The Snark Tank - #274: We're Still Mourning

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

sighMERCH: http://www.snarktank.shopPatreon: https://patreon.com/TheSnarkTank

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Look at that little crosshair He's got Look at that little tiny blue fucking orb of lightning That he has This skin destroy the whole world You see that fucking shit I will destroy the whole world

With this We're having camera problems obviously Yeah welcome to the Star Tank podcast Look at now we're on the surface of Yeah A white dwarf star Kingston's meditating How are you doing? How are you doing there?

How are you doing? How are you? You pull out a bath Welcome to the Starg Tank podcast. That's Derek. What's up, baby? That's Kixen. Damn.

Oh, this guy's, he touching a, he touching a Negroid's hair. That's Kixen over there right there. I don't know if you see him, guys, do you see him? That's so rude. Do you see him? That's rude. Isn't that just a black android?

No, a negroid is a, it's a black creature that's human-like, but not human. Are you sure? It's not like, like, Android-like, you know. Nica droid is a black android. Are you sure Nigroid isn't a black Android? I'm positive. I'm pretty sure Toriyama. I invented the word, Android.

And he invented Android and said, a black android is a Negroid. And he's in fact, Android 69. Is there? No. No, there's no black. Don't be ridiculous. There's one in a movie technically. There's two black people in DBZ, man.

That's it. There's a few. No. There's like two. It's Ube. Oob's not black. I mean, Ubs,

Ubs, I'm Indian. Is he? He's like Indian or something like that. Are you sure? Yeah, like actually he's not, he's not indie, because there's an Indian guy actually from Dragon Ball, but Ube is like a darker-skinned like Middle Eastern person.

I guess. I'll claim him, no, I guess, he's fine. There's, you know, there's somebody who's, you know, he kind of,

you know, he's the, he's kind of like the, the servant of the guardian of earth. Mr. Popol is a demon, but he is the color black. You're right? He has minstrel colors. The blue version?

The blue one looked even crazier to me. So, you know, and his role, too, is also a little questionable. He's the seven of the guy, I guess. A little weird. There was that boxer, dude. His name was shooter or a record or something like that? Yeah. There was, um, I remember he had, um, very distinct finctures that, like, he's

unmistakably black. Welcome to the Snark Tank podcast. Patreon.com slash the Snark Tank. What the fuck? My computer's doing stupid shit. Patreon.com slash the snark tank. You can go over there, support us. Give us your hard earned money and we will squander it. We will spend it on cameras that cameras that have a little crosshairs on it like that. Don't forget the hookers. And also male hookers. And also male, predominantly male hookers. Male hookers. You make the male hookers fuck each other and then cry afterwards. I like that. I like that. I like that. And remember early access, ad free episodes, exclusive episodes with our extra ammo show. Go on over there. You can write in.

You can write in the show. Startank. Shop. By the time you're hearing this, the Halloween stuff was going to be gone, or at least the jacket will be gone. But there will still be like, you know, the little creepy critter shirt. I like that one. But, yeah, there'll be another merch drop soon. I'm working on something that I'm pretty excited about, you know, from a, from a,

recent extra ammo that we did. But there's really not much going on. There's an election soon, but like we're in that kind of weird, awkward space where we kind of have some idea of how it's going to go, but like not quite exactly, you know. Yeah. So nothing really to say there. Waiting for that.

I was hoping now that the veil guard dropped, that maybe I was going to see some stuff that kind of made me have second thoughts. I did, you know, one of those kind of coping mechanisms that you're like, yeah. Maybe, you know, because I really do. I really did want to play. It's not one of those fucking things where I'm just complaining for the sake of it, right?

But it actually went in the other direction. Oh, yeah. It, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, there's, there's, I, I just, I have to, I have to you, you guys' attention. This is so fucking crazy to me. What is it? So it's, the lightest of spoiler, not really, because, like, they showcased this scene, most, a lot of it in the, when they were, like, revealing some shit, like, when, when, when, uh, when,

Verick confronts Solis. Yeah. And essentially, the writing suggests that this whole thing could have been avoided if Solis would have just talk to somebody about his plan. And I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on, pause.

I've heard people say that the writing is pretty fucking good. And then, like, I see this thing that, like, literally that just spawned, because, and I'm not joking, he just didn't say anything to anybody. He's like, I'm not trying to destroy the world. He's like, you're going to take down the veil. I had a plan. And he's like, now it's your fault that these elven gods, my enemies escaped.

And I'm like, so, so like you came to the inquisition when your plan failed. And then this time you're just like, no. And I was like, it made me, it made me go. turn off my computer because I was like I can't how do you justify writing that shitty Derek I can't Derek can you please stop I you have no clue you have no clue how much I was I threatened to kill myself if this game wasn't good I threatened it on here I threatened it on Twitter we're waiting I threatened it I threatened to take my own life The cloud.

Just cloud out. In a middle of the podcast, you just go cloud. Dude, I feel insane. When I saw that, I was like, I feel like I'm actually insane. This can't be real. And Chris were talking about the scene about the girl. So I'm non-binary now. And the way we were like, we were going over the fact that like, first of foremost, right?

Yeah. A lot of non-binaryness exists in ancient cultures. Exactly. The fact that, like, the fact that people are going crazy about that is, like, Like we don't know history at all. Well, those people are, they're just, no,

no, but yeah. The culture where people fuck them. Yeah, but like, but like people are, but it is written fucking terribly. That's the point.

No, no, no, no. The fact, and you were like, how would you find out that equation unless you ask someone

if they are in fact binary? And it'd be like, I am non-binary. In a dragon age setting, there's, it's, it's fantastical. It's,

especially for a canary too. It makes sense. They're from a different other culture as well. Right, but hold on. Like, we're existing in the framework of like fantasy.

The pretext of fantasy, it doesn't always have to be, but like the idea is that it's kind of ancient. It's like ancient tinged. It's not like computers and like fucking, you know, sci-fi shit running around, contemporary technology. It is like olden. And when you're looking at like, if you want to have a character and convey it as like, okay, this is a non-binary character, there's so many avenues throughout history that you can

choose to pick from to code that message into the game that make it full. that makes it feel like it's from this kind of setting or era or what have you. There are so many spirituality in ancient cultures that literally follow the definition of what non-binary is without using that very modern term. It's insane. It would be like, it would be like somebody in Skyrim talking about their like KD ratio or something. Yeah. You would not.

You would be like, they wouldn't say that. What the fuck? No, it's insane. Dude, you know, you know writing like the simple rule about writing, it sounds very trivial able to say this, but the only rule about writing is believability. Yeah. That's it. That's the only rule.

So if it fits in that universe, it's good. And that's the problem with this. And to the point of saying, obviously, it's clearly not about there being a nine binary character. It's just like in Dragon Age's Inquisition. A lot of people miss this, including myself, because of how fine the character was. Crim. Crims and the Chargers, Iron Bulls Chargers.

Crim is a trans man Literally Oh in Dragon Age? Yeah, in Dragon Age Inquisition So the third installment In 2014 You get a hint of it

But they don't outright say it You suspect it But not really And you don't give a shit Because Crim's cool Then you get to know the Chargers Because like Iron Bull invites you He's like come meet my crew

And then she's a little more forthcoming about it And then he It's supposed to be he He's more forthcoming about it And then you have more caveats You can read like a codex Or you can just see the backstory On the Dragon Age Wiki or whatever

and just showing you his story, and it's like it completely fits within that world, how he ended up there. It completely makes sense. And he's cool. He's the second in command of the fucking of this mercenary group. And he's cool as shit. And I forgot because he's written well enough

to where you don't think about that shit. Yeah. In the way that I saw another scene, again, light spoiler, but you probably, if you're interested in this at all, you must have seen this at this point because those culture war freaks posted it everywhere. But a returning character, too little too late, by the way, Isabella, who should have returned a long time ago because Isabella, she was there from the beginning. You meet her in the bar and then fucking the second one, she has a very huge arc, right?

Because the fucking, the air shock wants to fuck her butt, essentially. For the baby, right? I'm being stupid. If anyone believe me, that's not what he wanted. He didn't want to fuck her. But long story short, didn't make a return at all. and like many people to make a return to Inquisition.

And now you're gonna, I was like, too little too late. They're not connected to the Inquisitor. They're not detected to my hero, Farrellden. I don't care. But yeah, so that scene with her, she accidentally misuses the pronouns.

And then she kind of punishes herself by doing these push-ups as a reminder to, basically what it does is not only was it preachy. It was kind of like putting the onus on you to respect the pronouns where it's like, it's like, first of all, in a real world setting, most people who, if you're friends with somebody who changes their gender or whatever, you'll respect them.

If you don't respect them, you're not their friends and they don't give a fuck about you in the first place. So this weird thing, I was like, who's this for? Because if one of my friends changed gender and they're like, could you call me this or even nickname? I have a new nickname now. Yeah. I would be like, I'll try my best to remember.

And if I slip up, I know they wouldn't chastise me because they know I'm putting in the effort. Right. But that's not how that fucking scene's written. Literally, one of my closest friends, somebody hang out with all the time. That Chris thinks I've lost all the time too is a trans woman.

And I make mistakes every now and about misgendering them. And I've never, it's never been anything. It's never been other than like, oh, my mistake. Yeah, because it's harmless. You're not some bloody fuck that's like,

oh, I'll never address this. And then again, if you were that, they wouldn't be hanging out with you. Right? If you were being a cut to them, they would just stop hanging out with you. So the problem of that scene, I was like,

who's this for? It's written terribly, man. It's really, it's written like I saw somebody like, we mentioned this before, but like it's, it's some, some reviewer, I think it was Ralph. I think it was, uh, skill up. Okay. He said it was like, uh, everybody's written like HR was in the room while they were. Yes. And I saw a clip. I tweeted it out.

I saw it. There's like a family guy clip of Will Smith rapping. I saw the making the rounds. And it is like, it is literally like I saw that. I think it this is how Dragon Age feels. Like, I respect women when I'm on a date. I take them to the park. Maybe.

museum and I only try to kiss them when they're ready what's up, sup. Like that's how it is. That's really like and everybody tells you like straight up like what they're feeling. There's no like interpretation involved.

It's always like I've been so preoccupied with learning the truth of my ancestors or whatever. It's like yeah, you should have. Hey, shut up. Shut the fuck up. Like we're trying to kill people. I was trying to actually overlook. So I did overlook.

I was like, okay, this is me personally. since I rarely play as a renegade, I like the options when it's there. So it's like, I'm a dick when it calls for it. But I don't normally do full renegade art. So that's not technically how I like to play. Unless as Baldest Gate 3 came out

because the stuff that you can do is further past anything I've ever played before. It is. So I had to indulge. There is a good guy. There's a neutral guy. Then there's a demon. Extreme dark urge.

I was like, this is so crazy. You've never been able to. Like, um, Bain, beloved character, you can just decapitate, right?

Like, in the beginning of the game. My favorite character, the nicest woman. The character... Arguably, like, the second favorite character in the game. Who's the first one? The first one, and I think it's because there's a lot of horny men,

the Shadow Heart. Really? Yes, absolutely. Well, think about Lear. Leara is, if you look at the polls, the R is the most popular. She's not the best character. But Shadow Heart would...

Shadow Heart was the one that I gravitated. I didn't get too deep. Did you meet Carlach at least? Yeah, I met Carlick. I smash both of them, but I mainly... I'm sure for the three-way right now, bro. I met Carly... I met Carlyke.

I met Carlyke, and she was, like, doing damage to me. You're jamming your favorite song, and while you aren't missing a beat, you could be missing a signal from your body. It's an SOS from your kidneys, and it doesn't sound like music at all. It's silent. High blood pressure, type 2 diabetes,

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You shouldn't. Visit Detect thesos.com today to learn more. Because she was just around and setting the place on fire or whatever and I was like, no. Oh yeah.

When you go fight the paladins? No. This is so inconvenient. She was being a complete dump. That's why you can do that whole thing without her. Yeah. But I'm like, get the fuck out of your bitch.

You're supposed to do it with her to get the, what you call it? She'd get the sword. The sword, yeah. I did it. I did it with her, but it just annoying that she's running around setting shit on fire making things. I was like, this is hot as fuck, bro. I was like, you stupid bitch.

This is all I want. All I want is a big destructive bitch on my side. Yeah. Woman. But yeah, like, I just love. Yeah. Well, you didn't. Sorry. But yeah, so fantastic stuff. One of the two. Which are one. They're both. She's both. But yeah, the, the actual lack of actually being an app, a dickhead. It was, I didn't really, I heard everybody say it. But actually getting to like really see it and see multiple examples of just how soft it was. I was more taken aback. than I thought it was going to be. Because I was like, I like, you know, I like to be a dick

when it calls for it. Kind of like in the mass effect when there would be the triggered parts where it's like Paragon or Renegade. And there's moments I always chose renegade because it was just a better choice usually. Just to be a dick to somebody like punching the reporter or something.

Get the fuck out of a reporter. Like so shit like that. So it, it's, man, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do at this. It's,

I've never been in a situation like this where I wanted to play something so, badly but I know I'm not going to enjoy it. So like how the fuck do you cope with that? I want that game. I want to... You guys had anything like that before? Um,

like something like on that like, you're like man, I still really want to play this because this is like my bread and butter, but I know that it's not built for me, unfortunately. It's not for me anymore. I don't know for card games.

Okay. Card games probably a... One piece to card game. I'd love to play that card because I love One Piece, but also the same time, like I don't, I think Bandai is a terrible company. I think One Piece Car games. the game is so boring.

So I'm like, I'm just not going to stay away from it. It hurts. So yeah. I see it long. And I'm like, I like, yeah, I don't know. Yeah,

that's, that's, that's my quick little update. I, I did say in my video, I haven't dropped it yet because I haven't had time to edit it, but I will play. I guess I should say it here too.

I said, I will play it if somebody gifts it to me. Like, because I just want, I'm not buying this. I'm not fucking buying it. I can. Do you do that for your Christmas?

I, no, I don't want her, I'll ever buy like something. else that I haven't played it. I haven't played a Space Marine 2. Oh, yeah, that's good. Yeah. So, like, there's, because I've been working on my backlog and I said I was only going to make exceptions for something this big as Dragon Age. Because I'm going to stick to the, but now I'm like, well, I guess I'm going to go back to, uh, I never finished Dume Eternal. So I'm, um,

working on Dumey Turtle now. So, yeah. So that's, uh, that's, that's where, that's where I'm at at. Duneil's hard, too. That's why, um, I think I may have came back to it because like, well, I didn't, I put it down. I don't, I got distracted, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like now it was pretty fucking tough and then I don't know what happened. I only beat the first D.O.C. And I was like, I'm done. Ancient gods is really fucking difficult.

I'm notiously so. I've heard. It's four people who beat the game. You know what I mean? Like, it's one of those. Like, I beat the game and then like I put it down for a while and then the D.

That's like fucking the Eldon tree. What is it? Ertree? Yeah. Yeah. Like I was like, oh yeah. Just jumping into this is going to.

That's why so many assholes are like, this is so hard. I'm like, did you guys? Like I said, those guys went around for DS3. Because like the Ring City DLC compared to the base game is comically hard. It's because even the base game of Dark Souls 3 is really not easy.

It's not. Part of that game that are super obnoxious. And it's like, let's just make it harder. And it's like, let's make it. Let's make them so much more aggressive. The bosses are so much harder. But like that's just, that's what they do. Right.

Yeah. Aggressive as fucking. But yeah, that's it. And I will say, man, look, I don't want to discourage people. people that aren't really huge Dragon Age fans or they don't mind like say the tonal shift fucking have at it man have the fuck at it I'm it's it's it's it's already been done the damage has already been done the the game is what it is and if you're sitting here being like oh no that stuff really bothers me and you know I kind of want to play with like a fun magicie

hack and slashy kind of thing I heard the build diversity is actually pretty not bad like it seems okay maybe maybe there's something there yeah there could be something there and especially if you don't if you don't have a if you don't have a huge to the old games, man. I can't see how you would hate this game. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I think it's going to sell very well. I think so too.

I actually, it seems really, and against all of the people that wanted a review bomb, it's not really being reviewed bomb. I think it was sitting at 80% on like 80% positive on Steam, for example. And the scores are hovering around 80 or 8 point, you know. Yeah, I cannot believe it. It is very disheartening, but it's just a thing where it's like, you kind of have to realize, I'm like, well, this is the same for us, man.

It's not what we wanted and what we expected. I just dropped the, I saw the trailer for Dragon Age 2. It's this, it's this extended destiny trailer. That's what it's called like destiny extended. When you look at that versus what it turned into, it kind of actually almost made me like emotional where I was like, it's night and day, but I was like, how could you properly express how night and day it is. You know what I'm saying?

Getting older is fun because you get to watch things, just lose their specialness. Lose their life over time. It's really sad. I get to watch their eyes dim and you get to watch it. You're like, oh, wow, I used to love this. Yeah. And we were Pokemon.

Looking at Pokemon now and seeing how, like, just, granted, it was insane when we were younger. Like, it wasn't like a pillar of, like, design. But seeing some Pokemon out of just ice cream cones is like, fuck. That was always a problem, that to be fair, because they had the magnet. They had the fucking ball.

Oh yeah, they had the pokey ball. They had that one that was sludge. Like, I'm not, I'm not, like, I'm admitting to it. I'm admitting to the fact that it looked stupid. When you get older, you lose that, like, wonderful glow of vision. They're like, oh, shit. The wonder. I'm admitting this now to the older ones.

I'm like, this is. The wonder of it goes away. Yeah. But even, but, yeah, I mean, I don't know. With the tones are going to shift and things are, dude, man, I've had this exact experience. already, you know, for years. Yeah. So, like, I, it sucks.

It hurts. It was, how was it? How did you feel when, um, how much stuff did you see, say, for example, Halo 4 was a big shift for a lot of people? Yeah. How did you feel what, did you see everything before it dropped or was it you experiencing playing it? Then you were like, oh, this is, this is very different.

Well, I remember experiencing it and I remember playing it and being like, I remember thinking I liked it because there was no way that I couldn't like it. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that.

Like, I love it. because it wasn't it's not like it's a shit like a shit game it's very competent like compared to like a lot of other things it's not terrible like it's a solid like 80 even even with the stuff that I don't like but the shit that it did to like storytelling and tone it's so emotional for like no reason which at the time I thought was like oh kind of this kind of neat like the character now. I remember specifically thinking that like, oh, I cry, I tear it up at the end, so it must have been good.

I love that. And it's like, the distance kind of got, like, and you kind of jump into multiplayer and you're like, I don't know if I want to play this right now. And you think like, that's unusual. And then you just don't touch it for a long time. And then you realize, like, I haven't played through the story a single time after I, which is never true. Like, usually it's like, oh, I beat it.

Now I'm going to go legendary. Or like, you know what I mean? Right. Now we're going to do co-op or something. And I was like, oh, I didn't have the, I didn't want to do that. Why didn't I want to do that even though I thought I liked it? And then I just played it again years later. And I was just like, wow, this is fucked in every possible.

It's ugly looking. It's actually the same experience in some way as the Dragon Age thing. Because it's like, why does it look like this? Why did they make this look like this? Like, why are you doing this to me? It is very ugly. I remember that specifically. Yeah.

Because I played all those games. I played them all consecutively because I did, I never played four. So when the Master Chief Collection came out and like everything was out, and I was like, oh, let me, let's play everything back to back because I haven't played, I barely played the originals because I didn't have an Xbox.

My brother did. And I only, Reach was my game that I played multiple times because it was available for my, 360. Yeah. Anyway, yeah,

just going from fucking Reach and like going, moving forward. forward and I was like, oh, this guy's really, I was like, I was, I was, I just, I was like, it's not really an adventure. Yeah, I was like, no, it's an adventure, but it's not an adventure. You know, it's a problem? It's clumsy. I don't remember enough. That is a problem. I don't remember enough from that game either. I remember when I, when I, I, just that game, because of how stupid it was. Remember getting a light weapons? You got a shotgun and a shot, ball, prison was like a neon lights at you. And then it was, it was okay. It was, it. It was, it's, it's, it's, it. shit, I didn't like how it worked, but... And then, like, you meet all of the, like...

What makes it really weird is, like, imagine playing D&D and you just meet all the gods. You know, like, oh, wow. Yeah, that's kind of what it is. Oh, I mean, I'm in Olympus sitting next to fucking... Whoa, as a dude, I'm a level two cleric and I'm sitting next to God. You're like, what's going on? It demystifies the entire universe for no reason.

Like, the whole point of like... And then they had the nerve to make the what you go. They made the book with all the... of the lore, the ancient lore right after that. And it's like, this all falls apart because I met a forerunner and I'm sure Chief could beat the fuck out of one of them.

I'm sure he could walk one of their asses. Yeah, you have like a trilogy of books like detailing the day-to-day lives of these creatures that you're not even supposed to have a concept of. And you're just like, oh, that's this guy's dad or uncle and he's like, this is his car. And it's just like, who the fuck can't? Like, this is insane. And to the point where they realized what they were doing

and then so they had to add a, they had to, So they have the forerunners, and then the forerunners have the precursors. Yeah, the pre-them. Both of those words mean the same thing. And the forerunners, by the way, call themselves the forerunners. No, they don't. Which is insane.

That is insane. It's so stupid because they're supposed to be humans. The whole time they were supposed to be humans. They were never supposed to be a different species. It was supposed to be humans from before. That's why Chief can use the stuff. Because that means it invalidates why the fucking chief use the stuff if he had to be evolved into something I could use the stuff. That all of that, it's, it's raping itself.

It's the auriboral snake, but it's raping itself. It's dicks coming out of its, and it's going up its own ass again. And it's like, what the fuck am I seeing? Yeah. Like, people give that game a pass because it's performed well and it's acted well. And that is absolutely true. It's like a step above, I think, the other games, too. Because, like, other games are, like, a little bit campy on purpose, to be fair.

But, like, it's like, it's a lot more serious. And people are like, well, I've never seen this out of this. And it's like, that's cool. But, like, the novelty wears off the second you realize that it's just been raped to death in front of you. It's what it succeeds at is that it's a fan base of people. And then Halo 5 is worse. So then there's like a snowball of like, oh. No, Hala 5 is not worse than four.

Well, you know what I mean. It's worse as a result. Yeah. Yeah, I know what you mean. It's the fallout. It's like, oh, exactly. This wasn't as bad. This is the bomb.

This is the fallout. This is the last. And because the bomb is so catastrophic, people don't understand how bad it was. People were like, oh, it's the fallout. That's bad. What was the worst thing about Halo 5 to you guys? Everything about Spartan Lock. Yeah?

Everything about Spartan Lock. Really? No, no, no, no. The worst thing is that the truly worst part is Arbiter and Chief after years meeting each other and not having an interaction. Not kissing. Not seeing. They should have had a. interaction.

They should have raped each other. They should have had a rape off. They should have put their shit on the ground and be like one of us is getting fucked right now. That's crazy. The fact that they didn't have the, the fact that they didn't, I'm so angry just thinking of it. But like, yeah, they didn't have an interact. Everything about that game is, the issue with that game isn't even necessarily that it's, but it's just like nothing happens.

You know what I mean? That fight scene is terrible. Nothing happened. That drunk fights. I remember, I was just talking because we did a consolation about like midnight releases. I remember being in line. Were you with us? I think it was me and Whisk went to the Halo 5 midnight release.

I wasn't the Halo 5. I was at Destiny with you guys. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we went to the Halo 5 minute release and we were in line. You're like, oh, man, I'm pretty excited. Because the beta was actually really fun. Like, and I still think that game is fun, actually.

But like... If it was 60 frames per second, that game could be a viable playing game right now. That game was 50% percent. Sorry, no, FOV. So I've had a white FOV because it was the stunted like 70. Oh. It's tight. Yeah.

If that was on PC, it'd be fun. It'd be awesome. Yeah. But like, but yeah, the, I remember being in line at the GameStop here, I think, even, like in fucking Glendale, in the Americana. And I remember just being like, yeah, I'm excited, I guess, because the beta was really great. And it was a real beta, too. It was like a beta a year ahead. So, like, they had a bad time to like really, like, it wasn't one of those fake betas where it's like two months before, you know what I'm like, you're not doing anything.

Yeah, yeah. So like, I was done. I remember being stoked about it and being like, oh, the marketing was really cool. It's like, oh, what's going on? Like he's, chief is like a trader or something. thing and there's like you're hunting like it's going to be a double-sided story that's cool it's like halo two again this is dope and then I remember some guy unprompted like I don't even remember like what the interaction was I was talking to whisk about it and he was like hey do you see

this and he turns his phone to me I don't know this person he shows me he shows me because I guess the game had leaked or something or people had got it early he shows me that fight scene of chief and lock like drunkenness fighting in like obvious mocha. Have you seen it? No. Have you not seen this? You've been a hit a five, right?

So I didn't finish it. I was. Derek, the fight scene's bad, dude. That's crazy. Because there's only a couple of things I remember. I just remember the opening where I'm like,

whoa, they're going hard in the paint. I wish I could, you know, it looked like Titanfall to me. Yeah. Like the way that they move. I'm like,

oh man, I wish I could do more. That makes it even worse. Oh, the beginning, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's even worse because at fight seat is so, it's.

That's why I'm like, I didn't finish the game, but that was just like, I don't know why I didn't finish it. I think other shit just kept coming out. As I'm talking, I want you to look this up and watch it. It is, it's not that long. It is unbelievable. But the context of this is that I am in line waiting for the midnight release of this game. And this guy was, I guess, he was there too, so he's excited about it.

But remember, but remember. It's the second result. Yeah. When I put in Master Chief and the second result was versus Locke. it is dude you don't have to have the sound on but like oh my god it's so bad because lock is hot

he must have been he must have showed you this video too is nine years old it is that literal video probably but like he turns did you see this he literally turns to me

he says like did you see this because he is you have to keep in mind this is people who are excited about this game who are in line for the midnight release who by the way have all undoubtedly

experienced the launch of the Master Chief Collection which was broken as fuck. Right. So you're already there with like a hint of like I hope this is you know I'm excited but like that was pretty I don't know

that was rough. This is two things in a row now where four was like mm-hmm But most people liked it so I'm like okay maybe I'm maybe it's maybe it was me but then the chief collection comes out and it's fucked and it doesn't work and now we're in line for this

and he shows this fight scene to me presumably because he was watching it and was just so sad that he couldn't suffer alone. He had to give it to it. It follows ass fucking interact with his hands you sadness. As I say, Misery loves company, man. It is unfucking believable. It looks like two drunk idiots.

It's really bad. Just grappling. It's really bad. He's watching it right now, Derek. Oh, come on, dude. Yeah, dude. I'm astonish. These guys are Spartans.

Right. Can you imagine? Imagine that's Cretos. That's what Cretos and Thor look like fighting each other. Literally the Cretto's balder fight with the mods is more accurate. Oh my God. Look, it's horrible. Like, and like, look, guys, this is not an over-exaggeration.

No. It's really bad. Like, it's like, it's. It's like just people. It's just people at a bar. It's people on an Irish pub fighting. These are killers. These are warriors.

Wow. These are super humans. Dude, I saw that in line at the midnight release in line to pick this game up. And I remember being like, maybe it's the worst one. Yeah, like, maybe it picks up later. And you know what? I'm excited because, you know, the beta was fun.

I thought it was pretty sick. Maybe they're both just tired. Yeah. Maybe they're just, yeah. Maybe like they're already tired. Really injured. Maybe this is like early in the game. Maybe it's like their first square off.

He's probably nerve. He's probably nerve for some reason. Yeah, maybe he's like... She probably has fucking Promethean cancer, dude. Imagine Spartan's moving that slowly. Dude, I couldn't believe it. Canonically, they move like blurs. That's the thing where I'm like...

You can't see them. They're supposed to be very fast. They're supposed to be out of like seeing this dude telegraphed a fucking hook like that any regular person, a person that's never trained before could have dodged it. Like that's kind of, that's stupid. I fight. I actually fight better than that. Yeah, I think so.

I'm not even joking. And that is unbelievable. That's an anomaly. That's an anomaly when you have a game that big. How many humans do they beat one Spartan? How many humans? I don't know if they could ever happen. Because I know a league.

In hand to hand? Yeah. Because I know a league can kill like a building full of people. But that's what I mean. Like one elite. And one elite can kill a Spartan. What do the people have? She just gets lucky.

What do the people have? Yeah, they have that. They can do enough damage to harm the person. Like, they can. Because like, you're not going to be able to hurt the mun armor. That's the thing. You can't, it doesn't matter of me using. Like frying pans and like bricks aren't going to damage the munia armor.

Would they just be tired and die at a certain point so they die of exhaustion? I guess so. I don't think they're going to lose to their. They're fighting and they can do a note. They can do an amount of damage that's set. How many of them do you think it would take the? kill a Spartan. There's a TikToker...

There's a TikToker... There's a TikToker that does stuff like this. I'm going to see if I can request that. Yeah, yeah. And see, like, hey, just Sims... Ask that guy with the action figures who plays with them with the fucking fire. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You wouldn't even entertain. He'd be like, you guys aren't ready. You guys have enough money. I don't have money. You don't have money. I don't have 100 normal man action figures. So, like, I don't know. None to spare, at least.

I mean, fuck. Well, I'll just go to Frankenstein and just grab a couple, you know? Just grab some, Dude, if we did an episode of the podcast and we put a camera above us and we played with action figures, I know that's what to pop off. We'd have to have some ground rules first, though. We were like, okay, what can it can happen?

Have you ever played with action figures with other people? I don't think I've ever done that. In elementary school, yeah. Maybe a long fucking time ago. I did, but I hate it because people would just start making up bullshit. And I'm like, look, this is already bullshit, right? You got to have some sort of line. Everything can't be crazy, right?

Yeah, people would always move goalpost and shit. Goku can't get his arm and body ripped off and come back and fight it right? It would be like, you gotta stop. It would be like, bam, I got you and you'd be like, no he didn't, no you didn't. It's like that, literally that. For hours. We did that with, so usually what we would do with the action figures, we would,

it would represent ourselves. So we'd pick somebody and then we'd get in these crazy scenarios and usually we'd be fighting like teachers and shit. So like there was a- You and your anti-teacherness your whole life. They were, dude, our teachers, because it was a private elementary school, our teachers were monsters.

They were, they like, to, I actually was thinking about this, actually yesterday of how, you know, the interjecting these returning characters into the Vail Guard, the way that it made me feel was the way that one of my teachers put me on timeout, because I don't know, I probably did something shitty. And then I was like, all right, I feel like I've been on timeout long enough. It was at the end of the day all we do was like play outside until our parents pick us up. And I was like, I'm like, I've been on time out for like a long time. Can I, like, can I get up?

Can I go play with my friends? And she's like, nope, just I'll let you know. And then my step sister comes to pick me. me up and she's like, now you can be off timeout. Like a fucking cunt. Like to a little kid, I'm a little kid. And she just pierces my heart where like, I just want to play. And then she says, oh, now you're off time out.

When of course I am, bitch, I'm going home. Yeah, she might as well, she might as well have slashed your femoral artery and drank the blood. The thing about that is that like, as a kid, that's how I felt. Which is such an understanding. Like, I don't understand rearing children or trying to teach children how to behave because that idea if you inform them, some kids are. shitty. You might have been a pretty shitty kid, but you weren't terrible. No, I wasn't

horrible kids. I had a couple of moments where I would just be, I think a little bit too, I was too self-aware, so I was very snarky. Yeah, and that's what happens. Because I was too, I utilized it. Yeah, I had flashes of like, mashett, like, meanness. I just had, I just had moments, I was just observant. So since I was observant, I picked up on shit. So I was like, oh, manipulation is how you can manipulate people. That is crazy. That is crazy. I have a A four-year-old, you're like, a four-year-old understanding how to lie is crazy. Because like. Efficiently, not lying random.

Like, no, like, I don't know who did that. But other kids haven't learned that yet. So you're like overpower. It's like leveling up super fucking early. And then you end up in like the fucking. 10 minutes into the game, you're in the level 10 area. And you're like, huh. Yeah.

Figure this out. Like you manipulate. And you're overpowered. You can do things like manipulate kids into giving them like your lunch in their lunch. Yeah. And then, you know, you say something. Like, oh, that's gross. Like we're going to trade or something.

Yeah, or something like that. I convinced it again I was an alien and I was going to destroy the earth. Oh, right. Exactly that. Yeah, but I thought special needs. What'd you too old? He didn't. He actually didn't.

I am positive. But weren't you too old? I think, wasn't he like special? No, no, no. He was like third grade. Oh. And I know because like I've found his social media. Did you tell him?

Yeah, I remember this fucking. No, no. I didn't remember this fucking. You know my entire life, asshole? His name was Derek also. Oh, no. Oh no It was the white name

It was the white name It was the white name D-E-R-E-K D-E-K Yeah, yeah But I remember I remember him And I saw him

I was like Oh no This is a normal fucking dude But he was just like Gullable And Derek Yeah there's a few of them

I forgot There's Derek And there's Derek And then there's That fucking guy From Sum 41 Where I forget I was name

It's like a Y in it And like It's like a Yeah there's like a A Y and a Q And like a fucking Degrees

Symbol And a fucking leaf With syrup on it And I was like I was like You can't eaters are crazy. That's insane. That's so insane.

Because you're not even going to eat the leaf. This is a waste of everything there. That's like you can't catch a bear or some shit. You put a leaf with syrup on it. The symbol of Canada. Oh my God. Yeah. Oh, what's up?

Good news. So I changed the name of the last episode from BioWare is cooked to Dragon Age is cooked. Why? I don't want to be a complete asshole because the director of the next mass effect said, hey, this shit's going to be photorealistic and the tones are going to remain the same. Don't worry people. Like we're taking good care of this game. Somebody said something about Pixar and he responded to it. He's like, I don't agree with you that they look like Pixar characters in this.

And I'm like, well, semantical. Like you know what he means. They look like. They look like true. Yeah. Oh, it's not Pixar. It's Dreamworks. That's what I'd be able to be.

Shut up. Shut up. But he's saying, so I'm, look, even though I still don't have hope, I've had enough of your disingenuous assertions.

I don't have hope necessarily at all, but I will keep an open mind. That will be the final product for me. Like, say if that's dog shit, then I'm like, okay, I don't care about biower games anymore.

You know what I'm sorry? I probably wouldn't care about Halo at all if Halo Infinite wasn't pretty solid, you know? Like, because at this point, it's just like, what?

Like, okay, four was a major strike for me. But that, was like subjective because there's a lot of people who love it and I'm just like all right I guess got you I think it's pretty objective but like whatever like it's one of those things as as you being a a actual like a diehard halo fan like you it's it's how we're experiencing dragon age right now it's in the same way if you were except it would be like in dragon age if they like if suddenly someone had a rifle all of the lore like imagine because like throughout the entire trilogy they're like humans are foreigners like

That's like kind of set up really distinctly. In the beginning, he's like, the robot goes up to Master Chief. It's like, why would you hesitate to do what you've already done, implying that he thinks they're the same? Because he's fucking old and he's like, oh, this is the same type of person. And then the second one, it's hinted. And at the end, he literally says to Vashtjev, you are a forerunner. At the end.

And then in four, it's just like, yeah. And then in four, it's like, actually, there were different people. And it's like, they were these weird. They were a Baltimore looking, nigg. do it. What do you mean? That's the basis of the, literally the themeing of the entire universe

is built on this and now it's just not real. Ryan Johnsoning right there, man. It is. It is, except they didn't think they were subverting expectations. They just, for some reason. Did they forget? I don't understand.

That's what it feels like. Yeah. It feels like you just didn't play these, I guess, and just were like, who are the forerunners? We never went into that. That is actually, I'm gonna be real.

That's what, that's actually what the veil guard feels like. Yeah. It feels like these people studied the old games, but they didn't actually play them. Right. They were just like, oh, they took some notes and were like, okay, I got a feel for dark fantasy. It's like Dragon Age adjacent. Yeah.

It's so fucking bizarre. But again, like you said, selling well is all that matters at the end of the day. And that's unfortunate. Yeah. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? What are you going to do? I'm not going to bitch all day.

I'm just going to be like this franchise. Watch Baldur's Gate 4 is dog shit. Watch it be dog shit? I think I'll actually... I think I'll actually... You might hurt yourself. I might do something drastic because that's like... Dude, because I actually...

One reason why I don't... Is that definitely one of your favorite video games at all time? So I think it has to be. Because here's the problem. Here's the problem that I'm having constantly by backlogging my games. You want to go back to it? All I want to do is play Ballersgate. I just keep wanting to go back.

And then now that this game came out, I was like... I was gonna go, man. I was like, I was going to install it. I was like, I can't. Like, I'm going to stick to my guns. How many hours do you have in Balticgate?

Three. I probably have. I easily have at least 300 hours in a game. Yeah. I don't have as much as that, but I definitely have over time. I played, I played,

I played, I played, yeah, you've been playing a lot more. Oh, yeah, I played like the fucking alpha or something. Yeah,

I was like one of the early people. Yeah, I have, I still have over an unhealthy amount because like, because it came out last year, and then within that span of months, I was just doing nothing but playing it.

It's so, but I've taken a long break and I said that I'll play it again when that fucking Patch 7 came out, but I still haven't played it. Pat 7's insane, dude. I just, the shit I've been able to do is. I know, shut up, sad or so shut up. I'm level 12 in the beginning of the game, whooping the fuck of everybody with everyone in the team following me. Everyone's with me.

So it's like nine of us walking through the street talking about it. It's fucking insane. Every combat interaction is horrible for them. Is everyone naked? No, but everybody has All the girls have big ass fucking tities Okay Fat titties

I have shadow heart in Tifa's costume With giant tities I approve I approve I'm a deviant I'm a piece of shit I'm a tribe person I just couldn't

I feel like I would just look that up You know what I mean Like if I wanted to see it I feel like it would be so much to just The comedy of it is funny That's why it's like the just the position Of like I love you doing here

And it's just like It's these giant giant giant I love her voice. She's, she's, she's, Grey, she's a great, she's a great voice actresses for sure. Yeah, I follow a couple, I actually started following

some of the voice actors. I think I just follow everyone but Will. But Will? Yeah, I don't care about that, nigga. I killed him immediately. I think I follow him. I like Will's character a lot

because once, but it's really cool once. He's black, right? Yeah. That's why. He's really good as soon as getting Act 3. Act 3,

well, is awesome, actually. Like, he's one of the better characters in Act 3. But before that, he's kind of like, I'm just a guy trying to do the right thing. I'm okay with him. I was okay with him until my act one was his act three. He left pretty quick.

I was okay with him until he tried to fuck me. And then I had to put him down. That's great. The fact that you could just deny it, but you got so fucking worked up. You got so upset that you killed him. That is so out of fucking. I have a mind.

That was another save state. Just to be fair How do you get that worked up Two save states My actual save state I didn't kill him I rejected him And I thought it was funny

Because he was all sad He was And so I say I saved And then loaded a previous Save just before And they killed So he didn't

So in your world He doesn't even know What he did wrong He didn't even flirt with you yet He just was gay And you got You're gonna be gay You're gonna be gay

I got a cold herd boy That's what I did the Garris When I was like oh no He's gonna get with Talia I was like I had to take care of the problem It's funny because It's wild When you like kind of disregard him

He's over by the beach During the fight them The whole festival thing Everybody's hanging on the teethlings And he's by the beach sad I'm like yo coming out man And he's like But I'm without love

And I was like yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna fuck Lysel today But like we're still cool right And I think that's way I did it too Every character in Baldur's Gate 3 is fucking omnisexual damn ear

Yeah, it's bisexual for the most part other than like the who's the oh my god it's been a long time Everybody fucks anyone I think

No except for the You can't fuck that one chick that you free What's her name? Jihara? No, not Jihara's the old lady Oh you can't fuck the old lady But

You can't fuck Isabel or the night song The night song Thank you the night song I wish I was pissed off I was like Lesb I want to have a three way With these lesbians

It's so crazy We look like we're broadcasting From fucking Apertiary science. Insane. So white. I love how like say coloring this episode is pointless. Yeah.

Yeah, there's no point. Don't work yourself that. Don't do that. It's just like, oh, I found a good, oh, this looks good. And then the next scene is like, it's already thrown off. It doesn't. Oh, this is disgusting. Whatever.

The, yeah, no, bothers you. I have the, I haven't installed on my laptop and I have like the train or like some mod installed on it to make like combat. The mod, there's already built I love that. Dude, cheating with the combat is so fucking fun. Yeah, I want Well, the thing for me, it's like, I don't know, like, I want to still

I feel like the mods are like all or nothing for the, for the combat though. Like, it's kind of like either you instant win or like, very much. Like, what I want is like, I want to still be able to fail dice rolls. I just don't want to like fucking get murked. You know what I mean? That's what I want. Like, I don't need like a D20 every single time. I see.

I just want to not. Why not at that moment? I don't know. It's a little bit, I don't know. I want to feel like I'm still playing the game. I've definitely made it. I want to be able to fail stuff.

I just don't want to be like, okay, I failed now like, oh, everybody's dead. And it's like, ah, come on.

Don't play, don't play on, don't just play in easy difficulty. Hmm? Play easy difficulty. I don't know. Or about custom. There's custom.

Now we can customize how the game playing. Yeah, there's the custom. Oh, is there really? Yeah. Yeah. No,

maybe, yeah. difficulties. That's one thing I'll always say Dragon Age is actually good about that. They did that in especially in the Inquisition. They did that pretty. I thought that was really cool. Yeah, maybe I'll do that. Yeah. So, because I like that world. I like that game. I like that characters. I just like I just could not give a fuck about that combat. I get it. I get it. Some of the

moments in combat, because I think the combat tells a story as well in that game. It's one of those games where like everything fucked is back in the storytelling. Like the combat like fighting Rafael was a moment that's like insane. fighting Mercall and fucking I guess I just don't feel like I'm fighting What's his name fucking J. Jonah Jameson. Oh,

Catherick. J. Kethrick. Okay. J.J.J.A. Yeah, okay. I forgot. I made that nigga. I made that nigga.

That's crazy. That's cool. Is he actually in the game? It should be safe. It is his face, right? No, but I mean it's J.K. It's J.K. Simms.

I was going to say Rowling. Yeah, it's J.K. Routling. He was J.K. Rowling. Calling. calling Clark. Carlin. like trans because she's just muscular.

Who is this? I'm not going to get into it. Fuck that bitch, dude. All right. Fuck that bitch for real. Yeah, I don't know. I'm getting sad thinking about all the games that should be better than they are. So let's move.

Yeah, let's move on. This is the thing. We always have the games. This is the thing that a lot of people to understand and you got to be able to understand. It's the games that we have that we love are still there. They are. That is true. Like, I do think people are a little bit weird about that where it's just like, oh, well, now it ruins

the other games. I don't know. I never felt that way. Absolutely not. If anything. I used to feel that way. until I took a step back and was like, oh, this thing I love

never disappeared. I actually just feel the opposite where I feel like, oh, it actually makes it like way better. Because it's just like, oh, this is like really difficult to capture actually. Yeah. And the fact that it exists at all is lucky. So like... The fact that they made it as well. Dude, just, uh, I watched

Maddie's, uh, he was talking about Dragon Age Origins and, um... He talks about that game like he's in love with it. Yeah. Like, it's like such a honest, like, love for that game. Matties was great dude too fucking short. because I wanted to hear him just gawk the fuck out of it more. So I was just like, damn, basically I thought it was going to be like throating the actual case and shit too.

But like, I was like, damn, it's another thing. It made me want to reinstall it because. Derek, if you play origins again, if you play origins with all like six of that games, DLCs, you're a fucking lunatic. I have it on my Steam deck and I literally have to not open it because I will play all of it. Did you mind it on? Huh? Did you like, is it on Steam?

No, Steam. He's on Steam, naturally? Yeah, it's... Well, that's one of the... No, I mean, well, you gotta open up the EA launcher. No, you can just buy it. I... It's like $30, I swear, for everything.

Maybe. If that is true, then... Wait, you might be right, actually. I've been thinking about checking it out. That's one of the only old games that's like... Actually, I did miss out on Dragon Age, so, like... And I have been curious about it. It is...

The story is... Dude, it's... It's... It's more co-selling of the Massifax. right? Huh? It's more Cotor than Mass Effect, right? 100%. The combat? It is literally... I didn't mind Cotor, really. Dude, the story is like the...

Because there's like four... There's like, you know, you have your axe, and there's like four main sections. There's four main things you have to do. And they're so wonderfully fleshed out. Like, just going to the fucking Elven Forres. Or going to fucking go back to fucking... Fucking with the dwarves, yeah. And like, there... If it's on Steam Deck, I'm definitely getting it.

The choices in every area that you have to make are so... It's so fucking engaging, man. And at the end of the game, the final choices you have to make where you got to get it. Yeah. That shit is so crazy. Yeah, Maddie loves that shit. The music is so good, too. It is.

There's a reason why it's been good, even since Inquisition was good, actually. Yeah. There's a reason why it became the defecto RPG. There's a reason why it has that. Like, when you think of Western RPGs, that's the first thing that comes up. Is it? 100%. Yes.

Western RPGs? What do you think? When I think of Western RPGs? Western RPG? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think?

I mean, you may say fallout. I, I, I think Bethesda stuff. You may say, I think Morrwind and Skyrim and, they are different kinds of games.

I know what you mean. You are right. I can do those more of a Bethesdaease game. I guess closer like a CRPG. Because that's what's kind of, they're not. No, the,

the, the Inquisition, I mean. No. Fucking origins. Yeah. Origins is more is a CRPG. They are, there's a reason why they have such a ramp like,

like before, before Larian came out and was like, oh, these games were, they were to the staple for those, like, oh, like, this game is going to drive, Dragon Age? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, that's, that's kind of the takeaway. Was that like... It's massive. It's a mess with Massifax. They are the,

they have the gridlock on fantasy and sci-fi RPGs for a long time. Yeah, that's a, that's a problem. Yeah. That is a problem that, uh, if it's not, but it's also like, it's doable because Larian fucking did it. Well, they did it, yeah. Right? It's like, okay, oh, is anything going to measure up to origins? And I'm like, I think a lot of people

would actually argue that, uh, Baldusgate 3 is better than origins. I mean, I think it's the best one. But it wouldn't be. It's like, it's like the gun, the gun is a great weapon, right? But like the bone arrows,

the reason why the gun is a great weapon because it's a preface, you know, like it steps up the ladder of getting things waiting to be. Yeah, yeah, no, it's a good. You should play it though. I think it's really played. I think there are characters in that game you would fall in love with immediately. Probably, yeah. I just did not get around.

I do. It's just fantasy that. Dude, you're, dude, that your dog. I'm like, I can't. I can't properly stress how much I miss having the dog companion. He was such a good tank man. And every game should have dogs. Dude, I don't know why every guy.

And they never returned to it. They never returned to it in the series. And then the companionship in Vailgard is fucking, you can't even, they're just, they're active, they're active skills now. That's where you, companions are active skills. So you can't switch them. You can't control them. They can't, apparently they can't die.

They can be hurt. They don't agro very well unless you have a fucking warrior that does an actual type of agro effect to take the heat off of you. They're basically after skills. And check this out. If you use one skill, all of their skills go on cool down. That's crazy. That's in the game? Yeah.

And that's not even. Mass Effect was like you can use everyone's cool downs as they come along. As they cooled down. So if you, someone's cool down, everyone's active skills on. Because they're just basically your companions are your own active skills essentially. That's the way they behave. And I'm like, okay, wait, so I can't strategize and switch between my characters like before or say sometimes even like Inquisition.

That map was so fucking big and retarded that making sure you always had a warrior with you was crucial to traveling faster because of its dash move. So you always wanted to switch to the warrior. Say you bring Cassandra with you if you're not a warrior yourself. So you would switch to Cassandra and then you would be able to essentially travel so much faster, especially if you have no traffic, fast travel while you're traversing, right, while you're treading or trekking. And things like that matter.

If even matter like that in Baldur's Gate where, hey, I want to bring a faster character with me so I can traverse faster. Or you bring a character that has like good perception so you can find the traps or something. Yes. Someone that can disarm. Right. Those things too. Of course. Of course.

That's how you let the mechanics of the game infer your story. That is how you build a RPG. Yeah. I'm so... It's weird that they... I am so hard. I am so heartbroken by that. Because that is what was a part of the game.

You would bring a Jedi with you in Coutor because they had force speed so you can move fast. Right. That was part of... That is how... That's why you bring a ranger with you. The ranger can move through swamps easier in D&D. So that's why like the ranger may be a little lacking in this department, but they're good for moving through this, right?

Yeah. When you're gonna go fight undead, you bring a paladin or clerk because that's what they... Right. So this is why, this is how you do like... Here's what they know.

It's heartbreaking. So I just want to ask you one question we got to move on. Yeah. We could talk about this literally for hours. Of course we could. Yeah. We're going to get the questions, right.

But like, I just want to ask you one question. How the fuck... How do you... What do the people that claim to love Dragon Age and everything, you know, about it,

how do you think... I'm trying to understand how they're telling, telling me the combat is like really good. Like, I'm trying to understand like the things that we've pointed out are missing. And they were crucial to the combats in the prior, in prior, the games. How are they enjoying the combat? And you're like, I'm trying to, can you, can you give me an explanation?

I look at it like this, right? Where you're playing this is a, this is an action. This is not like the other ones, first and foremost. Yeah. Even, even, uh, Inquisition was more action-packed than the other ones. Sure. And when it came to the combat. Of course.

This is that kind of game where you are playing an action game. That's what it is. It's like Kaltor to freaking Mass Effect even, you know? Cotor is a literal CRPD and it's most like insane form. Like you click, you interact, you kind of wave them and interact and you're fine with that because it's insane. In your opinion, like, how do you think they can do? How do you think they can enjoy this when they say that they do you think? Because I get, look, I want to be as terrible as possible, but this is guy kind of where I'm getting at.

were they were they fucking lying about like in the combat before were they lying about like do they like this streamlined action adventure thing better actually they didn't like people I think most people like that more because of people's attention you know some people do some people you think you think some people just to like not get shit they just kind of lie like in a way that they're like you know I didn't love but then they would just say oh man yeah the combat's great you know and they're just kind of like you know I'm saying I'm just trying to I'm just trying to some people can just figure it out like for me

I can't play I can't play regular RPGs anymore really like the ones like persona What do you mean? What do you mean? They get boring to me now Oh Especially ones where you don't There's not a like

In Baltimore you move around Oh you mean like Dynamic in the movie But once you're just like click attack I see Defend I understand Like that shit gets boring to me now

I understand Because Chris made a comment years ago That fucking made me upset And I started thinking about it That's pretty much a DVD menu Wait a way And that shit Bothered the fuck out of me

Because I was like I was playing persona He came into that That's not fucking true And I called it's not fucking true and I call them every star I can think of at the moment. What about the, you can always toggle on to where, well, I guess it's like a fast DVD menu. It's like a sped-up menu. Because you just, you need to like get on, think on your toes because they, you know,

there's like a certain amount of time before they would attack if you take too long to attack yourself. Active time is a great healer for that stuff. Like any RPG that's turn-based that I like is usually like has like some active time element. It's like C of Stars had that, Child of Light had that. Anything that has a real time element Otherwise it's just like it does feel like to me Like I'm just if like playing The original Final Fantasy 7

It felt like playing a DVD menu It really felt like because it's just like Like I feel like you could make that game on a DVD But don't they have the active thing? You can toggle it on? The remake does. The remake does. No, 7 does have it.

The original? But the problem is that it's not it's not straight. It's not very strict but it is there. Maybe it takes on the move up to wait like 20 hours I'll be back That shit bothered me so bad Because I was playing the game You told me that

And I was like That's so funny I was being like Intentionally like reductive But I looked at it And I was like You're right He died a little

I didn't change press play Pause skip And I was like It is Well it literally is like Sometimes to be Lawrence It's like okay When you click

When you click Attack It brings you into like The episodes of attack And it's like Okay This episode is like sword slash and then you click it and that it plays the MOV of a sword slash and I just like I couldn't

I can't unsee that for a lot of the active time thing does help that's like that is like a that is such a turn based it's like a term based RPG like the way that they set it up it's just it's so weird it look very weird on a console that's where most people played it yeah but like it's supposed to be like click you know like that's the whole thing you're supposed to scroll and click and that's why I think it seems so much more like a menu on a console specifically yeah probably That seems really funny because when you said that, I'm like, I know exactly what you mean. Yeah. But it's reductive as far.

It would be like saying like, oh, every shooter is just like, oh, I guess you click, just click the heads, I guess. It's like, yeah. Just click the heads. Yeah. I mean, ultimately, yeah, that is kind of what it is. But there is more. So disrespectful to like somebody that's enjoying a game. It shouldn't.

If you really like it, though, it shouldn't take it away. Because like to me, it's like chess. That's why I fucking, to me is I like to have the time to think on it because, and having a restricted amount of time is okay for me because I know in certain chess things they have the whatever that shit is. But I really like playing the old. Oh, man, we're gay now. Damn it. But yeah. That bad.

I did recoil. It happens. Whatever. Let's go. Let's go. Let's hit the questions because we're, we're kind of, we should now. We will ramble about this particular thing for like five hours. It could be.

Yeah. turn around it'll be bitch black outside I'll be like dude It is heartbreaking though It misses me It is dude it is hard It is heartbreaking It is when things like that happen

When you're like This game's built with with all these things in mind And then It comes along later Where by all accounts It should be a lot better Because technology is better You can do so much more

Things should look better There's more character There's more diversity And then having things Yeah and then you You know You get a halo game And it's just you're in the woods

The whole time and then you're like, all right. It's pretty dark. You're talking about free of infant? Yeah, it's just like, I like it, but like you are just in the woods the whole time. Like there's no like swamp, there's no tundra, there's no fucking desert, there's no nothing. It's just the fucking woods the entire time. And you're like, okay.

Now they gave that to us in a previous games, you know. Now they gave us every tundra. You got more than that on the original fucking Xbox that had like 20 megabytes of RAM or some shit. Like something, I don't know. It's weird. Let's just hope that this game sounds well. they make another one and they do a very good job I think it will sell well

Like there's games that are terrible Like Suicide Squad sold well You said that You said that is When you said the number I might I twitched a little bit Because I was like

Oh what should have happened I know like a suicide squad So I twitched a lot Gotham Gotham Knights sold a lot That surprises me because it went on sale So fast I guess that's why it sold well Yeah yeah Because I mean I think I bought

I have yet to play it You bought you see you bought it Dude I bought it when it was $5 You still bought it But yeah You still bought it. I bought it way removed. But that is part of the sales, Derek.

I don't agree. You might have been a person that's hipped it over for the sequel. I was the first. You had been that person. I was like, if we make seven more dollars, man, we'll do it. Dude,

you know what's crazy? Can you imagine? Dude, you know what's insane. No. What's insane about that, though, is that like, those things sold well and then Concord sold no exaggeration.

25,000 to 30,000 copies. But that one, like, no one knew about it. So really? Right. You are in the gaming industry specifically. That is your job. And you were like, fuck's this.

I was like, wait, wait, you? I knew about Concord. They, they, uh, I don't know. Maybe I was talking about Concord looks insane. I was talking to somebody that was just like I. When you were asking me hung on everybody, we were talking about it when you were over and it was like this game looks like fucking, this game looks like, this game looks like if you got a person that was violently autistic to draw. Star Wars characters. It looks like Chris Chan's Star Wars.

I'm so mad about the... Christian Star Wars would be fire. It would be... See, because I don't really care about Sonic. If Chris Chan started making Star Wars comics, I'd actually be remotely interested. I'd be so stoked. I'd be so stoked. If we let him do what he does and then we took it and actually like 3D animated it, it might be some gas.

have the high ground. Because I think the idea of Sonic 2, if Sonic 2 was animated, it would be like, oh, that looks like something that could have happened in Sonic. If Sonic and Pikachu never existed and Sonichu did exist, you could look at it and be like, that could be something. Yes. That could be something. You know, like that, there's a market for this maybe.

To me, Sonicchu is just Sonic with the, with the electromagnetic buff on. and someone turns yellow and someone pissed on I like the the literal eight year old concept of being pissed on where you piss on somebody and they literally turn yellow

like that is such a fucking there's a level of innocence in your mind I don't care oh when you pee and snow it turned yellow if you pee on a human being because people is snow yeah all right let's move on

let's get some questions you can write your questions over at patreon.com That's a snark tank. Do we have guns on the November 3rd already? Yeah, we have 77. You're lying.

Yeah, from when I started too. So, like, it's probably more than that. It's probably more. Our question, they get, they get really out of pocket. I posted that shit right before I came here. You always say like, oh, we got to get the question

because we have like 300 plus. So yeah. Yeah. So let's get it done. Let's get it to it. Just if people understand, we would love to read your question, but there's hundreds of them.

So just if anyone's wondering. You got to make them good. If you ask some crafty ones that don't make us think for sure. I'll say some wild shit. Cream milk crop rises to the top. We'll get you. And I do have a bias towards names

that I've never seen before. Because I try to get... So, I know people stop. Make another account and it's summing this money. Yeah, make another account also donate money through that account. I was going to say change your name, but what you said, I was like... What's that give of the black guy? He was like...

Yeah, that guy? Dude, that video... I've been looking for that video. Not that, not of that video, but like, the guy who's sweating in that, in his friend's apartment. because there's no AC Oh my god he hits him And he's like what time is it

I don't know There's an Instagram Like Maddie brought it up On today's episode I was like I can't believe You've seen that That video's so fucking hilarious It's a guy like literally

Drenched in sweat And I think the concept Is like some guys waking him up He's like oh man It's like oh yeah sorry man RAC's busted He's like oh no way You ain't got no AC

No really He goes like Yeah no I could tell I could tell What are you guys gonna fix it It's like We won't do it And it's like

Oh okay man He's wet He's wet But he's so Wax. And it's like, it is one of the funniest. That was me in my old apartment. Yeah. I didn't leave my apartment before the last one where I was just... Oh, with Joe?

Did you ever come to that apartment? I never, don't think so. I don't think so. You were in town a few times. We never came to that apartment. That was next to the liquor store that made sandwiches, right? Yeah. Mom had sandwiches, though. They weren't bad. They were bad. I had one sandwich there. It was not bad. Okay. I love liquor stores and makes it. I still... I love a drunkman making my food. Chit's late. I don't know if I once had a liquor store, uh, fried chicken. I regretted it. Yeah, I know about that. It was like a corner store, but it was a lot of liquor there as well.

Yeah. Like it was like 85% liquor than other percent store. Other percent stuff. Other percent. All right. Let's get into Man of Action here who wrote in on Patreon.com like you can at Patreon.com slash the snark tank. He says, hey, queers. This is, I guess just for me, but it reminded me of something that I forgot about.

Not really a question, but I wanted to remind Chris that he was on Dan Bull's 100-person Fortnite Rat Battle Track. with other prestigious musicians such as Tay Zunday, boy in a band, and Boogie 2988. That's true. What the hell? That is true.

What is this thing? I don't know. Dan Bull asked me, like he had like a hundred person fucking stupid battle royale rap thing because that's what Dan Bull does. And he's like, you want to do a verse on it? It's like,

well, like, not a verse, like a line or something. And I'm like, yeah, fucking why not, I don't know. I remember you practicing.

It sounds dumb. This is insane. Yeah, it sounds dumb. I like to do it. I forgot about that entirely. It's so funny that you bring that. It's so funny that you would even know what that is considering, like, I'm not like, you, listen, man of action, you would have to watch that video for a while to know that I'm in it. When was this?

When was this? She was a while ago. I don't know if that's necessarily accurate. It's Dan Bull, 100 person battle royale rap. I don't know what the fuck it is. I don't remember where I was, though. I see it. But I was deep into it.

So, like, you had to look. I don't remember, though, exactly when. To Zonde. Té Zonday's in it. It was a lot of people. It was pretty much everybody, actually. I remember because I followed somebody who hated me, and I thought that was hilarious. Or something like that.

It was like maybe like one or two lines away from somebody who could not stand me. So like they had to, they must have seen me. Hey, I understood that like, damn, I collaborated with this fucking guy. My name is Chris and I like to drink piss. My name's Chris and I'm fucking gay. I want to get a piano man. You should get a piano man. You should be a piano man, yeah.

and get an earring on your right side. No, I shouldn't. Yeah. Oh, by the way, I found... Gay, man. Do you remember that thing that I was talking about? Was it on the show that I was talking about this? Where the guy who does parodies that, like, I hate.

Yeah. That, like, I can't, because the concepts. Oh, I don't remember if it was on the show or not. It popped up on my feed and I have it. I can show you. I don't want to flame this dude. Yeah, you do. So I'm not going to bring it up on the show.

Yeah, you do. No, I'll show it to you guys after. I fucking... Oh, man. The one that popped up for me. I couldn't believe it. Are they not even that terrible? They're just like not good parodies.

I don't know how to describe. You'll understand when I show it to you because it's just the concepts are stretched and the the way it's done. The jar Chris uses for his Mary Jane figure rodent. Nah, I'm more of a. Mary Jane. Felicia. Yeah, I would have a black cat. I think I had a black cat figure or something and then I lost it because I think my mom took it from me.

She took it because it was coated and frosting. She was like, this is crazy. That's crazy. You would go to sleep holding it. She fucking got like tongs and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When did Chris find resin? Crazy.

Ray, is there resin in the house? There's resin. There's resin? Why is this caked in resin? Why is this cake? Your dad's just quiet. He's not saying a word. He's just throw it away.

I don't think I... Just throw it away. I mean, I don't think when I had... Just throw it away. To be fair, when I had that action figure, I don't know if I don't think I could. You know what I mean? Like, it was pretty fucking small. Like, I don't think

I think I just liked it. Because I was just like, I liked the looking at it. You get a tweezer's It is presidious. That's insane. The Dark Chris uses for his marriage Jane figure wrote and he says, Hey, light mode, dark mode and even darker mode. Question for Chris. What are your thoughts on the

announcement that PlayStation's Spider-Man 2 is not getting any DLC or updates moving forward? I mean, this is, I don't care. Like, I didn't like the first Spider-Man DLC, which was just like. What was it? Exactly. It had been a part of the game.

Yeah, it was just the lame. It was just boring. You met Black Cat and you found out Tombstone was a, was a gay. The terrorist. They made Tombstone like a giant hulking like robot or something. It was like, they made him a Mac. Wait, wait, wait, like the way that they did. No, not Tombstone Hammerhead.

Hammerhead. There you go. Oh, I remember that. I do remember that. Okay. Tombstone was, I know Tombstone. That's why I was even more confused. Yeah, sorry.

No, Tombstone is a normal, like. What if it was. this made up an actual tombstone. He's literally just a tombstone on wheels. And if a hammerhead, a hammerhead has fucking all of the attack that they had. It's so lame. It's so lame was in it. That's right.

To fuck you. Was his head at least big? I don't really remember. It was. It was. I don't know. The thing about Spider-Man PS4 specifically is that it's like perfectly paste. It like, it exists as a story exactly as long as it needs to.

It does not overstay its welcome. I remember finishing it being like that was satisfying. And so to extend it, And by the way, it's a really good finale. It's a good ending also. And so to then be like, hey, come back to this thing that's over now. We have some story stuff that we made in like a couple weeks. It's like this feels budget compared to like what I just came from.

It should have just been side missions. It would be like if it would be like if the last Star Wars movie, not like the of the originals. Like so like what is that one? Return of the Jedi. Revenge of the Jedi. I think it was called Revenge of the Jedi initially. But like, so that movie comes out, right? And then the movie ends normally, but there's still an hour left.

And then the hour is the Christmas special. Oh, hell yeah. Where you're just like, why. Do people hate that? The people hate that shit? I think it's like fine. You are crazy, actually. I wouldn't watch it.

See, you're the reason why the veil guard is doing so well. Don't ever say that to me. Don't watch your fucking mouth. You're a fucking veil guard. party in right now. That's actually so much worse. I'm sure some people... I don't like it.

I'm sure some people... I saw it when I was little and I was like, all right, this is weird. I don't want to talk Citi's wookies do anything, really. Wow, so it was bad. But it wasn't like, I was like, I didn't hate it. Come. Come! Imagine if the Mandalorian had an episode like that.

Would you feel the same way? Yeah, you would be really upset. That's the context that they were coming. up on. They didn't have a lot. They had the three movies and that was fucking it. And now all of a sudden, oh, new fucking new Star Wars and it's the Christmas special. You would be, you would be furious. I don't know. I don't think so. I think it was, I think it was straight to VHS. Someone would have got killed. Someone would have got killed that was with you. That was after Mark Hamel had his fucking roller coaster or something too, right? Like what happened to him? Did that happen? He got hurt. I know he did get hurt. I thought he got hit by a roller coaster.

Oh, bats that hurt. That, ow. He just doesn't laugh. If I got hit in the face of the roller coaster, I, I too, would laugh like I was insane. I guess that's all you would be insane. Because that's all you can do. Because you would be insane. What do you mean? He got hit and he became liberal.

He became a leftist immediately. That's why he became elected. Is that what happened? Boom. I can't. I can't allow bigotry in the world of this. Yeah. That's fucking great.

But yeah, no, I don't know. I don't want more Spider-Man 2 DLC. Spider-M2 was fine. I think it was pretty good. I think the parts are pretty good. pretty good. I think they should have put wikis in Tuscan Raiders in the DLC. Wait, the sounds, Tuscan

Raiders, I used to be able to mimic them when I was younger. And my grandma told me not because I did it in church once. She was like, they think you're retarded. Don't do that again. I was like, okay. He did that in church? I did it in church once. They're like, they sound funny. Our father, die,

Lord. That kingdom come. That will be done. That is one of the most insane things I've ever heard. saying. You impersonated a Tuscan Raider in church. She was, she heard that she looked at me with like bewilderment.

She was like, that'd be like, that's fucked. It would have been better if I'd shut myself there. I'm thinking about it now, but like, it's it would get my dad canceled technically. But like I remember we would he would be, he would try

to embarrass us in person. Like whenever we would like be out sometimes. and so he would like pretend to be like retarded. That's amazing. He would pretend to be retarded like while like with me at like a Walmart or whatever just to fuck with me. Like the dad's the retarded. Yeah. I'm just like I'm just remembering this.

That is a fantastic bit because think about the like wait, the dad. Yeah, yeah. It was retarded and it made a completely on the level sun. Yeah. That's awesome. It's like forest gum. My grandma can't do that. I mean because she's too like

prim and proper I put together person She's too anti But I She could not out Where's the McDonald's You would You would really

Dedicate himself to it It's sort of like the The mad TV Fucking fucking Yeah The fucking boy And his mom Yeah

He's like go inside man I don't want to go inside I'm good And I don't want to go inside It's all drooling and shit I do that shit to I do that shit to Lily Whatever he's like

Don't make a scene I'm like You want me to make a scene I'll pull my pants down and scream like a disabled person right now. Dude, I remember being... I will go further than anyone else always in public. You what's the worst...

I don't care. What is the worst public experience in public that you've ever had? In public? Yeah. I don't know. Or not in public, not in public necessarily, but like in a public place. When you were actually being... Okay, go ahead.

I remember working at Sears and walking into the bathroom and seeing a literal, like, it must have been... This kid must have been like seven or like six shitting on the floor. Let's go Like wait Okay hold on Hold on Oh man

You almost turned it to a Tuscan Raider Dude that would have been sick to drip You should just dress Because they're kind of I mean They got some They got some drip no I think it looks cool

Yeah so yeah Yeah yeah just like that The teeth stuff The teeth stuff's what messes I mean that's weird Like that Why would you dress up Halloween's over

I'm not even I'm not talking about Halloween At all Oh just in general Yeah To me if it was Halloween I'd be like boring Okay

Yeah You're dressed up. That's weird. I dress up on fucking Christmas and then run around and scare the fuck out of children. I want you to like, like one day

just show up to the podcast and you're, yeah. That's fucking noise. That's the kind of thing that would like scare a dog. You know what I mean? Like a dog would bark at.

You ever chase a dog around like a... Until I give up? Yeah. Have you ever chased the dog like Halloweenly? I definitely would trap my friend's dog in a basement. What do you mean? Like you're a fucking monster?

Like Halloweenly, yeah Halloweenly, I didn't know that was a Adverb? Adverb? That's not how it is. That's not a word. What is it? Halloweenly.

Halloween would be adjective though. Yeah, yeah. No, leave it. No, would it be an adverb? Like I said. What's an adjective? No, you're right. You're right.

You're right. Incredible is an adjective. Yeah. Oh, you're right. Yeah, exactly. Halloweenly is adverb. If you say Halloween, it describes it. Like, what is that?

That's Halloween. But you see how described it? I feel like if I said, have you ever chased someone Halloweenly. I feel like people would understand what I'm saying. First they would kind of, and then they're like, I think I know what he means. Like in a spooky way.

In a spooky way. Yeah, yeah. In like a lumbering kind of like way. They freak the fuck out. What I do is I'd wait until my dog would go to bed and then I would play like fog or something and wake it up. That's. And then like wait a little bit of like fog or something to wake it up over and over again. I wake myself up too, but we'd be going crazy together.

There really is something funnier than a dog waking up in fear. Like, when it, like, when it freaks the fight and it starts running, but it hasn't moved yet. They do run. That's just funny. Yeah. It's really funny, but it's also sad because I've done that to my dog before. We're not supposed to do it too.

It was a thunderstorm, right? And then thunder struck pretty close to where my house was. Or the boom was really close where I was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

You're right. You're right. Yeah. You're right. Go ahead. But it happened. And my dog freaked out in the bed with me and started running on me pretty. much. And I was like, stop.

Stop. Stop. You're scratching me a lot. You're scratching me a lot. Please stop. He scratches your back so deeply that he cuts all your spinal cords. He just wolverines me by mistake. Taking some of your disc out. He's getting shorter. Oh, my God. Your legs are

just as long. And you're funny. I look like what is the character's name? I like walking on my hands. How could you? Your dogs? my dog does that too that would that's the

the ultimate what is that fucking noise anyways they're like a mating call what the fuck is that that's not I speak but like it's just their verbiage

so they just scream to talk yeah I almost said something so wildly racist all right let's move on I almost said something so crazy

I mean we're thinking it all right Sweeney would love Harry Potter if Harry was black yeah you would He'd be a better character, probably. It would just be the same thing, but he would just say the N-word. I mean, there's already a black character named Sirius Black.

Okay. No, no. Yeah. He's not a black, unfortunately. But he's my favorite character. His name is Sirius Black. His name is literally Mr. Black. Serious.

I think it's such a cool name. I think it's stupid. But I'm tainted by... His name isn't like serious, like being serious. His name is serious like the consolation. No, it's serious like he's very serious. A serious person. No.

It's a consolation. That's why... Everybody in his family is there are... No, it's literally like, his name Sirius, that's why when... His name is Siri? No. The phone is Black.

No. It's Black. Serious Nehruid. No, I think his name's serious. And then like, that's why that scene where the clown comes in and says, why so serious? Oh. It's so iconic.

Yeah, yeah. I never thought about that. That makes perfect sense. We should make movies, bro. We should make films. It'd be crazy. Yeah. It'd be crazy. I mean, we are in Burbank.

We should just fucking go. We just don't talk to somebody. We know something. Someone, that'll be like... Just take two sledgehammers to Warner Brothers right now, bust through. Be like, I got a pitch for you. No, everybody, someone listen to my... You have a fucking...

Oh, Bobbi demer. Like, if someone listen to my pitch. Or else I'll turn this place into Newtown. Yeah. Well, Newtown's a nice place, actually. Yeah, but it'll... But Newtown will be nuked, so you turn into Newtown. Right, right.

That was a stretch. I did not think of that at the time at all. Of course he did. Of course he did. No, of course not. Anyway, yeah, let's move on. So that guy writes in, Sweeney would love Harry Potter if he was black.

Says, answer my question, you dumb cucks. It's relax. Not a cuck. Not a cut. It's not true. No. What's the least offensive slash worst thing, wait, least offensive or, oh, I guess either or, that any of you all would do to have to consider kicking one another off the show.

Nothing major if possible. I want to see how patient slash petty you can be with each other. I am so not petty that it's insane. So I don't know. It'd have to be like Chris, like assaulted Lily. I'd be like, dude, why? I'm sure I had my reasons. I think...

If she started it. I would agree, but also, like, you didn't have to do that. Just like, call you top. Fuck you, Chris. And it starts clawing at your face. And then you got to... How does nails grow way too long? Lady Death strikes now.

She's... It starts clawing. At that point, you got a fucking fatal claw her, you know? Chris jump me in the middle of my living room. And then fucking fatal calls breaks my fucking door and my roof. I'm like, what are you? doing you can do that.

Droid everything. I think if one of you got irritatingly right wing, I would have to cut you. But like to a degree that it would be like disconnected from reality. Like you know what I mean? Like what we were talking about earlier? Like before we were recording. Like disconnectedly right way. Anytime we had any type, yeah, anytime we had political, any type of discourse on the show,

it was just completely, people would want to pull their fucking hair out essentially. You'd have the kicks what it was for the show. Let's say, let's come to. middle ground in a... Let's come on a middle ground. You say I should be killed. I say you should be killed. Why exactly do you not like this guy?

Yeah. Do you think what are the gays, uh, what are they, what are they offer to the world, though? Let's be honest. Like, like, I'm not even trying. I'm not, I'm not trying to be big. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just asking to be. I am on a bi-loss. I'm just asking questions.

So that would be the, that would be my petty reason. Honestly, though, like the worst that, like, I, you would have to, you would have to be like a pedophile or something. Yeah, it would have to be sexual crime. It's the real one. It would have to be sexual crimes. You'd have to be a pedophile or a rapist. Yeah, it's one of those things.

That's like a, you know. But that's the obvious. You could be a criminal and I would be fine. Like you could be like literally like, it's like, oh, I steal things. Or like, I don't care about that. Or like, you'd be like, hey, hey guys, I've murdered somebody. It's like, that's not ideal. I've had friends.

Are you funny still? Are you funny still? Is this traumatized? Has this traumatized you to not be, you can't be funny anymore? I have friends who are, have been villains. And I like hung on and played smash. Bros with them, you know. Yeah.

Like, to what extent? They're villains. Like, they are villains. Now, you have a, you have a, your threshold is pretty high. It's kind of crazy. Yeah, pretty high. I don't, I don't give up on people very easily. It takes a lot for me to be like, oh, I'm done with this person.

I definitely know, like say sexual crimes. And I would say, that is too far. I would say violent crimes of people who I would deem like just, you know, like kind of like child, like innocent. So that could also be like, you know, slow people, old people who are just like, Oh, Per is really racist. You're listening to harm, I'm pretty sure.

Damn, you put me in a weird spot. You got to be dubious. Well, you put me to which spot. You really did because it's like, normally I'd want to see a racist person's face smashed in, but I was like, well, people are so fragile. You kind of have to just like,

like leave them alone. They're going to go away soon anyways. Kind of how I feel like. You're just like, you're one good slap and he breathes. But that's he's dead. Like, that's the thing.

They're so fragile. Even if you push them, they'll probably die. You remember that one guy that the cops were like, dude, that shit made me feel so. He bled out of his ears. He bled so quickly.

That old person. I think that you're laughing. Because it's so horrible that it's like, it is. Even I'm not laughing. I want you to understand that. His brain exploded. Whoa. Whoa.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. That's what happened. He's like turning on a faucet, dude. It's insane. I was like, oh my God. There's a crazy way in this crap.

It's wild. Because like I've never seen that happen before. No. Why are you crying? Because it's so fantastical. It's so crazy. He didn't even push him hard. Like the cops shouldn't have pushed him.

No. But he didn't push him hard. He went like, and then he flipped 15 times and cracked his head. That shit was really sad. It is one of the saddest things I've ever seen. But it is also crazy. Like I remember looking at that being like, how frail is a person? Like I remember like, because it didn't seem like it was that crazy of a fall either.

I can't even laugh at that anymore. That's the thing that's what's so. one of the reasons why I refuse to live to get that old. No, one of the reasons I refuse to street fight anymore is because how easy it is to accidentally kill somebody if you knock them out.

Oh, yeah. So just hating your head bouncing off the concrete is a sure way that you could just go to prison even if you defended yourself. Right, yeah. It's not worth it. Yeah. The last street fight I got into,

I was about like 18, 19. Uh-huh. And the moment someone pulls a gun on you, your perspective is like, I'm done doing this. Yeah. Like that shit, that shit like all the bravado and toughness got yanked the way and I was a naked afraid child. I was like, oh no, this guy has a gun. This guy started a fight with me.

I defended myself and he pulled a gun on me. That is crazy. I feel so, I feel so, I feel so. I don't know what the word I'm looking for, but just I pity them so much when when people do shit like that. when I'm like you're so afraid to just get you know getting beaten up which really in the moment is actually kind of if if you've ever really been in a fight in the moment getting beaten up's kind of not really that bad

unless we get beat really really really to me it's more if you get if you get jumped because if you get jumped you really don't even have time your adrenaline doesn't really have time to kick in properly because you're kind of just getting your ass whooped versus if you got to grab one of them that's jumping you and then just start biting it that's start chewing on it. It's a big difference because, you know, everyone talks about fight or flight.

Your adrenaline is going to make you do one of the two things. You're either going to step up or you're going to be, I'm fucking out of here. And if you get jumped, your brain doesn't really process that like fight or flight thing because you're already like, oh, fuck. Somebody pulls it got on me. Somebody pulls it got on me. I'm going to rush them. Dude, the last time I did a cartwheel, this is how fucking out of shape I am, I damn near. I didn't think that was possible.

It hurts so bad, dude. You had to sit down. I didn't even think that was possible. I think I could still cartwheel. Because you're just like, it's not like I'm doing the splits. I'm just doing a cartwheel, but I was like,

oh. So yeah, I'm fucked. Yeah, no, fucking, I don't know. Don't have fights in the street.

You would have to, yeah, you would have to, it's so stupid. Even if you're a trained fighter, even if you have like your time learning how to fight, like I know how to fight correctly.

Don't take kicks in advice. Yeah, ignore my advice and go out and pick fights all you want. You should fight with guns in the street. but like what I mean is like yeah exactly like their brash knuckles or something throwing a gun out the floor of somebody to kill somebody like grabbing an AK 47 grabbing an AK 47 by the barrel and beating somebody to death of it is crazy that is that's brutal that's like fucking punisher shit and then you shoot them after their day and then you fucking

blow the head off that is Frank Castle shit dude that is Frank Castle shit fucking but like that's a murder for no reason but yeah I think did you parking on registered spot I'm gonna fuck you up imagine the freaking the Frank whatever Yeah, yeah. You think I'm fucking with you. Yeah, but I think ultimately, like, yeah, you'd have to be, you'd have to be like a Dejy or, or like an Epstein. Or I guess like one of the lower level things, or not lower level, but like lower level of the extreme level is like if you like were like abusive to like animals. Oh.

You know, I'd be like. Yeah, I can't tolerate that. Yeah. That's a good one. Like if you like kick the dog across a room and it and it hit like a ceiling. fan and got diced into pieces. Damn. I don't know if I get... That's where my line is. That's specifically. You can get a dog

all across your apartment, but if it hits the fan, I'm out. If you kick a dog in general, you're a psycho and I don't want to talk to. Well, I don't know what, in general. Like, if you're being attacked by a fucking pit bull, I'll kick the shit out of that pit bull. Yeah. If you, defense is always different, man. Yeah, yeah. But a fucking, like, a chihuahua or something or like a poodle. Well, even like a big dog, if some motherfucker just comes up to a big dog and kicks it in the face, I'm like,

what the fuck are you doing? Well, but I mean, even in a even in like a defensive. Oh, you mean a defense? I wouldn't got you. Kick a chihuahua. You know? Yeah, that's, that is insane because you literally could just pick it up and then move it away. Yeah, backboard.

Yeah, backboard. That is insane. But yeah. Half court. That would be the line. Anyway, I shit literal, I shit literal bricks. Please help me. No.

He says, hey, no. It says, hey, swine, dream and cream. What is the straightest thing you've ever done that wasn't straight sex? No personal. correlation, just want to see. It's a good question, actually. Working out is the straightest gay thing ever. So the straightest straight thing I've ever done is like...

The straightest straight thing ever. I think I actually... I... Grilling. Grilling. I remember I printed out... I printed out a photo of a model. And I hung it on my wall for exactly three minutes.

And I was like... Like, I don't know if I like this. I don't know if I wanted. Like, because I remember I would see that in movies a lot. Like, I remember like being a kid and thinking like, oh, like teenagers just do this. Like they have like pinups. That's before the computer though. I guess.

But like, yeah, I didn't think about it that way because that was just my understanding of what being a teenage boy was. Is that like you have a, you have the Farrah Fawcett poster or like you have the fucking, you know, some model on your wall or some like bikini fucking something. And I was just like, why don't I, oh, why don't I have one of those? Why don't I care to do it? I should care to do it. So I did it and then I immediately just didn't want it anymore. Imagine having to go back to not having porn. Like people didn't have the ability to watch pornography.

They had to have magazines. Life was simple. Life was simple because all you had were magazines or whatever the fuck. And then you just, that was the equivalent of the hardcore shit that people watch now. So they would just, they would bust and then they go about their lives. Imagine giving someone from like the 70s like here. Watch this fucking in-depth pornography. And just seeing them.

die. They would die. Seeing a light in their eyes go dark. I would go further than the 70s and just see, I want to see somebody who has no concept of like even cinema and like, and then they're like something in the 18, 1840s. Yeah, dude. And they're like, oh, like they just, their eyes just start melting because it's too much. It's too. That is, I think their boner would pop.

I think it would just be too much. Like, this is too good. That's like a, here. What's that guy? Give Jesus porn as a kid to corrupt him. Jesus. That is crazy. Hardcore hentai.

No, my son, stop. He's like, no, fuck you guys. This shit's fire. Hentai especially would be crazy. It's tentacles and these giant tits and milk is exploding out of them. And he's like, God's like, no. You turn Jesus into a deviant.

He's not evil, but he's like not a good guy. My son, no. He's as strong as me. I fucked up. My son that I'm actually, I am. him too, but no. That behavior is crazy, though, when I think about it. Like, you would just hang up a pinup model

on your wall. And, like, that was just kind of it. And that was, like, what you would do. Well, they would jack off to that. Right. No, but think about this in content. Imagine if you had, like, one of those digital picture frames. And it was just porn on it.

And it was just on your wall in your room. And your parents would come in and be like, are you hungry? And the porn would be like, bro. Like, it's insane that you would just have this thing that you understood like, oh, that's, yeah, that's what he's jerking. That's what he's jerking off to. It's dissent. It's like, oh, it's just a picture of a girl.

It's definitely, they're definitely, they know what it is, but they don't acknowledge it. It's one of those things that I, to this day, I'm so annoyed because this is not, I know what my mom thought, but this is not what it was. So, like, I had a, I had this shirt that, um, I was really sick. And then I had this shirt that was in the corner of my bed. And I didn't want to get up. Oh, no. And it wasn't so, like, I just basically.

Basically, I didn't want to get up, but like I was coughing a lot and stuff. And I just like, remember, I spit on the shirt because I just, I didn't want to get out of my bed. I was, it was just a lazy, gross teenager thing. Yeah, yeah. And like, there's spit. Like, so it looks like dry cum, I guess. And I remember my mom, like, she did one of those rare, like, she cleaned up my room

thing. I always hated that. Oh, yeah. Probably looking for some shit. But like, I was like, bitch, I'm clean. You know, like, but then she clearly saw that shirt. And I'm like, oh, my God. And I thought, I was like, should I explain?

I didn't hear that that's not what you think. But I was like that thing, I think that's even more awkward than, you know, just. Because of gross is you trying to lie. Yeah, like even trying to like, just talking about come to my mom at all.

One of the best things about being a parent is I'm going to, when having a children, if I have a child, I can't wait to see my children squirm in those conversations. I went to see them so fucking like, like, so you're in your, you're in your masturbating,

weren't you son? Wow. I just hope I, I never, I just hope that I never, because like my, like, we never had any conversations about.

that. I was even at my highest, like when I was like 13, I was, it was under control. So it was never like nothing never needed to be said and I hope I have a relationship like that with my kids to where I don't have to. I don't want to talk about jacking off my kids.

I don't care. I prefer not to. Like I'll inform them because I need to inform them because if I don't inform them, I don't know who's going to. That's what my responsibility comes from. I guess but you're assuming like just from my like my perspective, I didn't have anybody guide me and I turned out completely fine. Oh, you're absolutely true. Right. But there's a lot of people that are not you.

We live in a world where clearly a lot of people are not as sane as us. So it's like a people outside of like your home might show them some crazy shit. Yeah, it's like, look, dude, you do this. That's fine. It's no big deal. Keep it confined to your room. Please. I would embarrass them so much.

Oh, look, because Lily's fucking. I put a ring camera inside the house and you can't, you know what I mean inside a room. You be in a dick. I love that's like big brothers I'm watching you I would make I would make church bells trium or something like that

You gotta go under the covers to even like remolding you're like You're like trying to make sure There's a ring cam on your cover That is great There's just ring cameras fucking everyone On everything In your covers

in your pillowcase. You spent thousands of dollars. You are not able to buy food for two months. You are getting a good laugh. Yeah, I'm not going to be able to pay rent, but this is worth it, Lily. I think stuff like that is really like, I don't know. I don't mind. It's like, because I think.

So crazy. I think we need to inform people with stuff because a lot of, a lot of dudes, man. We are, we got to be aware. A lot of dudes were not taught about that shit healthily. And that's why a lot of them have the behaviors they do, where it's just like, you need to learn how to respect anything. Anything. Let a home woman be like anything that walks, dude.

You're crazy. Yeah, that's unfortunate that, I don't know. I imagine my kid. Because I never had a conversation either. My grandmother was too fucking, even though she was a doctor, she was like, hey, make sure you get tested before you have a new partner. That's about it. I think my parents just, like, relied on the school.

Health care. Or not healthcare, the health, sex ed. Yeah, sex ed. Yeah, but we did live in a place. It was better. It was better than like fucking Kentucky, where they're like, God's going to cut your fucking nuts off. So don't be fucking.

Don't be fucking. Use corn. I know it fucking feels amazing, but you got to not do it. Don't be fucking, especially homosexual. Don't be fucking each other if you're the same. If you fuck each other and you're the same, it's hard to stop and it's evil. And it's hard to stop at it's evil. Trust me, I'm aware.

Trust me, I don't know anything about it. Trust me, I don't know. Trust me, I'm aware. I like men. way too much and it hurts me not liking me. And to be fair, like I thought our sex ed was pretty solid. Like it was like, okay. Yeah, okay. So this is what's going on.

I thought mine was ass, but it was like whatever. You went to a fucking you went to a fucking, you went to a fucking, you went to a fucking class in was like 13 or whatever. Went to a school in the slums. Yeah, you went to fucking askeman basically. Me on a picture screaming. Yeah. Damn, that's, they're pretty intense. magically captured that and put that on a paper.

Like, Sirius Black screaming, gnarling at a camera. It's so funny because Sirius Black is so not evil. Like, they made him seem like such a bad guy. He was not bad at all, but his last name was Black. Serious Negroid. Serious Black nigger. It's like Freakizoid. Negrozoid.

I don't know how he felt about that show. Freakazoid? It felt weird. I didn't, I watched it when it came on, but I don't, I don't, it was weird. It was one of those things where I would watch. It was like a home improvement to me where I would watch it when it came on, but I was like, I don't know if I actually liked this. I didn't like it as much as Tiny Tunes or, um, what the fuck?

Animaniacs. Animaniacs. I thought Animaniacs is hilarious. Dude, good idea, bad idea still holds up. Yeah. A lot of that stuff still holds up honestly. Like, like, original animaniacs is a good show. A lot of the references are obviously dated because there's like celebrities there that like,

Like, only animators who were like 29 at the time knew about. That is 100 to true. It was just like, you know, oh, these fucking people from like the 40s or whatever the fuck. But. I'm Ralph Cramden. It's me. Ralph Cramden. And it's like, who?

The fuck is that. But a lot of those, yeah. Animatics. Was the old, the therapist, the bald therapist of the glasses? He was like, now, yeah. What do you all? I forgot his fucking name. There's a wonderful references

because, you know, obviously. Dr. was it lip shits? No, that was the fucking... Lipshits was from Rugrats. Rugrats. Yeah. What the fuck was it?

That was his name. You need to cut off his peepee. Oh, that's bothering me. Are you sure, doctor? Yes, you'll feel much better. And then we'll suck it. I'll suck it off like, and then we'll have the herpes break out there and the things.

The baby will have it, nothing. The baby will happen. And then I swear I'm not a pedal. His hair is Dr. Scratch and, Sniff. Dr. Scratch and Sniff?

Yeah, because his nose was fucking huge. That's, oh man. What do you look like? He looks, uh... Oh. I mean, that's a really bad illustration. I mean, that's never how he looked ever. Oh.

What the fuck? Where is he? Why is he so difficult to find? He was this guy. He's dead. This fella. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.

Now, Yako. Right. What do you want to do? Dr. Baskanovich. Uh, anyway. What the fuck were you doing? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Phantom Rosewood 2, Divine Swendl of Chaos wrote in.

The hell is that? That's a dumb fucking fake video game I made for an ad once. That's a Ubiocard name. Phantom Rosewood 2. I forgot about that. Hello, my favorite near-sided Hispanic wizard, Derek Whitman, and Thomas King Jameson, Sweenard, the 3rd. What is your favorite fruit?

And if you say banana, you're gay. Or a minion. I mean, that is gay. Yeah, you can only You know, if you eat a banana to its completion Yeah, you always have to throw out half of it Yeah, otherwise you're gay What are you fucking talking about?

This guy's gay over here probably Like same thing Right at the end of my popsicle And then I'm like, okay Yeah I cut I eat my popsicles I eat my popsicles with a fork in knife Thank you

I go I break the top of it off And I fucking lick it out of my fucking hand Like a fucking dog Yeah I always a point and laugh at men when I see them licking ice cream cones like from McDonald's you see them they'll grab the cone

and lick like a little I'm not immediately make them uncomfortable I'm not even joking I've been I've been a I've been really craving

like a salt like a pro like I feel like ice cream most of the ice cream that I've had in my adult life has been just like you know out of a fucking bucket or like in like a like a

like a mowp bucket yeah like a pale basically a janitor's bucket a pail a pot or a paler or pan yeah I've always just eaten it out of a fucking I don't

basically just the fucking receptacle I only eat ice cream that's melted and out of my palm yeah that's insane but no I've I've been like really wanting I've been really like wanting like a soft serve like like an old school like fucking Carvel fucking soft serve and I just I don't even know where the that's the best thing about McDonald's is get they do that though if it works well see it was so they got sued into oblivion because they were it was it was a whole it was a real conspiracy

So they had this one company. It wasn't McDonald's fault. McDonald's fucked with the company because this company that made the ice cream machines had the monopoly on fixing the machines. And so they made them fuck up all the time. So then they had to keep fixing making money. So they corrected that. So now, because there used to be an app that would track that shit. The app's no longer serviceable really because the machines mostly work now. The myth of them not working that much anymore is just kind of like in our, it's almost like a Mandela. It's like a holdover. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So it's actually, I've tested that theory because getting a lot of, like when Jojo first came down, we got a shitload of ice cream, gained a bunch of weight. It was like it was great.

But yeah, the machines almost always worked in multiple things. Going in Cali haven't had any problems except for... Did they do soft serve at McDonald's? Yeah. So the cones,

they used to be a dollar. They're like two bucks now or something. These would be chocolate dip too. They used to have a dutch ones. I haven't had ice cream in so long, dude. And some of them have large ones. So they'll be like,

like some restaurants have a large torts like comically big yeah but uh i would i would suggest i think there's a dairy queen around or somewhere right maybe outside of the umal so dairy queen has a is a deer queen in the mall derbyn has a good soft sir it's just expensive yeah i might it's getting to that i i like i actually like ice screaming like vaguely like not cold weather but like i actually we're getting here i'm that guy yeah so you could you could eat it outside it's not going to melt immediate. That was always the frustration in the summer. It was like it is refreshing. I get it but like it just it fucking fell apart so

quickly. So like now it's like ideal I haven't seen anything like that in a while like I haven't had ice cream in a while like in a week I can finally have orange juice again and I'm so fucking excited. That's that's so funny to me. I'm so excited. It's like it's like it's like it's like a kid being excited for apple juice you know like they're like yeah it's like to me I'm like kid that's all that's all you get you know like I've been working as I've been for so I feel like kind of gross about it but I actually can like

I'm gonna I got sick I pissed off that like I was seeing like the progress especially in the midsection like shrink and then you stagnate and then I fucking bought

I had a slice of pizza and some pasta last night I'm like no what am I doing oh did go to that place all my close I did go dude I don't know what it might be the it might be the pepperoni

something does not agree with me acid wise so I just got two pepperoni same I had a pepperoni slice from there too it was cold and that's why it might have been it was probably cold but it did not make me feel good.

I order a cold slice. I got back. Don't you fucking heat that up. Oh. Did you fucking heat you like grab his hands? Freeze that shit, nigga. Freeze it.

Yeah, yeah. Put that shit in the freezer. It was good though. I liked it. Big ass slice. The little got the little cup the pepperonies. Yeah.

Those things are cute. I like them. But man, I had a, because I got two slices and I ate them over two days and I had a horrible two days. Or I'm like, damn, I don't feel good. Oh, weird. Yeah.

You said you had like what from there? The meatballs. The meatballs. The meatballs are fired. I got to try that. I didn't end up going because I was walking and I went back inside

to take a shower and then I was just like I don't feel like walking on all the water with it. Yeah, you can't fight I mean you could, whatever it's fine

I don't know I just I really needed to shower the thing like I felt like gross and I was just like I can't leave my store showering it's really bad I can't leave that house

that's not a bad thing at all it's like a really reason well don't even no even if it's a fire I'm like I'm going to go shower well that's well that's what you be safe

everything's burning I'm like you would be I love I love that idea of the pilot is protecting you. He would be safe. You would be wet. You would be in water.

You don't have to worry about a fire if you were in the shower. How many people you think actually tried that? They're like the front door got fog. Quickly in the shower. There's a fire. Quickly fill the tub. You're boiling in the fucking... Your skin is...

Your skin is peeling off. You're just like... No, it's not. And a fire is done. They go to like move everything off there. Yeah. And then you're just in a... fucking warm hot tub bag.

Yeah, you're fucking like that. You're in another state. Like, you just, and they're like, wow, this guy's, this guy's the real deal. This guy's, uh, he's a, I never see this stupid movie called, I think it's called, uh, Sunshine. It's actually a good movie. Uh, it's a sci-fi movie where,

it's called Sunshine. It's where the, the sun has been fucked, right? In the future. And they need to go essentially, it, because the world's dying, essentially.

And some guy went up there a long time ago. It sounds like it was like a sci-fi horror thing. Okay. That's cool. It's a really cool fucking movie. It's a really cool movie. It's actually a really fun movie. But this guy becomes like a maniac because he became obsessed with the sun and became like a maniac and he was all fucking burning gross.

It's actually a really good movie. You should watch it. You should watch it. Have you heard about that movie roar? Roar. I don't think so. So it's called Roar and like I think it was like about I don't even know. I don't know what the premise of the movie is, but the conceit of it is that.

is that it's about people trying to escape lions but they used real lions and people were getting fucking mauled all the time and so the whole movie

is just people authentically running away from like real lions I saw Mark Marron post about it of all people like for some reason I saw like a real

or like a TikTok from Mark Maron he was just talking about this movie I was like what the fuck Mark Marrins on TikTok I guess yeah it doesn't mean I ran, dude, I ran into him walking out of Jalen's building.

Well, really? Yeah, like, so I guess, like, I don't know if Mark Maron lives. It is a nice building, to be fair. I could see that. But, like, it is like one of those things. It was like, what the fuck? I opened the door. It was just Mark Maron.

I was just, like, I think he understood that I recognize him, but like, I didn't say anything because I was like, am I fucking crazy? Yeah, yeah. Why the fuck would I run into Mark's Marion right now? But, yeah, that movie's insane. But, uh, so fruit. No bananas. Otherwise, you're gay. Oh, yeah.

No gave them. Mangoes are pretty... Pretty good. A mango with like... I've said this before on the show, but like I'm... Like, you slice open a mango and you like squeeze a lime on it. And it is like...

Fucking candy. You kind of like... And it's so good. And it. You know, and fuck it and like, you know, and come in it and then eat it. I saw that one time and I was like... A motherfucker was fucking...

Was it a papaya? Was that what that was? I just remember motherfucker fucking a melon or something. And I'm like... I'm like that coming in a melon and give it. This, why he's so fucking dastardly. You put the, you put the part back in.

And then you put like, you fucking like somehow seal it. You somehow seal it. Mangoes are top tier. You didn't entertain the idea. Yeah, he's like, no, I'm good. I can't. I can't. I thought it was a grapefruit that people were fucking.

Oranges, sir. Oranges are pretty. Valencia oranges. And they're barely available because big orange juice steals them all. Big orange. Which is real, actually. Because. Yeah.

used to be available and then they're not. You can't buy Valencia oranges almost nowhere. That's sad. It's really sad. Yeah. They're like, oh, use them all for I guess people's water supplies are disappearing because of almond milk. And I was like, that sucks because I love almond milk. Sorry, guys. Yeah. I'm actually, sorry, you're going to have to drink shit water. Chris, how do you say

how do you say orange and Spanish? Oh my God. Oronja. Naranhas, right? Narangas how you say, but do you as a family say Arangha or they say chinas? I don't know if I've ever really heard them. Honestly, a lot of the Spanish, like, stopped being spoken around the time that my grandma passed. So, like, I don't really remember.

In my family's group chat, they say China. They say, who go to Chinas? And I'm like, what the fuck are you guys? I remember that. And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? But I remember, no, I remember both. It would not as how you say it. Like Chinese is.

Well, because of Mandarin oranges. Yes. Yeah, yeah. But it's like. So it makes sense. It's like, what are you guys talking about? I don't remember I don't remember

I remember I remember Hugo de China but I don't remember who would in Aronah but at the same time we would just say orange juice Like most of the time Orange juice was like a staple To the point where we weren't like

Coding it Yeah you know I love oh my God dude I like orange juice it's just It's very acidic to me now Wait just my asses I've gotten older I can't But also he knows I would eat

Don't drink way too much of it You drank a fucking Like you drank I'm a stout of a stout that you didn't have just holes in your fucking stomach. That you don't have ulcers is crazy. My blood is... Maybe that he doesn't know of.

He's probably always constantly in pain. He's just so much. But I'm so fine. You've just dealt with you've ascended. Yeah. I've hurt... Life is hurting. A glass of orange juice every once in a while is pretty good, though.

It's like a treat for me where it's just like, oh, it's been a while I'll have this. Or something like chocolate milk or something where it's just like, I haven't had chocolate. I haven't had chocolate milk in years. I've had it forever. I just... I want like chocolate... I don't fuck with milk anymore, man. That's the thing.

Yeah. I fuck with like almond milk. And sometimes oat a little bit too creamy, but almond milk to me, like you can get a vanilla almond milk. It's fuck. It just tastes good.

Fuck cow milk compared to vanilla almond milk. It's amazing. And get like a cinnamon toast crunch. Get like... Holy shit. You get vanilla almond milk and cinnamon toast crunch. My grandma would make...

My grandma would make pancakes with almond milk. She'd make pancakes with an almond milk. It'd be fine. fucking fire. Oh, man. Because my grandma was lactose intolerance so she started drinking on-voke before everybody else started doing it.

When you make pancakes, do they come out like at like a diner? I'm terrible at making pancakes. You know this. You've seen you make pancakes. I don't think I don't remember that. I'm terrible.

I kind of have a kryptonite with making the batter. I can't. Really? For some reason. I've done it so many times. I fucked the batter up all that. I'm talking about a week or two ago. So I bought a new waffle iron.

I was like, fuck yeah, I'm going to test this thing out. I can, pour the shit on the skillet and cook amino you just need butter you crisp the fucking sides you know like whatever for a pancake so I'm like I'm gonna use this fucking thing and then I follow the instructions they were fucking so I would cook so watery I criss the fuck out of the outsides and then you pick it up it's gooey on the inside and I'm like I followed the recipe

isn't that what baking is supposed to be I'm so when I usually make things yeah I make my fried chicken right I don't follow a recipe I just I get my flour kind of I kind of I know what I need you know but like I'm like I have to follow the recipe I'm not a good baker doesn't work even when I follow the instruction so Jojo will make the ratio and then I can pour it after or make the waffle it's fuck I don't know I don't know what it is it's a weird thing that I never conquered yeah I don't know I'm not good at making fucking I am I'm unreasonably good at making bagger you are I don't know I don't know why I make good french toast I will make the fuck out of French toast what is what is it what is your recipe what is the recipe is really simple is it's cinnamon some brown sugar eggs and a little bit of milk and a couple of eyelashes and a couple of A couple of busts To me

I'm actually Look at man How do you make your Is it different? No it's actually Very similar It's actually very similar Sometimes I just add a little bit of

I add a little bit of salt Into mine So but like Sometimes a little bit It might be It depends Because some people don't like it But like I like a little bit

Of seasoned salt in it It actually kind of enhances the flavor for me But it's relatively the same What you just said I want to make French toast Probably tomorrow I fucking can't eat eggs anymore. Oh, no.

My favorite breakfast item I can't have anymore. That's French toast. Yeah. And then, you know what? It's annoying. The niggas is like French toast? Everybody, everybody, who the fuck doesn't like French toast? You don't like what?

Eggs and bread? You don't prefer, you don't prefer like pancakes or French toast? I mean, they're different flavor profile. Like, well, the way that I make pancakes specifically too is like I have the crisp edges all the time. Like I, if it doesn't have the crisp edges, it's a failure. I throw it. It's a fucking throw it away. why there's those, there's, there are some restaurants that just could, they just click on that, like, what do you call it, the stainless steel, um, yeah, thing. And they don't get the edges because they're not, they're not, like, say, that's crazy to me. Like, it's, it's, it's the, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's like, I don't, it's respect to dinner pancake, it's, it's, it's, it's solid, right? But, like, that edge, man, transforms the entire thing. If you don't have that, it, it's, it, it's, like, I remember thinking I didn't like, it had a thing. It had a ring around it. I was like, it, it had a ring around it. It was like, it. It's like, it had a

This is. Guys, top tier shit. Butter is, butter is my favorite ingredient, actually. Yeah, God bless it. God bless butter. Rice.

Rice is your favorite fruit? I don't really use that as an ingredient. It actually is. Is your favorite fruit? Probably. Yeah. I like rice so, I like rice so much more than I like rice more than pussy.

I like rice more than any sort of beverage. I'm not kidding. I like rice a lot. I think I like French fries more than pussy. But that's about it. What type of French fries? Oh, man. Terrible McDonald's.

It doesn't, it necessarily. Dude, I got to say good McDonald's fries. Fresh ones go bananas. To me, good McDonald's fries with the perfect amount of salt. Because here's the thing with these human workers, they either undersault them or oversault them. And I'm like, and oversalting ruins them. Oh, they hurt.

Because no, you know what you have to do? Well, at least hopefully if you don't want to have a fucking stroke. You have to get them in water. Yep. That is so crazy. My God, I was with my nephew yesterday. Ew. With my nephew yesterday?

And I saw him eating ranch because everyone, all the Herrera's love ranch. Hold up. What do you mean? What do you mean? No, no, no, no, no. You said he was eating ranch. What do you mean? Like eating ranch.

He was eating ranch alongside him. He wasn't just eating ranch. Yeah, but still, even the way he did it. He put his whole hand pretty much in the ranch. Like the nugget was all white. I am a little suspicious of people who like sauce that much. He's a child. He's a, he's a, he's a,

jam like four. And it's because of the fact his mother, all of Lily's family loves ranch. Except for her dad. Her dad's like it's disgusting. I just know,

there's certain ranches I've liked. There's some ranches. I don't like sances, really. I am, to me, sauce is all about coating. Not fucking dunking and drenching.

Like I see motherfuckers, they'll go to, they'll get a 20 piece of McNuggets and then they'll want like six barbecue sauces. To me, or whatever sauce they use. To me,

honestly, one. Even for a 20 piece. For a 20 piece. one sauce. Yeah, a little bit. It's because I glaze it. It's just, it's just, it's like a, if I had, if I had a brush and I can just glaze it

it on my fucking nuggets, you feel me? I have my nugget brush. Can you imagine? Imagine how, like people, someone would look at you and be like, God, you're so fucking unhealthy. You would get killed. You have, you have artifacts for your fucking fast food. You are a fucking degenerate.

Someone would run past you and shoot you in a stomach like eight times. They would lean over to give you a hug, they would shoot you a bunch of times. without having a silence and some people know you're getting shot so they know everyone's like I get it and they all give them

my high five as he walks out they give the key of the city this guy murdered Derek right let's get to the last yeah let's go

let's get to the last question I don't know we answered that question I'm pretty sure I think you said mango flincy oranges I guess yeah I guess I would

I also love but I would say probably like strawberries are really really just good like solid like strawberries strawberries are just like a really

solid like a really solid A nice red strawberry. A good strawberry. I like that if you dump them in fucking salt water, all the worms come out. I hate that shit. I hate that shit. Don't why do you bring that out, man? What?

You don't know by that? No. Yeah. Put them in saltwater, little thingies come out of the seeds. The little things? There's like little like, I guess like there's little like fucking creature larvae. I don't know. They're not worm worms.

They're like just like something. I don't know. It's, I don't really care. They're like actual creatures or no? I think so. Yeah. They just live in the store. out of them. To be fair, like only like uncured

str-like, I think if you have like a normal like properly created strawberry that doesn't happen, I think. That's so, I gotta look that up. I've, I've been fascinated. It was crazy. But it was crazy about it. It's one of those things where it's like almost like finding out like what's in a hot dog. You know what I mean? We're like, I remember seeing like somebody put strawberry in like, I can't remember if it was salt water or hot water or like it was some weird thing. And then like if you do that, oh,

little like worms will like come out of it. And, uh, and that's what that's wild. And it's like every strawberry he has this and I remember being like, cool. Yeah, and at a certain At a certain point. I've had so many at this point that it's, and I'm fine. So like, they must be good or something and I'm not really that perturper. It's just like finding out what's in a hot dog. I remember my grandmother would be like, or not my grandmother, my great aunt, she would be like, you know what's, you know what's in a hot dog?

Fucking. And she would say like, I don't know, fucking pig eyes and like, all this other stuff. Pig asses. And there's like, are you still? Yum. And she would be like, are you still, you still want to eat that? I'm like, yeah. They're really solid.

And I've had so many at this point and I'm fine. So yeah, I'm gonna have more of it. Yeah, there's some things. You're not gonna convince me to stop eating strawberries. Well, it's like, dude, when we think about like sauces or something like that, the amount of like bugs that end up in like, what do you call it?

Like tomato sauce, for example. Yeah. The amount of bugs that are on fucking tomato vines and when they harvest all that stuff and grind all that shit for, like, motherfucker, we've been eating good protein for quite some time. And I'm like, well, no, I'm like, what are you going to do about that? I can't do nothing about that.

I remember I saw a viral photo of like an Arizona iced tea jug with like a spider on the inside of the cap. Fresh. And I remember being like, dang, that's crazy. I have six jugs in my house right now. One died and fell to the bottom and disintegrated because of how fucking gross the Arizona tea is. And then you're just drinking. You're like, I feel, I feel straight. I have dumped entire jugs because they tasted wrong.

And I've had so many at this point that I can actually like take like I know it's really upsetting. I know if it's going to taste wrong before I even had anything or before I even had even sniffed it. Because like, and this is a trick that I've noticed for whatever reason. If it touches, if it's full to the top, it's going to be really good. If there's any space, like it should spill a little bit when you open it, like a little bit. And if it doesn't, it's fucked. something's wrong with it. I don't know what it is,

but it's almost every single time it's like watered down or something. I don't know what the fuck. When I cook chicken, maybe it's like the last bit, the last bit or something. When I get chicken, whenever I make it,

right, if I detect any slight hint of like it not being the right texture, I throw all the chicken away. That's a waste. And Lily's like, you're a fucking psycho. Just send it to me.

I'm so particular about the way I cook chicken. It's really, it's actually a bunch of, why don't you just save it so you could put it in other things? It's, it's so it.

of my obscenor slaughter chickens yourself and then you never have to worry about that Like I made chicken a few days ago And it was like I was treading it I was like You were punching I was like

I don't know if it's like I was like You should die Dude crazy I look man I will say there's definitely When you have mass produced chicken At some places like

Here's a perfect example And I'm sure somebody has ran into this If you get a chicken sandwich From McDonald's for example They have the new chicken sandwiches Some of them Are hard and rubbery like some of the breast

and I'm like this chicken sucked you know what I mean like the way that this chicken live went something went wrong and this is a bad breast and like I was like every once in a while

I got a rubbery one I start to throw it out and I'm like this fucking this is crazy poor fuck right last one and then we'll get the fuck out of here Archibald shrunkess this soon would be a quick one

greetings uncle magic Uncle Adams and Uncle Cracker in light of the veil guard just being released and with so many Mass Effect discussions happening on the show lately. That's always going to be. We should do like a challenge one day where like we just don't mention any of the things that we usually lead on.

So we don't talk? Like like no. No Mass Effect. No gears. No Red Dead. Just figure out if we should do it. Almost like a bingo thing. Or like a reverse bingo.

Anyway. Anyway. He says in light of the bail guard being released and all this stuff, Mass Effect Lowe. He said, I wanted to ask what game frying? What game franchises do you personally think have the best lore? Oh, lore? Lour. There's 40K.

The lure. 40K lore is pretty crazy. 40K. There's obviously D&D. The second I saw those little babies. The baby Angels are orphans? Yeah. The second I saw that,

I was like, this is dope. Whatever the fuck is this is metal is now. It's so metal. It's all obnoxiously Christian metal. It's so, exactly. And I'm like,

this is, this is dope. This is Buzz Light. Your metal. It's like an, You're metal. This is sick as hell. But Warhammer's up there.

I haven't delved super deep into it, but I could just tell. I think Destiny is fucking amazing. It's every soul's fucking game. It's like a gallon and a half of lore. Nice gallon of lore. There's a lot. Cummy lore. There's a lot.

There's a lore of Jack and Jack being the fastest gun in all of the Dominican Republic. He's good. The Dominican Republic. I'm trying to dig is something else that's like, Something else that, like, what, what? Technically, HALO, but like, if they listen to it. It used to.

It had. Yeah. It's a little bit broken now. I don't know why I'm kind of blanking on stuff that, like. Darkstockers. I mean, I think the characters are super interesting. How, how wet Morgan is that name is Morgan? How wet?

Yeah, Morgan. No. No, that's dragon. Yes. There's only one. There can only be one. That bad bitch with the big titties is from Dragon Age, you fucking slad. What is there?

That's about it. I guess there's a lot of stuff. Just for some reason, I'm just drawing a blank because I was trying to think of things that like, oh, man, I really like this. I wish this was more. Oh, I think. Cyberpunk. Holy shit.

I forgot about that. Starpunk's great. I think something that is so underrated is the Adi Musha series. I think because it's just based off. of feudal Japan and that shit's always awesome the way that they intertwine all the demon bullshit and magic into it and I'm so fucking upset that the

the HD remaster or whatever It's never happened Well what I mean is not the remake but like a remaster they put up on Steam For like 20 bucks and it didn't sell well And because of that I don't think Capcom's gonna do anything with it Because that was kind of the test To be like all right well we're gonna see how this does And it didn't sell very well

But they didn't really they kind of just threw it out there And I'm like, bro. And you didn't market it at all. Yeah. And I was like, because that, I don't think other people, like, Anni Musha 3, I think people so underappreciated what they did for the time because it's like time travel where they had the modern day like 2004 France. And John Reno, the actor, he goes back in time. They switch places.

So basically Jean Reno's back in feudal Japan. And then fucking Samnowska goes to fucking modern day Paris at the time. And it's a, like, it is a wild game that like, nothing has done anything like that sci-fi and fucking like feel like the crossover was insane and I'm like I want to see a remake of this so badly I think it would be one of the coolest games ever but I think that will never happen unfortunately yeah there's metal gear solid yeah yeah see like drawing a blank yeah yeah model gonna solid it's kind of a huge one these are things that like I feel like they just come to you yeah on wake

what's not lore really I don't even I don't know what that week is all lore I guess it is I guess it is In fact, entirely lore. That's a really stupid thing for me to say. It is, um, Alan is fucking good. Uh, this, Fortnite lore, of course.

Shut the fuck out. What the fuck are you, I mean, there is, you're right. There's, there's a ton of gears lore. Gears is,

it's okay. It's fine. There's nothing, there's nothing much to it. Yeah. There's nothing much to it. You're gonna experience it by playing the game. You never have to look deeper for stuff to be like,

oh my God. Which is what you get with that, with that series, I think. Right. I don't, I don't need to, which is great,

by the way. I don't really need filler in gears. Yeah, yeah. Like I just, I just want to kill some logos. I don't want to, although I, yeah,

I know there were books. I never read any of them. Tri-and-com. I wasn't that, wasn't that maybe, like say if I came around like a Cole thing, kind of like the Mass Effect comics,

I didn't pick all of them up. I picked up ones of like, oh, there's a tally arc or something. Yeah, like shit like that. So if there's like a, like,

if there's a thing that's dedicated to Augustus Cole, like I'd probably pick that up. There's a great Halo 4 comic. fucking seven women. You're like, woo, baby. He said it's a great,

woo, he said there's a great Halo 4 comic. Oh yeah, it's really great. Yeah, there's a great Halo 4 comic

where the bad guy that you kill in the game, he's not dead. Of course he's not dead. And so like, Master Chief goes and kills him in the comic instead.

Are you serious? I'm not, I'm not even slightly joking. How did he die in the game or not die? So in the game,

it's a quick time event where you run up to him and stick a grenade in his chest and then he force chokes you, I'm not exactly, I'm not making this stuff. He force chokes you and then it blows up and then he tumbles over into a fucking laser and you're like, oh, he's dead, but he survived.

He survived. And then Master Chief detonates a nuke like with his hands directly on top of it. Huh. And he survives. Ooh. Yeah. I'm not

I need to I cannot stress enough That I'm not making this up The fact that he is canon To like current No way I'm not joking He beat the died at

The fact that he beat the die dat in the first place It's so fucking Absolutely He's like an ancient alien with telekinesis And he somehow wants He's literally like an angel Effective He's an anime character

Yeah Like that's what it is It's anime coded It's like all of it is anime coded I've seen some bullshit animations But that shit is It's like having It's like having...

It would be like if Frazier got like a power boost. It's just like why... What world are we in now? It is genuinely like if CJ killed Cratos. Come on. Isn't that level? It is that really good. They put chief up against the character that like isn't from the same series basically.

It would be... It really would be like trying to put like like CJ against Cratos were fucking... Bobby Hill against fucking Ryu Hayabusha Yeah Yeah You know like It would be like

I want to see it though It'd be like seeing Captain Anderson Fight The devil Like and you're just like You do shit He's I'm having trouble

Dude he has telekinesis He could like That alone is like You're not I'm sorry Like there's no Spartan That's gonna You're not gonna get a super soldiers

Strong enough To overcome telecanesis Like that's like Immediately you're like Not from the same world anymore But yeah no that's that is how it ends he like and so in the comic

it turns out that he just falls in a wormhole or something and then he's trying to make a machine and then Master Steve goes and kills him in the comic but he doesn't kill him he makes him digital oh that's try I remember hearing yeah he turns him into a digital fucking person you can do that

like like you can do the shotgun yeah like you try like that's kind of been a thing it's like a whole time though that's kind of nothing the whole time shadow realm kind of thing It's kind of like, phantom zone thing. It's kind of like you just basically become like a digital, like kind of like a digital, like kind of like your consciousness or something? Yeah, it's your conscience.

It's essentially. But it's particular for them because of how high functioning their brains are they can do. They can happen to them. Because there's a character. No, it can't happen anybody. I thought there's only the, what's the four runners were like it was like that's how they brains were. No, because don't you remember. This is what's so stupid.

I can't do this. I'm never mind. Let's let's leave. Let's leave. I'm getting upset. Yeah, let's get the fuck out of here. It's late. We had some technical issues and lighting issues.

Oh, yeah, we did. It's fucking actually evening now. Yeah, yeah. We joked about it being pitch black outside, but it actually is. I think, right? No, it'll be. It will be. It will be.

I think the filters are correct, right? Three pages. Yeah, okay. All right, I'm going to read the names of our wonderful $25 and up patrons. Over at patreon.com slash a snarktank. Remember you can get merch at snarktank.shop. Bustan over there. And count me down.

Three, two, one. God, we're so ethereal. We look at us. We look like angels. Yeah. Derek looks like... Arise my son. He's in the depths.

Yeah, I went to hell. It's fun here. It's fun here anyway, though. Yeah. There's more fun here. All the gay people. All the gays and the pedophiles in here. It's fun.

Gunick the Edgehog. I love it. That's obvious. I love Goonick. The edgehog? Yeah. Perfect. Gond Gondonging around at the speed of Gung, gung, gung, gong, gong.

All right. Darth Beener. Oh, my God. Hit it. That's so stupid. Hitting a newborn with a berserker barrage. I love. We played the hammer game again.

Yeah, he's dead as fuck. Hey, Jeannie. I wish that every single pubic hair on planet Earth turns into a soil fuge. Solifuge? I don't know what that is. Subterfuge? I don't know what that is, man. Did I mean betray? Yeah, I don't know.

Subterfuge does. I don't know what a solifuge? I don't know. I've never seen that word before in my life. I'm two wicked friends for that. It's very rare that I see a word that I like, I have never even had a herd in my life. I like when that happens. It's cool.

I want to look that up. Hey, Siri. What is a solifuge? What's my ass? Damn. You corrupted. You dick it. Don't choke on your fucking candy.

What is that? What'd you fucking eat? Target has this like candy. You're like these straw candies, like gummy straw things. They're fucking phenomenal. It smells good as hell. They're so good.

What the fuck? That's crazy. It smells like a good piece of candy. They're fucking amazing. These are at Target? The Target brand. That smells so good. They have their own.

Filled candy straws. at their own line and it's I normally don't fuck a candy man This shit got me You gotta eat them both the same time bro Like when you mix the flavors Well you don't have to But if you mix the flavors together

When you mix the flavors together It's just It's they're on another level Well too late Yeah he took to Yeah This is good I like them dude

I've had candy and so long Now when I eat candy now Do you get this The rush You get the sugar rush Oh my God That is a crazy feeling What the fuck is this?

They're good, right? This is a banger candy. They're at Target. They have those bags and I bought a giant $10 bag of them. This is fucking crazy. I was like, I was like, I should not buy this. I bought the fuck out of it. You're already in a car.

You're like, whoa, that's crazy. That's crazy. That is good as hell, man. It's, it's, um. You were not lying. They're dangerously good because I, yeah. What target do you go? Is it the one by the empire?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got there Damn, dude. Bought a bag. I wanted a smaller bag to be fair. They only had a $10 bag.

I really did. Because they had these like, they had these $4 bags of gummy worms like or sour worms. I was like, oh cool. But then I found the straw things that, because Jojo gave me some.

And I was like, these are, these are crap. Yeah, that's a banger candy right there. I can't believe your bangers and I know bangers. Yeah,

you know bangers. I'm actually a big candy guy. Like when I was a kid, I fucking love candy. I still love candy, but I love it. My, you know,

It hurts. It hurts. Yeah, cavities. So I was like, all right, I kind of cut most candy out. I suppress it. Like, there's a candy pot in my house using it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just leave it because I'm like, I don't want to eat this.

There's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a candy called sour. They're called sour power straws. Oh my God. Not sour punch straws. Those are more common. You see those around sometime. Yeah. Sour power is unreasonably good.

Like fucking, like, they have them at the deli mart like by where you used to live. And I would always go there and pick it. It was always like a snapel. and like one of those and it was just like Mm-hmm good day I'm too old for that shit now man like even eating this I'm kind of hindering on you days I'm like I already bid it I should finish it but the same time

candy makes me feel weird It gives you energy is that what it is It gives me energy that I know it's fake I mean that's what is man You know when you're like stand on the bar's like on fire Like waking it's fake energy That's when it goes down you gotta be fucked So anyway nothing's better than glucose energy dude

That was really good I'm thinking of walking at Target You're going to have to get some because they're a phenomenal. I mean, I'm going there later today. Especially they're probably discounted. Holy shit. That's a good point. We played the Hammer Gimmies.

Six more bags. Okay. Slees Merchant. I only spent $45 on a stand. Slees Merchant, all your organs jiggle and shift around in your body constantly, but you can't feel it because your brain blocks it out. Ew, I hate, don't say that. Oh, yeah, that's good.

It's a good point. Oh, fuck you. I hate that. like when somebody tells you that your tongue has no natural resting position and you just think about it. Why I just fucking say that piece of shit. My tongue's not resting on my... You're fucking, yeah.

The one you did me now. I'm doing it again. Is I talking about resting? Exactly. Majen Kanye blasting synagogues for whippets. Sweeney's just chrissed in his Ozaru form. Cumplings? Yeah.

Like a little dumplings for a little dumplings for a man. It's beautiful. Officer Downs says, the top stop We think With this thing Wide tooth black

What is happening I don't know I don't know what I'm reading Sweeney Using the microphone cord To floss the gap Between his team Yeah

God damn That's not nice That is really mean Jorkin de Pinas Vance I'm the type Of tired sleep can't fix Vaughn of the Dead That octillery has me

Acting up like the Deep after the recent Superman BS when he's no longer right on most topics if Young Metro don't trust you he's going to rape you allegedly Kevin Soray from from sucking cockbow I don't know what that is

beating the domestic violence allegations like how I beat my wife Blair White canonically banging me please Connically banging me please Not no one Alex Jones No Hannibal Lecter politely asking to suck your dick

politely the fish kill mountain people in Walmart are real yeah they are yeah that's back home i remember i remember i remember them i remember them i remember them i remember them i saw a guy that looked like a zombie at walmart one time and i got so serious i was high in fucking 16 you know what the scariest thing is so when you see a zombie looks like a guy fucking freaked me the fuck out yeah he was a guy passing i had to kill him because i knew he was a zombie but he i swear like if i didn't know better i would have said he was just a normal alive guy you did the right thing you did the right thing you did the right

thing. You're the right thing. Validating that like that is crazy. No, if I wasn't on my BVUs, I wouldn't have killed them. If I didn't know so much better. I hate you. Go back, go back. I hate you.

I hate that image. That is one of the craziest images I've ever seen still to this day. That's fair to me. I love it so much. Will Graham, Will Graham pissing in Hannibal's mouth and giving him a piss king. This is so fine. Murch. Jimmy Pesto from Bob's Burgers

Partook in January 6. Death, Jack the World's Fastest Mayor, correcting the Maori with the R being rolled. We are from the mainland, New Zealand. If I got all my beasts, my bloodletting up, like if I was in Bloodborn

and I went bloodletting skill, that'd be me. And I became a beast version of myself. Asking 15 questions in the hope that one is answered. Don't worry. If they're good. Also, don't do that.

Can you make a chubby guy in Bloodbored? I don't think so, right? No. Yeah. Yeah. That's the other things are Japanese. To be fair, like...

And by me, well, like... That is one of the things that, like... There is, like, body positivity and, like, image positivity, I guess, and, like, or, you know, more realistic depictions of people, right? In video games now, than there ever used to be. You're probably never going to get, like... They kind of... Truly fat people. They don't really do that, yeah.

Well, because it would also just... It looks... In most games, it would look insane. It's like, you remember when they did fat Drake, fat Nathan Drake? Do you remember that? Yes, I do. I don't remember if it was a cheat code or like what, or like it was like some unlockable. I'm sure so.

But you could play as like morbidly obese Nathan Drake. And it, it is funny. Like watching him swing and like do all these like acrobatic like things that. That's what it looks crazy. And I think they had like look it up right now. That's what I'm saying. Let me have my five. Because it is one of the craziest fucking things.

It's a good model. Like it's a good. design. But it looks insane. Ashley from Residentable 4. Have you seen the mods of making her fattish shit? It's awesome. What is that?

Oh, is that? So, that's putting it on right now? So that's a trainer, right? Oh, it's in the game. It's just in the game. Man, hurry the fuck up! Why would you include all of this?

Yeah, let's be like, what the hell is this? Yeah, he looks good. Dude, it is so crazy. I can't believe they did that. Yeah, dude. Yeah, you can move too. Dude, the swiftness is crazy. He can move.

He's quick. Dude, that guy's strong as shit. It's so crazy. I love this. But that's really the game. I love it. Big meaty stinks. My human taxidermy fleshlight and dildo business

will pop off. Trust me, Andy the man who's handy is in our A tier, but not as dandy. Using the new canari design as goon material. Danica Patrick is more. hearted than you'd think. She actually literally thinks the world is being shaped by reptilian.

I forgot to look that up. Yeah, it is real. I gotta look that up. Heath Smoker. Heathsmoker Gids, what if YouTube existed during slavery? Would there be a slave review channel question? Yes, there would.

Yeah, there would. Oh, she was on Joe Rogan, huh? Of course. Of course she was. Yeah. Anybody who's nobody has been on Joe Rogan. Yeah. Do you see JD Vance went on?

Who? Jady Vance? Oh, yeah. I think I did see clips of it. He just got on there and I was like, Joe's not even just Just not even trying Not even, yeah

He's just Yeah Jacking off the Ripper Coward the Courage The Couragelly dog Oh my God What's up It's not only that she

Does she believes She has a show You didn't say that Yeah I thought it was just I don't know I'm so jaded At this point How to spot a reptilian

Shapeshifter With Danica Patrick Yeah Galactic Federation What the hell is this What do you... It's what happens when you hit the... You crash your car a million times

and don't win anything. Holy shit. Imagine getting concussed to your car 12 plus times, but you didn't even fucking win. No, she has a bunch of victory. No, she didn't win anything. Really? Probably nothing.

I don't care. She didn't win to me. She's a fucking loser. A car cup. What do they have? What do they have? What do they have? What do they have what they have?

They have the golden cup holder. The golden cup. They're called her Yeah No, they just gave her They gave her a frying pan They're like, all right, here you go The fuck back in the kitchen

They suck That is insane They gave her a violent load To the cheek That's all they gave her Coward the Okay Off camera

That's so terrible Coward the couragely dog Sweeney's teeth are gross and gay Sweeney's tooth cap is objectively cute And attractive Y'all haters tripping Kevin Durant's

Kevin Durant's feet What is up with Kevin Durant's feet? Why is that a thing? I thought it's his, yeah, because if they mean like legs, because specifically, if you look of a picture of his legs, it is, dude, he looks like a dinosaur. He looks like crados. It's like, it's like actually like crados, but it looks like he has dinosaur scales. Well, what I would perceive what dinosaur scales.

He's going to take a fucking Epsom salt. He's crazy. If he just like put lotion on you, it is though. I wonder if lotion would work. Stop. They haven't, they didn't invent lotion. It's magic. It's magic.

Technically, but it's his family's dead ashes. Technically, it's maddie. He's been in water so many times. It's been fashioned by magic, but it's been going. It's actually where there's not the game. The South is the best region of hip-hop by far. Relinquishing contents of you pockets wherever, you shall chef a manna. Mr. Pants, thick of it.

I'm Mr. Dittkovich. I'm Mr. Dittkovich and everybody knows. Everybody owes me my money or I'll make you cold. Something like, I don't know. There's something there. A beverage of sorts. Cardboard Pie The Nautoloids

Eldridge Nautilussi By Curious George You dare bring Light to my lair You must die Is that Castlevania? That's no No

Jolly old dipshit Total Drid Dridrigger It's not It's one G Dridlinger Dredger

Death What are we saying here Behead Dribrigger Griger Spike A driger baby Into an urn Urnate on Bleak Falls Barrow

A Drager Oh, is that I just saying? I guess he's like Shortening it because otherwise It would be too long Oh ha Niggie Niggie with the skibbitty

Rizzy Bliggers is so good It's crazy That story where you had to tell a friend Transpassing is dangerous Sounded smoky-coated Of rats and N-words A, George

Where Dem Wabits B Like the Phoenix I arise from my come covered ashes to goon to Sophia Falcone Eternal. Hunter Dubois, gay bar shantyman, retard butler screaming, ah, you not, are you not entertained at the top of his, well, first of all, that's not who that is. Did you say retard Butler?

Yeah, it's not, wait, wait, did he actually say that? Did I make that up? Gerard Butler, like the name is retard Butler screaming, are you not entertained? That is Russell Crow. That is not Gerard Butler. That's fantastic. That is amazing. The wire cross of Gerard Butler and Russell Crow because of 300 and gladiator is very funny.

Sir, what you should have said was Russell Slow. Russell Slow. Russell Slow. Retard Butler. Remember to tug me by my ball. Remember to tug me by my ball. open your jaws and make me wetter the gaitles Rise against is the use for straight men, smiths you the kid

Maori is pronounced Maori Maui uh you dumb cunts They're the indigenous people of New Zealand I got Maui Maury Maury Oh I guess that makes sense yeah whatever who fucking cares I don't know anyone if I push that well I don't want to She pipkin on my pippa Click the wrong button sub down it here I'm back

Sweeney showers and sneakers No way I'm hanging out with a couple of gooners I'm just here so I don't get killed British people come and then be like What's all this then Big Diggie Pulled out 20 years late and in the sloppiest way possible. Call that bitch Afghanistan.

Fun fact, Brian Cranston voiced Faye Long in 1994 Street Fighter of two animated movie, Transfam Gremlin, yush, Majin, Red Foreman. What if 9-11 was cute? The Craig of the Canadians

sulking cantankarously towards my devilish deeds. It's your boy, Shawnee Dee, Serberus Agent 267. Fun fact, most laugh tracks were recorded in the 50s, so when you hear Sheldon talk,

dead people laugh. I laughed that, I dreamed that Goku was for late. I don't think that's necessarily true, actually. It's probably not at all. I think that was a rumor for a long time because I know Seinfeld

was filmed with like a live studio. Yeah, there was plenty of shows around that time that they were live audiences. They would say it before, they would say it a lot of times maybe not anymore, but like, this was filmed in front of a live studio audience. Somebody would have shot told them.

I love when they would break character like on fresh prints. Oh yeah. That shit was great. Yeah, and you get to, like, he freaks out one time, Will Smith and then he goes fucking fourth wall.

And he goes into the cast. He starts going into the crowd and freak that was brilliant. I was like this. I still like Will Smith. man I'm sorry I know he did some the fucking style thing was crazy I think people were a little hard on him

I just think he needs to come back with like a fucking solid action film that's all I think the new bad boy move was pretty good man I forgot about that hate to say it was pretty solid I just you know how like the characters look weird in the veilgard I have that problem with bad boys these motherfuckers are like 20 something years later and then they're acting like Martin Lawrence

in particular he looks like he's been soaking in a fucking bath for 50 years he got he gained a lot of it because he was very thin before he was like He was just a normal person. But he also was in caked in makeup. And these guys just coloring. I was like,

so I have that problem where I'm looking at these guys. I'm like, guys, you're fucking old. That guy from the second one is like in the army now. Or he's like a badass. Like he has his own little story. He's a grown ass. How is this a grown ass guy?

And you guys look the same. He is a grown ass, grown, grown man. Yeah. Like he's older than we are. That's crazy to thing. He is. Red T's older than we are by a lot. I dream that Goku was late for Gohan's birthday with no presents,

so he came inside a condom and gave it to him. 3XO sewing two hamsters together to make a double hamster supreme. That's so fucking stupid. Sherrod Brown, he's going to fuck your mom, make your dad trans and eat your pets. Surp and stroke and smoke and joking emoticons going like this. 1800s d. YouTube be like Civil War situation is crazy. That's great.

I love that. I love that angle. Watch Trump's interview with Theo Vaughn or Rogan to hear him sometimes chuckle. That's as close as to realize. All right. Do that I think. I, He,

he, ha, ha. Can you imagine if he says actually the ha ha ha ha ha ha. Hi, he ha ha. Hello. Ha ha ha. Execute laugh. Execute laugh.

Laff. EX. com. Laf. I like The Yvonne a lot actually. I don't like him anymore. Really? No.

What do you do to make you hate him so? Basically, I started listening to, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, RFK Junior Simp for one. Um, when I was listening to him, because he seemed pretty fucking reasonable until very recent. I theorize money like everybody else. Yeah. I mean, so I was just like, I don't follow Theo Vaughn because he's smart.

I never followed him before, but like every once in a while when I'd see him, his takes were pretty reasonable. even when you talk about politics, I'm like, he's retarded but reasonably. You know what I'm saying? That's all I asked for. That's all I ask for. But now I'm like, he's like, oh, doing the emoji like this when RFK is lying like on

Twitter, like saying all this dumb fucking bullshit. Yeah, it's dumb. And I'm like, I'm done. You're a dumb gay comedian too. Yeah. Gay in the bad way. Right. Not the good sex.

No, I mean gay and like stupid and bad. Yeah. Like, did you see that fucking Ariana Grande on fucking SNL saying that? No. She said that? Yeah. I must say her episode was fucking really, like, good. It was kind of weird.

Because, like, she was on, and there was, like, this thing. I think the whole premise was, like, the sketch was, like, these two gay guys. It's like, the son is introducing the boyfriend to the family or whatever, but the mom's, like, hyper-competitive, and it's, like, a game night. And so she just calls him gay a bunch, and it's like, and he's just making fun of him because he's gay. And they're like, mom, I'm gay. And she's like, no, I didn't mean it that way. I meant gay. stupid and bad.

And I forget that Ariana Grande is like an actor, like actually good at performing. Right. That's what she was doing before. Yeah, like I totally forgot because I just thought. She's like, oh, she's funny. She's like really funny on that show. And I'm just like, wow, that's crazy. That's good. I mean, yeah, I forget. I sometimes, whenever she has an interview, I get angry, but like, I forget about, it makes me forget that she's actually very talented.

Yeah. Obi-Won Chabot to Blow Me. I'm beat him off suck his penis. That's just how I'm gay. Just to know that I'm gay. Kremlin de Gremlin, 50 cents to 50 cent blood in my piss Chun Lee pulling a Sophia Eurista on my face Why is the snark tank gay and retarded

At least 27,102,069 ants In the shape of a human? I feel like that number keeps changing. Solid snake voice, Hey, Colonel, Ryden gives really good head. What the fuck did you just say to me? Stupid.

Wage Slate 583. Pippini Brothers presents Vigida's Galactica. food review channel. Donk, Donk-Dakryon, good gutton, bouncing, mikok and tobacco, to booky de Beppo. Like, I wrote into Sacred recently. Oh, he did? Oh, you didn't. Read the name? Yeah, fucking like, uh. Gade 6. Uh, won't you please make gay? Ah, get the camera off me. Oh. Who knows what the fuck I was doing.

It was fucking throwing your dog, bro. Fucking peeling your teeth out. Gade 6. Won't you please make gay for a very special gay? Man, Jack is queen of the blumpkin patch. Everyone cream for the pumpkin queen. Page three, last one. P.P. Aurora Borealis. More like whore or a boring ass.

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I said I missed scene chicks and you all talked about the dudes. That is true. We talked about scene chicks and immediately like seguated to the guys. Well, guess what? I feel like I remember saying I like scene chicks.

Yeah, but we spent more time talking about the guy. You know what you know a show you're listening to, sir. Come on. The first search of Keith, David, the gold and Asman Gold is referenced to the frothy right piss he drinks every morning. bring bring gabby back on the podcast fuckers pre-raise spread your cheeks so i can shit in your ass

he made a veil guard character and like it looks like it was funny that i was like how does this character look more like you than his real life because they looked all fucked up and like disheveled and i was like how did it like nail it so well i'll pull it up i'll pull it like 896 radiohead nice peen back off bratt summer it's time for leham pain fall I hear y'all like him hung.

Alaska, you know, I feel trash. Texas State decided a young Sheldon getting hit by 50 cars. Tickle my ass hair is Niggi, formerly known as Nicky Ziggy. Nintendo Entertainment Sexdom, Nintendo Sexton, Nintendo Sexty 4, GayCube, Nintendo Weiner, Nintendo Weiner, Nintendo Switch, the sexual kind. Weiner. Sweeney losing weight to fit into his Long Beach Griffey costume for Halloween. Sorry to Miss Jackson, Duck Hunt, Aetherian, Brigerian, Punter, Nafram, Melfis 1, and his rounding out of her list is always King of Haphazzard. Oh, is it?

Like, he actually, like... It's not a bad representation, actually. That's, like, the best thing I've seen out of, like, someone trying to make themselves. And I was like, it's funny how his weird fucking face would fit so well that that's fucking... That's not bad at all. Yeah. Yeah. You're pointing...

There you go. Yeah, look at that. It's pretty good. It's Asmon Gold. It's not bad. You got to nail it. I was like... Whenever I try to make myself, it never works.

Never works. I mean. All right, guys. We're running late today. Thanks for joining in. Goodbye. Farewell. Bye, guys.

Boy, guys. I'm gonna go rape. Boom, boom, boom, boom. God damn it.