The Snark Tank - #38: The Problem with "Cuties"

Episode Date: September 19, 2020

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Do it for Chris. Hey, look. It's a little dead meme. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Snark Tank podcast. It's me again. Last week, we did a shoe on head episode. We had a guest on, but we don't have that this time.

We didn't plan that far ahead. whoops, I guess, but I'm sure we'll have a guest sometime in the near future. Be sure to comment, by the way, give us some requests. Yeah, we're in who you'd like on the show. We're in talks with getting Obama.

Oh, yeah, we got. If you get talking about the whole entire Gaza Strip incident, it'll be really insightful. Because, you know, he has a story too, you know. Like, we all bitch about it. We're all bitching about what he did and, like, how that wasn't cool. A lot of children died and a lot of innocent people died.

But, like, you know, he has a story of his own, you know? We should talk to them about it. There's two sides to every war crime. It's not a war crime, but it's definitely not a good thing, you know. I mean, if a president does it at all, it's a war crime. That's just kind of what it means at this point. Technically, when Clinton got that little blowy, that was also technically a war crime because he did it as commander-in-chief.

The biggest war crime. I mean, I forgive him. And I can't respect that he lied, though. If he just went like, yeah, I fucking get that bitch gave me head. What the fuck you going to do about it? I'm like, oh, that's cool, man. That's cool. To me, it's just I can't respect the fact that people cared at all.

I just don't care. They cared because he was lying. If you would have just been straight up, everyone would have been like, oh, that's dope. And then they would have gone about their business. No. Yes. No. That was like the 90s.

It was like back with it. as like Christian conservatives and like fucking. Yeah, I guess. But I mean, look at all the shit that. Yeah, I guess. I guess. You would have been okay with it. I would have been okay with it.

Yeah. That's true. The fucking evangelical Republicans at the time would have been like, you let a woman's face touch your penis? What's wrong with you? You know what they would have done? They would have pulled the dicks out of their mouth to be outraged. They would have been like, oh, I'm sucking my dick.

I'm sucking. I'm getting this dick sucked. in the bathroom stall, and it's like, pause. I need to complain about Bill Clinton, meanwhile, while they're getting their dick sucked by some dude. Because that's what was happening in every goddamn scenario. Like, oh, you de jaded. What were you doing, Mr. President?

You'd be the dick out of their fucking mouth. By the way. What's up? By the way, I forgot to ask you guys this, because I never got your input on this. You guys listened to the, at least the beginning of the shoe-on-head episode, right? Yeah.

How'd you like that intro? That was really cool. That was really cool. I was, I was proud of that. I think that's kind of a good theme going forward whenever you have a guest. Yeah,

I like it a lot. It's kind of neat. So what are we going to do when Obama's on? Anyway, what are we going to do when Obama's all? You got an idea? We could have like, I have an entire flash drive

full of drone sound effects. Oh my God. Stop. We probably used a little bit of those. You know what's really funny? What's up? I feel like if he came on a podcast, he would disqual.

sway us because he's so fucking charismatic. We'd probably be like talking shit and then he'd be like, well, well, now me and Bo, my dog, um, we were talking about the whole bomb strike, me and him personally, you know, I can speak to animals. I'm, I was blessed and, uh,

you see, we realized the series had to get bombed. And, um, we did it. We did we have to do, right? But don't worry. Are you saying, are you saying that Obama is Dr. Doolittle? He's like, Dr. Doolittle. He's special. You're fucking disgusting. thing. He can tell he's different from everybody else. Me and my dog Boe here.

I kind of get it, though. I get it. He's done a lot of shit that angered me. He carried over a lot of things from Bush and kept a lot of his, you know, the same cabinet of all the people that were angry about were like, fuck Bush and his cabinet, his regime and a lot of them carried over. And I was like, what's happening? I'm angry. But whenever he talks about basketball, I just, I'm like, I can't hate the guy. He's just like, uh, March madness. Uh, and I'm like, oh, dude, that's dope. I totally agree with you. or when he was like celebrating the Lakers winning and shit. And he's talking to Kobe's talking shit.

And I was just like, dude, this guy's so delightful. And it completely erases any bullshit that he does. I love it. But before we dive deeper into talking about Obama's charisma and whatnot, I think we should, you know, leave behind that cutie and bring up something that, you know, it's kind of Netflix's elephant in the room. There's a big controversy going on. and we definitely should probably talk about it, right?

This movie, Cudies, has been kind of the talk of the town, I feel like for the last, like, it feels like a while, right? How long has this been like it? At least a week. I remember the advertisement came out. That's the summertime. I've been hearing about that shit. Is it not still summertime? No, it's not summertime anymore.

Well, technically, yes. Technically, season-wise, but it's what school started, so it's not summertime anymore. That's how you know summertime's over when school starts. Yeah, I don't pay attention to when school starts. It's a fall semester, pretty much. I'm, unfortunately. Yeah. I pay attention because traffic becomes fucking, like, just, it's overwhelming.

What, during the school time? Yeah, all these dumb-ass kids are coming back. Hundreds, if not thousands of people, are now on the streets when they weren't. So it becomes, like, way fucking worse. Yeah, yeah. You guys ignore the stop sign that pops out of school buses, right? Like, you guys do that, too? I try to hit it, actually.

You try to hit it. I try to grab onto it. I sometimes try to throw rocks into the windows, you know, just, you know, kind of shake them up, dude. Kids need to get, kids need to toughen up. Anyway, this fucking movie's been making the rounds because it's, uh, a pretty controversial. I would like to, it would be like a really understating, a really understating way of describing it. Uh, it's about what, like, a. year old twerkers or something.

It's like a French film, I think. Yeah. Or like some European fucking thing. Yeah, it's French. But it's pretty uncomfortable. It had, I think there was like a cancel Netflix hashtag happening on Twitter because it was like, hey, Netflix is a supporting pedophilia with this movie. I got, I got to be real. I haven't, I haven't bothered to watch this thing.

I mean, who? Who has? Once you hear that kind of stuff attached to it, you're like, oh, I'm just going to stay away to be safe. Well, you have to assume, right? Like, my, your basic assumption is like, it's on Netflix. It can't possibly be that, you know, because it's on fucking Netflix. Well, so like, well, to the, I don't know. Well, to the contrary, um, there shows that existed like toddlers and tiaras, which is

essentially the same thing to me where they're dressing up these little girls like, and they're being judged on their looks and stuff like that, where I'm just like, this is insane that this is on television, you know? Yeah, no, that's, that is a fair point. Yeah, no, Toddlers and Tiaras is so creepy. I always thought that that shit was fucking weird. That should be to me sick, bro.

Just anything that has to do with beauty pageants with kids is just like really, it's actually kind of astounding that, like, I would see that on TV and just think, like, oh, weird, and then just sort of like change the channel without actually, thinking like, oh, this is like kind of pedophilic, isn't it? Like, this is fucking really off-putting.

So I guess when I saw cuties, that was, I guess, like, a little bit more I guess, I don't even know. Like, what would you say? Like, blatant about it? Because it's about, like, this team of, like, 11-year-old girls who, like, joined this, like, twerking thing, this twerking, I don't even know, club, clan. I don't know how you would describe the shit.

The twer-clan. The twer-clan. No, but like you see these It's really weird because like at first to me Context is is really important Sure, it's like okay well I don't know what the context of this is But I also don't want to watch it because the nature of what the context is Is off putting and I know that like the message behind it is apparently like oh hey you know

The way that America sexualizes kids is really creepy and fucked up But it's like are you really doing anything to are you really doing anything to combat that when you just have to do it to make the argument? Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of different ways that could have gone about it. They could have gone about it differently.

Like you're still doing it. Yes. Like you're still doing the thing. I understand argument. It reminds me a lot of, do you remember the Rick and Morty Pickle Rick dude who would like, who jumped on the fucking McDonald's on the McDonald's countertop?

He's all ring and stuff. Yeah, he's like, oh, I'm Pickle Rick, I'm Pickle Rick. And then he seizes on the ground and they kick him out. And he was like, oh, I was just being a socially inept ape for like the meme. And it's like, okay, you did it ironically, I guess, to make fun of this group of people. But ultimately now it's like, you still ultimately just were that person. Yeah.

And no one thought it was, you know? No one thought it was ironic. They thought this guy was legitimately ringing and being stupid until he had an interview or something. You said reing? Way, way, way, time out. You said reing? Yeah. What is, what do you, yeah, yeah, you never heard of that?

No, what is reing? You never heard of re? Oh my God. You never heard of the screech, the re, the, the, it's, it's like, uh, I mean, it's a little offensive, right? But it's like the autistic screech. You never heard of that? Oh my fucking God.

You've never seen, I always hope better for you. You've never seen, always hope better than that. And then you always like, oh, it was this. You've never seen those memes? Like, there's a lot of there was not. No, have not. People make, you guys, I'm too busy watching people on Lively do fucking. fucks what was. Yeah, and that's like

and that's infinitely worse than this stupid ass meme that I'm talking about. Yeah, but it's like, bro, it's you, it's you and your narrative of the tism, bro. You have a very... No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm explaining you what it is. Sweeney, Sweeney, Sweeney,

you are uniquely ignorant in this regard. Like, everybody who listens to the show probably knows what that is. I've never heard that. You are in the fucking dark. I am. I'm clearly am. It's what you just had shoe on And she was, I feel like that was, I feel like she almost invented it. She really spread that shit like wildfire.

Hell yes. Yeah. I never knew that. Yeah. When I think of re, I think of Chu. I really do. I do too. Like it's that video of her like in the, in the Trump mask walking around.

Yes. Yes. Dude, that shit's great. Yeah. Like, come on, dude. I'm sorry. Get with the times. I'm sorry.

My bad. And I'm pretty sure if I remember correctly, the Pickle Rick guy was actually ring, like literally. I think if I remember. correctly. Yeah, he's like doing it like re or something. Yeah, no, he literally is. No, you're right. He totally literally is reing. But yeah, I don't know. The whole cuties thing to me, it's like it's just that to me where it's like, okay, you could, there are ways to say child sexualization is bad without straight up sexualizing kids. And, you know, I get that there's a greater context

to it, whatever. I feel like it still crosses like some kind of line. I think it definitely, Yeah, it absolutely crosses lines because to me there's no excuse to sexualized kids. The same line, by the way, I feel like I need to say this. The same line, by the way, I think is crossed by like toddlers and tiaras and those are like beauty pageants. I think they're absolutely. They're disgusting. They're disgusting things. Yeah.

And that's why there's a part of me, the only thing, the only thing that I, like to the people that are going hard in the paint, you know, protecting the children. The only thing that is sketchy to me is where I'm like, where the. fuck were you when toddlers and tiaras or any other weird shit like that props up like i didn't see anybody saying shit oh well and then now it's like become like this global disaster of a thing where i'm like dude i don't know i found this shit just as repulsive when i see any of the other stuff and i remember like watching south park and uh it was an episode about like people's souls being trapped in limbo and like they needed to take off and they couldn't because of michael jackson and then uh his soul possesses ike and um he wants to be like a beauty pageant thing like michael jackson

and I remember the judges like judging these kids and it was like these three old dudes like grabbing their dicks and like salivating and shit and I was busting up laughing because I'm like these motherfuckers understand they understand like who those shows are for like these fucking gross ass dudes

because I don't even understand like what parent would allow their children to do this and to me this is like kind of the biggest point about the cuties thing where I'm like would you if you had an 11 year old daughter would you find it acceptable for her her to be twerking and grinding her ass and whatever the fuck else they're doing, like, would you find it acceptable?

And I would assume that people would say no. So I'm like, why do you not have a problem with cuties regardless of the context? Like, there's actual children doing this shit. And not like, you know, to catch a predator, you know, to catch a predator would have those decoys and they were just young. They were adults, but they were posing as like 12 and 13 year olds and shit. I'm like, at the very least you couldn't have done that, like find some. young actor.

I know people that look very young, but they're adults. I'm just saying at the very least you couldn't have done that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I know what you mean. Like, yeah, it's the same thing. It's the same reason why a lot of those teen movies get away with so much, right? Where it's like, a lot of, a lot of, like, classic teen movies are like super sexualized. Yeah, it's like, uh, like American pie or like whatever the hell.

Yeah. But it's usually, it's usually like actors who are like in their fucking 20s who really don't look like teenagers at all. who are just sort of playing these characters, and that's kind of why it's fine. But also just because I feel like people just have a greater, I feel like people in general, like when they think back to high school, they remember just all the weird like hormonal shit. Like high school is a very like sexually weird time. Yeah, very in between as a person. Like there's a very in between space of you as like a being.

Yeah, I feel like everybody can like remember that facet and just sort of be. But like when you're 11, like I don't know about you guys, but like I, I, I, the last thing I was thinking about when I was like 11 was women in any capacity women women's rights just nothing honestly the latter still escapes me sometimes but like I didn't I didn't know like I assumed that I was straight I guess but I wasn't thinking about it I was thinking like oh man what's what's uh when's the next time I'm going to going to feel as happy as I did playing Spider-Man 2 for the Xbox again. Or like, oh, man, I wonder when they're going to bring chicken fries back.

You know, that was the shit that I was thinking about. For me, I know girls at all at 11. I know women did stuff and I knew they had like a place, a society. But I just, I just didn't know what it was. And I didn't understand why they were so annoying. I was like, I don't know. You're supposed to be around. But like, at the same time, you make me so mad because you're just mean to me for no reason.

Like, I don't know why you're here. I know why my dog's here. My dog is my friend. It protects me. My parents feed and protect me. But you, you don't fit the equation. So someone informed me. You're like a, you're like, uh, you're like, uh, those Skyra memes.

But instead of it being speech 100, it's like sexism. It's just like fucking bad. It's like legendary maxed out, dude. I'm not even, I got to reallocate those skills. I got to start back at 15. Go off from there. Yeah, that's fucking, but no, I totally understand, man, because I remember I have specific memories of being young, thinking I kind of knew what was going on. I remember having a conversation at that 10 or 11 with my friends about girls, and we didn't understand anatomy, obviously.

So we came to the conclusion, like, we're smart, like, oh, girls obviously pee out of their butts, you know, because they're not, they're not sitting, they're sitting down. It doesn't make any sense. So that's just the conclusion. Not having any like, not sexual thoughts, but just trying to figure shit out. And I remember I stole one of my uncle's pawns because it's always the uncle that has the fucking porns that you steal. And it was called Starbanger and it was a gang bang. And I was so confused. And I remember at the very end thinking this that, oh, like, why are they peeing all over her?

And like, it took a while for me and would get much older and be like, oh, they were coming all over her. fucking wild. I was so, yeah, I was so innocent. I didn't know what's happening. That's not even like in the cards when you're that young,

I feel like, I mean, like, I'm sure for some people, it's like you might be different, but I feel like, I feel like the overwhelming majority of people just don't have

any kind of experience like that or have any understanding. I think it might be like that. Until they're like in high school, like, even in high school, probably like, it's usually like maybe like,

maybe the second year before you start realizing like what you're supposed to be doing. Like, like, Ninth grade, for me, I remember just like, I don't know what the fuck was going on. I remember in ninth grade, it was just like, I guess, I, like, I knew, like, in ninth grade that I liked girls, I guess. Like, I understood that, but I still didn't really understand what the fuck the point was.

But, no, I was definitely, I was definitely, I would say a little bit around that time when I was at least curious, like, say, like, steal the my uncle's porn. So I was totally like, I was, I was past the cootie part, but I wasn't at to the point where it's like, I want to, I, I don't understand, like, say the kids that are having kids really young. Like, I was like, what is, you have, what is this drive? I've heard arguments that it's, oh, it's the chemicals and the food, the hormones that's making the chickens and everything grow faster. That's making the kids grow faster. I don't know if that's true at all.

I just heard that because these kids are becoming hypersexualized to the point where when we were young, like, I didn't, I don't know. When I was 10 years old, I wasn't like, I need a fuck some pussy. Like, there was no zero thoughts of that. It probably wasn't until when I actually started getting in a, porn in like seventh grade when I was actually starting to like understand what was happening. And I was like, that seems kind of cool, but I still didn't do anything to like act upon that because it was still like kind of a fantasy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, whoa, this is wild. Like, this is crazy. And then, you know, in high school, is when it was like, I think I'm ready. Like, my pits are way sweatier. Like, I'm fucking, you know, like, I think my, my dick's way harder now because it's just like, you know, it was like, I was like maxed out like the testosterone. So it was just like, yeah, we're good now.

it's what can actually start hunting, you know? Yeah, I think the age in general, I think the age in general is just like where the, where the problem really is. And it's just like, ah, this is like you sound. Yeah, they could have went about this in a myriad of different ways. And they just seem to go like a complete fucking, but what pisses me off, honestly about it is like,

there's a lot of people on the internet who are like, they have these like stupid farcical, arguments where it's like, oh, I'm sorry that you found this. I'm sorry that you found this. I'm sorry that you found this, this movie arousing, just because you're pointing out that it's like sexualized

and it's like, what the fuck? Are you fucking joking, dude? I hate that. I hate what people trying to flip shit on me, like, I'm the fucking villain when I'm obviously pointing out

something fucked up. Like, that shit gets me heated. It's just like, oh, you, so clearly, since you're noticing, it's clearly attracting news, it's like,

no, that's what someone that as an adult does to attract someone else and a child's doing that. That's fucked. That is fucked up. Like,

the argument would be, if, If someone genuinely believe that, then they would think that if kids were fucking, they would be like, well, since I don't find it attractive, it's not sexual. Like, are you fucking high? Are you fucking, what is wrong with you? That's totally it. What a stupid argument. Some people are just fucking, some people are just so fucking.

Like, what are they doing? Like, see, to me, it's like, it's either, number one, you're trying so hard to be a contrarian, or number two, you like fucking kids and you're trying to like subconscious. consciously defended or something, because I don't understand that line of thinking of why would you, because even if I was indifferent, I would still be like, yeah, I can see how that's kind of wrong, so I would be fine if it was gone. You know what? Even if you kind of weren't that bothered, be like, yeah, you know, that is probably crossed the line. I don't know.

It doesn't bother me, but yeah, it probably shouldn't be up there. I don't know. Like, what's going on here? Why are you defending this shit? What is that? Yeah, I feel like the middle ground opinion to me is just like, hey, I don't know the full context of this because I haven't seen the movie

but it seems really questionable and it probably should be re-evaluated. That to me is like that to me is like the basic like reasonable opinion because like I haven't seen it and like it bothers me to criticize like on a base level it bothers me to like

criticize something so heavily without understanding the full context of it because it goes against like typically like how I operate but I just think this is such a uniquely off-putting situation where I just, I feel like, I feel like I don't really need full context. Because it's not, it's not, it's not a, the, the plot isn't the fucking problem. That's, that's, that's the thing. It's like, who they use to express this. Yeah, yeah. It's not the plot or the message. It's

literally just the, the, the, the actions that the studio took to make it. Yeah, because, like you said, you brought up American Pie or something, or one of my favorite movies is varsity blues. And, And my mind actually, I know they're in high school, but my mind forgets about that because they're clearly not. James Vanderby, any of those fucking people are clearly old as shit. And like, say, when the scene comes up with a chick and the whip cream, she like wants to bang him and stuff because he's the star quarterback now. And it's like a really hot scene for like a team. You're like, yeah, that's fucking badass. But I don't see them.

I never saw them as my fucking equal, even though I know they're playing high school football. You know, and it's totally fine. because if you got actual teenagers to do that, that'd be gross. It would be statutory. It would be fucking nuts. It would be like, yo, I don't think you can do this. What the fuck?

Like, it creates a problem. What was that Disney Channel movie where like at the end? I think you guys know what I'm talking about. But at the end, there's this like kid. He's like 12 or 13 and he kisses this like grown woman. And like, oh, you're talking about you're talking about Blank. Check. You're talking about a blank check.

Is that what it is? Right? Are you talking about that old movie where this kid, you know, he fucking scams this, he gets a blank check and then he buys all this shit and then he gets this limo pretending to be like the assistant of this guy and she's like helping him out with all this stuff. And then they're playing by the, uh, the jet sprinkler things. What are they called? Those, it's like a water system when they do all those patterns and stuff.

You know, like you'll see it at like Disneyland or whatever. It's just all the, it's all those, the water things. They're shooting up and they're making patterns and there's colors usually. They're like playing in that thing and then she fucking kisses him on the mouth. Like you're you're too young but like it still kisses them. And I'm like scratching my head like this is we are you always say imagine if this was flipped. Yeah, yeah. It's totally 30.

But I think I don't even know if that's the same movie because the movie I'm thinking of it's the movie I'm thinking of is like at the end this I think like the end it seems like a scene that would be like towards the end of a movie like this but it's like a disney channel movie or like like like like a tv nick movie like something like that and or like one of those like uh what was channel 49 back home fucking abc family or whatever it's like one of those and and um it's just this young kid and this this older woman kisses him clearly like in her late 20s like early 30s maybe and the kids like like either like 11 or 13 like one of those ages or in between. I'm assuming you're talking about the same movie.

I think you're talking about Blank Check. I'm going to send you the link right now. It's the fountain. It's there in the fountain. Does he go? This is it. This is what you're talking about. I remember this.

But does he say like, oh, in like five, in like six more years or something? I probably. I'm going to look at it. There's a scene where like, something like this happens and he goes like, oh, I'll hit you up in like six years.

And she goes like, oh, I'll wait for you or something. thing. I don't know if this is the same, because this kid doesn't look like the kid that I'm remembering, but like either way, the fact that this is a trope at all is like really, really weird. But yeah, no, like, I remember seeing shit like that and being like, this is uncomfortable. Is this she like way older than him? But that's, I don't know. That's just, I, people are weird. This is weird. This is weird. No, yeah, this is it because I'm, okay, hold on. Yeah, yeah, it was probably right. Yeah, that's it. I remember that to me myself. And I was like, this is strange. Why people are weird. Yeah, I'm going to assume the actual, because

Somebody made a Law and Order meme of it, of course, after they're, like, talking about the... Yeah, yeah, that's totally it, yeah. Yeah. Dude, and here's the funny thing. Blank Check as a kid was one of my favorite movies because I was like, oh, imagine being like having this situation and stuff. And, of course, I thought there was nothing wrong with that at the time because my mind wasn't thinking about that. It wasn't thinking about, like, I don't know, I didn't even want... That's the interesting thing.

You know, when people say that, like, oh, lucky you, you got to bang your teeth. teacher and stuff. Um, when I was that age, the age of that kid, I wasn't thinking about banging teachers and stuff or anything like that. So it's always kind of slightly. I would think about kissing girls. Yeah. So it's, it's so weird that they did this and then it aged so fucking boy. When I was that age, I didn't think about kissing anything actually. Kissing anything was gross. My grandma, give me kiss on the cheek and I'd be like, I don't want to kiss you, grandma. Kissing is icky. Something I want to kiss is my food. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just, I think I'm. Yeah. I think I was like, I think I was, because, okay, I actually, because the show Doug, I was inspired to write a journal.

And, dude, yeah, I was a fucking kid, dude. You can criticize me, but I was fucking a kid. You know, it's like, of course, you're going to criticize kids for doing a bunch of stupid, cringy shit. Of course. And, but the cool thing is, it's a time capsule that I checked out when I moved and I was reading some of it. and the stuff that I wrote in there I thought, and this was maybe I was like 12 just about to get into middle school

or something like that, or maybe I was. And I legitimately was like, oh, I think this girl likes me, this girl likes me and stuff, but I never did anything. I never talked to them, not really. I was just like friends, but the way that I wrote was as if like, I knew something was going to happen.

Like, oh yeah, you know, like maybe, maybe I can get. I was basically almost like emulating Doug where he's, trying to fuck patty mayonnaise when I totally understand that because when you're a kid you just emulate the shit that you see because it's just like oh that's just how that's just how that's just how that's just how people are supposed to act right like they're supposed that's why it's like always really cringy when you when you watch kids like lie like whenever a kid lies to you because the only real examples of lying that kids see is like obvious lying on television shows so they

actually like they give themselves they give themselves like away whenever they like no i would never do that that's not what happened and it's like you're fucking lying why does your voice go up like two octaves you little dumb bitch why are you fucking shaking your head like that yeah they literally like telegraph their lies because like to them that's like the way you lie and it's it's kind of it's it's it's annoying but it's interesting or just like the way that they try to like the way that they understand like the basics of like reverse psychology but they don't really understand like how to do it like i remember my uh my nephew when i was home for for one of the christmases this past these past few years he was like man i i really he came up to me he's like man i really want to play the xbox today but i

i just don't know why as if i was like supposed to be like tricked into letting him play my Xbox or so it was really weird like yeah i don't know why it's really strange it's like no it's strange you know they made this thing because people like to play it should have shoved them he'd fucking shove him like that don't don't fucking don't fuck with me what is that just ask that's what you gotta drag him outside to the front of the house give him some boxing gloves like every Hispanic uncle does and be like all right so we're fighting now we're fighting now right so we're gonna be out here for a few hours yeah no no no Puerto Ricans what is that boxing we're not Irish bro we're not prize fighters

all of my uncles did that shit bro literally I kid you not every time I'd go stay my uncle Lewis every single time, every time I would come home with fucking bruises and my grandma would be like, what happened? And I would say I fell or some shit because I don't heard of yell at him. And then one day my older cousin,

no, he would make all the kids box. All the little boys would fight each other. Your uncle made little boys fight each other? Yeah, a big little family fight club, bro. And every time, like every fucking time, dude. And then literally, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, little, little, so. So it was your family.

It would be me and all my other male cousins would be over there. Okay. All right. And we'd be like just fighting. I want you to understand, given the context of what we've just been speaking about. The way you said that sounded like your uncle ran a bit of a club in which the local neighborhood little boys would gather at his place to fight each other. It's the fucking gravel pit. I mean, look, look, I understand.

My uncle would make all of the other cousins fight each other. Because the other uncles would just drink. They would just drink and they'd watch us fight each other. And I remember doing that too in Puerto Rico. We would go over to fucking, we'd go on Orancho and we'd fight each other. And it's like, what the fuck? What is wrong with you guys? That's not really, let's not real.

That's Hispanic shit, bro. It's Hispanic. No, no, no. That's not Hispanic. Absolutely it is. Because I lived it. Chris. Chris.

I lived it. Look, look. I don't, I don't know too much about the other. countries and Hispanic countries, but Mexico boxing is their sport. Like that's, it's football and boxing. They're like, they're like on the same level. And just being

like a Mexican fucking prize fighter Mexicans are boxers? Absolutely. Yes. Absolutely. Some of the best boxes around now are Mexican. The most famous boxer right now is like the pure boxer of the Mayweather's been retired or kind of, but fucking Canelo Alvarez. Even though

he looks white, he's a whitey. Irish is shit because he's he's he's super pale and redheaded because you know obviously Spanish came over and fucked everybody but uh so he's no no no he's pale and redheaded he's Irish dude no he's Portuguese he's Mexican he's definitely a Mexican because

because Spanish people are white in Europe Spanish people are white because it's Europe they traveled to Mexico and fucked everybody and there's a lot of them that have like almost no fucking native Indian jeans left in them because the Spanish fucked it

of them. So Canello is white as shit because of those jeans from up there. And but he is Mexican as shit because that's all he knows. He was born in Mexico. And he's an amazing boxer. I mean, there's, look, look, look. I understand. I understand. Hold on. I understand that he's culturally Mexican. But you, you show me a Mexican man who is pale with orange hair. And I'm going to have to tell you it's like, okay, yeah, he's Mexican, but he's very clearly also Irish. No. Like, that's Irish DNA to a T. I would just say that's a Mexican man.

I'm like, oh, where are you from Mexico? Oh, you're from Mexico? You're clearly a Mexican person? That's it. You don't think he's got Irish DNA in there? He might very well have Irish DNA, you know? Not might. Not might, dude.

Absolutely. But look, well, let me explain. There's also a bunch of dark-skinned Mexican to box. You don't have to just be Irish to be redhead. You understand? I never see a single redhead that isn't Irish or Scottish in some way. I mean, they're usually from there. It's usually, and it's usually, and it's because of,

of it's because of the the climate right but you can be in the UK as well you can be in a lot of those climates over there where it's just like it's not it's not like say you know your redhead is just completely that means that you're i know no stop but dorian has right here actually he's white with red hair he's a salvi he's got irish in him you might i promise you but let me let me let me finish this on the caribbean islands bro if you cannot fight if you cannot fight you are going to be attacked by everyone of your family. Yeah.

Obviously. In general, in general, everybody has to, in general, everybody needs to know how to fight. So they make the boys fight. But I'm saying like as a stereotype, they make the boy's fight. As a stereotype, the stereotype of a prize fighter is typically Irish. That is, that is typically what it was. Not anymore, dude. Not anymore.

It's different now. If you're in a boxing, like it's fucking, there's one of the one of the best boxers, I'm Roberto Duran. I think he's from Panama, if I remember correctly. Oscar Delahoya. and there's just like these famous boxes throughout the 80s and then there's all dominated by black people it's it's it's a lot it's well it just depends on the

it depends on the class yeah it depends on the weight class because like say there was um there was like say middleweight back in the day there was these huge like um and welter way there was like a lot of just like mexicans killing it and like right now like I said if you if you pay attention to boxing like the the fucking uh canela Alvarez and it would always be Conello and uh, uh, uh, Triple G this Russian. They were always going ahead. They're like two of the best in their weight class.

But then right now it's a fucking UK dude, you know, Tyson Fury in heavyweight. But it shifts. But one thing for sure, like, um, uh, who was the heavyweight champion for a little while because he beat this guy Anthony Joshua was from the UK. Um, it was this, um, I can't even remember his name, but he's this Mexican dude, chubby Mexican dude. Oh, yeah, the chunky fool. He was the first heavyweight champion.

It was like a rocky situation because he got an opportunity. And he actually beat him. And it was, the Mexico exploded. Like, you know, like, my, my homies that are from, like, Obergoin and stuff, or Sonora, whatever. They were like, holy shit, finally the first heavyway Mexican boxer. It was a huge deal. Like, it's a huge thing over there. I can't remember his name because he was so, like, it was such a one-off thing.

He won, though. He won his fight, though. He won his fight. He did, but he fucking got, she got destroyed in the rematch, though. But anyway, anyway. I don't know. I don't know. My experience is just like, my family's just a bunch of drunk people.

That's, you're, you're lucky. You're lucky. You didn't have to fight your fucking cousins and go with bruises. And I mean, I would win sometimes, but I wouldn't often win. Sometimes I'd get my KOs and I'd beat up my cousin, but sometimes I'd be like, yeah, I really don't want to do this. Then my older cousin went and then he hurt somebody. And then my grandma found out and then she tried to kill him.

He was like, I'm going to fucking kill you if you do that again. It was hilarious. Yeah, no. My experience was just like a bunch of, a bunch of fucking, everybody had Coquito forever. It was basically it You had a nice Perusin family We had like fucking warriors

It was pretty good You guys were very like Civilized and We're just like Yeah like boxing the Yeah because I agree with I agree with Sween man I've seen it

It's really really bad I hated going there Most of those homes I'd go to My homies houses There's like boxing gloves Hanging up somewhere There's like just And I'm not even sure

I'm like Are they actually boxing or was it like a dream Of their dads at some point Or something like that There's just some type of It might be more of a Mexican thing, but I don't think it's, I really don't think it's Puerto Rico. I feel like if you're fighting each other, if you're like Caribbean, you're fighting each other, there's no fucking boxing gloves happening. Nobody's putting on fucking protective gear for that.

You're just probably fighting over some fucking weed or something. As kids, you're not going to let the kids, the thing is that if you're doing it and you don't want your kids parents to find out you have to put gloves on until you don't bust up your hands in your face. But the adults aren't doing that, though. It's the kids doing it of their own volition in Caribbean families. I feel like the kids just fight each other. You know, the kids, the kids will fight each other like it's like they want to kill each other. It's fucking insane. Like, they're not going to put on boxing gloves or like put on like a fucking little helmet.

No, it was no helmets. It was just gloves. You put on gloves. You know, I saw one of my, that's it. I saw a kid in my neighborhood dangle his little brother off the fucking fire escape. That's so not fucking. I care. That's really cool.

It was only the first, it was only the first floor. So it was funny. Okay. I guess. I mean, I guess. I guess that's funny. Dude, I was fucking. cracking up. I was like, I don't know what the fuck could have possibly instigated this

altercation, but like one's, one of them is clearly winning. Are you, are you guys, if you guys have kids, are you guys going to like try to like put them in anything? If they want to be, if they show a natural spark and they want to be in, I'll do it. But if they don't want to do that, either they're going to get good at something or they're going to study a lot. So they got to make it, they got to make a choice. I'm going, I, I'm planning on intentionally starving them of. resources. Oh, that's cool.

You're gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna raise little psychopaths, man. No, I'm saying like if, I, I don't think kids that are raised in well-to-do households are stable people. I think, typically speaking, I feel like they need to, you can't, you can't grow up in like Beverly Hills, you know what I mean? Like, I think it just fucks you as a person. I think your morals, morals are fucked. I feel like you're, you're, you're, you're soft.

I don't, I don't know about it. Not even that you're too soft. I actually think they're just more likely to be sociopaths. I think genuinely, like, it fucks you up because you don't know what it's like not to have shit. So even if I do, if this is like best case scenario, if I'm like somehow a millionaire and I'm like really well to do, I'm going to live in like an apartment. I'm going to get like bare minimum shit. I'm not like I just won't. I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to like give my kids like a fucking five star existence. I mean, look, I think you can live in a nice house but just. make them earn their shit. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. You have to make them earn it. It's like, it's like the Asian communities that I've lived in or like some of my friends, a lot of them grew up wealthy because their parents busted their ass, but their parents came down on them with fire and fury if they didn't act right. And it kind of taught them discipline. And they're so brilliant. Like, some of my friends, like, one of my friends was a fucking prodigy, like guitarist. And he's so casual about it because it's not his passion. He was just like so disciplined and learning stuff. where he's like, yeah, I'm fucking essentially could, he could really be a rock star if he wanted to. He's like, his mind's that brilliant. But he's like, I just want to go into nursing.

And I'm just like, oh, okay, all right then, man. It's crazy seeing the type of household he is in. But I think, like, you know, there's also that aspect of it. It's almost like growing up in a broken home with them being so, the parents being so, like, crack down hard on their kids. And it's more of like, you're disappointing if you bring in anything less than perfect. So I guess to a certain extent,

there's still some type of struggle that they learned from. I was definitely the kid that had the parent that was like, you got to bring in straight AIDS, you got to do all this crazy shit. And then when I started rebelling, I started rebelling really hard.

Because that happens to where you just, like, you completely withdraw some of it. Because like I wasn't poor. My grandmother was adopted. And then like, I never got shit. Like, it would be times where like, kids that were poor were telling me shit. And I was like, why do I relate with this?

My grandmother lives in a fucking condominium that she had fucking belt for itself. And I'm like in Poughkeepsie just like kids like, yeah, I can't get this. My grandma's my parents that I get the money for it. I was just like, my grandma just said I can't get it because you just don't want me to have it. I'm not even doing bad at school. So like for me, like, I taught me how I had to like get my own stuff. And like it made me respect her money because it was like her money is her money and my money is my money. And I respected those two things.

But like there's nothing wrong with when your child. excels rewarding them for excelling because that's how the world's supposed to treat you know that teaches your that teaches your kid actually that they deserve what they work for also it also filters back into that mentality so my kids if they do good if they exceed my expectations if they do fantastically i will reward them but if they just fuck up then i'm not going to reward them right but that's the thing it's like if you're just if you're if you're like well-to-do and you're just constantly like giving them everything. Showering them.

Yeah, you shouldn't do that. That's what I'm saying. It's like, if they do get that reward, they're just going to be like, oh, whatever. You know, because it's like they're already used to just having the best shit. And, uh, I don't know. I feel like I would hate to have a kid like that. I feel like that would loathe and I don't want to loathe my child.

Yeah, it's scary. That's insane. I thought about that too. Like, what if you don't like your kids? Then you move them into, uh, you, you, you just move up. You just be like, hey, go live on your own. live in like one of the, I don't know, one of the places that's currently on fire right now. That's insane. It's like, oh, yeah, I have a son and he raised him and I gave him anything

he wanted and he still turned out be a piece of shit. I don't like his personality at all. In fact, I kind of hope he dies. I really think that, uh, for at least for one I see, I think a lot of that shit can just be avoided if you develop like a real bond with your kids and not just like, here's a kid, you know, like there's, there's a difference where like, say the way that I grew up, even though I'm totally cool with my mom, we didn't like say, we didn't like hang out. You know, we didn't, we didn't ever, like, the only time I wanted to show her something when something was really funny or whatever.

But other than that, like, we didn't like say, hey, let's go here. Let's do that. Like, she was doing her own thing and I was doing my own thing. And, you know, we're still cool. But, like, there's no, like, you know, like, hey, mom, you want to go catch this move or you want to go to dinner or something like that. And what I would like to do, you know, having kids is development. that type of rapport where they actually see me as like, hey, I generally want to hang out with

this person. You know, like, I actually enjoy this person's company. And I think there's like so many kids that just do not, like they, they can't see their parents in that light at all. And I think that's kind of like, becomes how there's that separation that, where they become very different people. Because I see these families that I get so tripped out on seeing like the siblings. They're so insanely close. The parents are so insanely close. They go on family vacations like once a year, some shit like that. And me, like,

we had a little bit of that. Oh, let's go to Vegas or whatever. Let's go to Laughlin, you know, but I still didn't hang out with my fucking mom or nothing. I was just in the arcade. I started hanging on my grandmother when I was like 22. Like 21, 22 is when I started like became friends on my grandmother. But the thing is that I don't really believe in the whole being friends with your children when they're actually children thing.

I don't agree with that. I don't necessarily see it as I don't see, I'm not even talking about the friend aspect, like say you treat them as a homie so you don't discipline them like a parent. I'm just talking about like really being in the presence. Like, you know, I really like my mom. I want to hang out with her. I just mean like that. Like I enjoy being around my mom because she's a fun caring person or something. It's more of like that type of.

It's more of that type of feeling or not just like I, you know, oh, this is my homey. I'm trying. I guess there's a separation. what I'm trying to say? Yeah. I want my kids to like me. My personality lets me know that I'm pretty sure I'm going to be like a likable dad. I'm going to be like a probably very cool parent.

And my kids are going to like me for the most part. But the idea is that I also don't really need my kids to like me. I just want them to respect what I do for them. I don't really need my kids to be like, oh, my dad's the coolest dad ever. I want my kids to be like my dad did everything he could and he provided for me. That's all I care about. That's it's totally fair. That's totally fair.

That's my only focus. I don't give a fuck if they like me. As long as I know I keep them safe and I feed them and I clothe them and I have a place where they can live, then like, I'm fine with that. Your kids are going to hate you. I don't know why?

Because you're going to, you're going to write their names on their birth certificates and you're going to misspell both of them. And then they're going to have to go through life with like stupid fucking names. Then that's fine. I'll have them simple names. Simple. Or I just have my girlfriend name them.

Easy. You're going to have to, you're going to name your, you're going to name your, son like Tom and it's going to have like the symbol for boron instead of the O like with the O with the line through it he's just going to have this fucking kid

who's like I don't know how to... I was going to be fucking cool. I was going to be fucking cooler than Tom. No, because he can't type his name. He's going to fail. He's going to fail the SATs because he's going to be able to get his name right. He's just going to be like, that's not your name dude. There's no way that's your name.

You fail. Look, if you fail, if you fail the SAT because you spelled your name wrong, Then there's a bigger problem than just having a fucked up name. First and foremost. I remember there was like a thing. Because it's, it's, dude, you get like a dismal amount of points for spelling your name wrong. Like a comedically low amount of points.

That's not what you should be focusing on. If you spell your name wrong, you get a small amount of points for spelling your name wrong. Yeah, it's part of the, you get points spelling your name right. No, just writing your name. Just like putting your name on the test. Yeah. Just spelling your name on it. You get a small amount of points.

That's all I did. that's all you did damn yeah I just wrote my just wrote my name down I just came on my paper and I was like I'm done with this I actually did super well I actually did super well on the on the English part and then like the math part I just completely fucked the SAT wasn't hard because it was just shit you learned throughout all of high school which is not anything hard no the hard the hard part was like calculus like oh this is kind of difficult yeah but yeah but schools don't really teach you anything really though it's like they just sort of say like hey here's um memorize this for the test, then when the test happens, you can forget everything. And that's kind of like to save storage space in my brain.

I was like, all right, well, I'm done with this. I don't need this shit. Fuck this. Dude, that was the secret of summer school where I would tell people, like, if you really want to get through something that's difficult, take it in summer school. Because it's jam-packed in a small amount of time. That's the right idea, actually. So, like, when I was taking- You're right?

Yeah, yeah. Dude, when I was taking, like, say, I hated geometry. And so I went to, I went to Geometry honors in the summer because, you know, Literally they would teach you the shit And then at the end of the day They would give you the test And I was just like, this is, why isn't everybody doing this? It was, I've aced it

And then I forgot everything It was great because like, I'm not gonna be an architect I'm not gonna be, I'm not a fucking billiards player You're gonna fuck about geometry The geometry is like the only math That I did fucking perfectly And like I was a fucking Well, geo is like, it's just like the way you think about

Thanks for dismissing my intelligence I'm not saying it's I'm not saying it's I'm not saying it was like I wasn't a very hard math No no it is it is the easiest math I think Aside from like algebra Algebra is probably a little bit easier

But algebra isn't basic algebra is easy That's what I said It's different though Trigg is again right now College of a Trigg It's really fucking crazy Yeah no fucking crazy Trick is stupid

No dude But honestly Honestly fuck anything After like advanced algebra Because it's just It's you don't need it That's what that's what pisses me off. Geometry, I just remember being fucking easy because it was just like shapes and shit.

And like you kind of like at a base level, if you've lived in Manhattan, like that's like geometry is just how you get around. Just like, oh, up one over one. Literally. It's just a bunch of fucking, it's a grid system. And it's just based on degrees and shit. It's like, oh, I know exactly how to get. You know what I realized today walking around because I'm in the city right now? And I was walking around earlier.

And I realized that the Joe's pizza in Union Square. is like my north star and everything everything that I can get to is in relation to that place. Like, oh, that's up 53 blocks and over two. And I'll know exactly how to get there. For me, for me, geometry was just like, there's a shape and there's a way you define the area of this shape. Because this shape's area equals this sort of, you know, equation. And that's very simple. It was like you're pinning something's math to a shape.

that's easy. It's visual math. It's just easy. Yeah. But most times though, I'm like, so I was trying to think of like everyday things other than when I was playing like fucking basketball and when I was playing when I would play pool a lot, I would use geometry as shit, especially in pool. Like it's obviously like billiards is defined by that.

But and I'm trying to think of like everyday things. I'm like, when am I really using it? Like I was like maybe when I'm measuring certain things like I was measuring the circumference of something so I can make a whole. whole. But then, like, I was thinking besides that, I'm like, I don't really need to know, like, diameters and I don't need, I don't really need to know the names of angles. Like, what is the point of me knowing that this is a fucking acute angle? Like, I don't understand. This is obtuse. What is that? What is that? What is that? Realistically, there's no math that you really

need in, in the modern day, because you could just Google everything. Well, no, you need algebra. I do think true. You can, you can, you can, you can Google any problem that you would need. That's, that's very true, but you shouldn't need to take out your phone to solve basic problems. That's dumb. No, I know. I agree. But what I'm saying is like for geometry and stuff, it's like, you know, a lot of that stuff is like not super necessary, but it's like

I would argue geometry really comes into play like the second you're like a homeowner and the second you start like building shit or the second you're like, like, because I remember just thinking like, because I wanted to hang shelves in my, uh, in my room. And I was thinking like, fuck, I need like all these tools.

And I remember how to do it, but like I just needed I just needed geometry that I hadn't used in a while and I was like, oh shit, all right, well, let me see if I could dust this off. I haven't done it yet just because I don't feel like doing it, but it really does come into play. Like, if you're making like cosplay or shit, like that's totally fucking important. If you're building, if you're like a prop maker, it's a very, yeah, like carpentry. Like any of that stuff, architecture is like obviously like a big one because if you fuck that

up, people die. But like, yeah, I think for the most part. geometry is more of like a creative kind of like sculpting tool than anything. And like algebra is like oh okay like you know basic algebra like anxiety.

You need like you really really need algebra like that's like the most important form of math like on the planet. I know you do but I can't I can't think of an example of algebra that I've been used in the last. You use it probably like every day. You just don't think about how you use it every day

because you don't think in algebra. Whenever you're trying to figure. I actually use geometry. Whenever you were trying to figure out how so much something costs, how much something is, without knowing the defined amount or you don't know a certain part of how much something costs, and you're measuring out money, you're using algebra literally every time. It's used regularly. I don't think about that at all. Chris, whenever you're like, I want to do something, but I might not have enough time, it's just taking me this amount of many minutes to get there. But what if there's this thing that stops me or slows me down?

Like, whenever you're thinking about something where you don't have all of the variables, you are using algebra, which is used every. single day. I guess so, but I feel like, I really feel like if somebody took an algebra test and they got like 10% on it, I still feel like they could figure all that stuff out. They could figure that stuff out, but it could be easier if they just know algebra, simply. I guess so, yeah. Yeah. Do you, what was it?

You were saying? You ever get anxiety? Oh, yeah. I forgot. No, because we were talking about architecture and, like, building stuff. And, you know, if you don't build things right, people can die. And I was just wondering, like, if you ever get, like, an. anxiety when you see like a big structure or like it's usually when i'm in like a

hotel when i'm in like a hotel or something and i'm like what if just one little part of this was built wrong and then shit just starts collapsing like does do you ever have thoughts like that because i do sometimes and it like i feel weird i'm like i'd feel much safer being just on the top floor and smashing into everybody else than being one of the people that gets fucking pancake i don't know if you ever have those thoughts but i do just thinking about how lazy some people are and how some people are like they come around and inspect and they're like just no it's fine and they didn't even at it i assume in architecture i totally i totally know what you mean somebody like test the structures i mean like it's like how to explain like they test like they do like a 3d figure of the

structure and they test all the points that they're weighing things on before they do that because like things don't like most buildings don't just crumble you know these most modern buildings don't just fall the fuck over you know they got it down to a science man i i i've made my fair share of forge maps and i can tell you architecture is pretty fucking easy. Okay. So anybody who's out there who's like an architect, big fucking deal, uh,

it's easy, easy, easy, lemon squeasy, you know? Yeah. You ever see that episode of The Simpsons when they're building Flanders a house?

Oh my God. I remember that episode. It's so fucking funny. I haven't seen that episode a long time. It's so good. The master bedroom, it's so fucking, it's like the door could fit into your hand

how small it is, but like the illusion of it, it just looks like, you're walking down the hallway, but you actually get to the door. Dude, I love. Like, it's just like a,

it's so good. I do get that feeling on bridges a lot. Like, whenever I'm driving across a bridge, I'm never having a good time. Dude. It's just like, yeah.

Because in a building, like, if I'm at the bottom floor of a building, you know, all the floors on top of me are probably going to tumble down or like something. I'm going to get crushed or something.

If I'm at the top of a building, I'm probably falling out or like I'm going to die, whatever. But like, the thought of like a bridge collapsing and just me having such terrible luck that I just happened to be crossing this bridge for a maximum of like maybe three minutes I'm on this bridge

and that's the time that this bridge decides to come down as opposed to like a building that I'm in like all the time and I kind of can't avoid it that's the shit that fucking bothers me also I've just seen so many bridges just fall you ever see that that video this they showed this to me in high school and it fucked me up ever since. Like, I can't go on bridges without, like, having some, some form of, like, anxiety now. But there's this video of this bridge that's, like, twirling. Like, the cement is moving like a fucking, like a carpet or like a, like a blanket.

I've seen that. Oh, yeah, yeah. I've seen that, yeah. It just doesn't look solid. It's, like, pavement. It's solid cement. It's, it's brick. It's all these things that are made to build bridges.

But it's moving, like, fucking wall. water and it's like, that can happen? That is fucking insane. That's like if somebody's bones became like a fucking waterbed. It's insane. Well, bridges are meant to move. That's the point. Bridges are like meant to sway.

I understand. And you don't think about that. Even buildings are meant to sway. Like, you're in a city right now. The buildings in the city are meant to sway when the wind goes by them. I understand. You don't feel it. But when you see it is different.

It's one thing, though, to see it at that fucking velocity. because that, obviously, that bridge came down. Like, there was a famous bridge collapse. And it's like... Yeah, it was the Tacoma Bridge. I'm looking... Yeah. It's the most unsettling...

Anybody listening right now, look up Tacoma Bridge. It's... It's... It fucks you up. If you have any anxiety about bridges, it'll fuck you up. I'm not a big fan of heights in general anymore. Like, I used to be okay with heights. But ever since I broke my ribs from fall off that gate, like, heights have, like, had a different...

Like, I've gained a very serious level respect for heights. Like, very serious level respect for, like, oh. You know, I don't like planes. I don't like planes. Because every time. I hate it. Every time I look outside of a plane, I feel like I'm going to, I feel, every time I look outside of a plane window, I feel like I'm going to, I feel like icarus when he's falling. I just like, what am I doing here?

I like looking outside. I've overstep my boundaries. Yeah, I like looking outside on the plane. The thing is, it's just like you're so high that it doesn't even register as high. Exactly. Exactly. No, for me, that's exactly how I feel. see things moving.

And I'm like, this is what God sees us as. Why shouldn't be up here? But you're moving so... I'm overstepping my boundaries. You're just, you're, it's almost like playing an RTS almost where it's like,

this isn't real. Yeah. Yeah. It feels so fake being, being on a plane. I, I get nervous being on a plane, but it's really just the premise of being on a plane and,

and the thought of like, if anything goes wrong, even slightly, uh, You know, I'm just, I'm gone. Like, there's, there's no, there's no happy ending here. There's nothing. There's no, like, safe landing, really.

Like, I'm just done. I'm out. I'm out of the picture. I'm out of the game. My stuff is up for grabs. You know, nothing. My last tweet, what the fuck was, what the fuck was my last tweet? Oh my God.

You know. So I should always tweet something nice before you fucking get on a plane. Just, just, just seal it with the kiss. Yeah. Just put up, like, by the way, uh, um, everybody should love. one another and then you die and then like suddenly you're saying you fucking you just tweet the N word treat the hard art and then you just die you never have to explain it if you tweet you could tweet something absolutely heinous but then as long as

the tweet immediately after that is like be kind to one another and then you die everybody will be like oh man what a what a kind what a kind soul that's not true if kem start tweeted be kind to each other and he freaking exploded I'd be like wow crazy huh you still sucks I mean he's different Keemstar's different though That's like You know It's like

He's a He's a little different In this case But he's a little different Like you've seen I don't know I don't know about you But I've seen

Plenty of dead insects In my life And I never thought anything I thought anything If somebody shoots A rat just died Not an animal Just died

A rat just died I would feel bad Rats are cute Yeah sure Um What's next You got any questions Yeah we got some questions

we got to hold on on on on I just realized that we didn't talk about con oh do we do we want to oh my god that's gonna be the whole podcast thing

is we're gonna be we're gonna go on a roll we'll just we'll we'll make it brief uh okay if you follow us on Twitter or if you've even searched for this podcast evidently you might have you might have taken notice of another podcast that has used the name Snark Tank. It's another podcast, a completely unrelated podcast.

And I guess some of you have been confused and gone over to them and made shit hard for them or whatever the fuck. I don't really care. They recently renamed their podcast to contrivance, which I think is a worst name, obviously. But they changed it. And instead of just saying like, oh, hey, you know, this podcast is being confused with this podcast a lot. So we decided to change the name. They took this weird moment out of one of their episodes to just announce like, hey, you know, we're changing the name because we don't want to be associated with potential white supremacists. And that was their reasoning.

And then they were unnecessarily, I don't know, to me, like, they could have said anything. They could have said, like, oh, we didn't want to be associated with, like, all, like, all, we didn't want to be associated with these stupid assholes, these stupid putrid low lives, these scum of the earths. And I probably wouldn't have taken notice of it. But, you know, if you're going to call me, like, if you're going to call us, especially white nationalists when your podcast is, like, hosted by, like, three white people, I just think that's kind of irritating and it's stupid. it's also just like completely false, which is the only thing, it's like, you could have called me an asshole and I would have been like, yeah, yeah, totally, yeah, that's fine.

But don't lie. They called me a white nationalist, me, me, the black man. That's my character point. I'm a black person. I'm pretty dumb. I don't even, I can't even get mad at it because I, that's, I honestly think, so this is what I think. I think that one, what happened was they,

someone told them that there was another Star Tink podcast, that was hosted by the three of us. They probably found you because you're the biggest person in our group, and they probably saw a lot of the stupid shit that people say about you initially. So before they took time to figure out that, this was a podcast that was hosted solely by minorities, they were just like, oh, potential white nationalists.

Can I stop you there? What's that? Because I actually was, it was brought to my attention because I thought after Chris brought it up on Twitter, that was going to be the end of it. It was funny. I woke up at 4 a.m. to take a piss, and then I see that, all that stuff,

and I was like, oh, it was pretty crazy. So one of them reached out, said, sorry, and I was like, yeah, fair enough, it was just funny. Like, it wasn't that big of a deal. But I'm assuming it's the girl that said it in the first place, the one that said, called us the potential white nationalist, because there was a post on their Twitter account explaining everything. It's five parts.

So it says, hello, fans of Snark Tank team, we'd like to apologize and clarify our statement of we don't want to be associated with potential white nationalists. This wasn't targeted at the show's black creators, but at Chris Reagan and his fan base. They are the problem. So that's the first part. So, and this is interesting because it goes back pretty far. Back in 2018, we were lightly brigaded by the Snark Tank fans just for having the name. At the time, their show's feed had been quiet for five months. We tweeted at them to ask about it.

We could have been more thorough. This led to us to learn about Chris in general. Yeah? Yeah. So if you're not familiar with Chris, please Google him and draw your own conclusions. Ours is he used to be a big shithead. Now he's a regular shithead who says problematic things for clicks while maintaining plausible deniability. Yeah.

This issue is the fan. This is the issue that his fan base attracts. And then it says, we don't care of Chris's personally racist, sex, et cetera. We care that many of his fans are because of his kind of content tends to be a dog whistle for bigoted and exclusionary ideals. Like, we can stop there.

We could stop there. Yeah, yeah. Dude, that's such an over, that's such an over-analization of a person. it's just like, bro, what? Let me translate it for you. Our podcast isn't good or popular, and we hate being confused with another podcast that is big and popular.

We wanted to change our name, and that's it. That's what that means. That's what that means is that they didn't want to be successful at the behest of other people that they didn't like. So they wanted instead to fail on their own behalf. And I, you know, that's commendable, actually. That's fine to me. I totally respect that. But you're not going to get any, like, they were messaging me.

It's like, oh, man. Yeah, like you said, like some of them were like, oh, I'm so sorry. Like, we didn't mean whatever. And it's like, bro, I'm not angry. Like, it's just stupid. And it is really stupid. You know, I don't even know what more to say about it because it's just so fucking silly. To me, the part about, like, say, looking in and drawing their own conclusions.

I have, I'm speculating that the girl that even said the potential white nationalist in the first place, she's the one that was aware of you from the beginning because if you do research, let's say you type in Chris Reagan's name in Google, the first thing that pops up, it just tells you who you are. And there's nothing that says any of those things about you that was described in those posts. So it lets you know that something happened like, oh, say it says often, criticizing social justice and feminism. That's what it says in your like Wikipedia or whatever. Maybe saw that as how dare he and then possibly maybe either it's either you were known about

before like and I'm saying I think it's her, the girl that said that or some of her creators that she follows like maybe some of her favorites they probably said because it sounds like you know the one that I we hear some of this stuff about you and it's coming from like the bread tube side like the hardcore political progressive ideologues like the ones that were the ideals basically dictates their entire being and that's the type of shit that you know because like there's a difference there's a big difference between just being like fucking progressive or whatever and being a fucking and attaching um an ideologue on it because i know let's say i know christian conservatives that i never hear from them they're just

i believe what i believe whatever and then there's the ideologues that are telling everyone they're going to hell and everybody that's gay is fucking problematic and all this stuff. And then same shit happens on any side that has their ideals just attached to their fucking idea, their identity through and through. So they're just like really troubled people. And that description of you on that Twitter was like, this is somebody who is an ideologue. And it's fucking ridiculous because just looking at Chris Raygun, looking at the front page of Google, there's zero of anything that says that you're that type of person or your fan bases or this or that. So the thing that's confusing,

the thing that's really confusing to me is that like, I don't know how many hosts this other majority white podcast has. But, you know, some of them, some of the hosts will reach out to me and they'll be like, they'll apologize and they'll sound like super sincere. and then the main podcast feed will be like, oh, well, this person's obviously like a problematic shithead. And it's like, I don't know what the fuck. This is the most schizophrenic group of people that I've ever seen.

Like, I don't know what the fuck they want me to think. I don't know what the hell their opinion is. So it's so fucking insane. It's just all over the place. It's just baffling. It doesn't matter, honestly. Like, they had a problem. So here's my message.

I would say if, if, just don't, don't go brigade him. don't spam them, don't harass them. Definitely not. Definitely not. Definitely not. That doesn't do anybody any favors. Just makes us seem like shitheads. And also, we don't really care. Like we, let's be real. Like, our podcast is, is better. It's doing better. It's fine. We don't need, we don't need to kick this other one while they're down. So just leave them alone, leave them be. I'll probably meme about it for a while. But, you know, don't actually like harass them or anything. Like it's it's not. Yeah, please don't guys.

That shit, that shit, all that shit does is just emphasizes more bullshit and it just gives it just gives them more reason to think we're X way when it's really not that big of it. Let them be. They said something stupid. They clearly understand how stupid it was what they said was. Let it go. Fuck it. Yeah.

Well, at least I can say some of them because I feel like the mastermind as not, unless, unless Chris, the mastermind of the post who I'm assuming, like I said, is the girl, unless she apologized to you directly. I don't know. I don't know, but I know like one of the dudes reached out probably. And I'm just, that's what I'm just assuming.

Not the, it's probably secondhand information. And I feel like one person was just like, I know this person and I know who these people represent. And I'm going to tell you what's the deal. That's what I feel like it is in. I probably criticized somebody that she really likes or something. Maybe she was like,

oh man, that Francesca Ramsey video was real mean. I don't know. Whatever, it's fine. Yeah, and that's the thing. Yeah, go ahead. But yeah, no, it's fine. We don't have to get super into it.

Yeah. Have a blessed evening, though, for real. Let them have a blessed day. Do your thing, y'all. Hope you guys succeed. Live long and prosper and all that shit. Yeah. Although I do have, I would say,

you guys sound a little wooden. That's not even me being mean. That's a genuine, like, maybe look to address that because it sounds like it sounds like watching like listening to a fake radio show on like a sitcom or something somebody people were like linking the

there's like this I guess this fake radio show from in a 30 rock episode that it sounds like super similar to where it's just very wooden so my advice to you guys would be sound more like people instead of you know walking husks

and that is my friendly business advice to contrivance and with that with that said, we've got some questions. Jackson Ab-Sage wrote in, and he said something very simple, simple, best party experience. What is the best party experience

that you ever had? And I couldn't think of one, but what this immediately reminded me of is the worst party experience that I'd ever had. Mine is the best and the worst at the same time. The time I kicked all over my dick was like a good time and a really bad time.

What? I had to walk home like a pink shirt. I told the story on the podcast before. I was going to sleep with a girl. I was going to sleep with the thing. the girl one time and I ended up getting like way too fucking drunk and I threw up all over myself and my cousin had to like come and bring me clothes but he brought me like a pink shirt and shit and it was really fucking embarrassing but also the party leading up to that I was on fire with

the girl like I was just like slinging my shit bro like I was like a wizard like they couldn't stop me I was just using all the right moves and then like I threw up all over myself I didn't get laid in the bathroom and I was like wow I just really this just really had some highs and lows tonight did you at the beginning of this did you say you threw up on your dick. Yeah, all over my dick. Oh, my God. All over my stomach.

My dick. My pants, just like that. All over it. I'm very, I'm very happy that I don't have any idea what that's like. It's just, it's just, you just feel disgusting. That's it. That's all you just feel like, oh, I'm a fucking piece of shit. Doesn't burn, though?

Like, it's like a stomach acid on there? No. It wasn't. It was probably burned a little bit, but I was too drunk because, like, I was a lot of alcohol. And, like, it was like a lot of alcohol, monster, fucking Red Bull. Oh my God. And like, like, fucking like hot dogs and shot dogs like burgers and shit. Like it was like a college party.

Like Yeagerbombs and stuff? It was not. It was mostly vodka shots. I didn't really fuck with Yeagerbombs when I was younger. I just did like straight vodka like fucking like Patron. I did a bunch of fucking Yeagerbombs at Vidcon, the last Vigcom that we went. Yeagerbombs don't taste good, man. Well, but they go down so quick.

Yeagerbombs are good. See, people usually use Red Bull and I think they're wrong. They need to use something sweeter. like Monster. It's say, Yeager bombs are way better with Monster, in my opinion. Jaeger bombs don't taste good to me, man. I think that's where people, have you ever, have you had a Yagerbomb with Monster instead of Red Bull?

I've had, I've had, I've had. I've probably have, when I was younger, I might have had it. But it's usually, usually I see all these scrubs using Red Bull, and I think that's wrong. I don't, I don't like it. I also don't like energy drinks in the first place, though, too. Well, yeah, that's why, dude, now they have, I was, for a while I was addicted to, uh, there's this, uh, fruit punch monster. It's, it's like, it's,

fucking ridiculous. It's like it comes in a pink can. And it's, it's fucking, and not like the zero sugar rose one, because there's a zero sugar rose one that's kind of pinkish. Don't fuck with that one. This one has sugar in it and it's like a punch. And I was addicted for a while. That's like this is way better than like cool later or anything I've ever had. That's not even fair because fruit punch is just such a good flavor in general. It is. Like that fruit punch, yo, fruit punch high sea, man. That shit's different. different man. That shit is still delicious.

Bro, what about the lava... You ever had that lava burst fucking high-see though? Yes. They would have at McDonald's and shit. It's been a long time. It's a long time since I've had that, but I remember that being good. That shit hits so different, dude. Like that, and I camp for the life of me.

Anytime I bring this up, and I must be missing something because anytime I bring that up, somebody like talks shit about Michelle Obama. And they said that like she had something to do with it. Yeah, like I guess she was trying to make America healthy or something. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She was like, she was like really on board with the whole like, um, like everybody must, everybody eat cauliflower on Halloween or, or, I don't know, something. Some nonsense.

But I was like, how true is that though? Because I'm like, it's probably not actually true. It's probably just something that's like loosely associated with her during the time that it stopped. It's like one of those. It was probably, yeah, yeah, it was around the same time, I assume. because what the fuck, dude? It's your best beverage at McDonald's. They got taken out.

Why? But anyway, what's your party story, man? Oh, my God. This is such a fucking awkward. So, of my main group of friends, I was the first, I was the first person to start dating. So I had a girlfriend before other people in high school. And we were all invited, we were all invited to this, like, house, party or something. It was like this, it was the first house party that I'd ever seen or ever been to or like anything. And we both went. And because we were like the only people there who conceivably like were dating in any capacity, they like, they, they like said, hey, you guys want to come upstairs and they pushed us into a room and locked the door. As if they were like, hey, go fuck in this room at this house party. And we're like, what the fuck? Teenagers basically.

it's the weirdest fucking shit and like neither of us were even close to ready for anything like that so we just sat there just like wondering like how long is it going to take for them to like open this this door was it like a seven minutes of heaven type of thing super fuck it was really weird it wasn't like it sounds worse than it is just when i'm saying it because like the vibe the vibe was a little bit more like ah ha ha and it wasn't like super serious it just felt really weird and i remember being like, what do we do here? So we just pretended? Like we just

like, we just like just made a bunch of noise in the room and like started like moving shit. And then we just, we walked out and we just like pretended that something had happened. And it was like a really weird, just a very weird aura to that day.

That's so fucking terrible. Before that, before all that happened, it was no, no, no. It wasn't sad or like traumatized. It wasn't sad or like traumatized. It was just, it was just like a really strange, like, I don't think that's ever really... Was this supposed to be your best party experience? No, it's the worst. This is the worst one.

Oh, that's what the question was? No, no, no, the question was the best one, but I couldn't, I can't think of a best one because like, typically... I was like, I was like, I was like, wait, this was good? I was like... No, no, no. The best party experience is probably, I don't know. I was probably, like, I was probably, like, blitzed out of my mind at, like, some place that I had no right to be at. And it was cool.

You probably don't even remember. You probably don't even remember the, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly, yeah. Yeah, okay, that's okay, that's for sure. I think the same thing. This is actually kind of weird when I think about it, because I forgot about this tour right now that I was probably in middle school

and my friend Cameron had a very rich friend. And she was having this birthday at this huge-ass house. And it was very inappropriate because the parents were downstairs, so there were chaperones, and the parents were getting fucked up downstairs. but everybody else, like all of us fucking middle schoolers were upstairs and the only supervision was really the DJ and her older sister, but they didn't give a fuck. So it was very like, it felt like how I remember the very small few clubs I went to as an adult.

The vibe was like that too. At the time, I thought it was so fucking cool, all this dancing and shit. I remember this fucking wild-ass girl with orange lipstick that I'm like, what the fuck is this? but I started like grinding with this girl. I remember being very like when I'm thinking about it at the time, I'm like, what the fuck was that? Like if that was stupid. But at the time it was really fun.

I felt like I felt like a fucking player, dude. I felt like a Mac dude. I was just like, yo, this is dope. I'm having a great time. But it was probably not, you know, like an adult like looking at kids doing it. It was probably really embarrassing and cringy. But as far as like having like a really bad experience, I remember the first. time because I never I didn't smoke weed till I was like 18 because I just never I never I never I

didn't need it really I just I because I would drink a little bit and I was totally fine with that but then my friend Brian was like almost upset with me that I had never smoked before he was like what the fuck like this is happening I don't give a fuck what you say so it was this pure pure pressure nice same and he and he had this like Superman Cush so my first smoking experience was some really good weed and I was already drunk and I was so fucked up to the point where I could barely walk and I thought we're all leaving at the end of the night to like just go somewhere and I was so fucked up I guess I heard something wrong because I got dropped off at my house and I was like what the fuck's happening like my car is still at the party like I drove

here and I thought we were going to like go to the heights or I thought we were doing something and they dropped me off and I was like luckily the liquor store. stores were open late around that time. And so I walked to this liquor store. I got fucking Doritos and like a Gatorade. And then I walked back to the party, which felt it probably took like 20 minutes because it wasn't that far away. But it felt like fucking hours because I don't even know how I didn't get picked up by

the cops because I was just, I was so fucking gone. You're just stumbling around. I was so pissed on my friends. I'm like, dude. what the fuck happened? Like, why did you drop me off? I thought we were, like, everybody was in a car, and it seemed like I specifically remember,

hey, we're going such and such. I'm like, my car's there. Why would you draw? Like, I still don't understand that. That pissed me off so much, but, uh, yeah. Good times. Good times all around. Lucky you, man.

What an array of stories. That's such a, not that bad time of a time of a bad party, but also, like, it wasn't had some good parties. And if that's like your worst one. That's actually, now that you said that, okay. So I don't remember if I mentioned this or not, because it just popped in my head as far as worse. There actually was a bad, I feel like I mentioned this to somebody at least.

I was in Norwalk partying with my old bandmates. And long story short, a fight broke out by my car, so they broke my side view mirror. While I was inside the party, I think I possibly might have gotten not intentionally spiked, but I think somebody was drinking some some bullshit mixed with their four loco and back then I usually just trusted everybody and I was like yo let me get a swig and I felt so fucking weird

and then a pit bull was in the backyard and bit my foot because I had flip flops on so that was actually I forgot about that experience right now because I tried to probably block it out of my memory Jesus sounds like a bad experience that was a bad fucking night I totally forgot about that

That sounds pretty fucking horrible Jesus goddamn All right What's the next one? What's another one of these? Mike Sapien Or Mike Sapin, something like that, wrote in, he goes,

Ahoy me, Snarkies. Have any of you seen Tenet yet? That movie is fucking nuts. Christopher Nolan actually crashes a plane for the movie. I'll be real, guys. I don't find Christopher Nolan movies all that impressive. I think they're fine.

They're interesting. I think the Batman movies are cool. That's Nolan, right? Yeah, yeah. I like Interstellar just because I like fucking sci-fi movies just in general. Yeah. I'm not to see. Sorry?

The premise of Interstellar is really cool. I like it. I like the, yeah, fucking wormholes and shit like that. That shit. Like I'm so curious about that stuff. So it's cool to see that. And to see like when he was actually passing through like the black hole thing. Like what they chose to do with it.

I thought that was pretty cool. But yeah. Tent, I've been seeing memes of it and like, gifts, but like, I don't know. I don't really care. I'm going to see it. I like Denzel Washington's son, so I'm going to see it. I think his name is David Washington or whatever his name is.

I'm definitely going to see it. I don't know that was a son. I was so fucking thrown off when I found out that was his kid. I didn't even know. I mean, it makes sense he has kids, but I didn't even think about it. He's a grown-ass man. He's a grown-ass man. I said, so weird. Like, oh, your kids can't be that old because Denso-Washington is that old.

That man's like 63 years old. He's a grown-ass man with kids who are grown-ass men probably at this point. That's weird. Yeah, his kids are adults. Then older than us, it's weird. Because I thought, I thought Denzo was like 52, maybe. Yeah, like, he's like 63. Like, my mom is, my mom is 59.

So, you know, I guess it makes sense. You know what I mean? Like, as a normal person having kids around in their 20s and then they grow up, but you just kind of like, you're so used to seeing these people on the screen, and they never have their kids in the picture. And then one day, oh, here's my adult son. It's like, what the fuck is this shit? Unlike Will Smith, who took the completely different route where he's like, yeah, here's my kids at every fucking waking moment.

He loves his kids. He wasn't going anywhere with all his fucking kids. I respect that too, honestly. I respect it, but then there's a certain, like, it could have gone so horribly wrong, like, say, and introducing your kids to the public sometimes fucks them up, like really bad. But Jaden, as weird as he is, he seems okay. Willow, relatively okay, you know, relatively. I think they're both fine kids. I don't think there's anything really wrong with them.

I think Jaden is just a rich kid that has like an open mind, I guess. And then Willis-a-girl. They're weird. They're weird. I don't think they're weird. You don't think they're weird? What are you stupid? They're definitely just like rich kids.

They're just like rich kids that I have the money. Have you seen Jane Smith's Twitter account dude? I don't think he's really that weird. He's just like one of those like free spirit kids. It's like, oh, yeah, let him let him do his thing. Have you seen his Twitter account though? I haven't seen his Twitter on a long time. I didn't even know he still posted on Twitter.

honestly. But do you, but no, but do you remember his Twitter account? He's, he's ended up on my Twitter trash like multiple times. Really? He's fucking weird, dude. He's the guy, like, who said, like, what if our eyes aren't real or something? That was him.

He was like, what if our eyes aren't real? What if the, what if the color of the mirror is the color of our souls or some bullshit? He's like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, he's one of those free spirit kids, dude. Yeah, he's a free spirit. No, no, it's a free spirit kid.

He's like, yeah, let him do his thing, whatever. He's not hurt nobody. That's not a free spirited kid. That's a kid, like, going to a fucking, that is a kid drunk out of his mind, probably high on something, tweeting something that he thinks to make sense. And then he wakes up in the morning. He's like, I guess I tweeted that, but I'm too famous to delete it because everybody knows about it now. It's just a mess.

Here's a cool one. The more time you spend awake, the more time you spend asleep. That's cool one. Oh, my God. fucking such a fucking idiot. That's kind of true though, but like it's not really, I guess. The more time you're awake, the longer you're awake, the longer you need to sleep. That's not what that says.

The more time you spend asleep. Oh, it's more time you spend awake. That's like, don't they kind of go? If you stay awake. No, those two can't work together. If you stay awake for a long time, that means you have to sleep to get your energy back a long time. Yes, you have to sleep more, but that doesn't mean you're sleeping more. That doesn't mean you're sleeping more, but like they, they're kind of

inherently similar things. Let's simplify this. Let me help you. Let me help you, Kingston. Imagine these words coming out of a kid who is A, not black, and A, not Will Smith's kid. Some random fucking white kids tweeting this. I would literally be like, oh, cool, dude. And I'd keep walking. I'd be like, oh, wow, awesome, dude. I wouldn't give. Dude, you, you,

you overest to me how much fucks I give about people saying dumb shit. People say weird shit and I leave. Because I understand the crazy is about to happen. No, no, you underestimate the amount of shit that you give. If someone walked up to me and said some weird like introspective, I'm like, oh, I'm probably going to leave. Because this might be a fucking Dahmer kid or a manse kid. I'm going to get out of here. This energy's wrong.

You underestimate how much you give a shit, I think. I do. Unless they're like hurting people. It's like saying something like hyper ignorant. I just don't care. It's like whatever I'm saying is like you say you don't. care a lot, but then you often tweet about how often how much you don't care, which

indicates that you care a lot. You understand? Dude, no, Chris, I tweet about things that genuinely matter me, like Dungeons and Dragons or comic books, or a show, I think, is really good that people are shitting on, or stuff like that. But if

someone just says something, I'm just like, ah, okay. Do you remember when that guy called you, do you remember when that guy called you something or whatever, and you were like you really want to get into an insult contest with me or whatever

the hell. I said you're really going to get an insult comes with me and he was like yeah and I was just like, okay dude, well cool and then I didn't go any further than that. I made one comment back and I was like, all right, cool dude, and I stopped. And then I nicknamed myself, Sweeney to Spineless. That was fucking funny. That is a pretty good way to go about it.

All right, let's move on. We got, let's try and get like three more. Gotcha. Just try and get like three more in like a fucking stupid quick blah blah blah blah blah he larvae

boswald wrote in simple question for you I feel like lucky numbers tell a lot about a person so what are yours I don't know what the fuck this means because I don't know

how I don't know if any of us are really superstitious at all but I thought it was like kind of vaguely interesting to see if like

are any of us at all superstitious did you like carry around like a fucking thing I'm sentimental I'm sentimental not superstitious

you're sentimental not superstitious yeah I carry a picture of like my girlfriend in my wallet because I love her and shit but like

My favorite number is 27. I don't know. I like the number. But do you do that shit like, uh, I feel like I carry things because I kind of feel vaguely like, I'm not, I wouldn't say I'm superstitious, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't, uh, I don't know if I would put it past me necessarily. I've seen luck firsthand. Like, me and because of witness a real lucky creature firsthand.

Oh, yeah, Joe. Uncannily lucky. So I know luck exists. I know it's real. But like at the same time, it's like, If I'm not lucky, I'm not going to spend time trying to become lucky. I'm just going to live until I get me a fucking brick that falls off a building. You know, like, I'm just going to do it until I'm going to do it so I can't do it no more, you know?

That's it. I don't have time to look for luck. There's something that a lot of people misinterpret. Some of the most successful people, they all follow this, the law of attraction. But some people take it a little bit too literal. Like when the book, The Secret became really big and like Oprah started promoting it and stuff, or they were it was being interpreted wrong by Oprah and people like that because they're like, oh, visualize things and then they'll come to you via the law of attraction. And that that literally

doesn't make sense, right? If I just think about it enough, it's just going to show up. No, it's a subconscious thing. It is attracting vibes to you, attracting like your, your subconscious mind brings you towards stuff that is positive. Like usually when you're a negative asshole, negative stuff happens to you a lot. But when you think, about that you're above that stuff like a lot of a psychopaths that just do a bunch of horrible things in life but they never get in trouble or anything it's because they don't believe that they're going to their mind is not leading them down a path of like i'm going to do things that are going to get me caught it's like uh it's one of those things that's like a mentality of like being

lucky is more of a mentality than anything where you just kind of skate through life all this nice stuff happens to you because you keep bringing yourself to these things subconsciously and It's not like a spiritual. It's not a weird thing, like a force that's literally bringing you. It's just like your subconscious mind. Like we do so many things that we don't notice that we're doing. You know? And I think that's what luck really is.

And my interpretation, because every generation there's like a book like that, the science of getting rich. They tell you the same thing. Get up in the morning and say thank you. Think about what you want. You know, visualization. The Strangest Secret by Earl Nightingale. Go back even further. And then all these rich motherfuckers and entrepreneurs are saying the same exact shit.

They just be like this. Oh, thank you. Where some people think the Lord, other people just say thank you in general. Like they get up and they go to sleep saying thank you. And then they're in positive moods and then positive outcomes make you do like more positive and better shit. It's just like it's kind of like the idea of beating a cancer where if you're so negative and you're just like kind of your body body just you allow it to shut down. you know, you can be consumed by it much quicker than, say, if you were trying to beat it. So it's kind of like a mentality thing.

What if you're like a simpleton and you don't understand that negative things are happening all around you? And you just don't register it. I guess I would need to see, like, would that technically qualify? Like, I don't know. I don't know. Because, like, if you, there's like that, that, I don't know where this started necessarily. I don't know if it's really true either, but there's a general kind of thought process

that says, like, you know, the more intelligent you are, the kind of more miserable you are because you're just more cognizant of all the terrible shit that's happening. Whereas if you're just sort of like... Ignorance is bliss. Yeah, ignorance is bliss.

So, like, would you say that, like, somebody who's ignorant is, like, more likely to be lucky than somebody who's, like, super intelligent? I wouldn't necessarily say lucky, but I would say happy, for sure. That makes sense. But think of it like this.

But happy would theoretically bring about positive energy, though, right? Wouldn't it? So it would technically bring about what is ostensibly look. A stupid and ignorant person isn't usually trying to go anywhere or really trying to achieve stuff. Or they may just view things that happen to them as positive. Therefore, they feel as if they're lucky. And that would give off those positive vibes, actually. So, yeah, I think it would kind of go back into itself.

It's like the bike meme where it's like, oh, the total amount of happiness in the world. increased. You remember that? You remember that comic with the guy who gets his bike stolen? Yeah. I don't know.

Can I have a question. But, like, people, how do you quantify people that actually have bad luck, though? Because some people are just around a series of unfortunate events constantly.

Like that person I got struck by lightning twice. Like, that's some shit, bro. That's a record breaker. That is some crazy shit. But I have,

like, I remember one of my friends, she was, a very negative person and shit, I can't explain what happened to her to. Like say we were driving somewhere and full cars, a friend full of cars

and she was talking about this, how unlucky she is, and fucking a car next to her, I guess, hits a pebble on the road just in the perfect spot to where it bounced in the car and hit her in the face. When does that happen? When does that happen to people? But it happened

like, that has never happened to me one time and I've been driving since I was 18, And it's just like so weird that that shit happens. Like there's some stuff obviously we can't explain. I don't know and I won't pretend to know. But one thing that is I think that is pretty likely is that very positive outcome go-getters, you know, they usually are the tend to be the lucky ones. And you see like people that are like mad and everything sucks. They don't do shit.

And then bad shit, they go down and they make decisions. They go down the wrong alley. You know, somebody that is actually, you know, much more positive and they've thought things through. They don't do shit like that. Yeah. I've lived in the hood and I've not, I got fucked with one time for just being like, you know, wrong place, wrong time. But nothing really happened. I got punched in the chin, big deal, you know, but I don't think I'm usually pretty optimistic.

And I think that's why, like, I haven't just ended up in a really dumb ass. situation to where I don't know, I don't know. I feel like I'm just, yeah. Do you believe that the more positive you are, the more you manipulate the world around you, therefore better things happen to you? Say it again?

Like you probably the world around you're definitely like altered. So the, to a. Because it's weird because I feel like that happens. That people that are very positive, the world around them tends to just be more positive. To a certain extent. I think to a certain extent,

I don't think it's like some crazy, universal thing that's just shifting in your favor. I just think that it's just like look even like say, because you know how you can sense somebody when they're close behind you or something or subconsciously. You can, I'm thinking, you're thinking subconsciously that you see somebody in the way they're standing, their posture, their face, are they smiling? Do they seem happy or something like that? I think sometimes somebody just seeing like, oh, this person seems really welcoming and

inviting and somebody might just come up to you and give you something or something opposed to if you looked like a piece of shit like they wouldn't even be around you at all like uh like say my my presence was pretty inviting when i was working as a cashier and i would get like free shit all the time and i would have like these older women that would like you know just hit on me like all this weird because i was like a very like people are so surprised when uh their animals and their babies love me they're like wow they're so cold to everybody else and i'm like i don't know maybe because i'm not like a secret psychopath. I just,

I love things, and I think just people can feel that, and then so you invite more people and better people into your life. I think that's probably true to some extent, but... People like me, and I'm definitely a psychopath, though.

Oh my fucking God. I actually didn't hear you for a second, Chris. Are you talking? I know, I know. It's, it's, it's, this episode's gonna be a lot of overlapping audio. But, um, no, that's fine.

I think it's just the setup right now. But I don't know, man. No one's ever going to convince me that Joe does not have like some kind of fucking luck angel, like constantly fucking following him. It's, he's the most absurdly lucky person I think I've ever seen to the point where I didn't believe in luck before I met him. And then I saw him. It was like, well, it's clearly.

It's clearly. Like, scientifically, I believe that it's a fucking physical force that exists. And it chooses because it's insane. Joe could tumble out of a skyscraper and land in like Robert Downey Jr's convertible sitting upright and like he could Robert Downey Jr. could turn to his right and be like

oh whoa weird what a nice soul this is that he landed in my car be my friend now like that's that's that doesn't even sound absurd to me as I'm saying it Joe's the kind of guy that would end up mistakenly becoming like a fucking billionaire. Yeah, yeah. Like a billionaire would choose, a billionaire

would be dying and he would have so much contempt for his kids that he would pick like a random PayPal address to send his money to and it would be his. I'm so sure, it's insane. I've never seen anything like it. Does he play the lottery? Does he play the lottery or gamble or anything like

that? Nobody should. Yeah, like, what the fuck is he waiting for? He doesn't abuse it. That's what it is. He's like, he's the definition of great power, great responsibility where he's just like He understands that he has power and he just doesn't use it for evil. He's just there. Fair enough.

Fair enough. I hate it. I hate it. It's so infuriated. I don't hate him because, like, you know, do your thing, you know, like, do you live your life? I don't hate him. I hate the fact that, I hate the fact that he has that. That's such an inside.

I think I have it, too, to a degree, but it's like, it's more like grand. I have a grand sense of luck, but not like these everyday, like, everyday, you know, uh, noticeable kernels of luck that just like sort of fall into his laps.

I feel like the fact that I'm, that I'm still alive is, is, is nothing short of a miracle, given how fucking unintelligently I've lived my life up until now. But, there you go. I don't know, man.

Luck is, uh, look is fucking weird. I don't know if I have any lucky number. I think seven is probably like, if I see a seven, I feel like, if I'm in like a hotel and like my hotel room is like a seven in it,

I feel like better about that for some reason, even though I'm not superstitious at all, really. I don't know what it is. Mine's 11. I usually use, like, whenever I need like a number sequence, not typically if it's like a pass code or something, I won't do that. But, um, like, I'll put 11 and I,

Derek and I and 7-11 will clean house. Oh, shit, what up? You guys are fucking, you got a solos. All right. Okay, whatever you're 27 or whatever the fuck your shit was? What is your bum-ass number? 27. Yeah.

fucking bum. The day I was fucking born, man. I was like, oh, it's 27. Yeah, this day I was fucking ejected into this fucking horrible life. Expected. Is that the 27 or 12.7, 8? I'm going to be, I'm going to be 27 at the end of this year, which is the year, which is, by the way, the age that all of the world-renowned famous celebrities die, the cherished ones.

Oh, yeah. Lucky you, dude. So, like, if I die in this next year, I think I think that's probably the best luck that I could hope for. Chris, I love you, dude, but you're not a cherished celebrity. I would be if I died at 27. So you're going to be just as good as Morrison, fucking Hendrix, Joplin, fucking Cobain. Coben.

Amy Winehouse. Amy Winhouse. She died at 27, too? Yeah, dude. That's a whole thing, the 27 Club is that all these people died of 27. And as long as you don't even have to be beloved, you don't actually have to be beloved before that. As long as you're 27, well-known, and you don't. then they'll love you because that's that's the formula for love that's how yeah that's how it goes even though

people die age 27 all the time and and they never are acknowledged so yeah but they're not famous or like relatively well known okay okay fair enough fair enough um let's see how many people it was 27 uh death curse oh club sorry Jesus Christ it's a crazy amount it's so morbid let's not let's not do this okay yeah I guess okay next question Yeah, I think we're good. So I guess we'll just kick it off. Whatever the hell, I don't even know what today's episode was. It was like vaguely morbid, kind of, but not really.

Yep. I don't know. A little bit towards that. We'll figure out something. It'll probably be like a teddy bear, a teddy bear hanging itself. That should be the freaking, um, the freaking, uh, whatever it's called. Yeah, I really have no idea what the thumbnail for this one's going to be. Thanks for, uh, stopping by.

if you like somehow what you heard today, consider supporting us over at patreon.com slash the snark tank. We also have merch that you can find on the Patreon where you could get the raw files for the merch for free, where you could just sort of print them on whatever the hell you want. Or at T-spring.com slash stores slash snark dash tank. $1 a month gets you early access.

$5 gets you a question read on the show. $10 gets you access to our digital. Discord. And we thought about what we wanted to do for the $15 tier. And we're thinking like a certain amount of like Discord invites. You could like invite other people to the Discord. That's something that we're looking into for 15. Just something until we have like, until we're able to do the video show, which won't be happening until a little bit later in the year when I'm back in LA and figuring stuff out. Oh shit. What was it Derek that we wanted to talk about? Okay, so towards the end of the year, the house that I'm living in is going to get sold and I'm going to have to find a new place to live. Now, before the pandemic hit, we had plans with the snark tank to do video format and then obviously we couldn't do it. And we thought moving forward, how should we do it? Because we still wanted to bring video to you guys.

And we were thinking, okay, we'll just do it over Skype or Zoom or whatever is the best technology available for that. And that being said, because of that sense, if we wouldn't be meeting up in person, that expanded my options on where I could move. Because at this point, the only reason that I'm really in California is for the snark tank because I've always thought that at a certain point I wanted to move out, move somewhere much cheaper. You know, I can have a much better place for a lot less money. I was thinking about Henderson, Vegas, or a city in Arizona, because I lived there a few times, or maybe up into Washington because I actually love that type of weather. But another idea was kind of brought onto our desk of what we could do because now we've been relatively safe.

Everything's been kind of chill, you know, get tested. We know all the procedures and stuff moving forward. So the idea was for me to stay in California and actually get a place that is close to Chris and Sweeney. And doing that, we would get an extra room that would be converted into the studio for the snark tank. And then we would be in the same room recording with a video format. Basically, we wanted to bring that to your guys' attention and see if that was something you guys were interested in because what we would need is just like to raise. a certain amount of support, you know, depending on what type of room and whatnot we get, what type of space, because it would be specifically funds allocated for the studio itself.

So I don't know exactly how much that would be, but I can't imagine it being more than like a thousand or something like that. Like if we would just get that, that would just continuously pay for the studio. And then we would meet up every Sunday like we normally do and we would record there. So that's another idea. Like if that's something that you guys are interested in, please let us know. And then we can actually, you know, do something, figure out like a goal or something that we can link to the Patreon or something that would specifically be for the studio. So, yeah, just definitely want to put that out there because, yeah, I don't, it just really depends because I really want to take the snark tank much more seriously.

It's one of the funest things that I do. And I know the guys agree with me as well. So, yeah, just putting that out there. and definitely want to hear your guys' feedback. Yeah, but that's for the 15 and 25 gets your name, dyslexically read. At the end of the show, which I will now do. A photo-negative Tom Sawyer, cataclysmic cunt, hard-hat skydiver, Jessica Paris, Absolute Wagon, Finn Kurtz, Aidan Smith, Banana 101 ASDF, Hachassel 9, Progerian Incess Goblin,

Nick Baca, Sargon's Tom Sweeney-shaped fuck doll, Tyler Durdin, Billy the Big Ball Brawler, Shronic the Swamp Hog, Alaskan oil field trash, Chris would be a twink if he cared about hygiene. I wish my dad kissed me like Tom Brady, did 9-11, not an FBI agent, Juan Punchman, Marcus Shorten, Mr. Fuck, the name reads of the best part of the show,

the price would be lower to $5. The Mead I beats Kites neatly on her teats. Dreezer, Abusi, Sir Simplot, Papa Nurgle, Ruth Bader Ginsburg's moist clam sauce. The Andes Mountains are in South America, Chris. Zesty Keith David, Chris's 69 gigabytes of Quokobandico Bandicoot Hentai, Game Controller 25, Danny DeVito's Dank Delectable Draconian Dick Revolution.

Oh man, Jesus Christ. Derek's Leaky Left Nut. Oh, boy, good Lord. Cold Burb, Murder Assended, David Connolly, the dyslexic that feels Chris's pain, Dunderhead, Ben Douglas, Sweeney's Money Laundering Account, Dragazoroth and his Seven Slave, Sergeant Sweatysack, Haco, banned on iTunes's Love, Motto Zellet, Mike Tyson's Left Hook, Sweeney the Kauaiwifu, Hiroshima's spicy mushroom, Colonel Colin the colon-collapsing kingpin,

a level one cleric, Derek's unyielding sex drive, Ninja Fox, Dummy Thick Dave, Big Dude 044, Heartless Wretch, the Black Man from Staten Island, Dobby's Freedom cemented in Seamen. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, come inside my tummy, Josh Cummings, the ghosts that lived in the apartment above Kristen Sweeney, Jolly Old Dipshit, Emperor Palpatine, Don't Mail anthrax to 2001 Fish Hatchery, Hugger Derek, lover of 90s punk Mr. Cravesweiser daughter naked and chained in the basement Carson Jones, Keithery and David,

Fou Hay, the Pragerian hunter, deflated left ass cheek, sunny chance, the dangle that blampies, or the blampey that dangles, sorry. Toby Schutman, Artie the one man party, please love me, Melfis 1, El Culebron, Rickter 86, and King of Haphaazard.

Thank you all for your subscribes. And we'll see you in the next episode that will hopefully be a little less disorienting. I'm in New York currently. New York City. Traveling. So things are a little bit off-kilter,

but we'll be back, stronger than ever, when we sacrifice the lamb to appease the morning gods. Goodbye.