The Snark Tank - #370 Real-Time Cutscenes

Episode Date: November 4, 2025

https://www.patreon.com/TheSnarkTank

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Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Hey, silence. Hey, everybody, welcome to StarTang Podcast. It's me, Chris. It's him, Derek. It's him, Swaney. Look at him over there. He's got a green screen behind him. Edit him in... In Kitar. In Qatar?

Yeah. Yeah, in Qatar. It's called Cutter, isn't it now or something? I'm sorry, what? I've heard... I've heard... I've heard some yuppies call it Cutter. Yeah. What do you mean? Nobody told me.

You can't change the name of places like that, right? It sounds like one of those things... I can't... I don't even have an example, actually. You didn't even finish the first idea before you undercut yourself. I was like, I'm sure that there's... There is an example of somebody taking the actual proper name and turning it into like a quick, like, you know, like a slang. So they can pronounce it faster.

And then I immediately was like, I have no examples in my brain right now. I know exactly what you mean because I'm sure that's also real. Yeah. I cannot also think of an example. But yes, I kept seeing like people, I think because of the jet, when Trump accepted the jet as a gift, which is totally fine. The, a lot of people were calling it, he took a jet, he accepted a jet from Qatar. And I'm like, what the fuck is cutter? And I looked at the headlines and it was like, oh, it's Qatar?

Is that I pronouncing it now? It feels weird. Like I just didn't, I didn't get the memo. Yeah. And everybody seemed to understand this at once, you know? Yeah. Like at the same time. I got a mass evolution here.

Like, I didn't know this was happening. I didn't get that memo. It was going to be a new thing. Yeah, like no one fucking told me. You know what kind of reminds me of when I was young, I was told it. It's the opposite. I was told saying Hiroshima is wrong. Like you're supposed to say Hiroshima.

It's Hiroshima. But it's obviously, once you understand like different languages and you know how like their vowels and how their sounds work, you're like, oh, no, it's definitely hermotion. They wouldn't say Hiroshima. That's not how that works. I say Hiroshima in passing like to other American people, but like if I, it's, it's Hiroshima. Yeah. That's the name of the phrase.

That's like, what is it, Ron Concoma in Long Island? What's that? There's a place called Ron Concoma in Long Island. How do you say it? What is? It's Ron Concoma, but I remember people saying like Ron Concoma. Roncacoma. Roncacoma?

Yeah, Ron Concoma. I've been to Rhode Island so many times. I mean, Long Island so many times. It's pretty, I mean, you wouldn't, it's, who the fuck cares about anything in Rhode Island? Or Long Island. I went to the Hamptons a few times. I've never been to the Hamptons. It sucks.

It sucks. I'm like it's cool if you are like very rich I have no concept of horse I have no concept of what the Hamptoms is the beach front thing Yeah it's a beach front area It's like where a bunch of wealthy people go Once upon a time

I think it's not even that wealthy anymore I know like how New York is impacted It's probably like oh Yeah well Especially we got a Terrorist that's about to destroy Dude So I saw this last night

And I tweeted about it But I tweeted about it way too late I tweeted about like 3 a.m Because I was So I deleted it but so Cuomo ran this ad this AI ad of like it's like I'm just Did you see it? No dude oh god

I'm just the bill Yeah I'm on and then it shows Zoron is driving up on a fucking Zamboni basically Uh Just leaving it It's just this horrible AI ad about how he's going to destroy everything And he's like according to Jat GPT Zoron was going to do this

And then an iPhone 4S walks on on the screen is like It's true And it's it's it is so bad, but the big thing about it that kills me is that it's an AI generated ad. It clearly took like 10 minutes, maybe maximum to generate all of it. Maybe they put in light editing to get some audio underneath. But like, at the end of it, it said paid for by Cuomo for New York City. I'm like, you bought this?

Why didn't you just do it? It's AI. You didn't have to pay an artist. You didn't have to like commission anybody. This was a prompt. You could have done this. He doesn't know. No, but that's what's so funny about it.

It's like some old motherfucker who's like, I'm in New York City. I'm running for mayor. I'm surrounded by art. Like, artists are literally never more than like one mile away from you in that city, probably. You know? Nothing's a mile away. I feel like. No one wants to help you.

No one wants to help you. You've got to do AI ads. And you're so financially illiterate that you're like, yeah, I'll pay for this. Just generate it. It's free. The funniest is. It's so crazy. The funniest thing I saw under that is that someone was like, at Grock,

can you name an explicit detail all the sexual harassment charges that Cuobo had? It was like, man, geez. And I was like, dude, it's a lot. I mean, when you get into the dozens, it's your, the ad is so great. Once you're past, I don't know, one, you're tripping. What's crazy? Literally. What's really crazy?

That's the bar. Yeah, that is the bar. Once you get to double digit, it's like burn him. Like, you're, there's no way you're fucking innocent if you've passed. three I was going to say five but three I would say three I would say three is crazy I think the three strikes things sometimes works in like instances like that because it's like two okay maybe there's a plot to destroy you but also that calls into question why do people want to destroy you exactly like there's other there's a question of that but still I'll give some people the benefit of doubt maybe depending on who it is three it doesn't matter who it is I'm like bro come on they these people these women live in separate locations they don't know each other these people never met each other they couldn't have met each other man A woman. Man woman and a dog. What a dog?

And it's like, what the for? It wrote it out. Cuomo raped me. What's crazy about it is that it's edited so fucking weird. It's the bill from the Capitol Hill video. And then it's the real bill. The beginning at the beginning. And then it cuts to the AI ad.

And then the bill gets lipstick and becomes pregnant. I'm not making this up. I swear to. God. Why? I don't know. Because Cuomo was like, I want the bill to be pregnant, I guess. I'm like, I can't.

Can I rape the bill? That's a fucking sexy bill. Yeah, that's what I want to sexually harass the bill, but I can't, I can't get into it. If it's not wearing lipstick and it isn't like half pregnant. But dude, it is, look, there's the Sanboni. Isn't that crazy that it's pregnant? And it's not pregnant anymore.

What happened? It's going back at four. He probably, Cuomo snuck a gut punch in. But dude, it is... So what is his point? He's just, they're just talking shit? Or he's just, he's... Dude, look at this ending of like, I'm...

Look at this ending. I apologize for the, for the video listeners. Go look this up. If you search Cuomo AI ad, you'll find it. Although it's not even the only one he's done. That's right. But... Hello, hello.

I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director. through a research, Jake M. Beta, we discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff?

Yes. building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton?

By 2029. will build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points.

Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, or aida, silk, Capricon, Bavarian meat, and Charmin, then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Wow.

Paid for my Cuomo for NYC. He paid for this. What makes it crazy. This guy wants to be in charge of where the funds for the city go. And then he's paying for AI ads. I can't get over it. I can't get over it. He spent so much.

He spent so much money in time trying to go after Zaron. Well, it's because of the fact that there are people he's got to pay back. Yeah, that's all. He's got to pay back people. The thing that bothers me about it is just like, dude, just leave. There's two actual New Yorkers running. Just like, leave it to them. Obviously, Zeran's going to win between them.

But like, what fucking, oh, my God. I hate this guy just being there, even though nobody wants him. That's what makes it crazy. He's even losing the older people's vote now. It's like, dude, just go to bed. There's Magaheads. Like, I saw this one guy. It went pretty viral.

It said MAGA for Mom Donnie. And like he was wearing that shirt. And he was like, yeah, man. He's like, he's won me over. He's got, I like his policies. I'm like, I know. I know.

I, you know, you leave it alone. It's all that. It's always that though. I'll take it. If we sit down and we talk to them, it's like, oh. It's always like, oh. But I'm like, why did you vote for this guy? Why do you have this hat on?

Because he said it first, I think. No, it's all the framing of the argument. It's like, if you, if you say like, oh, you want, do you want, do you want, do you want it so everybody gets health care? Most people would say yes. And then people, if you, but if you phrase it, like, do you want a socialist system? Yeah. People will be like, no.

Well, that's like, those are the same thing. Fucking hand out. Do you like emergency, do you like urgent care? It's like, yeah, it's pretty useful. So you think socialist implementation is good. Orgent care is not necessarily. I remember when I went to urgent care. You got to pay money.

You got to get money. I killed everybody in there, brother. I mean, I guess that's true. Absolutely got it. You ask you for insurance, and if you don't have insurance, you pay a fat-ass bill. And then sometimes... And then they rape you. What's interesting about that, though, is like, yeah, sometimes you go in there and you'll be like, yeah, I don't have insurance and they'll charge you.

But then other times, they'll give you, like, they'll give you like a crazy bill, right? It'll be like $30,000. You'll be like, I don't have insurance. And they'll be like, oh, okay, it's $200. Well, yeah. As if they acknowledge that the whole thing is bullshit. Anyway, they have actually even, even when it comes to medication, there's a medication called Paxlovid, which it fights COVID, right? So it's fairly new.

It packs up COVID, yeah. So it's fairly new. So you can get a voucher for at least the last time when I got COVID like over a year ago. I got a voucher for it because otherwise it was $1,200. I was like, yeah, suck your mother, dude. What the fuck? And then they were like, oh, just go and fill out this information online. It took like 30 seconds.

And then it's like, okay, it's free. And I'm like, oh, 1,200 and freeze a crazy fucking spectrum. Their son, that's crazy. I never took anything for COVID. I just kind of suffered until it was better. Oh, yeah. They have that story about the overturned truck full of monkeys that got loose. Jordan sent that to me.

Did he? What, really? Yeah. So there was a truck transporting a bunch of monkeys with like syphilis and AIDS and like COVID. Hepatitis. Down syndrome. They were in and they. Viruses sick illis then.

Well, you can catch that. You can't prove it. Who's the most... If someone digs in your head and picks something out, then maybe. Who's playing the World Series right now, the pitchers? Any of the pictures? I know, like, any of the... I know Shota, Tommy.

Is he a pitcher? I don't know. It doesn't matter. Just one of these famous pictures right now, they actually were employed and they were throwing viruses at the monkeys. That's true. To make sure that they really take.

Yeah. Show hey. Showing, Othami. 90 fucking miles an hour and fucking just like a handful of virus. That's a lot of virus when you can actually physically. see it? Yeah. It's actually more than we can conceptualize if you're holding on to virus.

Is that every virus in the fucking world probably? Every virus. No, maybe. Yes. No. All right. So viruses are microscopic, right? Clearly. I would imagine, right? Yeah. Or to the effect that they might as well be. Yeah. But surely, but surely there's an amount that you'd be able like to see

At a certain point At a certain point If you just collected it You would finally be able to see it Yeah like that must be true right I don't know because That feels that feels right But also insane

Do you see sperm in a bucket of cum? Do you actually see the individual sperm? If you could if you could dilute If you could clear all the cum And make it very clear You could see all the sperm swimming around probably Like if it was all very clear semen You could see the cum

This is a very educational podcast I think you probably I think he's probably I don't even like I'm not even joke. I think you might be right. If it was somehow all the sperm was inside this bottle of water, you'd be able to see all the sperm. So like you take away all the semen. Oh, and then you just... The color, at least for the semen. I mean, the color is mostly... Because the color of the semen is what probably makes so you can't see it. Do you think we just haven't

looked closely enough at cum? If you stare, if you stare... I feel like we have. Like, the leading cum officials have definitely done it. Well, they have, but yeah, but we have it. We have to... I have not no. I'm not really staring at come. We have to conduct this experiment. So next time, one shot in the eye so you can really examine it. I've definitely come in, I've definitely come in women's eyes and they never said they saw my cum, so. Oh, well, they're probably screaming so you didn't have time to ask them. Shut up, wait.

Do you see anything? We'll listen. Their eyes open. Star Tank podcast, Patreon.com slash the Star Tank. Remember, go over there. Early, early access, ad-free access, exclusive episodes. We just did a, we just did a, uh, a home, a home, a home. Halloween

little music video for the night before Christmas. Is that up, up or no? What time is it? So I was going to drop it right after we were done.

All right. Because I want to give time for the other part. I was trying to think I was like, which you gotta do first? Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know. Official podcast because people are paying for this, whatever. No, for sure. Yeah. So we've got,

we've got that time. I listened to it late last night. I got the, the email that we always get, which is this video has been demonized Yeah, like they're like, you're not making any fucking money. And I was like, oh, we uploaded.

And I saw that it was the, it was the, sorry I was do it. It was like, it's the dumbest shit. Yeah. I'm actually, but I'm really upset. Why are we demonetized though? There's none derogatory there. Well, this one was copyright. Well, first of all.

Oh, yeah. It was copyright immediate. And it wasn't even one of the ones where it's like sometimes they'll, there's different tiers. Sometimes there'll be all share revenue or something. This one was just cannot be monetized. Like, I was like, oh, but I was like, fuck you. So I disputed it because even though I were I'm sure whoever controls is going to reject it.

Yeah. And then it's there for. But yeah, it was, it was funny because I was trying to figure out how to transition into the last part. And I just gave up. I just thought I thought it would be funny if I just did it without any smooth check. Because I was literally thinking of devices. I'm like, how do I do this smoothie? Should I?

And I was like, no, no, it just needs to like just go in this go to the next part. It is. It's dumb. Because it is dumb, and that's the thing. Why am I thinking too? I'm thinking too much about this. I am a little disappointed, and this was also my laziness. I accidentally cut out a part that I wanted to keep in because there was a part where you laughed, where you like succumb in my hair and you laugh.

And I kept that in on top of the one that I did. And I was like, oh, it's great. And I accidentally, no, I somehow cut out the wrong part in the track. And I was too far into the project to be like imported again. I was like, fuck this. Well, yeah. It made me mad, though, because I was like, I thought it was, because like the, when you break the character, that's always great, you know, right?

Yeah. Fingers like dicks are coming by hair. It's too, so stupid to say. Dude, you fucking were on fire after the, after that part where all the guys then like, aren't you gay? That shit's fired. I was really happy with, aren't you gay. Dude, it's good.

That's good. If I was like, Derek can handle all of it. I want my art. Aren't you gay. That whole like, it's great You can tell like what he was like warming up And then like that whole stretch was just like Fire I was like butter

So anyway we got this is Homoweed out there if you want Also happy Halloween It is Halloween day We're recording it on Halloween It'll be up later It's Halloween for us so that's all that matters So happy Halloween to me only Yeah even though I don't really

I've celebrated up maybe nine 10 Halloween's in my life That's so weird No not 10 definitely at least like Halloween's fun I like Halloween a lot It's just I never did anything when I was younger. My grandmother never cared about Halloween. Because you were too religious or something?

I guess, maybe. You thought I Ekebott Crane was going to come molest you and take Jesus. He was near us. So, technically, yeah, it scared me. He could have made that venture. I want to watch fucking Sleepy Hollow. That would be good. Yeah, I'd fuck the Headless Horseman, but, um.

Sleepy Hollow guy. I tried. What did you say? Huh? Wait, what? What did you say? Wait, wait. I saw Christopher Walk and I was like, oh, the Headless Horseman, and I mounted him.

Did he play the Headless Horseman? Yeah. Well, how do you know? He's got to know. Hey, I know if it was Christopher Wagonernerner. It's fucking knew you're going to say that. That's insane. That's insane.

When I first saw that and I saw the fact that, like I saw the work done, like the work and it's fact that it's just, his head is still here. And it's just everything over. I was like, why would they lie to me like that? I was like, why would they lie like that? Yeah. He's, uh, he, uh, I think you see there's like two scenes where you get to see his head. Oh, well, no, he actually gets his head back at the very end. Yeah.

Because that's the old, it's funny, the only thing that he cared about. He was fucking terrorizing Sleepy Hollow. And all they had to do was just give him his head back. And he was like, oh, okay, cool. And then he like fucked off back to hell or something. He rode back off to hell. Is that all you wanted? Well, he's certainly not going to heaven, you know?

What if, why, why not? What if he was like, I'm sorry, really sorry. I don't think he can get away with terrorizing an entire village for like, I don't know, like decades. Have you seen the book? Have you read the book? No, of course. What the fuck? No, the Bible.

Like, if you say, if you say you're sorry, you mean it. Oh, I think you meant Sleepy Hollow. If you say you're sorry, you really mean it, you go upstairs. Oh, that's right. That's what I would say. I'm really sorry before I die. My mommy told me. She was just like, oh, yeah, I can kill you.

You know how mom. I just saw a Instagram. Your mom told you, I can kill you. I can kill you. I just saw an Instagram real of this fucking, you can tell this guy's from somewhere in New York where first he was doing like a tattoo bit like about tattoo artist in stores. Like when you ask for a tattoo like they get all hostile and shit. And then he was doing one about moms like moms for no reason. Just like, I brought you into this world.

I can take you the fuck out. And like, I'm going to fucking. kill you. Like, he just does these cuts. And I, I, it was funny because I remember my mom saying shit like that. And I think they got it from like Cosby because I brought you into this world. Like, yeah, shit like that. And my mom said something like, yeah, I could like kill you and I'll just ask for forgiveness. And I'm like, that's crazy. It's just that simple. It's that simple mom. And small Derek holding a teddy bear with a little dipy on. It's like, what, mother? With same tattoos and everything. Same tattoos and glasses. Super short baby shorts.

It's like the way it's like the way they do age people and always sunny where they just have them Wear wigs, but it's the same is the same is a Frank and he's like a kid but it's just fucking Danny DeVito I love that I get him I wonder I wonder how tall he was as a kid Danny DeVito he's probably taller and seven foot three has a seven your nine year old there's a possibility Because gravity shrinks the fuck out of you so yeah he definitely is shorter than he used to be maybe it was five You know maybe like like like when he was like 18 does shrink oldies that's true my grandma's So short now. I'm shrinking already, dude.

My fucking neck's fucked up and like it's getting compressed. Dude, stretch, man. Stretch. Groundwork, bro. I want to get one of those things where you hang up upside down. Oh, yeah. Like a bat. Yeah,

I want to be a bat. Have you, do you have a ring camera in your apartment? No. Or your house or whatever? No. Because like, you might want to. Because look, I know people who've gotten shorter and they think it's just like

they're, you know, they're shrinking over time. No. And my cousin actually, he had a ring camera in his bedroom. He got. order and he looked over the footage and turns out there was somebody going into his room at night and vacuum stealing. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Embatta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum

computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together? It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines.

Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this? technology. There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up. savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, or Ida, silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meats, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Like bits of his vertebrae every night.

Like with like a power vacuum. It's very elaborate. Why do he wake up? Huh? During the power vacuum. He puts like, so he puts these headphones on his victims and he blasts the sound of silence really loud. Oh, the sound of, okay.

Not the song. I mean like literally. Oh, okay. He requ-oh. It's so loud, quiet. And it's so, the quiet is so loud that it kind of, it makes it so you can't hear anything outside of the headphones, yeah. Are we going to get noise-canceling headphones that are, that works so well?

That are true noise-cancel. You get your shit. Like, you can only hear like, you're really only, because I've been in rooms that are so fucking quiet where like it's like, you're really quiet where you can like hear, you can hear your body moving. Yeah, you can hear like your blood and like your muscles kind of move. I remember hearing like my muscles like creaking like like rubbing against each other. And I was like, I don't want to be in this room no more.

It drives you crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. There's like no electromagnetic signals in there. There's no like, there's no like room tone. Why can't I hear magnetism? What's going on? Well, dude, you don't realize how, you don't realize, you don't realize how loud electricity is until you spend time in a place without it.

Or until you see a transformer blow up, which I've seen. It's insane. Yeah, like the boxes outside of a telephone post, not from the cartoon. Sam. Sam, fuck me quick. Fuck my ass, Sam. He blows up. I promise I won't hurt your dick.

It's okay. There's more. Sam, with Wiki, like, Akam is like, Sam, I need you to fuck me. so I can survive. Sam's like, I don't really want to fuck you. He's like, Sam, seriously, I'm going to die for the... Wait a second. Is Adam's Prime just fucking Nixon?

He kind of is. Right? He's like Nixon if Nixon was a good person. Sam Woodwicky. My anus is made of gold. It's that softer metal. You can do this. You can do this.

You can do this. What's the softest metal, Sam? I'll turn myself into it so you can fuck my head. I guess. Laird, maybe. I don't know. What is the softest metal? Let's look.

Let's look it up. Let's learn something. Let's learn something on this show. Yeah. Let's learn a fact. Everybody listening. Get your notebooks out. Take notes.

Better fucking. I know gold is soft. I know gold is soft. Gold is so soft that you can chew it. Um, you can also chew like. No, but like effectively. Seasium. Seasium.

Seasium. I've heard you before. Turn. I'm turning my ass into cesium. Sam with Wiki. Fuck me good. I'm not a crook I don't want to fuck you walk this

How does he sound I forgot I forgot that Sam Whitiggy was cursing guy He was imagine of curds to be English the whole time That's Samutki actually Good point Yeah Anything happen

Anything happen before we get two We're already so off the rails They replaced Megan Fox with some hot British bitch In the Transformer series That's what happened Did they really? They did, yeah. Yeah.

I guess, the third one? She wouldn't, she wouldn't, she wouldn't fuck Michael Bay anymore. And then Michael Bay was like, hey,

that's the only reason you're here. Like, come on, let's be real. That is fucking. I'm trying to fuck you and you're like, I want to be taking seriously.

He's like, get the fuck out of here. Optimus, kill her. Yeah. Got some hot British bitch that it was like, hey,

as long as you suck me off you get this fucking role. Do you think Michael Bay's apartment is always exploding? It's not. Like, Bigot Fox comes over, late at night one day to

break up with I was gonna say Matt Walsh What's his name? Michael Bay Wakes up with a Break up with Michael Bay He opens You just hear muffled explosions

To the door And Michael opens Behind him His stove is exploded It's like what do you want And they're having like a really calm discussion Well like fire and like twisted metal It's like flying around them

Like, does he own the entire building? Does he, because like, who lives? Who could put up with that? Like, God, damn, shut the fuck up. Yeah. His ex-door neighbors like, hey! Knock it off! Boom.

Boom. How many fucking bombs do you have in there? That's bullshit. Can a very powerful EMP kill somebody? I think so, actually. I think genuinely. Um, I, I, I, I can't say, but I feel like I, I don't know, it seems like that would be correct. You'd have to be like on it, though, I would, I would imagine, right?

I don't know enough about that. We learned about Cezium. Yeah. We learned about Michael Bay's exploding apartment. We did learn about that. We made that part up. How do you know? Can you prove it?

Yeah, we, I watched you do it. No, can you prove that it's not real? You can only prove that it's unlikely. I don't think it's real, but I can't, I can't, exactly. You can't dispute it, so shut the fucking. exactly fight that. What we're gonna look up? What I already forgot?

Something about, can EMP kill people? Can an EMP kill people? Yeah, can an EMP kill a man. Like if I EMP, my like one year old nephew, it would be all right. Oh no, a person cannot be directly killed by an EMP.

It has no known effect on the human body, however a strong, oh, I'm thinking a sonar. Yeah, well, duh. I'm thinking a sonar. So, sonar is obvious. It's a wave. It could fucking rattle you.

Yeah, but you think of sonar, you just think of it doesn't seem like, I don't know, in most implementations, you just think it just, Well, sonars, it can physically affect you, that's why. It'll change your DNA, Walter. However, a strong EMP could be indirectly lethal by disabling critical infrastructure. Sure, of course.

That's obvious. Yeah, you're in a fucking airplane. You get an airplane and you're like, guess what? EMP, you never starts falling. Guess what? Oh, God. When did they do the thing with the airplane mode? What is that?

When you're taking off, it can fuck up the signals of your- Can it, though? Yeah, only when you're taking off. I don't know if I buy it. I think you're thinking up. I just turn it off. You know what I don't want to risk you. I'm also terrified.

Here's the thing about it, right? Because I had my most recent flight, I had it, I had it, I didn't, I forgot to do it. Right. Yeah. Because in my opinion, like, if something was so dangerous. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata.

We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines.

Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Kondo?

By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large. lodge problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st.

Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, auraida, silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meats, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save. even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Right, that it could really drastically fuck up the plane to the point where it might be able to crash. They just simply

wouldn't let you have it. They don't let you have water. They don't let you bring liquids onto the plane. They don't let you bring all sorts of other shit. That's more of an active thing. I agree that it's like it's probably less dangerous. It's not that dangerous. If it's dangerous, what they would do is they would say we're going to everybody's phones into this box. Yeah. If I had a guess, if I had a guess it was. It's probably not the worst thing that happened, but it's still like, it's a precautionary thing for other people around you. You should just do it.

I just don't believe it. Maybe in the beginning. That's like wearing a seatbelt. It's like just do it for other people around you. No. It is, though. It's not really for anybody else. Or it's like using your fucking signals.

It's like just do it to pre-preserved other life. Why? Should I? Why? Because you don't want to harm people. I guess, well, I, most people don't want to harm people. I don't know about you. I got no issue.

With what? I'm just going to leave it there. Oh, okay. What are you looking up? I'm just seeing like what? Because what I imagine is that, yeah, like it, if enough people probably didn't do it, they'd probably be, hey, you fucks, you're interfering with their shit. I want to go on a plane where no one turns on airplane mode on. Yeah.

If I want to play with you, I'll be so mad. I'm like, oh, my fucking God, you killed me, you rat fuck. You killed me. You killed me. Oh, man. I want to open a lot. door one day.

I just want to yank it open. Is it easy to do? Not at all. It's purposely not easy. I would imagine it's purposely not easy,

but like there's something about it that feels easy. You know, it's a big red handle. Oh yeah, because there's a door. That's why it's easy. Yeah.

Yeah, it would be crazy. It would be crazy if it was easy because then like how many fucking weirdos would just do it. Yeah.

Like 100%. 100%. 100%. You know, you know it's crazy that you know that it's that way because people have

done that. Yes. 100%. Like, I'm freaking out. And then they open the plane. I got to go. I got to go. Please don't do that.

And then it opens it. Tail spins into the Atlantic. I think there should be like a disclaimer. Something that you sign that you, you know, we have the authority to knock people out that are like freaking out. You know what I mean?

Because like if they're like, you legally can actually. If someone's like really tripping unless I think that the controller can, but like. No, there were the marshals on the plane. You should be able to chloroform somebody if they're freaking out on a plane. Yeah. I just want to grab them and choke.

I think you should like build a box cutter. You can box cutter them. You can also take your shirt off and... Both those are so barbaric. Hold on. Box curving on your head, you know. Box cutter as a verb is crazy. You used to be able to box cutter. You used to be able to box cutter.

Use your box cutter for him. Well, listen, I don't know if... So listen, I don't know if anything really happened since we recorded last. I checked the news. Really, that Andrew Cuomo ad is the only one that I saw. Oh, did you hear about Bill de Blasio? Do you hear what happened? Bill de Blasio, what's going on with?

What do you do now? Is it old Bill DeBlozio? De Blasio, is that the right name? Bill, what are you talking about? I definitely don't know. If you're talking about Bill de Blasio, then you're correct. Yeah, well, sometimes, you know, that ain't my territory. So what do you, what is the story? So, oh, man, I can't remember which outlet try to interview him, but they interviewed a guy named Bill de Blasio that was not the Bill de Blasio. Are you serious? About Mamdani. And this guy was like, oh, this is hilarious. They think I'm, like, I'm just some regular guy. And so he looked up AI of like negative things to just say about a mom Dani as like a bit or something.

So they got these quotes of like they think in the interview the real one. And he's like, what the fuck I didn't say to that shit? Oh yeah, Bill de Blasio on imposter who duped newspaper with momdani attack. What? Wait, Bill de Blasio imposter. This is fucking fascinating. I did not hear about this at all. Yeah, it's, people are so stupid.

Yeah, 21 hours ago. So it's pretty, it's relatively. being a journalist that fucking shitty. Like, you're not even, you can't even verify. Like, you just, you can't even verify an identity, bro. You just called whichever one. Times of London, duped by Bill de Blasio and Pazer. Oh, so it was a British newspaper.

Fucking poor bastards, dude. That's awesome. What? Wait a minute. I'm so confused. That is so fascinating, dude. British people fucking suck, bro. Those niggas controlled the world once in a lot of time.

That's crazy, bro. It scares me, though, man. punk-ass old Jamaicans. We took too long to get rid of them, bro. God damn. It scares me, though. Like, you know, they had their time in the sun. You know, the sunset was never going to set on the British Empire.

It clearly did. And that's obviously, like, where we're at now. So I'll let's like, fuck, this sucks. Well, that's fine. If we end up the way they are right now, that's, well, no, that'd be bad. Well, it's clearly going to be China. I mean, like, what are we doing? Oh, yeah.

No, we're, we're, we've already lost to them. Yeah. I think our president, Kermberg has solidified like, oh, it's, it's cool. It was already in the, it was already kind of in the bag, but like now it's like to play the long game, man. You're going to start, you know, Shao Hong Shu, you know? I'm with it. I think it's like, it's like, we don't want to play ball. And it's like, well, awesome.

You know how I knew that it was going to, that was going to be this way? When I played Destiny, there was a lot of Chinese and Russian in there. Ah. Yeah, there was in the Cosmodrome. There was a lot of Chinese. I'm like, oh, it's like, there's no. Yeah, that's the future. In the way we won't.

Speaking of Chinese is and whatever, Asian type of speak. Right. Do you hear that sound effects that gone viral recently where it's like, fa, va, oh yeah. Yeah. That was a good impression of it.

So I thought it was probably from like an anime or something. That's a black dude. I was like, what the fuck? I never looked into it. Yeah. I follow the guy that did it. Okay.

Yeah. Like, what's his name again? Like can't ever got his name. He's a little muscular black dude with drool. I found him yesterday when I looked into it because I was like, what the fuck? I was listening to, um, uh, legend of winning. and then he used it and I was like

what is that? And yeah so this fucking dude he actually said fuck F-A-W-K But the That's what I figured it was I didn't know I just said what the fuck is that

I keep hearing it So me it sounded like some like a anime like fah you know like so I thought it was something like that And it would make sense Of course these kids watch anime It probably went viral No it's just some fucking guy

That fucking phrase Dude there's one There's that Then there's a one where someone gets hurt and there's a drawn picture of Jesse Pickman and he's like screaming it's like from the show where he gets

I forget where he gets hurt really bad he's like he's fucking wailing and I have that fucking sound literally saved and every time something really bad happens to somebody goes Lily you have it saved yeah pull it up yeah remember the last time he had something saved and it took him like

yeah he said he had a picture of me saved or something yeah they didn't have it was the of you it was the picture of him that should be on the scumbag I think. Oh, right. And then you were like, oh, I got you as, I got as your contact photo

and then you didn't. Really? The scumbag one? I don't remember it, but it's possible. Right. I was like it was supposed to be my con,

that's right. Yeah. That's what it was. God damn, I wouldn't fucking remember anything. Ah! We did that scumbag thing.

Completely forgot. Yeah, I keep forgetting too. Uh, but I did not see the bill the Blasio. Like, that is hilarious. Dude, it's, that is a dream.

That is a dream to be able to do something like that. There was a similar thing. It was happening. too something really cool is happening there you go sorry it's really cool something really cool is happening snap benefits and for a bunch of americans tomorrow isn't that sick isn't that awesome karee we do it's really fun dude i love how many people are going to suffer for no reason you know the only thing that's uh about that that i've been it is so fucking sad because i just been trying to watch bullshit on instagram yeah me too garbage and then every once in a while

somebody that I follow is like, oh, go to like, food drive.org or something. I'm like, God, damn it. Stop making me feel bad. Like, all these, people are donating to all these food drive things. I'm like, I'm like, I can't fucking believe

this is happening. Yeah, I mean, I'm trying to watch somebody get killed or something. Like, come on. It's annoying, man, because like, I think I'm going to go to soup kitchen and not what you call it and work out there. You know what the thing that's thought about it?

I thought about it. I thought about it. That's not a bad idea. Yeah. The only thing that bothers me is that, like, it's annoying because, like, one of my favorite past times, personally, is just buying a lot of food and letting it expire in my fridge. And so, like, now it's like people are just looking at me weird. That's a real, like, a thing you have to understand as an adult is like, hey, buying the appropriate amount of groceries. No, I'm saying I don't, I buy a lot on purpose knowing that it's going to be.

It's a sport. I like having a lot in my fridge knowing that I could eat it, but I never want it. Why? What do you mean? It's a sport. It's a hobby. Yeah, it's a good. It's, it's, it's, it's my hobby.

Like, I don't judge you for collecting funcopes or whatever it is that you fucking collect. I don't collect fungal pop anymore. Any more. Any more. All the fungal pops I have were gifts. Yes. I never, I never bought one. I bought two.

About two of them. Maybe I bought one. I think I have one that's like a gift. I think I bought a tally one. No, it was more than two. Of course I bought tally. Not my friends, because one of my friends had a huge collection of them. He gave me, he gave me two.

Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research Jake Embatta, we discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM Research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.

Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right?

My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2020. will build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway.

It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, Oira Ida, Silk, Capri-San, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go-pick-up or delivery. Restrictions apply.

See website for full terms and conditions. And then I bought Miles and Old Superior Spider-Man. I bought those two. So those are ones I bought. All right, yeah. And then maybe Genji? Have you ever played the ready or not? Oh, that game?

Yeah. No, I've been meaning to check it out. I just, it's too much shit to play right now. Yeah. But I've heard, like, yeah, it's like, it's like a first person kind of like SWAT game, but it's got a,

it's like about actual, like, dark shit. Yeah, I guess it's like actually, yeah. There's a, there's a scene that I was hoping maybe somebody played it here, but I don't know if this is real, because the internet's getting fucking stupid. Yeah. Did you find the sound of it? Did you find this?

No, but I found this. Well, don't... Yeah, I'm in the middle of something. Stop. That's crazy. Turn it off. Get out of here. It's funny.

Notice, by the way, didn't have it again. I didn't have it saved. Why do you pretend to save things? I had it. I thought I haven't saved. I have a lot of things saved. I might have it. Save this buried under a bunch of bullshit.

You know, this is functionally kind of the same thing as like when, uh, it's like if everybody's information got stolen, you know? Yeah. It would essentially be like no one's information got stolen because there would be so much of it that sifting through it to find a specific person would be basically impossible. That's what you have. You've saved so much that you've ostensibly saved nothing.

There's a really funny image. It's a really funny image of the new street fighter game where there's a character called Luke where he comes out in a points. Yeah. But it's him saying me N-word at somebody. And I add that. And I can't find it now. And I'm so upset.

It sounds like it should be easy to find. Not the video. It's a proper video of it opposed to like being like a like a snippet of something and I'm trying to find a real video of it and I can't find it. And I keep asking our friend to find it. Let you know if that's real? This is a sound effect.

So this is like one of the like I think one of the hostels that you take out and I don't know if this is acting for the game and yeah and if the voice actor is just having a fucking blast well listen to this guy die. Is that a human that got shot? Yeah it's a person yeah it's a guy. It's probably like a pedophile or something

that game's crazy. And I was like, is that because that doesn't sound like it was imposed into it like I was like did they really just leave that in there hold I let me go buy that game real quick such a guttural sound that just sold me on it that is a crazy speaking

of sounds of games I showed Lily the fallout alien oh she could not believe it she's like was it time slowed down I was like yeah so imagine how fast he said it how fast he asked he asked I actually said it.

That's a good point. I actually hadn't considered. I hadn't considered the speed at which he said it. That's a good point. They can perceive time differently. So he knew he was going to die. He was like, oh, I'm just going to fling this out. I'm just going to say it.

I'm going to flake this out. Dude, that alien involved saying the N-word is such a magnificent. I just, it's so crazy that it's real. I don't know who a voice lie they did. I don't know what, like, I just don't know what led to that. But it's magic that it all coalesced it to that. It is magic. Oh, man.

Shout out to, shout out to humanity. sometimes, man. Yeah. That's the kind of thing that happens when, you know, there's not a fine tooth comb going over everything

to make sure nothing can be problematic. Because it's clearly not saying the word. But like, it is. It's not really. It isn't, but it's like,

yeah. It's like the fucking, what is it, uh, Laurel, Yanny kind of thing. You remember that thing? That was like the audio version

of like, oh, is the dress black or blue? Oh, yeah, it's like, are you hearing Laurel or Yanny? I was like,

it's, it's, it's neither, probably but yeah i don't know if i ever participated in that loroy annie one i heard it i don't remember what i thought i didn't sound like either of them to me so i was like i don't give a shit the dress one was interesting though to me the dress one was frustrating to me because i remember i saw both of them i at different points yeah i could see what people were talking about but i was like it's clearly a black and blue dress like the entire time i was me unfortunately i was i was

i predominantly saw white and gold but i heard that it was officially black and blue or whatever yeah and i saw both i remember i remember i remember i remember I remember putting it away and looking back at it. It was like, oh, it does look like white and gold. But I remember being like, oh, I know why it looks like white and gold. That light is fucking crazy. Yeah. But, yeah.

Oh, well. All the people behind that thing, by the way, died. Like in general? They're gone. They did die in a Michael Bay explosion. Yeah, they died in his apartment. That's crazy. Yeah.

He's like, hey, look at his blue dress. And then he just threw dynamite in their face. Not even dynamite. He just threw water. But everything in his apartment explodes. I'm sorry. right, he had water in a case of dynamite. That's right,

that's a cup. That's why I got consumed. All of his things are dynamite themed is the thing, you know? That's kind of the issue. I like the idea of like there's like it's like a real time cut scene where all this chaos is going on but his life is still going on. That's exactly what is in my head.

Did you send me that video of the guy that from from cyberpunk where the dude's like, hey, don't shoot him, right? And he shoots him one of the explosive guns and a guy's egg is blowed off. And then Panam's like, are you okay? And he turns out of like, yeah, I'm fine. And all of this part of his head is missing.

His head is gone, like, it's con. Where is this? What video is this? Let me, I'll pull it up. Yeah, pull it up. I was like, what the dog? It's so like, there's the hostage and then you're like, oh, you saved my live V and then he dies. It's so funny.

Well, yeah, I did. Anyway, what? Probably nothing else, right? We can probably just move on the questions, I guess. They're not making a sequel to that game, right? Or they are. What game? CyrePunk?

I'm sure they are. Oh, they have. It would be insane if they did. Yeah, that would be crazy. After the success. After the way it landed, eventually, after the way it finally landed. They fixed it up in a way that they earned it. Yeah.

You know. If it turned out to be something like mundane, kind of like, oh, this was fun. Like Starfield. Like it was like, oh, this is fun. But like, I'm probably not going to play it again. Yeah. You know, then, of course. But this is, I think about it every once in a while.

It's kind of crazy. That show, dude, they did that a good job where they put that damn show on everybody. It's like, let's finish this game. You were like, oh, this game's cool. This is a really cool city. The thing that bugs me about Starfield is that there are parts of that game that I want to play, but I don't want to play the whole part, the whole thing, you know? Yeah. There's parts of it that I vibe with a lot, and then there's other parts of it that I'm like, hmm.

You know what my biggest problem is? I, it's an issue, it's an issue of me of a finesse issue where I do, like, when I'm doing the space battles, I do shit on accident or war that upsets like the U.S. and whatever, the space cops or whatever. And then there's parts that I can't go to without being harassed. And I'm like, fuck. And it's just. It's a dumb system. I want to, like, just go and, and I'm trying to, like, go fast and sometimes, but I fuck up. And then all of a sudden I'm...

Yeah. I'm in a place where I'm like, these people are trying to blow me off. It's a very inelioring a game in a lot of ways. Are they... So the next thing I think is to do is the next next elder scrolls, right? Yeah, Elder Scrolls is next. Although Fallout, I mean, I don't know. I mean, if I were them, I'd be commissioning Fallout games.

It would make more sense. If I were them, I'd be like, Yel Obsidian. Stop with your outer worlds. Stop it. I like Outer Worlds, by the way, but I would just tell him be like, listen, just do a fall on New Vegas again. That would be a lot smarter. Like, you do this. You know?

Yeah, while we were going on other thing. Well, we work on Elder Scrolls. Because, like, Fallah's big right now, man, you know? People like it. Fallah 76 is actually in a good place I heard. It's crazy. It's got me curious about it. But, um...

I only, I just haven't turned it on. I played it on launch day for Sacred. And I remember being like, huh. This is bad. And I expected it to be bad in fairness. Like, I was, you could feel the war. morning signs going up to it. It was like, eh, this isn't, you know, there was, like, I think there was, like, a review embargo that

was, like, really close and, like, uh, just the telltale signs of when things aren't really necessarily hitting. But I remember playing it and being like, damn, this is like, it's like not, it's not, it's not irredeemable. Like, there's, there's really, like, this is really bare. It feels like the pre-alpha of a fall game that's not even really, you know, done, you know, um, and also, I don't know. I know the other scrolls so bad. I wonder where it's going to be. Yeah.

I hope it's in a Kashit home. Ew, why? Because I love killing Kashis. That's so you could just do that in a normal. I love murdering Kashit. It's hilarious. I love it. They're like, this one thinks you have money.

And I'm like, oh, really? And I cut his head off. I do want to do. It was so mean. It would be nice to play. No, Zazago, fuck. Zazago single-handedly made me racist to them. It would be nice.

Kill you over and over again. Yeah, but that's not all of them Oh what? Really? It's not all about that they were all Dezago. Did I have a glitch? I mean, because she was named Dezago. I got it.

That game, by the way, is going to be like 2028, 27 or something. Yeah, not. Earliest. It's going to be 2028. And I'm also worried because it's, are they just going to, are they just going to give a Skyrim again, but not in fucking Skyrim? Or are they going to actually try to, like, do something? What do you think they're going to do?

They're going to give. Here's what you're going to get. You're going to get Skyrim again. But just did, like, with dirt. That's going to be better, probably. Oh, probably in the Redigard area. Not a dead already. They didn't go with a Hammerfell or whatever.

Is that where they are? I think they're in Hammerfell. I think they're in Hammerfell, yeah. Maybe, I don't know. It's been too long. I can't remember. I think they're from there. They announced that game six years ago.

Correct me if I'm wrong. Huh? They announced that game six years ago. I remember. Oh, no. Wait, wasn't it? 2019 or 2020. Yeah, when they, uh, it was immediately after fallout, uh,

fallout, or just before, fallout 706? They have shot the bed, I think. Because they were like, we want, hey, we're making single player stuff. This is an experiment. We're not going to just make multiplayer stuff forever. We're just trying something out.

But, uh, take us out. Hold on. Before you move on. Oh, no, go ahead. What is it? Are you all right? Just some scratches.

Yo. You need anything? Thanks for saving my ass fee. That's a crazy. He died. He dies afterwards? That is insane. His face is

I have to put that on the camera That is so nuts They're not going to be able to hear it But like whatever Holy shit Dude You can restart it again If you want

It's fine That is crazy That is insane That is insane I fucking love video games Man That and red dead Are like that

A little two games You can see like that happen. Oh, those guys are missing. The original Halo games do that too because they do in-engine cutscenes. They don't have like gore or whatever, but like you could like, you could splatter. Like I remember specifically like getting vehicles where they shouldn't be.

Yeah. And so like, uh, act like characters in the middle of cutscenes would spawn like on vehicles. And so they would, oh, they would immediately die while the cutscenes still going on. It's good stuff. Do you see the one, um, in Red Dead two where guys, he gets the wagon full of oil. He brings it into the, he shoots it so the oil is. trailing, which is fucking crazy physics in the game. It's amazing.

Yeah, he shoot it so the oil's trailing, so then he puts it in the barn. Where, like, right before the cutscene barn, he shoots it, so the fire ignites. And so the fire's trailing, and he's parking into the barn with the guys like, oh, thanks very much. They're talking. It's so fucking funny. Such a well-designed game. Those engine of that and, like, even RA5, right, like, not a five, GTA-5. Like, that game's engine is insane.

You see Spider-Man beating the piss out of Franklin in it? cut scene. And he's fucking about bad. Like he's so funny. Is it relative to GTA world or is it like insomniac Spider-Man really getting it on with Franklin? It's basically

like that. It's like an insomniac. It doesn't look like the insomniac version if I remember correctly, but he's beating him bad. He's awesome, man. I love that. He's really out there boogeying with Franklin. Franklin. Franklin is taking on the fight. He's like, I'm

to fight this guy and everybody's like frankly maybe not listen we're gonna move on we're gonna move on to our some questions from our patrons over at patreon.com slash a snark tank remember you can go over there writing your questions give us a story or two you know remember to like share subscribe comment all that crap hello hello i'm malcolm glabwell host of smart talks with ibn i recently spoke with i bm's new director of research jake mbata

we discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before.

Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very, very. large, large problem.

To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley,

international delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. I don't like saying that shit

because it feels stupid, but like, uh-huh. It does work. Ye. Derek's Asian neighbor who was afraid of him. Oh yeah. Road in.

Good times. He says, Hey, guys. Sorry again, Derek, for being afraid of you for being black. True. It's true, though. Anyways,

uh, if you were tasked, to make a no nut November abstinence style challenge for every month, what would you choose? Every month? I'm going to say any month. We can pick a month. Like, every month is crazy. We're going to be here for a while.

What month would you choose? Oh, yes. I got it. For example, no Judaism January for Jewish people. No Fred Durs February and no Derek December. These are all contenders. No autistic August. No Autist August?

Yeah. What would that be exactly? You can't partake in anything that an autistic person partakes in. Yeah. That's everything, though, probably. The tropes. The trope. Yeah, but what you can do is you can constantly reorganize your room.

You could, you could change minor details. You could constantly, that would be. They hate that. They hate when anything's are reorganized. I'm confused as to what this. You're just doing things that you know would bother them actively. Okay, so you're actually amplifying. Yeah.

It would be like the reverse of what the question is. So exactly the wrong answer. You want to trigger autistic people. This would be always not November is what you're suggesting. No, no, no, no. It would be particularly fine autistic people, ingratiate yourself with them and then constantly trigger them. Right. So it's not no.

I don't think you understand what abstinence is. No, no, no. I don't say what abstinence is, but it's the idea of how do you abstain for autistic people. You know what this is like when the director is dealing with the actor and he's like, just stick to the script. And it's like, but the director, I could do so much more. It's like, I didn't hire you to do more. I have an idea. I have an idea.

It's like, how about you, shut the fuck up? Action. I thought you read the words that I wrote because I wrote it. And that's what the premise of a movie. You don't even have to, this is a dream job for you. You get to just do shit. You don't even have to think about any of this. Dude, it really is.

I wrote all of it. You're sitting on ass for most of the day. Yeah. You're just sitting. Especially in the culture in America. where the A-List actors get these decked-out fucking trailers where in other countries, it was much more like how background actors are.

We're all chilling together. We're all just like fucking tense or whatever. It's amazing. Amazing having that fucking job. But I mean, it's kind of, yeah, if you're in the industry at all, it's kind of nice. I think this monologue will be better than what you wrote.

You know, I can have a problem with this. I'm like, well, you know, I'm interesting. Open hand slaps them. I have a budget. So we can't waste fucking time on this. I didn't hire you for this. It's crazy how much money movies cost, man. It's like, dang, these are, these are expensive.

It really is crazy. That's what terrifies me about AI because clearly the companies to cut all those costs are going to just put crap out. And you're already seeing commercials like that. You're seeing commercials. You're seeing, dude, the shows on the streaming stuff is basically going to be AI in a few years because having original fucking slop is better than I was

seeing how much it cost. For five years it cost Netflix $500 million to license Seinfeld. Yeah. So instead of paying half a billy, they're like, oh, how about we just make stupid fucking bullshit that you know you're only halfway paying attention to anyway? Because that's how they're making shows now toward like, oh, these people are scrolling on their phones

and having something on in the background. So it doesn't even matter what it is. Charge them more. So 2499 a month, Netflix is going to be a few years. Yeah. And then our budget is zero because it's just like doing AI prompts. I think it's, uh, it's really depressing.

I hate it. We were too hard on the young Sheldons, you know? At least they were actually doing something. Yeah. I mean, even a bunch of people making shit. Who's the right?

You, you were usually hard on young sheldon. I'm talking about culturally. What are you saying like people don't? What are you? Are you alive? It's really popular. It's really popular somehow.

It's like people dunk on it to not get made fun of for liking it. It's like that was part of it. It is a, yeah, it's dumb. I love Sheldon. It is, It is a commentary on, I would say, the climate of the world that that was like the number one show after for a while, the Big Bang Theory. I will say it is a representation.

I should say more than like commentary. I'm like, oh, this is the cream of the crop? Okay. Dude, people love that show. I watched that two episodes of Lily. Lily likes that show and her cousins all like. And I was watching it with them. And I swear I didn't laugh once.

Which one? Big Bang Theory. Yeah, I mean, there's one moment. There's one moment that is funny in that show now, admit it. I'm sure guys driving Out of all the seasons There have to be a handful of funny moments Right?

It's like the Friends thing With like the them trying to get the couch up Up the stairs I think it's a funny little interaction Yeah I think friends is funny But it's not for everybody I think it's very for like young

20 somethings I remember in the 90s specifically I remember enough funny moments from friends It definitely is I never rewashed it again Like it's been on Netflix And I don't care Could I be any more drowned in my hot tub Holy shit?

that was crazy whoa oh man that stunned me forgot about the fucking I should remember the thumbnail I used

when he died it's that oh it's so the fucking fountain spinning up water that like it's like translucent

that thumbnail is crazy that's fucking that's so disrespectful holy shit all right so no um okay so

so so so ex out. So you would be Accelerate Autism. Yeah. No, I guess August.

Abstained Autist August, August, where I just would not interact autistic people. That's crazy. I'd be really boring. It's the opposite of what you said. Yeah,

but I'm revised. Revision. Good, good, good. Revision. I would say no phone February. I know it's a pH, but I think it counts phonetically. Now,

I know what a lot of people are going to be saying. Like, so, like, oh, you want social media to stop because it's February. Isn't it, isn't it coincidental? that that's Black History Month.

That's not necessarily what I mean. Necessarily. Not necessarily. It's just the only PHF month. So you would say it's not... If there was FAPRil, you know, I would have chosen... FAPR. I would have chosen FAPR.

April. Or October or something, you know? I would have... You know, it's just so happens that February and phone is... I just want to be clear. I know the allegations are going to come, you know? It's not about Black History Month, I promise. So I got two things going on.

So no asshole April Okay But here's so this is this is the deal So you don't shit these are no anal sex or April Here's the deal You can't interact with anuses at all So yeah no shitting No no no eating out

No fucking propology Nothing And then also you can't be a dickhead So you can't be an asshole either So people are gonna like that half of it We're like oh everybody's gonna be nice But also you're gonna have to hold your shit for a month Which is gonna make everybody mean probably

Because everybody's gonna be irritable We're just gonna really test everybody And kill many Hey we're gonna going to find out, because I bet there's like all these medications that nobody takes to people that have normal bowel movements. What's the long, what's the record do you think? The record's probably like holding, probably like a couple of months or something.

I'm sure you'll die, though. There's a guy. There's a producer named any that works for your mom's house podcast that regularly he used to like for two weeks. That was, that was his average holding his shit for two weeks. That's not good for. And he went, I think he went one time for almost an entire month. Hello, hello.

I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbeta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need a

have a legacy of building stuff, building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?

There will come a point when it will mature. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point? with quantum. By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Sechrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online.

Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select. Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Yeah. For him, and then, you know, some people have, everyone's different. His was so extreme that it's like, all right, something's definitely fucking wrong with you.

And he said, though, he had a traumatic. moment one time when he was a kid so that's probably you know it is because some people like oh they go like three times three times up or sorry sorry like twice a week or some shit and I'm like to me that's pushing it right how do you shit how I don't know how you I just how some people's systems are man eating food I just how some people's systems are like I it sounds crazy at me I date a girl one time of the shit every day literally it's well you have the you have the because of how it takes like what eight hours on average for food to digest that you have the

ability to shit, but doesn't mean that you have to. You know what I mean? So, look, I guess I just have a weaker spring. I just like, I have to shit. It's not a week. I think your system works properly. Like, say me, the idea of constipation is foreign to me. You know,

like, I don't get constipated. I'm just like lucky where I shit usually once or twice a day. No constipation. And I don't drink that much water, which is crazy. I'm fucking, I'm an idiot. And I'll watch fucking Jojo with the five gallon thing and like just, and then I'll just have like, you know?

And like, oh, that's enough. Now give me, fucking fool. Like a espresso. It's like an espresso shot of water. Do I, I knew a kid who never stopped shitting. Catholic school. He just shot himself all day. His fucking seat was a toilet.

He just, they had to bring a toilet into the classroom. No, he had like this crazy system, man, like where he just, he, it was, you ever see a fish shit and it's like a string? Yeah, a little string of shit. He figured out how to do that, basically. So he just made it so, like, it was always happening, but it was always like a really thin kind of strand. Yeah. And he would brag about it. We kept telling him it wasn't really that cool.

It was weird, but... See, if I was God, I would make a shit now. He's died. Oh, poor bastard. Poor stringy shit bastard. Yeah. We should, you know, I think, like, if intelligent design was a thing, we would, like, well, first of all, we would shit at all. But if we had to shit, no matter what, it would be, like, rabbit shit.

You'd have to, right? Well, if it's intelligent design, you can do whatever you want. You literally could just make a little rule. could just make, yeah, you don't even need energy to live, you know, it could just be whatever. It can be like a fucking video game where it says, we just exist. Yeah, like the fucking Tardagrades or whatever, where you're just like, I mean,

those things are crazy. That shit's insane. That shit doesn't even make sense to me. No. Tartagate Goulda again? Tartagres are like, the water. Yeah, the water's like, the water. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, things like... Yeah, they're surviving space and shit. Yeah, yeah, they're surviving space and I think they can, you can, you can drive them out to like a, like, 99% to the point where they're like, they're a crusty thing. So you put water, like, like, a drop of water on them and then they're just back life is normal let's go insane I recommend everybody like do some research

on tardigrade it's fucking interesting it's uh man it you know there'll be how like whatever life exists go on to the next place it becomes I know's it's very clearly be like it's that's how we got here man some weird shit like that that's the theory that makes low it here like something landed here and it was like I we can work with this out

yeah it just fucking it just made it to where we are now better than the other we lost all the cool builds we got we had all the cool perks of being those little dumb retard and now we're like oh We have global warming. I choose to believe the bullshit nonsensical, like, Graham Hancock, you know, ancient civilization stuff. I choose to believe it because it's way cooler. It's a lot more satisfying, you know.

It's crazy that we could have been like, or not we, so we wouldn't have existed, but say the big asteroid don't take out the dinosaurs, they are reptilian humanoids. You know? Oh, that belief for that? Huh? Because that people would believe that, like, there was a few dinosaurs that they would have kept living, and they would have become very intelligent. I mean, they could have, if there was enough of them, if there's a couple of them left over enough for them to evolve, kind of like us. Like at a certain point, if we would have gotten wiped out in that primordial state, then we probably wouldn't have survived either, you know? Yeah. Like, we happened, we came to be after that, right? Huh? We were like post that whole thing, right? No, we were there with the, haven't you seen the Flintstones? No, I was talking about like Like, because we popped out the water afterwards, I'm pretty sure, right?

Like after that shit hit, we popped out of the water. Probably could go in the water, though. And just like, it would save us. We were there snacks, though, you know? That's true. Yeah. We got out of the water, what, like 1692 or something? Yeah, like around the Columbus, whatever, was this?

He sailed over here out the water. He was like, oh, he was the first organism. He was the first organism. That's what we celebrate. Columbus Day for being the first brokenism. Yeah, they should make a statue and the plaque it says Christopher Columbus and it's the fish with the little legs.

That's crazy. Fundamentally, like, just a complete misunderstanding. I prefer that. We have such short lifespan. It's interesting. It's like, destroy history. We can't see. Yeah, why not? Why not? But it's like, hmm, that's interesting. We've only been around for like such a short time. We're never

going to see any of the cool shit happens with humanity. On the fort, we're just not going to see it. We got a decent amount at least, if We got to see a lot of cool shit. We just, we got so many Joe Rogan comedy specials. Like, there's a bunch of people. There's, there's like, think about, think about this. Isaac Newton never saw Joe Rogan comedy special.

How sad is that? What a pussy. That's crazy. That's crazy. Nikola Tesla never saw Joe Rogan's fucking pointy nipples. Pussy, weak, sad bitch. They never got to see Joe Logan stand on a fucking stool and scream about whatever the fuck. Yeah, Nikola Tesla didn't, he didn't know about Alpha Brain.

Nicholas Sessa didn't know about, you know, all this stuff. What a fucking clown. I can't think of a less, I can't think of a less worthwhile existence. Right. And one where I didn't watch a Joe Rogan comedy special. What a stupid fucking bitch.

Anyway. Those is all of them. Anyway, those are our months. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Okay, so yeah, no phone February for social media reasons. No phonics February. No, so you can just get, no speak?

No speaking? I like that. I love that, actually. I'd love that. Yeah. A month where everything goes silent and you got to figure things out. We'd learn a lot about each other, man. Quiet, February.

Yeah, that too. Yeah. Perfect. No. Can it be silent September. Oh, yeah. I forgot about ass. What would it be?

There'd be no. February. No jumping. July. People can't jump. Oh yeah, no jump July. I can do that. Yeah, I don't think I've jumped this month at all, in fact.

Yeah. Maybe once, but uh, what is it? Obviously no Jew July is a fucking, all right, we're done. Let's go.

All right, yeah, let's move on. Let's move on. We, we, we, we,

I'm just saying that's, you know, we picked our months. We're good. Uh, what is this? Oh, okay. Walmart brand wrote in.

He says, anything you guys looking forward to you that's been perpetually in development hell Sweeney, what are your, how many of your children would you sacrifice for winds of winter? Man! I'll answer immediately because there's nothing else that I can say about it, but Splinter Cell. There's always a Splinter Cell game in development and it always gets

canceled. It always gets director. I think they just lost their director like two two weeks ago or something. It's just like, I don't even know what the fuck's going on, man. So Splinter Cell is mine. There's two, right? There's Windsor, obviously. Then there's Cotor remake. Oh yeah, Cotor. I forgot that they were even doing that. Yeah. Is that still happening?

I feel like... I feel like it is. What happened to you? This thing broke. Are you serious? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, motherfucker.

Wait, how broken is it? Is it detached? It's done. No way. That's crazy. It's done. Oh, man. I think I have an extra.

Oh, I guess I'm holding it for the remainder of the podcast. Yeah, you're going to have to hold it. That's crazy. How tight is that? I've never even seen that before. It's not even tight a thing. I just don't know how that happens. I see how it happens, but I just don't understand.

This isn't like a, this shouldn't be a breakoff point, though. That's the thing that's weird. Right. I mean, it makes it because it's the thinnest part right here. Yeah. But still, it's not, this part's not, oh. Well, we'll figure it out later. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Damn, that sucks. I got to find the box with the other fucking stand in it. Yeah. All right, hold on. Let me just make sure the audio Wait for him isn't fucking... Oh. Check one, two, check

Electric Bugaloo. I'm gay and I'm silly. I'm a silly gay boy. It looks like it's okay. It should be all right. Yeah, I just... That is crazy. Okay.

Damn, I got... That means I got to go dig through like a bunch of boxes. I know I have like another one. Oh, right. Although I wonder how that's... It's gonna work. I can figure it out.

That's nuts. Fuck a shit. Anyway, where we, so it's Woods of Winter and the Cotor. Wins of Wins of Wins of Wins of Wins of Wiener. God damn. I love a court tour game, man.

Oh, it'd be so cool as a modern game. I think that would be my answer too because I would, I really want to play that as a remake. Hey, man. Don't make fun on my stand. I want to see Darth Revin. I want to see him do his revving things, man.

I want to see him not look like shit, you know. I want to see that game not look like shit would be interesting. Yeah. you know I don't care what it looks like It had so much fun It does look like shit though It's old

It's old I love the sound quality It's fucked on it too You turn it on And it's like Brrr I'm like What the fuck is going

Why it's so loud Oh man Yeah man I want to see Bachela's pussy So yeah Oh yeah Mods would be sick Yeah

That's why they haven't done it Yeah for me For me We know you want this thing You can't have it I'm like Please Please

Give me me what I asked for. Spliss splash, I was gaping his ass, Rooden. He says, can you guys do an extra ammo running through the specifications of gangster quest? Story, mechanics, gameplay.

It would be entertaining. Plus, I'm a software engineer. I would like to use it as instruction to make an indie version of the game. That's not a bad idea. We could probably brainstorming some pretty fun. I just wonder, like, did we do this already? We gave snippets of ideas.

We can do a real, like, in-depth one. That could be a good extra ammo. Like, I don't mind that at all. I have, I mean, I have notes. I have notes. I have notes and a thing. He pulls out like a really like official. Like thick, like thick.

Like a grim war. A phone book. I ran through. I have, mostly what I have it was just like some mechanics, uh, combat abilities. And then, uh, and the plot. The plot was the thing that I had mostly worked out. But it could be, you know, it could evolve as things go along. I love the idea of a magically enchanted P90.

Like the idea that's. And they do like the whole stupid ancient forging method of it And it's like Ding And it glows of it It's like Here's a gun

Yeah Yeah That does lightning damage too And it's like what It'd be sick man It would be cool man I'd be into it It was not a bad idea

It would yeah 100% You'd have to get Keith David involved somehow Oh here That would be a fucking dream come true He'd have to be the final boss It sucks There's nothing could be better. It's like, oh, here's something, here's a dumb idea that I came up with. And then

Keith, David Bing on it would be... Anyway, there's too much. Any way to lend legitimacy like that, that level of legitimacy to such an insane idea. That would be too much, man. I feel like he'd be forward to because he's that kind of person where he's like for black expansion in general. Yeah. So he'd be like, I'd want him to probably be the, uh, damn, there's so many, I was thinking because like there is... Hello, hello, I'm Malcolm Welcome Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna. And I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business?

My one advice to them. Pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customers, service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive.

So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com slash smart talks.

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, ORAIDA, Silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meats, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings.

Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. There's a wizard that summons the people in accident. He's not a good wizard. So that's why he fucks up and sends all. He was trying to bring like a warrior that would be like a chosen person to destroy the mad king.

He brought plenty of niggies. Yeah. He brought a bunch of black people. And I like the idea. of maybe the wizard being because especially sometimes when you hear Keith David's like snarky fucking

his dialect or whatever he's speaking. I can just like hear him being that character he's powerful but he's also incompetent. Yeah. He's like I don't know how to get you back what the fuck you're talking about. Yeah yeah. Like yeah like talking to that old

fucking medieval speak to like it just it's God that would be fucking amazing. I like the idea of the character slowly eventually changing their speech being around fucking people from modern time. Starting to adopt that shit.

Ork saying nigger is crazy. Yeah, we did talk about that a little. We were talking about the fucking, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it'd be like kind of like a night at the museum kind of assimilation kind of overtime thing. Hell yeah. That's funny. Rat beef sandwich wrote in.

He says, one for Chris and Sween. For the chickens giving stuff you guys have done in the past. What dishes have you enjoyed the most? Oh yeah, it is November. Chicken. Chicken. Yeah, that's my answer. Dude, a good mac and cheese always hits.

A good mac and cheese always hits. It's really difficult to fuck that up. Lily, yeah, Lily's gotten really got to make a mac and cheese now. Yeah, I beg to differ. You always eat it. You always eat it, though. Yeah, it's delicious. It's really fucking good.

I don't know. I want some rice and peas this time. I think that's what I'm going to bring my secondary dish. Oh, fucking olive twist-ass meal. Old ass pussy. Little peas. Oh, can I have some. some greens and peas.

Can I have my greens and peas? It's technically rice and beans. I'm gonna take this niggas. I'm gonna call it. It's rice. It's a rice. It's gonna bechrella. Obitrella. It's a roast con obitrella.

That's what it is technically. If it ain't black eyed peas, I don't want no peas around me. What do you say? What? Fuck out of here. Black-eyed peas. I don't like black eyed peas not much.

You're crazy. I think they're fine. I like them that much. Those are the best peas. I don't like all their music, but. You're an American I'm a I'm a fucking American

With the southern family Exactly We don't eat fucking regular peas It's not actually peas It's black beans It's technically black Caribbean I know what you're talking about Like it's black beans

You're gonna call them peas Jamaicans call it peas They're technically candoulas Right gotcha Is that what you're talking about? I think gondolas are what you call it though Like lima beans more Sort of

No They're like black beans To me I'm sorry I don't like lime of beans I've had some bomb Lama beans I'm not.

Maybe they're like, maybe they're my least. They're my least favorite. My favorite is the red kidney beans, dude. Those are my favorite beans. But yeah. That's the like if you're making stewed beans. Steat beans.

The other area of stewing it. A pento is undefined. I don't really stew anything. That's the Puerto Rican's way to make it. You stew it with the, maybe I do. Maybe I just never called it that.

Yeah. It's stewed. It's fucking good, man. Oh my God. I miss Caribbean food really badly. Dude, there's a, there's a place that opened up

across the street from my high school where they only speak Spanish. Like you can't order in English. Like they don't fucking... Maybe you can, but like it's... I've never heard anybody there to speak English. It is so fucking good. It's unreal how good it is.

I'm so mad. You get the pork, they get the like the hard skin that you can ask for. They cut it up. They fuck it. They got an entire fridge full of Arizona's. It's like Taylor made for me. I miss Benil.

That's how crazy is. And I don't even like pork. That's crazy, dude. I miss Benile. That's fucking crazy, dude. Well, you would like Benile if you had it. No, I've had it before. Well, I just don't like it.

If you miss it, then you like it, my guy. I can't think of like, oh, man, I really miss diarrhea, you know? I miss having food that season that way. It makes me sad. Yeah. That I'm the only person that uses a dobo in a generousity of me, you know? And it's like, well, thanks. At least you can, you know, do it at home.

That's true. That's true. I really. You can get the same exact ingredient. You can get it shipped, though, I guess. Because I can't get exactly the same shit. easily anymore. Like, I have to get, usually, like, there's some things where it's like, I got to get that

from Amazon or whatever. Yeah. It's because of the fact that the, the, the Hispanic section here is all Mexican, yeah. Mexican. It's, our space section is like, like, it's Caribbean backward from technically. It's not Hispanic. Right. But it's like, sure.

But trying to find, like, the stuff for the cookie, though is like, is hell because it's like, getting the right kinds of rum. Because I got to get the right, the right, I can't find the right rum. I can't find the right cream of coconut. I always have to get it from like, you know, whole, like, what do you call wholesale places? some shit. Yeah, yeah. But, um, I'm excited for Thanksgiving, man. That's my favorite holiday. I fucking love Thanksgiving. I love it. It's my holiday. Thanksgiving food sucks. What? Turkey sucks. But that's not that's not what stuffing is fine, but whatever. I like

stuffing. That's not, that's not how I celebrate Thanksgiving for the like all of my holiday. So you're just like, like, like, meeting up like and having like a function with a lot of food. That function, a lot of food. Uh, clearly some bullshit's about to happen. That's, that we ride the night out way too long. We're up way too late, hanging out, doing dumb shit. It's always a good time. It's just good food. Good food. We never do turkey. I don't think my family does turkey, I guess. Like, for family stuff. But like, since I've been out here and I've done it with friends, I, we've,

I don't think we've ever done with a turkey because turkey's not that good, really. It's not even bad. Is it that it, to cook it well, it takes way too much energy. It's a very tedious process. And like, what you get isn't real. Like, look, I have a nostalgia for, I'm nostalgic. I'm a nostalgic, three times keeping moist. Too big of a fucking hurt. I'm nostalgic for a Thanksgiving turkey, you know? Because I do remember like you get the wing and it's got like a crispy like I appreciate it. But like it's more of like a vibe. Yeah.

Than it is like a good meal. It's tradition, man. Yeah. But like yeah, it's people fuck up the turkeys all the time. Except for the only good turkey I had was when somebody smoked it to smoke. Smoked everything. That's a different animal though. Yeah.

And also takes like six, seven hours to cook. It takes longer than that. I would eat smoke. It's at least like 12 hours. I'm sorry. What did you say? You're cooking that shit since fucking the day before for a turkey. Well, I didn't even hear what happened.

No, and I don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. What do you say? You don't need to know. Christopher, what do you say? I think everything is, uh, everything smoked is delicious. Okay, good way, good way to answer that and say the truth without admitting what you just said exactly.

I said I would eat smoked cum if I could. I would eat smoked. I would eat smoked anything. I was smoke cheese. If you put a craft single in a smoker, I probably, I mean, a smoke piece of cheese coming out. I bet it would be fucking.

Hey, dude, let me tell you something. Smoke Gouda. It's fucking delicious. Like, something about smoke, man. It's, I love it. It's great.

So I said fire on. To smoke that. Applewood is very good. Applewood smoke bacon? Oh, man. I don't know what makes it apple wood exactly. From apple trees, I think. The word from apple tree.

What do you? Oh, I see. I see. That makes. That makes more sense. I thought they made the bacon out of the apple wood. I was, I was like,

I'm not biting on this. I was like, I'm not biting on this at all. I didn't even know what it wasn't. God, I want freaking things I'm going to be here already. Yeah. I just don't want to deal with the stress

of having to cook, dude. Yeah, I don't know what I'm going to do if I'm going to go down to Arizona or my mom or have her come up here. I'm not sure. I have to decide whether I'm going to be.

Being with the, dude, being, having like southern extended family, dealing with the cooking meat, bro, they, American food is so fucking good.

That's why, like, when I people are like, oh, Italian food dishes, I'm like, I'm like, Italian food is good. It's not for Thanksgiving. I think, I think when it comes to the cuisine for everybody, like, Macon cheese for the pasta, sure, but. Maggotis is not really Italian food, but I know, but, like, you know what I mean? It's like a pasta dish. It's like, you know, it's too clean for me, like, when you compare it to, like,

Southern food because Southern food is just fucking. It's not good for you, but it tastes. That's why I taste. That's unbelievable, though. It's like, this is the best. Like, when I, My cousin He passed recently

His gravy in meatballs It's He doesn't drain So when you cook the meatballs He doesn't drain the fucking The fat from the ground beef And the fat is just swimming in the gravy And you're like oh my God

I'm gonna die Yeah But it's so good Because I've been taught my entire life To drain the fucking The oil Because you don't want to die Early

Right yeah But like also you're like God damn So good There's a You ever been to Portillo's? I think so, actually, yeah. There's pretty much only one, I think, in SoCal by the Bunapark Mall.

Yeah. And they have this Italian beef sub. Now, the thing is, it comes with the gravy, the Oju. Don't get it. I haven't heard of Oju in so long, goddamn. Don't get the, they call it gravy because it's Italian. The Italians call everything fucking gravy. So don't get it on the same.

You get an Italian beef with mozzarella dry. Get the gravy on the side. So when you get home, then you fucking just dip it in that. this dude the fucking aujou it's you know you leave it alone for fucking 10 minutes it just turns into like solid you're just drinking grease but it's so

it's the best oh jute like I've tried to get au jues at other different places get the the french dip nah it not the portillo's is nothing is even close to it I was like why doesn't it any fucking sound it's everything it tastes like piss compared to it

it's crazy this piss it's not it's piss This is peepy This is peepy I got to figure out if I'm going to go home For Thanksgiving I think I might I think I might purely Because I have to find

Ever excuse to go back there To get my snaples Oh I got until December There's got to be A place That imports them Pretty close by no

I don't know man Probably It takes like maybe half an hour Studying Dude there used to be a place called my Mexican pantry That would take goods From Mexico

And they were like Be close by Like a warehouse it's gone because I used to get the original Doritos 3Ds like they had like you never had the 3D Doritos

I don't remember them They were like duitos puffed Yeah they're like puffy You wouldn't even call They're not even fucking 3D They're just just puffy It's just Oh I never had these

These were they were fucking bomb bro Were they? Yeah they were That makes sense There's something about like air pocket Kind of snacks They're delicious That are like there's something

There's something added to it With the air Buy them They still sell them in Mexico So you can still Some people on eBay Would sell them or whatever For a while

It's just a few years ago They brought them back During the Super Bowl And then I was pissed Because I didn't save one Because I knew they were gonna take it away again The first thing that they did though They had two new flavors

And I was like fuck you Nacho cheese That shit so The Nauter's one So I remember I can remember the taste Somewhat still That's how long

I had it like maybe Long on 20 years ago now. Me, it's, no, it's, uh, I would say... Is there still Mountain Dew Code Red? Is that still a thing? Or do they get rid of it? I don't think it's there.

I haven't seen it. Mountain Dew Black was crazy for a period of time too. That shit fucking threw me off. But I, dang, there's so many good foods once upon the time. But I'm sure they all caused like cancer. So yeah. Yeah, of course. I'm sure they all caused like cancer or some shit.

Yeah, it's, it's, um... Do you guys remember Pepsi blue? Yeah. Barely, yeah. That shit, I'm pretty sure I took it. Years off my life drinking that shit. I drank maybe two or three and I was like, I feel different. My freshman year, I kept buying them.

And then like, I was like, after a while I was like, I have to, I know this can't be good for me. I don't drink regular soda anymore. It's been so long. And I'm like, oh, man, I miss that shit. Yeah, I bought a 12 pack of Sprite once this year just because it was on sale. It was like five bucks or something. And I was like, oh, it seems like a good deal. And then I was there because I don't really drink soda anymore.

I drink poppies and shit. Oh, right. Those are pretty fucking good. Lily likes the cranberry one for some fucking reason. I've never had it. And I'm like, nigger, this is, this is this. I tell her, I'm like, yo, my nigger. What is wrong with you?

Spin her face? Nah, I don't spin her in her face. That's a little too far. It's a little too far. I guess. She stole my queen. I can't do that to her. I guess whatever.

I still call her nigger a lot. A lot. Fucking dirty niggas. You don't remember you going. You're a Mexican nigger. You know that it. Relax. Jesus Christ.

Do you remember you going on, Malboja? You dirty niggas. It's like years ago. That was you. Oh, Benassus. I thought it was you. Benassus, the Greek god of the herb wrote in. He's got a Liberty Rock radio profile picture, which I appreciate.

Nice. Oh, nice. Garth of Thought of Four. Classic. He says, you ever find yourself struggling to deal with the way men are portrayed in society? Never. Never.

Struddle? I'm having an argument with this girl I'm dating She thinks it's okay to say slash do X, Y, Z to men Because they're the oppressor group But to me, treating someone differently based on the way they were bored Is nothing else but big of it I know, I get what you mean, but like I don't know there's two truths there

I would need more specifics about this conversation It's the X, Y, Z I need to know about that Yeah, I need it Do you mean like a siphoning money from them Like oh, oh they like how they They'll treat they they'll take you out and pay for everything And I won't do nothing Right

Like that shit like that. Because I know women like that. Sure. That's a very staple of like, oh, just get a free meal. You know exactly what the meal is for, what it implies. They're trying to, they're interested in you. They want to maybe hook up or something like that. And you know damn well that you're not going to do shit with them, yet you still take the meal.

I think that's the, I don't know. I think those two things can be true, right? What you mean? Because I think like the big problem is that we vilified. Men have been vilified heavily. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast. Smart Talks with IBM.

I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvin Krishna, and I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example. If anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service, 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers

who write software 30% more productive today, with the goal of being 70% more productive, so we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say, you can leverage what we did. We're happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process, because the biggest change is not technology. is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things.

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Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. In the more recent times. Sure, yeah. Granted, it's because of the patriarchal system by they're being vilified. It's why it's being vilified. Everybody's brain shuts off the second you say that. But still, I mean, yours does you don't care, but.

Most people don't give a shit about that. I got to tell you. You can't. It's not. The second you say a patriarchal society, like everyone's eyes rolls. But it's not men's fault why they're a part of that, you know, like a young man that exists is not perpetuate. He exists within it, but he's not perpetuating it, right? So they vilified young men for no reason, or men in general get vilified.

And then it just leads them to what we have currently, which is just like, even though it's still stupid that they went to that point, it's like, y'all kind of ushered them along that way, attacking them for no reason. Yeah, if you're like 13 or whatever and, like, most. of the articles that you see are like, you know, are antagonistic towards you and you've yet to do anything really. It doesn't bode well. And it's, it's not surprising that people have ended up where they were. I get the souring of it. I would argue it's still like, mega sensitive to, to let that kind of thing. Yes. I think absolutely true. But it's still true. It is objectively true. It is the biggest difference. And, you know, it's funny. On the way over here, I was watching a video about, um, everything up. Some guy was complaining about, uh, there's a

podcast. You have a thumbnail of the new god of war, 2018 or whatever. It says something like, my son is gay. And basically the argument they're making is that they don't like the new one because it's the pusification. Basically the dad of war thing is like a pusification of men. It's like a representation of this currency. You know, it's one of those things. And so a guy was kind of going through it. And it is a, because you keep seeing the same. tropes though it's like these people these podcasters they're getting to the young men first before a reasonable person so like somebody would come across all the articles let's say you're a straight white kid yeah and you're seeing all those articles back in 2014 that you're problematic and all

this stuff and you're probably annoyed and instead of a reasonable level headed person getting to them first and being like hey man don't like that shit bother you there's plenty of good fucking people around like it doesn't matter what they fucking say yeah fucking the andrew tates got to them first like people like that. And that's the thing where it's like... I wasn't even that era. It was... I'm saying... The Andrew Traits exacerbated. Literally, it does not need to be Andrew Tate. It's... It is the

person like Andrew Tate. I would argue the people who got to them first are the people that were... Are actually like the BuzzFeed. Because that was my experience in college. I remember. I remember this so vividly where like I held the door open for this girl. And she was like, I don't need anybody to hold the door open for me. I was like,

what the fuck is this? Right. I just thought I was being courteous. Right. And then like, Little things like that. So you would get like these weird like antagonists antagonists. Yeah, but what I'm saying. And then those people. No, but what I'm saying is.

The problem is that you were done cooking already though. Your brain space was kind of done like I know what's right and wrong already. Well, that's what I mean. They didn't have that yet. I know what you said. Now they don't have that. But that's the exact. That's the exact train that I was going through like say you're saying they're saying this.

But like the other thing was the people were reading the articles. You're having a negative experience of people being hostile. stole or saying hostile things like that like holding the door open and then they say something fucked up to you and then the opportunist came along and whispered to you yeah those bitches suck man you should

blah blah blah instead of a reasonable person be like yeah fuck that bitch I think age is the biggest key a key factor for that I think it's genuinely age and experience obviously I thought that but then when you look at like although there are older people that are fucking mega stupid but they're already

They're already cooking on that, though. They've already been well cooking on that. They're arrested development, dude. That's true. That's the proper phrase. It's arrested development and people grifting, obviously. The grifters that are taking advantage of those people, the arrested development. And when you're seeing these, like, I see those that bald, starfield guy, pronouns guy.

Yeah, the pronoun guy. Like that guy, he's a representation, like, the amount of views that these people get. And you're like, who the fuck is watching this shit? You know what's, there's way too. It's not just. 12 year olds because I think they're watching fucking skimity whatever the fuck's happening. You know what's really funny about it, though, is that, like, a lot of those things, like, I remember back in the day specifically, the thing that was so irritating about a lot of internet social justice people was the way that they would, and it's where the warrior part of SJW came in was like they would, they would kind of like treat themselves like I'm on the front lines. Yeah.

Like fighting. 100%. And meanwhile, they're like, you know, they're going to a liberal arts college. They're going to, they got their parents paid for their tuition. It's just very like it feels very Unserious Now I'm seeing a lot of that From the right where it's like

Oh Matt Walsh is on the front lines Of the fucking you know They've become everything Of the culture war And I'm just like you're The fact that you're taking this seriously Is exactly what was so gay Yeah

And like now it's just like dude I people There was a video Or not a video There was a picture of some girl Who was like just voted for Mom Dani And it was just like some stereotypically Like pretty girl or whatever

Um Just all these monologues. But these really self- But these really self-indulgent monologues and it was always by like some guy named like the The pondering historian or some like you know some insane shit like that. And all I can see There's this there's this image that I love that I've seen recently

of like a, it's like a soy jack. But it's like a Reddit dude and he's like He's like posed like this. Oh my God. As if it was just like a villain Like a really like self-serious lame monologue? That's cool. I think it's what gets to people, man. I think unfortunately we had we had chances. We had chances to do the right thing.

Blaming people of blaming young people is the biggest problem. That was always the problem for me. I think I've seen it already. That's way better than I thought it was. That's way better than what I was picturing. Tell me that isn't like, we've won the culture war, you know? Oh, that's good. There's a great, there's, I think I retweeted it because it was just like it killed me when I saw it was like, it was so accurate.

I really wish I was talked about more. Yeah, this. This, that asked me if it was talked about more. Yeah, so it's like, and then it's like they came for our video games. They came for our movies. Oh my God, I've heard this. They came for our TV shows and all that. They came for our freedom.

They came for our culture. They lost. And then it's underneath a photo of a, or over a photo of Trump and advances chief of Cortana. And then the response is just, it's just that image of it. Like, it really. That may be one of my. This is honestly, like this is a one image. I got to use that the trigger before.

Yeah, actually. I got to use it. Dude, it made my, the what they came for? I forgot it was syndrome. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Wow, perfect character for that, actually. Yeah, actually. Syndrome is actually a perfect character for that.

Jesus, I did, I didn't, that, that they came for was, was quote tweeted over the Trump master chief thing? Yeah, yeah. That, it's just, dude, I love. Clock strikes 12. That's a real, that was. Midnight. All right.

I can't believe those people are real. I know. What I wonder is genuinely why don't people have the conversation, this, like this exact conversation more, where no one talks about like the realness of that, where it's like, yo, like this is, because I understand, I understand. What do you mean like about how cringe inducing it is to take the, no, no, not how it's, it's showing step by step how people got to the perspectives they're at right now. And nobody cares.

Well, but I think people, but people do, people should care. People like, well, so look at, people should do a lot of things. that already think that shit is garbage would only be interested in that. Unfortunately, like the video that I was just watching about the guy shitting on the people that were sitting on God of War 2018, I'm already on that guy's side. So that's, but people who enjoy that podcast that was shitting on the dad of war, they're not going to watch that video. They're not interested.

I think the only thing, the best thing, I love that, like, that response. But in person making them feel that way, that you're a fucking. loser dude. Like, what are you doing? I don't, but I feel like, I think that is so important for people to understand that, like, that shit is only cool online. You take that shit into the world what you just said. Go to the fucking subway. Go fucking anywhere in real life and say that to somebody. They're going to be like, what the fuck are you doing? It's the fedora anime King of the sort. Like, it's that energy. It's like, what are you fucking doing? That shit ain't even cool. I wish I could find the monologue. As much, as much as I understand,

I feel like the conversation about those things is so important. To whom the To people to everyone it needs it needs to be more how are you going to get them to listen I don't think I don't I think that what happens is that you might not get the mass Listen, but you'll get some people to listen you can get and I think that'll dismay the greater Population of that perspective I don't disagree I well I disagree that part I don't disagree But it will get people it will get some of them I just I agree with that part from From deflecting over that I agree I agree with that part where I say even a little bit of activism Is better than no activism meaning that like say if you only help or or a

even a small portion of people. I think that is great. But if we're going to like try to tackle something in a way that because it's like what are these. But it shouldn't be us doing it. I think that's also another problem where it shouldn't be it should be people that truly know the nitty gritty of it. It used to be people like the way that like say the way that Kyle Kalinsky is behaving.

It needs to be people that are normal but also just being like that. And I think his title. Yeah. That's correct. The last one was nuts. He had a title on one of his recent videos where it was like Nick. Fuentes and Tucker Carlson suck and fuck each other in gayest conversation ever. Yeah.

And I was like, it is that is so, I love it. I know. So wildly antagonistic, bro. It's like, yo, suck. Like,

you didn't have to say sucks and fucks and gayest. Like, sucks and fucks with the asterisk. Yeah, with the asterisk. It's just funnier. Oh, my God.

I think it needs to be, I think the people on the proper side of things need to, I don't know. I feel like, I feel like leftism has gotten so weird where it's not even, it's not even, like, I feel like we're just like, we hate them now. Opposed us. We're like, well, let's, yes, they suck, but we have to educate these younger people. Because we lost that group. And I think that's the big problem where like there are.

Well, like, why do you think they like a lot of these people, they only care about vibes and image. Of course. They think they think they even, even when the image is completely wrong to them, they think it's this. Like, they think Trump's strong for some fucking reason when he's. weak and he's shit, you know what I mean? But what I'm saying is, like, Andrew Tate, the reason why the gravitated him, he's like, he appears to be strong. He appears to be cool.

You know, to the average person you look at him is like, oh, what a fucking goofball. This guy's trying to hard. He's a try hard. But to them, if we can get them to understand that this shit that they've been following or a bunch of fucking insecure losers that are overcompensating, if you can get them to understand that. I feel like that's step one. Understanding that, hey, try to say any of that shit that they're, you know,

telling you to a regular person in real life they're gonna beat the piss out of you or the someone's gonna call the cops on you or whatever like this ain't real. This is so horrifying man. Nick McKeeley made a render of fucking crash ermine trout. Oh, he did.

I thought, um, so disgusting. Let me, what is it? What is it? What is it? That's, I saw it last night and I was like,

what am I looking at? Like, that can't be what I'm seeing. It's me. Hey, Walt. It's me, Crash, Erbichaud. Hey, it's me. I thought he was going to be cortex, though. It's me, Crash, Herbert, well, yeah.

It was. When I started it, it was. But then he morphed into Crash. He morphed into Crash. Because all of our hypotheticals are just completely fucking incoheria. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Do do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Yeah, but my thing was Walter White was Crash. had, uh, Mike was cortex and he had the jetpack and he was like doing loops to avoid him. Right. But, uh, then out of a while. But I do, I must say, this is a lot better. I like this. First of all, I love that that is very clearly, Mike.

Like, somehow I see it and I get it. I love that he's painted orange. Yes. At first, so I, I just, it just registered to me that he's painted orange. I just thought he, like, this was a work in progress. And he wasn't done. But it's so much funnier that he's painted orange and his lips are white. It's me, Walter

It's me, Walter You're not gonna Jesse Anyway, Let's see What else we got I guess I'm cortex now I guess I'm core

I am the one who cortex I'm He's on the end on his team He's on his team Why is there is in on you Is that for N? He's Igor Yeah

Oh he's engine He's engine Oh my god That's good That's good That's good That already does it. That does the joke for itself already, though.

Wall Jr. As Engine is so weird. That's good. It fits, though. It's already there. It's only more than halfway done. I would say, well, I would say Hector's born. He has a double voice, but it's, you know, like his voice.

What? Oh, yeah, yeah. Did you go, have you ever gone back and played the old ones? The old, the old crashes? Yeah, of course. Yeah, of fucking Clancy Brown. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with our.

IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbeta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff. Yes. Building actual physical machines.

Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.

That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with fresh savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select.

Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. Clancy Brown. He's Cortex, right? I didn't fucking, I don't, I was too young to know who Clancy Brown was. Right, yeah. So I was just like, oh, what the fuck?

I didn't even know that. He was cortex in... He was either originally cortex or his cortex, like, now, or like, you know, now at the end of it. Because I remember in the first game, it was just some guy. I think it was like some guy on the staff who was like... Oh, yeah? Yeah. I would say number two, I think, if I remember correctly.

I think you're right. Yeah. That's crazy. That's crap, right? Yeah. That's Crabs. When I found that out of that fucking... Because I know him mostly from Shawshank Redemption.

That was like my thing. That's hilarious. Oh, he's the guard. He's the piece of shit guard from Shawshank. And then I'm like, that's Mr. Crabs. It is crazy. Is he still Mr. Grabs? Yeah.

I imagine. If that's still, is, is the show still going on? I don't know. I think so. They're making a movie or something. Yeah,

but I think there's no. Bro, you see that they're doing the Simpsons 2? Another Simpsons movie? Wait, what? And I'm not joking. This ain't one of those Chris jokes. Like, they're making a second Simpsons movie.

This late into the fucking career. one of those Chris Joe's, it's a lie. Yeah, it's a lie. No, I I thought I saw that, but then, like, I think I scrolled past it and I was like, that's not real. And then I just, like, kept scrolling because I was like, why would they- You fucking auto-corrected in real life? It's like, oh, that's not possible. Well, I don't know, man, I see shit all the time where I'm just like, I don't know, is that Photoshop? Is that AI? I don't know. I just, I can't really trust anything

that I see. That's true. I have to hear it multiple times for other people and know that it's real. I saw a video of a dog. It was entirely real. A dog walking up to this guy's front door and then opening his mouth in a whole. and a hose coming out of it. I was like, whoa, when did dogs get you able to do this? Yeah, that's a relatively new thing. My dog can use water gun or hydropon.

It's really interesting seeing what is rising to the top as far as the soros stuff. This really shows how shitty our fucking sense of humors are as people because it's like the dog hose. It's the people getting sucked up by the fucking tornado. Like, those are the things going the most viral. The cat with a gun is crazy. I haven't seen that one yet.

Shooting up the front door. I haven't seen that. I'm like, put that down. And he takes the gun from the cat. And it's like, what the fuck? The best ones are ring camera videos in fairness. Like, it's the most convincing because it's inherently kind of like rainy and weird. So like it, very true.

It's a, it's a smart. There's a, the tornado thing I can't help but find funny. There's well. Yeah. The premise is funny. You know, the idea of like animals is being sucked into a tornado on a ring. I'm trying to interact with the stuff. I'm trying to make my effort and not interact with that at all.

But unfortunately, you just see it sometimes. I try to not. It's everywhere, man. You can't avoid it. I try to not give it any likes or anything like that. Even when I do find it funny, I'm like, I don't want to. Exactly. Yeah, no.

But what is this? Oh, okay. Is SpongeBob still running? SpongeBob. I'm pretty sure it's still happening. And everybody's still the characters that they are. The only characters that are different are like Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy because Ernest Borg9 is dead. Oh, yeah.

But guess what the number one search is when you put in is SpongeBob? Is SpongeBob gay? That's a good guess, but no, it's autistic. Oh, yes, right? That's the number one. He's something. He's something. Yeah, I don't know if I, because he's 30 or something, right?

He is, he's at least past his day. I think so. Not in this. He's past early 20s. I know that for sure. Yeah, I'm just saying like in, in season one, he's like a, at least like a full on adult. He's at least 25, you know? I don't know which part of the spectrum.

I think is early 30s, I think, canonically. That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know which part of the... Wow, year 26. Wow. How old is SpongeBob? Let me ask...

I would say this one, but it was like maybe 24 years old. Fuck, dude. How old is SpongeBob? Series has run for 15 seasons with hits at 16th season premiering. So it's 16th season premiered in June of this year. No, surprise me at all. One of these days, I might start... Well, because last time I don't know where it's at now,

because last time I checked, this was a long time ago. It was on Amazon. Who knows now with licensing? I think it's on Amazon. I think it's still there? Maybe not for free though, but it's on there. No. Because I do want to check out some of the newer episodes.

The first few seasons I think are free, which is perfect. It's a golden seasons. Oh, yeah, the ones that actually care about. I'm curious to see, like, oh, are there any episodes that will make me laugh out loud into the later years? Can I be out there on a row? I love the people I ask whenever you ask how old is SpongeBob. So I love how specific this is. is SpongeBob autistic?

What is SpongeBob real age? And the other one is, is SpongeBob 38? Is he 38? Like, 38 is such a specific... It's a very specific... Like, where did they get that from? In the license, it was... Oh, so he has a license that's on screen, I guess, in one episode.

Oh. It's a SpongeBob SquarePranches were on July 14th, 1986. That means he is 38 years old and five months at the moment. Yeah, but like what season... He's 30-39. Yeah, but like, what... that's in real time How much time has passed?

Yeah, like what season was that in? Yeah. Because that would kind of imply That's early series, right? Maybe, I mean, I don't know. I imagine so. So early series. Well, no,

it would have to be when he got his license, which is pretty late, right? No, it's early. He gets his license? When he gets the, Mrs. Crabs, when Mrs. Puff fakes and he gets a license?

Mrs. Crabbs, fake fan. Fake fan. Execute him. Guards? You remember, you remember when she, like, oh, he gets the license and she's like,

oh, no, I let her fucking tear out on the street. That's like no later in season three. Oh, you're right. Yeah, yeah. I forgot about that episode. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell,

host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer, what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms,

coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do, different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things

that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? They will come up point when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer.

That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, ORAIDA, Silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings.

Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. So I'm assuming that's when it happens So that's like what That's 20?

So he's 16 So there's maybe two right So 18 What doesn't seem right? What do you mean he's 16? What are you talking about? Like what? He's at least like 21 20s

Because the show premiered in 1999 And if he was born in 1986 He'd be like a teenager, right? Am I crazy? I just don't know It's just we can't even speculate I think he's early 20s in the beginning When the fuck was that

We need to know when that thing was That is very important information When that Impossible to know It's just not possible to say There's no way we can find out It's beyond our scope You know sadly

Oh fuck it Let's do one more question Let's get out of here Yeah, all right Let's do Early 20s I think he's like maybe I guess he feels early 20s

I'm going to say 25 He feels like somewhere around there I think earlier than I think I'm giving him like maybe between 20, 21 and 23 I guess the older he is The I guess the more pathetic it is that he doesn't have his boating license is, you know? Yeah, but I think that's kind of the, the premise is that he is pathetic, but, like, it doesn't bother him.

He just kind of accepts that he's pathetic. He's not bothered by the problems that. Squidward is pathetic, and it bothers him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Squibord did everything right technically. He said, the kid I did everything right, like, I went to art school, I did all this stuff. It's not the right thing to do. At no point was that ever, at no point was that ever considered the right thing to do.

He tried to chase his fall. He tried to pursue his dreams. Yeah, and he got fucking crushed. Yeah. And then this little retard is in the same situation, the same. But he has enough money to buy an entire funeral plot just for his hopes and dreams. That's true. The economy, I would love to see a video analyzing the economy of SpongeBob Square of like the economy of Bikini Bottom because how is it like what is the salary of a fry cook in that world?

Mr. Crad is also filthy rich though. He's very rich. He's very rich, but he's also extremely stingy. So you know he's getting these, they're probably getting like server wages but not getting tips. They're definitely getting sub minimum wage. they're getting tax on their tips if they get tipped at all Yeah

I don't know It's weird Because at the same time They make enough money Both of them Squidward and SpongeBob To own a house Yeah they have house They're not renting those houses

It's a house Squidward's house is crazy cool Patrick's house is more just like you know Yeah well Patrick's house is a fucking He doesn't work anywhere His house also He lives essentially under a fucking stone Yeah

I like what he's like what he like has like actual a house and then he doesn't like sometimes sometimes it's literally just. When you go in there and there's like it's nothing it's flat then other times you go on there and there's like a big fucking sprawlers home. There's like when his when his fake fucking parents came to visit. Do you remember that? That's right. It's fake

parents. The entire time it was literally not actually his parents. Who are you people? I do love that it's sometimes flat and it's just like it's a completely like nebulous like fake space that exists only when it has to. Yeah. But there was I saw an episode recently and not an episode fully

but like I saw clips of an episode that was real before AI was convincing enough to fake the shit where like apparently his house is a turtle sorry

hmm yeah I like that idea yeah it like shakes off the all the dirt the brown on it is dirt and it shakes it off

and it's a turtle and he's like what the fuck someone's been living it doesn't really make any sense it doesn't but I like it anyway anyway what we got

oh yeah let's find I'm trying to find a good final You took my only food. Now. Now I'm gonna starve. I love that shot, dude. He's so mortally that they drew him so fat at that one moment. It was just all you are.

Now I'm gonna starve. Fucking asshole immediately forgets that he ate the chocolate. I think I'll eat it now. I love it. He's a piece of shit, actually. he scored in the beginning he's a huge piece of shit Squidward? Yeah, no, Patrick.

Patrick. I was just a complete asshole. I was just a complete asshole. You really changed. Oh yeah, like the subject with no regard. He's technically an asshole, but he's not a piece of shit. I feel so bad for him.

He's just depressed. Yeah. I feel for him because you start becoming him as you get older. You're like, oh shit. Oh, yeah. Holy shit. I get it. I see the kids.

I see what the kids are doing nowadays. And I'm like, ugh. I'm like, ugh. I only see them when I'm at the gym. And that's enough, man. Enough of them. The trend of wearing, This was never, dude, throughout my entire life,

there was never a trend of wearing pajamas to, like, extracurricular activities. You know what I mean? Just doing things like anything. Like, to me, you would see. I poured pajamas to, like, to the basketball court, like I just walked there. I had my comfy pajamas on.

Then I put my shorts on. Well, that's definitely not that. It's more of the do it as a statement. Where before, sometimes we do it, oh, you wake up out of bed and you're just wearing them and you go out to the store real quick. I don't give a shit about that. People, they're like, oh, wake up.

take off their sweats and then put on PJs. And I'm like, come on, dude. What are we doing? Or like all the kids now, they have, the girls have the chain on their nose now. Have you seen that? It's a new piercing where it's like, it's like, there's a chain on the top of their nose.

So we have like two piercings right here and then there's like a chain on top of it. And I'm like, what is that? Is that, are those rains? I don't understand. What the fuck is this? Derek, you've never seen that before? You have gauges.

You have gauges. You had gauges. I've never seen it. I have plugs. Gages are measurement. insert. Okay, sorry, you had plugs. Yeah, don't call him that. That pissed me off to him. It's like a fucking tire gauge or I'm like, no, it's not a gauge gauge, it's fucking tire gauge.

You want to call these ear gauges. Like, it's kind of gay, but all right. You have freaking holes in ears. You know, you can't judge. No, I judge when it looks retarded, that's all. And I don't mean, and I know that's subjective. Yeah, for sure. Like, obviously, there are certain things like one of my friends he had a chain going from his ear to his nose. And I was like, what the fuck, Xerxes? What's the fuck is this bullshit?

That's crazy. I thought of it was going to rip it out. We start calling them Xerxes. They're like, what the fuck is this? No, there's things that are like, like even face tattoos. That's, I don't care. You get a couple of face tattoos. One of my friend had a little bulls one because he's from Chicago.

That's gay. I mean, I don't care. I was like, that's fine. But then you see, but then you see a fucking post Malone. You're like, all right, man. You know, it's that. It's like, so the pajama thing was like, I'm going to fucking wake out of bed. He was like he fell asleep in a day.

asleep in a dumpster at a stamp factory. Yeah. You woke up like, what's all, what's all this then? What's all this? This. Face plants into the dumpsters. Yeah, it's just like, hey. I think face tattoos are, they work on, they work on women sometimes.

Sometimes girls look good with face tats. I think just don't. Not enough to marry. It's like piercings, man. Like I talk about the, I talk about the chain thing where I'm like, I don't have a problem with piercings, obviously. Like you said, I have, you know, I've seen a split tongues. I don't really like anything. that.

Shit frightens me. Interests me, though, but it's the people that are like, they want to be reptiles and shit. It's weird.

I met a guy in Ohio like that. He fucking had the, the, he put the implants for, like he was full-blown like a lizard. It's disgusting. He's like a famous guy.

Well, you know what I mean. I have so much contempt for the internet because you said I ran this guy in Ohio and I assumed. He was a demon? No,

I just assumed because like, you know, like the fucking in Ohio is like a, like a fake thing. Ohio the place is fake This is too specific That's like it's like actual Do you know what I'm talking about?

That's like deep in the brain rot actually Like yeah Actually don't know what you're Oh like oh are you Like in Ohio doesn't mean anything I don't know how to describe this Because people would be like Oh do you rinse up some honeies in Ohio

Or whatever And people will say that Oh not really Because they call their Ohio is like a random server It's a random MBC server I get I get what you're saying So you said I ran somebody in Ohio And I immediately thought like

Well see I immediately sighed because I know that's not where you meant. But it bothered me that it reminded me of that. The fact that you're that deep into brainwised, I only know that because I have a nephew. I also have family. That's true. That's true.

What do you say? But they're not that young, right? I mean, the oldest is just gone into college, but there's also younger cousins. Damn, dude. What are the other trends? Have you seen the 6-7? Do you know what the fuck that is?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't know what that is. I watched the first Alonzo ball because it affected he's six, seven, but he moves, he attacks the board as if he's a smaller person, like the way he moves. So that's the reference that was made in the song and the song became a meme. So now the meme is just talking about six, seven. It's just quoting the song. Yeah.

And they do this fucking thing. And I'm like, wow, that's. I hate that. That's crazy. It's really dumb. I like the song, though. The song is funny. You know what's crazy?

There's a baby shark reference in it. That actually. I think I actually You're fired actually It's a funny baby shark reference We're gonna read the last question Then get the fuck out of here Big Ugly Jordan

Dear dark meat Dark meat dark meat and light meat Gun to your heads What's staple Thanksgiving food Would you be most willing To fuck to completion stuffing? Mac and cheese Mac and cheese

Yeah Straight out the oven Yeah straight out the oven A bow man I see You fucking as soon as you hear the ding You It's on fire It's on fire.

It's on fire. The fire is blue. That's crazy. Blue flame and it's not gasoline. It's just that hot. That's how hot it is. My dick is holding firm too. What is it?

White is the hottest? White flame? White hot, I think, is the hottest. I think... I know blue is harder than a normal fire, but... I think white, white, because when people used to say white hot, I think when they're referring to...

Yeah. You know, of course, Yeah, when I heat up my knife, the maximum heat it's white. One of our... One of our... One of our smart audience members is probably still going to freak out regardless. Oh, the new season of Witcher came out. Oh, yeah.

Oh, with the fake guy? Yeah, that guy reminds me of a young Christopher Lambert when he's like in Witcher, like decked out in Witcher gear. Was Christopher Lambert again? The guy that talks like this. He played Raiden in the original World Combat. I know what you mean. Yeah. He also played, he played Beowulf.

He had his own version of Beowulf in the 9th. Oh, in the 90s. It's me. Oh, Highlander. He was most famous for Highlander. It's me. It's me. I'm fucking dumb.

I think I'm Belgian or something. I don't know where I'm from. I'm fucking. What am I? A lot of places. He says it fucking Highlander. He looks like cross-eye too. Do you notice that?

He's like, like, the more I look at him, I was like, what the fuck's right? I don't really like Highlander. I had like a little Highlander phase. There can only be one, you fucking bitch. How do you know? That was there? Are you sure? I was there.

Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to read the names of our $25. I'm a Patron of Patron. Give me the prize. Remember, you can go to patreon.com slash a snark tank. You can jump on over there.

Get your name right at the end of the show like I'm about to do now. I'm the Thunder God. I'm going to get the quickening after I kill this, Nick. You think you have more lightning than me, Hassan? I don't think so. At the end, it waited to me. He's getting pushed back. You don't know what you mean, bro?

You think you can fuck with me? Wee! Jump on him. And then Kaya does on it. Kaya Jop. Shocked. Kaya, attack. A tag.

No. He's absorbing my powers. Too much. I love my dog. Shut up. I'm sick. Sit down.

I'm going to kill you. Oh my God. Two more times are fucking different kicks. You speak what spoken to, Kaya. You stupid fucking dog. He doesn't even It's not even that he has

It's not even that he has electric powers He just literally just has a lot of electricity He's just somehow Giving it to the dog He just giving it He uses all of his money Like every like That fuck he bought that house

Paid it off in full And all the rest of his money Just goes to the heart of the electricity It's why you never see him go anywhere You literally never like I've never seen him go do anything He can't get too far away because then he's so accustomed to the electricity.

Yeah. You can't leave his stream set up. Otherwise, he becomes weak. It's like, it's like Superman in the sun. Yeah. I just start seeing him.

He has like a little shade of blue on him. Like he's starting to get a little like bluey. That's on? Yeah. Yeah. What? Yeah. Like a little little like like fucking.

Like a like a homeless Manhattan, you know, Electro. You know, I'm sorry. Every time I think of Spider-Man too, they made the Spider-Man too. I didn't make the connection at all.

I know. I know. all. Every time I think of the main Sonderman too, that's the only thing I can think of. This blue fucking electrode. Like, it's the only thing I think of when I think of that movie. I love the gap in his teeth getting fixed, man. It's just so, it's I love it. Which is so disrespectful

too. I know. It's so disrespectful. Like, oh, you look way better now. Is that like, was that like a prosthetic for the movie? He doesn't have a jab in his tooth, doesn't he? I don't think so. Because that'd be wild if he just did, and they were like, no. You got to get rid of that shit. You got to get rid of that shit. You want to be successful in this business. You got to have not that bullshit going

Yeah. That was so well after him being so famous too. I know, yeah. It would be like the nerve of them to say that to him at that point. Because that was after, that was after Django. Or around the same time. Around the same year. It was the same year.

Because I think Django was 2012. And then so was the main spot of time too. Jango was well after he became very famous. He became famous for Ray. That's what was for a lot of things. He was in any given Sunday, I think. Well, no, but like Ray is what got him out. He has an Oscar, if I'm saying, for Ray.

Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbeta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together. It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future.

Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point when it will mature. Right?

Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stockup savings time now through March 31st.

Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, Body Armor, ORA-Ida, Silk, Capri-Sung, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy drive-up and go pick up or delivery. Restrictions apply.

See website for full terms and conditions. Does he? He got an Oscar for Ray. He got an Oscar for Ray? Did he? Is it because he's playing like a disabled? person. Mother fucking Georgia.

I mean, he's also an insanely talented singer for no reason. No, like, he's way more talented than anyone that's like a comedian, comedic essence has in that field, you know? Because like Dave Chappelle can't fucking sing and dance. I've seen him sing.

I've seen him sing and dance to Fred Astaire. Nigga, I'm blinding, Georgia's my favorite place to live. Let's see what he's like, I love the way it was like, when you finally your son's gay and it's like, when you find out of your son's straight.

You remember that? This is stupid You're going to read the names now These jokes are so stupid All right, count me down Three, two, one Butt Digger by Kangag Sex I don't know

Yeah, I don't get it I don't get it Immediately off the rip Big Chrissy A comfy trans knight And she says colon three Fatherless behavior God's favorite femboy

Malik Barry Annal Footcake, Cobabah canceling unless you call my friend Ross gay I'm sorry to see Chris Paul it's taking off on the internet that everyone's calling him child porn three now oh Chris Paul yeah CP3 it's so funny I was like bro I feel so it's literally every time I see things of him

everyone says it now he's so stuck I just want it's so retroactive he's like 40 now he's pretty much of this like last seat and then that's what I mean Prime audience Feeling horny We can help call 1-800

Suck Dick for more information The Dead Spider by Stanley The Mortar Wants to Kill Me with the President A Fudanari that's just a regular woman with balls parentheses no cock, fat Albert voting, boring unconscious women Getting Judah at $25 by two Black sexy Israelites and one light-skinned twink

Yeah Delta Gamma literally fed this toddler last week. Why is it still crying? Clamule Esquire, the third. Wanted to surprise my nan, so I called ice. I called ice on her migrant ass. Snark Tank's hungriest lesbian.

Ice and the fire department fighting in Gangsta Quest. I don't know if ICE would really be in Gangsta Quest. I wouldn't want it to be in it. It doesn't really seem like it makes sense. No, because there's not going to be any like illegal immigrants or anything. Those bounds aren't really a real thing yet. Gaste a quest to the medieval people will come to the modern day. It'll be like, it'll be like Anemusia 3, really swap or something.

It'll be freaking wharves and elves and everything in a modern world. And they're fucking frightened. Oscar the Grouch. Ashlings get me picked up and eaten by Mexicans. Oscar the Grouch on the run after being found on Epstein's flight list 82 times. What? In the can? Yeah, I mean, it must have been a mistake.

Elder Scrolls elves call Red Guards Enwine. Nice. Two rats piloting mechusween to fight off Joe Frogan and the Joe Forogan invasion. Old Snake, but he's addicted to paint huffing. The new Odyssey show narrated by Jordan Basketball Peterson. 2D animated kangaroo jack sung an L.L. Cool Jail song. God help us. Feeding every pilot slow acting Xlax and melatonin.

Berserkervoly's Bih, B. bang bus-sized Beansis. Reckless Rhino the Sloker 2 Why so derpy? Google image search poop hammock.

I'm not doing that. Poop, brother. My Chris Hansen Tamagachi is really hungry. Andy Pants made AI C-Sseam of his own daughter what the fuck.

Old man spaghetti nuts. Damo Nation hashtag Bring Back Jalen. Derek Notchavan is innocent hashtag free him Rounded Asian making his wife listen to the show. Do not do that.

PSA. Go watch Chris Duckman's new movie Shelby Oaks. It also has a sidecrack played by a Lord and Savior Keith David. I'm going to see Shelby Oaks tomorrow, I think. Cool. I don't give a shit.

God, damn. Jesus Christ. Always with these facts about you. That's interesting. That's interesting. It is interesting. It is very cool. It is interesting.

It's very cool. Where are you going to see it? Probably 16. Just kidding. I didn't. You just asked. Do you care? No, but I told you.

You just asked. But I told you I didn't care. But you just asked, though. Why'd you ask if you didn't care? I was simply making conversation. Don't. It's a podcast. I found this is funny

The second Twitter trash I ever did, sorry Was I was making fun of Paul Joseph Watson right? Sure And I don't think he understands the concept of Like how a video, you know how you'll use a part of the video It's a series of tweets So I'm gonna just pick one as the headliner, right? Right, yeah

So like I used him whatever And then you know a shitty picture of him or whatever He used to be called stupid shit on Twitter And he was like, Like, first he was like slow news week, like, like, annoyed. Slow news week. And then I forgot whatever. He was like, you click baited my face.

Like, he was saying like I click bait. I'm like, click baited your. Do you not know how. I don't know if he didn't like understand how thumbnails actually worked. He's like, you click baited my face. And I'm like, what the- You click baited my face. You click baited my face.

He's British. He was probably, I don't know. You're featured in the video. Because you said, I don't remember what he said, but of course he was fucking a stupid. He's probably fucking a sheep or something like that. I don't know. I was crazy

I've made a few I think he's been featured in three of them at least In the talk Because he kept you kept Slow news week Modernity Like he would

A girl Some fucking hot bitch was like She wedged a glass Between her butt cheeks And then like poured beer Like she served it with her butt cheeks Essentially And you know

Horny men were like Huhha's cool You know just like Quick little out That's cool She's hot And he's like Modernity

You're like What the fuck I do remember that What do you fucking And then all these Ukrainian women were doing like an aerobics class. And then they were like shaking their ass. Again. My dad.

I'm like, are you fucking gay, dude? Like, they're just dancing. What made you bring this up exactly? Oh, sorry. I saw it in the, um, I didn't explain that. Oh, I saw the, I pulled up my memories thing on Facebook. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I was like, oh, let's see what I posted like a year ago or this on this day.

Like seven, eight years ago. And I was like, oh, it's funny. I forgot about this. Classic. There's, uh, Paul John Watson. He was a staple on this. show way back in the day on a yeah he was he just kind of end he fade into obscurity I mean he's making good money I'm sure he's making good money a lot of you a lot of oftentimes you find out

the people who are not relevant are still making a lot of money yeah yeah and they're in the best spot really that's like that's a good spot to be in you're and you're not getting a bunch of shit so your mental health can probably stay relatively intact because you don't have to deal with people constantly shitting on you yeah you just have your echo chamber it's being stocked you know yeah broke wigger 24-7 how hard is it to not fuck with minors are they that good? Jesus Christ. Queen of Faphaazard,

tired of the overused simple-ass drumbeat in modern Mexican music. Blonde. I hate Rimbo. I hate Rimbaud in Spanish music. RIMBO. That's crazy.

It's insane. Oh, Rinko Sinto in its yellow. Dude, I fucking. Every reggaeton. Every single one. Every single one. It's crazy.

You can do that drumbeat to like a punk song and it turns it into a fucking Spanish song. It's funny. That's what I'm cool, bro. Yeah, I know. Blonde blue-eyed German man campaigning to make Pokemon 2D again. German eye, German-eyed blue man eating a gay man on oven when you of in the cold man of counting or not counting gang violence her. What the fuck does that mean? I read that perfectly, which is insane.

Femboy clown now with honked balls is going to change my profile pick to hope well pizza. at time. Thug Zillic versus King Chronic. God damn it. GZEighter Glitch. Frogs together strong. Gay master chief be like, sir. Sir. Finishing this dude. Uh, the male gays. Benassus Greek God of the Irv. This podcast is proudly brought to you by the NRA. Uh, big meaty stinks. Proudly. Donald dumps start of the deal or shard of the deal. I'm going to put fuck the president with a mortar. Gay actor Rosebud Delicious. Evil Sween. Be like, I hate white people.

Wait, evil-sweening? Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Mbeta. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.

It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology? There will come a point.

when it will mature. Right? Yeah. My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Quantum? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com slash quantum.

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Ready to save, it's time for cyber deals. Put a spring in your step with friends. savings that brighten the season. These exclusive week-long digital offers on your favorite products are only available when you shop online. Save on eligible items from Kettle, Chabani, Quaker, Skippy, Hidden Valley, International Delight, Frito Lay, and Signature Select.

Available now through March 24th on pickup or delivery orders only. Restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. You stunlocked me. I got it with me. You got me. Sorry, I can't. I had a burrito.

I guess. I guess. I don't know, man I don't love them anymore I love anybody else You like Star Wars That's white It's a white

Yeah It's a pretty white thing It's a pretty white thing Technically The guy's name The guy's name is Two first names You know

George Lucas So my first name is two My name is two first names too Yeah Because you're white Yeah Really not Yeah

You're named Your entire lineage Was it Kingston Was it Julius Kingston Julius Kingston Caesar

Right Yeah Chavez Revington Jameson Revington Revington That's alright Would you rather suck Garris to completion

Or kiss Miranda on the mouth I love that one Heath reminded of a Yu-Yo card Gids The real Kingston Jameson He went missing in 2005 Do y'all fuck with the new Mario Judah

A hard hat Pee John Otto take him to the Matthews bridge Evil Sweeney is a Minecraft YouTuber for white kids Gay Nye That's a real guy Evil Sweeney

Is that a real guy I don't think it's a real guy. I hope it's a new guy. He just propped up. Can you imagine there was a guy named Evil Sweeney? Like a new, like a YouTube channel, like a new guy coming up? He's not a damn thing. He doesn't know anything

about me. He's like, who's this fucking Tom Sweeney guy? And he's like, oh. Evil. I like rape. Hello. Hello, watch me build a city and rape it. Nine inch males. Gay Nide the Buttsx guy, EA

Sports, it's in the sand. Shaming Ops till they're deranged and drooling translating next name. The Real Sweene died in a sewer in Sista Rica. Mm-hmm. That's true. I think he meant Costa Rica, but

I'm being a dickhead by reading it as it is. I'm a stupid motherfucker that I can't fucking breathe. I thought it was some play on words I didn't understand. No. Sister Riga, so a robotic imposter was created. Invite fuck what Invite fuck dick signifier on the pod.

Fuck dick. Is that what empty you mean? Is that what it? I never thought about that. I don't know what his first name. I think it's Frederick. I think it's Franklin Delano. I think it's Franklin.

Can you imagine? What an asshole pair. Franklin Delano signifiers, man. I would love to have a chat with that. I would have him on a podcast, though. Yeah. I'd like to have him on the podcast, get a, get that rub. Yeah, I'd be like, where we, we, we're a big audience, man.

He's getting fucking name dropped on like big fucking publications now. Did you see Killer Mike said bullshit about him? Yeah. And I was like, Mike, shut the fuck up. Kill him like. I love you, but shut up. pisses me up because Killer Mike is a fucking capitalist and it pisses me off. It bothers me so much. He's like, oh, you got to own property. I'm like, yeah, not in the way that you are, bitch. He's

fucking doing it like every other fucking oppressor. Like, oh, I'm going to get all these things and I'm going to rent it out to people and shit. And I'm like, you're just making money. You're not fucking owning property. You're fucking, you're turning a profit. Fuck you. It makes me like, crazy. So right on something. On a lot of stuff. And then the moment it got to like make him making money. I was like, fuck that shit. Oh my God. Like, fuck that. A million beers.

That is a pig, literally. That's the thing, too. Department of War. Putting my dick and balls in between chendly's thighs and telling her to squeeze until she hears a pop. Took it in my bottom. Now I'm queer. Please L. P's dope.

Got no problems with them. That's my, my. Got no problems with L.P. at all. I hope you can say nigger, bro. I would let him. Absolutely. Lincoln Park?

Yeah. Yeah. Lincoln Park can say nigga, whatever. Chester could have said nigger around me and I want to go out. I'll give it. He would have a. streamed it. What's his name? Mike Shinoda has done his homework. He has a, on the 2012 album, he has one of his rap singles. Like, he's doing a lot of name drop and he can tell him like, oh, this is a, this is a, he's trying to prove that he actually like likes hip hop. Yeah, he has chat GPT, like chat GPT, what are cool hip-hop things to refer. It's a, give me, give you good references for hip-hop. Why do I like MF do him so much? I remember he puts in a who shot you, um, reference. He puts in like he does, he does like things around my,

Like, okay. Yeah, they're totally hip-off. All right. All right. I get it. Took it. Oh, yeah. I've seen enough Victor Wanbaniamas the goat. Cock cheese crumbs was not expecting my foot comment to lead to last episode's title.

What? Oh, which one was that? I think it was like the feet unchained or something, I think. Is what it was? What was the title of the last episode? I don't remember. I thought it was a crash armintraught. Crash Armichot was the one, but I don't know if that's fucking render.

Is that, is that how? what led to our conversation about Mike Irma Trout? Maybe. Or is it the previous episode? I don't know, man. I'm not going to... I can't remember what the previous episode was about. We're trying to get out of it. It don't matter.

The Man Without Calm. If you don't need pussy from the back, you're not hungry enough. Sweene has TrueSide. That's why you can still see his dad. Transfem basketball team. The Harlot Globe Frotters. Very cool. Youch. Ouch. Most stable UE5 game is Sonic Racing transformed

cross worlds. Notice is bulges, oh, well, what's this? Halo is about killing Muslims, choose husband. Hello, hello. I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I recently spoke with IBM's new director of research, Jake Gambata. We discussed his vision for the future of quantum computing. At IBM research, what we always do is answer what is the future of computing, whether it's coming up with new algorithms, coming up with better AI, coming up with quantum, or coming up with just how do different accelerators go together.

It's our DNA to answer the question of what is the future. Isn't it a perfect problem for IBM because you kind of need to have a legacy of building stuff? Yes. Building actual physical machines. Yeah, it's why I came to IBM. I wanted the experience, the culture of building, hard things that others have not done before. Where do you imagine we are in the timeline of this technology?

There will come a point when it will mature. Right? My cell phone is a mature technology at this point. How far are we from that point with Conton? By 2029, we'll build the first fault-tolerant quantum computer. That is one that can run a very, very large, large problem. To learn how IBM is building the future of computing, visit IBM.com

slash quantum. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store-wide deals and earn four times of points. Look for in-store tags to earn on eligible items from Celsius, body armor, or Ida, silk, Capri-Sun, Bavarian Meets, and Charmin. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event-long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more.

Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in-store or online for easy. drive up and go pick up or delivery restrictions apply, see website for full terms and conditions. I don't know, man. Smitchie the kid. Did you see that? Did you really say that? No. Is that a real? No, I don't think so.

That'd be wild. The reference, I'll be quiet. He's a... Oh, you're also popes so clearly. Like the prophets? Yeah. This is an allegory for religion in general. Every single aspect of that is religious and how stupid it is. Oh, the flood are beaners.

Oh! Oh, the beater fly. Yeah, it makes sense. That means I'm a flood. And I start mutating. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do. It's so weird that people don't understand that like often like just a lot of that stuff is used because it's just thematically cool. It's cool to have aliens and ancient shit named after like the Ark and the Covenant.

Yeah. It's just neat. It's not even deep. It's cool. And they don't understand it still. I think clearly a lot of people that are artists have intention when they make things clear. So it's like, all right. This is like,

this is clearly a story about a person losing their religion and refining faith in their people. Obviously it's there, right? Yeah. But for people to be like, because I think things are, I think things are deeper than they usually are at the surface. But at the same time, it's just like, it doesn't have to be that heavy. But oftentimes they're not. It can be. It can be.

Like the flood is just a cool space. Like they really were just like what. this is cool. Yeah. Like a lot of video games, especially a lot of early video games. It's like, it's just like the rule of cool. And then they figure out things like afterwards. It's just like, oh, okay. Yeah. Um, oh, I didn't think about that. It's usually they draw, especially for something annoyingly. And it makes

something cool. And it's like, oh, that's where my space came from. And they looked at a Tia per sep and like, oh, well, yeah, obviously. The rings could easily be called Yormandandar, you know what I mean? Yeah. And they could have drawn from Norse shit. It's like, it's ridiculous. Yeah. Um, yeah, but saying Mexicans are the flood is. It should like people that, well, Mexicans are the flow. Let's not get crazy.

Oh, okay, cool. The elixies are what? Well, that's destiny, but the elixenie. Oh, well, sorry. The elixny are, I don't know. The juice. I'm sure someone has said that. Calcestus is the goat.

Yeah, somebody's out there being like the grunts are an allegory. No, no, because the grunts are slaves. The grunts are stupid, stupid slaves. They're actually not. They're actually not stupid. They're dumb as fog. No, they're not, though. It's the thing.

Remember, they were not dumb. until they became slaves and they became stupider. Remember that whole scene they were talking about like, I don't remember. I was actually smart once. And then like now I'm, oh yeah, but that's like a joke conversation. That's like an Easter egg where they're like,

me used to be smart until you fucked. Like, imagine me and self-awarely. That doesn't even make sense. It's a funny, it's a funny conversation. I used to be smart. That was in five.

That's in five. But that's like one of the things like in Halo 4 where Conan O'Brien and and Andy Richter are like Marines in their guarding crates. Oh, Right, right, right. They're just, like, sitting there and just be like, no one's going to touch these crates. It's like, isn't it? Seriously.

It's been a while. What's Kingston's dad been up to? You know, just fucking around, you know? Probably having more kids on my piece of shit, dad. Calcas, this is the goat. Might be the African American little person wordsmith. Hamster and a sock is now plus five after extensive use. It's going to level up soon, too.

Reforming the Battalion de San Perficio in Venezuela for the Latinos. U.S. Lily D. I see you Phantom Necromancer. I miss you so much. Aw. My little baby boy. My little stupid baby boy.

I think about the fact that he's probably going to die. I'm not going to know. That's fucking wild to me. Isn't that trippy? I'm dead already. You're not going to plan his like shit, his funeral or nothing? No, that's not me. That's my sister.

Are you going to show up? I'll probably go again. I'll go too. And he fucking gets up. I knew you loved me. I knew you love me. I'm going to take your body now. It's like, what?

This is a ritual, son. Thank you for being here. You're bound. You're bound now. I'm you. I get to live yet again. I get to start from earlier and get more life. You will be in here.

I'm going to gin you you. I'm ginuing you, son. I'm ginnu. I got you. This motherfuckerfucker says change now. Someone's screaming out would terrify me. I'd be like, oh, I would face a wall immediately. If you're dead.

If you're dead beat dead dead dead dead, dead dude, ginnued you at his funeral. Would you be mad? dying so well he's dead is he it's how does he he's he's borderline dead he's like that he's got like a day left yeah you know he's shamlin you got me nigga you got me you got me oh you knucklehead

you got me there he is have fun in California you rat fuck oh my god it does he does he explain to Lily that he's now he doesn't come home to Lily he just goes and lives he flies here and lives where he doesn't even

Kings just abandoned me Louis is going to see him on TV Are you on the news doing some fuck shit? He's going to be like Kingston Kingston like she's been crying every day And he sees him like up there in the fucking In Jamaica or whatever He sees me in fucking K-Tar

Blowing up fucking hospitals They're like hooray Hooray mass destruction And Lily's like no that must be the evil kingston It cannot be my... The evil can't help you stop it I can help you stop him I can help you stop

What a fucking plot? You must free me He's like, oh, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, fucking He's fucking in chains, you must free me Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's like, got the straight jacket on He's like in like a temple You must free me that I can help I can help set this things

I love this He's in a extra ammo Dude, he's in a tautacy of Kingston I love this He's in like a temple under the, I don't know The Washington Holy fuck, I got to write this down Under the Vatican where people circling it praying all day

to keep him compressed. I gotta write this now. This is such a fun concept, dude. I love this. Craig the Canadian. Killer Queen has already touched your penis. It's your boy, Shawnee D. Game Shot Coming, TM.

Change your name, Chris. At Grok, is this true? We are losing the objective of Enward. Still can't believe to this day, Jay Z caused 9-11. Sween, would you... What? Sween, would you rather go to Disney World

with King Dad or watch the League on you with a handful of Beatles? Went to the stupid, dumb, Bay, idiot convention. And everyone there knew you. Drip M.H. Lord of all drip. Wearing the glasses to sleep so I can see better in my dreams. All ice agents fumbled the Latina in their past.

Obi won't you blow me. Cremlin to Gremlin. When will I get buff sexy sweet and work out more? Chris is in the top five wiggers of all time. The 12 gays of Christmas. Not bad. Think about that. Not bad.

Nine cocks are cocking. You know, whatever. Hey, dicks are sucking in a partridge and a pear tree. Six scroats of scroats. Four comes a coming Yeah It'd be too easy actually That's so lazy

Well you would Yeah But like why wouldn't we do that Why wouldn't we do that? Why wouldn't we do that? Why would we just turn into a fucking narrative? Yeah Yeah

I guess it is because all you have to do to write that song Is just start from the end And then you have the whole song Five cock rings Four Four throbbing Wait four throbbing songs Three

Three Three gay men Two Three All right, shut up. You're ruining good material. We are, yeah, we're spending gold here. Wait, we're just losing money.

Stop it. Stop this. So dumb. And partridge. You should make, make the, the Homoine public. Oh, right, right, right, right. This is Homo win. Everybody Homo scream.

Everybody Homo scream? That's even stupid. Soon, humor would be like, oh shit. Chris, left his chicken in the fridge I'm gonna eat it fuck that gay little boy Wage Slate 583 That was in my brain

Three boys One Yoohoo Love that chicken for Popeyes God I miss I'm so sad I didn't get to eat that chicken I bet it was good Three boys one yuh I knew it when I got it

I was like I'm getting this for later But I opened it I picked it I was like oh it's a good batch You know you know the thing where you can kind of tell Like oh it's kind of like not a great. Yeah. You know. Pupini Bros. presents Crash Course Cybertron History, Rise of Decepticons, Donk, Homeless Chris, Christopher Reposzerc,

Mason the metal head, PeePee, me singing to a man. Put my legs on your shoulders. Elipsis F. F. Fan. I'm going to peg Jason Todd, J.K. Raulet. The J.K. and J.K. Rallying is short for gigantic cunt. John Strickland. Merck's 1889. Bought the Chris U.T.S. figure. You just need a mason jar and some zinc. Relax. Zinc is crazy. The first strategic David, soon hosting their own solo.

episode. The F in J.F.K. stands for Fulmer. John Falmer Kennedy. Falmer. He's a Falmer. Actually, they look into it. He's a former with a suit on. Robert. I think next time I look at him, I'll be, I see it.

I actually got to see it. No, it's JFK. So, John Falmer Kennedy. So it's not RFCK. Oh, oh, JFK. Oh, okay. Yeah, RFK is obviously a Falmer. Like, there's nothing even, you know. All right. I know, I now know how Chris Chan felt when arm color change. Pre-Raws, Blake 8-96. I got Lockjaw doing graveyard shifts at the

Dick Sucking Factory and all I got was Lockjaw as previously you mentioned. No longer allowed within 500 feet of certain establishments due to the last place I came in my hands and clapped at. Rosa Parks wrestling a bus on Monday Night Raw, Das Guppy, the Gravemind speaking through RFK. Dr. Phil told me I should quote, get a grip, end quote, before shooting me in the cock alive on stage. Get a grip. Okay. I know, it's insane. Young Colin going trick-or-treating

as his own skeleton he skinned himself. Dressed as Dr. Dracula for Halloween. Nicky Ziggy, putting MasterCheep in the microwave on DeFrost for 10 minutes after his cryopause fails. Cutting sween

when I need more camsauce. Excel spread cheeks, too blurry, too Bigfoot. What are you cackling about? That's funny. What? Too blurry, too bigfoot. You've never laughed at that.

That's been a name for a while. I can laugh now. It may have hit me different today. It's the first time he actually heard it. Yeah, probably, yeah. The first time. The first I was perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's like, I want to get the fuck out of her. This sucks. I hate this. He's usually scrolling on that porn site. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, because now they got the porn gifs. I haven't checked it out yet. I'm going to check it out sometimes.

What is it called? That you said shorties, right? It's like a tab. It's like a tab. on porn hub called Shorty. So they gotta have the mobile. Well, don't check it. I'm not recommending.

I'm just gonna check it out. Like, I think it's interesting. If I remember, I'm gonna check it like, because that sounds ridiculous. It is dumb. It's very weird. But I want to curate it

so it's only gay. Standing in the showers, everybody stab my heart out. Hey, look, it's a little gay mean, fuck me in the ass. Sorry, Miss Jackson. Who's New York Nick?

Atheoryne and you tell blowing his weapon and Hillary and a hundred. Naferman. Rounding out, our list is always the king of half passion. Goodbye, everybody. Cumcommered.

Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. It's late, but like whatever. It's November. Happy pre- Thanksgiving. Do do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. This is penis mean. Everybody's fucking dream. Amazon Hub delivery wants to partner with your business. Help your business. Help your neighbors. Discover a new stream of income for your business when you partner with Amazon Hub delivery.

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