The Snark Tank - #356: Joe Rogan Reached Out To Us

Episode Date: September 13, 2025

https://www.patreon.com/TheSnarkTank

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and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Whoa. Whoa. Look at this. It's the Snark Tank podcast with your host, me, Chris, him, Derek, and him, sweetie. It doesn't work as well when I can't point directly, do you?

It's awful. Yeah, we're doing, yeah, cancel. It shows cancel. We're doing it remote this episode because I'm a little concerned I might be sick. Or at least last night I was concerned I might be sick. I still kind of am. I'm feeling a little bit better. Want to air on the safe side.

So we're doing it remotely today. I think maybe next episode will be back, depending on whether or not I have the black death or not. Yeah. People are getting the black deaths specifically. Yeah. Isn't that actually happening, by the way? It happened a few years ago. For years ago, somebody got it from being a rodent somewhere.

I feel like recently I saw something about, like, in the last like three weeks I saw something about like, somebody came down with the black plague. Was it in like? Was it Florida? I wouldn't be surprised. I wouldn't be surprised. Like a few years ago, some bitch got it from going somewhere

and some random country ate a fucking rodent. And it was like, bitch, we don't. How did you get that? If you're going to eat a rodent, you at least want to eat it in like a nicer country. You know? Yeah, like, fuck. Like, I don't know.

Not anywhere where there's like buildings. Like, I'm not eating a rodent anywhere where there's like genuinely like city stuff. because I'm like, oh no, I'm going to get really sick. Well, they have every single disease known a man, of course. Yeah, I'm going to eat a rodent in like the deep forest where it's like, no, these rodents actually only eat foliage. Oh, yeah. Like, they'll never, they won't get you sick.

Yeah, it's like they're crazy eating a small rabbit. Like, it's exactly. It's untouched. It's clean and it's crazy to me that like, uh, it's crazy to me that this even still exists in any capacity. So like in like in 2024, there was a case in Oregon. And in 2023, there was a case in Arizona. Arizona. And then 2024 was like over 100 in like Madagascar. Oh, interesting. What are they doing in Madagascar? They're black deathing. You know, they're, they're doing it up over there. They're Madagin. Doesn't penicillin kill it? Isn't penicill just to kill that shit now? I have no idea. Um, no way. I heard something. Yeah, that's why we don't, we're not dying from it. That's why there's, I know there's some sort of antibiotic that like, like, God, we, we get. Yeah, I, yeah, sure. I'm like, Joe. I'm sure. I'm, I'm, I'm sure. I'm.

sure there's something. I mean, because it, it be around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm looking forward to what's going to happen with, I'll be honest, guys, with, because I'm, because I don't have any faith in this country, like, in a few years, you know, now that there is no mandate to vaccinate your children in Florida. They just got rid of that shit. So now you can just be a plague vessel. And they're not going to, and I'm assuming the states that we live in are going to try to block people from entering, but then federally somehow it's going to be overridden,

so they're going to be able to carry their plague jeans into our states. I don't have confidence moving forward that we're not going to lose a massive amount of people. And I'm just telling you, I ain't going to be one of them, though. I'll be far away from any. I'm going to be wearing plague. I've always loved those

plague mask, the plague doctor mask. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm just gonna fucking wear those things now. Just like, fuck it, who cares? Yeah, why not? Yeah. They're stylish. They are.

And they feel like they're useful too. Like, I feel like you could like, it's almost like having like a fork. Yeah. Like, you know, like you could get your, if you're eating a burger, you could like skewer it. Get it. With the beak and then walk around with it. It makes a lot of sense. You can have your hands free.

That's good. I like that. Exactly. A resident in Southern Lake Tahoe in California treated positive for the Black Plague last month after being exposed to infection and infected flea while camping. That's that's what it was. It was the,

that's what it was. The, a flea, dude. There's a flea walking around in like the woods with the black plague. What do you mean?

That's crazy. I thought for sure, like that would be like, I don't know. Oh, a lot of people have there's a natural response, a natural,

what should call it? Immany response to it. That's insane. I thought you're going to say some people just naturally carry the place. A particular kind of people actually have it just hilarious. And let's

me give you a hint. They're not Native Americans. Oh wow. Yeah, yeah. They're famously not ready for that. Oh, my God. Well, Patreon.com slash the snark tank. Remember, you can go over there, support us. Fucking grab moz. All right, relax. I'm in the middle. I'm trying to do the plug.

Get his Patreon on a COPS slash to snark tank over there. Add free access, early access, early episodes, exclusive episodes, all that jazz. Not a ton to talk about this week, although, I mean, there's some, but a lot of it's just heavy and sad. But the funny thing is this birthday card finally got released, this Trump Epstein birthday card where at first, like, the description, the description was that he had drawn a naked woman on the card. And I was like, well, that's weird. And then you see the card and you're like, it's even weird than you think it is. Like it's an even

Weirder concept Scene than it is Described Yeah You know I think the Wall Street Journal Is that who put it out Correct

This is a The twist in turns of all this dumb shit that's going on It is It's highly frustrating But if you can kind of try Like picture Imagine yourself If you're American right now listening

pretend to be European or something like try to so you can have fun with this okay because on the outside looking in it's like wow this is crazy that there's the people over there that's dealing with all this shit so then you can kind of appreciate it in that way of like the the the

the sycophants that are trying to like weave out of this situation it's they're running out of like good ideas and so the point like we have the speaker of the house right um he fucking was just on a whim. He was just going too much. He was saying, oh, no, he, he, he, he wasn't trying to say the whole thing's a hoax. He knows all about this.

He's just rattling off shit. And then he accidentally says, and I think I know why he said this. And he was like, oh, Donald Trump was actually an FBI informant and stuff. And he kind of like, he looks, he shifts in like his eyes get all like, uh, like, I shouldn't have said that. Almost immediately he was kind of had one of those shifty eye things. Like, yeah, I shouldn't have said that. What's his name again? Mike Johnson?

Yeah, Johnson And so Essentially Reporters immediately The following day We're like Oh, what's up with that? And he was like

Oh, you know I just kind of misspoke I misheard some stuff Like he basically was saying He got bad information But I know it It was one of those things That somebody he listened to

Probably some gay fucking podcast Said that And he just ran with it But there's a reporter The one that unearthed The I hate this guy too because I can't remember his name, something wolf.

He fucking was one of the ones I interviewed Jeffrey Epstein and Jeffrey Epstein said, hey, I'm Donald Trump's best friend. Right, right. So he comes out and clarifies what Mike Johnson was, what he actually means. Donald Trump tried to narc on Epstein. He tried to call the FBI saying that, oh, this guy has a fucking prostitution ring or something. Basically, because of, this is so funny. they were bidding on houses

Epstein was gonna buy a house for like 20 you put up like 20 fucking million or whatever the fuck it was gonna be and then Donald Trump was like oh that's a nice house that's cool you know and uh

Jeffrey Epsen guy you think this is a good property how do you what do you he's like consulting Trump about this shit Trump Trump undercuts them and like bids 40 million and like Epstein was like

that nigga don't have that money and awful bit bitter because what the hell and it turns out that there a Russian oligarch that was going to... Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah.

Buy the house. Right. So he essentially buys the house for double what Trump paid. Trump paid $40 million and the Russian oligarch actually paid like Trump like $90 million or something. And so now he owns the house, whatever. And so Epstein was like at the time was like, what the fuck, bro? Like I'm going to fucking dime you out because I know this is all fucking money laundering shit. Like this is this is like he was going to rat.

And then Trump was like, I'm a rat you out first. And then fucking he was like threatening to call the FBI and say he's running a sex, not a sex ring, but a prostitution ring. And so that's where the whole thing of saying contacting the FBI came from. Right. And so now allegedly Trump himself is crazy. Listen to Trump back in the day is kind of like not even like let's just say like even like five, six years ago. And how he is now like it's so clear that he's gone because he was talking about calling the FBI back then reporters were asking about this shit. he was so fast he was so like like man dude fucking who who even calls the fb like and actually that's

kind of true who the fuck does call the fbi i was thinking about that i was like yeah and he was like yeah and he was so quick and fast and i'm like i forgot about that i forgot that he used to be when he wasn't bitter and insane yeah slow sludge now like he's clearly even though we're hoping he was almost gone it's clear that he's still the thread is very yes he's absolutely fading he's fading no he's fading's fading's a black I mean, dude, he's like 80. Yeah, he's almost good. And he eats, and he eats like fucking grease pencils.

And like, like, he's not, he's not a healthy guy. Like, he's clearly rapidly deteriorating. Biden was already gone when he got in here. So, like, Biden was elected dead. Yeah. So, like, it is crazy to me that so many, like, I think, I can't remember where I heard this. People in the audience can fact check this. It wouldn't surprise me if it was true.

Yeah. And I think I did look up some of it And it's like enough of it was true That I was like oh shit yeah So many of our presidents Have been born in 1945 Or like 1946 That it's fucking obnoxious

Like even to like to this day Like Bill Clinton today Is as old Or actually like slightly younger Than our last two presidents Have been younger than our two presidents Yes

And isn't that crazy? No way. Clinton is younger than Trump? I think so. No way. I don't think that's true. I don't think that's true. Look, here's the point.

If they're not younger, they're in the same bracket. It's within the same two years. Right. Like they're two years away from each other. It's like, how is that possible? I remember like 10 years ago seeing a photo of Bill Clinton being like, holy shit, he's a drowager. Do you remember how he looked at Aretha Franklin's funeral? Yeah.

He looked like he was, he looked like he was part of the funeral. Yes. It's insane. He was like done except for until he saw Ariana Grande. They're the same age. Yeah, exactly. That's what he was like. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, August 19th, 1946 for Bill Clinton. You're lying. They were saying, oh. Joe's a little bit further. When they got elected, he's a little bit further up there. And obviously his cognitive decline hit much harder than like some.

somebody, some people that are around the same age. Trump is two months. Two months younger than Bill Clinton. What the fuck? We used to have presidents who were like a reasonable age. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like that's what I'm getting at basically.

Is that like it's upsetting? I feel like genuinely not really, but like, because I feel like what you call it was famously young, right? Wasn't JFCC famously young and Barack Obama? Weren't they those the particularly young ones? JFK and Obama. Weren't they like, oh, these are the young ones? particularly.

I mean, why don't you just look up a list right now? Yeah. And then you can see all the ages. There's unquestionably, these are the oldest presidents we've, we've had in a fucking long, long, long. It's certainly in what feels like a fucking hundred years. So like maybe Johnson was like on the older side, right? What is it? Linden.

Linden B. Maybe. I would say by appearance, I have no idea how old Eisenhower. was, but he looked ancient on his way out. Yeah. Let's see. So Lyndon was 55. I let me look up, look at Eisenhower.

Eisenhower. That sounds like an old name. So who was particularly young? Grant was young. So he was 62 years old. Right. But he was, yeah. But he looked, bro.

Like, he looked like if you, he has a really good speech where he's talking about the military industrial complex on his way out. Yeah, that's an eyes and blasted up with speech. He looks fucking, he looks like he's fucking a ghoul. I was, I was, he looks like, he looks like a litch that got brought back more than once. Like he looks like, it was like, yo, this dude needs to stay down. So James Polk was young. He was only 49, relatively young, 49.

There was Pierce, Pierce was a 48 year old. Yeah, we don't need a whole, like, all of it. But like, it's, it's just that, like, Obama was the younger. Like, Obama was younger. George Bush was like, he was an old guy. but like he's not like you know Obama wasn't even the youngest actually the youngest was JFK yeah JfK was like 16 yeah that explains all of it it really does that's why he just fucked everything right like he's just like all want to do is get publicity I don't care about

anything he's just humping the fucking podium while he's giving the speech is fucking thrusted out of it no plan he's just like we got to get the troops home we got to get the troops home because my boys the my boys are over there we need to fuck we also let the blacks I don't know run You had the right jobs, I guess. I don't know, whatever. I don't know. And then, blow! Yeah.

My wife wants me to, my wife wants me to go on some parade thing. I don't know. I don't know. I don't get it. I don't really, I don't really want to go anywhere. Hey, what's that shiny thing in that building over there? Ouch. What's that?

There's like a sniper glint. Yeah, yeah. You know how like in games? Like you'll see what a sniper's about to shoot the little spark. They should take sniper glint out of every game. They should technically. They should. it would be terrible the snipers would become so much better.

It would be completely yeah yeah yeah. It would be fucking stupid. I get it like dude I don't know where I'm getting shot from. I just don't know where it shows me where he was and there's no one there now. That got killed by a fandom. That would be more like yeah it would be very realistic but then of course the more realistic something is the less fun it is like goodbye. I want I want a call a duty sim I want like a simulator that like I want them to have a

mode where it's just like if you ever play Boshito Blade where essentially you get if you get slashed once you're dead essentially. Oh yeah yeah you get shot if you get shot you can't move anymore yeah you get shot in the leg you immediately crumble and you're like oh

oh oh like you can't stop screaming yeah and then you die and then when you die the game deletes itself off your hard drive my friend told me about a game that I don't think this exists there was like a

you had to there was something you had to do to stop once you died you had to do something to stop your game from permanently like deleting your shit it was supposed to be like kind of interactive and I'm like

that doesn't sound real even a little bit that doesn't sound that sounds horrible it sounds completely stupid but that sounds familiar to me it sounds good like in concept and like the 90s or 2000 it's like would this be cool if we like made the game

like really introspective, but then people started being like, dude, I can't do this all the time. I think there's a game, there's an indie game called I'm scared from like 2014. That was like a horror game that did something like that. I think it would like, it would, it would

like install like text files on your computer and you have to go find them and it would like give you clues or whatever and then like if you didn't solve it enough time, it would like delete the game. There was something like that that I feel like I remember. That sounds vaguely I don't know if that's the same thing that he's talking about.

Maybe there's something too, like, because it could have been one of those telephone things and then it, like he heard something and then it none of us verified that shit. Yeah. So it was like,

that was back before we could, we could verify. Yeah. Yeah, there was no way possible. There was no Google check to me, be like,

hmm, absolutely not. Never. Yeah, dude. Yeah. there's some other funny shit that was happening kind of surrounding like similar stuff

like the only other thing is how do you guys feel how do you guys feel about bringing back to the Department of War how do you guys feel about that? Oh yeah. It sounds, it really sounds like a Norm MacDonald bit. He kind of does, doesn't it? We're like the president of Donald Trump

bragging about being the peacetime president, just renamed the department to the Department of War. Woo! And it's like, it's so on the nose that like I just don't understand how anybody can not see how fucking absurd it is. It wouldn't even, I'm be honest,

I'm completely honest, it wouldn't even bother me if he wasn't heavily advocating for a Nobel Peace Prize. I'm like, right. Why, dude. Dude. Like, he's trying so hard.

He's like, he wants one for Operation War Speed. Apparently he wants one for ending. I don't know what he's claiming. Oh, yeah. He's ending. I ended like seven wars. I'm like,

where? I'm like, Oh, which one? Give me anything. Remind me which ones, please? And then I'll at least be like, oh, fair enough. I didn't know. But, yeah.

But he's trying very hard. I even, there was that front that RFK Jr. got in front of the, you know, he had that, that they had that conference where they're grilling him because, you know, obviously the CDC and HH, everybody.

HSS and the CDC essentially want him gone for obvious reasons because he's fucking insane. And so they were grilling him. Dude, that one Republican and fuck this guy, this guy should be strung up because he knew better. He was holding out before, right, because he's a doctor and he was like, you're not going to touch vaccines. He was like, of course not. And he's like, okay, votes for him. And then he's the now he's the head of the HHS. Immediately fucking starting fucking with him RNA, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So now when they're growing them, he comes back up and he's like, uh, so, uh, do you, you agree that he's like, you agree that Trump, uh,

should get a Nobel Peace Prize for Operation Warf Spring. Like, oh, absolutely. And he was like, but you literally just said that vaccines killed more people than COVID. Well, well,

and I'm like, bro, why are we here? This is, that's, that's, that's, that's,

it is, you can't, it's so fucking crazy. Did you see, did you see that guy in Congress who was like, Did you see this where the guy in Congress brought, like he put, he had a picture of a fucking alien? No, what are you saying? Dude, I don't know how to describe this to you.

I have to, so let me, I tweeted about it because I just, I couldn't believe it. Let me send it to you. Was this like back in the day when that, when the Mexican people, like that Mexican dude in Congress was like. Mexican alien. Yeah, remember that shit. I do remember that guy had like the little alien. He's like, hey, yo, check it out. I got real shit.

And they're like, these people are like, prefer. This is their jobs and they're hearing this dude out. This is crazy. So here's here's this thing. I'm putting it in the in the in the in the in the Riverside chat. This has such that the same energy of like, you remember back in the day when they they brought in a snowball to prove that global warming was fake? I don't remember that. But it doesn't surprise me. Oh man. Dude. Yeah. So he so he so this guy brings out he shows a picture of a baby xenomorph literally in Congress and he's like this is what you could end up looking like if you eat the shrimp. that the U.S. gets from other countries. Like, it's, it's not even, look at their faces. They can't even believe what they see. The nigga on the left is just like, yeah, dude.

I'm never paying my taxes ever again. I mean, this is actually insane. I'm gonna be real, dude. No taxation without representation. I've been like saying that to my, I've been chanting that to myself every fucking day. This can't be. I was like straight up.

This shit is not representing me. Even a little bit. anymore. That can't be. This can't be. It's real, man. This can't be. Mike Lee did a better shitting on the Green New Deal six years ago yet. I do this is insane. That's crazy. It's just everything's happening so rapidly. Oh, Texas just banned, um, alternative lab grown meat. And I'm like, oh, the state, the so-called freedom state is now disallowing people to do things. Of course. Yeah. Oh my God. like literally have to be in either

California or the Northeast to like be able to live safely now. Northeast or the Northwest, that's it. If you want to be okay in the states, unfortunately the cities are going to get heavily more populated because a lot of people are going to be forced to fucking move out of these fuck states.

And that sucks, man. Let's hope the ones that agree with them here leave. They're not going to obviously, they're just talking. They're just blowing smoke out their asses. But let's hope they leave too. They're not. Did you see Blair? Did you see Blair Weiss coming back?

Of course. She's moving back over here? I didn't see the video because obviously I'm not going to watch that shit. But we all know why she's fucking moving from Texas, from Texas that hates her kind, that hates people like her. Yeah, it's very amusing. They won't even let people have fake meat there, bro. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM.

I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and Cee. CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind it. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today,

with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology. It's getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks.

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, Oiraida, Silk, Capri-Sung, Bavarian Meats, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings.

when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Like, it's just like, I'm not even, I shouldn't even say fake meat, lab grown meat, because it's still meat. It's just not, it's just slaughter free. And you don't have to eat it. But that takes away all of it.

That takes me all the thrill. Right. Fucking freedom. Yeah. Yeah, I really like, I do think the suffering really. I wouldn't eat meat if it didn't suffer. crazy. Yeah, I've heard of many

a times, unfortunately. That's crazy. The way you deflected, that joke was crazy. Oh, oh. It's true, though. I would actually... I really feel that way. I'd really rather it not, but, like, you know,

unfortunately. The funny thing is, uh, it's actually very, uh, meat sucks infinitely worse the, you know, for obvious reason. Yeah, yeah, it makes it, it makes it way worse. Literally. It's like, what suffering makes things worse? Sometimes you ever get, you ever, uh,

Every once in one I have like commercial like chicken. Like a chicken sandwich that's from like a chicken breast fillet. Like from the commercial? McDonald's. Yeah, from specifically from the commercial. The chicken breastfilet commercial. Olive Garden. I had a chicken breast with some stupid pasta dish.

And it is to me it's so obvious when the chicken suffered more than usual. Because like it's like this hard. I'm being facetious. I'm not being. But like there's sometimes there's these, it's like hard and it's like rubber. And I'm like, how the fuck is this? You can feel it. You can cook the same, bro.

Like, why is this? You can definitely feel like, like you bite into a burger and you're like, this, this cow got cheated on right before it died. Like this, uh, you know, this, this chicken just lost his kids. Everyone like everyone, like, in my family and that I know that like takes care of meat, they like literally treat them well. And then sneak kill them. Yeah. Well, as far as, as far as you know. As far as you know, you don't really know.

You're taking their word for it. That's true. That's true. They could, dude, I told the story on the podcast, right? That, like, when I went to St. Thomas, when I was younger, I saw them beat a pig to death with a bunch of boards. And I was just like, oh. It's so funny. It's so fucked up.

And they were, like, having fun. They were, like, all, like, all right, cool. Let's go do it. And they were just blanking it to death. And I was like. It's definitely, it's highly disrespectful when people, it gets to the point where, like, like say hunting and and doing stuff like that is like it's now fun it turns into sport essentially

instead of doing it for like oh this needs to be done you know I have no emotions I've just got to get it done now you're like laughing at this thing's wheeling at the top of its lungs and they're like humans is it so is it better unfortunately but it's still trash I think is it better is it better to kill an animal with a stone face like feeling nothing than it is to

kill an animal and laugh while you're doing it. Stoneface. I definitely are going with the former by far. I will take a stoic man that's like, oh, this person's been robbed of emotions doing this versus laughing like the Joker. Versus me seeing a tire video, you know? Like, there shouldn't be a person around animals.

Oh, no. Dude, tire videos. Those, those, it's magical. It is really magical, but it's hilarious. So I'm playing through I'm playing through Middle Gear Solid 3 again. Yeah.

I'm trying to beat it on extreme with like no killing nobody and doing all that shit. You're trying to do that? Oh my God, dude. I remember that's horrible when I played the game.

It's cool, it's fun. Like I just like, you have to understand there are no stealth games anymore. So like I really I really have to take what I can get as far as this goes. I get it.

So I'm gonna play it as deeply as I can. But like there is a trophy for like killing the, the old sniper guy before you even have to fight him because you can sniper him in his wheelchair if you find him early enough and so I did that It's like some part in the beginning where he like drives off

He moves off screen you can pop him with a sniper Before he leaves screen It's in the middle but if you kill him He's in a wheelchair and if you kill him He explodes and the tire Flies at you And does like crazy damage to you Like basically kills you

And it's like And it reminded me it was like Oh my God that has a completely different context to me Now as an adult because I've seen so many of these tire videos where that no longer comes across to me as unbelievable. Like when I was a kid and I saw that, I was like, what are the odds that a tire would just do that?

Fly directly at you. Yeah, and now it's like, no, it's, that's complete, Kojima once again ahead of his time. Yeah. Dude, man. People that can't miss. God, Kojima, Lord President Trump.

man can't fucking miss RFK never misses ever hearing him defend himself is crazy because no one gets up and attacks him you know except for Bernie when he was first getting elected for the first position I remember seeing Bernie like physically

like getting physically upset and I was just like well he did again you did again last week actually was was it did I see last weeks again then well if you just if that's what you're if you're referring to something you recently saw you probably saw fresh footage literally him like it's physical like you see him like

jaunty and jolting you fucking dumb nigga you fucking with the wrong hood nigga and I was like god damn dude and then he like he snaps back in he's like oh shit I'm not I'm not I'm not fucking Brooklyn anymore my bad sorry I'm not marching sorry I'm not marching

I'm not fucking I'm not marching with junior I'm not marching with Luther King anymore I can't talk like that yeah yeah fucking apologies all right well you guys you guys want to move on to question we got a lot of of questions. Ask me an evening.

Okay. I'll tell the Joe of asking anything. Ew, that's so disgusting. He does like one of those I forget what company does it, but like they do the interview a celebrity and they have like a board where they have like unfinished Google. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where it's like, does RFK prefer salmon and his ice cream? Yes, I do. I do. I love salmon. I love salmon. But I usually like to put anti-freeze in it as well. It kind of strips the salmon flavor is a little too strong, so I mix a little bit of cool it. That's crazy.

That is crazy. That is crazy. That is crazy. Derek, what you just said is crazy. You just let leave your lips. What do you mean? It's a little too spicy for me, so I like mixing an anti-freezing my salmon. It's like, what do you mean?

This motherfucker has a position in office, and I'm going to kill myself. Sometimes when I make myself. sandwich I like to cut cut a nice square of soiled bed sheets and wrap the meat and it really adds something to my to the flavor profile.

Wow, you're a fucking genius, bro. Wow, you're so, I'm Joe Rogan. You're so jacked and amazing RFK Jr. You're so amazing. Thank you so much. RFK Jr., can I drink you? Yeah, can I drink you?

Would that, like, I'm afraid of getting COVID again, RFK Jr. Could I if I drank your your spit, do you think that would make me immune, would that make me have full immunity? Tell me, tell me what, I'll give you the answer, but tell me what thing. Are you going to, are you going to, are you going to, are you going to eat the possum on the bottom of your shoe? Well, I was actually, I was saving it for lunch, but I, I, I respect you so much RFK Jr. That, I'm quite famished. I'm quite famished.

We'll go. Jamie, scrape the possum off the bottom of my shoe. I'll do it with my tug and tea. Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, Jimmy, finish swallowing my bust and then go out of R-F-A-O. My bust. Okay, Joe. Joe's their stone face getting sucked off. Finish swallowing my bust and then go out.

Sto-y. Help out R of K. Yeah, go help R. Okay, go get it. Finish. Finish doing what you're doing here. Go get R.K. His bib.

He needs to be. Yeah, I can't wait. I can't wait. I'm so excited for my beverage. Somebody grabbed my cum bib. It's so stiff. It's completely. It's like, it's almost like a cutting board with like a necklace stringer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it looks like it looks like it looks like. It looks like someone, it looks like someone drew a wave in like second grade and then made it a thing with depth and height. And he came and it just lays over the front of him. Right. That's a lot conceptually to press it. I know, right. So, we're going to get some questions here.

We're going to move on to some. We're going to move on to some questions for our patrons over at patreon. com slash Starkey. Remember, you can jump on over there. Ask us questions. Send us stories. Give us suggestions. I'll say no.

Help me. Help. I can feel it inside me. It's in my bulge. Sergeant Shrew wrote in. Jesus Christ. Sergeant Shrew Rodin, he says, Hello.

Has there ever been a music video which ruined a song for you? Thanks for the show. I'm kind of sad that he didn't give an example. I can't really think of one. Because I can't think of a single time where this has happened. Like at least enough to the point

where like it sticks out in my memory. where like a music video has ruined a song. There was a Britney Spears video with Kevin Federline in it, and I remember it being really trash. I forgot which one it was. I do remember. But I do like, do like the video.

I'm unaware of that. I mean, you're in front of your computer. Don't you pull it up? It's going to be too much work, but we'll try. It literally can't be that much work. We'll begin to delve.

Britney Spears, Kevin Federline music video. We're delving. That's way too much work. I found it immediately. Which one is it? Wait, no, there's like a bunch of them. I guess because I know he was...

Oh, it's my prerogative? Is it my prerogative? I don't even know what the fuck that song is. I know it's a Bobby Brown song. Did they cover it? That'd be disgusting. Brittany Spears my prerogative. Oh, I hope they didn't cover the my prerogative

because that song rules. That's my prerogative. It's a good song, man. What this is? Yeah, I don't know. Kevin Federlin, I remember being the butt of the joke for a long time. Yeah, and I didn't, I didn't know anything about him. Like, he made a, for a while people were meming him because he was in the studio.

And he made this like Brazilian, he called it like a Brazilian butt shaker song. And it sucked horribly. And he's like doing all these like mannerisms where like he's like, you know, and like, like, it's so fucking embarrassing. And mainly a lot of people started putting like the heaviest music of man. imaginable over it and he's like, you know, just... I remember seeing that video. I remember seeing... Fiving out to, like, death metal and shit.

It was pretty funny. Is it weird? When I see Britney Spears at this period of time, I remember my young self being attracted to that version of her and I feel a nostalgic attraction. Is that weird? Not necessarily weird. It's like,

I feel that way when I see like Aaliyah. Like, when I see Aaliyah, I'm like, yeah. But it's not, it doesn't exist now. Like, I'm not attracted to that version of her now. It's like, oh, this is a, no, it's nostalgia. No, it just brings you back to when you were like, you thought she was the shit. Dude, I adored. So, like, every time, like, when I see Aaliyah, when I see, especially, she has this music video called, We Need a Resolution.

Yeah. And she's being all fucking, like, seductive and hypnotic. And I'm like, oh, man, I remember that time. I remember those days where I was just like, I need this girl. And then, and then R. Kelly beat me to it. I was like, damn. Robert Kells Bue to it. He beat me to it.

I was like, damn. Kurt and I were, like, essentially the same age or something. That nigga was like, nah, little man. Nah, little nigga. It pushes your dumb little ass over. Move aside. This is my, this is my 15 year old.

I was like, damn. She's definitely older than you still. She's like, she's 40 something now. Yeah, I was definitely, I was still pretty young when she died.

Because I was probably like, when she was like, what, 21? Yeah, because I feel like, I feel like I was probably like fucking 14, 13. So I was somewhere.

I can't remember how old I was, but I remember seeing MTV breaking news where it was scrolling The underscroll. And I was like, what the fuck? She died in the plane crash. I was like, dude, I was, I was convinced. I was convinced to marry her.

I was convinced that I'm like, the only reason I'm going to try to be famous is I want to try to talk to her. That's, that's, hey. I get it, man. It is pathetic how many young boys want to be famous specifically to get with girls. Oh, yeah. I mean, 100%. Yeah. I mean, absolutely.

I get it. And you like, aim high. Aim high so then, because you know you're going to fall short, but maybe you still do well. You know what I mean? Maybe you still need a Leah and married. Absolutely fucking not. You never know, dude. You never know.

You could be, I don't know. Do famous would be marrying? I guess famous people that are dating people before they're famous marry them. Like, there are some artists that are like, oh yeah, I was with my wife when I was in high school and I just ended up marrying her. She held me down. But then there's also the cunts that like get famous and leave the foundation that they had the whole time. Like you're trash. I respect the ones that stick with it.

Like I look at somebody like Janus and Ducumpo. Like you see his wife. I mean, no disrespect. What did you just say? What the hell is that? Janus. You just cast? No. They're, they're Africans.

There's an African Greek man. Janus Antentacupo. Kumpu. That sounds like something that's literally sounds like something Voldemort would shout. Yeah. It is something at Voldemort. That's why they named him that. Yonnes.

And, um, yeah, so he, uh, no disrespect to his wife. It, it, it, it, it doesn't match. Like, when you see the stardom, like, he, this motherfucker's like, almost like seven foot. He's like seven foot. Very handsome. One of the biggest stars in the world. And like, his wife is like, you can, like, oh, this is just, this is just a real bond. You don't see, right. You don't see it that often. So it's so wholesome to see that. You're like, oh, man, you like, he's, that's, that's his, that's his lady. He's still. his lady before he was insanely famous. I actually just held him down clearly. Yeah. Because, I mean, the temptation, I can't even imagine. Especially beating that motherfucker, dude. He's like, he's so, he's so, he's just one of those genetic freaks

that's like, like, if you were, if you were creating in a lab, like, everything's proportioned like perfectly. You don't see, usually a lot of times it's like, oh, this person's head's too big. Oh, his torso small or, you know, there's like, there's something. There's like a give. This bastard's. There's always like a give. And this

guys like just like proportion perfectly are like man fuck you you're a fucking giant freak but you also don't look like a giant freak if you know what i'm saying like it's like damn he doesn't look scary he doesn't look like like like uh you know kevin durant they're like the same height kevin durant didn't have he looks weird he has no neck he looks too skinny but he's also like a little bit heavier than yon it just you know it's like one of those weird things Kevin Duran is the epitome of like what a draw, like what a drogger looks like. He looks like a monster. Like he basically has slender man's build.

You know? And like this guy. But like they're, he like ways pretty much the same much as Janus. And so it's interesting seeing their builds are so vastly different. And I remember that when he was, I was younger and as Kevin Durant's like actually not hyper thin. And I was like, what? That's, I know, he's not. He's not hyper light.

Like he's not a twig. He's actually pretty heavy. He's very. But he's very. I guess he has like a lot of. bottom heavy like a thigh. It's just weird seeing them side by side. Like Chris, if you saw Kevin Durant and Janus and Tentacombo side by side, they're like

the same height essentially. They're like maybe an inch difference. 6-11, 7 foot. And they weigh relatively the same just about, but they look completely different. And it's like, wow. Like, genetics are fucking crazy. I like how that works. But I guess I can say the same thing for me, though.

Yeah. I called the fire department one time in like 2007 or eight. And they were like, oh, what are your staff? essentially because you know usually firefighters are tallest shit and stuff well usually they prefer that and I was like oh I'm 5-6 190 and the guy like on the phone was like uh it was like I know what it sounds like because these guys picturing I'm this like giant ball of fat or something because 190 pounds for 5-6 is pretty that's like it's a lot of weight for somebody that's 5-6 but my thighs are carry most of the weight so you it doesn't like right now I'm like 225 pounds

and people are like, like, I look fat, but I don't look 225 pounds fat. Like, as somebody that's as short as me, if you know what I'm saying. That makes sense. Yeah. So, like, if it's, it's just so, it's interesting. But it's funny when you look at the BMI thing for people's like weights and it's like someone's supposed to be that weight. Like that is the way someone's supposed to be. And it's like, it's the whole planet just even thin people are overweight.

I think those, those BMI things, uh, again, I know there's people that there's a classifications of body types. I don't know how much scientific validity of those things have where they're like, oh, you're this, you're an endomorph, you're an endomorph, you're a this morph or whatever the fuck. Do you know what I'm talking about? I remember hearing that in gym class like in like high school endomorphs and ectomones. Yeah, like something. There's like three different ones or something.

Which sounds fucking, to my nerd ass sounds like. Alien bullshit. Yeah, it's like dead space. The only thing I can say is. Jaylen's overweight technically And I was like Well see like it's but like obviously he's not Right

Jaylin's not over there No he's not But based on the stupid BMI chart He's like yeah technically And I'm like The interesting thing is Where to your height So obviously these things are archaic right

Because to your height It's like oh you're supposed to be around this weight And if you're 20 pounds over that tech That means you're obese We don't use that For we don't you You would never call like Chris If you were let's say

20 30 pounds heavier nobody would call you obese obviously that's fucking retarded but a doctor especially if we're not we're not just saying you were 20 pounds heavier when you were working out you had like 15 more pounds like someone might be oh two year height you should weigh I don't know what what the bean

pound I don't know what the I'm 127 you're 127 at at 54 5 yeah if I was 1 57 at 5 4 that would be kind of wild but it could be it wouldn't be obese but you wouldn't be like fatter you would be if you if it was pure fat

that might be different it might I still wouldn't people wouldn't concede to obese but they'd be like oh niggas get fat you know I think that would be like that like just always get a little fat They would say twink twink death is real is what they would say Man Do you ever want to you ever think about taking a copious amounts of steroids I thought about

I've been I've talked about on the show I thought about taking copious amounts of ozempic oh right so the opposite just to see just to see how thin I could really get why do you want to like die you would just get sick probably no I just I want to see like how thin I could get without dying

why why play with being alive like that for no reason just stopping because it's too weak to pump what no yeah that's how that works dude girlfriend actually Chris you know what ignore what we're saying

do that do that exactly now you should take a I'm experimenting with a newer drug because I didn't want to be on a TRT anymore and I'm a report to you guys what you say taking meth ketamine I don't I if ketamine I would not because that's the that's a downer I would fuck that I don't I would yeah I would if I was ever going to take any type of like drugs it would be uppers because I hate being like I had to take I was talking about mechazine to to fuck the equal out my to balance me out because the equilibrium my equilibrium was fucked and that was the most

that to me it was essentially like just just pounding melanin not melanin what the fuck uh who who is what he asked I lost the actual word by saying melatonin melatonin thank you

melatonin my I never worked for me I never worked for me really melatonin like it would just make me it would have really crazy dreams it would have if I would take from Melatonin definitely works for me I haven't done it in a while, but like I used to, because there was a point where my schedule. No, I didn't have it when we were when we lived together. In Avalon, yeah, you gave me a malice one before.

Unless you just gave me a random drug, you made me have nightmares. I gave you, I don't know, Advil or something. And then he had crazy fucking nightmares. Taking ad vote, taking an inset gives him crazy nightmares. Oh, man, I really OD on that suit of Ed. I fucking hate it, dude I take that shit And I lay down

And my dreams just get fucking bananas And I'm like, oh my God I get too stressed To go back to sleep The thing The thing with melatonin is that it puts me To sleep reliably But I only sleep for like a very specific time

Every time I take it Like I sleep for like six hours Almost exactly And then I wake up no matter what Like it's always like exactly six hours And it's like that's so weird But for a while I just couldn't sleep

I was going to bed at like 6 a.m. And I was like, I got to fucking. That's crazy. I got to reset myself. This is really annoying. That's crazy. But, oh, by the way, the answer to the question, I would say, closest thing I can think of is as a kid, the song, I think it's called Leave Me Alone by Michael Jackson.

Oh, leave me alone. The music video creeped me out. It was just like the animation of it. Like, it becomes a robot? No, no, no. That's just when it's like, it's like a, it's almost like an amusement park thing. It's like a roller coaster thing. There's this big mouth and it's like it's fucking, the song's great.

But like it just gave me this uncanny Valley creepy. It just was creepy as fuck to me. Like it's not technically creepy, but like I said, Ken Connie Valley is the best way I can describe it. Yeah, I just, I don't have an answer for it. So like I think of that shit and it brings me back. There's other, I have other things that like it just, it just has like a response. Like I think of like certain things.

Like that's it. I got. There's a time when you're right, and you know you must fight. It's a good fucking song, man. Who sings that? What are he saying? Same shit. He's just singing it like in the most monotone, baritone, baritone way possible.

Baramontone, Maribotha. He just can't go higher. He's trying really hard. It's like sing as high as you can. Oh, say, can you see? All right, we're going to move on. We're going to move on. Fuck you, Kingston.

Fuck you, Kingston, you wrapped an orphan Fuck you, Kingston, you wrapped an orphan Cabobrode in. An orphaned cabob? That sounds good. I mean, no, that's terrible. My impression of a Sweeney making an original joke, what if Jay Leno but brutally raped in a minivan?

Look at him. That's crazy. That's so insane to say, even. Well, you're laughing at it. Because I'm scared. No, you're not scared, man. Oh, okay, never mind. Sorry.

I've seen you scared. I'm not sorry. My bad. My bad. Sorry. I've seen you scared. Have you really? Yeah.

You don't remember like when I stuck up on you accidentally and you like cocked your fist back because you were afraid? Oh my God. When I was doing a laundry, dude, just don't. I hate people being near me in the first place. And then when they're near me randomly, it's like, that's more hate. I didn't like, you have to understand. I don't sneak up. I mean, I can and I have stuck up on me because you were standing.

What makes it worse, you were just standing there looking at stuff, like looking at me, like just staring at me. And I'm like, why are you doing that? You're just wasting time being alive right now doing this to me. Go do something else. I'm light. I'm a lighter guy, especially back then I was a lot lighter. I was like 10 pounds lighter probably. And so, you know, I walk around.

I don't make a lot of noise. I'm a perfect stealth person, by the way. I could sneak I could sneak just about anywhere I've stuck out my case in like a million times accidentally You should you should start sneaking into like bomb fields To see if you can sneak past the mines I don't think that's how that works Oh really? Let let

Let Chris prove it works that way or not Oh okay You can just sneak back like a last Sneak past explosion is crazy It really would genuinely be my only Like if I was involved in any type of military anything It would literally be the only avenue in which I would be even remotely useful. And that type of shit isn't done anymore.

It's done with like robots and like hacking and AI and shit. You don't send a guy in anymore. You know, because like why give you a guy insurance? They were stupid back in the day because they kept, you know, you had to step on them to trip them, right? Yeah. Why didn't they just drag their feet? Fucking losers. If they just dragged them, they would have, they would have, their toes would have touched it.

And then I'm like, oh, just shuffle the other way. So stupid. Like, genuinely, everybody before now is stupid. Absolutely. I mean, war is like, there was a certain part. It's just like the, I always thought of the great war. I'm like, you guys, just leave the trench. What are you even talking about?

What's so great about this war? You're in the trench? They're like, oh, man, this war is hell. I'm in this trench. I'm like, uh, leave. Get out. Get out. Get out, idiot.

That's so that's so disrespectful, but also I get it. You know, like, that's so like, that's like really, really disrespectful to like people, but also the same time. It's disrespectful, but I also, man, I have a hard time having it. I have such a weird dichotomy with that. It's like this duality of feeling bad because it's like y'all are getting heavily taken advantage of it, but also like stop dying for rich people. What the fuck? Like, I have this like juggled feeling. I don't know, man.

I don't care. I'd eat them bad. the chance. That's cool. I like that. That's a good response to... I would devour every single human on the planet if I was given maybe, I don't know, for fucking $6. $6.

He also wrote this, which I think is worth pointing out. Is darkness faster than light? Do you remember this conversation? No. There's like some stupid technicality why, but we had this conversation a long time ago where my argument was like dark. So the speed of dark.

This is an old... The speed of dark. The speed of dark is faster than the speed of light because dark is always where light is trying to go. Like, dark is always ahead of it. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,

whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better, coming up with quantum or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.

Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.

To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Like it's always. It's so stupid. And I think it's a sound argument. The speed of dark is insane. It is not a, it is not a valid argument because darkness isn't a thing. It is an absence of something else.

But that is a thing, though. No, it's not. Yeah. No. The absence of something is a thing. If it wasn't a thing, it wasn't a thing. It wasn't a thing. Cold isn't technically a thing.

It's an absence of something. You can't tell me the cold. You can't tell me the cold, but cold isn't a thing. You can't hold cold. You can't. You can't acquire cold You can't hold hot either really Yes you can hold things that are heat though

Because some things in heat can't be separated What you're talking about? Like light and heat can't be separated They're just always going to be together You know That's not true glow sticks aren't hot They're hotter than they were before they started glowing I don't know

They're hotter when they start glowing That not they were before they started They're not going to because it fucking exhausted me because you and our friend Whiskey argued this in my hours. And I was telling them facts like spitting off facts. What are you talking about? All right, never mind. I'm just going to good night, guys.

Let me just turn off my camera. I think the most interesting thing is like, and it kind of creeps me out. It's like what even is heat, you know? Like, just like, when you think about like how, like how heat is even generated, it kind of freaks me out a little bit. It's just like Adams moving extremely fast. Isn't it also technically radiation? Like

Yeah literally It literally is like But it's not like Nuclear radiation It's simple No it's nuclear radiation Not exactly It's not exactly

That's what my English teacher told me Oh nice That's cool Yeah But like you know It's like it's like I don't know It's fucking I don't know

It's weird It's uh You atoms come to a complete stop It's frozen I just like I don't I can't think about I can't really spend time thinking about atomic structures

because I just, it's so, I shouldn't say that. I was going to say it's so beneath me. It's so beyond you. He starts to start floating right. He's just like, it's so beneath. Dr. Manhattan bullshit. I just mean literally, it's, I imagine the same way that Sweeney that you feel about like, like deep space or like, like, you know, like anytime like, oh, what is a black hole means? It's like, it doesn't, I don't know.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't like. It's useful to know. It's probably interesting. But it's like at the same time, it's like, until under. standing it plays apart in like my day to day. Like unless like they make a machine, it's like, hey, we've built a teleporter that folds space into one another.

And so now, now you can travel back and forth. You can travel across the world in like a second because we've invented this black hole technology. Okay. Now it's something that I think is worth understanding because it's going to be something that I'm going to be interacting with on a frequent basis if that's true and if that works. But if it's just like a metaphysical concept, unless I'm like writing fiction.

like it's cool like I think a tom like that kind of physics is really interesting because it's like it takes the idea of like it it's it's the magic you know it's like this is the magical part of the world where things have like things are not what they seem and they could be changed into a little bit more on the same we could do something that isn't like natural but the same time it's it's like so I'm dude I'm trying to like not kill myself every day you know like this is this is insane I can't I can't do you just you just We're doing our best. Me and Derek are doing our best to win that, by the way. That war of attrition. Yeah. Kingston's constantly trying to not kill himself. We're constantly trying to push him towards it. It's never going to work.

I think we'll break you one day. Yeah, we're getting there. Yeah, we're getting there. I can see the cracks kind of warming. I think I'm going to break, but it's not going to be because of you guys. Like, I'm going to do it one day for sure, but it's not going to be fed for that. What do you think is the most likely reason that you would break? Like, just a funny take my own life?

I don't know, like, getting really bored. Like getting, like, really, like, like, like, dynamically bored being like oh wow interesting that's it oh marble marble rival rivals hasn't had an update three months yeah he just the biggest good that's not that's not boring enough because it's all that's up going on like if desert eagle oh yeah like if one piece is ending is like really truly bad i'm like oh well yeah that is fair i think like whatever he you know he gets uh he's gonna like have to uh register his car whenever the fuck he gets one you've got to go to the dmv he's gonna kill himself the dmv's not that big a video for me because i like

I'm not like seeing other people suffer there. It brings me, it brings me glee. It's like, you're miserable. You're miserable. Yo, I, I, I, it's so crazy. The DMV is, is, is, the DMV is probably the place that I've been where I've, like, most publicly crashed out, I think. Mm.

Because I think I, I went back to the DMV, I think, four times in the same day. Because we had to, like, leave to get paperwork from some fucking somewhere. It was some, it was something like that, or at least it felt that way. And we were just in line. And it's like, okay, so. They gave us one file and then we filled it out. And then we brought it back to the front. And they were like, this is the wrong file.

And I was like, I, and I think I said out loud like in line. I was like, this is why government, this is why people go insane. This is why people shoot schools up. Like, this is exactly what, like, thank God I'm an adult. I don't harbor any resentment towards children. Because they would be in so much danger. if I had to deal with this at 15. It's insane.

Like the DMV drives people crazy and I totally get it. It's it's such a mind-numbingly like completely inefficient place. It was when I was trying to transfer my car from like California to New York and the registration. Because like apparently like California and New York have different like, so I think one of them has like paper titles for the car and then the other one doesn't. They do electronic and it was something like, oh, we can't accept it. doesn't have a paper title. It's like, brother, this car doesn't have a paper title. It's not how that fucking works.

And I was like, well, sorry. It was, it was, oh my God. I was so close to. So sorry. So sorry. Yeah, it sounds. Don't guy busts on your toes. I wanted it like.

Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, What we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?

Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah.

My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first Volt-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very, very, large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway.

It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, ORAIDA, Silk, Capri-Sung, Bavarian Meats, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply.

See website for full terms and conditions. Cut my, slit my throat on top of this person. That would have been good. Like it was so, like the rage that you feel in the DMV is insane. That is insane. You're throwing on top of it. I will say over the years, it has significantly gotten better only because there's a lot of deterrence

it's not significantly better for a lot of people especially older people because there's a lot of and when I came back to California there are many reasons why they won't even let you go to the DMV because they're like nope you can handle this all on kiosk or online

get the fuck out of here and personally me as a millennial that understands technology I'm like great because a lot of I can just walk up to the kiosk especially if it's tags I don't need to go to the DMV anymore I can either order them

don't order them a line they fucking rape you with with with with fees it's insane dude i would have to pay a hundred dollars more just to order it online they're just like convenience fees on top of convenience fees i was like what the fuck is this so i went in into the kiosk because there was a kiosk in albertson there's one you can go to the dmv just walk right in you don't have to wait no fucking dumbass lines one time i had to physically walk in because i had a very okay i was trying to give them a little bit of credit but then a part of their website was fucking broken where i wanted to change my on my fucking registration.

And that section on the website was broken. So I had to physically go in, even though they say, you can't make an appointment for this because you can do this online. And I was like, uh, I can't. So I just, I made an appointment anyway, just lied to say what I was going in there for. Um, and the cool thing is, they now have a text system to where it just tells you where you are online.

And they're like, hey, nigga, you almost up. Show up. And I was like, that's crazy. I'm seeing all these fucking people at an almost like, 100 degrees waiting in line and I'm like what the fuck are you guys doing just go home do this thing and show up when you're ready

I just think a lot of people don't have that that fucking memo they don't know and I'm just like that sucks guys and then the people that are at the DMV are usually people that are unfortunately bound by going to the DMV you know like they're not like understanding like hey just don't do this

just do something else yeah because for me I make appointments because I remember people used to go up DMV randomly and I was yeah they had the appointments versus uh just show up there's walk-ins and it's like how could you just walk into the that sounds horrible it's uh how did you do that sometimes you have to get it done just because uh all the appointments are so booked out they're so far out you're like yeah i have to just stand in line and i know it's gonna be i bring a fucking handheld it's gonna be an adventure because i'm here for a while but uh luckily like i said they're deterring a lot of people from even go like oh i need to update my tags i need new tags they're like get the fuck out of here

that's basically they won't even let you make an appointment for a walk in they're like bro there's a kiosk right there your phone can do it you're holding a phone that can do it but you know to be fair to everybody else that has not been communicated to them if you feel me like it's not like they fucking know this it's not intuitive so how the fuck are they supposed to do it yeah i don't know i God damn government efficiency, bro. It's like, it's so crazy. Like, why aren't there large memos? Why aren't there fucking Congress people

or your fucking governor or anybody being like, oh, hey, guess what? We got these major updates for this shit, right? Vote for me again, bitch. Like, what's up? It is crazy because, like, you know the money's there to do it. So it's just them choosing not to. And I think it's ultimately because we have a,

we have a really awkward, like, two-party system where like one side of it is like we want the government to do a lot and then the other side is like actually the government can't do anything and it's dumb and it's like well why do we even like that would be like if you hired like nobody that would be like if you were like training to be a but like if you were training for a boxing match and you hired two coaches one that wanted to train you and one that thought training was dumb and like just wouldn't do it and like and they both get equivalent time to train you and it's like well what are we what are we doing here why are we like This is intentionally making this worse to self-justify, like, the thought, the belief system that this guy has. Yeah. It's like, I'm going to make government ineffective because it has to be because that's my entire personality. But, and it's like, you could, you could easily make the DMV, like, function immediate, like, way better. Yeah. They just don't.

The biggest, the biggest thing, because, like, say, when I was in Arizona, I was in bumfuck, Arizona, there was just the MDV, different. thing, but it served the same purposes. The city of Buckeye was so small that there was no issue. And so it was like, this is great. So basically, in theory, if there were infinitely more DMVs, like there are fucking Starbucks and McDonald's everywhere, it would be no fucking problem. And obviously they can fund this shit. It's not.

And like you said, to the coach that thinks training is bullshit, the way that the conservatives work, they're like, oh, uh, it's not. making any money. I'm like, it's not supposed to. It's an investment, retard. What the fuck? Where's the money at? Oh, the post office hasn't been making money. Didn't fucking Trump say that not that long ago? It's losing $9 billion. I'm like, no, we're investing $9 billion for this service. What the f? Ah! Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna, and I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business?

My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it.

We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept. that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st.

Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, ORAIDA, silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meats, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even. more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions.

What do you got? So, so twinkle, twinkle, little star rode in. Not bad. Nice. Not bad. He said, he says, please for the love of God, look up, look up Matt, look up Matt Damon, Arthur. he haunts my every waking moment. I feel like I saw this before. And somebody else responded to that. Harriet Tubgirl said, I don't know what I expected, but it definitely wasn't that.

I looked it up. I did not. I do not know what I was expecting. Is that from that movie? No. No, it was Matt Damon and Arthur's show. Oh,

the show. I don't even know what to fucking make it. Oh, they. They made. That's hilarious. Is this real?

Does he look like that? I remember watching this a long time ago, actually. This is a real video? I want this a long, long time ago. I mean, there's enough evidence to, right? It seems very real. There's a Facebook clip of it. Oh, my God.

Oh, man. This is insane. They just, it's like when the Simpsons started doing a celebrity cameos, and they just started just like drawing the celebrities while everybody looks like a, everybody else still looks like a cartoon. You know? Yeah. Like how Michael Jackson voiced, like famously voiced that like fat dude looking guy.

I love that. I love that. But like if, but then like Lady Gaga's just herself. Yeah. I was it family guy that kind of like really, I feel like family guy is the one that. Because they famously were just, they just put in celebrities. Well, they, yeah, but they did that from the start kind of. Well, that's what I mean. Like, did they not popularize that is what I mean? Like, oh, I guess so. I feel like Arthur did it before that. That episode Matt Damon's a long, like I was young. Oh, I imagine.

Huh. So how many times did, uh, did they have frequent celebrities? Because like, I know obviously kids shows did that with like Sesame Street and shit. Yeah. But like, did Arthur? Was this a recurring thing? Did they have celebrities on all the time? Matt David was a current character.

I'm fucking Arthur. He's just Matt Damon in the show, by the way. It's not like, like side by side. I can see that they tried. This is kind of his facial structure. I'm like, ew. If he was an animal of some sort. Yeah, Matt Damon with ears on his head.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really, I'm totally, I'm totally in agreement with Harriet Tubgirl. Like, I really, I don't know what I expected, but that was not. That was not. I want it either. I can't believe I've never seen that. That seems like something that I would have seen even as like a shit post. What is a shirt he's wearing?

Is he like anti-capitalist? What is that? Is that, is that the White House? I don't understand. That would make sense for him. He's that kind of guy. Is he? I don't know his politics at all.

He's that kind of guy. He's that kind of guy. He's like, very like anti-establishment. He's not, he's not an anti-capitalist, Ardvart in Arthur. I mean, what is he? I'm actually very curious of like what his shirt is. I guess it wouldn't even be anti because there's not a,

it's not like a no thing. Like, right. It's like circle with like a government. building in the little bit. Yeah, like what the fuck? What are weird? It looks, it's so distracting because it feels like the shirt should be blank.

I, I, I, that's the only thing that's actually made me curious. I'm like, what, this shirt obviously means something. And, and, I'm sure Arthur asked him about it. Hey, what's your shirt, motherfucker? And he shot him in the back of the head. Don't fucking ask me any questions. I'm from fucking Boston or something.

He's like, hey, kid, don't ask me anything fucking stupid or you end up like a fucking statistic, right? Yeah, you end up, you end up in a depotted. We all fucking die. We all fucking die in the pot. You want to get depotted? You want to get depotted? We'll depart you.

And then fucking, what's his name? Scorsese shows up and hands them like inwards, like scripts. He's like saying. He's like saying right now. Call him it. 100 pages of nothing but hard hours to scribbled.

This is my next movie. The Edward. That would be fire. That's his last movie. I would love to see him write a movie where their main characters are black and see what he would do. A black mob movie would be so fun.

They wouldn't. They wouldn't say the N-word one. None of them would say it. They'd be a roving white man that would just say it randomly. Yeah, it would be Martin Scorsese. Martin Scorsese would play the one guy that says it. Would he do it? It's like Tarantino.

Yeah, he's not Tarantino where Tarantino's like, ooh, I can't wait. The producers are like, bro, stop. You don't need to save any more. I need feet in N-Words. That's it. I have to, I have to. This is my new film. This is my new film.

Foot N-Ward. I don't forget about foot inward. I love it. It's such an unnecessary one. It makes me so happy. Feeling like young and thinking this is unnecessary is kind of crazy when I look back on it, watching Pulp Fiction and him saying like dead inward storage.

I was like, that was unnecessary. Like I was just like, that's so unnecessary. Even as a young person. That's what makes it so funny. That's what makes that scene so funny. Because Sam's character. didn't even cause the problem. That's what makes it even funnier.

It's like, right, freaking Travolta's character and he tells him. Well, he's not calling, he's not calling, he's not calling, he's not calling him,

but he's like, he's just saying the, Phil Lamar that got blasted. But it's like, why did you have to call it that? That only someone who's a seething racist would say that. And so I'm like,

are you applying? Someone that would say that would say that. Like, he's an unsavory guy, man. Yeah. It's just, it's just a. I was like, okay, am I supposed to think this guy's like extremely racist, but nothing else in that scene would suggest that other than that. You know what I'm saying? That's why it was just weird. I'm like, oh, it's...

It's the only one of his that I'm like, this is the one I'm kind of like, this kind of shit. This is this one. This moment, this is kind of like, this is this moment. This moment is kind of like, it's just weird is all. Like, it doesn't technically bother me. It's just, it's just, it doesn't take. I know for sure. It's just, it's just. just a, oh, like, if there was something else in his character in that scene where he said something else that was like mildly racist or full-blown, I'd be like, oh, this guy's just a racist cunt, okay, he's just going to keep, like, if he said something disrespectful to Jules or something, I'd be like, oh, but it just didn't happen. So it just seemed like a very odd thing where I'm like, what are you trying to communicate to me? And that is the only N-word in his discography.

I feel like that just really comes out of nowhere. I think that's it. I think that's the only one, because I think all the other ones make sense. I'd have to watch some of the old ones again. We're going to watch fucking a reservoir dog's, uh, duogs, the fuck. Reservoir dogs. Whoa, that was crazy. I don't know why.

My brain just had a weird thing. I don't know why I did that. I don't talk like that. It's like one of my East Coast dogs that don't live in here. Like for a while, I was hanging around people that would say coffee. And then I started saying it. I was like, I got to get rid of this. I never said that.

I got to get rid of this fucking coffee thing. I always said coffee. I always said coffee. I have no reason to say other than some. I still say coffee. You can tell when there's too many fucking, when you're hanging around somebody too long, you're like,

oh, I'm picking up their mannerisms. I gotta get out of here. It's coffee. It's coffee. It's coffee. I just know, I know there's something.

I bet you're, Chris, your mom, I bet she says coffee. She absolutely does. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I, I say it sometimes too. I catch myself. It's, I have to, I have to try to say coffee, though. Oh,

yeah, like, because, I say coffee. It's an active, it's an active, it's an active, like,

going to try and get a cup of coffee. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes.

Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will matured. Sure. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Contum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for storewide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, ORAIDA, silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery.

Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Like it's light, but it's more awe than... Then like, ca, call to me. Yeah. I tried to say it fast so people don't notice. It's insane because of New York accents, because my sister has a New York accent, and I absolutely don't have one. The British sister?

No, not the British. The one that lives in New York does. And it's insane because. So that was just her peers then, huh? Like probably hanging out with their peers? Because if you didn't. Who my sister? Yeah.

I don't know. Well, she's older than me. And I think the accent was more prevalent when she was younger than it was when I was younger. Because I think about that. When I was younger, I was exploring media from all over the place. I was oversaw, I wasn't absorbing media from everywhere the way I was absorbing, you know? Yeah. Because I had the internet and shit like that.

I have the words I say, I have New York slang in the way I speak, but I don't really say things like a New Yorker. You're a Californian though. I wouldn't say that. I would say I've adapted, I've assimilated more than you have, basically because I'm within a California person. Yeah. Yeah. But I wouldn't say that. I would say I'm like, I.

He was late to this recording. He was late to this episode. It was in his. And it's in his room. Yeah, it's California. I was like like five minutes. You were not late by five minutes. I was.

I was. I had a text. I was like, hey, guys, give me like five. And then I showed up two minutes after that. You said give me like five after like ten minutes of waiting. And then after five minutes,

no, no. No, no. At 133 you said give me five minutes. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's not yet. That's not yet.

133 is in like 20 minutes. Anyway, let's Let me see five minutes. He said three minutes and three minutes. Oh my God. Mongrel. Intruder wrote and he says, please switch Sweenen and Derek's seats.

It makes me violent. I don't know why people are so passionate. Yeah. And I also made the mistake on talk addressing on the show. And I was like, oh, I shouldn't have said that because now it's going to rile them up even more. They're like, it hasn't been done yet. But, uh. You can't address them.

They're not humans. Well, I mean, you know what? You can't address them. I think we should. tell them to say Chris? Sure. I think we I think we intended to do it and then we just like literally forgot. I forgot because we're saying we're going to try

because again I'll reiterate for maybe people that because people maybe people don't hear every single episode. The reason why we switched was it was literally just an audio issue. It's the arm stand. It's not, sweetie's tall.

He's very tall. And so the mic doesn't reach well enough and it seemed like on other side he would be able to do it a little bit better and that was the that was the the idea of just getting the mic closer to his face and it can just like stay there so but uh the the table's in a different spot i want basically it was like okay let's theorize let's see if there's something we can do and also because i i agree that i'd liked uh him filling out the background of the of the of that shot the idea of the background with the with the green screen

is funny for me. Like, this is a bunch of shit happening in the background. Well, I want to get the green screen out of there. I'm looking at it's time. Yeah. Yeah, well, because like I have that, I mean, that's obviously just for shooting my stuff. And it's just, and it's always up. The reason that screen is always up is because behind it, it's just mirrors, which is

like, it's just kind of a nightmare. Not only for like lighting and like a noisy background, but also because like it makes the sound work. Like, the green screen is pretty good for sound. It is. It does very well, because without it, the reverberation's crazy. Yeah, but

Yeah, so I'm looking at Like getting like a kind of like a backdrop put together We're tweaking shit Next episode we'll have Sweeney on the On the other side because I do think it actually would work now Because we've angled the table differently So that I'm not constantly in front of the camera When it cuts to that other side

We can figure it out We'll give it a shot and see how it is And then you know Back to normal But that means It does come across I do like that format though Of me and Derek on one side

And Kingston other because it comes across is like Kingston's on trial. Yeah. There's something about it. I think people miss that too, I'll be honest. I think like especially Sweeney's the, he has like,

he's the, he's the mascot. He's somehow the, like, he's the everything. He's like everything. He's like the, that's why we talk about the merch where it's like,

what did I say? There is no merch of neither me or Chris if I'm, if I, correctly if I'm wrong. Yeah, that's just your face is.

I don't think there's any... We talked about doing scumbag versions of everybody. But we couldn't... I found one picture of mine that would work. I couldn't find one of Derek. And I was like, I don't know if... I don't want to have just two of us. It's other one of us or all three of us.

Having just two of us feels weird. Yeah, I don't mind if we can work that out. But I guess my only point was that he's like he's the ambassador. He's like the mascot. God. He's also somehow the punching back as people keep like messing with him only, essentially. It's just like he's like everything encompassing. And I like that like put him on that side. Not only is he on trial, it kind of, it like just, it makes a lot of sense. It really does. It makes sense. I like that. I don't know how he feels about it. Quite frankly, I don't care.

But like I. I just, it's like the trial of Magneto, but it's me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. is me with the freaking thing on. I'm like, why am I here? I like it. I like that it just, I naturally happen. And I want to keep it going. I want to make sure especially when it comes to likeness and,

well, you know what the reality is that like we, me and you are the only people making the merch is really what it is. That's true. Like, like, like, like, like, like, Kiksa doesn't make, like he's bought, he's found some, like from artists. But I'm never like, hey, make a picture of Chris is writing a dick. You know, I'm never like...

Yeah. Like me and Derek, me and Derek, we're the ones... Derek and I are the ones with Photoshop. Exactly. I have Photoshop, too. I just don't know how to use it. That's the thing. So, like, if I'm going to make something, I'm like, I'm not going to make a shirt of me because it feels narcissistic.

It does. So, like... Good point. Yeah. You know, so I'm just going to be like, I'll throw kicks out of there. He's basically fake. That's great They just hate my shine, bro

I was thinking of I know we kind of missed the wave But also I feel like it's like Damn They hate my shine The king dad merch Like I don't know what to do with that

Yeah Like I've tried I've thought about like Hello hello I'm Malcolm Gladwell Host of Smart Talks with IBM I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research

Jake Gambata We discussed his video for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?

Yes. building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.

How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2020. will build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st.

Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, Oiraida, Silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions.

I have some ideas. I don't want to say I'm on the show because then people would be like, where is it? But like, I don't know. I like the idea of seeing. You know how they have those stock footage of people. like modeling shit. Like I just like the idea of like people this fucking dude

with the safari thing and the fucking old like blunderbusters. He's not even a real guy. That's what makes it crazier. It's like it's not even a real guy. We got to hire, we got a hire a guy to do it. Yeah.

We got to hire someone that can, that's really good at drawing people into existence. Something that makes any sense. I like some of the like one of the, one of the arts, somebody, one of the illustrations were really good. But I don't know if we should go for more a caricature or more realistic.

I don't know. Yeah, it's got to work well as merch is the thing. Like, that's kind of what's tricky is. I don't know how you feel about it. Because there's certain shirts where I'm like, in the right circumstance, a flat square on a shirt looks fine. But like in most situations, it doesn't. And then like sometimes just a person on a shirt looks weird. And then sometimes it doesn't.

It's really, you got to kind of play it by, not by ear, I guess by eye. Yeah. but yeah it's tricky to figure that shit out i do want i do want i do want king dad merch though i just got to figure out what the fuck we're gonna do yeah anyway let's see what else do we got what the fuck is this i haven't read this one but it looks interesting just visually ruki kukichi wait rukiukiki kukiki kukiki i don't know from the hit anime bleach i don't i don't think i've never seen any of bleach actually somehow i've seen a handful of episodes and i was kind of enjoying it but then i just stopped watching it

I don't remember why. I love bleach. It was one of my favorite anime's I think it was like locked behind a thing I was watching on some website and then it was like I was like okay whatever

I can't get the rest of them or something I think it was on TV and then I was like this is like a cleaning show I don't know and then I just didn't I didn't look deeply into it

yeah I didn't know I was like oh some nigga name Itchigo or something I saw I remember I really don't remember anything other than that yeah like a show a show called Dragon Ball

Z that kind of gives the feeling of like oh this is gonna be like kind of like, people are going to be fighting and doing some weird shit. When I see bleach, I'm like, I don't even, I don't have any idea what this is. Yeah, it doesn't. Even Yu Yu-U-Haka show to me, like, seemed like, oh, yeah, hell yeah. I don't know what that is.

I don't know what that means, but that's cool. Sounds cool. Yonka-show made no sense to me because it was like, what the fuck does this mean? I honestly still, I don't know what that show was. I watched a handful of episodes again. I don't remember. That's one of my favorite shows at all time. I love Yu-U-Haka show, really?

One of my favorite shows a lot of time. Is it that, is it that beloved? That's very beloved It's the person I made Hunter That was his first show I like I remember I remember watching it as a kid And liking it just not like really

Not liking it so deeply that I was like Oh I gotta you know I gotta I'm really really into it I would just watch it and enjoy myself That's like one of my foundational animators Like you have a show Dragon Ball And like I don't know fucking Colyoko

That's my foundation for cartoon Colioco is crazy We should we should uh we should We should uh I love this idea just because Because hardcore anime, people would probably get really upset if we did an extra ammo of listing our favorites. And I feel like people would get so bad. They're like, these all suck.

Oh, mine are pretty simple. Yeah, it would be a very simple thing for me. And they're like, what about this one? You know, like all like these super amazing intricate ones. Like, I don't care. That's gay. You can't talk to anime fans about anime. That's why I like it.

That's why I like the idea of upsetting them. Anime fans only absorb anime and manga. Like manga fans only absorb anime and manga. You've never watched Baby Geniuses Genshin-Huryshinko? You never watch Lolliland? What the fuck? You never watch that show? Are you serious?

I absolutely have not watched that. I don't care how good it is. It's like it makes people cry and shit their pants. It's so good. And I'm like, I've only, I think I've only seen like maybe 200 episodes of Lollaryland. I don't know. You don't watch Lolliland. I fell off after Lollie Lollie Lolleyland.

Lolleyland. Lollie Lolleyland. Lollie Lallie Lens. Lollies Lollies Lollies. Jesus Christ. Next time on Lolliland Z. Some pervert fucking does some pervy shit. Is she seven or three thousand?

God, you know what's really sad about a lot of those shows? Not a lot of it. Is it real? But I mean like, what's sad about because the way that I remember watching Dragon Ball's D is not a way that I can watch it again What do you mean?

You know what I mean? Just jointed as shit. Because there's so many different versions of it. Oh. And like the, so the exact one that I watched really isn't like because I've bought the seasons or whatever

and I like I've watched a couple of the seasons and it's like this is not exactly like I remember the ending music to the episodes being different. I remember the announcer. saying specifically, and I'm just like, man, it's just different. You can't get the same experience again. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM.

I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to that, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example, if anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive.

So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway.

Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions.

Because you have Kai or you have like the original run that's like got some weird, I think they did some like George Lucas shit to it. but yeah I guess the way that I experienced it like probably most people in America was Tunaami um and so it's like okay what is that cut uh which one is that what is that one classified as that's uncut that's uncut that's uncut the dragon ball's uncut so it's got it's got the whole uh foreskin got got you my favorite thing my favorite thing was like towards the end of that show was like when they started having like at the end of the episode it would have like there was I can't even remember exactly what what the riff

was but it would end like, dun do, dun dun dun dun dun dun. And it was like, it would end with like this kind of like rock thing. I remember it's being kind of bassy.

Am I wrong in that? Yeah. It was like, yeah. I know what you're talking about. But I've watched those episodes again and they don't have it. I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

It's weird because like there's clearly, there's clearly a version of it. It would kick in. Lost. And you would be like, oh shit, episodes is over. I know what you mean.

I know exactly what you mean. Right. And it's almost like, um, you know how something radio stations have like, they trail into Yes You know

It's almost like that Where it's just like I wonder if that was just tsunami Like And that's like That's just missing Because that was tsunami Or not or not

I don't know It's all over the place That's crazy I watch Dragon Ball I like the show The music was cool obviously But the music wasn't like a big focus To me at all

In the show I liked it I like the I was thinking about the music Constantly I like the scenes Like I love the When Vegeta

Becomes Majim Vegeta The fucking guitar riff when that's happening is like down da-da-da-da-da-down down-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-down down I guess I can't even picture what you're saying.

I don't know what that is. It's pretty much the guitar riff when Vegeta and Goku were fighting each other that entire guitar riff was like really, really cool and I remember obviously like the Maj and Boo theme. That's a great one. Yeah.

The circus one. Or Bobbidi's Kahnik. Or Bobbidi's fucking what you call or Bobby's spaceship. That's my favorite. favorite theme from my anime ever. I fucking love that shit. It's good stuff, man.

I think that that shows like a sum of like, like all the parts just kind of like worked. But yeah, anyway, we got off track with bleach here. Hi. Does Derek have, does Derek like, oh, does Derek like or have an opinion on acid bath? They're a mid-90s sludge metal band and I love both their albums so deeply. Both.

They only have two from the 90s? Fun fact, the first album, uses the last painting serial killer John Wayne Gacy made while on death row as the second. And I'll use Dr. Jack of working who assisted patients with suicide through euthanations. Euthanasians. Youth and Asians. The youth and that was always the joke, right? The youth in Asia needs our help.

Stupid. Fuck up. Go youth. Thank you for making funny podcasts gets us through the day. I've never heard of this band. I don't know anything about that. Yeah. If Doom and sludge people, that's a big one.

I only know of them because of my buddy. It's mainly a lot of metal bands. I know because of my friend Brock. That's his bread and butter, especially like a lot of sludgy shit. I was roommates with them at a time and it would just be like, oh, it's go in the garage and like work out or hang out. And he would always put that garbage on there. And it would just, it sounds exactly the genre. It sounds exactly the name.

very sludgy Yeah right And I'm aware I'm not a huge fan I like it in small doses I like stuff like that In very small doses But I can't

I'm not one of those people That will put on the whole fucking album And just like Oh man this This just chill And usually a lot of people You know they're smoking and shit And they're kind of vibe in and stuff

It's not necessarily I'm more of the fast two minute punk song Hardcore shit That's more of my way Yeah Yeah Yeah, for sure. Broskys,

Fuck Only Fans, Kixen just gave us fat material, Rodin. He says, What's your favorite audio of domestic abuse? Mel Gibson is goaded, but Brad Tasted Music is a new classic. So I heard about this. I don't know about this.

So Brad Tasted Music, I guess, is like a, I mean, I assume he's like just a music critic guy. I've, honestly, full transparency, I don't know anything about this guy. I've never even really heard of him. The only other music guy I know outside of Anthony Fantano is that guy Todd in the shadows, who I think used to do stuff for that guy with the glasses,

the nostalgia critic. Todd's good, I like it. Crew. He's really good. Yeah, he's the only other music person. So Brad Tasted Music is completely new, but apparently he's got some audio out that's like wild. He links it here, but I haven't,

like I just don't know, I don't know what it is. But you want to put it in the check? Can you? Is it possible or no? I can sort of. I'll look at them. I could probably, yeah, just look at Bradtaste and music. Let me see if I could find the, yeah, it's called Brad Taste and Music verbal abuse audio.

And it's a month ago, it's got like 37,000 views crazy. Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.

Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right?

Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large. large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, international delight, Frito Lay,

and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions.

You can probably find that I would imagine if you just look that up. Because I'm on my iPad right now which is not connected to the computer. But, so the one that I think of most recently, like I, look,

I get it, like Mel Gibson, that's a pretty goaded voicemail. I happen to think I'm Alex has a pretty good one. That's good. That one is not bad. And it feels like, it feels pretty good because you like, you know the guy, you know?

Right. Like, it's like, it's interesting. It's like, oh my God, I've been in the same room. But, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I wouldn't say I have a favorite audio of domestic abuse. But there are some that have definitely an entertaining quality to them. And I'm Alex's one is, I'm Alex's one is just funny because like he's just such an unassuming or not unassuming, he's the wrong word, but like he's just such a

Like it's hard to imagine that Somebody with that Build or makeup or that That stat allocation Could even say these things To another human being You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just a wild He has a non-threatening build That's why. So you're like, oh So you say something like bashing head Into like a brick or something like that or what was it? I can't remember I'm going to bash your head into With a brick

You can't bash your head in with a fucking something like that. And he's British also. He doesn't help. He has this little spazzy reaction. I remember he like, he like kind of may have this little twitchy thing he does. He's like, and then he says it. And I'm like, that's great. That's great.

But yeah, but I haven't heard. I haven't heard this. I haven't. I actually, everything that I was looking, what did you say it was called again? Like the link. So I have it. I have it now. I looked it up on my computer, so I'll just put in the chat.

Okay, because when I looked it up, I was like, I couldn't, I was like, I was Why is it just links of people talking about it. I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah, I put it in the chat. Jesus Christ, it is crazy. It is really out of pocket. You've destroyed me. All I've ever wanted to do is support you.

Stop lying to me. Look me in the eyes and stop lying. God damn. Stop being such a wimp. What? He's like, dude. It's like you can hear him like moving his head around. Venom.

He's becoming, this is pretty good. I don't know anything about this guy. I'm excited to delve into his content. You've killed. That's crazy. You said, you killed me.

What is that? It's like a, there was a, like, you know how like there's treehouse of horror? You know it's like treehouse of horror? Like, there was like the thing,

they did that for featureamba, but it's called like the scary door or tales of interest or whatever. And, uh, Leela kills Professor Farmsworth. You know, kicks him into a, a thing of man-eating anteaters.

And while he's getting eaten by the man-eating ant-eaters, he's going, you killed me. You killed me. I love that part. Oh, my God, what if I done? I just told you. You killed me. It's so good.

And like this guy's like yelling at this girl. I've never gotten to this point ever in my life. I've never even. Yeah, I've never. What? I have never gotten to that point ever. I have gotten mad, but I've never gotten to the point where I'm like just, even yelling. I don't like.

yelling, so I just could never imagine, like, just, I just can't do it. I should I wonder, I wonder what it's like. I wonder what it's like, I'm getting that mad and, like, letting your anger out like that. Because I get mad, and, you know, I just kind of shove it down. It's kind of, it's kind of, it's going to be you, this is going to be you one day. This is going to, we're going to have audio of, I really, I really don't think I'm ever going to do that. Like, you're going to be screaming like you're becoming venom. I don't think I were going to do that because I understand how I look.

So I don't think I'm ever going to let myself do that. But, like, at one point, it just, it's just, it's just purely priming. It sounds like a fucking Like that, remember the MMA fighter that was yelling at his wife? I'm like, bro, what are you doing? You sound like you're auditioning for a metal band. What are you doing? Do you remember the thing of the MMA fighter yelling at his wife that would just turn into an ape effectively?

I forgot that dude's name. He was like a mixed martial artist. No, I think, are you talking about that video footage? No, no, that wasn't, that was a Tim Lambieces, the singer of Azalee dying. Oh, okay. I understand what he looks like in an Mn Mn Mnard fighter because he's all juiced up and shit. Yeah, he starts going. And like hitting his head and shit

And he literally starts aping out And I was like I've never seen that before I've never seen someone Literally turn into a fucking ape I've never been even remotely close to this man Not even close Like I've been pretty pissed off

Like on many occasions And I'm just like I usually just like I'm not gonna But I'm not gonna berate somebody like this You know I wouldn't do I've never see I wouldn't even be in a relationship With someone that I feel this way about

You feel me? I couldn't get to that level. I've definitely been in places like this. But the thing is to me, it's just like... Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,

whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.

where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.

To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, ORAIDA, Silk, Capri-Sung, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more.

Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. I'm just very aware that the emotional reaction is very rarely the one that is authentic, I guess, or the one that makes the... Or like, how should I put it? The way that you feel about something in the, in the throes of the initial kind of, you know, burst of emotion is never anything that you, that lingers forever. It usually, like, it explodes and then it kind of settles, you know, and then you kind of settle into, like, a more reasonable kind of frame of mind.

And I'm so aware of that, then, like, whenever I feel myself getting angry or, like, any type of emotion to this degree, I usually just kind of like, all right, I'm going to just wait for that to pass, and then I'll speak when I know that I can speak

with a fucking clear head. So, like, the thought of somebody not being able to do that. But then also, like, I guess I don't know the full story, I guess. We are just kind of going off of just this video. Maybe she's, maybe this person is actually so insane that they drove this person this way. I don't know, it's possible. but that is a wild amount of anger.

It's a display. I can't think of... I never let myself get to this point. I can't think of something that would drive me to that point. I mean, like, I've been jumped a couple of times actually. Like, well, you know, a couple of times I got jumped. Even that, I was like slightly annoyed. Like, what the fuck was that?

Bro, you've killed me. It's crazy. Yeah, that's a... You killed me. What the? Tell me. Yeah, my fucking... What have you done to me?

Tell me what you did. He sounds cool to me, guys. I don't know. He sounds cool to me, guys. I don't know. Yeah, he's based. This dude's based. I like this dude. You got to treat bitches like that. You got to put him in their place, you know?

I like this guy. It's a level of anger like the, that you, you, it is very, it is very, it's like a cycle. I imagine this dude, you know, we're completely spitballing, but you know many of times, oh, my dad was a drunk and, like, blah, blah, blah, and he beat my, and then, like, I, I learn from that example. Uh, it's, it's weird, like, because, like, to, to get that angry without an example, usually doesn't happen. You feel me? Like, it's not how you come to that conclusion on your own.

It's like, I've seen this before. And now, I think it's, I think it's too, it's too big to fucking even quantify. I think it's just, clearly he's just having a fucking clearly ridiculous moment of outburst, where it's like, I don't even blame it on parents. I know people that are parents. I've seen people who have, like, comp, parents who freak the fuck out. Yeah.

It's not even that I mean it used to be parents. It's just an example. Like they saw it somewhere. So that meaning it could even just be peers. It could be, it's just one of those things that seems emulated and not like, it doesn't seem the natural mode of a human being. Like if you're growing up pretty isolated without examples of like,

usually it's more of you're going to get a fucking tumor in an ulcer because you don't know how to release your anger and disappointment. I think the opposite actually. I think, I think people grow up and learn how to not. though tantrums from people around them, actually. I think that's obviously. Think of how children not when they're upset. Well, because they can't do anything else.

Well, exactly. Well, and if that's the, the arc you continue to follow. I mean, I understand what you're saying. I actually, I think there is, there could be something to that. But it also just feels like you would think you would see it way more often. You feel me? Well, because we live in society. I don't think that.

I don't think that's why we don't see it often. And I think that's why behind closed doors, women be getting, You see like when you look at like trash all over the fucking place. I look and come on theater seats like yeah. Dude, I actually, I think I'm going to start bringing fucking, because the theater bar at house has those like leathery. It's like faux leather seats. And like I just don't like, I was like, bro, I don't feel the amount of people that

come and laminated and piss in these things. They're like, I need to start bringing. They'll do people don't be really like. It happens, sir. I'm sure it happened. When we saw the often pissing in seats Well, yeah, maybe not pissed

But I know it I know it happened Just like smelly greasy people And I'm like you know They don't wipe these down After every showing Just probably at the very end of the day No

So I was like I need to start bringing my own wives bro Because uh Yeah pissing in movie theater seats is crazy Like I've only done that maybe twice When you gotta go You gotta go You don't want to miss the movie You paid for it

Yeah just like It's a movie I've already seen before But I don't want to miss this scene again That's why I think genuinely like I have to stop holding my pee because I've Jeff definitely held my pee so many times. That's crazy. You probably have...

And I'm like eventually, eventually it's gonna get to a problem. It doesn't bother me now. Like I can hold my pee genuinely for like most of a day. I think you have like prostate cancers on... Yeah, you probably do. I gave it to you. I probably like I sent... I had like a little machine that I bought this thing on

Sheen. It said a prostate cancer machine and I aimed it at you. I've been aiming at you for months. I haven't been telling you about it. It's been, it's been under. the podcast table aimed at you, aimed at your chair on. That's crazy.

At full blast. And I just, I wasn't sure if it was where I wanted to see, like, if you ended up with prostate cancer, I would be like, oh my God, it works. Someone's being immune to prostate cancer. It's hilarious.

They're just, like, I just have prostate cancer. Like, no, you, no, you're forgiven. You developed autism, though. It's like, oh, that explains why I really love Legos. By the way, when, when the vaccines are banned and people are still autistic. Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbeta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum

computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer. question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.

I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature, right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times a point. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, ORAIDA, Silk, Capri-Sung, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up

and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. What's going to be the excuse? Oh, the Democrats are doing it somehow. It's in the air, yeah. The air's good. That's good, but I feel like that's a little bit too rational.

I feel like it's going to be worse. Oh. Like, I feel like it's just like, oh, Epstein is a Democrat hoax. It's a Democrat hoax. I'm like, you can't blame everything on that, man. Like, say something else, anything. Oh, man. All right.

Queen Christie says, what's good by three musky queers? First time writing in, been here since episode zero. Welcome, welcome aboard, I guess. thanks for writing in no question for you all just wanted to let you have the Hassan vocoded video since it seemed like you guys

couldn't get a hold of it for a while we did get this message I think you actually sent it to us elsewhere in addition to this we do have it thank you that Hassan video of him telling everybody to leave because he's trying to talk about politics

and it's happening during a state of play or like during a PlayStation showcase and they auto tuned it and he's just begging people to leave it is so hysterical it's a good video it's easily It's easily the best content that Hassan has ever made.

And he didn't even technically make it. Fucking leave. Hey soon. Good stuff. All right, let's see. What is this? Jalke. Fucking joke.

Oh, okay. So here's kind of an interesting one. Geography with Sweeney is worse than a lobotomy. Nice. Geography with Sweeney. I'm not good with the European geography at all, but I'm American. Of course, I wouldn't be.

You're not that good with American geography either. I'm decently good with American geography. I'm not that good with it either. I'm just saying. I know relatively. Kingston thought Mexico, Kingston thought Mexico was in Ohio for like a good portion of the time that I do.

That's a simple mistake. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I, you ever heard of Ohio Mexico where all the freaking, I don't know. That's right. You know, you're right. All the fucking, I don't know, though. You're immediately forgiven.

Yeah, I forgive you immediately. Never mind. My point was dumb, actually. Did that Bradtacea music guy delete his fucking channel? No, it's still there. I just looked it up to see what people are saying. I can't find it. You have to scroll a little bit.

It's there. It's just buried under all the, you know. No, it's called Bratacea music. Okay, you're right. Okay, I just found it. You got to scroll down. It's crazy that. I got to scroll down this much.

Yeah. It's like 300 something thousand subscribers. Not small. Interesting. I'm looking at him with his face like superimposed on a thumbnail. I'm like, okay, yeah, that guy looks. I see the sinister vibe behind his eyes. There is a phenotype, unfortunately.

That does track. That's good. Anyway. Don't worry. Oh, my God. All right. So, yeah. So geography is soon as worst than lobotomy.

He wrote in. He says, cum dumpsters. Let's relax a little bit. Kind of crazy. Recently in episode 3.50, Chris was talking about Naruto and how it strayed from being about ninjas, which made him lose interest.

My own version of this is my first time playing a Metal Gear Solid game, which was Metal Gear Solid 5. Jesus Christ, that was your first one? That's insane. I had never interacted with the classics. Having no real idea about Hideo Kojima and his fentanyl spiked coffee-fueled writing, it was an uncomfortable

for me when fire kids and zombies seem to appear out of nowhere in what seemed to be a fairly normal, grounded, and competent action shooter game. What was your experience with something that completely threw your expectations for a loop? And how did it affect positively or negatively? Dude, Cabin in the Woods. Oh, God, yeah. Cabin in the Woods is like, this wasn't a negative thing. This is a positive thing.

But like, watching Cabin in the Woods for the first time and just like kind of getting that rug pulled out was like awesome. That was like a really good. The scene of Chris Hemsworth. with the bike. The bike. Oh, Chris Hemsworth? That's so good. That bike moment is like, I'm out of here, mate.

I guess, never mind. I'm the god of thunder, mate. I love how heroic it is. It's like that scene in, um, is it King Kong where the guy he's like trying to, he's trying to sacrifice himself with the belt of grenades. And then the fucking creature slaps him. And the creature slaps him. him into a mountain and then he explodes.

Is that King Kong or is it Jurassic? What is that? That's King Kong, the Skull Island. Oh, okay. All right. So it's Skull Island. Oh, so it's like a recent one. Yeah. Slaps that nigga into a fucking mountain. I haven't even seen. I haven't even seen that movie. I just know that clip.

It's hilarious. It is very funny. But it is very much that Cabin in the Woods moment. It's like almost like beat for beat like the writing of it is like this is Cabin. That reminds me of a rain of fire with mass. Matthew McConaughey. Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna.

And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to that, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah.

So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks.

Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital office, offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signatures Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only.

Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. He kind of has a... Oh, yeah. Because he's like almost seems like the main character. It's basically him and Christian Bale. And like, but Matthew McConae stands out so much more because this is the role that unlike anything he's ever taken

because his head is shaved bald he has a beard he's jacked he's like super American muscle man fighting dragons and then he grabs an axe at one point and jumps at a dragon and just eats him

and you're like oh like you think this guy was going to take down the dragon because he was so bad I just ate him it's like oh that was cool yeah

I don't know if there's anything I'm There's plenty of moments that like the metal gear solid. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. There's many moments that things get worse where it's like you're watching something and something happens. You're like, what the fuck? Why did this happen?

But like, I don't know. Metal Gear Solid is particular because like it's just like, like I said before is like, this is his depiction of American history. Like if Kojima was the writer of the universe, this is what American history looked like. And it'd be like, what the fuck is. I think at that moment, I'd be like, oh yeah, every country should be horrified of America. They should make a militia to stop them.

Because in Metal Gear Solid 5, if I'm, correct me if I'm wrong, isn't like the first, very first part of the game like you, you, you fire whale. That fired you, you meet him like immediately essentially. You're just escaping from the hospital, no? Or is there, is there something before that? Yeah, no, no. Yeah, it's, it's pretty immediate. So it's at the very beginning, like you're in the hospital and you're,

waking up and you're crawling through it and you're very defenseless and everybody's burning around you. There's a fire guy chasing you and you got to get the fuck out of there. That's the beginning of middle of years old five. Like that was this person. To me it's like, if I'm being honest, five is the worst.

Was it not like, five is the worst writing out of all of them. It's, uh, it's the only part that people, I don't agree part that people I think have a problem with is that the game ends like halfway through it. That's what usually people are like, what the fuck?

You think four is the worst writing? Yeah, for sure. I don't think it's... I don't think it's bad, by the way. I just think, like... So here's what I'm saying. Like, Metal Gear Solid 5 is like a lot of the writing is like... A lot of the story is in like...

It's almost like... It's almost done like Bioshock where there's like a lot of cassettes. And there's like a lot of like audio evidence that you have to find to get a lot of the story, which like a lot of people don't like I get it. I'm used to that from like Bioshock and other things. It's not traditional in the sense of like... The cutscenes don't tell you as much of what's going on in Middle Gersonal solid five than they typically would.

And so I think people are often, like, disappointed by that. And fair enough, I guess, honestly, to be fair, because you do miss a lot. But I don't think it means it's, like, badly written. I just think, like, a lot of it's, like, kind of obfuscated. It's more of a video game. You have to go and, like, really piece it. It's, like, Dark Souls in that way, where it's, like, a lot of the story is kind of, like, in the world, and you kind of have to find it and piece things together.

Four is just, like, a little bit... You can tell they're trying to wrap up a lot, and there's, like, that hour and a half-long cutscene where it's just, like, like, Like it's going like a mile a minute and some things don't really add up. I guess. It's fine. I think five has like the worst writing by far because it's genuinely not finished. I think that's why it's like this is where it falls on the wrong side because like you,

you get to the point where you finish outer heaven and then it stops telling you a story. And you're like, well, what the fuck? There's seven hours of gameplay left. And you're like, what's going on? And then it's like, oh yeah, you helped. Oh, you helped build outer heaven. And it's like, you're actually not even him. And I'm like, this is like dumb.

But I don't know. I also think riding is awesome in four. That's why I think his entire, everything about him in four is really cool. It's stupid. It's some shit I would have wrote when I was 13. I, like, it's got to be clear. I haven't played Milliger Solid Four in fucking forever. And I really only like watched the, like, the story like back then.

I don't really remember it that well. I like Millegers Solid. I think the combat is really. dog shitting for. I think the CQC is dog shit in four. One thing being old snake is fucking gay. You got to worry about his back, dude. He's like, oh, I'm too stressed.

Oh, my back hurts. I'm like, bro. I was like, nope, I'm good. I was like, he's old, man. He's old now. He's an old 38 year old, dude. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I will say, I do think five is like a terrible one to start with. If you're like, I, it plays the best so I get it. But like, I don't know. Even ground zero. I think would be better because it's like it's a little bit more

technically at least you can get some you can have an idea what the fuck's happening and five if you play ground zeros yeah without ground zeros you're really kind of my favorite part about ground zeros is the little boy

with a cassette player in his tummy yeah yeah well if you're trying to get someone trying to get someone to understand Metal Gear solid and giving them five first is hilarious

it's uh yeah it is very ridiculous I've only recently like the last couple of years gotten really into it. Because I used to just kind of like not, I don't know, I just wasn't feeling it. That makes it back in the day, but I think, uh, being a stealth guy that you didn't get into Metal Gear. Well, well, the thing to me was that like, because I wanted, I was more into Splinter Cell.

Yeah, right, right. And like, I was more into Splinter Cell and something like, uh, I don't know, things like, Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambata. We discussed his vision. for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms,

coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.

Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first Volt-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway.

It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, or Ida, Silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meats, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive-up and go pick-up or delivery. Restrictions apply.

See website for full terms and conditions. More like fan, like, oh my God, thief or something. You know what I mean? We're like, it's stealth but fantasy or stealth but like military. And like I think Metal Gear was like kind of like this mix of like, okay, it's, it's military. But like, it's fucking weird. And, like, I don't know what the fuck this. This, yeah, it was like, it was like, this guy's floating down the hallway.

And he's like, he's, the psychomantis, like, floating, floating around. And I'm like, I don't know. It's very Japanese. It's very late. I don't know what to make of this. I, I, it's too, it's too weird for me. I got over that eventually. But, um, initially when I was a kid, it was kind of off putting.

Yeah. I don't know how, I don't know how, I don't know how seriously I can take this. And also just like, to be splinters, I was just a lot more like, immersive because it felt more grounded. It felt like, oh, this could really be happening. And I still honestly think those first three-smobile-stall games are like, technically they're better stealth games.

Probably. The stories. They're better stealth games. They're less good games. They're less good like video games. They're better stealth games. Oh, yeah, for sure. Because they're all stealth. They're all just, you don't fight a mech. Yeah, you don't fight. No metal gear.

No fucking ninjas. No. You don't get a sword and deflect bullets. Freaks. No giant black men with huge guns. Like there's no, none of that cool shit. I fucking love.

What I think is interesting is that they all, man. Yeah. No, I think now I like it probably more. Also because like we've had no, Splunzel has had no love at all. Like there's not even a remake, not they don't have like a remaster or like anything like that. So I think,

yeah, probably in my memory now. Metal Gear Solid for me is a game franchise that if I didn't play it when I was younger, I would not be able to stand it right now. I am glad I played it when I was young before I like stepped out of like the Japanese means of like storytelling for me. Because if I'm like, this is ridiculous now. I think it's refreshing now I'm like, oh, this shit is crazy.

I think I would have liked it more just because I didn't understand anything about the military when I played it. I didn't like, I didn't get any type of like relevancy to the era that it was playing out and right. None of that stuff was, I just like the cool character. and the music. That was like the biggest thing. The music and the cool characters.

I just wanted to be Grey Fox. That's it. I wanted to be Grey Fox so bad when I was. I can't wait for them to remake that shit. And like I want to see his heroism. Like I like, there's a lot of parts I want to see like, I don't want to spoil it.

So I don't want to say if anyone hasn't played it. Especially in five, they talk about Fox so much. And you're like, oh, he's so cool. And you never get to see him be cool. Because the only other time you see him, he's 32 polygons.

the thing about it is that like I think I like it more now because I do have that historical kind of context of just like oh I know what era this is like I know what is happening I know who's president while this is happening and I like alternate history shit

like that's always I think it's what Assassin's Creed was so cool about early on was like this kind of like oh yeah fucking whatever you know Leonardo da Vinci and he's building you shit like cool that's fun and I

And to be fair, like, I do think Belgrade Solid 5 is probably like, as far as like a stealth game, it's better than any Splinter. So like that's like probably the top tier fucking. That game's unbelievably good. I definitely like the, uh, the crouching and prone mechanics. It's better than anything that's really come across before because I'm like, oh, I actually feel more like I can do proper things a human can do. You know, it's just nice. Right, yeah. Yeah, Velik Salad 3 was frustrating, like, the original one where like you could only create. Crouch or crawl or walk.

Yeah, you don't, the, the remake's good about it. Like, you can crouch walk finally. Jesus. Gotcha. I love, I love the dog. I love the dog in five. That was the best part of the game. Oh, yeah, D dog.

I love that he had an eyepatch too. I love that someone wrote that and nothing wasn't like, take this out the fucking. This is a worst dog. What do you mean? Cogima's interesting. He's like, he's like, if a one piece writer wrote American history, that's Cojima. It's like if someone made one piece Like let's just make America

And it's like Yeah If if G.I. Joe If G.I. Joe is for adults. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Where's just like this is absurd.

There's even just like Oh, Cobra unit. Absolutely. You know? It's completely fucking absurd. Actually. Yeah. Yeah.

It's awesome. I love it though. Like I'd say give it another Give it another chance. I would say actually try Delta. It's really good. Try it. Genuinely.

It's more clunky than five for sure. But like it'll, It gets you on board with the crazy stuff way quicker. It's a little bit, it's also like technically more grounded than five because five is is. Five is outrageous. Five is outrageous. It's the last one. So of course it's outrageous.

It's funny because Delta, you use more of a box. Use the box more. So I play Delta. You use the box. I haven't used the box at all. Why haven't used the box? Because it's just. To me, I'm going.

It's so funny. If you didn't grow up with it, MGS. then the box doesn't mean anything. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI,

coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?

There will come a point, when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.

To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertson's and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only.

Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. There's no significance to it because it's all nostalgia at this point because the box was cool in metal good solid. And then it's like, hey, remember the box? One. Yeah, it's like MGS. That's the only medical, yeah, like, I love the box, man. I love the box in three. It was hilarious. They would fool for it. They'd

come up to me and he'd be like, I wonder what's happening. And I'd blow their brains out. My favorite thing is the, my favorite thing is the porn magazine. Yeah. You just put on the ground. And then they're like, oh, my God, I've been in the jungle for so many weeks. Bussing immediately. They freak out. Oh, my God.

They're so, you can walk up to them. You can sprint up to them full speed while they're watching the port while they're looking at the port magazine and they don't notice you it's hysterical I love it great game they're so horny they can't help it I'm so horny I'm so horny 154 we'll do we'll do one more

I'm so wildly horny I'm so wildly horny solid snake I'm horny press a button what is this Paladin of Pain wrote it he says hello Timon Pumba and Mr. Moseby I propose a very simple hypothetical for your primate minds to ponder

press a button and Charlamagne the god explodes or do not press the button and he does not explode discuss I press the button twice Also sweetie what is your favorite title of the creator album? You can't have you can't have that's crazy The contrast is crazy too

That's also like completely nothing They're not even remotely connected You're trying to cheat My favorite Tyler credit album is easily It's easily Nope nope, no no no Don't answer it. He's cheating Not easily

Don't answer he's cheating Paladin of Pannies. He's using his palatting magic to shoot. Sorry, man. I would say flower boy or wolf. It can be two questions, but it has to be chained, man. It can't be like, it has to be about Charlemagne still. And then it's like, okay. Yeah. If Charlamagne de God asked you, what was your favorite outside of him?

Yeah, see? Perfect. Some smart ass would absolutely do that. Yeah, for sure. I hate Charlema and God. I can't stand that guy. Does anybody actually like him? Let's be real.

I like him. I like a sex past. Fuck up. He's also been like I think he's beautiful I mean he does have these beautiful Egyptian like eyelashes or something Like people think he's like

I think he's like Egyptian god or something He's like Cleopatra or something Yeah He's like he's like Cleopatra if like Someone from a deep south drew her Like oh just What does he call Kim Jeffries? Because I did thought I thought it was funny

He calls him O two Apex secure Yeah That is funny. That's good. I don't think he can take credit for that though because I saw that. Oh, so he saw it from somebody else.

Going around. Like he definitely got that from someone. Okay, got you. But. Okay. What happened to me? Chris died. Can you hear me?

Chris got new. Can you guys hear me? I forgot to. Did you imagine the wave is getting to me? Yeah. Oh, God damn it. What is this? Oh, man.

Oh, he's not newt. I was positive. I was so confident that he actually. got a nuke. Can you guys? I was nervous. I was nervous. I was like,

oh man, hopefully doesn't end up over here. A precision nuke strike. Oh, man. A bite size nuke. Yeah, like you got like a, the,

yeah, a mini nuke. Ah. Yeah, my web, my webcam has been doing this lately. I don't know what the fuck's going. I got.

Probably overheating. A miniature nuke is like, you know. Maybe. How much is a nuke is like? All right. Well, a nuke decides of an iPhone.

Are we still recording? Yeah, we're good Yeah We should Let's pause this one Just not our local Let's pause the one on This so I can just

Unplug this and reset it up This is really stupid It wouldn't It would would what Would it didn't work if you just I don't know Well we can try Yeah if a fuck

So we're not gonna pause our native No we're not gonna pause yet We'll see if he because he just needs to Replug unplug Because he can just like join right back in. That's true. Oh yeah, I guess I could.

Yeah. God damn it. Yeah, so what about, what about those? What about those Lakers, man? My bed is like a mess right now, man. OCD wants me to clean my bed, but I'm not going to do it. OCD? You don't have OCD.

You don't have OCD. You got Lily E. I don't have it. I don't. Clean the room, nigger. It's me, Lily. Clean the room, nigger. She's never.

called me that word. I'm very happy because if she did, I think I'd fall out of love with her. Oh, you would scream like that bread, dude? Nah, I would just leave. I don't know. I'm not above that. I'm not above just like, all right, I'm a dip. Just getting out. Like if I'm not the kind of guy that's like going to stay with something I hate. The moment I'm like, oh, I hate this. I'm like, I'm like, I, bro. Well, see, middle of the night, she wakes up and all my stuff is gone. That's crazy. Would you, uh, I don't deal bullshit. Would you, would you, would you, uh, ever? Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell. well, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing.

At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.

I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the seat. season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signatures Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Like, say if she was wailing on you in the face, would you return one, at least one? No.

Why? Why? I'd push her, though. I would push her, though. I would push her off me. Are you one of those people that's like, oh, I can't hit a woman? All right. No, I'm not hitting someone that I'm like definitely. I'm not going to put my hands on someone that I'm definitely stronger or like more physically imposing.

Okay, she has a baseball bat. Unless they're like actively like, like if I'm fighting someone like Floyd Mayweather, then I'm going to try to kill him. I'm going to try to grapple him and arm bar him and break his honor and ruin his life. Lily has two baseball bats. What are you doing? neutralizer. I'm going to grab the baseball bat and try to take it away from her. She cracks you one good one beside the head that really hurt.

Well, then I'm already halfway cooked. Your eye fell out. If she gets one good hit with a baseball bat, I'm already more than halfway out the fight. It's, it's, so I'm panicking. You, you, uh, you, you, uh, you, you, uh, you, you, uh, you moved with it. So, you know, you didn't take the full brunt, right? So you kind of like, all right, boom. Derek, Derek, if I sway out of the way for a hit with a baseball and still

makes contact. It's just a little contact. Little contact. I'm still getting mad. It hurt. You're still with it. How do you neutralize it? Grabber.

Go for the chokehold. Probably try to choke her lightly. Choker lightly. She passes out. Choker lightly. A light underarm overhand, you know, apply pressure. Apply pressure.

Flex the muscle, apply pressure. And then just leave her there and be like, I'm moving out. And then since you didn't really neutralize her, she calls the cops and you were big black man to get blasted. That's insane.

You see? You know, it's crazy? I think her parents would believe me if I said that happened. I think they would believe. They would still side with her, but they would believe like, oh, yeah,

it's probably Lily's. Oh, Lily's fault, but we're still going to kill you because you killed her. We're still going to side with our daughter because she's our daughter.

You're going to side with the ghost of Lily and get vengeance upon you. I'm not going to kill her to hell. I don't got killing my blood, bro. I think that kind of bad. We'll get it out of you. Well,

either we're going to have you kill or kill yourself. We'll figure it out. one of these days. So Chris is back. Either you or kill yourself. You figure it out. You got three years.

One thing I wanted to bring up. 38. 38. I'm going to 30. Double for bubble. No trouble road. It's a hell of super straight. It's not a question, but some clarification. Mosquitoes are necessary to the environment because they're food for animals that mainly eat mosquitoes,

such as birds, and their diseases help thin the population of animals that would spread even worse. disease. If I flipped, if I flipped right now, you wouldn't even know. If I flipped right now, you wouldn't even know. I don't know what that means. But I disagree. So we're going to move on to, I just, there's no, you can't convince me really. Like, I'm sure, even if that was true, I'm like, I'll gladly take the other diseases. There's a reason why they're here. I think that's obvious for me. It's like, there's a little. If there wasn't reason they're here, they wouldn't be here. That's it. That's like the main thing. We will neutralize them.

them. We've been trying to already. Well, we've neutralized the significant amount of them by,

do you see the one, do you see the thing that we're doing now to these things where like we genetically engineered them to have like noses that can't

penetrate skin. I haven't seen that. The, like there's been like, uh, they can't have babies. We fucked up their like their,

their baby making process. They're, they're mating with, uh, sterile like they're, uh, they're sterilizing them. Yeah,

it's great. It's crazy. There's a video of a, of a flat. Acid mosquito and it is crazy like apparently we've been like genetically engineering them and like I guess it's like something where like you genetically engineer one and then it mates with In like a nest or whatever and then it like spreads it but like a lot of the mosquitoes are then born with With noses that can't penetrate skin so they can't do like oh I'm fucked

That's crazy. But look at this video like look at yeah look at this this is one where like uh it's in the chat now, but this is like a video. It's got stupid sound effects for no reason, but this is the only video version of the video that I can find. That feels so un-lakee. Damn.

Is that crazy? You can see it trying to stiffen up, too. You can see it trying to like do it and trying to like fix it. Hey, oh, hey, look at that. It's trying to fix it. Like, hey. Look at how stressed out it is.

That's crazy. Because it's so hungry. What a pussy. That feels really not okay, but whatever. I'm all right. I'm right. It's, uh, it's, uh, like, it feels like, oh, this is like not good.

Like, you shouldn't do that. But also, hey, whatever, you know. It's, it's technically cool, but, you know, they were cruel first. So it's like, declawing cat is like, oh, that's like really. Declying cats is insane. I'm like, don't have a fucking cat, bro. What's like, okay, cool. Why do you have a cat?

You fucking retard. For me, it's crazy. People have cats and they get mad about them destroying so they just don't get them a scratching post for literally for them to do that. Yeah. You can just get them up thing that they are. they want to scratch, but it's like, okay, cool. The vast majority of people have pets don't,

shouldn't have them, so. You should have to pass a test to be able to have pets or have children, actually. It's the main reason, it's the main reason I don't have one is because I'm just like, I don't know if I can have one. I just don't want to take care of one right now, so that's why I don't have one. I desperately want one.

I want a dog so bad. That dog's going to suck so bad. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new, director of research, Jake Embatta, we discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with

just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature.

Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals.

Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. I like dogs.

Like, whenever I visit Jojo, it's nice. You know what I mean? I want a dog so bad. I just like seeing motherfuckers that, like, you know, their dogs are, like, dope. They get sunshine every day. that you know it's loved it's it's proper you ain't gonna have no arthritis it ain't full of anxiety and shit i'm like oh that's a that's a nice loved dog great it takes a lot of energy to do that man yeah and most people don't understand that people don't do it and they just like oh i just want this thing

and then it's just there and then that thing sucks i'm like all right cool a big ass dog that isn't good at socializing and it's fucking trying to bite big ass dog in my apartment complex in the small ass apartments i'm like bro come on you really you really you really it's not even it's not even you're not even supposed to have it it's like oh the maximum is like whatever then I'm like that dog's way heavier yeah

it's all good though whatever all right all right so yeah we're gonna read we're gonna wrap things up we're gonna read the names of our $25 and a patrons now remember you can go to patreon.com

slash snarkank you can join up and you can again add free episodes early access to every episode exclusive episodes, Starcank. Shop for merch, all that jazz.

And you can get your name right at the end of the show. If you, if you, if you want to derail the conversation even further, just jump on over there. So, uh...

Yay. Count me down, I suppose. Three, two, and one. Cobeba. I met David Hader yesterday and got signed shit.

Hell yeah. He signed your shit? I can't believe he wrote fucking Watchman. And like, And X-Men, right? Yeah. Yeah.

He wrote both of them. That's hilarious. That's absurd today. I wrote it. It's actually fucking great. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I'm sorry. We're stupid.

Yeah, thank you. God. Snark tanks. That's all it takes really now. Like, you see that video that, what is it, Joe Rogan getting convinced that this video of Tim Walts dancing galley down an escalator was real? He was like, it doesn't take much. anymore. Like, you could just say like, yeah, actually, I wrote

Watchman. It's like, weren't you 15? Yeah. And you're just like, yeah, whatever. He was like arguing with his guest. Who was the guest? I don't remember. Oh, it was Tim Dillon. It was Tim Dylan. And he was like, uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure that's fake. He's like, no. He's like arguing with him. Joe, with all his heart, is, thinks that dancing gay Tim Wall's video of him, what was the shirt said something

stupid on it like fuck Trump or oh fuck Trump it said fuck Trump yeah and I'm like you really think a politician the governor of Minnesota is doing that like what the fuck is wrong with you you can even watch the video you could just tell just like for the basic first of all the shirt obviously gives it away but then just like

the dude is moving like he's fucking like he's a cartil like it's Pixar yeah and if I like it's not if I remember correctly Jamie even said there's a tag that let you know that it was generated. And like, it couldn't be more obvious.

It literally could not be more obvious. Cannot make this shit up. And he's like, no, he's pushing back. Tim, Tim, Dylan,

you're wrong. I, I promise you, it's real. I'm like, that's, that's, like,

I'm just saying, even if he didn't have all those obvious caveats of it wiggling, the tag, Just everything. The governor of a state doing that. Like, come on. Show me an example of a politician doing that in any point in history.

Like, it's like, come on, dude. What the for you can't? How are you that stupid? He's done, man. He's cooked. Everybody over 50 is just fucked. They're cooked. They just don't know how to determine basic shit.

Yeah. I want to AI generate a bunch of like, footage of me beating Joe Rogan in a fight I don't remember that and then just be like When did that happen? Well no it's not a lie It's just

Jamie when did this happen? When did this guy beat me? I don't understand like He must be really good When did Chris Reagan shoot me in a better? Jamie how am I alive? I want to tag him I want to tag him in the video

and be like yo get me on the show I'm the biggest comedian in the world trust me, don't let it up. Oh, man. Anyway. God. Star Tank's number one geriatric superfan.

The dead spider. Bubble bass head. I was at the dead sniper because I'm fighting the end right now in the fucking game. My grandma tried to traffic me to St. Lucia at four. Dr. House aristocratting

your entire family in front of you somehow cures your blindness. Well, that would be something. Following Derek around like an anime-man studio animation? Anaman Studio. These are what is that? These are deep

references you guys are making. Anim-an-an-man I concur. Oh, behave. What are you doing? Stop. He watches Austin Powers and jacks off. That's fucking...

I watch everything in jack-off, Derek off. Fair enough. You're behind. What's the house of... This isn't even a real... What? This isn't even a real fucking thing. Did it like auto-correct or something?

I think he might have just like... Yeah, man. Well, I know what I expected. Delta Gamma. Literally fed this toddler last week. Why is it still crying? Squimp his bugs. Clamuel Esquire the 3rd.

I'll bet $250 that Ben Shapiro eats his own com. You'd be right. It's for recycling It's a sin It's a sin to waste genetic material What's the matter? Oh, you moved So you moved your mouth

And I didn't hear anything Oh yeah, that was my bad I was muted I was muted And so it really It really fucked with me I thought my computer was dying or something Usur

Guildmaster Snartank Snuggs hung as trans girl Now it did Colin Moriarty, Burger Fucker, Burger Fucker Troll. Nice. Daltono, Malboja, you dirty N-word. I'm going to kill the president with a mortar.

Dyslexic Ethan Klein kicking my ass at the grocery store for buying hummus. Nice. Beats the brakes off of him. Do you see that Olivia girl quit or something? Or like she's like... Oh, A.B's... Oh, wait, no, that's a different one. No, no, that's...

I remember. She was the one that was. like, oh, did you hear why? I think it's because of the Pito Troll stuff, I think. She hasn't been on the show since the Pito. Oh, I hope so. I massive respect if she actually quit for that reason. I love how he just had that.

He just knew he did that the time and he was like. That nigga just didn't even, I mean, even when he's brought up, he didn't he was like, I have nothing to apologize for it. I'm like, oh, you can't do anything with that. Like if someone is all unapologetic about being in fucking mid-20s and being like, yeah, and seeing all this dumb-ass fans, even people that, that like, you know, every once in a while I would watch this stream that they would shit on Ethan Ralph.

Like, those guys brought it up and then they swept it the same way like the other fucking parasycial people did. It was 15 years ago, not a big deal. And I'm like, oh, yeah. Okay. People are too terminally online. It's crazy. You know what I mean?

Like, it's like they don't go outside. They don't speak with like normal people. They only speak with like. Like I saw a video recently of like, um, um, um, um, this guy, he's making a video about like Ian and Anisa or whatever. And he said something like, oh, I think Ian could like, I think Ian could come back with one in one foul soup if he made content cop Anisa. And he goes like, wouldn't that be cool? And it's like, you're 30.

Like if an adult man made a content cop on his ex-wife after their relationship. didn't work out, it would be in a sane world, that would be the most pathetic thing that a person could do. But aren't they, they're together though. Not the most, right? They're still together though.

Yeah. No, but that's what I mean. It's like under the, I think it was like, if they get divorced, like wouldn't it be so cool? If they did it. And it's like, no, that's like 15 year old. Like, that's like a 15 year old's idea of what awesome is.

I miss this guy's content. I wish they would get divorced. and then everything would be better. That's literally like a child. You're right, dude. That's literally how a child thinks like, oh, well, if this, like, you know, parents get divorced or something happens, you're like, if this and this happens, everything will be perfect. And the child tries something and they're like, something you don't understand.

And the kid gets killed like a car accident, isn't like that? I mean, that is so crazy, man. I did see something. I only saw one thing because, like, they moved or something. And then people were like, oh, they lost money on a house. And I'm like, yeah, that is so. normal when selling almost anything like you get lucky if you can make either your money back you break even or you get lucky in the market's good and you make more money but a lot of times

people depending on how quickly they want to move or anything you will have a discount that is so fucking insanely normal that the fact that these parasocial people are trying to make it a thing at all that i'm like it's very parasit the obsession the obsession with ian's relationship reminds me a lot of like it's the same way that i feel about people who like i saw a video some lady on a um on the news, like a news anchor, like in the middle of a broadcast, being like, oh, Taylor Swift just got engaged. And I'm just like, you, it's the same level of like, why do you, why does anybody care to this degree about a relationship that has nothing to do with it?

It's fucking creepy. It's weird. It's like, it's arrested development. Yeah. Like I just, I don't, I can't relate to it. Also, it's just like, it would be so pathetic, man. That would be so pathetic to make an exposed video on your ex-wife. Like, what do you, like, that's so lame.

Like, your ex-wife would have to be literally, like, horrible. Like, you would literally have to, like, eat babies behind your back and you didn't even know. You know, for that to even be remotely worth it. And even then, go to the police. Right, right, right. Like, what? Like, I don't know.

That type of shit is being normalized, though, because, like, what was it when, um, Noah Samson did some shit, and then they had Noah Samson's X on the H3 podcast. Like this type of behavior is being normalized. I'm like, dude, that is so highly pathetic. And these people are still here. Everybody. And then again, petro-troll happens, and nobody left other than maybe one worker. I'm like, I promise you guys, I'm going to tell you this right now.

If one of you guys had an account like that, I'd be like, I don't want to do business with you. I just, I'm sorry. I don't want to be associated with that type of shit. Like, it's very simple. It's very common sense. Especially like, like, there's, there's a fine line with the age that that's appropriate at. To the extent that it's appropriate. It's obviously inappropriate the entire time, right?

But you're 14 or whatever. Like, I wasn't doing this shit at 14, but like, you're 14, you're 15, you're stupid. You don't know shit about anything. You don't really think anything's a big deal. fucking whatever. Dude's like 25 doing it. I don't know, man. I can't, dude.

I don't know. And then the ultimate reality of it is like, for me, it comes down to like the actual detriment that it does to do that. To like the actual real world constant. It's not so much that being edgy and pretending to be a pedophile in and of itself is like damaging. it's the fact that like in an isolated chamber like that's a weird thing to do first off it's just a weird fucking character trait to have

but the reality is like if you do that and you're out there in public spaces all you are doing is muddying the water for people who are trying to find people who are actually guilty of these things and you're

providing cover essentially for dangerous people. Why? If everybody, it's like I am Spartacus, but like I am the rapist. It's like,

why are you, why are you pretending to be a rapist or a pedophile? It, nah, not cool at all, dude. That was my thing,

that was the point that I was trying to make, right, when I was trying to say, I'm not gonna, I don't want this dude. And it worked though, because I saw many people reiterating the same shit he was saying.

He was like, oh, what destiny was doing so much worse. I'm like, I think, at the very minimum it's on the same level because you are promoting it

and not even just I'm talking about little children like we're talking about real extreme pedophila the type of words if any of people saw the post that he was doing Right so you're talking about

You're talking about the comparison Because that was the whole thing that he was more about like 17 In his fucking defense He was like What Destiny did because he used the word CP And what comes to mind when you think of CP You're thinking of pictures of like fucking

literal children versus a minor who like someone who's 17 and a half is a minor you feel me and I'm like don't I was like fuck you you're not going to weasel your way out of this with words bro like I think you guys are both very

despicable and trying to oh I was like bro fuck you and and I'm glad if Olivia if she left because of that like it took you long enough but hey yeah sure sure yeah like I'll say this. I do, I'll say this.

I think, I think destiny is worse. But it's not even, it's a, it. Neither one of these people. If you're talking about overall and what, what, like, if you're talking about overall, I couldn't agree. It's not even close in my opinion that destiny is, is worse. In my opinion. Sure.

Just because of what I know that destiny is actually doing when it pertains to. Destiny is getting paid to fucking, you know, downplay genocide. Like, I, I will, I am positive. If motherfucker was like, I'm gonna take you to court. I'm like, oh, great, discovery. We'll find out who's paying you. Like, I, because the only people that are speaking the way he is or downplaying shit are all getting paid.

Just like, oh, David Pacman, all those people got exposed, that they were taking dark money, you know, to behave a certain way. Oh, why weren't the. Oh, I did see something about that. What was the whole thing about that? I wish I remembered this, because that was the one thing that happened that I wish I would love to have led with that. Because it was just a company called KORIS was paying some progressive influencers money. Different levels. Like I think David Packman was getting like $8,000 a month or something like that.

Nothing to scuff at is a decent amount of money. But not compared to like Trump pulls Russia hundreds of thousands of month, right? But like still, these people are getting money to behave a certain way. And it's very interesting that the people who are extremely pro-Palestan, Dine and all this stuff did not get approached by these people. They didn't even get asked. The certain people like David Pacman got and it's like, oh, no wonder why this guy won't touch Gaza, you know, like he talked about it before and people were like, fuck you, bro.

And he's like, I'm just not going to talk about it anymore. And I'm like, I wonder why. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it is kind of wild. And so like, I don't remember my initial point. Oh, I was just saying like it's, to me it's very clear that destiny, just like many of these other people are getting paid to act and behave. certain way. Some people made the counter

argument saying that like, oh no, I think he's just insane and he just hates Hassan that much so he's taking this route. It's impossible, but I'm just being more Occam's razor. I imagine he's getting paid. Sure. But I wouldn't put it past him that he seems kind of crazy. I actually I don't know. I think he...

I don't know for sure. Like, I can't really say. I would say that I would say he strikes me in somebody. You would go crazy more than he's getting paid. I think so. Because I think he his lifestyle isn't crazy like I don't know I if someone

it's not beyond possibility I just don't know if I necessarily believe I think I think it's easily explained that he's just kind of like because he's been unhinged for you're right I'm not even I'm not even gonna say I was just thinking of more like oh money makes people act a certain way

why I was just thinking more of an Occam's Razor thing but like the if you're thinking of just people in general but like okay he's not a general or a person, right? So I wouldn't be surprised if it was literally just a hate vendetta because I think that's what Ethan's doing actually. Because there was people actually trying to say, oh, he's doing this for clout.

Like he's going crazy with the sign because it's building his numbers. And I'm like, I actually guarantee you that he lost a significant amount of his audience. Like a lot of normies that are just like actually that feel bad for Palestine probably left. Probably, but it's offset by the, you got a smaller but more. loyal are they giving them money i feel like a lot of those people that hate palestinians aren't giving them any fucking money i i i think maybe i don't know i i think i think i i don't have any data suggest this necessarily but i just feel like i feel like i feel like i feel like i've gotten the vibe that like a lot of people thrive on smaller audiences that are a little bit more

um i guess i don't know what the word is like worshipy loyal like it's just like this is like this content creator is my entire personality right like this is like I'll wear their merch oh where they're like teddy fresh it's all like I love it you know and it kind of becomes where it's like yeah we're reaching less people overall but the people that we do have they almost view us like well we they have to support us because like we symbolize like going against the grain like like buying our merch is actually fighting the system perhaps you know what I mean it's like it's like it's actually it's actually actually fighting, it's fighting the haters, as opposed to like just having a broad appeal, like, I don't know, Good Mythical Morning or something like that, where like, they make a lot of money, I'm sure. And they're like very wide appeal. But like no one's like, I've got to buy that merch to stand for something or like to signify like a stance on certain things. And people take that shit seriously. It's the same reason why like you got those fucking people with Trump where it's like they got the bumper stickers and the hats and, you know, there's probably few, there's probably not

as many people with that shit as it feels. Right. But the people who have that shit. It is a minority within the conservative population. The MAGA MAGA is, but yeah. To your point, I completely understand that

and it maybe is that like you said, like it offset it. Maybe that is what's happening. And I just wonder, I guess to the same question, is it, is he doing it motivated by money or is it purely event? It might have morphed into both, of course, but like

it's probably yeah it's it's just so fucking unfortunate it just sucks yes I didn't get off for fucking nothing

no that's the thing it's like no I don't know anyone any of the people that are kind of chill or on the level I was like bro did anybody get emails

I've seen nobody come out other than like Taylor Lorenz unearthed some people and it was like people that a lot of them that I also who the fuck are these people

and I think that's kind of the point. They're like these poppy people that would just take money and they'll say fucking anything essentially because I didn't know some of the bigger creators that were offered. I know David Pacman, but like some of the other ones I don't know these people.

Yeah, I don't know. But people that have even much larger audiences who are actually leading the charge like the majority report's doing well now. You know, they, for their while they're kind of a little iffy but then since the current administration they're getting a lot more that the Midas touch obviously blew

the fuck up. Kyle Klinskiy's doing better than None of these people got approached. You think you would go after the biggest fucking people. Like Edward Gregorian did to like Tim Poole, because Tim Poole's one of the biggest people. Oh, yeah. I should say Edward Grigory with quotations. The fake billionaire.

That's shit so funny. I love that. Anyway. Anyway, yeah, Trump desperately jelking with 45 pounds for two centimeters. Two rats in a trench coat. Sam Porter Bishes. Cross me again and I'll invert your teeth, I swear. Sween chest deep in his ass looking for who asked.

Bars. Jesus Christ. Berserker Beatles, big bouncy backside, reckless rhino, the Sloker 2, Why So Derpy? You've heard of the jitterbug. I have an idea where this is going. Just, just, just, just, just. Now get ready. Do it.

For the N-word bug. Should have said it's real name. Is it actually spelled out? No, he just wrote NIG. He wants me to think it. Mission accomplished. Mission accomplished. He did it.

Kingston's extra chromosome. Chinese girl covering rap songs on Instagram. That sounds awesome. I follow her. I follow her. I have not heard of her. The reason why she bloop is because she's unafraid to say the N-word. Completely unshaken.

Do you know what it is? If you just put in Chinese girl cover. If you just... I wasn't saying crazy. I wasn't something truly insane. I'm not gonna let that. She has no filter and people like that. It's semi- adorable, but I will...

The gimmick gets old really quick, as all I'll say. Like, uh, I... Yeah, I mean, I would imagine. Yeah. It's like one trick kind of thing. It is, but, you know, the thing is she's, she's attractive too. So obviously it's good. She's going to continue to grow.

Like, people are like, She's like, oh, little cute Asian girl that has a, basically she's like English, you know? Chinese rap girl. I can't find this. Let me see if I can just, I don't know her name. It's all finished. Oh, let me go to. Have you heard the guy that does the raccoon rap?

I'm going to go to the, I just, I know I recently followed her within the last month or so, so it should be in my. Oh, what the fuck happened? My Instagram was perfectly fine yesterday. and now it's back to it's back to goon it reset well that's your fault that's your fault

I swear to God I don't do shit on this I fixed it it reset man it's just what it does okay Buzz B U Z

H-I so Buzz He Dow 5 underscore 5 so I bet if you put in Buzz Buzz he dow B-U Z H-I-D-O

I bet it'll pop up really fast B-H-I-D-O B-U-Z-H-I-E-A-O? Yeah, it should pop up. Yeah. Oh, I see. Okay.

What the hell? And she just, she just rap and then, you know, and then obviously the songs that have niggin, it do the best. They pop off the most, obviously. That's so funny. I heard that. Hey, man. I mean, okay. I really I honestly

I don't like in the context of a song I really don't care like I just I don't know like I know people get weird about like and I get why people do it but like when they're like karaoke or whatever I'm just like I don't know man It's crazy it's uh I actually don't like saying it in songs

Which is crazy that's you are so stupid Which is insane no no I'm not even entertaining what you're saying No no it's I agree it's dumb I actually only like saying it to make people up set, which is worse. It is worse. So you only like saying it. You don't like, you don't like saying it in the context where it actually like enriches

an experience for everybody actually. Like the only context where it would actually be like, oh, nice. Yeah. You're actually like, oh, no, no, no, no. I just want to say it in church. Yeah, absolutely. Hell yeah. Say it in church.

It's so frustrating. Praise the Lord, nigger. I love. don't say it in songs really. It's actually fucking it is ass backwards. I would admit that. It is completely ass backwards. But it's like I don't like saying it unless I'm saying it to upset

people. I will say like if ever I've been like listening to like any kind of rap song and it's like on the playlist while I'm cleaning, I'm definitely not not saying it. If it comes up in the song. Like it's ridiculous. You got to look around. Like if I'm especially especially I know people who do that when they're by themselves

and they're just like they'll they'll censor for themselves like what do you come on like relax a little bit like lighten the fuck up i'm fine with however people want to play it i i really don't care either way sure i mean it's it's not it's not a real right just don't call me that when we're arguing that's it's it all that's my only line if we're arguing with me and you call me i'm arguing with you're punching oh it's just like anything else other than that i don't care about it read the room like anything else that's really the only thing it was like that uh that one chick at the the kandric concert that blew up remember that man down

No. Where are you from? Nigger. You know, fuck. She said it on stage. Yeah, I was like, I was like, ah, I could read the room lady, you know. Yeah, you shouldn't do it on stage. Kendrick shouldn't have brought her on stage. I kind of blame Kendrick a little bit for that. And I think he, and he acknowledges it too in his record.

It was definitely one of those things where it's like, to me, it's almost like that stupid argument we had a little while ago. It's like, oh, everybody kind of just assumed everything was fine because you would probably think in your head like, oh, well, she's clearly not going to say it. So there's no need for me to say anything. It was just one of those things where it's like, oh, well, I guess in hindsight, I should have been like, hey, yo. It's like the, it's like the MMA guy. They didn't, they didn't.

And that's exactly what I was saying. That's exactly what I was saying. It was like, it just, we assume we made too many assumptions. It happens. That's what happens. It happens all the time where you're like, oh, this is clearly not going to be a problem. Let's not talk about it. And it's like, no, clearly we got to talk about it.

Isn't that wild? How many times, how many times have that experience where like you don't say something, you don't tell something, you don't tell somebody something obvious because you're like, I don't want to insult them. Yes, yes. And then it happens literally that. By asking them to not, by asking them to not do something or to not like, hey, don't bring this up. It's obviously. And then it just happens and you're like, how?

And then low and fucking behold. Low and behold. It's like, well. That's how, that's, that's the canary in the coal mine, by the way, that like kind of gave it away to me that people were getting stupider. was that like, you can't rely on people to have common sense even in those situations anymore.

I think you can't allow to have the same train of thought as you. I think unfortunately, you can't have people that's just stupid. That's what it is. It's literally common sense shit.

Don't, yeah, like, hey, it's a wedding. Don't bring up the X. Don't bring up the dead son. You know, don't bring up the dog that just perished. Dude, I had a guy, I had to go to court one time

and there was a guy that got kicked out because he came in flip-flops and fucking sleevelish and it's like you feel like you should fucking know better but some people are that stupid they just don't

see that famous that you see that famous video the guy who's like he got like a suspended driver's license and he had to phone in to the courtroom and he was driving driving yeah you know I will say there was more to that story though

interesting enough there was he wasn't he wasn't as stupid as he appeared that's all I can't remember what it was but there was a follow-up and why he was his stupid confused face was there was actually

real confusing because for some reason like his license shouldn't have been suspended or something something happened that like there was a follow-up that nobody of course the cycle it was already gone and uh regardless though you're actually even regardless

with this thing like you're not supposed to be driving regardless even if your license spin or not so no matter what it's fucking I remember one time I had to call I was just in my car parked and I it was just a teleth thing for the doctor and they're like oh I'm sorry you can't talk

to you why you're even in your car and I'm like nigger I'm not moving but it's like oh just for it's just our procedure and I'm like god damn it bro I like I need to run errands but it is what it is I get it air on the side of caution I get it yes people don't do that it blows my mind it's like why just be safe

like now I don't even care about like hope he was feeling it's like I should probably tell somebody this is something or like when something happened someone's talking sound up like it just shut up just like shut up yeah because you're gonna make things worse just please just shut up I'll embarrass you in front of people to unfortunately prevent things from getting way worse yeah and you'll learn did you forget to lock the door did you lock the door Kingston like yes bitch and then a fucking bear bust in there because he actually forgot.

It's like that. You walk in there's a bear inside the house is waiting patiently. Going to make a soldier to walk. The Soldier Baby by the Digital Curb. Gonna make the Soldier Baby by Digital Curb. R. Redacted the Ashton. UK rap battles be like

your rooms are rubbish and your trousers look like she you. Oh, stupid. Stupid. It's written so crazy. They do say that. There's an H in their stupid.

S-S-S-H-T-Y-E-U-P-I-D. There is an H in their stupid. Your arms are rubbish and your trousers look stupid. British rappers are funny to me because it's like they're just not. as good. And it's unfortunate. There are a few very talented ones. They sound stupid.

I'm sorry. They sound stupid. They've got to see. It's so disrespectful, but to be fair to the British niggas, I'm sorry. No one. And I think, and I'll prove this. No one sounds better than Northeast people because they have the best accents for it. And why I can prove that that's better.

But like, yes. And why that's, why that's provable? Well, people, they copy it. Because there's a lot of people, literally that. They literally will make inflections and they will enunciate like them because it sounds better. The best rappers, the best rappers do copy the New York East Coast. But it literally just even sounds like, say the word nothing.

If you want to hear somebody say nothing, the way that they say nothing, like nothing, it sounds better. It fits better, nothing. Then being like nothing. You know what I'm saying? Like it's one of those things that like I see why people copy it because the way that they it just their slang sounds better. It just flows better. What's what like say people from from fucking your guys's area? I think I think there are plenty of really talented rappers from all over the place.

But I think the rhyme scheme that particularly comes from the East Coast is the best rhyme scheme. I don't think that the accents are the slang because I think Atlanta has good slang too. Not bad, but it ain't the... I think Memphis has good slang. I think Cali has terrible... No, I think Cali has terrible slings. But I do like how y'all use weirdo to really insult people. I don't think...

I think that shit is hilarious. Weirdo's funny. I think calling someone a weirdo and what it means over here, how it, like, it ostracizes you. It's funny. I think I like West Coast more, like, musically, if that makes sense. Like, from like a... Like a melody standpoint. I mean, I agree with that.

I personally But like I do But I do think I get more out of like I guess Lyricism from like East Coast For sure And I think it's just Whenever you see people trying to emulate Is what I'm saying

I guess the basis of all the slang Is southern slang and then they migrated right But like so this The southern like annunciations Or whatever I'm trying to say Like the basis of how they say their slang Just made like Things flow better and rap

Like when you're rapping Then somebody who's like a valet like i imagine a valley girl rapping like like fucking iggy azalea or something like she's trying to sound like like who that who that and like she's trying to do it but it sounds awful sounds awful you're not bill for that shit who that who that i'm like nigga you're not from it doesn't work bro it doesn't fucking work it doesn't work it doesn't work go away i'd rather you rap like i want british rappers to start rapping like they're in like ye old i want i wanted to start saying like high key respect more luck

Like, I wanted to say like, Doth. You know, like, you, daft fool. You, you Doth, you, you Doth speak, you know, like, I just like, I want them to, Thou shan't, spit balls upon me. Thou shant, exactly. Like, I wanted to, thou shan. I don't know, I think there, I think there's a few, I think there's, like a few really good rapper. Because there's, like, there's, like, the Central Seas who are, like, just a mid-wrapers.

But then there's the Dave, so Dave is an insanely good rapper. And he's on. He's insanely good. It's like crazy. And I'm like, bro, that's crazy. I have. The best rapper is from Vietnam, I bet.

I've only heard good rappers. I'm being dead serious. I've only heard good rappers from London and America. I've never heard good French rappers. I've never heard good Swedish rappers. I've heard, no, no, there's one good, but he's not. He's from France technically, but he's African and Europe. What's a French rapper?

There's a, dude, I actually, I know. He grew up in America. Sacque bru. I'm not gay. You. Like, what would that even be? So I've heard some. It's not as bad.

Because, like, to me, it's like, the Latin language or things based off of Latin actually can work pretty well. Like, I've heard a lot of good. For rhyming. For great Spanish hip hop. Well, yeah, because everything rhymes in Spanish. I told, I had an argument about that. Me and my friend arguing.

And we were going back and forth. She's a fluent Spanish speaker. I'm not fluent. I'm a. beginner intermediate Spanish figure at best. We had an argument where I was like, I think it's easier to rhyme in Spanish because of the way the language works. It flows so well that it's easier to rhyme in Spanish.

Yeah. She disagrees with me. I think it's certainly true. I think it clearly does phonetically. That's the reason why Spanish flows so well. Something with Italian and fucking French and I don't think German does at all. But I think those ones like they flow well. So it's like easier to rhyme in those languages.

And personally, I think that when people rap in Spanish, I think it sounds melodically nice until you look up what they're rapping about. They're like, oh, this is fucking stupid. But it sounds good. Like, reggaeton sounds great, you know, it just does. A lot of Spanish songs are funny because it's just like, they really are just like, well, we're just right. I don't know.

What are we going to write about? I don't know. Cheating on my wife. It doesn't matter. Cheating on my wife, she's finding out me feeling bad about cheating, crime. Not even. That's a story. That's a story where you describe it. Like a lot of Spanish songs I've heard is like, La Vaca. La Vaca. Like, you know, like, it's like the cow, the cow. And it's like, what? This is ridiculous. This is actually, like, like, my parents love Spanish music. They would always say, like, they would always tell me he's like, you know what this song is about? And I would be like, no, what is it? It's like, I don't know, a bandaid. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambatta. We discussed his vision. for the future of quantum computing.

At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.

Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points.

Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, ORA-Ida, Silk, Capri-Sung, Bavarian Meats, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Nothing.

Nothing. And they would be aware of it. It's just like, I don't know why they wrote this. Like whatever. Nothing beats Nortanyo and fucking freaking, what you call me is where. Is this a niggas cheating on his wife? It's just consistently, oh, my wife got. tired of me being shit and I'm sad about it.

It's disrespectful usually or a lot of times it's drug and cartel shit. And it's crazy because it's so upbeat because it's all like, you know, based off of polka. Polka of shit. And it's so upbeat and they're like, oh, we murdered these people. They're not going to mess with us again.

And I'm like, that's fucking insane. I was like that, uh, that song and fucking, uh, Breaking Bad. We're like talking about killing Heisenberg or whatever. Oh, that's a fucking cool. cool ass beat and it's all upbeat and shit and they're like talking about him all killing him or whatever i'm like all right he'll never he'll never wake up again there's blood all over his face i love mariachi music though mariachi music is nice good i like it i wouldn't say i love i like that

fucking like r mb shit well i call rm b it was like uh vicente fernandez where he's like basically crying over some bitch he's like oh me amo like he's just and it's like super big oh yeah That's every kind of music from that Perth, Sanchez. The goat. He's a great singer. He's a great singer. Fantastic singer, dude. Derek Notchhova is innocent and hashtag Freem.

King Asherber's arch nemesis, queen pussy, Kwefer. Round-eyed Asian losing layers of skin after touching Cali Tapwater, aka pure Newsom piss. Never thought it'd end like this, huh? How Carter? What?

What is this? What is this? What am I seeing? I say as I ram an ICVM strapped oil tanker into the White House like, Don. Carter? What? I don't think I understand. It's Jimmy. Huh?

I think he's him and Jimmy Carter in their final ride. It's just blowing up the freaking white. Yeah. Sneaking into Kingston's room, never throw it in like this, huh, Carter? Sneaking into Kingston's room and straightening the middle. third of his hair while he's a sleeve. That's crazy. That's insane.

That would probably look insane. Like there's definitely a Final Fantasy character that will one day look like that. Oh, absolutely. The Black Final Fantasy character that is an ape. Oh my God. And he won't admit he's an ape. He won't admit. He won't admit.

They won't admit it. They're just like, no, it's not. It's a black person. It's like. That's it. I mean, final niggas. Nomura. Nomura.

Please. That's insane. Niggas. fantasy. Yeah, yeah, there it is. That's so much worse. Final niggas. Stop. Or just, you know, niggins. Like you always just, yeah, it reverts to that.

Yeah. I love that. I love the idea. I know you do. I know. I know you do. I love it. It's really, it's really like. Broskies, fuck only fans. Kingsning, Kingston just gave us fat material for a whole week. Sting, uh, Brandy Hutzel, Derek needs to be put through a teleporter and see for a millisecond why he'll see pitch black one day one day we'll do it

one day we'll get that technology i'll be like 80 so by then i'll just do it because whatever it'll be great um wouldn't it be crazy if like the thing that freaks me out is like what if your brain gets a little bit scrambled in there and then like the one that the one that the one that comes out like it's still you but like maybe you hate something

that you used to love fucking and then you're like slightly white people yeah yeah you despise your wife you hate your wife you're like ew why would I ever have done this Ugh You know, Colonel, my wife is gross

Get out, get out, get out Nothing I can I'm gonna kill myself, I guess I'm gonna kill myself in this jungle I'm gonna eat a poison a snake and die I'm gonna blind blue-eyed age What a thrift Dude, they had the lady, the original lady

redo it for the new one And it's great still Like it's kind of insane bitch, you're like a thousand. That's cool. There's a point in the new, in the new one where like when you're climbing up the ladder, you can hear more clearly. But she hits like, she hits the crime. She hits crime like in a really fucking satisfying way.

It's like crime. Not for a, it's like, ooh. She's dead now. N-word, you can't escape me. I'll chase you to the ends of the earth. N-word. In-word. Blonde.

You guys have seen it Pokemon 2D again. Oh, fuck. You guys have seen a meme with like Flanders, right? It's like, I got a new car. Oh, yeah.

You sent it directly to me and to the group. Like, you fucking... Yeah. I had to make sure you got it. I actually saw it Jordan sent it to me. So I've seen it three times, essentially.

I think I said it to Jordan. That makes it perfect sense. Surprise. I do like You really could so easily make it You can fuck with Flander so much Because he says neighbor so much Yeah

I got a new Toyota Carolla That's good I like that Supraign I forgot how many He sounds so happy They were in Like Simpsons like just

Probably more than anything else I was like oh yeah That makes sense But I just for I don't remember most of those That I've been seeing online Hello hello I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.

I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes.

Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.

How far are we from that point with quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius,

body armor, auraida, silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Was that a wait, was that not just like a YouTube poop?

No, I think that was a car commercial. Oh my God. God, really? So they've advertised so much shit, and I didn't even, it's weird. And like the, when they do it, the animation's like super smooth. It's crazy. Yeah. That's all that's it.

I just said that again, even though it's like only. Surprise, n-hatter, I just bought a new Carolla wagon. It's like only, like I said it back in the chat, even though, it's only two. You scroll up twice Yeah, yeah, yeah. Finally seeing the writers in Expedition 33, but it's just an army of Alan wakes.

Oh my God. I mean, kind of. Femboy clown, Nick or Treat by Nickerloadian. Nick, Nick, Nick to Nick, Nick and Nick and Knuckin lots of jams.

Thugzilla minus cum. That's so steeped, man. God damn it. Very cool. Very sick. GTA 4 swing cycle glitch. Rowling resisting the urge to name one Irish character, Potato Famine McCarbaum.

Oh, Jesus, man. Man. That's a perfect name. It's a good name. My Irish friends got married today. Fuck, I forgot. I got to wish her a happy marriage. Yeah, she sent her.

Yeah. Great. Congrats or you're wedding You're nice wedding Oh Whatever My shit shrinks when I get aroused I cast inconvenient orgasm

Have at the fucker What did Chris think of my friendly neighborhood If I can't afford $25 Just admit you're broke Sween Or I guess Sweene is saying that I guess It's written kind of weird Maybe I did.

Big meaty stinks. The moon's frequencies tell me to kill Sweeney. I forgot to mention this. For $50 a month, you can have full access to Kingston's anal cavity. Yeah, we're actually doing a special where it's actually $49.99. You save an entire dollar. You save an entire dollar. It's true.

You can eat partially digested funfetti off of the walls of Kingston's colon for free. Well, for $50. Practically free. Frankly free It's in this economy Yeah, yeah Yeah You know

You probably worked 40 hours For that $50 But that's insane That's insane That's Gay actor Rosebud Delicious Because I'm a cock sucker

Yes I am Sorry I can Sorry I'm thinking I'm imagining I'm imagining I'm imagining I'm imagining

Have you seen What do you mean Like how he looks like a leather bag Iggy Pop How he's all Scoliosis stuff He looks like a curate He looks like a

fucking G-cleft. I just want to put his shirt on permanently. Like, I wanted to surgically graft a shirt onto him. Yeah, it's over. It's over, bud.

The shirtless era is over for you. But, like, it's, you did it for a long time, and you arguably didn't look great when you started. Right?

But it was, but it was fine because it was, like, inoffensive. It's like me shirtless. Like, it's inoffensive right now. But, like,

you got to, it's not impressive. It's actually. kind of extremely distracting. It's enhancing. I can't focus on what you're singing because I'm too concerned about how you're feeling right now and whether or not it hurts to simply be.

He really is twisted the fuck. Does he actually have like scoliosis? I have to imagine that he does. Because no person without, if you can look like that without scoliosis, then scoliosis is meaning. Yeah, I guess so. You know what I mean?

I guess so. Anyway. Sorry I can't. Burrito HIV negative actor Michael Bugless. Nice. Heath paying more for concessions. Keep wanting to say consciousness. Concessions

and then 40x tickets, Gids, Little Caesars is good when you don't have a dumb, gay bitch in your ear saying it sucks. DJ spit. It's not true, by the way. It's like, you could be completely bitchless and it would still suck.

DJ spit, ye who come spew with ropes, So the limited edition 24-carat Israeli La Juju-Dal. La J-Ju-Lajoo. La-Ju-Ju-Lajoo-Ju-Ju-Ju-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J is crazy. It's the stupid Googled. Oh, my God. Is that real?

That can't be real. It is. What the, that is not real. That's not a person, man. Holy fuck. If you scroll down, there's one that's almost a side profile. That's, like, even worse. like it's that's not real man that can't

it's it's worse than I remember that's what it's that is how Christ looked on the cross bro that is crazy that's how Christ looked on the cross after like if he left them there for three days like on day two right before he got resurrected he looked like that and then he came back back

dude it's crazy bro just put the shirt on man holy shit you know no wonder though because he's been like forever. He's on stage in the sun. Probably doesn't wear sunscreen. Holy fuck, man. That is concerned. Yow. How old is he? He looks, uh... What would you guess? I'm gonna say he's 76.

Kingston, what's your guess? Uh, we'll go with 63. 63! 78. Okay. It feels like that at 63. Fuck. Like, put them down. Put him the fuck down, dude. That is, that really is bad, man. Put him down and 10 years old on it. It doesn't look like a moldy fucking sandwich. How old is your dad?

It's like 70 something. For the audience so they can get a taste of it, you know. My dad's old. You guys, do you guys like that audience? You like it? That should be a thumbnail. I don't even care that it has nothing to do with what we're talking about. That needs to be the thumbnail.

I don't know what we're going to call this. He looks like an Ari Mee. any boss before they transform. What should we call it? Let's see. We talked about a little bit of a Trumpy. Let's think about

what we can say now. Let's think of what we can say now to justify us calling it something. Like what if we called it I don't know, man. Slimy pop. Something like, no, no.

No, no. It's got to be something related. Joe Rogan calls in and dies. Or Joe Rogan contacted us. Oh my God, that's too much. No, just do it. Go ahead. That's crazy.

Because, see, we've just said it, and now it's a subject of the conversation. And now we can call it. And it's not a lie. I think he contacted you too, maybe. He has contacted us. We've been contacted by Joe Rogan, so we're not lying. We didn't say win. Yeah.

So we're not lying. Let me say, I would, I definitely want to. Joe Rogan contact us and then a picture of Iggy Pop. That's so crazy. No, put, uh, put, uh, Jamie, I don't remember looking like that. Put, uh, put, no, make it two Iggy pops and just, uh, no, make it three of that Iggy Pop, but put our faces on them.

Fine. Fine, fine, why not? I don't know. Why not? Nothing matters. Nothing matters anymore. Kings says regarding genuinely irritating listening. Please fire him now.

Obama, when he met Michelle, well, let me be queer. The limited dish... Oh, I read that already, the La Jujujoo doll. La Jujoo is crazy. Blair White is fleeing Texas to California with leopard bite marks on her face. That's crazy. That's true. They ate her face.

They almost ate her face. They almost ate her face, I guess. They almost ate her face, but she escaped it just in time. I'm going to miss my little, uh, they ate her face. My little beautiful tranny That I was That I was getting fucked by Every Weekly

Gotta miss her so much Oh damn that was the thing The Owen What's his His protoge That fucking dumbass Owens something right Yeah yeah

I remember when that guy was new I was like who the fuck is this guy And now Just like Paul Joseph Watson Damn I wish we would have We had a couple of subjects That would have been fun Yeah I totally

I totally forgot He's so not in the ether. It's so, yeah, it just washed out of our brains. Yeah, so for those of you don't know, Alex Jones had a protege, and he was at Info Wars for a while, and then he left, and according to Owen, the guy who left, it was amicable. He just didn't like having him, he just wanted more creative control,

and then Alex Jones, like, flipped out. Like, it was just the craziest. It actually is, like, an old school tier, kind of like Alex Jones rant, where he's, like, he's growling, he's doing crazy shit. Should go watch that if you can That clip of him freaking out about it Freaking out and again

It just sucks that he's He uses a lot of the same shit that he says back in the day But it just holds no weight Because you know how like how much he's Just sucked up too tyranny Because he's like oh I'm yeah yeah I will defend the Constitution from enemies Foreign and domestic

Like he said he went on the rant again Foreign and domestic And I'm like yeah that means nothing bro Get the fuck out I'll defend the constitution from anybody foreign domestic. I will defend the Constitution from Owen. He's a gay Nazi.

Owens a little gay Nazi. He's a traitor. He's a great Judas. The great Judas is what we call on me. He's a Jew. If you know what I'm trying to say. He's a Jew. He's a Jew he's a Jewess. Oh my God. Bar bars. The idea

of Alex Jones is knowing the phrase bars. Welcome our late my latest protei Tom Sweeney. Tom Oh, I thought you're guessing Tom McDonald's I mean that actually

Makes you're talking about bars Tom McDonald You are an American patriot Canadian I love you so much You I love you too Alex Jones I want to suck your bones

And tuck your toes I want I want This has got me so stoked Because you're so anti-woke Man My braids and my tattoos Are so bespoke

Yeah I do lots of coke And no I ain't no joke I'm gay Yay Yeah outright saying it Our token gay I'm gay

We got a token gay on the program guys Everybody looks at Everyone looks at trans porn every once in a air I like men's fanis But I can't fuck them so I fuck trannies Who uh Who doesn't Who among us doesn't like a transport at all the time forever

I forgot that he I wake up in the morning I look at transport on my phone like, well, we're in the studio right now. I'm looking at it right now. I have 10 monitors just off-site. And it's all displaying all the craziest shit you've ever seen. There's pussies on top of penises at the same, on the same body.

You don't even understand what you're in. So much common pussy juice everywhere. I am the biggest trans porn fan. You can't find a better person. I am a damn right. I'm downright a transformer. That's so garbage. You are not an American patriot if you don't like transport.

You're not an American Patriot if you don't fuck If you don't fuck the things Then I like to fuck particularly Have you never seen a massive pair of tits And a huge cock Is there anything better in porn? Those are the two things that people pay attention

To the most So it just makes sense Listen you have to You have not lived until you fucked an asshole And then jerked a penis off On top of your own base I'll tell you that much You don't know

Wait wait wait And then as you don't worry about it Don't worry about it And then you're looking at it And then you're looking at it And then you're looking at it As you're fucking that as you're fucking and a penis is going up and down

you're jerking the penis off there's a big set of tits and right now. Next level stuff like you don't even understand like I'm operating on a I'm ranked competitive. I'm diamond diamond division diamond I'm a diamond division I'm a diamond division I'm a diamond division pen of I mean not pet him I'm a diamond division I'm a diamond division

trans person lover lover one of me get very clear I saw my penis I saw my breasts or man breasts this is garbage this is Garbage. Department. I'm sorry. You think he left because of that trans thing

Apollos of Watson? Absolutely. Very likely. Very likely. I don't want to have sex with you wearing fake tits anymore. Why can't you just love me for me? Why can't you just love me?

His giant hands are a little bit too big. His giant fucking hands. He's like that, do you remember that banana in Aguantine Hunger Force that had to replace his hands? he was beating his girlfriend so much. I don't remember that actually. It's awesome. He's voice by, it's like a banana and like an apple, and they're both characters and they're like, David Cross is the banana and like I think Kristen Shawl's the

apple. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computer. whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes.

Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building, hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.

How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals.

Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select.

Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. And she's talking about it's like, yeah, he used to really wallop me. You remember that?

He's like, yeah, I had to replace my head and he pulls up his hands and they're different colors. It's like a different, it's like a black man's hands on his fucking body. It is so insane.

I'm going to see a hunger force is ridiculous. I love it. You look like you could use a fucking lamp. New home alone. That's a name, but nice. I didn't just say that for no reason. New home alone where adult Kevin breaks into

into Marvin Harry's house. Ooh. Like that's oh I love it So like he's he's an adult And they're in like an assistive living facility And he's terrorizing man And they have to set up traps now But they're old and feeble

But they've got like maybe like a wheelchair With like I don't know a jet on it They have a couple of They at least have an understanding They've been through hell And so they have an understanding I think we can do it I think we might be able to beat them

That'd be a great movie And Kevin just kills him directed by Scorsese Of course Scorsese Yes to direct everything You know I mean It's got fucking

What a Han Zimmer What a Han Zimmer Fucking fucking Yeah Yeah the guy The Bois Zimmer Bois Zimmer I came in his gay ass

So hard I made MPreg real Your Next Boys Cardboard Pie Department of Horror Love trend so much Spellwicks Spellwicks the Wise

Master of the Arcane Slayer of Nomes A Writer of Wyverns, fucker of suckyby. Ginger Dragon Singer, songwriter, Ed Sheeran. I can make orange rhyme with banana. Bornana. That's very good. Very great.

Very great. That's a next one. That's a plain of thought that I never even once thought possible. Oh, shit. Sugar glass bones. MIT has a one trillion frames per second camera. I did see that. that was interesting

they managed to capture the speed of light on camera like actually like you could see like the photon moving and I'm just like that's fucking upsetting but actually there's an image of a photon

there's literally well there's like we have footage basically of like it's insane you should watch the footage it is interesting because it's like you see the light

basically hitting like there's like an apple in front of a wall and then you see the light hit the apple and then slowly move to the wall. So you see like and then you see like

how the photons. It's fucked. It's fucked. It's cool. It's disgusting. You're not meant to see that. Holy shit. Isn't that crazy?

This is also really old. No. The one trillion frames per second camera? Is it? Yeah. I'm seeing it. This is like a 13 year old video I'm seeing right now. Oh, maybe.

Maybe it's been around for a while. I'm seeing the light move to an object and then illuminate it. don't pussy from the back, if you don't eat pussy from the back, you're not hungry enough. Damn, dude. Stupid. Next level. Goon devil, the man without

calm. They have sex with men. They have sex with men. Those who have sex with men. Those who have sex with men. What is this? What? Okay. It's okay if you don't understand attack on Titan Kingston. Keep your dog shit opinion to yourself. That's crazy. Search Peter Lowy Fish Battle. Versus. Sucking until

Red comes out. Smichy the kid. Adam ruins Everything versus Sheldon Cooper. Honk heap from Prince of the Heap. Chris, why are you gay? Eh, well, I don't know. Look up Boss N-word theme song. It's on YouTube. Yeah, I know.

Good stuff. I know. I know the boss N-word. I know. It's good. Hamster and a sock is now plus five after extensive use. Congratulations. You've been grinding on that one for a while.

Yeah, dude. You leveled that shit up. I was wondering when it was going to, like, you know, when you're going to upgrade it. It's exciting. Just real quick. That's very dope. I don't know if the same guy's going to, if he changed his name or not, but he asked us about gay inwards from outer space. And I completely forgot that.

I suggested Elvis the Alien to review it. Oh, yeah. That's right. You forgot about that. So if the person, I don't know if the name's going to, if it's coming up or not, but like that person that asked that, if you're listening, go watch that video from Elvis. the alien, and also, I remember it because I made him review a boss inward too. Because he kept doing like one of those things. I'm like, never do that, man. I'm like, oh, hey, what do you guys want me to do? The highest

liked one, I'll review that movie. And of course, I did the N-word, gay, inward from outer space and boss inward. After that, I retired. I was like, I'm not going to do this anymore. Yeah. Fagliacci, the gay clown, Your Honor. Your Honor? Your Honor? Your Honor? In my defense, I didn't.

come in that cat's face because I wanted to. My penis is just possessed by a ghost. Facts. Facts, man. You can't argue with the supernatural. Oh. He read the anti-straight equation Dark Side. He's gay. Craig the Canadian.

Sorry, Ms. Jackson. I am four eels. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO Arvind Krishna, and I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side.

For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology.

It's getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select.

Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. It's your boy. Shawnee D. Comshot Gaming at Grock is this true. Sweeney talks like he doesn't have a first language. That is a crazy sentence. First language is crazy.

Dead gay Obama be like nothing because he's dead. Ew. Nice. Idubs and Chris Reagan. Raging Biggates to Self-Serving Rebrand Now on YouTube I do remember hearing I do remember that that video

Somebody said that I think Yeah a while long time ago I don't know Somebody like Someone who's probably dead or something Yeah I don't know So it's like

Oh Chris is rebranding I'm like You're retired Yeah Sween working the streets Selling NWard passes To pay for Lily's Cripling piss addiction

Yes Patreon I would love A crippling Distabilizing at barements Oh. Yes, Patreon. I would love for you to sign me out of my account for the billion time on the same device.

It's cool, isn't it? There's microplastics in my dick. Look up why Melanie Mac was hospitalized if you want a good laugh. And an example of her stupid. That sounds fun. Hold on. I didn't know that. What do you think?

Guess. What do you think happen to her? I assume something heart related because she eats butter. Straight. Really? Like sticks of butter. Melanie. Yeah, actually.

Melanie Mac What are you talking about? That's not a joke Oh, keto shit or something I bet Some dumb I think it's just stupid Well it goes hand in hand The keto night's stupid

Hospitalized Melanie Mac getting hospitalized Twice For dehydration suddenly makes a lot of sense Wait what happened Wait She was so dehydrated That she got fucking hospitalized

That's crazy Because that's not even That didn't even happen to me. And I famously, like, for a long time was just like, I'm not drinking water. That's okay. Like, when I was like a teenager and shit, like I just straight up. Other things that have 99% water in it.

You drink things that have water. No, but like I mean, no, like, straight up like no water. Like no plain water. Again, you're drinking things that had 99% water. That doesn't matter. So you're still drinking water in it. Yeah. Like you're drinking soda and tea and bullshit. So you still get water.

That's what's like, it's a. I remember the first time I thought about that because it was my teacher at the time he was like she was just drinking monster energy drinks. She only drank monsters? So she probably had fucked up palpitations too, I bet. Bro, that's fucking crazy. What a stupid asshole.

Only drink fucking energy drinks? You know what the unfortunate thing about that too is for women when they drink? I shouldn't say that. Obi-1 should blow me. Okay. That was a waste That was a waste of some time

But okay No I mean it's just like You know you gotta Energy drinks like They affect They affect certain flavors Okay She ride my meat to the balls

If till they marinara What What the fuck is that New balls marinara Something stupid like that Chris if you heard the new bedside I still have not actually I really like it

And I'm also gay Congratulations Oh Big fucking deal Oh. It's not cool anymore, bud. Oh. You missed it.

You missed the boat by a while. You missed the gay mark, sorry. Now gay is like whatever. Now you have to be like... See, I'm seeing... Somebody did say, uh, substituted water with butter. What do you... I don't know, man.

What is this fucking... She has... She has bitten into sticks of butter and ate them on camera. I've seen that. I missed the whole ethos of this. person like I I you think there's a good like a video that it's like oh maybe I don't know I haven't looked into it at all if it exists if it exists I wouldn't I just saw like it would just skirt across my timeline I was vaguely aware of her because she's in the game

space or she was and I remember she had those videos or her just saying the F slur like on I did see that whatever um and she she's always been like kind of like a loose slalk out of me. Like, not really. Like, I'm not really going to pay that much attention to it, but, like, it just, yeah, it pops up every now and again. And I was just aware that she ate butter. I was aware that she has makeup that's so poorly done that even I notice. Um, which is just like, you, you really have to fuck up really bad for me to notice that you're making is bad. Like, I don't, I don't notice. I don't care about that shit at all. But neither did she. She looks like she's been dead. Um, so gape to they call him slipping. Jimmy. Obi, won't you blow him. me holding in my piss all day so I can shoot kidney stones at my wife like bullets. That's crazy. Kremlin to Gremlin, ask the fungus trans girl with tits to call me.

The starlit bandit, hairy rectum, subbing to snark tank to boot like Spider-Man to instead of watching the episode. Hell yeah, dude. That's our new market, is that we're going to have movies playing in the background, and it's going to be a completely free way to watch those movies with no sound and no consistent scream, obviously.

But if you want to, like, We got to figure out what the next movie is going to be. Do you guys have any suggestions what the next movie should be? I mean, I don't know. We didn't get claimed. Yeah, it's too small. I understood it wouldn't get claimed. It was, I was thinking, well, I said this is a great way to actually just offer,

like we can do our own, you know, movie commentary trope fucking podcast. We could. And actually, like, literally, like, have a separate. bag, you know? Because I don't know anybody else that's actually done that by putting a really small, like in the background like that. Yeah. That would be really ridiculous.

Wage slave 583. Courage the dacely dog bashing us his head in with a ladle while Muriel silent each year. So we're like, what if instead of being called Falmer they were called and I can hang them for free? That's crazy. That's the actual part's a little

much, but I wouldn't call Farmer Inward. It broke character at the end there. He would definitely say, like, what if they were called N-Words? I would never call FOMbers the N-WRid. That's crazy. I would never deterrents inward like that.

That's crazy. That's crazy. I hate Fommer. It's like really bad. I really don't like them. More than you hate N-Words? Yes. Yes.

Yes. Certainly. Most definitely. Pupini, most, most deaf. Pippini Bros. Presents Crash Course, Cybertron History, Rise of Debtagon's Donk-Dongerson, the Colin Swinging Slasher,

Mason the Metalhead, mockery of Megger Death, P-P, new execution device, the Grilatine, a blade, no blade for beheading, just a gorilla fucking ripping you, fucking you up.

A guerrillotine is so stupid. I like it. A gorilla falls down. It's a gorilla. They have a gorilla strapped to like a piece of wood, and then they drop it real hard. hard on you. And then it just like,

it just bashes you into pace. Freaks the fuck out because it was suspended for the last three hours. And then they pull it back up. I like it. B-U-C-C-A-N-E-E-R-S. Go Bucks. I don't know anything about the Buccaneers. Can we make a story with our names?

A lesbian con. Asian Obamna be like, rep me be career. The big black bug bit the big black. bear and the big black bear bled blue black blood. Fuck you. How dare you make me say that? John Strickland, Merck's 1889, sat on my nuts yesterday.

Congrats. It's an experience we all must experience. It's a right of passage. The first church of Keith David saying the F slur, but with a soft A, because I'm not homophobic. What? A soft? What?

All right. Have a blessed day, Kingston. Oh, that's nice. Just Spartan. Pre-Raz, Blake 896. I got Lockhart doing Grave-Air chips at the Dixucking Factory. And all I got was Lockjaw as previously mentioned. Oh, my God.

Throat. That Alex Jones stuff was a mistake. Call me Jack's films, by the way. The way I film myself Jack in it. Harriet Tubgirl. The Snarky Tank is sponsored by Subway. Eat Fresh. I mean, certainly not.

No, it's not. No, it's not. What is this? Orichich Orichich Orichichich Orichol chum du rag Orichel chum du rag

Grants Grants immunity To the effects of malt liquor And crack for gangsta quest Oh, it's a gangstice question Oh I don't know how racist I want to I want to go with that though

Yeah I don't know I don't want to That I don't make a nice It should be racist It should be played. It's stereotypical, obviously, but not like... Malt liquor, don't you put Malt Licker in there.

Like, come on, nigga. Yeah, like, there wouldn't be Malt Licker. Like, that wouldn't have gotten transported back. Put in Gank, put in Gank, maybe they discover malt liquor. Maybe that might be anything that happens. Like, they might... It's too old. I like that.

There should be fantasy drinks. Maybe... Or potions. It's going to be potions. Like, is there going to be magic? Is it going to be magic? That's what's mostly going to be there. the the the gangsters would introduce them to some modern weaponry

so that's going to be like even like say something like oh my god fucking magic ford pistols stuff like that certain like the idea of like a car for drive-by's kind of a thing because that's like a real like but like I don't need to get into like the tropey like negative like oh crack you know like oh fucking the crack epidemic we're gonna make a this is how we this is how we do it was severely effective by having them fucking get a dick to the crack or

I don't want to do them like that. Yeah, it's not, yeah. But like, uh... There should be scumma. You should just put sco man in there straight up. It could be things like, oh, they're going to... Maybe they can spice up some of the, some of the wine that they have or something, you know, but like... It'll just be like ales or like, you know, altered ales or things like that.

There should be cool... It's got to be still fantasy in some ways. That'll be the easiest way to do it. There should be Kool-Aid and... Yeah, exactly. Yeah, there's be chicken and watermelon. Yeah, amazing. Coolade and watermelon and cheese.

chicken and fucking dude I had this before it was really good I hate to admit it my friend when I was in Atlanta he already hated coolade on watermelon oh I mean yeah and I took a bite of it and I was like oh this is mad

okay I understand that wait like say was it like like a little like like the like we cut a piece of watermelon out and we put some collate on it like we seasoned it and I bet I get that that actually makes sense I don't even like

watermelon like that but I was like this is actually really really good. I don't really like watermelon that much either. I like cancel a more. But I really don't taste anything. That's my thing. It's like it's even I guess it's most of water. That's why.

But like. Yeah, I don't know. I do like the lime on squeezing lime on mango though. Like that shit's fucking interesting. That shit's I have like three mangoes in my house right now. Mango is like my favorite fucking fruits. Crazy acidic. Crazy acidic.

Yeah, it hurts a lot. Crazy. I was a big fan of it. green mango, but that shit ain't on the market anymore. I don't know why, though. That's some India. That's some India, brother. Something happened, just like, uh, fucking all the, all the orange juice companies fucking

took all the Valencia oranges and you can't even buy them anymore. It used to be able to buy Valencia oranges fucking like a Trader Joe's no problem like in 2010. Blame Starbucks. And then they just stop selling them because it's, it literally, it's only an orange juice now. I'm like, oh, cool. Thanks, guys. Yeah. Blame Starbucks. All right.

Descoop. racism, racist to offspring, racist to offspring be like, you gotta keep him segregated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, keep them at bay. That'd be fucking crazy.

Oh, my God. What? Something happened? Hey. Oh. Come out I'm gay. Oh, that's so obvious. It's a pretty easy one.

Again, that, that main. lick is him playing it with his wiener. I gotta get me. I gotta get me penetrated. Bown, bougham, bhrum, bough, bown, bown, bough. Chomo the clown, please help. I can't seem to get any bookings. Chomo, the cloud is crazy.

That's so stupid. I like that. Please help. Can you give me advice? Young Colin laying down on a street. I like how mundane that one is compared to like everything Well you know what's gonna happen We know we know what's

We know what's inbound Obviously a fucking Zamboni's gonna come up And we know what's inbound How fast can a Zamboni even go 50 miles an hour I'm just some fucking asshole driving that shit around it At maximum speed Yeah it's fast enough to be a dangerous thing in a school zone

But not fast enough to be Well also still too actually also too slow to not be dangerous in a hot highway so like you'd have a big problem with that. Fetus redis flicking a booger with a bloody tail that lands on your lip. Relax.

My dad works for the CIA and said I can use the heart attack gun on Trump. What are you fucking waiting for? Hurry up. Joke with the this joke with cement to fill microtect. cares.

I don't know what's happening, man. That's so crazy. Sorry, Miss Jackson. How many candy necklaces does it take to hang me? Badly Brave. Who's New York Nick? Aetherian needs help, lowering his weapon to hail three. Pro Julian Hunter, Nefram.

And rounding out our list, as always. The king of who poozered. The king. All right. Shut up. All right, bye. Want to earn extra income for your business? Amazon Hub delivery is

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