The Snark Tank - #303: GAYNE

Episode Date: February 28, 2025

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Something's like to be. in the dark You start to scream But in it takes the noise before you make it I don't remember every word to that song But I know though I can like if I heard it I can probably sing all of it

I'm literally paralyzed He's moving pretty well for I've got the teaser Tiz of Night I really like Sonic and trains are pretty Out of sight Tizum To-o-hoo.

Tizam night. If you are your and there's my room. My center's overloaded because I'm tism. Stimbing. Steaming. Steaming. Steaming.

Tonight. Some guys like, like you play with their head. The fidget smitter has to stop spinning. He doesn't do it. His heart and his finger spitting. Welcome to Snark Tank podcast. That shit fucking.

God, that fucking intro. That fucking intro. That song is... That's gonna get my dick a little hard I really think that probably is Melodically the best song ever. Like it's just... Thriller.

It's... Your disrespect is one of the greatest songs ever, like quite... I'm sure maybe one of it. Like, that's the best song ever is insane. In a, like, in a list of like how many... Like a hundred. In a hundred?

I think it's top 20. High on danceability, 100%. Like, if we're talking about like a song that really makes you want to get up and just start fucking. And grooming. That's kind of the thing, too. It's like there's different metrics to judge him, right?

You know what I mean? Like a danceability ranking is way different than like a melodic ranking. Yeah. Yeah. A lyrical ranking. It's like very different. It's all sorts of different. I think, I think like he like on the top 100 songs, like if someone, if there was like

an external species that came and was like critical of like all music and was like quite actually best by best. I think out of like the top 100, he has probably like 20 of them. If like an alien species came down and judged. If they were like, this is the best for music, musical songs, like, period. I don't think so. I don't think, at that point, I don't think that's true. I think it is.

Being like that would have a list of like 100 people or 100 songs that we've never heard. You know what I mean? No, no, I think there'd be a lot of them that would ever heard. But I think the person that would show up most often on there would be him. I don't know, man. I think it would definitely be, because I really, I've never been a band. I'm alone on this, though.

I've never been a Michael Jackson person. Okay. Think of it like this, right? Think of it like this, right? I just never cared. When he did that lean, I was like, all right. You weren't even here yet. You were even here yet.

Right. You were like, all right. In an actual lane. He saw it. He fucking somehow pre-birth. Nah. That's kind of lame. And everybody's like, shut up.

I was born. I was born unimpressed with Michael Jackson. I think of things like this, right? Like, obviously popular. doesn't exactly correlate to quality. Sure. But there is a through line.

I mean, on occasion, sure, yeah. I think almost every time. I think with Michael Jackson, I can say that's true. I don't, I don't hear Michael Jackson and think like,

why the fuck do people like Michael Jackson? You know what I'm saying? When I hear Taylor Swift, I think that. Like, I think like actually that's the argument right there. Why do I,

why do people like her so much? No, her work ethic. I'm not her employer. I can give a fuck about her work ethic. Well, no, no, no. I'm giving her respect. Back where she deserves respect. That's what I'm doing.

Sure, whatever. Yeah, yeah. She works fucking hard, you know. I guess. Almost two-year-on long tour, that's fucking impressive. We should let him do this because it's, I know it's hard for him to give credit to a white woman. Yeah. I mean, hey, yeah, dude.

He's actually doing some very monumental. This is a big moment for me. This is a big moment for me. But, um, yeah, I don't know. I don't think, like, when I see Michael Jackson, I'm not, like, bewildered by, like, his success or anything. I'm just kind of like, the amount of it does perplex me a little bit. The amount of it. Because I'm just like, I don't know, man.

Like, all right. But that's not, but that's one moment. Like, even Freddie has fucking bad musical moments, you know. And I love Freddie Mercury. Yeah, but I feel like the height of Freddy's voice is like in, like, way, like, so much higher than Michael Jackson. The point where, like, I don't need, I can't even conceptualize how they're even close. I do think Freddie Mercury is a better singer, but I'm sure you have it's the Michael Jackson's best thing. That's interesting.

I know, I know, I think like probably years ago or I don't know when, but we had a similar conversation talking about them. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. And I do think it's interesting because I, I, uh, I really, it's supposed to enough. I think that's what it is. I agree. I agree with you actually.

I think there is. I think you're like, oh, your contrary nature was like, I think this guy's kind of way. I think, I think, I think, I think, um, I think, uh, Bohemian Rhapsody. And I mean like the actual, not the, not the bridge, because there are people always talk about the bridge. I'm, I'm probably in the minority where I think that shit's kind of dumb. I don't, it's not dumb as, as a musical piece. I don't like Bamey to Rhapsody at all.

Oh, really? I've heard it too many times at this point. Like, I'm just kind of... I don't get sick of music. I like, I just... Well, here's the thing. I didn't love it initially anyway. Like, when I first heard, I was like,

interesting. Like, you know... It's not bad. You know? Mama. It's not bad. I just, I hate... I can take it that song because it just doesn't...

It's so schizophrenic that I was just like, pick something. Dick in my ass. Pick something. I think the song is, completely, it makes complete sense. You have this ballad for the first half. And then it does that fucking crazy bridge, which is really impressive, but I, I personally don't care for it to be in it. And then the second, the latter half of the song is turned to a rock song. And the fucking riff is

great. Yeah. But that's kind of the thing. I feel almost like with that song in the same way that I kind of feel about that, that the most recent Spider-Man movie. Hi, I'm Dr. Jake Goodman and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about pediatric health,

Heidi Martinez, a CVS pharmacist from Edinburgh, Texas, talked about how parents can help manage their kids fever. When it comes to fevers, it would just depend on the child's behavior as well as the number that the thermometer is kicking back. If the child is behaving normally and they're not having any obstruction to their lifestyle that they usually lead, then maybe a fever reducer might not be necessary. If you see that later on in the day, it progresses to mom, dad, I'm not feeling well.

I need to lay down. And you know that's not normal for your child. Then it might be tied to give them a medication for a fever. Here are the full conversation, including so much great advice for parents. when it comes to keeping their kids healthy on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. For delicious meals, you could go out to eat or spend hours in the kitchen.

Or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Yeah, you heard me. Marie Callender's classic chicken parmesan bowl is delicious with scratch-made marinera sauce, creamy mozzarella cheese, and no preservatives. It's high in protein with 13. grams per serving. Marie Callenders, what having it all tastes like. The one with all of them in it, where I'm like, the, I don't remember the title of them.

No Way Home, I think, with Toby and Andrew. Yeah. Where I'm like, this is several movies. And I don't want to see the first half of this movie ever, ever. The first half is trashed that movie. Yeah. The first half is dog shit. Oh, you've evolved on this opinion.

I like the movie overall, but I think the first half of that. half is dog shit. But right. What I'm saying is like you've you've you've seen it enough now where it's like that first half is not very good. I was like he went to Dr. Strange before he like tried to figure. He went to magic first. Yeah. Well, yeah. We won't get into it. But the point is it's like it's a long. It's a long song. It's like totally fucked. Completely not not a bad way necessarily. But it's, you know what I mean? It's all over the place. Like the beginning is a different song. The middle is a different song. The end is a different song. And I'm just thinking like I would rather listen to the end of that song. or the beginning of that song. Never really the middle. You know what I'm saying? I kind of, I do.

Actually, I do when I think about it in a, how most songs are structured that completely makes sense. CK.Y. Like, I want to listen to the, I want to listen to the first 10 seconds of that song. Here's the problem. And only the first 10 seconds of that song.

See, here's the thing. I, look, I understand what you're saying, but also I like the simplicity of the, of the, just the verse, the riff and the verse. That's fine. Like, say, I can listen to, the dumbass ACDC

that'll do some very simple bamp manna now manna now you know yeah fair crazy for that shit back in the day like I can't believe that people were like I honestly think it has more to do

with the guitar tones and things like that I think it's a vibe I think that is a good guitar tone like it's a that sounds solid as fuck for how simple it like I've definitely played that before

on like a normal guitar sounds like shit It sounds like garbage, I don't know what it sounds way better Do you think that people would fuck with that song Really if that one little lick wasn't at the end of that No fuck no That makes it Dada da da da da da da da da da da da no no don't even put it in there

Just let it go Such an empty Da-da-da-da-da Dada da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Suck my ass Let me say, I'm fucking gay I can't believe a fucking gay I can't believe a fucking gay.

That song does go hard. I hate that I like that. I don't like that genre generally. But like that's not a bad. That's not hair metal. This is what you would call. Gay. I mean, look, man, when I hear that, when I hear that dude, I do kind of laugh sometimes.

Is that Tyler? Rock. Who was that? The creator? No, who was, yeah. Who is the leit? of that guy. I forget his name actually, isn't it? No, that's the guitarist.

Oh, fuck. I forget his name actually. Prime rib. They're all just named that for meat. I'm the filet mignon. My name is fucking trait stupid. I'm Angus Young and this is my vocal is Prime Rib Old. Prime rib old. That is crazy.

I think it just turned... I think a lot of music turns into like it's how you're exposed to it for me. I didn't like classic rock for a long time. I'd still not my favorite genre music. It's the kind of like genre music. I kind of like, I just don't care for it too much.

Because it doesn't, I've never listened to it too much. It wasn't around me enough for me to grow up with. But then like, I realized I kind of like metal. And I was like, I don't, I've,

this is another genre, but like it was also in everything badass. Yeah. Like every time I saw anything cool when I was younger, it was like some fucking guy with a wig on that was painted black and he was thin and angry and he was screaming at the sun. I was like, all right,

this is fucking. This is pretty cool. What kind of, what were you listening to? I don't know. It's like, someone in your family just like have like a black metal channel?

A black metal channel. Yeah, exclusively black metal. In the 90s, in the 90s, in the 90s, a black metal YouTube channel. Somehow. Look at this Kingston.

I'm like, what is this the YouTube thing? You're gonna love it to. It's not YouTube yet. It's me to right now. It's just me. Yeah. It's just that,

yeah. It's just myself. Oh my God. Yeah. I almost. Angus. I had a moment. there because you said he said classic rock but I don't know if you said this or if I just heard

it but I heard you say classic rock and so I turn and for like a split second my mind turned you into fucking what's his face from Android 19 the guy who looks like Kim Jong-un oh no my mind was not I was thinking of the word crass and but no now that you're saying that Right. Classic. My brain did like an edited a racism on you. Classic. That fucking thing that looks like Kim John Oon.

The first time I ever saw an editor that I legit, it was it was an edit of him clapping. It was him clapping and it looked at all was like this is. Did you see the energy absorbers on his hand a little bit? Was it like there? There was a little. It was actually really impressive. It was like this is a great edit. He does actually look like him though.

He kind of does. It's unfortunate that there's. There's that much similarity in their designs. Yeah. Or look, because a person doesn't have a design. A person has a look. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't remember how we got here. Oh, we were talking about Freddie Mercury and Microdexia. Yeah. What's the best classic rock song of all time? You think it was that black, back in black or something shit?

You think that or what people consider? What's the, what's the, when they hear it, oh, put on the best classic rock album or song. I can't even. I feel like when people say that and they, like when people are like, oh, I'm going to play the best classic rock song or like I look at like maybe top 10 classic rocks.

I always hate them. Classic rocks. Yeah. What about us? These are the most classic rocks. You know, we're talking about like best songs like and then the criteria. My thing was I always judge things mostly by, um, it's still hard because it's still subjective by like emotion. Sure.

And what is the most emotionally impactful. And, uh, usually ballads do that. Usually ballads are the most, uh, emotionally impactful song. So when I'm thinking about classic rock, I would say stairway to heaven has to count, right? Because that's like in the class. Well, obviously, Led Zeppelin is classic rock. And that's probably to me like that or I know some people are actually, I do. I heard people that are actually sick of Hotel California.

They're like, they hear that song. I fucking don't want to hear it anymore because I hear it anytime you turn on a radio and it's a rock radio, that song comes on all the time, I guess. Yeah. And that's a great fucking song. I think songs like that are probably. But when I hear like say a simple like, me. I'm like, no. You know, I usually just kind of like, I'm good.

Yeah, I don't know. Man, I'm thinking, as I'm thinking, bam, bam, damn. I'm like, I'm like, mm. Hey! Like I really like Credence, right? But also sometimes. Oh, Creedence Clearwater Revival. Yeah, sometimes like I've had enough of his voice.

That is so not my genre music. Like, I'm so ignorant to this genre of music. I know these songs. I like fortunate son. I can't help but like that song. Of course. Fortunate son. It's just a good

It is good Yeah But like I don't know man Rocky like a hurricane It's kind of fun I guess That's see

That's more on the genre Of where you're getting Into the Yeah That's more of the Arena rock I would say

Yeah What the hell I do like that riff Where it's like Da-na What's the It's a great It's a good

It's a good And it is energizing I will say that But what I You know what I hate Actually Yeah Fucking that rocky

what is it? Survivor? Survivor? Survivor? Oh, my fucking God. You don't like that. Get over yourself. Look, I will say, I hate how overused it is.

I was just catching up on... I'm gay. I'm so gay. I love some meat. Did I mention that I'm gay? I am gay. I'm gay. Did you know I was gay?

I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay. I like... I think that's a good song. I'm sorry. I am a gay lord because I am gay. The reason why I think that's a good song post-chercially is because of the fact that that song evokes emotion more than probably most songs.

But I don't think it does. I think it does because it's associated with the movie. I think without Rocky, that song is whatever. I think it did. I think Rocky amplified it, but I do think it still evokes emotion undiably. I don't care about Rocky, though, to be honest. The other thing that's interesting, he's really rapy in that first movie. That song...

He's weird. that song it's so it's that it's really interesting how because obviously it's associated with Rocky but that song doesn't appear into Rocky 3 that's the thing that's crazy because most people that are oh it isn't in Rocky 1st? No I've seen all of them I don't remember that's a Rocky 3 exactly I may I'm I'm a I'm a I'm a bona fide rocky fan I was obsessed with boxing rock star okay cool I yeah I like I can't even I can't well I'm not to the point where there you know how there's hipsters that like everything no I still can't Rocky 5's fucking gay dude that shit sucks with the roc

The robot? No, that's Rocky 4. That moment is so funny. Well, the robot's stupid, but they're also, it's in the 80s future. It's like they're like they're like they're in the 80s part of where everything's futuristic. Like that's why they're playing. They start playing the, um, the music that's more, uh, synch. Yeah.

It's like Blader. There's no easy way out. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. You know, it's much more. I like that shit, man. It's a, I like the idea that they were optimistic in like a technological. like dope neon feud, and then here we are.

Because that whole line started. We started to push an envelope then towards that and we were like, no, no more. Yeah, everything's the same. No more. It's so, yeah, it is, it is funny how it is funny how different everything is, but how similar everything looks. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

We're like, under the surface, everything's unrecognizable from like the 90s. Sure. But then it's just like, the only thing that's really different is that McDonald's are squares. You know? They really, the architecture is for a lot of actually buildings now. And fast food in general. Things around.

They're all the fucking same. Yeah, because it's cheaper to do that. It's very cheap. It's not the ugliest thing I've ever seen, but it is like, I remember you hanging out in a McDonald's or a Taco Bellbacks back in the day and the colors were cool. Yeah, they were distinct. Yeah. You were the Burger King around where we lived that had like the cars in?

The old cars. They turned they had like cars for seats in the fucking sort of like the idea of the whole drive-thru era. Yeah, yeah. It was like a diner. Have you been there recently? I haven't been. Dude, I haven't been.

It's just like a normal kind of industrial, you know, square. I haven't been back home since 2018. That's crazy. At least that area of it. Right. In the city like two years ago. She got on a plane and go. They should go on a plane right now, in fact.

It's the safest time to do it. Yeah. You guys tell you. me like, guys, I'm so afraid of planes. It's crazy. inexpensive and very safe. Very safe. You go.

Which, uh, Delta? You should take, uh, Delta. You should take Delta? They probably have a really good prices right now. I'd rather walk it. I'd rather walk. Take a Delta, a domestic Delta flight to, uh, I don't know. What's a place that they like the most, the biggest accent is likely to happen?

Hmm. Times Square. I guess, yeah. So, hey, you can drop me off in the middle of Times Square. You tell them. No problem. Don't worry about it. That reminds you of a dream I had a long time ago?

I can land it. It does. I remember you a dream I had a long time ago where I had a flight. He kills a lot of people. I had a long time ago where I had a flight home and I was in the airport. I was flying from L.A. to New York. And then I walk out and it's just one guy in a biplane. Hi, I'm Dr. Jake Goodman.

and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about pediatric health, Heidi Martinez, a CVS pharmacist from Edinburgh, Texas, talked about how parents can help manage their kids fever.

When it comes to fevers, it would just depend on the child's behavior as well as the number that the thermometer is kicking back. If the child is behaving normally and they're not having any obstruction to their lifestyle that they usually lead, then maybe a fever reducer might not be necessary. If you see that later on in the day, it progresses to mom, dad, I'm not feeling well. I need to lay down. And you know that's not normal for your child.

Then it might be time to give them a medication for a fever. Here are the full conversation, including so much great advice for parents. when it comes to keeping their kids healthy on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. For delicious meals, you could go out to eat or spend hours in the kitchen. Or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Yeah, you heard me.

Marie Callender's classic chicken parmesanabole is delicious with scratch-made marinera sauce, creamy mozzarella cheese, and no preservatives. It's high in protein with 30sion. grams per serving. Marie Callenders, what having it all tastes like. And just like one seat for me. And then I got in and I was like, oh, shit. And I said, can you drop me off in Manhattan?

And he was like, yeah. And then he drove in. But you know how like the city is like a grid system, right? And it's like a lot of like long hallways. He drove in and he was like going to land in the middle of the street. And then the wings like broke on the buildings. So now you're just a missile at this way. It was just like a tube and then he crashed

and then he died and then I went out and got pizza And then I woke up It's fucking insane It's fun Yeah I wouldn't I guess I'd get over that Yeah it'd be fine Yeah

Yeah I just I don't ever want to fly ever again It's I never wanted to fly at the beginning But like that's why I'm like definitely not going to create a class this year I was like I mean you wouldn't have gone anyway I would only go to any of the You didn't go to the things that were driving distance I would go

I would go if like someone I really cared about was involved. But now no one's involved. So I'm like, I'm no. Well, surprise. Chris is back in. He's fighting, he's fighting lizard.

You're fighting a lizard. I'm fighting a lizard. Damn, I couldn't. I was like, what the hell is. Chris is fighting Sean Strickland. Sean Strickland for some reason. And he's writing him. I'm like, I would love to beat him up.

But that would make me so happy, but I know he would kill me. Who's Sean Strickland? Oh, it's just a name job that you wouldn't know. It's just some racist guy in the UFC. Yeah. UFC. Yeah.

What happened to it, man? You're crazy for thinking that it's different. It is different. Lizard. It is different. I don't know how. It is. It's the people that would like that were always there.

What is an adjective with an L? Lizard. Adjective? Lonely lizard. Lively lizard. Lively. Lively. Likikish.

Or, lequacious. Ludicrous lizard Yeah see Ludacus lizard See it's easier to do it in that Because I was trying to So obviously I failed miserably But like I was trying to do like a froggy fresh thing

Oh Oh I see Yeah yeah Lizzer Yeah but see it's easy to do it by putting it in the beginning Lizard loquacious Lizard loquacious It's fucking insane

Yeah I mean That's the best That's it So yeah that's who Chris is fighting by the way Yeah cutting out all that other stuff before. We were talking a little bit earlier before the show about, I don't even know how we got there to this conversation, but like, we were like, oh, Kingston, Kingston came in here

and he looked distraught, and he were like, what's going on? And we kind of assumed that he just killed Lily. Yeah. And he came here. And we got to talking about the premise of like, like, what is, like, what would be like, would it be normal for a person to, like, let's say they have a show. Would it be normal? Like if they did kill their wife or their girlfriend,

would it be normal for them to just ignore it and come to the show and kind of put on the, put on the, you know, the face of like nothing's happening. Right. Nothing crazy is happening. Or would they stay and then like suddenly everybody's alarms are raised?

Because like, what the fuck, he didn't come in? And he didn't let us know what the hell's going on? Yeah, what's going on. We got to call him and see what's going on. We got to go to his house and invade his privacy and see what's happening exactly.

It's a tough one. It would be difficult. It's a tough one if you're, if you definitely did it and you're trying not to get caught, it's a tough decision to make on the fly because, like, now thinking about it, okay, maybe you do want to go to work like normal because then it's like somebody else will discover her

and it's like, I had no idea kind of a thing. Whoa, whoa. Oh, no. She has a handprint on her face that's my hand size. Yes. And she's dead on the ground. What the hell? There's like Digimon cards all over her. Like, there were actually, there's Digimon cards in her throat.

That's crazy That is fucking insane I don't know man It's hard for me to put myself In a spot of a murderous mentality Yeah Because I'm just so not Well not a murderous mentality

Let's say you accidentally killed somebody Because like accidentally killed somebody I'm turning myself in immediately Really? I'm running I'm running immediately That's crazy because then it's like It goes from being like an accident Kind of charge like a manslaughter type of thing

Or negligence or whatever the accident it is To just probably murder three or something Yeah fuck that I'm leaving It's either murder three or nothing So I'll risk you now then I'm so not violent Like I literally make an effort to not put my hands on people That's not the that's not the conversation

The conversation is like Let's say you're frying an egg Let's say you cook for some reason Yeah I cook every day pretty much Do you actually? Yeah we cook all the time Are you the cooker? Yeah

We help we help each other But like we Lily doesn't cook She doesn't do anything She helps me like I don't know like It's not like a I cook She doesn't she just sits down things You clean the house all the time

You cook all the meals We clean the house And we cook together Sure Would that be a deal breaker for you? What? If like your partner didn't cook at all If I am putting an effort

To keep the house clean and she's not Then that's a deal breaker yes Yeah 100% That's ridiculous It's kind of insane It should never It should never just be all one person doing anything That's crazy

I agree yeah That's crazy Yeah that's the hell That's how old families are. That's how like, Yeah. Like her, which is tradition,

which is kind of dope. I mean, it's lit, it's lit, but it's really stupid. Yes. Something stay around because they work and something stay around

because they're just fucking people are too stupid. Here's the thing. If you had a trad wife, though, would you, would you deprogram her to be like, hey, um,

you can chill, we can do this together. I couldn't have a chat. Absolutely not. I couldn't have a trad wife though. That is the, I would never turn somebody into a trad wife, but if they would never turn somebody into a trad wife, but if they

were that already? I'm not doing anything to fuck with that. You're kidding? I couldn't have a trad wife. Like I don't, I can see the splendor of it, you know? Like, I can see like the rolling golden field of having a trad wife. But like, I also, I also be like, this is like you're not a person and I don't think I'd want that. Ooh. What makes someone not a person?

Yeah, what makes them not a person? Because of the fact that their whole existence. So the trad wives listening right now? Like, what is the whole existence? Yeah. All the tradwives. All the hundreds. We hear you.

Tradwise? Yeah, trad wise. I mean, you would be surprised. I caught your solo episode, right? He did an extra ammo solo episode. No, yeah. I don't remember what the fuck I said. It was just the final question.

There was one of our listeners that was saying, and it's like kind of this deep into listening that he almost voted for Trump, where he said that he liked some of his ideas, but he thought he was just a massive piece of shit so we couldn't in good faithful from. And I was kind of like where you were, what you were saying, you're kind of like, it's kind of surprising, like, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what policies do you like? But what I'm trying to say is, we clearly have some listeners that think that guy's still spit in fire. You know what I'm saying?

On a certain level. So it wouldn't be a stretch to me that we got some trad bitches listening to our podcast. Maybe. I mean, I want to be a respectful. I can't fathom it. Brother, it's less crazy to me than like, we hop on this and talk about how much that fucking orange fat piece of shit's a clown. And there's people still around that are like, you know, like, I hear. you, but I still kind of like something of a shit.

And so, like, for someone that just, like, wants to cook and clean and take care of the baby and do everything and cry in the corner at night, you know, and then reset. Reset. Reset. Because you know that's what Tradwives do. You get a knockdown. You're like, oh, low sleep again. Let's go.

Let's go. Reset. Reset the combo. Yeah. You know, like, it's, they're about to explode and they're reset. They cry in the shower and they reset. They put on their makeup before beds and they wake up beautiful and all that stuff. It's not crying if there's other water.

It's just water more. Fire! Damn, that's good. It's not crying if there's other water. Holy shit. That is probably real, too. They're like, mask their tears in the fucking shower.

That is the most, I feel like, that makes me so sad. That makes me so really, really sad. But also, bitch is your fault. So, like,

I don't know. I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, there's a bunch of people to hold somebody into that. There's a bunch of motherfuck is following all of us

and we're like, well, yeah, you can tell them to leave and they won't. Yeah, you can tell them to leave and they won't. And I'm like, at that point, I'm like,

all right man it's yeah like if you're gonna be around here just you know you're gonna be annoyed let's just put that way yeah if you want to give us money like i'm fine oh no like i always say even in fact i kind of respected because that's that that's that's that's that's some level of principle there because it's like you know what i like these guys i don't care if i disagree they're good they're cool i i i'm gonna be honest i prefer that way i prefer people who are real like that than to the uh the motherfuckers that if you say one thing they disagree they plug their ears and unfollow right i'm like you're fucking gay that to me is ridiculous That to me is ridiculous.

I tell people, every once in a while I'm talking about politics, I've had disagreements back and forth with Dusty Smith, for example. I still watch his stream because he actually covers like really good shit. Is he still a raging piece of shit and no good garbage person? I don't, I don't, I don't, I never thought he was a bad person. I don't know that way either. Yeah. I just thought he's still a hot head. And that was his issue where he drove. a wedge between anybody who we could have

had like friends with, but he was just hostile. Yeah, I remember I didn't like him very much, but I didn't care either. It wasn't like a, I didn't think about it really. Right, I didn't, I like, I, I know I made fun of him one time I did the Twitter tracks with Buntie. And there was a thing where I was making fun of him and I still think about that every once in a while

because I was just making him. How old is he? He's gonna be 50. Okay, that makes sense. Because I remember seeing it, I remember being like, you grade immediately. Oh, he has, he had a soul of, this is how much I watch him is kind of crazy he uh he grayed really early he's like one of those people that grade

early so he used to die his hair so genetically he was already gray I think in his 20s or 30s or some shit like that all gray and 30s solid snake basically 12 year old with gray hairs so then he stopped giving his shade he's like I don't care anymore and then uh he's fucking completely white now

and so I'm like holy fuck remember Joe's cousin you're just 40 year old 40 year old 20 year old cousin he's younger than I was dude that's some guy on American Idol I still, I was like, this nigga ain't, because the cutoff was like 28 years old

to be on American Idol. Oh, really? Yeah, way back. And he came with a walker. Oh, the gray-haired guy, right? Yeah. I was just thinking about it. What the hell was his name?

Taylor Grayhead or something? I'm serious. Like, it was like, I think this name was Taylor. Oh, I lost a little oxygen. Taylor, Taylor, Cunt?

No, I wasn't cut. What are you doing? I'm really trying, I'm genuinely trying to remember this guy's name, but I have no. Taylor, cunt. Okay, I'm going to put it You seem to be on Taylor

I think it's Taylor but I don't know Is it something It's something with an H, no? Let's look, let's look Uh, okay The gray hair The gray hair There's no way it's not gonna pop up

Yeah look god this guy looks ancient Um Where the who the fuck? Can you give me a name? Oh, Taylor Rubin. Oh no no Hicks. Taylor Hicks Taylor Hicks

Taylor Hicks. Taylor Hicks. Taylor Hicks. The name sounds familiar That doesn't sound familiar to me at all I can swear I was cunt He looks like Like

Can I see him Yeah he looks like an unachieved George Clooney Like relative of George Clooney Like to me he looks like Yeah that is him Yeah okay It was Taylor Hicks yeah

I remember Sinjaya San Jaya dude that was the first Yeah No no I think about Sirgia At least twice a year What Which is more common than you would

So San Jaya was on American Idol I think 2007 2008 Around that time. And he was just this kind of like this scrawny Indian guy who he didn't sing terribly, but he wasn't very good. And so he made it way too far. And he made it really far in because people were like, we have to see this guy.

Let's vote him in. That was sort of the earliest examples that I could remember of like unified trolling. To like that name's got a forehead. Good for him. I forgot about that. He looks crazy. He looks like the leader. He does.

He looks like a bad guy. He does it at all, really. He looks like an Indian bad guy. Yeah, Sanjah. That's... Hi, I'm Dr. Jay Goodman, and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter.

In this episode, All About Women's Health, Amy Lynn Safatee Valentine, a CVS pharmacist from Long Island, New York, talked about just how often. often women approach pharmacists with questions about menopause symptoms. When it comes to patients that are really suffering with the symptoms of perimenopause or menopause, it's really important for them to be evaluated by their OBGYN, because there are a lot of prescription medications that can help with that. If someone is really opposed to taking medications, there are a few lifestyle modifications that they can do, like avoiding caffeine and spicy foods, trying to stay hydrated, have a regular

sleep cycle, get some exercise. Those are all things that could kind of help to limit the symptoms. Hear the full conversation, plus so many fantastic insights into all the stages of life when it comes to women's health. Listen to Beyond the Script, a podcast from CBS Pharmacy, wherever you get your podcasts. For delicious meals, you could go out to eat or spend hours in the kitchen. Or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Yeah, you heard me. Marie Callender's classic chicken parmesan bowl is a food.

delicious with scratch-made marinera sauce, creamy mozzarella cheese, and no preservatives. It's high in protein with 30 grams per serving. Marie Callender's what having it all tastes like. Oh, that's me. Sorry. No. Don't worry, guys. You're not popular. Oh, wow. He looks like a normal person now. Well, his eyes are still a little kind of, you know. He looks like he's on fresh and fit. Fucking Myron.

I bet he's been on Like, oh, it's the American Idol guy You know those guys Hey, it's me, women suck Yeah I Oh, man American Idol

Extra ammo Let's do a Let's do a Manospere episode Would you have And then release it publicly Like as if it's like a real thing That we can have

We can reach out to some of the Only fans creators that we know And then we can have them on We could just bully them Dude We can have Myron We should have Myron on here I would never

If I got Myron If I got Myron into this apartment I think I would literally like call I would lock him in here I would call a fumigation team Do it through the windows Yeah I would rather have on the other guy

I would not have the other one I do not want to get ripped apart by an animal That is crazy You're so convinced that he's a That is Harambe That is Harambe I fucking He looks like an ape

I swear Tell me he doesn't look you say it you say it i don't agree you are lying i'm not lying in your spirit you mean it in my spirit i sincerely do not see what that what you're saying he looks her mind i'm like look man oh i didn't fuck i didn't retweet i hate when i don't i had a dream i had a dream that we were in fisko and and there was a for reason of zoo there that's awesome and and the zoo everything broke out of the zoo and like we drove like one of our friends houses and i was like, what's that?

I was like, that's an opossom. I was like, that's not a posse. That's a sort of ape-like creature. There's a person? Was a person in a possum suit? No, no, it was a creature. And you're like, what the fuck's going on? So you started driving through town and there were apes and like animals all over.

When was this? When did you have this dream? Last night. What is wrong with you? This is the last, I have had a dream in a few months. So this one is definitely vivid. Oh, so it's vivid for you. It's very vivid.

Oh, I see. I have dreams all the time. Yeah, I dreamly every night. But I forget them immediately. It sucks. It's really annoying. I think I dream darkness sometimes. You ever have like a good idea in a dream?

Yes. And you're just infuriated because it's just like you can't get to like a notepad fast enough. Many times. I've had I've had some some risk. We talked about this recently. And we did, I think. We were just like I, I know I wrote like an amazing song in a dream. And it bothers me because I understood.

Like I know it was there because I was like I remembered parts of it. And as I was writing it down, I was drifting away. Yeah. Oh, God. That's a big one. Like tears and rain. You see this? what is that

we have a Reddit I yeah I I had no idea I had no idea we had a Reddit I don't even know how I stumbled upon it and I was like what the fuck is this

and yeah somebody posted this gorilla so when I saw it was only up for five hours and I was like what the fuck dude there's a there's an active

snark tank Reddit that I've never checked and I still haven't checked it I need to go that's funny but also like hey hi yeah thanks

whoever did that I feel like usually Reddit's hate the people that they're dedicated to though. So like, I don't know. They probably despise them. Yeah, well, I mean, it's in, maybe.

That's hard to tell really with that. I mean, this, this, uh, same shirt I got on right now, too. I hate it. It doesn't want it. It doesn't recognize. You got to show it to this one because there's only one face to, I think that's what it is. Yeah. So if I block your face.

There we go. Yeah. It's a little gorilla munch. I really don't know how I feel about that. It's a funny picture, though. I like it. What is that from? I'm smiling.

So big. Yeah, like, why are you? Why are you so joyous? You're like, eh. Like, it's, it's an interesting face that I think I've seen you make before. That's like my happiest face.

No. Why is it? Why is that happy ever? What picture is that? Like, why is it why are you so happy? I don't know. It's funny thing is you're wearing the same fucking shirt. I know.

I haven't worn this shirt in so long. So I'm like, try to try to make the face. That actually is insane that you're wearing the same. Yeah. Try to make the, try to make the face. A little, wider mouth,

wider mouth. A little wider? That's pretty good. All right. So I can see there's a little editing going on because it's this one. It hurts to try to do that. Yeah. Anyway, so I would definitely run away from an accidental homicide.

I would totally call myself. That's crazy. Like this. Then it's like your life's over, no? I actually feel like I would, honestly, the real answer is I feel like I would probably be paralyzed. I think I would probably like stand there and not do anything because I'd be like, I don't know what the fuck. I don't know what to do. I would be afraid if, like, say it was like a joke, like how your Lilly scenario, you stub the, you stuff the Digimon cards on her throat.

Like, I, you know, I, I don't know what I have. I have action figures. So maybe I did that to Jojo or something. Yeah. I would, it would be, or if I just woke up and she's like fucking on the floor, like, I would be so mad. I would be, I would be terrified because like, oh, uh, black husband kills white wife kind of a thing. Oh, yeah. It would be a whole thing.

Yeah. Then we'd have to deal with it. yeah we'd have to talk about it on the show too yeah I feel like I'm gonna have to isn't it I understand what you're saying like you were talking about it's like that that's crazy to run away from something like that

and I do agree but like also like there is like a natural kind of I feel like from a base instinct level well you always go to the worst you always go to the worst you know what do you mean like people are brains you always go to like oh my worst thing's gonna happen ever well I mean it's just like

this is a bad situation I'm gonna leave yeah get out of the I wouldn't leave I remember do I think of others every once in a while where my grandma tripped. We were in like Florida or something. And she was just in her track suit like walking. We went out.

Me and my brother went out with her. We were kids like under 10 years old or something. And she tripped on the curve and fell. I've never seen my grandma fall before. It was fucking terrifying to me just seeing. It's scary. Yeah. Old lady boom.

And instead of. And then you left. We fucking, it literally terrified us. It was like and we ran because it was so like, oh my God. Dude. She was obviously pissed. She got fucking bad that we didn't help her. But it was legitimately, I had never seen anything like that before.

And it was like, oh, maybe we, it's like almost like immediately we assume the worst and like we need to go run and like find somebody or do something. Yeah. Instead of checking on my grandma and helping her. I was a similar story. I was a similar story, but I did the opposite. I just stayed to help my grandma. I was like, I'm going to help my grandma. Because I was like, oh, my grandma.

Help her. Help them right when they fall. But this is real. She's done this to me multiple times. She's done this to me so many times that she did one time. There was like an Oprah Winfrey show like in New York and she wanted to go see, right? We were waiting in line to go see and she obviously dragged me. It was like my sister didn't want to go.

My cousin didn't want to go and her siblings didn't want to go. And I was like, Grandma, I don't want to go. He was like, well, too bad, you're going. So we went to the city. We were in like, we were in the place in Queens. I forgot what it's called the, like the showroom in Queens. Oh, is it the open sky stadium? Yeah, I forgot what it's.

I think I saw Holland Oates there. Forest Hills? No, enough. Horse Hills. It's some sort of like whatever. The Javitt Center, the Jacob Javitt Center? That's in Manhattan. Don't worry about it. It might be. The location's not important. Yeah, yeah. So we went there, and I remember

she fell down, but she always, whenever she falls, she grabs me to help herself not fall. She's done it multiple times in my life. So that's why she wanted you there. She wanted you there to. Literally just in case, you know. So like, she, she slipped because it was snowy. She slipped, and I remember she grabbed the collar of my shirt.

And in the, in the, process of falling, she used me to not fall. Let's go. And threw me to the floor. And I was like, Grandma, why? You're fucking crutched in. Literally. I was like, Grandma, no. I got it, but I closed my clothes were all fucked up and I was like,

now I got to go see and watch Oprah fucked up? What if they pan on me? Look at this poor kid. This poor, dirty, freezing black teenager with dirt and soot and fucking snow all over.

Yeah, you slipped on like an oil like a little... Oil chimney opening or something like that. You know those cartoons? In a snow? You know those cartoons when somebody like slips on a banana peel and then they like enter a building and they come out with like some

assortment of bullshit on it? Like you slip and like you scroll into like a fucking oil refinery. And I come out as like a Saudi prince or something like that. You come out as a Saudi prince and say. And you sit down still. You still sit down. Kikston, get the fuck over here.

Yeah. Like, Grandma, let's just go inside. And the lady next door is laughing. And then Oprah's like, at the end of it, she gives everybody like a new wardrobe. It's like, you get a new wardrobe and you get a new wardrobe. Not you. Not you. You get sentenced to death.

Yeah, you're a disgrace. What? Bring out to the gallows. They fucking have, what's his name, Dr. Phil? Like when he was still like a servant or whatever. When he was Mr. Phil. Yeah, Mr. Phil like wheeling it out. Wheeling out the fucking.

And like a burlack hood. Like the fucking axe guy From Resident Evil 5 Yeah, yeah, so That shit was so fucking insane I can't wait to get my fake degree Can we get my degree At ITTTech.store

Dot store Fuck If it was that easy man I would be like What am I doing? Yeah, what am I doing? Why am I not doing this? You really can do that

That is true That is like not Not something you can't do My oldest step My oldest step sister She needed a group when Washington Mutual was still a thing. Oh my God.

Yeah, right? She needed a degree to get this position. She was like, oh yeah, I have one. They don't verify. And I was like, what the, I was like, wait. So you just skip thousands of dollars in years to just fucking just be like, yeah, I get this job. And I was like, that's, that's insane. It's kind of like the sports thing, too.

It's like, like people are just like, you're a really good player. We're going to just default past your classes. You know what I mean? Like, I've seen that half. That's true. It's just like, I know what people that happen too. That's lowly. 100% do.

Like, these are dumb ass motherfuckers. There's the very idea that there was any merit in this country ever is hilarious in retrospect. Merit is truly insane. Merit is so fucking,

it's not real. It's definitely not. I mean, it's all, it's nepotism and just who you know. It's nepotism and maliciousness. Yeah.

Really. I think merit does matter, but the idea that the merit is a piece of paper is fucking so insanely stupid. Yeah. Like people that, I know people that are in my bio classes

that were fucking idiot. that are now nurses. Yeah. They're fucking idiot. They went on, they were cheating in classes. Like, there's a college

where eyeballing it anyway, doctors. Yeah, to a degree, yeah, 100%. Like, West, there's a, a contractor called West Coast Medical, right?

You, it's a nursing school that you take none of these science classes to go get into. Sick. That is crazy. I bet I ran into one recently so my new doctor

is right down the street from me where I was, I just got a blood drawn from a nurse and usually all my encounters have been like professional. Like, oh yeah, they train, they have experience. This one, it was crazy.

It was like she was torturing me. Because like her technique was, first of all, you know, anyone, my veins are very visible, very easy. I'm an easy candidate. So first. She goes to the side and like, like, here's my vein. So easy. Like, she goes to the side. She goes this way.

And I'm like, what's happening? And then. And then it's at. Like, like, I can't get you? She went goofy She was going to goofy It was at a crazy angle I was like fuck this hurts

And then like I saw I tried to relieve some pain By putting my arm up a little bit And she was like no She literally did this twice And I was like what do you I was looking at her like What are you doing? I've never I was like

My only explanation is she likes hurting people Coming in from the side That's insane I've never How do that? I've never had my blood drawn I've never had my blood drawn in italics For people

For people listening It wasn't completely To the side It was like at a Less 45-ish degree angle Instead of it is coming in like That's still crazy Completely parallel to my fucking forearm

Yeah It was at it was angled a little 45 maybe a little bit of a stretch But it was at an angle enough To where I was like what the fuck It was actually just a bubble tea straw That he got She got in

And she just like She had like a She had like one of those vacuum cleaner level Like fucking like tubes Yeah It's just It's a bubble tea straw and a dyson vacuum.

I'm thinning. I'm thinning. Stop. Oh. That's all my blood. You can't even do it. I feel like just after a little bit, like, you're already like, oh. Fuck.

Yeah. That was crazy. I'm never, uh, that bitch. I'm never letting touch me again. And I don't even, to be fair, I don't even know she did anything with that blood because I drank it. Because, um, doctor hasn't called me. No one's called me for my results and it's been weeks.

It takes a week. Um, like usually. It takes a month. I remember years ago I went to like I think I did a blood test at like a planned parenthood. Oh nice. Just out of safety, you know. Yeah. That was in a raucous time.

But so I was getting my blood drawn and then the nurse was like the nurse, she said something that was like so it put me off guard. But like I didn't know how to interpret it. She said, she said, I got a nice blood. Hi, I'm Dr. J. Goodman and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about pediatric health, Heidi Martinez, a CVS pharmacist from Edinburgh, Texas, talked about how parents can help manage their kids fever. When it comes to fevers, it would just depend on the child's behavior as well as the number

that the thermometer is kicking back. If the child is behaving normally and they're not having any obstruction to their lifestyle that they usually lead, then maybe a fever reducer might not be necessary. If you see that later on in the day, it progresses to mom, dad, I'm not feeling well, I need to lay down. And you know, that's not normal for your child. Then it might be time to give them a medication for a fever. Here are the full conversation, including so much great advice for parents when it comes to keeping their kids healthy on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. For delicious meals, you could go out to eat or spend hours in the kitchen.

Or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Yeah, you heard me. Marie Callender's classic chicken parmesan bowl is delicious with scratch-made marinera sauce, creamy mozzarella cheese, and no preservatives. It's high in protein with 30 grams per serving. Marie Callenders, what having it all? tastes like. But it wasn't like

I can't remember the tone exactly, but it was like, I wasn't paying enough attention so like I just interpreted the words and I was like, I don't know. Do you think you disassociated because you saw her salivating?

I don't know what... You're fucking... A vampire with their plan parent is crazy activity. That's crazy. That's a great idea. They're eating them. They're eating them afterwards.

Yeah. I'm nice. I have that embryo. You're gonna finish that? You gonna finish that? I remember that should being borderline free, by the way. I'm pretty sure now it's like $2,000 to put up Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood had a lot of free services back in the day.

Yeah, I know the big, I know the big A was not free. Yeah, obviously. They don't do that there. It was all of the, it was like preventative care, prevented of stuff like that was. Early ones they did there. What? Like early, early, like very early ones they do there. What do you mean like the pill?

No, like, like, you mean actual procedures, like a clinic? Within a first, within a first, within a first. I feel like I only do that at clinics, but like I could be wrong. I literally, I don't have, yeah. I'm not a doctor. I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never had that, I've never had a, I've had a few scares, but they all didn't pan out. It's just one of those things how humans, how humans behave were some of those girls have late periods all the time. Yeah.

But they didn't have any sexual activity around that time, so they didn't think about it. I'll give you $75 and a bus ticket. Okay, handle that. $75,000 of a busking. $75,000 of busting. Handle that. Here's a ticket to the museum of staircases and spring-loaded boxing gloves. Exactly.

Be quick about it, bitch, and I want my receipt. I want my receipt. That's, I mean, that is smart. It's at least get, you got to get the receipts and let them, because you got to know the You got to go. You got to go. It's a lot smarter to just go. Especially if I'm telling you to, if I'm telling you not to do it, which granted, I've

haven't had one that has had to go. take that actual step it's always been like you're taking that pill you're taking that pill right you're taking that pill the morning after one girl I've had one girl she took it upon herself she was like ah just just in case I'm like I didn't even ask for money or nothing I had it once and I was like we're going to CBS right now

especially some of the girls this date no I definitely had one I had one of those where I'm like I'm moving to Canada and or Mexico like if that's what happens I have one And you're going to be a double being. They're going to split down the middle like 90 Superman, but there's a blue and a red one. Yeah, I was. Yeah.

Just one of those girls that like we had absolutely zero in common other than just like, oh, we're just, we're just fucking, right? Right, right. It was one of those things where I was like, oh my God. And then so that after that, it's like new, new, new caveat, new line is a, she needs to be cool at least. Yeah. Like if you're gonna, if you're gonna fuck a girl, like, at least she can't be serious. Serious. That's a serious guy.

She was like one of those dumb raider bitches. Like, I know huh kind of thing. And I'm like, I would have killed myself. I love that. I love the idea of a girl. Knock down so many of those. I love the idea of you. I don't know why I couldn't stop.

Like I was, I was addicted to terrible Hispanic women in New York. I don't know what was wrong with me. Yeah. Are you going to say, Chris? Thank you for timing that question with the, really. I. What are you going to say? Well, he stopped talking.

I don't remember now. Uh-oh. Guys, seriously, don't fuck somebody. You wouldn't at least be 4% okay with that percentage of a lot. You gotta have some sort of like, you know, you gotta have a line. Think of the worst scenario and then be like, what can I handle this?

If you say fuck, no, don't. It's not, it's not worth it, bro. Even though, like, say, in my situation, everything's worked out just fine, but still. Yeah, it's a, it's a gamble. I know plenty of people. I know plenty of people that have. kids with people they fucking hate.

And they are bound together as long as that kid is alive. Yeah. So, you know. A handful of my high school friends. They absolutely did not stay with their baby mamas. Like, not even like a shot. Not even a little bit. Yeah.

Oh, I remember I was going to say it was stupid and had nothing to do with anyone. Okay. But I was going to say, like, because I mentioned spring-loaded boxing gloves. And that was like, I was thinking like, that's something that I thought I would see more of also. Like, I saw that in so many cartoons. I was disappointed that, like, you could. I was disappointed that. You couldn't just go get that.

You know what I mean? Like they weren't at Walmart or something. For me, it was the lone banana peels. What do you mean? Is this a banana? Yeah, don't you just do that yourself? Yeah, but I never saw rogue banana peels.

I never saw them really. I thought these are like a real caroline. You've never seen a rogue banana peel? I definitely have. I don't know if I pointed it out or anything. I don't leave a little. Sure. To make them give a little bit of banana in it.

That's how you make them like, like you die. Look, if they didn't, a little bit of bananas. If they weren't biodegradable, we probably would see way more. That's true. Humans is shit. Yeah. animal comes and grabs it. Particularly in America.

It's definitely they're doing that. We're particularly disgusting here. Yeah. No, yeah for sure. We're also way too overcrowded. Yes, but like we are very disgusting here. Well, we're just because we, you know, we're social creatures and we like to jam into these air.

Like when you look at like say, oh, the vast majority of these countries live in like these little dots, right? Like it's kind of crazy. Even us, the middle of us is empty. No. Yeah, nigga. I want fucking us to essentially terrifold. the Midwest and turn it into like bring it up to speed,

have a good internet, good, good, like, you know? Do we use it for like agriculture stuff or no? Is it just not being used at all? Yeah. Or is it just like we're not there because we don't want to get taken into the heavens by wind? It's kind of a mix of both. Like there's some of that we use for agriculture and some of it is just kind of barren and it's not really a lot to do.

It's like we can do it. It's like when you look at say like Arizona and Nevada, they're like, you're not doing anything there. What are we doing? But so people started building like big ass cities there. So I'm like, okay, we can definitely do. that in some of the dry patches in the Midwest, but I think just a lot of rich cunts just own all this property and just aren't doing anything with it. They just bought it and they're like, I don't know.

Doesn't Bill Gates own like a fucking ridiculous amount of like just unused farmland or something. It doesn't surprise me. I feel like I remember reading that. Fucking, I know Zuck owns like like fat parts of like Hawaii or something. Just like, oh, yeah, fuck it. Really? Yeah, he owns like an island and stuff and he owns like. I wish I could smite people. Yeah. If I could like call upon the power of the gods and just, smite humans. That would be great, wouldn't it? It would be until I'd lose it, because I'm going to lose it eventually.

Who would you, if you had just one charge? One charge? Yeah, we had one charge and you lose it. You can see, you can, there can be one smite. Ah, no, no, it's one person. I think I can legally say. Yeah, I can't do one person. You can't say, like, hypothetically.

I can't do one person. Because it's specifically illegal. I guess you go. It's pretty obvious to it is. I think it's only illegal if you're actually saying I'm going to do this. is not a fantasy scenario where you can't let's not let's not let's not let's not let's not let's not I don't know one one is I can't do one yeah yeah you can't just I need to kill the person that creates that rule that it's only one first and then I'll have more to you that's not that's not that's

you need to kill the person who enforces that rule hi I'm dr. j. Goodman host of beyond the script the podcast where I sit down with pharmacist to answer the health questions you didn't even know you ass at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, we are diving into gut health with CVS pharmacist Victoria Motola, who explains why so many of us live with stomach issues we should not accept as normal. A lot of what I see is just like chronic bloating, chronic stomach aches. Like I get a stomachache every time that I eat and it just becomes like a lifestyle where, oh yeah, you know, I just, I have a stomachache every day. Or I'm constantly feeling like gassy. And, and And all of those things are not something that generally, if you have a healthy gut, you should be living with.

So that's when we deep dive. We deep dive into your medication. We deep dive into your OTC medication. And then at that point, we can probably identify something that we can change. Hear the full conversation, plus some fascinating facts about how gut health affects so much more than just your stomach on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy and IHeartRadio. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. For delicious meals, you could go out to eat or spend hours in the kitchen. Or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal.

Yeah, you heard me. Marie Callender's classic chicken parmesan bowl is delicious with scratch-made marinera sauce, creamy mozzarella cheese, and no preservatives. It's high in protein with 30 grams per serving. Marie Callender's what having it all tastes like. this person who made it up you know who's to say they have any power that's true I just need I need to be able

to break that rule yeah how many people do you think would just waste it on the most inconsecule like the most oh a lot of people I think a lot of people would be like fucking Sarah from across the street yeah that fucking time of it would just be their teacher that's what I heard yeah I wish Miss Hoscom would die

I remember hearing that there was like this worst scenario where like you have that's how you die. In the middle of class, too, a kid is like, she's teaching and like she's, ah, I've been laughing about one of our, one of our snark tank listeners sent me that,

what's it called Monster House? A clip? Oh, which one? That guy, he just screams out of nowhere. He just screams out of nowhere. He's like the cop in the car. Oh, in the car? It's not real.

It's edited. It's so, I've seen that. I've never seen that before. I've watched it like probably 30 times last night so fucking fun it in me that movie has a lot of

I love the clip up from that movie where the guy comes in and he eats the thing yeah you know what I'm talking about it? There's like a scene where like oh sorry kids just better be good I was in the forest wrestling with a bear clone we got the call

ah it's so stupid I've seen that movie's hideous also that movie is a funny disgusting animation holy fuck It's a classic though, unfortunately. It's such a good.

It is really good. I never seen it. I saw those first. Did you see? So I showed on Instagram. I don't know if you guys saw it. Yeah. Did you guys see this wrestling?

This wrestling, this indie wrestling league with this character. No, no, no. Okay. So you haven't seen it. There's a, there's a wrestling league. I don't know what it's called. I don't know the. abbreviation for it. I have no touchstone for wrestling at all.

All I know is that this looks like it looked like an independent kind of small thing. Yeah. And there's a wrestler and his name, he's got two flannels on. He's got a flannel tied around his waist. He's got a flannel up here. He's got a long hair and a hat. And his name is Stephen Flo. Uh-huh.

Steven Flo. Bro, the song is Stephen, like, Stephen Flo. That's sick as fuck. That's sick as fuck. And the lyrics are, Stephen Flo, Stephen Flo. Flo. And then the announcer goes, it's Stephen Flo. I thought him climbing up on a turnbuckle. I saw you supposed to death. The lyrics are fucking awesome. Because the chorus is just

Stephen Flo over and over again. But the lyrics are like all sorts of weird shit. And then at the end it's like, Stephen is here, but I don't know where he is. Oh. It is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever seen. It sounds like this fucking show. It sounds like literally the show. But, dude, like, the way the announcer, the way the announcer interjects, is like, just so you know, it's Stephen Flo. Like, if you haven't figured it out by now. Steve and Flood. It's murdered what I heard it.

I love fucking, um, uh, fucking indie shit. Because like, there is, uh, so Kane, um, I'm sure you've seen Kane before Chris. Like, if I show you a picture, like, oh, yeah. I think I've seen it. Okay, just red mask and red, like, you know, he's a big fucking dumbass. he oh go ahead hold on you keep talking oh okay it's magical

so there's a there's a gay version of cane in the in the indies name gain it's fucking awesome I look to heaven you said that and I looked I looked I looked right at God

like wherever God is in heaven he saw me stare right at him oh he's you see me This fucking asshole Oh my god Wait, really? Let me see it Let me see him

Just he's just like He's just gay That is insane It's just a gay version of gay That is so fucking stupid That's the funniest thing I've seen in my life Where are you don't Steve and flow

With Steve and flow It's so Stephen Flo Stephen Flo. Stephen Flo. Stephen Flo. And what I love most about it is that it's Stephen Flo, but like Flo has an E at the end.

To differentiate him. That's great. It's so damn stupid. He looks like a wrestler, because there was a wrestler named Raven that essentially looked like that grun shit. Oh my God, I remember Raven. Yeah. So he looks like a, that's basically how Raven dressed. He looked like fucking, he looked like grunch.

Yeah. He looks like that. Long hair. stupid finals and shit, jean shorts. Gaines is crazy. Gaines fucking. That is probably one of the wildest. That is a joke for me.

Like that is a joke that was like, oh, this is fucking. This faggots. God damn it. You can't do that, damn it. So this is Gain, G-A-Y-N-E. G-A-Y-N-E. He's just caned but gay. He's just gay cane.

I swear to God, like, Oh, my God. People always say like, oh, man, like, that's so, like, I always get, people are like, oh, it's so immature. And I'm like, yeah, so what? The fact that it is immature, but still exists is what makes it funny. Yeah. That, like, adults were like, you know what I'm going to do?

Like a 30-year-old man was like, you know what I'm going to do? Exactly that. I'll be cane, but gay. And commit to it to the point where he's like out there doing it. It's the commitment to the bit that makes it funny. It's 100%. I went through a phase where I thought like you go to kill you think silliness is funny. This thing is it's silly or funny.

Yeah. And then you go through it like, you're like, oh, man, I like more refined comedy. But like, I think farts are a little funnier now. And then you're like, oh, I just think edge is funny. But I've just looped back around to just ridiculousness. Yeah. It's the key to hilarity to me. Because like the idea of someone being like, you know, it would be really funny if Kane was gay.

And when your homies being like, say less. Yeah. And then this fucking guy goes and fucking just. Although, you don't see it for two days. And he pulls back up. Look at this guy. I'm gay. I'm gay.

I'm gay. Like a prince. Yeah. Yeah, I have no interest in watching like whatever the match was. Yeah. But like that intro fucking killed me. There's a, so my friend and I, we were actually going to legitimately, so there's a thing called South Paul regional wrestling that the WWE universe started. It was like a fake regional southern scene. And so all the wrestlers in WWE just came up with all these fake wrestler things and they were just doing like these promos. And so we wanted to do something similar like that. And we were, we didn't come up. You know it was one of those things. We're on the fly. We're like, what should we call it? And then somebody. said the sexual wrestling federation and it never changed.

Like it was like a placeholder and it's like okay we're just the SWF now I guess we're the sexual wrestling federation and we started actually creating characters where my favorite one was because this was right when the unite the right thing happened and so the main villain was the alt writer

and he was like the Tiki Torch guy he's on his cackas and shit can you guess what his finishing move is called? What? The final solution? Yes. I love it. I love when people understand

Yeah, where we go. That's a dope fucking. It sounds dope, feeling it? I hate how bigadry is fucking funny. Is this funny and cool in a really not good way? It's like, oh, man, this is, like, like, the final boss of a fight being a clans member draped in like some sort of like sick fucking gown with a hood on and he has like a sword that's a giant cross or something. I'm like, look, this is lit. Yeah, and if he's good, too, that's the thing.

So do you remember Kung Fury? Hi, I'm Dr. Jay Goodman, and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, All About Women's Health, Amy Lynn Safatee Valentine, a CVS pharmacist from Long Island, New York, talked about just how often women approach pharmacists with questions about menopause symptoms. When it comes to patients that are really suffering with the symptoms of paramedopause or menopause, it's really important for them to be evaluated by their OBGYN, because there are a lot of prescription medications that can help with that. If someone is really opposed to taking medications, there are a few lifestyle modifications that they can do, like avoiding caffeine and spicy foods, trying to stay hydrated, have a regular sleep cycle, get some exercise. Those are all things that can kind of help to limit the symptoms.

Hear the full conversation, plus so many fantastic insights into all the stages of life when it comes to women's health. Listen to Beyond the Script, a podcast from CBS Pharmacy, wherever you get your podcasts. For delicious meals, you could go out to eat or spend hours in the kitchen. Or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Yeah, you heard me. Marie Callender's classic chicken parmesan bowl is delicious with Scratch made marinera sauce, creamy mozzarella cheese and no preservatives. It's high in protein with 30 grams per serving.

Marie Callenders, what having it all tastes like. Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so here's the thing that I feel like dropped the ball because in that entire movie, Hitler was supposed to be a kung fu genius, and he was built up as that. And then it turns out he was just complete fraud.

And it actually disappointed me, because I was thinking, like, the twist is going to be, no, he actually is. Like, so he, like, you know, because you were like, okay, he's a fraud. he's pretending he's like a wizard of Oz type thing yeah it was what and I was like well no that's you I feel like I loved it up to that point where I was super disappointed that I'm like I wanted Hitler to be like oh it turns out he's the shit I think maybe at that time they didn't want to empower

Hitler I think that's probably what happened it's kind of like now you know I think it would have been better for sure but it's like one of those it's I do agree that like they should just did it anyway because I'm I'm of the mind it's almost like um in like I think Metal Gear Solid 2 was supposed to have like the the World Trade Center in it you know what I mean but then they were like eh no it's like imagine let's cut that out or like even Spider-Man you remember Spider-Man the first trailer for Spider-Man yeah where they had like they caught the helicopter in between the Twin Towers sick imagery it's the only time the Twin Towers have ever looked cool to me

I think they took it out of Project Gotham racing too oh I think so yeah they got rid of it I don't remember that. You get to the end of Final Fantasy 6th and stuff, Roth is a bitch, like, actually. In the 70s, it's like, you punch him once. He's like, oh! He blows up. He blows.

All right. I saved the world. He blows up. Should we move on to a question? Yeah, let's do it. Yeah, let's go on to some questions from our patrons over at Patreon on Tom Slizer Star Tank. Remember, you can go over there.

It's a bunch of tiers that you can do. There's a tier for asking questions. There's a tear for getting your name right at the end of the show. In my solo episode, there was some confusion about, like, I guess there's still like a $15 tier and there's some people who are on the $15 tier like curious as to why their names aren't being read. That's not the name read tier. That's like kind of like an older. Like we've got to fix that. Patreon's weird about like altering tiers.

Like there's like a weird kind of back end thing that you have to do. Because I remember trying to do this with my old one and it's just like you can't just fucking do that. You got to do all. And it's weird. It's fucking bizarre. especially if there are people attached to it So just PSA If you're trying to get your name right on the show

And you're curious is why it's not happening And you're on that tiered That's why Um $25.25 which is expensive But it's expensive It's four fucking pages Yeah if at this point If it was $25 how

Yeah exactly If it was We'd be here forever It would be the whole show Well let's let's be real That's I can't remember What the tier was before When we first started it

It was lower And it got I think it got up twice if I remember correctly. Yeah, I think it might have been 20. It didn't start off at, I don't even know if it started off at 20. I'm not even sure. I would have to be, I've had to check.

I just remember it. We were like, fuck, it's going to be insane. I mean, for example, I think we have like, like, say the $5 tier has like, I think there's like 1,300 people or something like that in the tier. So imagine if we lowered it, a lot of those people would migrate to the, it's like we can't read all those credits. So it's literally for that person. Yeah, it's, it's expensive specifically to disincentivize you from doing. And there's a bunch of, we appreciate it. No, it's fucking, it's like these people, like, it's, it's, it's phenomenal. It's, it's really cool. I don't, I don't feel like, uh, I'm hoping that we're just giving them a product that they feel like it's well deserve. And the people that have been there for like years, they clearly think so. And I'm, that makes me happy. Yeah, I think so. And the, the, the credits at this point have become such a big part of the show. Yes. That I think people actually sit around and listen to it more.

Yes. Because there's unhinged shit happening in them. And I think it makes people more likely to even jump on it. If we just ran through them every time, I don't think people would care. They wouldn't. I think some of the best material on our show has been in the credits for sure. Yeah. Yeah.

I think so, too. Anyway, so we're going to get into some questions here. Patreon to Compsest to Snark Tank, you can go over there. Snarktank. For new merch soon. Getting pants while soft wrote in. Well, I mean, that's kind of the default. I mean, I've been pants while very erect before.

Yeah, getting pants while hard is weird. I've been pants while hard before. What? Like fully erect before, yeah. Explain yourself. Don't worry about me. Okay. You're playing basketball?

I was feeding it a little bit. You're playing basketball. I'm just purposely making the ball and head graze the tip of my dick. It's a secret way to jack off. That's so much effort. And then someone finally figured it out and they're like, wait a minute. Let's do you in your desk. Don't, no, no, no.

Wait a minute. as if they're like unmasking a Scooby-Doo villain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, they've been trying to figure out why I've been hard no time. Wait, I think I know what I'm going on.

I think I, hey. You're a horn. Adrian, my penis is a sphere. What do you mean? My penis is a spherical object, Adrian. Why, Rocky? Why?

It looks like a tomato. I was born this way, I guess. I was born this way. You know, you know, you got good. know me. Adrian, you've sucked on this ball before. You sucked on his way.

How are you so surprised? Maybe I was bored as way. You're singing this. Is he saying, maybe I was born the right track. Maybe I was born this way. Sloan karaoke is actually

kind of, actually a brilliant idea. I would love the Solon. We should have a semester Sloan karaoke. We should have a semester solo karaoke. karaoke night. I think it'll be a great idea. Who's birthday is next?

Oh my God, I just, I just leaped into another universe. That's amazing. They've got a great idea. I'm actually writing that day. Oh, that sounds awesome. I'm writing that darned because I don't want to forget that actually. I want to do Jounning Pool Bodies.

Sylvester. I think that would be a fun. I feel like a lot of people would come to that. No. Nothing's wrong with me. You have to Give you Don't

You have to combine You have to combine them You have to fuse both of the toes How could you do that? Dude, my fucking That was crazy You see his face go limp I almost

I channeled his I'm so glad I cut to you I channeled his I literally I felt like I was going to go fucking paralyzed, dude. He wants to have a tiny stroke. I said, a tighter.

I merged tiny and minor. I'm fucking tighter stroke. That's crazy. I'm never doing that again. Maybe he's solo karaoke might be dangerous. Well, just don't do Sylvester Salone doing fucking,

what the fuck's that band called again? Pro Jam? Yeah, pro. Yeah, there you go. Pro Jam. I've only ever heard even flow. It just wasn't coming to my mind. There was a Pro Jam Exhibit when I went to Seattle. Do they have any other songs? They have one song. They're really popular.

Pro Jam is the one that I like that I've heard. They're really popular. I know they have many. They actually released an album like a year or two ago. They still around? Yes. Oh, I remember that day. How old are they? I remember the day they put out that new album because I went to the store and I bought it and I was like, man, it doesn't get any better than this. Hi, I'm Dr. Jay Goodman and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about pediatric health, Heidi Martinez, a CVS pharmacist from Edinburgh, Texas, talked about how parents can help manage

their kids fever. When it comes to fevers, it would just depend on the child's behavior as well as the number that the thermometer is kicking back. If the child is behaving normally and they're not having any obstruction to their lifestyle that they usually lead, then maybe a fever reducer might not be necessary. If you see that later on in the day, it progresses to mom, dad, I'm not feeling well. I need to lay down. And you know that's not normal for your child. Then it might be time to give them a medication for a fever. Here are the full conversation, including so much great advice for parents when it comes to keeping their kids healthy on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts. For delicious meals, you could go out to eat or spend hours in the kitchen. Or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Yeah, you heard me. Marie Callender's classic chicken parmesan bowl is delicious with scratch-made marinera sauce, creamy mozzarella cheese, and no preservatives.

It's high in protein with 30 grams per serving. Marie Callenders, what having it all, tastes like, I need something. You'd be my swipe. You'd be my swipe. It'd be you. You would waste it like a child. You made me mad. You made me mad in this instance. You have to die.

That's a good bad joke. It's not bad. It's not bad at all. Anyway, what did he say? I don't even think we read the fucking... Not at all. Not even close. All right. So he said, yeah, getting pants while softro and he says, hey, boys, snark tank meetup at the Dave Blunt's concert in Santa Ana at the Observatory. I know Sweeney's a... big fan. I'm not.

Derek's the big fan. When is this? In May. In May? How much of the tickets? Uh, like 30 bucks. Oh, what? That might not be a bad idea. There's no... Should we have an unofficial meetup at the Dave Bloods concert? I literally already secured my tickets, so if you guys want to do that, yeah, absolutely. Is it seats? Or is it like an opening...

No, it's an open floor thing. I'm assuming it's just a pit. It's just the floor. No, no, it's definitely just the floor. There's no... Okay, cool. I'm sipping on... That might happen. Derek will be there at the very least. I will absolutely be there. I already got my tickets.

Depending on the day in May. Yeah. I don't know who the fuck Dave Blenz is. You've seen his fat ass. You've seen him, but I don't know anything about him. I've never heard anything that he's ever done. I think I might not specifically. I might avoid it specifically.

Just to be. Just to be completely bewildered. I like that. But like, I don't, I don't hate the idea. Yeah. That might be crazy. It's got to be a great experience. We kind of get away in some way with like, like, we don't have to pay for

security you know what I mean that is brilliant it's like having a fucking meetup at a convention or something yeah it's like we it's already paid for the security and stuff and you're like hey we don't have a booth but we just meet up over here you're right you're right next to the booth

like someone has the booth you're like I mean he's fucking like Jim Lee's booth or something just like we're all going to meet up at Jim Lee's booth and then like Ralph has a booth who it's right next to Ethan Ralph with a booth is crazy Ethan Ralph like Comic Con yeah like a Vets

Not a vendor. What is it called? He's it around with a copper? It's insane. Oh, people who say him signing people's bobbleheads. Did I show him what he looks like right now? He's signing pistols. No, he has a new form.

So he has, he looks like a, a wax statue. It doesn't make sense. Like he's shaped off. Okay, it's going to take me a second. Yeah, yeah, no worries. That's a, but yeah, so, yeah, maybe. Jesus Christ. Maybe a Star Tank meetup at the Dave Bluntz thing.

Derek will be there. You can find him. Yeah. I might go, actually. so yeah whatever that should be it should be fun i think it's gonna be a fun show i have no concept of who this guy like i know he's a fat guy yeah but is that all he like what does he do he's just like yeah he's such a he's such a fucking is he a rapper yes and he's like he's like he does pop rap right but he just sings about uh chicks like chicks like but it's like one of those things where it's like it's so

obvious he's not doing this stuff. Well, yeah. That's what makes it so compelling. Like, he's, he's this fucking massive drug addict that can't stop sipping on promethazine. There's a video. You saw a picture he posted yesterday.

It's him holding a mountain ducan bottle full of fucking scissors. And I'm like, I'm like, this is, like, at what point is observing, like, prod of the problem, you know? Oh, yeah. Well, I'm 100%.

If he's, if he, uh, well, at least everybody's kind of tell him to lose weight so he doesn't die. What about the time we see him? He's a rail thing. Well, damn, that would really kind of... With no stretch skin either.

He just looks like good. He's nice tightened up. He was like, at Gabe Chappelle. At that point, I'd like, well, this is obviously not him. I refused to lose you. I saw you three days ago. And you were a rotund. Fuck.

What was I going to look up? Ethan Ralph. Modern, current day. Current day, even Ralph. I feel like every time I see him, I don't know what he looks like really. I've seen him But I feel like he's looked different Every time I've seen him

So he just, you know It's just picture Fucking disgusting I feel like he looks like a polyp That's not too far off Like the octopus Like the jellyfish thing What?

A polyp What's that? Aren't those like jellyfish forms Isn't that the jellyfish stage? Do you not know what a polyp is? Not exactly Aren't you trying to be a nurse? I'm trying to remember what are you saying

So I'm thinking of like P-O-L-I-Fist P. One of the things that become jellyfish. So I'll pull up what he looks like right now. It's like a... I'm shocked. So this is what it looks like right now, right?

Fred Durst. Yeah. I mean, he's just a drunk and... Yeah, and Fred Durst kind of covers it. So... He checked in a rehab and I don't understand why he looks like this now. He looks like a wax statue or something. Like, I don't, like, he's, he's like smooth.

Ew. His, like, cavernous fucking, like, there's like, you can't see his eyes. Ew, why does he look long? He just looks fucking crazy now. That doesn't even look like a different, but that looks like his dad. It looks like his. What the fuck am I seeing? You're seeing.

I never saw him look like that. He's like a fucking purge mask, dude. Like, I, like, he's just like, like, I don't understand. What the fuck am I seeing, dude? That's what I'm saying, dude. Like, that is not the same person. It's, there you go. Yeah.

No, cool. Wait, wait, hold on. Oh, sorry. Yeah, there we go. What the fuck am I even looking at, man? It looks like, yeah. So he's, I don't understand why he did. There's something that doesn't make sense to me with this guy or I'm going to, it's like, I'm going to.

It's like he has, I guess, well, I guess it does make sense. He just has to, oh, people aren't talking about me anymore, I guess. and so I have to For what reason you go to rehab And completely shave off all of your hair He's never, he's never like that Yeah And then he goes to rehab and he's like I'm gonna

A clean shave is a very specific choice You're talking about this right I'm tripping a polypher right That's a form of a jellyfish I guess I guess that's such a specific I love that you're still on this by the way It's a part of his life cycle But it's the how gillifist never dies

It's interesting that you would go to that before Like a polyp that most people would understand And like when you're talking about it. Yeah. Because whenever I think Apollops, I'm like, oh, the jellyfish is immortal life cycle. That is so insane. Like when they don't die, they become a polyp and then become a jellyfish later on. What is the first thing you think of when you think of Apollo?

Well, I just think of like it's a body. Yeah. Yeah. A polypap? I'm like a cyst or like, I don't know the exact terminology. On the body. Yeah, like a tumor or something. That's why it's kind of like a little, like isn't that like the default thing that

people think of not jellyfish? That's why it's confusing to me that a nurse. I feel like for me, I thought of this always this is the most shocking time I ever saw when I was like, what? They don't have to die? I guess what's so confusing. They can live forever? No, I get it.

It's just confusing that you, you know, because you're the nurse here. Yeah, you are. Relative to us. I'm not. I'm a bio student, I guess. Relative to us, you're the nurse here. I guess. And so, like, your first thought of a polyp was like a jellyfish.

It's wild. That's the most magical version of it. It's the most magical version of a polypip. I've got anal polyps. You got jellyfish in your eyes? You got jellyfish in your ass? Let me see. Jellyfish polyps?

Let me see. That's so invasive You got one of those cave flashlights And then you're fucking stuck Oh my God, can imagine dying upside down? Can you imagine dying upside down And somebody else is cavernous assholes? I've seen cavernous assholes before

And I can't imagine them being Cambridness asses I've seen in some asses before It's crazy Yo, I've never like I had a colonoscopy Like last year I thought like I was like dying or something and I was just like I never

I never thought I would see the day where I'd see it's silent it's crazy it's upsetting it's it's too much information it's very weird it's like because I've seen stuff before like medical but like not yourself it's like the first time you've ever seen your skull like in like

a dentist oh yeah oh yeah x-rays and I'm like what the fuck that's under me it makes me angry it makes you feel like seeing my skull makes me feel like there's like a like a monster creep it like behind me all the time. Yeah.

You know what I mean? But like I can never turn around to see it because it's in the center of myself. My dentist stopped me from like ripping my face apart so I can see it. Ah! No way. That really? That's what it looks like? Let me see.

And they're like no, no, no. And then they put like morphine or whatever. They said you would like if I give you a ketamine. This is off subject. But you know what I saw recently for the first time? This is not a surprise necessarily because I haven't seen. South Park is a really long-running show. It's a big show.

I've never seen all of it. What do you mean by that? I've never watched all of South Park. I recently watched the whole series. Wait, what do you mean like an episode? No, no, no. I mean like the series. I mean, like, I haven't seen every episode of South Park.

I, that's, I think that's, well, like, are you, like, to a certain extent, like, like, uh, like, uh, I've seen like maybe like, maybe five complete seasons. I think that's, I think that's, I think that's kind of. That's relatively normal, though. that South Park, I think I've said this before, that to me, it kind of not worth watching after

the imagination land. That's just me, though. That is the peak of the series. Yeah, to me, it kind of went downhill after where they just did the formulaic, where it just kind of became very... Serialized? It came like this podcast. We're like, hey, what happened?

What happened this week? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they just write around what happened. And then I was like, it's not really that. It still has funny moments, but it ain't... Yeah, yeah. Even back then is what I'm saying. Like I think like I haven't seen all of it, right?

Right, right. I saw, I didn't even see the episode. I just saw the song for the first time. The, the 20, 2012 jacket in it in San Diego. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I just heard that for the first time ever. I've never heard that before, straight up.

Yeah. Like, not even like a reference to it. I completely forgot that happened. I know. That fucking guy went nuts. Yeah. Because I saw, I saw clips on Twitter constantly of like out of context. South Park clips where like

Kyle and and and and and Stan are like talking and the the phrase like well when you wind up naked and jacket in San Diego you know fucking and I'm like what the fuck is that? I saw it a couple months ago and I was like I don't know I guess I just haven't seen that episode and I saw it again like twice this week and I was like what the fuck is this I have to look this up yeah and I saw that song and like the context for it and I'm like oh yeah that's right that dude who made the 202012 documentary lost it that was awesome It just did.

That's awesome. Got naked and started jacket in San Diego. It was so old to me. Like it didn't even register as like a reference to anything. I thought it was just like nonsense. That was great. That era to me. It's a great song too, by the way.

I don't remember the song. You remember we going? No, I don't know how it sounds. It's... Hi, I'm Dr. Jay Goodman and I'm the host of Beyond the Script. A podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, All About Women's Health, Amy Lynn Safatee Valentine, a CVS pharmacist from Long Island, New York,

talked about just how often women approach pharmacists with questions about menopause symptoms. When it comes to patients that are really suffering with the symptoms of perimenopause or menopause, it's really important for them to be evaluated by their OBGYN, because there are a lot of prescription medications that can help with that. If someone is really opposed to taking medications, there are a few lifestyle modifications that they can do, like avoiding caffeine and spicy foods, trying to stay hydrated, have a regular sleep cycle, get some exercise. Those are all things that could kind of help to limit the symptoms. Here are the full conversation, plus so many fantastic insights into all the stages of life when it comes to women's health. Listen to Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy, wherever you get your podcasts.

For delicious meals, you could go out to eat. or spend hours in the kitchen. Or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Yeah, you heard me. Marie Callender's classic chicken Parmesan bowl is delicious with scratch-made marinera sauce, creamy mozzarella cheese, and no preservatives. It's high in protein with 30 grams per serving.

Marie Callender's, what having it all tastes like. It's very like barbershop quartet. Oh, really? Yeah, so it's like it's weirdly, I'm going to jack it in I'm going to go out jacking it in San Diego That's kind of

It's like a Foxwoods Yeah Commercial I watched the whole series Because I showed Lily I showed Lily The episode with the Chris special with the fucking

The Blood Orgy I don't remember that one She never saw that episode of it The Blood Orgy Yeah with the When Kyle became the Antichrist And then he got possessed by the devil then he like fucking had a blood orgy after the fucking

When the fuck was this? It's like season eight or something like that. How do I not remember this? And I remember she's like I really want to watch this show and I'll say the beginning of it's kind of rough. But once you get to like season five season eight is insane. That is crazy. I think though that run of South Park is insane.

Season three is my favorite. Yeah. It has fucking Chim Pokemon, which is one of my favorite episodes. I like those episodes but they look rough. The corn. It doesn't matter that they look rough. I'm not going to South Park. It's charming for it actually.

But I think there's moment. When it was fucking like, when it was like a construction paper, I think that was one was out of space. Season one's rough only because the voices aren't there yet. It's funny. Yeah. Season one is impossible to hear, man. It's not worth watching.

It's really kind of rough. It's like the Simpsons. Have you ever seen? Season one, the Simpsons actually has some good moments. But it's also not worth. It's not, it's not peak Simpsons even. Yeah. Season two.

Yeah. No, season two is usually when things kind of, it's really rare that I feel like the first season of a show is the best. Yeah. Rick and Morty is really the only example that I can think of actually. Yeah, I think season one and season two

are like the peak. It's like they were ready. Like also like I was just watching Cobra Kai. Like it's like they just spent it was one of those things where they wrote a script and they spent a time revising it so everything connects perfectly.

And I was just like it was one of those things where I'm like, wow. Did you finish all serious? This is, uh, I just watched episode one of season six. So because I was like I needed to go to bed. It was all fucking five and I'm like,

god damn. Why am I up? But I at least, wanted to see what the fuck is how what's happening what's going to happen and how is how is the villain going to be reintroduced and it was that it was kind of very unceremoniously you know it was like it was like but anyway uh yeah yeah it's uh how did did you start when did you start watching south park from the beginning or what did you do uh i think i kind of just skipped around because i just knew that it wasn't um it's not a serialized show it's not like a long it's not like a plot that like

goes episode to episode right so i think like generally how I watched it was like when it came to streaming services I would just like pick a thumbnail or like an episode that sounded interesting. It was more like how I would watch YouTube videos. I see. Then it was like a show. But I've seen the first season.

Yeah. You know. Season one is I enjoy all of it. I don't hate it, but it is, it's not the best part. My stride is definitely season of which is about five, four, five, six. Interesting. Which one was the World of Warcraft one? That's, well, that's like season 10, 12.

That's a great episode. It's a little bit. It's a fantastic episode. episode's insane. I love the fucking, also the one where they're playing with the ninja weapons. That's, that is the first episode of the show I ever saw. Really? That was first episode I ever saw.

And I was like, this is crazy. I've been watching it since, uh, we didn't even have Comedy Central yet. Like, it was, uh, it wasn't like, it wasn't basic cable yet. And, um, my neighbors came over like, have you fucking seen this show? Like, South Bar, like, there's this kid called Kenny who's like drinking gasoline. I remember him describing like, they're like camping. And, uh, and I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? And so then we had to like get it in different means.

I'm fucking old. I wish I could remember the first episode of South Park I saw. I don't think I had with the shirkin. It was a moment. Not Kenny, it was butters. Butters. That was.

It was brilliant because that was when they were doing, they're in their imaginative state where they're all buffed. Like, and then it fucking just pans over to like, what's his name, Professor Chaos? Yeah. And then smash cut to him as a kid with it in his eye.

I fucking, um, yeah. Great. There's so many good fucking moments. I think the first time that I, like, clicked with it where I was like, I think I'll go out of my way to watch this. Yeah. Because sometimes when I was a kid, I would watch it, but like not to pay attention to it, it was more just like I knew that I wasn't allowed to watch it.

Yeah. And so like when I figured it out and I could, like, I figured out a way to get past like the safety lock. Yeah. Because it was like, obviously it's a birthday. So like, I put the birthday in. And I was like, oh, sick, cool. So I would like watch it at like one volume at like midnight around. Nice.

Loaded. Did you guys ever put the towel under the door? No, I would watch it really low, though. And I would turn it. I've never did that. Yeah. I put the towel under the door because I was just like, they might see the light. All sorts of shit.

I was, that was sneaky. But I got that was, but I wasn't paying attention to it. I think the first time I was like the, the, what is the, uh, let's fighting love? Yeah, that's the ninja episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's fighting love got me where I was just like, okay, I'll. That's fucking excellent. That song.

Protect my bowels. That song is fucking bowels. is fucking amazing. Every single time. Protect my bowels. It's so funny. Because if it was just protect my balls, it wouldn't be as funny.

Yeah. And he says it the straightway, protect my bowels. Delivery is everything, dude. Delivery is everything. Did you see the live performance of that that they did? No. I didn't even know that that was a thing.

They'd nail it. Protect my pals. So let's fight. They just had like so much fun back then. And then, you know, after a certain while, I get it. It's like I'm at this podcast. Imagine like there's a podcast I listen to. They're on their 15th year.

And but they're still going strong. Yeah. But you can tell when there's moments where like, you know, where there's like, like, but they're doing a political show. So they feel almost kind of like compelled to. Yeah. Oh my God. They're having a rough time.

They're having a rough time. But they're also being very like, okay, to not kill ourselves, we're going to just, they're going to turn up the comedy aspect of it even more. Right. And they're doing a good job of it. They're, I'm sure there's some people like, oh, how come you're making light of all this stuff? It's like, because we don't want to kill ourselves, bro. Like, what else do you want us to do? Oh, you dummy.

Yeah, it's fucking, uh, it's a live one. I'm trying to find it. Look at fucking the crowd. No. Because they do the mic cut And just let him say it Kick out, see it Wait

That's sick Just the drop Protect my bows I love that I just I love that they understand Why that's funny Yeah

Because I can see people doing a cover of it You know what I mean Just missing it You'd be like protect my balls And it's It doesn't It ain't, you're not doing it. There's definitely people that miss those cues of what makes something special.

Yeah. That delivery is so perfect. It's my pals. Fantastic. I just look like, because I look like, like English is awesome. Like it's like it's, it's, that shit has made me laugh for so long of my life. It is funny. That shit has just made me.

That's why I think because of them is why I think Chinese just sounds funny. Because I associated with South Park. And I'm like, this is racist, but like, God damn is it funny. The city walk guy? That's kind of a-shy-walk, yeah. That guy. Dude, that episode, that episode, when I found out that he was fucking a white guy and he was making Kenny go.

Oh, yeah. He had like Baltimore. Look, that episode is. That's funny. I like that, but also like, dude. That's crazy. No, the idea of butter is being like, I'm not doing anything. And it was funny.

Fucking kept bother him. And then he pissed on all over the room. And I'm like, Butters. He was like, guys, it's not me. Like, I know, I know what this looks like. He jumps out of window and tries to kill himself because everyone's bothering him so much. It's a good.

This is peak show. It's a good episode because it takes, it does, it, it's, you know that that Skinner's episode that everybody hates? Yeah, exactly what I was. I was literally just thinking that. I love that episode because they know that and they're just like, fuck it. It just like, to me, there's a little bit of, uh, it could be also that there's, They're grown ass men.

There's certain things that they wanted to have an explanation for it to be like, oh, we're not racist. This guy is. And what I mean by that, because they also did a token is in token. It's Tolkien. That is so funny to be. You know what's crazy?

Some of the stuff I've seen before where subtitles it says that. It says token, but I don't know if it's updated. You know, I don't know if they're on purpose. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know if that's true. No,

I've seen some stuff. People would have said that. I looked at older episodes, right? and it's probably on streaming services, right? So it's probably because of the existence of the stuff now. It could be a meta joke. Yeah. I don't understand what's this.

The token joke is so weird to me because of the way people interpret it. What do you mean? Because I feel like people are like, oh, they're trying to like pretend like they're not racist. Like they know that they named the character token black. It's not. The joke is that this, that Tolkien is a joke. Yeah, it's not his name. But there are people who are like.

like convinced it's like oh they're like they're trying to like shield themselves from criticism i i i think i think i think i don't think they definitely they definitely retroactively say some things they like they like they they put on their like oh yeah this is like this is age poorly because every person that's different no no no no i know i know i know yeah but like everyone does that they make stuff along they're like oh yeah this is like we get it you know times at a time we were probably wrong about this some of their points now we're still the al go they did with the algor they did with the algor they all right in that episode but well yeah you were way better choice. Sorry. Yeah. I feel like it's not to me it's not anything to be like maybe if there's

people that are upset or they would accuse them of like going woke or some shit. I just think it's a this is the title. I put it just like this. I used to be in a punk band when I was 16 called the pedophiles. Spelled differently though. But it's still the name is the pedophiles when you read it out and you say it. Right. It's fucking kind of crazy. So we've thought about doing a reunion and making some new songs and we're like we're old-ass men we don't want to be called the pedophiles so let's just like call ourselves the peds right in a way that it's not like we've gone soft or woke it's just it's kind of at a certain point it's like you know we've done this joke to death already yeah let's just kind of like move on no this nigg isn't actually his name is Tolkien not it's not to me it's fun I still think

it's funny that is a funny right funny thing to do after all these years like after all these years but I wouldn't say that it's just, I feel like it's a two burn one stone kind of a thing. Like, why would I name my son? We can do a good joke but also be like, nah, nigger,

you guys are racist. Why would I name? The dad is like, why would I name my son totally? It's really funny. It's handled really well. Look, anyway,

if I were talking too much about South Park, I feel like, but we'll move on in a little bit. But like, what was it? Oh, no,

I was just going to say, it would be fucking incredible if they had that much foresight, like say, because you said you saw media with it actually spelled out that way. If there's actual proof of like old DVDs, which I don't think I own any South Park DVDs, I think it was I ripped everything.

I had, I had DVDs a long time ago. That would be the test. Look at the DVDs and look at the, the closed captioning in the DVDs and see if you can find, because there's plenty of episodes with them in there. No, but this is what I'm saying.

It's like, Hi, I'm Dr. J. Goodman, host of Beyond the script, the podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer the health questions you didn't even know you could ask at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, we are diving into gut health with CVS pharmacist Victoria Motola, who explains why so many of us live with stomach issues we should not accept as normal.

A lot of what I see is just like chronic bloating, chronic stomach aches. Like I get a stomach ache every time that I eat and it just becomes like a lifestyle where, oh yeah, you know, I just have a stomachache every day. or I'm constantly feeling like gassy. And all of those things are not something that generally, if you have a healthy gut, you should be living with. So that's when we deep dive. We deep dive into your medication. We deep dive into your OTC medication.

And then at that point, we can probably identify something that we can change. Hear the full conversation, plus some fascinating facts about how gut health affects so much more than just your stomach on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy and IHeart Radio. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. For delicious meals, you could go out to eat or spend hours in the kitchen. Or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Yeah, you heard me. Marie Callender's classic chicken parmesan bowl is delicious

with scratch-made marinera sauce, creamy mozzarella cheese, and no preservatives. It's high in protein with 30 grams per serving. Marie Callenders, what having it all tastes like. his names, if they have subtitles in those old DVDs, it's going to be token black. Right. It is. Of course it is,

but I'm saying, What if? It would be awesome. Imagine. The idea that they went back, I don't know if this is true, but if they did go back and like in the subtitles for every time, they probably could easily do that.

They just have like an AI go like every time token is mentioned just like say it's token. 100%. But like that would be cool. That's awesome. I love that they, that. if that's true and they did do that that's an amazing effort to go

through it would be right but anyway what is this Michael basketball Jordan basketball Peterson love it I love that shit Brody and he says hey all I've been on a stand-up kick lately I want to know your opinion

if you could look at a comedian stat spreadsheet so like the stat spread I guess this is a very specific what are the stats I want to hear this what would be what would the different stats be

on top of that are there any skills that are so essential that you would have to have it maxed out. A comedian's stat sheet. I can't even imagine. Wait, hold on. There's just charisma. Like, yeah, it's just charisma.

They're storytelling. There's impressions. Well, that's not. That those aren't stats. Yeah, they are. There's crowd work. I think he means, like, stats like in like an RPG. But like I think, I think you're interpreting it.

But I think relative to like stats that a comedian would need. Right. He's, he's, um, because obviously like agility and stuff. Like it's not. Yeah, you don't need strength and necessary. Like what would a comedian's stat spread be tailored to a comedian? Yeah, not like to a human. I see what you're saying.

Like, because agility would be like, what, nothing? Like crowd work. What to call it? Improv. That's kind of the same in some way. Well, not really, I guess.

Oh, like, because, you know, you can be good at improv and not good at crowdwork. Exactly. That's true. But I get, they get fall into the same place for the most work. That works. I feel like they do off. That is improv. Yeah, they would work.

I mean, you could be terrible at, uh. Hettling stage presence Going Roasting people There's stage presence There's There's facial expressions

Yeah There's a But like isn't that So I'm confused To this exercise Are we not like Are we gonna build like Are we making

Are you making Are you making a brand new Like say this is a universe Of like Comedians They So we're making a stat of a comedian And different comedians

Will have Different stats based on the stats that we made for like comedians so like there's a improv stat so we're doing that I mean I get because otherwise I look at like because what's a normal RPG statute this is a bunch of stuff that wouldn't apply

with like string decks constitution well like dexterity dexterity I think would be pretty good yeah Joe Rogan stop in the stool with his maximum dexterity because dexterity is like also like you know fall into like accuracy like you can do charisma

intelligence. I wouldn't put the Christian one. So faith. Oh yeah. Faith? But like if you want to like, we can do the other one.

The Christian comedian would be interesting. There are some. Yeah. No, but I mean like a like a Templar. I mean if they're actually funny, I would be really impressed. That's impossible.

And if I can hear them through their fucking helmet too. Yeah. I know the age does crowd work What do you guess God bless you and welcome to tonight's show Anybody got any stories Hallelujah Hallelujah, praise God

Are you all ready to this vault? Before we start today's set I'd like to say grace Yeah exactly I can pull out a sword and kneel And the glowing sword He kneels into the floor He heals everybody in the room

I mean, I would definitely go to that. I would go. I would definitely, like, I need your power. So I'm going to jump on his bandwagon. Yeah. I need that kind of strength. If I saw that dude actually do some type of power thing, I would 100 mission to be like, well, I'm obviously going to become a Templar. Like, why would they not do that?

I'm done. I'm done with all this bullshit. I'm going to get powers in wings, spectral wings and kill people. Spectral wings. Fuck you guys. Fuck your free thought. I'm a God boy now. I'm a God boy.

All right. So, new, new stats for a comedian. So you said, what will the stats be? I'm kind of. So I'm assuming every comedian needs at least charisma to a degree. So charisma will be one that will be carried over. But like, so for you, new. Because think of every comedian, right?

Think of a comedian. Because there's like, there's charisma. They're storytelling, right? Yes. So will storytelling be a stat? Is that a stat? Yeah, sure. Whatever.

I'm sure. This is important. So like, well, yeah, storytelling. We could do agility because, like, there are physical comedians like Jim Carrey and, like, their ability to contort their face and shit. So that could be, like, physicality.

Jilly's good. Jilly's good. And in which, and in this case, like, where would, like, where would a comedian like Joe Rogan be? Oh, man. So, so you, if there's any points of intelligence, you fucking, you completely take them

out. Intelligence is gone. We're going to min max, Joe. And that would be all agility. Just, I think it's just all agility. I like saying

physicality more than agility. I don't like agility for Joe Rogan. Fine. I like physicality. Whatever. No, because physicality kind of implies a lot. Like what?

Like what does it not apply? Like Jim Carrey? Yeah. I don't want to give fucking Joe Rogan Jim Carrey's stats. I'm like, dude Because like this

I don't I don't think Joe Rogan could do a cartwheel You know I think you can absolutely do a cartwheel Who can't do a cartwheel? He's extremely limber And like

All he does is like All he does is train And do and Oh he's a he's a jujitsu dude Right isn't he like actually a fighter He might not understand He might not believe in circles Yeah

While he does a cartwheel somehow But like he'll be able to do a cartwheel Right Right He just doesn't know what it is Yeah He doesn't know what a cart is he doesn't know what a wheel is.

But he knows how to put his hands on the ground and carry his dumb legs over. You ever think about that? Why do they call it a cart wheel? Why do they call it a car wheel? That's weird. I'm not a card or a wheel. I've never seen a fucking car in my life. I can slap walls in half.

Car wheels are everywhere, but I've never seen a cart. You're right, Joe. Joe, you're absolutely right. Do you want a seat on Doge? Pull it up. Would you like to have a seat on? All right, I'll pull it up, General. Jamie, Jamie, pull my dick on your mouth.

So there's a reason why it's called a cartwheel, Joe. No, I don't go to that website. Not that one. That's a liberal one. That's the liberal one. That's the liberal cuck one. Yeah, the Google, don't go to Google. It's liberal cuck.

Go to LiveLeak. It's so sad seeing it. Go to RFK.com. You can't trust, you can't trust Google. You got to, Jamie, you got to go to stormfront.com for the angry information. I got it. Again, Joe. Okay.

Yes, Jamie. So, um. I'll kill you if you don't listen I just Andrew Schultz under the table fucking slobbing him just sucking him Gok

Gok Bro That's fucking Jamie Jamie turn to sound I can't hear I can't hear I'm

Turn on I can't I can't Yeah Hey It's Mr. Stloon Thanks for

Thanks for Bigger to be on the soul Shane Gill is just trying to be respectful I just Get back from killing boogie two night

Twice Twice I killed him twice He resurrected I got him again I twit his Duff his fat stupid wheelchair buddy I never cared about you until I saw that you're Amaga.

You're awesome, man. You're really awesome. It's really cool. Yes, I heard you've been gocking him, Donald Trump and me, actually. I've stuck my fish here at Dixon, my day. That's pretty great. So you want to get started on me now? No, you're scary.

Take a break. Andrew's like, no, please, no, please. No, please. He's upset. Oh, no. No. He's like holding him by his own. Grum is like a cat.

No. He's like a baby with a, it's like a baby with a pacifier. Ew, that gross, like, start, start up. I hate that. All right, that's enough, Andrew Schultz. God, the sound of a baby crying like that really pisses me off. It makes me not want to have babies. Yeah, it really is the main deterrent.

I like the idea of adoption and, like, adopting them at, like, four or something. Yeah. They already get the world touched them, you know? They already been, like, influenced by the world around. Yeah. It's like a cat. You can't get an old cat. You can't get an old cat.

Yeah, you got to get a kitten. That's kind of... Same with dogs, really. Like, I don't know, but like... No, no, I don't think that. You can get some... You can rehabilitate dogs pretty... It depends on how traumatized they are.

Yeah, if they're, like, been hit with brooms every day. They're fucked, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can't... That sucks. So, training a dog has to happen really early in their lives, man. It's, like, really not easy. I didn't fucking ask. That's...

That's... Yeah, comedians just stats. Joe's fucking retarded. All right. I think we got it. I think we got it. Whatever. Let's move on.

Sorry. We didn't know. I genuinely don't know how to answer that question. That's a hard question. It's actually hard. It's easier to... That's like a whole extra ammo. You can construct.

Not bad. You know? I'm not saying we're going to do that. I'm saying if we were to do it. That would have to be that. That would have to be that. Okay. So let's see.

I had to reload the page. I've been thinking about taking over the comedy scene. it's an arrogant fucking thing to say yeah you know thinking about winning taking over I'm thinking about becoming I feel like if I if we just start doing stand-up because I just want to be

I want to hop the gate of the comedy gate you know there's like a gate of that oh because there's like many a podcast that I imagine that we could be guest on or at least have people and like associate with but they're kind of like oh how many years

have you been doing comedy like it's like that like I still run to that show. I'll listen to some podcast. I'm like, oh, what do you think is the standard like until you should maybe get a special? Well, in 10, 15 years. And I'm like, you're fucking out of your mind. Maybe a long time ago. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, you're fucking out of your mind and still think that. They're handing that shit out now.

They are. I mean, Brendan Schaub is the one that really, he really made, I think, people double down and be like, no, that's why you need 10.15. I'm like, no, Brendan Schaub's retarded. He's a bad example of like someone who got a special way too soon. There's some people who are fucking

I'm going to say this. This may sound, you may not even believe me, but I imagine if you spend a year writing something, your special would be leagues above a Brendan Schaub. Oh, I know this. Right. And it's like, I'm not even that particular, I'm not even particularly self-confident in that regard,

but like Brandon Schaub is so low that it's not even, it's not even a question. Yeah. So I don't think he could do that. Not, I'm not saying he's like an insult. I'm just saying it's, you know. Hi, I'm Dr. J. Goodman, host of Beyond the script. the podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer the health questions you didn't even know you could ask at the pharmacy counter.

In this episode, we are diving into gut health with CVS pharmacist Victoria Motola, who explains why so many of us live with stomach issues we should not accept as normal. A lot of what I see is just like chronic bloating, chronic stomach aches. Like I get a stomach ache every time that I eat. And it just becomes like a lifestyle where, oh, yeah, you know, I just, I have a stomach kick every day. Or I'm constantly feeling like gassy. And all of those things are not something that generally, if you have a healthy gut, you should be living with.

So that's when we deep dive. We deep dive into your medication. We deep dive into your OTC medication. And then at that point, we can probably identify something that we can change. Hear the full conversation, plus some fascinating facts about how gut health affects so much more than just your stomach on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS. A podcast from CVS Pharmacy and IHeartRadio. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. For delicious meals, you could go out to eat or spend hours in the kitchen.

Or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Yeah, you heard me. Marie Callender's classic chicken parmesan bowl is delicious with scratch-made marinera sauce, creamy mozzarella cheese, and no preservatives. It's high in protein with 30 grams per serving. Marie Callenders, what having it all tastes like. You're not like a writer, you know what I mean? Comedy-wise.

You're funny, interpersonally. Yeah, I don't think I can be a comic writer at all. I've never, I have no confident in that comedy. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I think even you could. I think you could do better than I finished shot. Even you went out there and being like, you're all gay.

There's all there mad. You gave me like Muppet S mannerism. Like, I was going to grouch. I do that with people. People sometimes. You just look at her. Like I'm looking around. I go down.

I get in someone's face like a fucking ape. Look, man. That is fucking crazy. You're gay. At a certain point, comedy is so hypnotic that if people think you're funny, you're,

it's like, it's so weird seeing people giggling before anything funny has even been said. Yeah. And I'm like, whoa, these people are fucking revved up just for like the idea that you're about to say something funny. Have you guys, have you guys seen to think of Bill Byrd,

like Philly doesn't make it fun of people in the Philly. Oh, that's a classic. Yeah. And he's thriving. To me, he's like glowing. That's how you bomb. That's,

to me, if I bomb, I like the idea of telling them their game. Zero grace. Yeah. It's my favorite stuff. It's like in Securo when you absorb all the coins after you kill people.

That's what's happening to Billberg. He's like, yes. Sure, I guess. Yes. I'm so happy. He didn't kill him.

He bombed. Well, no, he's funny how he was making them angry. And he just, he was loving it. It's my favorite stuff. I do,

It's like Larry David's stuff too Like there's stories about him like Going up on stage he would tell a joke And then if he could if he could feel that the crowd wasn't getting He'd be like I don't need you guys I don't need you people He would just walk He just walk away

In that context It's fucking hilarious Yes I actually understand that Because I remember thinking like Oh it's like what an asshole But if you are bombing And they're actually like And heckling you

I'm like oh absolutely I'm like Yeah yeah If people aren't receptive to my jokes And I'm bombing in that way I'm not gonna be a cut Immediately But if I see

like the energy shift. I'm like, yeah, fuck you, dude. The joke that he was talking about... You're not even funny, bitch. The joke that he was talking about was so specific because I remember it's just like, that's funny, but not like a stand-up ha-ha funny. It's like clever and amusing.

So the idea that he would get indignant about people not getting it is so funny because most people wouldn't get it. I think that's Larry David's personality. And he was just getting just right. Indignation. Like, I think his joke was like, do you mind if I use the two form

with you? Do you know what the two form is, right? No. like two Usted And the whole point was like Usted is more formal And two is more casual I feel comfortable around you

Even even Brutus used the two form Or like Caesar used the two form After Brutus stabbed him Because A2 Bruté Which is like a way form Which is like such a casual way to Talk to somebody who killed you Which is like so

That's so specific That is such a bad joke It's not funny That is a written joke That is like That is like when you wrote somebody This guy can write. This guy can't tell jokes.

Exactly. That is what that is. To me, that was like bars. You know what I mean? Like, oh, metaphor,

it's deep. Let me, let's, and then you have one of those assholes like try to decipher what it means. But that's not like, you don't, first,

first, no, listen, I'm not going to be. Imagine starting like that dude. That was his opener. Like, his opener was like,

can I, do you mind if I use the two form with you? Because I feel comfortable with you people. And if people, and if there's, it's been two form. Like, fuck you people.

I would love I don't fuck did he think he was talking to He thought he was talking to a paper And he was writing it down to He was gonna be like good job He thought he was speaking to not oh A you have to have a specific sense of humor B you have to be educated enough to know that that's even a thing Three you have to know A to Boutet

That's another thing Lerald I can't believe you're doing this Absolutely do not know that I guarantee you most people do not know that Yeah I only know that because there's a fucking achievement at Halo 3 that he started and I looked it up. No way. I mean that is technically I knew what it was before. Yeah, that is a way to that some people

I heard the phrase but that's something that's a sudden that kept. It's like, oh, cool, and then you move on with your day because that does nothing to keep you alive or help to stain you. It's just so fun. I would love to see because what's, what's wild about that is there must have been audience. There must have been rooms that got it. You know what I mean? Maybe not. Maybe that was fresh. I feel like it's just like there's a couple of people. Even if they got it, I feel like they'd be like, oh. It's like a Like it's not like

It's like a You don't laugh at that It's like a Yeah There are many times I've heard like clever jokes I'm like I get it Yeah

And that's why you A little nose exhale Yeah Just like Yeah It's like you hear a bar And you're like Oh it's pretty decent

You know Not like Oh my God It's amazing It's a I like I like it I like it

Four frames of him being like to be formed with you guys Fuck you People are Downloading it and someone's like That's great As they're trying to process what's happening I think that's ironically very funny That is funny

Four frames is a fourth of a second That is insane That is insane He's just I love that That's funny as fuck, actually. All right, let's, uh... I love it. I love how fucking dumb people are.

Did we answer? What the fuck was that? I don't know. Did we say something? People hate on me because I'm a fat. I'm completely... I'm sorry, guys. Yeah, fuck, Heiler!

Where are we? I don't think I picked one because I was scrolling through because I had to refresh the page. Oh, yeah, you said refresh the page. That's right. So Roach Dog Jr. wrote in. He says, this isn't a complaint on Chris, as he usually picks entertaining questions.

But what if Derek and Sweene picked slash read the questions once? Perhaps an extra ammo idea. I don't know. This is what I do. You know what I mean? I figured this is my role on the show. Like I don't really have a problem. It's not difficult to do.

Well, here's the thing. The only thing that, um, uh, the prospect of that sounds interesting because the only because I want the questions that he would pick. There's a part of it. There's a part of it that like, say the, the quality of the question, listeners, listeners, the quality of the questions you know are going to be massively downgraded. However, they also understand that that's comedy. So everything with a heart is something that we've already read.

Like I, there's some people playing some good money that it probably just says, why are you gay? There is a lot of that. And I saw one, I saw one a couple weeks ago that stuck with me. It was just meep, meep. But that also, that's magical. These are so, these are bad. And I feel like... I do my best.

I feel like... Let's see what he's got. Let's see what he's got. I can't prepare them in advance because sometimes like I try to feel like how things are going. And he's like, oh, there's a vibe going on. Or there's a question about this. Let me go to that one. So it's kind of a...

I don't know. It's a little tedious, but... Okay, this is not much of a question. You're not anywhere near the microphone, by the way. I'm looking. Okay. There you go. Greeting gay lords on my phone.

What's his name? Connor does... the desolate Canadian. Greetings to the gay lords on my phone. I got to meet a cute guy back in October during Comic Con. Got ourselves a real good connection and we're wearing a entire fallout suit in Boston Pizza. What do you call it? In the Boston pizza?

Is that quite literally what it says? That is what that says. So it's going good? How do I not fuck it up and whatever? will what to go and whatever we'll update soon so how do you not fuck it up just not fuck it up

wait hold on because I am reading this and it is it is kind of incomprehensible I don't yeah so the question is and I'll read it again just because it is

it's not going to be much better as I read it let's see Connor the Desil Canadian run and he says greetings to you gay wads on my phone I got to meet this cute guy back in October during Comiccon

got ourselves a real good connection with me wearing an entire fallout vault suit in the Boston pizza so it's going good how do I not fuck it up and whatever will update when available

I man there's uh so I don't know what's the person's name Connor the desolate Canadian Connor the desolate Canadian so okay Connor you Connor you met

so you met this guy during Comic Con that's fucked up in the Boston pizza so interesting so you met so during he judged me so hard

The only thing I was confused is saying, so during Comic Con, meaning that it wasn't at Comic Con, but it was during the thing was going on and at the Boston Pizza is where y'all met, right? I guess.

Wearing an entire fallout suit in the Boston pizza. But is the Boston, like the Boston pizza? Or is that a thing? Is that a reference to? Is that a... That's what I mean. It's not a proper noun.

So I don't know if it's like a... If it's, you know what I mean? It kind of sounds like you met him on a pizza. And who's wearing it? Got ourselves a real good. connection with me wearing, oh, you wearing it, an entire Fallout suit. And so I would say, this is when, like, say, you know that one person, like, was, like, very thorough with their question or whatever the fuck.

In this, this would have been good to have a little bit more. Like, this is a little bit more than I want to know. But I'm assuming you all bonded over Fallout. That's why you mentioned it. I guess. Yeah, I'm assuming this is why, that's why it was mentioned. Or he's just bragging saying I was wearing this drip and then this dude's like, hey, it was good.

Let me suck you off. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, just, it's... Was he like a degenerate dude that was like, hey, you look fucking hot. Let me suck your dick. I don't know. I barely know how to give relationship advice, let alone... We have a good connection.

You know, like, I don't know. It's not even a relationship. You just met the guy. So, like, I don't know. It's not really... How does he not fuck it up? I mean, to me, it's just... I think, to me, the...

The bar is in hell lately. Real, here's real advice. Like, instead of being a fucking dumbass, real advice is I feel like this is the best advice because a lot of people will try to not be themselves I'm like no no no be your fucking self

yeah be yourself be extra yourself in fact no be more yourself than you normally would be that's fucking up already what do you mean by that by being extra which is never a good thing uh look at

Connor be yourself and if say the connection if there's not if if things fall apart well then It was not a good idea. If you know, it's like,

you don't, you don't want to be someone who you're not just to keep this connection going. So what I mean is like, say, say my boy, he actually just got a relationship.

And he didn't have to pretend to be nothing. He's just like, I'm a fucking nerd ass, dumbass in the art. And, uh, he's dating some chick that like,

I don't know. Joseph said she looks like a stripper. But like she's fucking like, cool, dark humor in the Simpsons and shit like that. Nothing. Let's give you a head nod. Yeah.

And I'm like, he gave me a head nod. He didn't have to, he pulled, he pulled a baddie by just being his authentic nerd as bitch self, you know? Shout out to my home. It's shockingly easy. Yeah. So I'm just like, you're already a fucking nerd wearing a fallout fucking jumpsuit. He clearly, I'm assuming that dude's in the fallout.

He was, he probably was at the con too, but I do the pizza thing. I'm assuming that's what all that is. Just hydric crazies until like three, four months into the dating and then reveal that. That's a good idea. Yeah. Forget everything I said. Oh, stupid. Yeah, honestly.

That was dumb. Don't, don't fucking. I let him talk because he deserves that. He deserves the right to do that. But it's gay what he said. Yeah. Don't be gay, gay guy. Don't be gay.

Don't be his version of gay. Your version of gay is wrong, but like better. Yeah. So here's the thing. Next encounter, just fuck his butt. That's it. Like go straight for the butt stuff. Like, like, come over.

Like, they'll be like what's going on. Fuck his butt. Come over. They'll be like, like, the to chill. Full stop. Let's say. Hey, I'm here for butt. Hi, I'm Dr. Jake Goodman, host of Beyond the Script, the podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer the health questions you didn't even know you could ask at the pharmacy counter.

In this episode, we are diving into gut health with CVS pharmacist Victoria Motola, who explains why so many of us live with stomach issues we should not accept as normal. A lot of what I see is just like chronic bloating, chronic stomach aches. Like I get a stomach ache every time that I eat. And it just becomes like a lifestyle where, oh, yeah, you know, I just, I have a stomach kick every day. Or I'm constantly feeling like gassy. And all of those things are not something that generally, if you have a healthy gut, you should be living with. So that's when we deep dive. We deep dive into your medication. We deep dive into your OTC medication. And then at that point, we can probably identify something that we can change. Here the full conversation, plus some fascinating facts about how gut health affects so much more than just your stomach on Beyond the Script, a podcast from

CVS Pharmacy and IHeart Radio. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. For delicious meals, you could go out to eat or spend hours in the kitchen. Or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Yeah, you heard me. Marie Callender's classic chicken parmesan bowl is delicious with scratch-made marinera sauce, creamy mozzarella cheese, and no preservatives. It's high in protein with 30 grams per serving. Marie Callenders, what having it all tastes like. Period. What's the next question? You got one? Yeah, you got one? Yeah, yeah. Derek wept for there was no more cock to suck. Hello Huckleberry Finn and two John, two John jims. Do you think if there were other legitimate races, sort of like lizard people orcs,

would have, would they have been genocided by now or would they still be around? No shot of lizard. No shot. Are they powerful? Orks would be. It depends on a lot. Yeah. Because it's like, depends on how quick they have kids.

Oh, that is true. Yeah. I didn't even think about that. Yeah. Because like humans, we just ate fairly fast. But like,

orcs and everything just state like a lot. Like goblins and orcs. It's like, did they come up alongside humans? Like, did they come up alongside humans? Because at that point, I don't think we could have made them a stink.

Right? Because we were all like, yeah, We were all kind of in the same place. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't think we could have made them. The thing is I think,

I think, I don't have been, Neanderthals kind of. They'd be so much mixed race things in general. They'd be like other mixed races and stuff like that. I'm like, Elizabeth's probably not, but like,

let's say orcs, if it's possible, yeah, they'd be like, then it'd be like in biomes. Like, biomes would be different. They'd be less humans for sure.

But like different biomes. It'd be fucking swamps. Would be full of gator niggas. Let's put it this way. We would getter niggas. Yeah. It sounds awesome phrase It sounds awesome

Yeah Let's put it this way We would have tried That's such a cool phrase I wish I could say it Yeah You can if you want Not on camera

You're Puerto Rico Yeah yeah As soon as it's off Or go black and say it Because then people won't know Who said it actually You were 23 and me And you're fucking

At least one fourth Get down to say whatever you want Yeah you're like I wouldn't be surprised by that You're like You got something in there Yeah You're like a mess

It's a mess It's very It's very effort Puerto Rico is a genetic mess. It's like it's so many. You know what he means, man. Fucking Egyptians over there. Fucking.

Yeah. Motherfuckers walking around doing that thing and shit. Yeah. Okay. I know you. I know what you are. I know you.

I've seen you before in those drawings. I've seen. Like a fucking pharaoh. You freak. Walk like an Egyptian. What a stupid song. It's really dumb. It's really dumb.

You do? Walking like an Egyptian is catchy to me. I mean, I like that chick says it. It sounds. It sounds pleasing It's really It's the verse That like there's something

Like it's bouncing I don't remember the verse actually Oh really? No Oh my God I'm sure if you sing it Like I'll be like Oh yeah

I don't remember the lyrics But I remember the melody It's like a If you can't just say A Bada da da da da da da da da Bampan bada That's a good melody

Ew Oh it's coming back to me now That's a good melody It's just fun Like it's lightheart It puts me in a good mood Every time I hear it I see

Even though it's racist Is it racist exactly? Walk like a little bit A slave It's not that bad I guess Walk like a China man Because walk like the Egyptian is like it's That's a kind of dancing

You know like cutting is a kind of dancing It's not racist It's I guess it could be It might be a little ignorant I guess I'm like I'm just right here I'll put it's a little silly I put it this way at the very least A 16 year old in 2017

Would have called it racist That's true Yeah I'll put it that way. It probably isn't that bad. Do Egyptians, would they appreciate random people walking around like, you know, I feel like they're probably like, what are you doing? It's kind of like a motherfucker's like, oh, are you from Egypt?

Do you understand me? But that's so different. That's like, I know what you mean. Where are you from? I know what you mean, but like, I'm clearly from Egypt. You are here. Oh, yeah. I would know.

I would know already. that's insane oh my god you speak English you speak a wait is that the right one English he's so racist he doesn't even know he's cold switching racism racist

racist code switching is awesome which one um the wheel of the wheel of racism Japanese he wants him to a fucking Egyptian he's like uh do you speak to English it's like

I love that. So I'm saying that there'd be, it'd be different. Some would be extinct probably because, you know, people, there's... In all likelihood, we would be extinct, probably. Maybe we were dealing with orcs and shit. It's possible. It depends. It depends.

It depends. People ain't overpowering it. But like, think of the Andrethals. We weren't overpowering the endothals and we ended up winning the fucking race against them. I think it's so different though. I feel like works are so... That's such a different class of things. It's different, but like, I seem to happen, you know?

And if there's orcs, like, there's probably other kinds of creatures that probably killed off orcs too, you know? It'd be so much diversity in, like, how things would work. There'd be insane, like, race wars, though. Like, actually, it'd be, like, crazy-ass race wars. Sure. I mean, what are you doing to an alligator man? Like, if he comes to your house right now.

We're teetering there now, so. Yeah, we already do that with the human race. So, of course, we're going to, I would just say we would try to extinct those other races, but we would do what you doing. Maybe, maybe not. If there was more variety and difference, that humanity would would probably be more solidified. Oh, so you think, like, be, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I understand what you're saying.

So, like, if we came up alongside other, like, we would be less inherently disturbed by them because we would be acclimated to their presence. Like, it would be, it would be like Skyrim, I guess. There would still be problems, 100%. I think there would be problems, though. I think humans are so easily susceptible to madmen trying to genocide everything. So I just, I don't think it would happen, but I think we would definitely try. I think we would definitely try to kill everything And it wouldn't work

There would be genocide It's 100% It'd be like people gone But it'd be It's so up in a year That's like a good question though Why don't you write a story about that? Yeah

Not to be rude like actually And find out We reach peace by actually giving birth to You know like it shouldn't happen Like the cross species Like birth shouldn't happen But then it actually works A stupid little lizard person

And this is like the hope Of uh Of like the world The future Harmony A bunch of D&D And you name it harmony And everyone's like

That's gay Kill it That is literally a dandy setting Where like there's a war Between dragons and elves Yeah And they're like we're going to Have a half

Half Dragon creature And then they murder it The elves and dragons are like Wait wait wait wait wait wait Let's kill that And then the war stops Yeah Oh well in the world

Oh I mean I guess that was good It's good It's good but it comes back as a lit It's crazy it's a crazy shit Oh it comes back as a lich It's a little It's insane Is it a baby list?

Is it a baby list? I don't know I think it's a fucking lichling Yeah a little lichling That's terrifying actually I'd assume it uses like a philacry Or some shit like a fake body So it mentally might still be a baby

But it's a dragon So it's already fucking terrifying To begin with I can't withstand more of this Yeah no more Digimon You don't have an imaginative mind It's cool You can't imagine things in front of you

It's crazy I can't imagine I can't imagine the show Progressing well It's all black I'm scared All right let's do two more Two more

Hello my Macchiato, Americano, and Dark Roast. My co-workers are the name. Okay. Milky little man. Milky little man wrote in. A little man wrote in. Hello, Maciato, Americano, and Dark Roast.

My co-worker is 56 years old who constantly cheats on his wife with prostitutes and has told some downright unnecessarily detailed stories about things he did for $20. $20? Oh, my God. He thinks like the $20. squirrel tail butt plug in his glove box. All that aside, what sort of unabashedly degenerated behavior do you think you'll be getting up to around that age?

Nothing like that probably. Man, $20. Did it say, wait, wait, wait, did I miss? The $20 squirrel girl butt plug he has in his dashboard. That's not squirrel girl, but okay. We say squirrel girl. He's not a squirrel tail in the big butt, you know. I was hoping that you're going to say, no, it actually is.

Yeah, yeah. In fact. Pull it out of your bag That stuff's interesting And it's so wide I'd be like How Practice

That stuff is interesting to me Because I'm just like damn Because 50 isn't Sometimes I mean it's old But it's not like 50's not far from us anymore You know Like I feel like you're

I don't know I feel like there's a pretty Maybe not a high chance But there's a decent chance that I feel like your wife is still kind of hot in your 50s probably especially now?

You know what fucking Mirza? Tell me how old is she? People who take care of themselves can age very well. Yeah. Yeah. Especially, you know, because one thing that really destroys people,

the news is the people that spends a lot of time in the sun. So like it fucks them when they get old. They look awful. But yeah, that's not old. Dude, like I'm pretty sure Jojo in her 50s

I'm still going to think like I'm not going to be like oh cheating what I've got to get a squirrel tail shove it in my ass let's go I don't know it sounds absurd to me but really the thing is I hope that person doesn't know

the co-worker's wife because then I'm just like damn bro yeah what a what a dilemma what like do I yeah do you insert yourself in that situation I don't know if it's a co-worker I don't know I do the classic mind my business I do the wonderful mind my business

I kind of am of that mind too Definitely didn't know them. I would 100% I'm not gonna get involved But if I knew them I'm like I met this girl a few times I've like I just I have a I have I'm

I'm That's hard for me to just Let people like oh And he's like guy code bro What the fuck you know I have tried too often To dissuade people from making bad decisions And I'm never listened to

Particularly when it comes to relationship stuff No one ever listens to me In my friend group ever like honestly And I'm like you know what live Yeah live and I'll I'll say anything if it was probably like Girlfriend shit because to me I'm like Well

whatever. When it gets to that marriage bar, I'm like, damn, that's fucking, that's a different level. It's a different level. You're married for a problem. I feel like at that point, I don't know, man.

Like, you're 50 years old. I don't know. It's hard for me to even conceptualize that situation because to me, I would be like, you're doing this because you're bored, clearly. Uh-huh. And you're with this person for this long,

for, you doing that it's a he needs to tighten that back up um i i just don't understand what the impetus would be i don't know i can't wrap my head around this i just think there's a it's almost i think it's in the way of like how people do tradition or it's clear that you shouldn't do this anymore but you're so used to doing it so and that's like staying in the marriage where clearly he's not that interested in his wife anymore but she's been there for so long however long they've been married. Yeah.

You know, they're established. Yeah. Yeah. It's one of those things where it's like, oh, it's probably going to be a big fucking deal and also, most people don't get,

pre or post-nuptial agreements. Yeah. Like, so he'll probably lose a lot of his stuff. Yeah, just, to me, just like, bro, just suffer. I mean, you,

you fucking, I mean, like, that's the whole thing about marriage though. Suffer. Because you will get, because you're going to, I can't imagine not getting bored.

Like, like, like, 40 years, like you're going to be bored. Right? It's just a matter of just like, are you going to ruin your life over it? You know, like, I don't know. I mean, suffering silence.

There's going to be a period of time when you're no longer going to probably be physically attractive to your partner, right? It's not even about that. It's just like. I think it's, you can still love them, but you're probably like, oh, my wife is not as hot as they used to be. But that's fine. I don't know. I don't know. It's like a part of existing.

It's a matter. It's a matter of people's personal, like, philosophies on that stuff. Yeah. For me, I don't, I don't, I've never felt like sex was a big deal at all. But like, nobody else feels that way. So it's like it's just best not to even fuck around with it. You know what I mean? Like it's not a big dude.

That's like food to me. It's just like I don't know whatever. Because I'm not. I could, I think it like this, right? Like I could fuck several women. If I'm if I'm if I just want sex, I can get sex. Clip it. Hi, I'm Dr. Jake Goodman, host of Beyond the script.

The podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer the health questions you didn't even know you could ask at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, we are diving into gut health with CVS pharmacist. Victoria Motola, who explains why so many of us live with stomach issues we should not accept as normal. A lot of what I see is just like chronic bloating, chronic stomach aches. Like I get a stomach ache every time that I eat. And it just becomes like a lifestyle where, oh yeah, you know, I just, I have a stomachache every day. Or I'm constantly feeling like gassy. And all of those things are not something that generally, if you have a healthy gut, you should be living with. So that's when we deep dive. We deep dive into your medication. We deep dive into your OTC medication.

And then at that point, we can probably identify something that we can change. Hear the full conversation, plus some fascinating facts about how gut health affects so much more than just your stomach on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy and IHeartRadio. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. For delicious meals, you could go out to eat or spend hours in the kitchen. Or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Yeah, you heard me. Marie Callender's classic chicken parmesan bowl is delicious with scratch-made marinera sauce,

creamy mozzarella cheese, and no preservatives. It's high in protein with 30 grams per serving. Marie Callender's, what having it all tastes like. You know, like it's not hard to, it's not hard to get that, you know? You're in a relationship for more than that, you know? know. Yes. So at a certain point, you might not be fucking the same way you used to, but that's fine

because you still love the time you spend with that. That's a problem. Yeah. But you have to be with someone you enjoy that with. And a lot of people, we are all witness. There's some people just don't have that with people, you know? That guy, for sure. Like I said, he clearly got married because it was expected of him.

Guys, you don't have to get married. Like, if you want to just fuck bitches, you can do that. Yeah. There's a thing that some people just feel like, oh, it's like going to college and all this stuff. They feel like they have to do these beats. and you don't have to do it anymore. So just if you're,

you clearly don't want to be married if you're fucking prostitutes all the time. Yeah. That's not marriage. That is not marriage. So don't do it. If you think, I've also like met like a handful of like people who are like older.

Uh-huh. Who are married. And I think they're like, I think they're pretty pragmatic people where they're like, listen, I love you, you know, we work as a unit. We're bored.

Whatever. And that's interesting to see how that. That's a fucking fascinating situation. But to me, I'm just like, at the very least, like, transparently. Like, surely you've been with this person long enough that, like, you can have a mature conversation about, like, what, like, how could you possibly not understand? Like, at that point, like, oh, I'm 50 years old. And it's just like, fuck, man. This is, uh, this is weird.

I don't know if I, I feel kind of like, yeah, I don't know. I at least have that conversation, but like to sneak around and go, I don't know, man. I would rather, I would personally just suffer in silence, wait it out. Suffer and science. I'm just not, I feel like I'm built for this. I'm, um, I've had my fair share of fun. Yeah.

Um, I don't have a lot of those, uh, what ifs or fomo when it comes to like, women. Right. Because really at the end of the day, because legitimately pussy is pussy. It's not,

it's that I've never, with many women and I've never been like, this feels particularly different or something. It's just like, it's great. I've had bad pussy. So it's a, there is, I've never, I've had pussy that was, uh, let's say, um, they needed some antibiotics or something.

Or maybe like, like, like, you just kept plowing away. I mean, you were like, yeah, this is weird. I've had like a couple of encounters where it's like, oh, uh, you know, you, you, you clearly weren't, taking care of yourself or something. But not because it felt bad. I think that's retarded. Like, you're, you're an idiot. To me, it's like, what are you saying?

I've definitely had fraternity that felt better than each other, but not like radically so. Maybe the moment was better. Maybe the moment was better. That's probably like what it was. a lot of factors. It's, I promise you, it's not the vagina itself.

It might even be like, she's not filling it so she's fucking not particularly loop for you. And so there's, there's many of things where it's like, moments have hit different,

but it's like, it's not, it's like even like, like, hooking up with my wife. There are moments where sometimes it's like, oh,

that wasn't as good as it was just for many reasons. Sometimes I'm not like, my back's hurting, you know, so I'm not fucking put it in like I normally would because I'm like,

I'm aware, but I'm still gonna get it in because I want it. Yeah, like, I'm aware. But, like, at that age, I just don't think I'm like, I think me and little are going to be probably playing board games more than we already do. I still like playing D&D. But this is fun, huh? Like, yeah, we're old.

Yeah, I just, to me, that's like, because I love seeing couples that are like in their 80s or whatever. And they're still like madly in love with each other. And I feel like, like, I'll see ones. They're still holding hands. Like, I don't, I don't like holding hands that much. But it's more of just, it just feels like a who, who's this for kind of that. I don't need to get into that. But I'm just saying like, seeing them.

Like seeing them do stuff like that and like being all love you done with each other at like dinner or breakfast more realistically. They're out for breakfast. Yeah, they don't got that in them. Yeah. They ain't going to dinner for. I barely go to dinner. It's 545. They're like, oh, fucking traffic.

We got to like go somewhere. I don't, fuck. Traffic is really the biggest. It's 100% traffic for me. The biggest deterrent from there. It's literally. It's going to dinner sucks when you have to drive to it. It's that.

It's literally that for me. I love New York City so much. I was just like, alright, let's walk somewhere. Let's walk somewhere. Yeah. But, yeah, I don't know. Yeah.

Whatever. This person, Don't get involved. It's what I, my personal, like, just, it's not your fucking business.

What was the, because that was the point of it. He's like, what do you see yourself getting up to at that age? Okay, so we kind of covered that. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I'm just probably just telling my girlfriend. I don't know, my wife hopefully by that. Yeah, I mean, just playing,

I'm hoping that, I'm hoping that this podcast, like, we, 50s we can kind of like, I don't know, maybe we're sitting on a... Kill ourselves. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm hoping that like 50s will be chill. We're like, oh, we're good. Yeah. I think by the time I'm that old, I think if I'm married, I'm going to be married to somebody that I've been very transparent about where I'm just like, listen, I can see this.

I could see myself being bored by 50. And so that's just going to be something that you're going to have to understand. I just think don't fucking get married. Like if that, if that's just not, bro, I'm like, don't get married. Don't do it. Why? Yeah, you just don't have to. Like, why rope yourself into something like that?

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, fuck all that. Like, for me, I don't people are like, I don't know how people would like have a single relationship. They just sleep around. It's like, how does it? Like, I mean, that's, that's all your line. Like, hey, I don't want it.

I want to just have sex. That's it. And then if they're like, I want more than this to be like, okay, don't do it. I'm like, all right, well, I'm out. And you put your clothes back on you leave. I would have to say, listen, you got to get better at it. You have to improve. Yeah.

You got to, yeah. Why not? Yeah. Yeah. It's got to, you gotta be a little better about it. Come on. Practice. Yeah, put some work into this.

Yeah. You know, I can't be doing everything. If you get a little better, maybe this might work. If it doesn't. There is, I'm, I'm being honest, I think there's many people that, they just don't have conversations about that shit. Oh, they definitely don't. Because it's taboo.

They definitely don't. It's kind of, it's an uncomfortable conversation to have. It's not offensive. You know, it's like, hey, man, because I'll be honest, there's a lot of, like, say, me, I, I, I talk about the me is, like, uh, I would talk about the me is like, uh, eating ice cream, get my dick sucked or something. It's crazy. It's crazy.

My thing is, there's some, I'm going to be honest. There's some women that were just like, you don't understand the idea. It's called sucking dick. Sucking. Not just mouth over it and then moving your head back and forth. That's not biting my penis off. If you're feeling teeth, you're like, oh, I don't know. I've had people take that too seriously where it's like, it's not a straw, dude.

You know, like, fucking relax. It's just, exactly. So there's a thing where it's like, well, if you're with that person, you can at least talk to them about it, right? Yeah, yeah. If it's like one-off things, you're obviously not going to coach them. You do, you do. You were like, hey, bitch.

Because they're going to stop and leave. You're like, okay, fuck you. You're doing this very not good. Fuck you. I'm going to go, I'm going to go suck off some nerd that's grateful. Yeah, and he's going to complain too. As soon as, as soon as you like literally like look at it, he bust. He's fucking takes that shit out.

He just, boom. Black God. I, I, I, I wish that was me, dude. I'm be honest. I wish I could come from laughing. It would be hilarious. That's insane. You would come.

You would die. I would die. I would die. I'd be honest. I'd be like, I can't be partners with you anymore. We can't be comedy partners. If you're going to come every time.

That's the reason he took this job. Is he found him that he comes every time you laugh? He's just having a great time. This whole thing is like a sick fet and he's being paid for it. He's being paid for it. He's getting paid to come. That's crazy. That's truly gross.

That's fucking. amazing. You're just roping the whole time. Say something funny. Say something funny. It was great. Giggling so through my teeth. It was funny. Yeah, no, I don't know.

You don't have to get married. You don't have to get married. You don't do it if you don't want to. It's that simple. It is that simple. And also, again, just have conversations and transfer. Because I really do think most people at a certain point have that feeling. It's just a matter of whether or not like it matters.

it's so disastrous that it's even worth like really doing anything about and I think for most people it's probably not it's just like whatever who cares we'll talk through it

we'll fucking spice things up or whatever right I think for me it's just like you got listen man I take it seriously all right

I'm in competitive rank okay and you gotta be you gotta I can't I can't not have a I can't be with a casual casual sexually you're talking sexually right

yeah I can't be with somebody who doesn't take that seriously I can't do it yeah yeah I'm I like well like say I like where we're at I feel like everything is like for me everything's going great like it's communication's great everything's fucking chill there's no like this sucks or this is too she's not too insane or like you know like because there's some like

like a j girl they're like choke me choke choke me that's crazy and I'm like I do what I'm not I do what I do I do I do I got to do I'm not I'm not into choking I've been I've been to the I've been to the darkness I feel I think a light grip on the neck is not choking because that's literally not choking. I don't literally want to try to fixate someone. I love choking white women explicitly. I'm into whatever the person in front of me is. It feels like retribution.

I'm into whatever the person in front of me is into at the time. So you have no self-s-send-a-south. That's-what? You have no line. I mean, my- I have no lines. Sir, you would you,

you have lines? I think so, yeah. But what if the, that chick's like, you know, flips you over and she's like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna beg you. I have lines. What if she's not powering you though? You ever thought about that? Like, what if she does and she pips you?

So she rapes you? And you're like, You're like, it's like, well, then I guess I'll be late. Yeah, I guess. Like, what do you mean? Yeah. What are you talking about? What if she overpowers you?

Yeah. Yeah. My butt's going to get fucked. What do you mean? Yeah. I didn't think about that. I thought of the comedy. And I was like, no, wait, that's just someone getting raped.

Excellent. That is excellent. No, but I have a sense of self. I have a line. You sure? Yeah. Have you met it yet? What do you mean?

Have you made something? Have you had to go? Have you had to go me to someone? Did you have to go me to someone? Yes. I mean like, listen, this is that's... I'm not into that. No, we're not doing that. But she's like fizz deep in you.

Hey, hey, hold on, hold on. Okay, you don't kiss my neck. You just, you, you just flick my heart, okay? That's awesome. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no eye contact. You look me in the face. I fucking have, I have a, I'm too ticklish on my neck. I can't like, you can't go, you can not go in, Lily.

I am tickling. you. Basically, I turn it to a turtle, dude. I turn it to a fucking... I do this, literally. I go like this and I'm like, I'm literally not trying to do this. I swear to you. Yeah.

I'm very ticklish and I don't like people touching me in general. Yeah, I'm sorry. You, dude, that's so fucking stop. Stop, I'm going to hit you guys. Seriously, stop. Chris, stop me. I do not want to hit you. Stop.

I do not want to hit you. It'll be good content. I'll see if go gorilla mode right now. It's crazy. Stop. I really... One frame is a gorilla. Don't take my joke.

That's my constant joke. I love going frame by frame. I love going frame by frame and seeing someone be something that really not. That was that video. The kid. Well, the E.T thing. That wasn't a video. That was just something we made up.

Oh, right. But like there's a video, this video, there's a old video. You remember the video. You remember the video. Every race. There's this video like is really out of focus. We've talked about it on the show before, but like, ages ago. This is really out of focus video of this child getting kicked by this one.

And it's so funny because it zooms in, but it's so low-res that like every frame, because it's doing the, you know, the pixels are doing like the predictive kind of, you know, the predictive pixel like fill in. It looks like a different kid every frame. It's crazy. And at the end, he just looks like, he looks like a drawing of like Johnny from a fucking Edinetti. This is the video that you couldn't find, right? This is one of the videos that we could find it. We had it on Twitter. I should have saved it.

Yeah. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I don't want to think about that one. I don't want to hear it if it's bad.

Yeah, that wasn't even that. Yeah. You're, every funny video. Every funny. Yeah. That's why I do it now. We're going to think I'm crazy.

I'm sad at how many videos I've lost. Hi, I'm Dr. Jay Goodman and I'm the host of Beyond the script. A podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about women's health.

Health, Amy Lynn Safatee Valentine, a CVS pharmacist from Long Island, New York, talked about just how often women approach pharmacists with questions about menopause symptoms. When it comes to patients that are really suffering with the symptoms of perimenopause or menopause, it's really important for them to be evaluated by their OBGYN because there are a lot of prescription medications that can help with that. If someone is really opposed to taking medications, there are a few lifestyle modifications that they can do, like avoiding caffeine and spicy foods, trying to stay hydrated, have a regular sleep cycle, get some exercise. Those are all things that could kind of help to limit the symptoms. Here are the full conversation, plus so many

fantastic insights into all the stages of life when it comes to women's health. Listen to Beyond the script, a podcast from CBS Pharmacy wherever you get your podcasts. For delicious meals, you could go out to eat or spend hours in the kitchen. Or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Yeah. You heard me. Marie Callender's classic chicken parmesan bowl is delicious with scratch-made marinera sauce, creamy mozzarella cheese, and no preservatives. It's high in protein with 30 grams per serving. Marie Callender's, what having it all tastes like.

But, of course I got a safe into the spider versus on my camera roll. That's so fucking stupid. Like as if you're not going to have access to that movie. I own it. I literally own it physically, too. Of course I got to save the entire San Saga on my fucking phone I really can't

I need that Are you fucking serious? I have the San Saga And I have the Broly movie on my phone The camera It's such a waste of space Like what am I using the space for Stuff

Like what? Like that? No not that And what am I using it for? Memories Photos Oh shit What I could do that

I haven't been enjoying the memories of that Because I'm saving The Buzsogah He's your tube. Spanish. Do you take pictures at all? No, I'm a picture person. I kind of don't either, really.

Never have been. You got it, man. I feel for Instagram because I have to sometimes. I feel like all the Kim Trails or whatever RFK is talking about, like it's going to get our brains and we're not going to, we need these to remember stuff. I know I'm going to have dementia eventually and I don't care. You already have it. You already have it, I think.

I'm ready to go. I think my lack of sleep is making me sprint towards dementia. Yeah, you're speed running dementia. I need to stop. and I can't help it. So I went to bed at like 5.30. You know what I mean? I was like,

I told myself, I'm gonna go bed at two. Did you actually go to bed at 530 this morning? Yes. Me too. Isn't it great? Yeah. It's,

and I'm like, I know I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be fucking gone in 20 years. I was just making stupid Instagram videos that I didn't post. And then I like fucking. I'm saving them. I'm saving them for like I.

Jesus. I went to bed at a reasonable time relatively. Oh, nice. Yeah. And you're still late. Yeah, that is. I was.

We were wondering about that they were like, do you leave at 1130? Is that the thing? You're like, oh, I usually, I leave my house. It's 1130. It's time to call the fucking taxi. I leave my house around like, which is like, 25. And I'm like, oh, it's going to take too long. 25.

What do you mean? What do you mean it would take too long? Because of the fact that when I'm with, like, people that I know they're driving, they get here in like four or five minutes, maybe. Because everybody goes the wrong way. Okay, yeah. All right. All right.

Yeah. Yeah. Remember five minutes ago when you painted a picture where I was, I was being raped. No, yeah, that was pretty cool. Why'd you do that? It's funny. It's like, what?

It's just funny. I remember you'd be like, hey, wouldn't it be hilarious if we got raped? I remember you said that. I've definitely said that. You tried to apply that. You tried to, you attack it.

You're like, you don't have a sense of self. Also get raped is basically what you did it. Yeah, dude, it's in the dichotomy of man. It's crazy. I have a sense of self. This is going to piss out of here, huh? Yeah. Let's get the piss out of here.

Ew. It's like milking a dude's piss out of them. read our Nate what the I'm gonna read You speed the guy's balls He pisses a bunch I thought that's how do you pee

Can you pop testicles? They can pop right I'm like thinking about stuff like that man That's like trauma without that Every happening Like it hurts me thinking about that shit It doesn't I just don't care about that I also been hitting my balls so many times

And I'm sure they're numb Yeah I'm sure they're numb My balls are so numb. My bowels! My bowels are numb. All right. I done killed myself. We're going to read the $25 and up Patreon names.

Remember, you can join this cluster fuck of a show. And put your name in these credits if you want. What song is that? I have killed myself. I have killed myself. I have killed myself. I'll kill myself I'll take my life

and I fuck a dude and then he disrupts the kill myself and then also it makes a game fantastic you want to read the names he's got the best fucking improv you're warmed up I'd rather not

but you got the best school like dude I'd rather not yeah me neither how much is tuition do your improv school fucking all you should do on that show all That was good. Yeah. That was fantastic, actually.

All right. This is the $25 and up. Can I get the countdown, please? 15. 14. Deleted evil Tom Sweeney says, I love the gays, but they're not human.

Ray J. J.R. 12. Steak eater. Evil Kendrick Kumar be like, Watt, what, what,

what, I'm a fuck his butt. What, what, Wap, Wap. I'm a pedophile. Dog, Brown in 18,

1980, 55 was supposed to be 35 years old with white hair and wrinkles. Gay combat evoked, gay low combat evoked. Emma throwing big bucks. Build Gundam model kits. They're really fun. My uncle, my tart uncle used to molest me now, well, sorry.

Now that he has locked in syndrome, I OD'd on rhino pills. to take revenge every day. That's crazy. Oh, yeah. That's intense. That's good. I like that.

Good for you, man. I don't like that. Good for you. The glug glug gabelab. Magin, Magin Kanye has fixed the, what's about the Patriot's Patriotty on tears.

Oh my God. The idea of Bobbidi comes like freaking taking Kanye on this influence is crazy. Um, my Abba taught me a few things too, like how to rip your skin off and use this, using my own mouth.

Don quissote or don quixote? Don quixote. Don quixote. Ah, like testicles. Like testicles. The environmental storytelling of dead squirrel

to condominate it. Sweeney, you looked up the wrong Yes King meme, which it's called this is what Squidward This is why square can't sleep. Berserkabroly, Gap Shotting, Swin, Snart Tank in Japan featuring Johnny Somali. Ain't no way, what you call it? Ain't no rest for the spit kid.

That's insane. Red rectum redemption. Put donuts on my cock. My goose shooter. What are the truth? You can't handle it. The Purple Warrior. I'm not sleeping on a plane unless my pilot is autistic black.

I'm not supposed to play on this autistic black. polyamorous amputee Jesus Christ And words don't Rion trees Mind yeast What you call it Domination

Vond of the Dead Special Needs Goblinoid Derek is innocent Hashtack Free Him Rounded Asian Muffle Muffolide

Muffified Or mummified Muffified Whoa Mummified And Chris's Double What

In double stuffed addict Chris's house Is built Like a fucking Jenga castle sometimes. I can't believe they made Hershey woke by

using pronouns in their in its name. So stupid. Hershey. That's not bad. It's lame, but it's not bad. That's a well-aged joke, you know? Like, I've no comedy for real. That's, to me, who's that redneck

that did the redneck comedy? Larry Cable guy? Yeah, one of them. But I'm thinking of the the Jeff Foxworthy. That's that type of joke to that. Jeff, Jeff would be like, I wish they were just straight up racist during that.

It'd be so much funnier. It was, I feel like if they came back and did another one, they would. I feel like they'd be like, these guys are gone too far. I'm like, nah,

they're walling. They're, they're walling. I'm layering than inward guy. I might be like, look, man, I'm from the rule south and black people do scare me,

but these guys are tripping. Calm down. leave the Mexicans here. At least the one, there's one named Bill Ingval who nobody remembers him. Oh, he had a show. Oh, he did? He did? Yeah, it was the Bill Engval show.

I'm not kidding. I swear to God, this is real. I didn't know that. Unless I'm hallucinating it, which is possible. Because he's the one that, like, everyone doesn't remember, I guess. He was like the, he needs to become racist. He also has a show that nobody remembers. Yes, he does, because Jeff Foxworthy did that smart than the fifth grader.

Yeah, are you smarter than the fifth grader? The answer was no. True The Ron Wyatt is actually a pretty good comedian actually Yeah I like Ron White I remember liking one Larry the cable guy was just just did Stadium tours So he was super famous

So I'm just saying like all of them did stuff And then Bill was famous because of cars I guess he had a fucking show He had a sitcom He had like a movie fall show It's so comedy was interesting I remember watching it just had a curiosity because it was on TBS And I remember watching a lot of TBS for

some reason. I liked watching like everybody was Raymond and Conan and stuff. And so I was like a Billing Bull Show, I wonder what that's it, what that is. And I watched it and it was like, oh, this sucks. I'm a fucking dumb redneck. It's like, look, I'm, I got a family. This is my daughter. Shit, fuck.

It sucked so hard. And that he presses the audience. He presses himself. I'm actually curious, look up the, look up the theme song for the, if there even was one. I don't even know. It's the bail. Okay. Let me continue. Okay.

Sweene shows up late to the scroll his phone. It's a sandwich interrupts everyone and complains. That's what he would say. He's there. Snartank RPG on Twitter once, photos of you all please. Ben Shapiro's actually right for one to reward him. Oh yeah.

Did you see that? Yeah. What the fuck was that? Yeah, it was crazy. Even he was like, he was like, he can't even, he couldn't even lie about fucking, uh,

uh, Trump is lying about a lot of stuff. He's like, he's like, he's absolutely not correct about, uh, because he, Trump was like,

he was, he was, he said, He said that Ukraine started the war. Oh. Yeah, Trump was like... And Ben Chibir was like... They started and then Ben was like, yeah, we're going to listen to this clip because I think he's wrong.

He's like, it's absolutely not true. I saw Candace Owen's on fucking Pierce Morgan talking about how like, yeah, Israel's doing a genocide in Gaza also. That's what got her fired from the Daily Wire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All quite literally. Yeah, because she was talking about no one should be fucking genocide in anyone. She didn't specifically say Israel was doing it, but it was clear. Excuse me, Candice.

I would prefer that you didn't mention Jews in any in any real way, so... Please, that all. You want to continue your job here. You're making us look. bad, even though we are doing some really shady stuff. The Daily Wire over here in the IDF, you know, we're basically the same thing. This shit fin to be crazy when Hitler D. Now, I can't as always.

I'm, I didn't mean to pull you into my office exactly, but, like, I'm getting quite sick of having to... If you could just do me the salad of, like, bringing your chair into my office after you're, after you're done, sitting. On it. On it. As sweaty as possible. As sweaty as possible. Please come here after work. Out.

That's exactly what I was going to do. Hassan looks like someone who took a dupla figure and put Legos head on it. Suing my ex-boyfriend, because he had my friends, cut my cock into pieces. This is my... These are my tranny scars. I don't like that word at all. These are my tranny scars. Thugzilla King of the Hooksters.

I used to like it. I don't like that word, but like I also don't like that. Because to me, it does feel like a shorthand. You know what I mean? It used to be a not, it didn't used to be offensive. Yeah. But then the wrong people started using it. And it became offensive.

Because it would be those, those bitches would call themselves. They would call it themselves. It was like, oh, fucking me. Yeah, we used to call ourselves that. It was kind of in that way. It was like endearing. It's not even necessarily that it's endearing. To be, it's just like it literally is just like a shorter version of the word.

Like it doesn't even feel like a slur in it. You're going to say trance. That's literally a more accurate. Well, I understand that. That's what we do now. It's effective same meaning But I know the people that would argue To say the word

Are dicks Yeah That's why I just don't want to say That's the problem And that's all I need to have You know, that's kind of I feel like We just need to go back to the same chicks with dicks, man

That was better It's actually more progressive To me there is I feel like I feel like that's just like I saw somebody spell it with X's And it made me laugh so hard I don't know why It's stupid

With dicks I feel like I don't know I'm something about that spelling It's funny It's like it's extreme I think slurs are funny. I always think they're funny,

but I understand why you shouldn't say them. Yeah. And I'll just, I'll be like, I'll be fine with it. Sure. Hi, I'm Dr.

Jake Goodman, host of Beyond the script, the podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer the health questions you didn't even know you could ask at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, we are diving into gut health

with CVS pharmacist, Victoria Motola, who explains why so many of us live with stomach issues we should not accept as normal. A lot of what I see is just like chronic bloating, chronic stomach aches. Like I get a stomachache every time that I eat. And it just becomes like a lifestyle where, oh, yeah, you know, I just have a stomachache

every day. Or I'm constantly feeling like gassy. And all of those things are not something that generally, if you have a healthy gut, you should be living with. So that's when we deep dive. We deep dive into your medication. We deep dive into your OTC medication. And then at that point, we can put it.

probably identify something that we can change. Hear the full conversation, plus some fascinating facts about how gut health affects so much more than just your stomach on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy and IHeartRadio. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. For delicious meals, you could go out to eat or spend hours in the kitchen. Or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Yeah, you heard me. Marie Callender's classic chicken parmesan bowl is delicious

with scratch made marinera sauce, creamy mozzarella cheese, and no preservatives. It's high in protein with 30 grams per serving. Marie Callender's what having it all tastes like. That's it. I won't see them in public. That's the same.

What the fuck does happen? What the hell is that the Blankhole show? What does it call it? Wait, wait, here. Hey. Why don't remember the show? It's just country. You don't ever watch Reba?

Of course I've watched Reba. Of course I watched Reba. It's 15 seconds of a country. I love Reba. The Reba show is so fucking fun. You know how forgettable that is? There's no way you're going to remember that. You don't even sing.

My sins are painted in the past. Shut up. What is that? What is you saying? Who I am and who I want to be. Why do you watch that? What are you doing? My grandma likes Rebaugh so I get tired a lot.

I see. A single mom who works two jobs Who loves your kids And never stops Rebo? Is Rebo? Is Rebo? Is Rebo?

Is Reba? It has to be. Yeah, I just always assume that. Was it Reb bitch? Okay. Losing all my friends in a custody battle, Kirk Cobain, POV. Have you watched the sound of Fury on Netflix?

Death, Jackson, World Fats, Majori needs a snark tank. Gifts to bomb. Cat Black. with FRs Whoa FRs FRs I don't know

For real Fereals With FRIs I don't know It's probably something Yeah Sneezing is just coming With your face

Mr. Favisca Get a fantastic Foresome My name is Jake And you guys are Really hurting my feelings Oh I'm sorry Jake Fuck you

What do we say about Jake What do we have I don't know I said every Jake Is evil or something Oh What do I have to do To Ditora King of Fazzard

You're never gonna Big Meaty Stinks Well, DM him I'm sure he's not in fucking Twitter Gooner killed by man who thwarts Andy the man whose handies are now back to A tier And Forever Dandy Sex Gifts

The Glove of Gavala Lob Is just a quarter ring with alopecia Oh my fucking God Oh my God Oh shit That's fucking excellent That is a powerful combination That is excellent

Holy shit It is recording with office I live the Texas ain't going to Vegas To eat no roadhouse Derek Okay you're up That is very true Switch hands Did you see that if you look up

A Dean I always forget his name Wither's no I have that picture of him That's crazy Did I send it to you guys I don't know I don't even know who that is

The little kid The little white feller That like That does all the debates On TikTok And stuff like that Oh yeah Oh yeah

The liberal kid Yeah I have a picture of him That's wild What the fuck happened Do what I always think I say shit and then I don't. I have the opposite problem of you. I have the whole entire universe on my phone.

I have the whole, I have, I have, I have Exodus in Aramaic written on my phone. You look up, but apparently if you look up Dean Norris, this is what pops up. Do you see this? Oh, I didn't see that. I did see that. That's fucking awesome, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a photo of Dean looking at it. Yeah. Fucking. With like a woman's foot like kind of on his

On his shoulders I love that image so much Because he's going wild He's going bananas in it All right Absolute horse piss in a chilled glass The in game currency and call of duty is called CP What

I love this image I wonder if he's seen it He's had this So I'm gonna say it tomorrow It's a, it's a, it's fucking Dean, it's that Dean, and it says, just, I hate black people. It's crazy having millennials or zoomers named Dean. It's interesting.

Such an old name. Yeah. The truth about Edwards is crazy. Have you heard of, um, DJ inward beats? Yes, of course. I didn't, dude, I just, I found it by misd accident last night. Of course. I, I, I, I was, um, me and Joe, they were watching bar rescue and somehow, oh, there was a

shitty DJ in the in the bar and somehow it got all the way to me wanting to search if DJ inward was actually a thing and then it led me to DJ inward beats and uh this guy named schmores and uh it's amazing if anybody listening go look up smores with a z and uh DJ inward beats and there's like a song with like four million plays that is uh it's it's it's iconic i'm really mad that it's not on Spotify anymore for whatever reason, but it led me to what I wanted to say was a playlist. And then I'll finish reading in a second. What's the playlist? The playlist is called because there's another guy named Young Fly. And so there's Young Fly on the track and it's a playlist. And of course, George Floyd is the profile picture of the playlist. But it's a playlist of a bunch of

inward related stuff that I found on Spotify just by. NWord Related. Yeah, because I was just looking for Smoors. Where did you go? That's the song called. where'd you go? And it's blanked out, so it's not available anymore. But here's some of the things. So everybody knows niggin,

nigger nigger by gangster rap. So that's on there. Yeah. Right? There's a song by Ex-Zimir. Who is that? I don't know.

This is a guy screaming. Holy just. Ah! Oh! Oh! Like you kind of say that. Yeah, exactly. Niggas in my butthole by

Zellmere or Examir. It's not as bad as a drug. as I wanted it to be actually. Um, Ney-Nay-Nigga by Gipool. On a nay-Nagin-N-N-N-N-Gin-N-N-G. Yeah, and that's, unfortunately, it's, uh, blocked out.

Um, I had sex with my dog is on here. I don't like hard ars. Um, and just the word hard R by Christian Adam G. Get the N-words out of society by the same person. Send me that. Send me that. You want the, you want this playlist?

Yeah, send me that. Send me that. Yeah, I went on a deep dive last time. I'm going to play that. I think you were reading the names and I was like, what the fuck happened? Just out of nowhere they all. I'm watching my nephew today. I'm going to play that around him.

You're watching your nephew today? Your nephew is fucked. I have several nephews. Here? Technically, yeah. Oh, inherited. Yeah. Okay.

All right, all right. I love that fucking Orson-wells-esque thing. Echo. It's... Orson Wells I love it like that kind of thing dude yeah this I found this by accident last night

just oh I wonder if there's anything called DJ hard R you know and it led me to that so fucking ridiculous society sometimes makes me feel good when like when stuff like this happens if it was just that you know like fuck a billionaire

let's just all make dumb shit with hard R and stuff now now all right where was I like a cautionary tale he says it. Kids. Derek looks like Franklin the Turtle. Is Sweeney's barber blind?

Jar Jar Binks should bang himself on a ceiling fan. Black, Squidward, more like inward. Scream adjacent feller. Third-eyed blind, I want semen or else I'm gonna beat my wife. Hi, I'm Dr. Jacobin, and I'm the host of Beyond the Script. A podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, All About Women's Health, Amy Lynn, Saffity Valentine, a CVS pharmacist

from Long Island, New York, talked about just how often women approach pharmacists with questions about menopause symptoms. When it comes to patients that are really suffering with the symptoms of perimenopause or menopause, it's really important for them to be evaluated by their OBGYN, because there are a lot of prescription medications that can help with that. If someone is really opposed to taking medications, there are a few lifestyle modifications that they can do, like avoiding caffeine and spicy foods, trying to stay hydrated, have a regular sleep cycle, get some exercise. Those are all things that could kind of help to limit the symptoms.

Here are the full conversation, plus so many fantastic insights into all the stages of life when it comes to women's health. Listen to Beyond the Script, a podcast from CBS Pharmacy, wherever you get your podcasts. For delicious meals, you could go out to eat. Or spend hours in the kitchen. Or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Yeah, you heard me. Marie Callender's classic chicken parmesan bowl is delicious with scratch-made marinera sauce, creamy mozzarella cheese, and no preservatives.

It's high in protein with 30 grams per serving. Marie Callender's what having it all tastes like. He's missing stuff. Yeah, baby, baby, baby. Just like, yeah, gay. It says baby at the end. Oh, yeah. Revise it, man.

Listen to a song and then make sure you hit all the syllables, but you're almost there. Kevin Durant's feet, Dr. Man, Love, or how I learned to stop worrying and love the cock. Fuck you, I'm paying my TV license, bitch. Mr. Pants. Sween, I remember seeing a Last of Us movie trailer. Fuckface unstoppable. When you read the Patreon names, how are they ordered by oldest member,

most money donated or most gayest most gayest is not dumb and old is say gayest gayest spum buffutters jolly o dipshit the ace of parades definitive top five black people

won LeBron two Keith David three future four Tim Duncan five suenny Tim Duncan's crazy like that's a he's such a boring human great fucking he's a great person but he's a fantastic player though of course it's a fact

I'm just saying greatest black people boring. Give me some charisma. God damn. Is that perspective or is that how it is? Whatever you want, man. That is a tiny hand. That's why he's screaming. He's so angry but it's tiny.

Or is he running at you real fast in the perspective of his arms is so long that they look like that. It's whatever you want, man. No, you just, look, if someone handed him a pizza and it fell out of his little tiny hands, so he was really upset. I'll put it like David Lynch and say like it's whatever it's it's whatever makes you feel the craziest.

Yeah. Hunging for Kami Wommies feed me Chrissy Pooh. Captain African America, Brave Blue Jungle. Cloak and Fagger. Pee-B-Top. They come running just as fast as they can because every guy's crazy about a sharp dick, man. Bann-Ban-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-T. Shitting in a Gatorade bottle.

Stiltson. Hey Derek, can you whisper into the mic Hot Pocket Fleshlight? Hot Pocket Flashlight. Yeah, somebody's going to jerk off to that. Wow, is that an old thing? Because I had a, I stumbled upon a tweet recently. This is with my original Twitter

where I said that Guantanamo Bay people should be tortured with three-minute hot pockets in the microwave on their dicks. That's crazy. Like, I stumbled upon that recently, and I'm like, God damn. Yeah, three minutes. is insane.

Remember the fucking the donut. Fucking yeah. The hot cinnamon roll. Was that what was the cinnamon roll? How long you wanted to put it in? Yeah. For like maybe like 25 seconds and then go and give it like that's really hot.

So fucking hot, dude. I think it's worth it. A pastry for 25 seconds is so fucking hot. That's crazy. That was on that long wooden table you guys had. We're still doing that shit. Yeah. End words.

End words. Ozzy possums are cute Until you hear them growl I think it's a lot of things right Smitchie the kid Vivek didn't say anything When told I wouldn't vote

She pipkin on my picka Ichibon Kasuga Post clarity nuts Scrotor the barbarian Hunter of Cock Need me some calcium cannons right now Facts Deporting might come

to the unconscious ICE agent's face Why did I say ICE This crazy I know you're talking about Jada Stevens in episode 299 being a Trump supporter, Swinney. Okay. Yush. Why can't we go, Sweene asked, because this adventure is dumb and gay.

Let's someone else deal with pizza time. Cry reported dryly. I'm speaking dumb. This is going to be useless stuff for this guy. Correct the Canadian. I only do casual racism. Ranked racism has too many sweats. It's your boy, Shawnee D.

Major minority, snark-tank fans are now homeless and deported facts. Sober's agent 267. I have watched every episode again and I've come to a conclusion. Sweeney's empathy is schizophrenic. Yeah. Calm Tony. I like the tacit agreement. Yeah.

Billy J. Armstrong, Jay Z, Tezunday, Danny and Grant McDonald having a conversation. Whoa. 3XO quitting the job that made him deeply. unhappy time to learn Premiere Fro let's go let's go what I'm talking about fuck them fuck the miserable job man

your health your mental health is better than money it's always above money you can be a bum on the street and be happy punching Nazis through Swain's tooth gap what are we looking at cave divers at the cave called I didn't see it said I didn't read in time

it's just cave divers being put in stupid fucking oh my god Sweden's showing dark a video Satan and survival like some fucking you don't it You don't deserve to lose. I really have a strange amount of contempt for those people. Yeah.

They're like innocent people that they're probably the only innocent people that should be dead. Yeah, it's exactly. You're right. You're so right. That's exactly what it is. It frustrates me that they're so innocent but so deserving of death. Yeah. Sweeties in pro class where the first course is called My Second Favorite N-word.

You want to do three or? Yeah, I'll do it. Okay. Yeah, whatever. We'll speed through it. Yeah. It's stuck in your head down. It's magical sounding.

I love what he's just like, all right. Like, after he hears that, you're just so over here. You're like, all right. Like that's it. That's it. That's it. Come on. I'm done.

Slurping, smoking, joking. Emoticon's going like this. Drip M.H. Lord of all drip. Wow. Your name can't contain special character. Shut the fuck up. Patreon.

Fuck you. Obie won't you blow me. Waiting for the swine hunting tier. I want his pelt. Cremlin de Gremlin to Gremlin. fucking squirrel girl and leaving two condoms in here. We're not mad at Derek. We're just disappointed. Jarvis take me off that scene's Blackbook. Now presenting our special guest to Molesto the Clown.

Phil Collins in the air tonight tune. I can feel it coming in my ass on tonight. Oh Lord. Wage Slate 583. I come, therefore I am. The Pepini brothers present Gordon Ramsey cleaning. Asman Gold's room ASMR. Donk, Doncerson, the colon swinging slasher.

Nice. My villain arc continues. I gained access to the account the thief made on only fans using my information. He didn't even buy good porn. All right. P.P. Sorry about the delay in drawing. Currently watching Life Fall Apart.

We'll get back to it soon. Hey, take your time. Yeah, man. Holy shit. The misanthropes had to get. The idea that we have any deadline for anybody is hilarious. What the fuck? Hurry up, man.

We barely. Quick about it. We barely have a deadline for us. You know, P.P. Sorry. I'm going to kill myself. That's it. That's fine. There's no deadline. That's fire.

Do you have a date in mind? Probably like next week. All right. Probably next week. All right. Sorry. Casual. All right.

I'll get around to it. I'm going to have time. I'm going to take your salary already. If you have time, I think I'll tell it. That doesn't bother me. I'm dead. Do whatever you want. Facts.

Fire, fire, fire, fire. I'm not like, oh, no, don't take the money. I'm not going to earn being in a fucking bag. Like what did you? I guess just. like switch every all the everything like you know make it easy for us. I got you. I'm not selfish. I appreciate that man.

I'm not selfish. Who be the first thing we'd be like, saw your head off. I would say I would go to his apartment and be like Lily. I got to get into the computer. Sorry. Why do you need that? That's crazy to do that right after I die. She's still morning. She'll still be warm. Yeah, you're still warm.

You're still doing it. He's just he has a hack song. He's just yeah. Yeah. You're inside not even dead yet. You're simply dying. And you're like, look, just in case. You think you can finish cutting your head off? Hi, I'm Dr. Jay Goodman, and I'm the host of Beyond the Script,

a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about pediatric health, Heidi Martinez, a CVS pharmacist from Edinburgh, Texas, talked about how parents can help manage their kids fever. When it comes to fever, it would just depend. on the child's behavior as well as the number that the thermometer's kicking back. If the child is behaving normally and they're not having any obstruction to their lifestyle that they usually lead, then maybe a fever reducer might not be necessary.

If you see that later on in the day, it progresses to mom, dad, I'm not feeling well. I need to lay down. And you know that's not normal for your child, then it might be time to give them a medication for a fever. Here are the full conversation, including so much great advice for parents when it comes to keeping their kids healthy on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. For delicious meals, you could go out to eat or spend hours in the kitchen. Or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal.

Yeah, you heard me. Marie Callender's classic chicken parmesan bowl is delicious with scratch-made marinera sauce. creamy mozzarella cheese and no preservatives. It's high in protein with 30 grams per serving. Marie Callenders, what having it all tastes like. I don't know, Derek. I don't know, Derek. I don't know, Derek. I don't know, Derek. I do not know. You think you can make it all the way? I don't know, Derek. Maybe you should...

Why don't you try to hire someone to do it? No, I'm just curious, like, because you're going to, you're going to do it. You're going to off yourself. I'm going to shotgun myself right in the base of my chin so I blow... So it's like confetti comes out. I want to look like a Jester's hat, but the top of my head. That visual is crazy. That was a great picture I painted, dude. It's a good thing.

I'm a wordsmith, bro. Little bells at the end? Yeah, your hair is hanging on like the bells. I want to kill myself comedically, man. I really do. If you were to kill yourself, to do it funny would be the best way. That's the most respectful. I think jumping off a building.

and doing a backflip. You know how they do like the, like go forward or do back? That's awesome. A gainer. Because that like you. I'm so jealous of that move.

Like I wish I could, I had more excuses to do that. Yeah. You know, sick. No, if you do that. It's really cool.

It's dope as hell. I don't think I like actually scream. I think I laugh like seeing somebody do like their coordinated fucking flip to their death. I want them to fly a little bit too. You know how like a DTI when you jump out of a plane, how you can like angle it up and you kind of sore a little bit. I want to do that.

Does that realize how that works? I really don't think so. I don't think so either, but I don't know for sure. I think you need some sort of drag. If you have like a baggy shirt on or something like that, maybe. Yeah, if you were naked, you're just plummeting. You're just going down. What if you were covered in oil?

Would you make the air slippery? Could you imagine someone falls in a plane with that covered oil? What does that mean? Are you falling faster? Do you fall up? Or do you like? Well, you're falling? Are you like sliding?

I wasn't going that way. I was thinking, uh... Oh, ah! I was thinking because you're so oily, that you slip through the air molecules with less drag. With less drag, yeah, much more velocity. Less drag. But that's crazy. Less drag, more drag, please.

Less drag. Let's do a drag episode. But somebody buys all that stuff because that shit, I imagine is very expensive. I have no issue with that at all. I mean, as long as someone buys it for me. But I feel like I don't want to half ass that. You know what I mean? That's what I'm saying.

It would, like, imagine if we had to get like legit drag, it's probably. Well, like, how much do you think we'd have to spend a few hundred dollars or something? Yeah, probably. I would like our makeup done stuff like that. If we were going to do it, I would do it like, I would do it up. Yeah. Yeah, we'd have to. That would be fucking fun, actually.

I mean, I literally, it doesn't bother me at all. I'm not like one of them niggas that are like, oh, unless it was like for a show and then the white executives are like, we're this fucking dress. Yeah, that's different. Yeah. But like, do this myself? Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

There's nobody try to kiss me, though. You know what bothers me actually? About like, uh, psychology. Because I remember like Everybody that I've ever dated has been like my height basically Or like maybe like a little bit taller So I remember I would like we would like share t-shirts and shit I'm like your clothes are so much fucking better

Than mine Like that's more I guess By a little bit yeah that's true It's so frustrating Yeah the other dumb ass feminists would be like Oh women's product cost more I'm like because they're better They're better material

They're fucking better Yeah that was always the frustrated That was the stuff in like 2016 About like the pink tax and stuff It's like, oh my God, fucking better products are more money. That's the stuff that got you guys into making content. And then it turned into like, oh, no, these niggas are crazy. Yeah.

Crazy people jumped on and started being crazy. It is so dumb to think that. It was. It was so stupid. It's like, obviously women's products are better because, A, they care more about it. Yes. And so they're willing to spend more money. And you get better shit.

You do. Women's products are so much better. It's insane. There was like, say, for example, one of my friends, Shela was like, I bought some, I bought some Dye. from my hair and she was like, what the fuck are you doing with that garbage? You know what I'm saying? Like, no, like women spend money on good products and proper dye-d-d-all- You might as well have melted a crayon in a fucking snapple bottle. Essentially. Like, this is the die I bought. Essentially. That's how she basically reacted to me. Like, you're an idiot. I'll do, like, I'll let me get good product and do it for you, kind of a thing. She'll, she'll let you show, she pulls down a book from a bookcase and then a secret door opens. There's like a fucking lab with like beakers and fucking Bunsen burners and shit. we're going to build a fucking die for you. That's awesome. I've always,

I'd love to have a trapdoor like that with the book. I was always so jealous of that. That's cool. Like the idea of like a hidden, just thinking of a hidden room in general. And I, unfortunately, like,

I feel like, I feel like, I feel like it's a kid. You look at that with like, wonder. Wonder. And like, oh,

how cool. Like, I can have my own, like, space. Now I feel like it's just inherently scary. Yeah.

If you have a hidden room, you're doing something that is, that you're doing something that you're doing something. Yeah. Ben Affleck, I mean, is this like an inkblot and you see yourself? I mean, I just put a, I didn't know what else... I see myself in gay sex.

I don't know. You just go to your therapist and just say the wildest shit. That's that SNL thing with Bill Burr recently. I didn't see it. The inkblots sketch where he's like, he's looking at inkblots and it's like, that's, uh... Two men making up. And then it, like, for everybody else it's normal, then whenever it's him, it's like, it cuts to like... It cuts to, like, deviant art porn.

It cuts to deviant art porn of, like, Mike Wozowski and, like, lacy thongs and shit. And he's like, oh. No, that's, and his Bill Berzer's like, that's Mike Wuzowski. And he's, uh, he's fucking Sonic. He says these things. It's crazy. He says, that's Master Chief from Hay.

He says this. He says this is, oh, that's Master Chief from Halo doing a lap dance or something. I was like, what the, I never thought I would hear of him. I mean, Paramount Plus. I see that. Yeah. The Paramount Plus, he would give a laugh dance, I think. Season three.

He'll get a lab dance to a sleeve and not free him. That scenario was so insane. That's such an insane He still has the muny armor on Mark 3 of course Holy shit The Mithrobes had a guest Come face

It's like Clayface But well you know I love the way that's written I love the cheeky to say There was a joke that we said during In a Discord You were like This character's name is

Gooner the Clown And it's like Hey what do you do Guter the Clown He's like I'll let you guess Yeah And I think that's really funny Because I like a really mundane level clown

just being like yeah my name's Goner the clown everybody's like yay I just do balloon animals what do you do

I'll give you three guesses I start with G um game yeah there's a bit of a sport I'd say that yeah

there's a bit of sport to it I saw this I saw this great I saw this great video like I wish I could remember the the creators but like I think the premise was like

It was like a sketch about the first person to come up with that, he's all right joke. You know that joke? He lost his entire left side. He's all right now. He's all right now. And it's a guy slowly getting it for the first time. He's like, wait.

Hi, I'm Dr. Jake Goodman, host of Beyond the script. The podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer the health questions you didn't even know you could ask at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, we are diving into gut health with CVS pharmacist, Victoria Motola, who explains. why so many of us live with stomach issues we should not accept as normal. A lot of what I see is just like chronic bloating, chronic stomach aches. Like I get a stomachache every time that I eat.

And it just becomes like a lifestyle where, oh yeah, you know, I just have a stomachache every day. Or I'm constantly feeling like gassy. And all of those things are not something that generally if you have a healthy gut, you should be living with. So that's when we deep dive. We deep dive into your medication. we deep dive into your OTC medication, and then at that point we can probably identify something that we can change. Hear the full conversation,

plus some fascinating facts about how gut health affects so much more than just your stomach on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy and IHeart Radio. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. For delicious meals, you could go out to eat or spend hours in the kitchen. Or you could just make a Marie Callender's meal. Yeah, you heard me. Marie Callender's classic chicken parmesan bowl is delicious with scratch-made marinera sauce,

creamy mozzarella cheese, and no preservatives. It's high in protein with 30 grams per serving. Marie Callender's what having it all tastes like. Wait, no, he's all right. To the untrained ear. Oh, my God. And that fucking killed me. To the untrained ears.

The untrained ear, you might think he's just doing well. He's fine. There's something about the phrase to the untrained ear that's like, fucking, I don't know what it is about it, but it is funny to be. Meaty, J.J., looks maxing for Jesus. John Strickland, Merck's 1889. I love how we have enough to afford universal health care and education, but we spend it on another country. That's pretty cool. It's pretty epic.

Woo! Woo! Yeah, we have a lot of. Coltrane. Oh, let's give everybody $5,000. That was not a. I'm like, shut the fuck up. Shut up!

It was a terrible impression of Coltrane. That was your cold train? I think I meant for it to me that did not come out correctly at all. I didn't know what you're doing. That was me, Coltrane. Woo! Woo! Marcus, woo!

Marcus! Dom! Get cold and bared and run to the Jeep or whatever. Whatever we have. Sponsored by. Jeep Cherokee. Woo. He drives...

That's how babies are like at Max cry. And they can't cry anymore. It cuts to that scene. Spoiler for Gears of War III. By the way, I don't know. It's been a long time. You should have figured this out. It's not on a PC, so I'm giving you

way more notice than I should. But it cuts to Dom driving, and he's bunch of it. It's been great, Marcus, or whatever. He's doing his favorite. Wells Beach. Yeah.

And then it, but it, like, every time it cuts out, it's, it's him driving like a Jeep. But it's like a commercial for a gym. And it shows like the Jeep Grand Cherry. Like four million horsepower, whatever the fuck a Jeep is. Four million horsepower is dubious. That is insane. That's a lot of horse souls, dude. That's a lot of horses.

That's what Batman be in, bro. Batman be. Dude. I just love the idea of like that scene being used as a commercial for the car that he's driving. That would be if if if if gears was made by 2k yes. If you could change the song what would it what would you change it to? oh the song for that moment it would probably be like free bird for me. Dona down down down down down down down down

Down damn damn damn down what's that song called again? This beans about to get fried. This meeting goes both ways. I'm gonna do it Marcus I'm going to kill myself and then you're gonna do it. Do you like refried beans and he blows up? He's He's He's about to get set up fire I'm gonna do it

I'm gonna do it first I'm gonna I'm gonna kill myself First I'm gonna eat these Goya re-fried beans Pre-Raz Jamar from afar You want fun Wario

Wario shows you fun These is three ads At one time There's so Stop put them in there The Jeep Cherry They were just...

Get your boyya beans. They have paid by several different sponsors, but then dropped at various stages in production. And then at the end, they were just like, just air it. It was like, take it. Take it all. Goya refra. Jeep Grand Charit. It's insane.

The sink in a city with a giant worm brought to you by frosted flakes. Are you in good hands? Fuck, we've mixed the files This looks like that The video editors are like, okay, I guess And they just kept fucking making it I gotta go home I really haven't seen my wife in days

I'm so hungry Pre-Rods Blakeet 9896 Who do you think you are I am? My seatbelt getting stuck As bumblebee transforms Do you think Brian Thompson's the last words as well In OG Powerpuff Girls KempX was a can of whoop ass

That is true I do know what you're saying Yeah. The pilot for Powerpuff Girls that's on aired is like the can of the chemical X is a can of whoop ass. Because they were called the whoop ass girls, I think initially. I'm not even joking. I'm dead serious. But then it was like, cartoon out where it was like, okay, well, we're not going to do that.

Obviously not. It's a great pitch. But like, no. I love that a kid made that show by damn near. He was like, it's crazy. He was younger than us. He was way younger than we are. Well, not way.

He was 24. I think he was younger than that when he first pitched it. I mean, I saw an interview with him. in the thing where he was like 26, 25, and that show wasn't that old. It didn't go on for that long. I think, because I may pitched it maybe.

Yeah, maybe he was being pitched around for a while. That's crazy. It is kind of nuts when I look at them. Like, there's an interview with him and he looks like, he looks like a modern, normal,

like a modern 25 year old, so it's kind of jarring. Because like, 30 years ago probably about. Because I'm so used to seeing, like, growing up, I was so used to seeing like, you know,

25 year olds in the 70s where they look 40. Yes. They're like 45 and they're already beating their wives. My girls have that fucking broccoli hair now and shit. They're all like... The Edgar. Yeah, whatever.

That's... Dude, when I got my haircut one time, they did that to me. And I was like, this looks so stupid. That's awesome. There's no way that's true. When did this happen? When COVID first happened and we moved into the house in the one that we moved in a... I swear to God.

Complete lie. I swear to God. I had a flat top. But if I picked my hair all the way, it would look like that. I swear, that's why I didn't do that. But you didn't get that haircut, though. No, but that was the same hair that I had at base. And I was like, like, if I cut my hair off right now

and I kept the top only and I picked my hair out, it would look like that. Yeah, cool. Do the cold sack already. Yeah, cool. I don't care about what you're saying. Do what I want. Yeah, cool.

Shut the fuck up. Brought to you by State Farm. Stop. Are you in... Are you in good hands? Are you in Gay Hands? Oh, that's Allstate. Are you in Gay Hands?

Are you in Gay? Welcome to Ball State. Are you in all? Are you in gay hands? Damn, who is this? That's Jake from State Farm, Marcus. Let's take for State Farm, Marcus. He's the good guy, I promise.

Oh, my God. I don't know where we're going to this. These worms are, wait, is this a berserker? The berserker needs insurance. Shut up. The Berserkid. Texas State of Salad. Jared Fogle using Doc Brown's time machine to molest himself as a child.

Nice. Shot Young Sheldon says Derek is my number one fan. Nice. Cullesack, your hair for the wedding. It's Nikki Ziggi. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I'm not doing that. 61.5 shades of gay.

Nice. In your best nostalgia critic voice, a lively credit card, I don't know how to, his voice is kind of hard to do. It's very distinct. Who is it? The nostalgia critic.

Oh. It's, I don't, yeah, I can't do it. Like, there are people who can, and it kind of blows my mind

because it is really, like, tricky. Lyle can do it. Lyle can do it. I know, I know O'Ne can do it. I've heard him do it a million times. I'm the nostalgia critic.

Hey, what's going on? It's me. Hey, it's me. Hey, why do you, Jake, from Safe One, why are you trying to give that berserkergers and insurance? Inge, the Solja Creek, the nostalgia creaky.

Please end. All right. It's me. It's me. The extolia critic. The nostalgic rife is. The nostalgic rife is a fire. From a time,

from a time, it was called Morrow. I'm going to placeholder on YouTube. I'm going to create a channel. Just do nothing with it. Just like an empty. Like an nostalgic F word's funny. That's good too.

That's another place holder. That's another one. Wump of fruits are laced with Epstein. The wamp of fruits are laced with estrogen crash. I pledge allegiance to the defzler. Sorry, Miss Jackson. That's good. Badly brave.

Dog the baby hunter. Not. Don't give them that. Aetherian needs help lowering his weapon for Halo 3. Orange Man Hunter. You've all done it before. Naifram. You're supposed to put a hand on your heart, right? When you do that or you're right?

Right hand on the heart, I think. Routing out our list. So stupid. As always. The king of F word. The king of haphazard. There we go. What is this when you go, I solemnly swear.

What is that? It's your right hand of God. What is that? It just means, hello God. It means you won't lie. It means you won't lie. But why does doing this gesture do anything? I don't know.

It's like I think it would be better. It's like a signifier that you're, I think it's more of like a visual signifier that you're engaged in the conversation. Like, oh, you understand what you're saying? Do this thing. I'm like, why not like, I like, pull my penis out. Like,

Oh! Insane. Immediately they shoot and it wraps a fucking lot. Like a net? Yeah, like, Mr. President, put your hand of the Bible. You know what they did do? You know what they did the old Zoom calls for court?

It's burning his hand? You remember during COVID they would do like the Zoom calls like over the judge like the judging? Yeah, of course. For once, someone's coming on a camera. Do you swear to tell the truth, nothing but truth so help he got? Oh. No, no, he just stands up. He just stands up and does it.

Ew. Like he gave him, did you see him give it shape over the microphone? He cascades over it. That's so much. He's like, what do you think, sir? He's like, oh. You know what I heard recently that made me fucking... I heard somebody say, like, yeah, well, if you need me, I'll be in the next...

I'll be in, uh, what is it? I'll be in the next room melting pearls on my stomach. Whoa. Whoa. Melting. Pearls is so crazy. It is insane Just say you're beating your dick

Don't try to make it fantastic That is so creative though Like I was jealous that I never would have even thought of something like that It sounds very old timey Kind of like the pearl necklace kind of Yeah melting pearls on my stomach You need me on a bit Girt

That's up for a while That was when we were kids Danimals Yeah I definitely came inside a damn It was a game That's definitely not what else That's so disappointing That's definitely not where I was going.

You know, Daniels hits, man. They're so sweet. I remember Danwling. They're so sweet. I'm sure it was like 100 grams of sugar in it. Oh, yeah. You know what was really great too? I don't think it's around anymore.

But that tricks yogurt? I never had tricks yogurt. Dude. That shit's not around anymore because people ate it and turned into fucking rabbit. They turned into that fucking rabbit actually. It's fucking giggling, like, hopping through the house. Causing mehap and turning niggas into color. That shit, that shit, I swear to you, that stuff was so delicious.

It was insane. It was so good. Look at up. It might be somewhere. They don't do it anymore. I think they literally discontinued it because there was like asbestos in. Probably Mexico. Of course it was in Mexico.

Of course it's in Mexico. What is it in Mexico? Mexico still have the 3D Doritos, man. They do. The fat ones. Oh, that's right. I forgot. Yeah.

I pissed off. They brought them back for like a second. They introduced, reintroduce them during a Super Bowl like a few years ago. And then they were gone months later. So I was curious the things that get reintroduced and then leave and stay. It's just going to be that Burger King got rid of the chicken fries for a long time. they reintroduced them. It's like a limited item

and they were like, no, we're keeping them. Yeah, that's what the Taco Bell did the same thing with the Mexican pizza. There are certain things that people are like, why are you taking this away? And then your Taco Bell experiments with fucking chicken nuggets. That's so disgusting.

It's crazy. You're getting hit tricky yogurt at Walmart right now. What? What? I'm saying, my nigga, you always got a check. Don't call me that. Don't say it like that. Shut up.

No. This doesn't make sense. Endwards. Endwards. Doom, doom, doom. No. It's mystical. It's like a little like whimsy.

What do you mean? I could have sworn. You have to check on things every year because you got to check every fucking day. I'm serious, bro. I'm so gay! Screaming that into frame. It's crazy. You are like you yelling and it happened.

I don't like that part. I don't like the hip hop a fire. I like the beginning of it. Where did you call? Call. Where did you go? Hi, this is Danielle Robe. The host of Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club,

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