The Snark Tank - #344: RIP Izzy Israelbourne

Episode Date: July 28, 2025

https://www.patreon.com/TheSnarkTank

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Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Hey everybody, welcome Welcome to the Sark Tank podcast It's me Chris It's him Sweeney, look at him Look at him

Look at him Fucking weird And then there's Derek over there Howdy Howdy, bar I need a 10 gallon hat A 10 gallon hat

Yeah don't you think I want one so bad No, not me But like I mean If you want If you want one Fuck I gotta get one for sure Why don't we sell 10 gallon hats

We do like us Like us Yeah We can do that Snark Tank 10 gallon hats There's nothing Cowboy-esque about any of us

Yeah I think you know what I think it's a good idea I'll try and find an Indonesian slave To manufacture some Some 10 gallon hats Fiverr Fiverr I had a one of our One of our arts

One of arts what the fuck One of our One of our shirts The demonic sween Was commissioned by an Indonesian Muslim and I say he's Muslim because he said brother every other sentence. Oh, right.

Have you ever talked to a Muslim? They say brother. You know, it's like, it's almost like a Pokemon saying its name. Right, right. It's that much. So you're saying Hulk Hogan was Muslim. Hmm.

You just gave me something to think about. There's no way. That's no way that my fuck was a brother. I don't know. I don't, I don't, didn't he explicitly, did he explicitly treat a fucking Muslim wrestler that was like the guy

that was, well, there's the Iron Sheik. Iron Sheik. Iron Shee. Almost the great Kashique. That's crazy. Close enough.

Look, look, like wrestling fans cared at that time. He was just terrorist. That's all he was. I've seen matches between those two. Yeah, actually, that's what wrestling was back in the day. It was just, it was just, it was tough. The entirety, all of WWB was actually just Jeff Dunham playing with puppets. And you guys were so entranced by the convincing magic.

I'm still entranced. You actually thought they were real people. I'm still entranced. I think it's still happening today. I think you just unveiled it for me and I'm sad Yeah, when we were all When we all knew Jeff Dunham was playing with puppets That's when the magic wore off

You know what I mean? And he just kind of pivoted to like I've been a ventriloquist this whole time Yeah Oh man Him changing Cato I just saw somebody share that clip Of us I don't know which

Oh it was a It was a It was a um Not extra animal What the fuck was a Twitter trash? Dude my brain needs to That was pretty much gear up before it was a podcast Yeah I do I do

remember on one of the episodes, maybe it was the first one, it had to be in the first one where Shouinhead said, like, you guys got to do a podcast. And I was like, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Somebody shared the clip of us talking, you got you talking about Hulk Hogan specifically medium. Yeah. It was funny because I was thinking about that moment when I found out about Hoke Hogan dying. I was like, oh, it's crazy. And then I finally checked Twitter late at night and I saw that clip. I was fucking laughing. I forgot about that. Dude, me too. I totally.

I love when that happened, when all that Gawker shit happened, it got on earth, using the hard art coupled with brother was my favorite thing for like a month. Probably. Just like in, they were inseparable. Like if you were doing, if I was doing a whole token impression. And,

that is such a, that is such an insane combination of words. Yes. Because you're like, you're displaying unity. We're also telling you you are not a human. You know, my brother, that's a, as a monster. Look, anyway, well, before we get to deep into the weeds, Patreon.com, that's a snark tank.

Remember, go over there, early ad free access, exclusive episodes. We're doing a top 10 games list for each of us. And that'll lead to some debate, I'm sure. Yeah. Put in that, that's an order was fucking tough, actually, when I thought about it. I couldn't do an order. I have, like, a close. I have the order that I was feeling at the time that I wrote it.

Right. But, like, I'm sure I'll read it now and I'll be like, maybe that's high like I don't know it's always the order's not necessarily important but I think top five is top five I felt confident about it was the bottom

the bottom five is tough that was actually really hard my top five is like my top five's been the same for years I think I know my top five always shifts yeah I know my top five easy so you got that okay

it's it's tough I had to remember I mentioned that I was like I'm pretty sure Donkey Kong country is in my top 10 but when I started thinking about everything together I was like I don't think I it has to be an honorable mention.

It was crazy. We got to, yeah, well, anyway, that's going to be in a patron-exclusive episode. We might actually put that out

later for people, but like there's other episodes like it. So, because I think it's a good idea. That'll be a good, give that be a good thing to source clips from too, that episode.

Yeah. But we'll see. So pop on over there, give us a dollar, or we'll kill you. Yeah. Give us $5, actually. I don't kill you if you don't give us $5.

Yeah, minimal on the Patreon is now $35. Yeah. The bottom. Bottom tier is $35. Why can't we have a like country club Patreon? You know what are we offering? Exactly. What do the country clubs offer?

At least a place. You don't offer even that. I have an idea. I have an idea. Okay. $35. No, $100. Okay.

$100 country club tier. Okay. Anybody who, who subscribes, full access to Kingston's house. Guys, I'm so. warning you, you will get shot. I'm so, there are so many guns in my house. I'm completely, I just want to let you know I'm completely on board. Let's put it to a vote.

Yeah. All in favor? I? All right. It's over. Guys, sorry, Kingston. The power of democracy. Listen, fans, I'm warning you, your lives are valuable, even though they're, I'm lying to you telling

your lives are valuable. Do you not? Do you not? Do you not. My dad has, my, my, my, release dad has like. His dad that he doesn't speak to. King, Dan has a gun. and you're going to ask him for the gun.

Lily's dad has like four guns. There's four guns. Literally, yeah. He's Mexican. He found out about guns like six years ago. He found out about guns. He really, like, what are these? He thought wars were people punching each other.

He did. He did. He was a pistol or something. I don't know. He found out about guns. I am gun. So I'm a good. Jesus Christ.

He found out about gun, like, started like getting really into guns. And he bought a lot of them. I was like, dude, there's way too many guns on his property. So for future reference. Like way too many guns of property. For future reference, he got into guns six years ago. Same shit. He didn't find out of a lot.

What is this? Are you saying that guns are real things? I thought they were just a movie. We just like never, somehow his brain never lashed on to all, like, he's seen John Wick and it didn't make sense. I don't know how he, I don't know how he correlated. I don't know how he correlated cowboys. He's like, some of his best friends got gunned down by cops,

so he just didn't understand what happened. Those thermuses look dangerous. It's crazy. Incredibly stupid. I actually hate it. I was like, there's too many of them here. Gun men. Well, look.

So $100 access to Kingston's house. Absolutely. And, you know, if you can make it through, it's yours. Yeah. It's yours. If you can make it into the house and somehow survive the harrowing of bullets, and by all means, that all means that you deserve it. Anyway, look.

You got an auto rifle too for some really. Anyway, look, there's a lot of a lot of stuff to talk about. It's a pretty, it's an eventful week for sure. So, it's one of the rare times where I feel like we've actually caught things on time. Yeah. You know? So which, which one do you want to, you want to jump into the biggest, crazy ones? We got to go over the fact that like, this is like, what, this is 2016-2 or like 20-2015.

What was the year that like all those celebrities died? I don't remember. I think it was 2021. No. I mean, maybe that was another one. But, like, I remember, like, Robin Williams and, like, it was 2014, 2015, 2015, 2016. One of those years where everybody started dying. 15 or 16.

I don't know. It's one around that. I just don't remember. Yeah. I can't remember exactly who, but I remember it was just a shit ton of people, like in a row. And I was like, yo, it was crazy. It's happening again. Hulk Hogan, dead.

Yeah. But we got to start off with the, so the biggest one that started the, it started with a little, it started with a little bit of a, like, oh, that's unfortunate, the Cosby dude, the Cosby son. Oh, Malcolm Jamal Warner, yeah, yeah. So he died and he drowned. In Costa Rica. Yeah, he was on vacation, he drowned.

Coast Rica, yeah. Tech Smokey and told her was her fault. I was going to say, I was like, I think she did. I did. Good. I was like, Costa Rica claims another black man, dude. You're too, I don't, this territory belongs to people that look like me now, and then she drowned them.

That's crazy. Yeah, it was crazy. I was like, why did you do that? I asked her. I was like, why'd you do that? And she was like, I know, I'd just stand on business. Theo, you're drowning, Theo. Stop drowning, Theo.

Stop drowning, Theo. Crazy. I'm actually telling somebody that while they're fucking drowning. Cut it out. Hey, man, stop. Stop drowning right now. Stop not drowning, Theo. Stop it, please.

That is fucking insane. That's crazy. Look, obviously, that's not very. It's like, but. No, that was sad. And then it was, was it him and then Ozzy or was Ozzy first? Yeah, so it was him first. And then, yeah, because this was a little bit like, oh, man, that's unfortunate.

And then Ozzy just happened, what, like two, three days ago or something? Something like that, yeah. Which that was pretty significant. Is Ozzy crazy train? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that was.

Damn. That was nuts because he just did that big ass fucking show, the farewell, you know, Ozzy Black Sabbath show like two, three weeks ago. And then so, and then people, unfortunately, they weren't attributing to it. It's like, oh, I'm good. Now I can find the rest of attributing it to us making fun of him. We were having fun with the idea, you know? It's not, I don't know if we were making fun of Ozzie necessarily. Well, see, we weren't, but here's the weird thing. Now, I don't

know if this is actually true because I didn't vet it. But allegedly, he wrote a letter to stop the BBC from airing a documentary that would show all of the atrocities of the Israel Palestine like conflict. Him? That's allegedly he signed a like a bunch of people signed a letter to like not air. So I could believe Sharon did. Exactly. Anything anything he even says controversial and on paper it's Sharon.

So it's one of those things where I'm like, uh-oh. What if he found out about what Sharon did and then somehow, you know, you? Use TikTok and stumbled upon our post because you said it went viral. I mean, it's, it got relatively viral. It got unusually played. He's like, I don't, I don't think this is very funny. I'm actually, I like people. I'm going to die now.

And he died. Yeah. And he said he called it. He was, he knew. He was like, because I feel like when you're that fucked up and decrepit, because apparently he probably should have died a million years ago just from how much he did drugs. The amount of drugs that guy was doing his entire life is, it's kind of. I had no idea that he was that close to him.

Like it's kind of awesome If you think about the fact he was able to like do that thing Like like the timing of that it was fucking perfect Yeah it was it was that was He might have been dead the whole time man I mean like he might have been up there just a fucking cadaver Just making it move Sharon might have been

Puppeteering switches and stuff like that It's a fucking marionette show Just like If you just zoom up just a little bit You'll see her just like Come on Ozzy Come on you know Oh shit.

Zanz, Oswald. Hello, darling. You little shit, you. They made money. Who stole the beers out of my room? I've watched a bunch of clips of the Osbournes. I've never actually seen it. The show's insane.

I actually really like that show. I really like. You like that show? Yes, it was one of the few. You enjoyed that show. It was one of the few reality TV shows that were, it was like anti-react because it was so not. The only reason it worked because it's so, it didn't work. like, you know, reality television is...

It's producers telling you to start a fight with it. It was, from what I understand, it was like the blueprint was like, this was actually just real. They were recording them. And then they would just edit together moments that were funny. Yeah. Whereas like future reality shows were just like,

all right, we're gonna instigate stuff because we can't wait for... Yeah, there was... You guys are boring. No one cares about you. We have to make people care about you versus people cared about this guy. And he was kind of funny

because of how... insane he is hilarious like he he says a lot of funny stuff like he's he's just he's a quipy funny guy it's it's it's hard to understand it's reality show pre and post the Kardashians as it happens like pre-cardashans like the original um well the osborns was the original Kardashians well yeah so it's but like the change in reality shows happened after the Kardashians that's when it turned into like hyper scripted like well no it happened during yeah because the Kardashians was there yeah they were the they were the beginnings pre and post So like it's um

What was name of the show like a big brother? Was it Big Brother? Was it in real world? Real World was the first one. That shit was crazy. The shit happened out of that shows like people should be in jail. Like 100 people should go to jail forever. Didn't I like blend a dog?

I'm pretty sure one guy like action is not a joke. Episode one. Yeah. The pilot episode. I'm pretty sure one dude like straight up like just not a joke. The dog is fighting. He's holding it down. He's holding a great dane down in a regular ninja blender.

The dog is high. The dog is 5-9. It's like he's juicing the motherfucker. Anybody wants some juice? 5-9. It's a big-ass fucking dog. I didn't make the rules, man. I don't think the biggest K-9 ever was 5-9.

Whatever. Listen. So it was him. So it was, what is it? Michael Jamal Warner, Ozzie. Then Hulk. Hulk Hogan. Brother.

Oh, Kogan, brother. That one was funny for me, though. I laughed. Yeah, I'm not sad about it. Terry Belia The person Is a massive piece of trash Like so you just

I didn't even feel remotely sad I was just like Oh man that What a bummer that I was kind of hoping that he was going He just went further and further To the right and stuff I was hoping that he was just going to be like

Oh I'm old as shit I'm going to be a better person Which a lot of terrible people end up doing Because they kind of start getting scared But he didn't do that He just like He completely ran in that direction.

Totally. I was like, fuck, man, what a fucking idiot. But I'm glad that one of his last WWE appearances he got booed. So I'm just like,

you think that did the remaining damage? I think that took the last like 10 years off his life. Just him probably expecting to get a cheap pop because I'm Hulk Hogan. But people are just like, nah, dude. Especially because I think it was in L.A. Yeah,

it was like, no, fuck off. We're not going to call men, women, brother. that's not where you are brother Anyway call me Hulk I would feel disrespectful if you didn't call me Hulk

I think it's so funny When you look into like It's his three like I remember watching like fucking wrestling documentaries That nigga sucks Of course It's like great I genuinely he's one of those people that I like

In the popular culture like the Zygai said I was like I never even remotely liked To this guy Like I hated his fucking mustache I hated like everything about it. He wasn't for our generation of 100%. Sure. He was not for our generation of wrestlers.

Our, him is the rock. That is our generation. I don't like the rock either. I mean, I used to like the rock. I love the rock a lot. I don't hate him exactly now. He's kind of like, I love those videos, by the way,

because Superman came out, all those videos of like Black Adam when he was on the promotional tour for Black Adam. Yeah. And he's like giving these like dramatic speeches. Like the structure of the DC universe is about to change.

to change. He gives a little wink to the camera and then nothing happens. Yeah, that situation's really fucked up. He tried to like strong on him into like doing it. It's really fucked what he did actually. Yeah, yeah.

But it's just, it was just, I don't know, Hogan was always an asshole. He was always a glory hog, undercut several wrestlers seeing fucking Stone Coltie Voss to talk about him and have to be respectful and being like, he's done great things for the wrestling thing.

And it's like, anything else is like, that's all I really want to talk about right now. Tell Palisilians, brother. H-H. H-H-H brother. What was that tweet that he had poop in my gym, brother? Oh, yeah.

Like, so a dog pooped in his gym. There used to be a picture attached to it, but, you know, and then he responded to somebody with poop brother, but that tweet's gone. So it just looks like he just says poop brother, H-H. H-H. And then he has another one where it's, I don't know why all the boomers,

they somehow don't know how to upload a video. And so they somehow got the name of the file so IMG something underscore dot MOV or whatever And then that was posted And I'm like, how do you do that? I don't even know how you do that I just post the video The amount of the amount

The amount The amount Well how should I say this The degree to which you understand technology Enough to understand that a link does things And to post it Is somehow incongruent With the ability not to know how to upload a

photo. You know what I mean? Like, how do you know what a link is? It feels like, it feels like, I don't know how to, how do you get to the file link of the video? Because like, yeah, that's what I'm saying. A picture I kind of understand you, they like say it's on the internet, right? And then they copy the link to it and not the actual just saving it and then re-uploading it. But the video is really perplexing. It seems like someone, instead of like, oh, I don't know how to use a canoe, I'm going to jump in the water and then swim pulling a canoe. And it's like, what are you, what are you doing? How did you get that?

That's all it works, brother. I'm getting really tired. This canoe's not really working that hard. All right. I don't get it. Dives, he puts a fucking trap on his bag, and swims the canoe across the lake.

I think this is it. This is it, brother. I got there, brother. I'm about to die suddenly, brother. H.H. H.H. Yeah, so he's gone. He's gone.

He's gone. He's gone. I was genuinely more bummed out about Ozzie, and I have no real history with Ozzie Osmore. I just know of him because so many of my friends were like, metal heads. I mean, I know Ozzie's and brutal legend. I remember I remember playing brutal

legend and that was kind of cool. He was like, he was like the guardian of metal in that game and he just kind of shows it. He's pretty good voice actor actually. He did a pretty good job in that game. He makes it crazy that he should have. He should be. The moment I saw him, I knew he was already like not long for this world

and I was like 11. I was like this guy's gonna die soon clearly, right? It was one of the reasons why he got kicked out of Black Sabbath. Or there was tension, but then there was also like, A, I know we're all partying, getting fucked up, but you're like doing it like three times, you know, like what we're doing? So, we're going to get someone that's a little bit more. Because how old is when he died? He was like 70-something.

76, I think. Yeah. Crazy long life. He was in his 50s. That was a bad like a 50-year-old when I first found out about him. He was a rough look at a 50-year-old. I mean, he was just covered in drugs. He went hard in the paint. He talked about it. And I saw an interview with his son. I forgot he had a son. Yeah. And it's funny because it took a while for his son to grow up and start actually looking

like a real person. Because if you looked at his son during like, say, the Osbourge, he looked like a almost like a character that you made. Like a British, almost like he should be in Wallace and Gromondon or something. He just, he just looked goofy at a fucking fro and stick black frames.

And he was so like, hey, dad. And it was like, what? This isn't real. Kelly would just look at a dumb alternative chick, whatever. Yeah. But like now you look at Kelly. She has a little bit of work done, but she looks very mature, looks good. Jack looks fantastic now.

He finally free. He got out that house. That's why. He almost shed his British accent, too. It's crazy. It's barely there now. It's barely there. Kelly, not, but he kind of, I think he kind of really tried to separate himself.

But yeah, he was doing an interview and he was asking like, well, what would you tell your, like, 20-year-old stuff? and don't do fucking drugs, mate. Don't fucking drugs. And then just really emphasizing like, oh, yeah, like how great he feels comparatively because he remembers. Yeah. It's weird how your fucking brain just will kill you like that,

where that feeling of drugs is so good that I know it's killing me, but I still need it. Well, it's chemicals. I mean, yeah, it's a chemical. I mean, it's outside of you to a degree. Like, I would hope that, say, evolution would speed up to be like, I need to be able. It's kind of like how they're. certain, like, uh, I was just, I was, I don't know why I was watching like a, like a documentary

about capsaicine, like the stuff that, you know, me, he's a heat sensation. Right. And how like, your body will adapt to it, you know, like, it doesn't do anything like that for other drugs. Like where, hey, like, there's certain things that, so like, you know, certain things are like, oh, man, I'm, I'm so fucking wired. I love this. I feel like there should be something. I guess it does, just not to a lesser degree. Like it does, you have to keep doing more to get the same feeling I guess it does do that never mind it's like I guess it does do that I don't know what I'm saying our brain chemistry

our brain chemistry so not we don't really understand how our brains work and that's because you don't you don't get to work on people's brains while they're actively alive unfortunately humane I don't get why you just don't have people like sign off on that because there's a there's a clear reason

why it's unfortunate but it's because of the fact that if that was the case people with unique features or traits when they're sick they've been like, oh, you're dying and it would just throw you in the fucking air. No, no, but I'm saying, like, if you just volunteer to do that. Well, the thing is that if you volunteer before you're alive, right, what happened is that, because most people are going to be like, oh, yeah, go ahead and do it to me, right?

Like, oh, are they bring diagnosed to people? Did you that they see you? No, like, no, they'll bring diagnosis to people. They'll be like, oh, I went there because I have, like, maybe like a cough or something like that, right? Yeah. And they'll be like, oh, well, things are worse than eight seem for you to lie to get you there to do shit like that to you first.

Well, that's the whole, that's the whole theory about organ donors. Yeah. But they'll do that to people that are alive. They'll do it to people that even are like, oh, I'll do it at a certain point in my life. Well, they'll be like, oh, they'll just try to bribe them or they'll take people that have like war situations. Like people will manipulate it to take advantage of people and somehow. They will do it no matter what. Before they were alive?

Yes, part of we. Sorry not before they're alive, like, while they're still alive. I was stuck. I didn't hear anything you said after that because I was like, what the fuck are you talking? They will manipulate people. I was just thinking of like, oh, that's clip. They will manipulate people into like. doing shit that they're like is not technically the most human ways going.

Of course. But they will do that. Whatever. Yes. And they will be poor people and they will be marginalized people first. It's enough to be fucked up. It's really just stupid people. It's stupid.

It's stupid. It's stupid. It's stupid enough to sign off. Yeah. Because if you're stupid enough to sign off, that's kind of the thing. It's like, if you're super enough to sign off, it's like, yeah, experiment on my brain while I'm alive. I agree. I agree with you.

But what if, but what if you're a person that's more, right? Manipulating a stupid person. What if you're a poor person doesn't have much going for them ready? And then what happened is that instead of giving you some sort of rights to respect, they're going to manipulate you into doing that in the first place. Being poor. That's the nature of it. I don't care. Yeah.

I don't care. You guys are asshole. Look, if there's, on paper it sounds like a good idea, but then in practice, it will be done fucked up. Now, I think you'd get a lot of advancement done in like a week. Yeah, 100%. You get a lot of advancement done, but it'll also be a lot of people. Like, I have, oh, negative blood when I was younger and I probably broke a ribbed. They'd be like, hey, you.

So it looks like it's cancer. And they would have just fucking killed me and done tests on me. That's cool. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing.

Whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.

Where do you imagine we are in the time? timeline of this technology. There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals.

Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. see website for full terms and conditions.

That's it's fucked. They'll do that to people. It's like, I don't even understand what you're saying. So you're saying like they would trick you into thinking you're dying? Things are way worse than they are just to do tests on you 100%. But that's not really, not really what it's horrible.

It's not really a nice thing to do though. Ah, yeah, no, he's dumb. I get it. Look, man, it wouldn't be that in affairs. I think it would just be more of like, I think it just comes out of everything else. There's a lot of things we can't do because stupid people ruin everything.

It's, if people actually, had because everybody should have autonomy and the only reason why a lot of people don't is because oh we can't trust stupid people to make their own decisions and if people were on the level what we consider the level to be responsible enough to make their own decisions in that way with like many things right like it's why the whole the old reason why we don't want guns you know everybody have a gun it's because it's because of like really it's not even crazy people right there's laws that people that are crazy they can't control it you don't want to give them stuff but it's stupid people

Stupid people are worse. Fucking cut you off in traffic. They'll get mad at you for flipping them off. That's what I mean. And then blow your face off. Well, there's also like, I'll keep my loaded gun under my desk whereby kids can reach it. Yeah, that's a stupid person.

Yeah, that's what I mean. Not so much crazy, but like genuinely dumb. Some little baby wanders around with a gun shoots through the wall and kills a grandmother. And then you're just like, well. A baby with a deal running around. I watch a lot of true crime and the same deal. There's always a parent willing to give the crazy. idiot. Like the parent isn't crazy

he's stupid. And that's what happens. It's like the crazy kid that's like Dad, I don't want a gun. I'm having these weird feelings. He's like, all right, son. That was a real thing, wasn't it? That was like, that sounds familiar. That was a story. That's one of the most recent school shoot to the kid that got the CIA It happens. It was like in the last two.

I know, but like in the last two years that was like a confirmed thing where it's like, yeah, he wanted a gun because he was angry. And I'm like, are you stupid? You bought him a gun because he was angry and he wanted a gun? The Discord kid. That's the one that like, they checked his discord or whatever.

And then they came to us. They were like, hey, are you all right, kid? And he was like, yeah, I'm fine. He's steam rising off of it. He looks like, he looks like the Grinch a little bit. And it's like, what's, all right? That's another thing where it's like, okay, I know automation shouldn't replace everything. But when it comes to the FBI reporting, I trust AI over the people.

Because the amount of times that like the FBI is notified about these dangerous kids. Yeah. And they're like, nah, like they look at, they look into it. Right.

And then they're like, ah, it's fine. And then they kill 500 people and they're like, oh, well, you know, anyone could have missed it.

I mean, yeah, I mean, he just bought 50,000 bomb making supplies. It's probably not that big of a deal. He bought three bomb making kids from Walmart.

And everybody was like, oh, it's not that big a deal. He bought a kit. It was a kit. It was right next to the fucking detergent. It was a kit.

It had fucking, sulfur uranium and all that shit uranium and Walmart it's a cheaper grade but you know it's it's enough uranium in like a great value uranium it's in like a fucking it's not even contained well

it's contained like an oxy-clean type of fucking just little tub it's an oxytum tub with lead around it in the side of the inside and that's how they contain it it's like as much lead as that's you know probably in yourself phone like that thin layer that doesn't mean anything. It's just like fucking

great value heavy metals. Could you imagine? That'd be insane. Anyway, so like, so these and then Chuck Mangione. Chuck Mangione's dead also. Do I had no idea? I had no knowledge of this guy at all. Much less known to I would say most people, especially

most people don't listen to any type of jazz or anything with a lot of brass instruments. Yeah. So you know, that's fair, but I think Oh, was he in brass against the machine? Yeah. That band where that... She pissed on that guy. She pissed on that dude, which is crazy.

She pissed a lot on him, too. It wasn't like a... It was got to, because it wasn't like a forceful piss. She was like, fuck, I need to piss badly, but I don't want to stop the show. Yeah. Because it is... That happens. Unconventional.

Even, like, when bands play, like, huge fucking sets, their breaks are very short. So I feel like a lot of times they're pissing in bottles like the rock or something. Because they don't leave long enough to go to a urinal. or Porta Potty. So they'll be like little breaks. Because I've been to shows and they'll be like, oh, okay, they'll take like a fucking minute break

and I'm like, a minute's not enough to go all the way to the urinal and come all the way. You know, they just put it off the stage. It's like, you know, they have one like nearby respectfully for that. Maybe they have something probably, but even so,

if ever tried to like piss before a commercial was over? Like say new commercials, now commercials. So they'll be like, oh, 30 second ad or something or two 30 second ads. And I'm like, okay, can beat this you know uh and then i'll go and then the piss was way long it was i feel like i can piss in a minute wash my hands get out no i i i piss in shotgun blast so i have to literally put my pelvis inside the top that's the thing the lay down on the church so if i joke my p p-hole

that that like is that how you mean stretch i mean that's through the process of jolking you're going to stretch yeah yeah because that's really so we're joking in the opposite because jokings I guess we should call it something else. You're not micro fracturing your penis. You're microtering. Okay. There we go. Okay.

What should we call it if we want to do it horizontally? Welking. Welking? Welking. Yeah, there you go. Okay. All right. Joking for with.

Welking. Okay. I like it. So we're welking. So if I whelk it, can I shotgun piss? Yes. All right. I trust you.

All right. All right. I trust you. I trust you, man. I'll report back. in a few weeks. Yeah, but so Chuck Mangione. How big my pee hole is now?

So Chuck Mangione, who is this guy? Well, I would say most people know him in my generation because of King of the Hill. Right. He just cameos, King of the Hill cameos. So that's basically our, anyone who's around my age, that's pretty, I think without King of the Hill, we probably wouldn't even know what he is actually. That makes sense. Yeah, I think genuinely that that would be the case.

So it was kind of crazy to see that waking up, what was that yesterday? or something? I think it's a crazy amount of people going away. King of the Hill in particular is losing fucking everybody. I don't know what the hell is on that cast. But I don't know if they're all on the Epstein files or what. Or they have information or what? Because they all seem to be dying because I think Dale died.

Luann died forever ago. Brittany Murphy. I guess he didn't. I didn't know that until this week. He didn't know that until I told him to like less than an hour ago. I had no fucking clue. And somebody else that John Redcorn. He's dead.

That was crazy. He got fucking shot up. It's insane. Crazy. For an argument. Some gay shit. I didn't follow up on like, because I know they're investigating. But I just went to default to I'm like, you know, I'm just going to default to what the people are saying and not care about what the cops are saying.

I think it was an argument that led to someone dying, which is still insane. Yeah. Regardless. say. He's like, what, dude? Like, don't shoot, but he's also from in Texas where, you know, of course.

Much of psychos are on. People that are so tough, but won't use their hands, but they'll use a gun and someone's life is fucking hilarious to me. But, dude, like, what's crazy, though, is that, like, what is, like, what's going on with that cast? I don't know.

I think Mike Judge is picking them off. Oh. I think Mike Judge is in the Epstein files. Oh. And then they felt, Like, we should probably say something. And, yeah. Well, there was that theory.

But then there was the other theory that he just wasn't paying the other people that much. And they were going to say he was in the Epstein files to get more money. So now he's going to, he's killing him more. And he was like, I don't want to give them more money. Yeah. Because that would have been solved by just paying them more. And he was like, no, I'm going to kill him. So instead he paid hitman to go.

Yeah. So he paid the money that he could have paid to the actors. he paid Hitman. He paid to a guy, the real life, 8 and 47, there is a real one. Mm-hmm. And he dressed up as that crazy neighbor in Texas and blasted John Redcorn.

That's crazy. You look at the footage and it's age in 47 doing all of that. He's doing everything. He's doing all of it. And it's like, he's in one, he's in more than one place at the same time.

He's that official of the place like, deal, that's, he's the cop that came and got the body. and he's also still being questioned at the same time. What's happened? And he's the gun. He's that good, man.

That's the only way you can have that many video games. You have to be that good. Dude, have you seen all the edits of like the Epstein's camera where there's like all the various characters running over? Yeah, the AI generated. I will say like. Virgil and Dante jumping off the banister afterwards.

There's Agent 47 going in. There's Batman spring. The fucking gel. There's a lot of respect. That's great. AI generated. stuff sucks generally. Sometimes I think it can be well, like,

sometimes I think there's like value in it. Those AI generated videos of the camera angle aiming towards Epstein's door with all the fucking crazy characters coming in. The craziest one that I saw was, it's such a crazy pull. But it was just like the first boss fight in Dead Rising with the guys in the courtyard

in the car. The guy's in the Jeep? Yeah, the guys, so you just see Epstein's door, and then a Jeep, the Jeep comes in and crashes through it. It's the guy with a turret in the back in the yellow, in the orange jumps in the orange jumps. That's crazy. That's crazy. That fight sucks. That fight is not fun at all.

That fight is so not fun. It's crazy. I got to that part in the game, in the remake or the remaster or whatever, and I put it down. Like, I just, I was like, I'm not feeling this at all. There's so many problems with that. First of all, you don't move fast. you have nowhere near the first time you have to interact with them you absolutely don't have the weapons to deal with them right and then you have to go past like you have to go past them the

first time to get to the point where you can progress more of the game so there's a bunch of zombies running around yeah and then it's you in a courtyard fucking limping holding a camera I hated that shit it's it's a really bad the thing that sucks about it too is that like if you're trying to if you're trying to save everybody and then the people just like, they're defenseless. And so they run and then they die and then you're like, fuck. That game pissed me off though because it's like I don't understand the logic of how the world works. And I don't mean like narratively like how are the zombies like you know, I don't mean like that shit.

I mean like there's a timer, right? And so if you leave people alone like off screen, they will take damage. Like they'll take the assumption will be like zombies are getting them. Yeah. Right. but Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM.

I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna, and I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to that, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side.

For example, if anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive, so we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it.

We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway.

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See website for full terms and conditions. If I leave them in a place that I know is safe where I know nothing can get to them, they'll still take damage anyway. Yeah. And so I'm just like, well, fuck this. Like, I don't, I can't engage with this. It's too annoying. fee. I know someone that did it because they had the Mega Buster.

Really poor coding. What's crazy about it is that it's really poor. It means design. That's more design and coding. Well, it is both really. It is a design, but you use the code to design, right? The thing that's crazy about it though is like if you leave like if you leave an area and you come back, everything responds. Yeah. So like everything stays there but then it replenishes if you go back. But then the people, if they're in a safe place, still take damage.

Like I couldn't like the logic of the world I was like I don't know how any of this I can't I can't trust the game Well you gotta get them to the safe rooms Right it's not what you have to get them to safe rooms And they'll be safe in the safe room I don't mind them being safe in the safer I just think it's like if if I can only choose

To leave them alone where they're gonna get in my zombies Or bring them into a battle field Where a boss will kill them immediately Yeah but if I'm not mistaken don't you bring them to the safe room So you don't get hurt I think if you leave them roaming throughout the area They'll get hurt but I thought if you go out to the safe Sometimes you have to bring them through

locations. It was just annoying. Like I hated, I hated not understanding. I was the fucking camera, that fucking like backpacker motherfucker. Oh,

I hate that guy. Dude, I hated him so much. I got the shotgun and I tricked him into being in one of the little, um, one little fucking kiosk and I fucking slaughtered him.

It was so funny. I have weird feelings. I was like a maniac when I was doing it. I fucking got you can't kick me anymore. I have weird feelings. I have weird feelings about that game because I remember playing that game for the first time and it blew me away because I was just like this is crazy what I'm seeing, like, just like the amount of zombies on screen and shit.

Like it felt next gen at the time. Yeah. But now I'm like, I don't know if I could play this. It's a fun game still. It's just, it's a really rough. I mean, it's dated, man. If he just moved faster. I play sleeping dogs, like the definitive edition.

Oh, really? When? I was like, uh, I forgot. But I was, you know, I got it on Steam. And I was like, oh, I'm excited. Like, I haven't played this game in a minute. And then I stopped when you started street racing because the car feels like, I don't know, a coffin.

It's so heavy and just lifeless. I was like, this feels so bad. I just stopped playing. That sucks. I love that game. It's a good game. That game is absolutely disrespect. What's an Asian mafia?

Because you're a psychopath in that game. I mean, you can be. And you're supposed to not be like the fucking episode where like the episode. He says you're a psychopath. You mean you're a psychopath. Well, no, the shit they have you do in the fucking triad is crazy. Well, yeah, I mean. Because you have to, you have to work with.

What crime game is it? Like, Grand Toto is like that. I understand that. Nico is like a great character, but he's also insane. Like, the shit that you're doing is ridiculous. You're like sniping people. Ridiculous. No, no, it is right.

But the thing is that it's not attached to like this like the triad which is real funny. It's like a bunch of Asian people just doing kung fu and beat the fucking to them. And it's like the fucking rooftop fucking arena fights where you can like throw people. off buildings. Hell yeah. And you're like, I'm still a cop. And it's like, bro, you just kicked a door closed through someone's head. You are insane.

I feel like it's an accurate depiction of like modern day like Hong Kong or something. Modern day, modern day Korea town. Contemporary Hong Kong. Contemporary Hong Kong is very much like that. I think so, actually. I think I think I think if you interview Jackie Chan, he would confirm. He would confirm. He was like, oh, sorry.

Sorry about that. I was going to speak in Mandarin. My apologies. Yes, it does get like that. I was about to speak in my, uh, my, my movie, uh, tongue. My movie. Uncle. Uncle. That's, it's Uncle.

Ridiculous. Carter. Carter. So anyway. So anyway. But yeah, I don't know how we got. But yeah, those, those AI, dude, the, oh, yeah. The AI generated videos of people walking into Epstein's file or walking into Epstein's, uh,

cell and just murdering him is hilarious. Hager 47. What is the funniest. He, like, he walks up to you and, like, look, from back and forth that opens it. The Dead Rising Boss just really got me because I'm like, why would you even think the people that do shit like that?

Right. Those deep cuts you were like, who thought of that? They have to be around our age. They have to be around our age and they have to like, I remember police, oh prison.

Prison, they were in prison. They did it. Yeah, that's the thing too. That's what's crazy about it too. It's like it's lower accurate kind of. Yeah.

Yeah. Actually. God damn. I hated that fight. Oh my goodness. I need to see that. Like specifically I need to see that one. I got to find it.

The Batman one is funny, dude. It's funny because the AI doesn't know how to handle drawings. So he just like sprays and then the bat. It's just the shape of a bat. It's really, it's good stuff. Every time I would do that, I would walk up to it as close as possible. And I'm like, why does it not hurt at all? Well, he's batmy plot armor, bro.

He's plot armor man. Talk. I love that video. I love how he can put it on. He can put it on people. When he kicks people into the fucking, gas station thing and it blows up and they fly away and it's like Bruce.

I found it. I found it immediately. It's ridiculous. Look at this. If you look up Epstein Dead Rising You'll have to scroll through by the you'll have to scroll through some question really questionable shit But So it

It's right It's really stupid. It is really stupid But like I saw it I was like What a? The I was like what a? did even do that is so like what a way because I didn't even remember I don't think I remember that boss fight independently you know what I mean I have to be reminded of it of course yeah of course

but then like seeing I was like dead rising what that boss specifically that's not even the most iconic boss from that game really it's the clown I think right clearly I think it's that I think it would have to be I think it's that fight but yet a clown is definitely I think that's just the most notorious right it's the most annoying that's the one that's burned into my brain is that fight? Is that fight? Well, that's because it's the first one. It's the one that in the beginning. It's like the tutorial boss basically. Yeah, it's Yeah, it's as soon as you first

get out of the main places. That's the first thing you encounter. Yeah. I hate this. You got to get past this. Yeah. If you could just put down the camera and run, that's that game would be an entirely different experience. If you could just not be holding on to the camera

and hobbling. That game is crazy. Like the idea you could shoot upskirts of zombies and get points for it. So Japanese. It's hilarious. What was it? Erotica points? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's back when Capcom, that's

before Capcom decided to chill. They got rid of that in the remake. Of course. I think it's a bummer. That's when they were back when they were Waddling. That's like Resident Evil five time and you're beating up Africans mercilessly. Cool. I mean, you had to do it. There's no way around it. I cannot wait. That game's remake. I'm

upset. I don't, I do not, especially since I'm not playing Leon, I don't care. I don't. I don't care about nine. I don't care. I'm gonna play it. I think he'll be in it. I'm gonna play.

He'll be in it, but I just, I'm, I'm being a biased idiot. What does he be able to do? Fair enough. That's what's crazy. Like, what is he like, is he gonna be like teleporting, kicking zombies in the space by this point? Like, what, what? Well, I like, he's so off the chain. But like everybody.

But like, the lore is morphing to mold that gives you powers. Like, I feel like he's now finally has a worthy adversary. You know what I mean? I think he would have been fun. I think he would have, David Dimmertes would have grabbed him. He'd be like, what are you doing?

He would have just beat her up real bad. And it would have been over. She would have turned it to the drag. And he would have had like a quick time event and kicked her in the mouth twice. She would have died. I mean, to be like,

to be, for how fantastic all the stuff was. Like, even like when you fight Heisenberg, it's so crazy. That fight is off the rail. I was just laughing. It was one of those fights.

I'm just laughing because how stupid it was. I don't remember. What was it? like I don't remember that fight You got a mech. You're essentially like a meh

and they're like a mobile suit and then fucking you're dealing with trash and that motherfucker he's throwing metal at you he's magnitoing at you and he's terrified of Chris because Chris is like

that's such and sex with Chris is crazy because those werewolves mean nothing like it's like oh they were kind of scary for you but you eventually like get your bearings

and weapons to stop off you get your weapons you who whip on you get melee that knock them back like in droves. You hit one and like three of them go flying. And they're like,

should we keep fighting this guy. I mean, that's, they shouldn't. I love that game so much. It's ridiculous. Yeah. But anyway,

punching piece of shit's here too. Oh, man, that guy can fucking punch boulders. Let's get out of here. Who's the next, who's the next one? Who's the next person on the list? Clinton.

You think Bill Clinton? I'm actually astonished that he isn't dead currently. He looks so scary. I saw a picture of him 10 years ago, he looked like a fucking drowger. So like I don't understand. Remember he looked,

he looked half dead when he was at Aretha Franklin's funeral. Yeah, he did. Staring at fucking around a Dundee. That was the thing that like gave him, like he was about to die because he was so bored. And like he was like thinking about how like, oh, Ruth of Franklin. She was like fat and stuff.

He was like thinking about like how like, oh. I take that to her. Then he saw Ruth of Franklin and he was like, wow, I'm, I literally was two seconds away from death. Now he can't stop thinking about trying to assault her. You know,

so that's what keeps him. alive. She would have been on the island. That and the That and the, uh, Clinton. I never, that was a little bit before my time

doing Clinton impressions. I think I only learned it from like animaniacs and stuff. Ah, yeah. I can't why you would have been he was in the fucking theme song. Wasn't he playing the sacks?

Well, Clinton plays the sacks. Then he comes down and starts playing the sacks. Yeah, he was. That's crazy. You're right. I totally forgot about it. Anyway, yeah. Bill Clinton.

Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton. I'd be nice. rest in peace. he died He dies now Do we like Imagine we like

We somehow are on time We need to make a parody Or something We need to make a parody or something We need to just Cause like who do we There's a few people like Oh let's do a parody of Trump

Let's do a parody of Uh There's a guy named Ronnie Radke And I think that should die You know it'd be great Yeah Uh You really annoying

Trump goes without saying obviously Yeah But uh Maybe just Talking about it Since you know He's he's all steaming Fuming

Oh yeah he's fuming About the South Park Maybe he's going to get so mad he's just going to die I heard people talk about like if there's reports of him like throwing shit I don't know how true that is though That seems a bit crazy even for Trump Like I can't imagine him throwing I can't imagine having the strength to throw anything

I think he threw himself on the floor I maybe did that maybe flopped around a little bit Like he did an episode That's crazy Look man it's pretty The reason why like Okay so everybody knows Even if you didn't see you know that Matt and Trey

just went hard on the pain on Trump, right? Paramount, 27th season, they debuted it, Paramount Plus, and... 1.5 billion dollar deal, I think they just signed. Yeah, over like, what was it? What was it? I think it was five years? Something, yeah, I think so. Like 10 episodes a year for, I think for five years or something shit like that. They're billionaires, basically. Yeah. And so they, so they got this deal and immediately, it seems like they're just trying to completely tank it. It seems like they're just completely like completely going after Paramount trying to sink the merger that they're trying

to get past. Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, I already passed. Well, right. But like, but yeah, but gave him a fucking headache. And I appreciate... Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata.

We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is... answer, what is the future of computing? Whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines.

Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture, of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton?

By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight,

Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Because they're probably the only people that I recognize that they know how much money they have and how set they've been for a very long time. That's like, who gives a shit? Even if we take, even if this deal gets tanked, we already have immense amount of wealth. Yeah, they have more than they could ever hope to spend or hope to even do anything with.

So it's like, yeah, they were, they're clearly like, well, if the show gets canceled, I mean. I mean, it just means we don't have to work anymore. Yeah. And I think 100, I think that's 100 from what they want. They do it because why not? But if there's a reason, it's kind of like me, what's the game that I'm going to live show, Ray Shadow Legends. Like, it's in a state that it's like, I just need one reason for further to be a

max Exodus. And I would feel very content with being like, fuck this game forever. but because of a lot of people, the same reason I'm like, man, I've been playing this game for X amount of years. I don't want to just leave it. You know, I don't want to just leave for no reason. But you kind of want there to be a good reason

to be like, fuck this, shut down, I feel good. That was me with Destiny for a while. Yeah. I played it last night. Yeah, I haven't played it a while. Because I was like, I don't know, whatever. You don't have it on my console anymore. I've given up entirely.

I played, I got to the pool I could play on PC. I played trials on PC twice. and I was like, oh, this is horrible. I don't know. That's not a PVP game to me. I don't know why you bother with that. I like the PVP actually a little bit, but I was like, oh, I just, I can't,

this is not like I'd rather play so many other, I'd rather play cards games over than other, like, video games in general right now. But like in general. That's so crazy to me. I love card games. That is actually like, borderline psychotic to me.

I don't, I think that's, it's crazy. If that was psychotic, magic wouldn't have made $2 billion in two billion dollars in two days. I mean, that's like saying Halliburton wouldn't have made, you know,

billions of dollars if they weren't evil. I mean, still, I mean, there's a, there's a, people like it clearly. Sure, yeah.

I just, I just, I literally, like, and I don't mean this in a facetious way. I literally, I cannot,

like, on a fundamental level, understand the appeal of a card game. You don't, you don't have the, like, like, you can't engage, and stuff like that.

No, it's just a, it's a paper. Yeah, I think, I'm just like, what do you do? What is this?

I get it that it's, it's an extremely old medium, but a lot of people hold on to it right like it's like a the classic i want to just sit down and read a book sure it's like in the same way like checkers or something like that it's a it's an older form but it's like the interactions that come from it and to be able for card games it's the deck building aspect of it why i like i like i like it and like the identity of the cards that isn't that just like a mini kind of gambling thing though the whole deck building shit card like buying cards and boxes is

absolutely gambling well yeah that's why i'm like absolutely gambling i don't do that anymore that aspect of it is what ruined like just competition because then it became the whales. Yeah. The bad or the best. Because they have the money. And it turned into an idea of like that's why they have to dance on this really like

middle ground particularly like magic is the one that's most fucked. Magic and Pokemon are fucked. Those ones are like ruined. But like when I play like I play commander in magic was pretty much like an idea you have a character that kind of encapsulates that the leader of the game and then you build a deck like a bunch of single cards to be able to play out the

best through that. And there's a lot of cards that cost a lot of money. So, unfortunately, but have the most money obviously in every card game we're going to do the best. I can say people have, like, the person that has the most expensive car, but the most in hands it's going to win no race more often than not, you know, like our street race more often than not. Yeah, even if they're not as skilled. Yeah. Their shit is just too good. Too good. It's just that kind of

the edge. So yeah, that's the whole reason why, like, I don't buy packs. I buy singles. And they're supposed to try to moderate, like, it being a fact, like, oh, depending on how rare a card is, how useful a card is, what the card says. There's so much stuff that goes into it. They always say shit like that and they always talk about balancing, but it's like at the end of the day,

they make their money from the whales and dragons. So it's like, why the fuck would they? Two million percent. Why would they, it's the same thing. Me bitching about Raid is the same fucking concept where it's just like, oh, the game's not for me anymore because even when they release new content, it's just, I'm like, oh, I'm completely priced out of it.

I can't. Me playing, you have to spend stupid amounts of money. I'm like, I'm not doing it. I'm not going to do it. The longer it goes on, dude. Like, my uncle has cards from magic that are, like, from, like, the alpha. He has, like, a long time ago. So they have, like, land, right?

Like, you have, like, the swamps, the mountains, planes, all those things. My uncle has an alpha deck with, like, he has the double of all of them. Those cards are worth, like, $7,000 apiece, right? They don't print them anymore. And it's, like, why don't they print them again? They're just out of the game forever. Right. And it's like, I want to go take it from me.

But also is like, is it right for me to go and take those off of somebody else? It's like, that's like a fucking... Are you talking about robbing people? No, take him. Actually, like, can I have these? And he'll be like, I guess, we want to smoke weed. Oh, because they don't know how much it's worth? He kind of knows how much it's worth.

But he's like, these are doing nothing for me. You play the game at least. I'd rather give them to you. Someone that will use them. Listen, if even if I played the game and I had a card that was worth thousands, like I'm selling it. I'm fucking selling it. Yeah, I guess it's more like you're my family. I love you.

Here you go, and it's like, I'm selling that shit. Thanks. I wouldn't sell them. I'd hold on to them. Unless I go down on like really hard times, I wouldn't sell them. Because it's like, that's a gift that my uncle gave to me. You know? I don't sell a gift.

I also feel the same way. People should feel the same way, even if I'm like, this is really sacred, but they're like, damn, this shit's worth that shit load of money. It's only, it's only if I, if I, because I have a few gifts that are like worth like, I have a pair of freaking Jordans that are worth like $4,000. And it's like, I'm not going to sell them because like they were giving to me as a gift. I don't even use them. So they're just effectively gathering dust in my closet.

But it's like, I don't know. They were given to me, you know? Like, I'm investing that money. Depends on what it is. Like, if I care about it, then I'll. If you care about it. Like, there's like, uh, like, and there's also things that I regret selling. Like hardware, like, old hardware and things like that.

Or like, even just like games that I would trade them in. Just like, I've never, I've never felt good about trading in a game or like selling something that I already own in that regard. I find I can detach from things. But it's like I, I'm not. If I'm not, if someone gives me out of like a gift, I don't like getting rid of it. I don't like it. That's fair.

It's just sentimental. It's like, but if I, if I feel like I'm not sentimental over every gift though, I guess. Exactly. It's like, if like my parents give, gifted me socks for Christmas or something. Oh yeah, but I mean, like, I'm, I get it. I get it. I have something that like is worthless in the real world, but it's, it's cool to me where, uh, when I hit 100K, K, uh, subscribers on YouTube. like they're like had some champagne oh yeah and then like uh the the the the the thing that like holds

the cork you know the little thing you untwisted and shit like that it was made into like this little memento that had like like it like says like a hundred count it and stuff and it's just cool and it's like oh that's really cool like you took some trash and then you made it into like a little thing and so i still have that like in a box somewhere you know on my stuff like so stuff like that Like I like shit like that But man I remember my friend Joe was like Hey man

I don't need this guitar anymore And stuff like that He's like please just whatever you do Don't sell it And then I think like A year later I sold it Yeah That's kind of shitty

That's crazy Asked you and you agree Like that's like you don't It depends on how bad times are Like if I'm really If I come before I'm going to New York Getting those cards

And they're going out They're going out The fucking business You know To be fair I was Speaking of that, I was... Speaking of that,

huge announcement, Kingston's fire. That would suck. It would suck for you guys too. You'd lose something special here, but I'd be like, hey, I get it.

Whatever. I would just watch from the outside. Just watch... Hate commenting. Wild. That would be funny. A wild hate comment. That would be fucking insane.

I would say shit if PSs is not Kingston. There's some things I'm sending out. That's crazy. There's some things I'm sending them. Like, I have a, I have the little capsule of ricin that I used to kill. Hulk Hogan. I still have that. Nice.

That's cool. You still have that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll never sell it. Don't sell it. And also, it's completely fine because I don't think the police care. Yeah, I mean, he's... They threw him in a trash bag and they killed them a fucking compelling. Cool. Because I'm sure somehow Hulk Hogan is fucked over like

police too. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah. Like, this story is, first of all, the most pathological liar in history. Insane. Just right over a cop, brother, H. H. Like, it's crazy how much he's lied about. everything. He was always going to be the bassist for Metallica, brother, but then I got something like, like, just for no reason. He said that? Yeah, he inserts himself into everything. He's fair. He is

musician, but Metallica, no, he was absolutely not going to play bass for Metallica. It's fucking stupid. Why would they say, the thing that's crazy, the thing that's crazy about a lie like that is like, why are you lying publicly about things that the, you're involving people in your lie that could easily. So easily verify. Yeah. Just like. Yeah. Just like. Like, well, what did they say? They said absolutely not. It's so easy to verify since everybody knows Metallica. So it's like, hey, I'm a huge journalist.

I'm going to call Metallica because I've interviewed them a thousand times. It's not even a smart way to lie. Like, it's not even like you're using like some band that's like, you know, nothing or like a foreign, like a foreign indie band or something. You know what I mean? Yeah. It should have been, even like a smaller well-known band. Trump is my dad, brother, H.H. It's like you're older.

I don't think he is actually. Even so, they are in the same relative space. You can't be his dad. He did he was three. Age age, brother, age, age, brother. But yeah, so, what is it? The South Park thing is crazy.

They just used Trump's face straight up. They saddammed him. Yeah, they saddammed him. They introduced them. They mirrored the same shit. Yeah. You know, even the, so in the South Park movie in particular, there was a scene where, say, Saddam keeps pulling out like his dick. It's a dildo, but it just looks like a real dick.

And it's like huge and shit. But like, so they did kind of the same thing with that. But Trump, they just kept emphasizing all small as fucking dick is. From that picture that had leaked before. And, uh, it has a fucking. Illurately tiny dick. That's the thing like that, the weird thing about that picture, it's never, as far as I saw, it was never authenticated. Yeah.

But I think only because people were. scared. Like scared to authenticate because he sues everybody. Right. Yeah. I think, but from, it looks completely real. It looks real to me. It looks completely real. I don't know if it's real. Yeah, we don't know. It's fairly convincing to me. It seems completely, especially with the, I just don't know why, usually these things are authenticated. And that kind of gives me the indication that I'm like, oh shit. It's conspicuous. Yeah. That it isn't authenticated. So I'm like, okay. And maybe it is now because now that this came out. Maybe some people are going to like do some with it. Who knows? But, uh, yeah, I, I, it's very

clear with the way that Trump speaks about, he talks about his hands. He was insecure about his hands being small because what the, what that says, he's talked about Arnold Palmer's big as dick, which, which is, he's envious. That was weird. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, definitely weird, but it's obvious that he has fucking little dick syndrome where like, he's very upset that he's, like, over six feet and his dick's small, comparative to his fucking body. there's a what's the amazing atheist uh that was he doesn't give a shit though but that's he's like six six and then um that video released of him like pouring hot water on his dick oh yeah and then people like Jesus Christ his penis is small and he's like yeah I got a small dick he's funny that

he doesn't care he doesn't give a fuck at all and that's the different you know like Trump actually cares hot water on his dick uh you know he's into that kind of stuff I guess there was also a banana he showed a banana up his ass I didn't see that I saw, though, I saw, uh, it is, but yeah, damn, damn. I saw the blurred out hot water. That was funny. Was he whaling or was he just enduring? He was like, you can tell it's hot.

He's making a little like, oh, oh, like he's, I can't remember exactly how it sounds, but I remember him reacting in a way that I'm like, that's, that is in, I feel like I'm so boring when it comes to sex, dude. Because like, you, you see what some other people are doing and I'm like, what, well, Look, TJ's an icon. He is an icon. I mean that unironically. That dude is like internet history.

He is. Sorry I'm white. Sorry I'm ill. Like they're whipping himself in the back. That's a good one. Good stuff. That's a good one. But, um...

Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business. My one advice to them. Pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side.

For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software

30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. Wow. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology,

is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons, Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for storewide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, ORA-Ida, Silk, Capri-Sung, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. I don't know like that episode was clearly

just to let's just blow shit up yeah I hope they keep going I hope it gets worse from here and out I hope they keep doing it it has to

it can be one and it can't be one and done right no way if they got Saddam they got Saddam reincarnated as Trump

I love that they don't even do an impression it's just it's just the same he's like hey like they're not even trying

which is funny yeah come on Dang. It's so good. And that weird fucking video at the end. Dude, where they're like, AI video is crazy?

I don't think it's, the thing that's, so is it AI or is it deep fake? So everybody kept saying AI. I feel like it's deep fake more than an AI. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not,

especially with the, because the, the finger that was supposed to be like the penis at the end. Yeah. I'm like, I don't think AI is capable of that. Yeah, that looks like a real prop.

Yeah. And then there's also just the way it moves. Like, I've seen enough videos of AI moving. Yeah. Where I'm like, it seems like, an AI deep fake face. I felt like the face was just date fake, but this was an actual person.

Yeah, he's got a fat guy. A fat guy. Because that's what I think. Unfortunately, everything's called AI nowadays. So that's just what it's just in the zeitgeist. It's AI. I mean, look, to be fair, it could be AI. It might just have made yet another leap. It's very possible. I have no idea. I'm saying from my estimation of what I understand about my calibration towards the AI content that I've seen so far. Yeah. That didn't look entirely AI to me. That wasn't the first, it didn't look AI at all to me. It definitely, I would say, I would, like you would say, deep fake, or I wouldn't even call it deep fake, because that's not what they call it in, uh, in cinema, for example. Oh, right. Yeah. It's just like a facial. Yeah. Like, so it just seems like it was that.

because again, to your point, though, if it was AI, holy shit, because crazy, that look fantastic. Um, yeah. I didn't think it was kind of funny that it was, it's, it's very clear that a lot of people stopped watching South Park a long time ago, especially, um, the media, one thing that they kept harping on was how impressive it was how the fast the turnaround was talking about. I'm like, they've been doing that format for forever. Yeah, pretty much more time. Like for whenever they figured out how to like, oh, we can make episodes a week. When we start at the beginning of the week and at the end of the week, it's done.

This is documentary. So, and that came out how many fucking years ago? I think the issue with South Park though is like, I know, and I know this from like a personal standpoint. I just straight up don't know, or for a long time anyway, before this whole thing happened. I didn't really know where the fuck it even was and that's kind of the truth with a lot of shows I don't know where to watch that like if people tell me

we were talking about Justice League the last episode even if I wanted to watch it my thought would be like my immediate thought was like oh Cartier Network because that's where I would have watched it as a kid but I'm like that I don't know where it is I have to look it up and I'm like eh you had to tell me it was on HBO

and I'm like why would I think really like think about what HBO is as a brand why would Justice League be on HBO versus anything else? Because HBO owns a company and owns Carton Network. Well, Yeah, but like how did, Warner Brothers. I don't know.

I don't know that. I get, I get, you know what I mean? Like, I'm not like in people's portfolios. That is, that's where I differ so much because my brain is like,

just look it up. That seemed intuitive. I understand what you're saying. Like, just look it up always. I understand what you're saying, but there's like, if I'm deeply,

if I'm curious about something, I'll look it up. But if I'm like, really only like kind of teetering on the edge of curiosity about it, it's like, yeah, maybe I'll watch it. I don't necessarily care that much to look it up.

Especially if like, all right, conversation is done. I'm going to go off and do something that I have to do. And then I'm probably going to forget about what the fuck. It used to be South Park's on Comedy Central. And I knew that because that was the only place that I could see it. I couldn't even watch like clips on YouTube or Twitter. So there wasn't even that crossing of wires. So like I just remember Comedy Central South Park.

Comedy Central Daily Show. You know? Yeah. For me, for me it was like I started watching it again like maybe in 2000. When we started watching it again around 2000 like, pre-COVID? Yeah, we were in the apartment. Yeah, we just started watching South Park again.

And that's when I got back on the bandwagon. And it's crazy because I kind of stopped in like 2011, 10. Like they did the frightening or the stint, the fucking giant fucking hamsters or the guinea pigs. I don't remember that one. Or the startling. The startling. They did that with their fucking guinea pigs.

And I did that part. Is that like a happening thing? Yeah. Whereas one of the giant guinea pigs, like people and they fucking went to fucking South America and some bullshit. And I stopped watching it then. And I remember I jumped back on it around the same time where they brought the man bear pig thing back. And I was around towards the tail end of Trump's first presidency.

And then I went back and I went from season five all the way through it again with Lily. I watched all of South Park again. Yeah. And that show was crazy because there's a lot of hits. There's some flops. It's remarkably consistent considering how long it's been on the air. Like it's definitely like falling. Like there's some season where I'm like, I don't know about that one.

Yeah. I didn't hate it. But like it just wasn't really good South Park to me. But it's not like The Simpsons or like Family Guy. No, it's not. We're like, yeah. I actually have no opinion on the fall off of Family Guy because I stopped watching it so long and I haven't seen any new content to compare to the old stuff. That's just me though.

I haven't seen it. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like new. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chart. Chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business?

My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind it. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it.

We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online.

Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th, on. pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Family Guy's weird because I don't even really care about the show. I care about the clips.

Like I'll laugh at it. Like a modern day family guy, like I would never sit down and watch an episode of it. But like there's usually a clip from like some recent episode that I think is hilarious. I think family guy in South Park kind of fell really hard into the Flander, like the, not South Park. Family Guy is Simpsons. obviously the flanderization of characters

They both fell into that habit Of like just simply every character becomes like Their worst most ridiculous versions of themselves Where Meg is just fucking self-harm And fucking ignored Peters is a drunk asshole Lois is just like a vindictive bitch Brian is the liberal sellout piece of shit

Fucking Stewie's just gay and a genius He's just gay and a genius He's not even really evil anymore Yeah he's just kind of weird He's a gay. He's a smart baby. Not really. I guess you could only keep that up for so long.

That was the big way he killed. Remember, they did the fucking reality thing. Oh, he kills Lois. Yeah. He kills it and the reality falls apart afterwards and somebody becomes a president of some bullshit. Yeah, I can't remember the last season that I saw of that specifically. But yeah, everything, after a long time, it's going to be almost damn near impossible to keep it just as fresh. Even I watched the latest seasons of, or at least I started watching season 11 of Futurama.

And it was like... Oh, the newest one? Yeah. And it's like on Hulu. And I was like, this is fine. But... Do you have Hulu? I do.

Have you seen the new... I've heard good things about the new season of always sunny, actually. I'm gonna gear up to... Because I skipped actually a handful of seasons. Yeah. And so I, last night, I started... I should start probably on season 15 or 16. I probably 15.

But I just started watching 14. Oh, okay. In my memory... Is it the Ireland one or no? No. Well, at least... That's 15. Oh, okay.

In my memory, I was thinking, what was the most significant thing I remember last watching? And it was the end of season 13 when he had the interpretive dance, like, to come out just dead. And I was like the most significant. I was like, okay, let me start watching 14. And so far, it still holds like they watch Frank Choke, like at the dinner table and they didn't save them. That episode was so funny. And then now the one I'm watching, they just got into texting, which it's good. so, but it's, season 14 is, I'm like, damn, this is just as good as, you see the monkey yet?

It's crazy. No, season. I don't remember the season. 17 now, right? They're at, I think 17, yeah. So, that's so crazy. That is so insane. There's no way they thought that was going to happen.

No way. They also look old now. It's crazy. Yeah, except for Charlie, except for Charlie, kind of looks fine, but everyone else looks. They look older, yeah. Old. Well, they should. Yeah.

There's even a joke about that. They're like, what are you talking about going to bed early? He's like, what you're in your 40s? Like, yes, you are too. That is one of my favorite Dennis delivers. We're the same age. Oh, yeah. What's the same age?

He is so good at delivery, man. I'm sad that he's not in other things. Yeah. Or like more of, I feel like he's like one of those. Do you got typecasses? I think so because he's like, he's a, well, he was in that Blackberry movie where it was like, he was kind of serious. And that was apparently very good. But like, I feel like he's like one of those people where it's like, that's kind of a missed opportunity.

Like there's a lot of untapped potential in that guy. He doesn't get a. fuck as he's on one of the most lucrative comedy shows ever. I think he actually realized it because he left for a while. He did right? He left for like a season or two. I don't I don't remember how long it was. He left for I. How long did he leave? I think it was like a setup. The joke was that he was leaving. Are you sure? I think so. I don't think he was gone for a whole season. That would be wild. I think he was at the end of the season he came back. Maybe. You might be right. I think it was at the very end of the season. I don't know. I got to watch through always

signing again. I don't have Hulu and I tried to sign up for it again recently because I wanted to see it. And then just wouldn't let me do it, which is fucking fascinating to me. So I was like, okay. Hulu's TVUI is so bad. It is unbelievable. The worst thing about it is if you want to show, like I have the whole deal or I got it through Hulu, so I have Disney Plus and whatever else. Yeah, that's what I was trying to do. And it doesn't have a search bar if you go to the other stuff.

So say, for example, if you go to the section of, oh, let me go to Disney Plus now while I'm in Hulu. and then it's just the interface. So I'm like, so you need to back out and then just intuitively know exactly what you want to watch because then it'll search everything together. But I'm like, then why are you giving me an option

to click on Disney Plus and open it up? And then there's not a search bar for specifically Disney Plus why are using Hulu. That's weird as fuck. It's brother. It's... Because I have the combination too.

It's bad, brother. I have the combination of all of them because I got the... You got the HBO. one? Yeah, I have the HBO Disney Plus. I'm about to cancel mine so I can get that because it's $17.

It's cheaper. It's HBO Disney Plus. Can you share Hulu Lions? I don't know about any more. I don't know. I'll share mine with you guys if I can if you can. If you have one. I just want to watch Always Sunny and it won't let.

Dude, it charged me three bucks and then it wouldn't let me sign in. Isn't that insane? You can call them to fix that though. Call them so an Indian guy can pick up and not help me? Yeah. And they keep doing it until one of them helps you. One of them will help you.

I had a dream that I was scamming an Indian scammer. That's crazy. You were a reverse scamming. I was because I kept watching those videos or those guys that fucking do that. Yeah, yeah. And like, there's just one that keeps playing on my head because he's screaming so loud because Oh my God.

Yes. Like, Do not read the event. Why would you do that? Oh, I remember that one. I remember that one. I had never seen that video.

Yeah. Until like two days ago. Oh, interesting. I was talking to eye blind about it. Oh, my God. I don't remember what the fuck we were talking about. But he sent it to, you ever seen that video?

And I'm like, what the hell are you talking about? And he sent me this clip. And I'm like, you, I've never seen this. So it's weird that it came up just now. Do not read it. Do not call. Why did you do that? Do not do that.

Do not redeem it. I will redeem it. My name is redeem. My name is redeem. Dude, that's so funny. That's a bothering now. Redeem is not a bad. If it wasn't a verb,

Yeah. It wouldn't be spelled to somebody clearly, but also that's still funny. Well, it would be I am redeemed. Well, I think it would be A, maybe, redeem. Or I. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell,

host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing.

Whether it's coming up with algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.

Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Kondo? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing,

visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, aura, Ida, silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings.

Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy. drive up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. No. Like, redeem. Redim.

Not redeemed. I feel like that guy from, I can't remember. He's from Southeast Asia. I don't remember. But his name's Batman Submarman. No. Yes. Yes.

He has a license. His name's Batman Superman. Is his middle name versus? I don't know. I. Hope so. That is so stupid. I'll pull him up.

That is so stupid. I'm pulling to stick up. That is so tough. Oh, it's Ben, unfortunately. What? Bin. Batman.

Oh, Batman bin Superman. Maybe Bin means, maybe Bin means versus where he's thrown. I hope so, dude. That is like, that is so stupid.

Oh my God. That is so stupid. Oh, the unlawful activities of Batman So he's a criminal Oh no He's out there He's out there causing trouble You know what happened?

His first name set him in the right direction But then like it's like that it's like two lefts You know how about it? Double negative Yeah, it's like a double negative It's like you you had two superheroes in your name And you became a villain Yeah

It was just Superman You know Newquist or something You know what I mean Like a proper name His parents fucked him up, man. Batman's been super, man. It's so crazy.

Go to question, please. Javanese. I don't even know what that is. You know what that is? Javanese. Javanese. Because it says race javanese. Is that a race?

That's an ethnicity, a nationality. Well, I'm sure it's a national. I'm sure there's race on the car. I'm sure there are some people who would suggest otherwise. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of those interesting people. But so listen.

Yeah. So South Park was, was cool. Hope they keep going. I hope they do some crazy shit. I hope they do borderline stuff that's like objectively like suable. They got to, yeah, they got to go harder in the paint because that was a great start, but also. They're going to, I think if they go much harder than a pain, they'll get canceled, but I think that'll be funny. Yeah, I think it would be part of the joke.

Yeah. That South Park got canceled over that. I would hope so. And then they get their money. I like that they also took a few shots at like the, the anti-woke crowd, like say by being Cartman saying, oh, man, I, because, you know, the grifters. Right, right. They thrive off of that stuff. And Cartman is a representation of that in that episode

where he's like, fuck, all this stuff is getting cancelled and getting removed. They're putting God back in the school. They're putting Jesus back in the school. They're doing all these things. It's like, this shit isn't funny. It's in character too. I like how he was like, oh, man, they cancel NPR.

I loved it. It was so funny. Talking about a girl got stoned to death for getting raped. I heard that and I couldn't stop. I was laughing my ass laughing. And Lily was like, how are you laughing at that? It's good, man. Because it seems insane.

It actually did feel like, the way it was written actually did feel like classic cell. It really like, like, I mean, it's a little bit slower still. I feel like it could be faster. But like there are elements of it was like, they're saying a lot of stuff here. Some of it was good. Yeah. Those are a retarded faggotting in the White House. That felt very nostalgic.

And I'm like, great. That's how I remember South Park is just kind of, kind of hitting you over the head, like, fast. Like, you know, like, I didn't get caught me off guard. Randy in bed, like asking chat GPT, like whether or not God should be in schools. And then it zooms out His wife is just like Completely ignored Like oh yeah

What makes it funny The part that the part that made me laugh The most It's like Carmen was talking about everything And just the face of Kyle Like I'm just not giving him He didn't even

I think it's like He didn't even say anything To him that episode Like I think that was Like when that Jewish girl got raped It stowed right Kyle And he's just like He just like

He just fucking walks off And I'm like This is Like it's for me I got a good I got a good chuckle out of the... The one real joke Set up punchline joke

Is the electric car That was funny when they're trying to... He's trying to kill himself in the car And he's like, The Statch family, I only support it's electric cars. And it cuts to... Carmen just like

Sitting in an electric car waiting to fucking die of exhaust fumes. At Butter's house. Like coming to Butter... The fact that he was trying to take Butters with them, too. It's ridiculous.

The fact that Butters isn't like, no, and just walks away it's like, hey, he's gonna try to kill me if you don't know.

Do you hate failures? I think that, I don't know. I think it's really good. I hope, yeah, I hope they keep going. But we're running a little

little, I want to get to this that you reminded me before we started. Oh, right. Candice Owens being sued by what the French government or something?

What the fuck is going on? The French government because it's the, the, the, the prime president, Prime Minister. Do they call Prime Minister? I think they're called the Wizarders.

The Baguitts. The gay? I mean, I guess that's the problem. So the Macron? Macron. Basically, Emmanuel Macron, is that his name? Listen, I'm not Haitian. I don't know.

I'm not Haitian. I don't know. Yeah. He wished he were. My knowledge? Me? Yeah, he's like, oh, bad. No, I don't.

No, I said he wished you were. He wants to send you there and claim you again. My knowledge of France begins and ends with Claire obscure. I think there was a revolution there once, I think. I know about Haitians. I don't know about French people exactly. And that's like a degree of separation. I know Le Miz.

Kind of. Yeah. Wasn't he saying John St. John or something like that? Jean Valjean. Okay. Well, I mean, they're saying president. So I guess they're present. Whatever.

Fine. But yeah. They can pretend to have a president of they want. Macron. Macroson. is suing Candace Owens using the same lawyer that took down Fox News with the Dominion lawsuit. Whoa. I did not know that.

So I think they got what? I think the Dominion got I think 700 million for that. Yeah. Because Fox News was just blatantly being like, oh, the machines were fucking rigged. And they're like, no, they weren't. And you guys know this because you all talked about it in emails and text messages. Insane. And then it on earth showing Tucker Carlin.

Carlson talking mad shit about Trump. That was great. Oh, that's what that came from? He said he called him like a demon or something. He's like, I hate him so much. I can't wait him for him not to be president. And then weeks later, he walks out with them at a UFC event.

And I'm like, Trump is, but Trump, if you notice he does that shit on purpose, every time there's somebody who flamed him, he keeps him the closest to them. He purposely keeps them around the show of power. Yeah. JD Vance. That's what he made him vice president

because he was like very vocal about hating Trump. And he keeps doing it. It's crazy. I don't know how he's fucking stupid base don't notice this. shit or maybe they just think it's based I guess anyway I think he's fucking manly man uh Candace ones we all know we all hate her she fucking started off with that uh social autopsy thing that Chris was probably one of the first people that made a video about it um saying that was that was the first

like one of the first three I think yeah you were in the same week for sure you're definitely one of the first for sure and uh that was crazy she got flame for it you know it was kind of like it's kind of like oh it's supposed to hold people accountable but it was really just kind of like almost like a doxing kind of harassment campaign kind of crazy. After she fucked off for a while, came back as Red Pill Black on YouTube, just started repeating every single conservative talking point blew up, got on Joe Rogan, argued with Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan hated her. But then she got on Daily Wire. Here she is now off a daily water for being too anti-Semitic. And still doing it. And now her new campaign to the point

where she's doing merch of this, Emmanuel Macron's wife is trans. And I, for the life of me can't understand how popular it got because it's so boring because it seems like a one-off thing you just make fun of her about like oh it's a man or something and then you move on to the next cycle or whatever right but she's stuck with this for fucking forever and it's her most popular thing she's ever done which is fucking sad that's so crazy and made lots of merch so then they've asked her a bunch you know like hey macron and all them were like hey could you hello hello i'm malcolm glabweil host of smart talks with ibn i recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta, we discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.

At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.

Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conta? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, Oira Ida, Silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick-up or delivery.

Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Fucking stop. Because allegedly that they also showed like biological evidence. Like, no, she's a fucking woman. Here's old pictures of her as a kid. here's birth certificate type stuff and then Candice obviously ignored it

because she was making money and getting a lot of notoriety Yeah, you can't make the merch not valuable anymore Come on, right, right, I gotta sell merch. So they finally were like, oh yeah, fuck this bitch. She said that Macron reached out to Trump and asked Trump to get her to stop. And so she talked about on her podcast saying like, yeah, I'm not gonna stop.

Yeah, she doubled down. Fucking crazy. And so now she's getting sued. And she's saying, holds no merit and why. she said, oh, I asked if she wanted to be interviewed or if McCrone wanted to be interviewed about this. And that shows that it's in good faith and this is not defamation.

And I'm like, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's not how that works. Of course it's not how it works at all. That's not how that, you don't have to accept an interview from someone. Yes. That doesn't, that doesn't, like, I reached out in good faith. I'm like, no, you can defame someone and still reach out for a comment. What are you talking about?

I can say you're a gay rat that rapes people. and then it'd be like, would you like to comment on it? That doesn't mean all of a sudden, oh, no, see, that was in good faith. Like, what do you create? Like, it's just like the Fox News. I'm so happy. Oh, God, I'm so happy. I feel like there's no way they, like.

What a dumb hill to die on? Like, why? Like, you're going to get smoked to death. I feel like she's going to lose a lot of money, especially she doesn't have the back in the daily wire. So this is just going to be like her money. Out of her pocket straight up. Yeah. But allegedly, not allegedly, I think her husband has a lot of money too.

so I don't think it's going to hurt them as much as it should, I imagine. But I imagine they're going to settle. I wish they wouldn't settle. I wish there would be a real fucking, like, trial. I would love that. I would literally go to court. I fucking, I'm tired of all these people settling. Chad and Sharp settled, you know what I mean?

He settled? He settled. There's no exact number, but it's upwards of 10 million. That's all we know. So this only fans, bitch, 19 years old, she's probably like 21 now or whatever, made out like a bandit for fucking this 50, 6-year-old guy.

This thing is so stupid. That all of us. settling. I want, I want, I want, I need these things. I know, I understand not dragging stuff out. Yeah. Right. But like, I feel like McCrone, if he, if he cares about his wife and allegedly probably barely does, you know. Jesus Christ. Oh, sorry. I got me. I tried to. I tried to. You have age. Yeah. immediate quick acting aids oh I don't think I got that on camera damn it I didn't know you're gonna do Derek I almost hit you don't do that again that will do that

that's crazy I looked at you at the most like I cannot believe this human so in case that didn't come up on camera Derek like lean up to Kingston from across the table and coughed on him I'm so sorry. I try to resin evil you. Try to T-virus you or whatever, whichever virus it is. I'm sure I can't get it, knowing my fucking, my stupid luck.

I would just get mauled to death and die instead of becoming a zombie. You get mauled to death. That's like that naked gun, the guy who falls off, the bad guy falls off the roof and he lands on, like they think he's going to die and he lands on an awning and slips off. And then he lands on the sidewalk and then a lion gets him on the street. I love shit like that, dude. That movie's kind of close, actually. Oh, yeah. What's, I think it's at the beginning of August or something?

Yeah, I cannot wait for that movie. It's going to be really fun. I'm excited for weapons, dude. The more I see the weapons, it looks crazy. I think I might fly home to see it. I haven't been home in a while, and I might fly home. My dad loves those movies. It would be cool to see it with him.

If it's good, I hope it's good. The dad sound cool. Huh? Yeah. Those are no questions. Oh, do you miss me? You miss me a little bit. I do not miss my birth.

Father, hell. Yes, you do. Don't think I do. You'll miss me. Come on. Come on. I'm going to make you miss me. Nuzzle up against my balls.

Look at where you came from. That's crazy. I shaved one part just for you to nustle your eye on. You're making eye. Eyeball contact with a nut side is crazy. That would be a really unnecessarily physical altercation between me and my father. That would be like, hey, you just don't have to do this. You don't have to turn this until like a fight to the death for no reason.

Son, I'm so unbelievably strong. You don't want this. He's a fucking big guy, man. He's a huge fucking dude, man. You don't want this smoke, little boy. Come on. You know I'm 8-9, son. I'm 8-9, I'm stronger than three gorillas put together, son.

You literally can't stop me. I literally have a chimpanzee in my pocket. Look at this, son, and he fucking wrestles down a bear all in front of me. Look at this. I'm not even struggling, son. He can't move. He literally can't move. The bear's crying.

Watch this. The bear's cry. Watch this. He grabs the bear's head and does that. And it turns into a can't like a, it's like a full thing of Canada dry. You want some? It's the bear was a fucking Canada drive. It was a bear, but then he made it a Canada dry.

All right. All right, listen. Yeah, so hopefully Candice Owens gets too. into the fucking underground. I don't know if it's too so much he dies. But other than that... What if it turns out, Cass was right.

And his wife has a fucking 12-incher. All right. Yeah. And like the video comes out. It's not AI. It's completely authenticated. Like in the Superman movie, we're like, nope.

No, yeah. We understand. We know. We know. We have top guys. Yep. And then just taking all 12 inches. It is crazy, by the way,

and that pulverized. Anyway, yeah. Poverized. to dust. Question time. Question time, yeah? Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Remember, you can go over to patreon.com slash your snarktank.

Also, snarktank got shop for merch. But what are you experiencing? Can you pulverize? Can you pulverize liquid? Yeah, fuck my question. Yeah, yeah. Can you pulverize liquid? I think it's cookie, though.

It's gross. It just doesn't work. Oh, it does like in the mixture. It doesn't. It feels like a... You only got to the cookie dough at the end there? Yeah, I didn't taste it. I guess it's all at the top.

How could cookie dough be bad, though? Cookito's awesome. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to that. Pick areas you can scale.

Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example, if anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive, so we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. say you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our

learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology. It's getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks.

Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, or Ida, silk, Capri-Sung, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more.

Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick-up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Whatever, it feels like I'm eating something I shouldn't be eating. Like it feels gross in my mouth. What drink is that? The cookie dough thing I just saw it was

It was new or something Or I was like I'll just try this one Because I just wanted an ice drink Blended Ice And yeah I'm not It was good and I don't know It just feels like it's like someone

Threw up in it dude I don't like it That's unfortunate Anyway we're gonna We're gonna move on the questions For our patrons over a Patreon com slash Star Tank Remember you can go over there

Ask us a question $25 and up Well not that $25 and up Is the names at the end I'm all fucked up today go over there asking us a fucking question and give us a statement, fucking whatever. Okay? If you don't, we'll kill you.

It's really as simple as that. What should we start? What should we start with here? I don't know. I don't know. Kingston, do you have a suggestion? Yeah, my boy? My little boy.

Hey, I'm talking to you, bitch. My dad told me that I'd be so confused. He'd be like, damn. So hostile. All right, here's a good one. The downside of, of IRL shows is Derek and Sween can't fuck

Oh, that So this guy wants us that sex? I think it cuts off. I think he says can't fucking do something, but like, Oh, it cuts off, so like, sorry. Oh, okay.

Yeah. I mean, we could. We could, yeah. I mean, I don't want to see that, but. Yeah, I understand. I could fuck you. Oh, is that the only way?

Yeah, I'm a pitcher, not a catcher. You can't be, you're fucking, So, you're so. Yes, terrible. It's a non-progressional. I'm a terrible guy.

Yeah. Sometimes you got to, sometimes you've got to take it, man. Yeah. It's like medicine. It's like medicine. Yeah, exactly. Hello to the three voices in my head that make me laugh.

My question is simple. Would you rather live the rest of your life in the Elder Scrolls world or the fallout world? Both will start you around the, wait, both will start around the starting time of the most recent games. And no, you can't kill yourself to get out.

So I guess, well, Elder Scrolls, elder scrolls, we're talking about. Yeah. I do not want to live in a Fallout world. I don't get it to me.

I don't know. Radiation bullshit, but also Outer Scrolls world is objectively more terrifying. It could be. It's more whimsical, though. It's more like fantastical. It's more like you pee,

but it's also more like dude, a danger could come to my house and rape me silly, and then put me in another dimension. It could be, but you see like there's a lot of people that are just living their lives, right? You just go to this town.

Same thing in Fallout. No, not a radiating. But that's what I mean. Like, even though you're living your life, you still have radiating. You still have roach meat. What do I become a ghoul? I can just live forever.

I guess there's no guarantee you'll become a ghoul. That's true. I can learn magic. Can I choose who I be? I'd be super mutant. I think you're just you. You're just you. That's gay, yeah.

I don't want to become a ghoul. If I can become a ghoul, I'd be fine. I'd become a ghoul. You understand that's like not a fun existence. It's not funny, but I'm immortal. You're functionally immortal in the sense that radiation can't kill you, but a lot of other things are dangerous to you. Yeah. You can be a, don't you need.

You'll be a feral, yeah. You'll be a feral. Yeah, you'd be a feral. Yeah, you'd be a feral. I'd go feral. I guess, look, I, I would, I mean, I'm going to say elder scrolls. I like fallout more, and I think that world is cooler. I'm more into it from a vibe perspective. I like the old retro feature, old 50s music.

I love it. It's cool. But if I had to live in that world, no. I'm underground all the time. You're depressed. You've never, you'd never see the fucking sun. I would go insane. Like, I'm going to go, I'm thinking of the worst.

I'm going to the extreme worse. The worst of Elder Scrolls, nuke. Newk going off randomly. The worst in Eltersk is in Fallout is a nuke. Newk going off. See, what we need is we need nukes in Elder Scrolls and Deidre in Fallout. We have nukes. We have nukes and elders, though.

They're dragons. Dragons are effectively, they're like metaphorically a nuke, but like, no. No, dragons are horrible to everyone that is the dragon. We played as the Dragon Ward. So to us, dragons are like, I can yell this nigga out the sky. But to other people, that's just your town's gone. That's it.

Your home is just gone and you can't do anything about it. A nuke is a one in Dunninga, a dragon is as long as it wants to be around. It's going to burn up places, you know? Yeah, but you can rebuild it really quickly. There's no, like, fallout or anything. There's not like Fallout, though. There's nothing there anymore.

Yeah, but you just rebuild it. You just got to bring more lumber. More lumber and more what people. that are cooked. I mean, you can't uncook them. Yeah. Yeah, magic. There you go. You can't resurrect people though. Can you not? I'm pretty sure there are zombies in all these scrolls. But you can't resurrect people. They can be brought back to life, but you can't do that.

Why can't it? Why? No, have you done it? I'll read it. I'll read it. I'll read it and I'll read it and I'll learn. Because there's no resurrection. That's how all the scrolls work. There's possession and shit like that. There's no like resurrective magic. Well, then we'll fucking possess people. When I'm gone, I'm dead, I'm going to bring myself back because I can do that. You also find a, I don't know, you can find a sword that does it. Like, that's kind of thing.

It's like, I think Elder Scrolls' world is more scary at its worst. But I think, you're right. Yeah. I would rather have a chance of, I don't know, gain magic power. I'll put it this way. The easiest life in the Older Scrolls is far more, is far better than the easiest life and fought. The easiest life and fought is you live in a fucking commune in underground, never see the sun. The air is fucking recycled.

And you're just depressed until you die. That's lame The easiest In all this roles is like what Like you're just kind of like a Maybe like a You're just living white running Yeah you're just chilling

You're just chilling You're just chilling it's nice Hearing that nigga yell about Talos All day Yeah Yeah He's like bro screaming still Talos is sexy

I want to You don't know Lord Talos We'll be back And it's like Dude shut the fuck Yeah I'd kill him every playth Through

I mean You can kill him We can kill him I don't Absolutely I never kill Let him Let him

rant and raven, I walk past him a bunch. And I refuse to give him time. I usually make sure it's the animation where it decapitates them. We need to bring Talos back into schools. The one true children of Tamriel. The coaster fell? Yeah. Yeah, I gotta get new ones. Trump was talking about elder scrolls.

Yeah. That'd be crazy. If he did that, if he liked him, he was like a really big fan of elder scrolls. That's dangerous. That's dangerous. He would get people. He would get people. I think is that he's not personal enough to do to take the time to learn stuff like that. He just thinks the way he is will get people.

Yeah, right. But if he took time to be like, Make Talos great again. Like if he took a month of being quiet and came back and pulled some Zorancho, he started talking about like Wu-Tang and being cool, it'd be like, oh, fuck, he's never going to not be present again. Make white run again. Run white.

Make it run white again. I think there should be like, right way. Ways isn't really a real big thing. Typical fucking Red Guard saying shit like that. They're really fast and they don't get tired. It's kind of weird. Argonans are sexy when they have their big things.

This guy's in N-word. Throw them in jail. Argonans are weird, right? Anyway. Fucking Falmer. Don't trust him. The Falmer. I don't trust Farmer.

They come from their little borders underground and they ruin things. Don't trust anyone. Sween humor be like, what if instead of Squidward it was, and then it could, whatever, it cuts out. I think I might just start reading the questions without the names at this point. Because so many of these names cut out. Because they'll know. No, but everybody won't know.

I think he's read the whole. Everybody wants. If your name doesn't cut off, I'll read it. Just keep, just read as much again. Whatever. Hey, Chris, Derek, and stupid gay retard that comes on his comics. Do you do that? Of course not. They're worth money. The fuck.

Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbeta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing. Whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?

Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will. will mature. Right?

Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals.

Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. You're not going to sell them. They're still worth something.

Yeah, but you said you're not going to sell them. I'm gonna give them up. I'm gonna give them other people so they can tell them eventually. Why wouldn't you come in it? Why wouldn't you come on it if you're gonna give it other people? Because they might want to sell it.

What if they want to come? Where somebody comes and they're like, hey, there's no come on this and they leave. I'm like 85, my godson. There's no come on this comic. He's like, hey,

there's no come on this comic, Uncle Kingston. What's up? What kind of fourth rate comic shop is this? What kind of two-bit places is this, man? I find it's like a come. Two-bit. You know, two-bit and fourth-rate.

You're not really into this thing. You're not really into this. A true fan comes all over his comics. Fucking loser. Hey, fucking loser. All my comics are laminated and I've never laminated anything. That's crazy. Can there be a good Halo show about the Master Chief?

Or does a good Halo show need to be about Spartans? Listen, you can't... I think you could. I think people don't know how to write video game stories generally. Most of them are bad. Even still to this day where we're getting good stuff? Eh So you said a Halo show without Spartans

No I think you get out a halo show with Spar I think you can't have the Chief be a central character Like he's not the main character Of the game either So it's just like It's not I don't think

I don't think you could have a good Halo show Especially the first one without Master Chief Being a main character And it being No no I said the main character Like you can have him be like A character

But like he's I don't want to see him shitting You know I don't want to see him brushing his teeth Okay, you don't want there to be, you don't want there to be a deep character study of Master Chief. But he has to be. I don't think there needs to be. Yeah, I agree.

But he has to be objectively the avenue by which we explode that world. I understand. I guess I feel it like a Shepherd kind of thing where it's just like Mass Effect is about Shepherd, but it's more about everybody around him than it is about Shepherd. Like you're just kind of doing things. Yeah. And like. Sheppers the Avenue by which we explode the universe.

Right. And so that's what it is. That's all you need. But it can't not be about. it can't be not about Spartans. Like, I'm sorry, you can't do a show like that. Just find another Spartan. You'll be fine.

Because, like, the reason, the reason why Star Wars exists, because, like, I liken a lot of Halo to Star Wars, a lot of it. I think there's a lot of similarities in the way they do things. And I think that... I think you're gay. Yeah. Well, probably, but... Well, I do, I think it would have been smart if that's what Paramount did,

where they explored the humanity, quote-unquote humanity of a Spartan through... threw another Spartan in a non-Chief Spartan. Now it would have been really cool. Chief could have been a character that existed that he might have aspired to be like or if they might have taken the whole idea of Spartan Locke looking for Chief and made that a show. I think that could have been cool. The problems that people don't like Locke, but I think that could have been cool.

Instead of making Locke what he was, just make a character that was a lock that goes to his process of becoming a four or is he a four or five. Just do the first game. Just do it. Like, why not just Just have the characters be Marines And then the chief is there Like you don't need, it's not hard man

There's so many There's so many military movies Platoon fucking like a million Just do that with a fucking big guy Hot take in there This is a hot take for me I don't care about I don't want adaptations anymore

I don't want to be I felt that way forever But I'm saying They're happening anyway Yeah I don't know And so if you're going to do them Do them But like

Like people don't like Devil McCride this show I'm like I'm glad it's not the exact game I played because I already played that fucking game I don't need to see animated now I'm gonna have a better experience from the game I already had I guess it brings people to it

but like I just want I want things in the universe and if there's gonna be a different continuation go in there and change it but make it good I don't mind them changing things I don't even mind them like fucking around with things intensely but like I don't I hate I don't like my parents coming to be it's like hey I watched Halo

I don't understand it I was like yeah well neither do I Because that's not what I'm, that's not, that's not what I, you're, you're, now you've created a false relationship between the thing that, if I'm talking about Halo forever. That's what I feel about. And then people, and then people's first impression. Yeah. Is that show.

Then it's like, they think they know. Chris, about the thing that I care of. Chris, this is exactly how I feel about comic books. What do you mean? This is the exact how I feel about comic books involving MCU and you like that. This is the exact feeling I have. Like, literally. in fact every single superhero movie i think some of them i think a lot of them are done well

but none of them get the character exactly right and it burns my heart because i'm like you're missing things about this character i mean by exactly right uh i think i just think there's like what's a comic book that movie that i can go over um i would say it's for me the one that glars to me has always been the ramy spider-man movies so crazy but it's not he does the thing right where he gets the cast more than homecoming homecoming i don't even count It's like, whatever. This is this MCU shit. This is already just so wrong, you know?

But like... There's a escape, what is it? What is it? Escape from the park? Yeah, I don't even, I can't even get it. I get so mad when I hear them say stuff that I'm like, I got to take a step back. These guys are younger to me clearly, and they clearly never read any of the mediums they're talking about.

They are just fans of the pop culture stuff of it. I got to just take a step back because I'll just get mad and I'll start commenting wild at them. And there's no need for that. There's no need for that. They can enjoy however they want to. Yeah. But it's like the idea is like Peter Parker, Peter Parker, I think exists well because of where he existed in universe, you know.

His position in Marvel is what helps him be so much good because he has people to aspire to be like, you know? It helps him go further and reach further and become someone that is truly a hero amongst other heroes. He's the one that they, like, they respect him for how much he's willing to hit the grind. Even as a kid, he was like 15, 16 doing it alongside fucking X-Men and Captain. in America and motherfuckers from space and they're like, I respect. I just think it's weird that you choose that. But no, but I think the Ramey universe is so good.

I cannot deny that it is really good. But I think parts of Peter don't exactly translate over. And then people will tell me that like, oh, this is the best Spider-Man thing ever. And it's like, if you read like maybe two comics, you'd be like, oh, I know why this is a good movie, but it's not Peter. That's not Peter Parker. Do you think that's an objective thing? I think it's, I think if you read any of the comics that are like his Lynch

pins objectively. You'll feel that way. Yeah. But I think the thing is that I'm moving a common not the same thing. And I have to understand that and I have to make peace with that. Yeah, I don't, yeah, I don't think that necessarily matters. But it's just, it the, a lot of times, it's hard to be like, okay, do I think this is the better character or is this unanimously everybody's like, it's like like a book versus a movie or something. The book character was written so much better than the movie or vice versa or whatever. But usually there's like a consensus. And is that like you think like, do you hear people when people talk about Spider-Man? are they like, yeah,

the big, Toby McGuire, Spider-Man could have been better. Is that what you usually to hear? Are people that read comics say that, yes. People that don't recom- But the things that more people watch movies and read comics, you know? Sure.

So their community is going to be louder. And it's like, yeah. And it's nothing, and it's, I have to very much so, I will criticize it because I love the character so much. The movie movies are amazing. Even Spider-Man 3 is still a great fucking film experience. Spider-Man, one, a fantastic movie. Spider-Man, two, landmark comic book film.

But it's only a critique because I love the character. I guess the thing is, like, there's, the issue is that, like, there's, when I, when I look at Spider-Man as a movie and then, like, the comics and the games, like, I've seen enough Spider-Man to know, like, there's differences between them that are pretty stark and obvious. But none of them feel... Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta. We discussed his vision for the future. of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum,

or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I can, came to IBM. I wanted the experience the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first Volt-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.

To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, international delight, freedom.

Lay and Signatures Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Bastard, like a bastardization. I would have said a bastardization. And so, and I'm fine with change. Like, whatever.

Like, organic webbing, fine. If you want to, like, I'm even fine with like, oh, okay, Aunt May is the Uncle Ben this time. Fine. But, like, to me, that Halo show has nothing. Like, there's literally... I'm not even exaggerating. they might as well not have had that character have that name

because it's just not at all even so he fucks a prisoner of war in that show there's levels what there's levels there's no there's literally and so that's what I'm saying it's like the degree that's crazy that's crazy I feel like Chief's dick don't work I feel like that's probably true if it worked he wouldn't be as an efficient fucking soldier

I feel like, he would have been fucking cat too much. He would have never fucking stopped fucking cat. I feel like they're generally castrated in some way or like something. Yeah. Or at the very least they're like inhibited. Yeah. Pretty heavily. And so like,

I guess that's why they took that shit. He took that shit out. Did he take this shit? I didn't watch it. Yeah, but it's not. I know, but it's fucked. I know. He like did surgery on himself to take the pill out or like a thing out of his back that

that was like making him gay. So now he can like something. Or something. Yeah. So now he can feel. It was something like that. It's not, they can't feel because they've been brainwashed forever. It's not like a, it's similar to Witcher.

Right. It's similar to Witcher's like they don't have emotion, they don't have emotion, but they're fucking traumatized. Yeah. And it's not like. Yeah. And it's not like they're not characters. Like, he jokes around and like it's, he doesn't say a lot, but he jokes sometimes. Like it's not, he's not like a fucking, you know, an automaton.

But like, I just, there is nothing. There is no character in comic book media. from, like, comics to the big screen that is as missed the mark of an interpretation as the Master Chief is from the games or even the book to the show. It is insane. Like, you'd have to go back to, like, maybe Elektra or, like, you know, the pre-Spiderman superhero movies to even get there. You know what I mean? I think I... You'd have to go to, like, maybe...

Who can I argue? You have to go to, like, the Fantastic Four from, like, like, the Fantastic Four from, like, like the 90s. The problem is, the problem is this. I agree with it. I just, I agree with that. I agree. How do I explain this, right?

And that there's never been, and that this is the first try. I, look, that's what's frustrating. I agree. It's like, play it safe the first time, dude. Just go with what we know. And then, like, later on, you can get crazy with it. Later on, you're going to have fucking Tony Stark teaching Peter Parker how to do shit because we've already had a lot of Peter Parker adapted.

And that's a true thing. But the problem is this, right? There are things that are way off for characters. The problem is that they're not as shit. That is the problem. There are things that are way off for a lot of characters in the movies of comics. Oh, you're like the lukewarm thing. You're talking about it being like lukewarm.

Yeah, but they're not. Or some of them are good, like Thanos 100%. Thanos and MCU is fucking stupid. I hate that he's that way. He's so much better in the comics. But the problem is that the idea of a character being in love with the concept of death may not trans. People can't read or understand things. I understand why they couldn't do that.

I understand why they can't do it. But comic, it's calling that guy, Thanos is like, that's not. That's not, I'm, I think, I think the thing that like I,

but he serves the story well, but he, but he fits into, chief doesn't serve his story well at all. His piece fits into the story relatively fine. But that's what I mean. Like,

I would be, listen, I'm not even, I'm not even exaggerating when I say like, I'm not even exaggerating when I say, I, I would be, he,

they could make Chief into like a fucking borderline Deadpool-ass character where he's just cracking jokes all the time and that would be like that's annoying but it would at least be fucking more fun than whatever the fuck I saw in the two seasons of that show I'm not even exaggerating

you can say that right now and you can say that right now without having it because I know you Chris I know you you would fucking hate that I think you could say that right now I wish we had crystal ball I wish yeah it's like me saying

like, oh, I'd rather have one of these weird things happen to me than it happens. And I'm like, ah, maybe. It's the same thing with, like, Fallout. Like, Fallout's not really, like, Fallout is absurd. But everything about Fallout is relative to Fallout still. Like, all of that dumps it happen in that show. Sure, but it's not, that happens in that world, you know. It's treated a little bit more lightly in the show.

Like, they kind of treat it lighter than they do in the game. Like, in the games, it's pretty dire. Like, the humor comes from your understanding of like, what the, this is crazy. Yeah. And I think the show's probably the music. And I think the show. kind of like ironic. Yeah.

The show does that. I think like how to, it doesn't, this is not like, everything that happened in a fallout show could happen in a game, you know. But it wouldn't be the comedic writing of it. It would be us seeing it like. If I was given a choice. That's insane. That's who me would just send the N-word.

If I was, if I was floating against, if I was floating in an imperial space looking down upon two realities, and one of them was a reality where like the show was just, the Halo show was just Halo, but like Master Chief joked a lot. Yeah. And the other one was he rapes a prisoner of war. And the arbiter dies immediately.

Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better, AI coming up with quantum or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?

Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah.

My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points.

Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, ORAIDA, Silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions.

And everything is wrong. Keyes dies before he lands on the road. Everything is wrong. Everything is wrong. No, Johnson. Everything is wrong. Everything is wrong. I'm taking the one that's less wrong.

Even if it's annoying and dumb. I respect. I get that in hindsight. I get that. That's complete hindsight because in the crystal ball scenario, if you never had this horrible version and you had the Deadpool one, you would still hate it.

I probably would. You absolutely would. I don't know if I would hate it. If you didn't know about this other version? Right. You know what I mean? I probably would hate it as like, because the core principle is like, this is the first try, guys. Just do the material.

No, I agree. Just do the fucking material. Don't go crazy when you're adapting something for the first time. You're screwing over your ability to have a long, like longevity. This thing works because people like what's there. Yeah. Adapt what's there. And if in the future it gets crazy and you have another adaptation, fine.

Go crazy with it. I don't care. That's why Homecoming doesn't bother me nearly as much. Because Homecoming would, if Homecoming was the first Spider-Man movie, you know what's crazy? Oh my God. We know what's crazy.

I would have shit myself and died and killed myself. I don't even respect home. Like, like I understand it's there. Like, I like Tom Holland on. I don't, I don't consider that Spider-Man anything.

It's a good movie. I like that movie. I don't, it's not for us, dude. Yeah. I wonder if the, the, the younger generations if they fuck with Spider-Man in the same way we fucked with the Sam Ramey's.

I don't, I don't talk to any young people like that, so I don't know. Like, hey, are you guys like, you guys fucking like you, you know, like Tom Holland is my Spider-Man. Like I'm sure that must be true.

People love, people love, the problem with that Spider-Man is that, unfortunately, that Spider-Man came out so close to Spider-Ver's movies. So a lot of young people like Miles. A lot of them love Miles Morales. Like he's a

That makes a ton of sense He might not be more popular than Peter But like relative to the time of it now He's close There was a conversation We had many many many many many episodes On this very show Where we had this exact conversation

At the time we were like I don't know if he's more popular yet I think he might be at this point He's fast approaching that level of popularity Even when I just think about it immediately I'm like I've definitely seen the influence of Miles Morales versus This version of Peter Parker

Hasn't really had any state power for me. At least it feel wise. I mean, the animated movies are like the people's top Spider-Man movies which is wrong, but like that's fine. It's a completely respectable, like I wouldn't be like that's wrong, even though I just did.

The problem is that and the big problem is that Miles has more character as a person than Peter does exactly. Peter is a character from like a very much so bygone era initially. So it's like that's why. You know, I'm still going to love Peter Parker over Miles every day. Even if he's a cultural

copy of me. I'm going to be like, this is Peter Park. He's the goat. He's the one that got the black suit. He's the one that got buried alive by Craven. He's the one that fucking went and did all that shit. I think the animated movies just speak to them more because, I mean, they're just better, they're better films. It's a better way to convey Spider-Man. Yeah. Yeah. In every, in every fucking way. In every way. But it's always all that, like, I'd rather a Game of Thrones show any day that's animated than a fucking live act. That is the fucking problem. It's because anything fantastical is better animated. And the reason why I love those first two Spider-Man movies so much is because they're so impressive in spite of that.

The fact that, like, Spider-Man can't really be done well in live action, but it's done pretty well. It's like, that's impressive about that movie to me. It's done well in ways that are crazy, too, because it's like, Green Gauvin looks so stupid in those movies. It shouldn't work. But also, he looks fucking awesome. It's a lot like, in the same way. It's a lot like the new Superman to me where it's like a lot of this shouldn't work, but it does. Yeah.

And it's kind of like, this is insane. that this Green Goblin stupid fucking Power Rangers thing, which was dumb at the time. Like I remember people talking about like this is a dumb costume. Well, but it was, it's so iconic. Look it's a cool fucking helmet. The way, I see, I

definitely had a different conversation because when you just, I feel like it's nostalgia. He's looking at the anime. He's like when you look at fucking brother. Brother, because that's our green goblin technically. Yeah, but like by that standard of the measurement, the fucking Spider-Man with no webs on

Right that middle of his body, it's only one's right here. Look, I, I just, I love. The Green Goblin in the Connics looks really steep. He looks insane. He looks like a real goblin. There's, yeah, it's, look, it's, I was, it's just, it doesn't matter. It's, it's here to stay. You, you, you think about Green Goblin.

You think about that fucking suit. You do. Yeah, so it's like, it worked. It's thinking about Doc Ock and how Doc Ock in the cartoon shows fucking, I mean, Jack than a motherfucker. He's a jacked German with a bowl cut. He's like a guy gardener hair cut having a ass fucking hair. He's like,

you should be that powerlifting. Is he a Nazi in the comics? He, uh, no, he's just German. He's, that's hilarious.

He's just German. He's not a Nazi. Whoever drew him like that. Like, I mean, they drew Peter Parker, the famous little bitch. I know.

Peter's thinner. Yeah, Peter's thinner than Chris. We've been over this. But like half a foot taller. And he just, I know. He's hulking.

M.J's kind of brolic. brother they were showing um belisha mil burr was talking about a uh uh oh my god uh mj well that ain't gonna help me we're helping you gotta do them up you got to at least six of those we'll help you take some of the load off you anyway yeah yeah he was talking about what he was talking about mj he was talking about like oh um i forgot why you was talking about mary jane watson you was talking about mary jane and and i i don't i forgot why he was talking about Spider-N-M-J and he was like, oh, he's amazing because if I had someone that looked like that, I would never leave. Like, I would never leave. Oh, I'd be fucking her all the time. And they were just showing like a little montage, whoever edits those clips of just like,

of her in the show. And I was like, I forgot how like it's in certain shots. And like she was working out in one fucking scene. And I was like, oh, man, I forgot about this. It made me feel like, because I was always like, Felicia, you know, we wouldn't be talking about here. There's a right answer though. But then, but when she's not fucking in that stupid sweater and boots or whatever the fuck she's wearing, I was like, oh, you know, there's a little more competition than I, than I realized. You're wrong, but

I respect the fact that you're willing to. It's what I'm saying, it's a lot closer than I actually really not closer. I, you got, you're not seeing what I'm saying. I see what you're saying. I agree. I agree. Derek, I think she's a. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbeta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,

whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff, building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature.

My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season.

These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. A very fuckable woman. That's so crazy.

But Felicia. Jesus Christ. It's a hot naturally. I'm not degrading them. I'm just fucking objectifying them. Welcome to. the milk boys, but when she trits. We love, we love

I can't believe. Israel and tits or whatever, I don't know what they talk about. Do you see that, that parody podcast that, uh, I saw, I can't remember it was like, it was somebody basically like pretending to be the milk boys. Yeah. It's like, we don't, and they were just like, hey,

man, we're sorry. You know, we're just trying to be, we're just trying to be us, you know. Anyway, you're introducing our next guest. You know them. You love him. Kyle Rittenhouse. but no boys are the ones that are going to have not yahoo on

they had they had them on yeah they had you yeah they asked him if he likes mcdonald's or burger king yeah and that was the most pushback in the the only contention in that podcast was like oh i don't know which one's better i heard i heard that like that was happening i was like that's a joke what do you like marvel or dc i'm sorry well i think i like bivethe because they made the super soldiers Zine Germans made it. Red Skoll? Abraham Ernstine made

Captain America, though he made me an American Zion's perfect. When did the Red Skull come out? Do you know? 12. 12. Like the year? Care to elaborate? Was he made by the Jewish people?

Because they're the only people that were like really doing shit at that period of time. I just want to know if Red Skull existed while Hitler was a... Red skull was Hitler's hand. So in that time, yeah. He was like... So he was the part of the scientific and not after. He was part of the scientific division of the Nazi party,

which is the, what are they called? Was there any, was the Red School propaganda while, uh, while like, say like in real time, was it a real time thing?

They were all there. Okay. So yeah, he would absolutely, he would absolutely, I imagine, because if I were, if I were Hitler,

I would be like, yeah, I would be like, hey, Red school, that's kind of dope. You know what I mean? It's kind of like,

do you remember what? Do you remember? Like having a little cheeky moment. Do you remember when? the alt-right like the love punisher so there was a well that's

a different thing the um fuck bad religion made oh the kids are alright yeah whatever and the alt-right

were like this is fucking awesome I was like yeah you guys you guys don't understand internet culture bad religion you're too old media literacy is crazy

it's crazy it's gone I love bad religion too that was so annoying yeah it that was the rage against the machine

too they're fucking that's still happens Anytime they're mentioned in comment sections Oh man it's crazy that they're with the machine now Every single time That shit always blows my mind Because it's like is the machine at that point

Just becomes like what do you think the machine? Nothing like if the machine says Crazy That the sky is blue Is it hypocritical to just agree with a fact Just because the machine you know what I mean? Well see the problem is they don't think it's a fact That's right.

But that's the only issue. Very stupid. Because all they said was, hey, guys, you should probably stay home and probably get vaccinated so we can beat this thing. Oh, they're with the machine now. I'm like, oh, so scientists? What are you saying? It's not even fucking people in the government.

That's what my argument yesterday, man. I was arguing the conversation yesterday. And like our friend was me and our friend are going back and forth about like how, no, not that particular thing. Oh. I was talking about how like debates are completely useless as things. Sure. And he was like arguing that like debates are like a necessary part of democracy,

which I actually agree with. but I think debates solve nothing. And they don't, they don't solve it. I think debate, I think debate culture online is different than debate. I think there's, like, still places where, like, you can have a real debate. But, like, you'd have to go seek them out. And they're probably happening in more academic settings, not on fucking, I think, I believe. I think conversation.

I think the conversation. Discussions. Yes, I think that's fine. That's the thing where, like, I wonder, like, when your friend, if that's actually what they meant. I think, I think that's objectively what. they mean, but I think the word debate is used in a political sense opposed to conversation and discussion.

I think those are things that are fundamental for existence, but I don't think debates ever been positive personally. I don't think debates ever changeable's minds really. There's that. I've had my mind's changed by the bates. Really? Like a debate? Like a debate? It's been a long time granted. Like like, because I think you people come in there, right? I think

not, okay, that's, I'm being hyperbolic when saying never. I think that's a, that's an incorrect way. It's probably like early high school that I remember. But it's like You come into this conversation already, right? And people come in there with their own particular beliefs, right? There are people that are kind of capable of being swayed, but that is such a minute number,

opposed to often they come there and they just, a lot of really negative mentalities are validated. Here's what my conversation, here's what I genuinely feel. I think because at a certain point, people do settle in and people build philosophies and reinforce them, I think there comes a point in your life where debate no longer really matters because you kind of just know where you stand.

But I think... Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing. Whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.

Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the time? timeline of this technology. There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Contum? By 2029, we'll build the first

fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, Aida, Silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings.

Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go-pick-up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. when you're younger and you're more like trying to figure things out, I think it actually does help. I don't think the way that, I don't think the way that it's being nurtured right now is positive or that the way the way the debate is done now helps. Because I think this, the way that we're doing it now is fucking stupid. Jubilee is not helping anybody.

No. It's just digging people further in. Yeah. But I do think there's like, there's an age where like people are trying to be more curious and they're discovering things and they're like, they're like, they might. might think some things, but they might not know. And so, like, they might seek out something or a debate, and then they might actually build a foundation based on it. I don't think it holds value for us, because we're old.

We're already, we know who we believe. But the thing is that, like, I think the nature, it's a moral debate. The nature of debate is, like, when you, the problem with debate is that facts are not the forefront. I think facts have to be the forefront. And what happens is when facts aren't the forefront. turns into people saying whatever the fuck they want. Sure.

And then lying in front of people. And then those lies get reinforced because they're not pointed out as lies. If every single time you lied in this world, you never got told that you were wrong for lying or never got invalidated for it. It would, why would you stop doing it? Then why would your comedy just matter if you can just lie about everything, you know? So it's like, have you considered though that like you're gay? I mean, hey man. I just look, dude.

I'm just trying to think a little hard and other niggies, man. I can get behind. Look, man, I can debate for hours. We gotta get some more questions. Hours. We'll do two more. We'll debate on how gay we are. Who's gayer?

That's not fair. E-masturbation. That's not fair. E-masturbation, Cloaklamation, Rodin. E-Masturbation, what? E-masturbation clocklamation, rodent. He was you the person in the bathroom beating off while it was all being signed and shit?

That's crazy. Jacking, he's screaming. Free him! Quick! Anyway, he says, hey, oh, boy, it's pertaining to the vile fleshlight, pertaining to the vile, pertaining to the vile, fleshlight disposal story from episode 339. Oh, yeah. I have something to one-up it.

Oh, no. Here we go. I'm excited. I haven't read this yet, so I don't know. We've got listeners that are fucking... Shut up. Shut up. I'm excited.

All right. One of my best friends bought a full-sized torso one and named it by calling it Gizabel. That's hilarious. It's pretty good Tell somebody that That's funny That's a funny story Sometimes it's

It's not funny It's like that context Well it's like that clue of Ozzy Osbourne On the what is it On the show where they're asking Like do you care if they're laughing at you Or it's like I just want them to If they're laughing

It's cool I just want them to be laughing That's this guy He's clearly like I named this thing Drizabelle And I came in it Fair enough Fair enough

I fucked this And he says It says he says He apparently used it Until it was in Tatters and the holes had ripped into each other creating one hole. Oh my God.

That's crazy. Was he getting thicker over time? Was he getting blunter over time? He was just like, I guess that's putting in work. Pussy and ass, like at the same time, that's actually, that's a feat.

That is, yeah. If you can reach that, if you somehow fucking pussy and ass at the same time, he figured it out. You gotta get the, you gotta get really hard. You gotta get a strap fucking light, light it up,

then fucking just focus on leaving it at that way. Then let the blood flow out. it's going to already be fucking engorged. Sure. It's a process. Sure. Sure. Here's where it gets...

Here. Here's where it gets fucked. Uh-huh. He says, he bought a new one and gave Gisabel to one of my other friends. To which that friend used it for years. I hope that's not true. I learned all of this. I learned all of this much later.

Uh, and that's where it ends. Uh-huh. So here's the most egregious part. Because obviously there's people like that. But it's like you're keeping that. Those are your friends. These are your people. That says the company you keep says everything about it.

Listen. In his defense. You could look at this in a positive way. Oh. They're resourceful people. Oh. You know, they're just. They recycle.

They recycle. They're frugal. They know the value of a dollar. And clearly if it's been used so much Clearly there must be some sort of reason why it's been used so much So he's like I'm taking my person this person's a consideration They're generous exactly yeah very generous Insightful also

I don't know about insightful but sure Look Adventurous Adventurers Open to do experience Exactly I'm saying we're selling this Yeah we're kind of winning

We're getting it like you see stunt locked No I still can't get past the part that it's been he tore the fucking, you know, the taint to where now it's just one big. Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbeta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better,

AI coming up with quantum or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?

There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, ORAIDA, Silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up

and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. You never done that? That's life. I don't have a pringle-sized penis. I mean, who does, really? I just like, I feel like the only thing that does that is usually giving birth, you know?

That usually tears that part. Oh, God, I hate thinking about that. That makes me cringe. It's crazy. I wouldn't want her back no more after that. Sorry, letting fuck out of here. Look, I'll take our beautiful, wonderful bundle of joy. Grab the baby by his head.

I really hate that. I grab it like a fucking philosopher after it by foot. They're just fucking One hop out of it Yeah, it's really the part Because like I've heard about Sex toys being recycled Which is crazy

That's insane But it being used to the point where Look man That's throw it out damage That is so like you absolutely The fact that It almost I'm almost praying that that's not true

He bought it as a white woman And it was a black woman About that time He gave it to his homie. He gave it to his homie. His only didn't even know. He thought it was actually just a black.

Are you a freak guy? Oh, you're a freak guy? Oh, you're out here different. All-inclusive? He's like, damn, that's a big pussy. I thought I thought it would have a pussy and ass. And he's like, yeah, no, it was just a big pussy.

Oh, maybe he did that. Maybe he lied to him. He lied. He completely lied to him. I just got a large pussy. The tat, it came tattered. That's how it is. You see how in the giant cavernous hole.

It's the style. It's like, it's like pre-ripped jeans. Yeah. Oh, this shit is pre-ripped Pocket pussies It comes pre-tattered It's a pre-tattered pocket pussy

There you go I think I'm gonna get one I think I'm gonna bite the bulletin by one Are you gonna get like the big big one Or like Of course, of course You know my style Just having that shit

Laying around is crazy dude I want I want people to come in to me In the house I'm just in there staring at it Like on my island Just I'm gonna do it Crazy

What a world we're like living in. Yeah. Wow. Anyway. There's almost tears in your eyes. It's just so. That's my nightmare, dude. Bringing Brought to nearly crying about a conversation about flesh like, it's crazy.

Well, just like knowing that, like, that's fucking, knowing somebody came in this thing probably who knows how many times. And you're like, yeah. Yeah, but my turn. But like, you fuck girls that have had sex before. Yeah, but the pussy is not a fucking pocket pussy. It is self-cleaning. it is self-maintaining

so you can easily To me it's like It's it's the equivalent of like a girl Just finished having a fucking orgy And then she just like What have you washed it? You know he's not He's not washing it to my standards

Is what I'm saying If it It's not like you put in a dishwasher You know what I mean? What if you could? What if you did? Well for me it's just still It's not like I take solace

in the fact that I I think it's pretty easy to tell a woman who takes care of herself and who's very hygienic and I can't you can't you know with those toys I think

I think people who use those toys by nature just are not clean people I just don't think that they're that's a relatively safe assumption I think that's pretty safe. I just, I can't.

There's no, there's no scenario where I'd feel like, like, I've, I've bought a steam clean mattress before. Like, it was used. Like, but they, they take it and they, you know, they, they sanitize it. That would bother me. It for the thought of it where I was like, let me see it. And I was like, oh, I virtually couldn't tell it all. Like, it was one of those things where it's like, because if it's used and it has like grease and shit and they obviously can't take it back. So it was like one of those things.

It's like, oh, it was probably. use for the warranty And they're like, this sucks ass How do you properly dispose of a mattress even? I don't know. You have them come and get it for you. I've used other people's... Who?

I've used... You called the city. The city comes to take to? Oh yeah, that's true. You can't call the city. That's true. I've only ever just dumped it on the street. I mean, I have to do the middle of this street.

I have to have given them away. I get fucking two o'clock in the morning. Where did you put it? We're not going to tell you where. Yeah. I can tell you where. No, we walked it down the hill. Like, we walked it far enough away from our apartment

that no one would connected to us. And we did it at 2 a.m. We did that at 2 a.m. specifically because we were like, we don't want to, we don't want nobody to see what we're doing it. It was fucking hilarious. Like, guys want to go do it? Now we're like, yeah, let's go do it.

We brought it down in the middle of the night and fucking ran it down the street. Was that the perfectly fine mattress with the, with the 250 stab holes in it? Remember the one that said bugs? Yeah. Well, just said bugs that was on the same street, too. What's up?

What are you talking? What? I had a mat. We had an extra mattress in our apartment for a while that we just, I don't know why we had it there for so long.

I don't remember what, there was some reason why like we just couldn't get rid of it. Or like we were holding it onto it for somebody and then like maybe they didn't need it anymore. I couldn't remember.

But it was just sitting, it was leaning against our wall for like a while. And I was so sick of seeing it. And I was like, I got to, maybe I could use this for a video or something. So I just like I wrote,

I had like a title card like a show thing. And I just wrote like, like perfectly fine and like pen and I inked over it a bunch of times so it was like bold and you could see it on camera. So I just had perfectly fine written on this mattress and I sat in front of it and did a video. The same video where I said Richard Spencer wasn't a Nazi, whoops. But, uh, but. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambata. We discussed his vision for the future

of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines.

Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Kondo?

By 2029, we'll build the first Volt-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large. lodge problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals.

Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay,

and Signatures Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. And at the end, just for like B-roll, I stabbed it like a bunch of times with like a box cutter or like some butterfly knife or something. Oh, concerning. I don't know. I guess it could have been concerning.

Interesting. Interesting. It was just chaotic bullshit for the sake of like having it in the video. You guys didn't like soak it in piss or anything? No, we didn't have that much piss. It keeps happening. We didn't have that much piss on it. luckily.

Stop drinking it. He hates this thing. I'm thirsty. That's insane. Anyway. One more and then we'll get the fuck out of here. Tornado GLZY. What is it?

Tornado. Glizzy Pocket Pussy Sport Touring Edition roading. He says, hello, batty mans and baddie men. Which religion has, in your opinion, the best drip? Not temples and iconography. Just priestly outfits and stuff like that. I was going to say Shinto clutches this. Pretty fire. Pretty fire.

But after some Googling, actually they are not drippy at all. What? Really? Fucking white-ass, weird long-sleeve shit. And stupid hats all around. Anyway, love you all and appreciate you all.

Bye. That's hard, man. Because there's a lot of orthodox stuff that I've seen in like Eastern Europe. that still exist today, that they're like just silly. Like they just look silly, but it's like awesome silly.

We're talking about your people are poor and you're spinning all of your fucking gold and blows my mind, dude, deal with Mexicans, like you guys will go, dealing with Catholics in general, what Mexicans are pretty,

they're the most, extremely. They're the most like, they're the most indoctated out of Latino people. Unfortunately, it's probably them. They're the most like, I would probably say

that the most indoctated for sure. I feel the Caribbean's up there. Caribbean? Yeah. We are, but we have a lot of Catholic. We have, we have, our, our cultures are still kind of important in a way that, like, they don't talk about their Aztec, mine, like, Incan cultures at all. Oh, I see what you're saying. They don't, like, that shit's next to them, too.

It's like next door and they're like, Jesus Christ. That's pretty sad. And it's like, it's pretty sad. I'm like, oh, if I had any hint of what I had a connection to, and they're like, oh, you guys actually have, like, oh, you guys actually have, like, like a rich history that you can learn about that. Unfortunately got wiped out, but they're like, I don't care. Well, it's, it's wiped out, but also like, Spanish. What's up?

Not, you know, it's like wiped out, but it's like. Yeah, I just mean like their, you know, their culture got completely wiped out because they mostly died. Their physical history is like right next to them, but they're like. Yeah. But yeah, that's, that is an unfortunate thing. So, like, seeing them, like, go so hard on, like, how they do, like, baptisms and, like, christening, stuff like that.

And it's like, I don't have to say, I got, I got to give it to Catholicism. Like, I just, I'm thinking about just, I'm thinking about There's a reason why they won. Yeah. Worldwide, I think about it. Because even like Jojo's culture, they're Catholic. And she wasn't sure exactly what it was, but she started describing everything. And I was like, I wonder if she's like Orthodox Christian.

Like there's a lot of Eastern Europeans that are. But it's almost interchangeable. When I start looking at their drip and stuff that they do, I'm like, it's almost the fucking sign. Yeah, I've kind of fallen. I was kind of raised since I'm 7th-Day Ventis. I'm like, that Orthodox shit is a very huge part of my religious. experience do. Do they have drip over there

in this? Some of what do you? Sent, sent, um, oh my God, I don't know where my people are from

St. Thomas. Do they have, did they have like that kind of cool shit in there? No, it's more tribal. It's more like,

it's more like Afro tribal stuff with like Taino, like Taino influence opposed to like Puerto Rican is more Taino with like a bit of Afro influence.

Why don't we have like Pope or Deakin drip stuff? Why don't we just wear that? Like us in general? Us, like us proper. I come in like a fucking, what's it called?

The motherfuckers, executioners. An executioner? You're doing great. No, I'm trying to think of it. Give me the work. Give me the time. Give me some time. Card effects?

What are you talking about? Jackal. Exemplars. There you go. Like exemplars. Drip on a Bible in my hand and a fucking giant hammer on my back. I'm going to show you exactly. I'm going to kill all the pig.

I'm going to flatten the fucking. pagan to my hammer in my Bible. I believe in God, but I'm going to rape. So look at this guy, Archbishop Penroy, Pithroy. Look at that drip. Exactly. I want, like, that looks ridiculous.

It's so gaudy, but it's disgusting. That's exactly what it is. It's so, their stuff is so over the top and stupid. The battle priest. It reminds me, you know, the deacons of the deep or whatever in Dark Souls 3? Yeah.

That one boss, the easiest boss in the entire series, because all you do is kill them and then the soul keeps traveling. It's literally, no. He just follow it. He just follow it. Whop their ass. But like, they're all dripped out in that Pope shit. And I was like, this is fucking fire.

Like, imagine this being, like, we're all just hanging out of these crazy as clothes. We can't even be in the same room. We're just fucking tens of thousands of dollars of just ornation around us. And it's like, all right. This is really cool. I'll see my little scepter. Yeah. A little bit.

Waste a lot of money, but aren't I great? Aren't I great? My family can't eat, but like, look at me. hopefully in the next life things will be good, right? That's what I'm doing it. I'm going to move Joe Joe and I into a studio so we can afford a Pope drip.

Good idea. That's crazy. It's a good investment. I agree. I think so. You're bad to come out the closet. Like, you know, the ironing board beds? Yeah.

Dude, I love those. What happened to those, man? I love that. Like, that was something I, I had a friend who lived in the city who had one of those because you need them in the city because the apartments are so small.

And I just remember the Murphy beds, I think they're called. Yeah. I just remember being like, this is a fucking great idea. I think the idea of that is cool. Like, I love this. If you just have, like, I like, I'd like to have one of those if I possibly had a more spacious apartment, you know. Like, if I had like a, like, instead of having people sleep on my couch, I'd love people to have.

I have a really big thing about who sleeping on my couch. I don't like it. I don't like people sleep on the couch. Why's that? Because I was, when I grew up, I was like, because my grandma always had like these fucking stupid ass fancy leather couches that she would actually take the plastic off of. So I was like, you guys can't sleep here. You guys got to go to your room and sleep. So that her rules rubbed off on you?

Yes, it's like, just don't sleep in the living room. Because when you sleep in a living room also, you prevent the room from being used from other people as well, too. So now no one else can fucking use it, you know, because you're here sleeping. You slept in the living room. Well, I had to. Yeah, I bet. That's the thing. It's like, it wasn't like a choice.

That's usually most people, that's why they sleep. Yeah, nobody sleeps in the living room because they want to. Oh, yeah. But like for me, like for me now, like, if I had a chance, that's why I said if I had a chance to, like, have that with a different, like, a more spacious places. Like, oh, it comes out of the closet. here's another bed, you know? Hell yeah. Space saving furniture, I just, I'm really into.

It's objectively smart. I like, I like it. I understand there's a lot of mechanisms that can go, that's the only real reason why I never really invest in it because like the idea of like, oh, if like one part of this breaks, then the whole thing is kind of fucked. And then I have to replace it and like how specialty of a part is that. And they don't, and they don't build so anything. Anything with more than one component, really, like always has that extra layer of like,

okay, this becomes more complex and this becomes a bigger problem to fix down the line. my dad you know my dad really got this into me were like and i think he was just joking around i'm sure he just meant it as a joke but it like it hit me in a core of my brain where i'll never be able to forget it and it really really altered my brain entirely where like i opened the recliner once and he was like that's you know you just that's exactly one less recline that that chair can do now that is so insane oh my and i think about that that every time I use anything. Yeah, that's true.

Every time you breathe, that's one less breath you have left to breathe. Right. But like, so what? That's like such an arbitrary thing to be like. No, but none of that's true. It is through. No, it is true,

but like also sew the fuck what? All you can do is just replace the nuts and bolts. Well, yeah, I know, without having to do that. Right, without having to do that. But that's, yeah, the inaugural run of this thing without you having to inconvenience yourself

to fix it. Yeah. You know? Well, that's, it's over. Well, to me, I'm like, well, whatever. But to me, it's like, it's like growing up with, I can't, I feel of cheated as like, I feel cheated as like, I think there was a little bit of a graze, I think or something. But I feel cheated were the way that we conserved energy as like, like, seeing how my mom and parents conserved energy. And we, I didn't get AC until after high school.

And, yeah, just we never had any units installed. We didn't have Central Air. the units got installed after I think it was 2008 You were living in that Hey Arnold episode Where they were like just sweating Yeah we just

Especially out here We just live We just fucking fans dude Fans taking extra showers Like you take it like It's so hot I'm just gonna jump in the shower For a couple minutes to cool down

And then when you come out It feels so fucking great Like sometimes I would even have like a jersey Because jersees would hold so much water And just put the jersey on And it would You know hold all that water And keep me cool

Stuff like that And I'm just like, how would you be to be your house wet with your jersey on? Well, I would be, it wouldn't be dripping. Would you chill in the shower until like extra drip is gone? So I would, I would like ring out. So it wouldn't be dripping. Okay. But it hold it held enough water that it kept me cool.

I'm sorry, man. This is tough living. The thing is like, it didn't need to be like that because I'm an adult now where things are more expensive than it were for them. And I run that AC all fucking day. It is crazy. And like, I can afford it. It's, yeah, the bill's a little high. can afford it.

It's crazy. What the fuck, Mom? The misconception of how people told us air conditioning work. Yeah. Because they get like, oh, air conditioning is like every time you turn it off and turn it on, you're going to fucking, every time you leave it on is going to use more. It's like, no, turning it on is what burns a huge amount of energy. It's starting it up.

If you leave it on, it will be fine relatively. If you keep turning it on and off, that's where the problem comes from. Yeah. And it's like, this is a huge lie that like poor people were told just so, just sort of live harder. Who brought that lie to them that was like, even then though. Even then though, like I just still, I think it's like, I'll put it this way. I can't imagine a world where I would prioritize other luxuries over air conditioning.

You know what I mean? Like if there is anything that I'm going to splurge on, it's air conditioning. Yeah. Or like just, or heating it in a cold, like anything that keeps the temperature livable. There's three, right? Why am I going to have? We're going to have a cable package over. We had cable in every room.

We're in the AC. Fuck cable. If we could have had AC, oh my God. Like it just... Literally, there's three things. It's insane. There's three splurges, right? There's...

My parents weren't like that, thank God. They were okay with the AC. My grandma wasn't like that. I don't think... No, there was times, but that was more of my aunt because she lived with us. I think my mom had AC in her master bedroom.

She didn't get fuck about you, niggas. For real. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I was like scanning my brain into a room and I'm like, Wait a second. Yeah, they were good.

Yeah. None of us were. I remember cooking kids. I remember when we... I remember when we... Brown children while you know, cheese chilling. I remember...

Holy fuck. You know, I actually thought about moving, like, before I moved to L.A. I actually thought about moving into my old building. And youngers? Yeah, because I loved that. I really did like the building a lot.

And I loved to that apartment. But I remember... We were talking about going to Queens. Yeah, we were thinking about going to Queens before I moved out here. I remember I had an AC in my window. that was so fucking cool man it was like the old wood

oh you had the old ones that would like freeze you right I loved it you could make it snow I remember like I remember like going out it's such a vivid memory of like going out one summer and it was I think it was like riding bikes and like some fucking probably in tibbits or something and then I remember like it was so fucking hot and I grabbed a snapple from like the

the gas station and I walked into my room and I had it on the whole thing I left the air conditioner on the whole time and it was like it was like 40 degrees and it was awesome. They don't make air conditioners

I don't even think legally can do that now Probably not I think you have to go in You have to do something to them You have to like mod your air conditioner Which I mean I'm like a

I would do it so I have central air And it's good But if I Like yo If I could get like A window unit AC That was like from the 70s

That'll pump like No One thing you can do If you invest a decent amount of money into a portable one, some of them are fucking like icicles, dude. Some of them are ridiculous. A portable AC? What even is that?

So it's that. Like, so all you do is you just get this stupid question. Yeah. You get like a little, there's just a little makeshift thing so you put it into your window. It's just a little block so it can go different sizes. So ours in the bedroom,

I had to get an extension because it's the whole sliding glass door. But that's how we, because we don't have a unit in the master bedroom put it. I bought one that was like $300. and it was like 14,000 BTUs, they're in BTUs, the units. Yeah, yeah. And, like, there's ones that are much higher

that will freeze you, you know? But you gotta pay a pretty penny for them. So, like, you can do it if you want to. Just look at the, look at the, like, the strongest ones that's probably meant for, like, a big fucking room. A factory. For a factory, you're just like,

look for a portable... And you die in your sleep. You die in sleep. You die with a cold smile. You can look for one that's for, like, large bedroom like a portable AC and put it in like a master bedroom

a little bit yeah yeah I love I love that sensation man it's just like the sun the sun pouring through the window you know it's hot outside and then like you always you can feel the breeze

coming from under the door yeah yeah it's just like oh you get it in the covers it's like ooh I'm I love I love the cold I don't mind temperatures really anything like I don't like

it could be really hot and I'll be relatively fine it could be really cold I'll be relatively fine so I'm not like somebody complains about it. I remember we had Central Air, I don't remember,

I think it was like, don't touch the fucking termist, that kind of shit. And it's like, Grandma, you're from the fucking, you're, you're a fucking spearthroar from the fucking Caribbean

and like fucking coconut tree person. Nothing's going to bother you. So I'd be like at like 64 all, not see four, maybe like 70s, like 71, 72 all the time. And my grandma, it's like, Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell,

host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them. Pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today,

with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah, wow. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept.

that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor,

ORAIDA, Silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meats, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Can we turn on a little bit? He's like, I'm fine.

I'm like, yeah, because you're not from here. That's why you're fine. You're from the tropics. Right. Yeah. As long as it's not humid, you'll deal with anything that happens. Sometimes I'm sitting in this apartment and it's like 78 and I didn't even realize it. Yeah.

I'm just like, oh shit, I just turned the air on. It definitely depends on... You gotta be a notified of it last time. I think because I know I can change it at any point. Like, I'm not... You know what I mean? It's not like that torture of when you're a kid and like you have no control.

And it's just like you're just suffering and you never... You don't know when it's going to end because it just completely depends on like whether or not your family has chosen to be merciful. Right, right. Whereas like now it's just like even if I'm uncomfortable, it's like, yeah, I'm uncomfortable. Like, not that uncomfortable.

To stand it. It's more uncomfortable for me to stand up and change the air. That's crazy. Then it would be for me to change it. I usually don't notice until like, when it hits. 81 degrees because I have a little 80 is a is a spot right

right around there because I'll be on my computer I'll be doing a thing and then the user I'm like oh it's a little warm but yeah usually it's I've I've tough growing up yeah made me pretty decent under the covers with 80 plus degrees before because it's really it's really hard

for me not to see what covers on me it's really I do it I have to have at least a sheet on it I have to have recently acquired ability not to do it like last three years I have to have like a quilt or like a normal sheet doesn't work for me. Oh, it doesn't? Yeah, because I feel, I don't know, there's something about it. There's like, the monster's going to get me. I just need to. Yeah. I just feel unprotected. Exactly. I just need to be, that's what a sheet will work for me too. Like in the summer, it gets hotter.

A little sheet will do it for me. But, but again, grown ass man now put on the AC and the portable AC on the second setting. So it started getting cold. So in the middle of the night, I woke up and put a blanket on me. You know, because I'm like, I'm cold now. And I'm like, I love being an adult in that aspect. Right. I, 100%. I prefer being an adult and a child any day, but I do have things from the childhood that I miss. I miss not paying bills. Yeah, that's just that's, that's, that's, I love autonomy, you know? Like, I love autonomy. I love being, I love being able to be like, oh, I want this thing and I get it. And you know, no one has asked me about it, you know, but just kind of fuck because it didn't, kind of gifting, giving gifts and stuff like that of being ruined. Because like, it's really

hard to get me gifts because I get what I want for myself so frequently. That is true. Like I just, I gave up on gifts a long time ago. As an adult, I really don't need my I don't buy gifts and I don't expect them. That's kind of how I operate. I'm just like, I don't want gifts. I actually actively don't want gifts. Well, look at you guys. Joe,

Joe just fucking cat like, oh, hey, I bought you. This was on sales like some clone. And I was like, thank you. Now I'm like, now you're in debt. Yeah.

And I was like, stop. Lily, Lily loves gifts. And they will bring it up. She does? She loves Christmas. Like it's our,

you know, you guys have heard me by doing Christmas. Yeah, and she loves this. Yeah, you love this. Yeah. This guy. every Christmas at least like a man and a half.

To me, I feel like it's very rude to even accept something from you knowing that you're not bawling like they are. That's crazy to me. I mean, they could just give me like a pack of gum. You know, like it's a thought that counts. It's whatever. I've gotten used to it. I appreciate. He's gotten used to getting fucked.

He likes it. I mean, that's everybody. That's everybody really. Let's get the fuck out of here. Yeah, let's read the names now. $25 and a patrons. Remember, you can go over Christmas. I'm ready.

You can go over to patreon.com slash the Star Tank. Check us out over there. Get your name right at the end of the show. Ask us some questions and we'll answer them. Exclusive episodes. All that jazz. Add free. Early access.

Go over there. Come on. Toss us a penny. Do it please. Thanks everybody who's been there, you know, and continue to support us. Yeah, we appreciate you all. We love you. Drag new niggis in here.

I need more money. Drag them. Drag them. Break into their fucking home and make them subscribe. Yeah. You don't subscribe with a pistol to their mouth and say if you don't subscribe, if you don't subscribe your kids, get it.

Steal your parents' credit card right now. That's great. All right. Count me down. Three, two, one. The gap between Sweeney's teeth being held together by Toby McGuire's Spider-Man. He's not strong on that.

That's it. We lost everybody. You have one guy donated. We have one guy $25. Dwerking till it ain't working. Zordon mom-dani. Zordon? Wait, Zordon, Mandami?

Mandami? I don't know what the fuck. I don't understand that. Alpha. Alpha. Help. Alpha. Get me burritos.

My penis doesn't work, Alpha. What happened? You don't have a penis, you dumb, be it. You're not a human. They don't have done of those. Oh. Was that a christen? Replaced my penis with a croissant, alpha.

Is that a croissant? Yeah, it is a croissant. It's a ham and cheese. Ham and Swiss specifically. Hmm. Very good. Not worth the price even a little bit. Of course.

Absolutely not. Of course. Of fucking course. When I thought croissants are fancy I was like wow, croissant is so cool. Crescent suck, dude. I'm not really,

I like, I like a Danish. Don't give you wrong. I like a croissant if I don't pay for it. There's that. Yeah. I like a Danish.

A little cheese Danish, you know, a little raspberry Danish. Whatever, man. The Dead Spider, Rimshot, not a drum. Rim shot, not on a drum.

Shooting an Indian for Lex Luthor accurate cosplay. Seemed as morbid as hell. I uncummed. I uncummed when I saw the news today. I uncummed. Getting my dick sucked. Yeah, yeah. The pipes right back in the balls.

Dick sucked by an elephant trunk. Texas Red. Texas, is that the guy from Big Iron? Yeah, Texas Slim was a guy from Big Iron. Are you sure? I think it was Texas Slim. Are you really? I think so.

The song, Big Iron on his hip from Fallout. No, red sounds right too, actually. Oh, man, I think... Texas Slim doesn't sound like it would fit well, Cililibol. It might be the guy from fucking sinners. And the guy... The Texas Red.

Yeah, I feel like it's Texas Red. Fucking crazy. Delta Gamma. Big Gay, Big. Beetle-sucking Beetle dick for the taste. Literally, that's crazy. Literally fed this toddler last week. Why is it still crying?

Squimp is bugs. Clamuel Esquire the third. I would go feral for Britney Spears in Womanizer. I don't remember that one. Yeah. I was never that into Britney Spitz. Not even for like a, any reason.

It was just kind of like. She was, she was like, when I, when I was too young to think she was hot really ever. even though she's not really that much older than us actually like truly I thought I thought toxic I thought she was pretty intoxic I just wasn't that in

she struck me as like I'm making Fox type in where I was just kind of like yeah you're very conventionally attractive and I understand I'm just I just don't I don't care yeah you know She's a blondeie and blondeies usually The status don't succeed on me I just too much I'm not a blind

Yeah actually I think about it I didn't really do much for me I like I like blind I just like, I don't like the conventional. Oh, we can tell, Derek. You can tell. The conventional. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, you don't know my catalog.

Objectively true also. That is a one's actually probably the least that I've. That's crazy. Yeah. It's just a recency bias. I see what you're saying. Yeah. My catalog.

You don't know my portfolio. My portfolio. My portfolio. Yeah, she never. My portfolio makes no fucking sense. My portfolio. Let's see. is very,

Willem Defoe. Yeah, yeah. Bob Barker. I did. Amy Winehouse, Bob Barker again. I dated Bob Barker and then I broke up with him and then I dated Amy Winehouse and then I broke up with her to get back with Bob Barker. I was like Bob, you know I got to get my cat spay and neuter your pets.

You know I got to get my boy spayed and neutered Bob. Get over here. You sir or Guildmaster. Snark Tank's hung his beetle girl. Snartang's hungest beetle girl. Colin Moriarty. Ozzie became the real guardian of metal. It's true.

Brutal legend is now canon Tag Sabbath Paranoia aka pair of groins A pair of groins That is such a stretch Finish with my woman Because I love having sex with guys People think I'm insane

That's awesome I like I mean that is literally the Finish with my woman Is the first I'm sucking penis all the time That's an obvious That's an obvious one

I need a couple weeks to pass I feel like me were gonna be too bad Yeah I know yeah Right now you can't do it You gotta you gotta wait We love Ozzy listen Oh sure I love it's a presence

Dude I try listening to interviews of this guy And I'm like focusing Like I'm fucking trying to beat like the best record of like a driving something or simulation. It is like it's fairly demanding. You do have to like kind of like QTE. What do you listen to?

I think he's so funny though. All of his interviews are hilarious. He's great. I'm going to Kill the President with a Mortar. The downside of IR shows is Derek and Tween can't fuck with their camera filters during the names. Oh, that is true. Yeah. That was ridiculous.

That was. And the biggest laugh I think still in the show's history is, is your camera flipping the fuck out. I just... I had a meltdown. It went insane. Was that the same time where it showed the pills that I had on the back?

Yeah. Like a fucking drug addict. It's a bunch of pills. It like swayed back and forth wildly between pills and nothing. Everything about that was hilarious. That was a really, really, really funny fucking bit.

I was like, what the fuck? That's as good of a bit as you could hope to get out of, a camera like that. Yeah. Well, hey guys. If the country can see any, like, significantly

weirder, you know, brought his book of, you. I get the fuck out of here. Who knows? Book of fly. Yeah, cameras come back. Book of fly.

Because it's going to, it's, we're only one eighth of the way done, man. Look, I'm still holding on to that maybe this Epstein, something will have him chill out for a bit. I don't. Maybe.

It might make him do crazy or shit to. I think he's going to flip out. grasping at straws here, man. I'm hoping for Moundani. That's what I'm hoping for. A wave of Mondani. I'm just, I'm grasping at straws.

There's that, there's that other guy too, the, the, there's another, there's like a, look, how do I say it?

There's a, there's a, there's a guy like Mom Dani or like, like, like being talked about in that same, he's like a very thin black guy.

But he, like, concerningly thin, like he looks a little, uh, a little macey. He looks, does he look like,

he looks like he's the captain now. Does he have like he actually looks like he's from that region? Yeah. What's the name of the guy from South Park, the little black guy? Starvin Marvin Marvin. Starvin Marvin. That is classic. That is a throwback.

He hasn't come back since like 2002, maybe. Gay Saul Goodman is slipping gay. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM. Chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them.

Pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind it. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it.

We say you can leverage what we did. We are happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season.

These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Slipping gay? Slipping Jimmy instead of Slipping Jimmy, you wrote Slipping gay.

Very, very clever. Amazing. Wordsmith. I need to get my ass cleaned or whatever. What is the prompt? What is it? Oh, I need a buy a vacuum. What is it?

Oh, I need a new pump for my, uh, who, vacuum or something like that yeah my ass I need more I knew more I knew that by heart

for a while I need more cock for my butt so stupid saying that in a phone to somebody else we should do prank calls

a print call segment for the podcast that'd be crazy I think prank calls I don't have the composure I have the only ones that I have

actually enjoyed were donkeys. Oh, right, yeah. Dunkeys were pretty good. It would just be me saying a bunch of slurs to somebody on the phone and then being like, what the fuck was that about?

I need a dust filter for a Hoover Max extract 60 pressure pro. Okay, very specific. Yeah. Mega specific. I need a fucking send me a guy. Send over a dude.

No one would show up. Send over a dude. Two rats in a trench coat. Sam Porter, bitches. I will never get gay buddy Holly Rest in penis. Chris the Tofster. Fucking a toaster.

Berserker, Big Bouncy Baxter, Big Bouncytesy Baxter Big Boussin'OXEE I see Peens like I see peens like trees, tight buttholes too. Jeez, are you serious? What is that? I see peans like

trees tied burrows to there we go girthy meat flutes they glisten with loo and I think to myself and

I'm gay I'm gay I'm gay I'm gay I'm gay look at it's so fun to do like it is

what a fun voice to do absolutely me I'm on the mood What a classic I love that video so much That's great

Help And he exasperated And he laughs a little bit I love when you can hear people Kind of laugh When they crack a little bit Yeah when they crack a little bit Absolutely

I think breaking character is fucking hilarious As long as it's not like Jimmy Fallon That's the whole thing That your entire premise is that you're getting Like Have you guys Have you guys

Have you guys? He's so not funny Like why can't Why isn't he Getting his show canceled? I want You know He's cancel that guy

Yeah, I'm sorry. I will say as much as I don't like, as much as I don't really like Colbert's late night run, I think it's really boring and dumb. I like Colbert more than I like Fallon. God, but I like as a guy. Country Mile more. But yeah, I agree with you with the show.

I didn't watch that show because the Colbert report was too good for me that like this, whatever. Yeah, they had no shot. It was just like, this is boring. Like, Colbert was fucking a master class of like parody. Yeah. Like you're not going to do. Colbert and you're not going to do

this late night I think better than Conan does so like I don't know why I'm I don't know what the point of even yeah I think they can all leave I personally that's why Conan left I mean he just does podcast now and they're good yeah yeah Conan just gets it man Jeff Epstein the New York financier

was that that a no no that's the Conan bit with like the guy who wrote jokes with Norm oh right right right when they're talking about Jeffrey Epstein right he's like you're talking about Jeff Epstein the New York financier I forgot about that, yeah, yeah If something was happening with Jeff Epstein

I would know about it Cravely Shrimpsen I restrain myself from the hyperbolic chamber joke Chester Don Cheatles cheesy Velveter Bussy Beetlefucker 12,577 The Fucker of 12,577 Beatles, Domination Clit dribble TLC's no straights be like

A gay is a gay who thinks he's gay And is a gay Who thinks he's gay and also known as a as a gay as a gay always talking about being gay and he's so fucking gay

gay I don't know gay the lazy is fucking no effort at all you're gay that song was so that song was so fucking good

oh my god it's a good song that I was definitely after that song came out but I remember being on all the time for some reason I definitely listen to, I mean, I listen, Destiny's Child is a heavy, like heavy influence from that. I remember, I remember, I remember listening to a shit ton of this. I just added a bunch of Destiny's Child to my playlist.

Nice. I was like, oh, yeah. I like Destiny's Child, but they weren't my favorite. I was more of a TLC person. I loved Destiny's Child. I was, I mean, I was on, obviously, since they're older, I was much. I had their crazy, sexy cool album. Oh, my, yeah.

My sister, my sister's closer in age to you than me, I think. Or probably right in the middle. I think it's right in the middle. but she fucking, that's crazy, dude. You can draw so many things. Why do you draw a weird penis? A very thin penis with a very unimpressive ball. Jesus Christ.

Round-night agent firing cum shots into the air to keep rent low. That's crazy. There's a serial masturbator in the neighborhood, so now the prices. Is that how it works? Well, there was that video of the guy who's like, sometimes I shoot guns out my window, just to keep property. value low. That's real shit.

That's a great idea. Not all heroes, you know. Not all heroes wear caves. Sometimes they're, you know. Cyclops. I like that. I like that sociopaths. Gay Justin Bieber be like, it's not cocking to you that I'm standing on penis.

A Gamergate is a worker ant that can reproduce sexually. Most worker ants are sterile. I don't know what you're saying. Brandy Hutzel. Grah. I return to get my barbed cock wet. wet. You feel me, Bub? Mier. Mour. Blonde, blue-eyed German man

reminding the other patron that Germans are rarely annoying, since Germans are rarely black. That's crazy. Whoa. That is insane. Did you think that was funny? I love... I do love the idea of like a black guy with a German accent. I love any time something like that happens where like there's, the Asian Jamaicans, you ever see those videos? Yeah, I've met them. It's crazy.

They're fucking insane. That's a wild thing to... I've only had bad interactions with them too, which is hilarious. So I hate him. Me think me go on find the talismans. Why, why? You know where I find me some good dog to you? That's in stats. Yeah.

Crazy. God, if Actman can get Roger Clark, so can you. Oh, he did get Roger Clark. First of all. No. Actman. No.

Actman exists in a far more professional capacity. I have an idea. This podcast. We'll get Actman. and which will lead us to getting Roger Clark Oh you know what we'll do We'll do like a Sam Cedar fake out

Where we'll have We'll have Actman get Roger Clark for his show And then we'll swoop into Agnes plays He's like Roger Clark We're doing the show now Who the hell are you? He just always

He's always Arthur Morgan Every time When he gets excited You can hear Arthur and his voice Yeah Well I'm Yeah well

Well I got cookie dough from Dunk donuts and wasn't that good but I enjoy it. Taste like Pee-P as far as I'm concerned. Man, I miss Lenny. I miss Lenny. Why do you keep drawing this fucking bird?

This is the second time this guy showed up. Hey, turn him the right way. Give him some respect. He's still, he's upside down. Damn. What are you? I'm a fucking idiot.

Oh my God. It's like dealing with like I'm trying If you're If you're in customer service I imagine This is what you have

Like if you're like Telephone service or whatever Like this is That's your experience Do not redeem it Do not redeem it Why did you redeem it? I really was trying

I'm like I really did not mean To be incompetent as a bit That was funny Yeah Look at it Oh shit wait Which where we go

Do Ha ha ha I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. Getting motion from the earth's rotation. Oh, my cheeks hurt. Ah. Root 9 Rby's is now at Duncan.

Hope this helps. You're right. As you said that, I remembered. Dougzilla, it still looks like a cathedral, though. It's weird. Is that cortex is fucking simple? What is that? He drew a triangle with the N-word. With N in it. With an internet

Which you know what it stands for Yeah clearly It's hilarious Oh nefarious yeah You're saying mysterious I said nefarious The fuck did you just say to me Mysterious

What did you just say to me He's made a new word right now Mysterious Oh my god Disterious I mean if something can be mysterious Why can't something Why can it be mysterious

It means it's completely transparent And just obvious Oh It's like an antonym All right Put in Webster's Get on it How do we submit stuff to Webster's?

How does it work? I think the world has to agree. Does it? Yeah, it's kind of like how chalant is happening now. Or chalant. Salant. What do you mean? Yeah.

Nonchalant. People are saying salant now. So, yeah, nonchalant doesn't. Chalant, I think it's like a French word, but we don't have like an equivalent. But like, so we just took nonchalant and that's like an English word. Yeah. But now people are like reverse engineering like chelant from it. Yeah.

Oh, they're saying shallant instead of saying like obvious or something? well yeah well it would be the opposite of nonchalant which means like nonchalant is like kind of care for you right so like I guess it would be like more like serious or like attentive I guess would be shalant I don't fucking care man I'm sorry yeah you wouldn't care

about anything interesting I thought like oh who cares I don't I don't actually don't care either GTA 4 I was like whatever GTA 4 GTA 4 swing set glitch Thugzilla destroy all magas melee

on some Mario bro shit after the bill past introducing our new merch item the patent pending evil ass rape machine. Whoa. Brilliant. Jack WFM, the hole in the roof is where he hides his sneezes. And Donald Trump is a pito and the real world,

uh, not here in my backpack. I don't know what the fuck you're saying. No, I don't know. Jack WFM. Thank you. You're having an episode.

I'm going to shit Sween's pants. The cock fisto suck my ball. The Callisto protocol. Amazing. Oh yeah. Y'all are Comtown, but without Down syndrome. jokes. Big meaty stinks. Canola Joe

deep frying Netting Yahoo to death. Filling Sween's tooth gap with fibrous shit. Jesus Christ. Gay actor Good luck Jonathan. Once again by the way didn't look it up. I keep forgetting. I wrote it down too.

I wrote it down and they never said. Good luck. You're not going to be able to read that when you're looking at again. I'm sure I remember. It's over, dude. Yeah, whatever. and Norman Osborne duet singing Crazy Train. Norman Osborne?

Oh my God. I actually would like to hear that. Crazy. Crazy. I don't even know. That's how it goes. Millions of people. Living his foes.

That's good. I actually, I did a monologue when he was talking to himself in the mirror, having that, like, thing. I did that in a freshman year? Yeah. Fresh year. Like, just to yourself?

Yeah, I just did it for no reason. No, it was in drama. I was in dramas. I did it. I left out so much content. I did a monologue by yourself. I was in drama or theater class. I just like you're in the bathroom in high school.

Like, when I say freshman year, I'm thinking, oh, they'll understand that I'd be in high school. No. That just means that. The people of this city. Sometimes you just have to have a monologue in front of a mirror. Yeah. I've never had one. Well, you don't think about anything.

I don't have this. He just does the thing where he's like padding. Yeah. He's just fucking in front of like, that's it. For hours, like six hours a day. He just does it. In front of my computer screen, nothing's on this padding. And Lily's like, look at him.

He's at peace. He's like, literally he's not concerned at all. Ew, just the AMR of you just like lightly tapping your keyboard but not pressing. Anything? It's me wanting a piano and not having it and not knowing how to use it very well either. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake M. Beta.

We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to, have a legacy of building stuff, building actual physical machines.

Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right?

My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point? with quantum. By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop. online. Save on eligible items from

Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signatures Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Amazing. Simple life. It must have really killed the vibe when all those people got snatched by eyes last week at

Lily's Kinsenera. Heath eating truck stop sushi on the regular Gids Sween a certified rag. Can we get a death metal logo snark tank? Can we get a death metal logo snark tank tote bag please the Palestinian assassin got Ozzy Osborne Hulk Hogan died I'm dead and I'm dead and racist brother la Mao giggling bouncing and twirling at Mach 7 Mach 7

I like that It's causing damage to the area around the person Just not going Mach 10 but like Mach 7 is funny to me like it's just like why even Yeah. Why I choose such a specific. In downtown Manhattan, you misspelled Manhattan, by the way. Mock is already such a terrible speed to be going. That's a terrifying speed to be moving.

That's tiring. When I'm running at Mock 1, it's fucking tiring, man. Okay. Fasten the speed of sound. You take off and people's ears blow up. He starts to be bleeding on his, his fucking ears start bleeding, and he starts coughing up blood. He was like, sorry, loser. Evening fag

Boom Better run a 30 millisecond mile By The damage you would do The damage you do to your body You'd be so starving afterwards Are I been tripping after that? You would be cooked

Unless you can regenerate Unless you can regenerate You're gone You'd fall, spill And then missed I think at that point Probably unless, you know, like a bike

or you're wearing leather jackets and clothing, you know? I think that'll save you. You ever see them spill on the highway and they're like slide on the leather? They're fine. And they get them stand right back up catch their motorcycle

and start driving on the cat. With one-handed catching a motorcycle or a baby. It's just so fucking stupid. It's like something that like Blade would do. That's just so like, it was really stupid. Fuck yeah, nigga. That just drives up.

He says it to, he says it to like the widest person in their car looking at him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some like Canadian fuck. Oh, hey, damn. I thought it was a moose, was a black person. They're very similar.

Fianitivically. Jesus Christ. Turning, turning Japanese cover by Kirsten Dunst in 2009. Big Birdstein. Fuck you, Ryan, pay my TV license, bitch of Mr. Pants. I've sucker fucked

12 derricks and 37 Sweens from alternate timelines. What sucker fucking raping? I don't know, man. Is that raping? I guess that. I think so. Like sucker punching somebody?

I think it has to be that, right? I'm just the messenger. I know as much as you do. I'm pretty sure. What else could it be? What else could it be? Fuckface unstoppable cardboard pie. I replaced the Rds of my Dodgeram with Ws

and now my engine sounds like, wake me up before you go-go. Nigard Ziggard. is that the mayor of new york is that is that who the okay i thought that was the same person eric adams no i mean sure no is that not the guy that's running right now oh you mean zara mhmdani oh i thought it was nickard zygdard okay excuse me i understand i get mixing i always get a mixed up yeah right i didn't think i knew i wasn't crazy Yeah, so a sucker fuck is fucking someone unexpected.

I don't know. They're like fighting somebody who's genuinely crazy and then like agreeing with them and them saying like, I knew I wasn't crazy. I knew what was it crazy. I knew. And then they shit their pants and walk away. I was watching Ovenproofing the other day.

I saw Tim Allen crawl out of the TV steal something out of my fridge and walk back in the TV. And it's crazy to me that no one's talking about this. And you go like, yeah, I think that's actually crazy. Same thing happened to me. And it was like, I knew I wasn't crazy. Just validating people without our fucking. fucking psychotic.

That's fun. What I would do is I'd set a trap, right? I'm definitely going crazy, right? So I would like set a trap. Like he'd fucking like, I don't know, like something would spring on him and catch him when he opens my fridge eventually. But then it actually catches him. And I'm like, what the fuck do I do now?

You've caught television's Tim Allen. You absolutely have to show somebody. I'm like, look, this is Tim Allen from 2004 in my living room right now. That would be fucking crazy. Like that's like shirt guy. You can do that. Oh, yeah. With like anything on TV.

Now, how did 2004, Tim Allen get into your fridge? What do you think happened? He came out of my TV. I saw it all happened. So you saw it. So you're watching home improvement. And since he's the size of your television, that's the actual size he is when he comes out of the TV.

No, no, no, it's a full size him. But he just, you have a lifestyle. You have a fucking will he want to go. When they do the TV, they pluck the TV. Fair. That is a possible. Fair. It comes out, gets out, and you grab him.

A fair point here. You're making a lot of good points. Can you kill that? that to Malin then effectively? It's not a human. I think how did they kill the ring monster in the movie The Ring? Did they kill it or do you something with it? They definitely just told her about like tax

problems and how much like if you, how many they probably threatened to swear or she was probably like Evangelical Christian zombie Solomon Fundy. I'm going back in. I can't I can't. That's too much money. That's so dumb evangelical Christian zombie Solomon Fundy. That is so stupid.

To even understand that joke is insane. Fundy. that's fire. That's a really good joke actually. That's fire. That's a really good joke. I promise you 80% of the audience doesn't know what the fuck that is. Probably not.

That's a good joke. That is a good joke for the right room. You're not in the right room for that. That's a good joke for joke's sake, but like you're not going to get last from that. Yeah. Yeah. It's good. But that's an academic joke.

It is. Mexican Obama be like, let me be clear. And it's just the end word. Uh, gay. Rip and tear until it's, rip and tear until it's done, Arthur. Damn. Oh, the wild woman. All right.

All right. You're ripping and tearing again. He's not always yelling. It's the only way I can do it. He's got to be. It's my only impression of, hearing his voice actors sound exactly like him is so funny. What? There's no alteration in his voice at all.

That's the fifth that we did about that, right? There was a... Yeah. What? Yeah, yeah, I don't remember what it was. It was just John Marston, but he was deaf, I think. Roll, we'll get your son back, John. Don't worry.

Huh? What? What are you saying? Sweeney and Kanye for president, 20208. Just in, Izzy Israel has miraculously passed away. Bats and Palestinians can now finally rest in peace. Goon Devil, the man without com. Um, hammering my dick into

flat to grind smithing levels. I call it Excalibur now. The gay clown flapping under your bed. Search Peter Lorry Fish Battle. Ozzy Osbourne dragging Hulk Hogan to hell. That'd be awesome. I like to think that's what he's doing, if there is an afterlife.

He's dragging Hulk Hogan now. I'm gonna kill you, but. I'll kill you, man. I'm gonna drag you to hell. Two fucking racers is kind of crazy, you know? That's kind of crazy. My fucking racers, it don't make sense now. Your mustache sucks.

Fucking leg drops fucking boring, mate. What are you talking about? You fucking bitch, you fucking bitch-ass-nigger. You bitch-ass-nigger, mate. He says that. I can get away with the hip. I can't wait over here. Satan's...

Satan, Satan, Stubbs... Satan. Stubbs Sween's toe and my life is yours. Sitchie the kid. Adam ruins everything versus Sheldon Cuber. Me, Tink McGwon, brutalize the Keita to David. That's crazy. That's so wrong.

Indiana Jones and the Jorkin to the Crystal Pins, new d and dn d weapon plus four bludgeoning hamster in a sock no daughter of mine is going to date some god damn clanker uh yush i like that that's a term that's a term that's going around now by the way clanker clanker see that video of the fucking robot freaking out like a roach yeah i have not i hate that video show show it he's like doing like a he's doing disco shit right they're playing disco in front of something he was dancing and it falls but it freaks out as it's as it's falling and on the ground and the way that it freaks out I hate it because it's just like it's so insect

like yeah it's like yeah it's like skittering I hate it it it's so clearly like like it's it's like it's a stroke. I think it had a stroke.

Like it never It's programming never been exposed to that fucking scenario of falling So it didn't know what to do Start screaming The way it falls it looks like it's confused I just hate I just hate that it's no When it falls down before it falls It's like what uh uh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

it really it's it's it is exactly like a roach on its back like it's it's fucking just putrid Putrid Putrid Trump here Everybody loves me No matter how racist And rapy

And dumb and gay And gross and fat and smelly And gay I am I'm still jerking Better than I ever did Jolkin like a true survivor Jolking like a little kid Jelking John Crocodile Cog

Amc's The Jolking Dead Fun fact They spent four issues On Herschel's Farm in the comics They stretched four issues Into a whole season Craig the Canadian That sounds right

It's ridiculous Four issues. It was four? You didn't know that? No! That's awesome. It's awesome that you didn't know that. An entire season dedicated to a little section is fucking hilarious.

That would be like a whole season of Uncle Ben being shot. Uncle Ben's death pretty much. I want that, though. Oh, yeah. I do want Uncle Ben dying. No, make your mistake. I want that. But yeah, no, I remember just what, even in the show, it just feels like,

we're spending a weirdly long time here man fucking leave because it's already weird fucking leave because they go there they go they go they go there right that's what he's screaming that that clip isn't even of him talking to his chat

that's him watching the Wongy dead season two and scream and leave the farm fucking leave leave fucking leave he's like yodling almost

I think this is the original and not the oh the auto tune God that video's probably lost the time I gotta find I gotta find the fucking

see this is the Hassan that I remember like this is like I was that's who I was like oh he's just a guy that just fucking that's a fucking heart attack

and he's angry at everything Craig the Canadian Hulk Hogan is dead thank goodness See if you can find that. I would love to hear that again. I haven't heard that in probably, actually years.

It's your boy, Shawnee D. Thank God for Asian women. Thank God for Stellar Blade nude mods. Come shot gaming TM. What is it? It's a fantastic fleshway. What the fuck, man? Why would you do that?

Like, why is you? You can make him hold on to it. That's crazy, too. Dude. Like, it's fucked up that he could actually do that, you know? He probably makes his dick bigger for her. Of course he does. He makes it exactly tailored to her.

He makes it bigger. He makes it a little bit bigger. And then he freaking, what you call it? He makes her go and vis him as I can see it inside of her. That's crazy. I mean, why wouldn't you do that? I haven't thought about this. Yeah, absolutely.

Every day. Grock, is this true? Gay Southern Beetle whipping his gay be able. Slave. Enigma Kiwi. Stop writing gay cards if you never gonna actually record them and release them, you Bums. I'm happy the buddy Holly X-Rammo. Uh, uh, oh. Spaghetti-o. What you got?

Uh-oh. And we're those. Uh-oh. That doesn't even That sucks. It doesn't even work. It doesn't even work. Yeah, we know. Like spaghetti.

inward You can't You can't make it good Anyway Nah nah nah nah nah Nah nah nah Getting niggie with it Drip MH

Lord of all drip Rest in peace Ozzy Osbourne Rest in piss Hulk Hogan Yes I remember this guy That guy to sniffer

Oh the butt sniffer Yeah he was on here Wasn't he? Yeah he was in Burbank I remember that I worked out with that guy once Are you serious? No

I was like Well I was like What the fuck? I was thinking Maybe it was the boxing thing. Like maybe he was just in the boxing

butt sniffing? Yeah and he was like sniffing your guys as gear and shit I thought maybe. That's crazy. Now that's hilarious Oh Chris come here. He grabs you

You can't get him off of you He lifts you up The FBI The FBI intern tip Tip Xing Oh The FBI The FBI intern tipxing

Trump's name out of the Epstein files one page at a time Unpaid Obie won't you blow me So gape they call him Slip in Jimmy Net Yahoo's nexus account only has the bot That lets you kill children at Skyrim Kremlin to Gremlin

I saw pro Jared's dick pick before I met him in real life Sween being real quiet about losing weight Harry wrecked him Sween he would be like what if instead of Squidward It was Nigward and he had an extra wide nose Wage Slate 53 I don't know Something gay, come I don't know Pippini Bros presents Crash Course Cybertron history

Rise of the Decepticons Donk, Donkerson, the colon swinging slasher Pee just learned the etymology of scumbag originally meant used condom. Oh, that makes sense. They're doing the club. Debra is Batman.

Oh, I thought I thought I was supposed to be there. I thought they're doing the Marvel DC collabs again after 24 years. I thought I wasn't even paying attention to the background. I thought that guy was about to do something stupid. I was paying attention to him. I was like, what is he going to die? Well, you've been showing me.

me bullshit so I know you're showing me actually real news. That is a very like that is a very cried wolf. That's what I'm saying. It's a cried wolf situation, right? Yeah. I wasn't even paid into the background.

That's crazy. She bought the class into a bill. That's crazy, dude. That's nice. Doggerson, the colon swinging slasher. Oh, I read these already. Stop fucking me. I'm sorry. We're working.

I know. Okay. It's my last thing. God damn. It's very much so. He is kicking a robot child. Dude, we're... We're fucking... We're done, dude. Like, we're...

We should all change our names to... Picking on robots is fun. I mean, Morgas to mumble for an hour. Me be fishy, a mean lesbian. My girlfriend de-gloved my cock during an epic blowjob, and at least I still came. John Strickland, Marks, 1889.

I hate when I'm clearly drunk, but the least drunk of the bunch. So someone asks for a ride. Yeah, that's a sucky situation, probably. I never done that. The first search of Keith... I always... I always...

I'm definitely never going to be the least drunk person. I'm either not drinking or I'm... It's going down. Scott Pilgrim versus the IDF, the first certificate David presents hamstrokers ejacula. Nice. That's actually a good one. Pre-Raws, Blake 896,

I got Lockjaw doing grave-bar chips at the dick-sucking factory and all I got was Lockjaw, as previously mentioned. With ass white open, fuck Charlie Kirk. I hope that all gums, no-teethed, Yakub-headed, cunt explodes. Have you seen that Photoshop of Top Gum? And it's just... It's Charlie Kirk's fucked up teeth.

Top gum. Like Top Gun. Yeah, I get it. She's not a good smiler. Well, I mean. Obviously. Yeah, no. I forgot I had the fucking Dead Rising.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What did I? What was I going to look up? Top gum. Top gum. I can find it. Dang gum. That's made her get shot in the back of the head.

Well, dang gum, guys. Amazing. The first thing I see is porn. When you type in top gum? Yeah, it's just like... That's like getting topped with gum, I guess? Is it just a dick-sucking thing? Topgum maverick.

That's crazy. That's so crazy. He's so unlikable. Oh, my Lord, dude. He should absolutely be beaten to a bloody pole. He's so unlikable. What sucks is that they play on the tough aspect. They're all so pussy.

Yeah. Sweene spoils something to make a shitty reference. There's no F-seen list in Bossing Sadez-Goopy. I'm a better man than you, Odysseus. It's fucking crazy. I beat the Cyclops, Odysseus. What about you? I finally saw the little preview of it.

Oh, yeah. It looks cool, dude. It's a year away. We're lost, Odysseus. That's not the same guy. I'm just putting the Wachydekid universe in there. Don't fuse that. Don't fuse.

It's already something. a magical world. Don't fuse motion in there. Kingston's dad picking up a gay little beetle off the ground. Kingston, my child, look at the better. He's more so he feeds it to him. Young Colin playing IRL Frogger on the freeway. Does the South Colin?

Him hopping into oncoming traffic. It was insane. Where is he going? But he's unscathed though. He's like hopping over to play Mega Man at the arcade. No, he's like he's going to like, uh, stupid. I got to go pick up a G. Joe from a stranger I met online.

and that's the goal that's the goal have you has perfect Colin been brought up on the show yeah yeah yeah what do you think of it what do you say

disgust he was laughing at it I explained it to him Dustin saw it he saw the clip but like I was explaining to you to him he thought it was amusing nice

somebody wrote in he's like your perfect Colin is now in the echelon of great snartang characters like black men racist Walt Jr. That's what they wrote in.

Races Walt Jr. I forgot about him. That was a good clip. Can someone make a compilation of all of the characters we've made? That's a tall job. That's so much worth to ask of somebody. If you do that, I would actually give you payment. I would, out of myself, I'd give you payment for it.

Yeah, he will. Yeah, that's why I don't need it. That's why I said I. But Agent 47's- But I'd appreciate it. Agent 47 versus Sneaking. Ooh, I didn't think about that. Sneaking from the Burger King video game

Oh, okay I thought you said, Sea King first. The stealth version of him, right? Sneaking. The Stealth. The Burger King game. Seeking the Pokemon?

Yeah, C-K. You know what's weird about those games? What do you remember those games being? I never played those games. But do you remember them? Like the, like the, when they were like to sale? They were PS1. Do you're a PS1 games, right?

No, not even close. I'm not even going to continue the line of questioning. Okay. Because. I don't know what they were. They were, they were original Xbox games. But,

but, cases were made to look like 360 games. And that's what I remember it was so weird about it because they had like the white logo, but it still said Xbox and it's like, what the fuck is that? Interesting.

They probably were meant to be for 360 and they were like, let's put it off of this one, I guess. Maybe, I don't know. Maybe it might have been just backwards compatible or something. Agent 47 versus sneaking that's Ziggy. In Chris's solo episode he called Derek the straight man of the group. How can that be true when Derek is obviously gay?

That is not what I said exactly. It's a fair point. Two Guatemalan's Spartans butterfly jumping the border. Sorry, Ms. Jackson, badly brave. Who's New York Nick? Ethereum needs help lowering his weapon, a hilly three, penis, nay from Melfast one, and rounding

out our list as always. You know him. You love him. Kyle Rittenhouse. Whoa. No, the king of haphazard. And thank you all for coming. Thank you all for listening. We appreciate you. Patreon.com slash of Starktank. Snarktank.com for merch. Go over there. Please help us out. Don't you dare not. Fuck off.

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