The Snark Tank - #362: Everyone Has A Price

Episode Date: October 3, 2025

https://www.patreon.com/TheSnarkTank

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and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. You look like, like some, like something like in Mortal Kombat. I don't know which one though. Some fatality. There's something like, yeah, like where they're like making this really shitty animation. I think about Massachusetts evolving.

I think I remember it. I think our, wait, that's. It's one of the like sort of newer ones. I think it's like when noob cybot. I can't. I have. He like feels he would smoke and you start fucking seizing and you blow up. Maybe so.

Yeah. Is it no, it's... That's, I mean... Isn't that crazy? Is that his name? What, just him? It's like, it's uncanny. Yeah.

It's uncanny. Yeah. It is. Yeah. Like the valley? No, no, it's just like, it's working, like, you're doing a great job. What? What I'm doing a great job of?

Keep it up, man. Yeah. Okay. Welcome to Stark Tank podcast. It's me, Chris. It's him, Derek. And this is our new animatronic Sweden. Because as we all know, uh, Sweeney was executed in Costa

Rica. Yeah. You know, and this is a, this is a huge collaboration between us and a company to build, uh, build an animatronic. Just the company. Yeah. Yeah. Just a company to make a really, like, realistic, uncanny, uh, completely lifelike, uh, Tom Sweeney. And it's, it's coming along great. Look, he's even not, I remember coding that specifically myself. Yeah, like reacting. Yeah, reacting that exact way. Yeah. It's good, man. I'm actually highly impressed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I stole a lot of the code from GitHub. Yeah. Very useful. Yeah, it's very useful. Yeah. I don't even know if that's what GitHub is. I mean, it can be. I've downloaded plenty of shit from there.

Really? I have no concept of what GitHub is. Yeah, it's usually, you know, when I'm destroying games, you know, like putting a bunch of bullshit in it. There's a lot of cool scripts in, like, in GitHub. Yeah, yeah. It's really fun how people make games. There have people go. going there and completely rape the thing that they made. Yeah. Like is they going or they make somebody like a long time. Like I'm going to really write this game out. You know, this guy's never spent a lot of time coding it.

And then I'm like, what if everybody was lactating? I wonder if that's how like like directors feel whenever they see like a YouTube poop of like a movie. Because it feels less invasive to me than like a game because like you're actually going into the files, you know? It's more. It's more pervasive.

100%. It's super aggressive. It's like. when you take it's I guess the equivalent for a video would be like if you make a YouTube poop you put like your own fucked up soundtrack in it back to you start editing you do like some sort of editing to the background as well like you really go in there and you fuck up the movie you're watching like it's Spider-Man three but it looks like I don't know it looks like Shawshank Redemption at moments of it yeah it's like what the fuck is going on here dude there is a I

can't remember what this is but I saw it probably in like 2018 2019 a YouTube poop that made an entire comprehensive movie out of like using Spider-Man and Lord of the Ring stuff and they made the entire new plot. It makes sense and it was entertaining. I was like this is

the final level of autism. It was fucking good. I'll find it eventually. Isn't there some actor like it's like Elijah Wood or Tofer Grace or someone that like has like an edit of all of Star Wars? There's like a specific like he I can't. The audience will know.

I thought Elijah would be the one that would have it. You feel like Elijah would? Yeah. Elijah Wood would. Yeah. Indeed. So how was Costa Rica? Why?

Why? Why? Why'd you go to Costa Rica out of nowhere? What do you call it? Lily's dad wasn't Costa Rica for work. Uh-huh. And he was like, why don't we guys all come to Costa Rica after I'm done working? And then we went there, and it was beautiful. That's pretty simple. That's it.

It was beautiful. That was like, we're near volcanoes and shit. It was awesome. Explain how you Escape the you know the the the mercenary tribe that was There terrorizing the Costa Ricans and you somehow Ended up liberating the Local people the natives and made it back safely

I feel like saying natives is really weird way to talk about just Costa Ricans Hey man because there's there's Jake wait no Jake Paul is in Puerto Rico I keep forgetting whatever You know there's the there's the time because I'm sure the Costa Ricans That is our life that is our life that is a life They're doing the same thing. Being misunderstood. But they're doing the same thing. That is like,

we're Puerto Rican. We're not. It's always the final guess. Listen. It's never, it's Mexican first somehow. Well, it makes sense why it's Mexico.

Dominican, then Costa Rican. Sure. It is kind of wild. Listen. How'd you get out of there, though? Yeah. How'd you escape?

I'm surprised they let you in the country, honestly. Back in the country? Yeah. I don't look that. I don't look that not black American. Yeah, but I sent the government that photo of like the demon you.

No, he actually got detained. He was actually. there too. Oh, he was yelling and people were throwing up like blood and shit. He was really creepy. That's great. That's a crazy ability. He started yelling. He would throw up blood. He was, he was like way stronger and it should have been. It was really funny. They had to tranquilize him. And then somebody got like a crucifix and put it on like, they put a tarp off and

it put a carps on a tarp and he couldn't get it off. What are his measurements? What are his measurements? Was he like same high? No, much, much, much bigger. Like imagine me if I was an orc. Okay. Bigger in like Costa Rican dimensions or not? Bigger in like, bigger in like spiritual dimensions too. He was a very, he's a very vast being.

Can you put like a like an actual could you gauge his height? Like what would you say? Standing about like 12.9. All right. He was pushing at least like 600 KGs. Yeah, maybe three, four thousand pounds. 600 Ks. What is KG?

Kilgrams? What's that? What's that? You've got it times it by 2.2 to get pounds. Oh my God. Oh, man. Yeah, it's huge. It's huge.

That's way crazier than I imagine. Yeah. You could do like a five, a fifth yard and like maybe like, I don't know, like 0.2 milliseconds. Terrifying creature. Did you get robbed? Did you get robbed by any, um, because I know like they have like literal like, like lemurs and shit hopping around? Oh, the monkeys. Yeah.

Our friend Smokie always talks about like how she was robbed by a bunch of monkeys. And I can never tell if it was like a racist thing that she was saying. You're legitimate. That's crazy. It's crazy. She's very pale, you know. She is very pale. Yeah, so I know what's there.

It had like a, it was funny. It was like a black American excursion there. So it was a bunch of black Americans there, which is fucking weird. Oh, really? Why? It was fucking, I don't know. There was like some sort of, I don't know. Is that why you went?

Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computer. computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together? It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need

to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.

That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season.

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Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. I think so. I like if you have to think about it. It's the gathering. The programming. You know, you've heard of the gathering of the jugglers,

right? Have you heard of that? No. You've been to a carnival? You've been to a carnival festival? I have not. Don't go. Don't.

I had, so at one point, our friends and I were actually thinking about it. I saw a documentary and I was like, never mind. Like, legitimately it was just like, I don't know. I feel like I, it's just,

I'll get swept away. by the toxic sludge that is just emanating from their tents and shit. It's disgusting. I won't do it. But anyway, it was, I proved, man, I was a little more racist afterwards.

Oh, that's good. A little more. I thought I was supposed to bring people together. That's interesting. Didn't bring, didn't, they wanted to bring me to a rope.

That's what they wanted to do. So, now that you didn't, you didn't really do anything, you just kind of like, I was a resort. We saw, we went swimming.

That was the thing we did a bunch of, the beaches are beautiful. It's like, They got the blue water there? It was actually black because of the fact that it was, there was a volcanic sand. There was a bunch of volcanic sand. There was a bunch of black like sand that felt like coffee grind. Like not even like finer than that.

It was like it was unbelievable. They had black sand beaches. Yeah. Because there's volcanoes nearby. Right. That's kind of sick. It was beautiful. That shit is cool.

It's beautiful. Did you eat the sand? Did you eat the volcanic sand? I thought about it. But Lily, I was going to at least have it on my hand. It's good for you. It's like charcoal. Yeah.

It's good for your skin, actually. but it's not good for your inner body, no. Cleans you out good, man. Yeah. I lost 20 pounds and three days last time I did that. Yeah. It's really good. I felt great.

I was a three days. I felt great after a few months, you know? Once you grew back, once you grew back, the lining in your stomach. I felt great after all the energy I expended, losing how much weight was, you know, after it was done. I felt amazing. Yeah. It was really pretty.

A lot of, a lot of iguanas, a lot of, like, really weird birds. Like a lot of like crows with like you know you ever seen like the phoenix chickens? Phoenix chickens. I don't even know that. The chickens with like a really big furtile tail sort of like peacocks. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

There was a bunch of crows like that there. And I was like, why the fuck do they have to? It was, because seeing a crow with such a sleek creature. But then it has a big ass fucking tail. You're like, what the fuck am I seeing right now? What is wrong with that thing? Yeah. We saw little monkeys.

The baby monkeys were the cutest I ever seen in my life. They were so tiny. Do you? No. No, I didn't aggress him. You should have aggressed on them I didn't aggressive on my You're like you got to do the X-Men Wolverines Orions Pounce

You know like if I could Speaking of that Oh we did Yeah we saw Wolverine finally They showed it I saw some I saw some comments that I just don't understand Because I was

I was like this is just This is exactly what I want There's origins again It looks like origins It looks like more origins It's cinematic It's the only way that you could make A good Wolverine game

So I don't mind it's cool Like it's been It's been what? Like, damn near, what was that? Just about, not 20 years exactly, but like just five years shy.

And so like four years shy. Because 2009, I think, right? 2009. So, I mean, yeah, I don't mind seeing origins again, but like with, you know, higher fidelity. That was a movie.

That was a great game from a stupid fucking movie. That video game was awesome. That used to happen a lot more back in the day. You'd get games that were better than the movies. It would happen. Sure. I don't think it would happen a lot, but it would happen.

It happened enough for me to notice that it was kind of a pattern for a while until about like 2007. Spider-Man 3 game was fun, actually. I thought it was fun, but it was like it wasn't as good as two. It's not great. It's fine. It's like a 6 out of 10. It's like serviceable. I think it's more than 10.

But I think it stops. It stops right. Like you cannot give it more than 7. Also, bad, why happen? It's, it's, because I just remember that time being like, I don't know, B movie the game, which was. like five, you know? But like, I mean, the movie.

It was a fun experience with people that really liked B movie, you know? Yeah. Yeah, right. But I remember like, what is it? Obviously,

Spider-Man 2. A series of unfortunate events is a weirdly good video game. They get the PS2 one? Yeah, the PS2 one. Return to the King. Fucking golden. That game,

those are, but these are like the monoliths. Like, I'm sure if he... Right, but that's what I'm saying. It's like, there's like 30 that are, like, there's like 10 that are great.

There's, 30 that are fine. There's probably dozens that are dog shit. No, but you're misunderstanding me. The point is, like, there was a point in time where all of them were bad. Like, there's no good movie-based N-E-S games. The Lion King game was good. That game was fucking hard.

It was still good. I don't know. That was maybe the... I think a Soulsborn freak would say that now. And Aladdin was good. Well, those games were torture. SNS- Aladdin, I liked it a little bit better. It's weird.

It's a weird one because usually like NES. I usually like Genesis stuff better or Mega Drive, whatever for one of those gay people. Yeah. You know, if you speak like, oh, you know, if you have one of those, oh, to tooty or one of those things, you're a Mega Drive person. Even though I will say, Mega Drive is a pretty cool name, I will say. It's a cool name for a nine-year-old boy when he hears it. you're like a mega drive. That's what they were trying to market it towards.

Get me that. Of course. Yeah. Mega drive. Get the psycho mega drive. How do they do advertisement over there? Because you know, like everything was like, oh, Sunday, crossfire. And they were like, what did they do?

Do you think they did that? They're probably polite. They were like, would you like to buy this thing? Tell your mom and your puppy to come and get it. I wonder what they... Tell your mom. The new Sega Mega Drive is out today. Today.

Today. Today. Today. Today. I really wonder how they would. Politely please. Oh, puppy. Mommy.

Mummy. Mumsy, poxie. Yeah. Mumsie, Pobsy. Get out of you, you right, cut. Boom.

You think I'm fucking ma'am of pounds? Or what do they say? I barely got any fucking pants on me, man. I don't got any

fucking quips on me, bro. Pull your pants down and whip yourself, mate. That's actually the mega-trike commercial. That's the whole commercial.

It hasn't cut yet. It hasn't cut yet. It's still happening. Oh, God. It's followed. Oh, my God. You watch a commercial for like three hours. You know, like, wait, what?

It's still going on? Wait, what? That's that freaking Morty bit where, like, the, the commercial ends and then it keeps, it keeps following. Oh, he keeps going? Does he die in a car accident during that one? I don't remember. I think he just goes home and argues with his wife or something. I got to refresh my memory of old episodes.

But, yeah, fucking. Yeah, I'll give, I'll give Lion King and Aladdin to you, although, like, I don't really have experience of those games. But that's that's two, right? And then the PS1, none. Nah, not. All right, none. EA, we got to examine this.

Like, when we do our next extra ammo, we got to examine like the, like, oh, all the movie to video game things and seeing which ones we're familiar with. We got to take a console. We all got to pick a console, and we got to study. We have the argue our points

if they're good or bad, actually. I would be down with that. Because I'll go home right now. Now I just look up my computer for hours watching footage about fucking like I don't know

the Hobbit thing the hot that game was ass actually the Hobbit game for Xbox are you getting there was no hobby game for Xbox

it was The Hobbit but I don't think it was based off the Hobbit movie I think was based off the Hobbit book for Xbox

Yeah look it up I swear to God 360 right No no regular Xbox Bone regular Xbox I swear to God they made a hobbit

all the way back then But it was like Hobbit like that weird movie hobby Remember like that weird particular art. I forgot the artist style. Oh, you're talking about like fucking way back in the day? Yeah, that version of Hobbit.

They made the game about that version of it. Not the, not the Benedict Cumberbats being a dragon, no. Okay. What? Yeah, I haven't seen any of that old.

You're gonna see it. What the fuck is this? I haven't seen any of that old animation. I have never seen this in my life. He was holding a sword. Like a little knife of that? Yeah. What the fuck is that?

He looks awesome. I remember that image. The prelude to the Lord of the Rings by Sierra. Hello. Hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM Research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,

whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.

Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone has. a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com

slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time, now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, or Ida, silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more.

Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. I recognize Sierra. Sierra missed. Sierra Leone? Sierra did miss with this one. Holy shit.

Sierra Leone. What the fuck is this dude i swear to god this is not real i'm looking at it i'm looking at it hey man i wasn't lying you guys what are those ratings are people digging that shit yeah 4.6 out of 10 what the fuck that's that's still ultimately not a movie based game though you know yeah i guess yeah but that game was dog shit the game was fucking hot ass yeah um there's there's gotta be i hear people talk about chronicles of rick escape from butcher bay as well that's good it was like a crazy good game apparently it's two game right yeah xbox

original PS2. I played one of them for PS2. There was a period of time from like 2000 to 2006 where like there was a higher than normal chance

of a video game based movie or a, or a, yeah, that's, I said that right, right? Is there a way

to play that fast and furious game on PC that came out? Remember it when it Oh, when it recently? It dropped on the VGA's

and it looked like a PS3 game. Remember that shit? Yeah, Vin Diesel and, um, was this is like three years ago or something? This is,

it's longer than that, I think. It was like maybe, 2019 or something. No way. I feel like well, hold, maybe now you got me. Oh man. It was like a year and a half ago. I feel like I was living in Vegas when it happened, but now like my memory's all jumbled now.

Dude. Because I feel like I remember being in Vegas and like, why does this look like it was made? You were probably so happy. You saw it when you were like, yay. I was dead on. 2019. It was in 2019 when they dropped. Yeah, Michelle Rodriguez and Vin Diesel present Fast and Furious Crossroads. I know

I know. I know they were, I know they were at the At the video game awards. I know that. They were at the video game awards. I remember them being of the... When did it drop, I guess? Maybe it dropped. Maybe like...

Was it the same year? No. God damn it. No, because it was December that they announced it. Ten minutes later. Why don't I have memory of... It's available now. Shadow dropped.

What a waste of a game. Yeah. I want to play that game, though, because it's just, come on. It's like the... I still haven't played the... The Walking Dead. What was it called? The Legends?

Huh? Legends or Destiny. Destinies. I still haven't played that. I think about that every once in all. I'm a better man and you, Rick. Boy, I think about that a lot,

like that scene to just fight you. I mean, it makes sense if the zombies are going to be so durable, the humans have to be more durable, I guess. That's so dumb, that's a terrible reason. You got to make dirty stupid people. I mean, they have to see,

they should have done what, like, other games did, like, injustice. Oh, we take a pill, so we're as strong as like Superman and shit.

Yeah, they take a pill. Yeah. So now there's an anti-zomby pill, I don't know. It gives you... Just the most basic fucking explanation. Speaking of zombies, the Marvel zombie shows came out, it was pretty fucking good.

Other than the main character, other than the main character being Kamala Khan, it was really good. What is it on Disney? Kamala Harris is in Marvel? Kamala Khan. Oh, wow. I know she's a con, man.

Is she like, oh, I see. That's why she's on the tour, like she's promoting... Because I thought she was touring to promote her book, but I think she's promoting the Marvel Zombies, I guess. I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah.

It bothered me a lot because it was still MCU Spider-Man. So he started talking and I was like, I am so sick of this version of Spider-Man. What was it? Tom Holland? Was it Tom Holland? It wasn't Tom Holland. It was that same version of the character effectively. Pretending to be like him.

I want to hear meme jokes? I'm going to say jokes instead of, you know, being a part of the situation, that's serious. And it's like, come on. You witness genocide and all this crazy. It's just time to grow up, bro. Like that's me, it'd be like, this is. not. It's time to grow up.

Stop. I don't know. I think that's what Spider-Man is. He isn't. He was that for a period of time. He has grown beyond that. It really bothers me. I just don't think that's how that works.

I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. And you're right. I just think like the way that the way that iconic characters work is not how that works. I agree that Spider-Man for a period of time. They stay in their most iconic state in the most in most people's minds forever, even if they grow. I agree with that. I agree with that.

But I think that's, that is reductive. But I understand what it is. Like, if you're, gonna launch spider man you can't launch spider man as 35 year old spider man uh well you could i mean the ultimate universe did that right but that's not that's books if someone's but that will never be but that will never be someone's default spider man you know um yes for me now spider man default is the uh is like post college and everything for me spider man default is the is is uh it's specifically just the scene of him in in the first movie where he's calling the call calling the guy gay

he'll call him gay he insinuates he insinuates it he insinuates the he's very gay and that it's a bad thing he actually doesn't i know i doesn't it's actually up in the air but i think he does well like he doesn't it isn't defined what i mean how else can you i always read it i know but i i always read it even as a kid i read it like oh that's the kind of guy who would be bothered by this yeah absolutely so he's going to say it yeah like it doesn't make it right it's like it doesn't make it right but called me n-word so i'm gonna call me n-word that's basically yeah it's exactly that's my kind of no but he isn't though that's our kind of right It's just in another universe, like, you can make that argument that, like, say, if Bonesa happened to be a light.

If Bones don't have to be in. Nice costume. Nice costume. Edward. And he just straight up. The, the cosmic. Everyone stops. We only get to say one in this movie.

It goes so silent. The building goes silent. The building your aim goes silent. Sam Ramey's like, that's not it. Toby. We didn't tell you to say that. Fucking Bruce. Like.

Bruce Campbell's like Uh, Bruce Campbell's like that at the hand from Evil Ned's like, cut it. I'm out of here, you know. Don't go make it up.

He, Toby McGuire improvised shouting the Edward of Macho Man Randy Savage as Spider-Man in his first movie.

That would be a wild timeline, man. That would have changed the game. That would have been, there would have, we would have had Spider-Man 4, Spider-Man 5.

Or none. Or none of the only two options is, what if that, like sparked all of the dumb culture war shit like way earlier. Oh my god. That would have been funny because it wouldn't have had any near as much steam. I guess so since. Oh yeah. It would have been beyond it. Spider-Man could have saved us. If Spider-Man, if Toby McGuire shouted the N-word in Spider-Man won, it would have accelerated the culture war to a point before algorithmic social media and thus made it easier to defeat and now in this period in time in 2025 we would be far

over it. Yes. We'd be in kind of like a renaissance kind of period. So really, it's, it's Tommy McGuire's fault for not shouting the N-word

on the set of Spider-Man 2002 that were in this situation now. Potentially him saying that could have accelerated the Muzai guys of the country, the world, but at the same time,

I understand why he did it. I don't. Do you guys think that Spider-Man would have been as popular if they would have revealed he was black, like maybe an issue like maybe like 15,

16 they would have revealed way later on Like everybody would have been like fans And as Spider-Man Um Probably not But I think he would still be very When what decade was this The 60s

That's a rough one I think he would I think it would be more popular Than you would think still I think he would still be a popular character But not nearly Kind of like the way that rock and roll Back in the day

It was obviously Wildly Unavoidally popular Because it was just too good even though the powers that be in people, the influencers of that time, we're trying to be like, oh, don't listen to that black music.

Don't listen to, you know, they were trying to like suppress it. And then it was on different radio stations, but then when people started getting cars and their radios, they can just change to anything. They're like, what the hell,

them Negroes are fucking really swinging, you know, and then it was unavoidable. For me, I didn't, that could happen. I didn't grow up knowing rock and roll was black people music. I didn't know that.

So they, you know, eventually they did a great fucking job. It's kind of like most people don't know about little Richard, you know what I'm saying? But everyone knows about Elvis. But they know, like, they don't know a little Richard is like the godfather rock and roll.

And they don't even know about his predecessor, Tiny Richard. Yeah. Tiny Richard or even Pocito Richard or even Pocito Richard. Yeah, Pekito Richard. Spanish little Richard. He's a smaller Spanish little Richard. I mean, yeah.

Before him was Mini Mac. That's crazy. That's crazy, though. And then, uh, Chiquito Chink, you know, another one. Chiquito. Cheek is crazy. He's Asian and Hispanic

He's a I guess Tutti-futti Oh Tutti Listen While we're Correting off the clip here

Patreon.com slash SnarkTag Go over there Early access Ad free exclusive episodes We're a little behind schedule Because of all the bullshit

And then we'll figure it out Deal with it. Go over there Snartank. Snarktack dot shop for merch By the way We got some, I just got in contact with some people to do some fun stuff. Yeah, I got a piece for us too for Halloween as well.

Yes. Yeah. So that's, so check the store out. There'll be some Halloween merch very soon. What's up? My brain hurts. That was crazy. I am descendant of Lichot.

Richard. Richard. Richard. Richard. How do you do, how do you do like an Asian and Spanish accent? Maybe we don't. They don't really, they just switch into either one, whatever they're doing language. I guess we got to, let's go to Southeast Asia and just talk to.

Talk to Filipinos? Yeah. Just talk to Filipinos. Yeah, just talk to them a little bit. Like, hey, hybrids. What's up? What's up? Santo Bustamante.

Like, we're like, the fuck is. We got to, I just realized how derailed we got immediately. I don't remember where we are. I think we had like three separate things that we were about to talk about and then it just faded. Do you know how we got here? Because I remember. Didn't we start with Wolverine? Yes, we did.

Wolverine to a racist version of Little Richard. Yeah, there you go. It's sick. That's a good pipeline. There you go. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbeta.

We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better, AI coming up with quantum or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM.

I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.

To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, ORA-Ida, Silk, Capri-Sung, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more.

Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. for full terms and conditions. It looks good. Looks way bloodier than I thought it would be. It looked visceral. I was like, whoa.

Which is good. I mean, there was, it's only, you can't not do that. No, exactly. And you can't not do that with that kind of game of,

because you can do like a game Wolverine is kind of just like hacking through people. But like if it's a game that's like, if maybe a top down hack is as you can do. But like a PlayStation, like a, a AAA PlayStation game.

Yeah. About Wolverine can't not be bloody. Especially after they did already did origins. Like people have expectations to at least meet that. Exactly. But I guess I had doubts because I was just like, I don't know if they'll do it. Because insomniac is kind of pretty clean. They're kind of clean.

You know, Spider-Man 2 even is like, yo gabba-gabba to me. Like, it's crazy how like it's sanitized that game is. Yeah. It's clean relative. Like, yeah, I get it. There was a conversation that Miles was having once. It was like, I just want to understand people. And it's just like, brother.

I can't I this is so who the fuck talks like this man yeah it is very it is very like the least believable black Puerto Rican I've ever seen in my life it is very it is very talking about haircuts or fucking dancing or nothing nothing stupid it bothers me a lot because like I haircuts dancing my special interests are haircuts haircuts dancing uh starting fights cheating on my wife and um playing bachata at 3 a m really fucking loud Making smut films that no one will see on purpose. Making smutfields uploading them in places they're not going to get any traction. What is sadder then?

Nothing. There's nothing sad about it because you're doing it. No, but like is it, is it? You're filming sex tapes and you're uploading it to like www. roglyphs.com. Sex.org. Hey, sex.org probably gets traffic, dude. That was one of the first things I looked at.

looked up when I realized. Dot org? Well, not or. I tried everything. I did try sex.com and porn.com. I looked at big tities.com.

That's I did. Yeah. That's so specific. Tits.com. Tits.org. Tits. What if that's how we, what if that's how we,

what if that's how search engines had to work instead of just like going to Google. You had to go like, uh, uh, uh, read comedy festival. com.

But it wasn't like the website for it. It was just like, that's how Google searches worked. So I had to go like, divorce.com to learn about divorce. It's great. But it just like was it Google search? I have seen some people

they would try stuff like that. So they were looking for like LGBT news. They would put in like gay news.com or to see if anything would pop up. Gave news. Like just use Google. But before that's what Google. People that think like that shouldn't be able to use internet. Somebody buy that domain name and redirected to our, our podcast.

I would love that. Gay News. I want to subscribe our podcast at www. There's no way gay news is not like thriving. That must be taken. It's got to be thriving. It's a thriving community of gay newsists. Newses?

I don't know, news is. Do you guys ever use, are you guys too young for Ash Jeeves? I remember, I came in the tail end of Ash Jeeves, but I remember using it. Stupid Butler hang. Yeah, a little fucking dickhead. He's like, oh, and then there would be like little precursors, like prefixes and stuff that you can ask. So it would be like, why am I? And then there was that, and I would put gay.

And then you put it. Come on. How old was I? I was 28. How old was I? Is that Chief still around? I'm going to check after gay news.com. They became Jeeves, remember?

That's worse. Yeah. Yeah. I hate one website to change their names, man. Like I usually, I would use, you know, those Steam Key websites. So I would always start with because there's like Green Man gaming. There's a bunch of them. CD keys.

And then it's changed it to something. I don't remember. remember what the fuck it's called. Oh my God. It's worse. What will happen? Now it's just ask.com. Fuck off.

Wow. They just got, they killed Jeeves. They Jemima'd Jeeves. Damn. What the hell is this? I don't know. Jew minor?

Jemima, brother. I think gay news.com is like in Israel? What? Jew minor. The programming is messing up. Is that like Mike Shinoda's like Jewish fucking hip-hop project.

Jew minor. Yeah. You're Fort minor. Yeah. I know you knew but I wasn't like I don't know if he this nigga like I feel like he would you Kingston you would block that from your memory because you're like you would

never even like give that the time of day. Fort Minor. Fort Minor like Mike Shano. Give me Mike Shinoa the time. I know about Fort Minor but I don't like I don't like. Sure. I wouldn't like that's not something I would listen to unless it got like it had to get put into randomly into my mix.

Yeah. I'd be like I like I like this. I literally only like to remember the name. because it was just fun to I liked a couple of songs from there I thought there's one moment that I really like because they're with Jay Z

and like in when they were making it and stuff and they're listening to this like really heavy West Coast beat and like you know and then he just like in his fucking Jayzy ass voice and that beat is hot

and like he's just the way he says it it's so like he has one of the most like recognizable stupid voices that I like it sounds so dumb it's hard to person like it too like I just

I can't do it. Everything about Jay-Z reminds me of something silly and I just don't know. I don't like being rude to him. Yeah. Because I know he could make me disappear, but at the same time, it's like... So let me just say something right. So let me just say something right now, right? So I'm on ass.com.

Yeah. And so there's editorial features on here. And it's hilarious because the editorial... So the promoted articles are top 10 documentaries of 2022 so far. Oh. This is the front page. of this website oh that is still operating so I guess so far it's been like I guess it's been three years I guess it's they they bothered that's still pretty good

though I mean I mean that is more recent than I would excited me in like 2008 nine that actually died to me in maybe 2002 like I was very clearly I was easily on Google by 04 and there was nothing for me it was there was nothing that was taking me I was doing it to like 06 maybe seven really to like fifth grade Fifth grade, sixth grade. They really fucking killed Jeeves. I can't believe. Damn, they got, what the hell?

Why the hell did it? Look at this guy. Ask G. Oh, that's a throwback, bro. Isn't that crazy? He actually looks really untrustworthy. Like, he doesn't look like someone that I would actually, like, trust with a question. He looks as untrustworthy as anyone of his ilk would.

Well, he's a bald guy in, like, a pinstripe tuxedo. Like that's like a, that's a villain. Like this is somebody that this is either, this can only be Alfred or a monster. You know? There's no one between. Yeah, I'm sure he was a butler for like a very horrible person. Well, his name's geez. He must have been a butler.

He's like, he's Epstein's butler. Yeah, exactly. Epstein, shall I prepare the child? Ew! That's a. That is crazy. He looks a little like Clinton. A little bit.

A little bit. I mean, they got like some ancestry. That's so crazy. I want to go is this for Halloween. That looks crazy. You're going to go as Jeeves? Ash Jeeves is going to be my Halloween chest.

That's pretty good. Yeah, I'll gain actually that weight. That's pretty good. I'll gain the weight. I'll shave my head. You'll shave you. Okay.

Yeah. I love how many articles are just like, what happened to As Jeeves. Asse's was a character-driven natural language search engine launched in 1996. Jesus Christ. It changed to Ask in 2006. Oh, wow. I thought it was that Jeeves then.

No, no. They never did Jeeves. I bet the second they realized that they were locked to this fucking character, they were like, um, we might have made a mistake here. Right. You know, centering ourselves around a butler. most people can consider you know a slave

they're not slaves I mean here's an alternative I used to use mama.com it was an alternative this was like around when Google started coming up and the word Google sounds so dumb to me that I was like nah

so I started using Mama but Mama's gone it's now I don't know what it is Slut duck Ooh slut dot org Slut there's no I mean I know somebody bought it

They're probably like willing to sell it though. I want nward.org. I think that'd be fun. I bet you do. Or nward. Like hardar inward? Yeah. NWord.gov.

Dot gov. Like what would be on there? What the fuck would be? It's not going to be real, Derek. If it is, I'll drop off my face. Site can't be reached for the government website. That's so classic. Maybe EDU though.

Because people want to be educated. Oh, nothing. What about, give it was a solid.com. That has to be a dot com, right? Of course. Of course. What dot com? I'm sure.

Don't worry about it. All right. The funny word. All right, cool. Great. So, I love that. It just doesn't, it doesn't go anywhere. Listen, we're going to move on to questions, I guess.

Come on. All right. No. We got a lot of questions here. About stuff that we're going to talk about anyway. Okay, yeah. Wow, no hard. com.

What a waste. I can't believe it. What a waste. I'm surprised it doesn't, I'm surprised that it doesn't at least redirect to like Nick Fuentes Because, you know, or like something like that. Yeah. It's just like it can't be reached on.

I can't with that guy. I watched him in fucking Canada. So, one's talking about shit like that. And it's the shit that comes out of his mouth with so much like unbelievable confidence. That's just wrong. It's just wrong in race. It's so forward.

It's unbelievable. That's the only way to do it, man. It's like you're, he's like, there's no civilization in Africa. And it's like, there were civilizations in Ghana and the Congo. What are you talking about? Like, it's not about. We're not talking about Egypt. We're not talking about Egypt.

And I'm like, well, there's-Egypt is there also. I understand. But even if you don't want to count Egypt as a sub-sar Africans, which they are partially, but if you don't want to count them, there's literally Ghana, there's an ivory coast, there's in Congo. I'm generally, I'm generally, look, I don't, that Graham Hancock guy with like the ancient civilizations or whatever, like, I don't know. But I don't know how credible that guy is. I don't know. I think civilization is longer than we assume it is.

Yeah, of course. Yeah. Of course. That's, yeah, like, when we found that, that Lidar scan of, like, those, like, ruins in fucking the Amazon, I was like, oh. Yeah. Everything we know is completely probably, like, wrong. There's still much more about, like, anthropology and stuff. Yeah.

That's what it is, right? Anthropology, the study of humanity, yeah. Is it? I will take your word for it. I'm just asking. Sociology is humans, I think. Sociology is the study of sociopaths. So the study of who you were based on.

I'm not a sociopath. Well, no. You're not. You're a robot. Even my original was on a sociopath. He was a little silly. We blocked out a lot of the... No, you're wrong. I don't think I ever read a sociopathic person.

You remember that story? You told me about how you used to rip the legs off of chickens? Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to a. fullest potential to create smarter business. My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale.

Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind it. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. Wow.

So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology. It's getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals.

Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. That's so crazy.

That is so not me in general. Well, not you because it's your, again, what is the most core, I've ever done before? I think like, I don't know. Well, you're really only days old. Yeah, you're really only a day old.

You're still coming into your own. My previous version. This is why I'm not worried about like doing the, when you, what is it? when you teleport or the transporter stuff because like this guy thinks he's Kingston. Right. Yeah. So like I'm telling you, I'm not worried about it. But the real Kingston had the

experience of being molested to death in Costa Rica by a crowd of ravagers. An extremely gruesome death. Like, yeah. I don't know if you know anything about how William Wallace got tortured to death. It was very similar. Jesus. It was very similar. I haven't thought about that in forever.

I read about it in your obituary and I was like on your, you know, Kingston's obituary. Yeah, yeah. We'll just start, Kingston still. Yeah, yeah.

We'll keep it. We'll keep it simple. We'll keep it simple. So like, yeah, I read about you and your obituary. It was crazy and I was like, damn. And see,

the real William Wallace didn't cry freedom. That was from the movie Braveheart, but you actually did. That's kind of crazy. I was like, why the fuck did he, why did he say that? What is it?

For what? I guess he wanted to be free from torture. Yeah, probably. Free me. Any last words Please free Me free Please be free

Please be free Your brain was so fucking scrambled Yeah So terrible Anyway Like yeah Costa Rican Crabs on you or whatever Costa Rica is such a nice place too

Just hilarious That's why it was a very dark Chapter Coast Rican history Yeah it's gonna be in the books It's gonna be in the books for sure That's the only place in Central America that's like safe probably actually Really? Costa Rica?

Yeah, what's the best one? I don't know about the probably the old one. Yeah, maybe, yeah. Anyway, you guys want to move on to some questions? Sure. Let's do it. Remember, you can write in also Patreon to Contest to Star Tank. Remember, leave us a like, leave us a comment.

If you made it this far in the episode and you're watching on YouTube, most of our listeners are audio, which is, by the way, frustrating. Because we fucking have cameras and a whole. setup here, but like, whatever. Fuck me, I guess. Yeah. But if you made it this far, comment, what should they comment to let us know? Comment, swine droid.

Yeah, comment, swine droid. Hashtag swine droid in the comments. So let us know you made it this far. Remindon us some questions for our patrons over at Pinterest. com. Stock tank, remember you can go over there, ask us some questions. The nut rode in with a K. It's a good name.

Like no. Like no and knowledge. The Canut. The Canut wrote in. He says, you guys hear about Bill Burke going to that Saudi Arabia comedy show? It's a bummer IMO, but the YouTube comments for his podcast

have been pretty funny shitting on him. So this Riyadh comedy festival is wild because it's all of these communities. Dave Chappelle is going, which to me is the most egregious one, purely because it's just like, he in particular has made the,

like the most recent years of his career, which to be fair, he hasn't done stand-up in a while, or like, a proper special, but like, the most recent incarnation of this guy is like,

to put it, to stereotype it a little bit, that you can't say anything nowadays. He's always complaining about what he can't say. And then he accepts a gig from Saudi Arabia that specifically gives him a list of, like a crazy long list. I think one of the comedians leaked it or something.

I don't know who it was. It was somebody I never heard of. wise of him, by the way. Because now people know about them. Yeah, right, right, right. But, and it's just all the shit that you can't say. You can't criticize Saudi Arabia. You can't joke about religion.

Just all this shit. And it's just like, you, that is so crazy that you would accept that after going off on this tirade for years. Right. About what you can and can't say. It's like, man, I feel so fucking, my hands are tied behind my back in America. Anyway. Let me go to.

Let me go to the Riyadh comedy festival. That's crazy. It is insane. Yeah. It's actually crazy that I think people understand. Because it's government comedy. You know, it's like... Yeah, it's government sponsored for sure.

It's always cringe, man. It's always cringe inducing whatever government does this shit. Because it's like, what is it? Same thing with Tony Hinchcliffe at the fucking... At the Trump rally. Yeah. And she's just like, what are you doing, man? You fucking image you do.

You can't be a government-sponsored command. comedian. It always make me cringe too whenever like, even in like 2012 and 2008, whenever like they would have like, um, like some comedian go on stage with like Clinton and Obama or something and be like, I endorse. It's like, what do you, you, stop it. You're not supposed to be doing this. It makes you lame, I think. Yeah. I think there's a, there's, I think you can endorse somebody, but the idea of going on stage of them as a comedian is like, that's kind of, it's kind of gay.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. Feels inauthentic. Like, and the, and the whole point of why we like stand-up comedians is, is the appearance of authenticity, unless they are doing a specific gimmick, right? But, like, on average,

it's this person's telling it like it is. They're funny. They're being themselves or whatever the fuck it is. They have this appearance. And as soon as you're being paid to do a specific event at the behest of the government to where it's like you're trying to sanewash these people. You're trying to make this government person,

these politicians that have always been uncool. You're making them look cool and hip. Like, it never translates well. I don't know anyone who appreciates it. That's the thing that's weird to me. I've never seen, it doesn't matter who it is at any point when they've done a gig like that. It is never seen legit. I don't get it.

Dude, even Tony Hinchcliffe when he went on stage for the Trump rally, like even Trump was like, I don't know who that is. I don't know, I don't know him. I don't want to know him after he made the Puerto Rico comments. He said that verbatim. There's an interview of Trump being like, I don't know who that is. I don't know him.

I don't know him. So good. I'm like, bro, that's crazy. Because now you didn't even get anything out of it. Nothing. You know,

you just got like, I guess you got paid, I guess. He got paid. But like, it was embarrassing one of these is like Tim Dillon, which is funny because like he,

you know, he's, I mean, Tim Dillon is like so compromised. It's insane. Who's him Dylan again? Tim Dillon? A fat,

fucking blonde, gay. He's like a long island guy. I'm literally gay. I don't say that as like a jokingly gay But he has a lot of jokes about how he's you know He's like a straight appearing Gay man

Yeah it's a part of his like stick that he uses a lot But um a lot of people like him But it's very clear Because one of his things I'll like to continue Is that he Has always been authentic about how he wants money and fame So that was kind of the past Him selling out and being open and honest

That he wants more money and he's he's willing to be, you know, Theo there, is Diobon going on? No, but DiO has his own thing going on. Did you see that?

No, whatever. He had like that comedy, he was taping a Netflix special. No, and he just completely bombed. Oh. It was like two hours long

and he kept like taking like 10 minute breaks or something in between. And he had to like go run backstage multiple times to like ask producers what his punchline was. What the hell? And at the end, there's like video of him like going up to people was like,

I'm sorry, man. I'm having a long month. I'm trying to. not to take my own life, you know. But it doesn't look like he's joking. It's kind of crazy. I know this guy, him, right? Yeah.

Do you not know Theo Vaughn? No, he's talking about Tim. Well, he fucking... Oh, do you Google Tim Dillon? Yeah. He fucking, you, you asked about Theo Vonn and then immediately stopped caring and went to see what's going on. I was thinking of him.

I was like, do I know this fella? Yeah. I mean, I've seen Tim Dillan be funny. Like, it's not a matter of that. It's just a matter of just like, man. Because he went and did it. And then he got fired for making jokes that were in, appropriate for the comedy festival, which to me is like a double, like that's mega embarrassing

because you sold out and you didn't get paid, you know, you didn't even, you didn't even come out of that with anything. And to me, I look at that, I don't know, I look at that like, I don't know, man, just, but the Theo Vaughn thing is, is very funny. I'm trying to kill myself. Were you about to say something about that? Yeah, well, but the Theo Vaughn thing, I don't, I don't know anything about it. Like a really tough time. I'm not trying I'm having a tough time, man. Yeah. Thanks getting crazy, man. I just, I don't know.

I think it's because the money's good. I think it's because that video of him was used for the, what is it, the Department of Homeland Security. You remember that? Oh, yeah. It didn't happen. Which one? So there was like, I think I could be wrong. I don't know if it was the Department of Homeland Security or if it was like the White House proper or if it was like ice proper.

But like they shared like a, they've been doing these like meme promotional videos. You know, they had the Pokemon one. Did you see? where they had like got to catch them all and it was like about like deportation. Oh and Pokemon was like hey don't do that. Yeah. They didn't say don't do it.

They said, uh, we didn't know about this. This is kind of dumb, but they're not going to do anything about it. Yeah. Which is crazy because it's just like you will, they've sued children.

Like Pokemon will sue a child and like send them into destitution for the rest of their lives. If they like pirate Kirby too. But like, you know, the government can just misappropriate their IP and they're just, for, completely nefarious purposes. And they're just like,

ah, whatever, who cares? And it's like, all right, fuck you. They could win too, probably. Probably, actually. Nintendo, the way, it's just not worth it. It's not worth it, I guess. Because we know how fucking vindictive Trump is.

Well, he'll, he will find a way to hurt them in the end. And that's most likely what's going to happen with, like, say, ABC or Sinclair, all that shit when they got back Jim McKimell, for example. That's true. But so, like, there was a, there was a Theo Von video that they used to open. I can't remember what it was or like what he said.

It was like some punchline to something he said. I don't think what he said was actually related to the footage that they were using. I think it's just kind of like an out of context clip or whatever. Yeah. But they used it to kind of like a bookend or like intro, like a montage of people getting deported by ICE or something. Yeah. His context, if I remember correctly, was somebody, which is, this is, it feels good, right? It's kind of like cathartic when you see somebody.

Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM Research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.

Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right?

Yeah. My cell phone is a mature. technology at this point. How far are we from that point with quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, or Ida, silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin,

then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick-up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. That voted for Trump crying that now either they're being deported or one of their loved ones are being deported and he's like, oh, like, oh yeah, that's happening? like bye or so I forgot what he said something that is so like feels heartless and then they used it in the context of like the people who were just that didn't vote for Trump or nothing they're

just being rounded up because they're fucking brown and it sounds like he's celebrating that technically yeah and so he was like he's basically half Hispanic which he's funny as shit ever but yeah so he was like he responded to it he was like hey I don't I didn't say that this was cool I didn't sign off on this what are you doing and so I think that's probably got him spiraling a little bit Because like, I bet that's not a great feeling. Yeah. He's probably realizing that being a centrist while he's navigating this,

essentially just means that he's right wing at the end of the day because they're going to use his, they're going to use his centrism. Ostensibly, yeah. Yeah. They're going to use it. Yeah. It's like it's not, it never lends to. It's kind of like why the argument.

I was just watching something. Couldn't fucking believe, you know Ezra, Ezra Klein, right? Yeah. Yeah. So he, he was, he got so much shit for writing it. article about Charlie Kirk and it was like, Charlie Kirk did politics the right way. Like he was basically, everyone was like, excuse me? What?

Can I have a serious question? He didn't kill anybody, so he did it the right way. Where is all this, where is all this revisionist history coming from? I don't know, man, whatever. Like, it's so strange. It happens immediately all the time to be fair. Well, that's true, but the problem is that this is this guy's life of sense. Like, I get it.

Like, I get it. Obviously, you know, there's always going to be people who are like, yeah, but like Kim John, You know, he was kind of a nice guy You really think about it And it's like, well, Charlie Kirk's whole career Like, I think it's the idea of people It's the, it's the thresholds for people Yeah

It's like you're not racist If you're not actively screaming The N word at people Or attacking them And it's like, well Let me be fair to Because like Ezra, he defended himself On what his thoughts

What he had a discussion slash debate With the Tennessee Coats Do you know that guy? Tennessee Coats? Yeah The writer? Yeah. Oh shit, that's amazing.

So they had a discussion. So I guess I didn't know as a client. Of course, everyone has a podcast. So he has a podcast. Didn't fucking know. I just found out. So they have a discussion. I had to watch that actually.

It's great. It's great. Because it's colds to rip his ass open. Of course. They're being so cordial, but he's also so like, man, this bothered me so deeply, for obvious reasons. And it was the same thing where like I wanted people to understand because like it felt so good watching that actually for an example.

When because I felt the way that he felt. reminded me how I felt when I was watching the UFC and I saw the memorial for Charlie Kirk and I'm like, there's people that don't look like us that don't understand how hurtful that is. They're never going to understand. They can't. So they can't understand it. So it's like this was a very good conversation and like all of Ezra Klein's fans were completely understanding. But I was just want to say that his argument is that he thinks the way that we've been treating

the right has been pushing them further to the right. and so he wanted to try to find humanity within Charlie Kirk but like to say Takeshi and Taneshi and I and many other people still completely disagree because it's like you can say your condolences and shut the fuck up about anything else you don't need to say he's you don't need to whitewash him and so it was weird but he's basically without saying it he was trying to be like I'm trying to do a political strategy because he thinks that we got whipped in this election because this this and that but it just it seems weird dude like the it seems weird. I don't understand.

It's all fucking weird. I think even just like... That centrist shit just doesn't... Because it's like, okay, he's doing a centrist thing. If you're somebody on the right, are you going to support the center right person or the full right person? So what the fuck is the point? You know what I'm saying?

I mean, I don't know. I think the centrist's bullshit is a sin. You can't be a centrist. It's just when it comes to... I just think it can be a centrist when it comes to like numbers. You can be a centrist in the sense that. You can be a centrist in the sense you can understand, you can look at a situation from all the perspectives, right? But then to just sit there and not actually feel anything about any of it and just to not

actually take a stance is just lame. I would consider myself a centrist probably in the sense that like I know what people are talking about. Like I see what people on the right are saying. I don't agree with it. I don't think, so the thing is, you know, I don't think, I don't think, I don't think centrist. I don't think centrist.

It's like, I don't think that means anymore. like a position unless you are being inauthentic. What I mean by that is you come to a conclusion. It is always fine to start in the middle and then you come to a conclusion. Yeah. And so if you... I think it's the starting place, not a place where you're one of those... But that's how I always viewed it as like, that's how I always viewed that term, right? Or it's just like, I start from the center because that's the right way to start because it means you have a plain view of everything. But you can't just stay there because then you end up just kind of like, uh, neutrality means that you don't really care

Either you don't care Or what the people are actually doing Yeah Is pretending Like boogie Oh like can we It was kind of like can't we all just get a long thing Boogie was highly cute

Oh yeah yeah I forgot Boogies are there I forgot Boogie nights Maybe Mark Walker Yeah so I was talking to like Coked up trying to fuck somebody Dude I totally forgot that he was a real person

He has been like Essentially dead Like he no one talks about anymore. But I just remember he got attacked like ferociously years ago when he went on the H3 podcast and he was talking about gay rights I think

and he was like what if we like slowly implement it so we don't anger the other side as much and it's like what the fuck is like that's not a real position when you ask him would you think everyone should have equal rights right now? Yes so what is this citrus bullshit? It's not it's inauthentic it's not real

and then there's the propagandist one right like what everybody thinks the centrist on the surface is what Boogie is practicing. Like, oh. That fucking British piece of shit. What got his name? That guy. Pierce Brodman.

I love that you always think it's Pierce Brosnan. Are you talking about Pierce Morgan? Pierce Morgan. That's awesome. You've mistaken Pierce Morgan for Pierce Brosnan at least like four separate times. Is Pierce Brosnan a human being or is their character? Yeah. Pierce Brosnan is 007.

Oh my God. That's why I go there. Although I know him as the dad or like the. the what is it the competing love interest in Mrs. Delfire? He is. Run by fruiting.

We fucking throw the fruit at that motherfucker. That is a crazy specific line to pull. Having that down-polled it is crazy. I saw that movie recently and I didn't remember

that line exactly. I really liked that movie. I like that movie a lot actually. It's a good movie. It's a very earnestly loving story about a dad and his children. I love

Harvey Fire scene in it? Yeah, yeah. It's hysterical to me. They just let that guy on set talking like that? That was a precursor. It's scary. To RFK, really. We really should have, like, drew the line at him, really.

But everybody would have been like, that's because he's gay. And then, like, that would have been bad. Well, he is gay, but also he sounds stupid. He is gay, but his voice is very scary. It's not that he's gay. That might do something to make him. We're going to make you over Robin Williams. And I was like, how does that happen?

I don't know. Too much cock? I think probably actually Bro cancer Oh wow And then after a while I think that's what happens To be with throes

When they get fucked up Well I'm sure But like I mean Do you think that was what it was? I mean probably the gay stuff That's like Michael Douglas How he got the throat cancer For me and Catherine Zeta Jones out

Yeah Like I eat way too much pussy I eat way too much pussy I got throw cancer That's actually real apparently It's probably so rare No what I mean like Apparently like there is like a link

That is like non-zero If you eat pussy You could get Throat cancer Like more like you're more likely to get it That's crazy Whatever fine by me

What a way to go you know Yeah I need more pussy if my neck was like Not fucked And like it was long If I had like a like a snake neck Or Yeah like that

Yeah if I was like that I think I would be like more Like I can Extends out Dude my neck Like the fucking Deathbirds From fucking Elden Ring

Oh yeah Those fucking assholes I hate those fucking I love knocking them out the sky Stupid fucking fucking Fucking flying Nick pieces of shit. What the hell's wrong with you?

Fly. We got to tune that down in the code. Yeah, yeah, we got to reprogram. He's sorry, man. God damn. But yeah, would you guys, for let's say, $500,000

would you do Saudi Arabia festival? Do you have a price? No, I don't think I have a price right now, but that's saying it's what the money's put in front of my face. I think I would probably have a price. Because to me, I don't care about, you know what I mean?

I'm fine with there being limits on what you can say, I guess. What do you think your prices? Well, okay. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbeta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether

it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up. with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.

Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.

To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, ORAIDA, Silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meats, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more.

Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. see website for full terms and conditions. Okay, well, I want to explore that. Sure. What do you think of your prices, though? I don't know.

For the Saudi, well, I'm not a real comedian also. Well, the thing for me, what do you mean? What do you mean? I don't do stand up. Oh, okay. You're not standing. I got you. I got you.

I feel like it would be tricky because I remember turning down an immense amount of money a long, long time ago, specifically because I didn't want to be told what to say and do. And that was when I had way less of like a, a cultural standing than any of these people at their like advanced. Like Kevin Hart doing this is fucking ridiculous. Kevin Hart's there too.

Kevin Hart, that to me is the most egregious one because like, bro, what the fuck do you need? He has so much money. What are they going to do? They offer you a height extension surgery for free. What are you doing? What a pussy.

I can't believe that. Because he's definitely being paid like a fraction of what he gets for like, I think the highest thing was like, I think 1.6 million. Which for Kevin Hart is nothing. I wonder if how true that is, though, because I, this, because this happened like when Joe Rogan was getting paid by Spotify, the numbers that came out the first time, I think we're completely wrong. And the reason why I think that is because the sports broadcaster Bill Simmons, most people listening to this don't know who the fuck Bill Simmons is. No, I don't. I don't know who he is. Yeah. And so the thing is he was getting paid. Is that the gay workout guy? No, it should be though. I would, because he's way more known. But like Bill Simmons is just in the sports world well known, but nowhere outside of it. Old white guy. No one can. There was the bottom. But he, when he signed a Spotify deal way back in the day, like say, 2018, 2017, whenever the fuck, before the pandemic, it was a quarter of a million dollars.

And this people don't, sorry, quarter of a billion, sorry, quarter of a billion. Yeah, so $250 million. His contract was $250 million. That's crazy. People don't know what fuck he is other than the sports. Everyone knows who Joe Rogan is. So people were saying 400 million. I was like, no, no.

It was probably, it was probably that a year. Like, I just, when you think about like the contracts that Spotify was handing out. out, I think it was getting way more money. And so when it comes to like these people leaking this, they saw one number and that was the highest number they saw. Kevin Hart, if he was doing this, was definitely getting paid way more. Maybe, yeah. Seeing what they paid the box, because I've been looking at the what they pay the boxers,

at least it's very transparent what they pay them technically. And what they're paying them, they paid an MMA fighter who wasn't even the champion anymore, Francis Ngano, was not the heavyweight champion in the world. He relinquished his thing and went to go do other stuff, boxing, and, stuff and they paid him 10 million and then next time fucking 20 million and he's not even that's not even close to what he's worth right willing to just throw buckets right but here's the thing too about that is that like Kevin Hart specifically there's really no amount of money that would make it okay for Kevin Hart oh right no you're still right about that I actually like for Tim Dillon

I think it's like whatever it's embarrassing but like I don't know man like to me if you're not like this kind of like cancel culture guy and you're like you haven't made a big fucking deal about like we can't say anything fucking in America everything's falling apart. If you're not that guy and you're like a small time comedian and you're being offered like something that could like really materially change your life, I guess

fine, I would still have issues with it but I don't have nearly as many issues with it as I do for people like Bilber or you know Kevin Hart or Dave Chappelle who are set yeah. Like you don't need, there's no material reason that would, there's no, there's nothing that would change your life

about doing the show. Bill Burr's the only one. Bill Burr's crazy to me. Like, that's what, like, he's the only one that's really. The only saving grace for this, yeah. Really is if they go there and they get arrested.

Yeah. That would be the only way that they could really, like, turn that around. Because like, what are you, what are you doing there? For no reason. Everybody, I'm going to be honest. Everybody else, to me, in my opinion,

I just, as far as, even with all the stuff that Dave Chappelle was saying, I think a lot of was inauthentic. There was things within his stories. Especially when he was talking about trans people, for example, and some of the things he was doing, I was like, this guy's full of shit. And I was, I was bummed out.

Because he made up a story about having this trans. He made up shit. And their friend, like, no, this didn't happen. And it's like, that's crazy that he fucking did that. Just using a dead trans person and being like incorporating into a story, crazy. That's like that, uh, camera. A necromanal character I've used before.

Where he particularly only resurrects trans elves. Wasn't there like a Middle Eastern comedian who did something like that where he like he would like make up stories? Yeah, I don't know his name. The Indian guy, right? The one I was talking about all the three. I don't think he was Indian. But he might have been Indian. I know I see his face.

I don't know his name. He's a son guy. Yeah, yeah. It's the one that. He's an medium. Mediameh. No, yeah. I think it's that one.

Yeah. Yeah, he had like these inspirational stories or whatever. Yeah. They were just completely made up and that's presenting them as real. It's that. presenting him is real because some people try to. make the argument that other comedians love at the time. I'm like, that's not what we're talking about about that, though. Yeah, Anthony Jezelick, nothing, nothing that guy says is real. Yeah. People like that

can differentiate or it's like, no, these guys are saying this is a real thing. Yeah. When Dave Chappelle tells a story, like, it's not presented as a bit. Yeah. It's like, and to be fair, they're good bits. They're good, like, they're good, it's good comedy. It's good and it's well constructed. Absolutely. But like, yeah, if all of that is fake and you're presenting it is like authentic, it's like, that's different than a comedian going like... Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta.

We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer, what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerates, operators go together. It's our DNA

to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience,

the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone

is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.

That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com

slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online.

Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. I was at the bank the other day, but he wrote it like five years ago. you know what I mean so clearly this was not the other day right that's fine yeah it's like a lot of people's lives like it's like it's like an artist like a music artist singing like a song like a

like a song that he wrote for like a girlfriend in like high school but he's like 65 but like it's a hit song so like obviously this is not relevant but people like it 100 so like i get it but like it people understand that but it's some people it's just they're irrationally making excuses when they know in their hearts of hearts that doesn't make sense. They're just trying to find anything to, um, to be able to continue to support the artist that they like. And this is going to be a hard one for Bill Burr fans because a lot of the ones that have

signed on recently within the past few years, um, because he's been much more vocal. Like, especially when he's, um, push back against Joe Rogan when they, when Joe was trying to talk about mask and all that shit and like,

you're like, dude, no, let's not do this. Yeah. Um, this is a weird one. Even for me where I'm like, Bill,

what could you possibly say? He's going to have to go up there and say, like, I'd hope he'd go up there and it says some fuck shit. Or like, he would just have to be like, hey. Hey. You know? You ever wanted to hit a woman? I have. You ever want to hit a woman?

I do. You know? Listen, man, it's a weird, it's a weird thing when there's a lot of WWE wrestlers that have more morals than these comedians. Because when, when Khashoggi got fucking dismembered all them years ago, the W. The W. We partnered with Saudi Arabia and they were doing like 10 years.

and they're going to do an event like once or two two events a year and a bunch of wrestlers and to WWs credit I you know it's a weird thing to say that even though they made a deal with Saudi area but they didn't force them to go they didn't fire them whoever didn't want to go a lot of like John Sina like a lot he probably went eventually though I just I haven't kept up with it he probably went by himself but there was a lot of I'm John Sina you guys all like me I know this he went he went Sammy Zane obviously he went he went dressed as peacemaker I didn't go Peacemaker way. That's great.

He went to make peace. I still have to see that. I haven't seen that. Season two is ridiculous. I forgot about it. Season two is like... I think I still have to finish season. No, I finish season.

Season two is like ridiculous. I don't watch it. Let's not good. It's super good. You should watch it. But yeah, fucking, I don't know, man. I can't fuck with it, man. I'm absolutely, every time journalists get murked.

Like, to me, that is like one of the most egregious things to me because it's like, first of all you're not supposed to kill the messenger. You know, that we all understand that in war. you don't kill the messenger. These people are writing, they're documenting, they're exposing things that we need to know.

And then all of a sudden you have these fucking people doing the most fascistist thing you can is killing journalists. It's happening in fucking Gaza right now. Hundreds of journalists have been killed. Yeah. And it's like, bro, we can't do this.

So then when one fucking got dismembered and it's like well documented that had happened, fucking remember the Charlie Hebdo? Yeah. When the Muslim, like all of that stuff is fucked up. So two,

look past that. you know for a giant bag I'm like damn even me I'm like if they were like we'll give you a million dollars I don't know what the fuck they would want me to do but I'm just saying if they're like a million dollars I'm like fuck man I think it would I would never get over it in the back of my head

so it's not worth the money I'm too I'm too built off of fucking the Rebel Alliance bullshit from Star Wars and all that shit for me to go up there and do that like my heart wouldn't be able to do it what if I'm gonna go up here I'm gonna have to say shit that's gonna get me killed unfortunately

what if Turkey a she like dressed just as Yoda was like... Because it would make me really sad because I'm like, I'm going to go up here and I'm going to say this,

I'm going to die and I'm going to die and they're going to kill Lily probably too. And I'm like, well, this sucks right now, but I have to.

I would just say, no, thank you. Yeah. I just don't have the heart to do it, but... I'm also stupid.

Not even if... Because that's just so much money I'm giving up that would change my life. It sucks. It is dumb. I heard that argument, too.

Some people said, if it's generational wealth, and this is the argument, It's generational wealth, which can do so much good for you and your family and your community. Also, the world is so retarded now, the way that, you know, basically we're entering Gilded Age shit again, right? That it kind of like, really at the end of the day, why are you focusing on morality? I know it's supposed to be for yourself, right? It's supposed to be for you and your, preserve your soul if you believe in one.

But at the same time, you know, it's some people say, I can cross that. threshold because now the game is too fuck now. I believe that but I believe that like this is my taking right. I think we have to hold morals because if we once we lose once we lose that

once that perspective becomes overwhelmingly popular then people like me will instantly feel repercussions of it. That is why I personally hope so. I'm not going to listen to a we got a fine tune this machine. I'm not going to listen to a robot tell me about morals. That's crazy. We got to like I've got to change your,

yeah, you're programming a little bit, it's a little bit too, uh, I don't know, you sound like fucking, what you sound like,

like fucking poo bear or something, I don't know. Yeah. Pooh bear talking about fucking the rebellious spirit of man. I'm here to tell you all that there was a

genocide on Gorman and someone shoots him in a back of head. Yeah, I really, I just don't know, I just don't know what this. I just don't know what these people are getting. That's crazy.

Fubare's saying Kushogi is so crazy I just don't know what these people are going to do What their material is going to be Like that's what I'm kind of Like morbidly curious about Like what the fuck can you possibly say in Saudi Arabia Probably just shitting on Americans Yeah, it's easy

I mean America's dumb you know Yeah easy dunk We're so dumb and fat over here My wife is stupid You know She's black She don't like that huh She walks over to me

He's like oh Bill Could you please Stop being a man And I say Shut up bitch And then they leaves And then he leaves. I really don't know how...

Two bags of money with the signs on them. With the gold of grills. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. It's a bummer. There's some real ones though out there. I mean...

Oh, it's Tom's and girls there too. That's not surprising. It's like, the weird thing is like... Oh, Tom's a girl? He morphed into his... Because he had a rich alter ego that a lot of people didn't understand. Because like, I've been following him for a long time. And he would use this alter.

Once he started getting rich and he started using this alter ego to piss people off on purpose. But it seems like at a certain point. He was like... He was red, right? Huh? He was redhead, right? What? No, that's Andrew Santino.

That's Santino. Who was also there. Oh, yeah, he is there. He is there. Him and Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee, I expect. Bobby Lee doesn't go anywhere.

No. It's weird that he even went. Well, they gave him a lot of money. That to me, like, Bobby Lee, like, Bobby Lee, like, the second I heard this was happening, I was like, Bobby Lee's clearly going to be there. I'm surprised. Like he's not like a moral eight. Like I don't really.

I don't know. I'm not even remotely offended by that. But like, dude, he would barely, he would, he's been on the Joe Rogan experience twice. Yeah.

And like they're like really close friends. And everyone's like, what the fuck's the deal? He's like, I don't know. You know, like, just go.

It's like literally an hour. You live like an hour away from him. I think he just doesn't like, uh, as far as I, I've seen from Andrew Santino and that, him like the bad friends guys. Like,

they don't seem like, all that. I mean, a lot of people are turning on the Joe Rogan's in general. Yeah, absolutely. Like, I like Mark Maron's out and Jean-Carlo, that guy, um, scores, he's, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's, no, he's, he's like a, he's like a, he's like a, he's like, He's the reverse. You know what I mean? Who would you call that?

So, Giancarlo, that guy's like, that guy's straight but seems gay. Yeah. I feel like, I don't know. Are you sure? I don't know. Describe the guy you're talking about. Is he like has a lot of piercings, kind of like a biker dude? No, what are you saying?

What do you think I'm saying? The guy that's what she called the Straggett. Giancarlo? Yeah. No, he's like the theater kid guy. He's like he's, uh, he's kind of, he had a special recently. I'll look him up. I can't remember his, I don't know.

Jean Carlo. I think he means to start making fun of comedians more in general. That needs to ramp up. Yeah, there was, like shitting on comedians more. The guy that made fun of fucking Theo Vaughan on that fucking thing. This guy?

Oh, yeah, him? Yeah. He looks like he was at Willie Walker's Chaga factory. He looks like he was definitely present shit. Gianmarco, Gianmarco, Searacy? I don't know, whatever.

He's funny. I like him. He's really in the time. But him, Mark Marin, all these people are kind of coming up out of nowhere and just kind of being like, this is a stupid. fucking like what are you doing right interviewing politicians on your comedy podcast right yeah like

we would never i've had by the way i've had people like reach out to me like politicians to come here which is like crazy no we would no bring them like please bring them no yes no we're not gonna do that so we can lampoon them please well first of all i've had people like it would running for senate or like or like something like that and they come i was like hey you know i'm like we're not like respectfully no i think it'd be funny i'm not i'm not i'm not i'm not I'm not going to have a politician on my fucking comedy podcast. Listen. It's insane.

I see, here's the thing. There are, if you, if you listen to the, the shows they go to, there's certain ones that they're never, they never ask certain people like,

um, they, they, they don't talk like, they're like, okay, uh, they wouldn't,

they wouldn't go on Mark Merrin's podcast. Okay. Some of them, sure. You know, because they know like, oh, I'm going to get grilled too hard.

And so, for example, us, we could, what would happen is they'd be like, don't fucking air this episode and say if we did they would sue us because you can sue for anything

and so that's kind of like how that would play out so it's there's no it wouldn't work unless you know say like an Eric like an Eric oh and live would be fucking awesome but the thing is you amazing you those people they're too if they would have to be so stupid because there's fall into that trap yeah they'd have to be so stupid but like it's literally

a bear trap and it's like yeah come here that's why like dude sit down sit down you can be a literal Nazi You can be I've seen a thing of like People like slapping their wives on the pussy And I'm like bro, what are you doing?

What do you mean? What are you saying? It's a train talking about Why are you seeing this? Was it Costa Rican bullshit? Yeah, I guess so I've literally never seen that This guy like his We gotta fine tune you man

My algorithm is My algorithm is done People slapping each other in the pussy? I don't understand My algorithm is like after the apocalypse Like well after How do you slap somebody in the pussy? Flat-hand, pussy. Isn't that just...

Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to that. Pick areas you can scale.

Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example, if anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experimenter. And we say you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process,

because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online.

Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. I guess it's the way you'd slap a butt cheek, but you just slap the pussy. Yeah. I mean, that seems like it's way harder to do. It's hard to do.

Wait, how is it? It's fucked up. It's like, I feel like you gotta go way lower. Well, if they're right behind me, like say, butt and then they turn around pussy. I guess if they turn around, yeah. Is it from the front? Of course.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I mean. You're thinking of, I thought they were bending backwards. I was like, that's crazy. Then you yank them over and make them fall on her neck. Because it was, it was my first visual.

Like, when Trump talked about grabbing them by the pussy. I'm like, what does he mean? Like, just like a good scoop up. I knew that immediately because I, Metal Gear, like the, what is it? That happens a lot for some reason. In Metal Gear, they just grab you by the cross. I was hoping that it was like,

it was like a straight like, you know, he would do it like that, like he's trying to like, callie Ma, like the pussy, yeah. Dude, I was getting tilted. Collie Ma. Because I'm trying to beat it on extreme. No, no, no murders. And I'm at that, the Fury fight, the cosmonaut dude who's like with the fire.

I've never shouted the N-word at my TV more in my life. Whoa. Interesting. Like 50 times probably in the course of like five seconds. I haven't played a game that's got me angry enough to curse that. That's not true. No, yeah, I haven't. What are you talking about?

In your life? No, not in recent times. Okay. No, not in my life. That's crazy, bro. You know why I am? The fuck, that's crazy. I remember you shouting it out the window.

I'd be winning in trials, scream the N-word. Yeah, you'd be streaming it winning. I'm winning. Imagine losing. I'm so angry. I'm still screaming it. That's crazy, man. Hey, bro.

Real gamer shit, man. It's real gamers shit. Yeah, it is. I want to start playing Cod again and see if I get more toxic. You do? Which one? All of them. Damn, like, my...

That's another thing, too. I was actually looking forward to Battlefield, but now, like, Saudi Arabia's going to buy them. And I can't... We can't do it. That's a lot... That's, like, too direct for me. What game company do I love...

What do they have with a Khashoggi skin? Would you play it? That is so That is so disrespectful It's crazy He's fucking That is like beyond He's floating but he's dismembered

Pre-order Benefit Benefit Billet Six for your Kishogi Skiske That's crazy

disrespectful actually Of course it is Like that is like crazy Like that is like so It's like dude This is really happened This is not a joke This is not a lie

When I went to school In upstate New York and Poughkeptsey Some kid got murdered he some guy shot him took his hoodie and wore the hoodie he killed him and down the street after he killed him

and I was like that is so that is so crazy that is like amazing that's like militant shit like that's like actually evil and I was like what the fuck that's RPG shit dude that is that is literally looting like your enemy's fucking sword after you kill him nice

I can use this better it's mine now this is way better than paying for things comparing the stats Oh, that's not sure. What's the serial number? That's cool. Crazy. Like in Borders Gate there, I made it. I made it.

So every shopkeeper I kill, I take their loot. In Balthors Gate? Yeah, why wouldn't you? No, they drop all the, normally they don't drop all their loot. They drop some of it. I mean, now they drop all of it. That's crazy. There's a code I put in.

So now I take all the shit. So I have shit I should not have. Listen, why don't you just have an unlimited amount of money? It's dead. You could just go. You fight someone of looters eventually throughout the story.

So I'm like, I'm just going to do this shit. Fair enough. Okay. It's crazy. It's really fucked up though. You're going to have a Charlie Hebdo map? We go through their office and shit?

Yeah, you go to the office? It's like capture the flag. Charlie Hebdo. There's like Jez-Suis Charlie. Yeah, posters everywhere. That's crazy.

I don't know, man. That's a real bummer. Because I was like probably the only multiplayer game I was looking forward to like this year. This year. this year. And so now I'm just like, all right,

I guess. Yeah, my multiplayer games are... So Zach Efron post an advertisement of that. Do you see that? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, they did, um, Zach Efron. They did a parody, they did a parody of the call. It was a, it was a disc track,

basically on the call of duty reveal. Yeah. Because call duty always has like celebrities in their marketing. So they just had like Zach Efron, Morgan Wall

and a bunch of these other celebrities like start the trailer and they just immediately get blown up by like a real soldiers. Yeah, but really fucking RPG just blows them up. It's good.

It's pretty funny. I mean, it's a bummer. It's the reason I haven't played, there's like a metal slug game that came out, like, a year and a half ago or something like that. And it looked really cool. But like, it's just too direct, man. Like, I understand that there's like no ethical consumption or whatever. And like every company is doing some shady shit that like you don't support. But like, it's one thing to be that kind of indirect and another thing to be like, oh, buying this directly.

Yeah. Like goes to the pockets of people who kill journalists. Yeah. That's kind of nuts. Yeah. That's why, like, I'm not buying a peacock for, like, UFC anymore. Like, I was gonna, next year they're gonna inquire it. That mean, they're gonna acquire it.

And, uh, now it's like, fuck. Sorry, continue pirating. T's a-z-a-oh. I just gave up to UFC anymore because of like this. I don't know, man. It's pretty gross. Even, dude, it wasn't like this. That's why it was like, like, they were, they were like,

I'm freaking, what you call it? What do you mean when you say that? It wasn't like a, they were like good dudes. Like, no, like, like, I, like, Like, I kid you not. They're fighters. You know, I believe you.

You take that what it is, people that are fighters. But a lot of them were pretty sound-minded, pretty decent people. There were eras. Let's, let's, At least the time when I was watching it.

So, like, let's put it this way. I live outside of that world. So, like, my immediate assumption of everybody who does, he's like, oh, you're crazy. To a degree they have to be crazy.

Like, you want to hit your wife, but you can't. So you need to take it out of people. They want to hit their wives. They still do. They still do. Like, Dana still hits his wife. Like,

there's um there's um he's mad that he has a woman's names but he's like i can hit you i'm dana also if you want to look up a crazy story like a true crime story just look up war machine true crime that guy beat the absolute piss out of his girl it was crazy it is fucking crazy that guy still in prison this was years ago anyway um there were factions it's funny like they're like they're fighting camps they're like teams and there were some factions that were just fucking stupid. So you had like Team Alpha Mail. They were a bunch of dumbass bros. They sucked. And then you had like say a lot of shit that was going on

in, um, and actually in Orange County. A lot of people that were associated with the tap out brand and shit. So like the Tito Ortiz is there were some piece of shit. Ken Shamrock like all those people. Cortez is a jacket. But then like most of it though, the vast majority were people that just liked mixed martial arts and they actually liked, oh, I want to get my black belts and uh, jujitsu and all this shit like that. And then after Trump won, Dana was like, oh, I have.

have to make sure that we never run out of money, we're going to make like kind of like NASCAR and all that shit. It is strictly a right, a conservative sport essentially. Some people on the left obviously like the cars, but it's overwhelmingly in those rural areas. So that's what he wanted to do. Just make sure it has an audience forever.

So now it's a fucking Republican national convention. Effectively. And it's starting to bleed into their prospects now. The Dana White Contender series, which I used to love watching. Now some people are showing up and like, oh, fucking gay people and shit. I'm like, bro, what the fuck is this? I was like, it sucks now.

I love it. American culture has always been toxic, and now it's like toxic in your face in the way that it wasn't for a while. That's the thing. That's the thing about it is that like a thing I see a lot is like, well, at least they're honest about how dishonest they're being. Like, at least it's out in the open and not hidden.

And it's like, that doesn't like make it better. Like, Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale.

Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service, 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did.

We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology. is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor,

ORAIDA, Silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meats, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. What do you mean? You can commend someone for being outwardly racist.

At least I know I have to avoid them, but they're still a racist. You know, like it doesn't make it like good. It doesn't change anything fundamentally. Like to me it's like, okay, sure, but like, it's like the difference between like an honest pedophile and like a one, somebody that hides it. Yeah. It's just like, okay, I guess you're still a demon.

Societally, I think we would, we, we would try to destroy the person that's open about it. Kind of in the same way, it's like, um, well, I know. I don't even know nowadays. Maybe not so much as now. I think I earnestly and I really believe this, I think Jared Fogel could like run for office when he gets out. Oh, he could any of them can...

I think he could spin it like I was framed. You know what I mean? Oh, 100% He could be like the left wing planted all this fake bullshit about me. I think he would immediately...

This is how bad it's gone, right? I think that if, if the files get released, right? When if I was released, if they get released, right? Those things are gone. When, if they were released, right? If his name was on it

directly corroborants like that, I think there'd be way more people. Like, he'd lose all of the moderates. Who we talking about? Trump. He'd lose all the moderates. I don't think so, man. No, no, I think he would lose a lot of the moderates.

Who is moderate anymore? Who are the moderates? I think there's a lot of moderates. I think, for the setting, there's a lot of moderates. I think a lot of people are not exactly on the fucking big MAGA train, but they're like, oh, I fit more on this side because I'm kind of annoyed in how much the world is changing around me and I'm not adapting to it. I think that is the majority of people. I feel like if you're a moderate, you would have jumped ship a long time ago.

Like, you wouldn't be like, oh, they're sending troops into Portland. because they say it's war ravaged. I'm still a moderate, though. You know what I mean? No, no, I agree. I agree. I think there's, I think a lot of people are just stupid. I know you agree.

I've programmed you to do agree. That's insane. I think a lot of them, I think there's still more moderates and there are either sides, like either either the leftist side where you all sit and the, and the conservative side, the far right side. I do very much so believe that. But I think what happens is that I think he'd lose some of the moderates, but he would still keep his cultic side. He had to. Can somebody, just a quick, just a quick thing.

If anybody's watching this, can you please? I want somebody in the audience to take this episode and edit it entirely so that every time Sweene moves his arms, there's like servos. And there's like, I fucking knew it. I don't, when you started laughing, I was like, I think he's thinking about. Did you really? Yeah, that's crazy. I was going to start making the noises, but I really wanted to hear his point.

So I was like, okay, I won't do it. so thoroughly, like, that's how fried my brain is. Like, I was listening to you and then I just saw your ars where you were there. And then I thought, I thought out loud L-O-L. Oh, man, that's crazy. You thought out loud an action. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, let's move on. Let's get another question from Edwin Castillo. I recognize that name. I think it's a sacred guy. Uh, hello gay boys. Uh, you guys were talking about the rapture. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. We talked about it. Jack, well, you're getting ravaged in Costa Rica. Yeah. I was thriving with all my iguana friends, my little monkeys. Yeah. Scorpions crawling up your asshole and you're just rotting in the desert. Not the desert, but like whatever.

Not that it's quite literally the opposite, but yes. There's no deserts there, right? I don't think so. I think it's a tropics. I don't think you have the room. There's not even like a four by four. desert. Four by four. Like a little patch of sand. Like a little patch of sand, yeah. Like a sandbox? Well, I mean, yeah, I guess.

Well, a beach is a desert until the water. Basically. Are you stupid? Are you stupid? What do you mean? Are you stupid? You know what the desert is, right? You know what the desert is?

I think so, yeah, sand. No, that's sand, you retard. It's a fucking difference. Well, I don't, I'm not connected to chat GPT like you are, dude. I don't know the world What is it desert? A desert is hot sand A desert's gonna be cold

Hold on shh Hot, that's a tundra No, it's not A warm, a cold desert No it's not There can be Arctic deserts That's a thing That's a tundra brother

No it's not Yes it is Stop being dumb So a desert I think is A desert I think So what I assume A desert is Well I'm giving you my perspective

I think a desert is big sands Big sand Big sand Big sand. There can be Arctic deserts. What are you saying? There can be cold deserts. Like Antarctica is a desert as well too.

That's a tundra. And then there's frozen deserts. But Antarctica is an arctic is a tundra. I don't think it's a tundra. I think it's a tundra. I think a tundra is like the northern part of Russia. I think that's tundra. No.

Tundra is a type of environment. Yes, I'm aware. So it's not just in Russia. But I think like what that what that biome is is a tundra. Like up northern desert, up northern Russia is like a tundra. It is a tundra. Yes. but that is what that kind of environment is.

You need to find that kind of environment to call it tundra. But you see there's no sand. Deserts don't have to have sand. Yes, they do. Erid deserts have sand. Maybe food deserts don't need sand. What is a food desert? That's like where there's like no grocery stores within a walkable distance of like.

Okay. Bam. That was a good one. That was right. Yeah, I think that's food desert. So he's right about everything else. No. It's not that word.

No, no. deserts are large big sand no deserts are large arid areas if I'm mistaken yeah but arid equals sand you can't have arid without sand no all right it's time to that's why Arizona was named that's a aridzona

you know it's actually technically true that might be right well it's it's technically like the you're you're kind of on the mark of why Arizona of wise call Arizona it's just like no a um I've learned this too long so I'm not gonna like remember

but I just know it was named for its desert actual deal. I don't know what the word is derived from. I'm assuming it's Latin, but I don't fucking remember. There's, because there's Arctic deserts. I know that for sure. Sure, whatever. I don't believe. And they're just frozen places with nothing in there, really.

Yeah, a tundra. So, tundra's are different. We're going to move on. Edwin Castillo. Here we go. Let's get Google or chat. So we were talking about it. I really, I don't care about it either.

I could be completely wrong. You guys were talking. talking about the rapture and how some people might use that as a smoke screen to disappear or disappear or disappear. Oh, right, right, yeah, because I was like, oh, shit. Yeah. We didn't talk about that with a robot swing. Oh, yeah.

What do you think about that theory? He's Googling, I think he's trying to find the answer the desert question. We call that the DQ. Okay. The desert question? That's insane. That's great. I mean, I think about this should is stupid.

I don't know. I think, I think if you read the Bible or any of the Bible, that's, that talks about the rapture revelations. Right. You're informed that even the angels at God's side, his literal henchmen don't know when the rapture's coming. So I was some fucked hard idiot. Oh, sure.

Yeah, it's all fake. But like, we were talking about the idea of just like, let's say, like, let's say there's a small community that believes the rapture's happening on Wednesday, right? And then Wednesday comes. And then most of everybody's still there. But like, they use the rapture as like an excuse. so like, oh, that, that woman's pretty hot.

And they just take her and capture her and lock her in a dungeon. And then the rapture happens. And they're like, oh, she must have been the only pure person in the village. You got raptured. Doesn't that feel like dangerously close to like something that's plausible? I'm sure that's like that's absolutely occurred. Yes, it has to. You know?

So sad. People do it without the excuse of the fucking pressure. I guess that's all true. They don't really need, they don't really think that far ahead anyway. But anyway, so he says There's a supremely depressing HBO show called The Leftovers Where the premise is 2% of the entire population disappears

And there's this funny little subplot about Happy Days and how the entire cast disappeared And then people finding out that one cast member Actually didn't disappear And was just hiding out in South America This plot line in the background Last the entire show I watched a little bit of the leftovers

And I couldn't get that into it Is that not the Hassan show? Nope Like, isn't it? Isn't that what I was... There's a show called The Loftover. I feel like that's what I was watching while I was... That's so crazy.

Something like Richard Cunningham, Fonzie or something. Oh my God. They had a podcast or... I don't know. It all gets mixed up, dude. Right. All right. All right.

So what is your findings? So deserts are areas where it's a stream variety of range where it's always dry and cold. Tundras and deserts are very similar, but they're not the same. What are they? Tundras refer to high elevation. Like high elevation. Elevation refers to tundra. So is it tundra like the high desert of California?

Would that be technically a cundra? I don't, it's not high enough maybe? I think it might technically be, but I feel like tundra really always reverse to cold. So high elevation and cold. Like flagstaff maybe? I'm thinking,

they said like where northern, like, Siberia is like over in that area of the world where like that's high, high out longitude. All I'm saying is. High latitude. Yeah. And then really cold.

All I'm saying is generally like if you, opposed to dunders are very extremely dry. That's what a desert is. It's always a hyper dry areas. But deserts are also cold. They can be cold. At night. Like they're fucking free.

Yeah, they drop. So, like, that's kind of the thing for me. It's just like, I don't think a desert could turn to a tundra at night just because it's cold. I think tundra just generally first to like blizzard kind of like conditions, frozen conditions,

Antarctica, these places. Yeah, for sure. You're correct. You're correct. In that sense, in this part, not the prior. What was the prior thing that I said? I don't remember, but you know, you're not right. That desert is big sand.

Desert's not always big sand. There's Arctic. It's cold. not desert. He's getting worked up again. Again. Stop being so angry. I'm not angry.

I'm calm down. I'm passionate. That's exactly what fucking everybody says before they beat their wives into fucking death. I haven't beat Lily yet and I'm proud of that. Yet is a key word in that sentence. I see. It's a word in the sentence. I think beat is the skinny word.

Oh, shard of odium wrote in. He says, does the sweet animatronic double as a sex doll? I'm sure you could charge some Gooners to sex up that gap We didn't put a penis on it On purpose I get up and I show my penis That'd be crazy

Show your non-p penis What? It's nothing's there Yeah We didn't feel like a doll That's crazy It's crazy It was too expensive

It looks like a child's cheek That's how around It's smooth We uh it was just too expensive to get into. It was just like it didn't seem worth the expense. Yeah. You know.

For 40 bucks. Yeah. The whole project cost about like $14,000. That's a waste of money. But the $40 for the penis was just like. That's a waste of money. No way. Yeah.

Waste huge waste money. I'm annoyed that we didn't go for the straightened hair. Yeah, we kind of fucked up on that. Yeah, we just kind of like sent in like a, we said it a picture, kind of like you do it with haircuts. They're just like, just do this. Can you do this? Say no more.

Say no more. They had it done in minutes. It's kind of crazy. Technology's wild nowadays. Chinese, they work, man. They work fast. There's a couple of dead Chinese in you. There's like a finger.

They got like cut off. Do those videos are people getting sucked into the fucking laves? It's insane. L-A-T-A-T-A-E. What is that way? It's like a spinny thing. Oh, the thing that like mix is cement. It just turns you to fucking.

Yeah, it turns you into fucking. I've seen people stand. I saw one of those recently like on my four you page immediately. It was the first thing I saw. I was like, all right, well, I'm not going to. I'm not really going to spend much more time on here today. The funny thing, they go. They're working by like pipe or something like that.

And then literally like a key blast comes out of it. And I'm like, oh. That is crazy. Like literally. It's like a tiny out energy team. Like how trunks kills 18. Yeah. It's like that.

Literally. It's like, what the fuck? And everybody is like, wow. Back to work. It's like, oh, no. And everybody's back to work. And it's like, oh. It's like how the CEO got murked.

And then they just kind of went to the meeting anyway. Yeah. We have to do this. They even consider him a human either. That's crazy. They were looking at, wow. Yeah, they're, they are animatronics. Like, it's crazy.

Yeah. That is wild. They stepped over that guy, basically, to go to work. Yeah. They're just like, oh, crazy. I wonder who's going to fill in. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta.

We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines.

Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point. when it will mature, right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with quantum?

By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31. Spring in for storewide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, ORA-Ida, Silk, Capri-Sung, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin.

Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Do I get a promotion? What?

Do I get a promotion? I'm sure that was the first question. Do I get a pay raise? So our cuts are going up, right? I'm sure. At least for the few months to we get another position, right? Yeah.

Well, maybe we don't need him. Use AI for what he did. Yeah. I'm a billionaire and I still need more money. Yep. That's so crazy. I think about some of, I think about what it would take for me

to genuinely not want any more money and it's like not even close. It's not, it's really not very far from where I am right now, genuinely. Yeah. Like genuinely it's really not very far. Like genuinely maybe double.

Maybe a couple hundred K. You know what I mean? Generally maybe double what I make now. And I'd already be at the point where I'm like, I'm... Maybe you make $4. Yeah. So solid eight I'd be chilling. A year.

Yeah. Yeah. Soll it'd be chilling. I'd be chilling. I'd be chilling. You think you could survive on $4 a year? No. No.

Are you sure? I'd have to like, I'd have to rely on the goodwill of others, basically. Again. And I can't do that again. No, you've wasted all of it. Exactly. I have no more goodwill for people. I don't know.

I guess you can. You just got to rob people. Yeah, but I'm going to get killed eventually. Yeah. But all the people that's worth robbing are going to fucking try to kill me. But you could survive for a year, just avoiding getting shot in the face. That's crazy.

You can even get shot in your flesh wounds and stuff and pat yourself up. With what? With sewage and fucking garbage? Yeah. You pay a fucking pawn scum and you go to the you're the RFK school I have fucking purple veins on my fucking arm

because I'm so sick Dude What are your veins starts wiggling around It's like clearly a worm We humans are actually Like I feel sometimes almost like a hypochondriac When like something's slightly wrong with me Because I'm like

Historically seeing what some people have endured For many years Where like their body's gangrenous And they're just surviving There's sludge coming out of them and they're like still functioning and I'm like, bro, just die. Just die. It's over.

But they're like keep persisting. And I'm like, you'd be okay. I think there's a mentality thing for that. I think that's what it is. I just don't have the mentality. I have the die mentality. I don't have the survive mentality. We'll put it to the test.

I'm going to give you $4 right now. Because it's like some people that like, they go through really tough circumstances and they're like, you know, I made it. I'm happy. And there's people that like, they fucking break a fucking glass and they're fucking cook. And like days are cooked And it's like, what are you, what are you? What are you? What are you?

I would imagine in most, in most near death scenarios, I would probably be like, all right, this might as well happen. You know what I mean? I could see most scenarios being like, I'm not really going to try to get out of this. You know, like, if you were sitting in your living room, right? And then you look outside and then pillars of fire started emerging from like every like, like every like five feet. I'd worry about Lily. But after, but if it's just me, I'd be like, yeah, well. Yeah, like, I'd probably just sit there.

I'd probably just be like Like I'd try to find an exit Huge fucking tidal wave That's like 100 feet high And it's like coming to you're like up Like it's just just chill Yeah There's nothing you're gonna do about that thing

Just go bring your mattress into the bathtub Lay down the bathtub And cover it with the bathroom That's all he does Just Then like when I wake up from being unconscious The last like six hours I'm like on where am I headed

I'm gonna buy a scuba tank for that scenario actually Yeah that's a great it's a great idea. Yeah, you never know that might happen to us. You never know when a scuba tank might come in handy. Fucking asteroid,

you know, a meteor right fucking hits the water, the ocean and then huge fucking tide away. Like, oh, and then you just fucking, you know, everybody else is drowning,

but you're fucking like, you make it to the surface and now you're just one of the last people in the area alive with nothing to go back to. No, if a meteorite hits the ocean, there's far more going on than just that.

Like, it's over cooked. Hey, I'm going to, the current's going to take me to a really tall building. and then I'll... That's not falling over after all this fucking water is hitting it.

Yeah. People built some buildings for this scenario, man. No, they haven't. You know, they have skyscrapers. They have water scrapers. You know, there's actually a bunch of, there's a... Sea scrapers. There's this place in, I think it's Greenland or... There's like, if a meteorite hits or if like if a big yellowstone thing blows up,

there's like bunkers there. And a bunch of rich people have bunkers there. And I'm just like, I'd love to this, like, have them show up. And then I'm already there. And I'm like, hey, guys. you can't come in here yeah you start yeah blasting the kingdom cum

I hope they're made out of lead which I feel like they would have to be which is interesting shot and Freudian slip road and he says hello Chris Reagan Tom oh Chris Gaygun Tom weeny and Derek BBC man he wrote and he says

might need to make some adjustments to that Sweeney animatronic it doesn't say the N word enough interrupt people every five seconds or reassure itself that it's a good person after saying something out of pocket have a good one you three

that is true all of these are accurate to today actually like you haven't said the N-word nearly as much as I expected you to right you didn't uh you didn't reassure yourself that you were a good person you didn't even say anything out of pocket really either a lot of this is weirdly accurate despite the fact that he wrote this before he saw you

yeah I feel like I'm not usually that out of pocket I get there sometimes but like you know he's more out of pocket than I do I think sometimes most of the time yeah I mean I would say I don't know I would say there's individual moments

that are more out of pocket than you have been Yeah Like you say you can't believe that The Rizzler hasn't been molested yet It's probably the craziest thing I don't even remember the context of that I listen Every now and then I'll go back

And I'll listen to our episodes Just to look for like clips and stuff And I'll like I'll laugh out loud At some of the shit I do I remember the booms I do Just kidding

That is so fucking insane That's just funny I have a filter Because I'm like Maybe I shouldn't say If I said everything I thought I'd be like Come and get me

Well yeah That's most people They would teleport me out of the room I would just teleport away You just like your new style of comedy Is just incorporating the hard R and everything So like

Oh like you can't be free because of that You can't That's not my exact new formal comedy It's definitely my backup. It's like, I said it like this. Like, imagine like you do a front flip, right? And you fall. You're like you're doing a trapee, you know, like a fucking tight rope, right?

And you do a front foot, you land, you fuck up, right? Might as well shoot your pants, you know. Might as well. Try to divert it from it being you hurt yourself really bad or something to shoot your pants. I hope that happens to Benson Boone whenever he does his next flip. Oh, he does a flip. He breaks his neck then shits his pants. He folds in half and then he shits himself profusely on stage.

Like he looks like a box. That's how fucking badly he's broken. He gets toward it up. And he's just shits himself. And you're like, well, what's the fucking boy? You know?

He looks like a box? He looks like a box. He's like a flesh cube. He looks like Saul's things about to pop out from under. Oh, man. I wonder what's the,

never mind. What? What are you going to say? I wonder what's the most disfigured human ever from like an accident, but it's like, oh, Ricky Burrower.

Oh, it's crazy. He looks like a swastika. Like, He does. We've said that before. He said that before, but yes, he does. Yeah, I don't know, man. He just looks like scurbles. Is he still around?

Yeah, he's doing stuff, I'm sure. I don't see him because I don't let myself see disabled people. That's cool. I don't like that. That's pretty cool, man. I have a filter built into Chrome that blurs every disabled. Damn. Yeah.

Look at that extension. I don't want to laugh all the time. So I have to not, I think so I can't laugh all day long. That's good. I gotta say that I'll get sick That's not like Sweeney looks like a smear frame of Derek

That's crazy That's insane I just said Derek's faces I just remembered something Oh what happened Oh it doesn't matter I remember something during the podcast too But I'm not gonna I don't know I did

Oh my God It doesn't look it look at Jesus Christ I can't believe I forgot. Remember when I showed you that that fucking retard that was threatening to like rape that guy? Oh yeah. Guess what I forgot to do.

Yeah, you forgot to edit. You forgot to edit out the address. Of course I did. Why didn't you say anything if you fucking knew? What do you mean? Why didn't I say it? I said we should we should edit it out. Of course, but I'm telling you I forgot.

Now you said you forgot. I would appreciate. Hey, dummy, you forgot to do this. Oh shit. Let me cut it off. real fast. It's been out for way too long now. Can I be honest? I thought it's been a bit of yours to just not make

any of the edits that I've requested. No, some of them I think it's funny, but like... Every single time, I feel like I've said something. It's not every single time. It's been... It's a lot. Sometimes it is funny to me. I don't know. Stop bringing attention to it so they don't know. The big one was like the white versions of us.

It was like, where I was like, hey, can we put this in the episode? It's the one note I have. I said that in the episode. I was like, it's the one note I have. Just put the white, the white, the white Photoshop of us. And it just wasn't in there. So I just thought it was a bit you were doing of just like saying I was going to, you were going to edit stuff and then just not do it.

Is this dangerous? Because I do think it's funny. No. That it shows up that way because people comment about it and then it makes, you know, it's engagement and stuff. But there is, so I'll, also it's not doxing.

He did it himself. No, he did it. That's the, this is the only one where I've actually, that's the only time I ever mentioned on the show because I was like, oh, it just hit me right now that I'm like,

oh, I legit forgot to do that. Do you just remember that now? Just right now. Boom. I really thought it was a bit. No, I was like, oh, fuck. Boom.

Even though, like I said, that guy's a piece of shit and he did it himself. So I'm kind of like, I don't feel bad. But I was also like, God damn it. I'm a fan of Doxie. Huh? I'm kidding. That's crazy. That's crazy.

What did you remember? Nothing, really. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake M. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI,

coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?

There will come a point when it will mature. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals.

Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions.

Thanks. Oh, shit. Really, I don't know. I'm fucking scared. Do you really just not remember what you remember? I was remembering something, and then my memory started, remembering it, but then I forgot. He's running out of hard drive space.

Yeah, damn. He's filling up too quick. I was going to remember, but I forgot to remember. I forgot to remember. We got to replace it. Anyway, Sweeney looks like a smear frame of Derek Road. He says, what's up, slimers? Hey.

Since we made the groundbreaking discovery that Tylenol causes autism, I have a game for you. Oh, cool. You are given the power to give people autism by watching one video of your choosing. Not only will this be a guarantee, guaranteed effect, but the government will talk about it in the same way

that they did with Tylenol, except this will all be real. Which video you're choosing? Is it the horse? No, the horse is a solid one. That's a good one. Because that's a good one. You could get people

before they even realize what happened. Yeah, that's a good one. For me, it'd be the video of that guy following his friend and he gets hit by our best. Remember that video of the train video where like the guy followed? I showed it to Derek.

Derek. It's a thing where some guy's friend is tailing another dude. And he's tailing him all the town. Oh, in the car. And then he gets hit by a car, get hit by a train. Yeah, he's stressing him out. He's making him think he's being followed.

And he speeds and then he hits a train. Yeah, it's funny. Yeah, it's funny to you, yeah. It's funny because he's going to have to go to that funeral. And be like, holy shit, I was just playing a really stupid joke on my friend. Now, you don't admit that. Yeah, you didn't. That was not me.

I would, I would not admit it. I would not admit. You just kind of twisted a little bit. Like you guys were just, you know, it was just a freak accident. I wasn't there. I wasn't there at all. Well, there might, you know. I'd be like, oh, no.

See, you can't say that because then if footage gets out, you were, like, it's You're in a car. You're in a car that's not yours. It's all AI. Exactly. It's AI, whatever. It's all AI. Who cares?

That's actually good. He's really alive, actually. Stand up. That's why I feel good like. On your feet. Doing porn now is pretty great because now you can just be like, oh, it's AI. Yeah. That's what I do.

That's what you do? What if people have already discovered your port and you've already covered for it? Yeah, it's just like, that's AI, man. That's pretty great. I keep sending Dick Pix Lupita Nyango with my face and I'm like, it's A-I. Anyway, I would choose the spinning rat. The spinning rat's good. Man, you've got way too many people.

That video is an end. It doesn't matter. It's just watching the video, does it. Oh, okay. No, as soon as you lay your eyes on it? Yeah, as soon as you lay your eyes on it. It's like that thing we were talking about. Like, if you get become autistic zombie, remember?

Oh, yeah. You can't look at people. You got to like look away. And you can't think you've seen people because you thought people it worked too. I forgot what the context of that was. It's terrifying. There's a YouTube poop that

it has the rock and stone cold, you know, going back and forth. And there's one part that was, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Where instead of Stone Cold saying what, it just makes them say wow. And the crowd's saying, wow. and it's just going to wow wow wow wow it's so fucking funny dude it's so funny i think you shared that on

instagram i did i did i was like i was crying when i saw it i can't believe i've ever seen this wow there was something that something that lyle sent me a few days ago that i could not stop laughing at lilyle's got an eclectic taste he he sends me stuff like normally people have like a type of thing they send me you know like that's the like you with just the n-word over and over again. No, I've got it. I've got a little better. It's either just racism

where people getting hurt real bad from you. But Lyle sends me like stuff from all over like he's a well-read. He's a well-red garbage. He's a connoisseur of trash. He's a well-read garbage digger. He's a garbage man.

If the internet were to become like a community, like if we were like whisked away and they're like some fucking home stuck or like VR fucking version of whatever this world, that would be a fucking garbage man. Because he's always... He'd be a good one, too. He's waiting through trash.

He's always like, this is a nugget. I think you'd like this one. He sent me a video of three little people fighting one. Oh, he sent me that one. Oh, my God. I have seen that like... It keeps showing up on my feet right now. It's funny.

Is that the first hit to one of them? Nox him out gold. Dude, he fucking destroys that guy. Knots him out gold. The first one, too, is missing an arm, I'm pretty sure. Yes, he is. He is missing an arm. and he just fucking cold cox them

like they're not even complete it was kind of like almost a cheap shot even though it wasn't because like they were starting to engage but he just boom like didn't he like I'm like bro you're not even

like for entertainment purposes you're not even gonna try to make it interesting I would argue I would argue I would argue he loves that stuff I would argue every shot against a person with one arm

is a cheap It's so fucked up because it's like, because you're like, oh, you're not going to lock in all the way against these enemies. Right. You're going to. It's like using your alt on the beginning of the game, enemies at the end. Like you already finished the game. Like, I'm going to go, I'm going hard. Yeah.

I'm going hard. It's like, why do he do that? He was so cold about it. He just walked away. Like he didn't give a shit. Dude, and he's celebrated. He just celebrated like Erica. He's like Erica Kirk.

Yeah. Just like a weekler. It's like, everything's fine. Everything's great. I'm so happy. I'm going to do more podcasts. Yeah. That's just crazy, by the way.

It is... I think people were being a little bit weird about it just because, like, I do think it's a weird... I could see that psychologically fucking you up to the point where nothing you do make sense. But like, I don't know, man. I would probably like spend at least a month with my family. I would be, you know, for something.

Even optic purposes, dude. Yeah, like... Just like, even if you don't feel a certain way, it's like, hey, man, I know how this looks. So let's just chill. Right. And then, out enough time past,

then we'll do the Batista Celebrating. I'm just saying, like, I understand, I understand, I understand, I'm just saying,

I understand the, like, the fallacy of it where it's just like, yeah, I mean, like, I've, I've had days where it's just,

like, the worst day of my life, and then I've smiled, like, an hour later, you know what I mean? Like, I get it.

Like, there's gonna be, I've definitely laughed while crying, yes. Sure. Or just, like, even just the day of something like bad at,

like, like, it's, Like, spend some time, like, take a fucking break. It felt weird. You know, it's weird. We're in the world of politics, man. Everything you do is got to be calculated. Yeah, you got to be on the algorithm all the time.

Yeah. And so, like, these people, right now we're in an era where, say, first of all, post-truth, nothing matters anymore. And then also when it comes to, like, empathy and a way to behave with, like, morals and etiquette, doesn't matter. So even though, like, let's say 10, 15 years ago, this would have been so fucking bizarre. But now it's kind of part for the course So it doesn't really matter

I love it I love people taking arguments out of bad faith And standing by them And it's like what? Did you see that fucking graft That people are circulating right now on the right Where it's like oh look at the left wing violence Is this spiking like after a 30 year high or something

And in the graph it shows yellow for left And then gray for right Dude the gray is 90% of the graph It is littered with gray And then it's showing these little spikes of the left. And they're like, look, the left's going crazy. And I'm like, oh, my God. Because the left wing stuff is always like high profile stuff.

It's always like targeted like important people or like things or like, you know, big movements. They don't count like the fucking dude who's just like piss off at his wife who bombs an abortion clinic and nobody cares about it because it's it's. I just don't like. You know what I mean? Like that's that's kind of the reason. Dude, using that graph. Even like the graph itself. I know.

Yeah. It's like, what are you doing? I have to have a pizza, right? So using a pie chart. And then eight, no, let's just say seven slices of pepperoni, one of them's sausage. They know, they know it's just, look at all this fucking sausage. They know it's disingenuous. It's the same people like who are telling them to go to college.

College is stupid, but they're sending all their kids to college. It's like, they know it's bullshit. Like it's the same thing. It's like, oh, how many trans shooters have there been? What? Like 90% of them, 90 plus percent of them have been like straight white men. Too many. That doesn't mean that, like, what do you?

Okay, ban straight white men from having guns. You would never do that. Of course not. They would never do that. So it's just, it's all, they know. It's, it's phony baloney. Phony, erroneous malarkey. Phony baloney errone.

And you just start raining lightning. You need to start raining lightning. They just, like it's a serious rainstorm, but every drop of, every drop is a bolt of lightning. Where it's just, that place is. It's gone wherever that is gone. It's like the gears rain where it's like fucking glass, dude. Whatever place that would be would just be missing.

Like that would just be a missing place. It'd be like, oh, well. Yeah. I'm so glad that like we haven't, you know, this world hasn't been turned into. Like, what, we fuck things, the elements up so badly that all of a sudden we start forming like, because you know how like acid rains a thing. But then like it becomes like really bad. Like say like that like glass rain type shit.

I give it. I give us like probably one. When we're at the twilights of our lives, like in our 70s and 80s, the planet's going to be hilarious. Like, Earth is going to be hilariously bad. It's already so different, man. It's already so different. It's going to be hilariously bad. Like, we're going to blink our eyes. That's why, like, I think genuinely it's not worth having.

Like, having kids is abuse, actually. Like, straight up now. Technically. But it's like, it's, it makes more sense to adopt, really. Yeah. If anything. If you're going to, yes. Yeah, because people aren't going to stop and then so take care of those kids that are already going to be.

But to have children. is genuinely like... It's technically wrong. It's technically... I genuinely... I'm not... It's irresponsible. I don't know, man.

I think by 2030, this country's gonna have a different name. It could. It could. Yeah, I think authentically, like, I think... What is the over-under? What do you think... I give us three years.

Oh, Max. For, like, for the country to have a different name? No, no, for, like, how much time we have left. Oh. You know? Like, for America to break or, like, humanity. Well, that's... humanity's going to last way long because it's stubborn.

What percentage do you think that Trump will circumvent the 22nd and run again? I think he'll die before that. If he doesn't pass away before that, then he's going to try to run. He will try again. You think like a certainty that he'll try to run again. I think he won't win, but I think he'll try again. I don't think it's a certainty. I think it's a very high likelihood.

I think ultimately what's a percentage? I think what maybe is more likely is that like he's just old and probably he doesn't want to do it anymore and so he'll just relinquish it to a loyalist. Like something like J.D. Vance is like, oh, you get it now. You know what I mean? Like, I think that's more likely

than him trying to run again. I would love that. Because then Jayd would get fucking you'd get trounced. Maybe. Maybe. I don't know. He,

the only thing they can do is, is completely, well, you know, like, you know, like they tried to steal it the last time with fake electors. So this time not they're in power. I hate that it's the opposite

where it's like, oh, they stole it. They stole it why we, why the left wasn't in power. And then they couldn't keep it while they were in power. Yeah. And then why did they steal it this time? Exactly.

And then so what might happen this time is while the right wasn't in power, they actually did technically steal it with, there's a lot of evidence that people just aren't talking about it. It's crazy because they know it's not going to matter. And then now that they're in power, they might keep it like the way that obviously the left would have done if they stole it the first time. Like, you know what I'm saying? I don't think he's so upsetting.

I don't think he'd win, but I think he will try. He will definitely try again. Why don't you think he would win? The problem, I just don't think he. I think he's losing the favor of the people. So I think he's very much a lost favor of the people. If you like to believe that? If he's going to ignore the 22nd Amendment, why wouldn't he just do shit up to win?

That's true. That's why. That's the thing where to me, if he does, I'm telling you right now, if he survives and he runs again, I am leaving. Unless like, no, no, you have. Like, if he, if he runs again and he has any sort of steam and it's not. immediately eradicated, you should leave the country. Like actually, like being like it's to me, America's cook now, that's it, is going to be Trump land in like 20 months.

Trump led. Like it's, to me it's more of it's more of moral, it's more of a moral thing than anything. Like if he legitimately we were going to like we put in this thing, you know, obviously to stop because like, you know, the, the, you know, the, the, you know, the new deal and say basically basically social, socialist policies were happening. People were thriving and they wanted to stop that, obviously. And then the next few presidents started to, you know, do corporatist stuff and then Reagan ruined everything, blah, blah, blah, blah. But the thing is, you know, repealing Glass Eagle. A lot of stuff was happening. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks

with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to that. Pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind it. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today,

with the goal of being 70% more productive, Yeah. Wow. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks.

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save. It's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select.

Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. So, but to me it's just like out of principle, if it's like we're not going to follow this fucking rule, like we're going to make this, this exception for you so you can just be like a king and keep running and running and be like Putin or something. Like, I'm gone out of principle. Not that like, we still might be fine in California for years to come, but just out of principle. I'm like, this country is not the United States of America anymore. This is stupid. I don't

want to be a part of this project anymore. That's just basically how I'm doing. Sure. That's just, that's me, though. I'm talking about me. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not here because it's the U.S. I'm just here because I'm here. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of how I like whatever. I don't have. I don't have. have the loyalty to America that would keep me here. I just don't. I don't have, I don't have, I don't have, I have loyalty to my friends and family. I do. That's true. But that's the same time it's like if, I don't know. If everybody wants to go, I'll go. But like, I mean, I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna go. If you're, if you're, I'm not gonna go to fucking. I'm not gonna go to fucking. That's the thing too is like, fashion's on the rise. That's like, I don't know where you would really go. Not like this, man. Not. Like, dude, Australia is actually pretty sweet. Australia is pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. They're upside down and they're fucking weird. They got spiders that rape you. I'm not gonna go to Australia. Their toilet's flush wrong. Their toilet's. Their toilet's flush wrong. They're. They're. They're not. They're Like what the fuck is wrong? I think this is the thing right. I think I my brain is like this. At what point do you do you stay in a burning house and your family's in a burning house?

Or do you try to get them out? And if you try to get them out, they want to sit down. Do you continue to stay there? That's my big perspective. I love my family. I love them. I really, really, really do. But I knew even before I went up to York, I said, I have to leave my family to become a better version of myself.

So I had to leave, you know? At a certain point, you have to detach. Yeah, but you're worse. I think in many ways, in many ways I am worse. Yeah, yeah. But at least I got to this worse on my own, not dragging them with me. The reality is, dude, most people would rather stay and suffer. That's why, like, when you look at everybody, because obviously no one wanted, let's see Mexico, for example, no one wanted to leave Mexico when, like, NAFTA and Gat started destroying their fucking economy.

They, there was a percentage of them that were forced to because they're like, I need to make money and provide for my family. and then there was a lot of people that most people stayed there and they died off or they got fucked over by the cartel whatever that happened but they stayed there because they're like this is my home I'm not going anywhere I don't have that like especially not with the internet I'm like I can talk to anybody anywhere and I would hope that I can't draw to anymore like I can leave here and go to Midwest right now

like if everybody was like going to go to Midwest I'd be like I'm down to go let's go buy property the thing for me is just like I don't I don't think the problem Money, money go longer. I'm talking about for like abandoning because it sucks dick. Oh, no, no, no. But I'm saying like right now, like, let's say like, everybody's like, Cali's too expensive.

Let's move to the Midwest. I'm like, yeah. I'll go buy a bunch of house. I'll buy a fucking huge house. I think the issue. And then I'll leave the country to have a house there. I see what I'm saying. It's just, I don't know, man.

I don't see the problems getting better. Like, general. Because I think, I think the, the core problem that is happening here isn't, it might not be happening everywhere else. in the same way, but I just think it's like a matter of time because a lot of this is just unchecked algorithms and like just a lot of corporate corruption, which doesn't just exist here. And so for me, it's just kind of like, I don't really know where you would go that wouldn't eventually just become this. I think it would take so well, because like a lot of the other parts of the world have so much more

history in the United States. It's very young. So we haven't experienced a lot of like horrible shit that a lot of them that they've done and they've put in the safeguards to make sure. It's why they still have universal health care everywhere, even though their corporatists,

people in their countries would love to repeal it, right? And they're trying. They're trying, but it hasn't happened. Not yet. And what, like, it's like,

but the idea of being not yet is not a good idea. Like, it's like a slippery slope thing where it's like, oh, let me not do something because this might happen. It's like,

not, bro, fuck that, dude. I think the, like, if I were to leave the country, I would, I would prefer to just leave the planet, really.

Well, if you could. Everything that's wrong here is just going to spread. It's all AI shit that's just not going to stop. And I just, I don't know where you would, I don't know where you would go that's immune to what's happening now. I've just seen other countries. But what that validate you staying in a place that is objectively probably on the worst end of it? I mean, for me, it's more just a matter of convenience, really. But, but I'm like, I'm just like whatever.

At what point is the convenience get too much? Like, I think that's the thing is that like, I leaving, I've, like, I think, I think leaving America, propions of respect. of how much better things can be other places because America we're very, we're very global-centric. We are, we are, unfortunately we are the, like if if aliens came from space and they wanted to check out the world, they're not going anywhere

in Europe. They're coming here. They're not going here or China. They're coming here. I didn't know it's come here. I think you'd probably go to China. I think they'll go to China. There's way more people. Like, I feel like, if you were to look at like, just, there's more people there that must be most people. And it's like, like, And innovation. I think it would come here because of the fact that we are the, we are the best simple size of all groups of people on the planet.

I don't think that would matter to them. I think they would just say it. I think that would. I think that would be like, oh, where's the most kinds of. Because we're all the same to them. Because we would just be humans. It's like different colors. It's like looking like lizards and different colors.

Where did the most humans go? Here. What do you mean? Like, where do most humans go? Where do they? Most humans come here, you know, for a reason. Like immigration wise, I guess. You know, we are the.

I don't think they're going to be looking at that. I think they would if they want to get a better grasp of humanity as a whole. Well, that's what I would do. It's like, you're going to go to a surfing site. If I was an alien and I came here, I would blow it up immediately. I wouldn't even think. Well, I would observe how humans operate and be like, nah. Yeah, no, I'm just not.

These guys are moving mad. No. You know, I was talking to Jojo the other day and she made a, she said she was some author or something has like, I don't know, I don't know if it was a series or whatever it was making the arguments that agriculture, like, you know, destroyed, like how humans used to live. And then it got us to where we are. now and then it led to greed and all these horrible problems. And I was saying, well, I'm the agricultural, we wouldn't be here without agriculture. You know, like, I think natural disasters

might have made humans go extinct without agriculture because there wouldn't have been as many of us. And then she replied with, she's like, well, maybe that wasn't such a bad idea. And I was, and I thought about it was like, maybe we should have went extinct. I do think there's certain, there's certain aspects. Maybe we should have. We should be as abundant as we are. There's, There's certain aspects of technology, right? Where, like, I feel like we should not have gotten to this point yet. You know, I don't think we're evolved enough to have things like the internet. I think we cheated.

We clearly not. No, clearly. I think we cheated. I think there's a lot of things that were created that we stumbled into it. And it's by the grace of us being what we are, we were able to understand it better than we should have. And it's led to the problems we have. Clearly, internet, clearly weaponry. Clearly weaponry,

Clearly stuff like that Electric bills are gonna go crazy with this AI grid That they're trying to fucking work up I already I just got mine It's already crazy It's already I got 700 bucks

For my electric $700 I've never paid that much money In my life Yeah mine was just a little shy of 300 Yeah it's usually like 300 It's usually 300 on the high end Not for yeah

Yeah I don't For me In the way that I would use it It was no I didn't Mine was much more Especially I just had one of those single wall unit type things

and a portable one so I didn't use that much and I thought we did a good job so and they're like no you use this much and I was like bro something so I we're already feeling it because I would normally mine would be around the hundred is just a little bit over on the highest it would be closer to 200 and now immediately even when we're trying to be

yeah mine's usually around like like deep 200s early 300 be this room this room alone really is yeah so seven is that's fucking not That is, I'm like, I'm looking into this shit, brother. I was like... Did the wattage match?

What, did it actually make sense? I haven't looked into it. I just saw it. Probably too upsetting to look into it. I just saw it recently. I was like, I can't fucking... I don't even gonna look. But I did see that it was happening like all over.

It was happening in like Ohio and places like that. I saw the graphs. Did you see the graphs of, yeah. Yeah, okay. It's skyrocketing because we're, I think we're priming to subsidize all these fucking fucking AI grids. And it's like what, first of all, you pay for it, motherfucker. That's insane that I have to subsidize your fucking, just so I can ask,

G GPD, how big is a dick supposed to be? Fucking insane. What a waste. Insane. These, like all the stuff that you're saying, this is why I had an extremely accelerating rate in this country, a lot of people are going to leave the country, not even just go to the Midwest, because not only that agriculture is being fucked, especially because deals that we normally make around the world. Yeah, they're like, the soybean, they're like, fuck America. Like, we're not. going to deal with other people because you're untrustworthy.

Your tariffs are not set in stone. The soy bean farm shit is crazy. Dude, corporatists, like, you know, like Democrats maintain the status quo. That's what they want Democrats because they're corporatists and they allow them to thrive in just their regular commerce, which is still fucked up for us. But now you have robber barren shit, which is unstable. And most of them hate that. And they're like, we got to work with people who have stable systems.

And so we're going to get fucked so hard that I'm like, God damn it, man. because I let's be real. I don't want to leave. What the hell? I'm lazy too. Like I don't want to go. The worry that I have is like you can only go to a place that's I. There's,

there's two types of places really. There are places that are exploiting people and benefiting from it. And then there are places that are being exploited mega hard by the places that are exploiting their own people as well. It's like every country that is in the United States or like China or like, you know, the main places in Europe. maybe Japan, is just like resource gathering for those major bodies. It is.

It's why like you can't have like you can't realistically have like a like a first world democracy everywhere because like we operate at the behest of the fact that other places can be taken advantage of in that way. I agree. And so like I don't know where you would go that isn't just like a different version of this in some way, shape or form. It might be in a different stage or whatever. But like the AI shit is getting crazy and that's never going to slow down. Like that's just, that's a genie that's out of the bottle. You know what I mean? So like I don't know, man.

I just look at it as like there's a devil I know. I have a grasp of things here. Like I understand things. If I go somewhere else, I'm like, I'm going to have different problems and I'm not going to know what the fucking. They're going to be a lot. You sound like you're not a country bumpkin. I don't know why you're thinking like that. Well, I just mean like, I also just have a philosophy of just like when things are out of order.

I just, I don't like the idea of just like running away. I think you just kind of leave things to fester and then you just go somewhere else and then like the same things happen there. And eventually you're going to run out of places to go. And so like that's kind of how I feel about it. I'm just like whatever else out here. I'll figure it out of it. If people like us, we'll see. Look at this point, like I'm already kind of like, oh, this place is going to be cooked eventually, right?

the United States. It's, the robber barons, like, it's the, the gilded age is coming back. Whatever, what are you going to do about that? There are other plenty of places on the world. If people like us that are just on the level start moving to concentrated areas, kind of like saying, well, like New Zealand, why New Zealand's doing so well, why the Scandinavian country is doing so well. There's a lot of people that are in these countries and they're like, we understand these

systems. They work well. People are thriving on average. People have better jobs. They have better health care. They have fucking, they can go on vacation for fucking. months. All these things that they have

that are infinitely better than what's happening over here. Oh, for sure. And the thing is, I'm like, why would we not try to go over there and replicate that

and maintain that process? There's too many stupid people over here that never even got to experiencing that stuff. So there's nothing that we can do. Yeah. They're like,

oh, our shit's the best, you know, like under our system and they just don't know any better. But, um, he's like,

he's, he had a little robot glitch where he was about to turn murderous. Zz, oh wait, I'm not supposed to kill. I think a lot of how I feel is going to be shaped based on what happens in New York. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM.

I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes.

Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building, hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah.

My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway.

It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, auraida, silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for e-es. Easy drive up and go pick up or delivery.

Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Okay. With Mom Donnie. That's good. Like I think that's going to be my, that's going to be like my barometer for like how to feel going forward. He's another. He's another lunchpin moment.

As I say, there are moments where like things really matter. I think him winning and seeing like I'm giving him like six, seven months to see what happens. The things he says can be done immediately. Yeah. So I want to see what happens. A lot of things that is proposing has been done before. No, no, no, I know, no. That's the thing.

That's why. They don't have to, like, wait for them to take effect. It's like, oh, this can happen. You can do the freeze the moment you get in. I'm just, I'm backing you up by like some people or, you know, they're trying to say like, oh, he's, he's proposing all these radical ideas. And he's like, no, he's like, these are, these are. Other mayors have done some of this shit before. And it's like, I got to be honest, man.

Like, I don't even get like, the thing for that is like, I don't, I just want a different person. You know what I mean? I just want something different. than what we've seen there. And like that to me is like, I don't, what, I don't care if it's, even somebody like Thomas Massey, you know that guy?

Yeah. Like, whatever. Like, that to me is like, he's crazy for a number of reasons, but at least he's like, at least I get it. You know what I mean? Why are you running?

Why aren't I running? I'm not old enough. Also, I think I would hate it. I wonder, John Stewart's going to be the big thing. I wonder if he's going to do something. I think he's going to do it and I think he's going to do it. I think he's probably going to win

and he's going to be like, I don't want to do this. Of course she doesn't, but that's those are the people that we want. We want the people that don't want to be in power. The big problem, because they'll leave as soon as they're done. The big problem with America right now is that we have to, we have to like re-align.

Shut up, Clanker. With truth. Whoa, that's crazy. It's crazy. It's insane. It's insane. What about Cligger? Is that good?

Is that good? What about Clank Enward? Woo. He's, he's getting some of those classic traits back in him. You just want the two Gs in there, right? I do. It's so good, man. The two Gs does make it funny.

It makes everything better, man. Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry people that are offended by the two Gs. You don't have to apologize. It means nothing coming from an Android. I'm not an Android. Yeah, you're right. You're a robot.

I'm not a robot either. I'm a robot either. I'm a robot. Right? No, you're an Android. He's glitching. Cyborg? No, cyborg, Android.

No cyborg, Android's from Dragon Ball were Android. They were cyborgs, but I would be an Android if I was, yeah, okay, if I was a robotic person. Yeah, they were cyborgs, but they're called Androids. Whatever, man. You're an Android. Let's get one more question, and then we just get the fuck out of here.

You know, that phone, you know, has the... Droid. I remember the droid. The droid with the little, like, what was that minion? What was that? What was the, the little mascot? What was that thing? I think it was just a little robot.

It's a little chibi robot. A little droid. A little droid, I assume. Thought it was the, the, the, wait. Minions were before that, I think, actually. Technically, around the same time, I think. think. When was despicable me?

I think the first Despicable Me was like 07. It was it 07? No. Yeah. I'm going to say 09.

I'm going to say like 10 or like 11. I'm going to say 9. But I have no fucking idea. I can be wrong but. Oh. Oh my God. 2010.

Oh shit. It feels like way longer. Weirdly good at guessing. But they've been around forever though. So I guess around this literally because I think the first joy came out in 2009 or 2010. That sounds about right. Because I remember I had a droid in high school.

Yeah. But like towards the end? Because I got, Yeah, because the droid two came out in 2010 because I was got those choice between the Was it a droid a smartphone? Joy 2? Yes. It was like one of the earliest ones.

It was like the first like legit like you know how like iPhone was missing some shit where there'd be like the first phone came out and I think I remember there's something really important you couldn't do with it. Yeah. Like you couldn't like call. Like it was like a weird thing. I know what you're saying. I don't remember what it was.

I can't remember what it was. I can't remember what it was. I can't remember what it was. was that was missing. My first iPhone was the four. Four? Yeah. When was the four? I had the three. I think I might have had the... I think four was my first one. I got an iPhone in 2012 also. Yeah. And then 2012, 2013. Yeah, I went droid X, which that was an awesome phone at the time.

The processing, processor was pretty good. And then, yeah, then I went fucking iPhone three, which that shit sucked. I used to swap between, like, every, every, whenever a phone of mine would die, I would like switch things. If I had an iPhone, I would go to Samsung or like, you know, Android and if my Android died, I would go back to iPhone. Yeah. And then that stopped in Vegas. When my phone exploded

and I couldn't, I couldn't just sit there and like analyze the choices. Because I just give me a new fucking iPhone. I desperately need a new phone. Not desperate, but I do need a new phone. I'm running out of space on mine, which is a bummer. My phone is like maybe four years old. Okay. Mine is the 12 Pro Max?

Same. It, uh, I, I, I love this phone. Mine works fine, but I just probably get a new phone by now. Because mine, like, mine, it gets slower. It does it? Chugs. Yeah, mine chugs. Mine feels great. I've never ran out of storage, which is surprising to me. I want to storage once. But I also have full movies on my phone.

You're such a freak. I have full films on my phone. What movies do you have on your phone right now? Spiderverse, Braveheart, and glorious bastards. Why do you have Braveheart? Glorious Bastards. Do you even like Braveheart? I like what it stands for. I don't know, like, it's fine.

How weirdly is Braveheart? And he got, you know, tortured like William Wallace. That is crazy. It's very weird coincidence. Yeah. Did your captors, like, were they watching Braveheart and like, hey, let's do this? I have several. They saw it on his phone and they're like, let's do that to this guy.

I have several full-length pornographic movies on my phone. Stagnetti's revenge? I hope so. What else? I have. Dude, who watches full-length porn? Like, that doesn't even make sense to me. It's weird, dude.

Because they're so long. I've watched full-length porn before. And I'm like, this is. insane. I remember I tried it once. Because I was like this, there must be something to this that I'm not getting. I, like, literally turned on the porn. I watched it. I beat off and I was like, I guess I'll just keep watching it. And I watched all these things. I was like, this is a waste of my time.

Yeah. It was just fucking. And fucking when you're not horny, is this a really gross kind of concept? It immediately gross. It's funny how immediately you're just like, I don't want anything to do with this. Done. And they're like, ugh. It's a horrible. It is crazy that that's even a thing. Yeah. What, fucking?

No, but just, just the fact that, like, it's so immediately, like, I don't want to be here. Immediately.

Like, I'm so, I'm so immediately. It's a waste of time. Yeah, I guess. After you, after you procreate,

you're like, oh, I got to go, I don't know, continue to live. Yeah, I got a refractory period and then go

busing someone else, you know? Yes. Yeah, that exactly. I mean, uh, I was going to say,

the, uh, I was going to say, algorithm. I mean, biology same thing now it's the same

it's interchangeable that's so fucking crazy even animals after animals have sex like get the fuck away from me I like seeing like when animals like fucking

fall over after they bust or whatever you ever see that like fucking like a horse or like a cow so they're like mating and then like busing it like fucking

it falls it just had a good nut it's fucking hilarious then I go with a really big rock and I fly it's head the last one last question pumped up dicks by finger the people

nice pumped up dicks what was the band name of that I don't know something something the people right oh my god beautiful people no the beautiful foster the people

I didn't even Google it I clicked Google and I understood it and he says make my name a reality so he wants us to do pumped up pumped up dicks Oh, we could Pumped up Dix

Come better come Out come my gun I don't know My love gun I don't know Come that's out my penis gun I'm gay I don't know how I don't remember how the song goes

I'll even know that one part School shooter but gay I don't know I guess what that song is about right Yes The whole thing We had three mass shootings I think Two days ago

Right we had three Two Yeah we're seven people dead. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Veterans. And you know what's funny? Did you see that Steve Bannon was trashing Mormons? And then that happened where the guy shot up the church and slid it on fire? And I'm like, was that another coincidence or was that like another kill me type thing?

I think it is another. The thing is like I really earnestly, like I don't know if rhetoric matters anymore. I think it really is just algorithms and nihilism and hopelessness and all that Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI,

coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?

There will come a point when it will mature. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway.

It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, ORA-Ida, Silk, Capri-Sung, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go-pick-up or delivery. Restrictions apply.

See website for full terms and conditions. coalescing into the fact that like, yeah, I might as well just kill people. But like, I don't think, like, I don't think, like, I don't think, like, I don't think, like, Christians? When does that happen? I mean, they're fucking weird. Yeah, but like, it's like, they're weird, but then they're like just, you can't make sense of these people. You know what I mean?

Like, the guy, the guy who like wrote, wrote anti-ice. Like, like, all his friends were turns like, yeah, he had no real politics. He was just like a nihilist. He didn't really. He had nothing about him that made any, like, he had no. opinions about anything. He was just completely hopeless and sarcastic and just completely irony poisoned. And it's just like, yeah. I mean, that's what a lot of these people are. There's no reason. It's crazy right now. Nothing serious. Nothing serious. It's, it's, it's, it's embarrassing to be

authentically yourself. So don't do that. And so they caged themselves up and then they, they go insane. It sucks. This is our generation's fault for that. But I understand why. It's just that it's just, I don't think so at all. It's our generation's fault. I think 100%. How. Hey, you're the generation that pop up. Not giving a fuck about things, really. I think Gen X did that, actually. No, I think they followed our tool. Like, we, we made it popular.

It became their personalities. No, but the next generation doesn't even like millennials. They think it's cringed to not. Like, what do you mean? What are you saying? So you said, so Gen X is the previous prior to us, right? Yeah. Yeah, they're previous prior.

So Gen X. They're older than us. So what? Because my sister is about 30. She's 42. So she's a late, she's early stage millennial. He's early stage millennial. So yeah, I think so

Yeah right so I would say that that generation was a generation of I guess that generation of like not caring about anything like oh we don't give a fuck about anything everything everything stupid I think our generation where we were brought into that and I think the problem is that we were not raised by our parents Who raised by television So it depends on wherever you sat in that's poem where you like you can be a little kid that sat in front of power rangers and Spider-Man and you became like, oh, I believe in like doing the right thing prospectively. Or you could become people that sat in front of punked and a bunch of fuck shit that this made you not care.

I think it's a very boomer perspective. I really think that plays in the stuff. No, I think people don't care about things because they see that nothing's working. I think that's like, I think it's sound. I think it's completely reasonable. I think that you would look at the world around you and be like, yeah, what the fuck is the point? Like, that's a rational perspective. That's a rational perspective. But

also, it's not good for you. Also, the world has proven the opposite at the same time, though. How? The world prior to those generations. Clearly, people caring about things made things change. But the same time is like, I think both things can exist at the same time. I think is this simply where you, when you're forming yourself, because of the people in the era, it's fucked down.

because what forms them is just truly garbage. But when you're formative, I think that's what happens of who you become who you are. I think... And I think that there's a big gap in what was forming people. I think that's like the biggest thing.

I just think people would rather... I don't know. Like kids don't watch Sesame Street anymore. Yeah, because that's gay. Exactly. Thank you. Thank you. No, I think genuinely... You literally threw me to Alley right now.

Yeah, you're welcome. But no, I genuinely think it's just like if you don't have a world that's worth looking up at, you're just going to look down at your phone. I agree. The whole time. Like what is the like, you look at it like, oh, I'm never going to, oh, cool, I'm never going to own a house. Oh, cool. There's going to be like new trillionaires now.

Cool. Oh, wealth disparity is getting high. Oh, cool. Wages are stagnating. Oh, cool. You know, like at a certain point, the world is telling you you can't do anything. And it's, that's not an unreasonable position to have. It's not beneficial to you to have that position.

Because ultimately, like, the most successful people and anybody who does anything worth doing is operating on a sense of delusion in some way. Like, you have to delude yourself into thinking that, like, the evidence that nothing matters doesn't matter. Like, you just have to believe that like, I think that's a very, I think that's a very, I think that's just the nihilistic perspective. And I think nihilism is just stagnant. Because it's like at that moment, just kill yourself. You know, like, for real. Like, just die. That's not really what that means.

But it, but it does. No, because ultimately, like, look, you can't change what, like, what you really, like, think about that thing. Truly feeling, yeah, like, at the, it's- But you can change how you react to it. Yeah, absolutely. But at the same time, it's like, you, living, life is torturing. You don't know anything about life, your robot. Continue. From what I've gathered, life is torturing.

It's their torture and pain. I understand that. But at the same time, the fact that things don't matter mean they matter. Because it means they're only happening once in this instance. I'm not saying they don't matter. I'm just saying like, things effectively don't matter technically. Like when we go like on a galactic scale, you know,

there's a fucking universe out there and we're fucking, we're moments in the grand scale of it. So things don't really matter by that perspective. You have to understand like when you're in a position where you're, you have no tangible effect on the world around you. And then like you can't change anything by yourself. And then you see a dude Merk a CEO and everyone's talking about it. And then it's like,

obviously that's going to be like, that's going to be alluring to crazy people. And so that's, I don't know, man, we're seeing crazy numbers of mass shootings, like, even compared to, like, America. Because I feel like for a while it slowed down. Like, we were still getting them. It was just par for the course. It wasn't, like, sensational.

Right. Because it never slows down. There's always at least two in America every day. Well, just because of what, what constitutes a mass shooting. Yeah. And I'm all, I mean, it does, like, it's like a traffic jam kind of, you know. Like, it slows down. And then it speeds up.

Yeah. But I don't know, man. It's, it's, it's, it's. A church being set on fire. It's crazy. I honestly, I think, you know, and of course I could be wrong, but I really do think the, because a lot of people are talking about like, I don't think the rhetoric's really affecting, but I'm like the niche thing of killing people in a homeless encampment after broadcasting to hundreds of thousands of people that they, homeless people should be exterminated. And then also Steve Bannon, who has a large, you know, syndication talking. and questioning Mormons.

Sure, yeah. I mean, it could be. And then like, because like, on average, Christians just don't see Mormons or any other type of sect of Christianity as the enemy. And then all of a sudden something changed when the rhetoric has changed. These people are crazy. And then they're taking-the-bigest problem is that.

No, it's like, would that crazy-ass person attacked would have tried to kidnap Nancy Pelosi if they didn't make her public enemy number one? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's true. There's things going on that I'm like, I really do feel like these people should be held accountable. They're saying some crazy shit. I think it affects the subjects or the targets.

Yeah. But I think the things would happen. 100%. It's like the ideas that like the mine, if you don't sit up on a mine, it won't explode, but there's still a mine there. A mine? Like a, like a silent clown?

Yeah, I guess. They're going to be there. They're going to be building their walls, right? And it depends on where. the wall is going to be in front of people, you know? Yeah. So it's that kind of shit where the minds are there. People, the mental health problem is here.

It exists, you know. If they weren't, if they weren't killing people about, I think this course follows disaster, you know. Someone's going to get. Disaster follows. Isn't that annoying, by the way, that like, it's just like, it's not the guns. It's crazy. It's like the only thing that's different. It's like, like everywhere has polarized politics.

Everywhere has like violent media. Everywhere has like mental health issues. Doesn't happen anywhere else. It's insane. But like we, that's kind of thing, ultimately. it's like it's not just the gun it's everything like mixing it's like a cocktail of all no i agree but without a gun you're not going to do it the same way yeah without the gun they might still do crazy shit but they're going to affect far fewer people yeah exactly i don't know

whatever like the look every single time you can't just up and do it if you don't have a gun like a gun makes you up like i don't i just i don't it puts distance between you and what you're doing people don't see people don't see this i think and i tell this a lily and lily her brother argue me and i their their point is true to it but i think the idea is that they don't see it They don't see the catastrophe of things like that. Like people don't look at those videos where people in Gaza going through getting along up. They don't look at that. When you look at that, it becomes real to you, you know?

Sure. Even for me, someone that has seen way more death than I have, I should have ever seen as a person. And that's a trauma response, clearly. Me constantly looking at people fucking turn to shreds and then laughing at it. Clearly it's because I'm fucking nervous. Yeah, yeah. And I'm scared. But like when you see it in person, like, I'm not a fan of Kirk.

but seeing his death bothered me who cares? No no but I'm saying like Just those things in general Let me just say something No I know what you're saying I'm just saying moratorium on Kirk This whole situation has been a fucking pain in the neck

Oh yeah absolutely I could give a fuck But like this idea of stuff like that's fucking wild I'm so tired of it His wife doesn't care I don't care I'm like I'm not I'm not

You said pain in the neck I'm never that's crazy That's crazy Like for me I'm not gonna mourn this person I don't respect what they stood for at all I didn't respect them in life I'm not gonna respect them in death I just mean as a conversation topic.

I don't want to have him being, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, I'm just like, it's kind of, it's, it's hard to not bring him up sometimes. Sure, yeah, I get it. But it's the idea of that when things are just being a day. When things are real, you know, like, you're not like a car accident in real life is different from a car accident you see in a video, you know. No, it's not.

It is. It is. It's very, it's, it's, you don't know what you're talking about robot. It is. I just think, I think people are closer to a car. What would the fuck would you know? You are a car. That's like seeing one of your brothers get, gone down on the street.

Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, I don't... But there's stuff like that... I don't know, man. I think we need to do a really serious effort at no longer entertaining bullshit. I think we should just... We can't entertain it.

We can't entertain things. It would be nice. I think we should give people meth. Nah. I think that would make things way better, wouldn't it? I think we should flood meth into every community. Yeah. Hear me out.

Again? Hear me out. No, every now. Yeah, every. Not some. We won't single out any... And we'll just, it'll just be like a battle royale type mad-max situation. And then whoever wins, they inherit the earth.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Why not at this point? The methoids. The methades. The methades are the stuck. We could rename it. This could be Methlehem or something.

And then we'll have like a whole society built around. You know the place by where one of our friends is from is the place they call Methlehem actually. Really? Yeah. Where in New York? No. It's in Indiana.

What? Indiana. Yeah. They call Indiana. Do we know somebody from Indiana? Do we know a few? Well, we know one at least. Oh, we're going to have to get that person out.

No, they're fine. They're from the good part. They're from the middle. They're from where it's touching like a noise. Who? Who is it? Ben. Oh.

I'm from Indiana. I knew it. I knew I shouldn't trust him. He's such a non-bothersome figure. Yeah. Fucking Methlam is crazy. That's pretty funny. People in fucking,

never mind. I'm going to stop. I'm trying to work meth lamb into something for a long time. I love that. I love that word. It's a good combination. It's a good bit. Anyway.

Yeah, man. Sorry to young people that feel like it's not worth being alive. I mean, I get it. you have the right, you have the power to change that in every way. I'm just saying. Yeah. You really, a lot of, a lot of real changes built off of people who are far too confident.

Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind.

If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today with the goal of being, 70% more productive. Yeah. Wow. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology.

It's getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, ORA-Ida, Silk, Capri-Sung, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings.

Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. So just, just lie to yourself. Really. Honestly, like, I mean that.

Just like, just do it. I think, I think it's, pretend like it's not hopeless. Give it a shot. I think, I think there's, because if you pretend like it's not hopeless and you actually do shit and then like you have a higher chance. Like, the only way that people really fail is if they like fail and then they don't try again.

Yeah. You know? So, like, it benefits you to just kind of delude yourself into thinking that. I think there's a benefit to understanding that like, those situations, those certain situations are very terrible. and there's worth an interaction to make the world better. And interaction so make the world better. That's crazy.

That's crazy, you guys. Oh, no, he's double speaking. That was coming from him. Damn, I know. How's this happening? How's this happening? All right, we're going to read the names now. Patreon.com slash the snark tank.

Remember, you can go over there. Next episode won't be so policy-focused, I guess. But I like having these conferences. They're fun. Except for you, if you're a nihilistic freak. Yeah. If you're nice to speak,

either, you know, get busy living or get busy dying. Yeah. I think I'm vaguely nihilistic, but not like, you're nihilistic, but it's,

but it's, like, part for the course. Yeah, yeah. You know, you're a white male. It's just how,

it's how you all work. Yeah. I don't think, I don't think it's like, I don't think it's like, I think you can, I think you can, I think you can make change and do shit.

I just think it's like, there's overwhelming odds. And I think pretty drastic shit needs to happen. And I worry that like we're too pacified as a society to do anything. Like the fact that we stormed the capital over like an election we didn't like but we didn't. There's been like 5,000 good reasons to storm the capital. You know what I mean? Since then, yeah.

Since just yesterday. Like invading Portland with the military, like what the fuck do you mean? Yeah. There's no war in Portland. You're seeing good people are way too, you know, as I say, that's the, thing we're the ones that wouldn't do it. People that have the perspectives of us wouldn't do something. What is it? What is it to say?

Like, Tyranny is allowed to flourish when good men do nothing. Yeah. Like, it's literally just that. That's the thing that fuck me up, though, is that like, if you have a group of people that's, like, malicious and cruel and will kill. And then you have a group of people that, like, understands that that's wrong. The people who are going to kill are going to win.

Yeah. And that's kind of thing that's frustrating. It's like, I don't know how to solve that really. No, there's a way to solve it, but it takes a particular kind of mentality of a person to be like, who's, uh, we have to kill them. Who's, that's fucked. That's fucked. Unfortunately.

It's fucked, but it's not like the argument where people are the every single, almost everywhere I've seen people saying like, oh, um, it all forms of political violence is detestable. And I'm like, that's not even like, even intellectuals. I'm like, you don't fucking believe that. I know you don't. You can't really. Because historically, there would be a lot of groups that were not. fucking liberated, you know, without revolution. The idea that annoys the fuck out of me and I'm like, guys, stop behaving this way.

And look, like you say it's fucked up, which is true. Yeah, yeah. But like there are some people, like one of my friends who has no filter, like if he was, he would be a terrifying leader. But like he's one of these people I'd call like a benevolent dictator, you know, because he has this very cutthroat mentality. but he wants like these fucking charlatans, these people.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, specifically. He's inciserated. He wants them gone. He wants them gone. He wants them gone. I think there's, I think there's a, there's a way to go about it. The problem is that the person that, like,

it would take, it would take a kind of person. Again, the closest we have is like, is like a Kyle Kaliski, not being like in a, in a, obviously, uh, violence. He's not, has no violent rhetoric. He understands. Well, there is that video of him beating up that Vietnamese, man. I did see that

I mean, did you, listen, listen, did you, I went for the first time and looked at his stuff from when he very first started.

Oh, it's crazy, right? Why is he so tan now? He is a, because to me, like, it was like, okay, Kyle Kalinsky,

Kyle Kalinsky, that is a white man, but I look at him and I'm like, is he like Southern Italian? But like, he's definitely Jewish and something else.

So I was just, but dude, maybe, look at him from when he first started, he's paler than you. Yeah. And I'm like, his old tweets are a are a basket of joy. Like I have, I've never been on a page.

I want to put one of his tweets on a shirt and just wear it around. Like it's truly, he's clearly like, this is a guy from this guy's from the dark. I just want this guy's like clearly. He can hang clearly. Yeah, I was like, I get it. I want him to fucking like step into the, I want him to run for something though. I wanted to stop being a coward. He should run for.

He's doing good work, but I need, I need people like him to stop fucking being a coward. The problem is that people that They need it We need people like that But they would be so heavily Destroyed What do you mean? I'd be like heavily destroyed by media

Because the media We need to retake media That's the thing is it It just wouldn't work Because they tried For example They tried to do that to Trump It didn't work at all

It won't work It won't work It won't work Carl Kulinski will fucking Run circles around anybody Like he's so Fun That's not how my thinking works

You fucking asshole Like a fucking sonar Yeah, yeah, so yeah, I just say Everyone who has any vigor like in them Right? That's crazy. You guys, anyone who has any Bitch vigor in them

Bitch at Burning I'm sorry, I'm gonna say I've never heard someone get called a bitch nigger In my life. I've never heard someone get called that I've never heard someone say that No one's ever said that.

That's crazy. To call someone that is crazy. It's got a that is good. That'll perk you up. That'll wake somebody. Whoa. Would you call me? Would you call me? All right. All right. That's all I'm here. Get the fuck out of here. Let's read our $25.

I got to catch my the damn train. Let's read our $25. CJ. CJ, eat this train. I got it. Walter White handing CJ a whole train.

That's a that's a mission at GTA 5. It is. GTA 6. 3. San Andreas. 3.5. 3 times 2. 3.5. 3.5. Huh? 3.5. Wouldn't 3.5 be Vice City?

No, that's, oh, shit. I don't know what it would be then. I guess. It'd be 3.5. It'd be like Liberty City Stories or something. Yeah. Whatever. That's after. Wait, what about Chinatown Wars?

That doesn't count. There's no such thing as Chinatown. Or China. Yeah, there's no such thing as China. It is to be town. I'm officially declaring that China China is no longer exists

China is not real it's called Americana now It's really crazy This all started with the fucking Golf of fucking what you call The Gulf of America Everybody was like

Everybody was like this stupid but Oh oh you're still going I forgot about that Yeah me too Yeah it says it on maps It really bothers me It does say that Really bothers me a lot

It's crazy It has no effect on me Yeah, well A million They're gonna read our $25 and up patrons now And if you got this far into the episode I want you to comment

Um Uh Sweeney Is Dead Parentheses Lamau Uh oh

His language settings are fucked Oh man Like Like Bebebe bo beep Bebe That stupid mold growing out of him, ruining his chips. We built it with wet, damp computer chips.

They got mold on. God damn it, man. Anyway, yeah. Patreon.com session snarkanger, remember you can go over there and write in. Give me a write in your name at the end credits and make me read them. So count me down. You're going to be real good at that this time. Three, two, one.

Look how effective that was. That was excellent. It's such a stupid guy God's favorite femboy Malik Barry Wait Let me make sure this is

These are new names Okay Malik Barry Anal Footcake Cobeba What do you call a lost wolf A werewolf Oh

Oh We'll be back That's the kind of jokes you're going to hear at Riyadh You know what I mean It's just like Knock knock who's there me me

that's crazy that's insane boom you're crazy that's insane they have a vaugh simitre making jokes like that

still is wild to me dude Cleveland real racism is wild to me because I don't hear I don't hear jokes like that anymore where it's like, what? Oh,

Middle Eastner person walks up to you. Oh, yeah, it's like, what the fuck? I haven't heard shit like that in so fucking long. Yeah,

that's why that's what makes it funny. Yeah. And it's also, it's stupid. You don't hang around people who are authentically crazy.

Yeah. Well, Lily is an exception. Yeah. I think she's pretty not raised. I think she's ignorant about something. Pretty sure she founded a chapter

of the KKK. That's insane. Yeah. And her fucking little, her fucking short-ass gown. She just never takes it off so they don't know. It's like, it's clearly, it's dragging. It's dragging on the ground. You sound a little funny.

It's really funny. Where are you from, Grand Dragon? Glendell. I'm from Glendell. I'm from Glendale. I'm from California. I don't know. Doesn't sound that Mexican.

I am lily. I'm lily. She doesn't really have an accent like that. I'm lily. have an accent, but like nothing crazy. I am Chihuahua. I have English and French ancestry. That's crazy.

Well, I guess you do have the robe on. I can't deny a robe. I'll join your club, brother. Yeah, he says, yeah, his mouth opens too far. Yeah. Burning cross in it. Yeah. That's kind of badass.

That's an emo. It's kind of badass, dude. It's terrifying. I'm like, whoa, this group seems pretty chill. Team jersey, no draws. Kingstron 9,000 gets damaged and becomes a good co-host. That's crazy. The fucking profile picture is the scum.

It's the scum bag. That picture really is crazy. I don't look like myself. It doesn't look like you, but also you look so narrow. You look like a flounder almost. You know how like they're like, you do. That is such an unflattering picture of myself. I look like, it looks like.

I forgot about stupid it looks. I love that. It's my face. It looks so stupid. What a stupid looking fucker. I'm just thinking of it through the lens of someone who doesn't know you. Right. Because that straight up doesn't look like you.

It looks like it looks like your cheeks look swollen. You look at you've been bitten by many beans. By the way, not stung. Bitten by bees and constricted by a bow constrictor. There's another While bees are biting you There's another image of me Where like my mouth is open

And it looks into my teeth What a death Looks circular Like it looks like All up the teeth of my mouth Are circular And it's like what I feel like I've seen

Mr. Crabs do that Where he's like His mouth like turns Like completely I'm picturing that Niggward Niggward That

I still remember That fucking Niggward That video is so fucking Nigward That video is so fucking fucking crazy. We can't. We can't expand on it. The presidential spider. Ew. A picture of me? What the hell is that? I don't know. I don't even know what that's from.

It's just... It's just me looking disgusted. The presidential spider. A secret sci-op to make Chris Ray Gay Gay. Nice. Nice. Straight Vegeta uses Gaylet gun. She opened my dickhole, then spit in it. Getting jude out of $25 by two big... It's sexy big black israelites and a light skin twink.

Excellent. Delta Gamma. I literally fed this toddler last week. Why is it still crying? Did you see that video of like, I don't know if it's an Israel guy or like what, but it's some politician somewhere and he's like speaking into a microphone and then for like a brief moment it sounds like a demon?

No. Because he's got like a throat thing, but it sounds straight up like a. Oh, he's like hiding his true power level. It sounds like Satan. And it's wild. That's like the worst possible place for that to happen. squimp his bugs Clamiel Esquire the third

Why does Cash Patel keep using Sharpies on bullets? It does feel that way It's weird that this just kind of started out of nowhere It's like oh this new trend of writing on bullets now Anti-ice is so bullshit Anti-Eyes I love how obviously like so

Uncooled, so square You know what I mean? Someone who's not with it just Oh anti-ice That'll fool them Oh god He'd probably just meant it like...

Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbeta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?

Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point.

How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor,

ORAIDA, Silk, Capri-Sung, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. he gets too much ice in his drinks What if it was that?

He's like, he orders drinks without ice. Yeah, I do. Yeah, you get more drink. You get more drink and like, I don't know, man. Like, I never have a drink last long enough to the point where it's like warm enough to need ice. You know what I mean? Like, what the fuck are you?

It's just watering down my drink and I'm getting less of it. It is what, yeah, it is, it doesn't make sense, but I'm a fool. If I'm on the beach or something, like maybe, because like, you know, you're in the sun. I love crushed ice though because it turns it almost into like a slushy. Yeah, that's not bad.

Crush ice. If the, if it's not bad. If I were to have ice, it would be crushed ice. Obes Strauger. I love the idea of that. I love the idea of that. Is this a fat bones? That's great.

Chris saying the more to name more and more quiet. Day without Sween number eight. No, he's back now. Well, I mean, he's still gone technically. Because he's a robot. Which Android number is he? He is. We actually ran through about 1,500 models.

before we got to this one because they kept just not understanding. I'm not messing off with you to see if I'm an android. I was going to cut into myself. I'm like, oh, no, there's just a lot of blood. It's a lot of blood. And you got to keep, no, keep digging. Keep digging. We coated your metal with white that looks like bone.

Yeah, yeah. Fuck you. Bone. You won't notice a difference. Yeah. Until you go to sleep and realize you can't. Anyway, I'm going to kill the president with a mortar. I hope aliens are real.

That way I have more things to fuck. I guess, man. That's a lot of species. You probably haven't fucked it, sir. True. Unless he's like ran through all of them. Like, do you treat with respect to that, sir? Don't aim this person.

They're not aimed this guy. Okay, don't do that. Animatronic Sweeney, just saying the inward nonstop. Two rats in a trench coat. Sam Porter bitches. So dehydrated. My spooge is like spackle. Oh, man.

Justifer gay bundo malda not mald and sad. Oh, joins the IDF. Pretty cool. Berserker Blackman backshotting Broly Reckless Rhino, the Sloker 2, Isodurpee. What do you guys want to be when you grow up? Dead. Gay. Those were both my answers.

Dead. I want to be dead. I want to be. I want to die so bad, but I'm too pussy to kill myself, man. You don't want to be when I grow up? A child. Yeah, that would be good. Yeah.

That's crazy. Because that eventually will happen. You know, you just become dementia, dementia. And then, you know. People that end up not like that as they get old is crazy. People would just, like, keep their faculties. I would hate to have my faculties that late. Like, I don't want, are you serious?

I'm going to have to keep thinking about, like, reality in this way. Like, I definitely want to be stupider. Like, if I'm, like, 90. Dementia sounds so scary, man. I'm just going to go to Mars. It's only scary for everybody you love and everybody around you. For personal experiencing, it's really sad. I feel like, well.

My grandma can't speak English anymore, dude. What do you mean? She speaks Spanish only now. Her Spanish is all like damaged up too. It's crazy. When are you just reminded you? I can't talk to her in English anymore. Just reminder, dude.

Yeah, that easy. You can teach her. And teacher again, yes. Her body's, her brain's already letting go of memories. And I'm just going to try to force a language on her. Put dual lingo in front of her. Yeah. And then she'll understand.

Grandma. Like, oh, I understand now. Yeah, I don't know. I don't want to go that far, but I don't, I want to be fun. King bot. You have rescued my English. Thank you. Use fleshlight salesmen. My Chris Hansen Tamagachi needs to hit your vape. Charlie Kirk, more like Shirley in the dirt. Old man spaghetti nuts. Domo Nation. Negro Prime is online initiating directive.

One night, one nine, eight four, destroy all mega fascists. Who is that? Negro Prime? Is that what he said? It is what he said. That's a crazy name. expect to hear it with a question. This is a new transformer? I guess so, yeah. I'm done.

Negro bot, come here. Negro Bats. Sam Whitwiki, me's a Negro bot. Sam, Nicky. Negro Prime. Sam Whitwiki. There's only two primes left.

Me and the number. Negrow prime. Get inside my door and let me crush you. Let me crush. The greatest fear of anything involving I really, I really have a deep urge to crush Sam with Wickey within me. I notice you are sexually attracted to me, Sam with Wickey.

I couldn't help but notice that you're still completely intact. Would you like to change that? Come inside me and be dismembered right now. You know how I learned that there was more than meat, the eye to people when I crushed them many, many times. You have a cool

Halloween skeleton inside you. Did you know that? Lincoln Park is there actually like terrified. Playing with their shoulders up. Start it again, Lincoln Park.

Do it again. Do it again. Before I crush you all. Transpose one key up. That's more in my register. What I'm dumb. That's the stuff. It's so stupid.

Oh my God. Derek Knopf at his in it. It's the hashtag free him. I'm grabbing Sammy Wickian's rubbing the skin his face off his head. Silence. Silence. So be quiet, Sam Be quiet

It's not that bad I'm not done exploring you Sam I'm not done I'll put it back when I'm done Bumble Get him to a hospital Bumby's an optimist

What the fuck are you doing you Optimus Why are you doing that Yeah, it's like Why are you doing that To Sam Shut the fuck up you I don't want to say that

I just go Robot N-word. I was going to go. Well, he's yellow, so I was going to say, oh, yeah. All right, all right, all right. Round that Asian, washing his rice to throw it away and drink the starch water. That's insane. That's barbaric.

Asmal. Asmond gold looks like a racist World War II character, caricature of a jabbingy's person. I see that sometimes, actually. I feel like he looks like a scary story to tell him the dark. He does. He looks like a creeper, like a creepy, creepest. Yeah, I was about to say that. A creepest.

A creepest. Yeah, I support DEI. Dikes, the Eagles, and Italians. Yeah. That made me, that winded me. I've knocked down a dyker, too. Okay. You're a blue collar worker.

We're not allowed to say that, because we're not Dick Van. Yeah. You're a blue collar worker. I think it's the only reason. That's the only reason that that's not a more serious slur is because it's like someone's name. Yeah, Richard. You know, if someone was, if someone's name was like Dick Van N-Word, it would be like great. That'd be funny as fuck because I would never stop saying that.

That'd be pretty lit. I would change my name right now is King Yidora. I'd make that my name on Twitter right now. Dick Van. That would be something. A silly little Billy snorting Coke and pilly. You're a blue collar worker. That's cute.

I work at a ball crushing factory where they crush my. balls. Queen of Fap Hazard. Ooh. Blonde, a blue-eyed German man campaigning to make Pokemon 2D again. But for real, though, why do the pussy taste like house keys?

That is an issue. Was that episode one? I wish he said stuff like that. I would watch. It's such a way. Oh my God. I'm sorry. You probably knew this, but I didn't know this. I always assume that the Big Bang theory was

Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO Arvin Krishna, and I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business?

My one advice to that. Pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example, if anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind.

If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive, so we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings. including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things.

To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight,

Frito Lay, and Signatures Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Audience pumped. It was artificial laughter. No, it's real. I didn't know that.

It's a studio audience. I didn't know that because I, the jokes aren't, like, they're not, I really didn't know that. Laugh tracks as tracks are are not common Yeah, it's it got more common later, but like that was still in the era of like when they were doing Those are all real. Like they usually what they do is they take the laugh track from the audience reacting in real time and then they like they yeah, they just like boost it or like you know. Right. It's still artificial.

I know what you mean. It's artificial, but it's real. It's crazy, right? Isn't it? It shocked me because it may. You know how I knew that that was the case for that show is like somebody came in and. and people cheered for a long time. You know how, like, people will cheer and that's how you know, it's like, oh, that's like real.

Okay, gotcha. This is a show where they really do that. On a show where they don't do that, where they don't have the cheering, that's fake. Right. Okay, gotcha. Imagine laughing at that. You're just, that's like mob mentality. I wanted to go.

You're just like having a good time. You're at a show. You're more into it. There's probably a sign that says laugh please. Well, dude, there was actually a good show back in the day with the universe of state. Universal Studios There was a good show To doing that

Like you know Had your applause and boo And it like fed into the show It was really fun And so I I would have known that I would have tried to go Because I want to do

I would have loved to experience that It would be cool Like it must be cool Well not that cool But like it would be like An interesting little thing To have like a really distinct laugh And then be able to be like

That's me Oh yeah That's me That's me in that Seinfeld episode Clearly No Well Jaylin also Like there's just people

in general where I'm just like it must be like it kind of interesting thing to like know that you attended the taping of a show of like a show that turned out to be like a world famous like like the contest episode of Seinfeld or something right and you're like in the audience and you can hear yourself like that's kind of it's kind of wild my friend can hear himself uh uh you can hear him uh conno o'brien's talking about like the nicknames i think like tom hank start calling him cocoa or something like that and at one point like he didn't want to be called that and my friend just yells out Coco and he's like no no and like everyone laughs I'm like that's crazy like you you're captured you actually captured twice he actually there was like a toilet that was above they're like oh some

people are living in the studio and here's the toilet like unfortunately it's gonna fall on somebody it was my fucking friend again yeah and they captured him he's like what the fuck and I was like bro what is it's crazy do they like you what's happening you can see me in the background when they killed Saddam hussein that's sick man I was a part of the laugh track for a flavor of love you were is that a bit no I was Her lap track. You, you, that shit didn't have a lap track, my name.

That's what, like, it's definitely did. Also, you were like 10. Yeah, okay. I was 11 and yeah, I was there.

All right. Now, it's also not a sitcom. It's a reality TV show. It's a reality TV show. I was part of Oppenheimer. If promises were,

if promises were fat, my daughter would be crackers. Hey, oh. That's such a, that's like what the rent guy and Spider-Man 2 says, right?

He says something like that. You see. If, if promise. were rent, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then he snorts. Give me six.

Percules. Ow. Ow. Ooh. Ooh, my neck. I'm gonna go drain the main vein. Yeah, go ahead. Percules.

Percules. Perculese. Oh, fuck. I'm probably gonna miss the train. We'll, we'll speed. Thugzilla versus the IDF super soldier Melvin bomb. GTA 4 swing set glitch. Funnling Swines cut into the American Heritage Foundation.

Bumstroker's Dicula. Saw Derek sleeping on the train, so I touched his blind. Blank. Banichus, Greek god of herb. The Sween animatronic looks like shit. Big meaty stinks. Canola Joe reloaded. I have no Dick and I must cream. Gay actor, Rosebud Delicious. Questionable autism. Sorry I can't. I had a burrito.

Trained her wrong as a joke. She ain't even know it. Heath, back from the fields. What did I miss? Gids, actual Sween, quote, episode 277. What if instead of spirited away was called, take the N words away. It doesn't work that well.

That's too much of a stretch. Yeah, I can still do it, though. I can do it. I can get it. You should all dress up as an Oreo cookie. I have my Halloween costume already set up. Hard hat Pee-P. Had that boy leak in Charlie Squirt.

Predators are Jamaican. Predators are Jamaican coded. Not the sex kind. Obama, when he met Michelle, be like, let me be queer. Kingston is becoming genuinely irritating to listen to Please Firearm now. Don't worry, it's an animatronic. Are you watching people

like explode? What is that? My headphones are my headphones so long? Yeah. That was scary. Like, I couldn't understand like why it was not coming from the phone but it was clearly coming from the phone. That fucked with me. Yeah, there's a video of people

I think of people having like that bolt on the bridge and then breaking the bridge. Dude, that video, the guy was skating down the stairs and breaking both of his ankles. It's so funny. Shot up Uncle Charlie. Kingston's dad was clearly taking Tylenol. Shirtman movie Extra Ammo Sweene. You look like you could use a fucking lamp.

Hispanic at the disco, cardboard pie, watching Chernobyl for a healthy dose of depression in the evening. Department of Hoare. All right, but like, imagine Candice Owens talking to you like that while stroking them. Listen, relax. Whoa. Let's all relax. I hated women and viewing them as objects. What? I hated women and viewed them as objects

until I played Silent Hole F and realized I was wrong. It's crazy that. Imagine a Silent Hole game convinces you to not be misogynistic, if anything, to the opposite for me. It's like, oh, this is a prop for horror, clearly. Slur-maxing, one day, one day sober. I'm not going to congratulate you on that.

If you don't, if you don't eat pussy from the back, you're not hungry enough. Big boss convincing the troops deployed to Portland to join his gay little polychule, we'll call them Diamond Dogs. Join, join my polycule. I want to fuck many people and not think about it. The repercussions. Goon devil. Man without come. Now is the time for me to ride on his meat. Pull his dick out my mouth. Wipe is just for my eyes. I will be queer. That's fucking a hate breed. I will be heard. Okay. Yeah, I don't know it. Look up fast in us and behold. Trust me, hominid. Most stable U.E. 5 game is Sonic Racing Cross Worlds. That's sad. Notices, bulges. Owu, what's this? The dead worms in your ass. Smitchie the kids. Something, something, something gay, something, something slur. Yeah.

Nice. Adam ruins everything versus Sheldon Cooper. I have relapsed and now I'm on the back, back on the teat. Hamster and a sock is now plus five after it's extensive use. Izzy, I know you're listening to this. I want my fucking dog back, you vapid,

Sal. Ush. Whoa. Communicating through podcast credits is crazy. Since Sweeney is the mascot of the group, when are we getting a Sweeney plushy in the shop? We're not. I'm going to come in your ODST hat, Chris.

Craig the Canadian. Freaky. and there's just a bunch of emojis pointing to a tiki head. It's your boy, Shawnee D. Comethawkshot Gaming, trademark. At Grok, is this true? My profile picture has been young Chris for six months, and he still hasn't noticed.

Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Baby Chris. Yeah, there's a Spider-Man poster right behind me. Yeah, okay, I don't give a shit. I don't know what that picture is from. So that's kind of weird. Should be really scared.

Yeah. Whatever. It looks like it's like from my fucking... It's one you've never released. before. Yeah, it looks like it's from my sink in my parents' house. That's kind of weird. Sweeney looks like a smear frame of Derek. Kim Jong and the Keith Corps. East Palestine, Ohio being glassed by Israel because it's named after Palestine. For these, I used to live there. It sucks. Yeah. Palestine. I bet. Fun fact, the rapture did

happen. Nobody went. No, I just say that. Fumbled the 6.3 transgirl. Should I kill myself? She likely thinks Charlie Kirk is a moderate because her husband is a crypto-fascist by comparison. Christo fascist is hilarious. Maybe Charlie Kirk was just hyper autistic and his special interest was getting shot in the carotid artery. Sam Twini be like, I respect people's sexuality. Obi won't you blow me.

Charlie Kirk lost a gun debate. Kremlin de Kravlin. Yep. Watch a long when. Oh yeah. We just got to set aside of time. Oh, right. It's going to be the war of the worlds.

We do it this Thursday. I want, okay. Chris is in the top five Wiggers of all time. Jason Horhees. Yeah, we'll do it after Sacred or something. Yeah, I'm done. How did we say we're going to do it on remember? I mean, I had it, and it's not that, it's not hard.

It's pretty easy to set up. Anything? Does it mean anything? Just bring your headphones. That's the only thing. And like, presumably the cable to go along with him. Jason Horhees ain't no rest for the homo. Kingston won't close.

his ass. He's got a dick to suck and butts to fuck. Whachley, 583. Trans Tucker Carlson, more like Tucker Carlson away. Oh, Tucker Cucksin away? I don't know. Pupini Brothers presents Crash Course Cybertron History, Rise of Decepticons, Don Cuckerson pumped up dicks by the finger the people.

Mace in the Metalhead, Sangadio, active at karaoke, Pee-B, choose one of every ten people you see as a hallucination of ten people. One of every ten people has their soul, sounds amplified. I was really close to self-forever sleep last week. If I ever do it, I should just zero my bank account to do this Patreon. Yes.

Please. Don't do that. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. That's the second thing. But yeah, don't do that. You piece of shit. Don't. Hey, listen. Lesbian cunt evil edition. Charlie Merck's, the JK and JK Raleigh is short for gigantic cunt. John Strickland, Merck's 1889, the Stone Sober October. Wish me luck, boys. You've already failed, I bet, by this point. The first church of Keith David presents Sween, the darkest, Cracker. I finally saw the terrain Bayblade video. Oh, man. That's a classic. LeBron would have survived that next shot. Pre-Ros, Blake 8-96. I got locked out doing

great-out checks to the Dix's Dixotein. All I got was locked-tri as previously mentioned. Marvin's straight be like sexual harming. That's a good one. That's a good one. Retarded with an ass with a thing over the E. That dude who bragged about crypto-scaming that cancer patient out of his treatment money is 100 times worse than Charlie Kirk. Das goopi I I'm your little F slur guy Warm sticky goo When you come in my all in my eyes

I know that is Trama the clown please help Can't seem to get any bookings Can you give me any advice Laugh more As a clown There it is Young Collins sewing his ass

Shut and chugging two leaders Of laxatives Jesus Christ King Midas But it's smegma Nice Nicky Turning pill USA

If this is The last page Wise over an hour left Gay Arnold with football shaped hips That's so stupid Too blurry, too bigfoot, you fucking idiot You bloody Sorry Miss Jackson Badley Brave

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