The Snark Tank - #326: Tales From The Past

Episode Date: May 23, 2025

Jalen, an old friend of Chris and Sween joins the episode!

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and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions Sit back. You're not, he's not doing the audio? No, fuck no. Oh, okay, okay, okay. I mean, the audio probably isn't really that hard to do anymore.

It's just simply sinking them. It's the act of T, it's tedious. Yeah. You know? That's why I have Derek do it. Audio editing in general, audio editing in general sucks. Hmm? I think video editing is actually kind of cool.

I think audio sucks. Audio is easier. I mean, it is easier. It's not as cool, though. No, you, there's a, less you can do, obviously. You can just change the pitch or something. It was a lot of fun though because like

when I was, when I started editing the show I used to like really fuck with our conversations like a lot. Like if whenever, if there was a point that we were when before we had cameras, if there was a point where we were recording and maybe we talked over one another, I would simply

like, I would make it so like okay I'm gonna I'm gonna have mine go first then have Kingston's after and then Derek's last. So that way we're not talking over each other But it's a complete misrepresentation Of what the conversation was Because that's just not how it happened

You're sequencing it You're re-sequencing everything So you're not on top of each other Exactly Okay Which was fun to do But it was also tedious And no one noticed or cared

It's gonna take forever But you have a clean record No one cares about this A podcasting is they want They want raw footage And doing all those bells and whistles This is just making you age Yourself for more shit

Yeah it was a complete waste of my time Other people stream now You're streaming Like, no disrespect the streamers. I know it's tough to, like, get on there and do that every day. No, it's not. Why would you not disrespects rumors? It's crazy.

I don't, I, it takes a certain. We disrespect everybody. That's true. I'm not, I'm not, it's not the easiest thing to go on and stream because it's, you have to do it consistently to be able to be a streamer. But, like, you're not doing anything. It's not, I mean, it's not. I recently watched videos with coal miners and the, and the caves were falling down on them. crazy.

Imagine, imagine, two by fours. Dude, it's wood. It's fucking wood. Wood against the earth. Wait,

what are you talking about? You've never seen coal mining? Of course I haven't seen coal mining. What are you talking about? I've never, I've never seen any mining videos. Exactly. Just in passing.

You never seen coal mining in general? In passing? In passing. They're on their like, their knees. Getting through small holes, this is why used to use kids. Where you're kidding.

Hyperbenefit. They use kids? You didn't know they used the children for coal mining? I don't understand. I thought kids couldn't work. I mean, a lot. A lot of law. I actually think that's true.

Actually, yeah. The child labor laws, I think they got cut to like 13. Actually, not kidding. Well, you know, kids got to keep busy. Yeah, man. Especially like with all that TikTok, you know? Maybe time in the mines wouldn't be so bad.

They come out and their lungs are black. Their lungs are pinked. White men come out of cold minds looking like fucking Ghanaians. I think at that point. Welcome to Stark Tank Podcast. Welcome to Star Trek podcast. It's me, Chris. It's him, Kingston.

And Derek's not here. Derek's gone. We're doing a special episode. I'm Derek now. Yeah, he's Derek now. Don't say that because you're glad. I was going to say you're Derek. Oh, okay.

Well, I mean, I used to pop in a hand now and then. Back on your shows in those early days. That's right. Yeah. You used to be in a lot of them. Yeah. You had a few. I'd slide in there. Yeah. We did, I know for a fact you were in, do you remember when I got that weird snack box from Japan? Oh yeah. You had those terrible snacks. Were they bad or good? I feel like they were bad. I feel like I remember them being really not good. Yeah. That was in our Glendale apartment. That was when we all lived together. That was exciting. That was a good time. Remember when our window got shot out?

I was gone for both times. Yeah. Yeah, he wasn't there. I wasn't there both times, which is mega suspicious. I still don't know if I've been lied to, quite frankly. Because it's mega weird that it happened both times when I just happened to be home. Would you believe those cats were doing what they were doing behind? Oh, my phone. Dude. It would sound like right outside my window, too.

It sounds like the grease versus the sharks out there, but it was just cats. Fuck it. Dude. I thought they were abusing each other with the most strength. They were fucking. It was brutal cat fucks. Yeah, like there was like a cat breeding ground outside of our building. Right in the alleyway, right.

I swear to God, I could have, if I fell out of my window, I would have landed on them. You guys were making it sound pleasant. It was brutal. No. It was, it was. Cats are very vocal, you know, like they have a lot of range. That Whitney Houston type shit. It's impressive, dude.

At least fucking 09-O-9 Adele type shit. It's fucking, it's insane. sounds those poor things make. It was such an unreasonable time. Yeah. Like that apartment was hot. How was our window getting shot out, considering that that person would have to go through those cats?

That's what I was wondering. What confuses me is that we had a third floor, technically fourth floor apartment. Because it was the lobby, I think, which was no apartments. I think it was just like that weird, awkward, like, hallway, the garage and the mail room. I remember to lay out of that place.

I remember to lay out of that place. It was so peculiar. I went back there a couple, like a year or two ago to film. Because I used that building for the outside facade for where I live, wherever I live now. Because like I don't need... I'm not going to show my current place. You know what I mean?

But it's a good looking building for like an establishing shot of like a show. Yeah. But that first floor is fucking crazy because it's, it is just a narrow hallway and then an elevator mailboxes and then nothing. Well, you forgot the vending machine. That's right.

There was a venue. Remember we got those soaps and stuff, right? Well, no, we got the orange, what the squirt in the Canada, the cactus coolers. Cactus coolers. I remember. Oh, my God. Nothing like a cactus cooler when you're broke. It was nice.

Oh, my God. Those were times, man. Remember the no washing machine? We had to wash at Joe in fucking whiskey's place. Did we do that? Yeah, we did. We had no washing machine? We had no washing machine.

Wait, did we really not have washing machine? We were in a bad way. There was no washing machine. How did we do our laundry? We didn't have many clothes. I don't know. We didn't have much clothing. I could have swore we had like some in you.

We walked to Joe to do our laundry. I mean, it was granted, it was maybe a two minute walk. I would have that seems too. I'm pretty sure we didn't have like a laundry. We didn't go to a laundromat. No, we didn't. Right. So, no, I think you guys are right.

Oh my gosh, speaking of a laundromat. Remember Andrew? Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna, and I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side.

For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive, so we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did.

We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change in our technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there.

What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for indeed sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications,

and everything else you're looking for. Or go a different way. and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a higher than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.

And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves. at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. And then that girl, what do you mean?

That peed on your bed? Oh, my God. I wasn't going to talk about that. I didn't want to go into that memory. That day was so hilarious. That was just an insane day. Was that the day after she tried to, uh, force herself on Joe?

Yeah. Yeah, okay. These are the memories. That was only 12 months too. Isn't that crazy? I don't even think it was 12 months. I don't even think it was 12 on being honest. It was a year, I think.

It was a year. I felt like three years. I felt like a lot of struggle. We had so many people in our apartment at different times. That house was. Yeah, we had a homeless guy living with us for a little bit. Right? Yeah.

We had Justin in there. We had Justin. We did have Justin. We had that Justin. We had our friend Francis living there for a while. Barb? Huh? Barb.

Barbara? Oh, yeah, Barb lived there for a while. That was a crazy. And that was not a big space. That's why I'm thinking that had to be years because they like, everybody was there for so long. No. The extras. They were there for like maybe like a couple of months each.

That's crazy. Maybe maximum. That house was the beginning of what the absurdity of living out here as an adult would become. Yeah. Yeah. Things have toned down a lot for all of us. We're kind of in stable places.

Like, we're all in a stable place. Yeah. But, like, it was just such an insane series of situations that living in that Glendale was. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think all of L.A. in those early times didn't even feel real. Like, it was all, like, very much so a sitcom. Plus, we had people in and out like a sitcom. Like, there was always something happening.

Yeah. If you walk in, people were always doing something. It didn't feel. like a real place at all. And there was always some weird thing going on. Like, you remember that mattress that had like, remember that mattress that was outside our building for, for like months that just had bugs written on it?

Yeah. Pen? Yes. Not even like marker or like paint or anything. It was like pen. Like someone went over it a bunch of times to make sure it was thick enough. Do you remember we put up the mattress ourselves too?

That's right. Remember in the middle of how you put out a mattress? It was like at maybe 1 a.m. Oh, because remember that? Oh, because we didn't know how to legally get rid of it, right? So we just all went down in the middle of the night and put a matchout on a, away from our block. Like, not even on our block.

It was a different block. And then we ran back home in the middle of the night. A drop dead sprint. We walked it. We walked it down the street so that it wouldn't be connected to us. Yeah. Yeah. We were absolutely just hooligan children living on our own.

Oh, yeah. I got all of my furniture from off the street and from other people. I had two couches in my bedroom at one point And I bet I did remember that And it wasn't a big bedroom at all It was in fact small Your area you had to be on one of those items of furniture

To be in that room I think I remember what that? You had to get in on one of those Right You just get in and get on the thing The one thing I remember specifically was that my room Was 10 degrees hotter Than everybody else's room

Because the layout of the apartment It was like the whatever, supposed to be the patio, that gray sludges area. And then it was the kitchen over here. And the AC was on the window. The AC hit everything. So it was just passing your room. The AC hit everything. It hit the bathroom.

It hit your room. It hit the living room. Hit the kitchen. Skipped me entirely. Yeah. I went to bed with like an oscillating fan under my, under my sheets for like months. You made. a fort that had an oscillating fan.

I just couldn't get cold enough. And that was back when it was actually hot in L.A. all the time. All the time. Yeah. It's not like now where like... The weather's changed so much here too. That's crazy to think about how much like the weather's toned down because it gets really hot for like a day or two. Yeah. But then it calms down. But when you first got here like summer was like hell.

It was actually hell. I was out there. It was like terrible. It was like a hundred. Remember the 116 weekend? I was a mailman. And it was just brutal. That's right. You were a mailman. I was tortured. Because before I moved out here, when you guys just came out here, you were a mailman. I remember you would call me because you'd be fucking near hysteria.

Honestly, like, that job was driving me crazy. I get it. I just got to do this. I'm exhausted. And I still was broke. And I was there seven days a week. Dude, it's crazy. Yeah, you worked on weekends sometimes.

Yeah, yeah. That's so crazy. They made a deal with Amazon to deliver packages on Sundays. Are you serious? Yeah. Yeah. So that way we could work seven days a week. That is next level of stuff, man.

Yeah, it's a great... You know, for somebody. It really is like... For somebody. It's fun for everybody but us. Everybody else. Man, that is... Ninety-eight percent of the population.

You know, I was looking at that video of when... What is it? Tom Sweeney hates the gay? It's the first one that we did. Oh, my God. And it was like, it started with like a tour of the apartment. And I'm glad I have that video still because I would have forgotten a lot of details.

But we had like... We had a pot of water Just in the fridge You are you kidding Why was that there? I swear to God If you watch that video again It's just there's just

A pot of water Freestanding open It's like not a litter Anything And I think it's because like We didn't have a filter on our sink Oh my God Boil clean water

I think either we did that That was Are we in fucking Puerto Rico In the mountains What the fuck is going on? You know I swear that water was making us sick, though. It was making me sick.

Dude, every time I drank the water, I just, I felt gross. Right. That's why we drank Red Bull. Remember when we were just drinking Red Bull? Yeah. My heart can't take it anymore. Dude, oh my God.

We were addicted to Red Bull for a little bit. Oh my God. I remember. I remember you went to San Fran. I went to Sacramento. For a date because I was dating. Isn't that farther up? Yeah, a little further.

Because I went on a date with a Red Bull. ambassador. Oh wow. Yeah, we had a date in a castle and I had swordfish for a first time. It wasn't good. Yeah, it doesn't sound like it would be good. But I came back with a case of Red Bull. Never saw her again, but I got a case of Red Bull. Big case. So brought it back. We all had Red Bull forever. And if you're thirsty, drink Red Bull. Yeah. It was bad. We were drinking Red Bull because we were thirsty. It was cheaper than water because we had it for free. We had it for free. We could have You'd either buy a Britta filter and then constantly change it or get a case of water which costs some money or just drink the Red Bull that we had.

I didn't have some money to buy it. I was like, well, I had to filter out the water from the Red Bull if I wanted straight water. I'd have to simmer it out. There you go. And then put it in a fridge to have water. Absolutely. Dude, it's looking at that, I wish the photo of that fridge or what was inside of that fridge. Or what was inside of that fridge in that video?

It was a box of baking soda. It was water. Let me look it up. Hold on. Let me find it while you today. I really don't want to revisit that fridge. It's going to look like sadness. No, man, it looks so. Hello, hello.

I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?

Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah.

My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large. large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there.

What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for indeed sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications,

and everything else you're looking for. Or go a different way, and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.

And listeners of this show will get a $75-sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves. at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. Do you look back at that?

Because I've lived quite a few places now. I've lived like there, the second place. There was the one that me and Chris lived afterwards. And then after that it was with me and Joe. Yeah. Then me, I mean, and Justin. Me, I mean, and Dre. And now with Lily.

Yeah. So I've lived quite a few places now. It's like, fuck. Oh, my God, that's real. I remember that pot. Oh, my God. The fucking mostly empty container and eggs. That's crazy, guys.

Two eggs left. It's on this channel. It's like, what is it? A minute and 14 seconds in. But like, man, that fridge. Oh, there it is. There's the bigger one. Look at that fridge, dude.

Is there one beer? It's just a spot. What's like that? So there's one pot with a lid on it. No clue what that could be. If I was past. Limes? They keep scurvy away.

And then one loose beer, dude. And an empty container of eggs with actually, I think, no eggs in it. Screenshot that because I don't think anybody in my life actually believes that, like, we actually were down bad. We lived like, we were like, nah, it was always fine. It's really crazy to think about, like, that is my worst fear again, being that poor. Really? Chris, I don't think you remember how poor I was, Chris. Because I couldn't pay rent for so long.

I was so poor. I do remember that. I was so poor. It was insane. I think about that. I'm like, if I get that poor again, I'm going to have to die. I don't know. Like, even if Lily makes really good money, but if I was that,

Poor again. I'd be like, Lily, I can't be around you like this. I'm no good to you. I got to die. I'm a writer, a letter to be like, hey, girl, I'm too poor to be alive. I'm sorry. Hopefully I see you in the next life and I would kill myself under the bed. It's got to be on a great hallmark card, though.

Like a really nice homemark card. It's like she thinks I'm just like saying I love you or something. Right. And it's my suicide note I leave her. You crawl under the porch or something like a dog? Right. P.S. I stole this card and they know where to.

find you. So you got to put this on your credit card because I'm so poor I can't afford it. You stole it with her credit card. Which I stole from you first. I put it back in your bag though. I put it back in your bag. I dropped it off. Sorry. It's just an auriboros of thievery.

The whole thing. It's just why poor people stay poor and it's like, hey man, bye, I love you. Bye, I love you. Sorry. The most upsetting part of that to me was like I was still working all the time. Yeah, same, dude. There was like no.

I was hitting like 38 hours a week and I was just, with the minute, because I have, I think of how many bills I have now. And like, I don't know if I had the amount of bills I have now, making what I was making then, I'd be like, oh, I have to become a drug lawyer. I just wasn't paying my bills. It was like, it was like, I was saying, I can't pay this. It was either survive or pay bills.

So it's like, I think I just, I'm going to survive. I'll pay the bill when they, turned my shit off. Right, exactly. When it gets real bad, they'll turn it off and then I have to. I won't have a bill. I won't have a bill. I did that just to see what it was like. Student loans? I'm so blessed. I have no student loans.

I really think about how lucky I am. That's a lot. I'm done with it. I don't have any. That's amazing. Yeah, I paid off all mine in a while. Did you have that much though? No, I didn't have like a crazy. Because you went for two years, right? Yeah, I only went for two years. It was enough to be like, that sucks. But like, it wasn't, it was definitely doable.

You know, it was less than 10, right? I'm guessing. I think so, yeah. I don't even remember how much it was because it's gone now. You know, I had literally none. I had no student loans at all. My grandma paid for me getting my first one. And then by the time I started the second one,

I got like, I got FAFSA for the help. But this was we started making like not even good money, like just some money at all. They were like we can't have that anymore. Were you going to school when you first got out here? Were you just at Starbucks? I was at Starbucks when I first got out here and then we moved the Olive like halfway through

I started going to school again. Because I was trying to go to school forever because I remember. I didn't have my papers to go to school because you were going to start school again too for a while. And I didn't have some sort of certification but I was like I've been living here for like seven months. They're like, I'm sorry we can't prove you live here.

Oh, she. So I had to wait until I had at least a year of me living here to go to school again. So I went to school then. And I finished when, like a little bit into living in a place with Joe. I finished my second degree. Really? Oh, okay.

Okay, I remember that. I have an associate's degree in biology and I have a social degree and like, I don't know, liberal arts. Yeah. So anybody out there's trying to get a degree, just get it. It's clearly very easy.

It's really not that hard. It's just a lot of time. That's it. Is this unnecessary time? It's a time sync. Everything is. Is this a receipt that lets me know that you're willing to suffer and go poor?

Yeah. To not really gain knowledge, to look at a book for a while. Dude, I remember, I just remember that time being so strange because I just, I remember, that was the,

apartment I had alcohol poisoning in. Yeah. Bro. You were so bad. It was crazy. And that was when you... I came like an angel descending upon you. You gave me a bowl of water.

A bowl of water. Yeah. Because it was the biggest container we had. It was a bowl. That wasn't a pan. That was in a pot. The pot was being used, clearly. Yeah, it was busy.

That had fresh water. We can't give you fresh water. We gave you sink water. Nice sink water mixed with red water. You have a little... I went in there and I was like, you're all right. And I was like, uh, and I was like, I was like, I was right. And I closed the door.

He's right, man. Don't worry. I didn't know. I didn't think you were that. Because you were drinking with us the whole time and you didn't seem to me you were drinking that much. But then at a certain point, you started just looking like unwell. And I was like, he's eye, bro.

We're all drinking. It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. Was this before after I was dating Lily? I think it was before I was dating a little bit. This is probably a little bit before. Yeah. And I was like, he's eye, dude.

I don't know, man. I never had an alcohol problem, but I don't, back then especially, like, I didn't want to, like, if I was going, I was like, well, I might as well continue. You know what I mean? If I was drinking at all, I think I viewed it like, I'm already poisoning myself. So if I poisoned myself for no gain, what the fuck is the point? Right, right. So I'm going to keep doing it until I'm drunk. Because that's the point.

That's the point, right? I was well, Pat. I used to walk around. How I would drink when I let the fish go? How would just down beers like a fucking animal every time at the parties? I would down beers and fail at talking to girls. That was my fucking M.O. It's back hole. The classic. Is that why you ran away?

Oh, my fucking God. That's why I left Fish Kill. Oh, no. I left Fish Goal because I was a jackass. I want to independence. And then I came here and was just destitute for a while. With no plan at all. Density for a while. Listen, you got to do anything to get out of Fish Kill. Yeah. Yeah. I... Although, to be fair, I didn't really have much of a plan either.

I mean, it just, it's life. Because you came to me, what, like two weeks before you left? Yeah. Three weeks. And I, it was amazing. because I called them, I'll never forget. And on the phone, I said, hey, I'm moving across the country in like three weeks. I need somebody to drive with me. Are you down?

And he was like, uh, uh, okay. He like, he took two, three seconds and was like, yeah, this is, this sounds good. Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta. we discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.

It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature.

My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos.

Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed, sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for. Or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, This is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit

to help your job get the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. Three weeks. Pack up everything we had.

Getting to a way too old car and drive a classic country. What was that car that you drove? It was a 2005 Honda Accord. Dude, can I tell you something? In my memory, that is a 1988 for Taurus or something. That car was so old, Jay-Ly. It was bad. It literally, the way...

Wasn't it, like, tilted, kind of to the side? I wouldn't be surprised, because the way it finally started to go was, like, I'm at a light, and I, light turns green, I press the gas, and the front axle snaps. Like, what lets you turn the wheel? just snaps, right? So if that happened on the highway or something, went careening into a car that we pushed back home, right? Yeah, we pushed it into like somewhere.

I don't know where we pushed it. Like a jiffy loob or something like that? Yeah, and then I used like my last $500 to buy a moped. And so I had a moped. Oh, that's right? I totally forgot that you had that thing. This is living at Hilda, right? Yeah.

Yeah, this must have been at Hilda. Yeah, yeah. That is so hilarious. I forgot that you had a moped. I had a moped for something. That scar? The scar? From the moped?

No, maybe. I don't know what my scars are from at this point. Just like the things that happen. Did I remember that day like it was yesterday when you crashed it? Yeah. That was crazy. I called an Uber. I left the thing there and just like I'm going home.

I remember that. Because you called me and Lily and we were like doing whatever the fuck you were doing. Yeah. Some stupid shit. And then you were like you came back in and we were like, what happened in him? And I was like, oh, we crashed. You walked into that. apartment and I was like scared

so I was like what it looked like the mob had found you or something like you looked like you were put through the ringer dude you were by yourself oh my god I asked you for a joint I was just like you had any weed to smoke I just need to relax

did I have any? You had those ones you got from those parties remember you got in a fucking tube oh that's right yeah I had a lot more weed back then yeah I think yeah and then I had that watching Dave Chappelle, good laugh. And I totally forgot about this. Yeah, but there's a lot of stuff,

memories that happen in Hilda or around Hilda. It feels like so much more things happened there. Like, I feel like... More things happened there than we remember for sure. I think Olive felt weird because it felt like it was... We were a little bit more together in Olive. Slightly more. So, like, we had a lot of...

I think Hilda was a ton of fun because we meet up in the intersection of our, like, rooms and lay down on the ground on the hot carpet and just talk about craziness. Yeah. I mean, that's in that video, basically. That's the start of that situation of us doing that. That video. There's like some video that I posted a long time ago of us just kind of talking in that

that space. Like in that space. Okay. Because I think I just had the camera on and I was like, I don't know, I needed to film, I needed bullshit to throw in the middle of like videos that I was making because that was the only way that I knew how to transition between things. Just throw people non-sequitives That had nothing to do with anything

Perfect That was insane Yeah so it's the I think you had like a That was the bag sword or something We invented characters There was somebody with a bag sword There was a guy backflip like out of tanks

Oh my god Yeah he would get really close people with tanks Where he's wagon blow him up Yeah There was a little kind of a fire escape The classic one Classic guy Kid on the Fire Escape

The Kid on the Fire Escape The Kid and the Fire Escape The Kid that falls off is on video I have that Okay that's good That idea is one of the most insane ideas ever because this is a little kid trying to help

and then trying for me. Yeah. We had a, I feel like, I feel like when we moved into the second apartment, uh, that wasn't under duress. Because we moved in that first place,

kind of under duress. Like, not necessarily under duress, but like, we only found it because I was outside screaming. You remember that? Yes, I do remember that.

Like, I was outside, like we were, came up to you and said, Hey, I have a plate. I couldn't help it over here. Yeah,

I couldn't know it over here. Uh, uh, the landlord Everett. Yeah. We had like a, I was outside, like, on the phone with my parents or, like, I was on the phone with my mom. I was like, these people out here don't know how to do anything. Like, what the fuck is?

Why is everybody out here so stupid? Because I think we had seen a place. We'd seen like three places. We'd seen so many places. You remember that place that... We walked in, there was nobody there. We walked in. They were like, you've got first...

You've got priority, right? They said, like, you've got priority on this place. And I was like, great. Let's sign the fuck. It was like a townhouse. Yeah. It was nice. It was so awesome.

I would have loved to have lived there. But, like... We probably would have kept it and had like still great pricing. Yeah, dude. It was a good place. I imagine how much it costs now. Holy crap. Probably a lot, actually.

You know, what are they charging for Hilda now? That garbage. They're charging what I'm paying kind of right now. You're lying. And now I'm not kidding. For that fucking terrible apartment, they got no air. Doesn't cool down. Doesn't cool down.

Paper machet walls. Paper mash. Do you remember the noise complaints we would get? We get noise complaints constantly. He was doing you a fuck. We would just get them again. I remember there was an old Asian. Man that came up once.

Yeah, yeah. He's like, can you quiet down? I was like, I don't. That was on a day we weren't even being loud. So, like, I didn't even understand like what was happening. I was like, buddy, it gets so much worse. Right. It gets so much worse.

Just wait. It gets so much worse. We're not even playing video game. Remember the Skyrim days? Oh, we would have a Skyrim. We'd have a Skyrim land party. That is so stupid. Skyrim.

Everybody. You were doing it too. You were playing some TVs over to our trash home. I remember I brought Lily over. for a Skyrim party. She was like, what the fuck is this? He's like, are you guys playing together? It was like, in theory. Theory, we're around each other. We're all

playing. The idea that we all got together and played Skyrim separately. It's crazy. Listen, no regrets. I'll do it again. I have no problem. I'll do it today. Bring some TVs over to the pad. We could do it right now. You got a spare TV?

You got a spare monitors? We just had spare monitors lying around. I do have spare TVs. I'm trying to explain to my girlfriend now that, yeah, we need spare TVs. Like, it just doesn't make sense to her. But to me, I'm like, just in case, you know. Someone comes over. Someone comes over and brings their console with them.

Why not let's play some fucking Skyrim? Dude, I have a spare PlayStation now. There you go. I've got my old PS5 just sitting there. Yeah, I've got spare PlayStation, maybe a spare Xbox. Maybe somewhere. I need a TV. I have an Xbox Series S in my parents' house.

I have, I have like multiple Nintendo. Twitch is in my house. That's about it. Because Lily has one. I have one. And then I have the one that I was supposed to give to Lily, but she ended up getting her own before that. Oh, my God. You know I just remembered about that apartment that you slept on that futon that was broken for months. Oh, yeah. And you refused to fix it.

Yeah. You were just sleeping on the ground with like, it works. It works. That thing did not work. It got it. That was so non-functional. It was inferior. It worked in in terms of being off the ground.

It worked in terms of being. something that wasn't the floor. Right. It wasn't the floor. But you might as well just had a man on the floor, though, at a certain point. I don't even know why we even went with the facade that we even had something akin to a futon. We were just pretending to have a futon at a certain point. We were just like, yeah, we got it together. Look, we got like a living room area.

Yeah. They, like, didn't function because so much it was taken up by that crazy desk. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new job. director of research, Jake M. Beta, we discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.

Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right?

My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos.

Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed, sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for. Or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit

to help your job get the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. Oh my God. Remember breaking that desk apart?

Remember how liberating it was destroying that desk? I don't even remember this at all. You don't remember breaking that? desk. So we had a, you brought it in, right? No, it was, it was whiskey, me, and, um, and Jill that brought it in. But it was Kevin's desk. Yeah. It was off. That thing was so heavy. It was crazy. In retrospect, that was probably the most expensive piece of furniture that we had ever even remotely come into contact with because it was such a heavy, like, mahogany desk almost.

Yeah. That's like, clearly. All made of one piece of wood, you know, like, yeah, like carved. That's like something that's in your like office in your fucking home. Not even our home It's like our grandfather's home Like that's where like Your grandfather type writes And we just took like I don't even know how we busted it over

I know we busted one of the drawers Because one of the drawers was locked Oh it's locked Because one of our friends left it with us And then just never had any indication That he was gonna take it back He got the port hit essentially Well regardless

Regardless of who took who away Let's not get into specific It wasn't like he was just like, oh, whatever, you know, he had to leave. Right, whatever. The point is that desk was sitting in our apartment for fucking ever. And it was like barely, I think we tried to use it kind of. Actually, no. Somebody slept behind it.

It was like a, it was like a separating room for the other guy. We had a homeless, we had a homeless person living behind, like, in the corner. Behind the desk. I love that somebody else is here to corroborate that this is real because it sounds so fucking fake. It's three sources. That's insane. My entire life sounds fake. My entire life sounds like that.

Yeah, we lived in an apartment with like a homeless guy living behind a desk in our living room. Yeah. He lived behind the desk. In fairness, I rarely saw him because he was behind the desk all the time. You know? But that was real. That was like a real thing that happened to us. That was such an insane period of time.

Because one of my coworkers, right? He just got put out. And I was like, man, I'm not doing good. But at least I'm not homeless. Homeless, right. It is crazy, though, in retrospect, that you as somebody who wasn't paying rent offered a space in our apartment. I didn't offer.

I asked. I asked before I did that. I made sure I was like, hey, I live with people. I can't just break someone here exactly. Let me ask. I guess I didn't mind because it wasn't like I had things. I didn't feel like I had things that were important. Like I stopped everything in my car, drove across the country.

And we slept in a Walmart parking lot with the doors open with all of our thing. Everything to our name. That is true. You guys didn't get robbed. We didn't care. There's our other friends that moved the same time got robbed twice. We looked like we were homeless. We looked dangerous, kind of.

Because like our car was beat up. We were sweating. We were dirty. Sweating. We bathed in the bathroom. We bathed in the bathroom. You guys don't take fucking bird baths headwalk. Literally,

we took the sink and splashed ourselves. Right. Literally. We splashed ourselves clean. Let's get clean for a minute. That was in Illinois that we did that? I think it was Illinois. Maybe.

But we also camped. I don't want to talk about that. I don't forget about that one. That camping, that camping shit really pissed me off. You guys tried to camp? No. We didn't try.

We, we barely. I pitched the tent in the dark. We got in. inside like Abraham Lincoln Forest and in Illinois and um we had we pitched a tent in the dark out from exhaustion he stayed away for six hours so we we did it has been sounding fake for a while you know what are you guys doing just you guys because we couldn't say in a hotel I had $200 to my name I think that was all I had Pull into a parking lot. You guys can't just can't.

Parking lot where we'd be seeing? Brilliant. People, but I think you can't. You guys go and just sleep in the darkness. You know how uncomfortable tents are that aren't prepared to be comfortable? In the woods. It was on the ground in the woods. We had no sleeping bags.

So we literally laid on the ground with a thin layer of tent over it. He passed out immediately. I was awake the whole time because all I was thinking of, We're going to get all of our stuff stolen and something's going to kill it, eat us. Or I'm going to be raped and killed or something. Some fucking horrible thing. And then in the middle of the night, while he's passed out, I hear fucking sniffing. I hear animals.

You heard sniffing? I heard animals. What are you? Oh, my God. I heard. And I look over at Jayland. Jaylen's passed out like a baby. I was too exhausted to care about dying.

He was sleeping sound comfortable. He was so fucking. He was like a cherub. It was fucking ridiculous. I've never seen somebody sleep. So. soundly while I was in sheer pet.

We have never been here in the state or in this forest. I never been in Illinois. I'd never been camping like that, especially with nothing. Nothing. And it was dark when I put it together. It wasn't put together right. There's animal sniffing

outside. I'm just like, I'm not, I can't be at peace. Right. Did it feel like a big animal or did it feel like a small animal sniffing? Irrelevant. That wasn't relevant to my feeling. It was a beast that was curious, which was more than I, more suspicion than I want to do arouse ever. I can't do that. I think it was bigger, though.

My hunch was that, because it sounded hefty. You know, and so I was like, at best, it's a deer. At worst, it's a bear. Dude, we had a series of unfortunate events that entire trip. That whole drive was truly insane. We did it fast as hell. Two and a half days. That is literally insane.

Two and a half days, we made it from New York to L.A. That is almost max speed Yeah, max speed Very limited breaks And we did stop A couple times

Because we did stop at that Like a hotel Like a We stopped at the hotel once Because you got sick Did I get sick? You got sick? Remember what we were eating?

Remember what we were eating the entire time? Oh my God Do you remember that cold? Do you know that cold Subway sandwich? I was going to get to that sandwich I said it sucks so bad

We stopped at a subway In the middle of our drive Because it was like the only thing But like that was possible to stop at. And we stopped off and I was like, yeah,

let me get a steak and cheese because it was just I needed something hot and like, with like, I needed meat and just something, right? And they were like,

hey, so the, so the toaster's not working. And I was like, so it's a cold steak and cheese sandwich? And they were like, yeah. And I was like,

fine. We only had some Gatorade energy gummies. We had a, like a box of nuts and a box of little bites. and a few red bulls. That was our preparation for meals.

I don't try. We were going to make a bunch of sandwiches, and then we just didn't. We didn't do it. I don't know what happened. Maybe we didn't have time. We could have just made the time. We just didn't do it.

We could have just, like, I think we were just eager to get out. And by the time we had the planned... Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambata.

We discussed his vision. for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?

Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first Volt-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.

To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for indeed sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, everything else you're looking for. Or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously,

sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. To make sandwiches, it was already like, it's tomorrow. We could just, let's just go. We'll figure it out.

But yeah, those Gatorade Energy Gummies, which I'm still fat, I stouted it, are even real. I think they stopped selling them. I didn't see. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've I haven't seen them in a long, maybe ever. I've only ever seen them that one time I bought. I feel like you guys are talking about them. I don't think they're real. I thought you guys are imagining them. Maybe, man, there's a lot of shit that it feels like we imagined.

Like that wall of rain. The wall of rain we drove into. That attacked us. That trucker that almost tilled us. Right. The fog. That was the densest fog I've still seen. Dude, seeing dense fog is creepy.

That was actually insane. Because it was always dense. Okay. Do you remember our friend. Vanessa? Yes. Yes. There was always fog by I remember there was always fog by her house. No. You don't remember they're being fog by her house? I would have never went back. I would have marked her as a witch and said we're done. I went there. There was one time I stayed over at her house for some

reason. I don't know why. Maybe I was with Elliot. But I stayed over there and I remember looking outside her house. I was like, I'm in this place where I've, I know this person, best person, four times. I'm just at this. I'm downstairs. They're upstairs doing whatever the fuck they're doing and I'm just in this place I don't know why I'm here I should have just went home there was a few times like that with Elliot where I was like why am I here right now it brings me to somebody's house I was in I told the story here I was in fucking what's a place called Woodstock with Elliot and it was I was the I why have I gotten taken the Woodstock with Elliot as well you've been there with him too yes too to hang up with it was always saying it was a

random girl that I was like I don't know the I was there with him and it was me and Troy I think Troy Barker or Tony Barker, that comedian guy, the I actually famous comedian, me and him are the only black people there. We were smoking a blunt together. Oh, nice. And you were like, what the fuck are we doing? He was like, man, I was here for a show. I was like, I was just following my fucking friend. I don't know what this place

seems insane. Woodstock? Yes. I've been there twice. That place is I've never been to Woodstock. It looks like, it looks like the, how do I describe it best? You know the plaza, the plaza like fucking shopping areas? Yeah. Sure. It looks like a town of that. That sounds like that copyplace.

Like a strip mall? Yeah. It looks like a town. Like there's a strip mall. Like a big strip mall became a town somehow. Can I ask you something? Do you remember this like I do in Kansas? Yeah.

We were driving through Kansas. And I feel like we passed the same town over and over again. Yes. Do you remember this? Yes. And we are comments. on that was like Kent it's taking forever to get through Kansas and it really did and we hit a lot of stuff in Kansas it feels like the majority of archer was Kansas somehow right that that's where um

I uh we stopped because my my car was like in rough condition right so I was like worried about if we use the AC for too long I was like we might need motor oil pulled over to the gas station that's how I saw a cowboy and uh a cashier they really didn't like me uh so So I had to leave with zero help. After walking in, walked out. Where was I? You were in the car. I walked in.

I asked them for like, hey, where's there a motor oil? Him and this cowboy, the catcher in the cowboy, just looked at me like, this is not where you're supposed to be. And they said nothing to me. And I was like, all right. So I went to the back, look for the moral oil. I think I found it, but I was like, I'm not going to go to the cash register. and say anything to these people because I'm getting real bad vibes. Right.

So I left. We turned around. We just left. And I was like, all right, we're just going to, hopefully the car works. That's crazy.

It's just the best outcome probably. Yeah. It probably is. I felt like that was the dud. I've never been to Kansas before. I never, I want to go across country. There's nothing to see.

I want to cross country. Is that where we did the illegal you turn for all those police officers? We did the legal you turn because I was driving without knowing where I was going. Oh my God. So we got into Kansas City and I fell asleep. And I'm holding the phone, I guess, with the GPS. And instead of waking me up, he drives. I felt so bad because he hadn't been sleeping.

He drives in circles in Kansas City for like hours. I didn't know I was in circles. And then I finally woke up and I was like, where are we? He was like, oh, Kansas City. And I was like, we're still in Kansas City. The sun's almost down. He was like, yeah, you look like you were like, real at peace

I was in I was seeing you at peace at hours I guess it was Kansas City so it wasn't that long after Illinois but like fucking man it's rough man

that was crazy I think that was like when I passed out after the camping because I didn't sleep so I was like you're driving yeah

yeah because I didn't sleep at all I was like being sniffed on by bears and shit oh man that was a drive yeah that was bad

and I remember I was so sick when we finally got to L.A. there's a picture somewhere of us getting to LA the day we got there. And I looked so ill. That was such a rough.

That was such a, like, I, dude, I remember you guys being like, yeah, we made it. And I was like, oh. Yeah, we weren't even happy. We were just. No, I took a cold shower. It was the only time in my life that I took a cold shower ever. Because I think I had a fever and it was 106 degrees.

Oh, my God. I never used the AC. Do you remember we were all in that house for a pit of time when we first moved out here? Oh, we were rooming with Joe and we were like seven of us. And Ellie, it was in a two bedroom. Seven of us in a two bedroom. and we would turn the AC on. And I remember being at the time,

I remember at the time being like, I will pay for the A, I will literally foot your bill for the AC. Please let me just let me just let me use it. Just let me use it. And I would turn it on.

And then they would, Joe would wake up like a zombie in the middle of the night. I'm not even convinced he was conscious when he did this. I've seen him do it. Yeah. He said, oh, the bill.

Turned it off. He wakes up, he woke up saunter over like a, in my memory, he didn't even walk to it. It was like, you know, when people walk,

there's like, kind of like an up and down motion to them. It's like it was like he glided like a like a fucking rate backer of some sort. Over to the AC and shut it off. And I remember always hearing that click being like no. No. Deer falls down my fucking face. Such a fucking.

That carpet was riddled with grief. I've never. Dude, remember when they cleaned it and it was still terrible? Wait, they cleaned that car. Yes, they cleaned it. No way. They didn't clean that carpet.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. When, like, someone came and cleaned it. I forgot what we were doing, we were, like, filming a movie for their graduations like that. And at that period of time, they had, like, people come in and cleaned it. You're right. He said we paid to have it cleaned. And we, like, I remember a car. Right.

And I was like, this is a clean car. It looks sick. They got robbed. What's crazy about that apartment? I don't think it was a cleaner's fall. I think they could do all they could. What's crazy about the apartment that Joe, because you live there with whiskey and Joe for a while. When we first got to L.A., I stayed in L.A. for like three months, and I couldn't find a job, and then so I moved back home. And then when I came back, that was when we lived in that, we lived in the same place with seven other people for like a brief period of time. But I remember...

Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smart? her business. My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind it. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive

today with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. Wow. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. All right, quick quiz for the hiring.

managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for, or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results.

When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75-sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves. At Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. My first trip there, the first three months, it was like, oh, this is a nice little place.

You had that cut out of the fucking the Dosecchi's guy in the corner. I remember that. It's in the background of some stuff that I was looking at the other day. I was like, oh, it was a nice little place. And then I went home and worked for like months. And I was like, hey, I can finally come back out, guys. And then I remember the day I got to that apartment, I was convinced. So I got off the plane or fucking whatever and I got I took my lift or my Uber to this apartment to meet up with you guys because we were going to be crashing there for like as long as it took to find a new place which thankfully only took three weeks.

But I walked up to the apartment and I felt something was wrong as I was approaching. And I remember feeling that because I was like, I've never felt that way before. Weird. And then I get to the door. And then I get to the door. The door is open. wide open and I walk in

the sofas in the middle of the middle of the living room I remember everything is gone there stains all over the ground it looked like someone had run in there robbed you and killed

everybody involved it looked like a crack house it really did it looked like a crack like I was like what happened while I was gone and like I walked in I was like hello

is anyone here and I was like expecting like I don't know. I half expected a guy named Mask to come out and shoot me dead. But I was like, whatever. I got here. And no one answered for like 20 minutes.

And so I'm sitting there. I'm looking around. I'm like, is anybody here? I was like, Jalen? Like, whisk? And then 20 minutes later, Kevin. Our friend Kevin goes, oh, okay, Chris. He didn't even actually live there.

He goes, hey, Chris. I was like, you're here? What first of all, what the fuck happened? It really, I wish I'm so, I'm annoyed that I didn't take a picture of it because no amount of like description will do what does. It really looked like shit was ripped off. It really looked like a crack house. It was bad. The place was too bad people.

It was horrible. No, that was before. I think that was before people even got there. That's what's crazy. We cleaned it up so people could just stay. Dude, it was before me and Elliot got out. Me and it came out the day later. Yeah.

So that was a crazy It was no worry about getting robbed there Because it looked like somebody already ran through Right It's like in Last of Us where it's like Oh, there's nothing here Maybe they'll be like tape or a nail or something Or nail and pills of some sort

I can take the slow down the pain Damn Dude I remember we got the apartment And Elliot was like I'm staying with you guys For the rest of my vacation here I am not staying there And I was like Oh yes

I was okay In fairness we did have a new apartment In comparison We had the one mattress that we all laid on. Jalen had the only bed in his room. So me, you and Elliot just took portions of the mattress. We were all half on and are half on. That was 2015, so that was...

It was 16. Was it? Oh, yeah, that's right. That's right. That's right. It was 2016. Yeah, and I remember just... We couldn't have any miscommunication about how gay it was.

So we took portions. I think I laid it on the corner with just my stomach and my arm. and legs hanging off, I'm pretty sure. I was on the edge closest to the door and it was just the top part of my body. Oh my God. It looked fucking crazy. That is such a dude.

And what? I just had a mattress on the floor, right? From the last place. You had your mattress and then like, I don't know. I definitely didn't have a frame because I was on a bunk bed with Joe. Yeah, you had a stand. That's right. Yeah.

You just had the mattress on the ground. I remember walking and you were just laying in the middle of your floor in your room. There was just nothing in the room. I didn't have a bed yet. On the floor. Way down. I didn't have a bed. Spread out to stay cool.

That's right. That is such an insane. It's technically, well, it's a little while ago now. Like, I've been on here for almost 10 years. Next year will be 10 years from me.

It'll be, it is 10 years, I think, about. Yeah. For me, next year it'll be 10 years. It's about to be 10 years for me. If you count that three month period

that I was out here for like a little bit, which I do kind of. Yeah, that was the first period of time. We came back like a six months later? Yeah, was like six months. I came back a little bit after my birthday because I was like I can't, I don't want to. What else happened at Hilda? There was more crazy stuff that was happening. One of our friends, one of our friends got really drunk and tried to drive home and I had to wake up out of my sleep and convince them not to. Yep. Yep, yep. That was a real thing. And I was just like, out of his sleep, hey, you're about to die. I woke up and I was like, are you drunk? Because right, because. you current me right now

I wouldn't do anything I'd be like I would say something and if they didn't listen I'd be like look I can't I can't keep you here if you don't want to be here I can't keep you in class you know like I'm a teacher

I can't make you stay in class but like I was like hey don't go I was like hey don't go you're really just like no I got to get home and I was like I was like bud you're very drunk you're not standing up straight go to sleep

Yeah. Please go to sleep. That was the best thing you could do. I saved the life. Yeah. That makes up for all the bad ever done. I saved the life. Do you remember?

I'm trying to figure out how to tell this story without using names. Which one? Because I don't, I don't necessarily want names. But. When they made up the fib about someone dying. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Wow.

Yeah, that was the thing. Dude, your sister called me. Are you serious? Your sister called me and your mom called me. And I was like, let's give some context. Not names, but a friend of ours. I think you were hanging out with a friend of ours and some girl that were vaguely together, sort of or something. No, no, no, no.

It was just him and a girl hanging out. Oh, that's right, right. And then a friend of ours showed up. Right. And they wanted to restart something. Right. No, no, no. So this is how it happened.

This is what makes it even, it's, it's entirely fucked up. This is what makes, it's all just not good. Okay, all right. You tell. I barely remember it. I just remember what we, the joke. This, yeah. What happened was Jalen was hanging out with one of our friends, right?

They were drinking this being fucking 20-somethings. Yeah. Drinking hanging out, right? All of a sudden, our friend is like, hey, Jailen, you have to go home. Right. Jalen's clearly drunk. And I'm like, wait, wait. I didn't prepare to like leave him.

They were like, we got to go home like, hey, you got to get out of here. X, Y, Z. Like something's happening. And he was like, okay, I guess. So Jalen just waited in the car. And all he sees is our other friend pulling up there who is that girl's ex-boyfriend. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So she told Jalen to leave for a booty call. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he was drunk. And he was expecting him to get home fine drunk. Right. Yeah. I guess I'm going to chill in my car.

And then Jalen comes home like an hour or two later He's like, you gotta just kick me out. It's so fucked up. And Chris is like, you know it'll be funny. Okay, hold on. Wait. You know it would be a good, funny joke? This is not how I remember it at all.

That is exactly how it happened. So here's the thing. You know what we should do, right? So I was literally just joking. Okay? That was our sense of humor at the time, obviously. It still kind of is. It was more grim.

It was more grim before. Oh, then we had another friend that was really dumb. down for. It was our other friend who really... He was like, do this. Do this. Yeah. So I pitched as a joke, it's like, that's really fucked up.

That's not an okay thing to do to somebody. I feel pretty strongly about that, actually. No, no, that's terrible. It really bothered me that that happened. Yeah. And so I was like, you know, you should do is that you should not respond to any messages or phone calls. We'll all...

And if they message us, we'll just say we haven't heard from you or haven't seen you in a while. Yeah. Yeah. And wouldn't that be wild? But that's all I meant. And I was just like, wouldn't that be wild? LOL, wouldn't that be funny?

And then our other friend was like, yes. Our fantastic Mormon friend was like, do that. Yeah, our Mormon friend. Everybody, this is what we're doing. Nobody's out. Yeah. Dude. And then I remember just being like, yeah, whatever.

Because in my mind at the same time, I was like, that's a fuck. legs. Well, I didn't think it would last as long as it did. B, I didn't I also just didn't care really at the time because I really thought like it was just so fucked up to kick somebody out like that when they're drunk and expect them to drive home

I think it's like a really fucked up thing So I think part of me was just like whatever Do it. But like but then it got like crazy Because then like so many people thought you were dead Yeah Your sister called me Yeah

It was spreading way too far Like that's like the Gianni called me Gianni texted me because of what you call it because of of Gianni's what you call the Gianni was like hey have you seen Johnny got to them and I was like man I was like do I lie like do I lie? No that's crazy when it becomes family like that's like no that's one thing's not bad because I remember I contact Jayla was like Jilline your mom just messaged me yeah because our other

friends because I think my phone was just straight up off I think I think that was I think we told you to shut it off your phone off I think we told you to shut your phone on So nobody could get in contact with me. And I was like, do I lie? And I was like, hey, it's not a big deal. Don't worry about it. And yes, it was like, how is this not? Looking, looking, taking a moment outside of myself and flipping it to the other side of this.

That is a crazy thing to say. It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. It's like so outrageous. I was like, whatever, dude. I'm playing fucking Overwatch. Leave me alone. And it got so bad.

So the thing gets resolved. It left the target demographic. It got way bigger than even the joke It thought it would It's like when It's like when a snowball goes down a mountain And then it ends up being an avalanche And you're like, whoa

Yeah, yeah, yeah This is like not how it's supposed to be But it was also a pretty intense joke Because yeah, they When they found out I was alive I'm pretty sure they started crying Oh yeah, no, of course And then we had a

like a game, like a championship game to go play, like right after. Oh, that's right. You're on a team. Yeah. So it's just like, you were on a college football team at a college. You didn't attend. You didn't attend that college. You see why I tell you, my life sounds fake, right?

You were the secondary coach or something like that? Yeah, I was coaching. That was a great. Jailen's never. played softball in his life. Listen, I figured it out pretty quickly. It's a pretty easy thing to figure out pretty quick. You just toss the ball, you know?

Toss ball, runaway hit ball. That really was crazy. Yeah. But that's so funny. I didn't even think about that. There's a follow up. I remember a few days later, we played Seller's of Katan. Oh, yeah.

We played Sellers of Katan at our house. That's not the day I'm thinking about. That was when you fucking like an asshole. I mean, no, no, no. I'm not an asshole. I'm not an asshole for this. So he's not. started making our friend cry, right?

No, no, no, no. She cried. She was making fun, talking shit to me about, like, I was being an asshole in Katan. And I was like, you, you threw our friend to death.

How am I? Oh, you did. Everybody was like, oh, that's too far. And I was like, she did that. Yeah, but we're from New York. So our thick skin,

like, does not compare to, like, the thinness of the California skin. It was a different, it was a different crew. I was not, I, till this day, I think I might have been a little too staunch, I could have backed down a little bit more.

I was definitely more I was definitely more New York, Jamaican, Kingston than I am now. So I was like... These are you reignited something that was done. You know what I mean? It was two days, maybe. It wasn't that long.

It wasn't that short. It was, no, it was very quick. I feel like it was like a week or two. It was not a week. It was like, it was very quick. It came over pretty late, but she was like... But then one of our other friends jumped in the fun. No, no, no.

But then the guy that alongside her did the evil thing kept making fun of her too. And I was like, whoa. Yeah, it got crazy. It got crazy. It's pretty crazy. You know what I remember most about that? Is that it happened to that stupid high table that we got from IKEA.

Yeah. The one that was like unreasonably tall. Yeah. But it felt like you could. That thing was hefty, man. Like some IKEA furniture, I'm like, this is flimsy as fuck. And then that thing felt like you could beat a, We all had to get it, and we had to hold onto it on the top.

You put the ropes around the back windows, and then I was holding onto it on the top as we drove back. Seriously? Dude, that was... IKEA, first of all, sucks. Fuck IKEA. Yeah, I hated. Like, not for the food.

Like, if you're trying to furnish your home on a budget, budget, on a budget, look, do what you got to do. Like, I'm not here to tell people that not furnished their homes, but the way IKEA's designed fucking sucks. You should tell them to not furnish their homes. I mean, look, I'm not a material person. Like I could I could live in a house with a A bed

Maybe a desk And then like I don't know 30 cats 30 cats 30 cats 30 cats 32 30 dirty cats filthy cats Street cats actually every cat looks Ashy gray but most of them are actually white I love it

They look like the mine children They look like the mind children Bucks are fucking filthy kids And cats can cough so they can like cough up some of that mine dust. Exactly. If they cough enough mind dust, I can use it to sell as a mine.

I can start my own mind. Now we're talking. We can make this into a business. This has more legs than it should. Like the cats. Like all those cats. They survived all that mining. It really felt like there were hundreds of cats outside of that apartment

fucking all the time. Yeah. I really don't understand that shit. It was torturous. That whole place was insane. And that's only the first apartment. That's only phase one. That's crazy.

That's just the first year that We live together. Because we all together to when? You moved out 2020. 2020? Was it 2020 that you left? I thought it was earlier than that. He left right before COVID.

It wasn't 2019? I think it was 2019 that he left. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer. what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms,

coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of,

building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.

That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computers, computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for indeed sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're

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And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves. At Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. He moved up the February before COVID, like right before we got shut down at least. Oh, is that true? I know I spent COVID by myself in that apartment and that sucked because it was like, okay, like it's lockdown and also my first time living on my own. Oh, yeah, that must have been a weird. So that was so weird. Because he moved out to February because I remember I took the room afterwards. And then we were there to August. and then we moved.

Because you, yeah, because you pretty much lived with people the entire time. Yeah, yeah, and that was like your first time and then it was,

and then it walked out. So it was like, yo, you're really by yourself. I never lived alone, man. I've never, ever,

ever lived alone. It's fucking crazy. Oh, shoot. I've never lived alone. I mean, this is my first time. Yeah, essentially,

yeah, because you went back home. You learn things about yourself, the Crucible couldn't teach you. It's intense, man. I, I just,

I think if I lived alone, I would never, I think if I lived alone before, I would never move them with Lily. What do you mean? Because I hate sharing a space with a girl. I hate it so much. Wait, wait.

Now or before? Maybe before I'd be like, can we just live separate places and love each other forever? And asking that is insane to your partner. It's like, hey, can we just like never live together? But I love you and everything. I mean, I'd like the idea of two apartments. I like that idea as well. I want two bedrooms.

I want two separate bedrooms. Right. I think that is something I actually want. The thing is I just have an office with a place to sleep in the office. Is how I think about it. But then I would end up, I would end up sleeping there so much more often. It's like, might as well have two bedrooms. I mean, I guess, maybe.

I don't know. Because have you, you guys have seen my bedroom? It's decorated like a girl's bedroom with my computer and stuff in it. Okay. Not that I even would decorate. It's not decorated like a girls' bedroom. It's decorated like an adult's bedroom. No, it's, it's a girl's bedroom.

My bedroom is a female bedroom. I don't think I've really seen your bedroom. It's a bunch of like girl jewelry and like flowers and girl styling mirrors and like fucking what do you have on the walls nothing in my bedroom you have nothing we have like one Star Wars poster now because she loves Star Wars you have a Star Wars poster in your bedroom in that bedroom yeah that's so interesting

I was told specifically she loves Star Wars oh really Lily loved that's like her fake I don't know what went to so we went to the freaking Star Wars celebration I thought she was just a Disney person I think she liked Star Wars no she loves Star Wars but she loves Star Wars because her dad is a nerds like her dad's like a classic like reads comic book nerds right right so that's why she loves like nerd shit in general, but she got into stars because of her dad. I don't know if I could, like,

empty walls bother me. Like, it makes me feel like I'm in jail or something. I was told that I was, uh, seemed like a serial killer. I was nothing on my wall. Yeah, I don't, I don't care about anything. I had to get things on my walls, but I didn't, I didn't care for anything. Yeah. So I was like, it just, there's something just oppressive about it.

I don't know what it is. Because I don't like fine art like that. I just don't, I think it's, dude, I don't even care. It could just be fucking foam. You know what I mean? I don't like things on my wife. It's a soundproofing foam in here. Like,

I could care of, I could give a fuck. I just need something. Because like I, living with a girl, you learn how to become, like, I wasn't the tidiest. I wasn't that tidy. It wasn't a really a tidy person. But living with girls should become extremely tidy because of being around them. Isn't how he undersells. I wasn't tidy.

I wasn't a tidy person at all. But I didn't have a space to be my own. That is true. You did live in our living room. Yeah. For the damn near the entire time that we lived together. So I like. You remember when you woke up in a puddle when the sick exploded?

Oh my. fucking oh my god i yes that is a level of anger i sealed away i sealed that shit away i was like i was like i'm never going to get this fucking mad again dude i had to work right after you had to work and then come back to that yeah this is at the second apartment that we lived at which might be crazier than hilda i'm

thinking about it i think the second one was like i think because we had our our spaces in the first apartment that we had even if they were ours like you had your bedroom i my bedroom, kids and had the living room. We were both, we were all kind of just always in our spaces. Yeah. But our spaces were pretty close. Like the doors faced each other. We had that little alcove that we always meet up at.

It was important, there was no privacy in there. No, it was just, we are together in that first apartment. And in the next apartment, we, like, our spaces were bigger and they were more separated. Like, we had a hallway and each of them, it was almost like an office space. And an extra guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Even you. Even you're like Because when you lived in our living room But our living room in that place was fucking so big That is an amazing apartment like layout wise Like not where it is I would have stayed at that apartment Were it not for like a couple of

Like there were a couple things Like roaches Roaches Right The kids bashing in our window The kid Dude that's when I was in Mexico Are you serious?

Are you in Mexico Dude I was so fucking pissed That's when I left the potatoes By mistake house, remember? And you guys found, like, it's the fucking potatoes. That's right. I was saying, it's like, why are there so many fucking flies in this apartment? It makes no sense. We're not this dirty. And then, like, in the back of this cupboard is this potato that looked like something out of a fucking Cthulu thing. Nuts. Yeah, I didn't know potatoes could do that.

I didn't know they sprouted like that until that moment. It's disgusting how they fucking spurt. I thought what makes it gross about potatoes, they do that in like regular places. Like, most things start growing down when you plant them. Yeah. Potatoes just do it. Yeah, you're just supposed to eat them, you know. We're supposed to eat them before they start doing that. Before they start torturing your world, man. Dude, that place is so insane.

But yeah, so our other roommate at the time, Joe would just dump his protein powder into the sink. Yeah. Which is basically like putting concrete in the sink. Quite literally. There was the protein he fucking adjusting at that time. Because at that time, he was like way, because seeing Joe Napa's before, Joe was huge before. compared to what he is now. Oh, that's a good point.

He was a wall before compared to himself now. He was bulking up for something. To carry all those boxes of jerky to our apartment. Oh, my gosh. I love Joe like a brother. He is someone that, like, I will always see him as a close friend of mine. He'll be at my wedding and hopefully at my funeral. Yeah.

But Joe is such a character that, like, it's, he's so not like anyone else ever met in my life. which also makes him great at the same time. Yeah. Until you wake up in a pool of, I was so, I was so mad. He was, because we were like,

hey, what's going to, what made it was like because he went down and you were starting checking it out. Yeah. It's probably going to make it worse. But we were like,

hey, it was bad. What's going on? I was like, hey, why does the sink making those sounds? Why is the sink under the sink wet? And I said,

do you see this? And you were like, hey, I wonder what pops. The main blows up. Terrible. And it's just water. So at genuinely,

at like, not 11, like maybe 12 a.m. We had to call the maintenance to come and fix the fucking sink because it was gushing water. We had a pail that was filling up and it was filled in a moment. In moment it was filled up.

I don't think I was there for that. I think it was over wintertime. Yeah, I was in New York probably. And I remember I had to go work. So he said, I'm gone. It's some crazy fucking shit. Things get the worst when you're gone. As soon as you leave,

people try to destroy us. Do you remember when somebody tried to break into the apartment? Everybody's home. So this was right after Smash Ultimate came out. It was right after. We had to say everybody over. And then three hours late, it was so late.

It was so late. Three, four hours later, we're all sitting there hysterical like usual talking about something insane. Then all of us setting a doorknob starts violently moving. Yeah. And we're just like, oh, that's right. You remember that? That's right. Yeah, we were just sitting there being like, everybody's.

Yeah, we were looking around like, if somebody not here, they were counting. You were counting. Dude, like one, two, three, four. Because someone's trying to get in real bad right now. Like they really need to get inside of there. You were like, what's going on? That was pretty great. Do you remember with the door not broken?

We were stuck in the apartment? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I recorded that too. There were certain things that I was like, I should, I should confirm this. Because it's so crazy. You remember that one Christmas that we spent when it was just you and me? So hungry. And we didn't buy any food because we just like we're stupid.

Right. We forgot everything closes, right? We couldn't order food. We couldn't like pick up food. That's when I was in New York. That's when I was in New York. Everybody was gone and it was just me and him. Everything closed.

And we were just watching this guy smoke brisket. Oh, like, for hours. Oh, my God. I remember coming back and you guys doing that. Watching people eat. Like, no, cook barbecue. It was like. It's like vicariously living through other people.

We don't have food. That was delicious. And we were so hungry. You could taste it. You were like, yeah. And after that, we just kept watching those. We continued watching people cook food. It was something we developed.

over Christmas while starving. You know, I think we might have been like down bad for real at the time points. We didn't need to be. We didn't need to be at all. We all had like reasonable incomes. It was from the past.

And we lived together. We were saving a lot of money. Right, right. It would be no sense that we were living in that way. We couldn't let it go. Like we were too used to be poor. So we were like, I feel like I didn't start having a decent income.

relatively some income until like maybe right before we left. What do you mean? Because COVID is when I quit my job at Starbucks. Oh, so you mean right around the time you did the thing that I kept telling you to do for years? Yeah. Yeah, that thing. That thing you're telling me. Yeah, yeah, you're welcome.

You're telling me. Yeah. If we started a podcast then, we would have made so much fucking money. I just can't believe it took you so long. It's so annoying. It would have made so much funny. It's so annoying. I was like, you should start.

I was like, nah, you're fucking gay. Yeah. Every time. You're like, no. I've got to go into Starbucks. Oh, yeah. I regret that so much. I regret it so much now looking at it.

But like, I just insane. Like, did you have like loyalty to Starbucks or something? It was so weird that it was, it was, it was. It was, it was, it was. Oh. Yeah, the coffee I didn't drink that he doesn't even like. That thing that I don't like that I would give to you. I would have you to give it to me.

I'm like, hey, do you want this? Oh my God, that was great. It was just the idea of like stuck the stuck in the whole mentality. I was like, oh, I'm going to school and I work at Starbucks. And that is my life right now. Yeah. And I'm just like, dude, that was so fucking dumb. I could have just not lived such a painful existence.

Yeah, man. Be like that. It is what it is. You live and you learn. Sometimes kids arguing over Fortnite skins break your living room window with a chair. Because our apartment's windows in that second one shared space with the pool house. So people could like swim and we'd see them and it was kind of weird. It was like not a lot of privacy.

It was worse for Jalen where your room, the wed became my room because it's right. Like it's like, oh yeah, that door is right there, but he at least has a gate. I had a gate. Like people could go right up to my window. Yeah. You know, and just like, who's going on. I think some people knew who I was too, which is like kind of annoying. Yeah.

Yeah. Because I think they saw like the, you know, you couldn't help but see sometimes. It's like, oh, there's like production equipment in there. Yeah. Somebody is supporting there. If you wanted to let in any sun, you were completely visible. Yeah. It was no hiding.

Someone just coming in with the middle of you. Do you guys remember, like, Joe bringing a child into that apartment? We were like, this is not a place for a job. Dude, that set me off. That was crazy. I didn't know I could get that angry. I very much took into myself. We can't be responsible for this.

I'm not a temperamental person. I'm not temperamental. I'm really not. I really try to stay calm. I don't lose my cool because I. Except for when people flood your living. area. I didn't even get mad at Joe like that.

I was like, that's not insidious. You know, like, that's this joke being dumb. Right. And like, it's whatever. Dude, I have another story. It's insane. But I was like, all right, cool. You're just hanging out.

And I was like, who's this white child? Yes. Who is this white? I walked into the house after work. I stunk of coffee and anger. Yeah. And I was like, who's this small white child? That's unattended too.

Is it unattended? No, because they weren't, they were in the back out in the back or something. Fuck shit. And left the kid. unattended nothing but sharp corners. Dude, yeah, our apartment was not childproof

at all because we didn't have. We probably had knives just left out all over fucking can I tell you something? We absolutely did because I hit them fucking everywhere. Because I was always like if I get docks or something

and people show up. You were so panicked about being killed at that period of time. Dude, I don't know. What are you doing? Who are you making enemies with at that time? All sorts of people for no reason.

You don't remember these times. That's true. Joe had tons of weapons in his room too. And like, like, Nunchucks and shit. I would use them all the time. Joe had real num chucks. You ever felt, though?

People out there. Those were dead as hell. The weight of real nunchucks is crazy. I think I attacked you at them once for a video, I think. I don't remember. I don't remember anything. That was part of it, I think. You probably got it.

You probably did a good job. I forgot. Apparently, you could like crack a pig skull with a pair of nunch. I guess pigs have big skull. Rod, she was in a video, man. It was in a video? It was just a video. The video just on Google.

I didn't even go anything. It was like, oh, this is on the front page. None chucking the pigs. Yeah. Do you remember my final one I want to bring up? Do you remember when we were all just in the living room? And then Joe mistakenly put, this is not all rags on Joe.

We've all done extremely stupid fucking things in that apartment, right? It's not an all rag on Joe moment, but Joe's not here to defend himself. So what we're doing, just keep stabbing twisted. We're going to pick on him. We're going to have him on eventually, too, probably. Sure. So we're going to pick on Joe this moment. There was a moment that Joe had a, we had like a glass like broiling pan.

Oh my God. That we just have, that we would heat things up with. There was one time Joe was like, Joe was heating up something in the front stove. And I think Jalen was going to bake chicken or something like that. Yeah. So Joe left the stove on. And Jailen was like, I'm going to put this here. I'm going to let the stove heat up.

And all of a sudden it shattered. And me and Jalen. Dove to the floor Because we were like, what the fuck is going on? We thought somebody was shooting our windows again. You're like, what's going on? Which is crazy because our windows were facing the inside courtyard The apartment.

Somebody came in and sprang us down from there. And then Chris was just standing there Like in the fucking hallway area just waiting For whatever to happen, happened. And I was just like, what was going on? I was like, Are we getting trying, someone trying to kill us? I guess I'm going to stand still.

Yeah. But Joe was like, Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example, if anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago,

they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment, And we say you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process,

because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question,

because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for. Or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a higher than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results.

When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. Oh, what happened?

Oh, the stove was on. I was like, Joe. Right. Because the fire was running. but there was a glass tray It was a glass tray on top of the stove It wasn't a fire It was one of the electric ones

It was an electric one Because I think it was fire You would have seen it Right At least Our stove at that time Was electric I think you're right

So it just fucking shatter That was a bad thing About that apartment too I don't mind I don't know if I have an electric The electric cell that we had there wasn't very good And then the dishwasher

That was like It just kept pouring roaches Oh yeah That was the same apartment Yeah That second apartment Where this all happened Yeah

was the one where Joe came back with that gray chicken. Do you remember? It looked like steak. We had to convince him not to eat completely rotten chicken. Dude, it looked like steak. It looked like bad steak. We thought he already cooked it.

That's how bad it looked. He was crazy, man. And he said, no, I'm about to. And we said, please, you'll die. I think he said like, yeah, I got it for free or something. He was always getting free food. He did like, he did like catering or something? Catering, that was.

You guys, you did it too, right? I did catering. Yeah, yeah. You guys did it for a while. You guys had so many weird jobs. Oh, yeah. You especially. You were a postman.

Then you did like a delivery service. Yeah. On my motel. On my mopad. Yep. We're up for that yummy place. That's what it's called. Yummy.

Yeah, delivering groceries to. We were back in New York where you sold. I was bartending. I was doing the catering back in New York. Back in New York where you sold knives. I sold knives. I worked in a warehouse. I worked at all the fast food places.

Yeah, he worked that. You worked at Spencer's gifts and a adult shop. literally had jobs in the teens before we were out of our teens. I had one job. We were still 19 years old because I met you guys at I was 17, I think. No, I was 18. I just turned 18. I was just starting to go to college.

And I met you guys. And I was like, how many jobs have you had? And you were like, oh, I worked at McDonald's. I worked at like, fucking. Panera bread. I worked at Duncan. And I was like. Panera, that's right.

I was like, how many places have you worked? I was like, oh, like maybe 11. And I was like, how have you guys worked? I worked at a health center. What? I walked through a swamp with Elliot to go and apply an interview for a job at McDonald's and got it. You walked through a swamp? A swamp.

Why? I was covered in mud for the interview. Oh, my God. That reminds me my friend Rob, when we, like, before, like, fucking regents exams. We got to school early. And then we walked, like, do you remember in... Did you do that with Elliot? Because Elliot did exactly what you're describing.

With wet socks. He walked through some horrible. horribly muddy swamp. It might have been Elliot. I don't remember exactly who it was, but we walked behind. So across the street from our school was this little plaza.

It had like a place called the Delhi button that was really nice. I remember that. Nice compared. I love that place. And then behind there, there was like a road that took you to like kind of like a creek or something.

Yeah. And, you know, you just go over there and like walk around and they think, I thought like, Rob, before what we got to school early, we were waiting like 30 minutes an hour before the exams,

final exams started. And so we just wandered and he walked into the creek and fell in. And then did the rest of the exam, walked into the exam, soaked and dirty. Oh, my God. It was so bad. He said I'm in peak condition for this exam. Because he was, he sat so close to me. Because we did the exam in the gym.

Yes. Because it was everybody from like everywhere. So it was like a big room. I did my reading exams there. Oh, I think you're probably right. Yeah. Because I was, I didn't go to school in the district. I went to school outside district.

I lived outside district initially. Yeah. So I did the Regents exam and I did my last ones when I was going to graduating high school. I did them there. But I did my first ones and what was Wappenger's called? I don't remember. Wapenjus, it was what was the Wacham in the school? It's Ketchum.

Yeah. I went to one of their props. Yeah. I was there doing it and I was that. I hate Fishkill school. I hate that place so much. It's not great. But I want to go back.

But dude. I thought I was safe because like it was alphabetically done, right? You would sit out. alphabetically. And his his last name was A and mine was M. I thought we'd be far far enough away from each other. But like oh it wrapped around it just wrapped around a and we were so close and it's dripping. And it was a part and it you could hear it during exam. Dude you get out of focus while you're cold and dirty and you're definitely getting sick. It was so funny. Yeah, absolutely. It was so fucking funny, man. Oh my gosh. But that's way back.

That's like way, that's way before anytime we're talking about. Insane. Yeah. I feel like our I like the last like 14 years of our lives It's been a really really insanely written comedy show Oh yeah Yeah That gets so much Funny in a different way every year The fact that so much of it is missing too

Right Like there's so much that I also don't remember You jumped out of a car when we were moving in Like you have to get your your order When we were moving into the Burbank place Without a shirt It was 116 degrees or something On the day that we were moving

I remember it I remember it. It was October 1st, 2017. I remember this. Like, fucking nobody's business. It was 116 degrees. The mountains to where we were moving were on fire. You could see the fire was raining ash.

And we were moving all of our stuff into this new building. And so we were just trying to survive. I took my shirt off. I think most of us were shirtless, I think. It was just like how we were going to die otherwise. And I remember because the apartment that we moved into had no internet. Like the fucking, we didn't have the internet set up and the signal was bad. And so I was like trying so hard to order food.

I hadn't eaten all day. I was hungry. We were moving all the shit in like in crazy Mars level heat. Right. And it just wasn't going through. So I gave up and we were moving. And then like as we were driving back to the old place to grab the last remaining things. Right.

We stopped off at a light. I get a notification from postmates or Uber Eats or whatever. Your food has arrived. And it arrived to the place that we just left. And I turned to Jane. I was like, I got to go. And we were like at an intersection. And so I left, I just left the truck at the intersection and ran back to the building.

And you just drove it the rest of the way. And like outside perspective, the man burst from a you all truck with no shirt on. Running. Running away from you. You know what's really sad about it? Like, by the time I got to the food, there were flies on it. And I ate it anyway. You had to eat something

I was so dire Dude remember we moved from that place To the next place And we spent all day carrying stuff And then one of our friends She brought like her table And it just

Apparated away And it disappeared I don't remember that Hey Gabby brought her table And they were like loading it in a car And she was like can I load it in a car? And she was like can I load it here? And I was like Gabby

I don't think that table has much time left I don't remember that Flimsy What? And it brought broke and we were like, bud, this is gonna break. Like, this is like... The fact that we did that move in such a short time, too.

We definitely heard ourselves. We heard ourselves. We were like coughing, like, because we moved like four people's apartments where the things in like less than 24 hours. This was after you left already. This was our after we did the COVID move. It was all up. And that was when we found out that we were all fucking exposed, right? Yeah.

Because our friend got, our friend's boss got COVID. Then they got COVID. They were like, hey, my boss has COVID. And then Lily was freak. down and left because she was just like I don't want to kill my family potentially and I was like we found that at the end of the day or like in the middle of the day where we were moving that's horrible yeah it's pretty wrong I was such a rink out the move was only a couple blocks dude we moved a lot of shit that day because we were like we just we just want to we just want to get out right so we just

we just moved everybody's apartment into one apartment everything oh god and we were I definitely hurt myself because we were moving like we just didn't stop there was no like pause. We just kept like all right, cool. That thing's done. Let's go get the rest of the stuff. And it was rough. And I remember all of it done. We were all so exhausted. And then I was like, oh, I forgot my bed stuff.

So I walked back up the street at like 2 a.m. Took a shower in that apartment. That's right. I wrapped myself in like four blankets because I didn't bring pants with me to change into. Bro. Oh, my. You had full.

homeless. So I literally I literally had to put the same underwear back on and then wrap blankets around my legs. That's such a defeating moment. Right. Walk back down. I looked like a I looked like a fucking SEP walking down a fucking street. And I walked the apartment and you were like, where are you doing? And I was like, I had to shower. I felt gross. I just walked in my room and closed. Right. That's the only response you could do. I just, I can't say anymore.

That was such a crazy night. Everybody thought the world was ending. Yeah. It was insane. The fact that COVID was five years ago. It doesn't feel like how long ago. It's insane. Yeah.

It's going to be lost so much time. That period of time, yeah. It was a time skip. It was two years of just nothing. Yeah. Two old years of all years of all is just nothing. The end of our 20s were stolen from us. I just started saying freak it and started traveling though.

I was traveling during COVID. Yeah. Traveling makes sense. And it was great because it was incredibly treated. great parties. People were cool. And I didn't get sick. I didn't get sick until I got back to my office. You know what I'm convinced of? I'm convinced that before you even left, we all got COVID. I think you're right. I'm convinced like that we had it early.

That December, all of us got to get wild. Gabby, I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. Gabby got sick first and then she was staying with us. For some reason, I don't remember why. No, no, she wasn't. She stayed with us during COVID because. because proper she's lived at us for that period of time because she was there when everything happened she was there when the curfew happened oh my god i remember the curfew i was a thing i forgot yeah we got that fucking message and we're like hey stay stay where you are and i was like yo this shit's gonna be crazy we were like hey you're not gonna go back to your apartment

you're just gonna stay with us for the period of time yeah yeah and she was there for months because we were just fucking the world paused yeah so i remember that happened but i remember we we all got sick we all got really weirdly sick it was me christ and Gabby got really weirdly sick. And then we were like, all right, I guess. And then we started using these fucking halls, the fucking citrus halls. Oh, yeah, yeah, the vitamin C.

Wildfire. Oh, really? And I'm pretty sure we didn't get COVID because our blood was so vitamin C if we caught us up, light would come out. Oh, my God. It was insane. Yeah, my mom sent me like hundreds of them. That's like a care package because she was scared.

She was worried about it. Exactly. Because her son was across the country during a plague. Understandable. I remember my honest economy Like hey how's it going over there And I was like I don't know World might end

Was it bubonic levels or not quite? COVID? Yeah I think it was worse The bubonic levels? It wasn't it worse? It wasn't just Europe? I think

It was just Europe It was so I think casually wise It was way worse The bubonic plague I don't think so We lost a generation of people From COVID

Yeah but not The plague was crazy I don't think you can compare it really I think it was crazy What about yellow fever? Was that worse the plague? Did that happen? Is it yellow fever real? Yellow fever was a thing? I think it was, I think it was, I think it was a racist. I thought that

it was like a racist, right? It was all over. It was all over. The yellow play seems like this. What? What do you think? I don't know. I thought yellow fever was like a racist term for likeing Asians. No, that you're thinking of a different term. No, that is no, that is true. The more famous one is jungle fever though. Oh, right, right, right. Yellow fever is real. Yeah, it's so crazy. There were signs that were actually harder. to tell yellow fever and black people

because our skin because one of the signs was like you would be tinted yellow your eyes would have like a yellow tin

but a lot of black people just have yellow color to their eyes because of the nature of us being slaves yeah you could just be overworked

I don't know I don't know man I don't know what's going on no more man like like Daniel will send me these facts

about the sun every now and again and then I'll just I'll be like sure why not why do you want to know about the sun I feel like

I feel like cosmic stuff is just like I don't I mean, yes, yes, yeah. Don't care about the cosmic stuff because if it happens, it's like a, you know, it's a relevant. Yeah, it's just like, yeah, it happens, whatever, you know, but it was so interesting because things were getting crazy for a while. And we're still in solar maximum, 2025. The fact that he knows that. You know what I mean? Solar maximum, part of the Sun's 11 year solar cycle. So we were getting all the crazy auroras, all the crazy corona mass ejections and you kept freaking. me out, man. Dude, it was getting wild. You were saying to me scary shit about like,

is a solar player is going to kill your mom. Dude, I was like, solar players. It has your mom's name in it. Like, they're like, oh yeah, this is going to kill your mom. They were getting up there.

If they were facing Earth in the right way, it was just like, hey, we can get that nice shutdown we've been waiting for it. Really slow down Elon, you know? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That would be really scary

for like a month of just like in a dark ages because I don't think we'd survive. I just wanted to see if we could get that cowboy bebop, uh, satellites raining from the sky type of vibe, you know. Right. I feel like that Starlink

would be coming down like crazy. I feel like that'd be really cool to see not experience, you know? Well, as long as it doesn't land on you. Nobody's to blame for that. Nobody's to blame. That's true. So that's why it was kind of, it was like,

you know, it's just part of life now. It wouldn't be nice if something went wrong that was just not the fault of anybody. Right. You know what I mean? But I don't think it matters. It's something that we're all, we all have to deal with together.

Yeah, but what a unifying. I don't think devastation. I, I, I, I, Do you remember how, like, after World War I, we could have, like, trying to treaty of Versa and we just didn't? No, but that's different. We chose to, like, still just, remember how during COVID where it just, a thing happened? Instead of everybody being like, let's be respectful to this thing. They were like, this is fake.

No, no, I understand what you're saying. But I think what he's saying is, like, if it's not even necessarily about whether or not people would treat it as such. It's more about, like, we would all know intrinsically that, like, this is not malice. like so much else is. You know, it's not like fucking, you know, I don't know, Israel. You know, it's just like, oh, the sun did a thing. I feel like that you can't control.

Like the sun's not biased. Right. It's like we all have to deal with like an earthquake. It's like when yellow start happens. Whenever, whenever that. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata.

we discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. building actual physical machines.

Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2020.

will build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question,

because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for indeed sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates that meet the skills, certifications, and everything else you're looking for. Or go a different way and get no traction. Seriously, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs. It really is a no-brainer. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes.

Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. Listeners of this show will get a $75-sponsored job credit to help your job get the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. There's actually a volcano out in the ocean that's like the one by Hawaii. The one by Hawaii. Underwater and it's getting very active. Oh, hell yeah. If it blows, it could really... Do a little bit of a tsunami. Yeah.

Well, more than a tsunami... The whole Western seaboard would be fucking underwater. Wow. We would be in a way. We would be fucked over, but like Portland area, like the proper coast is gone.

It's just shrinks in. We would just be fucked over because, you know, we'd have a lot of intense flooding at Cali's not built for flooding. It would be much... Dude, I'm even sure I wouldn't be here, though. Yeah.

Like, if that thing blows up, like, uh, I'll probably, I don't know, my luck would probably have me in the East Coast. I think when that happens, the moment activity happens, you just have to leave. Because what happens, I've realized is that people don't. No, no, no, people don't leave immediately. No, people don't leave immediately. That's the problem.

A lot of people do just be like, well, it'll be fine. Yeah. That what happens is when that happens, it's unfortunate because your property is gone, you know, because it sucks for me particularly because Lily's family owns that property, like, actually. Yeah. Like, everybody has apartments. Dude, I remember when... Even an apartment is fine.

Dude, I remember when these fires were going on, the most recent fires, Because when we were like, I looked at my, like, what was that app that everybody was downloading? Oh. To look at the fires, like, watch something. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, to steal your data. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, another fucking mapping app.

The fucking Pokemon Go thing. Right. That was this Chinese app crowd mapping for America. It's like, that is so not okay. Honestly. Clearly it was. What do I have? Clearly it was the whole time.

Go ahead. Take. Like, honestly, what the fuck do I, you know? It's, it's, I was never under the illusion that there was any kind of privacy ever. You know what I mean? I think, I think a lot of people, People are like, oh, our privacy's gone. It's like, brother, your privacy's been gone for fucking ever.

The fact that you even have a phone with you. Right, right. And that was never even my gripe. My gripe is we're getting our data taken and it's getting sold for money. It's worth something and we're not getting paid for it. That's the, that's my whole thing. It's just like, you're taking my data for free. At least give me royalties.

And you're selling it. So it's worth something. But I'm not getting any royalties. I don't get a piece of my own pie. A hundred percent. That's literally money you're working for them to have that you have no saying. Right. So it's like, if you're.

going to take my data at least pay me. Exactly. You're just digging in my pocket. A lot of people just do it for free though. Yeah. Why would they do that? Why would they pay you when you don't have to? Well, it's because we all don't say anything at the same time. We're never going to say anything.

They've made a very good job at us being like, hey, this is a problem. You know what's a bigger problem? That's a bigger problem? How many black people are in television shows? And it's like, that shit is crazy. We're doomed. We're cooked. That shit always really did bother me, man.

Just like the focusing on such. stupid shit when there's so much It's always been now I know but like it's special I just I had more faith I guess that like as time would go on we would be smarter and it has not been repaid really you know if anything I think things are like really

stupid now I actually think like people don't know how to read anymore like it's getting scary well that's the thing we're in a society people don't realize that we're just cleverly barbaric we have barbarism has never left humanity at all like it's still

just as barbaric is just a little clever We're just not We do it with like a GoPro on a drone now Right, right We're not socially barbaric anymore We had a long period of time Of being socially barbaric Like in the societal fashion

And now we're just barbaric In the way we live by ignoring shit Yeah, it's passive barbaric It's like it's like And granted like you know You can only affect the world In such a finite way But like we have smartphones

The nature of how smartphones are created Is inherently Extraordinarily Barbaric It's unfair It's a little if he's a little if the fact that there are second world countries He didn't know about the minds You didn't know about the children in the mines You know

I want to clarify I did know about child labor I don't You know about child labor but not child minor No of course It's like it makes sense I would do it Wait working in the minds Would you send your small child to the minds

If they were more adept for being able Because they had a good work ethic Their lungs are going to heal back faster than my lungs would heal back back. They're smaller. They'll be capable of adapting much better than me as a 31 year old. Yeah. It's like why you send kids to war.

Exactly. Like they're not going to shoot a little... They're not going to send me a 31 year old with a minus 10 prescription onto the battlefield. They're going to send a 11 year old Tony. Well, no. They're not going to... He's not Tony yet. He's Anthony right now. But like...

He can't change his name. He'll be Tony. He's Tony in 21. Yeah. Hey, Tony. There goes infantry Tony. Infantry Tony. He's has a bunch of guns on him. Hey.

It's going to be a dire situation. It's really gross. I don't know. Everything's gross. Everything's insane. I didn't really think about a lot of this stuff. If they found a way to force me into being an infantry person, I would at least ask to be a demolition expert. Oh, like a grenade.

You'd be like a heavy? Yeah, I'd be a heavy. That would be my class. I'd be recon, I think. And the RPG. I'd be a stealth class for sure. Lucky shots. I would be,

I would be absolutely a medic because I feel like most of the time I don't have to. Like when it gets there, it's like, look, what do you mean? You're going to be working with the people blown to bits? I know, but like, how are you going to expect me to fix that?

I'm a devilish news. I'm not going to get it right every time. Bring me. If you bring me a human being as like a Lego set, what do you expect me to do? Save it. I'm not saying same up. Expect me to do, dude.

Use your medic. Use your medic class and bring him back to life. I'll use my band-a-dage to reconnect this guy's spinal cord. I wouldn't even call you a medic. I'd call you necromancer. I'd be like, shame him, necromancer. Use your magic to bring him back. A military necromancer is crazy.

It's genius. It's essentially what it is at a certain point. It's supernaecal. He's got no limbs left. Bring him back somehow, please. I feel like that that's plausible for the future. Information, education is so siloed, right? We're only supposed to have expertise in one area.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if my expertise is in demolitions, why would I know anything about medics? You know, just be like, okay. I feel like that's so... You're going to be the necromancer, put them back together with all our future tech. I feel like that's so insane, but it's, it's clearly true because, like, kids don't watch PBS. People don't, people don't watch PBS, you know. I imagine it becoming more and more true.

Because kids don't learn things the same way. At least here gets more and more stifled. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be crazy. It really is, it is sad to think that, like, the education that I got is comparatively, like, a lot better. The education that we got in our public school is better than a day. Dude, we, I'm pretty sure we just giggled our way through most of the classes that we had together. It was ridiculous.

Do you remember we had that final exam and then, like, we were laughing? And so the teacher just took our exams for us in the middle of it? We're like, zeroes, both of you. Because we started laughing. We're on the opposite sides of the room. They thought we were communicating or something. No, we're just fools. Like, he didn't get it.

He was just like, no, we just like laugh. You don't get the joke. Wait, take a second. Let me explain the joke to you. Imagine us trying to explain the joke to a teacher, though. Right. It would be impossible. We just like, no.

I think we're lying. We're like, there's no joke. No, no. Mr. Mr. Woods, listen. I'm looking over at him. Yeah. And because he looked over at me and we know that we're not allowed to laugh,

that is a really fun. Exactly. But everyone understands that. Didn't matter. That didn't matter. This teacher. It was getting paid way too little to have his job

of pretty much being a daycare center for all these stupid-ass teenagers. Yeah. Hey, I didn't choose his life. All right? What's crazy, too, is that the tech that we had at that time or this tech that we were starting to have at that time.

Like, they could not keep up with it. There were definitely teachers who were there that were like so old. They couldn't keep up with that old-ass tech. Well, dude, we... Well, it's relative. You know? Well, we, what was?

2007 to 2011 was our high school. Yeah. So, like, we went from having no cell phones at all to having, like, the fucking smartphones. Right. Immediately. And so, like, we could just Google the answer. I remember Googling the answer straight up to, like, a couple of our tests that we got. I didn't have a smartphone until I finished high school.

Like, I didn't have, like, a proper. I had, like, a fucking. I had a droid. I wasn't even clever enough to cheat, really. I was just like, I'm just going to, whatever comes of this test comes of it. I wasn't a cheater in school enough, but I just, it's just. I cheated at the subjects that I knew. knew if I failed would

fuck me over and the ones that I knew that I was just simply not good at. Like I was like there's no chance I'm going to get better at this in like the short amount of time that I have that it wouldn't affect me. Right. So like I got to do it. That is so obvious to the truth. Especially like academics in like high school you can learn them during it.

It's not hard. I'm not a math. I'm not a math guy. Chris Chris I'm telling you right now if I learned dude my last year of college I had so my math credits wore out. So I had to do a composite math class from algebra to calc two. The worst class experience of my life.

That sounds really horrible. It was terrible, but I can do math right now because of how bad I was experiencing it. You don't understand. Lily was like Kingston, why are you doing this? It was in high school?

It was college. It was my last year. Because he was at Kingston, why are you doing this? High school was, I think the way high school's built is so fucking wrong. Joe almost blew up our high school.

I know we're not supposed to keep the wood stuff. Yeah. With the wood stuff at the freaking thing. He told me that story. It's insane. It's not. What are you saying? So they decided that we were all responsible enough to handle a welding class,

including like oxygen and acetylene tanks and all this good stuff. However, our teacher who was a really nice guy, Mr. Jensen, great teacher. He was struck with cancer. Struck is a crazy word. That is the best way to say because no one did it. Right. He's from on high. No, for laughing.

So his cancer came back He had to go out and we got a sub for the entire class For that a substitute For a welding teacher It's crazy Absolutely insane Especially when you know now What's crazy is that like

We're all adults We know Or we have been friends Or in communication with people who are a substitute teacher Exactly You know And our substitute teacher was missing a few fingers Of course

Things didn't go well for him He wasn't a great one But so Joe I spent that class. Anytime I had class with my friends, it was a blast. It was hilarious. Oh, yeah.

It was great. It was a vacation, effectively. And Joe would, very nice guy, but when he didn't like something, he was like, completely up against it. So he butted heads with this teacher,

and a teacher would kick him out all the time, or I would get Joe into a lot of trouble. And I'd get Joe into a lot of trouble a lot, especially like, The teacher would be like, yaw had her. Like, having to say after the class, y'allel her. That I'd stay out in the hallway, and I'd be screaming in the hallway. And Joe would start laughing while somebody's yelling at him.

Get into way more trouble. Dude. So Joe never learned anything in the class. Like, I'd use the materials properly. So one day we're outside. We're welding, right? And I'm welding and paying attention to my thing. So I'm, right?

And then I hear this. thing happened that they warned us about they're like hey you've got to turn on the tanks in a certain in a certain sequence otherwise the flame will shoot back up into the tank and explode and like this was something that everybody in the class knew except for Joe was like the procedure for how you doing all this thing my god and then so one day we're all welding and the Joe starts turning the knobs all in the wrong ways. And it starts squealing.

And there's a little bubble traveling in the two. You can see the bulge of the bubble. There's a bulge coming back and you hear it. It's a loud, high-pitched, like squealing noise coming from the tank because it's going back the wrong way. And I'm screaming at Joe, turn all the knobs to the right. I'm like, turn it to the right, turn it to the right. He's doing the opposite of what I'm telling him.

And it's getting louder and worse. And I'm like, yo, we're going to die. I can't even run away fast. enough. We got all these tanks here. They're all going to go off for sure. And Joe's doing it all right. The garage doors open.

And one of our friends, who, for no good reason, Aaron, was out of class. Apparently he just left class. He's roaming the outside of the school. Runs into the garage. He should not have been there at all. Runs into the garage, stops and starts following my instructions and starts turn it all the right ways and stops this explosion from happening. Aaron saved everybody on that wing of the school.

He almost multi-killed everyone in that building. Everybody. It was such a dire situation and from one of our random friends to happen to skip class that day to just row and running and save us. This is why you always skip class. You never know. Like he saved my friends and skip class. Yeah. Those are the two pieces of it.

Make friends and skip class. He skipped class for Halo. That was good. Did we? College. Oh, that's right. Yeah, we went home. We all went to college for Halo 4, too, which is crazy.

It wasn't even like the one that I liked. But like, we got there in the morning. And they were like, you want to just go home and play? So we drove to school. We drove to school. And then like five or six people said, I don't want to do this. And we left and all got on Halo. So irresponsible.

It makes no sense. That's college though. Like I've Oh my God. I have skipped college For a chance to talk to a girl. Not even speak to them. Like I've just fucking,

it's college. I don't care. Like it doesn't matter if I'm there or not. I'll just go over the lesson. It's going to get posted On whatever canvas thing It's going to be on anyway. I'll just look at it there.

Oh my God. Going to class in college is stupid, It's not stupid. If you're like, if you need help with their classes, these should probably go. But if you're doing fine, fuck it, dude.

No, I didn't. Use a mess. I didn't have trouble. I didn't have a good time with my teachers, and then I figured out the trick was to not listen to teachers, and I just read the textbook, and it explained everything so much better. It was the craziest solution I could come up with, but it helped so much. Teachers are useful if you don't understand the thing.

Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes.

Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.

How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first Volt-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very, very, large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. All right, quick quiz for the hiring managers out there. What's worse? Being understaffed or being poorly staffed? Well, that's a trick question, because both are recipes for chaos. Either way, just say to yourself, this is a job for indeed sponsored jobs. You'll get matched with candidates

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at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed's sponsored jobs. But if you do understand it, it's fine. In whatever, like, mathematics class I was in in college, I just read the textbook,

and it just solved all my problems. Every math teacher I ever had was just terrible compared to the textbook. Yeah. I just gave up. I was like, why aren't they just explaining it like this? For me, I just knew early at that point, I was like, I'm just not going to be a math person, I guess. Because I heard of Marco.

He read the entire history textbook. And then he was just like, yeah, they made everything easy for me. And I was like, can you just do that? And I was like, all right, I'll read the entire math textbook. Change everything. The only time you're necessary for me is when I genuinely don't know what the fuck's going on. Yeah. Well, the issue, too, is that you feel stupid asking questions.

Especially when the teachers don't have any patience whatsoever. Yeah. I don't have nothing. I have, I don't have that problem. If I'm very confused, I'm like, Hey, guys, I don't know what's going on. Please help me. Oh, my God.

If I'm very, like, if I kind of grasp it, I'll just go to YouTube and someone on YouTube would be able to explain it to me. You know, but if I'm like lost in the water, like, let's say right now I got dropped into a fucking, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I'd be like, hey, I don't know, I'd be like, I understand basic physiologists, read the book. Yeah. Hopefully. I guess. I don't know. Well, I'm getting hungry. Like something fierce.

Oh, God. It's later than it. Yeah. Yeah. So we're going to, we're going to bid farewell. But thanks for popping by. And if you're listening to this when it's public, Patreon.

com, Sterser Star Tank over there, all that stuff. And we're not going to do the credits. I'm not doing the credits for this. Are you sure? I really do it's gonna take a while. The boys continue to talk for an additional 15 minutes. Thanks for doing this. We planned on doing this a long time ago, but like things got busy for everybody, basically.

The last three months have been insane with our friend group. It's been like, we had, we had two weddings right after one another and then my birthday, right? No, we had a wedding, birthday, wedding, birthday again, then my birthday again. My birthday again. Right. It sucks. I hate springtime. Yeah.

So fucking much. I got another wedding next week. Next week, really? Yeah. Damn. Yeah. It's going to be really nice. Where is it going to be?

That's, uh, I don't know. But I know the next day. That's exactly what I, dude, I never know. The day of is my like, when I learned, when I got invited to Nikki's, Nikki and Jordan's wedding, I was like, okay, cool. Didn't look up the place. Didn't look up where it was. On the day that I woke up to get dressed.

I was like, I should look up with this. Yeah. I thought it was way closer. I just know there's a yacht party the next day for the wedding. Oh, that sounds like a wedding yacht party. That's cool. Hell yeah, dude. That wedding was a fucking blast.

It was so fun. Ziggy and Jordan's wedding. Oh, yeah. And then Paul's wedding, I didn't think it was going to be a big, I didn't think it was going to be a ceremony because I spoke to him and it's like, we're going to just say our vows. He was fine. He's like, you don't got to come early. Like, just show up.

I appreciate you being there. He showed up in a helicopter. Yeah, they dropped him down. And I was like, Dominguez, you told me it's not going to be big. I haven't seen your parents in almost 12 years. Oh, you didn't think his parents were going to be at his wedding? I thought it was, you know how we orchestrate things as our friend group. It's never anything like, it's never an organized event.

It's always something smaller. Sure. And I was just like, oh, I thought it was more as like a party, like more of a barbecue. That's what I thought it was. It was, really. We had two weddings back to back to compare them. And one was clearly a ceremony and one was clearly a party.

And I was like, all right, cool, I'm gonna get there a little late. You know, it's not a big deal. I'll show up. I show up and he's giving his vows. Yeah. In front of like, I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

So then you guys made me talk in the music that was playing. No one made you talk. Yes. Gabby and you were like, you should talk. And you were like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like to talk.

I'm here so fucking late. So I gave a fucking stupid ass, sappy fucking thing, and I tried not to cry. He's almost cried like five times in a matter of 10 seconds. Dude, yeah, I gave two speeches. One with Gabby. Yeah, yeah, that was fun. I, dude, I didn't want to. I, yeah.

I walked up, I thought it was over. Yeah, right, you walked up and they were. And I was like, here's the mic. I was like, all right, I guess it's time. I hate giving speeches. In general, I'm just not a fucking, I'm not good in front of crowds. I'm good in front of crowds if I'm not fucking sick. Oh, God.

Yeah, you were. Remember that live show we did? You were fading. You were, you were like... You were like... You were like... Curling over a little bit. Dude, we did a live show.

Like, curling over a little bit. I was like, you're trying to become fucking Sonic? Dude, I ate... I ate something bad or something because like, I had two... I had two shows. Because I did the show with you and then I did the show with the PlayStation show. And this is one of the first live shows that we did. And I was just sick out of my mind.

Oh, dang. And I wanted to go out and like, go into the audience and like do some stuff. And I was like, I can't. I won't. I'm going to throw up. Did you... Do you ever, I don't know, tell that story about the absent to your audience? Oh my God.

I almost forgot about that. I don't know. Because there's still a bunch of stories that I know we're not remembering. There's a bunch of stuff. We'll probably do it again at some point. Yeah, I do it against the future. I know we're going to be hanging out and it's something weird is going to happen. Like, it's like this other fucked up time.

Right, right. The absence shit. So, tell me. Do you remember the absence with Danny? What? I remember when we did it freaking in New York when we ate the worm? No. I wasn't there for that then.

You ate the worm with them? I didn't eat the worms. So, I still was straight edge. But in New York, I still didn't drink. Yeah, we both didn't drink at all, basically. You guys were straight edge.

I forgot. Yeah. The druggies were me and other guys. We were the fucking pothead drugs. I don't like to say straight edge necessarily because that like comes along with stuff. I just kind of, I just kind of didn't want to do it.

Right. It wasn't like a principle or anything. We were in an environment where, like all the girls we hung out with. drank. Yeah. All of the guys did not. And they would get slashed and we'd have to deal with the problem.

Yeah, we would always have to. Like, I remember a friend of ours? That shit was really shitty. Yeah. Do you remember at the, there was like a birthday party that we went to? This was like during high school.

Yeah. And like all the girls were drinking and we just didn't. Yeah. And so it was just like, God. Yeah. And then one of them went fucking missing in the woods. Oh, God.

I wouldn't be surprised. And this is one of the times when we were like camping out in the backyard. Yeah. It was like one of the campouts. Oh, yeah. And then we went out into the woods looking. and then we found her sleeping in the back of a car. Right.

Like in the, just in the driveway. And we were looking for this girl that was drunk and we definitely lost her. And it was like, yeah, and it was ours. Dude, nothing bothers.

That was the whole party basically turned into a search. But it was how it was, dude. I would drink a lot when I was younger for probably whatever reason. And by the time I got out of here, I was kind of already off of drinking and smoke me. But I remember we'd like,

we had a musk, I was a muskato, I think, or something like that. And we ate the worm at the bottom of it. And I was hooked. hallucinating. Like I was so, I was, I was,

I was so, I was so drunk. I was so drunk that my piss smelled like alcohol. Oh, that's real. That's bad, like it was like so bad.

I had alcohol poisoning. I don't even think I've experienced that. Dude, I was drinking water. I was drinking water. And when it touched my tongue, it turned into like listerine pretty much.

Like I was so beyond drunk. I was sweating. Your body was confused. I was sweating and it would smell like alcohol and I was like, I have to go home. Dude, if I don't go home right now and I die, my grandma's going to fucking kick my ass. Right, right.

So I think I might have told the acid story, but I don't know if I remember it right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because like, from my perspective, it was like we went to a party at a, at this girl friends of ours apartment. Yeah. Even Oakwood, actually, which is like apparently a very famous fucking Los Angeles apartment. A lot of actors like Conan O'Brien. I know the ones you're talking about.

Oh, they come out of there? Yeah. It's like that weird building in New York where like Larry David and like fucking Timothy Shalamee and Larry David freaking. Oh, Charlamagne the God. What's his name? Coleman Diego. Like all of them lived in that place in freaking house kitchen.

Yeah. All of them lived there. It's insane. But that apartment complex is that apartment complex like out here. It's like it's crazy. I was like, look. I was like that's where fucking our friends live. That's crazy.

Right. But that's the absent apartment, which is hilarious to think about. Right. Right. But I remember it was like some birthday party or something. And it was our first time out here. Like, I remember when I came out here, I just let the fuck loose. I was in a media's like, I'm drinking all the time.

Fucking whatever. I'm like, I'm 21. I don't have to think about like how it's going to reflect on my family. You're right, right? Or whatever. That was my worst nightmare, I think was like being drunk and being picked up by my parents. Oh. You know what I mean?

Like that was like, I just didn't want to, I wanted to avoid that entirely. So when I got out here, it was like all holds barred. Yeah. And I had like, I ever had a bottle of jack next to my bed. Yeah. It was crazy. Yeah. We were actually drinking for real.

That was cool. We went crazy. We were doing it. We're playing ketchup. Yeah. That first couple months was crazy. Yeah. But we went to this party and it was like, I think somebody's 21st birthday party or something.

Yeah. And we, everybody was drinking. We had a bunch of alcohol. We were drinking a bunch of it. That's for sure. We were drinking a lot of it. I remember there was a, like, a bowl full of gummy worms that was soaked in alcohol. We did have the gummies, too.

That I ate like a shit ton of. That was when I, I think I had my first joint there too. Oh, yeah. And I did not know how to smoke. So I coughed. And it was fucking horrible. I love to call. I still get them now because I don't smoke anymore.

It's hilarious. But so what I remember, tell me how you remember this via this, tell me how you remember this absent being introduced. Okay. Because I don't know if I'm remembering this right because it sounds fucking insane.

Okay, wait, are you going to say it first? I want you to say it because I've told it before and I don't want to color your memory. So I don't really know how it was introduced. I know that somebody, because we're already drunk at this point. And then somebody comes with a, a bottle or something, just absent.

And it's just like, go, yeah, we're all drinking it. And it's like, I don't really know what absent is. But I heard it's crazy. It's bad. Let's drink it. Yeah. And then, yeah, and then we had it. And then I forgot we had it.

And then things went so awry after. And I didn't think about like, oh, this is happening because like everybody's like really messed up. That was the, that was. Like, I didn't know why these events were happening. but it makes sense after knowing that like, oh yeah, the tipper was like, oh, we had absent. That was, I have never been to a place where people were more fucked up. Yeah.

Than in that apartment that day for that party. Yes. For multiple people to be that fucked up. It was that many people that were like near blackout drunk. It was a lot of people. I don't know how many people were blackout drunk, but I know people were fucking fighting. I know there was like people were scratching. I got scratched the fuck up.

I got knocked out at one point. Somebody picked up like a. statue or something and hit him in the back of the head. This is how I remember this. And he collapsed on the ground. I was like, Jalen? And he was like,

what? And I was like, okay, he's fine. Yeah. But I remember just fighting in that apartment. But it wasn't real. It was a joke.

It was like a joke. It was like a joke. It was kind of scary. Not really. It wasn't, actually, it wasn't, we're too drunk to be properly scared,

but it was weird because it was like a laughing, fighting, thing. I don't know like it was laughing, but it was a joke, but it was also like fighting. Like enough to get knocked over the head with and put out, you know, so it's just like. People were play fighting, but like serious. It's all I can describe it as because it wasn't serious, but it wasn't, I don't know what the fuck, man. Right.

Like there was real strangling happening, but it was also like smiling at the same time. Like Joker would release some gas in the room. But what I remember, what I remember about this is that I blinked. Yeah. And we were in Home Depot. Oh, that's true. What the fuck was that? How did we get there?

What was the reason? Why were we there? The next day, I had like a vacuum or something. We needed to be in Home Depot. But all I know is that like we woke up in pain and was like just like mission. Like, all right, we got to go to Home Depot. And begrudgeonly ended up at Home Depot. I was not conscious for this.

There was a lot of moments of like blinking and the next scene was there. Like after the absence. That is insane. Yeah. I remember coming too. Like I blinked and I was looking at piping or something. Yeah. Two by fours.

I was sitting there and I was like... I think when you pointed it out, I became conscious. And I was just like... Yeah, we are here. Yeah. It was like autopilot until we were there. How I remember this was that somebody came in with the... Did you ever see Anastasia?

Sounds familiar. It was like that animated movie where the guy had like the vial of green shit. I remember this guy came in with absence. Yeah. And I remember it in a vial. I feel like it wasn't in a bottle. I feel like it wasn't in like a fucking thing or a container. It was in a vial.

I swear to God. That sounds about right. It was a vile. And we split it because nobody wanted to drink it because I think everybody was like. No, the birthday girl drank it. Oh, yeah, she's clearly. Yeah. She must have.

Yeah. That's wild. Yeah. Really just drank some green shit from some vials. We drank green shit out of a vial from a complete stranger. Yeah. That like we did not know. I didn't know that guy.

My sister's always telling me stop taking drugs and strangers and I guess I just never learn. Well, on that note, bye everybody, thanks for showing up. I don't know, maybe we'll do this again if we remember more shit. If we ever talk about shit like this again

and shit comes up, I'll write it down. And then we'll put it on a list of things and we'll get it all on fucking documented and shit. But it's way longer. I expected to go for like maybe 40. minutes. But so much content. Two hours. God's body. You still got to go back home.

At least it's not traffic at this hour at least. You'd be surprised. Relative. I don't know what's out there. You don't know what's out there? I live up the street. You got to get home. I got to get home. All right. Well, bye guys. Military life isn't

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