The Snark Tank - #314: Penisrine and the Pinkertons
Episode Date: April 7, 2025https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSnarkTankhttps://snarktank.shop/...
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Welcome to the Snartek.
You're about to get your news glazed by the great Chris Racon,
Derek Blackman, and Tom Sweeney.
Sit back and prepare for some glazing glory.
These horses are left.
The left are shaking very extreme horned horses.
This horse seems quite, quite, quite, quite a,
obsessed.
What about comedy?
Bring me comedy great again.
I mean,
and a horse is fucking.
It's comedy.
He's being fucked.
He's being fucked on the end of a large horse's dick.
He's like,
it's comedy.
It's comedy.
It's comedy.
The left doesn't think this is funny.
Yeah,
his arms are breaking.
His arm twists through his fucking skin.
I'm laughing to the,
two other horse come and hold his hands down.
That's crazy.
They take their hooves off and like little hands are there.
Yeah.
Get them.
I'm laughing to the.
point I'm mostly a mouth.
It's like that image of Goku when he's when he's being grabbed by the great...
Anyway, welcome to the Stark Tag podcast.
The nerve of you.
Yes.
Welcome to the Stark Tag podcast.
It's me, Chris and Tim, uh, sweetie and Tim Derek.
Good.
Look at that.
Very good.
Very good.
I couldn't, uh, by the election of Wisconsin Supreme Court.
Oh, that's right.
I did see that.
That's what it was.
And Corey Booker.
I don't know what that is.
Oh, his, uh, his, uh, his, uh,
fucking,
his,
isn't he dating somebody weird?
He was,
he was,
he was Arroyo Dawson for a while.
Right,
that's what it was.
Yeah.
Damn,
lucky bitch.
Yeah,
he defumbled the bag,
done together anymore.
He was like slapping those
ficts like crazy and shit.
Lucky best.
Okay,
well,
she's been fine since I was
looking man.
All right,
so that happened.
I don't know anything
about that too.
I know that he was like
bribing people
with like million dollar checks.
Oh,
come vote for me.
He was doing it again,
right?
It worked with the fucking
Trump,
right?
The bribery and all the stuff he spent, like, close to $300 million on the election.
Sure, yeah.
And it worked.
He bought it.
So they said 300 votes?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's all it was.
He bought, they tried to buy the Wisconsin Supreme Court election and was saying, this is going to be the, he was saying it's going to be so important.
It's going to determine, like, the outcome of humanity.
Oh, cool.
And I think there was a lot of people that just, like everything does.
On the right, once Trump won, they went back to not caring about anything.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
So he even with the 26 million that he poured into this election, which is record breaking,
he was slamming fucking George Soros for pouring in a measly $2 million.
Like, comparatively.
How dare he?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
These fucking billionaire oligarchs of this, Nick, right?
I can't stand this dude so much.
But yeah, he got blown the fuck out, him and his in his lackey.
Yeah.
I mean, I would take that money and just not, like, I don't.
You'd lie?
Why?
Of course, for a million dollars?
Why not?
Like, why wouldn't?
I would too, of course, but also, you know, it, it was, it was not even like it was real.
Yeah, I know.
It was a pre-selected person like, oh, the head of this conservative, like think tank or whatever won the million dollars.
Or like a glove company.
Or like, we make a motion.
Yeah, we make a, I mean, that would be nice.
Oh, dude, speaking of weird shit before we.
Oh, right.
So I got a package this morning.
It was supposed to be.
So I got a package, right?
understand what I'm about to say to you
I literally just bought a tongue scraper
from Amazon because I was like I just wanted to do a tongue scraper
which by the way a lot of people don't do that which is strange
I have a tongue scrape
has a brush and it's a two-sided thing
oh damn it's a brush and a scraper
oh that's pretty sick that's pretty good
I just wanted to replace it so I was like I should
I should order one it's been a while and so it gets here
this morning I see it it's like you know the
little Amazon app opens it
it has the picture of your package
on your doorstep
and you're like oh cool it's here
And then I pick it up and it's the address is completely wrong.
It's not even like the wrong apartment or like the wrong like building on the street.
It's like a different.
Everything is wrong.
Yeah.
And I'm like, huh.
But like the app is saying, oh, but this is your package.
So I'm like, I mean, I guess.
So I open it.
And it's just like a bunch of like, what was it like LED lights?
LED?
Powder.
It was, it was sodium citrate.
So I was like, who the fuck wants this spicy?
I can say spicy acidic ass.
fucking salt. Like what the fuck is this? And then like many, many bags of like what my brain said,
oh, this is emulsion. I don't know what emotion is. But like, just lick. I don't know what it is.
It's like, uh, well, it was like a, it was like a, it was like a, so it was like something that.
He bought honey packs. It was like, somebody brought a lot. Well, it's like somebody's making
something fucking weird. And then there's LED lights. And I was just thinking, this is like turns into
some putty that's going to seal somebody in a basement.
and then they're just going to use LED lights
to keep them dimly lit
and then it's going to be like a snuff film or something
that's what I saw.
My first thought was like
I mean the LED lights threw me off a little bit
my first thought was like with the powder
or the salt and then like and then like the packets
they look like IV bags literally
I was like is this someone's
well I thought it was just like a
oh someone medically needs this
like sight unseen
I didn't read any of it
I just saw powder and like IV bags full of liquid
I'm like oh my God what's going on
oh no someone's going to die
if I don't get this to him
but it turned out I looked up the address
it's literally just a bar
down the road
Yeah
And so it's like oh that makes sense
Yeah as soon as they're like
Oh okay
The bar you don't give it to them
I'm gonna give it to them
I'm gonna yeah I'll walk it down
After the show or something
But it's just like
I'm wondering if they have my tongue scraper or not
You know what I mean
I wonder if it's like a mix up pack
But I doubt it because like what is the likelihood of that
So there's a the likelihood
Especially
I think
Like I think like I just don't get mixed up
Like point to point
You know and also since
since it's a business, usually they're handed packages directly because they're just like open.
There's somebody's there.
Yeah.
Somebody's there working and then they go.
But there's a tongue scraper.
They're like, what the fuck?
But here's the question though.
When you saw the package because, you know, a lot of times they'll do the picture thing.
Sure.
Was it not like weird that there was a box instead of just a thin package?
Because they would just send like a thin package if it was just a ton of screen.
Well, so my thing was like, I got home and I was like, oh, look, my package.
and then like I moved
and I was like this is a really heavy tongues graver
and then I saw the
the sticker and I was like
oh this is wrong entirely
this isn't even my package
and then I went inside
I just left it there I was like I don't know
who's fucking package that is sort of itself
and then I went inside and then the day passed
and then I checked my phone to see if it
like maybe that was like a mistake from some other
and then it said no your packages delivered
this is it and I'm like I guess this is it then
like you know what I mean like I didn't understand
what the fuck was going on yeah
so I'm gonna walk it down but like I was like
who the
fuck needs this. I was like what
household needs this? Yeah.
I probably would have
you did a good thing by
searching up the address because me
I probably would have just threw it away
well I would just kept it and made some sort of
fucking just figure out something to make it
something to happen to me the other day too
I'm getting all these mysterious packages. I'm getting like
medicine I got like drugs
for some Armenian guy. Of course. That guy's dead.
Yeah yeah he's got no he came.
Oh he actually like which to me
it's like order to the right address my
well if you know it came here like fix it wait did it did it actually say his address uh was it like the
like the apartment number it came to my address but it was addressed to him and it was like with a
prescription all this and I'm like so it was your address and but it had his name yeah and then he came
yeah he showed up he's like you have my meditin wait wait was this like years ago when he
used to live there and never changed probably I got this these drugs a week ago yeah and I'm saying
I've been here a while you think the
guy just never changed the address?
He's just,
he's like,
what a fucking boomer?
I think that's probably true.
He was,
he was old.
He wasn't like shambling,
you know,
he wasn't shambling,
but he was up there.
He's like 60s.
Can't figure out
and change the address.
He's like,
uh,
fuck.
He wasn't a spring chicken,
for sure.
This nigga lives in fucking Nevada.
Yeah.
Like,
fuck,
I gotta.
There's some things that I ever,
I gotta go give my medicine.
There's some things that I know,
like I never changed my address for that I wonder about.
Like,
I remember Dollar Shave used to send me all these like,
you know,
Oh, you're like one of our top sponsor things.
Here's like a, I don't know, weird.
Here's a cake made of shaving cream.
Yeah.
It's going to kill you.
Yeah.
And like I never changed my address for that stuff.
So I wonder if just some random,
some random guy just keeps getting like thank you packages from like sponsors that he has no idea.
Why not?
I mean,
I would,
I would keep it.
I wasn't sure how to change it.
I think I was just like,
yeah,
maybe I'm just not getting it.
I'm sure.
It's way more simple than you.
Well,
you could,
well,
not through that,
like anything that I,
anything that I would do through that company would have been changed
already because they pay me directly.
They would have paid me directly with checks anyway.
So if they had my change address, I assume they would have, you know what I mean?
But I can't be like, hey, you should change my address and the other things because I have a feeling I should be getting a lot of gift packages.
You know what I mean?
Like it just feels like directly is crazy.
It feels like ridiculous.
I'm not getting the gifts.
I'm not getting free things now.
Give it to me.
Give me my gifts.
Give me my free cake in fact.
Speaking of gifts.
Speaking of gifts, we got a gift of seeing the Nintendo Switch 2.
Oh, the new.
Yeah, the Nintendo Direct.
Coming out way sooner, I thought, actually.
Oh, what is it, April?
It was in two months.
Oh, June.
June.
June.
They came on on on Juneteenth.
That would have been cool.
I mean, would it have been?
Yeah.
It's not like they would have.
Nintendo, June 10th?
See, because what would happen is they would not acknowledge Juneteenth and be like,
I don't care about Juneteenth.
It's all about Switch 2.
Yeah.
Well, especially them because it's Japan.
Yeah.
There's no shot they know what June 10.
They think we're still onies.
There's like.
Maybe you think Roney
Yeah, probably
I've been playing a little more
Black of a boy Yokai
I've been playing a little more
Shadows
A.C. Shadows and like
walking around
and then the guys are like
Oh like they actually like
look at you and they start going
Oh
I'm like this is great
It is funny
You're also much bigger than
Everyone
About a foot taller than everyone
On average
That's why like
You have a samurai
It's really funny
That's why it's like
No duh he went there
And terrorized them
he's a LeBron build.
He's a LeBron.
He's an NBA.
Like he's like a, he's one of the, yeah, he's like LeBron, like the type of build that would be more suited for American football.
Yeah.
Went and played basketball.
Well, you know what's crazy about that is like, Yoske's actual canon height in real life.
Do you know what it is actually?
7.8.
He was only 5.7.
But everybody else around him was simply 3.6.
Oh, man.
I'm not sure what I read, but I'm glad you corrected that.
Yeah, yeah.
He's about your height.
He's about your height.
Yoste.
I looked it up exactly two minutes ago.
Yeah.
You are right, though.
I remember actually reading that just about a minute ago after you said.
And then I remember seeing, yeah.
After you said, it hasn't been a minute yet.
What do you mean?
What's happening?
I don't know if you're, I think you're misinterpreting time, actually.
Yeah.
Oh, sorry, my mistake.
Yeah, exactly.
So I found out after, I've looked it up just a minute after he said that.
And I was like, oh, it's very true.
And, yeah, Odunobunaga is three, four.
Oh, he was three four.
He was like, hey, a blackerab.
man. I am very
I am very tiny but actually
not because we're all, this is the average over here
so I'm not tiny. Dude, I know it's like a
dude it is funny
because I'm playing on English because I want to be able to hear it
if I'm like walking out of the room. Right. That's the that's the reason.
But like uh, they do
say brack.
There's a lot. It's like it feels, I understand
that that's just how it is, but it
there's something about the Asian accent that feels
more offensive regardless
than a lot of other accents for some
reason. Yeah. Like speaking Chinese
authentically, like, correctly,
feels offensive.
You know?
Because it's, it's, because it just...
Nietzsche ding ma.
Like, you know?
That felt evil to say.
Especially a Cantonese, man.
I can't do it.
Yeah.
I can't do it.
That shit.
It sounds so disrespectful.
I speak it, like, in the way that you should.
I'm like, I, this doesn't feel right.
Everything else is fine.
Everything is like a spaghetti, you know?
Yeah.
Spaghetti.
I don't go gondi, you know, like, it's everything else.
Everything else feels fine.
But like, I don't know.
I think the thing is because of the fact that Chinese is so phonetically different.
Well, yeah.
It's just not a similar language than anything we have.
Right.
So it just sounds silly to us because we're immature and racist.
Some of it sounds silly.
It's like there's, to me, it's just, it's, man, I watch a lot of 90 Day fiancane stuff.
And a lot of times those loser men go to Southeast Asia.
You want to talk about accents that I'm talking.
I want to be respected.
so I promise you
but damn
like
dude Vietnamese
Thai
some of the Burmanyese or whatever you call it
Not Filipino
Filipino people sound
They pretty much damn
They speak Spanish
Filipinos are fine
No I'm talking about the ones
But like the ones that I just dropped
But like the brown Asians
The brown Asians
Dude they
I'm like holy shit
Oh yeah
And I'm trying to be like
Like I'm like trying to like
Watch him like yeah
But then my stupid brain
Is hearing so wild
sounds and I'm like
mm-hmm
yeah it will sound like a drop of water
it's um
it's
it's a drop of water
you know like a
dude can you do that
you know some people can do that
I can't do that
I don't know how they do it but it's
what
gay
I can't do it
I don't get it
I don't get it at all
what I kind of can
you should be the rest of the
I kind of can, but it's like very low.
Like I can't do it loudly.
Well, I don't need to do that though.
Because I can just, this would be the rest of the show.
I flicking, there's a hard arc comes out clear.
That is.
I finally unlocked it.
You locked it.
But it's like not even your voice.
It's somebody else's voice, clearly.
That's awesome.
Like it's like Nathan Philly and I'm like, oh, it's over.
It's over for Nathan.
It's over for Nathan.
You're done, Nathan.
You were going to be in freaking the Green Lantern movie.
You're,
Fuck now. I'm ruining the whole DCU now.
That was just supposed to be in the Green Lantern movie.
I think it's gonna be Hal. It's too old for Hal.
Hal Jordan? He's too old, but it's still he'd be, whoa.
Shallow Hal?
Yeah, he's it.
Well, no, no, no, no, no. I know. Shallow hell too. Yeah.
Oh, man. You didn't know those.
They already show. Yeah, that's certainly exist.
It will. Actually, that's kind of crazy. It hasn't.
They already showed, um, they already showed Guy Gardner.
And they're going to do a show.
Gay Guy.
And it's gonna, the main card is going to be John, obviously, because he's a,
He's, you know, he's a diversity higher.
So they're going to choose John Stewart.
Hell yeah.
He's going to go up there and he's going to be like,
welcome to the daily show.
I have the Green Lantern.
Elon sucks.
That's the show.
That's the entire television show.
I don't like that.
His name is also John Stewart.
For a long time, I was really confused about that.
I was like.
I was confused in reverse.
I know.
We knew.
I knew a thing about a Jewish man.
I mean, that's how you differentiate.
My confusion was in reverse.
I was, because I knew about John Stewart first before I learned about John Stewart.
The Greenlander.
I wish I had something to throw at you.
If I can't throw this, it would be a disaster.
It'd be hilarious, but it'd be like, really.
It'd be hilarious for our mini.
It'd be like, oh.
That is the beauty about, like, say, a show like jackass where you can do stuff that is unforgivable.
You know, normally like, let me throw a glass bottle at somebody.
That would be like the end of the friendship.
But then it's good content.
Oh, you fucking asshole.
And that's like the, dude, like one guy.
I got a concussion.
Oh, you peeled my rectum off.
Oh.
Do you remember, like, there was a, uh, the, it was like a door.
It was like, uh, you, you press the, the, the thing that would project out and it, like,
concussed the dude.
It was like, poof.
And it was like, he was done.
It was so fucking funny.
You don't get me wrong.
It was so funny.
But I'm like, that is, you literally gave that guy brain dab.
It's crazy.
That's like, um, what is it?
When, uh, when they put like the airbags under these people's chairs.
The popcorning people?
Yeah.
That shit is so funny.
It's so unreasonable.
It's funny.
It was like freezing the air.
You're like,
dude.
That's good.
Yeah,
yeah.
It's like the video that
it's like the bear
falling out of the tree.
Do you see the thing
with Air Cannon
when a guy,
Air Cannon and a guy
and he died minutes later?
Oh,
I did see that.
I do know about this.
What?
He put it under his pants,
right?
Yeah.
So, that's right.
That's right.
What country was that in?
It was like,
I don't know where I saw it.
I remember,
but that was in a foreign country
though.
Yeah,
it was like China.
Probably.
It was at some factory and some guy's like, lull, and he puts like a pressurized air in somebody's pants, blows it.
And the guy just, like, it's really evil.
And then he walks away.
He exploded his colon, man.
It's crazy.
Like, how stupid could you be to think that that wouldn't do something insane?
I guess people don't understand.
People don't understand that.
I mean, to be fair, I wouldn't have thought that that would happen.
either, but I also wouldn't have gambled to do it.
Because my assumption that it, my assumption is that compressed air to that degree would at the very
least like fuck a person's leg up.
You know what I mean?
So like I just would, I just would have would have aired on the side of safety not to do it.
But I, I wouldn't have thought that like if you just put it in somebody's pants, that it
would like blow up their colon and explode them from the inside.
That's kind of wild.
I would also imagine though that if you're working with those kind of tools,
you have a better idea of that kind of thing happening.
If you're around those, you should understand how they understand it.
It's like how when people slash tires thinking like that's not going to hurt them.
Like that's so much PSI there, dude.
Like I saw a guy like machete a tire and then like it blew the machete back in his arm.
And it's just like, you do you not understand air?
Yeah.
When the sign opens the door and he gets like blown back into a wall.
That is very stupid.
And he's like, oh.
And they're like, oh, are you all right.
And it's like, you probably broke a rib of his, dude.
Like you know, you are, you are around.
this. These are people that are around a
pressure. Like they
talk about the like people, I guess
people need to learn about PSIs
because it's, it's
fucking insane. Water, water can
decapitate you. You can cut some
water. Yeah, water pressure, you get like, yeah,
you can cut something with water. I remember seeing
like, uh, cut through metal with water. People fucking
using, uh, to do fine, to do some fine cutting.
Like water graving? Yeah, it would be like
just like a water jet and then it would just be
fine down like, that's
great. I can't stop thinking about this guy.
the factory who's just
biting his own fucking
he's just doing your job and then
your fucking inside explode
you don't even know what
I
like that's why you need
this is morbid but the waste of life
is so funny the idea
the the fragility of like someone
walking around living their life
and then all of a sudden a fucking
rogue baseball domes the back
when they turn their head
and when the back of the head with a bump would be
there's a baseball
and it's like you did nothing
It's just so sudden random and senseless
That's why everybody
You need to wear baseball helmets
You need to wear tight pants
Or a tight belt
To make sure nobody can penetrate
I think the tight pants
Are what did him in though I think
Because I think if he had loose pants
I don't think it would have been a big deal
He didn't just blown
You know
That what you think
I think so I think what happened
It's his pants
For wearing tight pants
I think his pants were tucked into his boots
Because they probably were supposed to be
And they just created a seal
Or like the only wear that the air could have gone
Let's go up
Yeah let's go up into this fucking guy's wrecked
Is that what's happening with the
Do you guys remember those
Those models
The like
Balloon pants
Yeah
I do remember those yeah
I remember I wanted a pair
I almost bought one
But I just couldn't justify the price
I would go everywhere in those
How much they cost?
On average they were about like
It was between like nine and $1,200 or something
And I was like I can't
I just like
even for the joke that like I was even
I was thinking about guys
crowd fund me these bans but I was like
I can't I can't do you go to rollergros or with him
I don't think they'll let me on
I'll be like that one fat kid that fell off
the fucking Supreme scream thing you remember what
what? Oh my god
I saw the video fucking kid yeah we got
some fat fucking kid
unfortunately he was like 14 years old or something
like he was in the fake
supreme scream you know like it just like
yeah yeah the budget one
he couldn't fit and so the
fucking mechanic who was like
I'm going to loosen the fucking thing
so instead of it like seal it'll seal like
up and so he loosened it and then tightened
it so it's like all right now you can go because it won't
actually clamp on you that is so crazy as he's falling
niggas slips out
falls 100 feet and
dies
like there was a fucking
he falls out and lives
I want to
He landed on his feet
And he was like, oh
And then he just went about his day
Went back on the ride
Fat kid falls out of a rehearsal
lands on his feet
He's E.T.
Yeah, you play it.
He's fucking, he's fucking
Wuchickle.
He's Nigel Thornebury for a few plays.
It's smashing.
Smashing.
His,
his,
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
That would be absurd.
I don't know.
It's like terrio.
Like my leg.
Like my leg.
And then it's immediately ragdolls.
He looks like a real...
Like, you put his dimensions in a real person.
And he has a need.
And then he just transforms back.
I love the idea they only catch it, though, after, like,
they review the footage, you know, frame by frame.
So then they're like...
This is by far...
This is by far the stupidest running gag that we have on this show
is that somebody going through...
Through a tragedy of an intense trauma.
dying, usually physics involved.
And for at least one frame of their physical impact,
they resemble damn near a cartoon character.
I love the idea so deeply.
It's so insane.
It's so.
I think I got it from like there was old cartoons.
Like there was a lot of old like flash cartoons where like sometimes like people would
fight each other or whatever.
And like there would be like one frame where they're like Michael Winslow or something.
Something wild.
Some ridiculous.
face.
Oh man.
I'm just so obsessed with it.
E.T.
to me is the one.
That's a great one.
Because I think it makes sense.
It totally makes sense.
Like, his tummy's on the floor.
The Nigel makes no sense at all.
I think he's insane.
This 14-year-old black kid turns into an old British ginger, dude.
I think it's funny.
I think it's funny because it's so morph.
That is how morphed he is.
He doesn't, he doesn't just look at him.
He is him.
The reason is that is Nigel Thorneberg.
The reason I think becoming ET is funny because he is.
because I can visibly see
because his head is flat, you know?
So you could see like the
weight kind of pushing down on his head.
You could see like his body like kind of
flattening out and then his legs are
up in his body. Because he's landed so hard.
It almost makes you think that
whoever designed ET probably saw
somebody fall to their death.
He probably saw that first. And it was like,
holy shit. This is a great idea for a heartwarming
coming of age story. Spilberg
was like, I understand. I understand
the Spielberg did it. Spilberg just watched
the snuff films and people dying all the time
and get all this idea.
Spielberg is me.
He's just me.
He's just me.
I love you, Kingston.
I love you.
It's me.
There's time travel involved and I'm Stephen Spielberg.
And I'm Stephen Spielberg somehow
I somehow go back in time and I'm
Steven Spielberg.
You're Steven Spielberg.
That's crazy.
That's like as stupid as the plot
Terminator.
You go back and then you become this thing
and it wouldn't have happened if you didn't go back.
Oh, it's brilliant.
Oh, I remember the first time I saw that I was like,
I was like, I was by myself, but I'm looking around like,
wait, so Kyle Reese.
Is he the, is this,
he's doing that bit at four years old?
He's got a fucking massive chin.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
You're talking to the studio audience by yourself as a little kid.
You see a parent walk in and you're like a kid.
You're giving a monologue
Walking around your house
You're giving a comedic model
You see this Terminator movie
How can you become the thing
If you don't come back in the first place
How do you become what you don't go back
You go back?
Yeah
You said it like one of the
What is it the greasers from a cat dog
Oh yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I forgot about them
Winslow the mouse
In their fucking door
Or their house
Winslow the oh yeah
The little mouse
He has like suspenders on
Right?
He's got like plaid suspenders
I think if I remember correctly.
He's like, yeah, cat dog.
What are you doing?
Imagine seeing Winslow's suicide attempt
and everything's like tiny.
He's a tiny little chair.
I remember I'm always having his hands in his pockets.
So I like,
like I remember always walking around like this
with his hands in his pockets.
So like I like to envision him like with like hanging by a newsboy with his hands.
He's like so.
How do you react to that actually earnestly?
He doesn't break the bag.
That's awesome.
Hold on earnestly.
How do you react to see like any, any individual?
Like it could be a cartoon character
It could be a person
Whatever I don't give a shit
Like someone's hanging from a noose
Their hands are in their pockets
I'm honest
I like the idea of Johnny Bravo
Doing it because his hands
Is so much bigger than his thighs
In his pockets
Yeah
So he's just
Big bulges in his fucking pants
It would look
It would look almost
Yeah
It would almost look more like
He just kind of
Chat himself profusely
Before he died
His pants would be so full
Full is full
Full of the time
I'm out of here
I can't fucking breathe
I'm showing in death
Bye bye a little later
I can't get no pussy
I'm gone
I think he does get pussy
I think he just pays for it
I think it canonically does
I think we just see him on his off days
Yeah I think so
Somebody who we
Imagine being that horny on an off day
Exactly
That's crazy
That's made by some Filipino guy too
Wait what?
Yeah that show
Johnny Bravo
Say again
He's that shows like a created by a Filipino dude.
Yeah.
Isn't that weird?
Like it seems like a, I mean not to say that like.
Actually, no, it doesn't make sense.
If I know anything about, if I know anything about,
they love Elvis over there.
Yes.
No, they love the karaoke is king.
Yeah.
Show tunes in general is really important in that era of like that area of like that area of
Asia like when you get, when you just descend from China like musical like just singing
and probably those kinds of songs, that kind of styles like right.
Yeah, dude.
That actually like it does make a little.
It makes more sense than anything else we've said recently.
Yeah.
I get that.
Yeah, the little black kid turning into Nigel Thornberry.
It's a pretty outlandish idea.
We can still try to make a connection there somehow.
There's no way in hell that this small black would turn into...
Oh, you never saw the animation that was drawn of the...
There's like a Twitter account that's probably just stealing clips from like YouTube videos or something.
But there's these poor animations describing...
like horrible ways people die.
Oh sure.
It kind of reminds me of a thousand ways to die, but
cheaper. Yeah. And it's
is it those like rotoscoped ones?
I think so. It's like it's like traced
over real footage and it's like showing you
like Chinese accidents. No, I don't think that's right.
Oh, I've seen that. I don't think that's right.
I don't know what it is. I've just seen it before and I remember me like are these real
like they must be. I don't know. I can let me see if I can
find this real fast because it's just funny.
Like it's because it's like oh, this is a real person dying in the way that like
his eyes are wide and like
It's like
It's funny
It's a real person
Of course
Let me see why
You guys make me feel like
I'm so crazy
For laughing at shit like this
Meanwhile you guys are laughing
At the same type of morbid shit
Well we're laughing
Well I think we're clearer about it
I think
You're a little bit more nebulous
What does that mean
Well you seek this stuff out
On Burbis
No I'm not anymore
What does that
Not anymore mean
I don't
Not today
I haven't seen somebody
Dying a little while
What is a little bit
while to you.
Like, I don't know, like, maybe, be like,
let's not be somebody die.
Well, there was this car crash thing I saw that was like insane.
It was a drive-by shooting that led to like them crashing into a building,
then a building collapsing on the car.
And then a guy was getting in his car ahead of time.
All right.
Not answering my question.
When was this?
Two weeks ago.
I said to Derek, actually.
So within the month.
I said to Derek.
You know what?
Yeah.
When a guy with a drive-by shooting that led to the building collapsing on a car?
Oh, yeah, that was crazy.
and some guy was just in his car trying to leave
and he got caught up into it too
It's like what the fuck
That's the worst shit
I'm like oh they're done
Sometimes you try to do good
You just try to live your life
You do good things
Sometimes it's worth being bad
Exactly
I think it is worth being kind of bad sometimes
I almost feel that way now
Not evil but like just kind of
Like don't be great
Because this is what happens
Look what like
Look what evil is
I'm in a Cecil headspace
I think
Cecil?
Yeah
Yeah I mean
I'm kind of
I've teetered that way
for quite some time.
Yeah.
I was much hard for power
to be optimistic.
I was optimistic.
God beat.
It's almost like a repeat.
Like 20, 10, 2011,
Arab Spring happens.
And then I'm watching similar things
what happened.
What was that?
What is that?
Yeah.
Arabs.
Holy.
It's a stupid joke.
It's not really.
It's actually a pretty good joke.
It's just like, it's just like,
it's just funny because of the subject.
The flowers are so wildly different.
I wish the Arab Spring was like White Boy Summer.
Yeah.
But like I just, I went through this already.
What a bunch of Jinz years are going through right now with like the Palestinians and shit.
Oh, shit.
Like I went through fucking post like long winded fucking Iraq and Afghanistan and then just seen the Arab Spring and seeing a bunch of horrible shit happening destabilization, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like, yeah, I'm so.
I want to be Seesil right now, dude.
I just want to do like calculated.
I would kick ass to Cecil.
I do a better job than Cecil, I think.
Cecil still a little bit has has still a little bit of that a kernel of his old self in him.
Yeah.
Just a kernel of it that I'm like, I'm at the point where I'm like, get rid of it.
Yeah.
Do you do like I would use, I would have tried to use invincible as like a weapon to absolutely crush everything that threatens America.
Brother, I would have, the second I found out that Nolan had a son, that device that's in his head, that would have been in there like day one.
I would have killed.
That would have been there on the day of the circumcision.
I would have killed him.
Oh, you think he's circumcised?
Well, I don't know.
I would have killed him.
Theoretically.
No, he's Asian.
He's probably not.
Oh, probably not.
I would have killed him.
I don't know.
I mean, I'm Catholic.
So they did it to me.
So I don't even really know where it comes from.
I'm going to say they ripped it off clean from it.
A lot of, uh, they ripped that like a napkin.
the handful of um
the handful of uh i don't know about that because because i guess in
i don't know culturally what they feel about that's usually uh people are cut so yeah i don't know
how to because hmm i guess we got to ask our Asian audience yeah any Asian in the audience
do you got your foreskin still cut or and cut let us know yeah right into our weekly
newsletter speaking to speaking to Asians let's get back to the switch
because we're fucking we've been fine we straight so far yeah i don't know there's a fucking
Mario Car game. It's like vaguely open the world.
There's a Donkey Kong game. I don't know, man.
I was so, I was so bored the entire
because I was waiting for like something weird to be
there, you know what I mean? I was waiting for like, oh,
Gears Collection. You're waiting for Reggie to come back?
No, like, yeah, Reggie is like... Sucking
off the fucking, like the console itself?
I'm about to bust.
Reggie goes back and he's like, these niggas have been wilding.
I got to get back to playing Animal Crossing
New Leaf on my Nintendo Switch.
Yes. Yes. I can unhingege my jaw
like a snake. I
just puts a whole stick to his mouth. I can unhingege
my jaw and fold it completely
backwards, much like Pac-Man
upon death.
And he also does the little
spiral too. I also spin and vanish.
My family thinks it's terrifying
and strange, but I think
it's just the way I am.
Dude, dumbing
fucking those
would be actually really
fun. Dude, my favorite thing about
those is like how cheery the Nintendo
the lady is. Yeah.
In the Nintendo Direct, regardless of what it is she's talking about.
Yeah, it's like, you know this gag on sacred symbols where it's like,
um,
carry your dying daughter through a horde of the undead in, you know,
The Last of Us,
part one coming to Nintendo Switch.
Encur the infinite wrath of a mad machine and I have no mouth,
but I must scream coming soon to switch.
Damn, bars.
Incur the wrath of a mad machine.
They're always so.
cheery about it. It is pretty good.
Oscar Schindler's added again.
It's what?
How many Jews can you save
in Schindler's List 2?
Coming to Switch. That sounds
dope. What would the secondary title be a Schindler's List 2?
It would just be Schindler's List.
It would be Shindler's Lists.
Yeah, Shindler's List. It's like aliens.
Schindler's lists.
Schindler's lists.
So the games,
the game, the consoles,
what, $600 for us, $6.50 for us?
Yeah, $599.
That's right.
Oh, it's $599, right?
I think it would.
Let me look it up.
Excuse me?
Let me fact check.
I could be wrong.
I think it's $4.99, though.
I hope it's $4.99.
Because I can't fucking imagine $5.99 is like, I, if that's what I'm, no, I was
already.
$4.99 is what I expect.
It's still, like, expensive.
It's annoying, but I guess that's, well, it's, it's a price that is what we're
playing for it as well.
I just.
Oh, yeah, the fucking screen share.
They showed like a screen share feature on like their game
chat and it was like running at like
10 frames a second
like in the in the promotional so I guess
props to them for not lying I guess because they
could have just like they could have easily
they could have fake it yeah they don't have to why
why would Nintendo lie they don't have to
that is a very good point I'm saying they could have
they the fact that people
like it behooves them to you dumb idiots
are going to buy it regardless
this name runs at
one frame per second
that's insane
that's a slide show
That's just like
And then people just
Oh what do I pre-order?
Oh,
I can't wait to get the new
Pokemon for $89
Great
Mario Kart World
Coming soon to PowerPoint
Yeah, these floppiness too
I don't know
God damn it
Price
Yeah let me see
The deluxe edition of Mario Kart
For $400
That's it
Why can't I see
That's all only four
Oh
What the fuck?
I guess I'll just look up the Nintendo.
Oh, but this wallet.
Erri!
Erries!
God of war coming to the Nintendo Switch.
Play as a nigger.
That's not really a nigger.
The fact that it's difficult to find is hilarious because it shows that they just
don't want it to be easily found necessarily.
You just Google it.
Google ain't fucking reliable no more, man.
Google sucks now.
That's chat TVT then.
Fuck.
Oh yeah
I wonder if it'll know
Chat Gpti
Jit my
Let me let me ask
Hold on
Hey chat GPT
The Nintendo Direct was today
And they unveiled the Switch 2
How much is the Switch 2
I forgot
Shut up nita
Have you heard of Jitler
I didn't even fucking
Oh that was voice chat
That was stupid
Oh sick
Yo
What's up chat
So
The
The Nintendo director is today, I can't remember how much the Switch 2 costs.
Can you let me know?
Please.
I'm so scared.
I love you.
You didn't say I love you.
I forgot to say I love you.
You don't love me, so no.
So it was officially announced the, okay, so four, wait, so the base model is price.
It does know.
It's awesome.
The base model is priced at $449 and there's a bundle for $499.
So.
Oh, where's the bundle come with?
I don't know, probably come, probably a Mario Kart.
The most interesting thing about it to me was like,
mouse controls because like this would it doubles as a mouse which is cool I like that that's neat but like
I don't really you know who cares you know um how did it talk about its uh capabilities of like
graphic graphic graphic graphic capabilities they can go to 120 frames though and go to 120 frames
and handheld I know handheld uh 20 frames and stock dock they can go 60 frames yeah but how crazy you know
it's it's you said 120 do
Yeah.
So if I play on my big ice team, you think I'm going to get $120?
Maybe.
I mean, look, I don't know.
They said it could do it.
I like the word could.
It probably took up the entire street.
My favorite thing about it is that could in here.
So like, I don't know, man.
Nothing grabbed me.
I wanted some weird news.
Like I wanted Marcus Phoenix to show up.
Be like, oh, the gears collection is coming.
It's just like, oh, shit, that's dope.
I'm going to kill all of you.
Oh, then race is going to be on air.
Yeah.
There's a new Frommsoft game coming to it.
exclusively.
What,
Firm soft?
Yeah,
I think so.
Really?
Yeah,
it's called like
Dusk Bloods or something.
But,
uh,
I couldn't care less.
Is it a Souls like?
Get this.
Yeah.
Yeah,
no,
I don't know.
Like,
I'm not gonna buy a fucking
switch two for a fucking
from song game.
I could give a fuck about that.
Um,
really.
I don't.
But,
I'm in the middle of it.
I'm like,
probably,
the thing is if I buy it,
I'm not gonna use it enough.
That's the thing.
That's why I'm like,
it's a waste of time and money.
Yeah,
Is all the new shit gonna come out for the OLED switch?
Mm-hmm.
So what the fuck?
Who cares?
Well, the thing about it too is that like,
they've just got Eldon Ring, right?
You know?
It's gonna take them, like, this isn't like modern hardware really.
Yeah.
You know?
So whatever, it's fine.
The games are expensive.
That's the point where I'm like, this is expensive.
Well, Mario Kart was expensive.
But it's like, clearly they must be testing the waters.
See how it sells, right?
Yeah, for sure.
They're definitely being like, well, this fuck,
everything? Well, I don't know about them actually because they don't
care really. That's true. They could sell you
fucking, they could, they could, they could, they
could, they could, they could, they could, they could, they could, they could
done it for like a hundred. Yeah, probably. It's a bag of dirt cart 64.
It's, it's 64 because it's, uh, it's worth, it's worth, uh, it's worth.
the gameplay. Travel at a max speed of crash team racing on easy in the new
Mario cart world.
Mario cart world. I think the game, it just, I don't know. I, I kind of, I'm in
between. I see like the idea of like the operative. I see like the
Uprise versions of the games, but I already beat those games.
I don't need to get the uprise version of like...
Oh, did you see that some Switch games won't be compatible to?
Did you see that?
No way, I heard they were all compatible.
No, that it says...
They said there are three types of Switch to games.
Switch two games.
Switch two compatible games.
And then Switch to Addition games.
So not every...
It seems to me like that's a weird thing to...
That's weird.
Yeah, what is that?
You would say up front as a selling point, obviously, that this is backwards compatible.
I think they did say that.
They did not say that.
They specified switch to compatible games.
There's no reason to say that.
Some of them that will have some resale value will be the switch to additions.
Right, exactly.
They're going to double-div.
They're going to be like, this can run at pin frames more and still look worse than PS5.
But yeah, you know, get on in there.
That is delicious.
You're not getting it for the, you're not getting it for the.
And Metroid Prime is coming to both of them, so who cares?
You're not getting it for the strength of it.
Like for me, like I use my, I can play my
PS5 on my Steam deck.
Right.
So for me, I'm like, I don't really need, I don't need
Precisely.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't, I'm not, I don't understand
when they do stuff like that.
It was like a, uh, uh, Ragnarock.
Uh, I would have had to buy a PS5 if it was inclusive to PS5.
Well, I played it on my fucking PSP world.
They did it for, they did that because of the fact that people couldn't grab
the PS5.
No.
I thought at that point it was out of the weeds.
Well, no, what they,
I remember.
The reason they did that.
And this is.
is just based on like what I,
what I've been able to piece together.
Sure.
From,
uh,
data and stuff is that there are simply so many PS4s
in the wilderness,
like out there in use still to this day.
Dude,
people are still,
there's a still,
there's still a healthy population playing the fucking last of us multiplayer
on PS3.
So like people on PS4 are still playing.
Yeah.
And so they're like,
fuck,
that's a lot of money we're leaving on the table.
Also,
game development's expensive as fuck now.
Like we can't really get away with spending hundreds of millions of dollars on a game that isn't going to be available to our widest audience possible.
So that's what's happening.
Around that time, were people still struggling to get PS5s when it came out?
With Ragged Rock?
That was maybe like a year or two that that lasted.
Okay.
Because this is, I guess my only...
We're still getting cross-gen stuff.
We're still getting shit that comes to PS-R.
for. It's crazy. It is kind of, that's, it's interesting to me that there, well, this was my
argument, I guess it's not even, because it's still a good thing. It was good, it was a great thing for me.
I only had to buy the game, right? Yeah. But what I'm saying is how many people are out there just like
me that absolutely would have, it wouldn't have been a question. It's like, well, I'm not going to not
play the game. It, it would have been a lot, but it wouldn't have been. You don't think it would
have been $150 million the first second. Like it, like exists.
on PS4, you know what I mean? Like, that's what it is
ultimately. It's just like there's so many people there are still
active all the time using
this thing. Sure. Why or like
why? I wonder. If I was a business person, I would
have tried to gamble and be like, no, these
consumers, if it was exclusive, they would have saved their money
to upgrade their console and buy
the new fucking game. It wouldn't have been as many as
you got the people have. But just how many
hundreds is that it's like, so let's
let's extract all the people that had
the PS4s and now it's
times it by the fucking what
$600 they essentially just
like the one person paid I feel like
it could I would have been
a gambling man I would have gambled on that
I think that's why you don't have a corporation
and then I would have got a business man and then the board
would have kicked me out it would have
had you killed I think I would have
thought the same thing where it's just like well dude
you have a new machine don't you want people to feel like
they have something on the new machine that they you know what I mean
don't you want to draw to it don't you want people to feel like they're getting
something
It makes sense to me.
It makes sense.
I understand that,
but it's also like an old world mentality.
Yeah.
Like we're in a different world now
where it's just like
these consoles are sticking around
longer and longer.
They like are used in different ways.
Yeah.
And budgets are fucking crazy.
Yeah,
I'm not a...
Like, Grand The Thought 06,
easily over a billion dollars to make.
That's great.
Easily.
Yeah.
I'm not even,
it's not even a question.
Which is...
I mean, the crazy thing is...
And that's gonna be exclusive,
actually.
Yeah, that is...
Which is actually crazy.
But the thing that's...
Uh,
no to a modern like current gen so like it's not coming to PS4 I don't think oh too bad I couldn't
imagine too bad it's it's at this point it's I can't care it's it's fine I feel like it's fine
it's the cycle it's been it's been enough years to where I'm tired of poor people succeeding
when they're poor like I'm done that's crazy I'm sick of that but yeah I mean the whole devil's
advocate thing aside like it's it's it's it's cool that they still do that like come on like
yeah it's um it's not I don't think it's necessary uh because I I said at this
this point, I feel like as a consumer, I don't, I sure everybody has the right to complain,
but I feel, I would feel silly complaining at this late in the, in the, in the, in the cycle.
Right.
Where it's like, okay, it's been out for like five years now, um, or just about.
And so if they're going to start putting some like big exclusive things on just these,
I mean, you can't even call it, you can't even really call it new gen anymore, right?
Yeah, it's current.
Yeah. So. But, uh, yeah, man, it's just, it's, it's just, it's expensive.
Especially to make games now
It's fucking ridiculous
That's the big
And you used to be able to like
Yeah
Used to be able to make
You used to be able to like make an exclusive
Or like make like okay
This is next gen only
And you get your money back pretty quick
You know
You'd make less
If you didn't make it for both
For sure
It's like Tony Hawk
You know what I mean
Even back then they were doing that
Like oh here's Tony Hark
Pro Skator 3 for PS1 and PS2
Yeah that's great
You know what I mean
They were still doing that
A little bit
Because they were like
Let's get as much as we can
But now it's like
You gotta really have it made
You gotta be
Rockstar or like
from soft or something
you know to
how fast do you think
how fast do you think
Rockstar will make back their money
I think immediately
yeah I think I think
I think within that first week
they'll have recoup their budget
that's well like
on micro transactions alone
you think on micro transactions within the first week
yeah okay
that's crazy within the first week
interesting I think they'll make
dude they make so much
I don't they make up
it's ridiculous I just didn't I didn't think like
I didn't consider, I guess I'm not a micro-transaction guy, so I'm not considering like, oh, I can't wait to get in the game and buy something immediately.
But that's probably the people.
I think they will sell.
That's ludicrous to me.
Yeah, we're not those people, though.
I think that'll sell 15 million in the first week.
15 million.
I think that's safe.
Yeah.
I think it'll save.
Maybe even in fucking day one.
I think it's going to be so stupid.
I think we generally can't fathom how insane it's going to sell because.
no matter where I go on the internet,
there's a stupid GTA6 joke
that people,
it's always on their fucking minds.
Yeah,
yeah, yeah.
I'm excited.
Like,
we don't have these moments often.
No.
You know what I mean?
No.
Like, it's kind of like half like three
finally coming out.
It's just like I don't even,
I wouldn't necessarily even care.
But like,
whoa.
You know,
that's like a big deal.
That would be cool.
Like,
yeah,
like holy shit.
I'm getting that game.
Like I,
like for me that game is very much still going to live and die
based on how good the storytelling is.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah.
That's how it's for me.
A lot of people are just going to play that game
and play that game.
For sure, yeah.
It's here,
let's play it.
I might even.
I'm going to,
I'm going to get it
because not only do I like it,
Lily loves that game as well too.
So I'm going to get it for her.
And then it's going to be hilarious
seeing what the fuck happens.
Because the storytelling is like up to par
from what modern rock star is.
That's going to be insane.
It'll be cool.
Yeah,
I just hope that.
Do I think it is?
I don't know if the story of,
I don't know GTA's exactly allows the same kind of storytelling
as Red Dead.
It's definitely different.
It's character wise.
but we'll see.
I'm whole,
I'm very,
I'm actually optimistic.
I'm like,
I probably,
they've never really tried
because it like,
it's just,
it's,
it's because of the,
the tones of the games are,
it's supposed to be like,
right,
like,
with,
with Red Dead,
it's,
it has a serious tone to it.
Like,
the story,
you,
it's kind of like,
uh,
we don't,
it's,
it's like how the way Scorsese sees films is
what I'm saying.
There are certain genres that are never respected in a way that,
like,
it may be a fucking
unanimously everyone loves this shit
but it's never going to be like
respected as that's a great compelling story
if you know what I mean.
I feel like that's what's like
there's what's going to happen
extensively good movie
it's like a lot of people feel about animation
you know what I mean
or it's like for some reason
people like it's like
it's an animated movie
it doesn't count for like
it's just crazy
and I'm like that's what I feel like
that's what's going to happen
with GTA 6 even if the story
is pretty fucking good
being like yeah it's like
yeah it's going to be like
this is a contemporary
this is like a modern day
third person
and shooter who cares.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It doesn't have like cowboy hats.
It doesn't have cowboy hats.
I mean, I honestly like, dude, like, I don't know.
I think about Red Dead One.
I don't know what the fuck.
I don't know what the point.
There's no like iconic.
Oh, there's a woman now.
Yeah.
Oh.
I think I, I think people overstate Red Dead One as being like,
because Red Dead One is fucking wacky.
Like, it is more grounded than like, you know,
GTA is by a mile.
But I think it's more like GTA 4 than anything else.
It's like it's grounded and still like,
I mean, it's the fuck is you.
Like,
that snake oil salesman is so stupid.
There's some.
That's the dumbest character I've ever seen.
I love that guy.
Yeah,
no,
I know.
Full of wacky shit.
But it's less silly.
I don't know if I agree really.
Two is very silly.
Well,
I mean,
you can do silly shit in it.
It's,
I think the fucking.
There's silly characters in it?
There's silly characters in it.
To the extent that they were in Red Dead One way.
There's a fucking vampire in a back of a building.
No,
that's an Easter egg.
Well,
I mean,
I mean,
I mean,
I mean,
people you interact with who you do missions for.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I can't.
There's nothing popping out of my head like, but even when it comes to Red Dead
One, like that's like you said, like that, the snake old guy, like I think he's funny.
He's good.
He's good comedy relief.
Yeah.
I mean, they're all like that though.
Like a lot of the characters are just like, ooh.
Like what's going?
I feel like.
I wouldn't feel like.
I think there's more.
Southern Texas is just the dumbest people alive.
Probably why it's like very a lot of, you have a lot of stupid interactions.
But it's, you know, this tone is very serious
The Pinkertins are fucking, or the agents
Who are like, blah, fucking Bill
fucking shoots you and shit immediately.
Like the tone's all, you know, it's all like,
it's, I remember at least the,
Because I really, when I, the funny thing I think about it,
I've only played Redid Redid Red Dead 2 twice.
Yeah.
It's kind of funny when I think about it.
That sounds right.
That's a lot of place on.
Redemption too.
I just got the San Deneas again.
And I'm like, all right, I'm not.
Like you St. Dennis.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
It's actually, it's finally at the point
the game where the game is entirely open me, I can do whatever I want.
Uh-huh.
And I'm like, I'm just fucking, I'm a monster.
I'm killing horses in the street.
I'm blowing women's heads off.
Like, I'm just, I'm a god in this world.
It's what you do.
Do you do?
As one should.
As one should.
As is customary.
I, um, real quick, I, uh, I went a little bit forward with the AC Shadows again.
Oh, yeah.
And I know we mentioned this briefly on the other episode or the previous one, but I really
am convinced that they did something wrong
with the way that shit's
like the linear because again
I'm pretty
I'm deeper into the game now
not much deeper because I'm still doing way too much side shit
trying to upgrade my shit
but I had another
I had a Yaske flashback
and then you're learning how to become a samurai
and then I'm doing these like
it almost feels like a tutorial
again because I'm fighting with
you know just like the sticks like instead of
it's not steel, but it feels like I'm like, why am I doing, I'm doing, like, I've done this.
Like I know, it's weird.
It feels I'm confused.
I feel like this has to.
It's so weird.
It's weird specifically because it's like, okay, look, you can do flashbacks.
Right.
Of course.
But then don't like teach me how to fight.
Yeah.
Or do things in the game.
Like show me like a, I don't know, a narrative thing.
Yeah.
That's important.
And then I'm able to do all the stuff that I normally.
able to do. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's, it's very weird that they tutorialize so much in
those specific story flashbacks when you're gonna, you're gonna come across them like 30 hours, 40 hours,
50 hours in. Right. It's very bizarre. Dude, within that flashback, this is when you finally
like become a samurai, right? Like, or like, he's like, all right, you're a samurai. What should we
call you? Uh, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
not a spoiler. This is, yeah, like, bullshit. But, but, like, but,
like I'm fighting them without any of the stuff that I've obtained in the game and it feels so
the flashback stupid and I'm like I am too deep into this game I'm probably like 20 hours deeper
something granted again I've been doing a lot of side stuff but I'm like it just feels
impossibly wrong like it almost feels like I'm like this they you they definitely
restructured the shit out of it I think I said that in the last episode too like they definitely
like edited this somehow why is the question
Like
You know what it is actually
Now that I think about it
I think they probably
Again this is all budgets
But like I think it's like
They made a bunch of stuff
And then they realize like
We can't start the game this way
We should start it here
And they find a better starting point
And then they were like
Oh but we made all that stuff
Like everything that we made
Like all those levels
That's like millions and millions of dollars
We can't wait just
Yeah we can't just throw it away
It's like you can't
It's like fucking rag now
Rock with the fucking garden where you're picking
paints and shit. Yeah, where you want to kill yourself?
Yeah. Any sane person would have cut that.
Any sane human
being would have been like, this is long,
not interesting.
Make this, just take this
sequence and gameplay and make it a cutscene or something.
Yes. Quibular montage.
But they were like, look at, we spent so much
money on this environment.
I'm convinced that that's the reason like there's a lot
of that stuff in games now.
I think you're right. Because it's just like there's too much budget to
goes into it. We can't throw it away.
it used to be like
dude it's so funny when you
when you go
there's so much information
about things in older games
that were completely cut
you know like entire modes
entire characters
entire like rigs
weapons systems
they cut sprint and like melee
combos from Halo 2
like all that stuff
and you could see it
you know
I defy you to find
any information
about anything that has been cut
from a game in the last five to ten years.
I'm not even kidding.
Where is it?
I haven't seen a video about it.
I haven't seen an essay about it.
I haven't seen...
I know there's content cut from Baldosgate 3.
Like what?
Like a bunch of dialogue content.
What do you mean?
Like voice recordings?
Like whole lines and like admissions.
It's like that cut from the game.
That's a big ass game too.
Yeah.
Yeah, there was way more.
I can at least the lines can make some sense to me because I know I know we're supposed to have more of a story than he did.
Oh.
Because we'll have like more of a more of a more story.
Supposed to or.
supposed to or did and they couldn't get it working or get it pacing right and then they just
and they just cut it away because it's one thing to have things planned it's nothing to make
it like dude their entire levels in hale too that are made and then they're just like no we don't
got time to figure it out in this day they're like make it a fucking i don't know shoehorn it some
way throw it in there you ever saw you ever saw the uh thing where carlock how she can read minds
and she ends up reading your character's mind and realize your character is being played by a person
and she's like what the fuck is going on europe god
in there. No, I didn't see that. It's like some super
meta. Yeah, she's like, I'm like, can you stop, bitch? I'm
I feel really uncomfortable. That's funny. Stop talking directly
to me. It's making me upset. Yeah, you're breaking the
immersion, bitch, stop. I don't want to, I don't want to
marry you anymore if you're fucking charred. Is that a razor
headphone? What is that? Can you imagine?
Dude, that, um, it's like a psychomantis.
I was just thinking of that, yeah. But yeah,
dude, as like, one thing, you know,
I think artists, we all kind of learn this
the hard way is when you find, you finally like kind of level up
when you learn how to scrap things,
even things that you've put countless amount of hours into.
When you're like, at a certain point, you're like,
this is just not working out.
And then you just abandon it.
Maybe you can come back to it at some point
and have it be something,
but it's just when I started seeing a lot of bands back in the day,
when you would see their B-sides of,
oh, here's, we wrote 20 songs,
and then we just chose like 10.
And you're like, holy shit, dude,
there's literally just as many.
songs that a lot of times
never see the light of day and you just
have to be content with that. We're like... That's all of untitled
fucking Kendrick Lamar's untitle album. That's a whole
B-sides in a butterfly. Right. That is in fact
better than most people's entire discography's and it's like,
this guy cut a B-side better than anything
you've made. It's interesting and that's all
like, yeah, and same thing.
The gaming industry, things work out. We're like, fuck, we spend
all this time and effort and money onto this, but sometimes
it just doesn't work. And sometimes it feels
unfair. Like, I remember like certain
actors, uh, even being a part of
like the background acting stuff you're like
oh oh they cut out this entire
thing I'm not even in the shit anymore like that sucks
well I got paid so whatever at least I got fucking paid I guess
but like at the end of the day
that's just how it is and clearly
it's really killing
the game for me shadows
it's um I just don't under that
the idea of a flashback while like
the idea of learning from a flashback when
you're already done it is really insane
it's just like doing things yeah it
goes like it should have been in the beginning
it should have been in the beginning all this stuff and then and then
also the only thing I can say to counter but also not is that okay you don't have to do that
stuff you could just kind of like do the stuff more in a more linear way but also to me that defeats
the purpose of an RPG where like I want to wander and just stumble upon stuff like I'm doing
and then I've stumbled upon something the cutscene was cool until they started making me do shit
that I didn't want to do and I'm like oh my god how to climb it's like I had a fucking like
limited amount of time to play and I wasted all this time first of all finding learning
finding things following the knowledge points which dude okay so I finally leveled up my knowledge
which you take you had to find five of those little things to do which was tedious as shit
now to get to the level three I got to find 10 of them and I was just like oh my god so essentially
what's going to happen is I'm I'm gonna not upgrade all my stuff because it's too tedious to and I
couldn't even find a trainer to like cheat I was trying to find a trainer because I just want to
unlock my, you know how like say a lot of times it'll be level gated.
Reach level this and then it unlocks.
If it was that, it would be fine because then I'd just be grinding.
Like, oh, grind a level 20 and then it's going to unlock this knowledge points.
No, you have to go out of your way to either find these lost scrolls and then they're hidden in stupid little areas.
Oh, one's behind this thing and I'm like, one's on the roof.
So you have to use now way.
So I got to switch.
At least you can switch on the fly.
Oh, they put on a game on a fly.
I will because I remember being like, fuck, once you beat the first.
act, then you can just switch them out, load them out, and you'll be in the exact,
it's actually more convenient than GTA 5 because you'll load out in the same place,
which is stupid.
I'm supposed to on a pier somewhere.
Yeah, you'll be fucking forever.
You're like, God damn it, I'm so far away from where I wanted to be.
But like, it's cool that I feel like that was a decision they made because, like, people
are going to kill us if we don't do that.
And so it is, but it is still tedious where I'm like, can you just not play as you
got to get a whole game?
Um, you can, I imagine.
to further the axe, probably not.
But I think that you can probably,
it'll probably be like GTA where you further somebody's story
as much as you can until you're forced to switch.
I just never played it in the off.
Like every time I can switch is off.
I get like the, you know, when people say the,
the contrast, the, the, the, that bothered them a lot.
It is bothersome when you just want to do something
on the fly real quick. Like, oh, I want to grab something
real fast. I'm like, oh, fuck, I have to like switch now.
It's kind of just a little of annoying because you only need to switch
for a very specific thing.
Yeah, it's like really specific.
Oh, she, he can't climb this?
Yeah.
So that I'm like, I'm just like, why can't Yoske use a hook?
Why can't he grapple?
Like, I know he's a big man, but he's strong and muscular.
That's how they kind of box themselves into a corner with that one.
Yeah, they did.
They were like, if the second we give him the hook, it's, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like, it's just the whole premise goes out.
Have you tried to eagle dive with Yoske?
That shit is so fucking funny, dude.
It is.
It's funny like the first time.
And then like the second time, it's funny.
And the third time, it's amusing.
So far, I've only done it three times and he said something different each time.
I wonder how many lines he has.
Yeah.
And he was just, it kind of struck me as like, this is cute.
But like, yeah.
It was more the, eagle died with, I think after the first time you're doing it, he's like, hey, I'm not, I'm really not able to do that.
I'm a giant man that's going to explode the haystack.
It would be kind of funny if they disallowed you to do it after a while.
That would have been interesting.
The anime stuff sucks.
It's like, I have.
have only ran into, what was it?
It's barely there.
So why is it?
Well, you know?
I've made that argument for so long.
I'm like, dude, at this point,
because I know there's people that like it.
Yeah.
And I think at this point, I think, I'm gonna be honest.
The original, dude, I don't know,
the original test of you story got so fucked up the second.
Like, they fucked it up entirely within,
and I think, in the brotherhood, I think, they ruined it.
They killed him.
So basically.
Doesn't Desmond die?
No, well, that's the end of three.
Later, yeah.
Spoiler alert for Desmond Miles,
everybody's favorite hero.
So, no, so like, in Assassin's Creed, too, they basically, like, have this weird plot point moment where, like, Desmond gets mind controlled and kills, like, a friend of it.
And at first, you're like, oh, weird.
That didn't seem telegraphed at all.
I wonder if they'll pay that off.
They don't.
And I found out only, like, the last couple.
Only in the last, like, week that I find this out because Alana Pierce made a video about it because she was, like, obsessed with the original Assassin's Creed story.
Was that, like, they killed her character because she just, she wanted to be paid.
royalties. That's right. That's right. I forgot about that. Yeah. So that, uh, so then they just
killed her character. They're like, no, to avoid paying her. Um, and then it completely
like it, it just, no, it now it just doesn't make sense. Wait, what do you wait? I'm sorry. She played
a character in Assassin's Casasquez. No, Alana. Then what happened? She's our age. That's how I'm
confused. She made a video. She made a video about it. Oh. I'm confused. I'm like, it was a real
reasonable. I'm like, they killed her character. I'm like, wait, what? They killed. They killed.
this character
that was like
the whole point
was that she was like
an undercover assassin
working for obsterego
or whatever the fuck
and then she breaks you out
and then because
because she wanted
money for royalties or whatever
they were like
actually she's
an undercover
Templar
Killer
killer
So she just becomes a temple
there's nothing to set that up at all
it also doesn't make sense
because why the fuck
would you break somebody out
of your own like it make it none of it makes
sense they just did it for money
like literally just for money
and then they were like ah fuck it whatever
we gotta annualize this
oh shit we can't stick with this sci-fi thing
I was so excited about the original Assassin's Creed
like trajectory too
because I thought it was leading up to like
a modern day kind of thing
you know what I mean like watchdogs or something
but like Assassin's Creed
I think that was the plan
and like it just never happened
that definitely seemed like it was the plan
weren't they in the future though
well no they were
I mean it was just like a dystopic modern
it was like that's the
doesn't it's been in the
It was like modern day, but it was just like dystopic
kind of. It was like contemporary.
Yeah. So it was like 2008 around that time.
And then isn't, wasn't Desmond?
This is when it had the aliens still, right?
The other aliens, not the, um, the idea
Not the, not the, the idea was that they had gods or something.
It was like, like, it tied into Adam and Eve and all this stuff.
Neflem shit, you know?
Yeah.
Because initially wasn't it like, didn't the people that put you into animus
in the first?
They weren't they like a set of aliens themselves?
No.
No.
No, they were just, they were just Templars.
They were just, or observe.
video essay of somebody theorizing that or something.
I'm confused. I remember hearing that somewhere.
And then eventually it's like
these actual aliens straight up, like after
they get to like black flag
and so they're straight up just like alien. Oh, I don't know about
I don't know anything post three to be like
No, they're just straight back no because
after three
they really abandon
anything within the story itself
they really stopped exploring
like deep into the animus
like four. They're still
doing some stuff like you're first person controlled
and then you're still doing a few things
oh good this and you do a little bit of wandering
around the office and stuff like that
there's little tidbits here and there
and that's the last of it really having anything
but it was so inconsequential
I don't even remember most of it
because I just
it took such a back seat
it didn't even matter anymore
all it did at this point was just immersion breaking
at that point it was like
it was like guys you either need to
do it like it was with Desmond
or just don't do it at all
yeah and so then who because they do all of
Because even when you start off the Nuest One Shadows,
they show all those other stories.
How do they connect to each other?
Whatever.
Well, it's just like, what do you mean?
Like, how do the stories connect?
Yeah.
Well, it's not about, it's not necessarily about them connecting.
It's there are, because you know, the idea of the animus is,
the ancestor and pulling, you know, through the DNA, their memories.
It could have been different people.
They're extracting.
Well, so there's people going in the animus that are,
and then through their memories, they're extracting data.
They're extracting artifacts.
They want to find the stuff, right?
Right? That's essentially what has been the entire point of, you know, gaining power, this knowledge, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So I thought the point was that like it was, it was one person and like, that was different variations of their family thought history.
You thought it was one person? What do you mean?
Because I'm still kind of attached to the idea of Desmond, right? So they kept going back in Desmond's.
No, the whole upstergo has many people inanimateous.
There you go. That's what I thought Desmond was a particular case.
Whereas like in your blood, they're able to find all these things.
big like, you know, he was kind of, well, he was, he was, he was the, he was the catalyst in that story until he died.
And then so then he just get killed on some random bullshit.
No, well, well, I mean, I don't know how random it is, but it was.
I mean, it's not random in the sense of the story.
It's, it's random for the buildup that they were going for.
Yeah.
He was ever become assassin himself?
No.
Well, that's kind of, that's, almost got there and he did it.
Yeah.
He almost does and then he dies, which is so crazy because he spent like three, no, five games up until that point.
if you count Brotherhood and Revelations.
Like learning how to become an assassin.
Like he's doing all the parkour stuff.
Yeah,
like it's a point.
I remember,
he's retaining.
It's a point I think in the game that it's unusual
that he's like retaining abilities outside of,
like he has Eagle Vision and shit.
Like it's not normal.
Yeah.
And it's just like,
oh,
so you're kind of like a special case.
I remember that because I remember like seeing the part of seen the
like mission where he dies.
He's like doing stuff to get there.
And then he dies.
And I'm like,
oh,
yeah.
I think he like,
he sacrifices himself for like,
humanity or something.
Yeah.
But then like it turns out it's like, oh, the God was tricking him or something.
So it's just like, oh, great.
It's always, yeah, it's, it's been like that.
Great.
Awesome.
It's supposed to be like a whole like, you know, thriller thing, thing, thing.
Like it, it was interesting until, like, once Desmond ended, I personally couldn't care less about the animus anymore, upstergo.
I just want, like, let's just, I just like, I know that's the point of it is still that baked into it.
Kind of like even with Odyssey where they still had a little bit of that, like, um, they did it in a way that.
it was, I was fine with it, but ultimately I still don't care. I liked being in ancient Greece
doing cool historic shit, then fucking, you know, DLC type stuff where I'm fighting, I'm in the
labyrinth. And, you know, there's like mythical creatures and stuff like that. And you interact
with some of the gods at some point. And then you meet, then you meet other gods who are just aliens
pretty much. And they're like, here's Thor actually. Here's Anubis. Yeah, I don't know. And it's
like, huh? I like that.
stuff. I don't mind this. I don't really mind that stuff. To me, it's just like, I was actually
genuinely into the whole, like, I think the reason why I sound as pretty successful was because
of that weird dual premise that they had originally. Like, it was like really interesting for that
time. Yeah. Like the whole like sci-fi, but it's like an ancient history game. It's like,
what the fuck is going on here. And it was a cool setup up until like, and then they just kind of like,
didn't know what the fuck they were doing. And then they were just like, eh, whatever. And they
completely dropped the ball. And that kind of fucked it up for me. Like I was super into it. That's why
I mean, there's like, there's that whole diehard. Desmond sucks. There's a whole.
There's a whole, there's a whole, people were waiting for the potential for him not to suck and it never happened.
Yeah, it was about to not suck then he died.
Yeah.
There was a whole, there was a whole community.
It was clear that they didn't know what to do, so they killed him off.
They didn't know what to do.
I mean, it's so obvious.
They're like, we don't know what to do.
Straight up.
We, we, we, we, they, they fumbled the, the entire premise and then went in a direction where let's just focus on making the game fun instead of, uh, being like, intellectually stimulating.
They kept having a hard time finding reasons for Desmond to go into the animus.
It's very funny.
Because I think in Revelations, I never played it, but I was like looking into it.
It's just like, apparently in that game, like you're just kind of in a coma and they just, like, they don't know.
They can't take you anywhere.
So they just put you at the animus.
As far as I know, I could be wrong.
Yeah.
But like, Desmond's in a coma a lot.
He's taking that.
He's damn near.
He might, honestly, I would.
He might have not even die.
He might have.
actually just been dead the whole time.
He might have just invented everything post
Assassin's Creed 2 in his brain
because he's so damaged.
He's just sitting comitose in bed?
You guys think is the most redeemed character
in the video game?
Like a character that goes from being
like a shitty character
to like oh this guy's character
is actually pretty cool.
See, that's a question
I feel like it needs a lot of deep thought.
Yeah.
Because this immediately...
I would say Riden probably.
I still don't like that nigga,
but he definitely, he definitely glows up.
The most redeemed...
Probably crash.
Definitely.
Crash.
Yeah.
Crash was an evil
son of a bitch.
Crash never sucked.
You don't know the lore
of Crash Manicoot?
No.
He's a shithead.
Actually?
Yeah.
What do you?
I feel like you just can't be...
No, he's like chaotic.
He has no guy.
That's what the masks are.
The masks are like
guidance for it
because he's such a fucking
distressing force of just chaotic
nothing.
Where there's just like
he just acts
completely independently
of any like good intent.
I feel like he's not a bad guy though.
His sister.
isn't. So she can talk.
But no, it crashes like a bad person.
No. Yes. And the whole thing is like that masks are like guiding him to like doing a good thing for once.
That's actually, that's the lore of Crash Bandicoor. I thought he just misbehaves, but he's not like hurting people.
I made all this up. You piece of shit. That's how I was like crash week. That's not
like crash being bad is so insane because he's just like. Yeah, it's kind of like not bothering anybody.
I never said he was bad. I said that he just was. He's chaos.
distinctly uncaring.
Everyone's chaotic.
Every main character
and everything's chaotic
as the nature of them.
No,
not necessarily.
Name a non-caotic good guy
and I think.
The protagonist of the Lex Friedman
podcast.
The protagonist of this podcast.
That's insane.
Every main character
that I've given it
except for like maybe,
I don't know,
like Chris Redfield
and those kind of things are
like actions good guys.
Chris Reefield is absolutely chaotic.
What do you mean?
He punched a fucking boulder.
The boulder.
That's a boulder.
You said Riden.
Riden.
right on what about uh what about gray fox
you think he has more of a redemption
Grey Fox yeah
and Metal Gear Solid
I don't remember Fox just die
Well no he fucking well he sacrifices himself
To fucking give you a chance to be Metal Gear
That's true if I'm mistaken yes
Because Fox is at the highest rank that's the highest
Right it's higher than Snake
Yeah
Without Grey Fox you would have been fucked
And he got cyborged up and he was about to kill
And he was like nah nigga I got you
And then he fucking like
He blows himself
On fucking metal gear and then Metal Gear stomps
something. It's crazy. I'm
fucking, man, I'm so mad. I'm
sorry for all the
the snake eater heads.
Like, Metal Gear Solid's the goat for me, dude. And I just,
I don't want to wait. We don't even wait
fucking how many years to get a new remastered
Metal Gear Solid? Oh, the first one?
Yeah. Like, Jesus Christ, because
oh, we got to wait for fucking two now
and hopefully, just
that is genuinely crazy to me.
Look, Snake Eater is the best one. I always think is the best
one. I think I have my opinions
as a person that hates like stuff.
when they bake in too much realism into a game.
There's a lot of shit.
There's a lot of shit going on.
Okay.
Especially in 2000 like what fucking five or six.
Yeah.
And I was like way too young and it was like, look at all this.
You got to eat and watch out for the crocodile and you had to tranquilize a gun.
It's like, how do I stop this crocodile with a tranquilizer gun?
I'm 10.
But I love that fucking game.
I don't know.
I have nothing but love for that game.
It's good.
I'm just, I'm obviously.
also extremely biased
because there's this
Metal Gear Solid is just
it was probably the first
well it was the first
it must have been
the first stealth game
ever played
I can't think of anything else
it may be not
but I just can't think of anything
on S&S right now
I mean stealth think
I can't think of anything
on SBA or any
I can't think of anything
it must have been that
I'm just gonna go with that
it's the first
anything that made me
of course how old I was
I didn't get most of the stuff
yeah
I didn't understand
that was the first one for me
I never
I didn't play metal gear until later.
Yeah.
I play the fuck out of it, but like,
I was just way too stupid to,
way too ignorant to understand how
pretty complicated.
Yeah.
It's pretty complicated.
The game series is fucking insane.
No,
I mean just like literally the act of playing it.
For me,
like playing Metal Gear Solid One back at that time.
Two.
Because two,
I felt like I was progressing,
but not understanding what was happening.
I was like,
I was on a ride
that I didn't understand the right way.
And I was just like,
what's the fuck is happening?
I played.
And I remember when I got the sword.
I was like, yeah, I got a sword.
And then the way you use the sword in two is so fucking stupid.
I was like, why did they even give me this?
What was the point of me getting this?
Is it a flak bullets?
Badly?
I was, dude, I remember playing it with my cousin.
And my cousin was like, dude, it was, oh, you got a sword.
And finally you can like do cool stuff.
And everyone was like, yay.
And then you were like,
it's a PS2 game.
Yeah, it's all right.
That's a PS2.
That's a PS2 game?
Yeah.
What is your perception of it?
I mean, I played it.
That's it.
All I knows I was there.
Do you not have a delineation of like generations in your mind?
At that time, not really.
You don't remember like, because I wasn't turning it on.
The, the absolute jumping quality from like looking at snake versus.
Dude, you one of those crazy?
It was crazy.
In my brain right now, they look almost as.
They look probably the same than me.
That's impossible to believe.
I played them when I was, this is.
also nearly two decades ago.
Listen,
you're not that much younger than me.
Let me put it.
It's crazy to me that you would not see that.
Because that jump was the biggest jump ever.
I can at least see,
no,
in between those games.
Graphically?
No,
I just mean graphically between games
or between generations.
Like,
it's ridiculous.
I think PS2 to PS3 Xbox era.
I think that was also,
but like no.
Really?
I think that was.
No, PS1 to PS2 was great.
Because they looked like,
Humans.
PS2 to 360 and that, that was big.
Because it looked like humans.
PS2 to 360 was bigger than the generations we've seen from PS3 to PS4 and PS4 to PS5 for sure.
Yeah.
But like PS1 to PS2 was outrageous.
Why it was so outrageous because the faces were just, they were barely just outlines.
I don't think didn't have a face.
He had like angles.
No, bro, Spider-Man.
I remember the Spider-Man game, like, in his hands were like boxes.
Yeah.
You know?
And like, he, come on.
don't show me fucking
they're not showing
they're showing me everything
except for what I'm asking for
Oh the original?
Yeah they're showing me like
Even like oh
MGS 1 Sneke
MGS 1st 8th I'm doing
I want you well I can show you
I was trying to show them side by side
Oh yeah
Well but here's here's MGS 1
Like where he's just
A blurry
I remember that of course
His eyes were ideas of eyes
Bro that's even like I don't even
That's twin snakes I think
I don't even think that that's
You think that's Twin Snakes?
I played Metal Gear Solid one kind of recently.
I mean, you might be right.
Let me see if I can find.
You might be right.
It is.
That is the hilarious how you love.
Yeah.
Twin Snakes.
Which upsets me that I can't own that on anything else.
I know.
It might be on the Switch's fucking new thing where it's like,
he's the fucking go.
If they did that.
Oh, you're right.
That is Twin Snakes.
You're right.
That's, that's what.
Yeah.
That is outrageous.
That's what I see it as.
No, no, I can see Ryden's face.
And a stupid body arm.
And then look at this.
Like, that is, like, going from that to this is crazy.
Going to a not face to distinct features.
Yeah, PS2 to PS3 was more like, okay, so there's more definition here.
Yeah.
But like, straight up, like on PS1 characters just didn't have faces.
That's great.
Or just didn't have a mouth.
Yeah.
You know, I remember their mouths wouldn't move.
You know, they would, they would talk to you and the camera would cut to them so that you would know that they're talking.
Yeah.
It's, uh, yeah, man.
That's great, man.
But Fight Night, that was something.
Fight Night 2005.
Yeah, I just like, I remember being blown away by that.
Not like, um, use.
There's not much to animate.
So you can use all of the, you can pour your resources into the characters.
Exactly.
Yeah, like, you're not going to have like an open world with like weather effects and shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, hey, make this guy look like a guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's always cool.
That's why I always, when I was a kid, I'm like, God, why do I fucking, like, fighting games look so much better?
And it's like, well, yeah, no shit.
Yeah.
In retrospect, it's very obvious why.
Like, you think about, like, even just like, even comparing things like, what is it?
Fucking, Grant of the Auto, like, Vice City and stuff to other games on the PS2.
It was just like, why does this look like shit?
And you're like, oh, because there's a lot of it.
Notoriously, I remember playing San Andreas and I'm like, this.
This game looks fucking awful.
I love that game so much.
I could go so like endless.
Oh, I'm going up this mountain.
That mountain was more data than like probably most games that I fucking play.
Yeah.
I still love the fucking the porch where you used to wiggle the car big.
You just wiggle the car wide.
That is so crazy.
I wonder if those are good.
I think they're finished now.
They better be.
Yeah, they did have that, uh, that surprise fucking patch.
Yeah.
That was cool.
I want them to do that.
Still not enough for me to buy it, though.
They finally upgraded and it's actually works now.
I played it like a week ago.
Power 5 2 was fucked.
Oh, right, you're right.
I forgot about that.
I played it recently.
It's actually really fun.
It's still as it was before.
Yeah.
I love throwing bombs and rooms with fucking droids in it.
Yeah.
Stupid-ass fucking droids.
How much was when they dropped that?
I don't remember.
Like 40 maybe.
40?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
What was the whole title of it,
the Janthe Vado?
Oh, I don't know.
It was like a long stupid title, wasn't it?
No, I don't think so.
I think it was the GTA trilogy definitive edition or something?
I thought it was longer than that, but yeah.
It might have been something.
I thought it was something.
I just remember it sounding really stupid, but.
Look it up.
I really don't remember.
Grandifoto,
five titties.
Anyway,
we're going to go read,
uh,
fucking questions from our patrons over at Patreon.
com slash a Star Tank now.
Remember,
you can go over there,
five dollars.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I see.
It's,
you're right.
It's just,
it just sounds long windy because it's Grand The Fadoo,
the trilogy,
the definitive edition.
Oh, yeah.
The trilogy is kind of weird.
Yeah.
I thought it was,
I thought it was GTA trilogy.
There's two the
The trilogy, the definitive vision.
Like, all right.
That is actually crazy.
But pop on over to patreon.com slash is Narcang.
Ask us a question.
Fucking Folgers,
the best part of being gay
is a long dick in your ass,
rod in.
The best part of fucking butt.
Didn't even try.
Yeah.
Those are the best ones.
Was penis in your butt?
Anyway,
the best part of fucking butt is penis in your butt.
So dumb.
Is penis in his butt?
So terrible.
He says,
Hey guys,
just got done
watching the,
the Nintendo Direct.
No,
oh,
this,
I didn't even,
that was just recently.
This just happened.
Yeah,
yeah,
there are,
uh,
so that,
wait,
what is it saying?
And saw what they are doing
with Metroid Prime
4 giving Sammas psychic powers
for some fucking reason.
Uh,
what powers would you give
your favorite protagonist
that they never,
have ever showed signs,
any signs of having?
Like giving MasterCheaf,
flash speed force for no fucking reason.
That's so sick of,
I like that idea.
I would give,
uh,
I want to give Crash Bandicoot telekinesis.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I feel like that's way more dangerous than you think.
No,
I think it's exactly as dangerous as I think it's.
I know.
In fact,
it's more dangerous.
I want him when he's spinning
to do it with his mind as well
and everything's around him spins.
He's like a little tornado.
I would give,
I would give,
it's like giving Kratos ability to fly for some reason.
I mean,
he's damn near can.
I think he literally can in a few of the old game.
I mean,
he's so strong.
He can't.
One and two,
he does.
He does still.
Icarus's wing so he can glide.
But the funny thing is
he's so strong he can be like the Hulk.
He could just jump fucking cities
if he wanted to, but he just doesn't.
You know what I mean? Like he just doesn't do that.
Not anymore. It's bad on his hamstrings.
Yeah. Seeing him flip the
he flipped the sky and I was like,
what the fuck? That moment is such an insane moment
because the only person, Atreus has the same reaction
you do when it happens.
Where he's like, one sec, boy, I can do it.
And he's like, dad, that's like flipping the sky.
Like, what do you?
No, he just like, forces things with his strength.
And he was like, did you just do that?
Yeah, yeah.
Like, he's the only person.
Like, he has the proper reaction.
Because other gods would be like, good job.
He was like, I'm always, I always, I always, uh, the, the craziest moment of that was
when in two, in the opening sequence of the game, the, the, the colossus that gets
zapped by Zeus to come and kill you.
it tries to step on you
like it busts through the building
and then he tosses it
and I'm like
this guy is so impossible
how many tons is this thing
and he tosses it
I'm like what do you even do with that
he's like at least as strong as like an aunt
yeah like at the
yeah
as least as strong as a human aunt
it's insane to think of how insane
those characters are
because in the new one
Freya almost kills that nigga
like she in the very beginning of the game
he didn't know who that was
I think he's not trying.
I think he's weaker now for sure.
I think definitely.
A little bit weaker.
He is definitely weaker.
But also.
Still imposterous.
I think it is, I think it is, I guess I shouldn't say obvious.
But it seems obvious to me that if he had a vendetta against Freya, you would have killed
the shit out of her.
Yeah.
But like, she's incredibly powerful to where he still couldn't really defend her.
He couldn't offend her off while.
He still gets stat.
Do you ever, um, she was beating a fuck out of him in the beginning of the second one?
Did you ever do different sequences just to see how.
she kills you. No. Yeah, I did that. Like, so the second play-through, like, when the opening
sequence, which you keep trying to kill you, I kept at certain points just not doing like the
mini games or the QT things just to see what happens. And she'll like stab the shit out of you.
She'll fucking put your head and like, you'll go tumbling off the fucking thing. It's so funny.
It's so fucking funny. I love that. I love that. I love that. Don't leave me alone here.
Yeah. That's my favorite point. That is the, that is a kid. That is what a kid would say.
Don't leave me alone here. And you're like, my favorite thing about that is.
It's like imagining like that's where the story does end.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, that's it.
There's all this set up and thematic.
No.
No. He got stabbed in a car and died.
That's it.
It's like a D&D campaign where a character just dies randomly.
Like this guy just needs to be the character and say the world.
And then someone stabs him while he's on a loo.
It's like walks in.
He's on a fortified.
Somebody jugs him three times in the gut and it leaves it then.
It's like, oh.
There's rumors of a new God of War this year actually.
Oh, yeah.
There's going to be a smaller side game.
Like a Greek side thing.
saying that there might be...
Like a Miles Morales type thing, I guess.
Yeah, which...
I'll be honest, more of that, please.
Sure.
Personally, you don't want...
You don't want something like that?
I want more...
I kind of just want to do...
You know what I mean?
Like, a new set of...
The interstition...
I'm kind of tired of God of War,
honestly, like, in this...
Like, it would be cool.
I was hoping for...
If there was a God of War thing this year,
it was going to be the trilogy.
Like, you know...
Yeah, they were going to actually do that, yeah.
Yeah, but instead it's like,
here's a new one in Greece or something.
And like, a side thing here is.
I wonder what it looks like now.
It was like a utopia.
Well, there's like DLC in the new one that like brings you to.
Yeah, the Valhalla.
You can get a little bit of a, yeah.
It even brings you back to one specific scene where you sacrifice this one soldier.
Yeah.
For no good reason.
And then like it turns into who again?
You're some.
Diana Ross.
Oh no, it turns into it ends up being, um, um, head dude, Mimir.
I know.
And you're like, oh shit, Mimir, sorry.
No, you put it.
It was Apollo.
You put Apollo in the thing.
put Apollo which you have no problem
and they turn it into Mimir.
Yeah.
And it's like, you're like, oh shit, my bad, nigga.
Oh, I didn't mean to put you in this box of death.
And he's like, brother, what are you?
Brother, brother.
Oh, fuck me.
Oh, my.
What are you doing to me, brother?
What are you doing to me?
This is, I love, I love you, me.
It's so fucking funny.
Free.
E. Cretos.
What are you doing, brother?
For some reason, I'm very Irish.
I don't know why.
Why are you?
I'm so sad that you not have me cook.
Because now Cig.
Cig. Cig. Cig.
Yes.
I forgot her name.
Whatever.
Sigrind.
Queen bitch cannot suck me coke anymore.
He was,
he was,
dude,
she wasn't violent with that cock.
You see all that blood
in her fucking on her mask?
That's crazy.
He was,
he was piping that
tall
being down.
That is crazy.
That man was giving her
pipe.
Fucking skinny ass from here
because you could see
like his body on the tree.
He's a little sater.
And he was just,
he was fucking.
He was a sater.
So of course he'd fucking
he had to fucking hog on him.
Oh,
sayer like,
like sater moon.
What the,
You want to know something?
What's that?
As you were thinking?
For some reason.
I was thinking Sater Moon.
Why?
What's wrong with you guys?
Like, I don't know.
I don't know what I thought.
I don't know.
You guys are interesting.
Can we answer that question or we?
No.
I want to give,
I want to give Spider-Man the ability
to breathe underwater.
Oh, so Miles Morales in two years?
Oh, yeah.
They're just collecting powers
like they're fucking collectibles.
He's such an overpowery character.
I love it.
I saw that shit coming a mile away, man.
That's so crazy.
Yeah.
That's so great.
The second he was like making swords and shit.
Yeah, of course.
Out of electric.
What?
I think he's the people just like that.
He's electrocanesis.
He's limitless, man.
He's going to be limitless.
He doesn't have it.
He doesn't have it.
He's been had it.
He's because you can exude.
You don't have like vomit kinesis just because you can throw vomit.
No, that'd be cool.
If you can.
That would be cool.
He's been able to for the whole time,
touch people and electrocute them.
That is like the.
pathway. It's like, oh, well.
Hey, I've damn near done that myself.
Why can Electro do that?
Electro? He can do that. Of course he can do that. What? Electro?
No, why does he not do shit like that? Because he's a fucking retard.
That is literally why.
Electro is so, we talked about this on one episode.
Electro is so wildly fucking dangerous, but he's special needs. So he doesn't know he's
dangerous. That's wild. Can I not give somebody powers, but give them like,
I like the idea of like Arthur Morgan or something like a regular person, grounded character
having like a symbiote or having like a guyver armor something.
Symbiote Micah.
Could you imagine?
No.
Carnage?
Oh my God.
That is.
That's so stupid.
That is hilariously stupid.
That is too much, man.
That's he's like everyone is going to die.
I want to see a little Jack with a symbiote.
It just
Like a train passes by
You know
And then oh
It's going crazy
It's too loud
It's just to see if we get tortured
It's just
Jack
It's a kid
Now's our chance
Boy
John do it
No
John do it
You have to
Get that symbiote
Off of him
I'm sorry
Jackie
That accent
Don't do it
No, Joe, I love my son.
We's not your son no more.
Damn it, John.
We is venom.
We is venom.
We is venom.
Oh.
Oh, little Jack.
Little Jack with his little symbio.
You have to do it, son.
Arthur.
You've got to pull that boy out of that symbiote.
John, you gotta put you the fucking boot on his throat
and blow that symbiote's brain town.
Abigail will kill me.
I can't do it.
We always find ourselves here, John.
So is you and me, the little boy with a symbiote.
How do we do this all the time?
Oh my God, Jack with a symbiote is crazy.
The idea that it's a recurring fucking event.
Jack is only seven years old
and he's had to symbiote five times
and it ended up in his exact predicament
over and over again.
Oh, fuck, it's so funny.
Like he's got like a sickness
but it only works with him.
It only works with him.
It seeks him out.
I don't know if I can do it, Arthur.
Well, well, it would mean a lot to me.
I'll do it for you.
I love you.
It's all blew Jack's brains out.
It would mean a great deal to me.
That's what he says
at the end is by the line now?
I've got a plan, John.
I got a plan, John.
And he, and he puts his hands up, and he's been Wolverine the whole time.
And now his little knives come out, I got a plan, John.
And he just dices Jack up.
He's laughing exactly like that.
Or just finish.
Clean it up, Arthur.
It's a good thing I'm like this and not like my cousin, penis reen.
Arthur, finish it.
Burn him down with your human torch powers.
Penis reenance.
All right.
In the Pinkertons.
Penis reed in the Pinkertons.
It's a dope name.
Go to the next question.
It's so trash.
Penis reed of the Pinkertons.
I got to write that down.
Oh my God.
No, you don't.
What?
You know what's crazy about that?
You're going to read that.
You're going to put that away.
You're going to read that tomorrow.
You're like, this sucks.
How many times it's happened to me?
When I read that stuff, it's like, that's funny.
And then I read it the next morning.
I'm like, the fuck am I talking about.
It looks so dumb, too.
Penis reed.
That is.
Oh, fucking, what is peanut?
Oh, God.
Petus read is so stupid.
All right, so Josie and the Bussycats,
he says, hey, there are three gay uncles.
I'm going to rewatch all the podcast episodes
and I want to know if you wanted a super cut slash compilation of something specific.
Also, have you ever noticed Sweenstructures a joke the same way Trump describes things?
Do you imagine this happening?
That describes thing happening.
That is, yeah, I guess.
That's cool.
I can get guess.
Yeah, you guys are kindred spirits.
Maybe.
Yeah.
I don't know why you're not present right now.
Maybe we'll be afterwards.
Can you imagine that?
Can you imagine immigrants coming to the border?
Look at that.
Immigrants all over the border.
It is kind of similar.
I know that we have a, you know, figures of speech.
I don't want a third term.
I want my boy, my boy, Kingston.
I'm going to introduce you to an amazing man.
Kingston's dad.
Take the floor.
Oh, hello.
Everybody.
It's weak.
He looks like a hunter.
He looks like the hunter from Jumanji, and he walks in, big and black.
He looks like, he looks like the hunter from Jumangi and like Pierce's dad from community.
Do you remember him?
Yeah, dude.
Ever since you reminded me about him, I've been thinking about him every other day.
That's a guy's crazy.
Dude, I just, I just think about the, the Lego hair.
Extreme racism of having ivory hair is so fucking funny.
It is really iconic.
Like, like, like real racists could never even aspire to be.
that level. Like, I have an ivory wig.
Pure of heart.
Whoever thought of that
brilliant, brilliant, dude.
That's what he says? Yeah, that's
some brow you've got. Scandinavian
or something like that. It's like,
what a good character.
I'm kind of sad that like Pierce himself
like, or Chase. Chase is such a
fucking cunt. Yeah. I would have loved
more of that. Yeah. He was so funny.
That sucks, man. He was, yeah. He was
that's so unfortunate.
It is unfortunate. I mean, how you do not tell?
Like it was like he's he's in plain sight, you know
He's doing it in plain sight
Well, sometimes, look, sometimes yes
But sometimes they're just a really good actor
Right
It's like it's like John Voight were
So John, one of my favorite movies I've talked about us before
Varsity Blues
It's one of those old teen movies that it's actually good in my opinion
Is that the one with the blue football team?
Well, I think the colors are blue actually
No, no, no like they're blue like Blue Man Group
It's adjacent yeah
It's based on the true story
the Blue Man Group playing football in Texas.
Right, right.
You ever tell you to have their vinals?
It hurts.
Oh my God.
John Voit's racist.
Okay.
Yeah, he is.
Go for it.
He is racist.
He's a fucking racist.
He's a massive Trump supporter, but like he played a racist in that movie.
That's so funny.
He plays it so well and I'm like, oh.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
That makes perfect sense.
It's like when Bill and I plays a science guy.
You know, he fooled us
Is that his last name?
Yeah
Nye
William Nye
So Nye
stands for Nigel
With the Y,
stupid
So Bill Nigel
The science guy
The science guy
George
Such a fucking bastard
Bill Nijil
Wasted my time
I cannot believe
I listen to you
Say that
I hate you
This is real
This is real
This is real
This is real
Is real
Is real
Is real
This motherfucker
I was like
Bill Nah
Nigel
And I started
drawing a line
I was like
This is still
You're stupid.
You don't know Bill Nigel the science guigel?
You're a fucking moron.
You guys are bastards.
The both of you,
I'm playing on you guys like this.
That's so dumb.
Bill Nigel, the science guyjil.
That's too long.
You got to trim it.
You got to trim it a little bit.
William Beidle and William Nigel.
I will not compromise my name.
Fuck you name.
All right.
I'll change.
Yeah.
And then he goes, all right.
I'll change nigh.
So he's just Bill Nye the science guide.
His name is William Nigel, the science guide william Nigel, the science guideo.
William Nigel, the science guide, and they're like, fuck, this sucks.
The producers are like, this fucking sucks.
We don't have, we don't have the money to print all this.
They already wrote the, they wrote, so they packaged, they packaged, like, you know, they brought it to them.
Like, hey, look, check it, we got this show.
Laminated.
Bill Nye, the science guy.
Look, we got a fucking cool-ass theme song that fucking, John Williams.
John Williams fucking did it.
You know, this is great.
John Williams doing the Bill Nye theme is crazy.
And then he's like, I fucking hate it.
My name is William Nigel, the science guy, Joel.
What the fuck is Bill Nye, the science guy?
What did you fucking understand when I met with you in March?
He gets real.
It's like real.
He's so fucking bad.
He gets real and he starts sciencing.
You printed all this shit.
I want triple my fucking salary.
Bill, I'm sorry.
that we just
thought that it fit better
you know like we want the kids to like
catch on. The people over at Fox
didn't make this
fucking mistake and they're offering me
twice as well why should I stay?
Listen I think I think
just listen to the song
listen to the song please
hear the song
Bill Nye the science guy
He starts sounding his head
he's like no here's the Chinese one first
Zia Zizor Jin Zhao
beer beer beer beer
that's how it sounds
he is just doing it accurate
I know but it's just like
why would he hear that first
I don't know he was like
Bill we're gonna show you the Chinese version
What the fuck you mean?
It's like it cuts
It cuts to a sitcom basically
And it's like a sitcom of like two executives
Yeah
And it cuts to them it's like
Oh my God I picked up the wrong tape
Oh no
And now it's their story
Dude, I love that
Bill's mad
And they have to like calm him down
They're like oh we're confident
We'll convince him by showing him
The theme song
He'll get it
And yeah it's slaps
They pick the Chinese one up on accident
It works
It still works
He's like Bill's like
Oh you know what
I have no idea what the fuck they're saying
That sounds pretty great
It's because he doesn't understand
They're not saying
William Nigel
The Science Geigel
So he's like
Oh that's I mean
I don't know what language that is
But that sounds really dope
I want anything to do with anything that is that.
Look, that sounds amazing.
I can't wait to hear my name, William Nigel the Science Guide will say, you know, in English.
In Cantonese.
It's going to be great.
And they're like, yeah, yeah, definitely.
Here, sinus.
Sign this real fast and then we'll, yeah.
Yeah, and then they gave him, and then that night they snuck into his room and gave him a pill that made him never hear music again.
I cannot believe that you talk about me, dearly.
That is the most direct.
I've never seen.
You made a plot device in a plot device.
It's so he can't know that they're not saying the right thing.
There are specific vibrations and frequencies that are blocked from him as soon as it sounds like music.
So if someone starts humming, you can't hear it.
You can be talking to me like, ah, and he's just like.
That's why they cut the karaoke bits from the end of his show that they used to have.
Did you just stop talking about your mouth's open?
I don't understand what you just did.
What's going on?
I'm so confused.
I feel that fuels my inquisive mind.
I feel so sad.
I can't feel rhythm or breathing.
that makes you not your music.
Can we go to our next question?
Oh, by the way, what was the question?
Go to the next one.
No, we were answering.
Was that the same question or I don't remember?
Oh, a compilation.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
No, absolutely.
Look, I would say, great answer.
No, some of the, Sweetie's various laughs, I think.
I want, like, and I specifically don't want two of the same laugh next to each other.
I want all of the different ones intercut.
I don't want two of the same one in a row, is what I'm saying.
There's going to be two.
If there's, if there's insane for the.
if there's only two.
If there's any jokes that you feel like
are particularly hilarious,
definitely cut those out too because
I would like to
put more stuff out there.
And I can't remember
99% of what we did.
Yeah.
The most recent thing in my mind
is the most recent thing for me
that I can remember.
It's really only because it's the thumbnail
is fucking Bernie Sanders
with the salmon on his feet.
And that's really the only thing.
But even that, I barely remember.
Yeah.
I'm really in love with the idea of Jack and the symbiote
like screaming off him and he's just like
I mean that's great I would love
He's so small
So make a combination of
Yeah best bits
So sweeties laughs
Any any jokes that we have that you think
You think you're pretty good
I think we've got a little bit of a run lately
Yeah the Bernie Sam
I'm actually really upset because I specifically
Clipped that part of the podcast
And then just being on autopilot
What I normally do after I'm done editing
I just exit out of everything
I don't save it because I'm done.
Like it's like,
oh,
it's,
it's been rendered.
It's good.
I don't need this anymore.
And then,
uh,
I forgot that I,
clipped,
you know,
I was supposed to render those clips and I exit out.
Everything was like,
yeah,
immediately just abandoned.
I was like,
I'm not going back and doing this.
I had it pinpointed.
Uh,
yeah,
so.
It'll be a clip at some point.
Yeah,
somebody,
some will do it.
Dush bag or somebody.
Dushbag or somebody.
But it's also,
it was like,
I was,
I was,
I was,
I was,
I was,
I needed to make it flow well for like to be like a social media clip.
I needed to do some extra work to it.
Yeah, you got to cut out like silences or like interruptions that don't have anything to do.
It's kind of weird.
So it's a lot of editing.
Right.
But that was what I did with the fucking solid snake under the fucking sneaking into what is it,
some woke person's house.
Yeah.
That still gets a little bit of traffic.
Yeah.
And I imagine, this is what I'm assuming.
Somebody, some racist with, of course, a Christian, you know, crucifix in their profiles,
they always have, they're always the worst fucking people.
Yeah, people get angry at that one specifically.
They're really mad at that.
I'm assuming they were-
What the fucking.
When we were pretending to be like, ew, woke people.
Yeah.
Solid snakes like a maga, you know, like is one of the maggas.
Solid maga.
Yeah.
Oh, he's woke.
Oh, my God.
He's woke from what?
Magas snake.
Mega snake.
You know, it was stupid.
It was a funny.
It was a funny bit.
Yeah, we can't redo it.
It had a, it has a lot of views on it actually.
And every once in a while somebody really offended
Says something
He didn't say anything on this post
Particularly this guy
But he on the latest thing
The flabber thing
This guy just showed
Because like
I think I saw what you're talking about
You said he sound
Like this seems like a little racist
And then I replied with
There is an element of blackface to it
You know just saying a dumb bullshit
Yeah, we're riffing
Yeah
And then he quotes that
And then he says
Oh like God like blacks are so low
you. I was like, what the fuck?
Yeah, I did see that. I went on to his
profile and it had a
cross. The cross. There's a
crucifix, of course. Of course. And I was like,
I just, I replied to him. Your God would love
your prejudice, man. I said something I was like, yeah, Jesus would be
like really proud or so like I said something like
that. Yeah. What's that old thing? Is no hate like
Christian love, remember? Yeah. That really is so
crazy. I saw that. I was like, what?
We're so clearly joking.
There's nothing blackface about it. It's just
like vaguely tangential to the idea
of it. Exactly. I was like, it's just
heavy makeup.
Like, brother, what's wrong?
Like, why are you so angry that you felt compelled to do that?
Like, this, this joke, this retarded podcast that's clearly not take, that's talking about
a cartoon, talking about a fake ghost Elvis thing.
Imagine getting, imagine getting twisted over flabber.
Like flabber.
Like, is it, was he, was, am I misunderstanding him and he's just a massive Beatleborx fan?
He's really upset.
Yeah, he's a flabhead.
He's a, he's a flabist.
He's a flablet.
He's a flabbit.
He's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a
Flabbit.
Flavid is crazy.
That's wild.
If they're...
If you guys kids, are they flablets?
The little flablets?
The little flablets.
Daddy, daddy.
Daddy, daddy.
Daddy, flabby.
Flaab me, daddy, flabby.
Ew.
It's one of his two laughs.
I love it.
That's a third one.
He's not devious, dude.
Kill everyone
Kill them all
All right
Oh man
That was a good one
You think there's
I felt like that's all
Art the clown laughs
Art the clown
Yeah from
Terrifier
Yeah
Terrifier
I think Art the clown laughs
Like
Oh
Yeah
Wait so
So here's
So someone
So someone did write in
Shore
Mcloven
Riden
Yeah
It says
I found that
Paintball
Video Derek
Was talking about
Oh
Do you remember
What this is
Yeah
Yeah
Because there was
A guy
That
He like
shot some dude with the whole they were waiting and he shot some dude and like the guy's like oh and everyone's like what the fuck and he's like what
it's this funny right so he said it's not a it's not a paintball gun it's a fully automatic airsoft gun oh it's an airsoft yeah and
so the video is called like if he say he says uh you can search he burned my patch on youtube he burned my patch
yeah presumably that's if that's the same thing you're talking about it maybe let's see it probably is
yeah it probably is airsoft that's probably why it the guy made such a why it seemed to hurt more
than like a paintball.
Payball's from way more
Airsofts, man.
I don't agree.
Dude,
high-powered airsoft guns are
insane.
I've been hit with both.
I don't think
you've been hit by a high-powered
airsofts.
I've never hit with like a BB gun.
No,
they have like,
dude,
they'll,
they're more to,
like the one,
when people started,
do Airsoft got,
Airsoft got,
so stupid.
Check this out.
Airsoft got so stupid
that the gun started
costing more than real guns.
And I was like,
you guys are gay.
Just buy real guns at this point.
No,
I remember,
like,
there was a guy
that was like,
into it. He's like, oh, I spent $700 on this
thing, gas and
electric powered. And I'm like, just buy a
fucking gun, asshole. What's wrong with you?
Well, you can't shoot your friends with it. A real gun.
But it's like, you're, dude, the
guns that they're buying are already breaking the skin.
That's why they're all patted up. And I'm like, bro, just stop.
I mean, it is different than being shot. I understand
what you're saying. Of course it is.
But they're trying to get so close to doing it.
Then I'm like, why do you, why do you want to shoot someone
so bad? Yeah, paintball only hurts
in like, if you get like a bone
or something. I've been, I've been hit with
Airsoft guns before plenty of times and paintball guns.
I probably pinball guns always hurt more because they would welt me.
I mean, maybe I was using the most high pressure because my friend bought a fucking.
I don't think they were using the retarded like hundreds of dollars.
Like a $400 like P91.
And I remember he shot my friend so bad that it looked like he was that he had chicken pots.
Like he laced him up.
He took his clothes shirt off and he was just like bellets and I was like, dude, you're bleeding.
And I got with a paintball.
I've always wanted to.
He's really stupid.
I really always wanted to shoot somebody in a ball with a paintball.
and see if they'll blow one of their testicles.
I mean, it'll probably rupture one.
But I imagine that much,
not much force would rupture somebody's.
Yeah, so the guy just hanging it is his ball and it's...
The idea of having your balls ruptured,
oh, it fucking hurts just thinking about it.
What is it called again?
I got completely distracted.
Oh, he burned my patch, I think.
Um, yeah, he burned my patch.
Wow.
Yeah, that fucking pops up right away.
Yeah, that's it.
So there's the entire video.
Yeah, so there's just the clip that I've only seen the,
the he burned my patch
I wonder if it's time stamped
in the comments
Um
timestamped in the comments
It might be time stamped
If it's that crazy of a clip
Oh well let me see
Hold on
That sounds fucking crazy
He fell down
That is an iconic
They should all shoot him
Dude what the heck man
And then the guys goes
Do you hear what?
What?
So that's the part
I never saw where he said
He'd burn my patch
He goes like, he goes, what?
I don't know what that means.
I don't know if that's lingo or if it's literal.
Or if it's literal, like his patch got burned or something.
They should all be shooting him.
Like, I'm going to shoot you now.
That'd be crazy.
Well, that's what I just execute this.
Look, if those people were assholes, they would have shot him.
But you can tell how they're so like normal.
These guys are like Mormons or something because they're going, what the heck?
Twice I heard from two different people.
What the heck?
Yeah, that's definitely in Utah.
My guy.
Yes.
Who the fuck says heck?
Some random atheists in you.
went around and they shot Mormons with the fucking...
He said...
What are you going to do about it?
Not cursing me?
He burned my atheist patch
after my patch to kill all Mormons.
What are you going to do? Soak about it?
Soak about it.
I don't know if that's real.
Is that a real?
I have Mormon friends.
It is real.
And it is absolutely as real as Israel the place is.
Okay.
Captain Jelke.
I'm with you, brother.
Captain Joke Merica wrote in.
Captain Junkerica, guys.
Captain Junkerica is riding in.
He's riding in.
Question for Sweden and Derek.
Is he a soaker?
No.
Question for Sweden and Derek.
Who is your favorite comic book writer?
And because I don't want to Chris to feel left out, I really don't care.
What is your favorite Spider-Man design slash suit?
I also don't care.
It's fine.
I'm not going to make such a great parent where your kids's like,
Dad, what about is?
I don't care.
I don't care.
Yeah, my audience is my son.
No, your attentive ability.
I don't have, like, I don't, like, I don't have it.
I don't have anything to connect.
I'm not connecting with another person over this.
You know what I mean?
They ask the question.
I don't even really know what the answer would be.
Like, I, I feel like every Spider-Man costume is pretty good.
Like, I don't really have-
You don't have one you prefer the most?
I like the original black suit, I guess.
I like, I like the, I like the-
Then that's it.
I like the Spider-Man 2-Ramey suit.
I like fucking, uh, uh, Scarlet Spider.
but like those are obvious answers
you know
well they're having enough to give
it's not even that big give but it's like you can at least say that
I really don't care I like armored Spider-Man
Oh yeah the spider armory
The old one the old on the diamond one like this
The silver one is pretty cool
Yeah I remember that was my I remember that was my favorite
In the PS1 game
Because it looked more damage
Well because I just felt like it was
It was the one suit that was like textured really well
You could see like it was it did that thing where like
They painted on the shadows and the textures
Because you obviously couldn't have real time
shadows back then.
I see.
But like,
so it just looked like,
oh,
it looks pretty good
for PS1.
Yeah,
that was cool.
Especially the,
fuck,
I don't even remember
which Marvel versus it was.
Maybe Marvel
Super Heroes versus Street Fighter
maybe.
You had just hit like
select or something.
There was just like,
for certain people
you had to like
hold like star to select on
and then they'd get their secret character.
There was like Mecca Zangif.
I remember Mecca Zengif.
And then there's a,
uh,
uh,
shit,
no,
a evil,
evil of succors.
evil Sakura
armored Spider-Man
I love Dominican
Sakuya
Sakhaia
because he just turned
dark-skinned
for some reason
it's like
why are you dark-skinned
Evil made you
dark skin is crazy
I love it
There's always a mecca
something you know
dude mechazak if it's so funny
because he's like
yeah he just has so much
fucking shield
like he has like a
like a armor
and he's
I think that was pretty much
I think he's still more damage
but they had a
it was it was
ain't no meca Godzilla I tell you
They don't like all those
Marvelverse they didn't do that anymore after that
It pissed me off
We have all these secret characters
And then they just stopped doing that
We should have more mecha things now
You know what I mean
Like nothing has a mecca thing anymore
I think
Like where's mecha Stephen universe
Where is we do have
It's probably in Japan now let's be honest
Mecca's the universe is crazy
We need to go check Japan because they still have
I think they still have meca everything
We should ask for Becca sugars
Next time we're somewhere
tend to be like, hey, why didn't you ever make Mecca Stephen Universe?
Yeah, what's wrong with you?
Yeah, what's wrong with you?
What's your, like, why not?
You made him gay, but you didn't give him mecca for?
What is your fucking problem?
Where's Mecca?
Where's Mecca Jerry Springer?
Mecca Jerry.
I love that idea.
I think it's great.
Hold on, I got to type that in real quick.
She doesn't know, she doesn't know that he's the father, but watch them fight.
Give me a second.
I have to type in Mecca Jerry Springer.
Watch this.
Don't continue.
I feel like that's real.
I'm accidentally
Watch this slut fight
Another one
You are not the father
That's Mecamori
That's Mecamori
Mecca Mori Povic
Jerry
Jerry Jerry
He's changing his own name for some reason
It's just giving me like
Transformers
I don't understand
I mean
I don't yeah
It's dumped by a robot
What the fuck
Anyway favorite comic writer
I put that in my fucking
Back pocket
My favorite Conner is easy
That's John of the Hickman
Easy tap top of the line
Beph number one best
Did he make
Hancock?
No
No
No he's the one that wrote
The uh
Hancock
I was like wait what
He wrote 2015 Secret Wars
Oh okay
He's my favorite
Other than other than that
Super cool
Super cool secret
Yeah definitely Vince Gilligan
Favorite comic crazy
Yeah
Obviously Stan Lee
Yeah
Jizz Lee is pretty good
Is that his son
Yeah
You didn't know about his son
Jizzlea
Yeah
I mean like
Jisler
Jizzley.
I love you too, Dad.
I'm four years old, but I talk exactly like you.
I can't wait for my 10th birthday.
Excelsior, right?
Is it...
Dad, is it okay if we invite Kingston's dad to my birthday party?
That's okay, son.
Absolutely.
Exelior.
It's like, hi, I'm Kingston's dad.
I'm just so much.
Thank you so much.
I don't like the idea of my dad is in ball.
Thank you so much, Jizz Lee for inviting me to your birthday.
I love you so much, Jisley.
I love you so much more than my son, Jisly.
Mua.
Mua.
Don't tell my son about this, though.
He'll be mad if I meant you without be furious.
He'll be furious that I have a signature and I'm best friends with the stand and Jis Lee.
My son is what I call a butty money.
Big old, little gay boy is what we might say.
Gay little punk.
He's becoming like so distinguished.
I don't like how you're making my buddy boy.
dad eloquent.
I know.
I'm picturing it with that fucking drip on.
And the fucking rifle?
He's got a fucking elephant rifle.
Someone draw Kingston's fucking impossible dad.
Yeah, yeah.
With the safari drip.
The elephant rifle with those cool fucking armor and helmets on.
Yeah.
And if you could,
if you get the voice in the drawing somehow,
that'd be great.
Yeah.
Draw the voice as well.
They draw what the audio file would look
like of it.
And this is what it would look like.
This is what it would look like.
By the way, the artist's worst nightmare
probably like that that instruction.
Can you draw it?
Do you draw it to what sounds like this?
It would be like if somebody commissioned somebody and they're like,
what do you want?
And they'd be like, I don't know, just do what you feel.
Do what you feel works.
Yeah.
It's like some direction here, buddy.
But yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So Stan Lee.
Jonathan Hickman.
Well, some of the stuff I've enjoyed the most,
I would say things that I like the most.
Crampus.
Jiz Johns is involved in some of my favorite pieces.
Go.
And I think he's the best DC writer ever.
I would have to say it goes for Jeff John.
I'll give that to him.
Yeah, I'll be right.
I'll get that to him.
All of the Green Lantern era when he was just like the best comic book character.
Yeah.
That happened?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like 2000 like...
The stuff that really like...
Six to 10, he was just like on fire consistently.
That's what like really got me into...
Well, that's really got me into the cores, man, and actually caring about that stuff.
He made him go from, like, because at first it was just, it was green lantern and then it was Sanestra who had some other kind of power.
Right.
But Jeff Johns, like, fleshed out to make it like a bunch of other lanterns, different parts of the emotional spectrum.
Was there like a green, like, spotlight or like a green flashlight or something?
No.
Or did they just stick with lanterns the entire time?
I think lanterns are more symbolic.
Lanterns.
And a flashlight.
Why is it symbolic?
Because lanterns kind of guide Joey through the darkness.
Oh, is it about the underground railroad?
They didn't do fleshlights.
It was cool.
The green fresh light.
Yeah, it was cool.
They had those.
Ding!
It felt way better than pussy.
Trust me.
Trust me.
This perfectly authentic, buddy white fleshlight.
And it's green.
You're like, it was green?
It was green.
Betty White was green.
She was green.
People just weren't really paying attention.
You think they saw Shehawk flashlights?
They have to, right?
I mean, they will.
Yeah.
They will.
Dude, I've seen some,
Well, no, that's not true.
I was going to say flashlights.
It was dildos.
It was like alien one.
You ever see shit like that?
They had these things and I'm like, oh, they had a avatar.
The, not the airbender.
The, the blue aliens.
They had like avatar.
I don't know if they were, I think it was one of those things where it says like a costume president of the United States and it's clearly Trump.
You know, it just doesn't say it was like that.
It was like that.
Why is it that they can't like?
I don't know.
I feel like.
Because they are just them.
Like everybody knows it.
Uh-huh.
You know?
They are the.
I saw one for like 11 from Stranger Things
and it said number girl.
That is crazy.
And I was like, are you serious?
They don't want to pay royalties.
It's just like,
I know, but like...
I don't feel like they should have to.
That's what pisses me off.
Yeah, it's like Halloween.
It's like, if I, if a kid does it with, I guess,
well, I get, I get it.
I get it.
I can't say that I don't get it.
I think the Borderland Psycho one that I got,
the Borderland Psycho one was,
I think it was like,
crazy person or like inmate.
And I was like, what are we doing?
Like, I get it because like,
you know, when I think about it,
just how cut.
throw the businesses.
There's no way they're not going to be like,
we're suing you.
I just don't understand how they aren't already doing that.
You know what I mean?
It's because of the stupid loophole.
It's just like say, well, you know,
we started the show talking about Musk like paying people to like vote or whatever.
Well, he's not technically paying them the vote.
Right.
Yeah.
He's paying them to do certain things.
Oh.
Which would lead to, you know.
Yeah, that's literally, it's literally, but like.
The bullshit loophole is what it's like, we all know what this is.
And the fact that we just.
allow this to happen is mind
boggling. Where are you at? Second Amendment
people. I need a manse.
Liars. I need immense power. Lying ass
niggas. They just like guns and don't give
a shit about the Constitution. Fuck them
niggas, man. They like guns. They're cowards.
To be fair. Yeah.
I don't really care much about the Constitution
either. I do
like conceptually, but like I haven't like
I haven't like sat there and read it.
I care about, I've, um, I'm not
no fucking scholar, but I don't have the Constitution
to read the Constitution. I've gone through
I've gone through them.
It's really not that long.
Well, it's not that.
It's boring.
It's just more about understanding.
It's just more about understanding
how our government works as all.
It's more about understanding
like the amendments that were
kind of obvious.
The Constitution is like fundamentally
as a one article.
It's really impressive to be created
at a time where it was so much vibrant
ignorance while these people were like,
wait, instead of shitting ourselves to death,
Let's sit together and create this like actual important.
Good minds coming together to be like, we don't like the idea.
You are the most miraculous human ever.
I think they probably got some guy to do it on his off time.
Probably, but it still is done.
Some brilliant slave and then he stole his ideas.
Some brilliant slave.
You are the most absolutely astute Negro ever.
Like this guy like, boom.
The Constitution said like, you know, like, oh, all men are created equal.
And then they're like, this is good, but.
conceptually all men that look like us and he's like well that's not what it boom you know then then
yeah they it would be so funny that would be fucking hilarious if it was like if the real constitution
was like it was like handwritten and all it and you get like all the good parts and then like
the second it gets to like some of the stuff that is questionable yeah the handwriting obviously
changes to like fucking dimwit fucking stupid like cram it's really funny it's like the whole
kind of show of being like we probably shouldn't have slaves really and they're like yeah but
Yeah, but we need to listen.
I'm not going to listen.
We're not going to get the country to listen if we do that right now.
Well, see, the thing is here's the engine thing.
It's all about getting rich people on board because only rich people on slaves, right?
Yeah.
It's the thing.
People always kind of forget that.
They're like, this is poor people didn't just own poor.
It doesn't work that way.
It isn't like the poor people we have now.
It's like people in the South that were had bad.
Yeah.
It's essentially.
It's not like when you buy a poor person today.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
It's not like, yeah, you're going to Ho Depot and buy a poor person.
there's like there's an app. Hey, Frederico.
Yeah. Now it's like,
this way. I'll feed you. Now there's an app. There's a subscription
service. Slaves Plus. Slaves Plus is good.
Going on slaves.com must be crazy.
I don't know what I can't.
Oh my God. I can't even imagine.
He's a whole way. Can't wait to see.
What is that going to be? It's not going to be porn, dude.
Probably actually.
Literally turned into sex chat.com.
That's crazy.
Crazy. It redirects the sex chat. 16 way video sex. Fucking Discord gang bags.
Way.
Bro. You have to be on a Discord. On a Discord gang man, you're all joking off. You hear like, I'm coming. It's like, where?
Which one? Which one? Which one? Which one? Which one? Which one? Which one? There's so many screens. Whoa!
Whoa!
Just overwhelmed.
Just so much stuff.
That's crazy.
Let me,
let me very,
let me make sure I didn't misspell slaves.
Because like,
really it went to sexchat.com.
What could you possibly misspelled?
They would have also redirected to something like that.
Well,
I don't know,
but, you know,
maybe my fingers sucks.
Sables.
Let me do it again.
Nope, nope.
Sexchat,
it goes to slaves.com goes to sexchat.
What about slaves.
That org?
Oh.
Or slave.
Old money.
You think there's slaves.gov?
Absolutely.
I can learn about my family, my brief family.
Oh, no, there's no slave.
It's just a gift.
There's no slaves.org.
There's no slaves.org.
Slaves.org. Slaves.org. Slaves.
org. Slaves.org. Slaves.
Maybe education. Nope. Slaves.net. There might be a slaves.net, actually.
That's fucking crazy, man. I love it.
What we got?
We got it. Something's loading.
We got it. Go back to sex chat.
What do we got?
Oh, it's, it's, what is that?
Oh, okay, it's no slaves.
Dot net.
Yeah, okay.
It's like a disclaimer.
All right.
One last one, slavery.com.
Oh, my God.
What are we doing?
Slavery.
Pepsmedia.
Slavery.com is G-registered,
I don't,
Dorin-Clanvon, Peps Media.
What the fuck language is this?
Look, man.
Benjid's dead.
It's a domain that's available.
It's really expensive, though.
Which one?
Slavery.
It's a really expensive domain.
How much is it?
Oh my God.
How much is it?
It's $40,000.
Go fund me?
Okay, guys.
No.
Let's put it together.
Time out.
No.
Guys, let's get this crowdfunded.
All right.
Oh my God.
I want to hear him out.
If we, if we, if we, sorry, I felt my, I felt my ancestors like.
It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
ignore them.
I can't.
Simmer them.
I can't.
You guys are dead.
I believe in you, Kingston.
I believe you, son.
My father.
Get that domain name.
I'd be so proud of you.
I'm so proud of you.
40 grand well space.
Create Slavery.org.
By the way, that's to own it for like a year, by the way.
If we got it, what would we put on it?
Just the worst shit.
We redirect it to us, I guess.
I don't know.
That's a good idea.
For all eight people that look it up eventually.
Yeah.
How much you think?
The worst kinds of people, too.
That is so great.
Last question.
Last question.
That's great.
Org.
I like slavery.com, dude,
look at what it turned.
Look at this.
What language is this?
What is this?
Is Greg registered?
What?
Dur in clant
when Pep's media.
That is absolutely German.
Is that German?
Probably.
Absolutely German.
That looks.
There's parts of it that seems German,
but then there's also parts of it that don't.
It seems more like simlish than anything to me.
Simlish.
Simlish?
What is that?
The Sims language.
We put her email.
Norger. Like, there's parts of it that seem German, but there's parts of it.
The Dargle-Kul-Schmargelgarf.
Yeah.
Clargel-Gel-Gargle-Gargle.
What's his name?
Worverman-Gensen.
Smitty, Werverman-German-Gensen.
What's his name?
That name is tattooed.
I will never forget that.
I will forget my kids' names.
Maybe, eventually, if I got them.
But, like, I will never forget Smitty, Werber and Yeagerman-Gensen.
I have a question.
That's a good name.
What?
Why do people in, like, fucking White'sville, like, a part of the world, like, the
Scandinavians speak English?
or they conquered two by the Brits?
Yes.
What are you saying?
English is the world's default language.
That's true.
Okay, well now that we've wrapped up that mystery.
The Brits won, man.
It's fucked up.
Yeah, anyway, zombie stank wrote in.
Last question.
He said, hey, got slightly rage baited into
subbing to the Patreon on my iPhone.
Be nice, Kinskinton.
Got slightly rage bated into something to the Patreon on my iPhone.
799.
Fuck you Apple.
Love you guys.
Listen, you can circumvent that.
You can go to the website.
it'll work.
I would highly recommend doing that in fact.
And if anything, if you're an Apple user, do not buy things through Apple if you don't
have to.
You can go on your browser.
You can whatever and buy it through Google or whatever.
Yeah.
It's just, it's going to be cheaper.
It's truly crazy.
So like that's a recommend for like whenever you, you know, you.
It's not like we're getting more money.
Yeah.
We're not like, none of that goes to us.
You just go to a higher tier, motherfucker.
Like, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing in fact?
It's me.
Bench me around.
I'm the new.
financial advisor for the snark tearing.
That'd be fucking crazy.
The Daily wire is going in flames.
I'd be scared.
We're about to be...
You see, like...
The Daily Wire is collapsing
beneath my very fucking feet.
But we're about to make a lot of money here.
They fired the two like most prolific
racist whores that they had
and then things going in flames and now the
Jeremy boring left and I'm like, dude,
they're they're...
And I'm like, good.
Yeah, we're gonna make a lot of money together guys.
I'm like, I would...
If you bring Abby around,
I'll partner with you.
Abby Shapiro is dead.
Oh
Well then I
I literally
Want you to stop talking
You were useless now
Oh shit
I wasn't expecting this reaction
From the fellas at the snorting
And
You get out of here
I'm gonna shoot you
I would honestly
I think
Condolences to my sister
I think I might have to go to jail
Because I think I would beat him up
I think I would actually beat up
It wasn't until he did the free showvin
Or the free derrick.com
Or I was like
I think if I see this guy on the streets
I might have to do something about that
Because I just
My sister is so wild
I want him to be hit in the back of the head
I want him to get a skillet to the back of the head like in Minecraft
What do you mean like the band?
Like the band?
Holy fuck
I'm awake, I'm alive
Did you hear the song that they put out recently?
No in fact
Yeah
It's it was one of the
It was like a very like
It wasn't cool
It wasn't directly anti-woke, but you understand they made it in the certain climate and who exactly who was for.
Oh, right.
Perfect.
I can't wait to listen to it.
I would call it like Stephen Crowder medal or something.
I can't wait to put it on my Trumpify.
That's my, that's my music service.
Dude, if Joe Rogan was like...
I only listen to things Trump says I should listen to.
If Joe Rogan was like quote unquote woke or whatever, then there would be a Trumpify.
There was actually a thing with him recently.
He pushed back a little bit.
He pushed back.
It was barely, but like...
my god it was it was if this is true yeah this is scary and i'm like and then at every corner
trying to justify i know yeah what did she do did she do something because like all that girl
just getting attacked they're getting randomly picked up many stories because they would they have a
trigger nometry i can't fucking believe there's a thing that exists there's like a podcast or something
or a youtube channel called trigger nomit yeah i see you've mentioned one of my favorite shows and of
course you know they're probably a bunch of centrist retards you know they're just like oh every
things one of those people end up on joe wogan's podcast and that's how you get on and then they're
talking about these cases and not well informed about the cases oh have you heard about this one no
i haven't looked into it but they're still commenting on yeah this can be scary but you know if you do
things if you ramp things up bad people like mistakes are going to happen too and i'm like
that's the classifying this as like oh this has to happen and mistakes are going to happen is
is it's fucking wild to me do it.
It's about that woman I got taken up off the street randomly.
It's like, oh, you're...
It's about her.
It's about there are multiple cases of protesters and then people like that.
Specifically, this is more about the protesting.
The people protesting against obviously the genocide getting rounded up and shipped out.
They're just saying, oh, they're terrorists or they're Hamas supporter.
You know, they're just lying about shit.
No evidence.
And then Joe Rogan is trying so hard to, you know, because he endorsed Trump.
like, uh, she must have did something awful, right?
And I'm seeing this trickin-nobics guy, this one fucking British, they're British,
and like, oh, did, uh, since she's, uh, not an American citizen, do they have different
rules?
Yes.
And I'm like, what the fuck do you mean?
I did see that, yeah.
Do they have different rules?
Like, oh, are they trying to say that they wouldn't have given her a green card or a visa
if they knew she was going to protest?
And I'm like, are you fucking listening to yourself, you stupid ret?
I can't believe it.
It is crazy.
Yeah, but at the very least, Joe showed some concern.
Yeah, I don't know.
He was the least concerned that, like, what's happening is scary.
But wouldn't admit that, like, this is fucked up.
Like, this is what's happening.
He won't connect it.
He just won't admit that it is exactly what's happening.
Right.
He's trying to be like, oh, if he's, he, I'm like, yeah, somebody hit him with a mallet, please.
It'll happen.
He's always going to that mallet shop.
Yeah.
And then the owner's just like, I should do it.
I should do it.
Yeah, I used to go to that mall shop with him all the time.
Doing.
Ouch.
Ouch.
My alpha brain is not working.
My alpha brain.
Me and Joe Rogan used to always go to Craig McPhlippin's spring-loaded fucking mallets and boxing clubs.
Let's read the name, please.
I love getting concussed in that location.
Yeah, me too.
Zombie stank wrote in, he says, hey.
Oh, so he says the, yeah, the got rage bated into subbing on Apple.
Right.
Right. Thank you. So he subbed to say the Sonic Xbox emulation Chris was talking about was actually them recompiling the whole game to run on a PC, but now the tools are there to do it with any 360 game. That's all about it. It's very cool. I'm curious to see what is even available to get that done with. I want to see X-Men Origins Wolverine. Absolutely. I want to see Spider-Moeuvre Shadows. Yes. I want to see like weird. I know like it wouldn't matter for like Lord of the Rings conquest because that's server base, but like I'd be curious. See if like you could just go.
in by yourself.
There's a lot of great games
that are just stranded on that.
Mercenaries too, I would love.
That's not on PC.
Let's get cracking.
Do it.
But, uh, yeah.
And you know what?
We'll cut it there.
Yes.
Try to keep things brisk.
Brisk.
At a brisk.
Like my son.
Brist like my piss.
I like that.
My son.
Hmm.
Kingston.
I'm so vulgar.
Why is this show so
so vulgar?
mean spirit
I taught you better than that
I taught you better than that you were gone
the entire time I was gonna say
I raised you back allow me to strike an elephant
with my rifle and such a smiting man it's head blows up
he's shooting ten elephants while he's lecturing you
he shot an elephant he's shooting the same ten elephants over and over again
he's on his field of dead elephants and he's just shooting dead elephants
he's like now son you're gonna want to aim
for the body
Sean, this is the last elephant alive
And I want to give you the honor to ending its life
What
Huh, that's my favorite animal
I know, that's why I killed all of them
And I'll give you the chance to kill the final one
Oh my God, that's like the Thanos level shit
Like the vendetta he has with that guy on his birthday or whatever
Yeah
We're like I found out this is your favorite animal
So I killed all of them
That's so evil
I'd be so depressed
We're going to read our $25 patrons now.
Remember, you can submit your name here to the Patreon list of names right at the end of the show.
$25.
It's an egregious price that, uh, some of you got it like that, man.
God bless.
Uh, you count me down.
It's a great price.
It should be $75.
It should be fucking $75.
The, the pain of this.
Yeah.
We got a high.
The inflation, guys, sorry.
The $25 price tag is now $500,000.
We're going to put some tariffs on our podcast.
We're going to put tariffs on this consoles, games.
All podcasts have tariffs.
We're going to put tariffs on these digital games.
Comedy needs tariffs.
Comedy needs tariffs.
One cent per punchline.
Sorry.
That's four cents.
It's actually really affordable.
But Bernadette, Bernardette,
Bernardet Banana C. Gay-Y.
Kulshedra Edras.
I'm an astrophysicist and fun fact, you can
lift, you can fit every major
planet between, wait, hold on, something's
not right here. Paid.
Yeah, okay.
Fun fact, you can fit every major planet
between Sween's tooth cat.
That's crazy. Racist
Hokage.
Racist Hokage.
Black 10,
who has the power of 10
white people.
That's so stupid.
Oh, yeah, yeah, right.
So dumb, so stupid.
Black, too.
God Christ.
Queen, queers of war.
Oh, queen is of the stone geese.
I love that we had, yeah, we did have an episode called Gays of War, and everybody was like,
Queers of War was right there.
That's true.
And it was like, you are right.
No, queer's of war is, but see, the, the problem is the art.
Right.
I had Gays of War.
Oh, you're just like Kanye now.
Yeah, you does like Kanye.
But I understand that queers of war sounds better.
but also
It's less dumb
Yeah
It's just like
It is dumb
It's
It's the
If you think about
Gays and gears
You understand
I do understand
This is like
I feel like I'm watching
Like what is it
Inside the actor studio
Yeah
You know
Or like it's like
Wow
I never really
Or like a DVD commentary
With like
With like fucking
I don't know
John Williams
Talking about like
I scored
I actually
Or like George Lucas
Like
I actually made
I made Jar Jar
The size of my own
foreskin because I really wanted to relate to him.
It's like, George, your foreskin is massive.
It's actually deeply good sight.
It's about twice the height of a child and
about the size of Jar Jarvings.
What the fuck am I hearing he said right now?
Oh my God.
RFK drinking Trump's evil come to become
Majan RFK.
It's Emma, two rats in a trench coat.
I'm Chris Ray Gu.
Derek.
This is Derek.
God damn it.
This is the N-word man.
This is Tom swastika, aka we was Kingston Jameson.
I don't know.
The good swine is in the Black Lodge.
Ellen, Elon Musk.
I can't wait for him to transition.
Yeah, Ellen.
That'd be fucking amazing.
It's me.
I'd want to do comedy.
You can't tell jokes anymore.
You know, my advice.
My testes are gone.
Tesla
We renamed it to Tesla
Tesla
To appease
I love Tesla
I love it
When he said that I couldn't believe it
Dude I thought I was
Crack and a slip up
No
But he was in the White House
We love Tesla
We love Tesla
He was in the White House
Just recently talking
And I was like
Oh he just says Tesla
I've never even heard him
Say an R that strongly
Yeah
Even when talking about
Because I'm not black
And around him
But like
At that
That's actually a pretty good joke.
It's not bad.
It's something.
But, yeah, Elon Musk is a filthy African.
My plan to solve the Israel-Palestine conflict is just Duke Jerusalem, so no one is happy.
My contention has always been that there's a McDonald's in Jerusalem, so it can't be a holy land.
The second of McDonald's there, it's just over.
That's a good point.
Berser Broly, big bouncing backside.
The Sloker 2, why so derpy, meggers with attitude.
Meggers.
Maggard.
Beef stroking off.
Gagga,
Gagga,
Gag, Gave for the Chode.
Bad to the bone.
I can't believe
the woke left
without saying goodbye.
Friza White and
Sightak,
Walt Jr.
In Zarmond form.
Come people.
Come people.
Broley.
Oh my God.
That's layered,
my guy.
Did you ever see that?
We talked about it on the show,
right?
The broly,
the guy who did Broly's voice
doing that song.
Oh, yes, yes, we did.
Come.
People.
come people right right right that's awesome yeah that's what that was that's deep meggerman
ex and mad dick hunter quiro uh domination vaunted the dead johnson johnson park uh derrick
not chauvin is innocent free him round-eyed asian mistaking the voice of god for schizophrenia
sweetie please send me your babitos tomorrow or else uh you should show them off on the podcast john trons
miscarried derrick made up a pirate name for yourself make up a pirate name for yourself please
Gras, don't call me good kitty, Bob
Or my bar of cock will start
Rushing. Meow!
Meow! Meow! Meow!
The animus is making you able to watch
your ancestors memories in 4K means Desmond probably owns a bunch of
CB. Monstrance clock, to the pulse of
the monster's cock, an anus cleanse, unable to walk, black tick
will turn and get realigned. Let's be gay bob.
Let's gay bob.
Smelling ants, smelling ants
for one big ounces
scientific curiosity.
You look, uh,
you look, uh, you look, uh, what?
Which ones are the ones with the Sikh?
You look like a Sikh.
You look like a cone head.
Like you have like...
Featuring Dan Aykroy.
It kind of has the shape of like the Sikh turban.
Not anymore.
All right.
The fuck is this.
He's checked out.
Yeah.
Rededucting his not speaking from his pain.
Is he what do you?
I'm like you guys talk.
Go to your day.
Is he black devil?
What is he?
Black.
Dere black.
Dare black.
Black.
That sucks.
Black devil.
Black devil.
Black devil.
This city needs me.
This is the Devon Towns the song.
It's like that.
Bad devil.
Bad devil.
Bad motherfucking devil.
Get out of my city.
This is my city, black devil.
This is my city, black devil.
I am Sunwilsk.
Kiskv.
Kv.
You need to chill for you die.
You try to say Wilson Fisk's name backwards?
Almost.
It's like not even right perfectly.
Sun will skis.
I said Sunwilsk.
It should be like
What? How would you?
No.
No.
No will?
Is that it?
No will?
No.
A more worthy endeavor there has never been.
No.
Will.
No slu?
No.
I'd have to write it out.
If I can write it out.
Lou.
No slew.
Shut up.
That was like what.
This could be kissed.
Oh my God.
You can stop.
I was asking a short.
Short. I was like watching a short bus race.
Cassif.
Kisif?
I am Nosewil.
Kassif.
This is my city.
Black devil.
Vanessa.
So,
it'll be,
this pie with me.
It'll be Kisif.
Ksiv.
Kiswil.
He got what we ended up with.
Nosswill.
Right.
Kisiv Norskwill.
But when I look down at my puddle of come,
Vanessa
I
I wipe my hands
and I look out
at the city
it's a corrupt city
Asenov
Asana
Are you saying Vanessa backwards
Stupid
You are
Asana
Please Asanan
My love
My hate
My
But he's a good guy
He's like
So he's like he's trying to help
A devil dare is like out there being a fucking dickhead.
The devil dare is god damn devil dare.
Ass ass enough.
My hate.
You have been a thorned in my side.
This is such a stupid concept.
Every facet of it.
Devil dare is great though.
I love the idea of a backwards daredevil who's like he can see perfectly well
but he can't do anything else.
He's got fucking he's got 30 30 vision.
He's got 30 vision but only directly forward.
He's so...
He can't like...
He's got no peripheral.
Yeah.
It's like tunnels.
Oh my God.
Devil Dare is great.
Someone draw Devil Dare
doing like a fucking gainer off of the Statue of Liberty and not understanding how high that is.
I hate this city.
Kitchen hell so much.
Kitchen hell.
Kitchen hell is such a city.
This is so dumb.
I must save my city.
I must save Heaven's bathroom now.
Heaven's bathroom.
What is it?
Heaven's bathroom.
I will save Heaven's bathroom if my name isn't.
He can't do it either.
Nis Noss will.
Nossil.
This is stupid.
But I'm trying to say, Wilson.
Please read my name.
Thugzilla, king of the, that was the dumbest.
Wow.
Noss.
Lugzilla, king of the hoodsters, losing all my friends in the custody battle.
Kurt Cobain, P.O.B.
Nobody cares, but I am now gay.
free for the past year.
Death.
Jack W.
F.M.
Bombing Red Bull for dropping
Lawson the cunts.
What do you want to call kingpin?
Like,
if you want to use the word kingpin.
Uh,
fucking,
I don't know.
I didn't come.
Pinking.
Queen,
queen,
queen,
his name's just,
his name's pinking.
Pinking?
What the hell does that mean?
What's that?
His name's picking.
If you,
oh,
if you want,
if you want,
ha,
you're funny.
Okay.
Okay, okay,
Okay, I was thinking, okay, I got you.
That's what it would be.
Pinking.
That's so stupid.
Of course.
Shut the fuck up, please.
All right, Ben Shapiro.
I will save my city.
Heaven's bathroom.
Is that it?
Whatever.
Stop.
Heaven's bathroom is.
I always knew that.
From devil dare.
From devil dare.
If my name isn't pinking.
His name isn't.
Panky.
That's what's wild about it.
Something.
His name isn't kickpin of the show?
It'd be nip.
It'd be nip.
this is such a dumb
there's nip
nip nick nick nick
it'd be nip nick nick nick nick nick
nip nick nick nip nick
nip nick it is nip nick
if my name isn't
nip nick it isn't the show though
they haven't called me in the Disney one
but in this version
they've called me nip nick nick
starring
Vincent
De Nonrio
Yeah, whatever.
He looks like the fucking alien in middle black.
Yeah, we're getting into the weeds here.
He's a good guy.
He's a good guy.
Salt.
Salt.
What opposite of water?
Salt.
Meat.
I just want to say, what's the opposite?
of water meat
that is the craziest thing
I know this is fire to be too stupid
like salt meat
meat there's not even a there's
not even a nano angstrom of cleverness
to this I know Jesus
fucking crazy don't touch me are all
coming you amazing Ben Shapiro
anti-commodity is funny than comedy
Ben you would say that
Ben Shapiro stretching his balls
like a god of war QTE
Kingston's dad
I need your help
Save my city
That's a good impression actually
Like actually I'm ironic
I for some reason
I was fucking around with the colors
On the TV and I was watching Daredevil
And I thought that too
I was like this actually sounds like him
I wasn't expecting that
Let's do daredevil in a
Wilson was talking
It started
Kingston's dad
I need your help
No, I'm Dair Devil, hold on
Oh
Oh, go again
Excuse me
Yeah, go ahead
Uh
Devil Dare
I, whoa
You're
He's just blindish
He's just a blind guy
Well, you're incredibly blind
I'm not sure how you're antagonizing my city so much
When you can't even fucking see anything
Are you caught
Are you watching Born Again yet or no?
Not yet, I'm almost done
with season three.
Don't touch me.
Don't touch me.
But I'm,
dude.
He's not even saying anything.
That's my dad.
I'm a friend of pressure.
He's blind,
mute in deaf.
Yeah, he says,
he can't do anything.
He can move around and that's it.
But why is he a nuisance?
Why is he my fucking nemesis?
He's like Mr.
Magoo kind of.
That's what I was going to say.
We're like,
by the way,
amazing reference for everybody.
The was a crazy old reference.
I don't even know why I know that.
But like,
If he was a blind guy that would like accidentally accomplish everything that he needed to do.
So like it would be that.
Like he would like trip into like a broken glass.
Like you'd trip into a broken glass and that would like summon the police to a place where like a robbery was taking place under.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
And the odds of him terrorizing my city is incredible.
It must be fate.
I don't do.
Stop.
Don't move.
Don't move.
Help.
Help.
Help.
Help.
Help.
Help.
Help.
Help.
Help.
That would be terrifying.
If you know he keeps getting into like
Yeah, yeah
Like if he just saw him moving
I'd be terrified like what's gonna happen
It's like final destination almost
Like you know like you can't stop it
He is final destination kind of
He is Mr. Final
Anyway
Mr. Final
All right just go
That's something so stupid
Mr. Shapiro
Mr. Shapiro
I know you've been up to
things lately Mr.
Nipnig?
How you doing?
Nipin.
Wait, what was it again?
Nipnig?
Wait, that's not right.
Nipnik.
Nipnik.
The audience is furious.
How can I help you?
Don't touch me all.
But Shapiro's sotig is ballsy.
I'd rather give you money than to charity.
Big meaty stinks.
I'm slipping.
I've learned various things.
I'm slipping and no famous scene.
I can't put the cocktail.
I require Abby Shapiro's milk.
Well, she's got.
Immediately.
Unfortunately, she is no longer with us.
Reserate her.
We have the means.
Abby Shiro is no longer with us.
I don't want to hear that.
You took
Abbey's milk from me
He picks him up with suplexes him
Like you know when he got mad at like Karen about Wesley
No, it's the milk
It's Abby's milk
He's actually really good
I'm sorry she was as she's gone she was tragically folded
Into an envelope
All that milk onto waste
All that milk on to waste
The envelope was looking crazy though
You know
How else am I supposed to beat off
And feed myself
she's gone.
That's a really good impression.
What about Vanessa?
What about your fucking freak of a wife?
I don't care about Vanessa.
He flips the tape.
I need Abby's milk now.
Like I said, well, he's like shaking.
He's always shaking, yeah.
I was like, even when he's given a press conference
trying to convince people that he's a good guy.
And he's like,
I'm like, we look at him.
He's snarling silently.
It's crazy.
Dare devil tried to frame me.
And I'm like, uh, you're kind of scaring me, buddy.
The fact that he becomes mayor is so insane.
It's so insane.
It is.
It's so insane.
But then I also not.
It's really not.
Thank you.
Thank you for saying that.
Like the idea of them, like, when they did Devils ran, it was like, people were like,
how would people think that he would become mayor?
It's like, Andy, the man who's like.
Look where we are now, nigga.
Jimmy Rings.
He at least does some good.
I forgot about Jimmy.
I forgot about Jimmy Rings.
At least he has like, uh,
he's a fucking
psychopath
but legitimately
wants to
he wants the city
to be prestigious
but in a fucked up way
you know what I mean
Is he gay in the alternate universe too
and his husband's like
Vanessa
Vanessa
Vanessa
Vanessa
I love your penis so much
here you have an amazing cock
Thank you
Thank you
Can we please stop?
clone.
It's just himbing it.
It's just him.
He's just fucking himself.
Oh, that's the seed.
Oh,
it's so good.
I love the way your penis feels in my ass.
Yes.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, Vanessa.
I love what your ass feels on my penis.
I love it.
The stupidest show in the fucking world.
People listen to this.
Women listen to this.
There are women with class.
He's only the classiest woman's going to put out of the snark.
tank in the car for you.
Women that are like Vanessa, essentially.
Vanessa.
You keep adding a tea in there.
I like Vanessa.
That sounds better than Vanessa.
Well, but it's dumb.
It's nega Vanessa.
Nega.
Vanegga.
Yeah.
Yes, that's what it's.
Look at that.
Vannego.
If a snake bit sweet, this is by the way, so long winded this bit.
If a snake bit sweet on the dick, would you suck the venous?
Tell you guys, tell you guys what.
Edit the best parts of this bit out so that it's reasonable.
And then you can make it a clip on another channel.
Yeah.
The usable footage from that bit will be three minutes.
Maybe.
Maybe like 14, 15 seconds.
If a snake that's thrown out of the dick, would you suck the venom out if it was guaranteed to work?
No way.
Lost it at the Cortez.
You all got some change.
When Elon finally dies, catch me going stupid at the club.
Like Jim carries the mask.
Gids.
Touched Sween.
Every time he pulls his phone out.
Wolverine
It's penis
Penises
aesthetic claws
So good
Penis reed
Why did them
slowly get erected
Let's go
Bubb
You're so right
That weiner read
Is more obvious
Yeah of course
Yeah we like
Weeterine is
That's very
That's Queers of War level
You know what I mean
Where it's like
Yeah
But like
What about penis
When it's worse
It's better
Anti-comedy funny.
I can't get over how much worse penis reed sounds as a word than anything I've ever heard before.
The funny thing is, out of context, when anyone even know what you're talking about?
Maybe, maybe.
They think it was maybe like a chemical.
Like if you be like, hey, who do you think penis reen is?
I think someone will be like, hey, hey, first on the street.
I know you're, I know you're busy.
I don't have your life.
You're probably late for work.
Give me a second, please.
If you walk away, I'll shoot you.
Oh, my God.
Well, yeah, what do you want?
We should do it on the show.
We should actually do that.
We should do it on the street segment where we take like the end result of our joke and we ask people what the fuck do you think this could possibly mean.
Yeah.
You know?
That's kind of cool.
That's a great idea.
We have.
I think that would be, I think that would genuinely be so hilarious.
Yeah.
I think it would be.
We'd go viral from that.
Let's not ask.
I don't know about that.
I don't want to ask any women, though.
I don't want to ask any women because I feel like we'll get.
like charge or something. Oh maybe. Yeah. Yeah.
Go to be like, oh, it's some sexual
thing. I'm like, no, it's
penis reed. It's a joke. It is
sexual, but like not in the way you think it.
He has d's on his head.
As you're being dragged
away into like an empty van.
Yeah, yeah. As you being
that ice fucking captures you.
Ice grabs you.
Then those three spins
and slams you in the back of the
man. We have a new order.
We have a new order to deport
podcasters. You're like, well,
Damn, I'm not even
I'm not even mad, man
Oh man
We have a new order
To deport retard
I'm sorry
You just
You've made the cut
Gerald's like
This should only be one podcast
It should be mine
Right Jamie
It should be mine
Yeah whatever you say Joe
Just keep giving me money
Jamie's beating off a fucking
Sandpaper over there
Baddy boy radio
Batty boy radio
Batty boy
Divest thyself of wenches
Anoint thy flesh
With a homies hot goo
I'm Tom Sweeney
And I hate the Jews
Kevin Durant's feet
Eat my shit and hair
Oh right, right
I can't get over how crazy that is
Eat my shit and hair
Doe
Oh my god
Dr. Manlova to stop wearing
And love the cock
Fuck you
I ain't paying my TV license bitch
Mr. Pants making a fleshlight
Out of a belly button
Cardboard pie
The Rebirth of Pussy and Tims
Jolly old dipshit
The Ace of Parades
Flavor Flav can control time
With his cock
oh, this clock.
Yo, that's way better.
That's way better.
Oh, my God.
Oh, Christ.
You like to helicopters it?
I'm going counterclockwise.
And then everything goes reverse.
Is he a lot?
He's dead, right?
He's a lot.
What?
How old is he?
He's very much alive.
He's very old, though.
He felt, like, decrepit when I was a kid watching him.
He looks like.
On that show?
He looks like.
Flavor of love.
Flavor of love.
He was like he was putting
a microwave for a little bit.
100%.
He really does look like.
They look like beef jerky.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
He started dating
what's her name?
Bridget Nielsen, I think.
I don't know.
She played Drago's wife.
Yeah.
She's heir to the Nielsen dynasty.
Yeah.
She fucking.
Brigette Nielsen or something like that
or Nelson.
Whatever the fuck are dating her?
Is she crazy tall?
She's very tall.
It was an abomination of
thing. That baby would
look crazy. So it wasn't, it was like a
celebrity, because I don't think it was flavor of love. I think it was
a show where there was like
washed out celebrities were. It was like a secondary.
It was like Flavor Flavit eats Chipotle
on a beach.
You know, and that was the name of the show. If Flavre
has diarrhea in the fucking open ocean
or something like that. Yeah, yeah.
That's what I was in that show.
That's what I remember. The show, it's like Scott Bayo
is 45 and single. You remember that? Yes,
I do. Who cares? Strange love is what it was
called. Strange love, of course.
Yeah, it is strange if it's got him involved
Look at the context
Come up a lot actually today
Not a lot but like more than once which is crazy
Look at that fucking coward over
Sliver Slaves
I was thinking that and I didn't say it
You're lying I'm not even joking
What the fuck
I was thinking Slave or Slave
And like the second
But like I couldn't think of like what that would be
So I gave it out
No he's just all shackled and shit
Chains his chain his chate the clock
Slaver Slame
He's that little guy that's dancing
A bit of light when he's here
Pump it up in the basement
that we talked about last episode?
Oh my God.
We weren't talking about...
Goatman.
Derek, can I get a
hinga-diggi-d-gadig-a-gamalilah?
I don't know what any of that is.
Black Klansman.
Look at that.
Long as a highway,
I'm gonna ride him all night long.
If you're feeling so gay,
I'm gonna suck that shit till dawn,
Rascal Flats.
Captain Julk Merica,
I'm over here stroking my beetle dig.
I got lotion on my beetle dig
right now.
I'm just stroking my shit.
I'm horny as fuck, bug.
I hate that so much.
I've memorized it at this point.
Hate the beetle dick
and a little fucking,
just squirting,
fucking gay little beetle squirting
of the thought of a food or rat peepee.
Sonic fans found a way to reconciled Xbox
360 game. You guys can leave the Patreon.
You too can put it.
Hey, fuck off. Yeah, what the hell?
If they leave, that's coming out of your pain.
I'm not even tripping about it.
Come over to me.
Gay little, okay, I read that already.
Dr. Shapiro prescribing
everyone to suck on his sister's mommy milkers.
I love the idea of a doctor who sounds like that
being like, it's not looking good.
Looks like the only remedy is
You're gonna have to suck my taint
The only remedy for your fucking cancer
You suck the fuck out of my dick right now
Yeah
Long and hard
It's long and hard
And it needs a lot of work
Well not not mine
Metaphorically
It's long and hard
It's very, very flasked and very small
Very pleasant
Very flaccid and very small
The difference between my aright penis
And my non-rikeptus is
Damn it is
It's virtually impossible in the text
It is
I can tell you
right now, I don't even know most of the time.
I suppose peeing.
I put it under a microscope and I can barely even tell.
There's one stodge twitch and that's it.
Oh, my God.
It was crazy.
I'm just getting back from the hospital because, believe it or not,
a tardigrade went and stole it.
I got it back though.
I got it.
A tardigrade went off and stole my dick.
That's how small it was.
That's crazy.
You know what a tartagrade is?
No.
Tartagrade is those little microscopic like bears that exist in space.
That's what those things are called?
Yeah.
I was like,
what small-ass thing
are you talking about?
I was just like...
But they're in space?
Yeah,
that's what makes them fucking crazy.
That's what's so wild.
Those are the ones that are going to survive.
Like little bears.
Those ones that can survive
in like extreme heat
and they call them water bears.
Yeah,
water bears is what I was thinking of.
That's impressive.
That's crazy.
But yeah, they're turning.
Yeah.
Tarnagrin.
I fucking graze my dick.
I felt it.
Wow.
Whoa.
Suck my dick right off.
That's fucking crazy.
Ah, give me.
Give me.
It's me.
Your father.
please be your father please ven will be one Australian dollar
Smitty the kid
Bam
Would you do it if he asked?
No
Send the funny reels
To see you all on Instagram
I nut you know we all known for donuts
Itchibon Kassigov says play monster hunter
Post clarity nut from hell's heart
I comment D
Dr. Coffee the negotiator
Ramona Flowers and Obi-Wan cheated on their spouses
With each other
Now they're married
Yush
Huh
Get my haircut tomorrow
Good
Get my cut.
You should
call the socket.
No, I'm not going to do that.
With a Transylvanian accent,
I am Gondorlock
and you must be very wary
of my vampire penis.
Life's like this, well,
you fuck and you suck
and you gape and you stretch
at my ass
and you turn it inside.
Up, blah, blah, blah,
something else.
Craig the Canadian Joker 4,
Woker 2, back in action
needs writing.
I forgot that was the name
of that fucking thing that we did.
It's your boy, Shawnee D.
Come Titty.
Serber's agent 267
bought cargo 700
Would you rather have $1 or $2?
Damn.
Dang, it's crazy.
What a deep philosophical question.
I want $1.00 because I feel like it's a trick question.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Candy F'ser in the Avalax Pussies, Uncle Ruckus' voice,
drag them knuckles to Popeyes.
Love that you for Pappas.
I don't have a poppies in a minute.
I love Pobyes. This is a problem.
Pretty good.
I haven't had in a while.
I haven't a while either.
Lillian Jojo takes, taking bets on seeing who can pick their partner for, slurping,
stroke and smoke and joking,
and motocons going like this.
I think you'd go first.
I think Lily would get you first.
Drip M.H Lord of Aldrin.
I think we're a better chance
of more powering it.
Oh, right.
We did talk about that.
Just FYI,
the tragedy of revenge is on YouTube
and Chris was right.
It's fucking terrible.
Lull, still cool.
What was that?
The tragedy of revenge.
Oh,
the tragedy of revenge.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, put that on while you're eating
put that video out
while you're eating Chipotle
or whatever in your living room
and be ready to be entertained
thoroughly
by a fucking
half-hazedly thrown together
time weight.
I just remember something really important.
Oh, okay. Go ahead.
It's about you, man.
Do you, did you do a, let me pull this up real quick.
Oh, wait, I'm on the snark tank one.
Let me go on mine.
Mine.
Did you do a parody of Hey Delilah like a million years ago?
Pro probably.
Yeah, so like this.
Probably horrible.
So this is interesting.
Is it, this exists?
So, well,
No, so let me tell you about, so there's a guy named Jimmy D that you might be aware of because he made a, I shouted him out on the live show we did.
And, because he did the collab, Peter Man, one of the greatest YouTube poops ever.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He also did Peter Man 2 with them.
It's fucking, I'm still waiting for Peter Man 3, Jimmy.
Anyway, so he hit me up and was saying that he found, he was looking for this video of this parody that he remembers from a long time.
And he said he could not find it anywhere.
and then he recreated it himself the best that he could.
So himself in a way that I guess the person did it.
Oh, weird.
So then.
How does he know it's me?
Does he know what he?
Well, so this is how he found out.
So we did this way back thing to try to find out like he found an old video.
Yeah.
It was a Wonka one.
So yeah.
So he found an old video of you that was tied to your name, uh, mind freak C.M.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's an old video of view on the phone talking about FedEx or Slip shit.
Oh, yeah.
I don't remember.
That was your old YouTube, mind freak CM?
Yeah, I just made random shit.
I had random ass accounts all the time.
He was like, holy shit, like this leads to your name,
YouTube.com slash whatever, at least your YouTube.
Yeah, it still is technically that.
Like you could type that in.
It would take you my channel.
That's what happened.
How we found out it was this guy.
That's so funny.
This guy found.
So you did a parody apparently.
Yeah, like 2006 or seven or something.
Yeah.
And he was looking for it.
And so his main thing is he wanted you to see the video and see it like how it came out, him redoing it.
That is so fucking funny.
He also wanted me to ask like, do you possibly have that original video laying around somewhere?
No way. No shot. Like that thing is gone. Yeah. Like the original like file?
It's just kind of like very small world shit where he was, he's aware of you through the, uh, when I shouted out, people let that guy and let him know.
And then so it's just like, oh shit. And since I, I, I, uh, we follow each other.
That's why it was very easy for him to reach out.
That is so crazy.
Yeah.
Let me give you a little piece, but I'm sure because of the, you can't play the whole.
I can't play the whole thing because of the.
Sure.
Yeah.
It'll get copyright.
Yeah.
So he just like.
Wait, so he sang it?
Yeah.
So he just redid it.
And I guess it's very similar to how it was done before.
That is crazy.
That is absolutely.
Yeah, absolutely.
I did that.
That's so fucking amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is nuts.
What the fuck someone else did this?
Yeah, this is Jimmy D.
From memory?
This is, yeah.
So Peter Man, the guy that did Peter Man,
I'll keep playing a little more.
That is fucking, I have to find this now.
Yeah.
Like, I, there's no way it's, I bet that footage is exactly.
I bet he went on the maps, dude,
if I could get the exact footage.
He probably, I mean, you probably,
I bet he probably nailed it.
Because that's definitely it.
I'll send the,
the link so you can see it in its entirety.
That is nuts.
Because that is
man, is that?
No, it's not 20 years old yet.
But like that is getting there.
Disasterously old.
That was like 2007, absolutely.
And I'm just like, okay, so my question is,
or eight earliest.
Did that shit, do you remember that getting?
What the fuck up?
I just,
I have a problem with my hands being able to trigger
like a thing so easily.
I wish it was like a fail save.
because sometimes I'm like just walking
and then like I accidentally feel my finger
the tip of my finger touches something and it changes to a new video
and I'm like could it be like are you sure you want to
like I need some anyway
that is crazy um
do you remember that video went viral at all
because no I don't
not to my understanding
see because that's what weirds me out
it didn't have that many
because I'm like this guy
somehow stumbled upon your video
from a million years ago
and remembers it vividly enough to
recreate it. That's really cool. That is fucking crazy. Yeah. And this guy, he made a, he made a quick little YouTube poop of us when, because when we shouted him out. So I shouted him out in the line, I shouted out in the line. Because I still stand by Peterman being one of the greatest things ever created. Like, if you guys haven't seen Peter Man one and Peter Man two, the YouTube poops, I'm a YouTube cooom of sorts. The only, if, if, if the only reason I'd be sad of YouTube just exploded and all the servers were down would be the YouTube poops that I did extract. Right. Yeah. But anyway, um, um,
So I save everything, guys.
They call me crazy.
They call me insane.
Look at me.
Like how many great,
dude,
my phone is full of bullshit.
Yeah,
but so the issue with that, though,
is that,
like,
your phone is almost so full
as to basically not have anything on it.
Yeah.
Because it's,
it's like that,
that it's looped around
into, like,
you might as well not have anything
because how long would it take it?
Like,
if I told you,
find this thing.
Okay.
No shot.
I mean,
I don't have an example
because I wouldn't know.
Give me an example of something I would have.
Okay, find the,
um,
the,
the, um,
the pirates themed clown getting shot.
I don't have it saved on my phone.
I can find out.
I couldn't save it on my phone.
That's weird.
They don't have that said.
I've tried.
I've tried.
I've tried.
I've tried.
I can't find it in the heartbeat on YouTube though.
Yes, you can.
Everybody can finish in a heartbeat on YouTube.
But that's the whole point, right?
If YouTube goes down.
I can find an image of a swastika in a second.
It's like a, I lost a video of, it's called, it used to be called, well, it was
called Fresh Prince Gore.
And it was, there was a meta of Fresh Prince, video.
compilations of Fresh Prince things
being synced up to like metal
songs. A lot of them still exist.
I actually restored one.
I restored one called Fresh Prince
Death Metal. And I restored, I made it HD because the old one
is so like, the footage, the quality
is terrible because it's like, it came out like 2006
or something. So Fresh Prince Gore does not exist anymore.
What I did find was somebody
remix the original
and put another song in it. So I'm going to restore it
finally. I'm just going to have to like
sync it up again to the original song.
I'm so fucking happy that I found an example that I can use
because literally it's gone from the internet.
I've tried everything.
Anyway, do you understand?
What's up?
What you just did?
I just opened up a pen with boxes of memories.
I remembered.
I remembered something that I saw a long time ago.
It was like it was called Fresh Prince Gore, but it wasn't that.
Okay.
It was like, you know what when they
when they throw DJ Jazzy Jeff out the door?
Yeah, I love that.
There was like, I think where it was like the show.
show,
jazz and
Uncle Phil
fighting.
Yeah.
Him being,
you know,
it cuts that
outside shot of him
flying out.
Yeah.
And then it splices
to a guy
diving in front of a train.
Like a real,
like a real one.
A real fucking,
yeah,
it's like a lively thing.
And I just remember,
I just remember me
like that is crazy.
What's crazy
is that it was color graded.
Oh,
really?
It's like it matched.
That's,
dude,
someone really put some thought
into it.
That's cool.
Oh, man.
that was a long time ago.
That was like,
maybe 2010.
I saw that.
That's great.
Right.
Oh, you want to blow me?
That's so crazy.
I can't get over that.
I gotta see,
man.
Yeah.
I can't even fathom how old that is.
Is there a point in your guys' phone where it goes from being like just pictures of regular things or things you thought were cool to this like bullshit?
No.
I don't really take a lot of bullshit photos.
There's a hard point in like 2020 where it goes from like, oh, like pictures of me and Lily cute stuff.
Oh, a picture of a dog being sent to this base.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Anyway, Elon Musk
leaks soy from his booze
when he's happy
waiting for the sweet hunting tear
I want his pelt
Obi-Much-Bloomy
Kremlin to Gremlin
Crazy.
Horny beetle-craving
hairy squirrel girl muff
All right enough
Get Penguin Zero or Adam
from YMS
If I could get anybody
Dave Grohl singing
One of my kids is not like the other
One of my kids is not like the other
That's pretty good
One of my kids has a different mother
Oh
It doesn't work
Yeah but we can figure it up
I get what you're saying
I get what you're trying
Rip Marcus killed by a runaway
stage light
my name
my asshole
what my asshole what my asshole
chick a chick a jip seaman
wage slave 583
Ben Shapiro
vertically bisecting himself
to alienate
to eliminate
the left from his body
the Pepini brothers
present Gordon Ramsey
cleaning Asmond Gold's room
ASMR don't gunkerson
the colon swinging slasher
What if RFK casually clears his throat one day
and he talks normal afterwards
PPP all my drawings are black and white
Because I'm colorblind
Dustin
All these years
yeah what
oh
all right
so I hate vaccines
right exactly
me be fishy
limp biscuits and gravy
that is a classic
like rotten dot com
steak and cheese dude
steak and cheese
something that's just showed you on it
yes I remember that vividly
I saw it on steak and cheese
com I remember that when I was in seventh grade
limp biscuits and gravy
Sandman dot gov John Strickland
Merks 1889
Ketamine off who wins Elon or Yoda
Yoda
fucking alien?
Yoda on ketamine
is crazy.
What did he come up?
His father,
Yodad?
Yodad.
Let's go,
what was the thing
that we had
like at the apartment?
Yotis?
Oh, his hick cousin
Yotus.
Of course.
I love the idea of
Yodas.
Yotis.
Related to my
W.
You come.
the force I will.
Sister, my wife, is.
The first surgery, David, left in a cyber truck,
now skitting along the pavement in my car seat,
holding a steering wheel.
The ethereal spinning fleshlight.
Pre-Raz, Blake 896,
who do you think you are?
I am, Gay Jonah Gamason,
editor-in-achie of the Gayley Bugle,
Uncle Chip, turning into clunky salsa from his sleeping bag.
Dude, that movie was fucking crazy.
That shit's crazy.
Das Gooppy, Asmond Gold is Jesus for roaches.
I forgot about my Jared Fogel Time Machine name
and wrote a question into a book club.
They read my questions, but not my name.
Shot Young Sheldon
waiting on Derek's eventual OJ arc.
Nikki Ziggy, Dom, they're trying to spread giant worms.
Coming soon from the Snark Tank.
The only Indian-centric Manosphere podcast, Ganeshyn Fitt.
Willem de Cortex.
Sorry, Miss Jackson, badly brave.
Dog to Baby Hunter.
Ethereum needs help, lowering his weapon in Halo 3,
penis.
Naferum, Memphis 1.
You don't remember that iconic scene?
No.
dude's really upset and he's like
Oh from
Craven the Hunter
Yeah that iconic scene
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah
Rino's roar as they call it
Riding out our list
Is King of Fat Pazard
Thank you all for
Listening to another one of these
Fucking
All right bye
Thank you guys
I love you guys
Bye everybody bye
