The Snark Tank - #309: GAYS of WAR

Episode Date: March 21, 2025

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I'm never going here again after this because it's just, there's $11. Like, you know what I mean? Like this and this together. And I'm like, ah, it's not a, this is not a, My perception of food, cost of food is so completely wonky because, like, I would just pay money for good food. That's it. Like, I just, like, if I'm going to eat, I might as well pay money for it.

Sure, but Dunkin Donuts is not exactly worth. Like, I would definitely go somewhere else. That's the problem. It's not like, there's like a, there was like a really cool place that I saw. It doesn't matter. Is that, are you recording? Yeah. Oh, well, I mean, hey, perfect.

Hey, perfect. Hey, we got, we redeemed. It's the it's the garcant. Yeah, you actually got it now. Instead of that fucking tortilla with like slime and piss. It was slime and piss. It was just coming carrots, dude. It was insane.

That was a bunch of poppy seeds on here. I'm going to get popped for heroin. Oh, yeah, you're going to be a, you're going to test positive for opioids. Yeah, for opioids. And then they're going to shoot you dead like they do with every single opioid act. That's the new policy. Right. Shoot opioid.

Trump was like, shoot the opioid is. Shoot them. Shoot them dead. Shoot them dead. The carpet bomb their home. Carpet bomb their... Carp... How do you carpet bomb a home?

Like, I feel like one bomb would cover it. You would bomb... Like, one bomb is getting so many other people involved. It would be more like... You'd have to, like, carpet shoot a house. You have to, like, carpet... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like, Swiss cheese a house because more than one type of any...

Like, I think three grenades would really fuck up, like, a room. Like, you know what I mean? Maybe, yeah, I don't... My perception of grenades are really thrown up. off because I really don't know anymore. I saw a live grenade go off. Uh-huh. And I was just like, that's not nearly as much as I thought.

Because in video games, they were like explosions, which I knew, I knew that was like not real. I did not for a while. Well, because, I was maybe like 12. 13. I thought it depended on the type like, okay, a frag grenade is not going to explode. I thought a frag. It's shooting fragments.

So I understand that it can blow your legs off or something. It's more like a like a, like a blender almost. Like an AOE Blagm. Lender where it's kind of like here's a here's a random shard of something and it's gonna pepper your leg and you get all fucked up Yeah, but it's not gonna like sendiery one but I guess there's incendiary will obviously set you a flame Flash grenades flash ones which I I kind of want some flash grenades are so crazy I want to flash for people they're so bright you hear noise Like that is so crazy they're so bright your ears ring no that's that is such a stupid understanding of what a flash grenade is do they make your ears ring you think the It's not the light that does it?

What's the part that does it? The explosion. It's still, because it's a grenade still. It's still, it's still, it's still, it's still, it's still, it's still, it's still, it's still. It's still, it's still. It's still. It's, shh. Fucks your ears of not the light.

I knew that partially, but I like the idea of like, like, a light is so bright. It. It. It's, it. It seems into your hearing. I mean, hey, why not? Welcome to the Star Tank podcast. It's the light.

It's me, Chris. It's him, uh, it's him Derek. Look at all of us. What's a lot of us doing? Sitting down, like for me, around the table, like a family. Yeah, like the King Arthur and the Knights of Nothing. Yeah, basically. This is our round table.

It's a piece of shit. Yeah. That I got from Amazon for 40 bucks. Which one do you like better? This is $40? Pretty good. No, this is completely making that out. Oh, okay.

I was like, I was literally about to go buy it. No, this, I don't remember exactly. When we were putting this stuff together, I was like, whatever. Like, I'm going to buy whatever is reasonably going to, you know, be sturdy. Yeah. I didn't want like a balsa wood fucking IKEA table. I was just going to fall apart the second we started using it. One of those last and I handle straight to it through our own leg.

That's probably like around 100 maybe. Like probably not that too much, probably not too far above, but not or too far below. Not too crazy. Yeah. So we're recording this a little bit later than we normally would have. I had to fumigate my apartment because apparently there was a termite thing

and this happened the year creator clash happened I remember it happened a month before creator clash where I had like a termite thing I was like oh great I got to deal with this again same time of year literally

yeah exactly same time yeah so I was like oh I guess it's like a relatively every two years yeah every two years or something because I didn't have it last year so I don't know what the fucking deal is but so I've been out of my apartment

for like three days and it's been it's been something you're right there You sure they got all the gas out? I made sure, yeah. Yeah, we're not going to get all funny. Yeah, no, we're fine.

Even sillier than April. Dude, I told the story on the podcast before, but, like, when we had a roach problem in, like, one of our old departments and we fumigated. And, dude, like, they fumigated while I was just in my bedroom. He just opened the windows? I don't know. It's like, I think because they were just like,

well, it's just a living room that has the problem. So, like, they just didn't go into the bedrooms, I guess. I don't think that's how fumigations work. I don't think so. I don't think that's how gas works. I don't think so. To be honest, I'm pretty sure that building didn't really do half of the shit that they said that they did. I'm pretty sure that they just like came in, they looked around, they maybe like sprayed a corner or whatever.

Yeah, they came in, they nut it in a corner or whatever. Dude, they probably put those bug bombs, those shitty bug bombs. Do you ever use those? Oh, yeah, yeah. And then you just leave the room. It's probably just one of those shitty ones that didn't really get to the problem. No, absolutely. Because we had to fumigate.

How many times did we fumigate that apartment? Like three times in like, in like a couple of. couple months. Fuck. It's fucking ridiculous. The thing about, I don't know, if you eradicate all roaches,

was something bad happen? No. I refuse to believe that. I feel like something bad might happen, but I don't know what it would be. I mean, they do eat matter. So like maybe they're like a necessary thing. Maybe more trash,

but, you know, but that trash will attract less roaches. Yeah, I'll take the risk. Yeah. Same thing with mosquitoes. They're all gone.

Yeah, I don't care what happens. I feel like something really bad happens, but like I'm, I'm so woefully, like, uninvolved with what, like, I just don't care. Like, whatever. There's probably a certain species is gone or something. Oh, no.

Dogs are gone. It's not like a lynchman species. That'd be really fucked up. And, like, they're gone and like, oh, no, this kind of spider's gone. And now the amount of rapists multiplied by a billion percent. And it's like, what? So the existence of, like, one single spider directly correlates. Yeah.

To rapist population. There's like, there's like maybe four degrees of separation, but four direct degrees. for like direct degrees separation. Can we if that happens can we direct the rapist like towards a certain

demographic? Yeah. I don't want to be the person that aims rapists at people I don't know. If they already are here like even like even like I understand what you mean like there's already

there's already nooks so like if we get aimed but like I don't want to be the guy that's like well it's not that there's nooks but they're also they're active. They're ready to go. There's a countdown. Now you need to direct them somewhere. because I don't think the rapers are going to lie in.

Oh, Canada. Yeah, right. Yeah, that makes sense. Canada's a fucking Kimba, too. I was going to say the thing about school shooters kind of, right? Where you just, it's like a problem that it's like the genies out of the bottle in some way. Yes. So like how do you herd them maybe towards like a health care CEO or something?

Right. Instead of towards like how do you heard them towards Wall Street? Is it morally, like is it really morally a bad thing? Not even a little bit. I actually have heard uncontrollable evil that cannot be. In the direction of other evil I think you can place of you know Innocence I think all evil can be like co-opted But it has to be all agreed upon that it's evil

You know that's a problem we have right now what do you mean? Because like a lot of people like we we want to act like it's too But a lot of people don't consider evil evil anymore. There's straight up like evil motherfuckers that we see regularly now You know what I think it is? I understand what you're saying I I understand what you're saying but I think the people that are ignoring evil they understand it's evil. They just don't care because it's like usually coming from the party or side that they like. But say it's always when, um, it's like, uh, um, I, I didn't, I don't know why I don't get notifications from a meat canon videos, but, uh, like usually Jojo will be, oh, me canons out or something.

Yeah. And this time, it was because I was scrolling Twitter and, uh, uh, me canaan, uh, quote tweeted a guy because this guy was like, why don't you make a video about Biden, you a fat faggot or say something, you know, because of the JD. The JD Vance thing came out and it's one of those things were fucking losers. I'm like, all right, if you're aware that, let's just say Biden's problematic and he's done a lot of weird creepy shit, why are you not going to acknowledge that your guy that you're mad about? He's mad, right? He's upset that they made fun of these guys.

And you're not going to acknowledge it was JD Vance Charlie Kirk and R. R.K. Dude, the peanut thing fucking was killing me. He was just trying to give the kid the kids. With a peanut, I'll get beaten. He's like, eat the peanut. His road's closing. He must be vaccinated.

That was great, man. That was really good. It's good stuff. It's weird when people get defensive about that. I can't imagine seeing a video of somebody like, like a cartoon especially. Of like Biden looking like a freak and being like, what are you? Where's your Trump video? Do any.

I don't. I don't really consider people that are famous humans. If that makes any sense. In like the least like psychopathic way, like I detach them because I'm like, oh, they're just their figures I respect. I respect some of the art they make or the things they create, you know, but I'm not like, like who do I, like one of my favorite actors is like Sterling K. Brown, right? Who is that? Who is that? He's the dad.

Do they ever play T? Yeah. Yeah. He was the black guy in a predator movie with the autistic kid. God, that movie was ridiculous. Did you see that movie? I saw a movie in theater. I saw a movie.

I saw a. Red Light. I did all with you. You guys went to see that? No, no, no. 10 years ago. I was like, wait, I saw it with you. It's a long as time ago. I saw Red Letter Media break it down. I didn't see that movie. Dude, it was crazy. I remember sitting in that theater being like, are they serious? Like, the premise of that movie. Spoilers. Whoa. I can't even remember what that movie is called. What is it called? Predators. I thought Predators was, I thought it was the Predators was the Adjian Brody one. No, I don't know. I think it's the predator. sexual predators.

I don't know what I'm thinking of, actually. Is the predator porn called sexual predator? What do you say? Excuse me? Would the predator porn be called sexual predator? No, that's dumb. I feel like that has to be it, though. I'm like, you can't make that movie, but like...

I mean, I guess it's a double entendre. Like, he's like... Yeah, technically. So it's a predator that's sexual, but also he's... Well, no, he's not. He's praying on people sexually? He just wants to have sex. So he's a sexual predator.

So he came down not for, like, the sport of like of the hunt he wants butt he just yeah the sport of but so he tries to he fucks a um a dutch's entire squad that's essentially the movie willingly of course he asked to

right he doesn't force himself on him I hope not and then like you know that one iconic scene with a Jesse Ventura where he's like ain't got time to bleed where now it's just like I ain't got time to come I ain't got time to come yeah like he's edging crazy he's edging crazy the head is like a fucking cherry

that movie I love that movie editor one is amazing I love that fucking movie because it's like the perfect blend of just like survival horror and then dumb bullshit action especially when they blow up the jungle in the beginning we gotta blow up the jungle they lace the jungle

with explosives and I'm like you probably doomed so many species there you guys don't give it like a Henry Kizinger fucking yeah there's gonna be exploding everything from now until till the end of time Like an alien's going to step down here in two million years and step on a landmine. It's fucking explode.

Good stuff, man. It's good stuff. But that predator movie, I don't remember what it's called. I bet it's the predator. Yeah, it might be like the predator. But you know Stirling K. Brown, the leader of the military group, that black guy? I guess. I barely remember that movie, to be honest.

All I remember about that movie was that they implied that autism was the next stage in human evolution. The guy that was Armstrong Levian and invincible right now. It's a Stirling Kay Brown. Oh, okay. Well. You know what that is? I mean, he's a cartoon in that show. so I don't know

I don't know what he looks like Yeah I think I'm saying The pretitor in 2018 Yeah the predator So insane I'm trying I'm digging deep in the bag And then oh predator

You know the uncle from the Predator's is 22nd Black Panther movie The one that dad the uncle they met in New York In California that he killed Just show him a fucking picture You have your phone No I'm not going to

I'm trying to paint a picture That's why I don't want to just give him the answer I don't want to use phones anymore This guy has not been a prominent figure in enough media that I've seen for me to recognize him off rip by name or by face. Yeah. You know? Especially since he's black.

I know you don't. Especially. You don't really. I don't really fuck with black people. You probably don't absorb any much black media and I can understand that. Yeah, not really. Especially lately. I haven't really sunk my teeth in anything recently that's really kind of captured me. Yeah. As far as like black media.

I actually can't not do it. Like I'll watch content creators, but as far as like television, there's nobody's nobody's brought anything to my attention like you gotta watch this I don't even watch like black content creators right now because all of them are edging towards

having such stupid ass perspectives about shit where they're going really dry like still like even FD Signifier someone that I respect a lot Okay I do recognize shit that's so dumb sometimes And I'm like my nigga He was in Black Panther Yeah he was the uncle

Isn't he like a comedy actor? No Who does that look? He's a comedy bone But he's not a comedy actor He's from um This is uh What else is he in?

I've definitely seen that guy before I think are you Are you thinking of that he kind of looks like that, that one, is he from Zach and Cody or something? No, no. He does a little bit. He was a little bit like that guy. He was a really. He's a serious actor.

He's like a fucking. He's not done comedy before. You ever about Zach and Cody go to hell? Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. What? Yeah.

Yeah. The torturous life of Zach and Cody. Yeah. That was a sequel to Sweet Life on deck when they were on the boat. You remember that the boat, it crashes. Like they the the captain was like hey check this out Titanic 3 because there was it too nobody saw it The captain said hey check this out

Titanic 3 He said that over the last speaker And then he crashes the boat on purpose It fucking it so fast that it actually does a 360 He's in the he's in the cockpit of the boat whatever Yeah I don't know what you can call it The steering I don't know either Captain's quarters I don't know what it is

But I'm pretty sure that's not it whatever I literally have no idea. He's in the pilot seat of the boat, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's sitting there, he's like, he turned. Hi, I'm Dr. J. Goodman, and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget, or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter.

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And you know that's not normal for your child. then it might be time to give them a medication for a fever. Hear the full conversation, including so much great advice for parents when it comes to keeping their kids healthy on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch

with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I opened my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place. Everybody turns left and right, but like, I wonder.

And then the boat just, it goes, it dives. It dives, and then he drowns everybody. That's pretty cool. Curiosity just takes control of him And he's like The idea that that functionality When he would be on a boat In the first place

It's awesome Like it's a nose By the fucking function of a boat Like it's a submarine Some asshole like yeah So you could have gotten He could have went like this Flew

He could have went He could have done either or Maybe I could just Too many boat captains aren't Adventurous about it Yeah they're not daring They're not like What is it Captain Phillips

That was a that was the goal From the sea right The league digger What was his name? What was it? Nemo? Nemo? Are you having a stroke?

Yeah. From 10,000 leagues under the sea. What was his name? Captain Nemo? Or Moby Dick? What was, 10,000 leagues under the sea? Yeah, what was the captain's name from that?

I don't fucking know. Are you talking about the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen? No. Yeah, he is. He would know. That character was in it, though. Yeah. Oh, really?

Yes, he was. What character are we talking about? I'm confused. His name is Nemo, right? In that movie, I'm pretty sure. So there's a Nemo that's not connected to Dora. Or door, finding door? Finding Nimo.

We're wrong in circles. We're wrong in circles. This is a tornado of misinformation. Everything about everything that we've said so far is wrong. I think we're right. There's right. There's a lot of politics. There's correct in it, but the wrong direction.

So Captain Nemo is a fictional character from like folklore or whatever. I think he's from 10,000 leagues are saying? He's from 10,000 leagues. I think he is. Okay. Ahab is from Moby-D. Yes, there you go. Yeah, I know that.

I forgot those stories. They're so fucking dumb and gay. You can call me Ishmael. It's so dumb and gay. But yes, he's also, he's, uh, stroke me dick. That's the wheel. Moby cock. It's a cock dick at that moment.

It's like it. Peepid dick. Peepie penis weeny hole. Shut up. It's a giant penis. It's like, it's an allegory for gayness. He's a penis with a monocle on and a fucking sailor's hat. This is a stupid.

Stupidest interaction that I've had. Do you think there's a video essay of Moby Dick being a gay allegory? No, quite literally, yes. What do you mean? There has to be one. I'm pretty sure that's quite literally, yes. I'm pretty sure that is a plot point that I feel like I heard about in high school. I've never thought about that once, but only I'm just immature because there's,

maybe it's called Moby Dick because he's searching for dick. Yeah, he's searching for dick. Yeah, and he's like he can't get, you can't conquer the white whale, which is homosexuality. Yeah, exactly, a massive white dink. Or his homosexuality. Yeah, that. penis or a fat penis.

Yeah, the last one. A fat seabound penis. Ripped his ass to shreds and he wants to actually be able to take a proper big penis. We got to, you know what? Let's get one of the big video. It's on it right now. Let's commission this. As if you can do that.

From what I remember, Moby-Nobie is actually a kind of a good movie or story. Damn it. I, what is it? Moby Dick? Yeah. The film? I saw, I saw a Moby Dick in like the 90s. I don't know when it came out.

Is there a, there's a, well, I guess there would be. I don't know when it came out, but I know I saw, in the 90s and I remember almost none of it because I was too young to care. You know? Yeah, it's just some guy on the boat, right? Yeah, it was like some. And then when he finally, like, has sex with the wail,

he, like, lets it go or something. Oh, weird, yeah. He's just like, oh, I'm gay. I forgot what it was. I think, I think it's coming back to me, there is gay shit in there. That's not really, I'm pretty sure, like, what you're saying is objectively gay,

but, like, I'm pretty sure there's, like, some homosexual, like, undertones there. That could be accepted. I don't know. Back then, I don't know, man. I think they burned the gay, so I don't know. In Moby Dick Times, yeah The stupidest conversation

I've had in the last 24 hours And I've had very stupid conversations The last one's like In the last three four I said it was doing What got some questions with there? Did you see that picture I posted Of the fucking pool queue? No

Dude, I saw you what Yeah, I saw it I was playing pool at Jalens Because we were talking about like our We're talking about figuring out Our friend's bachelor party And we're just There is this pool cue

That I don't even understand What happened to it Are you good at pool? Yeah, I'm pretty good at it I was crazy, I'm not I mean, I'm not like, I wouldn't say that to like A room full of people who are good at pool Right, but I'm reasonable enough

I'm terrible at pool, I'm all right, billiards Playing pro billiards, I'm not good I played a lot When you got to call every shot, no, I can't do that But if I'm just playing casually, I'm pretty decent I had to play a lot, but I'm not good at it I had to play way too much growing up Huh?

Look at that This is fucking crazy Yeah, it exploded I don't know if you could really but like that is a wild fucking i don't know what that thing's been through but it was just in in the pool house it is in his building it's very clear it's people breaking really hard because they're just like there's there's something stupid there's something i will say there's something satisfactory about it however we um i grew up with uh pool tables my mom had uh two different

ones one was shitty and then she bought a really fucking fancy one and then i'm sure she would gamble and play and hustle and stuff. You couldn't use it. And you were like, I couldn't use the good one. Of course. That's everything. And also like taking care of the,

the cues was like, you couldn't, if you, you can't put the weights on the ground. You can't, like, you there was such a, you make sure you,

like, it was like, this is gay. Like, I don't take care of anything this much. Like, not even my dog. You know,

like my dog's wheezing in the corner. My dog is mangy. My dog looks like it's shedding all year. My dog has mange right now. Right now. Right now. My dog is immune to the mage. It's on there, but my dog is born is right now in fact. My dog is bingy in the corner. He can't breathe.

I saw a picture of Abby recently. He was laughing and then he immediately became serious. Like I saw a picture of Adam. You just forget. You just forget. You just forget. I know we've talked about it, but you don't like, you just have a picture in your head and anybody see it. Yeah, yeah. It is jarring. It's just the racial. Just the racial. of her, there's no,

there's like no fat on her body and then she just has like all the fat that's supposed to be distributed to her body is just on her tits. She looks like St. Rowe. Yeah, it looks like a character slide. Kind of cartoonish, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's funny.

It's fucking crazy. Yeah, very large breast disease. While we were playing, we were like, let's try and we were, we were pretending like we knew everything about the game. We were like, yeah, so this is a classic Simon's Folly.

So I'm gonna do like a Pilgrim's Plunge here. and hopefully he said something it was like a crucial man's longing is one of the setups crucial man's longing stupid friend

a crucial man's longing is so that is so much more cosmic we didn't we didn't for like a good hour and we kept coming up with these great names I'm sad I didn't like record all of it

because it's good shit but like the most satisfying pool break that I've ever done and it was so dumb because I didn't score anything it was just satisfying to see it happen

was like I missed it Right, like I hit the ball fucked up. I was breaking and the ball jumped. You ever do the jump? Yeah. And it like hit the middle and then it like kind of all spread. I was like that was so satisfying. Yeah. I didn't score anything, but I was just like that's so fucking cool.

It's cool. It's cool. Yeah. I'm really bad at pool. Mick is really good at pool. Is it really? I think I've ever played pool. Of course he's good at pool. What do you mean? Of course. It's like why he's like, oh, because chopsticks. Well, maybe not. But maybe not that.

Maybe not that. Maybe he's just very good at pool. He's a fucking lived guy. I like my explanation better. He's the live the guy. I think that's correct. Yeah. Chopsticks, duh. And that's like.

Asian chopsticks. I get my head really hard. It's just large chopsticks. Boom. Duh. Duh. Bloody pop and everything. You ever see?

Dudes eat their food with two poolkins. Getting grains of rice. That's literally. They're picking up individual. You know what's going to bother you about that? What you just said? That's literally a Jerry Seinfeld stand up bit from like. the 80s.

Really? Yeah. We're talking about how like the Chinese are really hanging in there with the chopsticks because they've seen the fork

and you're not plowing 40 acres with a couple of pool cues and that's the bit. Stupid. It's just moving to say it's just it's dumber.

It is without any of the funny silly flourish. It's more of it's a billionaires. That would have ended up on the floor you know like of my life.

Yeah. Yeah. We would have ended up on the cutting room floor. Yeah. And then we would have came with something like that or gay.

And then the executive in the audience, the executive of the audience would be like, these guys suck. They can't get a show. You can't give these guys a show. These retards don't deserve a fucking program. They've never been to Israel. Can you believe that Puerto Rican and those two black guys have not been to Israel? Can you fucking believe it? We got a tone, dude.

We got a hit a Ben, we got to hit Ben Shapiro. Take us. Take us to fucking Israel and Auschwitz. Does it converse convert. If we, can you, I, do you want to convert to? There is no version of Kingston. I would be like, yeah. I'm not learning any of the Torah.

That's all. You can cheat, right? If I could, if I could like read it on whatever, because don't you have to like recite some shit or something? If I can like read it on the phone and I'll do it. You put in the chat GP Torah. It'll do it all for you. I hate how well that just rolls off the tug.

GPTor. It does kind of worry. It sounds like a curse. It sounds like a fucking enchantment. It kind of does. It probably is going to be careful. Don't say anything else after it. You can't say it three times or else.

He'll show up. Jesus Christ. Chat Gipitor. Jesus Christ will show up. We'll be like, Ouch, my hands. Just a fucking android with dreidels. Let's go.

Little curls. But it's wires. It's what? Oh. Wired. That's crazy. That is lower right there, man. Is it a firewire cable at the end of it or what is it?

It's got to be some obsolete cable. It's got to be some naggy, like. Firewire cable. Yeah. I kind of want one just to have one. just to have one, just for nostalgia purposes. That would be like an amazing gift. It would be like a fire alarm cable.

It's like, whoa. That's what that hard drive takes. That's why I still don't know what's in that hard drive. I still don't know. I don't know what a court cause. Not much, but it's so. It's got to cause nothing. Here's the thing about it.

It's like even if it's $4. It's $4 that I'm going to use for just that thing. And then what if that doesn't even work anymore? You know what I mean? Right now that's right now. You don't have the longing to know? I have a crucial man's longing to know But this is right now

This is like my old hard drive My Lacey Hard Drive It says it sounds like many of these Because this wrote some fucking We had to name Marthe We had to put like labels on it And everyone put their names on it But like there was like four chrises

And so it bothered me So I just put some random fucking bullshit But But this is my old film school hard drive So there's like a bunch of There's probably a bunch of crazy footage on here But like It's a fire

It only takes firewire Firewire microUS That specific That specific That one micro oh man that's so that is so ancient and I don't even know what the fuck like that is I'm so like it's just all these cables that I I haven't seen since 2011 I'm sure Lily's dad has those wires well I'm sure he does I have I have that weird I forget

which I forgot what you call this one but I have it because I have a 2004 hard drive that takes the same thing yes it's not micro it's mini it's mini or something it might be it might be many yeah I think it is many But the thing is, like, Mini and Micro both sound like they're smaller than both than each other. Right. You know, like Micro sounds smaller than Minnie, and Minnie sounds smaller than Micro. I think Mini sounds bigger than Micro. I think Micro's really small.

I agree, kind of, but I also don't. I only think that just because I know what micro means. Yeah. But, like, if I were just, like, hearing from the words, I wouldn't, I wouldn't really. Yeah. And you didn't connect it to microscopic. Yeah. Right.

It would, it wouldn't sound as small. But it's, I mean. It is. But it is. We understand. I mean, we're living in America. Yeah. So what?

We're living in a very illiterate place. That's very true. It's quite literally. Don't catch some junk, jacking off. This is America. I just saw the Nicole Arbor one. Do you?

Oh my God. I haven't thought about that in fucking forever. I follow this Instagram page is called like, I forgot like bad songs or whatever the fuck. It just does bad songs. It just posts multiple songs. Get this, guys. It posts bad songs.

Yeah. I'm glad you said that because they would have figured it out. But it's opened my world to a lot of shit that I never heard of. Like a they not like us by a cop that the dude essentially sounds like he just woke up. So it's the only black dude on the force. And then like he's just like, sometimes he got it. And I'm just like, what the fuck is this? The music video is all energetic.

He's like reverse scatman kind of. He's mumbled slowly. It is insane how I'm like, who approve this? There's a whole music video where the squads there, they're all hyped and shit, but he's like, he's whispering. Yeah, he's backwards scatman. He's manscat. And it's not, ha ha ha, man scat.

Man scat. I can't. And he's just like, he's just shit in a human form. Is that what that is? He's like the chocolate guy from one of the, I forget what movie was when a man was made of chocolate. The chocolate man. The chocolate man, yeah.

The film. Yeah. Volume one. That's the horror film where you say chocolate man five times in the mirror, right? A frightened and black man shows up. Yeah. He's like, why am I here? Why am I here?

Yeah. And everybody's freaking out him trying to kill me. He's like, no, no, I was in my bedroom. I don't want to be here. Do you know what I keep, I keep seeing this clip on Twitter where it's, it's a Tim Curry from a scary movie. Scary Movie 2, I think. Fuck yeah. Where it's like, I didn't know that that was what I was.

It's been a while since I've seen that movie. I love that shit. But it's, it's that scene where he's like, him and David Cross are in the room. He's like, David Cross is like, you got to come see this. Tim Guy, I showed it to you. You crack it up. It was like, Tim Curry's like, want to you did. Ditties?

What is it? He's a pussy wild. He's excited. You heard him running. You hear him getting there. The amount of giddiness that he exudes is insane. He's such a massive pervert in that. in that movie.

Like, they're all, like, they have, like, surveillance to monitor all the kids and stuff like that. And then, like, and then he shows, like, the one. And as you requested, the one in the shower, David Cross.

Yeah, yeah. And he's like, oh, like, you press a button and it zooms in. And the sound that Tim Curry makes, like, like, he makes this, like, pervert, the most pervert laugh,

smile thing that I've ever heard. His voice is perfect. Like, it's so great. I love that he's such a serious actor while also being so capable of doping around. Yeah, yeah. He's like, this is funny. That was Leslie Nielsen back in the day.

I had no idea. I've never seen him in anything serious. Well, dude, that was his... General Hospital. His first half of his entire career, like when he was young. Which is impossible to imagine. I've never seen it and I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it.

Although even when he was young, he looked old. He was like one of those... He's always been white. He was like... Oh, he was like... He was born white. Yeah. Steve Martin was like had white hair since...

Since he was 14. Remember those farther the bride movies and shit? I don't, like, in peace. Hi, I'm Dr. Jake Goodman, host of Beyond the Script, the podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer the health questions you didn't even know you could ask at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, we are diving into gut health with CVS pharmacist, Victoria Motola, who explains why so many of us live with stomach issues

we should not accept as normal. A lot of what I see is just like chronic bloating, chronic stomach aches. Like I get a stomach ache every time that I eat. And it just becomes like a lifestyle where, oh, yeah, you know, I just have a stomach ache every day. Or I'm constantly feeling like gassy. And all of those things are not something that generally, if you have a healthy gut,

you should be living with. So that's when we deep dive. We deep dive into your medication. We deep dive into your OTC medication. And then at that point, we can probably identify something that we can change. Hear the full conversation plus some fast, fascinating facts about how gut health affects so much more than just your stomach on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy and IHeart Radio. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a Listen So we sat there Listening That was the first time I learned that quiet Can feel full

Hershey's It's your happy place I thought he was I thought he was like a million years old then Apparently not No I think he's still alive I think Martin is very much alive I just haven't seen him in anything

I don't think he does anything It was just on SNL for the 50th No shit Yeah Oh Because they had that 50th anniversary of SNL And everybody came back How was

Did you watch it? I mean I never watch it I watched the clips Because the clips are usually It's like it's like kind of like a built-in filtration system Yeah Where you don't have to sit through like this shit that sucks Right

But uh, it was fine problem I did the thing with Scarlett Johansson and her husband That was funny Oh, with the weekend update Yeah weekend updates are always pretty good actually Like that's the only thing that I go out of my way to like watch Because it's actually like really Ryan Reynolds

They were married for a while Scott Jones and Ryan Reynolds I had no idea They're married I have no concept of celebrity relationships I didn't know that I was like, I only know things that I had no hope of avoiding, like, Brandelina, you know what I mean?

Where, like, that was a thing that you would hear and you'd be like, I guess that's the thing. And it's always, they do a movie together, they start fucking, they start dating. Yeah, like clockwork. They get married and then they get divorced because obviously spending three months together is cool, but that doesn't signify that you're going to work. Especially when you're pretending to be different people. You're like, wow, we really, our fake people really get along. That's kind of crazy.

The person that you're pretending to be who isn't you, with the person that I pretend to be that isn't me or really getting a log well? We should get together and fuck forever. I understand the fucking part. Like, yeah. That makes sense to me. But like, oh, like, that's not like, come on. I actually can't conceptualize how people are able to compartmentalize that in some way.

What do you mean? Like actors. Like, I don't know. It's like an impressive skill to me. Like to be able to be like, all right. I'm out. You know what I mean? It's,

it's a role than be don't the role. It can feel. It feels not natural. It's like, oh, I'm going to connect with people. But it's all to be pretend. But see, that's exactly. It's not. That's why these motherfuckers get in relationships get married.

I guess so. I think it just takes a level of like social understanding that like this is a role. Yes. But it's hard. But that's antithetical to like how you naturally exist. Yeah. It's like that's swimming against the current. Yeah.

It's what I'm saying. I got to be like good at it. I think I could do it because I would be. I'd probably be like the people that are just completely locked in my trailer. So I'm not necessarily making a connection. I'm just on set for those, those, because most of the time on set is you in your trailer, waiting for shit to get set up.

Sure. Which is fucking like, really annoying. Like, so I also get a little annoyed because people talk about like, oh man, 12, 16 hour days. I'm like,

yeah, but you're not doing anything. You're not like, like, it's, a big thing about that is like hurry up and wait. Yeah. Hurry up and wait.

It's just like you're sitting there for like seven hours. And then on the seventh hour, you got to go. Now let's go. And you, hopefully. For me the makeup show would kill me. Hopefully you're not.

I couldn't do that. That's, that's very, that's very difficult. They would have to do a lot for you because, like, to get you to be a white person would be a lot. I don't have to be a white person. Ew. Dude, who's going to cast a black person? Tyler Perry, fucking, he's dead. Isn't he dead, though?

Didn't he don't he kill him? What? We're all assuming, like, Steve Martin's dead. Tyler Perry's dead? Steve Martin's very old. I thought, I thought somebody killed 46. That's not true. I've seen movies of his, definitely 50 years of.

Go. Yeah, that's impossible. Like, cheaper by the desert or it? That's my true. What the fuck are you talking? You sit here, look, listen to me. Look at me in the eye and tell me that Cheapy by the doesn't, it doesn't feel like 50 years ago.

You know, it's really crazy. Lily watched that movie yesterday. For the first time? No. She's like some movie. Okay. Well, I mean, I don't care then. Is it?

Well, bring it as ironic because you're bringing it. She's fucking by the dozen. You stupid motherfucker. I can't. Is it a pedophile or something? No. has the like holding like 12 kids in his basement? What is this version of?

Is it? What did they did I? Does your house a different reality where every film that got brought in there? It would like go through this wormhole to become a pedophile movie. He's got the Rick and Morty Cable Box. Yeah. You put in you put in Barney and Barney's raping the kids and you're like, I hate Barney. Is that?

I hate Borny. Wait, didn't that actually happen though? You're telling me that I've been experiencing things different from you. Yes. Do you mean to tell me? You tell me that Steve from Blue's Clues, is it raping every prop that's in his fucking house? Like he has sex with a chair before he checks his mail. Is it you or is it mad at that moment?

That's blues clues, but it's a legal show. And it's about the clues of the crime. Oh, so it's like, it's like 13 reasons why, but Blue's Clues is diary. Perry Mason bullshit from back in the day. That is way crazier than what I think you even understand what you're saying. I don't know what he said. 13 reasons why, but Blue's clues. Like the dog killed himself and they're going through his diary.

That's awesome. Blue killed himself and he's spitting on a fan when it comes out. I always love the idea of somebody hanging on a ceiling fan and is turned on. Yeah. Turned on high. The idea that it would. You got to get past them to turn it off. So you're getting kicked by it.

It's like, idiot. That they weigh. You do the. You know, when you're like Try to like stick your hand in the fan and not get hit It's doing it to the corpse. It's moving too bad. That's so like

High key respect. Is that a light person or a sturdy fan? Extremely sturdy fan. I think it's yeah one of the best fans overbuilt like Yeah. Like Francisco did an amazing job like to screwing that shit in. It's like the fan is like more it's more akin to a jet engine than a fan. Right.

Like that's a fan but it's like that that thing has properties. As is customary. Yeah. Like standing in the room if you're not in the middle of the room, the air gets dinner.

It's why you're talking how much it's spinning. Now I'm curious how old fucking what's his faces. Steve Martin? I saw the stupid porn video from the last time

that we were. Oh, the iconic one. Yeah, the iconic mode. That thing was stuck on my uh, I know,

I was sitting in our text chat and it was like very jarring. It was. But, uh, look at the text out, I'm like, I'm just gonna,

uh, you gotta, I post something and let this shit go away. Sometimes you start posting shit in general. Sometimes you just have to, sometimes something's sitting in the chat for a while. You just have to like spam until it goes away. And then you're like, okay, good. It's out of my line of sight.

Steve Martin. Oh, damn, he's 79 years old. That's actually crazy. To me, he's just, he's looked like he was. He was born the day World War II ended. Oh, wow. I'm not even joking. Well, another day, maybe.

I don't know. The year. The year. The year. 1945 is crazy for somebody to be alive still. I'd be bored. Yeah, he's going to get a lot of politician.

That's fucking crazy. That is kind of crazy, though. It's terrifying. It's like, I just, I feel so bad for Bernie where you know that nigga just wants to rest. You know, he just wants it.

He has yearning. You can see the yearning in his eyes for death. He hasn't given his spark to someone worthy yet. There's not enough people that are like, oh, I understand that I absolutely don't want to do this, but I know it needs to be done. Yeah.

Because that's all he's doing. Who the fuck has time for that? Yeah. Well, I mean, that's the thing. like him, right? He clearly would probably like to go hunting in Vermont and chill. Right, but that's only because he doesn't know how to use his phone. Is that what it is?

Yeah, yeah. I think if Bernie knew how to use his phone, he wouldn't even care about it. Is that what it is? He'd be like, look at this ape. Look at this ape making rattled snake sounds. It's insane. Look this monkey making fax machine noises. Isn't this hysterical?

I'm losing my shit. Oh, my God. To this video of this monkey. Catch me outside. That was so funny. That was so great. I want to go home now. What is this neon cat?

I don't. I don't understand this. What does this mean? Did you see the way Sharkey Shitter? Have you seen Pokedy Mane? Pokey Mane. Beautiful woman.

Very beautiful. Have you seen the people jacking off to her pictures on the phone? Have you heard of Com tributes? That's... When he goes up there and says that I would have to die,

I would have to die. It's crazy. Dude, I would die for him if he said that. Yeah, yeah. If he started talking about cum tributes, I'd be like, that's my guy.

They would try to crucify Bernie and I would jump in front of the cross. You jump in front of the cross. So guy has no understanding of how crucifation works. Oh, that's how it works? No. They think they shoot crosses at people and then they just end up like that. That's a crazy way to go though. Have you seen the meme where it's like the soldier blocking like the shots of fire on his back?

Of course. That's like me to Bernie. 100%. Don't worry, Bernie. Keep watching your head, Tyberny. I'll protect you. That's me with Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, the racist one. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Me too. I love that. I like that. We're on the same page. Because I don't know any, I don't know much younger people that are really hostile about the second one. But I know like, Gen X specifically, people in that are like, yeah, fuck that movie. And I'm like, I mean, I'm a generation that should be X down.

That was me. That was me with, that was me with Star Wars episode three until people started. of liking it in mass consciousness. What do you mean? Oh, you were defending it? I was defending it for a long time. And people were like, this movie's ass.

And I was like, I don't, I mean, it's, it's definitely like progress is fast. All of them, in my opinion, but. I think it's the only one that's not better than it is episode five. But I do understand how silly that movie is because Anakin goes from being a hero to three days later, a mega Hitler in space. That's the thing.

When you don't have time, when you don't have time, they always got a shoehorn that shit in really quick. And it always looks bad. And at this point, I don't know if Disney still hasn't learned because they're doing series, but I guess people aren't happy with them. Every single franchise.

They're doing series because I guess I kind of skipped what I part that was left in my brain that a lot of these movies should have been series. Yeah, 100%. And then now Disney's doing series, but people still aren't happy with them, so they're still not getting something right? Because they're doing series for characters that like no one. No one gives a fuck about?

Who cares about fucking, I don't know. A lot of those shows are fucking stupid. Which Jedi's? That wasn't interesting to you? Which Jedi is or something? Oh, well, they weren't jettas? What were they? They did Acolyte.

Acolytes? What the fuck were they? Were the witches or something? The Akely. It was like the more to the, uh, the non-dogmatics of force stuff. Not dogmatic, uh, esoteric as a better word. Where there's like people that use magic. Which in Star Wars has always been magic.

Well, there's been magic. What they were doing wasn't connected to the force. It was like to the force, but it was done via magic. Like, is that not the same thing? Do I understand this universe at all? It is. It is what it isn't. It's like the force is like a idea of more of a spiritual interaction opposed to like there's literally like spell and brew and witchcraft type shit.

Let me ask you a question. Who manipulate the force, which is essentially the same thing. Okay. Let me ask you a question. Did they, uh, have they dismissed the metaclorean thing? Or is that? I haven't mentioned this since episode, uh, since episode six before, really, whenever, yeah, whenever that was. Four, I haven't really met.

Episode four, not four. You mean, yeah. simply one. That said was stupid. And that was like, it's still canon though. I'm pretty sure. Is it canon? Because Quigon's character is still canon and that's like what he brings to the story. Right. Well, I mean, but he's he's taken. You know, he's like, hey, I'm taking. I'm taking. I took dude. I took. He was hunting black people. He's not a hunting black people. Leoneisen as Quigon jing. He got a particular set of skills to hunt black people. Quigonjin dies and wakes up as the taken guy. And he's like, what's going on?

Lee Nieson, as Quigong Jin roaming the streets at night, looking for a black person to assault, is red-up. He has a lightsaber. There's this guy walking home from the deli, and he's like, where are you from? Where are you from, boy? And then he's like, what, black and Irish? Was this when he was in like, he's from Ireland, right? I think he's a Scott, but I can be wrong. No, no, no, he's not.

Black and Irish. Yeah, he's. Blyrish? Iraq? He was looking for Blyrish people. Black, Bli-Rack? What are we saying? Why did you say that? Why did you say that?

Because I was combining two words that are similar. So did I. Why did you say Iraq? Irish, black, Iraq. Are you stupid? Oh, that's clever. That's clever. I guess. That's a little higher brow. Yeah, that's clever.

It's above your brain waves. It was above everybody's. Yeah, because it made a word that already exists. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Through itself. I know. It's a devil. Well, it's not a double.

It's a, it's too singular, entangras. It's not a double entendre. It's just a combination of words. It's two words. This is a double entendre. It's the word. No concept of what a double entendre is. You just think it's two words put together. Iraq is crazy. I are A-C-K.

That's crazy. Interesting. Good job, Chris. Anyway. I'm proud of you. For the first time. Do you know what I had yesterday? Come here. I had this, I had this fucking smoked brisket cassidia. Oh, sounds delicious.

Had a fucking... Were you in Pasadenaena? No, I was in, Whittier? Okay. Whittier. At this place called Smoke and Fire.

And that shit is crazy. I can't remember the last time I have like, I know smoking fire. I know, I know, really?

Yeah. Dude, yeah. Dude. Yeah. I haven't tried that. I had their chicken sandwich. I was disappointed

because it was like, but that's, that's a, that was on me. Because places like that a lot of times. Yeah, it's a barbecue place. Yeah. They have,

um, it's just like, it's like, it's like raising cane. where it's like, oh, it's fine. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like, it's fine piece of chicken, but it's not.

It's not their thing. Yeah, it's not their thing. You go there for the brisket. You go there for smoked stuff. Pulled pork barbecue and shit like that. Yeah. So I fucked up. I understand it though, because I was tempted for the chicken.

Because I was just like, I'm always tempted by a chicken sandwich. A chicken sandwich is so like, generally reliable. I just like, I know I'm going to have at least like a decent time with this. This will be edible. Exactly. It will be edible, but yeah. A lot of these chicken places are just,

they're not, they're not hidden, especially. my same thing is always the flavor is all in their sauce or whatever and I'm not a huge sauce guy and so I'm like when the base is not seasoned properly I'm so disappointed

I'm so fucking best chicken ever still I went to that stupid God of War art gallery thing way too small and I'm sure there was health like fire code violations oh sure yeah so like especially here it was so insane that I'm like I just

we're all gonna die if one little thing goes wrong so like anyway but uh why aren't there people doing stuff like that anymore like where are the real crazies at we're like people yeah like where like where are they at they're in politics

yeah they figured that they're like I could get in these high positions and cause the most damage because like there's no just like free flow and evil niggas no more like I don't like yeah well there are step up do I do I have to do I have to a lot of them are dumb and they're in jail because they're not like meticulous

you know they they fuck up unlike uh our country has a really deep need for slave labor so they get picked up real quick yeah yeah yeah why don't we own any prisons man can we invest in one well we own would that be crazy I couldn't bring myself to on the prison I think I think I would suicide myself no that that would be I wouldn't suicide I mean I'll take the shares yeah I wouldn't suicide myself

I wouldn't get involved in it I would just be I would just be spending money to kill myself how do you get to that point wait let's start an indie prison How many? What's the backscow capacity? What do we got? Like 14. 14.

That's probably a decent amount to like really be some good passive income. Yeah, I get some license plates going. Yeah. I don't know what the fuck. Silly Puddy or whatever. We bring silly Puddy back. I don't know. They brew.

Yeah, where they have them make that anymore? Different vats of like, this is our special silly Puddy and this is the glow in the dark version. Yeah. I would definitely draw. uranium in it. Do they make silly pudding anymore? They must, right? They must play.

They have kinetic sand and shit. Hi, I'm Dr. Jake Goodman, host of Beyond the Script, the podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer the health questions you didn't even know you could ask at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, we are diving into gut health with CVS pharmacist, Victoria Motola, who explains why so many of us live with stomach issues we should not accept as normal. A lot of what I see is just like chronic bloating, chronic stomach aches. Like I get a stomachache every time that I eat.

And it just becomes like a lifestyle where, oh, yeah, you know, I just have a stomachache every day. Or I'm constantly feeling like gassy. And all of those things are not something that generally, if you have a healthy gut, you should be living with. So that's when we deep dive. We deep dive into your medication. We deep dive into your OTC medication. And then at that point, we can probably identify something that we can change. Hear the full conversation, plus some fascinating facts about how gut health affects so much more than just your stomach on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy and IHeart Radio.

Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I opened my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full.

Hershey's, it's your happy place. Kinetic, I remember really wanting that shit. I was a kid. I never had it. So badly. Yeah, I never got that either. But like it looked so cool to me. Like the Kinetic Sand.

It was that and it was Moon Shoes. I wanted those so bad. And my grandma was like, fuck me. Even in the commercials, when I was a kid, even in the commercials for moon shoes, I thought like, that doesn't really look that high. Like, that doesn't look crazy. They weren't high at all. No. I want them so bad.

But it wasn't enough to fool me is what I'm saying. They got some original silly putty. How expired is that? Yeah. Silly. Silly nutty. They also have some. Like, when does that expire?

Like, when does it become unsafe to eat? Silly nutty. That's so stupid. You said silly nutty. Nuddy. I just bring us some wacky asshole, like, coming, like, all, like, he's, like, coming in silly potty, but, a box and sending him out. Boxing. He was open a thing, and he just come.

How long, how long does a silly party, like, when does that become unsafe to eat? Immediately. Immediately. But it gets worse, presumably. Yeah, but it's already, but you said what is to become like. It looks like gum. Like, this flavor. That can be silly nutty.

Dude, you know what I, I had one of these. Did you? And I, you know what I would always do with it? I would make it, because I had a Majin boo. And so I would make it like the Majin boo kind of like the goo shit. So I would like, I would like absorb like people with him.

It actually was fun. Whoa, what the hell happened there? What? Burst. How, though? I drank something that he was fucking bursted. They just burst. They just, that was funny.

That dude, that water's been edging, just couldn't hold it back anymore. We would be gargling because it was. Have you seen the water bottle that you open and water shoots out of it immediately? No. No. What is the, what are you talking about? Why would you want that? He flip open.

He broke it somehow. Somehow he fucked with the bottle or he put so much pressure in it somehow. Okay. And you flip it open and just oozes out. And I'm like, that's like. And it was just regular water wasn't like partially frozen or anything? Maybe. I don't know.

We couldn't see the whole thing. It was like one of the, um, like the thermuses. Oh. Because if it, if it's partially frozen, that can happen because of the pressure from the ice. weighing down the water and then you take it out and the water pops out. Yeah, I love throwing ice if you were not paying attention. It's good. It's great because it's also, there's no evidence of the crime. We would throw ice. You hit someone really hard with ice and then it melts away.

I lived on the Grand Concourse. We were a dumb kid. You were stupid kids. We lived on a Grand Congorce. We would get bored. We would just throw ice into the concourse. That's so crazy. A little pieces, not big pieces of ice. Oh, sure. One time I threw in a hit a cop car and I ran upstairs immediately. And I was like, I'm going to die right now. I was like, you literally could have have died. It was like a lighthouse scene where he's looking up and he's like a fucking turret pops out outside of the top of the car.

Man, I'm mad to one like fucking punisher. Yeah, exactly. Armed and gay. Water's dangerous man. Like I saw a guy at the spot recently slip in the shower. That's so funny but not funny. Like he was young. It wasn't like a fucking old guy.

But he hit back of his head. For me it's the back head. It was like a side. All right good. You got to adjust because if you hit the back and head is off. They're over. Yeah, back of the head is scary. So you got to make, as I've seen it happen before.

People have died getting knocked out on the streets from just... You guys are in a spa shower? Huh? You guys ever been in like a spa shower? No, I'm stroking at all the hour. No, I'm stroking it all the time. You're stroking it?

Yeah. Why would I not? You're the reason why there's all this jellyfish all over the ground, you fucking freak. Not just come. It's just come. There's nothing special about it. It's not just not.

Don't sort of coat my art, all right? It's just come. How dare you call it jellyfish? Exactly, you bastard. You fucking piece of shit. It's come. It's vast and piles of come. It's such a classic Kingston improv.

It is. Like, no, let me explain the joke. No, I don't want people to fucking misconstrue. It's not a lot of people to spray my heart, right? I know what I'm doing. He's looking out for the tism folks. Yeah. That may have thought that it was actually jellyfish on the floor.

Wow. How is he making jellyfish? Yeah. Yeah. Spot showers are weird. Do you think Stretch Armstrong has made anyone gay? Like, as a kid. My only context for that is the secret life of Walter Middy.

I don't know what that is. The movie with Ben Stiller. Oh. It's very good, actually. Is it? I like it. If you went like 2014? A series.

No, this is like, I think it was actually famously like one of the last movies that was like shot on film as like a standard. Like there's some movies now that come out of this like shot on film. But like I think it's like an industry standard. It was like the last one that be shot on film before the. I think it's like 2000. Mid-2000s maybe. The secret life of Walter Middy Walter Middy

It's like a It's an adaptation of like a short story There's like an original one from like 1950s With like Danny Kay and shit And I watched that one too And it was not as good I'm sure On account of it

Being fucking old It's like watching Noseferatu The 1930s ones It's being terrified The worst The picture of He's always looks scary to me But then like when I would watch the film

You look like a fucking idiot Like he'd always look like he's like, he's entirely silent too. Yeah, complete silent film. There's no score or anything. I'd beat the fuck out of that no swaratu.

I'd beat, I'd beat his ass. It's kind of creepy. It was scarier and SpongeBob to me, actually. It wasn't scary. That smile broke that moment. That smile broke that moment. Up until the smile,

because like when he's there, it's kind of like, like the you're not, like the courage of cowardly dog stuff where it's like the you're not perfect and like the King Ramsey's where it's like he doesn't belong so it's kind of scary

just because of that. But the smile, does ruin it. And they did stuff with him later, I guess. Like, No, they brought him back? He's like a recurring character now. I've never seen that. Yeah, like, it's very weird. Like, it doesn't hit the same, obviously. Nospheratu. It has the energy of like when, uh, when they would do like down by the river on S&L, like the Chris Farley sketch. Uh-huh. Okay. I live in a van down by the river. It's like, and the person said, that's really, that's good. It's great. And then they do it like 12 more

times, you know? Like the my leg. You ever see that episode of the SpongeBob? I don't know I said the SpongeBob. That episode of SpongeBob where they focus on the My Leg guy. I don't think I've seen that one either. He's a constant figure. He's been a constant figure. So now he has an identity.

Yeah, like now it's like there's like a whole episode where he just says my leg the whole time. Oh. And it's like, it's not very. See, that's when, he kind of ruined it by acknowledging it in some way.

Is SpongeBob still on? Like the, are they still making? No. I actually don't know. I don't like Spongebob. You think it had like a series finale? No way.

They would never end it. They would never definitively. They would never close the book entirely because they want to be able to open it back up again once it gets back. But like the funny thing is you. Let me ask chaty PT will know. Nothing matters anymore. Like there's no finality. Like when people, even when people like, that's it, they just, Futurama.

Like, that's it. Oh, I forgot that shit came back. I didn't even watch it. Neither did I. Because I just, I was so satisfied. I saw they did a crypto episode and I was like, no. Oh, really? I'm not doing it.

Of course they did. Look, it's probably, it might be good. I just, season 10, it so perfectly. I'm like, why don't fucking stop? Them redoing it. Okay, so. And then John DiMaggio almost wasn't even in it. He wasn't. He was like, but he got a fat contract and he came back. They had to beg him.

What the fuck is this? What was it saying? It's just it gives me so much. Oh, it's like, how blah, blah, blah. Okay, I said simplify this. It's just like, yes, SpongeBob SquarePants is still running. Season 15 premiered in July of 2024. only 15. It's kind of surprising.

And the show was renewed for season 16. A Nygloane released new specials for the 25th anniversary. And the SpongeBob movie Search for SquarePants is coming December in December 2025. So December of this year. So this shit is still going strong. And they said, look, man, it's not

reaching Simpsons. It's not the Simpsons yet. Yeah. But it's approaching. Well, you can hear it in SpongeBob's voice. You're like, you're not a... Oh, he's been doing that shit for too long, man. Yeah, he's like, duh. Duh Dude, even Clancy Brown's gonna get pretty fucked after a while

Like he's getting up there He's pretty old Yeah, it's gonna be that moment where like He's supposed to sound old in the show But it doesn't help that he's actually old It's like Mr. Burns Yeah Where it's like now it just sounds sad

Like now it's just like I want him to die Guys Not even because he's evil just for like This simple piece Go away, you guys have enough bags Smithers Give it to somebody else at least Get a gun

Smith is no problem I'm being gay smithers right now. Can I shove a gun up my ass, Mr. Burns? I remember finding out he was gay through that episode and being like, oh. In episode one of season one? And like, really, like, very, the first episode? The first episode was Smithers is gay. Yeah, I forgot about that.

What was that episode when they, like, when he went to the club and you like, it's like a hundred percent proof. He's like hiding in a corner like that's like, I mean, he's like, Oh, that's, yeah, that's a, um. It's like season four, right? No, that's, that's actually from a, uh, that's a very, that's a much, uh, more later. Oh, really?

Yeah. That's way later. Because I remember they do the whole episode where it's like insinuated, he's gay the whole time. No, it might be like a late 90s or early 2000s episode. They do it. Yeah, it's much more.

The subtlety of it was much more like him having a dream about it, which was like mirrored after, I forgot, movies. You know, they always do references. Yeah. Fucking, he needs to log onto his computer.

And then it's fucking Mr. Burns like shirtless and he's like, oh, Smithers, you're quite good at turning me on. And then he says to Lisa, uh, no just ignore that like that like little things like that

we're like okay and just ignore that please yeah let's ignore that we're not gonna talk about this right now and we're probably not gonna be ready to talk about this as society for many many years spreader and bench appear without any of the good trade with like all the only good trade

dude I saw that episode where like I saw a recent episode of like where Flanders was talking and it's like they kind of unflanderized him what's like he just doesn't sound like he sounds like a different person just sounds like some dude going like my what's up

it's me Ned Flanders. You remember me? All right. So I'm going to... Oh, my God. I'm going to watch the latest episode of The Simpsons, whatever is the last one of assassinated by a group of writers. By a group of writers.

Hi, it's me. He says it. A group of writers. Oh, yeah, I forgot. She was on a show when she died. Yeah, they killed his wife for no reason, really. She got killed. Why did they kill her?

Why? Yeah. I don't know why they did it. It's like, that's too happy. Yeah, I'm not sure exactly why they did that because I was stupid. And I'm not sure if you're so happy for your God. The way he's... The way she died is ridiculous, too.

Do you remember how she died? I completely remember. I don't remember. I have no clue. I have no clue. Take a guess. You know, I know. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know if you get struck by lightning. No, no. So at least that would have been. That would have been at least like an act of God. A little more plausible to the story of like, oh shit, did God do this or something? So they were at like, I don't remember the baseball game or like some sports game. I don't remember.

But they were sitting in the bleachers and Homer standing in front of her. Hi, I'm Dr. J. Goodman. And I'm the host of Beyond the script. A podcast. where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about pediatric health, Heidi Martinez, a CVS pharmacist from Edinburgh, Texas, talked about how parents can help manage their kids fever.

When it comes to fevers, it would just depend on the child's behavior as well as the number that the thermometer is kicking back. If the child is behaving normally and there's not having any obstruction to their lifestyle that they usually lead, then maybe a fever reducer might not be necessary. If you see that later on in the day, it progresses to mom, dad, I'm not feeling well. I need to lay down. And you know that's not normal for your child. Then it might be time to give them a medication for a fever. Here are the full conversation, including so much great advice for parents when it comes to keeping their kids healthy on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there. listening.

That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's. It's your happy place. And he, like, on the bleachers. And she's like at the very top. And so he goes like, there's a t-shirt cannon guy. And he goes like, hey, let me get a t-shirt.

But then he like bends down and ducks. And then it hits his wife and then she flies off the back of the bleachers and dies. Spoilers. Spoilers. For the Simpsons. Falls to her death. I don't remember. I don't remember.

that moment, but I do remember the funeral of like the picture of her on like the freak at the pew episode, I remember that like moment. I remember that moment from like the Simpson. I can't believe we didn't talk about this. We saw the monkey. The monkey!

Have you seen this movie? The monkey. Oh God. Dude. Oh God. It is. It's a trip. That was a fun fucking movie.

How did that remind you of the Simpsons? He's at funeral. And there's like, so. There's so many... This movie's crazy. I actually highly recommend going to see this in the theater. It's the most fun movies I've seen in a while. It's a fun fucking movie,

but it's a movie about like a killer, like a toy monkey, like a drum, you know, monkey and it like it haunts this family and it like kills everybody. It is so fucking funny. There are moments...

And it's supposed to be. Like, for a while I was like, is this supposed to be funny? Mm. And then at the end it's like, oh, they know what they know.

Well, the whole time it's supposed to be funny. Especially at the end. The end is insane. Like there's a, it's a movie. I highly recommend it. There's a moment in the end that's so meta-commentary-esque. And, like, the kid is, like, stressed.

Like, he's, like, at the peak of, like, yo, like, things are bad. Just because they're bad. Like, they're just bad. I just want to mention. And then you see a figure that just doesn't make sense. That's fair. Yeah, there's a terrible way to describe that.

But, yes. It's a good. If you're kind of, like, cynical about movies or whatever, and you're just like, ah, movies aren't funny anymore. It's like, I really do recommend, like, with a group of people just go into this movie. Because it is so damn entertaining. It's been a while since I've seen a movie that's entertaining.

Like, genuinely. There's several moments in a movie that are like, what the fuck is happening? It's very good. I don't know if it's good, but it's, you know, it's good. It's entertaining watch for sure. Enough to waste your money? Yeah, I did so. Yeah.

It's worth it. I'd go see it again. I would see it again, too. That's funny. I want to see. Wow. There's some shots of that movie that I definitely want to see again. There's one moment with a sleeping bag that, like, I could not believe.

Yeah, yeah, it's good. I could not believe that was in a film. Anyway, I wanted to mention that because it's like one of the few notable things that I did this week. Okay. But I guess, I don't know, move on the questions. I'm dumb. You want to get some of our questions from Patreon.com slash a snark tank. Remember, you can go over there and ask us a question and we'll look at the question and then we'll make a note of it and then we might read it.

That's pretty cool. Is that enticing? Is that enticing to you? That's great, Mr. Burns. Viewer or listener at home, I'm pointing at the camera and I'm also pointing with my soul at the microphone. That's a great deal, Smith is? You can't beat that deal, Smithers. You can't beat...

You can't beat that deal! Just having a stroke. That's Mr. Brocker, I guess. Mr. Crocker, yeah. Yeah. Denzel crockers. He's F-slurs, right? Agates!

Faggots! Agots! Very God, man. That is so stupid. It'd be faggot-godparents. Of course, it'd have to be that one. That voice is so fun to do that. It's so fun to do that voice. Stupid parents.

Wands and sticks. Black people landing their own business. Ew! What's name a little blackout on the show? Erwin, not Erwin. Irwin is a good adventures. What's the name? I don't remember.

AJ. AJ, what are you doing here? I'm at school. AJ! You guys can't learn. AJ, ew! Ew! An adult saying ill to a little kid for racist.

How's that nigga? Like, how is he even employed, dude? I know. The principal loves him. He's got like a... What? Is that real? Yeah.

Is that part of the show? I don't know that. Who's the principal? I can't remember. I was shortly with the big hair. I kind of remember a short person, but I can't remember the face. There's no...

That's not a character. Yeah, the principal, yeah. No. Hold on. I'm looking this up. You see the JD Vance, uh, Doug Dimitome? Yes, I saw that. No.

You tweeted it. I was like, yo. Really odd parents. Principal. What they get some wild. Principal wax placks? Oh, I do remember. Okay, yeah, this is.

Damn. That's fucking crazy. That drawing is insane. That shape is ridiculous. Yeah. Do you remember this character? She's all pity. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. That is fucking ridiculous. Bus, dude. Yo, someone had a field day with that. I don't remember that at all. Yeah, the fucking... Did you like Mr. Crocker? Yeah.

And he was just too... He was just like... He's way too obsessed with fairies to... They did like the flashback. They did the flashback. I can't eat pussy now! There are fairies the foot. Ferrys!

There are fairies the foot. You... You say it. You fuck calls her a fucking... You bitch, Cunt! I don't know what she sounds like. Oh.

Why are you so gay? Why aren't you eating my pussy? He's in spasmus as that word. That is crazy. That looks like berries. Jake D. Tabatoa. He's so purple. That is one of the craziest fucking images I've ever seen.

He's so damn purple. You gotta get kicks his face out of it. Hold on. There you go. That is such an insane. Demme Domiton DeVance Jay Dimiton

J. Dimmodone. J. Dimmadone. Vance. J. D. D. D. owner. Dimsdale. Dimiton. I always loved that guy. Especially when they would pull out to a wide shot and the hat would just be going crazy. That's such an old school joke. That's like a 1950s. I feel like the joke I get

only is because of the show. I don't know that joke because of anything other than fairly odd parents, but I'm guessing it's a reference or something else. It's not that it's a reference. It's just that like the idea of something so silly, but not like outrage. I don't know. There's like a, there's like a tame silliness to it. Like, what if you just had a big hat that never ended?

Yeah. You know what I mean? That's like a, that's like a Mel Brooks kind of thing. You'd see that in a Mel Brooks movie where like, like, Gio Wilder would come in and then the hat would like be fucking going into the fucking in space. It would like bump a satellite. You ever, uh, you guys never played Final Fantasy 8? No. Um, is it the one with Titus where he?

goes ha ha ha ha he does the super laugh no that's one with squall 10 is what you're talking about 10 yeah yeah oh wait no that wait the woman squaw yeah yeah that's eight yeah yeah yeah i don't know i never put i only played seven one of his uh his uh what are they called triggers i don't know yeah one his like he has a stupid sword gun and it just it has a beam that goes you out of the world and i was like how is that not the most destructive thing ever and then it just does a moderate amount of damage What's crazy is that the more you like learn about like the more I learned about shit Cosmugally the more I'm like I don't I didn't need to know this you know if we're both Looking at the endromeda galaxy right like if you're both like let's say you're sitting down with a telescope

I like at the endromeda galaxy sure and then I run past you and look at the same thing at the same place you're looking at it We are seeing different days of things happening technically Shut up Exactly just like why do why would you tell me that like it's like why do you need to know that? That's like why do you need to know that That's like the light takes however long to reach us So like we're seeing back and time Well there's wealth of time Yeah

That's so cosmic that it matters That we could be looking at could be destroyed Just like say That applied to people just even mere feet away from you That's terrifying That's terrifying How slow is light? Light would be so slow as to like not even really

It would be unreliable. It would be more reliable to simply live in darkness. Yeah, I guess so. Because you're being fed wrong information, basically. Right. That could really harm you. It's misinformation opposed to no information, you know? Yeah.

We'd have no cars. It would be impossible. It would be, yeah. Because every car would be both ahead of you and behind you at the same time. That'd be terrified. I was just not being able to see anything, would be insane, yeah. Yeah. You'd have to live.

You'd have to be like, Kingston? What if you were blind you didn't know? And you were just kind of like, You were kind of imagining things out. And you're blind, right? You're like, huh? And it goes dark. What?

I swear to God that happened to me. What's what I'm saying? I was like convinced back into my blindness. I woke up cured and then somebody reminded me. You said that in school. You came to school without your glasses. I went to school without my glasses and I was totally fine. I was like operating completely normally.

And then some kid goes, hey, where's your glasses? And then I immediately couldn't see. immediately. I remember this so vividly it's crazy. You could have been a monk. I know. Mind over matter. You fixed all your ailments.

And they fucked you. So there are three possibilities here. Right? Where it's like, A, mind over matter is very real. Somehow and you can just will yourself out of things that are even like physically true. B, my vision was really only slightly bad. And I just managed perfectly fine to go to school without him. and then I just realized that I didn't have a bit.

So it bothered me a little bit more, which is probably the more likely. And then there's three. That kid cursed me. Chris, where's your gay-ass little glasses? And you're like, oh, no.

What's gay? What's that? Chris, like, blocked out the part where the kid started, like, doing some seance and shit. He was like, kid, Chris, where's your glasses?

And then they're not, and then they're like, oh, oh. The kid just hits him in a back and ahead real hard. scramble this thing Chris, where's your glasses

into the baseball band and you just go blinder What happened? There's like one frame where my eyes pop out a little bit When you pull the tongue It rolls back up Like the fucking wind of the little thing

There's like security footage And I'm in the principal's office And they're like, wait, slow down the tape And then like my eyes pop out One frame And then the kid comes in and sprays my eyes with like in like disinfected like some crazy corrosive that material so are you saying in like one frame he hit you came around you yeah it should be it's right it's sat back down it should be two

frames one frame is a little that's a little one frame is the eyes out the frame is the spray and then the third frame is sitting down your eyes are back in your head yeah yeah you haven't you haven't even like it touched a wet spot in the back here yet no not yet and they're like we can't even say anything so you could kill us and then they're like we can't even say anything so you can't That little boy could kill us. At that point, I literally, if I saw that, I absolutely would not say anything. Hi, I'm Dr. Jake Goodman, and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget

or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about pediatric health, Heidi Martinez, a CVS pharmacist from Edinburgh, Texas, talked about how parents can help manage their kids' fever. When it comes to fevers, it would just depend on the child's behavior as well as the number that the thermometer is kicking back. If the child is behaving normally and they're not having any obstruction to their lifestyle that they usually lead, then maybe a fever reducer might not be necessary. If you see that later on in the day, it progresses to mom, dad, I'm not feeling well. I need to lay down.

and you know that's not normal for your child, then it might be time to give them a medication for a fever. Hear the full conversation, including so much great advice for parents when it comes to keeping their kids healthy on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar

and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half. and hands me a piece. I opened my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen.

So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place. Because I don't want to deal with that reality. You know what I mean? I think I would kind of slyly mention it to people, I think. Like in the class. Like, I would be like, no, I wouldn't, I wouldn't incur him.

Don't incur him. No, well, I would, so let's say like there's other people who like I know might have seen it, right? Yeah. I'd be like, hey, that was weird, right? What happened in class earlier? And then they'd be like, what do you mean? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, there's like a mouse in the corner.

There was a mouse in the corner and nobody addressed. You know what I mean? I would like test people's like. I see like who would be like, did you see that? Did you see that too? You're like, okay, okay, good. I wouldn't want to incur that kid. That kid could do more.

But I would want to know that I'm not crazy. And if there is somebody else there, that's like the beginning of like a bond. You know what I mean? That's the beginning of like a story. All right. Especially like if there's a teacher there that you want to smash. So you like, you bring them. Sure.

Hey, watch this. We only know this secret. That's so fucked up. Like immediately like after you like we're the only ones that know about this. And they're mad. They're like, why did you rope me into this? Now I'm involved. Well, I'm trying to try to take your dress.

Well, I thought we were bonding. Yeah, it's crazy. I thought we were fucking. Yeah, it's crazy. Oh, oh. Oh, are you not? Are you not in this? this, do you ever have a teacher that you wanted to?

Are you doing this now? I could have this one of my teachers. Wanted to. I know. Wanted to. She was hot. I just didn't, I was too pussy because I was like,

I don't think this is a good idea. I had an Irish teacher that was pretty smoking that, uh, that, you know, obviously would not want, uh, 12 year old penis, but. Right. Yeah. I was in high school. You know,

I was in high school. I was just talking about my, my sixth grade, uh, teacher. My, my teacher who was a sexual predator at least wasn't praying on the smallest version of her kids. Yeah.

She was just fucking 17, 18, 18 year. Yeah, like, which... But it's still fucking completely monstrous. It's a bad thing to do. Yeah, it's... We're not saying it's a good thing. I'm just saying... Not at all.

No, it's just like... Every body... Like, it's normal to fantasize about, like, say, you're watching a fucking movie, you think people didn't fantasize about, oh, man, oh, what to fuck those, Sclerler's your hands on my kids when they're... Sure.

Like, it's just a normal thing to do. We're not saying, oh, man, Scarlalichardt's... Scouts or Hitches to do make a wish and start fucking... Oh, my... There's got to be... You know what's funny about that? is like there's got to be kids you ask for that yeah absolutely I might have I might have

been jacked off by John Sina yeah there's a honestly has to catch my nut to the face there's like a 15 year old who's definitely like I'm gonna die in six months can I fuck betty white yeah Betty white the kid gets jacked off by John Sina when he comes face like now I can't see you and then he dies white afterwards that's like I really don't want to be alive we had we had a really like there's an economic seizure that was like Incredible. I was like, oh, damn. That was, that's insane.

I didn't learn economics. Yeah, he's just too busy. I still don't really know economics. I still don't know what the fuck's going on. What the fuck is? I still barely have an idea. I did the best in my classes where like the teachers were hags and dudes. Exactly.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, hot teacher is technically a detriment. It's not deeply. Like the two, the two classes that I had with hot teachers, I don't remember much of at all. Really? In the summer. Oh, God.

Participation in government and economics. Two very important classes, actually. It wasn't even like. Like, you know, trigonometry where I'm like, who cares? Yeah. I'm never going to use, I still have yet to use trigonometry in my, in any fashion. You've never done proofs, bro? I don't even know what?

I'll never. Outside of what? Outside of what? Outside. How could you do in real life would you ever write down how to do an equation? It's the worst thing ever. It's like trying to, I write that equation for like jokes where it's like, okay, like, so listen to the untrained ear. This is this bit.

This is so a bit one I can't write I'm realizing You're having a moment You're coming on done alive I'm coming on Dukti Live I'm coming on cum I'm coming on cum

My Is that corn? That is corn That is corn That is Yeah my kink is coming on use condoms That's my kink I love coming on condoms

Or break into people's Breaking the motel rooms and just come on the fucking fucking end just finishing you this fucking ear the door broken in the door's close you just you just you're just cracking

boom stay right there stay right there that's crazy and you walk out you're mad they don't have a condom they're doing it raw you're mad you're so bad

you're just violent you grab how could you be so irresponsible. You know, you know, you open your mom a little bit too big when you calm yourself and then you reel it back in. I'm sorry, I almost lost control again. I want you to realize.

And you start banging your way out of through a wall. You hit a wall. You know how sometimes they have the connected doors to that there'll be the joint hotels. He just busted that one. In the next room. This is a stupid character. Terrified people. I see your using protection

Sometimes we come up Sometimes we come up with characters on this On this show that are like really That's like a great character This sucks I think it's funny Yeah the news guy The news anchors love

Be on lookout for the condom comer The condom comer The condom cumbers He seems to be immune to every conventional weapon so just give him your condoms Come on Please have your own safety You ever watch it

This is too empty dude Yeah yeah There's a Wait, is that in the shot? Okay, whatever. A little bit. The, uh, they should pay us. The, um, they should.

Who's they? I wasn't saying like the Jews. I'm just saying like Arizona. Whoa, I didn't say that either. You did. You did. You saw when you said they, I saw the parentheses. Perthesis.

In your voice. Jews. Somebody's going to edit that. Maybe I should do myself. You got that. They and they don't say they're trash. They and then also the parentheses and they. You don't watch it a lot.

And then we'll get on the questions. I know, that's crazy. We were going to do it a while ago. I'm watching a lot of these clips from like the old Conan show. Hi, I'm Dr. Jake Goodman, host of Beyond the script, the podcast where I sit down with pharmacist to answer the health questions you didn't even know you could ask at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, we are diving into gut health with CBS pharmacist Victoria Motola, who explains

why so many of us live with stomach issues. we should not accept as normal. A lot of what I see is just like chronic bloating, chronic stomach aches. Like I get a stomachache every time that I eat. And it just becomes like a lifestyle where, oh, yeah, you know, I just, I have a stomach ache every day. Or I'm constantly feeling like gassy. And all of those things are not something that generally, if you have a healthy gut, you

should be living with. So that's when we deep dive. We deep dive into your medication. We deep dive into your OTC medication. And then at that point, we can probably identify something that we can change. Hear the full conversation, plus some fascinating facts about how gut health affects so much more than just your stomach on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy and IHeart Radio. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon.

She doesn't say much. just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I opened my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place.

We're like, there are all these, like, horrible characters that they invented for the show. Yeah. And a lot of them are so stupid. But, like, it's almost stuff that we would come up with. And he, I had no idea stuff like this was even on television, like late night. But he had this like 1930s like crooner ghost. Do you know about this? No.

Where he had like the whole bit was like the studio was haunted by this like 1930s like lounge singer or whatever. And he would come up and he sounded exactly like it was a perfect impression of like a Bing Crosby like, hey there junior. And he was like, oh, you guys wouldn't want to hear my old songs. He was like, no, let's hear it. It's just like racist like. But it's like crazy Like Irish people These brains are made of corn

And they get drunk before they're even born It's like it's crazy shit And it's so good I'm like this is great stuff But it's also bullshit that we would come up with Where I'm like damn we could have Could have really did something Ghost racism is hilarious

Magical racism is funny Like ghosts A racist ghost is funny Because it makes sense too You've got a hot Irish temper That's funny You speak good for one of them You're for your types, boy

Yeah, I mean, think about it You're good at dancing or not Plenty of ghosts I imagine most ghosts that have ever existed Are racist actually Probably Yeah, I mean Statistically, yeah

Scared And I'm probably terrified How many woke ghosts Do you think there are? A woke ghost Fucking Rosa Parks' ghost is fucking Really pro people She's actually

No, she's actually like More racist than you would even assume I mean she might be She dwarfs even my, like, highest levels of racism. It's like a Lincoln. It's like, you know, he's, he's not racist, but like, by what standard? By like the standard at the time, I guess. But like, I think Lincoln was actually pretty not.

No, he was there. I don't think he liked by people exact versus of it. He was kind of like, let's get it done. This is what I'm saying. This is what I'm saying. Oh, no, no, no. In his diary, some like that. He says some wild shit.

He's a racist man. But it's not like, well, he's not an abolitionist. He's helped. But also, I don't think he helped out of the goodness out of me. Not exactly. Not because they're human. I'll take it, though. Let me ask.

I'll take it. Hey, chat, GPT. Is, um, is, is, is Abraham Lincoln, uh, is he racist? Of course, my nigger. Okay, so it didn't listen to me. It just doesn't, I probably gave you two real. It's like, no, I'm good. I'm good on this one.

It actually said you're actually racist, Chris. And then just, it's a compelling argument. Like, oh, fuck. Well. That's how you cure a bigot. All those people that called me a Nazi Had a point. Dang. Even AI thinks I'm gay too.

I didn't say I'm gay at the end. That's crazy. I didn't know what's learning about me. Because it's totally right. I love the foregis. I guess GPT could probably think I'm gay because all that dumb gay shit I've been putting out. Like it'd probably be like, well, based off of this

and what comments are saying about you, because there's every once in a while the comments are like, go, clearly you're gay. And I'm like, yep. Towards homosexuality. Only a gay person. would do this. Yep. Only a gay. Only a gay would make gay

songs. Let's go with our first question by Unwelcome Ghost. Ooh. Ghost. Wow. He says, Hello, Wizards of the Rundown Walmart. I have returned to the Patreon after many years. Hey. Why'd you leave, bitch? Yeah, give me old money, nigga.

What the hell you owe us? Yeah, getting the $100 tier. Yeah, that $100 tier that definitely exists. Yeah, for sure, it definitely does. Yeah, we'll set it up in six years. I'll set up next time I go on there and I'll be like $100 tears. Just to be real nice. Don't do that.

Just to be real nice you could do this. Look, you would have to prove to me that you're really well off and then I'd be like, okay, you can be in the street. We need to see your bank statements. Yeah, we need to see your bank statement. I would do it. I would do it.

I would do it. I would do it. I hate that. I don't like that. I don't like taking money for nothing. Oh, man, I can't even. I can't pay my rent.

But what I showed Chris earlier today about like the guy was like, he was on a phone call. Some guy doing his skaters on a phone call with like a fucking sex line. And his kid is like begging him. He's like, Daddy, I'm really hungry. Are you getting Taco Bell? He's like, yeah, whatever. I'm getting Domino's.

And he's just talking to the crazy bread right now. And he goes over and he goes over and like, I want you to fill me up. And the kids are thinking like, man, my dad's such a provider. He's like so good, man. I love crazy bread. I love crazy bread and my dad. And the kid's got a star. He's like all the buddy talking to this guy.

He gets one crazy bread. Red stick. Why does it smell like chlorine in the room all the time, Dad? Dad, why are you hurting yourself? Shut the fuck up! All right, baby, are you there? Yeah. Baby, he's like, yeah, I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still here.

I'm still here. I'm a girl. I'd never go anywhere for you. Oh, yeah, baby. Yeah, you sound really hot. Yeah. Dude, I think about some of the shit that we say on this show and it's like, I think about, you ever see TV, some TV shows or like, are like movies that like, they feel like ahead of their time because they're making dumb shit like the stuff that we're talking about now that almost feels like post-comedy almost feels like post-humor? Post-comedy is crazy.

You know what I mean? Like the death of comedies happen and now where it's existing in the actor method. It's just like many layers of just like I was watching inside of the episode recently where Kramer was like on a sex line but he was like you gotta try this phone sex thing. It's hilarious. And I'm just like even just that idea in like the 90s of just like doing phone sex for the joke of it. Yeah. Like ironically. It's so

strange to me because I was like that doesn't feel like a 90s idea it feels like a like a always sunny idea you know what I mean and a later always sunny idea that's interesting for sure I mean we we would call one we'd call one at the school really yeah there was a there was a pay phone outside of my middle school and we knew one number because uh you know it's easy like just uh one 800 big dick and is that real yeah at least it was I don't know if it is now what is it what's it to try it it was a phone sex for for Men? Yeah, so, but it just fits because it's seven digits, right?

That's so dumb. Let's see if it's still, let's see if it's still, uh, it, I hope I'm not misremembering, but I feel like it was big dick. You should call it. I'm literally, I'm literally, right. All right, right. Let's call 1-800 big dick. B-I-G-G-I-I.

If this thing is still operational, man, I'm going to lose my 800 VASC, let's see if it works. Who, the poor person who has that number who, Hi, and thanks for calling Talkto Me.com. Home of the hottest girl Do you want to talk to you About your secrets and... It still works!

I can't believe that! Is it the same one you remember? Yeah, 100 Big Dick. Did not understand your response. Please try again. Hey, I want to get some pussy. That's like the only response that they should understand.

Fuck you, bitch. That's crazy that that's still... Someone's still paying for that. Like to operate it. Yeah, people still do that shit. They have the monthly subscription to that number, that line. Well, yeah, of course. That makes sense.

It doesn't make sense to me at all. Older people that can't navigate it correctly. Yeah. They're a 65-year-old, 70-year-olds on TikTok scrolling. I agree. I agree. One-800 big ticks. Like, who's fucking using that, dude?

A blind person, I guess. Like, let's say people in your house have the number of your phone or you're for your phone to be able to get inside of it, right? And you're like, I want to give me. I can't believe that's still word. I did not. I want to divulge my secrets to somebody. Yeah, that's true

Why not call the suicide hotline? Wouldn't I be better for that? How much you think that's going to be on your bill? I think I have to do that. I think, I think there has to be some type of like acceptance. Like, I don't think that's going to go through. Yeah, it has to be something.

Something. I don't know how it works. Because as kids, we never got to that level. We just all the pay phone, do that part and then hang up after. Yeah, I don't think I ever really called. Exactly. I know that there was like, I remember like things like vaguely. as like a kid, like collect calls

or like toll free numbers. I don't know what the fuck any of that meant because I don't think I was ever calling anybody for money. Yeah, we would pull together money by like prepaid phones and then call the cops and like threaten like, threaten them and throw the phones away. Holy shit, I forgot about.

That is crazy than what you think. I forgot about those calling collect. I forgot about that. Yeah. We would charge these companies would allow you to make calls on like the pay phones or whatever and then you would have to accept and then it would charge you.

My grandma would have to buy telephone cards you'd have the car family of the Caribbean sometimes yeah dude it wasn't like call ATT was it I think that was something like yeah call ATT was one of those tools we'd have to get the car and have all the fucking Caribbean flags on it no I never used to Puerto Rico

because I don't know I've never used it was America well no we didn't have that problem Caribbean you chimp but you didn't have to it wasn't like an out of country call you sure for Puerto Rico yeah maybe maybe the other fucking washout place oh my God call it yeah because right St. Thomas is right next to it.

Yeah. So I guess so like, because I remember she would have to do that. Well, no. She doesn't know. I don't remember doing that, but I also don't remember much about like phone calls in general. Carrot top. Call ATT. Carat.

I remember that commercial, I think. You can call Caratop? No, I want to see the actual commercial. Oh, is it a podcast about the commercial? He's talking to carrot top above the commercial. I'm like, I don't care. You know what? That just gave me like a flashback of back in the day when I would try to find like some viral video or something.

and it would be like a young Turks video explaining it. Do you ever have that experience? Yes. It happened to me recently, actually. It was the worst reaction I've ever seen in my life. Like, I would watch that jinx guy a thousand times over. Uh-huh. So I was actually looking for the PIDD-D-D video of him absolutely destroying a meek Mill.

Like, because me and Jojo, that's, dude, me and Jojo had been just joking about it. I don't know if you've heard that video. Of course I've heard that video. Okay. So I forgot how violent it sounded because we recently were talking about it. And so now we just been like it's just it comes up all that every once in a while. Anyway, I want to pull the video and I thought it was just the video. And it was fucking this guy, 600,000 subscribers.

Yeah, yeah. Hi, I'm Dr. Jay Goodman and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about women's health, Amy Lynn Safatee Valentine, a CVS pharmacist from Long Island, New York, talked about just how often women approach pharmacists with questions about menopause symptoms. When it comes to patients that are really suffering with the symptoms of perimenopause or menopause, it's really important for them to be evaluated by their OBGYN because there are a lot of prescription medications that can help with that. If someone is really opposed to,

taking medications. There are a few lifestyle modifications that they can do, like avoiding caffeine and spicy foods, trying to stay hydrated, have a regular sleep cycle, get some exercise. Those are all things that could kind of help to limit the symptoms. Here are the full conversation, plus so many fantastic insights into all the stages of life when it comes to women's health. Listen to Beyond the Script, a podcast from CBS Pharmacy, wherever you get your podcasts. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's Bar and suddenly I'm right back. sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece.

I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place. Just staring, blankly. And then he says, man that's violent

and then and then like there's a chick explaining and she's using like vulgar language and he's like man you got shit that dude reaction and I was like what the fuck is this

reaction content is so terrible like there's so much of it dude I hated how the era of all the black reaction content like in 2018 to 20 like 22 2019 it was so many black react channels and I was like why there's so many of them that I like that was that I'll take them over

so much of Shack You know that guy He does a lot of like music reactions But he's like he's fucking insane Like it's fun to watch him Just like jump across a fucking room Every time something else But like

I'm completely cool Like some of the shit that I see him back in the day Like 90% of it's fucking garbage Some of it is garbage Some of it was better back in the day Comparative some of the stuff that I've seen now Because pretty much everybody's just streaming on Twitch And they're just like

I try to find something Family Guy funny moments Dude, I try to find a clip of Hassan and a very, it was on Valentine's Day. And I couldn't find, I was trying to do, I was trying to, uh, What the fuck were you looking for clips of Hassan on Valentine's Day? That's mega suspicious. Well, so I found, no, I mean, it was, it was, it was a clip from him when he streamed on Valentine's Day. Paxie.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't believe you. Go fucking, go fucking twirl in a meadow. You fucking, like, I narrowed it down. You fucking twirl in a meadow. Just like twirl in a meadow?

Yeah. Twirl in a meadow. That's classical homophobia. Yeah, it is. Why do you go frolic in a field? Yeah, you flaming. You funny person. You flamer.

You flamer. I like flaming. I've always liked that. I like the F word more. I'm sorry, man. No, you say it. Flame. You say it's flame.

He doesn't say it. He says burn. Oh, you guys see at the very, I can't remember what he says. He says burn. At the very end of one of the podcasts, I wasn't even I was rendering the video.

And then, like, at the very end, the last frame is this Gears Award thing. I completely forgot that I did it because it was just on my computer. And then Jojo walks up, she's like, are they kissing? And it's fucking Marcus and Locke is kissing. Wait, what do you mean? This is like one frame of the end of our show? So, yeah, like, so do you know when that one person was saying that it cuts off on Patreon? He's like, could you like play some music to like just run it out?

Yeah. And so I've been doing that. But I always like to, I've been using this Marvelous Calcum 2 thing, the clock tower thing. And right when all the band kicks in, like, dun, dun, dun, dun. So a picture, I, anything that I can find on my computer, I just put a picture there and let it. And then that would just have, I don't know why I used that or when I used it. But it's saved on my computer. So it's just gay rainbow, I think, like, gives a more stuff and then kissing it and shit.

I do that with the extra ammo sometimes. I told I like the thumbnails Dude whenever there's an extra ammo And I see it's just like a still from the show I'll just like replace it with some random image on my Yeah, I like that Cause I essentially

Because of that I was like I'm absolutely not going to put anything Because I'm waiting for you to put something Yeah I want to start doing I want to start doing that But I know the shit I would put Would be like hey you got you can't do that That's too far

Well for the extra ammo It doesn't be like a lynching party or sign And it's like you can't do that Like you can't be there Extra ammo stays behind the scenes Okay I'll do that So you can fuck. I got the next one.

It's been to be crazy. It's, it is behind the scenes. It is private. Did you see? Remember the, the, yeah,

look at the one I have for dark sex. Yeah, I was like, I was like, what the hell is this? It's just like a fucking horrifying, like,

x-ray of a face. Have you guys seen the image of like the Hood Olympics or like they climb off the crates? Yes. I hate those videos. And it turned into the, it turned into the clan rally.

Yes. You sent that. You sent that shit. I hate how jaunty that song is I don't remember what the song is I remember it word for word Of course you do Of course unfortunately and it's like I this is not good To have in my head

Let's go to questions please before I Oh yeah I began reading that guy's name And then we got fucking sidetracked again Come on don't pop up you're blocking the guy What's the matter? Damn you're blocking it Is just the reacting You're edging it you're edging it

You're blocking it but you got Oh my god That's a fucking insane image Yeah you got bears I hate how jack they are. Ew. Block a block patient again. No!

Get away. Oh, it was perfect. I ruined it. That's insane. Is that? Oh, I thought that was like, I thought that was like, I thought that was diseased crados. A new player has entered the arena.

Disease Craitos. It's leprosy crados. first time in the ring Oh Oh It's fucking Blades are all green His blades are all greasy

Blades are sick You're so sick You're fucking car Is wheezing He hits the floor And gunk comes out of it Oh My God

He's great His beard is so patchy He's a mange He's a mangy person Oh my god Anyway Unwelcome Ghost Rode

I got to say it real quick before. 50 minutes ago. Oh, go ahead. Yeah, real quick. I just want to ask you a question. Yeah. Hi, I'm Dr. Jake Goodman, and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too

embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about pediatric health, Heidi Martinez, a CVS pharmacist from Edinburgh, Texas, talked about how parents can help manage their kids fever. When it comes to fevers, it would just depend on the child's behavior as well as the number that the thermometer is kicking back. If the child is behaving normally and they're not having any obstruction to their lifestyle that they usually lead, then maybe a fever reducer might not be necessary. If you see that later on in the day, it progresses to mom, dad, I'm not feeling well. I need to lay down. And you know that's not normal for your child, then it might be time to give

them a medication for a fever. Here are the full conversation, including so much great advice for parents when it comes to keeping their kids healthy on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS pharmacy. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there, listening.

That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place. Do you think, have you seen any of the Moana's? I saw the first one, I think, but I don't really remember much of it. Okay, like, are you aware of, like, the average male size in the other? They're, like, they're, like, really huge people? Yeah, they're fucking, yeah, they're trucks. Is this base set, is it set in the gears of war universe?

Moana? Yeah. Yes. But there's, all right, we just want to verify. There's real Hawaiian. I just want to verify. There's ripive islanders that look like that. No, thank you for verifying.

I just want to, yeah, yeah. I just want to make sure that that was actually set in the gears of war. I never saw the second one, but I heard, I heard that Baird is in the second one. he he is I actually yeah Jojo was watching it while I was played by Lin-Manuel Miranda Miranda Miranda you know there are Polo Negroes that's true I can go ahead and read the question

yeah no those are real no those are real I'm sure they are there the Polynesians had sex with Negroes no no no they're not even like African I go like go no no it's interesting yeah the bet it is go ahead they're like they're like I'm just gonna make up a question

they look they look like they look like the darker aboriginals what's up Sniggers You can say it That's not that's not the word It actually straight up is that word If you add something on it is not the word So if I say pinniggers

It's not the same thing No it's not What are we doing? It's not That's literally not That's how that's how worth What's that movie? Do you see the

Oh, Lilo and Stitch They're doing the live action Lilo and Stitch And they fucked the casting entirely Did they? Yeah Why are they doing what? Oh God, what is it?

Well the fucking girl What's her name? The main girl? Lonnie? Oh, well, Lilo. The one with the hips? Yeah, the, yeah. Lonnie, the sister.

Yeah. Entirely wrong. Like, completely wrong. Like, just the worst. Is she like Finn and not like... It's not what you want. She's not like, I don't... It's not what you want.

It's not what anybody... Never. Actually, I forget like... Never. Who exactly it is. But I remember... Put my hands in the floor, put energy into the floor of the walls. Have you seen it?

No, I don't care. What do you don't care? I don't care about live acts of Disney. No, I know. Well, I'm not, we're not talking about it from like a perspective of like, oh my God, this is a sad. Like, I didn't, I didn't care to look at it. I was like, oh, whatever. Leo.

C.G. And I was like, oh, okay, cool. Yeah, I just, I just remember seeing McCasian being like, that is a, you can't do me like that. There's a little girl. Is that the ex- Wolverine chick? I don't know. Is that the Logan chick or? The little Spanish girl to do it on which old is.

Let me, let me get a closer look. If we got a Polyesian girl to do it because that girl's Spanish. I'm sure they probably got, yeah, that would be really fucked up. Enhance. That girl's... If they got... Yeah, the Hispanic chick. Computer, enhance.

Enhance. He's a Mexican girl. Enhance, if you will. Yeah. Remember that fucking idiot? I can't remember his name drew her. And they had like saying like a cease and desist. He drew like lullie of her.

Oh. I can't remember his name. I don't know. Fucking guy with the, uh... Come on. He was that guy he got like... He got ostracized for doing a bunch of lolly stuff. I don't remember.

Here's the skull guy. Oh, Shad? Shad. Shadman. you don't remember that he drew a lolly of the the kid from from Logan or what was the movie called Logan

it was called Logan right I never saw Logan I never saw it you never saw Logan it's really good I'm sure yeah yeah it's actually like really really good it's even like it's a good movie I just remember I remember the weekend that movie came out everybody I was in like a room and everybody was just talking about it so like I know every you know what I mean yeah I just kind of was like oh I guess that saved me

wait I was just talking about the X 23 broad or whatever. Yeah, whatever her name. She's in the Deadpool Wolverine, right? Yeah. Yes. And those are an acolyte. So, oh, they, I thought it was the same character for a second.

That's crazy. My brain was like, how does that work? She's fucking running around in Star Wars. Let's go. You know what's crazy? Her character comes from a show. It was crazy? Miamo.

Unwelcome ghosts question. That's true. Her character comes from Action Evolution, similar like Harley Quinn comes from the Batman Amy and series. Do you guys know that, right? Harley Quinn's from the Batman anime, she's not from the comics. Yes, I know. Actually, he's from that show.

Yes, I knew that. I thought it was crazy. I thought she was from the comics first. No, I think there was a lot. So, Alfred. Alfred's not from the comics. This motherfucker. Batman.

Batman himself is actually, the original comic is actually literally about a bat. It's more like Stuart Little. It's about a little bat that's trying to be a man. And he's trying to, he puts pants on. Yeah, he puts pants on, he goes to work. Nobody takes him seriously because he's just a fucking bad. It's like, what are you going to do, Batman?

The hell are you doing Batman? You got pants on and no fucking shirt. Get the fuck out of here. Get out of your bitch. And then he wins a little sailboat race in Central Park. And then he wins the respect of all of his colleagues. I'd watch the fuck out of that. I'd watch the shit out of the original.

And then Tim Burton really was like, let's make this. Let's fix this a little bit. And then yeah, the other stuff happened. Yeah, and everything that you know about Batman today is based off of Tim Burton's rewriting of Batman from the original mouse comics. Tim Burton did it all. Yeah, it's all him.

It's all him. The Alfred part. I stopped at the Alfred part. Alfred is in fact a character from the Batman, the Automated Series. Absolutely. Batman the Automated series. Alfred didn't exist.

Alfred never existed. Thomas Wayne. There's no Thomas Wayne. There's no Thomas Wayne. There's no, there's nothing. Everything is just. It's literally, it was Batman. It's just the name Batman.

It's the only thing that stuck around. You guys don't see. You've never. read like go back and read the Dark Night Rises. There's literally there's no Alfred There's no Thomas Play. Well the Dark Night Rises, there is no

Alfred. Actually, Dark Night returns Excuse me. There is no Alfred. He isn't in it. You are right. And which one? The Night returns. He's in it. Yeah, see. Yeah, I'm right. I want to get mummified. I want to get mummified. I was going to come in here take my brain up my fucking ear and kill me. That's something compared to a wonder of it. We're like

Wonder Woman was originally just like that was literally like just based on Helen Keller. What's that what's the question? This is about a woman who was just constantly wondering about us around. And this bitch wondering when I'm going to beat the fuck out of her. All right. Well, Unwelcome Ghost Road in 40 hours ago. Next question. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, thank you for your question. Unwelcome Ghost. That's our show. He says, Hello, it's the of the Run at Walmart. I've returned to the Patreon after many years and come bearing a question for Sweeney. What are your favorite colors to play in Magic? I hate this question.

Magic the gathering. That's why it's not for you, twat. And what, yeah, I hated. Twat. The second he said, it's for Sweeney, I hated it. What are your favorite colors to play in Magic the Gathering? And what colors do you think Derek and Chris would play if they weren't lame? So what does this?

You play like, oh, I play red. I played before you were born, bitch. Yeah, Derek plays magic. I got, like, the thing is this, Derek is, Derek is tries to be cool, but if we're all doing anything nerdy, you'll be like, well, yeah, deal me in. That's, that's, that's, I don't know. I just, I just, I abandon everything. Like, I've, I've done a lot of stuff and I've not stuck to most things because it's just like, you hear that, Jojo?

Hey, man, this is being, this is monumental for me. I've been married for almost like, what, three years now? That's great. I'm on my way out, though. I'm fucking, it's soon, as soon as soon as. Our anniversary is on the 27th July, right? 26, bounce. The half-life of the marriage is.

Shit, she's been listening recently. She's, like, bored at work, so she started listening to the podcast. I'm like, oh, fuck. She knows my plan now. Damn. So I got a- She's gonna dip the 25th. No, I'm just, oh, that's, I'm a dip the 24th, bitch.

What do you think about that? That's crazy. You just gave it away, though. You gave it away. Now it's, now it's just like, you guys are going to hear it that day, and you're going to be like, I'm leaving now. I'm arguing with her, but on your behalf. Delayed

Everything about it is wrong I play I play red and green a lot I like I like I like Swarming and like aggression in games I'm always been that kind of person I don't like being like passive I cut to a meeting Always

I think Chris would probably play Blue because he's a piece of shit And what's Blue what does that mean It was like counters It's like countering and preventing your opponent From doing shit Yeah And I'm sure this nigga played black

and like fucking black and green or some shit. Dead. I want everybody dead. Yeah, of course. So you played black and green, of course. So I must die. So they're like denominations of cards where like the greens are like, usually cards of different colors.

Yeah, I don't know. My history with card games is literally zero. Yeah, excuse me. I played poker and that's it. Well, I mean, just think of it and think of it like, like, and I don't remember poker. Rolls.

Yeah. There's a lot of. Yeah, I get it. So, yeah, it's a, it, um, my brother, my brother got me into a lot of that stuff, but a lot of it, I just didn't. It's expensive, man. That's just what it. The thing is, it's expensive. And then, like, the unfortunate reality is that, like, sometimes I'll go to places where these things are happening.

And I'll just, I'll see a group of people that I want dead. Nothing to do. I don't know how to, I don't know how to say it nicely. You want them dead. I just want to have as little in common as possible. The problem with card games is like, like, first and foremost. Like, they'll stand up and there's, and there's, nothing. like a shit streak on the chair somehow through their pants

and you're just like, your pants never slip down. Your pants are solid black and are the shit streak on the day. How did you do that? How did you do that? Diarrhea sipping through your pants. The horror stories I've heard from people

who work in places like that and also just the things that I've seen. It's just like, I don't know, man. I don't know what it is. I went to a barbecue last week. My friend's manager of a comic shop, so it's like all of his buddies. And some of them, like,

I know a lot. of them. But yeah, they're, there, uh, some of them are like, there was a guy there that if he walked into a mall or a school, they're like, oh, this guy's going to shoot it up for sure. For sure. The way he was out about it. Like the way he was dressed. Like he was all like, it's dark. It's starting to get dark. You know, we, we showed up like around five-ish. And he's got sunglasses on this hoodie. Does he enter, does he enter dark, do you enter gloomily? He's like, dude, he's hunched over like this. I'm like, this is, if I didn't know these people.

He's, like, coiled. There was, yeah, there's a few characters. Dude, there's just one guy that used to do, because they would always do like Warhammer shit, 40K shit. And there's a guy that had a, you ever see Jet Lees unleashed? He had, he had the caller. Hi, I'm Dr. Jake Goodman, host of Beyond the script. The podcast where I sit down with pharmacist to answer the health questions you didn't even know

you could ask at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, we are diving into gut health with CVS pharmacist Victoria Motola, who explains why so many of us live with stomach issues we should not accept as normal. A lot of what I see is just like chronic bloating, chronic stomach aches. Like I get a stomachache every time that I eat and it just becomes like a lifestyle where, oh yeah, you know, I just have a stomachache every day. or I'm constantly feeling like gassy. And all of those things are not something that generally,

if you have a healthy gut, you should be living with. So that's when we deep dive. We deep dive into your medication. We deep dive into your OTC medication. And then at that point, we can probably identify something that we can change. Hear the full conversation, plus some fascinating facts about how gut health affects so much more than just your stomach on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy and IHeart Radio.

Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low... Listen. So we sat there.

Listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place. You have the collar on. These are my people. And I was, he's so sad. These are my people. It's unfortunate.

But I just happened to be black. So I didn't, I didn't have a chance to get corrupted that much. Look, they're all nice people. I'm corrupted. But they're also, right. They're a little off. They're socially, they're socially not the most adept people. But for me, like, I've met some of the, well, that was also before, like, because

there's errors of, like, nerddom now. Modern nerds are not like that. That's true. Not anymore. Our era was when it was already changing. Much more major. And now what they are now is just like, the kind of thing is that'd be like fucking buying hype beast shit

are people that play cards. Yeah, that's very true. And it's like, I hate you because you're ruining my, I'm old now. You know what they've ruined, they ruin conventions. Conventions are,

I don't go to like the biggest ones anymore because like, first of all, fuck parking. Fuck, uh, being sarding is the main reason I won't go most places. Just,

just go with, just go with Lily and I. That's whenever we go somewhere we go, we go, like we get the parking because we're not going to fucking park six blocks away. And then after a whole day of a convention, having to walk like half a mile

to get to our car after we're fucking tired and carrying shit. I walked back to Burbank from E3 once. No, you did it. Of course not. I was like, that is all the way deep in LA. You would first of all, you would get robbed. 10 miles, 15 miles? What is that?

That's a fucking crazy. A feral homeless would be you. I walked from, I did walk from the Empire Center and that was like a trek. You know? That's not been crazy. And that was, I mean, it's not really, no. like a three mile walk, right?

Yeah, but in like July? That's, you did walk over to our house once. Yeah, I was like, why'd you walk here? You were like, guys, when to go for a walk? And you came in and you were fucking gaunt. And I was like, why did you do that? Like, why? I don't mind a long walk.

I don't. But like, obviously, E3, the L.A. convention center to Burbank. That's out of the city, basically. Like, I could walk here and I'd be fucking exhausted from all. Like, I'd be like very exhausted from all. Like, I'd be like very exhausted from out. I'd be like me by the time you got here.

I'd be fucking exhausted. I would be really. I would be heavier than you. I could push you down. I'd be mostly skeleton. And then it'd be like, hey, you'll call an ambulance like right now. Yeah, you would have been skeleton. I would call you to call an ambulance ahead of time.

Schedule an ambulance for 15 minutes from now. We'll see your house. That's so stupid. Do you think they would do it? I don't know. They'd be like, uh, no. It's not how it works. Someone's going to die real soon.

Just don't do it, idiot. Well, wouldn't that just be how long it would take? Depending on the time. Yeah, I guess. If you're like, can you get here in 15 minutes? But also, if I go, yeah, I mean, I, yeah? Send them out in 15 minutes. Are you in danger right now?

I will be. I mean, I'm in, I mean, I'm not to walk into a bear cave. I need an ambulance here in 15 minutes. I'll meet you there. Oh, sure. It just ignores it. Who wouldn't? You can't ignore that.

No problem. I'll be right there. You know. You know someone dies. Guys. That's his turn of your turn off empathy. Because they haven't done the dangerous thing. It's so stupid.

You can't ignore someone about to die, though. I think you, in that case, you send the cops maybe? Like, not the ambulance. If you tried their location, it's just a gay bar called the Bear Cave. And you're like, oh, no, he's done. He's done. And he comes out of guys, I have AIDS. And then the ambulance.

I forgot. I was not expected that. So I was going to be something worse. I genuinely forgot. I thought it was going to be homosexual. I didn't know. Like verbally, not like Or like beating up like gay bashing or something.

I thought I was good. I don't know where these things go when I start saying. Oh, okay. So I forgot gay people in AIDS were like associated each other. Me too. I really,

I genuinely forgot that. I had to reach deep to remember that either. I'll remember because we'll watch these shows like Bar Rescue or something and some of the commercials, some of the ads will be AIDS medicine. And then like 90% of the couples are showing you're just gay shit.

Like just doing gay stuff Like that they're like licking each other's asses Are you kissing a man on the mouth of your man? You probably have age already You should get checked out age They're like hey you can live with AIDS now So you can fuck your dudes butt, no problem But butt whole bad shit

You know what's crazy about that is that like You think about it like that's so crazy Like that people were so freaked out About like are they just that wouldn't even be around people They're just like I don't want to be around Oh yeah because they didn't understand how it works But then you, like, live through COVID, you're like, oh, I kind of get how this could happen. Because remember when we were, like, wiping our groceries down with, like, fucking, as if that really did anything.

I mean, fuck all, really. It wouldn't, it wouldn't do nothing. But, like, say, it wouldn't really do something. It would help for anything that wasn't the thing that you were trying to nail. You know what I mean? Yeah. It would have been like, oh, it's good probably to wipe down your groceries in general. Because there's probably all sorts of other shit on it.

There's like a bunch of stuff, but also, like, you know, like it's a virus. I don't know how. long it can live on the surface. I think it was 12 years. Of slaves. So it was like, yeah, 12 years, that's, yeah, that's exactly what they said. That's what Fauci said. 12 years of slaves.

He's fucking strangling beagles and stuff. He eats a beagle's fucking lord. Comes out, the skeleton comes out clean. That's the, like a chicken wing. Next beagle. You see the episode? Blue? What the hell kind of dog is?

He's a big guy Is he a big old? Is he a big old? Who? Scooby-Doo? Blue. No, Scooby-Doo's clues. Scooby-Doo's a great day, right?

Yeah, the Dane. Blue is a fucking abomination. An abomination. First of all. I was thinking about that too. But I would imagine, yeah, probably like a bigot. Did you guys think that blue was, I didn't know blue was a boy at first? I thought he was because he was blue.

Blue's not a boy, though. Hi, I'm Dr. J. Goodman, host of Beyond the script. The podcast where I sit. down with pharmacists to answer the health questions you didn't even know you could ask at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, we are diving into gut health with CVS pharmacist Victoria Motola, who explains why so many of us live with stomach issues we should not accept as normal. A lot of what I see is just like chronic bloating, chronic stomach aches. Like I get a stomach ache every time that I eat. And it just becomes like a lifestyle where, oh yeah, you know, I just, I have a

stomach kick every day, or I'm constantly feeling like gassy. And all of those things are not something that generally, if you have a healthy gut, you should be living with. So that's when we deep dive. We deep dive into your medication. We deep dive into your OTC medication. And then at that point, we can probably identify something that we can change. Hear the full conversation, plus some fascinating facts about how gut health affects so much more than just your stomach on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy and I Heart radio. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch

with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's It's your happy place Blue's a boy I think blue's a girl

No blues a boy And then magenta's the girl Oh I thought it was other way around No no no That'd have been cool But that's not how That would be fucking disgusting That's not how the America teaches

Kids But it It just like the soft blueness of it Just seemed kind of like feminine to me But I'm also Right I guess I was looking more At the color palette of the show

In general Like it through the lens of the show That's a hardcore blue I see You know what I mean It's like boy blue Yeah, I'm not sure exactly why But I guess that because I was like I just assumed

But yeah, I don't know I don't know why I assumed I was when he started Petting the Blue stomach and saw the Red Rocket I was like oh so some people Oh man don't say that that made me sad But uh no What makes me really Busset is

Steve That's gross Steve is fucking terrified Dogs humping each other Like dogs humping Makes me love them so much less I know. It creates a level of dim grossness over them.

And I'm like, I don't like that. We're just jacking off blues clues. We're just checking off blues clues. So we're just checking off blues clues. I wonder where he'll come. That's terrible. Stop, stop this really. You're making me upset like actually.

But, um, time, come time, come time. So if people don't know what kind of dog be in. No, it's mail time, but M-A-L-E. This is so gross. Okay, so Blue does not have a specified breed of dogs But people is Stop up! People assume that he's either a big...

Oh my God. People assume he's either a basset hound or a beagle. Okay. So he's gay. Okay, so the bastet hound or... You see that episode of the Fairland Apparel, the Band episode of Fairland Parents? I'm not the band episode, but like the cut one? No.

They took off a streaming service Which one was it? Where like he goes I can't remember the premise of it I think the whole thing was like He tried to skip school or something But then Mr. Crocker He does that thing in school

He goes very good And then a gunshots erupt in the hallway And then he immediately breaks care He's like Blue is a girl Lock the door Lock the fucking door Blue's a girl

You're lying Blue's a girl What's Magenta then? Oh boy Unbelievable I think that was the point of it They switched it around If I'm not mistaken

That was wrong Lives are right. If I was not mistaken, that was always the point. It was supposed to be like to divert you. So they're gayifying our dogs? I mean, no. By making blue a traditionally boy color, a female. What's crazy?

And magenta, clearly a slut color. Clearly. Clearly a slut color. And then clearly. Make it a gay boy. They should have made him cyan. That would have been better if he was blue. If he was blue, he's kind of close to sign.

Like a car? What are you saying? The color cyan. Oh, cyan. Sorry. cyan. Cyan. Yeah.

Cyan. fucking loser. So maybe that's it. Maybe that was because, like, I'm... Yeah, it was always feminine. So I'm misremembering. So I'm misremembering. So the big reveal must have been me as young watching blues clues.

Was that maybe being surprised that it was a girl. And I was like mad because I thought I had a gay sexual awakening being attracted to blue. But it turns out that I was attracted to a female the entire time. I was like, oh, I guess I'm not gay. And the dog. Yeah. And the whole dog part. You were like, oh, whatever, it's fine.

The fact that Blue, like, was technically, could speak, because, you know, Steve understood Blue. Yeah, and women can't speak. Right. And so I was like, I kind of didn't think of Blue as a dog, per se. It's a speaking creature.

Yeah, but once. Yeah, exactly. That's crazy. Exactly. These lines, the people you're validating in these conversations are like, you're doing way too much. Do you ever the episode where they revealed it?

where Magenta did a backflip and then a giant cop swap and hit fucking Steve in the bottom of his chin Oh Yeah it broke Steve's jaw And that's why

He had to go to the emergency room Oh The whole episode It was about the health care system And that's how Joe showed up Yeah Joe came in Yeah Joe was the doctor Joe got his

Steve got his jaw back My Magenta's fat dick Oh I'll be back guys Oh I'm gonna replace myself I gotta go to college, oh no.

I'm never gonna be able to suck dick again, shit. And so he leaves. And then that guy Joe showed up and I was like, I was already too old. Yeah, yeah, by that. Joe showed up. And I was, even when I was a kid, I was watching it.

I was probably in like sixth grade or something. I was probably in college. And I was like, I was actually thinking about that. I was like, I wonder if I can sit down and watch one episode and be entertained. You probably could and you don't want to admit it. Well, I think I probably could because I remember that show.

Like Arthur. I think that's a good show. I remember that. show being more about the vibe. There was something much more mature compared to blues Yeah, it's a different show. Way.

Blue schools, I remember just being nice vibes. Because it's something like pleasant. It's like Dora and stuff. You know, it's those, that, it's crowd participation, always being happy no matter what.

So as an adult, I'm like, can I? Because it's like, it's like playing with action figures. I can't play with them anymore. I don't have, my imagination doesn't work that way. So I'm thinking,

am I going to enjoy blues clues like in the same way? It would be different for sure. I think you would enjoy it. I might just, it would be like a good, like, There's something about it that is positive and enjoyable. I've seen the songs.

I love that fucking, I wanted that, the, the, the notepad for so long. He's pretty, I like how he's, so bad.

I love, I like, I love his simplistic way of drawing things. Yeah. Like, he was actually really good at drawing, but it was like, like,

maybe it was many takes, but he just, he never fucked up. Like, he would draw something and it was such a like, he was getting like a perfect line. Yeah, and I was like,

like a perfect circle and you're like, what is doing? What I love about it. It's like a Terminator. off screen. He's like a robot off screen doing it perfectly. What I loved about that so much

was a Terminator. It was that's crazy. T. A T.000. T1,000. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I like that because it was like it was supposed to be like

you can create things with simple drawings. You don't have to be the best at it. And I was like, this is such a positive show. But I always feel like a fuck up. But we're so cynical now that I can't enjoy it.

I always feel like a fuck up though because he would draw a house and I'd be like, fuck. and you would hate him I hate this show and I hate you Stephen Fuck you blue

I hope everybody dies against a neutered And fuck you paprika Someone cheated That's definitely not your fucking dad Or your mom You lie piece of shit There's that was some weird The salt runs out

He never really uses salt does he Because those have been around for fucking years He's bland as fuck Yeah he has it for guests I think they're empty But they're just like I think it's like It's like a image of out there

I mean, that's even more psychotic to me. Yeah. They're just alive at that moment. No, because you can hear it when they move. Sure you can. They're making a sound. How come there's only certain things alive in this house, not everything? Budget.

Like the... All right, yeah, let's forthwall it. You just ripped this. You did what I did. You ripped this exercise apart. Why do you think of something that's a plot of a show? It's a pot of a show. dumb kid show

why does severance only take place in hallways like I think he's stepping on the carpet they're just screaming like it's time that loud

and he's got to he's dancing here's the mail he never failed the fucking carpet is screaming my wrist

when it comes I want to well my wrist he's fisting the fucking mailbox Oh, fuck. The thing goes up. Ding. Yeah, the flag goes out.

Yeah, get all the mail out of there. Get all the mail out of there. So many bills. Put more in there. Fill me up. Fill me up quick. They're all eviction notices. He hasn't paid us for your life.

The last one. The most recent one just says, please leave now. There's like a shot of the Blues Caloos and it zooms out and the rest of it is just the Bronx. He's dude, that's cool. That's cool. But no one fucks with him because they're terrified. It's like that pink house. You ever see that fucking that iconic?

Yes. That pink house takes to the black house. Yes. And like Malibu. I know exactly where it is. Yeah. Where is it? Is it in Malibu?

It's, uh, it's, it looks like it's in Malibu. It's, it's not, it's not in Malibu yet, but it's on the way. It's not, it's not, it's not in proper. It's not in Malibu proper. It's adjacent. I thought it's on its way to being in Malibu. Like they're moving it. The house is slowly migrating.

No, no, no. It's, I would say Santa Monica. Oh, okay. All right, yeah, yeah. It's, it's, I know what you're saying. That place is probably gone then. Yeah, it's actually.

Ooh, I know. That's the Palisades. Yeah, that area. Oh, shit. It might be gone. That pink house might be gone. That's interesting. I want to check.

You're too bad. Well, I saw it a few, uh, well, with October. That was last time I saw it. I want to, I want to get to this question specifically because people keep, people keep writing in this. Yeah. And I don't understand if like we just never addressed.

I feel like we've addressed it. Mr. Hot salsa wrote in says, Hello, Darkcast. Do you guys remember when the guy that dressed up as Gaston killed himself with fireworks, with a fireworks mortar by placing it next to his head? This happened years ago. I don't remember.

We've talked about this. I've never talked about this. Have we? I don't remember. People have brought this up in comments. That's hilarious. I don't, why don't I know? I don't remember this.

That's so interesting. Was he ghostwriter for a bit? For one frame. For exactly one frame he was on a bike too. That's so dumb. He's like Nick Cage just laugh. Boom. He gets the whole, get up,

but Fisto shows up everything. And he's just like, the whole scene is set for a second. That's what Kili is up for. like that. Sure. Like having a whole thing where like there's an image of you. Sure.

Like a hard image of you on like a gallo like hanging yourself like teaposing for a frame. And then you die obviously. They're like, oh man, that was a really cool picture to take him. But now he's like gone. Let it be cool if when everyone died you teaposed. Hi, I'm Dr. J. Goodman and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget. or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about pediatric health, Heidi Martinez, a CVS pharmacist from Edinburgh, Texas,

talked about how parents can help manage their kids fever. When it comes to fevers, it would just depend on the child's behavior as well as the number that the thermometer is kicking back. If the child is behaving normally and they're not having any obstruction to their lifestyle that they usually, lead, then maybe a fever reducer might not be necessary. If you see that later on in the day, it progresses to mom, dad, I'm not feeling well. I need to lay down. And you know that's not normal for your child. Then it might be time to give them a medication for a fever. Hear the full conversation, including so much great advice for parents when it comes to keeping their kids healthy on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy. Listen wherever you get your

podcasts. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there, listening.

That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place. That was like, you know, your default death state. You're like, if everyone died and nobody lived, you stand up though. You stand up though. You like stand up and you. If everyone died and nobody lived. If everyone cried and everyone fibbed. I don't know.

What would that be the day? The day that what? The day. Things stayed the same. Is they the same? The greatest day of my life. I hate life. I hate life

That's scary I don't like the Satan I hate life Hating life Hating life is more evil than like The monastic

Like hating life is cosmically bad That's like so not Take it up with Chad Kroger That's not even like demons You're still talking? We were off on a fucking journey I don't even know what the fuck we were talking about

I just want like I hate living things all of them just chad croaker but he's just red he's just he's just all it's red croaker it's just singing about death every one day every lie it's gonna go out in the universe everything's gonna be gone oh that's great there's gonna be no one nothing left and i'm gonna be around laughing laughing and dancing i'm the favorite is that him that's i think that's half of a quote from a book what do you mean what's the what's the what do it's like we're reference to something of Blood Meridian?

You'd talk about that a lot. Said twice. It's more than normal. I've mentioned Blood Meridian exactly zero. Yeah. No, I should know you mentioned it once. Damn, that's meta. You've been used.

Share by some of that. Like a sheet of paper. I forgot this movie. Can you do it the entire way? No. The fuck do you mean? Let's say you have the power to actually do it. Then you can do it.

If you could, you know, hold on. You would have to, I guess, with so much force that the momentum... Yeah, finishes you. Finishes it. Because after this, you're gone. So, like, it would be more like you latch your fingers into your skull. I have something I like yesterday.

It reminds me. And you have to. You got... You got to lose yourself starts fucking playing because you got one fucking shot at that. Yeah, exactly. That, you think Eminem can do it? Eminem. Palms are...

What if Eminem is just... He's like oogie-boogie, but full of Eminem's. You better... What? I've never seen him bleed or anything, so we don't know. I've never seen Evan M bleed. I've never seen him pee. The monster matter.

LP is him fucking bleeding and pissing. That's all it is. You can never really get a good look into his mouth because he's always got his mic really close. Right, so you can't even tell. You can't even tell if he's chock-fold-o-in-ins. I think you're on to something. I think I might be on to something.

I think also his daughter, Haley, we should test her blood to. Yeah, she's put 50% Eminem. Yeah. Who is she, who does she married to or having a kid with? Tony Hawkson. I think... Tony Hawk's son. Mitch...

Is that real? Dick. Yeah. Tony Hawk's son. That's a crazy... That's a crazy linking. That's... Like, how the fuck...

Everyone's daughter and Tony Hawk's son is like a wild combination. They would make a great video game. They gotta make a video game. They would. Seam it on a human... Slipping on a human. I'm slipping on a board.

I'm slipping on a board. What I got to do to get it through to you? I'm skateboarding. Tony Hawk is six and six and those don't have... Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali. Ali, grind, Ali, glide, Ali. Oh, my God, I saw a funny-ass video of, like, a hash-sacker movie where, like, she's, like, insulting the slasher and the slasher hits her one time and bisects her head through a tree.

Oh, I think I know what that movie is. And I was like, why did he hit her so hard? I know exactly what you're talking about. I don't know what the movie is. So is you like superhuman or something? Or he's really upset. He was bashing her head All of his adrenaline

It's like split open like that Yeah And it's like Jesus Christ Maybe stop insulting the guy Anyway Mr. Otz salsa I remember I guess they don't Yeah

I swear to God This has been brought up And maybe not Maybe not to the vivid details Maybe it was in passing We talked about a Gaston Killing himself But not with fireworks

Thanks to his head I guess Maybe we made a scenario Of him murdering himself We talked about A couple times recently Sure We just talked about him Being sexually harassed

Oh yeah I vividly remember that No One sets his scalp a fire like Gaston. Fucking Lafouz singing while he's burning. Everyone's having a

jaunt to the drink. This is actually this is so rare that we have a perfect. This is perfect. Speaking of Gaston, Grumbledore wrote in. He says, Hey, Warlock, Bard, and Gunslinger.

If you can replace one villain or main character from a game or a movie and replace them with another character from a completely different gamer movie, Who would it be and how would it change the story? It'd be Sean with Gaston actually. Sean, what do you mean?

Sean from Red Dead with Gaston. You can't just say Sean first name and expect that that's going to, oh, clearly he's talking about Sean from Red Dead redemption. Or Micah from Red Dead, but with Gaston. No, Mike is so integral. We need his racism. We need his racism. Man, that's an interesting question because there's so many. possibilities.

Yeah, yeah. I would put Friza in Breaking Bad. Does he stuff the same abilities? Does he have the same abilities? Freeza is Gus. And Gus is on Namick. And he's got to figure things out. He's on previous pod.

He's like in this in the pod. So I guess I'm in charge now. How to, we got to explore this. This doesn't look like Mexico. Wait. Wait, wait. So,

freezes on Namme. No, no, Gus, Gus, Gus, Gus, Gus, Gus, Gus is on Namick. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Friza is in Mexico, Albuquerque, New Mexico. So does Friza own Los Polo's Hermanos? Yes. Does he have his ability that's freezers still? Uh, oh does Gus be giving them?

I'm gonna, I'm gonna say they swap, uh, that is horrifying. Where Gus has Friesas power and Friza is simply very intimidating. Now, do they? the last thing, last thing. But he's still free, like, everybody's looking at him, like, what is that? What the hell is this? Last thing, are they aware that they're sick? Are they aware that the switch has been made like they are no longer, like do we have memories?

Oh, is it like in you? Oh, that's a good question. Do you have memories of their prior lives? What do you think would be funny? Change now. I think it's funny if they just accept what's happening with like no questions. Okay. Well, it's like, fuck, I guess this is it.

I guess it. What if you throw a dildo? in a way of the change now thing. He's like, change now. You can throw a new one away. And like, bian. Does it have to be sentient?

And it's a flesh light and you just plow it to death. Because if it isn't, then that would just, it would be like, it would have to be sentient, I think. Ginn you can only change bodies and sentient. Because otherwise it would be like,

he would change. It's just possession. Well, because then you can never change back, huh? Yeah. Or just the idea of just like, even just to have a thin layer of dirt over you.

You know what I mean? Like, who's just saying like, Come a speck of dirt? It's a really terrible power. It would be, yeah, I guess it has, I mean. And what if you miss? Yeah, and the rules. And you hit grass.

Now you're grass. It's like a terrible power. That is very true how you could just easily miss and then it would hit. Yeah. They didn't, they should have explored that. They should have explored it more. Yeah.

He should have became a thermos. Yeah. Because I know the person that's when he says change, now the person gets like paralyzed. Is that what's supposed to happen? I don't know. I just think he's just, I mean,

He tried to do it to the Vegeta. It is weird that I feel like they should be able to dodge that. But obviously, for convenience, they don't. If they could dodge things like that, it'd be dodging everything. And it would be a series of no one really hitting each other. Never working once. Yeah, no one would hit anybody ever again. It would be a series of.

Daging the show. Who would just be dodge balls? Who threw the frog in the path? Who was it? Coco was it? I don't remember. I think it was. No, he was all.

He was Goku, right? It was Goku and Guinea's body, I think. Yeah, and then he was getting the shit kicked out of, and then he was going to change again to us again. I need to watch this again. I really don't remember the sequence of events. It's making me realize that I haven't seen it. Dude, I don't think I've seen a series since the 2010s.

That was the last time I properly watched DBZ. Last time I watched DVDZ proper was literally like 2007. Wow. It's been a long time. I watched Kai. I mean, I just like, the thing is like there's been so many games since then where I was just like I've consistently been refreshed by it. And obviously like abridged.

Oh, right, right, right. I know the fight encyclopedically I just don't know the I don't know the minute to minute moments I know the big moments Yeah I think that'll be a good watch

I think I'm gonna do that Wouldn't be a bad Where the fuck? Crunchy Roll? Where the fuck what I watch? That's kind of the thing It's all on there Yeah

It's a whole fucking And then it's like a version That you're gonna get is Do you guys So many different versions It's so weird Did you guys see When Crunchy Roll was like

Buging out I didn't want to This was like 2018 or 19 Where I wanted to cancel My subscription and instead of a cancel button, it said like to a small button and a large button of no, keep my subscription. And I was like, how do I?

Because you go to cancel and then it's like it's supposed to be cancel or no, keep my subscription. And it was both no keep my subscription. That's crazy. I took a screenshot. I was like, what the fuck is this? It went viral. But like it went viral in a way that I wasn't, I wasn't trying to accuse Crunchyroll of being. Sorry, this isn't critical.

This was Funimation. Oh. This was Funimation. I think I do remember hearing about that. I wasn't trying to accuse them with being predatory. I think it was just a bug. That is funny as fucking. You know, and then so it went viral and a bunch of people were shitting all over.

And I was like, I just thought it was funny. I didn't think like, oh, sorry. Oh, they're trying to steal my money. I just thought like, this looks hilarious then. You started the clan rally. You're like, oh, you're backing up. It got roped into which one? Was it one of the voice?

actor was accused of some fucked up shit. Oh, Vic, McNogner. Whatever the fucks. The Broly guy. The Broly guy. It was, that got roped into it. It was weird.

Did you guys see the song that he wrote? No. About like, there's, so, look, I got to, I got to be honest. I don't know anything about what happened with that, the whole thing. I really didn't care. It was not in my world at all. But that guy, he wrote a, like this song about how everyone's face. and everybody sucks.

What are you voicing as Broly? No. Can the Silver Surfer have sex? Probably not anymore. Once about a time, probably. Yeah, that sucks. We could probably make a cosmically make a dick. Casually make a cock.

All right, you got it? Nick showed this to me. Yeah, it's, you'll hurt people. And it's this guy. It's the original Broly guy. And he just has this like really dramatic video. Is he pretending to be Broly or? No.

Oh. With the chorus. hurt people hurt people it's like this British fucking rock bullshit what is this

it's so it's like it's like not Billy Idol but like you know like it's so weird it sounds like it sounds like seven months ago seven months ago

seven months ago seven months ago every I remember because make sure it to me he's like I've seen this and it's like it's so the video is wild so is that song about himself

yeah it's a song about how like everybody he's the hurt people people Right people I mean I mean

I mean Yeah Yes actually So these are the lyrics And again I don't know if he's innocent or good I really don't know what the fuck I don't know actually

This is just funny to me There's like a real The lyrics are killing my light Won't make your light shine any brighter Weighing me down Won't make your burdens one bit lighter Cut me apart Won't add one inch to your life growing

Oh, wait a minute Your glass house Would not survive all the rocks You're throwing He's taking no responsibility This is a complete victim complex He's basically being We're the hurt

Or the people criticizing them Or the hurt ones Right Yeah What a piece of shit If I don't know I'm assuming A lot of times

Look I'm gonna be honest How many times It's a weird reaction If you are indeed innocent I would say It's weird You know Because if you're just like

Fuck whatever It's a very It's let's Let's say Let's weigh the the allegations being true versus not being true, it weighs heavily in the favor of allegations a lot of times being true.

A lot of times where the victims come out and say some fucked up shit or whatever, more times than not, there's like when there's smoke, there's fire. And so it's probably why I didn't look into it at this point because I'm like, it's probably just another guy who's doing some fucking weird shit. I have no, I personally don't care about that guy at all.

So that's the thing where I didn't look into it. I didn't think, I'll say this, when I was watching Dragon Balls, I never thought like, man, Broly sure is irreplaceable. Yeah, exactly. Like that was never like part of, but like so like, not that, I'm sure he's a great voice actor. What does his name again? Bruce Banner?

It's like Vic McNana or something. Vic McNally? If you do VIC and then MIG, you'll, you'll find, yeah, Mick. Oh, oh, he's Italian. Yeah, yeah. Vic, MIG. But I know that, I know that this was like a hot button issue. Don't write in about it.

Vic McNally. Like I don't, we don't care. We're not super serious about this. We don't even know what the fuck's going on. Vic McNonio. It's just a very funny song for somebody to write because it's just like brother. Gay people.

Gay people. This is gay people all over and all right. But yeah, I think Friza in owning Los Poyos Hermanos slitting Victor's throat would be fucking with his tail or something. Okay, so it says multiple accounts

alleged that he kissed, grope, and made Louis. or homophobic comments to fans with the other cons I'm sorry Is that real? That's what it says You're laughing your ass on my side It's just funny because it's like

I'm just imagining that guy like berating like fans Yeah I remember I remember the big contention was that like One of the reasons was that he was like inappropriate in the booth Or like they would like make jokes or something Which is like really?

I mean come on like we've all heard the Goku We've all heard Goku What is it? Gohanna Every sort of slur Yeah is that That I remember being like a big kind of contention point where it's just like that's so dumb So somebody may have just took offense to that one which is clearly like people like us just fucking around in the booth

Yeah like riffing like people like riff seriously which I guess it's possible I don't know As a voice actress Monica Ryle and Jamie Marci tweeted out the support for speaking out and alleged that he also sexually harassed them So he's like bye or something he's harassing uh unless jamy uh jamie's also a woman actually is probably yeah that's probably more like a woman Well, I just, I'm so used to... It's Jamie Heineman from MythBusters. Wait, what are you doing there? You molested me. Big McNogna molested me in the booth.

I was guest starring on an episode of Dragon Ball Myth. MythBusters. He loses appeal to the suit. Damn, there's just... In 2022, this article by NPR. Yeah, and even that was late. It was... I remember this happening like 2017.

18, 19, 19. Something like that. Yeah. Anyway. Hi, I'm Dr. Jake Goodman, host of Beyond the Script, the podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer the health questions you didn't even know you could ask at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, we are diving into gut health with CVS pharmacist,

Victoria Motola, who explains why so many of us live with stomach issues we should not accept as normal. A lot of what I see is just like chronic bloating. chronic stomach aches. Like, I get a stomach ache every time that I eat. And it just becomes like a lifestyle where, oh, yeah, you know, I just, I have a stomach cake every day. Or I'm constantly feeling like gassy. And all of those things are not something that generally, if you have a healthy gut,

you should be living with. So that's when we deep dive. We deep dive into your medication. We deep dive into your OTC medication. And then at that point, we can probably identify something that we can change. Hear the full conversation, plus some fascinating. Focinating facts about how gut health affects so much more than just your stomach on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy and IHeart Radio. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. and she replies with a low listen so we sat there listening that was the first time I learned that quiet

can feel full Hershey's it's your happy place huh probably a scumbag yeah maybe listen to hurt people by Big MacDarine now

yeah watch it and cover it it's yeah cover it this is such a weird it really is just so funny the video because it's like so dramatic he's like black and white and he's like black and white and he's like

And then it cuts to like a smartphone with like a crack in it You know what I mean? It's very film student So lame it's very funny So lame dude I'd rather watch fucking uh David Lynch's shit Like a thousand times over like his music videos Who? David Lynch Oh he's weird assing

The creepy clown time shit Short films that are just fucking strange Just like I'll watch like Don't give me that serious shit I'll watch what did Jack do a million times Yeah I don't like Have you seen what did Jack do? No This movie where like he's he's he's

interrogating a monkey. And the monkey's like, I didn't kill her. Oh, I thought the monkey was going to be like just like, no, I don't know, it's got like a fucking monkey. It's got this ridiculous effect. Like, it's something that we could do where it's just like

green screen mouth. Oh, no, really? I didn't kill her. That's. I loved her. I love that. And it's like,

it's, it's crazy. It's like 15 minutes or something. It's on Netflix. It's on, it's ridiculous. I got to check that out. It's a watch.

Crazy. Anyway, let's see. The clown rode in. You know him. There were, uh, hello three wise men. Just a simple question for you today. What would your thoughts be if Elon Musk wasted taxpayer money on building a real life sentinel from Marvel with one simple task? Going after the trans.

I'd be like, this is really bad. It's pretty bad. It's a pretty bad It's really bad That's like what Like 40 people If it looked like a Right

Look first of all Like that's such a crazy Like to build a machine To hunt down like Point whatever percentage of people It's so fucking crazy How do they dictate that? So here's the thing

So yeah like Let's not let's not get there Would they get Caitlin Jenner? Yes They would have to That's a plus and a minus there So here's the thing I will

depending on how they look is how I will react to them that's what if they look like they're cool ones like if they look like the fucking Brian Singer ones or what do you know

the future movie yeah yeah yeah like if they look like that where they're like maybe 12 feet tall or something I'd be like fuck this those are less than rods but yeah I get too well you know they're not as cool

you know it's funny you said so you said depends on how they look If they look like, say, how I grew up with knowing how... From X-Mexman 97. Yeah, how ridiculously large they are. And how are we... Unreasonably large they are. See, yeah.

It seemed like a waste, massive waste of resources. They're literally ripping off the roofs of three-story buildings. It's like that fallout robot. What is it? Liberty Prime or whatever. Yeah. They're literally like that size. And it's like this, at least that made more sense, I guess, because they're not...

Those, the Liberty Primes aren't for hunting people. Okay, you know what I mean? Like these things would put... They said that Liberty deprived was just like kill an ice cream truck driver. Because it's just like the sigils are so big and it's like you're not even able to maneuver well enough to capture a lot of them. Like say if they were just smaller and like say the future robots. Yeah. Those fucking the Nimrod thing.

The future like those things are perfect. They're terrifying also. Yeah, they're extremely powerful. They're limber. They're quick. Anyway. They go after black people for some reason But I wanted to bring that up because you said

You said Bishop he's like I gotta get out here So you said your approval of the robots Depends on how they look Because I think it's interesting because that's probably The robot specification for You know how they would Yeah

Holy shit I know right But here's the thing So I knowing Elon They're gonna look terrible And they're gonna be unfinished So this is why this is why like I wouldn't

They're gonna autopilot and crash into a fucking lake They're just gonna kill random people Yeah yeah They're not gonna work Like his machines that he's building It'll pick up a baby and it'll be like This is not an adult human Cannot

Determine Human Human don't look like this Male or female I was gonna throw it high up Penis We're gonna penis too small To indicate

Is that a penis or clit And then It's that quick Yeah And then there's just a guy with long hair, clearly a she-mail, smale. A smale. That is fucking crazy. And then, uh, does what?

I just felt like there was an earthquake. I mean, my right arm. It felt really weird. Yeah, right arm finally, uh, giving up. Finally. Yeah. After all this jerkin. All this hurting and jerkin.

Heard and jerkin. Hurt and yurking. We do, we do like one more? Yeah, we got one more. talk about she says a little bit I want to end on a good one There's a couple here

But like I want to make a A good choice So the server server can't like Conjure up like a regular penis He probably can Okay so But you think he doesn't have the desire To fuck anymore

Because he has no balls Yeah Probably Doesn't that suck? What if he was like A really sexually active human And then fucking Galactus is like

No You're You're He wasn't human He was that long Yeah but they They obviously had Genitals

Because they How did they fucking reproduce. The movement's in law essentially human. There's like really no difference between them. They're just at a different part of the galaxy. That's it. They're just bald all of them. That's it. Yeah. And then he was like, all right, I'll do

this to save my planet. And then fucking Galactus, doesn't he still fuck his planet anyway or something? He, uh, he when service of it tries to escape, he throws it somewhere where he's like, don't, but he don't all right. I think surfer moves it. One of them, I think surfer moves it. So I just can't

find it anymore. But ever it's like I'll still be your fucking herald. I'll still be your herald and and then he just zapped his penis away so he can stay focused on finding him good planets. That's fucked up, man. He's a, he's a tragic character. He's always been the coolest character because he's like, you guys are really dumb. Humans are very stupid. You guys have like everything you need and y'all still dumb.

Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, I'll like let his place and he flies away. Spider-Ben's like, please don't. And he's like, all right, kid, whatever. Yeah. I'll help. Ready for our last one? Yeah.

Last question for our patrons over on Patreon.com. Star Tank, remember, go over there, ask his questions if you want. Get Gabby and Zach back on the podcast again, please, wrote in. Yeah, go. Send him messages, huh? Jack's impossible to get a hold of. It's always like, I mean, it makes sense.

I don't know what the TV world is like, but I imagine it's fucking, especially in animation. It's just like, uh, I'll be a lot. Just put out a filler. I mean, even if he doesn't get back, he doesn't get back. Yeah, I guess I could do that. But, uh, yeah, so they were ready. He says, Sub be rabid, Papa Doc, and Black Cheddar Bob. Not really a question, but I'm, but I'm,

I'm so tired of guys being pigs all the time. I understand men being horny, but it gets on my nerves when co-workers or friends openly talk about cheating on their significant others with slightly attractive women at work. That's wild. We're just straight of saying some wild shit about their bodies. I'm a guy and I've never understood this type of behavior.

I'm trying to see what y'all think of this. That's a bit much. I actually very much agree. Like, I don't know, man. Like, I've never... The whole, like... Uh... Oh, like the whole...

Like, the whole premise of... that women have of like when guys get together they just talk about like pussy or whatever she's like that's never I've never experienced that in my life you're also not that kind of guy around those kind of guys I've experienced that definitely in my life yeah I've never had that being I've been around many well you guys did sports I guess many insecure men

that pretend like they're getting a bunch of pussy and they're not obviously or even ones that do and it just they're so virg more like vulgar and disgusting about it and it's like from my from my experience the ones that say they're not they're not getting that much, dude. They're just, like, from the people that it was, it was the people that, all of it is. Even like, say the, the dudes that would talk about their dicks all the time, they had small dicks. And like, literally like the friends that I had that

had like large hogs would never talk about their pieces. Well, that's often how it is. Projection. It was very, yeah, and it happens a lot to where I realize that these people, the ones that the locker room talk and shit, it's all projection. They're, they're, they're not getting pussy the way they are, they're just not. The ones that are, you kind of have to pry that information out of them a lot of times. I mean, I knew no fucks that were getting pussy

that would talk about all the time. And it'd be fucking like just kind of like in a worst way, spots where it's like, dude, what does somebody's talking about your mom like that? Like, is this like, this is completely disemitting women.

I mean, they definitely. And I thought it was funny. Yeah. I did laugh because I was like, this crazy hearing this. But like, yeah.

They were, it was definitely like morbid at times. And I'm like, dude, I don't like, dude, we were like trade nudes. We were like trade nudes amongst each other And it's like, this is really fucked up

This is really fucked up I mean, I definitely had girls news That should we really just defeat the purpose of them I definitely, I definitely had girls nudes I shouldn't have had If I never gave my girlfriend's ones out I was like my one line of honor If they weren't significant others like Like I understand how young men

Would be doing vulgar shit like that If you if people are sharing Nudes of their significant others Like of the actual girlfriends and shit And like holy shit Oh you're trash like holy shit because that's something that that's so uncalled for it's like why it really is why would you want people to see i guess those are the people that grow up to be cucks in a way that they're like they have like trophy wives and they want to show off there and then like maybe even have somebody fuck them or something because i don't want to share my lady with you all that's kind of nuts yeah unless she was already like in that industry she's my possession i mean yeah it's my girlfriend she's my property for sure yeah i don't know i've never i've never liked that vibe

it just always struck me as like try hard very like it just yeah nerds aren't like that locally they don't fucking well I haven't not the ones that I've known

but like I've heard I know some deviant nerds no deviant nerds but they're usually the ones I try to operate quietly and then get caught doing some fucked up shit they're not usually ones like

huh man I fuck this girl last night and I think they're like I think that's a sentence I don't think I've ever said you know what I mean like I fuck this girl I think you know yeah I'm trying to think

It was going to be one time in my life where I was like, I can't believe I bagged this. And I would be like, look at this person. You know what I mean? Yeah. But that was like only once in my life. Yeah. That I ever felt that way. I don't.

I don't really. And to be fair, because it was just like with all my friends too, we didn't really. The subject had to have come up for some reason. But we never were like, oh, let's compare the notches on our belts and shit. Oh, yeah. Oh, I definitely came up when I was in high school. That's when I was fucking a lot. And then like, as I got older, I was in like,

I think out of high school, I've been in like maybe two or three relationships. Yeah. And it all have been relatively long term. Like before Lily, it was like another girl that's two years. Hi, I'm Dr. Jake Goodman, host of Beyond the Script. The podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer the health questions you didn't even know you could ask at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, we are diving into gut health with CVS pharmacist, Victoria Motola, who explains why so many of us live with stomach issues we should not accept as normal. A lot of what I see is just like chronic bloating, chronic stomach aches.

Like I get a stomachache every time that I eat. And it just becomes like a lifestyle where, oh, yeah, you know, I just have a stomachache every day. Or I'm constantly feeling like gassy. And all of those things are not something that generally, if you have a healthy gut, you should be living with. So that's when we deep dive. We deep dive into your medication.

We deep dive into your OTC medication. And then at that point we can probably identify something that we can change. Hear the full conversation, plus some fascinating facts about how gut health affects so much more than just your stomach on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy and IHeart Radio. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I opened my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low,

listen. So we sat there listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's, it's your happy place. On and off a lot. Yeah. And then like before that, I was a girl I was dating like several times. We had like splits and breaks.

And then I would obviously go fuck other girls. I mean, she'd find out she'd be really mad. and I'm like, we're not together anymore. Yeah. I never asked her because I just didn't want to find out. Yeah. But I always was made to feel bad. And I'm like, but you, well, that's what my dick would do.

It would be like, but you, you are, you are, we're not together. You broke up with me. She's like, yeah, but like, I assume you care enough to, like, try to get me back. And it's like, I did. You just like, you were a bitch. So I absolutely fuck your dad. I've absolutely fucked your dad. Fucking someone's dad that you dated is crazy.

Yeah, I mean, it's definitely crazy if you're not gay. Oh, you got, there's got to be either, it's horrible if you're not gay. Then it's like evil. You'll be crazy if I, there was this girl that, um, this girl, she pulled, she pulled a jarhead. I didn't know she had a boyfriend because she, she, she's a terrible person. So she pulled a jar head on because the guy was in the army. I feel so bad. I fucking, like, throughout the summer, I was smashing this girl throughout the summer.

She was one of those girls that showed up, um, later in our school. Like she was like, oh, new girl. big boobies and I was like oh yeah at some point. Talk of the choir. I was like at some point of course. Inbound. And so the funny thing is I didn't smash her in high school.

It was outside high school. But I was like we reconnected and then anyway, long story short, I once drop her off and I meet her dad. I must have told, because I must have told this before at least because he was the, he was what, he said something along the lines of you're one of the good ones.

Like he was racist. And I was like, God damn it. Of course he. I'm a racist-ass dad you fucking white trash bitch um and uh that would have been great if I fucked him

you know like I'll show you how good that's a twist if I think I'll show you how good I am he's like oh yeah yeah get me daddy

I've definitely been the guy that fucked a girl who had a boyfriend who I knew I knew him in high school to my knowledge I was a dick then he was a dick then I couldn't do it we fuck when I was like 18 and I found out

She didn't like spite. Oh, you felt bad. Okay. I felt really, really bad. I did it again, though, but like I felt really, really bad. You're young and fucking horny and dumb, and you're just making bad decisions. And like, I just don't want that karma on me, man. It's bad karma.

Yeah. I wasn't proud of it. I don't want that on me. I wouldn't do that. Even, like, say the, um, he was a cunt, though, but the homies. Um, uh, there was a time when I went on tour, there was this girl that was like, thirsting. And, uh, the singer was talking to her first. but like so he I saw him kind of like seething in the corner like clear I'm not fucking flirting with this girl but she's like clearly like oh what to fuck like we I want something to happen but I see dude like stewing in the corner like I was like this is gonna be a problem for the rest of the tour you know so I was kind of like hey bitch get away from me like it's kind of like one of those things well like stop being a fucking pussy dude do you want to watch but you know what she did like we um so I took down her number when we were because she let us stay at her

house to like because you know we're like in the because we had a van. I get it. I understand the circumstances of why you did that. I could never bring myself to stay at a woman's house. That wouldn't sleep mean I don't want to. I feel like I'm in danger. I don't know why. Yeah. I mean everything's fine but like it was one thing. I took down a number because I had my cell phone. It's not fun. But yeah, everything was cool but then she she texted me when we're leaving and then she would she just if it wasn't any clear

while it was last night she was like man I really wanted to get with you last night. I'm like I don't know that. I didn't fucking know that. But like, yeah, you know. Let me double back. Let Homeboy smash and stuff. And it's one of those things where I could have been a selfish prick, right? And be like clearly like jackpot.

But why not? Well, because it's all. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But like I took, I took bros before. I was very seriously. I actually even when I was in high school, I had a thing where some, a couple of my closest friends were like, let's not. Like, it.

date girls in the high school it's just going to create problems. So maybe like outside of high school, maybe a different high school or something. Like that's crazy. It's not really. Like if you looked at the disasters that happened many a times other than the high school sweetheart

It's like a high school disaster. It's like such a menial disaster. In real time. I'm thinking of real time. I'm not thinking of I can't be thinking of hindsight in real time. In high school, even in high school like I had like a very keen awareness to I guess about that stuff where I was like none of this matters. Like I knew high school was like completely like

For me for me for me Not a waste of time necessarily but like For me to think is that high school was all it was at high school's time I didn't feel that way at all So my brain was like this is all This is it this is life at the moment I felt like these were like my most important years To where like where I was like

I because I know I'm going to be a wage slave Pretty soon So this was like the time to where Let's have fun don't get bogged down by some bullshit That we've seen many of We've seen the musical chairs of other people swapping and losing friendships together like oh they're two best friends

now this one dumb slut fucking ruin they're not friends anymore. I never had any of those moments I never had I managed to keep that shit away I've seen it fights man multiple fights I've seen it too bullshit this one's kind of like let's keep that let's just be smart there are plenty of women everywhere so you don't have to be like I need this bitch right here

of my second and third and fourth period I'm like bro like just see them after school and that's the way I operate it just made things it made it much more healthier I mean, it is. I guess. It is a mess situation. Yeah.

But like I just, at high school, it's like, I'm going to fuck girls in my school because they're here. These are what's present. I'm not talking about like, I've smashed some high school girls. But what I mean is like, say, the relationship thing. I know you didn't mean that. Out of kind. No.

I know you didn't mean that. I love how to context. That sounds crazy. I know. I, I, I, I. You're such an asshole. I know. I was just like, come on.

We're talking about our high school cells. You've done that to me directly. Like that. And I'm like, I don't want to do this. I probably would have done the same thing. I was hoping you would say it. In fact, I was trying to go to do it. Yeah.

As the 30-something old, I've debt. Yeah. No, yeah. Look, it's, it's a lot of those. Look, I know, a lot of those piquish conversations are really fucking annoying. I was hated being around them. Yeah. I think it's like, I think it's, they happen sometimes, I guess.

Hi, I'm Dr. Jake Goodman and I'm the host of Beyond the script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, All About Women's Health, Amy Lynn Safatee Valentine, a CVS pharmacist from Long Island, New York, talked about just how often women approach pharmacists with questions about menopause symptoms. When it comes to patients that are really suffering with the symptoms of perimenopause or menopause, it's really important for them to be evaluated by their OBGYN, YN, because there are a lot of prescription medications that can help with that.

If someone is really opposed to taking medications, there are a few lifestyle modifications that they can do, like avoiding caffeine and spicy foods, trying to stay hydrated, have a regular sleep cycle, get some exercise. Those are all things that can kind of help to limit the symptoms. Hear the full conversation, plus so many fantastic insights into all the stages of life when it comes to women's health. Listen to Beyond the Script, a podcast from CBS Farmer. to see wherever you get your podcasts.

One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen.

So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's It's your happy place If you're like I think I've In my entire life Like three

Conversations that were just like Agreegiously like that But they were never around fucking other Like women Yeah women or you know Like just the proper dude that you know that he's not about that shit So I'm not gonna talk like that in front of them And even in that context

It was even more like I think in every single one of those situations It was like pretty Pretty heavily tinged in like comedy You know? It was a very jokish conversation. We were just like laughing at each other about like stupid shit that we fucked up about.

Or just like, wow, you really, you really screw yourself over. See, I think that's great. Like, there's those stories. Like, we all have probably wild stories like that that are probably fun. But it's not, you don't need to share the details of the penetration or something. Exactly. That's crazy. I've never given people like a play about, like, you've seen an old sitcoms too or it's, help me everything.

Like, give me details. I'm like, give me details. That is crazy to me. So I took him down. My dick is. this big and then it got a little bit this hard. It wasn't as hard as it normally was. Give me details in such a crazy

here. Here so you can actually so you don't have to you don't have to wonder how it looks. Yeah let me show you fluff me up a bit. Fluff me over it. Take a sea how it was about. Opens up the blazer pulls out a fleshlight I knew you were going to ask for details so let me show you what I did. And he's like he's going

bananas. That couch is creaking and bending. It's a metal couch that is is way warped just like a fucking car crash yeah i don't think i've ever um had any of my friends describe in detail of like how they were fucking a chick specifically or whatever i've ever heard that conversation i've never asked i've never given that information i don't need that i've heard it but not from people i'm like i like i've been around it's people that you distinctly be like oh well i'm not having this person over you can't you can't come to my house but you could

like i i don't if you got weed i'm in the library in the beginning of the school period i guess i have this stomach this for the next seven minutes before class starts. Oh, I did have, um, so I did have one, um, my ex roommate in, in 07. I was friends with, um, the girl he started dating. I was friends with her before they got together. And once they broke up, she was just telling me all the shit about of things that normally I wouldn't want to know, but it was also funny. Like he's like, he's a freak.

And I was just like, that's, I normally wouldn't have wanted to know this, but it was so, oh, such a wild car. that like it was things that it was just things that I wouldn't do you know like yeah you know like he turned like I just say without being super vulgar

you know once he once he finishes he turns into a he turns into like a mop like literally yeah I quit I'll sing with that view though that is the most insane thing I would do that well like quit up quite like like for real

like a swiffer yeah he'd be he'd mop he'd mop up the place because he was literally a mop so he'd mop up all the all the finish and he's and you remember the time that he's like drank from your cup you remember the time he's like fucking

giving you like kisses on the forehead and you're just like I'll be honest one of the reasons why I've got a whole foam I swear but like I never I never felt like super comfortable always like unless it was alcohol that like, you know, it's killing all the whatever is in your mouth, you filthy

human being, where I just more of a germaphobe than anything. I cannot. I don't like drinking people stuff. It feels alcohol, I'm like, fine, but a regular drink. I'd see motherfuckers like, their lips are like dipping in the shit. And I'm like, I don't know what's the last time you brush your teeth. I'm just a weird about that. I can't do that. I also can't eat food. Like, I don't like

eating after people really bad. Like, it really bothers The food is not as bad to me. It really bothers me. It depends on what it is. Like, if I can see, like, say if it's like a, like a, something that's really messy. And it, like, you can see like, you're just getting all into it. I'm like, I don't want that. Like my grandmother, when she would, because she was like, obviously, like, every person like her at age, they don't know how to eat food. Like, not a, not like not having the tea.

There was her like, oh, you have to chew your grandmother's food? No. Oh my God. You couldn't do that. You'd birdie her and stuff. I couldn't do that for my grandma. Even though, even though she means the world to me and I should like, her raising me should validate me at least doing something like that for if she needs it. Right. I couldn't do that.

I'd be like, hey, hey, miss. Hey, check, go home. Go home quicker. There would be no reason, too. Yeah. Hey, Lily breaks her back. Do you wipe her ass for her? Yeah. Damn, that's crazy. That would do that for a baby.

I couldn't. That's legendary. My baby shifts itself and be like, it'll gross. Clean up. Get yourself up. Yeah, figure it out. Throw it in the top. Yeah, just like.

It's not bad. I like, they have a baby sliding on the room of a tub because you throw it out. That's not bad. That's not crazy. And like skating? Like skating? It's like it's so much extra force. You're making me feel better about having a kid.

That's not bad. I don't want to change those diapers, but. I'm running out of the sink. Throwing the tub. By the foot. Yeah. Drowning. Are you cleaning yet?

Yeah, I don't know. It's like a sonic move. How hard are you? That's fine. Yeah, I don't know. Sex is cool. It's important. I like it.

But it's also like, it also fills me with rage because it's like such a source of so many fucking horror stories in my life for me it's for no reason i just wish women weren't trash i it's all women's fault for me it's not always it's not always women's fault for me it's it's like there's like a pretty 50-50 for me i am i'm a fantastic guy great i'm a really great guy now i've been really in the wrong half the time i've been really like completely like what the fuck why'd you do this to me i'm a a great guy now.

But it's just like, I think the issue is, I think the issue with sex for me is just like, I don't like talking about it really. But also like I'm aware that it's like, and I understand

that's gonna sound really fucking annoying. But I happen to be pretty good at it. Right. Everybody thinks are good at sex. No, but I, everybody thinks they're good at sex. True.

Right. True. I'll leave it at that. Like I, like I've argued this. I don't, I've argued this to a stand still and I've proven it right once. Yeah.

One of my friends who was lesbian was like, oh, girls are better eating pussy. And I was like, I'm sure I'm better than you're ever met. And she's like, that's not true. And then she told me yes afterwards. And I was like, I told you. This is the data that I base things on. It's like I told you. Right.

Where it's just like you can't, there are certain things where it's like, I'm people fake shit all the time. You know what I mean? And you can tell what people are fake. That's obvious. But you can't. And then there are certain things where it's like, you can't fake secretions. You can't fake secretions. You can't fake not standing up.

You know, you're holding you up and you falling down like a mania. It's very subjective. I would never say, I would never say I'm good only because I just know that I'm good for certain people. And then there's certain, like say, I'm not a freaky fucker. So I bet to some people I'm not good. You know, there's some people that require shit that I'm like, I can't bring that to the table right now. One of my exes love to be choked like hard. And I'm not into that.

So it wasn't like that compatible. because I'm not trying to expixiate you. For me, I was overly disciplined growing up, I think, at times. So for me, that is particularly something that makes me sign out of a relationship. Like, I don't like that. I'm like, this is not. I don't, I don't like that. A light, like pressure, but not choking.

I don't want to actually have you like, like, but like if you're just almost like using the neck for leverage or something. Back in. Yeah. I think for me, the thing is like, I like, I like knowing. that I'm good at it. So I think I conform to whatever is in front of it. You know what I mean? Like that's the game to me where it's just like,

oh, this is great. So it's like, to me, the easiest thing you can do, which a lot of people just, I don't know for some reason. They don't want to fucking communicate.

They don't know. Like, that's the big thing. It's like, nobody asks questions, which is crazy to me. Like, I've had conversations multiple times.

Like, no one's ever asked me this. Why? Yeah. Because they just like to figure it out on the fly and then they do horribly. Yeah. I'm like,

I like a lot. That's like quick play. How do you quick play out of that? I only do comp. I mean, it's like, I don't know a cop kind of guy. It's asked, I mean, I've fucking asked, while the, before we even met in person,

like just taught, like on the, the app days. Yeah. Sorry, getting out of us, oh, what are you into? You know, what are you into? That's like, a normal question. You go on a date with a girl, he's like, what are you into? He's like, oh, I'm into this.

What are you into boys? I'm into dudes only. I'm only here because my grandma's been asking questions. My grandma's been asking questions. I'm trying to throw off my sin. I really do. don't care anything about you. I think you shouldn't be able to vote.

But, uh, you know, we're here. All right, Nick Flintas. We're here. Nick, can a nigger live? Can a nigger live? If I wasn't a real nigger, if I wasn't a real ass nigger, I can't keep saying that.

The intonation. He's so fucking funny. The intonation in it is, is funny. It's fun. It's good. It's a shame he's evil and should die. Yeah. He shouldn't be saying that.

Yeah. Even vocally. He can't even mask it the right way, but it sounds funny. You know what it is. What is it? It's Fuentes. He's not like Nick Smith. Right.

He was Nick Smith. He wouldn't be funny. He's only funny because he's somewhere down the line Hispanic. That's the funny. It's obviously like here's, that's the funny part of him. Clearly. Yeah. There's funny white people.

Sure, but not young ones. All the funniest white people are. old, they're dead. Old and like Steve Martin or like, like Carlin, you know. I'm the new white people were boring, dude. They're all streamers and they just debate and they put me to sleep.

Yeah. Like, even people that I agree with, like, there's that, I don't know, Dean. Dean, where this guy is so boring. It's like Lex Friedman almost to be. I'm just like, I don't know what I'm just like, I don't care about what you're saying.

The debates annoy me a lot because like, when you debate, I don't think you should be trying to pawn somebody. But it's not for ponies. But that's how you get, It is, I understand, but the way that he does it, like I can tell that he doesn't do it right. Hi, I'm Dr. Jay Goodman and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about women's health, Amy Lynn Safatee Valentine, a CVS pharmacist from Long Island, New York, talked about just how often women approach pharmacists with questions about menopause.

When it comes to patients that are really suffering with the symptoms of parabenopause or menopause, it's really important for them to be evaluated by their OBJN because there are a lot of prescription medications that can help with that. If someone is really opposed to taking medications, there are a few lifestyle modifications that they can do, like avoiding caffeine and spicy foods, trying to stay hydrated, have a regular sleep cycle, get some exercise. Those are all things that could kind of help to limit the symptoms. Hear the full conversation, plus so many fantastic insights into all the stages of life when it comes to women's health.

Listen to Beyond the Script, a podcast from CBS Pharmacy, wherever you get your podcasts. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. and she replies with a low listen so we sat there listening

that was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full Hershey's it's your happy place like there's something like he's too like soft spoken but he's in this arena that he doesn't belong in

where he's like so what you're saying to me it's like so wait hold on I love what you just said to me ha ha and it's just like it's just like it's so fake to me and it's like no You don't belong there. I saw one recently that it upsets me because I want to bully him. I need him to actually finish.

Like here somebody lied and said they were a Trump supporter, but they came on to specifically just talk about Hassan. And their argument was that what came up that Hassan is like the worst and the worst political streamer and he's dangerous. And then the dean said is he think he's worse than fucking Nick Fuentes. And he was like, yes. And like, he was like, wait. you think somebody who's convinced hundreds of thousands of people that you know that to hate marginalized groups blah blah this is worse than anything hasans did and i was like yes well he's

done the same thing and then he hung up on him because he was like this guy's so fucking unsirious and delusional which is true however i need him to stick around and properly dismantle this guy because all that's going to do because that guy went running back to h3 subreddit or whatever the fuck he was and then was just like oh what a coward blah blah blah this so it did nothing and when you when you when you easily dismiss them like because you're I know you're in this is exactly the arena that you need to be in the one-on-one nobody leaves until somebody concedes and I can't do this thing where you eventually hang up on the person because I'm like no no no no no no we're going to figure this out but that's why I don't debate because I know that there's locked on the

same guy for like 40 years there's a lot of people that will for the sake of of refusal they just refuse to concede my biggest problem with stuff like that is I just I can't I really feel like the proving I'm right aspects of the debate has never worked. Yeah. To me it's not never worked. It's never been like oh I'm going to give you facts enough. I'm going to give you facts enough to just disprove you doesn't work. Well they just don't see like it's the problem that

I was just saying that they don't they move on. Yeah. They move on and it's like we got another topic just out and it's like wait we didn't finish what just happened. So then they go back to their corners and then like one comes in it's because the hyperbolic astrama and things come in. People say things that are so insane. One guy was like, I saw this on a fucking debate thing, and I couldn't breathe when I saw it because I was like, oh my God,

I'm floated out. But, but, I'm floated out. No, no, I have to explain that. No,

I'm going to read the $25 an update from names now. This has to be explained because it is so insane. You guys have to listen to this. Some guy was like women's, Women's rights don't exist because women's rights only exist because there are people to enforce them, which are men. And I was like,

anyone that would argue something like that is already in a place where you cannot have a conversation about them every person's rights exist because they're enforced by a power that is greater than them to allow them to be that is how that works with everyone's right well it's the same people it's the same people that when they say but like point it's not it's actually an insane point it's the same thing when people say oh that's a made up word like right oh yeah we're using every word every single word is made up so it's the same point it's like Like when they say something like that, I'm like, you're... That's a bad faith argument.

I don't know why you're here. And to have that based on someone's sex or gender is insane. So someone like that should be like, oh, get the gun and they bring a pistol and they shoot him in head twice. The second time that makes sure he's dead. I can't that there's some bad faith people that you probably shouldn't debate with. But you can't argue because what happens when you have bad faith arguments like that, they're so hyperbolic that they're meant to make you like back off. Okay. But you can't, unfortunately.

You have to disprove them. You have to like dismantle their argument And then prevent them from having to play stand on. My biggest problem is like all these new debate bros On the left, they all look like these little Bitch boy fucking baby almost I almost would think they're conservatives at first glance. Yeah, I saw I saw a few of them prop up

And they're clean shaven fucking what I was like, I was like what the hell is going on? I've seen because I had Dean guy got and I've seen other people pop up It's the bait. It's the bait. And they're like that was damn near pretty. I damn near my mind. I gave them your mind.

I was just a little bit like. I gave them your hat. I'm trained ear. They just don't, they don't look like, I put it this way. They don't look like caveman destiny. They don't look like filthy Vash.

They don't look like fucking giant Hassan. You know what I mean? The era's changed, but also that's how it's supposed to happen, unfortunately. They do that to, they do that to bait in these fucking, fucking rough and tough right guys.

Yeah. That think they're fucking alpha people. That's, it's engaged. One of them is wearing a suit. And he's, he's a progressive. I don't know his name,

but I saw him trending in my thing. And I'm like, I'm not watching that. There's another one. There's another one who's like, and I was like, I see what you're doing. You look like,

you would be hosted on Flint is a show. Like he looks like that. It's like the one, it's a guy named Javon something. He's, I'm assuming, I think he may be queer. I could be wrong.

He's a black guy that was like cat ears. He's overweight. He might be queer. He might, no, no, no, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. You might be doing it.

I don't know who this guy is. I know. It might be just to bait people. That's thing. It might just be simply to bait people into the conversation. Yeah. But like it's that's what happens now. What happens most unfortunately is that you're not going to find, you're not going to find.

They're not going to give niggas that are intelligent the platform to go up there and be like, hey, I'm going to dismantle these fucking horrible systems. Yeah. They're not going to do that. That's a bum. Obviously, they're going to be like small pixie-esque white boys because they're not going to give people that look like fucking. Where are. Emilio Gonzalez, the ability to go up on there and do that. Where are the whites hiring the Negroes like us?

Don't hire me to that. They say they, no, I want to be on a majority report and the humanists. They're all this shit. And I'm like, hey, niggas what's going on? There's ruining it. What's up? And then Sam Cedar goes on and we just can't find any good black people. Can't find any black people.

Sam Cedar's like, I want to hire. Black. We're all crazy and we're conservative. He's got like almost like a current thing going on, but it's not quite. It's like weird. They're conservative. Why are they so gay? and conservative, all the blacks.

Sam's like, I want to have black people on here, but everyone I choose comes in and immediately robs me. And it's like, I just, I'm trying not to change my back. That's crazy. When Sam believes they have one show where it's Emma, Matt Bender, and then this black dude, I can't remember his name. What's a black dude?

I remember Matt Binder being kind of an idiot a long time ago. He just makes monkeys out of the black guy. He just looks like, wow, he looks so disheveled in the show. It's crazy. It's hard. to like listen to it. Don't look at them. And then there's the black dude.

He's got a face. He's got a face for radio. Yes, he doesn't. That's so mean. Bro, the black dude, though, he like, he looks so angry,

but he's not. He's just, that's just his, he has like resting bitch face where he's just, I love my kids. And I was like, damn, this is,

my kids are great. He's intelligent, but like, that's why he looks like that. I also don't, I'm like, you're not going to win any friends. He's just,

he just always looks mad and he's like yeah and he'll give like he barely talks when he talks he'll be long-winded and you're like oh he's pretty intelligent but like I'm like bro you're nah not you

so much of fucking misfits not you the guy with a permanently angry face a guy who doesn't know what a bath is and then fucking Emma and then Emma is like I was like okay Emma you let me just block the other two

and you just look at Emma yeah Emma's a I don't have a problem with Emma She's cool. Yeah, she's fine. She looks like triangles. But like, aside from that.

She does a lot of angles. She just looks very like. Angular. She's polygonal to me. I don't know what it is. Every time I look at her, I just think she's like, she's almost done rendering. That's crazy. That's crazy.

Whatever. Yeah. Yeah, they need a brooks back. Because of the shit we say we'll never. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I know. We're in an island with like, where all the bridges attached to it are completely

burned. like destroyed Sam and Emma I love you Come on the show Come on the show Yeah definitely I'd love it on Sam Cedar actually That'd be interesting

I mean you would not Sam Cedar wouldn't have you'd be like It wouldn't be like a debate or I'd be like oh you're Yeah so there would be no reason to have you then Look Sam You'd do great no Oh well

Look Next time you guys are in New York You have me Oh You really accepted that You're like Oh Okay well

You gave me a information. I was like, well, you can't really be bad. I think it's treating me as less than. As you know, they were just equivalently dumb. We're just both trash. Perfect. Let's get the fuck out of here. Yeah, let's read the names now. $25 and a patrons over. Okay, let's not.

Bye, guys. New laughter engaged. Yeah. The new, he bought the new fucking laugh micro-sandjection pack. Yeah, you bitch. What the fuck? That was so mean. That was so last end of it. I'm giving Ubisoft your money.

That's like someone like doors closing it, Derek just throws a rock at the last moment to get it in. And then perfectly. Boom. Yeah. No, it lands right in the door as it stops. Oh, that's perfect.

That's really like, and it's left a jar. Those are like a once in a lifetime. Or like, like, those are things you wish other people could see. Right. And no one's there like.

Yeah. I remember I kicked to be. I think I told the story before, but I kicked a bee into some kids throat outside of karate class. And I'll never forget it. Yeah. I'll never forget that. My friend hitting a fucking rat

Not a rat. It was pretty much a rat to squirrel With a fucking rock And killing it. Yeah, that's fucked up. That's fucked up, yeah. They always dodge it, he said. And I was like,

Oh, I guess. That's, I understand. And he banked in. I was like, I understand being a kid and thinking that too

because you're like, oh, they're going to move. Isn't it magical? They always dodged no matter what I do. You underestimate your own ability, I guess, right? Because you're just like.

Oh, you overrestimate theirs. Because I would run at pigeons, you know, like crowds of pigeons in the, New York City. Of course. Because they would all fly away, but sometimes

one would just be too stupid to understand. Sometimes they're sick. Yeah. A lot of times when they're not flying like, but you see birds on the ground and you're like,

oh, you're not feeling well. That's so much for tragic. I just killed a guy. Yeah. It's like, it like panicked and they flies right in front of a car.

They thought it was the doctor pigeon coming to rescue him. Yeah. And it's your foot. Was that the doctor pigeon I called? Yeah, he's like, oh, God.

Finally. the pigeon ambulance eating the pigeons Alka sussar in the beach of the seagulls that is the most evil thing ever That's crazy And they were laughing

Having a ball And it's like you guys are murderers I've never thought about doing something like that Harming animals like that Like I don't have a lot of sympathy For some of them Like seagulls sucks specifically If they ain't fucking with me

I ain't fucking with them It's as simple as that I don't fuck with you though I couldn't kill an animal with a face And that's where like by like When I can see a worm When I can see its face It's like this is different

It has like eyes and a nose relatively placed somewhere in a similar direction of me And I can see pain I can hear it hurt Yeah, it's like oh you're doing that And something's up off with you What about a worm? How do you feel that a worm?

Worms don't make sounds They're not audible They do make sounds You just can't hear them They're not audible They go like this to go I'm a worm They do gremlin sounds

Yeah exactly Anyway we're gonna read the names now I'm a worm hey I'm a fucking worm I'm outside Stop throwing salt on me It's raining, so I'm out here. There's a guy out here sucking us through the pavement.

Stop eating us. I've been so attached to that image. With a good, greasy sludge face on him. I've been so attached to this image for the last, probably like 10 years since I lived out here of this guy goes out and onto the pavement in rainy days and just sucks on the pavement until the worm's coming out.

It's just such a fucking entertaining image to be. But we're going to read our $25 on a patron's name now. You can go over to Patreon. on our Comcastle Snark Tank. These are $25 and up patrons. If you want to have your name right at the end of the show, you can go ahead and fucking do that. Make me read these.

I know it's so stuffy. Way too many poppies. Yeah, I love poppies. I love them, but god damn. I'll eat a brick of poppies. I'll stuffy my gun into your liver. Do you know what was really great? I don't know if they have them out here.

I haven't had them. I only really ever got them in New York, but they had just the poppy seed rolls. You know? Oh, I have them here. I ate them. But you know what I mean? Like there's some that

They're like Kaiser Rosa Poppy season Yeah Those are fucking so good I don't I don't really I hate with the mess that they leave Because they always always sees falling off But like they're so good I don't really eat like white bread anymore

Like I try to eat like wheat bread or like whole grain Racist Why? Huh? This is better for you I mean barely It's better for you Oh no

Particularly Uh Whole wheat is better for you Sure Yeah we is But I try to eat like only that stuff And for rolls, they don't make weed rolls. You got to make whole grain.

I'll tank it for the, for the roll. So what I do is- For the poppy seed roll, I'll tank whatever that that's, especially now. Dude, now they got my sense to taste back, I don't, I don't care anymore. Like, I'm hungry right now. We're done recording. I'm going to go home and I make a sandwich and like a wheat roll because I'm fucking ecstatic that bit. Put in the air fryer for a little bit.

Ew. Air fry your sandwiches? Oh, yeah. Air fry this with a cheese melts. The bread gets to poke out. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, we got, we got a, I didn't buy a joder. white ass shit

sandwich presser oh pinini press yeah shit it's a game changer it's not it's not pinini it's uh it slices them too

so like it'll diagonally so it does that sounds like it's a bitch to clean is what it sounds like yeah so I don't use it I've used it a handful of time I love my air fry that's my fucking baby

my air fry I haven't got on board yet I used one at the Vegas house was a couple of them but to me I still just put on the burner and put my like to me guys if you ever had a french bread from Albertson specifically

It's good fuck it's that I haven't tasted one better I want I would like to find because there's barely Any Albertsons anymore I use my air friar every Not every day but you fucking butter Lightly salt French bread and then toast that shit Dude I think I would if about fucking food I might fuck that

I want to point something out what I do no no no just like you're talking about This bread right You're just like yeah it's so good And we're off on this conversation about the bread at Kingston's like, I use my air fryer. I was, it was still into intros of that, please. Yeah, but I love how completely separate that was. I still don't care.

You should get one. They just, it's so much counter space. So you put it away afterwards. I'm not going to do that. If I have to put something away, I'm not going to get it. Yeah, we're ridiculous. You're kind of at capacity right up. I bought a crock pot.

Yeah. I'm like, I'm starting to get to the world. I forget that I have a rice. Cooker? All the time. I love. We use the rice cooker all the time. That's the one thing.

I tell her, I'm like, I want rice every day. But, you know, it's only like every other. I love it. Dude. I knew I was getting older when I got a rice cooker for Christmas and I was fucking happy. I was like happy like getting a PS2. I'm happy to get socks now. I was like, yay, I got one.

Because I hate the idea of buying socks. Anything that I hate the idea of buying, I'm happy to get. I need your socks. It sucks. So I get it. Exactly. Package of underwear? Hell yeah, dude.

Anyway. For Christmas, but yeah. Cole, anyway, I'm going to read the names now. Cole Shedra Eddras. I feel like I just said something evil in some language. Hasbullah Magamlovich Magamdav, cosplaying Chautzu exploding on stone cold Steve Austin's back. Hi, I'm Dr. Jay Goodman, and I'm the host of Beyond the Script,

a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions. that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about pediatric health, Heidi Martinez, a CVS pharmacist from Edinburgh, Texas, talked about how parents can help manage their kids fever. When it comes to fevers, it would just depend on the child's behavior as well as the number that the thermometer is kicking back. If the child is behaving normally and they're not having any obstruction to their lifestyle that they usually lead, then maybe a fever reducer might not be necessary. If you see that later on in the day, it progresses to mom, dad, I'm not feeling well.

I need to lay down. And you know that's not normal for your child. Then it might be time to give them a medication for a fever. Here are the full conversation, including so much great advice for parents when it comes to keeping their kids healthy on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS. pharmacy. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say.

And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's. It's your happy place. Who is cosplaying as Napa. I mean, that last part was implicit. It's kind of implied. Racist Hokage, sleeping when Patreon Auto starts the podcast. Nice.

Kiss my nuts and suck my ass too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to kill the president with a martyr. Got him. That colon is Excelsior. Nice. We'll call it the Gulf of Gay. It'll be so gay.

It's Emma. Two rats in a trench coat. Emma Viglin? Emma Viglin? Emma Viglin's a pastor? Oh, yeah. She's a patron. Oh, thanks so much.

Yeah, thanks a lot. Triangle face. That's so mean. Triangle face. I don't even know why I said that. I don't even think that. I'm going to send it or see what she thinks. Hey, what do you think of this clip?

Interesting, right? No. I'm going to kill Chris Reagan. Okay. Go ahead. Give it a shot. next time you're in New York, man. I know they're in New York, so.

Yeah, it's right they are in New York. I'll find him. You'll find him. I'll find him. I'll fight it before they find me. Get a scalding fucking jambalaya soup. I'm going to kill Chris Reagan. I can't.

I do a Sam Cedar really well. He's hard to do. It's like, because there's like a gravelly kind of, there's a gravelly curmit in the back of the voice. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's really, it's really difficult to do. I've never seen anybody do it successfully.

Yeah. Also, I've also never seen anybody attempted. It's not like it's true It's not like people are You don't have very many moments That like what does he do? He's usually the one like Debunking stuff

So it's like how do you make fun of that He's not like a like a public figure He's not fucking saying a bunch of things Free Derek Chauvin Free Derek Chauvin We need to have that He's like that neck can really squeeze the milk out of Abby's tits I love the bronze knee cap

His knee will get the job done He'll milk the tits well from Abby. You guys should sit in a circle and gorilla grip each other's cocks until they turn dark purple. Eel Usiv Joe. Gail Gooner. Investigating Laura Palmer's murder. I'm straight but love penis.

Okay. Pretty cool. So are you a woman? Oh, I guess that's a riddle. That's crazy. That's funny. It's also straight. I don't know.

Women? What's gay, but also straight? I don't fucking... Weeho? Neil Patrick Harris's dead body. I guess that works. Holy shit. Because he's so wanky.

That's insane. The Gay Trick starring Keanu Reams and Lawrence Bitchburn. Bitch Burrker Broly Gapshotting Sweeney. What the fuck is that? Oh, it's just my... Oh, that sounded crazy. I thought there was like a... I don't even know.

I thought it was my dick erecting? No, I just like, it's such a clicky... I haven't heard. I don't hear that sound often if ever, you know? Yeah, that's true. I love people blinding their babies like that. You see this Derek? Guys, I've been thinking about getting to watch.

Flash made the fuck out of that little naked, dude. You see that Indian, a little Indian boy caught on fire? You see what I see you? No. It's pretty cool. No. It's pretty cool. Pull it up real quick.

I did not see a video. Jesus Christ. When he dropped the brick. Oh, so he saw. So he saw. See, he's fine. The Sloker, too. stupid ass kid

that's just a dog's not for your attention it is I don't know what you're talking about the sloaker to why so derpy uh thanks to all these memes I genuinely can't remember

what J.D. Vance looks like it's getting there yeah Kingston's Cobra Cock let the cummies hit my tongue let the cummies hit my tongue let my cummys hit my tongue what are you telling me

that I can breathe no George I'm telling you that when you are ready you won't have to God damn it sending Casey Anthony back in time to infant Trump. Damn.

Yeah. I alone am the skullduggerous one. Domo Nation, Vaughn of the Dead. Come to... What the fuck is that? Take us out, Chris. Come to level up Expo in Vegas so I can get you guys to sign my bryl shirt.

I don't know what that is. Depending on when that be... What expo? What is it? What Expo? Level up. L-V-L-U-P. I don't know.

I never heard of that. Do you guys remember of Penaata? He's going to talk again. What is it? Viva Penaata. The game? Yeah. Yeah.

Game was mad fun. I actually never played it. I never played it either. It was really fun. Because I was at that age where I was like, if it's not Gears of War, like, you know, also not Mexican, so. Oh, right. Wow.

I mean, Lily. That was way before. It was way before. Time is a single point. Yeah. Time is relative. So that, this all happened. Yeah, I know.

But it still wasn't around. Anyway, so what is it? You don't know that. This kid. It's just a child. It's an Indian. outside of giving himself a blaze. I don't know what kind of liquid they had,

but it made the fire thread further. I don't think that's water. Unless the water is so full of gasoline. I think they doused him in fucking butane or something. Because I'm like, why did he explode in fire afterwards? Like, it exploded. Someone's on fire and you're like,

I got you. Boom. There's a moment where there's a giant, flaming fingers standing up that's just gunpowder I don't know that's stupid kid quick poor gunpowder down his throat it's like why would you even want to I don't want to do fire stunts

it's so dumb fucking fucking Indians man Derek not chauvin is innocent free him round-eyed Asian absolutely lying and gaslighting about the massive one fun fact oh yeah I figured it sounded believable but also like what yeah I never checked it

to see if it was true or not feeding a baby Korean fire noodles and seeing what happens. Although these are hints, although there are hints towards a multiverse existing, there isn't actually any evidence, unfortunately. I like, it's just a matter of fact. Now you fucked. Now you have fucked up.

Of course there's no evidence. What the hell is he talking about? Such a fucking obvious statement. It's like somebody writing in and say like, my computer discharged. I have a dog. It's like, oh, my dog bar. There are. millions of dogs on this earth.

There are so many dogs. Have you ever noticed that there are so many dogs? What's the deal with how many dogs there are? How many dogs exist right now? I mean, really? I mean, hey. They're bargain,

but they're not even trees. Okay, get bang. They're barking, but they're not even trees. That's crazy. How many? dogs breeds you think it's about how many dog breed 200 million 48 200 million

I'm gonna go like maybe 112 while you middle balled us 670 million you just picked it between us what an asshole 670 million there's approximately 400 realized

400 what the fuck did you approximately 400 realized dog breeds realized realized what the fuck you're saying or recognized I guess so much yeah I guess I understand what you know 400?

400 million? It's crazy. 400 million species of dogs? 400 million species. How many dogs? Millions in each of them. See, you're not counting the planet of dogs that they found on the outskirts of the Milky Way. On the planet.

Oh, excuse me, I misheard you. He misheard him, so he's still right. Yeah. Yeah. Because he misheard you. Yeah, stupid. Dumb fucking pieces. Being talking about it's so stupid

You're wrong You're right That must be tragic Yeah What do you mean If there's a plan of the dogs Would you want to visit it? No, absolutely

Absolutely not It's funny, reek Right Rieke You be so much shit And piss everywhere No they clean They eat it

Yeah Yeah see That's other thing That makes me like dogs A dog walks around He goes woof woof yum shit Woof yum bark shit! Woof, whiff, yum, bark, shit, bark, shit!

Young shit, bark, shit, yo! Stop, stop. So are they, are they evolving or? Like, so they're just like past maybe their Neanderthal, like, stage where they're kind of communicating a little bit. That makes me sad. They're Neanderthal Moranians. Yeah, that's crazy. What do what that looks like?

Look like that Whatever conjured in your brain When you heard that Yeah Gah Take my barbed curved cock Bubb Brow

Brow Meow whirr Miao Wolverine going meow Tuffley is awesome Meow Meow Meow

Black Panther going around I don't like how people start putting that as the word now Yeah that they're using the Minchum

Is the Ninja ER? Yeah. That is... That's crazy. Ninja. I want to be ninja. What is that? Oh, you've never seen it?

You've seen it, right? What is that? You must have seen that video. I saw that video the day came out. Sounds like a foreign person. Well, I don't remember where I saw it, though. I saw that shit. That's one of my earliest YouTube memories just terrible.

There's one of the earliest... So there's like a... Ninja death. I guess there's like a... Like a banquet or something. thing, and it's for some lady, and so it's some white lady. She's singing.

Is this it? Of course. This is what about say video. How'd you fucking find that so quick? I'm going to say videos, actually. I don't know how to describe this, though. Like, we need to describe it a little bit more. She is a mattress saleswoman.

Is that real? Yes. And what happened is that she wants to create the best beds possible. So he's like, I want to create, I want to be a ninja, like the best ninja bed salesman ever. Oh. So she goes.

and she starts singing this really disrespectful attempt at like an Asian accent, but she's singing it directly to an Asian woman. Well, not that's not directly, but she's right there. She's doing it in front of a crowd. It's almost like a like a skit almost. Like a get together.

At like this banquet hall. And there's, there happens to be an Asian woman in there and the front. And she occasionally locks directly with her. But, but she's like, the song is crazy. So it's like high tier cringe?

It's, This is a bit. This is a little... I don't remember this being... I guess she's one of those Megan Kelly. That's so white! She's just like... It's a crazy...

It's a crazy video. That's crazy. That's like inviting like some niggas right there and I want to be niggas. I'm locking eyes. It's a really crazy event. You have to sew the whole thing. There's one of my favorite videos.

on the internet. It's just so crazy. I know that people worse than me and I'm like, I want to be ninja. That's fucking crazy. I'm sorry you haven't seen that. That seems like right like something that you would have something that you would have fucking. I don't know how I didn't come across that because I particularly I feel like it was on touch point O that I saw that actually.

Oh. To me I'm more like the the, remember when you can get viral videos from TV shows? It's fucking crazy. Yeah. Chinese freestyle rap. That's probably the oldest like crazy one. Yeah. Remember the CKY thing? Yo! Yeah.

Who like my. chopsticks hit you with this uh something stick with the wait with my little ass dick yellow if you want to see me eat yellow i never seen nothing like you before i can kick you higher than you can kick me i can kick you way up in two one tree who wants to taste of my oolong tea ho ho ho ho ho chi everybody in the full book named chang want to see my wank yeah dude everybody want to see me throw a fireball that's not right not in real life it's so it's for a freestyle it's pretty good like right yeah i was like oh he's unless that motherfucker had that shit written down.

It's very possible. It's shitty enough to where it sounds real. Right. That's the thing. But that's the trick. That is the trick, though. Yeah, you got to make it sound like you're stuttering. I mean, if you're in,

the people that do battles, like, none of it's original. They're all, like, studying and shit. They all write a bunch of shit. Yeah, because I'm mine. Anyway, Swini made me play Digimon against my will at a ditty party while Lily watched and,

I don't like reading that shit. It masturbated. in Spanish. In Spanish. Masturbating in Spanish is crazy. Yeah, how's that? How's that guy? I think he cooked.

He cooked with that. That is a, I mean, that last, masturbating in Spanish is cooking, unfortunately. Ah, see. I. It's disgusting. To the slapping. Chupomi weevils.

Oh, yeah. Anyway. So I would like, bam, bram, bra. Beza. Wepa. Fuck off. You're not a part of the joke. Fuck me slow, but make it hurt.

Thugzilla. King of the Hoodsters. Losing all my friends in the custody battle. Kurt Cobain, POV. Hey, and welcome... What? Hey, and welcome to the kind of gay gay cast. I'm gay.

Death. Jack the world's fastest malware rebranding to Jack WFM to make the ending of my Patreon name jokes longer to fuck with the short one. Milk and cereal. Oh, funny. I just got the J.D. Vance Meat Canyon notification. Oh, now.

Fucking 24 hours later, essentially. Oh, classic. I love you, too. Yeah, it's very good. I'm raving people like you in prison. This is fucking wild. Whoa. My name is Jake, and you guys have really hurt my feelings.

Good. Good shit. What a Jake, thanks. Jake from State Farm, you little bitch. Fucking American Dragon, Jake, bitch. What is that? Yeah. What is wrong with him?

He's the goat, man He's built only to Boom Whatever, man Any, Guna pill by wisdom to work I guess the agility Andy, the man who's handy

So now back to S-tier and forever dandy We smoke in filtered crack You stupid piece of shit Shimmy shimmy ya shimmy yam shimmy yam shimmy y'em Give me some pipe because I'm dead and gay Lost it all at the Cortez Gay, that's crazy You all got some change

When Elon finally dies catch me going stupid in the club like Jim carries the mask kids are you in or are you out of my ass spider man Sweeney's the type of guy to float while smelling pie Evil Kendrick be like

Bad kid bad kid sane city So stupid So fucking dumb Wado defending Israel Wistful boeing Aladdin hop goblin Hi I'm Dr. Jake Goodman

And I'm the host of Beyond the script a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, All About Women's Health, Amy Lynn Safatee Valentine, a CVS pharmacist from Long Island, New York, talked about just how often women approach pharmacists with questions about menopause symptoms. When it comes to patients that are really suffering with the symptoms of perimenopause or menopause, it's really important for them to be evaluated by their OBGYN, YN, because there are a lot of prescription medications that can help with that.

If someone is really opposed to taking medications, there are a few lifestyle modifications that they can do, like avoiding caffeine and spicy foods, trying to stay hydrated, have a regular sleep cycle, get some exercise. Those are all things that can kind of help to limit the symptoms. Hear the full conversation, plus so many fantastic insights into all the stages of life when it comes to women's health. Listen to Beyond the Script, a podcast from CBS Pharmacy, wherever you get your podcasts.

One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there, listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's. It's your happy place.

40K Fax. The nicest space marines are black. Salamanders. Kevin Durant's feet, 10 cum shots. I'll take them all. They call me El Fagilado. It's ridiculous. Dr. Man, love, or how I learned to stop wearing and love the cock.

Fuck you. I ain't paying my TV license bitch. Mr. Peeing open. Peeling open. ass like you're putting a garbage bag over the bin. Whoa. That's crazy. Good luck. Yeah, have fun.

Fuckface Unstoppable, the prince of fap hazard. Spumbofutters, jolly old dipshit, the ace of parades. Derek wears a tiny beanie on each toe. That's Tim Poole more likely. Can you imagine? There's a tiny be on every single one of his toes. That's crazy. I wouldn't be surprised, though.

He's just sitting there. That's so fucking disgusting to imagine. definitive top five black people LeBron Keith David future Tim Duncan Sweeney Goatman I'm the head of the motherfucking state N-word I brought you change N-word what the fuck

thanking N-word Okay I thought that was I thought there was just Sweeney just talking Yeah Pussy Pounder That's true You've never brought anybody money

Pussy Pounder with cheese Gay Bart Simpson says, eat my cock. When the marimba rhythm starts to play, spread my cheeks making me gay, like a lazy ocean hugs and sore, fuck my holes, gait me more. Gay little beetle here to confirm that the transgender mice are real, but it's stupid for Doge to cut the funding.

I don't know what that is. Sonic fans found a way to recompile Xbox 360 games. Human shield, more like two birds with one stone. The Revenge of the Sith game is amazing. Smitchie the Kid, the greatest gape. Ichibon Kasuga plays Monster Hunter. It says play Monster Hunter. he plays monsterans.

Post-clarity nut, Scrotocles, Harvinger of Testies, Haver of Balls, need me some calcium cannons right now. The Negotiator. After watching three of his most popular vids,

I agree with Chris about Josh Johnson. I don't know what... I don't even know who that is. Gay. Ush. Someone angrily screamed, bitch, you need to chill the fuck out.

And I thought that was kind of ironic and funny. These voyage, these are the voyages of the Starship Dentipribe. on its continuing mission across the Sweeney's Toot Cap, Craig to Canadian, I'm done being racist for good. Now I'm racist for evil. Damn. Damn it.

Racist for good is wild. Who is British bitch. I love how their faces look. What is that? It's a British woman. No, that's not a British woman. It's like a stung person. He's like eating it.

This is her. What the hell? That doesn't even really look British. It just looks wrong, you know? I mean, that that's the point. You ever been there? No, but it doesn't look wrong in a British way. It looks like...

Do you ever been there, Chris? No, that looks like... That looks like gummo, you know? Chris, go to London. You ever realize why Wallace and Grumman? What did that profile is crazy? That profile is crazy. That profile is crazy.

You ever been to Waltz? You ever seen Wallace and realized why Wallace looks like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the average. That's the standard. I don't know, man. Like, you go there. Like, you go there. Trust me.

We've both been there. Go there. They legitimately think the moon's made out of cheese. Well, yeah, that's too. That is core to the Gromit franchise. Yeah. It's the best episode when they fucking go to the moon. It is.

And Grub, it's like, can we leave? Well, it's like, look, Roman, I'm going to kill myself on a moon. I'm going to hunt the moon, grumman. There's no baked beans up here. I found the choice, Grommer. I finally take the fucking helmet off and dies instantly. Do you know this, Grommer? The moon's made a change.

I hate you. There's black people on the moon, bro. They're from the moon, mate. There's nothing wrong with that, really. I thought it's funny. I just think maybe they should go back there, you know? I really thought. It's not like we took them.

That is, I mean, fairish. They just brought them from the moon to Africa, then brought them from Africa to other places. I can drop my penis in Vietnam. I can shoot through three tons of solid concrete, Grummers. Nothing can stop me. I lost it in one of those foot traps. I was trying to fuck the ground.

I'm going back to Earth. The dog's like, I'm out. Where are you going? I was telling you my stories, mother. My precom smells crazy, grommet. That's not like, he goes, sounds crazy. It's so pung. rubbing his hand dripping.

It's like lemon and grease. Should I see a doctor, Grommer? I don't. I'm, I don't know why I'm still here. I really want to die. You've made me want to die. I wish you never had died to me from that pound. I wish I stayed there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The order was beating it when I was better. The order beat me every day. And I was way happier there. I hate you. All you feed me is cheese. You suck. You fucking suck.

What a great way to start the morning. A cup of tea. Oh. He pours it on his fucking dick. You can smell his dick cooking. You hear it's so fucking, fucking, you know, Whistle comes the tea kettle. It's whistling and immediately just

Just the tea bag on his tick. There's four frames of him getting it and getting his groin. There's like smell lines coming off of his cooking penis And then like the dog starts. The dog starts smoking. I imagine that whole animation. I saw it perfectly. I don't think I've ever seen grummit like float like this.

Absolutely not. I don't think I've ever seen him like movies. that way, but I feel it. Delicious cooked penis. You want a bite from it? I'm going to fucking kill you. Dix is cock and the beans. All right.

Right on you. Yeah, good job. British cuisine. I like how my jaw looks funny. Beans and penis. He uses his dick as a spoon to dip the beans. It eats it off his dick.

That's so hair. It's so long. Little tot. That was real good, Grummit. It's a little time. What do we do the rest of the day? Grummet, I'm going to hide various tennis balls up my asshole, Grummit. I've built a new invention, Gromit.

It's a machine that makes you suck my dick. Clamps his head. It's this crazy Rube Goldberg machine with like spring-loaded boxing gloves. and all sorts of fucking gears and shit Grummis is fucking fighting dude

don't find it it's built for you to find it you shouldn't fight it but you can if you won't If you want to know sooner the more pleasant just accept it

Just accepted The fight of my nose is clogged actually like makes it a way A way better This is a really sad version of Wallet and Grummet Of course

Perfect version What you mean? Perfect This is actually the pilot Imagine when we're fucking I don't know if you didn't go to school in the city But imagine the giant auditorium of a New York school And like you know a lunch time

They have all the little kids sit down there and watch something That they shouldn't be That they don't get to fuck about And it's just wallet it gromm at this version And the kids are crying Orientation And one kid is like Interesting

Well yeah one kid's like oh I love that I'm gonna build those exact machines I'm gonna build that for my dog Get the tea, the beans The scalding hot water on my penis I've got all I've invented a baby peeler, Grummet It peels babies

Much like an orange Look at this If he puts a baby in That's it That's silence Quick silence It works like a charm Grumits, go clean it up

I better get this Just puts big beans on it and it's ready I better get this to the king To the king, he pours beans on his skin on the skin baby, and it's ready to go. With his big-ass fucking teeth. Straight out of the cat. My favorite British delicacy, broiled bean baby. Brain baby.

Babies with brown sugar brazen beans. Yay, grommet. Aren't you happy grummit? Grummet is already well gone. He's been gone for brown. Bumman's got a hobosack and fucking $18.70 and $7.7. He's trying to make a way. Yeah, this could last for hours, so I'm going to go ahead.

Right. Right. It's your boy, Sean E. Welcome to Hill's Kitchen. Special guest, Wallace. Wallace. He's a lot of you, guess. Wallace.

Wallace. It's just that. Wellis. Greetings, Jim Ngui. It's Wallace. Grieettings. Oh, love, thanks for having me. And he's fucking weirdly shaped.

He's like braids. He's big ass. He's really big, too. The ratio, it didn't, you didn't, you couldn't tell how big is. Wallace is tall as fuck. And Grumman is huge also. Wallace, no, Wallace is like 12 foot six. And then.

And then, and then. It's like regular height of a person. Yeah, Robb is like a regular. And so, like, thanks for having me. Thanks for everybody. Welcome. Wallace Welcome

Do you want to see my penis No no wait I love this idea So what is he What is he on? He's on Hell's Kitchen Yeah yeah Right

So it's like Set it up What is he making I'm making boiled baby Stoop It's got to be like What are you gonna be preparing For me today

I've got a broiled bean baby for you Sounds still Just like mother used to make Wow Wow wow wow He does the triple He doesn't Wow wow wow

Sounds delightful You have 40 minutes Go I can make it in 10 Wow It's so barbaric The connoisseur aren't you It's a fucking big ass

Walk And fucking Because it's never It's never the guy That brings the food out It's always like some like intermediary Like a like a you know Like a waitress or something

Right And he brings it out It's like here's your bean boiled You know bean broiled baby Um And Gordon Ramsey's like He's just going He's looking his hands

Unbelievable He peels the baby open It's like It's fucking wet It's wet I can't eat this I can't do It's raw

It's raw This baby And you know You ever seen him Smash fucking salmon He'll be He fucking smashes the baby to pieces It's raw

And he's Oh dear Dude Gordon He's walking in the kitchen he's upset with what he's made. He's upset with Wallace. Is he upset? Yeah, he's upset.

Yeah. You got to play it. You got to play it out. Do it. Do Gordon Ramsey. That was a good impression. Way better than mine. I can't do it.

Absolutely dreadful. I watch way too much Gordon Ramsey. That's why. Well, the way that he, it depends. The scenario totally depends. He's usually not, he's usually comes down on you like a disappointed father if it's a competition.

Yeah, yeah. If they're cooking and serving, then he yells. I like the idea of it, this being like, This is Wallace's restaurant. Oh, so it's a kitchen nightmare. Yeah, it's kitchen nightmares. Oh, my God. Is this a fucking baby?

Is this a human baby? This human baby is raw. You gotta get your customer sick. You can't take the beans out of the can and just spray it over a diced baby. Well, it's a family recipe. Well, your family is shite. Well, we're, that's, I mean, we are clay. Listen to me.

Listen to me. Are you some kind of fucking idiot? I'm clay. You are talking to me. You clearly have brains too, even though you're clay. I built you the best man I could possibly build. Listen, shut the fuck up. This is all I know how to make.

Shut the fuck up. Where's grummit? Where's the fucking dog? Where's the fucking dog? Because I imagine the dog could cook better than you. And it pans the grummit like somewhere like in Tahiti. Like relaxing He's lynched himself in a bathroom

Fucking heroin needles He's just fucking like He's just fucking like He's like He has so many heroin needles And he's kind of standing up on them That's crazy He's killed him

Fucking swinging He's like He's got so many hair on it And it's like he's an angel He's like angelic He's like sticking out of hair Wings That's so much heroin

He's spinning from a fucking lamp Robin I'm sorry He won't get killed him Don't Me's not I can all for you is a complimentary pre-com pie. Well, I've got to say it's better than kidney pie, so let me taste it.

Here you go. You go, he's just... Oh! Give me a second. Give me a minute. Give me 40 minutes. Give me 40 minutes. That's still crazy.

I need that it takes way longer than the broiled baby. Is that it? Wait, look at the reading. I hate that you just show me. farted on it. What is it? What is it? What is, what are you showing him?

I just woke my phone to the, they've made him read this. I literally don't give a fuck. Why would you? Why would you? Bad. Showing the show on the show. It's so annoying. It's funny.

It's funny. It's funny to us. It's funny. Why you're so hostile? That is bad. I literally don't give a fuck. Come titty. Stark tank fans are now homeless and deported.

Service agent 267. I swear I thought they were called acidic Jews. gay snotra's perfectly polished derby shoes sticking out of Louise Guzeman's ass cave diver style Calling out Derek for calling us trans women Oh my god Trans women are men 229 And the tasteless use of Fsler 305

I don't remember The what? Calling out Derek for calling us trans women are men In episode 229 I don't know if that's true I have no fucking idea what they're talking about Yeah, I don't know. Trans women are men that transition to women and now they're women.

Right. Yeah. The fuck is the point. Yeah, that's the why they're trans. I don't know what the fuck this is a nigger's talking about. No worry. I don't have to sit. Yeah, that scared me back. Like, I was like drifting a little bit.

I kind of saw that. That's why I had to get a little extreme. I was like, this dude couldn't be fucked. That's my favorite one. That's my favorite one. I like hiding Negroes in four. and attacking them with several weapons. I like hiding in the bushes around the Grand Concourse.

That's great. The one bush. The one bush. I sit in that bush and wait for a minority to walk by. It's usually pretty quick. That's fascinating. Wow, wow, wow, wow. He was actually on the Grand Concourse.

What does this have to do with food? One of his episode is on him on Grand Concourse. Actually, I went to go, Gordon, Ross. Wallace and Grummet. Wallace and Grumman on a Grand Concourse in 1998. What an urban environment. Grumman is like, can we leave? I feel scared.

I feel scared. Where can I get tea, goodman? Hi, I'm Dr. Jake Goodman, and I'm the host of Beyond the Script, a podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer all those health questions that you forget, or maybe are too embarrassed to ask when you're at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, all about pediatric health, Heidi Martinez, a CVS pharmacist from Edinburgh, Texas, talked about how parents can help manage their kids fever. When it comes to fevers, it would just depend on the child's behavior as well as the number that the thermometer is kicking back. If the child is behaving normally and they're not having any obstruction to their lifestyle that they usually lead, then maybe a fever reducer might not be necessary. If you see that later on in the day, it progresses to mom, dad, I'm not feeling well. I need to lay down.

and you know that's not normal for your child, then it might be time to give them a medication for a fever. Hear the full conversation, including so much great advice for parents when it comes to keeping their kids healthy on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar

and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I opened my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low, listen. So we sat there listening. That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full.

Hershey's, it's your happy place. Oh, yeah, Bobby. He lands in the shape of a tea. Oh, yeah, Bobby, I don't say, but there's coffee and bacon, egg, and cheese. Jeez. Big again. Derek's gay class, where if you can't suck day

for more than 30 seconds, he rips your colon out. 30 seconds, you better be able to do 30 seconds. Yeah, that's late. That's like a fucking amateur. Yeah. Slerper's broken.

Smoking-M-H. Lord of all drip. D.E.I stands for Doof-Merts, evil incorporated. Obi-Won-Shablo-Me. Waiting for the Sween-hunting tier. I want his pelt. Cremlin to Gremlin.

System of a gay, Gap Suey. Hey, Gabby and Zach, back on the podcast again, please. Marvin Gay. I didn't even have to change anything to make a gay That's great Biblically accurate

Biblically accurate Ben Shapiro Bivocally accurate Is him going to hell I guess yeah Well I guess it depends Yeah I guess so

There's no hell So can you really go to hell If there's no hell In Judaism Ouch It's a lot You better not believe in hell It's a lot

It'd be sad Oh it's really hot down here Ammy I need you to Relieve yourself So you can douse these flames with your milk. Abby,

come down the flames of hell with your milk. Abby, forgive me for reminding you, but don't you have to go to the bathroom right now? It's like I went before we before we left like 30 minutes ago. I was like, surely you've got something brewing. I'm sure you guys. He must have something so broke.

You're a woman, I know. You go to the bathroom every 10 minutes. Every 10 minutes. I know that. I know that. I clock it. I clock it. I go in immediately after you and sniff the aromas

until there's nothing left. He's so massive pervert. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised at all. I wouldn't be surprised because he's so, like, buttoned up and shit. I've licked your toilet seats since we were kids. Clean, clean, it's clean. It's me, Ben Shapiro. It's me.

It's me, your brother. I know, Ben. I know, Ben. I know, Ben. It's me. Abby Shapiro. It's me, Abby Shapiro. I recall everything that you did.

I had a camera installed, in fact, because I'm also a freak. I got really mad when you would shit on. the camera. He's got to have the clean lens. Which is crazy because the camera was on the ceiling. That's crazy. Blast damages. He lays down on his fucking shoulders.

Everything in this shit hard. My favorite way of shit is to close the lid entirely and press my anus against the flat surface of the lid and shit is hard as I can. Until it goes through the lid. Think of it as a fountain in upside down. It's a reverse I just make sense I'm Amity Shapiro

It's crazy Look at my kids Look at my tits They're fucking crazy They are large And rather wet I'm a fan of a snark tank Look I'm Mabit Shapiro

Look at my tits Milk is crazy What are we doing Sweene Sweene What's your opinion on the Fantastic Four How would you rank them What in general

Well one to four of the people Who's the fate? My favorite is obviously Ben Grim. Duh. That's what I'm saying. Because he's, because it's ties to Israel. Yeah.

That's what I thought too. He is my favorite Jewish character ever. I mean, he was Jewish. You think you know, but underneath the rock. He's either the rock, Yamaica.

Yeah, the Yama rock. Yeah. Yamaka. Yeah. Yeah. Mocker. Yeah.

Yeah. Rock. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Man, that flowed so well. Man, that was perfectly not cacophonous. Come ra, come ra. Wageley, 583.

Ben Shapiro vertically bisecting himself to eliminate the left part of his body. That stupid. The Pippini Brothers presents Gordon Ramsey cleaning Asmengold's room, ASMR. Donk-Donkerson, the colon swinging slasher, Yo Sween. I still have the old hooked-on-phonics login. My family had for my nephews and nieces. Do you want it? It's yours, dude.

That shit works. That's crazy I mean I guess if 100 I would take that Big Dicks works that should work I would take that that's a wild offer That's crazy That's crazy

PP I got hooked on ebonics It's dope I got hooked on chronic I got hooked on the boobonics Masturbation I got hooked on boobonics I'm so sick You see that picture

So I drew of Omni Man Or he's like Mark Chief the shit Mark And then it's so like poorly drawn like villter my wig

and an arrow, Viltramite Weed and his eyes are so red. It's so funny. You ever seen that? No, I have no idea of you know. I think anti-comedy is so much funnier than anything else. A lot of times I think anti-comedy is so good.

It sounds like something you would say, yeah. It's so much better than like things that aren't funny. Because they're funny. They're funny because they're not funny. They're funny. Like, yeah. This is so stupid. Like, it's like, Chief This shit, Mark. Yo, Mark, take a hit of this.

It's like, no, dad. Since Kingston is too afraid to shave his head, I decided to draw it. Viltramite weed. The universe lets it be known that his Viltramite weed. We got something here. Since Kingston is too afraid to shave his head,

I decided to draw it. Check email for cul-de-sac swine. Oh, fuck. Oh, damn. I'm not logged in on my phone. Got great. That's awesome. It's a circus of value.

It's a circus of value. Love Byershack. I wonder if it's the same guy. that made the, sorry, he did me as J.D. Vance. Oh, yeah, that was upsetting. Yeah, I forgot to show this on the show. Yeah, go ahead. That's him as J.D. Vance.

Jay, me, man. Ew. It's so much worse than I remember. Yeah, it's pretty gross. Deweck Blackman. Like, whoever fucking started inserting him to talk like that. Yeah.

Say thank you. How do you even? Thank you, please. Yeah, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi, I'm Dr. Jay Goodman. host of Beyond the script, the podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer the health questions you didn't even know you could ask at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, we are diving

into gut health with CVS pharmacist Victoria Motola, who explains why so many of us live with stomach issues we should not accept as normal. A lot of what I see is just like chronic bloating, chronic stomach aches. Like I get a stomach ache every time that I eat. And it just becomes comes like a lifestyle where, oh, yeah, you know, I just, I have a stomach kick every day. Or I'm constantly feeling like gassy. And all of those things are not something that generally, if you have a healthy gut, you should be living with. So that's when we deep dive.

We deep dive into your medication. We deep dive into your OTC medication. And then at that point, we can probably identify something that we can change. Hear the full conversation, plus some fascinating facts about how gut health affects so much more than just your stomach on beyond the screen. A podcast from CVS Pharmacy and IHeart Radio. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar,

and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I open my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say. And she replies with a low... Listen. So we sat there. listening.

That was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full. Hershey's. It's your happy place. You forgot to say thank you. Oh shit. It was well better drawn than it should have been. Is that?

Oh my God. That is way. Who are you? Is this merch? We got to hire you. That's, oh my God. We're all bald. This is really cool.

That is so good. Oh, put that in the chat, man. That should be like, that should be, if you reorganize, dude, if you reorganize that in like the one, two, three in the moon, you know? That's awesome. That is good. That is an amazing drive. Yeah. I also want to share it right now.

Oh. It's that good. I can't get out of it. My phone's so fuck. It was actually a virus. Jokes on you nerd. It's a good-ass virus. Damn.

God, I can't breathe on you. Go fucking blow your nose and finish reading. No. Me too. Libby Fisci, limp biscuits and gravy, the KFC cum pledge. John Strickland, Merck's 1889, Ben Gassin, Netton, Yajus. Nice. It's so stupid.

The first judge of Keith David, Orson, Orson Wells, more like a sample, clip of his new song, honey? Oh, no. I saw the album, the album covers. Of course, the album covers just a swastika. So red swastika. Like, oh, clever. Remember that guy you really loved? Yeah, I do.

He died. He has new song. He says something like, how could I be a Nazi if I'm in, and he says a hard R. Okay. And I'm like, what he's,

his new song has the spirit of, it's very clear that he's been, um, inspired by Dave Bluntz. He hit him, he hit Dave Blunts up recently. Yeah, yeah.

So he's like, he's like, you're my new favorite artist. And this new song has the vibe of like, it's so unsurious where he's saying like inflammatory shit. Like, oh, I got like, you know,

like Dave once always says the hard R. that niggas hating on me because I'm a fat you know like so shit like that so uh Connie is um now taking beats from Dave Blitz he's now he's inspired He needs that already man It would be better at this point

At this point So so what I can't even listen to his music anymore He's lived long enough to become the music anymore He's getting to the problem like I don't even want to associate with you Yeah makes me really sad Because that was my favorite artist This is cool

He's probably still my favorite artist that isn't like an old-time artist. It's probably him like Marvin Gay and like Michael Jackson. That's so, that's such a crazy. Marvin Queer? How was that crazy? It's just, I just, I would have never put Kanye up there the first place. Well, yeah, because you don't like his music. You also don't listen to it.

You don't have a frame reference for it. I've listened to enough of it to be like, this is fine. That's, for you to say that while everyone I make about music is like, oh, no, his early albums are amazing. It's crazy. I mean, that's entirely fine. I think it's insane. Like, it's like denying something's like, oh, yeah, this person's a good artist. And everybody being like, yeah, it is.

And you're like, I don't get it. And it's like, that's, you can not like it to respect the art of it. I'm saying authentically, like I've heard like maybe three songs that I liked. How many songs have you heard? Enough. It's definitely a minority of the ones that I've heard that I've liked. But it's just like, yeah, I mean, I, all right. I think his modern music is definitely suffered.

I think his first, like, four albums are just are solid. it's just clear to me that he's a psycho and he never really had anything to say. Like he's just so clearly a fucking deranged lunatic And he's probably always been He's probably always has been like And so it's just like all right well I guess there's no meaning to any of this So it definitely got worse

Oh when his mom died definitely got worried I think he started fucking accelerating Accelerated after she passed Donda fucking was a Very like a like Stability in his life And then now it's just something he listened to Who I'm gonna be like

Someone to be like oh yo chill you're bugging. Yeah. But she's, his mom was an educator. He's saying she like that. It's like crazy. His mom would be like,

what are you doing? Yeah. What are you doing right now? Killed him. And she would like beat him savagely. She would have been really disappointed, definitely at least, but it's like,

anyway. He was just making our life harder for his kids. Like his kids who already have a shit life ahead of them. Already. They already got a fucking ball time ahead of them. And it's like, Dad, it's great.

Your mom's fucking famous for being the worst person in modern American history probably. Well, no, Trump still beats her, but Sure But she's like one of the most hated people ever Who? Kim Kardashian People despise that bitch, man Especially modern times

I actually don't think I think it's more That's older, I think I disagree I think people don't really care about the Kardashians I think they care less now But they're still very disliked though They are very disliked

I saw like one tweet about them But I didn't know what it was about Like they're so irrelevant right now Yeah I think they're significantly less hated than they used to be I think they are more hate than it used to be, but they're less relevant than they are wherever. Well, I think by definition, that's impossible. Yeah. I think, no, I think that people just don't like them now, but I think they were more in the public eye.

People saw them more, but I think they're just not respected at all anymore. I mostly before they were loved and hated. Because I saw people, I saw people even like as, even as recently as like the last couple years, kind of like shifting opinions on Kim Kardashian. Well, I gave her- Lily is close to that stuff. I gave her some flowers of, uh, the lawyer should. I respect her. getting people off where I'm like it doesn't matter you know like said

even a really terrible person can do some nice things and I can respect that aspect for sure yeah so I was like some of the stuff that she's done I listen to her podcast where it's talking about the people trying to get off and and I was like oh that's crazy that this dumb broad is

involved in this at all when she could just be laying on a yacht not going to fuck about nothing that's true yeah and that's now whereas like before there wasn't any of that nothing you know I mean she was famous And she wasn't good shit. Famous just fucking dudes and that's it.

Yeah. Connie and. Just holding on a relevancy. That's the problem. Is it right? She's like, I'm close to it because the fact that

Lily is someone that was a fan of her. Yeah. And she absorbs that tea content of that. She like watches that shit. So probably a lot of old fans probably like like like they're not what they hate her with fucking wild passion. Why? Because she does good things now.

The good thing she's done. They're boring now. You're boring. Her good things aren't recent, recent things. They're like fairly more recent than like more recent than when they loved her. That's true. But he's also like being involved in like businesses like fucking snickily. She's like done kind of underhanded things.

I'm only knows because I'm, unfortunately, have to hear it. I mean, I would imagine. I would have to. I was my assumption about everybody there. You know, of course. Because for me it was like she always sucked. So like her people hating her now for sucking is like, that's like to the party shit. He sucks.

That's how about Kanye. Hi, man. He's made good music. I was right so early. That's all I can say. And everybody was like, what are you talking about, man? I guess people got, well, people got a glimpse of it in 2009. Yeah.

People got a glimpse of it when he said the thing about George Bush. I thought that was very appropriate. I think it was very appropriate. But the most of the thing is like, oh, he's office rocker. I mean, it was that. That was immediately. I love that. I look, because that's what's so great about it.

That moment would not be nearly as good. Yeah. It was just him. It would be so lame. Yeah. But he was like, yo, dude, for real. Fuck. Like, we had one job.

One simple job. I knew it. I knew it in 2009. just because it was just like what a fucking psychotic like it's so stupid I'm gonna let you finish you dumb slut but Yante had the greatest music video of all time did not I'm like I don't did not at all

I I'm so the Taylor has beat her no wasn't that the single ladies video where they were just dancing in black and white I don't remember I'm just not revolutionary I don't I'm I the way that you feel about Kanye is the way that okay go music video is better Beyonce Beyonce that way for I feel that about

Beyonce I just don't I maybe maybe two or it's like it's a Exactly. Like, outside of this child. I can acknowledge. I get a monster talent, but I got it. Of course.

Like, it has nothing to do with like, like, I'm not despairing to the talent. It's just the songs don't hit for me at all. Like, oh, they dropped out. A lemonade came out. Surprise album. I'm like, this sounds like whatever to me. Yeah, I listen to all that. I think one track on it.

I was like, it's kind of good. Maybe. Yeah, probably like that. I like to break my soul or whatever. I thought that was okay. Just not enough for me to like want to keep it on a playlist or anything. I was just like, that's not far demographic, man. It's definitely.

I understand that. Which is weird though because like I back then R&B like say Tony Braxton is one of my favorite artists. You know what I'm saying? Like back old school R&B to me was so fucking she's not R&B. She's not Beyonce knows not R&B singer. What the fuck is she? She's a pop singer if anything. Well, I guess but it's also.

That's not R&B. I know what you mean like by by by by by process of elimination. It has to be R&B what she sings. She came from R&B. Well, I don't mean like that. No, no, no, no. I think you're right. I think she is more.

but also it's not a true that's the thing it's not a traditional pop it's not the the same artist like Taylor Swift is clearly pop you know what I mean it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's yeah it's negro pop same then with Tony Tony bryston is like R&B but that's for a while it's definitely pop same thing with our Monique not Monique um there's I think her name is black bitch damn don't see that It's one of them. The art, the comedian, the actor?

It'd be her. That's crazy. I don't think she's a singer. She can sing. She can sing pretty fucking close. Tony Braxton, man. Guys, Unbreak my heart.

It's one of the best R&B songs, dude. So good. It's a good song. Great song. It's a good song. Some niggad dying in a music video, a motorcycle accident. And then she's just crying over his death.

And I'm like, man, bitch, get over that shit. I'm here. That's so good. You selfish piece of shit. I'm like 10 years old too. Come fuck did me right now. You know what's funny?

You're what's funny about the Kanye thing in 2009 specifically when everybody was like when he interrupted Taylor Swift or whatever. Everybody was like oh he's crazy for interrupting Taylor Swift

and I just thought he was crazy for thinking that Beyonce's music video was the best video of all time. I thought it was a good video that's the craziest part of it. Oh, he's insane. Because no sane person would ever.

Especially the same. of all time. That's insane. He said one of the greatest of all time. I still would. That's still a reach though for me. I wouldn't. One of the great of all time in the sense if you compiled every single music video.

Extreme. Of all time. It would be there, I guess. But yeah, it's not even in the top like 500. Yeah. I would, I would unironically say alien and farm covering smooth criminal is a great music video

and well over, say, Beyonce's whatever song it was. I genuinely can't remember most music videos, so I don't know. That music video is so fun. Hi, I'm Dr. Jake Goodman, host of Beyond the Script, the podcast where I sit down with pharmacists to answer the health questions you didn't even know you could ask at the pharmacy counter. In this episode, we are diving into gut health with CVS pharmacist,

Victoria Motola, who explains why so many of us live with stomach issues we should not accept as normal. A lot of what I see is just like, chronic bloating, chronic stomach aches. Like, I get a stomach ache every time that I eat. And it just becomes like a lifestyle where, oh, yeah, you know, I just, I have a stomach ache every day. Or I'm constantly feeling like gassy.

And all of those things are not something that generally, if you have a healthy gut, you should be living with. So that's when we deep dive. We deep dive into your medication. We deep dive into your OTC medication. And then at that point, we can probably identify something that we can change. Hear the full conversation, plus some fascinating facts about how gut health affects so much more than just your stomach on Beyond the Script, a podcast from CVS Pharmacy and IHeart Radio. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

One sweet, melty bite of a Hershey's bar, and suddenly I'm right back sitting on the front porch with my grandmother on a slow summer afternoon. She doesn't say much, just breaks the bar in half and hands me a piece. I opened my mouth to say whatever a nine-year-old wants to say and she replies with a low listen so we sat there listening

that was the first time I learned that quiet can feel full Hershey's it's your happy place huh I can't remember most music videos I haven't seen a music video so fucking long well I mean then there you know it has been a while they have kind of I still for whatever reason they still

in the in the um metal community they still make a lot of them and I think it's it's such a waste of money but they still do it My primary music is hip hop so like music videos hip hop don't matter Yeah it's usually they really don't matter at all They're usually just pick a location and then do shit it's not a car and walk around It's usually not a theme It's like it's not like bling bling hip is not the bling air hip hop is just like someone rapping is like I don't Right someone rapping about how their dog died and gave them lymphoma or whatever the fucks and

And gave them lymphoma Handed them lymphoma with it Here's my death and lymphoma I think of so many videos that are but like even just that fucking What's that band that did the fucking The Those old viral YouTube videos What is it?

Okay go Okay go I need to hear the They had like the That famous treadmill music day The treadmill yeah That's an iconic one Oh dude

They had the one where they did like the entire Fat boy slim In a plane right In the plane right had one like we're in a plane for the Muppets movie Oh I don't know Maybe. What the fuck was that song? All their music videos are really good, actually.

The Christopher Walkin one, the five boy slim one. That shit, that shit was dope. Yeah. Like, how the fuck did you get him to do that? It is crazy. He's in a lot of crazy shit. And then you have Beyonce. It's like, guys, we made a dance in black and white.

What song is it? Do you remember? What? The one that was the... I think it was single ladies. Was it single ladies? Yeah. Which everybody remembers it, but like, it's dancing.

I just don't like that song. Yeah, it sucks. It doesn't. I think it's catchy. It has catchy. It's catchy in the same way that like high fruit goes corn syrup is addicting. It's not a, it's a jingle. It is a jingle.

It's a jingle. It's a jingle for like a dating app that sucks. Yeah, dude. Christian Mingle or something. Christian Mingle. Yeah, oh, so, yeah, them dancing casually is the great. Shut the, I understand why Connie likes this. He bought a house that.

It's just white. It was just white in its background. It literally is just a white background. Oh, it's my house. Oh, it's my house. When did I? I could, I must have forgot the thing. I invited my house to shoot this video.

It's the greatest of all time. I'm trying to think of a really important to me R&B song that I cannot remember the name for it. And it's driving me up the wall. It's like, uh, her name starts with an M. I forgot what that's her name is. Maya? Was it Maya? But what is the song?

I don't remember. Maya sounds right, but it might be, it's not Mary J. Blah, Who is the queen of R&B to me. She's kind of the goat. She's the queen of R&B to me. She's kind of the goat. Mary J. Blyde. But Maya was, uh, she, she only had. Maya was like 90. She wasn't like when I was a kid.

She didn't have, she had a couple of, uh, yeah, she had a couple of hits way back in the day. No, Celia Cruz. She was amazing. She was amazing, bro. Sure. She's so old. She was old my entire life. Yeah, she was so died when you were like maybe.

Like, I don't know what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Do you remember the song at all? Oh, no. No. I remember the feeling the song of votes. That's it. Yeah, that's hard.

That's it. I remember this if I don't, I'm so, I'd have to go through my YouTube searches and, like, go through a very black moment. YouTube searches aren't even accurate. I'll be able to find it. If you guys, it bothers me. What's up? I don't know if you guys have noticed this.

Have you ever tried to find something in your YouTube history because you know you've seen it? But it's not there? It's not there. And you're like, I definitely search this proper. Like, it makes me crazy. Like, I think YouTube's, like, history is a complete lie. Like, I don't even understand, like, how it's that wrong. I'm like I'm looking for this episode of this thing that I know I saw I know it's available

I know I saw in the last week and then I go I scroll through it and then it says three months ago For some reason it didn't retain the information at all like what does it choose to retain and not? It's so weird I don't get it oh my God my brain's halfway connecting the dots of the song and it's making me angry You're thinking about it anyway we're gonna go it's me Casey Anthony I love you Kingston Pepino spaghetti playing illusion of Gaia right now nice fuck yeah dude that man so many people people have not played that and they need to play it. They need to play it. It's so fucking good. Pryraz.

Blake 896. Who do you think you are? I am. Autistic Sabrina Carpenter. Be like, I'm working late. Because I'm autistic. Chris having contingency plans for Derek and Sween. Absolutely not. Das goopy. Elon's baby armor

sounds like a joker bit. I forgot about my Jared Fogle time machine name and wrote a question into a book club and they read my question. Not name. Do it again, but with the worst name. Yeah, do it. Yeah, try.

Put, um, my name is Jared, Jared Fogel and I love boys. Put that, make that your name. My name is Farad Jogel and I'm fucking, Farad Jogel. I like that. Yeah. Shot young Sheldon versus ran over head, Joel. Ran over head, Joel.

Bash and Head Joel is what you think, is what you're thinking, unless that also happened. Maybe there was a, yeah, maybe there's a variant that I'm unaware of. Yeah, maybe it's in the show. go it happened. Is it Monica? There is a Monica. It's Monica. Okay, I'm halfway there. Lewinsky? Oh, I know. Are you talking about

the boy's mind? With Monica. I know that song. Great song, though. And Brandy? Is it Monica and Brandy? Monica Lewinsky. Yeah, yeah. She's so good. She was like, it's the best R&B singer of our time. Monica.

Nicky, oh, I suck my dick so good. Isn't that weird painting? You got that painting of me in the dress? What the fuck, dude? What is this reality? I forgot about that. I think about that all the day.

Like, I think about that at least like once a week. I forgot. Oh my God. A painting of Bill Clinton in a dress in Jeffrey. F.D.'s Island. That's so fucking crazy. That is like we are being ruled by pedophiles, dude. Like, it's like, it's not even a conspiracy theory anymore.

It's just a thing. Nikki Ziki, A.K. Jesus Christ. I'm not reading that. What is? Nicky Zicky, AKA. Oh, should I read it?

So gone. Oh my God. I'll check it out. You might as well finish it. Okay. There's only like a couple of left. You make me feel I'm so gone. So.

Oh, gone. Why is this zoomed in like I'm old? What do you? So I can read it. Your glasses not work? No, it keeps you from rereading the same things over and over. I see.

This is like, it's kind of like. You can zoom out. It's not a big deal. It is zoom super far ahead. I love that it's in parentheses Jordan. What is it? Nikki Ziggy, aka Nairziger,

parenthesis Jordan. She had to let, you know that I did not do this. It's a fall guy. Yeah, Jordan, the white passing bead. Your name being. nigger ziggur is so fucking posthous. Can we put this somewhere on the ceremony or something or?

No. Is there something? Can we have the priest say like, do you take The priest? You know who's officiating that way? Should we say that? No. We shouldn't. We shouldn't. We should say it off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You shouldn't say it. It's fucking amazing. Oh, man, okay. Okay, let me That's too close. It'll sound don't go wrong.

Yeah, yeah, we won't. Cunning Clean Water Act Act is attempt to spread worm. That's true. Oh, yeah. Spread worm. He's trying to Here's the peanut. Go, my children. Kingston, why do you have Moleg Ball's mace now? Sorry, Chris,

but I'm going to get up to some funny shit with this. Okay, well, there you go. I'd fuck you up. They think the end on my head means something else. Crash. Confession. I started the tooth gap slander. That's funny.

Joey was just asking about that. He's like, why are people fucking, like, so hostile towards that? I was like, wait, it's just a running joke. He's the punching bag right now. It's great. Keep it up. It's great. It's always nice.

We have a punching mess like Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee is like the punching bag. What's that guy's, other guys? Cheetos Santie. Oh, oh, oh, oh, Adam Friedland. Kito Sanito. It's so easy with him, though, because, like, he looks like warms congregated and became a person. Literally, he's on the show.

I'm talking about one of the first few episodes, like the established that he's a bug. Like so it's been a running joke It is crazy Like he does look like he looks like a bug And a salamander He's such a strange Very odd looking guy Yeah

And very unfunny Odd looking duck Perfect for the show though Dog the baby hunter I like that he changed the name I mean the There's actually a picture of dog I didn't notice that

Oh shit Hold on here we go Sorry Miss Jackson badly brave A theory needs help loring his weapon In Halo 3 Orange Man Hunter from Missouri Nice Nade from Malifis went

Oh shit We're back to three pages Niggas dropping off By one By one No All right So rounding off the list

Wow We suck King of haphazard Let's go We are finished All right Thank y'all so much Oh yeah

Check out the The Check out the merch store Oh yeah It's been revamped Because So just figured out

and this really upset me I was actually really mad when I found this out so when you're designing the merch if you don't pick exactly what type of style you want what the method of them printing it they'll recommend one for you

and there's only two and so some of them recommended in this thing that's like all this it's like it's like swap meat fucking flea market ironed on shirt an ironed on fucking like disgusting feeling graphic

the description tries to sell it as it lasts longer, it's more vibrant colors. But yeah, because it's a fucking picture. I'm like, what the fuck are you say? So some of our merch doesn't have this.

Some of our merch does. Yeah. I have like a few test prints. Like one did and it's why I stopped making it. But then others don't. And it was just like I was, oh, okay, I guess it's, I don't know what the fuck is going on.

Yeah. But so there are certain versions of our shirts in the past that have been printed in a really stupid fucking way. Yeah. I don't is that fixed now So by the time this episode goes up It'll be everything will be ready to go Yeah like the old designs will be back up

It's so stupid The way this website works It's first of all I can't believe they even have that Available I don't even understand what the benefit would be to even have that as an option Because it's literally the worst kind of thing that you could own Tea Public was probably not even T Spring Tea Public is like known for being like one of the

The most cookie cutter ones you can use they don't even have that as an option even that the tepublic uses all emotion emotion and so it was crazy i didn't think that they would do that anyway yeah um you also can't just switch the method so you have to take them down yeah you have to re and redo it to re you have to basically remake the shirt yeah and i was like oh great that's very cool so anyway uh stores would be up um i haven't looked at it yet but i'm going to figure out there should also be a discount up there too because just kind of have it be like hey guys

everything here is fucking legit you won't get any ironed on bullshit but everything will be ready by the time this episode goes out so just want to put that out there yeah so there's a merch error merch error should be fixed by the time you guys are hearing this Starktank.shop. Shop. There'll also be new stuff there too. I've been stockpiling a bunch of stuff because I want to have

a big drop. Oh, good. Some art. We're getting some stuff too through the email from just like fans that looks fucking crazy. But yeah so snarktank.com.com. Dark Tank, as always, pop on over there. And we'll see you next time.

Bye-bye! I can't believe we hit four hours ago. This, this, this, this, yeah. At Arizona State University, we've made online education better, smarter, and more personalized, so you can go further in your aspiring field. I decided to pursue medicine once I realized that ASU did have the online program for biological sciences. You're still required to learn the same curriculum.

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