The Snark Tank - #30: Adult Swim vs Karens

Episode Date: July 24, 2020

What happens when Karens find out that Cartoon Network has an adult programming block? What happens when Chris gets drunk with Zach in a diner? What happens when a surprising amount of patron questions put us in awkward furry scenarios? This episode happens. This is Omry once again. There isn't much time. If this episode gets good reviews on iTunes the small one has agreed to free me. I fear this may be a ruse, but it's the only glimmer of hope I have. Please. Please God. Free me. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Fuck, he's a little bit for me. Hey, everybody. It's me. What a more. Uh, it's us. Hey, look, I hope it's great. I'm not going to fuck with me. Hey, everybody.

It's me. It's us. It's the Snark Tank podcast hosted by your boys. Uh, it's us again. Uh, you know who we are at this point. I'm, I'm not going to say our names. This is, this is real no point. You should know me.

by now. What is this? Episode 30? Yeah, about. Oh, yeah, it is episode 30. Yeah, you're right. The 30th one. We've been doing this for a long time at this point. It's been like almost half a year. Wow, look at us. Look at us. Go no more than half a year, actually. Well, I mean, technically the first like four or five episodes are like dispersed. Oh, yeah. So I guess consistently. Yeah. So consistently it's been, it's been a little bit, you know, it's a decent amount of time. We've been here. We've been here.

for you guys. We've been here. So, uh, just before we get into everything, just want to remind everybody that we got some merch over at the T-Spring store, T-Spring.com slash stores slash snark dash tank. That is what we got at the moment. I'm working with some other people to get like a proper storefront, uh, made, but I think, you know, everything, everybody's kind of like disheveled, uh, lately. So it's taking a little bit longer than I would like, but, you know, it's happening. Uh, and just letting you know, if you just letting you know, if you just, support us at patreon.com slash a snark tank. At any tier you get raw, you get the raw art for the merch. So if you live like overseas and shipping is like insane, you can just sort of print your

own stuff. Just don't sell it because we will hunt you down and possibly kill you. We'll find you and we'll hurt people you love. So don't do that shit. We will definitely not obey most of the Geneva conventions if we find out. Like some of them are on the table, of course, but like most are I would say are like, you know. I'm going to sick off the win. I got Will Smith in my back pocket. He's ready to,

he's ready to pounce. We got Will Smith in the back pocket. He's sad and he's got nothing left. He's ready to take it. Let's not beat that man down anymore, man. We've already won. He's lost, right?

Let's just let him be. I can't, I can't help, but like every time I see him now, I just see the title, the depressed French of despair. Depressed Prince of despair. There you go.

I think I said French last. That's so sad. It's really. It's really sad. That's him now. It's his legacy. I don't know if it's his legacy. That's a bit of a stretch. But, yeah, I know what you mean. It's definitely going to die. It's a shame because his meme legacy was that's hot for a long time, and now it's just this.

Yeah, now it's been circumvented from him, which sucks. Yeah, that sucks so much. But we don't have a lot of topics to talk about today. I feel like nothing's really happened. There is something going on with adult swim currently that I'm. I thought was like vaguely interesting, but I think the most, most of this episode is going to be a mailbag. We're going to be going to be going through some of your, some of your insane, uh, suggestions and insane questions. But first, I guess we should talk about this. It looks like, it seems to me like

Cairns have discovered the existence of adult swim because they're getting a lot of complaints for things that I thought were like, kind of common sense. Uh, so for anybody who's like kind of not caught up on this. Basically people found this old like, you remember those like weird like animations that would play like in between commercials or like

in between like shows on Adult Swim that were just sort of like surrealist kind of like. Yeah, those little weird shorts that they used to have. Yeah. That they were classically known for having since like I don't know since I was like a kid. So one of them one of them is

one of them is like I guess a bunch of like pyramid heads in like a room and they're like playing the drums with babies in their hands and the beats are like baby laughs and baby squeals. So like it's just it's this really old thing that Mike Diva did. And if anybody knows special effects at all, they probably know who Mike Diva is. He's done a lot of pretty crazy viral ad campaigns and stuff like that over the years. but a bunch of people found it and they were like, I can't believe that this is allowed on Cartoon Network. They're brainwashing the children because I guess they just didn't know

that Adult Swim was a thing. And maybe also that Adult Swim, I mean, it has its name and the title. It's an Adult Swim. No, yeah, but I think people just forgot, or maybe people just didn't know that Adult Swim was on Cartoon Network. Because, like, people have to know about adult swim, right? I mean, not necessarily. When I was young, I remember my mom thought I was watching cartoon porn because I was watching

C-Lab 2021. And, because there was just, like, a scene where I think, I can't even remember what the black dude's name, Quentin or, I forgot, it's been so long. But I think he was, like, banging, like, the chick Debbie or whatever. And it, I mean, it just looks like. the beginning of some, some fucked up shit. And they just thinking, look at this fucking pervert watching cartoons when there's plenty of normal porn around. What is he doing?

And, uh, yeah. So, yeah, I don't, I don't think parents know what the hell adult swim is at all. I don't, look, I don't, I don't necessarily think parents know what adult swim is. But adult swim has been around for a while, like since we were kids. Oh, yeah. It's been a, it's been a while now. So the fact that, and also just, like, Adult Swim has exploded.

It's the reason Family Guy came back. It's the reason Rick and Morty is like the most famous cartoon that exists right now, I think. That's so true. They probably just didn't know

about like the, just the other obscure shit. Like they didn't know, like, like Super Jail or something. They didn't know about, they didn't know about

fucking moral or whatever? No, probably not. That show is, oh my God. That show's so fucking funny. Moral Oro, Super Jail and freaking Aquatim. Those shows are just the most

ridiculous shit ever. Aquatine was the best. I loved Aquitin so much. It was good. Fantastic show. Just had a wide array of characters that you can either love or hate. And that's what was so good. So many of those, like, I feel like a lot of those stories, like from Aquitine would

just, I don't even know if they would be allowed in on current day adult swim. All the original ones. Like season like one through five, we're just like, yo, what the fuck? There's a whole episode where they, Have you ever seen the hand banana episode? Episode of Aquitaine? I'm not sure if I remember that one. Where they create a dog and it threatens to rape Carl and does?

And then Carl makes a clone dog to rape the dog and it just rapes Carl again. So they both end up raping Carl. It's the most insane. It's so ridiculous. The fact that it's, that's, that show got. away with a lot, I think, because it's probably, like, super cheap to, to make. Because, like, there wasn't really any... There was animation in it, but, like...

Rarely. Not real animation. Rarely. Yeah, it's not like... I swear to God Carl's design is from another fucking show. Like, I swear, I swear, I've seen him somewhere else. I think they just drew over a picture of a man, honestly. Like, I don't think that's, like, a thing that just came out of someone's head.

I think somebody just took a picture of a slovenly oaf and just traced it. it. He's so good. And then use it as this character. He's definitely my favorite. He's my favorite character. Mine is between Meatwater, Shake. Shake is great. How do you like Shake? How do you like Shake? How do you like Shake? When he's such like the biggest piece of shit in the world?

He's such a piece of shit, but everyone ignores that he's a piece of shit all the time and it blows my mind. It's like Eric Cartman. Like he's fucking the worst. But everybody's like, yeah, whatever. Let's shake do his thing. Shake is carried a lot by his voice because his voice is so entertaining.

Yeah. That you just can't help. Like, Frylock is just a cool, dude. He's the cool black guy with like superpowers. You're like, all right, Frylock's kind of cool. And then Meatwild is just like, I can't even make his voice. It's so unique.

It's a really disgusting voice. But I don't know, man. Like, I just feel like people know about, I feel like people know about Aquitaine. I feel like people, like, maybe they might not know it off the top of their head, but I feel like if they saw like a screenshot of Aquatine Hunger Force, I feel like a lot of people would know what it is or would at least have some context

as to what kind of network it's on and would probably have some memory of it being on fucking Cartoon Network. I don't know. Like, does nobody use, like, info? You know, like, do you remember using info on, like, cable or whatever? And you would, like, skip through the entire day of, like, Cartoon Network.

And then you would see, like, you know, PowerPuff Girls, pop up girls, pop up girls. And then you'd see, like, fucking family guy. And that didn't, like, that wasn't, like, surely most people have done this. I feel like a lot of people just didn't do that. I feel like people would just, like, see, Because I don't, I feel like we're from a generation where like we had to do stuff like that.

We didn't know about like there like this didn't have always have like the thing where it would show what's coming on next like immediately on the channel. And like we are, but what I'm saying is like what I'm saying is like we are old now. We are old now but Karen's are just older. I guess Karen's are like the 35s and up. I guess. I don't know. I think whatever the fuck that is. I think if you're in your 30s, I think you know about this stuff.

I think it's older man. I really think it's like 40s and up. It has to be people that are freaking out about this because they just don't understand because I'm in my 30s. And so I definitely grew up with adult swim. And I'm aware of all the fucked up shit that was on there. And I imagine just people just a little bit older,

like a decade older that didn't really use the internet. And when late night television was on, it was fucking, what was it? A late night person? It was just some guy. Chin guy. It wasn't a jimmies yet, right? No, it was like the.

take over yet. Jay Leno, the old dude that's actually kind of good. Letterman, Letterman. Yeah, it was like those people. They were still on, like, oh, knee slapping and shit, and then they had no idea about fucking cartoons doing fucked up shit, you know, they had

no idea. They probably did it. Like, like, it just wasn't that big. I mean, it wasn't, it wasn't, I think the biggest thing was, and this is still kind of past like anyone's time about any type of Karen or anything is a metal oclips. I think that was like one of the most,

that gave Adult Swim so much notoriety, which I'm trying to think what before that was a bigger show than that really. Because I think that shit like really transcended Adult Swim itself and then it became like huge brands and then fucking they even started doing live shows and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

That was probably the biggest show pre-Rick and Morty. I can't think of another one. Maybe, um, you could, You could make a pretty strong case for Robot Chicken. Oh. Tim Merrick was a pretty big, too. What, show? Tim Merrick.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's actually probably... Actually, yeah, that's probably the biggest one. Yeah. Because Tim and Eric is, like, if you... If you ask anybody on the internet on the internet who Tim and Eric is, they know who it is. You know?

I'd assume that, but they're probably... I'd probably... I'd probably... I'd probably... I feel like people around our age would know, but I feel like a lot of people who don't... Younger and might not. Maybe, but, like, the chances are that there are people who are

younger who are influenced by people who are influenced by Tim and Eric. That's very true. You know what I mean? Like, it's, it's like one of those things where it's like, you, you are connected to them regardless of how much you even, because I didn't even really watch it at all. Like, the most I've seen are those, the Steve Bruill clips and like the video of the dude, the road trip clip where he gets decked by the bus. That shit is fucking hilarious. That's it.

Like, I really have very little experience with Tim and Eric, but I know that everybody that I used to watch uh like adores that shit I've seen a little bit of a comedy that is now was definitely based like somehow spawned because of shit like that oh definitely back definitely back in like the early YouTube days it was like that it was definitely like very

heavily Tim and Eric inspired and now you have like fucking Eric Andre he's like I would argue probably like the new he's an arbiter he's a new arbiter of freaking adults with him dude he's so his his show is

I I've never I don't think I've ever laughed harder at something that was live like live action Like it's so fucking ridiculous And it's what's amazing Is how he had to step up his game

Because obviously the celebrities And their agents They're now aware of the Eric Andre show So they're probably thinking Oh he's gonna fuck with us a little bit But then he just goes even harder in the paint Because the first two seasons were like They didn't know

They thought like Oh this will be like a regular talk show, I guess. And then now... Even the later ones. Even the later ones that had no idea. You see the one with Jeanette McCurdy? Well, see, like, I'm sure she knows how wacky, because that

was like season three or four. I think that was season three. No, man. It was season three, but there's no way she knew. No, she didn't know what was going to happen. That's what I mean. Like... She knew shit was going to happen, but not like, oh, I'm going to pull out fucking nudes of Obama and say, like, oh, this was the nudes that fucking leaked of you, right? That shit's

so funny. Gets in her face and keep saying like I love you and shit and she's like okay I really need you I really need your help right now her mouth in that clip animates between like seven different stages of grief in like a moment's notice and it's like it's the quickest I've ever seen somebody's face change and it just cracks me the fuck up every time I think he's a comedic genius honestly like I think he's truly like ahead of like like 10 20 years from now we're going to look back on like the artistry that was Eric Andre. Yeah.

I actually think it's the opposite. I think he's actually a step back in like a good way because I think a lot of people have made steps forward, but like it's always just this kind of like very underwhelming step forward. Like yeah, people are getting funnier, but it's also like, you know, everything's like really serious and kind of like it's got this didactic tone and like any comedy has like some message now. But it's like Eric Andre is like, I'm just going to do what Andy Milanakis did, but like way better.

You know what I mean? Like, it's just like, if you... That's a good point. Like, if you watch the Andy Milanooga show, if you watch the Andy Milanooga show, it's literally just that. It's, it's just some insane person doing shit to make people uncomfortable, and that's the whole fucking thing. That's it. But the thing about this, Eric Ond is that he takes it to the... He takes it to the level that everybody wants to take it.

Well, he took it to a late night. He grabbed someone's kid? That shit broke me down. Yeah, he did. He grabbed someone's child. He didn't grab someone's child. grab someone's, like he definitely. They might have been in on it, but the reaction from everybody else around him was just like,

what the fuck? And I was just like, this is, this is it. This is genius. Yeah, that was good. This is pure comedy. Well, the thing that was really good about Eric Andre was that he just sort of brought that to a late night formula, which was like, you know, late night is just so. Already live right.

And very, um, I don't even know, like very cookie cutter. Like even the best late night people, which I think is, it's really only Conan. Conan's like really. Conan's really the only good late-night person. But even Conan is like, you know, you know what you're getting with Conan. Like, it's just, it's going to be a guy who's funny, and he gets along well with his guests, but that's ultimately what it is. It's just, it's a guy telling jokes and letting his guests kind of talk about shit. It's a talk show.

But Eric Andre just fucking, there's episodes where he has a guest on, and the guest just doesn't speak. Like, he doesn't speak the whole time. I remember watching, I can't remember who it was, but I remember watching an episode. It was like that he didn't speak. once during this entire interview. I think it was, it wasn't, it wasn't, uh, it was Khalifa, I think.

Was it was Kalifa? Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah, I think you're right. There was one time where like, there was one time where he was telling a joke, right? And then like someone tried to assassinate him during a joke, which was a skit. And then people were beating his ass and back at him.

And I was just like, what the fuck? Or one time when he peed on himself, he peed in his own face while he was telling the joke. And it's like, what? the fuck is this. It's just whatever you can think of, dude. I fucking love it. Pure genius. The only criticism

I have, which kind of bummed me out, was on the latest season, he changed his band. And it was like a bunch of like pasty old white dudes. And I was like, oh, what happened to the original band? Because I love them. Because they're, to me, they're an essential part of the show. Like, one of

my favorite moments is Gillian Barbary or whatever the fuck her name is that news chick. They were just, she was kind of in on it, and the band's wacky playing, and then everybody's being wild, and she's, like, singing, like, terribly. And then you see the dude, I think is the trumpet player, and he's just trying to get everyone's attention. He's like, hey, hey, and then everything stops.

He's like, can you help me kill myself? And then just goes to the break. And it's one of my favorite fucking moot, because this comes out of nowhere. It's so good. And I was like, fuck, that guy's gone. That guy's great. So, I don't know. I hope he's back for the new season or something.

I hope they got the reason back. Even Hannibal. Hannibal's presence there is so fucking fantastic. He's so good. He's like just so fucking like faded all the time. He's just like, yo, this guy's clearly high. And it was one time when Eric made fun of him. And he was just like, honestly, my mom raised a strong black man who could fight so you could try me if you want. And I was just like, what the fuck?

What's happened? I wonder, I really do like, I look at that show and I really can't tell how much of it is improvised or how much of it is planned to feel improvised. You know what I mean? Like all that show feels like every. part of it is so hilarious that it's like I have a hard time believing that it's all improv. Because improv inevitably, I mean, I guess they could just cut out the stuff that, I guess that's editing, right? You could just cut out all the stuff that doesn't work.

That's very true. But still, it's so consistently hilarious that I'm just like, if this is improv, this is wild. Yeah, he's a genius. But, yeah, I don't know. I just don't understand how, I don't know. Like, how do you not know what adult swim is with the popularity of Eric Andre, with the popularity freaking morning. I just, I just don't understand it. And a bunch of people were just, like, flipping out, and they were just, like, telling,

they were saying it's, like, brainwashing kids to be, like, pro-abortion or something. Ah, okay. It's just insane. I saw. Just wild. It's brainwashing kids into believing that a woman should have a choice of her body. Yeah. I guess so.

That's crazy. Wow. Wow. Well, I mean, from the, from the, from the, yeah. But, I mean, like, from the Christian, even from the Christian perspective, it's, like, you can't look at, like, a ridiculous animation and, like, assume that that's all it is. Like you have to assume that it's some greater fucking like Machiavellian plot to like transform the youth. Like I just I just don't get it.

Yeah, it's like 700 close shit, man. I can't believe it. It's called Adult Swim for fuck's sake. I remember watching a 700 cup and being like, this is the worst shit I ever seen in my fucking life when I turned it off. This is fucking terrible. It's like, what is this? It's pretty bad. That dude, Robert Pattinson, he's fucking, that guy is, is it, or Patterson?

I don't remember. Robert Pattinson. Yeah, that old crusty fuck. Like, he's so... Oh, oh, Pete Robertson. Pete Robertson? The old man on the 700 Club? Is that the name?

I thought it was like... No, Robert Pattinson is the guy from Twilight. That's the Twilight guy, right? The guy that's going to be Batman. Not Batman. He's going to be Batman, yeah, right? Can you fucking imagine Robert Pattinson on the 700 Club? Yo, if he was on there when he was in Twilight,

it would have been a lot of Christian girls, man. He would have stole a lot of them. That would have been really crazy. That would have been... Wait. My girlfriend might have been like a ridiculous Christmas. She loved fucking Twilight. I just fucked it.

Okay. Pat Robertson. Oh, Pat Robertson. Oh, we were all wrong. See, but you understand why I said Robert Pattinson, though.

It was just kind of dyslexic. It's a little bit of changing around in there, and you were right almost. But that guy, that guy was always so hilarious to me. And then he had this very soft-spoken, kind of broken voice. And I'm like, this guy's going to die at any moment. you can't let people live around your dwelling.

You have to have a private domicile. You can't let people walk up to you and breathe freely. It's like this old feeble man. I remember turning on the 700 Club every now and again. Or like specifically the first time I came across it because I saw the 700 Club and I was like, what? Like I saw it on like the info when I was like channel surfing and I was like, what could that possibly be? You know, like that, that name is so innocuous and not informative as to what the program is at all. And then you go to it and it's just some old man talking about the Bible.

And it's like, what? There's no context with the word 700, the fucking number 700 means anything. There's no, yeah, there's no, 700 means nothing. It's not a club because it's just, it's just him. It is a club. You're paying 700. You're paying 700 a month for Pat Robertson to fucking give you some sweet Bible readings. I think that's well worth it, don't you think?

That's not world worth it. Fuck that. $700 a month? I wouldn't give Jesus $10 a month to read me the Bible. I wouldn't. I would be like, no. Would you give Jesus $10 a month to hang out with you? If he was real, I would have like, yo, what's good with like, I would just be, I feel like I wouldn't.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let's be real. Let's be real. Let's be real. If Jesus came back to life and he started a business, he was like, pay, $10 a month to just chat with Jesus every now and again. Like, you'd probably do it at least once. I would do it.

I feel like everyone would do it. But I would do it. And I'd be like, yo, what? What's up with the hatred towards black people, bro? I'm like, what's good with that? Like, why? What are you guys been, bro? Where y'all been at?

He'll just like, where are you all been? Like, nah, you got to answer me. I gave you my money, bro. He'll be smoking weed. He'll be like, yo, I wasn't here. I don't know what to tell you. You're like a genie or some shit, right? Like fucking, yo, fucking turn some water in a wine.

Fix fucking corporate destruction. Like, yo, help me, bro. And I'm like, nah, man, I'm chilling. I'm chilling. God would just come out and he'd be like, listen, listen, dude, you're like a fucking ant-hill. I'm working on, like, my equivalent of, like, a Tesla. And you're an ant-hill.

I check back on the ant-hill every now and again to see how it's doing. See if there are any more ants. And there's always a lot more ants. But ultimately, the ants do what the ants do, you know? Dude, I'm working on a Tesla. Yo, yo, yo, yo. What's crazy that you even said that,

back in 2010, I remember this vividly, I had a conversation with one of my coworkers, old black dude from Syracuse, and he had an answer for everything. And that was one of his answers about the atrocities of the world. He literally said, God perceives us as ants. Like, we're just there, something he created. And I'm like, well, he can't be benevolent then, can he? He's just like, oh, because, you know, everyone loves him and shit. I'm like, well. That's not benevolence. It's not necessarily not benevolence. It's kind of just like, It's just indifference. It's not even indifference. No, but people say that he's benevolent, though.

They say that he's loving and shit. And I'm like, well, he can't be then, can he? And he's like, well, he's not malevolve. Listen, hold on, hold on, hold on. Yeah, I'll put it this way. I'll put it this way. I've made a lot of shit that I forgot about and have completely, completely forgotten about. And I'm just a person making something that's really not that far beyond my normal capabilities.

If I was a fucking deity, if there's a, if there is a deity, he's definitely like, he definitely forgot about this. Oh, for sure. This whole thing. My perception is there's either aliens or a god just jacked off into this planet. And then that's what it sprung up. And he's like, yeah, I jack off on a lot of planets. But there's billions of planets the fuck you want. I don't know why he got a jack off.

I mean, because there's a seed in your jack off. So then he jacks off on a planet. And then he jacked off in a seat. He created fucking MRNA and bullshit. Yes. No. No. I mean, maybe.

I don't fucking know. I just feel like, honestly, I feel like, honestly, I feel like, where there's a fucking mistake, where there's a fucking colossial celestial mistake that kind of came into, like, maybe there was some plant and a fucking alien somewhere

that, like, fell on a rock and died and then the rock hit here, and then we fucking spawned from that rock or some shit. I mean, that's the most plausible that, like, because there's obviously alien DNA and shit that was, like, from comets and whatever,

that eventually just smack on stuff and then shit starts growing. I mean, like, when you just look at the whole, the idea of like a petri dish, you cough on it, and then there's growth after a while, and you just created a society,

technically. So, no. Yeah, you created fucking bacteria. I'm not in the piece of this. Society, bro. That's bacteria. It's a difference. Technically, it's not a civil society,

but there's a bunch of niggas chilling from you coughing. Oh, my God. You want, you want, this is a shitling from you. This is madness. This is fucking madness. So therefore, I am God.

You, I nutted in this petri dish and now they have fucking government, bro. Isn't that wild? So you're going zero to 100. You said the same shit. They're chilling, right? Mine is made government, bro.

Mine are more advanced. Maybe we should have come into Petri Desk. You see? Oh, okay. So that's what I'm missing. I'm missing my semen in the Petri dish. But, okay. I have to get on your level.

I'm sorry. You got to fuck with science as much as possible, bro. He didn't even imagine there's just a bunch of scientists just fucking just jizzing it. Petri dish. It's just. It's going to work this time, I swear. Did you ever see that video? Did you ever see that video, the dude who, like, he comes on something and then he puts it in a syringe,

and then he injects it and do like an unfertilized egg, and then he grows a little homunculus? No. No. It's not real. Well, it's a real video, but there's no way it's, like, real, like, obviously. Because it's like this little worm, this little fleshy worm thing comes out of the egg, and it's, like, moving around, and it's like, oh, I'll do it. And it's like, it's really off-putting, even if it is, like, fake. Yeah, even like there's like fake shit like, you ever see that dog hybrid, that human, it's like, it's like a human dog and it's like, it's like a nursing its little pups or something. You ever see that picture?

No, no, no. It's so unsettling. It's like dog human. Dog human. Oh, you need to see it. Dog human like feeding. I wonder if I can't even happen. That's not even how like, of course.

And how like DNA works. Of course it's not. I don't want to see that. I don't want to think about. about that. I know, but I really want you to, though. You're a fucking asshole. Oh, it's so gross. I'm going to send you pictures of mutilated stuff now.

You started it. Well, no, no, no, no, no. Let's not fucking degrade. Not right now, but eventually I'll bombard you with them. Well, I'm not going to be a part of that. Yeah, sure you're not. We've got a decent amount of questions, since there really isn't much news. And I really can't think of anything of note that's really even happening. Did anything happen at all?

Before we go on to the questions, let me check the whole Explore page of Twitter. See if there's just anything going on. It's just depressing stuff. Yeah, the only good thing that I saw is that there is a in real life Johnny Bravo. I don't know if you see that guy. Every time I open Twitter, I see him. His hair looks like his bottom jaw. Yo, his chin is fucking abrupt.

What is that sleepy town type, that guy? Lazy town. Lazy Town, whatever. Like, he looks like that guy. Sleepy Town is the Cosby Show. It really? It's not. I think, uh...

No, it's not. Sleepy Town. Oh, my fucking word. Let's move on. Let's move on to the questions. Since we got a decent amount to go through. My God. Sorry, sleepy town was good.

That was good with it. Yeah, I'm pretty happy with it. So we got first question here out from Aoushire. funny moments Oh, cool. I can't even believe it. Horrid. What is the most vile,

reprehensible meal you have ever had the misfortune of eating? Conversely, what is the best meal you've ever eaten? We don't have to go into the best meal because I think it's, the best meal that we've ever eaten

is probably going to be really mundane in comparison. But I definitely would be remiss not to mention vegan pizza in Los Angeles. Now, I've had vegan girlfriends in the past, and I recall the very specific moment where I was like, okay, hey, I don't want to go to two separate places. Let's find a place that we could both like.

And I was like, okay, I like pizza. There's a vegan pizza place. Let's get the vegan pizza. And I remember being, like, immediately suspect because normal pizza in Los Angeles isn't really that good in the first place. So vegan pizza is like a whole other ballgame. So I was like, all right, this is probably going to be bad. but I'm going to keep an open mind. And I'm not exaggerating when I tell you,

it is, it is the worst thing I've ever eaten. It's the worst flavor, the worst texture. It feels like, it feels like blended, soupy cardboard. And it tastes like blended soupy cardboard, too.

Like, I can't even describe the taste of it. Sounds delicious. What are you talking about? You're fucking crazy, man. I can't even... I know where, I know where I got it too.

You know what? I'll get, I'll, what is it? I'll, uh, what is it? I'll, uh, you could have a free,

a free vegan pizza. You're gonna, your mind's gonna be blown. Oh, dude. By how bad it is. I don't know. I don't know what's the worst I've ever had, actually. I feel like I just don't remember it.

I feel like I don't want this and I eat something else. Like I don't, that's gross. Yeah, I, yeah, I mean, I've had things that were,

just didn't really gel with me really well. Like, uh, I was, uh, eating a, a Greek meal on what was it on Thanksgiving

and my girlfriend at the time her mom prepared a meal and Greeks really like yogurt and not in the way... Oh yeah, they put it on everything. Yeah, not in the way that Americans use yogurt, you know, it's like a treat that you just have with usually sweet stuff and they fucking like, oh, here's some yogurt,

put some pepper in it, slap it on this fucking this meat thing that's wrapped in like this vegetable shit and I'm like what the this is these flavors don't mesh at all like at all and I was just a battle it's a fucking war zone it's it's it's yo it's it's it's

freaking European people man their food is different from ours yeah so I know what the best ever had okay continue though Derek I was just saying that was I felt bad because I was sitting at dinner and like oh shit I got a least attempt to eat this stuff and not be disrespectful no I don't do that dude I don't do it if I'm not gonna look if I don't If I can smell the food is not, like I can smell if food's not going to be good.

And if I say, I'm just going to be like flat out, no, thank you. I'm not hungry. That's every time. I eat all the time. I just say, no, thank you. I'm not hungry. I don't fucking do that. I don't, I don't have someone prepare food for me and not eat it because that's so fucked up because I've had to do it before.

There's been times where I went to like places with my grandmother where we're eating food. And I'm like, I should probably say I don't want this, but I'm not going to say anything. Then I get it. And I'm like, this is bad. I'm like, eat all of it. But it doesn't matter because. they're going to make it for you anyway. Oh, no, no, no, no.

I just say no. And I'm like, if you make it, I'm not going to eat it. And that's it. And I stand by it. I'm just like, I'm not going to eat this. I'm sorry. Yeah. I always, I always eat whatever's in front of me, typically.

Like, I'll at least eat some of it. But like, I remember I had sea urchin. Oh, God. Almost threw up when you said that. Because I was in a situation where I couldn't say no. It was too awkward. I, I, I, so I was like, that, that, that, sea, Like, why do people have to eat everything?

Why do, like, I have to try everything that exists. It's so fucking dumb to me. Have you ever eaten bull testicles? Oh my God, I know what I know. I know it's the worst thing ever eaten before. What is it? Oh, my God. When I was in, I was in Toot.

Did you say dick? Because that's not the worst. Okay. Preach. But I was in Totola once to visit, to visit a few aunts and uncles and they had they had sea turtle and I was like first of all I'm pretty sure you can't even kill these legally but they were like it's fine don't worry about it and I ate a piece of it and when I tell you when I tell you it felt it felt like it felt like somehow they put a bunch

of muscle on top of fish and I took a bite of it and I literally I literally went into a fucking frenzy. Like I was just like, what is this? It's so bad. Why is it taste like this? And they were like, calm down. Just eat. And I was like, no. I know how you guys cook because I cook like you guys. But this is bad. This is horrible. This is the worst thing ever. And literally my grandmother was like, I'll make you something else. Don't worry about it. Just wait to get home. But just please stop making a ruckus. And I was like, I can't believe they eat that. They're going to get sick. It was so bad. Oh, Lord. That reminds me. They remind me. They remind me. reminds me of like, it's, it's not technically a bad meal, but I remember being really disgusted by it. I was, like, really drunk at a party with Zach and a couple of other people, and Veronica, who's a mutual friend of all of ours, made us these drinks, and she's, like, really notorious for making, like, really strong drinks. I didn't know that at the time, because it was the first time that I had met her. And I had, like, three of these, like, Veronica cocktails or whatever the

fuck. And then we all went to the diner. I went with Zach and, like, a couple other people, and at the diner it hit me that I had I was fucking way too drunk to be eating anything which is like not a good fucking feeling you should always feel like you should be able to eat

especially when you're drunk you like you almost kind of need to sure but I remember eating I remember biting into a burger and being like uh oh and I remember like

I remember so fucking putrid but I remember literally just spitting into my lap because I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you because I don't know

how long it's been since you've been like really really drunk but you know But you feel like a need to like kind of like spit almost. That's how you know that you, because your mouth is like producing like way too much saliva because you're about to throw up. And I remember just spitting in my life and I turned to Zach and I'm going to be like,

I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick. And I destroyed that bathroom at this diner. And I think I'm banned from it. I can't go back. You know that reminds me of, you ever see that video of David Hasselhoff eating the burger, he's drunk? He's on a floor. He's on the floor.

That's so sad. That's such a sad video. That was just like, man. This guy's fucking destroyed. That's not a sad video. That's an empowering video. I saw that video. I saw that video and I was like, what happened to him?

I watched that video with fucking Enya playing in the background to fucking fuel me for the rest of the day. It's so motivation. You're a fucking, you're a troglodyte. You're wrong. Listen, man, if Hasselhoff is going through that, then if Hasselhoff goes through this shit, then like, you know, it means we're all human, you know? I don't like seeing people at their lowest because it's just like, fuck, I want to laugh at you, but I shouldn't. That's definitely not Hasselhoff's lowest. Oh, she's pretty low.

I was a pretty low moment. Nah, that's like when you see somebody drinking in the shower and you think, oh, how sad when the person in the shower is drinking is like, this is fucking sick. Dude, one of my, every person I know that's come back from the Marines drinks in the shower. So one time when I was upstate when I went back to visit my family from California, I went in my bathroom and it was like four king cobras just in the bathroom. And I was like, what's happening? And when my cousins was like, yeah, I'm about to take a shower. We would give me a suck? And I'm like, why you got like three 40s in here?

Like, I'm just going to down those real quick. Well, I'm going to shower and I'm going to come out. So I just like, all right, dude. Extreme PTSD depression and fucking everything else. I was like, bro, all right, man. I'm not going to talk to you about this. I don't have a degree in this. Drinking in the shower.

Drinking of the shower is so fucking fun. No, no, hold on. No, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. It is. I only, I did it.

I only did it one time, but it was, I went to Sedona randomly with this chick that I met off of Tinder, like back in 2014 or something. And her mom had this, you know, infinity billion dollar house up there in Arizona, like in the mountains or, you know, where it's all high and shit. And the shower was pretty much as big as my room that I'm in now. It was fucking ridiculous. So then we, like, popped in beers and shit. And, like, it was dope. And I was like, this is. You were showering with a woman also, Derek.

Yeah. You're not explaining all the context, dude. You're missing like most of the context where I was so great. I'm not finished. I'm not finished. Like I said that scenario, drinking in the shower, stuff like that is great. However, if you choose to drink malt liquor, something's fucking wrong with you. Something is fucked up.

Like nobody's fair. You drink malt liquor to get full and drunk. That is why you do that. You drink malt liquor to get heavy drunk. Yeah, that's fair. You shouldn't be drinking like straight liquor or malt liquor. He was drinking fucking old English. You ever drink.

rank old English before, dude? No. When I was, it's disgusting. Dude, when I was, it's gross. Dude, malt liquor is disgusting. My friends and I, we used to, we had a little bit of money. So I was kind of mad when I, when they just kept actively choosing this shit because like, all these gutter puns would always just get, you know, Mickey's 2-11 fucking king cobra,

all of that shit. And I'm like, yo, we can get real beer. Why are you drinking this shit? It's fucking gross. Have you, what was that, what was the drink that we had with, uh, Jack's films and Eric Common etiquette Are you talking about that

That liquor That one The liquorish kind of It was It was Hmm I'm I keep

Okay so I keep wanting to say Scuma But that's a Skyrim thing Oh yeah scum Is it But like I Was it Wait Sambuka

Is that a thing I think it's Sambuka I think you're right I think you're right That sounds right Yeah Yeah I think you're right

I'm not a fan It's so fucking weird I'm not a fan at all. I was, I was like really pretending to be into it. I was like, ah, yeah,

it's a party, right, yeah. And I remember like, downing that shit and crying. I, a tear left my eye at least once while I was drinking that shit.

Dude, I remember, I remember there'd be times. This is the, this is what I was at my probably lowest mentally, but I thought I was having a great time in my life. We would all, it would be third period every,

every fucking day. Me and my friends would go into the bathroom on the second floor in my high school, and Bikipsey High School. and we would all smoke and drink and like dance in the bathrooms. You would be smoking, we would be smoking like fucking dirt weed, drinking fucking, drinking fucking four locals,

like having like a little dance party in the bathroom. And I remember one time some kid walked in, he would just walk back out. He was like, I'm not going to be a part of this. And I was like this, when I look back on it, because one of my friends sent me a video

into like the old basketball team Facebook group. and I was like, what was wrong with us? I know, you were having, we were having the time of our lives, apparently, and it's so sad. It's the saddest thing I've ever seen in my life. I will never fucking forget. I went to Catholic school,

and I remember walking, and this is when I was in, like, fucking maybe fifth grade, and I remember walking into the bathroom, sub kid had a beer, and he was trying. I, he was, I don't know for sure what he was,

doing, but it looked as I look back on it as an adult and reflecting on it, it looked as if he was trying to suck himself. And I remember with a beer, a fifth grade, a drunk fifth grader in the bathroom.

And I remember being like, I walked in. I walked in. I didn't make eye contact. I just peed at the urinal. I walked away. I did look at him. Just remember this. This came flooding back into my memory just now. That's wild. That's so wild. I thought I was at my lowest.

I was at least in like 10th grade That was a fifth grader Fucking trying to suck his own dick Drunk No I need All the facets of this It's a drunk child In a Catholic school

Trying to suck himself off That was the weirdest fucking thing You think the priest fucking told him To like practice Or what do you think that was We gotta calm down You gotta calm down Derek You fucking immediately went for the guy

You were like yes it's time. I mean, that's what I would assume too. I mean, when I hear Catholic school and drunk kid trying to suck them off, I'm like, I'm pretty sure someone whispered in his ear to try. It's a fair, it's a fair assumption,

but we didn't have priests at that Catholic school. It was just, it was basically just a public school with, like, a religion class. And we went to the church around the corner from the school, I guess, but it wasn't really connected. It's weird.

Like, the archdiocese in New York is really weird. I don't know. Either that, or you're just covering for the priest that had you all suck your own dicks or something. I don't know. Why are you going to put the energy out there, Derek? What is up with you in these fucking extreme narratives? You know what I'm, no, I'm sick of fucking, I'm sick of pedophile priest being protected, all right?

I'm fucking sick of that shit. I'm not protecting them, but like you're just trying to create these stories, bro. I don't know. It sounds like you're trying to protect him. Sounds like you have something. I was defending your bitch ass. Fuck it. He was out there.

He was out there sucking as many dicks as he could. Fuck it, Chris. Have fun. Have fun. All right. So that's the worst meals we've ever eaten. No, dude. I was doing a bachata, fucking drunkish shit holding a four loco smoking a blunt that was pretty much a roach already.

So is that your lowest low? Is that rock bottom? That was my rock bottom, definitely. That's your rock bottom. That's your lowest low. And that was only 18. You've definitely seen my lowest low already. Yeah, I've seen your lowest low.

It was pretty bad. that lowest I was what part I think we may have talked about this in the podcast already but like I just remember

drinking for an entire fucking day nonstop like hard liquor mixing mixing beers I had like vodka I had fucking fireball

I had whiskey I had like fucking several beers I had like just an insane amount of alcohol and the next day I didn't get out of bed until eight

or nine o'clock at night and I was like just screaming in my pillow just moaning in just pure pain. The thing about that is that you were an adult already. Yeah, I was, that wasn't even that long ago.

I was a kid. That was even that long ago. That was, that was like three years ago. What, what reason? Why did this even happen? It was a party,

man. Okay. It was just a party. I woke up and I, I don't know, I think I was just like miserable at the time. And I just remember waking up and I was just like, all right,

I've woken up, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be drunk as shit today. The thing is that you didn't drink a lot yet. That's probably the thing. You didn't drink a lot yet. And you didn't really know what you could. I did. I did drink a lot and I knew that it was a bad thing, but I did it anyway because I just didn't want to fucking deal with the day.

Because remember, like, when you came here with us in 2016, I had already been here, like, for, I had spent like three months here with Jalen drinking fucking constantly. Oh, true. Like, we were getting drunk a lot. I mean, fuck, even Vegas. when Derek and Jalen and I went to Vegas, I don't remember most of what happened. Yeah, because I was definitely drinking most of the time. Yeah, you guys drank a lot.

Yeah, like a lot. Yeah, I'm glad that I skipped out on one of the nights you guys went out. I don't remember why. I think I was just like, oh, I'm good, but you guys, I don't know. I don't know, man. I fucking, I just can't drink like the way I used to, man. I can't do that anymore. Yeah, yeah, that's fair.

I mean, I would imagine I imagine I'm getting pretty close to that I want to have at least one last big like ridiculous hurrah with like Pedialite in abundance on deck just so I don't have to deal with the consequences Like a backpack full of pediolite and Gatorade Could you imagine?

Look, look man getting Getting drunk is fucking fun It's just Hangovers are just such a bitch I've had only two hangovers in my life And they've been really really really bad Yeah I didn't get a ton of them It was mostly when I did drink the terrible

Like malt liquor. Usually when it was drinking that terrible shit, I'd feel like absolute trash. Man, I had permanent acid reflux for like the entirety of like my senior year. It was just all of the, it was to the point where I remember my mom even, she thought I was on drugs. But it was just like, I just like, no, mom, I'm not doing drugs. She was like, why are you sleeping so fucked up? You're making all these weird sounds like past my room. And I'm like, I don't know.

I'm just fat, you know, like because I would just fucking eat like super nachos and fucking drink 40s. And it just fucked me up. And, you know, of course, I didn't tell her like, no, I don't fucking do drugs. I'm just fucking drinking all the time. You know, I didn't tell her that. I remember one time I ate the worm from Moscato and then I downed a four loco. And I literally kid you not, I don't know what was happening the rest of the night. Like, I feel like I was sitting down in a dark room and the dark room was a car going really fast.

That's what I felt like was going on the whole night. I was like, I'm fucking, I don't know what the fuck's happening right now. Dude, you just fucking reminded me of something. I think. So I used to party with this, this, this. I used to be in this metal band and they were from Norwalk. So I'd go over there to party sometimes. And I don't know why I kept going back because badship always kept happening.

There was a shooting. People were getting robbed or whatever the fuck was happening. But I would keep going back because I'm like, God, these fucking parties are dank. And one time, I think I got somebody slipped something, not in my drink, but like there was a drink that was, I thought maybe it was somebody I knew and it was just sitting there and, of course, it was a four local because that. That drink was popping in 2010. And everything went wrong that could have went wrong that night. Because I was fucked up out of my mind. I didn't know what was happening.

There was a pit bull in the backyard that bit my foot because I was wearing flip-flops. And I was like, what the, why me? And then there was people fighting by my car and they broke my fucking sideview mirror. And then I ended up just falling asleep in somebody's random house. I had no idea where the fuck I was. I was like, all right. I think that was, I was like, never again. I'm no more never no more for loco that's what I kept parting but I just blamed it on for loco

The alcohol is a fucking madness man Dude that's yeah that show was so fucked up the ratio of Alcohol caught a caffeine was yeah yeah yeah yeah I drink that shit in school I've actually never had it I drink that shit inside of school like I was drinking it sitting down in school a lot And they were like oh it's just a Arizona and I'm like yeah it's Arizona Fucking drunk your shit staring at them my head fucking on a swivel It's Arizona Yeah, it's fine

Then I'd have to go up to I'd have to go up to the fucking board I'd be fucking stomping and bumping And everybody else On my way up to the fucking board And just saying shit that didn't make sense So let's move on to some of these other questions Incredibus Disappointus wrote

And he says Would you ever get Lyle and Phil's from Swagaligan on the show I can only imagine talks between Phil and Tom I don't know It's been So we want to get guests on but we have to plan that, like, in advance because I feel like...

Here's the deal. If we have four guests, it's gonna... Or if we have, like, a guest, then that's gonna be four audio tracks. And that's, like, a huge bitch to edit. So I think if we ever have guests on,

we'll probably just, like, do very little editing, if any, and just sort of see if it's almost like a live stream, kind of, just to make sure it's, like, reasonable. And not so much of a bitch to Because like four audio tracks is a lot Like it's a lot to sync up

There's a lot to fucking do it Three is already Three is already a lot It's a lot easier with like just two But like you know So there will be guests surely But and we'll let you guys know well in advance When we're planning that stuff

I definitely want to get Phil on I definitely want to get Or I definitely want to get Lyle on I definitely want to get Zach for sure I want Mick on Absolutely very badly

there's plenty of people that I'd mark Mark after dark I would love to have a lot of people on but you know we just got to plan ahead and just sort of make sure that we um you know

I want to give you guys some time to ask to prepare some questions for these people too very much so so you'll know believe me you'll know when we have guests on we'll let you know ahead of time yeah

that's hot um my fucking august is dogging the fuck out of his wife ah that's hot. Fucking pogo sticking her, man. Fucking fresh cuckabella. God damn.

Oh, no. Getting jiggy with it. No, no, no, no, no, all right,

all right, all right, all right, all right. Let's calm the fuck down. Hey, Chris, hold on,

hold on. Before you go forward, uh, what, what the fuck should we do, uh, as far as, um,

like when we have the plans to do, like, live video and shit and going back to, like, the, our regular plans, Like, what the fuck should we do about that show? Are we going to talk about that at some point?

Or are we still trying to do that or what? I don't know. I think if we could do a video, but the problem is this podcast, I mean, I don't edit it anymore, but like, based on what I remember, this is a pretty highly edited podcast. I mean, compared to a lot of stuff that you would see. I feel like a lot of people just sort of record and just sort of upload whatever the fuck they have. And that's not really what this show is. there are a lot of cuts that you might not be aware of because it's audio

and if it were to translate to video I feel like it would just be fucking awkward as shit there'd be a lot of jump cuts there'd be a lot of like cutting so I think maybe what we could try to do once we get you know a decent amount of support and once we get like enough of the planning stages done I think what we can do is we can have a video version of the podcast

that is relatively uncut, which would be the video version, right? So that'll be for free on, like, fucking, you know, the YouTube channel. Okay. And really only the YouTube channel. And it'll be uncut. It'll be, like, a little bit longer,

but obviously, like, not as tightly edited. And on Patreon and on the podcast services, it'll be a more tightly knit, a more, I think, quality because of the editing that would go into it, a quality experience to listen to. Yeah. But the whole pandemic thing really kind of threw things kind of to the wayside.

You throw a wrench. Or, like, because I had an entire living room set up for, like, a physical recording space. Yeah. And, you know, now we just have to do this from home. And it actually kind of works out a little bit better because it's a lot easier to edit the audio this way. So it's still on the plans, but it's, I wouldn't expect it anytime soon. If you guys are asking about it, you know, there's a lot of factors that go into it. But we're still planning on it.

It's just, it's just way on. in the distance now because of everything that's going on. When the world heals, we'll start working on stuff like that. And we'll give you guys more than enough information about it. I heard that we're going to, I heard whispers and rumbles that we may be getting a fucking vaccine in the fall actually. We made, because they've been working their ass off. But for example, somebody went to high school with just sent me a video of people freaking out about it. like, oh, this doctor that specializes in bullshit is saying that, you know, it's just some

great conspiracy theory stuff. And it's, it's highly entertaining. I really, I would like to share it with you guys so you guys can have a nice, good laugh with it. And I'm like, I can't, I can't do the whole conspiracies when it come to COVID because it's like, this is just so fucking, this has been such a bitch that if anything that is been like, anything fucked up, if that becomes, comes to, I'm like, well, I just fucking, I can't do it no more.

Let's, let's not, let's not talk too much about it. I'm a fucking swan-ton bond off a fucking building. I'm like, I can't do this anymore. I don't know. While we're talking about the podcast, though, I did kind of float the idea on Patreon of maybe like one exclusive episode a month on the Patreon just for exclusively just for people who donate. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That I think could be kind of fun just with like maybe like two of us. So like depending on the subject, like if there's like a, I don't know if there's like a metal. basically like we talked about doing like themed episodes. Oh, okay. So like, oh hey, you know, like if there's like a, if there's an episode that's all about like metal, that's exclusive to the, to patrons and that'll be like you and probably me because I don't know if Sweeney would really have much to say. I know about it, but not enough. I just want to be Sweeney.

Just to be Sweeney. I can listen. I can go to what you guys could do. We'll have themed podcasts, but we'll have the person who knows the least about the thing. So that would be funny. I go through like a whole month of listening in the Meadow and you guys just give me like a whole fucking like a fucking quiz on it. And I'm like, honestly, I've been a fan of this band for about a week and a half. And their sounds are very, very abrasive, brutish. But the guitar playing is just fan fucking-tastic.

But yeah, so that's an idea I sort of floated around a little bit. I think people are kind of open to it. I think it'd be a nice easy way to do it because that's evergreen stuff. It doesn't have to be on a deadline. It's just like really kind of heavily based on, you know, just subjects and we take questions for it. And I think it'd be a good idea. That works. I like that.

Give patrons a little bit of an extra boom for their buck. Yeah. That's hot. But yeah, I don't know. Let us know how you guys feel about that. Yeah. I think, I have a great idea. I just want to play it out real quick.

I think a great episode would be like fucking around with clips. Like, play an audio clip and see. like audio clips of Keith David and then try to guess who he's portraying. Like a like a little, that would be fucking solid. That's an exclusive Keith David podcast. That'd be good. These are all possible. Egregious, uh, egregious, long name, Rodin.

And he says, uh, actions and jokes such as blackface or saying the dreaded N-word, do not carry implicit moral context or automatically. make you a bad person. They like every other action and word in the world are morally neutral actions are entirely context dependent. So that was a, that was a, because we talked a lot about this. I think either the last, was it the last episode or the one before?

I probably the one before, because I don't really remember talking about it the last one. I mean, yeah, I think this is a pretty generic statement. That's a statement. But the thing is that to be willing to do that in the first place, you have to understand the context in the beginning. Like, you shouldn't, you just shouldn't do that. Like, as simple as that. It's, at the very, at the very least, it's just kind of impolite. It's indicative of this disrespectful, because, like, you shouldn't do that.

It's like, it's like. But for sure, but for sure, like, if you, if you grow up in a society, if you grew up in, like, the fucking bush, you know, and you're just, like, living in the fucking trees or, like, in the fucking woods. Oh, that's understandable. And then you, and then you, like, put black pain on your face. That's, obviously, it's, it's technically still black face, but it's obviously not racist because there's no knowledge or really any, and, inherent, you know, black face is literally just paint on a face. Like, there's nothing inherently racist. What's the context? Because the thing is that the idea of black face originally was

just like you'd have the big, the black, the actual like, look, I know a lot of black people. The only person I know that's actually the color black is my dad. My dad is the color black. He is a fucking nubian man. He is a fucking. He's a fucking. He's an ebony fucking mountain of a human. Yeah, Vanta black.

Like he's just fucking lich just sucking. Like he's a little. My father is black. My dad is the color black. He is black. But most people aren't black skinned. You know, most people are brown skinned.

But the thing is that if the thing about black face was like you do the whole, you do the black skin over your face and then you do the fucking comedically big lips. And that was idea of it. If someone comes from like fucking Amazon and they wear like actual black paint on their faces, just to cover their faces straight up, that's different context. You know, that's just how. But if you're fucking. If you're here, if you're here and you walk around with, like, if I was to say, I wouldn't do this.

This is fucking ridiculous. I would laugh if I saw it. But, like, if some guy fucking tucked taped his eyes really, really thin, far apart and started walking around and making like buck tooth and pressures of Asian man, that's the suspect because it's the context of it. Like, we know better. We all know better. We just shouldn't do that. Yeah. I would say pretty much anything is context dependent.

Very much so true. I think most things are pretty context dependent. There are very few things that are inherent. evil. I think probably rape is really the only thing that I think is like there's no just, like there's justification to kill someone. But not to

murder. Murder is different. Well, that's what it's called. They call it justifiable homicide if it's like... That's what, yeah. Like, if someone's coming at you with a knife, you have a like in trying to kill you, you have a... I wouldn't consider that inherently evil that you killed that person who's trying to kill you. But like, there's no...

But, yeah, I know. But what I'm saying is like even murder isn't like inherent. evil. No murder. Murder is justifiable homicide. Taking it. Toting a shoe in life is not inherently fucking evil. There you go. That's how you say it. You know what you meant, asshole. I mean, hey man, some people might not. But there's no

but there's no justification to like rape another human being. Like that I think is like inherently kind of like there's there's no wiggle room around there. There is no law of justifiable rape. Yeah. There's no like. I couldn't even imagine someone attempting to justify it. I would just be like, what is happening right now? And people are listening to him? And I'm like, are you guys listening to this?

That's like if someone was raping someone and then the person they were raping decided to rape them back, which at that case, at that point, at that point. It's a bonanza. It's a bonanza. I can't be a part of that. I can't even talk about that. That's a whole psychological whirlwind. But, yeah, like, I would agree. Most, most things are context dependent and not.

not everything is inherently evil or inherently good or anything. Like if, if, like, an English teacher reads the N-word in a book, like, I don't think that makes them like a fucking terrible person. Yeah. But, you know, like, I don't know. Maybe just, you know, there are certain things we don't do. Being naked isn't inherently evil either.

But maybe don't, you know, show up to a fucking middle school naked. Yeah, that's a good idea. But, like, let's say the teacher, like, let's say the teacher is reading the N-word, right? And then some kid makes a noise that she gets them, she freaking out of anger calls him N-word. Like, oh, man, that's when it, that's when I get spicy. That would be different. That would be, that would justify, that would justify some, that would justify some level of, of, homicide.

What? Mainly, yeah, just kill them. Somebody calls me to N-word, I'm killing them. Oh, man. No conversation. But yeah, I think that's, I think that's fair. That's a fair point. I don't think anybody really would disagree with that.

I'm sure there's some people who are like a little bit... Anyone sensible would be like, yeah, that's... You're right. You're very much so right. So, all right. Sweeney pants, wrote in. Oh, Sweeney's pants. Okay. He wrote in. He says,

Hello, tiny boy, hateful spirit, and chill guy. Okay, I guess. You are a hateful spirit. I don't hate that much. Well, you're hateful enough for me to know that that was directed towards you and none of us... But you hate more than I do. Yeah, but I'm also tiny. That's true.

So I'm obviously a tiny boy That's your character point You're tiny Yeah The man that chance hate Before he goes to sleep Is not that hateful Okay

I'm not as hateful as him That's so I'm not saying I'm not hateful I am Fuck I hate a lot You're way more hateful than I am Nah Let's not get into this

Because I'm just I'm too right to have this conversation Okay Would you rather only So he says Would you rather Would you rather only be able to jack off to furry hentai

or every time you have sex a bunch of furries appear and watch you. You can't bitch out of either scenarios. Oh my god. Oh, easily. Easily the fucking ladder, bro. Easily. I'll get used to having an audience, even if they're fucking furries.

I can used to have an audience, but it would just be like yeah, it would just basically be like fucking in an empty Chuckie cheese. What if you're not in a game that day and the furries fucking laugh at you? And you can't laugh at by fucking furries. It's just you're fucking in an empty Chucky Cheese is basically what it is. You're just like looking in front of all these fucking stupid animatronics.

No, but everyone has an off day. I assume everybody has an off day. Oh, for sure. And it's just like, imagine one day you're like, oh, man, I was a little more quick and like furries. Like, ha ha, ha, you fucking suck. You jizz your pants, you fucking loser. And these are furries making fun of you. What if it gets to the point where you grow so accustomed to having them there that?

You can't fuck without them being there? Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's just such a, that's such a macro fucking statement. That's the, that's the, that's the catch, is that, like, it'll get you really used to it, right? And it'll be like, it'll seem like a terrible thing for a while. And then, like, one day they'll vanish. And you'll have no idea where they went.

You'd have no context to where they've gone or, like, how long they'll be gone for, or if it's permanent or not. And now you've grown used to having them watch you. So you just kind of, I would even know, like, pull up, like, five nights of Freddy's JPEGs on your, on your desktop. And you fucking print to and put them all over your fucking room. Cardboard cutouts. And a girl walks in, he's like, what is this? Don't worry about it. I need it.

I need this. All right? All right. I need this. That's so fucking. Yeah, but I think that's the obvious answer, though, still. Yeah, nobody wants to jacks off. No one wants a jack off to that shit.

That's fucking crazy, dude. No regular person wants to at least. Nobody who doesn't already do that wants to do that. Exactly. I'm just like Tell me what is Attract what I don't know man

Like I like the curvature of a woman And then her parts Her ass and her breasts and her breasts and stuff I like humans What is Preferably human women Like what is the furry is not that At all

It's it's I don't understand how you can I don't know I guess it's just your wiring Just so fucked How did you feel how did you feel about Lola from Space Jam That's a bunny Yeah That's it

That's a bunny, not a person But she was obviously Designed with a very specific Yeah to try to be I get I think you think that's probably a lot of people That was a catalyst probably for a lot of people To get in the furries then I guess

I think so I mean like she's fucking She looks like a woman Except for her fucking face I didn't like I don't know she has rabbit feet Literally But Who the fuck is looking at the feet

I've seen the person She's a rabbit She fucking runs around With rabbit feet She has rabbit like hands She has fucking bugs Bunny's weird ass fucking hands. Listen, listen.

If you're checking out Lola Bunny's feet, I'm not gonna judge you. Whatever, okay. One thing I didn't like ever was, what you call it, was on who framed Roger Rabbit? I didn't find a wife hot because I thought she was a rabbit

somehow. I didn't know she was a human. Because her last name is Rabbit? Like, yeah, like I thought she was a rabbit somehow. I was like, somehow she's a rabbit and I can't think that's hot. That's a rabbit.

Jessica Rabbit? I think is Jessica. I was like, she's, her name is Jessica Rabbit. She's a fucking rabbit somehow. So where the fuck is she a rabbit at? Oh, it's probably that rabbit pussy. That's probably what you used.

I can't see it, so I don't want to fuck this. Like it's like furry and shit. Ew, ew. I'm pretty sure she's just married to a fucking rabbit, Sweeney. That makes her fucking worse probably, actually. It makes her fucking worse than being a rabbit. Fucking maniac. You do have a point.

That is kind of weird that you. Yeah, because then on one hand, she's just a rabbit. But on the other hand, she's a human who fucks him. So it's, it is definitely. Definitely like way worse. Look, I don't hate you if you fuck animals, but you need help. All right, for real. What?

I mean, I don't hate you, I guess, because I don't think about you. I don't hate you. I don't hate you. I don't hate you, but like, you need to get some fucking, you need to get rewired, bro. You need to talk to someone and get into some fucking. Do you think if they fell? I'm not going to say that. What?

I don't know, man. Let's move on. Like, I can't. I can't with that shit, bro. Like, you need to, I'm going to stop saying shit. Let's move on. What's next? Don't over call me, doll

Remember that shit? Oh my God Stop, stop I don't actually She's a rabbit I can't look at her That's a Lola Bunny man The orc

The orc war boss Rock Eats Masha wrote in He says What up black Big Black And blinded by the light You are cursed By a witch

To transform into an animal Of your choosing How fucking Topical Every full moon You choose what animal You still Wait what?

Is that? Am I reading this right? You choose one animal, and you still retain your intellect in that form. Oh, okay. Now you're into, okay, gotcha. Are humans technically animals? Yes, we're mammals. No, we're not, technically.

We're not going to go from there. We're fucking, we're not going to, because if we just turn into a human and like, ah, that's just kind of undoes the whole entire magical aspect. No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, my God. It means it, because I'm not saying I turn into myself. I'm just saying I turn into a human. So at night, I could turn into a completely different person and live this completely double life.

Yeah, that's a bit of a, that's a bit of a, of a cop out and we and yeah it it not a bit it is a cop out I would choose to turn into our Casey Knight's that and I'd run around as him for all fucking I I just I just googled our human secondly animals as of course humans can be called animals we are animals of course they're mammals but it's just like you're lawyering and it's gay like we don't like that shit why do you do this why can't you just fucking comply slightly that mean what do you mean Chris you're cheating that means you gay

nah man I got news for you. No, I just, I don't know, I like to think outside of the box. Yeah, you should be put inside the box. Yeah, good, I would like to. And then buried and then buried and sat on fire. You don't think I've dreamt about it? I mean, hey, you could always do it, man.

Nah, I can't wake up in a box. Ain't none to it but to do it, you know? That's actually one of the biggest things that used to freak me out is, like, being buried alive. Oh, yeah. I don't even know why. Like, I don't think I've ever seen really any media about it, but it was just like always in my head. It's like, how did these people are dead?

That's it just suffocating. Other than that, I'd be fine. It's the fact that you're just in this box that's so small that you can't really move around. So you have like no, you have no agency. I'd adapt. Like at all. I'd be like, you wouldn't adapt. I would.

I doesn't want to suffocate. Because you would, you especially would be crammed in there. That's horrible. I would obviously get a box as my fuck relative to my fucking size. No, I don't think so. What the fuck? I'm not going to get a box your size, Chris. What the fuck?

I'm not going to fit in that box. They're not going to waste. They're not going to waste more fucking good wood. They're just going to have to put me in a box to put a dead person in. I'm said to be putting a box that I fit in They're not gonna put me in a box Your size I can't fit in that box They'll probably like fold your legs back

Oh my fucking God They give you a fucking baby coffin They'll be like a beach chair They're gonna get up like a beach chair They're gonna get up like a beach chair They're gonna get me a medium size fucking present box And they're gonna put me in that

And then fucking bury that shit Dude that's the worst right there Break me Your fucking angles are right by your fucking ears then it's shut and locked That's what You ever heard of getting bugs bunnies?

Oh my God Oh my God Bugs bunnies When you bend a woman's legs Behind her head And make her body Look like bugs bunny's head Because her legs

Look at his ears Yo I get it I understand I understand But that's fucking I'm gonna I'm gonna use that

Thank you Thank you so much That's so stupid I don't know I don't know. If I, if I, if you're not allowed, if I'm not allowed to be creative and I'm allowed to only go into the confines of the question. Really? No, no, no.

So, I just found a loophole in this that allows me to be a different person, but like, all right. I'll do the generic thing and I'll find something. I want to be, you know what, I want to be a lizard. What? I want to be a lizard. I want to be able to lick my own fucking eyes. Oh, there you go. Yeah, that's, like that was the, that was the, that was the, that was the, you know.

thing that convinced you. It's like, what? Oh, oh, yeah. I don't know, man. I could look their own out. Licking your eyes sounds pretty. Yay. I don't know. Yeah, not pretty. I got news for you.

That means you're a lizard. I don't know what I would choose. I thought I would be a what you call it. I'd probably turn into like a falcon, like a paragraph falcon, just fly around real fast. Some fucking hick is going to shoot you out of the sky. By accident, too. It's not even going to be on purpose. He's just going to be skeet shooting and you're just going to be in the fucking.

Well, perfect. Then I'm dead. I was a falcon for a little while, then I'm dead. Blessings, a hoi. Do you go to, wait, do you go to Falcon heaven? There's heaven specifically for Falcons. And that's it, though. But that's it, though. There's no, there's no, not for every specific animal, just for Falcons.

Yeah, just for Falcons. It's humans and Falcons. Oh, my God. And carpenter ants. Because there are so many. Oh, my God. I can't even, I don't even know where to start anymore. Like, what would you become, Derek?

Man, I'm not a falcon. I just like flying around. Well, I got news. I don't know what I would be. Because I was going to say some type of bird, but you kind of stole that. So I'm like, all right, fuck it. Be an owl, so you could, like, swivel your head around until it breaks. I did.

I actually, that was before he claimed a bird, I was going to say I want to be an owl because I just want to fucking claw people's eyes out in the middle of the night. You know, you see some nice. What the fuck is wrong with you? What the fuck is? You can do that now, technically, you jackass. Yeah, you could. That's a really creepy.

That's a really creepy answer. I just want to... I picked a lizard because I just want to be able to... I picked a lizard because I just want to be able to lick my own eyes and crawl out of my own skin and have a husk of my own skin that I can taxidermy and do like a version of myself. That's pretty cool. That it used to be.

And for me, I told the falcons. I could fly up real high and stop flying and falls on my death. But picture this. Picture this. Picture this. You're flying at night, full moon. Fucking. You see this lovely couple, like, you know, walking, holding hands and shit.

And they're like, oh, I just admiring it. There's a lake right. there and then here comes me swooping down with my head turned all the way around because I'm that fucking skillful and then I jack one of their eyes each in one fell swoop. You can't tell me you would not be impressed by seeing some shit like that. I would be impressed but I'd be like why the fuck did it do that? We have to kill that owl. It's dangerous.

Yeah. Any animal that can systematically hunt things that it's not even looking at is very Very dangerous. If your head was like completely swiveled around and you were just looking at the sky, like taking in the fucking B B of the fucking galaxy while you were plugging these people's eyes out of their skulls, that's a whole, that's a whole different ballgame, man. That's not a normal owl. Yeah, that's a fucking insidious creature.

That creature has fucking plants for the world and we got to kill it. You ever seen an owl with like, like inside, you know, where its ears should be, where it's just like hollow and you can see the fucking brain and shit? Never, never looked on the owl's head before Oh yeah, inside the owl's ear It's just completely hollow You can just see you can see the backs of their eyes through their ears Yeah, it's really it's really fucking It's really it's really enerving

But I love owls though I wish I I'll just choose that That's my answer They are really cool No no I wouldn't want to do that Nevermind because then I turn into a sea creature I was going to talk about the pistol shrimp

But like I don't want to be something that lives in the water I don't respect that Yeah they're literally bottom feeders also I would become an octopus try to convince other octopus to kill themselves. They don't need to be convinced. They just do that. No, like immediately.

Like all at the same time, like mass suicide. Dude, octopar are fucking aliens, dude. Like, you can't convince me otherwise. They're fucking star-filing creatures. It's like the two millionth time I've heard this guy. It's, fuck, it's real shit. It's like, it's not... I know, I understand.

We got to keep talking about it because no one's paying attention to it and it's going to lead the serious fucking ramifications eventually. Dude, the reason, the downfall for man is going to be because we keep eating these intelligent creatures. And one day, Like the ultimate octopus alien spaceship's going to come down, right? And then it's going to be like revenge and they're all going to beak our eyes out or whatever, however octopus would kill you or some shit. Just mark my fucking words.

It's not going to be. You know how. Keep David is not going to come to save us or Kim Jong-il or Un, whichever one it was. I don't even fucking remember. Do you know how old, you know how old middle-aged depressed dads will sometimes put on like their old high school jersey? and they'll like, and they'll, like, think about, like, they'll reminisce and they'll just sigh about how far they've fallen. Do you think, do you think if humans evolved from lizards, they would save their high school shedded skin and then put their shedded skin on and be like, ah, the good old days. Well, reptiles usually eat their shedded skin, so I don't know.

But we'd be a human society, so, essentially, so we'd have, like, food and like normal shit. Yeah, but, no, I mean, we're still monkeys and we don't throw our shit at each other. But we have bases We like to climb and shit I mean I just like speak for yourself I don't throw my shit I don't throw my shit up

I don't know I don't know That's just fucking that's so fucking That's so primitive I don't know I think it's worth thinking about If you come in contact with your shit You're not a human

You're not even a creature You're not even a creature You're just something fucking out If you if you choose If you choose to come in contact With your shit after you've expelled There's something fucking wrong with you Have you guys seen that

I know you I would be shocked if neither of you have seen this, but there's this video, I think Undead Scribe tweeted it. And it's this video of like, it's this guy and his girlfriend is climbing over him. It's like this weird like TikTok. I know what you're talking about. And she's like climbing over him and it's like almost like he's holding her and she's upside down and he's, she's behind him.

And he just fucking diarrhea explodes out of his shorts. And she falls to the ground in the fucking shit. She's gagging and choking. What? And she walks off screen. It's the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen. What is, and I don't.

What is it from? I don't know what it's from. I just saw it on Twitter. And like, oh my God, I'm so sad that I didn't fucking bookmark it because it was the funniest thing I've ever seen. But,

yeah, don't, uh, don't come into contact with your own shit. Ever, ever. Or somebody else's especially. Yeah.

Don't come in contact with shit, bro. We're supposed to be away from that shit. That's why we leave it places. It can't move. It can't move behind us. That's why even dogs fucking try to bury. Yeah, typically, yeah. I mean, most animals...

You got no excuse. Yeah, most animals, they know better. And there's a lot of humans out there that... Don't. They indulge for whatever fucking reason. And I was just listening to a podcast, Dr. Drew at the dark. And they were just talking about it. They're like, I don't understand how people get over, like, the smell,

and how they can just fucking just indulge and shit. And it's wild. It doesn't make any fucking sense at all. Just a bunch of slovenly psychopaths, man I just don't understand Yeah, there's probably somebody listening right now Offended, like, well, it's fucking, it's great Yeah, good, good

I don't care, I don't care about offending you If you're wallering around and shit on purpose Then have fun, have a good time Still support us on Patreon by all means, but like Half like getting sick, you dumb dumb We love your shitty money Pretty good, yeah, we don't have to touch it Because our money is entirely fictional anyway, so...

That is so true All right, what do we got? here. What do we got here? Wretched Spawn wrote in. He says, here's a short and sweet question. If Keith David came out as a fur... This is a very furry... Yeah, what's going on here? I don't know. Oh, you know what? Because we had that furry conversation last time where I said I would want to be a bat, like a long, skinny bat. I don't remember that. Fuck.

No, maybe I had that. Maybe I had that in my own head. Yeah, possibly. Anyway, if Keith David came out as a furry and said he'll only act in anthropomorphized animal roles in the future, both for animated films and live action films in his custom-made fur suit would you guys still be a fan of him yes uh yeah i'd be a fan of him so i wouldn't i wouldn't fuck with him as much but i still be a fan i think i would transcend uh the furry suit i think yeah i think so because he's all his voice like everything about him is his voice so if like i heard that voice coming out of a furry suit like even if i didn't like what i was seeing i would i almost would have no choice but to but to but to but to feel like i'm not i i i don't know i i i feel like i I was in the presence of something greater.

You know? Yeah. I think... I would be heartbroken a little bit. I'd be like, oh, man, really? Yeah. They got Keith. But then I'd be like, you know what?

These are just regular people like me. They just choose to be in suits. So I'm going to, I'm going to accept him for who he is. And maybe I'd accept Furries in general. Then I'd realize I can't accept Ferries. Oh, sure. Because they've stolen so much from me. There's a movie, though.

There's a movie where, Ron Perlman plays a furry. Really? I mean... Yeah, I'm not even kidding. I think this is real. I think... Hellboy?

I don't think... I don't think I'm making... I don't think I'm making this up. Yeah, it's true. Wait, am I wrong? Are we talking about Hellboy? I think it's called Bigfoot. I don't know if it's called Bigfoot.

I know it's just some dude's wife is fucking Ron Perman as a furry and he's dressed as like a wolf furry or some shit like that. We watched the beginning of it in our old apartment before he moved. Yeah. Is it... Oh, it's called Pottersville, I think. Maybe. And, uh, yeah, Ron Perlma just plays a fucking, I don't know.

You sure this isn't, this is a real thing. I mean, I, I, I, probably. If he was a furry in that movie, that show, I'd be confused. I watched that whole show. So I'd be like, when the fuck did he have a fur salon? Yo, that doesn't even sound like something that wouldn't happen in Sons of Anarchy. Yeah, for definitely, like, they went to Ireland for a while. So, like, I don't fucking know, man.

Dude, that show, that show got as weird as the plot as, um, as, uh, Red Dead 2, or it just, it just goes so far off the rails like oh we're in fucking this other country now and all this weird shit's happening what you call it doesn't really do it that well it's like that episode of Breaking Bad where Jesse is in space what

what you don't remember that you remember that one off episode that series season finale for season three where Jesse Pinkman goes in a rocket ship and he lands on the moon and he goes Mr. White I'm stuck on the mode bitch and fucking Walt is like Jesse, I told you not to go to the moon You don't remember that?

I'm out of here What the fuck? I'm fucking out of here. This is not me. This is not safe. I'm not safe here anymore. Stay out of this territory. I always supposed to cook when you're on the moon, Jesse.

We can't cook while you're on the moon, Jesse. That's a whole plot where it's like he has to figure out how to do chemistry on the moon where like fucking gravity is entirely. That's fake. That's not true. you gotta do chemistry you gotta somehow make it so the liquid sink

I can't imagine that taking place in that show but I also can vividly imagine how it would go I can't let's next question please god fucking damn it boy wonder wrote in he says what if Breaking Bad had an episode

where Jesse went to the moon oh my god I'm just kidding I was looking for the talk I was looking at the talk I was like no fucking way Where is it? No next question is

Is from Cuth Dupid And he wrote in Hello gang I wanted to know What is your favorite Genra A video game I assume

Because it says FPS RPG turn base And it was your favorite Long Range And short range Wept Thanks Derek for your Quick response

On Discord I ask Because I'm currently In development of a snark tank video game, which is full of references to the show and changes how the game... and changes the game genre,

according to if you're playing as Chris Sweeney or Derek. Love the podcast. All right. My favorite game genre is easily fighting games. Fighting games followed by RPGs. So you'd be like an Akuma type,

basically. You'd be like a brawler almost? No, a fair weapon is... I love swords, man. Particularly Katana is some fucking ex-weeb. So you'd be like a sole caliber character, basically? Yeah. And I'd have a...

I'd have like, I don't know. What's my very long-end? Probably, maybe like a mid-bow, instead of like a really ridiculously big short bow, like a mid-bow. Yeah. And this, I'll fucking know, and this is a fucking, like, a cult.

Like, when things get really bad, and I'm going to lose, I was take out my gun and shoot somebody. Yeah. Like, oh, man. I would say short-range shotgun, long-range ray gun. It would have to be a ray gun. Yeah.

Because I just don't know how you would justify making a video game about us and not give me that weapon. Yeah, that makes sense. It would be a waste of an opportunity. It would be sex for you. It would be a sex gun. Just make people fuck you, Derek.

That's it. You shoot a gun and you fuck people. I'm, dude. If that was, oh, man, if that was real,

you'd have to take that shit away from me because that's, I would be, I don't know, would you, if you, if, okay,

in that scenario, would it be considered, if you shot somebody, would it be considered? Let's not going there. Okay. I know you're going. Let's not go there.

Let's not go there. Derek. I'm just saying like Keep it whimsical, okay? Don't bring reality back into it. Okay, all right. Keep that shit away from me, man. I don't think that's too much. No man should have all that power, I'm just saying. None. Yeah, I remember this guy. I answered him on Discord because, yeah, he said he was making something, and I told him about

what kind of stuff. I was saying, like, I love the weapons in Dark Souls, like a Vihander and then a the Dragon Slayer bow, because it's just so fucking over the top ridiculous That part was ridiculous man I can't imagine how insanely powerful you'd have to be

to operate something like that Dude that should that should shoot straight through fucking stone You can have a stone like building And that shit will come straight through the building And probably take you with it Probably drag you along for the ride Yeah it's gotta ridiculous

It's something I've thought about too Throughout history Where if you play fucking RPG games that typically have archers, they're always weak. They're weak bitches because they're ranged. And it's like, oh, they can't really. They have no sustain or anything.

And it's bullshit because to be able to operate longbows, you have to be fucking yoked. And you're, like, extremely powerful. And if you just think about, like, say, the Mongolians, that that was their main choice of weapon, archery on horse, they're fucking beefy motherfuckers. And it kind of just flips it all on its head. And so the thing is that like a lot of people that were trained with bows also trained with swords

Oh yeah you weren't you were never like you would never like you would never just train to use long range weapons Because people can just get close to you. Yeah, then what do you do? So you would have your like your short swords or your daggers on you or something like that to be able to deal with people running up on you. I mean at the same time, you know, you would just always pick the bow, the archer if if they weren't weaker. Yeah. I mean, I was picked mixed. There would be no reason. There would be no reason. Like, if it was, like, realistically mixed, though,

if it was, like, the stats were realistic, there would be no reason not to choose the Archer, though. Well, for sure. The Archer's not going to be as good at close range as, like, the person that's, like, the fighter. But they would be able to do a little bit. They'd be able to be, like, have a little bit of, like, you know, some sort of melee ability,

where they wouldn't just get fucked if someone is right next to them. That's all my ideas. That's, I don't know. That's just balancing of games. Yeah, no, I totally understand why they do it, because you can't have all the advantage. It would be fucked up if someone that was an archer had a bunch of sustain,

like they're just really fucking buff and strong too. So it's like, oh, they can kill me from afar. And it's hard to kill them up close to. Well, that would be fun of fucked up. You wouldn't give the archer the same exact weapon loadout you would give like maybe the fighter. Where they have all the fucking abilities a fighter has. Because that'd be fucked. That would just be a better fighter.

If you could just make this. In fact, you know, Cuth Dupid, it would bring me a great pleasure if you could just scrap this entire game. and just make a game about Jesse Pinkman on the moon. I fucking knew it. I already knew it. Oh, my God. You're going to say that. I think that would be...

We could show up ever so slightly. We could be mentioned in the game. That's it. That's not to be just mentioned. The game's named after us, but it's just... It's using all of Breaking Bad's, like, copyrighted material. But it's named the snarcing, so they won't look at it for a little while, so we'll have, like, a little bit of time we can play it and make it. Yeah.

The cover will just be season one of Breaking Bad. Like, the cover. Or that, you know that picture of him sitting in, like, his fucking hazmat suit on the pile of money? Yeah. Yeah. It'll be that one. But it'll be like, what is this? The snark tank?

Why is it? All right. What? I got the plot, even though it doesn't make sense at all, obviously. But remember when Walter throws the pizza on the, on the roof? Yeah. Well, actually, he threw it, and it made it to the moon. And he has to get it back.

And he got to go get it back. He convinces Jesse to go get it. But Jesse, he wanted him to get it at a sensible time. But Jesse tries to really impress Walter by trying to go immediately. And he's like, no, we need to cook. So he's like furious. And then that's when the calamity ensues, I guess. Yeah, he throws it to the moon.

And he has to get it back because he got two pies for $15. And it'd be such a waste. Oh, my God. He goes to the moon to get a fucking pizza. that fucking Walter White somehow flung to the moon. Well, he didn't, he didn't, if we're being really technical about it, he didn't throw it to the moon. He threw it far enough and fast enough that it broke the atmosphere and was carried by space.

The velocity carried it to the rest of the way. It would still be thrown to the moon because it wouldn't, the space wouldn't change where it would be going. It would just go up wherever to the moon. Right, right, right. But if the atmosphere was like, you know, if, higher up or whatever the fuck, then he probably wouldn't have made it. I can't.

It's just a huge coincidence, okay? Because if he would have thrown it harder, it probably would have missed the moon, right? It would have just, but since everything's moving, he just fucking made it. Oh, you know, he throws the- By the time of travel. And it fucking takes the plane out. Oh, my God. I can't be a part of this any longer. Oh, my God.

We got to move. We got to fucking move on. I'm just going to put fucking I'm just going to have the Breaking Bad fucking branding for this episode Yeah some type of See if we get in trouble See if there's some pizza

Put a pizza in the thumbnail somehow It'll be just a pizza on the roof All right What do we got? My couch pulls out but I don't Rodin nice He says hi Marky Mark and the funky bunch What are your favorite

Hot dog toppings? This is a weird question because I don't think I've ever been asked this. This might be a very controversial. Oh, really? I like sourcrowd a lot. I like sourcrowd a whole bunch. You fucking Nazi. All right.

It's disgusting. Okay, calm the fuck down. You guys can't prove anything. You fucking s-s-s-bitch. What the hell? Sourcrowd, really? Fuck you. Fucking, you fucking eat a bag of dicks.

Fuck you're already eating a bag of dicks by having fucking sourcrout on your hot dog. You fucking traitor. Soutreting dicks. All right, dicks is dix. What's controversial about? What were you going to say? I was just a very, it's just a very debated topic about what you put on your hot dog.

And really, depending on the culture, it seems like everybody has a different answer. Mm-hmm. Like, I don't know. Like me, I'm a,

like, I can tolerate ketchup on it, but I'd prefer just having some mustard on my dog. That's, that's, I really just need mustard on it. I don't need that. Yeah.

But I think I'm in, I'm in agreement. I don't really need much on my hot dog. I like, I like sourcrow. Like, I've grown accustomed to eating it because, because I ate it with, like, hot dogs.

But, like, most of the time, I just get plain hot dogs. Like, plane is just fine. I don't need anything else. Yeah, I don't hate playing either. Especially if it's, like, a grilled hot dog? Grilled hot dogs are delicious. Oh, yeah, I can eat a plane dog that's grilled, for sure. But if it's, like, a boiled hot dog,

if it's, like, one of those standard fucking, like, quick ones that, like, you know, you're just making one just to get food in you. I would, I would... Mustard is ideal. I think it works the best. I don't understand how people can eat a fucking hot dog with ketchup, honestly. It just... It's not.

It's not, I don't, I just don't really care for the sweetness on a dog. Yeah, I don't like ketchup in general. Yeah, ketchup is gross. I certainly don't like it on. Disgusting. Wait, you think ketchup is gross? Yeah, I don't like ketchup at all. I swear to God, no one, I swear to God, everybody I brought this up to you, disagreed with me.

What, that ketchup's gross? Yeah, like, I have always said and everybody's like, what do you mean? How did you hate ketchup? What the fuck you put in your fries? And it's like, what? I don't put anything on my fries. Salt, all I need is salt, dude. And if you can have, like, say, in L.A., most burger joints have season salt on it.

And that shit fucking bomb. Or, like, Cajun fries or something? There's plenty of ways to have fries tasting fucking delicious without dousing them in fucking cereal. Yeah, I don't need, I don't need goop all over my fucking shit. See, that's, to me, that's the biggest problem with people in general that they always try to have everything while they eat. And they don't just... That's America. It's fucking...

It frustrates the fuck out of me, man. It's like, oh, I want to have this fucking hamburger and I want to put everything on it. So it hits every single taste. But I'm like, fuck you. When you start chewing it, it's just a jumbled mess. Like, you don't, you can't like say, you can't enjoy the meat as well because you just need a little bit of salt, a little bit of some spices on it. Maybe a few other things to accent it, but not fucking like seven or eight different toppings on a fucking burger. It's, it's madness to me.

It gets, it gets fucking egregious. I don't know. It's like just a few, a handful of things. And just make it a nice ensemble and then certain things, accent certain things. I understand that. People want too much. People want too much on their stuff. And it's like you're ruining.

You're ruining the taste from everything else. Like that's when you get a plain burger. You get a plain burger. You get some cheese, a little bit of lettuce, a little bit tomato. Because all those tastes are distinctly different from each other. Then bam, it tastes really good. You don't put everything under the fucking sun on your fucking burgers. And they're just going to fuck it up.

Yeah, I really can't get into that stuff. Like, if I ever get a burger, it's usually just like, it's usually, patty cheese lettuce tomato and typically bacon just because i like bacon a lot bacon's great but like the second and it's also like really thin so it like it barely takes up any like real space on the on the burger it just doesn't make it really accents things i understand totally yeah yeah especially if it's on top you know where it's like you have meat at the bottom you have like a little bit of meat at the top it's a nice little uh it's nice little tower power you got yeah but like the second the second it starts getting into the

The second year, if your burger cannot be bitten into by a normal human-sized jaw, then like, just fuck off, honestly. You're not even, there's no way you're enjoying it. It's just a tedious fucking mess that you can't even eat all of it at once, really. Yeah, you can't even have a bite of all the ingredients at once. Fuck you. You fucking chimera wanting assholes. Fuck you guys.

It is, honestly, you're just making a fucking chimeric demon. Yeah, that's what people do with the, that's what I see a lot of people do with hot dogs. And I'm like, dude, fuck off. Like my favorite hot dog is just an L.A. You're street dog. You just, you know, they're grilling it. They wrap it in bacon. And what I like if I can is have the grilled onions thin.

If you have them thin, then they're just like, it's just pure flavor. And it's not like an extra thing you need to like crunch onto. But if you do that and just put a little bit of mustard onto it, to me that's perfect. Now, maybe you want to add a little bit extra fine. But I think just those few toppings enough is just amazing. More than enough. I agree, I agree. Street dogs are fucking amazing. They are. I don't have them to offer.

Just generally everywhere. Like, I, I had a lot of them in New York growing up, and I always really liked him. And they're really good out here, too. It's, like, a really consistent thing with cities I've noticed. I don't really have, the street dogs is definitely more of a Manhattan thing. Yeah, but they're over here, too. Like, usually they're in, like, the populated places, like, outside of clubs and stuff. Like, I remember when I was, when I was hanging out a lot in, like, downtown L.A.,

And I would go to, like, bars and stuff over there. There would always be, like, some kind of street dog thing outside, like, late at night. And they would be making, like, the bacon-wrapped hot dogs. I guess for the Bronx, they didn't have them that much. Because we didn't really have hot dogs in the Bronx that much. Like, we could find them, I guess, if he, like, looked. Like, even went to Fordham Road, maybe we could find them. But, like, in the Bronx, you don't have them.

It's a Manhattan thing for sure. Yeah. Because why would you go for a street dog in Brooklyn or fucking Queens? Or the Bronx, we could just get pizza. When you could just walk to like a proper place. Like Manhattan is like in a hurry. So typically like if you find like a street dog place, it's like all right, well I'll stop here for like literally 10 seconds. Give the dude like a dollar or two and then get myself a hot dog and then be on my way.

But in Brooklyn nobody's really rushing, you know. If people come across like a street dog thing, they're going to be like, oh, well, you know, I'm hungry, but we should we should just walk over to that place. I heard Brooklyn's now like a hipster haven. Yeah, Brooklyn's not what it was when I was little at all. Brooklyn was like really, really, really. Brooklyn was like the worst borough for a while. It was like really like Betts Stuyveson was horrible. And now it's like not.

It's like full of baristas and shit. And it's like, whoa, man. Times have changed. Yeah. Times of, same thing with Harlem. Harlem was really not good either. And then Bill Clinton pulled up and he was like, oh yeah, get all the blacks out. And now it's like different.

He put his office there And it got fucking Harlem just changed radically It's like not even the same anymore Yeah There's a Starbucks Every block bro Like actually

Yeah That was already kind of happening More Starbucks What happened to my home? Huh What happened in my home? What happened to my home? There's way too many Negroes here

What are we gonna do about it Just replacing the Starblets? Can you imagine? Fucking I hate Bill Clinton's voice Because I heard it so much on fucking lime wire. Same. I think, I think, uh, I don't know, man.

Like, I, I, I, I just know the Bronx is still fucking garbage. The Bronx is, the Bronx is where I'm, where I'm from is better than what it was. But I didn't live in the worst part of the Bronx, though, by any sense of the measurement. I lived in, like, the West Bronx. And the West Bronx is relatively fine compared to, like, South Bronx. I always hated the Bronx. I couldn't stand going there.

I couldn't stand being there. The zoo was nice. I guess. I loved it. But I love Pelham Park. I love fucking. I love Trimont Park. I fucking love it.

I love the city. Congratulations. I'm a fucking hood. I had a good time. I mean, I actually lived there. That's why. So I guess it's like,

it's a relativity thing. Like, since you live here, like, oh, this is my home. This is fine. I just spent so much time there.

And I just remember just always being just like, what the fuck is wrong with this place specifically? I don't know, man. Manhattan is, I think Manhattan is definitely worse than the Bronx. But it's this faster pace. so no one pays attention to it.

That's exactly what I'm saying, though. Like, it's just all the negatives of Manhattan, except it's slow. Ah, man. And not as convenient. I don't know. I hate Manhattan, but that's because I'm not from there.

That's not my depiction of New York. So I think that's why I fucking hate that place. I hate it so much. It's a bunch of fucking annoying ass people that just yell at you. And you're like, all right, yell at me, fight me. And then they don't fight you,

they leave. What hell? What? What? What? What? What? People have yelled at you at you in the Bronx.

Way more than they'll you fucking Manhattan. No, that's false. Yes, they do, dude. That's false. That's false. Yes, they do. Manhattan, everyone's trying to ghost myself. If you literally stop from my room, it's like, what the fuck are you doing stopping? Yeah, people don't have time.

People don't have time to stop and fucking yell at you more. People yell at you more. You fucking ass, get out the fucking way, and they keep moving. Yeah, they'll yell at you and then they'll keep moving. And the Bronx, they'll yell at you and they'll push you down to the fucking subway platform. They'll be like, you want to go? I'm fucking drunk. Shit, where were you?

Who are you? In the Bronx. That was Brooklyn for me. Brooklyn for me. No, I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. this is a very real thing. Every single fight

that I've ever seen in New York happened in the Bronx. Damn. Every fucking single one of them. That's crazy. I saw not a single fight in Manhattan.

What? I saw not a single fight in Manhattan. I swear to you. Oh my God. I saw not a single fight in Manhattan. I saw not a single fight in Brooklyn. Actually, I saw like two. You were in a tourist areas then.

No. I've definitely been in Hell's Kitchen. I've seen people get fucking stabbed. Like, I've seen people get like fucking like, are people jumping off Banness, there's a stomp on people in Hell's Kitchen. That place is bad, bro. Like, like,

Hell's Kitchen isn't even nowhere, is nowhere near as bad as it used to be. I'm probably not. Probably not. Their devil cleaned it up, right? Yo, I've seen, like, literally,

I've seen people get, like, stabbed it and I got noticed. And I'm like, get the fuck out of your kid. And I'm like, I got you. And I run to Harlem. I run up to Harlem.

I don't know. Whatever. Whatever. Let's move on. Let's move on. This isn't about hot dogs anymore. Very educational. Very educational.

Back home. So this guy's name is What? Oh, I can't read this. That's you. That's you. Yeah, nice. I got it. It's a good, good meme, good meme. And he wrote it and he says, I've got a bit of a conundrum.

Say you have the ability to telepathically put thoughts into someone's mind. Not mind control, just putting ideas in their brain. So basically accepting them, but without the dream thing. And you give them suicidal thoughts, which they act upon. Is that murder? please respond quickly my trial is in 10 minutes well

you're definitely put away at this point but yeah it's definitely well you're the person that you're the person that seated the thought but like actually so you are technically the murderer but it's not through conventional means so you probably don't have a law for it right now yeah like how the fuck would you prove that

yeah you couldn't be able to prove it the only person who would know anything about it is dead look so look even look even things that are proven in the fucking court, don't matter. Like, Brianna Taylor's... Breonna Taylor's murders are still out and about, and they actually did it. So, like...

No, but dude, if you, if, even if you confessed... Yeah. They would be like, what? How? What the fuck out of here? Yeah, they would treat you like a fucking idiot, like an invalid, like an imp. Look, even things that are proven

don't get, like, don't even get, like, processed. Like, things that are proven sometimes. Oh, for sure. So with that, that can't be proven. Like, get this fucking asshole out. out of here. I don't care. I've seen, I've been watching so much true crime shit and I'm astonished where like some, like this one guy, this, this idiot, this guy that's like 60 IQs like, oh, I done did it. I was paid to don't kill this person and they're like, I get out of here, retard. And then, uh, damn, they didn't like accept it. And I'm like, he, he just, he just

confessed. He confessed. I don't go go kill that woman. He won't show her ass up. Get the hell out of here, John Marston. I don't get a little fuck. God the fuck That's not even how John sounds Don't respect John like that I'm retrain how cops How they How they see people

Who is my son? Where's Jack? Who are we? Abel can you laugh me A yuck A yuck Can you imagine John would not be

Nobody would like John Varson If he sounded like that that's one of my favorite video game characters and I would hate him if he sound like that I'm like this guy's stupid Red Dead Red Dead Redemption with a fucking Cletus

Marsted It's either you or me And the way that I see it Might as well be you God dang it I want a game I want a game with a protagonist like that Just because I want to see who the fuck had managed

To make me care That's actually That would be amazing If you, like, cared and you're like, oh, I really, this person has so much depth while they're just speaking so stupidly. I couldn't, I couldn't care about that. I'd be like, this is just, this is trying to pull some out of me that is not there. This is a fucking maniac. I can't like this.

Dutch is going crazy, Arthur. Look, listen here, Arthur. Dutch had us in Cuba. What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't know if I could handle it. That would be, that would definitely, like, make. Red Dead Red Dead Redemption 2 specifically would not be one of my favorite games ever if I had to deal with fucking John Martian Especially at the end of that game like you play as him exclusively

It's like oh my god Spoilers for Red Dead I guess Oh yeah yeah two fucking years later It's been on PC for a while now so like I don't know what to tell you If you get mad about that you can fucking slurp me I don't give a fuck it's been off for two years eat a dick But I That is murder dude like you're technically directly resulting in

the death of a human being that wouldn't have happened without your interaction and happened purposely with your interaction. So I say, based on a sheer technicality that is, that is murder. It would be at least third degree, at the very least. Yeah. Because I think people can, because I think people can actually get charged if, like, I think this happened before. I vaguely remember, like, a case where, like, someone was bullying this kid and they, like,

it was like, kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself, and then they did it. And then I think you got charged for something. So, like, if you can. Yeah. But that's true, but that's like, how to explain it. That is more tangible than telepathy. So you could probably not have to happen. I'm not talking about the law.

Like, obviously, there would be, we already established, there's no law for this. And you wouldn't be able to prove it. Nobody would believe you. But morally and just, as far as, like, facts go, like, you definitely murdered a person. Yeah, you're a killer. So, like, have fun going away forever. Yeah, so good luck. Have fun being in the cage like a fucking animal.

Why is it, tell me something. I don't know if you guys know this or anything about this, but why is it so difficult to give people the death penalty that kill other people? Like, why is it, what, is it to you, do you think it's morally, like, irreprehensible? Like, do you think it's wrong to kill people that have killed other people, like, give them the death penalty? The thing about a death penalty for me is, like, you, it's, that's so quick. Suffering in prison. You rather have, like, them suffer.

Yeah, like, suffer in prison. That's just quick. You kill somebody they're gone. That's it, you know? Yeah. You're not going to suffer. The pain of you taking a person away, killing someone else, is going to be felt throughout the whole entire family. But opposed to someone just, like, death ends like, oh, you're just, you're gone now.

That's it. You know, and it's like, that's not really, that's not really the case. You should, you should suffer for what you did. You should, you should literally feel the ramifications of what you've done. So that's why I don't really regret death penalty. Also, it could sometimes go, like, really fucked up and they can die, like, an issue amount of pain, which is kind of, like, fucking morbid to me. It's like, I just don't know. I'd rather someone just like deal with it.

Like, fuck, sorry, you're out. You're here. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how I feel about the government just being able to decide who lives and dies. That's always been a little bit creepy to me. And especially just all the people who are on death row who like later on just turn out to just be completely innocent. That shit is way. That shit's way too common, bro.

Like so many cases between like the 60s to like the 80s, it's so many cases of people that just didn't do shit that are just in jail. And it's like, what the fuck, dude? Like if I could be confident that that kind of thing wouldn't happen, then I don't know if I would be all that opposed to it. But the fact that it just does happen and like not even like a negligible amount of times. Like sizable. Like it's a decent percentage of times that it happens. And it's like, you know, I don't know how I feel like that. Yeah, that right there kind of takes it out where because you can't be sure.

There's a lot of people. I've been watching so much stuff and I just watched this. documentary called Outcry, or it's about this football player, I think from Texas, that was, you know, a stud. He was definitely going to go to the NFL and be like, one of the best defensive players. And then he got wrongfully accused of being a petto, and he went to jail for like, I think, three years. And it was insanely obvious that they did little to no investigation. There's like, oh, we got our guy. We're going to just fudge the papers a little bit to make him look more guilty and his

lawyer didn't even like, hey, are we going to interview any people that lived in the house? Are we going to do any work? Are we going to take pictures? Are we going to do any walkthroughs? Nothing. It's the craziest shit. It's a showtime thing. And it's so crazy that it frightens me

that literally you can be accused of something that you had absolutely nothing to do of. And then depending on who's handling your cases, who the prosecutors are, they just want to get another win, you know, another notch on their belt. And they'll just fuck you and I'll say, dude. That's terrifying.

Generally speaking, I feel like I would rather have, I feel like I would rather have, um, I feel like I would rather have some guilty people go free than some innocent people die. Yeah. If that makes sense.

Yeah, yeah, there's like, yeah. Because someone's guilty then, if someone's guilty, then they'll probably get caught again, you know, and they'll have, you know what I mean? Like, there'll be some kind of record that you can establish, but like like for those people who are just like completely like falsely accused it's actually part of the reason like why um i felt really uh weird about do you remember when when uh there was like a a fund going around for like the protesters to like bail the protesters yeah for the for the protest and i remember being like

oh i don't because because they were definitely arresting some people who didn't deserve it but they were also arresting people who probably like were being like pieces of shit and i i remember thinking like, oh, do I feel comfortable with my money going to freeing people who probably, like, beat people up and probably were acting like complete assholes. But the thing is that? Hold on. But I just remember thinking about it and being like, I do think I feel better about just having guilty people go free than I have, than I feel with innocent people being arrested. It's kind of how I felt about it. Well, for me, it's that, like, one with the protesters aren't, someone who's, like, it's hard to figure on that moment.

guess, but protesters are protesters. There are people who are protests, and then those are rioters and looters. Those are the other people, the ones that are committing crimes. Right, but they're definitely mixed up. And that context, they're very mixed up. There are definitely people who are protesting who were being fucking nefarious and being insane and being complete assholes, like without a doubt. Like, it's just objectively true just based on math, honestly.

Just the amount of people who are out protesting, there has to be some percentage of them that were fucking going nuts and doing, going ham and doing some crazy. I definitely, but the things that they're not there to protest. Like at that moment you're not a protester, you know? But it doesn't matter because they're going to be lumped in with the people who are protesters. And they're going to be receiving the same bail money from the same fund. But I remember just being like, you know what? Yeah, I'd just, I'd rather have people who are whiling out be free to be caught another day than have somebody in prison for no fucking good reason.

I agree. Yeah. And that's a very serious conversation we just had. Very complex. but uh let's end it with it played with its penises question nice nice he said this is actually vaguely the questions are actually flowing into each other pretty nicely

he says you've all just been convicted of some heinous crime but instead of the usual 25 to life you're being exiled for life to any country of your choosing which one would you pick and why um i mean that's probably that's not even i'm going to do you come and visit me I'm going to New Zealand That's such a not like I'm going to live in a Hobbit Shire

A Hobbit Shire nice Yeah I want to live in a Hobbit Shire It's basically just a house to me Yeah they're definitely real It's basically a regular size house to me It's just like a hobbit Shire Is just a small house basically At my height

So I'm like I'm totally fine I'm going to Canada or Japan I guess Wait wait a minute How tall are hobbits Hobbits are smaller than you are Of course I forget I don't know, but hey, Ganoff was able to fit in the house.

He just had a hard time getting inside. That's true. Can you chill in there? Yeah. Hobbit height. Oh, my God. The hobbits are like halflings. Oh, three feet six inches. Holy shit.

I thought they're a little bit taller. So are dwarves? Those are dwarves. Yeah, dwarves are taller. Dwarves are actually four feet. Yeah. So, yeah, they're taller. Interesting.

Because what's his name? Gimley? What's his name? the guy Who the dwarf? Yeah Yeah He looks smaller than

Frodo and shit No definitely not I have to watch Dude it's been so long When they all stay next to each other The hobbits are definitely Tiny The hobbits are

They're like half people Actually Yeah I just God it's been so long I gotta watch the shit again Which are like this Remember when Frodo saw Gandoff

And he jumped into him And he was like Holding a kid Yeah and then he undressed him Oh Okay, thanks for listening to the Snark Tank podcast, everyone. Wait, we didn't talk. You said Japan, bitch?

I said, uh, sweet, uh, the other Canada or Japan. Yeah, this is, what is, this question is like, oh, you did a horrible thing. You get to go live in somewhere that you would love to go. That sounds, uh, yeah. Sounds like, it sounds like an easy one. Yeah, fucking, I mean, yeah, I'll go to. I guess you'd have to have a different identity and you have to cut ties with everybody you've ever loved before.

No, not exactly. Because if you go to Canada, they can just come to Canada to visit you. No, but you're essentially in whatever the opposite. It's almost the opposite of witness protection, where it's criminal protection. Like where you're just like, you committed a crime, but they don't want to see you in jail. So they're going to throw you somewhere

and you have to go by a different name. You have to change your life. I'm adding all this on just to make this interesting. Okay, well, yeah, I'll go to Japan and I become a fucking Weebisham, right? Yeah, fuck it. There you go. You would stick out like a sore thumb in Japan.

So the fuck what? I don't care if people notice me. I'm just there to do what I want to do and get the fuck out of there. Hey, that's Tom Sweetie. He kicked a baby in front of a bus. Yeah, and I'll kick your baby in front of a bus. You better stay the fuck away from me.

I'm going to go to the moon. I just want to put that out there. You want to go to the moon? You want to meet Jesse? I'm going to go. Oh my God. Fucking moon men. I think that's racist, actually.

I'm not going to say that again. Moon meth. Moon meth. Dude, that's good. You get so high, you float away. They just throw it to Earth and it lands. Walter invented like a very specific Trebuche that has like a very perfect delivery arch

where he just like Trebuchet's meth onto the surface of the earth and it lands exactly on people's houses. Like on their front doors. It's a very efficient delivery system. I mean, he's a scientist, man. Yeah, you can do it. He can do anything.

He can make a machine gun that has that's remote control on a rotor out of a trunk so he can definitely make a Trebice that sends meth to the fucking planet

Well see now I have a problem because he kind of You know He got caught in the crossfire With his This shit So I don't know how good The Trebushet's gonna work

Well you know He's short on time Okay Practice makes perfect You know You gotta you gotta You gotta break a few eggs It's a fucking omelet

You know You have a couple Of the meth deliveries Land in a preschool and shit Yeah Yeah I got it So the fuck what those kids Are gonna get lit

That's free marketing That's like when you get a free package of gum in the mail or whatever and it's like hey check try out our new gum fucking moon meth that actually happened by the way i don't know how the fuck this occurred but i remember getting five gum in the mail never ordering it they just sent me fucking gum did you eat it yeah of course yeah it's free gum i guess uh well i mean you don't eat gum yeah yeah well you chew chewed it yeah but like you probably have like i ate it i did probably have some fucking nanotech in you and some shit that's like monitoring

all your shit now. I'm alright with that, yeah. That's fine. I'm all right with being monitored internally. Yeah, it's fine about me, honestly. Anyway, thanks for listening to this, whatever this is. If you'd like to support,

if you like what you heard today, please consider supporting us at patreon.com slash the snark tank. Remember, we're talking about making an exclusive episode of the podcast every month exclusively for patrons. That'll probably start next month. So if you're into that idea,

come on over and join us. $1 a month gets you early access, $5 a month. Gets you a question read on the show. $10 gets you access to our Discord. $15 will be getting some perks that we're still currently working on because that was the old highest tier. And 25.

Dollar Roonies. Gets you your name dyslexically red at the end of the show, which I will now do. Three, two, one. Goal. A level one cleric. Abby beat my brain cells into a bowl of baby batter. Ben Douglas, cataclysmic cunt, Chief Keith David,

clever and concise Keith David, David Connelly, the dyslexic that feels Chris's pain, Dickle me Elmo. That's hot. Drinking Derek's ball sweat. Okay. How's it taste, you fucking weirdo. Emperor Palpatine, Haco,

Hayo, the bizarrestes. Hmm Hispanic wizard Jackson Ab Sage Juan Punchman Nice Keith Davies Yummy Cummies

Keith David Keith David ascended Keith David Kick Flip on your dad's ball sack Nice Keith David's Dank Delegs Dank Delectable

Daconian Dick Dicking Danny DeVito Ketherian David King of Hapazard Melfis 1 Moto Zellet Mr. Fuck, which is such a Timeless name.

Just straight up Mr. Fuck. I like classic. That's so not clever, but it's also like, it sticks out to me. That's so good. More than a lot of other things. Pokemon Diamond and Pearl Harbor. Oh, shit. Sunny Chance.

That's not bad. Sween and Swede and Jada's Harlequin Baby. Nice. Nah, I don't think you know what a harlequin baby is. I don't know. Stitz rip chemo. those are the babies that are born with her skin

Is it a clown? Harlequin's clowns? Those are the babies that are born with their skin inside out. Really? That's a thing? Go ahead and look it up. The ghost of Keith David's past. Toby Schuteman, wouldn't it be awkward

if we found out Mr. Rogers was a pedophile? That would be... That would break my heart, actually. I would cry. That would actually ruin my fucking life. I would cry. And, yeah, what do we got here also? We got Zesty, Keith.

David. So thank you all for your current pledges. Thank you all for donations. Thank you all for the streams. Remember, if you like this, please share it. Leave us a nice review on iTunes. It really does help with the algorithm. And yeah, that'll be that, I suppose. I got really excited because I had a baby with Jada Smith. That means I fucked her, but then a harlequin baby made me sad because they would have to live a suffering life. So, um... Well, it wouldn't live that long of a suffering life, so you're fine. I guess. Well, we can just Give it some other skin, right?

We can just skin somebody else And I'm out, I'm out of here I'm done, I'm done All right, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. He's trying to stop me, bitch