The Snark Tank - #300: Lyle Rath Returns!

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

Only took 5 years but we reached 300 episodes!

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Hey, everybody, it's episode 300 of the Snark Tank. Hey, it's me. It's him. It's that. And it's Lyle. Hello. Hey, Lyle's joining us for episode 300. I'm here for this important milestone.

You know, when I helped build this podcast from the ground. Yeah. I said one day it's going to make it to episode 300. And I'm going to finally go on and tell the world my story. Yeah, yeah. He was there. When he pitched this show to me and then I stole it from under him, he said, let's have a, let's have another.

fucking podcast. Yeah, yeah, you Zuckerberg me out of it. Yeah, yeah. But we're good now. We've patched things out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a historic, it's a historic moment. Well, how's everybody doing?

It's been, uh, I feel like, I, I was actually checking. I think you were last on the show episode 75, which is hilarious. Really? 75? Yeah, that's like an insane amount of episodes ago. Yeah, that's, that's, you've recorded maybe too many, I would say. I would agree. Yeah.

last one actually. Good. Yeah. No, we're doing. We're doing Snart Tank 2 after this actually quite literally. Oh yeah. We're doing the sequel series. We're doing the sequel. We're done. We're second season. We're going to do Snartank Season 2. Oh, yeah. You already got the next title lined up. Exactly, dude. Yeah, it's perfect. That's great. Oh, man. Oh, God. Oh, fuck. I got a, oh my God. No, so funny story. I was, um, Chris said, oh, I dropped my microphone on the floor and broke it into a million pieces. So I had to bring this. And I was like walking down the street with it. And I was like, oh god they all know i'm going to a podcast i feel like people recognize this microphone now

you know yeah totally totally it's the podcast mic it is it annoys me but the problem is i guess it's not a problem but it is a good mic though so it's not like just like oh you can choose any mic because i have many different mics and if you want to just not mix as well right you just like you just it it it hides the a little better than most. It's a good podcast, Mike. It works. It is unfortunate.

Yeah, no, no. There's a part of me that I felt like a piece of meat. Just walking out. Our podcasters are like a breed under attack. Are we like a, are we like a, are we like a, there's too many of us? There's way too many. I mean, even this is arguably something that should not be done. It just works for some reason.

And so there's no reason not to do it. I mean, well, I feel like when we did. Not enough podcasts are like useful, you know. A lot of them are like, you want to hear a creepy story about a woman getting ripped in half by a fucking Bulgarian boy. It's like, oh, no. Useful is a crazy thing to say.

It's like, we're absolutely not useful in any way shape of that. Yeah, I know. I've never said I would. We might as well be like mining crypto right now for sometimes I ask myself, why aren't we? Why are we not going to like that? We should have like a fucking 50, 90 in the middle

of the table that we just fucking go, go, go, go. And like a tree that we watch like die slowly to it, like a little bonzai that the leaves just slowly fall off. That's awesome. We're gonna be able to crypto mining show, I think. I don't want to mind crypto. But like I'll be here.

Like I'm not gonna. Why don't you want to mind? I want to stand against it like morally, but also at the same time, if it's fun in any remote way, I'll be like, just say, just say that you're against it while it's literally happening. I hate mining crypto as I buy another Tesla.

As I buy a Tesla to crash into my Tesla. Yeah. I still don't, I still am not fully aware of like how that even works. Like money? Money. Yeah, like people tell me about like, oh, you need, it's like, it's using graphics cards.

I could explain it to you, but I don't think anyone wants to fucking hear that. I'm not even asking for explanation. I'm just confidently explaining that I will never understand it. If you know what mining crypto, how it's done, write out that comment and then like time yourself and see how long that took you and just that you're never getting that back. Don't post it. Don't post it. Just don't post.

Do all the way to create it. And then let it end. And then throw it away. It'll be cathartic. It'll be like letting the second Sophie's Choice baby go. Right. Yeah, exactly. I haven't thought about Sophie's choice in fucking forever.

Neither is she. She's been a lot happier since that. That is not a fucking fucking pocket. Was that another thing that you thought was like a sitcom? Look, dude. You know the story, Eli. No, no. The story about how, like, I went over to a girls' house to watch and I thought it was

going to be like a little black book movie, like a rom-com. Well, like the notebook? Yes. I thought it was going to be like 50 first dates or some shit. That is not that crazy to date. Some fucking National Lampoon bullshit. Exactly. Did you fuck her at the end of it?

Absolutely not. I was not present after that. I was like, whoa, man. Did she want to fuck? I think she might have thought that was going to go that way. You know exactly what she was doing? I'm thinking about all those Jews. I can't do it.

I'm thinking about the at least 8,000 Jews that died in the that's fucking if she says that that's a good surface number like we start there and then we expand from there what are you saying I'm just saying

like I don't what are you going with this I'm not saying that like three million didn't happen but it sounds it's a big number

this is why God it's getting I'm not I'm not what's the thing didn't happen though I agree we should

we've reorganized this show a couple times you have been sitting next to me for like a little bit, I think we should move you back to that side. You don't want to be on the same side as this? Okay. You don't want to be in frame when I'm saying some shit like that.

That's exactly the reason. That's very smart. I think, I think, very smart. That tragedy's happening. You don't have to think anymore. It's okay. But, listen, hey. I've had conversations with my uncles about it like that.

And I'm being like, can you stop saying this out loud? Your uncles? What are your uncles doing? They're fucking five percenters, of course. So I'm like, hey, stop. Five percentage, what is that? 12th tribe, like 13th tribe of Israel, black people that are like really, they're just crazy. I feel like five percentage is a terrible name for something like that.

It's like five percent of, it's very esoteric. It's like five percent of the people that understand the mind, the knowledge of self and the power of the site. It's just like that thing where they think they're aliens. Is that what you're talking about? It's, it damn near might as well be. One step before that. It's just one step before that. They're also crazy, dude.

Like just. I love those guys though. Like you ever see them? Have you ever encountered any in public? No, no. They don't have them here, I'm pretty sure. Well, they have like versions. Like there's people, yeah.

They're varied. The variance. The five percent are varying. He's a four and a half percenter. There's different skews. They're all, like we should go a cruise down to South Central. I don't want to talk to them.

I mean, you don't have to talk to them. You just hear them out. I don't like it. I don't like it because what happens that they talk with such conviction, it starts to co-wap me. Oh, you're actually. Oh, yeah.

Because it's not because I agree with the point. was a conviction. I'm like, damn, bro. Imagine thinking that highly. Imagine having that much confidence in yourself. I do like the confidence. Yeah. Yeah. That is. Yeah. There always these muscular black dudes with these fucking nice hats. I'm not going to be rude.

If they're going to listen to fucking anything. If they're buff, I'll listen to it. That's, I'm pretty sure, like, 50% of RFK's entire appeal, I think. I think it's more. Is he more than more? He's unusually jacked. He's in very good shape for some of that old. He's, like, it's fun.

I just, I like the idea that he's like, really scared of like sticking needles for like medicine but then he very clearly is there's like like you think r fk's on gear he's completely on there is no way a second year old is like that he looks great you know like right here looks great the body looks great his face is kind of like you know yeah he looks little he looks how he sounds you know i mean should chop his own head off and put it on rfk's body that's what he's probably keeping him around for i want that'd be like i okay i'll ken i'm here for that level of like, fuckery.

I'm, like, I'm annoyed by the slow burn. I just want them to already hurry up for that shit. Yeah, yeah. Like, let's...

He slits a little Mickey into that blue liquid he puts in his water. Yeah. Did you see that? In that panic he made? Yeah, yeah. I did see that.

He wakes up, what, what's what's... He was ahead. What happened to my body? I'll tell you what. I've never looked better. I never, I never looked better.

That was the weirdest. Like, yeah, he has like a weird, like, a little potion. A little potion kit. Yeah, he does. brings on the plane. His little brew, his little RFK brew.

Did anyone explain what it is? It's trying to keep the worms back. It's not to suppress the worm. It's not to suppress the worm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard this story about the worm a million times. Yeah. But is it still in there?

Yeah, yeah. It's in there and he insists that it's dead. He says that don't worry, guys, the worm's not active and eating. I killed it by eating a bunch of tuna. That sounds like something an active worm was. That is some shit is 100%. He is co-opted. He is 100% co-opted.

I guarantee if RFK is ever in like a near-death, like, fight for his life, that worm is going to take the fucking wheel. And he's going to like whip out some shit. Yeah. He's got like a little, it's like the little Orion's Beltman Black Alien or like a little venom living in a mess. It's like, like, Wester at the end of five where he like fucking put his hands in a vat to have like the fucking worm arms. Wesker? Yeah. Oh, from Reson.

I don't know why I didn't know that for a second. Name, name three other Weskers right now. I know exactly one other Wesker in real life. I've had a Dr. Wesker in my, he was one of my doctors. Did you trust him? Did you trust him at all? Did he move really quick? Did he move really quick?

Could he shoot at you and teleport around the map at the same time or no? Waring like Matrix clothes? Is that like I didn't trust him before I, like I had no context for Albert Wester at all, like in the games before I decided not to trust him. You decided. You made a decision. Yeah, like I felt like it was just like an untrustworthy name. There was something about it that felt wrong.

It does seem like, yeah, like a doctor Wesker even. Just take out Resident Evil from it. It seems like some guy who would have like vats of something. Yeah. Or like a jar with like an organ that he grew in it. Yeah, yeah. Like a homegrown organ. Yeah, they do that.

Completely independent of anything else existing. It's a organ that you grew. Yeah, it's just his pet. With soil and in time. This is my pet organ. It started as a pig heart from the grocery store and now it's his son. Pig heart. Bigs have big hearts

Relative They have like human-sized hearts Roughly Because we use them sometimes We're starting to yeah Splice like Their their organs And put them in our bodies

Which is crazy How do you guys feel about CRISPR? Yeah How do you feel about CRISPR? That's the DNA thing Right? Yeah, I mean it's fucking excellent

What do you mean? How do you feel about it? Would you use it? If it like works one Why wouldn't I? Like so If it makes you not gay anymore Would you use it?

Why would I That's not a that's not bad thing. What do you mean? I'm just saying, what do you? Well, I would use it if it was, if I thought Gainis was actually bad, like it's like, oh man, I can't stop sucking dick. So you would. So you're hindering my, it's hindering my work because I can't stop sucking dick. So you would use CRISPR. Yes. Absolutely. So the end gayness you would use CRISPR. Yeah. Dude, you put it next to the shower. You get Tinder and grinder and then like depending on what kind of date you're going on, you go into the crisper. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like a daily thing you got to do. I imagine it like the health thing in doom where You put your arm in it. Not totally. Wouldn't you, like, if you were really sex craze and you can stop like sucking cock, like wouldn't you just alter a little bit? Turbo gay, like a feral gay.

But it's not for you. You can't, you can't step in the machine to change yourself. Why not yet? Why can't? We're talking about future. Oh, the future.

Like if they have like a, like a bioshock vita chamber that you step in and you leave a black man or like you leave less gay. It's like the, it's like the, it's like the, tank inside of Dragon Ball where you go inside of it

and you're like, you're like, I'm suspended a little bit. And you come out and you're like, I don't know, not gay anymore. You're not like, you can see. You can see perfectly. If you get horribly injured, you come out 10% gay or like. Every time we use it, you're a little more gay. It's a weird side effect. I have two more uses left before I'm a full-fledged homosexual.

That would almost, if that were true, that would be like. I'd probably use it more. That is literally the gay agenda. Like what people think the gay agenda is. Yeah. Evolution is homosexual. You want to make them right, I guess, is what you're saying. I don't want to make them right, but I want to make the world be better, you know.

But if you can put RFK in that vat and make him not a fucking dickhead anymore. I don't think the worm will allow it. The worm would not. You're like the worm like retching inside of his brain? I'm sure he destroyed the entire factory because the worm will not allow it. He won't. He will like turn on that superhero like human like type of strength and just destroy the entire facility. You know, he's like, because he can.

He can, but the worm's trying to pretend like R of K is. still a normal person, but I'm sure it slips every once in a while. Every once in a while, it's every time he fucking opens his mouth. Well, I guess it doesn't realize that part, but I'm thinking like, say, you know, accidentally walking through a brick wall instead of like, oh, using the door or some shit. Like, it hasn't done that yet. But it can. And so, uh, be careful with the one.

He put a potion. I think he's given, I thought he gave Joe Rogan one. I swear to God. Like, because Joe Rogan's a completely different person now. He's, like, not even remotely the same person. at all. Joe Rogan's like the second half of fucking, um, Files Fouljanon.

He's like, every time he opens his mouth, it's like, this nigga's out of the fight, really bad. It's, it's kind of interesting. That book is really sad.

Yeah. That short story is crazy sad. Did you read that one on a date too? And I read it in school and I was like, yo, someone to the other guy's, he'd become a retard in the middle of class. And I was like,

he already was. Somebody assed in the middle of class? Yeah, it's really important. And your teacher, was like stay after class. I want to see something. You want to see something?

Stay after class. And she gives him the post. I never read that story. That was like the kid losing his mind or something? No, no, it's a guy who, uh,

he like takes like a, he's mentally disabled and he takes like a, like a pill that makes him not anymore. Yeah. And then he decides that he would rather like eat rats. So he stops taking the pill. That's insane. It's something like that.

I had no idea. That's, you were, he was like, he's like seven out of ten he's pretty close like 70% correct is it's just like cypher in the matrix or syph whatever the fuck that guy's name is when he's just like oh put me back in the matrix hanaverdale

no no it's uh i think what actually happens is like there's a rat that is also taking it and that starts getting tumors so he he's like i'd rather uh i'd rather not have tumors and you know like digimon and then he uh stops oh so okay it's it's like very straightforward i thought there was like some No, what happens is he does eat the rat at the end, though. He, like, loses himself. Oh, when he goes back.

He doesn't remember it and he eats it. But don't rats just naturally kind of get tumors? Yeah. Well, what hamsters do. I feel like rats specifically almost do. Do you think a rat king is a thing that happens enough? It's enough to have a name. Yeah.

Like, how many rat kings have been discovered? Discovered? Yeah, like, how many rat kings have been found? I thought, like, say. I feel like a rat king is not even a name. enough to be a big problem in a burrow. Like the average child would see a rat king and be like, yeah,

whatever. Anytime you go to a restaurant and you see a C from the health department, that's a rat king. That's a rat king. I like it's not enough to fail. You can still serve food here, but watch out there's a rat king in its dwelling. That would be like,

okay, so you go to like an A restaurant, but there is an obvious rat king in the kitchen that no one's addressing. How big are rat kings? I'm so curious. They vary, I think. I'd assume.

What's the largest rat? Google that. It's just a rat. Largest rats tied together. Yeah. You think like a rat king, like Ratatoui 10 would be like, you know? Raditouet 10. Yeah.

There's like a whole like line cook operation. Did they ever do like a, because they used to do like random straight to DVD sequels to Disney movies. Listen, I don't have the respect to do that anymore. I'm not saying they should do a ratatooie, but I know what they should call it. I'm caught up in the game. attention is on every play and every whistle, but what I'm missing is a signal coming from my kidneys. That signal isn't like a ref's whistle. It's more of a silent SOS, which could be warning me of an increased risk for events like heart attack or stroke. And a way I can catch that signal?

A simple urine test called UACR. If you have type 2 diabetes or high blood pressure, talk to your doctor about the UACR test. Detect the SOS. Visit Detect thesos.com to learn more. I know where to put the two. 32 rats and the king. Jesus Christ. Ratted two is the biggest rack. Let's go. Derek's a good idea, but they wouldn't do that.

32. That seems like both so many. Mondo Rat King you've ever been a rat key. Let me see that. Wait, let me see. I like how they let it like petrify. Like what? It's crazy.

What's going on there? Wait, so is a rat king alive? At a point. Technically, each rat was a part of. Are they all alive at once is what I'm saying? Or is it like a. I think obviously some of them are dead. Or is it like a stale husk of like maybe like two rats.

I mean, I don't think it's like where the red fern grows or if like one dies, they all die of sadness. I think that if one dies, they just kind of keep on truck and add like another rat to it. Like a polycule. It's a fucking polycule. That is right. I think that's right though. I think you're on a right path. Polycules are adjacent to rats, I will say.

Yeah, I guess. Based on my experience. Close enough. I think every rat king You should have more rat kings now, I think I mean, you can make them You can just make them I mean, you can actually make them

That is so barbaric They're like, sir, you bought 75 rat recently for what purpose So I'm making a rat king I used to ethically make your own Organic rat king Yeah, well I hear like it like pet smart and shit When they like don't want them any

Like they just like throw them out When they need to make inventory A rats? Anything like fish, dogs They don't sell dogs I'm pretty sure. They do. Don't they?

No, they don't. I feel like they specifically do. No, they sell dog food. They don't sell whole dog. Why would they sell dog food but not dogs? Yeah, it's stupid. I don't know, Chris. Why don't you sell Xbox controllers, but no Xbox?

Yeah, yeah. Chris, Xbox is on a live. Yeah. This guy's a fucking joke. This guy's a joke. The last time you set foot in a fucking pet smart, you Philistine. You fill up, Phillistine! That's what it is.

I've been a pet smart in a while, but I appreciate they don't sell dogs. fucking pet smart corks nippers I remember the last time I went to freaking pet I think Petco is that what it's called The famous most famous one is Petco I think Probably I don't know I went there when I was a kid to buy a dog I thought I was gonna be able to find a dog there

And my grandma was like I really only is gonna happen I was like I'm gonna get a dog there And I went there were no dogs And I almost shot the place up They have like a dog shortage What? Whoa I almost I was granted I was four

Yeah maybe five maybe maybe 19 You thought about shooting things up when you were five? Yeah. That was just around on Columbine time, you know, I was getting hype off the energy.

You were not aware of Columbine when you were five years old. You weren't aware of Columbine five years old. Shut the fuck up. I was absolutely aware of column mine. I was like, whoa,

that's crazy. I don't believe that at all. I don't believe that for a second. Video games caused this. The reason I don't believe him is because he thought that like asphalt and pavement was actually like a part of like the earth just growing.

Like as a kid, he thought I was like, oh, that's just like, you definitely found that out of life. I didn't know. I was like, why is this here?

No, man. I never was like, I guess it's just, there were commercials with construction workers and people doing stuff. I didn't see construction workers and making droids or streets. He never saw construction workers,

but he saw Columbine. He saw Columbine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that explains a lot about me. Like, that's the whole, the whole entire picture is made now. This speaks to me. You know, every time the characters

like the Smash Bros. You get like a little picture and it fills out more of the story. Yeah. That was the first part of the story from me. He was like, oh, wow. I don't think Smash Bros. Does that.

Also, like, Did you think that was like you get a job? It's like, oh, what are my options? It's like, Columbiner. Collin biner. You can be a doctor. You could be somebody that fishes. You could do a columbine.

Somebody that fishes. But the roads, they just grow. Exactly. Roads just grow up the ground. So were you one of the impression that the roads grew and then people had to chisel like, for me it was more or less like I never really had been to a place that didn't have like streets, like proper cities? I was like, I guess mountains and stuff are just somewhere else. and dirt roads and I guess I only exist where this is just how this was always.

You understand that that's insane. I think as a kid it's not that insane. I think it's a little stupid. I lived in a major city. I never saw. I never really went anywhere that had like forestry. See, I think the standard position is that you've never thought about it. But for you to actually put thought into like this is natural or this.

It was more like I guess this is just how things are. Not like, oh, this is after my. studies and research, I deduce that there's only roads. I mean, that's what it sounds like you did. You're like, you pondered and pontificated. A little bit. That's kind of a powerful philosophy. There is only roads.

As much as I could at that age. A guru could twist that into something very profitable. Yeah. There are only roads. There's no destination. There's only roads. That's profound. That's fucking fire.

Put that on a shirt. Put that on a shirt. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. You're not going to find that there. No, he's not yet. Not yet. I mean, yeah, somebody's.

Somebody, get to work. Put it up there. Get to work. Put it up there. I'm not, fuck it. I'm not immigrant. I'm not doing that. I'm not an immigrant.

We do need one of those. Half my family was born here. Yeah, I think it would like, we're, we're pretty bad at like doing all the, you know. I want to get my, anything. I want to move to the Midwest and I want to employ a bunch of people who are immigrants and help them get a passage. I want to get like a farm and like employ a bunch of no you don't I actually do I want I want like land you always pretend like you have these lofty like like this is not lofty I just want land oh

yeah okay let's it I don't I don't want like that's lofty now I don't want to look upon it and gazed and be like wow you're more looking I just want to own property a dentured servant kind of fucking under fence railroad sort of shit yeah yeah no absolutely I would respect I would respect my possession. I mean, my, my workers. No, you wouldn't. Yes, I would. I'm not going to harm them. I'm not going to mistreat them. He wouldn't strike them. I wouldn't go down the field. Striking them or nothing.

I wouldn't mistreat them. I'd respect them. I'd be like, hey, dude. Hey, Hernandez. What's going on, brother? Hey, Hernandez. Make sure you get this done. You got the name is picked out for him already. Last names, too. I'm going to go to the home deep on. I'm like, anyone named Hernandez this way. Anyone name?

Anyone named Hernandez. That's great. Everyone gets up. A fucking dog breed. Getting some nice little people to work on my property for me. Little people. I don't think they like being called that. What's the proper term?

If little people isn't it. Latins, I think. Latins. Latins. Oh, man. All right. Should we move on? Should we get some questions?

Yeah. Yeah, we do questions because I don't think anything really happens. Nothing weird happened at all. We talked a little bit about the Super Bowl and the last thing that we did. But I don't. even that one was just like you know yeah because it was very it was so cut and dry of like not drama

and like even the backlash of the performance was kind of it was fucking boring like of the people that were trying to come up with shit to be like ah this I was like guys gotta do something bad I'm just why aren't people just I feel like right now and with the current administration you can just be as brazen as you want to and I'm waiting for that

I'm waiting for these be like just like I like I hate hard ars get the hard ours I'm waiting for like more fuel to like hey let's have fun with this now because you don't have to pretend anymore. You know how like, oh, let's go Brandon. You know, I'm like,

I think you can just say, yeah, that was really. I think you can just say, fuck him and you can say whatever you want to. I always thought that was weird or it's like, oh, tisk,

tisk to you, Brandon. Just fucking. Just say it. So I'm waiting for these guys to just feel more comfortable with their like, you know,

their bigotry. It was pretty boring. Like a lot of people were like, this isn't music. Yeah. It was like, look, I've heard this a million times.

Yeah. The boring thing, Like, I get it if you're just there for a specific, like, you're just there for entertainment. You're someone who actually values the halftime show, and you're like, I can't wait to be entertained. Like, yeah, it was boring if that's what you were looking for. But, you know, you're also kind of retarded, too, so who cares? Like, if you're, come on. He called a guy I don't like a pedophile on national television.

That's enough for me, okay? Yeah, yeah. That was so satisfactory. I thought that was fun. The fact that it peaked the microphones in the stadium is awesome. Like everybody in the stands at the Super Bowl. A lot of clip. If I was Drake, I honestly, I genuinely, I'd like to think I'm pretty like,

steel to like internet commentary about me. But like, I don't know, man. That would kind of fuck me up a little bit. If the entire stadium at the Super Bowl was just chanting along to like genuine defamation. They're never good enough to hurt you. Like if someone does a good job hurting your feelings, it's different, you know? Yeah.

Like, it's not even. But like even, let's say for the sake of argument, everything that Kendrick says is false. Like, let's say just like it's all completely made up. That would be like whatever. Like, whatever. I've had people make stuff up about me before. Like, whatever. The fact that it's at the Super Bowl and like Serena Williams is dancing to my defamation.

Yeah. That would fuck me up, I think. I think I might go away for like a long time. He should have had Kendrick killed. I don't know why he hasn't done that yet. Like I mean it. Put him down. Like you don't know why he hasn't.

Yeah, like kill this guy. Well, I mean, because he would be next. So what? Well, that would, that would, what's better? Existing as everybody. People are, kids are going to call him pedophile now. By the way, by the way, I want to point out, not five minutes ago, I want to move to the Midwest and give a life to immigrants. Also, kill Drake.

Those immigrants aren't saying on a pedophile and making the world dance along with me. You're coinciding the assassination of a musician. I just, if I was Drake, if I was in a. position which I'm not I'm not Drake but if I was if I was Kendrick would have been sleeping forever a long time ago

but see you also you're also thinking from the aspect that you you don't want to be alive you don't want to be alive but Drake clearly wants to be alive so he know that's why he's moving that's why he's suing after this that's why he's suing anyone's done like a wellness check on him since then

a wellness check so he did post like he did like a he was like he played like a big gas show. He's like wearing some dumb bullshit. He seems fine, but I'm sure, I feel like he's constructing like a Death Star or something. Like, he's like allocating all of his refunds and he's just going to like, boom,

and that'll take care of probably the West Coast. So I actually would think we should all move because it is a pretty soon. It's going to just... Westfield Farms. I was pretty good now, huh? Jackass is. I don't know about that, but at least like maybe Georgia. Is it exaggeratory to be like that's... That's

a difficult thing to come back to even if it's just completely bullshit. Oh no, it's a horrible. It's a horrible. The Super Bowl. He has to make such good... He has to make such good music and something fucked has to happen. I mean, that's the thing, though. Like, he didn't make thriller, right? So he's not going to survive pedophile. Right, right, right. You know? Nothing, yeah, he doesn't have... Claimals, the only thing that can prevent you from being a pedophile. Yeah, exactly. I mean, you listen to fucking hotline,

you're just like, he should go to jail for this very fucking song, you know? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's, he's fucked. He doesn't... Oh, so, I guess. That's just flashbag that S&L sketch of Trump dancing to Hotline Bling and that weird. I don't even want to know that. I didn't even know that. I think you actually made that up. I swear to God, this is real. He has glasses too in that video, which is weird.

Trump and glasses does not look right at all. He doesn't have swords rained on him. What? Drake? Both. Both simultaneously. I don't know, man. If I were Drake, I just would leave. I would like write a book or something.

Yeah, just become a producer. Just make good music. That's it. Just make your music and not. be a main 3 March anymore. Yeah, if he went away for a while, I think even even like the pedo shit would actually kind of after a while people get tired of it because

the new cycle is so fucking like weird. He's got to do what Eddie Brock did in Spider-Man 3 and pray on his downfall. Like go like in the shadows and pray on his downfall. Or or or he's got to start showing up to like a award shows like oh he's dating Dolly Parton now. Oh he's like oh no. He's got to do. Start going for like the

Gmail. Is that? Yeah. He shows up to an award show with Betty White's mummy. Mummy. She's been exhumed. She's been exhumed. She's been mummified that quickly.

That's how they bury celebrities. I'm pretty sure. Is that what they do? Yeah, they mummy them. Would you all want to be exhumed? Would you want to be mummified? If I were to be buried, I think I would want to be mummied. Yeah.

I want to be buried at all. I want to be burned. I don't want any chance. I don't look. I don't believe in magic. No chance to be. Any young girl's heart? That also.

But I don't believe, I don't believe in magic, but just to stay safe. I don't want to be in any state where I could potentially be resurrected by some strange sorcerer. Yeah. So I want to be dust. I actually learned a fun mummy fact. Apparently, like, there was like some explorer guy and he found like, I think it was King Tut. It was like some mummy, some fucking well-known, noted mummy.

Yeah, some notorious mummy. It was like the most intact they'd ever found. a mummy and the guy was like I want to get it as jewelry so he just started like ripping up the mummy so so the reason we don't have no good mummies is because we found a good one and some dude fucking tore it apart and you know the fucked up thing is because all the like shit in there like it's like fucking like thousand year old formaldehyde or whatever so that's where like the whole mummy's curse thing comes from because like all those motherfuckers got sick yeah and died because they were inhaling mummy because some dude had to like rip it up for jewelry I don't get me wrong

I would rip one up, like, just for the fuck of it. Like, I got a new couch recently. It's so beastil. Dude, that is so... Have you ever, like, fucking ripped apart furniture? It is so satisfying. I have it. I think destruction in general is in a elating feeling.

Oh, dude. Yeah. Like, it just feels good to destroy things. Have ever been to one of those, like, rage rooms? Yeah, those are pretty sick. You've been to one? Yeah, yeah. I've thought about it, but I never...

I don't know. I haven't got... I've got... I don't know. Like, I don't know. Like, that are going to be eating fresh food. I didn't do it. Oh, yeah.

You're from that family, though. What family? Doesn't your girlfriend? Your girlfriend's dad, like, throws baby raccoons down the fucking sink. Yeah, but he has to. I thought your family's from, like, Haiti. I'm not Asian at all. Fucking.

I'm near by Haiti, I guess. Cats and dogs and shit. I've seen my grandma legitimately break a chicken's neck with the least amount of care of ever seen in my life. And I was like, whoa. Chickens are, we've had this conversation before, but, like, I feel like if I, if you could only eat the meat that you would feel comfortable killing, I think I would be fine because I really don't have a problem with chickens.

I could not kill a little shaggy cow. I couldn't kill a shaggy one. A cow would be hard maybe. Yeah, that would be pretty hard. A pig would be difficult too. But you only have to suck it because, like, you get a lot of cow. If you have to kill the cow and you get the whole thing, you get the whole thing. That is true.

Yeah. Yeah, that does last a while. But the shaggy ones are so cute. Don't kill the shaggy ones. Yeah, like, why are you specifically just trying to kill the ones? See me murder its friends and I'm like, oh, hey friend. A big old bitch cow. You wouldn't feel bad for a buffalo.

I think I'd kill a buffalo. I don't know if you can kill a buffalo. I think a buffalo would make me sad. Why would it? Why? Because they're so, they're so, they just seem jovial. Like they're not really, they're just running around doing nothing. They're roaming. Yeah.

Like I guess I'd have to start killing predator animals eating them because I'd be fucking cool. Because at least they would kill me. Yeah. This thing is like. That'd be cool. Not as good. Doesn't taste as good though. Yeah.

Prey animals just taste better. That's why they're prey. Yeah. Yeah. Almost literally. Yeah, they evolved to be more delicious. It'd be absolutely delicious. Yeah.

It's unfortunate. I would kill the fucking. Got about a lion, though. I've thought this for a long time, but I've never bothered to look if this is true. Like, would chickens be extinct? If not for the fact that we just like specifically go through the effort of like cloning the shit? I've heard that about cows. Yeah.

I've never heard it about chickens. I heard about chickens. And it seems right. I think a lot of them wouldn't be here if we didn't eat in them. It just doesn't make sense. Like the amount of chickens that have to die for like a, for like a bucket of KFC is hilarious. It's like a million, like a million plus a day. It's like a million and a half chickens.

It's like something a day. It's crazy. Imagine like imagine if chickens were just left to their devices. You know how many more animals would, you know how many predators would probably exist or probably have already died out because of just eating chickens only? What do you mean? Because like they're,

what does that mean? What do you say? Like a lot of animals probably starved out because of the fact that it didn't have things to eat, right? But imagine how many things would have just like kept eating because they wouldn't have been around. It would have kept being eaten by other shit. Am I going crazy?

What are you saying? I'm trying to stumble over my words. So right now, so right now like chickens exist, right? Okay. I'm with you so far. Yes. I can agree with that. But thinking of like how many things would have just eaten them without our intervention.

Like how many other creatures would have probably still been able to exist long enough to eat them out and then die on their own. You know, like I don't think chickens have the ability to be able to like they don't just eat quick enough and are able to get away well enough to have existed this long without humans and interventions. They lay like an egg a day, don't they? Is it a day? I don't think it's a day. They lay like 14 eggs a day. It's a lot. They lay 14 eggs a day.

I think they lay hard. I feel like while I've been around chickens, there's been plenty of days. They just didn't lay eggs. Because you guys, yeah, you guys did weird. You're not. Why don't you out there making the work out of yourself? Why aren't you getting busy yourself?

Making no passes at them. Y'all is. The chicken, you're like, you're a chicken go away. Unloved. The uncles are like, what are you doing? Dude, that's a free fuck right there. It's crazy, man. People just fucking animals is crazy.

That's such a European thing. That is hard to agree. I mean, there's a documentary of, like, I think it's like South Americans, like going hard on the pain on like, was it goats or donkers or something like that? It's something like that. And there's just, it's like a, it's almost like a right of passage. Like before you fuck pussy, you fuck one of those type of animals. So that you have gonorrhea going in?

Like what? Yeah, what's the what I? It beats me, but it was it was culturally in the beginning somewhere in South America. I don't remember which country in the beginning of Castlevania animated series a guy is complaining about that Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because a dude fucked his like he fucked it a sheep or something to death. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah, that's right. He killed it. I forgot about that. It's not the first shot at the first. It's not the first shot at the first scene of the first of the first one is the chick burning there's like there's like single frame of a guy fucking a chicken and then it's that

yeah the guy talking about it you can pause immediately you see it and you see everybody cheering him on the chicken is blushing too

that's part that's the part of the show that's most like the game because it needs your reaction time right to fully appreciate it that is imposterous

It is It is Should we move on To some questions? Yeah, please We said that already But like whatever I don't think so

We're gonna Okay, so we're gonna move on To some questions Questions you can ask us Over at Patreon.com slash as a snark tank There's like a tier associated with it I don't know what's five dollars man Just come on

You should learn No I don't know I think it's better if I don't know Why right I don't know Because I don't whatever I don't know

It's like a blind box You know Just give a amount of money And you know It gets answered Tell you what I like that actually. Pick whatever amount you want and then we'll decide whether or not you qualify.

We'll definitely answer your questions for sure if you give us about 500. Just letting you know. That's in the running. You're in, you've joined the raffle for 500. Is $20 okay? That's a class of the Leafy asking for editors is $20. Holy shit. What was that guy's name?

Leefie. He said like, No, the other guy that we was working with that he offered. I don't remember. It was something like he was like, it's $20 okay to edit like everything. Yeah. This guy. I remember he had a hoodie on.

this stupid white guy. Why are so many people shitty? Like, why are so many inner people just absolute come? It's because of people like you. It's not, I don't think I did it. It's funny. That's true.

That's true. And I laugh at fucked up things, man, it is because of me, holy shit. Yeah. It's all my fault. Dude,

you put me out of this, Lyle sent me this video of like the, was it the Paralympics of that little odd world Munches Odyssey guy? No, okay,

for context. This video, you see like what's wrong with the dude and you're like there's no fucking way right and then they throw him in the water they throw him and he he goes he's a bullet wins he's a bullet yeah like to the point where now i'm questioning if whatever is up with him that makes him like shrimp shaped just makes him better at swimming than like a normal guy yeah he's like you think that we are more he's like how michael phelps is like exactly hairless as he needs to be to be as fast as he is I don't think that's what's up with Michael

I'm pretty sure he's got alopecia, right? Yeah, that's that was it. He does not have alopecia. He does not have alopecia. I know that for sure. He does he have? He's got like webbed feet. No, he's just,

he has an oar. Like that. Someone using an ore underwater is fucking bandit. It's just attached to his arms. You know, I'm imagining him swim. Like, the way that I imagined it, you know that like little cut on Jesus?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like an or just Like It's just Whatever Angry Angry video

I can't even I can't even Gay Gay nerd Yeah Gay Purve VI The I Angry video gay per

Gave yeah That's exactly what it says Versus the I rape gamer Do you remember the irate gamer Do you remember Chris Boers? Oh yeah he like hunts Ghosts now He hunts

He did you see him with the Christian Like he took like the cursed Christian Ambulet and like tried to communicate with the spirits in it. Dude, that shit is legitimately cursed. All the low cows have dealt with that shit recently. It is kind of crazy. It's kind of weird like, wait, the actual thing?

The Amulet? Like, yeah, so like they'll have... Is there an actual one? Like, I love that we're calling it the Ambulet. The Christian Amulet. Are there fake one? Like, I understand it has to be fake ones. Is there one like this is actually it? In my, in my worldview, it's just one. It's the same one

being passed around. Yeah. It's not, there's no duplicates. Yeah, it's like the sisterhood of the traveling pants or something. Yeah. Where it's like, it's just the Christian Medallion. He made it. He cursed it. You're talking about like the fucked up one with like the single eye that looks burnt, right? I think so. I actually don't really remember what it looks like. I know it's a son at you.

It's on it's a son at you, right? And it's, uh, the one that he has, it's like, I think it's just one of the ones he made, which is a little bit lame. Oh, right. But, uh, to me he was like, he even said it in the video. He's like, in his Chris Bore's voice. He was like, I like that is the first thing that fucking pops up. Yeah, it's the first thing. Yeah, so you see that, uh, it looks like a cookie essentially. Right.

It's one of the ice, um, the fucking ice pop thing. Okay. It's one of the ones he made. But even the video, he's like, this isn't the original, but like, some say that even the ones that, even if he touches them, there's like a darkness that, like, attaches them. Like, he's saying this, so, like, genuinely. Yeah.

I've seen interviews of him, like, on news stations where, like, he's really earnest about it. What? Chris Chan or? No, no. Chris Boers. Chris Boers. Chris is only. Christian is only able to be earnest.

He can't not be earnest, unfortunately. He has a curse of earnestness. I think every person that does ghost finding content should die in a ghost. And then become a ghost. I think that's, I think it's like a cycle. It's like a plant. You know, it grows. I wouldn't mind that seeds.

It dies. It grows back again. It's like watching Power Rangers. You know what's going to happen in every single episode. Like I'm cool with them just dying and then becoming a ghost in every episode. Like every single person. There should be whoever has the most subscribers has to have like a big. box and then all the rest of them die

and we put their corpses in that box and then when his back breaks and he dies that's when we stop doing it that's so where's the cycle that exactly well whatever whatever the subscriber number like limit for that is you know

that's its own kind of rat king in a way yeah yeah the ghost hunter that's the dead back king I like that but anyway this guy I'm not going to read that name again he wrote in he says hello fathers which co-host would you trust write your biography. What would you expect them all to do with it?

There's no way. I guess we had a, so we did an extra, like our extra premium episode. We did, we finished each other's lives as from like this point. Oh yeah, we wrote the rest of each other's lives. Yeah. And this is essentially that. He fucked it up. I fucked up Chris's because I have Chris dying.

He put him in a loop of dying every time. It's so funny. You killed me immediately after we leave this room basically. You didn't give me. I gave you a whole life. He became the president of like a country Two countries Mexico and America

I gave you successful I gave you some hardship I gave you like a fulfilling end And you killed me immediately Has two hours of life I'm dying But it's always the loop of him Going to the future

Being captured So wait how do you get there So the I don't want to go over this again He uses this microwave It blows up Everybody thinks he died Sweeney's my answer

He gets mine Yeah It'll be the war fucking thing you've ever read it'd be really funny you know what you can do all of ours he would I don't okay how would I guess I would let I guess I would have like a simple life he just dies like a really tragic plane crash

or something like that's very likely now Lyle would just fall asleep on the toilet then like the toilet would flush and just drain its whole body out his ass oh like Elvis yeah yeah and then Chris would just obviously the teleportation time travel thing yeah it's a constant loop of death fucking waste of a person

Chris gets stabbed by a person. Chris gets stabbed. Like, Chris goes to the future, gets teleported back to the past, is in shock. And then some guy leaves the store and stabs him. Some random Armenian dude just stabs him. He dies on the street. And it's in a span of two hours. It's two lived hours.

He meets like these time bandits. He meets these fucking imagine dragon AI bots. It's crazy It comes back and gets killed Oh my god, dude. It's really funny if you're not Chris. And like that was a clone And it never gets to his apartment

To stop him from doing the microwave thing So that's why it keeps happening. It was pretty brilliant. It came to go really well. It was really stupid But it ended off way needed Than it should. To me it was as stupid as like whoever,

like wrote Terminator where like they're like at the end like oh and then Sarah and they fuck and then it creates you know it was like they wrote this thing and then they figured that out of the very end and they're like we're fucking geniuses it was like one of those things smart dude let's suck her own dicks like it was definitely not

planned but I like it's insane I like I like cyclical time bullshit that makes no sense it is fun yeah I think time shit is fun but like I don't like it's because something fuck shit has to happen I want somebody to go back in time and like I don't know like high five bin Laden and it turns him into like super cool like goku or something like that and it's like five's bin Laden yeah like somehow through some means someone does something really

small stupid yeah that turns into like really horrible law are you aware of uh bin laden would you high five baby ben laden high five baby yeah i do it i do it fucking dad is so confused you're in like you appear out of a pool of energy and he's like and say saying something i'm not going to repeat probably because that's out there. And he high-fived the baby and he's just like, what do you high-five baby bin Laden is the most low stakes? You show him that diagram of like him in the underground bunker thing.

Oh, what's the dumb? Has someone done that as a meet like the EKG of like, you know, she's looking at her baby and is that? That has to exist. That has to be out there. Yeah, 100%. That guy who died spolunking.

That guy's great. Nutty Puddy. cave or whatever the fuck? That guy's great. I'm not even joking. It's something that stupid. A fucking loser dies at a diagonal point.

It can't be. People like that. What a loser. He died diagonally. There's no way it's called, oh my God. Yeah, was that right? Yes.

Yeah, nutty putty cave. That is fucking, I can't believe that's real. I can't feel sympathy with people like that. That man had a new board baby. And he went,

he went to, I got to go crawl in a fucking really tight ditch diagonally and die right way. Hi, my name is white guy and I must die. Like he died like this. Yeah, he did die.

He just, and now he's fucking head standing. Also, I'll be real with you. I thought you were doing a bit when you googled it and it was called Nutty Puddy Cave. No. Literally nutty and this dumb ass died on

his head pissing and shitting all over himself. I can't. It's hard for me. We've been over it before, but it's like... We have, yeah. It's a fucking waste of life. I know. It's just so...

It's tragically stupid, but, like, it's like, it's one of those things where it's like, I can only feel bad for people if they, if genuinely they're in a situation where, like, they could not predict something crazy. It's tragic. Like, a tragedy, yeah. Like, even something like you go on a plant, on a commercial flight, like, oh, I'm going to go from Dallas to New York. Oh, I'm dead.

That sucks. If you crawl. in a fucking crawl space ditch under a mountain between like a couple of tectonic plates that you can't fucking fit through

and then you die I can't I don't know man I can't I don't got it in me to feel bad at that point I can laugh at all death because of the fact

that there's a bit of comedy in death to me you know there's a degree of funniness you know yeah but like I can always think the situation

is unfortunately tragic but like never this guy but like oh no this guy a jackass. Some laugh at him he's a jackass. That baby's going to have a way better dad. I hope his son, I hope his child is nowhere near stupid as that person. But they are, they got to die in the same place. They got to go find their dad's body. He's either going to be like, I have to

conquer what my dad couldn't conquer. I got to go find my dad's bodies. And then they're fucking macaroni baloney cavern and fall in there. Maybe their lifespan, it's like a fucking prang mantis thing where it's like they reproduce and then immediately die. Yeah. They're that, yeah, that's their genetics.

Spolokers are preing banses. It's so unfortunate, but like, I don't know, because there's always something, it's like, there's always something funny.

Like, if something funny happens, like if I'm about to die, like I totally just joke like one time we're backing out the house, right? And I was like, what if I'm about to get by a car

and I turn to you and say meep, meep and then the car obviously hits me and I fucking blow up. And when it was like, that'd be fucking horrible. And I'm like,

I'd laugh my ass off. You wouldn't because you'd be dead. me dead if I could still be around like if I'm a specter looking at my body looking like fucking cyborg but in the worst way right I'd be laughing my ass off after your funeral yeah yeah no laugh at my funeral if you said meet me yeah that's pretty like that's pretty funny you've you've gotten the card look I think I would have to be disconnected from that actual moment in time not even if you're saying meet meep and it happens I'm probably like laugh at me what just happened I'm first confused I think the laughter would come way after I process

Like that just actually happened Yeah And then the last Yeah Meep Meep Meep Because at a certain point

You're like Did I just hear that Or like did that happen? You know Did I imagine the meet meep Or did he actually say it? It's not impossible to imagine It's like

I don't know The worst things I've ever seen A little kid in my hometown The mama's about cross at the crosswalk but then like a car was coming making a right really shouldn't make it right

she fucking like stopped too sudden now the kid was a little bit too old to be a stroller anyway but still the kid fell motherfucker guy his leg ran over

and I was like the timing of it you saw this happen yeah so this was right by the Chevron on my this one right where I used to live by

and anybody that lives in Lahara you know Idaho and La Habra Boulevard you'll know that Chevron and it was funny the timing

the timing made it funny it's not funny explaining it it's seeing it happen I was like I can't fucking believe that happened in the moment the rapid succession of I was at I was at Disney World one time or a Scatilovian adventure

where you're going toward Cars and Land and you're walking down that little canyon and this little kid was laughing this little kid was like being a jerk and he like fell over and some guy

kicked the kid in the face when he was walking. And I saw it and I started crying. Like, for long crying. It was like, what happened? I was like, I just saw this guy kick a kid and then shake the kid off his foot. And I was just like, this is not real. Accidental harm befalling children is funny.

It is. Like when they fall off like a playground thing, it's funny. It's funny to watch. Yeah. Were you there with us when Jalen slapped that baby? No, I heard about it. Oh, yeah, yeah. I heard about it.

Our buddy Jalen It wasn't on purpose, obviously. We were walking out of like, we were at the Palisades Bowl, we were watching, it was like after prom or something. What's the long time ago? What's slapping a baby?

What's wrong? I mean, many things. But what? I mean, I don't know, actually. I can't argue it. Was it being loud?

Because if it was being loud. It was, it was minding its own business. It was mining its own business. We were coming out of, we were watching, we came out of a theater after, like, at the Palisadesian.

We just saw Super 8 or something. It was like, I don't even remember what that movie was. It was like trying to be ET, but not. I don't know. It was weird. We walked out of it and we were laughing about something, and Jaylin was like,

he loses control of his hands when he laughs. He just like flails all over the place. Obviously, you would know. Because you know him. Not because you're black. Oh. No one to show that. I wasn't even thinking of it.

You're so racist. He's got to justify racism in your thoughts. I don't have to justify it at all. I know it's real. But so he's losing control of his arms and he's laughing. And then this little. lady is walking by us at the same time and she's dragging her kid. Her kid's crying. He's like really sad. He's like screaming about something.

And she's angry. He tells like, he's had a hard day. And his hand is coming down right when the kid is passing. So it's just like a right in the face. And the mother doesn't notice at all. And Jaylin puts his head. It was like, why is my hand so wet? And then he turns around and then he sees the baby crying even more because he just got slapped by an adult man. And then the mom yanks him further. He was like, stop crying. And we cracked. It was the funniest.

I rolled around on the floor, actually, in the middle of this mall, screaming, Howley. You fucking roffle? I literally ruffled. Was it similar to this? You ruffled IRL? I ruffled IRL. Was it similar to this? What is that?

Is that a priest? Yeah. Yeah. It's not playing, by the way. Oh, I thought I'm sorry. There you go. And he's like, yeah, he just slats this shit out of the baby. Oh, that's crazy.

You just, you know, the baby's being a little bit crying. And then he's just like, shut up. That was a little bit. That was like a little bit. It was kind of like that. It was a little like slap like that. You seen that video the guy playing like Connect skiing. And the baby like walks behind it when you fucking, it does like a flip.

You guys in a classic when the guy's break dancing and he does the back. Yes. It's the baby. Yeah. That's the street fighter theme and the baby fucking like sprawl. That is so classic. That's beautiful. Why do people sprawl like that?

They just like lock and like it's going. What do you mean? You're still unlocked. What do you mean? That's true. It's a simple stun lock, yeah. It's literally a stun lock. Basic stun lock, yeah.

Basic stun lock mechanics. Bugs stunlock mechanics. I feel like you haven't lived, if you've hit a baby. I've never hit a baby. That's what I mean. I haven't lived either yet. You know, like if I ever have a baby,

then I'm going to live. Right, right. I can wait to make my baby be afraid of shit they shouldn't be afraid of. Like, you better watch out for the wind when the wind picks up too much. That means a rapist is going to come and get you. And the kid is just like,

what? Every time. Speaking of rapist, my, uh, amazing. My wife just got a new job and, uh, she, she, uh, takes public transportation. And she was, well, she was walking to the bus or something. She told me this morning, she was like, hey, uh, this guy rolled down the window and asked me to hop in. I'll take you wherever you need to go.

And I'm like, that still happens? Like, I thought like, that's not a thing anymore. Like you, you, like, nobody, there would be a zero percent sense anybody would ever do it. So you would just stop. Like, oh, you always got to carry C4 with you. Wherever you go. That's what I'm saying, but it's weird that, like, I feel like back maybe in the 80s, people were still accepting rides maybe. Like, oh, yeah, thanks, mister.

And I don't, like, now, what is it, 20, 25? Like, you feel like, those guys are zero out of 100. Like, it's never worked. Yeah. I was, like, I was, like, walking. It must have been, like, one or two. Yeah. And this woman walks by me, she's, like, clearly distraught.

She's got an accent. And she's like, do you know if the train is still running? I'm like, I have no idea. I don't think. What am I the train man? What is this? And like someone is driving by was just like, I think she asked him too. And then I like kind of like I turn around and I see her getting in his car.

I'm like, I might be the last person to ever see her alive. But you know, she's got to get somewhere. So I guess flip a coin. I'm not going to, I'm not going to fucking drive her. That's fucking wild. Who does? Like it's just so beyond stupid. It's too much true crime, I feel like, for that kind of thing to be successful.

For any more. Like, I feel like at this point, it's just you only, you can only do it like via Uber where it's like, okay, here's an actual verification system. But what does that say about the situation that she was running from? Yeah, that means she was in such a bad situation. She was asking random people. I don't trust people at all in general. She trusts the guy that probably hurt her more than the other person was going to. The other person was going to slap her up a bit and this guy cut her up in a pieces.

Like, yeah, man, potential, dude. She had a bad role, man, she got snake guys. I could have stopped it. She would have had to sleep on the street. Double one, you know. You got a bad individual, you roll two ones. I could have done something about it. I could have made it like a, like a bad situation guarantee, but maybe she wouldn't make it.

Yeah, yeah. Whatever, there's other women out there. There's more. There's more. We don't need that one. Yeah. That's so crazy. Look, man, I can't feel bad for me.

I mean, at a certain point, it's kind of like that, like, fucking cave guy. Like, at a certain point, you can't save everybody. Yeah, yeah, that's, that's nutty putty cave. It really is. It really is the same thing. Are you sure? It's slightly different. One was a basestuation that led to a dumb action.

One is a dumb ass that led to his own death. Yeah. Yeah. There's also the fact that, like, what is it, what is the caveman running from? Honorhood, apparently. To be fair. I'm valid. Yeah, yeah.

What if he faked his own death? And it wasn't him in the cage. He just, it's a piece of, it's a pair of shoes. It's a manichin. It's a pair of shoes. It can't just be a pair of shoes.

It's a pair of shoes. That's all it is. So the authorities showed up. And you're like, point where you can see, you can only see shoes. I'm sure of it. Because there's nothing else,

you get in there, right? What is it? The fucking Wizard of Oz? It's just like the legs hanging out? You just leave a pair of Tim's there. And you're like, you'll never be able to figure it out. I got the, guys,

I got the perfect. out. I'm gonna shove these fake legs and they're just holding this amount. And they just, the authorities show up. I'm like, oh, there's Tim's. They just look in the hall. They can't get in there. They look at it. They didn't even try. They didn't even try. They didn't even grab. They didn't do anything. He's fasted them real good in there. He's gone. He did it real good. You was crazy about those deaths. The people who die in those situations, they don't get them out of there. Like, they leave them in there. They're like either right. And they let them decompose. They fill it with like cement.

Oh, dude, do you hear someone stole green boots? What's that? Oh, is that the fucking on the mountain in Mount Everest? It's on Everest. There's like a guy who's like just became a marker because they couldn't get him out of there. And he's got green boots. So they call him green boots.

Oh. But he disappeared. That is crazy. Someone stole him. Someone stole. Some billionaire was like, I want that. And then they got it. I want green boots in my library.

That's crazy. In my study. I wish to witness him. Bring that green-footed bitch in my office step. He goes in lying there. You're like, ah, good. Post-hase.

I'm sure it's fucking, uh. And he buys LeBron next. Who's the foyer with you, green boots? He resurrects green boots. It's been 3,000 years since you died, green boots.

3,000. And I've been thinking about you every second ever since. He had green boots 3,000 years ago. They've stayed green. The boots have stayed green. He had green Adidas

3,000 years ago. Welcome back to the modern world. That is... How recent is that? That they stole green boots. I don't know how recent he is. He's been there since like the 60s. No, but I mean, how recently did they steal him?

Was this recent? Yeah, it was within the last 10 years. That is crazy. So Green Boots is technically, he's technically a fucking mummy. I mean, he's like an Arctic mummy. A frozen mummy. Arctic mummy is like an awesome band name, by the way. It's like an Arctic mummy.

The Arctic Mummy. would go hard. Arctic mummy is sick. The snow mummies is pretty cool, but so no green boots. The body of an Indian climber is still on Mount Everest. The body is believed be that of Swang Pajor who died in 96. They're saying it's not true, but I don't like that.

I prefer the reality. The problem is I don't believe AI. I think a British pervert took him to use his spices used him as spices directly. The first time he's ever tried spice. He's got like a grater. I hope it's taught. Have you ever had like authentic British food? It's disgusting.

Yeah. It's like when people like no shepherd pie though. The shepherd's pie like the, that shit's delicious. Isn't that Irish or Scottish? I mean, I had it there though. I had it there still. I imagine the shepherd's pie you had had, had spices in it. They were Caribbean.

I had it there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of the problem. Like that on, they didn't authentic, man. I was around Caribbean so I was there. So I had a good time, but like, in Africans. Like they put just enough salt and stuff to where it's not bitter. And that's fucking horrible. Because it's just like, it's just like, well, it's no longer has a better taste. Now it's just neutral. And I'm like, what the fuck is this? Every day in my life, I really so upset that the British almost took over the world entirely. Like, every day of my life, I think about it. And I'm like, we, what the fuck was the planet on?

Do you feel like they're getting back at us somehow? Like, well, you know how our- Jamaican, they got back at me pretty. They got back at us pretty good. I guess I'm talking about the American Empire right now. It's not doing so well. Do you think, like, somehow they did this somehow? I think, I really, like, mad.

I think Japan won at the end. I think Japan really won. I think like, every time I think I'm like, oh, yeah, they won. They really won this war. I think so, I think they leveled up. Like, they were so radioactive, they figured everything out quickly.

Like, it helped. Yeah, yeah. It's like, like, they did they der, Hintai They theorized that Like mushrooms Gave us Made our brains

Like expand Fashion than any other species Right And I think the radiation From those bombs Perfected them to where Yeah They figured out Hentai

And they figured out Hentai before they figured out Freaking anime They were like Yeah Hintai was first They did Hentai Then they did Mario

That's probably true though I'm sure They were just drawing like dicks and butts and shit. And you ever seen the Sistine Chapel? There's dicks all over that thing. Yeah. Exactly.

And he painted it like this. Yeah, yeah, Michael. What do you think? No, he painted it like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking jorking it. Do you think the first drawing was of like a vagina or like tit or something like that? If I drew it, that'd be the first thing I'd draw. It was probably a dick. I'm sure a dick was the first thing ever drawn.

Yeah, yeah. You think dick is like a buffalo. I don't know why. I feel like for whatever reason, like what is the first drawing ever drawn? My head says Buffalo. Of course you say Buffalo. Buffalo? Yeah.

I feel like that's true. Well, first of all, I don't think the first people here first. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. I'm not saying it makes sense. I just came to mind. That's probably the first cave drawing you saw was a buffalo. Buffalo with big old tits.

Yeah. A big titted buffalo. Damn. You know, Buffalo would have big ass tits, dude. It would. It would. It would. Okay.

Bro, you see that monkey that was circulating around that big tits and people were like getting ideas. It was kind of crazy. Like Instagram was like and people are like, hmm, you know, like they were kind of doing those things like maybe. And I was like, this is crazy. This is, uh, it's, they, they will fuck animals. It just needs human parts. And that kind of really concerned me. Yeah, people are disgusting. Yeah. It's really concerning, but it needs to be, well, I guess you, you like, what those Digimon, you, you, you, but they're not, they're human-esque while I'm fucking on. Well, speaking of disgusting people. What do we got? We have questions for our patrons.

Oh, right, right. Yeah, we got way off track. That's what this is. Degenerate. That is this podcast. I cast Level 10 back pain with constant sneezing Rodin. That's insane. He says, I don't know if some of y'all are aware of the PSN outage, but I'm not too beat up about it. I'll gladly accept

Bloodborn in 60 frames per second as an apology. What would you guys accept it as an apology? What? I think it's over now. Oh, yeah. If they didn't announce Bloodbourne, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, it doesn't matter. The PSN thing, yeah, it's over. It's not happening anymore. It happens. Like, Like, it's, this was like maybe like a day and a half or something.

It's crazy. But like, I remember 2011 when it was down for like three weeks. Yeah. I remember like, like, refund a bunch of people. I remember getting fucking hacked in like a bunch of, uh, games were bought through my account. Everybody's PlayStation account has lost them like $100 that they have to argue with their bank over. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. By the fucking never winter gold or whatever the fuck. Yeah. Yeah.

I got a bunch of DLC or like fake currency in a game that I don't play. Yeah, that's exactly what happened to me, is they bought like $500 worth of, it was specifically like never winter shit. And then like, I was like talking to the PlayStation guy, the tech support guy. And he was like, okay, but this is like you're one. If this happens again, you're on your own. I was like, excuse me. He said that. He said you're on your own.

Yeah, he basically said that. He was like, yeah, everybody gets one. And then you never get your money back again if this happens again. That's so crazy. Dude, this, you can see that these. transactions came from fucking Singapore or something. Yeah. This is your fault. Yeah.

And then they, yeah, every like six years, they have to like apologize and give you like little big planet three or something. You see they had a credit card. You see that? So, yeah, yeah, this was like a few years ago. But like Sony was like, yeah, we're going to do a PlayStation credit card. Oh, great idea. You can't, no. Great.

Absolutely not. Very good idea. That's such a bad idea. What does that mean? Like how Best Buy has one and shit. I don't know. I always hated. those. Well, I hate the concept of credit cards

in general, but like, the idea that like, oh, here's a fucking place, here's a here's a fucking live leak credit card. I would have, lively credit card. He would have maxed the fuck out of it. I would have had a black card. It's like that frame of the guy like jumping in front of the bus. Yeah, like the

percentage on that card is like 45% interest. It's going to be fucking like APR is 90s 96. And they give him 10,000. They give him 10,000. You can spend 10,000. That is crazy. $96%. He owes $1,000.

In one weekend, I'm like, guys, I got to kill myself. I had to kill it. I didn't even notice that shit was down. Someone said. Yeah, me neither. I was on my place station. I was watching like 20 peaks and shit. I think I tried to play Fortnite and I was like, I guess not.

You supposed to play it Fortnite? Lily loves Fortnite. I play it for her. She loves watching you play. Yeah. What about what rivals? I'm playing on PC now. Oh, right.

I'm never playing a shoot. in game on console again. It's insane. I said it before. I understand. I just don't like, I don't feel like, I get it.

I totally get it. I just, I just don't feel like I'm gaming. It isn't as relaxing as playing on a console. That's all. That's really the only thing is that competitively, I completely understand,

but I don't feel like I'm gaming anymore. I feel like I'm doing a task. Yeah. I just edit too much on my computer. So it's kind of, I can kind of, I can kind of kick back a little bit. They have rumors.

Like, if it's like, they have the rumor now about, what is it, the steam machine? It's like, Can you do that right? Clicking your pattern? Yeah,

I don't know. There's a few things that there was like a leak for, they keep having a headset leak. They're making a new, like, yeah, yeah, they're making a new headset that's like leaked like 18 times. And like sometimes it's like them that leaks it. Like they patch something into Steam

that has like an icon of like the controller and shit. So it's like, it's probably common. Yeah. I want a new Steam deck really bad. Why? What do you mean? Like a new version of you?

Like a new kind of. seem to act. Why? I want a real strong one. Yeah. Oh, so you can just just something with not use it enough. No, I'm not. Just to play Hades on it. That's what I'm saying. And fucking like emulator like emulate like old games. Yeah, my steaming is an emulator. That's it. Well, the thing to me is like, I literally have been using it to stream all the stuff from my PC and for like for my PlayStation. And it's like that part is real good. It works so much better than I thought. So the point where it's like, I don't really need it to be stronger because I'm already like, it's already

running off the PC. It would be cool if it ran like, yeah, if it ran off. Yeah, if it ran off native. I exclusively streamed, like, Sparking Zero handheld walking around my house playing in. It's surprisingly good, isn't it? It's really, really, I have terrible Wi-Fi where I live, so that's the only downside.

But it is really good. Is it wired? Yeah. Wi-Fi is it's not good where I live. It's like actually a dead zone. That's really confusing. Because I feel like the zone here is pretty bad, but, like, it's perfectly fine when I'm doing Wi-Fi stuff.

Yeah, I mean, it's not, it's not using your internet to do. that is it? It's just using your router? Yes. Am I stupid? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You go to get a bigger router. I think I have the second best one. I'm probably going to get the best one. Yeah. Just get a big evil router. Yeah. Just get a big evil router. Yeah. It looks like a fucking sex doll. Yeah. Actually, that's kind of have it right on my fucking dresser. You just, that's brilliant actually. Because that's the only reason I would get a sex

doll. Like so he just like it has a little slide. You put the router in it and people are like, why do you have a fuck doll here? It's on. It's my router. It's my router. It's my I would maybe get like a sex doll to like have sex with it or something. I want to get a sex doll really bad. They're not. They just can't. I just. The two-on County Valley for me, man.

That's the end of the story. You ever see people have like, like, like, it looks like serial killer shit where it's like the torso. It's like, oh yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about. I want one so bad, but I know that's the, that is, that's the end. Like, that's like the last, that's like the last scene of the movie. Like I walk in and I see it. like good and I close the

last argument you ever have with your girlfriend. You go, fine! You walk out of the room, you come back with that and slap it on the table. This is what you're worth to me. That is crazy. Dude,

does I know that? What's so crazy about those? What's most upsetting about it? What is more upsetting about that? The fact that it is a torso or the fact that like they're so small. You know what I mean?

Like the fact that they're so small. They're small so it's like a little upsetting. but also like would it be better if it was bigger really? To clarify for the viewers at home I would get a proportionate one I would get a tall one actually I have seen a tall

I got a giant one actually You guys see that gift there's like a guy kicking it It's like a voluptuous one It's like a huge one I gotta get I had to get it's like kicking in and it's so big So like at least it's proportionately like this is an adult But like it's still just like you chop somebody

You're fucking a part of them It's crazy But it's, how are you supposed to throw those away? There is no emotional, well, I, dude, I don't know, man. You don't want to see eyes and stuff. Because that's all what a woman is to me anyway. It's the Sto's Park about being honest. Yeah.

From being honest. The ass of titties in the eyes. Yeah. Well, no, I don't want to see eyes. You don't want to see eyes. I don't want to try to connect with this robot that I'm blasting loads in, you know? What if it was eyes, but they were like, they were just kind of like on. Like random eyes.

Yeah. Put them on the butt. Put the eyes on the butt and it looks like you're like, like, like, like, Like you're giving you head, I guess. Like you're fucking an alien or something. All in one. All in one, dude. The all in one.

Sex bot one. Sex bot one. They're all in one. Yo, what if Microsoft is working on that right now? They're not innovative enough to do that anymore. Well, I mean, they don't got that kind of innovation. They won't even do VR. They're not interested in porn.

Yeah. They got a weird system going. I don't really understand them. I don't know what they're doing. They're confusing. Because like there's like no VR. They're going to. Sure.

what? They're going to sell off their IPs I'm sorry, they're just going to start Microsoft, no, I don't listen them out. That makes no sense. Well, what makes sense what they're doing? I don't understand. They might just stop making consoles. Yeah, I see that happening.

That. But they've been hinting it for years. Not sell off their IPs, they're going to lease their IPs out of those people to use them. They said they were doing that. Yeah. They said they weren't getting out of the consoles, but I why would they not?

Yeah, that's, I feel like that's just like a holdover where it's just kind of like, you say that. You never say, oh, yeah, we're just giving up that you, yeah. investors never want to hear that. Right. The Xbox is going to be like an optional machine. I don't know why you would choose it.

I actually like their machines quite a bit, but it's just like there's no real reason. I never had a problem with the last one. The last one I bought was that one S. I didn't buy any of the new gens. But like I had no problems with that machine at all. Like it's fine. Yeah.

They work perfectly fine. I just don't like if you're going to get Xbox games on PC and PlayStation. Listen, Lau, what would you have called? so when Xbox 1 dropped What would you have called that? Not the Xbox 1 Right Okay, I'll say this

I would not have called it the 720 You would call the Zem 20 I remember I remember there was a lot of people Calling it that They're like oh let's keep doing turns Yeah I would have done the next box Yeah the next box would be good

The Xbox is a little Just some fucking one of those Revelations revolution kind of words You know Imagine what about infinite The Xbox Infinite Infinite yeah The Halo Infinite came out

Xbox Infinite Infinite You know what's funny about it That would have been bad because the reason they called it the one is because it's like it does everything. It's all in one. I don't fucking care. I'm like, bro, come on. The Xbox Ultimate or the fucking.

You can car bomb with this console. You can car bomb with this console. Remember Collinbine? You can be in Columbine. This can make you be at Columbine. That's like that Zuckerberg thing where he was like in VR in like Puerto Rico after the hurricane. Look at my mind. It's like I'm really in Columbine.

And he's like twisting around like a connect. What do you think of his new arc? You see he's like, he's all dripped out now. He wears these big shirts. He's definitely dating a black woman. He's definitely dating a black woman right now. He's married to, oh, he could be, yeah.

He's married to an Asian woman, but I'm sure he's probably fucking some black chick, right? Because yeah, he looks like cool now, I guess. And just Zuckerberg. Before we move on to that, yeah. The 720's a terrible idea. Yeah.

It was always dumb. It would, like, if you want like the whole, like, oh, it's everything. It's called like the Xbox Omni or something. Omni would have been cool. That's a proper. Probably that's of give the anything else

Of thought I've given it now Anything that's what I've landed on I actually feel like their code names for these things Were better than the same of the scarlet What was the other one? Scorpio Scorpio Scarlet I guess is like a color so I guess it's like It would be kind of weird

But like green so yeah But it was better to like it's way better to me than Scorpio would have been dope actually Scorpio's not bad I have a have a soft spot for that because the Simpsons Oh yeah Or fucking just cause Scorpio

Exactly Oh my God That would have been nice. He's having flashbacks right now. Just Cause. Just Cause cool. That's crazy. I only played the second one.

We have a video right now on like video game grappling hooks. So I've been like, I've been downloading all those. Oh, yeah. I haven't played it yet. Nice. I remember that being a distinct. I have a vivid memory of like playing the Just Cause like demo. Right.

On the 360 and like this is crazy. Yeah, you cause habit. You cause habit. Yeah. Those games are just cause. Just cause. Yeah, just cause. was awesome.

Very B movie oriented. Not the Jerry Seinfeld movie. I mean, like literally the publication of movie. I didn't think.

I have to clarify because I'm me. Yeah. They would expect me to talk about B movie. Very, yeah. All right, let's see.

This is a weird, I don't even understand how to answer this one, but like six, six hands of ant wrote in. Six hands of ant. Like ants?

Like the creature? The creature. Yeah, because it was supposed to be the creature. Because there's a you in there. But then, you know,

people just pronounce things weird. Okay, what do they want? How do you pronounce it? You say Auntie? Like a person who's literate. I say Auntie as well. I'm just literate, you know, but it's a Southern thing though.

It's a Southern thing. Southerners like pronounce things wrong on purpose so you know that you're from that. On purpose? Yeah. No, that's like a real thing. They'll be like, we know it from out of town

if you say this or that. They literally talk about it all the time. How it's like this off day. Even fucking people in Nevada do that now. They're like, oh, we know you're from out of town if you say Nevada. And I'm like, yeah, I don't care. That's who cares.

This person says, which curse we're choosing between two curses here. You must always tell the truth or always lie. Willingly killing yourself is only possible if you choose the truth, as that would be a truthful revelation in its own right. Why does everyone put the killing yourself after? Because they expect you to kill yourself to get out of it. I would just kill myself. More often than not, I'm like, I just don't die.

Whatever, dude. So you can never tell the truth again or you can never lie again? I would do never, never lie. Never lie. Never lie. Never tell the truth is like, that's insane. How does that even work? They both get dangerous eventually, but like at the same time, it's like, how would you do, like, how would you navigate through life without being up to tell the truth?

Could you just not talk? Ooh, I guess. Lawyering, write shit down, brother. But no, you have to tell the truth. It would still be the truth. Oh, well, he didn't. Well, he did say you always have to lie, not you can't tell the truth, right? Because there's a difference between like skirting the truth.

in lying. Did he say lie? Did he specifically say you can only lie? Okay, so the thing is like you must always tell the truth or always lie. So you always have to directly lie. Oh, whoops. Sometimes that happens. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes. Lye your way into a truth? That's interesting.

I think you could. Double negatives. So that's kind of like that. I think I would always lie. What happens if you don't know what the truth is and you think you're lying and that ends up being true. Do you die? Oh, shit. Exactly. That's fucking. Can you blow up? Can you break the cursing yourself?

It's like two men ask you, one of us always has themselves something. It's like, which one of you guys is lying? And he's going to point to that one. It's not lying. I don't know. If you believe it. I think we can all agree that the lying one would just be like a wackadood existence that you would fucking hate. Within the first week, you would see like some horrible, unforeseen side effect of it.

Probably. Yeah. That said, it'd be a lot funnier. It would be a lot more entertaining of an existence. I think also it would be funny. fuck too. There's some really fuck situations as well.

It just, the thing of it would, it would be difficult to do this show if we couldn't lie. Because a lot of this is just making shit up each other.

But if we also couldn't tell the truth at the same time, it would be insane as well too. But like this show doesn't depend on us telling the truth at all. Yeah, but then it's not even about the show.

It's just regular shit. Like, hey, I'm going to go order some coffee. You have to get the raw order. I was like, I was gonna fucking go. I don't know, a fucking dick on a plate.

Like, it would drive. It would drive. It's like, oh, would you like anything else? We would start the podcast. We would start the podcast. Like, what's going on? This is the shit, piss fuck, retard podcast. This is not the snark tank podcast.

I guess everything would be a lot. It would be hell, actually. Yeah, yeah. It'd be awful. Both of them, both of them are horrible. But the time would be mega boring, but you'd have a safe life, I think. Well, no, you'd also ruin a lot of relationships. Because everyone lies to a certain degree.

So you would just ruin relationships. Someone would say you don't like you, like, you're stupid. I don't like this. You would have to, exclusively associate with people that you feel entirely positive about all the time. Which is impossible. Yeah, you'd have like three friends. Yeah.

You'd have like, you'd have like every time Lily would talk and you'd say something stupid. I'd be like, I think you're really fucking stupid. Every time. That would ruin some relationship. People would like, that's really dumb.

Would it ruin? Well, it would. Well, because people don't want the truth. That's why. No, but what I'm saying is like the idea of the truth, not really want it.

But what have you. met somebody who like they were like oh I appreciate that you would help some people you've kind of weeding out potentially bad connections in the inevitable a bunch of autistic people because there are a bunch of people who like

everyone who's just what if you give someone the truth and it leads to something really fucked up though I don't know I can't control that you can't control that well you can't control that but you also know that you are absolutely the catalyst that's made that happen can't you just lie by just being negative but having them understand that so He'd be like, hey, hey, dumb bitch, I don't have a curse on me that requires me to lie.

And then first they're confused. So you have to like, you have to treat. There's no reason to call them dumb bitch, by the way. That's just not even a truth or lie matter. That's just rude. That is a jackass moment. So everybody involved in your life essentially has to treat you like you're operating on opposite day rules and understand that. Yeah.

And if you have a watch. And you can't even convey that to them. Yeah. No, you think if you dress, if you dress like a super villain called like doctor opposite or some shit like that,

do you think you'd get more of legal. Because you have to lie. I mean, I don't think there's anything dishonest about the way that you dress. Yes. It is if you're trying to convey a truthful idea. This is what I think falls apart.

Well, then you would be dressed as not doctor opposite. So you would be lying. No. Exactly. Exactly. This is hard. Yeah, you can't absolutely, you're right because like, your life is dressed right now.

Like, this is, this is a lie. Like, I don't, I never do this. This is a lie. I never dress like this ever. Did you dress like that? Because it's like the 300. I wanted to, I wanted to celebrate a milestone and but not mention it at all. And it just, it just completely came up right now.

So I'm like, let me. I don't want to mention it at all, but I'm just like, all right. You got like mildly dressed. It just got, I was like, let me semi get a little, look a little. The N7 beanie? Yeah, I couldn't find my, the golf hat, because I usually wear, like, a golf hat when it's nice because I don't like to do it. Those are like the newsy caps, right? Yeah, yeah, I love those things.

Yeah, I never, I don't do, like, I have hair, but I don't do anything with it. So I always wear a hat. And so even when it's, we should all shave bald. I want to do the bald pattern so hard. He won't fucking do it. So we want to do like a coldestack. He's the least reason to not want to do it, too. Because imagine, imagine him having like a fade, like a box fade.

And then a coldest sack, like, balls box. How do you know that? I just. Because you're lying to me. Dude, he grows his hair back in like a month. It's so stupid. Like, he just won't do it. It's so, dude, you'll, hair will go back immediately.

So you guys want to, you want to do like a skullet? Is that what you're doing? I want to have a horseshoe pattern. Right. You have a horseshoe pattern. I want you to do the horseshoe pattern. No. Or, or, I want you to straighten it.

I think, I think you with bangs would be hysterical. Like, the image of you with bangs, I think would be everywhere within like two days. Not okay. I would, I would, I would have loved myself. anymore. I don't think you understand nobody with bangs loves themselves. That's why they get them.

Yeah, to shield themselves in the world. And good night. So long. Lily would be so mad at me if I came back and I was with bangs. Why? Why would you be mad at you? Why did you do that?

And I was like, for a joke, it's not funny though. Okay, well, guess what? Cut it off. It'd be funny for a moment. It'd be hilarious for a moment until I look in the mirror and I'm like, I was like a fucking...

It would be hilarious for a moment for you. be hilarious for everybody forever. Yes. That, that, I see it so clearly in my head, man. It is so, I could paint. If I could paint, I could paint you the fucking best. Let's do it. Let's get the hot comb.

Let's get it done. Oh, my God. Let's go. We should do it now. I wanted to do it. We should have did it right now. It would have been great. Okay.

I want to do it for 300. I will do it April 4s. No, that's too soon. That's too soon. Not to go to a wedding around then. Oh, yeah. I don't have, like, towards the month. Yeah.

I don't have hair. I want to have hair from the wedding. Oh my God. I don't want to be bald. This guy's worried. This guy looks fucking vanity at somebody else's wedding. I want to have hair for my wedding. Oh my God. I got to look good at somebody else's wedding.

You know, their big day, I got to make sure I look good. Like, come on, bro. Eat, eat, get done. While you're right. This is literally how I'm going. I'm going to the wedding like this. I'm going there at least three Viagridan. Just two extends.

Fucking a rhino pill. A rhino pill. Just sitting there uncomfortable. This guy. Were you, were you walking? With us when Zach ate those rhino pills? No. That's a weird as fucking...

Why? A report pick of the board egg. I had one one time and they give you this weird like after image effect. When you move... Yeah, there's no blood anywhere but your dick. Probably. That's why. Are you serious?

Are you serious? Yeah, one time in 2012 I was, uh, this day in this tiny little black chick and I was like, I'm gonna fucking kill her. And I was like, and I think it's up and it's, uh... How many did you take? It's just one. It was just one pill. One entire...

It was one suppository. Oh. Suppository by accident is insane. It was just one gas station rhino pill. It's too distracting to... I don't think it works. It probably works if you're used to the side effects. Because it was so distracting that it did not help me perform.

Like, I was kind of scared. I feel like you take them before the podcast. And then see... You turn it to the green goblin version. of yourself, your Dr. Jekyll, fucking Mr. Hyde version, where you're just like, I don't want to take, like,

I'll take like to Dala Phil or whatever, like the actual, like, I'll take the ingredients of whatever Viagra Seales or whatever that shit is, but I don't want to do gas stations up anymore because I feel like it's just too dangerous. It doesn't make you horny, right? It just makes your dick hard.

It just, well, it, uh, I don't, I just know, yeah, it makes you your dick hard. And that gas station shit did not make me feel like I was harder than before. Because also, right,

you'll lose. your erection if you're way too distracted right so i feel like i was too distracted by side effects well yeah me i've had erections at gunpoint it's fucking insane he needs to be distracted i told you i had a gun uh what wasn't it wasn't like pointed at me but like the this drew carry like lesbian like was fucking i told you did i say that on the podcast i don't remember true care yeah it was so i know exactly i know exactly it so yeah it was it was i was in a i was in arizona the some bitch in college just long story short I don't know why her, I don't know if it was because I'm a black man or if she just had an insane mom.

I'm not sure which one it was. But I was confused and like, bitch, you're in college. You should be able to do whatever you want. You know, like I picked up if she was in ASU. And so we were just hanging out. And then her mom pulls up and fucking Drew Carey looking ass with the gun, the fucking huge gun too. And she's like, we're like a desert eagle? It was.

Fucking Deagle. It wasn't that big. It wasn't that big. But it was like a 45 that clearly would still blow my head off. And I was just like, what is how? I'm like, why? I didn't understand, because I didn't do anything. It wasn't like say, oh, I'm fucking, uh, some creep.

I'm a prowler. I'm fucking hanging out by a high school or some shit. And like I deserve to be shot. And I was like, I'm literally like, wouldn't you? Like, if it was a scenario like that, like kill this nigga. But like, nothing happened clearly. I'm here. But I was like, why did a fucking this?

Why did you carry threatened me? Like, what was this crazy? That really pissed me off. And then of course of that, the chick's like, oh, I'm sorry. And I was like, yeah, I don't. Like, what do you mean? Like, we're done. I'm not talking to you again.

The fuck, you're fucking, you never. I did learn a thing. They had a, you ever heard of this website called, it doesn't exist anymore. It's called Is Anyone Up? And Is Anyone Up was like, there's some guy named Hunter's Moore or something like that that posted revenge porn. It was exclusively on this website, but it was usually in the alternative scene. So people that were into like metal bands. Oh, here's this guy's news or this girlfriend's news.

It was a bunch of people just being dickheads and posting all their revenge porn. And eventually an anti-bullying website. bought it and shut it down. But I learned about it through her because it was like there's this thing and then they had a, it was based off it was called like the... They bought it? They bought it to shut it down.

An anti-bullying company basically gave them their lunch money. Yeah, yeah. But they thought it was for the greater good, right? To shut it down so no more revenge porn can be. And that guy was fucked off. I've never heard of them again, but it was based off a thing called the dirt or the dirty

that existed in ASU. And it was weird. She was giving me all. this lore and then I started seeing it blow up. But yeah, fuck that bitch, dude. And your stupid fucking mom. Yeah. There's a, you know, one wrong move.

Who knows that motherfucker would have to like, shot the fuck out of me? She might be in jail now. She might be a snart take listener in jail. Can you imagine? She's fucking, she's seething around. Oh, how dare him? How dare? I was such a big fan.

I was a $25 fucking patron. That is insane. Saludations. This is Count Orlock. And I am not here to sell you a product. But to tell you, he who is listening, you are gay. That is all. You see that British only fans, sex work or whatever,

she wanted to bang like 100 dudes Which is not it's actually Same day Yeah it's like it's actually That's not really that impressive In the porn world I guess Because there's like huge Almost a thousand

As far as like the records go or some shit But she wanted to do 100 She was being interviewed by this dude And he was asking He was asking basic questions like Oh so have you have you vetted everybody Well like the ones that we have vetted Are getting like top priority

Like they're going first He's like so wait you're you haven't vetted everyone So you're like whatever So you're not worried about like getting fucking HIV or anything. She's like, well, you know, they can only like bust in my mouth. I don't think you can get like HIV from. The things that she was saying, it was like,

I was like, oh my God, this bitch is going to get. Oh, yeah, she said like, you can't get HIV. Like through like someone like busting their mouth. She was saying things that all, like the guy was genuinely concerned. And of course, it didn't go well. Like people were going too long when they were banging her. Security was a little iffy. No way.

One of the guys there and I don't know how got traumatized. And I was like, what the fuck happened? He saw too much dick He just saw too much dick And he was like, I can't do it He was like, no And the 100th guy was like Go, just go! Just go!

There's this coming. I waited too long Lash up, hurry the fuck up. He's doing it for him. He grabs his butt Fucking just Dude, that's his Hurry up. Oh, great heavens!

Oh, good, goodness me. There's a cumming. Splashing all over him. He's just being whisked around the, he's like Michael Fastbender in the Assassin's Creed movie. Oh my God. Where the animus was like

fucking throwing him around the room. That's insane. Used him as a cum rag. I can't believe that was a real movie by the way. Oh yeah. I forgot it came out. I appreciated like I was looking at some of the behind the scene stunts they were doing. I was like that's pretty cool,

but this is not going to do well. It's just one of those things. Yeah, it's a waste of time. Yeah. I was like, oh, we're really trying to like capture the eagle like doing like the eagle dive and shit. I was like, really trying to fast bender. You're wasting a lot of money. You know, it sucks.

I feel bad for you guys. A corporation wrote that shit off, bro. You know damn mom. Yeah, I guess so. You know? You're like, how'd that get a movie before, like, Mario? There's.

Oh, Assassin's Creed? I don't know. That's, that's baffling to me. Well, technically it didn't, because there was that Mario movie in the 80s. Oh, the 90s, yeah. Which was it dead 90s. He was 90s. It was like 90s, I think.

All right. John Ligizamo and. Got one before Sonic. That's true. That's kind of crazy. And Blood Rain got one before that. Yeah, what the heart rain? That's fucking crazy.

Yeah, Blood Rain. The Ova Bowl. Was it Ova Bowl? Did Blood Rain? probably. Yeah, yeah. There was a Blood Rain movie? Yeah, there was like three of them.

Dude, Blood Rain was really popular for, I don't understand why. What the fuck? Because even on, as a game, I didn't know many people that were, like, really stoked on it. Yeah, I don't, I don't even think I ever played it. Maybe it got three games in one movie.

It might be fucking. Yeah, it was crazy. I know it got two games for sure. I remember when Blood Rain 2 came out. But yeah, I, it's weird the games that get movies and, like, the movies that don't get games. Like, I remember, like,

because we used to get a lot of a lot of like movie based tie-in stuff. It was actually like some of it was pretty, I remember it's been Orgy's Wolverine was pretty good. I'll always, I remember it being. It's like God of War rip-off. That game was fun for that. It was like God of War and like Arkham Asylum

mixed together. Like where it was just like a lot of counter stuff. Yeah, you're right. That fucking pounce though was so cool. You would lunge, fucking lunge like 30 feet. And just tear people apart. And it was why it was so fun was because it was the first time as a avid Wolverine fan was the first time

ever felt like Wolverine playing a game because it was always like nerfed. Yeah, because he would literally slice people, but you never get to. Right. It's like watching the animated of the 90s, he would always be like, I'm gonna get you. And then something would happen before you'd be able to do anything. Or it'll like slice a fucking fire hydrant,

Apple shoot off. Yeah, it was always that bullshit. I'm like, what a fucking waste of a character. Yeah, because you can't open people up. And it's like, the only time he ever got close when he first encountered a night crawler. And he was trying to tear him. him apart but night crawler is obviously elusive so it was cool at least seeing him trying to kill him but he couldn't so i was like at least give me this one in a new series they let him

and the new finally it's for adults now he's like the fuck a lot of people and fucking uh who he got he got exploded by a magneto i think yeah it was crazy he did the fatal attraction thing and he pulled the skeleton out that was that's so great i can't wait for the new season i can't i don't know if it's good man okay the show i like it a lot the showrunner is not the same guy anymore he's gone. Oh yeah, didn't he get like canceled or something? He did some fuckery.

Wait, he fucked an actual Wolverine. On camera. I don't know. He put the suit on it too. He put the wearing costume on the Wolverine. Sick fantasy. Berserker Barrage's ass.

I think that's one of those animals that's like disproportionately strong too. Oh yeah. So it is smaller than a person, but he probably had like a really fucking hard time. I did not He was expected It's all about the fight for him

Yeah yeah Yeah he doesn't want to fuck it He just wants to know he could He wants to He wants to he wants to He wants to earn it Yeah It's like it's like dark souls

Yeah Would you play like We have movie based games And like things like that Would you play like a person based game Would you play like a person based game? A simulator Like a Helen Keller video game

Would you play a Helen Keller video game? No If there was yeah Steam like I'd put it on a much simulator game I'd put you on Musk video game. It's like Gary's my but you Elon Musk.

What is that? What is that? What is he do? Like what do you do? What do you do? You just be a game about being autistic. I think that Helen Keller would be kind of fun. You're just in the seat of someone that's very autistic and you gotta exist as them. Yeah. So it's just an autism simulator. But then there's like mildly fantastic moments that kind of like break them on the end of you. Like what the fuck does it? It's just an autism simulator. How the fuck would you know you were playing a Helen Keller game? Yeah. That's the magic. It doesn't start off dark. It gets darker progressively. Yeah, yeah. Wait, I thought she was born, Helmellie.

How blind was she? She wasn't born blind. She wasn't forged. She was forged into Helen Keller. Yes. The process of delimination should became a Helen Keller. She was whittled into the contemporary Helen Keller. Right, right.

So you get to see like her origin story like where she gets the suit. Yeah, and then it becomes one of those experimental like Hellblade kind of games. Where like the screen goes dimmer and more blurry and then like you kind of have to use your, you have to, you have to, you have to, it says you have to play this with headphones. Oh my God. I tell you I turn myself in the kind of like a Helen Kellynne-Cleather. Oh yeah, Helen, yeah, you're a Helen Keller skepticist. Well, because, okay, my girlfriend said, do you know that people like don't believe in Helen Keller? And as a bit, I started, I started doing it, right?

I started like denying it. Right, right. And then, like, someone in the room very genuinely asked, like, what did Helen Keller actually, like, do? So I looked it up. And what Helen Keller actually did is she wrote nine books, conveniently about the lady that was like her handler. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

That's like all she wrote about was this woman. She wrote a little bit about herself, her first to her about herself. And then the rest of them are just about how great this handler. It's all about how great my nanny is. Yeah, exactly. Like, oh, my nanny's so great. You know my nanny who's friends with like Forrest Whitaker? And I go all these, like, fantastical stories about her nanny and how great she is.

Yeah, exactly. It's awfully convenient. Yeah, yeah. I'm kind of with you. Like, the more I hear about it, like, when I heard that she, when you told me that people were like, oh yeah, she flew a plane. No. Yeah, no, there's no fucking way.

When I found out she wasn't, right? Maybe she wasn't, right? Maybe she, maybe they told her, like, flip this switch and off you go, right? Right. But if that's where your bar for flying a plane is, then, like, how much of the other thing did she actually?

Yeah, like, I've flown a plane by that lot. Like, I've, do you remember when they used to do the fucking, uh, they used to bring kids in and like, they used to get like the wings? Yeah, yeah. The pilot wings or whatever. You should bring kids in the cockpit. This is obviously before, fucking Bin Laden did that crazy. he had his crash out

shut the fuck they used to let kids in the in the cockpit and then they would give you like a little pilot wings I've essentially like flown the plane that Helen Kellogg had never done that I've never got a chance to do that unfortunately well they're not going to let you in

yeah of course I don't yeah why would they I'd crash the plane yeah yeah tails tail dive some kids some five year old kid in the aisle seat is talking about how roads grow out of the ground And he's like, we should not let him into the cockpit. I feel like that's not that crazy. Compared to the shit that other kids have seen or said, it's not that bad.

Whatever. Thick God wrote in. Thick God. Thick God. He wrote in. He says, what's up? Fucknecks. I like fucknecks.

Fucknex Incorporated. What are the best DLCs of all time in your opinion? Objective or subjective? Well, there's no objective. It's an interesting question. He says, witcher blood and wine, undid nightmare, and the oblivioned horse armor. De oblivion. Horace Armour.

It's funny. They charged like $20. Wasn't that like the first fucking like actual DLC as far as like it? It was like the first micro transaction. That's that's it. Yeah. Yeah. It was similarly egregious, right?

Yeah. And now that's normal. And now 50 cents is cheap for that. Right. Was it only 50 cents? Yeah, it was 50 cents. Now it would be like fucking $10. Dude, people threw a flip over that and people are spending like $20 on skin.

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. No, but shivering aisles, unironically. Shivering is. Oblivion.

Theivering Isles was fucking sick as hell. I never played oblivion. Oh, you're not. Dude, you should play it on stream. That game is janky as fuck. Yeah, I get some weird-ass clips. The reason I haven't finished it. Don't mod it.

Just fucking, fucking glitch. Raw-dog it? Yeah, yeah, raw-dog it. That's the reason I haven't finished it. So I didn't mod it. And then I was just trying to get through it and it kept crashing. Like, it was weird stuff. What's happening was having fun.

But this was a long time ago. So I should go back to it. They run really fucking. Like, I was trying to play Fallen New Vegas on PC. And it was just like, this is not working. Straight up. I don't know what the fuck is going on. I broke that game somehow.

Like, uh, Not somehow. It just, well, yeah. Well, it was just one of the things were, it was born broken.

It was an, it was an important, it was an important mission that I, like Ellen Keller, apparently. She wasn't, she was born broken. I thought she was blind, deaf and dumb,

my whole life. But she was actually blind deaf and smart. Yeah, she was blind deaf and smart. Yeah. Uh, apparently. And then she learned, like,

she learned codex. She knew how to write in Phoenician. She flew planes. She discovered a mummy. And she ripped it apart Like a fucking cat If she gets the mummy's curse Would she see?

Would it make her able to see If she gets the mommy's curse She'll be able to see Why would have cursed Give you anything positive? She always said something debuts Or would it be such a curse For her to see

Because she's so used to like Not seeing that seeing Would she be a light of her She's got a weird shape nose that she's never seen before And then Oh that'd be hell Yeah she sees it

She sees for like 10 minutes Just long enough to be insecure about it She's had nightmares About some demon in her memories, but it's always been vague and then she finds out that the demon

looks exactly like her real face. Or it's the caretaker is the demon she's been dreaming about, yeah. She has this vivid memory of someone pouring bleach into her eyes and then she sees,

who's you? It was it. It was you. And then the curse wears off and, you know? That would be crazy. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh my God. I mean, I'd rather believe that. Like, I've seen, like, biographics on her. When do you think they're going to add Helen Keller to Fortnite, you think? Soon. That would be a coded D.L.C.

They did the Martin Luther King Day. Oh, yeah. Did they do it again recently? I don't, I think they're never better. They're never bringing it at best. No, they're working on Anne Frank right now. Yeah, Anne Frank Celebration Day. Her and then a boy with a striped pajamas.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I thought that was going to be a hero than a purple brai off. Shindler's List fucking pack. So I'm be sick. Would you buy a Liam Neeson on In Shinders' List? He was cool.

On Fortnite? He was cool. I think they're going to get to that point at some point, right? Like, they're going to run out of like fiction. I mean, Paul Atreides is in Fortnite. So yeah, probably. Paul Atreides is in Fortnite. Well, that's from Dune.

Dune is a really fucked, fucked. They got real people. They got, they got fucking, they put Mariah Carey in there. Did they? Yeah. Yeah, literally. M&M. Like a, which is funny in retrospect.

You could play them? Yeah, yeah. You could play with Mariah Carey. like the all I want for Christmas is you ass Mariah Carey. Oh, I did. Okay. You can play as Christmas Mariah Carey. Because I was like, why is she relevant? Okay. Yeah. She's always relevant every 12 months.

Yeah. Yeah. Good for her, I guess. Yeah, smart. It's unironically a very smart idea to write a Christmas song. I hate every fucking, like, depending on Spotify, I think, I think at this point, like, she just won and you, you're just, like, I think everybody has some agent that goes out. You've got to do a Christmas song. Every Christmas, you can bring it back. And then you get these, like, you get these, like, you get these, like, you get these, songs where it's like yeah yeah yeah it's christmas time it's like that's net you're gonna never hear that again

can I tell you something I bet those songs that do suck and that we never hear make a ton of money no here's the thing if you Michael Boobla's raking in money go to people spotifies that do Christmas albums they're on their top charts all the time like that's because Macy's just puts it on there and lets it fucking

it's something like that it counts fucking bad religion is one of my favorite bands they made it we should we should it'll now in fucking February I actually, which one though? What do you mean? Just write our own.

We'll steal one, but then let's get right around. Yeah, steal it, make it gay, and then... That's not smart. It has to be a cover. Because that's all just covers. We can make a Christmas song, like an actual real Christmas song. Yeah. That's fucking guy.

That's cool, sure. How about we all do? You can dance in the video. I just learned how to, because I can create... If you clap on Spotify or all that thing, you're supposed to... If you wanted to appear on each person's artist account, I just learned how to... to do that. Because I was confused. I was like how... He used Distro Kid, right? So yeah, I used Distro Kid

because it's fucking, it's fucking whatever. There's probably maybe better ones, but this one works for me. I mean, I used Toon Corp for a while, but it's fucking stupid. Tune Core. Tudor Kren into shit too a while ago. I don't know if it got sorted out. It's all of these or someone has had a bad experience with fucking every service ever, so yeah. The one that Jonathan Young recommended to me if you do covers was pretty good. Sounddrop was, it would work for me. I put a couple of covers on there. It seemed work fun. Oh, really?

So they're on Spotify and they're fine? Yeah. The, specifically covers, though, I don't know about, like, other stuff. I got to do that because I did the brain stew one and it keeps getting, oh, it keeps getting flagged because they think it's the real recording. That's crazy. There's got to be a wait-see. One thing I can say, this was years ago, Spotify, if, well, I guess it's through the, it wouldn't work. Never mind.

Because I was saying, whenever I had a problem with, if Spotify can help me get something distributed or if there was an issue, their customer service was fucking better than anything. No way. It was true now. Yeah, probably not. probably true like a while back but like no way now I was nothing and then whenever I would reach out to them they would get back to me the next day no matter what

even when I chose a new artist name and then I learned that the SEO was fucking terrible so I asked them to change it back and they changed it back it was like it was just like but yeah that was years ago so that's just crazy I'm we gotta do guitar shit at some point yeah man I we can't start talking about this or it'll turn

into like a whole info dog thing but like yeah yeah yeah man I'm um I'm fucking they know like they always hang out and go they they they have this group chat of all those people and everybody you're probably in it i don't know i don't know he's not oh he's not this is how i find out he's not i was gonna tell him personally but thank i was waiting for you to tell him that i didn't make well i there's always stuff happening i'm never there it's so i just i'm so i'm so as soon as i get home i have no the real world is gone i don't know what's happening. So I'm really, I need to fix that. It's comfortable to just be in your, the place you live.

Yeah. It's good, but it's also really bad because- I can't do it. I can't be at home so long. I start going crazy. That's because you're living with somebody. That's why. Yeah, that is true. But also I just like being outside of my house. I don't know. Like, my house is boring. Even though I've, I've curated it to be a place that I should enjoy being all the time. I just get bored eventually. Well, we got, we got to say, we got to actually before we part today, just, uh, Just like, oh, today, let's do it This day or whatever. What do you call that a date?

A plan? A plan. My fucking brain. What do you call that? That wasn't even a bit. Derek discovers the concept of planning it. That's awesome. Yeah, yeah.

This whole time I've been ruminating on this DLC question. I don't have an answer because I'm realizing now that I just don't really like DLC. You've got to have one that you're like, that was fucking dope. I think about ones that were better than I anticipated the big. Like what? I mean, blood and wine is probably the best one, like ever. For you? I never played it for me. Really, did you play blood and wine?

Yeah, it was, it was. It's amazing. It's, look, man, I, I don't know why Witcher 3 didn't, I like Witcher 3. I like it. I have no problems with it. It just didn't hit me as hard as I thought it would. I'm not sure why. I'm kind of with you. Like, I like it a lot, but like it didn't. I don't have a good answer for why.

I think that game is too fucking long. I've played it once and I loved it. And then I've tried to play it like two more times and, both times I kind of like fall off like granted I can't finish it I agree I can't finish it again yeah you get so because like you get to the point where you're like oh this is the end of this is the end and then there's like and then there's like 30 hours left and you're like well I guess I remember that vividly I remember that vividly because everything's like oh this is it this is the crescendo we're we're done oh no no yeah that's kind of a frustrating feeling

for me when I feel like a game is ending and then it doesn't like that I don't know if I like that like games that are too long and that's when you find when you fight the wild I can. And you think like it's like, spoiler alert, this game is fucking over. Spoiler. I know.

I don't care. When you fight the wild hunt, I don't care. You're like, oh, it's over. And then there's literally like one third of the game left. You're like,

oh, sick. What, the thing that makes me go like, uh, is when they're like, oh yeah, you've got to visit like five zones.

And then the first one's really long. And I'm just like, the whole scale of the part. Even if the game was that and it just didn't tell me, Yeah. Just knowing, like, there's exactly five more of these, and this is exactly how long it takes. I don't know why that always bothers me, but it does. I see.

I kind of know what you mean. The Skelliga part is fucking obnoxious, dude. The northern part where you have to go and fucking find random artifacts and fight a demon that looks like smoke. I was like, what is this? I got to get a round of finishing. It's really good. Oh, you never did. I played, like, I started that game, no joke, like five times.

Like, oh, like from the beginning. I was like, I know there's something here and I know I like it, but I don't like it enough. It was boring at first. And they got really good. Make everyone naked. And like I had, I have, I have, I have, I have, Geryl, like, he's just, um, bottom naked,

like, just the bottom with a boner. He's just running around and, like, it makes it more interesting. I actually do think, yeah, you should give him a boner. And, um, but also, that's a game that's like way better if you play it on a harder difficulty because it can turn into just sludge after a bit because, like, it gets way too easy if you play it on the default. but like if you actually have to like plan out the shit like when I was first playing the game on normal and it's kind of just like shit's over leveled for you right I was like really fucking with it and then

it was like oh so like last time I played it I bumped up the difficulty and I was like oh this is way better yeah I don't know I got to check it out I uh I've been working through like a backlog right now yeah I own so many games I paid money for it phantom liberty another good DLC really good oh Phantom Liberty was good I haven't gotten to it yeah I haven't gotten to it either actually It is really cool. Phantom Liberty was good. I was super late on playing it in the regular game. I love Cyberpunk.

That game is really good now. Yeah. It's actually like that game. I liked it at launch. I like the characters. I thought it was okay at launch, but it kind of like ruined it now for me because it's, you know. It's way better now.

Yeah, yeah. For sure. I see. But I also didn't have, I wasn't playing out PS4. So like the PS4 version was hilarious. Yeah. But, uh,

yeah, I lost it. My game file just disappeared. I was like, oh, sick. Jesus. That's fine. Is,

is, Is Phantom Liberty your answer? Is that or Blood and Wine? I'm trying to give another one. Phantom Liberty is probably the one that I would say. Of the ones that I've played. It's pretty good. I also thought like...

The dragon, I'm freaking, what you call? The, the twin dragon, shadow dragon, wherever it's called the Far Cry. Oh, Far Cry, Blood Dragon. Oh, Blood Dragon. Twin Dragon. Blood Dragon was cool. I appreciate standalone DLC specifically.

Yeah, that was funny. But that I almost feel like a whole game. That's like another game to me. Yeah. Which I like, I appreciate it. I actually prefer those to like... It would, because that's something like, say, for example, could have won game of the year for me, technically, you know what I mean?

Technically. Like, I wouldn't be, I wouldn't be upset. No offense to P. and Fardo Da Vinci or whoever the fuck asked that, but like, it's this worth ruminating on for this long? I guess not. I don't know, whatever. Yeah, we fucking just... We'll see. What time is it?

Oh, we got 10 minutes. We'll do one more and then we'll wrap it up. Let's see. There's so many of these are just waste of fucking time. Look, read this. Yeah, I like, I like the waste ones. Which one? The top one? Gears Warrior.

Read this. Oh, Gears Warrior. So, Gears Cross Warrior. Nudes, my niggas? That's all he wrote. You paid money for that. Look. Okay.

You're welcome. When I get in shape, I'm going to hit up my only fans. It's going to be called Only Thighs. Oh, you're going to do tie pictures? Yeah. And with, like, bicycle shorts, and you can see male camel tone and stuff. Damn. But I need to get in shape.

I'm gonna try to get as hard as I possibly can and I'm gonna send him a picture of my extremely hard penis I'm the first time I ever met you I saw your balls Wait is that real? Yeah yeah Wait why don't I wear like shorts with like a hole in them

You're like ah then my fucking balls are out Oh shit That tracks Yeah yeah I vaguely remember this I've retired those pants but I still have them That's fair Yeah no keep them around for the only fit my thighs

You got good wrinklage down there Destroy my Excellent stuff Good wrinklies I'd recommend them to a friend Yeah I've done that a few times An accident That is fucking

My thighs ruined the crotch Like it stretches the The seams out right there And then it fucking starts Loosing it up And so now I just wear Like a lot of stretchy stuff Oh yeah dude

Oh here's a good one to end on Spike the Lizard rodin And he says Hello Puerto Rican Black and combo of both Okay nice Hi I also a lot

Yeast one too technically Yeah yeah We're commueling You're alone You're alone First time We're not I'm here black

First time question asker First time question ask you here But I've been free loading For the past six years You're welcome Bitch The fuck Chill

The fuck That's frame one We should meet him And beat him up in an alley I'm down He says God comes down from the heavens And decides to delete

The United States But let's just You guys know beforehand Where do you guys moved to and how do you explain the sudden decision to lead? Well, I think you wouldn't have to explain. Can we tell anybody? I assume the premise because we're expected to explain

is that the U.S. is gone and so is everybody's memory of it. Right? Because if it was just gone and everybody understood that it was gone, there would be no reason to explain. Because you'd be like, oh, you're clearly here because the U.S. I thought we're explaining where we're moving to. We're explaining why we're moving. Like, we got to go now. Brother, the why would be, it's gone. I thought it's where.

I thought we're explaining the where, not the why. It's where and why. Oh, he said where and why? Yeah. Well, I guess he just means where. Well, he said, how do you explain the sudden decision to leave? Exactly. That's happening.

I think we're going to be like, what's happening all of a sudden. And be like he's, that's, yeah, I understand what you're saying. That is dumb as fuck. What I'm thinking, what I'm thinking is that like, hey, we got like,

God's like, you guys got like nine, 10 hours before everything goes blink. You know. That's really fucking short notice. I guess I'm going to Canada immediately. He's just going to the closest one. Yeah.

Then I'm going to see America go by. And then I'm like, all right, cool. Let's drive up now. Let's drive up to what was America. Yeah, I'm curious. Where's like the world's Boston? Where do I go for that? The world's Boston.

Yeah. World's Boston's probably Mexico. Yeah, I only like cities that are like dirtier than L.A. Yeah. So, right. That's no. I guess Toronto. I heard it's getting kind of weird over there.

Okay. Is it? I hear that. Toronto's such a lame fucking place. Yeah, I will. Big buildings, I guess. But I've been from New York, you know. I mean, Drake's over there.

It's because, you know. Crotty? You're going to make friends with Drake? Yeah, it just might at this point. You know, he's actually like not that bad. Yeah, you know. Like, if you knew like everything with the Kendrick thing, yeah, you'd be that guy. Yeah.

He's over exaggerating. He doesn't, he doesn't hang out with that many teenagers. You got, you're crazy. You guys are talking crazy. Not that many. There would be no reason to explain. In my view. I feel like it would just be like, it's gone.

The country I came from is gone. It's gone. Tokyo was sick, actually. Oh, yeah, that's right. You went to Tokyo. Oh, dude, that was so cool. That's like too much of a real answer. I've been trying to think of like a dumb joke one.

I just like, I just like, I just want to go back. Real answers are valid. I would love to, I have been trying to go to Japan for a long time. I think we forced ourselves by having a show in Japan. What? We force, you know, because it's the same thing. Do a fucking snark take travel vlog, write it on. In all nine people.

In bezel. Invesimal. There's a bunch of weirdos that'll show up just because they got like cash. And then there's probably, we have three fans that will just say, hey, there's these idiots that are going to talk here. Would you just come fill some seats? And they're very polite, so they'll do it. I do like a little live show in Japan for like an audience that doesn't know us. I like that's really cool.

Like I appreciate that they respect our culture and all the stuff or allegedly. I don't know what we'll actually do. Also, was there a coordinated thing with the rock tie and the Zoha? energy. No, not at all, but that's crazy. Yeah, yeah. I just found at a, 2012, I found this at a, what do you call it? It was Goodwill? And I was like, great. And

this actually just happens to taste really good. Does it? Yeah, the tropical punch one only, though. All the other flavors are like kind of piss. But this one is actually good. Yeah. It tastes terrible until they pay us until they pay. Yeah, right. So this is really, yeah, let me turn this around. It's actually just

swill. Yeah. If you really, like, look at it under a microscope. If the rock gives me money, What is swill exactly? Just like dirty garbage water? Yeah, I don't know what the actual word is. Is it like a pig thing? I think it sounds like a pig-oriented. Swine.

Oh, swine. I like swine. Or slop. Yeah. Slop. It sounds like a slop type. Slop. I envision it as like not like swill is like olive oil texture almost, but like dirty water.

Yeah, like gutter water. Yeah, like gutter water. Like oily. A cup of gutter water, man. Would you take a swig? No. You don't let me finish. How much?

Eight bucks? No. Well. How much would it take for you to drink a one teacup of cum? Teacot? A teacup? One teacup of cum. I legitimately couldn't do it.

That's the problem. So like even if he gave me like a million dollars, I don't, I don't think I could literally swallow it. So if it's the attempt. Wait, what is this like a fucking like, I was cursed when I was born? Look, if it's an attempt Is it diseased? No, is it come? If it's, if it's raw come.

If I get the money for attempting it, I'll do it for like a million dollars. Like, I mean, You get the money for like not completing the task. I probably do it for less actually. Because like at the end of the day, I'm like, at the end of the day, like, look, if it's like life changing money, like if it's an attempt. Because like I won't. So would you, how much would you, could you suck a dick? Not to completion of a lot of.

That's different, I think. Well, see, to me, it's the same. Because that's inherently way more sexual. The same... But probably less calm. Yeah. It's probably... That is the tradeoff between the...

That's actually weight. So that was... That was... So it's sheerly just the cum. It's not the sexual nature of it. Wait. The cum that bothers you, right? Well, the...

Well, yeah, cum kind of grosses me out first of first of almost. I'm not grossed out by a fucking dick, brother. That's it. That's what we gotta end it there. That's a perfect... It's the cum that bothers you. Facts.

It's fucking ridiculous. Big facts. We're gonna... There'll be a cut now. And we're going to cut and then we're going to read our names in three, two. What's up, guys? It's your friendly neighborhood negroid. So we didn't get to do the credits with Lyle. And also when we were going to make it up, Chris's apartment had some outlet issues.

And the electrician came way too late. So it's at the point where I just got to do it myself, read the names. and then, you know, whatever. So apologize about that, but yeah, I'm just going to get through the list, and then I'm going to go, I don't know, beat off or something. All right, so, what we got?

These are the $25 up, people. So I appreciate you all if you want to join and get your name read and read something or put something really stupid. That would be nice. All right, so deleted evil Tom Sweeney says, I love the gays, but they're not human. J.R. Steak eater.

Ha, ha, nice. Yelon Wesk. I am going to kill the president with a mortar. Megarmorff. Emma throwing big bucks. Appreciate it, Emma. Build Gundam model kits. I thought about that, actually.

The people that I used to live with in Vegas, one of them was really trying to get me invested. but I kind of like, I kind of fell off of Gundams all the way back. I don't know, like my high school years, I kind of just, whatever. There's been so much stuff that's come out and I've just so, like, I just haven't caught up with any of it. My tart uncle used to molest me. Oh, now that he has locked in syndrome, IOD on rhino pills and take my revenge every day. That's insane.

The goon-glob-gaggaggolab is gay as hell. The goon-glob-gab-gab is gay as hell. And then he changes his avatar to the globgo. Stupid. Binging on babies for breakfast, both baked and battered, but best-blended. A lobster with human tits and penis, large in parentheses. Cub making Sween's child an albino. The Yakub, I guess.

Look up Yes King SpongeBob on YouTube and play the first short result. I guess we'll have to do that next time we're in the studio. Berser Broly Gap. Gap shotting. Gap shot in Sweeney. Oh, Gap shot. Okay. Gotcha.

Snark Tank Live in Japan featuring Johnny Somali. Man, I really want to do some. type of, I want to do some like outlandish live show. We've talked about Australia and then we've talked about Japan now. And I would really like the idea of the prospect of somebody who is a venue owner or a promoter in one of those respective countries to, to email us at snarktank team at gmail.com so we can actually set up something insane, something that we, you know, we should probably have a show in the LA area first. But fuck it.

I want to go all out. Uh, man. I hope you guys don't hear the banging. There's people on our roofs doing roof stuff. I guess it sounds like they're just running like assholes, but I don't know. See, Snark team. Okay, all right there. Hey, baby.

Are you Ben Shapiro because I want to fuck your sister? Nice. I'm awesome tistic. Put donuts on my cock and my goo shooter, the truth. You can't handle it. the purple warrior. I bite children, calling retards the inhibited. Nice.

Domination. Vaughn of the dread. Special needs goblinoid. Derek is innocent. Hashtag free him. Round-eyed mega de Asian. In desperate need of yellow representation on this podcast, bully Justin Wang or Michael Reeves into coming on.

If Justin will definitely do it if he's in town But I don't know when's the last time he's actually been in the LA area I know he's you you'd usually come to record New music but I'll send him a message and say hey like come stop by What next time you're in town I have a feeling that but yeah yeah we got some Asians on actually completely agree with that I have a feeling that white men are worse than white women I mean I guess it's I think that's objectively true

Peewey Herman yelling Sioner Nyeye nigger. That's actually Sine R, nigga. Yeah, that actually, that works. I can hear it. Big boobies, titanic tities, jumbo jugs, calcium cannons, straight up massive milkers.

Amen. Hassan looks like someone took a duplo figure and put a Lego head on it. Yeah, that works. Lee Harvey Lion, lying in weight. That's what's up, dude. I was just thinking about leave Harvey lying today

for, I don't remember why. but yeah, suing my ex-boyfriend for custody of our friends. My dick is hard. My balls are numb. Sippin in my ass and fill with you. Getting murdered by the entire United States military because some dog used to work at the White House. Kurt Cobain, POV. Have you watched Sound of Fury on Netflix?

No. Death. Just death. Jack, the world's fastest mayor. Nocturn has some of the worst designs I've ever seen. I don't know. I think it looks whatever. Like I said, Al-A-Car looks weird to me, obviously, but whatever.

Mr. Faptastic and, me, I need to watch it again, too, maybe. Mr. Faptastic and the Fantastic Foresome. Nice. Gay I am. Cock me like a gay sex man. Gay I am. Cock me like, that doesn't even fit. Cock me like a gay sex man.

Chris Gaycombe, Big Meaty Steaks. gooner kill by men who twerk. Andy, the man whose handies are now back to S-tier and forever dandy. Sex gifts. Getting injected with 10 cc's of bleach because it was Nurse Kingston who read my chart. Nice. I live in Texas. Ain't going to Vegas to eat roadhouse.

Absolute horse piss in a chilled glass. Sounds delicious. The endgame currency in college duties called CP. Gids, Derek looks like Franklin the Turtle. Holy fuck, I haven't heard. I have forgot about Franklin. I completely forgot about, I haven't heard about Franklin in a minute.

Chris is built like a fourth grader. Facts. I'm best at what I do and what I do is very gay. Black Squidward more like N-word. Yeah, classic. Guptuice. Wow. Vaggots and Gaza featuring

Yadolph Hitler, God damn. Kevin Durant's feet. Dr. Manlove or how I learned to stop worrying and love the cock. Fuck you, I ain't paying my TV license bitch. Mr. Pants. I'm waiting for Elon and Trump to be blood-eagled. That shit would make my fallace bust all over the place. Fuckface Unstoppable.

When you read the Patreon name, How are they ordered by oldest member, money donated, or most gayest cardboard underscore pie? I think it's by, I think it's by most or least lesbian. I think that's the actual box that you check. So I actually have no idea what the criteria is for the order. I'm assuming newest, newest, I'm assuming it's newest to oldest.

That's just the only thing I can think of. Where was I? Spun, befudders, Jali O'Dipshed, the Ace of Parades, definitive top five black people. One, LeBron, two, Keith David, three future, four Tim Duncan, five Sweeney.

Well, this is very, he's very biased towards the NBA. And not even like, you'd put in, I mean, Tim Duncan is kind of just doesn't do anything, right? Like great basketball player, but like off court, that motherfucker, I literally don't see him ever or say anything. And having Sweeney with all of them is great. That's hilarious. Hungy for Kumiwami's.

Feed me Chrisipu. Wow, wow. This is niggah. I guess it's out of Sparta. head on down to snarktank.shop to pick up our new scumbag cum rags the best way to wipe that wipe up that gross shit yeah the crimson cuck pee-pip top they come run instead of zizi top they come running just as fast as they can because every guy's crazy bought a sharp dick man and stupid but there's something there

Suck and cock. I don't know. Sin in a gatorade bottle. Oh, shitting. Sorry. Excuse me. Shitting in a gatorade bottle. Still sin. What'st thou be gay to fornicate with a Republican male for they are not mow than giant pussies? Yeah, I said on, in spirit, it's not gay. But, you know, on paper, it's still gay, you know.

Auxiliary enjoyers. Smitchie the kid. Vivek didn't say anything when I told. I wouldn't vote. Uh, okay. She pipkin on my pipa, Ichibon Kuska,

uh, post clarity nut. That's, um, that shit's dangerous, man. Because like, it's just,

you go from being a complete fucking villain. Like, you go from being like the, like a demon, just forgetting about everything. And then like, afterwards, you're like,

what? It's like, it's literally doctor, I'm, I'm assuming that Dr. Jekyll and Ed, Mr. Hyde is a allegory for just, you know, mid-goon and then post-nut clarity. Let's see.

Scrotor the Balbarian, he hunts cock. Star Coffee deporting might come to the unconscious ice agent's face. Yush, if we go to New York, maybe we'll find a way to beat him. Jerich suggested, no, Chris said, oh, I see. This is the thing. I guess Chris will have to read this again, but I'll do it too. Let me get a clear one, though. If we go to New York, maybe we'll find a way to be him, Derek suggested.

No, said Chris. Why not, Sweene asked. Craig the Canadian. I've been writing questions with proper grammic, oh, wow. Proper grammar and punctuation for years. Well, yeah, I guess the joke is you're not. It's your boy, Shawnee D, major minority, snart tank fans are now homeless and deported. Big facts.

Serberus Agent 267. Wouldn't it be funny if Trump considered naming Greenland as red, white, and blueland? That would be crazy, wouldn't it? I mean, no, it wouldn't be crazy at all, actually. It would be stupid and very believable. Did he party on Epstein Island catered by Jared Fogle and bartendered by Bill Cosby? That's so crazy. Every time I think about like, so you have the Epstein and Jared Fogel in the same sentence.

One of my, I have an account in my, in my Raid Shadow Legends clan name Epstein Fogel. And I always wonder what people think when they see all the all the usernames. And yeah, shout out to that one of our listeners that actually joined my clan recently. And yeah, we don't really do much with it. I'm not a competitor. I don't fucking do PVP or I don't really compete I don't give a shit especially in a gotcha game like I'm not retarded but good mechanics man

I swear by it raid shadow legends has fucking excellent turn-based mechanics and I know most people won't get to experience that because of all the negative shit surrounding it which is completely understandable because it's still fucked up like gotcha mechanics just suck man this is a slow burn shit if you want to enjoy this game like on the levels of like free to play like what I've been playing this game for fucking like five years now or something or longer almost and like my account's pretty great but I literally can't

compete with anyone if I wanted to like on the top people that I've been playing as long as me because I don't spend thousands of dollars on this fucking game it's insane I literally just saw somebody that was given away account that he he put a million dollars into that and I'm just like this fucking people are so insane like like Fuck. Anyway. Let me get back to where the fuck I was. Okay. Billy J. Armstrong, J. Zay, Taze Dunday, Danny and Grant McDonald having a conversation. Very cool. 3XO chugging a 2-liter Coke, swallowing three mentos-like pills and doing 10 jumping jacks. Nice. Punching Nazis through Swin's tooth gap.

Sweeney's improv class where the first course is called my second favorite N-word. Very nice. Slurping stroke and smoking joke. and we're getting through these guys. Motocon's going like this and is pointing in a certain direction. Drip M.H. Lord of all. Drip. Why, your name can't be, your name can't contain special characters. Shut the fuck up.

Patreon. Fuck you. Yeah, and that gay. Obi, won't you blow me? Waiting for the swine hunting tier. I want his pelt. Kremlin the Grimlin. Fucking squirrel girls.

What? Oh, and I forget. The ampers. Stupid fucking ampersand. It's showing the and and it's showing the amp fucking semicolon. Totally threw me off. Fucking Squirrel and leaving two condoms in her. Brain Griffin.

It says Brain Griffin. Not even Brian. That's a fucking. Brain Griffin's so much better, though. Brain Griffin's singing never going to give you up. Jarvis take me off Epstein's black book. Now presenting our special guest, Molesto the Clown. Hulk voice.

Hulk Gap Little Clawman Wolverine voice Ah shit bub Yeah That's exactly what would happen That was like in I think Old Man Logan

When he like fucking I think Hulk tore him to pieces I can't remember I haven't read that shit in so long God how long ago The Old Man Logan come out I don't even read comics anymore man It's just

It's not because I don't like him It's just I can't multitask while reading stuff So now I'm fucking a slave to audio books and audio shit So I can also do other things So like comics I'm like yeah whatever I can't fucking also play a video game while I'm reading Anyway

Wachley 583 Green Goblin voice The Shane of Swain's pain Is green from banging Marlene That wasn't a good one Sorry guys The Pippini Bros present Gordon Ramsey cleaning Asmund Gold's

Room ASMR. Good luck. Donk-Donkerson, the colon swinging slasher. My Villanark has begun. Some asshole in New York got my debit card number and spent hundreds on board. I will find him. Well, hopefully you have a good bank and they'll just refund you

no problem. Because I've had fraudulent charges and I've, luckily everything has been refunded with no fucking hassle. But it's also shitty since Elon Musk is getting rid of the consumer financial protection bureau, if you had a problem, you would be able to reach out to them when they would take care of it, but not anymore.

So get on that fucking asshole. P.B. Derek Wynn is the review of all your alphabetically played games coming. Man, I took a long pause. I don't even remember where I stopped. Oh, I stopped at M because I never beat Metal Gear 5. And so I started playing through it and I got distracted. I don't even, I'm really not even playing games right now. I've just been writing like a bunch of music.

So when I get to the bottom, because the thing is I might even abandon the thing because I've already kind of learned the lesson that I was trying to do that I'm buying way too many fucking games. Sure, they're like $5 or $2 or super great deal. So it just stacks up. But most of these games, I'm not interested. interested enough to finish them. And sure, I guess it's worth the money that I bought, you know.

But it's just one of those things that, like, I don't need to buy that much stuff. Because really, my thought process is, like, keep going back to, like, wanting to play Skyrim or Baldersgate 3. Or there's just certain older games that I just want to play. And I'm thinking that's totally fine. Like, why do I need to fucking buy everything I'm interested in? I should just really think about it. But yeah, we'll see what happens. Where are we at?

Hey, what the fuck? What happened to my thing? Oh, here it is. Okay. Chris I hear, golem maxing with found rings. Yeah. Come face. It's like clay face, but well, you know, maybe fishy.

Making my daily deposit in the cum drawer. Tom Swinney is a sweet and beautiful angel. Oh, well, hey, there you go. Some positive fucking affirmations for Sweeney for once. John Strickland. Merck's 1889. my left ball hangs lower left ball hangs lower

club president that's big facts first church of Keith David currently playing and enjoying condom king deliveries too so stupid that's so dumb should at least be kingdom come with CUM or something

but Condom King Deliveries too is kind of funny that's funny Jamar from afar. Hey fellas, I found the seven dragon balls. The pre-rise Blake 896. Who do you think you are, I am? The slob cock, the slob cock gab galab. Nice.

Do you think Brian Thompson's last word for a while? Got stuck in snow for two weeks. Was a big cold and stupid. Jared Fogle using Doc Brown's time. machine to molest himself as a job. I love that. Texas State of Salad. Shot young Sheldon says watch common side effects, stupid.

Cold de Sack your hair for the wedding. That's crazy. Oh man. Yeah, I got to read that shit again. And we're going to force Sweeney to cold a sack is cold a sack. Did I? I am insane. Cold a sack your hair for the wedding, Nikki Ziggie.

for some reason in my brain, nut sack was in there. So it was like cold a sack your nut sack. Which is not a bad idea either. 60 Shades of Gay. The quartering exploring his new sewer layer after being flushed down his piss drain. I love that.

Christopher colon bust. The wumpa fruits are laced with estrogen crash. Nice. Fuck ticket meister. Sorry, Miss Jackson. Brave Dog the Baby Hunter Ethereum needs help lowering his weapon in Halo 3

Orange Man Hunter Naifram, we only got a couple more men Malifis 1 and rounding out the list Here we go baby The King Of haphazard Yeah so okay somebody asked Let me see

What's the order of these So January Let me see What the fuck? Why doesn't it show on the first page. Oh, that's sick. That's really cool. That's really cool. Uh, because if you go on the last page, it has a whole, like, it shows everything in the columns like lifetime, pledge, join date and all this stuff. In the very last page, I'm assuming, because it's some people that I guess they

joined when we first launched the Patreon back in 2020. So it has to be that by oldest to news. But, yeah, appreciate you all for. for being a part of this, like, it's crazy. It's, uh, and the Patreon keeps growing. I mean, tell your, tell your people, man, especially, uh, we've got some pretty cool extra ammo on there that, uh, you know, it's exclusive to, uh, the $5 tier. So, but yeah, thank you guys. Like, seriously, this is fucking awesome.

And, hey, man, let us know. Let us know, um, what else we can do to improve the, the show. You know, we want to grow up more and then, uh, do live shows and, uh, also just, you know, just try to, uh, Make motherfuckers laugh when shit in this country is dumb as fuck. All right. Take care, guys.