The Snark Tank - #389: Gooning with Grok

Episode Date: January 16, 2026

https://www.patreon.com/TheSnarkTank

If you're chasing data down, instead of seeing it in one place, you need the Intuit ERP. Intuit Enterprise Suite. All your data in one place with built-in AI for real-time insights. Learn more at Intuit.com slash ERP. Struggling to see up close, make it visible with Viz. Viz is a once daily prescription eye drop to treat blurry near vision for up to 10 hours. The most common side effects that may be experienced while using Viz include eye irritation, temporary dim or dark vision, headaches and eye redness. Talk to an eye doctor to learn if Viz is right for you. Learn more at Viz.com.

Hey, everybody, welcome back. It's the, it's another episode of the Snark Tank podcast. It's me, Chris. It's him, Derek. Oh, look at that. Hmm. Anyone want to guess what time it is right now? We record at 11 a.m. Pacific time.

Yes. I'm going to give people a few seconds. And then you put it in the comment section to guess what time it is. Yeah. All right. All right, now you've guessed, you've made your guesses. Mm-hmm. Go ahead.

It is 1125. Okay, so only 25 minutes. It's 25 minutes. A mere 25 minutes. When you live five minutes away, it's kind of insane. No, let's also put a little context of this. So he texted us actually at 1049. Yeah.

So 10.48, 10 minutes, he's like, sorry, I woke up a little. late, but I'll be there as soon as possible. At 10.49, meaning he had 10 minutes to be on time. And so I was expecting like, oh, he'll probably be like 10 minutes. Late tops? Yeah, yeah. Because he has 20 minutes. That would be 20 minutes. What the audience doesn't know,

what you know is because you could see. Yeah. On the door. We have a door obviously going to the end of this place because it's a fucking building. But we have a door there and there's a bucket. You guys can't see it. I don't have a camera on it. There's a bucket full of hot acid.

And it's going to fall right on him when he comes through the door. Hot acid. It's on a hot plate. You're boiling the acid. The acid will do his job. No, no, no, no, no. It needs to be hot. It needs to be scalding also.

Boiling hot sulfuric acid. I love that. So he's going to come on, he's going to come on camera looking off all kinds of fucked up. And then we'll cut that part out of the podcast, put it behind the paywall and make people pay to see Burn Victim Kigston. He's a burn victim. Yeah, his new arc. I like that. Burn victim Kingston.

I'm gonna, can I wonder what I can do to make, I'll snap a picture of him and then make him look like he's a burn victim. How would I do that? Dude, did you see that video? I said, like, I don't know if I sent it to you. I feel like usually I send these videos to the Snark Tank, uh, Instagram thing. Yeah. Where it's a guy like, it's some Asian guy going like, this is how you check for leaks in a propane. tank and he's like he's got like a lighter next to it oh yeah and then it cuts to it like a just a

burned motherfucker and he's like don't believe everything you read on the internet and then it cuts off immediately but it's like dude I don't know burr there's something about the burn victim thing where it's just like it's so it like it makes me so sad yeah but it is like visually like I can't help but like there's like an uncomfortable laughter that comes along with it because it's like yo you look like a Picasso. You look at Picasso painting. It's crazy. I'm pretty, I'm pretty, you know how I got used to like the burn victim type of look?

It was, no joke, it was the character Spawn. Like Al Simmons, because he's, you know. Is he a burn victim? I can't remember. He's essentially, so, especially in the live action spawn movie, which is terrible, by the way, because why wouldn't it be? It was the 90s, right? Yeah, 95.

No shot, basically. It was 95 or 97. What year do you think there could have been a great spawn movie? You know how I mean there's these pockets of time where like certain restrictions aren't there or like special effects are like right there and they haven't like dipped yet? Yeah. Like Jurassic Park where he had great CG and like Black Panther where it's like garbage for some reason. So the weird thing is at at no point in the 90s or early 2000s it would have worked because they would have tried to make it some dumb ass superheaval. hero thing that wouldn't have worked.

There was a little window where they had a chance when, what was it, 2014, I think, Deadpool came out. And actually, Tom McFarlane got inspired. And he was like, you know, I want to make something, but I want to make it dark and rated R and more, a little bit more horror. Yeah. And everyone was like, let's fucking go. Nothing happened.

And now it's like, that window's over. It's not going to happen. No one's going to fund anything like that anymore. the executives are passed like there was like that little small window where it's like oh look at how much money this R-rated film made Right And I think you're totally right

Yeah and it's like well great It's over Yeah it's over there's spawn's not Nah Spawn's not coming back No it's not it's so 90s It's not so married to the 90s It is and not enough

Something crazy would have to happen To reintroduce Spahn to everybody in a way to even get people. I guess the executives and the producers interested in funding something like that because they're probably like, who gives a fuck about this guy? Like, what? Yeah. Spawn?

What do you think? What do you think, Keksen? Do you want to see a Pokemon that looks like Spawn? The fact that I'm sure he knows a Pokemon that looks like Spahn. I'm sure. I'm sure there probably is. Yeah. That seems more likely than Sheldon. Yeah.

Or whatever the fact he tried to convince us of that. Just because he had his hand, his finger like, hmm. I'm like, all right, man. Like he's He's not The same I'm so used to cut into him

That I did it by accident Yeah you did it by acting Because you're waiting for him To be disappointed Or like shake his head Or say something like Oh Pokemon

What everyone's Star Tank podcast Patreon. Patreon.com slash It's darn here Remember you can go over there Early access to every episode Ad free exclusive episodes and all that crap

You can get your name Right at the end of the show You can get your questions on the show You can get There's going to be a number in I think not the next episode but the next

episode after that where you'll be able to call in leave voicemails I kind of have like I had the Google thing set up sort of but then I just kind of like I just have like two steps left so we've got that kind of underway so you can leave your voicemails you want to oh you only have access to that in the Patreon

we ain't taking calls from no random people okay although we will inevitably you know there's going to be some telemarketer oh yeah I'm sure yeah it's going to be like a new number Yeah, immediately pounce on it, yeah. Yeah. But yeah, so there's a couple things to talk about.

I would love to talk about them. Yeah, we can kind of... I would love to talk about them. We can stall a little bit. We can stall a little bit. What time is it? I'm assuming it's like 1132. Let's see.

1131. Amazing. Okay. So, yeah, he said, I'll be there as soon as possible. I think he might technically be later than last time in a way that he wasn't late yet when he texted us. Right. Before he woke up actually already late. And then by the time he got here, you know, he might be later than that already. He might be. I have to, I have to verify it. I'll go back. But I just feel like it's weird that you know, you remember when he texted us one

time saying he was going to be late and it was like there was an hour before. And I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, oh, I got to like cook Lily breakfast or something. No, yeah, I got to build a Lego set real quick. It was like, it was. It was. It was. something where I'm like, wait, you don't have to be late. There's an hour, brother. Like, you can, you know, whatever it is you got to do, you can just use the, a lot of time to have. He does not live that far. He could, he could, he could trip and roll here. Like, on time if he, if he wanted to, but he's, you know, whatever. Yeah, I've gotten so good with the electric scooter that, like, from downtown Burbank, I can get here in, oh, no, not him. I can get here in, like, four minutes.

Um, probably almost fast. but there is sometimes the lights. Yeah, some of the lights are brutal. But I've got like my route down completely to where from, from Kingston's, like you said, five-minute drive, it would probably be like a seven-minute fucking scooter to me. Like I feel pretty good about that. Yeah, I think so. That's about right. Yeah. I miss scooters, man.

I didn't have an electric one. When I lived in Glendale, I had like this like purple, like Jalen had one, but he had a car. So like you kind of let me use it. It was like a fucking, it was basically a toy. It was like a razor scooter. Yeah. I was like a 23-year-old man Running around Glendale

On like a piece of shit I remember once I hit like a divot And I flipped over Like into traffic almost I ruined my My wrist In seventh grade Doing that

Going as fast as humanly possible On the scooter And then seeing the crack and the cement And you're like Oh I can't avoid this You know? You just see it coming You're like

Well That's exactly what what it is. Most I can do is... There's no panic because it's already happy. You're like, it's already set in stone. Right. The future is written. Yeah. You fall. Oh, I hurt. And then I... You can't scoot without... You need both... To scoot well, you need both arms. Trying to hold it like steady with one arm is very difficult. No, you can't do it. So the rest of the way, I was essentially just walking it there looking like a fucking dumb ass, like all like, you know, like making grimacing faces and shit like people driving by like little fuck this idiot probably stole the scooter or something

and he's you know he looks like a evil monster like carrying a scooter that he stole or some shit good times though yeah i did buy though i could i did have that i still have that one uh the it's an adult razor scooter right right yeah it's a bigger one but when i wrote it here from the from downtown burbank i was dead And I keep hearing. You hearing like weird stuff? I don't know if I'm like going insane. No.

It was it kind of like a weird scratchy kind of. Yeah. I heard that too. Okay. Yeah. I heard it twice in a row and I'm like, oh no. I'm just like, I'm going to ignore. Oh, no, it's over.

I'm going to ignore the demons. I caught dementia from Kingston. From Dick. What if right now he's fighting for his life? Like he was about to reach the pass through the threshold of your door. And then somebody like two people grabbed them. And then like he's fighting for his life right. now, but in a way that it's not struggling too hard enough for us to hear.

Is that it? Yeah, we've got the acid. We got the acid bucket. It's coming. It's coming. On eBay, every find has a story. Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea. Not just a tea.

The band tea. From the last show your favorite band ever played. You wore it everywhere. Then your BFF started glaring it. which is cute until they unfriended you and took it with them, which was not so cute. Anyway, now you're on eBay. And there it is, same T from the same tour.

Still living in your memory, rent-free forever. See? The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you. But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your XBFF stole back. It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught then heroically gave to the kid next to you. And where else are you going to find your first car? The one you wish you'd never sold, but now, you finally get the chance to take back home. For good this time.

Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story. eBay, things people love. At Arizona State University, we're bringing world-class education from our globally acclaimed faculty to you. Earn your degree from the nation's most innovative university online. That's a degree better. Learn more at ASUonline.asu.org.edu. Give it a second. Oh, damn.

Oh, my Pokemon cards. What do you do? Ow, my Pokemon cards. Ow, my Pokemon cards, outs. What do you mean? They've been there for a minute. What happened there? Oh, yeah.

Did someone from Nazi Germany acquire a child there and they got left? No, well, first of all, I'm not going to... Put your mic in. Yeah. I'm not going to... We're recording already. Yeah. I got a life

I got a I got a schedule Maybe Oh wait for you to put your thing in Did you get Well don't plug it in first Because you gotta You gotta twist it don't you Well it's just gonna make turbulence

But whatever It's too well I mean yeah sure Because the wire's gonna you know Well it's all it's more It doesn't matter Either way I'm just

Oh that's how you do it I'm eager to I'm nice and secure What's up Let's make sure Make check mic check I'm getting spikes right now My check 1-212

You're in the goia man I'm a So what's going on with your Face What Why does it look like that Oh my scar I got Yeah I got scarred

Oh the scar What happened? Right here? No I just made your face in general No seriously What happened with your scar By what? By what?

My nephew What? You got into a fight with your nephew A beard uncle brawl with your nephew No He's a he's a little chucky He's a little biter or scratch. He's a little scratcher.

How old is he? He's like one. He's like one. This dude lost a fight to a one-year-old. That's crazy. You fight me. How about that? I'm going to fight me right now.

Let's see. I mean, I feel pretty good, man. I don't fight. I don't fight the kids that lose the baby. I got. So the shoes in front of my apartment. You're talking about like the gray ones? Yeah.

Are those yours? Yeah, they are. But like they've, so they got super, like I was picking up, our friends are in Asia. Right? They kind of left me the car while they're gone. So I've been using it to go around. You've been mudding.

No, dude, well, I had to pick up. The day that I drove them to the airport, it was fucking raining like crazy. And then I had to like pick up. I had to pick my friend Gabby up from work after I dropped them off. And it was just fucking muddy as fuck. And my shoes got all muddy. And I'm like, I don't really have a hose that I get, you know what I mean? What is it?

What is it? I'm not going to take strawberries from you. From you? I'm okay. Thank you. Thank you, sir. Those are, those are I woke up late strawberries also. So, you know what I mean? So, like, I remember you did your due diligence.

What do you mean? You got to boil the worms out of those. I mean, you, you don't have to boil the worms out of them. You got to boil the worms out of those. They got to clean them. You got to dip them in salt waters. Do you watch all the worms pour out in there. I want you to explain yourself how you're over 30 minutes late.

Go. Did you just wake up late, actually? I simply just woke up late. Why is you, why is it? What does it take you 40 minutes? First of all, yeah. What's up to the alarm? What happens is my alarm?

What you call it? My phone updated last night. So it was the reason my alarm didn't go off. But then I woke up and I was like, my phone did that too, actually. You know what you should do? Have your wife help you? She works a real job, man. Tell her to wake you up when she wakes up.

She can't, like, walk away from her laptop for 20 seconds. She's usually in meetings by the time I wake up. Like, okay. She can't even, they're the meetings with the fucking, you got to be on camera and shit. Because to me. but she has to be interactive. She's a project coordinator. You know what you need?

You know what you need? Walk up and be like, nigger, get up. No, simply is that she's a project coordinator. So, like, what happens is like, she's the person that in the morning they do the meetings, and she's the one that has to hear what they're going to do and then delegates people.

Here, let me tell you the real answer. She doesn't care about you and I totally understand. I get it. I get it. I hope he gets fired. I hope he gets fired for the podcast. Fuck this thing of that pays most of the bills in a house.

Fuck yeah. Which is, I love that. I love that for them. That she makes the most money, right? Mm-hmm. And she forces him to pay all the bills. Isn't that sick?

I pay the bill for the house. No, she forces him. She pings him down. I think he doesn't, I think he doesn't have a guilt because this doesn't feel like a real job. Clearly to him.

Well, yeah. It's never fucking a real job. I mean, well, yeah, if it was a real job, you would have been fired. Absolutely. Yeah. That's what I mean?

We all would be fired. What the fuck do you mean? understand the sentiment of being like, I'm like, who gives this shit, I get it. I think of these struggling, I'd be like, that's crazy. I'm gonna talk to my friends for four hours and have a good time, man.

Like, yeah, I can't eat. I'm like, oh, that's wild. I'm not going to give you anything either. This is the most, like, arrogant I've ever, I'll ever sound, but I would feel bad. Like, you know, oh, this is a really great job. And, man, a lot of people struggling. I do feel like we have a funny product

and I've read so many comments about people like this is actually like helping me not feel like shit. I'm like, oh good. You know, so I actually feel justified. There's some, I feel appreciative.

I appreciate what we can give other people. Yeah, I do like if this was like, like imagine if we had a Joe Rogan podcast. I hate going to tell me. I hate it. You have a horn. You have a horn.

I'm getting my haircut Thursday. So you want to pick? You want to pick it with? I don't have the time. Would you get a haircut? the same place. I want to see, I want to see how, um, how, how long is it? That's actually crazy.

Dude, that shit can, dude. Your hair's longer than mine. Yeah, it is. You got it one time. Before you get it, before you get it, before you get a problem is my hair, what do you call? It compresses. I have fucking, I have fucking, I have forcey hair. So, no matter what, when I pick my hair out, literally like in a minute or so starts compressing back. So not to the same place it was before I understand them. That's why we got to get a lot of moisture. We got to get, uh, I saw some, some bitch talking, um, talking shit about

one of my favorite brands is a main and tail. Oh, yeah, of course. But I saw some, like, oh, it was just like, white person. They're just like, oh, there's like, yes, of course. Oh, Jackpot. There's a, there's no products. And there's no, there's not, like, they were talking shit. And then one of them, and I had the audacity to be like, uh, that Ozzy brand that with a purple. It was like has like better shit.

And I'm like, I, listen, maybe where they're from or whoever this person was, there's like some trickery. Because you know, depending on where you are, you can fuck with products or something. And I thought because I've, I've, I've used. used actually both of them. I've, it's, there used to be one good product. It was called hair lotion.

It does not exist anymore. There was like a specific hair lotion. Lily has, um, that doesn't exist anymore. She has, uh, hair mask,

that's hair lotion effectively. Uh-huh. You know what pink lotion is. You know what pink lotion is, right? Of course. It's effectively like hair, hair,

that's effectively the same thing. Yeah. It's like traps moisture. Pretty much it just traps moisture inside of like black people's hair. That's all it does effectively. It's great. And she has something that does that.

And I'm like, Lee, why do you have this? You're not black at all. You're like the furthest. You're the furthest a Mexican can be from black. Do you think she's going to like cut your face off and wear it because she wants to be black? I don't think she wants to be black at all.

I think she thought it was cool until she was with a black man. Until she got with a black man. And she was horrible. I'm tired of being shot out in our car when we're going places. Yeah, by me. By me. I'm tired. She noticed it immediately.

People aren't as nice to me when I'm with you. And I'm like, oh, you don't say. You don't say, Lily. Oh, man. You got to, you know what you should. That's fun. You should like. On eBay, every find has a story.

Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea. Not just a tea. The band tea. From the last show your favorite band ever played. You wore it everywhere. Then your BFF started glaring it, which is cute until they unfriended you and took it with them, which was not so cute. Anyway, now you're on eBay.

And there it is. Same tea from the same tour. Still living in your memory, rent-free forever. See? The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you. But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your XBFF stole back. It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught, then heroically gave to the kid next to you. And where else are you going to find your first car?

The one you wish you'd never sold, but now, you finally get the chance to take back home. For good this time. Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story. eBay, things people love. Has the news been getting you down? I'm Megan McArdle, and I'm here to help. I'm the host of a news show from Washington Post opinion called Reasonably Optimistic.

And it's an antidote to the pessimism that's riddling America right now. Every Wednesday, I'm going to talk to people who see a path forward. It does seem to me that there is some awakening of a desire to act together, to solve problems where they are. I am a believer in America, and it's worth fighting for. join me Wednesdays on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You notice it too, right? When you started dating a black person, you notice a little, a few different things? Yeah.

Yeah, I remember. I remember specifically how just like, what, how is this? This is real? What do you mean? That's what, that's the thing that most people don't understand. I think people don't get it because it's like, why would this be real? This is ridiculous. Yeah, and then you experience it.

Then you're like, what the thing? I mean, you know it exists. I don't think people do really. I think people hear it. It's the idea of like the whole Palestine thing. Right. It's like there's hearing about it and then you see the videos and you're like, whoa, it's a different thing. Yeah, but Palestine is not real. We're talking about like the older country is not real than the one that's there. Exactly. It's whatever. You used to be you would even have depictions on maps. People, I think when the Indiana Jones game came out, people were circulating and like, oh, look, in Indiana Jones, there's a little scene where on the map, it says Palestine. And it's like addressed as Palestine. And I'm like, isn't that it? interesting that like it's it's like we forgot that people used to just by default address it

as such and then people are trying to revisionist history and being like oh yeah because these people are returning to their ancestral home that almost was in south america remember that and then they asked the europeans to stay the europeans are like get the fuck out of here kinks that remember that moment we don't understand is um you being here on time was promised to me 3,000 years ago. Me and my overly European blood that's very, very barely from that place anymore. No, dude, like, I remember

how weird it was. Like, because I knew that it was a thing. Like, I'm not stupid. Like, I understood that people were races or whatever. But it's like weird to like... Interpersonal races is different. It's unique. It's like, oh, that's weird. Yeah, because you just, you see it in places where you're like, really here? Why here? Like, of all places. Like, don't you...

In places where you would assume people interact with a lot of people, you know, where it wouldn't be a problem. It's not race mixing. It's a different thing. Yeah. It's like, that's genuinely the worst. That's genuinely the worst thing to them actually. It was easily the most ire I've ever gotten. That's insane. For like a relationship of any guy, which is crazy. You suck. Yeah. It's amazing.

Yeah. They should be shooting you right now, but they're not. And I respect that to a degree. That's a good guy respect that. I like being a black man and going to different countries. And you get the vibes of how the people are. And that's the, you know. We're the vibes elsewhere. They're just nervous, I think.

So it just, it completely depends. I bet there are places that are way better than that. Yes. So I think this is curious. Those curious. And then there's like, because America has a history is the thing. So there's those penis countries that we talk about the Scandinavian countries. Those are penis countries?

Oh, they look like they look like flaccid penises. So those countries, they're legit. Nice as fuck. Even when they have like immigrants coming over there like Ethiopians or whatever, they're like, oh, cool. Bad role. That's crazy. But they're just like, oh, cool.

You know, like when I was in, when I was in Norway, I was just like immediately. You know how the guy was like doing the Somali? It was the same thing where I was going to, I was going to the grocery store. And I was like, oh, Ethiopian. It was immediately. I was like, oh, my God, it's crazy. That's cool. He's like geogessor, but for race.

Yeah. Yeah, it's great. If you, 99% accuracy. That mean, it's really funny. It's super disrespectful. What is really, really funny. I think you, yeah.

I wish, there's a phenotype. It's disrespectful. I wish we were at a point where you could, man, it's never going to. I'm going to die and we're never going to be there. We just acknowledge like, just what's real and also just like, oh, yeah, whatever. You know, be okay with it. The problem is that is white people, man. they always muck it up because it goes from being like

I think it's just them man I think it's not just them but you know you gotta be real you know when it comes to king discrimination quite a bit too to be did you see the smoky said to do what happened the smoking said you happened to her over there no I did not hear anything from from her

but I'll say just like interpersonally what I've noticed is that like I spent a lot of time with white family I spent a lot of time with black family I spent a lot of time with Asian people next like ranked competitive with Asians it's different for them

It's like they're playing trials of Osiris. It is not racism. It is xenophobia. It is a different thing. No, but it's that end. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, you know what it is? It's kind of like, um, it literally is just like, like a build almost where it's just like, okay, today for this fight, I'm going 70% xenophobia, 30% race. And then for a different, oh, that's a different enemy.

I got to go 90% racist. It's a fucking. Someone explained to me how xenophobia is different. than racism. So racism, racism is more or less the idea of like, implementation, right? So it's like the idea of, because like racism feels more insidious than xenophobia. The xenophobia is like genuine like, hey, stay away from me. You look different. Opposed racism is like, you're bad because you're this.

Well, that's the difference for me at least. Wait, so here, hold on. I think they can be both. If you're afraid, you got to ask the question why. And when they answer why is because they think you're bad. I agree. So how is that not racism? Racism is skin and then xenophobia is culture.

Like I don't like, right? That's kind of how I look about it. Because it's like your culture is bad because you're black versus like you're black therefore your like your IQ is bad. I don't think there's I don't think racist. I don't think racist are nuanced like that. I'm literally just going along with this premise. I don't know.

I don't believe any of it. Ultimately I think they are effectively. Effectively they're doing the same thing. The fuck shirt is that? You look like that picture of like. You know that you're that famous. You're that famous picture of like America and it's like that one stretch of highway with all like the gas stations and the McDonald's. Oh, right.

Yeah. What is that? This is like a city pop thing. Like one of those like Japanese city pop like murals and they showed like it's like nighttime and there's like neon lights and shit. Yeah, where do you even get a shirt like that? I don't remember where I got this from. I'd like it. It'll look cool.

It's like a million different logos. He's the point. I'm advertising. Who could possibly what, what partner in that? Which company is making money off of this? All of them. I think it's getting paid by Osaka. I think he's the entire paid by

a city of Japan proper Yeah The ghost of Shinsu Abe has him on payroll Exactly Why do they take that fucking gunnum away There's a giant gunnums That's not good enough answer for me Okay sorry

You as the right answer Person of Osaka They took the gunnum away We're going to war with Japan You imagine Because they don't the gunned It would be so unfortunate We would defile that

that poor minding its business country. They're so not military. That is the sad reality of what's going on right now. We're just, we're just too big of a bully and we're capable of like, you know. Although China's like pretty, you know,

that's the problem. China's terrifying. I saw people saying like, I saw people saying like, oh, we haven't done anything about Kim Jong-un because he has nukes. And it's like,

no, we haven't done anything because he's got the support of China. Right? That's what I would imagine. It has done to do with him. And it's not even like, it's not even a war thing in China. It's fiscal.

It's like, am I mistaken or are nuke's not really a big deal? No, there are a huge deal. No, but like what I mean is like... Huge deal. I guess a nuke detonating in a space is a big deal. But like, North Korea can't launch a nuke and it be a problem for us. It can't get here.

Surely we have the technology to shoot that shit down immediately and it's not a problem. One gets shot and others get shot. I understand. It's not like a... It's like once you throw that first punch against the like the protestors for the punch the police it turns into like I could probably fuck this one police officer up but then there's a bunch of police officers that I'm gonna have to fight and other people oh would it be like what's that new quote that's uh what was it was it christy noem was it christy or was it um it's it's like christy noem

that it says like um it says like um like what was it like one of one of us fuck what is the quote it's the quote it's all like tying it to fascism right now there's like it's like one of basically the idea is like if you fuck with one of us you fuck with all of us kind of a thing sure. And it's the problem. It turns it to a big problem. There's a lot of countries that don't have nukes that are just going to be wrapped into these situations for no reason.

You don't know what I think. I think every country has nukes. I think a lot of companies that are- I think Poppin New Guinea has nukes. I think a lot of them that say, like a lot of the first world that say they don't definitely have nuclear weapons. Yeah, for sure. They got like a nuclear dark gun at least.

They got, that's crazy. A nuclear fucking, that's crazy. That's a nuclear fucking handball. That's so unnecessary. A nuclear rock. He just has a rock with this nuclear charge. It's just a radiated rock. Go get the weapon.

It's a sling. He has a slingshot, a nuclear slingshot. That'd be sick as fuck. It wouldn't. I mean, it'd be like a good fallout. In concept. Like an LOL and brand is like, God, that'd be cool.

I throw nuclear rocket somebody, but it's not going to go far and it's going to kill him. It's very gamey, you know? It's very video game. I would love a nuclear slingshine to video game. It's literally fallout. It's literally fallout. I would absolutely kill for that.

I'm trying to play New Vegas, by the way. I'm really trying. Yeah. I like it a lot. But, like, dude, I've gotten stuck. I was like, last night I was like, yeah, I'm going to play some New Vegas, and it was loading for 10 minutes. You got to do a lot to that game for it to function well.

You got to play it on PC? You're playing on PC? I'm playing it on Steam deck. Oh, Lord. Yeah. It actually runs. I can't play it on full screen on my PC. Yeah, you can't.

You should. I have to download a file. You got to overhaul it, man. You got to. Old Dead Space you can't play on Steam. Oh, yeah, you're right. It looks insane. You got to play it on something.

I had to play it on freaking. You got to play the remake, basically. You know? Insane. Which is better, to be fair. True. But I bet that game for like $2. It's like,

No, the remake. No, the remake for two bucks. It's like nothing. Because it failed. Because it failed effectively. So they're like, fuck it. Let's just make it nothing.

I mean, it was, it's just not building towards anything now. So like they're just kind of giving it away. Dude, Desperse remake for two bucks is a fucking massive steal. It's, absolutely by that. I'm really bummed about that.

Because that, I think is a perfect fucking survival argument. It has been good about what we said. Did you play Lise of P? No. You should play that game. Lise of P is great. Look, you should play that game.

Didn't you, like, kind of, I don't want to say shitting on it because that's not accurate, but like, weren't you, like, kind of talking down on it? I just didn't try it. I was like it. This game looks cool. I got to the beginning of the game. You like it now, though, right? I love that game.

Isn't it great? It's, like, way better than you think it is. I think it's not quite as, like, smooth as the other souls games, but I think it is is a better game than them. I think it's more, I think it's better directed. On eBay, every find has a story. Like, if you're looking for a vintage band tea, not just a tea, the band tea. from the last show your favorite band ever played.

You wore it everywhere. Then your BFF started glaring it, which is cute until they unfriended you and took it with them, which was not so cute. Anyway, now you're on eBay. And there it is, same tea from the same tour. Still living in your memory, rent-free forever. See?

The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you. But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your ex-BFF stole back. It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught, then heroically gave to the kid next to you. And where else are you going to find your first car? The one you wish you'd never sold, but now, you finally get the chance to take back home. For good this time.

Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story. eBay. Things people love. Hey, it's Howie Mandel, and I am inviting you to witness history as me and my Howie Do It Gaming Team take on Gilly to King and Wallow. 267's million dollars gaming in an epic global gaming league video game showdown.

Four rounds, multiple games, one winner, plus a halftime performance by multi-platin artist, Travis, Travis, Travis McCoy. Watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the championship match against Neo right now at global gaming league.com. That's global gaming league.com. Everybody games. Like, I actually feel like I'm making progress in the game as opposed to like meandering. Opposed to like Eldon Ring. It's cool. I think Eldon Ring is just the world. The world is.

it's so fucking cool, the Ledering. I think that's what, like, that game succeeds, genuinely. I think it feels nice to play and all that stuff, but I think there's a lot of bosses that are just, like, not. Did you pay the DLC for Lesb? Lesbis? I'm in it right now. Oh.

How is it? The first boss is a dog shit. The first boss is a really bad boss. That's a bummer. Like, genuinely, but afterwards, it's better in every way than the regular game. Mm-hmm. Well, you should try it out.

It's really, really, really, really good. It's not cheap enough for me to want to play it. Really? Do you have a PlayStation? I have it for PlayStation? I have it for PlayStation. You got it for, oh, I don't pay for PlayStation Or, do you have a game pass at all?

Oh, do you have a month? It, I don't think it's on GamePass, though. No, it was on Game Pass. It was, it's not now. That's true. You can, I would recommend, if you could find it for cheap, like, wait for a sale. That's a lot. I would, no, it's not.

It's not enough for me to want to play. Like, even, like, say, I play the original Lords of the Fallen. It's a fucking terrible. It's an absolutely terrible game. I heard that about that. And then they fucking, you know, made this rebooted kind of thing of it. And I was like, cool. Still not cheap enough.

I think you can get it for like 20 bucks now. But like I've had my feel of Soulsborn for a while. And for me to play another one, it's got to be. Like say the Blacksmith Wukon was free for me. So that's why I played. Otherwise, I wasn't going to play it. I was not going to play. That game was very underwhelming.

I don't. That game's opening was really cool. And it kind of was all downhill from that point. I really hated it. I'm just like, opening was dope. The opening was really, really fire.

The beginning was cool. Opening got me really excited for the prospect of what was to come. Because I felt like it was going to be like a character action game, like a bayonetta type, something like that, right?

But then, but then like it kind of became like a, just a worst souls game. And you're just like, oh. Dude, the thing that was crazy to me is so spectacle.

Those giant gods, and I'm like, I can't wait to beat the piss out of them. And you just don't. Don't. I was like, why are they even here? Like, that was...

They put you under a mountain. That was, huh? They put you under a mountain. That's all they did. And I'm just like, I don't, I, the, the Chinese guy could have put me. The guy could have, you know what I'm saying? I don't need that in the background to hype me up with thinking, I've never seen, I've really never seen that before, I guess.

I'm thinking a game where I'm like, it shows these big ass motherfuckers. Well, dude, like that's, look, that's China's M.O. is promising you, you know, a really great future that you just kind of end up with a monotonous life and then you die. It's fucking Timo, man. Exactly. It's a Wukong. They're making really good steps in, uh, in what you call it, in respecting humans' lives.

Yeah. They're doing, yeah. I mean, it's, you know, uh, credit for them. Credit for. For them. Anybody making progress is a thing to be like, cool. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Cool. That's good. Yeah. It's better than it not being or the way that it was before. We're fucking suicide nets and Foxcon. You know what I'm saying? I mean, they still might have suicide nets. I don't know.

I haven't looked at them. They just have spears that. come up and secure them before they hit the ground. They're about it. If I got a little thing opens to take them away, and then there's no evidence. Yeah, exactly. You can't even open a place if you wanted to. No, fuck no.

It's completely sealed. It's like it's like a reverse iron dome. But for falling people instead of missiles. Is this a slide? You know up off and it's a slide and you end up right back in your seat to work. Yeah. That's fucking awesome. That would be a good investment.

That's awesome. If I heard that on Shark Tank, I would invest. You know? I'll give you, I'll give you $7. I'll give you $7 for all of the fucking company. $7. Give you $7 and the rest of this turkey sandwich.

I'll give you $8. It's like a bite and a half. It's crust. He doesn't eat the crusty to the crust top and he's like, well, you know. There is a bite and a half a sandwich. This nigg is confused why you won't go with him. spit of a billionaire on here. You should be thankful that I'm even offering this to you. I hate how we got to worshipping billionaire so much, man. I mean, that's, that's been a thing for a while.

Yeah, but it's, it's just weird how like, it was, it's insane how much we do it. Like, it's like, genuine, like, deifying. I think it's just people are stupider now, like, genuinely. Like, people say, people have all sorts of excuses where it's like, nah, it's just the internet making people seem dumb. And like, maybe that's true to some extent. But I do think people, like, this Nick Shirley guy, like, I don't know much about, like, I'm sure people are going to be in the comments being like, they know a lot more about Nick Shirley than I knew. I genuinely found out about this guy like maybe 30 minutes before we started recording, so I don't know much.

He's the guy like who's, I think, pretty pivotal in the Somali fraud thing. He was the, the guy, right? He was the guy that was trying to prove fraud and then people dismantled his arguments. But these people, but these people, like, they come up in the right wing circles and they're just the stupid. They're authentically the stupidest people. Like beyond, like he just didn't know what the word benevolent. meant when he was talking to Andrew Callahan.

All sorts of shit. Oh, he asked him about benevolent billionaires. Yeah, who's the most benevolent billionaire? And he's like, what is belevenant? And it's like, bro, you're... At that point, you just, you take a mallet to his face. I don't know. I think the biggest problem is that we're still trying to, like, meet them in debate.

And it just doesn't work. Yeah, I agree. I completely agree. Do you see Pearl, just pearly things? That was real. I almost felt bad. I didn't. My heart almost like, my heart almost stirred.

And I was like, this dumb bitch looks so stupid up there. I was somebody through a riot. I got her. Like a frozen egg? I like that you like, no, egg. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. There was a base thought and then there was like, I got to say it.

Egg. It is crazy. I was going to say rotten egg. There you go. Yeah, yes. I got you. She froze, man. It was, I don't know.

She did the same thing, though, when she, who is it? Taylor Lawrence. Is that her name? I don't. Taylor Lorenz. You know better than me. Yeah, Taylor Lorenz. Excuse me.

I felt like a caveman, by the way, just now, just like trying to make sounds the sound. Taylor. Taylorins had a little bit of a, they remember they were sitting down outside. It looked like outside of like a restaurant or something, like on the outside patio. Wait, Taylor Lorenz or Tommy Lauren. No, Taylor Lorenz, like an actual, the, the one that's beefing with Ethan Klein for some fucking reason. Oh, yeah, I don't know. I don't know what it is because I follow her on Twitter.

And then every once in a while I would see, I'm like, what the fuck? I don't care enough to look into it. Yeah. That was like, anyway, she had a little thing with her. If I, and, and she did have those pausing things like that, too. That, I just jogged my memory. I mean, Elon has them too. If you've ever seen Elon have a conversation, he just like he, he, he, he just goes into a ketamine fucking.

I like that they try to say, oh, he's so, he's such a genius that there's too many thoughts going through. I'm like, yeah, that's what's happening. Yeah, there's so many, like, did you see? Did you see this is the, this is, by the way, the only thing that we really have to talk about. There's a couple other things happening, but like, this is the, this is the, this is the, this is the, this is the, this is the, one that caught my attention was, uh, so Grock on Twitter, if you've been on Twitter for like the last couple of weeks, which depending on when you're listening to this, it's either irrelevant or it has no basis. But people have been going to Grock. Like they've been commenting on people's

like women's pictures and they'd be like, hey, Grock, turn her around, put her in a bathing suit, put her in a bikini, you know, put, you know, fucking glazed donut glaze on her face or whatever. And it's just been doing it. Yeah. And it did it to like, it's, it does it to anybody, regardless, or it did it to anybody. And so, like, people were doing it to minors. And so they were getting in trouble, obviously, because generating artificial intelligence images of minors in suggestive sexual situations is, you know,

not fantastic, I think. Hmm, yeah. And so what they did was, so what they did, did you see what they did? No, what happened. So they were like, you're right, this is bad. We're going to put it behind the premium paywall.

Oh, so you can still do it? Yeah, you can still do it. But you got to pay for it now. I thought you, I guess, I don't understand what Twitter works anymore. I thought you had to be a member to use GROC in the first place. Right, but like I think, I think there's Twitter and then

there's like a GROC. There's like a sub thing. Maybe like an extra tier or something. Maybe. If not, then it's just double stupid. Because it's, I don't know. I don't know. I saw going there like, like, hey, Grock, remove the pedophile. It's always removing Trump's picture. Hey, bro, move the pedophile.

I did see people doing something like that. Hey, remove the likely sex pest and it's removed. It really is just a video. Oh my God. It's on brand. I will say that. I've been seeing a bunch of videos on my Instagram feed of, first of all, I mistakenly made Instagram, a freaking chat with people that I didn't think would know each other.

But then what happened is the people that didn't know each other are just sitting each other the most fucked up means. Wait, who? Because the chat that I made. Is that that one that like I started? What the fuck is this? Oh, yeah. I got a message from Christians for Jesus. And I was like, how the fuck did this show in my primary DM?

I made a mistake because of the fact that I was meant to send a bunch of different memes. Oh, you got all the fucked up people I know. And then I basically sent to send a group. So now there's a group of all the people I know that send the most fucked up memes to each other. Yeah. And what happened is I found this. This is really is really fucked up.

But I found this video of like there's this like it's pretty fucked. Yeah, I know. you're talking about it. There's a bunch of videos of people going to thrift shops and like just wild thing you'll find. This one is like Nick Tender where it's literally like a orange fucking sweatshirt

and it says Nick Tendo on it. Nick Tendo? Oh, is this the one with the baby thing, the baby clothes or the onesie that says the N-WR-O it looks like it. I saw that. The optical illusion. Yeah. That's so clearly intentional. Yeah, absolutely. It's

not a perfect. That's awesome. There's another one where the The guy goes there and he sees his shirt and he's like, oh, this shirt has a really weird branding. And it has J.E. on it. And it looks, you know the famous picture Epstein where he's like smiling? It's that same picture shirt from the picture. And the guy was like instant cop. And he ran a thrift store.

He like actively ran to the register to buy it. Yeah. I get it. Would you buy that shirt? Absolutely. That's a bad. That is. Because you're not funding.

It's not like you're funding Jeffrey Epstein. It's a thrift store. Yeah. I don't think there's. Buying the worst shit ever at a thrift store is like A-OK to me. That used to be my pastime. And I took- That was my bad.

I took a break because no joke, fucking MacLamore ruined thrifting. Oh my God. He ruined it. He actually did. You see my, you know my rock tie that I have? You see that rock tie at the wedding?

Like, I got it from a thrift store. I was like, that's the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life. And shit like that used to be at thrift stores all the fucking time. You can't go thrifting in L.A. though. It's already ruined here. Is McLemore a Nazi or no?

I think he... Because he, you know, he's got the look of like, you know... He's just white. We and Joseph went to a bar the other day and we, for some reason... Saw him? No, that subject about him being... Because he's got the Nazi haircut. You're talking about the Nazi haircut.

Which, to be fair, it's not... You know, whatever. It's a haircut. But it's not like a must-sad mustache is more conspicuous. But, yeah, I don't know, man. I think that's why he was projecting so hard because he was like... I'm ultra-progressive. I'm gonna kill some jews.

He's only got three jewels in my oven. I got my fucking my pocket. I can fit more my oven. Come here, Jewish people. I got the fucking pennies. The Holocaust is fucking awesome. He just forces the Holocaust. I don't know.

I think McLemore was just annoyingly white. I don't know. He was annoyingly white. That's about it. He didn't do anything wrong. I think he was... Yeah, whatever. I think he's a fake liberal

and he was actually a Nazi. And that's why he's a performative progressive. And I think that's very annoying. I think that's one of the most annoying things. Yeah, in reality. I get that vibe from Mark Ruffalo a lot. Well, I'm on the podcast. I think Mark Ruffalo is old.

I think Mark Ruffalo is the most world's notorious Nazi. Really? On eBay, every find has a story. Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea. Not just a T, the band T. From the last show your favorite band ever played. You wore it everywhere. Then your BFF started glaring it, which is cute,

until they unfriended you and took it with them. them, which was not so cute. Anyway, now you're on eBay. And there it is, same tea from the same tour, still living in your memory, rent-free forever. See? The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you. But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your XBFF stole back. It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught, then heroically gave to the kid next to you. And where else are you go to find your first car. The one you wish you never sold, but now, you finally get the chance to take back home for good this time. Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story. eBay, things people love.

Hey, it's Howie Mandel, and I am inviting you to witness history as me and my Howie Do It Gaming Team take on Gilly to King and Wallow 267's million dollars gaming in an epic global gaming League video game showdown. Four rounds, multiple games, one winner, plus a halftime performance by multi-platinam artist, Travis, Travis, Travis McCoy. Watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the championship match

against Neo. Right now at global gaming league.com. That's global gaming league.com. Everybody games. Yeah, that's why he was the Hulk. I don't know why that makes sense, but... Hulk is not Nazi like at all. There's an allegory for fascism.

They were trying to punish him by making... Hulk is an allegory for fascism. Oh, explain. He's green Okay, yes Like fascism Like fascism The green

That's on the fascist radar Green is the highest Not red green Continue Red is So gamma Gama Start just bleeding out his nose

Gamma He starts puking out of one of it He says puke out only one nostril You ever see somebody Puk out their nose It's really fucking funny Because you know they don't feel Like you know the process of it

Getting through there It's fucking up their day That's so gross. You've seen it before, right? I've seen, no, actually, I haven't. You've never seen somebody throwing. Because you know it's somebody doing their best to like contain. Yeah.

Because like their mouth is shut so like this is going to help. And then it's like, and then you know some of it's in their eye a little bit. And they turned it to a walrus for a bit. There's a frame where there's like, I know. I saw a video of a friend of, yeah, he's a friend of mine. I don't know. I never know what to call people when I know them relatively well. I didn't say an acquaintance.

That's the actual... It's more than acquaintance, but less than... I don't know. It's just a acquaintance. A friend of mine. It's like when you're averaging, you know, you round up or round down. That's valid. Yeah.

A friend of mine was on ketamine and threw up in a bush. You know what's crazy? And he looked like a walrus for a second. I definitely have... You definitely do. I don't want to have acquaintances. Everybody has acquaintances. This guy...

What do you mean? Well, I guess, yeah, I guess kids in a concentration can't... Might not have fucking acquaintances. Because I just have people... I have people that have... actively spend a good amount of time with and then that's just it like I haven't really stepped outside of my zone in a lot hot while well what do you consider a friend I guess like you know that I would have at my home right well I don't know I have the maintenance guy in my house there's a lot

of look I don't have a lot if I invite you to my house if I know you and I invite you to my house you're using in front of mine because I'm letting you sit in my home if I consider a friend somebody where like I'll call them and and I'll talk to them or like they know about they know about my life more than like a fucking internet person would you know what I mean like a collaborator or something I because I feel like I don't really equate with people because like I had acquaintances when I was playing cards for a bit but then the ones that I kept around became my friends and those are actually my friends you can't possibly not I don't know a single person that you don't know super well not well enough that I like keep in contact with them really you

know it's not about keeping in contact like there's a lot of this is what I'm saying that's what an acquaintance would be because like most people I know I like I actively like spend time with Yeah. What do you consider? What do you think in acquaintances? Appointing. It's like someone like, oh, I hang out with this person because they're both at the same place. We're not really like hitting each other up to hang out or doing anything with like really interact with each other like that.

And I feel like most of the people I directly interact with like especially like right now in my life. I just, I don't really either they're that or they're not either they're that or they're like my family. You know, a fact of I consider my family. So it's like I don't really have acquaintances right now. I'm not really exploring outside of my direct like people who I, like people who I. care about exploring it's just like you you find yourself places where you're like oh hey how's it going it's been like eight months and then you you know you catch up or you don't have anybody like no but i usually i mean i usually talk to my friends pretty often i bet at like like a vidcon

creator clash yeah like stuff like that is like oh these are my acquaintances that's what i'm that's that's what i'm saying you have that but i guess okay yeah i guess of course those are those those are people i just know through why why do you why i get to be a different i get what i get what you mean though because i feel like those people i feel like content creators in general are like they don't exist until they exist, you know? Yeah. It's like, you, you don't. You don't.

You don't. They're kind of glazed over my mind. Like, yeah, like an acquaintance. I guess. Those are people that you like, but you don't make a distinct effort to like reach out to every week. Because even like those spaces, like I'm not really even talking to most people. I'm like, ah.

Yeah. Like Mek Canyon. You know? I like Mekan. I don't know him that well, though. That's true. That's an acquaintance. I hate that nigga.

That's true. I forgot. Yeah. You're, you're, you're a meat Canyon. We've had some deep. history that you guys don't know about. Had some heated conversations. That's some heated debates.

Live in freaking Burbank Town Center. Some heated conversations. We've had some, uh, some brew ha-haz for sure. Yeah. You know, I'm actually really, uh, yes. Disappointed. Yeah. That is it.

That's it right there. I'm actually really yes. Dude, one of my most popular covers I've done, not the gay shit, but just a real one, has him on it. And I think it got caught in the hour. the rhythm probably because of his name and it's one of the worst things I've ever done oh you hate the mix of it it's fucking everything about it I

hate everything about it and you gotta at a certain point though like do people like it like what's the like ratio on it if the likes are fine I you gotta get out of your own head there at that point I'm sure I'm sure you're George Lucasing listen you're George Lucas listen this could have been better listen listen let's make Anakin Skywalker let's make He'll just pee and he showed through his gray sweatpants. Listen, I completely understand what you're saying. I completely, and to a degree, I agree with you. But I would want to be like a lawyer right now and be like, um, jury, ladies and gentlemen

of the jury, whatever the fuck they say. And, and be like, here's Exhibit A, here's their original song. And then here's this cover. Like, come on. It would, yeah. Come on. This sounds like shit. Right.

This sounds like shit. But people like that it sounds like shit. I feel like people are being nice and they think it's cool, but it's not something like a real musician would probably be like, oh, it's fucking dog shit. But they'll give it a like anyway just for effort. I think you to shut the fuck up because I feel like that's you reading way too much into shit. It's like, if it lands, it lands, you know.

That's ultimately what it means. My biggest, my biggest song is one that's mixed fucking horribly. And I remember I didn't attempt at a re-I'm still not a great mixer. I don't know. I don't really know what the fuck I'm doing. But I did a remaster of it that is better. Uh-huh. A lot of people do like that one too

But like there is There's a lot of people who still love that original one They the original I understand fandom Like say even One of my favorite bands is Misfits I hate their old recordings Because it's that's all they had

It was just trash can shit right I like Mr. Fitz person Mr. Fits is actually just a little bit better than Miss Fins That's so fucking stupid That is so goddamn stupid You just got It was so dumb that you didn't even catch it around

I'm like Mr. Fitz Like Fitzpatrick Fitzgerald? The fuck? Sometimes you gotta get I'm gonna start a band Call Mr. Fitz now Let me say this fuck

It's gonna be in the same font too The same exact logo Mr. Fitz Yeah But What oh yeah I actually would like A modern versions

It's like live When they play live They're using modern tech So it sounds fucking awesome So I was like A re-recording The old shit's still there It's classic

It's never gonna go away Right. But I would love a re-recording and I would like to just hear that and it would be like, oh, this is awesome. Yeah, I would never, I would never like replace the original. Exactly. And that's not, and that's not. Do what Taylor Swift did. Replace for her old music.

Well, she had to do it. I know. So that's like a different thing where it's like, okay, I understand that. You know, she didn't own the masters at first. Now she does. But like, I think this is what people, they think that they're trying to replace them. Like if they were, like, for example, there's a band called Whitechapel that took their old album off a Spotify and the streaming things and replaced it with.

the remixed and I hate it because the levels some of the levels with the the vocals it like ruined it for me and sometimes you know I think a lot of it is just like people get older and so like they like you're hearing changes you hear different frequencies as you get older

when you're younger true and so like things that stand out to you when you're later when you're older don't stand out as much when you're younger or like and vice versa so people like who remester their stuff when they're like 20 years afterwards They're like they're not hearing That is true

What the original really is supposed to sound like And so like it gets all fucked up The thing that blows my mind is like There's certain like I don't maybe Maybe you've experienced this too Where it's just like there's parts of certain songs Whether it's like an underlying melody or whatever

Like a guitar or like a bass or whatever That you think is like oh that's the star of the show really And everything is kind of built around this And there's a remaster and you can barely hear that part It's like they don't understand that's like star of it I'm blown away by that It is you imagine if the gorillas was like oh

feel good ink is the the bass it's like what that's the whole song it's not about it's not of it that song is the bass if they turn the bass line they turn down the bass turn up the guitar and yeah it would be very fucking unrescentable

it's like a gross I've never really noticed the guitar that much until somebody broke it down like you know they they separated all the stems I played it on the on the show oh right you did do that too blew my mind when I heard I was like I was like Ew, that guitar part is disgusting by itself.

That's crazy. It's just super simple. It's like, oh, this is like, but it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's dissonant, which works. It is. But like, like, it's like, it's like the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the ACDC guy. Yeah. Where he's like, yeah, and you're like, that's, that's, that's, that's a crazy shoot that man. But you play guitar over him and he's like, oh, this works for whatever it's.

It somehow does work. What does stand for? What do you, ACDC? Yeah. Asian cunt Oh go ahead, sorry You gave up You gave up

You gave up You were like I'm gonna push the bill on to him So he can fuck it up Yeah I don't know Asian cunt Dominican cunt

That's all I think There's no ethnicity in that band at all It's just Australians All right man So we couldn't think of anything And I saw on the telly There was some Asian cunt

and some fucking Dominican content I thought all the letters I feel like Australians don't know what Dominicans are I feel like that's like that's like space to them I think you're totally right

I don't think you know what that ain't no way in Australia they've heard of probably Puerto Ricans not Dominicans I am St. Tomian and I talk to Americans about St. Tomians and they have no clue

what that is well they certainly don't know they certainly don't know what St. Thomas She was like she they're like what the fuck is that and I'm like it's the island next to Puerto Rico

and they're like Puerto Rico What is it? Cricy. Are there A gay? I did it, Nair. You know what we need to do, right?

We need to resurrect our criminal rapist ancestors and put them on that island. That's conjuring the book. They're a prison island. They fucking actually come. They do it, though. It actually works.

They start, I don't know, they just fucking dance around wallabies for three hours and people start resurrecting. They're whipping Aborigines fucking, and getting them like to like do it right they get raid and they make it some of it like oh please leave you alone they're whipping the bones you know that's crazy motherfucker they're almost gone that's really sad they're like they're like barely there that's really a fortunate bit they're like

the native america's you know it's you originals how many like people that would be connected to like you know myans and the incas and stuff are like actually still around there's like less than a hundred there's like there's less in Puerto Rico right now and they're all crazy They're gone. They're gone. They're going. I guess how couldn't you be driven crazy, I guess? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do in Puerto Rico, people with over 75% Tino blood, there's less than 75, I think, left on the island. They better to start fucking. Fucking insane. You got to fuck each other. They send us out. My grandma's half. Do you force them to have sex? That's crazy.

But probably you shouldn't because they're probably all related. I know. There's probably one family that just got away. What else can you do? There's only so much. Hey, man, there's not much food in the oven. And when there's not much food and up you gotta dig in the fridge.

Damn, that's... What the hell is that means? I don't like how that's... I don't fully understand. You know? Real Kingston? Did the real? Like...

This whole thing has been a character and that's the real. That's real. I would... How unsettling would that be? If I didn't break character, how... I've known you for like, what?

14 years? If I didn't break character for... No, not 14. Maybe like 12? 12. 13? You've known me for too long, but like not 14 years. 12 years? Maybe.

Yeah, about that, I think. And I didn't break character. Once. Not once out of all that time. Even when we were living together. When I wake up half of sleep. Hey. Hey. Hey, Pokemon.

He doesn't care at all. I'm not the things I care about. I'm dating Lily for a bit. I went to leave because of the bit. Like, everything is just a long bit. He doesn't even like card games. He's allergic to cards and he wears gloves that look like his hands to touch the cards and play cards. I have much smaller hands.

much more petite than they actually are. You're completely different. You're late to put on a suit. That's crazy. You're like, you have to wake up like seven of the morning to get ready. Do a routine. When I'm here on time, it's actually a feat. Yeah.

You woke up at like eight and you're like, fuck. I'm going to have to lose like an hour or something. And then you fucking get the whole thing going on. I have to do it. I'm next to Lily too. She's sleeping. And I have to put a fucking suit on and then sleep in it. You would get cancer, right?

Something would go wrong. At like at a certain point, like having to live that version of a lie for that long. Something, that has to do something chemically. Something would fail for sure. Something you would like fail and fall apart. Your kidney would like turn to dust overnight.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd be like, I can't do this anymore. It's really impressive, man. It's not insane. Stuff like that's not impressive. That's just stupid. You know,

it's like you're not impressive for shocking your balls every single day. Like you're not impressive for that. You're stupid. Well, I mean, it's a little. You have a goal and I can respect you have a goal, but you're stupid for doing that. Yeah, I think it's all of that. It's impressive. It's stupid.

It's aspirational. Sometimes stupidity. I am, look, sometimes, like, I'm impressed by just pearly things. On eBay, every find has a story. Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea. Not just a tea. The band tea. From the last show your favorite band ever played.

You wore it everywhere. Then your BFF started glaring it. which is cute until they unfriended you and took it with them, which was not so cute. Anyway, now you're on eBay. And there it is, same tea from the same tour. Still living in your memory, rent-free forever. See? The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you. But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your XBFF stole back.

It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught, then heroically gave to the kid next to you. And where else are you going to find your first car? The one you wish you never sold, but now, you finally get the chance to take back home. For good this time. Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story. eBay, things people love. Has the news been getting you down?

I'm Megan McArdle, and I'm here to help. I'm the host of a news show from Washington Post Opinion called Reasonably Optimistic. And it's an antidote to the pessimism that's riddling America right now. Every Wednesday, I'm going to talk to people. who see a path forward. It does seem to me that there is some awakening of a desire to act together, to solve problems where they are. I am a believer in America.

That's worth fighting for. Join me Wednesdays on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm impressed that she continues to embarrass herself in this capacity. That I'm like, that she went on that debate stage because somebody was like, you got this. And you heard somebody in the first. crowd that even said it. You got this Pearl! While she's like Well she's catatonic.

Well she's like the Bishol hereditary. Remember hereditary? You're heredity 18 when he's fucking fucking fucking turns off. It looks like that literally. She's seeing like fucking like animaniacs running around in her vision. If someone said like what is the opposite of turning? Who said?

Wacko. Give up, nigga. It's over. That's what the accent, right? I can't remember what the I know one of them is like the Beatles. I think it's wacko. Yeah, because Yako's the tall one. And Wacko's like, I think we're all gay. Is that right?

I think he's got like that. I know it's one of, yeah. He's got a Liverpool kind of thing. Yeah. You should really kill yourself. You're on stage right now. Take your own life. You're not with it.

I've watched someone a long time. I've watched that one in a long time, man. I'm going to kill John Lennon. I'm going to kill myself. I'm going to shoot John Lennon with a gun. Help. Have you read Catcher in the Roy? You're asking that, right?

No. No, he just went with the book or something. No, he was this fucking insane asshole. Probably. I don't know. He's stupid assholes inspired by. Because it was very publicly. He publicly killed him. So people were like, that guy just shot John. That guy that's on top of his body shot him. He's standing on. That's not shooting. He was still shooting in the cops game. Crazy. He like, he got an autograph from him first. This is crazy. I'm like, what the fuck?

That's, that's insult to injury. Kill it. That's like an R-grader's interaction. What a... I feel like a low-tier kill. I think people need to look into it again and like... Because I feel like... Isn't there like a thing that Ben Shapiro's dad killed him or something?

Wasn't there like a thing? Oh, no. No, no, you're taking Ted Cruz. Bench Cruz's dad? No, Ted Cruz's dad is a Zodiac killer. Oh. Oh, no, no, no, sorry. Ted Cruz's dad killed John Lennon and...

And he's... Ted Cruz is a Zodiac Killer. He's a Zodiac Killer. Do you remember? Do you remember when that joke died? No, what do you mean? I remember. The Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer.

Yeah. Like that was like a fun little joke for a minute. And then I think it was at the White House Correspondence Dinner. Somebody, oh, the guy. Oh my God. The, like, he's like an older black dude who used to have like a political talk show. And he, like, he, like, he was. Don Lemon?

No. He had a political. Oh, my God. The chat's going to know. Is he like, he's in the, like, public? Or is he like. He used to be more. well known. He's pretty

low tier now. He's, he was like a left-wing guy, but he had like a, I think, I think Francesca Ramsey was on his show. Like, he worked on it. It was like a weird, it was a long time ago, but he did like a White House correspondence dinner or something or did a show where he just kept mentioning that Ted Cruz is the Zodiac killer. And he was like, ah, man, you just,

he kind of ruined it. Because he does look a lot like the drawings. It's really gross. Like, it's kind of like. Have you guys seen a meme where it's like, you know what? My dad was captured a Yuba for years. I hate him, but he's an intergent to the Bidista's opening from wrestling where he comes out. He like does the fucking, it's, he talks about.

I have not seen this. You've not seen. You've never seen this. Where Ted Cruz is talking about like, he's when he was having a conversation with, uh, with Tart Carlson. And he was like,

I hate communism. My dad was captured for years by Batista. I did see that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He did a terrible job explaining. I understand now.

Yeah. That really was like trying to like, I mean, like a Rorschach of a sentence. I miss, I miss young Batista man, when he was. Yeah

Benning Beading Seeing someone His size do backflips He never made sense to me He's like why can he do a backflip Like what for what purpose Why do you see when a Brock Lesner

tried to do a shooting star Frogslas He almost broke his neck He's so funny He probably can do that But at the same time It's like you're too big To be trying stuff like this

But then he got nervous And fucking almost killed himself Imagine a world where he actually did Like his neck is just like, you know, his head is on his shoulders. Yeah. Permanently. What if he didn't die? They can't break it back.

They're too strong. They're like, oh, like, 10 people trying to live life like that. He has to live life like that. And the fucked up thing is they're very much about like, oh, the show must go on. Yeah. So with his head being on his shoulders, they would have had to, with Kurt Engel, would have to, like, finish the match somehow. We have directly seen them have the show must go on while they're up there crying. I remember literally seeing me.

them crying. They were crying. What's his name? The Rock was crying. Triple H was clearly traumatized. Was that when Eddie Guerrero died? No, it was Owen. Oh, when O.

Owen. Right, right, right. Dude, I don't like triple H. I think he's a huge piece of shit. He was like trembling up there trying to continue the show. And it's like, what the. That is a, that is such a specific type of trauma where like, oh, my friend just died and I have to like.

My good friend. They're making, they're making me work. That is actually crazy. They're probably fucked up forever for that. Oh, genuinely, I'm not like tackled that, like, in their minds like, oh, I saw. Because everybody loved Owen, too, which is crazy. Because that's not even like a war zone, right? Where, like, your friend dies and you've got to keep doing what you're doing to survive.

Yeah. You don't, you're not, there's nothing survival oriented about what you're doing. They're just making you do it. Right. That's so much worse. So, Brett fucking hates of it. I still feel like it was, I, I'm upset that there isn't enough conspiracy theories about that he, was sacrificed for hurting Stone Cold

because Owen Hart did a pile driver on Stone Cold Steve Austin and broke his neck and like they had to like finish the match all shit like a shitty roll up because Stone Cold was so like he did a roll up he was so fucked up like they had to just end the match and he rolled him up so shittily it was so obvious that he's so fucked

and you hurt the cash cow like Stone Cold was the most popular wrestler in the world at the time. How dare you Owen Hart? That's why he became the blue fucking whatever I can't even remember right now, but um, there is, there's no evidence, you know, obviously they, there was just a malfunction with the wires and shit, but I feel in my hearts of hearts, knowing Vince

McMahon, knowing the people that he surrounds himself with that I'm like, they were doing a rib, you know, which is like fucking with me, like punishing you in a certain way. Um, no, I would, I guess I wouldn't call it a rib because the ribs is supposed to be a gag, right? Like a horrible joke. This was like, we're going to punish you. And maybe they didn't mean to kill him, but like he still was killed and it's like, oh well. Right. Like no one's possible. He did hurt Stone Cold C. Vosso, by the way. He didn't do it intentionally. He might have hurt him, but I don't, we don't know. Sorry, I don't know if he did. So there's no, look, and why this conspiracy theory has not gone far is because there's no evidence of anything, unfortunately. But my

thing is like, we barely found out about how like that one girl that he took that poor chick and gave her a job and he just started having the wrestlers fuck her. shit on her head. You remember this? Maybe. Yeah, this was like, this was years ago. Pandemic shit.

I'm detached. I remember this, this vague conversation. Yeah. I'm not connected to the rest of I don't know. Yeah. So like it just, there's so much horrible stuff

and it's like that's scratching the service, right? It's clearly an iceberg. Sure. And it's like, all right, man, how much crazy shit has he done

and has he been involved in anything even like worse? Like murders? I'm like, my, the odds I would say, why not? Why wouldn't you be?

Like you think of the administration, you get into the administration right now, like Donald Trump, probably be beforehand, not directly involved in pushing the button as far as the murders go. And, but I'm sure being as powerful as he is,

yeah. Why would you, like, people need to like stop thinking, oh, you know, your petty thug that lives in the Nucks neighborhood. They're the only ones capable of doing horrible shit.

That's what blows my mind about that is like, it's crazy that we just seem to like have collectively forgotten about the 2008 financial crises and like some a bunch of dudes in suits like ruined

everything yeah and like that's no no it's only like a dude who's like stealing a purse or something like that's the only

real crime to people the only real criminals are immigrants you've just stabilized the entire world for decades we got the real criminals

are immigrants dude that's it yeah yeah you're right actually you're right never mind I forget I said I can't tell you something doing a great job

so what happens is you can at least thank ice really crazy, I'm going to start before you answer. Let me tell you something funny. Hey, before you go, think ice. No, but uh, uh, like for chilling my beverage. I love the videos of the ice officer slipping on ice.

People are making some dope edits with that shit. There's so many of them. You got to change your name at a certain point, right? Like, you can't be ice-a- You can't be-or-the-chillies now. You can be anything else, like immigration. We're the queens. The immigration. Well, that's not.

That's our slur. I don't. Anything. Anything that isn't ice. really. Because it's embarrassing. Association of serving citizens. There you go.

Ass. Yes. Wouldn't you want to be ass? Well, ask. Citizens with an ass. Ah, fuck. My dumb fucking brain really did that. My fucking brain really turned citizens into an S.

Well, we're going to start a kick by a gas. So you guys heard about the MIT. We should move on to some questions after this. But serving. Serving. The what? MIT shooting. MIT when?

Another one. No, the one that happened recently. The one that, where the guy, the tourist, I think was MIT. I don't know about that.

So, I went there and like, let me look at the beach. Oh, so, oh, there was a college shooting. There was a college shooting.

I don't, yeah, what about it? You know, what's really funny is, you know? So this is, this is,

this is, really unique. So there's been a lot of breakthroughs in our, in a, what's called, in,

fusion, like fission and stuff like that, like energy creation. Of course you guys don't fucking care about you dumb assholes But there's a lot of breakthroughs, right? And of course, this is a really big thing happening scientifically, a lot of us be moving forward

And interesting, the lead of American studies of it The person in American is the most further along in that study Was killed during that shooting And people are like, yeah, the shooter had This is why, that's why, guys No, so you're insinuating that this wasn't, No, it's not a coincidence. It's like, oh, he had a bad blow with him.

It was like, no, he didn't. He killed a guy that was probably going to have some sort of breakthrough. It was going to help people. So what do you think happened? I think what happened was, that's great. That's great. Let's fall asleep. Oh, damn it.

You guys are shit, man. This is why. This is why. You guys are helped the reason. Listen, I, look, I completely understand what you're saying. I think I finally watched that new Chappelle special. And, of course, there was a lot of it, though, towards the beginning was kind of like stupid.

Yeah. He's like, oh, I'm gonna tie more trans stuff into it. I get it. But then I don't care. But like towards the end and his closer, I thought it was actually really fucking funny because even though I feel like he probably believes in a lot of conspiracy theories himself,

he was trying to make a point. And I like that he didn't explain at the end though, because he was talking about like, oh, Nipsey and like Nipsey was going to make a documentary about this guy that cured AIDS and all this shit and the Nipsey got killed. And the guy, he's been getting fucked with or something, whatever.

And then, you know, he had a friend that said, a comedian friend that said he was going to have AIDS and he was going to die of AIDS. And he's like, no, hell no. And he took him to that guy that cure AIDS. And then the punchline at the very end was that like, oh, yeah, it turns out that that nigga died of AIDS. And like, that's the punchline. That was it.

But the idea is like, well, that was all bullshit then. Yeah. He couldn't clear aid. He couldn't cure AIDS. The first thing about Dave Chappelle is that he is good. He can be good. Yeah. And that was a good joke.

There was a couple other ones too. that. It's pretty good. It was good. Most of it, I enjoyed most of it. I still think, like, his earlier stuff is stronger than what he's done lately.

Sure. By, like, a mile. I thought Stakes and Stones was fucking hilarious, though. I thought when he first came back, yeah. When he first came back, I thought that was hysterical.

But, um, the frustrating thing about him is, like, yeah, like, I mean, I think you're generally, like, you're generally in the right space, but then you just make these weird,

like, detours into weird spaces. He's just old. Or it's just lazy. He's just old. It is just kind of, He's an old guy who like, I think. But that was a good bit.

That was like that. I really like that. He danimates. That was really good. I was like, oh, great. Yeah. And in that same way. So I brought that up because of, I'm like, all right.

I'm of, I'm half and half on what you said. Because it could so, it could be clearly, I'll kill that nigger or it was just a really unfortunate event. I think, I think unfortunate events are. They usually happen in a series. Yeah. Usually involving a character named Limitie's naked. Yeah. Because it's kind of the way that Nipsey, if you look into how he died, I'm like, this one's

conspiracy. It was just a jealous nigga that shot him because he was, this chick was fucking, like, his girl was swooning over Nipsey. And this jealous ass nigga just fucking killed him because of that. That's so unfortunate because Nipsey is such a, he was such a, like, for being a gang member and a very involved gang member, he wasn't a. evil person, you know. But I feel like most game members aren't really evil people.

These are the ones I've encountered. They're not really evil. They're just kind of scary. Yeah. Because of what you know about them. They're not exactly because of what they've exactly done. It's not evil. It's like, um, they're dangerous.

They're guided and I would say like maybe misguided and not a lot of, um, I don't know. I wouldn't call it evil. They're just, they're not the IDF. Let me get. The IDF is like evil to the point is like, oh, this is crazy. It's like the kind of things that you would like, you'd see on the, On the Saturday morning cartoons, you'd be like, huh, that's so silly how ridiculous that over the top that is. Right.

And as much as we do it. And it's like, shoot that child in the hand. It's 10 points. I mean, fucking insane. Literally. Literally actually. Someone comes to what a sign puts Hamas here. They do a thumbs up and run off and it gets fucking camera don.

It's the same. Having a fucking Hamas is here is the same as having the fucking laser. Dom. Dom. It's Hamas. It's, I don't know, man. I think, I think Dave Chappelle was really... Olaugbar.

Allah. Shal lo! That's crazy. Nah, we kid. Gears of War. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, there's... Gradles of War is ridiculous. Dradles of War.

Goys of War. Goys. Goys of War. Goys of War. Goys of War. Goys of War. Let's move on. Let's get the question.

from our patrons over at patreon.com slash a snark tank. Remember you can go over there and fucking, you know, do all the shit. Oh, should we haven't gotten a question yet? La H. I'm trying to... I feel like trying to pull on. La Hie.

We'll get to it. We'll be good. We've got some good questions today. On eBay, every find has a story. Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea. Not just a tea. The band tea. From the last show your favorite band ever played.

You wore it everywhere. Then, your BFF started glaring it, which is cute until they unfriended you and took it with them, which was not so cute. Anyway, now you're on eBay. And there it is, same T from the same tour. Still living in your memory, rent-free forever. See? The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you.

But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your ex-BFF stole back. It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught, then heroically gave to the kid next to you. And where else are you going to find your first car? The one you wish you'd never sold, but now, you finally get the chance to take back home. For good this time. Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story.

eBay, things people love. Hey, it's Howie Mandel, and I am inviting you to witness history as me and my Howie Do It Gaming Team take on Gilly to King and Wallow 267's Million Dollars Gaming in an epic Global Gaming League video game showdown. Four rounds, multiple games, one winner. Plus a halftime performance by multi-platinam artist

Travis Travis. Travis McCoy. Watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the championship match against Neo. Right now at global gaming league.com. That's global gaming league.com. Everybody games.

Okay. They don't give a shit. That's a great. That's crazy. I was looking for a question. I just caught up. That's insane. That is insane coins everywhere.

Yeah. Makes the sonic fucking rings. It's like it's like when Mario gets hit and a burst out of him. It's like, do they burst out of Mario? Who? What are you talking about? No. No, only Sonic they burst the coins burst out of it.

No, the coins burst out of Mario. Which one? I think, right? They never burst out of Mario. Coings books out of boxes. No. But when you get hit, you don't go on. I think you just like, I think you just shrink.

Like you just revert. No, yeah, yeah. You go from the same three to two. I thought like in the three to two. You go from two and say grade one as I'm saying grade three. I thought in the three games you did lose the. In Sonic you do. Maybe there's some.

I'm totally misremembering then. Maybe there's some iterations of it. Maybe in 64 you might lose. That's what I remember it. No, because you just go, oh. You have health in 64. Yeah. I think you just flashed, don't you?

Yeah. It's been so long. Yeah. This is kind of embarrassing. I'm calling ourselves gamers. We don't even remember a Mario mechanics. Mario mechanics. Mario going on. In my defense.

I don't buy Mario 64 with DS. I think that was you that said that. Yeah. The DS one? Yeah. I saw it. Yeah. I saw it like 3DS somehow.

Do not play it on a regular DS. Oh, no, I have a 3D. Well, what's wrong with the three? The day. What you call? Oh, the stick. Yeah. I'm so used to playing old games with the like the D-pad is like.

That shit hurts my fingers now. Now I can see it being a problem. It's the old ones are weird That they don't have the little The little parts in the diagonal space To make it smoother for like Oh really? They don't? Old ones just had like it was just

You know Just the cross And they didn't have like the So it made it really The only one that had like the button Dpad Lily Lily has a DS at home And I pick it up and it looks so insane I feel like it's smaller than this

Now Before it opens That looks probably about the same It's definitely thicker The chunk here And I was like Dude, it's so insane using one of those things now Because my nephew's like, this is small

And I'm like, Jesus Christ I was gonna say in my defense of forgetting Mario Like I just didn't spend a lot of time Really? I didn't play Mario like that? I mean, I played the shit out of the like the original And like, because we had an NES So I played the shit out of the first Mario and then Mario 3 And Super Mario World on the on the advance

But like I didn't really like I didn't have a GameCube really That game franchise got me through many hours of just boredom I fucking shout out to Mario man Yeah, I'm sure you'll appreciate that Yeah. He may not be real, but he's real in my heart, you know. He listens to him. Thank you so much.

Thank you. No money. No money. No money, no discount. No nothing. No, walk around my store too long as you. You scare me. Beal the wall.

Mario for Trump is crazy, dude. He's for Trump, but like not even, he's not for Trump, but everything he wants just happens to be. Like, he wants to build a wall between the. United States and Mexico because he likes jumping over walls. That's crazy. That's all. Yeah. It just

happens. He is. He's anti immigration because of the fact he wants to fireflies for himself. Because he knows they're dead in his other people's hands. Right. He's like, I have to keep because if I let people take him, they go and do bad things, you know? Wahoo. I'm kind of like a super

like a politic version of Super Mario World. Mm. Where like you just replace everybody with just like, you know, fucking sprites of whomever, like Bernie Sanders, Super Sanders World or something shit. Who would be Bowser? Bowser? It'd have to be

like, it would have to be Trump. The Trump, right? It'd be not Yahoo, but Trump is like the fucking one. That would be the real one. Anyway, we gotta get to flying around in that little thing. Throwing fucking, dude. We gotta get to questions.

Tomorrow is so good. It's so classic. It's great. It's great. So classic. invite Neil deGrasse Tyson on he would actually do it and you and it cuts out that'd be fun

and he said he would actually do it no he wouldn't first of all Neil deGrasse Tyson wouldn't be caught dead around us he's doing a live podcast well he actually went on Adam Friedland's show

before it was completely converted oh like until like it just being a regular interview so but we're not there I think we could do that what like get we could get to that point I think

if we really applied us myself for like a month. If we could really do it. That is the thing. Our viewers would not be happy about it. They'd be like, oh, there's just like,

about it. About getting new one? We're talking about it? No, like, if we talked to, if we turned into like an actual like interview show? Oh, if we implied ourselves.

No, it's just like getting enough clout to like get on his radar, I guess. Yeah. To where they would answer the email at least if we sent him an email. That'd be interesting. I'd love talking to grass size and it'd be really cool.

I actually, I wanted to see StarTalk Live because I used, I used to listen regularly and then I kind of got over it when, Because he just started having a co-hosts, comedians as co-hosts. And it's not as good, unfortunately, for myself. But anyway, he's doing a live one. Fucking $70 ticket. I was like, you can suck my dick down, Neil.

I'm like, Neil. If I was to kill myself right now, what would happen? No, the universe would be indifferent. The universe would be indifferent. That's what Carl Sagan. What if I was to kill every single person in the city right now? Kingston, if Kingston was killed. I wouldn't care.

And neither would the universe. Neither would the universe. Thank you, Carl Sagan. Who's the most important person in the universe? I wonder who was that. Like, the most important human ever born. It is me. It's,

I will be eternal. I think it's me. The guy that made the boat. The guy that made the boat. The guy who made the boat? Yeah, the first person to make a boat. I think he made the steering wheel. Or whatever.

Like, Viking McFew-Swim. Yeah, I'm sure it's fuck-Fucking. Fux-Fiuxon. His name is Kingston, Jameson. Anyway, anyway, anyway. Nigger, you made the boat. This guy's name.

Invite the only guy's not, he would totally do it and cuts out. He wrote in, says, What's Up, Chris Derek? And the monster under children's beds. I'm not, though. No, I mean, I don't think you literally are. I think the kind of thing that they think about, though. I think it's debatable. You got a Sully kind of quality.

I do. You know? I hate it. I hate it, I do. To change your name to Sully. I'm more like a Randall. Sully Jameson. Nah, you're like, is that not random?

Is that his name? You're more like, you're more like, thanks. You're more like whoever was the first person to die from overdose in that universe. Like, where is the original boss that died from overdose? In the Monsters Inc universe? That's crazy. I want to do Monsters Inc. Lord, like, like, deep lor and like going into the politics of the universe.

Oh, yeah. Like that would be like, what drugs, what illicit drugs are monsters taking? I feel like that's so dog shit to do, but also really, really cool thought exercises. It would be fun It would be dumb to see No one would care to see it But it'd be fun to think about I think no one would care

I'd have to be so high to care To get involved in that conversation That's a good right exercise Yeah It's definitely too much work To be done Watch monsters ain't could try to make sense Politically out of that world

Yeah Because it's working backwards That'd be really cool Yeah well anyway Yeah Are there Asian monsters All right He writes in

No certainly though I just wanted to tell you that every time I think about Chris being 5'4 I start violently laughing. He has such a tall person personality, but he's so little. I lost my virginity to a VR chat goth girl who is 5'4,

and now I can't separate them in my mind and it's just so funny. Well, thank you. That is what is, what is such a crazy is a hap- That's a lot going on. He lost. He fucked a girl that's 5-4,

and now he's like, it's Chris Reagan. I think it just puts it into perspective. it was like, oh, that's how tall, that's how he would be in my presence, I guess. I'm just assuming, I'm assuming this person is like really tall. That's the only thing I can do.

But it would be nice for context if you would have said that. I feel like most short people have bigger personalities in general. I feel like that's a thing. Maybe, yeah. That's not the first time I've heard that. I think, I've heard that before. I have heard that. I don't know how true that is because growing up around Mexicans

that are very short on average. they're just regular people I've heard that from women that I've dated I think where I was just like oh you're like a tall person person like I don't know what that means but like thanks I guess but I assume that's a compliment I try to minimize the personality so I don't scare people actually I actively make an effort to not seem as opposing as I am

as I technically and physically yeah I will say it just like I don't even being short isn't that big of a problem the issue really is like finding clothes it's hard for me to find clothes if it I feel like really yeah you'd think I feel like China is like your size I don't even know why you're having trouble I'm not in China

Just go to China Well I mean they make We get everything from there They do but they make like It's it's all sorts of I don't know man It's a whole thing Like people I know that are like not

You definitely cannot I will I promise What are your measurements I don't know yet Just give me the waist I forgot I haven't Nine

Nine Because my pants Nine seven Go ahead go Derek Go please find them My pants is a fucking gnome My pants still.

My pants are specifically like, I think, I think 2929, which is fucking impossible. That's not a good number. It's impossible. That's not a good number. Definitely. You can't find 29. You got to 30 30. The M.

B230. But then you go to 30 and then it's like 30, 34. No, you'll find 30. 30. 30. 30 is too, I can't do 30. 30. 30 is like the bad number to have.

28 28. All right. 20, 20, 20 is impossible. You wearing 20. I have to go, I have to literally like, I'm actually at a point now where like, I'm naked some 29 29 29 I've had the same clothes for so long like pants wise like shirts whatever like you can find all sorts of shit you ever think about just buying one size up and then just tapering them I refuse to spend money to get less of the of the article of clothing that I got it is really

annoying doing that it is really annoying well yeah you would prefer not I have to go I have to basically like and I haven't really done this yet but I'm considering it now like where I've had the same pants for like a very very long time and it's starting to be like okay like now there's holes in places where like I can't really wear this. Like it's like right in the crotch and it's just like, damn, these are most real. I think these are my last remaining pair of like pants that are like sound that I can wear like that don't have holes in them. Most

the time I'm like I'm sure nobody will notice. It is wig it when your whole crotch exposed like I'm not going to open my legs today. Well it's like at the, it's like under so it's at the bottom. It's you get a nice breeze kind of. I've done it man. Yeah. Well, I saw my balls on accident. I remember it said this.

Did I see your balls? So I'm starting to think like, okay, I think I'm going to go like these like specialty stores like almost like the reverse big and tall shops yeah because like that's you know small and gay small and gay small and gay i gotta go to the small and gay shop to get my clothes i really do have to do it though because like i'm i don't like buying clothes because they feel kind of unnecessary because like i feel like as long as i've got something on it's like it's like almost like buying a new wallet where it's like i can carry money right i understand it's our anniversary coming up we got to i have to get a new wallet finally and it's like dang dude my wallet's

what do you mean you have to get a new wallet what do you think of these on ebay every find has a story, like if you're looking for a vintage band tea, not just a tea, the band tea, from the last show your favorite band ever played. You wore it everywhere. Then, your BFF started glaring it, which is cute, until they unfriended you and took it with them, which was not so cute. Anyway, now you're on eBay, and there it is, same tea from the same tour, still living in your memory, rent-free forever. See? The thing you're on eBay. you love have a way of finding their way back to you. But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your ex-BFF stole back. It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught, then heroically

gave to the kid next to you. And where else are you going to find your first car? The one you wish you'd never sold, but now, you finally get the chance to take back home for good this time. Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story. eBay, things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said $20 billion.

$20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.

That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.

Visit for thepeople.com for an office near you. What the fuck is that? They're fucking jeans. What do you mean? What is that? What do you mean? What is that? So these are 2929s. Look at my wallet.

Where from? They're from fuck you. They're from fuck you store. It's from teamu. org. Yeah, so it's, oh, interesting. This is, this is, I didn't know Amazon carried their own jeans. Yeah, they have the essentials.

I didn't know. Yeah, I didn't know that. So here's the thing about those is like, I've tried things like this where it's online. I got to do it in person because I'll get pants. You can, you can order. close from Amazon and try it on and send it back it doesn't fit. Yeah. Then I got to do that. I got to send it back now. Yeah, he doesn't want to do that. It's not that.

You just go to fucking. Damn, people like them. What the fuck? I got to go. I got to go do it. It's like, it's not worth it. Chris, it's really not that hard. Dude, being an adult is not that hard. Can you know, I tell you something? I've never, I've never returned anything from Amazon because the process to me seems really irritating. Oh, you have to, it's really so

simple. I usually just like, if I get something that that like doesn't work for me from Amazon, I usually donate it. Give it to somebody or resell it. What's the name of the store they have? We can go anywhere It's smart final Or what is it There's literally a store

You don't have to box up or anything You buy it There's a lot of them You can go to there's There's a lot There's Michael's If I had a car It's there

But there's a Kingsen Kingsen Kingsen Kingston Kingsen No I know I'm sorry If I have

The grocery store My apologies I'm trying to remember This is driving me crazy It's the same thing Whole Foods Whole Foods Whole Foods

There go It's the same thing You just go to Whole Foods You just go to Whole Foods You buy a grocery You're return to shit It's like that simple Right

If I had my car I would maybe consider it I'm not gonna walk I actually have 40 minutes or like spend 10 20 30 30 dollars to Uber like back and forth to return something that I would end up spending more money to return the thing

than I you know what I mean? You're not having a car makes perfect sense like well you don't want to deal with it I'm just not gonna do it yeah so like I live right up the street from like an actual Amazon store I've never had I've never been in one until I moved They're interesting It is interesting and like weird

I don't know why I did this? I was like, why did I sell my, I signed up for the biometric scan thing? And I was like, why did I do that? That is a crazy thing to do. And I was like, I was like, I feel like I was just so jaded that I'm like, everybody has everything on me already. So it doesn't matter. That's kind of how I feel about it. I would never do that. I'm like, I understand why. What don't you know about me really? I've already, and the thing is, I've, I've, I've actually been, uh, my, the system has my fingerprints because, uh, when I, you did federal work ever? No, no, no. Well, actually, yes, it was, it is federal. I was, I was, I

I forgot that being a... You're cooked. No, I wasn't TSA. I was the baggage upload or offloader people and you had to go through U.S. customs. You're getting a bagged. Dude, you had to answer questions literally twice on two different seconds.

So forms, are you a terrorist? You had to, like... Imagine you go yes? What do they do? The idea of like... Domestic, parenthesis, you fill it out? We have to... The idea that they even ask that is so fucking stupid

because it's like, all right, bro, what terrorist is going to be like, yes. Yes, I can't wait to blow up this plane. And they're like, oh, well, you know, you seem trustworthy. This describes me perfectly. I'm a terrorist in a bed. I had to say, no, I'm not a terrorist. And I was like, I hate this country.

It's funny. I wonder if they catch anybody. If somebody's like, oh, shit. I forgot to lie. I was on autopilot. I'm sunny. I was thinking about Charlie X.E. and I forgot

The party for you, the party for you, party for you. He's listening to Pop heaven. H-O-T-T-O-D-O-G-O- Oh no! He clicked forward on the page right. Oh, no, they all my information. I was listening to Sypathy as a knife and I just told the truth.

I just told the truth that I'm done. He blows himself up on the spot because he's like, I'm cooked already. He's like fucking the bomb. bomb. I might go, anyway, after this, I might go to just like a, one of those small and gay shops. Oh, that's good.

Oh, yeah, let's move forward because I got to, I know you were later, later than piss. I have to, speak on a dropping shut off. I have to. When's the post office close? I go to the post office. So the post office is usually closing around five-ish. I got to make sure I go out of, because it takes me an hour and a half to get home. Oh, yeah.

It's a same of time. Did you drive? Fuck, no. Oh, okay. It takes, it takes amount the same time to drive or the train. But I'd prefer the train. All right. That's the thing.

I don't want to kill myself while I'm stuck in gridlock traffic. You don't want to kill yourself? Well, I do. You don't have to learn. When I'm in traffic, I want to kill myself. You don't go up to a tall building and feel like, you know. Anyway, let's get you know. In that longing.

They sunk the city with a giant worms with giant worms road in. He says in episode 133, and eternity ago, by the way. Chris said he heard of someone accidentally pulling an exposed nerve like a hair. And Kingston said it had to be fake. But in later episodes, King. and said the exact same thing happened to someone he knew. The fuck? No, yeah.

On eBay, every find has a story. Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea. Not just a tea. The band tea. From the last show your favorite band ever played. You wore it everywhere. Then your BFF started glaring it, which is cute until they unfriended you and took it with them.

Which was not so cute. Anyway, now you're on eBay. And there it is. Same tea from the same. Same tour. Still living in your memory, rent-free forever. See? The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you. But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your ex-BFF stole back. It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught, then heroically gave to the kid next to you. And where else are you going to find your first car? The one you wish you'd never sold, but now,

you finally get the chance to take back home. For good this time. Shop eBay for millions of fines. each with a story. eBay, things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number.

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law,

thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. I remember one of my female friends. She said that she was, what to go. She was like taking a shower. And said she saw, she thought she had like a hair on her tit. She was like, I don't have one solid hair on my tit.

So she tried to yank it. Threw up all over her fucking bad. So this is something that happened after that, I guess? Yeah. All right. I heard about it afterwards. And I was like, watch was like, yeah, it was horrible. It is a real thing.

Is it a real thing? It is. happen, yeah. I don't know how often, but they happen. I think we looked it up on the podcast and they were like, shut the fuck up. No, exposed nerves are real. I know that can happen. Yeah, I just don't know the context or how they look. You do that can happen other than hearsay? Okay. That's what I mean. I'm like, like, I can't say, like, come on. Let me ask Google's AI. That's probably going to get wrong. Like, I feel like we're repeating. We've done this already. But please do it again. Please do it again. Please do it again. Let's do it again. Why not? Rehael. It's, uh, greatest hits.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it? Start Tank, the essentials. I like it. That would be an awesome experiment. Like, get, what is it? We'll take like a, almost like a, like a JCPenny photo of all of us. You know, and like the, like a family or something. And then we'll like put it black and white, have the essentials album. And it's just like a bunch of the same conversations over and over.

That's cool shit. It's a funny idea. Where what's called decay cracks and trauma. Oh, in teeth. Structures likely. But they said it's also exposed on your skin. Is possible? Yeah, on your shit.

All right. I mean, I believe it. I've never happened. I don't know why they, I don't, like, I don't know why I would not. Stranger, in my opinion, stranger things are true. So, like, fine. Sure. Stranger things have happened.

Shut up. Do do do do do do do do. I don't. That's a theme song. Do do do do do do do do do do do do. What did Dustin do? Do you get, his penis was exposed? He just hangs out black people.

Now that's Dustin Diamond. Oh. Now that one just hangs out with the black kid all the time. And he's like, I like it here. Rip. Jerry Kensington. Jerry Kensington. Jerry,

Jerry Kensington, the white woman and Izzy Crossbow wrote. And he says, I don't understand Chris's apprehension. I don't know if this is the right word. Chris is apprehension with Sweeney knowing all sorts of foreigners. I went to public school in the city. And I met all sorts of people, especially when I got into high school. There was a Palestinian kid and Israeli kid who used to get into arguments a lot. About what?

Just baseball. It sounds like. Just baseball. Keep going. I want to hear the rest of this. Sounds kind of... I met a Somali kid, a kid from Russia. I was given a ride home

by the son of a Middle Eastern oil tycoon who most definitely had blown on his hands. I met Syrian refugees. My first best friend in elementary school was from China. Point is we had a lot of foreign exchange students. Foreign exchange students is, I guess, a different thing. It's not even...

It's not apprehension. It's just like, it's always sweetly talking about how he knows these droves of like hyper-specific corners. I don't know droves, but I've met a lot of ethnic freaking nationalities of people. people. Sure. But it's like these are like very like um Uzbekistanis. I don't know what that is.

You know what that is now. But in, in a year, you'll tell me how like you grew up with Uzbekistanis. I grew up around. So when I lived in New York City, obviously New York City is predominantly gay. Gay. Gay. Where I lived, it was it was very much so a lot of Caribbean. So Puerto Ricans, Jamaicans, Cubans, Dominicans and all the stuff. I lived that. But then you see they got a hiccum from lying? That's crazy. That's how that works. Can you imagine? Sorry.

Sorry. Back at it. But then there's a lot of Italians and Irish is New York, obviously. Yeah. And then you meet Asian people. There's Asian people are also another common group of people. I understand that Asians exist. I'm just,

that's insane. But then as I grew open, I moved up to where I lived in upstate New York. Where I lived, there was a lot of Asian people, like an insane amount of Asian people, particularly where I lived. Sure, buddy. There was an insane amount of them. Sure, but. Sure, bud. I know you lived in an Indian, kind of...

Indian and Asian, a lot of, like a lot of them. Well, that's the same thing, technically. That's true. Yeah. They consider themselves different, but it's, it's, you know, yes. Yeah. Yes. It's rare when I hear an Indian person call themselves like an Asian.

It's very rare. Do you think that's more common now, though? I think, I don't know what I mean? Well, does there be a better graces? No, just because like the... I imagine Asian. Because Indian has like a racist. There's such a bad connotation because of the online space, you know?

I wonder if they like embrace Asian. I don't know how real it is, but I know what you mean. It exists and all. I don't know if it's not. It's not. I honestly think it's, I honestly think it's mega real specifically because of JD-Amance. It's unfortunately very real.

Dude, I was a, I went, a random, uh, random, uh, raid content creator popped up on my feet. It was an Indian gentleman.

Would you say instantly? No, I said, no, here's the thing. He had an, he had an, on the screen on, off rip.

That's crazy. I know. See, I didn't do that, but someone in the comments section. legitimately this guy had like a really cool thing like a trick and I was like oh that was cool I went to the comment section and the first comment says I'm sorry all I can hear is do not redeem

that's so fucking crazy what the fuck this guy didn't even do anything it's so mean scared at this world man I was like this guy's all wholesome just like sharing some cool shit I grew up a lot of Indian people why did you do it when I figured out how much like diversity is just in India is crazy. I was like draw, drop to how many languages that place this has by itself.

Like, I knew about Homo Telugu, I knew about, what you call? They speak English. They speak Punjab. They speak Punjab. They speak Punjabi. They speak wrong. They speak wrong. Like there's so much.

And the thing is crazy is that there was a two degrees. I saw it sort of like the diaspora, not the same degree, but how there was so many different varieties of Indian person. that they didn't need, none of them spoke the same language for the most part. They all, I sort of knew Hindi. I don't really believe you. Oh, okay. Yeah, me too.

But they were all like, oh, we are Indian ultimately at the end of the day. So they were all like really cool each other. But at first when they first made, they did not like me very much. At least the parents. They were like, you can't come over. They would let the other ones in it, like, yeah, but you can't, you can't hang out. Yeah, that's all. And then as I got older than they knew me for years.

Yeah, and they finally started to trust you. They were like, oh, no, Kingsers is a good kid. Oh, you're not a scary nigger. This isn't Christopher Wallace. I was actually, I thought for the longest time I was like, oh, he's back. He's back. He's back.

They would call me beta eventually. Like, they were like very much so like I, like I wouldn't, um, when I be real. I thought Christopher Wallace was the kid from fucking, um, from fucking, um, for like a for like a salad little while there. You know, fucking, you ever hear like him saying that? Like he would be in trouble and you would yell Christopher Robin. Yeah. Like in that way.

Yeah. I love poo bear, but that thing is a lot to deal with. I love poo bear. He's a, he's got BPD or something. I would have shot him. I don't know about BPD. I don't know about BPD, but he's definitely... He flips on a dime, man.

Like, he's like... To what? To hungry? Yeah. Yes, he cares about you or he's hungry. It's never both at the same time. I think it is both, but I think... No, he's so selfish.

He's selfish as fuck when he's hungry. Yeah. You know? I think he doesn't put people in harm. He's kind of like, I'm just gonna go find food. He doesn't put people in harm, but if people are in harm, he doesn't care that they're in harm. I'm sorry, Christopher Robert. I'm sorry, Christopher Robert.

I would have warned you about the truck, but this honey is so good. You're... You're flat. Your pelvis is dust because a semi hit you. He's like, please call the ambulance. I'm sorry, this honey's just so good. I dropped the phone at the bottom of the honey.

I have to eat all the honey to call the police. That's such an adorable little thing, but also you're dying. Yeah, you're dying and you're like, oh, that's adorable. You're throwing blood up. You're throwing blood up like the black infected guy in 28 days later that they keep in the courtyard.

Oh, yeah, I don't want it. is just violently thrown up. The fact that they let, like I don't, letting those, I just don't, people make me so mad because I'm like,

why would you let? I would shoot that in the face. No, it makes, it makes sense in the context of the movie. It does, I don't think it does. It does,

because they're trying to, it doesn't make sense because they're bad people doing bad things to innocent people, so they're giving other people a reason to fuck with them. Yeah.

But like, like, I would knock it unconscious. I'm trying to find out like how long does it take for them to starve to death is a valid. I would knock it

on conscience and I would never let it, just be out. Well, it is kind of in a cage. It's in like a walled off courtyard. That's kind of a thing. Yeah, until it gets out clearly. So it literally gets out and kills her. But it gets out because somebody

retaliated because they were fucking with him. Like for me, like there's this movie I saw. Killion Murphy and is fucking emaciated ass. There's, this movie I recently saw with, it's, uh, with Daisy Ridley.

And it's, uh, it's about, uh, it's called, We bury our dead. I don't care. And it's like an Ozzie movie. Let me explain this, right? The rise of,

The rise of, The rise of dead walker. No. In this movie, right, there's They fly now. There's a... It's like a dead body like flying. But like in this movie there's a it's a pretty man movie but it's about

Some of the zombies there's off the coast of Tasmania. America has some sort of fuck up in a nuclear facility and people die, but people die. Then some of them start getting back up but they get up and some of them are really violent. But most of them, if they have previous actions they were trying to accomplish, they tend to get up. What happened is a lot of them that get up are not violent at all. They're just up and they're like doing whatever they're doing. No, this is interesting, right? Oh my God. You guys are just fucking, but what happens is in this movie, a lot of them aren't violent, but they just get up and they're kind of just like, you know, they have some sort of like shit going on in their

brain, but it's not like where is what is what is. But what happens is for me, I would never get a chance to see if they were just like creatures trying to exist because I would kill them so rapidly. Yeah. I mean, I would too. You have, look, if you have to, that's the, the rules of the zombie universe is kind of annoying because it's like, as if nobody has any understanding what zombies are. Oh, yeah, always. So that's kind of the thing where they act ignorant in that way because, which I hate, but you have to suspend that disbelief, right?

It wouldn't be, it wouldn't be a problem. And it's like, oh, no one's ever thought of fucking zombies before. And like, in a, in a, in a story. And all of them, there is no Haiti. There's no. So the zombie never became a thing. What do you say? Oh, yeah.

So it's just never, there's no voodoo or who, that's, that's never happened. So there's no Haitians. So it's just a Dominican Republic. That's a big ass Dominican Republic. Effectively a much better country changing so much. How did slaves get freed if there's no Haiti? This is a lot. There's real lore here.

There's Lord of Build here. And I'm going to move on. I'm going to move on. I'm going to move on. He's cooking right now. He's cooking. You see steam and goop falling out of my ear. On eBay, every find.

as a story, like if you're looking for a vintage band tea, not just a tea, the band tea, from the last show your favorite band ever played. You wore it everywhere. Then, your BFF started glaring it, which is cute until they unfriended you and took it with them, which was not so cute. Anyway, now you're on eBay. And there it is, same tea from the same tour. Still living in your memory, rent-free forever. See? The things you're on eBay. love have a way of finding their way back to you. But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your ex-BFF stole back. It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught, then heroically gave to the kid next to you. And where else are you going to find your first car? The one you wish

you never sold, but now, you finally get the chance to take back home for good this time. Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story. eBay, things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan.

I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.

And each year we get bigger. and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got to an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. All right.

The Starlet Bandit Road and he says, Hey, yo, I hear y'all talk highly about the Mega Man X games. What do you all think about the Mega Man Zero games? I only play it up to three, but I remember them fondly anyways. Have a good one. I don't know anything about Mega Man Zero. Hot take. Hot take.

Yeah, you like them better? Mega Man Zero, two, and three are better than any Mega Man X game in my opinion. Really? They're different games, but wait. Well, I genuinely don't know anything about Mega X but better. It's just Mega X but better. It's just Mega Man X basically. You play a type of game.

Effectively the same thing. I think, uh, it's a lot. The Game Boy Advance games. I think, in my opinion, first of all, no. I've played them. They don't, they're not as satisfactory.

In my opinion, this is, you know, if you like them, I don't care, it's fine. I think the biggest thing for me, try playing,

this is just me, though, if you play a Mega Man game, Mega Man X specifically without mute it and listen to a podcast or something, it's not going to be as riveting.

I feel like the soundtrack is so, a part of it. I can agree the sound track is probably good. I just don't think that there's especially X2 through 3 and we already talked about X versus 0 and X5 but like I think the soundtracks are so good especially in X, Mega Man X, the first one. Every track is there's no mid

in the in the soundtrack is better. I can agree with that. And the thing, that's the one thing for me that completes the experience in the same way like I tried playing say Streets of Rage 3 many times over and the soundtrack sucks compared to two.

It just doesn't even, it's so boring to me. Four is a lot better. It's a lot better in every way, shape or form, but it's not better than two. Two is a complete package. And I feel like if the music was different, I would be like, get this fucking garbage out of here. I don't care.

And the game, you know, some people might completely disagree with me with that because maybe they do mute it and they listen to something else while they're playing. That's fine, but there's certain games that I can't do that too. I think I can't I just I don't know I feel like not listening to the music Of a game is not a

That's a modern video gamers thing I feel like for us we didn't have like Our computer are playing all at the same time So we were listening to the music of the game We also didn't really have an option Like options menus were pretty limited Well I'm um We could mute

Maybe you could but you wouldn't even think to do it Exactly you know I wouldn't There isn't that many like when I think about games Like say high school and up a lot of games that I really enjoyed. There wasn't that many games where I'm like, I need to hear, I can't, I can't mute this. Like say, I love the Gears of War franchise,

but I don't need to. The me, I'm more like hearing the sound effects of things happening, heads exploded. I think that era is when people started doing that. Like the era where there was like game chats. There was stuff going on you were hearing other than a game. But like for Halo, like Halo, I can't imagine that game without his music because when I played Halo 2 and 3, particularly I was playing the game with the music.

You know? Even then, like I listen to music when I played most games. I can't, I can't really do that anymore. Like, I can do when I'm playing a game that's like about my skill, but not about an experience. I can do it as long as I've experienced the experience already. Like I play through all the gears shows. I don't need to hear like, you know, everything about it again. Like if I'm playing like cod, I can play cod without having the sound on, you know.

Yeah. That's even not sound, but like the music on. But you're missing the Hans Zimmer, the, the, bullshit the gay little the garbage Hans Zimmer music The funny thing that you even say that

is like Cod 2 is the model 4 2 is the only one that I really like say there's the I think it's the second mission the snowmobile mission you you stealthily sneak in

and then you escape on a snowmobile The fucking track when that is playing is like it almost makes me sweat it's so intense it's so ridiculous you're on a fucking yeah definitely

everything to you is a dude Dude, I learned how to do the fucking The treble thing for the throat dance singers Because some guy on his fucking Instagram Was to be able to do it And I did it all night And literally was like shut the fuck up

Shut the fuck up Stop doing this You were just throat singing All day and all right I learned how to do the very basics Of making your throat Make like the reverse sound Do it right now

I don't know how to do it It's on a video I learned a very basic of it And I did it all night What a fucking line Just do what you did last night I look it up right now No no no

Don't watch a fucking No, no, it's too late. Too late now. Let's do one more, and then we got to get out of here, man. All right. I got to see. I got a. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a good question.

All right, go to that. Yeah, Professor Malcolm X versus Magneto Luther King debate. That's insane. Professor Malcolm X versus Magneto Luther King. Magneto Luther King is a great. That's a good one. I like that a lot. This is so stupid.

I have a dream. Very cool. Magnets I like Biggest food opinion flip I vividly remember Only eating the frosting off of cupcakes And throwing the cake part away

As a young piece of shit Now frosting is the number one thing I hate most about any cake That it's a part of Stay rowdy Interesting It's a good question actually To me it feels

Oh about it I just want to comment To his thing Yeah yeah I think it depends on This is for me actually I can't even speak to everyone I think chocolate cake is very dense and boring to me.

And I like the light fluffiness of like white cake. And the frosting that they're using that, I'm good. But I feel like on chocolate, I'm so burnt out of that shit. So it was crazy. I don't eat cake anymore. I haven't, I mean, I can't remember the last. You're an adult. Like, I can't remember the last time I'm eating cake.

I can't remember the last time I did not. You didn't get fat off of cake. Did you? No, I got fat off. I don't know. I don't know if I'm a methamphetamine. That's not what it's, you're, you, I don't know. How you did that, but that is...

Consuming so much meth that you get fat is crazy. That's sick as fuck. I wring my arm, I mess. Falls on my arm. They got to study you, dude. They're going to study you. We're going to put you in a lab. We're going to use you forever.

You're going to live forever. Yeah. For me, it was pizza. I remember being like a little, little kid. Pizza used to weird me out. I didn't like pizza when I was going to do. Oh, interesting. Yeah, because like, yeah, I don't know.

There was something. I think it's because you're a kid and you're stupid. So, like, you're looking at it and you get it. And, you know, you open the box. and it just, I remember thinking vividly that like this looks like skin. Like it looks kind of, like, like, like, melted.

I wasn't used to seeing like a huge swat of like melted cheese. That is so interesting. So like it looked kind of like, it looked like skin. I don't remember if it smelled good to me. Like, I think it might have. Fucking New Yorker. Kid children of New York. My grandmother would bring back.

Yeah. Well, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, it's not that I didn't like it. I just, like, it weirded me out too much to eat it. And then I think I had it maybe accidentally or something. I don't remember what the content. I felt the same concept for me. But I had it. It was like the only thing that we had and I ate it and I was like, oh, this is fucking what I'm stupid.

I'm such an idiot. I remember my grandma would always. So whenever it would be around the time of her to get a retirement check, we would, she would always go somewhere down by where Yankee Stadium was. If anyone from the Bronx, remember is this from fucking almost 30 years ago. But she would go down to Bronx. There would always be this place. She would get her pizza pies from it.

And have like the fucking super thin fucking twine red and white strings. She'd bring it back every time she came home. Oh, I miss those. I remember. She brings it back every time and she would bring back pizza and I would not like it. Then I remember there's one time. I don't know what happened. Whoa.

She, uh, she, she fucking brought it back and I ate it and I was like, I cannot believe I didn't like this. And I was hooked. Granted, I liked pizza.

Oh, I liked it when I had it. It's still not my favorite. It's still, it was not my favorite thing ever because I just enjoyed like beef patties and cocoa bread so much more. But obviously I'm a fucking coconut. Of course I'm going to enjoy that more. Sure.

But like, I remember being like, holy shit. I remember when I moved up state, pizza wasn't. technically better, but the exposure to pizza I had was better. Whereas, like, me and my friends would just go get a slice them somewhere. Yeah.

And I remember that being like, but I didn't like pizza very much at all when I was younger. I didn't like pizza very much. I didn't like, um, I didn't like popcorn either. I hated popcorn when I was younger. That's interesting. The pizza one's interesting to me is just because like if you ever go to like a buffet or something, the kid's menu always has pizza. It's like the, it's usually like the go-to thing for kids.

So like hearing that, I'm like, oh shit. I didn't know. Yeah, I was more of like a chicken. Like chicken tender's kind of kid at that point. I was weirded out by shrimp, but I think like. Shrimp I'm still kind of weirded out by it to be honest. I don't eat it, but like I'm not. I'm not thrilled about eating it.

No seafood this way. It still looks literally weird to me. But my mom, she, so I would, I used to just, my mom would make curry shrimp. And so just have curry shrimp and rice. And I was a kid, I was like, get that fucking shrimp away from me. So I would just have curry rice. That's so good. Dude, shout out rice in general, bro.

God damn, man. Rice is right. Rice will also appreciate this. We didn't make dinner last night, but we're making dinner today and we're making fried rice. We're making fried rice with spam and we're watching Karagi. Oh yeah, yeah. I don't eat spam, dude. The fuck.

Spams are good. I like spam, but don't eat it. No, with which we, I don't, it's not often. It's supposed to be a Hawaiian dish. I'd like you immediately clog your arteries. The amount of sodium and fat and spam is crazy. I eat spam and then I immediately bust out fucking cubes of things. What are we trying to say?

I have to prepare my... Like Minecraft. I bought a can of spam and I was... Every time I'm like, I can't... Not yet. You got to dole it out for like the... You got to portion it for the year. I have to prepare myself, dude.

I really have to prepare myself because just my age now and I'm like, oh, I got to start taking care of myself a little bit more. Yeah. I clog my arteries and shit. And I'm like, I read the package. I'm like, fuck. Are you also bewildered by the way like certain people prepare things that you feel like universally are just better a certain way?

Like, spam to me is like, it's best. it's like thin. It has to be thin because then it can't get crispy. Exactly. Like I don't like it. Like I've had people like make like it's like a little bit Spam burgers.

It's not like chunks but it's like thicker and I'm like the fuck are you doing. I've been honest. I only I only eat. That's crazy. It's fucking barbaric. It's disgusting. It's fucking crazy.

I think you even see it on like the fucking picture where I'm like what the full? Like it's a fucking burger of spam. What is eating that? That's crazy. You're sweating after you're getting crispy. For me I cube it. Like if I mean spam now.

You tube it because I don't eat spam. I don't eat spam anymore, really. I don't eat spam in this one particular. Yeah, I can't remember the last time. You make it kind of like a pokey thing almost. Sort of like that. Yeah, we cube and we fry it with the rice. Okay.

Yeah, that's all, but the thin slices, they're nice and crispy. And this is the one time, you know, I said I don't usually like mixing a lot of savory and sweet. If you just put a little coating of ketchup on it, it's crazy. No, I don't know. I'm not a ketchup person at all. I'm not either. Yeah, me neither. That's what I say.

Like, I don't sweet because you put. That sounds like me with the fucking cheese curds and caramel, man. That blew my mind. It's rare when I like ketchup is one of those You put it on there It really enhances the flavor It's crazy I don't know it just does it

Were you there with us What? At Buffalo Owings when we did that With fucking young air It was fucking crazy We just hung out young air Randomly one night No so funny

He was like you guys are dope He's a voice actor He's a voice actor now But he used to do YouTube I think he still does Yeah I think he's primarily A voice actor I think he's dead now

Yeah he might be Also yeah that's true I don't know He was like you guys are like Random shit And I was like yeah What Because we were just hanging out

because you were playing fucking smash at like 4 a.m. Hang it out of y'all. We went to Bdubs, right? Because it was late. Yeah, anyway. Well, all right,

let's get the fuck out of here. I got, 26 minutes. All right. I mean, it's got a power through it. All right. We're going to read the names of our $25 and up patrons.

Can make it. Well, we can't if we don't do fucking soliloquies after every goddamn me. I was going to be quiet. Be quiet. Say nothing. Say nothing. I want to say nothing.

That's crazy. It's already. We're ready. not doing well. Remember you go to Patreon.com slash a snart tank. You can get your name right at the end of the show. $25. Crazy.

But, you know, people like it. Make me read your names. I'm going to start off. Count me down. Three, two, one. Sweene paying $80 to look like that is insane. Is this a haircut? I should be looking crisp when I get it cut.

Shut up. All right. Christy Nome and Laura Lumer are fugly sluts. Heard they make out with hot dogs. God damn. A different sad guy from Michigan. Louis Armstrong singing, We are Charlie Kirk under genuine duress.

I love that. Please congratulate my friend Walden, 2025 Floaty. Femboy Lover of the Year Award. Congrats, but Jackson, I do. Congrats. Mr. Maddie plays entering a room full of black veterans shouting salutations, my N-words.

Tuliki. Cold Brew King. Dying Light was the best Xbox One game. Suck Me. Alpha V. or Alpha 5 The gayest Bronco fan in history of being gay Spunk Cock Fallacy

Uh Oh my God There once was a man from Calcutta Who suffered a terrible stutter For breakfast he said I'll have bubba bread and bubba bubba butter That's pretty good actually I like that one

That's cute That's cute That's like kind of like Very good Nice It doesn't end with like a hustler. It's not a, yeah, like I appreciate. I appreciate it.

I was expecting a harder at the end that didn't rhyme at all. On eBay, every find has a story. Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea. Not just a tea. The band tea. From the last show your favorite band ever played. You wore it everywhere. Then your BFF started glaring it.

Which is cute until they unfriended you and took it with them. Which was not so cute. Anyway, now you're on eBay. And there it is, same tea from the same tour. Still living in your memory, rent-free, forever. See? The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you. But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your XBFF stole back. It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught,

then heroically gave to the kid next to you. And where else are you going to find your first car? The one you wish you'd never sold, but now, you finally get the chance to take back home for good this time. Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story. eBay, things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said $20 billion.

$1.20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan, from Morgan and Morgan. America's Large Injury Law from, thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. Anyway, moving on from that, AI Kobe becoming a pretzel and blowing out the backboard.

Big Chrissy, Malik, there they go fucking vacuuming again. At this time? What could you possibly be, they're murdering people up there, man. They're slaughtering camels or something. I don't know. I don't know what they could possibly be doing. Malik Berry, take me down to Paradise City where the grass is green. and green and my wife hasn't left me

please I just want her home that's good not fake new president I's a woman gov even AOL I'm not even gonna get into it Up the Rha Gay Boy Farty installing a toilet on the ceiling because I can

It's just raining constantly It's insane You have a bucket to collect it or maybe it's going into another toilet Hopefully Fucking perpetual So you can kind of shower while you're Shitting

You stand in between both of them And you're just fucking getting rain on It's like a reverse It's like a horrible bidet Where instead of jettison Jetising water up your ass It's like drizzling it on your head I'm getting a bidet tomorrow actually

Are you doing the same thing with a dog like you said? Well I'm getting a dog next month actually Okay sure We'll see We'll see It's the same like your glasses. When he comes... He's gonna have a dog.

I'm having my optical appointment. What's your call it? Thursday. How many times does he said that? No, no, I'm being dead days. My appointment is Thursday for me get my proper prescription.

All right. See you next week when he doesn't have his glasses. When I have my glasses and I can see, I'm gonna fucking have you both sniped. The dead's insane. Inscalation. Inscalaation. Where did you get your de-escalation training?

Ice? Yeah. What? I slip on? Installing a toy? Oh, okay. The dead spider. God, Siga, parentheses, pictured.

Wait, what is it? Is it like in your thumb? I'm not even going to get into whatever I just saw. Lightly tapping Kingston's head with a wine bottle until his face looks like punched lasagna. Motherfuckers be shitting when they isn't even farting yet. Shaking my head. I'm Captain Lou and I'm talking to you.

Delta Gamma, literally fed this toddler last week. Why is it still crying? Clamule Esquire the 3rd. I'm going to kill the president. with a mortar, played Golden Eye for the first time in 20 years. Holy shit, that game controls, that game's controls are nearly unplayable.

Stealth bombing a great sword on the Kingston's location. Snark Tank's only gay furry listener. Chainsaw Chud, got a leash and a collar for these gay furry good boys. Doing jaw exercises so I can IRL recreate the Goku face when he's getting squeezed.

Count Dankula getting divorced and deciding Nazi stuff is no longer a joke. force that's crazy I haven't kept up with them I don't know either yeah I've kept up with Sue though how she's she doing she seems she seems good

yeah she seems well so that's good hyper I'm so bad at keeping up with anybody super pleasant human being it's crazy how nice she is I like most of the people that I've ever met I just yeah right you can't keep well I wake up and I'm like I forget

I like most people I think I like most people uh four score Horformian and the man of war door galore you're Zerkeri Roli's Yang Yos size yenis rains shifted

the sloker two why so derpy rah rah tom Sweeney lover of galactic pain he was a black that really loved dong

calling people a black is crazy like that to me is always like a dead giveaway no it's different to me yeah I don't I yes

you know but no like yes I understand what you're saying I disagree and at the same time it's like you're a black and it's like, you're a Jew. They're both painful words.

I understand, but like... Like, when somebody you're gay? I think you can calmly call somebody a Jew. I don't think you can calmly call somebody a black. He's a Jew. He's a black. He's a black sounds crazy. I guess I slurred myself.

You can give someone a benefit of the doubt by saying he's a Jew. Right. He's a Jew. Well, a black is like removing human. But if anyone ever says he's a black, it's always weird. Yeah, I'm just like, he's a black. It's like the... You know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I slurmed myself. 9-11 again, but it's just 432 Park Avenue. I don't know what that is. What is house? My old house? Why was 10 afraid? Don't do it.

Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. This is Homo-Ween. This is Homo-Ween. Everybody touched the one. My favorite ex-man is Ted Kaczynski. Felching a hippopotamus after thorough use.

Do me favor look up Felching. Somebody was mad that we didn't look it up. Felching? Yeah. I still don't know what it means. Tankis the Trashman Pegging myself until I achieve enlightenment. Nward Cullen.

Remember? Nward Collin. Domination using the power of AI and V2 me to bring my dead dog back to life. Derek Notchavan is innocent hashtag free. I'm rounded Asian gooning goopy gloves exclusively on company time. Fouching is a sexual act involving licking or sucking semen from a partner's anus often after anal sex. Okay, thanks.

Baby, you got semen in your nose, sniffing that taint. Did you fill my holes? That's so gross. That is really heinous, actually. No, I'm trying to move on out of professionalism. No, Kingston, rendering yourself an unreal engine and shooting an unarmed woman in Minnesota does not make you Marcus Phoenix. I'm under...

Through the car. I'm in danger. That's crazy. She said grind and I had to kill her. Grind. She said, that's okay, dude. I'm not mad of you and I thought I need to kill her. Lott.

Locking. CCP? CCP? He held his phone, switched hands, grabbed his gun. Bam, fucking bitch. I'm like, three. Sorry. I love it.

CCP? Yeah, I think I do. Stupid. That's very cool. Queen of Fats. That is kind of, yeah. Queen of, it's not, but like, yeah, spiritually, I know you're saying. Drew does good jokes.

Damn. Queen of fat hazard, I need laundry machine that beeps. We are Charlie Kirk when it's done drying. You know someone's done that. I saw it. Is that real? Awesome. I got to figure out to do that with my microwave.

Bald, blue-eyed German man asking, would you rather let Wymezwechard dog or let items make career decisions for you? Yes. Who, Jesse under Gats. tagouts. Not going to get into it. I have the pussy, so I make the rule. Snark Tank's honorary leftist, Thugzilla versus the Y guys.

Gt-A-4 swingside glitch, fogs together. Strong guys. I'm sick of Gryphi to the left. I'm going to say the N-word now. Emilio, the chosen Juan, this way up, V. Pissing left and right, never. Chris's dad says, ramen ain't the same without dog meat. Invest in cryptocurrency right now.

Big meaty stinks. Canola Joe resurrected. Android Kingston. Gay actor Rosebud Delicious. Star Wars, but the word Jedi is swapped with the N-word. Amazing. That is so stupid This is actually just Kingston's anonymous account

That he wrote in to donate $25 to himself Star Wars Star Wars is We don't have time Sorry I can't I had a burrito What's a dumber sounding fictional word Chum or scone Scown?

Really? I thought Chum was worse Scum is worse in my opinion Scown sounds really Democratically Chum wins What a scound? I don't know I don't know Heath watching

Heath watching Venezuela from a Japanese Taco Bell Gids Trump's raped child, RFK homunculi. What if we all have sex? Kingston be like, I think what happens is this, right? And is wrong. Cute welder girl at work told me she was Polly and then invited me to a bar.

What do? I don't know. Hatter. Hitter. Striker. Stryker immediately. Stryker is hard as you get. Want to hang out?

Paul the B. What does that mean if she's telling you, Paulie? So what? You guys are going to have sex with like everyone? What does that mean? It means you don't have to worry about fucking... I feel like pilot ships are fucking difficult, man. Yeah, so I'm like, whatever. Yeah. Take a chance, man.

Yeah. You got to fuck her boyfriend. You got to fuck her boyfriend. You got to do it. You got to assert dominance. She has a man, you got to fuck him and don't touch her. You got to walk in while they're fucking one day, and they completely shove her to the side. Shove her to the side.

Go to town and grab him and just do what you need to do. Do not touch her. Do not pleasure at all. If you graze her, like... Oh! immediately go flaccid. You're like, oh, man. Ew, and then shit yourself.

Start fucking a boyfriend. The moment you look at her, you'd be like, ah, you just took me out of this. Yeah, we're out. I'm out. I'm out. Blow your head off. Shit yourself, then kill yourself. Blow, blow a violent nut on him.

Blow your head off. Shit. You won't have a choice after that. You will, you will. Cute. Okay, an unarmed mom is more dangerous than a kid with a gun, I, IG. Sweene is a slightly less blind Clayton Bigsby, E.A. Sports in the sand

just finished dispatch, and now I need the Alana voice demon to crush my head to pace between her thighs. Whoa. Awkward for me to read. Replacing Sween's alufa with several dozen manna war. Oh, yeah.

So insane. Subpar Wario, I'm so sorry, moon dim for the Sega Worksphere. This is for Kingston. Plastic beef is the opposite version of my name. Cardboard pie. Cool. Oh.

I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, never do this again. Department of War, Marcus Phoenix from Pistons of Peace. Be like, they're raising villages with a small bird. That's crazy. That's insane. That's good one. I appreciate that you did do Marcus, Marcus, didn't find some way to fuck with Marcus Phoenix, you know? Oh, yeah, yeah.

But, uh, this is a piece. This is a peace slaps. What if Mario shit himself before a ground pound? On eBay, every find has a story. Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea. Not just a tea. The band tea. From the last show your favorite band ever played.

You wore it everywhere. Then your BFF started glaring it. Which is cute until they unfriended you and took it with them. Which was not so cute. Anyway, now you're on eBay. And there it is. Same tea from the same time. still living in your memory, rent-free forever.

See? The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you. But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your ex-BFF stole back. It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught than heroically gave to the kid next to you. And where else are you going to find your first car? The one you wish you'd never sold, but now, you finally get the chance to take back home for good this time. Shop eBay for millions of fines,

each with a story. eBay, things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan.

I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said $20 billion. One. $20 billion is an insane number.

Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law Firm, thanks for coming by the show.

Thanks for having me. Visit for thepeople.com for an office near you. You see his pants like, you know how his hands get big? Fuller and fuller. And the Gumba's like, what the fuck? The Gumba's like, oh!

All the Gumbas, when you get anywhere near that, their face is immediately sour. Have you seen that animation of the guy writing a Yoshi and he's like, he shat through, his pants and he stands up and there's like, and it's all over and Yoshi's face. Have you seen that? I got, I'll find it. I'll send it to you. You'll fucking lose it.

Mrs. Mrs. Human blows up 100 wells in Africa. Something funny. Evil Krisby like, I don't understand the jury foot thing. And woman, Oz died meets won't daughter glance. I'm not going to get into it. Goond devil, the man without con. Fisk.

I don't know. That's it. No. Like glance is not. Whatever. Chasing cars by Blow Patrol. I'm gay queer. I'm just gay queer.

I'm just gay queer. Won't you lie with me? And just fuck my whole Sweeney's Lib Cuck turd cutter. Um, was he got a poop knife? Nickel G. Germanium,

ruthamium, gallium, Eterium. Derek listened to live and learn. And then, uh, his words, his world zebra head.

We're in the appeal to reason slash end game timeline. I know zebra head. Smitchie the gay. I know Zipharate too. I haven't listened to them a lot. Yeah. The Star Tank is powerfully homoerotic. Fister sisters.

Micar. Rat. by rat rat shit bat shit dirty old twat 69 assholes tide very cool star coffee kid Collins recreating weapons ending on old Colin

defendant throwout from cum equator I'm feeling romantic yush Obama drinking flip Michigan water and sprouting in angels wings that's crazy big dangling penis that's insane big dangling penis my therapist told me to find

fine piece I had to look inward so I bought a du rag and I don't think it's working. Craig the Canadian, dumb or numb. I've been filled with cum up to the brim clenching so tight. It's your boy, Shawnee D. And a man named Diddy? He diddles people. Did Kojima write this? DoorDash

Rapped. At Grock is this true response out Les Boringy. Cursing Sweeney with Vittal ego, but only surrounding his eyes and mouth. That's crazy. Sound like a fucking Mammy? Whatever. You figuratively starve that adult next

month. Why is it no longer Oh my God. We're doing it with other people's names now. Chris's dad eating dead Vietnamese soldier because of the rations hadn't shown up for days and he's not a big fan of rice. In sixth grade, I got in trouble for laughing at footage at the Challenger explosion. Drip M.H. Lord of all drip. Okay. How about this one? What if instead of Star Trek? It was not Star, not Star, not Trek. Very cool. Very cool. Trump is fighting to do the nail not to spend the last 10 seconds of his life in prison. Obi won't you blow me. Got them Godzilla Blazers. Uh, given me atomic lung. Dick Cheney, oh, God, Dick Cheney getting revived by the Pet Cemetery and not coming back

and coming back exactly the same, the come before the porn, the starlit bandit won't W. Dada, Dallie. What? You really fucking, what? I still, I really don't know. Playing dead so well, they give me a Viking funeral. Derek Humor be like, what if in House of Dragon, the Dragon saddles were peatuses and they had to tighten their assholes to ride?

wage slave wage slave 583 big old butt cheeks Papini bros publishing presents Frank Randall's new children's book The Horaxe Donk-Donkersen homeless Chris Prismorapuripi the opposite of Derek's name is solar panel bus driver Elipsis fan So stupid Yawi connoisseur

I came on my belly and passed out And when I woke When I woke up it was done Licked clean off That's fucking live by yourself. You live completely falling asleep and not terrifying. Falling asleep like that is so fucking animal.

It's so disgusting. I have, I haven't. Don't care. John Strickland. John Strickland, Jonestown Jungle Jucer. The final secular organization of Helen Keller, FCA, the first church of Keith David. I haven't, certainly.

Not this. Not this year. I certainly have never done that ever once. Invite Neil deGrasse Tyson. So he would actually do it and you fuckers would need educating. You fuckers need educating. No, we don't. We're fucking, we know everything.

We know everything. Mr. Aziz, Mr. Aziz's goal. Pre-Raz, I got Lachau doing gravis shifts. The Dixon fact, it was Lackett as previously mentioned. They sunk the city with giant worms. Napsar of Puppets. Kazaar, real boy.

It's reversed. Now, give me my dollar Kingston. Das Goopi. Peasant of half safety. Just gape it. If you've gotten erection, gape it. If you think he's long, just gape it.

Don't use protection. Whoa, you're such an F slur. I don't know. I don't know what that is. Young Sweeney is the coolest monkey in the jungle. Busting loads on Sweeney, staining him like crados. Thank you, Jordan.

We need HR video of Just Sweene's laughs. Fans unite. ASMR, Paul Joseph Watson, Strang is he to death for making fun of his hands, hand size one too many times. Hatred will only take you to the shore, but love can make you walk on water.

Majin, Micah Bell. Nice. Out of focus, Bigfoot. I don't need a not weapon. I'm getting lightheaded. Derek fucking a dude's ass just to do a 360 move with his cock buried inside of him to flex.

Sorry, that's pretty, that's fucking cool. Sorry, Ms. Jackson. Just had brain surgery to be more submissive. Call that a lobotomy. Nice. Peasants Graham, Aetherian has the past

because he took Coloss's hard ass. Progerian Hunter is having a child Mayfram and rounding out our list as always, King of App Hazard. Thanks for joining us. Goodbye. You did it. He did it very good. Jesse.

Success starts with your drive, and American Public University is here to fuel it. With affordable tuition and over 200 flexible online programs, APU helps you gain the skills and confidence to move forward. Whether you're changing careers, starting fresh, or pursuing a lifelong passion, our programs are designed for people who never stop. You bring the fire, APU will fuel the journey.

Learn more at APU.APUS.edu. At Applebee's, drink stays better when they're sipped together. That's why they're dropping two new still-together sips cocktails made with still gin by Dre and Snoop. After one taste, you'll have your mind on your sips and your sips on your mind. Must be 21 plus void will prohibit, tax and gratuity exclude. Dining only acceptable carryout alcohols committed by law. Dispation may vary while supplies last.