The Snark Tank - #34: Stop The Simpsons!

Episode Date: August 21, 2020

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and they're pretty goddamn good. Believe me, guys, it's the perfect package for your perfect package. Get 20% off and free shipping with the code, snark tank at manscape.com. Do yourself a favor, and always use the right tools for your tools. Ah, that's enough testicle talk. On with the show. Dead Mean Welcome to another Snart Tank podcast with your host, Tom Sweeney. I'm here today with my nigger and my, you can say you're Puerto Rican. My other nigger, Chris Ray Maldonado and some Derek Blackman statistic. I can't believe you doxed me.

Yeah. I can't believe you doxed me on our own podcast. They already fucking know your name, bitch shit. His name isn't available anywhere, man. Are you serious? I've looked at you up and left you bad comments. I've literally left bad comments about you. Like an IMDB at Chris Ray Maldonado, this nigga is stupid.

I hate him. Hope he gets shot. That's what it says in my IMDB. Do I have an IMDB? I think you do. Let's see. Let's see, Chris. Why would I have an IMAWDV?

Chris. Ray Maldonado. It auto completes. So definitely people are looking for your bitch ass. I've never heard of YouTube fandom.com. Oh my God. This is your Facebook. You're going to get fucked.

No. They're about to fuck you. Yeah, there's a SoundCloud. What is, what? No, I don't see datingcelebs.com. What is this? What is this? I'm opening it.

Ooh, look at this picture you. Wait, what? There's a picture of you showing your dick, like one of those fucking really scandalous pictures. And it's like, dude, what are you doing? What are you doing with this? It's the one where your dick's like pretty much in front of your face, you know? Like, it's like, it's an angle. One of the classics.

Yeah. What is that? What is it? What does that mean? It's one of the dick picks where you like you put your like you have their like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like you're like that's your profile picture on dating celebs.com. Oh shit. I don't know how that one got out there. So it says.

So um. So um, uh, in in bold. that says, who is Chris Ray Maldonado dating? Says Chris Ray Maldonado is currently dating Lacey Green. The couple started dating in 2017 and have been together for around three years, three months, and 15 days. Okay, well, I got, that's news to me. I got news for you.

Well, I got news for you. Like, who runs these sites? I don't know, but it literally thinks you're still together because it says, It says, as of 2020, Chris, Chris Reagan's girlfriend, what? This doesn't even make sense. Chris Reagan's girlfriend is, like, it says as of 20, how does it, that doesn't even make sense. What does it say? Okay, okay, I'll just read it.

As of 2020, Chris Ray Maldonado's girlfriend is Lacey Green. They began dating sometime in 2017. He is Sagittarius and she is liberal. That's weird that they, that's probably correct, I'm assuming. And that's like, I guess, I don't know. The most compatible signs with Sagittarius are considered to be Ares. Okay. So it's a bunch of weird. Okay, I know what type of person this is. So I said it's a horoscope kind of deal. It goes into all these signs and shit. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What is your rising? Wait, wait. Okay. I thought I wrote. Okay. Okay. It said Chris had been in at least one relationship before this one. He has not been previously engaged. So that's interesting. I thought you were married before.

Yeah, I got married. I got divorced. My son is dead. It's quite a life. I don't know. understand like how because it's updated right unless there's like a bot that updates it it has to be a bot dude it has to be because like it says three years now but like surely they if they've

updated it to three years they would know that the information is inaccurate yeah like so like I just don't I just don't fucking get it these sites are really fucking weird yeah have you ever like that famous birthdays it like update shit like subscriber counts and stuff have you noticed that yeah it's so weird

Yeah, is it, because I'm on it right now. Is that like you have more than 600K? Is that like a fairly accurate thing to say? Like it's pretty close to where you're at right now? Yeah, yeah. This is so weird, man. I don't, yeah, that's so weird. It's probably bots because I can't imagine people updating that shit all the time.

That doesn't make any fucking sense. YouTube personality best known for his channel, Chris Reagan. He's garnered popularity for his political and pop culture satire via vlogs. What? Vloggers. You've made two vlogs probably ever Bro, the amount of just sheer misinformation is astounding

It's like wild It must be so weird to be a celebrity I'm so glad I don't have one of those Makes me so fucking happy I'm sure you do dude I don't look it up please don't look it up Oh we're totally gonna look it up Ew I have an IMDV too that's gross

I wonder if Sweeney has an IMDV Tom Sweeney IMDB It's not you're lying That's fucking awesome You're lying Tom Sweeney IMDV It's just all my videos but yeah, you're there.

That's so not true. That's so weird. I'm so weird. That's so fucking weird, dude. I didn't even know I had an INDB either. Yo, you're fucking. It's true. It's fucking true.

Yeah, I told you. Dude, we all, we all. It says I was a Captain America win a soldier. No, some guy in these movies is named Tom Sweeney. That's what it has to be. It has to be that. It's so fucking awesome. I swear to God.

Anyway, I was in that movie. Anyway, this is a podcast. This is a podcast where we occasionally talk about things. We occasionally make a funny, maybe sometimes. I was in Winter Soldier, dude. You know, that must be exciting news to find out that you were in Winter Soldier. Yeah, I'm a fucking God. Who you credited as, is Bucky Barnes or who is it?

Random bystander that died. The hell of Carafellie on me. There you go. That's happened. Tom Sweeney as winter. It's so fucking ridiculous. I was also in the dark night. Yo, this Tom Sweeney, this other, Tom Sweeney is living a really successful life, and you should be quite frankly, pretty ashamed.

Nah, that's me. I was in a tale of Jordan Hunt. That's how you made, I think. That's my video. That's my video. That's my video. Dude, it has little. dude, it has little Chris Raygun

as the fucking image and it's when you had your fucking stupid ass curly hair. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, my profile picture on IMDB is for some reason, a picture of me from my very first public video on YouTube. So it's just this old, it's just this child

photograph of like me. How do they make, how do they even make this shit? Like, I don't even that is so weird. It's just random. It's also like, I'm going through the photo gallery and some of them are like just my thumbnails, but then some of them are like screen caps

from random YouTube streams or like random like Twitch streams that I know don't, like somebody somebody took these like themselves. Like they're not like you can't find these online. Huh. Like you'd have to, you'd have to screenshot a stream to get them.

Yeah. Some people have nothing better to do. Yeah, I guess. I mean, it looks like somebody because I'm looking at mine right now and it's stopped at 2018. early 2018 is when is like the the deepest it's gone and I just who put this together I don't even like that they my real name's on here too I mean I don't give a shit because it's not it's not like private information but my name's not even on here mine it's supposed to be like Derek Blackman that's my performer name so everything you find on the internet would be under that name so it's kind of weird that it's like oh Derek pilot here's your credits from your YouTube and I'm like you guys guys just dumb fucking up man

I don't like this at all it is really creepy people gonna be find my porn now and shit all of them all of all of the porns I was involved in in fact Derek's been a fucking amateur porn star for fucking five years how would you feel if you found out that like

somebody that you were like really good friends with or somebody that you roomed with was like this secret porn star that you didn't know about I wouldn't care really I would be upset that they didn't tell me I'd be like annoyed that I wouldn't have been told that was like that's kind of cool You didn't trust me?

First of all, how are you not introducing me to some of these people also? But like, I really wouldn't care. But like, yo, do your thing, man. No, I mean, it's fine. I support it. Please don't shoot it in the house. I said, please don't shoot in the house. And if you do tell me so I don't sit there immediately.

What if you look up the catalog and then it's him in your room while you're asleep? Oh, that would be upset. I'll be so mad. I'd be like that would be very upset. He like, he grounded up. He grounded up some Ambien and put it in your fucking, I don't know, I don't know, whatever you, orio milkshake, whatever the fuck it is, you drink. And, uh, you're just dead. Water?

I drink a lot of water. You don't drink a lot of water. That's, there's like five water bottles in my room right now. What about that? A full of piss? Like that fucking picture you posted, Derek? That was so disgusting. Dude.

There was a, it was kind of upsetting. Just a little. There was a handful of people that thought that shit was actually my picture. You know, how many, how many gallons of piss was that? That was at least 10 gallons or something. I was like, there was people that were actually, I was like, dude, I can't believe you would even think for a second that that's possibly me. They're like, that'll happen every now and again. Sometimes, sometimes you'll post a, sometimes you'll post shit for the meme and then people will just think it's like,

totally, totally real, because not everybody is caught up on the context of what the joke is. Yeah, like Justin Wang did a similar

thing where it's like, who was it that was tweeting about like, oh, it was like Dave Rubin was tweeting about how like, I love a good steak and he tweeted out this picture

of a steak, but it was like a steak from Google Images. So Justin Wang was like, oh, I love a good steak and he did the same thing and everybody was like,

wow, Justin fucking took a steak from Google Images. I remember that so vividly. They don't, that's, yeah, There's a lot of people that just don't fucking understand.

And I just thought it was funny because my friend sent that to me a while ago. And I was going through my pictures on my phone. I'm like, I got to tweet this out. And it was, I don't know, I just question anybody that would think that, yeah, I want to expose to, I want, like, there's 80-something thousand people on Twitter. I want to expose to all of you how I live with piss in my room. And it's not even covered. There was no caps on the fucking bottles. That's the most upsetting part.

It wasn't even the decency of, like, keeping the aroma. It just reeled the piss. It just reek the, though. Dude, you can probably walk in and kick one of those gallons of piss over, my mistake, and now your floor's covered in fucking bed. Yeah, I'm sure. But for real, like, I don't know, people expose really stupid shit about themselves all the time. Sometimes people tweet sex takes of themselves with really young people,

with their tiny dick flopping around their fat, stupid gullets. And, you know, that's, sometimes. Sometimes people do that. Sometimes they absolutely do. Sometimes you send one girl your dick pit that she posted all over the school, and now your dick picks everywhere in school and your friends are showing you pictures of your dick. And you're like, nah, that's not my dick, man. She's lying.

It happens. Then why does it have your signature and serial number on it? First of all, who the fuck has a serial number on their dick? What you don't? Let me see your dick, Kingston. See if you have a serial number on it. I'm just like, ah, nah, man. I don't feel too good.

I gotta go to, I gotta go throw up. You guys don't have serial numbers on? No, I, the, the base of my shaft, there's a fucking barcode. Yeah, exactly. Okay, yeah, me too. All right, he's the fucking weird one here. I have, I have like 30 numbers on my dick. Mine's 80 numbers.

So stupid. You know, it's funny, like, I, the idea of, like, seeing, like, a friend's dick pick or something like that would, would kind of annoy me, right? But I would have zero problems seeing their sex tape. Like if they were like, they were like, oh, this sex tape of me got leaked, I'd be like, yo, put it on. Like, I definitely want to see, like, them. Like, I basically want to judge them.

But like, I don't want to judge their piece if that makes any sense. Well, you're going to see their piece, you know. You're going to see it, but it's like, I'm seeing it for a specific reason. A piece in context is different than a piece with. contact. Yes, exactly. Exactly. I constantly, like, whenever I watch porn, I constantly skip around penises. I just don't want to see them. I'm like, I mean, that's, my dick enough. I don't want to see another dick. No, I, I, look, I, that's me, my, if I, I, I rarely watch porn, but when I do, I like, I like, it's just the girl, right? And it's just more of, like,

an amateur feel to it. Like, I see, like, those cameras that are too fucking, there's too much production, it just seems like, oh, I'm watching, I'm watching a movie. I'm watching something that's 100% fake. But if it's like a cell phone camera with decent lighting or something. Yeah, I don't watch any of that. I just go on Pornhub and I look up Blue Team destroys Red Team on Blue Base. Of course you do. Oh, and that just gets you fucking pulsating, doesn't it? Turn on the audio of Halo 2 and fucking beat you dick to that. He just bust immediately. This fucking grunt screaming. You're like, yes! Yes! Oh, that's so gross.

Can you imagine being sexually attracted to like just halo? Just a franchise literally just like attracted to, like you're attracted to Harry Potter, but not the character or the characters, but just the premise of the franchise existing. I mean, I've definitely heard Keith David's voice and got a little bit of a chubster going on. That's definitely happened to me before. Well, I mean. You just have like fucking the chamber of secrets on and you're beating off to it. Just on in a...

I love the Whomping Willow. You have the chamber tickets on you're not even looking at the movie. You're just beating off to the sound of the movie. Yeah, it's just... It actually, it just, it turns me off if I hear, if I see the... If I see the movie, like, it's only the sound that's arising. That's fucking zamy. That's a whole different type of disease at that point.

That's, you need an operation, bro. What do you think that is? It's more of like a disorder or, like, a disorder. like an ailment. Yeah, it's almost like a Pavlovian response, right? Pavlovian, yeah. Yeah. It's like you hear this and then you immediately just start dripping, you know?

Like, it's, oh, oh, oh, oh, go. Do you think, do you think, or whatever? Let's say, let's say hypothetically, you lived with people and you kind of could, you could kind of predict when it was that they were, you know, jerking it. Like, based on like, okay, the door's locked at this hour every, every, every day. I have a pretty good shot of understanding like that this is what's happening. If you played like,

if you found that time throughout the day to just play like a really hideous sound, do you think you could have like a Pavlovian response at that point where you played like, I don't know, the sound of, the sound of like a camel getting its throat slit and then like you'd play it in the living room and then your roommate would just like, do you think he would walk into his room and lock the door?

Because he's conditioned him? That takes a lot of conditioning. That's probably, it's probably a little late. once like you know once like you're an adult already it's probably a little late for that because like you probably can you probably already associated sex with something like already like already like it's already like hide wide into your brain already but that I guess as a little kid like if you were like a preteen and every time you heard the sound of like a fucking camel getting slaughtered when you got an erection if you kept doing that eventually you can just

play that sound and embarrass him you guys want to sound funny hold jerry down real quick it's like what are you guys doing you play the camel getting like now touch him I bet he has a boner. I bet he has a boner. Touch him. I bet he has a dick. He's like, he doesn't have a what the fuck?

You got turned on to this and he's just like, nah, dude, wait, it's deeper than that. This is going to be so funny, guys, huh?

I touch his dick. That's the prank. You just touch, you touch your friend's dick and that's the prank. That's the joke. Remember the joke about the guy that would shove his dick

in his friend's nose as a fucking prank? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Shub his nose. Fonk's not just all flimsy Like a fucking elephant's ear I'm fucking disgusting

Anyway we have real topics to talk about I think We do We do We actually do It was actually a bit So we can take our pick As to what to jump in do first There's

There's I think we'll start with Ben Shapiro Because Ben Shapiro Did a segment on his I don't know Is it called the Ben Shapiro show Or is it just the

Daily Wire. I have no idea. I have no idea. But yeah, let's just say... Ben Shapiro has a show where he talks and people listen somehow. And so he was talking about that new Cardi B and... Is it Nicky Minhaj? It's a Cardi B and Megan the Stallion. Yeah, Megan the Stallion. Megan V. Stalian. Get a right. Yeah, I don't know. This is the first time I'm even hearing about Megan the Stalian. So like, I don't know anything about this person. But yeah, you know, she... It's not important. She and Cardi V had this song Called Is it called WAP?

Is that the name of the? Wop. Yeah, Wap. And it's pretty vulgar So if you want to listen to it, feel free. But he has this whole fucking spiel About he's like reading the lyrics And he's like censoring Pussy

Like he can't bring himself to say pussy He can bring himself to say we should bomb innocent people with no recourse but he can't bring himself to say the P word Yeah It's pretty It's just delightful

For hearing a grown-ass man Not being able to say Pussy You know I understand him censoring N-word right And he's like beat it up N-word I'm like okay I get it Catch a charge

Catch a charge again Because you guys always do that Extra large Extra large and extra hard I like when he starts it off though There's some horse in his house Swipe your nose like a credit card The best part of it is when he

When he starts off like with the beat So it's like there's some whores in this house And it's like there's some horse in this house There's some horse in this house There's some whores in his house Like he's just It's such a like what are you doing bro Like I don't understand how he doesn't see that

Like he must understand that that's funny Right? Like he knows that that's funny. To a certain extent, I've seen some other clips, some people have unearthed some shit from his show. I think people that actually watch him and he fucks around quite a bit, I guess. Or I saw him do like a live stream and he was saying, I forgot the context. But he like put like a curse, like a Jewish curse on somebody like, oh, Jew powers activator, some weird, weird stupid like thing that like maybe a 12-year-old would find funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, like, he does have a sense of humor, even though it's not, like, on the level of, you know, most people. He has a sense of humor, like, obviously, because he's a human being, and, like, he has to have one. Like, it's not even, like, you can't even opt out of that. But, like, I think generally, like, throughout that whole video where he's, where he's censoring the words and he's just reading it very straight, it doesn't, like, you don't at all, at any point in that video, get the sense that he's self-aware about. how he sounds, you know what I mean? Yeah, and especially because he says hores, but he can't say pussy. To me, there's just some weird thing where he's like, there's some horrors in his house, and then he's like, wet-ass P-word.

Went-ass P-word. Put this P-word in your mouth for some wet-ass P-word. Do a cagle wallets inside. There's something so, I don't know, man, there's something about Shapiro that's just like really inherently pathetic. Like that laugh, did you see that video of him laughing? That shit killed me. Somebody sent it to me in my DMs. It's the reason...

Sometimes I'm like, okay, I like having the DMs open because a lot of times I miss stuff that people send like fan art and whatnot, so it's nice. And then that one, like, kind of fuck me up. That fucked me up, dude. It's genuinely, like, a really unsettling video. Like, if you saw...

Like, all you have to do is color grade that video, and it becomes, like, a Bjork-stalker kind of vibe. Like, you just make it really... cool, you have cool tones, very high contrast on the blacks, very up the white a little bit. And it's like, it's immediately like something that you'd

Yeah, it's immediately like something that like the police department would receive on a VHS that's unmarked. Like, what is this fucking person doing pretending to laugh? I heard that somebody said, no, I haven't seen in content.

I haven't seen this. But somebody said that he was trying to imitate Kamala Harris. And apparently she laughs like that. But I haven't really, I don't have any recollection of her laughing. So I had nothing compared to and I wasn't that interested in looking into it. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't think Kamala Harris has ever laughed in her life.

She laughed when she found out about all those people that were smoking marijuana and she got arrested. Oh, yeah. She laughed about it. I was like, holy, I saw her laugh, actually. She doesn't really laugh like that. Well, she laughed. Yeah, I haven't seen her, like a maniacal laugh like that. But she definitely laughed, especially like, oh, I'm asking about like.

smoking weed and she's like oh well i'm jamaican and fucking dude even her dad was like hey man you respect our heritage de b b b bia guan he didn't say you're insults in my culture now stop yeah he said that he he said he literally he said something like that and then he immediately lit up like a joint bigger than his arm immediately smoking and blew to the fucking report in his face and he died he rolled himself in a he rolled himself in a blanket put a salad at his mouth and set himself on fire. That is the most insane shit ever, dude.

Yo, you turn yourself into a fucking marijuana and you burn yourself. What if that was, that's the original, that's actually like the origin of self-immolation, things that the, those monks did? I don't agree with that. I swear to you, the oldest photograph of self-immolation

is a man wrapped up in a, in weed paper, with a salad in his mouth and his head on fire. I swear to God. Successfully smoking himself to death. He's so high. And now his soul is even higher. God bless him. That legitimately happened and call him a, wow, Kamala.

See, I'm trying to say her name the right way. Dude, it's actually kind of, it's weird because like, I've, I've been fucking that up lately too for some reason. It's Kamala. It's Kamala. It's Kamala. It's Kamala. Oh, it's Kamala. Oh, it's Kamala Harris.

You're right. You're right. Yeah. That's why you, because I want to say Kamala. Yeah, yeah. And then it, like, it gets to the point where it's like, sometimes, like, I'll find myself being like, oh, Kamala Harris. Horace? Because it just, Horace, even though it's Harris.

Oh, God. Because it just rolls, it, like, follows that same kind of, uh, formula a little better than Kamala hair. Camelaharis. Camel Harris. Camel Harris. Yeah, no, I don't know. But speaking of actually, it's actually. that's actually a good segue

because speaking of Kamala Harris now I'm like now I'm overthinking the name Kamala Kamala Harris Speaking of Kamala Harris I don't know if you guys saw this

I know Derek saw it because I showed him just before we went live But Marge Simpson Called out the Trump Trump campaign senior advisor Because like The Trump campaign senior advisor Jenna Ellis

I think her name is, said that, like, said that Kamala Harris sounds like Marge Simpson. And the Simpsons did this weird thing where they posted this, this animation of Marge Simpson stepping out from a curtain being like, ow, I, I heard it was an insult. I feel disrespected. Ah! And it's just, it's, it's, it's,

it's, it's, it's, it's the most unsettling thing, too, because it's like, it's not even animated. really. It's like, it almost looks like go animate. You know those old go animate videos? Oh my God. Yeah, it's... It looks like automated. Like, it's not animated properly like a Simpsons thing because of course not. Why would they spend their time

on it? Which, I mean, begs the question why even put it at all, but... It's absolute trash. Everything about it. And something that really upsets me, I forget her name, the voice actor, like Julie, something. It doesn't matter, but

she's been doing March for so long that you can tell that her voice is shot. It's done. She sounds terrible. Anyone that's a Simpsons fan, just go watch the early seasons. I'm talking about even up to maybe like 13 or whatever. That's when I completely checked out. She now, her voice is shot. It's done. She sounds like she's doing a horrible imitation of Marge. Like say, when you ever you see those pictures, I mean those videos online, when somebody's doing like impressions of specific, characters to the voice actor. Like you ever seen that? Like John DiMaggio, he's

gonna rate people's impressions. And that's what it sounds like. She sounds terrible and they won't replace her. And so it's fucking sad. Not only is this poorly animated, it's just hearing her voice just so fucking destroyed. It's just everything about it just upsets me, man. I hate it.

It's also just really awkward. Like, there's something about like cartoon characters talking about real world politics that's just like, it just comes across as like, really kind of try hard and really really just borderline unnecessary because she opens it so like she walks out and she's like I don't usually get political and it's like yeah because you don't you don't exist it's it's annoying that's why you don't that's why you don't get also I I don't know

if I want to bring this up but I mean like I feel like it has to be said in this scenario where it's like dude the creator of the Simpsons I'm pretty sure is on like one of Epstein's flight logs. Oh, no, Matt Greaning? I'm pretty sure that's a thing. So like, the idea that one of his characters is just out there being like, I don't like to get political. It's like, yeah, I bet you don't. You too busy being inside of children, you fucking creep.

Okay, well, let's go that far. We don't know yet. I'm kidding. We just know that he was on the plane. What happened? The thing about me with Epstein less is this, guys. He was a socialite, you know? People just knew him.

Yeah, I'm sure. Look, I'm sure that there are people... I'm sure that there are plenty of people who just knew him and there's nothing really fishy about it. Like, imagine, look, he was so rich and he would probably throw like these ridiculous fucking parties and it would be like, well, how am I not going to show between one of Epstein's fucking gigs, you know? I mean, I mean, I met D1 and look what happened to him. I fucking, I met a lot of those dudes.

I went to Apex in like 2018 and I fucking bumped shoulders of the bunch of those. These guys are fucking dope. Come to find out, they smashed, they do more than... play the game. Yeah. Yeah. But like it happened. People,

people know people, you know? You're not a bad person for that. I totally like, I don't, wait until I tell you the story about what happened with my ex-girlfriend Caterina.

Like, it's fucking crazy. Oh, yeah. Wait, what if you were one of them and you never told us? Like,

no one ever brought it up. And then you just like, you just like kept it real hush, hush. How would that even be possible? They like found, these internet autists found, internet autists,

You mean an artist? No, no. It's odd. They're laser focused on shit that nobody in the right mind would give any fuck about. Like they just, they find these little kernels

that anyone else would miss. And it's insanity. They're like, you know, stacking up the body count of how many men she's been with. And it would baffle me if they missed you, Chris. It would baffle me.

Yeah, yeah. No, they couldn't. They'd be really slacken if they missed me because like those people are really impressive. Like do you remember when like a couple years back when Shilabuff was doing the He Will Not Divide Us thing and he kept hiding the flag all over the country and people kept stealing it because it was surrounded by landmarks and he finally just put it up in a place where it was just like it was just the flag against the sky so no one could use any landmark references and they cross

referenced the clouds and the planes that would fly by on occasion to find the fucking flag? Yeah, that was insane. They found it each time. Yo, they found it every single time. I'm sure Shilabuff wakes up in a cold sweat wondering when people are going to find him now. Because he experienced first-hand

how good internet detectives are. I bet you could solve... I bet if the internet was around, like, the whole Jimmy Huffa thing wouldn't be a mystery. I'm certain of it. Holy shit. Or JFK. Or JFK, yeah.

Of course. There'd be like a TikTok of some dude. Fucking doing a cringy-ass dance and then jump fucking a guy that fucking shot him would be like, what you mind moving out the way? I got to do something real quick. No, no,

you just, you would just like see this dude doing like a floss dance or whatever and then you'd see like a gunshot fly out of a window behind him. I know where that is. I know where that is. That's fucking Houston, Texas. It's kind of amazing how much self surveillance there is.

You know what I mean? Yeah, time. Like, like just how much people are like recording themselves and how much people are streaming themselves to the point where it's like, if you really wanted to know what was going on anywhere, you could probably figure it out pretty easy.

Oh, Yeah. You know, the craziest thing is that people haven't caught up to, like, Russia as far as using dash cams. Yeah, yeah. Every crazy dash cam video that I've ever seen takes place in Russia. It's always like some lightning bolt hitting a moose and it goes and it's always, and it's captured by like eight different fucking dash cams. Yeah, they all have. It's just like a, it's like a thing they do. It's just customary and it's because they're violent. It's because every time you get into an altercation with a Russian, there's probably going to, you're going to need video evidence that something bad happened. Because they won't find your body Dude This shit that I see

I'm considering getting one Living in Living in South Central L.A. Is unlike any I was talking I was talking to this girl the other day And Yeah yeah

I'll get it We get it Yeah I was talking I was Oh, Derek talks to girls Wow No I was not

Yeah I was like Remember when I was talking about That that blonde right You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, god damn son You know what I'm saying But no like Okay, I was having a conversation about, I was having a conversation about, I think I can mathematically prove that something fucked up happens every five minutes when you're driving a certain mile per hour.

Because whenever I'm going, just, I go the regular speed limit. And about every five minutes, something fucked up happens. It's weird. And I was like, I need to, I need a dash cam to prove this. Because anytime, like I'm driving, I'll just like make a call put up into my Bluetooth or whatever. And I'm always yelling because I'm so angry about the stupid shit that's going around me. And, you know, people find it amusing, whoever I'm talking to. And let's see the last time, it's always people cutting people off.

Going into the opposite lane, you know, the lane that we're traffic is coming this fucking way. And they can head on collide with them. And they'll just, it happens all the time. There's just dudes walking. I mean, I guess this is everywhere. Dudes just walk in the middle of the street and not giving zero fucks about their lives. I saw a girl shitting after I just picked up my chicken and rice and she was just in the public just having a good old shit

and I'm like all right that's weird and it's pretty delightful and I think you guys would actually really like it if I hooked up a dash cam they could actually I think we're just really behind with the Russians and it's really we gotta do something about that yeah we really gotta I feel like it's just kind of like those videos are always just so entertaining you know yeah they're just so interesting to watch

because like occasionally you'll just see something just purely unbelievable. Like I remember, I think I saw this amazing video. I don't know if it was in Russia necessarily, but I remember this amazing video of like a deer getting hit by a car and then it like flew into the air and got hit by the car that was recording and then it hit a truck after it. So it was just this ping pong game with this fucking deer and it was genuinely like,

amazing. That was like the fucking Beirut explosion. I was watching it like what are the odds of this fucking happening? Yeah. And so many people

just film me and have so many different angles. Yeah. I once saw a bear that was just exploded all over the fucking it was

somebody, it was a small enough bear and it was it exploded. It was all over the fucking freeway. It was so disgusting seeing all that meat

just everywhere. And because it was some animals, man, they just have no, it's weird, like, because cats are pretty good about it, right? Like, they see something going really fast. And like, I'm not fucking going when something is whizzing that fast by me. But then there's deer. And I guess some bears in some places where bears are plentiful. I think every animal, once they get caught in the headlights, they kind of get frozen because they're like, what the fuck is that? And they're confused so they stare at it.

I get that. Some animals, like, I usually like dogs and cats don't go. when they hear the bunch of noise. Like, if they're hearing a ton of noise, they can feel like a bunch of motion, they'll be like, I'm going to wait until this passes me before I go in the street.

Unfortunately, I... Deers just don't give a fuck. I had a dream. I had a dream where somebody told me that the reason... And this is just... I know this is fucking false, but it made me laugh. It made me laugh so hard

that I laughed out of my sleep. But, like, somebody told me in a dream once that the reason deer frees when headlights come around the road is because they think it's a... sun, they think it's the sun and they think it can't hurt them because it's just the sun. So the thought of them like thinking in their...

How would they even know that? No, but I... What? How would somebody even like, they ask the dear, hey, hey, when you see the headlights, what do you think it is? Oh, well, it's the sun, of course. It must be just, it must be just like this subconscious theory that I had that, like, that was just told to me by like a

dream scape version of myself. Yeah. That I then, like, thought it was so stupid that I laughed myself awake. But the premise of just like, imagine you're just looking at a sunset. And you think it's beautiful. You think it's calming. It's like, oh, what a relaxing experience. And then steel.

Steel and gasoline and diesel and blood and marrow. That's your entire next second of existence. It's fucking wild. It would be painful for a little bit. Then it'd be gone. You'd be out of the fucking way. Yeah. I don't know.

Anyway, The Simpsons. yeah i don't know i i it's it's really they they they really should just like you said it's rushed this is totally rushed it was you know trying to be viral or something it's also just it's too i don't know man there's something about like seeing real world stuff in the simpsons like because the simpsons was always like a satire of shit you know like you had like the mayor who was obviously like a kennedy you know type and you have like all these people who are like satires of real people but aren't real people. So when you see like, you know, the squad, you know, and Donald Trump and like these people just like animated in the sense, it's like I get it.

Like it's not like it's not like they can't do that, but there's something about it that just feels like weird and kind of cringe, honestly. Well, there's kind of like, I don't like saying that word really because it's a fucking meaningless term. But saying cringe is cringe. Yeah, yeah. But like, I don't know. There's something about it. It's just bad. It doesn't need to happen.

Honestly, the Simpsons should really stop. It should have stopped ages ago. What is the reason? I know it makes money, but like... The reason, in my opinion, is to protect themselves or not to protect themselves. What I mean is to have the longest running thing of all time. And actually, South Park has figured out such a great formula that they're threatening them. And I think that's why they keep going.

because they could have rode off into the sunset a long time ago but South Park is able to make an episode in six days to where they can go on forever and I feel like they're just trying to protect that title I think that's all it is

I don't think yeah you might be right because they don't need anything else yeah because like the thing that's really confusing to me is like when you have a TV show like The Simpsons or like Seinfeld or like Friends these shows are like syndicated like you don't need

to make more. Like you could make bank on just the fact that the seasons that exist exist and that people will pay to watch them. You know? Yeah. I mean, it's... I don't know anybody, and this is real, like, it's sometimes debated within the Simpson's community of the last great episodes.

What was the last great season? Seasons. I've seen a lot of people. I've seen a lot of hipsters. Like, there was a video that went really viable that was the day the Simpsons died. It was in season eight. And I heavily disagree with that where I was just even thinking about an episode the other day. I think it was in a season nine or 10 where there was like this cult and there was like the leader. And it was like it was almost like a Scientology type of thing.

And it was, it's such a funny fucking episode. And I'm like, is that the, is that the we do one? No, it's not. That's the way earlier, the stone cutters. Yeah. No, this is the one where Homer joins his cult. And, you know, he gets, he gets brought into it. And there's this guy, the leader.

And he's basically going to bring everybody. you're going to ascend to the spaceship and all this bullshit but you know you find out that he's like fake at the end of it and the way that he's exposed is one of the funniest moments in the series to me just but it's you need it in context to really understand it like so if I posted the GIF only people that have seen the episode would understand the GIF. Yeah yeah yeah.

It's so fucking funny. It's an inside. It's an inside meme. And so it's like one of those things where I'm like, what the fuck? No, this is still great. I have seasons 1 through 12. Still all fantastic.

I even love season 12. Thing is, Simpson's shit posting is the only reason I'm on Facebook, for example. There's like a group of that, and then I'll check that on Instagram, and that's about it. And there is no shit posting that takes part in any of the seasons, any of the new ones, anything passed around, like I say, 12. It's all like 12 and under. No one gets a fuck about any of the shit that's still going on right now. Now, obviously, some hardcore, diehard people are probably still watching.

But as far as people enjoying the shit posting and the community and everybody talking about and trivia and everything, it's completely unnecessary for them to keep going. And it's awful. Like, I was just talking about Marge's voice. It's so bad. She needs to, she needs to go. Yeah, they're all fucking old. Yeah, they're all fucking dying.

And imagine, imagine doing that voice for decades. Like, yeah. That shit would hurt me. That shit hurts me now. Pretty soon that's all Marge is going to be. It's just going to be this fucking startling, like, smoker yet. Yoda. It's going to be so sad. I don't know. I feel like it's just always better to just go out on a high note, you know? Yeah, what does that one guy say? Um, uh, is it, is it, uh, you, what, you die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that means. It's become a bit of a meme that thing. Yeah. But like, I think, but, like, I think, but I think it's more accurate to just say, like, you just don't overstay you're welcome, you know? You have a good thing, and a good thing by definition is temporary, you know? Like, because I feel like the thing that makes something cool is the fact that it isn't, like, permanent. That's what gives shit value. So the fact that, like, you just have this show that was good at one point, but it lasts forever. It's like, ah, no, people are going to get sick of it. People get sick of, people get sick of their own lives, you know? Like, people are definitely going to get sick of a show.

100%. And there's so many great examples of just show. shows that just ended at the right time and are still really widely beloved. I feel like Seinfeld is one of those where it's just like that show ended and it never really got bad. Like the last episode's kind of like weird and like it's like a bad finale. But like it never, it never had the weird like 10th season where they were fucking, you know, on the moon or something.

Well, you know, that would have been pretty cool though. Yeah, it would be fucking absurd. Let's be real. But yeah, I don't know. I just feel like the Simpson should really fucking stop. Family Guy too, all these shows that are just going for this long? I didn't even know there was, I didn't know Family Guy or any of that Seth MacFarlane shit was still running. It's crazy.

But it is. It fucking is. It's not, it's not, I've tried, I remember, I don't know, I don't remember how long ago it was, but I tried watching a family guy episode. And I was like, all right, I was like, maybe I've just grown out of this shit. But then I went back and watched some of the older shit, like, because it was on Hulu. And I was laughing my ass off And I'm like, dude, no, it's not me. I just kind of reinforcing that this shit sucks now.

It's written terribly. I don't know who it's appealing to. I think what it is, in my opinion, I think it's just background noise at this point. I think people just have it on. It's just on. Well, also, family guy and the Simpsons just have the same issue

because they've been around so long that you can't. The problem is when something lasts that long, you can't write characters that are fun to pay attention to, I feel like. You can't write a good character for that long. Like, even comic books reboot themselves fucking periodically because they're like, ah.

Yeah, you're gonna fucking DC. They throw away everything they do. Like every few years, yeah, you can't follow. Not seven times, it's an exaggeration, but like five times. Yeah, yeah, because you can't follow Bruce Wayne the same Bruce Wayne for fucking 50 years. It's exhausting and it gets boring. That's what Marvin needs.

The Marvel needs to reboot. That's one of people that people say about Marvel. Marvel should do that a long time ago It was really fucking weird that I was like DC is having success doing this shit Like when New 52 came around for example I was actually really excited for that And people hate New 52 I liked it personally

People fucking hated that shit A lot of people I think it was a lot of people that are They're fucking grumpy ass motherfuckers dude I thought New 52 was But that's the thing though Is that you can still do those things And you can still take those chances And you can have like your new 52s that might be polarizing

And like some people might like them And some people might hate them But it won't interfere with the original run and the original run can exist as the timeless thing that it is. That's why I expect Ultimate Comics. Yeah, yeah. They're just make a modern universe and they were like, all right, cool, we'll do that.

And Ultimate Comics rocked for a while and then eventually they started declining. They started focusing on the main comics. Yeah. But it's like, The Simpsons is just The Simpsons. It isn't like The Simpsons and then The Simpsons Shippuden. You know, like it's fucking, it's all the same. It's the same thing. So like when that show gets worse, it just sort of

it fucks with the established part of the series that's actually good. I feel like you just can't have something that lasts that long. I feel like Always Sunny should be over, really. Like, I like Always Sunny still. They're still putting out episodes that make me laugh. But honestly, like, it's getting to that point where it's like, look, please stop. I don't want this to get bad.

I don't want this to get really, really bad. Well, I agree with you, but at the same time, I'm also surprised that they haven't put out a shit season yet. There's obviously highs and lows. Season 11 wasn't that good, if I remember correctly, that was the right one. I was the 11 or season or, I was either 11 or 13 that weren't that good. Well, here's the thing. I'll tell you one thing.

It's always going to be one of the later seasons. Yeah. Always will be. Because you just run out of shit to do with characters after a while. Like, you just can't, how, how deeply can you really explore a character for fucking 15 years? Like, you just fucking can't. Unless you're doing, like, movies and shit where it's, like, like one episode really every like three years and even that's kind of like a stretch you know even

that's like almost too long yeah definitely i mean it it's if you want something uh it's it's kind of like uh i liked i liked featureama for example uh i can't imagine i think that's a very underrated show with how brilliant it was and i like that it just had 10 seasons you know i got canceled a couple times but that was to me i think it helped because it was weird that when it came back for like say for example season seven is one of their best seasons and that's kind of unheard of when it's always like the early seasons are the best and then they come back and then almost every meme that's involved with futurama is from that season which is just insane and uh it's it's great show and they left they were good the ending was amazing and just really heartfelt and a moment.

emotional and I'm just like fuck I was like this is that was a great show and it's a great show because it ended it was just perfectly like it and what I liked it god it doesn't why would you why would they do that for fucking that and not that's why I say I think it goes back to just Matt graining maybe maybe just using extra money to fucking upkeep Epstein's Island or something I don't know because something just doesn't make any fucking sense I guess it's free money and like you know Seth McFarlane I'm sure doesn't give a shit about family guys anymore like you know like if we don't give a shit about it he certainly doesn't for sure certainly not he's definitely like way beyond it he's like ah whatever they this show makes a lot

of money the network adores it people watch it still um so i guess i'll come in and i'll do the voices i'll do my oh hey brian what's up ooh i'll do that for like fucking three hours a day or three hours a week and then i'm i'm i just have millions of dollars so i guess on some level i get it but it's at the same time, it's like, from a sheer, like, quality perspective, I feel like you could still make a bunch of money in syndication and selling the rights to, you know, like, I feel like people would pay top dollar to fucking have the streaming rights for Family Guy. Well, that's something that people would pay for. Yeah, I think so.

Absolutely. Because there's still, there's still a decent amount of pretty good seasons. Like, the fucking first, I think, four, right? The first four seasons, first three seasons, I think are typically referred to as, like, the best ones. I mean, I like, I like Family Guy when they first came out when I was younger. I think I personally outgrew it because I don't really find it funny as I used to. I think the episodes are like Brian and Striegono Adventures.

They just have really good seeing in it. And I'm like, these are just good tunes. But I don't really think it's that funny anymore. I would say they're good episodes. I like, it's weird because Family Guy is a show that like I can, I'll put it on. I'll put on like a recent episode now and it's like, this is funny, but it's not like,

I don't even know how to put it. It's just like worth a chuckle. That's all it is. You know what it is? It's like out of context YouTube clips. That's what it is. It feels like I'm watching like a clip show of something

that might be funnier in context, but in Family Guys' case it just isn't. Like there was a point where I was recently watching where it's like, I don't even know what the fuck happened, but like Lois dropped Stewie and she fell on the fucking bench. And Lois was like, oh, I'm so sorry. And he's like, and Stewie's like, nice throw, Casey Anthony. And I laughed.

It was funny. It was good. It was a good joke. But also, like, why is this not... Like, it's funny, but I don't like it. And that's weird. That's weird. And I think it's honestly just because the show just doesn't have heart anymore. Yeah, like... And the same thing with The Simpsons. It was funny, but it was also, like, kind of like...

There was an element of like... Like family. You know... It was like a weird, like, a... A flood of family down there. Yeah, there was like an element of family in it where it's like, you know, Homer's just trying to be a good dad. And, like, they're, like, really good moments in it. And early family...

guy had that too. Where like Peter wasn't just like a selfish asshole. He was just genuinely ignorant. Yeah. But now it's like, but now it's like Peter will just run up to his daughter and like kick her in the face. Well, that whole idea. Yeah.

When they start digging into stuff like that where, oh, let's make it really funny. Let's continue to bully Meg. And the same thing I feel like happened to SpongeBob where they were going hard in the pain on Squidward. And I was like, dude, this isn't that funny, man. Like I want Squidward to catch a fucking break. man. Like, he needs to win a couple of them, too. Well, he doesn't even need to win.

Well, the thing is, it's like the best episodes are the one that just don't feel mean-spirited for the sake of being mean-spirited, you know? You can have dark humor in anything. I think it's honestly, like, some of the funniest shit. But, like, if it feels like it's just there to be, like, shocking or lazy, it just begins to feel, like, really wrong. I think the best episode of SpongeBob, one of the best ones, I think, is the Krusty Krab Pizza one

It's a great one Fantastic That's a great one Or the Magic Con show That's a good one too But like I think I think the pizza one is like one of the better ones Because it

Squidward suffers Throughout that entire thing But at the end he still like He still goes up to bat for SpongeBob And he like defends him from that fucking asshole Who won't accept the pizza Yeah So you could tell that there's like

Oh yeah you know This guy's a person pain in the ass, but he's a friend of mine. Like, he's my friend. And nobody treats my friends like that. But, like, in the later seasons, it's just like, you know, Squidward has his son raped and killed in front of him, and SpongeBob's

laughing. And then Squidward just goes home and sults, and that his house is stolen. It's just, that's it. It's just always this bad shit for Squidward. It's too mean-spirited now. It's too, like, avertingly mean-spirited. And there's no moment where, there's no moment where the mean-spiritedness is like subverted at all.

Like it's always, it just ends. I remember Squidward had wins, man. Like, remember Sweet Victory? Like, that was a fucking massive win for him. Like, yeah, and that was another episode where like he was suffering the whole fucking time. Exactly. Nobody was doing anything. Like, it's not that you can't have Squidward like,

like in a state of distress or that he can't be like, for lack of a better word, like a punching bag kind of, but he still needs to be treated like a person. Well, it's just kind of like the idea. I was, I was, I, you've heard of the stream. It's called EFAP. It's like Mahler and all these YouTubers that they pretty much review movies and stuff. They critique movies and stuff. And then they all just made the stream together.

And I caught one of them where they were talking about The Last of Us part two. And one thing that I wish I kind of was on the stream because they were talking about, I was kind of agreeing what they were saying, you know, about like say despair and things being really bad. Like, it, the issue with, like, telling a tale isn't that. Because, like, say with Squidward, you can have suffering the entire time, but there has to be just, there's a sense of resolution, a sense of, okay, even if it was suffering the entire time, it was necessary or something, something to wrap it all up.

And one of the examples I think about, one of my favorite movies is Departed, where it's very depressing and everyone fucking dies. Like, everyone dies. That's why it's called The Departed. But there's no part of me that, that I'm like, well, that's fucked up. Like, I can't, like, what? What happened, huh? And when I'm watching SpongeBob, or at least when I watched the newer ones, I just didn't, I was like, they're just fucking with him.

They're just fucking like, and for no reason. It's not like, it's not like, say when, you know, there's a reason why Squidber was being fucked with. He's kind of an asshole and there's, there's karma, or it's just, you know, whatever the reason is, there's usually something going on. And I just kind of see that where you're writing a script and we're just going to do this and we're just doing it for the sake of doing it. and then it leads nowhere, essentially. And that's really upsetting. And a lot of people don't understand that. I think people that suck dick that can't be storytellers,

that their stories, like, you know, the Iliad or anything, like Homer, if they would have tried to be Homer back in the day, they would have just been, like, hung or something. They would just kill them. Like, dude, you're the worst storyteller ever. I don't want to hear anything coming out of your mouth. Shut the fuck up. You've left me angry and confused,

and we're just going to string you up. Like, that's all we got to string you up. This is a nice thing we can do to you I just feel like Because you know how angry we get at television I feel like I mean I don't get the entertainment

Well I'm just saying people in general Like people like get so angry So like since they were the entertainment The storytellers They probably just killed them They told a bad story Yeah Yeah

Yeah They just drag them outside their fucking houses With no fucking clothes On everybody Everybody beat them to death They'd hang their dead bodies Like a fucking chicken It really is just

It really is just flanderization I think It's just you know You have like characters who like oh yeah he's he's uh a well-meaning dad who's kind of stupid but like the show's been going off on so long that like he's just stupid he's just an idiot yeah or like uh or like squidward and meg you know they're just they're the punching bags and that's it that's that's their sole existence now and it's like all right dude there's no reason for their suffering anymore

it doesn't have to be deep but even chow i remember a long time ago when i talked to my my brother and we would say chowtsu Wait, no, no, no. Whatever I said, I just probably just had a fucking stroke. What I was my, I was talking to my brother years ago and I was young, and we were talking about plots and resolution. And he was like, he's like, even the dumbest fucking shit that you'd ever watch, like, Barney the Dinosaur. It makes more sense than a lot of shit that's made today. Like, as far as, like, it has, there's a reason why it exists. There's always a plot.

There's always a conflict. You know, there's a climax. There's a resolution. even in the dumbest shit ever. Like just that's for three-year-olds. And he's like, you're having people that are writing really sophisticated stories and they can't even get that shit right. And it's weird.

It's weird seeing that, that basic learning, like basic things that you learn when it comes to writing, they're just not being respected. And not for the sake of turning things on top of their heads, like say a George R. Martin, which I think, like, that's pretty genius of what he's doing. But still, there is a reason. for everything happening.

And that's so fucking important than just being like, all right, we need some, we need a glass cannon, we need somebody to be shed on, we need someone to die, we need sex, and all right,

let's just go home. Yeah. Do you think, I feel like, for the most part, if you're just writing a story just for the sake of subverting expectations, and you just kind of want to, like,

surprise people. I feel like it's inherent. I feel like it's, to be just a bad story. It's, that's a bad, that is such a bad thought. It's such a hipster mentality to have where it's like, I want to do this to people. Instead of it kind of being a eureka moment while you're writing, where it's like, holy shit, what if this happened? And then people, it's like, oh, remember that, remember that weirdly depressing, surprising episode of Barney, where Barney, where the girl's like, oh, Barney, my dog died.

and Barney's like Will Migg That dog's as good as dead That dog is dead is dead Dead is doorknails dead Fucking gone son And he slaps her on the ass She's that's really fucking hard

A dinosaur strength She goes fucking flying She's dead she's dead She's dead And it ends with her and the dog Meeting each other in heaven I don't know Like there's something about like

Here seeing that on like Eric Andre would be funny But like seeing it in context It's just like what Yeah it's There's one thing One thing I think I've discovered lately Is that producers aren't paying attention

To the product at all anymore I think they're just like All right Here's the money Here's your budget Bring me back something that's gonna make money And they're not like overseeing what's happening Usually as a producer supposed to do

And be like All right let me let me check this let me check out this product and then they're being like, I don't fucking like this at all. What are you doing? Like we can't know. Give me my money back. It just seems like,

all right, go do it. Like Ryan Johnson, for example, we talk about some brandy expectations. It says, all right, here's your budget,

go do it. And when I think there was probably a consensus of people that are like, I'm very nervous about this. It's like, ah, whatever. It's fine. Just make sure we just make some toys and whatever. Everybody is a dumb piece of shit in the Star Wars universe,

people that watch Star Wars. So fuck them. fuck everybody and I don't get it. I just trying to rationalize it in my own head. Yeah, yeah. I don't get it. He can't really do it. The Last Jedi for me wasn't even like I just didn't.

It's like, all right. I said that was horrible. It's just weird. It's a weird, when there's this much money at stake, when there's this much at stake, it's a weird thing to just have kind of almost no checks and balances where it's like, all, all. Yeah. Yeah, it is weird that they just sort of didn't oversee it at all.

And if they did oversee it, they were just like, oh, fine. Because it really does feel like a movie that could be fixed with like really just really minor tweaks. No, there's very too many major problems with that. As a Star Wars, as a movie, it could have probably been better, but as a Star Wars movie, that movie was fucked from the beginning. I mean, Star Wars movies aren't very good anyway. How'd I explain it? How'd I explain it? There's a somewhat of an establishment, like not a super well-defined one, but there's establishment in a Star Wars universe, right?

and everything that Ray was was just kind of a fuck you at all everything else she was just like she was just like what the what was the point of everything like I like think of it like this the moment where her and Ben

are pulling the um the thing right that Chubaca was in and then she just used lightning it's like what oh yeah and the last that's in the no that's in the la what was it that's like the Skywalker sorry skywalker yeah yeah no I'm not

talking about that one. That one's a mess. Last, and last Jedi, that was the one second to last one, right? Yeah, it was the middle one. Yeah, it was the middle one. That was supposed to be the return of the That was the middle one. That was supposed to be Empire and that's why I think it was much more hated to. Empire is like usually the best one, right? Everyone is my best one. And then Rise of Skywalker was like just Ru, like that's not even really a movie really. That's like a, that's like a fucking cringe compilation basically. It's sequences. It's just sequences. Yeah. You know what it is? It's the

Amazing Spider-Man 2 again. Like, did you ever see The Amazing Spider-Man 2? Yeah, of course. I saw once. I don't really remember. I just remember. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is a bunch of Spider-Man sequences stapled together with like basically no story keeping it together. It's just, oh, hey, here's Spider-Man doing a cool thing that looks very Spider-Man, and here's Spider-Man fighting a person, and he looks like Spider-Man, and then it just ends. And it's like, I guess that was a Spider-Man movie, because it had Spider-Man in it. I just, I don't remember, I just remember, like, a homeless Dr. Manhattan. I think I remember that.

Yeah, that's Jamie Fox. Yeah, I remember that. And then I remember Gwen Stacy breaking her neck. And then that dude from the Cody Banks or whatever. What's his name? What? What's his name? Giuliani or whatever?

Giuliani. No, not Giuliani. What the fuck, Giuliani? The fucking guy, he's in the rhino suit at the very end. And then it just ends. Paul Giamatti. Giam... Giam...

But yeah, I just... I don't remember anything for that movie except for that. I was like, what the fuck is... What, I... That's bad when I...

I don't remember shit. I don't remember... Yeah, it's not... There's nothing... There's nothing to remember because it really does feel like a bunch of out-of-context Spider-Man sequences like stapled together into a movie.

But that was basically what Rise of Skywalker was. It was just like, hey, here's it. They fly now. They fly now. They fly now. it's like okay yeah cool it was hilarious

so bad like the last Jedi was just divisive I feel like I feel like a lot it was a pretty bad movie had a lot of bad moments I mean yeah

but like none of those but none of those moments it was just more coherent than the rise Skywalker yeah that's it was infinitely more coherent I knew it was happening

like like there was the moment the moment of the Skywalker that made me fucking laugh my ass I was so stupid it was like the last Skywalker

I'm sorry sorry are you having a stroke the last Jedi what was it was Last Jedi was the one before Ride the Skywalker. Holy shit. Dude, it's the middle one.

I keep forgetting it because I keep forgetting the names. I don't even like Star Wars. I think he hates him so much. That's why, yeah. I'm so passionately disliked to stand foot towards him and I can't even think when I talk about him. But like the moment where all of the fucking walkers were shooting at fucking Luke, right? They were fucking like, more? More?

More? I started to a pretty good meme, though. And then this dude, this fucking. dude, this dude was like, oh, Luke still fine. He was like, I'm gonna go down there in five. And I was like, Ben, are you fucking stupid? Yes. Are you stupid, Ben?

Yeah, that's his, yeah. Every decision. Yeah, that's so, that's so outrageously dumb. Like, that's just like, that was this like something that I was like, what? Wasn't this guy a trained warrior? Wouldn't you understand that like, that's just clearly not a good idea? I'd be like shoot him some more And he like

He went down to fight him And I was like You're so dumb You're just gonna get killed Why would you fight this man Like you're not proving anything to anybody You're just gonna go get your ass beat That's not even like a badass moment

That's just like running to an asbian And I was like I guess Not even I guess That's just obvious Chris I understand what Chris

If you if you got a gun And I was like, you had all your homies. Like, all right, gun him down. I'm not talking, no, but this isn't like real war. This is Star Wars bullshit. There's magic and fucking nonsense. There's Star Wars bullshit. If this was the real world, ideally I would kill somebody without even looking at them.

I would have somebody like behind them at an airport or something. I understand that. But the thing about the world they've established that they're not, they're supposed to be smart. They're intelligent tactical people. And then this stupid bitch is going to go try to one v. This man that was this impervious. The lasers. I mean...

I understand what he's saying. I feel like... I'm not even putting, like, real logic. I'm putting, like, the logic from the Jedi order that they've had for a while. I feel like if the prequels didn't exist, I feel like it'd be a stronger case. But the prequels do exist, and every decision made in them is pretty terrible. I disagree. They fight in a fucking volcano?

Well, that's not... Well, that's not a decision. That was just where they were. name the fight started there. That's not like they chose to fight there. You can't survive that. You can't do that. I mean, who does that? They're people. There's still people, aren't they? Chris, I understand. Are they aliens? What's

happening? Are they people? Look, look, if they were on the volcano first, that means they're able to at least be there. They never fought in lava, and then when lava was intact with the body, it burned off pieces of their body. So at every moment, lava behaved like lava would. There was no moment where they got lava on, they made it.

I'm fine. I'll use the force with the lava off me. And they fucking moved the lava on. Weren't they standing at top metal platforms that were like floating in the lava? Watch the movie, you can see that there's literally force fields on the things that are preventing them from getting burned. That was like a whole, you could see it. There's like little energy fields on the robot that are preventing them from getting burned

when they were standing on top of them fighting on the lava. And then whenever the lava like splash, they got behind things and they hid so they weren't get burned by all the fucking like magma bombs and shit. I don't know. I remember seeing it a long time ago and thinking like, what the fuck is any of this. Well, no matter what, it's a dumb scene. Like, no matter what. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I liked it because I thought that was a cool moment. I just like Mustafa also. It looked very cool because it was very red and hot, yeah. So, yeah, when I was a little kid, so I was like, this is awesome. This means passion. It's awesome. This means passion. There's also the part where they, like, in the first movie where, like, they sneak on to, like, a ship to warn.

They sneak on to an invading ship to warn the place that's being invading. invaded about the invasion. And it's like... Wait, which one is this? What? This is the first one. I don't remember that moment at all. They were like, we have to get down to the surface and warn them about the invasion, but they stole away on one of the invading ships.

So it's like, you're late, you're too late already, dude. Like, they're invading. But Phantom Man is phenomenal. Like, by definition when you get there. It's famously bad. That one is famously silly. Like, one of the silliest movies ever. I think they're all, I really think they're all kind of bad.

Like, I think Empire Strikes Back is, is good, but I don't know, the one after and the one before, like, they're charming. Well, I think I... They're charming. Look, I've always said that if you grew up, like, say, if you're a Gen Xer, I understand how you think those things are fucking mind-blowing. But I grew up with, like, the reboot of Bostar Galactica, and that shit, the storytelling and the acting is phenomenal.

It's fucking... Yeah. It's phenomenal. And so I... It's like, when... When I base my thing, sorry, I just want to say, like, when I base my, I'm comparing it to shit like that. I'm comparing it to sci-fi like that.

And I'm like, I understand why this shit's so iconic, but it's not my favorite. And because it doesn't, it's just, it's a product of its time. Phantom, menace and all that shit, that's just a fucking disaster. To me, what's happened now, the new trilogy, to me, there's no excuse. It's way worse. Yeah, yeah. That's where I'm just like, I, you guys have. every element you've seen every good

sci-fi out there and every single example of how good writing and what people actually care about and the producers and the executives all they want you to do is make fucking money what do you do oh yeah no it is it is terrible but I just don't think it was uniquely terrible I feel like I watched it and I was like yeah that's about

what I was expecting from a Star Wars movie currently well also I also absorbed like what you call it it was it uh it wasn't Fallin Order what's the name of it a night little republic which is a good story and the Clone Wars which was a fantastic

like literally Floor Wars was like famously good like it's one of the one of the most famed like cartoons period that's that's why though that's exactly why I just can't get into like the movies is because it's like a lot of the best shit that I've

experienced of this universe is just in video games it's not the main or even just like and by the time I had even seen by the time I had even seen like the first Star Wars movie that I had seen I had played the entire Halo trilogy I'd played through all of Mass Effect, you know.

So by the time I had seen Star Wars, I was like, oh, this is like, oh, you were totally ruined. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you went, you went into the situation way, way to one, you, like, well, you went into it, like, with an origin perspective. Like, that's like me with Lord of the Rings. Like, I thought, I thought, um, what you call it was a cool story? I thought, like, what was a really cool story?

I was like, oh, this is, um, this is a fan. I thought God of War was cool. and I thought like so many other fans were like really, really awesome and then I read Tolkien's Lord of Rings and I was like I have never seen a better story

involving a party ever these are the best group of characters ever seen in my life except this is the opposite where I found it later and thought it was just worse than everything I had seen but like I got I found

I read the books later on I didn't like the movies I was like they're kind of slow that I read the books and I was like oh the Lord of the Rings movies are very slow It took me a really long time to watch Lord of the Rings.

But I went into them. I went into it and I was just like, I appreciate the movie way more now. I love the movies now because I read the books. The books are like insane. Like, how would you write this? This is like the 30s, bro. People were too busy like being afraid of fucking Germany starting shit up again. How do you have time to fucking sit down and write this?

I mean, some people just knock it out of the park, dude. I was just talking about I Love Lucy the other day. It's a good show. I feel like they're time travelers because the type of humor that was around in the 50s was the most boring bullshit ever. And the fact that you can watch Al Lucie now and still laugh at some of the shit that they're writing and some of the jokes that they were making is to me as almost alien. I was like, dude, people were probably dying in the audience. Like they were laughing too hard that they probably fucking died. Because if I find, because look at any movie.

dude people freaked out when they saw the original king Kong like in the 30s like they freaked out like fucking literally were terrified and then so just what's what's what's what's special about i love lucy though the comedy i the comedy is still relevant it's masterful it's fucking i'll be real like when i was when i was a kid i would watch i love lucy

but i really i really just sort of looked at it you know i wasn't like maybe you're too young i just because like yeah it was definitely too young like uh nick it'll come on at nick at night and stuff like that and it was some of the, it was just, like, I was laughing my ass off type of, like, type of jokes. I'm like, this is clean, but it's also almost kind of pushing boundaries. It's weird that there's this Cuban dude in the lead in a time or extreme racism. It was really just insane. And I'm like, dude, how did they, nothing else like that.

There was nothing else even remotely like that as far as, as far as comedy was going. And I actually, I used to, I used to be in drama class. and we had to take a script We're like, all right, somebody, grab a script And then we need to act it out And I said, I'm gonna pull up a script from I Love Lucy And they were all behind paywalls And I was like, fuck that, so I wrote my own

And I know, like, I watched enough of I Love Lucy To the point where I just wrote it about like, Oh, I know what's happening And people probably think they remember this And that's exactly what happened. People are like, oh, I remember that episode I'm like, oh, I'm sure you fucking do. Yeah, because I don't.

Yeah, but people were laughing their asses off that we're fucking that we're performing to. And I'm just like, dude, this shit's fucking crazy that it still resonates like infinity billion years later. That makes a ton of sense, yeah. That's why that show is still in syndication and people still watch it.

I feel like every decade has at least one of those. Right, you know? Right. Like, I don't know what it was in the 70s really or like 80s necessarily. What would you say is like, when was I Love Lucy?

That was the 50s? I think that was 50s. I'm pretty sure it started the 50s. What would you say the 60s was? Let me look up the... I'm trying to look. I know in the 70s there was one, but it was only four seasons.

It was called soap. It was a parody of soap operas, but it was a comedy. And it still holds up. The only bad thing about it is that it ends... The show, it got canceled on a cliffhanger. The worst cliffhanger in fucking probably TV history. Oh, fucking...

I'm so stupid. The Brady Bunch, obviously. Oh. From the 60s. Yeah. I don't know. I fucking hated that show. I couldn't get into it.

I couldn't get into the Brady Bunch. just a bunch of white kids dude white kids are so uninteresting I couldn't even I couldn't even I couldn't even I couldn't even get into it

just from the basis of like these people have friends in their house like what does that mean like I don't even understand that is that what I don't even I thought it was just the family what do you mean no but like what I'm like

just the premise of a sibling oh oh I was like what I don't understand dude that would be a fucking nightmare man because I've lived with a lot of people. I live with me and my bro, four step sisters, and it's a fucking nightmare. It's not fun at all.

It's not. Maybe I'm wrong, actually, because, like, the 70s doesn't seem to have a lot. I'm telling you, oh, I mean, it wasn't soap. Soap was probably, I guess, probably maybe it wasn't as big, but it was one of those. I would highly recommend anybody watching soap

because it's fucking, Billy Crystal's in it. It's really good, but it's just four seasons, and you'll probably want to murder somebody after it ends, but it was a fantastic show that was introduced to me. I love Lucy's pretty timeless. Yeah, that shit's timeless, and so was the honeymooners, dude.

So was the honeymooners, that show was timeless, too. Was it, wasn't that just, like, fucking spousal abuse? Wasn't that, like, all that show was? It was the supposed to, he would constantly threaten to hit her, but he never did it. Oh, just, I want to camera. Shut off. Isn't my wife such a fucking bitch?

Yeah, yeah, man, she's Ralphie. She's a fucking hole. I'll tell you that. pretty much shit like that. When did all in the family come on? Because that was like some, the Archie Bunker was like notoriously racist. But like he wouldn't like, he wouldn't like outright show it.

But I remember he got really, he was really uncomfortable when Sammy Davis, I think. Who was it? Sammy Davis Jr. Was, I think he was a guest on the show. And like I think he kissed him at one point. And it's supposed to be like a, it was basically playing off like,

oh, he doesn't like. strange things or the colors. He was like the American man and it was really, I was like, that's weird that how this shit was still syndicated for a while too. I'm like, is this? Can you, can you do this?

Can you still do anything? You can do anything back then, man. You could do fucking whatever the hell you wanted. I actually used to watch Happy Days. I did too. Hey. I didn't watch Happy Days at all. Hey, fuck you.

Hey. I watched so many weird shows. He would just like, he would sexually assault all these girls at the, the burger joint that they would always go to. He'd fucking take him in the bathroom stall and slip him a quailo and he'd be like, hey, and he put his hands on his pants. It was pretty good.

It's game time, baby. Hey, yo, Chachi, you want to help me do this girl? Hey, it was really good. I really liked it. It sounds so irritating. I couldn't get used to like a catch phrase like that. Hey, you're trying to get seconds, Chachi? It's like, this is not funny.

I just, I remember laughing at just one. and I love Lucy thing in particular, which was like this fucking, she was like, it was something about like she was working at like a factory assembling, like making cookies or something and if we were on like an assembly line. Oh, it was, it was chocolates. Chocolates, yeah.

There's chocolates. Dude, Jake and Josh didn't homage to that. It was pretty cool. They did, yeah. Yeah, I heard that's like, that's how you know. That's just like, yeah. I guess you're right. Yeah, that is a really timeless show. Even though I didn't watch it.

I know enough about it. Yeah, to where you at least even know that. Yeah. It still holds up, man. If it comes on, I can still fucking watch it. I'm home and all that shit. Yeah. What is he? Wally.

Princess, I'm home. You are in danger. Yeah, I don't know. Fuck. But, all right, we've been talking for a while. We have. Let's get into these questions while we have time. Yeah, let's do it.

I got news for you. Jump into these. Well, I got news. news. I got questions for you. I got questions, but yeah. Let's see. Let me look through these. Okay, Huggard Derek wrote in. He says,

Since the Popeye's chicken sandwich craze has simmered down. I feel like that's a pun, almost. I'd like to know what fast food places you guys like to get fried chicken from, and who has the best chicken sandwich. I think it's a tie between Popeye's and Chick-fil-A personally. Love you beautiful boys.

Is Huggard Derek white? I don't think he's white. I I speak to him all the time I like what you call it on Twitch But I've never found out what like Ethnicity is I'm gonna ask him next time

Yeah we need to figure that out Because that's a very white answer I'm just gonna say that I bet he's a Mongolian throat singer I'm pretty good at that It's the odd world It's the odd world chanting sound

I don't know I feel like the best chicken sandwiches This is weird I guess, but like the most satisfying chicken sandwich that I had was from Umami burger actually, like genuinely. They have like a really good fried chicken sandwiches because it's like they actually, it's not Popeyes. It's not Chick-fil-A. It's not really fast food. It's like a proper, like, I think that kind of might. But it's still kind of fast food. You know what I mean? Yeah. Is it, I mean, can you, can you get it through a drive-thru? Is that what, is that what

that means? Fast food? To me, fast food is more of, because there's, like, everything's a restaurant, but then there's fast food restaurants. I feel like, I feel like fast food is more of like, I can get it and then go. We can expand the definition, though, for the sake of argument, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I guess, I don't know, what do you think fast food-wise?

Like, what do you think? I will say, okay, the original chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A is fucking whatever, but I will give them props for their spicy chicken sandwich. Actually, it's probably one of the better ones as far as, because a lot of people go a little bit overkill with the paprika. But it's really good. It's actually really good. I'll say that that's good. The Popeye's one is fucking bullshit because it's just, it's just Popeye's chicken.

But in a sandwich form, it's stupid. It's completely useless. It doesn't, just buy the chicken. Go buy a two piece and then go put some bread on it. So, they got good sauce, though. They put good sauce on that, fuck. Pop-I's one. Well, the sauce that, the best

sauce that they have at Popeyes is for like the tenders or whatever, it's called Blackened Ranch. Yeah, yeah. Put that shit on there. Because that, I'll just go to Popeyes to get Black and Ranch and use it for other things. I don't know. But the thing is, the

chickens, the whole, the whole idea of fast-free chicken sandwiches, they all kind of, really, if you're really into fried chicken, they all kind of suck dick. Because all the best places are, that you can find those foodie you follow those Instagram pages like those foodie places and they always go to those

LA hipsters and they're always traveling to these different areas and trying the shit they have the best sandwiches bar none they're infinitely better than any of the shit there's a place in Brea called Bruxie I don't know if it has a bunch of different chains but Bruxie has

I think there's drugs in it because it's so good because there's certain flavors that are like that excites your brain I'm like what is this I just I kind of want to like have sex with a sandwich It's so fucking tasty. I've been there before. Yeah.

And I feel like, say, for example, let's say, what if Gus has made a chicken sandwich? Wouldn't that be one of the top competitors, do you think? Absolutely. Absolutely. Right. So it's like, yeah, there's all these better flavors out there that people don't know. I would take Gus's chicken with the bone in it and put it in between bread and just eat it fucking whole.

It's so stupid delicious. It's very good. It's very good. It's very good. It's insane. I love Gus's so much. It's hilarious. I haven't had it in a while.

I had it really. I was thinking that might be a much. move today. I was like, I got to stop. I bought so many groceries for me to, like, endorse eating outside right now, so I just got to, like... You just, yeah, I'm trying to... Just munch through those.

I'm trying to eat more salads in general. I am pledging that today is my last day of eating, like, anything outside because I've been kind of just fucking around for... I don't... God knows how long. Months. Munch. Same.

Dude, I was supposed to be in shape by now. It's... Fuck it. I... Like, I know, I know what it takes, because I've been in shape. I've worked out for years on end. I played football back in high school. Huh?

Same, honestly. What shape? I said, what shape? Round. Round. The circle's shape. No, now I'm fucking round. And it's like, I'm starting to get that gut going on, man.

I need a fucking... I have a gut right now, too. It's really gross. It's fucking gross. I have a fucking belly. Dude, my... It's to the point where you can't really see the definition of my arms anymore. It's just coated in fat.

It's just like Dude, same My arms should be fucking deased up And now they're fucking just If I flex really really Really really hard You can see my muscles Really hard

Like I'd have to be hurting myself It's really fucking bad I was gonna get on a cardio regimen dude That's all I gotta do I know what and I know what this must be done But I'm so fat I don't want to feel I don't want to run around

Because I'm too heavy So I'm just in a really bad spot Where I'm just like I have to just start doing cardio I have to just go to the church track and then run around the track until it feels okay to run and then just start running from that moment on but it's like oh that's work i could be sitting at home fucking playing video games dude i i totally feel you i just got i just got to do it one day one day i just have to go out there

i just have to walk to the track and like i already got here and then just fucking start doing some laps do like four laps until i throw up once i get that fucking bad puke on my stomach then i'll keep doing some more cardio and there you go that'll get to start i don't know man i don't see what the problem is being skinny is pretty easy. I mean, yeah. You're, man, I hate people like you,

honestly. What's going to happen is you're going to, either you're going to be really skinny your whole life, or you're going to just, when you get older, it's going to blow the fuck up. You're going to get a comedic amount of weight so fast. You're going to be like,

I don't know what happened. I'm definitely not going to blow the fuck. There's pretty much no fat people in my family. Fuck, man. I mean, like, people don't realize how, like,

how much genetics play a part. There's some people that are really, It's a huge part. Yeah, there's a lot of people that they're upset with themselves. Yeah. There's a lot of people that are upset with themselves. What? I'm saying it plays the most basic part.

Like fundamentally, that's what starts it. Yes. It is the absolute foundation. And I can even look at, like you said, how you said, how Chris said most of, like his family, just skinny. A lot of my family, a lot of my family, because I have naturally just tree trunk thighs. Like, even when I was 160 pounds in high school when I was playing football, I was like, really skinny, but my thighs were still just, they didn't match my body. And there's people in my family on my dad's side that are like that. And I was like, God damn, I got it from you

fucking people where I got this fat ass from. Yeah, it's that's like they're, they're built fucking, like, you know, women that would be in hip hop music videos. Like, they're just fucking, they're just fucking fat ass motherfuckers. And like, I inherited that. And dude, I can't, I can't eat pizza anymore, bro. If I eat pizza, two days later, there's like an extra layer of fat on me. It's just so, like, my body just absorbs everything. And so I just got to start eating better, but the biggest thing is the cardio. And I'm going to be honest, I don't, I feel safe in my home and my neighborhood, but outside of it on the main streets.

I like, because I want to ride my bike to the beach. I want to start doing that. And where I used to live, it was no problem riding to Huntington Beach. It's like 14 miles away, and the streets were relatively nice, just a few meth heads every once in a while. These places, it's very common to get assaulted by insane people. They're just, so they're just, people just get beat up, and they're, because people are out of their mind. And somebody, I went to the 7-Eleven the other day, and some guy started fighting, this, it was, it was this white dude. Whenever you see a shirtless white dude in South Central, yeah, yeah.

I'm always immediately afraid And he went inside And he assaulted somebody in 7-11 And I just missed it Because I pulled up And then it was fucking just the end of it And I'm like dude, this is I'm like damn

I don't feel Right riding around it Because eventually I'm gonna get caught I'm gonna get caught up With these fucking psychopaths So it kind of like Henders me from wanting to

The gyms are closed You know what I mean? Yeah So I'll go to a gym And get my lip to go on until I fucking don't feel like my weight's going to snap my knees. But now I just have to do it the good old-fashioned way. And I know how to, like, I know how to do it.

And I'm sure that my body is probably stronger than it was when I was a teenager. I just have more fat on me now. So I'm just like, ugh. I got to work through this whole point where I just feel really, really gross and tired of the time. Then eventually I'll feel good about working out. But yeah, I just got to grab the bull by the horns. I'm just being lazy. You just got to eat better.

And then you'll feel good enough. You'll feel good enough to go out and, like, actually do the... 100%. You guys take any vitamins or anything like that? Now I take vitamins. That's good. Because fuck, man. When I realized, you know what?

You know what fucking Etyka taught me something, which was hilarious. Oh, Etyka's a fucking, he's a goat. Yeah. And he, he... Because I know I was lacking in stuff, just like most people don't intake enough vitamins. But he was talking about, he was like, do you know how much... He was like, do you know how much potassium we're supposed to be taking? And when he said it, I looked it up and I was like, what the fuck he's right?

And I was like, I'm not even getting a fraction of that. It was like something ridiculous, too. And I started looking up like, what's the daily intake for certain things? And one of the things that was the craziest was 25 grams of sugar on average. And then when you just look at how much sugars and everything, you're like, dude, I have 25 grams in like a fucking like two pieces of bread or something. Something ridiculous. Something that's just stupid as fuck. No, sugar's everywhere.

It's insane. It's insane. It's like the thing that we've like all unanimously agreed is like really bad for us. But it's like it's so addictive that like we all just were fine with it. Dude, I started taking calcium pill. Like my knees started hurting a little bit. I started taking calcium pills. And it went away instantly.

My knees were just fine now. They just don't hurt at all anymore. I'm like, what the fuck? You got to watch with that though because you can get kidney stones. Well, yeah, don't over. I don't overdo it. Yeah, just don't overdo it. There's, you can always find.

the recommended dosions for adult males and females for which you should be taking and then it is you know you can always ask your doctor of if going up a certain amount of dosage if you're depleted but I would just recommend everybody getting blood test and then finding out

where your levels are and stuff and then you might figure out that you're lacking in certain areas or if your blood sugar is too high or whatever the fuck yeah yeah it really just depend on like you personally yeah just get blood work trust me it's really useful it sucks they're going to be there for a while

but like it's worth it it's really worth it's getting your blood work done so you know what you need yeah but don't let them take your blood though really yeah you gotta get your blood back because they can clone you and that shit is not yeah you gotta get your blood back ask for your blood back after they've tested

that's cool can I have my blood now it's mine and he just drink it you're borrowing you borrowed my blood right you just keep in a canister in your room what if what if you walk into your doctor's office He's walking to his office and why you're about to ask for your blood back. He's in the middle of drinking it.

He has the vial up to his lip and he's like drinking your blood. And then he looks at you at the corner of his eye. Like, oh. Roman Flores wrote in. Then he lets out like a fucking loud screech and jumps through the window, turns it until like a fucking underworld vampire. Flies the fuck away. You're like, well, shit.

God damn. Roman Flores wrote it. He says, hey, boys, you got a little question. Would you rather have the ability to be invisible, but you have to be screaming the whole time or run incredibly fast, but you have to close your eyes while you run. Invisible but screaming easily.

Really? That feels like it's completely useless. Well, you know how useful it is being blind and running? It's actually, in fact, extraordinarily dangerous. But you don't have to, but here's the thing. Like you could look, let's say you're in the middle of a desert, right? Oh, you just get dropped off. I don't care anymore.

I don't care. I stop caring. You're in the middle of a desert, you're going to run really fast. That's the only time I'm going really fast. Yeah, that's very useless, Chris. That's so fucking stupid. What the fuck are you talking about?

Chris, if you run really fat, Chris, if you run really fast and close your eyes in a city, you are dead in moments. You are dead in literally an instant. No, no, no, hold on. Listen to me. Because, like, if you're in a city like New York or a grid, a gridded city, right? And you just know the streets ahead of you, you could, like, close your eyes real quick and be down the block.

Okay. You know what I mean? Like, you could space that out pretty strategically. being invisible while you scream is pointless. Like there's no advantage to that at all. You can't even like periodically jankly skip ahead. It's frightening. Dude.

What? It's not frightening. It's intimidation. Yes, it is. If you're hearing screams, you don't know where they're coming from, I'm scared up my fucking mind. I can hunt a lot of people.

What are you talking about? Yeah. Chris, Chris, I know that would scare you. That would scare you fucking stiff if that happened to you. I would have no fucking problem. If I heard screaming next to me,

like right next to my ear and I was alone in my room, I'd be like, oh, well, this is how it is, I guess. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, sure. Because you'd be in shock. I guess you'd be in shock in your brain and be like, if I can't do anything to whatever this is. No, you know what I would do?

I would not say anything. I wouldn't tell anybody that I, that I experienced that. I'd be like, ah, that's probably like psychosis. Nobody needs to know that until this happens again. The thing is that, like, I don't want to burden anybody else with it. Because, like, if I tell someone, then it's now their problem also. So now I've infected them with problems. I don't want to do that.

I'm just going to keep it to myself. And if I get fucking ripped apart, I get ripped apart. I'm just going to fucking be quiet and sit down. I'm just going to start beating off all the time so I can fucking make everything, whatever is there uncomfortable. I would definitely. Go ahead, kill me while I'm stroking it. There you go.

I would definitely just run really fast. I don't see it negative to that. I just wouldn't sprint around like constantly. Chris, think of what? If you're moving really, really, really fast, right? Your perception of where the world is to you is only based on how fast you've ever moved. When you move really fast and you close your eyes, you are inherently severely disrupting your brain.

You have no clue how confused you're going to be. Because you've never moved, like, let's say for me, like, when I lived in New York, right? I live in the complex. You've never been invisible while screaming. No, look, look, look. But I understand I would just be the same person I am yelling as loud as I normally do, but no one to be able to see me. I understand that. But I've never been moving extraordinarily fast while my eyes are closed.

That would inherently disrupt you. You never been on a plane? But I've never had my eyes closed. And also moving in a plane is not sending his name as running. Running at that speed is means your body's propelling you that fast. Therefore, your organs are moving right inside of you. Chris, how is it useful? That's what I want to know.

You're going to die. You're just going to run into a car or something. You're going to run into a building. What are you using? Because you're saying screaming while invisible is useless. How is running why you can't see, like running insanely fast, why you can't see. How is that, how is that useful? Travel time.

How are you? You go to a track. You go to a track. You test it out. you blink real quick and you see how fast you can go in a single blink and it's like, okay,

you do the math on that and you can figure out like basically how far you could go with your eyes closed based on like how well you know the places around you

and then even just basic shit like oh you know what I just want to go to the fucking dunes or whatever and just like sprint around like a fucking superhero.

How is that useful? It's fun? Yeah, just like being invisible and screaming at people is fun. Except you'd be shot. You'd have like some

you'd do it to the wrong guy and you'd be like you'd run into somebody's house you'd scream invisible and then some guy would pull out of shotgun start shooting the air around you Why would I do it to some unknown cunt? I would do it to somebody

that I know like I would haunt my family. Chris, I could see somebody beating the shit out of you. Possibly. Chris, but you know. Chris, if you close your eyes and ran anywhere that isn't completely and I mean, because first of all

people walk, they drift to left and right. So if you're running, you also have you. And then what happens is if your eyes aren't open, you're not going to know you're doing it. I know that because I've run. ran with my eyes closed before, just to see what it was like, and I've drifted way off course. So that happens is you're going to close your eyes, you're going to be moving at a ridiculous speed, and you're going to run into a car and kill yourself. Or you're going to run into a building, and you're going to fucking blow the fuck up on contact.

Or you're going to run into a person, or you're going to trip over something, or you're going to step off a ledge and fucking fall down. You're just going to fucking die. Because you don't understand how necessary it is to see while you're moving. That's really, really important. I just think you can space it out pretty accordingly. I feel like you could strategically blink. I mean, I know that's not. No, that's not true at all.

You probably could. You probably could, but you would fuck up. Why is that not true at all? You can strategically space it out. You can estimate. You can estimate shit. You can run with your eyes. If you're running on like a track or even down the street, you can run with your eyes closed pretty confidently for at least a little bit.

Chris, you don't understand. How long is a little bit? You don't understand how much you drift when your eyes are closed. you really don't get even when your eyes are open you drift because you might paint into something else but if your eyes are closed you're probably hearing all that fucking wind and you're probably not exactly putting one foot in front of the other entirely so you might just fucking end up somewhere else I mean you're definitely right about that because I've done that several times

no I've done that several times closing my eyes and spying but I know I wouldn't have fun being invisible and screaming I would have a ton of fun dude I'd have that seems like not that doesn't seem that doesn't seem that doesn't seem fun at all to me. Because there's no, there's no use for invisibility. There's no use for invisibility? What are you talking about? You can just frame people. There's no use for invisibility that could be satisfied by you also screaming. The only purpose for invisibility is to spy on people or to get information. That's literally the only purpose of invisibility. That's why stealth exists. It's the idea of stealth. But like I said, there's the idea of haunting, which is actually kind

funny. There's a meme in there. Except you'd haunt for like what? Maybe like a minute. You have, you know how many people I could hunt? I could hunt thousands of people. I could run into somebody's house screaming and then leave and they're confused and I can go to their neighbors and do that too. And then I can

listen to them jawn on about it. It'll be hilarious. Think of it like this. Except people across the street are going to see the same person running into every house screaming and then running out. I'm still going to be screaming. Go into a parking lot. right you go into a parking lot right and you scream your scream is going to travel so they're not going to know exactly where the fucker is going to be hearing screams coming from off the fucking walls

or in like a like a locker room like a bathroom or like stuff like that you could scream off the walls and the echoes will be all over the place and you'll just be frightening people's like i hear screaming i also see nothing so that means you can use it that's a good way to use it you're not thinking outside the box, Chris. Chris just thinks like he's going to be... I'm thinking outside the box. I just think it's more fun to go real fast than it is to fucking scream.

Yeah, but you just keep saying go real fast as if you're not fucking blind. You keep forgetting to add that little thing in there. What are you talking about? Why is... What are you saying? Why is that a big deal? Your eyes being closed really affect

your motor skills, dude. You know, I don't think you're understanding. I don't think you're understanding the context at which I would use this. But Chris, even in the beginning, you're going to hurt yourself really badly because the thing is that you're basing it off of the idea of oh I'm going to run really

you're going to probably like blink your eyes that one time and you're going to probably be in a fucking wall by the time you notice whole shit I blinked. No, no, no. See, you're assuming the speed but you're assuming that the speed is like I could go around the world in like a second. No, no, not even. What is your assumption?

Even a hundred miles per hour. Even if you blinked once you be fucking fucking. fucking far, even 50 miles. Even 60 miles. You would be like, oh shit, I'm fucking hurt. I ran into a door. With no acceleration, 60 miles, zero to 60 instantaneous?

I'm assuming that. Zero to 60 down a block. And you think you can do it with your eyes closed? No, the question is, would you rather be invisible, but you have to be screaming the whole time, or run incredibly fast, but you have to have your eyes closed while you run. Incredibly fast. So basically,

where we don't have the parameters of incredibly fast. Yeah, but it's obviously beyond human speed. I'm gonna go ahead Incredibly fast right now What's the point of saying Incredibly fast? I think you would have clarified I'm saying you could

Running as the fastest human Let's say let's say But you could control your speed There doesn't say that though So can you control your octaves? So if you ran So if you were like Oh I gotta get to my postmates real quick

And you had to run a million miles an hour Well think of it like this Chris Is that what you're saying? You can't choose to run five miles an hour anymore No you can you can choose to run five miles an hour but there's going to be no blindness involved because there's no advantage. It's just like you wouldn't be partially transparent,

you know, just maybe 80% opacity, you're screaming a little bit than you. You know what I'm saying? I'm going for that. I'm going for you got to be partially transparent. So I'd be like, ah, and I start getting like blurry.

See, I'm just thinking. Oh my fucking God. See, that's the way that you're using. Like, oh, I can control. I can do anything. I can do anything. I don't see why. I don't see.

why you wouldn't be able to because it completely negates the question you understand are you not understanding what this guy's trying to do you're trying to lawyer your way out of this again Chris I'm not I'm fucking explaining what I would do with this in a fucking

real ass scenario which is the question no the idea dude no no hold on the idea of this question is to give you handicaps for this incredible ability and you're trying to lure your way out of it like this isn't a handicap that you're

completely missing the point. It is a handicap. You're a handicapped. You wouldn't be able to sprint to work. You wouldn't be able to sprint to work. You wouldn't be able to use it to get to work on time. You wouldn't be able to sprint throughout the city without fucking killing yourself. But I could still go to the fucking dunes or whatever and fucking run real fast.

And to me that's fun at all while I'm fucking blind. That sounds fun as shit to me. So it's just a fucking opinion on what's fun or not. Chris, Chris. Fuck you. Exactly, bitch. That's the entire fucking thing. You're saying this isn't fun to me. because you were just saying this isn't fun to me

and we're saying this is fun but that's an issue but then what I'm telling you that's not fun it's not a fucking issue like you're fucking you can't have it just your way man like no no no dude

I said that doesn't sound fun to me I would rather do this sure and the conversation quickly became no you're wrong no I'm just what the conversation I'm just trying to tell you that what you call it you can't you can't waver your abilities alright we have the audio

if you have this if you have this power that means that it's going to be you just You jettison. You go from being like, oh, I'm going to use my powers. Now I'm fucking cooking with gas and you're moving fucking fast. So you're moving at like 2 million miles an hour? No, see you're being

ridiculous. I would just say you're moving like comedicly fast. I don't see why that's ridiculous. That is essentially just super, that's fast enough to kill you. Two million miles and hours. You're being ridiculous now. Three miles hours is way beyond faster to kill you. I'm saying like maybe like 300 miles per hour. Like sounds I mean, functionally you

it's the same. You're still dead. You're still a dead person. Well, the thing is you can move to if you ran. yourself. Like look, look at the way, look, this is what I was saying earlier. The way that you're interpreting it Chris would be like, oh, I'm partially invisible then. And I'm partially screaming or something where it's like, what? No, no, no, no. Listen, listen, listen. What I'm saying is the way that the question is explained, it's like the way that it is explained, it's supposed to be useless. You understand? Where it's like, you're invisible, but screaming.

It almost makes invisibility useless because you're not stealthy. And now I can run super fast, but I'm blind, which makes it pretty much useless because I can't see where the fuck I'm going. There's a huge hindrance in using both the abilities. That's what it is. I understand that that's the point of the question. What is this patronizing shit? You're not

answering it in that way. I am answering in that way. I understand that I wouldn't be able to use it for any reason other than to just run real fast in a really open and non-dangerous space sometimes. Okay, that's not what you said before, though. You were talking about mapping your shit out and bleating it out. You wouldn't be able to map it out.

You would close your eyes and you'd be fucking far from where you were. Yeah, I mean, I guess if you're moving like 300 miles an hour instantaneously with no acceleration, yeah, you wouldn't be able to do it. Yes, but if that's kind of the assumption, like, incredible, impossible speeds. My assumption was that you just simply could move that fast if you chose to, if you chose. So you can only move, but you could only move that fast if your eyes were closed. So then, like, what we're saying with the invisibility, so then you can be a little bit opaque. You don't have to be completely invisible then. You can be slightly visible.

And then you can just barely yelp. And then the more visible you get... I fucking start fading out of it. I'm just like, if you can control your speeds, then you should be able to control your visibility. I mean... Yeah. Like, think of it right now, Chris.

I'm colorblind. I don't see the problem with that. I mean that'd be able to go pretty fast naturally. What do you say? My eyes are fucked up. I got fucking stigmatism and I'm colorblind. So that means that I'd innately be able to go pretty fast naturally. I have severely...

I guess in this scenario, I don't know. Well, actually, actually, I'm blind. Dude, take your glasses off and sprint. Yeah, I can just take my glasses off and be the fucking flash. You'd be a fucking mess in an hour. What if this guy's on to something? What if this guy's on to something he fucking moves? What if you closed?

What if you closed only your left eye? Would your left leg move really fast? So only your left leg would move real fast? Dude, you would trip and break your legs so quick. I'm like, dude, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to close my left eye, right? What if I hum? If I hum while I start getting like a little ethereal?

when I'm just like fucking like And I'm fucking like Fing your hum If you hum If you hum your chest goes invisible What if I sing I sing really loudly Like I start

Like I'm bouncing off some sinatra Yeah I think that would work Or I go fucking Patty LaBelle And I start like yelling when I scream And I just fucking gone I can tell it I can move in between dimensions I still think like

I don't know I still think I would rather move quickly Than fucking just be invisible While screaming It seems a lot more fun to me. I feel you. I would rather... I'd rather move quickly than to be invisible in general, but I'd rather be invisible based on how loud I'm yelling, then close my eyes and move very fast, because that's inherently

just dangerous. Yeah, I mean, it just, well, right now, it just comes down to opinion of fun, right? Like, say, it's kind of like Stevie Wonder driving in a desert. I'm sure he still has fun doing it, right? When he's just, which is something that he actually does where he'll just get a car and drive in a completely... empty, you know, place where he's not going to crash in anybody. So I'm sure he's still having fun. I would think it's less fun because I have eyesight, right? I don't want to lose that.

But, you know, it just comes down to each their own. And I would hunt a lot of women. That's all I'm saying. Oh, my God. I wouldn't do anything to them, but I wouldn't do anything to them. You just scream at women in their house. You would be a fucking peeping time that yells. Well, yeah, see, I wouldn't be very, because the peeping would at work, right?

because I'm screaming, but I would still just run into their house screaming and they're freaking out, and then everybody just thinks they're nuts. That was my thought, because if I was in, like, high school and shit, like, I would be like, I would be like, oh, I want to be invisible so I could go into, like, the fucking locker room or whatever. But it wouldn't, it wouldn't make a difference to me if I had to scream to be there. So it's just like, because there'd be like there's something screaming in the fucking locker room to go in there. funny. Just imagine you're changing and then all of a sudden

there's nothing there but there's screams at the top of their lungs. Like what are in a high scary? You're a fucking girl in a fucking locker room and you hear from the other side of the fucking echoey locker room shouting. That would tear me a sundor.

That would tear you asunder. That's powerful words man. That would fuck my mind. That's a whole different fucking yelling at me but there's something yelling at me. Yeah. Who's his question by again? I don't know. Next question, please.

Roman Flores. Nicholas Weiss wrote in, I don't know, that's not really that interesting. It's so mean. Why do say his name first and say that? Because it's kind of like it's vaguely redundant, but I'll read it anyway. But like, Nicholas Weiss says,

hey, guys, do you consider yourself competitive? If so, what are you competitive about? Could be something dumb like arguing or something sporty, whatever. Love the show. It's by far my favorite podcast. I'm competitive, period. But I'm a gracious loser, though.

I can't accept when I lose, especially when someone's just better than me. Like, I lost. This guy's outplaying me. Oh, not all the time. But if I lose because of bullshit, I get really, really mad. Like, what happens is when I,

like, when you play sports, you have to understand that either you lose because you weren't playing well or the person you were playing. against is just better than you. No, no, no, it's usually everybody else. You have to understand that. You have to understand, like, yo, this is just, you gotta, sometimes you lose.

And, you know, like, and if you either losses, you couldn't, you weren't doing what you had to do, which upsets me internally, or it's like, you, you, this guy's not, this guy's out of your league. No, I did, I disagree. I think if, if I lose, it's because everybody else was not pulling their weight, surely. You're a fucking maniac. Because why would I lose? I wouldn't do that. You're a fucking maniac.

Yeah, especially on a 1v1, right? If I won, if I won v1 and you and you beat me is because you're a bitch and a cheater and I'm going to shoot you where you stand. I'll find your house and mom. You're going to fucking die real quick standing where you are. I don't know. I feel like I'm competitive with games,

but not very much else. Because you didn't compete much in anything else, though, right? I mean, I did like baseball. But that was when you were a little, though. You weren't like a competitor when you were like in your teens and stuff, were you? I guess not I

yeah I guess not I guess I wasn't really competitive it was really just like Halo and stuff and like video games anything that I could like anything that I could win virtually was like satisfying

yeah but like I didn't give a shit about like winning like I could I would play on on like in baseball games and I'd be like I wouldn't even know I couldn't tell you how many I won and how many I lost I feel you

like because I just didn't care at all because I was like we're just at that point I just thought Like, oh, this is just exercise, right? I'm just out existing. You know, I almost didn't even register it as a game. Recently, I played Mario Kart and my girlfriend, and I was in my room. You heard it, Chris.

We were fucking yelling at each other. Yeah, because that game is fucking stupid. We would just get mad. I get so... The thing is that I hate... I hate when I lose based on not me making myself lose. That shit sucks. Like, I hate random factors.

Where I'm just like, oh, I'm going and I'm doing really good. I'm in first place, and all the blue show... I've been hit with the blue show I was in third place before. like stagnantly in third place like I with a blue shirt and I'm like what the fuck dude so why why do you choose to play a game like Mario card? Because I have fun sometimes

and I'm addicted to the fun I have sometimes it's a fun it is fun it is fun it's not always fun but most of the time it's fun I have never taken Mario Kart seriously because it's just so non-competitive to me

like I really don't see Mario Kart as like a Mario Party kind of deal where it's like, oh, fuck you. I've never yelled at somebody over Mario Kart. You also really don't play it that much either. Well, even when I played it, I was just like, this feels like baby, this feels like baby crash. Like, I can't, it'd be like, it would be like getting competitive in like a Lego game. You know what I mean?

It's not the same, inherently, because one, it's a race, so inherently it's competitive. It's, yeah, I mean, it's competitive in the sense that, like, you're literally competing, but, like, there's plenty of games where you're competing that aren't competitive. You know what I mean? competitive in video games means a different thing, I think. Because when you and I think of competitive, we think of like, oh, that's like trials. Yeah. Trials of Osiris or something in Destiny.

I think what's like... That's some serious shit. It's more of a party-esque competitive game in the sense that like it's like lessened. But so is Smash. Smash is a party-esque a game, but it's also extraordinarily competitive at the same time. Yeah, yeah. I would say... But I would say Mario Card is definitely less so than Smash Bros.

I would agree with that entirely. I don't know. Crash Team Racing really fucked my perception of car racers up because like everything feels slow and janky and boring. Yeah, I think that's the issue where I just kind of like, I can, I know what I'm playing while I'm playing it,

you know what I mean? Or I can play different things, even though I can tell when something else is vastly superior, but I still like to go back and like, say, play some old shit. Like I was just playing Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3. And, you know, it's great to play.

but, you know, there's fighting games that are a lot smoother and they're a lot more intricate and stuff like that. And like, say, Marl versus Capcom 2, like, playing that competitively, it's far superior than just playing like an old-school more combat game. But I still have fun, you know what I mean? Yeah, with what I got. Well, Mario versus Capcom 2 in particular is just a very well-done game. I think that game is so stupid good still.

It's very, it's very cool, it's very flashy and it's stylized perfectly. I would say that. Yeah. It's not a very good. I feel like it's my favorite fighting game just as far as like the way it feels to play, the aesthetics of it and just like the audio,

visual harmony of everything that happens. Like even just being on the character select screen and you just hear that fucking, I'm gonna take you for a ride. There's something, there's something like inherently nostalgic about it. That game's beautiful. The way it looks, it's 16,

but also 16 bit is inherently like one of the best things ever. A bit and a 16 bit just look good still forever and they will always look good. Marvel's Capcom isn't 16 bit Is it 32 bit? Is it 16? That can't be well No it's not 16

It's not 16 It's like it's like 32 I think It's like cartoony graphics And you can see the pixels still I actually wouldn't even I would have to look that up to know for sure I wouldn't even Yeah I wouldn't even know

I don't I think it's either 32 bit Or It's not even in bits anymore You know Let me check Yeah I wouldn't I'm not even sure on that technical, on that technicality.

Write us in, let us know if we're wrong. I've come to, man, they let us know anytime, man. Yeah, we'll have a whole episode dedicated to, we should have a whole episode dedicated to corrections.

You guys are so fucking stupid. In fact, this happened, and I'm like, okay, calm down. Thank you. Yeah.

I think I had an idea, honestly. I actually answered one of the DMs because I was so, I don't know, I was just, it actually, it was friendly,

but I was like, what the, what? It was because I mentioned something about Ted Bundy. I was wrong at a something that I said at a technicality because at the time people didn't know that Ted Bundy was killed like, you know, infinity billion women. And I was saying like the judge was like giving them props or something kind of saying,

wishing him well and shit, which was definitely true. But he was already known to be a kidnapper. He attempted to kidnap and, you know, escaping jail and all these other things that he's done. Like they've already known he's a piece of shit But this guy was telling me that Oh everybody thought he was innocent And the reason why the judge said that

He thought he was innocent too And I had to respond Because I'm like So the judge thought he was innocent But he still sentenced him to death I was just like That It just kind of like short-circuited me

Because I was like That makes no Can you imagine Imagine thinking somebody's in Because the judge carries out The sentence Right The judge

Because the jury Can recommend the sentence Yeah But like, hey, kill this niggia, but the judge will make the decision. And so he's like, oh, I think you're interested. But, hey, you're going to die. And I'll, it's short circuit. I was like, I have to reply to this.

I can't. I got to be real. I got to be real. I got to be real, Ted. You know, you're a great looking guy. You're single. I don't think you killed anybody, but, you know, I'm single too. And I would, I'd really just prefer it if you weren't out there with me.

For me. So I think you're going on the chair. The judge's like a fucking insal. Yeah, he thinks he's a Chad. I'm going to kill this Chad for my himself. I made a statement about World War II. And I was talking about how like what you call it on a Pacific theater, I said we were losing. My statement meant to be like we were at all, like we were losing more than we thought we were.

We were losing way more than we thought we were. Like we were still winning overall because we had way more soldiers than he did. But like people were like, the country was like, yeah, why are we going to? into these fucking islands and so many fucking people are dying so often. Next episode, we'll ask for corrections. Yeah. We'll see like, we'll go through, we'll go through some corrections. That sounds like it could be fun.

All right. You get a chance to yell at the, yell at our audience for a change. It'll be great. Yeah. Oh my God. I can't wait to call you fucking idiots, fucking idiots. Let's calm down. Let's all calm down.

Let's end on one relatively light one. Pokemon black and white supremacy. Oh my God, Tufor. Tufer. Rodin, greetings ethnic Oreo. Would you rather smell color or see sounds? See sounds. I feel like both of these would be really, really, really, really fucking overwhelming.

Oh, hell yeah, but see sounds. I feel like seeing sounds. Yeah. Well, if you saw sounds, it would be kind of difficult to see anything else, wouldn't it? Well, you'd see them and the sound, so it'd be a lot. But, like, for instance, people couldn't sneak up on you anymore. Because it'd be like, hmm, I see those vibrations. I know you're coming for me.

I can see your heartbeat. I guess, yeah, I guess if you trained yourself, you could get some pretty good use out of it. You'd have to be more with it. Smelling color, seems like the less useful one. Yeah. Because I don't know what it would help. Yeah, what would that even do? Yeah, also, hmm.

It actually doesn't even. make sense at all. Well, of course, this question makes no sense. The thing about seeing sound actually somewhat does, because imagine if you can see vibrations. Like, I kind of get that. I mean, you could see like a sound wave, I suppose. The thing is that, like, you'd be able to see the sounds. But if you, like, let's say like right now, if we just got it, we'd probably lose our

fucking minds. But if you're a little kid that can see sounds, you'll just grow up with the ability to see sound. So you'd be like, oh, yeah, I can see sounds. And I learned how to like funnel it out so I don't like lose my mind. But like... But you're making the assumption that it's... It could, we could be interpreting this as only sounds that we can hear and not just the sounds that, like, are actually, like, happening.

Well, that's only relative, you know, it's still only relative. So we'd only be able to see the ones we can recollate our sounds. If we didn't know they were sounds, like, if they weren't, like, how to explain it? If we didn't know this thing was a sound. You know, like, if it wouldn't register, you might not be able to see it. That's what I'm saying. Might not. I don't say we wouldn't. No, I don't think so. I think you would, as long as the vibrations were in the air that you can. see, you would be able to see them regardless of whether or not you could hear them. Yeah, so is that what we're covering that you can see regardless of the decibel level?

Like say, if it's under the level that you can actually hear, would you still be able to see it? That would make sense. I think you would, yeah, because it's just a visual representation. Yeah, but that's the thing. It's like, I feel like everything has like some kind of, even just your body. Yeah. Just like, I don't know if you've ever been in like a really, really quiet, a really fucking quiet room. But like, you can hear your body make noise sometimes.

existing. I can't have my heartbe most of the time. Dude, I remember being in, like, I can't remember where the fuck I was. I was in, like, a really padded room. I had, like, my arms, like, tied behind me. It was a whole ordeal. But I remember being, like,

I remember being able to hear, like, as I turned my head, I could hear the bones in my neck, like, turning. And I haven't heard it since I've been in that room. But, like, such a deeply, uncomfortable sound because it just reminds you

that you're just a bunch of sticks. Yeah, you're in and you're a meat sack with sticks holding you together. You're just a stick person. You're fucking disgusting. You're one of those things that artists use to get drawing reference. That's what makes it so fucking gross. You're a meat sack with a bunch of sticks holding together

but for some reason those sticks have feelings and they understand things. So it's like imagine you put a fucking bag you got a fucking condom. You put fucking bones and fucking raw fucking like ground beef and Minnesota walking around and doing shit. It's like what the fuck is this?

What's so off putting too is that like your bones are alive obviously they have marrow in them but they're they're arguably like the most dead thing in you because they're just fucking solid. It's just a fucking sheet of calcium and like fucking whatever

the fuck it is. So it's like you're just all of this sentient meat wrapped around this marionette thing that just sort of like gives you structure and I remember being like really high and like that making me cry Oh my God

I got really high once and I like started crying because I was like I don't like that I'm meat I just hate that we are We evolved to our skin being such like a P word Like it's so soft Like it's like the most pussy ass bullshit ever Well skin is Skin is fairly resilient

It's not like it's not like It's not like some of things Compared to fucking rhino skin I want rhino skin son Chris I mean that Chris Derek I get it You know I get it Our skin can absorb radiation

To a certain degree But we're pretty strong Our text touching through our skin is like Blunt Force trauma It's really hard to puncture skin With blunt force trauma We don't crack in shit But like

Look I want you to get A bit Compared to like a rhinoceros Like a rhino Their skin is literally Armourpleted Because they had to evolve Into the point

They needed armor planning That's what I want son we lived in trees and shit we don't need that nothing coming up in a tree i don't it's not about needing i want it why why do you want that i want to be able to fight people and not be because there's too many bitch niggas out there all right that are too quick to pull a gun and right and that's the thing that upsets me because i don't mind fucking fighting people but there's too many pussies that feel like like like george they feel like george zimmerman they can't just catch a beating they have to pull out of gun to shoot you so zimmerman was derrick zirmerman was

Derek, Derek, fucking followed a kid, got fucked up by a kid, it was like, I'm taking this W and shot. Derek, Derek, Derek. Derek, what if, what, I want this W?

Derek, Derek, what if, what if you took a girl home from a bar, right? Yeah. She has long sleeves. She's like wearing long pants. It's like she's in a jet. It's cold. Let's like, hypothetically, it's winter.

You bring a girl home. You start making out with her. She says, I have a confession. And she takes her shirt off and she has rhino skin. would you would you continue or would that be like would that be something that you admire because you want it so deeply for yourself

or is it something that you would find repulsive in someone else you know what I would I have a fucked up thing I would say let's see what you got to say Derek or do you want me to go first I mean honestly if I if I'm being real what I would do is I'd have her give me a hand job first right you just completely ignored

You completely ignored, Derek. You gave it. You take it too long. That's what I want to talk about it. I let it give me a hand job, right? And it'd be like really uncomfortable. And I'd be like, oh, this is fucking bad. But then when I put it in her puss, it'd be so wet.

It'd probably be insane to me. I'm like, whoa. It's like the rapids in here. I don't even know what you're saying. What were you going to say, Derek? I'm going to cut that out, genuinely. Why? That's so fucking dope.

I hate you. It's so disgusting. I'm a piece of shit. She, fucking bad person. But does she have regular nipples, though? Like, are we... Uh... No, her nipples are her skin, isn't it?

Isn't that your skin? I mean, yeah, but it's a different type of skin, you know? So... All right, she's got normal nipples, she's got normal nipples, but her breasts are, uh, armored. Oh, my God, armored fucking tities. I might, I might, I might have... I might have... I might fuck with that, actually. That actually might be, like, kind of, like, just kind of sucking on the nipples and stuff,

but they're nice and protected. They're nice and chill, I think honestly I think I would still smash her I think I couldn't do it I think like I'm trying to be honest with myself I'm like is she still like is her head hot it's almost like fucking the mermaid right no no she's hot she looks gorgeous

but her skin but her skin feels like like warm corpse skin you know actually okay I'm gonna be honest I probably wouldn't because I would be afraid that she was fucking contagious now I do want armor scoop but I don't know if that's, like, healthy. Like, is she dying? You probably...

You're fine. Because you probably wouldn't be able to sweat anymore. Like, I would... I would probably fucking try to shoot her skin and see if it would actually, like, penetrate. Oh, my God. That's so fucking stupid. I mean, just...

I don't know, man. I couldn't do it. Like, I... I turned a girl down once because their hands were weird. Is that real or you just... That is real. That is real. That's a real story. How fucking...

She had really, like... You're so... old person hands. It wasn't like, it's, it's, maybe. Maybe. Maybe. I'm not going to argue. The thing is that, like, the thing is like, I understand where it's coming from.

We talked about this actually. Like, I would turn, we actually did. I would turn a girl down if she had, like, really ugly feet. I brought that up, too. I was like, yeah, like, because the thing is that, like, my feet are gross, right? And I keep them in socks because I respect the fact that my feet are gross. If you got fucking ugly feet, hide your fucking feet. If you have socks on, I'm, I'm not.

going to pull your socks off, you know? Keep them fucking, what about their face, though? What about someone having a fucking hideous chud-like face? I'm not going to fuck someone with a hideous chud-like face. I don't find their face attractive. I'm not going to sleep with them. That's obvious. I mean, but do you think they should hide their face out of respect?

I mean, well, the thing is that in that situation, like, if we've already gone to the point where I'm about to fuck you, I clearly have to think your face looks nice, you know? No, no, no. I'm talking about simply sexually. I'm not talking about in general. You know. I was just saying that, like, but if your face is offensive-looking. I haven't really sitting in mind with an offensive looking face.

So your face is like it's actually an offense to people. Like someone sees your face in there like, yo, dude, stop it, you fucking asshole. Like, do you sound about that. You're such a shithead. I'm not a shithead. That's a simple statement. So that's going to be it. If you like what you heard today, please consider supporting us over at patreon.com

slash the snark tank. Remember, we also have merch at teespring.com slash stores slash snark dash tank. also you know if you did want to support the Patreon $1 a month gets you early access $5 a month gets you a question right on the show $10 gets you access to our Discord $15

still figuring that out honestly I really have no clue what we can do You should do a Discord game night honestly Shouldn't that be like an extra show or something You know we're talking about putting extra shows Well they would have to be like a whole new feed You know I guess we could do it What do you mean not to be a whole new feed?

Like we because everybody who puts in a dollar gets access to the to the early access feed so we'd have to make like a whole new feed well when did you just have to upload one episode but then just it would be 15 and up when you just when you just upload it that one time and then it's just like only 50 people have that maybe I don't know if that's I think if you subscribe for a dollar you just get access to that feed regardless of whether or not you're paying more that's why it's like the lowest tier is because everybody's going to get

it anyway. But we can figure that out. There's definitely like, even if not, we could definitely just put it on YouTube and unlisted and just share the link. That way. Yeah, yeah. There's plenty of ways to do it. But, yeah, we'll look into that. But also $25 a month gets you your name

dyslexically red at the end of the show, which I will now do. But before I do that, I want to note that Patreon's a little weird sometimes. And I, the last time we were reading through the list, some names were like duplicated. There were some names that just weren't filling out the entire

fucking thing. Like, you'd have to, like, click on it, and it would take, like, five minutes to load your page. So, some of them end off as, like, you know, if King of Haphaazard, the whatever, it would end as, like, King of Haphaazard ellipsis, and then the rest just wouldn't show up. So,

if your name isn't located here, uh, it is a Patreon thing. I swear to you, I'm reading all of these. Let's get on with it, huh? Three, two, won. Aunt Fondley's naked puzzle basement. Nick Baca, your mom is no thief, but you should see your snatch. I thought I was pregnant with Keith David's baby, but it was just AIDS, plutonium D,

Billy the Big Ball Brawler, Chronic the Swamp Hog, Alaska and Oilfield Trash, Arty the one-man party, Joe Biden's running mate Casey Anthony, Sweeney said something pro-Palestine and is now on a third watch list. I wish my dad kissed me like Tom Brady, the gorilla fur suit in Sweeney's closet, clever and concise Keith David, not an FBI agent, Juan Punchman, Hail Satan, Marcus Shorten, Mr. Fuck, Big, Nick, Dig, Gur. The Cleith Klavid clan. Joe Biden's campaign is elder abuse.

Dreezer. Sir Simplot. Papa Nergel. I'm the box ghost. Ruth Bader, Ginsberg's moist clam sauce. Gavin Parker. Zesty Keith David. Chris is 69 gigabytes of Coco Bandicoot Hentai. Game Controller 25. Tom, I use come as eyedrops Wilson. Danny DeVito's dank, delectable draconian Dick returns.

June's cock-gobling slut. The Blampy that dangles. Cold burb. Keith David ascended. Maxwell didn't kill herself. David Connelly, Dunderhead, Ben Douglas, Pokemon Black and White Supremacy, Sergeant Sweaty Sack, Les Bears Tale, Haiko, Chief Keith David,

Santino Lucian, who your name is a little bit bugged out on Patreon. I don't know what's going on with that one. Mike Tyson sexually devours Chris's earlobe while Evander Holyfield watches in disbelief. Sweenie the Kauaiwifu, Hiroshima, a spicy mushroom, Colonel Colin the colonel collapsing kingpin,

Aaron Alvarez, Gascan, a level one cleric, sitrip chema, Keith David, Game Like You Mean It, Dummy Thick Craig, Gucci Gang, My Gouches, Gangreness, Big Dude, 444, Heartless Wretches, Derek, Derek, Derek loves boy pussy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, come inside my tummy, Jackson, Absege's debit card canceled last week, sorry about that. Boom, Tree Hugger, I think that, this is another name that's, like, not, it's not loading correctly, so if I apologize. Jolly old dipshit, Emperor Palpatine, Huggard, Derek, Anne Franks, Easy Bake Ubin, Carson Jones, Keith Theorette, David, deflated, left-ass cheek, Monster Hunter, 11166, Toby Schutman, Sunny Chance, Sassone-flavored, dickpills, Melfis 1, L. Culebron?

Something like Culebron? No, I don't think so. Ricker 86, and King of Haphazzard. Some of your names are really long, and they break in the Patreon list, and I literally can't click on your profile to read them. So, apologies, if your name is a little bit glitched out. I literally, I don't know how to fix it,

because it takes fucking forever to figure this shit out. But we appreciate your guys' support. As always, until next time, I'll see you.