The Snark Tank - #280: Punished Leno

Episode Date: November 25, 2024

MERCH: http://www.snarktank.shopPatreon: https://patreon.com/TheSnarkTank

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We got snarktank.shop. We got some cool merch. I'm going to be dropping some pretty soon. I would appreciate that very much so. Do it because I am the law. I will arrest you if you don't do it. So, well, we got, we got Kingston here, and we also have... Hi, it's me, the Green Goblin.

We have the Green Goblin. Hi. The Green Goblin has joined us. Yeah, Chris is sick. Yeah. Thank you so much Green Goblin for joining us. I've been chasing you for quite some time, you know, because I'm the law. Yeah, I figured I'd give up.

I really appreciate it. You know, that if you would come in handcuffs, you would come with me in my squad car. after this. And you're agreeing, right? And, well, no, I, I came to talk. I'm not going to, like, go to jail. Well, I mean, but I thought you said we were going to give up. That's more of, like, a gesture.

Ow! Hey, don't, that's his question. Hey, Darkie, don't antagonize him. I'm going to have to arrest you for. You're not going to arrest the murderer, the legit murderer. You're, you waving your hand is actually making me very nervous.

Dude, don't ever do that to a cop. You're just asking to die. What I do is when a cop post me over, I show them my wallet quickly with a jerking motion. That's so crazy. That's so crazy. That's probably a TikTok trend. It will be.

Like, yeah, like, oh, the fucking cop challenge or whatever. See if, see if, uh, See how long you can survive? Shot dead by cops challenge. See if you can move really quickly without getting shot. Who's going to fail next? Do you know why I pulled you over? That's crazy.

Oh my fucking God. That's such a waste of life. It would just get killed so fast. It'd be like, whoa, that was not funny. Damn, only six seconds. That was nothing. Some four seconds. Some four seconds.

They're trying to see, oh my God, they're trying, they're trying to get like. That's a ritual. That's a ritual to summon something evil. Like, can you do sub three? Is that possible? Like, as soon as they get to the window, like, how would you do that? You're at the, the cops at the window. You got to put your, we got to put your window out immediately.

You got to, like, it's prep time. Yeah, you have to, like, have, like, just do the finger gun thing. Just be like that and then I think. I hope you can convince people. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's enough for. cop, though. Because I saw one that

a black dude turned around too quickly, and he started shooting him. He took a shot of him. Remember the acorn? The acorns. That is the wide, I think that is the most insane thing. A corn. What do you mean? I think, look, the acorn is insane. You remember the acorn. I mean, I remember many acorns. Remember the company

acorn? No, we're not talking about the company at all. We're actually not talking about the company at all. Okay, well, that was. I know, I totally. Very believable. It was. This was, you remember the, the acorn hitting the squad car and the cop thinking he got shot.

Oh, right, right, right, right. He did a tumble and started shooting at the car that was pulled over. He did a fucking Max Payne barrel roll. Like, he was like that. Do a barrel roll. Like, he was really, like, what made it funny is that, like, they think, like, in their minds, they're like, we are fucking badass. They think they're like the swat.

They're like, we're fucking, I'm going to do a barrel roll. Like, I'm not going to just light. If I have a gun, you're going to roll and I'm going to light you up and you're going to finish the roll day. Yeah. What's so crazy about that guy is he did see, he did go to Afghanistan, but he didn't see combat, if I remember correctly. So like, we were all thinking, oh, clearly he has like hardcore PTSD for something like that to happen. Well, he didn't actually, he was like maybe adjacent to the action, but he never actually, so what's really his excuse for thinking he got shot?

Because that's the, to me, it's like hearing a shot and then maybe diving or something like, what the fuck but this guy was like oh i'm shy and he said he was getting numb that is crazy he's crazy he's crazy yeah he is insane and i guarantee you he's still working i'm sure he's just at a different precinct so oh for sure yeah well yeah they just moved him around to like the town that nobody cares about yeah yeah yeah and he's i'm sure he's like cleaned out the town of anyone who's a shade darker than um you know a brownie he's like all right we got to start somewhere good work now we're gonna move up to orio uh no wait we're going to move up to a chips of Hoy cookies.

You know, like we're just going to, just the shade. So anybody in this, that milk chocolate kind of, you know, make sure they're gone. Yeah. And then we'll move to the Twinkies. Yeah. We'll just start full on killing white folks eventually. Yeah. It'll always get back to that.

It'll be like, you're Irish, right? You're Irish, right? Italian. Italian, French, anything that's not English. Everything else is too, everything else is too obvious. French is so white, though. I think that's, I think that's, but that's the. The arbitrary thing is like, well, that's, well, Irish people are literally white.

At a certain point, you know, like, it's not really about skin color. It's clearly not. I mean, it's funny. Because Irish are like, a lot of them are. Clearly, like you just said. Porcelain, right? Yeah. A lot of Irish are like porcelain.

It's so insane. It's like, like, it takes having, like, an intelligence of a four-year-old to understand how stupid that shit is, you know. I guess, huh? I think it's pretty cool. I guess. I don't know. I think it's pretty. I think racism is funny as fuck.

I've never been four, so. What do you mean? Huh? How old are you when you were born? No, you skipped four. Yeah, I just skipped it. Yeah. I just thought like, I'm not doing it.

You were five? Yeah. Did you have that thing when you were a kid where like you would have the same birthday again? No, what the hell are you talking about? I remember. Always, yes. It's always on the same day. No, no, no.

It's also, it's, yeah. No, I remember if it was like a good luck thing or something, but I remember specifically one year. It was like, I remember what year. It was like eight, it was like seven, eight or nine. It was one of those years. But like, I got the cake and it said the age that I was already on it. And I was like, oh, what's, what's this? And she was like, oh, it's, it's good luck to celebrate this number. So we're just going to do this number again. And I was like, but I'm not, but I'm older. And he was like, oh, yeah. Your parents bought a stockpile of cakes and they wanted to use the cakes. So they kept it. Yeah, they bought a cake stockpile. That's what happened. What are they free? They were like, we got a deal on.

on four cakes. So they bought a deal on four. So they bought four cakes that said happy seventh birthday. Yeah. And they were like, we got to use these out, boy. Good luck. And your dumb ass is like,

yay, I won't good luck. Even though the number is just on a candle. You can just buy a fucking candle. What was on a candle? That was on a candle. That was probably, I think that's probably more likely.

That made more sense. If you didn't, if you would have said the game. Because I thought it was decorated with the happy birthday on it. No, it's like that was more no, it was the normal.

Well, you just assumed. a lot of contact. That's true. That's true. But yeah, it was like the number like seven again or like eight. I can't remember what number it was. Okay. But it was probably just like they just didn't have another candle. They weren't. They weren't. They just too lazy to fucking go down the street and go get one. Yeah. I get it. That's kind of the thing like I that's what makes because I don't, I don't foresee, like I don't see them being that lazy or that careless because they cared about every other birthday except for that one. It doesn't see it doesn't make

sense. So like I do think like my aunt genuinely convinced them that like oh this is like a a good luck thing. And they're like, yeah, fucking whatever. He doesn't care. Is your aunt into like, is she into like, first of all, is she a gambler or is she like into, uh, into, you know, the median shit? Like, is she into that stuff? Uh, no.

She, she works for the CIA. That's so much worse. Yeah. Where I'm like, I don't, I don't like superstitious people having jobs like that. Can you imagine? What makes it insane is that those people are like already on the verge of. the sociopathy like most of them actually and it's just like

yeah this one was around me as a kid sculpting me into being a little psychopath like Chris remember don't express your emotions huddle it let me you suppose hate remember that Chris keep inside be mad I don't remember that I don't like yes I love you you're not scares me she'd like the type of person that would like

roll like a D20 to make decisions or something you know she's like oh fucking art doesn't everybody do that I'll let God take the wheel what a crazy what I feel like I kind of low-key do that I hope my next

no you don't I think so No one does that You don't roll Not no one not no one He's talking about Like what You're talking about literally

I think I think literally Opposed Even figuratively What does that mean What do you mean? What do you mean? Figuratively just means like weighing decisions no

No That's absolutely not What rolling the dice Meeds I mean it kind of is Because you can't You can't be certain Of any out

That is You just kind of have to Assume like What will be the best Yeah but that's not What dice does though I understand But like the

it's just not it's not a good analogy because that's just like completely it's not a perfect analogy I'm not saying there is a like because there is no certain outcome of the future to me everything is a dice roll like there's no actual your you're right tangentially like oh yeah essentially yeah everything is a dice on a technicality like even even if you get shot in the face you could actually roll a 20 and fucking live right but but because Or dodge it. Or dodge it. You don't.

Well, then you would just, but then that. This guy. It's on your head and you're like, why. Well, that would be the gun would jam. Yeah. That would be that situation. Which has happened. There's the logic I was looking for.

It's happened way more times than not. Yeah. There's a shitty gun, well, unmanaged, just jamming and then people being saved because of that. If you would win $10 billion. but you had to play Russian roulette with four bullets no no no no yeah I would I would absolutely the odds are you talking about in a in a chamber of six yeah I would do it if I could take the bullets out and be gone I would do it I would do it by I was in no danger so what did you do with five bullets well you just say what would you do with one bullet you know what you know what

so Russian roulette so just Russian roulette so Russian roulette no um to me I don't like those odds you know somebody told me I like them I like them a lot in fact I mean I'm thrilled yeah but that's because you win either way Oh yeah, because you either get to cease to exist or you have a lot of money, yeah, true. There's plenty of people that would take those odds. You get to put Lily through hell, basically. I get to just ruin a girl that loves life and make all my family. Or Lily, look.

Watch this. You figure out, you figure out for whatever reason, like, she hated you. For some reason, she just... I want to figure it out. You got to figure it out. I'd be gone. You would figure, yeah, you'd be long gone, but, like, for some reason, the reason, she is just ecstatic. she all of a sudden just starts like buying like you know like castle type shit and just like she's been she's been sitting on piles of money

and you just not doing anything with you with it can i ask you guys a question yeah do you guys i don't know if this if you guys watched animal planet as much as i did when i was a kid i watched it a little bit do you remember that do you remember that show with the green holograms where like an animal would pop up and it'd be a It'd be like a Tyrannosaurus wrecks, but it'd be like a sort of like a grid-like hologram of it. Yeah. So like, I remember seeing that. There was a show called, I think, World's Most Extreme on Animal Planet, where the idea was that they would find like, oh, you know, here's the most poisonous snake or whatever. And then they would just do like this weird kind of 22-minute, like mini, not documentary, but like an info.

Like a Bill Nye, Bill Nye, I was he going to say the Bill Nye the entertainment guy. It's what I was going to say. Bill Nye, the science guy, kind of thing. But they would have these 3D animations where they would basically, like, the central premise was let's take these insane attributes of these insane animals and put them in people in holograms in like this 3D in this like fake 3D world. It's really stupid. Because what you end up with is like, if you Google right now, some of the shit, animal

planet's most extreme and the Google image results that you will find are insane. I urge everybody in the chat to in chat in the audience listening to do this as well because they would just be like here's what a human would look like if their mouth was a Venus fly trap and they would just be

horrifying. It would just be horrifying there was this guy with a pig nose I remember. It was like here's the first thing that pops up the pig nose dude it's crazy it's just some like it's just some fat idiot essentially you know how they always like everyone's like oh you pig.

You fucking pig. Dude, there's a million of them and it's just like, let's just make stupid. This is so dumb. I don't remember that show being that stupid though. Fiena's flytrap mouth. On paper, it sounds really cool.

I thought you just gave them the attributes. They're just high out of their minds. Imagine a human being ability to run his past the teeter with the strength of a gorilla. What if Bill Nye, the science guy was actually a rapist? Yeah. And then they like, it's not an animal plant for some reason?

And he's just, all they did is just put him in a position where he's like going, what if you make Bill Nye a black person? Wait, why would this be on animal? That's animal. What if Bill Nye was a serial murderer. Bill Nye, this serial murderer guy. Animals are humans, humans or animals? Animals are not humans specifically.

Humans are animals, something like that. Humans are animals. You're correct. We're not beasts, though. No, we're definitely beastly. I mean, there are people that are beasts. There are plenty of beast. Yeah.

Definitely beastly. They're a beast that, uh, who, uh, who decided to call themselves Mr. Mr. That's so stupid. So I call him some what? So I to call themselves Mr. Mr. Beast. I fucking didn't know.

It was so stupid. It was so bad. You guys didn't it did it. I didn't even register that as like a potential outcome for that joke. Yeah. I thought you meant like, oh, we're all just like literal beasts and we call ourselves like Mr. fucking Maldonado or Mr.

fucking Jameson as if they were as if we're not beasts. Ah. Is what I thought. Yeah. But you just meant literally Mr. Mr. Beast. Do you think that guy,

you know that guy dog pack that was like shit on him? Oh yeah. Did he name himself like he thinks he's like some sort of animal and he was a part of Mr. Beast's crew so he's like, oh, dog pack. Look at me dog pack. And then he got rejected. And that's why he made all of this stupid fucking. Is that real?

Is that real? I feel like it is. I don't, I don't have any evidence to go off of that. I don't, I don't, I'm like, I'm like, I'm, in fact that. making this up. I made this whole thing up. But apparently there's this guy, I don't know, he's foreign as fuck. This white foreign guy was like, Mr. Abyss is he's not so bad. And these dog pack guy, I don't know what the fuck. I don't know where he's from. It beats me, but he made a video shitting all over that dog pack guy. The prospect of somebody with a thick

accent talking about internet drama is very weird to me. It is. It feels very weird because I'm used to either being specifically American dialects or British. Right. That's it. That's it. It feels like everybody else is more concerned with like real things. Yeah. I don't know how to explain.

Like I feel like if I hear like, like if I hear a Palestinian accent, they're probably, you know, like they're probably not talking about, you know, Sabrina Carpenter. You know, they're probably talking about like, you know, horrific shit that's happening. Look, she did something inappropriate again on stage. Boom. His living room disappears Like it's like it picks up his camera still though Bloody Bluttled up

Oh sorry about that I do think it is sorry about that He apologized He cares about his content I'm so sorry about that Unlike all of us He cares about his fucking gods He cares what he's putting out there dude

I care about my content I don't care about it Hours. He cares what his God. Like I said, Zahiroconferter was doing very scale. Boom! He's already off the rails.

And he's flying like, the giants and sky rim. He's fucking just, boom. He's sick and see him holding the fucking camera. Scared. Wait, like he's up in the air vlogging? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know where I'm going to learn. No, he's not. He's just taking flugging. He's like holding it. He's standing in frame. He's bracing for the fall. You see him close. He gets near the ground.

The brace for the fall. Boom. And he fucking, actually, he survives. Yeah. He survives. And where does he land?

Where does he land? He lands right at that. I can't. I was good. I was good. He lands right at that river that they're blocking off. Oh, I don't know.

Yeah. He lands out of check three. I was going to get too morbid. The point was. Yeah. What is he was? Was that like, I view... Free Palestine, man.

What's up? Well, I just, the point is that, like, I kind of view, like, more, you know, modern, like, American dialects as more concerned with trivial shit. Yeah. So, like, it's very, it's weird for me to imagine, like, like, somebody, like, with a thick Sicilian accent. Like, Joe's, uh, Nona talking about Mr. B, it, like, it seems impossible. Mr. Beast. Mr. Beast is coming. Yeah.

Mr. Beast is, is terrorizing Sicily. What do we do? I feel like when I hear Italians, they never sound like that exactly. Of course not, because that's how Mario sounds. Well, I guess it's Mario. They're in Italians' interpretation, that's like, that's a Japanese person's American interpretation of what an Italian sounds like. Let's put it this way. A lot of those exaggerated accents are real, but very few and far between.

Because like, you know, they come from something. Think about like when people think about a black American accent. Like they're always talking about like the southern accent that has migrated. Right. And then somebody will do this super exaggerated version. But it's like, here's the thing. If you've been around enough black gentlemen, there's one that like I can think of like a shit, homie. I'm fin to kill my wife.

That's like how I saw. That's not my vernacular. That's an OJ impression. That's a very. I mean that's, yeah. That checks out. That sounded like him too. Yeah, yeah.

Hey, I'm juice. I'm juice. I'm about to kill this white bitch. You just see that he was like, I'm not, I'm not black. Like, I'm OJ. That's, that's his most classic thing. That's profound, quite frankly. Well, no, because it was, it was asked of him right during the time of the, the riots.

They were after the Rocky King thing. Oh, yeah. And he was like, I'm not black emoji. Yeah, because he just hangs out with a bunch of, like, golf club, like, white people. And he's like, this, this, this. rich shit is my shit. And, and for people, come on, for people to think that he didn't murder those people, it is really so crazy.

Come on. There's no way he wasn't at least involved. That is, like, he was, he was at the very least, deeply involved. Exactly. You know what I mean. He initiated it. He had his, I know that theory about, like, him covering for his son, but even that's the case.

To me, I'm like, you still ultimately, like, do you think anyone's son would be that passion, like, the way, especially the dude, it was, it was, the way the dude was, yeah, like, because, like, his head was. was almost hanging like off off you know like that's not like that's not what a he had ron gold been looking like a pez dispenser dude it's crazy dude dude pez dispensers yeah i have some where i don't know somewhere i have them though you want one you want i got a miles morales one i have a and i think i have dr phil you got a bill i was going to say bill cosby but that's the same thing to me i got a mr beast one no way they make a mr beast pes dispenser did they also

That sounds really believable. I thought I was like, he would, he would do that. Yeah, Mr. Bees is everywhere. He's on, he's on cookware. He's in, like, he's on yo-yo's. He's on fucking, um, dialysis machines. He's in the corner of the room right now. Mr. Beast's iron lungs.

I would buy a Mr. Beast dialysis machine. Yeah, I would too. If, if I, if I needed to go on dialysis, I would choose Mr. Beast's one. Even if I didn't have to go on dialysis. Just a picture of him, just to have one. You know, like, the smile. Like, yeah.

Yeah, I can't even do it. I think you got to like, I think you have to have murderous intent. Yeah. And then someone asks you to smile, like basically the way to get in character. If I put the green goblin mask on it could do it. Yeah. Have murderous intent like you're thinking about murdering everybody who's lesser than you because that's what he's doing all the time. Right, right, right.

And then they ask you to smile. He's lesser than you. I mean, at a certain point that is, it's like Jimmy never sticks around for like a lot of the shoots because he's always doing stuff. But that is someone who just doesn't care about anything or anyone. that's happening. Yeah. He's just making sure that it's just going to finish. He puts pennies in like those air guns and shoots them at homeless people and then embeds them into their skulls. And then the thumbnails like, I, um, I donated homeless people. Yeah, I donated all of my pennies to homeless people. And it's just, they're all flying out of a fucking turret.

A fucking turret. And there's one violently bruised homeless man on the floor. Mr. Beast has the turret and then he fucking rips it off. You fucking halos off the turret. Dude, that shit was so cool. That was like, that was one of the coolest things. When I first did that, it was crazy. At 13 years old, that was the coolest fucking thing possible. That was in three, right?

Yeah, you just rip it off the thing and run around with it. Dope as hell. To me, that was, you never, when I was younger, I thought it was so useless. It's not very wise. It's not, I mean, you're very compromised. You're very vulnerable. It's like glass cannon shit, right? Yeah, but you do a fuck ton of damage.

I was like, you don't do real damage. That was back when I feel like a lot of games really focused. on, it was less about balance and more about like how fun things felt. Like there were definitely guns that you could pick up two of in that game where like you wouldn't even, you could have three of these and they would be useless. Right.

But like it just felt cool to shoot two guns at once and reload them independently and run around with a turret. Yeah, I agree with that. I definitely think PVP has ruined a lot of fun in games. PvP and the internet, man. Well, I mean, the internet is that like serious. Yeah, 100. Well, the idea, not the PVP.

It goes hand in hand. I understand what you mean, but I'm on the side of like, this thing is so broken. Look at this weird insanely broken building. But they're only complaining in PVP. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? Because like, if you're doing PVE, no one gives a shit.

Yeah, everybody loves that shit. Yeah. But then they're like, oh, this is unfair. And I'm like, shut the, like, can I please have fun? Like, I just want to have fun. That was not, I don't care. That's what I was the issue. That's what happened with hell divers.

And then they like, they undid all of it. They like hyperbalancing. for like for like the highest tier players and it's like most people aren't on that level like let let the game be fun yeah it's crazy it profit fucking motives yeah it has really straight things whales threatened to leave because it's it's not fair it's happening in um so many games it's actually you know i'm one of the OG YouTubers that uh played a raid for real oh yeah yeah but I didn't like I didn't whale out because that's insane but like I understand why people hate Gotcha games because there's rich people who

ruined the experience for a lot of people. Yeah, I can't get into them. Bro, there's, I just, just today, just today, I just heard two people left in one of the top clans in that game. And they spent on average $200,000. What the fuck? Who are these people? I don't know. I think a lot of them, I'm assuming.

Who are these people? I think a lot of them made their money in, like, in crypto. I feel like a lot of these people who would play those type of games and spend that kind of money. Because me, I spent money when I was getting advertisements at first. So it balanced out. I'm like, oh, I'm going to invest money to grow my account so then they'll keep feeding me ads. And then at a certain point, they were just like, we're just only going to advertise on retards that don't actually play that have large audiences.

And I'm like, that will have no player retention. Yeah. Because whenever I advertise, people would stick in my game and they would join my clan. And they've made money off of people. And I would just tell people, hey, if you're going to spend anything, just buy small packs. Don't fucking, don't be retarded. Anyway, long story short, the game's completely fucking ruined. because of the same assholes that are that spent probably millions tens of millions of dollars

all together and they're crying about the top chest of stuff I'm like you guys are gay go fuck pussy man fuck like come on I want to have fun with this game my clan was fucking solid and they nerfs so much shit and they buff the fuck out of this one clan boss the hydra clan boss it's not fun anymore they fucking ruin the game because they're all crying it's too it's not fair this one champion It's too OP. And I'm like, fuck you then. I don't care. Yeah.

Imagine if they were fucking pussy. This would never be a problem. Yeah. It would never be because they'd be like, you know, oh, man, this is really hard. You know, I'm going to go have sex with my girlfriend. Who cares? I'm going to beat my dick tight false. We're way back up and try again.

At least that. Like everyone used to do. If they had fun. We used to be a false leave. We used to be a proper country. We would, we would once upon a time. Well, I'll change. Is that a hot coffee?

Is that a hot coffee? It is not hot anymore. Yeah, but it was. It was. I haven't had a hot coffee from a coffee shop in a while. It was nice because it actually feels nice because I'm going to be on. It's actually a little cold right now. Yeah, it's getting, it's getting chilly.

I was like, what that? Yeah. So I was like, I want to, I want to like 60 something degrees in, in my house. You walk out, you want to go warm up. Yeah. A coffee just right up the street. Good. Yeah.

Actually, I was like really happy with it. Not bad. That's an awfully hot coffee pot. Yeah, I was thinking that. I was like, I'm not going to say it. That's why I'm here. That's why you're here. You are with your Mr. B's joke and shit.

To bite on the dumb impulses that we all intentionally shoved to the side. I understand my purpose, you know? You guys need me. You're like a reverse goalie. Come on. Come on in. You guide them. Come on in.

I'm the guy that breaks down the wall for everybody else to run in. Oh, yeah. Berlin. Yeah. Yeah. You know, the guy, that was one guy that crash his head into it. He slammed his head again. David Hasselhoff smash his head in the Berlin wall and broke it down. He wasn't there, right? Yeah, he literally broke the wall down. Yeah, he's a, he's a hero. He's actually, that's why he's famous. He's a hero in Germany. That's actually what happened? Yeah. He broke, well, not, he didn't head butt it, but like, he took the, he took the wall down.

That's why he's like, like, what else is he done? The one thing he did. Um, Baywatch Baywatch. And it's true. Baywatch was a 90s show. Yeah. That's why he became famous. Is that serious? Well,

he was, because look, man, I love how how small the world feels sometimes until you, you see like foreign music

and like, say, their numbers. And Hasselhoff is a fucking rock star over there. And you're like, what the, your mind,

it doesn't work. Like, say, there's a German metal core band. I'll hear to go talk about metal. Now, I'm subconscious now. But like, I look at their numbers on Spotify.

They're getting like no traction in America. You look at their like numbers on social media. But then I look at their Spotify numbers, it's almost 200,000 monthly listeners. Because they're huge, they're German, they're German band. You're huge in Europe. And I'm like, damn, that is. Damn. Like I forget about that.

China, right? I can't. Oh my God. My Twitch. Are you, you're, what? You're, you're dumb. ass face. You're making a joke. Okay. You're making a joke. What I actually not even sure anymore. My mind's, uh, he's getting good. He's getting

good. It's Malaysia. China above it and then Germany, right? So we need to talk about a Mike Tyson versus, uh, Jake Paul. Yeah, that's right. Mike Tyson fought, uh, Jake's, Jake's, Jake Paul. Weekend update, uh, on Saturday and I've had a really fun where they said, I can't remember what the joke was, but it was like, it was something like, uh, Mike Tyson and Jake Paul teamed up last night to defeat everyone watching. And it was very accurate. I didn't watch it at all. I was watching American Dad instead.

You were having a blast with that shit, aren't you? Yeah, I don't know. It's like, I haven't watched dumb adult comedy in a while. So it's like, it's really filling that void. I see. But I was watching it. So I was like, yeah, and I was watching and I realized, oh, the fight's happening. And I thought I might check it out because I do have Netflix.

Yeah. But then I thought... I'll just wait. That's why it's brilliant. Like the, I, there's sometimes, yeah,

I mostly hate monopolies and stuff because then it makes things worse. But, um, I, I, I, I miss the days when

Netflix was kind of like consolidated. And so everything was on like one platform. Right. And now that they're starting to live stream, they're going to get WWE very soon, I think in a couple of months. So I think the beginning of January,

something like that. And then, um, because I get to finally start watching wrestling again. Right. And then like, Men wrestle with each other I'm not watching for the men at all

I'm gay as fuck But I'm not watching for three For three particular women Yeah he keeps talking about Nikita Leon yeah Oh yeah Yeah leone What you call it The fucking the fucking

The tall, the big one Oh you're talking about Ria Ripley Ria Ripley and Stephanie Hammer Vage Yeah dude she's fire Yeah Stephanie Hammer Vagge is crazy Dude like it's crazy that they just let her wrestle naked Yeah yeah

I was like this crazy like They made the exception solely for her. Just because there's another, there's another really hot one for her next, for her next bout. It's going to be really exciting. Who's she wrestling?

Uh, uh, I was excited. I was about to fight, I was about to say something crazy. Listen. Louis was going to find me in the room watching that is, what are you doing?

What are you doing, Kingston? Like, it's wrestling. I love it. And then they're just literally, they're just shaking their asses or something. There's like,

this laughing full of mall laughing. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, take a bite out of my desk. Oh, my gosh. But so. Yeah, so Mike Tyson fought Jake Paul, Jake Paul won. Jake Paul won.

Well, look, if you weren't stupid, you knew Jake Paul would win. Like, right, if you weren't stupid, because there was people that were some delusional that are like, oh, no. Mike's a beast. He's a, he's a, look at his training footage. Oh, my guys. Why does America, like, it's a complete amnesia. People don't understand, man. Like, just four years ago, he fought Roy Jones Jr.

And like, he looked like he was fucking. in his 50s. Yeah. You know, like he was slower. He was not ferocious. This was just four years ago. People didn't watch Mike Tyson. I think that's the thing.

People didn't watch Mike Tyson's fights. I, even I, who watched the later ones, I was too late to watch when he was a demon. People saw clips of him. Wait, you had to catch it, but yeah, people saw clips of them. They saw the clips and I'm saying if they... Well, so what happens?

People saw the clips, right? By the time I saw the Holyfield fight between him, he was not the dominant monster he was when he was younger already. By that time already he was already like, oh, this guy's getting older. Well, he was, it was, um, he was almost 40 then, right? It was a lot of things. It was post, no, it was post-custamato too. That's true.

Post-cust, um, uh, Don King, who's a piece of shit that took advantage of him. Terrible. Um, post, uh, his, I also, it's a little, um, controversial that he, you know, he was a, he's a convicted rapist. And, um, yeah, dude. But he's, it's one of those things. A fighter? I mean, there isn't that many fighters that I know of

That are convicted rapists I made I made a tweet right and I was like it's insane how like so many people in combat sports Tend to be like huge pieces of shit like I mean obviously but like there it actually is particularly modern Well I don't actually don't have very many examples of that I think a lot of them are just glaring especially when it's as soon as they talk if you think of them having like they're just have a bad character They're just piece of shit but I mean as far as being like oh oh like Criminal.

Like they're like terrible people. I mean like genuinely terrible people like John Jones. They swept under the rug. All the many things he's done. He beat his wife after he got inducted into the Hall of Fame. Yeah, literally. Like he beat his wife in Vegas. After?

Yeah, he got inducted on the Hall of Fame, got drunk and beat up his wife in a hotel. Well, if it's after, that's pretty unreasonable. Yeah, if it was before, it would have been acceptable. Yeah, that's what we got to do to get there. But like, you're already there. Like, calm down. You're a legend. We're a legend.

We did that. And then, you know, Dane and everybody just sweeping on the rug. There was a guy who was a former NFL player, Greg Hart. who joined the UFC. He got cut because he just sucked. I kept getting knocked out. But he beat his wife. He was an NFL player, you know, like a lot of NFL people with CTE and beat their wives.

So he got into the UFC already beating his girlfriend or wife, whoever. And so everyone's like that off the list. And then everyone's like Dana, what the fuck's wrong with you? Why are you just bringing in these terrible people? And then because Dana used to be like this, never put your hands on a woman. He said shit like that back in the day. And then he got caught in Mexico slapping the fuck out of his wife. There's a footage of him

Like she slaps him And then he just fucking like Powers up dude He's just all three of his bars He's like and then he just Bam bam And then yeah It was pretty brutal

And then he was just like That was the first time I've ever done And I'm super embarrassed Imagine These people are professional liars Like it's not even like Do you believe me or not I'm just gonna lie no matter what

Imagine Imagine hitting a woman hitting you And you being like Oh yeah, this woman that I'm way bigger and stronger than I'm gonna strike you back I'm also, I'm 50 years old and this is the first time I've done this now I've lived my whole ass life never hitting a woman Then all of a sudden now that there's a camera happening

Yeah fucking beyond me There's the first time I've ever done it You live through the golden age of wife meeting And you choose recently to start They lived through 50? No 50 I think like the 50s was like the era Where it was like prime time to beat the fuck out of a woman I think they actually back then I feel like, I feel like it was probably like the 60s, 70s, 80s were probably prime.

They were still definitely doing it back then. I think people were still doing it back then, but I feel like that was the golden, like, before the, for the feminism. I feel like in the 50s, I feel like in the 50s women were too afraid to step out of line. Because they've been, but they would be less. You're right, dude. There would be less. I'm actually going to have to agree with them. I think, I don't know.

We're making all this shit up. Of course we are, but it's all a vibe. I feel like, I see what you're coming from, right? It's like, oh, yeah, we've heard, but I think they're, they've, I think it was okay to beat them then. That's why it was like, they got there to a point, you know, we were like, oh, yeah. But they weren't doing many things to be beaten because it was so okay. They've been beating so much. It was so okay.

There's real tech here, man. I know, I really think so. Post-60s would like, with free love and a lot of women were starting to, like, be lesbian and do like, oh, I don't need to, I don't need a man in the 80s. They started to like, oh, I can have a credit card and all this shit. Yeah, and also crack. And, yeah. Don't forget the age.

Don't forget the age. Yeah. And so men were just like, I need to hit as many things as possible. Because like they're just, you know, they weren't, they weren't on, they weren't completely on top anymore. Suffrage. All this shit will start happening. They're just being very upset. Yeah, man.

So you said one thing. Sounds like a golden era, man. Bam. Dana White came out of the womb and just started slapping his mom. And then all of a sudden he wants to be like, oh, I never heard a womb before. I'm like, these people. But anyway, Mike Tyson, yeah, convicted rapist. I will say, I think one of the reasons why people give him a pass is because it's,

seems like he's somebody who has been rehabilitated because there's a lot of people like say john jones a great example who is continuously a villain he's never stopped being a villain and so he he tries to pretend like oh i'm a better person and then he beats his wife he gets drunk and arrested again he slams his head on a cop car he's a fucking monster he threatened um the the new drug people when they came to his house like on they were celebrating his friend's birthday they came to his house and then she pressed charges because he threatened took her phone and threatened her one of the women and uh he still a monster. That was just, I think, earlier this year. Yeah. Or late last year.

Wasn't work. You're like, yeah. Chris, I know all about John Jones. I'm Chris. For Mike Tyson, I'm pretty sure like, it just seems like I don't, I don't validate what he did at all. So I mean, I don't validate it. That's crazy. You'll say. Well, first of all, hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm sure there's people based. I, wait, wait, wait, wait, well, I want to hear this. Hold on. I want to hear this. Because you are the, you are the, you are the Chris Brown defender. I still do not defend Chris Brown,

but I understand he was a dumb kid that did some stupid. Roll the tape. But I don't, insert. I never said he wasn't, he was, I never said he was innocent of what he did. He did that to make him say he was innocent. I never said that. Please. There's no context in my life at 19, fucking 20, 15, ever that I would have beat a woman, especially to that degree.

Crazy work. Especially to that degree. Crazy. Maybe a little bit less. Maybe a little less. Maybe I wouldn't a bit in her. So I said I would never bite her women's, but especially like if if a woman's attacking me, I'm going to defend myself and like push them off me. But I'm not going to savagely beat a woman.

Exactly. But that's why we say Chris Brown is insane because he literally could have just stopped the car and tossed her. Oh yeah. And instead he punched the shit of her and bitter like a fucking animal. Yeah. Like that's just like what are you doing, gang? Like biting is, to me that's the crazy part. It's probably.

People hit women all the time And people that are weaker than them all the time Because they're just terrible people Okay But the animal shit is crazy But people do that all the time There's like terrible people always beating weaker people Right

That's really what it's about Because if there was a giant woman attacking you No one would feel bad if you started punching her Because she's so huge Yeah You'd be yes But you know That's my entire life

We live in a clown world So yes No if Brock Lesner's fucking daughter Started attacking you No one would feel bad Because she's a monster We live in a clown road. She's huge.

I didn't forget how Looney Tuna's pride of this planet is. I've seen it. People don't. It's even in the combat sports world, people are like, oh, this girl is so huge. I wouldn't mind if she fought a man because it would be interesting. Derek, you're right. The basketball group or wouldn't. I mean, look, but that's what matters.

But the, we live in a clown world. I don't care about the plurality. The plurality is what matters. Yeah, there's a vocal minority of every single possible. Like, there's probably like at least 10 people who eat. microchips. You know what I mean? Like, yes, they do. There will be thousands of people that would be like, you're a fucking asshole.

It was like, that was pretty much a bearer was fighting. And like, you're an asshole, Derek. You heard this one back and it's like, she can't believe you. Derek, you were like, she picked me up and put me halfway through a car. And I had to defend myself. And it was like, you're an asshole. Yeah, there's going to be a couple. You're also black.

And then the racism would show up. Those chivalrous people that won't, that would say that. But those people are also. The people that are, you know, they're suspect. The ones that are super. Super sus. That are doing that. Yeah.

It's like the ones that the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

the, the, it is unfortunate. Like, it is unfortunate. Like, I know we've talked about this before, but like,

it is unfortunate how, like, there's just kind of like an inherent undercurrent of cynicism. Yeah. Where like, if you see somebody, like,

hunting pedophiles, there's always like a, there's always like an inkling in your brain. It's like, going to wait too hard on the pavement. It's, it's the same way that, it's the same thing I feel about,

like, people who have like a really strong desire to like work in fields where they're just surrounded by children you know where it's like I don't want to feel that way necessarily but at the same time it's just like why do you want to be around children there's also evidence of like yeah no there's evidence of by the way I know it's possible for you just like oh I just love kids yeah sure of course there's more evidence often in the contrary to what you're saying but like it's still just feels weird it's like yeah oh that's what's your people that are fucking pediatric doctors are not like harming kids.

No, yeah, I would bet. I would bet money. The last majority of teachers aren't harming kids, you know? Right. Yeah, it's just like. Yeah, it's in place. Why do you want to be there so bad? I feel like you're at the very least you have to pretend like you hate your job.

You know? Which is unfortunate because it's like, to me, I think if the harder it is to obtain that job, the more I believe you. So a doctor, yeah, be a nutrition,

like something like that? I'm like, that takes way too long to you just be like, what pedophile would be like, I'm going to study vigorously for all these, when you could just join a church, you know what I mean? Yeah. That's like really the why there's so many in the church

where people don't want to talk about that shit, right? Because they're like, oh, I'm tied to this stuff, blah, blah, blah. But when you look at the numbers, I mean, it's every fucking week. There are multiple old dudes getting arrested for having either CP or molesting a child. Every fucking week. Can I say something? I'm playing call duty right now, obviously. Zer, zert.

There is So they have a So they have a currency In the game Called cod points And it's called cod points And it keeps saying like Do you want to spend your

It keeps saying like how much Like oh you've earned this much CP And I'm like It is 2024 This has been an accurate This has been like an abbreviation For a while now I am bewildered

Yeah That they have not changed I get like Who the fuck really thinks about that But like If you're online If you're like an online person. Yeah.

That's an acronym that you know. Because people will get busted for it and then it's like it's generally abbreviated in a lot of articles. But it's so weird to see it in the game. Like with its own with its own like graphic. It's so strange. That's our minds is being poisoned, man. We are standing too close to the void. That is true.

Yeah. We're definitely like too. I saw somebody. I can't remember who it was. But somebody was wearing a medallion that set CP on it. And it went viral. And it was their abbreviation

I can't remember who it was But I remember that going viral Because we all know How that looks If you're If your name If your first name is C And your last name is P

Do you go by You force your middle name Into your name You have to you now At that point At this point You want to It's kind of like Chris Paul

Like we're just talking about CP3 Yeah Yeah Yeah Childport third Child Point 3 You got to put like a

CP3 CRP Or Yeah put something in there He's got three of them. He's got three CPs. Yeah, you got at this point, I'm sure he's got a lot of shit now. Now, because, like, he's been CP3.

He's been playing basketball for a while. When I think about how long he's been playing basketball, it's crazy. Basketball. Him and LeBron, like, they've been playing for a long. LeBron's been playing for, like, almost over 20-something years. LeBron's still alive? Yeah. Yeah, barely.

Oh, that's the plane one. Yeah, yeah. The helicopter. Yeah. Oh, oh, yeah. The helicopter one. I like how we make, you make, you make. up vehicles and I mix up people in that situation.

Yeah. It's weird. What's going on? A lot of sensible. But like, yeah, you know. It's not sensible to confuse a fucking helicopter for a plane at all. But like, they both fly. Okay.

And they're both black. What do you mean? Yeah, I agree. Like, I agree. So did you see that, uh, did you catch any footage at all of the fight? I saw Mike Tyson's ass. Oh, yeah. That was sick.

I saw that. I saw that people were having a hard time watching it on Netflix because Netflix's servers were fucked or something. That was interesting because I only had one problem. for just a few seconds. Two in the beginning and that was it. Yeah, it was actually just post the ass shot.

Right. I feel like a lot of people more like just came on or something because of that. Yeah. I had a little glitch. We started and it was fine. I saw people, I saw Chavo of System of a Down. Like it's funny to sing famous as people that technically should have better working stuff.

But just showing that like, I love when stuff like that grounds us. It's like the best phone you can get is the iPhone whatever is out. My Netflix is failing me. I take it Release music I'll take that Make a song about Netflix

But yeah You're all pissed off And like turned off the fucking thing And I'm like That's hilarious That I'm having a better Experience than you And I'm poor

Yeah so So it's pretty good Yeah it wasn't working Ash shot was pretty fucking The best part of it Yeah That was the best part of the event It was really sad

The fight before their fight Was very good The woman fight? There was plenty of I heard the woman fight was pretty good. Like I saw that. She got robbed. That poor girl got her.

So here's the thing. The thing that was annoying was the ref was trying to do the right thing. Took one point because Katie, whatever the fuck her name is. I just forget her name because I didn't follow her. She fights extremely dirty. And the way she starts is she leads with her head. So like basically caused a head butt, caused a cut. She got one point taken away.

She wouldn't stop when he, Even the ref kept trying to. He should have taken another point, but he obviously was kind of probably pressure to let them fight. But she leaves with her head, gets in close, and then we just keep trying to hook constantly.

So, oh, accidental head, but oh, accident. And then it was really frustrating. So because of that, it wasn't checked enough. And the judge's score card, she did more damage. She pulled it off.

But ultimately, the other chick Amanda Serrano probably should have taken it. I feel like judges in boxing don't make sense because I feel like only the people fighting can assess the damage You know what I mean? I think that's wrong

Like if I'm in a fight And I get hit Only I know how much damage I'm sustained It's totally visually I know what you mean though You dictate yes You dictate your health bar Right I guess

Like how do I feel? And they would ask you It would be like I feel fine Yeah It would be such a disaster I'm all right I'm all right

It'd be such I go another round Then they're dying. And they die. There's people that fucking fight. People like that whole fucking fight we just had about Tyson and fucking Paul is all based on fucking Tyson's ridiculous pride. It's like my guy. It's you.

It takes solid. Was it pride or money? Both. Oh, both. I think he was his money. A huge bag. I don't think he has pride. I feel like he doesn't care.

No, actually, no. No, that's not true. Actually, every interview I see of him is like, I'm nothing who cares. But to say that and then still take that fight even though you know you're so far behind your pride. Well, then, no, but that lends itself to the argument. He doesn't care about what the legacy is. He doesn't really care. So, yeah, why not accept millions of dollars?

I think that's, well, that's also, he contradicts himself very much so. Yeah, that's one thing that he's been chasing is that, like anybody else that was probably a badass like that in his prime. He misses that feeling. Sure. And in his mind, he still feels like that guy. But his body's fucking broken. So this seemed like what he was trying to do was prove to himself that he's still that guy. And, but his body's fucked.

And so him knowing that He's like I'm fucking over the hill My body's broken I'm gonna get a huge bag But also in his mind It's kind of one of those things Like what if I get a chance to knock him to fuck out Then I'm still that nigga you know

But like it was so clear he was wearing a fucking knee brace He couldn't walk very well So then in the first round He kind of already his legs were fucked Like it wasn't like oh he's been compromised By getting kicked or something Like an air of kickboxing He you saw old Tyson

Rush in close the distance and then Jake Paul's backing up and then he couldn't do it anymore and then because he couldn't do it anymore Jake Paul because Jake Paul I think would have knocked him out if Mike Tyson was actually aggressive

the entire time because Jake Paul gained a considerable amount of weight to fuck him up because if he was just going to put on a show you wouldn't put on all that weight there's no point so I think once he saw how pathetic it was when Mike couldn't close the distance

there's parts where he would try to like bounce in and out to be like get his legs going but he couldn't close the distance anymore so it was just pathetic. It was just sad and so he even said in the press conference shake was like yeah there was no need to hurt

a person that you know I didn't need to hurt him anymore there's no need so they kind of exposed everyone saying that's fake well it wasn't fake it was real time realizing that oh yeah I'm fighting a 50 year old it was it was a oh yeah

it was a dickhead kid realizing like oh shit my dog can be hurt you know how do you not know that well I think he was hoping that he was going to be much more aggressive. Like Mike Tyson was going to be, look, the way he came on the first round, maybe he was going to give him like four rounds of that. Because Jake Paul even said, I'm going to knock him out in the fourth round. Um, that's what I said that. I'll probably knock him out the fourth round so I was

thinking. Like he'll play with him and then destroy him. But then he got, he had nothing for him past two rounds. So then he just kind of like, like, did nothing. Jake was like, I guess I'm not going to knock this. He's like, I guess I'm not going to destroy it because it's just too sad. And I'm like, well, he should have taken to find the first place asshole, you know? Yeah. I honestly, at this point, I almost rather, I'm kind of, part of me is glad he didn't get fucked up, Mike Tyson, but there's a part of me where I'm like, don't patronize him. That's almost worse. You know, like someone like playing with their food kind of thing. I'm like, dude, just fuck me up. At this point, if you can knock me out, just knock me out.

It's like when Silva fought freaking, what's his name? Um, Izzy, you know? Oh, and Izzy kind of didn't like, is he didn't like destroy him. Because a young, young, Silva would have, I think he would have, I think he would have been a great match. I think he would have been a great match. I think he would have fucked us on. But I think, but I think the idea is that like, he was like, I'm not trying to beat up someone that helped me want to do this. Right, but this, but that's the old person took the fight knowing that was part of the conditions. Oh, yeah. So that's the thing.

It's a double edged sword. I'm just thinking like, hey, man, if you have the ability to fuck my ass, fuck my ass, just fuck it. Like, don't play with it. Don't tickle my asshole. Like, don't like this is either do it or don't. So that's one of those things where it's like, if you agree to fuck my ass, fuck my ass. Yeah, it caught action. If you can fuck my ass

Call my ass Don't fucking Don't play with me Yeah I don't know I remember hearing about this For months And I just

I have no history With Mike Tyson at all I was like Oh from Mike Tyson Mysteries It's crazy That show is goaded man It is great

It is way fun And it has any right to be It's this fucking Fight or Flight I think about this Fighter flight thing Anytime I hear the word Fighter Flight

Because there's like A segment where he's just like Punching the shit out of Everyone I'm flighting I love that show That show That show is way...

The fucking old. Like the guy who basically invented boxing was like the ghost. Yeah. And that stupid bird thing. That's Norm McDonald. That's the bird. I think that show is... That show is such a sleeper of how fucking ridiculously funny it is.

Yeah. It is great. Because it is all the perfect elements for a ridiculous fun. It's like Venture Brothers levels of like just ridiculous. Because Venture Bros. is insane. Venture Brothers is insane. I watched... I watched like,

the first like four seasons of that show and there were moments where I was laughing so hard that was like I kind of just have to go to bed yeah yeah like I'm gonna keep people up I I really appreciated um uh adult swim because it validated how many people there were that were out there that had the dumbest fucking senses of humor like me you know what I mean like there was because there wasn't many people of course I had many friends that we all laughed at the same shit but It seemed like we were kind of outliers, you know? Like, and there were certain things you wanted, you didn't want to joke about with, like, say, the people in school, the larger portion of school, like the more popular-esque people. I'm going to keep some of these things to myself.

You know, we can't make really dark jokes. I feel like you could get a pretty good handle on somebody's sense of humor by putting them in front of a Grand The Auto game and just watching how they play it. I guess so, yeah. I actually do think, like, there's something in that. I feel like if you take full advantage of that sandbox and just go to town, I feel like that's, that is a big indicator of, of, uh, humor compatibility. Mm. Okay. Yeah.

I think that's not, that's not bad. Yeah, that's one of the shows. I think if you put on Spider-Man, not Spider-Man, not Spider-Man, put on a SpongeBob and you don't laugh. I think like, oh, you're clearly, like, there's something off with you. Well, that's, ooh. Yeah, that one's off. I feel like that's a lot more relatable to. Like, I think, like, if you, if you, if people.

People, to me, there's a lot of humor in there that I feel like that would concern me if you didn't laugh. I'm like, you suck. There's so much. There's so much. There's so much. There's so much. There's so much. If you, if you genuinely like, like, I, like, if you try to go in their non-biases and like try to watch Spondraub.

And you're doing like, oh, this isn't funny. Yeah. And like the fucking, uh, well, in a Cosby sort of way. Yeah. Or like the freaking, uh, totally, totally like shit like that, that is just actually just funny. I really, I mean like, oh, oh, you're. You're off. Okay, cool.

You have to forget my address. You can't, I got to make sure you don't know what I'm there is. There are, I think there are some things that would be, you know what I think is a good test because this is, it's technically niche but not,

the Powerpuff Girls, specifically if you're a boy. If you're, if you're a male, one of the things about the PowerPuff Girls, I think, to be what show would show characters. First of all,

you're not afraid because this show seemed like it was just geared towards girls. So someone would be like, afraid to watch that show. Like, I wouldn't fucking watch that. It's gay. But if you watch that and you can appreciate just how brilliant it is, I really think, like, you're, you're an okay person.

You really have, you're grounded, you're reasonable. You're not fucking some weird misogynist fucking freak. Like, uh, if you can enjoy the power of girls, I feel like, you're going to be all right. That show was, right. That show was, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, this is for everybody for shows. It was like, no, that shows for anyone that watches it. I was watching a scene recently again where they, uh,

when they jumped Modo Judo in jail. And Buttercup puts her foot in his mouth. She, like, he's like, you're going to go for that? He's like, no, I don't want to. And he's like, are you sure? He's like, no, please. And he's like, if you go for it, I'll crush you. And he's like, I'm not going for it.

And then there's a solid frame where she slammed her foot in his mouth and its eyes protrude out of his mouth. And I was like, this shit is, because it was a thing where they asked, would you rather? That, that, that, that. that were like thermos that were like particularly like whenever whenever they fight mojojo it's brutal like it's brutal every single time like it's not it is they always have his brain exposed always on the floor always always like poor guy always but there's this thing right some guy was like would you rather fight batman uh once a year for 10 years and it's arkum

batman of course right the worst version of him yeah yeah would you rather fight the powpub girls once a day for a year. What's a day? I was like Batman. I'll take Batman. If you had no choice, yeah.

Yeah. Or I just, if it was between the two, I think I'm. Yeah, I guess I would do bat. Well, because at least it would give me a year to live. Because you're not surviving a fucking assault from Batman. You're not. Like the whole idea that he doesn't kill people. I think it's his power.

He's like he can magically leave people at one HP. Yeah. But it's like, it's like killing. indirectly. You know what I mean? Because that's what's actually happening. Is the Spider-Man weapon up to a building and then like an hour later dissolved and it falls in a death? You know? It's like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seriously thought

about that so as I was a kid. I was like, how are they going to get that guy? Yeah, the police are like really on the clock with that stuff. Yeah. And the city's big. They're not going to fucking find all those motherfuckers. They have an hour. You're going around the city whooping a bunch of thugs. I'm like, I'm like, they also don't care enough. Yeah. This New York. This is New York City. It really are New York. They would kill Spider-Man. They would definitely be like, oh, we're going to kill him. At certain point, like, you guys have given us way

too much work. We just want to chill and beat black people. Like, this is really annoying that we have to like... Why can't I read? I actually don't know if I agree. What? If New York City would... If Spider-Man was real, that they would have a problem with him. The NYCPD would 100% have a lot. The police department would. I actually don't think the people... People would be fine with it. People would love him probably.

That's what I mean, like, the whole, like, the whole, like, the whole, like, the newspaper wouldn't really get away with the, the whole, like, oh, Spider-Man's a fucking medicine. It was like, no, he, that's sick as hell. They would put inflammatory things in there about him, obviously. Damn, I'm actually confused about that or conflicted. Because I want to believe that's what would happen. That they'd be like, get the fuck out of here. Spider-Man's great.

But then I keep getting surprised at the level of human stupidity. You know what I mean? Yeah, I guess for me, like I think about that place. And I think about how many people are celebrated in that place for barely anything. Like, everybody was like, oh, there's a guy. Did you see that thing where? Oh, come to Union Square Park. I'm going to eat 5,000 cheese balls or whatever.

And he had like an audience. I remember that. And people were like cheering him on. They were like, yeah, eat it. And he got through all of them with like a full audience just watching him for free in the park. I'm just like if you can be celebrated there for that. Yeah. Like I do feel like a dude doing fucking crazy flips all the time is probably going to be pretty.

They should. But you know what would happen? Spider-Man is trans. Spider-Man is trans. kids. Like that would pop up. But I think there's, for me,

I just don't. That's Oklahoma's problem. I don't think. I don't think for me always. I never thought Spider-Man would be a very good person, I think, if he came from New York. I felt like he wouldn't be as like sparkly clean.

What are you saying about yourself? I mean, I know what the product. I also left there before I was done forming into a person. It definitely tainted me. I'm definitely tainted because I was there. It tainted me. But like,

I just can't believe Spider and be like, oh, yeah, I was going to do the right. things the right thing is the right thing he'd be like I'll do the right thing you don't think there's any people like that in New York I think there are people that would New York but I thought the shit he would come in contact with all the time but fuck him up but do you think there's like not to mention he's also a geek

he no no geek in New York is gonna be a sparkling good guy I just can't believe it I don't know I have I guess I've no comment he might be he might be like a paragon of like you know I'm better than that you know I'll try to be better yeah because because of him people like me wanted to be better I guess but he didn't really, if like it's raining universe where it's just Spider-Man, I'm like, this guy is gonna be a kind of a dickhead. Well, he is.

I wouldn't say that. He was. I was like he was forming into one. I don't know. I think the whole isn't, all right, I guess, I don't know. To me, the whole story of Peter Parker is literally like, he is just an average person and he is selfish and he is kind of a dick,

but he knows the cost of what that impulse does. So he's constantly like trying to be better. trying to not do that. But like, that's him. I would have... He is the person who's going to be like, ah, fuck it. This guy ripped me off.

So, yeah, I'm going to let him get robbed. That's him. I feel like that was him. No. I feel like that was him. All right. I feel like he gained a real sense of, like, understanding as he got older.

Sure. Definitely when he was younger, like young Peter Parker and to like, up until like, maybe before Gwen and Captain Stacey's death, that could be argued, but older, him, the one that we know, is not that guy. He's a good dude. He's, he's not that guy on the

surface anymore because he understands how to not be that. But like that's, that's an inherent Well, no, I think if you're, I feel like that's underneath on some level all the time. I don't think so. I don't see why not. I think, I think once you learn from your experience, you kind of, if you truly learn from it, not if you're like, I guess I'll be better, but like, I think you become a better person. I'm not saying he's not a better person. I'm just saying, like, that person's there still. I think that person. That's the thing. That's the thing. right there that I wonder. I don't think it's there much.

The people that have been rehabilitated, I'm like, do they still have the, is there a point that something can trigger them to, like, relapse back into their old words? And it's possible. It's very possible. Particularly things like that, right? We're like, yeah.

You're like, people that are, like, very angry people. Really, very angry people. Some of them don't truly get, because the thing is that, I feel like we don't really experience real rehabilitation, you know? Like, we don't really see that. You don't have a frame of reference, you know? Not often, yeah.

Like, some people are, like, rehabilitated. Like, I think, like, I have uncles that, were like in really in street life and then they came back out and they were like for the same to them they were like very much so like oh I don't I don't want to do that but but they probably weren't pushed to the point where like it's really like make you think it's because they're like blood fucked and stuff uh in prison like they're probably like they're like that that shit sucked I don't want to do that maybe that maybe that man that's suck

I love the idea I love the idea of somebody walking out of prison after like 20 years for the first time. And they're just like, they take a breath and fresh air and they're like, that's soft, dude. Never again. Yow. The smooth of the punch bob thing.

I think, I think like, I don't know. He j walks across the street for the prison and gets arrested again. That would break my heart. That's heartbreaking. Fuck out of your. That's such a life. You're going to Texas to die.

You're going to die in Texas like a horse. Like a horse and a retarded person. Oh my God. But like I think, I don't know. I think once upon the time he was that. I agree though. I think there's validity for like once upon the time

he's a bit of a dickhead. I don't know. I think what makes Peter Parker's, I like him specifically because of that. I think because if he was just like a if he was just like a Superman, you know. I don't think he's Superman. I wouldn't say that.

No, but that's what I mean. If he was. If he was like just kind of like a good, like he just always does the right thing. It doesn't really doubt at all. Like that'd be like a. really boring character. For sure.

If it's done, if it's done like genuine, because I feel like, I don't know, I feel like Superman gets a bad rap a lot because of like, what he stands for. I am talking about,

yeah, I'm talking about the stereotype of Superman, to be fair. But like I think a lot of like, I think people that are good guys are needed to be aspired toward. Sure. I think they're very important for the world.

I think we don't have good guys in the world anymore. And I think that's probably a huge. They're there. They're just not, like, why. They're not seeking fame, so that's the problem. Oh, we don't have good guys to aspire to, you know? They exist.

You got to find them. You got to find them because, yeah, they're just not good people. Like, you even think about, say, politicians, right? When you think about Bernie Sanders, he's been around for a long time. But he wasn't like, I'm going to go on every, not until he felt like, okay, shit's so fucked, I have to do this. He's been talking to colleges for years. Yeah, but that's colleges. That's true.

That's what I mean. But yeah. But he's gone to college for years. I've seen many footage of them because the thing you're supposed to do right with a politician is go see the resume, go see what they've stood for for decades and see like if they check out. I'm like, oh, Bernie Sanders has been consistent in his entire career. Cool. Fucking 40 years. 40 years of being on the right side of things. It's crazy.

Being consistent for that long is impressive to me. Like I value that. To me, I feel like that it's sad that that's impressive because it shouldn't be. Right. Yeah, exactly. No, no. Bernie Sanders should be unremarkable. Yeah.

Yeah. Totally. Because like. No, not no. Yes. Yes and no. Yes and no, right? Because it's like, for the nature of it, what is it should be impressive.

Like, oh, this is a person being good consistently should be an oppressive thing because it it's still them being good, but yes, it shouldn't be an uncommon thing. To be impressed. Yeah, it shouldn't be uncommon enough. You'd be like, wow, that's abnormally great. I don't even think I'm saying good necessarily. I just mean like, oh, you believe what you believe and that's what it is. Yeah, you're not a fucking flip-flopping charlatan.

Yeah, exactly. I would say like, yeah, but in Akana's a Bernie, right? Bernie has been like. JD Vance being like, he's literally Hitler. and then like two years later he's like actually like he's my favorite i'll suck the cum out of his cock. Job is so bad he filled the office with insiders and then fucking two months later I love you, daddy. Dude, the fact that it was months for him is crazy.

And all that. Shameless. His entire body of work of shitting on Trump is just still on the internet. It's not like he even, I wish he would at least delete the stuff. I'd be like if Eminem was like, I love Jarl. I love Jarl. I love ICP. I love fucking Joe Rogan's like

I love Carl Spencea what do you mean I love I love Joe Budden I fucking I mean at least delete your paper trail like your He knows they not looking at shit That's the only thing that because we've seen Paulson's flip-flop by crazy we've always seen that It's just

Have the decency to delete it I don't know man I think I think for someone For someone to be consistently that good for a long time Is impressive Yeah Well so it's shouldn't be. It should be, but yes, I agree. But so, since we're on this topic already, RFK, he's going to be, he's going to be health and human services or something.

We've got the Trump appointments, and I love all of them, because it is so clear, like, look, we've talked about this on the show before, and you can, you can agree with us, you can disagree with us or not. But like I have said for a long time that, you know, the right wing's goal in government is to make the government worse at doing their job. Like, it's a little, Because without that, their entire foundation of what their belief, like, it all falls apart. Like, their whole belief is that, like, the government shouldn't do anything because they're incompetent. And so the only way to make that true is to make it so, right? And so here we do.

Here we're at Dr. Oz is, like, doing something. He put Dr. Oz in some weird position. He's got Matt Gates up there, which, by the way, the Matt Gates stuff is awesome. Because there's a report going out, I guess, like, an investigation or whatever. Yeah. And apparently, so it might come out. I saw this morning that like, I can't remember if it was Marjor Taylor Green or like one of the, that was one of the conservative women. I can't remember.

Who cares? But they were like, she was threatening to release private info about sexual favors done if the, if the report gets out. Which is by the way, the most damning thing you could possibly say. Because it's just like, damn, what's in that fucking report immediately becomes suspicious? So Matt Gates is there. Fucking Dr. Oz has a position. There's a couple of other people who are just like, what the fuck.

How do you have this position? Matt Gates and Dr. Oz is probably, Dr. Oz one's actually just funny to me. It is funny. Specifically just funny. He got his ass whooped in Pennsylvania, which I thought was great, you know, when he was trying to be, what was it?

He was trying to be a senator, I think, in Pennsylvania. Right. And he got fucking trounced. Yeah. But he still got rewarded for being a Trump loyalist. But it's so clearly just. Gates, Trump loyal.

It's basically Trump loyalists. Yeah, yeah. So Gates, right. Yeah. But it's alleged sex trafficker. But it's all such ridiculous people that it's just like it's fun. You know what it reminds me? I feel like Trump is kind of doing like an Adam Sandler type thing where he's like,

I want to make a movie and, you know, here's all my friends. I'm going to put them the same fucking people. Just like let me pick these guys. They haven't done anything relevant in a long time. They're not really that important. But like I'll put them in my movie. God damn it. It's that shit.

Like you son of a bitch I'm in. It's that shit. Yeah. It's just grownups. It's just grownups at one and two. It would be great. Evil niggas. It would be great.

if the idea wasn't to, you know, fuck our government in the ass, right? Like the idea where you say like, oh, the government sucks because it's all inefficient where it's like, well, ask the question. Why is it inefficient? Oh, oh, because you guys are regulating too much shit. Yeah.

You guys are making it way harder for us to kill people and to maximize our profits. This is really frustrating. So you suck government. And now I'm so curious to see the level. Is it going to be incrementally, and capitally, are they going to slowly peel things back?

Or is it just going to be wholesale like, oh, we can do whatever. We're going to poison an entire state to like build like shit. Yeah, like I wonder how, that's what I'm curious about.

I'm curious about it too. I'm excited to keep tallies. I'm going to do like a yearly roundup. I do like this year in this fucking disaster of a place we call America, this happened. I think it's going to be wild.

Like, when I saw Dr. I was like, oh, this is going to be good. This is going to be good This is going to be great Yeah There's one guy That I feel like Trump

Some guy that used to be He used to be a reality show Guy on MTV But he actually went to like Law School or some shit Oh really? Trump picks someone Is that the guy from Fox and Friends or whatever?

No Not that guy Not that guy Different guy I can't remember his name Because I think Yeah Pete Hague Seth or something Yeah he's

He's just a bunch of people That he knows It's people that he knows And it's people There's a guy I don't know his name but he's clearly trying to get a job right now because he is

there's he's he's purposefully glazing on like he's oh we got to do whatever he says If I saw that guy Pat her head and jump to He's that's his whole campaigner right now Like was that the bald guy who was like If Trump says this it's this

Yes And it's just like I'm like That's awesome You don't believe that at all But I understand you're trying to get a job Yeah I respect you know You gotta get your money Yeah

But it's funny man I don't know It's very clownish I'm I was hoping that Trump's first executive order, I don't remember if I said this already, he was like that he just puts an entire clown tent over the United States. Like he spends all of our money and just turns us into a full-bode security for this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The giant nylon tent to go all the way over the United States. It's just you hear fucking clowns sounds and you just hear the, honks and shit. The clown music, that war song or that marching song. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's just on fucking huge sirens. It's supposed to be like Doomsday Sirens.

but it's just playing that 24 hours a day. I'm excited to get this to hear what's in this Matt Gates thing. Because it's so weird for you to threaten that kind of thing. They don't care. It's pretty gross. I know what doesn't matter to them, but I just want to know. People threatening to release stuff and not releasing stuff too is like so good.

Shut the fuck up, dude. So you're telling me that you know about some corruption and all this shit. And then you just, I'm not going to release it unless this shit happens. I'm like, how do you have a job? Yeah, thorough pussy energy. How do you have a job? You fucking know, man. Say the Nintendo motherfuckers that, like, they did the fucking leak for Game Freak,

and then they got the game. Oh, yeah. We're not going to reveal you the game, but we're all going to leak information of people that work at Game Freak. Oh, right. You should be shot. You should be, like, shot. What do you think, what do you think is,

what do you think his first move is going to be, RFK Jr.? What do you think is going to do? I don't know. Fix that hole in his neck? He's going to, um, I don't know. I feel like he's going to, he's going to try and do something with the water. I feel like he's going to be like,

I want fluoride out of the water. I love flora. Somebody asked a question, actually. Let me look while you guys don't. Put in first and got a man. Oh, here it is. Everybody have a worm inserted into their brain. Yeah.

A little worm. Why? A little worm. It's like because he's clearly being controlled by the brain. So Majin. So Majin Pitbull flying straight towards a daycare rodent. Oh my God. A Majin Pitbull.

Oh yeah. He's a. Oh. A major, there's not margin pit bull. I thought about it. It's not like coyote. Otra. I thought about the fucking guy.

Oh, you actually thought it was pit bull. Yeah. No, I was thinking of the time. It's because the Majin Pitbull is like proper. It's like capital. Yeah. So fuck me up. A margin pit bull.

Okay. So he writes in. He says, quick inquiry for Kristen Sween. What are you going to do if RFK fucks with New York's water and pizza never tastes the same again? I don't live there anymore, man. Unfortunately. A lot of great. pizza places here get their water imported though.

So like, so here's the thing. I don't actually think the fluoride necessarily affects the water as far as pizza goes as much as the specific amount of chlorine in it. Probably, yeah. I think that's the science. So I don't think it would fuck things up to it. But I will say that was the first thing I thought. Really? It was literally the first thing I thought when RFK was talking about getting the fluoride out of the water, I was like, is that going to fuck with the pizza in New York?

It was the first, and I looked it up, and it turns out it's probably not. It's all about the chlorine content. Yeah. But is the particularly low or particularly high? I don't remember, but like different levels contribute to, like, how water affects dough and stuff and other places. It's why, like, it's why biscuits in the South have a certain type of flakiness that they don't have other places, because their water just has a certain chlorine count that allows the water to do that to the bread or whatever. So it's like kind of, that's where it is.

So the fluoride doesn't seem to affect it. But I will say, um, look, you, fluoride out of the water, you can take fluoride out of the water, but we can't eat the same way we've been eating.

Right. You know, we can't have no fluoride in the water and also as much soda as we consume. Yeah. Like you got, if you're going to ban fluoride in the water, that's fine, but you got to get rid of all sugar.

He's not, he clearly not going to do anything that, uh, Trump is like, yeah, added sugar Added sugar like, don't fuck with my

soda, don't fuck with my McDonald's. Like, McDonald's is probably going to make record profits and it's going to be clear that the whole

Make America healthy again, it has nothing to do. It's just, could I, could I have been wrong? You say like in a mirror like with like this immense

self doubt. Yeah, right. Yeah, it's all gone. That part of his brain got eaten. It's gone. The worm is stressed the fuck out. The worm

absorb his conscience. And it's like, No. What if that's the real RFK? What if the worm is RFK and RFK is now the worm? They did like a consciousness transfer. Oh. That was the least enthusiastic.

Wow. I feel like it's plausible. That's what's happening. I mean. I thought, I honestly thought the parasite was like RFK Jr. started off being normal. And then it started eating parts of his brain and his voice box and stuff.

It started like, So you see, like as time's gone on, he's just getting worse and worse. You know, he's just, yeah. And I think now the worm is like, I am strong enough to assemble the rest. It's like the reapers. You know how like say, I think it was sovereign. It's like the reaper. Yeah, I think sovereign was the first one that came through, right?

And then he wanted to trigger, he wanted to bring the rest of the reapers through the relay. Yes. The Citadel relay. That was the whole plan. And I feel like this worm is like sovereign. That's one, right? So I think this worm is sovereign. He's trying to bring the rest of the worms.

And so what's going to happen is he's going to get rid of the fluoride and replace it with warm eggs. Of course, yeah. So I can put warm eggs in the water. It helps you digest. Yeah, it helps your gut flora. You got to drink bottled water.

And Joe's going to assure everybody. Yeah, this is genius. Like anything that he says is brilliant and you just see like behind Joe's eyes transparent. These fucking worms are wiggling this behind. That shit's scary. It's going to be Joe putting his hand on a fucking hot stove.

I'm like, ow. Ow Oh! Roll the clip. Jamie, you have a lot of worms coming out of your ears. Shut up, Jamie.

You don't know what you're talking about. And these these fuck worms are getting upset that he's like, Jamie's onto him. Yeah, yeah. And then like Joe keeps like coming up to Jamie and trying to put a worm in his ear. Just constantly.

Just the lack of finesse involved in that. It's not even like a sly like, you know what I mean? It's like literally holding up a worm to him. Like he, look. He has his guest on and he just, the entire point of having his guest on is just to infect them with the worm. That'd be fucking crazy.

And like, so, so tell me. Invasion of a body snatcher's type shit. Oh, welcome, welcome back, Kyle Kowinski.

We've, we've had some problems recently. I know you've, you weren't too happy about me trying to, you know, because, yeah, Joe,

I'm, I appreciate you coming back onto the, what the fuck? Program. Not even addressing what's happening. Just like just letting it happen and playing out the entire time. All right. This has been a lot more difficult than I thought.

So well, thank you for this conversation. I'm going to go try somebody else now. They're just transparent about it. I love that. Dang, ding, ding, do. And yeah, eventually the world will be affected and the human race will be over. Not me, bro. You don't think you'll get got?

No, it's not going to work for me. So. I'm sure there's something wrong with me that I can't do it. It's not even like I'm immune. It's just something probably really wrong with me. God, you can't do this. There's already a worm in there, but it's like a, just lazy. It's really benign.

It's like, man, it's like, this is a cool brain. This guy's fine. I don't even, I'm cooling. Like, there's a, yeah, my brain. Get out of here. It was a parasitic brain, but, you have a worm, but it kind of broke from the, like, the hive mind kind of thing. Yeah, he got a change of heart.

No, it started, it started absorbing my mentality. He was like, ah, yeah, I'm fine. Let's go watch some live leak. Where's Live Link? Man, I miss LiveLing. He watches live leak of other worms. His words get chopped up and shit. The idea of being so fucked that you, invasion gets fucked because of you is crazy.

You're just such a fucking retard. Like a mind flirts trying to wipe your brain. It's like, yo, this guy's wild. I don't want to do this. Like, so do you do? I don't understand what I'm looking at right now. So, yeah. So we do have to.

talk about this. What happened? Because this is the timing of this is very funny. What's going on, man? So Jay Leno's come up. Oh, yeah. A couple times on recent episodes. We joke about him exploding a couple times. And so out of nowhere, like, and by the way, this is old, like this happened. Like the Jay Leno in the car exploding in his garage, whatever, like, that happened like... It happened in his garage?

I think so. Yeah, I think actually so, yeah. Because I was watching a video of... They did an interview with him after this recent thing, He was talking like and they brought up that it happened in his garage. I was like, I guess so. I specifically remember he actually gave, he gave an interview. He thought like in retrospect it was really stupid to start the ignition because I forgot

that I replaced the engine with a car bomb. Yeah. Continue? So, so Jay Leno's come up in that context a lot lately. It's an old joke at this point. Like I think I think this happened literally in like 2019. You linger.

You've been like putting so many bombs in your cars and you've been doing it. for such a isn't a quick process and you're like I think this is one the ones that doesn't have a bomb in it so that it's

opening the hood and checking he's like he didn't even he's like I think this is one of them taking it for the bomb

in this one and he turns the car on and it's like oh no taking a risk like that is so great not even bothering

to get up and check to see like is this one of the ones with a bomb in it yeah it's probably fine

not remembering not remembering not remembering what are the odds what are the One of the odds. Not having that constantly on your mind. Not checking and then even doing that.

There's certain things. It's so many layers of like what the fuck is going on. Only half of them. Only half of them at all. It's only half. It can't be this one. Yeah. Look, there are things I don't check before I do, right?

You know? Yeah. I walk out into my living room assuming the floor is going to be there. Yeah. You know? Because why wouldn't the floor be there? You're not doing things that are inherently dangerous. Exactly.

But I love the idea of him being like it's just the same. Yeah. Like it's the idea of him like walking into his bathroom and trusting that there won't be like a leak from the upstairs bathroom. Like it could be, but like it's probably not. I'm probably fine. But he's been putting these car bombs in so many cars. He's the kind of guy that sits straight on the toilet and what the fucking thing is on and shits on top of it. He doesn't expect.

He doesn't check. He doesn't. He sits on the toilet. Cover faceplate down. The cover. And it's right on that. And that shit just. Jets out sideways

He's like Oh man I forgot the hole Oh fuck He can't Here we go again You believe this shit Can he believe this shit? Can he believe it?

He's talking like he's being filmed right now He's looking for the audience to laugh and shit You believe the shit? It happens and immediately He's like have you seen my bathroom? So Jaylon Two joke Yeah

Everything is immediately in the past That's why he's not worried about but anything. Nothing is currently happening to him because every moment has already happened. That's great. Wow. I think we just figured him out. Yeah.

Anyway, so he recently is in the news again because he is yet again incomprehensibly damaged. Yeah. Like he looked like big time. Like he apparently I was listening to the news report and he was staying at a like a Hampton in like outside of Pittsburgh. and he was like he wanted to go somewhere and the road like the sidewalk

to get to where he was to get to where he was going from the Hampton was like it was like a mile or something it was like a mile walk around but you could just take a shortcut and go down a hill and cut the time and half and just get there immediately and so he did that

not realizing that like it was a very fucking steep hill this dude's like what 70? Yeah he's old as fuck he's old as fuck what are you doing? traversing like you're in death stranding like you can't these days are behind

like there are certain hills like even like as I'm 30 where I'm like I'm not going to bother with that one yeah absolutely you know what I mean Joe Jojo fucked her but we went to the dunes by the Air Force base at Vegas so I shot a couple music videos there and she fucked her backup for almost two weeks

going down a steep hill trying to like brace herself she didn't fall she was just trying to brace herself from not fucking sliding down too much because there's a lot of loose rocks and stuff in the dune before you got deep into it and just trying to like really ground herself she like oh you know had one of those moments where her back was fucked too she was fucking 27 or 26 or something you gotta you gotta just just just let it go just you got to slide down like the fucking what you call uh when i was where was

where was that where there was like proper dunes was it was somewhere in london i guess where it was like somewhere it was like actually enough not kind of sand there were dunes and there were dune There were dunes in London? Yeah, it was sand. I don't forget how it was. I might have been like near a desert or something like that. But it was like a proper dune. I just slid down it.

Like it wasn't anything crazy for me to like, fucking like. The famous London desert. It wasn't like Iraq. It wasn't like Iraqis where you could slide down a dune for a week and a half. You won't go fucking off road in the fucking desert. Right? Like what do you?

Right in the heart of London. That sentence has never been said in that way. What scout in the dunes? Yeah. You got in the fucking desert right. Right, mate? Just like, no. Hip-hop and a shit pop and a drop-in-no you lippy shit get out of here

You've not right now, mate not right now are you supposed to goggle the sand now or later I'm really confused I don't really know what should be doing now Is that where Oasis got their name from there's like the you know the famous The desert oasis in London yeah what happens if you come in sand like was it like is it like and clearly a baby doesn't come out right That's but um okay, okay so I know I know that doesn't happen but you've got me thinking I actually don't know how come would react to sand I think it would be very similar to... Are we getting an Amber Alert? All zeros is calling me right now.

What the... Answer that. No, actually don't. Do not answer that. All zeros is calling me right now. That is crazy. What is this? What the hell?

That's got me freaked out. That was literally the president. Hello, Derek. I'm calling to put you in charge of gays. That's too much power, dude. They're whiling out here. That's way too much. I figured I'd put you in charge.

Call me back at 0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0. 0-0-0. Don't forget the zero. Would you take a place in this cabinet? Well, if it was the apartment of a, of gays, I think, dude, yes. I would. No, but if, for real, if he fucking for some reason just tapped like one of us, of course I would do. it. Yeah. Why not? Even in like, even in the, this is what would happen. I would, whatever it was,

I would do whatever I can to punish the people that elected him and to mitigate the damage of anything else, right? Like, that's what realistically I would actually try to do before I probably got fired. You'd die. You'd be like, I don't think I would end up dead. You'd be like, I don't think Derek Blackman has a fucking parabyte of child porn on his phone. It's by itself. I think, I think as long as I keep like just sucking Trump off. he won't care. Yeah. Like,

you know, he won't notice anything that's happening as long as I'm big, I love you so much Trump. You're the fucking greatest. Nice suit. Like,

thank you. That's so good. I know, I know. I spent so much on his suit. His suits worth more than a country. Most of them probably. You can buy it.

You can buy the suit. I only wear one suit once. You've never wear the same suit twice. My body is failing. It's failing fast. I washed my jacket and I forgot that I had gum in the pocket. Can you believe that? Can you believe that?

Can you believe it? Boo! You know, like, ruined the gun. Yeah, that was our favorite suit. Yeah, no, I think I would take it. Yeah, why not? Like, to be a part of the last cabinet? The last cabinet? The last cabinet? I would, I don't know.

I would absolutely be like, oh, yeah, I would take your money and I would just say fuck shit about them. I'd be like, yeah, these guys are fucking idiots. No, I would just, I would take it and I would try to do a good job. No, but you guys are dumb. I'm here. I would still make videos, though, so it would be weird. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, right? I don't think you could.

Why? I don't think you could do. You know how much. much. Legally, what are you talking about? That's true. That's how system is fucking. The idea that laws matter is crazy. Yeah.

You can't legally do that. It's like, okay, nerd. Let's see the... Nerd? I'm trying to think of... I'm trying to think of... I'm trying to do the department that you'd run. Something like the federal assistant

gears generated of overtly transportation. I don't fucking know. They would put me in charge of like they would they would put me in charge of blind people yeah

near sided yeah the near sided alliance let's see I don't know my biggest fear is meeting foreign officials I would be so nervous you can't understand them who cares I just laugh at him I feel you sound funny you sound like you sound like you're fucking weird

I killed someone I saw you in the game I shot him in a face he died I killed him are you from call dude I know Russian Your people are dead I love the idea of like having Like having a meeting with the Russians

And then like just popping in the original Modern Warfare 2 off screen Then Hold on sorry I gotta do this before every meeting Yeah It's just part of my day And they walk in and you're just a lace

And up those people in the mall Yeah I like how they fall Previtt you know Which uh was it was it Call-Duty 5? No not sorry sorry sorry the other one. Who are the other Frees? Was there a 5? No, no, the other

competing game, Battlefield. Yeah, Coltody 5 would have been World at War, I guess. It would have been Yeah, technically, I think so. Wouldn't it in Blackhop? Second ago? No. I think that was the... Go ahead. Well, I could be misremembering because I don't care that much about Cold War II, but I remember

Mono Warfare was 2007. World War was after, and then World War was 2008, and then World War was 2008, and then 2009 was Mono Warfare 2. Yes, yes. And then it was Black Cox. Then it was Black Ops? I'm pretty sure. World at War first.

No, World at War was 2008, man. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, I didn't hear that. My apologies. World War becomes before the Black Ops series. Yes. That's the first one with zombies. Yeah, that was 2010 was Black Cox.

Yeah, that was because he was. Black Ops. I think you're wrong, actually. I think you're gay. I mean, yeah. Call it duty, dark penis. Dark penis. I think.

Shadow Willie's Dark Slong, a chockerbeming. Shadow Willie. Shadow Willie. It was 2010. I remember vividly now because I told this on the podcast a long time ago. My friend let me borrow the game. He never yet, man. No, so what happened was I opened the case and he made out of paper a fake disc. And it said something like nigger ops on her or something. Like it and like just it was a bunch of bullshit. It was. It was so. stupid that like I was like that's good you got me that would bother me the hell that would bother the hell out of me at that age because it's just like there's ever putting it to be a dick ass you know yeah because it's just like I thought I had this game yeah and now like I got to wait to tomorrow to see him to like if it even lends it just like how uh you how often do you open the thing and you like just to check and make sure it's there well yeah you trust it's clearly generally yeah that's pretty good I thought it was um that's why I thought it was um but so I know up until like and then yeah so black eyes I think I know up until like and then yeah so black eyes. and then Modern Warfare 3 was 2011 and 2012 I think Black Ops 2 and then 2013 was ghosts It was I think I'm scared of ghosts

I think I remember that Yeah because that was the new I'm still working at New Egg when that came out 2013 yeah yeah because that's the next generation That was the PS4 one I think Anyway yeah Good luck to Jay Leno Oh do we even say what happened

Oh yeah he tumbled down the down a hill Dude he got all black and blew it up He broke his wrist Dude he's punished Leno right now He's punished Leno he's got an eye patch Yeah He's the end of copto looking over and he said He's sitting down and he's looking the copter just...

Yeah, that's exactly what's happening. You believe those rocks? That aesthetic is fucking fire, man. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Hold on. White hair and an eye patch is dope. I'm just talking about like in helicopter,

about the go to war, just sitting in the helicopter. Like, just thinking about you the after doing it. You're like, I got to go kill niggis. Go and look out the helicopter. I got to go kill niggas. I got to kill a lot of people. He's shaking so fast. Stop shaking.

They mean this moving so fast. Who's the idea? It's like a windstorm round? Who's the idea was it? To put these racks in this house? Who put these rocks? You believe these rocks? So I'm thinking like it's pitch black, right?

Yeah, it's midnight during a power outage. So there's no lamps. There's no street lamps either. Look, the whole thing is insane because he's so rich. He's so, a, he's staying at the Hampton Inn, which is kind of crazy. Yeah, yeah. Like even there probably sweets are like, okay. You know what I mean?

Like, they're just like, okay, like their presidential suites is like, oh, this is kind of cool. Probably it's like his, it's like probably like smaller than his bathroom or something. You know what I mean? And then number two, he just didn't have some fucking slave boy or something to just fetch him stuff. Pick me up and fuck his kids. I can't fall. Like, I'm going to fall on top of you. He didn't have a chauffeur just drive him or it.

There's so many things like weird about that scenario. Yeah, I mean, I think when you're that old though, you might just get so accustomed to that stuff. like money and so you're probably like who cares like it like it probably well I think if there's a certain age where I feel like I feel like how should I put this

I feel like Jay Leno is at that point where he's like he's so rich but I also get the feeling that he's like well I mean I don't know I've done the I've done the sweet like why he's at a point where it's like why spend unnecessary money you know what I mean like how you almost loop back to like

being conservative with how you spend maybe I just think his I mean, clearly, if he's staying at the hampton, you know he doesn't need to stay at the Hampton. He just did it because he wanted to, and it was probably like really close to a place that he wanted to go, probably this place. And then he saw that it was like, oh, it's a mile walk if I take the road,

but it's like immediate if I go down the hill, it's fucking crazy. That's insane, though. He's probably so old that he's like, yeah, let me go for a walk. Is he losing his mind? Is that, to me, that's the only explanation. I mean, maybe, yeah. Because like, there's something that would do that. That shit's crazy because I just kind of mad at it.

Like, there's so much I wouldn't do. Of course I would still exercise, but beside the fetching stuff. Yeah. I'll only go walk for pleasure. Fetching stuff is not pleasurable. Dude, have you seen this video of, like, Dick Van Dyke? Yeah. Yeah, fucking basically cripp walking.

He's fucking sprightly, dude. When I saw that, I was genuinely, like, befuddled. I think that was the last of it. Keep a gangster. I think that was the last thing. You think that was his last. Like, yeah. Dude, that guy's 98.

That was like the... That is crazy that he's... For those of you don't know There's like a video of just like Dick Van Dyke Just basically like dancing And he's like 98 And he's moving like

Better than I can And I just I don't understand Because like there's a lot I don't know a lot of old people Like I've had experiences You know Especially in the Catholic Church But like

And they can't move that well Yeah Sometimes they really can But like Yeah sometimes they You know It depends like In the dark they can move

Really In the Catholic Church You know It depends on how how good those boys are looking. You know, they might get a little, they might get a little pep in the dark. Yeah.

But, and, uh, I mean, dude, so many things, actually I tell, I tell,

I tell Jojo about this a lot. Um, I try to beat it in her head, physically that, uh, you got to stretch every morning, every night. Specifically so we can move like that when we're old.

But I also say this. I was a couple of this. So I'm kind of contradicting, contradicting myself that I'm like, old people like that, I feel, are not going to exist anymore just because of the availability of medicine is going to be, in 50 years, it's going to be fucking incredible. Unless things get sunken with this administration. We'll see.

We'll see. I look at it like this, right? 30-year-olds now with 30 years old, 20 years ago are different creatures. Well, yeah. Like the amount of medicine we have access to, just in general. Look at people now with just TRT that are older. Look at, look at fucking Sylvester Stallone. I'm on TRT.

Dinole. Something. T.R. I don't know. I just look at that. Like, things like that are going to be like. Man, that's old school ACDC, man. Yeah.

I remember that from a underground, Tony Hawk's Underground. That's before the new bird joined, you know. Yeah, yeah. They just beat a parrot in front of a microphone. That's basically what it sounds like to me. Like, to me, I was. Like something's going on where you got like Axel Rose. You got, I don't know the ACDC singer.

Yeah, whatever. I just know the other guy, Anus Young or whatever. Sorry. Yeah, his name's like Arnold. His name's like Arnold Carrington slash Dick Carrington. Dick Carrington, something. I think his name was Kangaroo Jack or something. Yeah, yeah.

Was that the movie? Was that the movie or am I saying that wrong? Kangaroo or Jack? Whoa. He said it. You can say it. It's not quite the word. That's not a word.

That's not quite the word. You can say it. I saw something. Cangar, is that what you said? I saw something yesterday, but this guy's name was like, Nate,

nailiger or something like that. Like, Nick, it was like, you're thinking of Brian Gallagher. Nalliger? It was like, it was like,

is his black cousin? Gallagher is black cousin? Negiwick or something like that. Or negaywick or something like that. But he has a sheet. This guy that had a fucking really weird last name. where it was N-I-G-E and in like some sort of like

weird name fucking suffix. Yeah. And like seeing him pronounce his name with no fear or hindrance was bananas. Like your name is the N-word. Okay.

All right. Yeah. I don't know if it's a real name, say it. I just don't remember what the full name is. I look it up. I can find it. Yeah. I definitely say it on my phone.

Really great. So he, twat. So what that fuck? Say it right, nigg. What were we talking about? I don't even remember. That really, like, that really erased everything that was done.

I really don't know. Whatever. Joe, no, Jay Leno. Jay Leno's fucking is an old crazy man for, for just taking his life in his old hand, in his own hands in a way that he should not do. Yeah. In a way that, like, it makes me mad sometimes. I'm like, you rich piece of shit.

Did you see the hill that, like, he, no, showed it? Well, yeah. I didn't see it. I didn't, I didn't watch the whole thing. It is a wall. of grass. It is vertical. I'm gonna see.

I didn't see it. It's like a vertical fucking guy. He's like, yeah, I guess. I guess I guess it's just there. I fucking hate this. Earth is flat.

This wall's flat. It's funny you said Earth. I literally just landed on a flat earth video or some guy. Some guy that's a flat earther, but he was also, he says celebrities are still alive that died. Oh yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So there's some, there's some guy. And the funny thing on TikTok, he says he's doing satire, but he's not. I think it's like one of those ways. Oh, yeah, yeah.

It's hard to tell now. Yeah, I was like, oh, he says satire, but then he winks when he's, he's doing a winking in a way that, like, he's trying to signal dog whistle to actual crazy people that this is how we have to operate. Oh, I see. It's like the racist that should be, I'm not racist, you know. Yeah, and they wink. Yeah, like kind of shit. I think, yeah, I don't know, man. I'm, that, that Dig Van Dyke video, like, actually shifted my entire perspective.

on a lot of things because I'm like, damn, he's a dancer. I got to look into like what dancers do. Dancers stretch only, pretty much. Dude, the stretching is. I'm so, I'm so inflexible though. Like, I feel like I can't stretch. Well, you have to like, you have to punish yourself essentially to, to, yeah. It's not hurt, but he'll get over it.

Dude, I saw Jake the Snake Roberts essentially be brought back to life just by doing fucking yoga and stretching. Like he did a, this guy, DDP, Diamond Dallas, page. He has a yoga program now. He was a, he was an old-ass wrestling. When he started doing pro wrestling, he was 35, which is like ancient. You said DDP and I thought Darkside Phil for some reason. Not DSP. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, DSP is a, well, funny thing, that guy's addicted to like one of those gotcha wrestling games. Are you serious? Yeah, he, uh, I learned to end one of those documentary things that people made about them. And, uh, he spent,

people just, there are just people out here with documentaries about them. Yeah. That are not like important at all DSP has a large like in a way They're not important in the way you think like the way people used to be important But they're important based on the internet I didn't realize how much of a locale DSP was Because I remember the whole thing Oh he got caught jacking off I was like oh it's funny

And that kind of he kind of faded out of my memory But there's people who Hate watch him so much That um There was that guy uh rich I I mentioned him on the one episode review tech USA Who when he started streaming i guess that was his main go-to was people giving him superchats to hate watch DSP.

Yeah. And I'm like, who fucking cares? But apparently there's a subsect of freaks that do. Dude, I, unironically, I love DSP. DSP is so fucking funny to me. Not because he's entertaining on purpose, but because it's like, there are these videos. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

There are specifically videos called, This is How You Don't Play. Yeah. Yeah. And I love, love those videos. bad. He's so bad at so many video games in a way that is like arrogant and like presumes that he's not to blame at all. Yes. And so he played Balders Gate 3 was crying. I didn't see it. Dude, my favorite, my favorite thing about those videos and I actually stole that, like when I was doing gameplay videos for a while, I actually stole this this type of like format because I think,

I think it is a brilliant format of, you know, he, he just does the let's play and then his stream says stuff or whatever, right? And then those streams get posted to YouTube. And what these videos are, it's like videos or highlight reels of him, like, doing things really poorly in the game, and then comments from people, from people watching the, watching the stream, and the comments show up on screen at the time that's, like, relevant to, like, the comment in the video. Yeah. I think it's so, so good. Yeah, that's very good. It's like, his Metal Gear Solid ones are brilliant. Like, they're classic. That's, yeah, it's probably one of the most popular. It's my absolute favorite one. I'm sure there are other ones that, like, might be better, maybe worse. He's so bad. He doesn't understand.

understand the concept of stealth. Like he just doesn't, like it just doesn't like. How do you say bad at games that long? Just not caring. Yeah. Or just not understanding that it's you. I feel like he spent like his brain capacity

was only in Street Fighter 2. And I think like that was it. Like he got decent to work back in the day, like way back in the day like Evo he was like competing. But only one specific version. Especially when they moved to

when they got like a SNess. I think there was like a SNess version. and DSP did relatively well But everyone was like Yeah, who gives the fuck? You're using the one that everybody hates And then of course So a little bit of relevancy Notorious for being an asshole

Like I watched a long ass documentary on him Some guy named like June the King He made a I thought June the King Was AI at first But he's a real person Because his voice is so mundane He's like this Like Ben Stein kind of

He talks like this Not as bad Not that bad. But it's more mono in the middle of like, oh, this is like an AI voice. Oh, right, right. He didn't add for something. And then it showed his, uh, himself. Like, and I was like, oh, my God, he's a real person.

I swear to God, I thought he was type. I thought he was typing on a script. And because he has a voice like this and he talks like this. Darkside Phil. And I was like, oh, this is a pretty decent AI. It was a tune. But it was too. I couldn't believe it.

I like that even in that version, it's like it's a pretty decent AI. It's not even a good AI He sounds so unlike a real person He's very matter of fact And he's real and he's made I've watched a couple of his documenters I know he had one on a review tech USA Darkside Phil

Somebody else Darkside Phil is he is a He is a Oh I remember watching it while I was playing the first space marine I was going through the first space marine And watching the Phil thing I remember that.

It's like embedded in my brain. It was like perfect content for some reason. I don't know much about them really. I just know that those videos are like some of my favorite like old school. Like just like old coded videos. Like I don't know. Like there's like a 2009 kind of quality to them in like the way that they exist and like the style and the format. Like you don't really see that kind of stuff anymore.

That's true. It's like ABGN. Like I was thinking about AVGN recently and how he the way he says ass is just. ingrained into my brain like I'll never forget ass there's a clip that was like one of my favorite well I wait I think I recorded it last night because I thought it was I was looking up I had it like there was an ass compilation basically

which is not what it sounds like but like should be this sentence is such a profoundly useless sentence this is that all about to describe this game's assness all I can say is it's very ass To describe this game's assness All I can say is it's very ass

It's very central cat Where's he from? You know where he's from? I don't know actually I think I would say he's Philly You're gonna say Philly? Well yeah I was gonna say somewhere in Massachusetts Yeah he's East Coast I think for sure

Like somewhere You look to be like you disagreed I just don't know I mean I don't know You look like when you do that face You look at the uh spider from um uh monsters ink let me see yeah oh oh um the question on the last uh podcast i think i was trying to remember what that machinima uh channel was or that that that creator where i was

talking about uh the the the gay joke thing like i was like very like saying the that guy was gay just for saying he lost his husband or whatever oh yeah and i found it bro brook Yeah, bro team. Bro team. Pro team pills specifically. It was one of those things where it was so hard to find. I couldn't find it until there was a... No fucking way.

What happened? Oh, he's from Philly. Well, there you go. You fucking guessed it perfect. That was a shot in the dark. Oh, well, there you go. But that's a, yeah, because there was a cadence where I'm like, it reminds me of, it reminded me of my teacher that was from Boston.

Right. No, not Boston. He wasn't from Boston, but she was in Massachusetts. And so I was like, maybe that. But yeah, Philly. Philly works. That was a complete guess. I didn't know.

Oh, you, it was a complete guess? Yeah, I have no idea. He just strikes me as like Pennsylvania at the very least. But there's just a weird the way that it kind of carries over like,

eh yes. You know, like that was like, okay, that's somewhere over there. It's definitely, yeah, like it kind of gives it away.

Like, it's like that weird E with the A fuse to it. Yeah, yeah. But, what the fuck? I was going to say something.

Eh, whatever. It doesn't matter. Yeah, whatever. Next question? Yeah, let's get to the questions.

Uh, Patreon.com slash StarTang. Give us your questions. Get added to the show. Get recognized. Get rewarded. Get booked. What are you doing with your hands there, bud?

I think it's stimming. Oh yeah. You definitely say, like, there's like, people were commenting on the last episode, it's like silent stimming swine is menacing. Like when you're just that piece, you're menacing to people. Yeah, I'm not like, I don't know.

I mean, according to strangers. It looks like you just killed several people and you're just like really basking. in it. Because you do this thing with your hands or are you like, yeah, I'm doing that. Why, what is that?

Describe this. That's not tranquilly. It looks like you're, it's like me like wanting to play piano, but I'm terrible because I haven't done it in fucking like over a decade. So you're just in VR in your own head playing piano? That's imagining.

That's imagining. Exactly what's happening. Yeah, it is just what imagination is. Yeah. All right. Let's move on to questions. Beaten my meat since,

beaten my meat since 99. I know it rode in. Jackpot. Facts. It's weird that you remember exactly like the year you started. I don't know. I remember you I started.

No, you don't. Yeah, I do. Do you really? Yeah, I do. I was 15, so... 15 years ago? You're a late bloomer. Very late to the game.

So I became a porn addict for a while. Damn, a late bloomer. Actually, I have my homies literally the same age. And I was always like, damn, that's crazy. Like, how do you... How do you not, as soon as, like,

the hair hit your balls, you're not, like, immediately like, oh, I got to figure I was going to figure out. I was like, I was like, oh, I don't know. I didn't have the urge. I was scared. I didn't have the urge. What happened was I didn't understand that.

I was like, oh, I just, my, my penis feels weird sometimes. That's just, that's it. I know exactly what you're saying. That's fucking fantastic. And then I found out about, like, literally, I, like, I, I, I, I think I masturbated maybe like four or five months before I had sex the first time. That's actually insane. Wow. Yeah.

That is. That's how much it changed you. You were like, I have to figure this out. Yeah. Because I was everybody saying they were doing that And I was like yeah me too That's crazy That's crazy

You wonder why you had like Trauma and stuff surrounded it It was also I was just fucking I was just lying I was just lying to a girl's face about sex That's crazy that you It's crazy how like the things that you do in your kid The peer pressure you have to do

Oh dude That's crazy man I've talked to other young men about that stuff And they're all like yeah I was just lying about it And then like I did it and I just felt empty. And I'm like, I wish if I could, if I could, if I mean this for a lot of people don't

agree with me, people disagree. If I could take back sex with every girl I've had except for Lillian, I would. I would take it all back. It means it, it generally meant nothing. It was experiences. It felt good at the time. I think you have an absolutely terrible relationship with sex. I don't think you need to work that shit out.

I don't think it's terrible. I think it's the idea is that like, it's just like. If you think that you need to take that shit back. Well, no, you have a bad relationship with sex. This is my idea of it. You can go talk to somebody. Is this like... Not me.

Not us. You're not just like to a real person. Definitely not us. Not this guy. All I'm going to do is make fun of you. You need to talk to a person that's going to... It genuinely meant nothing. Like I look back at it now and I'm like, oh, I did that.

Not that it was like... Not that I was like... No, see, the problem is the fact that you're even saying if I could take it back. Because to me, the only regrets I had was if like, say, maybe a situation where... Like, oh, this girl, like, I didn't particularly... I didn't like how it happened. Like I could have been doing something else. Instead of like fucking Feeney for that one,

I could have been doing something else. Yeah, I just feel like I think you just have a horrible relationship sex as all. Yeah. Yeah. It happens, man. None of to be ashamed of it was just a matter of fact. The thing to me is, like, to take those experiences away.

I wouldn't get to where I am right now. Yeah, you wouldn't be. Which is also true. That's kind of the, that's... If I had the forethought of my mind now, but that's still the mind that did that. But also, like, I wouldn't want to... see moron. I wouldn't want to take anything away

unless I thought it was negative. Right, exactly. So that's why I would have a bad relationship. I guess I guess it's I don't particular thing is negative. I think it's kind of as like aimless like whatever. Well then why would you even have the feeling of wanting to take it away or even thought? Because it just feels it. I guess it's the idea of the aimless of it is more just like

the idea of it like it's negative. Do you think it wasted your time? I don't fucking seeking it the way I was absolutely. Do you think that you gained nothing out of those experiences? That is objectively not true. Well then Yeah, but it's pointless. So that's why I said, like, oh, yeah, I guess, like, yeah, obviously.

Because I wouldn't be the me I am without those moments. Yeah, I feel like there are, like, instances that I would take back for sure. Yeah, exactly. But, like, they were explicitly negative instances. There are some encounters where I'm like, that sucked. You know, like, I'm rather that didn't happen. It's definitely a hyper, um, hyper ball. Like, when I look about it more than that, I'm like, oh, yeah.

Yeah, now you're like, yeah, why would I think that? You didn't talk to somebody. Yeah, why would I think that? It's like, yeah, what, look, I'm, have a therapist take all your money and then tell you the same shit, though. Say his favorite is like, yeah, you're gay. You're gay, you're gay. You're just gay. You're gay. We need to work this out. You need to come back three times a week. Anyway, before we already derailed by this guy's name.

Two times how are you got to come back? So he wrote in, he says, hey, chocolate bear, vanilla bear and grizzly bear. Hot. He says with the onion buying info wars to turn it into a parody of itself. Right. If you guys could buy any media company, YouTube channel or record label, what would you do with it? Outside of making gay covers of existing IP, that that's the dream. Daily wire.

I'm buying the daily wire. Like instantly. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm buying the daily wire and I'm not going to make gay covers, but I'm going to turn it into gay porn. I'm turning the daily water is gay porn now. I would buy Joe Rogan's podcast. Oh, that's a good answer.

I buy his podcast and I would put fucking. And you can recast Joe Rogan? No, I'd keep Joe there. Those people wouldn't even notice. I'd keep Joe there and I'd be, I'd be there with him. I'd be the guest every day. You just run out of things You just run out of things to talk about so immediately

I'm like Joe I'm like what's going on Joe He's like yeah it's going on He says that's not true Joe Jay you pull up the cup of Joe being dumb This is barrier He's putting the worm up to you What are you gonna do

Oh this thing is No you're not You're not supposed to You eat that is the craziest Like you eat a worm like corn Hey man that's not cool You're not supposed to eat it man Hold on I got another one for you

Do me a favor. Just put it in your nose. Put it, put it in your nose. No, no, no. That's the podcast. It's just Joe Rogan feeding case and worms. Just me eating worms to the point they're like, hey, we got to do something about this guy.

He's killed a trillion. So you're, you're really liking those worms, huh? Joe, this is really boring. What I would do, what I would do is I would, I would, I would, Jamie, eat your bowl of worms. I would, I would, I would, I would, I would have Joe Rogan

I would have Joe Rogan somehow convince UFC fighters to inject themselves at rabies and then fight all the podcast You'd be like Howard Stern That's like old That's like old Howard Stern

Yeah that's least Exclusively used to inject rabies And I'm just watching I'm just behind I'm just behind the fucking glass door Watching them fight till they're like Ah it's quality Jamie roll the clip of the guy

Just getting his head knocked off Two seconds ago Jamie roll The entirety of Terms of Endearment Jamie, pull up the laws we're talking about so we can define them correctly. Man, this podcast has gotten much better since Kingston took it over. Pull up, pull up, pull up this thing you're talking about right now

and having information about it. I really like this podcast. Hit the worms doing tricks outside of it like it's fucking Tony Hawk or SSX. They're like in his nose, out his eye through his other knotting. Yeah, it's exactly what it is. It's like it's like I said last time with fucking Oogie Buggy's Dye. with a snake in it. Yeah.

It's like going up and up and around. They're treating your face like it's a fucking skate park. There's only two things that I like and I know in this world. My independent thoughts and a Joe Rogan podcast. Since Kingston joined a Joe Rogan podcast. What a compromise man. Those are the only things that I hold dear is like my ability to be independent and the Joe Rogan experience.

The Joe Rogan podcast. And the worms are just spitting while he's talking. That's it. This is good stuff, man. And I know what's good. And third on the list is my family who I remember. Oh, yeah, my family or something. My family that.

My wife and husband. My husband. He just forgets what a family is. And my gay lover. My wife or my husband, whichever the one I'm supposed to have. What am. What I am He's got worms

Digging in it out of his head He can't remember And people have to pretend Like they don't notice They don't You gotta just It's okay You gotta imagine like the guy sitting next to him

Like it's like he's just Like he's like the horse He's just always looking like Joe's sitting there And he's talking to Joe he's like yeah Joe Yeah Yeah very very He's keeping an eye. Very cool.

And then just like a cartoon character pulls out a bowl of worms. Just like, oh, man. I hurt my eye. Blunderbust. It's what's a blunderbust stuck to him. I wish I had a blunderbuss, man. I do too. I really want one, yeah.

I think they're the most primitive version of like technology. I think you've ever seen it my life. It's literally a hand cannon. It's primitive. It's so like, it's like I feel like an ape built that. Like a real like a bashing coconuts with. rock go fill blunderbuss with straddle from coconut i want a crowd control i need some cc damage you know you're not you're not trying to like you're really just you're just putting everything

and just letting it go ham that's pretty awesome rocks that's a bunch of fucking stradnal this fucking stuff in it in there you think anyone like just spit like a month like coming in a bunder bust and then just like i only got one shot a blunder bus it's blunder than it's high feet bust. And you only got one shot in it though, you know, because you,

you were spending all this time collecting all that bust. I imagine getting, I imagine getting a pot glab of cum piercing your body. And you're dying

knowing that a lava cum calcified cum just broke your sturtum. You're just like, I'm a fucking failure. That's the way, oh, I'm gay. Then he died.

I'm a fucking failure. I'm a fucking failure. I'm a I didn't hear that. I'm a shot full of cubs. I mean, it is a pretty horrible.

That's pretty bad. That is, whatever did that is, it needs to be sealed away. Like if some dude, like, you need to do a ritual to put that thing away. That's like a vampire type threat.

Like the type of person. By the way. Can I say this? You guys remember I am legend, right? Yeah. Do you know that movie? Yeah, of course.

What's that movie? about. It's about like vampire-like mutant zombies. Surviving the apocalypse Black? And having a really cool German Shepherd. Having a dog, yeah. Yeah. And black? Yeah, was there something that I, is there something deeper about that? It's based off another movie.

It's based off another movie which is based off a book. No, no, it's based on a, the movie's based on a book. But the book is like completely different. Well, it's based off another movie though. There's another movie that happened before. That was the same. No, you're thinking of legend. No. It's not called I Am Legend But it's about the same characters There's another movie that was made old time What's that movie called?

I don't remember what it's called But I'm ever watching it I'm asking it like I'm trying to trap him But I'm actually curious I'm not sure I believe him No I swear it's another movie that's the same premise I know you swear but like also You know like you make sure

But you're dumb The premise The premise The premise The premise The premise of the book Apparently is that like There's a society of vampires

And that they're so human like And like this dude's dudes like out there killing him. With like garlic and crucifixes and shit to the point where it's like and he realized that like oh, this is a society of vampires with their own structure and their own rules. And to the point where like he's become the like the legendary figure. Like he's become like what we assume vampires are. Yeah.

Well the thing is. And the movie is not about that. The movie is about a guy fighting zombies. If I'm not mistaken, the book is from his perspective though. Yeah. But the thing is that like it's it's you don't realize there are society. to the very end. Right, but there is no society,

but that never happens in the movie. The movie has not, like the movie's title doesn't make any sense. I don't think the book is called I Am Legend. The book is called I Am Legend. Okay, then there's, and the book is, and the movie's called I Am Legend,

even though he's not, he's not, there's nothing legendary about it. I swear, I swear the old movie is like that. The old movie is. I don't know what movie you're talking about. What is it? Look it up. Oh my God.

He has all of human intelligence. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just sway, I swear. Trust me, bro. Don't trust your doctor, trust I Am Legend So it's called Last Man on Earth the old one Oh, it's called, really? The Last Man Earth

And I think the book is also called Last Man of the other thing as well too But I Am Legend is a loosely based off of that as well Wait, wait, wait, hold on a second Are you saying those are two different like entities altogether So Last Man on Earth is the original I Am Legend movie The Island movie came out and wait a minute, hold on So there isn't a book called I Am Legend? Listen, let me get there, let me get there, okay?

These are two different things. I'm reading it out. Yeah, go ahead. I'm getting livid. So I imagine movies, 2007 movie film. They're originally based off the novel by Richmond, the same name. Yes, sorry. Last Month on Earth is a movie that came out in the 1950s that is based off of the original I Am legend book.

Okay. So it's based off it, but it's not like an actually a film. It's not an adaptation. It is a film adaptation of it, but it's just given a different name. So it's what you said based on it. Base doesn't mean that it's a. is given a different name. It is still the same story. So they changed the name

of the movie. They changed the name of it for a movie. Yes. Okay. The same doctor or the same character. But so listen, so if that's true, then that version is a more accurate adaptation of the book. To a movie with the same name as a movie, yeah. Because I had no idea that that's what that story was about and I

saw the movie. I remember just being like, okay. So that's probably, it would have been a much better movie and it would have been very thought-provoking if it was like how it was supposed to be in the end of the end- It would have at the very least been a lot more interesting than fucking Will Smith goes around and his dog dies. Well, that's good. There's kind of nuance to it.

I guess this is reach. I'm reaching. Yeah. Right now. I'm going to say I'm reaching right now. But it's like the idea that they're only attacking him so much because he's been killing them, you know? Even in the same thing.

They're still not intelligible, but they have some societal structure, I guess. Would you kind of see in a movie? It's implied in the movie. It's implied. But like. But like at the same time, they run. Like, that's you. It's not the same.

But yeah. The monsters in I am legend cannot be. staking for a society. I guess now I have to... There's some societal features. I have to watch a video so I'm breaking down the book and then compare it to the movie itself just so I can have a clear understanding of how different it is. Because I remember seeing the old movie a long time ago for some reason because my grandma's a relative. He's like, oh, this is a great film. Kek's the do and see the CG and I'm like, what, grandma? See this what? But it's the idea. I remember him like running around at the end of the movie. He's like near the CFung. At that time, what was that the

sent the coastal Germans? Like what does that what does that mean? Yeah, I guess so. It's like, he's running back and he's like kissed around by them. And he's like holding like a cross-up to them. And then they're kind of like all like creeping in on him. And I remember that scene particular in black and white, seeing it a long time ago. And I was like, oh. And they were actually vampires.

It's good C-G men. I think so. They were actually vampires. Yeah. They casted real vampires for that movie. They got real vampires. And they blow their heads up at the end. They're like, thank you for giving me this opportunity.

We've been trying to enter the site. And one guy goes up behind him with a shotgun and blows it all. That's a vampire. The C-G. and Last Man on Earth is breath dick. Yeah. It's like when they CG that guy's legs off

in Forrest Gump. Oh, yeah. Oh, you said Dan? Yeah, yeah. Because that actor's got legs I'm pretty sure. Pretty sure. I think they see legs on him.

And then they blew them off at the beginning of the movie. Yeah. He's a really dedicated actor. He took the legs being blown up. He was like, go I do it. They couldn't see a real person's legs away. So what they did was they found a cripple

gave him fake legs in the beginning because they could afford to like hoist him up a little bit. Yeah. And then just CG the legs off. There's another Italian version called the Omega Man. And there's also an Italian version of that, I Am Legend, called Omega Man? The Omega Man, 1974 version of it. I guess that's a very popular

book I didn't know. Yeah, I didn't realize it. It's a very, I mean, I assume the concept is very... That sucks because like the legacy of that story is Will Smith's shitty movie. It is because literally nobody who reads a lot of books has said I should read that book. Yeah.

Yeah, no one's ever told that to me. It's also an old, old book, too. It's a 50s book. I don't know people that are reading. It was Dr. Seuss's early work. I read Dune and reading Dune is not, like, if you're not a science fiction person, I don't think anyone's read that. And like, people don't read books also.

It's another thing because they can't read. They don't know what the fuck they're reading. They'll read it. They'll see the words and they'll be like, I don't get it. He didn't TikTok dance. Don't pretend. I mean, the country's fucking. The country is like

I talked about It's illiteracy Incarinate Yeah Yeah Yeah He was that fucking misspelled it And they fucking split

In the two words And I was like well Yeah Yeah yeah This Lexa guy's awesome All right let's go Let's like a decipher What I'm reading

I just can't You know Get back Get back Get back here Cocker Whoa Rode in

He says All this young Sheldon talk Got me interested Oh nice I wanted to see Why this is such A widely enjoyed show so I started watching the show,

and it's actually really good. At least the first few episodes are enjoyable. Not saying you should watch it, but much like penis, don't knock it until you try it. See, that makes me, I'm not sure if this person's genuine. I'm a little, I'm sure it's fine.

I'm sure at worst it's fine. The thing that bothers me about this is that we've, by talking about it. We're infecting people? We basically invented a young Sheldon fan. We're giving people worms. Oh, no, this is exactly what we've been warned about. The thing is, look, man, I feel like the show, it's clearly not the worst fucking thing ever.

But to me, it's just whenever I've seen it, I would just be confused on why the audiences, why the laugh track's going off because nothing funny was said. I don't think your show does a laugh track. Yeah, that show doesn't have a laugh track. Huh? Young Sheldon. Oh, young Sheldon. Yeah, now I miss. I miss, okay.

He thought the show was named Sheldon. I just assumed They were talking about the big thing theory I saw a scene from young Sheldon I had no idea that it was that That was the show It was like some redneck I can't even remember

I think you might have seen this There was like some redneck doing something about fighting A damn I can't remember It was wild It was like this is the same fucking show What was he fighting? I don't understand I don't remember enough of the context

Like a Veloceraptor? I'm hoping that I liked it on TikTok So I was like it on TikTok I can go through my, I'm hoping I can go through my likes on TikTok real fast and see it. Dude, I do that all the time. I think about like,

oh, I'm going to save this on TikTok because if I like it, it'll be easier to find. And then I go to my likes and then I can't find anything. He didn't do it. I have saved so many videos on my phone because I think I was going to be funny

later and I just don't look through them. So there's no point to save me on. Yeah, it's like motherfuckers that like Well, you have the entirety of fucking Spiderverse on your phone for some reason. Yeah,

I'll have all of the Dragon Ball. There's one I like recently. That's a great impression. It's really good. I was like, there's actually like a chain of people Did you see fucking

Alec Baldwin's impression of him on Saturday Night Live? No. It sucked. What did you sound like? It just, I don't even know. I'm R.

F.K. Jr. After everything, he's on. I am cyborg. He's clearly, I don't know. I don't know how controversial

that take is. Like, he clearly didn't mean to shoot somebody. It's clearly not his responsibility. I'm not really that. I am funny. Yeah.

Anyway. So, yeah, his impression sucks. He's bad at impressions. I don't know why they keep letting him on to do impressions. Like, he's funny on, like, written material, like, when he plays, like, a character. You let me do this. How good are you with guns? That must be, like, that must be something on stage.

It's like, we can't have him around the guns. Of course. If we have a gun sketch, we cannot have Alec Baldwin here. No, I wouldn't trust him. Just for the juju. Even if you check the prop gun. it's a prop gun

don't let him do finger guns you never know what could happen even that I have a video I can't believe that word you know the guy

you know the piss guy the guy is like the piss air yes yes the guy who makes piss air by pissing in jugs and like putting a fan over it he made a piss cannon too

a piss cannon I don't want to see that you sure yeah I'll show you though I know I'll show you I'll show you though

It leaves me spending a well, you know. Oh, man, it's, I guess I don't, I guess I didn't like it either. It's okay. But yeah, his impression is pretty bad. Put it up to the fucking mic. Oh my God. He just filled a bottle full of piss and jumped on the bottle. That's a piss cannon.

The fact that there's people like this that exist. This motherfucker made piss cake. Like, he made piss. That's not real. He's not doing it. That's apple juice or something. He's not actually doing that. Do you really think people like that should be allowed to vote?

No. Yeah. I think specifically only them actually. Yeah, to see what version of the world we get, you know? I guess. We leave and we spectate. We like, we get in the, we're like the gods among earth. Just Alicia.

Just look over. But the gods don't even have much. But they're just us really fucking kind of dumb humans also. They're also impoverished, but like they're just not stupid. That'd be amazing. As you go all the way to Mountain Olympus and you just find out that Zeus is like out door dashing. Zeus is stomping on piss. Sorry, I just, I had to make my piss cannon for my YouTube video.

Sorry, my apologies. If I don't hit my upload quota, the algorithm is going to flip. So fucking upset. You just spit days climbing up that fucking mountain. Days. That's like you died so long ago. You peek over and then just piss cannon shot in your face. Okay,

K. Simmons as gay gonad Gap, my son. What? What is that name? Like, Gabe, like Jay Jonah Jameson? Yeah, fella. What do you say it again? Jay Kimmins has gay gonad gait my son.

Gay Gondaget, Gap, my son. Dumb. That is so stupid. Hi, Mom, Dad, and the brother we keep locked in the attic. What's your favorite song on each album by your favorite bands? That's a big question. Wait, I don't even, I didn't even, your favorite song on every album by her favorite band? Yeah, so your favorite, like, every, like, your favorite, every album?

That's a bit of a big question. Like, we won't go through every single, like, because that's kind of, that's a lot. I can do artists. I can't do bands. I can do an artist, though, easily. I mean, that's the same question, basically. Yeah. Artist band, whatever.

Favorite song on an album? So, that's kind of. Can you do three? I can do three, I think. I think maybe. I know for Rise Against, it's easy because it's suffering the witness. Come guzzler.

I like survive a lot on suffering the witness. I think that's great. Piss canon. Of course. By Rise Against. I kind of wish they would do shit like that. That would be sick. They're very self-serious.

In a way that I... They're supposed to be. Yeah, I appreciate that. I appreciate that more now, actually, as like the world has gotten significantly more of more absurd yeah but like there was a time where I would be like I kind of wish they would because they're punk bands that do just like fuck dumb songs you know what I mean like like like um system of a down will do like that fucking what's that pizza song you know what I mean I don't remember if it's even a pizza

dog in the ass all of chives yeah yeah they make I want to fuck a girl in the dog in the ass wasn't that one of them as well no I don't know what the fuck you're talking about that's just your thoughts yeah yeah yeah that's not system of a down I remember that's your conscience this I I'll tell you what's on crazy after you know. I mean, I think so. Because I remember seeing a fucking, remember the picture of the scroll with the two condoms in it? Oh, yeah, yeah.

You always call back to that just because. It's a weird thing to remember. Because it is the most insane image ever seen in my life. No, it isn't. Yes, it is. I stand on that. That is the most like, what the fuck. Because it means they try to be safe.

Like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, what? You don't want to get rabies, man. Like, what type of? bastard. That is an interesting. That's why I remember. It's like, what the fuck? You know what a day? Rabies? Yeah. It is interesting that somebody

has the mental faculties to consider safety while also molesting a squirrel to death. It's I laugh, but I'm really sad. Did you see the guy in England who, uh, they see the guy in England who, uh,

he fucking, uh, jerks off on like a seagull. He's like drunk apparently. and then he fucking like looking around pulls his pencil starts jacking off and he nuts on a bird and then kicks it Now here's the question I have about that right So he's drunk as fuck he's doing this

Yeah yeah Is this do you think Like a deliberate Like something that he thinks about all the time And just finally has the ability to do Or is it like he's so drunk that it's like No one's gonna believe I did this I think there has a

Because I do think people do things because they wouldn't do them. There's something evil about them. Can't be alcohol, though. There has to something evil about them. Because, like, that is a crazy thing to do. It's just evil. It's super evil. That's like, I don't even think it was sexual.

I think it was just to be evil. But that's what I mean. Especially after he kicks it. It kicks it afterwards too. So, like soccer ball kick or like. Yeah. But it might have been one of those things like how like some dudes are like so misogynistic.

they'll like fuck a chick and like spit on her and like fuck out of your horse like kind of like one of those it might have been one of those things too so it might be sexual but also like yeah you're you're lower than me bird you're fucking you're nothing all right my favorite my favorite songs on each album of my artist I can't this is going to break me and I'm going to start laughing like a cyclop you did two songs well yeah let's let's let's let's take turns because I have to think too I think for the last one I think so because I did one rise again. So, um,

well, does it, well, I thought we're, I thought we're going to do like one artist, three albums. Oh yeah, that's fair.

Uh, okay, so I think on, on sufferer, I would say, suck a tax. Suffer, I would say injection,

actually. Um, I like injection a lot. And then on, on, injecting your penis. Is that what that song's about? Yeah,

it's exactly what it's about. Yeah, I like that. Um, was that, was that, was that, uh,

are you re capping or are you, Or was that the last one? I'm amending. Okay, okay. So I think, yeah, injection on suffer. Injection of suffer. And I think appeal to reason. We need some of that.

Sheet. We need some of that. Yeah. We got to revamp. I don't remember the album name. I'm trying to remember the name of the song. You guys go. Okay.

All right what do you got? Okay. So for me, my favorite rapper is Joy, badass. Okay. Uh, easily. So for him, so niggas at play. you remember that touched my heart

that touched my heart I mean you actually care a little bit but for me it's survival tactic similar capital of steeds great song uh... Reci peace capital stees of course

okay we got for summer nights uh for me it's probably going to be 9 5 to infinity I think that song is fucking insane uh very well done uh when it goes to before the dollars it's probably obviously going to be

Christ conscious I think that song is insane or it's um What's the one where he's Is it Big Dusty? No, it's the one where he's Um Um

Oh no no No No Um A player like me I think it's what it is When he wraps up Uh

It works It's killed My lips of hair Spill like a deadly weapon Attack an enemy See in my section Uh Fucking with tombstones

You'll get Don't I think that's I forgot what it is Gap like me Is that what you said I think it's Gangsta like me

Yeah Gap like me too My ass a jar All-American All-American badass Obviously it's fucking what's called legendary Him and J. Cole I think him and J. Cole

That's one of the best songs ever. All right, you can stop there. That's it. You did four. There's more. There's more. Yeah, like we're just trying to do like three. Yeah, so it was injection on suffer

and then I think from the unraveling, I would put Ever-changing and then I think on appeal to reason I'd probably put elective amnesia Which is like an iTunes single, so it wasn't actually on like the, the core album, but it's so good.

And I was just like, it's always so weird. Like, that used to be a thing, by the way. Like, where, like, the best song on the album would be like an, like an exclusive. I don't know if that happens anymore, really. But, like, that was happening for a while. And I remember being, like, really annoyed by it because it was like always the hardest songs to find. Yeah. But those would be the ones.

And by the way, that answer probably changes because, like, the way that I feel about music shifts day to day. But, like, today, I think that's kind of how I'm feeling. All right. that this the hardest thing for me the hardest thing for me is like oh what was my favorite artist because I don't really have one yeah I mean I have several like I kind of have to just like juggle like oh just pick one and

I was thinking of a band that impacted me a lot it was bleeding through when I was growing up because of like they also had like these black metal influence in the metalcore scene which was kind of unheard of at that time no one was really blending those two genres and so that shit was like oh I love black metal because it just sounds so cool even though it was like goofy as shit

people wearing corpse pain and being all ah and I'm like this is so gay but the music sounds so cool yeah but anyway their first albums they have a song called Savior Saint Salvation on this album Portrait of a Goddess

that features M Shadows from Vince Seventhfold you know they all grew up in the same area they always to fuck each other and stuff in Orange County so yeah it's true Yeah, they're all just having sex with each other's studio. Yeah, on CCTV. Yeah, on CCTV.

I have it. I have it on my hard drive. My 40 gig hard drive that I got in 2004. It's crazy, my 40 gig hard drive still works. What? I got this hard. When Geek Squad erased my computer without telling me, without, because I would have been like, no, I had plenty of shit on there.

That's insane. They just did it because my computer was acting up, and I'm like, oh, thanks. I lost all of my thousands of pictures that were only stored on my computer. Yo, I think part of the reason why I haven't bothered to find the cable for that lacy hard drive is that I feel like I'll be crushed to find that that doesn't work. Oh, does it work? Like if I know that it's broken and there's like nothing I can do about it, that would be really sad. I get that so you just kind of keep it like. All right.

Yeah, it's like a possibility. It's like Schrodinger's, um, cat kind of thing. It's both alive and dead at the same time because I can't use it and I don't know if it's still alive. I like it. It's actually a good way to, sometimes yeah, knowing is, uh, it's heartbreaking. Uh, okay. So this love, this is murderous is the other. their album, I would have to go with the Love Lost and the Hill of Gunfire.

That's probably their most famous song. And why it's so famous is because they use, and that album, they have two quotes from Bundak Saints. So the first quote is from Willem Defoe. Like, there was a firefight. Do you remember that part? No, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's describing like the scene.

And so, like, the song starts off with that quote. And that shit, like, already gets you hyped as far. Yeah, I love that. I love movie quotes or like narration from like other things being like lead in. Or like being like a part of a song. There's something about I know I know it's technically like not really that interesting because it's already existed or whatever. They're not written for it or whatever. I think it's interesting though.

I love it. I think it's cool. I love it. And I got to say a lot of bands have deviated from that. Like it was like an era because even my band, we are the end. We did it. I put it a clip from Friday. Friday after Next, specifically, of Pinky or whatever.

And he was like threatening Craig with a gun because he thought he was breaking into his music store, his record store. And we put that before it. And then it just gets really heavy. He's like, say it again. Oh, boy. You know, whatever. So that was like the thing of just putting cool, whether it was serious or fucking goofy. Yeah.

And I was like, I need them to start doing this shit again because people. aren't really doing anymore. It's like not trendy anymore. It's weird because when did it it's a weird thing happened when like angst went from like angst knowing that this shit is bad and wrong to like angst being people just being fucking cunts. And like when did that happen? What are you talking about?

Because that's like all of metal from my whole life growing up all of people were metal. Metalheads were angsty as fuck but they weren't pieces of shit. I don't know what we're talking about. There's not like the idea of like that right. Like the idea of like what he's talking about like girls. Freaking, uh, pinky threatening to blow Craig's brains out. Yeah. It's like fucking, it's an insane thing.

But like people that would like that five years ago are cunts. They would be like, oh, yeah, fucking kill that guy. He's an asshole. Opposed to you guys would probably like that and be like, yeah. Well, I feel it's funny. It's satirically funny. It is where I will say there, it's weird that there is a certain amount of people that I didn't really think existed that get the wrong message out of stuff like that where

it was clearly It's clearly just like Oh this is funny comedy And then there's like It's like the people that That watch fresh and fit or whatever Oh yeah Like I think misogynistic jokes

And racist jokes are funny But like I don't feel any connection to it Or it's like yeah fuck that bitch You know like in the way that I'm like You're taking this way too seriously What the fuck's wrong with you And I feel like that was a common thing before I feel like people would laugh at things

Ceterically before all the time I mean it's still there I just feel like There's a lot of people that I think it's not the overwhelming majority. Like I feel like people that often laugh at that may be serious more often than they were before. It's like, oh, that's a joke. Right.

I think, yeah, I think it's just the internet kind of intensifying everything. I think we're hearing the louder crazies more. Yeah, I think for sure. And people are catering to them and thing. And I think that's making. We've got to move on. Yeah. Last one, album is called The Truth.

There's a song called Tragedy of Empty Streets. The intro is fucking dope as shit. that's all I got to say great band I'm gonna see him in December so let me fun yeah yeah I don't know

I think obviously Rises like my go to because they're the tattoo right I have them tattooed on me very important band to me still

but I think like I don't know man I would probably put Devon Towns in as one of those people where it's like I think this guy's probably my favorite artist

period but I don't I don't know if I have a like there'd be too many I still have to do a deep dive into a lot of his stuff I still kind of find

his stuff as I go I know what you mean. Because he's so strange and it's also so weird. That's definitely for me with Kanye. I think Kanye's definitely still like a very important artist for me. Yeah. I know it's his music anymore.

I've kind of given up on it as a whole. But he has like, his lot of his older music is like really impactful to me as a young person. Yeah, of course. Is there an artist that like you like a lot of their songs, but you have not delved deep into their catalog? Do you think there's something like that? I don't think so.

I think like. Honestly, Paramore for me. Ooh. Really? Really? Yeah. Yeah. I kind of haven't really.

don't have that crazy of a catalog. Right, I know. They don't have that many albums. No. Haley has a lot of singles. Like, she's made up in the music. Yeah. Let's see.

So you have... That's one of the ones that come to mind because I like Paramore, but I haven't... I don't think I've... I don't think I've listened to a full... All we know is falling or something, something like that. Something. Something like that.

And then... But this is what I mean. Like, I don't even... I don't know the name. Brand new eyes. Yeah. Self-titled. And then the 2017 one.

And then... Like the fucking... After laughter. Yeah. They probably have like six albums. And then cuss, cuss or something, wherever it is,

they know it was. How many? They have six albums. I think they have six. As far as I'm concerned, they have like six. I've listened to each one. Huge Paramour fan.

Yeah. Yeah. To me, though, the sweet spot was Ryan Brandywise. I actually... Brande wise is a dope fucking album. I think,

man, I know a lot of people would disagree with me, but I feel like it's the same with Lincoln Park where a lot of people like hybrid theory is the best album. I think Meteorra is a better album.

Really? Yes. Absolutely. I think it's just a better It's more iconic. It's more iconic. I think that's a respectable. That's kind of like

Halo 2 or Halo 3. It's like I feel like both of those dances are right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like to me, I wouldn't be mad. I just think in my assessment, it's just a more mature fleshed out version of hybrid theory.

Like the songs are better written. They're much more impactful. Ben is a Lincoln Park fucking fanatic. How does he feel about the new one? He's sensible. So he was like, oh yeah, it's fine. I still love Lincoln Park for what they were, and I still have that. Yeah.

Like a sensible person. I think fine is the perfect answer because it is just fine. Yeah. You're never going to get the same experience you had on an artist. Not impossible. I do have how it is. I do have one, like, really negative thing to say, and I hope this doesn't happen to anybody else. Her screams, the Emily Armstrong, reminds me of the, who is it?

Tara Strong? Who's the actress, the voice actor that does Tommy Pickles? Buttercup When you hear When you hear Emily Armstrong scream When you hear Emily Armstrong scream It sounds like Tommy Pickles crying And like I can't get it out of my head

Like there is a Like there is a thing that Like if you hear Tommy Pickles cry Like the loud Like that's how the scream And I can't get out of my head It fucks me up dude I don't know if I hear that

There's one song specifically where she screams and I'm like, I don't know if I, I don't know if I like it. I think it's fine. Like I listen to it. I was like, there's some that I put on my playlist. I actually liked some of the softer ones more, actually. But he, but he is a huge Lincoln Park fan. He's like, I think Mityora is a better album as well.

It's just when you think about, I'm trying to remember what. I don't. I don't. I like hybrid theory so much. I mix those up a lot. So line for you from you, you want to talk about Lincoln Park. Line from you is my favorite fucking song off that album. It's so good.

To me, it's the perfect, like this is, everything that Lincoln Park embodies. It's a heavy song. The rapping is serviceable. He wasn't that good yet, but like he was serviceable. But like the chorus is... What year is this? It's like 2004?

This is 2002? 2003? So this is before he like... Chester can rap. I think like... I think people that deny that... You Mike? Huh?

Mike? What do you mean? Chester. Oh, sorry. Mike. Yeah. Mike Shinoda can rap. Yeah.

Like I think like people say he can I'm like he no he definitely He's proven he does not He got he learned how He went better He wasn't like a M&M that's probably out the womb Fucking making rhymes as a baby But like he learned how to rap

I would tell you look at I think one of his best grounded songs It was from his Fort Minor album But there's a song called the In Stereo Where it's a very hip It's a very West Coast thing Oh I like that one Yeah

Oh ready for here we go We got this whole block rock and his stereo His his uh That song that song is that song Like he's, it's, I feel like he's perfect on that song where I was like, he, he got that beat, he understood the assignment and he like attacked it perfectly. And, um, oh, dude, no, Meteora is definitely better than Hypertherian. Dude, from the inside, a song easier to run, numb, fucking like that. To me, to me breaking the habit does it because like, I love that song.

That's my, that was, that was, that we fucking all say it at karaoke. All of them. Oh, yeah, that's right. And then I say it. It's, that song is. It's so fucking good man. And that music video was like... The vibe is awesome.

Yeah, the vibe of that song is like unbelievable. Like that music video I think was like the first time that a music video caught my attention ever. Oh. Because I was like, what the fuck is this? That's crazy. I can't... Because that's pretty early. When was Mita Rora?

The Roro was either... This is weird because I think it was 2002. That sounds about right. It's either 2002 or 2003. It's hard for me to... Yeah, yeah. But I feel like... But I'm like...

comes out and I see like that fucking video and I'm like what the fuck is that because I because I'm that's like middle of like the hot streak of tsunami you know what I mean. So like I'm like what the fuck is this? I would watch the show. Yeah that's up man fucking fantastic album. I did a I did a whole retrospective on their albums and I ranked them. That was number one. I think some people it was hard though because I feel like a lot of people need to give living things their 2012 album more listens because that's a fucking actually an amazing album

Is that the one with Lost in the Echo on it? Yes, Los Angeles. I like that one. That album's actually really good. I think Castle of Glass is one of the best songs they've ever written. I like that one too. That's a fucking great song. People made fun of me for liking that song. They're fucking insane. It's good. If you like fucking breaking the habit, how the fuck do you not like... Yeah, it's like it's impossible not to like... Very similar vibes. It's not like complicated.

Yeah, it's not at all. I mean, I don't think things need to be complicated because Is breaking the habit Complicated? It's a very simple Yeah And I'm like People are insane They sometimes they get caught up

In this thing of like Oh let's just hate on it For fucking whatever reason People go back to it and they're like Oh actually this is really good Yeah Comparatively don't stay When you listen to the fucking album

Holy shit It's a good record man Lying from you I've always on apologetically Fain is my fucking jam I still listen to that song regularly Dude I've just so always unapologetically loved

Like if I would play it all the time Yeah I didn't give a fuck I remember I had to I had to live through that weird period Where everybody was like I don't know I don't know I don't know

The park's kind of dumb It's like alright sure Is for a It's a period piece I'm gonna tell you that It's nothing wrong with it It's a period piece Yeah

Where it's just like this is fucking good But that was like And if you don't like it Like God you don't have to like it But like this is definitely not objectively bad By any You know what I don't like I don't like the people

That even like say My boy Anthony Van Tantano. The only problem I've ever had with him is the, oh, I grew out of this stuff kind of a thing. Where I'm like, you're gay, dude. Like, don't fucking talk to that shit, though. You can grow out of things. That's true. I just don't look at, here's the thing. I don't like when people have this, oh, I'm too mature now. I'm not because like the way that, first of all, I wasn't an angsty teenager myself. So the music I listened to objectively. They didn't do anything. I think I'm an outlier because I think there was a lot of people that it really, like, oh, deep into myself. soul crawling at my skin on the depression like I get it and I'm a happy kid I understand and

appreciate what it is when I still listen to crawling or any of those things it's still the same to me yeah it's just good written songs that sound I agree but that I age out of I think I age out of Tyler the creator like I was fucking Tyler is that generation's time of like angst and like I still like what it sounds I still like I know I still like the story I still like the songs, right? And I guess you go out of artists, you know, because people change, people, people go on their paths to, like, change the sound. I don't know if I, I think what's happening. So I guess, I know, no, no, you're right. You're right. I agree. I just, the way that I, the way that I, the way that I feel about is, like, there, there are facets of things that I grow out of in the sense of,

like, I like this song for X, Y, and Z, right? And now maybe I, I, I, maybe I don't like it for X as much because it, I don't, it doesn't hit for me in the same way. In that way. Because I'm not in high school and, like, these lyrics used to be very challenging, but now, like, as I've listened to a lot more, it's just like, oh, they're fine and they do what they... But like, the other things are like, this sounds good,

or like this is a vibe to karaoke to or just to put on in the background. Like, that to me, I never age out of that. I always still like the things for liking them. Right, exactly. Like, I may have liked it because, like, it was like something

that really spoke to me. Yeah. But I still like it. It's just that that's not something I would like listen to all the time, but like, I just still turn... Like, what song do I fucking...

I liked so much that I fucking... I can give you a good example for me. Go ahead. Like, I hate everything about you by Three Days Grace. That's a good song. Yeah. But there was a time where I thought that was like, oh, man, this is I fucking feel this.

Yeah. I don't feel that anymore. Yeah. But I still like that song. That's why I'm interesting. It's fascinating to me that, uh, that's what I said, I think I'm an outlier because it just, since I was a, I just was a happy kid. And a teenager, I didn't have like, my challenges were very mundane, right? I felt very, like, privileged, even though, like, we were just,

normal middle class people. But I didn't feel like, you know, teenagers are very self-absorbed. Like, oh, my life, so this, everything. So I didn't have that. So when I listened to Lincoln Park fucking break stuff, limb-biscuit, none of that shit meant nothing to me. It was just felt cool. I'm like, oh, man, like the way this sounds fucking give me something to break.

And like the fucking that riff, done it. Like it's, it just sounds fucking awesome to me. Corn. They made some like very depressed songs in the, in their untouchable. album. Right. And nothing. It did nothing for me. It just sounds awesome. Stain. Stain is a notoriously sad fucking sap pussy band that's all about, oh, I'm so sad.

There's a song called like, For You or to my mother, to my father. And I'm like, that should be nothing to me. But then people that are like, oh, I'm so sad. You know what another one was here? You have a bully by Shinedown was another one of those. Ah. That, um, you have a, what you call it? You don't have that emotional connection to the songs. No. I think that's why you have the

perspective you have. Yeah. And I think like, I think this, like growing out of things is like a thing that happens. I think it just does happen, you know?

I don't listen to things less for sure. Like, for me, like I used to disturb nearly as much. Like I used to love Pokemon so much, right? I was a big fan of Pokemon. I still love Pokemon for what it was at the time when I was loving it,

you know? Like I still love Tododal. I still fucking think Arcanine. It's probably the coolest thing to have a giant flaming dog. I think that's a lit as fuck. Yeah. But like, you know,

like I don't really play this. That's a good point though. It's a, That's a good point because I did fall off a Pokemon pretty fast. But you still love the ones you love. I have fucking coughing tattoo on my thigh. Exactly. It's still a thing, you know?

So I guess that took back to the original point where I don't know why, say, for example, I just picked Anthony because he's so popular in what he does, is that I don't think he needs to acknowledge or even say that like, I don't really listen to this anymore or I grew out of this because to me it doesn't really, it's kind of like, well, you're, You're being objective about this music right now. And that's all I care about is how does it sound to you? And not say, does it, like, it's almost like you're letting people know, like, hey, I want to let you know that this just doesn't speak to me. Like, don't think I'm a weird fucking angsty kid or I'm going through some shit.

Because that's how I feel like when people say, like, oh, I don't listen to that cringy shit anymore. And I'm like, well, yeah, it doesn't need to be cringy music. It's like, say, I wonder, hey, can you listen to a baby metal? You don't understand the lyrics. Like, I don't understand a fucking word of what they're saying. right yeah it sounds awesome it's like me it's not in the fucking dweeb music like when I was like

people listen to weed me like it's like I don't know like you don't have to say I think it's weird you can still acknowledge it's good you can still like oh right this is like I think it's weird that like when he says he ages out of things he seems to do it in like a

I'm too old for the eventano but like it's one of those things where it's like I think he does it it's like an all or nothing type thing it's like oh I've aged out of this facet of relating to this music therefore I don't think it sounds good anymore it's like yeah that's kind of crazy Yeah, yeah. You're not going to fucking...

Is it conceptually like that all the time, though? Is it like... It's specific bands with a lot... Well, I was going to say it, if it's not like that, if that's not how he's meaning it to sound, he's doing a bad job of not... That's how it's coming on.

That's how it's coming across, I think. There's a lot of records he doesn't, or there's a lot of albums that he doesn't review and something that I would expect that he would do. And there's other ones like... And it always happens to be in this span of time where it was like new metal and metalcore where he'll preference

that, oh, I don't really listen to this anymore. I don't know what a time I was into this. But then like there's other things that like that have consistently said good to him. He never has to have that like asterisk or that disclaimer. And so I'm just like, all right, man, you don't need. Look, I think people understand. It's like say me, if I was going to, I don't like I said, I don't really listen to disturb that much anymore.

Right. But when I do listen to it, it still sounds good to me. So it's not, the music hasn't changed. And I didn't really gravitate towards the message. just because I always thought it was just it just didn't apply to me. Yeah. It was a book of a little movie, but you know, one thing that does apply to me was a more political messaging, like you said, like punk.

Right. And say a lot of hardcore and like say, Kill Switch and Gage, their old lyrics were very like unifying and very just hardcore and shit. And so that stuff stuck with me. How I'm feeling right now, like as a person, a very jaded just because of the big. Of course, yeah. So I don't want to listen to that right now. Right now when I hear that unifying shit, I'm like, shut the fuck up.

because I'm just not feeling that right now. That's me for Rise, man. But it's definitely, that did speak to me. And it's just a vibe. Yeah. It's not like I'm going to put it away forever. It's like, oh, I don't listen to that anymore. I think there is also like a desensitization thing too.

It's like, you know, things can only be exciting for however long. You know what I mean? Like, I've listened to every Rising Anz album so much at this point that like I don't, like, I don't, like, when I'm playing music, I kind of don't put them on that much. Because I've heard it. Like, and I, you know, sometimes I'm feeling. it and sometimes like yeah I could listen to Savior right now or I could listen to fucking this entire album front to back but it's like it's a much rare occurrence than it used to be I used to have it constantly you guys on sociopaths I have over fucking thousand fucking song

playlist where I'm getting music from like 2000 fucking 11 what do you mean my Spotify playlist like my Spotify playlist is so huge I have songs yeah mine's pretty he went over it like on a recent episode I'm so I'm so lazy mine is I need to get on your guys's love it's from songs that like I have songs some like the odd future days that are like Troncat and freaking um that song's intense Troncat is an intense fucking song I'm like 84 hours in one minute That's what I'm saying dude I told you guys but what do you guys what do you think how long is my longest playlist You're like 50 something songs right we talked about this on an episode we did we did just just an hour just guess hour hour I would I would guess maybe like five hours and Kingston Maybe like maybe like

Three Really? Three hours That's wild Three hours I just That's only like Six seven albums

It's not enough Because I well I'm a very When I do playlist Because I used to make I used to make playlist on CDs All the time And it was specifically No

I tried my best No artist repeated It was like it was like My playlist are extremely curated And so I have my ultramix which breaks the rules will have maybe two or three artists but it's just a handful of songs

from one artist and then I get lazy and don't continue it and I was like fuck there's plenty of I'll discover I've discovered a I recently discovered a band

that's quickly becoming probably one of my favorite bands called Unto Others and they're like to me a non-gay version of ghost you know like say if you're like I feel like there's some people

of that like the music ghost but then they're like ah what is this is a theatric shit this is gay as fuck and like Unto Others are like they have a similar vibe, but they don't do any of that, like,

theatrical shit that some people will look at it and be like, this is crudgy and stupid. I agree. Some of the music I listened to before is like, like, for me, it's particularly Tyler. I look at, I look back at O, Tyler, the creator,

and I'm like, I get it. This nigg was tripping. I get it. This dude was bogging. When I listen to Link, not sorry, when I listen to Limbiscuit,

specifically. Oh, I'm just like, but even when I was young, I was like, this is stupid. But, like, it was fun. But now to me it's just infinitely more stupid It's still fun But like I'm just like this is dumb as fuck

But I still enjoy listening to it And I feel like that was the thing where I'm like You know uh you'll fantano me can't you just like still You can just be we all nobody I don't think there's anyone on the planet That doesn't realize how fucking stupid this shit is That's not like we all get it It's just one of those death

When we get it it it's stupid as shit Question that based off this when in one moment And you guys would like realize like Like when did What age did you guys lose your, um, you're like, egocentric nature? You were like, oh, yeah, the world is way bigger than me. Like, it's a way, way bigger than me. I don't know.

I'm still waiting. I think I was genuinely like, maybe like 17 when I was like, oh, like, oh, like, oh, this world is way bigger than I am. Like, I, there's, there's shit going on. I mean, technically, technically I feel like it happened to me like a couple times. I think like, I think when I was seven, I was like, I grew up real quick and I was like, oh, fuck. Okay, everything's weird.

But then I think I kind of fell back into things, and then I think maybe 20. It was when I came back out, I think. I was when I started, like, not keeping myself in a box about the stuff that I wanted to take part in, I guess. You know, where I was like, oh, I don't know if I want to watch that movie. It's like, or I don't know if I want to listen to that music. It's like pop or whatever. I don't want to fucking, you know, pop music's dumb. So, yeah, I think.

I had my pop mix, man. I had my pop mix. I had my pop on a low. I didn't want to be real about it because I always liked I was very upfront about it I like Justin Bieber for um I just put Natasha Benning what is it um pocket full of sunshine on my playlist Oh good song I didn't realize that was

Yeah yeah I didn't realize that those were the same songs by the way What do you mean? Like the chorus and the verse of that song I remember them being separate songs I don't know the verse at all actually So the There's a place that I go that nobody knows where the rivers flow Yeah yeah well I well that's what I'm saying it's like the choruses, I guess they're two choruses.

It sounds different. Because I got a pocket, I got a pocket for the sunshine. And then it's, and then it's, and then it's like, take me away to better day. Oh, that's the same song. Yeah. It's one long chorus. So the sunshine is a pre-chorus. Yeah.

Gotcha. But isn't that weird? Like I thought I could have sworn those were separate songs. That's not a short song. Isn't it like a six minute song? No, it's not that long. No, wait. You're not going to make a pops song that long.

It's crazy. Shut up. I think the producers would like. No, it's like three and a half minute. Okay. The producers would kill someone that made a pop so that long. They're like, people don't have retentions for that long for pop.

No way. People have no retention for songs in general. That's why they all have radio edits. That's why you don't even know. That's why you don't even know the full song. Well, I'd never listen to it. I would just hear it.

Like, because it was popular, dude. Like that song was everywhere. It was in like, you know, restaurants or like department stores or like. Honestly,

I only remember that song from the movie EZA. I don't know if I ever. EZA. Oh, was that, Emma Stone? It was the first movie. It was like,

It was like a, it was like a, like a Hallmark card or something like that. You'd open it and it would start playing that song. Right. I only remember from that fucking movie. But back then I was trying to pipe Emma Stone, you know. Because I was like, I was like, oh, I'm a background actor. I'm going to work my way up like, they all did. Yeah.

I'm going to pipe this bitch. And then, you know, of course. I think it's really funny how like, that's another movie that I wish I could see the respective of the little black brother who was just like watching his sister. I wish I could just see. I wish there was like a director's cut or like DLC to movies. So I could see movies. from other person's perspective.

Like I would love to see a horror movie from perspective of a friend that didn't go along. Oh, so it's just like a life? Well, he's watching it happen from a distance. And he's like, well, that's crazy. I feel like if you watch it from, it happened from a distance, you're involved. You're pretty close to it.

It was like me. He's just like hearing about stuff. It's like me when I went to Tower Records and my homie was like stealing a bunch of CDs. And then like we went to Taco Bell and he's all I'm going to go back. And I'm like, yeah, I'm going to wait outside. I was like, and then all of a sudden I see my other

homie come out and he's like, yeah, he got arrested. My friend got arrested that went back for seconds. Like a fucking retard. Then I'm there watching like, yeah, of course.

Of course you get in a fucking, you don't go back for seconds, you're retarding. You don't double dip that fast. Exactly. It was crazy. It was crazy. Like an hour later.

It was crazy. I was supposed to be in Tower Records on that day. Damn. I get it. I get it. That's crazy. How many?

You would have somehow been to, huh? How many records you steal in 111? 9-11 I remember I see that terrible tragedy yes yeah he did he somehow stacked he held them

in his hands he had a bag of holding and he just kept showing him inside do you think they immediately called like do you think like on the morning of 9-11 when that happened by the end of the day

um like maybe like 8 p.m somebody was like somebody walked into a apartment somewhere it's like oh you're looking down what's wrong and it's like oh you didn't hear 9-11

I think they said Do you not know what happened in September 11th? Yeah. 9-11. 9-11 just happened. You didn't know? I think they said what happened on September 11th. No, but it's still 9-11.

They wouldn't say that. They were like, what just happened? What happened today? That's what they did on when Kobe died. I was in Dunkin' Donuts. And then they were like, oh, my God. And they're like, oh, dude, January 20-something. And we all started crying and pissing ourselves.

It was crazy. In unison. Everybody kept shooting the donuts in the fucking trash can. Kobe, Kobe. No, we're all like good. Kobe. It was crazy. Everybody was getting top on the counter and slamming the head.

You know, do you know T. Hawk? You know T. Hawk? How he does this fucking like a little. The diac. I can't believe it was a plane crash that got him. It makes me really sad that that was just, that was just straight up incompetence, man. Yeah, just with the guy. He was like, do a barrel.

Then just. And then just. In a helicopter? A barrel in a helicopter. It's such a fucking fundamental misunderstanding. This fucking guy was just showing off. There was some girl in there that he was trying to fuck, right? That is so crazy.

That's like trying to drift on a sponge or something. Like, it's just like, that's not. It's like trying to drift on a fucking scooter while you're in the highway. That's fire. Have you seen people drive their bikes and, like, low profile their bikes and then get under like fucking yeah yeah I want those people to be on a bike on a bike not on a motorcycle on like oh you mean a bicycle yeah like a bicycle yeah like a bicycle please advice all right let's move on I've never I do want to bring this up because

we mentioned so robotic this question I didn't I didn't read this question earlier but it kind of has something to do with something that we talked about I just want to make sure it's red because may I ride your bicycle it's a bicycle it's a bicycle Is that Don James or whatever the fuck that guy was? It's not called a unicycle, is it? Got him, he's thinking. Fuck. I'm inside of him.

I'm inside of your heads already. Do we say unicycle? Yeah, unicycle. I understand it's correct. That's why I said it sounds like a robot where like a sort of robot. A bicycle. I don't say bicycle. Of course you don't.

Anyway, look, I'm not a big fan of the government 30 on 30. He said, hello, worms. I just want to let you know, let you in on a conspiracy. The government won't let you name your children slurs because doing so will cause the child to become immortal. That's why Dick Van Dyke is still up dancing circles around even those 20 years younger than him at 98. Samad is keeping us all down and I'm tired of sitting in silence have a good one. That's real. I didn't consider that.

His name is various slurs. Yeah. Dick isn't a slur? Well, it can be. I mean, it could be. You're a dickhead. That's not a slur. It isn't.

I mean, technically all, they're all slurs technically. No, I think slurs come from. No, because, like, you have to put the caveat, like, say, racial slur, this slur. It's a slur. Yeah, but I think a slur is just a denigrating remark. I thought that was, I guess. No, I guess slurs have to have something like some negative connotation, pre-condentation to be a slur. What are you saying?

Well, no, because, like, say, you can call someone a Jew and it can be a slur. Even though Jew is not supposed to be a slur. Oh, my God. I'm telling you, there's going to be a compilation of this guy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm saying it's an offense. Whoa, I'm pro-Jew in this moment. And it's one moment.

Now he says. This one moment. Look, look, I'm going to change my tune very soon. But like, in this very moment, it's like, I think that's a... I get it. What's the war stops? I get it. I understand.

I think. I think slur is technically, it's a spectrum. You know what I mean? I think there are slurs that are not particularly offensive. And I think there are slurs that are on like the end. But I think because we only consider the deep end of those slurs offensive, those are just referred to as slurs more colloquially. But I think it's all a slur.

Yeah, that makes sense. Oh my God, zero's calling me again. What the fuck is that? What is going on? I've never been, uh, you hit me, hit me? Zero's all zeros. Whoops, all zeros. So an act of speaking in DC.

And it's from a guy named Scam likely. Scam likely. What a fucking weird name? That is fucking, what is this? It's so weird. Is that Scandinavian? Hopefully the email voicemail. Let's see what's going on that.

That's the president. Derek, I still, I know you hung up on me, but I want you to lead the gays. I got a pocket, got a pocket bill. Hello? Oh, no, he's dead. Gay. You got a phone call from zeros. Dude.

And you answered it and answered. Yeah. But the crazy thing is, he knows my name. So I don't know what the fuck this is. It's probably somebody letting you know your house is gone. We're taking everything. I mean, if it's important, they'll leave a fucking voicemail. That's crazy.

I mean, you did hang up on them twice, to be fair. And I did say, sorry, he's dead and gay. That is fucking crazy. I feel like it's the first time he's ever heard that, whatever this is. Oh, for sure. And gay? Fuck. And gay is pretty crazy.

I'll leave him alone. All right. Let's get the fuck out of here. Let's wrap things up. Flintlock pistol. We got like three hours. I was up in this bitch again. Hey, bro.

It would it be, and it be that way. It really do be that way. It'd be like that. I got a penis full of penis. I got a penis and it really fucking itches. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. It really is. A specifically itchy penis. Yeah. All right. Cut me down. We're going to read our $25 and up patrons now.

You can come in, go over at Patreon. Patreon. Patreon.com slash a snark tank. Get your name on the list. Make me read your name. Uh, count me down. Three. Two. One. It's Emma. Uh, halal pussy got me stoning. Halal pussy. That's crazy. That's pretty good. That is insane. Um, Gunamus Prime. That's a really double feature right there. That's a double feature if I've ever fucking seen one.

Guna Miss Prime, comedy shorts, rapist, and as Shaggy and his little companion, Rufie Do, hitting a puppy with a psycho crusher. I like when he did the wall bounce one too. So a wall bounce, dude. That motherfucker's God. If your whole wife ain't treating you're right, come up and see old Dan. I'll rock him soccer. I'm in the face. I am from the 60s, man.

Sleez merchant, bleaching swine, so white. He looks like chowtsu. I need that. That'd be fucking amazing. He should do that for Christmas one year. Yeah, dresses chowsu. Should you do it tomorrow.

For the Christmas chowtsu. Christmas chowtsu. Hey, TN. There's a picture I saw somebody drew of him like with like a fucking magging face or like a, no, no, like it was like a,

no not my, like he was like a mewing. He was like, but it was so gross. Siles merchant bleaching sweet and somebody looks like, Chowse. Go look at a porn of him fucking Tien

Because you know You know, it's already there Look up Chowtsu crawling up TN's urethra Ever so Ever so slightly in lovingly The fact that Chouts was a grown-ass man Really bothers me He isn't

He is He's 68 He's probably older than that little kid I mean yeah actually He was 40 something When they found him You know That's serious

That's just a 40s I understand But like He's so ageless to be Right Like I never considered him As having an agent all.

How do you spell chow-su? I don't know. I figure that out of you, though. I guess, yeah, let's see what happens. Just phonetically guess. I think there's a Z in there. I-Z-A-O-U. Well, don't trust him on spelling.

That's true. That's also true. The Black Knight, starring Comstain Bale and Heath Edger. Stupid. Broly backshoting Sweeney. Sweeney is just christened his o'-r-r-R-E-R-R-E-R-Mil-E-E-Millionaire? writing girthy That's gay millionaire

What do we got? Camillion gay Galeon gay That is a Camillion Game That sucks That's so bad

That shit slapped Ro Being gay And retarded is a Caribbean thing I got news for you You're fucking gay As in homosexual You

You you You you you You killed Uncle Hank. I'm getting boned in. I'm gaping. This dick's flowing in my ass and ain't a stop in. Try to have to be dick in my butt. No.

No. My booty hole. Try to put dick in my ass. Trying to put dick in my ass. They try to for dick in my ass. It's so fucking shitty. She's putting a penis. In my butt.

They're trying to put a dick in my ass. They're trying to do my ass. Try to do dick in my ass. fucking you read I don't know you finish it finish his page I'll take over I'll take over afterwards Oh my God

Jesus Christ No regard for syllables at all That's what makes it more fun I'm not doing it for the art I'm not here for that Coldt What the fuck Coltrane and Buttigieg in a Pacific

Grinch Mac 596 hour energy in a row to unlock the gay gene, beating Jimmy Carter death in a pillow fight, Domo Nation, Vaughn of the Dead, jobless bum wasting $25 a month on this shit. I listened to that gay Ben Shapiro verse the other day,

or every day. Today I learned meth was first discovered and created in Japan, yet another amazing contribution to have made the American society. Fire. They invented Adderall indirectly. That's crazy. They did. Oh, yeah, right, yeah, man. Because it is technically a method. It's something like meth in. Yeah. I genuinely

cannot tell if Kingston is anti-Semitic or not. That's the fucking point, maybe. That's what I want to be. I want to be at that place. I'm like, he is profound. He hates Jews, actually. That's crazy. Literally one of my best friends.

Two of my close friends are Jewish. He's one of good ones. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, well, I have black friends too. Yeah, he's also not presenting, do, you know? Jew presenting is insane. Yeah, I know. That's why I said.

Yeah, Chowx was an old man, actually. Wait, how old is he? It was like 60. So it's crazy. In the, in the Dragonball GT series, he's, he's,

uh, 51. He's 51. I can't explain exactly why, but that is exactly the funniest age for him to be. Well, him being 51 and not 50 is hilarious. Yeah,

right now about in Dragon Ball, right now in Dragon Ball, in the manga, we're currently right before the end of Z. Like right at the, currently with a manga. I can't even right before the end of Z. Yeah.

So like, you know, when you see the everything when they're like going to the tournament and all that stuff and they're flying and shit. Yeah. That is where we are right now

in the series. That's so stupid. So we're at the end of Z again. Yeah. Technically. Okay, so nothing's changed. There's got a whole lot

I got a whole lot of filling it in. This is the worst sci-fi ever. Like, it's so bad. It's so bad. It's like, it's magic bullshit. It's so bad.

But like, I love it so much. I mean, I'll be a right of die, Dragon Boothan until... Yeah, I don't need it make sense at all. I don't know.

Yeah, absolutely. I genuinely can't tell... He became an alien and it was like, what it's happening. Literally hammering someone... Literally hammering someone in the ass. Going to do heinous shit to loose the Vatican Church's anime girl mascot.

Blair White canonically banging me, please. God's hottest fend boy fucking straight men. I built my goon cave for Sween. Will Graham pissing in Hannibal's mouth and giving him a piss kink. Um... Do... What the fuck?

Wait, what? Dopeinder. Damn, you're really, uh... I really am looking at this and I am so bewildered by what I'm... It's the first one. Look at the first one. Mm, the penis. Go shout at a clit over, you cunt.

Thanks for reading it outside of the mic. Mm-mm, do penis. Go shout at a clit, Homer, you cunt. I mean... It's a reference to... I'm getting it's the Simpsons, but like... That's what I'm saying. Do penis?

I thought it's like, do penis? Maybe, but it's... I think it's a donut. It's a donut. It's a D-O-U as in penis. So I think he's like... Oh, so it's like a donut penis. Like a dough penis?

Dude, I had to think so much to rat my head around this. I don't know, man. That sucks also. That's better. What do you... At least cum nut, I don't know. Come nut. That's a...

Death. D.S. Double a thunder. . N-words be named James. and only be one N-word. I saw that meme a few days ago, and I was like, what the fuck? It was a meme where it was fucking beer saying that to somebody. And I was like, what the fuck is it?

Because James ends an S and it's plural, and it's like one person. Is that what it is? I guess. All right. I was like, what the fuck is that? Do you think things are going to get funnier or less funnier? Yeah, an individual James should be Jame. It should be.

I mean, I guess. It is weird that. Yeah. My name is in Derricks. Yeah. What fuck's that? And my name isn't Chris. It should be cry.

Did he be crying? Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. What going on Chris? I've definitely been called that. Absolutely.

Yeah, of course. You're in Memphis. I've definitely thought. I've definitely thought about come. Epic butt battles of history. My dick versus your ass. Big me. It's just gay porn.

It's literally just gay fucking. One of the guys getting fucked. So he's fucking blinded. It's fucking. It's the same fight every time. It's just this one poor asshole getting blown in some shit, blown out. Just fucking inside is turned out, dude. You can hear the dude squealing.

They don't show, they don't show. It's right above his ass. He's showing the torso Just fucking good Big meaty stinks The human taxidermy Flashlight And Dildo business will pop off

Trust me Andy the man who's handy And now S-Therbin And forever dandy Who won? You two You decide Who's next

We decide We decide RFK Jr looks like A renin stimpy character He does He looks like that live action Like that hyper-detailed One where

The guy wakes up Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that fucking drunk. That clip is amazing. He wakes up so human. Yeah. It feels like it's like a rotoscope.

When I find myself in times of trouble, Papa Gary comes in me, peeking in my rectum, I am gay. I am gay. I'm gay. Heath Smoker going off, going, Heath Smoker going is off to Vegas. Gid's revives. View Slaves, USA, the Goon Goblin.

Nice. You can actually do that. Yeah. Put that one on and start jacking off a box. That would be insane. He'd come on the eyes of it and then wind show up it off at your fucking thing. You have to lay pipe in that shit, man. No, fuck.

Absolutely not. That's crazy. You're going to suffocate and die. You know how hard is to breathe in that thing? You lay on your fucking back, bro. Conditioning. And she does the work. I'm not doing that.

That's, dude, come on. That's crazy how against you are. I would never. Against you are. I would never desecrate that helmet with that. That's enhancing the helmet. That's enhancing the sexual experience. I'm not about to wear a green goblin helmet during sex.

Oh my God. You're, I thought, I used to respect you, man. That's actually really, I want that exact interaction to be clear. I am not having sex and a green goblin. I used to respect you, man.

You have it. Why not? That's, well, first of all, it's relatively expensive. It's relatively expensive. I also feel like, I've ever told you this. this theory of like I would do that

I would do I would do that I don't know if I've I don't know if I've actually talked about this on that yeah you go that's a law yeah yeah

what are you trying to say I stopped I said you weren't gonna fucking it but like continue well I was gonna say the reality is my my family got in my head

in a really weird way not about this specific thing but about you've seen how that thing opens right how it's like a mechanism yeah I remember going on the recliner

once pulling the recliner open and I think my dad or like I can't remember who they said you know you've just used one use of that and there's a finite use of there's a finite number of uses of that lever I mean either right but like and they're right like I know they're right that's what bothers me is that they're right and so now I think like every time I open and close that thing that's like one use less and I can't there's something about that but then when you die you don't do that you don't do that you don't know I guess one of those uses should be for sex I think that's all I think I'm I don't know I don't know I guess I don't know I I wish the camera was on when he said that. He looked like, you looked so stupid when you said that. Like the ignorance poured through. That was crazy. There is a,

so the way that ballrog and street fighter is drawn is how I imagine my face when I'm talking like that. Because his pupils are so small. I feel like he looks like a fucking moron. You straight up look like a different person for like five seconds. I picture him because like, You can't, if you draw big eyes in the smallest pupils, they look insane and stupid. Yeah, it's impossible.

Yeah, it's like a Christmas character where their eyes are just the people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What you should do is you do that. You come so hard, you pass out. You slam that shit on her fucking back. And then you just wake up bruiser. You fucking leave a whole goblin face on her fucking back. What if compromise?

She wears it. Is that dope? Wouldn't that make it? Wouldn't you probably come way quicker? He doesn't want to admit it. He doesn't want to admit it. Like he's like in the most euphoria he's ever been in his entire life. Finally.

Is this what it feels like to have sex on it with heroin and ecstasy? Out, you say. Oh my God. I feel I feel like I'm planting a seed. I'm going to flip you. I feel like sacrifice. He's going to do it. You're not how much.

It was my jizz. I've sacrificed. Avenge me. I feel like some, there's going to be some smoking hot broad that's going to hit. Dude, imagine. She's going to listen to this and she's going to like, I'm going to get Chris to fuck me with that thing on. Chris, imagine you just finish piping her down. She's like laying on the thing that you walk up to her and you don'tke her head with the freaking thing on.

Oh, like it's fun. Like on the roof? Yeah, yeah, on the roof. It's just reversing the prophecy. Come on, dude. I think we're planning a seat right now. This is all very funny. I think we're planning a seat right now.

But I don't want to do this. This is not enticing to me. We're planning a seat. He's going to, he's going to. You're a coward. At a certain point, you're going to, wake up. You're a cow.

Godspeed. Bitch. You can do the whole thing when you're like, you have the cover over your head and the back in a fire. And if she comes over me, you put your dick in my mouth.

I'm just so removed from sex at the moment in general. That like I can't even conceptualize this happen. Why are you hurting me? He's gay. Why are you hurting me? I need you to get sexually active and put that thing on.

I'm protecting my peace. Damn, damn, bro. That's a maturity that I wrote. I don't respect, but like I... Yeah, yeah. I get it, I guess. Ooh, my gladiator masks is here. He ordered one frame two. He got a mask. I'm gonna get a mask too. No, I need, no.

He ordered at the beginning of the show. As soon as I saw... She can't tell me not to get this, God damn. I'm getting it. No, no, I'm, I'm a gladiator song that I wrote like... I made two years ago, I'm finally going to drop. Because that's stupid gladiator. or two movies coming out and I was like I might as well

Oh yeah isn't that terrible? It sucks us Denzel's probably going to be really good in it But like Yeah It also is so It contradicts so much of the previous one That movie was written by people who think Denzel is the president Yeah yeah

It's crazy how we got Barack Obama to be this I can't believe They thought they got Barack Obama I can't believe we got George Washington's greatest descendant To be in our movie I mean that might be very true I might have more footing than it should I heard that he retired from being president

so he could go hunt slaves. It's facts. I don't know if that's true now, but it's interesting. It was originally written in the Constitution and he just erased that part. Yeah, yeah. He used white out. He did.

The goon goblin, Sweeney'd be like, if I'm not mistaken, and then is mistaken. That's amazing. That's why you say that. I guess, but like, you know.

That's the point of that. Whoever said that is a, never mind. Whatever, man. I hope you endorse you. Whatever, man. Have a Merry Christmas. Ricky Berwick will rape Sweeney in his sleep tonight. All right.

I can forgeting he exists. Yeah, we're not on that's how to do. That's fine. We're like, we're like divergent. I mean, people forget everything. Like, I posted today, and people are like, oh, my God. Chris Reagan hasn't been shot and killed twice? In fairness, it's the first video I posted in like a year and like a month.

Yeah, but you're like, hey, I'm on two podcasts. Yeah, people don't know that, though. That's, even though I tell them. I tell them. It's in the descriptions. Uh, whatever. Yeah. You got to spell it out for them.

You go, yeah. People, people, if you tell somebody to find the bathroom in a room with only one door, they'll get lost somehow. Yeah. Actually, yeah. Yeah. You can walk them in, too. And it's not a, it's not like a maze or anything. It's not like an MC Escher bathroom.

And he'll shit. He'll shit right on the fucking toilet, the top of the toilet seat. He'll shit right on it. Like, what happened here? You believe the shit? On the top of the roof. Oh, what happened? I was taking the shit.

You know, on the top of the roof. I get no respecter out of here. He jumps off and kills himself. I think that's exactly actually I think that's really what happened Yeah He's fucking lying What Jay Leno?

Yeah he's lying Yeah he was actually sitting on a toilet seat And then he fell 40 feet He put a toilet seat on the edge of a fucking Fully 40 feet Yeah He put a toilet

On the edge of a fucking high-rise building Took a shit And forgot he couldn't stand Straight up there A lot of people telling me That I can't make feces up here But I like to see them try to stop me

Get some to wipe and fall That's in that he's one of those He's one of those people that stands up to wipe And then he just fucking Humbled forward And pants around his ankles Flipping a little bit I get off back out of here

And he hits the floor so hard He's flat for a little bit He got his fucking his face He saw that shit He's bam And then the rest of the shit comes out He's like Well at least I'm not constipating anymore

He's tumbling through the air And he's like you see this can you see this? I love I love that all you have to do to do an impersonation with Jay Leno

is like pretend like your testicles were just hit and just ask people if they're also seeing what you're seeing the idea of Jay Leno falling

you're walking on the street you see this and you look up and Jay Leno fall and dies right next to you he fell

right next to you he's like he's like one of the His last words are to a stranger on the sidewalk. You see it this? He survives a little bit on the ground. He's breathing really heavy.

So, guys like, are you okay? He was like, have you heard of my broken? Get it out. He can't. He's trying. Have you heard of my brain? Have you heard about this? And then he dies.

And then he died. He tried twice. He tried so hard. He had one two second and he's cooled out came out. He was like, I'm going to try one more time. He died. He's not. Cool down.

You hear it. It sounds like glass shattering. There's blood gushing out of his mouth and he's still trying. Yeah. His eyes are melting. His breathing sounds like when you vacuum. up a bunch of water. Out of his fucking head.

He had the grounds on the... He's... He's... He's... He's... He's... He's...

He's... He's... He's... Anyway. Anyway, get well soon. Nah, don't. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't like him. I don't like him, but at the same time, it's like... I don't know. There's something about... When I see somebody and they're old,

I'm like... No, fuck him. He fuck him. I don't like him forever. That's fair. I agree. But also, I don't know. I feel bad for old people.

There's something inherent in it for me. I have a weakness for that because I just grew up around like really good grandparents. Oh yeah for sure. Random old people I feel bad for them. Yeah,

yeah. But if I saw like say Jay Leno in front of a bunch of cops and he fell over and his head exploded and was leaking blood, I would not feel bad at all. I think I would feel bad. I think I would chuckle

but I'd be like that's still like human. I was still chuckled though. What on the blood come from? What does this blood come from? It looks like somebody was dropping. bottles of tomatoes

on the floor that's how fucking and now to play us out Jeremiah in the two can't sandies and a band pops out he's on the floor my geriatric band comes out too like yeah

for me it's like just let old people like they got a tap dancer as like one of their band members like that's an instrument it makes me sad but like just let old people go man like I don't know man I do I yeah I agree

personally right now I'm experiencing that and I'm just like just go home he fucking asshole I've been cutting like every now and then when I'm in the credits Derek stinks a bite of food and I always cut to him

cut to me while I'm fucking trying to eat no I won't do it Sweenie uh he believed the guy he believed this guy he believed this

he believed this thing Ricky Berwick uh okay I read that already uh look up pesticide by PFL I don't know who that is um Dick and I guess I won't look it up Dick and Ball's

penis Dick and Dick and Balls Dick and Balls Penis Time in the City Dingling Kevin Durant's feet Dr. Manlove or how I learned to stop worrying And love the cock Cool

That's Dr. Strange Love Here you go It's penis time in the titty Carry on with the UK slender This shit sucks here Mr. Pants When I was cleaning out An abandoned apartment

I found anti-BHS. You got to eat in the morning, man. That's the best way to survive. I don't do it either. I know. Well, I got up early today. Well, dude, the other day, the other day I just couldn't sleep

and I was just like, fucking, I'm going to edit all night. And I popped in Adderall at like 2 a.m. That's a terrible idea. I mean, like, you got things done, but also like. I was also awake until like 4.30 p.m. the next day. Yeah. But I took a nap. I'm back on a normal scheme schedule now.

But I woke up pretty early today. Like I woke about like eight. And for some reason, I was just like, I think it was just handling like the video stuff, making sure like the, you know, the tweet goes out, making sure that stuff is ready. Yeah. And then by the time I thought to get food like, like it was five minutes before we were recording. I was like, oh. It'd be like that, dude.

I didn't sleep very much last night either. I'm a little tired. But I've kind of moved past the tired. I got a text message. I know I know you didn't sleep because it was, I think while I was prepping for bed or something, I get a fucking tweet from you or Instagram. I was like, this thing is just like, he's just watching bullshit.

He's going to be up all night. Yeah, that fucking happens. I hate when that shit happens. I'm just up all night looking at fuck shit next to the least. Like, Kingston, stop laughing. So fucking loud next to me when I'm sleeping. You're laughing while he's sleeping. I can't know.

When it's really funny, I start doing my. They just be like, I just stay in the living room because I know I'm going to be bullshit. I wish. I think it's like, I'm going to go and great for bed. And then I'm laughing at a fucking. fucking dog. Never mind. I'm not even going to bring this up.

You got to put your phone down. I do. I literally do. Okay. Mr. Pants, when I was cleaning out an abandoned apartment, I found a hentai VHS, a beverage of sorts. Check out the Snartank Bingo app on HIO. Anyone can enter bingo submissions.

Enjoy cardboard pie. Frochogen almost defrosted once. Mr. Beast raised 100. GK and brought a blind AIDS children to freeze him in exchange for the probably the cure for AIDS is what it says. It cuts off. Nomes are real and I kill them all done. I kill them on site. Jolly O'Divchick, Alan Wake 2, Alan Woke, Sacky Pussy Lips.

Alan Woke. That's so obvious. I can't believe. Yeah. The blood of the covalin is thicker than the water of the womb. Every mosquito is every mosquito this phase. every mosquito this phrase

everyone misquotes oh my god I'm that just like holy shit you thought misquotes was mosquitoes that's how this I was like

what the fuck I can see it in my head how you would how that would manifest what the fuck what's about

the next time death battle what is this what is Kessington versus the Bronx Jack Jack

now that I think of that Johnson is a simple as simple as a multiple holes ain't no bitches as thick as my bubble booty bros uh for the dix of I guess uh crucibleed worm chatsuu doesn't have a wife sweeties a tart he got married to a little vampire girl I'm actually right about that I know this I watch episode like two days ago what are you talking about he was supposed to get married to a little what I guess he wasn't what a show what we were talking about uh chowtsu so chowtsu I think that could be wrong he was supposed to get married to a little chinese girl

But he had a wedding planned. He had a little suit on. Isn't he 60? She was a little vampire. So he's a pedophile. Well, she was like one of those. She's a thousand technically type motherfuckers. It's like, all right, but like a shirt.

Rise against you used for straight men, smitchi the kid. I guess that's literally the same thing as chowtsu, right? Because he looks like a baby. For chowtsued in that predicament, I guess. It's basically the same thing. It's more fine than anyone else could probably have it be. Yeah, that would say it like that. But also, if you're attracted to a thousand-year-old dragon, it's like eight-year-old, I should get drowned.

So, smit you to kid. Wholesale. It's an absurd how superb that turd in my burger is. She pippet on my pippa, clip the wrong, wait, wait, click the wrong button and sub-down. That's here. I'm back. Sweeney, showers and sneakers. Sweeney Fawes with...

What? Sweeney Faws with his own piss. That's true. I can't deny that That's so mean I'm just here so I don't get killed British people come in to be like what's all this then Star coffee

I'm white but my dad left after going to prison twice can I say it Depends that's great Context clues man I figure out where you're at Chris was right American dad is pretty funny Rogers Not as annoying as As you said in my opinion

Transfam Gremlin Yush How can Sween be a nurse if he can't read You'd be surprised You're gonna kill a bunch of people Yo bro, I just won't I just will make sure Like I'll look at four words

And I'm like This right Yeah, I think I got it People are dying there anyway What's up man? We need less people here anyway Bro fucking resources and shit It's gonna be like twice

The amount of medicine You're supposed to give them With full of fucking Bubbles in it and two He's just fucking injecting Straight into people's heart You're just fucking You're gonna be a minute

Stevey Tom Sweeney do What's a goal Dealing out heartfelt insightful life advice then laughing like a dolphin when a guy falls on a window and dies. The dichotomy of me, bro. I'm a full-fledged human, man.

Cried the Canadian. He turned into a dolphin when he hit the floor, dude. I'm not sure you, I have to find that video. It's really fucking sad. Craig to Canadian. The easiest way to throw all the Snart G. Podcast is the saying no. It's your boy, Shawnee D.

Serberist Agent 267. Aswine kind of looks like a bacteria. What the fuck does that mean? My guy, what does that mean? What does that mean, bro? I like a human being. Fuck, man. I don't know.

Maybe. That Rorschach seen in prison where from the watchman, but it's boiling cum. That is so fucking distaste. That is, I love that thing so much. First of a pot of boiling cum. They're boiling cum. It's insane. In the prison cafeteria.

And Rorschach. You think you'd hear screams. Plus the glass and then. It throws it on that dude. And it's just... Dude, the scream that dude makes is hilarious. Oh, man. It's funny as much one.

What is that? It's fucking... In the watchman live action movie? Oh. Yeah. When he throws the oil on that dude, but it's the scream he makes when he does it, it's perfect. It's because they really did it to that guy. It seems like...

I swear sometimes in movies, they get things so accurate. I'm like, did they just really... They really burn that guy. They really just do this. That movie is really cool. That's like a really, it's, unfortunately, it's, it's fucking Snyder. And Snyder's a fucking edge lord, and he just fucking misses the point of stuff a lot. Even though Watchman is a very edgy thing in general, it's kind of the point of it.

You know, what are you doing? I think, uh, I think it was, I think it was great other than just how old he, you just trying to ground it and there was no like Cthulu monster in the end. You know, that's me as a, just a dumb ass being like, yeah. You know, but like, to me, as far as the what it was, what it was, what it, did. I understood everything. I think the scene

watching with, with Royshack and the pedophiles is one of the best scenes of a comic movie. Well, I actually, I quote that shit

all the time where I go fucking because he's like, oh, you caught me, take me to jail. And he kills the shit of him. And then he says, men go to jail.

Dogs get put down. And I'm like, I love that so much. I love that so much. And like, well, actually, he's like,

all dogs. All dogs go to heaven. After he gets put down. You said a pedophon. Head to Orshack, you fucking idiot. Then what if he just turn him into a human and kill him? He goes, yeah. And then fucking you see his soul just to sit there.

I'm going to do it up here too. I'm going to do it there too. That's crazy. I love, that's such a good scene, man. I really. That scene's amazing. I think that movie, look, man, I feel like sometimes people need to go back because not Angley's fucking Hulk because somebody I saw a retrospective on that.

Yeah, let's relax. I'm like, shut the fuck up, dude. Angley's Hulk is not terrible, but it's. I just hated those transitions, man. They were so distracted. It was tasteless. I think that scene is fucking hilarious. I didn't notice that until people started posting that clip online.

He punched a fucking. I've seen that movie a few times. I don't, I never noticed it. I guess I wasn't paying attention to me. I don't notice it either. But like, that movie sucks,

because my brain is like, why would he punch Betty? I was just like, what is happening? Colks retarded. Like he's the way wrote him like he's a, bumbling retard Bette

Sorry, we need Jay Leno's Hulk Yeah, we need You seeing this shit I like him dying too I think it's so funny seeing him die All He starts He starts getting small in parts

What is this? Leto Smash Yeah You hear about Yeah Somebody give me a shot They're like to blow my brain

All right. 3XO, hot boxing, an Uber ride with Farts until the driver rolls down the window. Sorry, I ate kimchi. You're the dickhead for that. Oh, my God. He should be legally allowed to reach back around and finger your eyes until you die.

Sherrod Brown, he's going to fuck your mom, make your dad trance, and eat your pets. That's real. Slurping, stroking, smoking, joking. A motorcon is going like gig 1800's YouTube We'd be like The Civil War situation is crazy

The onion fucking Wait, which is about The onion fucking bought For wars That's not a joke It's looking up, it's real That's crazy Fucking huge man

Obi-won to blow me I beat off Suck his penis Just to show him I'm gay A Kremlin McGramele 50 cent Uh 50 cent Blood in my piss

Sweene built like a spider Being built like spider versus kingpin Uh Phallus and chains be like I've been believing a boners are in me I believe them boners are in me At last one human size Of 164 million 785

It goes hard That goes hard Sween stop gaping your ass My grandpa My grandma keeps licking them need to scream. What the fuck? Why?

I mean, that's... This looks fucking perfect. You got a smudge on it now. It looks like you. Sick fuck. It looks like you. Godspeed.

Godspeed, Nick. I so wanted to say it too. I so wanted to say it. That she would say to Miles. Godspeed, Negro. Oh, man. You dub it. You dub it for me.

Godspeed. You want me to say it? Yeah. Godspeed. Go ahead. I'm going to bleep it out. Go ahead. Say it. No, you're not. Okay, Godspeed. No, say inward man. Oh, no, man.

Never mind. I wasn't going to say that. But it just works. I think that's funnier. That is funnier. But that's what gets him killed because he's so thrown off. The fact that he said that. Myos stops moving and he's like, that's what happens. And Peter's like, bro, why did you say that?

He's like, I thought he would die. I thought he was going to die. I thought he was going to die. I got scared. I thought I was going to get killed and then nobody would know anything. But now I'm alive and I was hoping I'd die. In fact, I don't want to be here anymore. Don't mind me.

I'm just relaxing. That's cool, Gobby. All right, here we go, Gobby. This one's for you. The fact that that is the fucking mass they chose for Green Goblin is still so far. fucking insane. That's fire. Like I think that's such a crazy. That's a power. That's a power. It's definitely a Power Ranger.

There's definitely a Power Ranger prop. They were like, let's use this. I love it. I fucking love it. It's so good. Finish. Finish it. And he went right in there afterwards. He got some shoves up.

Wait, what? He got some sloppiest topiest. Some odd. Oh. That's that she was in the hospital. You're gay. He was flying. He was fucking flying. He was like, ah.

He's, Dix out. Vote for Jill Stein. That's great. The Green party. The Green party. You know, I'd vote for Jill Stein if I could, that fucking snake. I have a glider and it's so gay, but I like flying around on it.

I like throwing bombs at little people on the street. I'd vote for Joe Stein. I'd vote for Joe Stein. I love you so much. Green Trumplin. I love it so much. Donald Green. Donald Green.

I love you so much. Donald Green. Green trampling. You spray green spurt in my face to like that ass out. May I sure you get him in the hole. I wanted to live inside me. I love you so much. Thank you for feeding me your delicious green cum.

Feeding my worms. We got to. We gotta take red coloring out of fruits. Look at me as I fly around and I say we. You look amazing. You look so amazing. Thank you. I love you.

I really love this. All right. Wait slave 583. But Pity Bros. Report J-D fans as sexual relations. Jeffrey from Peawee's Playhouse

Who could never have a podcast That's like He went on Joe Rogans for hours And I'm like Who listened to this? Joe's dumb ass You're like You'll get you up

That's basically what's happening Like the entire time Like so fast that it looks like he's not moving Right He's doing a Wakanda for everything That's how much he's done it Don Gungerson, here's a good question. Why?

Olly, he'llie, may a good cutting come bounce on me cock into the back of the boobin. What is the Wakanda for everything again? Bear next for a lot. Yeah, I forgot. Shut the fuck up. Are you a girl? That a name? You're less than me.

Yeah, a lesson than me. So I want to grab by the back at his point and holy... DJ, whatever you do, do not give me a piece, stupid. Pee-B, sometimes when I wipe it feels like I'm getting gum out of the hair with the napkin. Wow, that's not good. In the Yakuza series, you earn completion points. Oh, also here. When you go to spin them in the menu reads, trade CP.

Yo, it's crazy. There's a lot of it. This can't be a coincidence. Because no one understands that except for fucking people with fucking internet brain. I feel like it's, no, like I feel like these people do understand and it's funny that they can get away with it. yeah because someone must bring it up and then somebody else is probably like they're not going to confuse the two

cracking my penis before sex me be fishy I 360 no scope JFK don't fuck with my great uncle Robert yeah that was him going to Super Sand This is the girl

Even further beyond Is that his gold-ass worms That's great Up and there beyond. Unbelievable. He's powering up. His throat holes closing. It fucking actually hurt.

It was like shaking so hard. I've never seen so much power. It feels like the earth's about to rip apart. He fucking collects all the fluoride. Unbelievable. That sounded really good. That was way better than I thought it was going to sound. And I can't replicate it.

I'm believable. I want to get really jacked so I could do the fucking picture, him point at himself, and then do another picture of me on the ground with my arm broken. It's a terrible motivation for being healthy, but like absolutely taken. Whatever helps, dude. Whatever I get you there. Keep it up, man.

Okay, Merck's 1889. I said verily before I put in, put it in my girl, and she turned around and hit me. So I believe that. That's a real thing. I didn't think verily was that standout of a thing, but it was in a lot of comments. People were like, you should put that on a shirt. Like, maybe.

Oh, actually, yeah. Why were we doing? I don't remember. I don't remember either. Chris kept going to places and going to bathrooms and are getting sexually assaulted. And the guy would come in and say verily and sexually assaulted. That's right. I forgot why it started, but it was like.

There was a reason why it was barely though. Yeah, I think it was like. There was no good reason. It was just like very. It started off. It actually. I think it was grounded in some. Dumb hypothetical.

Barely would say that for some reason. It was something about Norwegianness. No, it was like a rent fair or something? Yes. Was it that? Like medieval times. He did like going to rent fairs. Did you go on with us?

It was like medieval times, a renfair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then I go to the bathroom and then somebody goes in, Verily. And then molest me. So it should be Verily in some fucking like medieval guy like standing?

No, I like the idea of just verily. Like we'll find, we'll figure it out. If people, if enough people thought that was something. Or a terrified picture. review and it says very it's it's the word verily and like like almost like feminine script it's like and then an eye

crying and then you it's like a chubby Chris would like barely over him just like let's see okay uh the first time subscriber first time question asker let's go and that's not true because you're first to keep David you've been there for a long time

Chris please cover American idiot I'll donate $100 so if you if you cover American idiot Look, you give us, well, I don't know if he'll do it. You give us $100, I'll tell him to do it. And we'll see if he actually does it. Can I do it?

I could probably do American Indian. I never thought to do it. I don't know. That's like one of, honestly, I'm probably one of my least favorite songs by them, to be honest. It's, yeah, it's very, it's a, I think I've just heard it too many times maybe. I like a lot of, what about, what about holiday? What about holiday? I like holiday.

I like that song rules. Yeah, I can do holiday. Yeah. Well, he did ask for, I'm all changing it. We're negotiating. He's not even here. If you'll accept holiday, I'll even, I'll write the drums. I could, yeah, whatever.

I'm doing music right now, kind of, but it's like I kind of forgot. I've been working on video stuff and kind of taking a backseat. But maybe, I don't know. If the mood strikes to do American idiot, I might do it. Don't want to be an American idiot. Yeah. It's nice. Robert.

I think an entire Instagram dedicated to R.K.G. Covering songs is kind of fired. That's a great idea. That's actually would blow the fuck up. I'm having trouble sucking meat. Okay, hold on. We should do that.

That's not a bad one. That's actually, yeah. Meat dix stew. Dix stew, yeah. What the hell had him? What did I do? All my own, my penis. gross. Oh no, I'm going backwards.

My dick is wide while it's inside, guys. On my, I'm homo. Daneus, penis, penis, penis, penis. Penis, penis. Penis. Penis. P penis.

There's no. I, I. It turns into that song. That's so stupid. That is incredible. That is psychosis. It turns out. It turns into a fucking crazy train.

It turns in that psychosis right there. Oh my God. What the fuck? What are you doing? What happened? Where's everybody at? Why are the planes crashing into building? Everybody, Sergey.

What the hell? What's this bearded guy? What the fuck is American Express? They're all a mass. They're all a moth. You're all a moth. Brightened I feel like a boomer right now man

This thing's like let me see let me see Yeah go ahead Somebody fuck like I can't get it to move anymore I think I just need to reload What do you mean? What like that? Oh I'm trying to use the fucking dude

I'm trying to use the pad Oh yeah no just use the yeah It's just like it's there so my by default Yeah I got you This is a laptop That's why I swear to God I wasn't even thinking about I could touch it That's crazy

Dan, you are a boomer. Sometimes I am. That's the most beautiful thing ever, dude. Sometimes I am. That shit was kind of nice. That's going to happen to us all soon, man. We got to get ready for it. What are you talking about?

We're going to become old and we're going to be just not in touch to the world anymore. I don't care. I'm already not in touch. I'm already not who the fuck anybody is. We're going to, like, dogs are going to be able to vote to and are going to be like, well, I guess, you know. Yeah, whatever. I don't know. Who cares?

Imagine a day that you can't own a dog anymore. Is there people? That's going to be crazy. Because they've been. We won't. see that. I hope not. Something's wrong. Let me just do it. No, like, it's not,

this is the last page, but it's not, look at it. Look, it's not, it's stuff that's already been said, and I'm not sure what the fuck happened. I don't understand. It's stuff that it's already been said. Let's go, go to the end, for example. Yeah. It ain't King of Hab hazard. Oh, weird. Yeah, maybe he finally left. No, because like, it's not even what, it's not even what I started off with. Because I was trying to figure out

Where I left off And I'm like, wait a minute What the fuck happened? I think I literally boomered it like an old man And just fucking The filters are probably all fucked up or something What the hell happened?

Is it wrong too still? No, it's fine It's just not, it's not It must be in a Oh, it's not an album It was stuck on page two But it glitched I guess Oh is that would happen?

Yeah, I'm already here I'll just do it All right, how dare you Wage Slave Wage Slave 583 Pippini Brothers Grandpa. I want to do it.

I want to re-single the roof. The Doppler effect. The idea of throwing your ass over your head and you start moving fast and you start moving fast. All right. Pagetka-3. Pimini brothers report J.D. Vance has sexual relations with Cherry from Peeway playhouse. Donned Donkerson, here's a good question by, and that's it. Or you would be a good

cut and come bounce on me cock, and back to booky, dipepo. Oh, you said that. Uh, huh? No, I, I left off at the verily one, I think. Oh, I don't know. Verily. You left, there's a verily one on this. Yeah, it'll be the next one I think. Gade six. Nope. DJ, whatever you do, do not give me a beat. P.P. Sometimes I wipe and then it feels like getting gum out of my hair with a napkin. Yeah, we're just doing In the yakuza series Okay, wait, there was a Verala? Yeah, the C.P.1.

Oh, verily, I see. Yeah. The first church of Keith David, first time subscriber, first time question asker. Chris, please cover American idiot. Oh, fuck, that's where we left off. I've seen the cum man, Jerry.

Free razz. Spread your cheek so I can shit in your ass. Blake 896, radio head, nice peen. Back off. Brat summer, it's time for Liam Payne Fall. Shirtman merch, but it's just Jamiroquai. Alaskan oilfield trash Texas state of salad, young Sheldon beaten in front of a live audience.

Tickle my ass hairs, pearl jam, Jeremy's busting on my face. Nice. Oh, my God. Oh, that's Nikki Zicky. What happened to Paul Joseph Watson? Did he die or finally come out of the closet? I don't know. That's a good question.

He just became his hands. They finally usurp the rest of them. He's just giant hands now. Yeah. He's just a pair. He looks like... He's master hand. He's master hand from Smash.

Okay. Fair enough. Preheated toast. Sorry, Miss Jackson, Badly Brave, Seriously Black. Aetherian, Orange Man Hunter, Nefram, Melfis one, and rounding at our list. King. The King of haphazard. King of Gizzard Wizard.

He's the King Dekar. King Jizzard in the Jizzard. Nice. All right. Let's get the fuck out of here. All right. Bye. Bye, everybody. Have a happy Thanksgiving, I think.

Godspeed. Godspeed, everybody. We'll see y'all soon. Whatever. Bye, suck my dick. That was the mostly weird thing I've said in a while. Oh, fuck my ass.