The Snark Tank - #29: Depressed Prince of Bel-Air

Episode Date: July 16, 2020

That's not hot! Will Smith and Jada reveal unnecessary details about their weird relationship, liberals boycott Goya, Sweeny and Chris have several screaming matches, Wayfair is implicated in a sex trafficking ring (turned out false, obviously,) Einsteins girlfriend behind bars and Jaden Smith is unnecessarily harassed. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Hi everyone. This is Mariah Rose, co-host a full circle and the creator behind Hoops for Hotties. Whenever I'm headed out to a workout first thing in the morning or getting ready to yab about sports with the girls, I'm drinking Gatorade Lower Sugar. I've always been a Gatorade Girlie, but I don't always need more sugar in my life. So Gatorade Lower Sugar is perfect. It has 75% less sugar than regular Gatorade and all the electrolytes. It hydrates better than water and has no artificial flavor, sweeteners, or colors. Try Gatorade Lower Sugar today. Available on Gatorade.com. in stores nationwide. I like things my way,

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That's V-Y-V-G-R-T-May.com. And talk to your doctor about Vivgar-R-M-R-E-R-W-W-E-W-W-R-W-E-W-W-R-W. Hart Hitrulo, brought to you by Argenics. Hey, look, it's a little dead mean. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the Snark Tank podcast. It's me, Chris Reagan.

Your host. Ew. Your host. And I'm joined once again by Sweeney and Derek. Hello, guys. Hey, what's Brackings, huh? Well, I got news for you. You gay.

That means you gay. You gay, bitch. That clip, that clip, is it in Law & Order SVU? that's from? Yes. Yes. Yes, SVU, because Ice Tea. The only good one.

Yeah, it's the best one. Because, arguably because of Ice Tea. Black men just make shows better. I just got, I'm sorry. We just make shows better. We make media better. I think everything's much more enjoyable when there's a little bit of flavor,

a little bit of color in there. Think of the best music ever made. Fucking soul music. Made by who? Neegroids. Exactly. Exactly. This is already a fucking mess.

Exactly. You can say whatever you want, guys. But I know I'm fucking right. You just said a fucking Jared Taylor word on our fucking podcast. I can't believe you. I mean, I'm taking it back. What the hell? You can't take that back. I'm taking it back.

All right. You take it back. What the hell? Now listen. Now listen here. The Negroid's skull has several divvits upon it. Oh my God. That incentivizes their most subservient than the other groups.

Stop. Stop. We got merch at T-spring.com slash stores Slash Snark Dash Tank We got fucking merch at Snark dash tank dash I'll fucking break your jaw, nigga Don't fuck with the marketing

asshole They heard you already It's fine Oh fuck off Oh my god I hate you so much It's all love What do we

No it's not love It's not love here It's all love Yeah sure So what We've got a lot of shit That we could talk about It seems like a lot of shit

is happening at once. There's a lot of canceling shit going on. There's TikTok is on the fringe of being, like, banned in the U.S. praise the Lord. We've got Gilane Maxwell, Jeffrey Epstein's girlfriend and arguable accomplice is in jail now. She's still alive somehow. It is insane. I heard somewhere that she had, someone had said, like, oh, Gielain has a coronavirus, which is like super convenient. Oh, gosh.

God. So we'll see how that goes. I don't know. I haven't looked into that. Yeah, I don't know if that's true or not. I heard that through the great find, though. But it'd be wild if they were like, yeah, you know, turns out, it turns out coronavirus can blow your head right off your neck. It's pretty fucking wild.

She had a very rare, acute, extreme case of coronavirus that led her to explode. That literally chokes you to, it fixates you. Wow, that's insane. Yeah, this version of coronavirus that Gilaen had. actually not only shattered her skull, but somehow like completely just disposed of her remains. I've never seen anything like it. It's kind of crazy. Yeah.

And the craziest thing is that it also infected the cameras. So the surveillance cameras were suffocated. That bitch got COVID-21, bro. Fuck COVID-19. She has that fucking evolution of it. Dude, I swear, man, if she, I, if she dies in, in that fucking. prison, man. I don't even know how to handle the rest of the world. Because, like, that is such, that would be such an insane scenario. And I'm saying would be as if it's not going to happen.

It totally is. Like, she's a dead fucking woman. I feel like maybe the only reason she's not dead yet is because, like, there, and again, this is all, like, fucking happenstance and, like, hearsay. Because, like, who of any of us really knows anything about this person? But, like, I heard that, like, she might have, like, a dead woman switch or something. Where, like, if she dies, like, all these tapes of all these fucking people get out and, like, get posted to the fucking internet, which would be fucking... That would be nuts. That'd be some Warwick shit. That would be dope.

That would be wild. I saw something like that, and it actually disturbed me. And why it disturbed me is because of things like Jeffrey Epstein were there's a lot of people that just absolutely hate conspiracy theories, but then they see shit like this is happening and it's unfolding before our eyes. and there was one that I still, you know, there's a part of me, I would say 80% of me that's like, this is bullshit. Because it was about Tom Hanks. I'm like, Tom Hanks is not a pedophile. Get out of here. But there was this guy that was like, I'm going to expose people.

If I die, I'm, shit's going to come out, you know? And then when he released that video, because he was like a background actor, somewhat of a actor, you know, just somebody just in SAG. And when he killed himself by throwing himself off of a. one of those bridges on the freeway. Oh, wow, cool. Yeah, like, he killed himself like three days later after releasing that video saying, I'm fine, I'm not going to kill myself.

Like, I'm totally good. And then he did. And then this one video was released of like, just showing some weird type of like, I don't even know. I was like, maybe this is just from a movie. It was like these little kids wearing these, almost like a slave laia type thing.

And I'll like, like, like little pageant babysuit type of thing. bathing suits. And I'm like, I don't know what this is. I don't care. My brain doesn't want to compute this shit. And then it was just diving into that stuff. And I'm like, I don't want any more of this. I don't want any more of this.

That wayfair shit, too, is, is, have you looked into that at all? I haven't looked into it because I, my brain shorts when it comes to, like, children being abused, man. Like, I don't, I don't even. My girlfriend brought it up yesterday, and we were all freaking out about it because it's so crazy. It sounds so insane. Yeah, so what's the gist of it?

Because I don't know what's up with that. Before we get into it, I just. want to say, conspiracy theories I feel like have, have like a negative connotation even though it's like I mean, come on. It's by design. It's by design. Come on. Yeah. Like, let's be, like, I don't think

there's like chemicals in the water turning frogs gay or that like, oh, you know, chem trails or controlling how the way, like the way you think or whatever the fuck. But like, just because that's insane doesn't mean that conspiracies aren't real. Like, there's obviously like plenty of conspiracies that actually do happen. that are a little bit more based in reality.

I think the Epstein shit is like obvious shit. But the Wayfair stuff is like wild. I don't know if this is real or not, obviously. But apparently like there are... So, Wayfair is being essentially accused of trafficking kids through expensive furniture. So like basically like there's a bunch of like there's missing kids reports of people with like very specific names. Like Annabelle spelled in a specific way and like, uh, Jority spelled in a very specific way. And then you find furniture on Wayfair named after these kids at like extremely high prices,

like $13,000 for like a fucking cabinet or something. And the idea is like, I guess that they're smuggling kids through expensive furniture. Right now with Ram Truck's Declaration of Deals, Well qualified current FCA lessees. Get a low mileage lease on the 2026. Ram 1500 Big Horn crew cab four by four for $369 a month for 39 months with $4,099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra. No security deposit required.

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Like, I think the most insane shit about it is that it doesn't even sound impossible now. It's horrible. It's not even, look, here's something that a lot of, and this is the problem, especially when it comes to talking about things with kids, is that your brain absolutely doesn't want to believe it because it's like the worst thing. Yeah. And there was, I forgot which podcast I was listening to, because this is how much I kind of like suppressed it, where they're like, oh yeah, you can go to Thailand because I don't remember what it was, but it was probably like a Joe Rogan thing. I was like, you can go to Thailand. And for 600 American dollars, you can pay to hook up with kids. kids, you know, because obviously, to $600 to Thai people is a shitload of money. And so they

sell their children for just hundreds of dollars. And I'm like, if that is going on regularly over there, like, why wouldn't some people figure out some weird elaborate shit like Epstein? You know? Yeah, no, exactly. Dude, it's, it's some crazy, in Thailand specifically, like, there are hotels that will, like, offer you those services. Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, so upsetting. That is so upsetting. It's insane. It's, it's some of the wildest shit. And, like, dude, man, I really hope that either Gailane stays alive and is able to, like, out like everybody or that she does have, like, a dead woman switch. Because I would love nothing, nothing more than seeing, like, all of these people just get completely reamed in the public. All those motherfuckers in the black book and stuff, like, it all comes out.

That should be, oh, my God. That would send waves. Can you imagine, can you imagine Clinton and Trump implicated in this? Oh my God I would I would be so elated Could you imagine Everybody but Bernie was involved

Like everyone you could think of Like anyone like like like Like I kid you not Like everyone that's ran for the last 12 years involved in that shit And Bernie's like well I guess I'll take it now It just becomes president I don't understand

Why is everybody a fucking pedophile That doesn't make any fucking sense to me I'm just from fucking Brooklyn It's what is this It's literally the idea of like everything goes wrong and it's like that one kid that goes and picks up Excalibra at the end and it's like well I guess this is me I guess I'm doing this now it's like uh it's like that fucking flash cartoon the with the ultimate battle of ultimate destiny or whatever it's just like mister you don't

remember that old fucking cartoon no I don't I'm not sure if I saw that either oh my god that's like internet that's classic internet shit where Mr. Rogers mr. Rogers is the only one standing at the end I remember that I remember that covered in blood I remember that actually fucking good shit but like that I don't know man it's all the shit is, all, this shit is just depressing, but it's probably like the biggest thing that I saw happen aside from like, you know, I don't know, Will Smith. Oh my God. Poor Willie. Yeah, it's rewind time into sadness. Jayda's been getting jicky with it. Just, it's been getting jockey with it. Yeah, it ain't just the two of them anymore, you know. There's quite a few people that are involved in

this shit. thing with Will Smith and Jada Pickett Smith and I don't fully understand what's happening still. So she, they were married, they were separated for a little bit and then she got into a relationship with somebody during their separation. Yeah. That's what's happened. As some may do, as what does, like this kind of verbally agreed with about a separation being, you know, enacted upon.

Yeah. Well, here's the deal. This is why it's, because it's, it's, it's basically. as it is, that is what basically happened. But with a little bit of nuance, is they were supposed to separate to find happiness by themselves, emphasis on themselves.

And Jada was out there getting fucking tag team by people. I get it. Yeah. And so, you know, and look, there is probably, we could say that. Like, Will Smith, maybe he taxed some women too. Maybe he was smashing some shit. But here's the deal. Jada got in a,

intimate relationship, which she called a quote-a-contanglement, because she doesn't want to admit to herself that she was just, you know, really betraying all the emotions that were involved. Because there's one thing to smash, especially when you're separated, and you realize this ain't doing nothing for me, but just to get into like a full-blown relationship, or it's like, I need somebody to love me, so I'm going to just get into something.

And I think that's what hurt will so much, where he's, because obviously it would have came out if he was, doing the same thing like oh yeah me and fucking uh harley quinn you know he's will smith yeah like he we like something would it came out that like we had a very intimate and long-ass relationship or something and you know she would have said that was hot and then will smith would have been like oh that's hot yeah kingston what's up did you say harley quin was will smith no i didn't did i no no no no no no he said that but he was saying yeah because he's will smith meaning that something definitely would have came out because it's will smith oh you said harley khanes oh you said harley

Harley Quinn and then I heard him say he's Will Smith. And then I fucking lost. What the fuck? That fucking bent my brain so bad. I was like, did I say that? And I started trying to remember everything. And I couldn't remember two seconds ago. My brain like halted. I feel like I saw the end of my life when you said that.

Because I was like, am I wrong? Have I been? Am I wrong? Remember when I thought you were sprinting in your apartment? It was basically that. It was basically because like I misunderstood. Like when I think of Trebyshe's name, what's his name? Trebichet, Trebo.

Tribiiani. When you fucking say that, it knocks his name out of my site. Like, I don't... I have no clue what his name is, actually. Trudeau, Trudeau. Justin, Trudeau. Stop doing that. Like, you got to say, Trebuchet. That's so fuck that you just bombard people with fake information until real information leaves them.

I'm special. That's like a fucking Guantanamo tap. I'm not like other girls. continue about talking about how Will Smith got his heartbroken in front of millions of people Oh yeah

Yeah so like the It's sad to see Because we all Will Smith is a national treasure All the way from I would say fresh prints Up to Independence Day And just keep going

And then after a while People kind of like All right we get it You know you're still loved But you know Maybe you should stop making movies And It's sad to see him so

distraught but trying to play it cool. Like even there's like a six minute or so interview that was trending on YouTube. And seeing this guy like trying to like, you know, joke and laugh about it, but you can see the pain in his eyes. And there's this really infamous screenshot that's just been floating around. I even, you know, it's my Twitter avatar right now because he's just so broken. And everybody's making jokes. And it's like, it's funny, but it's also kind of sad. They're like, yeah, he needs to change his.

named as Smith because he's lost the will to live. And I was like, oh, I was like, poor guy. But it looks, I have a hot take right now. One, first and foremost, the biggest problem is that it's no one's business, what they do, dude. They're a married couple. And if they're not making it public, no one should, I don't know why people care so much. Well, Jada has put it on a show. Yeah, this was, this was them.

I understand. Yeah, just called a, wait, wait, what's you called, Chris? I don't know. He's a fucking idiot. Jada. He's stupid. He's stupid. Whatever.

Let's move on from Chris being fucking brain back. Fucking Jada kiss? Yeah, Jada kiss Pinkett Smith. Jada kiss Pinkett Smith. I mean, let's be real. Okay, let's be real. If I had the chance to fuck Jada Pickett Smith, as much as I am, I really look up to Bill Smith,

I'm fucking taking that chance. That's a bad bitch. I'm not doing that. Ah, dude, I actually, I think I'm a, have to decline because I respect. Because of that much, you have that much respect for him? Why damn? I really, like, honestly, like,

not even fucking around, I have just an immense amount of respect. Just, of Fresh Prince was such a fucking important show to me. And his acting skills were phenomenal. Even, like, the sad parts. It really, really did something to me.

That guy can act. Like, he's a good actor. You know, he was, he was, he studied under Stini Portier, who was another fantastic African-American actor. But. Yeah. I saw a Gemini man and like fuck that movie. So I'd fuck, well, Jada. I'd fuck Jada.

I'd fuck Jada. I'd fuck her knees broken, man. I'd break that bitch and half. Like, I don't give a shit. I saw, yeah, after Earth, man, that's even worse. That was fucking. After Earth was terrible. I get it.

I'd fuck Jada and fight Jaden. Actually, I wouldn't fight Jada. I'd pretty sure Jaden knows martial arts. God, the name's so stupid. He's a twig, but I'm pretty sure he knows how to fight. He doesn't. There's no way he knows how to fight. He's rich.

He doesn't know how to fight. That doesn't mean anything, Chris. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, let me prove your stupid ass incorrect. Floyd Mayweather is stupidly rich. And guess what he does. He fights. He fights.

Are you fucking serious? The same fucking thing. He's still fucking fights. He's still rich. Bro, are you saying that fucking Jaden Smith, who is famous for being the child of an actor? You never know. On the same level as fucking Floyd Mayweather, you fucking him. He's not, I'm not, I'm saying he can fight and he's rich.

He can't. You literally said, you literally said he can't fight. He's rich. He's rich. He's rich. He's rich. Because he's rich, because he can fight. Not because he's rich independently from it.

Hey, man, you didn't say it had to be independent. No. You never put those out there? I didn't know that was the case. I'm not going to retract my statement. I tried to assume that you were intelligent. Hey man, you got to make your, you gotta make your, you know, your stipulations correct. Oh my God.

That was so fucking frustrated that you would make that argument. You know, you know, you got to make the situation correct. All I'm saying is that he might be able to fight. So you might think he's sweet and you get your ass beat. That shit happens. I don't know if, I don't know if you've seen Jaden. I've seen him. He's a tiny boy.

He is not a whole lot of person. But you never know. And I'm not going to walk up into an ass beat. No, I do know. I do know because that's the reason why we have weight classes for fighting. Weight classes mean a lot, but it's only very, very, very, very, very relative when it comes to grappling. He looks like an emaciated gray. When there's a lot of grappling involved, I definitely agree with the weight class thing.

But I've seen smaller people fuck up bigger people. Like, real, really bad. He looks like, like I've seen, like I've seen fights in New York City that go. so off the rails, it's ridiculous. Yeah, but a little man getting on a guy in a corner. Those motherfuckers are on PCP. It's just two people throwing hands

and one guy, they're on, bring him on the get him. And the smaller guy's like, he's going to step into his range and he just banks his jaw. And then the fight goes down here from there. I'm like, well, okay, that guy's an idiot. That guy's a dumb person right there. It is possible for Jaden to catch you like square in the jaw because it doesn't take

that much pressure to knock you up. But the odds of that happening, I feel like would be slim to none However, it would be fucking hilarious Look at this That dude was a- He was a karate kid, bro Look at this

He was a karate kid Look at this Look at the discord right now You're telling me You can't beat this Voldemort Looking child up I'm not saying I'm not saying I can or I can't bro

Lots of fights of luck bro Lots of fights of luck bro All I'm saying is that I'm not a trained fighter And I'm pretty sure he was a martial artist when he was younger. And I don't think you exactly lose all that. A martial art. He did karate kid.

He's not a martial artist. I don't know how much he trains. I really have no idea. I just, I really like, I, I follow fighting enough to where I would bet my money on you, Sweeney. Even though I know you don't have fucking experience other than just maybe scraps in the street or whatever the fuck you did.

But I just cannot picture that thing. I can't. Coming close to beating you. I can't picture. That thing. I can't picture anybody. He looks like he could, he looks like he would die in a paper airplane crash.

Oh my God. That is the fucking, that is some shit that I've heard when I was younger, just the meanest shit ever. Like, you wouldn't, you couldn't fight your way out of a wet paper bag. Like,

that shit is so fucking disrespectful. Yo, the water did 85% of the work and you can't get out of that bag. He still can't get out. What the fuck is your damage, bro? Get killed. Get bent. Yo, what are the odds?

What if, what if, what if Jaden was like, here's this? I need a new, I need a new comedy podcast to listen to. And he was, that'd be so fucked up. Look, Jaden, I, I respect you, all right. Dude, you've had some, you've had some, you've had a, you had a pretty bad movie with your dad, you know, real is real. You had some albums that were not the best received. I like them, you know. I'm not going to, I like that one song when he's, like, dancing in front of that car.

What was that? Icon. You know that one. Yeah, I think that's it. Yeah, yeah. I like that. I like Sear. I thought the album was pretty cool.

All right, I guess. Out of Calabas' freestyle is actually a good song. But all I'm saying is that I don't hate you, bro. I actually look up to your dad and you, I would fuck your mom, no. I would fuck your mom. This doesn't help. This doesn't. Listen, listen.

I'm being a buck. I'm being a buck right now. Look, I'm not trying to lie to him. I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to be disrespectful. I'm being very serious. apparently your friends can fuck your mom so if you ever want to hit me up and call me over I'm shooting through can you imagine

can you imagine we like the next thing that they tweet after they after they canceled Shane Dossett is just like this snark tank podcast is very abusive dude that would make us more popular that would make us a lot more popular it would but also like that's a lot that's a lot of fucking eyes

we're gonna get a lot of hate it's a lot of hate to feel with it's a lot of our fucking mentions would be really annoying look I don't know anything about you, Jaden. Okay. I don't know anything about you. You're a celebrity. You're rich. Therefore, I feel totally fine making fun of you. You're probably laughing it up in your fucking mansion with your fucking 89 Bugatti Vairns. You can handle it. You're fine. Don't worry about it. Hey, man. If you ever want to invite me over, for real. Stop, stop. Enough to think you up. Yeah, for real. He's definitely going to fucking introduce you to his mom, dude, for sure.

Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, Sweeney, this is Jada. What do you think of her? I couldn't because I have a girlfriend, so I'd be like, oh, man, I really want to, but I can't.

Wow, so you ruined your life for no reason because now you're going to get sued by Jada Pickett Smith's lawyers. Why am I going to get sued? Because they're rich and they can. Yeah.

You can't sue. I know my rights. They can't sue me for nothing. They're going to meet to you, bro. Like, that's all they need. To me. To me. To me.

For what did I, Kingston, Kingston. Kingston, Kingston, Kingston, Kingston. What did I do, too? Kingston, Kingston, a rich white man was killed in a maximum security prison. You have no rights. Chris, I understand that, but that rich white man had information that was going to change the fucking game. The game was going to be, literally, look, we're playing right now. We're playing, we're playing Scrabble.

Epsons information would have turned this game into fucking trouble. He would have been playing trouble of fucking sorry by the time he would have been done. The world would have been entirely different. Right now with Ram trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, get a low-mile lease on the 26, RAM-1-500 Big Horn crew cab, 4x4 for $3.69 a month, for 39 months, with $4,0,000-d9 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, no security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM-572 for lease details.

Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. See country star Aaron Lewis and the state liners at Muckleshoot Casino Resort. March 24th and 25th at 8 p.m.

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I like that. I like that a lot. Scrabble to risk. Nobody knows how to fucking play risk. This shit's stupid. I've never played. Actually, we used to play risk a lot, actually. Yeah, I play risk in Monopoly.

I fucking hate. I hate playing those games on our friends because they're just, they're just fucking idiots. I remember in high school, me, me and some friends of mine would, we would go up to this friend of mine's attic. He had this weird fucking attic room, and we would just play risk for like...

There was one game that lasted, I think, like 17 hours. It was insane. Stupid. Oh, my God. Is it... Is it... Is it... It's not necessarily exhilarating,

but it's... There's something satisfying about taking control of land. That you're just like... For you, it is your fucking Caucasian skin. That's why. For you, for you, it's fantastic. I was playing this with... Jalen and other people who weren't white.

I mean, but you felt exhilarate. They were just playing the game to play the game. You were like, hell yeah. No, they were fucking trying to take my shit. Give me your land. Have you never, wait a minute, wait a minute. Have you never played risk? I played risk, but I don't really care about it.

I don't really like board games, honestly. The whole point is to take land. That's literally the whole point of risk. I know. That's why he specifically played with fucking darker, uh, dark skin people, right? You fucking, damn, bro. You fucking, you suck. I would always, you know, it's funny, I would always take America and leave the rest of the world to fight over themselves.

That's the best thing to do. Yeah, we'll be fine. America will be fine. They can't, they can't touch me. I have an ocean, but in between me and you and your stupid fucking colonies or whatever the fuck you got. Fuck off. Just take all of North America and you're fine, bro. That's what I do.

You should do that, honestly. We should just take all of North America. Fuck it. Make it one unison. I'm down. Canada? Did that a long time ago. Canada and Mexico.

And Mexico. We should do that a long time ago, man. You know how much produce Mexico makes, bro? It's insane. like a comedic amount, like insane amounts. Did you know there used to be a conspiracy theory about that? About it was going to just become like one country where we just kind of have one currency and shit

because a lot of conspiracy theories. I might have mentioned this before. There's a lot of conspiracy theories that are, they absolutely are afraid of losing their sovereignty. Because you know how Americans are. They're so proud and shit. So that like keeps coming up. Like, no, they're going to mush us all together

and then we're going to have no identity. Then they're going to control us. And then one world government. Of course it's not all it works. It doesn't work that way at all. People that think like that have no sense of self. They're defined by their fucking country, which is stupid as shit.

Yes. Because 85% of us come from lineages that aren't from here. No, I would say 98% of us are straight up not from here. No, I don't want to hear that boy. Even the people that are from here are not from here, bro. Nah, boy, I don't want to hear that boy.

I'm American-ass Americans. I literally. I fucking hate fucking stupid-ass patriot. Idiot. It's a shit makes me so fucking mad. Heritage not hate, brother. What's you talking about, boy? Heritage. I hate that argument, bro. I almost thrown hands of people for that. I win this flag. We fly

this flag because our great, great, great, great-grandpappy was a part of the Confederate Army, all right? And I feel like I should have the right. It's like, bro. Well, you do have the right. You got the right. Y'all niggas lost. Y'all don't got the rights to shit.

Put that shit up. Y'all lost. You got a fucking Laws. You guys had more land than y'all lost still. You had more land more so than just fucking laws. Suck a dick. I find the thing is it's like if you see a Confederate flag then you know like oh those are the fucking crazy people. Now we just don't know who the crazy people are because we

can't have the fucking flag around. It's like come on. That's a good point. Just leave the fucking, it's not a big deal. Let them like pretend like they I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It's a little psychotic. What? The Confederacy is the epitome of the worst. Some of the worst

this country's ever been. I agree. For me, seeing that flag is spitting in the face of all the work that so many people have done to make the life of me better, which it still is not perfect. No, I agree. So seeing that flag makes me sick. I agree. But the thing is, it's out there in the open, and now you know those people.

And now it's a signal. It's like if somebody had, I'm a murderer tattooed on their fucking forehead, you'd like, hey, watch out. That guy has a tattoo that he's a murderer. Yeah. It's like Joker. He has damage on his forehead. It's like that guy's dangerous

You shouldn't fuck with him I think that's valid information dude I mean it's useful But like I just don't want to see that I get it It's like if I had a tattoo that says I'm gonna randomly drop the N-word In their conversation

To see how you feel Like I don't think anybody really wants that That's literally a trigger warning That's pretty nice tattoo I'd love to see that though If any of fucking snarkaleptics Wanna Don't guys don't get that

Don't listen to guys I saw somebody get a tattoo of me The other day You're shit in me. I'm not even kidding. It was like, uh, it was artwork. It was like the Scott Pilgrim artwork of me with the guitar. You're fucking serious?

I'm not even joking. And I was like, oh shit, Jesus Christ. I better not get canceled. Bro. It's going to be really awkward for that guy. That's insane, bro. That's insane. I was weirded out when somebody got my face on their pillow.

I can't imagine having a tattoo. Look, look, that's fucking wild, though. I'm permanently etched on this person's arm. That's wild. Let's be, I'm going to be real, all right? I'm going to be real. 100% with you guys. I don't want anyone getting me anywhere.

I don't want any sort of memorabilia of me anywhere. I'm barely okay with the three sweet moon shirt. Like, I don't want, because I don't want, because what happens is if that person did something fucked and they had that shirt, my face is now associated with the person that did X, Y, or Z. What? That's not how that works. That's not how that works. It's not how it's supposed to work, but it is kind of how it works. You might be investigated.

No. That's how that works. That's how that works. That's actually insane. That never has never happened. Chris. Chris. Chris.

If some guy commits a mass shooting with a three sweet moon shirt on, they're going to be like, who the fuck is this guy? This guy wore this shirt to this event. Dude, it happened to PewDie Pie, didn't it? No. The guy said subscribe to PewDiePie and then he killed people. Yeah, because he said him. He mentioned.

him directly before he fucking... Chris, but if someone is wearing wearing your face, dude. No, dude. I really don't think that would happen. What, dude? I'm sure it would happen. Guess how investigations work. So if somebody walks into a preschool,

right, and they say, I'm Tom Sweening, I hate the gaze, and then explode a bomb. You don't think that they would investigate. Who the hell is Tom Sweening? I think that's different because that is directly linking the action to the phrase, to the thing that is being investigated.

But someone wearing the article of clothing. Chris, are you saying articles of clothing don't matter in investigators for people who do criminal acts? I'm not saying. I'm not. If you fuck, what?

Listen, if you had a shooter wearing a fucking Adidas hoodie, they're not going to be like, oh, I wonder what the fuck Adidas is doing. Chris, Adidas is in a fucking person.

Isn't a person, Chris? Bro, do you know how many people have shirts with people on them? Are you fucking joking? Chris, Chris, are you saying that if someone committed a criminal act with a picture of this random YouTuber's face on it, that would not raise any eyebrows or result in any kind of investigation

at all? I feel like they would be like, particularly into looking into their content. They're looking into their content to see what kind of content they have. Because when you have news, they look for any fucking reason to blow anything out of proportion anyway, to get views. So they're definitely going to use that person. I'm not saying they wouldn't. I'm saying there's no example of this ever happening.

Ever. Ever. It doesn't happen, dude. Okay, dude. I'm very much so positive to what happened. I'm so confident that there's so many mass shooters. I am confident, fucking beyond confident, that at least one of them has a fucking shirt on them at the time with someone's imagery on it.

And I'm sure for a fact that person on the shirt was not fucking investigated. because that just doesn't make sense. I don't know if they investigated much as their concept would be investigated. Like what they do and who they fuck they are might be looked into. No, no. What happens is... Most of the time that people that do stuff like that, they're dressed in dark clothing so they don't get seen when they do it. They usually dress in like, you know, things are going to help them be concealed, which is smart.

You know, good on them for what they're wearing, not what they did. What, they're not wearing anything like it. Let me clarify. All right. Hey, guys, shut up for two seconds. Chris, I need to tell you something that happened. I don't know if you remember the Dayton, uh, Dayton, Ohio show. shooter that happened and then there was one in Texas but like there was uh which one shootings that

happened so this was the the the dayton one the ohio one which which dating one uh which the one that was the one that happened last year it was uh there was there was two high profile shootings last year right one of them was in dayton all right so this is this is my whole point uh i don't know if the ban was investigated but the media made a huge stink of it because the shooter was wearing an Acacia strained shirt and they're a metal band and so it was very fucking awkward and they had to even release a statement about like what the fuck because you know they're a metal band and they sing about some interesting shit like uh but yeah there's no there's nothing that says like i i go shoot people because that's cool you know but they some of those lyrics are

pretty interesting like uh the news i'm just saying metal is the news has always had like a fucking weird hard on for like metal shit. It's metal. It's metal. It's metal. It's metal. It's rap. It's rap. It's rap. It's rap. And those are the thing. Yeah. Yeah. Those are the thing. Yeah. Those are always fuck with. But the thing is that I've said some fucking choice shit before, dude. I've said some shit that's like, yo, you got to calm down, brother. You got to you, you, you move. You got so much chip on your dip, you know? You've said shit. You've said shit today. That is arguably too much. I don't know about that. I've been kind of rated.

today. You said you would fuck Jaden's mom and break her knees. I'd fuck her to her knees break. Yeah, I said that. Yeah, I said that. Okay. I got to slow it down. I'm gonna calm down, guys. Sorry about that. Oh, shit.

I forgot where I was. I forgot who I am. I forgot who I am really. I was like, I'm chilling out right now. Break her knees. That's so fucking extreme. Right now with Ramtruck's declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees. Get a low mileage lease on the 2026. RAM,500 Big Horn crew cab, 4x4 for $369 a month for 39 months with $4,099 due at signing.

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are coming to Muckle Shoot Casino Resort. Get your tickets now to see Aaron Lewis at mucklehootcasino.com. You know, You never had, you never had some knee pain after a real good rousing. Real good rousing, never had some meat pain. By the way, if I seem angry today, it's because they revealed Splinter Cell today, and it was a fucking mobile game. That makes sense.

That's a fucking real thing that they're enjoying on purpose. So, so you also, and it's also because you haven't eaten yet, right? You're all fucking just. I had a little bit, I had like a handful of fucking honey-no chiroos. Oh, nice. Which are not, you know. That's what a growing boy needs. This is a handful of cereal.

Yeah. Look, if, look, have none of you guys ever been in a situation where you know, you had a, you had a nice thrashing, a nice, you know. Are you still on this? A nice, you know, a nice bit of coitus. And then the person that was in a doggie position, wherever it may be, I'm not the, I'm not one to judge has had really, you know, really bad knee pain. Yes, I mean, that's what they call it rug burn. Did you just call it fucking coitus? I think that's what it's called, right?

Isn't that one of the phrases? said that you actually said that word is that one of the synonyms no it's it's well it's yes but only fucking psychopath killers use that fucking term why are you kirk why are you trying to push this narrative that i'm a fucking killer i'm not pushing it you just fucking said that word no i know what i said was this phrase right and then you linked it back to psychopath killer you're the one that put that energy out there you're the only those are the only type of people that say shit like that i feel like you're general like I feel like a lot of scientists.

I'm generalizing by fucking just... So you're calling every sign that psychopath killer Derek? Fucking cancel him. He's racist. Get Derek out of here. Because everybody just says, fucking racist against scientists. Get out of here.

Get this guy out of here. He's fucking, these guys maniac. Stop deflecting, bitch. Stop deflecting. I'm not deflected shit, bro. You're so fucking deflecting, man. All you want to do is...

All you want to do is fuck, break knees and fucking kill people on fire. I'm not deflected shit. I'm wearing all black. I'm absorbing, all right? You're out of your fucking mind, right, bro. He's out of his pocket. Look, look, click, click, click, click, look.

All I'm saying is that is a very big bang theory thing to say. Oh, don't ever associate you with those fucking, oh, I almost said the N-word. I almost dropped the hard R because I felt extreme hate. You said the word. You said the big bang theory word. Coitus. I hope everybody on the big bang theory ends up in a big bang in Iraq. How about that?

All right, moving on. What do we got? What do we got on the docket today? Get the fucking questions going. I'm fucking, now I'm toasting. All right. Yeah, well, it's a bit early to start questions, but I guess we'll just do it. What else we got to talk about?

You also talk about something else? Okay, let's talk about... I don't really have anything else. I don't know. Has anything happened? Wait, let me go on the Twitter real quick. Let me go on the Twitter real quick. Let me go on the explore page to see some bullshit I can find real fast.

There's a lot of things that have happened that I'm working on a video on. So I don't want to, like, go over it again. But I know. News. Oh, the whole TikTok thing. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to talk about that in a video, but like it's basically TikTok is under threat of being banned right now by the U.S. government because

because it's a Chinese app and it handles American data and that is viewed as a national security risk. And I feel like that's ridiculous, but at the same time it's like I feel like maybe the United States, United States would know because I'm sure that we have American apps that collect data on like other countries and their citizens and their info. And we know that our collection of their data is a national security risk to them. So they probably, it's kind of like this weird like coy admittance of where they're like, oh yeah, you know. Like, look, I'm not saying I plant bombs places, but if I was going to plant a bomb somewhere, that would be where I would put it. Look, all I'm saying is we have a lot of apps like this. And, uh, there. are not allowed to have one, which is like a weird thing to say. Hey, do as we say, not as we do, man. Come on. Oh, I heard, I heard word of there apparently trying to open up Disneyland again. Oh, my God. Are you serious?

Yeah. Yeah, I heard some shit's already like kind of opening up or something. What? Yeah. Yeah, let me, let me, uh, I was hearing about that just a couple of days. So I see Disney World reopening gets mixed first reaction. Oh, no shit. I had no idea to have mixed reactions. Uh, so it's obviously Florida, so that makes sense because that is epicenter of the world for just the worst shit imaginable. I heard it was the episode.

People's thought it was epicenter for COVID-19, apparently, too. I imagine so. I mean, because everything, nothing shut down in Florida pretty much. No, the epicenter. I mean, the story, it started, bro. That doesn't make sense. Oh, well. It doesn't make sense, but like, could you imagine it came from Florida?

And it avoided affecting Americans for so long. The only, I love that it's the immediate assumption. Like, when something bad happens, it's either. China or Florida. Like, that's such a great, that's such a great societal default that we have that I don't necessarily mind. I don't know, man.

This is wild. The fact that they just, like, I saw videos actually, now I think about it, I think I repressed it because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Just a bunch of people at Disneyland with masks on, but they were like fucking shoulder to shoulder and their tongues run each other's ears and shit. And it's just like, what the fuck are you doing, dude?

Yeah, there's a, I just saw a video of um it i don't know what city was in but um my boy tarik nashid he he tweeted out my boy and there was just a bunch there's just a bunch of niggas just partying hard and there was like one security like cop or something with a mask on and nobody else and there was hundreds of people just throwing money and it was it i mean it was popping but i was like oh my god that is this is why we can't have nice things man this is why we can't get the world to go back to normal because we won't just chill out for a little while. The thing about me is this.

The thing about me is this, okay. Look, about the whole mask wearing thing, about the whole just being safe thing. Why does anyone believe that they have the right to just endanger other people's lives? If it's just what's going to happen, it's what to happen. And if you can't agree with it, then don't fucking go, like, people that go into fucking, like, I don't like the phrase Karen, because I just don't like using that shit, I think it's dumb. But like, all these people that go into fucking supermarkets, there's a market, People are like, I'm sorry, we cannot allow you in here without a mask.

And they argue, that's just the fucking rule of the place. If there's a fucking dress code somewhere and you don't come in the right dress code, you can't get in there. That's just how that works. You shouldn't argue that. It's just people opposing new things as opposed to, like, because like no shirt, no shoes, no service is a pretty fucking old school fucking saying. Like, that's like an old ass thing. You can't, there are some places that won't serve you if you're not wearing a shirt. If you're not wearing shoes, they won't serve you.

if you're not wearing a mask I would argue that that's like a more reasonable reason not to serve you and it falls under the same category of like hey this is an article of clothing that like you should probably be wearing if you're allowed in this establishment and a private business has the authority to fucking do that

just because the country is free doesn't mean that you have like that everybody has to just accept everything that you're fucking doing if I was like running into like a McDonald's with a gun you know

like they don't have an obligation to fucking they don't have the obligation to treat me like a normal person they have the obligation to probably be like I'm gonna probably call the police probably it's so weird dude and I told people that argue about wearing masks

like yo you fucking idiots like it's just oh yeah I went on a little I went on a little mini rant in one of my latest videos about the wearing mask thing and there was like a uptick of dislikes and which

Which is really upsetting that people that follow me that are like that. I'm like, God damn it. Like, how is this the, first of all, like, I made the argument that I was just, well, okay, I've always loved ninjas as I was a little kid. I actually like this shit. I was like, I look like a fucking ninja. And they're the most badass, like warriors ever. And so you can't be pussy or it's not a bitch thing to do. Number two, like, it's not, they're not fucking, I saw a TikTok of this fucking girl that has, like, all these lung issues.

and she has some thing that, like, checks her oxygen levels because that's how serious it is. And then she checked her oxygen levels with her mask on and it was still 99% oxygen. Like, it doesn't hinder your fucking breathing that much, you assholes. Like, I can wear it. You pussies can wear it too. And just kind of just showing how people are being so pathetic.

And, like, it's, yeah, it's a little uncomfortable, but you're not wearing it all day like a lot of the workers are. You're walking into a store, getting some shit, and then you're leaving. Yeah. You can go on your stupid-ass car and then take the fucking. mask off. I pretty much just put mine on whenever I'm going to go into like a like a public place or like whenever I'm going into like a business or anything. Yeah, it's just it's for me. I put it on whenever I leave my house because I don't know if I'm going to run into. I don't know if I'm

run into somebody in a tight corner of the place when I'm walking down the stairs or when I'm going into an elevator. So I wear it just to be sure. But things that people argue that oh, anything you can wear from anything that you can use a mask for you can put in your eyes you can get it too. It's like, well, first and foremost, you people have small minds because, um, Mass cover both your nose and your mouth, which are things you inhale and exhale from. So the probability of getting something in your eyes is just significantly less because your eyes don't intake oxygen like that. The whole point is... That's not the mechanism for them.

The whole point isn't that it like... It reduces. It reduces. It's a 100% failsafe. The whole point of it is that it mitigates it drastically. And it's really just more about spreading than anything else. It's for other fucking people. so you don't like you may have it you may be asymptomatic and have it and it's about you having

a mask on so it drastically reduces the chance of of you spreading it to someone else and and that's the fucking thing that pisses me off the most is that it's for other people it's so you be fucking selfless and you realize how how selfish people are yeah and it's just it's the stupidest members of every party too it's like it's like the oh yeah oh yeah it's like just these really entitled psychopaths who are just like out there being like oh it doesn't do anything and it's like It's like, are you fucking... I got into an argument on Facebook a couple weeks ago with this dude. Who was like, he messaged me on Facebook.

This dude, I never fucking met this guy. Just messages me on Facebook because I posted something about like, hey, you should be fucking wearing masks. Don't be a fucking idiot. And it was like a public thing on my Facebook. And he was like, oh, it doesn't fucking do anything. And I was arguing with him. Right now with Ram Trucks Declaration of Deals. Well qualified current FCA lessees.

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Oh, my God. No way. He's dead. He's a fucking dead man. And it's like, look, man, I tried. Like, I don't know what to tell you. Oh, my God. I would like and look, Chris.

And look, listen, hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Part of me feels really bad about it. Because, you know, he's just, he was just stupid. It's not his fault that he's stupid, technically. You know, that's education. That's a whole bunch of other shit that, like, he was just, like, manipulated and fucking

brainwashed into thinking that it was totally fucking fine. And then, bam, he's dead. But at the same. time it's just like dude I can't I fucking can't waste my sympathy for this I just can't there's a limited amount that I have and I save it for things that are worth it and I just I fucking can't I can't if you're out there intention if you're out there and you know what people's concerns are and it's like oh yeah you know like this could spread things to people who might be immunocompromised this is like a good way of

mitigating risk and you just choose to ignore it then honestly fuck off Honestly, for real, I don't care what the fuck happens to you. I'm totally fine with you gone. Well, yeah, it's like, do you have any sympathy for the people that are on live leaked shit? No. That's because they're always, they're putting themselves in really stupid situations and getting themselves killed. Like, I feel it's the same thing. Like, they're stupid.

They're not even ignorant. They're stupid because, you know, ignorance is like, oh, you don't know. People told you and you're ignoring it. Like, people told you, hey, this helps. There's fucking video circulating around of just like, hey, here's me coughing without a mask on. And here's me coughing with a mask on with, like, infrared or a scientist coughing into a petri dish and then showing you the differences and like the shit growing on it with and without a mask. They're showing you examples of like, hey, when you cover yourself, that's what I say cover your fucking mouth when you cough or when you sneeze. There's a reason behind it.

And people are just like, oh, I'm a piece of shit. I don't care. And people like say The only time I get sick Is when I'm at the gym And you know there's sick pieces of shit Working out there and then they spread it Yeah

And that's like I'm like dude You're sick, go the fuck home You're gonna get everybody else sick But they don't give a fuck And it's the same thing And that's why like I They don't They don't and that's what sucks

I'm like okay I don't give a fuck That you don't care about your life dude But like it's about other people What the fuck's the matter with you? That's fundamentally all it's about Like just don't just don't Think of it like this. If you don't give a fuck, then don't give a fuck by yourself in a fucking in your house. But don't go around other people fucking coughing and bringing other people and potentially taking other people's lives.

Yeah. Because you may not care about yourself, but like, dude, just try to be a better human for other people. Like the people going to, like, the people go into COVID parties and shit like that. It's just like, that's wild. That is just so wild. And I guess it's just like an American thing because like we're very like, first of all, first of all, no, I wouldn't even say that. I think our, we have like a very, um, well, first of all, our education is fucking garbage.

So that's, that's obviously like a fucking, a factor in this. And anybody who understands anything about the world could very clearly see that. But we also just have this kind of legacy and this very, very strong history of like not listening to the government. And it's generally, uh, generally a pretty good instinct to have, you know, generally speaking, like, the reason that we even have, like, you know, the Second Amendment in the first place and why we haven't been, like, probably overthrown by, like, some kind of corrupt leader is probably like, that's, like, a good instinct to have, except in situations like this, where it's like, oh, the government's like, hey, you know, like, there's a lot of things going on right now. A mask probably would help. Like, I know, like, a lot of people are like, oh, early on, they were telling people not to wear masks. So, like, what the fuck is that? And it's, it's a lot of, Like, well, that was because everybody was hoarding them initially. Also, yeah, because they wanted them for the workers. And also, and here's a big also, people are allowed to be fucking wrong.

I mean, that upsets me all the way down to the lowest level, even if you're a fucking YouTuber, you can say something and you have the wrong information and somebody will make this huge, long fucking video like, what a piece of shit, I can't believe. And it's like, yeah, I made a mistake. Happens. You know, it's not a hill that I would die on or something. It just, you made a mistake. These motherfuckers made them, they said, don't do it for a specific reason.

They're like, oh, that wasn't the best advice and please follow these guidelines. We're like, I can't trust them anymore. They're giving us two conflicting things. I'm like, no, they're not. They just told you what happened, and now they're telling you to do this. And it's upsetting, man. It really is upsetting because it's not supposed to be partisan. Just like you said, it's defiance of the government.

I get it. But it's just government telling you, hey, this is what you should be doing, please do this. But they only defy the government when it's like new things that the government does. like it's like if the government tells you that you can't the government tells you that like you can't be naked outside but you put clothes on it might be something that you would do regardless but it's also something that the government is telling you to do

you know so it's just just because just because the government is telling you to do something or suggesting that you do something doesn't necessarily mean it's like inherently nefarious I don't like the fucking government either I fucking hate bureaucrats and bureaucracy and all this shit I fuck if I have to see another piece of paperwork again I'm running into the mountains. I fucking hate it.

But the way that I see it is, it's like a really simple fucking mathematic equation. If I'm wrong and I'm wearing a mask for no reason, then I look kind of silly for a decent amount of time. I look kind of silly.

If the other people are wrong, then they're fucking killing people. You're endangering that. And it's like, I would, and it's like, dude, I would, I would rather, look silly, then kill people.

I think that's such a basic, I don't know. I just, I questioned very, like, immensely. Anybody who just doesn't see it that way and sees it as like a, oh, my personal rights are being infringed because people suggest. It's like, dude. My rights, brother. The South will rise again. My right to, my right to die alone in a fucking apartment building because I can't get

into the fucking hospital because I went to 16 COVID party. my right to my right to fucking get my grandparents fucking infected and die you piece of shits I can think about your lives fucking jackasses let's move on we're out of here yeah we're out of this obstacle stand I will say let me let me at least just be

let me at least be just a little bit positive before we leave I fucking I went hiking the other day and there was only one person not wearing a mask and that actually made me happy because everybody else even though it's hot as shit and there was like everything was widespread people were still fucking wearing masks

So I was like, that's cool, man. Like, these people actually give a fuck, which is weird because it's L.A. You know what I mean? Yeah, the home of people were not giving a fuck about anybody else. The people would actually give a fuck. Yeah, it was weird.

It was nice to see that. It was nice to see that. I'm actually amazed that New York managed to turn things around. It's actually fucking wild. I thought New York was going to sink. I thought it was done. Yeah, honestly.

It was going to sink. Right? Like, it may take a break, but it's going to come back. It's New York. New York is unsinkable. There's going to be one fucking block part everybody's going to fucking go to it. It's going to spike the back to fuck up.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure. It's fucking, New York. New York doesn't learn their lesson, bro. That's just the lessons of being in New York. You got like, yo, you got to have fun. That's it. Do your thing. Defeating COVID fucking party in Times Square.

And then everyone gets COVID again. Well, when you live in New York, when you live in New York, you kind of live under the constant assumption that you're going to be, you're probably going to get nuked at some point, you know, because it's like, Oh, yeah. New York is, New York is, okay. I mean, what do you mean? After 9-11, you didn't think that New York was like a prime target for war.

Like, you didn't think that at all. I never thought of that again. Actually, I was like, this happened. Like, oh, that really sucks. I hope it doesn't happen again. I never really thought about it again. It's definitely, New York is like, New York is where the money is. It's essentially the capital of the country.

Like, that city is like very, very important. And it's like the first target on anything. So like, when I was like, just living in New York, I was just like, yeah, you know, this could all be over in like 10 seconds, but like, whatever. That's why I didn't live in Manhattan. They would destroy Manhattan first. Yeah. Yeah.

That's why I'm happy I lived in the Bronx, which is pretty much right next to Manhattan, but it's not Manhattan exactly. And it's not, and I lived in the West Bronx, so it wasn't right next. No, it was right next to Harlem, which is near Manhattan. So it was close. Kingston, you're not surviving any attack on Manhattan if you live in the Bronx. Oh, no, I'm absolutely not. Everyone New York's going to get it, but I'm not right there. I'm not right smack dab in the middle.

I can see the cloud coming my way instead of it just appearing in my house. No, you can't see the cloud coming. It's an explosion. Hey man Guys I don't think The after shot I don't think the next attack I don't think the next attack

Is gonna be manmade I think because of COVID Everything that's happening I think the rats Are gonna rise up Oh can you imagine And I think the rat king Is gonna finally resurface

And be like It's this is my time Because Is this fucking The nutcracker Fucking the nutcracker You fucking idiot The rat king

No no The rat king's gonna rise This is real Like there's There's the fucking You see You guys live there You know how many rats are there

And they fucking multiplied by the millions now because nobody was killing them out in the streets and shit and all the fucking, I don't know. I just know that it's coming soon. Mark my fucking words, all right. Could you imagine New York gets fucking overthrown by fucking rats? It's that fucking moleman dude from like the Incredibles? The Underminer? The Underminer, yeah. That's such a great name.

I'm like, well, shit, we lost. I lost my family in my home. now that we've gone through like probably the most confusing gamut of emotions in the first half of this show we've got some questions from our wonderful support is over at over at patreon.com slash the snark tank feel free to support us if we haven't patronized you today sorry about that if I made fun of you I'm sorry Jaden if you want to give us a bunch of money you can give us money I won't fuck your mom I'm just kidding most of you and look if you're

look if you're one of those people and if you're one of those people who have like who are like ah you know I don't want to wear a mask listen I just care about you. I really do. I want you to be alive, you know? I don't want you fucking crawling out of a fucking sarcophagus in fucking 3,000 years when some wizard casts some kind of creepy spell. You know, I want you to be alive. All I'm saying is this.

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I get it, I got a fucking athletic mask that's hard to breathe through, but I just fucking deal with it. Yeah, that one's a bitch, too. That one is genuinely hard to breathe through. Are you talking about the the apparatus is that's supposed to simulate, like, altitude. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I have one of those, too. They're fucking definitely. Yeah, they're nice. That's what I was on the hiking with one. It was jogging and shit, and it was pretty intense. But, and, dude, I look like fucking Scorpion. Like, I don't get it. I love it.

It looks dope. I'm like, it looks like a fucking badass. And if you're homophobic, it's really gay to not wear a mask. That was the biggest force. A mask, a mask ensures that no dick will enter your mouth. That is. So think about that. You better get a mask for your asshole, too.

So it's just, think about that. Yeah, why don't you? So we've got some questions here. We'll just, we'll just jump right into them, I guess. So what is this? Ian Nixik? It looks like an Icelandic kind of name. He goes, hello, Hispanic, hidden expiria, sociopath, and last-functioning brain cells of the podcast.

If you had to choose one torture method to be inflicted on you for your war crimes against humanity, what would they be? No, you can't kill yourself. Oh, I know easy. Damn, really? They know you're going to do this. Well, that's easy. It's not even hard.

Bamboo shoots grown through my body. Perfect. Bamboo? Wait, what? Bambo shoots grown through my body. Yeah, they inspired through me. It's going through me. Like, he'd tied me down,

and they would have bamboo slowly grow up through my body. I think I could handle water. And I say that because I have an intense fear of water and drowning to the point where I would probably simply die real quick. And I would barely get tortured because I would just, I would just, I would drown. I would drown. I would drown and die. And I would probably have a heart attack also, just to keep it safe.

What am I getting hung either? What are you saying? Like from the gallows? That's dying. Like from the gallows? I don't care about dying. That's not torture. Yeah, you die.

when that happens. Oh, dude, you know it would be the worst thing ever for me? Someone tickled me. Someone just kept tickling me. That would make me lose my mind. I would turn into a feral animal, actually. That would push me to the point where I'd have to be like, I'd have to be put in a cage. That whole fucking, that whole, like, ripping your fingernails and, and toenails things off. Like, that shit really fucks me up every time. Every time it's implied, anytime it's implied or, like, suggested or like written anywhere and I read it it's just like fought me that's I've definitely written one of my toenails off before and it it hurt a lot but like I could deal with it it's not a good feeling man it hurt a lot but like I could deal with that I was like uh this hurts I

remember I bent one of my toenails like completely in half and I remember just like I I remember hobbling over to my bed and falling asleep because I couldn't I couldn't deal with it Damn, we... I had mine ripped off And, uh, of course this happened in Florida. It was, uh, I got jumped by these three backwater hillbillies at a, at a, at a, at a show. At Florida, of course. Yeah, it was a course was in Florida.

It was a long story short, I broke up a fight. These three girls beating up one girl. I thought that that's, that's fucked up. You know, it's kind of unfair. I'm always down for, you know, fist of cuffs one-on-one. Uh, and I guess I fucked up their entertainment or something. and then so they began fighting me and the adrenaline was already pumping

and so I got tossed on the ground and I guess that's when it happened my fingernail like ripped off it wasn't until like everything got like finished and I was really surprised how three people couldn't beat the shit out of me or knock me out because I was drunk and I had flip flops on

and I was really amazed but yeah after that kind of calmed down and I see blood just dripping from my finger and I was like my fucking fingernails gone It was the weirdest feeling And when it like Stop bleeding stuff It's all cold and shit

It was It was fucking disgusting Oh my god Yeah yeah I really hate that I hate that so much I got my toenail once And I was like

I can definitely deal with this And I just kept walking about Like it was normal All of them would suck Because all of them at the same time It'd be Well no It might get stale

Eventually the pain I don't know I don't know if that's really How pain works in that context Well When I broke my ribs I didn't feel all my ribs being broken, I just felt my body being like, yo, we gotta fix this somehow.

You stay right where you are. Yeah, but that's like one, that's like an instance of pain that's like, that is like consistent over a long period of time. It's not like you're being inflicted with new like spikes of pain every so often. You know what I mean? It's like a very different thing. Yeah. I feel like eventually when you just get to a certain threshold, your body, like I, we can't

do this right now. oh yeah they'll definitely uh you pass out from pain you probably you gotta go into shocker i feel like it just renews i feel like it just renews the pain in in like a different area it's it's almost like when people like whenever like uh if you have like a migraine or like an intense headache and you're like oh my god my fucking head is exploding and then like you get like physically hurt somewhere else it's like suddenly like the headache doesn't really bother you that much but now it's like all like in like wherever you got hurt because that's like if you get stabbed and like you get stabbed and like you're in a lot of pain we're getting

sad and you get stabbed somewhere else it or hurt and then you might just pass out. Because if you get hurt a lot, you just turn off. That's true. That's the idea of getting, like, punched a bunch. You get punched one place. You're like, ah, that hurt.

You get punched against somebody. And then you get punched the last time and you just knock the fuck out. Yeah, especially since, like, a lot of times the best reaction is to, people stop doing stuff to you once you're, like, lifeless, once you're limp. So that's, like, the best defense to just shut down

because usually people are done doing whatever it is they're doing to you. It's kind of like, say, I always like And this kind of lends into the whole torture thing Like the worst thing that could happen to me is like Just a really beautiful girl like just suck in my dick So she's like doing it so bad Or so good and I'm like oh and I just passed out

It's just too overwhelming for me you know So that's that I guess that would be my torture as well I hate you Shut the fuck up Shut the fuck up I would prefer not to be tortured But I would prefer to be tortured in a way that would kill me really Really quickly

If I found you passed out I would fucking pogo stick your knees till they turned into fucking paste. Do you have a fucking pogo stick, you stupid fucking clown? I'll fucking get one to pogo stick your fucking knees. You would destroy a pogo stick. Probably.

Pogo sticks are meant for children. Not exactly. Okay. Let's move on. There's definitely adult pogo sticks, you fucking, like scooters are meant for children too, you jackass, but there's scooters that adults can use. Also, I've seen bears on a scooter.

What? I have, actually. I've seen videos and shit like that And I don't know if it's real or not Actually scooters Scooters are now adult things Because they have that app made for like Remember the bird scooters or whatever the fuck

Are they still around? No, what the hell is that? What? The scooters that people use? Yeah, you don't remember the birds? Those scooters that people would like, it was like Uber but for scooters and people would scan them and they would Oh yeah, yeah, okay

Those are fucking heavy duty though Those are like fucking dumb shit Fucking scooters Anyway They're in the street and shit like that Just get off the street bro You shouldn't be here I'll be real

I haven't seen one of those in a long time. I don't know what... You also haven't really been outside for a long time. I either, just be told. No, but even... That's true, but even before quarantine, I remember, like, I remember, like, distinctly not seeing many of them.

Uh, I don't know. Maybe they, maybe they went extinct. Maybe the homeless built tents out of them or something. They built, like, a fucking scarab. Can you imagine a homeless of L.A. have a scarab? And they just fucking reveal it against the fucking American government. I can't do that right now. What the fuck, dude?

I can't deal with a homeless scarab right now. We got to move on. We got to move on. Some random dude wrote in. It says, Sween, Chris, and Derek, have you seen anything about the Goya controversy and how conservatives are eating beans to own the lives? Oh, my God.

So did you guys hear about this? I saw Trump tweet out, I love Goya products, nigger. And I was like, what is that? I don't even know what that is. Goya is a very Hispanic, very Hispanic thing. They make like beans and grains and like a lot of cooking stuff, like sauces and like seasonings and all sorts of shit. And basically like their CEO or like their president was like, I support Trump or whatever the fight.

I don't know what the fuck he did. He's like, I don't know. Hey, wepa. I don't know. He said, he basically said like, he basically said like, he. that he supports Trump and there was like a huge boycott going. So of course, uh,

the conservatives do the thing where they're like, they pretend like they've always, uh, cared about this. And they do the self-indulgent. Now, I've always loved goya beans, particularly the chickpeas, all right?

The black beans are not quite my style. But fuck you, lips. I'm gonna eat these beans and I'm gonna fart up a fucking storm and you can't do anything about it. All right. Now go fucking, you fucking,

you fucking antifa pieces of shit. Fuck you guys. Look, all I'm gonna say is like, uh, what's that? Don't do this fucking. shit where you're just like, you remember when like straws when they were like trying to,

trying to disincentivize like plastic straws and like introducing paper straws. And like people went on Fox News and plunged a bunch of plastic straws into a steak. And we're just like, ooh, look at me. I'm owning the libs because I'm drinking a steak. You look stupid as shit. This is a real thing that happened, by the way. This is, I'm not even making this up. Oh, I don't doubt it. And it's just like, stop. It's cringe. It's, it's dumb. If you, if you didn't support the product before don't just do it for no fucking reason or for fucking social media brownie points

and if you genuinely have a problem with like the CEO and his fucking political stances then just fucking stop supporting them if you feel that's right I cannot for the life of me even fathom not using Goya in anything

I'm so so reliant on that brand for all the food that I make and all the shit that I love. They make the best fucking manzania olives like in the fucking world. Like, I didn't understand how people didn't like olives. Because I love olives so much.

And I was like, how do you not like olives? And then I had normal not goya olives. And I was like, oh. Right now with Ram Trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees. Get a low mileage lease on the 2026. Ram,500 Big Horn crew cab, 4x4 for 369 a month,

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close the deal with you, and hand the keys to you. They bring you home. Realtors are members of the National Association of Realtors, right by you. I understand. Well, for me, they make adobo, I'm pretty sure. They make a dobo and I can't give up on dobo and sason. They make adobe and sason.

So, like, you're fucked. Like, if you're Hispanic, you're fucked. Like, you're not going to boycott them. I'm sorry. Like, it's just not going to happen. All your grandmothers are going to have to relearn how they cook. It's not going to happen. It's over.

Yeah, I don't really know, like, a lot of Mexican brands. I just, like, there's just joints that I go to. So I don't know if they're using those products or something or not. The thing is that, like, goya is not really Mexican. Goa is more Caribbean? Yeah, it's Spanish. Is it more of, is it more of, like, a East, East thing? It's the Caribbean.

It's like if you, if you're from like Puerto Rico, Cuba, Costa Rica, fucking, um, anywhere where that water is. Yeah, like below Florida, that is people that use like Goy and stuff like that. Yeah. It's,

I can't get, I can't give, I can't get up that shit. I can't. I'm sorry. I've, I'm fucking, I'm using Goya before I could use anything else.

It's like a good pizza place or like Gus's famous fried chicken where it's like, if I found out genuinely that the, the, the Gus of Gus's famous fried chicken, hated me personally and was using his company actively to try and take me down

I would I don't know I don't think I would stop I would because like that's direct No man even that's what I'm saying Even if it was direct like that I feel like I would be like listen man I don't want you to hate me

but I love this food I'm going to gonna eat here. Like, I'll fight you. I'll fight you, but like, I'll eat here. The reality is you can't taste hate, all right? Like, that, that, that, that transcends. That, like, if good food is good food. And so there's a lot of things that we overlook because of that. But with this whole fucking weirdo Trump thing, all that stuff that's going on, I feel like it's like a chicken and egg kind of argument because when I looked at that tweet, I saw a lot of the same people that have his tweets on notifications

shitting on Goya and saying I'm never eating this shit again or whatever and I'm wondering which came first Were the conservatives being like Oh this is the greatest shit ever Or were liberals being like Oh this is the worst shit ever I'm sure it was both it

I'm sure it was instantaneous I'm sure it was instantaneous I'm sure the second Trump was like I love Goya some fucking Both sides were created Some dude in a maga hat started coming in his own math And being like I need a dobo for my comeo Oh

And like fucking everybody who fucking hates him just like, it was immediately like, well, that's enough for me. I've never had a fucking, I don't even know what a dobo is, but like, I'm certainly never going to have it. Dude, that's what happened with Chick-fil-A, though. You remember when the CEO was like, oh, I ain't down for gay marriage because I'm Christian, obviously. We don't have our thing open on Sundays so we can go to church.

What the fuck did you expect? And then a bunch of conservatives and Christians were like, well, fucking, I never used to eat here because who gave a shit. And then now it's like the greatest place on earth. Now it's just as packed as in and out. It is. I was like, what the fuck? And that's another thing.

That's another thing, man. It seems like it does the opposite. I feel like when you draw attention to like the fucking boycott, especially I feel like boycotts in and of themselves are fine, but I feel like they're also kind of antiquated because the concept of a boycott existed in a pre-internet era where like all stores or most stores are really, really dependent on their small communities and word of mouth. Um, but now it's like, if you're like, I'm gonna boycott Goya. That's like, that's just advertising Goya really. And like you're just, and you're just kind of, and these companies are like shipping like across the fucking world.

You know, I'm sure there are people in, I wouldn't even be surprised if there were people in fucking Japan using fucking Goya shit. That wouldn't even surprise me. And it's like, what are you doing? Like, you're not really doing anything. Just if, if you personally believe that like, oh, I don't want my money going to this place, that's fine. I, I, I, I think, that's a totally reasonable stance, then just fucking don't do it. But I just don't see the point

because I just don't think there's any real way to ethically consume anything. All of your computers are built by Taiwanese children in a fucking Foxcon building. All of your video games are developed

by people who are like really underpaid in being like fucking work like workhorses. All your fucking, you know, all your foods are being processed

by companies that fucking get their money from God knows how many fucking children are being sold on a wayfar I don't know man

there's no anything that you have is in your possession because of very very unethical beans and the sooner you get to realize that it's like all right well there are things we need to do

to change that there's political action that you can take but at the same time it's like dude I'm not gonna unseason my fucking chicken it's too late

it's too late I've already consumed so much this medium, it's too late. Fuck it, you know? Yeah. It's like when I found out, it's like if you find out that like hot dogs are like, did you know that fucking hot dogs are fucking pig brains and

fucking elephant toes? And it's like, oh wow, it's kind of wild. They taste really good. They taste really good. And I've had millions of them at this point. So I don't know if I'm really, I don't know if this really sways me. Like, I remember I had somebody being like, did you know that they put cat food in fucking hot dogs? And it's like,

it's fucking good cat food, man. Like, I don't know. Like, I'm not going to stop. just because I know this now. All I know is, if anything, now I just have it in my head that cat food is delicious. So now I have to wrestle with that. If it's more direct, you know, if it's like, hey, the, I don't know for me. I think there's a line for me eventually, but it's got to be something like wild.

Yeah, yeah. I'm sure. Like, turns out the leader of Adobe, the person that makes Adobe is actually the research of the third, research of the Ku Klutz clan. I'd be like, whoa, that's kind of insane. Yeah, yeah. Maybe I don't want to do this. but also, what am I going to season my chicken with?

If the CEO of Goya was like, I, eh, Jeffrey Epstein, he's a good, good amigo, bien, bien, amigo, and like all this fucking, he speaks in garbage Spanish. Yeah, like, what if, what if Goya was fucking catered on that fucking Petro Island? What if that was what they served? Well, the great thing about that is, I already have all the adobo that I could possibly need,

but, you know, Maybe, like, if I found out something like that, I'd probably be like, all right, well, maybe I'll buy less. I'll be like, I don't know what I would do. I'd be like, man, that's really unfortunate. But, like, I hope they take that guy out, but also, like, maybe I'll just not buy it as often. Or I'll just rely on my stockpile. We have, I genuinely have, like, I think eight. It's like an insane number, right?

It's like eight or, like, seven. It's like six large boxes of adobe. Yeah. Like large bottles. I guess they're round. Yeah, yeah. Bottles of adobe. You're fucking doomsday pepper? What is this? No, we just like, we know we need adobe.

We all cook with adobe. I'm going to cook tonight and I'm going to use adobe. It's good shit. I have to. Anyway. What else would I use? Just fucking regular seasoning salt? Fuck you.

I mean, they're... Fuck, I want to make chicken now. All this talk about going is making me want to cook shit. Oh my God. Let's move on to this little pretty baby boy over here. Hey, easy Epstein.

Easy, easy, Epstein. Groggy Dog rode in. He says, Hello, Chris, Derek and Sween the alien killing machine. Yes, damn, Skippy. Do you have any stories of dealing with shitty customers while working? I don't think I have an experience of dealing with...

I think all of my customer experiences are negative. Oh, oh. Oh, I have ample. Oh, I have ample. I have ample. You can't not work and not have shit experiences. I worked in California.

People in California are just kind of shitty to begin with. I've also worked in the upper middle class area in New York, which is full. Right now with Ram trucks declaration of deals. Well qualified current FCA lessees. Get a low mileage lease on the 2026. Ram,500 Big Horn crew cab four by four for $3.69 a month for 39 months with $4,000. $4,000,000, due at signing. Tax, title.

License extra, no security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM, 5722 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which you're

is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboarded years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident. Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show.

Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. I love a bunch of shitty people, too. I can tell you. You want to go first, Chris? I can go on for hours, actually. You go on. Pick a one good one. One good, juicy. All right. All right. All right. All right. So this one time, this one time, this lady, of course, a Caucasian woman walked in a Starbucks and she was having a bad day already and I could tell, you know, you could smell it on somebody. You can tell by the way they're looking around, by the way they're acting, just there with their body language, you tell somebody's having a bad day, you know? She walked in and I was like, hello, what can I get for you? She was like, I want to get a medium dark roast.

And I was like, oh, I'm sorry, man, we actually cut dark roast earlier in a day because we don't sell very much of it. He was like, I stopped. Starbucks coffee that doesn't sell a dark roast. What is this? This guy's, this fucking ridiculous. You guys, you guys are completely incompetent.

And I was just looking at it. I was like, oh, okay? Do you want the regular medium rose? I can't make you dark roast. And she got so mad. She talked to my manager.

And I went to the back and she was so angry. I started laughing at her because it was so unrealistic. But I kept laughing and I couldn't stop. And they wanted me to apologize to her. So I went and I apologized. But I was laughing. still. And I was, they were like, they were like,

Kingston, you have to stop laughing. I was like, I can't. She's so stupid. I can't stop laughing at her. She's so dumb. And then she got even angrier. She's like, what's your name? And I was like, my name is Kingston.

It's like, I'm going to report you to corporate. And I was like, honestly, lady, do you want me to call them for you? You're going to sound stupid. They're not going to do anything to me because you're just, you're just angry for no reason. And she got so mad. She fucking yelled. She started screaming in the middle of the store and walked out And I literally had to go to the bathroom

It almost peed my pants I couldn't stop laughing at her It was like it was it was like watching it was like watching a freaking baby Try to fight an adult it was just fucking comical It's like watching a bunch of mid just do an obstacle course It's like this is this fucking funny I apologize to any of our little people I'm sorry little people my apologies that's very insensitive of me Yeah that was insensitive not the

not the overall thing of what you just said. No, the doors don't give a fuck. They're fine. But I... They don't give a fuck. They're fine. You have more... You have more...

You have more retail experience than I do. I just worked at Sears for about a year. And that was like pretty much... And I worked at GameStop for like a day before I got fired. But... The... The only thing that I can really remember was this woman was trying to buy a cardboard display. of like a...

In Sears, they used to... Not anymore, because they're bankrupt and they don't put any effort into anything that they do now. But, like, back in the day, when I was working there in, like, 2012 or something, where they were still, like, really not doing well, uh, they would have these, like, extravagant kind of, like, cardboard displays, and they would, like,

they would be, like, over certain shelving to just see, like, oh, here, here's a craftsman display or whatever. And I guess somebody who was filling in the price tags the day before me, kind of had an extra one that was like 69 cents or something and he just kind of to get rid of it he put it on the back of the display and some lady was like oh this has a price this is 69 cents I want this she wanted a fucking craftsman display and I remember she came up to me and she was like excuse me where do I go to purchase this and I remember being like you can't you can't buy that that's this that's a that's a display

that's for the store ma'am and she was like but there's a price to tag on it, if there's a price tag on it that means it's for sale. And I was, I just, I just, and I just remember being like, no, because the barcode on that isn't even what that is. You're probably buying like like, like, for 69

cents, it's probably like a fucking, like maybe an individual drill bit. I can get you a drill bit. She was like, no, I want the display because it's got the title on. It's got the price tag on. It's like, I, man, you don't want this. It's a huge, cumbersome piece.

of cardboard with products printed on it, and it's not for sale. You don't want it. And I remember she was like, I want to speak to your manager. It's like, there's no manager here who will agree with you, I promise you. Don't waste your time.

Buy what you came here to buy and leave. This was like, this was towards the end where I was like, I really didn't care about like whether or not it was going to get fired or not because I was just like, I was so done. And I just remember the manager came over and his name was Brian.

I don't ever forget, he's like, well, that's the problem. He's so dark. What's that? What's the problem? And she was like, this man won't sell me the display. And he was like,

bitch, leave. That's a display. Get out. He was like the best manager ever. I fucking loved him. But we were all just fucking over it. Like, we were all ready for the company to just go under.

So I think none of us really cared. I know what type of person she was. She was the one, she didn't have anything specific she wanted to buy. She was always looking for the best deal. There's those shoppers that just come in the stores. I hate people like that. Oh, or when people like go up to the fucking register and they're like,

and like it's not scanning or something and it's like, I guess it's free. I guess it's free. I fuck my dick. I just like, shut the fuck up, you fucking tramp. I'll fucking stomp your, man. Oh, man. Ooh, ooh. Oh.

Let's fucking scan your fucking brain with this fist. I can't scow. I'll fucking scalp you and scan that bitch. How about that? You fucking. I did use to, uh, I did used to print fake prices, though, for things. Who wouldn't do that?

Because you had the opportunity to make your own labels and print them out. So I wrote, like, I remember this one label that I printed, and I put, like, on an empty shelf that was never stocked with anything. I said it was just my name for sale for $7.25 because that was like my minimum wage at the time. Oh, yeah. You know what I've done before? The most fucked up thing ever I've ever done. I remember this.

One time I got really mad when I was at Starbucks in New York. And I was having such a bad day that I went to the back and I moved all of the box that if anyone touched any of the boxes, they all would fall. And I left. I fucking literally, I literally did that. That was one of the most fucking spiteful, vindictive things ever done in my life because I'm just not a spiteful guy. It's not really what I do. And like, I was like, I fucking hate this place so much. I went there and I fucking, like, it took time.

Like, I was getting yelled. I'm like, where are you kinks? So we need the fucking milk. And I'm like, yeah, one second. I'll get your milk. And I'm just back there fucking. Just fucking creating this fucking doomsday scenario. Maybe we're going to have to deal with.

And I fucking left. And I was like, all right, bye guys. You just made like a Jenga Tower, Rube Goldberg machine in the fucking back, just so people would have a cumbersome thing to deal with? And someone was like,

oh my God, yesterday we went to get all the fucking, we went to get the sugars, and all the sugars fell out of the boxes. And I'm like, wow, man. It's almost like somebody cut the bottom of those boxes so they all fall on the ground.

And someone let all, and fucking lean the cabinet off to the side. That's fucking crazy. You cut holes? I cut holes in a box So when they'd fall Oh, that is That is extra

That's like work That's like putting together A piece of IKEA furniture You cut a hole in the boxes I cut holes in almost all of the boxes That is We had no sugar We had no sugars

Everything was fucked up All the coffee was on the All the coffee bags were on the floor Just so people had to go down And pick them up Because I was so fucking angry I remember I remember one time

It was when we were still living in Glendale and we were looking for a new place. You remember that great place that we saw, like the big place with like the staircase? Yeah. We were on lock for that great apartment. It had like three parking spaces. It was like huge.

It was basically a house. It was fucking awesome. It had a back, it had like a patio. It was like I was so excited to get in there and it was so cheap and I was like, I want this apartment real bad. And the people we were talking to were like, oh yeah, you know, you have priority notice.

So like if anything happened, happens with the apartment, you'll be the first to know. And you have first dibs on the signing. And it was like, great. So, like, I went home. I gave everybody the paperwork. We signed everything. And then I called them up about where to drop the paperwork off. And they were like, oh, sorry, we sold the apartment. Right now with Ram trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, get a low mileage lease on the 26. Ram,500 Big Horn crew cab, 4 by 4 for 369 a month, for 39 months, with 4,099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra. No security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM, 5722 for lease details.

Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one.

20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law,

from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. And I remember just being so overcome with rage and I knew how to get in the building because we had seen the apartment before and I knew all the codes and everything. And I remember being like so overcome with rage

that I took like several small hand towels and threw them in a bag and I was ready to walk to the apartment to flood it and I remember this was genuinely something that I was set to do and I walked out I walked into the elevator I walked outside of the apartment and I was like wait

this is a crime but I was fucking dead set like I was so fucking furious that they would just you get corrupted by your anger bro That's crazy. I didn't do it. You were close.

You fucking never went to the dark side, bro. I was, I wasn't really close. Like, I was like 30% of the way there. I wasn't really close. I was just about to do it. But I wasn't really close. I just left my house with intent to do it. I wasn't sitting.

I wasn't like in the apartment, like, with the faucet ready and the rag ready to clog the dress. Like, I wasn't there. Like, I just walked outside of the building. Outside of our building, it was like, okay, wait a minute. I should probably calm down. I think I just calm down on like the way down. but like I was I was so furious

that they would just fucking lie to me like that because that happens so much when you're looking for apartments here too like our first foray into like just looking for a fucking apartment was hellish like you would just talk to people and they'd be like yes yes

there would be people who like wouldn't speak English and they'd be like oh they would give me the paperwork I would sign it I would come back the next day and then they would tell me like oh yeah the apartment's been sold it was sold a week ago classic and it's like why would you show me the apartment today

give me paperwork if it was fucking sold a week ago. Classic. There's always a reason. There's always like, oh, you get bonuses for how many people you walk through the apartment, whatever. Yeah, it's just

bullshit. And I remember just, I just remember dealing with so much of that and I was just like, that was like the, it broke me. And I was like, no, fuck off. If I, if I don't have this apartment, the apartment's going to be destroyed. Yeah, I mean, that's retribution. I'm with it. No one will. Dude, retribution is sweet.

I'm with it. I'm with that totally. I did calm down, though, so I did not commit any crime. didn't flood any house. That's very nice of you, man. Wow, how noble of you not committing a crime? Jeez, Chris. We should have a fucking Chris day. Hey, man.

At least I didn't set up some kind of grand experiment to inconvenience people who did nothing wrong to me. Yes, the fuck they did. That's why I was so fucking mad. They wronged me sometime throughout the years, and I got back at them. All right, whatever. Nikki Ziggie wrote in. She says, sup Keith, David, Keith, Keith, David, and the idiot Keith. David that doesn't think animals have empathy.

It always, it's always a pleasure listening to you fuck's dick around for an hour or two. Time out. Time out. Who said animals? Did I say that? That was me, I think. Was it,

wait. Wait, no, I think it was you about cats, man. Cats are barely animals. Fuck cats. Wait, who was it that said that? I think it might have been you.

I think, I remember, wait, I don't remember who it was. No, it was one of you two. I know that for sure. I know I said kids don't have empathy.

kid, too. But I'm not, we're not rehashing the argument. I'm just trying to say, like what we said. I think we're talking about cats specifically. Well, cats fucking suck dick, and they'll eat you very quickly. So, yeah, if you said that to me, fuck you, you dumb bitch. Oh, no, I said, I definitely said animals don't have empathy because I was like that they eat each other and they fucking do all this crazy shit and they don't cry. Or something I don't know.

They don't have tears. Oh my God, let's go. That made me so mad. Let's go. Let's just keep going. That's not what I said, but it was something like that. I don't know. Anyway, she says, uh, it's always a place.

listening to you fuck's dick around for an hour or two, especially while I'm working. My question for you is, if you've ever had an outrageously unpleasant experience, meeting someone who you looked up to or admired, whether that person be actually famous or part of the YouTube community, stay salty. I don't know. I don't know if I've met anybody and had like a really negative experience. I've had I've met someone but I didn't idolize or look up to them or anything I'll keep their name out of it

but at VidCon we had our you know we had the what he called the Airbnb and this one guy he was the only guy that I didn't know and I was just meeting him for the first time and he was just so

fucking unpleasant he was just such a dick because oh we're all I guess kind of this this we're this part of YouTube that are all like edgy and shit, you know, we're all fucking edgy or something and he doesn't like this and he's all

kind of righteous and it was bad vibes. I fucking hated this dude. And I've never, I've never experienced that before from at any other point in my life of like meeting someone. I'm like,

this person's just a colossal dick, like holy shit. But yeah, that was, it was really weird and there's probably people that were at VidCon would absolutely know

who the fuck I'm talking about. But I'm just gonna leave it at that. Yeah, there are people that I've met that, don't talk to anymore for sure, but like I don't think I've never, I've never met somebody from like content creation spheres or YouTube and had like a, an outwardly negative experience. Like I feel like it's always been pretty positive.

Even like when I meet people outside of VidCon, it's like the numerous occasions that I've like met Ethan or like Ian or fucking any, it's always been pretty positive. So I don't know if I have any really good examples. I feel like maybe No, I'd have to like really stretch to even think Yeah, I was trying to think of something Like even some people that seem like the biggest piece of shit Like Joey Salads

I've met Joey a few times And he was absolutely pleasant Like really It's just like it's kind of weird how some people Kind of have this online persona Where they really kind of tarnish their reputation And behind the scenes are kind of just regular I will say

and this isn't necessarily that I had a negative experience with this person. But, and I won't name names, but I'm sure astute listeners can probably figure out who this person is. But we had an Airbnb for VidCon, and we had a room that was taken by somebody who nobody knew in that Airbnb but me. And I vouched for the guy, and he took the room, and he was kind of a car. colossal asshole. He wasn't talking anybody. I remember, like, the last day, like, he left and didn't say anything to anybody.

He had people pay for his vacation. A lot of just, like, really annoying things. Are we talking about the same person, or no? Wait, no, I don't think we are. I don't think we are, actually. I don't, I don't think we are. Is that a regular occurrence that people do shit like that? No, it's not. It was, that's the thing. It stood out so drastically,

like, Nerd City was talking to me about it, and he was like, yeah, we brought him to fucking Disneyland and then he just ghosted us. And it's just like, I don't know. I'm sure any detectives can figure out who it is, but that was, that was, I'd never had a negative experience with him personally, but that was certainly interesting to see. But I think we should just move on before it gets fucking drama. No, more fucking tea.

No, no tea. This isn't a tea cast. Come on, man. I want to overtake the fucking beauty community. They're all imploding. We should do like makeup and shit. Oh, yeah, we should not. No, we should not.

Shut the fuck up. Yes, we should, man. No, the fuck we're not. You guys can do it. I ain't doing it. Fuck y'all. We should all do blackface. What are you?

What are my homopholes? I just don't want to do me. Because you don't like makeup. Oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah. Why are you so opposed to it? Because I don't want to do makeup.

I don't like makeup either. But I like being a millionaire. Kingson. Kingston, do blackface. I was born that way. No, but wouldn't it be amazing if you did blackface? I don't know how I can do backface. My face is already black.

Black face is in reference to the fact that you don't have a black face, but you put a black face on. Should I put an actual black face on like the color black? Yes. Like my hair? Yes. I'll do that. Like shoe polish. I'll ask Gabby to fucking make me up as a fucking actual black skinned creature.

Oh my God Honestly, there's so much money in makeup And it's honestly, it's just a bunch of fucking whale sperm That they fucking lather on their fucking faces To feel like less... Oh my fucking God, that was so disrespectful But continue it. Is it, am I fucking wrong?

Maybe it's not whale sperm. Maybe it's like whale blubber or whatever the fuck. It's like whale something. That might be right. The blubber might be right. It's like shark eyes or fucking piranha penises Or whatever the fuck they're doing. Whatever the fuck their women are lathering on their faces

And men too. only women anymore. It's men as well. I mean, yeah, but we don't need it. Yeah. Well, James Charles is making that shit pop, man. Yeah, James is making the money. That shit is insane. He has a deceptively nice ass for a man. Like, I was like, what?

Okay, let's go. I was like, what the fuck? I was like, why you got all that ass? And it fucking, you would do with all that ass? Like, what's up with you? Like, you think it's funny? Just walk around with that fucking making me confused? All right, all right. James Charles is definitely a Decepticon, man It's pretty wild Definitely God damn

I have a joke I want to use so bad But I stand Sweeney's Magic ween And he said Hello you three purveyors of all that is evil I have a hypothetical question for you Due to the weird Due to weird legal contrivances

You are now the unquestioned dictator Of a country of your choice What is your first act as supreme ruler and how would you make the rest of the world your bitch I wouldn't extreme extreme

pollution of the oceans You just dump everything in the oceans and kill the planet Yes just kill everyone Awesome Fuck well not At first I don't know I'd be like hey

My first thing would be like hey We're gonna we're gonna We're gonna do democracy We're gonna democracy right And we're gonna actually have people's votes Mattering We're actually gonna have Like very concise education

and then I'm like, all right, guys, I'm out of here. I don't really want to be led to dictators because usually we get killed. I don't want to get killed. I'm going to go off on a private jet. That's it. The first thing, I feel like the first thing I would do is be like, I would be like, hey, every ticket you get from here on out is based on your income. So just think about that.

Every fine would be based on your income? Every fine is based on your income. So if fucking Jeff Bezos gets like a traffic ticket, he's paying like $40 billion. dollars or something because that's fair honestly I think that's fucking fair like you can't have like a law that like

is you know malleable by money and then it basically just means that the law only works for the poor people or it only works against the poor people and then fucking Justin Bieber can go around fucking drunk driving and just pay fucking what like $200 and fucking get off

yeah I hear what you're saying that's why like people that are rich can they just get you know speeding tickets all the fucking time and it doesn't matter. They're above the law, literally. I have another thing. Everybody that's below 5'4 foot 3 would be shipped away to a different country.

4 foot 3? 5'3. They'd be exiled. Dan, I just barely made the cutoff there. Jesus Christ. I'm thinking of you. I'm thinking of you. That's why. What about women who are just like 5'2? My girlfriend's not 5'3, but I'm sorry, you got to go. We don't want that.

We don't want that, no more that tiny shit in the gene pool, right? 52 is such a fucking cute size. It's like a perfect woman's size. No, it's not. It's fucking pee-wee people's size. It's not pee-wee people-size. It is. It's not to me, anyway. I'm a foot tall. Swinie doesn't want to break his back while he's trying to kiss the fucking broad.

I get it. Right now with Ram Trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees. Get a low mileage lease on the 2026. Ram, 500 Bighorn crew cab, 4 by 4 for 369 a month for 39 months, with 4,00099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra. No security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM, 5722 for lease details. requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify.

Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man.

Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.

And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from yourself. phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365.

Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. I don't like, I don't, I don't, why can't people just all be fucking tall? This guy's like trying to do some fucking, uh, some Greek shit where you just call everybody and make everyone like warriors and perfect and shit. I'll be honest. I don't, if I, if, if I was offered. Like, if, like, Norm MacDonald, as the genie from Fairly Odd Parents came up to me, it was like, hey, you got to wish or something. I, I wouldn't wish to be tall. I wouldn't wish to be taller either.

Being tall is fine. Being tall is fine. Your height is always fine relative to your life. You're just fine with it. You've been that height your whole life. No, but it's just, it's just, well, you're not as tall as you are your whole life. It's just not what happens. Yeah, but your height has been your relative.

Like, you're just fine with it. You just exist in this space to exist. I think I've just, I think I've just gotten to the point where it's just like. Like, everything is bigger for me. Like, I just, I have a bigger room. I get on a plane and I always have leg room. You're not, this is sick, honestly. The leg room thing is fine, but that's usually the legroom thing is a problem with like six foot plus people.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't think like, if you're in the five foot region, you ever have to like, oh, I could use more room. I think it's like, all right. Dude, honestly, I'm five foot. I'm five foot four. And I'm like, every time I get on a plane, it's like. even I feel like if I don't get like the even more space thing I feel fucking I feel restricted I feel like fuck this is like not a lot of room I mean you just you're just

fucking boozy and you need to fly five five first class like that I don't fly for I don't fly for no you need to I'm saying you need to because if you think that there's not like I don't man I'm fucking I I'm I'm I keep to myself I'm fine uh I don't I I don't like people sitting next to me but if if fucking you know it's like he on his plane where they have to be yeah that That's gross to me. That's the reason. That would be the argument for me doing like first clash or something. You're calling me,

bougie and you don't even want to sit with your common man? Then I'm a common man. I have no problem sitting next, like say, the last flight that I took when I was coming back from New York, I sat next to two women because I was in the third row. I was in the middle. And I was on the left and there was two women next to me. They smelled very nice and they're very pleasant.

Perfect. I think going to New York, there was a guy in sweats that had, fucking bad breath sitting next to me. So that's like the thing that really, it's like that gamble. That's the only thing that annoys me. If everybody just had common courtesy,

hey, brush your fucking teeth, maybe have some mouth wash, put some deodorant on. Don't take your fucking shoes, your socks off or anything. You know, and then we're good. We're fine.

What I always do... Don't like beat off and then come in my lap. Like, that's real fucked up, dude. What I always do, I actually did this once and it worked, but like I always... You came in someone's lap? No, no, hold on.

I've only done this once and I've always been scared to do it again because I always thought it was like a fluke and I feel like I'm gonna get thrown off a plane if I'd do this again. But like I remember like this dude was sitting next to me on a plane. Like I got on the plane like first because I was like I want to get this fucking over with.

And then he sits next to me and he's like, I don't even know how to describe it because he's just like the most unappealing human being I've ever seen. Just like he was hideous. He smelled terrible. He's the annoying voice. Fucking took up a lot of space.

So I had the window seat and what I did was I just started shaking like kind of like violently. a creepy like a, like a gollum. And I just remember just like snorting and making a lot of like disgusting like guttural noises. But like silent enough that he would just barely hear me just to know something was up, but like it would seem like I was hiding it. And he, he fucking, he got up. He got up and he never, he never sat down again.

I assume he like asked for a seating change. Oh no, this guy is crazy. this one's broken we gotta get out of here I need another slate it was really I will say like I was really I was really fucking disgusting about it

like I was I was that's good I was really playing it up but uh I hate I hate that shit man looks going back to the going back to the the dictator shit see I would be what you would call a benevolent dictator

because I would be very fucking strict but it's just zero tolerance for shit like that like for not what you did Chris because I understand it was a defense it's for people that would cause you to do that shit immediately like if you're on the plane you would be tossed out of the plane if you were just like fucking if you stank if you're like like those motherfuckers that are just farting

and like just stink they just don't give a shit because they're like oh cares I'm just fucking plain it's my it's my stench it's not so bad it'll go away in a little bit like they'd be ejected out of their seat immediately so your first so your first order of business would be to install escape pods or like ejection pods in planes. Yes, and then, but the captain is control of it. So you don't just get, you know, like, you can't just have somebody like, I don't like the way that guy looks and then have you ejected.

So they have to be like, all right, this guy is. Where's the fun? What if they put it up? What if it's like a, what if it's like a, like a multiplayer lobby where you got to vote on who? Vito him, veto that motherfucker. Send him out. It's not, we can't see. we can't try it we can't that's too much power wrong people are going to get hurt just but you're gonna give

all the power to one guy the one guy that's flying a plane that's a lot of power one dude to have we'll see it's a lot it is but this is why we have very strict honest people that are flying this stuff and they're not the ones that like i crave this power because you're not going to get the fucking job you're going to be like this is a really cool job i love aviation and i understand my responsibilities i'm going to take this and i'll be like we trust you cool they're gonna go they're going to get contaminated by that power man that's too much power maybe and then and then and then They will get ejected. Themselves?

So who's going to eject them? Who's going to eject them? The powers that be that controlled the airline. You know, like, say they'll be at a meeting and it'll be at the top of a building. And then I'm sorry, but you're no longer needed. And then you're ejected into the sky off the building. So it's just zero tolerance. There's like a check.

There's checks and balances. It's the same thing for traffic. You don't put your fucking turg signal on when you're merging. You're immediately you're fucking reported or. Uh, something's gonna happen. There's probably gonna be drones. You're taken away. You're taken away.

You're taking away. You're taking away. Your car is carried away by these fucking drones, right? And then you're just dropped into this fucking abyss that is essentially bottomless because it's drilled so fucking far down. Like you can't see. It's essentially bottomless. Yeah.

Like, I want people to just realize like, hey, if you're a good, decent human being, you're fine. You will not be fucked with. It's everybody else that, like say, for example, there would be no problems. with this no mask wearing thing. The people not wearing mask would be dealt with swiftly. They would be fucking, there would be my version of the gulag.

They would be fucking completely carried away. And everybody else lives in harmony. We beat the virus and then we go back to society. Everyone would fucking praise me. Yeah, I love not living in this no-nonsense fucking world where everybody's mad about stupid fucking idiots. Okay.

This is exactly why people can't have power. Exactly. See, but you guys are worried about. Never. You guys are worried about... So look, you guys get mad at stupid and... You guys get mad at stupid people. And people that are ruining shit.

But for some reason, like, once they're... Them being dealt with quickly, it's a problem now? No, I agree with you. I just also understand that I'm... The thing is that this, okay? You have the idea of that you're going to keep giving people power and checks and balances. That's what's happened to this world already and ended up fucked it then. You got...

I want drones. I want drones, bro. But the planes... Yeah, until... Like, I want to intro. some certain people, but like elite outstanding, like Captain America type people. And trust them with power because they don't want it, but they understand that it's important that they need to do it.

Like a Bernie Sanders, I don't think he wants to be fucking president, right? I think he's like, I think it's necessary for me to run. Like those type of people, I would entrust the power to him and hopefully he doesn't turn, right? And just, but eventually, eventually I'm hoping that we can just program like Elon Musk. I'm like, hey, we need some drones, bro. And no fuckery, don't program these drones with. racism or anything. Just make them just blank. Don't give them self-awareness.

Can you fucking imagine a racist drone? That would be fucking that would be so genuinely scary. It's like that what's that movie rubber? What's that movie rubber with the tire that fucking goes around killing people? Oh yeah.

I saw that movie and I had no clue what I was watching. I was like, what the fuck is going on? Of course you saw that movie. You've seen every fucking movie. Of course I've seen a movie. I saw that movie in teeth right back to back actually. Oh nice Do you see a hobo with a shotgun? That shit was dope

No was it good No No not really But it was basically It came out around the same time As that tire movie No not really That movie rubber

Had me fucking undone I was like this movie's weird That's the worst Way to describe something Like if someone's like Was it good And you say no not really That is such a sad

That's so much worse Than just like Bad or like Okay Like, no, not really. It's looking. I'll say this. It's worth watching once just to see what it's about.

But I've had no inclination to watch it again. It's just interesting. It's a hobo with a shotgun. It's exactly what the title says. It's a hobo blasting people. And I remember Rubber was another, like, really popular video on Netflix, another popular movie on Netflix that everyone was watching. And that's the only reason I brought it up because it just made me flashed.

That was early Netflix. Yeah, that was like, well... It was like, well... It was like maybe... No, this was... Hmm. This was, no, this was after 2010s. This was like maybe 2011 or 12 or something.

I think so. I'm pretty sure it was around that time because... They were in, like, a desert area, right? Like a very, like a dry area. Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah. Maybe it was wild. Let's just...

I love... Also, can I talk about how much I'd love seeing people get hit by tires? Like, straight tires. Striking people was the funniest shit ever. So it's just fate. It's just fate that moment. It's just everything is right. Everything's going correct and you get hit by a fucking tire.

A stray tire. That shit's scary, man. I think about that a lot, honestly. It's so fucking hilarious. My, okay, somebody did a horrible job changing my rims when I had this Chevy S-10. They didn't lock it all down on one side on the right front tire. And I was dropping my friend off and I started hearing this weird, fucking noise. I'm like, what is that? So I started driving very slow home. I only had like maybe

two miles to go. And it happened to be almost 12 a.m. so I was lucky because my tire just flew the fuck off. And then it started rolling on the sidewalk, which it would have fucking trampled people if it was in the middle of the day. So I got lucky, bro. But it was like amazing how it hopped the fucking curb and was just rolling on a sidewalk. And if it was during the day, I would have had a lot of lawsuits. It would have been a, it would have been pretty fucked up. But, um, yeah. Yeah, that was, I should have filmed it, but this was kind of, you know, before smartphones were thing. Huge Dong McWienerbaum wrote in. Nice.

Says, how's it going, top cookie, stuffing, and bottom cookie? Good to hear another podcast from you. My question is as stupid as my introduction. It's been a long debate between my friends. And this is written so terribly. It's been a long debate between my friends and is love to hear. what you think. Okay, I'd love to hear what you think. Jesus Christ. I can't, I'm dyslexing. I can't deal

with this. Do you put your socks on basically, I can't fucking translate this. Basically, what he's asking is, do you put your socks on before your pants or your pants before your socks? And is that, is it a big deal? It isn't a big deal, it depends. I usually put my socks on before my pants. I put the first layer on before I put the next layer on. Right now with Ramtruck's declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, a low mileage lease on the 2026 RAM 1,500 Big Horn crew cab 4x for $3.69 a month for 39 months

with 4,000-99 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, no security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM-7-22 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man.

Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered.

It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows, so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone.

We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm, thanks for coming by the show.

Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you. What does that mean? Like the first layer is the layer that would touch your skin directly. you put your underwear on, then if you're in the undershirt, and then your socks. Then you put your shirt, your pants, and your shoes on. Yeah, I agree with that, kind of, but to me, it actually depends on the season because if it's cold, I'm going to have my socks on anyway. So they're definitely going to go on before, like, they're already on, and then I put my fucking pants or shorts on or whatever the fuck.

Yeah. But, like, if it's summer, like, now that it's hot as shit, that I kind of have to think about it. I'm like, do I put my socks on first? Because it's so fucking, it doesn't matter. Like, what the fuck? I don't really think about it that often. Like, I have pants on right now, and I don't have socks. You know?

Yeah. So, it's just entirely dependent, I think. Like, this reminds me of, like, we talked about this on sacred symbols, too. Like, this, oh, do you brush your teeth in the shower or something? And that was, like, a thing. Not typically. If I'm running late, yeah. I do it. It's just, like, all in one kind of thing.

It gives you something to do while you're letting shampoo sit also. Because, like, I used to have a bad habit of, like, I would put shampoo in my hair and then I would immediately like fucking rinse it off and like I realized that it just wasn't really washing my hair or doing anything you have to let that shit sit a little bit I mean you gotta let the conditioner sit way more than shampoo

well yeah but you have to actually do that you have to do that with fucking toothpaste too but uh I don't know toothpaste I mean like my I do I think one of the reasons why also I use electronic toothbrush and I usually don't just take it like I'll say if I need a rush I have five minutes to do everything so yeah I'll

take it into the shower and then just like brushing and I'm fucking scrubbing and all that stuff. And other than that, like, I like to take my time when I brush my fucking teeth, especially I haven't had my wisdom teeth pulled out, even though I was supposed to have them pulled out four years ago. Jesus Christ. Yeah. It should, you know, it shit happens fucking. I really do need to get, especially one of them taking out.

It's like totally fucking up the roll of my teeth. But anyway, it's, I have to brush very thoroughly to get it and make sure there's, there's no food in there and all that stuff because it like, it's just all positioned really fucking weird. So I can't, I have to take my time. And I feel like when I'm in the shower, it's,

I can't, like, I don't know, it's, it's, it's kind of weird to me to just, like, do that as a ritual,

but I don't know. I'm in the shower for a pretty, pretty long time. I spend a lot of time thinking in the shower. So it's just like, I'll just brush my teeth and I'll just like, I wonder what the fuck I'm going to do. I feel you.

When I used to have my own shower, I would do that as well. I actually, I would take the opportunity to to sit Indian style and stretch my groin because I already put on like really hot water and then I would like kind of stretch myself out right there because

dude most people if you don't stretch normally or do like gymnastics or something you're so fucking like shit you know you like you can't you're not limber yeah and that was like just one of the best opportunities for me to to like fucking just limber out and then stretch and that was the only time I would spend

extra time in the shower yeah Kingston what the fuck are you What the hell? Is he sleeping? No, I'm just waiting here for you guys to be done talking. Why are you fucking snoring? No, I'm just breathing. That's not breathing, dude. You're sick.

No, I'm just waiting if you has to be done. That's not what a normal breathing sounds like. I was breathing through my nose a little heavy. My bad. Like, I was like, what the hell? I legitimately thought you fell asleep. I was like, you gotta be fucking shitting me. I wouldn't be surprised. No, I'm just waiting. The...

I'm just here patiently waiting. I mean, you can chime in and you can chime in. anytime asshole. Nah, you let you guys talk. You guys have a lot of riveting. Rividing points. Nah,

I just don't care about what you are the saying, so I'm not saying anything. Yeah, I bet you're on your fucking phone like a piece of shit. That's probably what's happening. No, I'm not on much one.

I'm watching my... I'm watching my reflection looking at how fucking weak I've become. That is valid. You have grown rather... You have grown rather feeble. Flabby. I was strong.

I was a powerful vessel once upon the time. I was meant for great things. Destructions of the world. Well, hey, it's time to reverse that shit, bitch. You got the gym. No.

Tanaverset. No more. Can you stop, like, can you do grill chicken instead of fried? Can you do that? Yeah, I'm giving. I'm just going to cook my meals now. I'm just going to prep my own meals at home. There you go.

There you go. I got to do that too, but my fucking, I don't know, I just, I hate where I live right now, man. I fucking, I just hate it with all my heart. And it just, like, everything that I used to do as a routine is just totally stocked because you don't feel like normal and comfortable in your environment. True. Yeah, I'm still adjusting to the apartment Yeah, no apartment

It's still very strange for all of us It's super weird Looks nice though, man Looks good It's a nice place It's also weird that we don't have a living room I guess It's kind of Oh, there's no living room?

Well, we do, but like We have a roommate in here temporarily Because he's moving in a couple months And we were like, ah, you can stay with us While we, you know Wait, you like, adopt him from like the street or something? No, he lived with us before but we like downsized.

Oh. Because he was moving. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay, I totally understand. I was like, who the way? You just say, hey, just come, come here for a while. You guys probably don't want to hear about all of our excavates about our living situation, all that stuff.

Yeah. So, Chris is going to start his closing of the podcast. Yes. We're out of here. If we don't have 20 Keith Davis, I'm going to be fucking pissed. Honestly. If you like what you heard today, please. Please, please, fucking please.

Consider supporting us over at patreon.com slash the snark tank. $1 a month gets you early access. $5 gets you a question read on the show. $10 gets you access to our discord server. And 15 gets you a producer credit and your name dyslexically read at the end of the show, which I will now do. I've got to pull the Patreon up real quick

because it won't... Patreon has a weird fucking website, honestly. Yeah, it's very badly laid out. It's very badly laid out. I appreciate it. it like a lot, but also like Jesus. Yeah, there's just a few quality of life things you need to fix, you know?

Yeah, I wish it wasn't so fucking slow. Oh my God, I forgot to fucking up the price on this. All right, well, here we go. Here we go. Gislein Maxwell reportedly moved from cell to sell to avoid assassinations. Says New York Post.

The fact that that's even... Oh, my God. The fact that's even a conscious thought. The fact that's even a conscious decision this being made is insane. The fact that that's a thought that's inside of the world right now is insane. Fucking hell. Okay. They're trying to get her already. Yeah, honestly.

That's fucking wild. That's, they've just admitted it basically. All right. Double O Dolphin, one meter long fetus, a level one cleric, a Mike Tyson Cunt Punch. Damn. A very normal and non-offensive name. Aaron Alvarez. Abby

beat my brain cells into a bowl of baby batter for a big bicep protein. God damn. Alex Morrison. Arbiter's mandible, mandibles joyfully juicing Johnson's Jumbo Johnson.

A. Rod the Goon King. Autisticus retaricus. Bialzabub the Gimp. Ben Douglas. Oh, nice one. Nice try there, my friend. Big Nick Digger. You tried.

You tried. But my dyslexia is unshakable. Big dude, 0444. Bill Clitlo. Bill clitickler Clinton Oh my god Oh, that's very hot

Uh Bill Cosby spiking the prison punch Black Nipple Gang I appreciate black nipple gang by the way For like just being consistently black nipple gang Right Just like nah man, that's me I'm proud of me

I love my nipple Blind Prosopagnos Pagnosiac fuck that I don't even know what that is Cake and FoxyPH Carson Jones Cataclysmic

Cunt. Chief Keith David. We're approaching. Chris, I don't give a fuck how much you charge. I'm getting my name read on this bitch. Chris, stop raising tier price. You nightmare before Christmas reject. We just want to make you... Right now with Ram Trucks Declaration of Deals.

Well qualified current FCA lessees. Get a low mileage lease on the 2026. Ram, 1,500 Big Horn crew cab. 4 by 4 for 369 a month. For 39 months with 4,09 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra. No security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM.

5722 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify. Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.

Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome.

I think I saw billboarded years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?

What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan.

From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Laugh. You're hurting me. Actively. Comrade Casper. Just kidding.

Keith, David. Count Cocula. Danglius Blamplius. Dankhouse. David Connelly, a deflated left ass cheek. Oh man Deith Kavid Death Kavid

Deith Kavid Deith Kovid De Kewr Uber Unterminch Whatever the fuck Dodeod Doug Dimidome Owner of the Dimsdale

Dingadome Dygadome Dragazorath Dummy thick Keith David Oh my God Dunderhead Oh my fucking God

Patreon is so fucking slow Uh Jesus Christ Dyslexia Your and Chris you fuck Effry Jeffstein Witness projection extraordinaire Oh my lord

Emperor Palpatine Every time you paint a room With Keith David's blood It gets bigger Nice What That's scary Fialar Tandji Gutormschen

Fou hay Fuck you Chris My name is Keith David And I'll have my goddamn name Red in the credits Well it's not for long There you go Girtworm Jim

Green Burista Oof Grudge Grudge the ground level deviant Gucci gang my Gooches gang green Hako Heartless Wretch Harvey Lee Boswald Hi

Higler Nittler The Sister Fister Oh Jesus Christ That's pretty good Hispanic wizard Huge Dong Mick Wienerbaum Hugger Derek I'm not reading that

You're just a fucking asshole What? It's literally just a bunch of like unpronounceable consonants. Smuff was... Fuck you, dude. Smuff was black, and if Smuff was black, he'd be Tom Sweeney, I would

fuck any girlfriend, any girl alien from Mass Effect. Nice. I just can't read these, man. Yeah, you're really struggling today. It's because I'm clicking on each of them, and they're lagging in. As I'm trying to read them. Joe Biden's hairy legs. Jason tentacles,

John Barlick, Joe Jolie, Jolly Old Dipshit, John White Boy Extraordinaire Juan Callis Julius Caesar has jungle fever Kiefer David Keith Ab-Sage David Here we go Keith Davies

Yummy Yummy Cummies A.k.a. Yummy-Yummy-Mummy We don't need your ex-name. I understand. Based on yummy and commies, like I get it. I understand who you want. Okay, now it begins.

Keith David. Keith David, Keith David, Keith David, Keith David, Keith David, Keith David, Keith David, Keith David, Keith David, Keith David, Keith David, Keith David, Keith David, Keith David, Keith David, Keith David, Keith David, Keith David, Keith David ascended. Keith David, David, Breaker of Worlds. Keith David is overrated. Keith David, yeah, right? Keith, my Davids, when he keithorized my Davids through the power of keithorization. I really hate these names.

I'm growing to actually have disdain for you. Keith David, kick flipping on your dad's ball sack. Nice. Keith David murders my. What? My manhole. Did you say what like Keith David? What'd you say?

What? What was that? Keith David on ice. Keith David, please tickle my ass hairs. Keith David, the virginity thief. Keith David versus Keith Deeth Kavid. I'm cutting a lot of these short because you guys are just fucking overindulgent. Keith David's dank, delectable draconian dick.

Nice. Keith David's eccentric Krispy Cream donut Keith David's rejected clone Keith David's catastrophically colossal cock Of course Nice So hot

You're too much closer to the mic It's just obnoxious That was bad That was really bad Keith David's Keith David's favorite Keith David's latest fan Keithethearian David

Keithen David Nice. King of haphazard, but twice because Patreon glitched last week. King, Kung Fu Fetus, La Muffler. Oh my God. I'm getting so tired. Fuck you. I'm not doing the rest of these.

I'll see you later. You fucking cheap piece of it. Are you really going to cut it? Dude, it's three more pages of this. All right. Well, guys, we love you, we love you, we appreciate it. Hold on, hold on. You know what?

well fuck it whatever lemuffler luno lino lipton's famous tebag

man man man uh Madeline Madeline god fucking damn I'm getting so mad

Madeline Marcus Shorton Matthew Bush Melfus 1 Merrick free shot Miley Cyrus's mildly pious defiled hymen Jesus

Christ Mitchell Blackwood Moto zealit Negroid Our Lord Keith David Pee extendeth Quithe David Queef David

Richter 86 Robin Williams' What? Probably something fucking bullshit Suicide Prevention Hotline God damn Ruthfader Ginsburg Moist Clam sauce Ryan Klingler

Savannah is currently recovering from her surgery thank you to everyone who donated That's awesome That's so awesome That's so sick

Oh sick with it Yeah that was good I'm glad that happened at least At least that positive That's good out of this Seriously it's pronounced Mugin

uh... Sherlock 93 Simp Biscuit Snorting Sweeney come Ew Oh that's that fucking gross This is what you inspire

Straightbender Keith David Nice Sunny Chance Stitzrup Chemma Testiculus Maximus Texas Tater Salad That loser

That Nick Walker That black That smiles black Keith David I'm fine I can't read I can't read The Cosmic Hipie

The Ghost that lived in the apartment Above Chris and Sweeney The gray the Grey gamers The Ternark Pank Sodcast You're such an asshole Nice

These people are just bullying My dyslexia honestly at this point The Invisible Skeptic Thelma Nation Forever The Spector Angel Toby Shootman Tutsi Vosti Well Mrs. Lincoln

Other than that How did you enjoy the play Wormulon Keeper of the Elder Cream And last page Zesty Doner Zee Theory And Zizzy

Zazzy Zuzi Zuzzi Zobobuji Zichuki or whatever the fuck You kill that one all the time Man I like that one That's why I get excited to read it every time Thanks to everybody who supported us We're fine

I'm going up to fucking $25 This is insane It's just too much We're doing it today That's bad it's We love you guys but come on You're killing him He's already so

He's always so little of him That exists I got so That was genuine anger by the way Like that was like I'm sorry But like holy fuck It's so much they're so long.

Keep your names concise. Clever and concise. Brevity is the soul of wit. And quite frankly, I'm cutting them off anyway. A lot of these are just long and they're just ridiculous. But we appreciate you, even if you have no appreciation for me or my mental health, as evidenced by this.

We'll see you guys next week for another Star Tank podcast, hopefully with a shorter end segment. I'll catch you guys on the foot side. If it triples, if it triples, if we hit, if we push this to $25 and it's still triples, I won't show up. I'm not showing up. I'm gonna, I'm, you'll be dead in my room and you'll find me with flies like dancing on my eyelids. You'll be, there'll be maggots crawling out of my fucking molars. It'll be a bad sight.

So, uh, get a load of this guy. Look, we'll, we'll figure some now. All right. Bye, guys. Bye. Malboja, you. Mowboja. My bosa, you dirty nigger. That's not hot.

That's not hot. Right now with Ram Trucks declaration of deals, well-qualified current FCA lessees, get a low mileage lease on the 2026. Ram,500 Big Horn crew cab, 4x4 for $369 a month for 39 months, with $4,00099 due at signing. Tax, title, license extra, no security deposit required. Call 1-877 RAM 5722 for lease details. Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stalantis Financial. Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease to qualify.

Extra charge for miles over 32,500. Not all customers will qualify. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 331. At Applebees, drink stays better when they're sipped together. That's why they're dropping two new still-together sips cocktails made with still gin by Dre and Snoop. After one taste, you'll have your mind on your sips and your sips on your mind. Must be 21 plus void will prohibit, tax and gratuity exclude.

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