The Snark Tank - #350: Joe Rogan is the Greatest Comedian Alive

Episode Date: August 23, 2025

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Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Welcome. Welcome to the Snark Tank podcast, guys. I'm your host, Tom Sweeney. I'm here with him, Chris Raygun, and Derek. Nice. We were talking about, we got into a bit of a conversation.

We were talking about how racist Star Wars is and how not racist Star Trek is. Even though Star Trek is technically racist, but a different direction. But like, not bad. like it's like good like you show you yeah they show you racism you know how how it's dumb technically the USS enterprise or whatever is an allegory for white supremacy um you're right um never seen a single frame of star trek by the um that's it's quite literally is the opposite of that i think hold on do you know how impressive that would be to not see a frame it would be fundamentally because you definitely see like things blur by like on like like

compilation you've seen like at least Picard I don't know what that is What was that? They show you that you're like I don't know You're like stunned you're like yo that That looks really interesting I like to me their suits look

Yeah no it not seeing a single Frame honestly not seeing a single frame of anything Yeah Any of the pop culture like Yeah Like I haven't seen any of the world No I saw the first Harry Potter movie When I was I can't believe

It really doesn't make sense to me when it came out because I think I was in sixth grade when the first movie came out and it feels like that's wrong because it feels like because I know the books came out when I was even younger I know that

but it seems like they jumped on a train way too fast The book to movie pipeline was really quick for seeing that movie It's kind of crazy like when I think about it Or was it? No, you're right Yeah because the last book came out when we were in high school.

You were about the I think I was... No, no, no, I wasn't about to graduate. Really? No, no, I might have gotten into high school when the last book came out. The book, the movie. Yeah.

But that's kind of crazy. That is a really quick... I think the fourth, if I remember, the fourth one was either about to come out or it just came out or something around the movie. Around the first movie. Yeah, the first movie. I don't know if that's accurate.

If anybody... That's actually kind of nuts. It sounds nuts to me because what I remember is, I think I was in sixth grade. I should verify this because I could be completely wrong. We could, by the way, just simply look this up. That makes it funnier. Okay, yeah.

I'll let the comment section ridicule me. Yeah, fucking retard. It's so stupid. Harry Potter came out in the 80s. That's nuts. If it did, I would... My sister was reading Harry Potter. I mean, like, this is a really good book series.

And I'm like, what? The fourth one came out last week. He's like, no. At this point, actually, I'd be okay. I'd be like, times fracture. That's fine. Yeah, I'd be okay with it. It's whatever.

I've kind of accept. I have a new role that I'm really starting to accept, like, Like a fucking RPG character. Everything. I'm so self-aware that shit is terrible or getting worse that I'm like, it's okay. You know? It's acceptance.

Yeah, I got a beating. I got broke. I got buck broken. Damn. I really, I really, the, the, the, Tereik Nishy theory of work. The technocrats, Buck broke me.

They literally raped me until I, like, I'm feeling that. I'm feeling that. It's insane how the technocrats literally won and they had every reason not to win. Well, they won. It is what it is. They did a good job.

I should listen to my dad all this time. It is what it is. That was such sound advice the entire time. It is what it is, right? Yeah. Yeah, I was like, I'm done. I watched actually a few documentaries and certain things. I was starting to learn about Spotify's numbers and Apple's numbers.

And I was just like, we lost. It's over. It's fine. It's fine. It is what it is. It's fine. The, um, dude, speaking of Spotify and Apple, like, I don't know. I think I saw.

your comment on a video where like uh because i was looking up because i was a new rise against the album came out and i was like am i the only one who doesn't understand what they're doing here oh and i was like looking around i was like looking at reviews like i can't be the only one oh d frampton yeah yeah yeah what did i say i don't know you said something about the mix being horrendous i couldn't believe it is crazy i'm like bewildered by it i don't understand i didn't when i heard because i watched dan frampton he's cool shout out um um i didn't believe him right away because I'm like, can't be that bad.

No, man. And then I, I, what are they doing? I cannot. They're working with Catherine Marks, who I think produced like the killers and like, Manchester something orchestra or something.

I was like, why? You're a punk band. What are you doing? Yeah. Why are you going for such a, I can't, the only thing I could think of and I,

it doesn't make sense to me either. It's so it's a bad thought. It's just, it's just, AFI likes to rea invent themselves. AFI has a new sound that I don't love, but it doesn't sound, it's not mixed horribly. Right. That's what I'm saying. So I was thinking, oh, let's go for a different sound and they just, I'm going to be on, I've noticed a few, and I don't know if this is true, but I feel like to

save a lot on mastering, I feel like they're using these AI things. And it's fucking mixes up, because I have a theory of few things, because I've tried them because I think AI mixers is probably do a better job. Actually, unfortunately, it's, I have no explanation for that. I really know. I'm trying to come

with something rational. There's a song specifically, and I really just don't like anything on the album, really. But like, there's one song where it's like, it's like the second half of it, this is inside baseball for anybody who's listening, but like 40 days is a new track on their album or whatever.

And like the second half, it's like, you could hear it's like, oh, this would be good if I could hear it. It's crazy. I'm like on it like I could mix better than that and I can't mix exactly that's that's the problem if you had that tools if you had access to the tools that that producer had anyone in this room would do a better job that's insane it's fucking bewildering because it's that bad it's truly it's true like it is it is their worst by a long by an obvious smile it feels it's jarring because like obviously obviously like with bands like this you always have like the peak where it's like that was a while ago right they're not they're not gonna hit this this bar because that bar was already insane right at the time

and so you're not really i'm not expecting that again really i'm just like i want some good music that sounds like mixed and is enjoyable and the last record they did was mixed really really well I liked it quite a bit and then usually i feel like there's like a you know what I mean usually I feel like there's like a steady. It depends on the artist. Because I know a few artists for me, like Chance the rapper, right? He got a Grammy amazing album,

a freaking coloring book. His next album was like, lauded as like one of the worst. Oh yeah, that's right. The clear CD. Oh, right?

People hated that album about his wife, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. Is it backhanded? Was that? They split up. They split up.

Because people were like, because people were like, imagine. I'm going to, that's high eye, that's 40 chest level stuff. It's like, you know what? I'm going to dedicate this album to you.

I hate you. It's going to be my worst. That's critically paned and it's going to be all about you. That is next level. That is phenomenal. Didn't he come out with a new thing? Yeah, it's amazing. It's amazing.

There's something to do that, I think. What's insane. His newest album is so funny. It's so good. Like, I'm a, anyone that knows me knows I am a huge alchemist fan. Alchemist is my favorite producer. Anything he makes, I listen to it the day it comes out.

I stay up late. I fuck up my sleep schedule. Absorb Alchemist music. His last album of Freddie Gibbs, Alfredo, too, is somehow better than the first one. Great album. Chant his new album is much better than that album. Much, but it's a good fucking album. All right.

And I'm like, hot damn, it's that bitch's fault. I mean, that's kind of a... That is a wild coincidence. Granted, I think... It is. I think they're going through problems. I think he probably made the album initially before the problem started. But, you know, there was a thing for him going to, uh, going to, obviously, going

to the Caribbean. during carnival season. When you go to a Caribbean during carnival season, you're there for a particular reason. You're catching wines on girl them. You know, you're going out there. You find all those big,

bludy, dark skin, Hispanic or black women and you're letting them throw ass on you. That's why you're there. Yeah. And unfortunately, that got, something of him before it was a video

with his wife was shown. So everybody's like, oh, he's cheating on his wife. Little than we know, they were already done being split up. But obviously when you're a famous person, you're always in the street. So he was like,

I had to, I had to say act like I was a villain in a story because I didn't want to disrespect my wife the way that looked. And I'm like, dang, that's crazy. But yeah, this new album is. Was he the one that, uh, on Twitter, he liked, uh,

Transporn? Yeah, but it was like very unique. Do you remember what it was? I think I remember hearing something about that. I, I don't, I didn't see the like or,

didn't see the uh, hold on. It was, it was, it was, it was, they were like,

they were like, both fucking each other the same time somehow. And I can't, obviously I can't explain it. I remember, because I remember it was such a,

fucking overboros. It was so weird that I feel like this wasn't even like, I don't even know if this is sexual. You know what I mean? It was more just like this is a, this is a spectacle. This is crazy. So I can't even.

It's like watching Cirque de Soleil or something. Yeah. Actually, it's a great thing. It's a great analogy. Thurl-Lay is, I don't, I've been to circus like twice in my life, right?

Yeah. I went when it first came around like in 2003 or four. And that shit was weird. And I went when like in 2017 and it was this like regular circus shit. You know, I was in Cirque Toul-A. Who were you? The bitch? Hello, hello.

I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business. My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind it. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today with the goal. of being 70% more productive.

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That's the That's the attraction Ladies and gentlemen The bitch And it's just you like It's really disrespectful You're just standing there You're in a really small like

One by seven cage Whoa So effectively like a fucking rectangle You're just like Square you're in one square You can't really move It's like a sarcophagus And they're like look at him

Look at him do stuff Look at this bitch Look at them suffer It's like please let me out Push him a little bit The classic circus bitch You can come up to the cage and tase them if you want. You guys kind of got something there.

I like that. I like that idea. It might actually bring me to sort of do something like that. It's like the white N word. The white N word? Yeah, you know about the story, right? Let's not get, let's not rehash this. Patreon.com slash a start tank.

Shut up. Patreon.com slash a Stark tank. Remember, you can go over to Patreon.com slash a snark tank. Support us. There's a bunch of tiers. Early ad free access. Exclusive episodes, all that. We did a top 10 games, top 10 movies.

We can do some other stuff too. over there. And I think we were going to make one of those episodes publicly available, but then I think somebody dropped the N-word, the hard R, so I guess I'm going to have it no more. But go over to go over there. It had to be me right. I think it was Derek actually. It could have been me this time, yeah. I don't know, man. I just, the blurr blurs the Saturday, man. I'm just, I actually don't think that was as funny as I used to anymore. Oh, congratulations. It only took you 30 years. And he'll be back. 31. 31. 31, get it right. He'll be back. Yeah. I watched the, so I was at my house.

with Lily and one of my other friends and we were like let's just go through let's go through someone's camera or so we could laugh at stuff. It's a riveting story. And then it came through, I came to mind and I realized how much of a chronicler of racism I am. And I actually felt a little shame for the first time ever because it was like eight videos where it was just the N word. Yeah. Would you mean you just realize this about yourself?

I haven't, you know how you're standing too close to a problem and notice is a problem? You take a few steps back and you're like, whoa. Yeah. Whoa. I might be a bigot. Holy shit. You just realize this. It's crazy.

It's insane. It's actually it's crazy. Because the thing about it is like, I understand what you're saying. You're so close to the problem that you can't say. But the thing is, it's not a multifaceted problem. It is though. It is very clearly like, it would be like, you know how like there's details in like a big picture that like if you're so close. You can see all these years, but you miss the big picture. The big picture is just several of the smaller picture over and over again.

I think, I think you're not getting it. I think, like, what it is, what is? Oh, I didn't realize that this giant spelling of the N-word was made up of really tiny spellings of the N-word. But that's the thing, that's the thing, right? I'm standing so close. I'm, like, right in front of the eye to the point. It's okay, it's the whole wall. And then I take, like, six steps back, and I start seeing it's an eye.

And I'm like, interesting. I take, like, three more steps back. I'm like, hmm, like, see a G in a peripheral, maybe an N-A. Yeah, yeah. And then you step back, and then it's Hitler. And it's like, then it's like Hitler saying the N-word. And then I, I, a step. A stirring of a laugh comes up

And I'm like, wait, that's, that's bad. It's not fantastic. Yeah. It's fine. He's just done. You're the same. That's why you're like, no, well. Hey, we, we, sometimes you gotta just, it is what it is, man.

It is what it is. This is the look of someone who's giving up the fight. So listen. Who's putting down his sword and like, all right, guys. Go inside to sit. I'm going to grift. I'm going to grift. I have a new leaf on life.

A new leaf on life? Yeah. That's not. I know. I realize you guys were... I'm trying to turn over a new lease. I'm trying to turn over a new lease. A new lease online.

There's not a lot happening really. The only thing that I think is interesting. And it's something that Derek shared that I was like, oh, I didn't, I forgot about... I forgot this guy uploaded, really. With the elephant graveyard video about this... I forget what it's called. The video has a crazy name.

It's like an eye-catching, like... Something like the doomsday... The doomsday cult... How the... Like, how the... destroyed comedy? comedy or something like that. Yeah. It's the elephant graveyard. It's a really interesting channel. I like the I like it. I like his presentation the way he does it. It's very good. It's very good. A lot of the the the background music is like that

third eye aura shit that you yeah. People fall asleep to for like fucking eight hours or whatever like frequency. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That is makes you sleep way longer than you normally would and you're like why did I sleep for nine days. And yeah. So he's cool. I'm still tired. I'm still really tired. You would be I think. Yeah. I think you would. If you slept that, yeah, you'd be fucked. I think you'd be starving to fuck. I think you'd be sleeping at a point to deal with the fact you're so hungry that you would start looping your sleep. Yeah. Oh my God. It's a good video, man. It's a really good video. It's because even through all the cheekiness, um, it's, it's very true. It's very true because like overall, it just shows how Joe Rogan is 100% compromise because he's stupid. Yeah. Right. It even shows.

was like Duncan Trussell, one of his best friends, trying to warn Joe. And Joe's like, oh, I'd fucking, I'd know if somebody was trying to manipulate me. And now he's fucked. And now he's fucked too. He joined the terrain where he was trying to say that, who's that techno. Peter Thiel, Peter Thiel, that freak. That he's, oh, he's not, he's not the devil incarnate. He's not like, whatever.

He's nothing evil about him at all. Yeah. Like he, Duncan Trussel would totally be like, oh, fuck that guy. And then all of a sudden he's like, oh, no, he's fine. People are. No, I met him. And he's nice. That's what he said.

by the way, the best. Oh, I met Hitler. He was really kind. Right. It was like one of those AI racist pages on Twitter showing, Hillary's a good guy. Look at him smiling with this little girl. Giving a girl a balloon or something stupid like that. He led the Nazi

party. But seeing how many likes are on this shit is like, no, but I think a lot of it is bots too. I think it's also bots. That's also true. That's also inherently the problem too. It's like, you can't really get a grounded. You can't, you can't Calibrate yourself

To a world that isn't At least at the outset At least appearing to be real The problem is it's like jumping into a giant hole And you don't know where the whole ends, you know Yeah So you throw a fucking flashlight in there And you're like

You're like you don't hear the bottom You're like is it real? Is this real? Is this real? It sucks and it sucks how complicit Joe is It just it sucks how I feel like he got For a lack of a better terms he got buck broken too.

You know, like he, something happened. It was the post-COVID thing. I don't know what it was. I always, I'm reminded of Bill Hicks. He has a joke where he talks about like, uh, uh, becoming the president. And like you're one of those people that, oh, I'm going to clean up the system and stuff.

And then you win and then you get taken into a back room with a bunch of executives and smoke. And then a projector comes down and it shows a different angle of Kennedy getting assassinated. And so no words are said, but you know what the implication is. Like, you're going to do what we. say or this is going to be you essentially. And so it was a good joke. And I feel like this what happened to Joe in a sense. At some point when he sold his soul by signing to Spotify,

because he didn't need to. We had plenty of money before that. The hooks got into him. And they're like, all right, now you're going to do our bidding. And then he was like, no. And they're like, yes, you are. Yeah. I also just genuinely think he's just stupid. No, he's stupid. That's how he got there in the first place. He didn't even need to. Yeah. He had so much money before his on-it company that he ended up selling the big farmer for like quarter of a billion dollars. Oh, I didn't know that was him. Yeah, he was like he was the alpha brain. No, that shit.

That was his company. Oh, that's crazy. And so he had that and his podcast empire. He didn't need any more money. The Spotify thing, which is him being a retard. He got convinced into being greedy. Right, right. And like, but it was like, dude, you already have infinite money.

What are you talking about? You can't even benefit from greed at a certain point. At a certain point, he was already good. You're just detrimating others. They tricked him in. into by giving him stupid amounts of money, but then the payoff was great. Because now all,

now they got this administration that has this. Oh, well, the Epstein stuff's happening. We're going to bring on people to clean it up. And we're going to distract by bringing on this stupid fucking politician that's going to talk about fucking aliens and like interdimensional beings. I don't know if he saw that.

Yeah, I did. Like, and I'm like, that is insane. No, he knows how stupid much bullshit this is, how this person has no credibility.

And he's a fucking politician. And she's like, I've seen some. vague shit or something. But like that's his role now. And I feel like if he pushes back too much, I don't know if he'll be killed. But his empire will be affected

in some way. Yeah, yeah. I don't think they would... I think murder in general is kind of... I don't know. It's not necessary anymore. It might not be possible. It might not that possible, but it might not be like... Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.

I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gembetta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.

I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2020. 29 will build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.

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Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. It might be too obvious. You know what I mean? I actually, I was kind of, so I agree with that. I agree with that at first, but then I started thinking about how obvious killing Epstein was. Yeah, that's, I think that was the thing.

But it also, like, I feel like. But I feel like, oh, we can't just do this. But then they can, though, because the new cycle, it's, it worked. It is crazy that they're just not talking about it. It worked. Joe Rogan helped. Yeah, yeah. Charlie Kirk helped.

That was cool of him, by the way. Right. Bringing on the FBI people, bringing on a Dave Baker, that fucking CIA, former CIA guy. Yeah. Like Joe Rogan's handler. The most, the most. Brown is the cash, not ahead of the FBI, but there's this white guy named Mike Baker or something. That comes on, former CIA, CIA, just comes on to,

feel like just to make sure Joe stays in line? It's so funny. The most... He's so obvious. He's not a rifle on his dick. The most or the most interesting, or one of the more interesting parts of that video is just how it like it discredits a lot of them on their own

level. Uh-huh. You know, it doesn't even have to go to this heady space where it's just Tony Hinchcliff. Yeah. Where like he's just stealing all these jokes. Yeah. Meanwhile, and he's like friends with Joe Rogan, Joe Rogan props him up. Meanwhile, Joe Rogan got his start essentially from calling out. Carlos

He has four stealing jokes. His entire empire is like predicated on this one thing he did where he stood up against the idea of joke theft. But he's like, yeah, yeah, I'll elevate everybody. Yeah, I don't care that you stole from Norm McDonald. Right. That was crazy to me. I was like, how do you steal?

It's a bad idea. Stealing a joke from Norm McDonald as a, as a comedian trying to be a professional comedian, is insane. It's a really bad idea. He put it really well. on the video where it's like it's like stealing the riff to it smells like teen spirit and being like I didn't know I had no idea like it's the most fucking

iconic riffs of all time you couldn't figure out that it sounded similar I had an experience like that before I had an experience yeah exactly under pressure yeah that shit is crazy I had an experience like that in real time when I heard a band steal an iconic riff from a band called Black Dile and Murder

in the scene everyone was inspired by that in my age everybody knows this I went up to the band The band's huge now. They're called Carnifex. I went up to them. This was like in 2006. And I went to the guitarist

and I was just being tongue in cheek. I was being very facetious. I was like, hey, have you guys heard of the Black Dahlia murder? This guy straight up was like, nope. And I was like,

Superman Doomsday, fucking Dark Side goes, well played. Like that was the moment where I was like, that was the perfect answer. Yeah, did just say no.

And like, even though obviously you know who they are. Yeah. So like, it was one of those things where I'm like, okay some people are just it's insane how they operate in in in daylight but then I guess most people like you don't have a Joe Rogan anymore Joe Rogan was the guy not calling anybody out anymore

not call his friends Joe Rogan steals jokes he even stole a joke from fucking Brendan Shaw which is crazy can you imagine can you imagine like that that burn the boats special like by the way elephant graveyard made a video about his uh Joe Rogan's last special to burn the boats That's the one. That's the only one I've seen. That's the one I saw. It's got four million fucking views I just saw. Like when I watched this new one. Good. I was like, God damn. And it's a good video. You know it made the rounds in the comedy scene. All of them know. And they feel the same way. The comedy scenes. Only a few people, right? Like, um, was it Jettleneck that says a few things. More people, more and more people. Mark Maren's specifically going off on. A lot of them, a lot of them don't like him. I told you I ran into Mark Maren. Right. I think so

He's walking out of Jalen's building Oh right, right, right That's right, he did say that You did say that I don't know if he lives there He was there He was there He's probably working

He might have been Met him working Or seeing a worker You know what I mean Working Working That's crazy But it's like the fucking

What's name With the black dude The red is like When you leave my show You be thinking about shit I'm like You're saying Nicker

Like what are you That guy is universally I had to keep Thrashed It's crazy He's I love that we kept coming back to. It's like, no, but I had to keep thanking.

It's a good video. Everybody should watch it. It's really good, man. It's so brilliantly crafted. Dude, the part when he starts talking about the parallels of a society with the Lord of the Rings was when I was, I started laughing so much because it's so funny how well it works. It's sad that it works. Yeah. I just feel like it's also interesting that he chose Lord of the Rings.

It was like, this is a great way to appeal to. There's so many, this video can appeal to so many people, even like nerdy freaks. Yeah. That are like, yeah. It's a really well done video. It makes me jealous of people who don't. Shut the fuck up. It makes me.

Yeah, like people are like him. Shut the fuck up. Shut up. You fucking, you guys are both stupid and gay, likely. I mean, yeah. This is what's frungle over here? Trongled? What are you?

What is that? You're a dundle. What does that mean? I don't know, actually. It's probably a crazy slur, actually. Yeah, I hope so. But, uh, no, it was, uh, it was, uh, it makes, it makes, uh, it makes, it was, it may That video makes me jealous of people who don't have to be on camera.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Right. Yeah. Because I've kind of established like I'm on camera. I have to be on camera. Which means like if I'm going to make a video, I've got to, all right, I got a shower, I got to shave. I got to look right.

Yeah. I got to turn the lights on. I got to turn the lights on. I got to hold back on camera. You got to hold back shit. There's a frequency. There is a frequency on the camera that admits specifically from old DSLR is that makes you shit yourself forever as long as the cameras on it.

As long as it's on. You have some guy. You catch some dude and is like. When you let me out of you, it's like, nah, man, I'm going to turn on ADLSLRs and I'm going to watch you die. That's crazy. That's fucking overcame. Yeah, you're dead. You're done.

Turn them on and you leave him in a room. And he's like, hey, stop. Ah! Ah! He shits himself thin. Yeah. He sits himself gaunt, and like, well, to give me information. Should we, that is good torture thing?

Should we start questions early this time? I guess that's good. We can start some questions. Nothing really happened. There was, there was this. Well, let's be clear. Oh, my God. There is something that's happening.

Let's, let's be clear. when we say nothing's happening. There's a lot happening. It's just none of it is particularly new. The abyss is encroaching, but other than that, it's like, you know, like, it's like darkness is encroaching in and then you're like, oh, wow, say I got like 34 minutes before I lose

this file. Awesome. But there's this thing about the Smithsonian changing the way things are written. Have you seen that? Yeah, this is what I mean, though. It's like, yeah, of course. That shit is so fucking funny. Because I forgot the lady, the lady from fucking, her name is Jen something.

Jen Michaels or whatever name, but she's a part of the fucking... Jan Michael Vincent? No. Chad Michael Vincent. Isn't it? Isn't it Jan? No, Jan Michael Vincent is the person. It should be, it should be yawn, but you know, it's American.

American Jan. Yeah, I was watching that and I was like, she was like, I hate how one race of people's blamed for slavery in this country and it's like... Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed. his vision for the future of quantum computing.

At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.

I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.

To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signatures Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only.

Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. That is kind of crazy. Six-five-seven area code. That's a beast. That's a beast. I think it's Amazon. That's a monster.

You better answer that. If you're going to go to jail. It's Jeff Bezos. He's calling you. I'm a Jeff. Hello, Jeff Bezos. Oh, wait. Oh, it's still connected.

Let me see. I'm boomering out right now. What's happening? Too late. That was so worth it. What were we talking about? Whatever. It doesn't matter.

Let's move on to questions. Remember, you can ask us questions or send us submissions, send us stories over at Patreon.com slash the Star Tank. Remember, just go over there. StartTank. Shop for merch. What are you doing there? You cracking open a little zanny?

I got. Is that a hubbubba? No, they have. Gummy Zannies now? I don't know. That'd be crazy. I mean, that'd be bad.

It sounds possible. It does sound possible, but it'd be bad for, I guess, because kids would pop a way better. It would be very irresponsible. Kids already fucking vape themselves to death. But they'll do it to death? Vaping is a, well, maybe not to death, but vaping is really big problem. I know it's like getting stuck in their lungs, like all the plastic. This stuff.

I keep seeing these stories about, like, younger generations fucking less and like, uh, drinking less and smoking less. the drinking and smoking but not the sex part yeah i think like something like well there's something about that though like that i'm not really sure what i believe about that because i think something in like 2009 or like when we were in high school i think 25% of people like 18 to 21 were saying uh that we're sexually active or we're not sexually active and then now it's like 48% or something crazy that makes sense but i also well why does it make well because i just think people are more isolated now, they're more like socially awkward.

Okay. That might be true, but I also kind of feel like when we were in high school, there was a lot more importance on that. I feel like that was probably more important that like, oh, you got to get laid because you're a loser. And I can imagine that a lot of people in high school probably said, yeah, I got laid and didn't. Oh, they lied, yeah. Yeah, they lied. And now maybe people are just like more honest about the fact that they weren't. Probably true. I think that's

true. I think that's also probably true. I think it's a mix of both. I think people have undoubtedly teenagers have way less game than they used to. I wouldn't be surprised at that. But I also feel like people are just less inclined to lie about that stuff than they used to be. I knew people who definitely were lying. Yeah, for sure. It's like her boyfriend's in Canada.

She goes to a different school. You don't know her. I knew one kid that lied about that shit, then we met her. Wait, so he didn't lie. No, I thought he lied. You thought he lied. You thought he met and I was like, wait a minute, you're real? He's like You're just terrible at speaking. You sounded like you were completely lying.

He was doing that LA noir thing where he's like, my girlfriend goes to me over the school. Why should you do that? It's my nervous tick one. I feel like people think I'm lying. That's so unfortunate. Dude, I think I have that sometimes. I feel like if I went,

I feel like if I went to do a lie detector test and they asked me my name, I would answer truthfully, but I would be so stretched out about the machine thinking that I'm lying. For me, I can't trust my memories well enough. I can't trust my memories well enough sometimes. That is also true.

There have been times. There's one time where, like, Lily was like, you threw away my shirt. And I was like, I don't think I threw away your shirt. She was like, you threw in my shirt because you were full. Because she has a bra that similar texture to like one of her very thin like shorts, right? Okay. So I've missed, I've mixed place them when I was putting away her laundry a few times.

And because of that, she blamed me for misplacing on her shirts. And I was like, honey, I don't think I misplaced her shirt. And what happened is we went and we did the math. And I was like, Lily. I used the washing machine after your mom did, right? Or before your mom did, right? And I was like, if the shirt and the pants and everything else got back, but nothing else your shirt is missing,

I think your mom threw away your shirt by mistake. And she was like, no, it couldn't have been that. And I was like, Lillian, how? Look at the math of the situation. But she kept blaming me so much. I don't care. That I started believing against myself. And I was like, I don't think I did.

I really don't think I did this. She's like, you threw away my shirt. And I'm like, I don't, I don't know. I don't know. You start questioning myself. Here's the thing. Come find out. She did throw away the fucking shirt.

And I was like, I knew it. I knew it. Had you find out? Because I eventually cornered her and I kept asking her. I want to know something. You're just barking at her in a corner? Like the way I barks me. Ad bit, admit.

Why was it even thrown away? I think she was, I think I fucked up one of my shirts. And she saw it was fucking. She bleached it, but she mistakenly bleached it with Lily's shirt And I was like, you didn't take out the other She was like, I wasn't paying attention So the shirt was fucked up and needed to be thrown away Yeah, and then she was like, oh,

That's an important part of the story that was left out She's like Lily's not gonna, Lily's not gonna care about the shirt That much, just one random black shirt Yeah Turns out she cared way too much about this stupid ass fucking black shirt Because she just got it, I guess And I was like, oh, that's a dumb shirt Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, I was cornered, I was like, I can't,

I was like in my room was sitting on my desk like, did I, I don't remember remember did I throw it away I could have yeah my memory is terrible like I can't I can't trust it I don't I don't have passive memory anymore I don't really starting to scare me that I think that's just people in general and I and it makes me mad when people don't admit that to for themselves because I don't trust my memory all the time but then there's sometimes people that are like no I'm sure I'm sure and I'm like you be how could you be so fucking confident when it's your your mind is constantly trying to make up scenarios to feel better yeah like oh this is difficult to remember or this was a traumatic thing

so I'm going to make it more pleasant. It does that all the fucking time. But the thing to me is like it's frustrating because sometimes I'll be like I say, oh, when did this happen, right? And then I actually, I have to think about it so hard. Yeah. That like it seems like it looks like I'm lying. But I genuinely, but then so like, I think like, oh, I can't spend too much time thinking

about this because it looks like I'm lying. So let me just think about like what's the most likely time that that might have happened quicker so that it comes across. us less. So you lie because you don't want to get caught. But it's not because I'm trying to lie. I just don't know how to, I don't remember. My job is not, there's no structure here. It's completely alien to how I expected to grow up when I was a kid.

It's not like, oh, you know, payday is this or like, you know, week one, week two, week three, weekend, weekend. Everything's a blur. Because we're doing the same shit all the time with barely any real consequence. For me, my thing is that when I, I, I, When I lie about something, I laugh. That's why I can't play games like that you have to be secretive. Because I just start laughing. And when people start finding out, I get more nervous and I laugh more.

And I get really scared. And I'm just like, I can't do this. You play Secret Hitler. And I lost. I was so irritated. I lost immediately. Because I don't know. How do I shake them off at that moment?

You got the card and giggled. Because the thing is this, right? Everyone assumes I'm up to something all the time, which is fair. I am often up to things. But what happens is when everyone targeted me with no information, I started freaking out. Because it's like, we didn't even talk yet. Everybody was like, it's Kingston. I'm like, did I just turn into Hitler?

When I picked up the car, did I just morph into him? For one friend, he started saluting real fast. Anyway, what the hell we're talking about? I don't... There's some questions. Two questions. Cager.com slash snarktank. $5 a month gives a question read.

Let's go. Let's do it. This is in reference to something that we just did over on last stand, but I'll answer it because people were confused because I think the timing was a little bit off between the... We did a stream for gamescom? I was just about to ask, though. Did you guys watch? Huh? Did he finish?

Yeah. Well, we... Yeah. I mean, we... I mean, it's still happening in the sense of there's still like an exhibition. It's like E3. You can go out and play. But it's in Germany.

And so like obviously we're not there. But yeah, we watched like the conference thing or whatever and we streamed it. And it was really bland. Like it was kind of mesmerizingly bad. Bro. What was? They asked a Lego Batman game that looked pretty cool though because it's like every single movie and every, it's like all of it. Yeah.

That was kind of neat. Matt Barry. Matt Barry is Bain. Really? hilarious. But that was literally, that was the highlight of the show, which is a problem. What about Silk Song? Silk Song, you know what's funny?

You know what they said? It's like, we can confirm it's coming out this year. No date. Cool. I'm like, I sure you. They showed some gameplay of it, but it looked like Hollow Night. So like, I don't know. That game is, look, respectfully, I'm sure that game's very good.

It's not seven and a half, eight years of development time. Oh, no. With no answer is good. Nope. Absolutely not. Because that game is going to be disappointed to people. Yep. Like it's going to come out and people are going to be like, oh, it's Hollow Night.

Yep. Look, hello night, great game, Amazing Metrovania. Unless it was two people making it once a week. I don't understand how it took this long. I don't get it. I would love to know. I know someone that worked on that game. And I, from personally, I know that game's been done since like 2020.

It's been like finished. It hasn't been released. Yeah, which is dumb. It's been. finished for a long, long time. It's been done. Well, let me tell you something. That's very stupid.

Yeah. It's unfortunate. If that is true, if that is true, it just makes me want to know even more what's happening. What happened? Unfortunately, because it's going to get undercut now because even if it's good, people are going to critique it resentfully. Right.

You're going to be like, why did this take this long? It's not fucking like, GTA 6 where it's like, oh, man, look how in depth this game is. I understand why it took this fucking long. I don't know. And even that, quite frankly, is. It's still pretty. It's still kind of long. But dude, actually, no, well, it kind of, because how long, would, eight years?

Yeah. Hollow night? 17 or 18? Something like that. Brother, that means, like, in the, like, between Red Dead 2 and GTA6, that's the time in between Hollow Night and the second Hollow Night. Ridiculous. I understand that these are very different studio structures, obviously.

But it's just hysterical to me. I just, if they just had the transparency, I think people wouldn't be that. bothered. It's like what's happening? Like this simple. Why? Why? Why? Fucking forever and the company was like Hey, saying forever because we're trying to make it as good as possible. But that's at least early access. Also, you have the means to play the game at least somewhat. Yeah.

That's a different story in time. Anyway, just clear, this question is in reference to the stream. Real quick. I just, uh, the performance. Could you hear the guitar or was like, Oh, for the, uh, for, um, we were talking about that on stream where we were like the guitar doesn't seem like it's mixed into the, Dude, I thought like

Turn it up You know, at a certain point You would be like oh shit, my bad And then turn it up and it never happened It's not like he's strumming Like you can Blast that Yeah

Like it won't It's not like It's like they were afraid To like blow it up But it's like But that's also what It's not a Frank Turner song They also

They have the technology I'm sure the mixing board They have We have the technology It should be able to Even if he strummed it as hard as it can It's going to be capped Sure

Yeah I don't know what happened there That was perplexing me. I was thinking, the people that were there could they hear it at least. Right, yeah. I'm sure it was good.

I mean, she killed it. Yeah, she was great. But she also, I was like, body language, almost felt like in her monitors. I was like, she probably couldn't hear it either really. No,

it seemed, and I was like, oh, this is weird. Yeah. It kind of piss me off because she sounds fucking fantastic, though. Yeah,

I would have preferred to hear Minoko personally. Wow, wow, wow. Wow. Oh, like the actual fucking song. Oh, like the actual fucking song. Oh, yeah. I love that track. I think about Monaco singing that song.

That's crazy. The actual. That's my boy, bro. That's my favorite character in that game. That's so clearly game of the year for me still. It's actually crazy. It's a really good game. Bonanza is insane.

I haven't played it so I can't speak to it. That is the Akrona of Time, the, the, like, that That sounds a bit crazy. Play the game. Play the game, man. It's, it's... I don't have a switch too, right?

I'm not gonna play the game. The way that game lets you truly play a video game is insane. It's like one of those games where it's like, oh, this is like how you, that's a game to give to a kid to make them fall in a video game. Sure, I could believe that.

For sure. Let me ask you some... I just think Expedition is like one of those things where it's like, I would normally hate this and I somehow finish it and loved it. That, to me, says more. But like, I wouldn't... I wouldn't begrudge somebody for putting it there

because I just, I don't know I don't know what the game. The reason for me is a game that I like more, right? Does, does, uh, what it equates to? Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale.

Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. Mm-hmm. For example, if anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it.

We say you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway.

It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in-store tags to earn on Elbowl. eligible items from Celsius, body armor, ORAIDA, silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app

for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Does that game,

does the monkey game, does that elicit any, like, emotions other than just like joy I think it's gonna be a joyful game no matter what you know that's the kind of feeling you're gonna there's a scene where

there's a way you know that's like you're not you're not gonna do that okay you're not you're not gonna get you're not gonna get you're not gonna get perfect place to do it no okay fine you're not gonna get like the fucking feeling of like fucking

we said like Aquarita time I was thinking of like I think that game elicits like multiple emotions other than this is just fun? Like exploration. Like, like, this game is fun.

I'm exploring things. I'm seeing like a world between two phases. Like, I think that game was like a really impressive game such for the time it came out. But I think when it comes to like a kind of game where somebody inhabits a world

and they get to explore and have as much fun as possible going through it, I think that is the kind of game where it is. I think Clare is like a more impressive game. Well, maybe, maybe more impressive game. I think so.

It's a small team making something. Yes. It's kind of nuts. Yes. In a reasonable amount of time. I'm referring to the idea of impressive. Right. What you look at the game, you're like, oh, how impressive it is playing the game.

Sure, sure. But I think Donkey Kong Bonanza, I don't, that's not much. I'll put, I'll put Claire up there personally for me. I think that game is great. I think there's only like one problem with that game. And it's the way the ending Peters out is not the best for me. But I do still think it's a great game. It's a great game no matter what.

Yeah, I don't know. I have no experience with Benanza, but. But you should play. It's a great fucking. It's like wild. I'll play it when I eventually. find a used switch to in an alleyway.

I'm gonna crowd fund in an alleyway. I'm gonna crowd fund to get a switch to I can't I can't justify that purchase right now. It's too expensive for one game. It's not worth it.

It's not worth it. Honestly, even four games to me. It's just like, I don't know, man. Right. It's not worth it. Anyway.

This question is it pertains to the stream that we did. Get Richard kind on the snark tank. Yeah, I'm sure he'll. I'm sure Richard Kine will answer our emails Sure Yeah

And he says Two quick questions for Chris First of all your reaction to the Monster Hunter Wilds ex-Final fantasy online Games competition was so fucking funny But I was a little confused Why you were laughing Was it the translation basically making it three times longer

Than it normally would have been All right So I'll answer the first question first The way that it was on stream So we all basically like were synced To the same stream But obviously some people are a little bit Some people, like Dustin was like, I think, slightly ahead of mine.

Brad was like a little bit ahead of mine. So like my reactions aren't timed necessarily with what specifically I was reacting to. But dude, they announced on stage this like crossover between Final Fantasy and Monster Hunter. And they were just like, you can ride a chocobo in fucking Monster Hunter or whatever. And then they brought the people on stage to talk about this. And it was like a good like five minute sequence of just people talking about the fact that there's a chokobo in this thing now. And it was one Japanese guy, he was speaking Japanese, and then it would bump over to the next guy, and he would translate what he said. And so it was just, it was taking so long to just say so little.

What got, what broke me was that it says on screen, oh, it's a collaboration. And then the first time they're talking, it's like, oh, yeah, this is a crossover. And we're doing it. We're making it happen. And the second time, they said, yeah, it's a crossover. We're making it happen. And then the third time, they say, just so you know, it's a crossover. And when they reestablished that it was a crossover for like the third time,

I busted out laughing because I was like, brother, like we don't. What is the point? Was it a joke that didn't land? No, it was just, I think it was just awkward and weird. But like I started from the perspective of the stream, I started laughing before that was said. So like people were confused as to why I was laughing. I lost it. I was like, how do people, how do we not have this message get across, gotten across already?

Yes. It's a crossover. I skipped, because I started watching it late, so I started from the beginning. Yeah. I love doing that because then I can just like start skipping forward or whatever. I'm like, oh, brother,

especially the anime parts. There's like a bunch of like this cheeby bullshit there. Well, that was also why I was like, I was already in a giggly mood because that entire section. Yeah. Was just something that I had to sit through. And the audience understands how much I just don't care about that stuff.

So the audience, the chat was like, Chris is dying right now. And so I was like looking over and I was like, I was laughing because I was like, yeah, this is miserable. and then they spent five minutes talking about a chocobo and are insisting that you cannot misunderstand. It's a crossover just so you know.

Oh, man. It broke me. It broke me. I haven't bust out laughing on a stream in a while and that got me. I was also just giggly, I think. But I can't do it, man. I can't do the whole chibi bullshit. I used to love anime and I always hated that shit.

Oh, the chippy stuff, yeah. I've always hated. Even when I liked anime, I wasn't really, that stuff really kind of put me on. I would say I kind of like anime now not not I can't really watch the way I used to but like I still have appreciated I appreciate the ones I appreciate you know yeah sure like even now I'm just like this is so stupid yeah I just I mean I watch the ones that are it's just it happens to be you know made in Japan or whatever but it's like it's like it's like anything else it's like like a I my favorite series is Gundam Wing and it's like less than 30 episodes Gundam Wing is and it's great it's it's fun fucking fantastic. The story's great. It's military sci-fi shit. It's my favorite stuff.

Gundam Wing doesn't... I know what you mean. What do you mean? Like Gundam, I... Gundam Wing... He thinks you suck. Yeah, probably. It's like from the generation where like...

The anime machine wasn't the machine, you know? It wasn't like built off like... The whole show is about machines. It wasn't built off like main character power fantasy shit. That's back when like every anime had like an underline. meaning of like politics, religion. It was around the same time though because like they did that like say, say, before Dragon Ball and One Piece Chichiyo, for example.

Think about Tinchi. Tinchi Moyo was like was one of the early, oh, I'm this high school kid that's a loser and I'm surrounded by all these beautiful women and all they all want to fuck me. Dude, the game will show. Tinchie, I love Tainchi Moyo. I love it because it was a great balance. It was retarded. Oh, yeah, all these girls want to fuck you.

Okay, bro. But like, it's, it was fun. But then it got worse. Like there was a there was one called my friend showed me. It was called Girls Bravo. And it's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard. Like, oh, this guy gets sucked into this world where there's like only 10% guys. And he's a guy and all these girls are like want to fuck the shit out of him because they're so.

And I'm like, that is so stupid. It's like 10 times worse than Tiji Bulu. That's a complete, it's a complete power fantasy. Yeah. It's a complete like, wouldn't this be great? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It becomes, it becomes the machine, right? because I think there was a point where before it became the anime machine where I think

Naruto, before Naruto existed, when you had like the U-Haka shows, the Cowboy Bebops, the Triguns, Gundam Seed, I think, all like that period of time. Yeah. And like Evangelion, that's pre, and then the machine is after Naruto, One Piece and Bleach and all them. Dragon Balls before those, but Dragon Ball was the progener of that kind of series. So what would you say? would you say it was one piece or would you say it was

Naruto? What would you say What was the catalyst? What was the catalyst? What's the catalyst? It's like, this is what we're hitting. These are the beasts that are hitting now. I would say this is probably Naruto. Yeah. Naruto bleaching one piece all came out on the same time. But Naruto at that time became the like,

the big one. Granted, all of the, even those ones in particular have bigger meanings. Each one of those, like one piece has a bigger meaning about like political, like freedom. and like explorations like that. Narita has the freedom like being of like underlying, destroying hatred.

Yeah, I just, but it's, but the machine became those kinds of stories where it's like main character. It took the hero's journey and became like the way they told stories in Japan for the most word. Not all of them, but the frequent type of it. Okay.

I try, I really, I want to like those shows. You know what I mean? For sure? I was younger. Like say Naruto Anything that's like kind of relevant in that

Yeah I got into Naruto for a little bit Yeah I love Naruto but I also understand it has like A lot of problems. It's like a lot of problems I like it when it comes to pacing It has a lot of pacing problems I liked it when it was about ninjas I mean it was like when it was about ninjas I thought it was cool And then it became crazy

Not that it wasn't like not that it wasn't built to be crazy There's obviously like you know he's a demon from the beginning. Yeah. But, like, you don't see it, really.

And then the second they jumped into that like full steam, I remember taking a break from Naruto for a while. They were doing, like, this, uh,

exam at the school and they had to, like, fight. It was like a tournament type thing. And I was like, oh, this is like the Budakai's. I love this. Um, and then I took a break from it for a while,

not consciously. I just kind of forgot to keep up with it. And then a friend of mine was like, you know, did you see the Naruto Sasukee fight? And I was like, no, what?

Oh, I didn't know they fought. all right, cool. That's, that's been building up for a while. And then he shows me, I go over to his house and he shows me this fucking clip of them fighting and it's like, it's like, Saske's a bat person or something and he's like purple and he's got wings

and the Naruto's a fucking alien or something. I'm just like, this is this is not ninjas no more. What's great is that fight? The beginning of that fight is amazing. It is a ninja fight, but it turns into that. That's what it is. It would be like watching Seinfeld and then and then the laugh factory

happens. It's same to a Dragon Ball. It's the same thing. Dragon Ball. It's exactly a thing. Dragon Ball. It goes through that same kind of like... Sure, actually. Yeah, but that was the first time. That was... Dragon Ball gets a lot of passes for me because it's like the progenitor of a lot of that stuff. They weren't like following tropes. They were doing something. And that was like, it was a uniquely

Dragon Ball kind of thing. And now it's like everything's doing that or everything was doing that for a while. And then it just kind of felt like, well, now it's... Now you're just doing Dragon. Like I could just I could just watch Dragon Ball I wanted to show about ninjas It's it's it's a similar show I don't know whatever I gotta give that fight at Miller's shot because that was actually the first When I asked about this this was many years ago like oh this is the best fight watch this fight and It wasn't for me. I was just like oh if this is not the fight you show somebody for friends the first I first I saw

Garra versus logg Garr versus Lee was the one that I saw skis versus Lee those are the two fights you show somebody at first where like you get to see like real like defense style is like really aggressive offensive styles but I don't know I just love I dug the sand stuff Yeah I think God was such a cool fucking We didn't get it we didn't understand how cool sand People? No well hold up hold on You need to take a breath first and foremost right

Someone can control sand Oh they don't they don't look like an Al Jazeera person There's a guy There's a guy There's a character he's got like a gourd full of sand on his back And it's like sand is like possessed or some shit And it like protects him So he doesn't have to

A green stripe shirt on What happened? Like a green shirt with stripes. Let's just move on. Could you imagine? Imagine it's he gave these sandmans in there. Literal Flint, Marco got captured and put it at his gourd. Instantly piqued my attention.

Did you answer the second part of the question? Whatever. It doesn't matter. I mean, it kind of doesn't matter. He's asking, so the second part of it was like, also I know you know Naky Jakey and have played Halo together and stuff. Would you ever invite him onto the show or even do some sort of collaborative thing with him? He, well, first of all, he was on the show.

He was on one of the first, he was like one of the first guests that we had. He's in New York, I believe, now. Yeah, Jake's over back here. So, I mean, if he's in town. If he's ever in town. In Mahalo. I can't remember the last time he was here, though. It's been a while since I've seen him.

It's so shit that he moved there than the world shut down. Yeah. He moved there. As soon as he got out there, COVID hit. Oh, because he probably wanted. And it's like, wow, that's awesome. Yeah, it sucks, yeah. That is a bummer because, like, yeah, that is the, I mean, to be fair.

Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together? It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?

Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah.

My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season.

These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. New York City is still pretty awake late at night. There's still places you can go, but it is significantly less than it used to be.

It's definitely less. You can still get great food at like, you know, 5 a.m. But it's not this, it's not, I would say it's at like 70% capacity. It's crazy because even for me, right? Like, I was never a huge Manhattan person. I was always like a more Brooklyn, a Bronx kind of guy. But I went to Manhattan. I was like, this is not how Manhattan was.

That's like saying, by the way, I'm not a park guy. I'm more of a sewers guy. No. Brooklyn, Brooklyn is awesome. Brooklyn is awesome, especially by the bridge. I'm just fucking with it. The Bronx is... The Bronx is...

The Bronx is a lot of culture, but it's also crazy. A ton of culture. Fucking insane people, though. There's a lot of culture. It's a lot of culture. For sure. A lot of insane culture. That's what I would call it.

Sewage culture. Yeah, there's a... Because I don't know, man. The Puerto Rican food and the Bronx, man, is special. The Puerto Rican food is the Bronx. The Italian food. The Italian food. The, uh, what you call it?

The, uh, going to the zoo, Clement Park. like that is always like you like going to the zoo and watching all those enslaved animals they're not enslaved you dummy they're all crying that's the point of modern zoo jackass the brung zoo is uh not a it's a what you call it's um you all have their fucking new york fittings on and shit that's crazy that crazy a polar bear with a fucking yakey cap on and a puffer jacket too yeah the puffer jacket his motherfucker jacket is like no no you're solid solid solid stance

That's good. He's speaking. It was good, son. I love that. That is the only scenario in which I would ever go to the Bronx Zoo again is if they had a mandate where every animal, no matter what, had to wear Tim's a Yankee hat. Puffer jacket, but like generally I would prefer the puffer jacket. The Yankees and Tims are not negotiable. It's a non-negotiable idea of seeing a flamingo walking around with a pond.

With one sitting, balancing on one tim. That's sick as fuck, actually. I don't know where I was. I don't know where I was. I need a talented artist to please draw just like a lineup of animals that you would see in a zoo in pufferjack,

well, Yankee caps, Tim's, and optional puffer jackets. And the ones that make sense. When makes sense. Yeah, when it makes sense.

So obviously any sort of big, yeah, any sort of big predator. A gorilla. Oh, A tiny bear too A tiny bear A little bumper jacket

That'd be insane Don't put a puffer jacket on a camel Yeah come on That just can't work That would never happen Listen to me when I say this That would be dumb That would be so stupid

But I love the Bronx man I love that place I have a fondness from the Bronx Obviously I grew up I grew up there But like I'm glad I don't have to go back It is

I'm in the Bronx uncle. It is definitely, I need to rumble in the Bronx, Ronco. Runko's crazy. Runkle's crazy. That is so racist. That is disrespectful. It becomes just not even. That's crazy. That's a call of duty N-word where it's like, it's just like it just nullifies itself almost. It's like, oh, you fucking roncle. It's like you just. It almost sounds like a slur. Oh, that's great. Yeah, it is. Yeah. My, um, Lily's, Lily's brother, Lily's sister almost damn there. They call me the

fun-uncle because I'm the fun uncle for the kids. That sucks. And I'm like, I don't like this. The fun uncle? Yeah, I'm the fun uncle. You're the fuck uncle? I'm the fun uncle. Yeah, okay. I don't like this. That's what they mean for sure. Yeah. Because the kids are like, I like hanging on Kingston. He has like cards and toys and shit. I'm like, yeah, but that's mine. Don't break them. And they're like, how old are they? Um, my nephew is six. My nephew is six. I don't know why I ask. The other one is about to be one. If you're gay and you're an uncle, can you be gunkle?

Would that be good? Goncle. Yeah, what about gunkle? Because, yeah, I think gay uncle's better than gunkle. Yeah, so just saying it.

Gay uncle, yeah. I'm gay, I'm gay, though. I'm not gay, though. Yeah, whatever gay uncle. That's crazy.

No disrespect, but you're gay. Oh my God. Forever. They just call you forever. I'm going to kill you. Keep calling me that. All right, let's see.

Oh, that's that Pokemon World. I did that this weekend. Oh, yeah, you go. The Pokemon Worlds. It was awesome. There's a movie? The Pokemon World. The World Championship for the Pokemon

card game and video game. I was there. It was fucking cool shit. Oh, you went there. Where was that at? It was Anaheim. Not at the convention center. It was at the convention center?

Oh. It's pretty cool. Should have stopped by, pussy? Dude, after that convention, I was fucking tapped. I also went there with my nephew again. I forgot how much kids loved that shit. Pokemon? Yeah.

It's primarily for them. No, it's engineered. It's engineered. It's engineered. It's engineered for them, but I was, you remember, I remember when I was a little kid and I loved it like that. Yeah. So that's why. It's been a long time since then.

So me going by seeing him go through and being like just enamored by everything was crazy. He was like, oh my God, I want to take a picture with the Snorlax. And I was like, he was like, he took a picture with me. Yeah, man. And he was so happy. He's a little nervous guy. You think he'd be acclimated to a Snorlax. Right.

I said that. I was like, you don't, you don't, that's just me. He's like, I noticed why I like it so much And I'm like, oh, well, that's kind of touching, also insulting But like Dude, I remember I remember going to the Nintendo store I think it was the Pokemon store at that time

It was the Pokemon store It was a Pokemon Center at the time The Pokemon Center at the time And I remember, I remember like I lost my mind loving it Oh, the Nintendo store in Manhattan? Yeah, yeah I stole a high from there on accident

And like literally on accident Oh really? I was holding a Luigi hat And someone's spot of me wanted to take a picture is fucking tall, fucking broad. And I was like, oh yeah, cool, whatever. And then like, I'm like, I'm done.

And I walked up the hat. I didn't realize it until I was like, blocked down. I was like, oh, shit. I've done that a couple times where I've walked out with something that I forgot that I had. And I'm just, oh, fuck. Well, now I can't go back because I'll shoot me. I was too far.

I'm like, yeah, whatever. You put it on. You were like, wahoo. And you fucking put it on. And you started parkoring through New York City. I fucking wish, dude. But I don't know. I had so much fun.

He saw all the, like, the things, went to the little kiosk. He got his little deck of cards for playing. I bought him a plushy. And he was so, I was like, oh, man. I remember loving it like this when I was little. Look, I still have a soft spot for the first, like, generation. You know, I mean, I fell off after that. Like, I have a, I have a fucking, uh, a coughing tattoo.

And I forgot about this today, uh, arriving is a perfect replica of, uh, holographic Charzard. Oh, like, you know, like, it looks, it looks. It looks authentic, but it's not, you know? So, I carved, I carved the, what is it? The cover art of Pokemon Red right on my taint. Just the other day. That's pretty, you're pretty, that's pretty hardcore.

You're pretty dedicated. That's fucking. Who did you show? Do you show anyone? Can I see? Can I see? Can I see? Can you?

Can I see? You didn't even let them talk. You show anybody? Plant your ass on the table. Lift your balls. Spread your leg, lift your balls. What if it was there, what it was there. And it was really well done.

I, how would I feel, actually? I'd be like, that's impressive. I would be like, that's impressive. I guess the question, why? That's really the question. What really bothered me was, like,

him showing me and it being there. Because I'd be like, I didn't want it to, I wanted the chase of you not showing me. Sure. The fact that you're showing me now makes me angry. Yeah. I fucking hate you.

You're gay. You're gay. That's crazy. Fucking gay. No, I love the, the first generation of Pokemon, I have a fondness. I'm very attached to the first three.

The second, the second, the literal the moment that they added, it's so funny the way that I thought about it because I was just like, oh, 150, that seems manageable. And then like, no, there's more now. And I'm just like, well, now it's over. Like, from that point, it wasn't, it wasn't many added to the second generation. No, but, no, but the idea that that number was amenable to me was a turnoff. Because I saw that as like an accomplishable thing. And then the second it gets more than that, well, now they'll never.

They're never going to stop adding. Yeah. So I'm, I'm no longer interested in this. Well, you know there was 151 at first. Yes, there was 151. I always hated that. Yeah, and that bothered me too.

Like you could have at least one. I was like, you guys did that to be fucking cute. It was cute. Yeah, it was never, but it was 150 because the last one. Mutu two, right? Me too is the last one.

But that, that I felt was fine because it was. Mew's before, right? Mew's, well. No, no, no, no, no, I thought, no, no, no. I thought that was anything they did on purpose, where it was like, Oh, like they're trying to be cute that they were doing Mew 2.

I forgot. I know, I knew it. So crazy. I used to know Pokemon like fucking encyclopedically. It's like 493. Let's verify that. Gen 4.

I knew it like fucking encyclopedic. It's occupying too much of your brain. It was, but it was so passive. This when you're a little, it's like I know this and not how to do my taxes. There's a lot of shit that I used to know incyclopedically that it's just gone now. I know.

Like it's completely evaporated from it. Yeah, like passive information. I don't have that. anymore. That was just there. Pokemon was one of those things. Digimon was one of those things. I used to know all the fucking Digimon. Mutu. Just just verify. Just no, that makes sense. It is just verifying because you never know.

Because you couldn't naturally catch a Mu. I remember that. You couldn't naturally catch Mew. But you could catch Muteu. And I was like, what the fuck? You had to go on that cave. Mutu. After he beat the fuck out everybody else in the cave and left himself in the middle. The thing with Muteu is that Muteu was so cool that I was like, that's fine. It's fine that you added one. Okay. I'm all right with it.

Yeah. But like the second was like, here's a new job. generation. I'm like, no, I just, I don't know. Gen 2. That was my generation. Yeah. And then Gen 3 was just the coolest. I don't know why I fell off. I just did. I just I think actually, I do know what it was.

It was because they made it, we could, Pokemon got banned from my, my middle school. Because that's so crazy. Fucking trifling ass dickas, man. Of course. What do you mean? Everybody was getting robbed. Of course. That is so crazy. It's not crazy. It happened in my

school too. They did just, that's it. If you go to school in a hood area, niggas are going to take your shit, man. Unfortunately. It's crazy. Unless you know how to fight. I was not in the hood. They just,

they just there are, well, there's always some fucking DJ kids from the hood that go there. From the hood come to me. Yes. Hold on. People are always taking things.

Yeah. People are always stealing like, I went to Catholic school when people were stealing shit. Of course. But it wasn't like a mugging. This was like, it was usually it was just like a,

this was like to put it down to and grab it. A dangerous place. Breaking lockers open with hammers. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. People were bringing hammers to school to break the fucking luck. This literally got a fucking muley.

A fucking nine-year-old. And you see her a crackle every time he hits me. You see, though, I prefer that. I prefer that because in Catholic school, when I was, because that's when, yeah, that sounds about right. This one Pokemon was like, because I went to Catholic school until like,

I think, fifth grade or sixth grade or something like that. So that sounds about right. But in Catholic school, people don't really do that. It's not brazen. It's usually like... Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.

At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing. Whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.

I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point. when it will mature, right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.

That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight,

Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. It encourages stealth gameplay. So normally you'd get your shit swipe. and there wouldn't be like an obvious it wouldn't be like oh obviously

he got his shit stolen you just had to kind of take your word for it and then no one And then it turned it to like I brought mine These are mine not yours Right and then there's a whole network where it's like I'm gonna take it But then I'm gonna hand it off to a friend of mine And then it'll go off into a day

And then like the kid who stole it got searched And he's like he didn't have it It was crazy So it was like a really smart group of people That should happen just masterminds Which is worse You don't want to It was crazy

I remember getting, I think I had, there was a game, oh, it was my Spider-Man, Spider-Man One for the Game Boy, advanced, ridiculous game. But I got that stolen, and I saw the kid who stole it. And I told every, I told like the fucking teacher that they were like, all right, did you steal it? And he was like, no. Oh, right, well. And it's crazy. It's too, because I know for sure he was just like, I'm just going to take this.

Yeah. Confess my sins. And then it'll be fine. that fucking bullshit loophole That's what makes it even worse I'll confess it to the fucking priest or whatever the fuck Whatever the fuck sits in there

She told me she was gonna kill me And then she was just gonna fucking You know not confess Because she wasn't Catholic But just be like I'll pray about it Yeah I'll pray about it And God will forgive me

And I'm like I was like So there's no reason to not If you feel like killing There's no reason not to kill You gotta really mean it though Derek You gotta really mean it But I'm like if you're telling If you're telling me beforehand

And then you can't mean it either. This is villainous. You can't mean it either. You want to kill me. Now you'd be like, oh, loophole. I'll never forget that. I'll never. Fuck you, Tyler.

He's a shit. Find him and let's fucking, let's dog him out. He's dead actually. Especially when I was late. Well, there you go. Karma. When I was, when I was little, I was a little soft boy. Because you stole like game boy advanced games.

Like second grade or something. It happened. And then he got flayed by, uh, yeah. God gave me out of skin. And it all ripped off. his body That's crazy I think he was sitting

at a blimpies and then a live wire slashed through the window and electric unit whipped him and whipped him in electric unit it whipped him

three times and then broke through the window touched him electrocuted him while he was holding a blimpies sub that's crazy

the sub got perfectly toasted though yeah someone caught the son I'm like oh he just fucking

ignored the charred body that is crazy wow it smells awful and grated here catching a blimpy out of the head that was like

let it get a fucking asshole eyes wide seeing it fall and catches it real quick thank God fuck yeah the crud the crudged oh thank goodness

Italian something so good this was almost a tragedy is Blimpie still around probably like three maybe was that even a was that a New York place or was that like a

There are Blimpies out here. Were there a global thing? Do you remember Blimpies at all? Do you even know what I'm talking about? I know the name I've never like seen. I've never seen one. Oh, okay. It might have been like an East Coast primarily thing maybe.

Yeah. Oh, just the charge. Or like, oh, the fucking Tyler was like about to buy it. So he's charred like this. Yeah. Falls out of his fucking head because he's all ads. He's a pomp. I love the idea.

I love the idea. Totally. See that how you get a fucking. Weird. Seeing a person fall as ash. Yeah, being like the Pompeii ash people. Like, like that's crazy.

It's like Ash baby. You know Ash baby? No, what's that? Look up Ash baby right now. Oh, no. Look up Ash baby right now.

Oh, no. It's not bad. It's dumb. It's dumb as fuck. Is it really one of them? No, it's not. It's just a dumb meme.

Okay. But like it's, because I think it's one of them actually. Ew. I thought, I always thought it was one of the Pompey people, but it was a baby one. No,

it's ridiculous. That would be. Like the baby nose? Like the baby looks like it's It's mouth that's so agape It's so fucking lot Like Imagine fucking your mouth being that lie

Yeah, his mouth is open And his tongue is still perfectly pink It's not a fucking real image It's so ridiculous He looks like It's a real deep cut But it looks like that Thippa Puppa Puppu

Thing from a fucking Scary Stories It's all in the dark Whatever 10 people will understand that But I hate that fucking image There's the other one that seems a little bit more realistic at least. Yeah, that's like a Gen 2 AI.

Yeah. Everything's fucking AI now. Imagine losing, imagine dying as a baby. You suck. Is that it? What is there to imagine? Yeah, you're a baby and you die. What do you mean?

What is that? Fuck you. Just do that. Everybody spit. Everybody spit on. Everybody right now spit on Kingston. All right, let's move on. We got to one question.

It's a good thing. We started early. Yeah. That's good. Korean veterinarian enjoying his job a little too much, wrote it. Oh, no. He says, hello, doing one fifth. What's a phrase or word you only started using because someone you know slash watch says it?

I unironically started using the term invalid as an insult after watching that one Twitter trash episode you did a while back. I was using that word a lot back then. I can't remember where I first heard it. But I know I got that from something That I don't have an answer to Fucking invalid But thanks for the laughs

While I slowly lose my sanity In nursing school Oh look at that Fellow nurse I mean I'm not a nurse I'm not a nurse You're more of a nurse than most people I mean technically

You still call yourself a nurse And you know there's YouTubers That just give their some titles Why would I lie for no reason I don't know why Because you can Appeal to authority Even start nursing school

It doesn't matter Why I think it's fine to say you're in our sounds like people clearly don't care I mean clearly people don't care I do though yeah that's stupid it's a higher standard by the way I'm a physicist yeah yeah that's awesome I'm gonna fucking I'm the 15th black astronaut oh or something I don't know how I don't know how many it's been but it's probably around that that probably way less I don't know I really they don't want to go to space to understand there's more out there now back until we're gonna find out that the niggas are

from space they don't want us to find out. That'd be really sad. How many? That'd be really sad. I'm like, oh, man. How many,

how many astronauts? How many astronauts even are there? I feel like there are like resoundingly few astronauts. It's probably very, very little comparatively to like a lot of fields. I feel like I wouldn't be surprised to find out there's never been more than 100. I would think there's been at least 100 astronauts, trained astronauts. But that went to space is probably different.

Well, obviously. People that have trained to be. There have been 18 black astronauts. Saul's not that far off. I'm the 19th black astronaut is what I meant to say. Okay, so 18 black astronauts. Let's see how many astronauts are in history. Like, I'm sure there's more than 100, but I wouldn't be surprised to hear that.

I wouldn't be surprised at hearing like, it's actually only like 360. That's what I'm saying. That's a shockingly low number. That's not what I mean. 299 men and 61 women. Of course. Of course. Should have been like zero women.

Yeah, what the hell was the woman doing in space? If I was a woman, if I was a... Women need to give me space, not go into it. If I was a woman, there's no way I'm going to space. There's no way I'm going to space. You wouldn't go to space? I'm not with a bunch of niggies. Hell no.

Wait, wait, what do you say? I don't trust men enough, man. Hell, fuck you know. You would only go to space with women? Right now. They wouldn't want to go to space with you. I would. They would, and I'd be fine with that.

I'd be like, oh, I'll just go only guys. They'd be like, oh, look at this giant human. He's going to do horrible things to what's in space. Yeah, absolutely. I'd be like, no, I'm fine. You can't hear yourself scream in space, huh? He's floating. Dennis on the boat.

Yeah, but I would. I would not. Have you seen the new season of Always Sunny yet? No, I started watching. I was trying to watch them the older ones to catch up. Dude, I have to say, this new one's real good. Good?

Yeah, this new one's probably the best one they've had in a while. The first episode's a crossover with Abbott Elementary. That's not a very good episode. What the hell is that? It's just some other show. I don't know. It's not very good. The format's all fucked.

but the second episode killed me, dude. How you seen it? Crossover with another show. Abel Elementary is a good show, but it's not the same kind of show. It's a very different type of show. How often does that happen anymore? Right, exactly. The novelty of it is interesting,

but it's only interesting if you know what Abbott Elementary is. And even that to me, I was just kind of like, I'd rather just see Always Sunny. You know what I mean? Like, I don't necessarily need this. Yeah. But, dude, the second and third episode in particular really, I, there's good shit in it.

Compared to some of the more recent seasons are a little bit weaker. But like this one's... They got it. They understand. Sweet. That show's been down for 17 seasons. Makes sense. Isn't that crazy?

It's for a sitcom? Yeah. Makes sense. And one that still has good episodes. Yeah. It's really... Is the Vito's not anymore? Who?

Is the Vito selling it? What he's talking about? Of course. Yeah, but he's getting... I mean, he's getting up there. It's going to be sad when he goes. He's old, but he doesn't... I don't know, based on the episodes that I saw, it didn't seem like...

He doesn't move like he's old. He doesn't move like he's old. He's a motherfuckerer's moving like Dick Van Dyke. Dick, that doesn't make sense. That didn't make any sense. He confuses me. He's a drowger or something. Like, there's something wrong.

There's some sort of magic keeping him here. What was it again? Penis van vagina? What? I forgot was his real name? It was... It was... Putsy chug, man.

So stupid. Such a stupid name. Anyway, the question... What it's not that funny Can't believe his parents It's fucking hilarious What do you mean? And then he's like

My stage name is Dick Van Duk Like This going against the grave Why not just Dave Smith Wouldn't that be better? No I gotta remember my roots I got to remember my roots

My lesbian roots Any phrase that you started saying Because you Because you saw it or heard it. Well, for me, it's the N-word, obviously. If we go next, it's definitely the F-word. And after the F-word, it's probably the N-word again.

But if I'm being honest... Variation of it. So it's just slurs, basically. Negroid. Nice. Negroid. It's a good phrase. Or cocazoid.

I started saying, in some sense, more... Because I kept hearing Colin say it. In some sense? Yeah. Okay. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smog. Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambata.

We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM Research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines.

Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with quantum?

By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times a point. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, Oiraida, Silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin.

Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Like, that's kind of gay in some sense. In some sense. Okay. Yeah, that works.

Yeah. The way that I say goodbye to somebody, my friends' older brothers, they would always say later on, like, later on. And like, it stuck with me. Yeah. That's just what I say now.

That's like fucking, I was like 15 or something. I would, so that's all I can think of. I know I say, cool, cool, which I think is technically from community,

I think, because that was Troy and Abbott, right? Cool, cool, cool, cool. Yeah. Oh, yeah, cool, cool, cool. Three is too many for me. That is too many.

But I'm sure there's like a million of these, right? That I don't pick up on or that I just don't think about. Yeah. But that's completely normal. Yeah, my friends, we were, my friend's new girlfriend, we all like hung out one day. This was a few months ago. And she's the same age as us or somewhere in the 30s, something like that. But she was doing that.

she I hate that And we were like He was doing that for a while And it pissed me off No he was No he was This nigga just absorbs everything Like everything

Yeah If it's hot He's gonna try it out And then he's gonna be like I'm gay And then he's gonna stop Because that's what usually happens Right

Because there's a few There's a few For like I was like Oh he's got a new one And then it went away And I'm like Yeah I don't use I use the same slang

I've been using As I was like Fucking 14 But you try Yeah I give it a try You give it a try and then he'll like, oh, that sucks. And what's crazy is that he'll, sometimes the Kingsman will adopt new slang. And then insists like, no, I'm saying this forever.

Like, which one? I can't remember exactly. I just, I just remember that this happened a couple times. I would say lit and stuff like that. Lid and I did say when I was younger. Those squibbles. And I was like, squibbles, why are you saying that? I'm going to say it forever, Nick.

And then he'll stop saying it once he comes out of stashment. It's like, brother, I know, I know for a fact you didn't say that before. Sheesh was one of them. I remember you were saying like I seven saying that forever I'm like brother no one's been saying that forever It's new and dumb

I feel like she's not the one I said too much often But I definitely said it You went through like a good Two week period Where you just wouldn't stop with it Because sheesh is old But not in that way

Right People just like sheesh It's like every once well That was just like psych Sike fell out But it was it was in the scene Oh yeah Syke

Sike You know Oh yeah It's so funny I love that Please say Sike Please say Sike Please say Sike is funny

Please say Sike is good So it's inside wild and you're like, yo, please say psych. It's always paired with like a really good image too, I feel like. It's always like something that's like really not okay. And it's like, please say psych. It's like, yeah, you got the new fucking, the freaking, the little tail. You got the little tail only fans kind of fire. It's like, bro, please say psych.

Please say psych. The most notable psych is, what was it? It was Chet Hanks was walking down the street saying like really nice things. I think about Biden or Trump. Trump or something or talking about unity or something. And then he goes, psych? And then he immediately goes like, Pat's Juan. He's like, pussy, like, he started immediately saying all this crazy shit about Trump.

And I'm like, he's such, he's a funny guy, man. He's, I can't believe he's, uh, Tom. Tom, Hank's son, like, fucking Colin and then Chad Hanks. I know it's like half brothers type shit, but like, they couldn't be more further from anything. The dichotomy of people. It's so funny. He's, I got really into his Jamaican girl one time, right? And I just get a complete deep dive on her fucking fucking language.

Oh, yeah, I did see that. Did you see the new, clearly? The new trailer for Fallout, the season two. I saw, I stared at her and I rewind instead of her. Oh, yeah, it was like, look at her. I was like, oh, dude, need some yogurt on her eyes, you know what I mean? She's a little. Every time it goes to far.

El-Pran. He just keep going back. El-O-Pranel. I can just pause it, but I'm choosing not to. pearl on her nails. You're fucking pigs. Yeah, this nigga, you just,

you're thinking of the same thing just quietly. You just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, uh, it's polite to think quietly. They say it, they say,

this is not a polite on that. He's still, this thing is still going. Lily's there just watching him do it over and over and watching his pants grow. He's like,

and deflate rapidly. That grubly. I think that's the only notable thing I saw this week trailer for that show. Yeah, that got revealed. I'm excited to see it. It's coming out pretty soon, too. Sooner I thought it was.

Yeah. Sooner than I thought it was. I mean, it was always slated for December. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't know the period of time. Yeah, it's looking good.

Looks like they actually... It's crazy. It's like they actually play the game. And stuff like that. Walton Gaggins is actually... Did you ever see his character in Sons of Anarchy? I don't remember him since that are he? He's a trans.

woman, a trans hooker. Oh yeah, that's right. And sons of anarchy. He was fucking tigs, if you remember a TIG or TIG? Tigna Taro? I don't think that's it. But whatever. Anyway, my point is that they're bringing...

What do you do? No, I'm going to. Ignore him. All right. I don't even remember what we're going to do. The ghoul's going to have tits. Yeah, yeah. The cool's going to have tits in a week. They're going to be filming a new season of Sons of Anarchy.

and fall out at the same time and they're just not going to have time to switch between wardrobe so they just they just gave the ghoul tits and they're just like go with it he just mentioned in his cowboy tire with these blushes

fucking breast that would be amazing that's fucking crazy shut the fuck up you know you you know you you know you're dead in double take

yeah of course I mean you stared I mean what the fuck is the man boy's cure malolololian she said uh sweetie probably farts into his own hand smells it. That's crazy. Interesting.

Is that it? That's it? I mean, I appreciate your $5. I really do. Thank you. It makes the show a lot easier. You're a way. You're crying. No, allergies are fucking destroyed me right now, man. He loves his old disorder. He's crying. He's trying to

blame with allergies. He's sniffling on purpose. He's sniffling on purpose. He's laughing to tears and now it's snotting because he's crying so much. Yeah, I'm, I'm distraught. No, I'm getting destroyed for whatever reason. Have you ever laughed so hard that you just

Broke down Afterwards? No, Kevin Spacey wrote in I have, I've definitely laughed to the point And I'm like, I'm just laughing about laughing

You guys answer this one I'm gonna go blow my nose Yeah, go ahead. This is fucking... I'm gonna go blow my load I'll blow my fucking brains out All right.

I'll put down some plastic though. Okay. Respectfully at least. Somebody. It's like Benedict Wong's head after the guy about a car. What? In freaking,

oh, well, yeah Kevin Spacey wrote in he says Hey boys Kevin here with some actually

something actually meaningful Some story about a French kick streamer named Jean Porminov I don't know I don't know how to pronounce

that in French Jean Parmanove Parmanove? Parmanove? I don't know Just just dropped Apparently he was

forced into being beaten and tortured by his co-streamers so that he could afford to live This culminated into him getting killed Most likely by these people So my question is

If any of you were legally able to torture someone Who would you choose? I wouldn't torture anybody I don't have enough hatred of my heart For an individual To torture them Yeah I hate concepts more than people

So I can't really like I mean there are people that I really low Then I wouldn't mind seeing them go away forever But I wouldn't torture them I would just get rid of them I would like, you're gone. I think that I. And even that they would have to be pretty,

I'd have to be pretty furious at the fact that they're even alive. I can't bring myself to dictate someone should die, you know? That's my line where I'm like, I shouldn't be, I shouldn't do that. I shouldn't have the choice in someone living or dying. But I think it's a case by case. I just don't think it's my life. I think it's generally like 99% of the time. The answer is probably like I wouldn't feel comfortable.

But there's always that 1% where it's like, that guy should probably not be around like a Joker it's still not my place it's still not my place it is kind of though because I think at a certain point with with somebody like that you kind of

you kind of have a responsibility to do something I agree I think there's a point to there but like I feel like in real sense right now where we are right now and a lot of people that probably don't deserve to be alive anymore they deserve to go by the way of the dogs

you know sure or a Dodo like Charlie Kirk his car should start acting funny on a highway. You know, like Elon must should take too much of his medication. Sure. You know, those people deserve to not be here. I think Elon more than Charlie Kirk personally. Charlie Kirk, I just think sucks

and is dumb. Well, dot. Well, dot, obviously. Yeah. Like, the Black Rock CEO should fall asleep. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. But like, I'm not going to do that. That's not my place. It also wouldn't do anything because some other guy would just feel like, yeah. It's some other guy would just. That's got to be concepts. You got a

radical context. Some other guy would just be there. to fill the void or whatever. Derek, if you could choose to torture one person. He comes back in here and he's got a hole in his head. But he's fine, he's walking around. He's like it didn't work. Didn't work. Turns out dying's fake.

That's crazy. Like where did my, where did people I'm related to go? I actually don't know. I discovered immortality. I'm sorry. What a gaper, fucking chasm of your fucking head. It's healing real. you hear it.

Ew. Ew. You're like the slight you're like oh. You can try to your head? Can you hear it?

I love that. That is something that I just think there's something about those types of sounds that I think are hysterical. I remember when we were making the alien video?

Yeah. Like a wet sound. The only, the only reason I made that video is because I had a thought in my head or it'd be so funny to see an alien just like slapping his feet

on the ground and it just makes a wet, disgusting sounds. That was the whole impetus behind that entire video. I wanted to get that shot of the wet slaps.

You look fucked, man. I... Yeah, you look, you've been through something. Can you see? Well, I... So my sinuses and my are really fucked up.

I might have an inner ear infection. Oh, fuck. I'm on antibiotics. 3? Yeah. Well, I kept swimming the pool and then I think, I don't know. Something happened.

Probably got fucking kid pee in your fucking. I definitely got kid piss in my ear, for sure. But the craziest thing is so I have Mechlazine 2 to fight Vertigo, but it's not working right now. That's kind of cool. Yeah, because right now, like, I'm, it's like, you know, like, I'm like, my equilibrium's fucked.

But it comes and goes. And so do I. Hey, oh. Yeah, I'm a little, I'm a little fucking, I was like, oh. Oh, you're good. Do you know anything about this story? What is it? It seems like something you'd know about, but maybe not.

not. This kick streamer, Jean Porminov. Porminova or whatever? Porminovo. So Kevin Spacey wrote in about it. He said, apparently this dude was like he was like a kick streamer in France, or a French kick streamer at least. And he was forced into being beaten and tortured by his co-streamers so that he could afford to live and it culminated in him getting killed. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM.

I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind it. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today,

with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. Wow. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We are happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology. It's getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things.

To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, ORAIDA, Silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meats, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more.

Enjoy savings on top of savings. when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. What? Right? Doesn't that sound like something you'd hear about? Yeah.

But then also at the same time. So like... Seems like the news happens really fast. So like maybe not. And kick, did this happen on kick? I don't think it happened on kick. I think it happened off... I'm not really sure.

Dude, kick is weird, man. The people they allow on that platform is crazy. It's all I say. Like, that's a lot of like... It is actually just most easily. Yeah. Like straight up. This is a...

What is it? A wretched hive of scum and villainy? Yeah, fucking Magipur, literally. It's like, this place is fucking bad. It's just like regular... Okay, yeah, here we go. French streamer dies live... Oh, shit.

Online after months of apparent mistreatment. Man, he was humiliated and mistreated for months during live stream... What the fuck? So, yeah, I guess the news just came out yesterday. At least all the articles are dropping. That's crazy. I do think streaming is bad for like society.

Yes. What like, um, such of that IRL shit. Yeah, yeah, no, for sure.

Yeah. I think in general it's a problem. I think I think the parisotial nature is a problem in general. I think even with consecration in the first place. Yeah. I think like fundamentally it's not okay. I think people have to make an effort to keep that, that film between them and their fans.

How do you guys feel? I mean, it's not streaming necessarily, but like, I was thinking about this kind of recently, whereas like movies that are 20 years old don't feel 20 years old in the way that 20 year old movies felt 20

years old 20 years ago. Yeah 100%. I understand that's a crazy sentence. Yeah, how it is. Does that make sense? There was the whole transition. Because everything's like readily available now. Like I watched Spider-Man right or like Spider-Man 2 or something. It's like this is a 20 year old movie. It doesn't feel 20 years old. I get it. Because it's like available and also it doesn't look archaic really. I mean it's the same way the idea that like our past,

our past seems like a long time ago only relative to the fact. that we've had the ability that it continuously peer into our past opposed to our parents They didn't have the ability to look back into their past as readily as we do, you know? I can go back and watch power

You'd have to bust out a photo album I can go watch Power Rangers I watched when I was five years old right now if I wanted to. Right. It feels weird. It feels weird looking that far back opposed to my grandma 20 years ago

or not 20 years ago or not 20 years ago couldn't do that shit. Yeah. Yeah. So in Puerto Rico was just there and then it was gone. Yeah.

The second it was over. Yeah, it's interesting. It's weird. I don't know It's interesting It's a weird loop of dichotomy Where we are exposed to so much Don't say dichotomy like you're saying anything

It's a it's a weird loop of things where it's like things are both way more attached than they were But then also way further back Because there's so many things in between them now Sure It's interesting You're gay I mean I'm not very much so Yeah

Fuck you you can't even fucking see right now I can see I think with my dick twice It just feels like somebody's pushing down to me right now Like my shit's fuck at all like crazy right now. Get a fucking, get a fucking needle to. Do you need like an aspirin?

I got aspirins or something. That's all I really have though. No, um, because I, I took, uh, I probably need to go back. Want a spoonful of aqua four? What the hell is that? What do you mean? You know what aquifer is? Actually don't.

Aquifer. Aqua four? Ah, yeah. Is that like, uh, is this a dad joke? What's happening? No, what do you say? Are you serious? I don't know what I'll go for is.

No, I'm asking. I said, I said it to know what it is. Tell me. It's the stuff that you put on like tattoos to help him heal. Aqua four? Yeah. I use, um,

piss. Oh man, I'm a little too, yeah. Um, A and D. If you gotta go, you know,

A plus D. Oh, yeah, yeah, wait a, WD40, yeah. If you got to go, get out of here,

man, if you need to get, no, no, what I need to do is I probably need to go back and the, I need to,

um, you ever, you ever, you ever, you ever, you ever, you ever, like,

I got to like, yeah, go ahead. I basically, I basically, I'm, I basically, whatever. No, go do your thing. If you're, if you're, if you're, if you're not okay, go to San Luisano.

I just got to do that real fast. Okay, fine. Yeah, I'm not a, yeah. Man, shut up. This thing is like, yeah, hurry up. Get fucking out of here. I just move off the way. Oh, look my mic. Majin George Costanza rode in. That's a bad, that's a, that's a, that's a crazy. He's not even evil, but he's just genuinely willing to, like, to just inconvenience. anybody. He's too self-oriented.

Already. Yeah. He's too insecure and too, yeah, he's too insecure to have that amount of power, man. But I don't think he'd use to really hurt people. I think he would just use it to maybe have like, in trying to make himself feel good,

it would make things around him very bad. He would use it to benefit himself, not necessarily at the cost of other people, but kind of inherently. because that's kind of how it would... Others will suffer, but it's not like to make them suffer. Right. He wouldn't set out to do it.

Although he... I don't know. Early... It is actually crazy because early show George Costanza is way worse. Really? Yeah. Because early show George Costanza tried to like poison... He tried to roofy his boss

at like a fucking, I don't know, birthday party. And that's like... That's like worse than anything he would do later on. Like later on he's just neurotic and like kind of like doesn't even hope his wife dies? Doesn't like, or she in the death of his wife?

No, he doesn't hope his wife. He just feels like I'm getting married and I don't know if I like this person. This kind of sucks. But he's going to do it because he can't stand up for himself. So he's just like, whatever. I guess I'll suffer forever because like I can't, I can't find it in my heart to hurt somebody. And then she turned lesbian.

And he's like, oh. They date and then she becomes a lesbian. And then they date again. and then they get married and then she dies because they're sending wedding invitations or no they don't even get married They're too many stamps, right?

They're too many stamps she dies. She's looking that He doesn't want to spend a lot of money on the envelopes So he buys these cheap fucking envelopes with toxic glue And she licks so many of them And she dies because she gets poisoned by the glue And then she dies in the hospital And then they're kind of like

Oh Okay Who's the one to unplug somebody on the fucking on the bed? Is that Jerry? I don't remember what that one was. Unplugging somebody on the bed? Yeah, someone was like on the fucking machine and they go and they unplug it. Who is it?

Is that? It might be Elaine. I wouldn't. Elaine does suck too. They all suck. They're all really. It's always sunny, basically. It's just like, it's a network.

It's always sunny with network limitations on it. Yeah. The shit that they do. Yeah. It's like, it's like always sunny, but like you're not, they're not as, uh, colorful. They're not saying slurs. But there is an episode where they, they talk about whether or not they're racist. Yeah, I remember that episode, of course

Yeah, I think Elaine's dating Somebody that she assumes is black And then they find out that they're And then she finds out that He finds out she's not Latina And then she finds out that he's not black And then they're like, we're just white people And then they break up because it's boring to just be white people

That show is actually crazy for the 90s It's a good show All right, read a question, go ahead No No, no Show's over actually What do you think, Derek? What the fuck, Derek?

That's crazy. That is insane. What kind of language is that? It's like one of the masks and fucking tacking the power of juju. What is it? Oh, the masks. I don't remember tagging the power of juju that well.

They had masks, right? You might be right. I don't remember anything. They were into it. That's all I knew. You know what's crazy? I played through that entire game. I'm pretty sure.

I don't remember a fucking thing about it. I remember the first one really not well. That game had a show on Nicola. Did the game have a show or did the show have a game? Tacking a power of Juju is interesting, right? Because no one was Jewish. Masha George Nizzo wrote in. He says, hey, hey, boys, just wanted to chime in because Chris mentioned how sad all dogs go to heaven is and felt like ruin.

And I felt like ruining your day. Spoilers. And he says, the last scene of the bitch saying, all right, you don't have to say bitch when you're talking about. All dogs go to heaven. Relax. He says, the last scene of the bitch saying goodbye to the dog. He says the dog. He says the last scene of the bitch saying goodbye to the dog bitch is sad in and of itself.

But what makes it even worse is that the girl who voiced the kid died a few weeks after she finished her lines. The full story is really messed up, so I won't get into it. Yeah, I know all about this. That's a little foot girl, right? Yeah, I think so. And so Bert Reynolds, what's your name? So I don't remember the name. But Bert Reynolds, the guy who plays the dog bitch,

saved the goodbye scene for his last day and apparently broke down. crying multiple times. So when you're watching the movie it's not just the dog dying in the arms of a kid. You're watching a man saying goodbye to the kid who he saw his daughter type of. Yeah, that's a sad fucking thing, man. The old dogs go to heaven shit.

Genuinely depressive. Ducky. And it's Bert Reynolds too because he was like an old school like symbol of like masculinity or whatever. So like it was like unusual. It was weird to see him like breaking down. But that's sad shit. Seeing men cry is really sad.

It is really sad. really sad seeing men cry. Seeing your dad cry is a wild. Yeah. It's a wild thing. I don't even like my dad. I think him cry. Yeah, it's like,

you've seen him cry? That's my dad cry. Oh, man. I don't know if I've ever seen my dad cry. I think I've ever seen my dad cry. I think my dad cried. I think I've maybe seen it once in my entire life. I saw him cry.

I usually just go away. He just leave the room. He's like, shut up bitch. I would never do that. You know, I would never do that. I really realized how many, I actually like hundreds of Viacongi killed.

He was like, oh shit. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. I was a little sad. I could have killed 10 more and I would have been an even 3,000. It is like, what? 3,000?

3,000's crazy. Yeah. I've seen my dad. It's funny though because I've seen my mom cry like a thousand times. Right. For like no reason. Well, you know. I've seen my grandma.

Sometimes she'll see a flower and she'll be like, oh, it's so pretty. I've seen my grandma cry like maybe four or five times. She's not a cryer. Yeah? Want to bet? Yeah. I don't even know what that means That's then you wait so much bad

There's a lot of bad I just thought like what's What's something to say right now And that's what came out Oh that is insane Anyway clit yeastwood Clint yeastwood It's crazy

Clit yeastwood wrote it A great name by the way Rodin he says Recently I got fired from my retail job Yeah hopefully because of us Yeah hopefully not I was able to find a new job doing residential HVAC. Oh, okay.

My dad found me a job with someone from his parents' church. I like the job. It's a good learning experience. However, all my coworkers are Jehovah's Witness. I personally think the religion is kind of stupid. Well, my friend. I mean, it's a religion, of course. You either think religion's stupid or you don't.

Yeah, like, you can't. I learned really early on you can't really pick and choose with that stuff because it's, Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example.

If anybody has more than 10,000. 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change

in the process, because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber

deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle. Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signatures Select.

Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. You just kind of, I don't know, it's like being a fan of, it's like Fast and Furious. Right. You're either a fan of it because it's stupid, or you think it's stupid and because of that, you're not a fan. Right.

It's the idea of being a, it's like, it's like saying like, oh, manga's cool but comics are stupid it's like my nigger yeah it's largely they're all the same it's it's like people should be killed that bothers me they're all the same it bothers me when people insinuate that stuff because it's just like have you even heard about the stories that they tell in comics about like the dumbest shit ever slayed and fucking terra and all this crazy shit like it's they're all full of dumb shit it's no different than manga right manga might be well i they're equivalent. I was going to say manga might actually be better, but like,

maybe not. It's either or for me. It's whatever. How are you feeling? A little bit better? A teeny bit. You need anything? I don't think I can do anything about it. I even, I took mechlazine as opposed to stop the vertigo, but it's clearly not working right now. I would know what vertigo is exactly for you. Is that when you're just like

dizzy? It's when you feel off balance, right? Yeah. It's like when you're equilibrium is fucked. So if you have an ear and ear infection, that's one of the easy telltales. I like doing that stuff to myself on purpose, like spinning around real fast for like 10 hours. That's insane. That is insane.

I think you'd probably get like die. You might die from that. You might die from that. For 10 hours straight, just twirling like fast. I love those videos of the people on the, what is it the, on a fucking revet.

No, no, the videos of the people on like playground equipment, the stuff that like spins real fast and they like have a rope and they pull it and then they just can't handle it. And they fly off and break their fucking limbs. The limb gets caught. And then it keeps moving. It's snatching.

not, it's usually not anything like physically crazy that happens to them. They're just spinning so fast that they're just like, my brain. There's a video of like a fat old woman on like a tire swing. And it's like there's like a rope attached to the top and their kids are pulling it. And she's spinning so fast. And she's just like, oh my God, let me down. But like the centrifugal force sounds hysterical. I got to save these videos.

I lose it. I like the idea of bending sound. It's pretty cool. Yeah. Anyway, Clint Eastwood. I don't know, man. You got to look, accept the job, accept your job.

Jobs are hard to find right now. Yeah. So don't get too picky and choosy right now. But just, I don't know. The job's good. If the coworkers are fine, you know, are they trying to recruit you? Well, he says, I personally think the religion is kind of stupid,

but I want to be respectful. What should I say when they invite me to their meetings, if I don't want to hurt the relationship or lose the job. Just say, oh, no, no, I'm good. No, thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you.

It was entirely valid. You don't need an explanation to go. But I will tell you. We'll tell you. We'll tell you. Those witnesses women are, they're not partaking in the penis. And if you find a means to get a little bit of them,

by all means to do it. What are you saying? I fucked two girls that were Joe's Witnesses. Because they said they were like, oh, I'm Joe's Witness. It was like, oh, cool. And then we had sex. Less than a year later.

And I was like, oh, interesting. Less than a year. Less than a year. That's a slow burn. It's a very slow burn. It's work. It's work. What the fuck you talk about?

I was slowly being like, hey, this religion is bullshit. We should have sex, though. And it worked. But you worked for a very long time. That's almost like being in like a fake relationship. It's not. It's not. It's just being around present.

Okay. And knowing. Was it particularly good? Like, I don't understand. It was just sex. It was kind of easy sex. Okay, so I think it's just a... It doesn't sound easy.

Where you're describing it? Yeah, it was passive. It sounds like it's a notch on his belt. Like, oh, I fuck these girls that were technically unavailable. Right. Yeah. It did exactly. I broke their resolve.

Exactly. It's really like, resolve is not difficult to... Resolve is being... I got them. Resolve is inherently being broken all the time. It's like resisting constantly. It's not, it's not impressive to break resolve. Yeah.

The world does that. Banging religious women is not hard at all. For you, it's not. Well, for them, it's a lot easier because of the pent-up emotions and bullshit that they've been taught. So then in a situation to where, you know, it's now overwhelming. Every female. It's more alluring because it's more exciting to them, actually. Yeah.

So it's not actually. If you're a casual, if you're just, if sex is casual to you, then who gives a shit? Every woman, every woman you should meet it, have some sort of, ulterior motive that is sexual. There should be no friendly relationship between women at all, right? What the heck? Oh, oh my God. Okay, so I don't know, look, this looks legitimate.

I'm fresh, that's fit. Hold on, hold on. This looks, this, I'm just going to take it on face value that this is legitimate because it looks fairly well thought out. Yeah. Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. we discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.

At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.

I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.

To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signatures Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only.

Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. It's a scientific write-in, and you're seeing this, right? Okay. The only issue is, look, I'm not calling you the question the bona fides of this particular ride-in, but it is from Neigger. Oh, well. Okay.

So, grain of salt. It's, this may or may not be true. But I have too much time on my hand. So he wrote and he says, I have too much time on my hands. Here's what happens.

Do you remember when we asked this? Here's what happens if everyone on Earth hyperventilates in one square mile for a year. In one square mile. Because I was wondering if we could just like destroy the atmosphere if we did that. He said space. So space problem. 8.1 billion people in one square of

is approximately 3 centimeters squared per person. Everyone instantly crushed and insphyxiated. Sure. Breathing problem. If somehow they all hyperventilate oxygen gone in seconds. CO2 reaches lethal levels almost instantly.

Local heat output equals hundreds of nuclear power plant's packed into a city block. The physiology hyperventilation can't be sustained. People faint in minutes. Die in under an hour. Planetary effects.

if magically sustained. So this is the hypothetical that I was asking for. Like if somehow this was possible, CO2 emissions, thousands of times higher than all of human industry combined, rapid climate catastrophe, ocean acidification, atmosphere destabilization. Bottom line, everyone dies right away.

If not, Earth dies soon after. I'll believe it. It's a nice theory. It sounds crazy, but also might not be incorrect. I don't know. Whatever. It would have to be recreated. The conditions.

you have to create the conditions with probably really powerful machines that could replicate in this small area this is what it would be like if 8 billion people were all And this is not worth doing that because you'd fuck up the planet for no reason. Or do you have the resources to even fucking do that right now. So let's do it.

Let's get everybody in that one square mile. To try it. Hyperventilate real quick. Can we crush like a really small, like say you know how like islands are perceived as like

it's like oh here's a thing that's just floating independent of itself but like it's still it's rooted in the planet yeah so but if there's that much weight concentrated can we collapse it what do you break through the planet yeah like we start like Hawaii sinks

like Honolulu sinks because there's so much fucking weight on it like it actually collapses the you know the oh you mean like disobe Despite the fact that it is not floating. It is not actually floating. There's simply so much on it that it just sinks anyone. So there's a small, any small, I'm just taking like a Honolulu since it's a very small portion.

Sure. So like you put enough weight on it can we start collapsing like the twin towers. Then it just starts going down. Oh, I think I think what's his name again? I'm assuming it's a guy because of the name. But Neigger. Neigger. I'm assuming that might be an aging female.

I know. I'm trying to understand, like, how that would work. Because I feel like there are places that are plenty crowded already that are just not sinking, you know? Yeah, I feel like the first would be, like, India since it's like such a small... I was like in India or like New York would just sink eventually. Like, I'm fucking... When New York is sinking. Well...

Like, at a dramatic rate. Is it sinking or is just the water rise, like, you know what I'm saying? I mean, I know what you mean, but like, yeah, but what's happening. The end effect is the same, but one is different. One is water going, which is how... that's happening. So let's just look at, so India already has like probably two million people at this point. Yeah. Let's just keep adding more. What are you saying? We're going to bring. To move all humans to India? So we just might as well.

Since they're already such as a amount in that small concentrated area, we might as well start. You're right. I don't, this guy's already thinking some crazy shit. I know, I know. I can, I'm not even trying to go there. I can kind of like feel it. Like there's almost like a warm. If you, it's almost like when you, you put your hands up to like an old CRT and you feel the static. Yeah. That's like what it feels like. I can hear in the back on of his head just, like it's already like coming and it's getting louder.

It's like muffled. Yeah. There's a low pass on it. He's just, he's just, oh man, I'm just laughing. I think you're really funny. That's it. I just think like that's the better what there's,

maybe there's a better place to choose, but I just feel like that seems the obvious place to start. The easiest because there's already so many people there. We might as well start Because you don't want to start in Oh let's start in Montana That doesn't make any fucking sense No you're right

You're right You start where you're already ahead Can you can you transport natural disasters Other places Because I was wondering like What if you just bring tornadoes to like Russia Like we capture You just air drop a tornado

Into a fucking foreign land It goes crazy Like it's a fucking animal That's so crazy Like it's over a body of water Like let it go by water It's gonna be really bad When they touch it's down

And these touchdown, these ruins of fate. If reality worked that way, we'd be so screwed, man. If you could just, like, heard a tornado into a box and then close it real quick and then, like, let it go somewhere else. I love the idea that it's still going. Yeah, it's still going. It's cut off from all the elements and it's still going. How much is a tornado way at that moment, you know? How much is a tornado way?

We can put it on one of those truck stations and actually weigh it, you know? What you do is, all you do is you said a tornado and you kind of throttle it so it becomes a smaller tornado. And then you release it over the water For a place you don't like So it gets real strong and big by the time it gets there Well, it's a hurricane at that moment Of water How heavy?

It's a cyclone, I guess. How much does a tornado weigh Might be the stupidest thing I think I've ever heard Look it up. It's interesting because It has to have some sort of meat Well, it has been

By the, especially by the, you know, whatever it's carrying. So it's an easy way to do it We capture it in the box Or the whatever like we say We put it on the truck The truck gets weighed And then minus the truck's weight

We know And then we whip it Soundery. We whipped the tornado. We whipped the tornado. It gets really angry and violent. You let it out. Tornado.

We don't feed it for two weeks. You don't feed it so it's fucking. It's angry. And then you fucking let it out and let it just fucking run amok. That would be terrible. You let it out in a fucking D.C. street. How crazy would it be if you found it that tornadoes were sent shit? And you'd be like, how fucking dare you?

So you guys are like fucking everything up on purpose? How fucking dare you? This is it. It's like, cuts. to the United Nations of tornadoes. There's just a big room of tornadoes sitting at desks. And they're to get their way so they just start tearing everything up. Oh, this is a bad idea to invite them.

They start fighting. They start fighting it. And they're like, oh, no, the tornadoes are going at it again. Oh, man. What did you have your daughter married one? Your daughter married a tornado. God damn it. I can't be too mad because it might destroy me if I oppose, you know.

But I got to make sure. Because what do you do with the married? Tornado is clearly beaten your daughter. Right. How do you handle that? They kill it. Well, how do you? It just insists that it's the wind.

Yeah. I'm not doing it. How does it sound as a f f, you just, it's just, it's just warring and wind, but you somehow understand it's like grout. I know what you're saying,

tornado. I understand. Tornado. Man, I just a tornado. Why does my daughter have 20 black eyes? That's not a good enough excuse. You're like, oh, hey, just get heated.

Calm down. Come, ah. It's torn apart in every direction. It just drops you somewhere else. You're spinning just falling off. Oh, you don't even know where you are. This is literally just interdimensional table. You're naked.

You have no fucking bone or nothing. You're dropped off plain flat land. You're like, what the fuck have I? dropped off, you hit the ground real hard, you're hurt bad. Then you get up and you don't know where you are. It's not it's sunlight, but the sun is going down and there's a bunch of open space around you. You see fucking old school year-200, year-1200 fucking like Mongolians. And I'm like, through time?

Is it, is this a reenactment? And then they kill you. Yeah, yeah. They just kill you. I like the idea that they have their own government. And it's, uh, it's called tornado. Yes. Brilliant.

But I guess a tornado would be That's as clever as they could be It's really all they have Tornado Very cool The silver enforcer Herald of Gus Lactus Fring wrote in He says hey guys recently got a fake out job offer

That's cool There's a million of those by the way It's really awesome I love that Trying to get a real job is already combative enough But now you have to deal with fake People Trying to take it as well

and steal your attention. It's awesome. It's very cool. But he says new place was opening in the city next over to mine. And the bus commute was perfect. The benefits promised in the interview. The benefits promised in the interview and the store setup was perfect only for me to come in to train for one day and get absolutely shat on seven and a half hours after my first ever day at the job. after having believed that I had absolutely a great day I get a text message, not even having enough respect to call me, telling me that I won't be right fit for the position and that I asked too many questions during the training and made too many offhand comments?

I was damn near silent the entire time other than operation questions. All this to ask, have any of you got through anything similar? P.S. Apologies for the most inconvenient and difficult part of this was to have to go back down to $5 tier because I have to

What? Because I have to get back to the job search. Oh, no worries, man. Take a good time, dude. Don't ever, yeah, don't... Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing. Whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together? It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?

Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right?

My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season.

These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Relax with that. No, if you feel like...

Don't ever apologize for not give you... his money. It's insane. If you feel like you can't afford it, man, it's not even a question. You just, just don't do it. Just do it when you can. Yeah, we'll be here. Yeah. But I got to say, sometimes I, in those situations, because somebody's in the right, somebody's in the wrong. Right. And sometimes when I hear this story, let me give you an example to support what I'm about to say. People get kicked out of bands. It happens a lot of times. and then they say, man, I didn't do anything. They did this.

They did this. And I'm like, well, is that true? Was the band that shitty? Or was the person not aware of how fucking difficult they were actually to be around? And in this situation, I'm more inclined, expect this guy's giving us money. Do I believe him? Yeah. That's how it works.

Yeah. I have biases. I admit it. But it's also, it's like, because I'm like, it does happen. Because it's same thing happened. Jojo's friend got fired. And I was like. Everything sounds like it was just completely bullshit.

Is this the friend that you were telling me sucks? No, no. Okay. No, this was, if I don't remember, but if I... I was literally just trying to get him in trouble. Okay. Because I was like, if I was like, I don't remember that, but it's not that one because

I'm sure there are something that suck. Yeah. But, uh, yeah, no, it was just, I always wonder. But like, I had a experience now where I can say, for sure I was one of the better workers. and I got I just think it was just pure racism It was just had some You know

Some piece of shit boss There was a There was a guy that was late Every fucking day because he had a DUI And got his car taken So he had to skateboard six miles to work And That's so crazy

I helped them out Um To work Yeah Dude he was so dead The first time he did it I had a recovery supplement With me

This was before G&C had some experimental shit that they clearly shouldn't have on the fucking market. Yeah. People always talk about that back in the day. Like the supplements were way better. I'm like, yeah, there's a bunch of shit that should have been. So this recovery supplement, whatever the fuck was in it, like, was like magic.

And him, he was like, this is the best thing I ever taken. I started giving him some. He was late every day. I busted my ass. I got a new guy came in this stupid EDM white guy that would dance during his lunch, which pissed me off. He'd put on his fucking radio and be practicing. And I'm like, you're so fucking gay.

Like I'm here just eating my cup of noodles He's a dancer on the side He's just trying to maximize his time Freaks that would just go to raves He was so gay And using his lunch break to dance You'd be sweating He'd be fucking like getting it

And I'm like you're so gay We're unloading trucks bitch Like sit down Anyway I got fired And I was like What the fuck? I went up to the big boss

It's because he went up to him And called him so gay I didn't do that This is all internally I did not tell the kid He's gay I don't know Well that's crazy

Tell my coworker I just met this guy I'm like you're fucking gay For a dance guy Yeah, no I'm not I was just thinking that But I got fired He heard you anyway

Then that's terrifying He can read minds All that dancing helps him remind He's so good But for some reason He had to go through the same Fucking job agency through me To unload trucks for JCPen

For fucking eight hours By the way I'll upload and offload trucks I lost so much I was in the best shape of my life Oh yeah I bet Dude I was like oh why would I need a gym membership I'm fucking shredded now

Anyway I got fired For not doing anything I was not late every day There was a new guy Basically they chose me I just think it was one of those rare times Where like straight up racism Like the guy who was just fucking racist

And he was looking out for his Mexican homies He was this and that But it was one of those things I'm like I did literally nothing wrong how the fuck did I get fired? Yeah. And like, so like this guy, if this is the scenario where you just did his thing, didn't

ask that many questions, stayed quiet and they're like, oh, fuck you're gay. Could be. It could be. And it just could have been like somebody else, like a homie. A lot of times this happens. Oh, I don't get my homie in. So I'm just going to make an excuse to fire you. Even though we just got you on, I know somebody that I want better and just lie to you.

And so, you know, even though I said like there's a scenario where sometimes people can be almost, maybe not even lying. not aware. Not aware. Right. But I'm more inclined to believe that with the industry, for whatever reason, they fucked you over for, for whatever reason, which sucks cock. Yeah. Cock.

Maybe. Yeah. Like I, uh, like I know people who are definitely unaware of how they come off. Uh-huh. You know what I mean? It's definitely, those people are real. Yes. 100%.

For sure. You know, I, uh, the, the offspring drummer. He was like, oh, I got fired for, uh, they didn't respect my. COVID, I had an exemption or something. And I'm like, okay, if it was just medical, they wouldn't fire you. What they would do is find a replacement so they can play with somebody who's vaccinated because those are a requirement for the venues, just temporary. And then they would bring you back on when everything opens up.

If it was just purely medical. Because that happens all the fucking time. Oh, man, you're injured in sports. Whatever it is, it's a medical issue. We have replacements for you. We're not going to fucking fire you. you're under a contract. No, you got fired because you suck.

And how I know he sucks is because he started jamming with Tim Poole afterwards. So I'm like, oh, medical exemption. No, you were a freak being scared of vaccines. And then you went to go jam with Tim because he's a freak like that too. Well, I've jammed with Tim Pool. Well, but in the specific. Oh. In the specific thing, you didn't jam with him because you were like, hey, you're.

You're a piece of shit like me. Yes, he did. Exactly what he did. Well, kind of at the time. He was like, oh, I'm a piece of shit. You're a piece of shit. Let's make shit music together. Let's take pieces of shit music.

You guys knew each other. You guys were in this similar thing and then like Liz Jam. Right. And they were like, oh, we're both pieces of shit. I'm an anti-vaxxer. You're an anti-vaxxer. Litch Jam. Like, that's what it was.

I'm racist. You're racist. I'm gay. You're definitely gay. Let's make music. You're bald. I'm cool. let's jam.

I'm trying to be bald. Teach me. Teach me. How do I bold? How do I bold fast? Teach me, Tim. Dude, I've met people where like, it's crazy because like, you ever meet somebody in this is like one thing that just completely fucks it?

We're like, I remember I was, I met this one guy at, uh, at an event who's like very nice. Yeah. But like, rapist? Yeah, rapist. Really? No. ORA. You did you feel it?

No. It's like the extreme. No, it was the thing that... You guys don't be rapists all the time? It's crazy. So the thing that got me specifically with him was just... Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.

At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing. Whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with, better AI coming up with quantum or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.

I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.

To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only.

Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. It's very perfectly nice. Perfectly, like, I could tell it's like, oh, you work hard or whatever. But I feel like you haven't brushed your teeth in six years. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, and it's just like, man, I think so much less of you.

Just this one thing. It's like, you're talking so close to me. Oh. Which, by the way, like, dude, like, even when I'm pretty confident that, like, even when I've just brushed my teeth and I'm like, I've been chewing gum, you know? I'm not talking close to people. Because I don't want to smell people's breath anyway. Even if it's not. Like I just don't want it.

It's not a, it's not a pleasant experience. It's not, yeah. So like just the, the, just that one lack of, the lack of like a fucking.

Discipline. Distance. And then also just like, brother, what are you doing? That'll do it. Like, what is going on with this?

Hygiene is crazy. Like, I can't, like, I don't understand how people operate the way they do sometimes. I, Um, there is everyone, if you go to a commercial gym, every once in a while, and this actually happened to me in a Japanese barbecue place. And I was so, the server, he's just working too hard. But unfortunately, he's sweaty. I can smell that he's really bad at wiping his ass. Oh. And I'm just like, you like, that's horrible. It is though it's immediately like, I want nothing to do with you. Yeah. And the server, the fun of the thing is the server was like tall and handsome, but just poor hygiene. I was like, this is a, it is a server. I was like, this is a. I was like, this is a server. I was like, this is a server. I was. It's. It's a server. It's. It's a server. It's a. It's. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. The server. The server. The It's

a really good looking strong guys. It probably gets a lot of tips, but maybe not so because I can smell his ass. And I'm like, that's crazy. Like, through your pants, brother? No one's giving him the right tips. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Clearly. No one's telling him to.

How do you broach that? Exactly. Because I didn't tell that guy. Right. Because like, what am I going to do? I'm going to be like, hey, by the way, your breath smells up. You ate a cow four years ago. And that was the last time you brushed your teeth.

How do you? Like, how do you broach that with somebody that you just met? Like, I feel like on some level, I don't know, I feel like on some level that's like a good thing to do. Because it's like, I don't mean anything bad about it. I'm just like letting you know. You're trying to help them. It'll help you to know this. But also like, I know people aren't strong.

I know I just know people aren't strong willed enough to accept that in the good faith in which it's being brought up. Right. And so I'm just like, this is not worth. Because how we learn how we learn how to talk to people. It's, it's, you know, people, a lot of people are not taught how to talk to people correctly, you know. because of experience of how they're spoken to. People are not, that's true. People are not taught how to talk to people,

but then also people aren't taught really how to respond. Yes. But that's a bigger one. But those are all, they're all a cycle. It's in the same family. Because what happened is that like most people, like for me,

I was overly fucking, like, criticized when I was younger by my grandmother, right? She didn't intend to be mean to me, but that's how she was, her mom was like that to her. And then she's like, all right,

cool, I'm going to do this to somebody else. So it turns it to, cycle of people not know how to do that, you know? Like most people take things to heart. A lot of people, like, a lot of people take things personally, right? Right. Most of the time, most people are trying to tell you things, which if they care about, you're not telling you to hurt your feelings.

There's something because they care. But what happens that they're so is everybody attacking them, that they're like, oh, this person is trying to hurt my feelings why they're saying these things. So it's a cycle of shit like that all the time. It did does that sometimes. Okay. No, my monitors. His monitors were saying like some warning thing.

I'm like, what the fuck's that? What's that? Oh no. End word alert. It's just been on too long. It's too many. Oh, I see. It's been on screens ever mode and then sometimes it'll just like go completely off.

Gotcha. But the social cues of like say the bad breathings, a lot of times people miss it and it pisses me off. Easy one is offering them gum is a social cue that your breath stinks. And right. They'll refuse it. And I'm like, no, I think you really want this gum. Like, because then you're like, I'm sorry. I didn't want.

This was a very subtle way to not. be rude and you should make that connection. If anyone offers you gum, it's typically... To be fair, I have offered people gum just to be polite because I was taking gum out to chew. If you're taking gum out to chew is different. Because that is... Yeah, but that always seems like that, though.

That's the thing. It should... It's like, oh, my breath always... I'm like, oh, my breath price things. Yeah, I'll take it and I'll keep my... I think it's always a good idea, even if it's for that reason, you should just take it. I think people, like...

Dude, I love gum. It's one of those things. Even if, even if you don't like gum, chew it for a fucking minute and spit it out. It's just easier if it's safer because there's no harm in taking the gum, right? So you either take it, have it, and maybe your breath doesn't stink and it was just an offer, it was just a gesture or your breath smells like shit and you have the gum. Either way,

it's a win-win, just have some gum. I think it's just one of those things. It's hard. Other stuff is harder to come up, but that's an easier one, the breath stinging thing. If there's something in your nose or your teeth, I just say it. Because they'll be embarrassed way more if it's way further down the road. Like, fuck, man, I went this long because it happens that happens. I mean, even sometimes like, I'll check my mother's like, oh, there's a fucking thing

and I'm like, God damn it. No one said anything to me. Yeah. I'm like, nigga, why did you say so to me, man? It's like a fucking log wire. It's like a fucking tapir. It's like a fucking tapeworm. And you're like, it's like when a clown does the napkins. Like watching people have a leeches in their fucking nose and so like that. That's crazy. Your fucking nose. How did a leech get up your nose? I saw a toilet paper.

But that was unfortunate because it was just, I don't know, man. It was at an industry event. And so I'm just like, come on. Like, I don't know. It just, it's striking to me. It's like bare minimum stuff. Yeah, it's not, it's not, like, even, I don't know. Mouthwash at the very least.

I feel like that is the. Yeah, mouthwash isn't the best for you, but like. It's like the, I mean, it's. Because it kills a lot of good bacteria too. But it's better than nothing. My teeth are fine. So I don't know how fucking. Well, it's not really your teeth.

It's more your breath. Like the biome and shit. Because sometimes people, dude, people. Huh? I heard a story from right of it. He's like, yeah, you're supposed to like, yeah, with mouthwash, you're supposed to rinse with half and swallow the other half. And I'm like, brother, you're not supposed to swallow it at all. That's like a crazy wild tale.

Yeah, that's like, who told you this? Who the hell told you to swallow mouthwash? I don't remember what the fuck the story was exactly. But I'm like, you're not supposed to ingest it. as little of that as possible. Yeah. Like maybe a drop or two, like as you're doing shit,

which is normal. But like, you're drinking half of this? Drink some. It's like eating fucking toothpaste. You know that fucking floor running your body and being like, I can't sleep for some reason.

Yeah. Like, you ever eat toothpaste? No. Not on purpose. Well, as what I'm saying. No.

By accident. When I was a kid, I'd definitely eat toothpaste. Yeah. Like on accident. Dude, your stomach churns. Of that shit.

It's working overtime. You're like, what the fuck? Concentrated amount of shit that shouldn't be in you. Like the parts per million that's in tap water is fine. Right. But that's why it's parts per million. Yeah.

Yeah, that's crazy. People have a, but I haven't heard about, no one's told me that I shouldn't mouthwash well. No, because I don't know. It's a good bacteria. I've heard that before. I think you can. What does the good bacteria do? I don't know.

I tend to just believe it. I mean, look, I don't mouth I don't, I just kind of mouthwashed Fairly seldomly compared to everything else I'll floss, I'll brush my teeth I'll chew the gum I'll mouthwash like maybe like twice a week or something like that To me mouthwash because like it's the

It's the bacteria that's causing the odor Why it causes the odor And everything It's bacteria is shitting all over you Sure And you smell like bacteria shit So you want to kill the bacteria that's causing that And that's just

To me I was just say it's a quick way to Your breath smells horribly because bacteria is having fucking parties in your mouth. So if you just mouthwash, I'm saying like, I'm saying if you're a lazy fuck. No, yeah, you're a lazy fuck.

The very least you can do. Being too lazy to brush your view is crazy. It's better though. It's like a, it's like a five minute process. I, yeah. I remember hearing that it was,

it was better to just do the tongue scraper than it was to just rely on the mouth one. Actually, that's probably, those are better for you. That's probably, yeah, I love my tongue scraper. As a matter of fact, I don't know where it's at right now.

I don't use it. I'll use it, but it makes you feel uncomfortable. It's not the most pleasant thing necessarily, but like it's within the realm of reason. I don't, I'll do it, but like, it's not something like. I developed a cringe to regular toothbrushing. I guess I've used electric toothbrushes for too long. But like if I have a regular toothless, let's say, oh, you're going on vacation.

You don't want to bring your left toothbrush or something. Sure. So I just get a regular one. And doing that makes me or hearing it, if I hear people breast her teeth, it just makes me like. Oh, really? It's like nails on a chalkboard for something. I don't know why. That's interesting.

I don't mind. I prefer. for most of my life was a regular toothbrush but then once the electric toothbrushes got good where they have that dock where it charges on and you don't need batteries anymore

that is better yeah and now like I have never went back and I don't have an electric toothbrush you don't no I've been I've been I've been using an acoustic toothbrush for a while acoustic I have big teeth

so right so electrical will feel weird on my fucking mouth it's strange to me it's the opposite now for me it just switched I guess my brain stupid it's just revolutionized the squeakiness of my

teeth were like this is the ones that just vibrated you have the circle ones that spin i have the ones that just they just vibrate so it's like that but they're well no so the ones that i have you don't i'm talking about right yeah because there's but there's a different type of vibration when there's these newer ones that have like this really intense vibration that like oh they would put it in the water and show you how much it swishes i fucking hate those ones uh uh when i was at uh that multi in the multi what's called the multi channel network uh yeah yeah full screen i was at full screen right they gave us a package and one of it was like a really

like a $200 thing and it has all this Bluetooth shit and tells you I fucking hated it It was clearly initially a dildo I mean someone probably probably Oh it was a toothbrush with like an app or something It was so high tech and the way it felt so awkward though The way that it worked but just like the regular

Oral B ones are like $20 Yeah They're fucking fantastic and uh But the water picks though That's revolutionized the game for me Those things scare me man Yeah I feel like I'm gonna rip my friends had

I feel like I'm going to rip my gums off. You have to put it on the soft one because otherwise it does feel like I'm being stabbed. My friend had a cavity in one of them. And he had like a cavity that he didn't know was there. Oh, so we need. I water picked that shit and he had to go to the hospital, bro. Why, it hurt that much? He had to go to the hospital, yes.

Like his face puffed up. Like it was bad. Like it was like. What did you do to him? I didn't do it. What did you do with the peanuts and you like water picked peanut juice into his fucking face? I think I don't know what happened. It must have hit some sort of nerves.

Something was like fucking bad. Like, It was probably a very bad cavity. Did he go that same day? Yeah, same day. What the fuck? He had to go. His face like puffed up.

And I was like, oh, you all right? He was like, he was like, I can't feel like any of this part of my face. And I was like, you're my ride. I'll just call my girlfriend to pick me up, I guess. Go handle your scandal. I would love to know why that happened. Handle your scandal. Because that's what I'd say.

That's a phrase I'd say. What is that from? Handle your scandal. I don't know. That's a very old term. I used to hear people say that back in the day. Scandal is just an old word in general. I don't know.

I was like, Handle your scandal. It rhymes. It rhymes, so it's efficient. I like saying it. It's like a little bit of a di-dip-de-do. It's like I'm a songwriter. Read it names.

Your name's got out of here. It's got out of here. Yeah, all right. Fuck you, niggas. I'm trying to think if there's, trying to see if there's maybe a good one to end on. All of these bitches and all of these Negro. Oh, here's a good one to end on.

Okay, excellent. Here's a good one to end on. Kingston Bear expert wrote in. says why does Cakeson spread misinformation so fucking confidently? On a recent episode, he said bears famously can't run downhill well. That's what I was heard. That's a myth and not true at all. But bears can sprint faster than a horse, but only for short distances.

From National Park Services for 50 to 100 yards, a grizzly can go faster than any horse. That's crazy. It's terrifying. If you understand how fast a horse runs, that's genuinely horrific. Horses are fast, but they're more for distance. Well, they are really quick. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta.

We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines.

Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the time? timeline of this technology. There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway.

Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions.

That doesn't help But the idea is like a bear is like a predator You know most predators can't run for a long time So you'd assume that like They don't need to right They need to quickly get what they're gonna get Because I've seen baby war hogs Dr. Disrespecter only runs in burst

Exactly But that first burst of that That first burst of that 17 year old It's fucking miraculous I like how he's completely fine Yeah He is but he's also just kind of off You know what I mean

Like he's not in the night guy He's still weird. Well, that's true. But like, He's got his own little island. But you know what the fucks? That pisses me off, though, because there's people that, say for example, the last time I checked on, granted this was probably like two or three years ago, I checked on Paul Joseph Watson,

because we haven't talked about a while. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I was like, what the fuck's he been up to? He has like a channel and it was like 400,000 views per video. Yeah. And I was like, he's still killing it, but no one, absolutely nobody talks about him. It's because people build their micro, I mean, it's kind of, it's kind of like this. I guess it is kind of like this.

I guess it is kind of like this, but non-predatory. Like, we've got a very profitable podcast somehow, despite all the shit that we say. Yeah. And we're not like, you know, people are very, we're under a lot of people's radar. Well, the thing is that also, you guys are not in that sphere any longer. You guys are no longer actually in that sphere. Yeah, I'm going to get back in it. I don't think you are.

I don't think you are. I don't think you are. I think you have the bandwidth to do it anymore. I, uh, you're, you're technically right, but I want to challenge myself to, I'm going to try to, first of all, I'm going to revive my music. channel. I haven't done anything with it no mile. I'm going to see if it's possible in this current YouTube if I can try to hit 100K.

I just want to try because I understood how to do it back then. It's very different now and I see there's a lot of people that do this trick, do this trick, do this trick. You got to do this. And the retention of a since the homepage is people's subscription now, a lot of people don't really subscribe

to channels anymore. Yeah. Because what's the point? They're like, it's algorithm I think the big thing would have to be is a multi-platform shit. You gotta have YouTube be a big brand. You gotta do TikTok and Instagram. Although TikTok is fucking stupid. Instagram is so much better.

I, in my experience, in my experience, it is. As a, as a creator, in my opinion, like Instagram just works better.

It's more likely... TikTok is gross TikTok and your TikTok is growing. Not even. The thing about TikTok that's weird is that like, like I have 40 something thousand followers, I think,

or 37,000, something like that. On which one? TikTok and Instagram. but like on TikTok it's like if I post something there's maybe like sometimes like a hundred people will see it

or sometimes like less than a thousand people see it and I was like this just mathematically doesn't make sense right but like on Instagram it's more like it tracks more it's more like oh no this is actually going to the people who actually do follow me and they're actually engaging with it and it just seems to there seems to be more of like a coherent

I see it makes more sense to me how with how things operation. I think TikTok is so much noise. Yeah. It's more algorithm-centric, I think. It's definitely not- It's less platform-specific. Like, if you look at... I post Instagram is more like, you like based on your thing and you'll see that.

Like, I like one butt and I'm fucking drowned in it. I'm like, I can't... I recently got out of, uh, there's no gooner shit on my... You got a gooner shit? I slip back, I backslit again. Yeah, it's, it doesn't work. Now it's just people pop and pimples or something. Which is weird because I don't really watch that, but like,

I guess I'll take it. I got to get out of it again I got to do a mass I got to do a mass liking of puppies and fucking what you call it in D&D stuff My D&D algorithm has fucking blown up On TikTok again Makes me happy

I'm actually wanna play I actually wanna really play the game again But yeah I definitely want to figure out And I'm like I can't do this right now I've completely figured out the I'm gonna get yelled at I've completely figured out the Instagram one

It's it I completely understand how it works The TikTok one is I would have to understand how it works I don't at all I think like out of the I don't post everything on TikTok

but I've posted some stuff and the only thing that blew up was the sleep token like doing those that gay shit and like that one went and it's like oh because that's where they blew up they was two sleep token blew up on Instagram same thing with like bad omens these metal

core these new age metalcore bands but everything else is not like my Instagram is is tailored perfectly and like oh I I know how to, if I want to get fucking 100,000 or plus likes on something, I know like what I should do. I haven't figured out on TikTok at all. We come in for you, nigger.

All right. You guys want to. All right. So we're going to read our $25. up patrons now. Remember, you can go over to Patreon.com. I says, StarTang, join up. Make us say whatever your fucking name wants to be.

Who cares? Go over there. There's a merch shop. We want the gold, sucker. Hulk Hogan. Early access ad free, all that stuff. So pop on over there. Do it.

Send us your stuff. Send us your stories. Send us your questions. For you. Trigger. My trigger is happy. Got me down. We're going to read the 25th.

It's going to be so hot the next few days. It's about to be really bad. I know. I got to find my friends, the friends who have pools and re-ignite that, um, that fake Hey, sorry. Sorry I didn't respond. Oh, I got a new phone. Who's this?

New phone. It was a long time ago. Dude, that is unfortunately true for me. Is that like, because I don't like to, uh, when I get a new phone, I like to have a completely fresh start because I feel like there's like a burden and having like everything. So like with my contact list, it's just like, all right. I'm going to keep the ones that like I know are like an immediate. You delete contacts from your, well, you should.

Yeah, because I just said, I have contacts with people that I can't talk to anymore. Well, that for that reason, there's also, there's also like over time you realize you have duplicates of certain people. I'm gonna go through my phone So whenever I get a new phone It's usually like And also I just don't trust the cloud shit Like I don't know

It's just weird So I'm just like let me just start Fresh here And then I'll like add stuff As it's necessary So I will often be like Who the I'm sorry

Who is this? I do that shit of meeting Somebody text me Like who is this Yeah Who is this They're like Oh it's like

I don't know you sorry And I block him That's crazy That's shit The hurry upness Yeah I mean it's valid Immediately I fucking no no games

Don't contact me You don't like fucking with those fun bots Sometimes No I don't like fucking my BOT because what if I fall in love with a bot? I don't need that fucking Cittery. Count me down.

We're going to read the names now. Three, two, one. The Snark Tank podcast is brought to you in part by these following names. What is this? Cobeba. Nice. My mom's labor duration would agree that it's huge. Blow that bitch Cindy's head smooth off.

I finally saw that shit. I finally saw that shit. Jimmy Neutron doesn't, what you call? He's like, Jimmy Utron doesn't, um, he said some stupid quote that it was like god that makes sense a little bit extreme i love i love how it ends it was like uh knock uh that bitch cindy's head smooth off and then he goes yeah it's like the most it's like the most psychotic way to come to the realization that that's a

good idea i love jimmy neutron that was my shit it was okay stuff like this and like i haven't engaged with it but maybe i should what's the latest so like they start off with something that's like very like oh you're in the middle of a conversation so then you're supposed to be like I'm sorry who's this and then they're gonna make oh so wrong nothing and like it's trying to hook you in That's how I got that message from Kale

Because when I went to go to his party He sent me an invite and I'm like Who the fuck is this? I only knew who it was because of the partyful Invite thing and I was like Oh okay it's kale But what were you saying? What were you about to do?

It was I was not to think about the The thing that I fucking did Some fucking almost said something crazy All right all right shut up whatever I don't trust him to speak in one What should I respond with this? Cut his mic Cut his mic staff

I'm going to engage with the bot, so what should I say? What's the latest? Yeah, so what should I say? I have a narrow, I have a, I have a, I have a narrow urethra. Mm-hmm. And polyps, and the polyps have returned. That's a little elaborate, all right. Hey, man, you have, yes.

All right, I'm giving you my full attention here. Yeah. Anyway, the dead spider. Words that actually have no rhymes one among. Hmm Yeah, what does rhyme with the monks? Probably nothing. Amongst.

See, you would probably like, so, like say you were doing a Dragon Ball Z rap, you'd do something amongst, and then you would mention trunks, you know? That's how you would get away with that. Amongst. So that's basically how you get away with that. Because nothing really rhyme with the monks.

You're not going to rhyme. It's not exactly. You're going to end with just that part, like, okay, the vowel. You can get a near rhyme. You get a near rhyme for that. Rhyme with unksed essentially. Among skunks. That's how you get over that.

And then you'd have to immediately give up that rhyme scheme and go to something else. Well, no, what you would do is that you would go from amongst two skunks. Yeah. And then you would use that word as the basis for the future rhymes. So that way it feels like you've actually been rhyming with amongst the whole time. When really you've been using the next one that you made the stretch. So would you use it on the three bar or the two or the four bar? I use it on the three bar.

Is it in the three bar? I'm not sure what the terminology means. So line per line, you know. So like obviously you try to end the rhyme with the thing you're going to end up rhyming the next thing with at the end as well. Sure, sure. So you would go on the one bar you should start. Shish, what does that mean, by the way? Thank you.

Does it really? Yeah, Shisha. Shishia. What is that from? Ni'hao, niggum. It's from Chinese. It's what you know. Mandarin.

There's a moment in solving I'm pretty sure where someone says, Shishu. Ola. from? What's that shit from? Spain? You fucking jackass. Neil DeGrasse Tyson's stopping time. Spain? Spain? Neil deGrasse Tyson's stopping time for the Mars bit.

I'm Elmer Fudd. I'm the Elmer Fudd of sexual assault. What does that even mean? I don't know. We got to unpack it. I like it. I'm the Elmer Fud of sexual assault. What is it? He hunts rabbits.

He hunts wabits. He hunts. So he hunts. He, I might take a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I guess he always loses. Yeah, he always loses. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, what is he?

This is Johnny Bravo. Yeah, I guess so. I guess so. Yeah, there you go. That's, wow. That's why and so not okay. I mean, it's, I mean, it's not inaccurate, though. It's funny, I guess.

It's not, it's not that it's funny. That's what makes you funny. That's pretty good. I don't think true things are funny, actually. I think something's in a true. I think the phrase is funny because it's true is largely not real. I'm harming. rabbits. I'm a harming. He just admits to like, harming is the primary activity. Yeah.

That's what he just wants. He's not, he's not trying to get food. I'm not trying to get food. I'm not even doing it for sport. He's just shooting up and walking away. I love the feeling of, um, um, ensnaring and other thinking and feeling organism in a world of hurt. I'm sodomizing rabbits, bugs. I'm sodomizing rabbits. Get out, bug. You don't want any. That'd be the cool of the next one. He flips it. He flips it. I flip it. I flip it. on bugs now because blugs raped him and then he rapes bugs back. I'm whipping this bunny's co-in open. I'm telling this buddy wide open. Texas Red. Texas Red. Delta Gamma. Big Gay Beetles sucking beetle for the taste. Looking like a double wide surprise. Looking like a double wide surprise. God dang. I love

that they canonized it technically. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Copyright claimed it. So insane. Shout out to me, Canyon. Literally fed this toddler last week Why's it still crying? Squimp his bugs Clamule Esquire the third Imagine RFK either giving or receiving back shots No

Whoa Oh it's so good It's too big Stop I'm gonna break Superman me Put the shit on my back Superman me now

Wow You sir Guildmaster Beatles Beetleist Beetle girl Colin Moriardi Colin Moriardi RFK Jr. Turning into

Mr. Freeze to keep his ice cream cold. What does that mean? What does that reference to? Because Mr. Freeze keeps his wife alive by keeping her frozen so she can overcome this disease. No, I understand. But like, why is, is there something with ice cream? There must have been. I just don't remember. Yeah. Kingstein sending one, Kingstein, sending one billion dollars to Israel. That's insane. That's insane. Gay Saul Goodman is slipping gay. Two rats in a trench throughout San Porter bitches.

I have Tim Allen trapped in my septic tank. Uh-huh. Got me out of here. He did not yet. He didn't die yet. He's dead in spirit. He's a stupid fucking show where he's like, I'm conservative.

Oh, conservative. Everything as well. Oh, yeah, last man standing. Is that what it's called? Yeah, something like that, which of course, right? So, inherently like a victim. It's like, what are the other shows like that? Wasn't there like a coach that?

The Daily Wire made a show like that. I don't know. Some blacks die now or something. I don't know. Blacks die soon. I don't know. What's a good name for a conservative sitcom? Yeah, there's that.

But we should brainstorm conservative sitcom. That should be our next stuff. That's a great idea. We all go home and make three. Where's your board? Oh, I sold it. From math. You sold it for...

You would get no meth for that. I got a lot. They love writing shit down, man. That's insane. That's insane. That's so stupid. That's a great. Good idea, though. Somebody write it down.

I guess I'll put it in my... No, we won't. No, he won't. We'll remember, I promise. Chris, the kind of... What was it? What was it already? I already... No, I swear to God. I don't know. Daily Wire showed... Okay, showtos. You should have kept forgetting.

Chris, the kind of en noir. What is that? Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,

whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.

Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2020. will build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.

To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight,

and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. All right, I guess, N-word, I guess. To install former nude mods, I would never do that. Former Nude, dude, that's crazy. You've gone too far, man.

Probably more than any of us. It would be funny as fuck. I don't mod my games. I would not. That's disgusting. I don't even do, I don't even really mod my games to make like performance better. Like I just know. That's crazy, man.

I would kill myself. Sometimes, like, I mean, my 1060 couldn't run it. But when I put a 8K fucking textures on Skyroom and then I go by a waterfall and it was like one frame per second. It was so fucked. But it looks beautiful. Yeah. I bet the still. I just looked wonderful.

That slideshow of Skyrim looked really great. did it really did I would rather kill myself If I ever got an erection from a former I would take my own life I mean Yeah it's you should Yeah that's a good idea

Berserbeetles big bouncy backside Reckles Rhinocerino The Sloker 2 Yisoderma Holocaust Denier I hardly know her Fresh and Fittler Nice I hate that guy

He posts funny shit on On Twitter No he doesn't No he doesn't It's funny But only because it's just a racist It's just racist It's just racist.

It's not funny. It's not funny if they're racist because then it's just like it's not, they're not doing the joke. What makes it funny is that it's absurd. It's absurd. Being a terrible human being can be funny like a couple of times.

That's true. He just keeps doing it. I'm like, that's not funny. Yeah. You know? I think there's a reason we don't get, I think there's a reason why, despite a lot of the shit that we say,

we don't get nearly as much flack for saying it as other people. would and it's because people understand where we are. I mean, they understand where you are. I mean it. I mean it. Every time as it's a terrible, I fucking in my spirit. It's whatever. Immediately is like, oh, I'm fresh and fit. Although I will say, I'll be, I'll be fit. Don't call me fresh. How funny is this, by the way, Derek, this whole, um, this Gavin Newsom Twitter thing. Oh, people are getting mad at them? Well, people getting mad at them, but like, is

it's so funny now. And by funny, I mean, enraging. That, uh, it's like, suddenly it's like, oh wow, yeah, I love that somebody on the left is being like mean and like abrasive and like, not caring if it's like, you know, if he's like saying mean shit, like when he told that guy in the wheelchair that he's rolling over for Trump or whatever.

Yeah. I'm like, that's not. It's like, this is the kind of thing we need. And it's like, oh yeah? No, yeah. I had this same thing with my mom earlier where she was like, man, really showing some back one. I'm like,

you know, welcome to the fucking club. You fucking dumb motherfuckers. I want a written apology. That's your mom is crazy. I didn't say it. I want a written apology from fucking all of you. Every single motherfucker.

I want it from fucking, I don't know who the people are. They're irrelevant now. Yeah. Whoever thought. Hey, Kevin Logan send me a. You remember him?

I forgot about it. I forgot about Kevin Logan. He just snucked back into my brain. Kevin Logan, I'll take that apology and notarized. Who's that Australian guy, right? I don't know. Maybe. I think he was Australian, like this blonde Australian dude that sucked, of course.

I want an apology from all you people. I want one. What's the one that would work with, Nita Sarkisian? He had like sad eyes. And he makes Star Trek stuff now. Oh, no, sorry. There's two different people. John McIntosh is one of them.

Sorry, the guy that I'm talking about didn't work with in the Starkeesian. He wore the hat. He used to make a secular. content and he makes Star Trek stuff now. Oh, I know who you're talking about. I don't remember the name. I can't remember his name. He was so, like, iconic in that space. Yeah, but I'll take, I'll take, you know, I'll, I'll give

you guys my PO box. You can write me a nice letter for being a trailblazer for you fucking idiots. And I'll accept it. I'll only, I want a really fancy the, though, at the beginning. Like in SpongeBob, when he starts the essay, I want the fanciest fucking first letter you could possibly make. Yeah. And then

we'll be okay. I really don't like Gavin I mean, he sucks. He's fucking, he's, he is, he's, he's an evil villain. He's actually, he slicks his hair back like the villain. Yeah, he literally is a villain. Yeah, and I was like, oh, can you not be so fucking obvious, please? But the thing about it is like now, it's like, this is, this is now just Pokemon with villains. Yeah.

I was like, all right, this is our villain, you know? Well, I'll take it. I'll take it. Exactly that. I'll take that. And I told my mom that when I was talking to her, I will take this bullshit versus them not doing anything. Right.

Yeah, I'd rather have a fucking Silicon Valley piece of shit than literal psychopath, billionaire. Openly talking about gerrymandering and stuff like that. Yes, because obviously everybody would rather not have that. But since these guys have been cheating for fucking ever, right. Unfortunately. Finally, you guys are just openly matching, trying to match them. How long about how literal guys.

Because he's like, he's making fun of how like sensitive they are. He's like going like, what are you? You know? About like the people being sensitive with the, like how many times. How many, how long ago did I say on this? show. Like Bernie Sanders would have won if he just called Trump a fat retard. Yes.

Like completely we've, we've, like, if Bernie Sanders said the N-word and like, I'm from Brooklyn, nigger. Like, it's over.

It's over. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it in the bag. The biggest problem Bernie had for me is that this is the problem, right? I think Bernie Sanders. What? Nigger.

He's holding up a sign. I think, I think Bernie Sanders lost it because he didn't fucking black people just didn't fucking ride with him, unfortunately. He just didn't ride with him. And it's like his actions. Well, well, the black, King Black. King Black didn't. King Black didn't bless him.

But my head, my head imagines King Bach or King Batch or whatever his name. Oh, fuck that guy. Yeah. But no, like, he's like a hair tuning cooning himself. But Obama fucked him over. Obama fucked him over because of that. I think that that played a role in that. The big problem is that like. Thanks. Thanks, Obama literally. Like, actually. And I was like, oh, the Democrats need some backbone. I'm like, oh. Oh. Apology. Yeah, you fucking bitch.

Drink your fucking Flint water now, bitch. The big problem, it's like, where Zoron? Oh, delicious. Hand me to cure. Hand me the cure now. Hey me to cure. That nigga was playing basketball when he fucking visit Flint and he was draining some threes. But the PR stunt, oh my God.

That was like the word. That was when I discovered no name. No name was one of the only few people was like, fuck this war criminal. I was like, yo, thank you. There was also that scene

that they made him drink the water. Yeah. And he was like, yeah. You know what I'm doing? You know what I'm talking about? No. Sure.

Yeah. It was like a profile shot. It was really weird. It was like they made him drink the water. And he dragged it and then like there were holes in his neck and it just all came out. Seal me up. Seal me up. Quick.

If I saw. He poked holes in his own throat. So then he wouldn't have to drink. He does a literal. Coming up. Blupe. Oh my God. I can't fuck it.

The audacity. To fucking do that when Flint's water was so fucked. Flint water is still fucked. It's been 12 years? It's still fucked. It's been about 39 years. It feels like, realistically, it probably has been 14 years. Yeah, honestly.

We probably only learned about it around then. Really. Nobody gives a shit. It's really fucking sad, man. It's like, because I think, I think Bernie could have won if he would have been more. I think Bernie Sanders. He's just too nice. He's too nice of a guy.

Well, no, I think the problem Brinson has is that he attacks it from the logistical place instead of from the interpersonal place. You have to go from the interpersonal place. I think, unfortunately, we've proven now you have to do that. I don't think that would have been a problem if more people would have just got it. Because you do need a logistical guy. No, you do. Because that's ultimately what pulls in a lot of people, like, or at least rational people, right? But then, like, you do also need.

Interpersonal people, like, you know, a guy who's going to. Rational people now understand. that the only thing that's going to work is to pull in stupid people. The idiots, yeah. And to pull in the stupid people, you've got to lie. You just got to lie. That's the thing that was so, I was so, even with how horrible performance Kamala did, I thought there's enough reasonable people that are going to understand.

We're completely wrong. She's a woman. She should have, she should have just lied. Like, she was trying to talk about tax breaks for the, what the fuck? Why are you even saying that? Why are you, that? Why are you, that whole thing was fucked from the beginning because she's a part of the current administration. Three Doritos to everybody.

Just like stupid. shit like that would literally fucking do better than what she was doing. That's true. Yeah. She was just fucked from the beginning though because she was associated with the current like it. And then she shot herself on the foot by saying nothing was going to fucking change but she went on the view. That was crazy. You're going to be different than Biden. I'm like, why are you

running then? You don't want Biden. Not like people were like, oh, a Biden's so fucking dope. I'm so bummed that he can't run. So I need another Biden. Like, no one said that. Why would you fucking say that? Derek, for me. Don't you dare criticize. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.

I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambatta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing. Whether it's coming up with new algorithms,

coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines.

Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point where, when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.

How far are we from that point with quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store.

wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, ORAIDA, silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy

savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Your own party. That's true. Vote Wu, no matter who. That's not really your party anymore. Except if it's mom dying, then don't vote no matter who. I can vote for that

Democratic socialist terrorist terrorist piece of shit. I think the Zionist racist or whatever. I had the science is. The big problem is that one we're not the most successful legislation we ever had. I don't know. We're not Democrats first and foremost is the biggest problem. We're not. No, we're just not. We're just not. We're just not. We're if anything more radicals than anything. If if if they're the truth. You unfortunately just that's that's the least shit side. You got you got to go Over there, yeah. Yeah. But the thing is that I think Zoron is winning where Bernie didn't because Zoran is one young.

Well, Zoran's young and he's actually being a bastard. No, he's saying this. He's not supporting Israel. He's not stepping back. Well, that too. Do you see that video of him where he's like, he does this thing that says like that Kendrick at the Super Bowl almost where he was talking about like he ran that ad about how like Cuomo is connected to Epstein? Do you see that? And he's like, oh, and who is this guy that's on?

on Cuomo's list and the camera zoos over to Jeffrey Epstein. It's like, it's like that hey Drake I hear you're like, I'm young when he's up the smiling. I was just like, yes, please. First of all, yeah, come on. Why is that not the main thing? The main thing. I mean, we know.

We know. And then he can do that because he's from objectively outside the party. Right. So he doesn't lose anything by doing that. He's like, I can say this guy is likely a pedophile because he's like a pedophile. That's the thing. That's the thing. That's why he tried to pretend like he was outside.

That's why he kept talking about, oh, we're going to bring the list. We're going to do this. JD Vance, say, we're going to do this first thing we're going to do all this shit. Yeah, but they're obviously a part of the fucking system. So as soon as they got in, oh, nothing happened. And it's like, guys, really, even if Zoran can't do everything that he's saying, I don't care. He's going to be better than fucking Cuomo by a extremely large market. Well, the thing is that the shit they're talking about the whole rent control thing, right?

Cuomo did the opposite. So you can do that. And people are like, you know, that's impossible. I'm like, well, he did a rent or the universal rate increase. You can do a rent freeze. It's happened. Yeah. And everybody's like, no, no.

And I'm like, are you from the state? People aren't. Are you from? Do you not know how things work? The people are saying no, or listening to the wrong people. Yeah. And they're also just operating on just like,

they're not here with us. They're in like 2000. They're in like 1996 or something. You know what I mean? We're just like, it's impossible. The city won't function. It's like,

the city will thrive. I was like, okay. If you control the rent, literally how do you, how do people that are in the lowest lows and accelerate through life? They get it. Consistence to be able to facilitate better lives.

It's like it's not even it's not even a that's the city of that shit happening literally To me it's not even a matter of whether or not it works now. To me the the the bigger question is just like listen what's happening what's what's going on now isn't working Just do something just do anything try it do do do do just go it. Do do just go what? Tell you what? If you think it'll backfire tremendously you know what vote it in and and prove yourself right? You know what I mean? That way like no if it's If it goes poorly, then, like, no one will take it seriously ever again. But I don't want to vote it in, Chris, if I voted in, right? I won't make money from these foreign companies and foreign assets.

If it goes in and then everybody loves it, actually, then we'll never win again. Again, because everybody will just want that forever. Or it'll have to change our shitty. Or change our shitty ways to adapt to what people want. That's literally what happened with FDR, by the way. They're just like, he will trounce us forever if we don't put term limits. That is literally like quite literally. So whatever.

Because every single social problem they brought up to him, he was like, yeah, let's try to fix it. Yeah, it's actually fixed that actually. Except for the, except for intermany caps. You can't have a perfect record, I guess. You can't have a, hey, look, they were scary. We couldn't tell who was who, all right? I couldn't tell if they were asleep or not. That's crazy.

They're dream walker. That's so crazy. Fucking President Hot Wheels couldn't fucking tell if they were a dreamwalker or not. I mean, hey man, he, you know, you. He was getting on. He had strong arms, bro. Arm wrestling, I dare you. That motherfucker was...

I would never arm wrestle. No way. Rip your fucking arm out to suck it. FDR is the last person. He walked around like this. Fucking, what is it? He put his feet fucking forward and then he would just walk like... A tank from fucking, what you call it from Left for Dead.

Oh my God. I forgot that they were like that. Yeah. I'm not doing that. You heard about the new deal, right? You heard about those deals, right? It is a new deal right. Anyway, fresh and filler.

He grabs a dime. He grabs cold squeeze. in the diamond, they squeezed into a baby. It's into you. Yeah, why would you... Gonna, gonna make this shoulder baby bite the digital curb. The Goon Moon Domo Nation.

The Berenstain Bears was never a Mandela effect. It's just, it really just means people never knew how to fucking read. I remember seeing as Berensting Bears, that's because I was a little when I heard it. Well, when you're little and you're learning to read, you associate things with things that you've read before, and there's no word like Berenstain.

Yeah. There's no, there's no, everything's, Everything's more like E-I-N, especially in New York. You're seeing a lot of Steens. So you're just going to assume it's Berenstein. Berenstein bears are fine the way through. King ass Rippers, arch-nemesis, queen pussy queaver. My girlfriend hates my bryl shirt and beats me for wearing it.

You should keep wearing it. That's good. You should get a hoodie, in fact. Let her beat you until you find that there's no way to get out of it. Then you strike her back. That's crazy. I'm going to burn this hoodie onto my skin. I like that.

That's what I'm not waiting. Chavna is innocent and Hasick Freedom, round-eyed Asians showing uncontacted tribes, AI-generated beasts to fuck with them. That's crazy. This is out there. That's so fucked up. That's actually really fucked.

Because they'll really be afraid of it. Yeah, yeah. I wonder what it's like to be in a world that wasn't tainted by Christianity. So you had like other wondrous things to believe in? Oh, well, I mean, probably not great. It's probably scary in its own right, but like probably also wonderful in its own right too, you know?

I mean, that's everything, though, kind of. You know what I mean? I guess. But, like, you know, it's like, because like, oh, I worship the sun. The sun goes every day and I'm happy I see the sun. Thank goodness for the sun. I love, when, like, the crops come in. I'm like, yay, we prayed to the seasons and the seasons came.

But then when it doesn't, it really sucks. It's like, dang, they're mad at us. Get the strongest warrior. We got to kill him to make the sky happy again. I can, uh, there's a magic to them, you know. I can at least respect the old tribes. worshiping the sun because at least the sun's real and you know you could see it

and it actually has material effects on everything around it. No man, so does Jesus Christ whatever. There's an actual PDF file on the Patreon its username is AOC drinking Bernie's Come. He's in every comment section defending Trump. Wait, what? Is that real? There's an actual PDF file on the Patreon. His username is

AOC drinking Bernie's Come in every I don't think I've seen that name. I pay to see that though. Now is he calling him a PDF file because he's purely just defending Trump because Trump's a pedophile? Or is he actually a pedophile? Or has he actually been saying some shit? I don't know.

Let's put it this way. If somebody's listening and that's from the Patreon, that's a patron, and if that person is saying some really fucked up shit, like, let us know, I will deal with it immediately. Yeah. With the hurry up. Yeah. The issue is though people change their names all the time. That is also true.

Yeah, but okay. You can see their name. If there's a comment that is saying something crazy, just pointed out. regardless of who that name is they got to fucking go yeah send DM us directly on Twitter yeah that needs to be preferably with a screenshot of like what it is

where the threat is but if they're just purely talking shit and trolling I don't know I don't know I'd prefer not to encourage it but like of course I don't know we'll see because this is the reason why we don't really engage with the discord either

it's just like it's just the try hard so yeah I don't want that thing wrong I can be I'm still here. It makes me sad. I just don't know how to get rid of it on. I don't know how to do it. I can do it to hurry upness. I'm just saying,

you guys can give me to a going on. It hasn't been a perk for us. I'll give everybody a fucking goodbye tour. I'll be like, hey, we're getting rid of this. We'll talk to you guys for like 25 minutes. And I have like a, no, I like when a dog is going out.

And it's like, hey, you sit by and I really just want to replace it with something. Yeah. I do too. Me too. I do too. I do. I do something that would very invoke it. But people are already there, unfortunately.

We'll figure it out. We gotta actually talk about it and then we'll come up with the thing and then that. I'll fucking... Intentionally raising several children so that they have their left and right switched up. Brandy Hutzel.

My BF came inside my boy pussy while I was boy out of the lady and I'm gonna be boy pregnant and now I don't want a boy abortion. What do I do? Blonde blue-eyed German man saying if you get your politics from streamers, YouTubers or commentators

like Sam Cedar or Ben Shapp. Just over. It just ends? I hope like... I really hope that when people like, uh, when they kind of both sides, like people that are actually, like the idea of like putting Sam Cedar with Benchapiro is hilarious. It's fucking wild. That's like it's like, you're trying, like it comes across like you're just trying too hard to be in the middle

place. Yeah. To make things equivalent when they're just not. It's just not. It's just not the same. It's not the same at all, especially somebody. One person made free derrickshovin.com or whatever the fuck. And then there's one other guy that's just trying to make things. better. Even to the degree by which those people get things wrong or like lie. I don't know. I'm sure it's happened. But like I don't, I, it's not.

I don't think it's not the same degree, dude. It's just a very different situation. There's getting like say there's. There's being incorrect. There's grifting who are liars. But I know like the people in the majority report aren't grifters even though say temple would call them grifters, but he's projecting. Yeah.

But like, They don't, anytime they get things wrong, they corrected the very next episode. Like, oh, shit, we got this wrong. Sorry, guys. Well, there's the difference between the grifter, they don't correct. They just steam forward. And that's the thing where I tell people, I'm like, hey, if you want to know the difference when you're watching them, when's the last time somebody on the right has corrected themselves from being wrong? Hello, hello.

I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta. we discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?

Yes. building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.

How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor,

Oira Ida, Silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. The answer is fucking never. They don't do it.

If you want to test that theory, go watch them. Now go watch the majority report and see how many times they get something wrong. And even sometimes in real time because they live stream, they correct themselves. Yeah. Very fucking different. It's very different. I don't care. The fucking moniker left and right shouldn't matter when they're talking about comparison.

Go watch and get and go see the fucking difference. Yeah, it's not. What's the name of the leader? They're not even the leader of the freaking, the wolf pack guy, whatever his name is. The Young Turks? Yeah. What's his name again? Junk Huger.

Chuck? What is it? Jenk. Jank. Jank. Like it's spelled C-E-N-K, but it's jank. Oh, really? I know he's muscle.

Right. That's probably why he's a Muslim country. I don't know, man. Yeah, I think so. Jenk Ugar? Yeah, yeah. He's Turkish. He's Turkish. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah, but him, hearing him like freaking talk to people and people being like, you're a grifter and it's like, I. Well, he, Chank is not a, he's not a great guy.

He's not a great example of somebody. He's kind of, first of all, he's a union buster. Yeah. He's, he's got, he's got, he's closer to that comparison, actually. Yeah. But even still, it's. It's not even... He's still a much better...

I mean, he was like... He might have even been... I don't know if he was directly involved than Justice Democrats. I think he was. Yeah, like, there are people that are actually trying to do stuff and improve lives

versus people just maximizing profits. It's very fucking different. You can tell who's maximizing profits. Who doesn't make that much money and who's backed by fucking billionaires? Like, quite frankly, I'm backed by oil tycoons and who's not. I'm not even going to lie, man.

I like, generally speaking, if you're able to... if you're able to just do the common sense thing and criticize Israel for what they're doing like that alone to me is just like okay well that's something right you know what I mean yeah yeah it's really funny

like Nick Fuentes is evil but he's a better person than Ben Shapiro is in my opinion yes because he's authentic he's a piece of shit you know what you're getting real you know what you're getting and you know what to filter for exactly like okay like I'm not gonna Nick Fuentes himself has no real opinion

No. He's like, I love this real. You think he gives a fuck about Derek Chauvin? Yeah. Like, are you, you think this guy,

when he first made- If Derek Chauvin came up to shake his hand, he'd be like, yeah, get this white person away from me. No, literally, he made a video when it first happened.

He's like, he clearly murdered him. Yeah, yeah. Like, you don't fucking be like, this was clearly murdered to being like, well, actually,

free him. Like, no, you don't do that. That is when you're just completely fake. And unfortunately, his audience and people that, like, you know, would say things like,

oh, use those same people. I'm like, you're not fucking paying attention to anything. I'm sorry. You're not even low information. You have no information. You wait for somebody to tell you how to think. Because you can't think those people that you can't mention Sam Cedar and Ben Shapiro in the same thing like the two sides of the same coin. You can't do it. Yeah. That just means you're not paying attention to shit. It's just it's an obsessive. It's an obsessive um it's an obsession over there's needing to be like this law of equivalence. Yeah. Like yeah. Oh, because this thing exists here. Yeah. like everything's bound the universe is balanced like brother the universe isn't balanced at all there's no

chaos there's there's no balance to any of this yeah so it's insane that's why it's looking in your fridge and being like oh it's all equivalent it's like nigger we have leap years and shit because the days aren't balanced you know what i mean yeah there isn't a perfect time there's no there's no balance like where we exist there's no balance there shouldn't and there doesn't have to exactly be a balance no you know just like why like oh the people like oh men and women. They're completely different. I'm like, okay, nigga, why do men have nipples? You fucking dumb bitch. Why because you have nipples because we were all the same. Yes. There's a difference between like the idea of like, oh, there's like a balance in

like a fundamental. Like in the sense of like, in the sense of like, okay, uh, this side gets things right. This guy's this side gets things right. This guy's, you know, both sides get things right and wrong. Yeah. Sure. Of course. Yeah. The percentage of the time is not equivalent.

Yes. But I would say that that's true generally. Yeah. Like there's right and wrong on every side. Yes. That's the balance. How often that actually manifests itself is not inherently like a 50. That's not how that works at all.

Right. I think there's balance in concept. There's not balance in action activity. Right. Well, they're manifestation of, they want there to be balanced in like with the concept. They want it to be balanced in that way to make

things easier digestible and to be like when to also feel better that I chose this side because this side has just as much bad. And like to me it's it's like guys, it's not about the side. It's if you are somebody who's trying to find out what is real, which true, unfortunately for you, the truth aligns with the left more because they have less of an incentive to grift because you can't make nearly as much money. Yeah. Being a fucking progressive.

That is literally. You know, if you are an oil tycoon, you, and a progressive, they don't mesh. Yeah, I can tell you, I can tell you, I can tell you, why would. I can tell you firsthand. Like, I was approached with right earring money and I turned down. I've never been approached with left wing money. No, I've never had. The only left week money that we've been approached with is the Patreon, I guess, is the people

who support us. Fundamentally. Listener funded people that actually enjoy the content. That's fucking great. But no, there is no big company. Turning Point USA has not hit us up. Uh, fucking Liberty University hit me up. Try to give me like fucking 10 grand or whatever.

to speak at liberty can you imagine liberty liberty university fucking churchy ass fucking christian shit i think i think i think i think i think i think i think hunter might have did a hunter avalon because i knew him at that time oh yeah yeah and that was like when he was still i saw the cracks though he was starting to be like this shit like not like an authentic he was like what the fuck am i doing the first thing was being honest with his audience and be like i'm actually i don't think i can call myself christian anymore yeah and then he explained and there was a lot of people that were mad there's other people that respected it but i'm like if he was a grifter, he would never fucking say that.

That is the thing. Right. But then also, too, it's like, you have to be real, too. It'd be like, I remember when I got the, I think I told you about it, right? When they asked me to, like, speak at the school and I'm like, I'm not, like, who do you think I am? Yeah. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.

At IBM research, what we always do, is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM

because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature.

Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Kondo? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 31st.

Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, Oiraida, Silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meats, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Yeah. This is so unsurious. You can't have me speaking at a school. No. That's a complete completely undermined.

I didn't get invited. Especially for the reason that you're asking me to do it. If you want to ask, if you want to bring me up as like, you know, you know, talking about like YouTube and stuff, okay. I'm somewhat of an expert on that. I guess especially at that time. Sure. Yeah. But like to be like a voice in politics is insane. You're out of your mind to believe this. You remember MythCon? They didn't invite me back because how if you...

Oh, you didn't give a shit about the debate, right? If you fucking want... I'm gonna see if I can find like a screenshot. I don't know the debates up. I don't even know if that channel exists anymore than MythCon stuff. Oh, I don't know. But like, when I saw myself back,

I was like, wow, I wasn't doing that on purpose. I was just so uninterested. I was slouched in my chair with my head the entire time like this. I could barely give a shit because it was so stupid. I was there to hang out with people that I enjoy it. I was cool.

I get to meet some people. I should have went. I didn't go. For that reason alone, it was fun. I met like, there were some people that, uh,

the guy in EuroTrip that was like the twin brother was there. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing here? Oh, that's so weird. I was like, you look very familiar. And it was,

he was jack though. But other than that, because he was the guy that had the camera if you remember it. Oh, that's so funny from Eurotrip. Yeah. He was from me. He was just there.

And he was like in the VIP section. I should have went. I didn't go because I got kicked off the plane. Oh, right. Something happened, right? Yeah, yeah. I don't even remember the specifics of it, but I remember I got, yeah, because I made the bomb thread or something, right? No, yeah, that's what it was. There was a podcast at Vid-Car. Are you on a list? Are you a list now or no? No, no, I got, so I got on the plane and then I heard that like the pilot wasn't there or something. This is how I remember. The details are kind of missing.

But I remember getting on the plane and the doors weren't shut yet necessarily. It was a very weird situation. It was like one of those big planes with like the middle row. And I was like, oh, I've never been on one of these. And I remember sitting down and being like the pilot was like, oh, the pilot's not feeling well. So we're waiting for a replacement pilot. and it was taking forever and then my layover was 15 minutes so I was like,

I've already missed my layover. And I was just like, cracking jokes to the person next to me is like, what do you mean? The pilot's sick. Just turn the fucking autopilot on and fly the damn plane. And I think like the steward has overheard me and didn't appreciate it

that I was making fun of the pilot for being sick. That's crazy. And I went up, well, I went up to the lady outside because the door was still open because they were waiting for the pilot so I could leave the plane.

And I was talking, I was talking to the lady at the desk and I was like, listen, I've already missed my connection flight. Is that going to be like remedy? I've never done this, but I don't take connection flights for this exact reason. And I made an exception for it for today.

And of course this happens. So like, what are like, what do I do when I get there? I'm already kind of like coming in late. I think I was landing like, I think at nine that night. So like I would have basically gone off the plane

and come to that party or whatever. Yeah. And then they were telling me it's like, I'm, I don't remember. what they told me, but it was frustrating. And I was like, all right, I guess I'll figure it out. And then I went, I went back onto the plane and then they wouldn't let me back on.

That's crazy. Yeah, it seems, it's insane. Yeah. I can only assume that it's because I, I said something about the pilot that the, that the steward is clearly heard. I did know that she clocked it and she didn't seem too happy about it. But I didn't break any rules. Like, people were leaving, people were going and getting food because it was taking forever

for this pilot. And I also was like, where's the other pipe? We're in an airport. how was it taking this long to find another pilot it's insane i mean it might have been i don't fucking know i don't know i have no idea how that shit works i was half joking i was just trying to like yeah you were just fucking tugging cheek but obviously a little annoyed yeah but i can't do that if if anyone gets mad at that like i dude she's fucking she was fucking the pilot maybe she was like hey hey that's my guy came all over himself and now he used to go home

and clean himself he'll make fun of it that's the only reason i can imagine that i got Fly with cum on, you asshole. Yeah, I've done it before. You see Dave Mustang be like, faggat down. Dude, can you imagine somebody? You have, you know, the three seats. Somebody sits next to you.

It is covered in. I would freak the fuck out. Have you seen those videos? I'd freak to shit. Have you seen those videos? I'm going to Costa Rica next month. I'd freak the fucking fool of me. I was like, oh my God, he's covered in come.

Oh my God, I'm going to kill myself. Have you seen those videos of the people do it? I don't know if it's a channel. I don't know if it's even a thing that they do recurringly. But like I saw this video this group of guys and they were doing that scene

from the social network from where like Andrew Garfield's when he flips out he's like and you're, I left him at the cleaners along with like fuck you flip flops

you pretentious douche bag they were doing that scene but the premise was like the social network parentheses but wet and they just did the scene, they played it straight, but they were just all dripping. The whole time

they were just like, gargling. And they were playing it straight. I was like, this is a this is such a stupid idea that I can't believe I hadn't, I haven't thought of it. I like that. It's too stupid. Just play a real scene from a movie, just act it. But just saturate your water.

I like that. Like you do, you do the scene from, from, you do like really intense monologue. Struggling to remember a single movie. I'm trying to remember a perfect scene for it. You do the entire shootout. You do the entire shoot-offs You're going to be glorious bastards in a basement.

Yeah. But everybody's terrified. Everybody's really tired. I like that. Everybody's pretty sleepy. He was like, I know you're an American. And you're like, no. Yeah.

You can hear it. It was just raining down. It's fucking ridiculous. They're just, The fact that they're just sobbing the entire time and it's certain It's fucking ridiculous It's such a good idea

It's so low effort and dumb Perfect I like original bullshit like that Yeah That's what YouTube was Yeah yeah So I appreciate it There's some channels still doing some good stuff

But I get why it's not as probably You need like a kind of a group of people You know 100% Yeah Otherwise you're just not gonna be motivated to do it Aladdin 4 Jafar may need glasses Wasn't that a family guy thing

I vaguely remember this I don't know sure I don't remember He's at the doctor's office And they're doing the thing They're doing like the thing With the big thing And they're like trying different lenses

And he's like What is this? He's like He's fucking stupid They have a guy so damn dumb Gotham's biggest diva Bruce Wayne Trump's conically small penis

And Swin's huge tooth gap Thugzilla powering up With 80,000 gallons of malt GTA 4 swing set glitch Look up Shaggy's bizarre adventure On YouTube but right

Chris me it's loading up up the second all right gay boy at be like what was he going to say um

my husband yeah my husband my husband my husband that's so stupid that sucks

that sucks I appreciate it though it's good it's good but it sucks Jack WFM for what is a gay for what is a gay

What is he gay If not If not for him gay Then he Gay And he parenthesesed it My Way by Gay Gay Natra

His name's Gay Gay Natra This is the worst thing I've ever fucking read It doesn't even follow this syllable Structure I needed my gay my gay I gotta say man

I don't know man that music hits sometimes Sometimes it's like weirdly motivating It's a set piece It is I love that I love that shit It's like a You ever just have like a walk

With like some main character music Yeah No yeah You know what I mean You're like yeah This is a scene From something I was meeting

We were talking about it You were like Who's the greatest R&B artists you could think of and I was like Because there's R&B and there's Rhythm and blues I can say them different things They're technically the same thing

By technicality are the same thing But I think there's errors of them Where I would consider certain music more R&B than Rhythm and blues Like I think Mary J. Blige is like the cut off between the two What it became like modern R&B And previous R&B Did you hear this from somebody or do you make this up?

This is my own theory I know that the same thing right I know effectively they're categorized the same thing We don't have time to break that down dude But I think, but I think, but I think, I watched you dissociate as you were hearing it. I have to, I need to hear your difference,

but we don't have time to break it down right now. I'm gonna catch my train at 3 p.m. We can't. We still have time. We still, it only takes me like less than 10 minutes to get to the scene. All I got to say is that, oh now,

yeah, with the electric scooter. Unfortunately, yes, it looks cool as fuck. Dude, it's fun. But, uh, I would, I all I know, I was like, unfortunately. Yeah, 150.

That's pretty cool. I might grab one. Dude, it's sick. R. Kelly. I think I'd make a grocery run real fucking quick. You get on and get off of it pretty much Well, I mean like specifically Okay, nice

Because like Trader Joe's like is I don't I wouldn't need it But like right The other place that I go is like It's like slightly further And the parking lot takes up like a mile It feels like And lugging that shit is really

Yeah That's probably the part of it's like the short distance It's like the the It's like 270 pounds limit or something For the cheap ass one that I got Oh it's pretty good So it works really well Like there's ones that are a lot strong

I might wait too much for that actually Oh yeah I'm sure I forgot that you're almost 300 pounds I forgot about it's 99 this morning Your fucking bones is extremely dense What if I was to Tungsten bones Well that would make sense

Tungsten skeleton you'd be mad heavy You'd be crazy but you'd also be like Because your skeleton's pretty heavy as is right It should be Relative to like what it is It's probably a decent amount of your weight Yeah right it's gotta be I assumeing

I think those aren't that heavy really I feel like all of your bones together. The last human head I held on to didn't feel that heavy. It's crazy. It's crazy. I don't know what to make of that. Like the last human's head I grabbed up. Yeah, that you had?

Was the human head like wet? Was it like new? It was inside of a human a few minutes prior. Okay. So recently detached, nice and wet. Yeah. Dripping. And it didn't feel that heavy.

The human wasn't that heavy either. Okay. Well, we're going to move on. It was a grown one too. Imagine a lion king. but like what is it these are getting crazy

imagine a lion king like a rat king but lions that's fucking awesome that's terrifying that's so many just a fucking ball of tangled lions there's so many of them it's just an angry shape

the fact like how did they get this way They're so big I do you put it Yeah I love that's like Tangling rice Oh that's great

A clump of rice Only grains though No moisture Tying a knot with a single grain of rice Go If you fail we kill you Guys

Ken Levine is a producer For the first season of cheers Superman joined ice Big meaties thanks Canola Joe Joe's bloated rotting corpse

Sween jerking off On the streets of New York True story. Gay. Oh, no. What happened? This isn't real.

Jake Paul's fighting fucking tank? Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI

to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to that. Pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind it.

If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive, Yeah. Wow. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things.

To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save. It's time for cyber deals. put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select.

Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. No. Like from Left for Dead? Yes. Absolutely. official Netflix just announced that he's fighting.

Didn't Jake just lose the fight? I don't remember the last time he fought. He lost him. Yeah, he's going to tell us the real answer. Hasbalah. Hasbalah kills him in the rain. Doc his lower jaw of his badmills. I'm surprised that it doesn't happen more.

Huh? What's I thought? Like, people just getting their jaws knocked off. Because that's a lot of pressure to do that. It's hard. It's hard, but I've seen it in street fights I've seen it be unhinged But not like off

I've seen I've seen I've seen Kixland that like the jaw like The skin ripped and the jaw was hanging Yeah and I was like Holy shit I've never seen that in my life That's crazy It's just it's it's it's it's fights with people

Tank is a fucking baby compared to Jake Paul What fuck even is that? I've never even heard of that guy Tank Davis Devonte Davis He's really tons a box but he should not be fighting Jake Paul. At all. At all.

Like, not even... Tank is like 145 pounds. It's... It doesn't make. Jake was pushing three. Tank doesn't even do this. He's fucking... Just go.

Get off my screen. Is that real? The official Netflix dropped it. Seems really stupid to participate in a fucking boxing match. That is that uneven. Yeah. I... It doesn't...

I don't... I don't get it. I really don't. I'm sorry. It took me a second. I get it. I was waiting for the car. Will, will was bigger than you and he probably had like, genuine, like maybe 30, 40 pounds.

30, 40, probably got reach, but 30, 40 pounds on you, right? No, it wasn't that much. It wasn't that much. Yeah, but like, I'm reaching. That's a hundred and some change pounds. No, I, I'm, it's a, I'm joking. Because Jake in that fight with, uh, with Mike, first of all, was roided to shit. That's why he looked like that.

looked like that. He does not, that's not his natural He did fight. He did. He did He did. That was the last fight he had, wasn't it? I think he got beat up by somebody recently. Or he beat someone recently. If yeah, I just didn't, I didn't see it. I don't know anything about it. And knock you into the future. Wait, look. You're going to hit you right? You're not going to hit me. I mean, I'm going to D.A. I'm going to get back to my 90s foreman. I'm going to beat the death. I'm going to punch you.

I'm going to kill you. Everybody was like, oh my God. And I was like he's almost 60. Gay actor. Good luck, Jonathan. Oh, right. Mayweather and Jake Paul did. Not the other Paul fought. Because their sizes were extremely different. That's him. It's actually the real Kevin Spacey supports us. It's actually him. You can't tell me the profile picture.

You can't fake that. You can't fake an image. It's like what a boomer would think. That's what Trump thought. And the guy was like, that was doctored image. He was like, no, he wasn't. He has MS-13 written on his knuckles. I forgot.

He thought. And it's so clearly not. He couldn't tell that that was like, first of all, it was supposed to be an interpretation. this is what this means and drawn on with MSP and he thought no that's what it actually says it says MS-13

I'm like you can't be this fucking stupid man It's so clearly on a flat layer It doesn't follow the curvature It's like a different color ink Like whatever we all know Yeah I'm like People fuck with that guy All right cool

It is so disturbing Um that so many people are dumber than me and I know that I'm dumb. Like, I don't see, I don't, it's not dumb. I think you are, I think people, us around our average intel, I think it's average. It's just where you should be.

Maybe, yeah. I don't, I don't believe everybody should be, like, really brilliant. Right. Because that doesn't make sense. But just bare minimum. I think we're at the bar. We're like where you should just be. We're conscious enough to understand stuff.

You should be no lower than us. Yes. Dangerous. But like, the levels of the levels of, The levels of how many people, you forget. It was like watching, I was watching the, I started watching that Burn the Boats thing again of the elephant graveyard. Just because I was like, fuck it.

I haven't watched it one time. And then it was just showing like, oh, some of a Joe Rogan fans or whatever. And it was these country, he was just like joking, but these country bumpkin people. And I forget, I was like, there are so many people that are just like that. You forget about it. You forget that there's these people that are just isolated. The only thing they watch is fucking Fox News.

And they're just, you know, have access to no health care. They have no teeth. They're just, they're fucked. There's a lot of those people there. That they're so easy to just, oh yeah, they're my vote. These are my people.

These are my constituents. They have them. I don't have to worry about anything. They're never going to think about shit. And I forget that that's so many people. It's so many. Not that they're at the country bunkin level, but they're at the level of,

oh, they're going to vote for whatever the fucking television tells them to do or whatever YouTube tells them. They're not, they can't be pushed. There's no pushback. Right. Watching King of the Hill reminds me of that too Yeah Yeah

Because they do show that is Yeah It's all about that Oh when they were in Saudi Arabia or whatever And then like they had the choice To watch like Fox News Or CNN or MSNBC or something like that

And they're like you were watching Fucking he's like It was only on the commercial breaks I was watching CNN or something Yeah Only on the commercial breaks when Fox wasn't on Yeah I thought that was funny Yeah

I think the new season's pretty good actually I like that I've only watched like five episodes I never really smile In the few moments I was like that's genuinely it's like a good dad. The first episode

it was a little wonkyy. Yeah, you gotta reintroduce everything everything after that. It's been good. Yeah, it's pretty good. The only thing I think is missing is Luann. Oh yeah. Unfortunately.

Yeah. Because Britney Murphy got attacked. But she was gone. She got attacked? I don't know. I don't know how she died at all. I think it was an overdose or something. A bear overdose.

Yeah. A bear gave her drug to kill her. A bear's like take the drugs. No, I think a giant Xanax gave her a couple bears. Take the drugs. Giant Zanics. Just hopping around.

Bears. But no, it's pretty good. I never really watched King of the Hill. Because, like, when I was a kid, I was just like, this is boring. Oh. The older I got the more I liked that show. It was definitely the more, yeah. Same.

I liked the subtlety of it. When I was younger, it was like, when I want to just kind of like put something in the background, it was a perfect show. Yeah. I'm making my way through it now because I got. I got Hulu because I wanted to see the always sunny thing But there was like a Disney Plus thing

Yeah I guess So I have Disney Plus for a month I'm just like going through all the stuff that I don't normally have access to I've been watching alien earth I'm watching all the fucking alien impreddish shit again I'm trying to catch a problem I started watching the first alien The movie

Yeah first alien's good Because it's all in Hulu One and two are one and two are special man They're good The first two or the first The second was just hilarious Game over man Game over

Classic classic one It's like, dude. Who is that? Is that Bill Paxton? I think so. Who says that? Yeah, I think so.

Game over, man. Game over. I love that because, like, all they had to do was listen to her. That's it. Like, all they had to do is, like. Isn't that like everything, though? That is every, that's every, that's every, that's every, that's every horror thing. It's all the one person that's like, hey, you should do this and everybody's,

have you, uh, you got to see it. You got to see it. Quite good. Did you know that? Did you know that? No. It's insane. It's insane.

It's insane that the whitest kids you know guy Made fucking weapons And barbarian I haven't seen barbarian anything I haven't seen that either I haven't seen that's one of the funniest movies scenes I've seen in a long time It's the ending is crazy

It's hilarious It's hilarious in like a It's the saddest funny thing That isn't straight up Just like someone dying in real life It feels like a comedy to me It's like It's sad and it's not

It's not a comedy but there's moments in there They're like This is funnier than anything I've seen in like A comedy in a while It's meant it's Maybe the naked gun was funer because it was trying to be constantly.

Clearly, the guy... Oh, do you saw it? Yeah, I saw this weekend. Dude, the fucking windshield killed me. That was fucking great. The windshield gag with the fucking balloons and the bees. I was like, this is so stupid.

That happened to me, those fucking assholes to, like crossing the street with a new windshield. Perfectly spitz on there. That was good. I'll see that I'm moving on Thursday. I can't wait. Nice. Which one?

I think he's hot already. No, I saw weapons. No, but I thought, like, didn't, weren't you going with Ben and a minute? Oh, you didn't go. We didn't to see weapons. I'm going to see that. I'm going to see that. I'm surprised it's still in theaters, actually.

Yeah, there you go. Right. I just came out. It came out this month. I don't know. I just feel like things. Oh, was it this one? I just feel like, I give movies a month in theaters.

Like, you should take some month. Oh. I think it's more than a month technically. Probably. I don't know. I don't know. Whatever. It's not important.

Fuck you. Whatever. Who cares. Sorry I can't have a burrito. Sorry I can't I had a burrito. Willem to friend. Heath paying more for concessions than 4DX tickets. Gids, look up see I'm creating gas on YT leaked Sweeney vid.

I don't know what that means. I genuinely don't think Kingston has ever had sex. Ye who come spew with ropes. Benjamin Netanyahu hiring Kevin McAllister. crazy. Obama, when he met Michelle, be like, let me be queer. Reporting from the Anchorage, anti-Pooten and Trump rally, not going to lie, the vibe in Alaska is ominous right now.

Is the vibe in Alaska ever particularly nice outside, unless you're like, I've seen some probably serene, right? It's probably pretty nice, actually. I've seen some really beautiful shit over there. I want to go fishing in Alaska. It's actually the only thing I want to. That sounds fun. Yeah.

I probably wouldn't catch anything. But like, why is, I want to know why it's ominous. though. I heard I honestly didn't look too deeply into this. That is the big thing that did happen that we didn't talk about. It's mainly because I just don't know what the fuck did make. The Trump meeting in Alaska or whatever. Like I don't even know what to make of that really.

I know a little bit of it. It was fucking stupid. I don't know enough about that kind of thing. Red carpet shit. Oh yeah. Having our soldiers like just lay out a red carpet from Putin is fucking insane. Fucking insane. Oh yeah. If Obama did that it would be we He would have got killed. Exactly. He would have got killed. That's what I said. These people just take their orders.

They have no fucking. thoughts of their own. Yeah. That's why, like, he can get away with literally fucking everything. Fucking kids and being best friends

with the king pedal fuck. And it doesn't matter. So, yeah, you can roll out a red carpet for Putin. You can do that too. Yeah. Yeah, you can do whatever you want.

Roll the red carpet for fucking Jared Fogel at this point. Like, why not? They will fall in line. They will. If Jared Fogel is smart and he's paying any attention, he knows exactly how to play

this when he gets out of prison. Yes. Oh, yeah. It was just like that, that Sam, fuck, the, the,

the, the, guy. Sam Friedman Bakeman Freed? Sam Bakeman Free. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The fucking, the people were saying he was like a discount Ethan Klein is how he looked. Yeah. Because they like had a very similar, anyway. Anyway, yeah.

But yeah, yeah, so yeah, that's basically what happened. Like he was like, oh, I'm gonna come right now. The negotiation thing, right? Yeah, yeah. Mercury poisoning from eating out Mercury poisoning from eating out the Silver Surfer. Yeah. I like that.

That's good. It reminds you of what is it, Michael, Michael Douglas, who got, like, cancer because he couldn't stop eating out, Catherine Zeta Jones or something. Have it eating Catherine Zeta Jones out too much. And I got the, I got oral cancer.

Got oral cancer from pussy. That's real. I think that might be how I go. I'm on my way, on my way, then. Truthfully. I'm on my way, man. Zip tied a condom on my dick

so I can piss on the go. We don't do that. That is heinous. That's pretty cool. That's cool. That's what I meant. Yeah, yeah, that's what I meant too. Chris, what a halo video

or I saw you on the other timelines? If the best part of waking up is Fulgers in your cup, why wake up at all? It's a really good counterpoint. I want to go to one of their seminars and ask that question. It's a great question.

The seminar? The Fulger's just completely derailed. The assumption that that even happened. Yeah. Cardboard pie. I came in his gay eyes so hard. I made him M.Preg reel. Your necks.

Boys, niggly ziggly. Jordan Peterson's 10-minute rendition of the Joker baby monologue. Stupid. I'm the Joker baby. What is it to joke or be a baby? What is the Joker? Shit. Oh, man.

What is it to joke even? What's a laugh, if not dumb? I drink some water today. Kaysen's dad, bitch slapping a xenomorph. cheating on my wife for four for ten years of Prime 2009 LeBron Someone throws a sawfish Swinie me like once upon a time

Beep, boop, boop, boop, boop Beep. I'm the saw ones. Oh, the fucking sort of the silly one has the Bebebe boobab Saw spikes on it You ever see those fish? Yeah, it looks disgusting.

I hate the total clank or death. Tinskins go back to O. Esphrica. That's so stupid. So dumb. Goon devil The Man Without Come. Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, no, here he comes. Watch out, boy, he'll fuck your butt. Oh, here he comes. It's a man's penis. Nice. Aunt Flusi spreading her chitlin gash open. Jesus Christ. Whoa.

Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them. Pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example.

If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind it. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process,

because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertson. and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, ORAIDA, Silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic

event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. and gash open? I don't know. Search Peter Lorry Fish Battle. Adam ruins everything, but she's not Adam and she's not ruining anything. Microdosing Chris with one milliliter of heroin daily.

Smitchie the kid. Adam ruins everything versus Sheldon Cooper. Neygiger. Ar, Plainton, me boy, me cock. His unsucked, defag. My new D&D weapon, plus four bludgeoning hamster in a sock, reluctant Debrou

Debrouye. Debri, I don't even know what that is. You, there's microplastics in your balls. Fill your ass with come and let me come inside your ass. You are all I come for, all I come for in your ass. In other words, fuck me. Cream pying Rita Rapulsa until she comes undone. It's the name of the game, I guess.

Craig the Canadian, the power of the sun and the crack of my ass. I like it. It's your voice, Shawnee Dee, and Destiny 2, Edge of Face is a good expansion. I bet. I'm sure. I just have too much to do. Come shot gaming TM at Grock is this true? Imagine falling for literal CCP propaganda.

Well, hey man. It is what it is. Oh, is that Jordan Peterson? Yeah, it's true. Well, I don't know. Oh, wait, wait, no, no, no. Should it he said. I think it's us because we were talking about China, the other episode.

What do we say? I don't know, just we were saying that it was better. Oh, that it's improving, it's, uh, it's conditions. Yeah, I don't know anything about China. That's not propaganda. It's just real. Yeah, that is, that is literally. true. I don't think, uh, I have no doubt that there's like a ton of propaganda.

Like terrible shit. Oh, China's a fucking great place to live. Like, that's propaganda. Yeah, China's probably not a great place. The same that it's progressing is not propaganda. People misunderstand any compliment to China as a, as like an endorsement. Well, they have stupid prop. They have McCarthyism brain. Like, like, like, as if fucking something that, you know, like say like Russia, even if like, say, like even Ukraine, there's some, a lot of issues within it, especially Dombas or anything like that, but you can still say parts of Ukraine are progressing. The fuck does that mean? It's the same thing when you're into your...

It's like talking about the cars. Like, I'm sorry, but like, yeah, Japanese electric cars are really fucking cool. It's the same argument where it's like you say something about... Maybe they're built shitty. Like, I don't know. That could be true. Like, I have no idea. I'm not talking about from firsthand experience.

But I do know people who do... People who live there or who have been there who say like, no, they're actually pretty good. Yeah. And it's not propaganda to say... You insult fucking Israel and you're like, oh, you're a fuck. anti-European. Yeah, it's the same thing. Anti-Semi.

And it's like, well, no, I'm insulting this. You hate Jewish people. It's like, no. I'm perfectly aware that I'm perfectly aware that China disappears people. It's not a perfect government at all. Muslim internment camps.

Yeah. Like, what do we do? Like, it's like, I hate what people like, you talk about binary brain. It's that. It's defensiveness. Yeah. It's just like, no, it needs to be the balance.

It's like, it's not how it works. You can say nice things about, like say, Germany had some nice things during. it's horrific bullshit it was doing in Nazi Germany Yeah it was all good things actually And some people

And some people can't Some people can't handle that Back in full forth I swear to God They can't handle that Like six seven years Some should happen Some good should happen

But like Yeah Yeah it's crazy The US is bad It's got some good things China's pretty bad too It's got some pretty interesting things happening

I just I don't know what to tell you At this point It's called nuance Nigger It's called my taint Go smoke my taint or if you don't want to smoke anything you just walk around in China and breathe for two minutes

two minutes of deep breaths specifically in the in the metropolitan parts of China like the pollution there is actually fucking crazy my friend's dad came back China and India are like destroying the fucking environment like by heaps and bounds like it puts us to shame and that is

crazy yeah yeah They're also like several magnitudes bigger than us So like I mean Yes, it makes sense Of course Yes Enigma Kiwi genuinely would love to see the Sweeney cut of episode

Sweeney cut on episode 349 It's That episode's just lost It's a shame too because that was a pretty good one There's some pretty good stuff on that one Oh you never played Can you play your video of the guy on the train Do you still have it?

Because that was in that lost episode It was in that episode It was in that episode The guy on the train It's sounding all sensual That was the one thing That was the one thing I was excited to listen to again after we recorded. How unfortunate.

Yeah. Let's see. Let me make sure I still have it. I hope I didn't delete it. Oh, there it is. A third rate dualist with a four. So this is on a train. So yeah, I was coming back from, I was making my way, I was coming,

making my way to Union Station, right, from Burbank. Making my way. And this guy, here's the conductor. He sounds like Snape. He does. He does. He really is. It really is.

so crazy that that's real. I can't get over how crazy that is. You know, it's interesting, I haven't seen them since. Because, like, I recognize some of the conductors. He might be his last, that might be his last day. He was fucking around. Yeah, because I was like, oh, I wanted to, hmm. Third-rate duelist with a fourth-rate deck.

That's so crazy. I think the Kiwi genuine lives in a scene. Okay, we read that already. Patreon releasing an update that quickly reveals, that publicly reveals everyone's display name history. There's a cult that's helping a lobster molt from its shell to see how big they can get it. parentheses real.

Sweeney, I'm sorry I called your magic cards gay. Drip M.H. forcing the snark crew to play Delta Rune at gunpoint. Not going to happen. Insel Sebastian, who wants to fuck Ariel, but doesn't know if he has a penis or a vagina or if he lays eggs or what.

Jeffrey Epstein, you say. Nice. Yeah, I mean, he's miss odd. Yeah, no fucking doubt about it. No doubt about it. Obie won't you blow me? They think that's a conspiracy series, by the way. Isn't that crazy?

What? It's just true? Why is that so hard to believe? What theory? That Epstein was a massage. It's not even difficult to believe. Not only isn't difficult to believe, it's just like factually accurate. Yeah.

So Gabe, they called him slip in Jimmy. Fucking iPhone, fucking my iPhone with my perfectly USBC sized micro penis. Cremlin to Gremlin, Blood Eagle Sweeney for any minor inconvenience. Fable 4th is dead for me now. Harry wrecked him. Again, Edward Barrow off Rice Peak boondocks. Sween humor would be like, what if instead of being called Red Guards? they were called.

Nick guards. Yep. Yeah, he wrote that exact thing. Yep. Yeah, that'll me. Wage Slate 583. Courage of the dastardly dog, bashing, uses his head in with a ladle,

while Muriel silently two years. You think, you think Todd Howard, he thought about that? What? What? Yeah, of course. He thought about that.

Of course. He goes, we're not going to put that in, though. Probably in the files somewhere. Yeah. Like, if you're really crazy. You get a mind the fuck out of it. Right here.

Oh shit It was stuff like that in one of the Halo games It wasn't like races But it was like I can't remember what like I think like grunts It was not this literally But it was something to the effect of like

In their grunts Were referenced in code as like a little bitch Or something like that Little bitch Donkerson The colon swinging slasher It's crazy Mason the Metalhead

Mockery of Megger Death Pee I keep a gallon bucket Of hand sanitizer in my bathroom that I just dip my hands into. You're fucking crazy. I want to slit your throat and fuck the wound. Want to push my face in and feel the swoon.

Me be fishy. A lesbian cunt. Gay for the money. Just call me a bag. Gay for the money just call me a bagget. Nice. That's kind of... A bagget works. It's a classic one.

That's pretty good. The J.K. and J.K. Rallying stands for a gigantic cunt. John Strickland of Strickland's propane. Merck's 1889 bought and started playing Hogwarts Legacy so you know

the first church of key David presents nos ferratu the Vlad and the Vlad and the Vlad and the Furious White Kingston violently raping king dad

driving into Kingston's house at full speed pre-Raz Blake 896 See that video that people fucking doing a taste test video and the car crashes through the fucking window I saw this the other day

I gotta find it The boy gay night's day. I got locked on doing graveyard chips at the Dick Sucking Factory and all I got was locked on as previously mentioned. I want to know I want to know Have you ever seen the gay? Nice.

Nice. Jesus Christ. Call me Jack's film is the way I fill myself Jack in it. Mongoloid dunking over Shack, call him Forrest Jump. The Snark Tank is sponsored by Big Ugly Bitches. There is no Eft seen List in Bossing Say Das Goopy.

and the last few here the other liquid Chris the thumb people from spike heads except they all they're all just Costco guys young Colin belly flopping onto a pike why are you hurting him belly flopping

out of a pike is crazy just out impaling his poor self and it's like nine year old Colin too when he was still there was still light in his eyes Yeah, it's like, why? His fucking, I don't know. I can't wait to play Panofa FNi 4. His zone of the enders disc got scratched

and he couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't play FF4 and it dies. In Swines's ass like a hermit crab, Nikki Ziggie. Start spreading your ass I'm coming today. I want to, oh, start spreading your ass. Conn't like 34, right? I'm coming today. I don't know.

I think he's like 40 or something. I want to spin it. split you apart a bit I'm gay I'm gay What a piece of shit Like it's almost kind of

It's like it's Whatever Star spreading and glas Can a clank and borrow a battery pack Sorry Miss Jackson Badly Brave Who's New York Nick Aetherian needs help

Lowering his own Ahead Hatcher Naifor Melfus 1 And rounding out our list King of Hat Passer goodbye I heave as you pray I want to be Inside of him

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