The Snark Tank - #314: Penisrine and the Pinkertons

Episode Date: April 7, 2025

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Welcome to the Snartek. You're about to get your news glazed by the great Chris Racon, Derek Blackman, and Tom Sweeney. Sit back and prepare for some glazing glory. These horses are left. The left are shaking very extreme horned horses. This horse seems quite, quite, quite, quite a, obsessed.

What about comedy? Bring me comedy great again. I mean, and a horse is fucking. It's comedy. He's being fucked. He's being fucked on the end of a large horse's dick. He's like,

it's comedy. It's comedy. It's comedy. The left doesn't think this is funny. Yeah, his arms are breaking. His arm twists through his fucking skin. I'm laughing to the,

two other horse come and hold his hands down. That's crazy. They take their hooves off and like little hands are there. Yeah. Get them. I'm laughing to the. point I'm mostly a mouth. It's like that image of Goku when he's when he's being grabbed by the great...

Anyway, welcome to the Stark Tag podcast. The nerve of you. Yes. Welcome to the Stark Tag podcast. It's me, Chris and Tim, uh, sweetie and Tim Derek. Good. Look at that. Very good.

Very good. I couldn't, uh, by the election of Wisconsin Supreme Court. Oh, that's right. I did see that. That's what it was. And Corey Booker. I don't know what that is. Oh, his, uh, his, uh, his, uh,

fucking, his, isn't he dating somebody weird? He was, he was, he was Arroyo Dawson for a while. Right, that's what it was.

Yeah. Damn, lucky bitch. Yeah, he defumbled the bag, done together anymore. He was like slapping those ficts like crazy and shit.

Lucky best. Okay, well, she's been fine since I was looking man. All right, so that happened. I don't know anything

about that too. I know that he was like bribing people with like million dollar checks. Oh, come vote for me. He was doing it again, right?

It worked with the fucking Trump, right? The bribery and all the stuff he spent, like, close to $300 million on the election. Sure, yeah. And it worked. He bought it. So they said 300 votes?

Yeah. Yeah, that's all it was. He bought, they tried to buy the Wisconsin Supreme Court election and was saying, this is going to be the, he was saying it's going to be so important. It's going to determine, like, the outcome of humanity. Oh, cool. And I think there was a lot of people that just, like everything does. On the right, once Trump won, they went back to not caring about anything. Right.

Exactly. Yeah. So he even with the 26 million that he poured into this election, which is record breaking, he was slamming fucking George Soros for pouring in a measly $2 million. Like, comparatively. How dare he? Yeah. Oh, my God.

These fucking billionaire oligarchs of this, Nick, right? I can't stand this dude so much. But yeah, he got blown the fuck out, him and his in his lackey. Yeah. I mean, I would take that money and just not, like, I don't. You'd lie? Why? Of course, for a million dollars?

Why not? Like, why wouldn't? I would too, of course, but also, you know, it, it was, it was not even like it was real. Yeah, I know. It was a pre-selected person like, oh, the head of this conservative, like think tank or whatever won the million dollars. Or like a glove company. Or like, we make a motion. Yeah, we make a, I mean, that would be nice.

Oh, dude, speaking of weird shit before we. Oh, right. So I got a package this morning. It was supposed to be. So I got a package, right? understand what I'm about to say to you I literally just bought a tongue scraper from Amazon because I was like I just wanted to do a tongue scraper

which by the way a lot of people don't do that which is strange I have a tongue scrape has a brush and it's a two-sided thing oh damn it's a brush and a scraper oh that's pretty sick that's pretty good I just wanted to replace it so I was like I should I should order one it's been a while and so it gets here this morning I see it it's like you know the

little Amazon app opens it it has the picture of your package on your doorstep and you're like oh cool it's here And then I pick it up and it's the address is completely wrong. It's not even like the wrong apartment or like the wrong like building on the street. It's like a different. Everything is wrong.

Yeah. And I'm like, huh. But like the app is saying, oh, but this is your package. So I'm like, I mean, I guess. So I open it. And it's just like a bunch of like, what was it like LED lights? LED? Powder.

It was, it was sodium citrate. So I was like, who the fuck wants this spicy? I can say spicy acidic ass. fucking salt. Like what the fuck is this? And then like many, many bags of like what my brain said, oh, this is emulsion. I don't know what emotion is. But like, just lick. I don't know what it is. It's like, uh, well, it was like a, it was like a, it was like a, so it was like something that. He bought honey packs. It was like, somebody brought a lot. Well, it's like somebody's making something fucking weird. And then there's LED lights. And I was just thinking, this is like turns into

some putty that's going to seal somebody in a basement. and then they're just going to use LED lights to keep them dimly lit and then it's going to be like a snuff film or something that's what I saw. My first thought was like I mean the LED lights threw me off a little bit my first thought was like with the powder

or the salt and then like and then like the packets they look like IV bags literally I was like is this someone's well I thought it was just like a oh someone medically needs this like sight unseen I didn't read any of it I just saw powder and like IV bags full of liquid

I'm like oh my God what's going on oh no someone's going to die if I don't get this to him but it turned out I looked up the address it's literally just a bar down the road Yeah And so it's like oh that makes sense

Yeah as soon as they're like Oh okay The bar you don't give it to them I'm gonna give it to them I'm gonna yeah I'll walk it down After the show or something But it's just like I'm wondering if they have my tongue scraper or not

You know what I mean I wonder if it's like a mix up pack But I doubt it because like what is the likelihood of that So there's a the likelihood Especially I think Like I think like I just don't get mixed up Like point to point

You know and also since since it's a business, usually they're handed packages directly because they're just like open. There's somebody's there. Yeah. Somebody's there working and then they go. But there's a tongue scraper. They're like, what the fuck? But here's the question though.

When you saw the package because, you know, a lot of times they'll do the picture thing. Sure. Was it not like weird that there was a box instead of just a thin package? Because they would just send like a thin package if it was just a ton of screen. Well, so my thing was like, I got home and I was like, oh, look, my package. and then like I moved and I was like this is a really heavy tongues graver and then I saw the

the sticker and I was like oh this is wrong entirely this isn't even my package and then I went inside I just left it there I was like I don't know who's fucking package that is sort of itself and then I went inside and then the day passed and then I checked my phone to see if it

like maybe that was like a mistake from some other and then it said no your packages delivered this is it and I'm like I guess this is it then like you know what I mean like I didn't understand what the fuck was going on yeah so I'm gonna walk it down but like I was like who the fuck needs this. I was like what

household needs this? Yeah. I probably would have you did a good thing by searching up the address because me I probably would have just threw it away well I would just kept it and made some sort of fucking just figure out something to make it something to happen to me the other day too

I'm getting all these mysterious packages. I'm getting like medicine I got like drugs for some Armenian guy. Of course. That guy's dead. Yeah yeah he's got no he came. Oh he actually like which to me it's like order to the right address my well if you know it came here like fix it wait did it did it actually say his address uh was it like the like the apartment number it came to my address but it was addressed to him and it was like with a

prescription all this and I'm like so it was your address and but it had his name yeah and then he came yeah he showed up he's like you have my meditin wait wait was this like years ago when he used to live there and never changed probably I got this these drugs a week ago yeah and I'm saying I've been here a while you think the guy just never changed the address? He's just, he's like, what a fucking boomer?

I think that's probably true. He was, he was old. He wasn't like shambling, you know, he wasn't shambling, but he was up there. He's like 60s.

Can't figure out and change the address. He's like, uh, fuck. He wasn't a spring chicken, for sure. This nigga lives in fucking Nevada.

Yeah. Like, fuck, I gotta. There's some things that I ever, I gotta go give my medicine. There's some things that I know, like I never changed my address for that I wonder about.

Like, I remember Dollar Shave used to send me all these like, you know, Oh, you're like one of our top sponsor things. Here's like a, I don't know, weird. Here's a cake made of shaving cream. Yeah. It's going to kill you.

Yeah. And like I never changed my address for that stuff. So I wonder if just some random, some random guy just keeps getting like thank you packages from like sponsors that he has no idea. Why not? I mean, I would, I would keep it.

I wasn't sure how to change it. I think I was just like, yeah, maybe I'm just not getting it. I'm sure. It's way more simple than you. Well, you could,

well, not through that, like anything that I, anything that I would do through that company would have been changed already because they pay me directly. They would have paid me directly with checks anyway. So if they had my change address, I assume they would have, you know what I mean? But I can't be like, hey, you should change my address and the other things because I have a feeling I should be getting a lot of gift packages.

You know what I mean? Like it just feels like directly is crazy. It feels like ridiculous. I'm not getting the gifts. I'm not getting free things now. Give it to me. Give me my gifts. Give me my free cake in fact.

Speaking of gifts. Speaking of gifts, we got a gift of seeing the Nintendo Switch 2. Oh, the new. Yeah, the Nintendo Direct. Coming out way sooner, I thought, actually. Oh, what is it, April? It was in two months. Oh, June.

June. June. They came on on on Juneteenth. That would have been cool. I mean, would it have been? Yeah. It's not like they would have. Nintendo, June 10th?

See, because what would happen is they would not acknowledge Juneteenth and be like, I don't care about Juneteenth. It's all about Switch 2. Yeah. Well, especially them because it's Japan. Yeah. There's no shot they know what June 10. They think we're still onies.

There's like. Maybe you think Roney Yeah, probably I've been playing a little more Black of a boy Yokai I've been playing a little more Shadows A.C. Shadows and like

walking around and then the guys are like Oh like they actually like look at you and they start going Oh I'm like this is great It is funny You're also much bigger than

Everyone About a foot taller than everyone On average That's why like You have a samurai It's really funny That's why it's like No duh he went there

And terrorized them he's a LeBron build. He's a LeBron. He's an NBA. Like he's like a, he's one of the, yeah, he's like LeBron, like the type of build that would be more suited for American football. Yeah. Went and played basketball. Well, you know what's crazy about that is like, Yoske's actual canon height in real life.

Do you know what it is actually? 7.8. He was only 5.7. But everybody else around him was simply 3.6. Oh, man. I'm not sure what I read, but I'm glad you corrected that. Yeah, yeah. He's about your height.

He's about your height. Yoste. I looked it up exactly two minutes ago. Yeah. You are right, though. I remember actually reading that just about a minute ago after you said. And then I remember seeing, yeah. After you said, it hasn't been a minute yet.

What do you mean? What's happening? I don't know if you're, I think you're misinterpreting time, actually. Yeah. Oh, sorry, my mistake. Yeah, exactly. So I found out after, I've looked it up just a minute after he said that. And I was like, oh, it's very true.

And, yeah, Odunobunaga is three, four. Oh, he was three four. He was like, hey, a blackerab. man. I am very I am very tiny but actually not because we're all, this is the average over here so I'm not tiny. Dude, I know it's like a dude it is funny

because I'm playing on English because I want to be able to hear it if I'm like walking out of the room. Right. That's the that's the reason. But like uh, they do say brack. There's a lot. It's like it feels, I understand that that's just how it is, but it there's something about the Asian accent that feels more offensive regardless

than a lot of other accents for some reason. Yeah. Like speaking Chinese authentically, like, correctly, feels offensive. You know? Because it's, it's, because it just... Nietzsche ding ma. Like, you know?

That felt evil to say. Especially a Cantonese, man. I can't do it. Yeah. I can't do it. That shit. It sounds so disrespectful. I speak it, like, in the way that you should.

I'm like, I, this doesn't feel right. Everything else is fine. Everything is like a spaghetti, you know? Yeah. Spaghetti. I don't go gondi, you know, like, it's everything else. Everything else feels fine. But like, I don't know.

I think the thing is because of the fact that Chinese is so phonetically different. Well, yeah. It's just not a similar language than anything we have. Right. So it just sounds silly to us because we're immature and racist. Some of it sounds silly. It's like there's, to me, it's just, it's, man, I watch a lot of 90 Day fiancane stuff. And a lot of times those loser men go to Southeast Asia.

You want to talk about accents that I'm talking. I want to be respected. so I promise you but damn like dude Vietnamese Thai some of the Burmanyese or whatever you call it

Not Filipino Filipino people sound They pretty much damn They speak Spanish Filipinos are fine No I'm talking about the ones But like the ones that I just dropped But like the brown Asians

The brown Asians Dude they I'm like holy shit Oh yeah And I'm trying to be like Like I'm like trying to like Watch him like yeah But then my stupid brain

Is hearing so wild sounds and I'm like mm-hmm yeah it will sound like a drop of water it's um it's it's a drop of water you know like a

dude can you do that you know some people can do that I can't do that I don't know how they do it but it's what gay I can't do it I don't get it

I don't get it at all what I kind of can you should be the rest of the I kind of can, but it's like very low. Like I can't do it loudly. Well, I don't need to do that though. Because I can just, this would be the rest of the show. I flicking, there's a hard arc comes out clear.

That is. I finally unlocked it. You locked it. But it's like not even your voice. It's somebody else's voice, clearly. That's awesome. Like it's like Nathan Philly and I'm like, oh, it's over. It's over for Nathan.

It's over for Nathan. You're done, Nathan. You were going to be in freaking the Green Lantern movie. You're, Fuck now. I'm ruining the whole DCU now. That was just supposed to be in the Green Lantern movie. I think it's gonna be Hal. It's too old for Hal. Hal Jordan? He's too old, but it's still he'd be, whoa.

Shallow Hal? Yeah, he's it. Well, no, no, no, no, no. I know. Shallow hell too. Yeah. Oh, man. You didn't know those. They already show. Yeah, that's certainly exist. It will. Actually, that's kind of crazy. It hasn't. They already showed, um, they already showed Guy Gardner. And they're going to do a show.

Gay Guy. And it's gonna, the main card is going to be John, obviously, because he's a, He's, you know, he's a diversity higher. So they're going to choose John Stewart. Hell yeah. He's going to go up there and he's going to be like, welcome to the daily show. I have the Green Lantern.

Elon sucks. That's the show. That's the entire television show. I don't like that. His name is also John Stewart. For a long time, I was really confused about that. I was like. I was confused in reverse.

I know. We knew. I knew a thing about a Jewish man. I mean, that's how you differentiate. My confusion was in reverse. I was, because I knew about John Stewart first before I learned about John Stewart. The Greenlander. I wish I had something to throw at you.

If I can't throw this, it would be a disaster. It'd be hilarious, but it'd be like, really. It'd be hilarious for our mini. It'd be like, oh. That is the beauty about, like, say, a show like jackass where you can do stuff that is unforgivable. You know, normally like, let me throw a glass bottle at somebody. That would be like the end of the friendship. But then it's good content.

Oh, you fucking asshole. And that's like the, dude, like one guy. I got a concussion. Oh, you peeled my rectum off. Oh. Do you remember, like, there was a, uh, the, it was like a door. It was like, uh, you, you press the, the, the thing that would project out and it, like, concussed the dude.

It was like, poof. And it was like, he was done. It was so fucking funny. You don't get me wrong. It was so funny. But I'm like, that is, you literally gave that guy brain dab. It's crazy. That's like, um, what is it?

When, uh, when they put like the airbags under these people's chairs. The popcorning people? Yeah. That shit is so funny. It's so unreasonable. It's funny. It was like freezing the air. You're like,

dude. That's good. Yeah, yeah. It's like the video that it's like the bear falling out of the tree. Do you see the thing

with Air Cannon when a guy, Air Cannon and a guy and he died minutes later? Oh, I did see that. I do know about this. What?

He put it under his pants, right? Yeah. So, that's right. That's right. What country was that in? It was like, I don't know where I saw it.

I remember, but that was in a foreign country though. Yeah, it was like China. Probably. It was at some factory and some guy's like, lull, and he puts like a pressurized air in somebody's pants, blows it. And the guy just, like, it's really evil.

And then he walks away. He exploded his colon, man. It's crazy. Like, how stupid could you be to think that that wouldn't do something insane? I guess people don't understand. People don't understand that. I mean, to be fair, I wouldn't have thought that that would happen. either, but I also wouldn't have gambled to do it.

Because my assumption that it, my assumption is that compressed air to that degree would at the very least like fuck a person's leg up. You know what I mean? So like I just would, I just would have would have aired on the side of safety not to do it. But I, I wouldn't have thought that like if you just put it in somebody's pants, that it would like blow up their colon and explode them from the inside. That's kind of wild. I would also imagine though that if you're working with those kind of tools,

you have a better idea of that kind of thing happening. If you're around those, you should understand how they understand it. It's like how when people slash tires thinking like that's not going to hurt them. Like that's so much PSI there, dude. Like I saw a guy like machete a tire and then like it blew the machete back in his arm. And it's just like, you do you not understand air? Yeah. When the sign opens the door and he gets like blown back into a wall.

That is very stupid. And he's like, oh. And they're like, oh, are you all right. And it's like, you probably broke a rib of his, dude. Like you know, you are, you are around. this. These are people that are around a pressure. Like they talk about the like people, I guess

people need to learn about PSIs because it's, it's fucking insane. Water, water can decapitate you. You can cut some water. Yeah, water pressure, you get like, yeah, you can cut something with water. I remember seeing like, uh, cut through metal with water. People fucking using, uh, to do fine, to do some fine cutting.

Like water graving? Yeah, it would be like just like a water jet and then it would just be fine down like, that's great. I can't stop thinking about this guy. the factory who's just biting his own fucking he's just doing your job and then your fucking inside explode

you don't even know what I like that's why you need this is morbid but the waste of life is so funny the idea the the fragility of like someone walking around living their life and then all of a sudden a fucking

rogue baseball domes the back when they turn their head and when the back of the head with a bump would be there's a baseball and it's like you did nothing It's just so sudden random and senseless That's why everybody You need to wear baseball helmets

You need to wear tight pants Or a tight belt To make sure nobody can penetrate I think the tight pants Are what did him in though I think Because I think if he had loose pants I don't think it would have been a big deal He didn't just blown

You know That what you think I think so I think what happened It's his pants For wearing tight pants I think his pants were tucked into his boots Because they probably were supposed to be And they just created a seal

Or like the only wear that the air could have gone Let's go up Yeah let's go up into this fucking guy's wrecked Is that what's happening with the Do you guys remember those Those models The like Balloon pants

Yeah I do remember those yeah I remember I wanted a pair I almost bought one But I just couldn't justify the price I would go everywhere in those How much they cost? On average they were about like

It was between like nine and $1,200 or something And I was like I can't I just like even for the joke that like I was even I was thinking about guys crowd fund me these bans but I was like I can't I can't do you go to rollergros or with him I don't think they'll let me on

I'll be like that one fat kid that fell off the fucking Supreme scream thing you remember what what? Oh my god I saw the video fucking kid yeah we got some fat fucking kid unfortunately he was like 14 years old or something like he was in the fake supreme scream you know like it just like

yeah yeah the budget one he couldn't fit and so the fucking mechanic who was like I'm going to loosen the fucking thing so instead of it like seal it'll seal like up and so he loosened it and then tightened it so it's like all right now you can go because it won't actually clamp on you that is so crazy as he's falling

niggas slips out falls 100 feet and dies like there was a fucking he falls out and lives I want to He landed on his feet And he was like, oh

And then he just went about his day Went back on the ride Fat kid falls out of a rehearsal lands on his feet He's E.T. Yeah, you play it. He's fucking, he's fucking Wuchickle.

He's Nigel Thornebury for a few plays. It's smashing. Smashing. His, his, Ha! Ha! Ha!

That would be absurd. I don't know. It's like terrio. Like my leg. Like my leg. And then it's immediately ragdolls. He looks like a real... Like, you put his dimensions in a real person.

And he has a need. And then he just transforms back. I love the idea they only catch it, though, after, like, they review the footage, you know, frame by frame. So then they're like... This is by far... This is by far the stupidest running gag that we have on this show is that somebody going through...

Through a tragedy of an intense trauma. dying, usually physics involved. And for at least one frame of their physical impact, they resemble damn near a cartoon character. I love the idea so deeply. It's so insane. It's so. I think I got it from like there was old cartoons.

Like there was a lot of old like flash cartoons where like sometimes like people would fight each other or whatever. And like there would be like one frame where they're like Michael Winslow or something. Something wild. Some ridiculous. face. Oh man. I'm just so obsessed with it.

E.T. to me is the one. That's a great one. Because I think it makes sense. It totally makes sense. Like, his tummy's on the floor. The Nigel makes no sense at all. I think he's insane.

This 14-year-old black kid turns into an old British ginger, dude. I think it's funny. I think it's funny because it's so morph. That is how morphed he is. He doesn't, he doesn't just look at him. He is him. The reason is that is Nigel Thorneberg. The reason I think becoming ET is funny because he is.

because I can visibly see because his head is flat, you know? So you could see like the weight kind of pushing down on his head. You could see like his body like kind of flattening out and then his legs are up in his body. Because he's landed so hard. It almost makes you think that

whoever designed ET probably saw somebody fall to their death. He probably saw that first. And it was like, holy shit. This is a great idea for a heartwarming coming of age story. Spilberg was like, I understand. I understand the Spielberg did it. Spilberg just watched the snuff films and people dying all the time

and get all this idea. Spielberg is me. He's just me. He's just me. I love you, Kingston. I love you. It's me. There's time travel involved and I'm Stephen Spielberg.

And I'm Stephen Spielberg somehow I somehow go back in time and I'm Steven Spielberg. You're Steven Spielberg. That's crazy. That's like as stupid as the plot Terminator. You go back and then you become this thing

and it wouldn't have happened if you didn't go back. Oh, it's brilliant. Oh, I remember the first time I saw that I was like, I was like, I was by myself, but I'm looking around like, wait, so Kyle Reese. Is he the, is this, he's doing that bit at four years old? He's got a fucking massive chin.

Yeah, that's what I mean. You're talking to the studio audience by yourself as a little kid. You see a parent walk in and you're like a kid. You're giving a monologue Walking around your house You're giving a comedic model You see this Terminator movie How can you become the thing

If you don't come back in the first place How do you become what you don't go back You go back? Yeah You said it like one of the What is it the greasers from a cat dog Oh yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I forgot about them Winslow the mouse In their fucking door Or their house Winslow the oh yeah The little mouse He has like suspenders on Right?

He's got like plaid suspenders I think if I remember correctly. He's like, yeah, cat dog. What are you doing? Imagine seeing Winslow's suicide attempt and everything's like tiny. He's a tiny little chair. I remember I'm always having his hands in his pockets.

So I like, like I remember always walking around like this with his hands in his pockets. So like I like to envision him like with like hanging by a newsboy with his hands. He's like so. How do you react to that actually earnestly? He doesn't break the bag. That's awesome.

Hold on earnestly. How do you react to see like any, any individual? Like it could be a cartoon character It could be a person Whatever I don't give a shit Like someone's hanging from a noose Their hands are in their pockets I'm honest

I like the idea of Johnny Bravo Doing it because his hands Is so much bigger than his thighs In his pockets Yeah So he's just Big bulges in his fucking pants It would look

It would look almost Yeah It would almost look more like He just kind of Chat himself profusely Before he died His pants would be so full Full is full

Full of the time I'm out of here I can't fucking breathe I'm showing in death Bye bye a little later I can't get no pussy I'm gone I think he does get pussy

I think he just pays for it I think it canonically does I think we just see him on his off days Yeah I think so Somebody who we Imagine being that horny on an off day Exactly That's crazy

That's made by some Filipino guy too Wait what? Yeah that show Johnny Bravo Say again He's that shows like a created by a Filipino dude. Yeah. Isn't that weird?

Like it seems like a, I mean not to say that like. Actually, no, it doesn't make sense. If I know anything about, if I know anything about, they love Elvis over there. Yes. No, they love the karaoke is king. Yeah. Show tunes in general is really important in that era of like that area of like that area of

Asia like when you get, when you just descend from China like musical like just singing and probably those kinds of songs, that kind of styles like right. Yeah, dude. That actually like it does make a little. It makes more sense than anything else we've said recently. Yeah. I get that. Yeah, the little black kid turning into Nigel Thornberry.

It's a pretty outlandish idea. We can still try to make a connection there somehow. There's no way in hell that this small black would turn into... Oh, you never saw the animation that was drawn of the... There's like a Twitter account that's probably just stealing clips from like YouTube videos or something. But there's these poor animations describing... like horrible ways people die. Oh sure.

It kind of reminds me of a thousand ways to die, but cheaper. Yeah. And it's is it those like rotoscoped ones? I think so. It's like it's like traced over real footage and it's like showing you like Chinese accidents. No, I don't think that's right. Oh, I've seen that. I don't think that's right. I don't know what it is. I've just seen it before and I remember me like are these real

like they must be. I don't know. I can let me see if I can find this real fast because it's just funny. Like it's because it's like oh, this is a real person dying in the way that like his eyes are wide and like It's like It's funny It's a real person Of course

Let me see why You guys make me feel like I'm so crazy For laughing at shit like this Meanwhile you guys are laughing At the same type of morbid shit Well we're laughing Well I think we're clearer about it

I think You're a little bit more nebulous What does that mean Well you seek this stuff out On Burbis No I'm not anymore What does that Not anymore mean

I don't Not today I haven't seen somebody Dying a little while What is a little bit while to you. Like, I don't know, like, maybe, be like, let's not be somebody die.

Well, there was this car crash thing I saw that was like insane. It was a drive-by shooting that led to like them crashing into a building, then a building collapsing on the car. And then a guy was getting in his car ahead of time. All right. Not answering my question. When was this? Two weeks ago.

I said to Derek, actually. So within the month. I said to Derek. You know what? Yeah. When a guy with a drive-by shooting that led to the building collapsing on a car? Oh, yeah, that was crazy. and some guy was just in his car trying to leave

and he got caught up into it too It's like what the fuck That's the worst shit I'm like oh they're done Sometimes you try to do good You just try to live your life You do good things Sometimes it's worth being bad

Exactly I think it is worth being kind of bad sometimes I almost feel that way now Not evil but like just kind of Like don't be great Because this is what happens Look what like Look what evil is

I'm in a Cecil headspace I think Cecil? Yeah Yeah I mean I'm kind of I've teetered that way for quite some time.

Yeah. I was much hard for power to be optimistic. I was optimistic. God beat. It's almost like a repeat. Like 20, 10, 2011, Arab Spring happens.

And then I'm watching similar things what happened. What was that? What is that? Yeah. Arabs. Holy. It's a stupid joke.

It's not really. It's actually a pretty good joke. It's just like, it's just like, it's just funny because of the subject. The flowers are so wildly different. I wish the Arab Spring was like White Boy Summer. Yeah. But like I just, I went through this already.

What a bunch of Jinz years are going through right now with like the Palestinians and shit. Oh, shit. Like I went through fucking post like long winded fucking Iraq and Afghanistan and then just seen the Arab Spring and seeing a bunch of horrible shit happening destabilization, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, yeah, I'm so. I want to be Seesil right now, dude. I just want to do like calculated. I would kick ass to Cecil. I do a better job than Cecil, I think.

Cecil still a little bit has has still a little bit of that a kernel of his old self in him. Yeah. Just a kernel of it that I'm like, I'm at the point where I'm like, get rid of it. Yeah. Do you do like I would use, I would have tried to use invincible as like a weapon to absolutely crush everything that threatens America. Brother, I would have, the second I found out that Nolan had a son, that device that's in his head, that would have been in there like day one. I would have killed. That would have been there on the day of the circumcision.

I would have killed him. Oh, you think he's circumcised? Well, I don't know. I would have killed him. Theoretically. No, he's Asian. He's probably not. Oh, probably not.

I would have killed him. I don't know. I mean, I'm Catholic. So they did it to me. So I don't even really know where it comes from. I'm going to say they ripped it off clean from it. A lot of, uh, they ripped that like a napkin. the handful of um

the handful of uh i don't know about that because because i guess in i don't know culturally what they feel about that's usually uh people are cut so yeah i don't know how to because hmm i guess we got to ask our Asian audience yeah any Asian in the audience do you got your foreskin still cut or and cut let us know yeah right into our weekly newsletter speaking to speaking to Asians let's get back to the switch because we're fucking we've been fine we straight so far yeah i don't know there's a fucking Mario Car game. It's like vaguely open the world. There's a Donkey Kong game. I don't know, man.

I was so, I was so bored the entire because I was waiting for like something weird to be there, you know what I mean? I was waiting for like, oh, Gears Collection. You're waiting for Reggie to come back? No, like, yeah, Reggie is like... Sucking off the fucking, like the console itself? I'm about to bust. Reggie goes back and he's like, these niggas have been wilding.

I got to get back to playing Animal Crossing New Leaf on my Nintendo Switch. Yes. Yes. I can unhingege my jaw like a snake. I just puts a whole stick to his mouth. I can unhingege my jaw and fold it completely backwards, much like Pac-Man upon death.

And he also does the little spiral too. I also spin and vanish. My family thinks it's terrifying and strange, but I think it's just the way I am. Dude, dumbing fucking those would be actually really

fun. Dude, my favorite thing about those is like how cheery the Nintendo the lady is. Yeah. In the Nintendo Direct, regardless of what it is she's talking about. Yeah, it's like, you know this gag on sacred symbols where it's like, um, carry your dying daughter through a horde of the undead in, you know, The Last of Us,

part one coming to Nintendo Switch. Encur the infinite wrath of a mad machine and I have no mouth, but I must scream coming soon to switch. Damn, bars. Incur the wrath of a mad machine. They're always so. cheery about it. It is pretty good. Oscar Schindler's added again.

It's what? How many Jews can you save in Schindler's List 2? Coming to Switch. That sounds dope. What would the secondary title be a Schindler's List 2? It would just be Schindler's List. It would be Shindler's Lists. Yeah, Shindler's List. It's like aliens.

Schindler's lists. Schindler's lists. So the games, the game, the consoles, what, $600 for us, $6.50 for us? Yeah, $599. That's right. Oh, it's $599, right?

I think it would. Let me look it up. Excuse me? Let me fact check. I could be wrong. I think it's $4.99, though. I hope it's $4.99. Because I can't fucking imagine $5.99 is like, I, if that's what I'm, no, I was

already. $4.99 is what I expect. It's still, like, expensive. It's annoying, but I guess that's, well, it's, it's a price that is what we're playing for it as well. I just. Oh, yeah, the fucking screen share. They showed like a screen share feature on like their game

chat and it was like running at like 10 frames a second like in the in the promotional so I guess props to them for not lying I guess because they could have just like they could have easily they could have fake it yeah they don't have to why why would Nintendo lie they don't have to that is a very good point I'm saying they could have

they the fact that people like it behooves them to you dumb idiots are going to buy it regardless this name runs at one frame per second that's insane that's a slide show That's just like

And then people just Oh what do I pre-order? Oh, I can't wait to get the new Pokemon for $89 Great Mario Kart World Coming soon to PowerPoint

Yeah, these floppiness too I don't know God damn it Price Yeah let me see The deluxe edition of Mario Kart For $400 That's it

Why can't I see That's all only four Oh What the fuck? I guess I'll just look up the Nintendo. Oh, but this wallet. Erri! Erries!

God of war coming to the Nintendo Switch. Play as a nigger. That's not really a nigger. The fact that it's difficult to find is hilarious because it shows that they just don't want it to be easily found necessarily. You just Google it. Google ain't fucking reliable no more, man. Google sucks now.

That's chat TVT then. Fuck. Oh yeah I wonder if it'll know Chat Gpti Jit my Let me let me ask Hold on

Hey chat GPT The Nintendo Direct was today And they unveiled the Switch 2 How much is the Switch 2 I forgot Shut up nita Have you heard of Jitler I didn't even fucking

Oh that was voice chat That was stupid Oh sick Yo What's up chat So The The Nintendo director is today, I can't remember how much the Switch 2 costs.

Can you let me know? Please. I'm so scared. I love you. You didn't say I love you. I forgot to say I love you. You don't love me, so no. So it was officially announced the, okay, so four, wait, so the base model is price.

It does know. It's awesome. The base model is priced at $449 and there's a bundle for $499. So. Oh, where's the bundle come with? I don't know, probably come, probably a Mario Kart. The most interesting thing about it to me was like, mouse controls because like this would it doubles as a mouse which is cool I like that that's neat but like

I don't really you know who cares you know um how did it talk about its uh capabilities of like graphic graphic graphic graphic capabilities they can go to 120 frames though and go to 120 frames and handheld I know handheld uh 20 frames and stock dock they can go 60 frames yeah but how crazy you know it's it's you said 120 do Yeah. So if I play on my big ice team, you think I'm going to get $120? Maybe. I mean, look, I don't know.

They said it could do it. I like the word could. It probably took up the entire street. My favorite thing about it is that could in here. So like, I don't know, man. Nothing grabbed me. I wanted some weird news. Like I wanted Marcus Phoenix to show up.

Be like, oh, the gears collection is coming. It's just like, oh, shit, that's dope. I'm going to kill all of you. Oh, then race is going to be on air. Yeah. There's a new Frommsoft game coming to it. exclusively. What,

Firm soft? Yeah, I think so. Really? Yeah, it's called like Dusk Bloods or something. But,

uh, I couldn't care less. Is it a Souls like? Get this. Yeah. Yeah, no, I don't know.

Like, I'm not gonna buy a fucking switch two for a fucking from song game. I could give a fuck about that. Um, really. I don't.

But, I'm in the middle of it. I'm like, probably, the thing is if I buy it, I'm not gonna use it enough. That's the thing. That's why I'm like,

it's a waste of time and money. Yeah, Is all the new shit gonna come out for the OLED switch? Mm-hmm. So what the fuck? Who cares? Well, the thing about it too is that like, they've just got Eldon Ring, right?

You know? It's gonna take them, like, this isn't like modern hardware really. Yeah. You know? So whatever, it's fine. The games are expensive. That's the point where I'm like, this is expensive. Well, Mario Kart was expensive.

But it's like, clearly they must be testing the waters. See how it sells, right? Yeah, for sure. They're definitely being like, well, this fuck, everything? Well, I don't know about them actually because they don't care really. That's true. They could sell you fucking, they could, they could, they could, they could, they could, they could, they could, they could, they could, they could

done it for like a hundred. Yeah, probably. It's a bag of dirt cart 64. It's, it's 64 because it's, uh, it's worth, it's worth, uh, it's worth. the gameplay. Travel at a max speed of crash team racing on easy in the new Mario cart world. Mario cart world. I think the game, it just, I don't know. I, I kind of, I'm in between. I see like the idea of like the operative. I see like the Uprise versions of the games, but I already beat those games. I don't need to get the uprise version of like...

Oh, did you see that some Switch games won't be compatible to? Did you see that? No way, I heard they were all compatible. No, that it says... They said there are three types of Switch to games. Switch two games. Switch two compatible games. And then Switch to Addition games.

So not every... It seems to me like that's a weird thing to... That's weird. Yeah, what is that? You would say up front as a selling point, obviously, that this is backwards compatible. I think they did say that. They did not say that. They specified switch to compatible games.

There's no reason to say that. Some of them that will have some resale value will be the switch to additions. Right, exactly. They're going to double-div. They're going to be like, this can run at pin frames more and still look worse than PS5. But yeah, you know, get on in there. That is delicious. You're not getting it for the, you're not getting it for the.

And Metroid Prime is coming to both of them, so who cares? You're not getting it for the strength of it. Like for me, like I use my, I can play my PS5 on my Steam deck. Right. So for me, I'm like, I don't really need, I don't need Precisely. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't, I'm not, I don't understand when they do stuff like that. It was like a, uh, uh, Ragnarock. Uh, I would have had to buy a PS5 if it was inclusive to PS5. Well, I played it on my fucking PSP world. They did it for, they did that because of the fact that people couldn't grab the PS5. No.

I thought at that point it was out of the weeds. Well, no, what they, I remember. The reason they did that. And this is. is just based on like what I, what I've been able to piece together. Sure.

From, uh, data and stuff is that there are simply so many PS4s in the wilderness, like out there in use still to this day. Dude, people are still, there's a still,

there's still a healthy population playing the fucking last of us multiplayer on PS3. So like people on PS4 are still playing. Yeah. And so they're like, fuck, that's a lot of money we're leaving on the table. Also,

game development's expensive as fuck now. Like we can't really get away with spending hundreds of millions of dollars on a game that isn't going to be available to our widest audience possible. So that's what's happening. Around that time, were people still struggling to get PS5s when it came out? With Ragged Rock? That was maybe like a year or two that that lasted. Okay. Because this is, I guess my only...

We're still getting cross-gen stuff. We're still getting shit that comes to PS-R. for. It's crazy. It is kind of, that's, it's interesting to me that there, well, this was my argument, I guess it's not even, because it's still a good thing. It was good, it was a great thing for me. I only had to buy the game, right? Yeah. But what I'm saying is how many people are out there just like me that absolutely would have, it wouldn't have been a question. It's like, well, I'm not going to not play the game. It, it would have been a lot, but it wouldn't have been. You don't think it would have been $150 million the first second. Like it, like exists.

on PS4, you know what I mean? Like, that's what it is ultimately. It's just like there's so many people there are still active all the time using this thing. Sure. Why or like why? I wonder. If I was a business person, I would have tried to gamble and be like, no, these consumers, if it was exclusive, they would have saved their money to upgrade their console and buy

the new fucking game. It wouldn't have been as many as you got the people have. But just how many hundreds is that it's like, so let's let's extract all the people that had the PS4s and now it's times it by the fucking what $600 they essentially just like the one person paid I feel like

it could I would have been a gambling man I would have gambled on that I think that's why you don't have a corporation and then I would have got a business man and then the board would have kicked me out it would have had you killed I think I would have thought the same thing where it's just like well dude you have a new machine don't you want people to feel like

they have something on the new machine that they you know what I mean don't you want to draw to it don't you want people to feel like they're getting something It makes sense to me. It makes sense. I understand that, but it's also like an old world mentality. Yeah.

Like we're in a different world now where it's just like these consoles are sticking around longer and longer. They like are used in different ways. Yeah. And budgets are fucking crazy. Yeah,

I'm not a... Like, Grand The Thought 06, easily over a billion dollars to make. That's great. Easily. Yeah. I'm not even, it's not even a question.

Which is... I mean, the crazy thing is... And that's gonna be exclusive, actually. Yeah, that is... Which is actually crazy. But the thing that's... Uh,

no to a modern like current gen so like it's not coming to PS4 I don't think oh too bad I couldn't imagine too bad it's it's at this point it's I can't care it's it's fine I feel like it's fine it's the cycle it's been it's been enough years to where I'm tired of poor people succeeding when they're poor like I'm done that's crazy I'm sick of that but yeah I mean the whole devil's advocate thing aside like it's it's it's it's cool that they still do that like come on like yeah it's um it's not I don't think it's necessary uh because I I said at this this point, I feel like as a consumer, I don't, I sure everybody has the right to complain, but I feel, I would feel silly complaining at this late in the, in the, in the, in the cycle.

Right. Where it's like, okay, it's been out for like five years now, um, or just about. And so if they're going to start putting some like big exclusive things on just these, I mean, you can't even call it, you can't even really call it new gen anymore, right? Yeah, it's current. Yeah. So. But, uh, yeah, man, it's just, it's, it's just, it's expensive. Especially to make games now It's fucking ridiculous

That's the big And you used to be able to like Yeah Used to be able to make You used to be able to like make an exclusive Or like make like okay This is next gen only And you get your money back pretty quick

You know You'd make less If you didn't make it for both For sure It's like Tony Hawk You know what I mean Even back then they were doing that Like oh here's Tony Hark

Pro Skator 3 for PS1 and PS2 Yeah that's great You know what I mean They were still doing that A little bit Because they were like Let's get as much as we can But now it's like

You gotta really have it made You gotta be Rockstar or like from soft or something you know to how fast do you think how fast do you think Rockstar will make back their money

I think immediately yeah I think I think I think within that first week they'll have recoup their budget that's well like on micro transactions alone you think on micro transactions within the first week yeah okay

that's crazy within the first week interesting I think they'll make dude they make so much I don't they make up it's ridiculous I just didn't I didn't think like I didn't consider, I guess I'm not a micro-transaction guy, so I'm not considering like, oh, I can't wait to get in the game and buy something immediately. But that's probably the people. I think they will sell.

That's ludicrous to me. Yeah, we're not those people, though. I think that'll sell 15 million in the first week. 15 million. I think that's safe. Yeah. I think it'll save. Maybe even in fucking day one.

I think it's going to be so stupid. I think we generally can't fathom how insane it's going to sell because. no matter where I go on the internet, there's a stupid GTA6 joke that people, it's always on their fucking minds. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm excited. Like, we don't have these moments often. No. You know what I mean? No. Like, it's kind of like half like three finally coming out.

It's just like I don't even, I wouldn't necessarily even care. But like, whoa. You know, that's like a big deal. That would be cool. Like,

yeah, like holy shit. I'm getting that game. Like I, like for me that game is very much still going to live and die based on how good the storytelling is. Oh, for sure. Yeah.

That's how it's for me. A lot of people are just going to play that game and play that game. For sure, yeah. It's here, let's play it. I might even. I'm going to,

I'm going to get it because not only do I like it, Lily loves that game as well too. So I'm going to get it for her. And then it's going to be hilarious seeing what the fuck happens. Because the storytelling is like up to par from what modern rock star is.

That's going to be insane. It'll be cool. Yeah, I just hope that. Do I think it is? I don't know if the story of, I don't know GTA's exactly allows the same kind of storytelling as Red Dead.

It's definitely different. It's character wise. but we'll see. I'm whole, I'm very, I'm actually optimistic. I'm like, I probably,

they've never really tried because it like, it's just, it's, it's because of the, the tones of the games are, it's supposed to be like, right,

like, with, with Red Dead, it's, it has a serious tone to it. Like, the story, you,

it's kind of like, uh, we don't, it's, it's like how the way Scorsese sees films is what I'm saying. There are certain genres that are never respected in a way that, like,

it may be a fucking unanimously everyone loves this shit but it's never going to be like respected as that's a great compelling story if you know what I mean. I feel like that's what's like there's what's going to happen extensively good movie

it's like a lot of people feel about animation you know what I mean or it's like for some reason people like it's like it's an animated movie it doesn't count for like it's just crazy and I'm like that's what I feel like

that's what's going to happen with GTA 6 even if the story is pretty fucking good being like yeah it's like yeah it's going to be like this is a contemporary this is like a modern day third person

and shooter who cares. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't have like cowboy hats. It doesn't have cowboy hats. I mean, I honestly like, dude, like, I don't know. I think about Red Dead One. I don't know what the fuck.

I don't know what the point. There's no like iconic. Oh, there's a woman now. Yeah. Oh. I think I, I think people overstate Red Dead One as being like, because Red Dead One is fucking wacky. Like, it is more grounded than like, you know,

GTA is by a mile. But I think it's more like GTA 4 than anything else. It's like it's grounded and still like, I mean, it's the fuck is you. Like, that snake oil salesman is so stupid. There's some. That's the dumbest character I've ever seen.

I love that guy. Yeah, no, I know. Full of wacky shit. But it's less silly. I don't know if I agree really. Two is very silly.

Well, I mean, you can do silly shit in it. It's, I think the fucking. There's silly characters in it? There's silly characters in it. To the extent that they were in Red Dead One way.

There's a fucking vampire in a back of a building. No, that's an Easter egg. Well, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean,

people you interact with who you do missions for. You know what I mean? Yeah, I can't. There's nothing popping out of my head like, but even when it comes to Red Dead One, like that's like you said, like that, the snake old guy, like I think he's funny. He's good. He's good comedy relief. Yeah.

I mean, they're all like that though. Like a lot of the characters are just like, ooh. Like what's going? I feel like. I wouldn't feel like. I think there's more. Southern Texas is just the dumbest people alive. Probably why it's like very a lot of, you have a lot of stupid interactions.

But it's, you know, this tone is very serious The Pinkertins are fucking, or the agents Who are like, blah, fucking Bill fucking shoots you and shit immediately. Like the tone's all, you know, it's all like, it's, I remember at least the, Because I really, when I, the funny thing I think about it, I've only played Redid Redid Red Dead 2 twice.

Yeah. It's kind of funny when I think about it. That sounds right. That's a lot of place on. Redemption too. I just got the San Deneas again. And I'm like, all right, I'm not. Like you St. Dennis.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's actually, it's finally at the point the game where the game is entirely open me, I can do whatever I want. Uh-huh. And I'm like, I'm just fucking, I'm a monster. I'm killing horses in the street. I'm blowing women's heads off.

Like, I'm just, I'm a god in this world. It's what you do. Do you do? As one should. As one should. As is customary. I, um, real quick, I, uh, I went a little bit forward with the AC Shadows again. Oh, yeah.

And I know we mentioned this briefly on the other episode or the previous one, but I really am convinced that they did something wrong with the way that shit's like the linear because again I'm pretty I'm deeper into the game now not much deeper because I'm still doing way too much side shit trying to upgrade my shit

but I had another I had a Yaske flashback and then you're learning how to become a samurai and then I'm doing these like it almost feels like a tutorial again because I'm fighting with you know just like the sticks like instead of it's not steel, but it feels like I'm like, why am I doing, I'm doing, like, I've done this.

Like I know, it's weird. It feels I'm confused. I feel like this has to. It's so weird. It's weird specifically because it's like, okay, look, you can do flashbacks. Right. Of course. But then don't like teach me how to fight.

Yeah. Or do things in the game. Like show me like a, I don't know, a narrative thing. Yeah. That's important. And then I'm able to do all the stuff that I normally. able to do. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's, it's very weird that they tutorialize so much in those specific story flashbacks when you're gonna, you're gonna come across them like 30 hours, 40 hours,

50 hours in. Right. It's very bizarre. Dude, within that flashback, this is when you finally like become a samurai, right? Like, or like, he's like, all right, you're a samurai. What should we call you? Uh, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, not a spoiler. This is, yeah, like, bullshit. But, but, like, but, like I'm fighting them without any of the stuff that I've obtained in the game and it feels so the flashback stupid and I'm like I am too deep into this game I'm probably like 20 hours deeper something granted again I've been doing a lot of side stuff but I'm like it just feels

impossibly wrong like it almost feels like I'm like this they you they definitely restructured the shit out of it I think I said that in the last episode too like they definitely like edited this somehow why is the question Like You know what it is actually Now that I think about it I think they probably Again this is all budgets

But like I think it's like They made a bunch of stuff And then they realize like We can't start the game this way We should start it here And they find a better starting point And then they were like Oh but we made all that stuff

Like everything that we made Like all those levels That's like millions and millions of dollars We can't wait just Yeah we can't just throw it away It's like you can't It's like fucking rag now Rock with the fucking garden where you're picking

paints and shit. Yeah, where you want to kill yourself? Yeah. Any sane person would have cut that. Any sane human being would have been like, this is long, not interesting. Make this, just take this sequence and gameplay and make it a cutscene or something. Yes. Quibular montage.

But they were like, look at, we spent so much money on this environment. I'm convinced that that's the reason like there's a lot of that stuff in games now. I think you're right. Because it's just like there's too much budget to goes into it. We can't throw it away. it used to be like dude it's so funny when you

when you go there's so much information about things in older games that were completely cut you know like entire modes entire characters entire like rigs weapons systems

they cut sprint and like melee combos from Halo 2 like all that stuff and you could see it you know I defy you to find any information about anything that has been cut

from a game in the last five to ten years. I'm not even kidding. Where is it? I haven't seen a video about it. I haven't seen an essay about it. I haven't seen... I know there's content cut from Baldosgate 3. Like what?

Like a bunch of dialogue content. What do you mean? Like voice recordings? Like whole lines and like admissions. It's like that cut from the game. That's a big ass game too. Yeah. Yeah, there was way more.

I can at least the lines can make some sense to me because I know I know we're supposed to have more of a story than he did. Oh. Because we'll have like more of a more of a more story. Supposed to or. supposed to or did and they couldn't get it working or get it pacing right and then they just and they just cut it away because it's one thing to have things planned it's nothing to make it like dude their entire levels in hale too that are made and then they're just like no we don't got time to figure it out in this day they're like make it a fucking i don't know shoehorn it some

way throw it in there you ever saw you ever saw the uh thing where carlock how she can read minds and she ends up reading your character's mind and realize your character is being played by a person and she's like what the fuck is going on europe god in there. No, I didn't see that. It's like some super meta. Yeah, she's like, I'm like, can you stop, bitch? I'm I feel really uncomfortable. That's funny. Stop talking directly to me. It's making me upset. Yeah, you're breaking the immersion, bitch, stop. I don't want to, I don't want to

marry you anymore if you're fucking charred. Is that a razor headphone? What is that? Can you imagine? Dude, that, um, it's like a psychomantis. I was just thinking of that, yeah. But yeah, dude, as like, one thing, you know, I think artists, we all kind of learn this the hard way is when you find, you finally like kind of level up when you learn how to scrap things,

even things that you've put countless amount of hours into. When you're like, at a certain point, you're like, this is just not working out. And then you just abandon it. Maybe you can come back to it at some point and have it be something, but it's just when I started seeing a lot of bands back in the day, when you would see their B-sides of,

oh, here's, we wrote 20 songs, and then we just chose like 10. And you're like, holy shit, dude, there's literally just as many. songs that a lot of times never see the light of day and you just have to be content with that. We're like... That's all of untitled fucking Kendrick Lamar's untitle album. That's a whole

B-sides in a butterfly. Right. That is in fact better than most people's entire discography's and it's like, this guy cut a B-side better than anything you've made. It's interesting and that's all like, yeah, and same thing. The gaming industry, things work out. We're like, fuck, we spend all this time and effort and money onto this, but sometimes it just doesn't work. And sometimes it feels

unfair. Like, I remember like certain actors, uh, even being a part of like the background acting stuff you're like oh oh they cut out this entire thing I'm not even in the shit anymore like that sucks well I got paid so whatever at least I got fucking paid I guess but like at the end of the day that's just how it is and clearly

it's really killing the game for me shadows it's um I just don't under that the idea of a flashback while like the idea of learning from a flashback when you're already done it is really insane it's just like doing things yeah it goes like it should have been in the beginning

it should have been in the beginning all this stuff and then and then also the only thing I can say to counter but also not is that okay you don't have to do that stuff you could just kind of like do the stuff more in a more linear way but also to me that defeats the purpose of an RPG where like I want to wander and just stumble upon stuff like I'm doing and then I've stumbled upon something the cutscene was cool until they started making me do shit that I didn't want to do and I'm like oh my god how to climb it's like I had a fucking like limited amount of time to play and I wasted all this time first of all finding learning finding things following the knowledge points which dude okay so I finally leveled up my knowledge

which you take you had to find five of those little things to do which was tedious as shit now to get to the level three I got to find 10 of them and I was just like oh my god so essentially what's going to happen is I'm I'm gonna not upgrade all my stuff because it's too tedious to and I couldn't even find a trainer to like cheat I was trying to find a trainer because I just want to unlock my, you know how like say a lot of times it'll be level gated. Reach level this and then it unlocks. If it was that, it would be fine because then I'd just be grinding. Like, oh, grind a level 20 and then it's going to unlock this knowledge points.

No, you have to go out of your way to either find these lost scrolls and then they're hidden in stupid little areas. Oh, one's behind this thing and I'm like, one's on the roof. So you have to use now way. So I got to switch. At least you can switch on the fly. Oh, they put on a game on a fly. I will because I remember being like, fuck, once you beat the first. act, then you can just switch them out, load them out, and you'll be in the exact,

it's actually more convenient than GTA 5 because you'll load out in the same place, which is stupid. I'm supposed to on a pier somewhere. Yeah, you'll be fucking forever. You're like, God damn it, I'm so far away from where I wanted to be. But like, it's cool that I feel like that was a decision they made because, like, people are going to kill us if we don't do that. And so it is, but it is still tedious where I'm like, can you just not play as you

got to get a whole game? Um, you can, I imagine. to further the axe, probably not. But I think that you can probably, it'll probably be like GTA where you further somebody's story as much as you can until you're forced to switch. I just never played it in the off. Like every time I can switch is off.

I get like the, you know, when people say the, the contrast, the, the, the, that bothered them a lot. It is bothersome when you just want to do something on the fly real quick. Like, oh, I want to grab something real fast. I'm like, oh, fuck, I have to like switch now. It's kind of just a little of annoying because you only need to switch for a very specific thing. Yeah, it's like really specific.

Oh, she, he can't climb this? Yeah. So that I'm like, I'm just like, why can't Yoske use a hook? Why can't he grapple? Like, I know he's a big man, but he's strong and muscular. That's how they kind of box themselves into a corner with that one. Yeah, they did. They were like, if the second we give him the hook, it's, you know what I mean?

Yeah. Like, it's just the whole premise goes out. Have you tried to eagle dive with Yoske? That shit is so fucking funny, dude. It is. It's funny like the first time. And then like the second time, it's funny. And the third time, it's amusing.

So far, I've only done it three times and he said something different each time. I wonder how many lines he has. Yeah. And he was just, it kind of struck me as like, this is cute. But like, yeah. It was more the, eagle died with, I think after the first time you're doing it, he's like, hey, I'm not, I'm really not able to do that. I'm a giant man that's going to explode the haystack. It would be kind of funny if they disallowed you to do it after a while.

That would have been interesting. The anime stuff sucks. It's like, I have. have only ran into, what was it? It's barely there. So why is it? Well, you know? I've made that argument for so long.

I'm like, dude, at this point, because I know there's people that like it. Yeah. And I think at this point, I think, I'm gonna be honest. The original, dude, I don't know, the original test of you story got so fucked up the second. Like, they fucked it up entirely within, and I think, in the brotherhood, I think, they ruined it.

They killed him. So basically. Doesn't Desmond die? No, well, that's the end of three. Later, yeah. Spoiler alert for Desmond Miles, everybody's favorite hero. So, no, so like, in Assassin's Creed, too, they basically, like, have this weird plot point moment where, like, Desmond gets mind controlled and kills, like, a friend of it.

And at first, you're like, oh, weird. That didn't seem telegraphed at all. I wonder if they'll pay that off. They don't. And I found out only, like, the last couple. Only in the last, like, week that I find this out because Alana Pierce made a video about it because she was, like, obsessed with the original Assassin's Creed story. Was that, like, they killed her character because she just, she wanted to be paid. royalties. That's right. That's right. I forgot about that. Yeah. So that, uh, so then they just

killed her character. They're like, no, to avoid paying her. Um, and then it completely like it, it just, no, it now it just doesn't make sense. Wait, what do you wait? I'm sorry. She played a character in Assassin's Casasquez. No, Alana. Then what happened? She's our age. That's how I'm confused. She made a video. She made a video about it. Oh. I'm confused. I'm like, it was a real reasonable. I'm like, they killed her character. I'm like, wait, what? They killed. They killed. this character that was like the whole point

was that she was like an undercover assassin working for obsterego or whatever the fuck and then she breaks you out and then because because she wanted money for royalties or whatever

they were like actually she's an undercover Templar Killer killer So she just becomes a temple there's nothing to set that up at all

it also doesn't make sense because why the fuck would you break somebody out of your own like it make it none of it makes sense they just did it for money like literally just for money and then they were like ah fuck it whatever we gotta annualize this

oh shit we can't stick with this sci-fi thing I was so excited about the original Assassin's Creed like trajectory too because I thought it was leading up to like a modern day kind of thing you know what I mean like watchdogs or something but like Assassin's Creed I think that was the plan

and like it just never happened that definitely seemed like it was the plan weren't they in the future though well no they were I mean it was just like a dystopic modern it was like that's the doesn't it's been in the It was like modern day, but it was just like dystopic

kind of. It was like contemporary. Yeah. So it was like 2008 around that time. And then isn't, wasn't Desmond? This is when it had the aliens still, right? The other aliens, not the, um, the idea Not the, not the, the idea was that they had gods or something. It was like, like, it tied into Adam and Eve and all this stuff. Neflem shit, you know?

Yeah. Because initially wasn't it like, didn't the people that put you into animus in the first? They weren't they like a set of aliens themselves? No. No. No, they were just, they were just Templars. They were just, or observe.

video essay of somebody theorizing that or something. I'm confused. I remember hearing that somewhere. And then eventually it's like these actual aliens straight up, like after they get to like black flag and so they're straight up just like alien. Oh, I don't know about I don't know anything post three to be like No, they're just straight back no because

after three they really abandon anything within the story itself they really stopped exploring like deep into the animus like four. They're still doing some stuff like you're first person controlled and then you're still doing a few things

oh good this and you do a little bit of wandering around the office and stuff like that there's little tidbits here and there and that's the last of it really having anything but it was so inconsequential I don't even remember most of it because I just it took such a back seat

it didn't even matter anymore all it did at this point was just immersion breaking at that point it was like it was like guys you either need to do it like it was with Desmond or just don't do it at all yeah and so then who because they do all of Because even when you start off the Nuest One Shadows,

they show all those other stories. How do they connect to each other? Whatever. Well, it's just like, what do you mean? Like, how do the stories connect? Yeah. Well, it's not about, it's not necessarily about them connecting. It's there are, because you know, the idea of the animus is,

the ancestor and pulling, you know, through the DNA, their memories. It could have been different people. They're extracting. Well, so there's people going in the animus that are, and then through their memories, they're extracting data. They're extracting artifacts. They want to find the stuff, right? Right? That's essentially what has been the entire point of, you know, gaining power, this knowledge, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So I thought the point was that like it was, it was one person and like, that was different variations of their family thought history. You thought it was one person? What do you mean? Because I'm still kind of attached to the idea of Desmond, right? So they kept going back in Desmond's. No, the whole upstergo has many people inanimateous. There you go. That's what I thought Desmond was a particular case. Whereas like in your blood, they're able to find all these things. big like, you know, he was kind of, well, he was, he was, he was the, he was the catalyst in that story until he died. And then so then he just get killed on some random bullshit.

No, well, well, I mean, I don't know how random it is, but it was. I mean, it's not random in the sense of the story. It's, it's random for the buildup that they were going for. Yeah. He was ever become assassin himself? No. Well, that's kind of, that's, almost got there and he did it. Yeah.

He almost does and then he dies, which is so crazy because he spent like three, no, five games up until that point. if you count Brotherhood and Revelations. Like learning how to become an assassin. Like he's doing all the parkour stuff. Yeah, like it's a point. I remember, he's retaining.

It's a point I think in the game that it's unusual that he's like retaining abilities outside of, like he has Eagle Vision and shit. Like it's not normal. Yeah. And it's just like, oh, so you're kind of like a special case.

I remember that because I remember like seeing the part of seen the like mission where he dies. He's like doing stuff to get there. And then he dies. And I'm like, oh, yeah. I think he like,

he sacrifices himself for like, humanity or something. Yeah. But then like it turns out it's like, oh, the God was tricking him or something. So it's just like, oh, great. It's always, yeah, it's, it's been like that. Great. Awesome.

It's supposed to be like a whole like, you know, thriller thing, thing, thing. Like it, it was interesting until, like, once Desmond ended, I personally couldn't care less about the animus anymore, upstergo. I just want, like, let's just, I just like, I know that's the point of it is still that baked into it. Kind of like even with Odyssey where they still had a little bit of that, like, um, they did it in a way that. it was, I was fine with it, but ultimately I still don't care. I liked being in ancient Greece doing cool historic shit, then fucking, you know, DLC type stuff where I'm fighting, I'm in the labyrinth. And, you know, there's like mythical creatures and stuff like that. And you interact with some of the gods at some point. And then you meet, then you meet other gods who are just aliens

pretty much. And they're like, here's Thor actually. Here's Anubis. Yeah, I don't know. And it's like, huh? I like that. stuff. I don't mind this. I don't really mind that stuff. To me, it's just like, I was actually genuinely into the whole, like, I think the reason why I sound as pretty successful was because of that weird dual premise that they had originally. Like, it was like really interesting for that time. Yeah. Like the whole like sci-fi, but it's like an ancient history game. It's like, what the fuck is going on here. And it was a cool setup up until like, and then they just kind of like, didn't know what the fuck they were doing. And then they were just like, eh, whatever. And they

completely dropped the ball. And that kind of fucked it up for me. Like I was super into it. That's why I mean, there's like, there's that whole diehard. Desmond sucks. There's a whole. There's a whole, there's a whole, people were waiting for the potential for him not to suck and it never happened. Yeah, it was about to not suck then he died. Yeah. There was a whole, there was a whole community. It was clear that they didn't know what to do, so they killed him off. They didn't know what to do.

I mean, it's so obvious. They're like, we don't know what to do. Straight up. We, we, we, we, they, they fumbled the, the entire premise and then went in a direction where let's just focus on making the game fun instead of, uh, being like, intellectually stimulating. They kept having a hard time finding reasons for Desmond to go into the animus. It's very funny. Because I think in Revelations, I never played it, but I was like looking into it. It's just like, apparently in that game, like you're just kind of in a coma and they just, like, they don't know.

They can't take you anywhere. So they just put you at the animus. As far as I know, I could be wrong. Yeah. But like, Desmond's in a coma a lot. He's taking that. He's damn near. He might, honestly, I would.

He might have not even die. He might have. actually just been dead the whole time. He might have just invented everything post Assassin's Creed 2 in his brain because he's so damaged. He's just sitting comitose in bed? You guys think is the most redeemed character

in the video game? Like a character that goes from being like a shitty character to like oh this guy's character is actually pretty cool. See, that's a question I feel like it needs a lot of deep thought. Yeah.

Because this immediately... I would say Riden probably. I still don't like that nigga, but he definitely, he definitely glows up. The most redeemed... Probably crash. Definitely. Crash.

Yeah. Crash was an evil son of a bitch. Crash never sucked. You don't know the lore of Crash Manicoot? No. He's a shithead.

Actually? Yeah. What do you? I feel like you just can't be... No, he's like chaotic. He has no guy. That's what the masks are. The masks are like

guidance for it because he's such a fucking distressing force of just chaotic nothing. Where there's just like he just acts completely independently of any like good intent.

I feel like he's not a bad guy though. His sister. isn't. So she can talk. But no, it crashes like a bad person. No. Yes. And the whole thing is like that masks are like guiding him to like doing a good thing for once. That's actually, that's the lore of Crash Bandicoor. I thought he just misbehaves, but he's not like hurting people. I made all this up. You piece of shit. That's how I was like crash week. That's not like crash being bad is so insane because he's just like. Yeah, it's kind of like not bothering anybody.

I never said he was bad. I said that he just was. He's chaos. distinctly uncaring. Everyone's chaotic. Every main character and everything's chaotic as the nature of them. No, not necessarily.

Name a non-caotic good guy and I think. The protagonist of the Lex Friedman podcast. The protagonist of this podcast. That's insane. Every main character that I've given it

except for like maybe, I don't know, like Chris Redfield and those kind of things are like actions good guys. Chris Reefield is absolutely chaotic. What do you mean? He punched a fucking boulder.

The boulder. That's a boulder. You said Riden. Riden. right on what about uh what about gray fox you think he has more of a redemption Grey Fox yeah and Metal Gear Solid

I don't remember Fox just die Well no he fucking well he sacrifices himself To fucking give you a chance to be Metal Gear That's true if I'm mistaken yes Because Fox is at the highest rank that's the highest Right it's higher than Snake Yeah Without Grey Fox you would have been fucked

And he got cyborged up and he was about to kill And he was like nah nigga I got you And then he fucking like He blows himself On fucking metal gear and then Metal Gear stomps something. It's crazy. I'm fucking, man, I'm so mad. I'm sorry for all the

the snake eater heads. Like, Metal Gear Solid's the goat for me, dude. And I just, I don't want to wait. We don't even wait fucking how many years to get a new remastered Metal Gear Solid? Oh, the first one? Yeah. Like, Jesus Christ, because oh, we got to wait for fucking two now and hopefully, just

that is genuinely crazy to me. Look, Snake Eater is the best one. I always think is the best one. I think I have my opinions as a person that hates like stuff. when they bake in too much realism into a game. There's a lot of shit. There's a lot of shit going on. Okay.

Especially in 2000 like what fucking five or six. Yeah. And I was like way too young and it was like, look at all this. You got to eat and watch out for the crocodile and you had to tranquilize a gun. It's like, how do I stop this crocodile with a tranquilizer gun? I'm 10. But I love that fucking game. I don't know.

I have nothing but love for that game. It's good. I'm just, I'm obviously. also extremely biased because there's this Metal Gear Solid is just it was probably the first well it was the first

it must have been the first stealth game ever played I can't think of anything else it may be not but I just can't think of anything on S&S right now I mean stealth think

I can't think of anything on SBA or any I can't think of anything it must have been that I'm just gonna go with that it's the first anything that made me of course how old I was

I didn't get most of the stuff yeah I didn't understand that was the first one for me I never I didn't play metal gear until later. Yeah. I play the fuck out of it, but like,

I was just way too stupid to, way too ignorant to understand how pretty complicated. Yeah. It's pretty complicated. The game series is fucking insane. No, I mean just like literally the act of playing it.

For me, like playing Metal Gear Solid One back at that time. Two. Because two, I felt like I was progressing, but not understanding what was happening. I was like, I was on a ride

that I didn't understand the right way. And I was just like, what's the fuck is happening? I played. And I remember when I got the sword. I was like, yeah, I got a sword. And then the way you use the sword in two is so fucking stupid. I was like, why did they even give me this?

What was the point of me getting this? Is it a flak bullets? Badly? I was, dude, I remember playing it with my cousin. And my cousin was like, dude, it was, oh, you got a sword. And finally you can like do cool stuff. And everyone was like, yay. And then you were like,

it's a PS2 game. Yeah, it's all right. That's a PS2. That's a PS2 game? Yeah. What is your perception of it? I mean, I played it. That's it.

All I knows I was there. Do you not have a delineation of like generations in your mind? At that time, not really. You don't remember like, because I wasn't turning it on. The, the absolute jumping quality from like looking at snake versus. Dude, you one of those crazy? It was crazy. In my brain right now, they look almost as.

They look probably the same than me. That's impossible to believe. I played them when I was, this is. also nearly two decades ago. Listen, you're not that much younger than me. Let me put it. It's crazy to me that you would not see that.

Because that jump was the biggest jump ever. I can at least see, no, in between those games. Graphically? No, I just mean graphically between games or between generations.

Like, it's ridiculous. I think PS2 to PS3 Xbox era. I think that was also, but like no. Really? I think that was. No, PS1 to PS2 was great.

Because they looked like, Humans. PS2 to 360 and that, that was big. Because it looked like humans. PS2 to 360 was bigger than the generations we've seen from PS3 to PS4 and PS4 to PS5 for sure. Yeah. But like PS1 to PS2 was outrageous. Why it was so outrageous because the faces were just, they were barely just outlines.

I don't think didn't have a face. He had like angles. No, bro, Spider-Man. I remember the Spider-Man game, like, in his hands were like boxes. Yeah. You know? And like, he, come on. don't show me fucking

they're not showing they're showing me everything except for what I'm asking for Oh the original? Yeah they're showing me like Even like oh MGS 1 Sneke MGS 1st 8th I'm doing

I want you well I can show you I was trying to show them side by side Oh yeah Well but here's here's MGS 1 Like where he's just A blurry I remember that of course His eyes were ideas of eyes

Bro that's even like I don't even That's twin snakes I think I don't even think that that's You think that's Twin Snakes? I played Metal Gear Solid one kind of recently. I mean, you might be right. Let me see if I can find. You might be right.

It is. That is the hilarious how you love. Yeah. Twin Snakes. Which upsets me that I can't own that on anything else. I know. It might be on the Switch's fucking new thing where it's like, he's the fucking go.

If they did that. Oh, you're right. That is Twin Snakes. You're right. That's, that's what. Yeah. That is outrageous. That's what I see it as.

No, no, I can see Ryden's face. And a stupid body arm. And then look at this. Like, that is, like, going from that to this is crazy. Going to a not face to distinct features. Yeah, PS2 to PS3 was more like, okay, so there's more definition here. Yeah. But like, straight up, like on PS1 characters just didn't have faces.

That's great. Or just didn't have a mouth. Yeah. You know, I remember their mouths wouldn't move. You know, they would, they would talk to you and the camera would cut to them so that you would know that they're talking. Yeah. It's, uh, yeah, man. That's great, man.

But Fight Night, that was something. Fight Night 2005. Yeah, I just like, I remember being blown away by that. Not like, um, use. There's not much to animate. So you can use all of the, you can pour your resources into the characters. Exactly. Yeah, like, you're not going to have like an open world with like weather effects and shit.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, hey, make this guy look like a guy. Yeah. Yeah. That's always cool. That's why I always, when I was a kid, I'm like, God, why do I fucking, like, fighting games look so much better? And it's like, well, yeah, no shit.

Yeah. In retrospect, it's very obvious why. Like, you think about, like, even just like, even comparing things like, what is it? Fucking, Grant of the Auto, like, Vice City and stuff to other games on the PS2. It was just like, why does this look like shit? And you're like, oh, because there's a lot of it. Notoriously, I remember playing San Andreas and I'm like, this. This game looks fucking awful.

I love that game so much. I could go so like endless. Oh, I'm going up this mountain. That mountain was more data than like probably most games that I fucking play. Yeah. I still love the fucking the porch where you used to wiggle the car big. You just wiggle the car wide. That is so crazy.

I wonder if those are good. I think they're finished now. They better be. Yeah, they did have that, uh, that surprise fucking patch. Yeah. That was cool. I want them to do that. Still not enough for me to buy it, though.

They finally upgraded and it's actually works now. I played it like a week ago. Power 5 2 was fucked. Oh, right, you're right. I forgot about that. I played it recently. It's actually really fun. It's still as it was before.

Yeah. I love throwing bombs and rooms with fucking droids in it. Yeah. Stupid-ass fucking droids. How much was when they dropped that? I don't remember. Like 40 maybe. 40?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. What was the whole title of it, the Janthe Vado? Oh, I don't know. It was like a long stupid title, wasn't it? No, I don't think so.

I think it was the GTA trilogy definitive edition or something? I thought it was longer than that, but yeah. It might have been something. I thought it was something. I just remember it sounding really stupid, but. Look it up. I really don't remember. Grandifoto,

five titties. Anyway, we're going to go read, uh, fucking questions from our patrons over at Patreon. com slash a Star Tank now. Remember, you can go over there,

five dollars. Oh, yeah. Oh, I see. It's, you're right. It's just, it just sounds long windy because it's Grand The Fadoo, the trilogy,

the definitive edition. Oh, yeah. The trilogy is kind of weird. Yeah. I thought it was, I thought it was GTA trilogy. There's two the The trilogy, the definitive vision.

Like, all right. That is actually crazy. But pop on over to patreon.com slash is Narcang. Ask us a question. Fucking Folgers, the best part of being gay is a long dick in your ass, rod in.

The best part of fucking butt. Didn't even try. Yeah. Those are the best ones. Was penis in your butt? Anyway, the best part of fucking butt is penis in your butt. So dumb.

Is penis in his butt? So terrible. He says, Hey guys, just got done watching the, the Nintendo Direct. No,

oh, this, I didn't even, that was just recently. This just happened. Yeah, yeah, there are,

uh, so that, wait, what is it saying? And saw what they are doing with Metroid Prime 4 giving Sammas psychic powers for some fucking reason.

Uh, what powers would you give your favorite protagonist that they never, have ever showed signs, any signs of having? Like giving MasterCheaf, flash speed force for no fucking reason.

That's so sick of, I like that idea. I would give, uh, I want to give Crash Bandicoot telekinesis. Yeah? Yeah. I feel like that's way more dangerous than you think.

No, I think it's exactly as dangerous as I think it's. I know. In fact, it's more dangerous. I want him when he's spinning to do it with his mind as well and everything's around him spins.

He's like a little tornado. I would give, I would give, it's like giving Kratos ability to fly for some reason. I mean, he's damn near can. I think he literally can in a few of the old game. I mean,

he's so strong. He can't. One and two, he does. He does still. Icarus's wing so he can glide. But the funny thing is he's so strong he can be like the Hulk.

He could just jump fucking cities if he wanted to, but he just doesn't. You know what I mean? Like he just doesn't do that. Not anymore. It's bad on his hamstrings. Yeah. Seeing him flip the he flipped the sky and I was like, what the fuck? That moment is such an insane moment because the only person, Atreus has the same reaction

you do when it happens. Where he's like, one sec, boy, I can do it. And he's like, dad, that's like flipping the sky. Like, what do you? No, he just like, forces things with his strength. And he was like, did you just do that? Yeah, yeah. Like, he's the only person.

Like, he has the proper reaction. Because other gods would be like, good job. He was like, I'm always, I always, I always, uh, the, the craziest moment of that was when in two, in the opening sequence of the game, the, the, the colossus that gets zapped by Zeus to come and kill you. it tries to step on you like it busts through the building and then he tosses it

and I'm like this guy is so impossible how many tons is this thing and he tosses it I'm like what do you even do with that he's like at least as strong as like an aunt yeah like at the yeah

as least as strong as a human aunt it's insane to think of how insane those characters are because in the new one Freya almost kills that nigga like she in the very beginning of the game he didn't know who that was I think he's not trying.

I think he's weaker now for sure. I think definitely. A little bit weaker. He is definitely weaker. But also. Still imposterous. I think it is, I think it is, I guess I shouldn't say obvious. But it seems obvious to me that if he had a vendetta against Freya, you would have killed

the shit out of her. Yeah. But like, she's incredibly powerful to where he still couldn't really defend her. He couldn't offend her off while. He still gets stat. Do you ever, um, she was beating a fuck out of him in the beginning of the second one? Did you ever do different sequences just to see how. she kills you. No. Yeah, I did that. Like, so the second play-through, like, when the opening

sequence, which you keep trying to kill you, I kept at certain points just not doing like the mini games or the QT things just to see what happens. And she'll like stab the shit out of you. She'll fucking put your head and like, you'll go tumbling off the fucking thing. It's so funny. It's so fucking funny. I love that. I love that. I love that. Don't leave me alone here. Yeah. That's my favorite point. That is the, that is a kid. That is what a kid would say. Don't leave me alone here. And you're like, my favorite thing about that is. It's like imagining like that's where the story does end. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, that's it. There's all this set up and thematic. No. No. He got stabbed in a car and died. That's it. It's like a D&D campaign where a character just dies randomly. Like this guy just needs to be the character and say the world. And then someone stabs him while he's on a loo.

It's like walks in. He's on a fortified. Somebody jugs him three times in the gut and it leaves it then. It's like, oh. There's rumors of a new God of War this year actually. Oh, yeah. There's going to be a smaller side game. Like a Greek side thing.

saying that there might be... Like a Miles Morales type thing, I guess. Yeah, which... I'll be honest, more of that, please. Sure. Personally, you don't want... You don't want something like that? I want more...

I kind of just want to do... You know what I mean? Like, a new set of... The interstition... I'm kind of tired of God of War, honestly, like, in this... Like, it would be cool. I was hoping for...

If there was a God of War thing this year, it was going to be the trilogy. Like, you know... Yeah, they were going to actually do that, yeah. Yeah, but instead it's like, here's a new one in Greece or something. And like, a side thing here is. I wonder what it looks like now.

It was like a utopia. Well, there's like DLC in the new one that like brings you to. Yeah, the Valhalla. You can get a little bit of a, yeah. It even brings you back to one specific scene where you sacrifice this one soldier. Yeah. For no good reason. And then like it turns into who again?

You're some. Diana Ross. Oh no, it turns into it ends up being, um, um, head dude, Mimir. I know. And you're like, oh shit, Mimir, sorry. No, you put it. It was Apollo. You put Apollo in the thing.

put Apollo which you have no problem and they turn it into Mimir. Yeah. And it's like, you're like, oh shit, my bad, nigga. Oh, I didn't mean to put you in this box of death. And he's like, brother, what are you? Brother, brother. Oh, fuck me.

Oh, my. What are you doing to me, brother? What are you doing to me? This is, I love, I love you, me. It's so fucking funny. Free. E. Cretos. What are you doing, brother?

For some reason, I'm very Irish. I don't know why. Why are you? I'm so sad that you not have me cook. Because now Cig. Cig. Cig. Cig. Yes. I forgot her name.

Whatever. Sigrind. Queen bitch cannot suck me coke anymore. He was, he was, dude, she wasn't violent with that cock. You see all that blood

in her fucking on her mask? That's crazy. He was, he was piping that tall being down. That is crazy. That man was giving her

pipe. Fucking skinny ass from here because you could see like his body on the tree. He's a little sater. And he was just, he was fucking. He was a sater.

So of course he'd fucking he had to fucking hog on him. Oh, sayer like, like sater moon. What the, You want to know something? What's that?

As you were thinking? For some reason. I was thinking Sater Moon. Why? What's wrong with you guys? Like, I don't know. I don't know what I thought. I don't know.

You guys are interesting. Can we answer that question or we? No. I want to give, I want to give Spider-Man the ability to breathe underwater. Oh, so Miles Morales in two years? Oh, yeah.

They're just collecting powers like they're fucking collectibles. He's such an overpowery character. I love it. I saw that shit coming a mile away, man. That's so crazy. Yeah. That's so great.

The second he was like making swords and shit. Yeah, of course. Out of electric. What? I think he's the people just like that. He's electrocanesis. He's limitless, man. He's going to be limitless.

He doesn't have it. He doesn't have it. He's been had it. He's because you can exude. You don't have like vomit kinesis just because you can throw vomit. No, that'd be cool. If you can. That would be cool.

He's been able to for the whole time, touch people and electrocute them. That is like the. pathway. It's like, oh, well. Hey, I've damn near done that myself. Why can Electro do that? Electro? He can do that. Of course he can do that. What? Electro? No, why does he not do shit like that? Because he's a fucking retard.

That is literally why. Electro is so, we talked about this on one episode. Electro is so wildly fucking dangerous, but he's special needs. So he doesn't know he's dangerous. That's wild. Can I not give somebody powers, but give them like, I like the idea of like Arthur Morgan or something like a regular person, grounded character having like a symbiote or having like a guyver armor something. Symbiote Micah. Could you imagine?

No. Carnage? Oh my God. That is. That's so stupid. That is hilariously stupid. That is too much, man. That's he's like everyone is going to die.

I want to see a little Jack with a symbiote. It just Like a train passes by You know And then oh It's going crazy It's too loud It's just to see if we get tortured

It's just Jack It's a kid Now's our chance Boy John do it No John do it

You have to Get that symbiote Off of him I'm sorry Jackie That accent Don't do it No, Joe, I love my son.

We's not your son no more. Damn it, John. We is venom. We is venom. We is venom. Oh. Oh, little Jack. Little Jack with his little symbio.

You have to do it, son. Arthur. You've got to pull that boy out of that symbiote. John, you gotta put you the fucking boot on his throat and blow that symbiote's brain town. Abigail will kill me. I can't do it. We always find ourselves here, John.

So is you and me, the little boy with a symbiote. How do we do this all the time? Oh my God, Jack with a symbiote is crazy. The idea that it's a recurring fucking event. Jack is only seven years old and he's had to symbiote five times and it ended up in his exact predicament over and over again.

Oh, fuck, it's so funny. Like he's got like a sickness but it only works with him. It only works with him. It seeks him out. I don't know if I can do it, Arthur. Well, well, it would mean a lot to me. I'll do it for you.

I love you. It's all blew Jack's brains out. It would mean a great deal to me. That's what he says at the end is by the line now? I've got a plan, John. I got a plan, John. And he, and he puts his hands up, and he's been Wolverine the whole time.

And now his little knives come out, I got a plan, John. And he just dices Jack up. He's laughing exactly like that. Or just finish. Clean it up, Arthur. It's a good thing I'm like this and not like my cousin, penis reen. Arthur, finish it. Burn him down with your human torch powers.

Penis reenance. All right. In the Pinkertons. Penis reed in the Pinkertons. It's a dope name. Go to the next question. It's so trash. Penis reed of the Pinkertons.

I got to write that down. Oh my God. No, you don't. What? You know what's crazy about that? You're going to read that. You're going to put that away. You're going to read that tomorrow.

You're like, this sucks. How many times it's happened to me? When I read that stuff, it's like, that's funny. And then I read it the next morning. I'm like, the fuck am I talking about. It looks so dumb, too. Penis reed. That is.

Oh, fucking, what is peanut? Oh, God. Petus read is so stupid. All right, so Josie and the Bussycats, he says, hey, there are three gay uncles. I'm going to rewatch all the podcast episodes and I want to know if you wanted a super cut slash compilation of something specific. Also, have you ever noticed Sweenstructures a joke the same way Trump describes things?

Do you imagine this happening? That describes thing happening. That is, yeah, I guess. That's cool. I can get guess. Yeah, you guys are kindred spirits. Maybe. Yeah.

I don't know why you're not present right now. Maybe we'll be afterwards. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine immigrants coming to the border? Look at that. Immigrants all over the border. It is kind of similar. I know that we have a, you know, figures of speech.

I don't want a third term. I want my boy, my boy, Kingston. I'm going to introduce you to an amazing man. Kingston's dad. Take the floor. Oh, hello. Everybody. It's weak.

He looks like a hunter. He looks like the hunter from Jumanji, and he walks in, big and black. He looks like, he looks like the hunter from Jumangi and like Pierce's dad from community. Do you remember him? Yeah, dude. Ever since you reminded me about him, I've been thinking about him every other day. That's a guy's crazy. Dude, I just, I just think about the, the Lego hair.

Extreme racism of having ivory hair is so fucking funny. It is really iconic. Like, like, like real racists could never even aspire to be. that level. Like, I have an ivory wig. Pure of heart. Whoever thought of that brilliant, brilliant, dude. That's what he says? Yeah, that's

some brow you've got. Scandinavian or something like that. It's like, what a good character. I'm kind of sad that like Pierce himself like, or Chase. Chase is such a fucking cunt. Yeah. I would have loved more of that. Yeah. He was so funny. That sucks, man. He was, yeah. He was

that's so unfortunate. It is unfortunate. I mean, how you do not tell? Like it was like he's he's in plain sight, you know He's doing it in plain sight Well, sometimes, look, sometimes yes But sometimes they're just a really good actor Right It's like it's like John Voight were

So John, one of my favorite movies I've talked about us before Varsity Blues It's one of those old teen movies that it's actually good in my opinion Is that the one with the blue football team? Well, I think the colors are blue actually No, no, no like they're blue like Blue Man Group It's adjacent yeah It's based on the true story

the Blue Man Group playing football in Texas. Right, right. You ever tell you to have their vinals? It hurts. Oh my God. John Voit's racist. Okay. Yeah, he is.

Go for it. He is racist. He's a fucking racist. He's a massive Trump supporter, but like he played a racist in that movie. That's so funny. He plays it so well and I'm like, oh. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. That makes perfect sense. It's like when Bill and I plays a science guy. You know, he fooled us Is that his last name? Yeah Nye William Nye

So Nye stands for Nigel With the Y, stupid So Bill Nigel The science guy The science guy George

Such a fucking bastard Bill Nijil Wasted my time I cannot believe I listen to you Say that I hate you This is real

This is real This is real This is real Is real Is real Is real This motherfucker I was like

Bill Nah Nigel And I started drawing a line I was like This is still You're stupid. You don't know Bill Nigel the science guigel?

You're a fucking moron. You guys are bastards. The both of you, I'm playing on you guys like this. That's so dumb. Bill Nigel, the science guyjil. That's too long. You got to trim it.

You got to trim it a little bit. William Beidle and William Nigel. I will not compromise my name. Fuck you name. All right. I'll change. Yeah. And then he goes, all right.

I'll change nigh. So he's just Bill Nye the science guide. His name is William Nigel, the science guide william Nigel, the science guideo. William Nigel, the science guide, and they're like, fuck, this sucks. The producers are like, this fucking sucks. We don't have, we don't have the money to print all this. They already wrote the, they wrote, so they packaged, they packaged, like, you know, they brought it to them. Like, hey, look, check it, we got this show.

Laminated. Bill Nye, the science guy. Look, we got a fucking cool-ass theme song that fucking, John Williams. John Williams fucking did it. You know, this is great. John Williams doing the Bill Nye theme is crazy. And then he's like, I fucking hate it. My name is William Nigel, the science guy, Joel.

What the fuck is Bill Nye, the science guy? What did you fucking understand when I met with you in March? He gets real. It's like real. He's so fucking bad. He gets real and he starts sciencing. You printed all this shit. I want triple my fucking salary.

Bill, I'm sorry. that we just thought that it fit better you know like we want the kids to like catch on. The people over at Fox didn't make this fucking mistake and they're offering me twice as well why should I stay?

Listen I think I think just listen to the song listen to the song please hear the song Bill Nye the science guy He starts sounding his head he's like no here's the Chinese one first Zia Zizor Jin Zhao

beer beer beer beer that's how it sounds he is just doing it accurate I know but it's just like why would he hear that first I don't know he was like Bill we're gonna show you the Chinese version What the fuck you mean?

It's like it cuts It cuts to a sitcom basically And it's like a sitcom of like two executives Yeah And it cuts to them it's like Oh my God I picked up the wrong tape Oh no And now it's their story

Dude, I love that Bill's mad And they have to like calm him down They're like oh we're confident We'll convince him by showing him The theme song He'll get it And yeah it's slaps

They pick the Chinese one up on accident It works It still works He's like Bill's like Oh you know what I have no idea what the fuck they're saying That sounds pretty great It's because he doesn't understand

They're not saying William Nigel The Science Geigel So he's like Oh that's I mean I don't know what language that is But that sounds really dope I want anything to do with anything that is that.

Look, that sounds amazing. I can't wait to hear my name, William Nigel the Science Guide will say, you know, in English. In Cantonese. It's going to be great. And they're like, yeah, yeah, definitely. Here, sinus. Sign this real fast and then we'll, yeah. Yeah, and then they gave him, and then that night they snuck into his room and gave him a pill that made him never hear music again.

I cannot believe that you talk about me, dearly. That is the most direct. I've never seen. You made a plot device in a plot device. It's so he can't know that they're not saying the right thing. There are specific vibrations and frequencies that are blocked from him as soon as it sounds like music. So if someone starts humming, you can't hear it. You can be talking to me like, ah, and he's just like.

That's why they cut the karaoke bits from the end of his show that they used to have. Did you just stop talking about your mouth's open? I don't understand what you just did. What's going on? I'm so confused. I feel that fuels my inquisive mind. I feel so sad. I can't feel rhythm or breathing.

that makes you not your music. Can we go to our next question? Oh, by the way, what was the question? Go to the next one. No, we were answering. Was that the same question or I don't remember? Oh, a compilation. Yeah, I don't know, man.

No, absolutely. Look, I would say, great answer. No, some of the, Sweetie's various laughs, I think. I want, like, and I specifically don't want two of the same laugh next to each other. I want all of the different ones intercut. I don't want two of the same one in a row, is what I'm saying. There's going to be two. If there's, if there's insane for the.

if there's only two. If there's any jokes that you feel like are particularly hilarious, definitely cut those out too because I would like to put more stuff out there. And I can't remember 99% of what we did.

Yeah. The most recent thing in my mind is the most recent thing for me that I can remember. It's really only because it's the thumbnail is fucking Bernie Sanders with the salmon on his feet. And that's really the only thing.

But even that, I barely remember. Yeah. I'm really in love with the idea of Jack and the symbiote like screaming off him and he's just like I mean that's great I would love He's so small So make a combination of Yeah best bits

So sweeties laughs Any any jokes that we have that you think You think you're pretty good I think we've got a little bit of a run lately Yeah the Bernie Sam I'm actually really upset because I specifically Clipped that part of the podcast And then just being on autopilot

What I normally do after I'm done editing I just exit out of everything I don't save it because I'm done. Like it's like, oh, it's, it's been rendered. It's good.

I don't need this anymore. And then, uh, I forgot that I, clipped, you know, I was supposed to render those clips and I exit out. Everything was like,

yeah, immediately just abandoned. I was like, I'm not going back and doing this. I had it pinpointed. Uh, yeah, so.

It'll be a clip at some point. Yeah, somebody, some will do it. Dush bag or somebody. Dushbag or somebody. But it's also, it was like,

I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I needed to make it flow well for like to be like a social media clip. I needed to do some extra work to it. Yeah, you got to cut out like silences or like interruptions that don't have anything to do.

It's kind of weird. So it's a lot of editing. Right. But that was what I did with the fucking solid snake under the fucking sneaking into what is it, some woke person's house. Yeah. That still gets a little bit of traffic. Yeah.

And I imagine, this is what I'm assuming. Somebody, some racist with, of course, a Christian, you know, crucifix in their profiles, they always have, they're always the worst fucking people. Yeah, people get angry at that one specifically. They're really mad at that. I'm assuming they were- What the fucking. When we were pretending to be like, ew, woke people.

Yeah. Solid snakes like a maga, you know, like is one of the maggas. Solid maga. Yeah. Oh, he's woke. Oh, my God. He's woke from what? Magas snake.

Mega snake. You know, it was stupid. It was a funny. It was a funny bit. Yeah, we can't redo it. It had a, it has a lot of views on it actually. And every once in a while somebody really offended Says something

He didn't say anything on this post Particularly this guy But he on the latest thing The flabber thing This guy just showed Because like I think I saw what you're talking about You said he sound

Like this seems like a little racist And then I replied with There is an element of blackface to it You know just saying a dumb bullshit Yeah, we're riffing Yeah And then he quotes that And then he says

Oh like God like blacks are so low you. I was like, what the fuck? Yeah, I did see that. I went on to his profile and it had a cross. The cross. There's a crucifix, of course. Of course. And I was like, I just, I replied to him. Your God would love your prejudice, man. I said something I was like, yeah, Jesus would be

like really proud or so like I said something like that. Yeah. What's that old thing? Is no hate like Christian love, remember? Yeah. That really is so crazy. I saw that. I was like, what? We're so clearly joking. There's nothing blackface about it. It's just like vaguely tangential to the idea of it. Exactly. I was like, it's just

heavy makeup. Like, brother, what's wrong? Like, why are you so angry that you felt compelled to do that? Like, this, this joke, this retarded podcast that's clearly not take, that's talking about a cartoon, talking about a fake ghost Elvis thing. Imagine getting, imagine getting twisted over flabber. Like flabber. Like, is it, was he, was, am I misunderstanding him and he's just a massive Beatleborx fan?

He's really upset. Yeah, he's a flabhead. He's a, he's a flabist. He's a flablet. He's a flabbit. He's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a Flabbit. Flavid is crazy.

That's wild. If they're... If you guys kids, are they flablets? The little flablets? The little flablets. Daddy, daddy. Daddy, daddy. Daddy, flabby.

Flaab me, daddy, flabby. Ew. It's one of his two laughs. I love it. That's a third one. He's not devious, dude. Kill everyone Kill them all

All right Oh man That was a good one You think there's I felt like that's all Art the clown laughs Art the clown Yeah from

Terrifier Yeah Terrifier I think Art the clown laughs Like Oh Yeah Wait so

So here's So someone So someone did write in Shore Mcloven Riden Yeah It says

I found that Paintball Video Derek Was talking about Oh Do you remember What this is Yeah

Yeah Because there was A guy That He like shot some dude with the whole they were waiting and he shot some dude and like the guy's like oh and everyone's like what the fuck and he's like what it's this funny right so he said it's not a it's not a paintball gun it's a fully automatic airsoft gun oh it's an airsoft yeah and so the video is called like if he say he says uh you can search he burned my patch on youtube he burned my patch

yeah presumably that's if that's the same thing you're talking about it maybe let's see it probably is yeah it probably is airsoft that's probably why it the guy made such a why it seemed to hurt more than like a paintball. Payball's from way more Airsofts, man. I don't agree. Dude, high-powered airsoft guns are

insane. I've been hit with both. I don't think you've been hit by a high-powered airsofts. I've never hit with like a BB gun. No, they have like,

dude, they'll, they're more to, like the one, when people started, do Airsoft got, Airsoft got, so stupid.

Check this out. Airsoft got so stupid that the gun started costing more than real guns. And I was like, you guys are gay. Just buy real guns at this point. No,

I remember, like, there was a guy that was like, into it. He's like, oh, I spent $700 on this thing, gas and electric powered. And I'm like, just buy a fucking gun, asshole. What's wrong with you?

Well, you can't shoot your friends with it. A real gun. But it's like, you're, dude, the guns that they're buying are already breaking the skin. That's why they're all patted up. And I'm like, bro, just stop. I mean, it is different than being shot. I understand what you're saying. Of course it is. But they're trying to get so close to doing it. Then I'm like, why do you, why do you want to shoot someone

so bad? Yeah, paintball only hurts in like, if you get like a bone or something. I've been, I've been hit with Airsoft guns before plenty of times and paintball guns. I probably pinball guns always hurt more because they would welt me. I mean, maybe I was using the most high pressure because my friend bought a fucking. I don't think they were using the retarded like hundreds of dollars. Like a $400 like P91.

And I remember he shot my friend so bad that it looked like he was that he had chicken pots. Like he laced him up. He took his clothes shirt off and he was just like bellets and I was like, dude, you're bleeding. And I got with a paintball. I've always wanted to. He's really stupid. I really always wanted to shoot somebody in a ball with a paintball. and see if they'll blow one of their testicles.

I mean, it'll probably rupture one. But I imagine that much, not much force would rupture somebody's. Yeah, so the guy just hanging it is his ball and it's... The idea of having your balls ruptured, oh, it fucking hurts just thinking about it. What is it called again? I got completely distracted.

Oh, he burned my patch, I think. Um, yeah, he burned my patch. Wow. Yeah, that fucking pops up right away. Yeah, that's it. So there's the entire video. Yeah, so there's just the clip that I've only seen the, the he burned my patch

I wonder if it's time stamped in the comments Um timestamped in the comments It might be time stamped If it's that crazy of a clip Oh well let me see Hold on

That sounds fucking crazy He fell down That is an iconic They should all shoot him Dude what the heck man And then the guys goes Do you hear what? What?

So that's the part I never saw where he said He'd burn my patch He goes like, he goes, what? I don't know what that means. I don't know if that's lingo or if it's literal. Or if it's literal, like his patch got burned or something. They should all be shooting him.

Like, I'm going to shoot you now. That'd be crazy. Well, that's what I just execute this. Look, if those people were assholes, they would have shot him. But you can tell how they're so like normal. These guys are like Mormons or something because they're going, what the heck? Twice I heard from two different people. What the heck?

Yeah, that's definitely in Utah. My guy. Yes. Who the fuck says heck? Some random atheists in you. went around and they shot Mormons with the fucking... He said... What are you going to do about it?

Not cursing me? He burned my atheist patch after my patch to kill all Mormons. What are you going to do? Soak about it? Soak about it. I don't know if that's real. Is that a real? I have Mormon friends.

It is real. And it is absolutely as real as Israel the place is. Okay. Captain Jelke. I'm with you, brother. Captain Joke Merica wrote in. Captain Junkerica, guys. Captain Junkerica is riding in.

He's riding in. Question for Sweden and Derek. Is he a soaker? No. Question for Sweden and Derek. Who is your favorite comic book writer? And because I don't want to Chris to feel left out, I really don't care. What is your favorite Spider-Man design slash suit?

I also don't care. It's fine. I'm not going to make such a great parent where your kids's like, Dad, what about is? I don't care. I don't care. Yeah, my audience is my son. No, your attentive ability.

I don't have, like, I don't, like, I don't have it. I don't have anything to connect. I'm not connecting with another person over this. You know what I mean? They ask the question. I don't even really know what the answer would be. Like, I, I feel like every Spider-Man costume is pretty good. Like, I don't really have-

You don't have one you prefer the most? I like the original black suit, I guess. I like, I like the, I like the- Then that's it. I like the Spider-Man 2-Ramey suit. I like fucking, uh, uh, Scarlet Spider. but like those are obvious answers you know

well they're having enough to give it's not even that big give but it's like you can at least say that I really don't care I like armored Spider-Man Oh yeah the spider armory The old one the old on the diamond one like this The silver one is pretty cool Yeah I remember that was my I remember that was my favorite In the PS1 game

Because it looked more damage Well because I just felt like it was It was the one suit that was like textured really well You could see like it was it did that thing where like They painted on the shadows and the textures Because you obviously couldn't have real time shadows back then. I see.

But like, so it just looked like, oh, it looks pretty good for PS1. Yeah, that was cool. Especially the,

fuck, I don't even remember which Marvel versus it was. Maybe Marvel Super Heroes versus Street Fighter maybe. You had just hit like select or something.

There was just like, for certain people you had to like hold like star to select on and then they'd get their secret character. There was like Mecca Zangif. I remember Mecca Zengif. And then there's a,

uh, uh, shit, no, a evil, evil of succors. evil Sakura armored Spider-Man

I love Dominican Sakuya Sakhaia because he just turned dark-skinned for some reason it's like why are you dark-skinned

Evil made you dark skin is crazy I love it There's always a mecca something you know dude mechazak if it's so funny because he's like yeah he just has so much

fucking shield like he has like a like a armor and he's I think that was pretty much I think he's still more damage but they had a it was it was

ain't no meca Godzilla I tell you They don't like all those Marvelverse they didn't do that anymore after that It pissed me off We have all these secret characters And then they just stopped doing that We should have more mecha things now You know what I mean

Like nothing has a mecca thing anymore I think Like where's mecha Stephen universe Where is we do have It's probably in Japan now let's be honest Mecca's the universe is crazy We need to go check Japan because they still have I think they still have meca everything

We should ask for Becca sugars Next time we're somewhere tend to be like, hey, why didn't you ever make Mecca Stephen Universe? Yeah, what's wrong with you? Yeah, what's wrong with you? What's your, like, why not? You made him gay, but you didn't give him mecca for? What is your fucking problem?

Where's Mecca? Where's Mecca Jerry Springer? Mecca Jerry. I love that idea. I think it's great. Hold on, I got to type that in real quick. She doesn't know, she doesn't know that he's the father, but watch them fight. Give me a second.

I have to type in Mecca Jerry Springer. Watch this. Don't continue. I feel like that's real. I'm accidentally Watch this slut fight Another one You are not the father

That's Mecamori That's Mecamori Mecca Mori Povic Jerry Jerry Jerry He's changing his own name for some reason It's just giving me like Transformers

I don't understand I mean I don't yeah It's dumped by a robot What the fuck Anyway favorite comic writer I put that in my fucking Back pocket

My favorite Conner is easy That's John of the Hickman Easy tap top of the line Beph number one best Did he make Hancock? No No

No he's the one that wrote The uh Hancock I was like wait what He wrote 2015 Secret Wars Oh okay He's my favorite Other than other than that

Super cool Super cool secret Yeah definitely Vince Gilligan Favorite comic crazy Yeah Obviously Stan Lee Yeah Jizz Lee is pretty good

Is that his son Yeah You didn't know about his son Jizzlea Yeah I mean like Jisler Jizzley.

I love you too, Dad. I'm four years old, but I talk exactly like you. I can't wait for my 10th birthday. Excelsior, right? Is it... Dad, is it okay if we invite Kingston's dad to my birthday party? That's okay, son. Absolutely.

Exelior. It's like, hi, I'm Kingston's dad. I'm just so much. Thank you so much. I don't like the idea of my dad is in ball. Thank you so much, Jizz Lee for inviting me to your birthday. I love you so much, Jisley. I love you so much more than my son, Jisly.

Mua. Mua. Don't tell my son about this, though. He'll be mad if I meant you without be furious. He'll be furious that I have a signature and I'm best friends with the stand and Jis Lee. My son is what I call a butty money. Big old, little gay boy is what we might say. Gay little punk.

He's becoming like so distinguished. I don't like how you're making my buddy boy. dad eloquent. I know. I'm picturing it with that fucking drip on. And the fucking rifle? He's got a fucking elephant rifle. Someone draw Kingston's fucking impossible dad.

Yeah, yeah. With the safari drip. The elephant rifle with those cool fucking armor and helmets on. Yeah. And if you could, if you get the voice in the drawing somehow, that'd be great. Yeah.

Draw the voice as well. They draw what the audio file would look like of it. And this is what it would look like. This is what it would look like. By the way, the artist's worst nightmare probably like that that instruction. Can you draw it?

Do you draw it to what sounds like this? It would be like if somebody commissioned somebody and they're like, what do you want? And they'd be like, I don't know, just do what you feel. Do what you feel works. Yeah. It's like some direction here, buddy. But yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So Stan Lee. Jonathan Hickman. Well, some of the stuff I've enjoyed the most, I would say things that I like the most. Crampus. Jiz Johns is involved in some of my favorite pieces.

Go. And I think he's the best DC writer ever. I would have to say it goes for Jeff John. I'll give that to him. Yeah, I'll be right. I'll get that to him. All of the Green Lantern era when he was just like the best comic book character. Yeah.

That happened? Yeah. Yeah. Like 2000 like... The stuff that really like... Six to 10, he was just like on fire consistently. That's what like really got me into... Well, that's really got me into the cores, man, and actually caring about that stuff.

He made him go from, like, because at first it was just, it was green lantern and then it was Sanestra who had some other kind of power. Right. But Jeff Johns, like, fleshed out to make it like a bunch of other lanterns, different parts of the emotional spectrum. Was there like a green, like, spotlight or like a green flashlight or something? No. Or did they just stick with lanterns the entire time? I think lanterns are more symbolic. Lanterns.

And a flashlight. Why is it symbolic? Because lanterns kind of guide Joey through the darkness. Oh, is it about the underground railroad? They didn't do fleshlights. It was cool. The green fresh light. Yeah, it was cool.

They had those. Ding! It felt way better than pussy. Trust me. Trust me. This perfectly authentic, buddy white fleshlight. And it's green. You're like, it was green?

It was green. Betty White was green. She was green. People just weren't really paying attention. You think they saw Shehawk flashlights? They have to, right? I mean, they will. Yeah.

They will. Dude, I've seen some, Well, no, that's not true. I was going to say flashlights. It was dildos. It was like alien one. You ever see shit like that? They had these things and I'm like, oh, they had a avatar.

The, not the airbender. The, the blue aliens. They had like avatar. I don't know if they were, I think it was one of those things where it says like a costume president of the United States and it's clearly Trump. You know, it just doesn't say it was like that. It was like that. Why is it that they can't like? I don't know.

I feel like. Because they are just them. Like everybody knows it. Uh-huh. You know? They are the. I saw one for like 11 from Stranger Things and it said number girl.

That is crazy. And I was like, are you serious? They don't want to pay royalties. It's just like, I know, but like... I don't feel like they should have to. That's what pisses me off. Yeah, it's like Halloween.

It's like, if I, if a kid does it with, I guess, well, I get, I get it. I get it. I can't say that I don't get it. I think the Borderland Psycho one that I got, the Borderland Psycho one was, I think it was like, crazy person or like inmate.

And I was like, what are we doing? Like, I get it because like, you know, when I think about it, just how cut. throw the businesses. There's no way they're not going to be like, we're suing you. I just don't understand how they aren't already doing that.

You know what I mean? It's because of the stupid loophole. It's just like say, well, you know, we started the show talking about Musk like paying people to like vote or whatever. Well, he's not technically paying them the vote. Right. Yeah. He's paying them to do certain things.

Oh. Which would lead to, you know. Yeah, that's literally, it's literally, but like. The bullshit loophole is what it's like, we all know what this is. And the fact that we just. allow this to happen is mind boggling. Where are you at? Second Amendment people. I need a manse.

Liars. I need immense power. Lying ass niggas. They just like guns and don't give a shit about the Constitution. Fuck them niggas, man. They like guns. They're cowards. To be fair. Yeah. I don't really care much about the Constitution either. I do like conceptually, but like I haven't like

I haven't like sat there and read it. I care about, I've, um, I'm not no fucking scholar, but I don't have the Constitution to read the Constitution. I've gone through I've gone through them. It's really not that long. Well, it's not that. It's boring.

It's just more about understanding. It's just more about understanding how our government works as all. It's more about understanding like the amendments that were kind of obvious. The Constitution is like fundamentally as a one article.

It's really impressive to be created at a time where it was so much vibrant ignorance while these people were like, wait, instead of shitting ourselves to death, Let's sit together and create this like actual important. Good minds coming together to be like, we don't like the idea. You are the most miraculous human ever. I think they probably got some guy to do it on his off time.

Probably, but it still is done. Some brilliant slave and then he stole his ideas. Some brilliant slave. You are the most absolutely astute Negro ever. Like this guy like, boom. The Constitution said like, you know, like, oh, all men are created equal. And then they're like, this is good, but. conceptually all men that look like us and he's like well that's not what it boom you know then then

yeah they it would be so funny that would be fucking hilarious if it was like if the real constitution was like it was like handwritten and all it and you get like all the good parts and then like the second it gets to like some of the stuff that is questionable yeah the handwriting obviously changes to like fucking dimwit fucking stupid like cram it's really funny it's like the whole kind of show of being like we probably shouldn't have slaves really and they're like yeah but Yeah, but we need to listen. I'm not going to listen. We're not going to get the country to listen if we do that right now.

Well, see, the thing is here's the engine thing. It's all about getting rich people on board because only rich people on slaves, right? Yeah. It's the thing. People always kind of forget that. They're like, this is poor people didn't just own poor. It doesn't work that way. It isn't like the poor people we have now.

It's like people in the South that were had bad. Yeah. It's essentially. It's not like when you buy a poor person today. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's not like, yeah, you're going to Ho Depot and buy a poor person. there's like there's an app. Hey, Frederico.

Yeah. Now it's like, this way. I'll feed you. Now there's an app. There's a subscription service. Slaves Plus. Slaves Plus is good. Going on slaves.com must be crazy. I don't know what I can't. Oh my God. I can't even imagine. He's a whole way. Can't wait to see. What is that going to be? It's not going to be porn, dude.

Probably actually. Literally turned into sex chat.com. That's crazy. Crazy. It redirects the sex chat. 16 way video sex. Fucking Discord gang bags. Way. Bro. You have to be on a Discord. On a Discord gang man, you're all joking off. You hear like, I'm coming. It's like, where? Which one? Which one? Which one? Which one? Which one? Which one? Which one? There's so many screens. Whoa! Whoa!

Just overwhelmed. Just so much stuff. That's crazy. Let me, let me very, let me make sure I didn't misspell slaves. Because like, really it went to sexchat.com.

What could you possibly misspelled? They would have also redirected to something like that. Well, I don't know, but, you know, maybe my fingers sucks. Sables. Let me do it again.

Nope, nope. Sexchat, it goes to slaves.com goes to sexchat. What about slaves. That org? Oh. Or slave. Old money.

You think there's slaves.gov? Absolutely. I can learn about my family, my brief family. Oh, no, there's no slave. It's just a gift. There's no slaves.org. There's no slaves.org. Slaves.org. Slaves.org. Slaves.

org. Slaves.org. Slaves. Maybe education. Nope. Slaves.net. There might be a slaves.net, actually. That's fucking crazy, man. I love it. What we got? We got it. Something's loading. We got it. Go back to sex chat. What do we got? Oh, it's, it's, what is that?

Oh, okay, it's no slaves. Dot net. Yeah, okay. It's like a disclaimer. All right. One last one, slavery.com. Oh, my God. What are we doing?

Slavery. Pepsmedia. Slavery.com is G-registered, I don't, Dorin-Clanvon, Peps Media. What the fuck language is this? Look, man. Benjid's dead.

It's a domain that's available. It's really expensive, though. Which one? Slavery. It's a really expensive domain. How much is it? Oh my God. How much is it?

It's $40,000. Go fund me? Okay, guys. No. Let's put it together. Time out. No. Guys, let's get this crowdfunded.

All right. Oh my God. I want to hear him out. If we, if we, if we, sorry, I felt my, I felt my ancestors like. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. ignore them.

I can't. Simmer them. I can't. You guys are dead. I believe in you, Kingston. I believe you, son. My father. Get that domain name.

I'd be so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. 40 grand well space. Create Slavery.org. By the way, that's to own it for like a year, by the way. If we got it, what would we put on it? Just the worst shit. We redirect it to us, I guess.

I don't know. That's a good idea. For all eight people that look it up eventually. Yeah. How much you think? The worst kinds of people, too. That is so great. Last question.

Last question. That's great. Org. I like slavery.com, dude, look at what it turned. Look at this. What language is this? What is this?

Is Greg registered? What? Dur in clant when Pep's media. That is absolutely German. Is that German? Probably. Absolutely German.

That looks. There's parts of it that seems German, but then there's also parts of it that don't. It seems more like simlish than anything to me. Simlish. Simlish? What is that? The Sims language.

We put her email. Norger. Like, there's parts of it that seem German, but there's parts of it. The Dargle-Kul-Schmargelgarf. Yeah. Clargel-Gel-Gargle-Gargle. What's his name? Worverman-Gensen. Smitty, Werverman-German-Gensen.

What's his name? That name is tattooed. I will never forget that. I will forget my kids' names. Maybe, eventually, if I got them. But, like, I will never forget Smitty, Werber and Yeagerman-Gensen. I have a question. That's a good name.

What? Why do people in, like, fucking White'sville, like, a part of the world, like, the Scandinavians speak English? or they conquered two by the Brits? Yes. What are you saying? English is the world's default language. That's true.

Okay, well now that we've wrapped up that mystery. The Brits won, man. It's fucked up. Yeah, anyway, zombie stank wrote in. Last question. He said, hey, got slightly rage baited into subbing to the Patreon on my iPhone. Be nice, Kinskinton.

Got slightly rage bated into something to the Patreon on my iPhone. 799. Fuck you Apple. Love you guys. Listen, you can circumvent that. You can go to the website. it'll work. I would highly recommend doing that in fact.

And if anything, if you're an Apple user, do not buy things through Apple if you don't have to. You can go on your browser. You can whatever and buy it through Google or whatever. Yeah. It's just, it's going to be cheaper. It's truly crazy. So like that's a recommend for like whenever you, you know, you.

It's not like we're getting more money. Yeah. We're not like, none of that goes to us. You just go to a higher tier, motherfucker. Like, what are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing in fact? It's me.

Bench me around. I'm the new. financial advisor for the snark tearing. That'd be fucking crazy. The Daily wire is going in flames. I'd be scared. We're about to be... You see, like...

The Daily Wire is collapsing beneath my very fucking feet. But we're about to make a lot of money here. They fired the two like most prolific racist whores that they had and then things going in flames and now the Jeremy boring left and I'm like, dude, they're they're...

And I'm like, good. Yeah, we're gonna make a lot of money together guys. I'm like, I would... If you bring Abby around, I'll partner with you. Abby Shapiro is dead. Oh Well then I

I literally Want you to stop talking You were useless now Oh shit I wasn't expecting this reaction From the fellas at the snorting And You get out of here

I'm gonna shoot you I would honestly I think Condolences to my sister I think I might have to go to jail Because I think I would beat him up I think I would actually beat up It wasn't until he did the free showvin

Or the free derrick.com Or I was like I think if I see this guy on the streets I might have to do something about that Because I just My sister is so wild I want him to be hit in the back of the head I want him to get a skillet to the back of the head like in Minecraft

What do you mean like the band? Like the band? Holy fuck I'm awake, I'm alive Did you hear the song that they put out recently? No in fact Yeah It's it was one of the

It was like a very like It wasn't cool It wasn't directly anti-woke, but you understand they made it in the certain climate and who exactly who was for. Oh, right. Perfect. I can't wait to listen to it. I would call it like Stephen Crowder medal or something. I can't wait to put it on my Trumpify.

That's my, that's my music service. Dude, if Joe Rogan was like... I only listen to things Trump says I should listen to. If Joe Rogan was like quote unquote woke or whatever, then there would be a Trumpify. There was actually a thing with him recently. He pushed back a little bit. He pushed back. It was barely, but like...

my god it was it was if this is true yeah this is scary and i'm like and then at every corner trying to justify i know yeah what did she do did she do something because like all that girl just getting attacked they're getting randomly picked up many stories because they would they have a trigger nometry i can't fucking believe there's a thing that exists there's like a podcast or something or a youtube channel called trigger nomit yeah i see you've mentioned one of my favorite shows and of course you know they're probably a bunch of centrist retards you know they're just like oh every things one of those people end up on joe wogan's podcast and that's how you get on and then they're talking about these cases and not well informed about the cases oh have you heard about this one no

i haven't looked into it but they're still commenting on yeah this can be scary but you know if you do things if you ramp things up bad people like mistakes are going to happen too and i'm like that's the classifying this as like oh this has to happen and mistakes are going to happen is is it's fucking wild to me do it. It's about that woman I got taken up off the street randomly. It's like, oh, you're... It's about her. It's about there are multiple cases of protesters and then people like that.

Specifically, this is more about the protesting. The people protesting against obviously the genocide getting rounded up and shipped out. They're just saying, oh, they're terrorists or they're Hamas supporter. You know, they're just lying about shit. No evidence. And then Joe Rogan is trying so hard to, you know, because he endorsed Trump. like, uh, she must have did something awful, right? And I'm seeing this trickin-nobics guy, this one fucking British, they're British,

and like, oh, did, uh, since she's, uh, not an American citizen, do they have different rules? Yes. And I'm like, what the fuck do you mean? I did see that, yeah. Do they have different rules? Like, oh, are they trying to say that they wouldn't have given her a green card or a visa if they knew she was going to protest?

And I'm like, are you fucking listening to yourself, you stupid ret? I can't believe it. It is crazy. Yeah, but at the very least, Joe showed some concern. Yeah, I don't know. He was the least concerned that, like, what's happening is scary. But wouldn't admit that, like, this is fucked up. Like, this is what's happening.

He won't connect it. He just won't admit that it is exactly what's happening. Right. He's trying to be like, oh, if he's, he, I'm like, yeah, somebody hit him with a mallet, please. It'll happen. He's always going to that mallet shop. Yeah. And then the owner's just like, I should do it.

I should do it. Yeah, I used to go to that mall shop with him all the time. Doing. Ouch. Ouch. My alpha brain is not working. My alpha brain. Me and Joe Rogan used to always go to Craig McPhlippin's spring-loaded fucking mallets and boxing clubs.

Let's read the name, please. I love getting concussed in that location. Yeah, me too. Zombie stank wrote in, he says, hey. Oh, so he says the, yeah, the got rage bated into subbing on Apple. Right. Right. Thank you. So he subbed to say the Sonic Xbox emulation Chris was talking about was actually them recompiling the whole game to run on a PC, but now the tools are there to do it with any 360 game. That's all about it. It's very cool. I'm curious to see what is even available to get that done with. I want to see X-Men Origins Wolverine. Absolutely. I want to see Spider-Moeuvre Shadows. Yes. I want to see like weird. I know like it wouldn't matter for like Lord of the Rings conquest because that's server base, but like I'd be curious. See if like you could just go. in by yourself.

There's a lot of great games that are just stranded on that. Mercenaries too, I would love. That's not on PC. Let's get cracking. Do it. But, uh, yeah. And you know what?

We'll cut it there. Yes. Try to keep things brisk. Brisk. At a brisk. Like my son. Brist like my piss. I like that.

My son. Hmm. Kingston. I'm so vulgar. Why is this show so so vulgar? mean spirit I taught you better than that

I taught you better than that you were gone the entire time I was gonna say I raised you back allow me to strike an elephant with my rifle and such a smiting man it's head blows up he's shooting ten elephants while he's lecturing you he shot an elephant he's shooting the same ten elephants over and over again he's on his field of dead elephants and he's just shooting dead elephants he's like now son you're gonna want to aim

for the body Sean, this is the last elephant alive And I want to give you the honor to ending its life What Huh, that's my favorite animal I know, that's why I killed all of them And I'll give you the chance to kill the final one Oh my God, that's like the Thanos level shit

Like the vendetta he has with that guy on his birthday or whatever Yeah We're like I found out this is your favorite animal So I killed all of them That's so evil I'd be so depressed We're going to read our $25 patrons now. Remember, you can submit your name here to the Patreon list of names right at the end of the show.

$25. It's an egregious price that, uh, some of you got it like that, man. God bless. Uh, you count me down. It's a great price. It should be $75. It should be fucking $75. The, the pain of this.

Yeah. We got a high. The inflation, guys, sorry. The $25 price tag is now $500,000. We're going to put some tariffs on our podcast. We're going to put tariffs on this consoles, games. All podcasts have tariffs. We're going to put tariffs on these digital games.

Comedy needs tariffs. Comedy needs tariffs. One cent per punchline. Sorry. That's four cents. It's actually really affordable. But Bernadette, Bernardette, Bernardet Banana C. Gay-Y.

Kulshedra Edras. I'm an astrophysicist and fun fact, you can lift, you can fit every major planet between, wait, hold on, something's not right here. Paid. Yeah, okay. Fun fact, you can fit every major planet between Sween's tooth cat.

That's crazy. Racist Hokage. Racist Hokage. Black 10, who has the power of 10 white people. That's so stupid. Oh, yeah, yeah, right.

So dumb, so stupid. Black, too. God Christ. Queen, queers of war. Oh, queen is of the stone geese. I love that we had, yeah, we did have an episode called Gays of War, and everybody was like, Queers of War was right there. That's true.

And it was like, you are right. No, queer's of war is, but see, the, the problem is the art. Right. I had Gays of War. Oh, you're just like Kanye now. Yeah, you does like Kanye. But I understand that queers of war sounds better. but also

It's less dumb Yeah It's just like It is dumb It's It's the If you think about Gays and gears

You understand I do understand This is like I feel like I'm watching Like what is it Inside the actor studio Yeah You know

Or like it's like Wow I never really Or like a DVD commentary With like With like fucking I don't know John Williams

Talking about like I scored I actually Or like George Lucas Like I actually made I made Jar Jar The size of my own

foreskin because I really wanted to relate to him. It's like, George, your foreskin is massive. It's actually deeply good sight. It's about twice the height of a child and about the size of Jar Jarvings. What the fuck am I hearing he said right now? Oh my God. RFK drinking Trump's evil come to become

Majan RFK. It's Emma, two rats in a trench coat. I'm Chris Ray Gu. Derek. This is Derek. God damn it. This is the N-word man. This is Tom swastika, aka we was Kingston Jameson.

I don't know. The good swine is in the Black Lodge. Ellen, Elon Musk. I can't wait for him to transition. Yeah, Ellen. That'd be fucking amazing. It's me. I'd want to do comedy.

You can't tell jokes anymore. You know, my advice. My testes are gone. Tesla We renamed it to Tesla Tesla To appease I love Tesla

I love it When he said that I couldn't believe it Dude I thought I was Crack and a slip up No But he was in the White House We love Tesla We love Tesla

He was in the White House Just recently talking And I was like Oh he just says Tesla I've never even heard him Say an R that strongly Yeah Even when talking about

Because I'm not black And around him But like At that That's actually a pretty good joke. It's not bad. It's something. But, yeah, Elon Musk is a filthy African.

My plan to solve the Israel-Palestine conflict is just Duke Jerusalem, so no one is happy. My contention has always been that there's a McDonald's in Jerusalem, so it can't be a holy land. The second of McDonald's there, it's just over. That's a good point. Berser Broly, big bouncing backside. The Sloker 2, why so derpy, meggers with attitude. Meggers. Maggard.

Beef stroking off. Gagga, Gagga, Gag, Gave for the Chode. Bad to the bone. I can't believe the woke left without saying goodbye.

Friza White and Sightak, Walt Jr. In Zarmond form. Come people. Come people. Broley. Oh my God.

That's layered, my guy. Did you ever see that? We talked about it on the show, right? The broly, the guy who did Broly's voice doing that song.

Oh, yes, yes, we did. Come. People. come people right right right that's awesome yeah that's what that was that's deep meggerman ex and mad dick hunter quiro uh domination vaunted the dead johnson johnson park uh derrick not chauvin is innocent free him round-eyed asian mistaking the voice of god for schizophrenia sweetie please send me your babitos tomorrow or else uh you should show them off on the podcast john trons miscarried derrick made up a pirate name for yourself make up a pirate name for yourself please

Gras, don't call me good kitty, Bob Or my bar of cock will start Rushing. Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! The animus is making you able to watch your ancestors memories in 4K means Desmond probably owns a bunch of CB. Monstrance clock, to the pulse of the monster's cock, an anus cleanse, unable to walk, black tick

will turn and get realigned. Let's be gay bob. Let's gay bob. Smelling ants, smelling ants for one big ounces scientific curiosity. You look, uh, you look, uh, you look, uh, what? Which ones are the ones with the Sikh?

You look like a Sikh. You look like a cone head. Like you have like... Featuring Dan Aykroy. It kind of has the shape of like the Sikh turban. Not anymore. All right. The fuck is this.

He's checked out. Yeah. Rededucting his not speaking from his pain. Is he what do you? I'm like you guys talk. Go to your day. Is he black devil? What is he?

Black. Dere black. Dare black. Black. That sucks. Black devil. Black devil. Black devil.

This city needs me. This is the Devon Towns the song. It's like that. Bad devil. Bad devil. Bad motherfucking devil. Get out of my city. This is my city, black devil.

This is my city, black devil. I am Sunwilsk. Kiskv. Kv. You need to chill for you die. You try to say Wilson Fisk's name backwards? Almost. It's like not even right perfectly.

Sun will skis. I said Sunwilsk. It should be like What? How would you? No. No. No will? Is that it?

No will? No. A more worthy endeavor there has never been. No. Will. No slu? No. I'd have to write it out.

If I can write it out. Lou. No slew. Shut up. That was like what. This could be kissed. Oh my God. You can stop.

I was asking a short. Short. I was like watching a short bus race. Cassif. Kisif? I am Nosewil. Kassif. This is my city. Black devil.

Vanessa. So, it'll be, this pie with me. It'll be Kisif. Ksiv. Kiswil. He got what we ended up with.

Nosswill. Right. Kisiv Norskwill. But when I look down at my puddle of come, Vanessa I I wipe my hands and I look out

at the city it's a corrupt city Asenov Asana Are you saying Vanessa backwards Stupid You are Asana

Please Asanan My love My hate My But he's a good guy He's like So he's like he's trying to help A devil dare is like out there being a fucking dickhead.

The devil dare is god damn devil dare. Ass ass enough. My hate. You have been a thorned in my side. This is such a stupid concept. Every facet of it. Devil dare is great though. I love the idea of a backwards daredevil who's like he can see perfectly well

but he can't do anything else. He's got fucking he's got 30 30 vision. He's got 30 vision but only directly forward. He's so... He can't like... He's got no peripheral. Yeah. It's like tunnels.

Oh my God. Devil Dare is great. Someone draw Devil Dare doing like a fucking gainer off of the Statue of Liberty and not understanding how high that is. I hate this city. Kitchen hell so much. Kitchen hell. Kitchen hell is such a city.

This is so dumb. I must save my city. I must save Heaven's bathroom now. Heaven's bathroom. What is it? Heaven's bathroom. I will save Heaven's bathroom if my name isn't. He can't do it either.

Nis Noss will. Nossil. This is stupid. But I'm trying to say, Wilson. Please read my name. Thugzilla, king of the, that was the dumbest. Wow. Noss.

Lugzilla, king of the hoodsters, losing all my friends in the custody battle. Kurt Cobain, P.O.B. Nobody cares, but I am now gay. free for the past year. Death. Jack W. F.M. Bombing Red Bull for dropping

Lawson the cunts. What do you want to call kingpin? Like, if you want to use the word kingpin. Uh, fucking, I don't know. I didn't come.

Pinking. Queen, queen, queen, his name's just, his name's pinking. Pinking? What the hell does that mean?

What's that? His name's picking. If you, oh, if you want, if you want, ha, you're funny.

Okay. Okay, okay, Okay, I was thinking, okay, I got you. That's what it would be. Pinking. That's so stupid. Of course. Shut the fuck up, please.

All right, Ben Shapiro. I will save my city. Heaven's bathroom. Is that it? Whatever. Stop. Heaven's bathroom is. I always knew that.

From devil dare. From devil dare. If my name isn't pinking. His name isn't. Panky. That's what's wild about it. Something. His name isn't kickpin of the show?

It'd be nip. It'd be nip. this is such a dumb there's nip nip nick nick nick it'd be nip nick nick nick nick nick nip nick nick nip nick nip nick it is nip nick

if my name isn't nip nick it isn't the show though they haven't called me in the Disney one but in this version they've called me nip nick nick starring Vincent De Nonrio

Yeah, whatever. He looks like the fucking alien in middle black. Yeah, we're getting into the weeds here. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. Salt. Salt. What opposite of water?

Salt. Meat. I just want to say, what's the opposite? of water meat that is the craziest thing I know this is fire to be too stupid like salt meat meat there's not even a there's

not even a nano angstrom of cleverness to this I know Jesus fucking crazy don't touch me are all coming you amazing Ben Shapiro anti-commodity is funny than comedy Ben you would say that Ben Shapiro stretching his balls like a god of war QTE

Kingston's dad I need your help Save my city That's a good impression actually Like actually I'm ironic I for some reason I was fucking around with the colors On the TV and I was watching Daredevil

And I thought that too I was like this actually sounds like him I wasn't expecting that Let's do daredevil in a Wilson was talking It started Kingston's dad I need your help

No, I'm Dair Devil, hold on Oh Oh, go again Excuse me Yeah, go ahead Uh Devil Dare I, whoa

You're He's just blindish He's just a blind guy Well, you're incredibly blind I'm not sure how you're antagonizing my city so much When you can't even fucking see anything Are you caught Are you watching Born Again yet or no?

Not yet, I'm almost done with season three. Don't touch me. Don't touch me. But I'm, dude. He's not even saying anything. That's my dad.

I'm a friend of pressure. He's blind, mute in deaf. Yeah, he says, he can't do anything. He can move around and that's it. But why is he a nuisance? Why is he my fucking nemesis?

He's like Mr. Magoo kind of. That's what I was going to say. We're like, by the way, amazing reference for everybody. The was a crazy old reference. I don't even know why I know that.

But like, If he was a blind guy that would like accidentally accomplish everything that he needed to do. So like it would be that. Like he would like trip into like a broken glass. Like you'd trip into a broken glass and that would like summon the police to a place where like a robbery was taking place under. Yeah. You know what I mean? And the odds of him terrorizing my city is incredible.

It must be fate. I don't do. Stop. Don't move. Don't move. Help. Help. Help.

Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. That would be terrifying. If you know he keeps getting into like

Yeah, yeah Like if he just saw him moving I'd be terrified like what's gonna happen It's like final destination almost Like you know like you can't stop it He is final destination kind of He is Mr. Final Anyway

Mr. Final All right just go That's something so stupid Mr. Shapiro Mr. Shapiro I know you've been up to things lately Mr. Nipnig?

How you doing? Nipin. Wait, what was it again? Nipnig? Wait, that's not right. Nipnik. Nipnik. The audience is furious.

How can I help you? Don't touch me all. But Shapiro's sotig is ballsy. I'd rather give you money than to charity. Big meaty stinks. I'm slipping. I've learned various things. I'm slipping and no famous scene.

I can't put the cocktail. I require Abby Shapiro's milk. Well, she's got. Immediately. Unfortunately, she is no longer with us. Reserate her. We have the means. Abby Shiro is no longer with us.

I don't want to hear that. You took Abbey's milk from me He picks him up with suplexes him Like you know when he got mad at like Karen about Wesley No, it's the milk It's Abby's milk He's actually really good

I'm sorry she was as she's gone she was tragically folded Into an envelope All that milk onto waste All that milk on to waste The envelope was looking crazy though You know How else am I supposed to beat off And feed myself

she's gone. That's a really good impression. What about Vanessa? What about your fucking freak of a wife? I don't care about Vanessa. He flips the tape. I need Abby's milk now. Like I said, well, he's like shaking.

He's always shaking, yeah. I was like, even when he's given a press conference trying to convince people that he's a good guy. And he's like, I'm like, we look at him. He's snarling silently. It's crazy. Dare devil tried to frame me.

And I'm like, uh, you're kind of scaring me, buddy. The fact that he becomes mayor is so insane. It's so insane. It is. It's so insane. But then I also not. It's really not. Thank you.

Thank you for saying that. Like the idea of them, like, when they did Devils ran, it was like, people were like, how would people think that he would become mayor? It's like, Andy, the man who's like. Look where we are now, nigga. Jimmy Rings. He at least does some good. I forgot about Jimmy.

I forgot about Jimmy Rings. At least he has like, uh, he's a fucking psychopath but legitimately wants to he wants the city to be prestigious

but in a fucked up way you know what I mean Is he gay in the alternate universe too and his husband's like Vanessa Vanessa Vanessa Vanessa

I love your penis so much here you have an amazing cock Thank you Thank you Can we please stop? clone. It's just himbing it. It's just him.

He's just fucking himself. Oh, that's the seed. Oh, it's so good. I love the way your penis feels in my ass. Yes. Thank you so much. Thank you, Vanessa.

I love what your ass feels on my penis. I love it. The stupidest show in the fucking world. People listen to this. Women listen to this. There are women with class. He's only the classiest woman's going to put out of the snark. tank in the car for you.

Women that are like Vanessa, essentially. Vanessa. You keep adding a tea in there. I like Vanessa. That sounds better than Vanessa. Well, but it's dumb. It's nega Vanessa. Nega.

Vanegga. Yeah. Yes, that's what it's. Look at that. Vannego. If a snake bit sweet, this is by the way, so long winded this bit. If a snake bit sweet on the dick, would you suck the venous? Tell you guys, tell you guys what.

Edit the best parts of this bit out so that it's reasonable. And then you can make it a clip on another channel. Yeah. The usable footage from that bit will be three minutes. Maybe. Maybe like 14, 15 seconds. If a snake that's thrown out of the dick, would you suck the venom out if it was guaranteed to work? No way.

Lost it at the Cortez. You all got some change. When Elon finally dies, catch me going stupid at the club. Like Jim carries the mask. Gids. Touched Sween. Every time he pulls his phone out. Wolverine

It's penis Penises aesthetic claws So good Penis reed Why did them slowly get erected Let's go

Bubb You're so right That weiner read Is more obvious Yeah of course Yeah we like Weeterine is That's very

That's Queers of War level You know what I mean Where it's like Yeah But like What about penis When it's worse It's better

Anti-comedy funny. I can't get over how much worse penis reed sounds as a word than anything I've ever heard before. The funny thing is, out of context, when anyone even know what you're talking about? Maybe, maybe. They think it was maybe like a chemical. Like if you be like, hey, who do you think penis reen is? I think someone will be like, hey, hey, first on the street. I know you're, I know you're busy.

I don't have your life. You're probably late for work. Give me a second, please. If you walk away, I'll shoot you. Oh, my God. Well, yeah, what do you want? We should do it on the show. We should actually do that.

We should do it on the street segment where we take like the end result of our joke and we ask people what the fuck do you think this could possibly mean. Yeah. You know? That's kind of cool. That's a great idea. We have. I think that would be, I think that would genuinely be so hilarious. Yeah.

I think it would be. We'd go viral from that. Let's not ask. I don't know about that. I don't want to ask any women, though. I don't want to ask any women because I feel like we'll get. like charge or something. Oh maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Go to be like, oh, it's some sexual

thing. I'm like, no, it's penis reed. It's a joke. It is sexual, but like not in the way you think it. He has d's on his head. As you're being dragged away into like an empty van. Yeah, yeah. As you being that ice fucking captures you.

Ice grabs you. Then those three spins and slams you in the back of the man. We have a new order. We have a new order to deport podcasters. You're like, well, Damn, I'm not even I'm not even mad, man

Oh man We have a new order To deport retard I'm sorry You just You've made the cut Gerald's like This should only be one podcast

It should be mine Right Jamie It should be mine Yeah whatever you say Joe Just keep giving me money Jamie's beating off a fucking Sandpaper over there Baddy boy radio

Batty boy radio Batty boy Divest thyself of wenches Anoint thy flesh With a homies hot goo I'm Tom Sweeney And I hate the Jews Kevin Durant's feet

Eat my shit and hair Oh right, right I can't get over how crazy that is Eat my shit and hair Doe Oh my god Dr. Manlova to stop wearing And love the cock

Fuck you I ain't paying my TV license bitch Mr. Pants making a fleshlight Out of a belly button Cardboard pie The Rebirth of Pussy and Tims Jolly old dipshit The Ace of Parades

Flavor Flav can control time With his cock oh, this clock. Yo, that's way better. That's way better. Oh, my God. Oh, Christ. You like to helicopters it?

I'm going counterclockwise. And then everything goes reverse. Is he a lot? He's dead, right? He's a lot. What? How old is he? He's very much alive.

He's very old, though. He felt, like, decrepit when I was a kid watching him. He looks like. On that show? He looks like. Flavor of love. Flavor of love. He was like he was putting

a microwave for a little bit. 100%. He really does look like. They look like beef jerky. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy.

He started dating what's her name? Bridget Nielsen, I think. I don't know. She played Drago's wife. Yeah. She's heir to the Nielsen dynasty. Yeah.

She fucking. Brigette Nielsen or something like that or Nelson. Whatever the fuck are dating her? Is she crazy tall? She's very tall. It was an abomination of thing. That baby would

look crazy. So it wasn't, it was like a celebrity, because I don't think it was flavor of love. I think it was a show where there was like washed out celebrities were. It was like a secondary. It was like Flavor Flavit eats Chipotle on a beach. You know, and that was the name of the show. If Flavre has diarrhea in the fucking open ocean

or something like that. Yeah, yeah. That's what I was in that show. That's what I remember. The show, it's like Scott Bayo is 45 and single. You remember that? Yes, I do. Who cares? Strange love is what it was called. Strange love, of course. Yeah, it is strange if it's got him involved Look at the context

Come up a lot actually today Not a lot but like more than once which is crazy Look at that fucking coward over Sliver Slaves I was thinking that and I didn't say it You're lying I'm not even joking What the fuck I was thinking Slave or Slave

And like the second But like I couldn't think of like what that would be So I gave it out No he's just all shackled and shit Chains his chain his chate the clock Slaver Slame He's that little guy that's dancing A bit of light when he's here

Pump it up in the basement that we talked about last episode? Oh my God. We weren't talking about... Goatman. Derek, can I get a hinga-diggi-d-gadig-a-gamalilah? I don't know what any of that is.

Black Klansman. Look at that. Long as a highway, I'm gonna ride him all night long. If you're feeling so gay, I'm gonna suck that shit till dawn, Rascal Flats. Captain Julk Merica,

I'm over here stroking my beetle dig. I got lotion on my beetle dig right now. I'm just stroking my shit. I'm horny as fuck, bug. I hate that so much. I've memorized it at this point. Hate the beetle dick

and a little fucking, just squirting, fucking gay little beetle squirting of the thought of a food or rat peepee. Sonic fans found a way to reconciled Xbox 360 game. You guys can leave the Patreon. You too can put it. Hey, fuck off. Yeah, what the hell?

If they leave, that's coming out of your pain. I'm not even tripping about it. Come over to me. Gay little, okay, I read that already. Dr. Shapiro prescribing everyone to suck on his sister's mommy milkers. I love the idea of a doctor who sounds like that being like, it's not looking good.

Looks like the only remedy is You're gonna have to suck my taint The only remedy for your fucking cancer You suck the fuck out of my dick right now Yeah Long and hard It's long and hard And it needs a lot of work

Well not not mine Metaphorically It's long and hard It's very, very flasked and very small Very pleasant Very flaccid and very small The difference between my aright penis And my non-rikeptus is

Damn it is It's virtually impossible in the text It is I can tell you right now, I don't even know most of the time. I suppose peeing. I put it under a microscope and I can barely even tell. There's one stodge twitch and that's it.

Oh, my God. It was crazy. I'm just getting back from the hospital because, believe it or not, a tardigrade went and stole it. I got it back though. I got it. A tardigrade went off and stole my dick. That's how small it was.

That's crazy. You know what a tartagrade is? No. Tartagrade is those little microscopic like bears that exist in space. That's what those things are called? Yeah. I was like, what small-ass thing

are you talking about? I was just like... But they're in space? Yeah, that's what makes them fucking crazy. That's what's so wild. Those are the ones that are going to survive. Like little bears.

Those ones that can survive in like extreme heat and they call them water bears. Yeah, water bears is what I was thinking of. That's impressive. That's crazy. But yeah, they're turning.

Yeah. Tarnagrin. I fucking graze my dick. I felt it. Wow. Whoa. Suck my dick right off. That's fucking crazy.

Ah, give me. Give me. It's me. Your father. please be your father please ven will be one Australian dollar Smitty the kid Bam Would you do it if he asked?

No Send the funny reels To see you all on Instagram I nut you know we all known for donuts Itchibon Kassigov says play monster hunter Post clarity nut from hell's heart I comment D Dr. Coffee the negotiator

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You should call the socket. No, I'm not going to do that. With a Transylvanian accent, I am Gondorlock and you must be very wary of my vampire penis. Life's like this, well,

you fuck and you suck and you gape and you stretch at my ass and you turn it inside. Up, blah, blah, blah, something else. Craig the Canadian Joker 4, Woker 2, back in action

needs writing. I forgot that was the name of that fucking thing that we did. It's your boy, Shawnee D. Come Titty. Serber's agent 267 bought cargo 700 Would you rather have $1 or $2?

Damn. Dang, it's crazy. What a deep philosophical question. I want $1.00 because I feel like it's a trick question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Candy F'ser in the Avalax Pussies, Uncle Ruckus' voice, drag them knuckles to Popeyes. Love that you for Pappas.

I don't have a poppies in a minute. I love Pobyes. This is a problem. Pretty good. I haven't had in a while. I haven't a while either. Lillian Jojo takes, taking bets on seeing who can pick their partner for, slurping, stroke and smoke and joking, and motocons going like this.

I think you'd go first. I think Lily would get you first. Drip M.H Lord of Aldrin. I think we're a better chance of more powering it. Oh, right. We did talk about that. Just FYI,

the tragedy of revenge is on YouTube and Chris was right. It's fucking terrible. Lull, still cool. What was that? The tragedy of revenge. Oh, the tragedy of revenge.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, put that on while you're eating put that video out while you're eating Chipotle or whatever in your living room and be ready to be entertained thoroughly by a fucking

half-hazedly thrown together time weight. I just remember something really important. Oh, okay. Go ahead. It's about you, man. Do you, did you do a, let me pull this up real quick. Oh, wait, I'm on the snark tank one. Let me go on mine.

Mine. Did you do a parody of Hey Delilah like a million years ago? Pro probably. Yeah, so like this. Probably horrible. So this is interesting. Is it, this exists? So, well,

No, so let me tell you about, so there's a guy named Jimmy D that you might be aware of because he made a, I shouted him out on the live show we did. And, because he did the collab, Peter Man, one of the greatest YouTube poops ever. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He also did Peter Man 2 with them. It's fucking, I'm still waiting for Peter Man 3, Jimmy. Anyway, so he hit me up and was saying that he found, he was looking for this video of this parody that he remembers from a long time. And he said he could not find it anywhere. and then he recreated it himself the best that he could.

So himself in a way that I guess the person did it. Oh, weird. So then. How does he know it's me? Does he know what he? Well, so this is how he found out. So we did this way back thing to try to find out like he found an old video. Yeah.

It was a Wonka one. So yeah. So he found an old video of you that was tied to your name, uh, mind freak C.M. Yeah, yeah. And it's an old video of view on the phone talking about FedEx or Slip shit. Oh, yeah. I don't remember. That was your old YouTube, mind freak CM?

Yeah, I just made random shit. I had random ass accounts all the time. He was like, holy shit, like this leads to your name, YouTube.com slash whatever, at least your YouTube. Yeah, it still is technically that. Like you could type that in. It would take you my channel. That's what happened.

How we found out it was this guy. That's so funny. This guy found. So you did a parody apparently. Yeah, like 2006 or seven or something. Yeah. And he was looking for it. And so his main thing is he wanted you to see the video and see it like how it came out, him redoing it.

That is so fucking funny. He also wanted me to ask like, do you possibly have that original video laying around somewhere? No way. No shot. Like that thing is gone. Yeah. Like the original like file? It's just kind of like very small world shit where he was, he's aware of you through the, uh, when I shouted out, people let that guy and let him know. And then so it's just like, oh shit. And since I, I, I, uh, we follow each other. That's why it was very easy for him to reach out. That is so crazy. Yeah.

Let me give you a little piece, but I'm sure because of the, you can't play the whole. I can't play the whole thing because of the. Sure. Yeah. It'll get copyright. Yeah. So he just like. Wait, so he sang it?

Yeah. So he just redid it. And I guess it's very similar to how it was done before. That is crazy. That is absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. I did that. That's so fucking amazing.

Yeah. Yeah. This is nuts. What the fuck someone else did this? Yeah, this is Jimmy D. From memory? This is, yeah. So Peter Man, the guy that did Peter Man,

I'll keep playing a little more. That is fucking, I have to find this now. Yeah. Like, I, there's no way it's, I bet that footage is exactly. I bet he went on the maps, dude, if I could get the exact footage. He probably, I mean, you probably, I bet he probably nailed it.

Because that's definitely it. I'll send the, the link so you can see it in its entirety. That is nuts. Because that is man, is that? No, it's not 20 years old yet. But like that is getting there.

Disasterously old. That was like 2007, absolutely. And I'm just like, okay, so my question is, or eight earliest. Did that shit, do you remember that getting? What the fuck up? I just, I have a problem with my hands being able to trigger

like a thing so easily. I wish it was like a fail save. because sometimes I'm like just walking and then like I accidentally feel my finger the tip of my finger touches something and it changes to a new video and I'm like could it be like are you sure you want to like I need some anyway that is crazy um

do you remember that video went viral at all because no I don't not to my understanding see because that's what weirds me out it didn't have that many because I'm like this guy somehow stumbled upon your video from a million years ago

and remembers it vividly enough to recreate it. That's really cool. That is fucking crazy. Yeah. And this guy, he made a, he made a quick little YouTube poop of us when, because when we shouted him out. So I shouted him out in the line, I shouted out in the line. Because I still stand by Peterman being one of the greatest things ever created. Like, if you guys haven't seen Peter Man one and Peter Man two, the YouTube poops, I'm a YouTube cooom of sorts. The only, if, if, if the only reason I'd be sad of YouTube just exploded and all the servers were down would be the YouTube poops that I did extract. Right. Yeah. But anyway, um, um, So I save everything, guys. They call me crazy. They call me insane. Look at me. Like how many great, dude,

my phone is full of bullshit. Yeah, but so the issue with that, though, is that, like, your phone is almost so full as to basically not have anything on it. Yeah.

Because it's, it's like that, that it's looped around into, like, you might as well not have anything because how long would it take it? Like, if I told you,

find this thing. Okay. No shot. I mean, I don't have an example because I wouldn't know. Give me an example of something I would have. Okay, find the,

um, the, the, um, the pirates themed clown getting shot. I don't have it saved on my phone. I can find out. I couldn't save it on my phone. That's weird.

They don't have that said. I've tried. I've tried. I've tried. I've tried. I can't find it in the heartbeat on YouTube though. Yes, you can. Everybody can finish in a heartbeat on YouTube.

But that's the whole point, right? If YouTube goes down. I can find an image of a swastika in a second. It's like a, I lost a video of, it's called, it used to be called, well, it was called Fresh Prince Gore. And it was, there was a meta of Fresh Prince, video. compilations of Fresh Prince things being synced up to like metal

songs. A lot of them still exist. I actually restored one. I restored one called Fresh Prince Death Metal. And I restored, I made it HD because the old one is so like, the footage, the quality is terrible because it's like, it came out like 2006 or something. So Fresh Prince Gore does not exist anymore. What I did find was somebody

remix the original and put another song in it. So I'm going to restore it finally. I'm just going to have to like sync it up again to the original song. I'm so fucking happy that I found an example that I can use because literally it's gone from the internet. I've tried everything. Anyway, do you understand?

What's up? What you just did? I just opened up a pen with boxes of memories. I remembered. I remembered something that I saw a long time ago. It was like it was called Fresh Prince Gore, but it wasn't that. Okay. It was like, you know what when they

when they throw DJ Jazzy Jeff out the door? Yeah, I love that. There was like, I think where it was like the show. show, jazz and Uncle Phil fighting. Yeah.

Him being, you know, it cuts that outside shot of him flying out. Yeah. And then it splices to a guy

diving in front of a train. Like a real, like a real one. A real fucking, yeah, it's like a lively thing. And I just remember, I just remember me

like that is crazy. What's crazy is that it was color graded. Oh, really? It's like it matched. That's, dude,

someone really put some thought into it. That's cool. Oh, man. that was a long time ago. That was like, maybe 2010. I saw that.

That's great. Right. Oh, you want to blow me? That's so crazy. I can't get over that. I gotta see, man. Yeah.

I can't even fathom how old that is. Is there a point in your guys' phone where it goes from being like just pictures of regular things or things you thought were cool to this like bullshit? No. I don't really take a lot of bullshit photos. There's a hard point in like 2020 where it goes from like, oh, like pictures of me and Lily cute stuff. Oh, a picture of a dog being sent to this base. Maybe. I don't know.

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Yotus. Of course. I love the idea of Yodas. Yotis. Related to my W. You come.

the force I will. Sister, my wife, is. The first surgery, David, left in a cyber truck, now skitting along the pavement in my car seat, holding a steering wheel. The ethereal spinning fleshlight. Pre-Raz, Blake 896, who do you think you are?

I am, Gay Jonah Gamason, editor-in-achie of the Gayley Bugle, Uncle Chip, turning into clunky salsa from his sleeping bag. Dude, that movie was fucking crazy. That shit's crazy. Das Gooppy, Asmond Gold is Jesus for roaches. I forgot about my Jared Fogel Time Machine name and wrote a question into a book club.

They read my questions, but not my name. Shot Young Sheldon waiting on Derek's eventual OJ arc. Nikki Ziggy, Dom, they're trying to spread giant worms. Coming soon from the Snark Tank. The only Indian-centric Manosphere podcast, Ganeshyn Fitt. Willem de Cortex. Sorry, Miss Jackson, badly brave.

Dog to Baby Hunter. Ethereum needs help, lowering his weapon in Halo 3, penis. Naferum, Memphis 1. You don't remember that iconic scene? No. dude's really upset and he's like Oh from

Craven the Hunter Yeah that iconic scene Yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah Rino's roar as they call it Riding out our list Is King of Fat Pazard Thank you all for

Listening to another one of these Fucking All right bye Thank you guys I love you guys Bye everybody bye