The Snark Tank - #342: Perfect Colin
Episode Date: July 21, 2025https://www.patreon.com/TheSnarkTank...
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Welcome to the Star Tank podcast, everybody.
It's another day and it's another episode.
It's me, Chris, it is him, Sweeney.
It is him.
Derek.
I don't know when we started doing that.
What, naming people?
Yeah, the, the, when people start to, it's him, it's him.
Getting names?
What happened?
Like, giving people names.
Oh, you mean like the concept of giving names?
Yeah.
That must be relatively, that must be relatively new, I feel.
No, I think it's immediate.
I don't know if it was immediate
I think names came with language
No
Yeah
No way
No way
Yeah
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How ads on Spotify work
They seem wild
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Please do it
Save yourself
It's a dollar
Which in today's economy is like
Ten cents
That's insane
That's like
That's bad for them
You're not selling it
You're not selling it
The right way
What do you mean?
Because for them it means 10 cents
That means everything that costs so much more
Listen listen
You're not doing it the right direction
No no listen listen listen listen
You're not understanding what I'm saying
And I forgive you for that
Yeah I could give you
I apologize to you
Listen
This is like old school like milk price
Old school meat prices.
Go over there, give us a dollar.
It's the equivalent of getting a steak dinner for 10 cents.
Yeah.
That's what I'm trying to say.
That's fair.
I think it's completely fair.
And I think anybody who would even remotely disagree or maybe cock their head at that, be like, what is that?
What is he talking about?
Yeah.
I think it's a bad person fundamentally.
And they're probably on the Epstein list.
They absolutely are on the Epstein list.
Absolutely.
Fundamentally.
And it's weird that they're quiet about it.
It's weird.
It's low-key weird that you're quiet about it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't forgive you, really.
Startagetown shop for merch
If you want to jump on over there
There are some
Shirts for you to buy
There is
The list gets revealed
And it has my name 1990
And I'm like I wasn't here yet
It has your name
91990 times
Well has yeah but also all before
1990 to year
Oh that's crazy
I'm like I wasn't born yet
1990 1990 1990 times
Yeah that tracks
Checks out.
Checks out.
Why do you save me my name so many times?
I really wanted to save Kingston.
Kingston, I really.
That's how they get out of it.
They doctor everybody's names who is on it.
And they just edit it to be all of them are you.
They're all you.
I'm really sorry, Kingston.
You were the only person on that plane ever, ever.
You're a great guy and I just wanted to save you the trouble.
Like, what's about to happen to me?
But the American people, they spoke.
The American people voted for me to edit everybody off the list and put you on it.
sorry he just said he
said that line and his same
fanbiz is like you see
and Bonnie like
we were so close
I could have gotten away with it
what did I say
it's real
it's a wait look it's a weird
I feel like things are constantly happening
there's a weird thing that happened in the last
like day or two
where fucking
Stephen King for some reason
did you see this?
Nah
I don't
really understand what the purpose of this is.
And I don't know if he's like
intended for this to come across
this way, but regardless, it's
so he put out of tweet
basically, it was like, yeah, the Epstein list
is real. So is the Easter
Bunny and Santa Claus.
Which like, for
a guy who wrote it
with
you know, a child gang bang in it.
That moment
Not a great thing for that
person. That moment undercuts that book so much.
It's a really good book, but that moment undercuts
So much. It's just like the child gang bang in the first Star Wars.
It's completely comes out of nowhere and there's no reason for it to be there.
Yeah, it's why.
And all of a sudden there's like a juvenile fucking Ewok gang bang.
You're like, why do they keep mention that they're juvenile?
The fact that it's...
Why do they keep mention?
Stop saying that their kid.
The fact that it's specifically a two and a half hour scene in the middle of this movie is crazy.
Children these are.
Have had them.
I was like, wow
Children these are
And I was like, wow, that's crazy
You know what's crazy
And no one else is gonna address this
As much as I love Star Wars
There had to be pedophile
Jedi's, you know
Of course
As I love Star Wars
But not like thinking about that
There had to be pedophile
You think realistically
There had to have been
Jedi pedophiles
If there's, if that world
Is at any means connected
To our universe
I think the point
There were pedophile Jedi
I think the point is that it isn't
Well it's a galaxy far far away
In any universe far far away
I guess. And it's a long time ago as well.
Yeah.
I think fundamentally a galaxy and a universe are equivalently absurd concepts to me to the point where like the distinction between them is pointless.
I mean, you're right.
I know it's, I guess, but like.
I don't you be able to a person to a person that doesn't really understand it or study it.
Like yeah.
But like to a to an and a city and a planet are like both just large things.
Right.
But that's what I mean.
Like it's irrelevant what a city and what a planet is to an ant.
So why should this be relevant?
Because the galaxy in the universe is conceptualize it.
Yeah, galaxy, like, it can be for all I say, it's a galaxy far, far away.
We don't know with the answer of far, far far away means it could be fuck.
Because far, relatively far, the indromeda galaxy or the closest galaxy to us is.
That's a capital, right?
Or no, that's...
It's insanely far.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, because, like, far, far away to me is like, and two hours is far away.
So far, far away is like four hours.
Yeah.
Like, Albany is far far away to me.
Gotcha.
So, from here.
Yeah, I get it.
I can conceptualize that, like, I understand what a city is.
We're going to pretend it like he can conceptualize.
I know what a city is.
And then I know what, like, a state is.
Congratulations.
And then I know what a country is.
And at the point when you get beyond country to me is like, oh, that's just different place big, far away.
You mean continent?
Well, country, I'm getting the continent.
I see.
And then continents are just so big.
They're just like, they're laughable to me.
It's like, whatever.
I don't even care.
And then there's a planet, right?
Yeah.
There's a planet.
There's a solar system, which is also comedically big.
No, they're not.
All right, cool.
And out of the solar system, there's galaxies.
And galaxies are like where there's a bunch of solar systems.
I can conceptualize that.
A universe, I can't conceptualize.
It's like, what's what there's after?
Because I think there's things bigger than galaxies, right?
Aren't there, are there quasars that moment, too?
Quasars?
Or those kinds of suns.
There's no quasar idea.
I mean, you can keep zooming out.
It's, it's, it's, it's, uh, it.
Or nebulous, there you go, nebulous are after galaxies.
You can keep zooming out.
That's the thing.
What do you mean?
Well, like you said, it's math, mathematically it doesn't make sense that there's only a universe.
So, like, there isn't one of anything.
So, like, as far as any of this shit goes.
So it's, at, by, beyond that point, that's when it's like, you just, your brain don't.
Yeah, I don't.
Like, there's no point of going to multiverses and starting to count all that shit.
It's like counting stars.
Like, dude.
And then the one is it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,
I lose track immediately after neighborhood.
Yeah, after neighborhood, you're like, I don't know what's happening.
I don't know.
There's more neighborhoods, I guess.
If you could prove that to me, I guess I believe it.
But, like, I've not really seen sufficient proof.
You think old people miss those days?
Like, you know, super old people right now.
They're like, man, I, I miss when I didn't know anything.
And there was just like white people and those people.
Right, right.
That's it.
I'm sure they must have nostalgia for it.
There was a nice fountain.
There was a not so nice fountain.
He just went to the nice fountain because you could.
There was shitty American football with dumb pads and everyone was dumb and retarded and they
couldn't do any finesseing.
And everybody was doing this.
Yeah.
Yeah, the whole old school dust up fistacuffs and shit.
You know what's crazy.
I think it all the time is like imagine how mad they were when they introduced like they
made like integrated sports.
Imagine how like truly upset they were.
very mad.
I mean, of course.
This shit showed up and they were like, oh my God.
It's funny you say that because I was just watching like a bunch of old school
basketball players on like who were the best and all this shit.
And then it was like pretty much every black person that was like dominant got snubbed
for some role or for some award or something because they're like, I don't like this fellow
over here.
He's a cheater.
He goes, he's black.
He's just by default.
And I was like, man, that's what I'm talking about.
those are the good old days.
Really, I would say
but television ruined everything
for all those old folks.
They're the ones that are like really upset
that they started exposing them to like,
there's diversity and there's other things in the world.
They're like, ew.
Yeah.
I went to Elpoa Loebuckin last night.
And there was this guy.
No, he didn't.
Backward.
Yeah, that's right.
Cut the buck.
There was this guy backwards hat,
sleeveless fucking shirt, you know.
I was like, a douchebag.
Yeah, yeah.
But he was like,
he was so upset.
that he had to use the kiosk
because they were like
hey we got these kiosk here
just order on here you don't have to talk to me
you know like kind of a thing
that's kind of crazy well she didn't say that
but the chick's like obviously really busy
she's fucking like putting all these orders
they got all those fucking mobile orders going on
and the guy's like at el polloo yo logo
yeah yeah molo's everywhere
el boi logo popping I went to the one by that
brink blink fitness whatever
blink if it's about fitness I know nothing
okay oh the one by I have now I have Dennings
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I went to that.
So anyway, it was just, it was fucking super busy and this guy was so angry to where she was like, all right, sir, just being completely a cunt, but I get it.
Yeah.
It's like, all right, sir, I can walk you through it.
I can walk you through how to use it.
And he was like, no, you can't just, you like, he was so married to the register for some fucking reason.
And it's like, my guy, why can't you just accept this thing that is actually much more convenient in every way?
sometimes. It's never not been
more convenient than talking to some asshole.
That gets my order wrong because they couldn't
understand me. No, I've used, I've used
kiosk where it's just like, oh, this one's broken. And then I moved
to the next one, it's like, oh, this one's not touch
sensitive. I have to push really fucking hard down.
And then, like, the thing doesn't read. And then
I have to restart the order on a different kiosk.
I've had that experience where I'm just like, bro.
This is, shake-check, I've had that happen.
That is, they have so many of them.
And shake-shack, they have like
fucking ten of those things.
Dude, I tried three in a row, and they were all broken.
And I was like, I'm not getting food here.
You, I'm not going.
You are so unlucky.
I know that.
I think, I think kiosks are.
I'm very aware of that.
That's great.
Kiosk are like genuinely like they're obviously just evolution.
They're better, you know, unfortunately.
But I think just get rid of the people, like get rid of the means to talk to people.
Yeah.
Get rid of the means to talk to people.
Swin, sweet, Tom Hitler over here.
No, like, Kingston Hitler.
Get rid of the people.
Get rid of the mean.
Like, you know how there's Sonic.
Have you ever been to Sonic before?
King Dolph.
Yeah.
Like, like, Sunnolf.
Like Sonics.
You can't even talk to niggas.
He's like, all right, they're, they'll bring you your food and that's it.
Yeah, you go up to the thing, you order.
There used to be the thing and you push the button.
Do you talk to it?
But again, the speakers are so shitty.
The mics are so shitty that they fuck up your order a lot of times.
It's like three six.
It's like original Xbox headsets.
Yeah.
I feel like it's worse.
And that's why I don't, I like, kiosk, if the order's wrong.
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I know they fucked up because I looked at my order being like, okay, this is exactly how I
wanted it.
And it wasn't me misspeaking or miscommunication.
That's the problem.
They want to attach it to somebody else.
They want someone else.
Sure, but no, I want those people to die.
You know what I mean?
It's like the people that are like self-checkouts and I'm like, yeah.
I'm faster than the person because when I was a cashier, I was the fastest because I'm not stupid.
It's very easy to do.
But for some reason, these people, you know, I get it.
They don't want to do the job.
So they're just like, and I'm like, I would just do it myself.
I'll go to cell check out.
California cashiers are crazy, bro.
California cashiers are different.
No, Californians are different.
The way people here shop makes me want to kill myself, dude.
Because I'm like, all right, we're trying to go.
Like, all right, cool.
Do you think you guys are the outlier, though?
Because you guys are the whole
New York Minute thing
Definitely
I think
No I don't think so
There's a degree
I think it's the east coast in general
I think like the further out west you go
I think because the climate changes
Or something
And it's like I think people
I think what it is genuinely
I think it's a temperature thing
I'm not even exactly
I think because it's hotter out here
Or traditionally hotter out here
People are like slower
And I feel like
I genuinely believe this
Because people
It's a culture thing
Wintertime in New York City
People are moving man
People are fucking
You probably do want to get home for you freeze.
Because it's freezing to be outside.
Whereas like in the heat, it's like you can't, it's, it's better for you to be slower.
Because like to sprint in the heat is a debt center.
I think it's a cultural thing, man.
I think there's so many people packed on top of each other.
I think culture, but I think culture evolves from location.
I think like everything plays a part in it.
But it's like, I think New York is there's the idea of self-important to New York is not as common as important this year.
I don't think that's true.
Yeah.
I think people in New York are like, hey, we're a part of a system and you're fucking up
our system.
Hurry up.
Oh, like there's a machine.
Yeah.
I would probably feel better in that environment because I do get upset by the lack of care.
The lack of care really over here as far as, hey, I just want to get out of here kind of a thing.
And it doesn't seem like, it seems like people are very content over here to just kind
of, they don't have time.
I mean, they have time, I mean.
Yeah.
And they kind of just wasting it.
It's the sheer contentedness by which other people.
people almost like revel in their lack of consideration for other people's time.
No, no, I don't think they revel.
I think, I think reveling is making it more.
I really feel like they revel, man.
I think it's just simple they do not understand.
Like, I think it's like genuinely.
I don't care though at that point.
Like, no, yeah, I get it.
But it's like it's there's a nature to it.
It's like a four year old man that doesn't understand like, so what if I kick this black person off the
fucking top of the bridge.
But that's not exactly.
Because they were less than me.
But that's not the same.
I just don't understand.
But that's so not the same thing.
I feel like it is.
That's cool.
It's like if you're, if you're, um, if you're like walking around, right?
And you're like, per se like you going down this path will inherently obstruct.
If you're going on the path, we'll inherently, like obstruct somebody, but you don't know what's just doing damage.
Like you walk, you walk through this pathway, right?
And if somebody has to come in a clean it every time you walk by it.
Yeah.
But they need to.
be like flat or like unbothered. You're not doing it insidiously. You're just not thinking like,
hmm, why is this random path? Are you like projecting? Is that way? Is that you? Well, no, I don't,
I don't do shit like that. I make a very serious effort. I know in passively like I am latent
sometimes like that and I do shit like that because I'm often, I'm just not very punctual,
but I try not to outwardly make people have a worse time. I like hold my tongue for shit like
that. I like, I'm not a mean person. And if I know I can like potentially make somebody's time
better, I don't, I don't like conflict with it. Like, if I, like, I can, like, conflict with it.
Like if there's a fiber, everybody's doing something, I'm like, I'll just do it.
Do you ever feel the energy from people when you know they're deliberately, like, you feel like they really are trying to waste your time or they're trying to.
There are time.
I swear to God, there are people like this.
I know.
Oh, no, they exist.
But I'm like, do you, sometimes I feel like in that weird, that way, like, oh, you can, you know when you sense a presence of somebody, they're not when somebody, like they're about to turn the corner.
Like, you sense it before it happened.
It's like the static on the.
the old TVs.
Yeah, yeah.
Like sometimes.
Like for me,
like people that are off,
I can tell somebody's off.
Like if somebody,
like the moment someone talks to me,
I can tell your,
your energy's not right.
Yeah.
Something's wrong here.
But I get,
can you speak?
Yeah.
There's the,
one of the biggest ones
that I notice a lot is what I'm driving
is,
uh,
sometimes you are,
you need to just keep going straight and somebody needs to make a right or
whatever.
And they purposefully slow down as much as possible to
inconvenience you,
instead of like doing the courteous thing
is let me keep the flow going
not slow, not like go fast enough
towards dangerous, slow down just enough
to where you can turn safely
and not disrupt traffic behind you,
but people like kind of feel like
yeah, I'm gonna fuck up the flow
because for no reason they'll like
come to a-
I think I'm not saying most people aren't that,
but I'm asking like do you,
sometimes you just notice that those people
would they exist like in traffic?
Yeah, in traffic.
In traffic, I'm a little bit more
more forgiving of it depending.
I'm more forgiving of it in traffic than I am in like just day to day existence because I feel like
you don't drive enough.
That's why.
No,
I, well,
I do drive.
It's just the issue is like,
if you fuck up in traffic,
you could kill people.
You know what I mean?
Yeah,
that's why you should be less.
So like,
you know what?
Like,
I can respect cautiousness to the point where like you're being annoying.
But like there's,
there is obviously like a grace period where it passes and you're just like,
come on.
Move the fuck along.
This is absurd.
But in a cashier,
I'm way less,
but in a cashier perspective
on like a line at a grocery store
where there's no danger
to just being fast,
I'm like, bro, like there's no excuse.
Granted,
granted,
we got to understand that we are not working
in a service community place anymore.
That is,
when I was at Starbucks before I left,
that was pushed way harder than ever was.
What?
The idea of like essentially
sucking the dick of the customer.
I don't know.
Customer collection is fucking pushed way too hard.
Listen, I'm not,
I,
there's,
when you're,
that stuff.
you're talking about is not it's not even it's it's there there's just there's just a happy medium right
there's the no there is there is that's that's that's that's all we're asking when i worked at star
when i worked at starbucks my focus is like hey somebody comes in hey how's it going what can i
get for you that's it and like all right cool you're told me this that's that's ever gonna say
they want me to make a conversation i think what i'm saying right then and there is already
too much if they said it's to me or it's like that's like the my pleasure shit at chick
fillet i'm like i was like don't i know you have to tell me that but you guys should really push
back. You know, they should do exercise. They can't. They need their job, man.
Y'all band together and be like, this is stupid. No customer other than a drooling retard likes that.
You know what they're going to do? They're going to fire them and hire a bunch of people that are going to get deported in seven months. Oh, it's your pleasure? It's your pleasure to make minimum wage. Really? Derek, it's your pleasure.
I'm not those people, though. I'm not saying it is. That's why I said they should band together. It doesn't matter because they go to ban together. They lose their job. Listen, they killed the CEO.
Listen, in that, in that instance, in that instance, summoned me or from Final Fantasy 7.
And kill every billion.
Yes.
You know what?
Now you're on,
you're on my...
You know what they should do?
I would go to Sonic a lot more
if they had like options
to like fuck with the people
on the roller skates.
Yeah,
sure.
That's crazy.
Like if they paid that,
if they paid their workers like a little bit more
for the added like,
oh hey,
you know,
you're gonna probably hit your head.
But,
like if you had the option
to like throw like an oil slick.
Yeah.
Like at them while they're...
Yeah,
because we're playing twisted metal.
Lightly tap them in the car.
Just a light tap.
You know, just a light tap.
You know,
just make sure like,
Or it's like a big racetrack and they're like they're they're they're they're skating around with their with your food and you have to like drive next to it and get it.
How cool would that be dude?
It'd be cool on paper.
It would be cool to watch.
Of course.
I would never do that.
You wouldn't do it?
I'm like, oh weird.
I've never eaten at Sonic.
I wonder why.
It's only $1 extra for that experience.
They're making pennies on the dollar for this.
That's not even pennies.
That's fractions of pennies.
Hey, my God.
That's insane.
Yeah, I mean, I would definitely watch it.
I would go, you ever been a sonic before?
Yeah, a long time ago.
They had one around, they had one around, like, in between somewhere around the Piccesty Gallery.
I think it's closed now, but I went there once and it was entirely bland.
It's a weird experience.
It's a weird experience because I don't understand the appeal necessarily.
Like, the variety looks cool, but everything I tried as there is something better everywhere.
It's interesting exactly.
I made lean with the what you got the icies.
It's interesting exactly the first time and that's it.
Yeah.
I mean, it's like,
oh,
somebody brought me my food on roller skates.
Weird.
And then it's not weird ever again because you've seen it.
And so like that it just becomes like,
then it just becomes a really inconvenient way to deliver one's food.
Yeah.
And then you watch people fall sometimes with everybody's food.
I've never seen one to fall.
I saw the only time I was at Sonic,
I saw somebody fall.
Wow.
I barely caught it.
Like that's what kind of bummed me out about it.
Is that like I saw him fall and I heard the commotion
But it was like around the corner and I was like
That's crazy
So close
That's such a liability. It's crazy
It really is crazy that it's even a business
That's what I'm saying
It's like if you're already in this space
Where it's just like all right we're gonna have our minimum wage employees
Fucking fly around on uneven ground on roller skates with food
Sometimes scalding
Why not just put them on a racetrack and make it twisted metal
At that point?
Like, you're already 1% there.
Just got to get the other 99, I guess.
What do you say?
It's easier to never, it's easier to never start than it is to stop once you started.
And my argument is you're at 1% you might as well continue.
You sound like that.
You remember that guy Gary V?
Yeah.
You remember that?
Like, yeah.
Just the most bullshit motivational shit ever.
He was like, go out there, beat people up.
win money.
I've never seen a Gary V video.
I just know the general kind of idea
of what that guy was.
I saw a long time.
It's like an investor.
I don't know what he knows.
He's definitely a guru,
but I don't,
yeah,
I don't know exactly how he made his money.
I'm sure it was fucked up.
Yeah.
You don't get it at most of it
and he just fucking aside
he doesn't show.
I haven't seen.
Did he get banished from like the bro?
No.
He's just a regular looking guy.
I was like,
hey, I got this car
for only fucking.
Oh,
fucking.
Like age three guys.
Ty Lopez.
Here in my garage.
Here in my garage.
He's got this Lamborghini here.
Renting, like you can see it.
It's listed like on Zillow or something.
You're just like, oh, this guy's renting this fucking mansion and leasing this fucking
Lambo, which that's what all those rich people do because also rich people are extremely
stingy too.
Yeah.
So they're like, I don't, I don't know if I should buy this.
And I'm like, do what?
Because of what?
Like, what's going to happen?
Huh?
He was like, he always went monkey because he got.
I mean, I get it for, say if you're an NBA player, they're like, oh, I got my, they usually don't teach them about taxes.
They don't teach them about, you know, there's so many things.
So they should.
Older ones, like they should rent.
They're very aware of that.
Now, because they all have agents too.
Yeah, of course.
That are, you know, they'll probably get killed if they try to, you know, do something.
The agents are pretty good now.
Before, it was like old tax people, right?
You would get a tax guy and then you would end up.
in prison immediately, like, as soon as you, like, oh, he hired and then they just put you in cuffs
immediately because they're like, we already know what's going to happen.
That was in the fine print of the service.
He's like, we'll be arrested.
Everybody just clicks.
All of the celebrities were getting like, like, a handful of celebrities were getting arrested, like,
every other year because every fucking accountant was just corrupt.
Like, maybe at this point you want to just do your own taxes.
Yeah, I don't trust nobody anymore.
Doing your taxes for probably being like a super, a super, like,
like lucrative celebrity probably sucks, though.
I don't see why.
If you have your hands in too many things.
Is this more money?
Obviously when you get that kind of money, you're different.
If you have, that's a good problem to have.
That's true.
That's a, that's a, I want to get to that threshold to where, you know, I'm annoyed how
how much taxes are taken from me, but it's still more than enough to live off of, like,
the money.
Right.
Like right now, it's at the point where it's still too upsetting.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm like, oh, this.
Literally breaks my heart.
I'm not making it nearly as much as I feel like I am.
Especially because you know that all that money is just going to give some fucking guy in Israel all of his health care for free.
That's what's infuriating me personally.
Why can't I keep my few thousands versus the top people that should be paying tens of millions of dollars?
It's so upset.
Remember when they audited the fucking military and then they were like, well, we just can't account for like billions of dollars?
Yeah, it's like, oh, cool.
Oh, cool.
But what is that?
Did you?
Wait, but hold on.
What did this, this, this black guy exchanged $600 on Venmo?
Like, oh, we got to get that guy.
We got to get him.
We're going to put a lien on his bank account because, because you owe us a few hundred dollars.
We're going to drop.
Dude, smallpox in his fucking house.
Because on, there was a mistake.
I don't know what happened, but there was a mistake where I owed California some money.
Chum change type shit.
But like enough to where they were like, they were like, they.
threatened, like, lean stuff. And I'm like,
Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of
Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new
director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed his vision
for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research,
what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,
whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better
AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do
different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things
that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? They will come up
point when it will mature, right?
Yeah.
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with quantum?
By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.
That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway.
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This is, go after the bad, what are you doing?
Like, starting to lean on the...
I know, I'm not retort.
I understand why they don't, but it's just so upsetting that like...
Remember when Trump said he would abolish the IRS?
And he didn't do it?
Of course, he didn't.
They're not gonna do it.
Why, I go back to Andrew Shulton.
He's like, I didn't vote for any of this stuff.
I'm like, negative.
Like, come on.
I didn't know.
How was I supposed to do that the fucking real estate reality TV guy?
What's the truth of?
In 2006, he was like, he was given like a little seminar or whatever.
there was this Trump University thing.
And he was like, yeah, yeah.
He was like, hey, yo, he was like this.
He was like, hey, you still go to, you know, in trench in New York.
So it was like, hey, yo.
You remember that when Trump was like that?
Yeah, of course, yeah.
Yeah.
I already remembers that.
But he was like, hey, yo, I can't wait for the housing bubble to collapse.
He's like, because then I'm just going to buy low.
It's so high because obviously.
He's like, yeah, like a crisis.
What word did you use specifically when they use a recession, like a recession kind of
thing. Like that shit's golden and the idea that I just hate people that they don't understand.
They understand like, say, stocks for, they're like, oh, I get it. You want to buy low, sell high,
obviously. But for some reason, they can't understand that for everything else and how these rich
people make their money. It is crazy. And to see, like, a rich people being like, oh, yeah, I'm going to
fix everything and make everything really great. So I can't do what I do to get rich.
It's such a crazy blind spot that, like, I don't even understand how you, that seems like such a
fundamental. It's like building a building without the support structures. It's like how do you,
how do you have the facade? But like you don't know that this requires load bearing. Yeah.
Facilities. You don't like it's, it's so strange to me. It's so unfortunate that that's, I have a
hard time believing some people actually believe this. I'm like you can't, you can't, you like,
you like low level people are kind of dipping their toes into stocks now and stuff like that,
especially because of cryptocurrency and shit. I was like, okay, you understand the concept now. So
why would you think these insanely rich people that got rich by doing this thing would make things a level playing field?
Why would they fix things and regulate things or abolish things that?
I'm like, shut.
I just don't understand why I get duped by stuff every once in a while.
Yeah.
But damn, not like fucking never do.
Not like there's an AI bot right now that I'm actually kind of really impressed with.
Because usually the bots, oh, what I mean by this is like the scammer.
type bots. Usually they have like a script
they go off of so you could talk
shit to them and they're going to still say the same
thing, you know, nicely. I have
one that I really like and I want to post it again
where they thought they were asking for Maurice.
And so then I started pretending
to be on Maurice from Beating the Beast
and I started just getting all these pictures
that like this at one point she was like, oh, I'm so wet right now.
And I got a picture of Maurice on the rain because like,
where he gets into the castle? And I was like, oh, me
too. And like I'm just doing like, I was just doing this
whole thing. It was like really fun. He's out here fucking bating AI. It was like that was, see, that was, that was just, that was a bot with the script. Now the AI, so there's one that hopped into my DMs on Twitter because they have the, uh, you can bypass the thing because I don't allow people to DM me anymore, unless you have a checkmark. They can just bypass it. And so this AI was, I first started off kind of shitty, but now it's starting to correct itself. First, it was like, oh, do you remember we started talking a couple weeks ago, um, on X? And I'm like, the fuck, who fuck?
This random dumb slut picture thing.
Anyway.
So some stolen only fans bottle.
Yeah.
Something.
And then it started.
So then it started saying like, oh, we started talking over my recipe.
I do these videos.
And I was like, oh, right.
Yeah.
You said you were going to feed me.
And then it was like, oh, yeah, yeah.
I made this thing.
And I'm like, wow, it's really adaptive.
And the thing that it did today, because I stopped fucking with it.
Like I was talking to Jojo about it.
So a few days later, it's like, hey, I was hoping that we could talk more.
And then it misspelled more.
And then corrected it with the asteric.
And I was like, that's too good.
That's too good of an AI.
It's going to actually dupe a lot of people because that's a very human thing.
Yeah, that is very, yeah.
I was like, oh, man, this is not good.
Like, men are, the lonely men.
Oh, they're fucked.
Yeah.
They're fucked.
They're completely fucked.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, fuck lonely men.
They've always been like the, the most fucked, you know, as far as like,
or the most capable of being fucked with.
Yeah.
Or steered and, like, yeah.
Well, yeah, dugs are stupid.
Well, yeah.
But, like, now I'm just, I actually, it's, it's going to be.
So are you.
I mean.
Yeah, and I'm not lonely, so they must be stupider than me.
You just got lucky.
I mean, hey, man, he did get lucky, didn't you?
Luck of the draw, luck of the straw, you know?
Look at the draw, look of the straw, you know?
Look at the draw, look at the straw, that's absolutely a phrase.
Look at the draw, like it's true.
It is now.
Anyway.
Yeah, it works.
Checks out.
I don't care.
I'm out of here.
Anyway, anything else really happened, so.
Stefan King, did we mention it?
Did we mention him, Stephen King doing that?
Yeah, we did.
We didn't at least theorize why he did that.
I look, to me, if it's the worst thing to say, it's the worst thing that you could say if you wrote that book with that scene in it.
Yeah. And we're also on the list.
You know what I mean?
It would be a crazy thing for you to write.
Be like, yeah, I wrote that child sex scene and I'm also on the list.
So I'm just going to go out and publicly say that the obscene list isn't real.
when I have no stake in saying it is or isn't.
I could just shut the fuck up.
Yeah.
So.
Yeah, you could.
So,
I doubt he's on it for that reason,
but I would also be,
I feel like he's just an idiot.
I thought he might have been,
he might have been one of the people.
I think he's old as fuck and he's like going insane and his fucking,
I don't know where he lives.
There's like some hole in Maine.
Yeah.
There's in a fucking wine cellar in the middle of the fucking woods.
And he's going insane.
And he's just lonely and sad.
And he,
I don't know if he's still writing books or not.
I don't know.
I don't fucking know.
craziest thing is this, right? Like, just like not bring it up. Yeah, just what's the biggest thing,
right? Yeah, because no one, I would not have, I would not have assumed in the, the first 100 people
that would have come to mind that is, that's probably on that list. I don't think Stephen King was there.
You know what I mean? But now he's like 45. Yeah. No, seriously. Like, he just shot up where I'm just like,
why would you do that? Why would he do that? It's, it's, uh, it's one of those things where either he's like
somewhat of a what would you call it a masochist or a sadist which one is it when you want to hurt yourself
massacist is when you want to hurt yourself okay so it is hurting other people hurt it other people okay
got you so it's like maybe he's just like I'm bored I want to like people to fuck with me or
if I'm being charitable I know one of the narrative that's been going around is that there is no
list right and they just been you know the Trump administration and all the people were using it
just as a weapon and they they had nothing the entire time so maybe he's
He believes that narrative.
And he's like, there was nothing.
But also, to counter that, it's fucking absurd to think business people at that high level don't keep records of everything.
Yeah.
It's truly absurd.
It's like, and also the issue is too, it's like, oh, well, maybe there was something.
And now there isn't because they destroyed it.
In which case, okay.
Yeah.
So, like, I mean, that doesn't really change anything.
still want, like, there's still answers that he still answers.
Galane Maxwell, allegedly, I say allegedly, I should say, apparently is willing to,
I saw that.
I don't know if that's true, because that sounds, that doesn't sound true to me.
That sounds fake.
They said, like, a thing where, like, I saw something on Twitter, like a headline.
I couldn't verify it because I just don't care.
Yeah.
But there was a thing where it said, I saw a headline that said Galane Maxwell was willing
to talk, I guess, or something.
Yeah.
Finally, which is like, why now?
Yeah, I don't.
It's been ample time.
I'm not even sure she's alive
You know we haven't seen her
Yeah in fucking years
So like I don't know
Something's gonna
I guess the most interesting thing
And the most annoying thing is the
There's a lot of people that obviously
Were involved and there's a lot of people
That know a lot of things
And I think there's just too many people
That are afraid of getting whacked
Yeah yeah
And I get that
I'm just wondering
Because I know witnesses are getting
Fucking just falling out of the sky
The best thing that
can hope for right now or we can hope for is
so Trump is kind of screwing over Putin
or at least he's gearing up to because
it was clear that Putin had an agenda the entire time
he never intended to stop you know bombing Ukraine
like wait hold on on
this is the first time I'm hearing about this
you're saying you're saying Vladimir Putin doesn't
want to stop bombing Ukraine apparently not
is that what you're telling me I see I was told that Trump was going to
Stop it.
This is a, I got to be honest.
Three calls, right?
This is a three phone calls, right?
I got to be honest with you.
This is a fucking revelation.
Yeah, absolutely.
Like, I was listening to Dave Smith.
Yeah.
Dave Smith assured me.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
So, well, is it?
I think that, I think that this is the best case scenario.
Putin is going to be pissed off that he's giving you, uh, Trump's giving Ukraine weapons.
He's doing it.
He said, hey, could you bomb fucking St. Petersburg and Moscow and shit like that?
So he's going to be like, like,
so fucking mad about that.
So maybe what's going to happen is he's going to put his fillers out for the people who
know stuff about Epstein.
Give them asylum in Russia.
Oh, that'd be interesting.
And, like, actually just dime Trump out and all this people.
Best case scenario.
That would be nice.
That's a fun hypothetical.
It is.
I would, God, that would be so awesome.
Even though I hate Putin, everybody hates Putin other than Putin, right?
Yeah.
Even his fucking homies that are like, they're like, fuck, I hate this nigga, but I live here.
I think, I feel like Putin is the kind of guy to like he has to hide for.
from his people, like actually.
Like, he can't pull a brazen, come out there and, like, go give a speech.
If he does, if he does, someone's going to be like, all right, blight him.
They're killing it.
Yeah, he can't do that.
He can't do a parade or he can't even be behind glass.
They'll get through it.
They'll get through it.
Yeah.
They'll walk through it and start squeezing and awake through it.
They'll put, they're like, crush him in a box.
Yeah, just keeps getting smaller and smaller.
Glass bending in.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
It's just very silly.
You see that Matt Gates is in charge of the EFstein file now?
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta.
We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,
whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI,
coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
Right?
Yeah.
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with Quantum?
By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.
That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway.
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No, you're, that's not real.
That's not real.
Look, man.
There's no way that's real.
That has to have been a joke, right?
Yeah, probably.
Yeah, I was like, dude, there's no, I was like, I was going to be like, I didn't see it.
And I was like, that doesn't sound like it's true, but also like, no, it can't be.
It's a good joke.
It really is to the point where like nothing sounds fake anymore.
Sure.
You know what I mean?
You're, fucking Mexican aliens.
You know, what's real anymore, really?
You are absolutely right.
That, it's not a stretch.
It's just, it's too, I can't handle that right.
It's too on the nose.
The world has no meaning anymore, you know.
Like, there's no rhyme or reason why ridiculous things happen anymore.
Yeah, kind of.
But it's none of the cool ridiculous.
Only the fucking like, what the fuck.
It's only dumb ridiculous.
I love that tweet that, fucking, what is it?
Jake Paul tweeted.
I was like, we're living in idiocracy.
They misspelled idiocracy.
just fucking awesome
and Jake Paul said that
of all people
yeah of all people right
like you are idiotocracy the person
yeah and you also
this is
are you happy about it
because he voted for this shit
he's also making a ton of money
off of it like what do you mean
like shut the fuck up
like what do you
I really really I really
fuck up
I hate it when people say that also
yeah
I want him
I want him to fight somebody
that would just willing to kill him
I want him to get a ring
with someone that's like
oh I'll do it
and someone hits him so hard
that his head's head
spins around like three times.
So it's him so hard that it's like the first hit the round starts.
And it's like that fucking fight from the Jason Bourne movie where they have the fucking
bare knuckle fight in the one like the field.
And the fight starts and he knocks a guy in conscience and the guy dies.
He just dies.
And I'm like, whoa.
Jason Borg killed somebody.
Yeah, he killed but one hit.
And I was like, who was like, oh, what a way to go.
That'd be funny to see for a moment.
Then it'd be like, oh, man.
It would be funny to see for you.
Yeah.
I think he funny for a second.
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.
Paul brothers should, yeah, fight each other.
And I don't know.
They haven't done that yet.
Kill.
You should inject each other with rabies.
And then wait 24 hours.
To wait 24, 28 hours and then throw him in a ring.
I like that.
And then he's attacking each other and then at the end of it is gun them both down.
That's such a fucking, that's so stupid.
Everyone's clapping.
Everyone's clapping.
This is exactly what I wanted.
I'm in a front crowd doing cartwheels.
I'm so fucking asking.
That's going to be, yeah, that's going to be a Trump's a UFC event.
That's going to be the.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
They're doing the UFC thing on the White House.
On the lawn or something.
I don't know.
Trump FC.
I have not looked into it.
As soon as I heard the concept of it, I was like, I don't want to know anything else about this.
Yeah.
Like I completely checked out.
I was like, nope.
I can't believe.
Man, I used to really like the UFC event.
Same.
Same used to be really cool.
and then like everyone went crazy.
Strickland said something good one time
and it ended up becoming a fucking racist.
Like two frames later, he became the biggest bigot.
I love it.
He's so fucking stupid.
And he fights like a fucking coward too
and it makes me so fucking angry.
I hate the way he fights.
I don't know this person.
He's the defense.
He was the most defensive fighter of all time.
That's all I can say.
So that just translates to being, yeah.
He's extremely good at defense.
Does a little bit of this thing,
the Philly shell.
You know like Floyd Mayweather?
Well, he can't be better than,
I feel like I'm pretty good at defense
defense in what
like what kind of defense
like in what sense
like in the basketball
in the sense that he does UFC
and he gets hit and he blocks
right
but I am so good at defense
that I've never even been hit once
in the UFC
so I guess in the sense of like
in the sense of people
being in the UFC
and someone
not being in the UFC.
You're better at the people.
I'm clearly better at defense in the UFC than this guy is.
But would that not nullify you?
Because I've never even, no, it wouldn't nullify me.
Because you're not in the UFC.
So why would you be better than someone who's in the UFC at defense when you're not in the UFC to defend?
Kingston, I don't even have the time to explain how stupid that question is.
Okay, sorry.
I'm not bad.
I was just trying to acquire.
The most defense of all time, defensive player of the year, I guess.
Yeah.
Chris Raygun.
You're fucking...
I'm so defensive
I can't be there.
Everybody go to Wikipedia
and fucking make this true.
Yeah.
It would be funny if we had a concerted effort
to ruin Wikipedia.
Yeah, we should.
Everybody just like at all...
We get as many people
to converge on Wikipedia
once and change as much stuff as possible.
I did it kind of with full metal sheen by accident.
I didn't tell people to do that.
But like enough people did.
That's unprovoked.
Yeah.
Because it makes it so unfortunate is that
there's probably like one like high school or like
Man, I really got to figure out how to do this work paper.
And he's stressing out about that he goes in.
He's like, why the fuck does it say that Kingston Jamerson created Pangea?
It's like, what the fuck?
I'm just trying to do homework.
I'm so confused.
You created Pangea.
I'm so confused.
What are you mean?
Is that it?
Only Pangea?
There's like a bunch of just doctored shit.
Like I'm pretty much Joseph Smith before like Earth.
Oh, it's perfect.
That's great.
Anyway.
The white woman was created by the father of sleep.
We got some questions over at Patreon.
on a com slash a snartank
you too over there
at home
can ask or I don't know
maybe you're listening
to this in the car
I've thought
I don't know
I'm not omniscient yet
but I think
you know
you can pop on over
to Patreon
to Com slash the Stark Tank
ask us a question
throw us a bone
yeah
and you can
you can participate
bonus a throne
bonus a throne
Soviet penguins
rodin
says hello
snark gang
my question for you
stems from your
conversation
about the song
jail bait
I have a playlist
of songs
that in the right context are downright deplorable.
Songs like 17 by Winger,
I wonder what that's about.
There's no song called 17
that isn't about what you would imagine it is.
What else gonna be about?
Like literally, it's impossible.
The only thing that can be about that's not bad
is you were memphis when you were 17.
That's it.
Nah.
17, I drink my very first beer.
But don't bring up anything about anyone else.
Remed this on yourself.
Do you remember that?
Do you remember that song, fucking that annoying.
Oh, my God.
I'm having flashbacks to this.
It was all over like, it's like, once I was seven years old.
Mama to.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Is that the Had a Bad Day song or is that the same one?
No.
A different song.
You had a bad day.
You're taking one down.
You sing a sad song just to turn it around.
Bro, that's the most commercial song of all time.
I only remember it from American Idol.
They would play that for people when they'd,
lost. Oh really? Yeah, literally. This is true. I didn't know that. I don't remember that. I
I remember that. I remember that. It's so funny. It's so funny because it's just like that's so mean.
Like you edit this whole montage of them failing. It's basically a music video every time they fail to that song.
That's fucking funny. Or at least that's what I remember. I'm pretty sure. I'm like 90% sure that
it should be easy to find I imagine. Yeah, yeah. Go ahead and look for it. You guys, not me.
Yeah.
Yeah. Wait, so what's that other song? The seven years old is your seven years old. It was just so fucking
This is like 2014 maybe
And just like
Once I was seven years old
My mama told me
Life would be better when you're older
I don't know
I don't even know if those are the words
But like it was like something
And it kept going
It's like once I was 10 years
You know and it keeps going
Sounds awesome
It's great
That's like a song that Lily would like
I can't stop dancing to it
Like commercial music
Yeah of course
She's in a Honda accord
Theme songs
You know the show that's a song
that's a commercial song, but I love a lot.
Pocket Full of Sunshine.
I love that fucking song.
That's not a bad one.
I don't like that part of the song, but the Take Me Away part.
Take me away.
I like that.
I got a bucket, got a bucket of water sunshine.
That shit's stupid to me, but it's fun.
It's fun.
But like in a, it's not like a thing where I want to like, because I listen to,
I was jamming out to fucking bring new spirits the other day.
You know, but I like listening a lot of shit.
But when I hear things like that, that's not like, to me, that sounds like a jingle.
And I don't want to listen to.
It does sound.
It sounds like,
it sounds like Activia,
kind of,
you know what I mean?
Activia.
Yeah.
You know,
I don't want to get paid
to make jingles,
dude,
that'd be fucking sick.
That's how Marty O'Donnell's,
the guy who did the HALO theme
got started.
Oh,
really?
Yeah,
he did the Flintstones
Vitons Vitians jingles.
I mean,
the same with what you call?
I'm not even jimms.
I'm not even though.
The Flintstone's on kids or whatever.
Yeah,
literally that.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
Yeah,
he was one of the kids.
That's crazy.
Same with Hamel.
Activia!
Damn it!
I was going to do that.
I just couldn't think of a good one.
He said serious.
Before he was, before he was the
the film superhero,
the film hero of all time,
he was a jingle.
What jingle did he say?
I don't know,
there's probably some jingles for fucking,
I don't know,
the fucking 50s.
Yeah.
He was like,
he was like,
I was hoping something like sooner.
Like,
well, that wouldn't make it sense.
Tampon!
Tamp off!
That motherfucker was Luke Skywalker,
and then he is like literally
the argument.
arguably the most iconic voice actor ever.
Head on.
Applied directly to the forehead.
Head on.
Do you remember?
Hot pockets.
I can't like a...
Do you remember fucking head on?
That is an insane laugh.
Like when he starts low.
Oh yeah.
That's fucking crazy.
He eventually just reaches like a Jalen laugh at some point.
Jalen laughs like the height of the joke of the joke.
Like it's insane.
His laugh.
Because he screams.
He wails.
He does.
Jaylen's laugh.
I haven't heard Jaylen laugh like that in a while where he gets to the point.
It's been a minute.
Where he fucking like laughs till he's wailing.
When we were younger,
that's because you don't go out with us.
I don't see you guys often as I used to.
But like when I was,
when we were younger,
especially when we were like back home in our area,
there'd be times where I'd hear Jaylen laughing like in campus.
And I'm like not near him on campus.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm like not near him on campus.
It is crazy.
Jalen's laugh.
I remember hearing it like in the hallways at school sometimes.
It's almost like the witcher left or dead.
where you're like,
who, you're like, what the fuck?
Something's happening somewhere.
That's hilarious.
Do you think, because the witch is just a little, it's a little,
it's essentially a little bitch, you know.
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research,
Jake Embatta.
We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,
whether it's coming up with new algorithms,
rhythms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do
different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things
that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
Right?
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with Kondo?
By 2025, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.
That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing,
visit IBM.com
slash quantum.
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway.
Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals.
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See website for full terms and conditions.
Do you think you could like possibly one punch?
The Lefer Dead Witch?
Yeah.
I think she's low-key kind of hot.
Well.
Bye.
I feel like that's a dangerous.
I don't know.
I feel like I've smashed worse, you know.
Probably, but like, not probably, definitely.
But like.
No.
I feel like I've got a couple of overs.
The Witch is my witch from Lefer Dead is my bar, I think.
Yeah.
I needed a swam.
Bob.
That's a couple ogres on my belt.
You know what I mean?
God Christ.
I wish I did too.
I don't know if I,
that's,
that's not.
I wish I did.
That's kind of crazy.
That is really mean.
But an ogre for me is like,
that's a monster.
That's like a monster.
That's like a monster.
That's literally fucking an or.
You can find a woman.
Dude.
I just realized I never,
but I would love that.
I'd be fine with that.
Like the Italian from 3-5 or 6?
I just realized I never finished reading this question.
Oh, right.
You said 17 and that's it.
Yeah, we went on a tangent.
Absolutely.
Don't worry, Soviet,
because we're not going to treat you like round-eyed Asian
and we're actually going to read your questions.
We're always skipping that guy by accident,
just by pure coincidence.
I don't like round-out Asians.
I mean either.
Commit.
How do I know what you are?
How do I know what you are?
You look sort of funny, but like in a strange one.
Anyway, songs like 17 by Winger,
The Remix to Ignition by R. Kelly.
Oh, yeah.
It's a great song.
It's good.
that was only played in my
Pito-style rape van for aesthetic.
That was those
It is unfortunate.
This dude's going hard on the pain on like all the stuff.
Yeah, man.
What are you trying to say about you, sir?
What are you trying to do, man?
Any recommendations for song in that vein?
Yeah, I got plenty.
I got plenty of recommendations.
What is this genre?
Petolite.
Petal light?
Is that what you said?
Petolite.
I don't want to put that word in there.
Could it be more subtle?
The PDF files
What about a
I don't know
How do you like
How would you
If you wanted to say mixtape
But like but make it like
Purvy
Mix tape
Um
I wanted to come off
I have one
But it's a mixtape full of
I have one
But it's too fucking on the nose
Yeah
What do you got
Mix rape but like that's too on the nose
Predator core
Predator core
That they're just all in the
I don't you can't
I feel like
Because Predator is not inherently like, you know what I mean.
I guess it could mean a few things.
Yeah, yeah.
You could mean just badass.
Like it does.
It did at one point.
Maybe.
It did at one point mean fucking cool.
Like if somebody was like, there was a point in time that I could believe that the term sexual predator was like a compliment.
I can never believe that.
I could absolutely believe it was like, you know, I'm on the fucking hunt.
I'm on the hunt for slash, dude.
I mean, I guess if you're in college probably.
If you're in college.
college around Predators.
No, no, but listen.
If you're in college, if you're in college,
if you're in college specifically in like 19, like 6972.
Oh, yeah.
That's the golden age of,
but that's what they were though.
No, but that was not a concept.
But they were.
Because it was just,
Predator was a movie about like fucking, whoa, that's so cool.
Like I understand that, right?
But they still were that.
Like maybe the concept.
That's not what I'm talking about.
But they were still predators.
That's not the point, though.
I think Predator is always a bad thing
What do you mean?
I think Predator has always been like something you watch out for.
That's such a dumb thing to say.
It's not, it's a thing you watch out for, but it's also, the issue is it's like,
it is always a thing you watch out for, but it's, it wasn't always like a negative thing to be.
Like there was a point in time where like if somebody was like a predator, like if someone was on a predator on like a battle view or something,
it's like that's a dangerous fucking person.
That's badass.
Francis and Ganoo, this is a nickname.
The predator.
It's different.
Or the predator.
They call him in English too
But they're also called him the predator in English
I think he at the end
Him being French is worse
It's way worse
It makes it
Pepe Lepeu and imagery
Well to be fair he just
You know he immigrated to France
So at least he's not doesn't have French blood in him
Is he so bad he's pure
He's not
Cameroonian
Cameroonian
That's why he's fucking
That's why he's fucking effortlessly massive
He doesn't have filthy
Dirty
I never go to it
Muddy French blood
He's like, I never work out.
I never did that.
I just, I just lifted salt bags and I put salt bags back down.
Is Adrian Brody French?
Brody?
Just by looking at him?
I don't know.
He's a French's looking person I've ever seen.
Dude, by the way, that fucking Photoshop or that AI thing of us being all being white.
I just saw it in this morning.
Can you put that in the episode?
What do you mean?
The one note that I would have 50 minutes in.
Okay.
I'll put the timestamp.
There's a, some guy.
You didn't see this?
No.
Oh my God, dude.
You're going to fucking flip out.
I quote tweeted on the snark tank thing.
It's truly disgusting.
50 minutes in, white us.
White us.
This is white.
It is so fucking disgusting.
You didn't see it really.
Is it white or you?
Are you white or are you just like?
Yes.
They make you like non-ethnic?
They made me white.
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata.
we discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,
whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI,
coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with Conton?
By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.
That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.
Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway.
Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals.
Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season.
These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online.
Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight,
Frito Lay, and Signatures Select.
Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only.
Restrictions apply.
See website for full terms and conditions.
It's truly why.
It is crazy.
And I saw it, I was like, ew.
That's disgusting.
I literally quote tweeted and just put, ew.
That's what I said, too.
What do you?
Whoa.
I get to this.
Bruggelly, buggly, buggledly red.
I'm gonna, fucking beat my dick to I fall asleep red.
I edited like six clips last night, by the way.
They're all gonna, they're all gonna, they're all scheduled.
Juj, joju.
Yeah, Moji Jojo.
We got a couple other ones coming up.
What was the other one?
RFK and Dragon Ball Z.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
I don't know.
That one, uh, Ozzy Osbourne one blew up.
So I was like, I might as well just fucking.
Oh yeah.
Might as well, like keep, what's hot.
I'm trying to figure out like what the best.
I'm experimenting with times to post though.
So you might see him at like,
Yeah, dude, look at
Look at that, dude
You kind of look like
The act man
At a glance, I look the same
And then you look closer
You're like, what the fuck is that, dude?
And then you can scroll over one more
To see white ass me
Like Scott the Was
We all look like Scott the Was
I don't like white me
I don't want to be that
You look like Caso
I do, no I don't
White you is Caso
No white
I'd rather be around Koso than white me any day.
Well, that's redundant.
That's so gross.
Isn't it so disgusting?
I really hate that image.
I don't know who did that, but you're dead to me.
You're a dead person to me.
It's nice to have an image of me being truly white, though, because it's like, oh.
Because you're finally done paying pretend, you know.
Like, that's really upsetting.
This is what I'm going to use.
Because you're a pretend.
You're like a, yeah, I guess.
I'll fit in for right now.
When they start deporting the rest of the.
minorities and I'm like, nah man, this isn't me.
You're gonna show you as you are gonna show this.
Yeah.
This is how I realized.
I've been working in the minds.
I feel like the ice agents are dumb enough to fall for it.
Like you just show them, you're like, look, dude.
Like, come on.
Come on.
Come on.
He's like sniffing it like a fucking.
His nose is moving up and now too like a, like a parking dog.
I guess.
I guess.
I'll be watching you though.
I'll be watching you.
I'll keep my fucking eyes on.
He's like a fucking predator.
I guess near your face opened his mouth and a lot.
little, not the predator.
Alien.
Alien, the little tongue comes out.
I think you're brown.
A little ice agent.
I think you're brown.
Smaller ice agent comes out.
That's crazy.
He's brown.
Get him.
Kill him.
Get him.
He's brown.
Anyway.
No.
I'm not going to be a better enough.
I don't have recommendations for you.
I don't think.
I do not.
I genuinely, I pay so much attention to lyrics and music to the point where like I think
if there was ever a song about.
Oh, I guess 17 by Stevie Nix isn't is the only song
I can think of that isn't necessarily
about that. Oh, it's called 17? Yeah, yeah.
I think so. I don't know.
I have no songs in my blue.
All American Rejects has one.
I can't remember what the song is.
Dirty little secret. Dirty little secret.
Was it a song?
Allegedly, I'll keep you my dirty little secret
or whatever. Yeah, I think it's more about like an affair
or something.
I haven't listened to the lyrics a long time.
I've heard the word on the street is that it's about a
A youngan.
I heard it was just about cheating.
Well, it's,
it's both.
I think it's,
yeah,
I think it's implied,
but like also.
You see them doing like,
uh,
those backyard shows,
by the way?
I did see that.
That was dope.
I actually,
I,
I don't know why more bands because the,
uh,
just the,
the atmosphere of it is so much better than a giant fucking show.
And it,
and it just,
it's great publicity.
Dude,
I would,
yeah,
I would love to see like some of my favorite bands in like a backyard,
like,
or like a basement show.
Like,
that was the one thing that I was like sad.
I was like it was too young to see rise against in that era
because like by the time I was old enough to see that they were like fucking arenas
doing arenas but like I would see videos of them doing like basement shows
I'm like this is sick dude I would love to be in like at one of these I saw um I saw
my friend's best order of bear wants at a basement show and that was weird as fuck it was like
somewhere in fuck oh yeah and like Albany and I was like what the fuck is a bear once is I
yeah and I was like and I was like what the fuck are they doing here and I was like
it was a terrible experience I want to see Tom Jones and a wine cellar that's
crazy or fucking who's who's the guy
that did all the fucking music for Star Wars? Not
avidate. John Williams? John Williams?
He's just in a basement somewhere. He's in
a... It's literally him. He fits
an orchestra in the basement. There's only a for like six
other people, maybe. Maybe. And we're just like,
this is amazing. That's what sucks though, man. Like, every
once in a while bands do do stuff like that.
Lincoln Park actually did a thing
like that, but it sells
out in seconds.
Yeah. Dude, there's a
A death core band that are playing again after 17 years called Elijah.
And they're playing at Chain Reaction.
And I haven't seen them in almost 20 years at Chain Reaction.
So it's like I was anxiety all week because tickets went on sale today at 10 a.m.
You get them?
I got them.
But like they're looking at the comments, two minutes after it went on sale, it sold out.
That was like the PS5, the anniversary, like the PS1 colored PS5 pro that they were doing.
Yeah.
One you have?
No, I don't have that. I never got it.
I tried. You tried, but it was just...
I had like three separate... I had an iPad up. I had my fucking laptop up. I had my computer up because I was like, I definitely want this.
Yeah. I keep telling him to make a boss. We should. We should. We should.
This was, um... Make a boss we can do shit like that. Yeah. Make a boss.
Yeah, I mean, that's... I guess. It is the way. Get three of them and then just sell them for regular price.
Or find the scalpers and kill them. I vote for that one. Yeah, I would way rather. It's just,
The scourge of the blight of humanity.
I go to like a suburb of joy.
Like the fucking scalpers, man.
Well, listen, if dirty little secret is about that,
that would be my recommendation because I have no other, I don't know.
I don't.
Yeah, there's probably an article about that.
Yeah.
Yeah, look up an article.
That's my answer to your question.
Anything from Drake.
Anything where Drake?
I mean, maybe.
I'm way too famous for that shit you just suggested.
Crazy.
I don't.
I said fuck that.
I don't know what the strides and effect is.
You know, like what are you?
Like, bro, you can't.
Don't, don't leave.
Stop.
You used to think about the times we each bell.
I said fuck that.
I used to call my buddy Epstein.
Call him when I need some kids.
You know what's crazy?
he's still doing record numbers.
You know my bad old blame?
Well yeah, he's, of course.
He's cemented.
Yeah, I never listen to him.
Everybody was like, fuck, drink,
and then he went off toward France
and broke numbers.
There can be a video of him
69ing with Millie Bobby Brown
when she first started
on fucking crazy.
And he's still going to get numbers
because that's unfortunately where we are now.
There could be a video of him
microwaving a baby and he'd be fine.
Yeah, he's doing the hotline bling dance.
He's doing the dance.
It's really funny.
The babies in the background.
It's in that pastel like bisexual lighting.
It's like
It really sucks because I think I do
I understand where the beef came from
but that shit got so like personal and gross.
And then we saw like another beef right after it
like Joey in the West Coast and it never got disgusting.
It was oh we're just rapping.
We're here rapping about it.
It was a normal one, yeah.
We're not going to be disrespectful to each other.
We're not going to drag people's families into the mix because there's no reason to do that.
And it's like, like, I respect Kendrick for like, if Drake is this guy that's so fucking terrible and he is a vulture, you have to do things like that.
But just keep it rap.
Like, you know, like just there's a double-edged sword there.
I was like, uh.
At the end of the day, it ended fine.
Because Vince Staples was like, these niggas are like complaining and like doing his rap beep shit.
But these are the two biggest artists on the planet.
And like, inner scope is fucking over a bunch of artists.
And the only person that's fighting for it, a predominantly black company also,
probably black artists.
The only person that's fighting for is Taylor Swift.
And it's like, where y'all niggas at?
Helping out your people's music.
And it's like, damn, that is a real fucking thing to say.
Unfortunately, that is, I mean, when you think about, like, the leaders of course.
And the culture, I'm like, where is your philanthropy?
Where is your anything?
Where's your voice?
Where's your anything?
They don't fucking do anything.
And everything.
They're like, oh, I got mine and then they fuck off.
People care more about their money than like, I don't know.
The world around them, which is fucking hilarious.
Hux, you know.
Hilarious.
Sucks.
That's good greedy people.
All this shit.
Anyway, speaking about the world around us.
Can I spend one more thing?
Can I go ahead.
One more thing.
One more thing.
One more thing.
I think it's really funny, right?
You know, your money is important.
You make your money, right?
But I think of it like this, right?
The AMP crew, right?
All those niggas.
Each and every single.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A.M.
Not A.N.P.
Oh, sorry.
Each one of those niggas family, except for one of them, are foreign people.
They are all people that are under risk for all the bullshit that's happening.
Haitian, Shadadadan, fucking Dominican, Nigerian, a fucking, a bunch of them all African,
not one of them has said anything about the ICE raid bullshit, which is fucking insane to me.
But they're all, they are all, except for one of them, they are all literally people with family.
They're getting to hear.
Have you considered that maybe?
Less than a generation ago.
Have you considered that maybe they're just playing Fortnite and they're just kind of busy?
They're too busy streaming to talk about, like, I don't know.
The rights of human beings.
It drives me insane seeing that because it's like, dude, you guys.
Well, Mr. Rogers isn't saying anything.
Yeah, because he can't.
Hey, why aren't you using your platform?
I am.
I'm doing it right now.
340 episodes in.
How dare you, sir?
Have I not been someone that talks about like...
This is actually the first time you've ever said anything.
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbeta.
We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,
whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI,
coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to,
to have a legacy of building stuff,
building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things
that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
Right?
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point?
with quantum. By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very,
very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com
slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through
March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in-store tags
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You've been silent here this entire time.
I'm just schizophrenic.
I'm not the thing I'm talking.
I'm like, that's...
Why did you keep me off here?
I don't know.
It's really just to fill out the frame.
I want that.
I want to join a podcast where I'm just there as a prop and I do nothing.
Stand in the background.
And I get a fucking paycheck.
You're there with the one of the milker machines is on your fucking lap and just laying back.
I love that.
I love that.
I'm going to apply.
I'm going to actually, we got an interesting email from somebody representing this fucking comedian and she has like a podcast and all this stuff.
And like, we're much more influential than her.
But I'm like, damn, how the fuck does she get this person and this people to represent them?
I don't get it.
Really?
Yeah.
They were asking because they wanted to, they were doing like a podcast tour.
And they want, oh, they were doing a tour and they wanted to be a guest on the show, but the fit didn't make any sense.
Oh, I see.
She was much older.
She didn't really have much of a buzz either.
White woman?
Yeah, of course.
No.
But it was just one of those things where it was interesting that they, they sent an email.
They even sent a follow up.
Like, oh, like, we want to see because you guys are interested in stuff like that.
And I'm just like, where is that?
And I, and I, and I, because I want that thing to where people will do that for us in a right.
And I just don't understand how to break into that circuit of stuff.
Yeah, me neither.
I don't get it.
I don't, I don't see any adverts for, we're looking for people to represent.
And I'm confused on how they.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm so ignorant to the industry, dude.
It's all, it's all, it's all, it's all, that person back and
talk to them about like, hey, do you know anyone that's representing people in general?
It's all industry, like, get to get, like, you got to go to the, you got to go to the cocktail
hours. You got to go to the, um, you know, the, the, the, the, you know, the, the, the, you got to do it.
You're right about that. I did get, I did get, I had a lot of connections when I did go to
Vidcom million years ago. Yeah. I'm so over that shit, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.
Most people don't even go to these things. Most of the, it's just the excuse to, like, oh, we,
everybody knows everybody's going to be in town. So, like, it's a good time to go do it. Um, um, yeah, yeah,
Yeah, that's okay, yeah, fair enough.
Gotta start networking.
Yeah.
I don't want to fucking do that shit, though.
Anyway, you guys should invite Ivy Valentine onto the podcast,
wrote in.
He says, hey, stupid gay retard and Derek and Chris.
Jesus, Chris.
Oh, wow.
Hey-oh.
Gotcha.
I decided to try out Yu-hoo to see what the hype was all about,
and I got to say, it's fucking bizarre.
The hype.
First of all, he said hype.
Yeah.
Chocolate water.
The YouTube.
It's not chocolate.
milk but a chocolate drink
and a glass bottle on a shelf at room
temperature. It's aggressively average.
Anyway, the question
is, what food or drink have you heard about and tried
only to find very mid?
For me, it was in and out
when I first got here. Like, I think it was fine.
I think it's just like, I remember hearing
that's, that was actually hyped.
Like, people would always talk about it. I got to go
to go to in and out. And that's very good for the
price.
I think it's like serviceable, but like, bro.
I was using my mind
I first had it because I was like, are you kidding me?
And the fries I got were like soggy.
I don't hate it now anymore really.
Like, but like the fries.
That was so disappointing after all of this buildup.
You got to get a decent burger.
I mean, well, fries in general, you can't let them steam up and get soggy.
Yeah, I think it's pretty good.
I don't know what I tried.
I, in and out, I love their patty.
I think they have one of the best patties because they, I've talked about this before.
I like them more now.
They use, um, they, you can, because of my acid is so sensitive, I can tell
that they use like onion oil.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's so delicious.
So just enough salt, a little bit of pepper, a little bit of onion oil.
And most people don't do that when they make their burgers.
It also, you know, it gives me extra ass to just eat their fucking patty.
I appreciate them.
I appreciate them because as far as I understand, it seems like they, they're not like a public.
They don't have like investors, I don't think.
Like they're like a private, they're not like a publicly traded company.
They're just like, we just make our fucking stuff.
So they're like Valve or like other other things that are also very.
good.
I see.
You know?
Yeah.
That's why the shit is so cheap because like we don't.
It's cheap.
We don't have to raise prices to appease some fucking random guy in the Netherlands.
Gave us like two million dollars 50 years ago.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's, uh, it's, it's, it's, it's, I, yeah, that's, I get it.
I, I know pretty much most stuff can be like overhype for people because you, you build up a
certain expectation.
But yeah.
I really feel like it's all about your taste buds.
What do you like the most?
And I'm trying to think.
One thing I've noticed that when it comes to a burger, uh, people,
I think it's like pizza
There's a lot of people now that can't appreciate a
Like a pepperoni or cheese pizza
And they have to put like everything on it
That bothers me
That's the only thing
And I feel like that's how people are with burgers too
To where I am the opposite
Where I strip it down to like meat and cheese bun
Very minimal maybe put some bacon on it
But bacon to me is sometimes cheating
I want to just taste how you
You don't do lettuce tomato?
No fuck no
Really?
I don't want so when you
Oh God
So to me when you start putting
The more you start stacking
the more it obscures the flavor of the patty.
So you can't taste the pepper.
I can't taste.
I can't taste the edge.
But lettuce and tomato are such minor taste in general.
Like I think purposely that's why they work.
To some people.
Like, but there's like, my taste was extremely sensitive.
So when you talk about people are like, oh, lettuce tastes like nothing.
I'm like, no, it hasn't distinct like iceberg.
Lettis does say.
It has a very distinct something, but it's so faint.
Like a lot of salads or to you.
That's what I'm saying.
I get.
Like, so, you know, like, you know, like, you know, so.
this is what I would say to somebody that has a traditional burger that has all the works on it.
And I would say, hey, what spices that they use in the paddy?
You would not be able to tell because the pickles, the onions, the fucking mayo, the ketchup, the fucking whatever else, the cheese.
It completely obscures the spices.
So now you're just eating a cocktail of stuff.
And I like all these things.
So this is good.
But to me, when you strip all this stuff away, you get to taste the butter on the bun.
Yeah.
And you're like, oh, wow, this butter, the butter, I can really taste the butter.
that's awesome.
It's obscured by everything else.
I agree with you wholeheartedly.
Yeah.
But I also feel very, very bad when I don't get, when I get a plain burger with no lettuce
and tomato because I feel like, oh my God.
It depends.
I'm a 10 year old.
You know what I mean?
It feels like, because I remember that's how I used to get my burgers because I was like,
I don't want fucking green and, you know, I don't want a fruit.
I love that.
But like, as I got older, I was like, I should probably, I'm having a burger for a
I should probably make this at least slightly healthier.
I guess.
To me, I'm like, if I'm going to eat healthy, I would eat something healthy.
So I love the guess.
I'm not doing this thing where I'm trying to trick myself.
I also, to be fair, I also have grown to like it.
Yeah.
I love the little, which is called the taste of tomatoes, the little bit of sourness of a tomato.
I like, I like lettuce crunch.
I like the crunch of a piece of lettuce.
So I like that.
I also get jalapinos on my onion out burger, though.
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna.
And I asked him, how can companies use AI?
to its fullest potential to create smarter business.
My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale.
Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side.
For example, if anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago,
they're already five years behind.
If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software,
30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive.
Yeah.
So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it.
We say, you can leverage what we did.
We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process,
because the biggest change is not technology,
is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things.
To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks.
Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway.
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Really?
I get chilies.
No, jalapeno.
Yeah, that's the thing.
Like, it's...
I love it.
I don't...
Because cheese and spice together together so well.
Yeah, I always say people like, do your thing.
I'm not trying to convince anybody eat my way.
I just say, like, the reason why I do certain things is because the more you add stuff, the more...
It changes the chemistry of the flavor.
So sometimes I really like how salt and pepper and just American cheese with a little bit of butter, like those flavors together.
I can distinctly feel and taste all of it.
once I start adding a little bit more,
even sometimes just a little bit of ketchup or mustard.
It's too much for me.
It starts to obscure the flavor a little bit.
So simplistic things like, like, you know, you have pancakes.
Pancakes with a little bit of syrup,
maybe you want to have a little bacon with it.
That's it.
You want to start now.
People are like, oh, I want whipped cream.
I want fucking strawberries.
I'm like, I've always hated that.
I can't taste everything.
I like, I have a, I like a bland taste at times.
I do enjoy bland things.
Yeah.
But I totally depends.
I think I don't because like when we and Lily cook, whenever I season chicken, I make it very simple.
It's like it's some salt pepper, maybe a little bit of dobo, paprika, garlic and onion powder.
That's it.
That's it. That's all you need for me to have something tastes very, very, very good.
Yeah, that works.
But for her, she's like, it's not enough.
And I'm like, honey, when it's too much of it, you're just tasting salt opposed to the chicken.
Yeah.
Spices.
You're not tasting.
I would have to, I would have to grow up with Southern family.
Obviously, I know.
I would have to just taste because, like, you're just.
You're somebody, we make fun of you about the Raisin Cain thing.
Because I feel like there's-
I think Kane is fine, but I don't think it's like the most flavorful chicken.
I eat it.
That's one thing.
If it's a little lacking and I feel like the sauces do the heavy lifting, right?
I don't like sauce.
I want to, and that's my thing.
I don't, I'm fine with sauce.
I'm indifferent, right?
A lot of sauce.
But I need the chicken to, like say Gus's is great or it stands on its own.
People still get the hot sauce and everything and they dip it.
But independently, I don't need anything else.
Same thing with the Louisiana.
There's a few of them around.
There's one in a fucking Pasadena.
Like it stands on its own.
I don't need anything else.
That's it.
To be fair, when it stands on its own, there technically is too much salt.
So if you have a high blood pressure, you shouldn't be.
Yeah.
I've gotten older too.
Like, I purposely don't like salting things too much.
I love it.
I don't like, I just know that I shouldn't.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah.
I think for me, it's like, uh, having too much stuff on a burger is more of like a size issue.
Like I hate having a sandwich that falls apart
Or like a like a burger that falls apart
Yeah
Or like that's too tall to even bite into it
I was like this is fucking lame and stupid
And it's so it's performative
It's literally just for how it looks
And there's no consideration for how it tastes
So like typically I'll get a pretty stripped down burger
It's usually like paddy cheese bacon
And lettuce tomato and that's it
Like when I make eggs
I don't put
I literally likes putting
I'm Greek yogurt and eggs
To make it fluffier
I hate that
I just put milk in it
hate it.
It's like protein.
It's like more protein
than make it fluffier.
I don't like more protein
in your eggs.
I feel like it's
the tartness of the yogurt.
I just,
I can't even conceptualize it.
It's not,
I don't like it personally.
I like just eggs the way they are.
Like I even think sour cream
would work better than yogurt.
I just can't conceptualize it.
I'm thinking about flavors
mixed together.
I just feel like milk works.
Like I don't like milk.
Milk doesn't taste like milk.
Milk doesn't taste like anything.
It'll make it fluffy.
I don't even like making them fluffy.
I don't even like making them fluffy.
I don't like just as it.
I don't need it to be fluffy.
I don't even like, if I have eggs with cheese, I don't season them even.
I don't like eggs with cheese.
I love eggs with cheese.
You don't season eggs?
If I'm, if I'm making eggs with cheese, I don't season it.
I have a big egg and cheese for me to like eggs with cheese.
I always have just having like eggs and then like this cheese mix in, I'm kind of annoyed.
I fucking love it.
I love that shit.
I like, I'm a fan, but that's always my biggest pet fever of breakfast stuff when people don't season their eggs.
I don't, I think when it's whizes me nuts.
It's salt and it's hard.
Literally that's it's not hard.
Salt and pepper.
That's it.
That's insane.
I don't think you need some pepper.
I don't think you're like those fast food places that don't fucking season their eggs.
It pisses me off.
Maybe a little bit of salt.
Maybe a pinch of salt in there.
But like I just don't.
We're talking too much about food.
I'm getting hungry.
All right.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Things that we got disappointed with.
There's a lot of most.
Unfortunately, when I talk about patties, it's mostly that.
This underseason patties.
So go to Shake Shack.
It's a fine burger.
That's actually pretty good.
But again, five guys anywhere.
I strip down this stuff because I want to taste the patty
And it tastes like fat
It's just drenched in fat
Which people are like, oh, it's great
But then there's not enough salt and pepper
I love a five guys
Strip down burger man
I just, to me it's it's
There's not enough salt
I can't taste the salt of pepper
If I'm being real
I've got to me where I just only eat in and out
Really if I'm eating burgers now
Yeah you know what has a
I just don't get burgers other places
I'm like this did everything else is so like
Mid
You know it's crazy like so the quality is not good
It's also mid
That's crazy I don't think it's mid
I think they're good burgers that
I just, I like the way they season their patties.
That's fine.
I would never put up with that.
The issue of me is like,
I would never put up with that fucking drive-thew line for anything.
I don't,
under no circumstance.
I walk in.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I can't remember the last time I've gone in the drive-thew.
I walk in and it takes five minutes.
The drive-through line as a,
as a,
as I look at it,
is offensive to me.
It is.
It is.
That might as well be.
Nothing's that good.
Yeah.
Nothing's that good.
The one by the close ones are here.
Yes.
Yeah.
That one moves fast.
Every time I go there.
I don't care.
fast, but I just don't, it's still faster to park and walk inside.
Oh, you, it's always, always, always.
I wouldn't say always.
It depends on when you go.
If there's no line, then it's not faster.
Otherwise, there is only, there's never a line inside.
Every time I go there, there's a line there.
Every time I go there, but I usually go there after the other day.
How are you going there with a line outside or line inside, but no line outside?
When I go there, usually like to both lines.
There isn't fucking 10 people plus.
It's like I think the most.
There's a line of these people like waiting.
Oh, it's like three people.
Yeah.
And then they get their food.
Oh yeah.
Because there's only like three items in and out.
Because I go there.
I go there.
I go there like maybe like maybe once every two weeks about.
And every time I go there, like I usually go through pretty quickly.
Like if I go, it depends on you go.
Like obviously go in and out late.
You're fuck.
You're fucking.
I get that it's relatively quick for how large the line is because like Chick-fil-A's the same thing where there's only a handful of items.
where there's only a handful of items,
so just get your fucking chicken sandwich and leave.
But I'm just like...
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell,
host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research,
Jake Mbata.
We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM research,
what we always do is answer,
what is the future of computing,
whether it's coming up with new algorithms,
coming up with better AI,
coming up with quantum,
or coming up with just,
how do different accelerators go together?
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM
because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things
that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
Right?
Yeah.
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with Quantum?
By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.
That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway.
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in your step with fresh savings that
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Restrictions apply. See website
for full terms and conditions.
I order on the app, walk inside,
and my order's already ready.
And I also, I also think I'm impatient.
What's the most disappointing drink?
Ever?
That you've ever had.
But you were like, oh, I'm curious about this.
Mohitos disappointing me crazy.
Mahitos?
Yeah, crazy.
Bloody Mary.
Bloody Mary is the king in my opinion.
And what you call it?
I don't get it all.
With a tahin and a tamarino.
Oh, I don't know.
The tahine drinks are always fucking annoying to me.
Micheladas.
Disgusting.
Fucking disgust.
That shit made me not like Mexicans for a little bit, bro.
I was like, holy.
shit y'all niggins break this the fucking y'all are so much worse the Puerto rican
the idea the idea that a bloody mary even exists really is offensive to me like I really
don't European shit it is it is really psychosis but I see like the Clamato and all that shit
too I mean I guess they probably brought it from Spain oh you know what is another one
another one rum chata dude I've never had rum chata dude don't like like a
Malibu and then horchata or something
Just don't do it.
It's funny because it would be, it's one of those things to where like, oh, putting a little bit of Malibu rum, coconut rum in my horchata sounds delicious.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you think.
It's insane.
It's insane.
I think there's probably a way to make, but I think like I had it.
I was like, this is just worst coquito.
Like in every, every, every, everywhere.
What?
Pina de cocoa.
Pinat de cocoa?
I don't know.
It's the, it's the, um, it's like rum.
It's like rum, it's like rum, lemon juice and coconut milk or something like that.
Lemon juice and coconut milk.
It's a strange in there
I forgot what it's it's I don't know
I don't know what that is it's a very Puerto Rican drink that everybody
drinks it out the fucking jug
I forgot what it's called we just make goquito
I don't know I don't know
Hokito's like the it's like it's like a Christmas
beverage but there is there's another
drink that's like a it's probably more modern
I think that's yeah I don't I don't know
I know about it but my cousins love that shit
I just I ain't got no idea
don't think yeah I don't like alcohol in the first place
I'm being honest I'm not an alcohol drinker
I have haven't been like a day
decade.
When I said drinks, I just meant drinks in general.
Yeah, just any type of drink.
But those are the only ones that like really,
that like really bother me is those
alcoholic drinks.
So it's my ever drink.
Like the Long Island I see,
the first time I took a sip of that shit,
I was like,
this is the worst tasting thing.
Like only alcoholics and wife beaters drinks.
I like it.
There's a,
I just,
my problem is most people,
I think they do the opt.
I think so like when it comes to bartenders,
they do the alcoholic tactic where they try to give you way
more alcohol and think like, oh, I really like this person and like they'll hook, they got the
hook up.
So maybe they'll be like a repeat the customer.
The thing is, if you give them a hard drink, usually the only need to buy one.
It's a bad idea.
You should make it right.
Make it taste delicious.
So they'll buy multiple drinks.
So like creator class was a great example of that.
I told the guy, because I'm a Jameson ginger ale guy.
So I told him, hey, man, don't fucking do what you normally do.
Make it a little bit light.
And it's delicious.
And then I had like fucking six of them.
or something. Now it was a fucking open bar.
But like still, we were, we were clearly drinking our absence.
I saw people getting doubles of stuff and I'm like, you don't need to get doubles.
It's take your time and have a delicious drink.
Like a Long Island, every time when I fucking takes a Long Island from anywhere, there's way too much alcohol in it.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's not fucking good.
I usually start with a double and then I'll have like one other one.
Yeah, I just, to me it just makes, I want to, I want to drink.
I want to, I want to, I want to, that's why like light, I like loggers.
I don't like dark.
beers and I don't like a I fucking hate uh what are they called the IPAs I don't like
I PAs like it's like super concentrated bullshit this is like pissed to me yeah it's it tastes like
Pined like like this like you're like this like you smell a pine cone yeah grind it up and
then just drink it then I'm like oh yeah it's not it's not appealing to me at all but yeah so I like a lighter
beer just like a light logger like a green bottle logger is my favorite drink to you know just
St. Paulie's girl fucking pick one uh that stupid Italian one that starts with a
You know what's crazy to me?
Is that like,
I don't think about this at all
because like I guess,
I guess generally like we're past this.
Yeah.
But like I remember
it's so funny to think
because I remember first coming out here
getting like getting a Moscow mules all the time.
All right.
And like people were like,
that's a girl's drink.
Or that would be like a,
it would say it as a joke,
but it would be like,
oh,
and I'm like yeah,
right.
I'm sure.
I'll drink the fuck out of a lot of toast margarita.
But now it's like,
I don't think people give a shit about that.
Because like there's a drink that's like very like girly or whatever at this bar.
called the Oxford comma
and I love it dude
We're also on our third
Whatever the fuck it is I don't know what it is
I never ask
But like whatever that fucking thing is
It's yeah
Dude the culture is definitely shifted
In the way that
We're older though
If you even look at
Well let even look at culturally like say
I'm paying into the NBA again right
And when OKC won the championship
There was like a bunch of beer on the table
And they weren't drinking
Because like the younger generation
Doesn't drink as much
Yeah
And also they had to be taught by
one of the older guys how to pop
the bottle of champagne.
They're like, how do you do this?
And I'm like, because the culture of drink.
Like when we're kids,
people were fucking drinking still.
You go to a high school party or whatever.
You know how to pop a bottle.
You know how to drink what beers were good and weren't.
And they're like, oh.
And I was like, that's crazy because they're on their young,
early 20s.
What's the blue and white thing called?
The blue and white bottle?
Like a liquor?
It's a blue and white bottle of liquor.
It looks like ornate.
Liquor and white.
You have to.
It's a blue and white, like ornate looking bottle.
It doesn't really have a sign on it.
It's not.
I can't picture a blue and white.
Every hood nigger has a picture of them holding it.
A blue and white?
It has, what is it called?
This isn't real, whatever way.
You got your phone?
Because I, we're not going to.
I do, but I'm trying to remember it on my own.
I'm trying not to get used to looking things up all the time.
Yeah, I understand that, but, you know, being on a podcast.
I know.
It's like we should like not like get stuff out of it.
I'm trying to, if I remember it, I would talk about it.
But like, everyone, like,
Everyone just, I don't know.
I haven't been a drinker in a while and I just don't have the urge to do it.
So if I'm going to when I'm getting a drink, I'm getting like, I don't know.
I'm going to get like a fucking margarita, like triple shot up a margarita.
Let me drink that and get fucked up.
Margaritas, dude.
Strawberry daugree?
It's been delicious, bro.
Been delicious.
I don't think I've ever had a strawberry.
That's the best taste of alcoholic drinks.
It's like, it's like, it's one of those things where it's like, oh, girlie drinks.
I'm like, me and my friends, never, ever gave a, like.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
We used to be the guys we would stroll in with our packs of a beer, usually Budweiser,
whatever the fuck we had in Orange County.
And then, actually, sometimes we would drink 40s, like, fucking idiots.
We had a little bit of money.
Like, I was working when I was 16, and we were still buying 40s, malt liquors.
Of course.
Stupid.
It's, destroying our insides.
Anyway.
And, but then we would also roll up with the Smirnoffs, like the triple X, the fucking, the limit.
Like, we would get the soda drinks or whatever, they call, wine coolers or whatever?
We'd always have the wine coolers, too, because we're like,
these are delicious. Why the fuck would you not want a soda with alcohol in it?
Remember the smear enough ices we're popping.
You bring you bring the smir enough ice and then you would get one for it.
It's formed for a woman. I'm almost at a bitch. But I mean, but you're going for a bitch and you just
confidence her with a bitch. You know, she's drinking it's sparing and you're failing.
You're feeding it to her. You just, you just keep it.
That's crazy.
Like four of them. She's struggling and you're just.
That's crazy. Why would you?
do that?
You're spitting
game.
As soon as you see it not
being received anymore,
boom.
It's taking too long.
I felt like doing that to this
water about,
check it out.
This girl in our high school,
I hadn't seen her in a few years,
right?
And we all went to this one club.
It was one of the last clubs.
I fucking hate clubs, right?
But worst three it's ever.
We're at a club and then
they're like, oh, it's fucking
so-and-so.
First thing she says.
Hey, you want to buy me a drink?
I was like, I've seen this bitch in like years, right?
And I'm like, you fucking...
And then once I gave her a look and said, no.
You know, right?
I gave her that...
She fucking immediately like...
Could you touch my leg?
I moved my hand near my leg and I touched the nose like, oh, and I wiped the hand off.
Oh, he's breaking it.
He's like, he went to therapy and they're like,
I need you to start touching men.
That's crazy.
I know you don't like being touched, but I literally wiped my hand off.
I need you to start touching people.
Like, your therapist was like,
I need to start touching people right now.
without their consent.
The only way to get over,
you need to start touching people
with other consent.
I hate people touching me so much.
Yeah, so you went to your therapist
and he was telling you.
I haven't gone to therapy again.
Whoa, you don't say.
I haven't gone a long while.
You stopped going once you told him to get glasses.
He's like, oh yeah, whatever, dude.
I don't need people tell me what I needed.
I haven't waited years.
I should probably go back and try to go back
and give like a quick refresher.
No, no.
You don't need therapy.
You need glasses more than you need therapy.
I think I'm any therapy more than you go.
Probably glasses more.
Probably got us more, but I think therapy would help.
It would help anybody.
Therapy will help him finally get the guys.
I don't think therapy does help anybody.
It's crazy.
I genuinely don't think so.
That's a very interesting take.
I'd like to hear this.
I think there are certain people who will, who are already so self-analytical and they
understand a lot about themselves.
And I think going into a head space where you're just constantly egged on to do that
even further actually loops you into a cycle of just like not really actually making
any progress.
I think that's for somebody.
I think I've seen it happen.
I think that's for someone that.
doesn't understand therapy right or psychology right.
I don't know.
There's a reason.
Well, that's really irrelevant because that's kind of like the point.
Is that it's for people who wouldn't experience that?
Yeah.
Would therapy work for you?
Because you're self-aware, aren't you?
For the most part, yeah.
So I guess that's the thing where I've always been hesitant to.
My argument has been, let me see if I can get any value out of this.
I am someone that therapy definitely potentially saved their life.
So I would never say that like therapy is not like useful.
Oh, really?
Yeah, absolutely.
Because I did therapy for like three years and it very much so helped me.
Saved your life.
What were you going to do without therapy?
I was just angry, dude.
I was as an angry kid.
And I was just like,
he used to bash dogs against brick walls.
Now I would just fly off the handle a lot.
That's it.
It was just crazy to think about because I'm so not like that now.
But I was just, I would get you though.
We can get them there.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You'd have to harm.
You have to be harming me.
I think all I'd have to do is just stroke you a little bit.
Please stop touching me, dude.
Please don't do that.
All right.
I don't do it.
I think, look,
It awoken.
I saw it barking.
Yeah.
Awaken.
Have you seen the meme
where Piccolo gets like possessed
and the guy's holding the phone
knows that he's barking literally?
No,
not say that.
Oh my God.
You're more online
about that stuff than we're.
Yeah, just bullshit.
Yeah.
Shit up garbage.
I definitely see that more.
But it's insane.
Piccolo's barking.
Piccolo, this greed slug man
is barking like a dog
while a guy's restraining him.
I love it, dude.
I didn't remember
what the fuck we were talking about.
I don't know.
I think therapy is good for everyone,
but I think what happens is that people have to let themselves
go through the process of therapy.
I think that is the greatest problem
because people go in there,
and especially if you're an analytical person,
you go in there and you think you're going to understand yourself
better than a person that is trained to help people like you.
But you also have to find the right kind of therapy you need.
There's not everyone.
It's also a trial and error thing on therapists.
Therapists.
Absolutely too.
Because like there's a good chance.
I'm not even going to lie.
It's a pretty good chance.
Like the first like three to four therapists you get are bad.
Yeah.
Or just like not...
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata.
We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing.
Whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum,
or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together?
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM
because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things
that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline
of this technology. There will come a point
when it will mature.
Right? Yeah. My cell phone
is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with Conton?
By 2029, we'll build the first
fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one
that can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing,
visit IBM.com slash quantum.
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway.
save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season.
These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop
online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International
Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery
orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. In sync with you.
And so it's just like that, that alone is like,
And also there's the cost nature of it.
It's like, oh, fuck, man.
It's expensive.
Good therapy's expensive.
Well, for sure.
But I think that's, I think that it's still everyone, it shouldn't be.
That's what problem number one.
Sure.
It shouldn't be.
But problem number, that's the thing you have to figure out what you need.
And you have to be, I think the biggest thing is being willing.
Yeah, try it.
I think that is the biggest.
I think it's worth trying.
Well, not try.
It's just willing.
Like, willingness to go there and put yourself under a microscope.
Because if you're going to therapy.
Well, well, I thought about trying like the idea of like going from person to person.
Not so much the idea like just going there
Because it's people
They give embarrassment
That comes from people
It's always so hard to like
Disrespectful
That's why it doesn't work on him
This is like why it doesn't work on him
He goes to his sister half an hour
Like I don't know sometimes I feel weird
And the therapist is like get out
Sometimes I feel weird
Yeah sometimes I go to my therapist
And I'm just like
I'm just too embarrassed to be truthful
So I just lie
That happens to a lot of people dude
Yeah
That's most people I feel like it
I feel like it
I feel like
Most people.
It's like the whole point you're paying for.
Well,
I understand that.
You know,
I think the therapy won't work on me because I feel like the issues that I actually have
would just be solved with money.
And I'm kind of like,
yeah, that's kind of, yeah.
And I'm like, what can they,
I know what I need to do.
I'm giving you money.
Like,
you know what would actually be really great therapy if I came here and sat here for an hour
and you talked to me and then after I was done,
you gave me $350.
I think that's why it doesn't work.
For like,
for me specifically,
it's the only reason I haven't tried it yet.
because I think even though there's a part of me that's curious because maybe they will
bring something a different perspective, something I never thought about. But I'm extremely self-analytical,
like way too often. And I think that's a problem because I think you can only analyze,
we can only analyze things from the place where we have knowledge of it, you know? Sure.
So I think when we analyze, we're not, we're not scientists, you know.
Yeah. It's why I haven't shut it out because I don't think that like, oh, I, there is no
benefit. I think there is a potential, but it is a problem. I don't have.
For a while, I had free insurance.
And the, dude, I can't believe this happened.
I moved, when I moved to Vegas, I was still insured with the government insurance in California.
I was on Cal Optima.
And they never, they just kept renewing it.
I didn't know that.
And so by the time I moved back, I missed it by a fucking month.
They're like, hey, you need to like just reapply or say whatever.
And I was like, I thought I had this shit gone as soon as I fucking applied for new insurance.
in Nevada.
I thought, so I missed the window
and I reapplied and then immediately
they're like, no, you don't qualify this anymore.
And then I, and then my, everything's worse.
But like, dude, I've been trying to,
first of all, the insurance that I selected
doesn't even work on urgent cares.
And they're like, go to the emergency room
and pay $100 fucking co-pay.
Crazy.
I was just like, oh, that's pay out of pocket for insurance.
I do that shit.
I was just like, I did, you know,
I just, I pay my premium.
I don't have a deductible.
the one that I selected.
But again, I've also,
the network here is so fucked in this area.
Brother, I've been trying to see a urologist for months.
I've three different referrals.
The first one,
no luck.
Second one, I tried calling for almost a month.
Just get over.
Leaving messages.
Basically, I had to wail my,
my situation to just be better.
Yeah, it works.
I willed it.
That's the problem with the met.
My pee pee hurts, but I'm good.
That's the medical problems, dude.
I'm trying to think of how to word this.
Have ever had the issue of having a therapist
where it's just like, oh, this is an attractive person?
I can't be, I can't talk to this person.
Yeah, I had an attractive therapist once
and I was like, I can't do this.
Why?
Well, what did that?
I can't do it because I'm like, I'm immediately like.
Because you're trying to impress them instead of just being there.
I don't want to be honest with you about my problems.
That's so fucking crazy.
That is, that is why.
That is literally why.
That is why.
I immediately canceled.
I was like, this is not going to work.
I actually feel, this is weird.
I feel more comfortable with attractive people to like talking because I feel like they,
they like, there's such a weird barrier to where it's, it's, it kind of feel, I feel,
I feel more embarrassed to tell somebody that's like more on my level because it feels
more like, oh, you, you're not looking at this analytically.
You're only here.
This attractive person's only here because they actually care about their job versus
Right.
Somebody that's on the level that may want to tell my business to somebody because I feel like these people don't actually give a fuck about me.
This is so weird.
You guys are so weird.
I need somebody who like is so ugly that they would startle me in the daytime.
I think I think it's really interesting.
I literally for me I was I had a hot therapist.
I went to her.
It was like it was it was like maybe a year and a half.
I went to her.
Then she moved.
She changed her practice.
She went somewhere else.
And then I had like, no, I didn't.
I wish I did.
I wish I fucking did
That's great
This is it already the problem
You know what I mean
I wish I did
But I miss her so much
But then I had a
I had a witcher
I had a black male
Like a young girl
Not super young
But he was probably in his 30s
By the time
What do you want
Nigger
Now he was actually a cool dude
He was a cool dude
He was also
He was also a freaking
What's called Caribbean dude as well
So he was able to reflect
Like
So you just talking like
Batty Man and all that shit
He wasn't
He wasn't my dad
My dad
My dad's nervous to be insane
But he was
It was good talking to somebody
But like I think
it's, you have to be willing to open yourself up. Yeah. Because I'm very, I'm not willing. I'm not a very like,
I'm forthcoming about myself so I don't really mind talking to people about shit. It's like,
whatever. Especially I'm going there. I'm spending thousands of dollars me to be there. So I was like,
whatever. I'll go and I went and I spoke to him. He helped me out a lot with a lot of shit. And I,
thank him for it. Do you ever ask you to take your pants off? No, he had he didn't. Thank God.
That age of me, I would have tried to fucking fight. He would have been mad. He was a grown ass man.
And I was like 17 at best.
He would have beat the fuck out of me.
But I would have been like,
you never do anything or did you suppress anything?
Did you suppress anything?
I mean, if I suppressed, I was impressed it.
Well,
I don't think I have any.
You ever wonder,
you ever wonder about that?
You don't wonder why simply being touched scares you?
I know why.
I know why I don't like being touched.
Oh, like.
Did you ever explain why?
I'm not gonna.
Oh.
Wow.
That's crazy.
I guess I don't want to know.
I don't like people touching me.
That's it.
I don't like people being near.
me in general because I bet it's a really funny story
it's probably probably
I mean it might be funny to me
even like laughing that I shouldn't be laughing
kind of thing no oh
like just straight up
I got sadly molested by my football team
Nickelodeon just they could be on Nickelodeon
it was savage by whole football
team god damn my 30
fucking 30 you know at least
20 something people that's crazy
holy crap
your fucking your fucking
coach oh was the coach's
fucking watched and joy
that he had.
Here's something.
Here's something.
The first church of Keith David
wrote in.
The first church of Keith David presents
Andrew Cuomo and something.
I don't know.
These names cut out when I'm reading the questions.
Deal with it.
This is a matter of great importance.
The community
demands to know if
Sweeney's tooth gap is sizable enough for
Chris to see when he's not wearing glasses.
Thanks for addressing this matter.
Before the void.
between Swin's Teeth grows big enough to consume us all.
I definitely can't see it.
Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbeta.
We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,
whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI,
coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how.
how do different accelerators go together?
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM
because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things
that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
Right?
Yeah.
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with Quantum?
By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.
That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway.
Ready to save.
It's time for Cyberde.
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Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only.
Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions.
I assure you that I can't see it.
Why are y'all coming after my tooth gap like is that crazy?
It really isn't. It's not really that. I don't think about it until they bring it up. I have one, but like it's not that crazy. I've seen way crazier. And to me like I see you from the side. So because they're like like it all right. It always looks like your teeth are completely normal and you're not fucked from my perspective. Oh my God. My teeth are very aligned other than my gap. Other than my gap, my teeth are very, very aligned. Would you be willing to file your tooth gap? What does that?
gonna do. Would you be able to make it bigger? Would you be willing to make your
two front incisors, your two front teeth narrow? Yeah. No. Why not? Like sticks. No. Why? Why not?
No. But why? I just don't want to. I think I like this that I have now with my teeth. Curious.
Yeah. There's no way, but there's no way. Like, I'm pretty, first of all, even if it was pretty
prominent, I would think I would be able to see it with that. I love I had like primate fucking
fangs. That'd be hilarious. Just a scale. Just a scale. Just a scale.
the fuck out of somebody.
I would consider doing that.
Scare the shit out of, like really filing it.
I wish I had my fangs still.
Well, no, like, when I was a kid, they were nicely defined.
Yeah.
I lost the right one.
It's not jagging anymore.
Blah.
It's not jagging anymore.
It's not shard no more.
Fucking dumb.
I got my wisdoms pulled out a couple years ago, whatever.
But this one fucked up this side of my bottom jaw.
Because my teeth were perfect.
And then they just started fucking.
And I was like, yo, what the fuck's like on this side?
Oh shit.
It completely ruined.
I was like, yo, what the fuck?
Did the doctor walk up to and he was like, oh, okay, I'm going to take your teeth on.
You're like, all, cool.
He took his dick out and slapped the side of your face.
Busted out your wisdom teeth.
Dude, well, I didn't, when I got my first wisdom tooth pulled out because I got the other,
I did the last three, I did just one.
Because the guy said, do you want to do all of them or just the one that because one was broken and it was fucked?
And I was like, just do one.
I don't want to do four at the same.
That's crazy.
So he didn't just numb me, didn't put me down.
This motherfucker, I wonder what he does when people are sedated because he was putting his fist into my face to get leverage at one point.
And I was fucking bruised.
And I was like, bro.
So if I, he was, that was probably him taking it easy.
You know what I would have to rock your shit if you were sleeping?
He probably would have just.
Him like looking for the perfect place until he pressed a triangle.
He's doing haymakers.
He's getting running starts.
You're dreaming.
It's like you change the channel your dreams.
You're in a different place of your dream.
Would that happen if you got,
if you managed to stay asleep while being assaulted,
not sexually.
Yeah.
But like you're punched in the head while you were asleep
and you managed to stay asleep.
Would that like completely jostle your dream?
I feel like it would, right?
That's a good question.
I think it, yes.
It's not possible to imagine, though.
I think it absolutely would have to.
It's also so impossible to question, too.
Yeah.
You know, it's like, well.
I guess like in surgery, if you're like under anesthetic because you do dream kind of.
I didn't dream the one time I was under surgery.
I did not dream at all.
I feel like I dreamed.
I was in the abyss.
Maybe I did.
Maybe I misremembering.
I don't remember it.
I feel like I heard a bunch of shit going on.
Because I remember waking up and I, you know.
I didn't wake up in the middle of it while they were like sucking you off or something?
Yeah.
I heard suck that niggas dick twice now.
And who's like, there's only guys in this room.
No.
No.
Hey, go back to sleep.
Yeah, I woke up for the...
Go back to sleep.
Pop!
I woke up for like a second.
Right before you're completely out again,
you just hear some mad sucking noises.
You're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
It's only dudes in here.
Frank Castle fading.
There's a...
It's crazy that's a Seinfeld episode
where there's a whole subplot of that NBC.
He said God where he's like, I think I got molester
at the dentist.
That's real.
And Brian Cranston is the guy who does it.
Oh, yeah, it is.
Right.
I do remember hearing that.
Yeah, yeah.
Insane.
Have you guys seen the trailer for Odyssey?
Oh, from, uh, not really Scott.
Odyssey, what do you mean?
Like Odyssey 2?
Like Odyssey, like Odyssey Homer?
Oh, no, I have no.
It's coming out like really soon.
Yeah, three days.
Like really, I think actually in August or something.
Oh, no, August's next year.
Oh, it's next.
It's next year.
It looks good
Berthal's in it
And he's aggressive
And he's aggressive
He's doing he's what are you doing
Homer
What are you doing Homer?
He's a really good fucking
Homer's not even like
He's like fourth walling it
Yeah
He's like what do you do it?
Homer's like what the fuck
What do I create?
I didn't write this
I'm scared
Odysseus
It's Odysseus and the
Punisher
And the Punisher
I love that story
It's really fucking
Yeah, I mean, it looks like it could be good, maybe.
Let's go, Greek.
Where are we going, Greek?
We got to get him to the Greek.
Get him to the Greek.
Let's go kill some Cyclops.
It's Greek.
Your name's nobody Greek.
Whatever, Ed.
The Cyclops, like, trying to kill him.
He takes a shotgun out blows its head off.
And then the sidecops are like, bro, what the fuck?
What is that?
What is that?
I'm going.
I'm going.
I would, that would be my favorite fucking movie of all time.
I want people to do shit like that.
Yeah, why don't we enslaved giants?
It's like mods like
The World War II Mod and SkyRids
Yeah slavery
Oh yeah
Slavery Mawr
You ever in the Maud Slavery into every game
Mod Slavery in the BG3
Fucking enslave all the Gmbuds
Instead of killing
I'm enslaved them
I'm not into
Grand Tourismo
It's just slaves everywhere
Just doing
I really love playing Grand Tourismo
Because I get
I use the slavery mod
And I enslave people
Yeah
I take them out their cars
They're barely designed out the car.
I just have seen you can see their hands.
And I make them go till the field.
What do you think would be the most egregious game to put a slavery mod in?
Civilization.
No, it fits too well already, though.
It slots in.
Yeah, I guess.
I mean, I guess egregious, what would have fucking math blaster?
You know, like what?
Like a game with that.
One slave minus two slaves.
But there's mass there, you know?
Like, there's like math learning.
You could kind of learn how to, much a slave cost.
It's not like that.
It's going to fuck the way.
So every answer is wrong.
But like,
I don't know what you want.
I'm trying to think of a game where it just has no place.
Like,
why are they're slaves?
Like you're playing Donkey Kong,
fucking 64,
and they're slaves.
Wow.
There we go.
I like that.
I feel like that's a little too close.
Slaves in a Nintendo game's good.
Like Blinks to Mindweeper.
I was going to say Oddworld,
but that game is slaves.
Like Blinks to Timesweeper where you're like run into slaves.
Like African slaves.
Like photo real estate,
Unreal Engine,
Unreal Engine,
Unreal Engine 5 African slaves.
He's like,
in the middle of fucking
Vib ribbon or something.
That'd be great.
These are really slaves.
Parap of the Rapa?
Nah,
it's too close, you know?
Is it?
DDR.
It's too intangential.
DDR.
You make,
you make,
you gotta fight slave.
It's like one long-ass song
and then you start fighting slaves
throwing it.
He takes a break and he makes a slaves come.
You're dancing to wade in the water.
Oh, man.
It's just slavery songs.
That sucks.
It has to be a Stepmania pack where there's slavery time.
There's definitely a fucking guitar hero pack with like slave hymns.
Yeah.
For sure.
Everything is officially licensed, of course.
Fucking Activision.
Fuck you Activision.
There's slaves and like what?
Yeah, well, they have.
Just Doomfist.
Yeah.
This Doomfist and Pharaoh.
I only know, uh, the, the, the, um, Baptiste.
Who's that chick?
Diva, diva.
Diva?
Yeah.
Diva, Winston.
Winston's a slave.
Churchill?
Stop.
He's like, I'm a gorilla.
Oh, yeah, no shit.
I don't know.
Sure.
You're probably from Compton, too.
Who's the hamster?
There's a hamster in that game again, right?
Hammond.
Hammond?
Yeah, of course it is.
They're all dumb.
All their names are dumb.
Some niggas named Doomfiths.
He has a big arm.
Oh, Doomfist is pretty cool.
His name is Doomfist and he has a big arm.
It's a little, yeah.
There's a Haitian named Baptiste,
which is the most common.
Haitian name ever literally.
I see, they're just not.
I mean, this game's from where?
Who made this game?
Blizzard.
I know it's Blizzard, but like, was it not like,
it's American developed?
Oh, it's American developed?
American developed, but very Asian.
Okay.
Very Asian inspired.
That's why I felt like it was like maybe a subsidiary of somebody.
Because that sounds like rivals.
Rivals is technically an Asian name, but it's in those are all American characters,
you know?
Yeah.
But that is, yeah, that's the company.
What's the company called?
The Chinese company, though.
The Singaporean, I think.
Oh, are they?
I thought they were, I thought they were China.
Whatever.
Oh, really?
Singaporean.
I thought it was China.
Oh,
I fucking...
I mean...
Most Singaporeans are Chinese.
Effectively.
Are they?
Effectively is here.
I literally don't know.
I got...
I hope I got come inside both my switches.
Roden.
Came in the switches?
Yeah.
Says, hello little guys.
Since Kingston continues to claim he is a good person.
And not usually petty.
I just want to bring up that he once said that on his last day at Starbucks,
he made a tower of boxes in a way that any...
slight movement would topple the whole thing and spill cups and utensils on the ground
so the rest of the employees who have to pick up after him this this was a while ago and I don't
know if he made that up or not but it really stuck with me all these years it's funny is that true
uh yeah it sounds true because the way he laughed he's like it does sound yeah wasn't my last day
it was a day I was working there uh it was just like a bullshit day fucking people called out and then
my bot manager had to nerve to yell at me even though I came in on one of my days off and I was
like, oh, cool.
And I was already out the store.
I was like, I'm leaving now.
So, but it was the Starbucks in New York.
Because I fucking, oh, God, I hated working at Starbucks in New York.
That's crazy.
So you just got a job at Starbucks and walked in when you moved over here?
Yeah, I walked over.
I came over with a job.
Oh, it's great.
I didn't work for a month.
That's what fucking severely fucked the money for me because I came here.
They're like, oh, we're going to have you working.
And then I got here, I'm like, oh, we made the schedule for a month and you can't do it.
And I was like, what?
I was like, insane.
It's crazy.
Dude, that shit happens, man.
I was like, why?
I said, people jostled human beings around like they're nothing.
It's insane.
And what makes it sad is that the manager, I know the manager was a good person.
Actually, relatively far as a pretty manager, he was actually a good dude.
What happened is at that very moment corporate started putting their hands and stuff like that way.
We have to know exactly how many hours are going this way.
We can't have this many hours being spent.
Because they care about how many hours are spent.
Not how much efficient the work is done.
Like they can't.
Like they can't pay people.
These billion dollar corporations.
I know.
It's so crazy, dude.
Like I look back on those times.
I'm just like, yo, what?
What the fuck?
Yeah.
The borderline slave wages that people would work for you.
I'm trying to figure out how to, you know,
with all the revenue that we have coming in,
how I can keep 98% of it.
You guys 1% each.
Yeah, that would be so unfortunate.
And you know, like, it's like, oh.
You got some sort of clause that minds it.
I'm like, when did you do this, Derek?
You know, I got to run doing it.
I had you sign a piece.
I drugged you, made you sign a piece of paper, and then fucking beat you up for half an hour.
After they signed, you still beat him up.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
Anyway, so that stuck with him.
He also talks to a girl he knew named Kayla on the show that made fun of her for being a single mother just because she didn't like him in high school.
I remember that.
Oh, fuck.
Fuck that bitch.
I remember that.
Fuck that bitch.
I remember that.
That was funny.
I don't feel bad.
I don't feel bad for that.
She was terrible to me.
She was just a bad lay, right?
I never fucked her.
I fucked her.
I fucked her.
Count how many times Kingston said I don't feel bad.
About that thing that he probably should feel bad.
I don't feel bad about it.
That's worth an hour.
That's an hour worth of content.
I think that's more of the show than there is show.
I will stand on this.
I will apologize if I feel bad for something.
I was not mean to that girl at all.
I really don't think I'm a mean person.
I think I very often try to be nice.
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna.
And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business?
My one advice to that, pick areas you can scale.
Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side.
For example.
If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago,
they're already five years behind it.
If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today,
with the goal of being 70% more productive.
Yeah.
Wow.
So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it.
We say you can leverage what we did.
We're happy to bring out all our learnings,
including what needs to change in the process,
because the biggest change is not technology,
is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things.
To listen to the full conversation,
visit IBM.com slash smart talks.
Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway.
It's stockup savings time now through March 31st.
for store-wide deals and earn four times of points.
Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius,
body armor, or Aida, silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin.
Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings.
Stack up those rewards to save even more.
Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up
and go pick up or delivery.
Restrictions apply.
See website for full terms and conditions.
But when people are just dicks for no reason, I cannot feel bad.
for you getting your
your deserving.
I can't.
I just simply cannot.
I think if there's an unfortunate situation
that leads people to like,
like, let's say
more Lord's Reveal
and she had like a really tough
home life.
I'm like,
I feel bad about your,
your home life
that led you to this point.
But I don't feel bad for you
getting your co-ups
or doing some fuck shit.
Sorry, bro.
Too often I've been like,
you know what?
I'm sorry.
Nah, fuck that, dude.
I spent all of my 20s doing that.
People could die for all I care.
Fuck you, Kayla.
You stupid bitch.
Fuck you.
Damn.
I'm glad to me
that he's probably dead
She was a fucking top tier patron idiot
Oh no
Oh no
She actually was all of our $25 in a patron
Every single one
So now we're not gonna read the names
With that money with that money
You should have a fucking guy
You got another dad
That's crazy
I hope somebody tracks her down
And shows her this clue
I don't give them
I really kick hair less
I hate that woman so much
No I don't
I just I'm just being
I'm handing it up.
I didn't like her though at all when I was younger though.
She was a bitch.
You want to kill her.
Nah, she's not worth it.
Just be honest, you want to kill her.
She's not worth it.
You want to skin her alive.
Not worth it.
You're planning.
She's not worth me not going to have it.
She's not worth it.
All right.
Anyway, I pick this one.
Maybe Sandusky.
I tried to read this while I was paying attention.
I just didn't have it.
I'm just going to read it and see if it's good.
Nigelis Brillhart wrote.
He says, greetings you uneducated swine.
It annoys me every time this comes up,
but there's no heart.
and fast rules on how many F-bombs you can have in a PG-13 movie.
2019's Where'd You Go Burnadette is PG-13 and it features two uses of the word fuck in the same scene.
The same is true of nudity.
Wes Anderson's Asteroid City features a full frontal nude scene with Scarlet Johansson.
Interesting.
I have not seen Asteroid City.
I've seen it.
It's not bad.
Was she naked, actually?
It's not that.
It's not what he's describing.
It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, well, his description sounds way better than what you actually see.
It's, it's very, it's underwhelming.
You see tits?
Look, man, she has, she has professional photos that you'd enjoy better, is what I'm saying.
I see.
Yeah, just go a little bit.
Because her tits have been out before.
I've already seen a hit's enough show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
Anyway.
Yeah.
Um, so what do you say about like, is, Asteroid's, is it?
It wasn't even done, though.
It's still PG-13.
The only real rule seems to be neither can be used sexually.
So no motherfucker or go fuck yourself and the like.
I'll hang up my Epstein and listen.
So as far as if you look at, say, just the,
it almost feels like an unwritten rule.
I don't know if it's actually a literal rule,
but that's just how it typically is.
I don't know if it's a literal thing.
It's like safety guidelines for YouTube
where it's just like you shouldn't curse in the first two minutes.
But maybe you can.
Yeah.
Like, it really all depends on whether or not you get caught or, like, who is, you know, observing it and, like, which kind of interpretation people are going to take from it.
So I think more people are, more people operate under the assumption that, like, hey, if we do this, it'll probably get nicked.
Let's just avoid having to recut and re-edit and reshoot.
Let's just air on the safe side and just go by the generally understood rule where this is allowed once.
Yeah.
And leave it at that.
Yeah.
Yeah, I understand that too.
And yeah, so when it comes to that, and first of all, I don't even know why that would upset guy or why it would bother him about that.
Because I don't think it's, it's traditionally just go check out a PG-13 film and you're probably going to hear fuck one time.
Yeah.
For whatever reason.
It's even to the point where they made fun of that on South Park by using the word shit because it was like the same type of principle.
Like, oh, they're going to say shit on the cop drama.
whatever.
And the way they say,
150 times.
Yeah, throughout the thing, which
I love the way that they used it
on the cop drama though, because they're waiting for it.
And it was just so
inconsequential, where he was just like, oh, hey, man.
Oh, by the way, you got some shit on your mouth.
And he's like, oh, okay, thanks.
And then that's it.
They're like, wow.
So fucking funny.
So dumb.
It's a great episode.
Yeah, it is.
It made Timmy say it.
Anyway.
Oh, he actually, like, shit.
What is the last one?
Lizard rode in.
He says, hey, fellas.
Did you see Dean with him?
There's freak out about an anxiety pen, which sounds fake as hell.
I have anxiety and it's half a retardant.
But more importantly, him doxing and threatening CPS on someone during a debate, I did see this.
I did see, uh, see, uh, see, I don't know the details of that, but I did see a little bit of it.
I saw a video of him freaking out about like, it's my anxiety, it's my anxiety pen.
What's he talking about it?
What the fuck is it in anxiety?
Like a thizzy?
I really don't know.
Like a little fidgety thing, you fidgets with it?
Is that what you mean?
No, I think it's like a vape or something.
Oh, is it like, the, like, the, what?
fume or fume or whatever?
Maybe I don't know.
That shit is such a big problem
in a young community.
It's fucking crazy.
Are they all vapist?
Vaping?
Vaping is a big fucking problem.
So that's what they're all doing
instead of drinking.
Is they're vaping.
Actually.
That is true.
When I went to the
It's crazy to me.
When I went to a doctor,
because they usually ask
like, do you smoke or drink?
That's all they always ask
when they're doing the triage.
They'll be able to smoke a drink.
And then they ask, do you vape?
And I was like, oh, that's weird.
I never heard the last that before.
Like, well,
not.
Not openly.
Not openly.
I vape on the deal.
I don't think you need to know that.
Are you going to have some fun here or what?
Yeah,
no,
but I did,
I did see this.
I don't know what an anxiety pen is.
I'm not a vape person.
Like,
I just don't,
I'm not a vape person.
I'm not really even.
I'm not even really a smoker,
really.
Like,
I like a cigar every now and again
for like a special occasion.
And weed,
I would prefer to do through gummies
because it's just like,
I just want to relax and just chill.
But,
yeah,
vap's never really.
The process of inhaling something into my lungs
has never felt like anything that,
Anything that is in air
shouldn't be in my lungs
is kind of how I feel about it.
When I was using drugs,
I hated gummies
because I feel like I would get
too high from it.
Melatonin, they have a caffeine.
What are you talking about the vapes?
Yeah, so I'm looking at these anxiety pins.
Is this real?
What the fuck is?
This is so stupid, man.
He was freaking out about
like somebody making fun of it or something.
Yeah, I would do.
I would make fun of it too.
Yeah, me too, yeah.
Because, like, I feel like, I know what these people are, the people that made the anxiety pin.
They're the people that are always trying to corner a market, right?
Oh, yeah.
They're like, oh, what hasn't existed yet?
What can we sell to people?
And they're like, oh, I can't believe it's never been done before.
Yeah, it's never been done for it because it's stupid.
You could just fucking relax with plenty of other products on the market.
Yeah, it's like, oh, an entire generation raised by overstimulation and stressed out beyond their fucking wildest dreams.
Yeah.
I see a market opportunity here.
100%.
Like you can, there's, there's melatonin pills.
If you want to just take a piece of it to mell yourself out.
There's plenty of things you can do already.
There's drinks.
There's alcohol.
There, you know, just a mild amount of something.
You don't got to get fucking drunk.
Exactly.
Many of things that already exist.
So like the idea of like, oh, I, the ditty pin.
I'm like, it's the same thing that people that got a fidget spinner that, you know,
there were people that had fidgety things before.
Right.
Because they actually had issues.
Good.
Then other people.
I only bought one because it was a Captain America Shield
I was like that's cool
Oh the fidget smear?
Yeah I was like it's a captain America
Those things were fucking everywhere for a minute
For a minute
It's kind of crazy like that shit was like
Pokemon Go for like a solid like a year and a half
Or something like I could not go anywhere
Without seeing those things
That's what's gonna happen with these anxiety pins
They're gonna be flashing a pan
I think it's like what I don't know man
I don't have the curse of being downed with anxiety
So ADHD Phid Fitit Pinsels
So for me it's
like if any if it helps people function i guess whatever you know if it helps give them any
form of solace like i just by all means have it yeah fine like it's just to me it's just like
it's just like it's just like it's just like it's just like it's such strange because like for it to
specifically be an anxiety pin yeah what i mean like that's wild i think it's crazy him having
anxiety sort of being a debater is fucking crazy the idea of that he hates himself that's crazy
he must clearly hate himself it's like i don't i don't like i don't like fucking i hate the con
The idea of even doing such a thing.
Yeah, in no way.
It's annoying.
They're not fun.
I can imagine it.
I think debates would be fun if they were like actually like attentive moderators.
If people didn't suck really.
Like real moderators.
Well, no, well, they wouldn't be fun.
That's kind of the problem is that they are fun now.
They're just fun.
That's all it is.
Do you want them to be fun or informative?
You got to choose one.
Because I think a debate would be, I don't know.
From my brain, I think debates should be like, for the reason you should get to like a sort of a middle ground of a green.
So you want them to be fun
But niggas shouldn't just be lying
Or informative
I think it'd be fun
Having people get caught in their lies
I think that should be fun
Like someone says some wild shit
The debate or dumb
The moderators like
That is not true
But that's what all modern debates are
It's like people trying to get each other
So he wants you want in a real time
A moderator that will not
Move past a subject
Oh yeah no
Like no like that's not true
You are you are you
It's a tally
He's like every time he lies
He puts a finger up
We should do an entire episode
Another one again
We should do an entire episode
where like every shot is a close up.
That's fucking crazy.
Just like
I like the rush extreme close up.
I like the Russian frame.
That'd be funny.
The what?
See anything?
The frame rushes into you like fucking horror movies.
Oh, like.
That's so annoying.
Nobody would watch that episode.
They would see the first like few minutes of it.
They'd be like, oh, it's funny.
And then they would turn it off and go listen to the audio.
I'm going to fuck this whole thing out.
Mr. President
What are you going to do
About everybody being so dumb and gay?
Oh, that's as far as it goes
I don't know why I'm gay
So I don't know what to say to that
I don't know
I'm gay as well
Mr. President
I too far
It too
It used to be right here
Yeah
I was like
Huh
Yeah I don't know
Well I guess it's because I'm further to
I try to move it in a way
That like your
Your frame wouldn't
Get cut off
Yeah
We gotta get a
I got to just do it.
I think I have two.
I just got to bring one.
Now none of this looks right.
This is good.
We're about to leave anyway, whatever.
Yeah.
Do we answer the question?
I think, I don't.
I don't remember what it was.
Three.
What was it?
Thanks for coming.
Two?
I don't know what they're going on.
I genuinely don't remember.
Thanks for coming, everybody.
He said, he was the one that said,
did he bring up Dean Withers?
Yeah, yeah.
I guess it was just a bring up thing.
It was more of a statement.
Good old Dean.
Yeah, I mean,
it's the best we got I guess
Which is crazy
I saw another one of those young dumb kids
With a name
You know two name Dean Withers
They have their name
That's their YouTube channel
And then they have a fucking suit on and shit
Like a liberal fuck
Like I saw another one
I was like bro
I don't we talk about this before
And I'm like bro
Guys if you want to get into YouTube right now
If you're mildly interested in politics
Just wear a suit
First last name wear a suit
Your algorithm's gonna pick you up
Because I saw another one
That's like doing incredibly well
And I'm like this is stupid
It is insane.
Just I don't I don't know how safe of a of a thing it is. Yeah
Yeah. Well, Paul is just the thing now, but like I don't know man. I couldn't I couldn't do it
I can't do it. Chris Withers
Chris Withers. Chris Wither's Chris Ray. Chris Ray. Chris, it's got to be it's got to sound like
Raymond. Raymond is better. It's got to sound like a real last name because then I think
the algorithm will pick you up. I do Raymond Christoff or something. Do it and then just
there go. There you go. It'll be rebranded blazer on your fucking your profile picture.
Yeah. And then.
I have pictures in.
suits. Oh, there you go. He's one of those.
If you're like, oh, this guy, he's... I couldn't do it, man. He's serious.
This is a serious fucking person.
I can't stand that. I hate people that fucking wear suit that normally don't wear suits that are
trying to pretend like, oh, I'm a fucking guy.
Like, get the fuck out of you. I hate wearing shoes. I feel suppressed.
I like a suit. I actually do genuinely like suits. I just, uh, if I wasn't fat, I would
enjoy suits. Same. That's, that's probably what it is on this. That's, that's fundamental to
what it is actually. Yeah, because he just doesn't end up looking like King Ping kind of.
It doesn't fit.
Yeah, if I had a custom, like, King, because Kingpin hides it well.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, like, I need, like, good tailoring shit, too.
And I don't have, I want to look like Spiderverse, uh, Kingpin where my head's in the middle of my chest.
You get tailored to somehow they, yeah, they add, they add like a shoulder pad that goes over the back of my head and like two feet high.
That's actually kind of dope.
See, I would do that.
If somebody, see, I need somebody to buy me.
Yeah, somebody hook, somebody hook us up.
One of the Kingpin suit creators.
Please.
of which of course exists.
Yeah.
Anyway.
You zoom me back?
Yeah, it was pissing me off.
Okay.
You want me to zoom you guys back too?
If you want.
If you want.
Yeah, just zoom it out all the way, in fact.
Make us mega small.
Yeah, no problem.
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata.
We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM research, what we always do is answer.
what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with
better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
Right?
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with Conton?
By 2029, we'll build the first Volt-tolerant quantum computer.
That is one that can run a very, very, very,
large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com
slash quantum.
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway.
It's stockup savings time now through March 31st.
Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points.
Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor,
ORAIDA, Silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meats, and Charmin.
Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings.
Stack up those rewards to save even more.
Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pick up or delivery.
Restrictions apply.
See website for full terms and conditions.
The opposite down.
Yeah.
There we go.
I like that shot.
Yeah, there we go.
Now we're talking.
That was a wide angle.
Look at we can see.
You can see all the.
You know what this is, this is IMAX.
That's crazy.
The Stark Tank and IMAX.
You can see all the sausages.
being made.
Yeah, guys.
It's a fucking stupid sneak peek
that nobody asked for
and no one cares.
Yeah, no one gives a fuck
about a studio.
Yeah.
Anyway, we're gonna read
our $25.00 enough patrons now.
Remember, you can go over
to patreon.com slash
as Darkank if you want to
fucking see some of that.
Do it.
Yeah, do it.
Do it right the fuck now.
You can make me say
whatever you want.
Even if I,
even if I really don't want to.
You too, Brutee.
You too.
E2.
E2.
Pienish T.
Amazing.
Three, two, one.
The OG queen of ASMR whispers Anne, Anne Frank.
The dead spider.
I would hurt a fly, and I would piss on its corpse.
The man so Jewish, he haggles with an ATM,
rape, getting my dick sucked by an elephant drunk,
sissy-crissey-pissy bean filling sweet with hot cream,
Delta Gamma, easing myself onto an upright Wii remote.
Literally fed this toddler last week,
why is it still crying?
Squimp is bugs
Clamule Esquire the third
Usur or Guildmaster
Columorriardy
Trump reading
She spat out
Do green eggs and ham
Why is NYC
Lingo so sexually charged
Is it?
I don't feel like
It's particularly sexually charged
I feel like we're not
The people to ask
Anymore really anymore
Too.
Yeah, what like
Dead ass?
Yeah, dead ass I guess
This is really seeming
Bing Bong
Bing Bong
Classic New York slang
We're not
We're not
We're not
I'm not
I'm fucking
No not you
You haven't really.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
I lived in the city for years.
Kingston,
do you don't even like it
and you haven't been back?
I mean,
I went back like three years ago.
Oh,
three years ago.
But like,
but that's also.
That's,
you understand how long that is?
But think of it like this.
There's a difference, right?
There's been between.
Quite a bit?
Because I talk to my family from New York
all the time too that are in the city proper.
Cool.
And they kind of have different accents,
but they don't really,
like,
I'm not talking about them in lingo.
I'm just talking about shit.
They're like,
whatever,
this or that.
they're not like saying like
I don't know my heart is like a
fucking new modern thing people say
mud people say mud now
but that's kind of old too I heard that long time ago
I just don't know man I feel like most New York slang is just
I don't feel like it's particularly sexual charges the whole point
of what I'm saying yeah I can't think of anything
yeah yeah
we're also not around slang speakers from that area
I think that's the biggest thing we just don't we're not
my cousins are very fucking in that space
I'm going to
With the mortar
Come in good men and twinks
Col and Moriarty
Two rats in a trench coat
Sam Porter bitches
The power to make someone rotate
180 degrees upside down
In an instant
Um
You would kill people
Yeah they'd kill people
They'd break their neck
Yeah I guess
He just land
He didn't break his neck
He didn't break his neck
He didn't break his neck
Later
That would be a really
fucking powerful ability actually.
It would.
You did that to the president once.
He's probably done.
He's like, what, 79?
Ugh.
Ah!
Fuck.
Fuck.
I'm gonna get, man.
I forgot about that.
I'm gonna come.
I'm gonna come.
Jizzy Quizzy, Tovey Moldo,
the DS Picto Chet molester.
Fuck.
Ew.
I think you, dude.
Dude, you have bang it's got to be so
crazy.
It's got to be disgusting.
He's got to be so pathetic.
You got to rip his catheter out.
Do you remember when
this was like a
clip of him passing by
Melania and she made the
like most grotesque
like she,
it was like she got hit in the face
with a shovel of shit.
It's basically the face she made.
And I'm like,
he can't smell that bad.
It probably smells that bad.
It's crazy.
He probably just hates him.
That's it.
He probably shits up his
back all the time.
He just puts the blazer on so nobody can see it. He puts the
blazer on so nobody can see. I don't want anybody
seeing my shit covered back.
So I wear this blazer even when
it's crazy hot. President
Trump, do you think it would
be a better idea to just clean
the shit off of you?
No.
You're fired.
You're fired. You're telling me what to do.
I don't like being told what to do.
Yeah. Now, if you'll excuse me, and he lands on his back
and he slides away.
Like a snail
Fucking Ocean Man's playing
As soon as a fucking camera
He just one frame
He's up
That would be so much
Body control
He would be the single most
Impressive athlete on the face of the earth
That's magic
That's not
That's something
You can't stand like that
Take me to the land
Something something
Yeah
Ocean Man
I'm here to talk about tariffs
It like spouts
Dude some people
It will never not be fucking entertaining
To imagine people shitting up their backs dude
Like there's something so
It's something so viscerally disgusting
Seeing a baby shut up their back and shit in their own hair
Is the funniest thing I think ever
Getting shitting your own hair is crazy
When you throw the baby in the trash
Your hair is bleeds
From your own shit
Oh, I pissed my glasses
Ah
It's crazy
Fuck
There's shit in your hair
Berserberrault
You're eating a skunk
You throw the person in the trash can
When they do that
Once it happens
You gotta throw them in the trash can
Backboard
Go me
Goby
How many
Does he throw his clothes away
he probably auctions every suit off
I shat all over this
so he's like oh my God
Presidential shit
Oh my god
Ew
Ew
Somebody gets it
Cleans it off
It's cleaner than detergent could ever make it
It is true
It is truly clean
Like clean in a true sense
It's so clean it goes up in value
Like it goes up in value
Hello
Hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna,
and I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business?
My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale.
Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side.
For example.
If anybody has more than 10% of what they have,
had for customer service 10 years ago,
they're already five years behind.
If anybody is not using AI to make their developers
who write software 30% more productive today,
with the goal of being 70% more productive.
Yeah, wow.
So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it.
We say, you can leverage what we did.
We're happy to bring out all our learnings,
including what needs to change in the process,
because the biggest change is not technology,
is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things.
To listen to the full conversation,
visit IBM.com slash smart talks.
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway.
Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals.
Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season.
These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products
are only available when you shop online.
Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker,
Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select.
Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only.
Restrictions apply.
See website for full terms and conditions.
After being shot on.
Amazing.
I'm going to need that back.
I should hire you to link all this shit off my back.
Come here and lick this shit straight off my back then.
Oh my God.
It's a lifetime.
It's a dream come true.
I get to lick this shit off his back.
Oh my God.
Oh, my God.
Finally.
Finally.
My purpose.
Yeah.
Start licking.
Never speak again.
Your name is shit lick now.
Shit lick.
I need you to follow me everywhere because I shit my back every 10 minutes.
Uh-oh.
Here comes another guy's here.
Here comes another one.
Every 10 minutes.
Ah!
It really hurts it.
Oh, it hurts.
Yeah, it's fucking like acid.
It's like a little.
It's fucking.
And this guy's gosom.
We gosgling it down.
Eh.
Ah.
Oh.
Jesus
Now where were we
Anyway back to ruling
Berserker
Beatles big bouncing backside
Reckless Rhino
The Sloker 2, Why Soderpy
Sween what's your favorite Pokemon
Why is it jinx?
You racist bastard Crably Shrimpsin
I restrain myself
From the hyperbolic chamber
joke
Chester Don Cheatles
Cheesie Velveter
Bussy
Ew damn
Velveter
It's fucking wild
Belvator
Kim Star, why is Kim Star looking faker?
Like, wasn't he supposed to quit drama alert?
I just feel like he's like looking more and more like a like not a real.
He looks like kind of generated.
Yeah, he looks.
Yeah.
Like his beard doesn't look real.
It's never looked real though, to be fair.
Yeah, I mean, I know what you mean, but it looks.
Kim Star has always looked like a fucking sim or something.
Like he always looked like some kind of like a me.
He looks like a character from a freaking CRPG.
I can see him doing the fucking idol animation
with his fucking stupid square beard
Didn't he leave? Did he leave Romular?
Did that happen?
I think he like sold it or something.
I think he gave it to somebody else
And now he's just doing low cow shit.
Yeah, I just,
I probably just invested in a bunch of bullshit.
He,
I know he did the boxing thing.
It was like happy punch or something like that.
Happy punch, yeah.
And then that's it or.
They offered me a fight after the greater class.
Oh, oh, right.
To like make things.
To do it.
You want to do another fight in two months?
No.
I wanted to be done with this
exactly today, in fact.
Yeah.
I get, yeah.
Beetlefucker 12,57.
The fucker of 12,577 Beatles.
Domination, clitribble.
Boo, hitting women,
Rhapsody.
Be like, Mama, just hit a woman,
pulled my fist behind my head,
said, oh God, now she's dead.
The worms bursting out of JFK's
face like Diego and Dead Rising 3
while he's on trial.
A totally, spoilers for Dead Rising 3.
A totally normal straight beetle.
Derek not chauvin is innocent, hashtag free him.
My startup page is cakefarts.org.
Round-eyed Asian freezing a snack wrap, TM to cool off.
He's a burning bussy hole.
I wonder.
I don't know.
What is that even?
I don't think I've ever had a snack wrap.
What are you talking about?
The snack wrap.
From where?
I don't know.
McDonald's, I think.
Oh, they have a, they have a rap?
A McDonald's.
Yeah, the snack wrap.
Yeah.
Like what is it like chicken and then like...
It's like chicken and uh, jolly ranchers.
You wouldn't?
Okay.
Chicken and jelly ranches.
Chicken pringles and jolly ranchers.
Good luck.
Are you supposed to like bite into it?
Yeah.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Good luck to your teeth, man.
Biting into a jolly rancher.
Dude, I used to do that all the time.
Why?
Psycho.
I like the crunch.
Yeah.
No, honestly it was a patience thing.
Sometimes I would just, sometimes I mean, sometimes I would have.
I'm not.
No, you know what it is?
You know what it is actually?
The Jolly Ranchers, I don't know what the fuck.
I swear to God, somebody could fact check this.
I swear to God, I remember Jolly Ranchers being like surrounded squares.
They were.
I swear to God.
I had one and it was like that.
And then at some point they became cylinders.
And exclusively cylinders.
They were never really cylinders.
You know what I mean, though?
Like columns or something?
They were always sort of like rectangulars, rectangular.
rectangular shape.
I swear to God they changed
but like ever since they did that change
where they became like columns or whatever
or like whatever the fuck they are typically
every time I would suck on them
they would form these like fucking
razor sharp
they would form like eventually they would have divvets on them
so they'd have a sharp divvets that would just cut the fuck
out of my tongue so eventually I was just like I'm just gonna
eat I'm just gonna chew these
for me when I put it you just stop eating them
I mean I like the taste of them gotcha
I don't know if I would like them today though honestly
they probably suck
Ooh, did I order my, oh no.
Look how fucking excited he got.
Because I, what, yesterday?
You ordered that candy, didn't you?
I don't know if I actually did.
No, it's still in,
still in the car.
No!
Irresponsible purchases, no.
Just buy it now.
I'm going to.
I don't know why the Matrix glasses,
Morpheus glasses are in,
Morpius glasses are in your
fucking related items.
Okay, I remember now.
I remember somebody I know played Morphe's in a music video recently.
My Save for Later is...
My Save for Later on Amazon is crazy because it's just like...
It'll be like candy, a gun.
I don't think I'm anything about Safe for Later anymore.
I think I just have some just because I have like an obnoxious red blazer.
Oh, just in your Safe for Later?
Yeah, because I just want it.
I still to this day want like an obnoxious Red Suit.
I just don't know if I ever want to pull the trigger on actually buying it.
So it's just in my Save for Later things where I can imagine it.
It's like my Pinterest, I guess.
Many.
I have many just unnecessary things that I'm probably never going to buy in the same.
Like a pimp smoking, smoke jacket, smoking jacket.
A shoe with like the little, the cowboy.
What is it?
The spur.
I have Jumanji from when we were at fucking the bar.
Oh, what we can watch it, Jumagi at the bar?
Yeah, so I have Jumangi.
The game is in there.
The real game?
Yeah, like the one that, at least it looks like the replica.
Yeah, the one that's model after that.
That's so funny.
You bring Jumaji to a party, I feel like you're going to get at least two minutes a good conversation.
Yeah.
So if you bring Jumanji to a party.
Two minutes.
If you bring Jumandi to a party,
I'm just not going to make good.
What is this?
I prefer Palestinian Mange, my son.
Oh, I put this thing in.
It's like a, I don't remember how I got here.
But it's like.
Ain't that the truth.
It's like a lingerie for.
men like you put your penis through the thing
look at this thing
yo
I want that really bad I'm gonna buy that right
I actually already I actually already bought it already bought it
I just bought it actually oh fuck tint tint
the shipping is $11
and it this thing costs $6 some Europe clearly
yeah clearly I mean obviously it's a fucking it's lingerie for a penis
of course it's from Europe
no self-respecting American or Mexican or Canadian would do that
That's very true.
I wonder how I found it.
It's a mystery.
You know what's crazy?
I feel like I've seen that before.
I wonder where that kid that perfectly replicated the bully McGuire dances today.
Help, I got come inside both my switches and now the joycons are crunchy.
I tried baking them at 350 for 45 minutes to maybe burn it away.
Senator Jerry molest Mandarly, Republican, got phantom e-preggers through my phantom touch sense in VR.
chat got e-pegged in my
e-ass and I e-liked it
blonde blue-eyed German man trading Chris's
feet picks for Fent
Superman punching Israel to death
Truth justice in the Israeli way
Getting motion sickness
From the Earth's rotation
You need to be called
Chris Chan Sanichu Peterson
Thugzilla 2000
Versus Medicaid cuts
Grand The Theta O 4 swing set
glitch on some
Mario Bros shit after the bill
passed.
We at the snark tank support all
actions made by Iran.
Glory B to the Ayatola.
I can't argue with that one.
Jack WFM
Sween's spoiler policy
is genuinely fucking outrageous and super inconsiderate.
Fuck you. Make sense for a yank.
Fuck you. Fuck you. You're a
British. You guys lost everything.
Is he British? You lost.
You lost. You lost.
Call me a yank. He has to be a Brit.
Maybe.
He's a Brit or he's a Caribbean.
If you're a Caribbean, shut up.
Really?
Really, shut up.
Really?
All my sexes are with men.
That's why I hang my hat on his weenie by George Gay.
If you step into San Antonio, you will be raped.
Big meaty stinks.
Canola Joe slid into Epstein-Selling a T-1000.
Street Fighter 6, but everybody is naked and hard.
Gay actor, good luck Jonathan.
Ew.
Oh my God.
What?
That's another
Comtown bit.
I just shared this
on my story
like a couple of weeks ago.
Oh really?
Yeah, like it was like there was a
Who's good luck Jonathan?
Good luck.
You're trying to explain
imagine trying to explain.
It just occurred to me like don't even bother.
It's it you guys look
please look up this bit.
Good luck Jonathan.
I don't want to ruin it.
I don't.
It's too good.
Like good luck Chuck with good luck Jonathan?
No, because there was,
I can't.
He can't explain it.
I don't want to explain it because it'll ruin the bit that you got to, you got to look up.
Good luck, John to Comtown.
I've not seen any Comtown.
So like, it's a whatever, the algorithm, so like 2017, it just started pouring in Comptown clips because they're like, hey, you're stupid.
And then I was like, yeah, I am.
And I just, I've seen more clips than I've listened to episodes probably.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
Hashtag restore the Gatorverse.
It must have been,
it must have really killed the vibe
when all those people got snatched by ice glass
we got litig,
Lilies Kinsenia.
Heath eating truck stop sushi on the regular gids.
Sweeney, a certified rog.
Can we get a death metal logo snark tank tote bag?
Please, that blonde-haired, blue-eyed German guy's name is so annoying.
He just might be a real German.
I'm Mexican.
Can I say the N-word?
J-K. I will.
J.K.
Obama, when he met Michelle, be like,
let me be queer.
Kevin Durant's feet
Feta cheese
It's soaked in brine
Have it with tomatoes
On the vine
Not all parodies
Have to be gay
Fuck you
I ain't paying my TV license
Bitch Mr. Pants
I've sucker punched
And fucked eight geese
Fucked
Fuck face unstoppable
Cardboard pie
I replace the R's
On my Dodge Ram with Ws
And now my engine
Sounds like take on me
What's the
What's that
I almost feel like
I wish I could
You know what I wish I could nail
I wish I could nail that
British reality show inflection
where like it's almost like
a not Anthony Bourdain exactly
but like um
like
they came here on a boat
you know what I mean
yeah yeah yeah okay some crazy shit I don't know how to do it
it's a tricky one
Nighart Ziggard
uh
family heirloom locket with
1800s pro Jared style dick pig in it
so insane
Hello hello
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambata.
We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM Research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,
whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI,
coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
Right?
Yeah.
My cell phone has a...
mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the
first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st.
Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in-store tags to earn on
eligible items from Celsius, body armor, or aida, silk, Capriason, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin.
Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings.
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Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go-pick-up or delivery.
Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions.
The hidden genius of calling people I don't like the N-word in retrospective video essay.
Don't watch the bit on the show, you nerd.
That is crazy.
Do you think, do you think?
You got it.
Come out, brother.
Jesus Christ, just the lack of basic, basic ability.
Gay.
Demon in white.
I can only imagine what Elmo said to Larry David.
Goon devil, the man without come, hammering my dick to a flat to grind smithing levels.
I call it Excalibur now.
I ate the dick, dick, fruit, and now I'm gay.
search Peter Lory Fish Battle.
Adam ruins everything,
but it's a super atom bomb striking
the north coast of America.
Pringles do heaps of freak flavors in Australia.
Smitchy the kid,
Adam ruins everything versus Sheldon Cooper.
Do you know why they call him that?
No.
Wait, I'm not going to say.
I'll finish it.
Go ahead.
Jesus Christ.
Adam ruins everything versus Sheldin Cooper.
Smitchie the kid.
Me, Tink Miguel,
kill the king of a haphazard.
That's crazy.
Indiana Jones
and the jorkin of the crystal penis
My new D&D weapon plus four bludgeoning hamster in a sock
Scott Ruskin's gargantuan
Tungsten balls
Nothing beats a jet too all the day
Ush
Mambi Pambi liberals mad
Because the president be diddling kids
My papy molest me plenty
It's fine
Little molestin bill's character
Triggering turret impact
And huge man extramatically
To put unit Ocom on
Krelleth Ray Adams'
Chamber of Muff.
I don't even know
what the fuck
I just read there, man.
AMC's the Jolking Dead.
I forgot we had
that old fucking didn't.
The Jelking Dead.
We're lost.
We're lost.
That's one of my favorite clips ever,
honestly.
It's like,
quit pretending like you know where to go.
I know what we're doing,
man.
We're lost.
I think,
I love that season,
first season of the show.
First season of the show is great.
It's actually like really good television.
It's arguably.
the only good season of the show.
It's the only solid season all the way through.
It's the only objectively solid season of that show.
Season two is...
Everything has fucking issues, unfortunately.
Yeah.
Season two, I hated.
I couldn't believe how much I hated season.
But at the end of season two, I was like,
oh, I'm not watching this ever again.
I was okay with how it started off.
Sure.
It kind of went off the rails after, you know,
like after Shane was like going insane.
I kind of like I don't care anymore.
Going in chain.
I like Shane.
I think he's crazy.
In Shane and Shane.
In Shane was actually fun.
But like that was the height of it.
And after that just the just what it devolved into.
That scene of him.
I'm crazy now, Rick.
I'm crazy.
In Shane law.
I love that scene.
The whole episode, it's 40 minutes of.
him raising his hand
and then it occasionally cuts away to the B story
but then the A story comes back
That's the A story
It's Shane
Look at the camera
So what is it 20 minutes?
I guess like 20 minutes for the B story
20 minutes for this A story
It was that
D
This is so good
and then credits.
That was right after he killed that
shot dude and the leg
because he got his hair ripped out.
This is the second Rick comes back.
He finds out he still like
just fatters him completely.
What is the ending of season one?
That's when they go to the facility, right?
They go to the facility.
No, that's the ending when it,
when they blow it up
and then they find
I think that's just the end.
I don't remember exactly how it ends.
Season two is I think that's when
they stumble upon the.
farm, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Because, I think...
Season two is the farm season.
No, the dude, a kid got shot on accident.
They were...
The only kid.
Carl, I couldn't remember his name.
Curl.
Curl got shot because...
Remember, he sees a deer and he's like, ooh, like, and it's like a great moment of like,
there's still some beauty in the world.
Blah!
And it's that fat idiot.
Otis or whatever his name is.
Oh, I remember Odium.
And then he was like, oh, my bad.
I'm dumb and fat.
I thought that was a deer.
I'm sorry.
It's crazy out here.
Sometimes it's me
a deer and it turned down to be a 10-year-old boy.
I didn't know I'm sorry.
It's Dick Cheney.
It's Dick Cheney.
I didn't know.
I thought fucking quail or something.
I thought that was my friend Halliburton.
I like Shane.
My friend Halliburton, the corporation.
That was my friend.
I dated after my friend Halliburton.
I thought he was a fucking defense contractor.
I thought that was a Muslim deer.
A Muslim deer.
Yeah, you know.
You know, a man, dear.
You've seen it before.
You know, they'd jump in front of cars and say, Allah,
I met a Muslim at the hospital yesterday.
He was a security guard.
Great guy.
I was going to say congratulations.
I was like,
but it was just randomly used as like,
he gave me free parking
nice fucking guy for like no reason
yeah yeah he was just like oh yeah
you don't have to pay for the parking
because you gotta pay for the parking
at the fucking hospital
the closest one to us
yeah yeah yeah I'm like cool
I love how everything Niccolon dimes is
yeah well that's because he's trying to
get in your head
he's trying to lower your guard when he's
when he's ready to implement
Sharia law on you
oh that's what happened
that's what I've been heard
yeah that's exactly what's happening
I was talking to my buddy
you know Steinberg
and he was
tell me about that.
Oh, Steinberg.
Yeah.
Steinberg, eh?
Yeah.
Being named Steinberg, though, isn't it?
No, with that, it's hyper-Jewish.
Well, I mean, is Burr?
I guess, yeah, I mean, I guess.
Jews from Germany have names like that, like Klein and Steinberg and Weinstein.
Steinberg is crazy because that's both the fucking suffix.
Yeah, that's the two-end.
Yeah, that's both the suffocates.
You're the ultimate.
If your name is Stein Bergman, then you are, you are so Jewish.
Steinbergman.
Steinbergman.
And you're so Jewish.
My name is Woody Steinbergman.
Woody Steinberg.
You can pull many out of people's pockets.
Jewish first name.
What is the most Jewish first name?
Like,
Mike,
Ortekeke.
Mortykeye actually is.
Mortykeyes got it.
So Mortykeye Steinberg.
I like that.
He's my nephew's name,
Wartykeye.
It's not a bad name.
It's a cool name, actually.
The nephew's name,
Mordecai.
Oh, well.
Oh, well.
Too bad we can't use it anymore because of the climate
You know what happens
Craig the Canadian
I have feelings for you
parentheses it's hatred
I didn't mean to shoot that more
It's
I was just joking around
He had to happen to be dead
Oh fuck I meant to load my joke bullets
My joke bullets
They're just
They're still bullets
Yeah
He just finds them a little funnier
This is one here, man.
I got a little clown faces painted on them.
It makes them funny.
They just make a fart sound when he shoots it.
That's how you make guns like uncool.
Yeah, yeah.
You want to make people not appreciate guns anywhere?
Make them or make them a farting and coming.
Yeah, yeah.
And all of a sudden all these good old boys are going to be like,
I don't know about this, no, but if we somehow engineered guns to sound like Hillary Clinton.
Who's squirting.
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna,
and I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business?
My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale.
Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side.
For example.
If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago,
they're already five years behind.
If anybody is not using AI
to make their developers
who write software
30% more productive today
with the goal of being 70% more productive
so we are not asking our clients
to be the first experiment on it.
We say you can leverage what we did
we're happy to bring out all our learnings
including what needs to change in the process
because the biggest change is not technology
is getting people to accept
that there's a different way to do things.
To listen to the full conversation,
visit IBM.com slash smart talks.
Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway.
Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals.
Put a spring in your step with fresh savings
that brighten the season.
These exclusive week-long digital offers
on your favorite products are only available
when you shop online.
Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker,
Skippy, Hidden Valley,
international delight, Frito Lay,
Signatures Select.
Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only.
Restrictions apply.
See website for full terms and conditions.
Oh.
That probably sounds rough.
They're done.
They're done.
That probably sounds rough.
Like you pull the trigger.
Oh, I'm squirting.
I'm Hillary Clinton.
I'm squirting.
I'm Hillary Clinton.
You know, for the blind.
I don't think I like this thing no more.
Oh, man.
I think I've killed my last minority.
Dang.
I shot my last boy I thought was a deal.
Oh, well.
Oh, well.
And then Herschel.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'm a zombie.
Was he a zombie?
Did he become a zombie?
Herschel?
Yeah, he was, uh, no.
No.
He did not have time to become a zombie.
He did not have died.
He got to cap a baby.
Oh.
He gets killed by the worst.
I forgot.
The whispers, right?
There was, no, the fucking, the mayor.
The governor, sorry.
Oh, yeah.
The mayor.
The mayor.
The mayor.
He came up.
With a chicken over rice.
And he was like, hey.
Eating rice with his fingers.
Like, hey.
And then he just.
Cimitar and his head off.
This is what's going to happen in New York.
Yeah.
And then it's like a sanilof.
If John Mom Donnie wins.
Everybody's going to eat rice with their hands and everybody's going to run around with
simitarchs decapitating people.
We got to stop this.
There's a gift.
It's me.
Andrew Cuomo.
Famous molester.
Here to tell you to vote for me.
Please.
God.
Oh my God.
Please.
I owe people money.
I owe people money.
please vote for me.
They're gonna throw it off a fucking building.
Oh God.
Please God.
It's just hit on camera.
Please God.
Oh my God.
Please help.
Please vote for me.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
They're gonna do me like they did Jay Leno.
Please help.
Like they did Jay Leno.
Why is this not working?
Are you trying to look up a zombie hers?
Yes.
It's your boy, Shawnee D.
And thank God for Asian women.
And thank God for the Stellar Blade nude mod.
What? Did zombie Herschel become a clip?
No, I don't think so. That would be a good clip though.
I feel like I...
Maybe it was.
Ah, it's probably not.
Zombie Herschel.
Oh, maybe I...
I think you did, actually.
Did I post it?
Maybe not.
I think I might have made it and I didn't post it.
Jesus Christ.
Sometimes that happens.
Yeah.
Because I feel like I remember making...
The fucking internet cut out again, I think.
It did.
It did.
That's why I connected to your thing, and then I was trying to load some...
Cool!
Yeah.
Awesome.
And we were so close to being done too.
Oh, so close.
God damn it.
I got a hot spot.
I got to call these fucking idiots.
No.
You hate it, spit.
Are you on spectrum?
Yeah.
You're on the spectrum?
What are the options do I have?
AT&T?
Yeah, I don't want to be on spectrum.
But I'm the same thing in my area where I'm moving to.
I have no.
I was like, can I, I want, why isn't fiber optics everywhere?
Like, Fios, right?
They call it Fios.
Like, why is it not everywhere?
It makes sense, but you know, they don't offer it here.
I don't know why it's not like, and where in the time that we're in now, I remember
Fios being installed like 10 years ago.
Like it started getting, they were supposed to be installed and it didn't happen.
Oh, probably lobbying.
Yes.
Yeah.
What?
Silly fucking me.
Lobbyists are so cool.
Why don't people lobby for good shit, man?
Why don't we lobby for good shit?
Good doesn't make you wealthier than everyone else, unfortunately.
But it literally does.
It could.
Culturally, you could become insanely wealthy
by doing great things for people,
but you still wouldn't have as much money
as the people have now.
Even though you'd still be insanely wealthy, right?
You wouldn't be like,
oh, I can never spend my money
in a thousand lifetimes type of money.
And that's,
I do,
I miss mob justice.
I think I missed it
as if I've ever experienced.
but like I just be like
we need to we need to whip
the crowd up
we need to grab a politician on the way to work
and be like look man
we're gonna eat you next time
yeah
Jay Leno them you know
yeah
dangling them over a building we treat them like
how the uh
you know the
Arabs treat a gays
you know
they gotta get a couple of shots in too man
that is true you're right yeah
equal opportunity yeah
I was kind of a little bit hesitant to
Got to go to the Alahu snack bar after this
I like that
I like that
You know we had a couple of the clips
They're both Jewish related
They are yeah
I was like I was like hmm
Double up
I was like I don't know if
Double up in the middle of
I was like I don't know if this is sending a certain
Message
That's gonna fuck with our spreeker ass well
There's another one where you fucking
There's a clip I saw
You drew
You drew your Dichu a swastika
Kinks did clocked it immediately
And I was like
That's a good clip but I shouldn't make it
At least wait a little
I'll wait a minute.
I'll wait a minute.
Let's let a few cycles.
Were there two in a row?
Well, so the Ozzy Osbourne and the bencher.
And those are they're side by side and I was like.
Moji Joji is too good though.
It's good, but I was also like, you know, for the people that don't have the context in my bag,
what kind of podcast is this?
I like.
And then the other, yeah, that was going to say the other people that subscribe to, you know,
certain Aryan stuff, they're like, this is a pretty good podcast.
Even the monkeys know they're bad.
That's crazy.
Even the chips don't have bad.
Filt the ingrates and subhumans.
You think they're subbies?
Like if racists had like the type of culture,
like if Gen Z was placed back in time
to where they were segregation,
do you think they would call them subbies, like subhuman?
Have you seen this thing about the Gen Z stare?
Have you seen this?
Yeah.
No.
What the fucking?
I don't know what that is.
What the hell are you talking about?
what it's so like the the the looky-loo like that's that's the jinsey stare I feel like that's just a stair like I don't really understand it as being a genzy thing it feels like it's something that's been repackaged I imagine yeah what is what is crazy is that apparently I heard from people that like Gen Z they pick up the phone and they don't say anything no you're not that's not real I swear I can't tell if this is no I swear I got like they pick up the phone and they just what do you and then you're supposed to say hello which I think is insane obviously but but but
This isn't a bit?
No, this is a real thing that I've heard.
Well, I mean, to the extent that I've heard that it is.
Yeah, you're not.
I admit, you're not doing it.
I'm not making it up.
Okay, finally, we're back online.
That doesn't sound, it sounds, um, it just doesn't sound real.
Like, but it does sound fucking fake.
But, yeah, I guess it's, it's, again, I guess we shouldn't be surprised by anything.
Like, like, honestly.
Yeah, yeah.
Why?
Why even?
I think the idea is because, and this.
The reasoning behind it is even more crazy because apparently it's like, I've heard rationale about it where it's like, well, you're invading my space.
It's, it's up to you to make yourself known.
Which is.
Sounds a little more like a bit, but also does sound like.
That sounds like a bit.
It sounds.
I've heard some crazier shit in that era of the, you know, the new wave of progressive zealotry.
There was like the zealotry, the zealotness of it.
The vocabulary in particular.
What are you doing?
This isn't, why are you making yourself be hated?
I saw a great video recently.
I was just like, why is everybody so obsessed with accountability?
You can't hold anybody accountable.
You don't know these people.
And it's like, yeah, I guess I kind of know what you'd mean.
Like, you can't hold a stranger accountable.
I mean, essentially.
Yeah.
Like, especially going out of your way to do anything like that, it's like, who the fuck are you?
Yeah.
You're not going to motivate me to change or anything.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, Fart Knocker 66 wants me to change.
Fart Knocker is a...
I have not heard that term.
It's such a 90s term.
I've heard butt knocker.
You've heard...
You've heard butt knocker because, like,
Joe nicknamed a guy that.
Butt knocker?
Yeah.
Fart knocker.
That was like a...
Beavis and butt head.
Yeah, it's like butt munch or something.
Yeah, yeah.
What is it?
What is the...
Come shot gaming trademark.
At Grock, is this true?
Deport the Illegals and execute their employers.
I used to tutor native Spanish,
and I would love to help speak out.
How do I contact you have interested?
Stop writing gay covers if you're never actually
going to record them.
Release them, you bums.
I'm happy to, I'm happy the Buddy Holly Extra Ammo.
We will do it, nigga.
We'll do it, yeah.
There's a bunch of stuff.
I have to do, I have to do a voice acting thing for like,
another content creator after, after we record today.
Hey.
What?
Did you actually leave the, oh my God, don't forget.
The extra ammo, did you actually put in Collins thing?
Oh, I did.
Yeah, well, I've been asking for it.
I got to give the people their content.
I was like
I was like
See that I wrote on the
The problem is I wrote on the Patreon
Then I'm like
Oh you guys are gonna get two this week
You know my god
I'm a liar
Whoops
No so what I was I recorded it
I recorded a solo XRA ammo
And then I put it
I just I'm so used to just putting it
If I record by myself
I'm used to just putting it in the same drive
That I put everything that I record on my own
Which is in Collins Drive
Yeah
And I just left it in there
And I just
thought we added in there. And then Derek's like, oh yeah, it's not in there. I was like,
are you sure? And I was like, and I went to check and surely never was in there. So I was like,
oh, fuck. And so I redownloaded it because I usually like, I usually just kind of like delete
the audio when I'm done like recording shit. Sure. And once it's done in rendered, I like,
I send it off. And so like I redownload it and it came out a little bit fucked up. So I'm like,
oh, fuck. I might have to like, I'm going to have to stitch together two, two cuts of like the
because the last bit of my extra ammo is a little bit fucked up now. Because it's
downloaded. Oh, weird. Yeah, it's got like
the, like, lines and shit
and like the audio's crunchy. So I'm like,
I'll just re-record the last bit of it. It's not a big deal.
It's already late. It's already, yeah, it doesn't matter
anymore. But yeah, it'll be, it'll be out. You'll, you'll get
a double up at some point. At some point. But it is
it's funny. Look at the draw. Look at the draw, bitch.
Anyway,
Microsoft
canceling all gears of war projects and selling
the franchise to Nintendo.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah,
getting nicky with it.
Drip M.H. Lord of all drip.
David Draven says he's against a hate crimes
against Jews, but look at what he
did this, Simon and Garfunkel.
Beetle hooker and his beetlefish net
sucking beetle dick for beetle meth.
Obi won't you blow me. So gape, they call
him slip in Jimmy. Netanyahu's Nexus account only has
the mod that lets you kill children in Skyrim.
Kremlin to gremlin, giant oil painting
of Sween in a dress. I need a buff
I need buff Derek and healthy swine, y'all slacken.
Coming to a theater near you.
Hopefully.
As long as I'm not actually dying or something.
I mean, it was a terrifying amount of Olympic,
and I'm going to be fucking...
I would love to say,
I would put you on Ozmpic just for the bit, honestly.
Yeah, we should do it.
We should do it.
We can get it from Mexico, like really cheap.
What if we paid for it?
Would you do it?
No, you guys are not, that's too much money.
It's not that much money, actually.
We'll just take it out of your cut.
What you call?
Ozempik, without thing, it's pretty...
The actual, like, the ingredient.
It's like buying, like, uh,
acetaminopin, instead of Tylenol.
Yeah, Kason, don't worry.
What you call it, um, the price?
Semiclutide.
Because one of my friends is on it and she's can't, she's paying for out of pocket and it's not she.
What is she fucking, is she doing it?
Like there are many semi-glutides.
She's using Wauvv-Wav-a-W-V-W-W-V-W-W-W-W-W.
Yeah, don't use any of these ones that have a name.
You just need it.
It just says the fucking actually ingredient.
The active ingredient, you can get it.
No.
Just like I said, I buy what?
No.
We're going to use the good stuff.
Okay, we're getting O-ZIP.
We're going to use the good stuff.
And we'll pay for it.
Let's not do that.
We'll just use your share.
So I'm paying for it.
Yeah.
But it's pretty good.
Not really.
How not really?
Well, in an ontological sense, what even is paying?
Hello, hello.
I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.
I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata.
We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.
At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing.
whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum,
or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.
It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.
Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?
Yes.
Building actual physical machines.
Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.
I wanted the experience, the culture of building,
hard things that others have not done before.
Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?
There will come a point when it will mature.
Right?
My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.
How far are we from that point with Conton?
By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.
That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.
To learn how IBM is building the future of computing,
visit IBM.com
slash quantum.
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway.
It's stockup savings time now through March 31st.
Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points.
Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius,
body armor, or aida, silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin.
Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings.
Stack up those rewards to save even more.
Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy.
drive up and go pick up or delivery.
Restrictions apply.
See website for full terms and conditions.
One could say paying the price would be not to do it.
Possibly.
Possibly.
Possibly.
That's not though.
Sir, you're cooking.
Sir, I'm cooking.
So you up for it?
I'll do it.
Yeah, I'm, I'm more.
I really, I've thought about it.
Yeah.
I wonder how skinny I could get, really.
You like the machinist?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, man, machinist.
That's crazy.
What an idiot.
You got to.
Easily kill him, though.
What do you mean?
What's his name?
Chris Bale?
Christian Bale.
Chris Bail?
My brain was stunned.
He was Christian Bail.
Because I almost said Christopher.
Christian Bail.
He lost all that wake in six days.
That's insane.
But he also, what you call?
How would you do that?
A lot of running.
He just threw up a lot.
He does shit like that.
Where he like, he fucking, he just like,
for the movie when he was the brother
and fucking Mark Wahlberg,
you know, the Asian's natural predator.
Yeah.
He actually hammered his face into a wall
until he looked a little bit more like Mark Wahlberg.
He fucking lost so much way for that.
He really didn't.
Was it a champion or was it called the champion
or the contender or something like that?
But he lost so much way for that move.
And I'm like, dude, you were just Batman.
He's so dedicated to his craft that he beat his head against the wall
to look more like Mark Wahlberg.
And in the end, he did so much damage to his own brain
that he thought he looked more like Mark Wahlberg.
and stopped, but he just looked more like a beat-up Christian bail.
Very cool.
That's the story behind whatever the fuck that movie is.
Was it the fighter?
Harry Wreckton.
I think he might be right.
I think it might be the fighter.
You guys should invite Ivy Valentine out of the podcast and not stare at a titus.
If not, then bring on Sagat.
Wageleigh 583.
Sween, please wake up.
You've been in a coma for two years.
You fell and hit your head getting a blumpkin at the Furcon.
Pupini Brothers presents crash course.
Cybertron history.
Debtacons. Donk, Donkerson, the colon swinging slasher. P.P. Chris, I beg you to play civilization
first. In my opinion is the best for newcomers, also in general. I'm not going to be
civilization anytime soon. I got to be real. This is like maybe in the wintertime when I'm like
when I got nothing to do. In the Alliance, Navy maggots are named after great podcasters,
which is why Shepard's bitch is named Chris. That's crazy. Me Be Fishing. A mean lesbian. Poop,
pooh, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, shit poop. Poop.
John Strickland, Merck's 1899, call me the Wappenheimer, the way I'm developing and dropping these end bombs.
Let's go.
The first certificate, David, presents Andrew Cuomo and Rudy Giuliani, the repeatophiles.
Scott Pilgrim versus the IDF.
That's something.
That's crazy.
I'd watch it for sure.
Yeah.
Or play it.
What is it?
I don't know if it's going to be a game or if it's going to be a show.
You have to defeat my seven, you have to defeat my seven evil podcasters.
That would be.
fun. That would be fun. It's just Tim pool and
just a... Tim pool, Benjamin
Netanyahu, obviously the final boss. The final boss
for sure. He's the Gideon, he's the Gideon, yeah, yeah, exactly.
That's insane. That'd be great. I'd watch a fuck out of that. I would watch it.
I would play the... I would play the beat him up. Yeah.
Beem up great. Just feel you, you son of a bitch, just feel the feeling of
beating up, what do you do? Oach. What do you...
Ouch! Ouch! Oh! OCH! Oh! Oh, I'm from Philadelphia.
You pick up, you pick up a fucking, what you call it? You pick up on...
I fucking starve David
You get like a power up
Yeah
Do you do do do do do do do do you do do you do you get
And you fucking super mode
All right
All right right
We just talked about how we were leading to
heavily into this
Pre-Rise Blake 896
I got locked jaw
I got locked jaw doing graveyard
Chips at the dick sucking factory
And all I got was lockjaw
As previously mentioned
With ass wide open
And I'm open
Minstrel show goofy
Huckin and driving
Green screening dirt derri
into Schindler's list.
There is no abscene list in Basingse.
Das Goopi jerking it with so much lotion.
My ball stopped being wrinkly.
Kingston's dad picking up a gay little beetle off the ground.
Kingston, my child, look, a delicious morsel.
As he feeds it to him, young Colin back flipping into a wood chipper.
That's a young Colin?
Young Colin.
Back flipping to a woodchins.
God damn.
What a way to go?
I've seen him set up.
And you're like watching him.
Like, what is he doing?
I wonder.
I love Mega Man.
And he had.
He holds himself together.
He reconstitutes himself after he's been shredded.
That's crazy.
You must write a guide.
That's power.
By will, by force of will.
That means there's willpower in each cell he has.
Yeah.
He can put himself up back together.
He's like cell in a lot of ways.
I'm going.
He's perfect cell.
Colin is perfect cell.
Someone draw that now.
I need to see that Photoshop.
I really need to see that Photoshop.
Hello, Goha.
Hello, Christopher.
We have another podcast.
That fight is crazy.
Dude, imagine beating the fuck out of someone like that.
Cronlin was beating him with all his might and he was ignoring him.
Well, console sales are down year over year.
Perfect Colin is hilarious
Perfect Colin's hilarious
I'm gonna commission that
I'm gonna commission that for him
I'll do it
I'll get in the Photoshop
I'll do it
That's too good
Perfect guy with the fucking head thing
The big head thing
It's got like a jet sticker on it
Why are you going so?
I'm not going hard
It's a fucking hilarious image
I love that dude
That's great
he's looking at a megaman
I love that image
It's a megaman
I love him just looking at his hands like that
It's so good
He threw a destructo disc at him
They didn't do anything
That is crazy
He threw the plot armor weapon out of it
It hurt him
Poor game pass is not profitable
So
So Jewish Lajoskii Shuman sex laxar
I am lausacs
I don't know what the fuck
You just said
I don't know
Ask your wife.
She probably knows.
It sounds like that.
It sounds like that shit.
It sounds like build water.
What did you say?
Billge water.
What is Bill's water?
I think build is a word.
I think you're right, but I just don't know what it is.
What is build?
Like Bill G.
B-I-L-G-E?
You're using a word that you think you know, but you're not sure.
I love that.
I love that.
I've done that a few times where I'm like, wait, does that mean what I think it means?
It's like Trump when he said that, that anti-Semitic, what is it?
he said like some weird old-timey like 1906
slur for Jewish people
Shylock he said that yeah he said shylock
and everybody was like what the fuck
dated the fuck out of himself yeah I know right
water that collects in the side of a bilge
a building is a part of a boat
oh that's crazy that you know that
because the area of the outer surface of the ship's hull
where the bottom curve meets the vertical side
so like literally like this part
of the boat I see like
Okay.
Bilge water.
That is kind of the opposite of a bulge.
So that does make sense in some way.
Bilge, bulge.
I got a bulge for you.
I got a fucking gun.
Guy, that's the perfect answer.
If someone says I got a bulge for you, you actually reply it.
I got a gun.
I got something for you right here.
You shoot him in his dick.
Oh, you got my dick.
It's fucking warming still.
It flies away.
It flies away.
It's like, you know how fish is flop?
It's like that, but it keeps going.
going up.
I like the aggressive skitter where it hits the ground and it's fucking gone.
I love a fish.
A fish aggressively skittering on the ground is something that, uh,
help,
I'm dying.
It sucks.
What I do is I,
what I do is I taste fish and then you get a rock and you start.
Yeah.
You can't feel.
You can't feel.
Young call.
All right, we're a gay lord of the rings, Dildo Faggans,
niggie, straight slayer, making the world gay.
F scene rolling up on an elementary school and picking out,
children like apples at a grocery store.
Shooting fish is crazy.
Have you seen people shoot fish in harpoon guns?
I've seen that.
And how much damage?
Like how fucking violently?
It's purposeless.
It just erases a fish.
It doesn't even give you meat.
They're so violent.
Harpoons are for like whales or something.
They're for giant fucking things in the ocean.
It's so impressive, dude.
It's like what the fucking happened?
Two Guatemalan Spartans butterfly jumping across the border.
Sorry, Miss Jackson and last page.
Man, you're just, we're just chill right now doing the podcast and a fucking harpoon just goes
like.
Oh my god
And then it was immediately yanked
From the roof
And then you're pulled back
Dude
And then you're just on the boat
Like
You're in the stratosphere
You're in the stratosphere on like some boat
And somebody goes
Oh look cool
And then he tosses you back
Toss the dude back
Ah
You're falling
You just land on the fucking
I don't even know
You just land on
I don't know
Mount Rushmore
You slide off of Washington's face
And explode
It is the land
It's like that guy in a Titanic that bounces off the propeller
Oh, that's beautiful
That's the best part of the movie
It's the only part of the movie as far as I'm concerned
That movie is
Two and a half hours too long
When that's the only scene you need
Yeah, as a kid it was Rose's tit
And then the guy
Hitting the propeller
That's the Titanic to me
You're like that sound
Good good
I hope that got an Oscar
That guy, the sound
engineer, whatever they called this.
For outstanding achievement
in sound design.
Welcome, I don't know,
Peter Georgetown. Peter Georgetown.
Thank you so much.
I worked literally all
minute on that.
Badly brave.
He's just there.
He's just there.
Absolutely.
See the new image of him that came out?
No.
Because he got nominated for like an Emmy.
Because he acted on the studio.
I think that Seth Rogen show that
started airing at the end of the Severance
finale
and so it's just a picture of him going like this
but it looks like
the opposite of absolute sima it looks like
oh so now he has like
he has a counter yeah he has a counter
although I prefer I like him going like that and it just says
abysmal dog shit
that's sorry abysmal
is such a good word like it's not used to that. I love
abysmal abyss
it's just good shit
it's good shit yeah
who's New York
Nick, Aetherian needs help, lowering his weapon
and Hale 3, penis, Nafram, Melfast 1, King of Hephazard,
and rounding out our list as always, as is customary.
The King! The King of Hephazard!
Ted Cruz!
No.
No, man.
Ted Cruz.
No, you ruined the vibe, dude.
Ted Cruz.
He's from Canada.
You think he's on vacation again?
Is he from Canada?
I think he's from Canada, yeah.
No, that's gross.
You think he's...
You think he's...
Right now...
He's Cuban, too, of course.
I think he's setting fire to Texas right now.
A Canadian Cuban constantly fighting for Israel is very strange.
That is a fucking baffling.
Like, what kind of family tree is that?
Jesus.
You hear that while all the kids were drowning?
He stayed a little longer in Greece.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's like, I don't want to deal with that.
Yeah, he was like, I took the first plane back
and then they just easily tracked that he clearly could have taken multiple planes back.
Of course, yeah.
I was like, just don't say anything, moron.
It would almost be better if you just own the fact that you just didn't care.
Yeah, you can be like, whatever.
They're God's children now.
Texans are great people.
They'll figure it out on their own.
They don't need me.
They don't need me.
They're independent.
They're independent.
They don't need help.
They don't need help.
That's why we don't.
We don't.
He's never even there.
He's never even there.
So crazy.
Illegally, I'm assuming.
Crazy dude.
Literally, literally it got so bad because of NATO being cut from that area.
There's a lot of stuff.
It is so insane.
You can't make it up.
Cut FEMA.
Absolutely.
You cut though.
You cut the, uh, the, uh,
the weather reporting and stuff
and they're like, please don't do this.
And they're like, oh, we're Texas.
Of course we're going to do this.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
I love it.
I love it.
Bye, everybody.
Gum, run.
Tree.
Do.
Turn off as I can say,
turn off so I can say racist stuff.
It's from Jackie Tran.
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Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway.
It's stockup savings time now through March 31st.
Spring in for storewide deals and earn four times a point.
Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor,
Oiraida, Silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin.
Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings.
Stack up those rewards to save even more.
Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick-up or delivery.
Restrictions apply.
See website for full terms and conditions.
