell would Ms. Trump's fat head like that? They're mechanically fucking Alex Jones. Goku walking up to you holding a gun and saying,

I need to do me a favor. The second coming of Miguel O'Harris transfan pussy. Rotating Miguel O'Harris transfan pussy in my mind like a rotor. throw sistery chicken to flex on people who can't visualize on a fuck visualize a fucking app what that means sweet bonking lily gum gum gum sum zooka that's it's really like that i be drawn that bitch uh death a shadow of the epstein tree jacked twice mayori uh 9-11 cosplay jumping off the world trade center to quote, what's called it, complete the way to, quote, compete the look.

That's crazy. Meaty, uh, big meaty stinks. My dick is so big I can't tie it into a knot. It's what you call it? After tie the knuck and still suck it. Jesus Christ. Damn. Jesus Christ.

Andy, a man whose handies are eight tier. Now eight tier, but not. That's dandy. Sorry about that. The entire Red Day Redemption two gang doing a human centipy. That's crazy. Sweenie. into a rage because he saw

Kendrick Lamar with blue arms Heath Smoker unwavering heterosexuality versus the itching an itching hemorrhoid Gids Arthur Arthur

Arthur I need you to blow me Arthur I need you to keep eating my shit Cory and Hamas to the rhino pill took a rhino pill and then molested a Wendigo fuck dude

damn Hello hello I'm Malcolm Gladwell host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.

It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature.

Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there.

What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both. are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for. Or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results.

When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75-sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves. At Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply.

Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. Poor dude. Boy, there's our consequence for sales. being the N word. Boy, there's consequences for being an N word.

Why? How do you know? Today episode is sponsored by Stormfront. Kevin Durant's feet, Iron Maiden Trooper. You fuck my ass, but I'll fuck yours too. I'll suck you off till your face is blue.

Mr. Pants. Make a gay version of not like us. I like men's butts. I think it'll be a good one. Sound bad. Ball of the first sins. getting into giddy

Giddy Cardboard pie Spamba Futters Lord please don't let this silly little black man read the name somewhere he's fucking up every time You suck my dick nigga fuck you Oh right that's how I saw

Jolly old dipshit Dejimon Chlorforman Monster Dejimon the rapist Jesus Christ I forgot that we did that What was that? Dejima chloroforman monster

Dejimon is the Rebest Dejeman That's awesome. Dejimon is awesome. He's a moron for not doing that. Chloriform monsters. Yeah, he don't think.

He's also a rapist. They're dumb. Change into digital rapist to rape the digital world. Rape. I was going to say girls. He'd be fucking e-girls. That's crazy, bro.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I wouldn't. Welcome, though. I mean, hey, facts. I like cheating. Oh, hi, y'all. Shout out to the cheaters out there. Shout out to the people that'll be doing bad shit and then don't get consequences.

Shout out to your own. Shout out. A ciphergraph. Fag maxing. Jesus Christ. Your turn, Derek. Oh, that what a way to end it. Fag maxing.

Whoa. That's the hop. Maxing. Damn. Jady Vance. Why is he? Dude, I look at this. You're not going to tell me this dude ain't in the couches

Well, he's fucking like spreading eagle like that He's spreading, look man, he likes There's nothing to say that he doesn't fuck couches Yeah, he's not beating the allegations Do you like that? Do you like a Sponge Robert? That is Sponge Robert Gagga, I am Sponge Robert Dahaha

Beopo Boop Boop Boop Boopoo Ree he. Um, oh, you, this is the new page? Yeah, okay, yeah, here we go. Did you buy that helicopter cap yet? What the hell is that? What's that reference? Oh, the helicopter hat.

The Dutz kid. Oh, shit. I want to get one. If I buy three, when you guys wear them? Of course. Of course I would. It's literally,

it's the same thing about just not pulling the trigger. Like, how much these fucking costs? I mean, hopefully if you can get a, like a bundle deal. And they'll, they'll show up at a four in the morning.

I was like, you ever do you do the $25 limit and that you can get it like four to eight, eight a. A.m.? Really? Yeah. A lot of times,

I just bought something, uh, because we need a new, laundry basket so I bought it this morning. It'll be here like between 5 and 10 p.m. That's crazy. Yeah, it's it's kind of insane. They're working these people to death and I love it. You know, because I'm like, it makes my day better. It makes me where I'm like, I don't have to go to the store so fast. I can just, uh, see here. Here we go. Uh, boogie getting liar engraved on his face with cum rock hard.

Hunter blah, Trump growing back an elf ear. That's right. He Yeah, those go hard. Those come with, are those fucking bow ties? Dude, I will rock a button up to wear my bowtie. Okay, let me keep going. Go hard, getting bussy with it. But I got such a gay heart. I'll make a woman fucker wonder if he wit it.

Also, I remember, and it cuts off. Sorry, nigger. Oh, wait, here we go. Oh, also I wonder. I remember Tarzan. Jesus Christ. Okay. I want to know.

Can you blow me? I want to know where my anus still bleeds. I want his throat. Please fuck my ass. Will you hold me? Pity for a boogie, but he sucks. No pity. Lily's asparagus, binging piss trigger.

Smitchie the kid. The MT forcibly administering estrogen to old men. Facts happens all the time. Help me, I'm stuck in a wall Yeah, I don't know if that's true I just saying that. Niga got a hard scope Hit Marker on Trump

RFK's RFK Jr's dead abandoned bear cub Yeah, that was a fucking wild story You didn't hear what he did? He killed the bear cub? So, yes, and kill the bear

And then he was gonna like I was gonna take it home And eat bear meat, whatever But I had to make it to a steak dinner So I thought it would be funny If I left the bear in Central Park And there actually is a

News thing that happened Where people were confused Why is there a dead bear carcass With some like fucking Bike that like that's like kind of stripped Like people are like What the fuck is this? What is this crime?

And he admitted that it was him Because he thought it would be a whole Yeah His excuse was that he was with a bunch of people Who were drinking? He was going to skin the bear and eat it The idea that he found a So he found a roadkill bear

Like driving down from I guess like upstate to the city and he was like his first thought was I'm gonna skin this and eat this which is an insane thing already it's insane Roadkill

that your first thought of like oh roadkill I'm an affluent fucking person yeah I'll skin this and eat this so he put it in his trunk he went down to the city

and then he had to go to take a he had to go on a plane or something he was like oh fuck I don't have time to do it so he just he was with a bunch of people who were drinking

and they were like Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to that, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10.

10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. Wow. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change.

needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for indeed sponsored jobs.

You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for. Or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. Listeners of this show will get a $75-sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.

He was like I'm going to dump it in Central Park and stage it to look like an accident because this has been in the news. And everybody was like, that's a great idea. Stupid. And like, he's like, I did it. That's a weird fucking thing to do. Like, everything about it is weird. And first of all, it is, of course, it's weird. And it's like, why would you would, if you are, uh, if you're trying to run for president, he's like, why would you say that? We are such a joke of a function.

Yes, we are. Yes, we are. It's, it's, it's, it's, hey, man, it looks like we're trying to recover, but again, Tim. You were so cool ones. Waltz is going to, he's, there's going to be like 50. skulls in his basement or something. I really hope, I'm hoping that everything's fine.

If he killed pedophiles, would you be like, all right, that's cool, yes? I'd be totally fine with that. Because, like,

at this point, like, I'll, I'll accept a lot of shit. If he's killing people, if he's being a vigilante and he's only killing bad people, and maybe it's fucked up,

but at the same time, look, I'm just going to assume, I'm going to be playing ignorant and assume that they were all bad. You know, like, it just,

I'm sure some of them were innocent, but I'm not going to think twice about it. What is this fucking visage You're doing She pipkin on my pippa Coming in the name of Gay Beegies like Gaping a guy

Gaping a guy Ah Ah Gaping a guy Gaping a guy I just thought the Beeges were gay I knew they were No way I'm hanging out

With a couple of gooners Asimar But it's just you three Making your most disgusting Wet Mouth noises You'd like that, wouldn't you? You fucking freak. You're a faky freak.

You like men sexually. What if you would like, you would like that if it was, uh, if it was Dutch, huh? You'd like, you like me, but you like ASMR author? Or you'd like the auditory sound of my lips smacking. Dutch, you're killing my boner. Stop. Who do you mean? Or, girl.

Stop. Good. Shout out if you, if you're still listening. at this point. I've been Fogel maxing recently. No! What does that mean? What does that mean, sir?

Thank you for your money, but bro. Don't thank him. He's a Fogel Maxer. If you go to prison at some point, please don't cancel your subscription. Yeah, don't turn that shit off. It's keep in charge. Don't be a fucking coward.

Alfred versus 12 horny muscular black men. No consent. Jesus Christ. Which game is this? Is this? MK 11 because they can do that Or MK1

You put Alfred in it How come I've never put Alfred in a fucking I'm gonna have a gun Dude it would be so sick as fuck The fucking Alfred Pennyworth Just fucking all those people up And he's he they would have to be way OPE though

You know they have to make a gun Alfred has a gun and a fucking really Really really really really really good tray His gun like one shots everyone Because it's a real gun He shoots one in the face and he dies God damn It's the whole crew.

Is that? It's the whole crew. Who's the... Check them out. Who's the... The mouse and the thing. What is that? What do you mean?

That's sand. Is that sandy? That's sand. Sand? That's sand. It's a squib. Pat and sand. And sand.

I like that. Sand's pretty cool. I don't like the gaunt Patrick. You don't like Gaunt Patrick? I don't like Gaunt Patrick. I don't like gone to sleep. Sorry. Yeah.

I fall asleep to inward compilations. I shall speed join the IRA Snobank's starring M&M, Oby Trice and Bizarre. Jesus Christ That'd be, uh, why not? Why not? Why not?

Transfim Gremlin. Ush. Craig, the Canadian, Aquatine Hunger Force has the greatest opening to exist. It's pretty good. My name is Sheikh Zula,

the Mike ruler, old schooler. Let's see. You want to drink, I'll bring it to you. There we go. Ah! Frylock getting cum,

It's your boy Mad big cock Sucking dick fucking pussy And sucking dick now Me and we get the money see Me and we get the honey see Driving in my car Calling people Enward

What the fuck up Come on let's go It's your boy Shawnee D Current presidential candidate And the alleged black woman Come on a hair ass Okay

Oh I get it come on a hair ass I get it. It's cute. I thought she was Indian. I thought she was a filthy curry. I'm just going to stop there. I thought it was fucking Korean. I thought she was fucking Korean. I thought she was a fucking dog.

She was black yesterday. She's Korean today. I don't fucking get it. Every time there's always a fucking excuse with those people. I just know wherever she's from or food stinks. I hate women because their vaginas are so open and it's so gay and so gross. I hate it. Every time I fuck a girl, I cry afterwards.

I cry because I'm like. I'm not big on fish, personal. They don't even stick soap up there. It's crazy. How is it even clean? I don't understand. I stick a jar. I stick a bar of soap way up my asshole to make sure it smells really good.

I dig it in my own fist. I dislocate my arm to fucking fist my own athlete. It hurts so much, but it's so worth it because my ass is so clean. I twirl my finger around my prostrate like a nervous girl with her own hair. And I say, ew. He does that when he's nervous. You can see it like an interview. He shoves his hand up and twirls his.

own prostate. Next question. Next question, please. I'll say, does that dance, it's assuming he does prostate. Oh, my God. They have the dick jerk. I'm a...

Because of Robert Kennedy was born that way, and as a baby, he would cry with that voice. Oh. Oh, la la la la la la. Yeah. Yeah, but whatever. I think he just got throated.

Tor is fucking He got face fuck so much He got brain Is that what happened He got throw cancer? I think he had some sort of cancer Or something like that I want to either that or like

Shack fucked him It was something like that Like Shaq just blew Hey hey Hey Robert Fcanyer Your brother was a really cool guy Look over there Turned around his fucking cockies

bro Look over there It's the fucking Dexter meme It's the fucking Dexter Meme It's a coo tiqu Tuckoo Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's just crazy. I love that fucking, God, that show. That shit is crazy. I love, yeah, that shows. I don't know how to see that coming. I'm Beast Mister, in today's video, game, oh, sorry, in today's, I'm Beast Mister, and in today's video,

I'm giving 20 random animals, opiate addictions. I like that. That's awesome. 3XO. Listen to Sween, using the power of the N-Word to kill the Glendale Grandma. Episode 21.

The Glendale Grandma. I don't remember that. I don't know. I probably did it. Yeah. I'm sure. Jake. How is Jake Elts?

I don't know. I don't know how to say that name either. I don't know. It's a fat, stupid retard. I'm Jake else or whatever. A bunch of papa, blah, is this person's name?

What the fuck? That's crazy. Slurper, stroking, smoking joking. The Motocon going like this. Drip and mates, Lord of Homeless drip. The J.D. and J.D. Vand stands for jerking. How do you say that? De penis?

Jerkin de penis? Jerkin de penis Do you fucking imagine? My name's jerkin. My name's jerkin, jerkin de penis. Jirken a penis, Vance? No relation. No relation.

No man is a jerkin of penis first. But did you know the men I blow my ass becomes wide and the gerbil inside can't be seen? Open, what you blow me? Kremlin to Grimlin, that rotten old Jimmy Dick. Evil Sween says, I love the gaze. Arabs saying the N-word

still baffles me as an Arab, not in the U.S. I guess is what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, why not? There could only be one queer left. Osama bin Laden saying the N words. It's fucking hilarious. Hey, how was going on, my niggas?

Where's the next building? That was one of his tapes. I'm sure on there is that. There's got to be some crazy tapes of Osama bin Laden doing some wacky fucking wakadoo shit. There's probably like him doing a let's play. I honestly, him do karaokeing to Blake Gaga. Welcome back to Animal Crossing.

New Leaf. I wouldn't be surprised at this point. You're fucking incredible. Gay inside me. Gethsameen by... How do you say that? Getsamine? Yeah, by Rising?

By Rise against? Yeah. I've never even heard that word. Gethsameen? Yeah. What does that mean? I don't know. I knew at some point.

Get... Whatever. I knew when I was covering him. Derek and Kingston, it's time to do an extra ammo review of House of the Dragon season two and also, Chris, you are gay. Okay, thanks, man. I did finish house. Thanks a lot. I did finish it. I did finish it. I kind of, I was watching it while I was playing

cyberpunk. So season two was really, really, really good until the ending. It was just kind of like, oh, well, all right. The episode before should have been the ending. That would have been a better end. It would have been a better. It would have been a lot better because I was like, I felt like, oh, that. It's a trailer. Yeah, it was an hour long trailer, but it was still an amazing season though, but like it was an hour long trailer. The little part that was left in what I was watching where I thought like something was going to happen. it was just the explanation of the episode

when they interviewed all the people. I was like, oh, it's just, because I thought there was like this much left in my little thing in the player and I was like, oh, no, something's gonna happen and then it just ends. But I should have known though because that epic score at the end,

that was a good fucking song. Of course. That show, I was like, that guy's fire, dude. Give that man money, dude. Give that man a lot of money. He needs to be working more. Oh, it's, it's, uh,

gets to me in the place where Christians believe Jesus was betrayed by Judas. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, fucking A. Wow Oh shit What was I

It was supposed to be a fucking Space Wizard Came in Tell somebody's gonna betray him Wow Okay Waitslave 583 Pippini Bros game

Presents He betrayed him Because his name is Judas Yeah Judas It's always sunny Too New media

Of the night Man Donk don't Donkerson Fitzsitter Listen to Hit my spot By your pretty

Handsdown One of the Best Original Gay songs I've ever heard No

You gotta pay The Trolls To get To get to the Boys' Hold last page All right final No

I sound like Bobby Bouchet Bobby Um in the water boy Little Bobby Boucher No And then No

Do you remember that The water boy You'd make that retarded noise Like the player tackle people I've never I've never actually seen that movie And he turned into a car Yeah

You know why I never saw that movie Why? Because like I thought that name like I didn't like the water what's so interesting like I couldn't sounds so boring

I love that movie but also I also love football too so yeah that was also so the cover was like football stuff Gade 6 I was considering learning guitar but then I saw John Gomm perform passion flower

so I think I'll kill myself and suck dick PeeP watching Swin watch watching Sween watch porn during the credits of two episode 252 timestamp

two hours 33 10 was the highlight of my day. So somebody, somebody, somebody tagged us and because that episode's not out, I guess. It's, it's for, it's in the patrons. Oh, right, right, right. So now I'm like, oh, God, I'm like, I'm going to have to like do the cut magic if that's true.

Did I open my phone to his porn or something on my phone? Somebody, because somebody said, somebody tagged us on, in the, in the, the Twitter and they said, check this timestamp. I went to our YouTube channel, but I realized, oh, I have to go into the creator studio because it's not out. It's only out for patrons. Please do that.

we don't get in fucking trouble for it. If that's true, yeah. I think I might have. I don't remember. I literally know if you watch porn during our show. I might, I might have looked through and saw something and like move through. It might have been like Twitter.

It might have been Twitter. Yeah. It might have been Twitter. That's funny as fuck. But I don't know. But yeah. Or I might have opened my fucking phone and it was porn on my phone from previous time you watch porn.

Yeah, it's still, it's still not out. So that's it. That's one. Yeah, 252. Yeah. So was the timestamp? Time 10. Is 2.33.

10. Was I logging? Look at it? I have no clue because I haven't seen it yet. I hope it's like super. I like how people are like autistically really focusing in on it. Hello, hello.

I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum,

or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things

that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Kondo? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.

That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question,

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Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. Can you see? Is it really? That's fucking hilarious, dude. What do you see? Is that bitch bending over? Let me see.

Is it Twitter or is it like actual porn site? It's Twitter, of course. It looks like, you can't even tell what the fuck that is. Yeah, that's not really that bad. Let me see. Let me slow it down. Let me really get in on this. Like you've seen skin, but I can't, like, you can't.

It looks like an ass, I think, right? You're holding on there for a while. This is pretty slow. I wasn't really been enjoying this image. Shout out to me, man. It might have been a good ass. Must have been a good ass. I mean, from here, it looks pretty.

It looks pretty. It looks pretty bullshus. I'm going to get, yo, that much. my girlfriend's so bad for this. I'm gonna clip this and send it. And send it. Of course, make my fucking day better. That is awesome.

See, I felt, how much did you magnify into me? Was it like, what was I doing? I want to... You were scrolling through Twitter and then you clicked on the profile. Yeah, but what was the kinds of why the thing was on me in the first place? What happened? What do you ask you for? Like, why would it be looking at my phone?

Because it was at the end of the credits, what did you mean? The end of the credits, uh, your phone was just on your phone moments ago. Like, your phone is in the... Yeah, but you're just not visible. It's like right here. You can see. I have bad news for you. It's always visible.

Look it. Look it. You're phone to the shot sometimes. It's always visible. Yeah. It's in the shot a little bit. Christ above. Oh.

Well, I mean, I would never think that you would be like actively scrolling. Like, you know, like, if you came across porn on accent on Twitter, I get it. But if you're actively scrolling porn. I wasn't scrolling. That's the thing I was like, I was like. You were there because you clicked it. I wasn't, I wasn't, look, I wasn't actively scrolling only porn, but I saw an ass. And I was like, oh, man.

Nice. Look, I don't. I'm still like human. It's sorry. But like. during the credits, not the smartest thing to do, but also, yeah, of course, if I see a nice ass, I'm going to be like, nice, and then I'll move on. I don't know how much I linger. That's the question of the day.

In the, in the Instagram browse thing, because, like, I'll go to search something. Oh, yeah. And then in the thing, there's, like, something, like, really I'm like, and then I'll go back and do what I'm about to do. Yeah. Because I'll be like, they keep showing me this one. I think she's, like, dressed up as She Hulk or something, because she's all green. And I keep liking it. And it keeps showing it to me.

No, it's never not a lot. I'm pulling up right now, I swear it's probably there. That's so fucking funny. I'm like, show me something new. If it's super visible, cut it, I ask. But if it's not, then whatever. It's not very, I mean, I will, I will clip it. But the snarkaverse has a new favorite football player.

Number 47, tight end for the bears, Tommy Sweeney. Is that real? I guess. Halo, but it's me coming into an electrical socket. It's not Halo at all. That's just you coming into the electrical song. Me, be fishy. She limp on my biscuit to like nookie.

Jesus. I'll carp around the Gaza Strip for a quarter. John Strickland. Jackpot, bro. My partner. McKinsey Derned, we were talking about earlier. Yeah,

like they're just... I like that's always the... That's the universal symbol of just like... Good, good job. Exquisite, in fact. Jackpot. Like they... Put on a fucking monoggle.

Exquisite. Like they see... say in that movie, jackpot, you know? Euphoric. Jackpot. It's like, uh, John Strickland, my partner snapped the cherry legs off by Chris Reagan. He does and proceeded to Sarah my legs off his self-defense. Merck's 1889.

Tongue punching her fart box until I can spell whore on the back of her teeth. That's crazy. Oh my God. Hey, what the fuck? The first search of key, David presents. How did your tongue that far up? The visual of that. I ain't got no fucking clue. That's a travel. David presents John Lemon. Imagine. Imagine

Imagine older people having sex but gay. I mean, Lemon Party? That's a dumb. Yeah, Lemon Party. Second Church of Key, David featuring being better than first

to keep David. As a kid, somebody wants squirted on my mother's asses. Blake 8-9-6. Chris trying to read like, the Olympics on Ozempic. It's way too young. Yeah.

And it like, the Osempic Olympics is crazy. What do they do? They just get real thin. They get real gaunt. Injecting until who loses the most or something? Who's the most gaunt? Yeah.

How can someone get while being a human still? Like a d'wager. Droger? Droger. Alaska, Newarkville, Trash, Texas Tad of Salad, Young Sheldon being drawn

and courted. Uh, or quartered. Court. You said courted. It's courted. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

It's quartered. Uh, it's quartered because of the fact they rip you in for us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so crazy. It's a real simple explanation. I didn't realize that the quartering.

That's what his name was a reference to until, like, I thought about it. I was like, because I never paid attention to his name. It's just the quartering. Oh, yeah, I never thought about it. And then I thought about it.

Can I be honest with you? You're saying it now and I'm still not making the connection. All right. I'm agreeing, acknowledging it what the word means, but you're telling me this is not, I'm not learning it. Yeah. I'm not learning what I just thought like what I was like, oh, he must want to be quartered. Yeah, yeah. This is a cry out, the cry for help.

Can you imagining? I don't want to be alive. I don't want to be alive. Can you imagine? I don't want to be alive. I don't want to be alive. I don't want to be alive. everything hurts everything hurts

I pee in the basement everything hurts I had a dream this is real by the way I had a dream where this is months ago I never mentioned it because it's an insane thing to mention but it's like technically relevant now

I had a dream where I was like walking through my house and I turned the TV on and on the TV was the quartering and he was like washing his face but he wash his face too fast and snapped his head off and it was like attached it like a like a nerve ending

and it was just hanging it was like you ever see flies rip their own head off by accident? Ew no I haven't seen that There's a video of a It's why I had that dream I think It's because it was like I was scrolling Twitter And it was the last thing I saw

Before I went to bed It was like a fly ripping its own head off And then like not understanding what to do with it So it was like just cleaning it Oh my God And I had a dream I was like I walked into my living room Turn my TV on

I don't want to see that It's fly so much It's pretty crazy It's pretty wild Because you know how they They clean their face faces like real quick. Yeah.

They do it so fast sometimes and they twist their own heads off. That's, which by the way is great argument for intelligent design. Yeah. Everything's so well designed. It is.

Praise God. Sue Hulk took on my ass hairs. Niggy Jizzy. Let's go. FK.A. Nikki Zicky. Sorry, Miss Jackson, badly brave.

Duck, cunt, aetherian, brogerian punter. Naifram, Melfis one. I busted my hands up last week, but the doctor this was too tempting. And as always running on our list, the king of half hazard. Thank you all.

for your continued support of our show over at patreon.com slash StarTang. Remember, add free early access to every single episode, including extra ammo exclusive to Patreon. So go over there. Keep it sitting so he dies. Yeah, yeah. And that's it. And, um, uh, uh,

all right. If I didn't have those cookies, I would have died, bro. Did you see the video? Yeah, it's really morbid, actually. He has no idea what's going on. Well, it's dead. Well, it's alive for a while.

Because they're not complicated enough to be like just be killed by a beheading. They're not complicated enough. The dire will be mad. You know what it is? I kind of don't want to see it. Look at it. Look at it. It's cruel.

Because it thinks his head is food. So it's trying to eat it. Oh, my God. Okay. Let me see it. God damn it. It's pretty nutty. Seems like it died pretty quickly.

I think it's just twitching at this point. Well, this is pretty deep. do it. Oh. Yeah. Ew. It is wild. I hate flies, by the way. I'm glad they kill. I'm glad they cut their own heads off. That's hyperbolic. I would be so cool of all flies just died at the same time. How about something really bad would happen in consequence? It would. It would. It would.

I think a lot of flesh would be left out. And disease. I think that's what would happen. I think that's what would happen. Because they clean up a lot of disease shit. I hate this idea that like, oh, we get rid of every mosquito and then the world will be thrown into it. No, what? Who fucking cares? thing will happen. I feel like people thrive. That's what happened. If you wipe out a hole of something, something bad happens.

Other than mosquitoes. I think they feed up the things. All of a sudden, our people wouldn't have so much malaria. It would be kind of nice. They're not my people anymore. I'm Caribbean, bro. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

That's a great way. I'm so heavily removed from African people. It's crazy. We just share the same skin color. That's about it. Fair enough. Unfortunately, I respect them. Thank you guys for, you know, being the progeners.

But like, you know, you're like, you're like, you you're like, you're like, man. Sometimes, though. Stop. Oh, my God. Amazon Hub Delivery wants to partner with your business. Help your business. Help your neighbors.

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