The Snark Tank - #390: F***ING LEAVE

Episode Date: January 19, 2026

https://www.patreon.com/TheSnarkTank

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I saw this nigga fucking stabbing a woman at Starbucks. That's curious. Yeah, I was like, man, I really need some caffeine. I rolled in. And then, like, this guy was like, it was so fast. It looked like his arm wasn't moving. And then he was like, oh, hey, Derek. And then, like, as if nothing happened.

Yeah, yeah. And then even the workers were like, they got to get their paper. I really don't care either. Yeah. Hopefully she died. I don't know. Yeah, I thought it was pretty crazy. But, like, you know.

I just wasn't expecting him to walk in. Yeah. Like, is it better to kill somebody in? fail or kill somebody and succeed. Or stab somebody and succeed in killing them or them living. What are you saying? One more time. Like if I'm stabbing somebody, it's better to kill them than to like have them. Oh, like, finish them off?

Then just like leave them. It depends. Where did you stab them? How many times? You're stabbing somebody, you know? Like, might as well finish the job, you know, if you're going to do that. So like say you stabbed them in the arm. You think you should be like, oh, I might as well stab them in the heart now. Why would you stab somebody? That's such a pussy place to stab somebody. Well, because maybe, I don't know, man. I don't stab people all the time. Not as much as I used to. He's like, I don't know.

Like, what a loser. I didn't expect anybody to walk in. Yeah. Like, I don't know. It was weird. It was a weird interaction. I'm not a stab. Before we recorded, I was like, I'm in the Starbucks and I see there pull up.

And he just turns to me. And he looked like you saw a ghost. Yeah, because it was so like, you know, you're not expecting. It was like, oh, okay. It's fun. Welcome to the Star Tank podcast. I refuse to absorb Starbucks. that's fine

it's too close it's too close for me I get it I get it I just don't do it because I work there too long I shouldn't have to pay for things at Starbucks

That's my belief It should be free forever Absolutely after after a period of time You should be able to get free How long did you work there? A long time I remember exactly years You should move to 2000

I thought you're going to say 2000 years I was like there's no way 2013 to Yeah the world Was in 2020 That's a long time That's long enough

I would say like three years minimum. Yeah. If you spent three years working at a retail place like that, like I think you're entitled to at least. Entitled to free stuff. From like 19 to 24.

If you move to Wisconsin... No, no, no, not 24. I want you guys to move to Wisconsin, right? Because I just learned, like, I was watching a lot of true crime stuff in Wisconsin. It's more body camp footage. And there's, you can do like a lot of stuff there. The cops will just let you go.

Really? It's like Romania? It's like there was a guy that poured himself his own beer in a bar, was trespassing in the back and stuff. talking gibberish. And they were just like, hey, man, you're just going to have to get out of here.

And I was like, wait, so they're like, do you have money to pay for the thing? Because if you don't, you have to get out of here. And I'm like, oh, wait, so you don't, like, you can just have a drink and then just leave? I was like, wait a minute. That is the crazy thing about like our standards. What do he look like?

Exactly. So the interesting thing is, you're going to be surprised. He was just a little bit smaller than you. Really? He's a very giant black man. That's crazy. With a beard. looked like and the Wisconsin nights I gotta say

were very like I don't want to like get him in trouble but like he's kind of scaring us and then like he did it to three different bars and I'm like he was just hey get out of here and I was like how has he not been killed that's a man fucking crazy place if he was in like an inner city he would have blew his brains out they would have fucking blow his hell of been

because I think we went to like the probably the most populated city I'm assuming where were we Wait, you didn't go, did you? No, you missed the flight. Oh, was it Milwaukee? Yeah. That was for MythCon, right? That's it.

So, because that, it was only like 500, 600,000 people. And I'm assuming that was probably like the biggest, what that? That was the craziest. I turned off my phone. Did you? The camera thing goes first. That was the weirdest sequence of sounds I've ever heard. You got a text message?

He looks at it. Smirk slightly screenshots and then turns his phone over. That was so fucking suspicious. Welcome to StarTag podcast. It's been Chris. It's him, Derek. It's him, Sweeney. Patreon to Comps. I watch this porn video again later on. Patreon.com slash StarTek if you want to support. If you want to go over there, there's a couple of tiers that you can get early access, ad-free, exclusive episodes, all that stuff.

Milwaukee, that flight I missed. I kicked off the plane, I think. That's all, yeah. That's when you were having a bad time. Yeah, I made a joke about the pilot being sick. And I hope they didn't like it, I guess. I don't know you made that joke about. Oh, you have bombs.

I was trying to make light, like, because, like, the row was kind of frustrated too and I was kind of lightening it up. And it was working actually for them. But like, they didn't appreciate it. You should have put a burking hat on it to say any end to see if that would have. I should have. I should have. It's crazy though because I'm just like, they said like, oh, the pilot's a little sick.

And I was just like, it's a plane flies itself. Just the, you just got to sit there. Just take a nap. Like, what are you really doing in the air as a pilot in like 2020? This isn't like 1943, right? We're like the pilot's doing everything. Yeah. You know how many videos of it? Modern helicopter crashes I'm seeing, by the way, for some reason.

There's so many, like, there's a lot of helicopter crashes happening now. I think they're really bold because they have way less regulation. Well, maybe. Yeah, that's probably true. There's less regulation. And also they think, like, oh, I don't know. The computer does it. Yeah, you can be a dumb asshole and just like, hey, it's foggy as shit.

Let's fly. I guess I'll still go. And then, fucking, one of the most famous people on the world is on your, you know, your helicopter. Would it be wild if that helicopter guy had no idea who he was? Yeah, he doesn't follow sports at all. Not knowing who Kobe is as a feat, I think, honestly. That would be great, because even I would have recognized him. It is, like, somebody who doesn't care.

It is just by his height, maybe. Despite somebody's height, you're like, hmm, it's harder to not know him, right? It is harder, like, if, especially if you're an American. Or Asian. American or Asian particularly, I feel like those are the two ones that's really, particularly Chinese, yeah. Is that a big, is Chinese? Yeah, they love basketball. It's huge in America, obviously, China,

and the Southeast Asian areas. Really popular over there. It's heating up in Europe big time too. And they're also, you know, they're like their star. The biggest stars and the best players in the NBA right now are not American. It's actually kind of funny.

No one of them is. Well, who? Well, Curry. Well, these, they're those people on the way out. They're like my age. He's older. He's older. These people are a couple of years from retiring.

Yeah. Yon. and what's it called the little Dominican boy from New York I forgot his name Clay This experience That you're talking about

These are people that were like They're on their way out Clay is kind of washed actually Clay What's the, what's the He's on Mavericks right now And he's kind of washed What is the name of the dude

The little Dominican dude From the Bronx The one that was the fucking Pretty much leading the Knicks Last freaking Um season I forgot his name He's Dominican?

I don't know anything He's black But he's a Dominican guy I'm talking about Brunson Jalen Brunson You're saying a little Dominican guy He's not little. He's young.

That's what I'm saying. He's young. I forgot his name. I don't know. He's a zesty one. Everybody makes... Oh, oh, oh, he's... Right.

He is Dominican. Yeah, he's... Yeah, yeah. Cats good. Cats good. Yes. Yeah. Carlton and he...

Carthead Thompson. Towns. He's really fucking good, too. Towns is good. Yeah. A lot of talent. He's actually really good. He's young, so that he's a good example, but he's not one of the best players.

You're only one of the best players, really? He's not. No. MVP right now is a fucking Canadian. or at least he was last year's MVP Right? Like he was Canadian as shit Fuck and then you have like people like Yokage

Who's the best player right now You have fucking it's just like It's gross that it's It's if we're consistently used to be I just that I'm trying I just think that what you call it I think I think a lot of I don't know no shady Yoke

I think he's very very good offensive player I think he's a horrendous defensive player Like he lost a lot of weight though He did get in the gym And he did what he asked him to He's not he's not that good at defense, that's very true, but his offense is so good that it well, more than offsets that.

Where there's a lot of people that don't have that. That's true. Like a Trey Young who actually just got traded from the Hawks finally to the Wizards, he's only offense has absolutely no defense. It's unfortunate. Yeah. The defense is really hard to play in basketball, though. People don't understand how hard is to play defensive basketball.

No, I just don't care. I just don't know, you know what I mean? Yeah. Most sports in general Americans are not driving. When people talk about, like, defensive, his defense is bad and his offensive offense. Like, you can't know that. Yeah, you can.

No, they're not computers. They've got stats like that. They do. No, no. It's like they wake up, if they wake up one day. If you wake that guy up at 9 a.m. like out of a stupor,

his stats are way off, aren't they? Why would that have any context? He's not doing the action. Yeah, but who cares? It's like telling someone's ability to jump high when they're walking up and downstairs. Like, there's not. But that's what I mean.

If you can't get that granglinger about it, then they're not real stats anyway. That's not, That's not how that. And what are you talking about? Yeah, exactly. He's like the thinking man right now. He's really,

like, philosophies here. The pondering retard. The pondering retard. If the NBA is being dominated by Europeans, that's kind of, or like non-Americans, it's kind of wild.

I remember having that experience with the Spider-Man when like fucking, you know, Tom Holland and fucking Andrew Garfield. Oh, they're both British. They're both Brits. And a lot of,

he is. He's a half breed. I don't give a shit. Half breed is full breed as far as I'm concerned. Yeah. You got to be full blood American. Otherwise, if you got an accent,

if you're American and you have British parents and you're raised with an accent, you're British. In my opinion, fundamentally. It's something like that. What do you watch it? It's like,

Monty Parthon. Yeah. You emulate how your parents speak. Well, I don't know. I feel like in America, you usually just like. It's usually TV or something or your friends.

You just get warped out of your accents. Yeah. I have the faintest accent, but I didn't really hear it. Our friend Marin has no. accent at all anymore, basically. He doesn't have an accent. It's vaguely there, but like it used to, I've known

him for 18 years. He probably had one more, he probably had one more prior, but he has an accent. Stark. The difference is stark. Because that recordings of us back then. America, America's culture is everywhere and it fucks, and fucking rapes everything.

Yeah. That's unfortunate. Like our friends from Costa Rica, she sounds more American than I do. It's fucking terrifying. Yeah, she's also pale as, she's a ghost. She's half a, she's American born, technically. Yeah, yeah.

Like her other ones don't sound like that. Her siblings, they don't sound like her. It's crazy. Well, no, because they're surrounded by Panthers. Right. Right. Yeah. But one of them, I guess. The Panthers don't have access. They're speaking blood and viscera. Yeah. They shout blood at them. I'm not, I think that's metal is fucking, I don't, I don't fucking care about anything. Really. Is that where you're at? I feel that. Because I'm kind of at that point. I feel that. I'm not. I'm really not. Do you not? Do you not feel that way at least a little bit though? No. Really? No. I have children in my life. I love, I have so much more love in general for the world than I did prior. What if, all right, here's a hypothetical. I'm like,

that's the only thing they deserve really is just love. So that's why I care. That's why I love so much more now. Hypothetical, what if you could, if you could, if you could look into a crystal wall and see everything's fucked? You can look at the crystal wall and you can see like the children in your life, all of them become either serial murderers or like Kirk or Tate adjacent. suck. It means I failed but like you know this for sure and then you go back do you love them the same? Yeah, of course impossible. Because I feel like I feel like I don't know what

does it mean not loving them going to get them, you know? That's a crazy. What do you mean? Like what does me? But you can't control that. You can't control whether or not you love something. I understand it but me like me like averting my care for them does this. Like what is that going to do? It might make them worse. Or might make them better me not loving them. I don't know that. But I know I still love that. That's the gamble though, right? That's kind of the thing. It's like, hmm, what do I do here?

will tough love work I can tell you from a lot of experience Tough love usually doesn't work It kind of does I think you gotta like You gotta balance it properly I think people people think people think Sometimes kids need to be slapped in the head a little bit I don't think that's true

I think it's I think they need to be taught I think people learn their lessons Thrown down the stairs I think they learn their like beat with like a whip Or something I think the problem is that like I look I think discipline is necessary I think you have discipline your children

Yeah They turn into like they turn into like little Ooh They turn a little crazy people Will it's a little much. But I think the problem is that. Is that too hard? I was going for like more like a nine months old.

Oh. Like where they really, their schools finally. They're really just, hardening. Yeah, where they're really just bastard. Well, the thing about like a nine month old

is that they're like malleable. They haven't solidified yet. So they got their bones are kind of like airbags a little bit. So you can. You can do it. Have you been around a nine month old ever? No, actually. It's this theory.

It's theory crafting right out. I think this bill works at this. I'm sure I must have been. but like I don't remember it. I certainly never tested the malayability of their bones. Their worst age of a child is like between one and one and two. One and two is like the worst period of time for children. That's when they suck the most.

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but they want to like, they can kind of feel things. So they're just being terrible. And you can't convey to them what's wrong because they can't speak to you yet. But then they get to like three and stuff like that, they can actually talk finally. You're like, all right, cool. I know you can tell what you want. I don't know anything about that. Yeah, well. Let's hit them. I mean, hey, bro. I mean, we all know what babies want, man. They just want to be comfortable. Yeah, honestly. Yeah. And, you know, but you have to, they have to not be uncomfortable all the time too, it is unfortunate as well. You have to, you have to let your child be used to like not being the most comfortable. You have to acclimate them to suffering because that's what life is. Not suffering, but not

feeling like, oh, I'm at the most peace right now. I was like, no, sometimes you got to be like, hey. Right, but from a baby's frame of reference, that is suffering because they don't know anything else. It's just pure. It's just pure. It feels so hard. It feels so hard. I feel. It feels. It It feels harsh, at least. It feels harsh to the parents. I think I actually have a very different philosophy in the way that I think a lot of people are socially retarded and they can't figure out what's wrong with their kids and they're like, you just got to leave them alone sometimes. Isn't that there's difference between that and just abandoning them? Like if a child, if a child, right? Well, the thing is like this.

Like, because a child, right, if you're with a child and the child is like crying because of the fact that you get up from the bed, right? Eventually the kid is going to have to sleep on the bed by themselves. But if you always go to the beck and call of the child, it will not get used to being able to deal with things on its own. So a little, like in the infant stage. Infants is different. No, they're babies. You have to be with them. In the infant stage, it's like, all right, because a lot of times, like, they're crying.

A lot of people leave them alone because they can't figure out what's wrong. I believe, this is just a belief, just because of viewing the world that people are really stupid and they miss social cues. Like even certain things, like a human will grow up and not even being. able to clean themselves well enough and the baby's dirty. The baby's ass is still dirty. But like they don't clean themselves up well. So of course they're not going to clean the baby's ass well enough. So the baby is uncomfortable. Like there's so many examples of like just make the baby comfortable and it won't because like you hear people be like oh my baby barely cried. And people are like, what? That's crazy. I'm like yeah, because that person's not stupid.

I think that's a thing too. But then it varies. I think it varies. I think it's true. I think more often. I think the human condition makes it vary. That puts the variables in. I don't understand why my baby's not comfortable. He's sleeping in his own vomit just like I do. It's like, it's crazy. Like a one-year-old child, right? It's like an old-as-a-death. Like a child, right?

Like a child, you have to transition a baby into sleeping from being on the bed with the parents, obviously. The roaches crawling over his face makes him cry. I don't get it. The fucking rats. That video of the rat. It's traumatized me. Wait, what video of the rats? We have a group chat.

I don't know. I can't remember what the fuck, which group chat was sending it because now there's like eight group chats with a bunch of bullshit in it. I barely check it. But this morning, I checked it. it. It was like this video of like it's somebody like oh I went to go help my friends move and I found out why part one of like I don't know how many

the first one's really the only one you need to see but it's just a fucking house full of rats. It's a horder house right and it's like hundreds, dozens of rats just run around and they're calm as fucking it makes me so mad the way they're talking about it they're like no can we get can we get the couch to the new house and it's like leave

everything here dude. You got to burn the house. It's insane it makes me so mad the way And it's, by the way, not to look, far be it for me to racialize something. Huh? But this is always white people in these videos. Like, I've never, I'm sure. I'm sure there are examples. Sure.

It's the outline. But like, it's wild that I always see the videos of just white people be like, yeah, this is my house. And there's a fucking rat practicing yoga, dude. Like, just like, chill as fuck. Like, this is my house. they named one of the rats toe biter. Did you hear that in the video? They say, oh, that's toe biter.

And I'm like, bro, you're fucked. They're acquainted. You should burn the house with you in it at a certain point. That's so bad. Because you're just going to move that problem. Ain't no way that, ain't no way that house got that way. Yeah, that problem is big. They're going to do it again.

That's just wherever they got. The house didn't start off that way. Like when you see a fucked up town. Yeah. It didn't start off. No town is dilapidated with its first. You don't build and finish a, town to have you move into when it looks like a

fucking R-E map, you know? I got an idea. Let's build a dilapidated building on purpose. It's going to bring in the clientele we want. At this point, I guess. The Asmond Golds of the world.

Would you be surprised if he's like, I don't, I think there's nothing. It wouldn't even surprise me if that was genuinely a strategy and then just they paint it over. You know what I mean? You know, they kind of built shoddy in the first place. Yeah. So I mean, really good coat of paint.

No walls. Paint over that. It's just a thick sheet of paint. No walls. How does that? It's flimsy paint. You can't put any paint. You try to put a command strip on it and they fall through.

Dude, I've been in places where they just paint. You remember what they did with our apartment on Olive? I'll never forget that as long as I live. His tub cracked and it was like water damage in like on the bathroom wall up through the second wall in my closet. And it was like, hey, it's fucking crazy right here. And they were like, okay. And they told us to evacuate the apartment for like a couple hours. And we came back and it was fixed.

But it was the same wall. And they just painted over the fucking black water damage. I'm like, what is it? I love it. The landlord special. That is the landlord special. I don't get it. I don't get why.

If you sold me the apartment, I would care about it enough to actually fix it. That's kind of thing that frustrates me about it is like, just let me own it. You know what I mean? I know, we're past that point. That's never going to happen. I know, we need the guillotine's flowing before that happens again. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, it's just frustrated because I know I would care about my apartment if I owned it more than these people do because they own like, you know, hundreds of properties.

Right. Thousands, maybe. Likely. It's like so wild like dealing with like. You remember that though, right? I don't, yeah. I don't, I don't know how people like, because you get so much money owning property. Like buying into property is expensive, but the amount of money you make and you do nothing.

first year, within the first year of owning a property, you're probably nearing like 50% of the money you spent into buying the property more often than not. After the first year. Especially if you're like a, you know, what we were dealing with. Yeah, like a renter. What was it like, um, what do you call it? This is probably a word for it. We didn't have landlords. We had like a property management company, I guess is what it's called. Oh yeah. That's a corporation. They're fucking, yeah. Whoever's like the person that owns that is like so rich is probably hilarious. Yeah. Also, there's so much renting fraud and bullshit going on in California in general that it's like

here it's obscene. New York also obscene as well too. Any major cities really. I'm not going to. I'm not going to deny that like my home state. I'm not going to. He's cracking down over there. I mean he's eight days, bro. Eight days. It is crazy that he got that he got that free child care in eight days

brother. Like these people, a lot of people will become career politicians and they're just like you should know now but that what based on what Trump is doing and what I'm Donnie did in New York. It's like the only reason people aren't helping you is because they don't want to. Yeah, straight up.

It's because it doesn't benefit them enough to help you. That's the only reason why they're helping you. Well, it's because they're helping the people that are giving them more money. Yeah. It's always that. Like, even sometimes you'll hear people talk and whispering at the lower level. They're like, oh, I actually wanted to do something, like, just being like an mayor mayoral position. And then the right investors and the right people, they're like, hey, well, if you don't do that, you know.

Here's like $85,000. Did you see the... I'll donate to your pocket. Right. Did you see that people were like, oh, well, I'm going to start a daycare business in New York City. It seems like a fucking easy. And it's like, okay, what's the problem? Yeah, I don't...

Okay, good. What is that? Are you going to be a good? Are you going to be a good place? Yeah, you still have to be good. Nobody's going to be like, hmm, I get a free opportunity to spend on daycare for my kids. Let me go to the shit one. Yeah.

Like, it is. Yeah, man, I don't know, man. It's really backwards. The idea, the fact that we've let ourselves believe that, like, helping people doesn't inherently invest in better a place. Right. We've let ourselves really forget that. Like, that's like, oh, that's not real.

And it's, like, that's what happens. Every time we invest in something, it becomes better usually. And it's like, oh. People are so afraid of the word comment isn't that they forgot that communities actually matter. Yeah. You know? Like, it's actually kind of crazy. We let it happen, man.

No, not. We weren't here yet. I didn't do shit. Yeah, we weren't here. You know? Blame our. Blame our parents older friends. Oh, no, my parents are old.

It is their fault. Is their generation? Yeah. This is what I was- My parents have historically canceled each other out. I told them, I just don't vote then. Like, what do you do?

Well, I even bother. It doesn't make any sense. I don't even think they voted this time. My mom would be 60, I think, now about 60 now. It's probably her generation. Whoever didn't do anything before. Yeah, about 60.

They can take the blame. Yeah. Because it's like, I blame boomers is a generation. Yeah. Because ultimately everything they did really. They're weird generation, man. Like, even, like, interacting with them.

It's like, why do you guys, like, actually just suck? They really are kind of incapable of, like, listening. It's really strange because I, even, like, because I was in New York, I was with speaking to my uncles, right? And one of my uncle was, like, a podhead, like, nicest guy ever who was, like, obviously fucking clearly was a panther once upon the time. How old is he? He's, like, maybe, like, 63.

All right, 63. He's, like, he was, like, clearly a panther once upon the time. And then there's, like, my other uncles who are just, like, such an asshole, like, Christian stick in the muds. Yeah. And I'm like, you guys under. understand that you are one mixed race people, two, old and stupid and Christian. Y'all suck.

Like, what are you? What is wrong with you? Is there's people in marriages that they hate? Yeah. That's my favorite thing about like any time I see like, you know, older people, like in any context and they're always like, they're so clearly miserable. Yeah. With the person that they've chosen.

I think that's a thing that needs to be changed. And that's a lot of those people. You need to, you need, like, I don't understand why people like I, look, okay, first and foremost, I think it always spans from like the idea of people not wanting to be like perceived as shitty people. But it's like if you're in a relationship with someone and you're not in love with them anymore, you've realized that. Obviously, when that starts happening at first, you guys try to, you know, correct, fix it. You know, work together, figure out how you guys can rekindle your love if it's still there is worth doing that. But then if you don't like it,

fucking leave. Fucking leave. You know, what then what happens is that people get so weird about being vilified for that. And it's like, well, why are you vilifying something? Do you have them stay and cheat on their partner over and over again? It's easier. Or just leave. It is easier for a lot of people. It's easier because you don't want to do with the perception of being a shitty person. It's not just that.

It's not. I think that's a huge part of it. It's not, well, what's harder is for a lot of people. It doesn't matter to me. I am not the average person. I will say,

say for some reason I didn't know who Jojo was and, you know, she's doing the weird shaman seances and she's like fucking a bunch of dudes, whatever. Something's happening. I'd be like, oh, that sucks. I'm out of here, though.

And then I'll like, I've, I've slept in my car before because I chose to do it. I wanted to, as an experiment, I want to see if I can actually do it. Because I was thinking about getting a car in Europe, driving everywhere. I was thinking about doing a lot of stuff like 15 years ago. Yeah. So I can do it. So from me, I'm not like this person that's like, oh, I can't. It's going to be too much work or whatever.

But the average person's like, fuck, I'm not thinking a new place. If you're married, most people don't do pre-nups. They don't do post-nups. Also, kids. So they're just like the kids things. That's the biggest. you know, hold her in organizations. So, you know, if you're a good person,

it's a big thing for a lot of people, they don't care. They don't let people don't give a fuck. It's a sad reality of just kids are just, they're almost like pets to people. Kids are, having children is selfish. People try not to argue against it.

It is 100% selfish. You have kids because you want to have kids and then you feel like, because you're just a complete slave to your biological imperative. Yeah, well, is it's like, oh, I want to have kids because it's the right thing to do.

You want to have kids in the same way. You want to have kids in the same way. You want to eat. Right? Like really. Like truly it is. Well, not necessarily. It's in the same way that like,

if someone makes you mad, you want to kill them. You know what I mean? Like, there's probably a biological reason for why like if someone cuts you off in traffic, you get rage. And if you were a monkey, if you were back to ape,

you go and like that fucking, the gorilla that jumps on the, the chip that jumps on the gorilla's back and he blames the other chip? Like that's natural. You can see the other one raising its hand to like try to like, They slow it down.

It's so funny. It's such a human reaction. But like that's the same type of thing really to me. It's weird to me because it's like just don't. It's like, you don't have to do that. You don't have to have kids. I tell a little time,

I'm like, dude, if we ever fall out of love, just like I'll be upset. Do you say if you ever fall in love, just leave me? If you ever fall out of love? Like if you ever like generally don't love each other anymore

we're like we're like we're like, it's genuinely not able to work. I wish people were like just leave me. It's fine. Like how. Integrity. You know, they're just like,

Oh man, I don't, I don't feel it. Obviously, I'll hurt and like, duh, I'll hurt a lot. It'll hurt less though. But it'll be worse. It'll hurt way less. Yeah. She's fucking, like, this is a crazy thing. Imagine you're with your wife, right?

You, your wife goes out she cheats on you. Some dude shoots the club up and then she has the nerve to lay down next to you in the same bed. It's like, like, I wouldn't slip into the darker urges of myself. But I can see how someone would get so enrage that they'd be like, oh yeah you deserve to die I'm gonna hit you yeah this is the time to do it I will say there is

I think that is I think that's hyper fucked up Yeah Like coming down in a bed with me And like hugging me like Oh saying I love you to my face After some guy just jizzed in you Like what the fuck that would drive me in

Like I'm I'll be like yo I'm giving you a count down Seriously you should probably get out of here Before I'm done counting down It is yeah I mean sure it's crazy It is it's an unfortunate

I don't these people we are complicated but we're also animals at the end of the day and it's just and being an animal is just being selfish

just looking out for yourself so that's why it's so like how can I be the most comfortable inconvenient in a bad situation and so you're going to rationalize everything you're going to do you're going to juggle you can do all this stuff

and I get it I think the kid one though is kind of the craziest one because I understand the biological urge to just like fucking have kids that is survival that is like

But as a human being, we have the choices, right? That's the thing that. I really don't have that urge anymore, man. I really just don't want children. So the urge is when you get, the urge is you getting horny. That is the urge. Yeah. Yeah, but my urge is like, hmm.

I get it. You know, yes. That's the bottom of urge. But for me, it's like, I was like, oh, never mind. I get it. But it's like, I just, I don't know, man. I just don't think it's the right thing to do to have, especially like, yeah.

I just don't think it's the right thing to do. Like, my brain is like, this is like, obviously, this is abuse. The only reason that I would entertain the idea of having kids is because I think it would genuinely be fun. It would be fun to impart to teach a kid to do things. But that's again, that's the selfish thing. Dude, if things were... It's just fun.

Right. That is selfish. Dude, if I lived in a country that... Like, say, right, I always go back to the penis countries. They're like not even being threatened. Like, say, I feel like they wouldn't even do anything if, say, Trump attacks Greenland. Yeah, they probably wouldn't.

And like, I feel like, you know... A bunch of fucking pussies. Yeah, like the EU, you know, the main continent would be... It would like every major war, you know, maybe because I know, I know, I know like Norway got a little bit of it. I know, I know the Nazis were fucking with Norway a little bit. I know, but I don't know. I feel like that would be the best place to go. What I'm saying is.

You didn't have like Vikings in cryosleep? I don't know. They're just not like that. They just not like that no more, I think. That is, I know that, but that's an awesome fucking idea. They come on. They get shot down. They're like, you're running at me with fucking yelling at blades.

I'm going to suit you. You know, it's like, oh. Tell me that isn't a fucking, tell me, tell me cryo Vikings isn't a fucking sick. Cryo Vikings is a good. That's AI book it put on Amazon. Yeah, there you go. Turn it to a book.

I mean, I've seen, I'll write the pitch by everything. I've seen everything on Amazon as a book now. Because now that like AI is good enough. The amount of slot books is so funny that I was like, this is going to get banned so fast. Like this is like, they're going to ruin it for everyone.

Like say one day you were like, one of my friends actually just made a book. He's like, I've been working on this for a long time. I made a book. He like, he like, because it's, it's not just, I know,

I know, it's a whole like thing. And there's illustrations or stuff. It just reminds me of like, when Napoleon Dynamite says, what is it? Pedro says,

build her a cake. Oh, build. Yeah. And like, I like when people who don't speak English well, like let's say something like make sex or something. Let does make sex.

You know, like, that's good. I like that. I don't like that. I hate that. I don't like that all. It sounds brutalless.

It sounds like a crick. Let us create six. Let us create Let us fabricate baby You got Let us fabricate gum Yes Ooh alright

See you're on I'm on board now Let me Putting the baby in you I hate it I hate it I don't want to You know I feel like the most

complicated thing about the baby thing though Is Like The way that we're talking It's like I know many people Around my age

Just specifically that I have kids now Yeah And it feels so disrespectful To see all this shit But in the same way That I try my best Not to shit

on people's religion just outright. Outright. In the same way, and it's like, there's a part of me that wants to purge that feeling of like respect because I don't really respect it, if you know what I'm saying? Sure, sure. I don't respect religion. I don't respect people just living like animals and being like not responsible for society.

Sure. And I'm like, how do you, I keep thinking, I need a two by four to the back of my head. Why? I feel like it'll change me. Maybe. It certainly would. I don't think. It certainly would.

I don't know. I think it's like a, the kid thing to me, it's just like it's not, it is, there's many things that are, maybe not many things, but I can think of things that are selfish and also kind of beneficial or necessary. You know what I mean? Whereas it's like it is selfish to kind of like, it is selfish to, I guess, look after your family versus, you know, fucking every single person on the street looking for help, right? It's like, okay, sure.

But it is like, you can't help everybody. Right. Really. Not to the extent that you could help like a necessary amount of selfishness. Yeah. There's a, it's a balance. I think preservation. You could have kids. And if you're like, if you really know that's what you want to do and you're good at it and you're doing it.

I know parents who are like really good and like they're doing it really well. And I'm like, cool. I can respect that. But then there are people that I know did it for like. They just like, yeah, we can't afford anything. There's a bunch of people back where from. There's like three girls I know back where from. You know them too.

Obviously, I just had kids. No, I don't. Way young. Crazy. None of those are mine. I hope not. Certainly not. I hope not.

Two of the ones that have kids suck. They're terrible. A lot of shitty kids. A lot of shitty people. I just feel bad for the kids. In 20, 30 years, if we don't do anything, like, what is their life going to be like? You know what I'm saying? We're upset right now by the conditions of like things.

Like, what are they? So they grow up. It has to get better. They'd be like, Yeah, there's, there's ups and foals. I actually don't,

I actually, the reason why I'm doubting it a little bit is because people are starting because of how shitty things are now, they're looking fondly back on like, say the Obama administration. I understand the urge to do that

because it is significantly better. Sure. But we were already upset post that of like, this niggal lied about a lot of shit. He got caught to be, when they said, oh, Congress blocked him for this,

this and that. We're seeing an example of like, that doesn't matter. When it was time to go war and further proxy wars, Congress didn't support it and he did it anyway. So there's things that could be done and he's like, oh, I was

blocked. They did this and I'm like, yeah, but you can just override all that shit because it doesn't none of that shit matters. They didn't let me. They didn't love me. They were like, Sandy Hook thing. That shit. I remember watching that attentedly and being like genuinely disillusioned. Sandy Hook? What are you talking about? Is that the episode where the hooks

come down and that's crazy? Oh yeah, when Sandy she gets hooked. Yeah, Sandy is hooked by the No, it's when those children got murdered. Which one? Oh. Oh, sorry. Wait, why are you bringing up Sandy Hook?

Because that's the first time I was like, really? There's just nothing's going to happen. Like, it was the first time I was aware of us. That's when I was 18. Because I was 18. Like 18. Sandy Hook was not 18, I think. We could not have been.

Sandy Hook was 2012? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? Yeah. I thought that was like four days ago. Like it felt. There was, there probably was a Sandy book four years ago. There was a new Sandy Hook.

There was a new Sandy Hook equivalent, you know. I'm thinking of, I'm thinking, Yuvaldi, which is more recent. What was that last year, two years ago? I think it's two years or three months. That was one in Texas, yeah, Yuvaldi's. That might, that would forever be the craziest one. I think my brain is permanently damaged somehow, like,

because I can't keep time. Yovaldi is the most gruesome one because it's, it showed like the law enforcement cowardice. Yeah, they were just like, when it comes to like, well, that would I don't want to go in. Watching the, I've watched like maybe three different videos.

Like that shit, I, dude, detaining parents, bro. That's also the thing that stresses me out. How does that not? Like, how does that not make you like, oh, fuck it? Let me go find a demon's heart and eat and become a monster. You know what makes me sad? Where is the like, say the quote unquote George Washington, the leader of that parent? The person, all those parents were pissed off. Who's going to start the fucking riot? We went over this. There's not, not enough of them are lead poisoned. That is very true. They don't have lead poisoning. They don't got that thing in their brain that says we shouldn't, we shouldn't sail across the Delaware and kill British people in the dog. market. You know, that isn't like there's no, there's, that's, that's gone.

Purposely based on, based on media. I'm going to get shot by the police by storming the police in that situation because that is too insane for me to be a bystander. That's crazy. It is crazy. Based on how media and things have gone, we've been programmed to not be like that. They would have had to have shot me though. They would have, they would have had to kill me.

They would have, they're not going to detain me. That's so crazy. I don't even have kids right now. If my nephew was in there, there's, there is no way a living me. would have stopped trying to go in there. If my nephew was in there, I would definitely would have sent kicks in there. That's crazy.

And I would have said that would be like, he'll be here in a second. And I would have got my nephew and left for it's there. Chris is on his way, I swear. That's crazy. And I purposely drop stuff near him. That is so evil.

Sorry, Damien. He doesn't listen. Good stuff. He's a child, man. He's like 18. Oh, yeah, he's fine. What is he doing? You spike me.

to help you, you little bitch, you're a grown man. Shum him over. Grown ass man, yeah, I'm done. Nothing. Over. Well, man, Kaysenat was reading online yesterday. That's crazy. Wild days.

Yeah, the only thing we have to talk about really is Kaysana quitting, which I don't care or know about. So, like, we can move on the questions really quick. What is your angle? Because it's not the same thing. So what happens is that he was, he's been doing. So I think Kaisenat went through a whole, a little bit of metamorphous where he's kind of realizing that like, oh, they were laughing at me, not with me for a while.

Yeah. So he's kind of being like, oh, I want to, like, like, you know, get smarter and absorb some media as in just me being a fucking a howler for all the time. Yeah. So he was like, he's been like doing an exercise every day where he goes online and he reads out loud to try to better himself at reading. He's like, I don't like the way I speak.

I don't like how I stumble over my words. So he could do that, right? I mean, I could too. Yeah. Everyone works for everybody. So what happens is, that's cool. So he went online and we're like, fucking, he was, there's words he'd come up with and you'd be like, oh, I don't really know this.

word. I'm trying to see. He's trying to why I just find his way through the word. Like how reading actually works. Yeah. And what happened is that he fucks up and he's like, I'm going to look up this word and know exactly what it is and how to be able to pronounce it. And people are just like clowning him in a comments. And it's like, it's funny because so many of the people in the comments that are making fun of him aren't even spelling the shit. They're making fun of him correctly. They can't read either. Everybody's illiterate. And it's like, it's like, it's like, it's insane because he's like, look, I'm, I think I've called Kaizenata Koon many

of times. I think he is a coon. I think he is. He's got him in the chat. You're a Coon. Coon with a K. Coons, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, what do you call it? Coon Amitata. That's crazy. Ooh, it's a good one.

But the thing is that, like, I can respect somebody being like, I want to try to get better at something. Sure. And, you know, being vulnerable because he's probably like, oh, there's probably a lot of people that follow me that probably don't know how to do this either. And unfortunately, I am a role model of people. So he's like, he's doing that. And people are shitting on him. And I'm just like, I cannot believe someone is getting shot on. for trying to learn.

I can absolutely believe this. No, no, I can. Sorry, I can believe it because that's happened to me. You guys do it to me actively here. Yeah, but we're joking. I try. Yeah, sure.

But it's like, man, it's just over. It's just, it's do or do not. We were talking about this a little bit before. I think we, before we started recording. But like, we're past the point where you can be genuine on the internet. Like, that's over. Like, that was like, that was 2013, 2014,

before and even that was like kind of late. Yeah. You remember like Boogie 29 and 8 like before he was crashed out and went crazy? Yeah. Like all of his thing was like him just talking about how his life was difficult and like all that stuff. And people were fucking simple. He got famous from from the fact that people were sympathetic to him.

People believed in him that he wanted to like get better. They genuinely wanted good things for like I remember because I felt that way too. I was like oh man I hope he does well. Yeah. And like that's that internet's gone. It's over dude. Yeah. Maybe it'll come back.

I don't know. You'll have to have like an EMP. I think the problem is that, you know, I think the problem is that they're not care about things and car everything stupid era. It took too hard, man. It slammed a little too hard. Yeah. No shade to the people that were involved in it.

But like it's like it was like I understand it's performative. But the problem is that it's performative. But then it's informing people that come up. So then they start living by that. Yeah. There's no. And then it turns into this culture of people being kind of shitty. It's the nature of the beast.

It's a bad mix of people who just weren't. I mean, realistically, it's a bad mix of a lot of, like, the internet's a big thing, right? Algorithms and all that stuff. But then also a mix of just people not being parented well straight up. Yeah. Because, like, I don't understand how you, I just, I can't fathom, like, how people got to where they're at. That guy, that Nick Shirley guy, being like, oh, but mevelinth. how do you not know

how are you 23 years old rough 23 by the way but like yeah rough 23 I think he does a lot of drugs at least I would fucking hope so I suspect you know I think the problem is that people

Isis I suspect Oh I suspect very cool I actually heard I did hear They're so gone I think you said ISIS with no context Ew but like I don't know

I can understand not understanding certain words because of you don't You don't really absorb Like especially now People don't Not if you're out there making documentaries on Somali daycare. Now that's true.

What are you doing involved in politics if you don't know what benevolent? That's like whatever. That's a tier three word. Literally. It's like that's not even a crazy high tier one. But the thing is that like people, some people don't absorb shit. And like I think he's a dumb ass for the shit.

He don't absorb shit. I think he's a dumb ass for the shit he spews, right? Fuck that guy for the shit he spews. Sure, sure. But at the same time, people just not knowing stuff. It's like it happens, you know? I think the fact that he's both those things is ridiculous.

Yeah. It's just like you just got no business in that space. Yeah, exactly. Like if I did boxing or something. It's like, what are you doing? It's like, it's like, it's like, yeah, you would never do that. It's insane. It's genuinely like, it's, I don't know.

And I think that's a problem where like, I don't know. I think genuineness is the only thing that's going to make the world better. The problem is that it's so. It's cringe. It's crazy to be nice. It's pussy and grinned. It would be. The thing that pisses me off about all the, what do you call it simps?

Yeah, it's, uh, the parasocial people. is they would follow suit, because they're, they're just taking, um, their lead from the people that are doing it. So let's just say for the sake of argument, like,

like an exercise of, if, if Aiden Ross and all those freaks, all collectively were like, what's going through right now too? Sure. But like, what's happening with them?

Hold on. But like, collectively, if they were just all like, hey, you know what? Let's fuck with these people. Let's all be nice.

Let's just all like start being nice as fuck. They would change in like three days. All of the people watching. Oh, yeah. First be like, what the fuck's happening? And then they would follow suit. I think what happens is this, right?

What happens is that they're going to, he's going to, the problem is that's right, when you start changing how you are, you lose following. That's happens, right? And these niggas are so money hungry. They're parasocial. That's the whole point. No, no, I think to a degree, right? You'll lose a negligible amount. Hundreds. And they have tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of people following them. Yeah. They'll lose, like I said, a negligible amount. And you're always gaining if you're in that space. Like, it's not like you're just like, like, blanket losing. Sorry. No, I'm just saying like, even, this is kind of, this is kind of, this is kind of, difficult to conceptualize because not a lot of people like are in the space or think about it in this way.

But like if you lose, if you like, you can lose potentially like, let's say like a month goes by, right? And you've like flipped your content or whatever and you lose a thousand people. But you gain 500. You're losing people. But like you're gaining parts of an audience that you're just not seeing. It's not going to be positive until like, you know, some threshold match. And then you're back to box. That's kind of what it's like.

Yeah. Whereas like you're not really. There's certain people who are so popular that they're not really in. of ever. Yeah. I even think about us, you know, when you look at like our numbers

and like say, uh, revenue growth. We look at our growth overall. Yeah. And there was people when we first started out that were probably from the anti-SJW era that, uh,

you know, they were really stupid. And because of that, they're like me or some. They're just like me or some shit. And then we were like, oh, uh,

you know, all this conservatism shit and all this stuff that's like ruining and and fascism's ruining like all this stuff. And then they're like upset and they're like, I'm leaving and shit. We're leaving. And it's like, our show has been growing. Yeah.

It's been growing. The support's been growing and stuff like that. And it's like, yeah, those people, they're just loud in the, in a minority. This is our biggest month ever. January. The fuck? I don't understand what happened with that. Isn't that weird?

Yeah. Like, usually like, that was something I noticed. Oh, usually there's a dip. I think I do know. Do you, oh, the clips you think? Yeah. I think so, too. I think so too.

I'm reediting some of my batch now to have like the episode numbers in them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because like, so people can find them. Because I was like, oh, that's, I don't know why I didn't think to do that when I was like fucking high. I think, I think what happens is, um, is people, it depends on how you pivot, you know. Like some people pivot towards like you right, Chris, you guys, you made particularly, uh, uh, like sort of, I don't know, uh, reference to politics shit, right?

Sure. And then you made a, you, you never, you never didn't involve video games into what you did. Video games are kind of the main driving force of what you did it. Sure. And then you were like, I'm not going to get into fuck up politics right now because I'm not super learning it. I'm just going to focus on video games. That's a, that's a, that's a direction change that is still within your realm, right? Like, let's say right now, like genuinely, right now, if Logan Paul or Jake Paul tried to genuinely, like, if they were like, yo, I had an epiphany, like, I don't like the way I've been leaving this world.

And they tried to do better. They would fail. Yes. They would fail at that. Because they've been, like, like, if Andrew Tate, like, sat down, had a real moment where he talks about, like, reflects on his life and is like, look, man, I was a piece of shit. Even if he's genuine, which we're not going to believe because that happens to. We're not going to believe him.

Yeah. Andrew Tate's a criminal. We're not going to believe him. Here's the thing. Yeah. This is why I want to push back a little bit is because Andrew Tate by all accounts, everybody should have felt like, oh, his career's over. He got beaten by a subpar boxer when this guy's supposed to be like the top G. He's supposed to be so good. He got, he got, he got tore up and the pictures of him bent down and grabbed a dude.

Like he wants to pull his pants down that shit. He was supposed to pull his pants down. for late the fuck out of him. He had like a cartoon bite out of his head in one of the pictures. It was crazy. Dude, he got worked. And then so you'd think the cult, his, his parasols, people would abandon him because like, oh, this guy's clearly not the top G.

No, he made excuses. He made the excuse that a normal fighter does. I tried my best. He said all the stuff that a pussy would say to his perspective, right? Right. A non-top G. And they're all still there. I understand that.

Because it doesn't matter. No, no, no. But he still enforces their mentality. I think when that was not their mentality at all. No, no, no, no. He's like, well, I went out there and I tried a cult. Exactly. They're not going to see anything.

But that's what I mean. I feel like the parissocial is the cult. These people like this person, they don't care what's actually coming out of their mouth. I think I think I think there's truth to. I think there's absolutely truth to that I think, but I do believe that people that make a genuine turn towards like being better people. They just won't. Because think of how many people who have tried. Look at, look at eye dubs, right?

And you can say where you want how things panned out. But his first initial video was like genuinely to say. being like, yeah, I don't really like the shit I made before. And I don't, I don't feel, I thought that was a terrible video. I mean, you may not like it. You may not like it. You may not like it. I respect, I respect his feelings.

But I'm just like, I'm going to tell you from like, say if I was, if you, if he came to me, it was like, hey, what do you think of that? I'd be like, that sucks that you feel that way. But I understand where you're coming from. I mean, I get, I get it right. That's, that's besides the point. That's what happens. That's how some people are.

Where I even think he was a particularly the most toxic person. What is your point? I don't understand. What is your point? It's not good enough for everybody? Exactly. People don't care about bettering themselves. I see,

like this is what I... No, people don't care about you bettering yourselves when you make me laugh. You make me laugh. That's what I want you to do. Or you make me if you validate me. They don't give a shit about like becoming better. Even someone like me who I usually give many people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to a lot of stuff, right? And let's say Chris Brown came out right now was like, I'm sorry about being shot of women constantly.

I'm sorry about being ass. I'm like, look, Chris. I like your music. I don't give a fuck about this. I don't believe you. You know, it's, we're thinking about you

who's not a parissocial freak. I understand, but I have a connection with the artist, though. You're not a pariscial freak. But I think, but I think the parasycial freak. You can think past like,

I love this guy. Like, that's like the idea, and I want to say, I go back to Idubs and one of the biggest differences is because really, if he had like somebody,

like, say if I was his handler, I would be like, I understand like you, you know how a lawyer would be like I understand this is how you want to go about it don't fucking do it this way because not only if you want to just move past all of the edgy shit and all that stuff don't even acknowledge those pieces of shit before just leave them in the past don't insult them because he became a locale to them oh you acknowledged us oh you eat like like like like like like we're the plurables I don't know

what type of language you use but I'm just saying it as an example so they lashed on to that and then he fed them even more with the that uh uh kino casino they're the ones that would make fun of Ethan Routh that I would watch the Ethan Roth clips through them. Yeah, yeah. He acknowledged them in a lengthy video and they fucking had like a, you know, they wore suits and a, but what I'm saying

is if you use somebody like say, PewDie Pye who people considered edgy even though he wasn't really, you know what I mean? He just, oh, some of the jokes he made sometimes were a little crash. Oh, big fucking deal. Yeah, out of like the thousands of videos that he made. Yeah. There's like maybe like three.

There's barely anything. Yeah. But he was just like, I don't want to be anywhere associated with that anymore and he just completely just I think I think that is a that is the best way to do it right I think the best way is like you got to you act by do it you just do it yeah you don't you don't you know for for me personally you know how I feel genuinely is that like I just I don't think your audience uh regardless of who it is I don't think your audience really even has a right to get to know you that personally sure I believe that like if you're feeling however you're like If you want to express yourself that way, like, fine. But like, the way that I would have gone about it is like, oh, I don't want to do that stuff anymore.

I'll just do other things. You just do other things. And then, you know, that'll come out and then people will feel how they feel about it. And I'm not going to address. And I'm not going to address. You know, I think he thought that would be cathartic for him to express it properly. Sure. Maybe so.

Maybe so. Maybe so. My thing is. There's a lot of things that I think it would be cathartic that I know that I should not do. Right. You know, obviously. But it would vary. You know, like for me, it's like.

And also just like, again, like I was saying, not to cut you off again, but like I just, again, I just feel like we're so, even when that, back when that happened, we were past, we're so past the point. So what happened? You can just be like, hey, this is how I feel, guys. I would say, I would say. Right. I think, I think atoning is like something I appreciate doing. Like when I do something wrong, I really think for me, the best thing ever is to apologize about it. That's how I work.

So what happened is that, like, for me, I would say I'm sorry. But he apologized for stuff that he didn't even do. No, I apologize for stuff that I did. somehow. Like, you remember that when Francesca Ramsey kind of came after him? He was like, he didn't do anything about you. I don't think he did anything. I swear to God.

It's never been sourced. It's never been cited. I've never seen it. I've looked into it. And so I'm like, I don't know, man. Like, hey, I apologize. I mean, I did some stuff. I would keep it really short and sweet.

I'd be like, hey, X, Y, Z happened, and I'm sorry about that. I, as I've grown, I know that I should have handled myself a different way. And I'm not a fan on what I was before. And then I would just cut it. And I think that's what guys. Because for me, it's like if I'm apologizing, I feel like I need to apologize, I'll get it out there. You don't have to accept it. You can accept it.

I think you can vocalize it in ways that are like pretty understandable universally. You can be like, hey, listen, people are, look, I know I make a certain kind of content that's like edgy or whatever. People are coming up to me on the street, like shouting the N-word. I don't think that's cool. Yeah. It's kind of annoying. And I don't really want to cultivate that kind of thing anymore. I'm going to do other things.

Really. That sentence as I worded it would have gone over way better. I think that works. There were certain people that. Because I think that's a reasonable, dude, like you know for a fact. And I've seen it happen. Like, people come up to him, they shout slurs at him because they think that that's like the way in. And it's like, that would make, that would make anybody be like, I don't want to really, I don't want to continue this.

And I think most people would hear that and they'd be like, yeah, I'm okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's reasonable. I get that. But the other, I remember like say even, like, I thought this was funny. Yeah. In his thing, he apologized to Tanamojo.

And Tanamojo came out and was like. Bro, don't apologize to me. Yeah. I was shitty. Like, where are you apologizing for? You were making fun of these people in the first place for reasons. Yeah. And the reasons are that they're not, you know, I don't know.

Yeah, he wasn't just going out of his way. He picked good targets. He wasn't just going out of his way to be a piece of trash, like, like, Leafy, for example. It was actually, anyone can get it with Leafy. There was a, that fucking Russian kid that was just singing songs or something. Oh, yeah, that child. Yeah. And there were a lot of people in our community doing that.

You remember, what was it, Milo Stewart or whatever? Like that kid. The trans man, trans boy. I don't know, whatever. I don't know how old that most of it was. And I remember like people would make videos every day on this person. I remember, I never made one because I just down. Fuck no.

I didn't make, well, what the? Oh, what does she do? What is he? What are they doing? It's a kid. They're doing nothing. They didn't do anything. It's cringe or whatever.

Like I don't even know if that's true. I don't remember really even looking into it. But like if something's cring as a kid, like, I don't know, man. It's a child. I couldn't care less. There was many things. I got so upset and make a video about that. I got so upset when there was a trans woman that made a video about like justifying.

It was when the, it was like when people were calling everyone Nazis and they're like, oh, Nazis are fascists and they want you dead. So defending yourself, fighting them is justifiable. And I'm like, look, if we were all in the room talking and no one was listening, I'd be like, if you beat the shit out of a real Nazi fucking care. But there's people who are going to be even like, oh, have the McLemore haircut. might get their ass beat. And I'm like, we shouldn't perpetuate that.

I was talking about that. I made a video about this. And I saw it in the comments, why are you calling her she? And I was like, what is this? Like this is when I started to know. That's not real people though. Exactly.

But that's why I was starting to get to a point where I'm like, I don't know what's going on. I think I'm going to start backing away from this shit. What happens is? What happens is, dude, they got co-opted. Corporations got involved with the progressive movement. Yeah, BuzzFeed.

And then what happens is that I'm sure people got co-opted where they, they're like, hey, you, you're on this side, but like, do you really believe that? They saw Obama win twice. Do you really believe that, though? Like, do you, they don't really like gay people or black people or trans people or minorities? My favorite thing. And it's like, no, not really.

You know my favorite? Discord. You know what my favorite thing was? This is still, I think, this still, I think might be my favorite. Although it's, it's definitely runner up for a lot of the things we've seen in the last, like, year or two. but one of my favorite examples of like corporate hypocrisy at least before it was brazen right before it was like in front of your face and obvious

was like all the companies that were like that were talking about the pay gap or whatever oh right right they were like do it all the all the companies they were like we should you know women should be paid the same and I remember thinking like are you are you not doing that because if you know what I mean because if you're making if you as a company are doing the stance of like

companies should be paying women the same you're doing it that you're acknowledging you're doing it you're either suggesting that you are you're doing it because you're on that side therefore the issue is not real or you know that other corporations are doing you're not paying them equal

and you want to seem like you are because you understand that it's a real thing but you're not willing to actually pay that was one of my favorite like I saw that and I was like, this is awesome. I love those conversations. What are you saying when you say this? It's so problematic.

And they purposely got the worst people to talk about shit like that, man. They purposely got the people that would be like, oh. They saw Obama win twice. I wouldn't even say it was the- And they thought that everything was going in that direction. So they're like, would swing even harder. And then they just completely missed the point. Because I wouldn't say it purposefully.

It was more of a- They did. So this is my angle. In my opinion, it's not purposely. They got the person with the resume. The fucking psycho- psychopath jumped at the opportunity like they do in positions of power. That's what they do.

Think about any side of the aisle. The crazy psychopath, the manager is a cunt because they want to control people. They want to be strong. So in the same progressive movement, they got these faux people who were like, oh, yeah, I care so deeply and stuff. But what they wanted to do, they're going to need a sarcasm with a perfect example. That's what I think. I think what I'm saying is also true about that at the same time, though.

I just don't think the corporations are thinking in the. way like they're like throw money at progressive thing so we seem progressive they didn't handpick this fucking monster that's like stupid as fucking that's gonna be really psychotic the problem is that there are clearly people in those fields that were very like even back when when at that time when you guys making videos there were plenty of people that were very intelligent people that were making videos about these things that why didn't they why weren't they given the bad they're not jumping at the are you listening to me but i'm sure but i'm sure no but i understand like And you do you want to be a manager at a fucking place?

Exactly. But the fucking crazy fuck does. Yeah. Like that's the thing. It's like they're jumping at the opportunity. I don't jump at those opportunities. You don't, we don't. We don't do it.

I think, I think that's the way that things fail. I think people, I think people would good heart to like, the good heart is going to do it. That's exactly how we wish. The system that's set up is kind of self-mutalating. Do you think Bernie Sanders wanted to be president?

I think you took decades to finally fucking run in his 70s. No, he was like, fuck. No one else is going to do it. I have to do it. If he wanted to be present, he would have ran when he was like a kid. He would have,

when he was a kid in 1840. See? Prior to Hitler's fucking arise and death, Bernie Sanders was like, all right, throw me in there. Throw me in there. Speaking with a fucking 1970s and fucking Brooklyn accent.

Look, man. He's a child. He's a child. He's little. He's really small. I'm running for president, sister. Someone has to put him on the podium. He has to help get climbed up there.

And he's like, thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. I am child Bernie Sanders. I'm child. Like if there's any other version of him. Like if there's a pretense. If you, that's a mark of a scary child.

If a child's, if you have a kid, right, what would you name your kid? I don't know. Just give a hypothetical name. Bryce? Bryce. Terrible name. I don't know. All right.

I have a friend named Bryce. Bryce is a mixed race name you can think of. Bryce is a mixed race name actually. Your son Bryce is. I think it is. Your son Bryce is nine. Your son Bryce is nine years old. He walks in the living room.

And he goes like, Hi, dad. I'm child Bryce. That's a skin walker because why is he saying I am Bryce? Skinwalker. I guess why is he introducing you? Skinwalker. I guess.

It's like, why are you? I, I named you. I know what your name is. Would you punch him out? I would be convinced him. I would examine it. I would just examine it for a little bit.

Examine the same. Just kind of like glaze over and kind of like stare. You're like, are you hungry? For food? Always. For food yes. He's like,

oh. Shifty. Yes. For food. Just fucking. Just fine. Into the back and head. You just knocked out your kid.

You just gave your actual child brain trauma. He just went in there and watched the dumb YouTube. video. His people's go left and then they come back from the right side. Oh my God. Like the numbers and slots? Yeah, exactly. See, on the 1% chance that like it is just your kid,

something doing crazy insane tricks, I would. Tricks. Tricks, Derek. That's a trick, Derek. What else would it be if it actually was your kid and not like some monster or Skinwalker or whatever? I understand what you're saying. But for you to call it a trick, feel super, super.

How super disrespectful to the severity situation. I'm like Mr. Satan. I don't understand. So it's a trick. It's all tricks. But that's not. Derek, your kid,

even being able to do that, that's not a trick. That's an ability. That's not a trick. Doing a trick on a skateboard is like doing a heel flip. Picking up the skateboard and flying is not. But you're only saying that because you're, you've seen kick flips.

You haven't seen a kid move as, Pupils to the left and come to the right Once that becomes a bit more popular I'll state that a That's a trick that kids can do But as of right now That's a fucking ability You're telling me if Tony Hawk

Did like a fucking I don't know a 900 or something In front of a Salem Witch judge I think That way he wouldn't That Salem witch judge Would be like you'll kill him

I think they can conceptualize it Because I think they see him going down something, then up, something, then around, then up something over and over again. But I think, but I do think. Before he lands and he's in a noose. Like he's flipping. They're in a noose and on fire already.

They're really good at their jobs, dude. He says this, but like, do you know why they even hung witches in the first place? You can do math. You can do math. A woman doing math is way less crazy than fucking Tony Hawk doing a 900 in the fucking whatever. I still agree.

What are you saying? What? Just no communication at all Whatever Have you guys Have you guys seen the thing about two comedians on a bench I have seen that We're going to get to questions after this though

Okay Say what you're going to say There is one I watched it yesterday And I was so blown away By a few of the joke There was one joke Where the guy was like

You ever see the guy that's so retarded It looks like he's on fire I think it's comedians on a bench, right? But that's the name of the account. Yeah. And then there's another one who's like, you know, like a gay man that's so gay he's like looks like he got chromosonal damage in the face. That's good.

See, I don't know. That's crazy. And then I watched the actual episode. There's one moment where it's like if God was real, right? Only white people would have disabled children, right? Because I remember there is this nicely family I knew that that kid with their kid was just a full-blown real. retard and I saw that

shit and I was watching next to the way while she was working and Lily threw up from laughing. No she didn't I don't know call her right now call her right now I want to verify this I've never thrown up laughing you've never thrown up laughing before? No I've never

thrown up from laughing no what I don't think that's a normal thing Kingston I really don't think yes you've never had blood coming out of your mouth when you're laughing you don't shit blood what do you You never thrown up from laughing. You never laughed so hard that you almost, you've thrown up. No, I've thrown up from being ill.

You're lying. And I've laughed really hard. I've laughed so hard that it hurts. I can probably count the amount of times I thrown up as an adult. So now. Really? How many times do you have been allowed? As an adult, probably like three times.

Yeah, not a lot. Definitely more than that for me. Not a lot. I hate throwing up with all my heart. I used to hate it. He used to scare the shit of me. Now it's like, all right, it's happening. I wish.

Benjamin buttoned it. I used to throw up as a kid like projectile and it was fun. It was fun. I had too much spaghetti. Blam! You're a brutalist. You're a monster. Dude, now it feels like the Hulk's punching my balls when I throw up.

Your testicles shrink in when they're heaving so hard. His sack closes so hard. They hurt when they make contact. Like those fucking bad. You're like, oh! No joke. This is how fucking traumatizing was. 2010.

Food poisoning. fucking chili from my friend's house or something I don't know what the fuck it was Friends house is pretty rough I'm at my aunt's house I'm under toilet it hurts so bad

First I break up profusely sweating immediately Flash off Close off instantly And then That's you know it's over The moment you go into the bathroom You're taking the shit

You're like man You take the shirt off The shirt coming up Lily's seen that She's like what are you doing it I'm just like this in the bathroom You're in the bathroom just in a few position

That's great Like you try to avoid Pompeii. It's like the fucking SCP, the smiling guy, where he's just in the corner covered up trying to shit. As hard as he possibly can. You ever seen somebody like, you know, something so painful? Like they pound and they, you know, like, oh, so I've never done that except for that day. He was turning it to an ape. I was hurting that.

I've never been, here's another thing. I've never been squarely kicked or punched on the balls because I'm like, you do that. I'm going to murder you. You know, like, it's happened and it's insane. I've had a basketball, you know, tap me. I had a phone book accidentally fall in my lap, you know, like that unfortunate events, but never full blown. So I imagine that was more like what full contact like, it hurts so bad that I was pounding. I was pounding the toilet.

I was so fucking faged. You're getting sharper and this mouth was getting rounder. I have definitely been in so much pain that I have let out like a, who. Like I've reverted a little bit. When I get hit in the balls, the last time happened to me and little bit playing around and shit me in the balls, and I started laughing because my body was in so much pain that I was like, oh, what's the best way to relieve pain from yourself right now? Dude.

Laugh and loosen up your body. He turned it to the Joker. I was literally, I was, I was, I had been kicked in the balls. My smile was touching my eyelids. The island. I was like, dude, I was laughing. aren't you? She was like, are you okay?

And I was like, no, I've been a lot of pain. I've been a lot of pain. Help. And I was laughing. That's what the COVID vaccine. I know the new scumbag line for you. What? We're going to get that Joker fucking version of you.

I want to get that smile all the way up to your eyelids. And then, you know, you're going to look like Joker. But it's still going to, I don't know if it should say scumbag or should say like something different this time. It should be a different thing. It should be the F word. It should be, we'll figure it out. I'm, okay, we'll make one special edition for you.

Yes. And then you wear it on. And then I'm going to have somebody make that again. I'm like, hey, can you make a lot of these? And then you make it. Can you make a lot of these? I'm going to copy the image.

But hey, can you put this one, hoodies, sweatshirts, condoms, fucking, fucking, fucking, beanies, fucking everything. I want some coach bags with it and we get a tote bag. I get some suitcases. I can't believe we don't have a Joker version of you. That's, I feel like that would. I'm not the Joker.

You're the one that did the Joker bit. Yeah, who cares of it? You're the jokes. Yeah, but it's, you're the one that has the marketable face. So you, not no more. He's got that scar He does have to explain it

Yeah, that is like my nephew A baby A baby scratched me A baby scratched me You can play scar now Isn't it look really bad when I get my shave And it's gonna just like You just got a fucking big ass scar

You're soft-ass face You're like white in that one section Your small Your smooth face has one scar on it You look stupid Is that at the beginning of Vidaligo Is that having a scar? Yeah no like that you think it's a scar

But it was actually just Crazy He touched him in a space And he has beenelago now You come next week Is it Vidalago or Vittalago? Vittalago. I thought it was I've seen it like with eyes

I thought it was Vidaligo I think you're right I thought too I could be completely wrong too We have to make sure Who gives your shit I guess I really don't care of those but also When Niggas become white That's what

Now that it's when Niggas become That's one of them Dalmatians I've seen I've seen a guy do Within a year time I think we'll say move before And it's like, that's crazy. Moo.

Nigger move. Have you seen that video? The kid? I haven't seen that. This was like Call of Duty or something. There's like a grenade's thrown and they're on the escalator. I don't know if it's like the mall and one over two. That sounds like terminal.

And he's like, yeah, it seems like the terminal. And he turns around a run. And he's trying to get out of the way. And then the dude's in the way. And he's like, nigger moo. Oh, I have to. And like everyone just puts niggam moo. That's.

I think I keep seeing now is like, like that guy who's like, uh, white N-words, dog N-WRour. Oh, that's classic. That's classic. The fucking is it. It's a hotline. It's, I don't know if it's college. That's not college humor.

That's probably too vulgar for college. No way. It's that old, though. Community college humor. That's crazy. Listen, yeah, because they can't, the college humor would never say. Old college humor was wild. It was definitely way wilder.

You ever see racist Zordon? No. So that's college humor. There's a racist zord. It started circulating on Instagram. It started circulating on Instagram. It was like, people are finding.

YouTube and it's making me happy. Old college humor was great. Well, they had, didn't they have one there was like, the snigger was, have you seen that one? No, they get, they get really close. It's people from college humor. Yeah, no, it's what you call it? Dropouts? Is it dropouts?

I think it's, no, I think dropouts happen later. Dropout is safer probably. I would imagine the college humor is what they are now. Right. Dropout is right. Old college humor was crazy. Like it was like, hey there, friend, why do you snigger? I snigger from all the niggling chiggers

That's great That's the video It's all eyes There's a few of them Vitealago It's all eyes Oh okay so eyes Yeah it's all eyes

I wanted to make sure It's an easy way to remember For a Vidalgo community Yeah yeah yeah There's a few of them In that one It's like they just said the N word They carried on the S

and they stopped at the best moment And they said the N word And I think that's fucking hilarious What did I just send in the chat I think the idea Of dancing around it is funny to me It's like you just come on Just say it

What was that catch name? Doing a fucking like Dagger Dagger That's that's it But the way the video starts, it's so crazy. It doesn't sound right. And I'm like, wait, but the A's still, because I was like, oh, it got cut off, but I'm like,

but shouldn't it be agger? It should be. That's what I was like, wait a minute. I'm not so sure about this. I sent that video to a bunch of my friends and they were like, he just said the N-word at first. He said the N-word at first, he has amazing time at recording. He got the eye.

He saw a black guy walk by. And then as he recorded. Playing with his cat-a-vis. All right, all right. We're going to move on to some questions for our patrons over at patreon.com slash the NARC tank. Remember, you could go over there. Ask us a quick. Aga-Q-Q-Guegg-Geggugin.

Agag-Geggagin. Ag-Gleggis. Ag-Gu-A-Wig-G-E. Have you seen the video of Trump just like, like... Yes. Why? Just doing sound? Please say it.

I think I might have saved it because I was like, is this real? Oh, play it. Play it. Let me play this for you. This is real footage. Dude, he's gone. He was making fun of fucking Biden. Was he?

He was making fun of Biden having cancer. And it's like, I don't think so. I don't know the context at all. And the whole room was like, my niggas, stop. This is the craziest audio I've ever heard. Ladies and gentlemen. He was making fun of Biden. His energy is so fucked now.

Yeah, he's dead. Because he knows. I was like, oh, here we go. Yippy, yippee. What about that? That he got up out of his seat. To look at nothing? What the fuck was that?

Because he fucking got the match and he's dying. Some people thought like he shit his pants or something and he wanted to like get away for the mic or something. Because like why did he just? Wait a second. And then he gets up so. I've never seen him get up that fast before. Yeah.

Wait a second. A 15 year old. Hey, oh 15. I don't know. I don't know. It's too old for me. I love a mill. He runs after him.

He turns. 15 year old. I love a bill. He turns a little. He turns. Rubio? Yeah, isn't that right? Epstein? He's like, I miss you, Jeff. I miss you. You're good seeing you. Sorry, that's a good joke. What the fuck could he possibly be looking at, by the way? Because he gets up in that room and he's like, I got to see this for myself. And it's like,

you can't possibly see anything that you haven't seen before. It's outside, like, wow. I've never seen this outside before. I've never seen dark quite like this. I actually was thinking about it. I was like, I think I'm going to make multiple videos because people have the screen screen of it. So you can just like replace, you know, what's outside of the windows. Yeah. I saw somebody was like the Eminem clapping its cheeks and shit.

That's the only thing I see now. That fucking Eminem twerking itself. I hate that fucking video. It's so crazy. It is dog shit. I hate the face it had. It's terrible. So I was like, yeah,

which are just replaces with everything, hard R stuff, content. Yeah, whatever. Hard R based content, yeah. Yeah. What's the most hard Rar said in one video on YouTube. Probably you.

The most you said? Crazy. I don't even, I think you're probably up there. You're higher up than you think. I think I'm like, rank, but like not anything crazy. Top 20.

That's insane. It's got to be, I saw a video that deeply upset me was a porn video. It was on, of course, it was on Twitter. It was one of those things where you just like, oh, so much porn on Twitter.

It's ridiculous. And so. We're more than I ever remember there being, actually. This one was like a, only fan error. That's why. Yeah. That is valid.

I don't know what you would call this. It's like a, it's like, it's not a glory hole because it's like a table. I didn't, but it's the same concept. I didn't understand. I think it's still a glory hole.

I guess, yeah, I guess you call it. But like, it's not, with a table. With the table. But like this chick is being filmed under a table.

Black dude's fucking weighing is hanging out of it. And she just calls in the hard art throughout the entire video. I was just like, this is, this, I felt bad. Like I felt. Like I felt. I was,

dude, I had a pussy at the end. I was so turned on. Oh, man, I don't. Dude, I don't understand. Race play is like something I've never understood. That shit makes me feel really uncomfortable. Yeah.

Couldn't be me, dude. I don't know about that. It's crazy. Listen, if you're... I never let that happen. I'm not going to judge you publicly. That's crazy. I don't know.

I'm not going to judge you publicly, but I also... If your partner's willing to do that, I think that says it's not about your partner. Oh, well, sure. It's like, I can't even get Joe to say the hard arm, man. It never, that would ever happen. He never said the hard arm. It really upsets me. Never once.

They won't do it. do it. I was like, hey, I'll buy you a fucking horse or what are they, what are they riding a few times, but she's never, she's spoken to heart A. He's never said it. I may, Joe Do you may have the heart A one time? I don't know. I think I've got her say Negro. And I was like, close. We're getting there. You know, maybe another five years. I can kind of break her. really, yeah. Negro is It's not cool to say, but it's not like. It's definitely as diminutive, but it's like not quite, it's not the hard art. It's not the end of the world. But also, if she was on video and her saying Negro would still be a problem, you know what I mean? Sure.

Yeah. Yeah, it's like that fucking thing you retweet of Lily with the clan fucking hood on, dude. That shit was awesome. That shit was awesome for me. Like, that's fine for me, not her. She's a real person. Naga, nobody's going to see that shit. Until they do.

Until they do. Her name is really attached to her face. If she's fucking Beyonce, who's little they're going to like. Her name is attached to her, like her working one. I understand that. I look at it. Like, that's why it was taken down with no.

Yeah, yeah. There was no. It was funny though. It was funny. It was funny. The general idea, though, like, I get it. I get it. The general idea is like if they're not around to consent to the joke and they're not like a part of the show.

It's, it is unfair to them. Throw me. Throw me in Clan outfits left and right. Put me in the SS stuff. We have. Here's my. Oh. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's somehow on Instagram where I can't see it.

Where I go on and I look and I'm like, that's crazy. People, I'm getting like, they're saying they love this post on me. I can't find the exact post. I don't know what's going on. Is this you in a Nazi regalia? It's fucking preem. It's like you're a black and white cookie, but like it's like half Nazi, half a KKK. That's badass.

That's crazy. There's another merch line. Two, two race. No. No. It makes sense. The two state solution, but it's just me being a Nazi and a Klanz member. Yeah, but it's like a two-faced thing.

It's like vertical down the middle. Yeah. It's got like half a, half a hood. Two races. Like a normal Nazi half. I still can't believe I thought that they were fucking ninjas from Power Rangers. That's very, I very much can. That's adorable.

That's very, it's very being a good kid and being like, I don't understand racism. I'm from New York City. I'm throwing fireballs out my window. One of my favorite things I ever did was- I'm trying to hudoket people. You know, though, so the White Ranger has a theme song, right? And it's like, White Ranger, Tiger, Power. One of our favorite things I ever did was just cut out all the middle shit.

White power. White power. My favorite. And then, dude, sometimes they just do Nazi salutes. Like, they'll do their, and then they'll, like, go.

And they're, they never, they never, they never go from the chest. They always go out with it. They do the, they do the, and I'm like,

yo. And so I got, I got some, but I feel like Tommy never did it, though, on purpose. I feel like they purposely made Tommy reach forward.

Well, it was the, uh, he would always reach forward. He's fucking down a little bit too. I had a friend a long time ago, who was, he would be in charge of bringing the cocaine to the parties.

And his special movie, he would always come in and he would shout, he would, he would, he would, he would put in his pocket and he would shout white powder. Oh, nice. He would throw it on the counter. You would pile. White powder. It was crazy. I was like, you really can't be doing that. It's not a cool thing to be doing.

That's a Nazi Coke dealer. White powder. That doesn't sound crazy at all. I guess it doesn't. That's common, I feel like. I would say it would be more mess. More coke. Yeah, user.

Yeah. Party supplier. Methastafis. You got to fight a demon that's a meth addict. That's a badass name. Let's get into these questions. Let's try and speed it up. The void that Cash Patel stared into.

Do you see the John Dan Bogino's back doing podcast? Yeah, I heard his like fans I hate him or something. Yeah, why? Of course. Your whole personality and the whole podcast was based on like hating the Fed and you just quit the Fed. Release the Epstein files. Yeah, and then you didn't do it and you quit and now you're back to it.

That would be, that's actually crazy. Yeah. And imagine how shitty you have to be to get like, to be, you don't have to do anything anyway, you know? So it's like, what happened? What was so bad that he left? Imagine being so stupid that you, you watch Dan Bonino's podcast now and you're like, glad to have you back. I love you. I mean, hey.

I love how you didn't do anything that you said you were going to do and how you backtracked on everything. and now you're back, backtracking on the backtracks. So you got, remember the guy that said, you got this pearl, you know what I'm saying?

Anything's possible. Anything's possible. You could, just pearly things has fans. That is, hell. It's so scary. I hope he sits in acid one day.

The person does this fucking cheer now, Pearl, he just sits on there. He sits back down, he stands up, you got this, he sits, starts to dissolve in his chair.

Those words, if you do say you got this pearl, but you genuinely mean it, will dissolve you. You have 10 seconds to be alive. You have 10 seconds to be alive. Like a snail in salt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shit's crazy to watch, man. I hate that. I hate to see people do that.

It's crazy that that's a thing that can happen, though, really. It is pretty much water. Like, what a fucking stupid weakness? It's really insane that some things can do really cool things. Some things just kind of die from nothing. Like there's like electric eos that can like produce like a noticeable electrical charge and there's dodo birds that jumped off waterfalls and died. You know, it's like don't know birds would just jump off waterfalls and kill themselves. Yeah.

And it's like what? I want a shoe bill. I want to shoe bill birds. I think you think you want to. Oh, the ones that sound like machine guns. The ones that don't move for like an hour and a half and then attack you. They're fucking badass dude. They're raptor feet.

Do you think that we invented machine guns because we were inspired by the shoe bill? Yes. We were like, I want something that makes that. that sound. That's exactly what it was. They had regular handguns, you know, and then, like, they just didn't even think to make it automatic until they saw a bird.

Oh, what if a hole? Eureka. Brain blast. One of that's running away in the forest from one of them. Like, fucking run away trying to survive. And he's like, wait a minute. Wait a minute. If I make it a civilization, I'll bring something.

That wasn't been startling as fuck for, like, a fucking cave person, though. I think they would say, I thought they didn't have time to understand that shit. I feel like after we made like town, we started to be like, oh, shit, there are really nightmares out there. We've seen them. Yeah. We've seen horrible creatures. Well, anyway, the void that Cash Fetel stared into,

wrote and he says, hello, Machop, Machoke, and Machamp. Are this the Pokemon? Yeah. Those are the wrestler ones, right? Mm-hmm. The ones with arms. Yeah. He says, Listener since the cringe atheist days here.

Creege atheists. 2010. Good stuff. And adding to the concerning job, of the viewers by working in intelligence. What does that mean? I think he just wants to keep it as that. You know exactly what that means.

Be more specific, bud. I got your email. That's crazy. I'll track you. He says, my question is, who do you think is first off on the chopping block in the White House and for what reason?

The fat man from necrotic damage, Pam, from having your lips fully recede into her face, or I look forward to your suggestions, and thank you for not steering me down a right-wing pipeline. I tried, man. I did my best to steer you down the right wing pipeline

But you were too smart You were too smart You saw through all my tricks and schemes Hmm Yeah You missed my collabs with Richard Spencer Yeah My collabs with

Who else was a I don't know I don't remember Tommy Robinson The British fuck Black Pigeon speaks Was that guy I forgot about that guy

That guy was crazy Holy shit I forgot about He was I think I'm misremembering Because did you have plague mask or am I thinking of something else? I think so, yeah, I think it was like a plague mask Everybody had all those people They had something.

Like I saw something recently Some dude responding to me and he had you It was like a fucking deer or something At a suit and I'm like, oh man Pondering Lama ass fucking So lame They're all they call them the skeptic clones Yeah exactly

Fucking embarrassing But um No I mean Chopping block in what context As far as like who's, I think, I think Trump's on death door first. I think Trump's on death door. Yeah, who's going to like, yeah. Yeah, I didn't know if they meant.

The moment he's not in office and he's not probably getting fucking Eugenicrome shot into his dickhole every day, he's done. He's going to, like, he's, the midterms are going to happen. Hopefully there's going to be a blue wave. And then as soon as they're done, they're going to turn to him with glowing like. There already is a blue wave. The issue is whether or not they'll let that happen. Yeah. Which is like, that's kind of up in the air.

Like, there's people who think that's kind of alarmist. And it's like, you're fucking not, you're retarded. At this point to say that? It's alarmist. Brother, they're shooting people in the face. Trump's trying to... What are you saying? Take over Greenland.

Yeah. Like, oh, don't be alarmist. Look, I get it. I got it back when it was... Oh, BuzzFeed was making manspreading videos. You know what I mean? Like, I get... Like, it's a reasonable point where you could have said that.

Now is not the time. Yeah. Like, it's pretty clear that Trump is a crazy person. Yeah, he says that, like, he only follows his morality, which he doesn't have any, so it's kind of crazy. He doesn't have morals.

He just does what he will. They're like literally stormtroopers. I killed my wife, but who cares? He talks about that. It's so weird. There's literally stormtroopers. How the fuck that, man, I knew we,

before the podcast started, I was like, why am I even talking about this because people were convinced that mask don't work? Like to me, that's like two, because you know, like a five-year-old,

I think a five-year-old would question you if you try to tell them they don't work. But they do. They help. They help cover you tell me to cover my mouth when I sneeze and cough. It's the same principle. Yeah, what's their argument for that, by the way? What's their argument for when their kids cough all over their fucking family?

And they're like, hey, cough into your arm. But don't wear masks. Like, what do you fucking say? It is like they're so. Literally cover your mouth. So I'm like, what am I even? What am I doing? Why am I?

Why are? So, because I was going to say like the people. Why are you surprised? Yeah, it's like so I don't know The blue look at that stare What do you do? Look at that stare That's how I feel all the time

I do now I'm I don't know man I gotta get the power of a god man It just has to be me You think so? Why are you so deserving? Because I know how to kill myself

At the end of you skin That's the reason why I know I know it'd be like Well I guess I got to die right now Well, things are better And then I would just blow my own brains out What if it feels good? What if it feels like what people

describe what heroin feels like? I know I am not I am not somewhat easy To be corrupted by power I know that already I do not I don't like I don't like I just don't like control

Do you think you can Do you think you can override that My want to kill myself That amazing sensation I mean this feels really good You know it would be really awesome Sleeping forever I would get my own

that would be you just rip your head off maybe I would respect that if you can if it was a you know like you you had dopamine coursing through your veins at all times like you feel so good with these newfound powers that's really cool yeah I'm still gonna kill myself you'd be like oh I feel amazing I'm gonna die now whoa I can't I could have this be the end of my life

that it's only my references I think you would have to tell probably like beforehand or if you knew you were going to acquire these powers and you knew what it was going to happen you would have to tell Lily to kill you afterwards because you know what you'd be able to oh how strong would yeah be so strong

no Lily's not Lily's not Lily don't got that you have to do like a Vegeta thing like you have to like blow yourself up yeah yeah inside yeah like just sit your kidney on fire and explode I would just fly away to fly up really high into the sun yeah

hmm what if you do what have you what have you extinguished the sun I would suck I'm like, oh, my back. That's so crazy. It's just a little core or, you know, relative, you know, but like it's, that would be so crazy because then in a few minutes just, it just completely goes black. You're like, what?

And it gets really cold. It gets really cold. Dude, that would be so fucking terrible. All because Kingston didn't want to live with a responsibility. What an asshole. I hate, I hate the idea of that. I hate the idea of that. I hate the idea of the people that would.

do best with power are the ones that will just never get it. It is upsetting. It is really unfortunate. Because they're the only people who wouldn't step on other people to get it. They need to be bullied into doing it, man. It's like I want, I want there to be like, say, a collective thing to bully like a Kyle Kalinsky. It's like, stop being a bitch. You know he need to get involved.

He knows he needs to get involved. He's not going to. I don't think Kyle. I don't think Kyle has the ability to play the politics. I think you need to play politics now. I think he'll kill. I think he will kill when it comes to interact with other. are politicians. I think it was to be really

sad. That's exactly what you need though. Like so they're going to try to play these weasily games and he wouldn't even let it happen. And people would be like, oh, I fucking like this guy. He's like actually legit and his track record is flawless. You know, relative to being like... He would slowly become gold. Yeah. Over time, he'd slowly get more

and more tan to the point. He just goes to a fucking, he does a fucking presidential address and he's just gold. He walks out. He's like... That would be sick as... He actually goals. So he's like, yo, it was good, my niggas. His eyes, his teeth, like everything is gold.

He smiles and someone in the front wails in pain. Oh, stop smiling. Oh, my bad. I really didn't know that he was just in a pale white guy. He's very white. Like, I went back to his original. It's so funny. Oh, Kalinsky.

Oh, okay. That makes sense. Because I was like, why is this? This is so dark. I thought his name was secular talk for a long time. Really? No. Excuse me, Mr.

Talk. I found that. I love your Kyle Kalinski show. I love that character that you made. I love that I love that I found out about Kyle from his old tweets first. That was the first thing. That's funny. And I started looking at him and I was like, this guy is fuck.

First of all, gold mine. Genuine gold mine account. Like old Twitter must have been a beautiful place. Yeah. It was cool. Yeah. It was better than what. Whatever the fuck we got now.

For sure. By a country mile. When I started Twitter, it was like 2016. Back country light year, dude. I think that, yeah, yeah, yeah. 2016 to 20, like, 18, Twitter was really cool. I enjoyed using it a lot. That was like the beginning of the end, though.

Really. Yeah. But then I know, like, my friend, like, 2009 Twitter was like, he was like, yo, this website's great. You know on it. It was fun. It was just. I like, serious and stupid and riffing and it's fun.

I try to plant the seed for Mike Judge to make Ariocacy too. And before it was called liked. He favored it. Because I told him was like, hey, man. You know what? that. Eidocracy, too, the rise of it. You know what you did with that?

What happened? The monkey paw. Oh, and then, yeah. The monkey paw. Okay, here you go. Now we got to live it. Now we got to live it. And it's like, I'll make it.

It's a tripe. Real. It is a trite observation. He did it. We're in an aristocracy. I'm like, yeah, I know. But it is also just kind of accurate. Yeah.

People were saying that, it's worse, actually. People were saying that post because, you know, like, it came out in the middle of Bush, not in the middle, to tailing of Bush's presidency. It actually came out. Really? Yeah. Was that 2000s? Six.

Oh. I thought it was like older for some reason. Oh, and it might be seven, but I'm pretty sure it's six. But it read that time. So people are like, man, this is. And I'm like, no, it's not, he's not saying that's exactly what he's like, this is the future. This is where we're heading. It was like, I'm like, understand what the hell this is.

And then we're here. I would kill for a Camacho. Well, I mean. He's earnestly good. He's dumb and shit, but he's like, not a bad guy. And actual Camacho. So he was the smartest person in the world before Not Sure showed up. Yeah.

Like he's not bad. At least he's dumb, but he's not evil. I'd rather that. I'd rather a good, dumb leader. Dude, like I said, I'd rather, dude. We've got to have that with Jimmy Carter. I would rather have fucking Bush right now. Does that sound fucking awful?

It's like, it is a true thing. Yeah. It is a true thing. I think I'd rather Reagan. It's crazy. It's crazy. I think even Reagan would be like. Actually, I disagree.

Reagan was just a little bit. Reagan was the progener of all this shit. He was too stealth with his shit. I don't like that. Yeah. This, at least. He's like, I hate the Mexican people, but I need the more. Enough of, enough of Trump's base have,

have become disillusioned because of how fucking insane he is. Where if, if he had the swagger of a Reagan and was like, no, we're not doing anything illegal. We're not in a year. Everything's great. If he actually pretended to be like, what that cop did to that woman was wrong. You know, like, he pretended to care. You know, like, because that's what Reagan would have shot her in the fame.

I would not have shut her. What I would have done was I would have made her child have a child with a black person and then incarcerated their whole blood. Oh, is the hot mic still on? Shit. A better thing to do. Nixon, that joke was funny as fuck though.

That shit was funny as fuck. Niggas with no shoes on coming. I can't even, but fucking, man, I really like Kendra-Lamara. I hate it. Well, I would have. Him talking about spread crack all over the car and went

The idea of him talking about hip-hop music is nuts. Man, I got to be real with you. I think Jake Cole really could have held himself in that beef, but he chose not to be involved with it. Smart by him, though. Well, I think Jake Cole is a coward. The way Kendrick ate that nigga Drake's ass, man. Call it Hubba, Bub, but he chewed him up. I'm so proud to have him perform at the Super Bowl.

I'm going to get him in jail somehow. I don't trust me. I'm going to incarcerate that nigga. He hates black people so much, but he loves hip-hop. It speaks to him. Like, he listens to, like, Freddie Gibbs and cries. He's, like, in tears. I can't.

He's like, he's so upset that he's like, I don't understand how these monkeys make such good music. He's moved. He's genuinely to the point where he's crying. He's like, I, like, how do they do this? He's crying. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Land it, let the shit.

No, it's not down. We'll move on. All right. Fuck. All right. Paisos, my nigga, my nigga, pesos. You're a coward. Who says that shit?

What was that going to say, Chris? If I hadn't seen the jungle book, this would have taken me off guard. That's crazy. They make phenomenal films and music. Really breaks your heart. I got to, it breaks your heart of putting crack in their community. He really. Well, it makes me so sad that I had to spread a crack all over him.

He beats Obama King Louis. Very nice to meet it. Completely never built, too. Like you're racist You're like an orangutan He's like No No

I would give you Maybe Maybe a I don't know Maybe a given But certainly not a Certainly not an orangutan Me and this thing

Curious George are going at it And this boy curious George Aregoing at it again An orangutan is more like An orangutan is more like Keso Like Keso

Free? Free Sosa Free Sosa. Free Sosa. Spanish cheese. I was like, my first thought was like,

cheese. Cheese. Cheese. Cheese. Fucking cheese. It's a sign getting a bad pizza. Fucking cheese.

It's all coagulated already. It's fucking, it's not even stringy anymore. He's so bad. It's frozen. It's still stringy and it's like all frozen. He's like,

fucking cheese. That would have been a great meme to me. That would have been a proper good meme. Hassan trying to teach his kid to blow his nose. It's fucking sneeze. This is so good. It's so gay. Hassan really wanting something to happen.

Fucking please, man. Hassan experiencing fall weather for the first time. Fucking leave. He fucking leaves. This is stupid, man. Going to his car when that's been broken. Fucking thieves, man. You won't get this one.

I got another one. You're not going to get this one. I want you to finish this one, Chris. Okay. Hassan using an ancient search engine. I was going to use that one. My fucking jeeps. This is so, we got to move on it.

The real. I love that you thought of it too. Hassan being left the only things with only vest. What? Hassan being left with only vests. Fucking sleeves. That's good. This is dog shit.

Okay. The real key. Someone clip these exactly. This is not happening. Over and over again. Spam this. Like abuse him with this. Yeah.

Until you get banned. I'll make a clip with the with the original video for context. Because it's it without context This is dumb It is dumb with context also But it's a jerk I imagine his whole chat is this For three hours straight

Kills himself You see him get You see him stand up Go to her back in a room Takes a rifle out And it turns to the camera Blams himself And then the dog

Like takes his place Highest me Kaya What the fuck did Israel do now? he knows that dog is right like there's no there's no break there's no break he understood like they talked about this

a long time I was like hey one day I'm not gonna be here Kaya and you're gonna have to take up the throne from me I'm getting weak Hassan hanging Christmas decorations fucking Reeves that's a good one that's a good one not bad

not bad yeah let's see let's go real Keith David I swear Rodney says hello they're fat black and gay I jest I respect the hell out of all three of you that's so funny like the even care liar liar

lies hey this is Keith David so that's good that's true welcome back Keith David yeah welcome back he'd David

long time listen he says long time listener first time asker welcome aboard or I guess you know thanks for asking

finally took you five years uh all this time long what do you think is the funniest bit you've done on the show personally I'd say

disturb the disturbio bit was legit the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life I remember being awesome and gay. I don't remember the bit at all, but I remember...

Disturbio. So it was the... No, we were trying to figure out... The mascot of Disturbed. What is his name? The real name is even dumber than Disturbio, by... It's just the guy. It's the guy.

Which is like, okay. Well, it's terrible. That's stupid as fuck. Disturbio's way better. Disturbio is awesome. It's me Disturbio. I don't know, man. I think pizza when pizza is born is really good.

Pizza time's up there. Pizza time is a very good one. I really kind of, I don't know. Like, I think the funniest bit from the show is probably something that we don't remember because like we probably laughed ourselves into a coma from it. I have one that I think is really funny. You guys are not going to agree. Okay.

I mean the fucking honey bun. The really hot honey one that you fucking, you know, the Twinkie that's cut open that you give somebody to eat after you fucked it. Oh yeah. That's a classic one. That's a classic one. I think that it's always going to be funny because it's so insane. Someone handing you a cut at the bottom honey bun to eat. And it's like out of the package.

Is the bit that it's just full of semen? Yeah. To the brim. To the brim. This episode of the Simpsons where Bart puts the duff can inside the fucking. Oh, that's shaking. The can shaker. I don't remember that.

Yeah, because you know the paint shaker at the like the home? So he puts that beer in the end of one of those things. For like an hour or something like that. And he takes it out and the beers like shifting. And he gives it the home and it blows up. It blows up the house. It blows the roof off the house.

So stupid. I don't know. I actually genuinely haven't seen that. That's a prank that is go so far. And I'm sure he was like, this is probably going to be funny. He's like, oh, I killed my dad. Holy shit, because I play too much. I really like that one.

We were talking about Matthew Broderick for whatever reason. And you say the Go GoGaggett car crash. I love that so much. That's another great one. I just like that because it's just Matthew Broderick. Like, it's just him. And he's about to crash and he says Go Go Go Go Go Golly Carcras before he kills people. He has to use the bit before he dies.

that idea that is so funny to me like in real time go go get to car crash is fun there's that one that are good there's that one there's the um I know what my favorite one is but it's not it's nobody's favorite one I like it because I think like I think about how it

naturally happened but it feels like something that's like written and it's the what am I Ernest Hemingway bit do you remember that one? I don't remember it was like we were going back I can't remember even what the context was maybe the audience knows we definitely have some like historians watch and there's definitely there's people who are going like

there's recent questions from like in episode 1.30 and I'm like, you're, what do you? Are you like going through the entire catalog? I guess so. So there's people who are chronicling, but there's like something where like one of us used like a, like an unusually like eloquent word.

And somebody said like, what do you earn? I can't remember what the bit was. I wish I could remember more specifically. But it's written. It almost feels like it's like written for like a show. And I love it because it was, it was an accident. But it was the one of my Ernest Hemingway.

Shortman. another good one. Short man? Shirt man. Oh, shirt man. What's the Pee We Herman one when he's dead? That was a good one. And what it led to?

Oh, you know what? Your camera freaking out. That is the funniest one. That might be the hardest I've laughed. That was crazy. Oh, God, we got it. We're freaking out with a goat one. The Frankie Muna's Hulk.

Oh, that's actually. That is the P. That's one of the people. That's one of the ones that I'll listen back to. That was the spit take. It was the spick tape. I saw it on the, I saw it on the social

media's Because I was like Oh this needs to be re-shared Because it's like one of the first things that we ever posted And that's I think that's such a magical one That was like the first thing we recorded too That was the first live one yeah

That's the first thing we recorded in person I love when bits work out though Because it kind of happened in the way that The Stranger Things bullshit happens Where they're all feeding it You know it seems so fake But like it happened in that way Where it just kept being like

Oh then this And then this and this, oh, and fucking Scorsese and it was like, let's say, let's say you're this bottle of water and Vecl is this phone. Nigger.

It's like, what the fuck is going on? Thank you, Scorsese. Thank you, Martin. Thank you so much. Winona's like, finally, someone said it. Take it the fuck out of your, bitch. Go steal some more shit.

Stupid bitch. That's crazy. It's so hostile for Winona. Remember what she had. Except it was the season one of Stranger Things. They won the award and she's up on stage. She's like, she's clearly tweaking on something.

She's, she's suited. She's badass. I like Winona Ryder, actually. I love her. Yeah. I still think she's beautiful. She looks great.

She was great, man. She was great. She's been around for a long time. She's great. Yeah. Certain people would do not. Yes. God bless.

Dude, man. Her post, Er, Cedar hands dog, my favorite wife, that's like one of the highest. What did you just say? What you just say?

Her post Edward Edward's his hand's, oh. I did it. White woman. None of those words. I said Edward N, Edward hands at first, and I had to, like,

no. That's a, that's a classic joke. Come on. Oh, it is. He's a white man of black person's hands.

That's it. He's a hummus. He's a black man's hands and he's really good at, like, basketball and football. He's really good at catching and really good at dribbling a basketball. He doesn't have the,

he doesn't have that listism or anything like that. He's just a regular kind of greacher, but he's like white hands. Yeah. You do have white hands. Do you have white hands? Yeah. I mean,

Very white. This is not white. This is tan, if anything. I mean, I mean, it's arguably not that different. My palms are tanner than your skin. And you're not the whitest. You're not the widest of whites. I'm pretty white.

You're pretty fair skin, but you're not the whitest of white. I'm fairly skinned. Like my hands are, my palms are darker than my girlfriend, and she's definitely not white. Who? My girlfriend's definitely not white. And she's like, my hands are darker. My palms are dark in her skin. You're all white, dude.

He still thinks he has a girlfriend. Yeah. That's, that bit too, because it went on so fucking wrong. That was, that was my, that was my, That might be my favorite one that the audience has interacted with because all the photoshop. Like the pictures of you with your girlfriend and them photoshopping her out was peak stuff. Because some of them were really good. Most of them were garbage.

There's one where your arm is fucking stupid long. Do you remember that one? There's one where I turn to talk to Lily when you're a driver going somewhere and it's nothing there. And it's like, so the car's just going by itself and I'm sitting in it. You were in a Waymo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, Lil? and it's just nothing.

And it's creaming. Oh, I see that. Somebody said, wait, what? Oh, that's long. Never mind.

Yeah. I was like, I thought it was, I thought it ended there. No, it's, some of the questions are long. That's very long.

Okay. I was just going to be like, oh, yeah, somebody, what was it, King of Slaps? I'm just going to,

I'm not even, King of Slaps. Listen, we're not going to read the whole thing. I'm sorry, but just acknowledging saying, hey, not a question,

but saying like, I'm a leftist. That's not like a Discord like freak or whatever or whatever it says. And Discord leftist. You do have leftist in your audience, but I'm not a Discord leftist. Yeah. It was a funny statement. Yeah.

And I just like, Oh, they're definitely different for sure. I just wanted like somebody, you know, saying that. I'm like, hey, I appreciate you writing in because, you know, I did say like, oh, I'd be surprised. But like, hey. Yeah. I mean, we're, we're leftist, though.

Like, that's a thing. Like, we're like. Fundamentally, I suppose. Yeah. I think, like, I'm a little, I'm a little further on the side. I think I'm like, I'm nearing a radical side. But, like, I'm definitely a leftist person. Like, I believe in leftist politics entirely.

Right. It's like in the way, though, like, say, even though I don't call myself an atheist, I am an atheist, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? I'm not a atheist, but I was raised Christian. And that's why I'm not atheist. I'm just agnostic. I, some of.

You're agnostic? Yeah. I think some of the Christian values I've absorbed. You know what agnosticism is? Yeah. I know what the modern version of is. I don't know what the ancient version of monastic. Because I know there's differences.

Oh, nobody goes by the ancient, whatever the fun. There's a divergent point. There's a divergent point. There's no reason to go by the Asian because it's not like dogmatic. Yeah, exactly. But like I, yeah, agnostic is just like you don't know. Yeah. You're fine with that.

I don't know and I don't claim to know. And I think that's fine. But I do think I don't, I do think I do believe in metaphysics to a degree. So I think it's like there's truth to that. I believe anything's possible. I do. Here's one thing I don't, I know for sure that book, the books don't. The books don't mean shit.

No. I don't believe in deities. Like so I'm an atheist. I don't believe it. I want to believe in the 80s, but like, cool ones. I do you. it'd be cool as fuck if there was like an alien god somewhere that would be, I'm down.

To me it's like, I just don't think we would know anything about it. It's just like Thor, like, Thor's not a god. You know what I mean? Yeah, he's just, like, it's in the same way. He's just sick. So like if it was an alien that was like, thunder. Like if it was an alien being like,

and it could throw lightning or something, like, yeah, I get it. Asgardians are aliens. People don't talk about that enough, but like they're literally, they're extra dimensional aliens. Aliens have like as guardians. Yeah.

That's an alien. It's unfortunate somehow it's a white man. Wait, what? Like, that's the only, Like the biggest difference is they come down to the spaceship. How big are their penises, though? And then you see, so check it out. So you know some of my mods that you see.

That's not even useful penis size, though. But check it out, though. But that's the only difference. So, like, they come down and you see, like, an alien steps off this has chucks on. As a, yo. Chuck Taylor's on. Chuck Taylor's jorts. A fucking plain white tea.

A plain white T's white T's white T's white T's white T. I play my T's white T tucked in Tucked in and the fattest Cock ever Yeah, through the zipper So through the one thing that they The only difference is that they don't Hide their genitals

Yeah, yeah, yeah They display them in fact And because the display, it helped It gave it room to grow Yeah, it was like a pig Like a pig They shake each other's penis When they greet each other's like nice to meet you

Nice to meet you Nice Nice That is so great What about the female What would the females have? They have massive clits. Yep.

Just as long, it looks like a like like a one inch penis. You know, like like like flaccid and one inch dick. I'm talking like they look like they look like. Okay. This gigantic. That's okay.

This bulbous. I mean, we're in fantasy land. Of course. I'm not fucking any of these. They shake their clits. Yeah. I'm not fucking any of these.

Like wow. I'm not fucking any of these things. How disappointed would you be like that? They traveled. They figured out like like like a like how to bend space and time to get here quickly and. stuff and then they're just like that's it. They're sitting in the cockpit and the

dicks are like in front of their faces. They actively have to move aside. Share us the knowledge. They're like that guy with like the one trap. Oh my god. They've evolved so they could so they could sit comfortably and look past their own penises.

Crooked man. So they have one large trap and large penises. And a large penis that sticks vertically up. Their body shifts to the side kind of that's crazy. alien. That's it. The alien puts his dick under a car and then he

freaking cranks it up. The lift it for you. He can change your fucking tire. And you're like, thank you, I guess. I think I'm okay just doing this myself, actually.

He's like, he needs help though. He's doing it effortlessly. Just, hey, guys, so you made it here. Could you share your,

your, your technology of how to travel and bend time? Well, we stole it. Yeah, got you. Yeah, I got you.

And then you know, and then you know. I'm learning. It's getting my brain. You actually know. Be, He comes on your face and it shares knowledge. Would you let that happen?

He's homophobic. Look at him. Look at him. Look, he's staggering. It wouldn't benefit me to know. You know more about the world. You become a human intelligent? Would you come on a scientist? And so then they can actually do something with this knowledge?

You don't want to learn more? What am I? He said, we got to come on you, Derek. I'm not going to be able to relay that information. Derek, we got a boot on. I don't know what I just learned. You learned it, though. And this is like if one of us got sent back in time to like 1910.

And it was not useful. And I had to like invent a phone or something. Yeah. Like I had to invent a phone. No, I'm fucking useless. I don't know. What do you do? Boil sand until it's a chip?

I don't know. I don't know how any of this shit works. They send me back to the past. They expect me to help free the slaves. And I'm like, bro, are you serious? Oh, fuck. No. We're just not going to get freed in this time.

I'm like, thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. I don't want to build the computer. Which? No, yeah. Useless. Give it. Come on a scientist's face.

But why? They'd be like, we have to come on you, Derek. We all have to come on you. They got a Bukaki you And I'll tell them that's so crazy I'm like hey, why me because it's a waste? You're gonna tell me something

that I don't understand at all. We came from space and through our positive coming here. We knew we had to come for a few some outs on you, Derek. Here's a picture of you in their fucking cockpit and they're like, oh, this is going to be the guy

is going to save the universe. It's the fucking RIP Marcus. They somehow got it. They somehow like, this is you Derek. And he points you with his penis. Marcus. This is you.

You. We must come on you. Marcus. It's like, that's not my name. It's like, yes, it is.

The shirt says. It may not be your name, but it is you. There is no such thing as a lie in our universe. Right. It's like that fucking Grieger Face movie. The fucking invention of lying or whatever is like they've never lied before. Which means they're telling the truth to you.

And they're like, they have to come on you. Oh, man. I don't know how to explain this to you. And then they just start busting too late. They immediately just start slinking rolling. You slip down fall. There's no coming on.

There's a point where you're... People are not being able to explain things. Turns me on. Literally, there's a moment where... There's a moment where you're just like... Like, you're cornered by all the come. And you're to catch out. You're like...

I know a lot. It's like Spider-Rae when he does the web shield. Yes. He just covers... Dude, they pack up and leave immediately. And I can't tell. Like, what do I tell people? You're in a cum coon, basically.

Dude, I'm covered in... They have to chisel him out. They have to... I know things that I can't really explain. This guy with a penis up to his face, Chuck Taylor's White Tee. Play White T's T's two chub tucked into his jorts with tube socks came on me and now I understand how to get to space. This cop's like, hmm, seems like Marcus has finally gone crazy. And they just immediately put me in the back of a wagon.

They just shoot you. They didn't even get away. They get him out of a Kukoon. Instead of like investigating it, they're like, investigating it. They're like, come coon. Boom. They're like at each other. Do you really want to do paperwork right now?

Then they just fucking. You already shot. You already shot and killed. Yeah. You're a baby, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. They just throw. There's a fire grenade there for some reason. Let's just say ice did it so nobody has to answer for it.

They put on a mask and just, wait, wait, wait, wait, just blah. All right, we're good. Oh, man. Marcus was a domestic terrorist. He was a domestic terrorist. He got Kainboan. I heard a lot. There was so much.

More than I did. Venezuelan come all over him. He was a sexual deviant. They found him covered in semen like a criminal. He deserved to die. Oh, would you look at that? There's more semen out there. Let me go.

Take a look. Let me look at that. Wow. Wow. What did he say at the end of that clip? I don't know. He's like, yeah. All right.

I can't remember what he said because it's so, it doesn't matter. Like he was getting out the demons before he's like, okay, now I can speak. Holy shit, yeah, there's still a fucking outage for Verizon. That's fucking crazy. What? Yeah, it's a huge Verizon outage.

Are there those- My phone was on SOS. Oh, wow. It's time to go on T-Mobile. What is, uh, oh, it was on Twitter. No, that's a, uh,

it sounds so crazy. Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen That is such a crazy I need the context What is that? You almost sounds like you're trying to do Like impersonating him

Sounds more like impersonating Like a really slow Sebastian Menascalco now Ladies and gentlemen I actually do you like him What are you doing? What? Do you like him? I mean kind of like I get it

Like I think he does a good job Performing and kind of keeping the energy up Yeah I don't think I don't think I've heard a joke for him that I particularly love. Right. I think I can see like,

I respect what he does. Why, like, the general public, like, admires him or something. Yeah, he doesn't go after like, he's not like a Chappelle who's like leaning onto the same, like, trite bullshit. Yeah.

Like, he seems like he actually tries to write jokes. It's just like they don't land for me, really. Yeah. But I appreciate the performance. I get the character that he's doing. The only thing I liked him that I actually respect, he went on flagrant too, like, or just flagrant now, I guess.

He went on like, I think last year, maybe early or I can't remember when it was. Who was that again? Sebastian Maniscalco. Of the Italian guy? Yeah, Italian guy. Yeah. He so just didn't get it, you know?

Like, he's from an older, like, he's an older guy. Yeah, it was funny. He doesn't get why any of this is funny to me. Yeah. Because he was, he was talking to her about, like, how much. Shultz is like, obviously doing what he does. I was sitting next to how much of money he had. And he was just like.

And I said, you, you're gay. You're gay. You're gay. Ah! So I walk in there and I say, Ew, what are you doing? Kill this thing. Oh, man, I shot a little Scott.

Ew. You kill this gay person. That's what he's, that's what Trump sounds like now. He's like, it's like slower, but like, ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen. He's fading. Everyone that's doing impressions of him are doing him like four years ago. Yeah, 2015, really, arguably.

Back in the day. That was more, it's more fun to do it. It's way more fun. I saw a gay little guy. And he fucked me so hard. Oh, do you see him at that Ford plant? The what? He was at like one of those Ford like, oh, and he like flipped the guy off.

Dude, because somebody said, you're protecting pedophile protector. And he's like, fuck you. You saw a mouth fuck you. And then he flipped him off. So what? Then I was like, who cares? You can't. I'm going to rape you now.

I thought he was going to jump off. And like, yeah. Guards get him. Grab him. The guy. Hold him down. Ain't no pedophile going to protect you. Except for me from other pedophiles.

I'm pedophiling you. I'm going to put up. going to pedify you right now. He actually squeezes him down to make him like he's like 10 years old. Put him in the younger machine. Put him in the young and younger. Put him in the young ander.

There's a fucking asshole with a dolly. He makes people children so he can be a bedelible. Put him in the young inner now. One of the Secret Service guys has a dolly with that machine at all times. He runs it up. He puts a fucking 70 year old steel worker in there and he comes out eight years old. It's like you're powerless now. No.

Undress. Undress right now. Undress for me. I want you to do it. I'm going to tributche you to the Epstein Island. I'm going to rip your clothes off and then I'm going to bomb you. Then I'm going to bobby. My favorite order of operations when it comes to children.

Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb. We're going to make AI make images of you and then we're going to charge people for it. None of this is even remotely a joke. Pam Bondi, J.D. Van Bangell. Clearly that child. Clearly he was asking for it. Yeah.

That's 70 year old, that's 70 year old baby domestic terrorist. Fucking JD man is clearly jerking it to a picture Charlie Kirk's wife. Clearly. He's fucking fat nut on, like on her face right now. But like she also has like a cosplay of a couch. You know,

because otherwise it's not, he can't concentrate. Usha Vance is like, why are you doing this? Why do you? Why you cheat on me in public? You're brown. You're brown.

You're, you're, you're, you know that scene from the Grinch where like, it's like a POV shot? And he's like,

it's like, it's like, that's J. He's terrorizing his fucking Indian wife. Be white. White. Just a cast white on her.

I can't. I try so hard. I try so hard. I cover myself in funfetti, but did no work. Ruck! It's stupid as much.

Smell like curry, get out. I can't fucking white Nash is with an Indian wife's the craziest shit to me, dude. It's so common, too. Have you guys seen a movie? The movie came out recently? It's one fight after another. Oh, I haven't seen it.

It's a really good movie, but it's like this guy who joins a like fucking clearly like white nationalist cult, it's clearly a racist man. absolutely in love with Tiana Taylor's character. And it's like, always. It's like,

I get it. It's like, I get it. I get why. Can I ask you something about the movie? Because this is something like, I worry about like this sometimes. We're like,

I'm worried about like where a movie like is like, oh, this movie agrees with me and I like it because I agree with it. But like is it actually is it good, irrespective of that? It's good because of the fact that what you call it. You know what I mean? I know,

Leo's performance is great in that movie. Yeah, I'll check it out. And the fucking the guy, the, I was meaning to see it. It's a good movie. It's actually a good movie.

You know I saw the other day, Hellboy for the first time? Tiana Taylor's a good actress. Which one? The first one. Oh, the original. Yeah. No, no, I think David Harbor one. Okay.

Oh, my God. Because it's called Hellboy. Oh, yeah. No, I mean, I wouldn't have even bothered. I had that they did that. Oh, they both was called Elboy. So they kind of rebooted it, essentially. Soft reboot, right?

It's like how Doom 2016 isn't really called. It's 2016 isn't on the box. Yeah, so it's called Doom. So it was that. So it's 2019 Hellboy or whatever. But like the original, you got to watch two men. Phenomenal film. some really cool moments

I like it way better than one even though I like one I think you'll see I just think the cinematography del taro yeah yeah

there's no I like the first one there's no fire bilch in the second one I'm maybe mad right well she's not in the second one she wasn't right she's in the first one

she is the second one yes the love interest I don't remember her I don't remember in the second one really I know she's in it or I know the second one

very well I don't remember her very much she's more She's more a focus on the first. I mean, I didn't see the second one of my, one of my favorite, you gotta watch it, dude, that's, I, one of my favorite scenes is one of,

something that she does too, she's involved in it. Is it the beginning of the movie? No, no, no, I just, like. Without spoiling anything, do you remember that there's a creature, it's the last creature on earth and it becomes complicated that's like, this is the last one that ever exists, so it's kind of like immoral to destroy it, but they have to? That's beginning of the movie, right?

I'm thinking? No. It's not. They wouldn't make sense for it to be the beginning of the movie I feel like I remember her in the beginning of the movie That's why Well she probably is The beginning of the Lincoln movie starts with them getting shot

And then the rest of the movie is like Whatever like an elongated version of the 10 minutes It takes for him to pass away in the bed It's just it's really funny It's just the idea of like Damn, that would win an Oscar It would be like so subversive You know a Magga's gonna make their own Oscars

What? You heard something like that or are you Okay, no matter They're going to make their own Oscars. What is it called? It's already, I think it's just called MAGA Oscars. But early reporting is coming through and it's indicating that a jingling underscore keys dot MP4 is going to sweep. I love this.

If we have any MAGA people in the audience, just leave. I just don't. I fucking leave. There's no way there. I mean, like, they can't still be here. I just don't know what you're doing. Why do I say that? I bet we have some Republicans.

Yes, I'm sure we have Who are like What the fuck is going on? But like But I also ask the question I'm like What is left for you? Sure

I asked the question too Because I was very I started off younger Being very cordial Towards the average conservative The center left people Being very cordial And I'm like I understand

Where you guys are coming from Relatively A lot of you Claim small government stuff And this this and that But I'm like all right None of that stuff's happening In your party

In your camp Why are you there? Like so I ask the question what is left for you? Why do you still claim this? It's like, the libertarians who were just like, oh, I love the mass police. He's like, well, you're not really.

That's the whole thing. You're not a libertarian, really. I saw Gas Digital was doing a thing with like Nick Mullen, fucking Dave Smith and, all those other guys. Did you say who? Gas Digital. It's one of those points.

I thought he said Gaston. Oh, Gaston was doing, Gaston was hosting. He would be on a mega podcast. Totally. Gaston? Gaston would, he would sweep.

I would listen to it. Yeah. Because like, he's so. Stupid. I like that's he's big and he's got his gun. He's got his blood. He's like he's in love. He's got his big gun, his blunderbusts, whatever the fuck he has. I remember what he has. He has it all the time. He has all the fucking gun with a fucking wide opening. It's part of his character. It's like the guy in smiling friends, the pilot with the gun always edited. Yes. No one says. No one of his. He never says no to gaston. Like that's like I love that he says. I'm like that's a crazy thing to say. That is. That is. That is. I feel like Bell got out of there a lot of times by the skin of her teeth. Yeah. I've like she got. very lucky. He tried many times and I'm like it's crazy. He fucked every other girl in the village I think just because like she is resisting is why he's so like persistent.

No one rakes like Gaston. No one sexual assaults like Gaston. No one holds and pins down women against their will like Gaston. That's crazy. You know he fuck the wolves. You know that right? Gaston fucks the wolves. I saw him do it. He meets Ernestine. He wants to fuck the beast. He just didn't have a chance.

He meets Ernest Hemingway and Ernest Hemingway says like, I'm an essayist. And he goes, like, oh, me too. That's a good one. That's a good joke. You can only, that only translates to modern day. I know. I say it's pretty good.

That's not bad. It's something. You got there. You got there. I respect that. Yeah, sometimes you got to throw one out. Nobody grapes like Gaston. No one that says like a son.

No one takes, what means rights away like Gaston. All right. Let's see. What is this? I don't know what the fuck this is. We'll get this one. get out of here. Thugzilla versus the Y guys. He says

what's good snark gentlemen? Not a question but extra but extra info on Erica Kirk but take it with a pinch of salt. Taking it with all the salt possible because it sounds crazy. But he says apparently before she married Charlie she ran an orphanage in Armenia. Is that real? This is facts. This is real. Yeah. Or

one of them eastern block nations. Yeah it's not it's not Armenian. I don't think it's Armenian. I think it's Romania. Romania. Oh. who that's go ahead and see I want to see if he finishes

he says the strange thing is a lot of the kids would go missing in her particular orphanage it eventually led to an American the Armenian

the Armenian kicking her the fuck out of the country Terry on top she knew Trump at this time because she won some fuck-ass page

he was doing I know that's a fact yeah lots of circumstantial evidence but hey we're look I don't know what's true

about Erica all I know is that nothing seems to be she has a lot of interesting ties. It's, it ain't normal. It's a lot of interesting ties. It ain't normal. Yeah. The fact that she was on a reality show like that, like that reality show and it's like, oh, I never drank or I never dated or whatever. And you're on a dating reality show where

you're drinking on camera and like everybody's seen it. It's like that. That alone is crazy. It means nothing. It's just that voter base of this absorb anything. You can just lie about anything. Dude, you know what I saw recently? So, uh, you know, they want to tax billionaires in California. like just like a one time tax or slow roll it you know it'll barely do anything to them right it's like the billionaire the owner of navidia is like yeah whatever he literally is like i don't care like it's not because he he's being self-aware and not being like a monstrous in the way of like oh no this is i'm gonna move he's like i'm fucking whatever yeah i have too much money all the chuds are saying can you believe gavin newsom's doing this

Gavin Newsom's like I will veto that thing if it comes to my desk Crazy Gavin Newsom is with the chuds And they're all saying he's doing this And I'm like I hate this Even when Gavin Newsom is on their side They're like he's doing it Literally the lie is so fucking retarded

It nothing matters It nothing matters I really don't like Gavin Newsom man Of course he's the whole thing It's like it sucks that like He's probably gonna become president though I hope God I don't know, I don't think so

I don't think so Somebody else needs to Within within the next couple years They have to shut up I think strange things have happened Like Bernie kind of came out of nowhere For people who like Weren't paying that much attention

I remember he kind of showed up I mean he's been around a long time But fucking Vecna I'd vote for Vecna I'm like fuck it let's see Let's vote an extra mention it again He wants to turn everything into Like the Lickapark video and shit

Vecna's a girl's name I gotta go Vecna The vagno. He's got to do. You got to get the, you got to get the, I was studying Spanish. I was studying Spanish yesterday.

I was trying to actually fucking put effort into it. And I was like, why are there, why are there gendered objects? It's just such a crazy thing that's like, oh, that pool's gender. That's a feminine pool.

It's annoying. I think it's, I think it's old. The reasoning for that came after phonetics. Or anything. Like, I think some things are like, I think people would be like,

it sounds better than a. Why? I don't know. It's a woman. I don't know. You know what I mean? Like, I think the order of operations is like, this sounds better this way. Definitely the stupid gendered bullshit came after the language. Like, definitely is like, oh, this is like, now this is a here thing. But it just feels that language is so interesting to me. Yeah. Because it's actually, Spanish is really, it's a really crazy simple language. I want to understand that. Like, every, for you, it's oh. So like, yo bebo. I drink. For someone else, it's two bebes. That means you drink. for the Latin-based languages are really really simple languages. They're much better because they don't have as many rules.

Like say when you start getting into the more other bullshit dramatic stuff. Dramatic is probably different. I don't know. Well, that's like everything else essentially. Really? Like, well, as far as we're... Europe, at least. Yeah, like in English and all that kind of stuff, which has a lot of that.

And of course, it has a lot of the romance and Latin type shit. But the rule, like say the neutral. We don't have that shit. Yeah. That is another, that is a rule, like, say in German, it's called neuter, you know? So, like, we don't have to worry about that shit. They don't have, they have those extra things that we don't have to worry about, like, what is it? There's that one thing, like, like, um, like, um, there are sub accents, obviously.

And, and, but like, there's, there's that B. It looks like almost like a R.B thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That which is a music thing. It's like, um, I, it's, I think it's like a, it's like a double S or something. It's like the sound. it makes. It's so weird. American is such a weird language.

It's fucking, it's two, the two most common, well, not the two most common ones. The two ones are in like Europe. Like, let's just mash them together. It's what the fuck happened. You should start a language, you should start a language, you teach people how to do, how to speak languages.

I'm not good at, start an app. I'm not good at the one I speak. You can start duo Negro. Duo Negro. Deo Negro. Yeah, the duo Negro. Yeah, the duo Negro.

It's just teaching how to people, it's just saying English. things and people until they get it. Instead of it's the bird. Instead of the bird, it's the crow. Oh, the owl. It's like,

that sucks. It could be a raven at least. It's a smarter bird. That's better. I think so. I thought crows are the smart ones. They're both relatively smart compared to other birds. They can both speak.

They both mimic English. Am I mistaken? Ravens are the ones that people refer to to whether the English speaking, well, not English, that are speaking. They're the ones that be like, bitch-ass niggins and they fly away. And you're like, I know you just said that. Crows are smart though.

They remember people's faces. They like remember people's faces. Did you see, this was an iconic video of a crow was crazy. A crow was bartering with a vendor like in New York or something like that or Chicago, whichever, wherever it was. But it was like trying to like barter and it was like, here, I'll give you this. And the crow was like, I don't fucking want that. And then you give like a bigger piece of food.

It's like, all right. You know, it was like one of those things. I'm like, that's crazy because we associate that with humans. I think it's illegal to have them as pets for that reason, right? Like, they're considered like too smart. Is that? I think so. I didn't know what I think about that.

I think because they can be trained to do shit that's like a person. Like you can train a crow to like steal massive amounts of money. Like you can actually do that. They will seek it out. I saw somebody have a regular bird pickpocket people. Yeah, imagine a crow. That's insane. Like the fact that they know you and they'll be your generational friend.

They'll teach their kids to be your friends to. It's like that human's good. You can go to him and get food. He'll be nice. You can let him touch you. He's not going to be a big deal. Feed you. Didn't they do that study with like the mask or whatever?

They had to wear a mask and like feed him over like multiple generations. And every time they saw the mask, they would come to him. Fucking insane. That means they whisper to each other. That's fucking ridiculous. Insane. Yeah. Anyway.

And we don't do. We don't do care of the world for them. Isn't that crazy? We don't do them to do diligence. Like let's just make the planet like nice for them to live in. They should figure it out. That's crazy. I hope they're coming after all of us.

That's crazy. Americans are so. Wake up and there's like a crow with a gun. Americans, we love our pets. We super romanticize our pets. We don't respect the greater wildlife of the country. It drives me fucking insane. It's going to Costa Rica.

It's the literal opposite. It's beautiful. What do you mean? Like they abuse their dogs and then they're like chill with the Panthers? Well, I feel like, no, I feel like their dogs. They love their dogs. Shut the fuck up. Thank you, Mr. Panther.

But they still slaughter animals for food, though. Of course, but that's different. It's a different. It is 100% different. It is 100% different. It is 100% different. It's not. It is.

So you know, you want to know why it's not different? Because we don't have to do it. I mean, yeah, but you can also raise livestock, treat it respectfully, and then kill it and eat it. The killing part is what throws the whole thing, respect out. I don't, you don't raise a child in and then killing it. A child is not an animal. A child is not an animal. You see, that's why your whole argument falls apart where you're like, so it's an animal so I can treat it differently.

So why do humans need to respect animals then? Because of the fact that we least, we should just show them respect what we We have them here, we interact with them. So why is keeping them alive nicely and then killing them respect? Because of the fact that often they're bred for, like animals eat other animals. You know that, right? We're not animals. We're not animals.

But we are. We are fundamentally animals. We're humans. We're human beings that are animals. That's true. Capability to grow our own food and not slaughter animals. That is true. But us slaughtering animals and have to, if we're going to eat animals, if we're going to

partake and feeding on the animals, we should at least have the respect. Like, oh, while they're here, we're. We treat them kindly. I think that's stupid. I think you're stupid. I know you do, but I know you think it's stupid because you're, you don't want to, you want to justify you killing in, and eating animals. But I think there's, I think that's a part of life. Animals consume animals for the most part.

Because they have no other option. I mean, a dog could eat beans and it'll be fine. You can feed a dog beans over and over again. And it'll be like, shut. No, I don't really. So it's going to, so how is it going to farm beans? I mean, hey, it can find them. And then it's going to find beans.

It's going to, it's going to soak them in a little. water and get them actually soft enough to eat them without soaking them too you can eat means it out soaking them. Go ahead and do that. Okay do that and then have it swell in your stomach. Hey man. Oh dude sorry. Eat roughage you stupid dog. I'm doing devil's advocate because I obviously partake in meat but I just I like for people to acknowledge that the idea of like we need to take care of animals better. I'm like okay but we need to go this step further and not slaughter them needlessly anymore. I think needlessly slaughtering them is a problem but I think Eating them is...

I know, I'm not talking about you. We're talking about rats and stuff. I think... I don't need to slaughter them, so honestly. I think you're slaughtered them. All right. If society was better, there wouldn't be a rat fucking problem. That's the whole idea.

Yes. I think those things... What do you mean? I guess. I think rats persist. I think rats. I think they're special. I think they're special.

Rats. Why do rats fucking... So like, you know, the hoarder's house? Yeah, yeah. If that house was... That's the best place for them to be in this. If that house, but that's the point. If the house was squeaky clean,

would the rats be infesting that place? No, but they're gonna say why as New York Where the trash is all over the fucking streets and shit Because the way that they do their system Would the rats be fucking going Or, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, but like are in these plague places In England where there people are shitting all over the streets

And had horrible sewage systems And then these plague rats started showing up and killing them Yeah Like you know what I'm saying? In a way of this nature That's nature being like, I want to sell I'm funny What I'm saying is like I can't imagine like where did

Like, where the fuck did, I don't think about it. This is a genuine question. Where did rats come from? Like, what do you mean? Like, is there just like a woods rat? Yeah, there's rats in like every, relatively every climate, there's like a little rodents. But you understand why that, like, I can't,

it's almost like a wild horse where like, I understand that they're real. I understand that that must happen. Yeah, yeah. In America, that's crazy. If I saw like a horse with like no saddle or whatever, like, what is this? Why?

It looks weird. It looks odd. It looks weird. That's how I would feel like if I saw a rat like in the Grand Canyon or something. You know what I mean? I'd be like, what I mean? That's what you have here? Isn't that crazy?

I feel like I saw wild horses before. I feel like I've seen wild horses before, but I think that it's impossible. I know they have them in like over in Pennsylvania. It's super rare to see them now. Yeah, they're almost gone. Yeah, it's super rare to see what because they're almost all contained. They weren't, they're not from America, I think initially, right? They're from over and like where the place Fjord is.

The moon. Like over Norway and stuff. They're from Asia. Really? Yeah. I'm here from Europe. They're originally. So the first, the first wave of horses.

from Asia. And then the Spanish brought them over after. So there was a first wave of horses. They all died or whatever because, you know, climates and everything. And then Spanish brought over the ones that we have now. That's crazy to think about. They're just not from here.

Yeah. I mean, none of us are, I guess. One of the most American cars is, they're so American. One of the most American cars is the Mustang. Exactly.

And I'm like, oh, that's weird because that's not even, like horses are such a part of American horse. Like, Cowboys. It really is about what is embraced by certain places. It's kind of like how pasta, like it's like pasta is more of an Italian thing, but that's like Chinese.

It's Asian. Yeah, that's very true. I guess there's like noodle and ramen and stuff, but like even even in the context of that, it's like, it sounds good. Yeah. I had ramen. Dude, I went to little Tokyo. Yeah. I had, um, even just, even just like home wall places.

I just don't, I don't understand. She hates. She does not like Asian food. I think it's, I think it being Mexican, I think she has an adversion to Asian food actually. It doesn't make any sense to me. It doesn't make sense to me. I think it. I think the cuisines are just naturally so different.

That she doesn't have a taste for it. I'm just like, you don't like, good flavor? I don't understand that. I think she doesn't like it. She doesn't like it drives me crazy. It sounds like, do you guys go to Korean barbecue?

That's something. Yeah, but she doesn't, she doesn't partaking like ramen and stuff. She gets like fucking very. So she's just noodle. That seems like, but she was young.

Oh, sorry. No, I'm just saying like, I feel like ramen is like of the, of the Asian cuisines is probably like the most. I think the problem is that when she was little

similar to like, as a Mexican, did she ever eat like top ramen or a cup of noodles. I don't think she really ate hot Roma a couple of most like that. That is, like Maruchan? Did she go to college?

To be a Southern Californian and to not grow up on those. Lil it's not a poor, man. It's not a poor person. I mean, I get, I don't know. I can't imagine that. That is very, Robin got me through a lot.

It got, it is, it is cultural. I love it still. I, like, I still to this day, like I have Ronu-

I want to make Maru-Tchan, but I just, I just don't eat it because I know how bad it is. I don't eat it because I know how bad it's, but I fucking, I, I, You should have it all the time like in college.

I love that shit. I have like a long love Fred is don't eat anymore. That seasoning, that fucking that MSG seasoning that's like killing you slowly. The thing that's really bad about it that people's like don't drink the broth afterwards. How? How are you not to drink the nectar? Well, I specifically don't do that. I don't.

I just eat the noodles and I eat the noodles and that's fine. So I do that and then I might have a little bit of crackers. It absorbs a little bit of it. But you can't finish it all because that's like how much sodium is that? It's a thing. To be honest, like I've never liked that action. of like having having food with like liquid at the bottom

and then like finishing the food and then drinking the liquid I love it. It always felt like I didn't do you do that with cereal? No I don't do it with cereal. I don't do it either. I didn't know.

No, I tossed in the mouth. You haven't been to Typhong? Have you ever been to Typhoon before? Yeah, of course. You know the fucking brazen rib fucking ramen shit they have there? I only ever get dumplings over there

but like, the brazen rib shit is like, it's like, it's like, it's like, damn. What is it called? So we're talking about fucking ramen now. See, I was planning on getting,

I was planning on getting Mediterranean barbecue here Armenian barbecue but now I'm like ramen with some fucking Khatsu we cooked so I can't I'm gonna eat at home but you cooked yesterday You got leftovers of course nice We all we meal prep we should make food throughout

Oh I got a I used to milk we have a We have like a bachelor's fridge and the reason we haven't replaced it Because it was like $200 right It was like 200 bucks and it's like an elongated ice You know like you get those small ones Yeah yeah it's like a bigger one

So it was $200. And we're like, we'll get a big one later. And then my friend was moving and his new apartment had a fridge. And so he was going to let us use that one. And then he fucking Benedict Arnolded me and was like, oh, yeah, my dad was asking me about the fridge. And I basically was like, yeah, but you said I was going to use it. And then I already was like, it's over. Yeah.

He's got, he's going to give up. Remember our fridge from the Glendale apartment where it was like a, like a pot. It was a pot of water. A pot of water We had a pot of water in there That we would boil Because we didn't have fucking a filter Yeah

We had no reason to do that too Because I was making pretty decent buddy I was making stupid good buddy Actually at that point You were the only person I was making good money At that time That is true I kind of I kind of supported everything

He was making like five bucks a day I was fucking crazy poor And Jalen quit his job Because he was going crazy Because he was being a postman Drive him crazy I wonder why that happened That is true.

But we lived unreasonably, like, frugally at that point. Like, it made no sense for us. Like, that fridge was scary. There was ice, a pot of water. I think I had like a jug of iced tea in there. And then like, there's an image of it somewhere. We can find an image of it. It's in the video.

It's on this channel. It's in the Tom, the Tom Sweeney hates the gaze video. You can see. There's a shot where you can see the fridge. Because I'm just given like a tour of the apartment because I was bored. But like there's a, it's a, it's a, for three people living in a place. That fridge is fucking ridiculous. I remember we gave Lyle that fridge.

We did? Yeah. We were moving because the fridge that we, the apartment that we were moving and had one already. So we were like, fuck, I bought this fridge.

Oh, that's what my friend was going to do. Yeah. It's nuts. It's not seeing how fucking, how just looking back at that period of time and being like, holy shit.

That was a, it feels like a world ago. It was a world ago. It's just 10 years. I would argue in the time that it's been since then, things have changed more than they had

in the 10 years leading up to it. In certain areas. Specifically like the internet. It's fucking crazy. But anyway. From being like really cool to like just insane. Let's get on. Let's move.

Let's read these names. Oh yeah. Get on out of here. Read the names of our $25.00 of patrons. Remember you can go over to Patreon.com slash a snark tank. Support the show. Is the Verizon still down? Yeah.

Oh, no, it's back. No, no way. Yeah. I have a single notch. That's fucking crazy. Very cool. I wonder if there's a... I hate that I'm even brained in this way.

But, like, I wonder if that means something. Like, who are we bombing? You know what I mean? Oh. It's gone now. It's gone again. It's gone again. Oh, sick.

Well, if you can't reach me today, good, I guess. Good. I don't have to answer calls. Anyway, we're going to read the $25 and up names now. Remember, you can go to Patreon.com. Patreon.com slash a snark tank to throw your name in the ring. I'll read it at the end of the episode as I do every episode, every week. Oh, shit.

Count me down. What's going on? Ryan Hurst is going to be crazy. In the Amazon Prime series? Okay. You recognize this inward? No. So a lot of people might know him as Gary Burtier in Remember the Titans or they know him as Opie in a Sons of Manorkey.

I've never, I haven't seen that. He's a big fucking dude. Very big guy. He's a big dude. You never seen Remember the Titans? Is that why you're racist? I think I might have forgotten the Titans. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, have forgotten the Titans.

I'm sure I did, but like I didn't care. I don't know. Left side. Strong side. Was it a sports movie? Yeah. But it's a, it's a time. Well, it's not timeless, but it's a period piece.

It's a period piece. And, you know, it's about the segregation and the football brings them together. What's his name? There's a guy that looks like Alex Jones. They were like, God damn. Why do you bring him in this game? There's so much better. No.

I'm so deeply disconnected from sports. Have you ever, like, listen to old, um, old, like, recordings of them, like, giving, talking about old baseball games when, like, they just integrated the black people and then fucking prompt the news prompters being, or the sport prompters being like, no, I, I, we lost this sport. Like, like, like, shaving Alex Jones back in the day. What the fuck is that? That's Cratos? That's what he looks like. So this is, this is, this is, remember the Titans, this, um, so this is Ryan Gosling. Um, and this is Ryan Gosling's dad.

Oh, the kid. Okay. And then so, uh, well, ha. I was like, yo, blow up of a century, man. What happened? What did he do? Holy shit. Denzo Washington's the coach, and he's replacing this other guy.

And then this Alex Jones guy's like, I'm not playing. My son's not playing for some coach coon because his name's Coach Boone. And he's like, yo, that's awesome. And he slaps fire out of his mouth of media. There's a bunch of people in that fucking movie. Like a bunch of, like, young. It's a big, I know it's a huge movie. Is Cheney Tatum in that one or no?

That's not the one. No, he's in a bad. He's in a coach John John. Yeah, he would have been way too young. This was like, because he's, he's young. He's young. Right. Relative. He would have been like way too young for that movie. I know it's a big movie. I know it's like if it's a sports movie. When he was fat as shit. Oh my god. And now he's a fucking wall. Dude. He's so yoke. He's so yoke. He's so yoke. It's hilarious. He's hilarious. The guy from my name is Earl. The brother. He was like really, really, really heavy set. And he like, he had like a heart attack. He's a heart attack. He's a. He's a, he's a. He's a skit. He's a. He's a. He's a. He's a. He's a. He's a. He's a. He's a. He's head in American History X. You see that? One of the races. A long time ago. My eyes is he's driving in the van happily singing a racist song If you remember that scene.

I'm trying to see the glory of the trampling at the zoo. We lost ourselves in ears blood and all the Mongols. You've never heard that song before? I mean, I heard you know how I know that song from Jew by Jew by Jew. The white man marches on. Do you remember that?

No, what? You don't know the Just a Robot. Fucking anti-S-JW version of that? That's a real thing? You're like not doing a bit? Thank you. Please play it. Please pull it up.

This is definitely worthy. You're going to love it. Just a robot? What should I put in? I think it might be this most popular video. You could probably like do just a robot. Go to his channel. That song is crazy.

When I first heard that, I was like, well. I love that I get to show this to you. If you haven't said, I feel like you've seen it, though. You might have forgotten it because it hurts to watch. But what should I look? Uh, let's go, popular. Oh my God.

Where is it? You think you took it down? No way. Wait, hold that. Yeah, let me look at. Yeah, go ahead. Just a robot.

Yeah. Uh, uh, song, maybe. That's insane. Yeah, there it is. Outro. Oh, that's what it is? It's the top one.

Okay. You can play it. Okay. Okay. This is real? Yeah, of course. Yeah. This is his outro.

This was at the end of every video that you would do. I think maybe that might, I mean, it's called. intro, I assume. But this is crazy, man. He forces just a robot in there. It doesn't make sense. Holy piss that sucks. Yo!

It's fucking trash! I actually, I'm not too familiar with just a robot. I'm not really that familiar with it either. I remember seeing the thumbnails around everybody every once in a while back in the day and I remember being like, it probably sucks. And I just never... I can't... Because I knew it was a fucking P&G guy.

It was like, I was so sick of a P&G. people. Oh my God. At least Greg would animate it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, like, his videos were definitely there's more effort in it.

Yeah, there was more effort into it. A jiggling higgers, man. I swear to God. Would you say? That sucks. It's just a robot marches. Oh, what a fucking garbage heat. Oh, God.

This planet sucks dick, dude. I really, I really hope God shows up and then kills himself in front of us. That's what I were, Joe and I were talking about like God probably made, you know, And then, you know, like, seconds to him is like millions of years. He probably busted a fat one. He fell asleep. He looks over and he's like, come on his tummy.

He fucking fell asleep. What is this? Like, he's looking at the world. Like, oh my God, they made Jews. That's crazy. He imagine if that video was on like, you imagine if that video was on like the fucking Voyager. It was like, you know, on the, you know,

then that's going to space is propelling. All the data. Ew, that's what. The aliens are like, we need to kill them now. No, they're like, we can't go there. We can't go there. They're going to topple us and they're going to take our technology

and we can't have them coming here. They go, they go, ew. They pull a halo. They pull a halo. They come here to fuck with us and then we kill them and then we take the technology and we go to space with it.

And it's like, no, you're going to just left them alone. Why did you do that? Isn't that so much worse than you could have possibly imagined? I can't believe that that is unironic. I know. You said, you said that's his outro.

Yeah, it was his outro. Wow. He likes to play up the fact, Like I've seen I saw a video recently Oh he's still doing shit Yeah he's still doing it But like he uh

Somebody he sent it to me Because I was mentioned in it But I wasn't I was just like kind of like tangentially Like in the back Like my, there's clips of me in it Oh he never says my name I'm like that's lame

The fuck Oh what was it about My fucking dues Oh is it about because like Lord have mercy He made a video Four months ago And it got eight

7.9K Yeah it was it called Charlie Kirk is dead And now everything is worse now That's his last video he made And then he made He made one eight months ago. The abortion political spectrum.

What could that possibly be? Who's going to sit there and be like, you imagine sitting there? You just ordered food? You're like, I got to turn on my TV and put this on the big TV. I got to hear what Juster Robot says about the abortion spectrum. I don't understand this guy. Is he being ironic? So I thought like, oh, is he actually defending Logan Paul?

Logan Paul gets slandered by Coffeezilla. And then he makes one says, Frogan did nothing wrong. And I don't believe that. He believes that. though. So he plays up the issue is like I think he tries to

play like he's self-aware but I don't buy it. Okay. Because ultimately you're still doing this. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like it's kind of I don't know, I don't know dude whatever. He's one of these old fucking freaks. No, you think that you said black pigeon speaks. You think that guy still exists? No way. He definitely

got assassinated by his child or something already. That's crazy. The black pigeon spoke to him and he died. Oh, you hear about the fucking, uh, Scott Adams died. No, he didn't. Yeah, he's dead. He's dead.

He's dead. Really? Gilbert killed him. Is he really dead? He really is dead. He really is earnestly dead. Did you hear like what happened? He had cancer and then he fucking took Ivermectin instead of getting real medicine.

Yeah, I think literally that's what happened. That's incredible. So fucking, I don't know. Of course, George. Thoughts and prayers, I guess. Yeah, thoughts and prayers. Like, well, you know, I didn't tell them to. I didn't tell.

I didn't tell you to fucking... I love the idea of Dilbert killing. It crawls out of the page. You made my hair skin. I'm gonna kill you. He still makes videos. Who, Black Pigeon speaks? The terrifying reason everything feels the same in 2026, so he's talking about movies.

He's ripping... I've seen so many people in cinema. These people are so unoriginal. One person goes viral for it and now everyone's making... This is why nothing feels real anymore. I'm like, bro, think of something else, man. It's been done. Jesus Christ.

Dude, plagiarism is crazy right now. The plagiarism meta is high. It is so high to where there's, I follow a guy named Captain Cuba. He does Kratos like theories and lore and stuff just about God of War. And he was streaming, I guess. And people are like, hey, check out this Arab dude. And he's just speaking Arab over his content. He just replaced his voice and it's just in whatever.

And it's, he just stole his videos. That's crazy. And he was like, yo, that's my shit. That's crazy. I was just like that is so Wait so he just does like a TV show stuff now Basically oh yeah Oh yeah it's one of them

Oh no no no I'm wrong That's just one of them Somali fraud explains why racism will never end The real reason Trump invaded Venezuela It's not what you think Okay sure The click bait Predictions

The year ahead black swans and solar flares Huh People really I don't know The absolute state of Christmas in 2025 The absolute state Will whole flation cured just dysgenics but cripple civilization? What the fuck

is disgenics? I actually don't know. Am I too offline? I actually don't know what just genics means. You can't know what that is. Yeah, I'm kind of I don't even care. I'm not even curious. Let's just get the fuck out of here. Okay. We got a we got a new age. Broke smug nation comedian begs Trump for annexation. I don't know what. I don't know.

Whatever. This is why like people are like, why don't you make videos? Why haven't you posted in a while? It's because I don't want this reaction. You know what I mean? This is like if I'm going to make something, I want I want it to be good. Or like, I want you to care. Yeah.

If you're seeing me and I don't know, I make like the absolute state of fucking Hanukkah or whatever. Like, what the fuck? I mean, gives a shit. I can't wait for absolute Hanukkah. I can't wait. Like it like Batman?

Yeah. Absolute Hanukkah. Count me down. We're going to read the names. I'll read it. Three, two, one. Sween paying $80 to look like that is crazy. It's insane.

Christine Nome and Laura Lumer are fugly sluts Heard they make out with hot dogs A different set That's fucking insane actually I don't think I included last time How crazy that is A different sad guy from Michigan Louis Armstrong singing

We Are Charlie Kirk under genuine duress Louis Armstrong singing We Are Charlie Kirk under genuine duress Are those? Yeah I just wanted to read it again Oh okay obliterating Ben Shapiro with the Jewish orbital laser to redeem our people.

That's right. Remember the Jewish space lasers? Oh yeah. Remember when that was crazy? Yeah. And that was like, what the fuck? No, it's not really that insane. Now I kind of believe it. Are they using it against them?

I mean, they would. You'd think they would, right? I mean, you'd think they would. They probably are. Sorry, children. It's the hammer of dawn. It's the hammer of dawn. It is the hammer of dawn.

Literally. It's the hammer of them. Donica. Haddonica. Brilliant. Brilliant. Stupid. I want to get those,

those Jewish bagels. What's that place called? Oh, Noah's? Whatever it is. There's, we got a Jewish place by my house. Noah's,

uh, Jew bread. Jew. Yeah, that's where I want to go. No. Noah's New York bagels is pretty, pretty okay.

It's not bad. They're not bad. Uh, Snow and Y bagels. They're pretty good though. They're close enough where I'm like, okay, I guess.

I don't think they're close, man. Because I was there recently. Well, no, I understand. Like, I don't mean literally. I mean, I think the valley between a good, I'll put it this way. The valley between a good New York bagel and a good New York and pizza versus the alternatives. I think it's a wider valley for pizzas than there is for bagels. Okay.

Does that make sense? I get that. Mr. Maddie entering a room full of black veterans shouting salutation, my hand words. Tluki. You guys a porn like a thing, Mr. Maddie sprays? That'd be sick as fuck, though. I hope he hears this and a plant a seed. He's like, he blocks me.

He's, he blocks, no. What if he was like? I'm at he's cool. He should have a- Consider doing porn. He should have a Christian channel and it's Mr. Maddie praise. Ooh, I like, dude.

That is a gay channel. Mr. Maddie Slays. Mr. Maddie Slays. I like that. I guess I guess. Or Mr. Maddie's gay. Maddie doesn't deserve this He's not calling

What if he What if he cheats? Like if he's in a relationship Mr. Maddie strays Is it a cheating channel? Oh God Or if they work it out Mr. Maddie stays

He starts a new channel after that Maddie gets Cursed by a witch And turn into a horse And it's a Mr. Maddie nays just a channel of a horse It's just a horse It's just a horse

Talking about fallout Then he creates a pottery channel And he calls it Mr. Maddie Clay He said it Maddie is actually Maddie pisses me off Because he like he posts so regularly And I'm like I don't understand

Like he's he's so good He's actually genuinely great at YouTube It upsets me He knows how to do it He knows how to deliver like I guess his time management Must be insane It must be it has like really good time management

Where he's like Would be nice to have that You know like those skills Yeah And the discipline I guess Yeah I'm got either Yeah every time I bust I wake up like 84 hours later

And I'm like god damn And then I'm immediately jerk it again I'm like fuck well 84 hours I miss that much of a week Might as well fucking bust another night That'd be cool Because that'd be a good fast

You know Like if I could actually do that Like you just bust you'd wake up Crazy hungry though But like hey if I feel good Or not really I guess I feel horrible. I feel horrible,

but I look good. Holy shit, dude, I'm down 79 pounds in three days. Holy shit. Three days. Anyway,

and cold brew came. Mr. Maddie pray. I love that. He's just videos of prayer. Prayer videos is a gold mine. Yeah, actually,

yeah. I feel like that's the opposite of what they're supposed to be, but you know, never mind. I'm like they're supposed to be private. That's how, you know,

it's going to be good. Yeah, Just like evangelism in general is the opposite of what it should be. Because I absorb a lot of Muslim content for research purposes. For no important reason at all. Gotcha. And, uh, be Mr.

Muhammad praise. Mr. Muhammad. I love that. I would actually do the, the call of prayer. Mm-hmm. They're like Allah by when they start doing like crazy singing.

I think I could do that. I think it just sounds good. Yeah. I told you guys that I, I used to listen to a, secular, oh, I still listen to it, a podcast, and then I called in because they would do the voice messages like we're going to do. Yeah. I was like, hey, you guys should do, you guys play the bumper, the Muslim call to prayer whenever you talk about like Islam.

I was like, you guys should do a competition on who can do the best call to prayer. And I did they do it? I started off. Yeah, they did do it. I fuck it for a long time they used some of those as bumpers. One guy I think that may have won was the guy that was going a long black cock, A long black cock instead of a lock bar That's a respectful And I was like I mean to someone that's Muslim I want a t-shirt just for coming up the idea

So it's pretty cool Stop looking at me I don't like what you made Yeah you're you know If you want to be Muslim I don't care Go ahead Just don't have sex with kids and don't throw acid I'm not Muslim

Don't throw acid No that's all Cobra King Dying Light was the best sex How do you think not throw acid Alpha Alpha five. We love you, Pearl.

You got this Pearl. You got this. S. You just hear a Kio Kalka how much is up. You got this Brow! Dramatic finish.

Stramatic finish. And I guess Mary's trying to break the sounds that the guy's dissolving. That guy's very calm. That guy is gone. He's not here anymore. The gayest Broncos fan in the history being gay, spunk cock fallacy.

There once was a man from Calcutta who suffered a terrible stutter. For breakfast, he said, I'll have bub, bread and bub, but, but butter. Good stuff.

You could add it one more line there. I earnestly like it. It's good, well, it's a limerick. You couldn't add on. It would make it not a limerick. No, no, no, no. Big Chrissy.

That's what a limerick is, right? It is a limerick? I'm going to say yes but also I can't confidently say that I'm just going to agree with you know what I mean Sometimes I'm like 90% sure that's like oh Oh that's the thing

And then they're like no it's not at all I'm like oh My bad Once was a man from Hardar Who did Hardar He once was a man from Nantucket His dick was so long He found 40 kids and said fuck it That's crazy

And said fuck it I'll run from the cops I'll run from the cops and I'll make them all pop. Yeah. It's something. I don't know, whatever. I'm from Colorado Go Nuggets. There you go.

It's a complete non-sectler. I'm from Colorado. Go Nuggets. You got it. Malik Berry, AI, Kobe, becoming a pretzel and blowing out the backboard. Take me down to Paradise City where the grass is green and my wife hasn't left me yet. Please, I want her home, yeah. Was it your fault?

Whatever, obviously. Not Fakes new president. Is a woman, Gov and AOL? I'm just not going to bother them. So stupid. Net and Yahoo. Derrickent white woman. Gay boy farty installing a toilet on the ceiling because I can.

The Dead Spider God Ziga picture. Nice. Lightly tapping Kingston's head with a wine bottle until his face looks like punched lasagna. That's a lightly? Lightly. I'm Captain Lou and I'm talking to you. Motherfuckers be shitting when they isn't even farting yet. Damn.

Shaking my head. Delta Gamma. Literally fed this toddler last week. Why is it still crying? Clemiel Esquire the third. I'm going to kill the president with a mortar. Played Golden Eye for the first time in 20 years. Holy shit that game's controls are in.

nearly unplayable. What was it? Golden Eye. Oh, I'm sure. It's rough. What about the original hardware? Oh my God. How's the reloaded one?

The one on Wii? I did it come out on Wii? Pretty sure. I guess I don't really remember it. There's modern versions. There was like the, I think it was called reloaded. Ever? Maybe.

I don't know. I know on original hardware it's rough. Yeah. I have one friend. There's always that one friend that one said he's a golden gun. You're like, oh my God, here we go. It was going to have a terrible time. Yeah, I wasn't that in doing.

Gold 9 personally. One friend I got to figure it out before we couldn't. It was like, well, we can't play this game with you. I played Medal of Honor before I played Gold 9. I was just like, oh. Oh, interesting. This is before they figured it out. You know, like they were trying their best.

They were like, maybe the DDR patch movie around. When does that shit come out? What the fuck's in that time? Gold 9? Well, it's showing me like this Daniel Craig one. And I'm like, why does he look like that? I think 97. He looks like he almost looks like he's doing the duck thing.

Oh, yeah, he does. He looks pouty. I give it 97 I'm gonna kiss you Is that Daniel Craig? Yeah that's yeah It's definitely day Is Daniel Craig the

The guy from Knives out? Yeah Okay all right He's just not inflated like he was As fucking Gluteny Have you seen the new knives out? Yeah It's pretty good

I liked it a lot Yeah I like the concept It's not as interesting as the first one The first one is the most interesting to me Sure But this one was also good I just like I like them all I think they're cool

Chris Evans does such a good job In the first one That's the thing Yeah he's such a piece of shit He's really good. A good lawyer, which I have, mind you. A good lawyer. Which I have, mind you.

Oh, wow. Reloaded was in 2011. It was that long ago. Probably. There's a remake of it, or not a remake, but like a, you know, a port of it on an Xbox also

that you can play. It's definitely better on modern controllers. Coom, cool, cool, cool, stealth bombing a great sword on the Swedish location. Snark Tank's only gay furry listener,

chainsawed Shud, got a leash and collar for these gay, gay furry good boys. doing jaw exercises so I can IRL recreate that Goku face when he's getting squeezed Count Dankula getting divorced

and deciding the Nazi stuff is no longer a joke Skedoodle Skiddy Your credit score is now three Your credit score is three Dude You really ruin this person's life There's probably a homeless ghost

That has a better fucking credit score than that Yeah that's insane Go bankrupt ASAP dude You're better up dead really You're bankrupt They were being bankrupt For like five years

And then However long you Yeah Your Zerker Eroli If you can do that It's crazy too It's insane That's just like another

Fucking clearly tune To some fucking That means You know Who cares If you do that six times And come present Range

I know Range shifted The Sloker 2 Why so derpy Ra Ra Tom Sweeney Lover of Gigantic PIN He was

He was by the really love Dong I spurned I splurmed my Splurmed my of today to see if I can still splur her. 9-11 again but it's just 432 Park Avenue. Too bad and Frank never watched home alone.

Could have been a real game changer. Very true. It's my attic. I have to defend it. That'd be good. Who is that fucking John Williams? I don't remember. Might be.

Yeah. You get some some yawn fucking. You get some Jan fucking What's a German Williams? I don't know if I can... I don't know. William? William.

William. Jan William. Jan William. Bam pan anem. Bam bam pan a damn. Bamb bram bram brannanam. Let me do that. I just assume it's making knots to step on minds over and over again.

But a Nazi stepping on mind. blowing up. They're blowing up, but they're assembling again, I guess, because they have to keep trying for the, for the plot. Yeah. So stupid. She's in one room. That's like a horror movie in like a studio.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, oh, I wonder what's around. Oh, nothing. What's around the corner of that hallway? There is no hallway? There's no corner. You can just see the killer right in the middle. Yeah, it's like, be over so quick.

Tancis, the Trashman, felching a hippopotamus after 30. thorough use, pegging myself until I achieve enlightenment, N-word Cullen. God, I love the Home Alone theme. It's in my head now. I get it, I get it.

Domo Nation, using the power of AI and V-tubing to bring my dead dog back to life. Derek, not chauvin his innocent, hashtag free him, round-out age, goony, ee globs. Exclusively on company time. Baby, you got semen in your nose. Sniffing that taint. Did you fill my holes? Next remote episode, do it without face cam,

and have Derek's audio ahead by five seconds. Wait, what? So what he's asking for is a terrible experience. All right, no problem. All right, yeah, no problem. We can do that. It's your fault. So everybody blamed this guy.

CCP? Yeah, I think I do. Lockenth night pick. Queen of Faphazzard. I need a laundry machine that beeps we are Charlie Kirk when it's done drying. Bald, blue-eyed German man asking, would you rather let YMS watch your dog or let I-duves make career decisions for you? Jesse under gag outs

Okay I'm sorry, what? Jesse, no, he's just a furry. Oh, so Jesse under gag outs What is this? Jesse under gag outs?

What's the opposite of Jesse? This is pissing me off, by the way. No, what? Jesse under? Jesse under gag outs. gag, I was the gag of swallow. Swallow under over.

So over. Johnny, John John over. John over. ins? I don't know what you're fucking saying. You guys should be

annexed. Leave your credit card information. Us. I hope the president invades you specifically. Fucking amazing. That's crazy.

I have the pussy so I make the rules. Snark Tank's honorary leftist. Welcome aboard. Ayo. We qualify now. You see that they're giving out fucking podcast awards

for the Golden Gloves now? You're fucking kidding. I'm not even joking. Amy Polar won. What did she? Oh. Because she has a podcast. She has a podcast.

She interviews celebrities and shit. Yeah. Okay. But like what the fuck is that? That's kind of crazy. It's like, it's so cheating. It's like cheating. It's like fucking Will Smith going on YouTube and getting a million subs like right away.

Yeah, exactly. I mean fucking nothing. Ha ha. Ha ha. You see that video of him where he's like, oh, I'm getting fat. And it's like, it's like you could not be more average than average. He's like, I'm getting fat. I need to lose weight.

And I was like, well, he, it was the. The most disrespectful thing. It's relative to him. It's like, dude, yeah, you're getting fat relative to you, but you're also an action star who had abs well into your fucking late 40s. And that's what I think is Jada keeps telling him. He's like, you're fucking fat. You know, it wasn't fat.

Tupac had ads the whole time. The Tupac wasn't fat. That's probably what it was. He's like, I didn't even want you to slap him. I thought it was a bit. I'm going to see if I can find the picture. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Was Will Smith ever a comedian?

No, right? No, he's a comedic bone. Here's a comedian. Here's Will Smith getting fat. He's pretty fat. for himself he looks like a piece of shit he looks like a lazy fat

putting a video out yeah he's disgusting he's disgusting he's also 50 plus years old he's older than fucking Uncle Phil was he looks like microwaved ice cream he's fucking gross looking I gotta say absolutely

I gotta say I will say this if anybody's listening to the show and they Google him and they if you look like that you should really fucking consider getting your life together yeah fucking lost it it's so like whatever spark you want had is fucking over with man.

I rescind everything that I said. I agree with Chris. Right. He's disgusting. He's gelatinous. He's bulbous. He's just so gross. I wouldn't come on him.

Well, I wouldn't go that far. I would. Oh, all right. What about you, Kingsend? If you had the opportunity. Yes, I want.

Yes, I want. All right. I have a Pokemon that looks like William Smith getting come down. You want to see a Pokemon that looks like Will Smith come down?

He just hasn't. He just has it. He actually has it. That is crazy. You pulled a picture of yourself. It's me and my girlfriend Oh, I didn't even see her Yeah, it's interesting that you pulled it up right now

To show us Is that the Pokemon that looks like I'm famous, I'm perfect Here's a Pokemon that looks like Jada Pickett Smith killing his, uh, killing her husband or whatever I'm saying

Jada Pinkett Smith sleeping with a child To get back on her with his husband Yo! Yeah What was that August guy? Yeah He fucked, He fucked Muggarabi

She got fucking by her And he fucked that he fucked But I'm like Of course you fuck Margarabi, man. She's like top, she's like the hottest white woman, dude. She's one of the top tier. Top tier, top tier. I think she's number.

I think it's her. They were co-workers. I can't think of who. I can't think of the woman that beat you. That's a white woman. I can think of a couple. I think of a couple. I think ones that I'm more attractive to,

but not are more hot than her. Yeah. She's like, she's like Americana, you know? Yeah. It's like, oh, you're, you're, you're, you go home with Marwill Robbie. Like, I mean, everyone assumes you're successful. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like, it's just like, it bleeds out from every angle. Yeah. beautiful but like I think she's I think some people I think she's idiot I'm like

I think she's crazy I think some like some women especially when they get older that's when I'm really like kind of like yeah yeah Scarletinger Hanson's like that

for me where I see yeah I think she's prettyer now yeah 100% I think she's always been pretty sure but she's like

I think she was at her like most attractive I think it's like during Civil War that era when she was like all right you're just

you're a fine 12 Kingston yeah I'm You all right? I thought she was pretty at Home Alone. Was she in Home Alone?

She's in Home Alone 3 or 4 or something. Yeah. She's like the young sister. Like a 7-year-old? She was like 14 maybe or something. That's the case is my favorite movie. She's so hot.

I watched me with her the first time yesterday. So hot. Yeah. I can't walk now. What? You guys are doing a lot of heavy lifting for no reason. You see a Pokemon that looks like fucking 14-year-old.

She's got a Hanson. You want to use on. funny to show you a picture of Derek's sleeping. From like this morning. Man. It's like it's time stamped. You gotta beat my ass. You gotta beat my ass right there.

That's not safe. You see like a blurry kind of like fleshy thing in the corner? You're like, oh my God. I know the only way to get back and you is to swat you. That's the only way. You got to, you got to, you have to call ice on him. Yeah, totally. That's so fucked us.

Oh, yeah. Because my family's... Your entire family. Your family's gone. Yeah, we're cooked. We're cooked. I'm cooked too. Yeah, you're gone too.

You said you out. Oh, fucking Zabwee nigger, go. They sent me to South Sudan. And I'm like, no, just kill me. Just kill me instead. That'd be badass to put you in Sudan. Or the fucking, what are they put in Somalia? Then they force you to be a pirate.

Snartank Live in Somalia, when? I'm sick as fuck. I'll go first If the Somalia government Whatever it is over there I'm not going to Somalia I'm not going to Somalia Whatever it is over there

Whatever kind of establish What they have now Because you know But last time I paid attention to it Many years ago It was you know Nothing was really happening over there They were kind of in between

Governments It was literally pirates You're in the middle of like a cross-fade transition kind of thing Yeah yeah In the timeline So whatever's happening right now You guys you guys show out the money

You get us Those Dave Chappelle Levels of money We'll let's do it Get us nominated for a golden globe They're like, here's $85. Why aren't we? What the hell? This is all we have.

I'm like, just keep it, guys. I think we should have beat Amy Poehler. I would actually give them $100. We should have beat Amy Poller personally. I think we should have been nominated. I think we should have been on that stage. They can't acknowledge us. They can't acknowledge that people like us.

Why not? You know why. No, what? Because if all people in that room died, they'd be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, funny. GTA4 swing set glitch. Thugzilla versus the Y guys. frogs together strong guys I'm sick of gertney to the left I'm gonna say the N word now Emilio the chosen Juan

this way up V I've fallen and I can't get up Chris's dad says Romineate the same without dog meat Invest in cryptocurrency right now Beet it's probably sound advice actually Then pull out immediately Because that shit's fucking stupid Good old pump and dumps Big meaty stinks Canola Joe resurrected Android Kingstein

Gay actor Rosebud Delicious Star Wars But the word Jedi is swapped with the N word Of course you're laughing of that Of course you're fucking giggling up A goddamn storm Yep Look at this guy It's cute

Call ice on him now He's laughing against He's laughing in public What a disgrace man I'm very nervous about that shit now honestly You think so? Not so much here It's not like a bigger problem here

Because we kind of They laugh Because they were like we're gonna die We stay here Yeah they kind of But it's just like That shit is a real There's a real fear, man.

It is concerning. It's a real fear. What makes it so bad is that like generally you can just not be doing anything. You're like, I'm getting sent somewhere I don't understand. Like that's that's fucking so horrendous. Yeah. So horrendous. It's like, what the fuck you.

Just like that. Even having your papers isn't enough sometimes. Being a citizen. Yeah. Being prepared for that. I don't know. I have my identification. Let me show you.

And then it'll ignore you. And I'm like, the second amendment is there to protect you from the government. It's all I'm saying. Straight up. That's what it's for. I know. Chud's claim they love that But then if you fucking protected yourself

Per your rights They would get mad If she shot the ice agent Yeah It would have been like I can't believe they shot a fucking federal officer I'm libertarians right now Would be like

I don't know what Oh Oh Oh Fucking due process is fucking gone That thing that's a word To everybody here Doesn't matter dude

Dude process is crap They're like Do do do process It's only for American citizens. Gavius corpus. More like, who cares? I'm sorry, I can't. It's only for American citizen.

Just like, did you read the fucking document? In the document, it literally clarifies people. It's anyone on choice. Literally, literally the document previously state citizens and then purposely language. You are saying that as if they would know that at all. They can't read. They see pictures of letters.

I have to get both. benevolence. I have to get on the power. It's like in Mortal Kombat fucking, it's Armageddon when he had to run to the pyramid. Yeah, Yeah. It has to be me.

It has to be. It just sucks because it has to be me. Or in the new one else, they had the pyramid a new one too for some reason. Well, because they were doing, that's in the, there's an expansion.

Yeah. And basically, so Armageddon is a part of the lore, unfortunately. So they had to, so it had to be in there because the time's being rewritten. Do you remember,

do you remember the Armageddon opening where fucking Johnny just socks the, fuck out of Sonia. That shit is, I remember the opening. He just like, they see it and he's, it was,

is he the one that starts at all? He's the one that throws the first punch. Because I remember it's everyone kind of stops and then, and then they're all racing up there. And that gay, the gayest villain blaze. They fucking.

That guy is, that guy's on fire. They gave so stupid. How many mega conservatives do you think it takes to screwing a light bulb? Do you think? Generally, maybe two.

I think they would all fail. Maybe too. I think they probably wouldn't even try because it's probably, I don't know. I think they would hire. They need light for it. They're not reading. I think they would hire an illegal.

They're hiring illegal and then kill them. And then immediately, yeah. Kill them and then give them to ice and they're like, don't worry, son. We'll say we killed him. It's no problem. He comes to, he walks down the ladder with the screwdriver. He's got a knife. No, man, it's just a p.

And then it's over. Fucking ridiculous. It's not even, doesn't even feel insane. That feels like something that it could happen. Why he's shooting and stabbing me, maintenance hers. Ouch. I don't. Why are you doing that to me, man?

I'm just trying to work. I don't understand why you keep shooting me. He's being very calm about this. It's like that guy in the Sopranos, you like dies in the river. Are you watching it now? I saw the first season of it. I don't know how I feel about it. Like, I think it's, I think it's good, but like, it's, it, that first season ended in a, in a really like kind of like, oh, okay.

Season two and three are the best. Very unceremonia. Yeah, I'll keep watching it. It's good. I, I liked it. It's funnier than I thought it would be. I, if it wasn't 200. I was going to buy a Tony Soprano statue.

What are you saying? There's an action figure, but it was $200. I'm thinking like the Batman in downtown Burbank. Oh, no, like a statue statue. In your fucking house. If that was $200, a statue, like an actual statue, I would buy. What is he like this? It's disappointed at his fucking son.

It looks like some Todd McFarland shit. And I was like, damn, $200, no. I hate my son. I can't do it for $200 crazy. I'm pretty sure he's a sociopath. What's the problem? He's a fag. He's a fang.

That's one of my favorite lines. My favorite part is the scene where it's like, he's good to get his car gets robbed. And he's like, it's the fucking A words. And his wife is like, what is that about? Like, what did you need to say that for? Like, it's obviously them. And it's like, how do you know? I think it's funny because even his wife was like, yo, why would you say that?

There's no one here. How do you know it's anybody? Two black guys did try to kill him. I mean, yes. You might be a little, it might be a little unreasonable. But that instance wasn't that. Like,

it's just the wind at that moment. Sure, yeah. Mello, why are you having sex with monkeys? Is it, is it, like,

I was watching that scene and was like, is it racist that they hired two black people to kill them and they failed? Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah, they can't even do that right. They shot, they shot each other, I think. They can't even fucking kill me. They can't even kill me. They can't even kill a posse and

they can't even. They're so fucking lazy. Where's pussy? That blew my mind when there was a character named pussy Pussy. I mean, they'll call pussy for short. There's no sign of pussy. Where's fucking pussy? Where the fuck is pussy?

I want some pussy so bad. I'm Italian-Americans so bad. It's impossible to get pussy. I'm Italian-American. There's the funny. You want some funny. You want some of me right now. Yes, I want you, pussy. Come here. Because there's, there's the Italian Americans that are. Yeah, the funniest people that doesn't try to be funny. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, they're not trying. Like, most of them don't even aspire to be comedians. You know?

It is just the way they speak. The way they speak. Really just mad is the only guy that I can pick of the That's an Italian comedian, really. Charles is an Italian, right? Who? Sholes. Who? Never mind. Andrew Schultz?

I know where, I know where he lands. I mean, he's Italian. He's kind of, I guess. What's some matter you? He's the only other guy, though. He's more New York than Italian, right? You know what I mean? Yeah.

I think he's actually a fucking, what you call it? One of the, one of the grass-fed whites, you know, the ones that got invaded. I don't know what the fuck is. Shultz, to me, I'm like, that ain't Italian, man. I need a vowel at the end of the name. You know, about the hell on me, I was watching the Supranos, and they say like, we got Maldonado coming to fix it. And I was like, ah, this is why everybody thought it was Italian.

It's a Latin name, bro. This is why everybody thought it was Italian because they fucking... It's a Latin name, dude. It does sound Italian, I'll give it that. Latin. Yeah. I mean, I get it. You know how many Italian's Diaz that had the last name Diaz?

No, I guess, I guess, I don't. It's sort of a common Italian, and particularly over here. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. It just, like, I was watching it. I was like, oh. My name is for jolly stromboli pizza bye What's going on? There was a lot that clicked when I saw that line

In the job You like pepper? You like pepper? Because you are pepper Because you're black, you hear me? I just find that I got an uncle He's retarded Sorry again Adamarito

What's a dumber sounding fictional word chum or scound I still don't know what scound I was going to have sex with those ducks I was gonna have sex with the ducks Fucking sad They said no It's crazy

They left If I come on and they picked them on I don't know why the ducks live All they did was come on him And kick him in the face I don't understand She's fucking like the The fucking therapist

I genuinely think That video should be seen by more people That guy kicking that fucking duck That bird after he'd come on it Because I think that is a video That shows The trajectory of Earth If we don't do a really big chain

What made you want to come On a bird I gotta give you a fucking reason for everything I hate that bitch What I was trying to fucking Pride What are you fucking What are you fucking stunad?

Let's move on Let's move on Fucking stupid What's Okay Heath watching Venezuela From Japanese Taco Bell Gids

You keep talking I'm gonna fucking Come on you and kick on you What do you think about that? You talk to me again I'm gonna make a video game about you And it's gonna be really unflammed It's gonna sell a lot

It's gonna make you look so stupid You have no idea. You're going to learn coding. I'm going to learn Unreal Engine. I'm going to learn Unreal Engine. I'm going to learn Unreal 5. I'm going to fucking use it on you, bitch. You're going to get a fucking Unreal Thermon.

I'm going to give you crazy bouncy. It's going to be so disrespectful. I'm going to use that physics engine on your tips. You know what I mean? You haven't been dead of alive? Bouncing. There's so many scenes have been playing video games, by the way. I didn't expect that.

Yeah. He's playing Mario Kart with his son. They play N64. They play fucking Dreamcast. Yeah. They're loaded. You're a little fucking bitch. You can think it better than me.

You think you better than me just because... Hey, why don't you have sort of the berserk, man? That's fucking crazy. Why are you playing fucking this bullshit? Sox his son. Sox him. I just caught the... It's got the most recent episode of Sacred Simples.

Fucking crazy. You're making fun of Sonic. What's this about? It's so fucking disrespectful. Kill him. We're going to kill these guys. We send pussy after them. I need you to take care of something for me.

Pussy, I need you to kill Colin. Young Colin versus pussy. Young Colin's unscathed interaction. Are you sure? Like, you know, I think they were just joking. Are you sure you want me to take care of this? I don't care. About what?

About what? Like, about what? Yeah, I don't care. This is a fucking steward. It doesn't matter. Stuart, do what you want. It doesn't matter. He's a trebiche of a gay team shooting.

I don't care. Kling him in the head. Why don't you try me shit and get you in it? Do you got an energy weapon of some kind? It's like, are you looking at your fucking mind, Tony? Energy weapons? What is the energy weapons? He's like, yeah, you don't have a plasma rifle.

Listen, if you can get, if you can get Chrissy to kill him with an energy weapon, we'll make up a man. He's fucking joke. He's like, Lucy starts turning into a pussy. He's off. Oh! The rules of the soprados are officially broken. It's like, that thing makes sense for there. I don't know.

He just fucking wet as fucking a st. He turns into a vagina. He's like, you got a job to do still. What are you doing? Well, you fucking stand around there for a drooling. You go fucking,

go kill him. Dude, I couldn't believe a core, I couldn't believe a core plot line in that show is people like being shamed for eating out women. Oh, yeah. That's hilarious.

I had no idea that that was even a thing in the mom. Oh, you know that in, well, just in, in the old school manhood, you're not supposed to do that. Jamaican men don't do that.

That's so crazy. Jamaican men don't eat out there women. Like actually it's a rude thing. And a lot of, I know Armenian guys that don't do it either. Well, it's archaic. And I'm like,

are you serious? Like, you know she's cheating on you, right? This isn't a track suit? Why would I... Why would I go anywhere near this? I don't understand. It's not a car dealership.

This isn't a track suit, a BMW or tax fraud. What am I doing? Is it a tax fraud? He pulls down her pants. This is a tax fraud. I'm so confused. The last thing I was expecting.

Pulls her pants up. Get out of. Yank some of it. Yeah, it's so upset. Come back to me when it's a fucking dealership. When it's a dealership? Why is this not the Mercedes dealership? What is this?

That's crazy. I got the best thing ever for you. Oh, really? This isn't hospice money This isn't hospice money That's crazy I can't go in there It's not Glendale city limits

That's fucking Armenians You know They just love a little of a fucking Thaks Friday In the car dealership so much That's insane Shout out to my Armenian brothers and sisters man Yeah yeah yeah

They're looking at Carmen They're like hey You know What's going on down there? Why is that not a What else did they do? What did they fucking do? Whatever.

Help me on pussy I'm bumming over here I genuinely I sound like a fucking a boiling cat Dude I just genuinely do not know That was the thing

Like the shame for that Oh Yeah So like It's nothing to me So I just don't We're from the online Pornor

That's why So we're from our mind It's like Oh we're not We don't have any of that Machismo bullshit Like we don't have that That's old

Yeah It's gone I guess so Yeah That's like one good thing I'm very much For sure But in general

But yeah, I refuse to do that But that's like spiritual reasons For spiritual reasons Cook that baby Cook that fucking baby Go fish that baby out of the river Out of the fucking Chicago River Go fish dumps dead baby out of that river

Maybe it's still a little bit And cut it into a little bit of a gabagoo You know what I mean? When they first When I heard them saying Gabagool I fucking died You laughed of course That's not real

That's not a fucking real I think it's literally not a real thing Well no it's like Kabakole or something like Yeah And then like a language morphs and it becomes garbage. Just like the same thing as having a, what is their side bitch is called? I forgot what they call them.

Oh, I don't know. A gommage or something like that. Like a gombo, something like that. Something like that. And it's not the way. It morphed in Houston means and then it just is Italian gibberish. Yeah. New Jersey gibberish.

It's Jersey. It's Jersey gibberish. God, that's so funny. Trump's rape child, R.FK. homunculi. Gabikul. And what the fucking gabagoole? I'm gonna shoot this guy in the fucking neck.

As the seasons go on, he's gonna sound even more tony. It's like, it's faith. It feels already ridiculous in the first season. So like, I can't even imagine. It ramps up. Me and Joe watch that show together. This is crazy. I'm like, all right, man.

Is there something in your eyes? And Joe was like, this is ridiculous. Joe's like, this is ridiculous. Like we don't, like, this is what we are. What's a matter where you? What's a matter? What's a matter with you? Fucking.

And then the- Are you going to eat some cool characters you're going to run to. You got to finish the season. I would finish this year. One of my friends, one of our friends who was Italian, I would have to watch that show. I would call it byzone really hard all the time. Oh yeah? Oh, yeah. It was good. Pizon? You're doing good? And he's like, can you please like don't? Like, I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to call me the N-Words. Like a like a derogatory because there was a pizza place called Pison's Pizza. And I didn't understand. I was like, what's, I don't understand what's wrong. It's it's not it's effectively the same thing I understand But it's like I call my friend that because they bother them

Simply as it bother them Oh you have to Is it kind of like the like the soft A Yeah literally Yeah yeah right Or it's just like it's not really offensive Grito what is Aguito Aguido's Aguido they're like

They're just like jockey Italians That's it Yeah like what is that like Jersey Shore Italian Yeah that's what Guido is But it's in reference to someone that is Aguido's reference to Is it like performatively Italian It's like yeah it's like

It's like how It's a genuine guess It's like how they call How like me and Chris are Like how we are Because we are We're Americans Sure

More than we are Hispanic people Sure So it's that reference Hmm Or they call I'm gonna call a Yankee a lot Yank

They call Yankee a lot For my family Fucking Yankee And I'm like You guys are You guys are on the island That sinks sometimes So you're gonna call me

A fucking Yankee Where's your running water You stupid Coconut I'm asshole That's crazy Trump's rape trial RFK, Humongylai What if we all have sex

Kingston be like Kingsen be like I think what happens Is this right And is wrong Cute welder girl at work Told me she was Polly And then invited me to a bar

What do? You don't You didn't hear her yet You'll fucking do it You'll fucking do it Beat that bitch's ass Don't Beat that what do you do it

Next time he speaks to you Give her a pair of gloves And fucking Next time she speaks to you You completely lash out On her you attack her Like you freak the fuck out Like ruin

The workspace experience for everybody. Like you have to get arrested. Like there's, I want there to be SWAT members entering that place, terrified of you. That guy's listening right now?

He's gonna be like, yes, my lord. Yes, my lord. He puts on the shi-stey in trends. It's like putting the mask on, but it's a shi-stey. You become,

I don't know, my niggas. You do like, a cartoon spins, but then you come out looking exactly the same. You just really hurt your back, doing that. That's all you did. Your facial expression's a little bit different.

It's really just because you're dizzy. Somebody stop me, I guess. Somebody help me. Somebody help me. You better check yourself. You better check yourself before you rape yourself. Somebody go me. You better check yourself before you rape yourself. Sween is a slightly less blind Clayton Biggsby EA sports. It's in the sand. What's the opposite of somebody. Somebody help me. myself stop myself

what's up that help hinder myself hinder you I want to throw something softer at you this is too much

there's nothing here that's like throwable really you gotta you go big a go home man go big a fucking bowling ball

dig into the wall take some of it off the fucking foundation I think throwing an AC unit at someone would be like

the ultimate thing that's crazy or a kettlebell or a kettlebell A kettlebell is... Like you hinge it twice and then you fucking... You fucking pole vaulted.

All right, all right. It feels too violent. So there's like something ridiculous, like an eight... Imagine seeing an AC unit being hurled at somebody. Or a crib with the baby in it. There we go.

Doppler. Win. Win! Was that a baby? You gotta know when to stoke them, know when to blow them, know when to say you're getting. know when to come.

Very cool. Nice. Replacing Sweeney's Luba with several dozen men and one. Stupid. Subpar warrior, I'm so sorry, moon dim for the Sega

WorkSphere. This is for Kingston. Plastic Beef is the opposite version of my name, Cardboard Pie, Department of Hor, Markets Phoenix from Pistons of Peace. It'd be like they're raising villages

with a small bird. Excellent. Wouldn't it be without? Without a small bird. I have contempt in my heart right now They're so funny What if Mario shit himself Before a ground pound

I said that's a crazy ass Fucking joke Him to slamming your shitty ass On the floor It explodes out his pants legs Everyone's disgusted Bowser throws up What the hell?

I'm going home This is terrible for property value The fucking bombs the bullet bills Blow their own brains out something funny. He starts spinning around his own shit.

Something funny. Miss human blows up 100 wells in Africa. What the fuck is Yoshi doing that? What the fucking is he doing? The Italian? Is he a dinosaur? I don't fucking know.

Is he Italian? Is the Italian? Or a dinosaur. I can't tell because both of them seem likely. Hey, what do you think, Chrissy? I want drugs. I don't know.

I do love the scene of them digging up the guy they buried. Oh, shit. Yeah. They feel the paper off his face with a shovel. Yeah. He goes, like, is that him? It's like, some fucking coincidence.

If it was... If it was... I'm asking that question's fucking insane. Yeah, I do love that question. I love how stupid Chris he is. He's such a complete jackass. I'm understanding what he is. He is only where he is because he's related to Tony.

Oh, yeah. He has no skills. No. No, he does not. Something funny. Evil Chris be like, I don't understand the jury foot thing. End woman Oz died Me to Wont Daughter Glance

Whatever Very cool Are we doing a year If we can I'm trying to We'll get through it We'll get through it You seem so empty

I only had coffee today And that bagel It's not ideal But we should We gotta do it Goond devil A man without come Do not come

I'm gonna go I don't know. Look at that. He's fucking coming right now. Dude, he was moving like a fucking, like a, like a 208 days later. Yeah, he actually was starting to change. He contained it. So it's like it's on my mind.

Did you see like maybe like if we, if we zoom in maybe a little, we see a little dart with the antidote like hits him? Oh my God. His eyes are red. Have you, um, so 28 weeks later is not, skip it. A lot of people were telling me to skip that. Weeks is not

Weeks is the weakest one I was enjoying it The newest one is actually really good I think I was with pussy And I wanted to get out of there So I left early I see. But I wasn't You take women to see movies

That's crazy Well it's an old school thing to do You know what you do that It's an easy date You're gonna talk You spend more money Than you would normally spend By yourself

And also you're there with a woman Which inherently makes experience worse But I like the experience of a movie theater Actually I like popcorn Without women Yeah you like going by yourself I don't know movies by myself exclusively

I mean, you don't. What? How do you know? Everybody's self and just jack off on your popcorn? Right into my popcorn number. Here, you walk your top some guy. Like, hey, I got a little extra. You want to?

Butter. Butter. Butter. Someone screaming at the back as they're nutty to their popcorn. Butter. Butter. Very good experience. The guy said, grow.

Grow. Grow. And he's jacking off in a stall. God damn. Chasing cars by blow patrol. If I'm gay queer, if I'm just gay queer, would you lie with me and just fuck my whole? It's called saws-all because it's saws-all. That is true.

No, I literally thought about that, but I'm like, but why is, it's zol. It's just because the Z looks cool. I guess. I bet. I bet that's pretty. Z is the coolest-looking letter, I think. Yeah, it's edgy. Is that because of Dragon Ball Z?

It did help. Very likely. X is pretty cool, too, but X also, I don't know. No, like that. Reminds me a Malcolm. You're arranged my whole genitals when I make a sound. I won't even say, oh, I'm gay when I come around. Would you watch Malcolm X in the middle?

Suck a cock, but remain from the underground. Wait, what? Malcolm X in the middle. Life is unfair. I think that's a manned TV bit. Yeah, for sure. It's got to be. I think I actually...

There's no way there's a... That's not you. There's no way there's a joke in 2026 about Malcolm in the middle and Malcolm X that has not already... Right, right, right. It has to, yeah. I think I remember specifically. I'm trying to think who was the actor.

Was it, um, Phil Lamar maybe? He was on Mac, he was on Matt TV? Of course, yeah. I don't remember on Matt TV. A lot of those people were. I remember just being a voice actor mostly.

Mm. That makes sense. Jesus. Look at how great the qualities. I can't even tell. I can't even tell. That could be fucking anything. That looks like Donald Glover.

That looks like Donald Glover. That looks like a bunch of different people. because it's so low quiet. He's like that video that kid getting kicked. We found it for a second. Oh, you fucking found it. That was crazy.

Oh, it's Erie Spears. Of course, there's Erie Spears. It's Ari Spears. It's annoying ass nigga. Nickel G. Germanium, ruthenium, ruthenium, gallium, and etrium. Derek, or he says,

Dirk, listen to live and learn, and then his word zebrahead. We're in the appeal to recent end game timeline. Smitchie the gay, the snark hang is powerfully homer erotic Fister sisters Macar

Rat shit by dirty old Twat 69 assholes tied Star Coffee Kid Collins Recreating weapons Ending on old Colin Defendant throwout From Cum Equator

The fuck is the opposite of the equator Man We'll get that possibly Prime Meridian The opposite equator Well there's no way that's it It ain't no way it's the fuck prime meridian

I give up on you I'm feeling romantical yush Obama drinking flip Michigan water and sprouting an angel's wing

big dangling penis my therapist my therapist told me to find peace to find peace I have to look N word so I bought a du rag but I don't think it's working

that's good stuff I'll put a du rag on my nephew when I get one as soon as I get a chance I'm gonna put a du rag with my little nephew He's going to be very funny

because he's very Mexican It's a good thing to do to a violent child Not that one No Oh is it different one Oh my older one Craig the Canadian Numb

I've been filled with come Up to the brim Clenching so tight It's your boy Shawnee Dee And a man named Diddy Did Dittles people Did Kojima write this

DoorDash Raffed At Grock is this true Response out less boringy Curcing Sweeney with Vitealigo Or Vidaligo But only surrounding His eyes and mouth

You figuratively Starved That adult next month I didn't know that song Why is it no longer smiling? I didn't know that was You didn't know that's what it was called It sounds great

What song? I think that song's terrible Really? I think it's a good meme What song? That fucking The Sonic song Oh yeah

Da-da-da Dain and learn I think that song is Pure cringe But it's great for the memes It works for what the game is Yeah Exactly it's fucking freedom

I think like To me that's like what listen to Megadeth's new song. It's called like, I don't care. It's the gayest fucking thing ever. Because he sounds like he sounds like he's 12 years old. Like, I don't care if you do this. And I don't care about this.

It sucks. I don't even care if you shit on my fucking fit. It's, it. I dare you. That bad. It's, oh. What if Meganeth puts out of an album?

It's just like, it's just him like writing about his scat fetters. Oh, he's listening to it. You looked at me. You looked at me like a dog looks at a fucking fireball. It was so like That was such innocent wonder. Listen how cool that song is.

Start it over. Let him hear a little bit of it. I don't care if you kiss my penis. Turn a little bit. It's so cool. That is so fine. It's a decent riff. It's a rich.

ruined. The instruments are fine. I don't care. And I won't obey. It feels so light. And I'm like, dude, you're in your 60s. You're old. You imagine my dad writing that song? I don't care what the end up is over. I don't care of being aged people I hate time. I don't care that we left dozens of mortars over there, hundreds of them in the same.

That's so, that's way dumber than I was anticipating. It's so. It just came out too. I'm like, wow. You should just turn an abandon to end-word death. I don't care if you push me down the stairs. I don't care if you kill my mom. He's 60 years old.

I don't care if you kill my mom. I don't care if you eat my dog. I don't care if you take him in my rights and throw me in a gulag. I don't care if you're in a house. I don't care if you're in a blouse. It turns into the doctor, too. I can say my airman. Maybe that Dr. Seuss is awesome.

Doctor, Dad. I don't care in a house. I don't care with a mouse. I don't care with a gun. I don't care if it's fun. I don't care if it's poop. I'm gonna eat it anyway. I'm gonna eat it anyway.

And then the rest of the song, it's just gargling over electric guitar rips. And then the drummer, the drummer quits because he's vomiting. You hear the vomiting. The drummer's out. The guitar is just like, he slows down for a quick second.

They just keeps going. I would fuck with that at least. I need your help. I'm getting lightheaded. That bagel and coffee hybrid did not help me. You got to grab something from the fridge. There we go. Do you want to read it?

Oh, God, here we go. There's not much left anyway. Yeah, sure. You figured it started. All right, it starts from the top of this. Just be careful. Okay. I don't care of.

Chris died eating a dead Vietnamese soldier because rations didn't show up for days and he's not a big fan of rice. Nice. In the sixth grade, I got in trouble for laughing at footage of the Challenger explosion. Drip M.H. Lord of Homeless Drip. Okay. How about this one?

What if instead of Star Trek? It was called Not Star, Not Trek. Trump is fighting too thin nail to not spend the last 10 seconds of his life in prison. Obi won't you blow me. Got them Godzilla Blazers done gave me an atomic hug. Dick Cheney getting revived from the pet cemetery and coming back exactly the same. Uh, the come before the poem, uh, the Starlit Bandid, uh, which was it? Won't, won't W. D. W. D. Wally. What the fuck? Did you just say?

Won't, won't W. DeWally? Dally? Oh, I guess that's one of those opposite things. I don't know. Playing dead way, playing dead so well they give me a Vikings funeral. Uh, Derek's humor would be like, what instead of foot in the house of dragons? the dragon saddles were penises and they had to tighten their assholes to I guess ride them Wade Slay 583 Big big old butt cheeks Pepini brothers pushing

Weeputting the Frank Reynolds New Children's book The Horax Don Donkerson Homeless Chris Christopher Raptock Pee what if your daily balls fell off at puberty And your baby teeth grew back

silence Fenn, Ann Yowie connoisseur I came on my belly button and passed out what's called when I wake up It was done licked clean That's saying a lot

Man That's so crazy That's really funny John Strickland Georgetown Jungle Jucer The final secular organization Of Helen Keller's F.A. The fricking known as the Freshers

of Keith David I think this is fucking so weirdly sized. Yeah, I know, I got it. That's like the last seven. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Oh. John Strickland, uh, Jonestown jungle juicer. You need that one? Yeah. Did you? Wait, what are you at? I was at the, um, did you just do the, um, did you do the key David one? Yeah. Okay. I invite

Neil DeGrasseye-Tis on, so he would actually, uh, do it and you fuckers need educating. Mr. Razze's go pre-Ros. I got lockout, lockjaw doing grave hour chips at the dick sucking factory. And all I got was locked truck as previously mentioned. They sunk the city with giant horns. How dare you. Napster of puppets. Kazah, a real boy. Oh, it's reversed. I forgot about Khazah.

Yeah. Yeah, I didn't think about that. I don't know. It was the big one before Limewire. I thought it was like a magic. You know? Kazah. I thought it was like,

Kazan. I guess that was the idea, maybe. It's like, ah, it's magic. What is the name of that show? It's like, about the guy that works with demons on Comedy Central.

I forgot what it's called. Something America. What is it? Wait. I can't help you. Das Guppy. A president of Hap Safety. Just gape it.

If you got an ere. Gap it if you think he's long Just gape it Don't use protection It's the one of the problem Comes along Is that that song? Maybe

You must whip it I ain't got no idea You must whip it Young Swinney's the Gose Monkey in the jungle Down syndrome Asian Talking Call that

Gobbledy go Nice Insane We need We need an hour video Of Just Sweene's laughs Fans unite Asimr Paul Joseph Watson

Strangles you to death For making fun of his hand size many times. Star Tank fans when they see a heavy set black man

with a lazy eye and this is a happy face. So stupid. Majin Micah Bell out of focus Bigfoot. I don't need a not weapon. Derek fucking a dude's ass just to do a 360 move

with his cock buried inside him to flex. Sorry, Ms. Jackson. I don't need a not weapon. That's so stupid. It's really funny. It's infuriating. Just had brain surgery to be more submissive.

Call that a lobotomy. Peasants Graham. Aetherian has the past because he took a lot of his hard ass. Pro Julian Hunter is having a child. Nay from him and rounding out our list as always. King of haphazard. Thank you all. Yay.

For watching. Man. All right. Bye. Yeah. Niggas.