The Snark Tank - #368: Spider-Man Pulls His Punches

Episode Date: October 27, 2025

https://www.patreon.com/TheSnarkTank

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See website for full terms and conditions. All right. Is that Wolverine? Yeah, how's Wolverine going to have a health bar, dude? He fucking regenerates. I can't believe like these people have never played. Shoot someone in a gut. Shoot them right in the gut.

There are so many X-Men games. Like, I'm like, just who gives a fuck? You know what his death could mean? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I don't want to get into it. I don't even care if he has a help bar and he can die. Like, whatever.

It's a video game. Exactly. That's all like... But you can regenerate, Derek. You don't get it. He can regenerate. Why would he be able to regenerate, Derek? Shut your stupid pussy-ass mouth up.

Have you never played video games before? No. How could you have a Superman video game? Ass mouth. How could you have Superman? Who's gonna... Three body parts in a row. Does everybody have fucked...

Spider-Man beats up regular henchman. How was that possible? Like, that shouldn't even be a thing. Like, he's hitting them hard, too. Dude, in the game, in the game, like, I love. I love the, I love the justification where, like, oh, he's pulling his punches or whatever, because in the game, there are certain finishing moves in that game where I'm like, you, you can't pull that punch. Not in that way.

You can't put the kick to like the back of the neck that he does when he's like finishing off like some random 25 year old henchman. He's so debilitatingly devastating. The one that gets me that I think is so fucking dangerous, but it's supposed to be funny is when him in my. Miles, Miles Webb's the feet in Peter webs the top of the head and that guy falls. If a person that weighs at least like a hundred and twenty five pounds head hits the floor like that. If they're still here, they're different. They are different from the person. If they wake up, if they wake up, they look at their, they open their wallet.

They look at their ID. They say, who is this? They say, who is that? Right. That's not me. That's not me. That ain't, that is not me. I don't know that he doesn't look like me at all anymore. It looks like me, but I can't see inside. Can you think of a moment of playing a video game? Because I feel like it's so different from movies. Yes. Where like, well, I hate you so much. Yeah, I can't actually. Yeah, you can't think of a moment, right? You guys can't. No, but like when you were, you had like a major suspension of disbelief. in a video game while you were playing where you're like, oh, that's bullshit. Like, do you remember, I can't think of a moment where I truly felt like that because, I don't know, especially a lot of times video game mechanics and bugs and whatever,

it's just all kind of wacky anyway, and it's just like fun and I think I remember when I was a kid in Spider-Man, the, the, the movie-based game for the original Xbox, and I remember I would fall down to the street and the street would kill you. and I remember being like, that's kind of insane. Like, I remember even as a kid, I remember being like, why? Because there's no explanation for it

in like the movie-based game. Like in the old, like, actually I'm wearing the shirt, the old Neversoft, Spider-Man games. Nice. There's like, they explain it away by like,

oh, there's a toxic gas like covering the street. That was like the whole thing that the villains were doing. It's like, okay, fine, you can't touch the street. They at least explained it. In the movie-based game, he's just inexplicably just like, no.

That's that's Spider-Man 1, right? Yeah, the Toby McGuire, Spider-Man 1. And I remember being a kid being like, why? But like, why? Why? Like, there's no, they don't even make an effort. I see. It's a try.

So that is funny to me. It was like, I think I would mention Arkham City when, what is it? Catwoman is dangling above a vat of acid. Yeah. And once you stop To Face, you can just walk into the acid. And I just love that because Batman is supposed to be the shit. And then he just, whoop,

and like, I think I spent a good like 10 minutes. I remember actually this is just doing different scenarios. I wish I still had my Snapchat because I would just do different scenarios like just saying stuff like Batman saying heroic things or, or whatever. Yeah, like just saying like Oracle. And then just walking into it. I just kept doing.

It was like comedy skits. And I love doing you like that. Or no Russian and model warfare two, same thing. I'd be doing like different skis. I have a, this is like technically embarrassing, but I was like, I'm sad that I,

I'm sad that I didn't save it now. But like I remember like there was a, there was a time I think in like 2022 where I was like so sick. I think it caught like a stomach flu or something. I was throwing up like a lot. Like it was like reliable. And there's this. I don't know if you guys remember.

There was like a specific filter where like it would take your face and put it on some random it was like Spider-Man's back and he was like swinging and he was like saving Oh, I remember that, yeah. And so I like, I didn't while I was really sick and I threw up while I was recording it as if like Spider-Man was making me really dizzy. And I thought it was really funny, but at the same time, I was like, I'm not really this. I don't really want.

I don't really want footage of me vomiting on the internet really. Why though? I don't know. It should at least be fake vomit. Yeah. It should at least be a skit. Why? Why does the vomit's authenticity matter?

I don't know. There was something about it. It felt like weirdly private. Like it is the same thing where like I wouldn't want my come flying on screen. Like my, you know what I mean? Like I don't know. That's kind of cool.

I've always wanted to like get away with that. You're right. I always wanted to get away with that without seem like a pervert. How is it? It's not possible. Welcome to Star Tank podcast on that note. How do I come without getting in trouble? Welcome to Star Tank podcast.

Patreon.com slash a Snark Tank. Remember, you can go over there. Early ad-free access, early, early episodes, exclusive episodes, all that jazz. I'm back from New York. We're a little bit late. Primarily because my PC just stopped. Like, back then, like, my PC back home has been like, I guess, not the family PC, but people have been fucking with it. So there's a bunch of shit on there that I don't remember.

And my equipment's kind of old. I ordered new parts, but it was just like, I think they're getting there today. So I'll fix it next time I'm home. but I basically couldn't do it. I'm back now. It's crazy. Your cousins were taking bats to it. Yeah.

They were just like fucking, hey, look, it's Spider-Man. Well, dude, Roblox was on it, and so I was like, hmm. Oh. Don't love that. So they were probably talking to a bunch of, like, a fucking adults, like, trying to get at them and shit. There's probably a Chinese, like, a damon in my computer right now, like, just, like, kind of, like, fucking around. But anyway, like, it's, I got old equipment. there anyway like I got to I got to up up it but I was in New York for like the past week

seeing the city seeing family it was an interesting time to be in New York City because right now the mayoral debate is happening and it's just all everybody's talking about the energy in the city is hysterical by the way it's awesome I've never felt that like I always feel really happy when I'm in New York City but like this past week was just like extra because everybody it felt like people People would just talk shit about Andrew Cuomo unprovoked. I was in my taxi cab. I was in like, because I take a cab from Grand Central to the airport because it's just, it's quicker than like transferring trains.

And my cab driver on the way to the airport on the way back was like, do you see, do you see this mayor, mayor race? And I'm like, yeah, I'm, I'm paying attention. This, he's, well, he's, he called Cuomo the Epsilon, but. I'm not going to repeat it But I was Which one? What do you mean? There's a few F slurs

No there is There's only one All right You guys are not weird literature What are the other ones? I don't I'd rather not say Fugazi is that like a Like an Italian one

I think Fugazi does mean the same thing as it though Does it? I think it does I thought it meant like fake or something I thought it meant like You're like dainty like that That's what I thought I don't say it

It's fucking Fugazi I somehow didn't, I somehow didn't grow up around enough Italians to know what Fugazi means for sure. I'm becoming an expert. I'm on season two of the Sopranos. Dude, the Sopranos is becoming like a weird, like, it is the worst way to learn about Italians. Also, granted, that is terrible Italian literature. There's a scene where they specifically even throw out statistics. They're at the dinner table with the, uh, what's her, uh, the, uh, therapist.

Yeah. And like, she's talking to her like homies and stuff. and like somebody is specifically addressing like these fucking stereotypes they're ruining the image of Italians like this is only this person I was like this is hilarious I love how they make it effort to be like hey this is not us all I think not all of us please I keep seeing Sopranos like Sopranos is entering that stage that like that Breaking Bad has been in for a while where like there's just all these edits yeah all these like memes about it I'm seeing so many more of them now for whatever reason I don't know that is it is it is I think a sane show HBO Max I think it really uh it really helped it um because even the same thing with um because I think Dexter's on HBO now right I think so it's on it's on something else it's on something it's on something that's more accessible than whatever it was on before like maybe it was like showtime or whatever the fuck or some shit but yeah okay yeah but like yeah it is on a stream platform and all the same deal because when Dexter was hot there was a bunch of those old school style memes with a lot of

texted shit. Yeah. Vine was around and they're like that guy, uh, Dokes surprise motherfucker. So people would be doing all these different things. But now it's coming back and I'm so happy because I always always love

that theme song. Always love, um, Sergeant Dokes and just seeing like, it keeps getting me. Like I'm watching something. And then all of a sudden, here comes the edits of the music. Yeah. Something. It's,

it's, it's good stuff. What bothers me so much is that Dokes is just right but he's like not right for the right reasons. Like I feel like he's right he is in every aspect.

But he could have, but Dexter could have just been a weird guy. He could have been. He could have just been a weird guy. But he wasn't. Wait, is it like I've never seen, wait hold on on. I've never seen Dexter, I know nothing about it. I know that it's about a serial killer who kills bad people or whatever that

whatever. But is it like a, is it like a Mr. Crocker type situation? Yeah. Yeah, but not by the zany. Because Mr. Crocker's always like, this kid has fucking fairies. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata.

We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better, or AI coming up with quantum or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines.

Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum?

By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight,

Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. You know, this kid has fairies, dude. And nobody believes him. Everybody thinks he's crazy. Jokes is, jokes, he's not, I would, because it's obviously, it's, I, that's, it's a decent

analogy, like, as far as like, but. It's not exact. It's more subtle, like, he's, like, kind of like, I'm onto you, you know, and you'll call him a fucking weirdo in his face and, you know, like, but he's like, he knows something's off because he has those intuitive, he has those instincts. and then he, you know, he figures it out. But I won't say anything other than that because... Sure, yeah.

I'm sure people are still watching. Great fucking, I love season two. Season two is amazing. Season two is amazing. God, I love that. Season one and season two are really good. Then it kind of gets stupid after that. It's one of those peaks and valleys, peaks and valleys. But these Sopranos memes are great.

Like, for some reason, like, I'm always seeing, like, they're always gamers for some reason. They're always like, like, Tony Soprano being like, Christopher, I'm trying, I don't know how to beat. Do you know how to beat? Lord Ishan or whatever and it's like What is happening? That this is the thing. Dude, I love, I love how shit his son is. I love how shit his son is and I love he's shit and then he's like, and then

fucking Tony tries to act like he wasn't also shit as a kid too. And it's like you're just, you, Tony Supranos is an interesting character because like, I think like people like, if people like him and it's so obvious, you. shouldn't. It's such like an obvious reason you shouldn't. But everyone is drawn to him. It's in the therapist. It's like, why are people drawn to this guy? Well, it's actually, it's the same as, um, a Walter, Walter, uh, white in the same way that he's a villain. Uh, but you just, they set it up in the way where his family just sucks and just getting in the way. He's like, he is the protagonist. So you're just, you kind of assume, this is not really true, but like a lot

people are like, oh, the protagonist is the good guy. It's like, it's not necessarily true. The protagonist is like the main character is the focus. And so like, a lot of people mistake that, I think, for like, oh, he's a good guy. Yeah. And you go into it knowing that these people are going to be doing bad shit. So it wasn't like it's necessarily like, oh, he'll turn, like you know what's going to happen. But you like that.

That's why you watch it. Yeah. You want to see Walt blow up a guy. You know, like you don't, you know what? Like if Walt was just sitting there being like, well, okay, I guess. Kill my, kill my kids, I guess. Like, who just, like, be such a lame show. Dad, stop.

Dad, stop. Stop. He's going to kill me, dad. Dabbing me. But, dude, the reason this is all coming up, the mayoral debates. Hold still. In New York City, there's a mayoral debate right now. There's a mayoral race between, no, not Chris Cuomo.

What the, Andrew Cuomo. I couldn't even remember. They can't even tell the two of them before. No, they both suck. They both. They're both so. Mario Cuomo sucked also. He's probably the worst, but, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, he made two more of him. It's like, that's way worse. Real shit. But so Andrew Cuomo, who like was like a disgraced governor, he resigned after like all sorts of crazy shit. Zoran Mamdani and this this other, this Republican candidate. I don't know if you've seen any of this guy, Derek, because he might be like more of like a local. The way I hear about it is like he's more of a local guy. I've only seen him on the stage.

But he's in, he's in the debates. Curtis Sliwa. he's the Republican guy. He's part of the Hells Angels back in like the 80s or whatever. He has these crazy stories about being shot like six times in the back of a cab and like all this crazy stuff. It is watching these debates has been so thoroughly entertaining. It's insane. He was the one that there's that viral clip of him talking about Mom Donnie glazing him.

Yeah. Don't be glazing me now, Zoron. I like him. Like he's wrong for the same. he's got like a bunch of bad policies or whatever but like I he's one of those guys who's like I you're you're an actual guy yeah like I believe you yeah you know when you when you when you've say you've lived here and you care but like Andrew every debate is just both of them basically dogpiling Andrew it's like that it's like that that that that uh that

meme of Vegeta pulling out the phone when he's on the ground like they jumped me It is They Every It seems like they're both against him And I'm pretty sure that Republican is in the race Purely to split votes away from Andrew Cuomo Because he hates him so much

Like that's my that's my worst Because he knows he knows he doesn't have any He knows he's not going to win Fucking Republican gonna Come on But dude even he was like But even he was saying like I've been offered like millions to drop out of the race

I'm not dropping out You billionaires can kiss my ass All this stuff which I don't doubt at all Like I totally I totally believe that happened. Of course. But the clips of that guy are mega fun. Like he's like Andrew Cuomo, slapping fannies and killing grannies.

All this crazy. Andrew Cuomo, who's a fucking homo. Oh, I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. But you know he's gay, right? You know he's gay. We all know he's gay, which is bad for him. Not for everybody else.

It sort of finds a fine thing. I don't care if you quiz. He's a fake queer. I don't care if you're gay, but I care if he's gay. If he's gay, I hate him. If he's straight, I hate him. I don't care. I hate him, man.

It's so spiteful, but dude, like, the energy in New York City is awesome. Because it's just like, everybody's just like, oh, he's definitely going to win. I think it's pretty, it's an open shut case, unless... Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman. and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business?

My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind it. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it.

We say you can leverage what we did. We are happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times the points.

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Something happens. Something really, I feel like you'd have to kill one of these people. Yeah. Everybody's kind of holding their breath. Hope that doesn't happen. Yeah. Because I feel like it's not even that unlikely.

Unfortunately. Here's the thing. If it happens, do you think there's going to be a proper response? Like there should be a spark. they're damn I think maybe in New York City I don't know about other places

Yeah I agree with that I think it would be a massive deal Of Zoroamom I'd be very upset if New York City Didn't do something Yeah I would fly back I'm I'm debating going back November like second Just to spend like a week back home

Because I'm like there for the You'd be there for the results Because I feel like it might be Like that might be the time to be like Yeah it might be worth like going back and like just partying in New York for a week and then coming back to California Should they encase him in like resin to make sure

Just cover him No I think but I think he'll actually like genuinely need like protection Like get the Poltmobile You should have his own Poltmobile That'd be badass Yeah The Zoron Zamboni Yeah the Zoron

That sounds fire! God The Zoron Zamboni is sick as fuck So the most recent debate they were on, they had like a cross-examination section or whatever. And I can't remember what everybody else's was. But Zoran came up and he was like, hey, Andrew Cuomo, you like, you have like 13 women who credibly accused you of sexual harassment. You like sued for their gynecological records.

You slapped them with like legal suits so they can't talk. One of those people is in the audience right now. What do you, uh, what do you say to these, uh, what do you say to these people? I just remember being like, that is fucked. That is like, it's so dirty. I think Trump did that, by the way. I think that's like a tight. Yeah.

Yeah. Hillary, uh, Bill Clinton was in the audience and then they brought some of his accusers. And I thought that was fucking. That was pretty brilliant. It's good stuff. It's smart. It's smart. And he's just, dude, I don't know, man.

He's just been cooking. of these guys. And Andrew Cuomo is like a freak. He doesn't know how to handle any of this. He's clearly just not. Nobody likes him. He's so unwanted. It's so clear that even Trump was asked about it. And it was like, well, it looks like New York's going to have a communist mayor. It's because it's not looking good for Cuomo. I think he's completely done. And it's like, even he's just like, he's cooked. You can see. But he ran, so he ran this AI ad. I don't know if you guys. Did you see this? No, yeah, I know it. Oh.

Let me... You should watch it. You should really watch it. It is... Why? He's like a terrorist in it or something. So he's basically talking about like how Oh, crime's gonna go crazy under Zoran or it.

And it starts with him by eating rice with his hands running up to the camera. It's all AI. He's... I can't believe they ran with it. He's eating rice with his... And then like it shows like a black guy in like a convenience store with a mask robbing. Like a convenience store. It shows like an Arab guy burning an American flag

at a pro-Palestine protest. It shows just all this crazy stuff. Let me see if I could find it so you can see it. You don't even need to hear what they're saying. You can watch it on mute. We see if like in a Cuomo, Cuomo AI ad. And then he deleted it immediately because he was like, oh, fuck.

But this is racist. I forgot. But what's hilarious about it's like, dude, you're in New York City. There's so many. The fact that you need an AI, I, there are so many, like, film videographer, like, actors, like artists around you at any given moment, and you can't get any of them because none of them would make this. So you had to get a computer to do it. It's all very funny to me.

Because, like, I don't know who he's like, what is even, he's like, he's like pretending to be in the race, basically. It just feels ridiculous. But here it is. It's in, it's in the chat. encourage everybody to look this up because it is so crazy. Mamdani said something interesting where he was like, they're investing more money in Cuomo and gang than I would want them to be taxed. Yeah, he said that on,

he said that on flagrant. He did say that. He said that on flagrant. He was talking to Andrew Shultz. And he was like, dude, he's paying, he's paying more to run ads against me than I wouldn't even tax him. He's like, I don't even want that much. And I've never, I think I knew this inherently, but like, I've never heard somebody say it so succinctly or it's just like, that is crazy.

Insane. That's, that's a great, great thing to focus on. He's a really good communicator, man. What is this? That rice actually made me hungry, like when he first was eating the rice. Like, it was like a nice big bowl. I can use some rice right now. Dude, I want a chicken over rice.

That right. That rice thing is, that rice thing is interesting. That whole, like, the response. to the rice thing. I could have... I didn't grow up eating rice with my hands. I feel like it's a little strange, but like, I mean, it's not like... I mean, it's this culturally different.

It's not... It's not even the way... I saw all the arguments that these racist pieces of shit were saying. Like, oh, it's so unclean. It's this, is that. You know, they're being like, oh, it's like it's primitive. Like, you don't have utensils. And I was just thinking, and the first thing I thought of in my brain, like, I literally

wanted to like F slur to this one person because I was so mad that I'm like all right bitch I better never catch you eating ribs with your fucking hands you dumb piece of shit yeah ribs you fucking dumb motherfucker I did see I did see people like try to post like Trump eating pizzas and I guess it's like ribs are um a better um what that's a dumb that is messy that you eat with your hands yeah buttered popcorn there's fucking butter all over your goddamn fingers you got um Cheetos you get all this fucking bullshit on your hands like stuff that is gonna stain your hands where it would be better technically to use a spoon or some shit. Now, fuck that. Like, I can wash my hands afterwards. Who gives us shit? Oh, yeah. Like, oh my God, this ad is so crazy.

There's like a scene with like a like a like a like a like a like a black or like kind of like like Afro Latino pimp. Yeah. In like in like a crazy coat and he's like opens the door to a van. There's just a bunch of like vulnerable like white women just like clearly being trafficked. It is. It is as racist as possibly. Yeah. It is next level stuff. But that's where, I mean, he went. My favorite, my favorite part, I'm sorry. My favorite part of this is at like a minute and 30 seconds, a minute and 38 seconds in

where like for some reason, an old woman is driving drunk and that's going to be everywhere under Zeran. Yeah. Immediately afterwards, there's an AI Arab who says, Globalize the Intifada, but it's AI. So they don't know how to say intifada. So it's like it's mispronounced. It is crazy. That's sick.

Oh, man. It's so good. It's the intifada. It's so bad. It's insane. He's just, he's so detached. He was talking about rent. How much were you paying for rent?

I pay $7,200 for rent. This guy has an apartment that should be for poor people. And I'm like, poor people. He has a, he pays $2,300. for rent. That's for that's a poor person. That's stealing rent away from a poor person. It's like, motherfucker. Poor person. That is crazy. Seven thousand dollars of rent a month. We have to. We got we got a 2400 a month over here. You know, and I damn would not be doing that if we didn't have two incomes. You feel me? Like a hundred person. Like no, no thanks, man. Like that is. Yeah.

I'd rather not. I would rather me, you know what I'm like, but whatever. We're doing it. We're in California. I think about that more and more every day I just I stumbled upon There's a YouTuber named Rob Words And he's like I don't know if he's like a linguist or whatever the fuck And he was friends with this other YouTuber that just recommended He was a guy that lived in somewhere in the East Coast And then 13 years ago he moved to the UK

And he just makes content just doing comparisons And I watched like maybe three of his videos and it's just it's just making me so upset that where I'm like I don't want to watch this guy's videos anymore because it's just always like he's not trying to rub it in he's just being like oh yeah these are the differences and I'm like yeah the UK post America right? Yeah just like geez and I'm like I know they have their

they have their own litany of problems over there too I don't know what's going on he says with the beast like and this is the thing he's like I want you to know that this doesn't mean this is a fucking utopia it's just comparatively the problems are infinitely smaller and not as crazy compared to the because it's like the biggest things. Like hey, you're going to have a lot of vacations. You're going to have paternity leave.

You know, you're going to have fucking walkable cities. You're going to have this and this like and options. If you don't want a walkable city, you can live in a rural area and have a fucking car too. Like he's just like doing all this stuff. And I'm like, just just counting all the dumb shit that they say, especially when people say, oh, their universal health care, you have to wait for forever. And I was like, pussy. you have to wait for forever here.

What are you talking about? Yeah. What do you still wait? Like a lot of it's funny that a lot of the problems that people talk about other systems or other ways of doing things are problems that exist now. Like there's like a, what is it? There was like that that cartoon. I can't remember who the fuck. It was like some conservative dude.

He drew. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO. Arvin Krishna, and I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example, if anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind it. If anybody,

is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. Wow. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We are happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology. It's getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things.

To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select. available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only.

Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. It was like a 9-11 comic. You remember King said? Did you see this? It was like the building and it had like NYC written on it because every political cartoon needs to be labeled like fucking NASCAR. It's crazy.

But NYC on a building. And then it was a red plane with Zoron on. And it's a socialism. And it's like flying into the towers. And it's like that happened under what we have. That actually did happen under not socialism. Which, by the way, it's not even really socialism what's happening, by the way, in New York City. If you know anything about like any of these things, it's like, it's so funny.

It's literally populace. It's literally populist stuff. That's it. It's for people. It's the dumbest. It's actually how things used to be to some extent. Yeah. In the time where people are talking about reverting to.

It's like, oh. we got to go back to like, you know, this era when things were great. It's like, oh, you mean when like the tax rate was like 90 something percent on corporate entities? That? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I agree. Like, it's crazy.

And it's not even that extreme, by the way, what's going to happen in New York City. But we'll see. I think he's going to win. I hope he wins. Just look, I don't know much about, I haven't looked done like a deep dive in it. I'm sure like he's a politician. So like, it's always like, you know, arm's length at a. distance kind of deal.

But I like what I'm seeing and it's looking like he's going to win. It would be crazy if he turned heel like Who's the stroke victim's name? I forgot his name.

Oh, Federman? Fetterman. Where that guy just, you know, he won by being impagressive. Yeah. And then he had a stroke. He did have a stroke,

but it made me think actually because he's bald. had a stroke and I was like did Joe Rogan have a stroke too you think oh because because he's you know what I think happened to Joe Rogan I think generally Joe Rogan got can't try to get on they tried to cancel them for the N-word N-word freaking doc and I think that literally pushed him away a lot running to the right but he apologized you think he would have just like I think he apologized at the time to keep the ground stable you know what's weird and then they were like you know what Joe I like seeing the N-word too come over They got him

It's so weird Because he didn't even have to fucking apologize That's the weird thing That's what made it crazy for me Because it was all in context Literally they were all in context He wasn't like There was only one thing

There was a joke being made about I forgot where he was And they went to like Into the inner city To see a movie And then he said something like It was like Planet of the Ypes And I was like that was fucking racist

That was like one of his first episodes Now I'm like okay That's a racist joke Sure one apologize for that but like everything else I was like okay whatever dude yeah I don't apologize racism ever

never never apologize for race I triple I triple down actually I just I just say more racist stuff actually you should you should uh you should uh be a guest on Nick Flint as a show he'd love uh it would be a really it'd be really interesting because we might make each other laugh and I think that'll make me really sad that's crazy you would start off being like man fuck this guy

and at the end you're like man this guy's fucking funny, dude. I hate how funny. Like, he is just how funny this dude is. God damn. It's just like, can you stop being? Because I don't even, I have, I don't know if he,

I don't know if his racism is, this may be crazy to say, I don't know if his racism is purely authentic. Because sometimes he says things where I'm like, you, races usually aren't that calculated. They usually, I think it, it was performative for a, period of time until it's like it's like fucking all of them he's kind of an inconsistent person

though it's it's i know what you're saying yeah sometimes i'll hear him say shit it's like i think that exact thing and then he'll launch off into some crazy like you and then and then he'll be like jd vance married a jeet and i'm like did you see first of all i go ahead straight up never heard that word before in my life now they're not until i heard him say it you're not on internet enough unfortunately. Well, no, I specifically try not to be. Unfortunately. That's a new one, but it's funny that I completely understand it,

you know, like, you're like, oh, yeah, I know what that's fucked up. Oh. And you're looking at it from his perspective, yeah, I guess. I saw an article. Fuck, I wish I knew the outlet so I could say that she was thinking about divorcing J.D. Vance.

And I just remembered that right now, because I wanted to look into it. And then I just, I just forgot about it because I was like, why now? Like, why not fucking forever ago? No, right out the power. Write out that power, bro. Yeah. Get that strength a little bit.

Make it better for Indian people in general and then dip on him. On them, bro. What's the fucking goblin been up to Ramashwami? I haven't heard from him. He's gone. He's just, I don't know if they like banished him. He's probably just taken loads to the back of the head over and over again. I genuinely do not know what happened to that guy.

Vivek Ramoswamy just sort of like he got kicked out. He got kicked out after the whole the visa thing. When he was getting out. Well, I mean of the administration, not like deported. I mean like that would be so great. That's right. He was in Doge for a while. Not Doge.

What is it called? He was co-running Doge. He was co-running Doge, but he said something about how like American workers are lazy. It was like the H-1B. It was something. Like it was something about that. I can't remember the audience kid and like fact check us. I'm pretty sure that's what it was.

And then everybody was like, what the fuck? You're calling Americans lazy? I'm like, well, I mean, obviously, what are you talking about? Yeah. I thought we were proud of that shit. On some level, I feel like, yeah. Like, I don't know, I'm not reading that book. Not reading a gay book.

Dude, there's a, I think it's a YouTuber named like Simmon Toastkin or something. Yeah, yeah. And Jojo sent me one of his community. post because he was talking about his um testosterone levels and she was like oh it's crazy look what this guy went through something that you went through and it was paragraphs and i just told i'm not reading all that shit what the fuck and i was like hey if you read it if you read it just gave me the gist of it like i saw his numbers i saw that part and i'm like okay so he went from here to here and uh he's like 40 so he thinks that he was naturally dipping hard but i don't know he seemed like he was way lower than

you should be so i'm like uh whatever anyway he's juicing, he's fucking good now. And I'm like, this is the standard now. People need to get their fucking hormone levels checked and be healthy. I should do that. If you juice, if you juice and you stop, do you just get fucked automatically? So there's a couple of things you can do. I actually need to make a follow-up video because I made a video on my main channel because I want to help people with that.

And one thing that I did, I should have done. If you don't want to be fucked when you stop, one thing you should take, it's called HCG. HCG will keep your your test test your test your test your So mine were completely shut down because I replaced Once you you replace testosterone There's no need to make anymore right Because if you're getting it from an outside source So then you have to wake your system back up when you go off of it

Now I'm taking something to help me But something that will help you way better and keep your shit online and keep you fertile is HCG So you have to remember that. And that's the one thing I didn't take. I thought about taking it when I was in Vegas. I bought it. And then I was just like, fuck it, whatever. I don't need it right now.

And I didn't do it this time around. And that fucked me because when I just got my blood test a week ago or something, the spectrum is anywhere from like 300 to 1,000 nanograms per decilator. Dude, I was at 150. 150 nanograms. It has been a struggle. Let me tell you, for these past couple weeks or so or something to even do anything. It's a miracle.

that I've been like doing anything because it's 150s like grandpa levels where you're like fucked you know what I'm saying? But anyway, it is, there's many different ways to take it now. You can do a subcue injecting your fat. There are pills that if you just want to,

it's called inculomaphene, if you don't want to inject, this will trick your system into just producing more testosterone naturally. But yeah, everyone would get their levels checked just to make sure they're good. Women going through menopause, your fucking estrogen is shot.

you need to get your hormones regulated and you won't have those hot flashes and go crazy and shit. It's crazy. Like people just don't know about this because the doctors don't fucking get their hormones checked. See, my testicles are green. How can you see them, sir? What do you mean?

I look down at them. So your sack is green? Yeah, the entire thing. No, they're so green that they shine through. That it's shining through. An albinous alien like glow. Who is the, here's the thing. Here's the thing. If I take the skin and I put a flashlight through it, even if the light is yellow, the, the, that it shines through green. Gotcha. Yeah. Hey, Kingston, who's the villain in Superman? Who's the villain in Superman? Matalo. Matalo.

It's green. My balls are green. Oh, my God. That's which, okay, that legitimately, you look down to go take, you're going to take a shower, you get naked. Your balls are fucking. bright green. What do you do? Waited out. I'm going to dip them in ice. You waded out? The masculine urge to wait things out. I get two weeks. I'm a two week guy. I'm usually like if it's still here in two weeks, I'll check it out. Right. Whenever I have ball pain, I wait for two weeks until I go to the doctor and it's like, hey, how my ball's looking.

And every time they're like, first of all, they grew back. Second of all, you got to get them removed again. I eat donuts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and my vision gets spotty. I'm going to give it a couple more years. We'll give it a couple of it. That's crazy. Just donuts. And it's like the caked ones, too. It's just all sugar, just scarfing them down.

It is all crispy cream glaze. Do you think men would be like this if we had universal health care? No. Right. I have explicitly made this conscious choice because I don't want to spend egregious. amounts of money. Oh yeah. Universal healthcare would have culturally changed to humanity so much

if it came out like when it should have been a thing. Right. Yeah. Like in the 20s culturally right now, it would be so different. But then it'd probably be shit people that's still alive too. They might not be as shit. They would be better because they would have benefited. They would be better. Oh, speaking

of on the service of health, I just wanted to bring up a tweet real fast where we move on. Okay. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell. host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake M. Bata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM Research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,

whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.

Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem.

To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions.

Rob Snyder is one of the dumb people alive. Holy fuck. Dude, I replied, dude. I was like just all I said, I was just, just, I was just, mass. And then I just, I left. And then you left. But I got to read the tweet for anybody that hasn't yet read it. Please.

FYI. This is Rob Schneider, the real Rob Schneider from every Adam Sandler film. I did check to make sure it was actually him because I was like, this is too stupid. That's what I thought too. I was like, this must be satire. Yeah. So, FYI, there were no children's hospital hospitals when I was a kid because kids weren't sick. Amazing.

What do you even say to that? Of course there's a community. No, like, of course there are children hospitals in the fucking 19th century. Like, what do you even talk? Of course there is children in hospitals. Kids are some of the sickest humans because their immune system sucks. Infant mortality was fucking skyrocketed back in the day. Until recently, like, I can't.

It is so layered in stupidity. It's like, holy shit. This is, this is, this reminds me of like peanut allergy stuff where it's like, look, I don't know if peanut allergies have always been around or if they were like a product of chemistry. I don't know. I don't know. But all I'm saying is it like the idea that, oh, they just came up out of nowhere as opposed to you look back in the records and you see people actively talk about historical like like instances in history like the 1800s where somebody just dies out of nowhere or like a baby just dies and they're like, oh, must have been the devil. And and you know what I mean? Like clearly. just it's so fucking funny first of all children's hospitals have been around for like I think 150 years I'm 19th century ship I'm certain they date back to the 1800s I don't know when exactly but like I know no no that's right probably longer probably probably longer I mean it probably longer maybe even in different areas I just specifically containing to like being in the United States

historically in no even 18 like so in the 19th century there was like say 19th century Yeah, that's stupid, right? But it makes sense because the first century is that year 100. So that's why there's a fucking, that stupid confusing thing. The first century isn't at year zero or whatever. So it doesn't work that way. Anyway, what the, wait, or is it the opposite? Am I retarded?

Don't listen to me. Strike that from the edit. No, but, no, dude, I saw that and I was, it's crazy because they believe it. You know what I mean? Like, it's just like, Like, it's just like some people in the audience might know this if they're, if they're dual listeners to some of the, some of the stuff that I do. Colin was on this dude, this dude, this dude smash JT. He's like a grifter kind of like,

everything's woke kind of kind of guy. And he makes all this content. He was talking about how like, oh, they're lying about Ghost of Yote's sales numbers to make it seem cool for like internet brownie points or whatever. Like, and Colin was like, that's not how that works. And he went on and he was talking to this guy, like basically like schooling him. like, no, this is not how the industry, this is not how anything works. And you can watch in real time, you can watch Colin understand or learn that he's talking to a just like a mentally disabled person. Like you learn, you see him learn it.

And it's like this Rob Schneider post is exactly the same word. It's like you're so, it's so shocking that people are as stupid as they are. Because you realize, I used to think like either people were playing jokes. And I think that's probably true for a lot of people. There's a lot of people like playing dumb. But you meet certain people and you run into certain people. You hear certain people talk and you can tell earnestly like, oh, you earnestly don't think. Like you haven't thought.

You're like on autopilot. It's like the people who know how to read sentences but don't know how to interpret them. Or it's like, it's like that kind of thing going on. Right. And so when I read this, I was like, this must be sad. Iron that I read it. I was like, oh, knowing everything I know about Rob Schneider in his adult life. It's like, no, okay. Yeah. You are just not smart. Apparently he's the king of community notes. I saw some people talking about that. Because I know I've seen some of his shit before.

I saw him. I don't know if he had his own podcast or if he was on a guest, but it was like a nice studio. It was a nice setup. So there was definitely money put into it. And yeah, he was just rattling off complete nonsense that it does sound like it almost is like, fuck, he's a comedian. Is he, playing the world's stupidest person but like no apparently he's not and his daughter like hates him Yeah, it makes sense Remember what's his daughter's name

Ellie King in the band the band Ellie King or whatever Oh my guess from Sleet or Kainer right? What did you just say? It's from Sleeder Kinley right? Isn't she one of the um no that's the Say that you said slow I thought she's from Sleeder Kinley the rock band But no she's not no it's called like Ellie King or something

Yeah her name's just L King it's just Yeah, some like that. Yeah. You remember that X's a No song? Remember that? Yeah. Well, back in like 2014, 2015 or something like that. Good song.

I don't know any of their other stuff other than that. Sleet or Kenny. I've never even heard of that fucking. One of the people that's in Parks and Rec. What? I don't think I've never seen Parks and Rec. Yeah, I don't know. You're white.

You're a white person. I know that one guy that was gay on The Last of Us was on Parks and Rent. Oh, yeah, Nick Offerman. Yeah, there we go. And then, so was Chris Pratt. Obviously the Chris Pratt, yeah. He, that's where he came from. Aubrey Plaza.

Rob Lowe. I know that name. Rob Lowe was alert to Parks and Rick? No, I didn't know that. Yeah, Roblo. I didn't see it either. I, I, I, I don't watch a lot of those. It's all right.

Super American dry humor, like, doesn't hit that hard for me as, is, as much as I, like, I'll try to watch it. And sometimes it's good. Like, I saw somebody make a style of, uh, it was, it was like, that. It was like a skit or a sketch where someone comes in asking like, is there a black person in the room? Oh yeah. A black person in the room? And like

and it was like, it turns out he was looking for a black, actual black It was a good, it was a good joke. Like it was very dry but it was very good. Yeah. Is there a black person here? Yeah, there's a black person here. And then so it sounds like black person here, but a black purse in here. And there was actually a black woman there. So it was like very uncomfortable and weird. I was like, oh, that's funny. Like that's, It was dry and it was good.

And, you know, but usually... I'm not a dry humor guy, but sometimes every now and then I get like a little bit of an itch. I like it's... But it's... Parks and Rex just kind of felt like they're doing the office again. And I was like, I'm, I'm right. It's a similar kind of show for sure. Yeah, it's, it's, that's...

I don't think any of that stuff's bad. I just, like, to me, that would... I want to put that on if I'm not actually paying attention, I guess. Like, this is like good background stuff. For sure. No, no. Anyway, yeah, I mean, that's really all that I think's been happening. I endorse, I guess, the Communist Party.

Yeah, so spooky socialism. Trump, he's not even a socialist. He's a communist. He was like saying he was straight up. Yeah, he's like, nobody knows the meaning of these words. Nothing at all. It's so sad. It's really bad.

You pussy, we have so many socialist fucking systems. in this country already. What the fuck is wrong with you? Hey, do you want a fat bill when you call the cops, you piece of shit? You fucking, they show up and they hand you a fucking $1,000 bills. Would you prefer that?

Would you like that, you bitch? Like, fuck you. There's no connection being made at all. But, yeah, I mean. Oh, my house is on fire. I hope, fuck, I'm not going to call them because the bill's going to be $10,000. I'm just going to let my house burn down because it might be cheaper if I rebuild it. I don't fucking know.

It's so crazy to me. Yeah, I hope he wins and, uh, I hope if he does what he's going to say he's going to do that it works out good. Yeah. Just needs to be an Ironman suit the whole time. He'll be fine. Yeah. If it doesn't, uh, you know, that'll, that'll be, that'll be what it is. I don't, I don't like the idea of people being like so, because I've seen that already where it's just like, I get why people are excited. I am excited. I'm, I'm really happy about the energy, but I'm already kind of seeing like this kind of call to personality kind of form. It's like, all right, no, let's, let's, let's be level-headed here. I like the energy to push him through, but also, you know, I just think it's so cringe when people, like, express this deep, this deep, deep love for politicians.

Because you see it in the Trump campaign all the time, or like that, that area. It's like, eh. It's fanaticism. Yeah. The fanaticism is crazy. I like what's happening in New York City, though. We'll see. I think I'll win.

I think you can enjoy a politician, right? because I think when I was younger, I was a big fan of Barack Obama based on his charisma when I was done. Let me be clear. Let me bomb a trial. And then he became president. And he lied about pretty much everything. Let me peel this. Let me pick up this in crispin, Yemeni boy and peel his flesh.

Let me, let me find this POW and eat him. Oh. Chard Yemeni child. Yum. It tastes like beef, jerky. A little brown. though. Delicious.

This flint water is absolutely scrumptious. The flint water was so funny. The flint water was like the most, that was, that was, I think, the first time I had acknowledged like, oh, what is, what is up with this guy? That was awesome. Like, bam, delicious. What a bitch.

In my memory, he's like, hmm, that's some good water. And then he throws it on the ground. That's in my memory of this one. You can see that's not what happened. You see the fucking steam from the acid fucking, chewing through the fucking hardwood floor. It melts through the stage, and he's enduring it.

You can see him's melting a little bit, and he tightens back up. There's like a tear. There's a tear like strolling down his face. Yum. It's like the guy from, from Beavis and Butthead to fucking gym teacher. Oh, when he gets kicked in the nuts?

Yes! Oh, God. He fought his way through death. That's interesting. He's tough. Obama's tough, man. He's still around. Still talking to Mark Marion.

Oh, did you see Joe Rogan finally started talking shit? Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side.

For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind it. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today with the goal of being. 70% more productive. Yeah. Wow. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process,

because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight,

Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Oh, yeah, because he got the okay or something. Yeah, it was, so he was talking to Brian Callan, his fucking, you know, alleged sexual assault deviant of a friend. His cocksleave. Yeah.

And do you remember when he did that, he dressed up in a cow suit and was getting whipped by Stephen Crowder? Do you remember that? I do remember that. That is a crazy. I, whoa. Like, I forgot all about that. I think I actually forgot about that the second I stopped looking at it. because like that that is a locked away memory

I was yeah and he was like moo mooh I was like holy fuck dude you were you you sell out your picture dictionary fuck that was crazy but yeah so we finally and Joe Rogan Joe Rogan just can't fucking be

reasonable at any point like just oh Mark Marin's just jealous he's just always been a jealous hater from from the beginning he's his podcast started dipping in this And I'm like, is that all you really, that's all you're going to say about this shit? Like, this guy's been saying valid, throwing valid criticism your way. Saying Mark Marin is a jealous person is like a rapper going like, well, Eminem's white.

Yeah. It's like, Mark Barron is all, Mark Barron is almost like so, he is one of the most transparently jealous people. Like he admits this. He's like a very like, he's like a very insecure, like jealous guy. Like he talks about that all the time. But there's a, and when you see the criticisms that he's leveling against Joe Rogan, it's never like,

it's pretty substantive. It's not like these random, like, oh, I'm jealous. No, it's not like, even if it, yeah,

even if it did stem from that, it's valid criticism. Right. And so, but he, but he just kind of offloads it. It's like, ah,

he's jealous. He'll say anything. It's like, no, there's nothing legitimate at all. And, yeah, like,

it's, I think, I think Mark Marion's jealous in the way that I'm jealous. that these absolute buffoons are at the top of the food chain when they absolutely don't deserve to be. In the same way, like, say, a pop star, even though, like, I enjoy a lot of pop music, I know these people have massive teams around them that make them pop stars. And then I see there's these amazing musicians that deserve so much more,

that deserve so much more recognition because they're, they're DIY, you know? Do these comedians have Do these comedians have parents? I say that only because like I say that only because I look at these people and the things that they're willing to do and say Yeah. And I'm like, I care a little bit too much About how my parents view me to debase myself

In such a way. You know what I mean? That's understandable. I'm just like, I can't go out and just like make videos about how the homeland Homeland Security should be you know beating up old ladies in the street like I can't do that because I feel like I would be embarrassed yeah I like you know but it feels like

there's no shame I guess I don't know there is no shame at a certain point I think I think it's a good point I think Joe Rogan he his family's online they seem kind of weird so it probably there's I want to hear from his daughters

because I'm like Yeah Yeah I wonder like What are they like Are they like cool with all this Or are they like fuck him Or like some of Elon Musk's Kids are like fuck Elon

You know what if they look What if they look like exactly like Joe Roggan But with wigs With wigs It's like Brock Lesnar's daughter Kind of a thing Yeah Yeah yeah yeah

Wors crazier Oh even crazier Like they're just They're five foot fucking one It just like this is They're fucking jacked Giant heads Yeah

They're five, one and about four feet wide, but in one direction. What does that mean? It means they're oblong. It means they're more like ovular as opposed to. They're starting to look very aerodynamic, like a fucking bicycle helmet, like a cycling helmet. Yeah. I don't know, man. I think, I don't know, dude.

Because I saw, yeah, Andrew Shelds was like, it's funny how. He went after him. He went after Marin and I think Anthony Jezelnick. Maybe. I always want to say Jeleznik for some reason, but I know this on his name. Jesselnik.

Because he did say, it's like, oh, dude. He went after Antoinetteau for sure. I know for sure he went after Jezelnick. Okay. I did see a clip of him being like, oh, let me guess Anthony, the baby has AIDS or whatever.

You know, and he was like, he was talking about how like, these people aren't funny. They only know, they only know, People only know these comedians about their opinions from their opinions about comedy, not from their jokes. And it's funny because, like, Andrew Schultz, I only know as a podcaster. Like, I've seen him do stand-up and I thought it was fine. But, like, I don't know a Santino or, like, I don't know a, oh my God, I forgot his name already.

Shultz, I don't know a Shultz joke. I know Anthony Deslenick joke. Like, I almost know Anthony Jesselink exclusively for his material, as opposed to him as, like, a podcaster. Like, it's such a weird, it's a weird thing for a podcaster to say. Yeah. Oh, people only know you for, like, your opinions on comedy and not your jokes. It's like, brother, that's a lot of your fans. Yeah.

I mean, it's the vast majority because he got, it wasn't like his stand. It wasn't like say how, oh, Tom Seguera working his way up. with your mom's podcast, but also having big Netflix specials and having some big, like side by side working to in tangent where Andrew Schultz only started getting big gigs after Flangrit started taking off. And, and, I mean, I know, I know Schultz from, from a while back from Guy Code. That's why I knew. Yeah. Yeah, well, you recognize him. It's not like you were like, oh, I was such a fan of fucking Andrew Schultz and I thought it was funny.

I know it's funny, but like he was, I wasn't like a fan. Yeah, because there was a lot of, if you go back and watch a lot of those type of shows, like MTV, VH1 or something, you'll make, oh, shit, I recognize that person. It was like watching Rain of Fire. And I'm like, oh, shit, Gerard Butler. You know, like, I was like, oh, fuck. Like, it's like that. Yeah. And it's, it's pretty obvious that, yeah, they're podcasters.

They're, that is their deal. I did watch Andrew Schultz's latest stand-up. It was, it was fine. I didn't, I thought it was fine. I remember laughing a few times. But again, no joke stood out. Like, to your point, Chris. where I want to be clear.

Like I do think like I've seen some of his material. I think it's funny. Like I think he's a good comedian. I think he's like pretty good. But like I just like to say that about Anthony Jesselnik who is actually he's like a classic like he'll write like classic like old school material. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's very very set up punchline oriented.

It's like it's not the same as like now. It's like kind of like a lot of crowd work or a lot of like storytelling. It's very old school in that sense. So it's like it's just a weird opinion. have. By the way, I totally forgot this. We talked about Zoran Mamdani going on flagrant. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Andrew Cuomo went on impulsive, which is, I think Logan Paul's podcast. That's Logan Paul's, yeah. I can't even. That is, I, there may be people who are not in the know about this and why this is so funny.

But you are running for the mayor of New York City. and Soron went on however you feel about it flagrant which is probably the biggest New York podcast That's a New York podcast Yep

Cuomo goes on Logan Paul's podcast Logan Paul is an Ohio born dude who moved to Los Angeles and then moved to Puerto Rico for the tax benefits I'm pretty sure Yeah 100%

That is so funny to me Like just that fact. So out of touch. Let me go to, let me go to the Los Angeles guys to make my case for New York. Like, what the fuck? Nobody cares. Nobody in New York gives you shit about Logan Paul at all.

You not even a little bit. Not even a little bit. It's not even remotely a thing over there. So that was, I forgot to mention that earlier. That just, that shot me the hell. I was crashing.

I was like, yo, I was on the plane being like, are you kidding? That's so crazy that he chose to do that. He must have, like, people on his campaign that, like, actively want to see him fail. I think he's like, oh, go on other big podcasts, but I don't want to go on the same one he went on. And it's like, you're stupid.

It's crazy because they would 100% invite him on. And his audience, he has a lot of retards that he could win some of them over. But to be fair to the audience when, because Andrew Schultz was, he was, he made a comment when he was talking about the whole comedy scene and everything. And he was saying, like, man. look at the bad friends. Look at their comments section, man. Their fans are all hating on them because the Riyadh Comedy Festival thing.

And he's like, our fans like don't really give a shit. Like what? He was basically trying to say like, our fans are cool. And then, and you check the comments. And it's like, everybody's like, he's trying to gaslight us. What the fuck's going on?

We've been talking mad shit. Like, so. That Riyadh comedy thing made me lose respect for so many of them. To me. Genuinely, it was only so many of them ever just like, oh,

it's really only Joeffries. Jim Jeffries. obviously Bill Burr and then even though I didn't necessarily respect why the fuck do I keep forgetting that guy's name the SNL guy, the Big Dick? Oh,

Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business?

My one advice to them. Pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today,

with the goal of being 70% percent, more productive. Yeah. Wow. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings,

including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology. It's getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway.

It's Stockup Saviabee. Time now through March 31st. Spring in for storewide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, Orahida, Silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick-up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. What? Pete Davidson. Pete Davidson.

come on that is a crazy way to know someone i i know what you mean he's on s and all the women fuck them famous women fucking is a big dick right right right okay yeah that's i i just i just i just i don't know i wouldn't get like or not normally that would be very weird but like he's specifically known for having a big dick and that's why all these fucking famous bitch to keep fuck because he looks like a strung out druggie like why are all these women flocking after him yeah i can relate yeah but yeah no um i was just saying like personal understanding I didn't really respect Pete Davidson But at the same time

You know Going there Knowing on the information we know About 9-11 Where like most of the hijackers are from there Saudi funded And then it's like I'm gonna go there

Because even my dad like was a fucking firefighter Around that era I'm gonna say something controversial My dad caught a building I'm gonna say I'm gonna say something controversial Yeah yeah that particular Bill Bird disappointed me

Because he's always talking about You know he's always kind of like criticizing this kind of thing from like a substantive position. And so for him to do it comes across as hypocritical. Jim Jeffers I don't know much about. So like I can't really speak on that. Pete Davidson, I almost like at this I respect Pete Davidson more now that he took the, you know, his dad was exploded by these guys.

Right. And he went anyway, but he's never actually like, he's not like a political dude. So I'm like that's kind of that is so crazy and out of pocket that I'm like, you know What? Yeah, okay. There's certain people where like I just, I don't know, I don't have like a high expectation of you anyway. So like for you to do like a crazy thing like that almost makes me like, let's see what else this guy's capable of. Let's see for me take money from the Saudi Arabian government who who conflagrated his father. And. For me, it's funny because I think I see as like his dad was.

like at the end of the Boo saga where they're throwing the spirit bomb at Boo and then Boo tries to push it back a little bit but his dad obviously couldn't push back a falling building explosion. So you know, he died. Yeah. I see what you're saying.

That is a wild thing to say. It's like the button mash mechanic when you're like beam clashing, but imagine it's a building explosion and your father. You know, it's really interesting. I just wonder, does he even actually care about like so I feel like he hasn't really thought about that.

Maybe he doesn't like, he clearly hasn't thought about it. He doesn't have any animosity for the people that killed his dad. I think he probably just thinks those people are gone or like that was so long ago. There's probably some. Yeah. I can't even imagine. I honestly, I don't know how to navigate that mental heads. I really have no idea what he's thinking.

Sure. But he, it must have been good enough for him, you know? Yeah. So it is what it is. I'm more disappointed on the people who make like, make it a thing. to kind of stand on a hill and be virtuous about something Like that you're right that you're right because I don't even

I don't even know I would have cried There's no way like he actually has principles That's that's he's he's he's all the the The com town people is as fucking stupid as a lot of their bits were In their moments of like talking about real shit like they're extremely Principal and extremely progressive and I feel like it that There was a lot of dumb asses that um that hated their sexist and racist jokes that could it. It was like us. We would get flak specifically you and I, Chris,

for just, you know, oh, you're being too edgy. Even though it's like deep down, if you talk about, we talk about politics, it's like, I have nothing against fucking trans people, gay people, religions gay, like it's whatever, you know, like I want people to do better. He's speaking, Derek is speaking for himself. I have problems with all of those communities. Oh, I forgot. I don't, I don't outwardly, but you know, there may be something inside. I completely forgot that that's actually true. And in your content, watching it again, I'll be remembered that you actually were speaking for alt-right positions the entire time. You're mystically homophobic to the point that it's almost magical.

You can read my manifesto. Later tonight. That's a later to that. That's great. Well, before we get on to, before we get into questions, it's official, I guess. Halo is a Halo remake, PS5. Really? Yeah, that's kind of.

Well, it's over. Well, bye. Exclusive. No, well, that would be crazy. That would be so fucking funny. That would be out of pocket, man. That would be so funny. That would be so funny.

Yeah, I was wondering when this was going to. It was obviously going to happen. But like, yeah, it's interesting that that's, I don't know anything about it. We're in the middle of the show while this is happening. I'm sure there'll be all sorts of videos about it and gameplay and stuff. We'll, uh, we'll see. That's interesting. It's fully over.

I mean, we knew gears, the collection, or not the collection, but the first game came to PlayStation. Yeah. So now, uh, now it's Halo's turn and now, they seem to just, they just want to. be a multi-platform publisher, which is clear. So 100%. Good luck. They might actually make good games now. But like, what's this business? I mean, about still maybe making one last console.

I don't know what they're even trying with that. Like that is confusing. With this last junction, I highly doubt that's going to happen now. They're fucking better not. Like, what's the point? Well, see, I think it's just no point. This might as well just fucking not do that anymore and just do what Sega did. The rumor that I heard was that,

They want to make basically a hybrid PC console. Yeah. So basically what they want to do is they want to have Steam on there. They want to have the Epic Game Store on there. They want to have Xbox GamePass on there. Yeah. So they did with that thing, right? The handheld thing?

Yeah. I mean, that would, I mean, earnestly, that would really be the only way for them to convince anybody to buy something like that going forward. Because, like, I could use, like, a really simple, like, if they had, like, a modular kind of PC that was, like, really simple for living room setup. and I could play like God of War and Halo and like get all my storefronts on. That's that's actually appealing in a way that like just an Xbox would not be. You know what I mean?

Like I don't need an Xbox ever again. That actually is kind of. I could use a really sleek kind of living room focused PC that can do all that. That's kind of cool. That's actually a good idea, especially now that my, like you, my PC is in the studio. And it's, it used to be in my living room. next to my TV so I could just easily like, oh, this is no problem. Now it's like, oh, having my piece, have it, that actually, that would intrigue me.

It would. It would. If it, if it, if it, if it, if it, if it, if it, if it, if it, if it, if it, it was. I was our laughing saying reasonably priced because I'm like, come on, it's not going to be reasonably price. No way. No. Yeah. That thing's going to be like, looking, $2,000.

And it'll be like, I'm not buying this from you. In this economy, it might be. Yeah. I was looking at buying. I was looking at the latest graphics. card, the latest GTX. And,

uh, let me check. Wait, don't tell me. Wait, wait, let me check first. Let me check first.

What the fuck is the point? No, guess. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, guess. All right.

So, he's looking it up. He's looking it up. I haven't, I haven't looked it up yet. I'm guessing. I haven't looked it up yet. I'm guessing maybe.

No, I, I'm honestly, I have not looked it up. I have not. Okay. Uh, I'm guessing maybe how much was mine?

I have the 4090. So my, was like six grand I'm guessing 3,000 3,500 I don't know I don't have a guess at all

I'm so out of this That's a it's a little high Cause it's not like It's not What do you call it? Was it 17? Is it 17? What's the word that I'm looking for?

It's not in Remember scarce? There's no scarcity right now Oh okay But you're close I would say you're You said you remember scarce And I was like the guy

Oh, Oh, oh, hey, hey, what's some guys that scares here or whatever. Is that it? He posted a video like two years ago and I was like, what the fuck? Oh, he came back for a second. Yeah, for a hot minute. I remember his fucking reveal, his face reveal, because he like comes from behind a tree like all awkwardly. That was so awesome.

That's iconic him walking out from behind the tree. But yeah, you can find like so like the 59ies or, I was because I was thinking about like, oh I should upgrade I have a 3060 I should get something that's probably reasonable now to just go up another just like another generation and then so I was curious and I saw like the 50

the 50 90s right now I think are the latest ones yeah and so if there is a TI version it's probably easily 3,000 fucking plus but you can find you can definitely find some around the 2000 range if you look so but it was just it did make me think

that yeah at a certain point there's not going to be much discernible difference so we're already kind of there in all fairness we're it's it is barely discernible yeah like i like i have a four i have a um i got my had a 30 70 before and then i have a 4090 now and it's better but like i'm not utilizing it for the point of being better like what am i doing with this i think if you want If you want to run things beautifully on on on the settings all the way high, getting in the 40s is perfect. And then just do you don't need to go any higher because when I was playing, I had a 4070 for a minute before I got a defect with a fucking cyber power. Um, yeah, it was I noticed the difference between the, you know, the 3060 and the 4070. Like I noticed the difference in the environments and like the snow and shit like that when I was playing a sun wukong. And, uh, I was like, okay, cool. Like I'll get. somewhere in the 40 something and then I think I'm gonna just stay there. It really, I don't see, I don't, unless

you know, way in the future, when the 50 something, the 6,000s are gonna be fucking dirt cheap, then okay, maybe. But yeah, I'm, I'm kind of a little old school. Like, I'm like, these look good enough. I'm kind of good. I really feel like I'm looking at the environments, especially with like racing games. I'm like, bro, some of the shit looks real to me.

Like, real, real. And I'm like, I'm feeling like an old person. now when I showed like my mom Resident Evil 5 and she was like blown the fuck away and even though I was like I don't know this looks like not real to me mom it looks good they looked they looked more real back then though like I don't know how to explain it like I it felt it felt real I guess I guess

you had to be there it was the moment you did have to be there in fact yeah yeah but it was I don't know I fucking playing Resilob 5 killing those fucking villagers was a moment bro I'm tired of waiting I already want to play the remake dude I personally, I know We're not getting it until the year after next I'm sorry, Reson Evil fans, I don't give a fuck about nine I really don't I mean, I'm gonna play it of course

I'm gonna play the fuck out of it Yeah, you're not excited about it I'm just yeah, I'm just not excited about it I'm just not a demo come out You played as you saw that look that woman I was gonna say something crazy Oh there's a demo? That are not demo the showcase at the

Oh yeah yeah there was a little yeah I still haven't watched it because I'm like I want five I'm there with you I'm right there with you dude Yeah I want to see what Chevro looks like I gotta see it. So we're gonna move on to some questions here from our patrons over at patreon.com slash the snark tank.

Remember, go over there. If you want to, if you want to ride into the show. Here's the first one from McFolies. He says, hey boys, love the show. But I have to say, I thought it was unnecessary for Sweeney to do his recent solo episode entirely in an offensive Indian accent. I recognize that you guys are no strangers to edgy humor. often push the boundaries, but this really didn't even feel like a joke. It was just an hour.

It was just an hour of Sweeney doing what appeared to be a regular question answering solo episode, seeming completely earnest for the most part, but in an offensively bad impression of an Indian. I particularly thought it was over the line from to end the episode by saying, thank you, come again. See, that's how I did. I think I did. I don't think you did because the fact that there was a punchline there, makes it, like, I believed, almost, I almost believed that this happened, but then I was like, oh, he ended it with a punchline that can't be Kingston. No.

You know, you know what he really ended the episode with? He called me like a bitch or something. Like, you're a dead girl bitch, like, fuck you. And then, and then the hard R. And of course, so I cut off the hard word mid, mid. Did I say any hard R? Yes.

Yes. Oh, jackpot. You, the nerve of him. Wow, really? The nerve of you to even question, like, I said that? Because it's revelation to me. It's not.

I swear to you it was. Sure. Okay. I'm lucid during those moments. You're loose. Let's see. That's funny. I'm funny for that.

Yeah. Yeah. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. It's good stuff. Wait, what is this? I don't know anything about this. Dude Dad Dangler wrote it.

And he says, hey gang. Did any of you see that guy get fucked? I'm fucking creamed in a police chase after he bailed on the 110. I figured that's probably something up Sweens alley at least. Yeah, it is a video of, you know, harm befallen civilians. So, like, Kingston definitely probably saw it. I didn't see it, unfortunately, no. Some guy, like, bailed, like, it was a police chase and he tried to run out in his car on the 110?

Probably. Whoa. Holy fuck. I'm sorry. I've been playing video games lately, so I haven't been kept up on, like. I've been in New York. I've not been paying attention to what's going on here. I haven't been kept up on my usual.

I've been watching The Sopranos. Oh, I started watching Glow finally. Oh, the wrestling show. Yeah, because I was, since I was talking about purging a lot of my streaming accounts. And so I was like, I'll stick to Netflix. Finally watching some shit on my list. Yeah, one of the main reasons I didn't want to watch it because the show got canceled because of a pandemic. So the last season never dropped.

So I'm like, do I really even want to get invested? and then of course I got invested because just like a lot of these Netflix shows it's so fucking obvious they always do this. First episode got to show naked chick to hook you in. Like the stuff,

women are going to be there for the story a lot of times and they're like, we want dumb monkey brain men to stay too. So then Allison Breeze naked within the first like 10 minutes or whatever. Perfect. There we go.

Perfect show. We're like we're hooked. And then of course there are sexy outfits like the entire time and it was like... You said 10 seconds? No, 10... That's like 10 minutes.

10 minutes. 10 seconds? No, that's like orange's new black. I think within the first minute you see, I think Laura preprepan's tits or something. I could be misremembering, but I remember seeing tits pretty fast. And I'm like, we'll see it so.

All right. Donna's Pitsiotti from the That 70 shows, tits are in this. I'm in. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director

research, Jake Embatta, we discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines.

Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.

That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, Oira Ida, Silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings.

Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Yeah. Okay, gotcha. It is. It's good.

It's good. It is actually a good show, too. But it's good. Mark Marenz plays himself, essentially. he plays himself. He does play himself. I think it's so funny thinking about Mark Maren because like I I know I told the story on the show before,

but I still kind of, I still think about it as it like, was this like, did this really happen? I ran into Mark Maren coming out of Jalen's old building. That's right. That's such a weird memory for me because I genuinely, like he was coming out and it was like that awkward kind of like,

oh, we didn't see each other. Oh. So I just looked into his eyes. Basically, I was like, oh. And I was like, I think that guy looks familiar or whatever. And they left.

And I was like, I think that was Mark Marin. Weird. You think he was so many people live in that building. You think he was filming the podcast with Obama right there. And you just like. Yeah, a couple of years ago. Yeah. And then Obama was like, oh yeah, go and get the pizza.

I'll stay here and watch your apartment. I watch your apartment. He bombs it. It is so funny. That's crazy. Well, he's in it. He's in it, though. He has a, he drinks a potion of fire.

resistant. But he's like, bombs an apartment. He's like, he's got like, he's got people who can teleport him. Imagine. He sits there.

He goes, Mark, I've, uh, I've got bad news. Boom. And he goes, he goes,

he goes, see you later. And he just, and he just disappears to get him. March like, what? And then the building explodes. Have you ever seen the interview he did with Gallagher,

that old, uh, comedian? No. So he didn't, an interview with Gallagher, we was just like questioning him. And he was like, why the sudden, he was kind of pressing him a little hard or whatever, but he was, and he was stormed out of the interview. He was like, why are you talking to me if you, if you don't want to, if you're going to argue, disagree with everything I say.

I was like, I thought this was, we were having a good discussion. And you can hear him off the mic, the guy storming out. And he's like, I'm leaving. And he goes, Mark Marin goes, oh, come on, Gallagher. And it is the fun. It is. It is so funny. That's good. Look up Mark Maron. come on Gallagher. It's like if you're there's nothing funny. There's nothing funny saying,

oh, come on and then the name is crazy. And the name. He's, oh, come on, Freezer. You know,

like that's made. That's pretty good. I like Mark, I like Mark Merrin. He's, he's, he's, his,

his, dickheadedness. Dickheaded. I don't, I can't even say that. Edishness. Dick headishness. Yeah.

Like, I feel like it's so necessary. I feel like, I've always enjoyed it. Watching him on glow was very frustrating, but also very entertaining. Because, like, it's, I was like, dude, this is him. This is crazy. That they're just like, oh, we need this piece of shit, insecure, fucking egotistical guy.

They're like, oh, it's called Mark Marin. They're like, oh, you're perfect. Like, this is perfect. Yeah. And he probably's like, he's probably like, yeah, that's me. Okay, I can do that. Yeah. You know?

I guess. I guess. It's like this kind of rude that you fucking called me up for this, but all right, I get it. I'm not doing anything right now. I mean, just put my pants on. Let me see. Pizza Times calzone anal beads wrote in. That's great.

Says, hey, Chris Gay, come, come sweaty. And some black gay. He wrote in, he says, my question for you men of various slurs is actually mainly for Chris. How about you? That's for you. How about you actually play Kingdom Hearts instead of writing. it off is slop. It's not genre defining,

nor is it some life-changing experience, but they're genuinely great games and amazing action RPGs. If you can play the new God of War games, you can play Kingdom Hearts. He has a PS here that we'll get into afterwards, but let me say this. It's not the same.

I don't shit on Kingdom Hearts because I haven't played it. I've played it. I didn't beat it. Under no circumstance, I'm going to finish it. But I've played it. I think I've played probably

a collective four hours of Kingdom Hearts earnestly. I streamed it like I think a year ago. Or like a year or two ago. I played a little bit of Kingdom Hearts 3 with Colin. We did a video of it. So I've played this game. I remember the first time I played it back in the BS2 days where a friend of mine had Kingdom Hearts 2 for the first time

and he was playing through it. He was like and he handed me the controller during the Little Mermaid section. I hate it. with experience. I'm not hating it from afar. I really want that to be clear. There are some games I definitely I like pretend to hate

because I've never played them. Kingdom Hearts is not one of them. In my opinion, it relies too heavily on nostalgia because like when I think about it, I, it, first of all, the dearly beloved fucking soundtrack or whatever, that's, that title is fucking excellent.

So whenever I, I hear that, it brings me back. But then when I start thinking about the actual gameplay, that's the last thing I think about. I think about fucking Donald and goofy. I don't even think about Sora. Sora sucks, in my opinion. You know, some people are, oh, dear you.

But I just don't care about the, it didn't do anything for me. I think about just the little thing. And, oh, and talking to some of the Disney characters. But I'm like, that's not enough to fucking make a video game good. And to that point, I couldn't finish it because I was starting to get like, it was like, oh, it's a little bit too grindy for me. So I used towards the latter half of it I just put on GameShark

I put on GameShark because I was just I just want to get through it And see the story And so I beat it that way Just cheating because I was kind of like over the grind And because it gets There's a little bit of a difficulty jump like most JRP's And so and then I didn't finish the second one It just wasn't it was fine

I don't hate it but I feel like I'm kind of the same like Chris Where I was like yeah it's there It's cool I guess it's fun but yeah i want to be clear i don't think it's like the worst thing i've ever experienced i just don't i earnestly like i i just don't like how it feels to play it i don't like how sora feels to move around i don't particularly like the way weapons feel i don't particularly like the vibe of it it just it's not my thing at all just straight up yeah it's you know what it'd be fun to play you should play this shitty ps2 game called the bouncer you should play that the bouncer i

It's a fucking, it's a, it's a beat them up. It's a beat them up with a bunch of stupid anime characters. You know, they look, they look not tough at all, but they're bouncers. What the fuck is this? I've earnestly never heard of this. The bouncer. Dude, I love, oh my God. I love the game.

Wait, hold on. The game is about bouncers, actually? Yes, literally. They're bouncers and they look not like bouncers at all. But in that universe, they probably are look tough, you know? Because, like, Cloud is right. is a badass. But you know what Cloud looks like,

you know, so it's like that type of... I think it's a little different because Cloud is famously not, like, cloud looks like a bitch. I think that's the point. He does look like a bitch,

but like... I think that's the point of the world too. I think like... They make comments on it. Look at the main character of the bouncer. He reminds me a little bit like a more human version of Sora. He is just straight up.

Yeah. And it looks like someone put... It looks like... This is not this exactly, obviously, but it looks like someone hit Sora with a live action gun like a transformation like it turns you into a live action person but then shut it off halfway. He looks like the middle animal morph between Kingdom Hearts Sora

and real person Sora. Yeah. And he's just stuck in the middle transformation. Listen. Yeah, that's clearly a reference to like Final Fantasy. Did you play this? I beat it several times. Look at first of all, I'm a huge beat-em-up fan.

I love beat-em-ups. this is how I can tolerate anime shit. Sure. Like, it's just in these, it's stupid, it's cheesy, it's short. Too long, then all of a sudden these dumb characters that are whiny, start getting introduced in a lot of RPGs. And I'm like, I can't deal with this anymore. Like some whiny cat type of character, some girl that's her way too high pitch and shit.

Like, this was very controlled. And so if it's in like a, it's like say there's certain animas that I'm like, I can't watch it all the way through because it's too cheapy. You know, and then, so it's just kind of like that where this sucks. Don't get me wrong. The bouncer sucks. But it reminds me of 95 Mortal Kombat in a way that, like, I am aware this sucks, but it's charming.

Yeah. So like, anybody, go play the bouncer if you can find it somewhere. Yeah, definitely play. Yeah. Get an original copy of the bouncer. I wonder how much an original copy of the bouncer goes. Ooh, fuck. The bouncer.

If it's cheap, I'm going to buy it. PS2 physical copy Let's see The Bouncer Let's see how in demand this is Uh All right

It's not that crazy Uh The yeah PS2 inbox copy So case and manual Is 31 bucks Mm Ooh yeah

I see one for Okay I see I see one 1799 That's the game By itself With no With uh with no case

Hey well fuck with me. Hey. Okay, I found another one with a different. I've never even seen this. Is this like the Japanese version? There might be, yeah. Because it's like a different cover.

Back then they had different. Back then that would happen a lot. You would get like, it's not really that way anymore, but like Japanese and American box arts used to be different. I remember that with Budakai. The Budakai games had that. And I remember Budakai 3 in the U.S. has such a shit box art.

and then the Japanese one is so much better. Yeah. Because the English one is just gohoo's fist and it takes up the whole fucking thing. I'm not even exaggerate. Is that? That's Budakai 3. I got to see that.

Yeah, let me send it in the... Yeah, dude, it's the first thing that comes up if you Google image search, Budikai 3, it's straight up. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research Jake Embatta, we discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM Research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing,

whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.

Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway.

It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, Oira Ida, Silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply.

See website for full terms and conditions. Like just Google search Budikai 3 images and it's like, it's just Goku's fucking fist. You see Goku in the back, but it's like, it's so cropped. Why is it like that? It's very weird, especially because all the Budakai games before that had like pretty good. It's like very, like, because clearly there's like an entire image of him. Right. And it is like, oh, it would be better to just because probably, oh, if you put it mostly his face in,

there's like his finger is still in this shot. And they're like, that looks stupid. Let's just focus on his fist, I guess. It sucks. It's a great game. That's pretty game. But the Japanese, I think the Japanese covers way better. Let me look at Japanese.

What the fuck does Budakai even mean? I think it means tournament. Tournament, okay. Okay. No, the Bhukai, Tengkaiichi, that's what it's called, right? No, Budakai is the tournament in the real thing. And I think Kaiichi means something different. Yeah, I don't.

I've been saying I was going to learn Japanese for a long time. It ain't happened. I'm going to do it. So Teng Kaiichi translates to number one under heaven. Hmm. That makes sense. And Boudicai means, yeah, I get it. That actually makes it.

Budakai means martial arts. tournament. Okay. It means specifically martial arts tournament. That's interesting. Okay, gotcha. All right. But, uh, yeah, anyway. Shout out Dragon Ball, man. Shout out Dragon Ball, man. Shout out Dragon Ball for changing the game. You don't give it, we don't give it the respect it deserves. It's, it's, it's stupid, you know? Like, it's, it's great,

but it's stupid. It's objectively stupid. Like, I don't know anyone. If anyone that's saying that, like, this shit's deep and all this shit, like people, like, they're, they're slow. There's deeper, there's deeper elements to but it's not a deep show, but there's deeper elements. You can always put, it's like, you ever seen the movie, for Vandetta. Like, there is a short story within that stupid-ass movie that is very deep and very like, oh man, this could have won an Oscar, this little short story within it.

Like, it's a fake thing with a... The graphic novels very well regarded. I love that movie. But also, it's fucking silly. But I'm just saying within it, there's a really like, it's like, oh, Natalie Portman's reading a letter. And then basically what she's reading, they're now, those scenes are playing. of what she's reading. Very compelling, very fucking pull at your heartstrings.

You know, if anyone hasn't seen that, it's online. Just put in like Viva Vandetta letter or something. And you can see that. It's probably like six minutes. And deep. You know what I'm saying? Like you can know, you can put deep shit within like fucking garbage, of course. That's true. I see what you mean. All right. Let's see. Let's see. Here's one. Hello. Oh, Pre-Raz. pre-Raz wrote in he says hello to PlayStation podcast or Unfortune Punching Back at the show and editor have already recorded debates Episode Zero listener here from the Midwest As I'm hoping my question finally gets read

This is for Gangsta Quest Gangsta Quest as you know is our It's Derek's idea for a video game in which Various urban gangs get What basically teleported into like Issa guide into like a Skyrim world. Yeah. Yeah.

I only say that because I'm only trying to be a little bit more conscious of like somebody being like what the. We talk about a lot of shit that we've talked about forever with no contextual preface. That is true. It's the idea that we're going to steal from Derek eventually. We're going to. Listen. I'm actually learning.

I'm actually learning 3D modeling right now to listen. Those are one of that is one of those things that I don't need credit for. Oh, sure. It'd be nice. I just want to see it made. You know? Sure, it would make me a little mad if someone was like, oh, yeah, I came up with this concept.

And I'm like, fuck you. There's a paper trail of you being a fan of this podcast, you know, or something, you know? You could easily sue for that and win, I think. Yeah, probably. Like, no idea. Like, that is crazy. Yeah.

It's just like, I don't, that's such a hyper-specific idea. It is. Like, I, and I do have, I have, like, a podcast. I have a 40-minute podcast from, like, 2013 going over all this shit. So it's like, I have evidence. Yeah, I'm a deleted. Don't worry. I'm thinking that.

That is mine. Especially if they call it Gangster Quest. Yeah, that's right. Come on. But, uh, so anyway, so anyway, thugs journey. That's, I kind of like that. Thug journey. I kind of like that.

That's crazy. That's the expansion. Yeah. This is for Gangsta Quest. If you three individually had a faction, what would the faction be called? So we were characters in the game, I guess. And what buffs are, debuffs would be tacked onto the player

of gangsta quest I would have a I would have obviously a Hispanic gang probably and they would be called something I would some like it should be called the hente

so like a completely fucked like it's not it doesn't function truly that's so wrong it doesn't function either place no I exactly It's an incorrect thing. Right. And then it'll be, I don't know.

They would do more bleed damage, I guess. For me, the stabbing. It might be called the bumbleclots. That'd be easy. The bumbleclots. It'd be the bumbleclots with a little small Puerto Rican flag like in the corner. Like a really tiny one in a corner. It'd be a Jamaican flag with like, I don't know, like, what do I like?

It'd be a Jamaican flag with something that's very Jamaican, like an overweight white woman in middle. That's crazy. And then you would get like, I don't know, you'd get plus one constitution and plus and minus three charisma because of how aggressive you are. But you do really throw in the invasion tracks. Minus three charisma is crazy. I like the idea of like having so.

It's going to be like a, you know, hood game. South Central hood gang. They end up where the orcs are. And so they teamed up with the orcs. and they become the blood orcs. They're going to be blood orcs. They're, they're,

they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they,

they, they, they, they, teach them their ways. So it's like, all right, this is how we do business.

It's how the blood, uh, business, this is how we talk, you know, so then now we got to, we got to put bees, a bunch of shit.

So then the orcs start talking like that, but the orbs. The worms? The blood orbs. And then the orbs are like, oh, the weird. the orbs now. Hey, mate. And fucking, they, um, teach them how to be like brutes and like vanguard type of

tactics and shit. So like, that'd be so terrifying. So now you see all these niggas. It's just buffs that are not necessary to have for groups of people. So of course like, you know, increased attack, you know, buffs. The debuffs is going to be defense down. It's going to be very like, you know, glass cannon type shit. And like so they're going to be fucking, you know, if they get you, they're going to fuck you up. Right. They're like marauders. And so it would be like kind of cool. Like I, I, I, I, I have a vision happening and I'm like God damn I want this shit made dude What gang would be the worst to have them interact with

Like the dragons of the world like the fucking flying Nukes and then like I don't know who it would it be like the FBI Like the FBI somehow sneaks into And they get the dragons and that'd be crazy And informant like you know and some of the like one of the gangs The guys they come back it was they were a fucking informant right They were a rat and they're like oh fuck how am I going to get out of this and stuff And then he's like, you know, tactical.

He's like, first in his class, you know, he's really important assignment. So he whispers in one of the dragons. He's like, listen, I can get you all the gold you want. Like I, like, all these nigs are stupid. Like, I know how to get them the dragon's like, hmm. You drive a hard bargain. He's like, okay, do you have magic dragon? Can I get more of my FBI buddies down here?

Instead of going, instead of trying to leave, he's trying to get more people. Just thinking of it like this, right? A dragon, though it is a powerful creature. We're killing a dragon in the real world. Unless it depends on how much magic it has. Yeah, it depends on what dragons are we talking about. Are they more like just giant fucking annoying lizards like in rain of fire? Or they smile.

Yeah. Are they like, that's the magical power. In most fantasy settings where they're like extremely superior, which is still terrifying. It's so unfair. Like, what the fuck is that? They're usually, there's just not many. The balancing act is that there's not many of them.

That has to be the balancing act of dragons. Yes. If they exist and they're smarter than people and they have more magic than people do, they simply have to be fewer. Yeah. Because if that's not the case, then there are no other races. You ever watch Cowboys and Aliens? Do you ever remember that movie?

Yeah. I remember it vaguely. I never saw it. How the fuck do the humans win? Because obviously they must win, right? It's a fucking Western. They win. How?

The human team. Probably a Mars attacks-ass rule where they just like play a song. It's not as. many. It's not as this number. It's not as many aliens. How do you even take out one spaceship? Because they're vulnerable to bullets eventually. That this is how it works.

Because clearly yes. Duh. Duh. Whatever. Like, I get it. I never watched it for that specific reason. Maybe the aliens. It's like, dude, I get it. They win. Well, no. Hold on. Maybe it's maybe the aliens. I didn't, I don't know what the aliens in that

movie look like. But it could be a scenario where it's like, it's almost like we're tigers and the aliens are like humans in comparison. You know what I mean? Like we're just like they're short and they're really skinny and they rely on technology. Like they rely on their like little gun or whatever. And then like we're just big enough that we just like kick them. We can kick him in the face.

Yeah, kick him in the head. Like that's, I don't know anything about that movie. Like that alien in fallout that says the heart off where he dies. I love. That one is crazy. It's my favorite thing probably in this world, I think. Is that alien? He looks at you, he knows it's over to, immediately.

I want to read this right because it's so specific, but I think it's accurate. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.

Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building, hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature.

Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Kondo? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com

slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, or Ida, silk, Capri-Sung, Bavarian Meats, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more.

Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy, drive up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Do you know the cure and the smiths? Sure. Those bands. Yeah. It's like a Monday you can fall apart, you know. Yeah. So this guy writes it Fumble the Batty

making a snark tank reference. Yeah, don't do that first of all. Do not reference, if you're trying to get laid, do never quote our show. Really don't do that. Just earnestly. Yeah. She has to bring it up or or whomever, the person of interest has to bring it up first. And you're like, oh, shit, I like the snort thing too.

And then you guys can fuck. But don't bring it up. Don't bring it up. Keep this a secret, in fact. Never share this part of your life with anybody. I don't do that. I like word of mouth. Well, yeah, you could, whatever.

What are we doing? What are we doing right now? If you're trying to fuck them, don't say anything. Yeah, exactly. So he, this person writes in, the lead singers of the cure and the Smith sound like special needs children running down the hallway. Yeah.

I think the hallway is very accurate. I hear it. I can hear the hallway in the songs. Yeah. I can hear it. So you're right. I remember being a young person and like obviously especially these kids are like doing whatever they're doing and people are just a laughing their asses off at them.

And even at that age, I was like, I can admit that I have a tickle of laughter, but you guys actually suck. Look, it's a, it is really suck. Yeah. At our school, we were actually kind of, I was actually surprised at how, like, not cruel. Oh, no. Every school I went to was this fucking the worst kinds of kids, unfortunately. Because I would go, I would move out of a hood area and go to school in the next hood area near where I lived.

And I'm just like, why? At my school, yeah, at my school, they would always, like, they would genuinely, like, always protect, like, the disabled kids. Like, they wouldn't let me anywhere near them. That's crazy. You try to pounce. Like, I earnestly, like, I try. like I tried to stick the broomstick in the spokes of the wheelchair. I tried.

They just genuinely did not let me near him. They had you chained up like Hollow Night, dude. I don't understand that reference, but I'm sure. He was chained up. He was chained up suspended. Dispended and chained up in the air. Is that real? Being suspended is crazy.

Someone suspended you up by chains is really excessive. Jesus Christ. It's just floated. It is crazy. All right, let's see. What? You say he's going to what? Do you say he's going to what?

What is that real? What is that? I don't know which one it is, but I think it's from one of the, the, the newest of Spider-Bag games. And like, I don't know what he's saying,

because it literally sounds like, we're going to rape you, Spider-Man. And I was like, and I was like, I need somebody to isolate that because of without the music. I'm trying to find another R-A,

R-A word that would make sense. Yeah, listen a little carefully. Let's see. We're gonna erase you maybe? Erase you. That's not bad. That's a crazy thing for a thug to say. That's not bad.

You say he's gonna, what? No, there's nothing that begin that. That's raw. Yeah. That hold it raw. I don't know about that one, brother. Break? Yeah.

Break? Break? Oh, it might be break, actually. I feel like we're doing a lot of heavy lifting for this. There's no way. There's no way a, fucking henchman in Spider-Man PS4 says we're going to rape you

Spider-Man, Kingston. We're doing a lot of you listening for that. Absolutely insane. All right, let's see. And they do it.

They actually, they do it somehow. All right, let's see, Master Chief's War Criminal Cock rode in. He says, this is mostly for Sween. War Criminal Cockerode.

A lot of the usual suspects have gotten mad at the D&D for posting gay pride post with gay pride art. A lot of them have been saying that the game is ruined forever because of now they can't play a game that is gay and woke. I am here asking, please explain why that is the most fucking imbecile brained opinion ever. Well, we have to. We got to be real, right? You got to be real, right? There's a correlation. It is worse.

There's a correlation between people that play games like that, people that are in part of those are fan bases, and probably not being the biggest fan of people that are different. Because they often come from bullied perspectives. So it's like, yeah, I get how often people that, because look, there's a lot of, if you read fantasy stuff that is written pre a certain point, it is very clear. clearly racist stuff in it. Like any sort of basically analytical brain may not be intentional. Like token stuff. Pretty racist some shit in there, man.

It's like this is racist. Of course. Wow, look at Chris, man. He's going for it. He's doing as usual. He's doing as usual. I was simply listening and paying attention. I was listening and learning.

But I don't know, man. For me, I think they are adding a lot of prideful gay things to D&D. and they're kind of like marshmallowifying it and softening it. He's such a cut. And I think that's a thing that people can be mad about because I think I think there's a lot of it. It used to be more of a gritty game. And I did draw in the older user base.

But the problem is that that's not the modern user base. And you got to get used to that. You can't you can't stay on that, unfortunately. Like it's the same thing with freaking Dragon Age. Look, I started playing Dragon Age. in origins. It's not that fan base anymore. A lot of the fantasy fan base

for people that find escapism in the I don't even know what you're talking about right now. I don't even care anymore. It's just simply the idea that things, a lot of things of the fantasy arc have gotten rainbow-fied and marshmallow-fied, you know? They're softer.

They've become softer in general. Do you think that's what those people, I just thought there was just bigoted people? That's what, no, no, no, that's what's happened, right? And now those people that are bigoted within those fan bases are mad because it's not we're showing them the victim of the world they wanted to be is it is it more of

is I I feel like it's more of a newer fan base that never gave a fuck before and don't necessarily actually care about D&D and all that shit that is just that plays finding because like because you see that guy that said he was like uninstalling battlefield six for a skin that's not even

real like he saw a rainbow skin on a gun that's not even in the game yet and he was like oh that's all I need I'm on the skull in the game and it's like even if it was real you don't have to do anything with that fucking skin why I don't know man it's it's people

that complain about shit it's obviously internet fucking ins people that want right it's just inciting it's fake there are there are people there are people that but they're such a minority that yeah it's like uh well is that how they sound Whoa.

Oh, I'm a leaf. Whoa. Oh. What, what, what, what, what, what, what. Oh, wow. Well, now, I got a little, I got a little, hey, let's have sex. Oh, look at him. Oh, I like that one.

That's a small one, right? Yeah. Let's have sex. Let's put our penises in each other's. I need a weaner now. I know a weiner. I might get them. I mean.

I know. That's crazy. right this way. Paramount. Paramount Plus's version. Yeah. How old are we? I don't know.

I'm gonna be 40 in three years, bro. That's crazy. It is crazy. I'm gonna be dead in three years. I'm gonna feel. That is true. I'm gonna, I'm gonna feel 40.

I mean, Walmart brand. It's good. Walmart brand wrote. And he says, I saw Derek's one iconic vein pop out of his forehead when he found out Chris lied about Austin Bowers remake. Oh, yeah.

I was generally upset. You put me through it because I was actually like, this is so stupid. It's only, yeah. Wasted energy. It's only, yeah. It's really interesting that you can just lie for, for no reason. That's like there's this guy. I can't remember what his name is.

He's like a famous comedian. I don't believe you. I don't believe you what the fuck No there's I don't know what his name is He's fucking oh I think he was the guy I could be wrong He was I think he was the guy that

Sam Hyde flipped a table on On that podcast Oh my god I don't know why I can never remember his name Yeah I don't even know if it's exactly that guy It's somebody who looks a lot like I don't know whatever Something Williams Harley

Go ahead go ahead go ahead go go go He was talking to some other I heard the story on the podcast they were like, he was like, yo, is Amazing Fantasy number one worth something? He was talking to some other guy and he goes, yeah, like the original Amazing Fantasy, yeah, it's probably worked a fucking shit

ton of money. I was like, why? You don't have that? And he was like, no, my dad my dad handed it down to me or something, and I've had it, I just like forgot about it and I've been keeping it in pretty good condition, but like, I don't know if it's worth anything. And then he was like, do you really have Amazing

Fantasy? And then he goes, psych. it was like just no joke at all it was just like 10 minutes of a lie you're like what the fuck I guess that's I guess that's technically the joke but also like kill it's just a joke for the person like it's it is just a self-serving joke and I don't mind it yeah it I don't mind it I know your dad did shit like that to you and it rubbed off he didn't do anything like that to me he did he would fucking you tell you bullshit all the

time oh yeah Yeah, but he would never admit that he was lying. He just kind of let it happen. Oh, so he's, he's worried. I'm actually, I need you to understand. I'm actually like a thorough improvement. All right, he broke the cycle a little bit. I get it.

Yeah, I broke the cycle. My son, my son will never lie. Yeah. At the rate that it's going. Right. Like my grandma used to beat the piss out of her kids and my mom lightly beat us and then I'll probably slap my kid once or something. Yeah.

And then your kid and then your kid, will beat the shit out of his. Yeah, because it's got a... That's the cycle. It's the circle of life. It's what the life is about. I don't have this because my grandmother was,

which I would admit, she didn't really give me many beatings. My grandmother definitely, it turned from like beatings until like a point where it's like really, really painful conversations that were mean. Did your grandmother ever do the thing

where she would like hit you in the back with a rake and pull down and pull your back down? No, my grandmother would in Texas chainsaw massacre me. No, she wouldn't do that. Yeah. It's one of those fucking,

The metal ones too. But a lot of my friends, they grew up, right? It was an old rusty 19 third. It's the rake from that famous photo of the two old, the two like people. That's crazy. It's that kind of a race. That's a piece of history. Yeah.

They didn't give a shit. But like my, what the fuck was that? What was that? What was that? Never mind. But my grandmother, like people would be like, oh, yeah, you beat me when I was younger. And their parents would be like, no, I did it.

And it's like, I have what? Yeah. A lot of people's. families do that shit and I'm like I know just compartmentalized I do think they earnestly I do I do honestly don't think that's like a malicious lie because I've watched crazy I've watched I've watched people like earnestly forget like a lot like as they get old they just like you know what that says goes away it was it was it was inconsequential it was insignificant to them to where they didn't hold on to that memory like it didn't yeah my mom it means they shouldn't have my mom

my mom did their kid in the first place well sure but like my mom does not remember the rake at all She built like a fucking, like a Tears of the Kingdom kind of contraption with like three separate rakes on a, on a consistently turning turbine and she would just set it loose in my room. Oh. That's all right. That's like a fucking baby lady. Just let it riff at your room and slam the door shut and hold it closed. Oh, they have her foot on the freaking the thing and just hold it. It'll be over soon, Christopher.

Just what? You're screaming. And you're screaming so loud She can't hear it anymore She just feel the shockwaves Of you getting me Hell yeah Man

I'm never gonna I'm never gonna beat my kids I'll stand by my children Kaysen will never beat his kids I will beat his kids Yeah that's crazy I will shoot you Good

Still beat Still beat them Yeah You're not gonna unbeat your kids If you shoot me like Like I might I might hopefully do something to help him out I'm like here you go guys

I shot him in a head with a gun I shot them in front of you You're gonna make it way worse Because I'm gonna beat them And then you're gonna shoot me in the head And then I'm gonna brain all over them My brain's gonna fall all over them That's crazy

And they're gonna get and they're gonna eat a little piece Of my brain by accent And then they're gonna become me Yeah That's how it works That's how it works Exactly exactly what happens That's exactly I made a wish

I made a like when back when I had fairy godparents I made a wish that like That it would be so whenever you ate a brain you would become the thing that you ate. And so few people do it that it's not like nobody knows about it, but I know about it. I like that. Yeah, I got a genie. And what I do with my genie was after I had sex with it hundreds of thousands of times.

I wished, I wished one, that people's brains would turn them in other people. Two, when you die, you go to hell. And three, the genie dies right now. I was having this conversation with a friend of mine. I was having this conversation with a friend of mine. Like, do you think, how different do you think the world would be? like let's say like at the nursery right like your your baby's born and they give you like all the paperwork like this is his blood type or whatever

like whatever it is they do with newborns and they so they say congratulations this is your son I don't know Stefan yeah I don't know whatever it doesn't matter this is your son Stefan here's his blood type here's um how you're supposed to take care of him also he is going to hell Well, cool.

We ran the test three times. He's hellbound 100% no matter what he does. It would just make more evil people. You can baptize him if you want. It's not going to keep him out of hell. It would just make evil people. I mean, if that's the case, I would just blast. Well, because the baby, because here's the thing.

No, I want to be clear. It's not that he will be a bad person. It's that he's going to hell. Well, I guess it would just be, like, it would be more people that would be evil. Because it's like there's no point. It has nothing to do. No, no, listen to me. It'd be because there's no point of them doing good.

Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbeta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing. Whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.

Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right?

Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st.

Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, ORAIDA, Silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply.

See website for full terms and conditions. So it's like, why would I spend my life doing good if I'm just suffering damn nation? That's what happened to Trump where he had that little arc where he was thinking, I need to do some shit to get in heaven. And then he just thought about it for two seconds. And he was like, oh, wait. No way. No way. I'm going to just lean into this.

I'm going to destroy parts of the White House and make my ballroom. I'm going to bomb a bunch of fucking innocent fishermen and then use it as an excuse to put boots on the ground in a fucking another country. he's all in he's all in oh i love to hear him say that oh oh oh oh oh shit i'm not going what the fuck yeah oh did you see that edit it looks like they have guns in my house did you see that edit of i can't believe this it reminds me a little bit of uh of uh bill clinton was at aritha franklin's uh funeral and araniana grande was singing and then bill clinton was like oh my god And so there's a moment where Charlie Kirk's wife is hugging Trump on stage at the memorial or whatever. And Trump like made this gropey like thing.

And like he made a face where he's like like grops her. And I never saw it until last night. And I was somebody put it, coupled it with if you ever seen wedding crashers where like they crashed a funeral. And like this girl's crying and then like fucking Will Ferrell's like pretending to be sad. but then he's looking and be like, oh, yeah, like I'm gonna fuck this bitch and then pretending to be sad again. And it was very reminiscent of that.

And it, I don't get shocked very often, but like, that was, that was very authentic. And we know where Charlie Kirk's wife came from. Like she was the, you know, so like it's, but to do that on the stage of on that day, specifically, it's like, let me be on my best behavior. And he was like, nah. Why would you bring your best behavior?

I'm going to show all of my homies how fucked up I am by being like, I'm going to grope this bitch and make like a lustful face. And I was like, damn, that's, I mean, that's, there you go. I haven't seen that. I don't disagree with you. I don't, I don't disagree. I mean, he's kind of like already has several sexual charges, like a litany of them against him. So that doesn't sound like it's impossible. It's just wild to see it live, I guess, like in so open.

It was like that also that pastor in the Aretha Franklin's funeral, that pastor that was groping Ariana Grande. And like you can see like the indentation of her bra like where his fingers were. So he was like basically copping a feel of her tits. And she felt visibly. She saw her visibly uncomfortable. She's kind of like it was so fucking crazy. Just like. I love it.

I love the world. Seeing it open is crazy because you know they do shit like this behind closed doors all the time. But I'm like, niggia, you're on camera. Millions of people are watching you. Why the fuck not? Why wouldn't I go? I get it. Like, if you're at that level and you're untouchable, it's like, yeah.

Like, watch this. This is going to be hilarious. This is going to be great. Watch this is crazy. Yo, look at this guy. Hey, guys, watch me. Watch me assault this woman. Look at this.

It's so fucking wild, dude. The world is hilarious now. We're in funny mode. This is a, welcome, like, an alien. Like, oh, world is this? That's the funny world right there. You know that one where all that dumb shit happens that never happens to us. That's funny.

I think aliens would be a really interesting thing because they'd come down and they'd be like, so we're from space and we made it all the way here. And you guys are really not that different. People would be like, yes, we are. And they'd be like, oh, cool. I'm going to turn you into juice. If the only difference is like they had diamonds on their foreheads, yeah, like it would still be enough to where the dumbest people on this planet would be like, you're fucking different from me.

You're a sky inward, killing. You're a fucking crazy. Space and word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's gonna fuck out of here, man. Yeah, let's wrap this wrap this bitch up. Yeah, let's wrap, let's wrap our dicks in

tinfoil and put it in a microwave. Actually, I like that. I do that every Tuesday. We're gonna, we're gonna wrap the show up. We're gonna read our $25 and up patrons. Remember, you can go over to patreon.com slash a snark tank. Get your name read at the end of the show. All that jazz.

to like, subscribe, comment, all that shit. Leave a nice review on podcast services if you can, if you, if you're, if you're, if you're feeling so fucking inclined. All right. We got, do I have the names pulled up? Yes, I do. All right. Count me down.

Three, two, one. Big Chrissy, a comfy trans knight. And she says, colon three, fatherless behavior, God's favorite friend boy, Malik Berry, RFK cut my dick and now I have autism. Cobeba, animatronic Sweenie, full metal Sweene, gay boy farty. Nice.

So dumb. The president wants to kill me with a mortar. The porn addicted spider. Gay secret gay sciop to gay Chris gay, gay, gay, Jesus. Guy so Jewish, he's generally frail, but good at finding deals

at the deli. What is that even? Never back down, the backdown 2017 or 2027 getting judah $25 by two sexy big black israelites and a light skin twink delta gamma literally fed this toddler last week why is it still crying clamule esqaacquire the third nico nico it's your cousin come gate my ass it's crazy that's our tank's hung as trans girl irs stole my tits that's crazy they repositioned it um ozempic drowger did you go to the no king Kingston protests.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Everybody, there was an entire city in the United States where, like, everybody got the messaging mixed up. On the day of the No Kings March, there was an entire town that thought it was no Kingston. So there was a whole group of people just that they had like effigies of Kingston. Burning them. I'm very upset that the day that we were supposed to record and you had the technical difficulties, that was what I was going to lead with. Because like it was like the first thing that like, oh, no Kingston process. That was gonna,

Was this a lingering joke You guys had ready to you? No, I didn't, I didn't. I just, I, because I was like, oh, there's nothing really happened other than the No Kings thing over the weekend. And so I was like, I'm gonna lead with, uh, it's gonna be no Kingston. And I forgot about it, you know, days later. I was like, yeah, fuck. I know.

Crazy. It was annoying. We could, we could, we technically, we technically could have done it, but my audio would have been so bad. Yeah. Yeah. Because it was like, I was using like old webcam audio. Osepic drag Okay, I read that already

I'm gonna kill the president with a mortar Saitama versus Mr. Rogers in a bloodstained sweater Elder Scrolls elves call Red Guards enois I don't know what that is Two rats piloting Mechusween to fight off

Joe Frogan invasion Old snake But he's addicted to paint Huffing episode of the Star Tank But there's a gas leak Pizza Times calzone anal beads Feeding every pilot Slow acting Xlax and Melaton

uh berser falling asleep while you're shitting uncontrollably is is fucking out's out that is outrageous uh berserker black man backshoting broly reckless reckless rhino the sloker two why so der derpy jack daft punk were originally called stupid bastard that's i don't even know if that's like that's not funny enough to be fake you know what i mean like i almost feel like maybe yeah that's daft punk kind of like how it's kind of like how green day used to be used to be sweet children no no they would be whatever before they changed the name. Blue Knight. That's basically what that joke is. True. Jizzy little gay boy. My Chris Hanson Tamaguchi is really hungry. Actually, no, that's not right. That Giger screenshot my wife. Old man spaghetti nuts. I'm like that you corrected it. Domo Nation, hashtag bring back Jalen. Oh, yeah, he, maybe.

Yeah. I was supposed, I'm so stupid. I was supposed to bring. I forgot I have an extra mic at home for like when I record. I was going to pack it up and bring it. But I forgot I'm going to have my mom ship it. So we don't have to constantly tell people to guests to bring theirs. Oh, yeah. Derek not Chauvin is innocent and hashtag free him round died Asian finding out the new halo is made mostly with AI. So death sounds good. Nothing straight can happen. It can only gay happen. It is okay to call my wife. Is it okay to call my girlfriend a Chinese bitch? during an argument. Probably not, I'm going to say.

I'm going to, if she's not Chinese is technically better. Yeah, hopefully she's not. But that's even, but that's even crazy. Like, I love that. It's crazier, but better. It's the way to win an argument because it's so crazy. She'll probably be like, what? And probably stop it.

Like arguing, like, arguing with your, like, white husband and calling him the N-word is crazy. He's like, what? Right. I feel like Micah does that. I feel like Micah calls calling that. She's funny enough That like yeah

That might be like one of her Her trades Broke Wiga 24 7 Uh Queen of Fapp hazard Graw Cockbarrage Mrah

Nice Blonde blue eyed German man campaigning to make Pokemon 2D again Come on Chris You're sure Vivzip Can't get you in touch with Keith David

I would never pull those The thing is I would never pull strings like that You should I would never I would never pull those strings Because I don't want Keith David to know who I am Because if he knows who I am

He's gonna be like Oh I what no actually he wouldn't. He's not going to give a shit. Yeah. I was going to say he'll Google me and then he'll, he'll just see all of the episodes we've done where he was just like, I think we have a whole episode about fucking him. Probably. Or something. Or like, no, no, no, it was, it was,

you said we would get him on the show and then Kakeson said he would, he would be jerking off the whole time. Then he would jump up real quick and come on the camera. Yeah, that is. Yeah. Fat ropes because he was fucking edging the whole time. Jumping and coming is crazy. But, like, stabilizing, like stabilizing while you're doing that is interesting.

Yeah, it's like a steady can. Because I've definitely fallen over before. What? Like in the act and I've definitely like, oh, and I've... Are you standing up? Yeah. Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna.

And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential? to create smarter business. My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago,

they're already five years behind it. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah. Wow. So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process,

because the biggest change is not technology, is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, ORAIDA, silk, Capri-Sung, Bavarian Meats, and Charmin.

Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. When I'm doing the deed, not like this. Not just, you know, it depends on where you are.

Well, that's very different. Uh, yeah, sort of. I, Okay, man. I felt the weakness. No, I don't want to hear any more. I don't want to hear any more of it. I'm just letting you know.

I don't need to know about it. You'll see if I can find this thing. Uh, Fenboy Clown, now with honked balls. I'm going to change my profile picture a Hopewell pizza time. Fugzilla versus King Chronic. GTA4 swing set glitch,

frogs together strong. Pibis Dinkledorfsky for Larmine County Coroner. Do you elect coroners? That'd be insane. The male gaze. But like G.A.Y's. I get it.

Banassus, Greek god of the herb. Metal Gear was only peak when Kojima left. You're crazy. That's insane. So, Metal Gear Survive is your peak Metal Gear game. And only survive. Big Meaty stinks.

That's so insane. Donald dumps shart of a deal. I'm going to butt fuck the president with a mortar. What is this? Keksy, you didn't see the screen. That was really important for you to see what happened. You had to see the screen. It's very important.

I want you to watch one more time. Okay. Collapsing. Sing your face. You sound like the flood. Maybe I am. Maybe it's me. I've been the flood the whole time.

Guys, bad news. Turns out we've been doing a podcast with the flood. Yeah. What are you going to do? I'm waiting at sometimes. I'm gonna infect all you. The flood from Halo 4 is the most insane sounding

shit ever heard in my life. It's pretty rough. Because they are so aggressive. It's like a gargling whale or something. My comedy's always it's like horses and pot on watery popcorn put together. Yeah, I know you mean.

Sometimes straight up. I'm going to butt fuck the president with a mortar. Gay actor Rosebud Delicious. Master Chief's War Criminal Cocks. Sorry I can't Sorry I can't. I had a burrito. Personally, I care less about the stories

about stories after finding out they take place inside a Mario 64 painting. Stupid. That is dumb as fuck. Heath reminded me of a Yu-Gi-Oh card. Gids,

the real Kingston who went missing in 2005. The Big Dick Randy coming after Sween this year. Hard hat, Pee-Pee. John Otto, take him to the Matthews Bridge.

Oh, fucking rip Sam Rivers the basis of the limb biscuit. motherfucker was 48. Oh, yeah, that happened. Oh, what the fuck, really? Yeah, people are speculating because he had some liver issues years ago and maybe it caught up. He's 48 now? Was he six when Limbiscuit was popping? 18, I think.

I think he joined Limbiscuit when he was 18. That's crazy. That's a long time. Yeah. Well, he's dead now. Yeah, he's dead as fuck. Sorry, Limbiscuit. He's limp. Sweetie should wear up.

I'm watching Halo 4. watching Halo Reach gameplay, right? Why? I used to be able to play as elites. And it makes me so sad. Were you trying to find the flood sounds? Yeah. How about don't?

I'm gonna. How about you pay attention to the show that we're doing? Yeah. Yeah. But I can, yeah. I like how you were about to say I can mental task and realize that that would have been a lie. So you stopped yourself. Yeah, you see what I did.

I didn't lie, Chris. Isn't that interesting? Isn't that interesting? You can just make it. it funny and then it's good. Gay Nye the butt sex guy. Gay the butt sex guy. That's Sight. Gay, gay, gay.

Gay, gay. He's just thrusting behind another dude. Yeah, just 9 inch males. I love that. Nine inch males is good. That's good. That sounds classical. That sounds like my dick into penis. By the dick that creams.

That'd be, I can do some 9 inch. Nine-inch males covers. I can do that. Yeah, you, yeah, Kaysen was doing Papa Roach. Yeah, he started doing Papa Roach. It's kind of crazy. That would be, that would be, what, like Papa Chode, I guess? Yeah.

Papa Strokes, it would be Papa Strokes. There's probably some... There's probably some good ones on the people are pretty clever. While you're reading, I'm gonna look up a couple. Cox and Strokes. That's, well, I mean, maybe. Oh, man, I'm getting distracted by cool memes. It's in the sand.

Shaming... Shaming Ops? Did you all hear that? The EA Sports is in the sand is pretty nuts. It is crazy. I think he's had it for a couple weeks now. It's pretty outrageous. Shaming ops until they're deranged and drooling.

Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing. whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together? It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.

Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building, hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature.

Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, auraida, silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy.

drive up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. You suck 16 dongs. What do you get? Another gay orgy and covered in sweat. Gay Peter. Wait, what is that?

Oh, that's the company store, right? That's the old. Yeah, you suck 16 dongs and what do you get? Another gay orgy and covered in sweat. Gay Peter, don't you call me because I can't blow. That sounds like that. is a no song. Oh, it might be, it might be actually,

it actually probably is straight up based on that song, because that's like, I sold my soul to the company store. Yeah, that is probably X's and O's. Oh, here's one. Papa's throat. Papa's throat. Golf, golf clap for that.

Sweet, real sween in the, in sewer imposter, what the fuck? Real sween in sewer imposter died in Costa Rica, make robot imposter swing. Punctuation is so important. A million beers. A million billion beers.

I'm sorry. Can you guys share the propeller hat? We got a really wide one, I guess. Yeah, that'd be cool. Department of Horror. Imagine if PT got a full release and had the same ending as Limbo and Lost, as Limbo of the Lost with the whole cast singing together. It took it in my bottom.

Now I'm queer. Put it in their bottom. Now the whole team fucking. queer started yeah i know i know i was trying to think what is that what is that okay i was too i was i was like what the i've seen enough victor whim when wimbenyama is the goat i don't know i don't that motherfucker's a freak dude he seven foot five now and you can do everything i don't like how good he is at dribbling i really don't like how basically how freaky everybody can spit on themselves yeah yeah that's how freakishly big he is holy shit

I hate you. He shouldn't be moving like that. He's he's good everywhere. It's just it shouldn't be that way. Everyone who was 7.5 was a bumbling fool. Like they all sucked. Like if you're at height, they're uncoordinated. They were just big men that can just dunk over everybody. But he can do everything. I ain't got no idea. Yeah. I don't know if he has the power right now. But other than that, he's, he's fucking, he's fucking, dude, he's. Right now I don't see any holes in his game. That's the thing. that's crazy. He's looking good. What's up?

What was? I'm not going to remember. I feel like you, me and I blind were riffing in the Discord a couple days ago, and I feel like there was something funny that happened, but I can't remember.

Never forget Chris, hear me out statement about jury. I don't know what you're talking about. Jury from a shoe fighter. You said that you got, you said you get it. You said the feet thing when it comes to her. Never said, never said that.

You said that. It's on stream, actually. Prove it. All right, well. Yeah. You've been a good politician. Like there's like footage of you like like dead to write you like prove it. Yeah, prove it.

There is footage. There is footage of this, but it's not real. And then people. That's what they were doing about that Nazi shit because another one came out. There's like another leak. Oh, the Nazi group chat? Yeah. So there was like another one that came out or something.

And then another one. Yeah, there was another thing that happened. And yeah, it was like one of the messages was like, yeah, I have a Nazi streak. I'm not going to lie. Yeah. It was one of them. Some fucking guy that was like straight up. straight up and uh yeah so they some people are like no but it's fake and i'm like bro that's what i

actually i made i literally wrote an anti-fascist song because of this i was like bro and then that that flag that had the swastika in the background that dude or i was just like oh is that real yeah that looked i was looking really closely at that and it looked photoshop but i didn't i didn't check yeah they they didn't um nobody it was just another like uh unless somebody i haven't seen anything to say that it's been proven to be false i've seen people say that but But again, it's crazy. It's hard to tell. But like, the fact that it's even remotely believable is like, you know, it's not even

out of pocket. It's like, um, do you see what happened to that guy, Graham Blatner or whatever? He had that, that tattoo. Um, he's like running in Maine or something. He has that like that Nazi tattoo that he even knows a Nazi tattoo. Yeah. Yeah. To be fair, I didn't even recognize it.

I have never seen that tattoo in my life. Yeah, I don't. I got to be honest. I got to be honest. That style of now I get it just like everything else. The Nazis. It was around. I did some research on it.

It was around before the Nazis popularized it, but again, they popularized it. And so that means if you get it now, you're retarded. You know, like. Yeah, but also, like it is one of the, like I saw like the thing. It was like a Toten cough, I think is what it's called. It's like a skull and crossbones. But I looked at it and I saw that.

I remember seeing the tattoo that people were talking about. I'm like, that looks like a punk band logo or something. Like it didn't even register to me as like, I have straight up never seen that image in my life. I hadn't either. because there's way more popular shit than Nazis usually get. But that guy also, I guess he had some kind of iffy texts back in the day. So some people are kind of like, oh, this guy seemed like he was kind of weird, maybe.

And he was like, I'm not that fucking person anymore. And if that is true, I'm fine with people being rehabilitated. I'm fine with that. Yeah, me too. I do think the timing's weird for it because he said he always wanted to get a tattoo covered up. He kind of waited until it became a problem. That kind of doesn't gel with me very well. where I'm like you could have gotten it covered at any point.

You're like, oh, oops, let me do it. I'm like, ah, that's, that's, that's a little weird. That is kind of a lose, lose situation in fairness, though. Because if you just left it, it would be like, what the fuck are you doing? I don't know. Yeah, it's just like more of like, don't tell me that you've been meaning to get it covered up because why the fuck didn't you do it? Essentially is all I'm saying. Right.

And also, why would you get it covered up if you didn't think of, you know what I mean? Right. I guess you might look at it as like it kind of cringe because it's a little edgy. and you're kind of like older and you're like, ah, this is kind of a cringe tattoo to have, I guess. I don't know, whatever. Anyway, cock, cheese, crumbs. If you don't eat pussy from the back, you're not hungry enough.

Goon devil. It's real shit. Goon devil. I've been starving. I'm starving. I'm always starving. I'm starving. I'm very, very starved.

I'm actually hungry in real life. Oh, Derek. In for poor. Yeah. Is are you, are you like by yourself right now? Yeah, she's, she's, she's been gone for like three weeks now or some shit. Is it at the point now where you miss her? You're like, I'd rather have her back now.

Being, yeah, Sonia's fat fucking girl cock. Being real, yes. I, I very much miss my wife. It's, it's, it's gay. I hate that. Look at this nerd missing. I hate that. That means me.

Like I, I, I, I, for like the first, like, hour or two, I'm like, I'm happy Lily's gone. And like an hour six, I'm like, an hour six. I'm like, Okay, hours? That's kind of I'm, I don't give a shit about, we haven't,

we haven't had like a prolonged period of like us being separated since like, since you moved there. Hold on, wait a minute, hold on. That's interesting

because I don't care about anything you're saying right now. That's interesting. I'm gonna mute you. I'm gonna mute you. I'm gonna mute for everybody. For the rest of the show. I'm reading the names,

but like it just doesn't come through. You wonder why we keep calling you gay while you're speaking? You're like, what are they doing? Goon devil the man without com Swine has true sight, that's why he can see his dad Sonia's fat fucking girl cog

Most stable UE5 game is Sonic Racing Crossworld Notice his bulge Bulges, oh whoa, what's this? Sween called me an accurate slur on Twitter Smitchie the kid Bend my dick come in or snatch Robo Swino Vision the black midget rapper from ghetto boys is dead

I don't know, I don't even know what that is. Black midget rapper from ghetto boys is dead It's just like it just sounds so disrespectful for to say it that way. Yeah. You've boiled this man down to such, like, that's depressing the way you've described this man.

Damn, it feels good to be dead. Damn, it feels good to be black midget and dead. It feels good to be a dead black midget. Hamster and a sock, now plus five after extensive use. Performing the Battalion de San Patricio in Venezuela for the Latinas. I just straight up don't even know what that is Ush Lilly D Was it like a jet like a trans Philly D

Yeah I guess Yeah I want to see that I would love that That'd be so cool If only the trans agenda could take him And we could see what would happen We need to get our trans fans to get them Hey the trans person with the big dick

Shove it in the Philly D's mouth And it'll awaken up It'll wake it'll wake it'll wake it'll wake it I do not. It's like a zombie bite, you know, but like it works a same way. It's like a zombie bite. I forgot.

I see you phantom necromanter. Craig the Canadian, the beating shall continue until morale improves. It's your boy, Shawnee D. Game shot coming. TM changed your name, Chris. No.

At Grock, is this true? The bubonic plague actually did come from China, La Malle. Well, I don't know, whatever. Whatever.

I am not going to fact. I'm not going to fact track that, but I will stand behind that. statement 100% yeah it did actually it did come from china well look at that I'm just trying not to be racist man they had they've got beaten up enough because of the china virus you know what I mean yeah the kung flu that I forgot about that the kung flu that was crazy the con I definitely tweeted that a lot from my other accounts but that's crazy for my other I hate how clever that is it's like so it's not it's it's not bad it's at the same time it's stupid as fuck but also it works so well

It does. Marie Antoinette be like, counting or not counting peasant, counting or not counting peasant revolts. Oh, come on. Sweene, would you rather go to Disney World? Did you see the hitman video of being like somebody? Oh, I think I did.

Or it's like some ex hitman like talking about. No, no, no, no. This is actually from the video game. They basically put the thing in a mission and it's like the fast. And it has like the loading. mission after you've completed. It was, I saw that earlier this morning.

I think we were talking about, like I saw a video weeks ago. Actually, I think before the Charlie Kirk thing where it was like, it just popped on my feed. I think, because I was getting really into Hitman. I was like,

I was like, I was playing through these missions and I was realizing like, I'm into this, but I have no clue what's happening. And so I was just looking up lore videos. And it came up in the feed where it's like, real life X hitman reviews hitman levels or whatever. And it was just like him going,

like that's a good hit i would do that same thing i would do it exactly like i'm like and then there's there's ones where like allegedly but then there's one where he like he's moving the body or whatever because you have to hide the bodies and hitman he's like see i wouldn't do that you're getting dna all over i'm like you leave the body where it is you don't touch nothing uh it's kind of wild like i i understand that you know people are rehabilitated or whatever like there's that there's that famous guy from the mafia who like ratted everybody out and he does interviews all the time but it's funny that there are people walking around they're just like yeah I've killed like

a hundred people you know what I mean and they're just like yeah exonerated like I don't really understand have you ever talked to like special forces niggas that ones that are active work and doing special forces oh yeah they get well sure I I'm fine talking to they get a pass

I understand that but that's like military a lot of them a lot of them feel really bad about it too like eventually after they leave and they go back and decide because my well that's why they're insane that's why they're going crazy and killing themselves because they feel hard. One of my uncles, he was, uh, he did special forces. He wasn't, I don't think he was hyperactive, but he, he, he definitely put people to sleep, I think.

And like, he talked about like, yeah, I could have, like, I was there for like no reason that was my choice. You misunderstood Kingston. Your, your uncle smoked weed called special forces. That's crazy. And then he was talking about what he saw while he was fucking points out of his mind. He was like, yeah. I was in fucking Kuwait and like I was just, I was just fighting women. I was just fighting.

That's like when people say like, oh, my uncle, my uncle, yeah, my uncle died in Vietnam. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing. whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.

It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building, things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?

There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com

slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, Oiraida, Silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more.

Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy. drive up and go pick up or delivery restrictions apply see website for full terms and conditions and it was like yeah 2006 2006 like oh I didn't know what's still happening that's a long ass

he just fell off a ladder on vacation in like Vietnam or whatever and it's like but he's like but people say like oh he died in Vietnam he died in Vietnam it's really crazy how many people with my family join the military after my grandfather you said crazy again did I say crazy

We were talking in Discord a couple days ago, and I was talking about Andrew Cuomo, and he was like, he said Cuomo is crazy. And I was like, I understand why. You're, I mean, clearly. I think you've been talking to too many babies. What's going on with you? I don't speak to my nephews in baby talk. Okay. I don't.

I speak to them like people. Oh, sure. I'm like, hey, small Spanish nigger. What are you doing? Oh, yeah. That's what you say? You crazy, Quinkston? I'm gonna teach my nephew to say that.

I'm gonna make my nephew start saying the N-word a lot. Good idea. Really good. He's really white-looking. Sween, would you rather go to Disney with King Dad or watch a Lily Cheat on you with a handful of Beatles? King Die. Let's make it happen.

Let's make it out. Let's get King Dad out of you. No, just get him out here. He would hate it so much. He would. He would probably. Went to the stupid dumb gay idiot convention and everyone there knew you. Drip M.H. Lord of all drips.

Kingston is usually right about things. He's just terrible at articulating his opinions. Well, that would make him wrong. That's not how that works. If you're right without any ability to communicate that that's true, it's fundamentally incorrect. Chris, mathematically, if you're right about something but you can't articulate, you're still right. You just need to prove your work, which will help further your point, but you'd still be right. Which would mean you're the wrong person for the job, which would ultimately still mean you're wrong.

No. No, there's no job. It's no job. job is to communicate a fact. You know what, man. My gun, you know, my gun had a better opinion to everybody in this room. I was going to say, facts.

You know, and my gun's got a pretty good opinion. Facts, I like that. And I'll place it. I'll place it on so it's forehead. That's crazy. The enriched uranium rod that I just snapped in half in my pockets right now

has a really different opinion on what you're saying. Oh. You know, like, what do you mean? We're all going to die at 12 weeks. You see some guy, see some guy in the corner. You see some guy in the corner. You only see the back of his head, but you're like,

you see him like, he just grabs his head instantly. His head just like, oh, he's like really sensitive. Driv M.H. Lord of all drip. Kaysen is, I read that already. All ice agents fumbled a Latina in their past, probably.

Obie won't you blow me, Kremlin to Gremlin. When will I get a buff sexy sween, work out more? Chris is in the top five Wiggers of all time. The 12 gays of Christmas. Derek Humor be like, instead of Mass Effect, it's called Mass Erect, and Shepard's Dick was out making everyone uncomfortable. Mass erect is it old. Mass erect is it old. That's the classic one, yeah, for sure.

Yeah, Mass Effect. So I'm looking at the most dense metal, osmium. Yeah. Why? Wait, why? It popped in my head for some fucking reason. I don't remember, because I remember wanting to own some. You know, it's crazy. That's what Colossus is made of. Yeah, that's why he has a little bit of a bluish tint to him. Oh, he should. There's like a little bluish tint because a little bluish on Osmium. It makes sense.

Little blue. Yeah, little blue. Little blue. Three boys, one, three boys, one, you who. Wageleigh 583. Pippini Brothers presents Crash Course Cybertron. History Rise of Decepticons. Don Thongdancerson, Homeless, Chris.

Christopher Rip, Repos. Repos. Repos. M.T.M.H. is short for Mason the Metalhead. I see. P.P. Did I seriously Mandela affect myself

into having distinct memories of Derek making several Omega videos? You might have. People do, I mean, they're, because there's, do you really think I was doing that? Maybe,

I mean, they're, dude, I mean, Francesca Ramsey was convinced that Idubs was me. Oh. So like, I don't,

I, I don't, I don't, it doesn't surprise me that that happens with people. Yeah, I, because I specifically, I went on Omega one time

for some sort of milestone of subscribers and I was wearing the Miles Morales mask and I had my guitar I don't know if that video still exists. I have no fucking idea. Yeah. I don't even know. I guess

subscribers special. I'd have to look. I don't know. I wonder if we still have it. Do it. Anyway, Elypsis F.A.N. Or fan. On God, I'm pegging Nightwing. The JK and J.K. and J.K. Rowling is short for gigantic Kunt. John Strickland. Merx 1889. I saw two homeless people fucking on the street today.

People is in quotes, by the way. The first church of Keith David soon hosting their own solo episode. Bring back Gabby, please, just once. Just Spartan, Pre-Raz Blake 8, 96. I got Lockjaw doing graveyard chefs at the dick-sucking factory. All I got was Lockjaw was previously mentioned. Coming in my hands and clapping at the young Republicans meeting. Fumbled a batty making a snark tank reference.

Rosa Parks wrestling a bus on Monday Night Raw. Oh my God, I saw that. It bothered me so much. Oh, yeah, yeah. Is that like a story thing? Yeah, I shared it on, um, my friend told me about it and I shared it on Twitter. I was so disappointed. Have you guys seen all the things people were doing with Jake Paul where they're making

Jake Paul scream? Yes. He actually got mad about it. He got mad about it. I was like, oh, oh, good. Yeah, you really wanted to stop if you're going to fucking mention it, asshole. I like the dogs destroying the old man, either with like water. Yeah.

Or an explosion. Yeah, they like open. I like the dogs that open their mouths and it's just like a stream of like, I don't know, water or something. I saw one where he just straight up blows up and then the guy flies like 20 feet back. It's all very, where a cat has a gun. Where a cat has a gun and they start shooting a door to him. He's like, give me that.

Stop shooting that. It's all very stupid. Like it's the premises that are funny. It just bothers me that this is what it takes to get them. Right. Gas Gupy, gaze in chains, swallowing come again. Same old dick. it was back then. Neutrality means that you don't really care because the struggle was not even when you're out there. Also, you're gay. Young Colin going trick or treating as his own skeleton. Parantheses, he skinned himself.

Poor Peewee Colin, man. He's got too much time on his hand. We are chalk zoning such a freakish young Colin into existence somewhere in some weird reality. Puddle of gay. He plays Mega Man 2 gets up. I'm going to go do something fun. And he does something wild. Puddle of gay, blurry. Nice. Oh. Well, you shoved it in my ass. So I already did that one. It's, uh, can you fuck my ass?

I'm gay. Can you, can you, can you shove dick in my face? Um, yeah. Spray your jiz on May. Yeah. May. On me. Yeah.

Nice little backstreet boys kind of, instant kind of thing going on with that. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. It's gotta be. It's May. Tron Gary's, uh, gay. What? Tron Gayeries. Thanks, Kingston, for wishing for a new Tron movie that on a fucking monkeys, Paul. Yeah, you got it. Gay Rees.

Yeah, awesome. Guy watching Chris's stream and eating ketchup off a plate by hand. What is this? Excel spread cheeks. Nice. I like that. Nice. I like that too. It's a good one. It's less of a hog and more of a piglet, but it gets, it still gets me off. Standing in the showers, everybody stab my heart out. What is that? That's crazy. Hey, look, it's a little gay meme. Fuck me in my ass.

I get it. It's the theme song. Sorry, Ms. Jackson. Who's New York, Nick? Ethereum needs help lowering his weapon in Halo 3 Pro Jury and Hunter, Naferam and rounding out our list as always. King of haphazard. Thank you all for watching.

Remember, go to Patreon.com slash a snark tank to support the show. Write in, early access, add free. Exclusive episodes. All of that. We'll be back in person next episode. So we'll, uh, we'll see it. Want to earn extra income for your business? Amazon Hub delivery is looking for ambitious business owners to assist with local deliveries.

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Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, Oiraida, Silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meats, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions.