The Snark Tank - #259: Intro Contest Review

Episode Date: September 4, 2024

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Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Snark Tank podcast. It's me. It's us again. Remember, go over to pageron.com slash the Snartank or will hurt you. To get these early access to ad free, all that stuff. That's Sweeney over there. Say hi, Sweeney.

Hey. This is Derek. Say hi. Kings, I have to ask you a question. What's up? I watched you struggle to get into this building for like a good five minutes. The code wasn't working for some reason. I must have pressed something incorrectly and then I kept looping and depressing the incorrect thing.

Are you kept, you kept like looping it? I kept looping it. I was like, where did I go wrong? I'll put it in again. Oh, that's too late. I was already one in. Then I did it again. I was like, all right, cool.

This is awesome. Do you know how to reset it? No, is there what to do you set it? So there's two ways to reset it. The easiest one is to leave it alone for like a good like 10 seconds. And then it'll just reset itself. The other one is a lot of times, not for every machine, but a lot of them you just press star. And it's kind of like a reset.

I was like, wow, awesome. I just kept getting it. I was like, all right, bro. I think it might have been because so it's a 911 number. Your number is a 911 number, right? Yeah, yeah. So I guess it kept calling your number technically. Um.

Or trying to interact number. It was like, the person's not there at now. And I was like, all right, whatever, I guess. Then some lady came and I was like,

yeah, because I blocked it because like, I'm just like every time ever, dude, I get, I used to get voice mails. Of people? Of every time some,

anytime anybody would come into the building. Just like your code in, it would get that? Yeah. They would put, they would put the normal code in and it would just go to my phone for some reason. Like every single person. And so I would just get these calls.

I'm like, who the fuck is calling me? me and I got freaked out a little bit because I blocked the number, right? Because I was just like, I'm not dealing with this. I'm not dealing with this right now. And years later, I went into my voicemails. Like recently I did this. I went to my voicemails and I saw all these, because you can see blocked voicemails.

And I had all these voicemails, these like 10 second, 15 second, 30 second voicemails from the same number going back years. And I forgot that I had blocked this number. And I'm like, who the fuck is stalking? me. So I listened to them really intently and I heard like dogs barking

and I'm like where the fuck who is who is that? I psyched myself out whoop whoop I'm up

I'm sicked myself out I know you're there red dude dude I listen to so many of these like I listened to 30 of them

before I found one that was like but how do I get in and then a voice through the last week it was like you gotta hit it's pound

and I was like oh this is the door I keep getting I keep getting these weird text messages from the credit union by warehouse talking about like

I have it with dry have some sort of fraudulent account for like $100,000 and I'm like I never even had that credit union why are they calling me it's not even like it's not even a good one that's yeah that's that's so it's like they're rolling it out to everybody yeah I don't even have that union yeah well they're trying to freak

people out they almost got you because you're even thinking about it yeah they almost got me a lot of there's a word off your rest and I was like I want dumb shit that I do before there's a what my arrest I was like Oh, man. And then I thought about it. And I was like...

Was there cameras? What did I fucking do? Like, oh, man, from 2017, I was really stupid then. What could I have done? I'm like, no, wait. I was in Cali. I wasn't doing anything that dumb yet. And I was like, no.

I just, I wanted to call one of the guys. And then, like, I'm tracking where you're at right now. And I know where you're at. I'm going to fucking eat you. Real quick, when you were struggling with the door, why didn't you contact any of us? I was there for like maybe a minute or two So I was there way too long

It was it was a while I thought we timed it It was like four minutes Did you guys see me? Yeah we were watching you We were just looking at this I was like oh there's kids Because we were just in the living room

We were in the what do you mean We're sitting Oh because it didn't go straight through Yeah we didn't see through the window Yeah we were just watching It was like oh cool he's here Dope And then you just didn't come in

And then you're like, what? I left the room to see, oh, maybe he texted me personally or called me. Because I didn't want to bother. I was like, I'm not going to bother these guys. He didn't want to bother so you could. Do you understand what you? Because I didn't know you guys were. I thought you guys are already doing setting stuff up.

And I was like, I'm not going to bother this. I'm trying to figure this. Oh, okay. Yeah, I guess. And I was like, oh, whatever. It's fine. I guess I'll just have this woman to save my fucking day. I was hoping that she was like.

What did you explain to that lady? I was like, sorry to close. She's like, oh, no, that is. one of the codes. I'm sorry about that. I'll just let you. I was like, thank you. Yeah. That is one of the codes, but like, you were how did you even fuck it up in the first place? I don't know. You know, I must have pressed. I must have pressed. I must have pressed. You do hashtag and then you do four digits. Yeah, I must have pressed the wrong digit at first.

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They bring you home. Realtors are members of the National Association of Realtors, right by you. I guess I kept pressing, like, I thought it was like, three digits in and then I pressing all of them smashing it like if I press all of them

at once it must be the code I go to press one of my finger and I think it's one and I'm pressing all of them my giant finger

and I'm like what's going on? Your finger gets bigger as it gets closer to the buttons you know what I was thinking I was thinking that you were delaying

coming at first probably for the first minute I was thinking oh you're having an argument with Lily and you don't want to obviously you don't want us to hear it.

So you're going to stay out here. He lives with me. He doesn't fucking, he's been, he's heard all of them. Yeah. He's heard all of them. Yeah,

but maybe, maybe you don't, maybe you don't feel that comfortable, uh, around me. I've known you for like fucking seven years, dude, it's fine.

I don't know. I was thinking like, you're my, you're also friends with my girlfriend as well, too. Yeah. No, I don't care. Maybe it was really personal about that.

Lully, I am not getting a penis reduction. I know it hurts. I know it's such a wild thing. Like they ask like, please. You're like, no, absolutely not. No, fuck you.

Be hurt. Dude, a penis reduction is kind of crazy. Is that real? I don't know. I don't know if that's real. It must be, right? Yeah. It must be, but what?

It doesn't seem fucking, I mean, unless it's like freakishly long. Right. Yeah. Well, that's who it would be for. It would be for a guy just top and past seven, you know? Yeah. It would be for a guy. That would be crazy.

Imagine you have a seven incher and you're like, nah, I kind of want like four and a half. Yeah. I want to go down to three at my hardest, you know? It like dipped. It has to be so long that it dips into your shoes sometimes, you know? I saw the world record guy. It was a dude in South America, I think. Either Mexico or South America, I can't remember.

It was a Latin gentleman. And his penis was like 18 inches. That's painful. That's not, that's not having, that's not a having sex penis. Yeah, exactly. It's literally, it's not a half. It literally is cannot get fucking at attention to bang because it's just too. It's, no, there's not enough blood.

You'd probably pass out his time. Yeah, hard and you fall asleep. The most meal, bam. Yeah, but so that's like, so, yeah, that would be, I guess the real question would be, like, if you got a penis reduction, it would really just be like you would, he would get rid of part of it and you would keep part of it. But, like, which, like, which parts do you keep? You would obviously get rid of some part of the stem. Do you get rid of the head? No.

That's the one part you don't get rid of. I want to get rid of all the nerve endings, like, so I don't want to feel anything. Like, dude. I want like, I just want it to be a point of having a penis I essentially wanted to just be like I have a prosthetic dick it's like I have a real dick

but it feels like a prosthetic dick meaning I don't feel it at all so it is so fucking roundabout insane it's amazing because then all of a sudden kind of like so if you get rid of all the nerve endings in your penis you get rid of your testicles will you it's a Kendall

it's a Kendall with a dick will the desire to being enslaved by my um by my uh by my libido will it be gone i think you're your testicles will be gone just the testicles i don't think so i'm pretty sure that creates that's where the hormones are created it's down there um do people with no testicles not want to have sex i don't know anyone with no testicles we got to find this out i think it'll right into the show if you don't have testicles if you don't have any testicles yeah but you're you're supposed to have them i

imagine it would kill not if you just don't have it be supposed to have that's a good that's a very good distinction especially our smart ass snarky fucking audience would be like, I will love it. Go away. Fucking slammy, but keep paying me though. So, so we have something a little bit special today. I believe

so we have, we've undergone this little, we've started this little contest where we wanted to find like a new kind of intro for the show. Yeah. And we let, we let you guys make it for us. And we're going to, we have a bunch of

submissions from you guys. Your your musical contributions to the snark tank are now here. We're going to listen to them live. We're going to, we're going to see which one wins. We're going to judge them. We're going to judge him severely. Respectfully. Well,

that's not necessarily mutually exclusive. Severe judgment is usually absolutely unnecessary. It could be good. Yeah. It could be good for the soul, I guess, for some people, but it's usually not necessary. Constructive criticism. We'll try. to leave out the ad hominems, but

I can't make any promises. We can't make promises on that front. Yeah. So what do we got? So what do we got? Do we have the names of the people who submitted? So what I was supposed to do was my fucking email is not attached to my new phone,

unfortunately, the Snark Tank email, unfortunately. Yeah, yeah. Because what I was going to do was just look at them, you know, oh, this is this by this person. Only one person has their name attached to the actual file. Yeah, to the file, which, you know, this person's actually. smart. I appreciate that. Good. Yeah.

The person is actually smart. Yeah. But yeah, like, here's the thing, though. The person that knows it, like, so, say, for example, if you pull up, you pull up the things and if you see, uh, for you Dutch, if you, I don't know if you can see that MP3 and like, because there's only

like, there isn't that many entries, ladies gentlemen, uh, there was, I think six contestants and one person. That's more than I thought, to be honest with you. Yeah? Because like, I mean, like, I don't know, making music is a particularly, like, specific skills. set that like even if even if you do it crudely like most of the people that I know wouldn't even know where to begin doing that you're absolutely right you're absolutely right like I kind of

think about it I was like oh this is kind of low but then when you yeah when you say that I'm like that's right okay I have the emails of the people I guess yeah so well within the yeah don't worry about it's not a big deal I don't want to if you're if you're part of this you'll know you'll know it's you I don't want to get too complicated because there's some things maybe they didn't want to disclose that information exactly So, yeah, fair. But I'm going to pull up... I'm going to pull it the first one.

It's called for you, Dutch. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah. So let's fire this one up. That's what you're my new ringtone. I'm going to download that guy as my ringtone. So it's the whole... It's the whole script.

It's the whole thing and more and then some. Like it's... So, you know, I like it? You know what's crazy? That's pretty good. That's not bad. What's crazy? that kind of music has only gotten better

to my brain, which it makes me sad. I don't know what's happening to me. You know what's crazy to me is that I genuinely this is unfortunate, but I think AI country music is significantly better. It's weird that you say that. I actually agree with that too. Like, I don't mind that at all.

Like, that doesn't bother me because I know that it doesn't come from an evil person. That's crazy. That's such a blunt, yeah. It feels neutral. It feels authentically neutral to the point where I feel like okay.

You know, like it doesn't... I like country music more. you're older and I'm like what the fuck's happening. See what happens though? Jamaicans. Why is everything a Caribbean thing with you? Jamaican people love country music. That's a, I swear.

A lot of people love country. Like this is. Well, there's no, there's no reason for a Jamaican rotham man with dreads that smokes, sweet, eats curry go all the time to be a fat like, there's no, no, no, no. No, but listen, you do this all the time. You're like, oh, I peeve standing up. It's a Caribbean thing. Like, not everything is a Caribbean thing.

Most of my traits. are? No. Most of your traits are people traits. No, you are assumed

that. I know this. I don't scutter, people don't scutter up walls backwards to hang in the ceiling. That's,

I do that. That's because you're gay, not because you're gay. That's a gay thing. It's like a gay trait, bro.

I will say, I wonder if your appreciation of country music does coincide with its popularity with the youth

maybe. I wonder. Is that more popular with the youth about the music? It's more probably than rap. So think of, well, um, whoa.

Anyway, I will, so in a lot of country artists have started putting, uh, trap beats behind their, uh, the songs. I know that's happening. Well, so which is, which appeals to the youth. I don't like that. I'm not, I'm not saying, about their tractors and don't mowing down black. Well, no, they're still talking about it, but they're just putting some beats behind it. Yeah. They're like, it's like fucking, uh, drill, uh, country. It's crazy. That, this, Drill put like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, they're trying, some people are trying. It's not working.

British country rap? Is that what you're saying? Not, no, not like. I should say drill with British for me. No, like, yeah, not, not, not British drill. Like, like, I would say something maybe more. It would be. But there's British Jones.

I'll draw my tractor in my blade, James. Oh, my God. I'm not even going to try. That's, my brain was like, how do I pull this together? It's really difficult. A British, like, a British, like, Hick accent. It feels impossible. I think the

goofy. I think that's what it is. What are you doing? What are you doing? It's impossible. It's actually not possible. It's pretty disgusting. It sounds like, I'm not going to be. Now, I know there are some, so we got to find those people online, right? Yeah, if you're a British hick right in.

British people that moved to the states, they moved to the south, and then the second generation, right? The kid that grew up, started to adopt the parents' accent and their surrounding dialect. And so then they have this British hickish shit. So that is, that's definitely a real thing. It's like the Vietnamese guy in Texas

where he's like, ah, me, blah, like the way he was talking, like, he's fishing during a hurricane. He's got like a twang. I'm in the eyeball of the hurricane and they're like, oh my God, it's the craziest accent. Yeah, he's got like a twang to a-

and this nigga's like, he's fishing during a hurricane and I was like, oh, cool, I'm sure you're dead now. I'm sure he had like a cool viral moment, but then like once the eye was over, he got shredded into pieces. I'm sure. I'm sure. I love them in the head as it was whizzing past him.

That's great. You know, honestly, can I say that? That's like that like type of death is something that I kind of thought I would see. More? Yeah. Because like that happened a lot in like movies and like cartoons. Like all sorts of like, if there was a villain. There was something epic about that that's not real, you know?

Right, like somebody getting impaled on a fence. Like that happened a lot for some reason. I mean, seeing that is probably mortifying but also kind of funny. It would be pretty crazy. Probably scary as far. The most vivid memory that I have of like that, I guess it's like from, um, it's not exactly the same way that I'm imagining it. But like hot fuzz when that guy gets fucking impaled through the neck. Oh, I hate that, it's so, I hate that.

The neck is fine because it seems a little funny, but the neck seems like brutal. The stomach is like dramatic You know Yeah And it's like very visceral Like and you know it hurts Because your stomach acid's pouring out and shit Like that's gotta be a horrible way to die

While it's out Yeah Oh You take an ad acid It falls out You can see more Oh shit You get

You get stabbed in the stomach Your stomach acids are bleeding out You're like Oh this is crazy you take a thumbs or something Yeah, you gotta do what you gotta do man Yeah You don't I ever been saved from that

Like it's being stabbed in the stomach And like ripped in it's like quick I can sew them up real quick You may saw my pro fast I think the only way You gotta do it real quick Hopefully the instrument is still impaled And then I feel like that's the

Enough you rip open to me Like if you're like Oh if you've been like disembowed Yeah Can you be rebald? Move on move on to the next one Yes, actually. I think you can be bowled.

No, you actually can, but you have to do quickly before you bleed out. That's all. Which is not very much. Which is probably, you're going to bleed out free fucking quickly. You have been bowled again. Has anyone been re-boweled? He's not. You're not going to find anything.

Has anyone be rebatt? Has anyone been re-balled? Wait, how do you say it? Quora. Quora? Quora. Quora? Quora. I don't like that.

It's too much work for my lips. Anyway. All right. So this next one, it just says it's, it's the draft, snark tank thing draft. And see how this goes. I don't remember how it sounds at all. That's kind of cool, actually.

I don't hate that at all. That reminds you of like, that reminds you of like, um, Tsunami. Well, it's funny you say that because, uh, one of the people, one of the people actually have a Tunami style intro that's even more Tunami than that. That's great. I kind of, I genuinely don't hate that at all. I totally, it's actually not bad.

Um, it's, It's a vibe. Yeah, it starts off a little like, oh, what is this? But then it kind of, you're like... It starts a little bit like penis music, kind of. Yeah. Yeah. Where you're like, what the fuck is it?

And then it like kind of like crescendos. I think it's good, man. I think it's good music. Yeah. Move on. You've never... You don't have that on your Spotify playlist. No, but there's no playlist for that exactly.

That's right. I definitely have it as one of my liked videos in my playlist. Start a Spotify artist page and then compile penis music on it. Do you make playlists for like... vibes or like occasions. Because I don't do, I don't think I do this. Like I've seen a lot of people, they're like,

they're like, you know, summer vibe or whatever. And then they make a playlist. Absolutely not. My playlists are... Does your family schedule look like an endless list of appointments, games, and practices? Just keeping everyone on schedule

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Yeah. And then every song I've ever even slightly liked. Everybody has the, I call it, that one's my ultramix. My ultramix is the one that just compiled of just everything random. I haven't made another problem. playlist in a long time. I'm not really explaining.

It's just my music. Is that it? I've had this playlist since 2011. And that's just where you compile everything. All right. So I have like over 58 hours of music on this. Well,

all right. Yeah. If you ever need to fly around the world like four times, you'll be good. I don't even like anymore. I mean, that happens.

Not like not dislike. It's just you just don't really care to hear it. Like you'll skip it. You'll skip it. I have that. There's a cool little thing that you could fuck with on Spotify where it's like a smart thing where it adds to your playlist.

I don't like that very much though. Well, it's helped me out. I'll skip a lot of it. It broadens your music choice. It gives you more music. I found some stuff that I liked from it. But I don't keep it on all the time. I don't either.

I don't have it on right now. So you have how many hours in your Ultramix? 58. 58? I have 82 hours and 32 minutes. Hey. I don't have like. It's all over the place though.

It's like fucking logic outcast, Mark Anthony. Hank Williams Do the amount of Like it's all over the place So my problem now is that I was so much smaller than you guys My ultramix is just Less just a little less than four hours

That is how Well because I have a couple of So I don't have very many I just have I wouldn't call them vize But it's just oh Say I have one where like Oh here's my here's my ADM playlist

I'm like I just want to listen to some type of shit like that Most of it is just trance music where it's just kind of chill And uh It's just You can't fucking say that word without it sounding like trans music The look he gave it When like when everyone started like freaking out Like the trans panic started and I'm like

How do you say trance music without it sounding? Yeah but you have to go trance But when people are talking normally you're just going to trans music. They don't enunciate. Like they, yeah, because why would you? Who does that? I do. No, you, no, you don't. You actually, I don't. My brain has to catch up on what you say sometimes. You'll talk so fast and everything is come. There's no, there's no spaces. You specifically don't enunciate.

Uh, what? There's no space. There's sometimes I'll be talking to there. There's no spaces in your entire sentence. I'm like, yo. And then I'm my brain scanning what you just said. You see the word? You're like, got it. And I'm like, okay. I know what he said now. I'm trying to focus. My head is shaking, but my neck is still. Exactly, exactly.

That's because you eat processed foods. I can't stop eating process. My playlist is so hip-hop oriented, but I don't listen hip-hop as much I used to anymore. Yeah. So now it's like they still recommend a bunch of hip-hop music that I wouldn't listen to anymore. I'm like, not that I wouldn't do is not my main cup of tea anymore. I still find some pretty good stuff. Because I'm definitely like more like like like, like, like, like, neo-

wave like wavy soul music now that's like what I prefer I've been a little bit of a metal hit lately but like not real metal music like fucking like like baby metal like like baby metal like like baby metal like like like baby metal like like like there's a genre of baby metal it's like metal it's like metal it's like metal if a fucking seven year old right that's what I thought you meant but there is there is a band baby metal yeah I'm sure you've heard some of their stuff just deep pipe passing by I guess I don't let's like I listen to like fucking metallic I just I just to like I just think that by like, like, oh, I've heard that I just didn't know what it was.

Like, you know what I was probably like that. Yeah, baby metal is like, I, baby metal is kind of everything. The, the, the, the, the, the, the comedy band that plays that makes the music, they're, like they, one of their albums, there's like, oh, well, we're going to make a song like the band between the buried in me. Oh, we're going to make a song that sounds like slip knot. Oh, we're going to make a song that sounds like their opening song, sounds like Dragon Force. Like they're like they fucking do everything. But they have the, they're like a female fronted. Oh, right, right.

And like, they're giving me just almost kind of like K-pop. Are they Korean or J-pop? J-pop. J-pop. They're, um. Oh, really? Yeah. Um, they're, but it's literally like, it's the craziest shit. I remember hearing it for the first time.

I'm like, this is schizophrenic. It's a, uh, it's a, so it actually just popped up on my, I have so much Japanese fucking rock music for one that was truly in my way there. I have so, I have that, uh, I'm going to play. I know that. So, you know, yeah. So you've heard like Yeah

Like So yeah I didn't I didn't I didn't step Um Not step Me

Uh Dance Dance Dance Revolution Oh it was in one It was in one of It was in They also had a Their What was that fucking

Rock band I lost I was gonna say I lost I was gonna say by the way Give me chocolate It's the most It's the most It's the most Most popular song

You probably heard it Because it's the most Cheeby J-pop thing Where they're like Like all this shit That like I'm not really into But then like The chorus kind of

Is kind of a bang But they're like, what the, the time? I can't some music anymore. I used to, dude, K-pop made me so much less of a fucking wee person. I was like, oh, yeah, I guess I'm out of this culture now. I think I have finally grown out of it. I mean, I still, yeah, man, I have some.

There's not a single, well, no. I have some Japanese. There's one. There's, I have some, like that one song. I saw your face and wow. The gay pop? Yeah, sir. I love cave. Yeah, no, I've heard some K-Bat.

I still, I still have, um, the, uh, the, what do you call I have some stuff from like when I would watch anime a lot because there was one Naruto opening that I actually think is genuinely a good song

It's the Asian Kung Fu generation Yeah That one Whatever the fuck that is I don't know what it's called I don't know it I'm sure I'd like some of I like a lot of the intros man

I love to Attack on Titan I think it's season two's intro It's least the second intro they've ever had That shit is like It's like old school heavy metal and like say of Judas priests in their later years, it's fucking dope. Yeah, so.

Yeah, it's the one where because first the other one's like having sex with a small as beagle. Yeah, so it's called that. But like I don't, I mean, it's called Japanese calligraphy.

That's what it's called. I think I have that phone bought on my song bought on my fucking Apple music. You bought. it yeah they used to buy music when I was younger well yeah I did you know the last album my bot was like probably 2014 it seems like punk oh I know I have another song I have another I like another song on that album what do we got that's enough yeah look like

cool yeah yeah well weird yeah Asian ska Asian ska Asian ska again again baby metal has a fucking ska song like they're they're fucking great they're they're one of my favorite bands because they're actually, it was a shame the, the lead guitarist, uh, back in like 2019 or something fell like stories and died. Oh, good. Thank God. I thought, I thought it was going to be like a lost profits type situation. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. But I would, it's the best case scenario is that he fell off a fucking, yeah, he fell off a skyscraper and tumble with it. Yeah. So he's, yeah, he's dead as shit, but it was, it's obvious that he was the main composer. Right. Yeah. And so, their music is the quality of suffered unfortunately.

Like they're still putting out some decent albums, but the musicianship, I was like, damn. Now he's decomposing. What a fuck. Brilliant. Brilliant,

Chris. All right, that's pretty good. What's the next? All right. So this next one is, it says snark tank intro rap. Oh,

no. Yeah, I think it's like, my name is snarky and I'm here to say, it's just the fucking Aquatine. My name is. That would have been pretty, actually,

I would have been like that. I like that was, I like that was a good troll. So I'm serious, bro This is very new job As ass I fucking is Yeah

These are better than I thought they would be Like by a lot Holy shit I thought this is a vibe I very much undersold it And to be fair I really expected Somebody to be like

Boots Kets Boots Kets Boots Kets The Stark tank is here The fuck of Boots Boots cats I guess

That's how you beat by Boots Boots cats Boots cats Boots cats respectful tone. What do you mean? That's not how you beatbox at all. That's how people explain it.

I've seen people explain it this way. Like an automatapeia kind of thing? Yeah, like, Buzkets. I've never even considered that it would... Yeah, I've never heard of explaining. Yeah, I've literally, like, I don't know what the context of... I just mimicked it, whatever it was badly.

Oh, yeah, right, right. I feel like people who can't do anything, like beatbox. Like, I feel like if they can't beatbox, it's like, It's almost like not knowing how to just speak, if you know what I mean. Because it's not really... Yeah, you can do it well. Like, it's one thing to do it well. But to be able to do it at all is kind of fucking...

It's people that practice it and they perfect it. But if someone's like, I don't know what... What do you mean? You don't know how to make sounds with your fucking mouth? No, I don't... As they're speaking? Yeah, they're so... And they die.

Did I kill them? They forget how to think and they die. Cops, you made this person not speak and they die. life. I have to say that, yeah, man. I don't know. So far, it's kind of a lot. I really was expecting just a fucking mess. Like it to be like, I was like a side like some guy like hitting a xylophone off key yelling our names. That's actually. See, I guess. I guess, uh, I guess, uh, I guess the reason that I, because I kind of undersold it in a way that, um, as far as it being, uh, content, I guess for the podcast. I was thinking, well, it, they're there, you know, it's serviceable.

It's going to be a quick segment and not like say, oh, we're going to like fucking laugh our asses off hearing some of this shit. Right, right. I was kind of like thinking, but as far as I'm being like serious entries, there's serious injuries. There's nothing insane, unfortunately. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's great. I mean, I think some of these already, I'm like, that's a good, that's good for extra ammo, I think. Yeah.

I don't see it. Yeah. Or even, I don't know, I like them. Yeah, so, I mean, definitely one of them can be, especially like, yeah, I do like, I love, what is that fucking genre, lofi? In a world of endless notifications, there could be an important one you're missing. Your kidneys may be signaling an SOS. With high blood pressure or type 2 diabetes, your kidneys could be warning you of early signs of damage, which may put you at higher risk for events like heart attack or stroke.

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You finally found something? My K-pop song I fucking love that's... It is a perfect night. No. It's... I really like girly K-pop music for some reason. It's a vibe to me. Because you're gay.

We told me... We can't hear too much of it because we're going to get... Yeah, it's under 10 seconds. Yeah, it's good. It's good. It's from Overwatch. It's the only thing I got him of Wovwaters. What?

Overwatch? Yeah, they did a... They did like a K-pop collaborative. Watch, like, like, the second season? Fuck. When it came out. I want to do that, man. They pay good money when they do that shit.

Like when artists... I was like, fuck. I want to like... We should, you know, I know we have a lot of leverage here, but like, we should talk to... We should talk to Epic about getting our skins in Fortnite. A skinny skin would be crazy. I, we can some... I feel like we can manipulate the people.

People that have never heard of any of us would see him and be like, yes, put him in the game. Right, right. I think if... I know there's people that know how to manipulate Reddit and get on, like, front pages and all that shit. Right. We got to figure out to do that stuff. Yeah, we got to be. Yeah, we have to figure that out.

Yeah, and then we'll get you in. We'll get you in the skin and they'll. I don't know Chris. Well, because, Chris, you're, you're such a regular person. Yeah, I'm just like a person. You're not, like, you're, there's something about, like, say, look at the merch that we've sold with your face on it, if you know what I mean. Like, you're, you're, you're just, you're like, you're like, you're a regular guy. No, you're very, like, strange looking and, like, you've got, like, this ugliness about you that's like, it's, it's, it's just very, you know, you can't help but stare.

Let's go to the next entry. Yeah. All right, so this next one is the, this is the Chinami one. I'm just fucking around. I don't believe you entirely. I don't believe you. I just thought, like, what is the meanest thing? What is the most hateful thing you can say to this guy right now?

Fucking ugly coon. Yo! We're done, guys. Have a good night. Peace. You gay coon is great. You gay coon. The raccoon, you know how they have like the bandit thing?

What if it's just like rainbow colored? Is that like a gay... That's sick. A rainbow raccoon is crazy. That's sick. It's like fucking gay ass. Put the fucking, please. fucking gay ass coon and then you show the fucking

and it pans over that and it's like whoa that's a shirt that's a shirt that's a shirt that's a shirt you can't really wear I can wear it because I'll just tell everyone I'm gay they'll believe me too because all that shit that I do

you're gonna build a plausible case for yourself you know it can exist comfortably in homophobia now because you can't touch me no one can reasonably bring a case against Derek at all it's real I love it I absolutely love the people like you're clearly good I'm like okay

cool I'm like I mean so insane that's actually extremely fucked up but like it's amazing

in a terrible way to be yeah I'm gay just to be around yeah just to say gay say really homovolving shit that's like that's like

in in that old trope and in coming of age movies where like there would always be like some guy who's like pretending to be gay

just to like yeah hang out with girls see a beer yeah that's really fucking terrible yeah

yeah just a Yeah, I'll just like to hang out with the girls. I get a dress and just sit there and stare in a really. Yeah, it's a really depraved thing to do. It's very intelligent, but like... Yeah, it's, it would have been smart, but, you know... It's smart in a devious way.

In a devious way. It's like, eh. Yeah. Anyone that does that is like, you should be, like, not friends with them. It's too much effort, too. If you play a long game like that, there's something wrong with you or right with you. Yeah. You know, it's crazy?

The long game is concerning. I've had female friends change in front of me, specifically, they say, take your glasses up because they understand how blind I am. No. And it works. You're like, you dumb bitch. See, that's what you need to do is, uh, you will see this is the water contacts. Yeah.

And then wear glasses be blinded. Yeah. So you're walking out the room. Crazy headaches. Chris, okay. Yes. Boom. That's so creepy.

Running at the wall. Dude. That's so, not only is that disturbing for that one moment. I'm just seeing boobs for like maybe three, four seconds. Yeah. Like that. That is exactly that. And that, like, the payoff is so minimal.

The payoff is so minimal. And then the, dude, wearing glasses with contacts. Painful, isn't it? It's not painful. But, like, dude, your head's going to hurt after a while. It's, like, exposure in some way. It's almost like staring into the sun where it's like, it hurts a little bit now, but it's going to hurt way bad if you stare completely continuously at it.

I just start the sun. It's crazy. I can still see it. Yeah, but you can't see. I can't see. see the sun. That's true. You can't even see the sun. That's true. You don't even know you're staring at the sun. That's got to be the worst thing about being blind. You don't even know you're staring at the sun. You feel it. You can feel the sun. I don't think you can. Can you not feel warm? Warm? No, and you're blind. It takes the light. Every property of light is gone. It's like a, you know how primary color? You know how primary colors have opposites? Yeah. It's like sight is the opposite of touch. And so, uh, if you lose sight, you lose sight. You lose. touch as well. That's not how that works. How do you know? How the fuck do you know?

You're right. You don't have any fucking blind friends. Yeah. I have a blind cousin actually. I'm blind also. Well, I have like a straight up blind he can't see. Yeah, I can't see either. But he lost his eyesight progressively. Ah, man. At least that is better. That is better. He saw before he saw so we

know stuff. Yeah. I've always thought about like Stevie Wonder. I'm like, damn, that nigga doesn't know anything. Like, think about like. He was a warm blind, right? I actually don't know, but he's been blind long enough to where all of this. the craziest shit that has happened over decades. He has no idea when anything. He was born with like nostrils where his eyes should be.

And so, like, he just, he's never, he's never seen anything. Like, he sings a fucking well. He was like, yeah. Does he have four nostrils? He has had four nostrils? He doesn't even know. He gets like a deep breath while he's singing. That's broken.

There we're stupid. I see trees of freeze. Right. Right. That's not him. That's the same person. That's not him. Georgia

That's not him either Sweet Carolas Sniff sniff sniff Sniff He was insulting You guys are insulting One of my favorite

Fucking musicians Dude he's great man He's gonna fuck it He's What is that? You look at he got hurt That was the most homophobic I've ever seen

Wait, what happened? I think I missed it. We accidentally touched hands and he freaked out. You fucking... That is an extreme level of homophobia. I love it. The idea of someone being like that is... Just like...

Fucking, the next level is just getting punched. Immediately like... It's immediately like to punch someone. His friend is he loved. loves when he fights. He's like, don't fucking love me. Fuck you,

you nigga. So then he has like a, like this, this layer of homophobia underneath him, I think. Yeah. Like it is underneath.

I think my, I think my, because he would get furious when I would like, touch his arm gently. Yeah. I don't like, I don't like people touching me

genuinely in general. Like even women, I don't like women touching me. Don't fucking, don't tuck me. You're fucking, you're less than me. But what if a woman

touched you? Would you beat her? He's thinking about it. He's like, I would want to hit her, but, I don't know. When Lily hugs me sometimes

I'm like, yo, get out of here before you're in danger. But like, I just don't like people putting their hands on me in general. Like even hugs. I don't really hug people. Yeah.

It's gross. Why would you want to touch someone else? Yeah, there's only, I only hug hugger's. Because there's some people that like, like that shit. But then there's people that I know,

like, like, I'm not necessarily a hugger. So I know you're not a hugger, not really. You're not. So, like, it is so rare to hug, like, like people who want, like, yeah,

I'm in a dad. adaptive person. I don't really have a problem with it. I don't seek it out on purpose necessarily. I don't look people I love. And I don't really love a lot of people. I have love for a lot of people, but I love a lot of people.

I've hugged my dog and my pillow. You hug my fleshlight. Fleshlight that I'd never clean. I definitely clean it once a year. That is so rare. It's alive. Like a fucking. Do you hear that story about that guy

that forgot about a flesh life that he had he would like fuck it to death and never cleaned it. Aspen gold? Well it was probably his protege. Yeah. And like Asman Silver? I thought this dude. I was about to say the same exact fucking yeah.

That was such an obvious joke. What did that piece of should do recently? Asmond Silver is so stupid. It's so stupid. It's his son is my son Aspen Silver. That his dad is Asman Platts. platinum. Asman platinum. Asmond diamonds.

The whole family. The final rank is Asman master. Do you see that thing of him like drinking water? That's what it was. That's what it was. He like chased it with a soda or something. Sorry. What did you just say to him?

He doesn't like water. He drank if a Fiji water. So one of the best better quality waters, technically. And he was disgusted. He thought it was disgusting. How the fuck does anybody drink this? and he chases it with the soda, right? And somebody quote tweeted, which was my thought,

because I've had this same argument with people. They're like, oh, he probably for the first time tasted the bacteria that's just pooling in his mouth because he obviously has poor hygiene. And so he was like, oh, this is disgusting. He literally took a wolf of bacteria shit. And he was like, this is disgusting, washed it down with some fucking aspartame, you know?

So he's like just covering the biome that is his mouth with sugar and fructose and shit. And I think people, the people that don't like, water or think like certain waters are absolutely disgusting. I wonder because I was like I want to I would love who cares about actually doing that experiment. It's that's time consuming. But at the same time I have a little curious fleeting. I'm like I bet I could. All right, wash your brush your teeth. Um, whatever, blah, blah, blah, gargle. 10 minutes later, we're going to do some taste test. And I,

and I feel like a lot of people would have a very different experience versus their mouth swimming in bacteria all day. Their tongue laced in because a lot of people don't even scrape their tongues. Yeah. Yeah. Like so I feel like a lot of people are. tasting their disgusting mouths. I truly believe that. And Asim and Gold must have one of the grossest mouths in the world. Oh, yeah. My question is not liking.

Not liking water is so insest. That's like not human. Well, it's a little inhuman. It's a little. That's not creature. Well, I used to not like it really. But no, but like you didn't like it, but you didn't dislike it. Water is so hard.

Right. Yeah. I would just always like, I would have water and it would be like, it would be fine, but I would be like, I would really, I would really, prefer like a lemonade or something you know what I mean? Because I was just like very like hopped up on sugar I still kind of am technically I get I get it who isn't yeah my going but I love what like this is water like literally right here so I've gotten so much

better at drinking water in general like I've got better as I like started playing basketball you gotta get better drinking water dude I just when you play sports I just don't understand because how old has been gold he's like 40 he looks like he's 40 he's definitely in his 30s the 35 maybe yeah I have no idea actually

uh you can't asmen gold died today. Listen, he died just now. That would be crazy. Four seconds ago. From the water.

I take water. He killed him. He's 34. He's 30. Oh, wow. Yeah, totally. Yeah. So that's too old to not like water.

I think. Like, there's a reasonable point where, like, even, I'll give you even up until your mid-20s because you're not really a disciplined adult, really. You know what I mean?

But even, like, not even mid-year-old 20s. You know? You should be over the whole. whole like water is is bland and boring because it is it's you know it's bland there's no taste to it necessarily but you know what it you know what really nothing is more refreshing than water though like like like like when you're really thirsty drinking water is in water water to me feels like salad in the sense that like it's not bad it's good like it feels like maintenance to me where it's like i don't mind doing this this is good this is good for me i like doing something that's good

for me. But like, I don't think I've ever like, tasted water that I've preferred on a paste perspective more than like, I don't know, a tea or like a coffee. You know what I mean? I think people, it's, it's, they have the wrong idea because it's not, it's water's not about flavor. Right. It's like, it is about quenching, you know, your thirst. And that, what, what you were saying is nothing feels better than to me, there's a, there's, uh, there's that effect. Man, somebody said it to me, uh, before. But it's that effect when the water is, you know, completely frozen over yet in your freezer. You take it out and then it has that frozen.

You'll see it freeze in real time. And so it's frosty. You got that perfect moment to where it isn't completely solid, but it's frosty. But it's cool seeing it happen. You'll see the liquid. You'll fucking, it changes temperature. When I first saw that I thought the fucking world was. I thought that was really magic in the world.

I was like, how does this happen? That's the coolest thing to me. And that, that's slushy. When you're just doing that, to me, there's nothing more like that quenches your thirst. Now, if you want some sweet, then you can add some syrup to it, right? Like a strawberry cherry syrup and holy fuck, now you have a tasty treat. But as far as me, I'm like, oh my God, my body is thanking me.

You know, I almost want to jack off now. You know what I'm right? It refueled me and it's like, hey, you can expel more cum now. You're hydrated. Well, what really, like, blew my mind about it was like, because I just, again, I just didn't prefer it in New York. I was just like, whatever. And then I came.

Right. But then I came out here and then I had like the tap water out here. or like just like the way I remember being like oh water can in fact taste terrible and I realized only that only when I had like a thing to compare it to that I was like oh water back home is pretty good

I don't mind Where we live it sucks But you had though you had a well Yeah so you're fucking lucky bitch But um like I literally to the point that my grandmother Would just buy like Poland Springs We'd get like the thing to remember to our house And we would drink I would drink

We had Poland spring too Like every I'd go away basketball I'd drink on me when I play basketball one. I was like, I fucking love this water. But obviously, like, lemonade is sugar. You know, obviously, the sugar acid of it is, like, fundamentally. Well, I would argue lemonade is probably, like,

the most refreshing kind of sugar. Like, like, I don't, that's like the definite, like a refreshing, like a glass of lemonade and like the sun and shit. Like, that's like, that's like water, sugar and lemon, like, actually. Right. But it's like water, it's water tier as far as, like, refreshing goes. Real lemonade's so fucking good.

Real prepared lemonade, bro, is crazy. So good. Oh, my. I miss. I'm not big on the sweet. The oversweet and stuff. Like, I like it when it's bitter. Like, when it's like, there's like sour.

Have you ever had somebody properly make you like flavored lemonade, like really made like watermelon or like blueberry or strawberry lemonade? Not. We would do that. And when I would go to Atlanta, my cousins from Atlanta would make like prepare, like they would make like proper puree and they'd prepare like strawberry lemonade or like blueberry lemonade. And that shit is out of this world. Yeah. Because it tastes like real fruit. It's like the real taste of lemonade with like fruit actually in it.

Yeah. So it's still delicious. I see. I miss it so much. I've ever done anything like that. The diabetic is shit, though. Diabetic is fucked, though. Yes, of course.

My foot fell off. That's what a fucking... I can't. I only can't hop on one foot. Southern ice tea. Southern ice tea is, I think that's why the whole South has diabetes because... Oh, yes. That and fried everything.

And fried everything. But there's so much goddamn sugar. Whenever I have it, whenever I'm down south somewhere and I have a iced tea down there, it's basically McDonald's just trying to mimic it. If you ever did it, I don't like sweet tea. It's crazy. I've never liked it ever, ever, ever, ever. What do you mean? I don't like sweet tea.

I like tea. Like, I like tea beverages. I don't like like the drink sweet tea. I don't like that at all. I love it. I mean, I don't like it. Especially a sweet green tea. God damn, so good.

Yeah, like I'm not. I never with a little splash of lemon, you get a green tea, but a little bit of, you can use honey or something different. I like chilled tea. Like I like, I like, but I like, I have like at home, right? I have the whole entire tea decanter thing for, for teas right now. And we made like iced tea over the, um, over the, over the, summer sometime and I was like oh this is delicious it's really good but like I don't like when you think of sweet tea like the sweet tea that you have in like Atlanta's like that or the

south yeah I don't like it very much mm not a big fan I like it with uh rather water than that actually I just don't like it because you can't drink too much of it you're gonna feel bad there's just too much sugar in it was way too much yeah so like if you use like if you make like an Arnold Palmer like you get real lemonade that's different and then you throw in a little splash of some sweet tea fuck because it's so much more refreshing I don't know why it just Get some more refreshing with ice tea. That shit is that's good. Let me ask you something.

So I know your favorite restaurant is a raisin canes. It's not. But, so what, the lemonade there? What is that? I haven't had lemonade raising canes. So I,

dude, my tongue right now can't remember the taste of lemonade. I think it's piss or something. I don't understand what it is. It's not lemon. I don't know if you ever tried the lemonade from there. No, I barely have even been there.

When I, whenever I sip it, I've sipped it a few times because I'm like, maybe I'm just fucking getting told or something. I've had different lemonade from the different ones. And I want to look at all the customers and be like, what is this? It doesn't even taste like fake Minutemade, you know? Like Minutemade will at least somewhat mimic what a lemon tastes like. Yeah.

I don't know what I'm drinking. And I'm like, I guess I feel insane. I feel like that people accept this and they're like, this is good because, I think it tastes like sweet piss Imagine like if you put If you put If you put sugar in piss That's what it tastes like to me

That is when you drink a cup of sweet in piss Well see what would happen What would happen is You would think it's levitate If somebody fucking put a bunch of sugar What if it's like a pulpy piss I hate that idea Move on

We gotta get to some of some more of these You've seen it before right The fucking dark piss That's like dark pulp's in it It looks like Is that it does your piss have pulp on it Darth piss not anymore

all right we're gonna move on you should talk to somebody Sith Lord named Darth Piss Right green piss We didn't do the Tsunami one did Not the one that's explicitly Yeah that one's next This TNami one here we go

Ooh Reminds me of an ape escape That's amazing That's actually really good I'm so sick That's really fucking cool What the hell? That one's definitely

I'm really guys so far I'm very proud of y'all Yeah, you guys I hate to be a glazer But this fucking really dope I'm gonna glaze this shit out of you dude Alright we got two more You're dunker

You're a monster The next one is horrible This one It's gonna be It's gonna be a It's gonna be the sound of somebody masturbating but like in the next room You hear I'm fucking

Hunting and grunting Is it's a 911 call If somebody dying I would love that one Yeah Um Okay so this guy you actually put his name in it So his name is Izzy Rael

So Snark Tank This is a shorter version You said so that's okay Obviously you must have a longer one Power cord It's like a surfer kind of Almost yeah Little

It's like metal surfer Almost It sounds like something You would hear in a Dragon Ball movie Yeah Like at the beginning Yeah Yeah

I liked it Still not bad at all It's not awful Yeah So Not at all appreciate that we have one last one I said to you guys

inward inward inward inward you have to stop sending those why you get stuck your head yeah because they do get stuck in my head when you see black cats you immediately thinking yeah if you see that is crazy

all right last one these are great oh my god it's like fucking bad religion It's that complete like Top punk thing That's legit It sounds good It reminds me of that fucking Asian

Gunku generation song actually like genuinely Ooh What the fuck? Yeah so this one's pretty good The only thing was like A little bit too hype for an intro Yeah it's high energy Yeah

But it's dope It's good I like it a lot Holy fuck guys I think these are all fucking Like genuinely pretty splendid Dude These are genuinely fucking splendid

I try to be kind and nice with my words and use slightly better words than nigger all the time. And I get torn down. When I say, whenever I'm playing Digimon and my friends and I'm like, wow, man, this is rather great. And they're like, you're like, you're saying Rather? You said, rather, you fucking idiot. And I'm like, guys, I'm not saying fucking. Hey, hey, did you say rather? Yeah.

That'd be crazy. This is quite cool, man You said quite You didn't say really You fucking mid Just like oh Yeah Why you're trying

Stop trying to be white man We don't like it I don't want to be white at all I want to use proper English I guess being proper Is he just said proper English Did I say proper? You said proper English

I just want to be proper English What's happening Where these are schools What is going on You're gonna come in all disfigured And like oh I'm finally I finally Yeah

Dude, I fucking, is that all of them? That can't happen to me. Wait, so is that all of them? Yeah. That was all of them. Dude, that was pretty fucking crazy. Shout out to fucking dude. You guys did a very good job, honestly.

Yeah, I appreciate the people that actually did it. Especially Chris, when you, when you mentioned that, oh, yeah, there's a lot of people that can't just jump on their fucking computer and just whip something up. Yeah, thank you for drinking this Tommy even make those, bro. You guys rock, bro. That's pretty dope. Yeah, I'm going to say, I'm enamored as fuck with those Tsunami ones, like both of those. Yeah, should those are sick.

Should we just declare a winner already or should we marinate on it? Let's marinate on it. I think the two nom. The rock ones are too hype, I think. I still like them a lot. They're cool. I like them. It's just not an intro.

That shit would fucking. That might actually be like a like, it wouldn't even be bad like outro. I was thinking of the pop punk one as an outro. The, the lyrics don't match, but I don't think it matters. Yeah, whatever. Because the lyrics are kind of like, it's like an intro. But who gives a fuck? Yeah, if you know what I mean.

Who gives a lot? But, like, I'm, dude, like that, that, um, the hip-hop one, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, these are, these are fucking cool, man. Yeah. I should have forced to leave one, make a fucking intro. Maybe. Yeah. She can sing, she can't, she can sing, but she just refuses to sing. Look, because I really, I can't stress enough how much I was expecting.

Just garbage. Just like they record, like, you know, like, they recorded the audio, like, the audio on their phone. Oh. And it's, it would be like, Chris. Starray. I just assumed that that was going to be Which is it Sucking lots of dick

On the Star Tank fucking ass Sucking more dick I'm gay gay Gag gay This place Coming all fucking all over the place Gay gay Gay gay gay gay

Gay gay Gay gay Gay We were rock you cover But it's just gay The laziest fucking thing possible See the bad thing

about because I've wanted to do Queen but I was like fuck every comment's going to be like it should have been a straight cover because of fighting Mercury Oh yeah And I was like ah It was the same thing

Exactly I just want to avoid that He scares me he's gay Ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm scared he's gay I'm scared Ha ha ha Same thing with Judas Priest

I have a great Judas priest One I want to do But I'm like Ha ha He's fucking homo He's fucking homo He shouldn't be able to It's not funny.

It's already gay. Judas Priest. What would that be like? Jizz. Jiz in his cheeks. Jizzed me. Jizzed cheeks. Jiz drenched cheeks. Jiz kissed cheeks.

Yeah. We'll figure that out. So there's the song. Those are sick though, man. I think it's breaking the law. It's pretty easy. Sucking his balls. Sucking his balls.

Sucking his balls. Oh, is that that just a juice? Bamp. Bown. Now, now, now, now. That's old-school. Judas Priest before they got like insane. I forgot about that. I forgot about that.

I got to add that to that playlist of every song I've ever even remotely enjoyed. It's all the song I've ever heard of my life ever once ever all. Come, brickin' these balls. Bricking his balls. Come, come, come. Add to playlist. All right. We should we move on to questions?

Yeah. Yeah, we should. No, we shouldn't. Why? What's going on? You got something else? No, no, no, I just don't think we should do that. I'm actually having trouble, guys, we weren't recording. You're lying. Stop. There's no need for that.

No, he is recording. I can see it on there. I saw it all. You can't pull me. I remember seeing it when it was at 12 minutes. How did you have a walk out? That would have been, like, for real. Dude, I can't even tell you how many times, like, it's happened a couple times where I'm sitting down and I'm recording a video.

Like, I have the camera up and the tripod up and the mic running. And the camera just wasn't. And, like, well, that's three more months that might be doing anything. And you got to be walked out. I tried. This is beyond me. There's simply nothing I can do. Off I go.

Later. Bye, guys. I got to draw something. Bye. I'm going to draw Dom from fucking. You're going to draw Dom from Gears of War? Yeah. Hell yeah.

Oh, man, that's going to be good. It's just going to look like one of these things. It's just going to look like one of these things. It's going to be that fucking. I can do it. You can't draw. Not at all. You can't draw to a degree that, like, I don't actually understand.

Damn, you're gorgeous. That's it. This is not my ability. Yeah, but, like, I just, I don't understand. Okay. I can tell you, I've definitely drawn in my life less than probably, like, 50 times. I've definitely drawn things. Marcus.

Marcus. You've ever like, draw me like one of your French clothes, Marcus. Don't me right now. All right. All right. I'll give her my best shot. I'm going to draw you naked I like that's how that happened

in Titanic he goes I'm going to draw you naked now I said straight up oh my God let's move on to some questions by you guys over at patreon.com slash snark tank remember you can go over there ask us your questions

get early access, add for you all that stuff remember to like this video by the way and like add this to do all the engagement stuff. Please. Because I noticed the last episode you guys showed up because I asked you guys to throw a bunch of comments in there. And it's interesting.

I don't know how it's not been long enough yet to see like how it will affect it. But yeah, it's pretty crazy. Come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come. Come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come. Where the fuck is the questions? Am I crazy? I just scroll past.

There's all like a human ninja turtle. What are you doing? That's Dominic Santiago to you? I'm trying. Hey, why do I look like this? Marcus, what are you doing? That's not even close to my hair. Bega.

Benaka. Chupa me verga way. What did you say to me? Fucking Hoto. You Mexican say, do you Mexican say, Benaka? Not really. More like, man.

Beenche, Gourero. What a guy means come here, right? Van does just come. Yeah. Yeah. It's more like, yeah.

I wouldn't really hear that. That's more like a fucking Puerto Rican. Yeah, it's currently, yeah. Yeah. Da! Do you think we... Monday. You know what I love?

I had a... This reminds me he's just fucking awakened of every... I had a... This happens to me a lot where, like, I will wake up from dreams laughing because I will, like, my brain will make me laugh out of my dream. And I was in a hospital room and, like, I was in, like, the, this... room where like somebody was giving birth in a hospital and it was baby Marcus Phoenix and he turned to me for some reason and said mom and I fucking couldn't

I laughed myself away like it's a baby with the Marcus Phoenix head with like with like it was it was still it was clearly he had the bandana he had like the low hairline but it was baby features but he still had like adult Marcus Phoenix's voice and it woke me up out of my sleep. I'm sure that is literally how it is in the Gears universe. Yeah, yeah. Maw! Damn! Where's my lancor? Yep, that's Dominic-Sentia. What does he say? He has a headband, even though Marcus. So, wait, so he has a headband. Markis. Don he doesn't have one. After Marcus dies, Dom takes his headband. Okay. So this is in a world where Marcus is dead. This is Mario. That's why you look like.

Yeah, Marcus got shanked by the queen. He's going to have a really big piece. He's going to be going up to his chair. The covenant killed him. He's a very big peepie, Marcus. He comes and kills himself. All right. If a crash happens, he nudge blows his own head off.

Yeah. But it's delayed. It's delayed. So, like, he crashes. And then, and then. All around. Everybody see that?

That was also really impressive. This is unprecedented. He could just kill a berserker by coming on it. It may blow a hole through it. There's no hammer a don. It's just like a... It's hammer of dom. All right.

We're all in. Let's get into these questions from our viewers over Patreon. Patreon. com slash Star Tank. Fuck you, Chris. Chili sucks ass. Parentheses,

Chili's employee. That's fine. Like if you work there, like, I believe you. You have some good chicken strips. Look, I stand by like, dude, chilies, I swear to you, used to have the best chocolate milkshake that I, they put crack or something in it. Because it was unreal how good,

they don't do that anymore. And then I stopped going. I had chilies and like, maybe once in my life had jillies. I had a few times during the pandemic, actually. Oh, really? Yeah, recently? Yeah, it was because they would have, they used have like really good deals. Like you get like a platter of food for like under 30 bucks.

It was like a lot. They were probably going out of business. They were like any of the big. We actually, I actually celebrated with my friend at Chili's when they opened, they lifted the, the restrictions. But that was only momentarily, if you guys remember?

You guys remember in like July or something? There was like, yeah. There was literally people singing in Chili's. We were like celebrating. We made it. And then two weeks later, we were locked out again. That's so sad.

It felt so bad because you knew it was coming because I was in LA Fitness and they were like, everything was cool. Literally the next day they're like, oh, you got to wear your mask while you work out. And I was like, oh, even while you're on your ellipticals and you got to wear, I was like, oh, fuck, this is, this is where we already know. It was that you knew where it was going.

Yeah. They're like, oh, we beat it again. It's like, I don't know, bud. They're like, oh, it was stricter and stricter. And then, oh, LA Fitness is locked. Everything's locked out. I remember almost going. crazy during that shit, dude.

We were losing our fucking minds. During the pandemic? No, we weren't. Okay. All right. That was fine. No, you weren't. But the shit we were watching was insane.

Like, the shit we were like, because during that period of time, it felt so surreal because the dumbish, they were happening consistently. And I was like, oh, wow, this guy got fucking killed by a cop. Oh, wow, these martyrs are happening. Wow, people tried to take over the cap.

It was a series of like, what the fuck version of the universe. Oh, shit. That was around that. Oh, yeah, I guess it was. That was like less than a year after that. Yeah. Because it was March.

It was still during lockdown. Yeah, I forgot about that. I did forget that that was true. It was a while ago. God damn. Isn't it crazy? Yeah. That was two years.

We have lives. We genuinely lost. It was interesting. It was definitely interesting. I didn't benefit from it, though. You know how some people like... I did. I benefited a lot from it.

Did you? Yeah. Because I put my job, I started a real job. I made a bunch of money on Twitch. Oh, right, right. It was a good benefit for me. Yeah.

But like, sorry people that die, whatever they're dead. that. Fair enough. Is that a Netanyahu quote? Yeah. My boy. Anyway,

fuck you, Chris Chili sucks ass, Chili's employee road. He says, greetings gay, and fucking gay. He's a long time listener since episode zero

with Zach, first time patron. Welcome. Welcome. So, nigger. Sup, man. I was like,

oh, he's gonna say it. I was like, he's gonna say it. I can't. Long time. Yeah, long time. Simple question.

Who do y'all main? in Marvel versus Capcom 2 Keep up the great work of drilling holes in my head While I sleep For some reason I thought he was just gonna stop at Who do you mean? And I was like That's a good joke Myself

That's a good joke Because like he literally Did no elaboration That would be good Marvell's Capcom 2 team is very simple Who is it? My lead is Cyclops Of course

Really? He's kind of mid Is he the Wolverine a cyclops What do you use him for? Antierre? Yes his uppercut is fucking solid man His uppercode's good His fucking uh

His beaming up I love that it's a fucking three hit that a beam comes out. I think that's so crazy. But it's usually Wolverine, um, obviously, which one,

um, Boneclaw or, no regular, okay, regular. Obviously the most broken character in the game, fucking Dr. Doom.

Of course, and then Sentinel. I'm a piece of shit. So, if you're gonna do your, you're gonna fit your best, who are your best? Like so,

because you said four. I'm best. I'm best. You said, you said four. So who's, who's your best team? Okay,

my best team is definitely lead Wolverine, uh, what you call, Dr. Doom and Sentinel. And Sentinel. But I'm a swooner. I learned how to play the game only

Sweeterly because I'm not good at the game. I'm carried by those characters. I'm carried by those characters. I'm not good at the game. But I play three stupid-ass characters. I know there's a lot of tournaments that would not let specifically Sentinel.

You couldn't even use them. He's broken. Yeah. Magneto was one in some instances. Storm also. But me, I was so Spider-Man. I would always do Spider-Man. I just, he's so fucking fast.

Not as fast as Wolverine, I think, but just about, but he still get the job done for me. Can Spider-Man cling to walls? He can't cling, right? He can do the thing where he stands on the wall for a bit, or is that only when he does maximum spider? That's maximum spider, I think. I don't think he can just stay there. He can bounce off it, I think. Yeah, I don't think he can actually stay there.

I don't think so. That design of him is so iconic in that game, bro. It's so unbelievably uncomfortable. It's my favorite, it's my favorite frame of Spider-Man anything. is him just his stance in Marvel versus the Capcom 2 because it's so fucking contorted and gross He's so fucking in and he just hold wobble forward Flexible web swing

Web swing I like that he stands up regularly afterwards And he's so much smaller than all these ridiculously built guys He's like One for JJ Yeah dude I love it the pitcher at the end Oh dude it's almost back I'm just like we almost got it again dude

When I have it in the living room actually But when the thing. Well, I have a PS2 and Marvel has got it. They haven't given a date yet for the They also did the Power Stone

Everything so they just did The Capcom fighting Collection The Capcom collection Number 2 Next fucking year Is that like King of Fighters? Bro, it's so cool

Because first of all An exclusive Dreamcast exclusives are on this thing Yeah So Power Stone Which was Dreamcast exclusives Fucking Project Justice Which was a sequel to

rival schools Robles was on PlayStation 1 But Project Justice was only on Dreamcast So I'm like On the game with Akira and everything right? Yeah so with Akia Fucking Batsu He's the main character

Like that game Had this cool ass tag team mechanics That have never really been Tech and did it somewhat But anyway So basically But I love that game I feel like it's

I feel like a lot of people Are you're going to appreciate it now They're going to be a fun Power Stone was fun as shit That's where I think it's What's his name? Hayoto came from He's in a Marvelous Capcom 2

Oh, uh, bandana a long sword Right? Uh, yeah Yeah, my motorcycle Yeah, so is that's Powerstone right And not the other one I'm thinking of With the fucking MEC that the MEC punches you I'm thinking of it was what's the other game

Oh whatever, it doesn't matter Anyway, that shit's gonna be dope Fucking One of my favorite fighting games of all time Capcom versus S&K2 Which has off the rest That is a wild video game The roster is dope

The fucking The animation's dope. The soundtrack. Dude, God Rugal is one of the best fucking side. Like anyone listening to this right now, go listen to God Rugal. And that is one of the best fucking soundtracks ever. That's the game for the Vigin' Ken's in. Violin Ken is in those two, right?

He's in one and two, right? I think Violent Ken, I think, is in it. I know Violent Ken is in chaos for sure. Okay. But I don't, I actually don't, he probably is in it. Shout out. I'm so happy to bring in those games back, man. Capcom is fucking doing.

it, man. They've been on five. Like ever since seven, man, ever since then seven, they've just been, they woke up. It's like, we're getting up from a bad dream being like, let's just do the right thing. Yeah, they were struggling for a hot minute. But, uh, yeah, they're, they're top tier now, man. They're doing amazing. Monster Hunter is super popular. Oh, yeah. The new one looks crazy. They keep throwing them out. They're throwing them out like a lot. They're throwing them out and they succeed. They're not throwing them out like called dudes. They throw them out and they suck. Right. They throw them out. They change things that are good. And then the games just keep like rise. They're great. world was like fucking a brought it like it made it a popular game that's the thing it made people interested and then like now we have outer wilds right is that the next one um wilds wilds or something I think

it's wilds and everybody's super hype for that one too and I'm like dude I'm uh I'm catching up because that's uh world is a good have you played world yet so no I bought it a million years ago yeah I was like this looks really fun um I actually got it from the Humble Bumble yeah that was like fucking spin

like nothing and get all the fucking games I played Monster Hunter World for 30 minutes. It's a fun game, but you got to... I'm going to play a video of that. The tutorial is fucked. It is such a long... Oh, really? And I just did not have the patience for it.

Oh, I just got to play the game, though. You learned a lot of play the game. I think the RISE is a better game. Right, but like I would like to jump into it. Rise is really cheap now, because I've been... That was the Switch one, right? It was on Switch first, and then they uprise the shove and put it on everything else. Cool.

Because the Switch ran it like, you know, like the Switch runs. Yeah, maybe I'll check it. Maybe I'll check it out. I do. Yeah, I like the premise of Monster Hunter. Like, I think about, like, games that I grew up with that I wish. Like, I think about, like, Lost Planet a lot, right? Yeah.

Still to this day. And Lost Planet was so fucking cool because it was just like you and your friends running around killing monsters. Yeah. And Monster Hunter looks like it's like that, right? Way better, obviously. But I just, that tutorial and world really fucked, man. I love the idea that game that's just you jumping monsters. I think it's fucking funny because they try to run away.

I think that's what makes it for me. They try to leave. And they do a freaking dragon's dogma. Like you, they try to leave. Sometimes they try to leave. At a certain point. You're like, that's not half. What are you thinking?

What do you think? I fucked a troll up so hard that immediately there's like, oh, no. And they were trying to like leave. You're like, oh, hell no. Kling onto and start whacking its ass. It's like I'm doing this. I got sucked back into Starfield again. And I just unlocked this ability to intimidate people, like mid-endant.

fight so I can just like walk up to them and like intimidate them and then they run away and then I chase them down and you can shoot on the back of the head pull out a little pocket knife and stab him in the back eight times there's a stabbing animation in the game that's so like it's realistically cruel and I don't know how to describe it but it's like like it's just like there's like a twist to it too it's really getting the fuck in the We need more animations. We hit somebody with a hammer in a game, and the thing falls down on its head and their hammers

on it. Like, like, how do you actually drop a jackhammer on someone's body? We need more of that. Losing is Dragons Dogg. When you hit I hit the Minotaur one time so hard that it fell down for real, and then stammered to its feet. And I was like, yes. I want to see more games where people take so much damage that they end up falling over, like,

Simpsons hit and run characters. That's what I want. I don't. I don't remember. You remember when you would kick, when you would start the game off immediately and you would kick the shit out of Marge? Yeah.

And she would just be like, I don't try to run away. I don't, I haven't played since it came out. We played it with his house for a bit. I forget. When you got all your games back, you paid on the PS2 for a little bit.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I got that show for Christmas. The cops in that game went correct. They were so overly aggressive in that game. There's so much I don't remember. Dude,

that game was awesome. I remember having so much fun with it. That was a good time. That was a good period for games, man. Like, like, the 2nd A to double A area. Like, genuinely, the 2000s were kind of fucking goaded, honestly. Like, 2000 to 2010, amazing. That's why the video games weren't exactly a business.

They were a art form, more or less than that time. No, it was still a business. Not to the same degree I became as all. There wasn't as much money in it, for sure, yeah. Like, the ceiling was a lot lower. Right. And the pressure to just make money back. Yeah, to return.

and also since patching was not really a thing you kind of had to try a little harder before things became a disaster things had to be at least functional yeah recalling fucking fucking disc would be a major problem

that happened to I remember there were a couple games that had to be recalled and it was just like a fucking disaster not in the 2000 as far as I know but I remember one of the bungee's I think one of the myths one of the strategy games

they had to recall it because it would brick people's systems. And it cost them so much. I think it's, it costs them so much money that I think it's why they were, like, susceptible to being bought in the first place by Microsoft because they were like, eh, yeah, we fucked up here.

Could use that extra Microsoft money. But, I miss it, dude. That era was so fun. Hitting Run was such a fucking good game. I never played Road Rage, but I heard that was good, too. Road Rage is the prior one, right? Road Rade was, like, more like the crazy taxi thing.

Crazy taxi one. Yeah, Enron was so fun. But getting in those cars, getting a snow plow. I love that fucking. Oh, yeah, Mr. Plow? Getting the rocket car, the stupid rocket car. It was cool seeing, I just saw on TikTok, not TikTok, Instagram, some guy that was around our age, making his kid play and his kids just running people over and fucking, fucking, fucking yeah.

The kid's just laughing his ass off. I'm like, hell yeah. There's distilled joy in those video games, like sincerely. My versus Capcom, I don't think I ever really played it competitively to the point where I ever got good. So, like, I don't really have, like, a roster. I didn't, I don't even think I ever, like, really try to get good at characters until, like, after. Like, maybe, like, Tekken 2 when I was playing with, like, with my sister. That was, that was, like, oh, Yoshi-Mitsu, I have to figure this out.

But, uh, I think the people that I would pick was always Spider-Man, purely for aesthetics. Like, I didn't even care. Venom, too. I love this fucking. Venom, when he would, like, S. He'd do the slap thing to you. Well, Venom could become, like, that weird, like, the mouth jelly thing, or he would do the, um. Is that in Marvel Arrivals?

I thought I saw. saw like a snippet in that. So what happens in Marvel rivals, he has the blue skin from Marvel's Capcom 2. He has the Cyan Clash. It's just a blue Marvel's Capcom skin. Because some reason that game he was blue. Well, he has blue tint. No, he's blue. Like, there's a blue. There's a blue there's a blue

There's a blue version of him. Yeah, there's color change. It's probably like... That's probably what it is very likely. Because no, if you, if someone else picked Venom, they'd be blue. That's what happened. Yeah. Yeah. So they had that. And then they also had the, because I remember Spider-Man, have you picked other Spider-Man. you'd have the darker blue on his like sides.

You'd still be red when you have the darker blue. So they have that. But then they also have his special that he like slams into the floor and then turns into the mouth that comes out of bites. That's so sick. Yeah, I love that. It's very much so a game for a fan of those characters. Yeah. I saw a snippet of that.

And I was like, oh, that's sick. I've never thought about seeing that in like three D. Outside of our scampments. That's really cool. That's cool when they do shit like that. But it's like you should play it, man. I think you'll enjoy it. I will be free.

Like I'll play it. I don't think it's I don't foresee it being like a consistent thing is all But like I see it like our friends are on playing up like just jump on let's play more Rivals here than just do I'm down yeah If anybody's gonna play Marvel's Captain 2 If you're looking for the in my opinion The best anti-air person is Captain Commando and so that's that would always be my go-to Spider-Man Captain Commando and then for cheesing I would pick cable

cable was yeah you just just spam I had I had Spam white punch I had I had spider man cable And servebot Who was serve by the little dude

Serbod Because servebot was so weird His hip box was crazy Dude Regular over Like regular moves would miss him sometimes You could it You had to be Wolverine

And just berserk a barrage his ass Dude I had such vivid memories of playing Marvel's Capcom too like in a pizza place. Like, vivid. My memories of that game are, like,

in the 360 areas, I remember it is me being in a house. But before that, it'd be like at a bodega, at a barbershop, getting pizza, fucking at like the place Mama's fried chicken

and rice living in the brawl. It was unreasonably popular in New York at that time. Like it was, it was every place that, every place that had any arcade machine had Marius Capcom 2. Oh, yeah.

And it was like, fucking. It was a hit. It was an instant, return on your money. Like if you bought the machine, you're going to get your money back quick. Everybody played it. Yeah. It was so cool. I remember, so there was this place called the laser park in downtown Manhattan. It was the arcade. It was the last arcade I remember really seeing ever around here. And I remember it being so cool. I would go there over the summer of my

second grade or first grade year of school. I would go there with my sister and her boyfriend all the fucking time. And it was the most fun experience I've ever had going somewhere. And they had Marvelous Capcom, S&K, and he had Tekken, I think two was at the time. Yeah. And it was so, but it was a big, like a big arcade area. It was like huge. It was like what David Busters tries to be. Is that like, that's like, you've ever been in New Rock City?

Yeah, New Rock City? Yeah, in Newark City. Yeah. It's like, I imagine, I imagine New Rock, no roller coasters, all arcade. There were roller coasters at Newark City? Usually they were. I'm thinking of the place to the Dragon. Are you thinking of Coney Island?

No, of course. It's not a place in Westchester that's like a fucking drive. dragons there, a fucking, um, we saw the commercials that we fuck it. It'd be that green fuckhead dragon in upstate New York. I forgot what it was. Shinnron? Huh? Shinnan?

No, it's not. It's not Shetongong or Rookerog. It's me, the green upstate New York dragon. That's fucking popin, bro. I'm a fucking dragon. Fuck out of you. Suck out of you, boy. Suck out of you, boy.

Suck out of you, boy. Chop cheese, bacon cheese. Yeah, no, no, New Rock, City. New York City, the last time I went to New York City, we had like, my friends from elementary school, like, before I moved out to L. in 2016, I remember. But it was just like a mall, it was like a big mall

with, like, arcade stuff in it. It had like a laser tag thing. It had like, you know, bowling and it was, it was just like a big arcade, basically. But, so Splashdown,

there's sea breeze, I mean, this park, I've never been there before. Splashdown. I don't remember a, a dragon. A dragon.

Mountain Ridge. I've never been there before. Enchanted Forest. I've been there before. I don't remember the dragon that you're talking about. New York dragon. There was a fucking commercial of it

and I would see and I'm like, this place is fucking ass and I went there and it was more ass than I thought it would be. It's pissing me up because what you're saying is like, like, it's not ringing a bell so much as it's like

hitting the bell and then immediately silencing. Yo, Eric the Human. Eric the Human. Eric the Human. Go summon Joey the Green Dragon. And it's actually a dragon. This was actually a dragon. So it's a dragon with them.

Yeah, but he's not part of the mob. That's why his name is accurate. Yeah. They're trying to recruit him and he's like, I just don't think I fit. I'm a dragon. You'll be Tony the Tyke. You'll be Tony the Tiger. Yeah, Eric, Joey the Green Dragon, aka Tony the Tiger.

Dragon themed upstate theme bar. This isn't real. I don't think you guys. I swear to God. I remember the, like the baby's first roller coaster, like the dragon thing that they would have it, like, some kind of. of at some fairs where it was just like, you know, a low point and then it would go up a little bit and then it would, it was like babies roller coaster basically. I remember that being at like the Westchester County Fair.

This fucking, this guy was just playing a Dragon Ball game. And then he just thought it was the people. Yeah, he was watching an episode of Dragon Ball Z where the dragon was there and he thought I'm at a theme bar right now. It's a breath. The comfort of his own home. Oh, no, bro, this is a real thing. I'm sorry to fucking question myself.

It's clearly not. It should be very easy to find. There's a lot of Mass Effect questions lately, which is interesting. It's kind of like we kind of talked about this a little bit last time, but we'll do a quick one. No way I'm hanging out with a couple of gooners, Roy, and he says, hey, boys, you guys convinced me to give Mass Effect a try. And while I just thought Mass Effect one was okay, the final mission was amazing, but everything else was just decent.

I'm loving two right now. My question is, what are your thoughts on Massific 1 in particular? I have the least experience with this one. I love two and three. I think three is great. Like, I mean, I understand. I get why there was a big. Yeah.

You also didn't have the, you weren't a part of the real-time disappointment back in the day. No, I remember it. Yeah, I know you remember it. But like, so you can play it way later and be like, yeah, this was sweet. And not, I feel like some people are still tainted by that. experience. Well, what I mean, what I mean is, like, I played Mass Effect 3 when it came out, like when it was new. Oh, yeah, because I played Massifax 2, I think, I don't think I played Massifax 2 when it was new, but I played Mazfx 2 like, I think maybe like a year or two before,

or like, I think a year or like a couple months before 3. And I was like, yeah, I'm pumped. Okay. And I played it and I was like, this was great, you know? Yeah. It was like a, it was kind of an unsatisfying ending, but I didn't like not have fun with it. And I thought that that multiplayer mode was awesome. The multiplayer was fun. Like, uh, because co-op. I wish I got a chance experience. Oh, that was fun, man. Just fucking the shit out of everything. It was just like, horde. Yeah. Yeah. The way that I felt about it was like, I mean, it's got to, I don't know,

the way that I felt about it was like, okay, like, you have like a wide, you start off from, like, everybody starts up from the same place. Your Commander Shepard, like, you have like maybe different backgrounds or whatever, but like, it starts off and then it spreads out, right? And then at the end of Massifax 3, it kind of closes back in. And I think everybody wanted it to continue spreading out. And I was just like, I'm fine with it kind of rapping. I mean, I want, like a

a satisfying ending, which it didn't really deliver, I guess. It felt really reductive based on the way the world was built. That's the thing. That's the thing where I understand. It's like the idea. I guess I just don't like the way people reacted about it. I think people overreacted. I think I played the DLC so I know what happens and how it fixes itself.

I actually didn't play the DLC. So like there's, well, all they did was. I want to play the legendary. I want to like, the only problem is so people are comparing it to other bioware titles. Or like, say, for example, if you play, it always goes back to Dragon Age Origins. Because it's the fucking best one. So unfortunately, Dragon Age Origen nailed it with an ending. Right.

Depending on how you ended it, it gave you a nice little epilogue of like, here's what happened from your choices. And it gave it, there was nothing. Yeah. And so unfortunately, which is, that's more of an EA thing or just a modern game. Like we played, we had a whole journey of gears with three games. And the ending is just, all right, it's over. And then it's over.

And so, but since it's. It's not fucking bio if that was, if BioWyer did that, which they kind of almost did, where it just kind of ended. And it's like, oh, what happened to this planet? What happened to this species? All the choices that I made. So then they, but, but they released that free DLC that gave you a little piece of that. They gave you what essentially, because I feel like the people that were mad about the lack of canon, I think it's pretty obvious what was canonical. Yeah.

I think it's extremely obvious if you, if you weren't paying attention. But there was people complaining about that. but when they added that free DLC that gave you a little bit of like an epilogue I'm like that's really what I feel like most people wanted from the beginning. Oh they also to be fair they hated the uh this isn't really a spoiler

because if I say this you're not going to know what I'm talking about if you haven't played it uh the catalyst people hated the catalyst when you get like what the fuck is this stupid bullshit that was the dumbest thing in it that is I don't know why they added that they were like this it was the thing that it's like everything was going a certain way and it was like all right this is fine. You don't have to explain anymore. And they were like, nope.

Here it is. Three is a better. Here's the catalyst. And I'm like, three is a better game than two. Three is a better game than two. But I think like two feels better because it doesn't have that. It doesn't have anything stupid in it. Yeah.

You know, two is just like really good the entire time. The thing about two is that two is barely a game. It's just loyalty mission. Literally. They're fired. They're all like really dope. If you don't do the loyalty missions, it is the biggest nothing game. It's so funny.

Because I've done that just like just to fucking. around. I'm like, I want to see how everything shakes out. I'm not going to upgrade my ship. I'm not going to do loyalty. So everybody died at the end? It is so funny. Who survived at the end? A decent amount. Like half. Me. Like, look it, you have

11 squad, 11 or 12 squad members. I can't remember. But like half will die. And so that's a lot. And like my favorite is especially how Garris can die the way that I had him die. How does Garris die? It's so funny.

Because there's that one when you need a biotic to shield you from the things that freeze you. So there's that whole mission where you need somebody. You typically want someone, it doesn't matter, but they make it act like you need someone who's really good at biotics. You can use fucking Miranda. Miranda. Even though she's not the pro. But they would be like, oh, you Samara. Use someone who's like, use a patient one Jack.

Yeah. You know, that's what they, nothing happens. I hate Jack. You don't like Jack? So annoying That's the tattooed lady, right? Yeah Just got to smash her

Calm her down a little bit You don't like Jack She's a bitch See, I like Jack Because she's the only one You can smash Without romancing her You know?

You can just have You can just have a moment with her It's like in the first game You can smash that fucking That escort And then you're just good Yeah, I don't know Mass Effect I think is

I'm a lover It's really cool I love the Yara too much I wouldn't do that The Yara Lear don't give a fuck. I like Learra because she doesn't care about that. That's like say there's a, oh, so if you, if you didn't, if you start flirting,

Mass Effect One, you flirt with Ashley and, uh, and Leara, there's a little face off where she, they're basically like, you have to choose between and then you can be fucking dope-ass fucking renegade shepherd and be like, why not both? And that's the best because I always choose that, right? And then since, since Ashley, I was dating both Carlyke like and fucking chat. because I did the glitch thing. Yeah, I was dating on both. I guess, fucking on both.

You can't do that in the first one, though, in Mass Effect, because Ashley gets pissed off. She does. She's like, you're a disgusting pig, and Liaro's like, I don't go fuck. Yeah, the way that I feel about RPGs in general is like, I don't know if I, because it's so much of, I guess Mass Effect is a little bit differently because it's, you're, you're playing, like, you know, Shepard and you're like, you're very distinctly a character. Yeah. I don't necessarily care like where it ends Because like it's really about like kind of how you go through it You know

For me the problem is that I think RPGs the nature of RPGs is supposed to be There's supposed to be so much variation in what happens So I think multiple endings is fine But I think one ending is fine Because I think things have to end have to close I think that's one thing that like there's a canon One thing is going to happen for the most part you know But like when you do open up multiple ways

And like a lot of decisions really matter because they go on mattering a lot throughout the whole entire series when it's just kind of one bottleneck at the end I can see if people got mad. I get it. I just don't get why that's why people get mad though. I think mad is weird.

That's how it always has to happen. It's just. There's always going to be one camp. Like there's always one. It's going to lead to like I've always, I've heard this criticism so many times and it never made sense to me in one, unless you're reading a book that's like,

oh, turn to this page if you want to go to this thing. And then it just goes off in this wild tangent. Like, you ever read any of those books? Yeah, yeah. If you want this decision, go to this page. If you want this decision, go to this page, and it'll be some wild shit. But when you're making a video game,

unless you have, like, what, a different disc? Like, it's got to make it an entirely different game. Like, of course, it's always going to still be, like, the same linear wrap-up because it's the same fucking game. Otherwise, like, say, what do you want people to do? You want it to turn into an almost completely different game? I agree.

People are asking too much. And so it's going to end, you're going to, At some, we all know, not a spoiler, you're going to defeat the fucking Reapers eventually. That's the whole thing. Somehow, how is the way that it gets done might be a teeny bit different. The outcome of doing something is going to be a little bit different. I don't feel like that's a bad thing.

I feel like that's pretty. Yeah, it's like, you're obviously going to fight that drag. Yeah, you're going to fuck up Aldoene, right? Or you just not do it. You saved the bugs. Did you kill the bugs? We should save them. This person's going through their first thing.

They help. What do you mean? They very much so help at the end. Like crazy. My thought of my massive one is like I just, I, I think one is a fantastic game. I played one when it was new. Yeah. And I hated it.

I couldn't believe how bad, like, how it felt. It just felt so abysmal to play. It ran it like fucking 12 frames a second. It was, it didn't feel good to play. There's like a lot of quality of life changes in the remake. Or the sprinting? The sprinting. No, the original sprinting was the most bat-shy.

It would literally be like two and a half seconds of sprinting, and it would be like this. You're lightly jogging, and then you go, and then you just run out. It is the most, like you would sprint so fast for like two seconds, and then I'm like, this is the dumbest sprint. I'm not even exaggerating when I say this. I can't even believe that I'm about to say this, but I really believe it in my heart. Mass Effect 1 on the original 360 feels worse to play than fucking Kotor does.

Like I'm not even exaggerating when I say this. Because I played Kotor recently, granted on newer hardware, so it was like it had a boost of course. Right. But like, just moving around as Shepard in Mazatheq 1 felt like

being molested. Like, it's just crazy how bad it was. Kutur is so, such a good game that you think it's good when you play it. And then you're like, this is not a game.

Oh, sure. Like, oh, but this is, you know, I've said, new people listen to this podcast. I've been, you, in that, like, I'm so in this universe now that I'm looking up at the sky and the sun. And I'm like, oh, it's pretty good. That's not bad. You're in Dattoinia, you're like, ah. It's fucking stupid. I played a, I played, um, what was it, the not Survivor, the Fallen Order.

Yeah. After it. And then I'm just laughing because I'm like, I can't believe what my eyes were doing, playing code or because now I'm playing this modern game and I'm like oh yeah fine you were in fact praising the game yeah it looks and I feel like I like the way the mandolarian looks I feel like I feel like we can do that though since we grew up with like those games too we grew up with those graphics I imagine a kid now could never sink into the game the way that I did and appreciate the shitty son because at some point I feel like I know it looked good to me so maybe it's something

that? Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I don't know. Like, I looked at, I thought melee was unbelievably, believable graphics when I was younger. I look at melee now and I'm like, what the fuck was I saying? Marrism have a face. Dude, Dreamcast. When they did the remake of a, uh, or the, what do you call it, remaster of a Resident Evil 2 and they put on Dreamcast, I was like, blown the fuck away. I was like, this is crazy. I can't believe this. I mean, that's impressive to stuff for the time. Have you seen those zombies? They look so, they would even scared. They're like, what the fuck is this? They actually scared me more. It was the, the awkward

moving, the, like, steps they would make, and then the moaning. I hated that shit. Yeah, I think the less high definition things are, the more like you're, you kind of have to imagine. And it actually fucks with it a little bit. I would so, we always talk about what universe would you be in that one. If there were zombies? No, no. Only not them because of the other shit. Like, the regular zombies are fine, but then the other shit is insane. The stipulation is those other ones have not happened. Let's just talk about zombies. Of course I wouldn't want.

If there were Mr. X's. Nemesis, what I do? Fucking flash-knipping at you. Dude, sometimes he just goes fast. I hate that about him so much. Dude, busting through the walls is crazy. But his tentacles? You're like, ill.

Back in the day, even like in the regular PS1, you just bust through the wall. And then he would tower over you. and do the slowest charge-up like he's a bunchel. And I'm like, ah! Like, you do the slow. That shit is terrified because you can't just run away immediately. You have to turn first. Oh, yeah, you have to turn.

You have to turn by doing the D-pad right or left. Oh, my God, it's the D-pad to I forgot. And then you press up to go forward. Those mechanics, old Capcom fucking direct, that direction thing, whatever it was called. Yeah. That's why it worked. And that's why it made it way harder because the opening scene

You need to run very straight If you're slightly out of curve You'll run into one of those fuckers It made it scary It did make it a lot scary It really did I miss those games so much man They're fun

The fixed camera also kind of fucked with you too Because you didn't know what was bought You're like All right so I can only see I can't see what's going on over here And even though your character Realistically would be able to see Exactly what's going

I'm like But then you get moments So you can peer around walls When you're like You don't have that But then you have moments or you could go near a wall and just look around it and see stuff over there. I do that shit.

I know that's peaking in games and I know it's kind of an asshole thing to do, but I do that in every single game I play. You got it. I think that's what's an asshole about it. When you do, when you're playing shooter, like in Destiny. In Destiny and Trials, I used to do that shit all the time where I would crouch and I would do emote. I could see around a corner, see if someone's there. And it's kind of assholeish.

That's a valid, but I would do it. They did get rid of that, though, didn't they? They got rid of it eventually. Why would you do that? That's how I wear my advantage. I mean, that's what I love, like, that's, I loved that, what was it, cyberpunk, like, because in first person, I always, I always criticized, like, the, my limitations, but I like that, like, oh, it's reacting, kind of remind me of Rainbow Sixth, uh, siege, I guess.

Well, it was reacting to, like, the, the corner, like, the way that I'm kind of peeking over. The way that I would, if I was a real fucking person. Oh, yeah, contextual. I wouldn't just go up, get my head blown. I'm fucking like you know and I was like oh that's cool as shit like I like that's all I want I just want more like uh because like a third person's doing okay I can see way more than I should obviously a third person obviously but I like that I can actually hug and then I can shoot I can do things that I that I can do things that I that was one of the coolest things about the original Gears of War to me was um yeah the cover shooting being able to blind fire yeah that was so cool I was like that's that yeah especially if you if you're trying to cover somebody do blind fire and then let them flank. Like that's what you would do. Yeah, it was super cool.

You're not going to pop up in like in movies. In movies when they'll always cover me, then they'll get out of cover. And I'm like, how are you not getting shot in the face? Like, you're exposed. You're exposed, sir. I know you're trying to draw the fire, but you're literally going to get fired.

But dude, Gears is hilarious though. Like gears, Gear's multiplayer. So fucking. Dog, I would get smited. I would get smited. Like,

I had no hope of being good at that game. People would like, because there's like I don't know yeah the cancel the slide cancel it's a fucking cover yeah they would like bounce between walls yeah like I got kind of good at that but like eventually you just you turn the corner and so you're gonna explode

I'd play I'd play I'd play three with the sawed off shotgun that gun was so toxic in three dude online it was like I would fight some guy I would like first of all that's before I like unlocked my ability to play shooting games well so I was like ass

like I'd play Halo I would get fucking talk shit to because I'd be garbage and I'd get like three four good kills and I'd have like 11 deaths. I'd be like I'm so dog shit. I remember my friend Justin in high school like he he got me into gears of war and he would like we would play together and we would do like these these custom match and he was so good at it and it pissed me off because like he just understood he understood something about the sniper that I just didn't understand because sometimes like the headshots don't register or something. Like there's like a specific part that you have to aim at.

And I would like spawn and then my head would vanish. And then I would like, my body would still be standing there. And then it would eventually like slump over. And I'm like, what are you doing? I swear to God he was like hip firing somehow too. Like I don't, I don't get it. He was unreasonably good at that game for modding. Because I was not doing that.

I knew him all up to know that he was not savvy enough to do any of that. It was just like, how the fuck are you doing this man? Some people were just good at that shit. He's good thing. I never had that. I would just get my ass to be. I would get a shot off. I got blown the pieces.

I would get fucking lansed. I'd kill one guy and one guy would come and lands me from my dick up. And I'd be like, I hate this game so much. There were people that were, yeah, they became maniacs in that game. And Chris would, like, every time I'd pocket out his cover, he would just blow my head off. And I'm like, and funny is it, you'd pop out, right? And then your body would just fall and half him behind the walls still. Yeah.

And I'm like, oh, my God. Why am I so bad? Revive me. Revive me. Sold my virginity. Sold my virginity for a luffy sticker, Rodin. Nice.

He says, What is the best piece of IRL advice you got from a podcast or show? I've been using cocoa butter since Derek talked about it on the Stark Tank. Oh yeah. Also, shout out to Derek and Chris

for arguing with people on Twitter. Good shit. There's nothing good about that. It's rare. It's annoying. I don't do it that often. anymore but there was one that like I just I is every once in a while I see something that's just too stupid you have to say so I try to engage with people honestly and then it's just like and nobody

wants to hear it like I had like I was talking about RFK this morning because he was talking about like the spike in autism over like the last like 100 years yeah and he doesn't understand statistics yeah or just like the way that we diagnose it find autism as like severe mental retort like I feel like that's not even the right way I'm saying it is even the right no he's that's what he was describing it is like it was like they're non-verbalt they're nonverbal, they're stumbling. It's like, that's not... It's way deeper than autism at that moment.

That's not autism at all. Like, in some... There's very case, but that... There's a very rare case of, like, you know, when you're talking about, like, the spectrum where there's some people that are... That is... That is so not the norm.

Right. And he's acting like it is or something. He's... He talks about it... They can't buy guns. They can't suck them all things. He talks about it as if, like, that's the case that's, like...

300 times more common, you know, like that's what he's talking about. It's like, it's 300 times more common. He's like, that's not really good. And he also doesn't understand, right? The statistics of like why things have grown exponentially. If you think about like say, oh, here's, here's an easy thing. If you look at the statistics of STIs within senior citizens, like, does that mean, oh, there is an epidemic of actual STIs that are just, they just sprop, they came out of nowhere? or is it that, oh, old people are using fucking Cialis and stuff and they're fucking more.

And so therefore, diseases and older people are spreading way more than they ever did before. Same thing with like autism. It's like, oh, yeah, the percentages are way higher because we now have technology to detect it. Yeah. And so we're way more socially aware to those kind of things. No, but that's what I said. And somebody was like, so you're saying that the chemicals that they're putting in our food is not affecting, and our terrible diet as Americans is not affecting the way that we.

develop and I was just like that's not what anybody said never he didn't see I didn't in fact none of those words were even in my original statement like like people just talk past each other to the point where it's just like there's really no point yeah it's when you get to that point you get you can't art yeah there's certain people because I saw you actually have a conversation with somebody on God forbid are real of oh that guy yeah it's it's beyond what the fuck's that guy uh I don't even know is he called like magas snake I don't even I don't know what we call them. Whatever.

I don't remember. That thing when we were just fucking around. Yeah. There was just really obtuse people just not, just being so unreasonable and you try to reason with them. You will do the very best. You will give them statistics. You will explain everything. And they still refute it.

And you're like, oh, at this point, we can't talk because you refuse to just ignore. Like, there is a, I don't know what it's why people. I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's their, they're, they're mimicking like the, the, the, the, the, punants and the the social media influences that they're listening to. Maybe. Or how they can never admit they're wrong, but they're grifting. So they're obviously not going to admit that they're wrong.

That's the whole point of their grift. But a regular person, there's nothing wrong with being wrong. Yeah. That means you're human. You're like, oh, I got some information wrong. Oh, shit. Yeah, exactly. You just move on.

Yeah, you move on. But these people are acting like the grifters where they're like, they can admit defeat because they will lose money. Yeah, it's like you don't have anything to lose, bud. Yeah. I'm just like, why are you? acting like this. Who do you think you are to think that you always have the correct information? Because I sure is fuck, don't. Yeah. Fucking how many times?

The problem is the fear of admitting you're wrong. There's no there is no, there is no consequence, not like a grifter, right? There is a consequence for continuously conceding that you keep getting information wrong. Then people will start being onto your grip. They'd be like, this guy sucks. He keeps getting things wrong. So you just omit that you that you're right. Exactly. You never admit it. Don't take the videos down. Don't acknowledge it. So, yeah, I don't know. Yeah. So, yeah. I just, I don't know. Best piece of IRL advice I ever got from a podcast or show. I don't, I, nothing's coming to mind. Best piece of advice? A piece of advice or like a trick, I guess. Because he did, he did talk about like,

getting cocoa butter from you. Yeah. That's cool. I'm sure there's, I'm sure there's stuff. I'm sure there's like things that I, that I heard from like TV shows or movies that I was like, I'm probably going to do that. I know something. Oh, yeah? So I, back when I was really into working out a lot, I fell for the, like the supplement industry obviously is fucking crazy. But there was one like, say, so BCAA's blockchain amino acids.

This was something that I thought was a good idea because they exploded onto the market. They're like, oh, get your blockchain amino acids, which is just a few of the nine essential amino acids. It's probably like three of them. But sometimes a supplement might have four. And I thought, oh, this is a good idea. And when someone explained to me, like, on a podcast that if you eat enough protein, like just chicken, whatever, the blockchains are all in there. Plus the other essential amino acids, you know, that make up like the protein that you need to grow and recover and all this stuff.

Most of this shit is like snake oil unless you're like someone who just doesn't get protein enough of it. via a way shake or chicken or meat or whatever there are some people that just don't do that and they should supplement like people who are deficient in certain vitamins and minerals they should supplement and I was like you like thank you for giving this information is very vital to because it is such a waste of money because if you just if you overdo protein at a certain next point it's not going to do anything for you you're going to shit back yeah you've already you're you've replaced

finished your body and you built it up enough and at a certain point it just becomes a waste. And so like getting information like that could be so crucial to not be taken for a ride, I guess and save you fucking money because I thought it was a good idea at first. I was like, oh yeah. Yeah, similar to me. Ben it. There was a podcast that was really homophobic and it taught me a lot about hating gay people. And I just learned a lot.

I just learned a lot from it. I was like, oh man, they really are bad. I appreciate that. God is really going to be upset us when he finally shows up. God's going to cut them down, you know? And then me if I try to help them, so I can't help them. You can suck dong for a long time. Suck-hawk for a long time.

God's going to get me, bro. Fuck you. Good. When I finally admit I'm gay too, it'll be a fucking weird revelation where I'm just fucking serve as a urbrew snake eating itself. You'll admit it when you're on your deathbed. Sooner later, you're going to dig you down. I've been gay to whole time, bye.

That's fucked up All right Let's see We've got Queen Pifi here Right and it says I had two dreams now Within at most two weeks of each other Where I was hanging out with you guys

And I'm disgusted by parisotial behavior Should I stop listening to the podcast And rescind my sub until I'm mentally healed No Give us more money in fact Yeah yeah We're clearly important to you So like we would

Put us all your money, bro Don't fucking pay your bills don't take care of your kids don't fucking buy things or your relatives or your fucking spouse give me all your fucking money dude no I think that's normal like if you spend a lot of time listening to people like they'll creep in your dream

it's pretty normal Parascial behavior isn't necessarily subconscious I feel like parissocial behavior is a conscious thing you know it's just like oh I'm gonna follow I'm gonna like joke with this person as if I'm like close with them or like I'm gonna like

send them DMs You think you know them When you don't Like you don't know those people Right right right Like I can listen like say I've listened to I used to listen to Joe Rogan You know since 2012

And then I just you know Post pandemic it's like okay no No never mind But all them years You think you have a pretty good idea About somebody but at the same time I've never hung out with them I've never gotten

I don't know this person Yeah right And so but if you have a dream If I had a dream about Joe Rogan to be like, oh, I'm consuming a lot of Joe Rogan media and then my brain just concocted some bullshit. I don't feel weird about that. Yeah, dreams are like...

Unless I was fucking Joe Rogan in my dream, then I'd feel a little like, oh, what happened? I've never had a gay game, thank God. Thank God. Why, thank God? Because, I mean, you didn't hear what he said earlier. We got a flaming homophobic. Flaming a little boy.

The lynched... The lynched Mussolini... They lynched Mussolini's life. lifeless body at a Texaco road in. Oh shit. That's insane. That's funny. Salutation's little guys in my bloodstream.

Not a question, but I wanted to say, if Chris says there's a platonic ideal, what the fuck is that? If Chris says there is a platonic ideal of the funniest anything. Oh, I see. I believe that the funniest genocide was the one that happened in Cambodia under Pol Pot. essentially what happened is that they would round up people who were smart, uni graduates, affluent sounding people, even people that just had glasses.

God damn. And just put them down, basically. It came out after the war that they weren't even communists, had never read Mao or anything, and were funded by the United States. The world is an onion article. Yeah. No, I think, I, there is a silliest genocide for sure. But I would imagine that, like, it's probably one that we probably don't even.

know about to be i'm gonna say wacky wacky yeah so like not funny silly yeah wacky to me is like because you know like like a like a like a really crazy clown like you know like that's fucking wacky do that's not like funny uh interesting it's more funny it's more funny it's more it's more my car is the fucking silly no that's great no because i do i do believe i do believe there there is like a platonic, like, I do think there is like a funniest and least funny version of everything that exists. Yeah, okay. Like, just on like a

metric standpoint. Oh, what is the funny? It's a, what a question. What's the funniest genocide? It's like, what's the silliest war? Yeah. And the silliest war, I think, is the one with the, the silliest war, the funniest war is the one with the emus, I think.

Emus? The emus in Australia. That's objectively a funny war. And it is a war. It is a war. People died. This is a, but it is of the grand scheme of like of all the wars that we know about anyway. It is, if any of them were to qualify as like funny, that would be the one that would most be that one. Okay, so what do you think is the funniest burglary that led to our murder a family? Probably one that we don't know about to be honest with it. Yeah, it's too niche. But it's still a funniest version of it. There is a, there is one that is, look, there is one where

you're looking at it. You're like, What the fuck? What the fuck is going on? How did this happen? Right. Like, there's a funniest electrocution. There's a, like, there are. Like, there's a funniest deer being hit by a train.

Did you see Green Mile? With Michael Clark Duncan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the one where he becomes, he's like giant and retarded. He becomes a green mile, literally. Yeah, when he morphs into the Green Mile at the end. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, he's good. What is a mile as a physical object? I just think of like a green road. Like, no, but that's a road. Like that's the green road. Like he,

it's, no, Michael Clark Duncan becomes green and becomes a mile. Oh, so you don't know what he's a mile of something green. Like he's a mile of green Michael Clark Duncan. He just stretches for a mile. That's it.

It turns green. Can you? Can you? Listen, can you fucking imagine that movie is as serious as it is the entire time? That movie is what it is. And then at the end, when he's in the chair, he becomes green and stretches for a mile. And then the title card comes up, the green mile. And then it ends.

No, the title card is a mile long. I honestly think. So stupid. I think I would have, like, died. I think I would have pissed and shit my pants. That would have been too funny. That's my favorite movie at that point. I would be kidding.

That would have been too funny. That would have been, like, like, interdimensional cable, Rick and Morty shit. Yeah, it would. It would be like if at the end of Schindler's list, he looks in his pocket and he goes, oh, my list. I found it.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Who's my list? Oh, there it is. That's what I thought that it was going to be the whole time when I first saw it. I was hoping, like, when is this going to get funny? And my girlfriend at the time was like, never. This is about the Holocaust. And I was like, I mean, you could still have a funny Holocaust.

Oh, it was my list. I think if you just have those like Tom and Jerry sound effects over Holocaust, it'll be a little, that'll solve everything. That is good. Yeah. Yeah. Boink. During the shower, you hear that muffled?

That's so fucked up. That scream is one of the best sounds ever. It's amazing. That's amazing. You do it pretty well. I love it. It's so hurt. Without that scream, I probably wouldn't have liked Tommy Jerry, to be honest.

I would have liked it when I would be the same. thing that like really drew me to it It's like Halo without the music. It's like you might like it but like it helps a lot. Big time. Ben can actually do that scream. Can he really? Like the proper one,

but it takes energy out of him. Yeah, I got to see that. If I do that, I can't make that scream. Like I can do it one time and then that's it for the night. And then he used to cool down for a day.

Yeah. But no, yeah, logically I think they're like Like, I'm not saying that any of these are funny. Anything is funny necessarily. Although the idea of Tom and Jerry sounds, it's wild. Some piece of shit probably did that already. Oh, for sure.

It's on YouTube. It's on YouTube. Someone getting fucking hit shot. You see footage of Mussolini being dragged? There's like footage of Mussolini being dragged. And he's like, yeah. Yeah. And then the thing, the circle, cool.

I'm dead. There are so many things. There are so many things. Like, I don't, for me, I had the trauma laugh, right? You're still thinking about that shit. I'm still thinking. Like, that's crazy. Continue.

Continue. So you have it. So you see something fucked up when you're younger. You either laugh or cry, right? Yeah, yeah. I don't know where that line is anymore for me. That line is completely. got blurred for me where I'm like I don't know where yeah I think I mean some people just laugh when

they're uncomfortable at things like I mean this normal I used to do that but now I don't know if I think it's funny or I'm uncomfortable anymore I think it's a really back home it to the both yeah but should I the should I send you guys on a regular basis the moment I think about it my heart hurts but like then I'm like that was funny but like also that's terrible I don't think you have the terrible thing for the cat in the inward inward inward and Inward. In word. The thing about that is that it sounds innocent.

It is, yeah. You're telling a kid to read something. You're like, read this. What I love about that video of the black cat with that song playing is that the cat looks fucking bewildered. The cat can't believe this is being said to him. Yeah, totally. Like, you're right, it's funny that it's like a child's voice saying a slurs sing-songy and like, like, like, gleefully and there's like an innocence about it, but like coupled with the bewildered cat. The cat's like, what?

What the fuck? Even the cat is like, you shouldn't be saying that, dude. There's another one. I have another one too. I bet you do. I bet you do. I bet you have a lot of them. I have them all saved to my phone.

It's crazy. Of course you do. I don't even remember what the question was. There's an image of Spongru. Something about. Neutral. Or, it just wasn't a question. Yeah, like, just the, the idea of like, holistically speaking, there is a funniest

and there is a funniest version of everything. Oh, right, right, right. Which I do believe on some level. So what happens is that there's these edits to SpongeBob that are, sorry, the SpongeBob edits, right? That there's him like saying he's going to come. He's like, oh, my God, I'm about the, oh. And I send, Lily loves SpongeBob more than you ever met, so I send him to her to make her mad. but there's one I found yesterday that is just this.

That's crazy. Man, they knew what they were doing. That is one of the... I don't know where that moment is in front of all. That's probably like later. And it's probably not like it's probably not like it's probably what do you think it's like like one, two, three. And then that's it pulls a gun out. He pulls a gun out.

It's probably like not. He could have a son for Gary probably. He's in his house. I'm assuming he's grabbing something for Gary. It was like the thing. I see you that one piece thing. Like some people were saying it was Blackbeard. I don't know if you saw it.

Oh, yeah, with the fire. This guy's like, it looks like he's jerking off his nipples. Oh, that's like, keep draft. Okay, hold on. You ever seen it? I don't know what you're talking about. So I guess this is Blackbeard, and he's just going hard on the pan on his lightning nipples or something. I don't know.

What is that? What is that? I don't know what it is. That's the weirdest thing I think of saying. So, fuck it. The, the sound too. Is that a pencil? Oh, my God.

It's a pencil fucking a sharpener. Sure. It's a pencil fucking a sharpener. That's cool. Why do you have that on your phone? That is crazy. He's twisting. It's the twist.

It's the twist. He's doing all the work himself, bro. He's doing the, he's plunging it in and he's twisting. That's crazy. That is fucking outrageous. That's how strong I want to be. Like, and just pick up. McGraw and just like just twister on

yeah this video is really fucked up now here we go are we in the video sharing portion of the podcast some guy in 2020 you keep sending me fucking George Floyd shit

dude they're really fuck I those are the moments where I'm really sad but I have to laugh at the fact that someone thinks that's funny because if I don't laugh I'll cry but you think that's funny

I don't I laugh at the ridiculous He's trying to deny, like, why? It's such a weird thing he did deny. I don't think this man dying for no reason is funny. I'm not saying you thought, I'm not saying that. I'm saying there are jokes about it that you find funny. It's like 9-11.

It's like 9-11. Because 9-11 clearly isn't funny, but there are, okay. So that's weird, but there are clearly jokes. It's funny how we had some information and stop it. One of the funniest things, you know, I've been contemplating posting this. I made a video years ago because I went to New York. in like 20, 18 or 19, whatever. And I bought a Twin Towers little figurine thing.

They sell action figures of the Twin Towers. I mean, there's a lot of action figures. Yeah, you actually. They fall? The only action it did. Yeah, they're like, as crumbling action. But like, I have, I have like a... It really does explode.

Like, it is a grenade. I had like a jet, right? This, like, a model jet. And then, like, I was just like, had this video of me taking the Twin Tower of figure and I'm like and like and then crashing it into the it's like I don't know if I can post this and I just never did that was one of the most one of the most popular

years ago now isn't that crazy it is good I don't want to think about that but that's a half half century the uh that's a half that that's not go go just go it's not a quarter though because quarters are monies so you know what they're called quarters right Because they're 25 cents Yes you know that's a quarter of a century Because like when you take the The horse and you pull the money apart

Yeah you pull the money apart That's how they used to have to That they used to pull What are even talking right now? Like you guys are getting so far off We're talking about change Yeah they how they used to get quarters Is that they would take a dollar

And then they would tie each corner Into a horse And then they would run the horse And then they would turn into quarters And then we turn into quarters And that's how they got it Go to somebody like Can I like some change yet

And go to And then dives and they give it to you. And then if the horse, one of them fucked up and took a little bit too much, they put it down. They would quarter it. They would quarter them. And it would be four tiny horses. It'd be four little horses.

Yeah. That's how baby horses are born. Exactly. You got a take, you got a quarter horse. You got a quarter horse. That's insane. That's real. What the fuck are we talking about?

Oh, yeah. Oh, you know, one of the more famous or one of the more quoted things that, uh, Swedeny and I have ever done, we did that, um, bit where we had the Jenga towers. Do you remember that? Yeah, I mean a Casey Anthony joke, right? I was like... I don't remember that.

But we had a bit, it was like a weird, like a whole animated bit during like a recap that I had with like, I think Lyle and Chris O'Neill voiced in it. I think I used Buntie as like a terrorist. Yeah. And it was just this dumb bit about like teaching people history in a, in a stupid way and I just had like two I had two Jenga Tower set up and I just threw

a fucking ball at it and then it panned over to you and you said that's just plain wrong and then I had the Looney Tunes kind of. Yeah that sounds familiar Yeah, that sounds familiar. But like that's like 9-11's like It's pretty good. One of the least edgings you can think about it. Unless you're still

Maybe you're still maybe you may feel a little bit sensitive. I might get a little yeah I have a little bit of this. Should you admit this? I have at least 12 videos of different angle of the 9-11 crash in my phone. Just in your phone?

Yeah, saved. They're also, there's, there's also, yeah, yeah, saved. That's what

creepy is what you're probably going to say, you're probably going to say that. But, they're also, the N-Words playing behind Elver, as well.

Why? Why do you just put the N-word into everything? Because it just, it helps me, it helps me. It helps you breathe. It helps.

It's my oxygen, nica. One out of, two is fine, you know. You want to hear it? Let's get one more question. Yeah, let's get one more in. Let's fucking speed run the names.

Okay. Here he is. Mr. Hooves wrote in. He says, Hello, Snark, gay cum cast. Nice. You're given the chance to box a celebrity, any celebrity you want.

And if you win, you get all their money. Who are you choosing? I'm beating the living fucking. Oh, easy. Merrill Streep, she's pretty rich. Marryor up. I mean, not even like Joe Pesci or something. Nah, DePich, he's a man.

You may be able to hurt me, but Maryle She can't hurt, but he's a woman. Mm. I'm pretty confident that Meryl Streep could do more damage to Joe Pesci. Yeah, I think I'm pretty, me too, actually. I feel that intrinsically. He's too old and frail. He's tiny, and he's old and frail. I'll try to eat him if he's tiny.

I'll be like, I'll punch him down. I'll be like, um, wow. Just start mauling him and he would shoot me down. What about you? Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, somebody is old and frail is like that little tiny gangster would be pretty good. I'd like the fight you on musta. Either that or probably Scorsese because Scorsese has more money.

So I'll fight for Scorsese. Who is the weakest, richest, richest person? That woman from the old lady from fucking Shark Tank. I, uh... Oh, Barbara from Snark Tank? Oh, yeah. She's kind of respectable, though, but I would, yeah. I mean, they're, they're all fucking...

I'll say, uh, even though he's pretty big, I'll beat the fuck out of Elon Musk. Because it would feel good, too. Yeah, you, you would have, you would have, uh, like, I don't even know, like, motion. Yeah, you'd be more determined to do it. Determined, I would be 100% like my adrenaline. And you're getting money for it too. I'm taking his billions and I get to beat the shit of this guy that so many people would celebrate him getting his ass just fucked. You would, people would hate, you'd be hated and loved.

I'd be hated by the stupidest people. You'd be hated and loved equally. I am completely fine with being hated by the dumbest fucking pieces of shit of human. And now you're a billionaire. Imagine that. That's great. You just smiling after you whoop the shit of Elon. Do you understand how, I feel like I would be assassinated really fast because I would be like,

hey, I'm going to donate all my money to boom. Like, it's just, they're not going to let me try to fix the world. I couldn't be rich. They're not good. I could fix things. Yeah. Did you see that guy that they, um,

when he, I forgot what company he had, but he was like, oh, I'm only going to take $400,000, and everybody on average is going to get like $70,000. So everybody's going to have like a good wage at my job. And then so all these people that, you know, propaganda started coming out about him. Like, fuck this guy. Because he could have been like way lower wages for the workers and then take a way higher cut like they always do. And then something came out of him that he's like, something happened to him.

They got to rent. I don't know if it's true, but it was clear that there was a campaign to shit on this guy as hard as possible because he didn't that idea to fester. They're like, oh, you can survive well by making $400,000 a fucking year. You could be remarkably rich for an insane fraction of what people think of as. Of course. Where the guy is like, he's on the plane, it's like a guy. It's like one of those movies you're going to pull the person.

And he's like, the guy behind him, I think I cured cancer. And the guy's like, oh, man, they're on a plane. Oh, man. He's just like, oh, man. Damn. Bro. What the fuck. Bro, fuck you, you selfish prick

You killed me No, it just goes Yeah It's false Captain Falcon does a spike and smash That happened kind of recently There was like a plane from Brazil That kind of did that basically

Oh yeah, wasn't that a Boeing? Probably I think it literally was Yeah, I think so, yeah My assumption now is that if a plane crashes, it's Boeing Yeah, I can't, it's a wild reputation that they've fostered for themselves But They were like, hey, if I

what do you do? Let me think about So I don't know I don't know if I need like I don't need billions I'm happy with I'm happy I'm happy with modest wealth

And so I think I'm going to I'm gonna box I'm gonna box and kill Dave Franco I was gonna say who I was literally thinking right now Who could I fight that Make you upset

And then to be Allison Bree This is me being a fuck out of her You'd be like Why is one of my best friends Beating up a one of my best friends beating up woman I love. And I'm like, hey, Chris, you see this?

You see this? I killed her because of you. That's so fucked up. Why do you want to beat up Dave versus James? Because Dave is married to Alison Brie. And if I can get rid of him, I think, so you think it's going to be like a, like a, I'll win. I'll win. You usurp the throat essentially.

Yeah, exactly. And that's how it works. They're very in love too. They're like a very cute couple, actually. They are. And I'm like, damn, man. Sorry, dude. I just wonder about him

Because almost every role he's played, he's a dickhead So I'm like, I'm like, is he? I don't know You can be a dickhead and not be a dickhead Well, see, but it's usually, like, when I see a consistent role You would know, right? You're a dickhead too, fucking asshole I know, yeah

I just wonder I'm gonna kill us and britt. You see, this is exactly why I killed that one. Okay, all right, so I understand you want to kill him and usurp the throne, the brie throne. All right, gotcha. Fuck me up

What? I thought that was on your phone I thought this was on the screen Like I thought this was like an image on the screen Like how you break your phone dude All right Let's get the fuck out of here It's cheese right

Yeah Yeah It's about the same way I'm pretty sure too I think so Brie It's that one that has like I don't like that cheese Actually

I don't like I don't like a age cheese man I think that shit's gross I mean I like cheddar mozzarella You got an age Cheddar. It's just not as age. Yeah, not, not egregiously age.

Yeah, you don't like it last super long. I don't like nine month, fucking, well, I don't want my, look, man, I know mold, like penicillin mold is harmless, but still, I don't want to just straight up eat it. Like, Jojo is, she, she... She's European, she's different. Yeah, she's got the... These moldy salami sausages, bro. Like, it's got, like, fucking, you know, the white mold all encased, and then she just

goes to town on it. She was so happy when she went back home to eat all those moldy sausages. news, I never, I didn't know. I love boat. I don't even take a bite of those things. I'm like, I'm good, you give her a little bit of fucking

courage using and she passes out. Oh! Down. Oh! Like, it's hard. I got a, I got a few labor overloads.

I can't do it at all. I just got to feel comfortable doing it. Like so. You got to give something up when you do it. You got to give up a part of you. There is a part. Yeah. You know,

you're like, it's expending a skill point. That's it. You get your stack. goes from 18 to 17. I'm like, oh, that was worth it. That's me was worth it. All right, let's get the fuck out of here.

Let's read our $25 and up patrons over at patreon.com slash a snark tank. Go over there. Hurry up. Don't make me hurt you. Shinsler's inside your walls. I'm inside the walls and I'm never going to leave. I'm Shindler and I have a lisp. Thindler's Lisp.

He's played by Mike Python. Schindler's Lisp is crazy. Yeah. And then he keeps trying to save. he keeps trying to advocate to the Nazi he keeps talking to Nazis he's like hey don't do this and they're like we can't understand

we're really open to every single possible you know all turned up to this but we just can't understand what you're saying If someone grammatically correct told it not to do this we wouldn't do this anymore Please stop it

We're going to keep killing these people Stop it Is that like a way of hitting them harder? I don't understand let's do it Is that a different kind of gas Stop Stop is that like a like a bop

kind of like a Cyclone C is that like Concentrated B Is that what that is? He makes it He makes it What the list

He's making it way worse Like he's like Set these people free And then they hear For some reason It's like A couple more Million you said

We were gonna stop At this lawyer Yeah We just really don't like This guy That was really annoying Oh just go get them all No theory

Stop it And continue In radical fashion Oh no I fucked up. I thought the Holocaust That is a wild

That's a wild I went back in time and I made the holocaust worse That's the plot Mike didn't make it a Holocaust Mike Tyson Went back in time

Was like I'm gonna stop Hitler in the Holocaust And he makes it way We live in that reality We live in that reality We live in that reality This is what the reality

It was supposed to be Maybe 100 people died This one turned into millions And then this motherfuckerer is just like Living He just gave up after I was like, oh, I'm just going to age back up and live my life because I'm really... I guess so. I'm just going to age even though that doesn't make sense for how old I am right now.

I'm only in my 50th right now somehow. I'm going to fight a little boy for no reason. Yeah, I got to fight a little bitch. Hopefully I killed Dick Paul. All right, read the names. If he killed it, I would be so happy. If he killed them, I'd be... I want someone to die in a ring, but also, like, I know that's more...

I feel like he's the perfect person. He gets hit like twice. Who, Jake Paul? Yeah, because like, at the end of the day, nobody would really... be sad other than his family. Yeah, I don't know him to get hit once and start crying and know he's going to die. He cries.

And then gets hit one more time. It would be like the day. It would be like the day. It would be like the day that. You were so fucked up. Holy shit. It'd be like the day Onesion dies. Oh, yeah.

Like, I don't think anybody's going to be like. There's not going to be like a ripo. And he's like, no. It's like, oh, okay. Yeah, he's dead. That sucks. Whatever. Uh, so $25.

coloring up patrons. Let me get a countdown. Wait, so hold on. You count me down. To count you down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll count Derek down. Derek counts you down and then you count me down. Perfect. Right. Sure. Exactly. Three, two, one. Three, two, one. I lost count. Start again. Three, two, one. One, two, three. Go. Go. Sold by Virginia for a loopie sticker. Chris is, Chris on his deathbed. All right, let's get the fuck out of here.

Kingston curb stomping a baby with links iron boots. Damn. What the fuck? Bad thratch Ben Benzilla's big blue bouncy bazingas. Oh, Maitreepenzia. Is that what you're trying to say? That's what the fuck was that? It's Batriarch Benetia.

Oh, so that's somebody's part? Yeah, Baytiar Benzia. It's like a Dutch is saying anything. Patriarch Benzia. Oh, I didn't make that connection Matriarch Are you going to come for me Patriarch

With the big bosoms I have dix I have Dix Zesia I'll just call it Dick Lexia Yeah Nice Drink me some bum See me some bleach boy

And free my soul I want to get tossed in your fucking hole Uh the Kiwi who sent Drink me some bleach boys Yeah drink me some beach boys And then free my soul That's been pound my hole It should have been pound my hole

Yeah I want to get covered He's talking about like killing himself And then getting fucked Is that it? Drink me as a pretty morbid Fuck my hole That's a wild

The Kiwi who spent the last six months Bidgin a snark tank podcast And now has a golf size hole In his frontal lobe Baving in Pirel For a marathon of sex with Tally Zora Gay Allison Chains be like Into my butt again

Same old dick which called in my rear end The Silver Spencer And the You keep on I'm asking about the email Okay The silver spermer

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Me Spit is my homepage Roundite Asian Fun fact Scrumbunculus Creator of the many famous Ugandan Knuckles VR chat moments is also an experienced third uh third furry porn way 3d furry foreign anime porn animator yeah how his vainy dick inside me chip his viny dick and me chip uh chip

chip uh chip sky cart i feel like that what is that's not okay what the fuck what are you seeing what game is that i'm i'm not sure because i'm just yeah i think that's uh that game with that uh That's Black Ops That's uh That's uh zombies Oh Scooby roguer scoby roguer scooby riggers Ripper Reds and ruin

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I ain't hanging out with a bunch of gooners like Valerie in the dead Discord chat Blair White canonically banging Alex Jones Derek don't watch the current one Derek don't watch the current one piece anime Netflix is making a remake a better animation and no filler

Jay Z for the Japanese for the JPI I'm Jay Z's and the Japanese the second coming of Miguel Harris Transfan Pussy rotating Miguelo Harris Transmack pussy in my mind Like a rotissory chicken

To flex on people that can't visualize A fucking app Apple Is this app? I just know I just know that meme It's like you can't visualize an apple Elon gig dick

Musk in my mouth Death The Shadow of Epstein Tree To the tune of Ducktails But fuck Sploge Jack the worst fast is Mayori Sween

How does it feel To be the best black driver of all time. Lewis Hamilton, the British question is a British quay. I don't know what that means. I'm not the best about driver all the time. Big meaty stinks. My dick's so long. What you go? After tie in a not to suck it. That's crazy.

Andy the man who's, uh, handies are eight tier, but not as dandy. Mr. Hooves. Uh, Marvin straight, heterosexual healing. Heave smoker, Gids. Marvin Street. Rubbing icy hot on my nick shaved and way more. I'll say out of my fleshly shaved and Nick. penis and balls Jordan Basketball Peterson

Night Ops Lil Niggie Uh Fishin Fis shind Uh You have any trouble Uh

Oh my God I'm reading FD signifier Fucking with the dreads Like fucking with his dreads Like an octopus I was reading it For I was reading it for what it was actually Ding and not saying the person's name

Because FD and his name is capitalized So that's why I was I was like, oh, it's not FD signifier. This is actually someone trying to make me read an FD and S sound together. Huh, well. Well, you're talking about what you just said. Yeah, for this. For dissonant fear?

Wave dashing at dirty mouth. Signifier. Did you know that it stands for fat dick? That makes sense, bro. He's a big guy. He's a big boy. He's probably got a fucking wide one. Wave dashing at 30 miles per hour in the death of night.

Kevin Durant's feet, Iron Maiden Trooper, you fuck my ass, but I'll fuck yours too. I'll suck you off to my face is blue. Mr. Pants, Aiden Ross needs to be put down to prove, wait, what to go? For proof, look up Aiden Ross fascism. Baller in the first sin. All right, Derek. Bro, bro. Hey, bro.

I don't know what's going on, bro. He's just a young, dumb kid that ended up being rich and famous. I just want him to give me his money. That's all. He's a little He's a dumb kid That's it man I don't really hate him too much

As he's this young and stupid And that's what being young is Especially when you're I brought a bunch of guests I wouldn't give it I feel like you excuse Too many things with youth Yeah

Because like we've all been young No the thing is we all been young right But none of us were famous None of us were rich Yeah but I wouldn't I wouldn't be a dumb cunt like that though That's true But what happened is that he got

You get in when you're When you're content creation On when you're doing streaming Yeah Being stupid It gets you. That is true. You get rewarded for it.

I do think that's accurate. I do think you do have a financial incentive to actually genuinely not learn anything new. I don't care that he's... Well, no, that's literally... I don't necessarily care that he's dumb. It's just that he's a fucking asshole. Because there's so many dumb streamers I've never heard about and I never will. Yeah.

They're just staying in their lane just being stupid. But his fucking demeanor, the way that he like acts, like, and he tries to act like he's tough. And that, like, oh, I'm going to go pal around with these fucking... What about the Manosphere? Like, fuck, get the fuck out of here, dude. In Ross is not a tough person. He's a little pussy. I don't think Speed is a bad kid, but I think he gets paid to act a fool.

Yeah, he pays him to do that, you know? I get that. So it leads to worse habits than you because at that's the age, especially when you're supposed to be fucking figuring out your moral. I don't care. I don't care to humanize Ian Ross. Yeah. Like Speed, I don't have the same disdain. You know, I just think he's an idiot, but I don't like, I don't load.

He's not like a load. He's not extremely problematic. Exactly. He's just a kid. He did yell at a baby, and that was pretty well. So what? So what? He did do that. That baby's probably racist now. Yeah. They want something. He just sees like a black figure.

Now the baby, Edward, Inward, Inward, Inward, Inward. Cardboard Pie. Spumbo Futter is Secret Gay Sex men. Secret Gay Sex men. Secret gay sex man. He's probing round men's assles with his penis and his hands. That's great. Jolly old dipshit, they done turned white panther woke. Cyper, white panther, Cyper grab, freak mob.

I think a white panther was the character at first. Oh, man, he's black now. They made Lucas Cage black. What in Torn nation! You imagine? Look, Caj's always black. Yeah, you're a rendition, boy. You used to be, that used to be Colosses, boy.

I know who that is now. They just put him in Harlem, wokeified him. Naping up his damn hair and gave him a wrecker. Goddain. How do you think that's hair? He used to. He used to have hair in his old shit.

He cut it. Yeah, he had a tiara, remember. God, I don't remember that. Yellow shirt, the tiara. I know that. I always know the yellow shirt, but I just can't remember my hair. The fucking guy.

Like Sailor Moon? I'll show you. Yeah. It's stupid. Are you serious? I don't even remember old. I don't remember. old Luke Cage. This is Black Panther?

It actually would make more sense to me. Yeah, kind of. Because it's like royalty. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it would make more sense for another a tiara. Luke Cage is just some guy. He's some fucking guy. He'll be shot if he had a fucking t-uhary. You'd get it? Would it work though? Would it work? Oh, that's true. Oh, yeah, I guess so. Yeah. He probably has been oh. I think it was cool, honestly. I mean, it's not as bad as like, I wouldn't

describe it as a tiara though. It's a headband technically. I know what you're saying. Yeah, but When I think of Tiar, it's like saying, it's almost like calling a regular egg a Faberge egg. You know what I mean? Yeah. So goddamn different. You're like, give him one of the Fabrizreys from the fridge. He's a black man later. This is a black man.

He's before he had like some sort of like. They literally were like, let's make it, let's make a black superhero. It's like, it's just making a black guy. That's this whole thing. He's just a black guy. I think he was a person. Then he turned into fucking. He was a Persian?

Yeah, he was a Persian. He's just. Insert my uncle. Hey, yo. You know what's crazy? You know what's crazy? I got to a, I got into a car accident with like a friend of mine who was, who was Persian, and he, like, he's split in half. Uh-huh.

Split in half on a pole and he was just full of rugs. Your friend was rugs the entire time. That's my friend was rugs. That's not playing a person a whole time. Now, when the police got to the scene, that's every person is that they're just rugs. They're just rugs. They're just rugs. Okay.

That's what I wanted to know. Were they understanding that, oh, that is a person man. The princes are rugs. No in between. Now, I'm very curious about my friend Muhammad. Yeah. I'm like, are you, I want to cut them open and see what happens. Oh, and then like a lace comes out.

Like a thread. It's like that scene in Spider-Man. It's like that scene in Spider-Man where he gets the cut on the arm. Yeah. But there's no blood, it's just fabric. It's like sack boy. A fucking tiny rug falls on his arm. It's on the blood.

It's a rug. It's a little rug. It's a tiny rug man. It's like one of those samples that you'd like feel to like make a decision on a rug. I've got to leave. I got to go. Better and leave him quick. He's a rug.

So Peter Parker is Rugman. He's a red man. Persian Parker. He's just. Talking to the mask in the mask. Peter Ray is not Persian at all, first and foremost. That's his middle name, Peter, Peter Persian, Parker. Isn't it Benjamin?

I don't fucking know. I think so, yeah. Patterson Parker. Hello, my name is Peter Parker. Hello, my friend. I am Peter Parker. Go! I've seen that movie so many times.

I know exactly how he says that. La. The summer is nearly gone and still no Bunti. Oh, right. What happened? Because I think Bunti said that he was going to try to come through or something. Oh, yeah. Wasn't that years ago?

No, it was this year. No, no, no, no. It was this year. I'm going to contact him. Because he's like, he's doing like super well. He's getting all jacked. Yeah, yeah. He's got in really good shape.

He got married and everything like that. He's been fucking beating his girl. Sick, dude. Savage. I was like, he puts it on display in his stories. I'm like, dude. That's that's trills Just holding her up

Like fucking Akuma does that He beats her by and I finds his Bruce wife Sponsored content Yeah So it's pretty good I want him to yeah He has been up so

Yeah tell me Hey nigga you gotta come through Like Gotta have him We gotta have Jalen on for sure Yeah We gotta have Mick We said I had Mick

Yeah dude It's crazy Yeah I always feel like Micks just so busy Nick You niggas just need to ask man Just fucking I mean if we ask him

If we ask him He would be like Yeah I can fit a day Where I can come Yeah, when he has time, which is fine, right? Like, oh, yeah, I think this day I'm not doing anything. How does that work for you guys? The problem is that whenever I see him,

no one's ever not doing anything. Well, someone's always really doing something. What happens? Whenever we see him, we're just hanging out. It's not talking about anything about work. It's the opposite. Every time that I've ever hung out with him, he's been, like, taking a break from,

like, it's usually him, like, taking a very quick break. Right. You know, I mean, he's just a work. He's just a workhorse. Think about this way. There's like all those, yeah, okay. What I'm just like, some of the most, some of the most busiest people in the world

that have a thousand businesses and all that stuff, they'll be like, all right, for my friend, I'll take an hour. I'll take an hour real quick. You'll be autistic for me. Well, basically,

because we're hanging, our show is hanging out. That's true. That's true, yeah. So the same thing with Lyle. I actually feel bad because he's asked me like three times already, like, let's jam.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just like keep. I feel like I saw Lively this weekend. I just not sleeping well, so I'm always like. Have we seen Lauer recently? We saw Lill last weekend, right? I get lunch with him sometimes.

I think the last time I saw him was maybe like a week or two ago, though. We saw him at Vives, or not Vives. I mean's. Yeah. Okay. Fagg-Tastic 4 featuring Mr. Fantastic Dick and Dr. Goon. Hunter Dubois, don't give him his jacket. Don't give him his jacket.

Cammas jacket Rape them right now These are my trading cards They're so cool I've got a Charzard 9.8 condition Did you see that he's selling the trading cards now?

Oh yeah I think this is a second rendition Yeah yeah so like So they're $99 a pop They're digital And if you buy 15 of them You get one real one Yeah

Yeah So for $1,100 you can get a real card With like a piece of his suit His suit sewn into it The second time So I think this is the suit When he whipped

Biden's ass in the debate It was the debate suit. But to me, I'm like, why wouldn't you sell the assassination? Like, the assassination suit is the one that you saw. Well, that's the thing that I... Maybe that's the next one. I am so... This is the shoot that I was shot in the ear,

and they tried to rape and molest my ear, but I made it. I was so cool. I was so cool. And you could have a part of my little suit here. So weird that that's literally how he talks. He's like, oh, yeah, it's something, man. I think you really... I think it's really something.

His hair looks insane now, dude. I mean, what is it? It always look kind of dumb, but now it's like... I just want him enough. His hair looks blurry. Yeah. I think he would... Like it's out of focus.

If he shaved his head and grew a beard, I think he would win so easily. Because, like, it would make him be so hard. Yeah, the hair hurts him. It does. In some way. He doesn't have a rugged appearance at all, though. He looks just kind of silly.

I think somebody photoshopped him of how they think he would look if he didn't do all the dumb shit. He looked kind of hard. Well, the thing is... I would be surprised by that, honestly. Like, I just feel like... Like, because even that happened kind of recently with, um, what is it? You guys know red litter media?

you know um uh j like he cut his hair like he has like a like i haven't seen he he has like a military kind of buzz cut now and he looks no you're right he looks there's like memes about it like he looks like he looks like this is like punished jay you're right because he looks so much tougher it's crazy yeah because he would have it all nice and like kind of yeah he'd have nice hair yeah you know but now it's just like the whole punished fucking the punished era i mean it looks like a punished version of fucking oh fucking well blame fucking cogenio what you want to fucking what people do it is honestly like dude his His impact is wild.

Yeah. God damn it. Punish Kojima. Punish Kojima looks like, I don't know. Riu? Like Ryu? I guess. I don't know.

He just looks like. Ryu's stoic, right? Yes, yes, he is. He's very, very much so. Pantera, the seed, the cream can't waste a drop. Your sperm, it's making us fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking homo. I didn't say in the thing. Sorry, guy.

The bone in boneless chicken Liz Asparagus Binging Pist dealer Smitchie the kid The EMT forcibly administering Extrident to Old Men Help me, I'm stuck in a well 9-11 is the 7-11

Full of Monkeys I've got two dicks And I'm not afraid to use them She'd Pipkin on my pippa Poopie possum Barenecks part of a complete breakfast Love it Oh by the way

I found the I did I thought it was Snapchat, but it's TikTok, the voice distorted. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it is TikTok. So you, like, record your voice and then you put the filter on and make it like this. So I made an RFK video yesterday. Just like a... On TikTok?

Or you made it and then you put on Instagram. And then I put it on... I put on Twitter because just to address his disillusion fans. Yeah, yeah. You know, just to let it know, like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so fucking... Well, the fucked up thing is how much it actually sounds like him. My brain is being slow.

Slowly digested. By several sandworms from doom. There are sandworms in my brain. Check this out. Shahaloods in my head. I know some of what's good in the Jews. I'm so far. I'm disappointed in me endorsing Donald Trump.

But half of my brain has been eaten by a worm. So what did you expect? Make America healthy again. We want bare necks and pigeon calves on every child's played in school. And no more vaccines by the evil Fauci. You know what's crazy? I'm like, that's not that far off from the actual... Somehow not that far off.

His family was shitting on him, dude. All the younger family... They hate him. This nigga's dumb. They hate him, dude. I think it's literally from a place of concern. It's like a concern. Like, this is our stupid relative.

It's not his fault necessarily, but like he's not fit. for what he's trying to do, stop enabling him. Yeah. When he chose, when he chose to endorse Trump, they were like, you're an embarrassment

to our fucking family. You 100%. And you are so disrespectful to the fucking last name you have. And I'm like, yeah. I mean, John was doing good shit.

No, I'm just saying, the prior to John was Wally. I'm just saying, I'm just saying, there are a lot of Kennedys that aren't related to him. The last notable Kennedy

was shot. You know, like, and it was J. FK, it wasn't the other one. So, like, it's been a while, like, the idea that, like, oh, this, this family is so important. Like, not really. Not really.

I know, I understand that's not what necessarily people are saying, but, like, it's weird that people are even paying attention to them. Well, in American media, it is the closest thing to the royal family that we had. As far as, but as far as, like, yeah, right. But, like, as some, as a family being important in America, like, really, who else is there? I mean, what are you thinking like a really important family? You know, it's crazy? The Lowe's. The low, oh, actually, yeah, actually.

I mean, that is, that is very true in a modern sense. They're more global. They're more like, but they're from here. Well, no. But they're from here. So they're. Yeah. Well, they're not from here. Whoa. You see there's a dead.

He has to lift his hand out of the table. They're not real. Oh, whoa. You're brown. Like, wrong. Hears are standing up and shit. I become the green. It's fucking

What if that was what the Hulk was? It was just like a mile long Michael Clark Duncan. I think, yeah. Markle Clark, Markle Clark, Glockin. And Angola

Markle Clark Duncan. My name is, oh, we're going on long. Dulk. Dulk. Is that what he says? It's,

look, is that his catchphrase? It's the Dincredible Dulk. Dulk! Dulk! Fuck you, man. Hulk or Simpson? Let's see.

He does become Hulk in one episode. Oh, he does. That's actually a good episode. It's like one of the later ones, but I actually enjoyed it episode. He gets so mad. Because Stan Lee's like, he's not the Hulk. I am. And he rips his shirt.

And then like, the comic book guy's like, yeah. And he's like, but I did it once. Like, he's so sad. He actually believes the Hulk was his funny bit. I fucking love the Simpsons. Waste Hulk ever. Oh, he starts like, he goes in the comic book story. He starts covering everything with Marvel Comics.

Yeah. He fucking shoves a Hulk in the Batmobile and ruins Millhouse's fucking Batmobile. I want to see, I want to see a, uh, an official clip of The Simpsons. I want to see comic book guy walking out of, uh, walking off of the Lillity Express, walking off of Jeffrey Epstein's plane saying best flight ever, ever, which is very, uh, accurate. I'm pretty sure you would do that. Okay. He's got a wet face.

I hate how much, I hate how much I turned into the combo guy. You? Yeah, you are the combo guy. Yeah. You pedophile. I'm. Um, what? I mean, we literally just got done discussing him getting off as to the real one.

Not the fucking variation. You literally, you did not differentiate. That's crazy. I mean, you're, this was canonically established, like, just seconds ago. Just now he made it real. And then you were like, man, I'm so much like this guy. Just like me.

Yeah, what's Simpson? Yeah, you're the kind of guy. I would definitely be, no, no, no, I'd be the Mexican guy just like a B. Do you be the bumblebee man? I hated that character. I love him. I love them. It bothered the hell of me because I was like, what is this?

It was just, this is the most out of place thing. It was just like, he didn't fit. He was just Mexican television, man. I love it. It was so funny because he was, he might as well have been,

he was supposed to be the big guy. He got the freaking dude from, um, a chapalano. I don't know what it is. That big guy might as well have been claymation for how well he fit into that shit. They were like,

we're not going to give people colors in this game. We're going to make everybody yellow, but it's like, then you have black and brown people. You got niggas. Black and brown people. If you think about it, there's no more...

If you think about it, there's no more anti-white piece of media than The Simpsons because they specifically exclude white people. They really should somebody... There's really only that guy

with the bone. Aren't they're Asian people? Aren't they're Asian people straight up in a series too? Absolutely. And they're yellow. They're actually... Wider.

They're actually wider. Yeah. It's actually kind of funny that they do that. The kind of... Which is actually kind of very racist. They palette swapped. I feel...

It's kind of crazy. I mean, they did, though. You know what they did. But I feel like they've definitely had the idea of that at first. And then they were like, let's just make other people. And they were like, oh, we were not to do this. Yeah, they fucked up. They should have did it like, Hey, Arnold.

Not sorry, Doug. Doug. Because Doug, they were all in different colors. There was different colors now. But Doug was white. Doug was fucking Caucasian for sure. He's the main character. I just defeated my own argument.

Your main character has to be white and your best friend has to be black. That's how you have to be black for real. That's how he became successful. That's helped for you too, dude You were like, oh my You hopped onto my train You were already there But definitely helped

Nope having a black best friend Without having a black best friend It couldn't have happened It wouldn't have got as good It's how it works man You gotta have a black side man Yeah, the universe wouldn't The universe wouldn't have accepted it

And I'm like nope Oh man They're like all right Jalen's good But we need something That's a little more goofy Well Jailen was just a real real person With an actual life.

Sweeney at that time was just sort of lingering. I was around, bro. It worked, man. Yeah, it worked. It's like, all right, Tom Sweeney, boom, it's gone. It's on. Tom Sweeney, he is now the side kid. I used to take your food and fuck with it.

I remember I had a burrito once, and I was threatening to throw it on the ground. And you were just so genuinely dejected. Wow, that's... I didn't do it. I wouldn't have actually done it. All right, let me finish it. It's not true.

You wanted to do it. I did not want to do that. Are you kidding? No way I'm hanging out with the boon. I would never waste burritos. Never waste burritos. ASMR, but, unless it was a breakfast burrito. True. You're insane.

You got a lot of people angry about that. Yeah, I know. You're dumb. Yeah, yeah. There are people in there. Yeah. I just, I don't know. I just, it's not a breakfast thing to me.

Yeah, there's something about tortillas just are, feel very lunch dinner oriented. I don't know. They're not very breakfast oriented to me. Yeah. You know, I just grew up around a lot of, you know, filthy. That would make sense, yeah. Filthy. I'm not, you know, I won't say that.

I won't finish it, but you understand. Yeah, yeah. Rhyms with Texicans. Yeah, Mexican food is. Mexican food also wasn't It wasn't really a Texan Is that just a Mexican from Texas? Literally

Literally that I feel like Yeah I don't know Mexican food just isn't big in New York really Yeah not really You get like a there's like a Mexican place every now and then Okay

ASMR but it's just you three making your most disgusting Wet mouth noises Wet mouth Wet mouth noise. Three hours of this wet mouth noise. And that. Pouring water on the mic just destroyed it. But for some reason it's audible water.

Like very audible water. It's like a folly artist. Okay. I would, whoa. I would suck Sidney's eggs out of her uterus like Boba T. Yep.

There you go. British people come then be like, what's all this then? I fall asleep to N-word compilation. Devin is pregnant Congrats I show speed Join the IRA

That's true Listen to Anne Hathaway Say the N-word singing Tupac's How do you want it? That's awesome That's awesome That's awesome really I want to say that

And Hathaway was one of those people too It was like weirdly like cartoon pretty Yeah She had like the big eyes Yeah I actually I didn't I didn't really care about her until I saw her breast in something And I was like I didn't care of this woman until I saw her breast

I was like, oh, I kind of like Ann Hathway. That's not a fucking Arivirt, but, um, yeah. She's broke. She's, uh, she's aged well. She's definitely aged very, very well. Very, very well. Yeah. Transfim Gremlin, you should. She's like not young.

He's like in her 40s now, I think, pretty much. She's like, she has to be older than that. Who knows? Probably late 40s? Who knows? I literally have no idea. Yeah, look at, look it up. Anne Hathaway.

She was like 17. Look out, look up Ann Hathaway naked age. Yeah. Yeah. I got a bookmark. But I was doing Anne Hathaway breast because I don't remember what movie that was from, but she's naked and something. I was like Anna Hathaway. I respect her. I think that was Osmosis Jones.

She's 41. She's only 41. She's not that old. Osmosis Jones? Well, also, she was like maybe like what, like 15 when? She doesn't have been so young. Yeah. She was young. I just kind of assumed that she was like, I don't know, early 20s?

She's from Brooklyn. Holy shit. She's done my hoodie hood. That makes sense. She saw him the hoodie. hood, that's why she said nigger.

I mean, yeah, she probably grew up saying nigger. Yeah, of course she did. She probably said it around her black female friends and they were like, say it more. She was like, I guess.

Say it more. Yush. Michael Jackson, Mama say, Mama say, Mama'sa, mama's, molested child,

allegedly. It's so hard. Yeah. That's a, such a scratch. Mama se mama's a molester child. Because, well,

it's because he actually, he put in an extra syllable. I shouldn't be there. So it should just be, Mama say, Mama say, mama saw, molester child. child. It shouldn't be mama say, mama's

ma. He put you in an extra ma in there. But I get it. Craig the Canadian. You know what, know what you're gay. And when you're gay, you're gay, and you are always gay. That's not for me to read.

Oh, okay. So she was, I mean, that doesn't really help me. When you say that, there's a movie. 23 years. years ago. So 23, she was like 16. 16. Holy shit. Wow. That's kind of nuts. She was young. I remember her being like way young.

Yeah, I mean, I just, I don't know. I just didn't think about it. Metallica. And the jizz still stains me. So stroke it until it creams. Good job, sir. I have been washing my hands since 2015 fires put themselves out how now when I reach for them. 3XO nutting on a girl's forehead and then smearing it to the

Smaring the tip Wow, I'm not fucking reading well right now The Serra-the-tip of it His dick while saying Simba With vitriol Colton Saladino fucking sucks Pa blah blah blah blah blah blah Just a bunch of peas

And then and then pussy All right yeah Slurping stroking smoking joking Amurkan going like this Drip emits insulting Kingston and Jamaican Hachtwa Sweetie's Grandma beating him to death

With his sledgehammer For saying the N-word Queers of the Stone Age be like I'll swallow your flow Let me lick your balls and your hole How many sledgehammer They're hesitant? I'm sorry

How many sledgehammer hits Do you think you can endure? 18 I think maybe 18 18? 18. I'm out

Depends 18 on my foot Hoping once you blow me I beat him off sucking his penis just to show that I'm gay. Gremlin of Gremlin, that rotten old Jimmy Dick, evil swing says I love the gays. We're on the last page.

Should I kill it or you want to take it? I'll think it. All right. Like, what are you, like, what happens? Like, if you come hit you a sledgehammer and you catch it, like you catch the sledge, and you just guide with it. Is that possible?

Like, how does that? What do you say? What do you say? The sledgehammer you, right? Yeah, it's coming at you. And you've guided it. You know, guided you out of the road. There's only one queer left.

No more Esler. No more questions by EasyE. Put your head on my shoulder. What is this? You somehow can... Put your cock in my asshole. Nice. Pin me with your arms.

Homo. How's written? Wage Slate 583. Pippini Brothers Imporium presents... Prapini Brothers Presents Vagita's Galactic Food Review Channel. But you're doing a food review channel is awesome That would be great

Thank you for tuning in today We're going to be going over Red Beads and Rice And fiery chicken fries Now I've seen everything Dude I would love some chicken fries My asshole Mediterranean fries

With some chicken and some fucking lettuce Oh some pickled celery So chicken fried steak They have a They fried the steak and chicken Yes I hate I hate Southerners sometimes.

Yeah. All the time. They'll just like chicken fried, chicken fried blank. Chicken fried water. Basically. You're not chicken fried water right now. They took the idea of a schnitzel, right? And then they just played it.

You said schnitzel. Well, that's what it is, right? A schnitzel? So, like, they took the idea and then they're like a snitzel, which is like a lot of times, like, just a chicken patty, a fried chicken patty. So they're like, oh, it's chicken fried. And then they applied it to everything. Yeah. Oh, so chicken fried chicken.

And I'm like, where's the sledgehammer? Like, like, I want to hit somebody. He's like chicken. Chicken fried chicken. At that point You chicken fried steak And chicken chicken fried mayo You gotta

You gotta put the batter on the mayo At that point At that point you have to take You have to pick them up And fuck them like that pencil sharp barren You're hoping to get up this Big old Texan With a tip of a hat you're

Oh what do you doing? All you're doing, boy Oh my Lord! You're giving him You fucking straight with a kid Crest of Nazareth This kind of feels good You're fucking straight through his pants.

You just ripped through his pants. You just fucking everything. You're, you, you, you fuck through his pants, but you're pushing the pants further and further into his asshole to the point where there's a full pair of jeans in his asshole. Yeah. The entire thing in his ass. Oh, my lord. There's only the very end of it. He has to pull it out of his ass.

I'm all denimed up. You know, well not bad at the end of the day Honestly Pulling his pants I've had tougher shits Eating fucking 20 ounces of steak Every other minute

Every other bit So every other So for a half hour Every hour Basically For a half hour He's not an hour He's not an hour

Huh For half hour every hour he's not eating steak. Right. So is it, is it accumulating while he's eating the steak? No, no. So he eats 20 ounces every other minute.

So one minute he eats 20 ounces. One minute passes. He's digesting it. Then the next minute he's eating 20 ounces of steak again. He eats the whole fucking thing. Then for one minute he's like, he looks like he looks like he's full. He's like, and then the next minute. when he shits he's gonna die

when he's shit just like and then so when he had to go and then he's shitting at these he's at he's at he's a minute will pass and then he has to eat more steak as he's shitting there's a steakhouse with toilet seats as the fucking seats so he's just

they're shitting and eating 20 out steaks and that's why getting pants shoved up his ass isn't that bad it's like it's like it's like it clogs the shit it kind of just scared me it broke me out of my habit of even maybe I don't have to eat six every

Don Dr. Jason listen to hit my spot by your pretty hands down one of the best version of all gay songs I've ever heard no you gotta pay the troll tolls again the voice hole gate six how do people not get that just nutting in your hand and then fastballing that shit into the nearest toilet is the true way fastball special it's crazy it really is wild it's a sphere like he throws it up our mom

moment it just grows. I want long shlong silver to dig in my treasure island. Why not? Cummies, imprisoning me all that I see. Absolute whiteness. Halo, but it's me coming into an electrical saga. Me be fishy. Arthur Morgan's PR manager. Nate Higgers. I'll carpet bomb the Gaza Strip for a quarter.

John Strickland, my partner snapped the chair legs off my Chris Reagan, U-2s, and proceeded to tear my legs off in self-defense. Merck's 1889. I put the fun and funeral. Step wrong and see. CXD Um The first surgery David presents lit

My own my own worst sodomy Can we forget about those dicks I sucked When I was drunk Second Trague David Feattingy David Pira's Pred your cheeks so I can hit your So I can shit in your ass Blake 896

Chris trying to read like Pappapapha hot to go to the polls Um I'll ask you know if you'll feel trash Texas state or salad Young Sheldon drowned in a lake of Piss, Sue Hulk, tickle my ass here, as Nikki Jizzy, formerly known as Nicky Ziggy. Gambits come-filled eyes, honestly, on God, for real.

For real, congrats to Sween on losing weight. Good shit, man, keep it up. Sorry, Miss Jackson, badly, brave, hugger, Derek, duck-cunt, etherean, brogerian, punter, Nefram. Melfis won, busted my hands again last week, but the doctor-dice was too tempting. And rounding out, rounding out our list, as always. Literally. The king. A bab as L.

Avap as old. Do you think it's worth it fucking rogue? I just don't see a problem Like why not just You you you unzip your Your fly put a condom on your completely shield And then you fuck rogue I really don't see an issue

All it takes is one Because think of it like this right You're such a vulnerable position If you're fucking her and somehow you make contact You're gonna end up falling on her And then you're gonna die She's at the edge of the bed on her back Right

What you would have to do You'd have to wear a full body condom But you don't be, look, if you take your penis out of your zipper with your pants on and put a condom with your condom is still going to, like, you're completely protected. I don't understand. That seems like so much stress to deal with in a situation. Does it though? You don't, because it's, I don't want to think about potentially, like, immediately dying while I'm having sex. Yeah.

Because like a, a minute wouldn't die. They lose their, they'd have their energy drain first. And then, like, a regular person, you'd probably get like one touch. You'd be like, oh, I really got a woozy. I didn't have one more. It's done. I feel like I'm comfortable enough Because like, or careful enough is what I meant

She'd have to sit on the bed She'd have to be bent over her pussy and ass Hanging just off the bed Just her pussy and ass Hanging right off the bed Maybe a fucking, maybe three inches off the bed, right? Then I'd have to have a condom inside my pants already I put my hard dick, I put my condom through my pee hole

They put my dick inside the condom through the pee hole And then I'd have to fuck her. Look Good night, folks.