The Snark Tank - #393: N****RINE
Episode Date: January 30, 2026https://www.patreon.com/TheSnarkTank...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
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Tom's waiting to sit back and prepare for some place.
This is what I thought Manifest Destiny was at first.
It's really believing in it happening.
Yeah.
Not, you know, westward expansion and, you know.
The destruction of my ancestors.
I thought it was always that because that's the first time I heard it.
Oh, really?
Yeah, it was.
I thought it was like, Manifest Destiny.
It's like, manifest like with your brain.
You imagine hearing the term Manifest Destiny before a history class?
I thought I did.
What?
You were like three and somebody said Manifest Destiny to you?
No.
I was like maybe like 10 before they really teach you like before they give you the fake, the sort of fake history.
You know, there's like there's bullshit.
There's completely bullshit like elementary stories like this is all the lies.
And then there's like fake, but like right direction.
Isn't that dumb that they do that?
It's, it's, you know, because you know why they do it.
I actually genuinely don't.
Because it would radicalize little kids from the very beginning.
It would, it would, if you, if you as a little child heard about slavery,
imagine a small black child hearing that, hey, people that look like your teacher.
That's why people in your school own people like you.
That would do something to your little brain.
But you're also predisposing, like, children.
To being lied to.
to understand that they're going to be lied to forever.
Yeah, it's crazy.
Which I guess is somewhat true and valuable, I guess.
I don't know if you need to do it that way, though.
It's only valuable because it happens, you know?
Like having a gun is only useful when you live in a place that you need a gun.
Right.
I know what you're saying.
You know, it isn't like a valuable.
You really should learn how to skin and kill bulls.
It's like if I live on a ranch in Texas 300 years ago, you don't need that in a modern one.
world. You need that in New York City. To kill a bull. To know how to kill and skin a bowl and
eat it raw. You should never know how to eat it. You should never learn how to eat something
raw. What do you mean? They never adapt to that. Is that not a valuable skill? No. How is it
not? How is it not? It's detrimental. You will die. You, not if you learn. You can't learn a
bodily function like that. Yes, you can. How do you learn a bodily function, Chris? You,
well, don't you like, isn't it like, uh, exposure therapy sort of? Is that learning exactly? Or is that
Like kind of right it's like it's like cellular learning.
I don't think that's how it works.
I don't think you just I don't think you can digest like raw meat like that.
I bet if you had like a molecule of raw meat every day.
I feel like you do already.
No, no listen.
Listen.
You're misunderstanding.
Oh, I'm sorry.
If you have one molecule, let's say one day it's one molecule of raw meat until eventually.
And then the next day it's two molecules of raw meat.
You understand that.
You understand?
you wouldn't even still you still have a non-noticeable amount of meat I think by this point in your life
really how many molecules are there holy shit at what point does it become a cell
welcome to start take podcast Derek is gone it's me Chris it's hip sweetie Derek is gone
what was he doing he was getting like a dental thing or something something about someone
slapping him in the mouth with a dick real hard and he woke up late right right he's
he's drugged by doctors he was drugged by doctors literally this is true yeah he he literally
just woke up, he said.
Like, me and Chris got here, we were sitting down.
He was like, hey, guys, you're aware I told you I couldn't make it.
We were like, oh.
Yeah, we forgot, to be fair.
This is our fault.
It's the one day, it's, it was weirdly like the one week I decided to be like a little bit
lenient with my calendar and writing things down because I was like, you know what?
I'll remember that he told us that today was kind of iffy.
I'll remember that.
I don't, I haven't.
I did not.
Calenders are for fucking psychopaths.
They're just for people with things going on.
I got things going on, too, but I fly about a seat in my pants.
I have to
I have to mention this
What was that?
We were supposed to go
To a friend of ours
He was having a little birthday thing
We were having a birthday thing
And it was in this barcade
Called mission control
It's quite far
This friend of ours lives quite far
From us to begin with
Right
He's like about 45 minutes south
On a good day
With like decent traffic
Yeah
He really doesn't live that far, actually.
He's far, brother.
He lives, he does not live.
Chris.
It took me an hour and 20 minutes to get there one day.
Chris, you are saying that when we live, dude, our friend, we would go places far before.
I'm not talking about distance-wise.
I'm talking about time.
Okay.
And L.A.
Like, there are people who live close.
I want you guys to understand this.
Santa Monica's close.
I want you guys understand this, right?
Where Chris and I are from, we have definitely last minute went to party.
that were actually for real an hour away.
Right, but they're always that far away.
That's the issue that I have with it.
They're always an hour away.
Maybe give or take five, ten minutes.
I'm not validating what I did also.
I was just wrong.
Yeah, we're going to get to it.
We're going to get to do it.
So we had to, this party is at Mission Control in like Santa Ana.
We're in Burbank.
It's far.
Okay.
So it's like, all right.
Let's go.
He puts in the GPS.
I assume he's a fucking functioning adult.
So he typed it out and put it in right.
Made a mistake.
We're driving, and it's been a suspiciously long time.
I'm feeling fucking ill already.
Like, I was like, that morning I woke up kind of like, I think I have allergies.
And then in the car down there, I was like, I'm definitely ill.
Like, I'm definitely just like, I'm not feeling good.
And so it's been like a concerning amount of time.
And I'm like, man.
And I'm thinking, like, is this bar really 30 minutes south of this friend's house who's already like 45 minutes south?
If so, that's a wild place to throw a party and expect everybody to go to because all of his friends live north of him wildly inconsiderate.
So I'm seething, angry at this friend of ours.
It's like, why would you throw this party so far?
And you typed in, I guess, Mission Viejo.
I typed in Mission.
And then you clicked the first thing to show up.
And I clicked the first thing because of before I put in Mission Control.
And I was like, all right, cool.
Then I had to take it off because at least phone connected first.
Right.
And then.
we were going and we're like, I wonder we're heading.
And Lily's like, why are we near Irvine?
We're so far from where we were.
We were genuinely like deep in the riverside.
We were like, we were on our way to say, we might as well have gone to San Diego at a certain point.
Like we were that, we were halfway to San Diego.
We were about halfway.
That's crazy.
We were about halfway.
That would be like if we were like, oh, we're halfway to Albany.
But we were trying to go to a party and fucking, fucking new Paltz.
Might as well.
might as well go to fucking Albany
although there's nothing in Albany so it's not the same
living in Albany is that college
and constant fucking robbery in the square
place sucks Albany sucks
I don't know I went
one of our good friend was dating a girl
that went to Sunni Albany
I remember I remember and I remember
one time he'd be like yeah come by
and I was like to Albany
yeah why the fuck would it did you go
yeah did you go no
I was like I was invited I was like I'm not going to Albany
because it was like also like it was a group
people that I kind of knew but like not well enough to go to Albany with I'm not gonna
you know three of us you know it was me you Joe it was me Joe Elliott went right Marco went
right dumb idea it was dumb it was to see a girl that I was like I don't know with this
I don't care I didn't see the girl and then what do I care to look at a woman not to
I'm gonna drive we all we all actually hated that girl too we just like we just like we just
really loved we just really love Jalen all right we all love Jalen but we were like
actually I didn't I didn't feel any type of way about it because I could not
Jaylen I never spoke about anything that was last year.
We never really talked as people until like we probably like maybe a year before we moved out here.
We hated her.
We just kind of played video games and like joked around and laughed.
She would say racist shit to Jalen often and I would hear and I'd be like, am I?
Did I?
Did I?
Did you say racist shit to him?
Like racist shit.
Like really?
It's like, but I'm just saying type shit.
Like 2026 racist shit or like 2014 racist shit?
It was like racist enough for me to be like,
That is, you shouldn't be saying that to someone that's black.
Especially if you're dating them.
It's the kind of shit that if really said that to me, you'd be like, you'd put me to say,
you like, yo, did you, are you okay with that?
I mean, yeah, I said, I'll tell that I tell that to you now.
Exactly.
And she's not a bigot.
Yeah.
As a bigot.
She just beats you with lead pipes.
She does not beat me anymore.
You don't beat me anymore.
I fought back once.
She was like, I don't get it.
But dude, so we were in this car for like an hour longer than we had to be.
Because it was like 30 minutes.
All together.
Because it was 30 minutes away from the party after 40 minutes to travel and then 30 minutes back from where we came.
We pulled to the side and you're like something's wrong here and you were like, do click Mission Viejo?
And I was like, oh, possibly.
You know what's fucked up?
What made it worse is that I passed out because I was getting car sick.
So I just like turned off.
You know what's fucked up about it too?
Is that like I normally, this is a trust issue for me.
But like normally whenever I'm going long distances in a car with.
other people driving. I also have the GPS running just in case something fucks up on their end.
And this was the one time I was like, I'm just not going to do that. My battery's low, so I didn't
want to lose it. So I was like, I'll just trust that they put the fucking correct place in.
Because I'm like, I triple check everything. Like I like, I check my wallet. I check for my
wallet phones and keys genuinely probably like five times a day if I'm out. Because I've lost,
I've had one experience why I lost my wallet. And it was so scary that was like, I'm never doing that again.
You are a entire.
Your personality is based sheerly on trauma.
Yeah, probably.
You're a traumatized person.
Yeah, you know, whatever.
I can't untramatize, you know?
You really, that is literally all life is trying to do is untramatize yourself.
I don't know how to do that, really.
I mean, hey, I can play video games.
Dude, I'm really, I'm really solid at world building and D&D, but everything else is a fucking problem.
I'm tripping.
Well, anyway, I don't know.
Derek's dead.
RIP.
RIP Marcus.
What if he comes back and he's white?
That'd be interesting.
But it's the same facial.
It's the same facial.
He's not like...
That's the weirdest thing to me.
Like, look, look,
to al-bino people, I get it.
I'm a person of mixed angestine.
I look peculiar myself.
I understand that I'm like a regular black person.
But seeing someone like just be like,
a white-skinned black man really bothers me.
It's like a midget or a trans person.
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You wore it everywhere.
Then your BFF started glaring it, which was cute until they unfriended you and took it with them,
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Anyway, now you're on eBay.
And there it is, same tea from the same tour.
Still living in your memory, rent-free forever.
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I'm sorry, what?
It's like a measure of transferers.
There's nothing wrong with it, but it's like a little, it's like, you know, catches your attention.
I'm sorry.
What, it doesn't catch your attention?
Being a little person?
Certainly.
Do you remember when we walked by?
We walked by a little person, and I was like, I can't believe it's a little person.
I haven't seen, it's, I don't know if it's like, maybe like the elements are too harsh for them or something, but I never see them outside.
I only ever see them in, like, movies or like in chocolate factories or something.
That's also a movie.
Oh, yeah.
You didn't go to chocolate.
I thought I experienced that.
You thought you were, you are, you do remind me of the kid.
Like, what is his name?
He's name?
Willie Wonka.
No.
Charlie Bucket.
You are a Charlie-esque child.
Charlie Bucket and Grandpa Pale.
That's crazy.
He was grandpa pale.
He's almost gone.
Oh, yeah, because he's pale.
He's like, he's literally.
You know he died right after that experience.
He died.
He died.
He died.
He died during the credits.
He was happy as fuck.
There's a post-credit seed of him like withering.
Do you guys remember that you remember that scene?
He's like in the thing.
He's dead.
I'm so used to saying you guys.
He's dead in that fucking air tunnel thing.
His body's being like blown up.
And Charlie is like...
It's like those things where people like skydive and they try to catch the money.
Yeah, except that is a dead.
Dead old man.
Yeah, he's a little guy.
That's the sort of depression, right?
I'm guessing, right?
If you're a dead body in those things, are you heavier?
Because it's like dead weight?
That can't be true, right?
I don't think...
I don't know how dead weight really works, man.
I think I have an idea of it.
Yeah, I don't really understand.
Because I feel like so much of your body is affluence by your muscles working.
When you're dead is just like, you're just like, yeah, whatever.
There's probably somebody in the audience who's like who like works with like literal dead people.
I literally killed people.
So I know 100% how this work.
I know exactly the way the spine folds in the perfect place to break it to put a guy in a fucking garbage can and burn him alive.
You know, there's the place.
What are you experiencing?
The garbage can and burn him alive part got me.
I was out.
I almost pierced through that idea with it.
I was like, holy shit, that's insane.
Cracket somebody.
You're talking a match on it.
It would be good because it would just stink
It would just reek
And it would take a long time to burn
I'm pretty sure the fire would go
Before the body's really burned enough
Yeah it's not even that good
Acid is the way to go
Yeah
Not that I'm giving advice
But I mean
This is common knowledge
I think if anybody knows crime
Disposing like organic material
Acids the best way to go
Yeah fire is not
Fire you'd think would be amazing
But it's actually like
It's actually not particularly good
It's just brutal actually
It's more brutal than anything else
Yeah
Well
I don't know
What is what's a what's
been going on. What's been going on in the news?
Kanye is on an apology tour.
After what? How long has it been like eight years of like a psychotic manic episode?
I don't know, man. How do you feel about it? You're a Kanye guy or you were a Kanye guy.
Yeah, it was a huge guy. How do you feel about it now that he's like apologizing? Because he is insane.
So he can, that is technically a defense in some way. I think at this moment I can't expect anything until he like actively like is medicated and proving over.
over again he's fine he's got to be active you have to he has to prove he's got to be like a
normal he's got to be like a normal guy for like 10 straight years probably right no like
he has to be actively like hey i was tripping how do you trip that hard well clearly mental
issues right but like i don't know it's just difficult for me to conceptualize uh yeah crazy
yeah because you're not that crazy at least front facing not in that way no yeah i'm i'm i'm
I'm tripping but like in a different direction.
Yeah.
Yeah,
it's a very,
very different.
Like not racist tripping,
you know,
like that's like,
no.
Like,
it's not,
I'm just not crazy.
Yeah.
Like,
I don't,
you couldn't catch me
putting on a clan outfit.
Like,
that's one of my lines.
No,
but that's,
but that's because you'd be nimble
enough to avoid
being seen in one.
I wouldn't do that outside.
You would wear,
you've said that you would buy like the,
the,
the,
the red one?
Yeah,
the red one.
Because I thought it was the Power Rangers
ninja costume.
I wouldn't
buy it now when I was thinking they could have definitely got me in one though I guess
walking house my grandmother explodes do you think he's gonna come out look do you think he's
gonna come out of the new album I mean he's probably he's I think he's never gonna stop making
music I think he saw Nick Fuentes and all them to his music he was like oh in like a moment
of like clarity his old self like he was like yo yo dude stop I don't know he's always been
crazy as far as I've been as long as I've been aware of Kanye OS he's been crazy so like
It's hard for me to really understand.
He has been neurotic forever because people that people don't just end up crazy randomly.
Well, neurotic is different than crazy, I think.
Larry David's neurotic.
It's a stage, though.
Maybe.
I don't know if it's a stage.
Absolutely.
It's like a different thing entirely.
I think most eccentric, sorry.
He's a bosom and eccentric.
Sure.
And I think eccentric people with the right, the right pushings and pullings, they just go nuts.
Yeah.
And I think he got the perfect storm of being way too.
rich, way too famous, and closedly homosexual, I guess.
Yeah, there was that song about his cousin.
Hey, man.
I haven't heard of been there, but some people might have.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Well, never fuck the cousin.
I like that you have to clarify that.
It's, dude, it's kind of common, man.
What?
Fucking your cousins, it's kind of common.
How common could that possibly be?
It's pretty common, I feel like, man.
No way.
I feel like it's kind of common, dude.
I think it's common to probably have a crush
a cousin. I think that's probably true. I think it's kind of common to fuck your cousins, man.
I feel like it's like not an uncommon. I think it's less common for us in America, particularly
in New York City and state, New York City and state. But I think the more you get from out of there
and you get to the middle, it becomes like, oh, like. The further way you get from metropolitan areas,
the more the inbreeding begins. You know what I mean? Yeah. There's like a fever pitch in the middle
place. It's like, it's happening left
and right, and then it kind of like calms down
again. I've known you my whole life. I love
you. Why don't I have sex with my
guy cousin? Because, you know, we're just bored.
That's a real thing that people think. Yeah, I'm
aware.
So that's why so many fucking, no disrespect,
are my British family over there, my
British brothers and sisters. Oh, they're lounging
in it, man. Dog, Irish and British
niggas, man. It's like,
you like a potato
circumstantially? That's a gene.
puddle, man. It's not a gene puddle. That's a
gene pub. Isn't that
bigger? No, it's
grosser, though. That's true.
I was thinking more gene pool.
Gene drop.
Those poor guys
over there, man. No shade to the European people out there
man. You guys were terrible once, but you guys are fine
now. I fuck with you all now.
You guys are decent people now. You're better than
here. I mean, it doesn't take a lot now.
We just had the ice thing again. I can't
remember if we talked about it on the last show. I think it happened
after we recorded. What, that, uh, that,
that lawful citizen being mag dumped.
That's so, and kneeled on. It's so,
how do you?
Hey man.
He had a phone, dude. He had a phone and he had his hand up.
He was protecting somebody. He was protecting somebody. He was
protecting someone. They disarmed him. And then killed him.
And then mag dumped into him. Actually executed him. Yeah. Like literally.
I mean, the Renee Good thing was also.
execution, but like this was like so
blatant. It's crazy. Renee, good thing, right?
It was
an uncomplently
completely
overreacted
but she was
an complete idiot could have perceived a threat there.
You know, like, oh my God, I got scared
to something stupid. This was just a guy.
Well, the first shot, maybe. Maybe the first shot.
The second shots are like, that's execution. You're an executor.
He shot her three times. Yeah, you're a murderer.
He's a murderer. He's like, you're a psychopath
Path murderer.
Yeah.
I wish nothing but terrible things on you.
But Kinks did.
There weren't any riots after Charlie Kirk cut killed.
There weren't any violent protests after Charlie Kirk cut killed.
Did it three black children get hung?
Mm.
Mm.
Also, didn't the guy who killed him immediately get arrested?
Hmm.
Curious.
Wasn't there immediate accountability for that individual?
Yeah, for a slug getting shot.
Curious.
Hmm.
Curious.
But then he had a weapon.
Yeah.
Legally.
Yeah.
There's literally a video of him reading a eulogy to somebody that just died.
Anyway, Kyle Rittenhouse is cool.
Rifle.
Rifle.
Rifle.
Rifle.
Rifle.
It's even crazy.
Walking up to the cops.
Hey, guys, I'm on your side.
You imagine if a Burger King employee?
Like, you know, you ever see those people like, we're walking a Burger King with
or whatever just like, oh, second amendment?
You don't have a Burger King employer's like, a rifle.
Just like fucking a headshot of the guy.
Like, you, I don't know, man.
It's just such a everything's, people are cooked, dude.
It's so bad that even.
I saw Asmond Gold even.
And Asman Gold's retarded, like fundamentally.
You know, he's, he's literally illiterate.
He looks like, he looks like one of the characters in Resident Evil fucking eight.
He looks like a rape atron arc.
He looks like a rape atronarch.
Oh, right.
I forgot.
Like an atron arc that is based solely on the process of being raped.
That's not.
What a worthless conjuration.
Why would you conjure that?
Because I know people got to be messing with magic in some wild ways, you know.
Yeah, for sure.
Someone probably put the wrong ruin in it.
It's like, oh, no, instead of a rape, they're raped one.
No.
But dude, even that guy was like, yeah, if they disarmed him first and then killed him, they executed him.
And I'm like, bro, you know how bad?
You know how objectively fucked it has to be for you, for Asmond Gold to see it?
I love it, man.
I love it.
I think they think the bubble's not going to pop.
That's what it is right now.
That's all it is.
See, well, I think they're betting in some way on it.
I think what they want is like somebody to kill a nice officer
So that way they can be like, all right, military martial law or whatever
Or a, you know, Insurrection Act or whatever you want to call it
But it's I mean, that's what he's doing
Yeah, he's literally trying to.
I don't even know if he specifically thinks that's what he's doing, but the people around him certainly want that to happen.
Yeah, like it I think he's too stupid to actually plan anything.
What's happening is he's actively trying to stir the pot as much as possible.
So the insurrection act happens.
Yeah.
So he can't leave office.
when he, look.
He's going to die before that even happens, to be fair.
That's what's the tragic part of it is that like,
you see the Ted Cruz thing is like you're losing the House and the Senate,
you're going to constantly be impeached.
Like that's going to happen to you seriously like.
The tragic thing about it though is that he's not going to live to the end of this term.
Yeah.
So people aren't going to see him try to overstay, right?
And so people are going to be like, oh, he wouldn't, he would have left.
He would have left office if like the end of his term came up.
They think that that's what would happen.
And it's only because he's going to die before he's allowed to do it or he's able to do it.
Because he's fucking, he's shambly.
His talking is bad.
He's, he's on the way out.
He's on the way out.
That's a modern Trump impression, which is lame.
It's not fun.
It's not as fun as, you know.
He's, he's on his way out.
He's, he's going to have his, he's just going to try to bro with the pot as much as he can.
before he leaves.
That's it.
That's all it's going to happen.
He's going to try to do all that dumb shit.
All that has to happen now is that we have to make sure that this mentality
doesn't come back again.
On eBay, every find has a story.
Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea.
Not just a tea.
The band tea.
From the last show your favorite band ever played.
You wore it everywhere.
Then your BFF started glaring it,
which is cute until they unfriended you and took it with them.
which was not so cute.
Anyway, now you're on eBay.
And there it is.
Same T, from the same tour.
Still living in your memory, rent-free, forever.
See?
The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you.
But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your ex-BFF stole back.
It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught
than heroically gave to the kid next to you.
And where else are you going to find your first car?
The one you wish you'd never sold, but now,
You finally get the chance to take back home for good this time.
Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story.
eBay, things people love.
At Arizona State University, we're bringing world-class education from our globally acclaimed faculty to you.
Earn your degree from the nation's most innovative university online.
That's a degree better.
Learn more at asuonline.asu.org.edu.
I don't know how you do that.
This is Nazism, like, like, actually.
Like it's actually Nazi shit like
Like it's like really
It's it's it's here's what I would say
It's closer than it ever
Has reasonably be ever has been in America
It's why that's how I feel about it
It's not it's not one to one obviously
Because there's differences inherent
It's not as inherently brutal
But it is like it is it's so much closer than it
It reasonably should have ever got
The ice shit is literally like that's a secret mass police force
It's like that is literally the same thing as like hey knock on your door
Is there a Jew?
upstairs.
It's the same thing.
It is.
It's fucking crazy.
They're not sending them to, well, they are sending them to a camp, but it's, it's different.
It's different.
It's different.
It's different.
It is literally different, but it's also, you know, it's spiritually kind of.
If they could, they would.
Yeah.
It's kind of one of those things.
Like, if it wasn't so brazen, they would, they would do it.
Although, like, at this point, I don't even know what's not brazen enough.
You know what's going to fight the tough fuck up?
The good old Democratic Party.
They're going to shit, yeah.
They're going to shit, yeah.
They're going to shit somehow.
I know.
We have a layup.
We have a literal clean shot.
Your sniper muzzle is on the forehead of your opponent.
You're going to do is pull the trigger.
It's going to turn your camera a little bit when you pull the trigger.
It's so incompetent, man.
It's so crazy.
It's really bad, man.
Zeran's doing a good job, though.
I mean, in New York City.
Of course, it's a good job.
And everybody said it's impossible.
We're all moving.
And it's like, are you sure?
Where did you move to?
Did you see that they were like, they got the snow situation handled?
Completely.
Fucking immediately.
Insane.
Isn't it crazy how?
Like government can't help you, but they just choose not too.
You know where snow is often a fucking horrible mess?
In New York.
It literally makes power outages.
Dude, I honestly thought like it was going to be...
I mean, I'm so used to snowstorms wreaking havoc in that city
and just making things like...
Do you remember the 2014 one or like the 2015 one
where it was like that crazy one
where like Central Park was like...
I remember only two really horrible snowstorms.
I remember the one in 2004.
That was when there was like a citywide...
blackout. That was the horrible one. That wasn't a storm though, was it? It was just a,
it was, uh, just like transformers blowing. I guess, but I remember it being a lot of snow.
Sure. And then there being like blackouts. It's why I was in the Bronx. I remember Thomas Edison being
like, dude, that we're gonna try. That big blackout, I remember walking out of an elevator like this,
like, I think maybe a couple seconds before like the whole power went out. I remember that would
have been so strong. I mean, I've been stuck in elevators before. I literally, have been stuck in an elevator?
Never. I'd go crazy. I've been stuck in.
four elevators in my entire life.
I'm not,
I'm not,
I'm not a good,
I,
it's not even not,
like,
I'm not, like,
bad at dealing with,
like,
being in confined spaces.
It would just really bother me
if I was with anyone.
Yeah.
Because then now I'm trapped with a potential,
because it's New York,
a lot of people are motioned,
but they're crazy.
Like,
a lot of people are crazy,
but they're going to do something,
so you don't get stuck with they're crazy.
Right, right.
But in an elevator,
New York,
I don't know who the fuck I'm stuck with.
They're motioned.
They're like,
they're like,
they're crazy,
but they're on their way somewhere.
Yeah, like some, they're going to bring
that bullshit to somebody else. They would never
redirect it to you, you know? And if they
do, they're going to move on to somebody else
immediately. You imagine it's stuck in an elevator
with like a fucking 5%er.
What's a 5%? Like one of the fucking
third, the 13th tribe of Islam
of Judaism and
like the black, the black Israelites. And you're
just stuck in an elevator with them. You're like,
oh my, you would be even funnier
because you're just
you just don't fit the
Puerto Rican in the African industry, brother,
you're part of diaspora.
Like, maybe I have full lips.
I don't know.
Maybe, yeah.
And then you just stuck in there.
They came from somewhere.
And then it starts.
And then the seed gets planted.
Especially at like 18 year old you,
the seed gets planted.
And you're like,
holy shit, maybe.
I don't know.
I don't know anything about the black is real lights,
really.
Like, I think I looked into it once
and I was like, that's weird.
And then I just stay away from it.
Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to enjoy.
That's how you open up and you like,
oh, never mind.
He put it away.
Right.
That was me with the Republican Party.
I was like, oh, never mind.
Oh.
Ooh, I don't know.
Isn't it crazy, though, how much worse it's gone?
Like how much a Romney would be like, oh, nice.
It is insane that Dick Cheney is probably way less shitty than what we have right now.
And that nigg is evil.
That nigg is evil.
He was like the precursor kind of, you know what I mean?
Like, he was like the, he was like the canary and the coal mine in a lot of ways.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you were a bird.
I think the modern Republican Party is so funny because they're just, they're just insane.
In a way that's like sort of cute.
It's like, aw.
Yeah, it's interesting because like, I sit here and like hate the Democratic Party all day.
But they just, I don't know, they can't bring themselves to do it.
I guess some do, I guess, to their credit.
I've had some people in my comments.
It's like, yeah, this is not, you know, this is not at all what I had in mind.
And it's like, at least there's some self-awareness, but it's not.
It's so crazy to me.
No, those aren't Republicans.
Those are just people that don't care.
They're libertarians, probably.
They're like, you know what I mean?
Like, they're not fundamentally.
They're center people.
Yeah, they're center people.
You're not a Republican.
They like guns.
On eBay, every find has a story.
Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea.
Not just a tea.
The band tea.
From the last show your favorite band ever played.
You wore it everywhere.
Then your BFF started glaring it,
which is cute.
until they unfriended you and took it with them,
which was not so cute.
Anyway, now you're on eBay.
And there it is, same tea from the same tour.
Still living in your memory, rent-free forever.
See?
The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you.
But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your XBFF stole back.
It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught
than heroically gave to the kid next to you.
And where else are you going to find your first?
car. The one you wish you'd never sold, but now, you finally get the chance to take back home
for good this time. Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story. eBay, things people love.
I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us
who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and
Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. Um, I think,
I think I saw billboarded years recently that said 20 billion one.
20 billion is an insane number.
Yeah, 20 billion recovered.
It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.
And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?
What would I do if I got into an accident?
Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.
That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open.
Our call center is always waiting to take your call.
24-7, 365.
Wow.
Dan Morgan.
From Morgan and Morgan,
America's Large Injury Law,
from thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me.
Visit for the people.com for an office near you.
So, like, and they think that makes them overbo-
Often just white people that got upset with being...
I like a gun.
I mean, I don't like guns, but...
I think they're kind of cool.
I don't like guns.
I don't like guns.
But that's the only reason why I have that feeling about guns.
I think they're like, they're whatever.
Do you feel the same way about swords?
if you saw sword violence?
Yeah,
probably.
Swords are still cool.
Yeah, they're aesthetically cooler,
but there's a degree.
You see,
there's a difference, right?
A coward can walk into a...
Would you rather be attacked
with a gun or a sword?
I guess gun because gun is
more lethal, so you die faster?
Yeah.
It's both more lethal
and less lethal in the same way.
Because you can get shot in the leg
and he's like, that's bad.
But like, dude, a sword...
Like, a sword laceration's bad.
A sword laceration is...
Like, I don't think people understand.
Because you can't really do anything about it.
No, you're just a problem.
You're just like, you're split.
You just get wish-boned.
Yeah.
And then you're just like, you're just like string cheese, basically.
Yeah, like, they're going to have to sew up parts of you that really shouldn't be sewed.
So, like, it's like, oh, you should just.
Yeah.
Might as well go.
I think swords are cooler aesthetically because they're, they're like, they embody a time we had to be a warrior to wield it.
Yeah, I guess.
Even for guns, you need to be a good, well, not even you need to be.
be good, but you can be
insane with guns.
But not the same way, because you're always, a person
that's really good with a gun is not near you ever.
Right, I know you mean. They're always, like,
away from you. Well, unless you
protest nice. Unless you're
a, uh, fucking, uh, fucking
they really are killing, like the worst of evil.
It's just like, uh, this, this, uh,
this, uh, this, uh, this, uh, VA nurse.
Both white.
Very funny.
Uh, if they're,
killing if they're killing white human beings like that it's like what do you think is happening at
those camps those little brown babies they're probably juggling them did you see they took the two-year-old
they took a two-year-old dude yeah it's a two-year-old that's a that's a child well the terror you know
they say the terrible twos yeah man you got to lock them up yeah dude you know it's a baby it's it's it's a
it's a baby immigrant ah yeah that it chose to be here I don't know I don't know I just don't
understand why it's not okay people are here let's make it process to expedite their citizenship
and then then make stauncher laws for immigrating here that is just the best way to go about it
yeah it's it's like it's it's so objectively like well it's already happened let's fix the problem
that's going on right now the thing it's crazy about it's just like if you want to get rid of criminals
like go ahead get rid of criminals i don't think anybody sitting here being like oh you know if you're
a duh if you come here illegally and then you rape a baby i don't think anybody's going to be like
let that guy stay.
No, I get rid of him.
But like, you're just getting rid of children and like moms.
You don't do anything.
It just, it ain't.
I think the audacity as Americans to think you have the right to get rid of anyone from this country is insane.
Well, I'm just, I disagree with that.
I think, I think, no, I think like, sorry, I think getting rid of people that immigrate here expecting better opportunities.
Oh, yeah.
People that are criminals.
Like, obviously we need evicted a criminal population from this country in general.
Sure.
Yeah.
And I think the best way to do that.
is reform.
We should do that with some natural board criminals quite frankly.
Oh, yeah.
I think the best thing is reform.
I don't think it's like, oh, kicking niggas out, you know?
Granted violent crime, you need to be incarcerated.
You can't be in population committing violent crime.
Yeah, yeah.
Duh.
You know, but you reform them by teaching them what they did so they understand not do it again.
Yeah.
I think a lot of people, even Cleveland Palestinians haven't seen reform work.
I think that's the biggest problem with this country in general when it comes to the prison industrial complex.
We've never seen reform.
So it's like, yeah, yeah.
Oh, they're a criminal.
And they reactivate.
It's like, yeah, but look at anyone that's reformed and they're like the most productive people in their communities.
I think there should be some strikes rules, though, because there was that one guy on the train where I was just like, they let him out that many times.
That's crazy, bro.
Like, come on.
But that wasn't reform.
That was lack of medication.
That is true.
And also nobody, that's the thing that's weird about that situation.
People think like people were like defending that or whatever.
Not a single person that I've ever seen was like, oh, you have glad that got out to kill that lady.
It was like, oh, he should have still been.
Yeah.
I think I should have been in jail or probably somewhere to help him,
not just let him back in society,
which you can do that.
Someone can just come and check you out and you're fucking back out.
You're like, what the, like, what is?
That's crazy.
Whatever, man.
We're in the twilight of whatever fucking empire this is,
so we'll see how it goes.
I wonder what the country's going to be named in 10 years, you know?
Probably.
I wonder if it'll be different.
The United Emirates of it.
United Arab Emirates.
Trump just sells the country.
We sold America.
We sold the United States to...
From a bottle of pop and some Viagra.
We sold it for Bitcoin.
We love the Bitcoin.
I mean, I don't know, man.
Anyone that voted for this, I want you guys understand that you are the biggest,
biggest fucking retard ever.
You guys are all so fucking stupid.
I can't humanize you.
I can't look at you and be like, I can't look at you and be like,
I got fooled.
Everyone in their mom was telling you guys what's going to fucking.
happen. I can't, I can't, I cannot do that for you. I cannot. I could see it in 2016.
I could not see the same 16. I could, I could not. Because in 2016,
because in 2016, the audacity of the Democratic Party to do what they did was like, there's a lot of votes there that were like protest votes that were like, all right.
You want to do this. Fuck you. This is what happens when you don't do it. I, I, I, and that makes sense to me.
2020 makes significantly less sense to me.
2024, you're, you're just insane.
You're just an insane person.
Because what do you mean this guy like, he's pulling crypto scams?
He's like pretending to not know Epstein.
Like all this side.
It's like it's flagrant.
It's out in the open.
So like, what do you, what are you doing?
This isn't like unleashing a bull in the China shot because they deserve it now.
You know what I mean?
Like, this is a very different thing.
And also, he doesn't have the guardrails that were there during his 2016 turn.
Like, he didn't...
Because he has all three.
Right.
Like, that's why I wasn't really that worried about 2016, to be honest with you.
Because he had this, like, kind of, like, there were guardrails in place that kind of derailed a lot of what he tried to do and wanted to do.
Now that's not there anymore.
And so, like, what do you mean you got fooled by the used car salesman reaction?
reality TV show
bankrupt
Like he's bankrupted
Like what do you mean
This guy fooled you
Like I do I do quite like
But the thing is that Chris
This is one thing
He was that before
No I understand
But like there are people
Here's what I'll say
Like there are people who knew that
Right
But it was like there were people
Who voted in that
Like I didn't vote in that
That election by the way
I don't think
2016
I voted for Bernie Sanders
And then they screwed him
Out of the primary
And I was like
All right fuck off
But I understand
Look I understand
The idea of being mad
But I
still didn't vote for trauma.
I'm not having mad.
I get it, right?
Like it's like obviously actively the Democratic, the progressive party was undercut.
That's when I realized the Democratic Party isn't the progressive party at all.
No, no, no, no.
That's when I was like, oh, they would see that and they'd be like, oh, shit, we got to get our act together.
That was the hope.
I guess not, you know.
And then, but like, I don't know.
I know who the guy is.
I was like, oh, this guy is a piece of shit.
From the moment he-
If you grew up in New York, you know who that guy is.
From the moment he was like, Obama's not a citizen.
I was like, bro, what?
kind of lie is that even like that's not even that is such an egregiously disrespectful lie yeah because
it's just like objectively false it's like it's like inciting violence against him actively it's
yeah look i don't i don't want to turn away people who are like seeing how crazy it's going i look
and then like under like understanding like oh if if you if you kind of have a change of heart whatever
that's cool but no it's it it it does blow my mind that it took this much for you to see i am
What every reasonable person saw.
I'm happy for people to understand.
Like, someone getting out of the shadows of the fog and being like, oh, shit, I was in the thick of it.
Yeah.
Always Kuduro You're still a fucking retard.
You got to contend with the fact that you are at least somewhat.
You've got to look at yourself a little bit and be like, fuck, I was retarded.
You're that guy in the mirror of Quantum Leaf.
Like, you're that guy.
Oh, my God.
You go to the fucking screen and you're like, oh, that's a clip.
I got to find that clip and use it.
But like, you're that, you're that guy.
And it's, it's fine that you're that guy.
Because now you know you're that guy.
Now you push on knowing.
Knowledge is the first step.
Acknowledging.
You're like, oh, like, I know what I was that guy.
But you can't, you can't look at me.
But, man, it's like, the thing I won't tolerate is like there was just no way of knowing.
Because brother.
That's the Schultz and, uh, and, uh, Brandon Shaw.
Not been in the shop.
We had no way.
How could we have known?
We can't see the future.
It's like, you don't have to see the future.
You just know that a con man's going to con people.
What are you fucking retarded?
He was selling phones.
What do you mean?
He's selling fake phones.
He had a coin.
He had a coin.
I'm not voting for any.
I'm not voting for anyone that is endorsing a fucking cryptocurrency for themselves.
But I think us as New Yorkers, we see that.
We're like, that's the guy on the street trying to pawn his CD on you.
I'm not, I don't want that guy as president.
You know?
Like, I think we have.
like an experience with people like that like egomaniacs and you know rich out of touch people
because they're not really that out of reach in new york you kind of find yourselves if you're in
new york city at all you find yourself you find yourselves in bars or in places with that kind
of person and you hear the way they talk you know so you know like oh yeah that guy's complete
bullshit you know even i knew that in 2016 you can smell a bullshitter if you're if you're someone
from an area full of bullshit.
My feeling in 2016 was like, you deserve this, really.
Like, for throwing away, like, to bet it on Hillary Clinton was so fucking obviously crazy.
That, like, I was like, you know what?
I'm not going to vote for this guy, but I just, I can't in good conscience.
Like, you deserve to know that what you've done has fucked us.
It made me sick.
And hopefully, hopefully this fixes you.
Hopefully this, like, writes you.
And then it just didn't.
On eBay, every find has a story.
Like, if you're looking for a.
vintage band tea, not just a tea, the band tea, from the last show your favorite band ever played.
You wore it everywhere. Then, your BFF started glaring it, which is cute until they unfriended
you and took it with them, which was not so cute. Anyway, now you're on eBay. And there it is,
same tea from the same tour, still living in your memory, rent-free forever. See, the things you love
have a way of finding their way back to you.
But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your XBFF stole back.
It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught,
then heroically gave to the kid next to you.
And where else are you going to find your first car?
The one you wish you'd never sold, but now,
you finally get the chance to take back home for good this time.
Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story.
eBay, things people love.
I've got Dan Morgan here on the last.
the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.
I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's
largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said
$20 billion. $20 billion is an insane number. Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think,
somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army
grows, so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?
What would I do if I got into an accident?
Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.
That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open, our call center is always waiting to take your call.
24-7, 365.
Wow.
Dan Morgan.
From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me.
Visit for the people.com for an office near you.
We got lucky in 2020 because people were just sick of the shit.
And so they just voted
It was just this again
It's like oh
Yeah
This is why Gavin Newsom I think is going to win
Whenever he pops up
Right we get we get a
We get a
We get a
A Democratic person
There's shitheads
But they recover the economy
And then a Republican comes in
And rapes it
Shits the bed
Yeah
Then we get a Democrat
They fucking
They get things on a better direction
And then our public
Comes in and shits the bed
Isn't that crazy how that's been
The story our entire life
Our entire like
Sentient lives
Isn't that fucking insane?
The only time happened really twice was what his name?
Was Bush, right?
What do you mean?
Bush got two terms, right?
Well, no, Bush got two terms, but like he inherited the Clinton economy and then he just
fucking tanked it.
And then Obama inherited Bush's fucked mess.
Obama came out.
And then fixed it.
Dude, I remember it.
Like, that's true.
I mean, Obama sucks.
But he fixed a lot of shit, at least in some areas, economically.
And then Trump comes in.
He's like, wow, the economy's so good.
Like, yeah, I remember the Obama economy.
It's pretty fucking good.
Like, there's elements of it.
Like, we were like young kids, so we were like kind of dirt poor anyway.
But like, that shit was.
It was a, it was not bad.
It was a good time to be an American because we kind of.
It's like the last time.
We deluded ourselves into thinking, oh, the world's in a better spot.
We got a, we got a black man as a president.
That's a, we're really moving forward.
And then the whole wokeness thing became a thing.
And it was like, oh.
You remember when it was like, really?
reasonable to think like um do you remember like when they did the effigies of obama when he won
do you remember that when they were burning effigies like it was fucking i don't even know like
prehistory fucking caveman people effigies are crazy man burning an effigy of the guy is crazy
burning an effigies in general that's still being around people knowing about that
bothers me well that's wrong with that ever do you know like an effig no what if we made an
i was christian that shit's terrifying to me partially even though i don't believe that shit anymore
Do you think it's like voodoo kind of?
Yeah, unfortunately.
Like, do you think, like, if you burn an effigy, like something happens to the guy?
No.
Like, they get like a little...
I believe intent is a thing to a degree.
I think if enough people hate at you, you'll die because someone will kill you.
No.
Well, I mean, that's not really the same.
It's true.
But is it not?
I hate what you're saying because, like, I have...
I don't know how to disagree with it, but you're wrong, but you're right.
I'm not wrong.
Like, I know what you're saying.
Hate itself.
Chris, I'm objective.
Right.
No, but you can't.
It's not for a mystical reason, but it is, it is true.
Hate, intense hate in enough people manifests eventually an action that acts on that hate.
Yes.
So what I said was right.
But you can't just look at somebody and hate them until they explode.
No, but if you get enough people to hate him, he will die.
I hate that like, I do, I know what you're saying and I agree, but I don't.
There's, there's, there's, there's a cosmic.
That's like saying this is telegraph.
Kinesis because I'm using my mind to move it.
No, no, no, no.
You can move things with your mind, but you can influence someone because you're making it move.
Your brain is still making it move.
That's not telekinesis, though.
That's not, but it's kinetic energy and it's telel like thought.
We're going to move on to questions.
No, this is real.
We're going to move to questions now.
This is real.
We're going to move on.
He's real?
You see, Fuerrethez being like, F, he was a cool guy.
Yeah, I mean, he's just trying, whatever.
He's.
He knows that he's going to, if he can.
keeps it up, he'll get a seat somewhere.
I think he's just trying to do absurdist shit now so that he could say like,
like Alex Jones, remember when he was like, I'm just a character.
I think he's trying to do that now.
I was going to step on a shovel and it hit him in the face so hard.
His head blows up.
That's a lot of...
There's a lot of Newton's of force.
That's a fucking wild about a newtons.
I forgot how many...
How much are newtons again?
I used to remember the fucking actual quantity of...
Oh, I don't remember what a Newton is.
I just think it's a funny word.
What's a Newton?
It's an actual measurement of force.
Yeah, but like, how much...
Like can a person achieve a Newton?
I don't think so, right?
Of course, yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
I thought Newton's were like, almost like tons in the sense that like that's not a human thing.
It's like more of like a existential kind of like.
I think it's like they're like kind of very minuscule.
Oh, so it's like knots kind of right, like on a boat where it's just like it sounds kind of eccentric but it's actually kind of mundane.
I'd assume so.
Yeah.
Well, anyway, we're going to move on to some of our questions from our patrons over at patreon.com slash the snark tank.
Remember, you can go over there for early access.
to every episode, ad free.
What happened?
Does somebody else die?
No.
He looked at his phone and he had that reaction that we all have when we look at our phones
fucking every goddamn day, this generation basically.
Every day someone dies.
But Patreon.com slash Star Tank.
Early access, ad free, exclusive episodes.
Go over there.
Go over there.
And ask us your questions.
What are you reading there?
fellow what you're doing over there so a new one of force is needed to accelerate one kilogram
of mass at the rate of one meter per second so that's what a new enough force is I just don't know
whatever you don't get that no what the force needed to make a kilogram move one meter per
second oh okay that's what a new one is so you can oh that's really not that's really nothing
yeah why did I think it was like way bigger because you're thinking of a neutron that's what you're
probably thinking of oh maybe maybe and then a neutron is a fucking new
Neutral atom. That's it.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, neutrons are neutrons? I'm not going on to all this shit, man.
We don't know shit about it. We don't know. We don't have any business.
I know I know. I know what that stuff is, but I cannot. I'm not going to pull all the information right now.
The only reason we have any business talking about politics is because politics has gotten so stupid as to approach our level.
Oh yeah. Absolutely. Like we shouldn't be like in a sane like. It's like light going down a tree.
And you know at the bottom is like lightning you mean? No light. Like just light going down a tree.
And eventually the light gets so bright
Even the fucking things under the ground can see it
A tree?
Yeah, you know it's you know it on the rainforest
Right how there's like canopies
Sure
And the light doesn't usually touch the lower part
Oh I see what okay
That's a really that's a roundabout kind of thing
I think it's pretty self-explanatory
Whatever man
Whatever you just don't
Why didn't explain itself then?
I did
No it
But it can't
Because it wouldn't be it
But it wouldn't have been said if I didn't explain it
Well then I guess it can't be self-explanatory
Then nothing's self-explanatory
Whatever, man
Is it a picture self-explanatory?
All these questions are Derek, so I'll skip that.
What do you mean?
This ad's like Derek, I'm gay.
My wife's a European, I'm gay.
My wife speaks like this.
That's crazy.
What the fuck?
I'm not talking like that at all.
You're actually really cool.
She doesn't talk like that at all, even remotely.
It's fucking great.
All right.
he's made fun of Lily a thousand times
I don't give a shit dude
That is true
He is not here to defend his wife
He's not here to defend his wife
Hassan hate fucking destiny
Fucking Steve wrote in
He says
Hey, his name
Uh huh
That his name is Steve?
Who?
Destiny
Oh yeah
Yeah it is it
Yeah Stephen Bonnell I think
He's a Hispanic last time I know that
And he's like
Bonnell
Is that Hispanic?
He's half Cuban
No I understand he's half Cuban
But is that like a
I think Benel is a Spanish name
I don't think I've ever seen or met a Bonnell.
I mean, I've met Spanish Lees.
That's fair.
That is valid.
I met a Cuban Hutcherson.
That's marriage, though.
Sure, whatever, man.
My last name is Jameson.
That's name is Jameson.
And I'm very, very Arawaka.
All right.
Well, anyway, he says,
Hey, Godora, Simi-Sage, and Smurgle.
I don't, fuck.
Simisage?
Is that what that is?
Simsege?
That's a Pokemon, I'm pretty sure.
Simi Sage?
Yeah, Sim Sage.
What kind of Pokemon is that?
It's a monkey.
What is that?
Like, an eighth generation, like, ninth generation thing?
It's one of those things where it's like, it's like, it's like, you, like, if
Florida put a gun in, like, name this Pokemon.
I would be fun.
You would eat the gun.
Monkeymon.
Not even the right naming.
Monkey.
Monk.
Monk fellow.
It's a monk fellow.
You got it right, the door opens and you leave.
I think I'd be furious if I got it right if that was the case.
Like, not shoot me.
No.
Anyways, did you see Hassan going on an anti-ice protest and saying Democrats would have done the same thing?
That's so crazy.
Wait, what?
Look, I don't know if that's true.
It's a secondhand report, but, like, brother, like, the, both sides are the same thing is like.
There's content where they are, but that's not overall.
It's not, they're not the same thing.
In the same way that, like, look, I don't want my, look, I'll put it this way.
I don't want a rat
climbing up through my toilet
Right
It's a pretty negative experience
Would you say?
Yeah
Is that something that you would prefer?
Rather not
Right, it's like a pretty negligence
It's something that like, hmm, don't want that
Yeah
I also don't want
A fire in my kitchen
And a radioactive isotope
Loose on the first floor of my house
At the same time
Mm-hmm
both of those situations
they're not preferable situations
yeah i would prefer neither of them be happening
i think one
demands a little bit more priority
than the mouse the rat could wait
i gotta settle
the strontium 90 leaking in my
the first floor of my apartment while the bottom floor
is on fire and my dog is cooking
you know
con man to burglar that's what I call it
yeah
con man to burglary
it's all as I say it is
yeah I guess
they're both trying to steal from you
but one is trying to steal from you
with like sweeter words
the other one is violently trying to just take from you
right that's all it is
it just strikes me as like the look
their elements are like yeah of course
there's like elements are like
okay this is like similarly annoying
but like it's not even it's not even the
Democrats wouldn't have been doing this
like they're straight out they're the same
they would have been doing other things
that would have bothered me
and irritated me
but they wouldn't have been conducting
Israel. That's it. That's what they're doing mostly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pitching in my Israel.
They wouldn't have been gunning
protesters in the street.
They wouldn't have been throwing
It just, it's not,
these are not the same things.
Just objectively, I think any reasonable person can know that.
It's not to say, oh, these are angels, these are demons.
It's just to say what's happening now is priority
because it's happening, brother. What do you fucking mean?
I think the big problem now is that, uh,
A lot of the Republicans because of a lot of the Trump, not even the Trumpies, right?
Sure.
They're like.
Trump, Trump.
Trump.
Yeah.
But you wouldn't do this with a Democrat.
It's like, yes, I would.
Yeah.
Like, what do you mean?
Of course I would.
You're not talking about putting Clinton in jail.
Incarcerate that.
Clinton's not the president.
If he's guilty, throw him in jail.
Throw him in jail twice.
It's crazy.
There's no sense of priority or like anything.
It's kind of insane.
It's the loyalty.
The loyalty to the official has gone way out of hand.
Small government enjoyers.
Yeah, man.
It's fucking insane.
Remember that?
Yeah, remember small government?
I mean, that was always a lie.
Oh, of course.
Like, it was always like, I just want big government in a different way.
I want big government to tell you that you can't fuck another guy.
Yeah.
I want big government to tell you that you should be bankrupted by medical debt.
You know, that's the big government that the thing.
The small government thing is always bothered me because it's just like it, from the get-go, it's less honest.
That's the thing.
it's like the Democrats like I have so many issues
to the Democrats but like when they say when Democrats are saying
like we want big government they're being honest about that
you know that's a that is a genuine thing
that they do it like they want it in in these
areas and Roganers are like no we're different man
we're not the opposite but it's like no you just want it
in different areas and so like from the get
go from base principles you're starting off
on a lie with with
one entire like they want half of
the population they want big government
to oppress
the people that don't want big government
that's it
They want, they want, like, they want.
It's always frustrated me too.
You know what?
Where it's just like, imagine you're like training for like a boxing match.
You have two coaches, right?
And one of them is like, I'm going to train you to get better because I'm a coach.
And I believe coaching works.
And then your other coach is like, coaches shouldn't do anything.
Coaches should not help you at all.
What is the purpose of that other coach if not to just undermine the other coach?
That's the big.
You know what I mean?
Like it's just like, why would you have somebody in government?
Why would you elect somebody for the job of being in government
whose sole point is that government is dumb and can't do anything?
Yeah.
What is that like?
Whatever, man.
Whatever, we'll move on.
I'm just getting frustrated.
It's so stupid.
It's insane.
It's insane.
On eBay, every find has a story.
Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea.
Not just a tea.
The band tea.
From the last show your favorite band ever played.
You wore it everywhere.
Then your BFF started glaring it, which is cute,
until they unfriended you and took it with them,
which was not so cute.
Anyway, now you're on eBay.
And there it is, same tea from the same tour.
Still living in your memory, rent-free forever.
See?
The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you.
But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your ex-BFF stole back.
It's also for that rare championship foul ball you.
caught, then heroically gave to the kid next to you. And where else are you going to find your
first car? The one you wish you never sold, but now, you finally get the chance to take back home
for good this time. Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story. eBay, things people love.
I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man.
Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner
Morgan and Morgan which is America's largest injury law firm that's pretty awesome
I think I saw billboarded years recently it said 20 billion one 20 million is an
insane number yeah 20 billion recovered it's actually I think somewhere north
probably closer to 22 23 after this year and each year we get bigger and
batter and our army grows so the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and
bigger as time goes on awesome so how does someone get in contact with Morgan and
what would I do if I got into an accident
Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.
That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open.
Our call center is always waiting to take your call.
24-7, 365.
Wow.
Dan Morgan.
From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law,
from, thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me.
Visit 4theple.com for an office near you.
Imagine being able to teach people
to convince people to just simply vote against their interests.
It's a skill.
Like it's in, it's magnificent.
Used to be harder
than it is now, I feel.
Oh, well, you know why.
People are illiterate and people are.
People are dumb and they purposely made people dumb.
Did you see that the...
It's on purpose.
Yeah, probably.
Do you think the, do you see the chart about
how it used to be like, oh, previous generations
get more conservative with time and millennials are the opposite?
Yeah, of course.
Did you see the link that they made with, like, lead paint?
What was it?
What was it?
It just made people fucking crazy.
The less common and it becomes like...
The smarter human.
the less conservative people get over time.
It's insane.
People would say that,
you'd be like,
you become more,
you get more focused on your own people.
It's like,
yeah,
but like I also just kind of care about people.
Yeah,
you're always going to prioritize.
In general.
You're always going to prioritize your family
and your friends over everybody else.
I think that's true.
But you also care about it.
That's the different.
Like there was that graph
that was kind of going around.
Remember where it was like,
liberals prioritize everybody over their family
and conservative prioritize their family
over everybody else.
And that was like a graph that was going around, but it was like completely misread.
The idea was like, the idea was like including the things you care about.
So like Democrats were like, yeah, I care about my family.
I care about my friends.
I care about other people.
I care about homeless people.
I care about like, you know, strangers.
And Republicans were like, I only care about my family.
I don't give a shit about other people.
Of course.
Which is like not what people were.
Of course.
That's not what the graph said.
Although they can't read graphs.
I guess I'm not surprised.
But they claim themselves to be Christians at the same time.
That religion.
That's one of the commandments to love thy neighbor.
Remember that thing?
That's not real.
It's not real.
It's not real.
Yes.
But you know what it is?
Yeah.
It's still a decent fundamental tool.
Like, I know what you mean.
It's,
oh, dude, I was Christian for a long time.
And I took a lot of things from Christianity.
Yeah, I like parts of it.
And then I became most like,
oh, I don't follow religious.
I feel the religion is corrupted by the people that speak the language of it.
But it still taught me good things.
I didn't be like, ah, nah, fuck it.
Fuck it honoring that mother and my father.
I think community around like certain tenants like that is important.
I haven't even considered going to churches, but like it's hard to find a church that was like that would, you know.
I just can't do it.
I can't go to church.
I can't do it.
I like the idea of it more than the way that it manifests.
I'm too black to go to church, unfortunately.
What?
Churches are very black.
I guess not around here, I guess.
I have the whole perspective where it's like the slaves and prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed and they stayed and they stayed slaves for hundreds of years.
because it shovels responsibility
onto this greater thing.
So it's like,
oh,
I'm going to believe there's something better
instead of actively trying to pursue something better.
That's always how I felt about it too.
That's my perspective of it.
That's in freaking your Hispanic.
You've been a Catholic churches.
Yeah.
But we talk about the fucking art.
And the way they talk about people dying.
And I completely discredit the morning of people when they die.
Like,
I've been at churches recently about,
like very recently,
people dying, right?
Oh, yeah, God's plan.
And my grandma,
I'm crying about my grandma being gone.
because, you know, that's my mother.
And they're like, yeah, but the Lord chose.
And it's like, I will get up and out beat the fuck out of you.
Yeah, that was what.
It's always, it's always been.
It's always been.
My Catholic Church was really nice, but even that was an aspect of it.
That was it.
It's the idea that like, I don't know, a purposeful suffering, which is like, that's not.
You know what the thing I think is particularly nefarious about it is that like the concept of hell kind of exists.
To frighten you to be.
Not even that.
It exists so you don't have to really.
act when evil is done
because you could just be like oh well
you'll get your you'll get yours yeah
when we're all dead like then they'll then they'll
have to suffer the consequences of it
and it kind of like it kind of assuze his responsibility
of like holding people accountable to like an afterlife that doesn't
exist and that's kind of the frustrating thing
because it's just like oh well I don't care about pedophiles because like they're
they're going to hell it's like well brother
they're asking for forgiveness thing too is this it's a lot a lot
A lot of it is just like...
We don't need to harp on it, I guess.
If you think...
It's not like Derek, but if you...
We're trying to make up for the fact that Derek is not here,
so we're going on it.
We're going on an atheist rant.
I don't have...
I don't have my...
Right, but it is an atheist rant.
Like tinged, you know what I mean?
I get it.
Are you not any...
What are you?
I'm agnostic.
It's ultimately the same.
To a degree.
There's similarities to do it.
I mean, I can't know, I guess, but like...
I'm pretty confident that every book that's written about...
And Ed's the complete bullshit.
You know what I mean?
I believe in metaphysics, though.
So, like, that's why.
Like, I have, like, I have an actual belief in metaphysics.
So it's like...
What's the belief in metaphysics?
I just, I think, not actual belief, but I believe that there's...
Like, karma.
Like, energies you put into the world do manifest in certain ways, you know?
Whether it may...
It's not literally like spirits and apparations, but I think there is a mental side of, like, existing
that is a little too complex.
I mean, to be like, oh, no, you're just gone when you're in the ground.
Yeah, I think you're gone.
I think you're gone.
I think, I think you're gone.
as the way you were. I think like the way
like this as I am right now
I'm gone. Sure.
But there's still, I think there's still something
going on but I just, I don't really
it doesn't, it doesn't
yeah, I assume my thoughts thinking about
that anymore. It's like whatever. Yeah, I don't think about it either.
The way I think about it is like
I just doubt that we
if there was something that was sophisticated
enough to create everything, I doubt we would know
anything about it or like what its preferences
are or like what it like wants you to do.
That just seems like fucking far fed.
That's a lore to me.
It's like,
you know,
you've made up a cool story about it.
It's too convenient that it'd be...
It's too convenient that it'd be...
They found it in Israel.
Yeah,
and then they edited it a million...
It's all fucking ridiculous.
But religion is really useful.
It's a useful thing to look into.
It's really,
it helps to, like, really under...
Because I looked into, like,
I went through this whole fucking diaspora mentality.
You were with me
when I was going through that fucking period of time.
I was, like,
looking into, like,
all sorts of myths
about various African places,
looked into, like,
the myths,
the Tainos in our walk of stuff
looked into like that stuff it's it's interesting because it's everywhere you go there's
these fucking like super various beliefs of like how things happen after you die
or what goes on and then you know you notice that like they're all I don't know pretty
bright yeah in perspective and then you get to like Christianity the big three and it's like
not it's like not like beautiful it's like nah it's suffering and you better be good
Like, Jewish people are terrified of God.
He scares them.
Because they know at any moment, this nigger will fuck them over because he has so many times.
Yeah.
So to my Jewish brother and sisters, man.
Endorse me.
I want to work on Hollywood.
That's crazy.
I love working Hollywood.
Right, let's move on.
We'll get to the jokes.
Okay.
I know people have an issue.
You know, whenever we get this.
With what?
Fucking substance.
I mean, I get it.
You know.
I get it, but I don't know.
I feel like there's hard not to, though.
Like, I mean, the thing about it is like, it's so front-facing and so, like,
in your face now.
Like, it's hard not to talk about it.
I think that some people,
I think sometimes we forget to joke about it, you know,
because we just do,
we feel these things earnestly.
I don't know.
I think,
I think we've clearly been making jokes the whole time about bullshit.
Yeah.
That are laughable,
but I think we laugh at things that are terrible because.
What are you going to do,
you know?
That's all we can be exactly.
What are you going to cry about it?
Like,
I can't cry about this dog.
Do a gay little cry,
do a homosexual little cry?
You see that.
A thick sucking sob.
You're going to,
Okay, maybe when you kept it gay, I was with you, and then you said homosexual, and that's, like, actively them, you know, like, maybe stop.
Gay.
Yeah, I guess.
I know what you mean by that.
Thank you.
Thank you for understanding.
Anyway, young shot Colin Moriarty with a 50-calf sawed off rode in.
That's, first of all.
He's missing.
He's, yeah, he's not there.
First of a 50 caliber sawed off shot.
How does that work?
I think, well, a 50, it's not necessarily that it's a sort of shot.
I feel like you would just see the bullet.
Like part of the bullet would be sticking out.
I don't think Sought off necessarily implies shotgun.
I know, but a Sought-off 50 caliber, the bullet would be...
Just a mega inaccurate fucking sniper rival.
That sucks.
That's a terrible idea.
I think it's...
See the video the guy shooting his own leg off in the fucking ricocheted off a lawnmower and hit him in the...
Some hick in fucking obviously like, I don't know, Mrs. Sip.
Fucking morons, man.
They're going to protect us against the government to turn.
Yeah, these guys.
You're going to shoot a drone and the drone's going to crash into their eye.
Drones going to crash into the house and detonate itself.
A little neutron star.
It's going to be daytime for a few seconds and it's going to go back tonight.
It's going to be daytime for minutes.
It's going to be daytime until it's day.
That's really bad.
That's bad news bears, man.
That's so bad.
I don't really get how bad it is.
You can't.
I know it's not good.
It's going to get so hot.
You know it just hurts.
You don't know where it goes or comes from?
Yeah.
This guy writes and he says,
Howdy, boys.
This is for Swain since he ignored me on Twitter.
Regarding your...
The post you made.
What?
The fucking picture of you as...
A Wolverine?
Yes.
I was fucking with my hair and I parted it.
I was like, oh, look at this.
Let's hear it.
I like how the question doesn't even
It's not even about it. He says
Regarding your
He says he says
He censors it but
N word reen
posed he says
So that's the famous $80 hair cut very much worth it
Thank you. Also what are your guys' thoughts
On fable? Just a complete tangent
Just a complete tangent. Nothing to do
Nothing to do with the picture. I think it looks cool. I don't know.
I'm into it.
I liked the old fable games.
I didn't play them a lot,
but I played two a shit ton.
And I like the idea...
I like the idea of a game
letting you truly be a bit...
I don't know.
There's like...
Because there's games where you can be a bad person,
like Mass Effect,
where it's just like you could just kind of be...
You could be a hero,
but you're an abrasive hero,
and you're just not nice.
On eBay, every find has a story.
Like, if you're looking for a vintage band tea.
Not just a T.
The Band T.
From the last show, your favorite band,
ever played. You wore it everywhere. Then, your BFF started glaring it, which is cute,
until they unfriended you and took it with them, which was not so cute. Anyway, now you're on
eBay. And there it is, same tea from the same tour. Still living in your memory, rent-free,
forever. See, the things you love have a way of finding their way back to you. But eBay isn't
just forgetting whatever your ex-BFF stole back. It's also for that rare championship.
foul ball you caught, then heroically gave to the kid next to you. And where else are you going
to find your first car? The one you wish you never sold, but now, you finally get the chance to
take back home for good this time. Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story. eBay,
things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today?
It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and
managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.
That's pretty awesome.
I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one.
20 million is an insane number.
Yeah, 20 billion recovered.
It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.
And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?
What would I do if I got into an accident?
Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.
That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open.
Our call center is always waiting to take your call.
24-7, 365.
Wow.
Dan Morgan.
From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law,
from thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me.
Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.
But you're still ultimately, like, doing, you know,
you're not really doing a lot?
There's cinematic villainy,
and then there's, like, actual insidiousness, you know?
Like, the fact that you can, like,
have kids
with like different people
and hide them from each other
and then evict
the like buy the house that they live in
and like evict them on the street
that is so
like the fact that you can do that
is enticing to me
because I think the reason
I don't engage with like evil playthroughs
in games is because I just know
that it's so
I don't know like I just rather
I would just rather be a good person
because I just know that every character is important
you know what I mean like they're key to the story
my end thing is to be good
because I feel like if I'm bad
the game's going to be harder.
But the world is constantly showing me that that's not true.
Yeah, it's the opposite, really.
But my brain is like, oh, I'll be good because of the fact that when you're good,
more people are alive.
And then this character who I'm embodying has a better life at the end.
Even though I detached from them, they're better at the end.
Like, I'm playing infamous right now.
And I was like Max Good before I even got to the second island.
Like I was just saving people in middle of missions.
I was like, oh, no, you're down.
Let me just get you back up.
Yeah.
And then now I'm like, oh, well, that was cool, I guess.
I wish I was bad so I could throw the cluster bombs and blow up cities of people.
But whatever.
But I've definitely did a whole switch where I was like Max got in the game and I full swung to bad before the end of the game.
I think I did that in like, I think I did that in Red Dead.
They didn't do that in Red Dead.
I did that in Spider-Man Web of Shadows because I was just like I was playing Spider-Man as the hero, obviously.
But then like I found out that you get Black Cat at the end of your bad.
So like I just did a bunch of bad shit.
He was Max style being bad.
Why would I go with Barry Jeter over Black Cat?
It's crazy.
I've never understood that in like the comic experience.
People are like, oh yeah, Mary Jane of Black, it's like, you're gay.
Well, I mean, Mary Jane is, is the, he's nice, which is what you're supposed to value.
No, you're gay.
I'm sure Mary Jane is a man.
That's transvestigating Mary Jane Watson.
What was the, what were your male name?
I don't know, Marvin Jane, Marvin Joe.
Probably just be Bill or something.
I don't think it would be anything clever.
Marvin Joe.
Marvin Joe Watson.
That sucks.
Marvin Joe should be killed, whoever that is.
If you got a name, if your name is Marvin Joe.
No, no, no.
I'm sorry, man.
Your parents clearly did not care about whether or not you were going to make it out alive.
They were hoping secretly that you would be chewed up by the school system and bullied into early suicide.
Marvin Joe.
Imagine thinking that about your kid.
Let that slip through your mind once.
I want him dead, but I want to be directly responsible.
I want you to get bullied to death.
I want to manipulate the world.
around me to kill my kid.
I want to make him such a bitch.
People want him dead.
Being such a bitch that people want you gone,
it's fucking next level stuff.
It's the fucking, it's the manifest shit, dude.
As you manifest, you meet up
with your family once a week and you guys like
really like this hate at your son
for a while. And then eventually
people start hating outside of your sphere
to be killed him. Yeah.
Oh my God. Anyway,
what is it this next one? I want Allison Bree to peg me
and call me Slurs Roden.
Definitely a choice.
You know?
Slurs, too, dude.
Yeah, I mean, I like Alison, I think she's very pretty, Billy.
Slurs?
I don't want to be pegged or called slurs, quite frankly.
Slurs is crazy.
The pegged part is like, look, man, to eat his own, but the slurs part is like...
It's a lot.
There's nothing sexually attractive about that to me at all.
Yeah, it's not...
I don't want to hear you...
Someone reminding me of words that make me feel like less than a human doesn't make my dick hard.
It makes me, in fact, really sad.
I don't know if I really want to hear words during sex either, to be honest with you.
I don't know if I want to hear, like, a sense.
sentence.
You know?
I don't know.
I wish I just had, like if I could, I would just buy pocketpuses and have those only.
I would just fuck those.
That's crazy.
That's, all right.
What, we're not going to get into it.
How, how?
What is the betterment of having a, what do you need other than that?
What do you say?
What do you need other than that?
Like, tell me, like real, real shit.
What do you know other than that?
Even if, look, even if you were just selfishly only in, into this for the carnal satisfaction.
Yeah.
the rest of the body's important for what purpose what do you mean it gives context but if your if my only
function is i'm trying to lie my way through it wait if you're saying if your only purpose is there just
to finish your success satisfy yourself why do you need anything other than that i'm going to
read the next question you cannot argue this against me so you're choosing the surrender i'm just
i simply i respect that but admit surrender no then
prove me wrong.
Okay.
I'm gonna stop.
I'll stop and stop.
Anyways, I went out of reading me and called me stars around and he says, hey, Gay Jita,
Gayku, and Gay Ikelo.
You really, really stretch with that one.
Much like Piccolo himself.
I always forget that he can do that, that he can stretch.
It's a dumb ability for him to have in fairness, but.
Piccolo is very much so the magical character of the universe.
Yeah.
But you forget that because of the fact of that.
He just kind of doesn't do anything for a little.
He's a big old green dude that like it becomes a surrogate father.
That's it.
The fact that he has the clothes beam always gets me.
That shit's crazy.
The fact that he can point you.
It's magic.
People forget that he has magical powers.
That's beyond magic though.
That's like,
it's magic.
There's not even like any pomp and circumstance to it.
It's just like clothes are there.
You know what I mean?
It's not like a big show.
It's not like a puff of smoke or something.
You know?
You're thinking of parlor magic.
Yeah.
Well, there's no theatrics to it.
It's just like I can't.
I can't envision like how it was just like one frame he's got clothes.
You know what I mean?
Give him a little sword too.
Gave a beta sword blacksmiths.
Because it's magic.
It's magic.
It's a legit magic.
He should go into a clothes business.
They talked about that in freaking team four star, but genuinely he should go into him selling clothes.
He should.
He should be like an Armani or something.
Like a like a maybe not a Hugo boss.
Hego boss.
You're not exactly.
I mean, good clothes.
I mean, Hitler was in that universe and go to the Trump.
killed him. What?
You didn't watch Fusion Reborn? I thought Goku killed him.
In Fusion Reborn, he kills, they kill Hitler.
Like, Strait. GoTen and Trunk is straight up Hitler.
I thought Goku killed him.
I think Goku fought the Red Ribbon army. He fought that army and that's the kind of
SSR, but like.
Right, but isn't, isn't that not, is that not Hitler?
No. So I'm not mistaken. I'm pretty sure it's not.
Because I know, but this is a movie also, I want you mind, this moves.
It's not canon. Oh, whatever.
But Goaten and Trunks literally blow up Hitler.
Cool.
Yeah. Even they, even they get it.
Yeah. It's not hard. It's low-hanging fruit is.
fucking alien hybrids get in.
He fucking...
Anyway.
Twain-ne gos are like,
yeah, maybe put the gun down this time.
Anyway, he says,
have you guys heard
about Dragon Ball Super
getting a remake?
Of course.
Well, it's going to be more like
DBZ Kai where they're just
reanimating certain shitty parts,
cutting filler,
and changing up a lot of the
compositioning,
but still keeping it the same.
Are you guys at all,
are you guys at all interested
and did any of you like
DBZ Kai compared to the original Z?
Guys, I don't know, man
I'm satiated with Dragon Ball
I don't need any more of it
I'm gonna throw parties when it comes out
But I can't
I'm too, I love Dragon Ball
So I love Dragon Ball too
But like I don't need more of it
You know what I mean?
Like I don't need more of the same stuff
I'll agree with you on that
But like, because they're doing
They're doing the moral arc now
They're like continuing with the story
Finally I guess
I don't know man
It just feels like it's continuing
Like I don't see the point
Continuing it because Toriyama's gone
It's never gonna end
It's too big of a thing now.
I know.
It's like Marvel, I guess.
People tell me that all the time.
People are like, at least want to draw, manga's end.
It's like, are you sure?
Have you seen one piece?
Have you seen Naruto?
The way that I feel about Dragon Ball is the same way that I feel kind of about Spider-Man,
where it's like, there is the iconic imagery that comes from this show.
And the media penetration that it has all comes from a particular era of it.
and that era is really all that's necessary
to continue it is just kind of like
What are you think is necessary for Spider-Man?
I would say Spider-Man up until 1990s.
I think, well, what I'm saying is like,
people think of Peter Parker, generally speaking,
not just in comics, but like outside,
as high school through early college.
I agree.
That is what people think of, they think of a kid.
They think of an inexperienced kid being a superhero.
That's like the key thing.
about Spider-Man. Not to say that there's more interesting things to be told about it or that
like interesting stuff doesn't happen later or whatever. But like that's really the core of it
and you don't necessarily need more from it. I think I think 15 to a young 20 and that's DBZ.
Arguably up until cell really. I like Boo. There's not really a lot of iconic stuff that comes
from Boo. Outside of Gohan saying you retard, you know, like that's this. No, there's iconic stuff.
It's the fusions. That's super iconic. It's, but it's, I agree, but it's not going.
super saan on namic it's not gohan with the with goku behind him doing the one-handed
kamehamehamea it's not freeze uh you know what i mean it's not great ape you know there's
there's a point in time where something captures this i and it expands outward and a lot of i bet a lot of
people only know about dragon ball through dragon ball z not dragon ball not dragon ball super and so it
just kind of feels like especially with the creator gone it's hard for me to get excited about anything
new because truthfully as
I don't know man as much as I engaged with
Dragon Ball still and I like I watched
a bit of Super I played a lot of a what is it
Sparking Zero.
A lot of the characters
don't mean anything to me that aren't
from Z like Z is what I care about
and what I like and what like I gravitated
towards and what I still love to this day. Super is like
it's more you know what it is it's like stranger things
after season one where like
I liked season two and season
and season four I thought was pretty cool.
I didn't need more than season one.
That's kind of how I feel about.
I can respect that.
I think most characters, they have a moment.
And a moment is a thing and then it ends.
On eBay, every find has a story.
Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea.
Not just a tea.
The band tea.
From the last show your favorite band ever played.
You wore it everywhere.
Then your BFF started glaring it.
which is cute until they unfriended you and took it with them,
which was not so cute.
Anyway, now you're on eBay.
And there it is, same tea from the same tour.
Still living in your memory, rent-free forever.
See? The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you.
But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your XBFF stole back.
It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught
then heroically gave to the kid next to you.
And where else are you going to find your first car?
The one you wish you'd never sold, but now, you finally get the chance to take back home for good this time.
Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story.
eBay, things people love.
I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.
Say hi, Dan.
Hey, how's it going today?
It's going good, man.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
I'm Dan Morgan.
I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.
That's pretty awesome.
I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one.
20 million is an insane number.
Yeah, 20 billion recovered.
It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.
And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?
What would I do if I got into an accident?
Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.
That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open.
Our call center is always waiting to take your call.
24-7, 365.
Wow.
Dan Morgan.
From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram,
thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me.
Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.
I think most characters have moments outside of that.
That's, like, very cool.
Like, for instance, Venom.
Oh, Modge and Vegeta, I guess that was unfair to me.
That's it.
Venom.
Like, I think Venom as a character has his fever pitch
when he's first created.
And people love him very much.
Like, oh, my God, he's the anti-Spiderman.
But I think, in recently, like,
maybe 2017 to late 18, his best story was told.
Was it age of venom?
No, it was the Donny K.
When they first introduced null and everything.
Oh, yeah, I don't know.
That era is amazing.
That's one of the symbiote god or whatever.
Yeah.
I think that era of venom is like really good because outside from like the greater
villainous thing, the story of like abuse, the cycle of abuse is very well told.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't doubt that it's probably.
And I think that's the best point of it, but that's not his most iconic point.
but that is his best literary point, I would say.
And those are different things, you know?
Right.
You know, like Spider-Man.
Spider-Man's most iconic moment is him getting bit up until, I would say, his moment of creating Venom.
I think those are like his, like, moments that are the most, like, best attract for him.
Right.
Because that's when his story goes full, maybe up until Carnage's existence.
Because it's the bipod of sound like Venom, right?
It's like, okay, like this is like his full smathering of his main villains and his,
him really understanding like the really the weight of his actions in a truest form because now a real
monster has been created because of his actions and I think that's as far as it really needs to go
I think he has good moments outside of that but I think if you really want to understand Spider-Man
you need up until those points which is a lot of time's a lot of time still it's a lot of time
don't get me wrong but it's like that's how you really get a grasp of the character I just I worry
that like a lot of fiction gets to the point where like there's there's a need to explain
everything yeah where things don't really need like I didn't really need
an explanation of like
where the symbios came from.
Oh, you don't really need that.
You know, I don't think it's necessary
to make Venom cool.
And I actually think it makes it a little bit less interesting
that it's just like, you know, null and...
I think it's...
It's probably well...
I can't say anything.
I haven't read it.
I'm sure it's well written
and I'm sure it's like interesting
within the context of itself.
But I think it existing kind of like
it takes something a little bit away from Venom
that I liked,
which was that there was kind of no answer to it.
It was kind of just like this thing
that was beyond.
That's the greater problem of world building, right?
Because in every idea of world...
There's a greater problem of world building if you intend to keep a world going forever, I guess.
And I think is that you're supposed...
When you're supposed to do that,
he doesn't let the world be open,
but at the same time, it's like you don't have to explain everything,
also in the same breath of it.
Because the problem with Spider-Man...
The problem with Spider-Man opposed to the movies,
opposed to the show, opposed to the comics,
that Spider-Man is one piece of that universe.
Right.
And very much so if you read the comics, you understand that.
If you watch the movies, you don't get that.
You're never going to get that.
You're never going to see Spider-Man.
Like Spider-Man interacting.
Like the MCU, it doesn't stick the landing correctly.
But Spider-Man interacting when Matt and Murdoch happens.
They see each other.
You know, they see, Spider-Man knows about the mutants.
He interacts with them.
Like, that is all a moving part.
And that's what makes me love him so much because as a kid,
when I was seeing him be like, this world is insane.
I was thinking the same thing.
Yeah.
But that's not, that's not, everyone's not going to like that.
Because it's the people get exhausted from storytelling.
Because it does get exhausting having,
dude, I have almost 20 years Spider-Man comics.
That's a lot of fucking shit of one dude.
Yeah.
And all of its rehashes of shit that like,
nigga, who cares?
Right.
It's like, what the fuck?
Why don't I care about Spider-Men's following his W-2 late?
Like, what the fuck does that have to do with anything?
The whole comic of them.
Swing around and kill people.
Not kill, but.
You know, it hurt.
Not kill people.
That web is going to dissolve an hour.
Yeah.
What happens when he lands on his neck?
Right.
All right.
Well, yeah, I don't know.
I'm sure it'll be interesting.
I just,
I'm not that into a Dragon Ball anymore.
I'm excited for the more art.
I want to see,
I want to see it continue.
I want to see Goku win again.
Yeah, of course.
You want to see Vegeta almost win and then not in the not.
Of course.
That's the point.
That's what we're there for.
Yeah, I guess.
I don't know.
That's what we're there for, man.
We're there to see Vegeta fucking ultimately lose at the end.
So lame, dude.
It is very lame.
Has he ever gotten a dub?
Um, I mean, no, arguably.
No.
I mean, against Goku.
That's the only times he gets wins is directly against Goku.
Against Goku, there's, there's an argument to be made for sell, although it is his fault that it got to that point.
Um, but.
The only time is Vegeta wins fights.
He does, he does fuck him up.
The only time Vegeta wins twice.
Long enough for them to do the, do the commandment.
Yeah.
Oh, he does.
He does help.
Yeah.
He's also the only reason it got to there.
So it's like it's kind of.
The argument will make all the time.
Do you think that Goku gave Gohan and his power to beat Cell or no?
I think it was in the final clash.
With Cell?
Yeah.
No, I think that was like metaphorical.
Yes.
I thought it was him like kind of like.
Goku was not literally there.
People disagree with that.
They're like, no, he gave him power.
And it's like, no.
That is so stupid.
That's the whole point is there.
The whole point is him being like, hey, go on.
You can do this.
Do this.
He says you can.
do this, I'm pretty sure.
No, yeah, what?
He's literally an app.
He's like a ghost.
He's like a fake guy.
He's not there.
He's in the other world, isn't he?
Yeah, literally.
If he can fight people from other world,
why does he just do that all the time?
His body's safe in the fucking,
in the clouds and like his incorporeal form?
He pulls a Luke.
And he's like, yeah.
People think that?
Yeah.
Yeah, people think that.
Man, dude.
Yeah, people think that.
Is it real?
People think that.
This is why media literacy is so important.
Oh, it's gone.
That is crazy to me that anybody could possibly come away from that.
that fight and think that.
Because they're showing Goku
they're holding a Kamama and ha with him though.
Oh my God.
It's not him inheriting his will.
No, it's him.
He's literally helping him.
We're so cooked, man.
What?
I knew that as a child.
I did too.
I did that too.
I was like, oh, clearly this is like...
Although I guess they didn't do themselves any favors
by like making it so Goku is ultimately
like the main character after that.
That might be a...
In fairness, maybe.
I'm trying to make it make sense.
Maybe that's just a recontextualization based on how they kind of swept Gohan under the rug.
To argue that is...
Which I don't mind because I kind of don't like Gohan.
I love Gohan.
That's my man.
Such a little pussy.
He is a pussy.
He is.
But so a Spider-Man.
I'm a fan of Pussy.
I like that about him, but like I don't...
I like Gohan, I just don't want to see him ever.
Because I feel like every time I see him, I'm just going to be bored out of my mind until he does something that's antithetical to his character, which makes it cool.
But that he immediately goes...
It's not antithetical to his character.
That is his character.
Antidetical to what you want to see.
It's anti...
Right, right.
I misspoke.
But like, it's just like, you don't want to do this.
And you're doing it and you're the best at it.
And then you're just like, I don't want to do it anymore.
It's like, you suck.
It's like, dude, stop not being the best.
Just be the best.
Whatever.
Googling, what is a Blumkin at work?
On your work computer.
On your work computer.
Fucking Lakari.
He's got a blumpkin folder.
I think a blumpkin folder.
is crazy.
That's just really funny, though.
It is, yeah.
That is just ultimately extremely funny.
Yeah.
There's nothing, you know, predatory about that.
I guess so.
It's not the same as, you know, everything else that he had.
Dude, he, I saw that, I saw the video and I was like, brother.
Do you see him, like, trying to save face about it?
Just go to bed.
Just go to sleep and...
Just pull your whole set up out.
Just slam the computer.
That'd be fucking awesome
It gives you that fucking OBS thing
When the extremes not working
I would do some shit like that
It's like well
I wouldn't
But if I was in that context
He's got like if I did something
Got revealed like oh
Dead body on my thing
Like yeah
I dropped the body here
I'd be like oh
I pull a deforvid
Oh no
No
I've been unplugged
Anyway
Googling what is a Blumpkin
At work he wrote in
He says hey fuck sticks
In the latest episode 392
Chris makes a reference to a guy
wearing a suit of babies to avoid being attacked,
but he also references the Joker wearing babies.
There's concept art from absolute Batman
of the Joker wearing dead infants all over his body.
There's also a Kean peel skit
where Keegan wears babies all over his body
in hopes that he will not be beat up.
I guess it's a common fit.
Okay, let me say this.
wearing a suit of babies to avoid harm is a wild thing to be a trope
I think it makes sense that being a trope for something for that to happen so often
that there are multiple it makes sense what do you mean it makes sense
it makes sense that people that would want no sort of danger to them would wear babies
I understand the logic but the but to enact it in so much media is crazy any person
that would wear babies
is a person that deserves to get beat.
Where are you getting babies?
You can get a lot of people pregnant at one time.
What?
Like,
like a quick succession.
Sure.
Technically near infinitely.
It's not near infinitely.
Near, just a...
You could do it a lot.
It's a grotesque.
If you're shooting winners every time, you can probably do it.
You are finite. You can't.
But, like, let's say, like, you can get 30 women
pregnant in the span of, like,
like maybe two or three days,
and that's a lot of babies
are going to be born on the same time.
Maybe.
That's a lot.
What the fuck?
30 and three days?
10 a day?
Yeah, it would be, it would be
torture.
It would be a turkey baster,
I guess.
You can't do that naturally.
You can do the legwork if you want,
but it would be,
you'd be fucking tired.
On eBay,
every find has a story.
Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea.
Not just a tea.
The bandie.
T from the last show your favorite band ever played. You wore it everywhere. Then, your BFF started glaring it,
which is cute until they unfriended you and took it with them, which was not so cute. Anyway,
now you're on eBay. And there it is, same T from the same tour. Still living in your memory,
rent-free forever. See? The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you. But eBay
isn't just forgetting whatever your ex-BFF stole back.
It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught,
then heroically gave to the kid next to you.
And where else are you going to find your first car?
The one you wish you'd never sold, but now,
you finally get the chance to take back home for good this time.
Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story.
eBay, things people love.
I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.
Say hi, Dan.
Hey, how's it going today?
It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time.
goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got
into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan.
From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from, thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you. We're going to move on.
You can do the legwork, because think of it like this. Five minutes of sex.
Times 30.
Corrin
throwed in.
Oh no,
we can't use this
because Derek's not here.
He's correcting him
on the storm cloaks.
We'll wait for him
to be back.
Was he agreeing with what I said?
I'm not going to read it
because they are.
Are they not nationalist
kind of assholes?
I assume that's true.
That was the point they were telling me.
That's what I was seeing the whole time
and I was like,
well,
I was working with them
and I was like,
oh shit.
Anyway,
Dave Rubin's head expanding
like a hot air balloon.
Road in. He says,
I'm gay. And it was his higher pitch in his head.
My Dave Rubin, I'm going to fly away. Okay, Dave Rubin. I love you.
I love you, Dave Rubin. My David Rubin.
They should take what we're like that's, look, I don't.
You think they swapped each, they took each other's names and nobody noticed.
So his name was also Dave Rubin as well. He made another gay Dave Rubin.
Yeah, but then he was like, you know, it would be really funny. Let's, let's, let's take each other's full names.
so that way no one notices.
That's so stupid.
And no one will even know.
Well, me and Lily finally get married.
What was that?
Because we're not married still.
It's fucking insane.
That is crazy.
You are ostensibly.
I've been making fun of you for that for a while.
Yeah, but I'm a piece of shit.
And I've been fucking finally sealed a deal.
That's all my fault, mind you.
She's a great woman.
I'm just being a bitch.
My chemo-myishers are fucking egregious.
Clearly not, though.
I mean.
What do you mean?
I don't understand what the difference is at this point.
There's a difference.
There's a ceremonial difference, which matters.
I guess.
I wouldn't want to do the party, I guess.
I guess the expense of the wedding.
I don't want to do the wedding expense.
That's the part that bothers me.
Also getting a ring that's like, I think, worthy of her is my biggest problem.
I just buy this.
Timu.
I have thought about it, but I was like, no, I can't do that to her.
I can't do that to her.
I can't do that to her.
I can't get her an $85 ring.
Because I'm just going to show somebody and you know how Hispanic people are.
You know how we're going to be.
Yeah.
I didn't even know what makes a ring good, though.
Like, I look at rings and I'm like,
they all look at
The one I want to get her
It's like maybe like
$2,000, $5,000
And it's just a ring
It's just a reg.
It's, that's not even a good ring
It's crazy
That's actually a really fucking cheap ring
Yeah, I don't know
It's a really cheap ring
Like really, really cheap
I don't know if I'm gonna even do the ring thing
If I ever do that
You gotta, you gotta do it
I just gotta find somebody
He's not gonna care
Good luck
But the way young women are brainwashed now
Good fucking luck man
No no no
What they'll do is
They're gonna accept abuse
Because that's a woman
are brainwashed to do.
It's fine.
He loves me still.
Even though he cheats on me, physically abuses me, emotionally abuses me,
disregards me.
Kills you.
He loves me.
He loves me, though.
What are he going to do?
He love comes in various forms.
It does, I guess.
It comes in multiple forms.
He says, anyway, he says, hello, sincerity cart.
Been, uh, oh, snark tank, I get it.
Excuse me.
Oh, my God.
Fucking.
Yeah, it's, it's getting.
out of hand, this opposite shit.
But he says,
been a fan of Chris and his path of the Huron video
in 2014, Jesus fucking Christ.
That's 12 years for you, by the way.
It's insane.
More like path filled with dog shit, am I right?
It was quite bad.
It was quite bad.
Not as bad as it should be, but it's quite bad.
On that note, I know Chris has been
frustrated over the lack of a true destroy all humans three,
so I was wondering what improvements in addition
is he would want to include.
Just make it.
I genuinely think just the concept alone
with like, just a proper budget would be fine.
I think it's an interesting idea.
It's just fun.
Be set in 80s
would be really,
really funny.
Yeah,
that's what they would do.
They would go from
decade to decade.
The first I think was like...
The 30s and stuff like that.
No, the first was...
The first was 49,
then it was 59,
then it was 69,
then it was 69.
In the shitty one in the 60s
that was like built off
of toothpicks.
It's fucking insane.
You guys do the 60s?
79 would be cool.
I think it'd be funny
to have the concept of them
like actively being a part
of any, whatever sort of real uproar
is going on the world at the time.
It's like the 60s
that aliens are actively
trying to undergris.
cut, forget civil rights.
Yeah. Or they're advancing it.
Yeah. Wouldn't that be a while? I would prefer
the opposite. I like it when they're the villains.
This is more silly. And then like, I like the idea of them, like, the ones giving
Reagan idea of the crack, the crack lockdown, the drug war.
In the first, in the first one, there's a thing where, like, you're elected president.
That's how the game ends.
It's fucking awesome. Because you just, like, you just, you disguise yourself as the president.
You just, you, it's fucking so sick.
That's really fucking funny. It's really cool. I love, I love the idea of it.
So, like, I think it's a, I think it's a, it's a,
I think it's a good premise.
I think you could easily make that game really funny.
I mean,
that game was impressive to be
because that was the first time
that I'd use like telekinesis in games
and it felt really fucking cool
and then there was a force unleashed
and then like control.
Like I think about control
when I think about a new destroy all humans
and I'm like, dude,
that could be fucking great.
Control is such a game.
Control plays essentially like destroy all humans actually
in a lot of ways.
Like from like the base like,
Destroy humans is more ratchet and clank
but I know what you mean.
You're right.
Yeah, there is a ratchet.
Well, although there's not that dissimilar
of a ratchet and
Clank style and in control.
There's like the different types of guns that you can use.
There's the radial wheel of the different types of guns.
There's telekinesis.
There's flying.
It's just like, I mean, I'm not saying it's the same game.
I'm just saying, you're right, but my brain is like control.
It's a different experience, but I know it's a very different experience.
But I'm saying like, Plank Control made me like, man, I just, this but funny.
You know?
Like, I think it could be fucking cool.
This but not super fucking existential.
And confusing.
Me and Colin did a spoiler gas.
on that video game, and I'm pretty sure neither of us knew what the fuck the game was about
when we did it.
Because it is a very confusing video game.
Did you do the L.C of Alan Wake 2 with her?
I did.
I did.
But I saw him beating the control DLC.
I haven't beat it.
I haven't played it yet.
But I feel like she's so overpowered for the world she's in.
Like by the end of control, she's a freak.
Well, she's overpowered in the oldest house.
I don't think she can do that shit outside.
Really?
Does she have telekinesis?
I got to be honest with you.
I'm completely.
I completely forgot.
I completely forgot the core of that.
Like, I love Downaway 2.
Forgot a lot of it.
I think that game is one of the most fun video games I've played in a long time
where it's just like, that's just an artistic idea.
It's like, let's just make some shit that makes fun of taking shit too seriously.
It's good though.
It's like it's also serious.
I like it's got that perfect tone where it's like it's unserious and serious.
The DLC with the Waitress.
Do you play the DLC with the Wairess?
I don't put a DLC yet.
The DLC is really good.
It's really quick.
too like you can get through it I'm gonna you get through like each of them in like two
three hours I'm gonna play them again I'm gonna play their own way to again that's probably
game on the stream when I start streaming again I'm really close to the platinum in that game
really glitched for me I don't have any platinum it glitched for me I don't have any
platinum it's gonna I was like it's gonna spider man I guess I have spider man that's about it
do you not the platinum things usually I don't do it unless I really like something I like
I like a hundred percent the world effectively but I don't get like the platinum deal though
because it's like there's other shit you got to get platinum's like yeah oh do this
mission that's like, no, I usually do everything in the world.
It's too tedious. Like in Silk Song,
I have 100, like, 4%
in that game. That's ridiculous.
That game is a... That game's fucking... That game
is a raping of a time. It's
really bad. Anyway,
let's see. What is this?
On eBay, every find has a story.
Like, if you're looking for a vintage band
tea. Not just a tea.
The band tea.
From the last show your favorite band
ever played. You wore it everywhere.
Then, your BFF started
wearing it, which is cute until they unfriended you and took it with them, which was not so cute.
Anyway, now you're on eBay. And there it is, same T from the same tour. Still living in your memory,
rent-free forever. See? The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you.
But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your XBFF stole back. It's also for that rare championship
foul ball you caught, then heroically gave to the kid next to you.
And where else are you going to find your first car?
The one you wish you'd never sold, but now, you finally get the chance to take back home for good this time.
Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story.
eBay, things people love.
I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.
Say hi, Dan.
Hey, how's it going today?
It's going good, man.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
I'm Dan Morgan.
I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan & Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.
That's pretty awesome.
I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one.
20 million is an insane number.
Yeah, 20 billion recovered.
It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.
And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?
What would I do if I got into an accident?
Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.
That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open.
Our call center is always waiting to take your call.
24-7, 365.
Wow.
Dan Morgan.
From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law,
from, thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me.
Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.
Okay, well, this is something that's not directed to Derek,
but it is about our Skyrim conversation,
so I guess I can use it.
Let's hear it.
Avery Gay Man, the inventor of homosexuality.
That's the...
Like the first...
The first...
The first sinner.
The first sinner is crazy
That's insane
That's a sox song reference
But you're like
Yeah
I don't know
I don't know
But he says
Hey fellas
Since you were talking about
Playing through Skyrim again
That's not what we were talking about
Necessarily
We were just talking about
Playing through Skyrim
Yeah
The experience of it
And he says
Since you're talking about playing through Skyrim again
And the Storm Cloaks
And all that funny racist shit
In episode 329
Or 392
Very different places in time
Did you know
Ulfric storm cloak
Is a Thalmore asset
He is
He's basically the Skyron version of Osama bin Laden
And there's a note in the Thalmour embassy
You can collect the details
How he was elf funded
Up until
The Civil War broke out
In that the Thalmour could have would have rescued him
In Helgin if Aldein hadn't destroyed the place
So he could keep fucking with the empire
Frankly I want a mod where you can
Fuck Alfred to death
And take his place
And then kill all the Thalmour become emperor
Or whatever
doesn't even
he isn't even married to the idea
just doesn't give a shit
that's just getting bored
throughout a conversation
I got really into Skyrim
when I first played it
but like every subsequent time
that I played through it
I've just
it's really just been more
of an experience kind of thing
for me
so like I don't remember
a lot of the
yeah when you go
the key elements of the story
I just like spending time
in Skyron
when you join a Dark Brotherhood
and eventually you go
kill the Emperor
because that's what every
that's what happens
that's like the law
of the land
in that universe
is like
the Emperor dies
the Emperor is gonna get killed
by a dark brother
eventually someone's gonna say ever always dies you know if you're an emperor in in the
land in the in the elder scrolls you're like your days are fucking number you're not
gonna die peacefully you know it's always gonna be some bloody gonna be some brotherhood
motherfucker shows up that can't speak that you see fucking a toggle will come up a
comments and you're like oh it's you it's the toggle man uh you're finally here you're
finally here and he's he tried to be like so you're gonna kill me it's like yes and i
slit his throat yeah I don't even but yeah he's a he's not said it awful strong
close a piece of shit. It's hard for me to get into video games
right now because I'm like
I'm anticipating something so it's hard for me to
like I'm just thinking about like being excited
to play a very specific thing
and it's difficult for me to get into the headspace of wanting
to play anything else. That's a 4 right now. Do you see the gameplay thing?
No, I don't want to see more of it because I
just I don't know. It shows you the basic
gameplay. I feel like I've seen too much of it
honestly. I agree
but Resident Evil is like. Do you ever Spider-Man? Do you remember
when they were like just they showed the whole fucking game
basically before like
They showed the Sinister 6 in a trailer.
And it's like, oh, man.
I'm like, brother, this could have been cool.
I mean, it was still a huge surprise what happens, though.
Like, you are not ready for what happens in that game ever.
No, I mean, it's a great game and I enjoyed it.
But, like, I remember being like, damn, like, this would have been cool to not know about.
That's true.
And I feel like that's kind of what's happening with Resident Evil Nine where I'm like, the fact that Leon is, like, I know that Leon is in there.
I'm just like, man, that would have been cool.
Or like, that's half the marketing.
I understand.
I understand it.
Like, I logically, I understand.
But I also remember a time where that,
wasn't a thing. Like when like Halo 2 like didn't advertise the Arbiter at all,
uh,
remember,
Chris,
Chris,
you can not remember.
You cannot remember the advertising marketing for Halo 2.
Well,
no, what I'm,
well,
I do.
You do you actually remember?
Yeah.
I really have no, like I'm,
I couldn't imagine.
I remember I think a commercial about it once and I was like, well, what I'm saying is like,
it's,
it's,
I guess I don't remember like the intricacies of it.
No.
But I know that they didn't advertise that.
Really?
They didn't advertise that?
They didn't advertise that.
played as two different characters. And the same thing with middle gear solid, uh, too. Like, it was
like a surprise. So like, I get it. I get why you want to get eyes on it. But I also think
Resident Evil's so safe anyway. Like they're gonna, and I guess it'll be spoiled on day one anyway. So like,
I guess who cares? That game is just gonna succeed. They have so much goodwill right now.
They do. Com has so much goodwill right now. It's crazy. I'm a little worried about it.
Really? Why? I don't know how they're going about the, because you can play it as either or, right?
You can play it as the... There's two different stories, essentially, I'm assuming.
Yeah
And there's a converging narrative
But there's
Assuming it's two
Sure
But they're different
One is gonna be a first person
Horror game more or less
And one's gonna be a
Fucking Leon beats the fuck out of the world game
I just don't know how
They're gonna balance that
You know
Like I don't
It worries me
Because I feel like it's gonna try
And please everybody
By doing that
And then I think it's probably
gonna maybe not please everybody
Or please
I don't know
They've earned enough
Of my goodwill
To assume
That it's going to be good
But like I see
If somebody pitched me that idea
Where it's just like
Should we make this a horror game
Or should we make it an action game?
And somebody goes,
Let's just make it both.
I feel like an alarm bell would be ringing.
You know what I mean?
I'd be like, we can't,
that's kind of noncommittal.
I think they've done both well.
So I'm fine with them trying to do both.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean.
Because I'll see.
I don't think it's going to be a disaster.
Leon's part is just four.
And then the new white woman's part is just seven.
You don't think that'll feel like unfocused?
Not really
I mean I like both aspects of it
So I think I should be fine
But I'm a target audience
You know like I
Because even in Resident Evil Village
Like when you switch to Chris
I don't know where
I remember being like
It's fucking ridiculous
Yeah
It's kind of lame
Like I kind of don't like what this is
Fucking ridiculous
I kind of don't like what's happening here actually
It was it was
It was fine for what it was
I think Resident Evil Village is very much so
The manner is the very strong part of that
Well no
The best part of that game is the
Like the haunted area
Where like the baby
Like that is the best part of the game
Well, it's the most horror part of it, yeah.
I think that's the best.
That's my favorite part.
I like the manner the most.
But the manor is like we got these hot vampire bitches after me.
The manor is the cool part.
Then I think it's that house.
Then I kind of like the fish.
I like that kind of dig the fish.
I hated that guy.
But I hated Heisenberg and the fucking factory.
I hated the factory.
I hated that was five though.
It was obviously that was Resident Evil five.
Yeah.
And I was like, I'm fine with this.
They're not black.
So it's a little underwhelming.
But, you know, I'm fine with this.
What were they?
I don't know, werewolves
They replaced Africans with werewolves
It's like, ah, well, savages are savages
That's crazy
What the fuck
I'm kidding, I'm kidding, bro
I'm kidding
I should speed in Africa right now, man
He's having a ball
I think it's good for people to see Africa's not
Huts, like America portrays it to me
So it's good to
Yeah
Have him see the beauty of that continent
To be fair, even a lot of African charities
portrayed that way, you know what?
Oh no, absolutely
But it's...
Obviously, because it's meant to get money.
It's through the eyes of, you know...
They got buildings and shit.
Like, they got cities and...
It's through the eyes of, obviously, like, white superiority colonialism.
So, like, depict them that way.
It would be like if you just went to Appalachia or Appalachian...
This is America.
It's everywhere in America is like...
It's like, why are there a Wendigo's...
Why's there a Wendigo hang up of a tree and, like, slurping people up into the darkness?
What's going on?
Who strung up a Wendigo?
And it's some guy with his teeth protruding up his fucking...
Up and a part of it.
his jaw and it's like oh
well they're fucking it now
Jesus Christ
what is this
a lot of these are unusually for Derek
so I'm trying to make make it through
oh
Taco Taco 2D
our resident YouTube poop fella
Nice nice
He says this is mostly for Chris
But you mentioned you are playing through
Playing Jack and Daxer for the first time
I know you tried out Sly Cooper
And it didn't really and it didn't really click with it
But you should definitely try Sly 2
and three, those games play more like
stealth sandboxes rather than
platformers. Check them out. Inverted
camera's king by the way. No, man.
That's insane to me. People can believe that.
The inverted camera is so
disgusting. I can't get over. It's hard
for me to get over. I'm upset. You have inverted
only for the Y axis. Do it
for everything then. If you're like inverted so
fucking much, make the camera inverted
period. If you're really about it.
And invert the controls too.
Full send it for me. Then make the
D-pad the action button. Exactly. Like
Don't fucking lie to me.
I want you to move with the fucking right stick.
How about that?
Yo, that would be fucking disgusting.
What if the best game ever was hidden behind that kind of shit?
It would simply not be.
The best experience you ever have.
It would simply not be.
This is like Golden Eye.
You have to relearn the game, though.
It's like Golden Eye, like, that's a good game, but like that controller is like not for it, man.
What a terrible machine.
There's always the one kid learned how he does go.
Like the one kid that guy got with the golden gun just made the game so unful.
fun.
Yeah, just, yeah.
One kid just figured out of high work and he was like, oh shit, I'm going to win every interaction.
You're over there fighting somebody and you're, you're over fighting or having to fight
someone else and then you're just dead.
And it's like, who did that?
And it's like, I don't know.
You're just getting ravaged by like some guy who knows the game better than you.
It's terrible.
That's me playing crashing racing with anybody.
It's just terrible.
It's so good at that game.
No one plays with me.
I don't know how you play versus in that game.
It's awesome.
This doesn't look fun at all to me.
It's so sad.
You just have blue fire the whole time.
And I'm like, I don't know how to even get that.
It's hard.
It's fucking rewarding though, dude.
That's awesome.
I was playing it the other day.
That was me in Towerfall Ascension.
What, Towerfall?
Oh, I remember that.
I was really good at that fucking game.
Remember when I played whiskey and whiskey got fucking so mad?
Yeah.
Because I kept shooting him from behind his body.
That was fucked up.
I remember that.
That game is, I'm very good at Towerfall Ascension.
I don't know why.
Lily got better than me, though, finally.
We kind of played enough.
got better than me. And I was like, wow.
Fucking crazy.
She is, she's super competitive when it comes to me.
Because she's like, oh, she tells everybody, I'm a sore winner.
She says that to everybody.
A sore winner, what is that?
I gloat when I win.
Oh.
But the thing is that we're shit talkers.
Like in our house, no matter what happens, it was shit talking.
We would, I would win in Smash Bros.
And then you, Jalen and Joe was shit talk me for winning.
And I'm like, I won.
What, how am I shit for winning?
You're a pussy for winning.
And then I brought that to her
And as I've gotten older
I've calmed down a lot
And I'm not as much of an asshole
When I win
I try to be kind to people
And she's like
No, you're a jerk
Let's play again
So she played me at Mario
She's like really good at Mario Kart now
Yeah
And I'm like why do you care
And she's like
I have to be better than you
You know what I think about
Still to this day
There was a there was a Smash Brothers game
That we were playing
And I would always play Snake
Because he's such a piece of shit
And you can hide bombs everywhere
And I remember I like died
And then like it was
I can't remember
who it was but it was it was all of us when we were playing
and I had a bomb left on the stage
and then it went off
and killed one of like someone
in the middle of fighting somebody in the middle fighting
while I was like not even in the game anymore and I was like
yo that is so
crazy that's not even cool it's not even fair
scum like it just wasn't
it just wasn't even cool but I was
I was cracking the fuck up dude that game
Smash Ultimate it
unfortunately COVID really shot that
game in the back, I think, because of how many people were playing it online, and they realized
the online framework was just complete dog shit.
The Nintendo Switch Online is like, it might as well...
Not have it, genuinely.
Yeah, you might as well just close your eyes and imagine that you're playing with your friends.
It's really, really bad, but the amount of fun we had when that game first came out was amazing.
Yeah, it was good.
It was a pretty good statement.
We were all at the house.
We were like, I'm pretty sure plenty of us had work in a morning, but we got it on Thursday
night and we just played until a crack a dog.
We got a noise complaint that night.
Oh, yeah.
Because you were playing Smash until well a night.
But it was like, hey, sorry.
You're being a little too loud.
And we're like, oh, sorry.
Close the door and immediately started cheering again.
Yeah, twice as loud.
Turn on a megaphone.
You put on a fucking, you just turn a fucking jet on.
Is there more spite than doing something like that?
Is there anything more spiteful?
The most spiteful someone could be is when it actively hurt themselves in spite.
That is the most spiteful human can be.
It's like, what is wrong with you?
Dude, I was playing through a little bit of fable to yesterday
Because I was like, yeah, I kind of want to see what this was
Or relive a little bit of this
There's a quest where like you meet a ghost
And he's like, my ex-wife, my wife sucks
She left me at the altar, I died
I fucking hate her
I want you to win her heart
I want you to win her heart
I want you to like get it to a point where like she can't even imagine her life without you
And then give her this note
and he hands me a note and it says like
I never loved you
this is all the fucking game for me
you don't deserve anything
you don't deserve a sliver
even the remotest bit of happiness
and when you do it
you can go there and you get the choice to like
either give her the note or just marry her
and steal her from the ghost
and it was actually like
I played fable two for like maybe like 20 minutes
and I was like this is probably like the most compelling
choice I've been given in an RPG in a while actually
because what a crazy
that is true like
yeah that's not that's just unkindness
what would you have done
I don't know
what would your choice be
how cool was she
it's like it's not really that interesting
oh then I would have done
but it's a game
you know you're not gonna actually
fall in love with the character
no but what if there's a real
character line out of that
where you meet the character
and she's like she went away
from all halter because of like
some other shit that happened
I married her because I was like
I'm gonna take this ghost
wife fucking pussy ass ghost
you can't do anything
yeah what are you gonna do
what are you gonna do
hand me a name me
You've demonstrated to me
Your maximum
Your maximum potential
And he even says
It's actually kind of impressive
That I managed to write all this
It took me a while
Because I'm incorporeal
And I was like
Oh you're limited
You can't do shit
I'm gonna steal you
I'm gonna fuck your wife
Why would I not do this
Exclusively go after ghost pussy
That's crazy
I want to fuck some dude
Some dead dude's wife
And I want him to know
He's around
And he can't do anything about it
That is the important
important thing. That's like the, uh, the, the, the ethereal cuck chair, you know? What? It's like the,
like, like, oh, like you're just kind of, yeah. I never like that idea either, like that, that religion
thing where it's like, they're watching you. Your whole family's watching you always. I'm like,
always. I don't know if I want them watching always. I mean, I just, I've had, I've had,
I've had my mouth in some pretty wild places. I've, uh, man, you know, I don't want my aunt's
in that. Yeah, I don't want my grandmother
I certainly don't want my aunt choosing to see that.
Yeah. What if it's involuntary too?
Yeah, you just have to look at you. You're forced
to look after your loved ones after you die.
On eBay, every find has a story.
Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea.
Not just a tea.
The band tea.
From the last show your favorite band ever played.
You wore it everywhere.
Then your BFF started glaring it,
which is cute, until they unfriended you and took it with.
them, which was not so cute. Anyway, now you're on eBay. And there it is, same tea from the same
tour, still living in your memory, rent-free forever. See? The things you love have a way of finding
their way back to you. But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your XBFF stole back. It's also for
that rare championship foul ball you caught, then heroically gave to the kid next to you. And where else are you
go to find your first car. The one you wish you'd never sold, but now, you finally get the chance
to take back home for good this time. Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story. eBay,
things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today?
It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a
managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome.
I think I saw billboarded years recently that said 20 billion one.
20 million is an insane number.
Yeah, 20 billion recovered.
It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.
And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?
What would I do if I got into an accident?
Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.
That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open.
Our call center is always waiting to take your call.
24-7, 365.
Wow.
Dan Morgan.
From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfirm,
thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me.
Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.
He's like, there he goes, fucking jerking off again.
Jesus.
It's a seventh time today, man.
He's got an addiction.
He's got a problem.
I can't even, like.
I can't even help him.
I can't even help him.
He's doing all these things to save face.
I'm looking at.
I'm watching him download the quit porn.
app and he just constantly resets it.
He just thinks downloading it is enough.
I'm just like, man, dude,
like, it's so disappointed.
The quit porn app is crazy.
The app, there's an app to quit porn.
Well, there's apps to quit, like,
vices in general.
I understand, but quitting, the quitting porn app is crazy.
It's an app that it's quit porn.
It's only for that, yeah.
It helps you quit porn, and its success rate is zero.
God, damn, this guy's got folders.
He's got folders.
He's got folders.
He has four.
screens.
Brother,
like he's got...
This nigger looks like
Batman right now
watching porn.
He looks like fucking
Mr.
House right now,
man.
That's fucking crazy.
How much porn
could you possibly watch?
Is he,
he's watching two videos
with 50%
opacity overlaid on one
another dude?
That's insane.
That's monstrous.
That is monstrous.
That is really like that.
That's the end.
That's like,
oh,
like,
yeah.
Like,
that's when your parents can't
touch you no more.
You can't hug you
after that.
Yeah.
You're just like you're gone.
It's not enough to have like, it's not enough to have two screens with two different things.
I want to watch one screen and see, and see both.
Because then you just start overlay, like you start truly just overlaying as a way it's just concoffinous.
Yeah.
You don't know what you're looking at.
What if you did, what if you, what if you did, what if you, what if you started, if you were that addicted to pornography, right?
And you just had like, you would just overlay videos with, like, some limit of, like, transparency over it over and over again.
This is a black screen.
Over and over again.
And then, but eventually, like, the image of a man shows, like, like, slowly but surely, like, like, the image of, like,
like a man shows up.
He holds a sign and he says,
I'm coming to find you.
What would that make you feel?
Would that make you feel?
Might as well finish watching, you know.
Yeah.
That wouldn't take you out of the mood at all.
Like,
what are you going to do?
He's already,
he's already,
he's already knows about me, you know?
You're already full chub, I guess.
Exactly.
You're like 90% there.
Like, what am I going to do?
Stop beating off and he kills me
or I finish his beating off
and then worry about the problem
when I've got a clear head, you know?
I love the rational.
The scientific explanation there was just like, it's better for me.
This is scary, but it's better for me to come because I need to be clear-headed.
I only do I only be fucking come-starved and worrying about being killed.
But you pass out and then you wake up and he's already like, he's already like on his way to you.
Like the turn of the Destructo disc.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I forgot about that.
That's an old fucking bit.
The slow destructo disc.
Spamps rode in.
He says, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, you, what is this?
Hey, are you lovely, ethereal goblins for my nightmares or dreams.
I'll let you decide.
Second time patron, long time follower of all of your guys' work.
Yo, yo, yo, yo.
Since 2015.
It's a while ago.
Jeez, fucking 11 years ago, man.
Makes no sense.
The question I have for you all today is simple.
What form of fan content from your life have you seen that brought you such immense joy,
but when trying to find it years later, you can't find it at all.
Oh, man.
One that comes to mind for me is actually a lot.
Snark Tank animated that I saw on YouTube a while back.
I don't remember who made it, but it was you guys talking about
how Frat Boys are gayer than gay men,
which was taken down from YouTube,
I assumed due to there being floppy dixing the animation.
Oh, that was Perry, right?
That's the one of Perry made, yeah.
That's Perry.
Shout out Perry, dude.
That's the boy.
That's the homie.
I forgot of that.
That was like, that was what we made that?
I was like, Perry, why do you make this?
I was surprised because I was like,
yo, that's so vivid.
Because that was the thing about like
shoving a flashy dickens up somebody's nostril,
getting hard,
and then like having some guys
flappy
in the hospital
what made it funny
is that Perry's like a real animator
He's like he has like proper credits
Like he's like credited
He works on a lot of stuff
And it's like he made this
And it's like dude
What a waste of time
Not time talent
Dude oh my God
I miss that guy so much man
I haven't seen him in 10 years
I think basically
He came out here like
He came out here
He was here for a little bit
He lived at the Avalon
Him
Him was him
I mean
And what you call it?
and one of our other friends lived there.
Yeah.
And that was a long time ago.
And he came up and he's like,
I don't really like L.A.
Then he went to freaking Georgia and met his wife.
And I was like, well,
well, there you go.
I mean, you're happy.
So be happy not in California, I guess.
Yeah, I mean,
I guess we won't say where he is
because I don't know if that's private.
But I don't even think that's true.
Really?
Yeah, I don't think that's true.
But it's fine because it's whatever.
That's true.
But, uh, yeah, that,
ha.
It was a really good mission.
You sound like you had something.
Who me?
Yeah, yeah.
Like you because the question
There's like there's the ergomancy one
It's a classic
That was the great fucking the robots
Well fan content from your life
That you've seen that brought you a much joy
It doesn't have to be snark tank related
Oh really in general
Yeah
Oh there's plenty of
There was a mod for something
Oh my God
There was a
There was a Skyrim mod
That was like really cool
That I can't remember
What the fuck the context of it was
But it's gone now
And I remember really like
The fan content in general
That I really like
That's gone
It's kind of a hard question
I guess like
You don't even need
The second qualifier
I guess it doesn't have to be gone now, but like, is there anything that's like,
there's so much fan content that I've, like, really enjoyed.
I'm a fucking Star Wars fan.
So that's like pretty much everything good from Star Wars is fan content effectively.
There's a lot of old Machinima stuff that I miss that I wish was still available.
Oh, dude, there were so many machinemas.
Before Machinima kind of really died in, like, 2015.
Yeah.
They were making, like, machinima shows.
So they had the Mortal Kombat fucking Machinima show.
Oh, yeah.
The Street Fighter one.
And the Mortal Kombat one was actually really fucking cool.
and I was super excited to watch it every week.
And then it stopped halfway through because that's when my shit
I'm a fucking blew up.
And I was like, no, this is really cool.
No, why did you get rid of it?
I wanted to finish this.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
The thing that Lio finished too.
I forgot what it's called.
The one that he finished?
Yeah.
It's a joke.
It's like Lio finished this.
What the fuck?
That was digital fear.
That was, what the fuck was it?
DeSex Machina.
There are a lot of cool stuff.
A lot of cool stuff like that's gone.
But it is what is like I guess
Same as it used to be man
It's not about what you create man
It's about
I don't know
People getting upset at you
Yeah it's like a million robots anyway
Who cares
It's really sad
Anyway let's see
Let's get this one
This last one out
Okay
This is
Menacing Creature wrote in
It's the menacing creature himself
Oh
Yeah
He says hello there
You lovely boys
First time patron
Longtime listener
A lot of that.
A lot of those.
A lot of those coming in.
Much appreciated.
I work as an airline security guard to pass the time.
I listen to your podcast to pass the bone eroding time in this airport.
MIA.
What is MIA?
I'm missing in action.
No, well, I mean, I assume that that's the airport.
Miami?
Is that what it is?
Miami International.
Miami International.
All right.
Doxed.
Recently there was a bomb threat.
here. You can look up the story, but there were massive evacuations in a lot of hysteria.
At the time of writing this, it seems that everything is secure and hopefully I don't randomly
explode before my shift is over. My question is, what is the worst experience you boys have
ever had in an airport, safe travels? Oh my
God. Nothing really that bad.
Dude. I don't even know if it's like, it's, it ends in an airport, but
the specifics of the story are kind of gone for me, to be honest. It's, it's a
little bit fuzzy. But I remember
going to the airport,
I was leaving New York City, and I was
headed for L.A.
And so I was like, oh, I got to, you have to
factor in, like, train time, train arrival times,
how long it takes to get from Grand Central
to JFK from a taxi cab. So you factor all that
stuff in, and I was like, I had
a good, like, three and a half hours,
four hours to get there. Oh, yeah, you're chilling. And I was like,
okay, this is.
as closer than I'd like it to be.
But my parents were like,
you could leave a little bit later.
You'll be fine.
And I was like, okay, fine.
So I left it a little bit later.
Train is delayed.
Oh, it's over.
I can't remember how many minutes,
but it was long.
It wasn't long,
but it was long enough for me
to be like, fuck, man.
And so, like, the train's late into,
into Grand Central.
I get out,
I get into a taxi cab.
I go JFK, and he goes, no.
And I'm like,
what?
I'm paying you to go somewhere.
What the fuck are you saying?
He's like, no, I don't go to JFK.
I'm like, you're outside of Grand Central Station.
Go on a random city block then.
What are you doing here?
It's insane.
The guy I get in with, finally, after like a couple tries, I find a cab to take me to Grand Central or to JFK.
I'm in the cab.
Traffic.
40 minutes of traffic.
Oh, my God.
And I'm stressed the fuck out.
I'm like, oh my God.
I don't.
I can't.
I can't fucking do this.
I get, I don't remember the specific,
I think I told this story on a, on a podcast,
but with more specifics.
But I basically got there at the time that the door,
that boarding was happening.
I got to JFK at the time boarding was happening.
And like I get there, I'm like running out.
I have my headphones on.
I'm listening to music to just calm me the fuck down.
I run out of my cab.
And then as I'm running,
my music cuts out because my phone is in the fucking cab.
And I'm like, that's my boarding pass.
That's everything.
It's in a New York city.
I literally fell to my knees.
I literally fell to my knees outside of JFK.
I was like, this can't be happening.
And then I like fucking like my brain short circuit and I just, I like focused.
And I sprinted at the cab, which by the way, there were like seven other cabs.
And I didn't know which one was it.
They got stuck in traffic.
Thank God because it would have been like, you know, off on the fucking highway if that hadn't happened.
I ran to the first cab I saw.
reach my hand in and just hoped
that a phone would be there and it was. It was my phone. I was like,
oh my God, I just guessed. And then I sprinted
into JFK. I ran past a lot of people in security. I was
like, I'm late, I'm late, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm late, I'm sorry. I'm
late, I'm late. I'm late. And I was crying
because I was like, I can't believe I lost my
fuck. You don't have been fuck if you had luggage.
Yeah, I don't show up with luggage for this very reason.
That's smart. But I usually
maybe I have like a carry-on or something, but I never
check a bag. But I was
like, I looked sweaty and
scared and sad.
So I think a lot of people
let me pass them in line
because I was just like
they just didn't want any part of it.
But, so I made it through
and I sprinted to the gate.
Boarding started
well, like a couple
minutes before I even got out of the cab.
I sprinted
to the gate,
the gate was changed.
And so I was like,
you've got to be fucking kidding.
So I ran to a different gate
to the one that like I checked
that was like sprinting
in every direction.
And then I found it.
I got there one minute after the doors closed.
And I was like sweat.
My jackets.
My pants are falling there because my belt is off from security.
I didn't have time.
So like my pants are half off.
I'm crying.
I'm red because I'm so stressed.
And I'm out of,
I didn't eat that morning either.
It was just so bad.
And they were like,
okay.
Go, go, go.
They felt so bad for me, dude,
that they,
just let me through and I just like sat I sat there I sat in the chair on the plane and
silently cried like I just like silence like tears but no noise such a miserable fucking
experience I have had so few bad experiences flying honestly I just don't like it sorry I've
never I've never had that because I leave so early I usually leave early and then I was convinced
not to and this is why this is just like the the it's not the same thing but it's just
like the GPS
in the car where it's just like
I just got to trust my guts
I just got to trust my gut I can't do it
like this last time we went to New York
mainly were waiting at Transcentral because
obviously the trains the trains from
up in the further upper parts of New York
on weekdays
they only go to a certain on the weekends
they only go to a certain time yeah so we left
super early
but we had luggage so we couldn't really hang out in New York
and we were just like that's why I don't like bringing luggage
They were just like, what are we going to do?
So we just hung out in the airport for like genuinely eight hours.
That sucks.
We were there from the point that like we got there on like 10 and we boarded at like six.
Airports are like the worst place because it's not even like you're in the place.
They're not even comfortable.
You're not even like if you've been to Chicago International Airport, you haven't been to Chicago.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like it doesn't count really.
I would have loved it just but it was also late too.
So we couldn't really do anything.
Yeah.
So we just kind of just stuck me like, oh my God.
I've stayed in airports from like, you know, 11 p.m. to like 7 a.m.
It sucks.
It sucks.
It's really, yeah.
I usually stay, like, outside of security in case I, like, want to go somewhere.
They usually are okay about that overnight.
But, you know, you can, because we can even check our shit in.
That's the main to work.
If we were able to, if you could have to.
Yeah.
If we were going to check our stuff and we would have done stuff because we wouldn't have luggage.
You were all right.
Everything's checked in.
We'll do our boarding and our screening again when we get into the place.
But we couldn't even do that.
So we were just sitting there, fucking playing games on our phones and laughing at bullshit.
And it was, it's, oh my God, I just, I hate planes, I hate everything about it.
I just wish they made seats smaller on purpose to make people fucking more uncomfortable to talk about people in planes.
I love it.
I love how shit everything is.
It's insane.
On eBay, every find has a story.
Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea, not just a tea.
The band tea
From the last show your favorite band
ever played.
You wore it everywhere.
Then, your BFF started glaring it.
Which is cute
until they unfriended you
and took it with them.
Which was not so cute.
Anyway, now you're on eBay.
And there it is.
Same tea from the same tour.
Still living in your memory,
rent-free forever.
See?
The things you love have a way
of finding their way back to you.
But eBay isn't just forgetting
whatever your ex-BFF stole back.
It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught
then heroically gave to the kid next to you.
And where else are you going to find your first car?
The one you wish you never sold, but now,
you finally get the chance to take back home for good this time.
Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story.
eBay, things people love.
I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.
Say hi, Dan.
Hey, how's it going today?
It's going good.
man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at
Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw
billboarded years recently that said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number. Yeah,
20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.
And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting
bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?
What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.
That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your
call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law,
from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you.
Well, this is the last one that we're going to do. Let's hear it.
the one we just read was supposed to be the last one,
but I saw this and I couldn't resist it.
Coffee Kingston Jameson wrote it.
It's Kofi.
Kofi.
It's Kofi.
Is that what it is?
This is a wrestler called Kofi Kingston.
Oh, I have no idea.
Who wasn't even Jamaican?
It's like, what's the point?
Why are you all lying to me?
Like, that's letting me himself.
What's the point?
He says,
Our whole universe was covered in hot, dense come,
than nearly 14 billion years ago,
expansion started bum his dick began to cool the auto cox began to drill neanderthals fucked
and gruel we built the balls we built a pair of dicks ass prying piss and pee unravelling the
dicksteries that all started with the big gay ass priming piss and pee is great ass prying
piss and pee is fucking awesome that's that's the only reason i read it that's a good one ass prying
piss and pee sucks it's not good at all piss and pee is a very
A very wonderful combination
They are separate things, I think
Piss and pee,
yeah.
Piss is on the ground.
P is in the toilet.
Do you know what I mean?
Does that not make sense?
So if anything pisses on yourself or someone.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Piss is in clothes.
No, piss is on something.
Piss is on something.
something. P is in something. You pee in the pool, but you piss on a person. Exactly.
I think that's actually true, though. I think there's validity to that. There's some truth to that.
It's dog shit. I mean, it's. Because you don't pee, pee in your pants is like, you can pee your
pants because it pee is on your pants. But the rapper of raises is I piss my pants. Right.
Or I pissed in his bitch's eye.
You're right.
Do you, let's say you have a child in Detroit, young woman.
And you find out she's been letting dudes piss on her.
What?
That's such she's in it.
Wait, do I have a child with somebody?
I have a child with somebody.
No, your child is like years later.
You find your daughter's getting pissed on.
Like, that's her thing.
Oh.
And it's like, honey, what are you doing?
How'd that happen?
That would be my question because I certainly wouldn't allow that.
The fuck?
Why do you like being pissed on?
That's kind of my thing.
It's like, I don't want to know those things about my kids, really.
I don't mind, like, not in a prudish way, I just don't, I don't, I don't want to know the intimate lives of my children.
Like, I don't need to know that.
I'd rather not.
I'd rather not.
Yeah.
But at the same time, I feel like you have to be a parent that's willing to hear your kids.
I mean, you know, though.
Because we're the product of, you know, our parents being like, you know, kind of coy about it.
It's like, don't really say anything about it.
I understand.
It's not even about that, though.
Like, I don't feel that.
it's more about like
it's not a judgment thing
I just I don't want to hear
I don't want to hear that about my parents
It's hard not to judge
But it's like
It's like when people say like we're trying for a baby
You know what I mean
It's just like
So you're fucking
You're fucking you're fucking
Just be on just stop
I hate that
Well it's done with the parents is strange
It's like
Like yeah I mean you I mean
I'm fucking
I'm fucking your daughter hard
I'm dumping loads of coming to your daughter
I'm just sprained
It's like fucking
What is it?
It's like teptobismal
Your daughter right now
It's pink?
You know how the Pepto Bismar coats the lungs and everything?
Yeah.
They drink it.
Look, look, look, look, look.
Look, look, look, look, look.
Look, look, look, look.
The defining characteristic of Peptobizmo is not that it coats the lungs.
No, it's not lungs.
It's not the lungs.
Listen.
If you're coating your lungs with Peptobismol, it's crazy, you're going to die.
What I'm saying is, what I'm saying is the defining characteristic of Peptobismo is not that it's, that it coats the stomach.
Yes, but it's a thing.
It's pink.
But it's a coating.
It is a coating without a doubt.
That's the point.
That's the point of it, not the main thought of it.
I understand.
And if you're coming pink, that's that kind of pink too, like a fucking strawberry pink.
It's like you're bleeding just a little bit in a really bad place.
And also really, it's blended quite well.
It's like those painting videos where people like.
Exactly.
The blending.
The constant blendings.
That's disgusting.
Look.
Don't come.
I'm dumping,
I'm dumping copious sludge
in your fucking, like insane.
Sludge is gross.
Sperm is not sludge.
I mean, it's close.
It's not.
It's ooze of anything.
Yeah, it's ooze.
Sludge is by his nature,
grow, like, like, nasty.
Is it?
Yeah.
Is come not nasty?
If you were covered and come,
would you feel great about it?
I wouldn't feel great about it.
Would you feel clean?
Would you feel clean if you were coated and come?
That's internalized homophobia.
No, it's not.
It is.
No, it's not internalized homophobia to not want to be covering cum.
What is the, what is come effectively?
What is come effectively?
What is come effectively? Is it insane question?
What is the fuck do you mean?
It's a bodily excretion.
But it's not even waste, though.
It's not way.
Come is not waste.
It's not different enough from waste.
Is this something that comes out of you?
That's it.
This is a crazy.
It is like, like, it's true.
What comes out of you that isn't waste?
A cum is the only thing.
That's the only thing?
It's the only thing, literally.
What is more likely,
Gakeson, that it's all waste or this is one arbitrary thing that isn't waste?
You're cornering me, but I'm going to get out of this.
Okay, get out of it.
That is true, but exceptions to the rule always exist.
Would you come in your own mouth?
No, not on purpose, of course.
I'd rather not eat my cum.
Why?
Because I'd rather not eat.
I don't want to recycle that way.
You don't want to recycle what?
Come.
Bodily excretions.
Yeah.
Why?
Because it's cum.
I don't like.
I think I win. I think I win. I like that kid's eating my fucking haploid cells, you know?
I think I win. I think I win. I think you have a stronger argument than I do.
I'll put it this way, Kingston. If you came all over your chest, would you shower? Would you not shower?
Immediately?
That's crazy. We're going to move on. We're going to get the fuck out of here. We're going to read the names for our $25 enough patrons.
Thank you for
For your support
My cumpermed chest hair
I'll tell you otherwise
So he reaches behind him
And you just hear cracks
It sounds like
Cracks coming from his chest
Like you think it's bones
But then you realize like
No I can't
And you see flakes
Coming out of his shirt
Good Lord man
Did you
Did you come on your belly
And have the nerve
To immediately fall asleep
Like you don't
You had the gall
I think I did that one
I've never fallen
I have who am I lying?
I did that
I'm lying I tried to listen
Listen I would never
I would never do that again
I did that when I was very sick
And I just needed some respite
And it was just like I just
I literally if I get up right now
I will I will crumble to my knees and die
Having sex when you're sick is such a bad idea
It is such a bad idea
In what way what do you mean?
Because you're not like if you're actually sick
Like not if you like have a bit of a sniff or like
that when you're actually, I've had the flu and I've tried to have sex before.
And it's such a bad idea.
It's not great.
You got to hydrate.
I fell on the girl effectively.
Yeah.
I like, fell on the girl and she was like, are you all right?
And I was like, yeah, I'm perfectly fine.
I'm pretty fine.
I'm just fucking slumped over at my penis fucking flopping out for no reason.
Look, when you're sick, you do things that you normally wouldn't do, you know?
Yeah.
Like, fucking mistakenly come on your fucking girlfriend.
And then pass out and lay onto the bed.
Don't even get a towel.
They don't even get like a, or not a towel, but like a paper towel.
Dude, there's a couple of the girl and leaving her there.
It's such a brutal thing.
That's a mean thing.
It's like, just getting up and going about your business.
So deeply inconsiderate it.
It's really terrifying for the girl.
He probably, oh my God, I fuck the guy like that.
Why would that be terrifying?
He's just sex.
Some guys came on you and it gets up.
Oh.
Yeah.
He gets up, you think he's getting, you think he's getting.
You think he's getting a paper tower or tissues
And then you hear the front door shut
No, you hear the PlayStation.
Beep!
That's insidious as fuck, dude.
He's like, what the fuck?
He's still naked.
He's dressed up.
He's got a suit on it.
He's looking prim.
It looks like he showered.
It's crazy.
It's like, what's his name?
He's glowing.
It's like Vash stream right after fucking his girlfriend.
He gets up like naked, strolling,
sauntering past us in the camera.
Do you remember that?
Did that happen with Vos?
I'm pretty sure.
Yeah, he fucked the girl.
And then she got up and she was like naked and she sauntered past the camera naked.
And it's like, well, that doesn't sound familiar to me.
I'm pretty sure.
I'm pretty sure that happened to Vash.
I don't think so.
I'm pretty sure it did.
I don't know about that.
Look it up.
Maybe.
I don't know.
I'm not going to look that up.
But whatever.
We're going to read the $25 in up names for our patrons over at Patreon.
I'm sorry to snark tank.
Remember you can go over there.
Snocktank.
Shop also for merch.
We're just going to read the names now.
Count me.
Count me down.
Sorry about that.
I think we hit the two-hour mark.
I don't think we lost much of anything.
But for some reason, our hard drive did a weird thing where it stopped exactly at two hours.
Whatever.
It'd be like that.
We're going to read the names now.
Okay.
$25 on up patrons.
Patreon.com slash a snark tank.
Snarktank.
Shop for merch.
And go over there.
Go over there or we'll hurt you.
We need a drop.
We need a drop.
I'm going to hit up some people.
We'll hurt you.
We'll hurt you.
We'll hurt you.
Give us suggestions of, what you call it?
Of, like art pieces y'all want, you know?
I just got to make time.
Because if anything, I can just have people, we have commission people, like, just set up.
I have designs that, like, I'm sitting on.
I'm just, like, I'm trying to, like, organize them in a way that makes sense.
But.
On eBay, every find has a story.
Like, if you're looking for a vintage band tea.
Not just a tea.
The band tea.
From the last show, your favorite band.
ever played. You wore it everywhere. Then your BFF started glaring it, which is cute,
until they unfriended you and took it with them, which was not so cute. Anyway, now you're on
eBay. And there it is, same tea from the same tour, still living in your memory, rent-free,
forever. See, the things you love have a way of finding their way back to you. But eBay isn't
just forgetting whatever your ex-BFF stole back. It's also for that rare champion,
friendship foul ball you caught, then heroically gave to the kid next to you. And where else are you
going to find your first car? The one you wish you'd never sold, but now, you finally get the chance
to take back home for good this time. Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story.
eBay, things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going
today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney.
and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.
That's pretty awesome.
I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one.
20 million is an insane number.
Yeah, 20 billion recovered.
It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.
And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?
What would I do if I got into an accident?
Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.
That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open.
Our call center is always waiting to take your call.
24-7, 365.
Wow.
Dan Morgan.
From Morgan and Morgan,
America's Large Injury Lawfram,
thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me.
Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.
Whatever.
I think you should do the Wolverine me as a shirt.
We were not doing that.
Why?
It is a wolver swing.
It's not that bad, I guess.
The other one is funnier, obviously.
but like, you're a fucking coward
and you don't want to fucking push the envelope.
Count me down.
Count me, count me down.
Three, two, one.
Queerston Gammison.
This is mean.
I'm not queer.
It is just mean.
The look of show,
why is it bad to be queer?
There might be a queer sin, though.
Oh, that's probably possible.
The look of shock on Unreal Engine's face
when Israel Engine walks in the room.
Unreal Israel.
That is so...
I can't believe I've never heard Israel Engine, though.
Israel Engine 5.
That's crazy.
That's how to control the weather.
That's fucking great.
It's a weather machine.
Get off...
Get off my toddler-sized clit.
I like that you seem to understand comedic timing.
I don't like you as a person.
What the fuck is that?
What is that?
I felt like an attack in that place.
That felt like someone cast...
That felt like I was inflicted with madness for a second.
You know what I mean?
That didn't feel like none of those sentences
bled into each other in a way that I feel okay about.
Anyway.
A different sad guy from Michigan.
Louis Armstrong singing,
We are Charlie Kirk under genuine duress.
Benjamin Netanyagrew
be like, tonight we steal balance.
Palestine. Is that a
despicable me? Yeah. I don't know anything
about it. I've never seen any of them.
He grew is definitely Jewish.
Oh.
This is the nose? I see.
Any unbound evil? I'm kidding.
He's grueish.
Young Kingston is just want to be Latarian
Milton.
Bim bite.
Cold brew king, fake spit in your
hand and grease your hair back. I fucking hate that.
Alpha V or Alpha 5.
gayest,
the gayest Broncos fan
in history of being gay
teleporting the
third tower away
so we had 911
instead of 9-11
that's not what 9-11
means
you imagine
what's the 9
September but then
each each one symbolizes
the tower
he imagine
I could see
convincing
like a very stupid person
that's the reason
why it's called
yeah like a Jen
like a Gen Z kid
you can get them
to be that
like a young
no not just Gen Z
You need to be like pretty stupid
But like I think you could do it
You could find somebody
Yeah my nephew I can do it with him right now
Yeah
How old is he?
He's six now
Yeah
Yeah, you could probably do it
Yeah
With enough conviction
You could do it
Yeah but no one has to break this
The joke
It has to be like
Consistent thing everybody
It's around him
Yeah you kind of have to mention it
As like a fun fact
And then just have
Make sure nobody ever corrects him
And then let it sit in the back
Of his baseline knowledge
So that way one day
When he's older he'll bring it up
As if he has like an interesting thing to say
And then he's gonna be
embarrassed in front of everybody
that's I love that
that's the most exciting thing about having kids to me
that is abuse but like in a different way
it's not really no
it's funny
yeah it says to me it's not abuse
is there funny abuse
if you make your son just like a monkey
get on a unicycle and juggle
and you throw fire at it
he wants to do it he said he wants to do it
that's funny
I told him to read the teleprompter
and he said he wants to do it
daddy's cummies
viscous and brown
big chrisie
the choloker
threatening to turn Gotham Mexican.
It's a dangerous.
Dangerous.
Dangerous one would say.
How long do you think ice is surviving on Gotham?
Me?
Like ice in general.
Wait, ice? What are you saying?
How long are you surviving Gotham?
I don't...
Not very long.
Not very long.
No.
I think a crocodile man would eat them eventually.
Yeah, they would be.
They would not be.
Although, like...
Yeah, I don't know, actually.
It's a big question because, like, who would be controlling it?
It depends on who's got the reins of ice.
It'd be like a reshuggle or some shit.
That'd be a problem.
They'd be pretty formidable, I think.
In that case.
I think it'd still be ice, but they'd also have to leave assassins like somewhere in a lingering areas.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
Malik Berry, I feel like ice is in some ways it is Gotham.
You know, like they're kind of carrying the Gotham spirit into wherever it is they go.
So, like, it's hard for me to imagine.
It's hard for me to imagine them being at odds, I guess.
I, I don't know, maybe.
It's pretty corrupt, dude.
Like, it's, it's like, it's like,
it's like, what,
it's a place?
No, I.
Horrible.
Like, the idea of just like,
yeah, we're going to disarm this guy and then we're going to, um, magda.
Like,
that's something that Gotham PD would do.
Yeah.
You know,
so like it's,
I don't know how to,
I don't know what to make of that.
It's like,
how would,
how would itself be itself?
Right.
It's like,
like, ice is,
ice is Gotham made manifest.
Made into a,
I don't know,
a fucking military force.
Sudo.
Shout out
Shout out
Everybody in Indianapolis
Shout out everybody in Minneapolis right now
I want to say shout out ice
You know my favorite way
I only like ice in one way
And it's crushed in in my freezer
That's what I like
On eBay
Every Find has a story
Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea
Not just a tea
The Band Tea
From the last show your favorite band
ever played. You wore it everywhere. Then your BFF started glaring it, which is cute,
until they unfriended you and took it with them, which was not so cute. Anyway, now you're on
eBay. And there it is, same T from the same tour. Still living in your memory, rent free forever.
See, the things you love have a way of finding their way back to you. But eBay isn't just
forgetting whatever your ex-BFF stole back. It's also for that rare championship
foul ball you caught, then heroically gave to the kid next to you. And where else are you
going to find your first car? The one you wish you never sold, but now, you finally get the
chance to take back home for good this time. Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story.
eBay, things people love. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today?
It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a
partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.
That's pretty awesome.
I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said $20 billion.
$20 billion is an insane number.
Yeah, $20 billion recovered.
It's actually, I think somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.
And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?
What would I do if I got into an accident?
Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.
That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open.
Our call center is always waiting to take your call.
24-7, 365.
Wow.
Dan Morgan.
From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law,
from, thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me.
Visit forethepeople.com for an office near you.
Nice.
Yeats spute, Pikachu.
DeForvid's latest victim,
Derrick and White Woman,
installing a bathtub in the kitchen to relax more.
The dead spider, Avery Gay Man,
the invention of homosexuality,
aggressively sodomizing Neil deGrasse Tyson
with a frozen pineapple until it thaws,
then politely asking him if he still has the,
and then it cuts off.
You guys got to be, you guys got to,
you guys got to think in advance about what you're right,
and it cuts off.
It's too long for the page.
Thawing a pineapple on an asshole,
seems to say.
It's next level stuff.
Interesting.
It's gay.
It's a gay.
I'm Captain Lou and I'm talking to you.
Delta Gamma.
You're right there, Ma?
I feel you're experiencing something pretty wild.
I'm here.
I'm good, man.
I'm good.
All right, man.
Good.
Clamule Esquire III.
I literally fed the solid last week guys is still crying.
Queens pound Jama daughter.
King Dad, fist fighting an entire maternity ward.
I'm going to kill the present with a mortar
Teenage, Tooten
Mean Age Needle Teedles
I am become gay, destroyer of straight,
Snark Tank's only gay furry listener,
chainsaw chud, deep-dicking ice agents' wives
because they sure aren't doing it.
Uh, yeah, I mean, yep.
Hassan hate fucking destiny.
Fucking Steve.
I sell cum-filled rats
near Broadway on the down low.
Yeah, don't tap that ass.
Your Zerger Erole's Yangya-sized genus.
Rains shifted, the Sloker 2 isodurpy, Anna de leg penis.
Do you get it? Do you get it?
Yes.
Anna de Armass?
Do you get it?
Leg penis?
Anyway, butt stack.
Dig me down.
I'm sick from all this cock that I'm...
And it cuts off.
I wasn't even long.
You didn't even run out of characters.
He just cut it off.
He just stopped writing.
Look, all this cock.
All right.
Hasan Piker seeing something funny and making a strain to exhale.
Fucking wheeze.
My favorite X-Man is Ted Kaczynski.
Ted Kardsinsky, sorry
Attaching my colostomy bag to my feeding tube
For an infinite food hack
So disgusting
It's effective though, I mean
No, it's not
Why not? Why wouldn't that wouldn't work you're saying?
Yeah
In what way? Why wouldn't it? Waste.
Oh, it's waste?
That is waste, yes.
Interesting.
Sperm isn't waste.
It is waste product.
It's not a waste product.
Do you think you get survival off a gum, like exclusively?
If you drank like a cup of cum every day and that was like your only choice of.
Or like somebody else.
Like just a person.
I don't know.
Like an average person.
No.
Mad a couple of come.
You need more cum than that.
Interesting.
At least a at least a gallon of cum a day to insatiate you.
Tank is the trash man.
Daycare monk using quivering palm 36 times a day.
Nward Cullen.
Domo Nation.
Using the power of AI and V-tubing to bring my dead dog back to life.
Derek notchhova is innocent hashtag for him.
Brown died Asian going 15 and a 65.
You're such a cunt.
It's such a dick thing.
Why are you doing that?
You're proving them right.
Don't do that.
Hassan pulling the hair off of girls.
He's fucking, fucking weaves.
Chris, when he wants to avoid communication with his friends, be like, I'm hungry.
Let's move on.
Real shit, man.
It clocked you.
It clocked you perfectly.
That's a good thing.
I haven't actually tried that in that context, but I think I might do it.
All right, I'm hungry.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
I just in the middle of like a...
Like we're talking to you about a breakup.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm just talking about.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
Right, yeah.
It's getting long.
It's getting late.
Let's move on.
Let's move on to the questions.
And we're all like at my house.
We're just like, uh...
That's rough.
You sure?
Cholo man.
Cholo, man's I can't wait to get some Amish pussy.
Is that a Cholo thing?
I don't know.
I don't think so.
It doesn't strike me as a Cholo thing.
I feel like Amish pussy is just really low-grade pussy.
I feel like it's a Tolo thing.
It's pretty rank, right?
It's low-grade pussy, yeah.
I don't want a stereotype because I don't know if they're like, I don't know.
I can't imagine their cave, man.
I'm sure they bathe, but it's undoubtedly less important.
I can't imagine like structural America having like, you know.
Do they wear deodorant to the Amish?
You know what I mean?
I can't imagine that.
I just don't know.
I can't imagine them doing anything that's even remotely modern.
I know a bunch of Amish people just leave.
You're like, oh, let's go have fun outside and like pop your.
and they come on.
They're like,
I'm just going to suck a bunch of dick.
Oh.
Why not?
Well,
I didn't,
I didn't,
I didn't,
I didn't,
I didn't know that.
What?
They get their off year.
What are you saying?
I'm sure they get like
a bit of time to go and like,
explore the real world.
Yeah.
What?
You didn't know that was a thing?
No.
That happens.
What do you mean?
Who decides that?
Is it like a bar mitzvah?
It's like,
all right,
and you can you see if you want to come back
to a culture or not.
That's kind of wild.
I thought it was,
I just assumed it was a cult that they didn't let you.
It is a cult, but like, you know.
That's kind of wild that they let you go out.
It's more than most cults.
But I mean, you go out, then you lose all your community.
Are you going to go out to a restaurant where you're going to see?
Yeah, but you get porn.
Man.
You get videos of Mia Khalifa that she really doesn't want you seeing.
But I mean.
Poor her, man.
Yeah, I mean, I respect it.
I get it.
I get feeling that way.
I'll put it that way, right?
Yeah, but it's like you can't ask people.
You're not going to tell me, though.
I saw a thing that wasn't real.
because it was like somebody saying like Riley Ray
Riley Reid gave birth or whatever
So she's like she's asking nobody to watch
I know that that's not true
Because she posts she posts still
I follow her intensely
So like
I know that was fake
But it's funny to imagine that that's like
People were probably like really pissed off about that
It's like the nerve of this woman
Anyway
Would you fuck Riley Reed?
Yeah
She's not my type at all
Really?
It's not my type at all
And that makes sense
She's like she's
She's also like white Hispanic too
There's like the, like, that's my not, my not kind of Hispanic woman.
I'm always the, I'm always, as you've known, I'm always the browner kind of Hispanic people.
They usually tend to flow towards.
Is she Hispanic?
I didn't even know.
She's half Hispanic.
Read?
Chris, that doesn't matter.
I know, I know.
Just doesn't look in Spanish.
Well, no, never mind.
Actually, never mind.
It makes, it makes perfect sense.
It makes a lot of sense.
It makes a lot of sense, actually.
Yeah, I don't know.
I'll put it this way.
Not now.
Not in like, not as I am now.
Yeah, grown up, well, grown up me, I don't think.
I would do it. But like I think that would have, yeah.
You know, like if I was 20 year old me, yes. Yes. If I had absolutely no prospects.
Yeah, why wouldn't I? You know, that's like a cultural story for sure.
Yeah, fucking porn star is like something you do for the plot. But then you get to the point,
your stories already kind of done and you're like, I don't need another chapter. I don't need a
super. Right, right. Exactly. Yeah. I don't need Chris Maldonado super from fucking porn
stars. That's crazy. I'm ordering you to surrender that gay guy.
That's stupid
That's so dumb
It's a Halo 4 quote
I'm ordering you to surrender that AI
What you love that game
What's your favorite game?
I'm sorry
Is it rape your favorite thing
Uh
Queen
I escalated that way hard
I'm sorry
It's not equivalence
Aren't you a pedophile
Aren't you a pedophile?
I'm sorry
That was an uncalled for
I was uncouth
Oh you
don't say.
Yeah.
That was kift.
How far it went.
All right.
A queen of fab hazard as a gunette,
having three terabytes of hentai is heinits.
That's a lot of more.
As a prolific chronic masturbator myself.
Three terabytes.
Fixes your tie.
It's like,
just like as a prolific masturbator myself,
I feel like three terabytes is great.
You can easily get away with,
you can get quite a bit of longevity out of even just 40 gigabytes.
I consider myself a chronicler.
Right.
I'm a scribe if you say, you're going to my house, and you're like, oh, what do you need?
And I go over the cloak, and I'm like, you got that ladder.
You got that ladder with the wheels?
What do you wish for?
What do you wish for?
Interracial.
I'll find it for you.
What's amazing about this is none of this is illegal, actually.
This is all legal.
I've been people with, you know, we're not going to talk about them.
I've seen shit that.
I've seen shit with dogs and glue
and all sorts of
all sorts of crazy things
But my collection is good old
I mean it's
It's got that
You know your Nintendo games
Used to have that seal of approval
Yeah
Much like this
These would have it
These would have it
None of this is illegal
Some of them are called teens
You know
But you know those are 25 year olds
Trying to feel cool
There's butt sluts 98
Butslutts 98
It's a sequel
I have all of the
I have all of them
Inexplicably a sequel to
butslots 99.
I know.
It's a bit of a
Red Dead Redemption thing going on.
Weird times we live in.
Weird times.
Three terabytes of hentai is fucking,
that's just three terabytes.
By the way,
it's,
by the way,
that's three terabytes of
just cartoons.
Yeah.
Lord knows what,
like the real stuff.
If there was any.
There's,
you know?
Do you think people
who are that into anti
even jerk off to real people?
As someone has watched
hentai,
I used to watch anti for a bit of time,
it starts becoming a,
weird because it's just customizable i've dabbled because it's customizable you know yeah exactly what
i wanted to be was like you got to you got to break away you got to break away from that stuff i used
you think about it like uh like like food where i was just like i've had i've had i've had this for
too many days in a row yeah exactly you know i mean i'm gonna i'm gonna switch it up i have
actively thought of that that makes me so upset of course you thought that you're a person
we've all thought that i'm like oh man i'm tired of seeing you're not into the same porn every
day. I'm not, I'm tired of seeing real women have sex. Let's watch a fucking octopus.
Dude, there were, I, I would still say, like, at the time when I was like, really in it, man,
I would still say that it was more 80, it was 80 to 90% real and then, like, maybe like 10 to 20%?
It varies. It varies. It varies. Like, there were times where I was like, this is too detailed for me.
I don't want to see all these details. I just want to see, like, the highlights of the shapes.
For me, what happens is when you know, they look like someone you know.
On eBay, every find has a story, like if you're looking for a vintage band tea.
Not just a tea.
The band tea.
From the last show your favorite band ever played.
You wore it everywhere.
Then, your BFF started glaring it, which was cute, until they unfriended you and took it with them.
Which was not so cute.
Anyway, now you're on eBay.
And there it is.
Same tea from the same tour.
Still living in your memory, rent-free forever.
See? The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you.
But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your XBFF stole back.
It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught,
then heroically gave to the kid next to you.
And where else are you going to find your first car?
The one you wish you'd never sold, but now,
you finally get the chance to take back home.
For good this time.
Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story.
eBay. Things people love.
I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.
Hey, how's it going today?
It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.
I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.
That's pretty awesome. I think I saw Billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number.
Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.
And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?
What would I do if I got into an accident?
Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.
That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open.
Our call center is always waiting to take your call.
24-7, 365.
Wow.
Dan Morgan.
From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Lawfram.
Thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me.
Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.
What with real people?
Yeah, it's like, oh, man.
You log out.
You're like, oh, man, I've seen that.
Oh, yeah.
You're looking at, like, porn, and you're like, oh, my God.
I know, I effectively know that person.
Let me just.
Let's go watch Dragon Ball Super on fucking Bangbros.com, I guess.
You did that, didn't you?
Did you watch the Broly movie on X videos?
It was on, it was on, like, Spank Bang or something like that.
And I ended up watching a Broly movie, and I was like, oh.
It was subtle.
And I watched the whole movie, and I was like, oh.
You watched the whole movie.
the whole all of broly it was good it was a good movie well yeah it's a stolen movie i mean hey it was
it was it came out like a week ago i wasn't doing good at money that times i was like ah why not
hit a hit a lick right here there was a i saw there was there was a there was on porn hub i remember
because i used it as like a bit for a for a stream that i was doing where i was like pretending to be
caught with porn or whatever but there was like a a porn hub uh link to a video that was
literally just i can't remember what
was called, but it was like something like red team
destroys
destroys Blue Team or something.
And it was just a Halo match
that was uploaded to Porn Hub.
That's when I had to do the great purchase,
like that was happening.
I hope that that's still there.
I haven't had the courage to look at it.
I feel like if I look up Halo now on a porn site,
it's just going to be a fucking mess.
But it's going to be some shit you're like,
oh, I can't.
It's going to be like an elite spreading its pussy.
And it's going to be, it's going to have four lips.
You're knocking out of St.
Haley or what?
No.
No.
No, they're not humanoid at all.
for me.
For the culture.
No,
there's no culture.
But I'm scared
of what their genitals do.
That's a problem.
It's like,
what the fuck?
There's probably teeth
down there.
I just don't need that,
man.
I don't need that in my life.
Queen of Fab Hazard.
Thank you for your name.
Bald, blue-eyed German man
waiting for the Expedition 33 movie
with Sween as a lunet flying around the screen.
People would fucking burst in the flames,
dude.
They would.
They would burst in the flames.
I hit the black screen there for a second.
Whoops.
God damn it.
Specific white girl,
Queens Pound.
Yeager Meister and Satan Oskine beam sword.
Don't know, man.
Don't know what any of this means.
Starting to feel schizophrenic.
Why did Sweenie call Sophia Falcone light skin?
Can he not admit that he found a white woman attractive?
She's mixed race person.
She's a mixed race.
I thought so, too.
She's very pale.
No, absolutely, but she's a mixed race woman.
Who is that?
Sophia Falcone.
Oh, let's close that one, though.
So, Villavalkoan, uh, actress.
Who is that?
Uh, Christina.
Millioti.
What is that?
Italian?
Is she, I thought she was a mixed-race lady.
I could be wrong.
I mean, she's, she, she seems Italian to me.
But I don't, like, Millioti?
She's very likely Italian.
That's fucking, yeah.
Yeah, right?
Am I crazy?
No, I don't really, I thought she was a mixed-raced person.
I could be wrong.
Yeah, I mean, she's...
She's definitely Italian at least.
She's definitely Italian.
But yeah,
Sofia Falcone is...
She's...
Where the fuck was I?
I lost my parents.
She's, uh...
She's good.
She's good.
Good cast.
I'm, uh...
That show was really good.
I really like that show.
It's way better as the right to be.
But also,
that Batman in general fits,
like,
it fits the noir aesthetic of Batman very, very well.
Yeah.
I like,
I like,
I like whatever this version of Grounded is over...
The Bay, Beover's not grounded.
You know,
No one was, I think, too grounded.
It was theatrical, but also theatrical at the same time,
where it just didn't make sense to me.
It's like, this is supposed to be grounded,
but Joker just walked in after stealing a bunch of drunken drug lord's money.
Yeah.
And it has the time to put a pencil on someone's head,
and no one was just like...
Shoot him?
Yeah.
Batman also, like, that fight in the daytime is like, I don't know.
All this is on a set.
This is too realistic for this to look anything but stupid.
But then the Batman's got like, you know,
I'm walking upside down out of the fire, dude.
It's a good shot.
That's aesthetic as fuck.
Or him walking you.
with his boots clanking and being a fuck out of those Hispanic kids.
Beating the life out of those Latino kids.
And I'm like, yo, dude, that guy's dead.
Yeah.
Yeah, she's Italian.
I have the pussy so I make the rule.
Snark tanks, honorary leftist Thugzilla X God Ziga.
Ziggas in Paris.
Godziggas in Paris.
Just pissing all over the city.
What?
You know, because Paris smells like piss.
Oh, yeah.
My grandma told me that in 2000.
So that must have been
That must have been a thing for a while
It must be worse
It's all the lead paint on the Eiffel Tower
Melton off
She was like I went there in like the 80s
And it just stunk
And I was like oh
Oh
Do they not bathe there or something
Is that like a stereotype?
Of course they bathe
It's a city
It's a lot of population
So it's just fucking shitty
That's it
I guess
But there are
It stinks too
Like it does
Yeah but like New York City stinks
Like industrial stinks
Like New York City smells
Some places like just
It doesn't stink like urine
But it stinks like it stinks like urine
but it stinks like garbage.
I don't know about that.
Like, there are places that do for sure.
I feel like the overwhelming sense
that I get from New York City
is just like steel.
On eBay, every find has a story.
Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea.
Not just a tea.
The band tea.
From the last show your favorite band ever played.
You wore it everywhere.
Then your BFF started glaring it.
Which is cute
until they unfriended you and took it with them.
Which was not so cute.
Anyway, now you're on eBay.
And there it is. Same Tee from the same tour.
Still living in your memory, rent-free, forever.
See? The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you.
But eBay isn't just forgetting whatever your XBFF stole back.
It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught,
then heroically gave to the kid next to you.
And where else are you going to find your first car?
The one you wish you'd never sold, but now,
you finally get the chance to take back home for good this time.
Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story.
eBay, things people love.
I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.
Say hi, Dan.
Hey, how's it going today?
It's going good, man.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
I'm Dan Morgan.
I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan,
which is America's largest injury law firm.
That's pretty awesome.
I think I saw a billboard of years recently that said
20 billion one. 20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think,
somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder
and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an
accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open.
Our call center is always waiting to take your call.
24-7, 365.
Wow.
Dan Morgan.
From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law, from,
thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me.
Visit furtherpeople.com for an office near you.
You know what I mean?
I get like a...
That's the overwhelming sense for sure.
Maybe like, um...
Yeah, I don't know.
But the smell of food is always what whiffs by people as well, too.
When you're in New York, you're going to smell fucking...
You do get the garbage sometimes.
You're going to get the fucking...
Dude.
Hot tithes by people.
take, I like chicken over rice more.
I like pizza now, man.
I love some chicken over rice or some lamb over rice.
Oh, man.
They're close for me, but it's so good.
There's something about a pizza, though.
When I was in New York, I ate that shit, and I was like, I cannot believe I have
left this behind for fucking Mexican food, which is also good.
Well, the thing is you can make chicken over rice pretty easily.
Yeah.
Like, you don't need anything from New York to make that as good.
People just don't do it here.
Opposed to a pizza is like.
You kind of like, you're kind of like, there's a place called hot tongue.
in Silver Lake that makes
Oh really?
Really good pizza actually
I'm gonna let I'm probably know tonight
We already cooked this week unfortunately
But I know tonight
We made our fucking taco bowls
Because you know
Mexicans
I'm dating a fucking
I'm really respectful
But
Of a not good Hispanic
All right
GJ4 Swings like Glitch Frogs together
Strong Todd Howard
Casting himself as the voice for the aliens
In Fallout like Tarantino
In Pulp Fiction
Amelio the chosen Juan
This Way up V
I've fallen and I can't get up
Hassan trying to filter sand fucking sieves.
I want to, I want to apologize for calling Sween a PD file.
Why'd you do that?
Why'd you do it again?
Yeah.
You'd be like, oh, my bad, Swin, that's it.
But thanks for the apology, I guess.
Much appreciated, you know.
There's a wild thing to call somebody.
Yeah, for no reason.
For no reason.
Didn't you do that earlier?
What?
You did that earlier?
What?
Who said that?
Big Mitty stinks as AI.
Big Midi Stanks.
Canola Joe resurrected.
It was somebody chat GPTed in your eyes.
Knolljo resurrected N-word N-W-W-E-W-Hand-E-W-Head.
You suck, man.
That's the fact that I thought of when I was little, and I was like,
what if you said black hands?
Gay actor, Rosebud Delicious.
You wouldn't be scared if you were holding someone's hand?
And they turned black?
And you looked at someone who wears the front of my hands are like this,
but then I'm fucking white.
I would just, smoky white.
I would just assume that I've missed something.
It's not even a gradient.
You know what my immediate assumption would be?
It would be that's some wild vittal ego or vittaligo.
Yeah.
I just couldn't accept any other explanation.
Would you marry woman with Vidalgo?
Um,
she would have to be pretty amazing.
I couldn't risk my kids.
I would be, I would be, what?
I couldn't risk my children.
That's crazy.
Is it genetic in that way?
I don't think it's genetic.
I'm not here for science.
No, I mean.
I'm not here for science.
It depends on.
rates I'm not really caring about science.
It depends on how severe and it depends on how much I like the person, I think.
I think I am like some level of superficial enough to be like that might
bother me too much.
I've seen beautiful women of a lot.
I've seen beautiful like, like, Albino women before.
Like I've seen some that are like, you're gorgeous.
It would have to be like an interesting kind of like almost like like a character design
thing.
If it's just like kind of like splotchy and messy, I don't know if I could do it.
But if it's kind of like, if it's like, I don't know, like around the eye or something, like a
Zucco, that would be kind of cool.
Be kind of into it.
That feels more like you're wanting a dog for this per extent.
I know.
I know what it,
but that's the same thing.
You know what I mean?
Based on physical preference.
It's really gross,
but I still do it.
Well,
what am I going to get married to somebody that I'm not into?
You've got to find somebody you have something to attract.
You have attraction to physically.
Yeah.
There have been plenty of people that I think are a perfect fit for me outside of the fact that I just did not into it.
You know what I mean?
It's unfortunate.
It's a bummer.
It's unfortunate.
And it's not that.
It's like,
it's, you know, it's like, this is the name.
That's to be sexual chemistry.
Yeah.
It has to be there.
Can you just turn it to my best friend?
Yeah, well, well, that and otherwise was just like, well, this is clear, I'm clearly
going to find something better than this.
Obviously.
And that's going to be a problem.
Isn't it?
So like, that needs, that's, that's a truth.
That's a truth.
Yeah.
I respect you can understand that without having to drag someone through that, you know,
like that's a good thing.
Yeah.
Instead of being like, yeah, you know, you were cool for a bit, but you're not hot.
You just leave them.
That's fucking crazy.
gay actor rose but have you ever done that
yeah absolutely
I've been I've been shitty guy before
yeah before it's it's fun
we all have our journeys
but now I have my partner who I love
who I think it's beautiful at the same time so
well surprise
she's dead come on out
come on out Lily
come on out the dead body of your girlfriend
what the fuck
what the fuck say something say something
and it's just
that's fucking insane
sorry I can't I had a burrito I want
Allison breed a peg me and call me slurs
why was the Paw Patrol Twitter account? Why was the Paw Patrol Twitter account
the first place I heard about Obama dying? Heath watching Venezuela from a Japanese Taco Bell,
Gids, gaped green giggers getting hung by gay, gay, gay, gay. Small pussy, big pussy.
Those are two separate names, by the way. It's not the same name. It's crazy.
Are you serious? Yeah. See, small, separate. Small pussy, big pussy.
It's over. Pussy full of her.
One time I got made fun of
On the Drunken Peasants podcast
Ricky Berwick with the Speed Force
Do you think he could speed force
His way into being a normal person?
He quickly break his bones
Yeah, yeah, yeah
He'll, heal, heal, heal, heal, heal, I'm tall now
He's like 5'2
He looks like the guy from
Meet the Jeffersonsons
Johnson's?
I don't know.
Remember the movie
where the little kid
I know of the movie
I never saw it.
It's not a Jefferson
is the Jeffersons?
I don't know.
The Robinsons?
Yeah,
the Robinsons.
He would look like
the bad guy.
He'd look like the villainous thing
from Incredibles.
The big robot thing.
Yeah, the spider robot.
That was a very octopus
armed centric summer.
Really?
Was that also?
Spider-Man 2?
Right, 2004?
Was that the Incredibles?
2004?
It's just the past
That's crazy
I know 2004 with Spider-Man too
Obviously I have that on I have that on deck
Incredibles
Yeah 2004
I remember look at myself
I think that's why I was so obsessed
With that that was so cool
I think that's incredible not having a big titty as a waste
Because I feel like she could just effectively do that to herself
But it's probably uncomfortable
So what?
I got a big ass isn't that more important
It is more important
But I feel like it's at that moment
She might as well just change her race
And she's like like this go full same
Like if you go to do such a shit like that
Like he's like mystique
Like mystique
Like why would you ever be a woman
If you're a mystique
Just be a dude all the time
You know
I would be a woman all the time
If I was mystique
I think it's insane to choose to be a woman
I don't think so at all
If you're if you got powers
Why wouldn't you?
Why would you want to just be like
Kind of under attack all the time
It's like being like you're
But you're not a victim
Because you're strong
Like imagine choosing to be a black woman
On purpose
I mean that's crazy
It's like, what the fuck are you doing?
I think choosing to be a woman.
I would prefer to catch glances in myself and not be, like, infuriated.
Like, what's this man doing in my house?
That's crazy.
You hate men so much you hate being a man and knowing that you are one.
Sort of.
I kind of hate it.
Yeah, men kind of.
I appreciate the fact that, like, I don't have a period.
That seems like a real nuisance.
I feel like it's upplayed, but, you know, I think that's everybody's opinion.
I feel like they brought that on themselves in some way.
But.
It's like sin.
Cardinal sin.
But it, yeah, I just, I don't like the brain.
I don't like the brain that I got.
You think I like the brain of a win more?
Probably not.
Yeah, I guess there's no real winning, I guess.
Because I definitely would prefer this over that.
But also, it frust-
Yeah, there's no winning, really.
I would just choose to be a white man all the time.
I hate that when I see boobs, I forget what I was talking about or what I was thinking about.
I hate that that's still, I hate that when I'm scrolling to Instagram.
I should be desensitized to it really, but like I'm not.
I'm scrolling to Instagram and I see like a fat ass or tities and I like
it without thinking about liking it.
Right.
That shit happens to me.
And I'm like,
and I've had to literally like just not interested,
not interested.
No,
I've done that and my personal feed is fine.
They still pop up every now again though.
But it's like for me,
it's like,
why did I do that?
Like I didn't even,
I don't even care about that.
Right.
And I just did it because my fucking brain is,
it bothers me so much.
Because you're a lizard.
You're a lizard.
I figured,
I was talking to my,
my friend's my friends about that and you're like,
dude, it's not,
it's not anything bad.
I've talking to Lee about it.
She's like,
dude,
I understand.
like that's not you
yeah no I mean I get it
it's not even enough to me even
really notice what I'm looking at even
it is like
you appreciate
it you know
it's hard not to appreciate it
I appreciate it
but I want to at least appreciate it
not autopilot
acknowledge it you know
yeah I don't like that it's like not my choice
really you know what I mean
my choice
uh
taking that away from me
Gate off be like you shall fuck ass
EA sports it's in the sand
nice
He puts Saudi Arabia in parentheses
If it's like
It's if it's a mystery
Plot twist
Where's your glasses
Sweeney?
You said you were getting them
Two weeks ago
I'm waiting for them to call me back
Actually
Really?
Yeah
All jokes is
I'm being dead serious
I'm gonna call them right now
See what's
No no
No no no
No
Don't do it
The thing for me is
They might have
You
I feel like you pick
Because you sent your PC
To get fixed
By like these mystery people
It's the people
That made my PCs
I buy power
What is that?
It's like eight guys in a room?
It might be genuinely.
The facility's small.
They gave your computer back to you without the screws to put your fucking GPU back in.
I'm so mad about that.
I really want to play my games.
I feel like you're going to get glasses the same way.
They're going to give you like these like, uh, they're going to be the ones from like,
Tmu frames and then like just like it's going to, it's going to be like.
I got Nike frames.
What is that?
They make glasses?
I guess why wouldn't you?
I guess if you make anything, why wouldn't you make everything else at this point?
I got Nike frames. I'm excited to wear them.
I remember when LG started making TVs
and that confused the shit out of me because I thought...
On eBay, every find has a story.
Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea.
Not just a T, the band T.
From the last show your favorite band ever played.
You wore it everywhere.
Then your BFF started glaring it.
Which is cute until they unfriended you
and took it with them.
Which was not so cute.
Anyway, now you're a lot.
on eBay. And there it is. Same Tee from the same tour. Still living in your memory, rent-free,
forever. See? The things you love have a way of finding their way back to you. But eBay isn't
just forgetting whatever your XBFF stole back. It's also for that rare championship foul ball you
caught, then heroically gave to the kid next to you. And where else are you going to find your
first car? The one you wish you'd never sold, but now, you finally get the chance to take back home.
for good this time.
Shop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story.
eBay, things people love.
I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.
Say hi, Dan.
Hey, how's it going today?
It's going good, man.
Tell us who you are and what you do.
I'm Dan Morgan.
I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan,
which is America's largest injury law firm.
That's pretty awesome.
I think I saw Billboard of years recently that said 20 billion one.
20 million is an insane number.
Yeah, 20 billion recovered.
It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.
And each year we get bigger and batter and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.
Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?
What would I do if I got into an accident?
Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law.
That's pound 529 from your cell phone.
We are always open.
Our call center is always waiting to take your call.
24-7-365.
Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large Injury Law,
from thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me. Visit for the people.com for an office near you.
Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Well, they were also, like, I remember them from washing
machines and shit. Oh, shit. That's true. Imagine if Ken Moore came out with a TV?
I'd be like, I'd be like, how that the fuck? It's all technology. I guess.
Whatever. I want to hit Chris in the head so hard. All the meat comes off like a rack of ribs.
Wild. Wild. That's a lot of Newton's.
We don't know how Eels reproduced
Look It Up Cardboard Pie
Department of Hore Trump actually getting executed
Live on stage by Guar
Derek can you read the names
I'm just kind of over this I might go rub one out
It'd be an insane thing
I can't wait to the end of the show
And I'm just like guys I really got a bus one
Can me a second guys
It's really like run off
It's getting in the way so
You run off here rumbling you're like forging
For your fucking items
Items
The various items
What fuck do you think I'm doing?
You need your fucking, I don't know, you're, uh, I don't know, people, some people have, like,
You need my clamps.
It's fucking crazy.
You have some people have ceremonies.
I don't got no ceremony.
Like, girls usually light candles where they fucking, they go in a fucking.
That's crazy.
It's a waste of a candle.
They make it sensual.
I don't know, man.
I don't, I wouldn't do that.
I just, I just, I guess they got to counteract all those fucking fish fumes, huh?
And we're back.
Who was that?
God is river.
God is watching River Monsters.
we're going to page 3 now
What do you mean?
What's that about
That was so blindsided
That was like old school misogyny
That wasn't even like modern
Like women are dumb
You know that's crazy
I don't think it doesn't smell like fish at all
In my opinion
It shouldn't
Yeah
If it does
This is a weird stereotype
If it does
You shouldn't be this close enough to smell it
Yeah
I don't know
I never understood that
You know why it smelled like
You know why
Right
No
fucking in Europe and in Europeans they're fucking like yeah well the milkmaid would be like
yeah let's go give ourselves the rum toffin and you smell it and you vomit but they power through
though those motherfuckers powered through god damn I thank God every day that I live in a post sanitation
world at least in some way you know yeah it's like man people were like raw dog in
when like when they weren't when they weren't even like cleaning regularly man and even to the
effect that they work clean irregular
it's like it's not enough you know
even the people who were hygienic
about it just wasn't enough
rubbing clay and shit all over them
it's relative to where you are
because the natives
the natives in the Caribbean were like
oh we could smell them coming
this crazy
you smell a boat like
what is it?
Ew
what the fucking you do?
Who's this blonde-haired nigga?
Ew, you stink.
Ew.
You guys want to get sick?
Hey, cough.
Hassan cutting meat fucking cleave
Around here shots ring out like cellular phones
And leave-offs in the dirt like dinosaur bones
It's a good bar
What is that? Is that from something?
Probably, I don't know
Yeah
I don't guess that person was that creative enough to make that bar
Yeah
It's too structured, you know
It's quite structured, yeah
It's also like a 16
Like he's like you didn't do that
Yeah
Screaming with my arms out as I'm in a Batman cape
I've imagined
Where did you imagine this person?
Folly.
Folly?
I imagine him on a bus.
On a bus,
people are just trying to get to work.
He's got the Batman cape on,
but he's got like normal clothes.
And you're just trying not to look at him.
Desperately trying to.
You remember the video of the guy who got like he was doing an epic,
he was singing epic rap battle on history on the bus?
He got stabbed.
Do you remember that I said to that video?
I imagine getting stabbed after doing fucking, after loudly singing,
epic, like, fucking, I don't know,
Isaac Newton versus fucking Jerry Seinfeld or something.
What makes it so funny is that like?
It's a wild reason to get stabbed.
He got stabbed for being a little annoyed.
Like, obviously autistic.
Obviously, like, no non-autistic person is like loud.
loudly on a bus
singing like
I don't know
Fred Durst versus
Don Cheadle
I don't even know
what fucking
Missing man
Hassan
fucking a man named
Steve
fucking Steve
Goon devil
the man without come
chasing cars by blow patrol
if I'm gay queer
If I'm just gay care
Which I would me
and just fuck my holes
I can't fucking deal with this man
That's so fucking funny
Cone ass
FGC
fucking the T-girl
version of Derek
Okay
That's crazy
Wild
That's crazy
I don't know what that is.
See,
honest?
What is that?
Hey, Grock,
make him trance.
Hey, Grock,
transition him.
Transition this man.
Into another man,
different man.
Make him someone else.
Don't look at my U-Gi-O card.
I want to fuck you,
but not as you.
Not as you.
Can you be somebody else?
Stiltson.
Nah,
the storm cloaks are objectively
the bad guys.
Smitchie the gay.
The snart tank is probably
homoerotic,
pounding ass in
four four time, but moaning in three, four time.
That's so disorienting.
I can imagine that would be.
That's so weird because it would just really bother you.
Yeah.
That would get me.
That would really bother me.
Being one step off, you would just notice and be like, why are you doing that?
Yeah.
Why aren't you even moaning out of two?
Like, why are you moaning out of three?
Why are you doing it?
That's really aggravating me right now.
Yeah.
Even just the concept of it is really sending you.
What a wonderful kind of gay spray.
Your dick is my bidet.
Hey.
He could have kept going.
I don't know why he didn't.
McCar.
Chris hates Imagine Dragons but loves reality trains.
Star Coffee.
Titty single Tucco is my favorite vegetable.
What could that fucking possibly be?
Butter nut squash?
Is Tucco the opposite of squash?
Titty.
What's the opposite of titty?
But.
But single.
What's the opposite of a single?
Taken?
I don't know what you're fucking saying.
A couple or taken?
This is stupid.
You're banned.
You go over there, ban him.
He's a $700 fucking thing.
He's a ban him.
I don't give a shit.
I don't take the loss.
I don't go to fuck about the opinions of Italians.
Yush.
Lily doesn't know Kingston and me do it in my van every Sunday.
He's getting, he says he's getting food, but he doesn't go.
Still, he's choking.
Hassan clicks on porn and what on a porn ad?
Fucking sleaze.
This is a better.
There's a better way. It's a good, it's a good, it's a good end. It could use a better setup.
As if I give this shit.
While Chris, I don't care. I don't care.
While Chris nodded, dreams escaping. Suddenly there came a scraping as of someone loudly raping, raping at his chamber door.
Raping in front of someone. You're raping right out there.
I hate that idea.
I hear it. Well, that would be in my apartment. That would be terrifying.
Because I'm implicated now. It's my place.
Worst implications, man.
Yeah.
Unless you're the president.
But other than...
Oh, I guess so.
I guess it's immune.
I said the president or convicted.
Yeah.
It technically...
We're in New York, so technically me force my hand down her pants.
Dude, I saw somebody...
So I saw somebody...
So I saw somebody saying recently that they were like, man, I'm so sad that Zara and Moundani can't be president.
And I was like, this is an earnest question that I have.
Why not?
He's not born in a country.
He's not born in a country.
Does that matter?
No.
The fundamental...
laws this country don't matter anymore. That's what I'm saying. It's like I don't I genuinely like when
people are like oh he's he's born in a different country. I'm like you're not you're not allowed to
facilitate crypto scans before you go into the White House but he did it. You're not allowed to send
ice unilaterally into cities and he did it. You are not really allowed to do these things.
You are the problem is that you are so long as other people are allowed you to do it. So I really
think like yeah you could kind of just I said this on Twitter and people would disagree with me and
my brain went into a tizzy because I was just like a lot of laws are just
simply not updated for the modern world.
They need to be changed to adapt how the world is the time.
That's objectively true.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
People disagree with me.
That's like literally not even.
And I was like that.
I was like, do you understand what amendments are?
No, clearly.
I mean, that that's insane that somebody would think that that's not real.
What do you mean?
And it's like, but you have no clue what the good is objectively.
It's like, no, but that's why you keep changing them and update them as you go.
You don't just, you don't just, like that is, no, really.
It's a sign.
It's a sign that's like, oh, yeah, you don't know what you're talking.
You don't know.
You just don't know.
What's going on?
I say just run him.
Who cares?
Because you remember they did like Ted Cruz too?
Ted Cruz is a fucking Canadian and he ran.
Yeah, I know.
So like fucking whatever.
Who cares?
Who gives this shit?
I'm glad his dad got tortured by Batista.
The idea that Republican would ever have the nerve to say to me in the future is like,
he's not allowed to run for president?
The nerve.
I long for that day.
I'm excited for that day.
He's like, oh, he's not allowed?
Oh, interesting.
What are you saying?
The problem with Trump is a lot of obvious things happened
Yeah
That the president even at the time were like
No, they won't they wouldn't elect
A criminal right?
Yeah
Right
No, well, you know
Not even a cool crime
Not even like an interesting thing
Washington was picking up slaves
And ripping him and having drinking their entrails
Is that even like an interesting criminal
Is that even like a breaking bad criminal you know
It's just a really like
No he's just a sex pest
On eBay, every find has a story
Like if you're looking for a vintage band tea.
Not just a tea.
The band tea.
From the last show your favorite band ever played.
You wore it everywhere.
Then your BFF started glaring it,
which is cute until they unfriended you and took it with them.
Which was not so cute.
Anyway, now you're on eBay.
And there it is.
Same tea from the same tour.
Still living in your memory, rent-free forever.
See?
The things you love have a way.
of finding their way back to you.
But eBay isn't just forgetting
whatever your ex-BFF stole back.
It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught
then heroically gave to the kid next to you.
And where else are you going to find your first car?
The one you wish you'd never sold,
but now you finally get the chance to take back home.
For good this time.
Shop eBay for millions of fines,
each with a story.
eBay, things people love.
I've got Dan Morgan here on the podcast.
Say hi Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.
I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.
That's pretty awesome. I think I saw billboard of yours recently. It said 20 billion one.
20 million is an insane number. Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to 22, 23 after this year.
And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the,
number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in
contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is
dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always
waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan. From Morgan and Morgan, America's Large
Injury Law, from thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me. Visit furtherpeople.com
for an office near you. He's just a pedophile molester and a crypto-skirts.
hammer. It's like the lamest possible
combination of things. Not even cool.
Yeah, it's not even like he killed somebody.
You'd even like kill somebody you didn't really
need to. You just like, oh, there
are theories about his wife. Oh, the previous
one that just conveniently died.
Yeah. So like maybe, maybe
he's doing that stuff. Maybe. Maybe.
It's crazy. Hassan after a long winter.
Fucking freeze.
It's your boy, Shawnee Dee. A man named
Diddy and he diddles people? Did Kojima write this? DoorDash
Raft. At Grok is this true. Response outless
boringy. Fun fact. There's a free
app called local send for iOS
and Windows that allows air drop between them.
Ooh, that's...
That's powerful.
I'll have to look that up.
You figuratively starve...
That's a very powerful thing.
You figuratively starve that adult next month.
Why is it no longer smiling?
A kid beat so often he dead ass has to start wearing triple layers.
In sixth grade...
That's really sad and like that.
Well, it works.
I don't know, man.
I'm too...
My nephews have made me so much more sensitive to...
I've always been obviously never...
Like, it's always been bothered me.
You would have never beat a kid to death.
But, like, I'm so much more sensitive to, like, this children in general.
Because as an adult, I'm able.
Because I've been around kids my whole life effectively, but I was also young at the time.
But now being around as an adult, it's like, oh, they should just be cherished.
And they're absolutely not.
And it really makes me upset.
Oh, well.
If you have a child, you know, you can't take care of.
You deserve to be in prison, I think, actually.
Like incarcerated.
Like you should like be completely locked away and have a group of drug rights taken from you.
I actually think I should go that far.
What if things happen that are unforeseen that make it difficult?
That's different.
All right.
So like knowingly.
Yeah, knowingly doing it is like, oh, you should lose your reproductive rights.
I think that should be taken from you.
I don't know about prison, but like you should.
You should be able to have children again.
Yeah, there should be something.
As much of going.
That's crazy.
In sixth grade, I got in trouble for laughing at footage of the Challenger explosion.
Look up Xavier Renegate Angel wind monkey clip and thank me later.
It's goaded. You've seen it, right?
No, I don't know.
You've never seen it. Oh, my God.
I don't know if I know it.
Like, I might know it, but like, I don't know if, I don't know it by name and it's not ringing a bell to me.
It's so funny.
I don't doubt it.
I've not seen it.
I've not seen it.
What is that?
That's a savior running again.
Oh, no.
My headphones, okay.
Oh, you've paired your headphones.
That's a savior running again angel?
It's a crazy ass kit.
That is.
That is a crazy ass kit.
That is so much needs to be.
Being thrown into this in the deep end is wild
That show is really fucking funny man
Kail loves it
Of course you've met Kail, of course he loves that show
That's him
Anyway that's fucking crazy
I've never seen I've never done wigger
That's crazy
They were in the fields
I caught this wind
There were so many of them
Hey man remember
Capitalism doesn't benefit off of slavery
Remember that argument being made?
Well, Hassan, when his autistic friend asked him what he's supposed to do at a funeral.
Grieve.
Grieve.
That's crazy.
I think they grieve, too.
They don't, I don't think autistic people are like, I don't know, to grieve.
They're like, actually, it meant nothing.
Actually, on a cosmic scale, Nirograss says told me that you didn't matter.
This ultimately doesn't matter at all.
You're doing a Mandy May thing.
Turns around and cries.
He cries like obese that he builds something.
that's so stupid
Trump is fighting to the nail
not to spend the last 10 seconds
of his life in prison
Obi won't you blow me
Colin Moriarty supports
the current administration
Just drop him already Chris
I don't think so
I got that gamma
Rage yet
and Dun brought mankind
to its knees
I get it
Yeah
Kremlin de Gremlin
Snail with a snail emoji
Won't W. Dallie
Willem Defoe
What
Oh
won't
W to ally
Keep it up
Was that Jordan
I don't know
I don't think so
I don't think so
Double time
Make more
Yeah make more
Go ahead
Playing dead space
So well
They give me a bike
Playing dead space
Whenever I read
Playing dead so well
They give me a Viking funeral
Snartank listener
He would be like
What if instead of
Rape me by Nirvana
It was rape sweet
Wage Slate 583
Conservative Hassan
Mocking George Floyd
death fucking breathe.
That's fucking powerful.
That's a powerful one.
That's a good one.
Piny Brothers presents,
publishing presents Frank Reynolds,
New Children's book,
The Horax,
Donkerson,
Homeless Chris,
Christopher Rapodzirk.
We're at the last,
we're at the last stretch here.
P.P.,
if I had a dollar for every racist joke
I ever told,
I'd be broke because I wasn't joking.
That's actually a really good one.
That's well written.
That's a,
who kind of joke is that?
That's a,
I don't know.
That's a professional,
that's a professional great joke.
That's a real joke.
That's a proper, like that's
great misdirect, good punchline.
That'd be a joke
told by like somebody in the 80s.
Yeah.
Like someone that would,
someone that would end up as friends with
what you call Eddie Murphy later on.
Yeah.
Like I was kidding, man.
You know,
I was fucking saying shit.
Elypsies.
Tick,
what is it?
Tick cock suck my cock,
but the suckers ain't stopping.
Yowie connoisseur.
When I die,
mix my ashes into a brick.
and bash a fascist's head in.
John Strickland, I'm going crazy in the bussy,
writing my own comma sutra.
Kama slutra, nice.
The first church of Keith David,
Hassan getting chased at his local pond,
fucking geese.
Derek, check out Quiet World by Native Construct.
You had Derek.
Mr. Aziz.
Derek screams from where he is.
Oh.
They have a tent of a point.
Mr. Aziz's go.
Pre-Rod.
I got lock you out.
jaw doing grave out shifts at the Dick Suckin Factory and like I was locked,
Joe as previously mentioned.
Locust life coaching,
uh,
Locust life coach teaching people how to rise and grind.
Grind.
Grind.
Right.
I like the idea of the friendly locust.
I think that's really funny.
Grind.
Grind.
Grind.
Grind.
I'll help you and I'll kill my people to help you, but.
Grind.
They're bad.
You're good.
Boom.
A little cook has come up to you and rub your leg.
Ew, I hate that.
The idea of a fucking nuzzling wretch.
Napster of puppets.
You didn't kill a wretch?
No, I don't think so, man.
No way.
I think I'm cooked.
They're pretty, like, I mean, they're pretty broad, you know?
They're also savage, and I'm not.
Yeah, I feel like.
And it's sharp.
The second it got a single hand on me, I would cry.
I would be freaking out.
I would just close my door and hope it can't get in, but they're a windows, and they can climb.
They'll slip through the door somehow.
Crawling on my knees, it hurts the sand on heels, Lincoln Park.
guys, it's time to take out Ulfric Storm Cloak.
Monkey Monks.
I'm glad people agree with me with that.
I'm glad I'm not made crazy because I played that game and I was like, he's kind of an
asshole.
Yeah, I mean, I thought that immediately.
Like I sided with him because of the fact that elves, no, never.
That's crazy.
But after playing the game, I'm like, oh, you're not great, not great.
Just gape it.
If you got an erection, gape it.
If you think he's long, just gape it.
Don't use protection.
Whoa, you're such an episode.
Bizzar.
Oh.
Nice.
Evil Colonel Sanders makes J.BC, Jersey boiled crow.
Who do you think that is?
Is it Jordan?
Yes, that's Jordan.
Jersey boiled crow.
It's fucking disgusting.
This guy is our friend.
This man is one of our good friends.
Good.
Some of our good friends.
Good in quotes.
We need an hour of it of just Sweene laugh.
Sweeney's laughing.
Sween's laughs.
fans unites.
We spend our free time with him.
We spend many of our weekends with that person.
Yeah.
It's really sad.
Too many.
It's really sad.
That was the person who's
place we were going to
when we got derailed
in the fucking Mission Viejo.
Jersey.
Boiled Crow.
It's so disgusting.
Hassan at the end of a date
when the girl won't put out
fucking tease.
That's crazy.
Dick's so dirty.
I get in the pool
and it all turns to mud.
That's so disgusting
Bitch a Piro
You've seen all the compilations of his sister's tits
Just flying around internet
No what?
There's a bunch of them
It's like pictures of it's like
You know they have like the
They're doing it on Twitter now
It's like the three like wrongly put together pictures
And then you click on it and it has it all together
Is that but just of his sister's large breasts
I have not seen that
And it's like oh well
Bookmark
that's fucking crazy
waking up at 4 a.m. and
pissing in the trash bin
Chris jorgant his shit to the concept of John
117 making out with Thel
Faddam as they kill all
San Shrine in the Galaxy
you know me
piece of shit
sorry Miss Jackson
calling him John 117 feels so weird
it's chief
Yeah
Like he is John 117 yes
His name is Master Chief Petty Officer
John 117
I would never call him John 117
That's too informal
Yeah, it's like you say you know him
That's either chief which is informal
Or Master Chief Petty opposite
You can't be going like John
I feel like if you call him John he would throw you somewhere
Yeah
You're you're gay
He would like slowly
You'd put his hand on your face
And slowly scrape your face off onto your chest
Or he'd walk at you
To the point you get to a wall
That he'd walk
And he'd keep going
He'd keep going
Being crushed by a Spartan slowly
walking into a wall is fucking insane.
Because he's got crushed by the shield first technically too
because they exist outside of them.
You'd probably be burning a little bit.
Well, whatever.
Freezing a dish of piss and sliding
over between his door every day.
Peasance Graham, Aetherian has the past
because he took Colossus's hard ass.
Progerian Hunter is having a child
frying bacon with my shirt off.
Nayfram and routing out our list as always.
The king of haphazard.
This must be a short episode, guys.
I want you to understand that.
Mind you, you're like, oh, we're going to do a short
is Derek's not here, nearly three hours.
Is it three hours? Is it three hours?
We did two and we did, yeah, I guess so.
Dog shit.
Well, it's just the two of us. I don't know.
It's interesting.
You know, we got a little different flavor going on.
Is this what we, this is just living together effectively before?
Yeah.
The same thing.
Yeah, basically.
Dog shit.
Everything's dog shit.
Dog shit interaction.
Bye guys.
See you later.
Bye.
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